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fd_How_I_Met_Your_Mother_04x16

fd_How_I_Met_Your_Mother_04x16_0

Ted (2030): In 2009, your Aunt Robin had a morning show.She had to get up early enough. At what point? 1:45, Robin joined Barney, Ted, Marshall and Lily to McClaren's. Robin: Hello, everyone. Marshall: So you do really? You really gonna go to work at 2am. Robin: I do not for me. I do it for the fans. Marshall: Who is a fan of a program broadcast at 4am? Lily: Those with a show at 5am? Ted: The addicts who have not sold their TV? Barney: The strippers in this weird time between work and waking the children? Robin: They are. Put me know. It's been what? Marshall: You know, as usual. Barney: Really, as usual.? Think the funniest thing that ever happened. Robin: It's good. Barney: And twice that. Robin: So a chimpanzee wearing two tuxedos? Barney: Something even funnier happened to Marshall today. Marshall: First, nothing is funnier than that. Then it's not such a good story. Robin: Come on, guys. You are four young people active in the most exciting city in the world. And you have nothing to tell me? Lily: What do you want? Sometimes it's like that. The same thing over and over again. One of my students ate glue. Barney: I have used questionable methods to skip a very silly girl. Ted: My ex, Karen, is in New York. The usual routine. Lily: Karen is here? Barney: You're kidding me! Ted (2030): Children, I think you talked about Karen. Flashback Ted (2030): It was my girlfriend in high school and at times in college. She was beautiful, intelligent. I was crazy in love with her. The only problem, Marshall and Lily were not. It should probably come out of this as soon as we opened. Ted is on his bed, kissing a girl while Lily and Marshall are playing cards. Karen: I like you live in a dorm. It's so American. Like eating rotten sandwiches and be racist. End flashback Lily: My God, it was a real idiot. Marshall: Dude, the gold medal of the andouille de Vire. Ted: It was not that bad. Lily: Of course, for you. You had it turned into a zombie of andouille. Marshall: I want to eat your brain, but only if it is organic and free range. Ted: What? Flashback Marshall, Lily, Ted and Karen eat in the room of Ted and Marshall. Lily: You pass me the salt? Karen: The salt? It's so bourgeois. Ted: Bluntly. Marshall is lying on his bed, wearing Ted and Karen's books next. Karen: What is this? Marshall: It's... a TV. Karen: I not watch TV. Ted: Bluntly. Karen: You thought I would buy tickets to WrestleMania? It was ironic. Ted: Bluntly. Marshall (disguised): I know... you was ironic. Me too... I'm ironic. Lily (arriving disguised): Let's go! What? End flashback Marshall: This makeup has one month to go. I met with parents of Lily. I have never looked so stupid. Barney: So far. Tells the story, tells the story! Marshall: Get off me! Robin: Wait. It's really funny? Barney: I'm not kidding. I almost do not want you to hear, because really, for the rest of your life, nothing will ever be as fun and you, curse you for agreeing to hear. You gotta hear it.This is too funny. Marshall: Okay. Flashback Marshall is in the locker room with his colleagues. Marshall: This morning I was in the gymnasium of the box to play basketball. The guys from work can be quite violent with their taunts. Bilson: Look Wisniewski. He will cry. Look at him. Man: Look at him. Marshall: I think that the knees are made to bend like that. He may have torn his cruciate ligament. Bilson: Dude, all that he has torn, that's her uterus or maybe her hymen. Man: Yeah, or the fallopian tube. End flashback Marshall: I can be a bit watered down dialogue, whatever... Flashback Marshall: I searched my bag to get my stuff working... End flashback Barney: Wait. Expect. I want to say. Marshall: Okay. Say it. Barney: He searched his bag to get his stuff, and... No, say it.It's more fun if you say so. Let me say it. No, say it. You say.Say it. At the same time. No, go ahead. Marshall: I forgot... Barney: He forgot his pants! Flashback Marshall is in shorts in the corridors of his job. He enters his office. End flashback Barney: He forgot his pants. GENERIC Robin: He forgot his pants. It's pretty funny. Less than a chimpanzee wearing two tuxedos. I mean, he... he forgot that he was already one? Moron, the monkey. Ted: So, Karen in New York. Bizarre, no? Lily: You can not get back with Karen. Ted: I never said I'd do that. I thought it arrives. That would be the worst disaster if I called? Marshall: It is not the worst, no. That would be the fourth worst.1: Super volcano. 2: An asteroid falls to Earth. 3: Any record of Evel Knievel is lost. 4: Ted called Karen. 5: Lily is eaten by a shark. Lily: My name is Lily and I approve this order. You know the story. Ted and Karen had a rocky relationship in college. It always happened like this. They were having fun, being obnoxious until one day... Flashback Ted enters her room with a pizza. Ted: You find pepperoni fascist and you're so right, so... (He finds Karen in bed with another) Oh, my God! Karen! Man: Sorry, dude. Karen: Before you say a word, I think you should read Les Fleurs du Mal by Baudelaire. End flashback Marshall: After that, they broke. Ted was totally depressed, and we waited the necessary time to tell him what we thought of it. Flashback Ted: I broke up with Karen. Lily: They hated it! Marshall: Bye bye, the slut! End flashback Lily: Then Ted went up the noggin and took the bus to Providence to tell Karen's four truths. Flashback Marshall: How was it? Ted: Super. Look who's here! Marshall and Lily: Karen. End flashback Lily: And finally, all over again from scratch. Flashback Ted: It's gonna be 10,002 Maniacs, because I have tickets to Natalie Merchant... He finds Karen still in bed with a man. Man: Sorry, dude. End flashback Robin: She came to see you in college and when you had my back turned, she brought the guys in your room? Barney: Respect. Ted: I was an idiot. It was my first real girlfriend. I was crazy about her. We've all done things we regret in college. In the third year, Marshall has grown the goatee, wearing a beret and Rasta required to be called MJ Cool. Marshall: I regret it at all. Ted: So you really think that I should not call? Robin: No. Marshall: Go back in your little head it. Ted: OK, OK. Interesting information: it is already done. Lily: Are you kidding! Barney: The pants! Lily: I can not believe that thou hast called. Why do not you invite him to lunch as you're at it? Ted: Because I will not invite him to lunch... again. Lily: You have to lunch? Marshall: Why do you want to lunch with an ex? Barney: Good question, there are four reasons for a "meal ex '.1: They want to get back together. Lily: As my high school boyfriend, Scooter. Flashback A man arrives with flowers in the restaurant where Lily is already. Lily: The Lilium, not stupid. Sorry, I have no scooter for you. Scooter: This is super funny! I forgot your humor. Lily: It is this server? Scooter: Why? You like the servers? I can be a waiter. I will become the best server in the world, and you'll love me! End flashback Barney: 2: They want to kill you. As my lunch with Wendy. Flashback Barney is the restaurant with Wendy. Wendy: Happy is that way at last. You know, after you have rejected nine times, I almost drop. Barney: But you did not do it, you've continued to insist. Wendy: Actually, there is one thing I wanted to give you. Barney: Gun! She's got a gun! He runs away. Wendy: It's a tie! End flashback Barney: 3: They make you really want your business. Robin: As my lunch with Curt. Flashback [SCENE_BREAK] Robin is the restaurant with Curt. Curt: Actually, there is one thing I wanted to give you. He pulls out a gun and gives it. Robin: My short-barreled 38 Special Police! I knew that I had left it somewhere. Every time I watch the news, I pray it is not my gun. Curt: We did well to break. End flashback Barney: Or four: You taunt with their success. Marshall: As my lunch with Nicole Barsamian. Robin: Who is Nicole Barsamian? Marshall: My ex. Flashback Marshall is at school, at dinner with a girl. Marshall: Hi, Nicole. Nicole: You look good. Marshall: You look pretty. Nicole: I see someone. Marshall: Already? Who? Nicole: Lee Roberts. He already reads like a CM2. End flashback Marshall: You must cancel the luncheon. Ted: I'd do that, of course... if he had not already occurred. Lily: Robin, I will have to borrow the butt of your gun. Robin: I still lost. You come to believe? Lily: How can you break bread with this chick? Ted: It was a lunch and not eat wheat. It was nice to be back.We even laughed at the idiots we were. Flashback Ted is the restaurant with Karen, his ex. Karen: Say I had a beret different every day. Ted: Say I had a picture of Moliere on my backpack. Karen: It was pretentious. Ted: Bluntly pretentious. Waiter: What would you like? Karen: I want to make a scene, but in your list of wines, there is a Chateauneuf-du-Pape listed under "C tes de Provence".You should tell your waiter. Waiter: And for you? Ted: I hate change, but take us brushettes and fresh mozzarella. Grazie. End flashback Ted: It was great. There was an odd moment near the end. Robin: How to say goodbye in these situations? A kiss on the cheek, too familiar. A handshake, too formal. Barney: And a hug is like a hug in public. Marshall: You must embrace strangely. Lily: What has happened? Ted: So... Flashback Karen: Schopenhauer had a discussion daring, in which he opposed... Ted kisses her. End flashback Lily: Ted, darling. Go outside and bite the curb. I arrive in 1 minute. Ted: Karen was the first girl I really loved. And after the year I had, I dunno, I think of lunch with her reminded me what it was to turn 18 and life ahead. And I would remind everyone that at least I was wearing pants. Marshall: You can not change the subject like that. Robin: The pants. Barney: The pants! The pants! Marshall: It was nothing! I had a small problem, so I called Lily. Barney: Tell us, what was this concern? Marshall: I forgot my pants. Flashback At school, Lily is on the phone. Lily: What do you mean you forgot your pants? Marshall: I forgot. You have a bringest me. Lily: And the spare. Marshall: Last Thursday, the mustard? You have a goldfish memory. End flashback Lily: Ted, you're not going out so easily. While the history of pants is fun... Barney: Fun? Rather, very fun. Lily: That's nothing compared to this crazy thing with Karen.Ends. Ted: That's all. It was just a kiss in a restaurant. Lily: Why do you say "the restaurant"? You've embraced elsewhere? Ted: As in a tree? No, it was not done in a tree. What is his problem? Marshall: You did what? Flashback Ted and Karen return to the apartment, with a kiss. End flashback Barney: How could you? Lily: Marshall forgot his pants today, and yet you are the stupidest in this table. Ted: Lily, let's be honest. We know both your motives. You hate Karen because she lingered. Lily: Asshole. Robin: What do you mean by linger? Lily: February 5,... In 1998. I painted... Flashback Lily Marshall painted while laying bare. Karen enters the room. Karen: I'm sorry. Sorry. (She goes out then comes back) The color palette is a bit derivative of the first Van Gogh, right? End flashback Lily: Ted Horn, critique my painting, anything, that's your business. But I catch you eyeing the mess of my guy and you lingered? You'll be received well. Robin: The game is the game Marshall: In his defense, I had just the muscle. Ted: Why paint naked? Lily: He had eaten my fruit bowl. The fact is that Karen is a dirty pervert, you can not bring into our lives. Ted: Relax, it was just one night! And three after. And one morning. But at least I had pants. Even if, in fact, I had not. Robin: It happened to us? Where was I? Ted: You know the sleeping pills you take for your crazy schedule? They are stronger than you think. Flashback Ted and Karen kissing on the couch, then rises to the room of it. Robin La Fontaine sends the puck to Turgeon. (She sleeps on the desk in the lounge) draws Turgeon. Judgment of the mitten. Ted and Karen kissing on the couch again. Robin: Do not worry. I will say nothing to Marshall. Karen: I'll have a beer. You want one? A beer. I decanted Bordeaux. Robin is lying in the kitchen, half asleep and eat. End flashback Barney: Ted, that's for sure, it's fun to look back when you were a farm girl fresh complexion and a virgin. But all that stuff... Ohio, Karen, in college... it was A.S. "Before Stinson." Now your life is great! Okay, you still live with your ex, which is ridiculous. Laser tag your skills are almost nonexistent. And your wardrobe, it's like, what, you're allergic to fabric quality?Seriously, pull yourself together. What are we talking? Robin: What is the result with the bimbo? Marshall: It's a foregone conclusion. Ted is Charlie Brown trying to shoot and Karen, it's Lucy who takes away the ball at the last second and sleeping with. You have understood me.Ted falls in love, and Karen is going wrong with a playboy, who says... "Sorry, dude." Ted: False! You got to let the right answer in your pants, because that's exactly what did not happen. Ted (2030): Because that's what happened. Flashback Ted and Karen are in bed and kiss. Ted (2030): An afternoon at Karen. A man enters the room and discovers Karen with Ted. Man: My God. How could you? Ted: Sorry, dude. Ted (2030): This time, the playboy with whom she deceived... End flashback Ted: That was me. Me. The one time Marshall forgot his pants? Marshall: Damn! Stop changing the subject. You have gone too far. You are complicit in breaking the heart of this poor guy.And you, you are best placed to know how it feels. Robin: You really do speak of your pants? Marshall: What? Barney: Pant, pant... Marshall: Okay! Lily came to the office to bring me my pants... Barney: Why she did this? Marshall: Because I forgot. Flashback Lily out of the elevator and crosses Barney. Barney: Lily, what are you doing here? Lily: I just give something to Marshall. Barney: He "give" something. Understood. Nice. Lily: But I'm in a hurry. I can give it to you? Barney: Of course, yes. Lily: And you give him? Barney: Wait. I do not know. Yours had better be really good. Lily: What are you talking? Barney: What about you? Lily: Marshall forgot his pants, so I brought him one. Barney: He forgot his pants. Good thing you came because today it has an important meeting, and it would be embarrassing and not at all funny if it were to show no pants. I will make sure he has. Lily: Awesome. Thank you. End flashback Ted: And you did not give him. Barney: Theodore Evelyn Mosby. Of course I gave him. I gave him my word. It is concrete. For cons, I made a few alterations. Flashback Barney cut Marshall's pants. Marshall is in a meeting. Marshall: As you can see on page 44 of the contract... Bilson: Since when you are in AC / DC? Marshall: You can look at page 44 of the contract? Man: Auditions for Oliver Twist are down! Barney: Please, can I have more... pants? End flashback Barney laughs alone. Barney: More... Robin: Is that all? It's the story? Marshall: What has happened to Karen? Lily: I'll finish for you. Ted left without saying anything, and Karen got exactly what she wanted. Ted: Not this time. Flashback In Karen, Ted gets dressed. Ted: You have a boyfriend? Karen: It's a moment you move away. I intended to break. Ted: You're unbelievable. You do not have the guts to break up with someone decent. So, you've preferred to ride it all. Karen: OK, you're right. I'm good in literature. Gifted in art.Good at identifying a French wine for less than a kilometer from where the grapes grew. But... I'm really bad to watch someone and say what I feel. Ted: We're both zero for that. But... I think we need to change.Why do not I would start? You are really hurtful and reckless.Goodbye. Karen: Ted, wait. In fact, "good bye" means "until we see each other again." So I guess you mean that in fact, we'll meet again? Ted: Sorry, dude. End flashback Robin: I am impressed. For you too have worn it all day? Marshall: It shows my calves. Barney: The pants. Still tells. Lily: You know, this is perhaps good that you called Karen. Ted: Of course. And that for me, too. Later, she spoke with Jerry, and the discussion was that it avoided breaking with me. Ted (2030): You see, children, sometimes when you have to have a difficult discussion, the better to do... Lily: Wait a minute. You said that you never reparlerais him?So how do you know she has followed your advice? Ted: Right. On this subject... After breaking up with this guy, we went out, we slept since we're together. It's really okay, this time it's different. Here it is. Be nice!

When Lily and Marshall get wind of the fact that Ted's college girlfriend Karen ( Laura Prepon ), who they always hated, has moved to New York, they try to persuade him not to contact her.

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_21x12

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_21x12_0

RESURRECTION OF THE DALEKS BY: ERIC SAWARD Part Two Running time: 46:52 [SCENE_BREAK] DALEKS: Exterminate the Doctor. Exterminate the Doctor. Exterminate the Doctor. Exterminate LYTTON: Wait. DALEK: He is an enemy of the Daleks. He must be exterminated. LYTTON: He must be duplicated first. Confirm with the Supreme Dalek. DALEK: Supreme Dalek confirms the order. We must take the prisoner to the duplication chamber. Proceed. STIEN: Impulsive, aren't they. LYTTON: They'd kill anybody, even if they need them. STEIN: Now much longer before it's your turn? [SCENE_BREAK] MERCER: It's here. STYLES: It isn't guarded. MERCER: Be grateful. TURLOUGH: What is it? MERCER: Self-destruct chamber. STYLES: Right, let's get it open. TURLOUGH: What are you going to do? STYLES: Guess. [SCENE_BREAK] LAIRD: Would anyone like some tea? TEGAN: Please. LAIRD: Colonel? ARCHER: No. LAIRD: How much longer will the ambulance be? ARCHER: I don't know. LAIRD: Tegan has severe concussion. It's vital she receives proper medical attention. ARCHER: She will receive medical attention as soon as it is available. TEGAN: Thanks very much. LAIRD: Pity he didn't want any tea. He'd have slept for hours. TEGAN: We've got to get out of here. TEGAN: Do you think we could free one of these? LAIRD: I should think so. [SCENE_BREAK] DALEK: Proceed. [SCENE_BREAK] ARCHER: They know. CALDER: What do we do? ARCHER: The Daleks will instruct us. [SCENE_BREAK] DALEK: It is vital you complete your researches as soon as possible. DAVROS: I will need a sample of the Movellan virus. DALEK: It will be brought to you. DAVROS: I will also need two Daleks for experimentation. DALEK: That is forbidden. DAVROS: If I am to find a cure, I will need living Dalek tissue. DALEK 2: We must consult the Supreme Dalek. DAVROS: Do so, but be quick! Already I grow impatient. [SCENE_BREAK] STYLES: Where do we start? [SCENE_BREAK] LYTTON: Lytton. [SCENE_BREAK] BLACK: This is the Supreme Dalek. The self-destruct chamber has been invaded. [SCENE_BREAK] BLACK (OOV.): The hostiles must be exterminated. LYTTON: There isn't time. Abandon the space station. BLACK (OOV.): You should have anticipated this. LYTTON: The original plan was to snatch Davros and leave, not dance to his every whim. BLACK (OOV.): Nothing must endanger Davros. The hostiles must be destroyed. The Daleks must be obeyed. [SCENE_BREAK] DALEK: You must not touch the equipment. DOCTOR: Without the threat of death, you're quite powerless, aren't you. DALEK: You will obey. STIEN: It is unwise to provoke the Daleks, Doctor. DOCTOR: However you respond is seen as an act of provocation. I know the Daleks of old. And Davros. I assume he's about here somewhere. STIEN: You only invite trouble with your questions. DOCTOR: Do you mean it can get worse? STIEN: Oh, yes. The Daleks are very capable of devising painful and undignified ways of dying. DOCTOR: But not yet. The Daleks need my brainwaves intact, don't they. [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: It's so light. What's it made from? LAIRD: Who knows? It defied every test I could think of. [SCENE_BREAK] STYLES: It looks complicated. MERCER: Try the computer. It may contain the ignition sequence. TURLOUGH: And when you've primed your bomb, is it absolutely necessary that we die along with the station? STYLES: Look, none of us are looking to become martyrs. You know a way out? TURLOUGH: The Time Corridor I mentioned. It exists, it's real. We could use it to escape. MERCER: What do you think? STYLES: You could check it out while I try and find a way into this thing. MERCER: Right. [SCENE_BREAK] DALEK: You must cooperate. You must lie down. DOCTOR: Why isn't Davros here? I would have thought he'd have wanted to see this. STIEN: He is otherwise detained. DOCTOR: So, he is here. DALEK: It does not concern you. What sort of trouble are you in this time? [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: Well? LAIRD: Not bad. TEGAN: But would it convince? LAIRD: If you didn't look too hard, perhaps. TEGAN: The truth is you'd have to be blind not to see it isn't a body. LAIRD: Quickly! ARCHER: You can stop pretending. LAIRD: I don't know what you mean. ARCHER: You're to be transferred to the Dalek ship. LAIRD: Tegan is sick. ARCHER: Not for much longer. TEGAN: One way or another, we're both dead. [SCENE_BREAK] DAVROS: A further recruit. DAVROS: Initiate. DAVROS: Welcome. [SCENE_BREAK] STYLES: Thanks a lot. Zena? ZENA: Lieutenant Mercer might have security clearance. STYLES: That's a point. Get him on the radio. ZENA: The Daleks could trace the transmission. STYLES: Well, he can't have got far. Try him on a high-frequency range. The Daleks can't monitor them all. STYLES: That's outside! Close the door! Dalek Troopers! [SCENE_BREAK] LYTTON: They must have seen us. Take out that camera. [SCENE_BREAK] STYLES: Build a barricade. Something we can use for protection. Now there's nothing to lose. Let's see what I can make out of you. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: What will you do with my duplicate? STIEN: That does not concern you. DOCTOR: Oh, I think it does. I've grown rather attached to myself. DALEK: You will remain silent. DOCTOR: I assume my brainwaves are destined for Davros. You must need his services very badly. DALEK: The Daleks are the superior being. We do not require assistance. DOCTOR: Superior? It took you long enough to ensnare the TARDIS in the Time Corridor. DALEK: It was but one trap. DOCTOR: Hmm. But Stien was more effective. A living, thinking being, not some tin-pot machine. STIEN: Please, Doctor. DALEK: Stien is but an extension of Dalek technology. DOCTOR: What? DALEK: He is a duplicate. He is a product of our genetic engineering. DOCTOR: Are you all duplicates? STIEN: Yes. DOCTOR: Interesting. I wonder what happened to the real you. [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH: The Time Corridor is on the other side of the airlock. MERCER: What about the Troopers? TURLOUGH: We kill them. MERCER: And the Daleks? We must set the self-destruct mechanism first. We go back. TURLOUGH: No. MERCER: We go back. [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: Let's go. LAIRD: No, I should stay. TEGAN: Don't be silly, they'll kill you. LAIRD: No, not if you can get help quickly. This isn't going to deceive anyone for very long, not unless there's someone here to help it along with a little bluff. Now you're wasting time. Go! Go! And good luck. TEGAN: And you. I'll be as quick as I can. [SCENE_BREAK] LYTTON: Can we blow a hole in the wall? TROOPER: Could. LYTTON: Then we attack on two fronts. [SCENE_BREAK] DAVROS: My army continues to grow. [SCENE_BREAK] STYLES: I think I'm making progress. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Have the soldiers from the warehouse been duplicated? STIEN: Yes. DOCTOR: It's very clever. Would you care to tell me how it's done? STIEN: No. DOCTOR: Hmm, I thought not. What about Tegan? STIEN: She is our prisoner. DOCTOR: She's harmless. You must release her. DALEK: Show him. DOCTOR: Why? STIEN: The Doctor without his companions would be rather incongruous. DOCTOR: Why are you doing this? DALEK: Your duplicates will return to Gallifrey, where, at our command, you will assassinate the members of the High Council. DOCTOR: No! [SCENE_BREAK] MERCER: We must do something. TURLOUGH: With only one gun? They'd kill us. MERCER: I have to do something. TURLOUGH: Think about what's happening. The Daleks have a ship, so why are their Troopers trying to break into the self-destruct chamber? Why don't they leave, let your friends blow themselves to pieces? MERCER: Tell me. TURLOUGH: Because whatever the Daleks want is still on board. MERCER: Davros? TURLOUGH: You may not be able to help your friends, but you could still kill him. [SCENE_BREAK] DALEK: We have been sent by the Supreme Dalek. DALEK 2: We are to assist in your research. DAVROS: I need Dalek tissue, not help. DALEK: You may remove tissue from us. DAVROS: Excellent. In no way will my experiment harm you. DALEK: Releasing docking clamp. DAVROS: In fact, you will become considerably invigorated. DAVROS: Perfect. Reseal your casings. Now, who do you obey? DALEKS: We obey Davros. He is our master. DAVROS: Excellent. Now all I require is a sample of the Movellan virus. Find out the cause of the delay. [SCENE_BREAK] BLACK: Order a cylinder of Movellan virus to be transported from Earth. DALEK: I obey. [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH: We're too late. MERCER: He can't be far. TURLOUGH: We could spend hours searching for him and still not find him, and the place is crawling with Daleks. MERCER: I have to find him. And you're coming with me. [SCENE_BREAK] STIEN: Nearly ready. DALEK: The prisoner is secured. You must proceed alone. We have been summoned to other duties. DOCTOR: Not staying till the bitter end? How disappointing. DALEK: When it is time to die, you will, in your agony, beg to pay homage to the Daleks. You will wait outside. DOCTOR: Why do they take themselves so seriously? STIEN: I warned you not to provoke them. You only make it worse for yourself. DOCTOR: Get on with it. I can do without your pity. STIEN: Do you think I do this because I enjoy ... Do you think I do this out of ch-ch-ch-choice? D-d-do I have a ch-choice? I have no choice. [SCENE_BREAK] DALEK: Take the cylinder to Davros. [SCENE_BREAK] MERCER: Of course. Davros is using Styles' laboratory. [SCENE_BREAK] STYLES: We're nearly there. Why am I so excited? It'll be the last thing I ever do. [SCENE_BREAK] DAVROS: Perfect. I have but one more request. I require your cooperation for a little longer. DAVROS: A spirited but foolish reaction. He will make an excellent slave. And so will you. [SCENE_BREAK] LAIRD: One of the cylinders disappeared! ARCHER: Where is she? Where is she? She won't get far. [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: Hey! TEGAN: No! [SCENE_BREAK] STIEN: Are you ready? DOCTOR: You ask it as though I have a choice. STIEN: Everyone has a ch-choice. It's in the Constitution, twenty fifth Amendment, or is it twenty sixth? Didn't you go to school? DOCTOR: I must have played truant that day. Or maybe we didn't go to the same school. Which school did you go to? STIEN: I, I, c-can't remember. DOCTOR: But you remember one of the Amendments. What was the First? It's very important I know. It's very important you remember, too. Think, man. Search the area of your mind the Daleks have shut off. Resist, before it's too late. STIEN: I must continue. DOCTOR: Resist! STIEN: I must continue. [SCENE_BREAK] ZENA: They're bypassing the door mechanism. STYLES: You've got to hold them. I'm almost there. [SCENE_BREAK] LYTTON: Stand by. [SCENE_BREAK] STYLES: That's it. [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH: There's nothing you can do. MERCER: I shouldn't have left them. TURLOUGH: You did the right thing. It's now up to you. We have to get back to Earth. Trust me. [SCENE_BREAK] TROOPER: Just in time. DALEK: Your delay put the Dalek plan at risk. LYTTON: We won. That's all that matters. DALEK: The space station could have been destroyed. I must report this to the Supreme Dalek. [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: I'm sorry. I tried. LAIRD: They're going to send us to the Dalek ship. ARCHER: Get them into the Time Corridor. LAIRD: No! ARCHER: Into the Time Corridor with her. [SCENE_BREAK] STIEN: Relax, Doctor, don't fight it. You'll only cause yourself pain. I know how you feel. The pain will pass. You must relax. DOCTOR: Quickly, recite the Amendments. Remember your past. STIEN: I must do my duty. DOCTOR: You must resist. You're destroying my mind. [SCENE_BREAK] KISTON: The Daleks have secured the self-destruct chamber. The station is safe. DAVROS: Excellent. KISTON: And the Daleks have taken the Doctor prisoner. DAVROS: Better still. He must be brought to me at once. Hurry. There is important work to do. I have waited a long time for this. Once the Doctor is exterminated, I shall build a new race of Daleks. They will be even more deadly, and I, Davros, shall be their leader! This time we shall triumph! My Daleks shall once more become the Supreme Beings! [SCENE_BREAK] MERCER: Hey! [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH: What are you doing? MERCER: She was about to scream. TURLOUGH: It's Tegan, you fool. She's a friend. TEGAN: Turlough. Who is this? MERCER: Never mind that. We must get away before the Daleks arrive. TEGAN: Not without the Doctor. TURLOUGH: He's here? TEGAN: Look behind you. TEGAN: We must find him. [SCENE_BREAK] STIEN: I can't stand the confusion in my mind! DOCTOR: Quickly, release me. STEIN: What about the guards? DOCTOR: We'll call them in here. [SCENE_BREAK] DAVROS: You must secure the TARDIS for me. Take the Troopers. DALEKS: We obey. [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH: In here. [SCENE_BREAK] STIEN: Now what? The Dalek conditioning could c-cloud my mind at any minute. DOCTOR: You'll be safe in the TARDIS. STIEN: You don't understand. Under the Dalek influence I could kill you. DOCTOR: I'll take that chance. TEGAN: Doctor! STIEN: Come on, move. Over there. DOCTOR: Well, don't just stand there. Come and help. [SCENE_BREAK] BLACK: The Doctor is free. Your Troopers have failed. LYTTON: More to the point, where were your Daleks? LYTTON: This is Lytton. Call out my Special Guard. [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH: Doctor, look. We should get out of here. DOCTOR: Quickly. Come on. [SCENE_BREAK] BLACK: Lytton grows too arrogant. His mind resists our control. He must be exterminated as soon as it is convenient to the Daleks. [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: Where are we going? DOCTOR: Earth. TURLOUGH: Best news all day. DOCTOR: Why did the Daleks rescue Davros? STIEN: They wanted a cure for a virus that was destroying them. TEGAN: Is that what's in those cylinders on Earth? STIEN: Yes. TEGAN: Why Earth? STIEN: They were safer there, and they acted as a lure. With the Bomb Disposal Squad duplicated, the Daleks had people to guard the warehouse who wouldn't arouse suspicion. TEGAN: Very neat. STIEN: Oh yes, the Daleks haven't lost any of their old guile. TEGAN: Where are you going? DOCTOR: To kill Davros. TEGAN: Doctor! DOCTOR: I must. Davros created the Daleks. He must not be allowed to save them. TEGAN: But murder? DOCTOR: Once before I held back from destroying the Daleks. It was a mistake I do not intend to repeat. Davros must die. MERCER: I'm coming with you. DOCTOR: No. MERCER: I can show you where he is. STIEN: I'm coming too. I wouldn't mind a taste of revenge. DOCTOR: All right. (to Tegan) Wait as long as you can, but should the Daleks attack, you leave at once. TEGAN: What about you? [SCENE_BREAK] DAVROS: Could this be the Doctor? KISTON: The prisoner is certainly important. The one on the left is Stien, a member of Lytton's Special Guard. He wouldn't be assigned to escort duties otherwise. DAVROS: The Doctor and his TARDIS. Perfect! [SCENE_BREAK] LYTTON: Lytton. BLACK (OOV.): Davros has gained control of two Daleks. They are in the Reception area, attempting to enter the Doctor's TARDIS. You must exterminate them. LYTTON: At once. BLACK (OOV.): You must also destroy Davros. He is unreliable. He cannot be trusted. LYTTON: Take two men and kill Davros. [SCENE_BREAK] DAVROS: Welcome, Doctor. I have waited many years for this meeting. DOCTOR: I'm sorry to have detained you. DAVROS: It was but a pleasure deferred. Now you are here, you will repay tenfold for the mental agony I suffered. DOCTOR: I'll say one thing for you, Davros. Your conversation is totally predictable. You're like a deranged child, all this talk of killing, revenge and destruction. DAVROS: It is the only path to ultimate power. DOCTOR: But to what end? Just more suffering for those unlucky enough to survive? DAVROS: Only for those who resist my will. DAVROS: What are you doing? DOCTOR: Until I walked through that door, I foolishly hoped you'd changed enough for me not to have to do this. DAVROS: Stien, kill him! DOCTOR: I'm not here as your prisoner, Davros, but your executioner. DAVROS: Listen to me. You, in your way, are not an unambitious man. Like me, you are a renegade. DOCTOR: Save your breath. DAVROS: I had planned to completely redesign the Daleks. Kiston will confirm I am telling the truth. KISTON: It is so. DAVROS: My mistake was making them totally ruthless. It restricted their ability to cope with creatures who rely not only on logic, but instinct and intuition. That is a factor I wish to correct. DOCTOR: And compassion? Are they to be programmed for that? DAVROS: They will learn to recognise the strength that can be drawn from such an emotion. DOCTOR: But only to make the Daleks more efficient killers. DAVROS: To make them a more positive force. DOCTOR: For destruction! DAVROS: The universe is at war, Doctor. Name one planet whose history is not littered with atrocities and ambition for empire. It is a universal way of life. DOCTOR: Which I do not accept. DAVROS: Then you deny what is real. Join me. You will have total power at the head of a new Dalek army. STIEN: Doctor. DOCTOR: Outside. Deal with them. DOCTOR: To be honest, I wouldn't know what to do with an army. [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: What's that? TURLOUGH: The Doctor preset the controls on the timer. We're going to Earth. TEGAN: He didn't intend to return. TEGAN: What's happening? TURLOUGH: We're travelling down the Dalek's Time Corridor. We're being dragged back to the warehouse! [SCENE_BREAK] DAVROS: You hesitate, Doctor. If I were you, I would be dead. DOCTOR: I lack your practice, Davros. DAVROS: You are soft, like all Time Lords. You prefer to stand and watch. Action requires courage, something you lack. [SCENE_BREAK] STIEN: Don't argue. You're to report to Commander Lytton at once. MERCER: Perhaps I can convince you. STIEN: Did you have to? MERCER: Help me hide the bodies. Now what? STIEN: The Dalek conditioning, it's taking hold again. MERCER: You should have stayed in the TARDIS. TROOPER: Drop your guns! STIEN: It's all right, they're our Troopers. MERCER: They're Dalek Troopers. STIEN: Stay where you are. DOCTOR: No, no, you need medical attention. STIEN: I can't control my mind. I'm not safe. I caused Mercer's death. I've got to get away from here. DOCTOR: No, wait! Look, I can help you. STIEN: Don't try to follow me. I may cause your death. DOCTOR: I'm an imbecile. [SCENE_BREAK] BLACK (OOV.): Your Troopers have failed. Davros still lives. LYTTON: Then shoot the space station down. Kill everything on it. BLACK (OOV.): I must see him dead. I have dispatched Daleks to complete the task you failed. You must redeem yourself. You must destroy the Daleks of Davros. LYTTON: Where are they? BLACK (OOV.): You must follow them to Earth. You must exterminate them. [SCENE_BREAK] LYTTON: Let's go. [SCENE_BREAK] STIEN: This isn't any good. I've got to be more positive. Oh, more positive. Self-destruct. I must find the self-destruct chamber. [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH: This is lunacy. TEGAN: Be quiet. The soldiers might hear you. TURLOUGH: What's the point? We can't go back to the Dalek ship. TEGAN: The Doctor may get back. Some other opportunity may arise. I don't know! TURLOUGH: Absolute madness. TEGAN: The virus in those cylinders is the only effective thing we've got to fight the Daleks with. Now, come on. [SCENE_BREAK] DAVROS: Go, release the virus in the Dalek ship. [SCENE_BREAK] CALDER: Davros' Daleks? ARCHER: They are to be destroyed. It is the Supreme Dalek's order. DALEK: The TARDIS is not on this level. We must search elsewhere. ARCHER: Now! ARCHER: Behind you! [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH: Surely one's enough. TEGAN: We need another. TEGAN: All right. Let's get back to the TARDIS. [SCENE_BREAK] LYTTON: Take cover! [SCENE_BREAK] DALEK: We are ready to descend. BLACK (OOV.): Proceed. Everything in the warehouse must be exterminated, including Lytton and his Troopers. DALEKS: We obey. [SCENE_BREAK] DALEK: Stop. Exterminate. [SCENE_BREAK] DALEK: We must find the TARDIS. That is our prime mission. We must obey Davros. DALEK 2: What is happening? DALEK: We are being attacked. The Supreme Dalek wishes us destroyed. The invading Daleks must be exterminated. [SCENE_BREAK] BLACK: Daleks to the self-destruct chamber. A hostile has broken in. Emergency. Emergency! He must be stopped. [SCENE_BREAK] DALEK 3: We must find the traitors. The enemy of the Daleks must be destroyed. DALEK: We are not traitors. We serve our creator, Davros. DALEK 3: The Supreme Dalek is your ruler. He must be obeyed at all times. DALEK: Davros must be honoured. DALEK 3: He must be exterminated. Nothing must interfere with the true destiny of the Daleks! You must be exterminated! Exterminated! Exterminated! [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: Doctor! DOCTOR: Well done. TURLOUGH: She's been trying to open the cylinder. I warned her that she could start an epidemic if she released the virus. DOCTOR: The virus is only partial to Dalek. It would die once it's done its work. TEGAN: What's happening up on the next floor? DOCTOR: Lunch has arrived for our friend here. [SCENE_BREAK] DAVROS: My escape hatch is prepared. DAVROS: Now for the Daleks. DAVROS: I did not summon your assistance! DALEK: We are here to exterminate you. DAVROS: By whose order? DALEK 2: The Supreme Dalek. DAVROS: Exterminate me, and you abandon your lives without purpose. Join me, and I will make you rulers of the universe. DALEK 2: Malfunction. Emergency. DALEK: Malfunction. DAVROS: Your lives are over. DALEK 2: System failure. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Open the doors. [SCENE_BREAK] DALEK: What is happening? I cannot see. My vision is impaired. Emergency. LYTTON: They're dying. And so are you. [SCENE_BREAK] STIEN: Done it. I must rest. I'm tired. [SCENE_BREAK] DAVROS: The Daleks are dead. Long live the new Daleks! DAVROS: What is happening? No, no. It cannot be! I am not a Dalek! I cannot die. I am Davros! [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: It's over. TEGAN: It was horrible. DOCTOR: The Earth is safe, at least until the Daleks find an antidote for the Movellan virus. TURLOUGH: Doctor, look. BLACK (on scanner): You have not won, Doctor. DOCTOR: You won't be able to invade Earth. BLACK (on scanner): You forget, Doctor. Daleks do not need to invade. I have my duplicates. Some have already been placed in strategic positions around the planet. The collapse of Earth society will soon occur. DOCTOR: Your duplicates aren't stable. It won't work. BLACK (on scanner): The Daleks will triumph. We cannot fail. The Daleks' true destiny is to rule the universe. [SCENE_BREAK] STIEN: Hello, boys. Just in time for the fun. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: The Dalek ship has been destroyed. TURLOUGH: How? DOCTOR: The self-destruct device on the space station. TEGAN: Davros? DOCTOR: No, no. Stien, I would think. He must have finally decided which side he was on. [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH: Are you sure all the duplicates are unstable? DOCTOR: Oh, yes. Yes, given time they'll all be free of Dalek control. TURLOUGH: Shouldn't we inform Earth's authorities? DOCTOR: Er yes. Yes, indeed. Come along. TEGAN: I'm not coming with you. DOCTOR: I beg your pardon? TEGAN: I'm tired of it. DOCTOR: What's the matter? TEGAN: A lot of good people have died today. I think I'm sick of it. DOCTOR: You think I wanted it this way? TEGAN: No. It's just that I don't think I can go on. DOCTOR: You want to stay on Earth. TEGAN: My Aunt Vanessa said, when I became an air stewardess, if you stop enjoying it, give it up. DOCTOR: Tegan TEGAN: It's stopped being fun, Doctor. Goodbye. Turlough. TURLOUGH: Goodbye. TEGAN: I'll miss you both. DOCTOR: No, no, don't leave, not like this. TEGAN: I must. I'm sorry. Goodbye. DOCTOR: It's strange. I left Gallifrey for similar reasons. I'd grown tired of their lifestyle. It seems I must mend my ways. Come along. TEGAN: Brave heart, Tegan. Doctor, I will miss you.

The Daleks capture the Doctor and plan to duplicate him and his companions as part of their plan to attack the high Council of Gallifrey. Davros starts converting Daleks and their helpers over to his control.

fd_Frasier_08x02

fd_Frasier_08x02_0

Act 3 Scene 1 - Frasier's Apartment Fade in. Niles and Daphne are sitting on the couch, Frasier is on the arm of Martin's chair talking to them. Daphne: Explain to me again how you and Mel masquerading as husband and wife is a good thing? Niles: Well... Frasier: If I may? Uh, Daphne, it's basically to give Mel a little wiggle room so she can get out of this debacle with her dignity intact. Daphne reaches over and takes Niles' hand. Daphne: And what about Niles' dignity? Frasier: Well, Maris got that in the divorce. [laughing] Sorry, Niles. [rising] Would you like some sherry? Niles: Uh, yes, thanks. Frasier: Daphne? Daphne: [rising] Yeah, all right, I'll get your precious wedge of brie and your water crackers. Frasier: No, I meant would you like some sherry? Daphne: [stunned] Oh, love some, thanks. [She sits back down.] Niles: Listen, Daphne, I know this is all very awkward, but if it speeds up the divorce process and avoids the misery I went through with Maris, isn't it worth it? Daphne: Well, I... Niles: Oh, come on, Schnookums, we can get through this together. What do you say? Daphne: What did you just call me? Niles: Schnookums. Daphne: Schnookums... Niles: It was an attempt at a pet name. Daphne: Well, if it's all the same to you, can we keep looking? Niles: Absolutely, there's no rush whatsoever... Truffles. [an awkward pause] It's the chocolate, not the fungus. [another pause] It's a work in progress. Daphne: Yes. Frasier returns with the sherry. Frasier: Here we are. Niles: Thank you. Frasier: For you... here it is: To better days. For all of us. Daphne: Why, what happened to you? Frasier: Well, I went down to talk to Donny, try to convince him to drop his lawsuit against you. Instead, he's now suing me as well for the part I played in getting you two together. Daphne: Well, I am so sorry, Dr. Crane. This is turning into such a horrible mess! Not that I expected it to be a bed of roses, mind you, but it's gotten so you're wonder what God-awful calamity's going to befall us all next. Simon comes in the front door. Simon: Something smells in your elevator. Oh, now it smells in here, too. I'm beginning to think this is not such a ritzy building after all. He heads for the kitchen. Daphne: Did you get my wedding gifts down to the post? Simon: As we speak, they are winging their way towards their rightful owners. Daphne: Thank you, Simon. He returns with a beer and sits in Martin's chair. Simon: And in a totally unrelated matter, I am pleased to announce that the Winnebago is now fully equipped with a state of the art DVD, complete with surround sound. Daphne: I don't believe this! Simon: Tonight's feature is "Braveheart", starring Australia's favorite son, Mr. Mel Gibson. Showtime is at eight sharp, everyone is invited. Daphne: As tempting as that sounds, I have a date. Niles is taking me to dinner and dancing. At least this day will end on a high note. Niles: I guess I can't avoid telling you this any longer... Martin comes from his room. Martin: I just want you to know, I'm attending this wedding reception under protest. Daphne: Wedding reception? Niles: Thanks, Dad. Yeah, well, you know those social obligations I was talking about? One of them is tonight. Daphne: A wedding reception? For you and Mel? Niles: It's at the equestrian center. It's nothing major, it's very impromptu. Champagne, cake, we pet the horses, we're out of there by eleven! Daphne: But what about our... Frasier: Oh, gosh, Niles, look at the time. I'm sorry Daphne, but we've got to get cross town in an hour. You better get home and get changed. Niles and Daphne stand up. Martin: Oh, don't forget to wear that watch Mel gave you. He and Frasier exit to the bedrooms. Daphne: Watch? Niles: Thanks again, Dad! I can explain that. I, I can explain everything. Tomorrow. It's just a twenty-four hour delay. [He heads for the door.] I switched all the reservations. Dining, dancing, everything. I promise I will make it up to you... pookie. [pause] Even I hate that one. He leaves. Daphne: But what about our date? She sits on the couch and begins to cry. Simon goes over to comfort her. Simon: Now, now, now, Daphne. Don't cry, don't cry. It's all right. This sounds like a job for Braveheart. Which just makes her cry harder. FADE OUT. MUCKING ABOUT WITH THE HORSEY SET Scene 2 - The Equestrian Center Fade in. Frasier and Martin are standing at the bar in the club area. Martin: Don't look now, but there's a guy over there in a bow tie who's been checking me out for the last twenty minutes. Frasier: Oh, one of Mel's colleagues. I met him earlier. Martin: What's he keep staring at me for? Frasier: Well, he's a plastic surgeon. Maybe he's looking at your eyelids and planning his next trip to Maui. Niles, over with Mel, lets out a very loud, forced laugh. Frasier: Good lord! Look at him, over-acting. Trying to convince everyone he's happily married. Have you ever seen anything so pathetic in your life? Martin: How 'bout you and Lilith? Frasier: It was a rhetorical question! CUT TO: Mel and Niles meeting with people. Niles: Thank you. Mel: Niles, I'd, I'd like you to meet Adrianna Pettibone. Niles: Hello. Mel: Adrianna stables General Prescott, our current grand champion right here at the Equestrian Club. Niles: Wonderful! Speaking of grand champions, how about this little filly, hmm? I didn't even have to check her teeth! Adrianna walks away with an odd look. Mel stares at Niles. Mel: What are you doing? Niles: I'm sorry, I'm a little nervous. Roz walks up, limping. Roz: Well, I'm here. Congratulations and all that BS, where's the bar? Niles: Roz, what are you doing here? Mel: I invited her. Your side of the guest list looked a little sparse. Roz: Well, forgive me if I'm not in the spirit of this - wink, wink - "happy occasion," but I'm in a very crappy mood. Niles: Are you limping? Roz: Yeah. I twisted my ankle on the stairs. You know how that happened? I couldn't find the shoes that went with this dress, so I had to wear these stupid three inch spikes. And the "check engine" light on my dash keeps coming on. Niles: What does that have to do with your ankle? Roz: Nothing, it just really ticks me off! The bar, the bar! [Niles and Mel both point.] Thank you! She limps off. Niles: That was so sweet of her to come. Mel: Niles, this is important. If anyone should ask about the honeymoon, we're flying to Paris, then we're taking the Orient Express to Venice, where we'll spend two weeks at the Monsarta Palazzetto suite at the Cipriani. Niles stares at her for a moment. Mel: What's the matter? Niles: Sounds like a wonderful trip. Mel: It's not my fault we're not going. Niles: I know. A photographer comes over. Photographer: Ah, here's the happy couple. All right, you two, show me those pearly whites. They pose for a shot. Photographer: All right, now how 'bout a kiss? Niles: All right, I hardly know you, but... He takes a step towards the photographer with a laugh, Mel puts her hand on his arm. Niles: Here we go. He kisses Mel on the cheek. Photographer: Come on, Doc, this is your wife, not mine. Niles: All right, well... He puts his arms around her and they kiss. Everyone makes an "Aww" sound and claps. Mel: Thank you. Niles: Yes, I'll, uh, I'll go check on Dad and Frasier. CUT TO: the bar, where Frasier is talking to a couple. Frasier: Yes, they do make a lovely couple. Woman: Don't they? I'm sure they'll be happy together for many years. Martin: Well, you never know. Frasier: Dad? Martin: Well, you don't, do you? I mean, I'm just saying you never know. Woman: No, I... guess you don't. Frasier: Lovely talking with you. Enjoy the party. The couple walks away. Frasier: What the hell's wrong with you? Martin: In a few weeks, I'm gonna look like a genius. Roz comes over to them. Roz: Well, I really feel stupid. I just came on to the guy in the tux. They really should make waiters wear name tags. Frasier: Oh, yes, Roz. Carrying trays and taking drink orders leaves so much room for ambiguity. Roz: Shut up! Niles comes up. Niles: Well, well, I think it's going pretty well. Don't you? You think anyone's suspicious? Martin: No, no. It's the greatest phony reception I've ever been to. So, how you holdin' up, son? Niles: Oh, well, if I have to stretch my muscles into a smile one more time, I think my face may crack... Mel: Niles? Niles: [smiling big] Yes, Darling! Mel: It's time to cut the cake, so why don't you just gather everyone around? Niles: OK. Mel: All right. [He moves off, she turns to Martin.] Um, excuse me, I need to borrow Frasier for just one moment. Martin: Sure. Martin and Roz move off. Mel: Uh, Frasier, I had an interesting little phone call from Donny this afternoon. Frasier: Oh? Mel: Yes, he said you'd been by to see him earlier today. Frasier: I may have done so. Mel: Yes, he said you were a busy little bee before the wedding. First buzzing in Niles' ear, and then you were buzzing in Daphne's ear... Frasier: Let me explain Mel. You see... Mel: Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz... Frasier: Just stop that, please! Mel: You see, I've been torturing myself trying to figure out how this all happened so quickly, and now I know. I won't forget about this. She walks away and Martin returns. Martin: What was that all about? Frasier: Donny talked to Mel. Martin: Told you not to go down there. Frasier: Oh, just stop that! Mel clinks a spoon against a glass, calling for silence. Mel: Attention everyone! Before we cut the cake, Niles' brother, Frasier, would like to make a toast in our honor. Martin: I didn't know you were doin' this. Frasier: Neither did I. He gets a glass of champagne and composes himself. Frasier: Well, ah... Love...is an awesome force. It can make us do things we never imagined possible. For you see, we don't actually choose love, it chooses us. And once it has, we are powerless to do anything about it. Ladies and gentlemen, raise your glasses with me in toasting my brother... and the love of his life. Mel understands what Frasier is doing, and hides her fury. Frasier: For she is truly the woman of his dreams, and my father and I could not be more thrilled with his choice. To the happy couple! Everyone makes "Hear, hear" comments and drinks. Niles begins cutting the cake. Mel: Well, wasn't that clever of your brother? It's only too bad your little English muffin couldn't be here to enjoy it as well. Which reminds me: you do realize that while we are pretending to be married, you absolutely cannot be seen in public with Daphne? Niles: I, I... She cuts him off by shoving the piece of cake in his mouth. Mel: I love you too, honey! She turns and smiles for the photographer. FADE OUT. End of Act 3 Act 4 ACTUALLY A GOAT GOT MOST OF THE HOT DOG Scene 1 - Frasier's Apartment Fade in. Simon comes through the front door. Simon: Hello? Hello, is anybody home? Martin: [from the kitchen] Hey, Simon. Just making coffee, you want some? Simon: [lying down on the couch] Ahh, I was thinking of something colder with a bit more of an amber hue. Martin: Beer? Simon: Brilliant! if you aren't the finest detective in Seattle, I am the Prince of Wales. Martin: How did Eddie like his walk? Simon looks around nervously and gets up. Simon: The little nipper loved it. I think nature's callin' him again. His bladder's worse than mine. I'll be back in a flash. He leaves. Martin comes in and sits in his chair as Frasier enters from the bedrooms, putting his tie on. Frasier: Was that Simon's voice I heard just now? Martin: Yeah, he just took Eddie on a walk for me. Frasier: Well, it's about time that chowder made himself useful. Martin: Ah, don't be so hard on him. He tries. [SCENE_BREAK] The doorbell rings. Frasier: Yes, well, if you're talking about my patience, he certainly does. He opens the door to reveal Niles. Frasier: Ah, Niles, come on in. Niles: Frasier. Oh, hey Dad, about a block from here, I saw a dog that looked remarkably like Eddie tied up outside a bar. Martin: Impossible, he was just here. Niles: [sitting on the couch] Oh. So, uh, did you say anything to her? Frasier: No, no, you told us not to. Martin: You want us out of here when you drop the hammer? Niles: No, I think I'll be safer with witnesses. Daphne comes from her room. Daphne: Niles. I didn't hear you come in. Niles: [rising] I just got here. Daphne: Hey. Niles: Hey. He goes to her. They lean to kiss each other, but again are uncomfortable with the others watching, so they kiss on the side of the mouth. Niles: How are you today? They go to sit on the couch. Frasier sits at the dining table. Daphne: Wonderful. I realize that postponing our date one day doesn't really amount to much in the great scheme of things. So how was your wedding reception? Niles: Oh, it was your average night in hell. Daphne: Well, that's behind us, now. We have a wonderful evening to look forward to. I bought a new dress. It's much too expensive, but you're worth it. And I'm getting me hair done and me... [to Frasier] Why are you looking at each other like that? Frasier: We're not looking at each other like that. Like what? What, like anything. Martin: Uh-uh. Daphne: Yes you were. Those darting little glances mean something's up. Niles? Niles: About tonight... Daphne: I hate the way this is starting. Niles: Mel feels that as long as she and I are acting to be married, you and I can't be seen together in public. So that means... Daphne: I know what that means. Niles: But it's just until the divorce. Daphne: Whenever that bloody is. Niles: Daphne... Daphne: If you'll excuse me, I have a splitting headache. She gets up and heads for her room, Niles following. Frasier gets up and moves over to the couch to be out of the way. Niles: You know, if you look at it from Mel's point of view, it really does make a lot of sense. Daphne stops and slowly turns around. Frasier: He came so close. Daphne: What did you say? Niles: I said "Damn that Mel!" Daphne: No you didn't. You should have, but you didn't. It sounded to me like you were taking her side. Niles: All right, all right. Can we just turn the clock back two minutes and pretend this conversation never happened? Daphne: Why don't we just it back to ten minutes before my wedding and save everybody all this trouble? She heads back to her room. Niles: What are you saying? Daphne: [stopping again without turning] What do you think I'm saying? Niles: It sounds like you're saying you're sorry you did this. Daphne: [turning to him] Maybe that's what I'm saying. Martin: Oh, boy. Frasier: Now listen, before anyone says something they'll regret... Daphne: Butt out! If you hadn't opened your big mouth we wouldn't be in this mess! Donny wouldn't be suing me and everyone else in sight and I wouldn't be out two weeks salary for a dress I'm apparently never going to wear, [to Niles] and you wouldn't be kowtowing to that shrew of a wife of yours! Frasier: This is all my fault?! Niles: Oh shut up, Frasier! The only thing more hollow than your protest of innocence is your big fat head! Frasier: I AM WOUNDED! I intervened only out of love for the two people who are most important to... Daphne: Oh, put a sock in it! I am sick and tired of listening to you yammering on about everything under the sun! Niles: Daphne... Daphne: And I'm sick of listening to you, too. You got anything to say, old man?! Martin, wide-eyed, says nothing and holds his hands up placatingly. Daphne: Good! She storms off to her room. Frasier: I'm waiting! Niles: For what? Frasier: An apology. For that unprovoked broadside you leveled at me. Niles: You expect me to apologize to you? Frasier: Expect it, sir, and demand it! Niles: Well, then, here's my answer: No! Frasier: No?! Niles: [heading for the door] No! And furthermore, why don't you take your broadside, stuff it in a chair, and keep your unlimited supply of opinions, suggestions, proposals and recommendations to yourself?! Frasier: Well, I never! Niles: No, you always! Frasier: GET OUT! Niles leaves, slamming the door. Martin: [rising] How's a corned beef sandwich sound? Frasier: I am appalled! Martin: Well, no problem, there's some smoked turkey in here, too. He goes into the kitchen. Reset to: the kitchen as he enters. He goes to the refrigerator and starts pulling things out. Frasier comes in. Frasier: What is my offense? What egregious sin have I committed, that I should be so maligned? Was I to just sit idly by and watch these two misguided souls embark on doomed relationships? Would they have thanked me for that? Not very likely, I dare say. Martin: Who moved the mustard? Frasier: Top shelf, door. Martin: Bingo. Frasier: And then, when they were perched on the very brink of disaster, I snatched them from the gaping maw and placed them gently into one another's arms. But am I accorded a hero's welcome for my troubles? Am I hoisted on their shoulders and paraded about the room? Martin turns and hands him a jar. Martin: I don't have my glasses, what's the expiration date? Frasier: Last week. Martin: I'll chance it. Frasier: No! Those two ingrates turn on me like vipers, and make me the villain of the piece. Well, hear me now, this day forward, Frasier Crane will not interfere with those two! This is it! Finished, finito! Non quam postea! [N.B. Latin, "never again"] Martin: Uh-huh. Frasier: I know I've made declarations like this before, but I tell you what, Dad, you mark the calendar! You note the time on your watch! [points to his own] This - Is - It! Martin: Well, if you figure out a way to get them back together, I'll be in my room if you need any help. He leaves. Frasier: Have you been listening to me? Martin: [from the living room] Well, I tried not to, but some of it still got through. Frasier starts putting everything away. Daphne comes into the kitchen. Daphne: Hello, Dr. Crane. Frasier: Daphne. Daphne: Making yourself a sandwich? Frasier: No, Dad did. Daphne: Hope he didn't use the mayonnaise, I meant to throw it out. Frasier: I've seen him eat worse. Daphne: I'll say. Remember when he dropped his hot dog at the petting zoo? Frasier wipes down the counter. Daphne: Oh, Dr. Crane, I'm so sorry I said those things about you! I didn't mean them. Frasier: Oh, I know, Daphne. Come here. They hug. Daphne: I guess this all finally came crashing down on me. Frasier: Yes, I know. It's perfectly understandable. Listen, I know you can't go out on your date with Niles tonight, but what's to stop two friends from going out to dinner? My treat, you can even wear that new dress of yours. Daphne: Thank you. That's a lovely offer, but I, I think I'll just stay home tonight, have a quiet night. Frasier: I understand. Daphne: Thank you. They exit. Reset to: the living room as they come out. Frasier: Sure you won't change your mind? Daphne: Positive. Simon comes in with Eddie. Simon: Hello, all. My furry friend and I have just concluded our daily constitutional, with young Edward here dropping a few amendments along the way. So what's on the docket tonight, eh? Frasier puts on his coat, gets his briefcase and goes to the door. Daphne: All I want is a quiet night at home. Simon: [lying on the couch] Oh, Stilts, you and I are of one mind. I'll hoist a beer while you get dinner started, and then when our bellies are full and you've done the dishes, we will adjourn to the Winnebago where Mr. Jean Claude van Damme, the "Muscles from Brussels", will ply his trade against the forces of evil. Frasier: Ready at eight? Daphne: Make it seven-thirty. Frasier leaves. FADE OUT. Scene 2 - Frasier's Apartment Fade in. Martin and Niles are leaving the apartment to the hallway. Niles: Good idea, Dad. An evening out, just the two of us. I had no idea you enjoyed the Natural History Museum. Martin hits the button for the elevator. Martin: Oh, sure. And that documentary on the rain forest is supposed to be great. Niles: That's what I hear. Martin: Hope it has pygmies, I like pygmies. Niles: I know you do. So, where's um... Martin: Oh, she went out with Frasier to a restaurant for dinner. Niles: Oh. She happen to ask about...? Martin: Sorry. The elevator arrives and they get in. Reset to: the interior of the elevator. Martin pushes a button and they start moving. Niles: Dad, we're going up. Martin: Oh, oh, I'm sorry. Well, we'll just have to take the long way. They ride up for a beat. Niles begins to get suspicious. Niles: Why do you like pygmies so much? Martin: They're short and they blow darts. What's not to like? CUT TO: the roof of the Elliot Bay Towers. Martin comes out the access door. Martin: Come on, come on up here. Niles: What could possibly be so important for me to see up here? Martin: The guy in 1708 got some homing pigeons. He built a coop up here for them. Niles: [coming up] Pigeons? I don't like pigeons, they have no respect for public art. Martin: Trust me, you're gonna like this. Niles: Dad, I don't think I handled things very well today. Do you think Daphne will ever forgive me? Martin: Why don't you ask her for yourself? Niles leans past the door to see Daphne. She is sitting at a table set up for a dinner. There are candles all around. Frasier pours the champagne, then starts some music. Frasier: Your table is ready, sir. Niles: You look stunning. Daphne: Thank you. You look dashing. Frasier: [holding a chair for Niles to sit] I trust this will be to your liking? Niles: Everything is to my liking. Daphne: Looks like we're having that first date after all. Niles: You went to so much trouble! Daphne: It wasn't me, it was your brother. Frasier: Well, you know me, I hate to butt in. Niles: Oh... Frasier: I had planned to take Daphne to dinner, when suddenly inspiration struck. Since you two couldn't go to Au Pied du Cochon this evening, my faithful companion [Martin bows.] and I would bring it to you courtesy of their caterer. If dancing at the Starlight Room was impossible, we'd give you the real thing. Daphne: It's all so overwhelming. Niles: Frasier, Dad, I don't know what to say. You even got that man to move his pigeons. Martin: There were no pigeons. Niles: Ohhh... Daphne: How can we ever thank you two? Frasier: Just have a beautiful evening. Niles: I think we can do that. And Frasier, listen... Martin and Frasier head for the door. Frasier: Apology accepted, Niles. Oh, just remember to give the lingonberry sauce a little stir... Martin: They can figure it out. Frasier: Right. He follows Martin inside. Niles: Daphne, about today... Daphne: Let's just forget about that. Why don't we start from here? Niles: I would love that. To us! Daphne: To us. They touch glasses and drink, then they lean in and kiss. Daphne: I'm usually so nervous on a first date. But not tonight. Niles: Would you like to dance? Daphne: I'd love to. They get up and start dancing. Slowly the camera rises from the room and backdrops them against the Seattle night. Niles: So where you from? Daphne: Manchester, England. Niles: Oh, my. Big family? Daphne: Hideously. And you? Niles: I'm from a small mountain village in Tibet. She laughs. Niles: Tenzing Norgay used to carry me to school. She laughs again. Niles: You know what I've always wondered? Daphne: I think I can guess. Niles: Yeah... [SCENE_BREAK] Simon comes up to the roof and sits at the table, tucking a napkin into his collar. He scrapes the leftover food onto one plate and pours the champagne into one glass. He polishes a fork on his shirt and finishes off the champagne in one drink.

Daphne considers dumping Niles after Donny and Mel's plotting stresses her out. Fortunately, Frasier comes to the lovers' aid once again.

fd_Game_of_Thrones_01x02

fd_Game_of_Thrones_01x02_0

( Cawing ) There was a raven from King's Landing. Jon Arryn is dead. The King rides for Winterfell with the Queen and all the rest of them. The Queen has two brothers? There's the pretty one, and there's the clever one. I would name you the Hand of the King. We were meant to rule together. I have a son, you have a daughter. We'll join our houses. The boy I beheaded ... he was talking madness. Said the others slaughtered his friends. Ned: A Wildling ambush. Maybe. You're Tyrion Lannister. You ... you're Ned Stark's b*st*rd, aren't you? Let me give you some advice, b*st*rd. Never forget what you are and it can never be used to hurt you. It's a direwolf. There are no direwolves south of the wall. Now there are five, one for each of the Stark children. What about you? I'm not a Stark. That one's yours, Snow. May I present Viserys of House Targaryen, the rightful King of the Andals, and his sister Daenerys? I don't want to be his queen. I want to go home. We go home with an army ... with Khal Drogo's army. From your sister. She says Jon Arryn was murdered by the Lannisters. She says the King is in danger. What if Jon Arryn told someone? Whatever Jon Arryn knew died with him. The things I do for love. Game of Thrones 1x02 The Kingsroad Original Air Date on April 24, 2011 [SCENE_BREAK] Jorah Mormont : You need to drink, child. And eat. Daenerys Targaryen : Isn't there anything else ? Jorah Mormont : The Dothraki have two things in abundance : grass and horses. People can't live on grass. In the Shadow Lands beyond Asshai, they say there are fields of ghost grass with stalks as pale as milk that glow in the night. It murders all other grass. The Dothraki believe that one day it will cover everything. That's the way the world will end. It'll get easier. Doreah : Khaleesi ! Irri : Your hands. Jorah Mormont : We're still not far from Pentos, your Grace. Magister Illyrio has extended his hospitality. You'd be more comfortable there. Viserys Targaryen : I have no interest in hospitality or comfort. I'll stay with Drogo until he fulfils his end of the bargain and I have my crown. Jorah Mormont : As you wish, your Grace. Viserys Targaryen : Well, Mormont, as brutish as this life is, I suppose it is preferable to beheading. What did Ned Stark want you for ? Buying from a slaver ? Jorah Mormont : Selling to one... Some poachers I caught on my land. Viserys Targaryen : Under my reign, you won't be punished for such nonsense. You can rest assured of that. Joffrey Baratheon : Better-looking bitches than you're used to, Uncle. My mother's been looking for you. We ride for King's Landing today. Tyrion Lannister : Before you go, you will call on Lord and Lady Stark and offer your sympathies. Joffrey Baratheon : What good will my sympathies do them ? Tyrion Lannister : None. But it is expected of you. Your absence has already been noted. Joffrey Baratheon : The boy means nothing to me. And I can't stand the wailing of women. Tyrion Lannister : One word and I'll hit you again. Joffrey Baratheon : I'm telling mother ! Tyrion Lannister : Go ! Tell her. But first you will get to Lord and Lady Stark and you will fall on your knees in front of them and tell them how very sorry you are, that you are at their service, and that all your prayers are with them. Do you understand ? Joffrey Baratheon : You can't... Tyrion Lannister : Do you understand ? Sandor Clegane : The Prince will remember that, little lord. Tyrion Lannister : I hope so. If he forgets, be a good dog and remind him. Time for breakfast. Bread. And two of those little fish. And a mug of dark beer to wash it down. And bacon, burned black. Jaime Lannister : Little brother. Tyrion Lannister : Beloved siblings. Myrcella Baratheon : Is Bran going to die ? Tyrion Lannister : Apparently not. Cersei Baratheon : What do you mean ? Tyrion Lannister : The Maester says the boy may live. Cersei Baratheon : It's no mercy, letting a child linger in such pain. Tyrion Lannister : Only the gods know for certain. All the rest of us can do is pray. The charms of the north seem entirely lost on you. Cersei Baratheon : I still can't believe you're going. It's ridiculous even for you. Tyrion Lannister : Where's your sense of wonder ? The greatest structure ever built, the intrepid men of the Night's Watch, the wintry abode of the White Walkers. Jaime Lannister : Tell me you're not thinking of taking the black. Tyrion Lannister : And go celibate ? The whores would go begging from Dorne to Casterly Rock. I just want to stand on top of the Wall and piss off the edge of the world. Cersei Baratheon : The children don't need to hear your filth. Come. Jaime Lannister : Even if the boy lives, he'll be a cripple, a grotesque. Give me a good clean death any day. Tyrion Lannister : Speaking for the grotesques, I'd have to disagree. Death is so final, whereas life... Life is full of possibilities. I hope the boy does wake. I'd be very interested to hear what he has to say. Jaime Lannister : My dear brother, there are times you make me wonder whose side you're on. Tyrion Lannister : My dear brother, you wound me. You know how much I love my family. Cersei Baratheon : Please. Catelyn Stark : I would have dressed, your Grace. Cersei Baratheon : This is your home. I'm your guest. Handsome one, isn't he ? I lost my first boy, a little black-haired beauty. He was a fighter too... Tried to beat the fever that took him. Forgive me. It's the last thing you need to hear right now. Catelyn Stark : I never knew. Cersei Baratheon : It was years ago. Robert was crazed, beat his hands bloody on the wall, all the things men do to show you how much they care. The boy looked just like him. Such a little thing... A bird without feathers. They came to take his body away and Robert held me. I screamed and I battled, but he held me. That little bundle. They took him away and I never saw him again. Never have visited the crypt, never. I pray to the Mother every morning and night that she return your child to you. Catelyn Stark : I am grateful. Cersei Baratheon : Perhaps this time she'll listen. Jaime Lannister : A sword for the wall ? Jon Snow : I already have one. Jaime Lannister : Good man. Have you swung it yet ? Jon Snow : Of course I have. Jaime Lannister : At someone, I mean. It's a strange thing, the first time you cut a man. You realize we're nothing but sacks of meat and blood and some bone to keep it all standing. Let me thank you ahead of time for guarding us all from the perils beyond the Wall... Wildlings and White Walkers and whatnot. We're grateful to have good, strong men like you protecting us. Jon Snow : We've guarded the kingdoms for 8 000 years. Jaime Lannister : Is it "we" already ? Have you taken your vows then ? Jon Snow : Soon enough. Jaime Lannister : Give my regards to the Night's Watch. I'm sure it will be thrilling to serve in such an elite force. And if not ? It's only for life. Arya Stark : Thank you, Nymeria. Septa Mordane says I have to do it again. My things weren't properly folded, she says. Who cares how they're folded ?! They're going to get all messed up anyway. Jon Snow : It's good you've got help. Arya Stark : Watch. Nymeria, gloves. Jon Snow : Impressive. Arya Stark : Shut up. Nymeria, gloves ! Jon Snow : I have something for you. And it has to be packed very carefully. Arya Stark : A present ? Jon Snow : Close the door. This is no toy. Be careful you don't cut yourself. Arya Stark : It's so skinny. Jon Snow : So are you. I had the blacksmith make it for you special. It won't hack a man's head off, but it can poke him full of holes if you're quick enough. Arya Stark : I can be quick. Jon Snow : You'll have to work at it every day. How does it feel ? Do you like the balance ? Arya Stark : I think so. Jon Snow : First lesson: Stick them with the pointy end. Arya Stark : I know which end to use. Jon Snow : I'm going to miss you. Careful. All the best swords have names, you know. Arya Stark : Sansa can keep her sewing needles. I've got a needle of my own. Jon Snow : I came to say goodbye to Bran. Catelyn Stark : You've said it. Jon Snow : I wish I could be here when you wake up. I'm going north with Uncle Benjen. I'm taking the black. I know we always talked about seeing the Wall together, but you'll be able to come visit me at Castle Black when you're better. I'll know my way around by then. I'll be a sworn brother of the Night's Watch. We can go out walking beyond the Wall, if you're not afraid. Catelyn Stark : I want you to leave. 17 years ago you rode off with Robert Baratheon. You came back a year later with another woman's son. And now you're leaving again. Eddard Stark : I have no choice. Catelyn Stark : That's what men always say when honor calls. That's what you tell your families, tell yourselves. You do have a choice. And you've made it. I can't do it, Ned. I really can't. Eddard Stark : You can. You must. Robb Stark : You've said goodbye to Bran ? He's not going to die. I know it. Jon Snow : You Starks are hard to kill. Robb Stark : My mother ? Jon Snow : She was very kind. Robb Stark : Good. Next time I see you, you'll be all in black. Jon Snow : It was always my color. Robb Stark : Farewell, Snow. Jon Snow : And you, Stark. Eddard Stark : There's great honor serving in the Night's Watch. The Starks have manned the Wall for thousands of years. And you are a Stark. You might not have my name, but you have my blood. Jon Snow : Is my mother alive ? Does she know about me ? Where I am, where I'm going ? Does she care ? Eddard Stark : The next time we see each other, we'll talk about your mother. I promise. Robert Baratheon : Gods, this is country ! I've half a mind to leave them all behind and keep going. Eddard Stark : I've half a mind to go with you. Robert Baratheon : What do you say, just you and me on the Kingsroad, swords at our sides, a couple of tavern wenches to warm our beds tonight. Eddard Stark : You should have asked me 20 years ago. Robert Baratheon : There were wars to fight, women to marry... We never had the chance to be young. Eddard Stark : I recall a few chances. Robert Baratheon : There was that one... Oh, what was her name ? That common girl of yours ? Becca ? With the great big tits you could bury your face in. Eddard Stark : Bessie. She was one of yours. Robert Baratheon : Bessie ! Thank the gods for Bessie and her tits. Yours was... Aleena ? No. You told me once. Meryl ? Your b*st*rd's mother ? Eddard Stark : Wylla. Robert Baratheon : That's it. She must have been a rare wench to make Lord Eddard Stark forget his honor. You never told me what she looked like. Eddard Stark : Nor will I. Robert Baratheon : We were at war. None of us knew if we were gonna go back home again. You're too hard on yourself. You always have been. I swear if I weren't your King, you'd have hit me already. Eddard Stark : The worst thing about your coronation... I'll never get to hit you again. Robert Baratheon : Trust me, that's not the worst thing. There was a rider in the night. Eddard Stark : Daenerys Targaryen has wed some Dothraki horselord. What of it ? Should we send her a wedding gift ? Robert Baratheon : A knife perhaps, a good sharp one, and a bold man to wield it. Eddard Stark : She's little more than a child. Robert Baratheon : Soon enough that child will spread her legs and start breeding. Eddard Stark : Tell me we're not speaking of this. Robert Baratheon : Oh, it's unspeakable to you ? What her father did to your family... That was unspeakable. What Rhaegar Targaryen did to your sister... the woman I loved. I'll kill every Targaryen I get my hands on. Eddard Stark : But you can't get your hands on this one, can you ? Robert Baratheon : This Khal Drogo, it's said he has 100 000 men in his horde. Eddard Stark : Even a million Dothraki are no threat to the realm, as long as they remain on the other side of the Narrow Sea. They have no ships, Robert. Robert Baratheon : There are still those in the Seven Kingdoms who call me Usurper. If the Targaryen boy crosses with a Dothraki horde at his back, the scum will join him. Eddard Stark : He will not cross. And if by chance he does, we'll throw him back into the sea. Robert Baratheon : There's a war coming, Ned. I don't know when, I don't know who we'll be fighting, but it's coming. [SCENE_BREAK] Benjen Stark : Sit. You'll be fed. Untie them. Tyrion Lannister : Rapers. They were given a choice no doubt... Castration or the Wall. Most choose the knife. Not impressed by your new brothers ? Lovely thing about the Watch... You discard your old family and get a whole new one. Jon Snow : Why do you read so much ? Tyrion Lannister : Look at me and tell me what you see. Jon Snow : Is this a trick ? Tyrion Lannister : What you see is a dwarf. If I'd been born a peasant they might've left me out in the woods to die. Alas, I was born a Lannister of Casterly Rock. Things are expected of me. My father was the Hand of the King for 20 years. Jon Snow : Until your brother killed that King. Tyrion Lannister : Until my brother killed him. Life is full of these little ironies. My sister married the new King and my repulsive nephew will be King after him. I must do my part for the honor of my house, wouldn't you agree ? But how ? Well, my brother has his sword and I have my mind. And a mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone. That's why I read so much. And you ? What's your story, b*st*rd ? Jon Snow : Ask me nicely and maybe I'll tell you, dwarf. Tyrion Lannister : A b*st*rd boy with nothing to inherit, off to join the ancient order of the Night's Watch, alongside his valiant brothers-in-arms. Jon Snow : The Night's Watch protects the realm from... Tyrion Lannister : Yes yes, against grumpkins and snarks and all the other monsters your wet nurse warned you about. You're a smart boy. You don't believe that nonsense. Everything's better with some wine in the belly. Maester Luwin : It's time we reviewed the accounts, my lady. You'll want to know how much this royal visit has cost us. Catelyn Stark : Talk to Poole about it. Maester Luwin : Poole went south with Lord Stark, my lady. We need a new steward, and there are several other appointments that require our immediate attention... Catelyn Stark : I don't care about appointments ! Robb Stark : I'll make the appointments. We'll talk about it first thing in the morning. Maester Luwin : Very good, my Lord. My Lady. Robb Stark : When was the last time you left this room ? Catelyn Stark : I have to take care of him. Robb Stark : He's not going to die, mother. Maester Luwin says the most dangerous time has passed. Catelyn Stark : What if he's wrong ? Bran needs me. Robb Stark : Rickon needs you. He's six. He doesn't know what's happening. He follows me around all day, clutching my leg, crying... Catelyn Stark : Close the windows ! I can't stand it ! Please make them stop ! Robb Stark : Fire. You stay here. I'll come back. Man : You're not supposed to be here. No one is supposed to be here. It's a mercy. He's dead already. Catelyn Stark : No ! Daenerys Targaryen : Have you ever seen a dragon ? Irri : Dragon gone, Khaleesi. Daenerys Targaryen : Everywhere ? Even in the east ? Irri : No dragon. Brave men kill them. It is known. Jhiqui : It is known. Doreah : A trader from Garth told me that dragons come from the moon. Daenerys Targaryen : The moon ? Doreah : He told me the moon was an egg, Khaleesi, that once there were two moons in the sky. But one wandered too close to the sun and it cracked from the heat. Out of it poured a thousand thousand dragons and they drank the sun's fire. Irri : Moon is no egg. Moon is goddess... wife of sun. It is known. Jhiqui : It is known. Daenerys Targaryen : Leave me with her. Why did the trader from Garth tell you these stories ? Doreah : Men like to talk when they're happy. Before your brother bought me for you, it was my job to make men happy. Daenerys Targaryen : How old were you ? Doreah : I was nine when my mother sold me to the pleasure house. Daenerys Targaryen : Nine ?! Doreah : I did not touch a man for three years, Khaleesi. First you must learn. Daenerys Targaryen : Can you teach me how to make the Khal happy ? Doreah : Yes. Daenerys Targaryen : Will it take three years ? Doreah : No. Benjen Stark : Welcome. Catelyn Stark : What I am about to tell you must remain between us. I don't think Bran fell from that tower. I think he was thrown. Maester Luwin : The boy was always sure-footed before. Catelyn Stark : Someone tried to kill him twice. Why ? Why murder an innocent child ? Unless he saw something he wasn't meant to see. Theon Greyjoy : Saw what, my lady ? Catelyn Stark : I don't know. But I would stake my life the Lannisters are involved. We already have reason to suspect their loyalty to the crown. Rodrick Cassel : Did you notice the dagger the killer used ? It's too fine a weapon for such a man. The blade is Valyrian steel, the handle dragonbone. Someone gave it to him. Robb Stark : They come into our home and try to murder my brother ? If it's war they want... Theon Greyjoy : If it comes to that, you know I'll stand behind you. Maester Luwin : What, is there going to be a battle in the Godswood ? Too easily words of war become acts of war. We don't know the truth yet. Lord Stark must be told of this. Catelyn Stark : I don't trust a raven to carry these words. Robb Stark : I'll ride to King's Landing. Catelyn Stark : No. There must always be a Stark in Winterfell. I will go myself. Robb Stark : Mother, you can't. Catelyn Stark : I must. Rodrick Cassel : I'll send Hal with a squad of guardsmen to escort you. Catelyn Stark : Too large a party attracts unwanted attention. I don't want the Lannisters to know I'm coming. Rodrick Cassel : Let me accompany you at least. The Kingsroad can be a dangerous place for a woman alone. Robb Stark : What about Bran ? Catelyn Stark : I have prayed to the Seven for more than a month. Bran's life is in their hands now. Doreah : No, Khaleesi. You must look in his eyes always. Love comes in at the eyes. It is said that Irogenia of Lys could finish a man with nothing but her eyes. Daenerys Targaryen : Finish a man ? Doreah : Kings traveled across the world for a night with Irogenia. Magisters sold their palaces. Khals burned her enemies just to have her for a few hours. They say a thousand men proposed to her and she refused them all. Daenerys Targaryen : Well, she sounds like an interesting woman. I don't think that Drogo will like it with me on top. Doreah : You will make him like it, Khaleesi. Men want what they've never had. And the Dothraki take slaves like a hound takes a bitch. Are you a slave, Khaleesi ? Then don't make love like a slave. Very good, Khaleesi. Out there he is the mighty Khal, but in this tent, he belongs to you. Daenerys Targaryen : I don't think that this is the Dothraki way. Doreah : If he wanted the Dothraki way, why did he marry you ? Daenerys Targaryen : No. No. Tonight I would look upon your face. Sansa Stark : Pardon me, Ser. Sandor Clegane : Do I frighten you so much, girl ? Or is it him there making you shake ? He frightens me too. Look at that face. Sansa Stark : I'm sorry if I offended you, Ser. Why won't he speak to me ? Sandor Clegane : He hasn't been very talkative these last 20 years. Since the mad King had his tongue ripped out with hot pincers. Joffrey Baratheon : He speaks damn well with his sword though. Ser Ilyn Payne, the King's justice. The royal executioner. What is it, sweet lady ? Does the hound frighten you ? Away with you, dog. You're scaring my lady. I don't like to see you upset. The sun is finally shining. Come walk with me. Sansa Stark : Stay, Lady. I probably shouldn't have any more. Father only lets us have one cup at feasts. Joffrey Baratheon : My princess can drink as much as she wants. Don't worry... You're safe with me. Mycah : I'll get you ! Sansa Stark : Arya ! Arya Stark : What are you doing here ? Go away. Joffrey Baratheon : Your sister ? And who are you, boy ? Mycah : Mycah, my Lord. Sansa Stark : He the butcher's boy. Arya Stark : He's my friend. Joffrey Baratheon : A butcher's boy who wants to be a Knight, eh ? Pick up your sword, butcher's boy. Let's see how good you are. Mycah : She asked me to, my Lord. She asked me to. Joffrey Baratheon : I'm your prince, not your lord, and I said pick up your sword. Mycah : It's not a sword, my prince. It's only a stick. Joffrey Baratheon : And you're not a Knight. Only a butcher's boy. That was my lady's sister you were hitting, do you know that ? Arya Stark : Stop it ! Sansa Stark : Arya, stay out of this. Joffrey Baratheon : I won't hurt him... Much. Filthy little bitch ! Sansa Stark : No no, stop it, stop it, both of you. You're spoiling it. You're spoiling everything ! Joffrey Baratheon : I'll gut you, you little c**t ! Sansa Stark : Arya ! Arya Stark : Nymeria ! Joffrey Baratheon : Please don't. Sansa Stark : Arya, leave him alone. My prince, my poor prince, look what they did to you. Stay here, I'll go back to the inn and bring help. Joffrey Baratheon : Then go ! Don't touch me. Soldier 1 : The wolf's not here. Look down by the stream. Arya Stark : You've got to go. They'll kill you for what you did to Joffrey. Go on... run. Go ! Leave now ! Soldier 2 : It's a direwolf. Soldier 1 : I'll check down here. Soldier 2 : I think I heard a noise. Arya Stark : Go ! Jory Cassel : My lord ! My lord ! They found her. She's unharmed. Eddard Stark : Where is she ? Jory Cassel : She's been taken directly before the King. Eddard Stark : Who took her ? Jory Cassel : The Lannisters found her. Eddard Stark : Right, get back. Jory Cassel : The Queen ordered them to bring her straight to him. Eddard Stark : Back ! Back to the inn. All back ! Arya Stark : I'm sorry. Eddard Stark : Are you hurt ? Arya Stark : No. Eddard Stark : It's all right. What is the meaning of this ? Why was my daughter not brought to me at once ? Cersei Baratheon : How dare you speak to your King in that manner ? Robert Baratheon : Quiet, woman. Sorry, Ned. I never meant to frighten the girl. But we need to get this business done quickly. Cersei Baratheon : Your girl and that butcher's boy attacked my son. That animal of hers nearly tore his arm off. Arya Stark : That's not true ! She just... Bit him a little. He was hurting Mycah. Cersei Baratheon : Joff told us what happened. You and that boy beat him with clubs while you set your wolf on him. Arya Stark : That's not what happened ! Joffrey Baratheon : Yes it is ! They all attacked me and she threw my sword in the river. Arya Stark : Liar ! Joffrey Baratheon : Shut up ! Robert Baratheon : Enough ! He tells me one thing, she tells me another. Seven hells ! What am I to make of this ? Where's your other daughter, Ned ? Eddard Stark : In bed asleep. Cersei Baratheon : She's not. Sansa, come here, darling. Robert Baratheon : Now, child... Tell me what happened. Tell it all and tell it true. It's a great crime to lie to a King. Sansa Stark : I don't know. I don't remember. Everything happened so fast. I didn't see. Arya Stark : Liar ! Liar liar liar ! Sansa Stark : Arya ! Eddard Stark : Stop it ! That's enough of that. Arya Stark : Liar liar liar ! Eddard Stark : Stop ! Arya ! Cersei Baratheon : She's as wild as that animal of hers. I want her punished. Robert Baratheon : What would you have me do, whip her through the streets ? Damn it, children fight. It's over. Cersei Baratheon : Joffrey will bear these scars for the rest of his life. Robert Baratheon : You let that little girl disarm you ? See to it that your daughter is disciplined. I'll do the same with my son. Eddard Stark : Gladly, your Grace. Cersei Baratheon : And what of the direwolf ? What of the beast that savaged your son ? Robert Baratheon : I'd forgot the damned wolf. Soldier : We found no trace of the direwolf, your Grace. Robert Baratheon : So be it. Cersei Baratheon : We have another wolf. Robert Baratheon : As you will. Eddard Stark : You can't mean it. Robert Baratheon : A direwolf's no pet. Get her a dog. She'll be happier for it. Sansa Stark : He doesn't mean Lady, does he ? No no, not Lady ! Lady didn't bite anyone ! She's good ! Arya Stark : Lady wasn't there ! You leave her alone ! Sansa Stark : Stop them. Don't let them do it. Please ! It wasn't Lady ! Eddard Stark : Is this your command... your Grace ? Cersei Baratheon : Where is the beast ? Soldier : Chained up outside, your Grace. Cersei Baratheon : Ser Ilyn, do me the honor. Eddard Stark : No. Jory... Take the girls to their rooms. If it must be done, then I'll do it myself. Cersei Baratheon : Is this some trick ? Eddard Stark : The wolf is of the north. She deserves better than a butcher. The butcher's boy... You rode him down ? Sandor Clegane : He ran... Not very fast. ( Whines ) ( Whimpers ) ( Yelps ) ( Theme music playing )

Ned, the new Hand of the King, travels to King's Landing accompanied by his daughters, Sansa and Arya . Catelyn remains at Winterfell to care for the still unconscious Bran. An assassin attacks Bran, but Catelyn fends him off and Bran's direwolf , Summer, kills him. Catelyn suspects the Lannisters were behind the attack. Ned's illegitimate son, Jon , heads north with his uncle, Benjen Stark, to join the Night's Watch, the protectors of the Wall, a massive ice structure that keeps the Wildling tribes and the mythical White Walkers from civilized Westeros. Before departing, Jon gave tomboy Arya a thin sword she names, "Needle". Queen Cersei's younger brother, Tyrion Lannister , a dwarf also known as "The Imp," accompanies Jon to the Wall. In King's Landing, Prince Joffrey threatens Arya's young commoner friend, later having him killed. Nymeria, Arya's direwolf, defends her, biting Joffrey. Cersei demands that Robert have the wolf killed, but Arya releases Nymeria to the wild. Sansa's direwolf, Lady, is killed instead. In Winterfell, Brandon awakens, remembering nothing about his fall. He will live, but his legs are permanently paralyzed. Meanwhile, Daenerys is befriended by Ser Jorah Mormont , a disgraced knight, while she focuses on learning how to please Drogo.

fd_CSI__Crime_Scene_Investigation_07x04

fd_CSI__Crime_Scene_Investigation_07x04_0

FLASH IN: [EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) -- NIGHT] [CU: CLOCK] (The time clock reads midnight. Vasco Ruiz punches out. He takes his name tag off and puts it in his pocket and walks through the hallway.) [INT. GOLDEN SAPPHIRE -- GARAGE - CORRIDOR -- NIGHT] (Vasco Ruiz takes out his cell phone and dials.) Vasco Ruiz: (to phone) Hola, cari o. Todo bien? Estan mis bebes durmiendo como bebes? (He continues walking through the corridor and heads for the garage. He passes by a man dressed for work walking in the opposite direction.) Vasco Ruiz: (to phone) S , ya se, ya se. No me reganes mas. S , s . Comida para el bebe. S , pan, leche. Mira, cari o, ahorita vengo. (He reaches the garage and continues walking. A car slowly drives down the ramp. He doesn't pay any attention to it.) Vasco Ruiz: (to phone) Te quiero. (He hangs up with a smile on his face. He kisses the phone, folds it and continues walking through the dark garage.) (Vasco Ruiz walks down the ramp and passes by a drunk singing in the dark.) Drunk: (singing) Danke schoen / Oh, darling / danke schoen / danke schoen, oh, darling / danke schoen / thank you for all the joy and pain ... (He continues through the garage.) (A figure moves swiftly across the camera and disappears back into the darkness.) (Vasco Ruiz continues walking. The drunk's singing fades into the background. Vasco has his keys in his hand. He turns when he hears clanking behind him.) (He continues walking.) (Suddenly, a masked figure runs up to him from behind, grabs him and punches him hard. Vasco drops his phone and falls to the ground. The masked figure continues to punch and beat up Vasco.) (As the beatings continue, we hold on the photo image of Vasco and his wife Lucita on the phone.) FLASH TO: [INT. GOLDEN SAPPHIRE HOTEL - GARAGE -- NIGHT] (Grissom and Catherine shine their flashlights on Vasco Ruiz's body. His face is bloody.) (Brass walks up to them carrying an ID badge.) Brass: The vic had nothing on him but his casino ID. Name is Vasco Ruiz. He's a dishwasher here at the Golden Sapphire. (Grissom snaps photos. Catherine kneels down next to the body.) Brass: My guess he got off his shift, went to his car, got whacked. Catherine: By what? Brass: A blender? (Grissom snaps more photos.) Grissom: Surveillance? Brass: Not in the employee structure. Grissom: Witnesses? Brass: Well, we found a Wayne Newton impersonator, but all I could get him to do was sing a few bars of "Danke Schoen". But no wallet no cash, no cell phone, no car keys. Smells like a robbery. Catherine: Maybe it was his payday. Grissom: Even if this guy was walking out of here with a million dollars ... this is way more than excessive. Catherine: Personal. Brass: Yeah, I'm gonna go get personal with his boss. See what he knows. (Brass hands the phone to Catherine. He turns and leaves the area.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MOTEL -- NIGHT] (A young woman steps out of her motel room and starts walking across the dark parking lot. She's alone and dressed to have a night out on the town. In her hands, she has her drink and her bag.) (She reaches the end of the parking lot and sees the strip off in the distance several blocks away from her. She smiles, takes a sip of her drink, and starts walking.) [EXT. SIDEWALK - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (A man rides past her on a bike. He rings the bike bell. The young woman continues walking down the sidewalk. Sirens wail in the distance.) (She turns the corner and walks through an unlit parking area.) (She takes out a small pocket mirror and checks her lipstick. She turns the mirror and sees a hooded figure standing behind her.) (She puts the mirror down and finds a hooded figure standing in front of her.) (She screams.) FADE TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. GOLDEN SAPPHIRE HOTEL - GARAGE -- NIGHT] (The area in the parking garage is taped off. Grissom walks down the aisles looking for evidence. He stops and finds a set of keys near a side pillar. He picks it up and looks at it.) (Grissom looks around the area at a car parked nearby. He gets up and walks over to the parked car. He tries the key and opens the door. He kneels down and sees two dice hanging from the rear-view mirror. On the dice are pictures of Vasco Ruiz's two kids, one on each fuzzy block.) (He looks around the car.) (In the background, Grissom hears dispatch over the police radio. He looks up and sees the police scrambling for their cars. The next call is only a few blocks away from their present location.) Dispatch: (muffled) Officer: Got a 4-15, we gotta go. (Grissom stands up. The police officers start their car engines, turn their sirens on and head up the parking garage ramp.) (Grissom goes back to looking at the car.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT] (Sirens wail in the distance.) [EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT] (Jessica is wheeled out on a gurney, her head in a brace. She is badly beaten and bruised.) (The gurney passes Warrick and Brass on their way in.) Warrick: (to Brass) You got a name? Brass: She's not talking. Warrick: What about ID? Brass: He must've taken her wallet. Warrick: Cell phone? Brass: It's not here; they took it. Somebody had to see something. (Brass walks away. Warrick reaches Nick at the site.) Warrick: Hey. Nick: Hi. (Warrick looks at her things on the ground, most stained with blood.) Warrick: Well, we got a souvenir cup that screams "tourist." Nick: (nods) Yep. Warrick: I don't see a bar anywhere around here. She must've been either going to or coming from the strip. (Nick looks around the area. It's isolated, dark and dangerous-looking.) Nick: But she shouldn't have been walking around here, Warrick. Couldn't pick a shadier part of town, man. Warrick: You know these tourists don't know what they're getting when they book a trip to Vegas online. (Warrick kneels down and looks around.) Warrick: They think "I got a room on the strip for 75 bucks. Whoo, what a deal." Nick: Then they mosey through the naked city with their thousand dollar cameras. (Warrick nods.) Nick: Next thing you know, we're taking their picture. Warrick: You know what? Grissom's crime scene is just five blocks from here. Both victims had their wallets and their cell phones stolen. And they were both beaten down in the same way. Nick: Looks like someone's on a little crime spree. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- NIGHT] (David Phillips washes down the victim's head as Catherine watches.) Catherine: Uh, David, hang on. (She stops David. She finds a piece of toenail in the victim's mouth and removes it. She holds it up.) David: Looks like a woman's toenail. Catherine: Well, it's not necessarily a woman's. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOSPITAL - ROOM -- NIGHT] (In the hospital room, Sara snaps photos of Jessica's cuts and bruises. Jessica is in a neck brace. She flinches from the camera flashes.) (Sara moves in closer and snaps more photos.) (Sara sets the camera down, then picks up forceps and a bindle.) Sara: Jessica ... this might hurt a little bit, but it's going to help us get the people who did this to you. (Sara picks off trace she finds on Jessica's facial cuts and puts it in the bindle. Jessica flinches and groans.) Sara: I'm sorry. Thank you. (Sara sets the bindle aside and picks up the camera again.) Sara: Do you have any other injuries? Jessica Hershbaum: Yeah. On my left side. Ow. (Jessica rolls over on her side, her back to Sara. Sara leans in and looks.) Sara: Could you lift your left arm for me, please? (With a lot of pain and difficulty, Jessica raises her arm. She cries from the effort. Sara snaps a photo of the bruised indention on her side. It's in the shape of an "F.") Sara: Thank you. (Sara steps away. Jessica lowers her arm and rolls back.) Jessica Hershbaum: I just got out of a ten-year relationship. So I decided to take a solo trip to Vegas. You know, try the whole "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." (Sara picks more trace out of Jessica's facial cuts and places it in a bindle.) Sara: Been there. Jessica Hershbaum: Yeah, well, I get to take this face back with me. (Jessica cries. Sara picks up a pen to mark the bindle.) Jessica Hershbaum: Well, did anybody else get hurt? Sara: Why do you ask? Jessica Hershbaum: I heard them say that I was number two. Was there a number one? Sara: There was. Jessica Hershbaum: How are they doing? Sara: He died. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. ALLEYWAY -- NIGHT] (The pack of hooded people moves swiftly through the dark alleyway. Someone violently kicks something in their way and laughs.) (The pack continues on.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- NIGHT] (Catherine is marking the various shoe prints on the victim's shirt. She sticks a sticker next to each print as she identifies it.) (Greg walks in. He's dressed in a suit and looking snazzy. There's a gait in his step and his spirits are up. Catherine looks up and he poses for her, turning this way and that to show off his threads.) Catherine: All right, slick. Now what's with the suit? Greg: (proudly) Today was my first jury trial. Catherine: Today ended ... (she checks her watch) ... an hour and a half ago. Greg: Well, maybe I just don't want the day to end. Catherine: Well, if that's the case, why don't you help my day end quicker and help me isolate some shoe treads. (She tosses the roll of stickers to him. He catches it.) Take the pants. (Greg walks around the table and grabs some latex gloves from the box. He puts them on.) Catherine: So ... ? How'd you do on the stand? Greg: So good the prosecutor took me to dinner. Catherine: Female? Greg: Yeah, she was icing. (Greg puts a sticker on the pants near a shoe print.) I was just happy to finally see a case from the crime scene to the courtroom. We freakin' buried the guy. It was bad ass. I dropped the hammer ... he was squirming in his chair. Catherine: How many different patterns you have there? Greg: Five different patterns. (Greg walks around the table and moves the pants closer to Catherine's shirt so she can see and compare the patterns herself.) Catherine: Well, I've got three different ones on the t-shirt. (She points out the different shoe patterns.) Catherine: I mean, this one that looks like an athletic shoe sure got around. As did this pointed toe high-heeled one. Check out the heel mark. Greg: So did this work boot. Catherine: (teases) What do you know about work boots? I'm guessing you haven't worked a day of hard labor in your life. Greg: I wore Doc Martens in high school. It was the style. Catherine: Yeah, for skinheads. Greg: Yeah, they kind of ruined it for everyone. Catherine: You know, one of the victims was Hispanic, the other was Jewish. Maybe this was a hate crime. (Greg picks up a photo of the victim's bashed-in face.) Greg: Sure looks like hate to me. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- NIGHT] (Robbins looks at the body as he shares his findings with Grissom. Grissom writes on the clipboard.) Robbins: Vasco Ruiz was someone's punching bag. He suffered multiple abrasions, lacerations, contusions. I found no particular patterns, sharp edges or tool marks from any weapons. Grissom: Do fists and feet count? Robbins: He had too many bruises to count, one on top of another. And under the skin, things get even worse. INSERT: CSI ENHANCEMENT (Camera zooms in to the bones in the victim's hands. As Robbins speaks, the bones snap and break.) Robbins: Long bone fractures of the fingers, radius, ulna, humerus. (Camera zooms in to the chest cavity. The bones break there as well.) Robbins: (V.O.) Rib fractures, flail chest. Fractures of the vault and base of skull. Almost every bone in his face. (The skull bones break as well.) BACK TO SCENE. Robbins: Somewhere along the way, he took a shot to the head that resulted in a subdural hematoma. COD is multiple blunt force trauma. Grissom: Could one person have done this? Robbins: (shakes his head and sighs) Not even Mike Tyson. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. LIQUOR STORE -- NIGHT] (The liquor store owner rattles off the damage to Sofia.) Liquor Store Owner: (rambles quickly) Okay, okay, okay, they took my good vodkas, my single-malt whiskies, they took vermouth, cognac, VSOP cognac. Am I going to get any of the stuff back? What are you guys going to do about this? Sofia: Okay, slow down. You're talking too fast. Liquor Store Owner: All right, you know what? Just let me know when you're ready. Sofia: I'm ready, sir, I just, I just need you to talk slower. Liquor Store Owner: Okay, I can do that. These creeps come flying in here -- they take a lot of my good stuff. And I chased one of them and I snatched the sweater right off his back. Sofia: How many did you see? Liquor Store Owner: I don't know. There was a bunch. Sofia: A bunch. Two? Five? Ten? Liquor Store Owner: Closer to the ten. Sofia: Any descriptions? Liquor Store Owner: They had hoods on. They were hooded. Sofia: You took the sweater off one of them and you didn't get to see what he looked like? Liquor Store Owner: He was on his way out the door. What I did see was really weird. Anyway. Sofia: What does "weird" look like? Liquor Store Owner: I don't know. His face. His nose was all deformed. The whole thing creeped me out. Sofia: Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- NIGHT] (Greg walks through the hallway. He passes a tech, who smiles and high-fives him.) Tech: Way to go. Greg: Thank you. (Greg continues down the hallway. Grissom steps out of his office, his face buried in the clipboard he's writing on.) Grissom: Greg ... lose the monkey suit, you got a scene; liquor store robbery. Here's the address. (Greg takes the slip of paper from Grissom.) Greg: Related to the earlier 415s? Grissom: Could be -- Sofia's got one of the suspect's sweaters. I need you to seal it, bring it back here and anything you can find. Greg: All right. Who's my wingman? Grissom: You're a big boy, Greg. You don't need a wingman for this. (Grissom turns and leaves.) Greg: Primary. (smiles) Nice. (Greg heads out.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- NIGHT] (Sara dips the toe of her shoe in a pan of dark-colored dirt. She kicks the dummy on the ground. The dummy's wearing a white jumpsuit.) (With her back to the doorway, Sara kicks the dummy again and again.) (She moves the dummy to get a bigger area to kick. She pulls back and kicks again and again.) (She dips the toe of her shoe in the pan of dirt again. She continues to kick the crap out of the white-suited dummy on the ground.) (Grissom walks in from the hallway and watches her. Sara pulls back and kicks the dummy hard.) Grissom: Whoa! Pick on somebody you're own size. (Sara turns around and looks at Grissom.) Sara: Are you volunteering? (Grissom looks at Sara. He raises his eyebrow at her.) Grissom: No. (Sara wipes her forehead with the towel. She points to the two dummies wearing the victim's clothes.) Sara: The two scenes are related. I found two common treads on both vics: an athletic shoe and a boot. I ran them through the SoleMate database. The athletic shoe ... is a converse Chuck Taylor and the boot is a Doc Marten. (She shows Grissom the printouts.) (Grissom looks at the shoe prints on the shirt.) Grissom: Could this be a woman's shoe? Sara: Yeah, I ran that through the SoleMate database, too. That is a Steve Madden Dynasti Stiletto. Open-toe shoe. Grissom: 'Cause Catherine found a broken female toenail in the vic's mouth. INSERT: FLASHBACK (A woman grunts as she kicks the victim in the mouth. Blood spatters into the air.) BACK TO SCENE. Sara: Most of the treads are on the sides and back of the victim's clothing. Grissom: Which suggests that they were on the ground for most of the beating. Sara: Kicked to death. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY / WAITING ROOM -- NIGHT] (An officer is outside with Vasco Ruiz's two boys. In the waiting room, Brass talks with Lucita Ruiz, Vasco's wife.) Lucita Ruiz: How am I going to feed my boys?! Pay the rent, gas, car? God ... Brass: Mrs. Ruiz, I'll do the best I can. I'll put you in touch with state services that'll help you deal with these issues, okay? But right now I need your help to do my job. I need some information, okay? Lucita Ruiz: (nods) Whatever you need. Brass: All right. When was the last time you talked to Vasco? Lucita Ruiz: Midnight. He calls me every night after work. Brass: Did he have any enemies that you know of? Lucita Ruiz: No. He was a good man with a good heart. No one disliked him. Brass: Okay. Did he carry a wallet or a cell phone? Lucita Ruiz: He had both. Brass: I want you to write down his cell phone number on this piece of paper, okay? I need to access his records. (He slides the pen and paper to her. She writes it down.) [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (The door opens and Brass walks over to the two boys. He kneels down in front of them.) Brass: Hey, guys, this officer's going to take you and your mom home, make sure you all get home safe, okay? Lucita Ruiz: Thank you. (Brass walks away and leaves the Ruizes with the officer. Brass continues and steps into the lobby area. He turns and watches the report on television.) Reporter: (from tv) I'm standing across from the Holiday Motel where a brutal beating just occurred a few hours ago. We have the footage which was recorded by an anonymous bystander's cell phone. (Brass turns and takes interest in the news report.) Reporter: (from tv) Although the quality is poor, you can see several images assaulting the lone female victim. Anyone living near the strip is being told to stay at home until the assailant is caught. For anyone who has any information, please call 555-0155. (Brass turns to the officers standing nearby.) Brass: Get this reporter on the phone. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. SUV (MOVING) -- NIGHT] (Greg is driving on the road, making his way to the liquor store to pick up the sweater from Sofia. As he drives, he hears sounds of people grunting and yelling.) (He turns and sees an attack at the far end of an alleyway. Greg stops and reverses.) (Sure enough, there is a group of about a dozen individuals beating up a man on the ground.) (Greg stops and calls it in on his radio.) Greg: (to radio) Control, control, this is CSI Sanders. I need some help. Control: (from radio) Control, go with your information. Greg: (to radio) Okay, I got an assault in progress one alley south of Casino Central Drive, cross street Shane. Control: (from radio) How many suspects involved? Greg: (to radio) Multiple suspects. Could be the guys who've been doing it all night. Control: (from radio) The closest unit has a five-minute ETA. Rolling code three. Are they armed? (As Greg watches, the group continues to kick and beat up on the man on the ground.) Greg: (to radio) I don't know. I don't know. Ma'am, please, listen. You got to get here quicker than this. Dispatch: (from radio) Copy that. We'll roll two additional units ASAP. Wait for backup. (Greg watches the group in the alleyway. Five minutes seems too long. The man might not survive. Making a decision, Greg puts his SUV in gear and heads into the alley.) (With headlights on and lights flashing, Greg beeps his horn, trying to disrupt the gang.) (The gang continues to kick and beat up the man on the ground.) Greg: Move! (The beating continues. Greg beeps his car horn and flashes the siren. Several people in the group turn and notice the vehicle. They disband and run, leaving a single person behind who continues kicking the man on the ground.) Greg: (shouts) Get out of here! (The single person continues to kick and beat the man on the ground. Greg drives up close enough and stops. He honks the horn, but the person continues kicking the man.) (Then, the man turns around and looks at Greg. His eyes glow eerily and unnaturally in the shine of the car headlights.) (Greg doesn't move.) (The man runs to the side and picks up a large rock. He motions as if to bash the victim's head, then turns and starts running toward Greg.) (Greg watches for a moment, then presses the gas. The SUV lunges forward and hits the hooded man. He falls to the ground.) (Greg remains inside. He looks around. It's very quiet.) SMASH! (The back door glass smashes into pieces. Greg whirls around to see what's going on.) CRASH! (Greg ducks as the driver's side glass window is smashed into pieces.) (Someone from outside reaches in through the window and pulls Greg out of the SUV.) (Greg struggles. The rest of the gang returns. They take up where they left off ... this time with Greg as their victim.) (They turn on him, kicking and beating him up. Greg tries to stay on his feet. They push him into the nearby chain-linked fence, laughing as they kick and punch him in the back.) (They pull him away from the fence and toss him back to the center of the alleyway. Greg lands on his hands and knees. He tries to get up and crawl away, but they keep kicking and punching him in the back.) (Finally, Greg collapses on the cold ground.) (They kick him over onto his back ... and they continue beating, kicking and punching him.) (Greg is senseless, barely taking in anything anymore. His vision's blurred; sounds of his attackers' laughter echo around him. The kicks and punches don't stop.) (One of the attackers spits on Greg's vest. He steps over Greg and walks away. Greg reaches up and grabs the attacker's ankle as he leaves.) (Face bloodied, Greg opens his eyes and watches as the car leaving scratches against his SUV.) (We hold on Greg.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. ALLEYWAY -- MORNING] (A group of observers has gathered at the taped-off entry to the alley. Sofia talks with a hysterical Marla James, Demetrius' mother.) Marla James: Please let me see Demetrius. I just want to talk to him. Sofia: I'm sorry. It's a crime scene. I can't let you pass. I'm sorry. Marla James: (o.s.) He's not dead, is he? (Sara runs up to the tape.) Sofia: He's been badly injured, but he's being attended to, I promise you. (The officers lift the tape for Sara. She rushes past Sofia, who walks with her to the scene.) Sofia: Hey. Sara: Hey. (Sara sees three bodies on the alley floor. Medics attend to the beaten visitor and the attacker. Greg is unattended in the center.) Sara: Why isn't there a medic on Greg? Sofia: He's been stabilized. Sara, he's going to be okay. (Sofia walks away. Sara walks over to Greg and kneels next to him. Greg's eyes are closed.) (Sara puts a hand on Greg's hair, lightly stroking, offering what little comfort she can.) Greg: (faintly) Sara ... Sara: I didn't think you could see me. Greg: I can't ... but I know that Sidle scent. Sara: I'm going to take that as a compliment. (Sara looks up and turns away as she sniffles.) Greg: (rasps) I scratched one of them. (Sara takes Greg's hand with hers, careful to avoid touching his fingernails.) Greg: And you should check my vest. I think the same guy s-spit on me. (Sara doesn't say anything.) Greg: And one of their cars crashed into the Denali. I guarantee there's transfer on it. (Sara doesn't move. She continues to stroke Greg's hair.) Greg: You should process the scene now. Me later. Sara: I came here for you, Greg. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOSPITAL - ROOM -- DAY] (Stanley Tanner's leg is in a cast. His arm is in a cast and his face is bruised and beaten. Brass talks with him.) Brass: So how long you been in town, Mr. Tanner? Stanley Tanner: About twenty hours, man. Brass: You on vacation? Stanley Tanner: Straight from Union City, Tennessee. Brass: Okay, tell me what happened. Stanley Tanner: Well, I was cutting through that alley trying to find a taxi off one of them side streets. Next thing I know I'm on the ground just getting pounded all to hell. I thought I was gonna die. Even give it up to the man. Then I heard that horn honking and engine revving toward me. (He fades out and smiles at the thought.) Brass: Can you give me any descriptions? (Stanley shakes his head, no.) Brass: Okay. All right. You take it easy. Stanley Tanner: Could you do me a favor? Brass: Sure, I'll do my best. Stanley Tanner: The man that saved my life, I'd like to meet him, give him a thank you. Brass: His name is Greg Sanders. And I'm sure he'd appreciate it. I'll tell him. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. ALLEYWAY -- DAY] (Nick scrapes red paint transfer off of Greg's dark-colored Denali. He's quiet and disturbed by the scene.) (Warrick snaps photos of the blood on the ground. He even snaps a photo of a small tuft of brown hair.) Warrick: I think I just found a piece of Sanders' hair. (Cole Tritt, standing at the tape line, shouts to the CSIs inside.) Cole Tritt: So what, did somebody else get a beat down? (Nick turns to see the man standing outside the crime scene tape.) Cole Tritt: You bitches haven't caught them cats yet? Nick: Excuse me? Warrick: You fellas want to keep it moving? We're trying to work here. Kid 2: You call that working? Why is there an ass-whupping on every other block? (Nick stands up.) Nick: There's about to be an ass-whupping on this block. Kid 2: Is that right? Nick: That's right. Warrick: Hey, Nick ... Cole Tritt: Man, you're weak, weak, weak, weak. (The officer grabs kid 2 and pushes him up against the wall. Nick makes his way toward Cole Tritt.) Officer: Come on, man. Kid 2: You can't do this. I'll say what I want. (Cole Tritt holds his hands up in surrender.) Cole Tritt: I'm sorry. You're not weak. (Warrick is picking up something when he notices Nick heading toward Cole Tritt.) Warrick: (warns) Nick. (Nick stops in front of Cole Tritt.) Warrick: Nick ... Cole Tritt: You're a joke. (Nick turns around and smiles at Warrick. Warrick shakes his head, no.) (Nick turns and punches Cole Tritt in the stomach. The crowd reacts. Nick pulls back his fist and Warrick grabs his arm in a lock. He turns and pushes Nick toward the SUV.) Warrick: Nick. Come on! Cole Tritt: (to the crowd) Anybody get that on video? Man, I'll take a picture myself. (Cole Tritt takes out his phone. Warrick walks up to him and grabs the phone from him. He looks at it.) Warrick: That's a nice phone you got there, man. Real nice phone. Wonder how many drug dealers' numbers you got on this phone here. (Warrick ducks under the crime scene tape and gets in Cole Tritt's face.) Warrick: Feel like going to jail tonight? Listen, I'm sorry about the little spill you had earlier, but that's why we got the crime tape up, so you could see it. Watch where you're going next time. (Warrick pushes him away.) Get you home safely. (Warrick ducks back under the tape and heads over to Nick.) Warrick: What are you doing? We beating people up now? Nick: I'm sick of these punks, man. I'm serious, I'm sick of it. Warrick: Then you're in the wrong town. Nick: Maybe. (Nick pushes past Warrick and heads off screen.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOSPITAL - GREG'S ROOM -- DAY] (Grissom walks into the room and stops at the foot of Greg's bed. Greg's eyes are closed.) Grissom: Greg? (Greg's one good left eye flutters open.) Greg: Grissom. Grissom: Just another day at the office, huh? Greg: Well, at least I can see now. The guy they beat up ... how is he? Grissom: He's gonna be fine. Greg: What about the other guy? The guy I hit. Grissom: His name is Demitrius James. He's in surgery. Greg: Is he, like, a gangbanger or something? Grissom: Actually ... he's a student at the university. Greg: He gonna be okay? Grissom: I don't know. (Greg turns away and sighs.) Grissom: Has someone called your parents? We should let them know. Greg: Mmph. Grissom: What's the matter? Greg: They still think I'm in the lab. Grissom: (confused) Why do they think that? Greg: When I was in high school ... I never played any sports. No football, no basketball. Definitely no hockey. Grissom: I never would've guessed. Greg: Well, it wasn't by choice. My mom wanted four kids. Ended up with only one. She always made sure I stayed close. If I got a nosebleed, she'd take me to the ER. Grissom: Well ... now would be the time to come clean. Greg: (upset) My mom's gonna freak. Grissom: You tell her that you risked your life to save someone else's ... and I think she'll be very proud of you. (Greg cries quietly.) [INT. HOSPITAL - HALLWAY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Grissom steps out of the room and walks down the hallway. Sara turns the corner.) Sara: Hey. (She heads toward him.) Sara: Doctor found these on Demitrius James. (She shows him a container. He takes it and looks at it. There is a pair of contact lenses inside.) Grissom: Contact lenses? Sara: Special kind. They're called Halloween lenses. They're wearing costumes. Grissom: Great. Just a game to them. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. CSI -- DAY] (The fax machine prints out a sheet. Catherine looks at it. It reads: TEL NEVADA CELLULAR PHONE RECORD VASCO RUIZ (She looks at the numbers.) Catherine: (V.O.) Is that your number, Cha Cha? [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (Catherine interviews Cha Cha Romero.) Cha Cha Romero: Yeah, that's my number. Catherine: So tell me ... what does a dead guy sound like? (Catherine puts the post-mortem photo of Vasco Ruiz on the table. Cha Cha Romero looks at it and laughs.) Catherine: Oh, is that funny? Cha Cha Romero: Oh, man, I mean, isn't it supposed to be? Catherine: Someone called you from his phone-- who was it? Cha Cha Romero: When'd they call again? Catherine: 12:33 A.M., last night. Cha Cha Romero: Man, you know how many people blow me up at that time? Shoot, that's like prime time. Finding-the-right-party time. Half my calls go to voice mail my line's so busy. Catherine: Who's this guy? (Catherine flips through the photos and shows her a picture of Demetrius James.) Cha Cha Romero: (sighs & shrugs) M-maybe I seen him before, I don't know. (She reaches down and picks up her bag. She puts it on the table. Catherine notices the large "F" insignia on the bag flap. She unzips the bag.) (Catherine looks at the photo of the large "F" shaped bruise taken from Jessica after her beating.) INSERT: FLASHBACK (The gang punches and hits their victim. Cha Cha swings her bag and hits the victim.) BACK TO SCENE. Catherine: Farami, huh? Cha Cha Romero: Yeah. You like? Catherine: If it was real, I might. Cha Cha Romero: Whatever. (She stands up and walks over to the door.) Can I go now? (Catherine shows her a photo of Jessica.) Catherine: When I swab that knockoff Farami buckle and I find this tourist's DNA on it, you're going down for murder. Cha Cha Romero: (scoffs) She didn't die. Catherine: No, but Mr. Ruiz did. And you were the last person that he called. That connects you to both crimes. Cha Cha Romero: (sighs) Tara, okay? Tara called me. It's funny, 'cause the only reason I picked up my phone is 'cause I didn't know the number. (She sits back down.) Thought it was this hot boy. Catherine: And what did Tara want? Cha Cha Romero: Her boyfriend Pig invited her to a party at a motel. She invited me, so I rolled. (Quick flashback to: The group beats up a tourist in the parking lot. Tara and Cha Cha step into camera frame.) Tara Miller: Go get a piece. It's fun. (Tara puts her hood on and heads for the group. After a beat, Cha Cha puts her hood on and joins them.) (End of flashback.) Catherine: Is that your idea of a party? Cha Cha Romero: Man, everyone loves a good fannysmackin' session. Catherine: A what? Cha Cha Romero: Beating up fannypackers. You know, tourists. Catherine: Why would you want to do that? Cha Cha Romero: (shrugs) Nothing else to do. Catherine: And you do this all the time? Cha Cha Romero: Yeah, but this was the first time I ever heard of anyone dying. Catherine: What is Pig's name? Cha Cha Romero: I just know "Pig." Catherine: So if ... fannysmackin' is all about tourists, why'd you go after a dishwasher at the Golden Sapphire? Cha Cha Romero: I don't know. Maybe he was just practice. (Catherine looks absolutely speechless.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY -- DAY] (Sofia meets up with Brass.) Brass: So, you think we're out of the woods yet? (She looks at her watch.) Sofia: Well, the beatings were occurring every half hour, and it's been three hours since the last one, so maybe. (In the background, they hear voices rise from a commotion at reception. They head over.) Officer: You need to sign in. Dean Harden: Do I look like I want to sign in? I want to talk to a cop, okay? (shouts) Somebody get me a cop! I want to talk to a cop now! (Brass and Sofia turn the corner.) Sofia: (points to Brass) He's a cop. Brass: (points to Sofia) She's a cop. (Dean Harden and Anthony Himmer walk over to Sofia and Brass. Anthony points to Dean's beaten face.) Anthony Himmer: Hey, my friend, he got beat up and robbed. Brass: I can see that. Sofia: Where? Dean Harden: On the corner of Decatur and Jones. They-they took the ten g's that I had on me, they took my watch, they took my cell phone. Anthony Himmer: And look at his face. They beat him up, too. Brass: Did you get a good look at 'em? Dean Harden: Not really -- they were wearing hoodies. (Brass and Sofia look at each other.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MILLER RESIDENCE -- DAY] (The door opens. Tara Miller, escorted by two officers, walks out of the residence. Her hands are cuffed behind her back. She's got a large bandage on her left big toe.) (They put her in the back of the officer car.) (Nick exits the residence carrying a couple of bags of evidence. He walks past a red car and stops to look at the scratch on its side. He turns and looks at Tara in the back seat of the officer car. She's watching him.) (Nick puts the packages down and opens the car door. He crawls inside and opens the glove compartment. He opens the center armrest compartment and finds a wallet and cell phone. He takes the wallet and cell phone out of the car and shuts the door.) (He opens the wallet and finds VASCO RUIZ's driver's license inside. Nick looks at Tara. She knows she's busted.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY / LAYOUT ROOM -- DAY] (Hodges walks through the hallway and finds Grissom in the layout room, various items spread out on the table.) Hodges: Processed the sweater found at the liquor store. Found blood. (He shows the results to Grissom.) Hodges: Sent it to DNA. Wendy found two types, matched both to your vics. She also ran saliva on Greg's jacket. Came back unknown male. Same unknown male that Greg scratched. (Finished, Hodges puts the results back in the folder and looks at the map and various evidence out on the table.) Hodges: Nice map. Grissom: What do you see? Hodges: My old neighborhood. What do you see? Grissom: Inconsistency. Hodges: In what? Grissom: The dishwasher, both tourists and Greg were attacked near the strip. Dean Harden claims that he was attacked all the way over here in southwest Las Vegas. Swarms don't backtrack. Hodges: We're talking about humans here, not bugs. Grissom: Humans have always adapted strategies from insects. Swarming is an ancient military tactic. You surround your enemies, then attack from all directions simultaneously. Alexander the Great pioneered the maneuver 2,000 years ago. Although swarms consist of several individuals, they must be treated as a single entity, which lives, thinks and moves as one, built with an internal logic to continue forward, gain momentum and never backtrack. Hodges: So this guy Dean probably was not a victim of this swarm, or he's lying. Grissom: Take a look at these clothes. (Grissom shows Hodges Dean Harden's clothes.) Grissom: In contrast to the other beatings, I found only one type of shoe tread on Dean's clothing. The print matches a size 12 Nike Air. And this tennis shoe is ... his own. Hodges: He swarmed himself? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (Sofia talks with Dean Harden and Anthony Himmer.) Dean Harden: I owe my Uncle Lenny ten g's. And I don't got it, all right? Sofia: Am I supposed to know who Uncle Lenny is? Anthony Himmer: Uncle Lenny? Lenny G. The famous sports handicapper. Sofia: (interrupts) Yeah, it's not ringing any bells. Anthony Himmer: He's black-booked from the casinos. Dean Harden: But he still likes to bet. Sofia: And you bet for him. Dean Harden: Yeah, he gave me five dimes to bet the Eagles this past Sunday. You see, me and Ant, we're hurting for cash right now. Anthony Himmer: We didn't think the Eagles had a chance, so we thought we would just pocket the cash. Sofia: But they won and now you owe Uncle Lenny G. ten gs. Dean Harden: Yeah. And when we saw these beatings on TV and ... just thought it was a great idea. (Quick flashback to: [EXT - NIGHT] ) (Dean and Anthony discuss the beatings.) Dean Harden: Don't go near the package. Anthony Himmer: Why am I going to go near your package? Dean Harden: All right. All right. Anthony Himmer: It'll be like Pesci did it to De Niro in "Raging Bull." Remember that? Dean Harden: Yeah, all right, just do it, man, come on. Anthony Himmer: Okay. Dean Harden: All right, just do it, man! Anthony Himmer: I'm doing it! (Anthony punches Dean in the face. Dean yells and groans. He starts crying from the pain.) Anthony Himmer: What, are you crying? Dean Harden: Shut up, man! It's not funny, all right?! (End of flashback.) Anthony Himmer: I figured if Dean said we got beat up and robbed, we wouldn't have to pay up. Sofia: Yeah, well, now you're eleven g's in the hole. The ten thousand you owe Uncle Lenny for the bet, and the thousand you owe us for filing a false police report. (Sofia turns and leaves the room. Dean shakes his head and exhales.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Nick empties out handbag contents on the table. He picks up the cell phone and checks the messages. There is one new text message. CALLBACK #: 702-555-0165 MESSAGE: FROM PIGMAN. WHERE DA HELL U @ CALLBACK #: 702-555-0165 MESSAGE: U ROLLIN OUT TONIGHT SENT ON: SEP 11, 06 8:58 PM 1 NEW TEXT MESSAGE MESSAGE: PIGMAN: HEY Y'ALL. GOLDEN SAPPHIRE FANNYSMACKIN' SESSION. 11. MESSAGE SENT 9:33 PM (Nick continues to check the messages when Catherine walks in.) Nick: Hey, Catherine. I think I'm on to something. Check this out. (Catherine takes a latex glove and uses it to hold the phone as she reads the text message.) Catherine: Oh ... the king swine. Nick: Now, "y'all" is plural. Believe me, I used the word a lot, so I have a feeling he sent that to more than one person. Catherine: It could be a mass text. Lindsey once sent everyone in her phonebook the same message at the same time. I got stuck with a $300 bill. Nick: Hmm, we got this punk's phone number. All we have to do is subpoena his phone records. We'll get every one he sent the message to. We'll text him, we'll tell him to meet us somewhere. Catherine: From Tara's phone? They'll know it's us. Nick: No, from Pig's phone. Catherine: We don't have Pig's phone. Nick: Don't need it. When you text from a computer, you put in the number that you're calling from. We'll just use Mister Piggy's. Catherine: Okay, but how do we get the pig? (Nick turns and looks at Catherine.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (Brass talks with Tara Miller. Brass: Look, I'm not going to play you, Tara. So let's not waste each other's time. I have enough evidence to try you for first-degree murder. But I'm greedy. I want the rest of the Mickey Mouse Club. So you have a choice. You can either spend a very, very long time in jail or you can help me out. (Tara holds her wrists out for him to handcuff. She bobs her head from side to side. Brass looks at her and bobs his head from side to side in the same manner.) Tara Miller: I'm not saying nothing. Brass: You don't have to say anything. (Brass slides a pad and pen toward her.) Brass: Write a text message. Something Pig would send to his buddies to gather them all up for another fannysmackin' party. Look, Tara, I don't think that beating these people up was your idea, so why should you and Cha Cha take the fall? These guys don't care about you. I mean, let's face it. You're just a piece of tail to them. Right? So what's it going to be? Are you going to let a guy with the colorful but unfortunate name of "Pig" run free while you go to jail? You know, it's funky in there. No Posh Spice. No parties, no purses or pedicures or pasta primavera. So you decide. (firmly) Decide. (She grabs the pen and starts writing.) [SCENE_BREAK] [CU: MONITOR] (The text messages are sent out. It reads: From: 702-555-0165 Pigman: yo. Fannysmakin' championship .Round two. Meet @ 5 @ da spot. 09/22/2006 7:50 PM [INT. DA SPOT - NIGHT] (A couple of guys wearing masks sit in their car. A second car pulls up along side theirs.) Hooded Kid #1: Pig text you? Hooded Kid #2: (nods) Yeah. (Several more cars pull into the warehouse and park.) Hooded Kid #3: Hey, Pig, thanks for that text. I'm ready for some smackin'. "PIG": I didn't text you. Hooded Kid #3: You didn't? "PIG": Nah. Did you text me. Hooded Kid #3: I didn't text you. (Suddenly several officer cars pull into the warehouse, their sirens pulse on and off, lights flashing.) (Brass parks his car.) (Sofia parks and gets out of her car, a shotgun in her hands. Nick parks and gets out of his car, his gun out and leveled at the kids. More cars pull in, surrounding the kids.) Brass: (over bullhorn) Everybody out of the car, now. Get out of the car. (One-by-one, the kids get out of their cars.) Brass: (over bullhorn) Let's see those hands. Put them on the top of the car. (The officers move forward.) Officer: Put 'em where I can see 'em. (Nick takes special notice of a kid who hasn't moved from his car. Sofia heads forward toward the car. She cocks her shotgun on her way to the car.) Sofia: Turn off the truck. Get out. And put your hands above your head. (The kid doesn't move.) Brass: (over bull horn) Get out of the car! ("Pig" gets out of the car. The officer steps forward and slams him face-down onto the hood of the car.) Sofia: You're going to jail. (He looks at her.) "PIG": Free shower, free food, free sleep. ("Pig" chuckles. Nick pushes his way toward "Pig." He tucks his gun away.) Nick: Let me in there. (Nick pulls the mask off and finds it's the guy from the alleyway crime scene.) Cole Tritt (Pig): This little piggy went, "wee, wee, wee," all the way home. (Nick knocks the cap off Cole's head. Cole looks at Nick and snorts like a pig as the officers pull him away.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOSPITAL - GREG'S ROOM -- NIGHT] (Greg is feeding himself. He lifts his head and through the glass window between the two rooms, he sees Demetrius' mother and brother standing over Demetrius' bed.) (He hears voices and turns to find Nurse Lizzy pushing Stanley Tanner in a wheelchair. They enter his room.) Nurse Lizzy: I think this is the room, sir. Stanley Tanner: There he is. (Greg pushes the bedside table away and gets to his feet.) Stanley Tanner: Mr. Sanders? Greg: Hey. How you doing? Stanley Tanner: Better than dead. Get me over here, Lizzy, where I can shake this man's hand. (Lizzy pushes his wheelchair closer. Greg holds up his bandaged hand. Stanley holds up his arm in a cast. It's a little awkward, but Stanley grabs Greg's left hand with his right in a firm grip.) Stanley Tanner: You're a brave man. Thank you. Greg: You're welcome. Stanley Tanner: (to the nurse) Home, Elizabeth. Nurse Lizzy: Okay. (Nurse Lizzy backs Stanley toward the door.) Stanley Tanner: I cook some mean barbeque, if you ever get yourself to Union City, Tennessee. Greg: I'll look you up. Stanley Tanner: You do that. (In the next room, Marla James cries hysterically over her dead son's body. Greg turns and steps closer to the window. She drapes herself over her son and sobs loudly.) (Her other son Aaron stands helplessly on the side. He looks up and sees Greg watching them. He glares at Greg. Greg looks down and steps away from the window.) (He continues to glare at Greg.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - MORNING] [INT. CSI - LOCKER ROOM -- MORNING] (Sara removes the lock from her locker and opens it. She turns and addresses Warrick, who is sitting on the locker bench, and Nick, who removes the cartridge from his gun before tucking it back into his locker.) Sara: I am going to pick up some Roberto's, take it over to Greg. I'm sure he's sick of that hospital food -- anybody want to come? Warrick: I'll take a ride with you, but I'm going to pass on the Mexican food at 10:00 in the morning. Nick: (chuckles) No, I'd like to see Greg. I'm definitely in, yeah. (Catherine walks in.) Catherine: Pig and the piglets are in the pigpen. Warrick: It's about time. Finally, some good news. Catherine: Did you know that Pig, aka Cole Tritt, was the only adult. The rest of them were under 18. One was 14. Warrick: Are you kidding? Who raises these kids? Catherine: I mean, they weren't all delinquents. Demitrius James was a college student. Nick: Hanging out with the wrong crowd in the wrong town. I'm telling you ... [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BOOKING - DAY] (The kids are being processed. One is outside the holding cell while the others wait inside, sitting on benches.) Nick: (V.O.) ... a fake ID in Las Vegas is like having a free ticket on the hell train. s*x, drugs, gambling, no adult supervision, 24/7. (The officer grabs the next kid and lead him to the holding cell door.) Nick: (V.O.) By the time they're 21, they've done and seen it all. BACK TO SCENE. (Catherine looks shocked by their assessment of today's young people.) Catherine: Make me slit my wrists, why don't you? I'm raising a teenager here. Warrick: Oh, you're doing a great job. Lindsey's gonna turn out to be a beautiful young woman. Besides, I grew up in Vegas. I didn't turn out so bad, did I? Nick: Yeah, that was pre-Mirage, back when you were a little squirt going to the casino playing the arcade games. [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BOOKING - DAY] (Camera moves down the line of bored kids sitting on the benches inside holding cells as they wait to be processed. There's no fear on their faces. No remorse. Nothing.) Nick: (V.O.) No, Vegas is a different animal now. Warrick: (V.O.) Yeah, these kids need to beat people on the street to be entertained. They just need some good discipline. BACK TO SCENE (Sara finishes and turns to listen. Warrick tucks his things in his pockets as he smiles at Nick.) Warrick: They need their grandmother whupping their ass like, like I had. Nick: (nods) Yeah, a good slap. Sara: You know, it kind of sounds like you guys are blaming everybody but these kids. I mean, you don't get a bye just 'cause you grew up here or your parents are on drugs. Those kids are perfectly capable of telling the difference between a wild night out and ... beating somebody to death. Grissom: (o.s.) The truth is ... (Grissom, who has been unnoticed in the room all this time, shuts his locker closed. He has everyone's attention.) Grissom: ... a moral compass can only point you in the right direction, can't make you go there. Our culture preaches that, uh, you shouldn't be ashamed of anything you do anymore. INSERT: VARIOUS FLASHES OF THE KIDS HAVING THEIR MUG SHOTS TAKEN. Grissom: (V.O.) And unfortunately, this city was built on the principle that there's no such thing as guilt. "Do whatever you want; we won't tell." So without a conscience, there's nothing to stop you from killing someone. And evidently, ... BACK TO SCENE. Grissom: ... you don't even have to feel bad about it. FLASH TO BLACK.

The team investigates a series of brutal tourist beatings that take place within the span of a few hours throughout the city, all done by a bizarre group of hooded people with strange physical features. The case gets personal for the CSI when one of their own is badly beaten trying to save one of the victims during an assault.

fd_Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer_02x09

fd_Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer_02x09_0

Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Sunnydale High School. The career fair is going on in the lounge. Willow comes into the hall from outside and looks around at some of the displays being set up on her way to sign up for the career aptitude test. Buffy and Xander are already sitting at a table filling out their tests. Xander: (reads) 'Are you a people person, or do you prefer keeping your own company?' Well, what if I'm a people person who keeps his own company by default? Willow heads for their table with a test to join them. Buffy: So, mark 'none of the above'. Xander: Well, there are no boxes for 'none of the above'. That would introduce too many variables into their mushroom head, number-crunching little world. Willow: (sits) I'm sensing bitterness. Xander: No, it's just these people can't tell from one multiple-choice test what we're gonna be doing for the rest of our lives. It's ridiculous! Willow: (smiles) I'm kinda curious to find out what sort of career I could have. Xander: What, and suck all the spontaneity out of being young and stupid? I'd rather live in the dark. Willow: You're not gonna be young forever. Xander: Yes, but I'll always be stupid. (smirks and looks at the girls) Okay, let's not all rush to disagree. Buffy: (looks up at him seriously) You're not stupid. Xander gives her an acknowledging sarcastic grin, then looks up when he hears Cordelia. She has a clipboard, and is taking her test as she walks into the lounge accompanied by two of her groupies. Cordelia: 'I aspire to help my fellow man.' (marks her test) Check. As long as he's not smelly, dirty or something gross. (walks by the table) Xander: Cordelia Chase, always ready to give a helping hand to the rich and the pretty. Cordelia: Which, lucky me, excludes you. Twice. Xander has no comeback, so Cordelia just walks away followed closely by her cronies. Xander: Is murder always a crime? Buffy: Do I like shrubs? Xander: That's between you and your god. Buffy: (to Willow) What'd you put? Willow: I came down on the side of shrubs. Buffy: Go with shrubs! Okay! (frustrated) Uhhh! I shouldn't even be bothering with this. It's all mootville for me. No matter what my aptitude test says, we already know my deal. Xander: Yup, high risk, sub-minimum wage... Buffy: Pointy wooden things... Willow: Then why are you even taking the test? Buffy: It's Principal Snyder's hoop of the week. He's not happy unless I'm jumping. Believe me, I would *not* be here otherwise. Willow: You're not even a teensy weensy bit curious about what kinda career you could've had? I mean, if you weren't already the Slayer and all. Buffy: Do the words 'sealed in fate' ring any bells for you, Will? Why go there? Willow is hurt by that comment. Xander: Y'know, with that kind of attitude you could've had a bright future as an employee at the DMV. (shakes his pencil at her) Buffy: I'm sorry, it's just... unless Hell freezes over and every vamp in Sunnydale puts in for early retirement, I'd say my future is pretty much a non-issue. Cut to Spike's warehouse. Drusilla is standing at one end of a large table dealing her tarot cards. At the other end Spike is looking on as Dalton tries to translate the ancient text in the book that they stole from the library. Spike: Read it again. Dalton: Well, I'm not sure. It could be, uh... (shrugs with his hands) deprimere... ille... bubula... linter. Spike: (paging through a dictionary) Debase, the beef, canoe. Dalton looks up at Spike and smiles a stupid smile. Spike cannot abide him and punches him in the face. Spike: Why does that strike me as not right? Dalton looks at him sheepishly and turns his attention back to the book. Drusilla: Spike, come dance? (holds out her hand) Spike: (angry) Give us some peace, would you? Can't you see I'm working? Drusilla pulls back her hand and begins to pout and whine like a puppy. Spike: Oh, I'm sorry, kitten. (goes to her) It's just this manuscript. Supposed to hold your cure, but it reads like gibberish. E-even Dalton here, the big brain, he can't make heads or tails of it. Drusilla puts her hand to her head. Drusilla: I... I, I need to change Miss Edith. She takes a few steps and then puts her other hand to her head as well, bends over and whines. Spike rushes to her, puts his arms around her and pulls her back up. Spike: Oh, forgive me! You know I can't stand to see you like this. (sits her down and crouches) We're runnin' out of time. It's that bloody Slayer! Whenever I turn around she's muckin' up the works. Drusilla: (tries to comfort him back) Shh. Shh. You'll make it right. I know. Spike puts his hands around her neck and kisses her gently but firmly. After they release their kiss he stands up again and turns his attention back to Dalton. Drusilla reaches for the next tarot card. Spike: Well. (walks around the table) Come on, now. Enlighten me. Dalton: Uh, well, it looks like Latin, but it's not. I-I'm not even sure it's, it's a language, actually, I... Spike: Then MAKE IT A LANGUAGE! Isn't that what a transcriber does?! Dalton: Well, not exactly... He yelps as Spike grabs him by the shirt and lifts him from his chair. Spike: I want the cure. Drusilla: Don't... Spike: Why not? Some people find pain (punches Dalton in the stomach) very inspirational. Dalton doubles over. Drusilla: (looks up from her cards) He can't help you. (looks back at her cards) Not without... (points at a card) the key. Spike: The key? You mean this book is in some kind of code? Drusilla: Yeah. Dalton nods weakly, still in pain. Spike shoves him back into his chair and walks over to Drusilla. He looks at one of her cards. A mausoleum is pictured on it. Spike: Is that where we'll find this key? Drusilla: Yeah! Spike: I'll send the boys, pronto! Drusilla: Now will you dance? (smiles) Spike: (smiles and takes her hand) I'll dance with *you*, pet. He pulls her up from her chair and lifts her into his arms. Spike: On the Slayer's grave! He starts to spin around with her in his arms. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The cemetery. Buffy walks through it at a relaxed pace. She pauses for a moment, but continues on, scanning the graveyard around her as she goes. She stops again when she hears clinking noises coming from a mausoleum. She looks at it and sees light coming from inside. She walks over to it, pushes the door open a bit and peeks in. Dalton is chipping away at the wall, exposing a chamber behind it. He reaches in for something as Buffy pulls her head back out and closes the door. She walks down the steps and turns around to wait for him to come out. A few moments later Dalton opens the door and steps out. Buffy: Does 'rest in peace' have no sanctity to you people? Oh, I forgot. You're not a people. Another vampire comes up behind her. She senses him, turns around and kicks him in the gut, then the jaw, then again in the gut. He takes a swing at her, but she grabs his arm and punches him twice in the face. He swings at her with his other arm, but she ducks and catches it, too. She yanks it back, and it can be heard snapping. While she has him leaning back she thrusts a stake into his heart. He explodes into ashes. Buffy: One down, (turns and sees Dalton missing) one gone. She looks around, but sees no sign of him anywhere. Cut to Buffy's room. Angel is there, and he looks around while he waits for her to get home. Buffy climbs up to her window and looks in. She sees him looking into her bookcase. Angel takes her stuffed pig from the shelf. Without a word Buffy reaches for her bag and tosses it loudly through the window and onto the floor. Angel turns around, startled. He gently squeezes the pig. Angel: Buffy! You scared me. Buffy: (climbs in) Now you know what it feels like, Stealth Guy. She crouches down by her bag and reaches into her hair to pull out a few clips. Buffy: Just dropping by for some quality time with Mr. Gordo? Angel: (confused) Excuse me? Buffy: The pig. (opens her trunk and dumps the bag in) Angel: Oh. (chuckles) I, uh... Buffy: What's up? (walks to her desk) Angel: Nothing. He tosses the pig onto a chair and walks to the foot of her bed. She drops her hair clips into a desk drawer and faces him. Buffy: Only you don't have a nothing face. You have a something face. And you don't have to whisper. Mom's in L.A. till Thursday. Art buying, or something. Angel: Then why'd you come in through the window? Buffy: (crinkles her nose) Habit. Angel: I wanted to make sure you're okay. I had a bad feeling. Buffy: (exhales) There's a surprise. Angel comes with bad news. He exhales and turns away, tired of the same old reaction from her. Buffy: Oh, God, I'm sorry. (walks over to him) Look, I've been Cranky Miss all day. It's not you. Angel: Well, what is it then? Buffy: It's nothing. Angel isn't buying it. Buffy: (exhales) Uh, we're having this thing at school. Angel: Career week? Buffy: How did you know? Angel: I lurk. Buffy: Right. Well, then you know it's a whole week of 'what's my line', only... I don't get to play. (sits on her bed) Sometimes I just want... Angel: You want what? (sits next to her) Buffy looks into her long mirror. She's alone in the reflection. Angel: It's okay. Buffy: (looks up at Angel) The Cliff Notes version? I want a normal life. Like I had before. Angel: Before me. Buffy: No, Angel, (touches his hand) it's not you. (touches his cheek) You're the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me. (lowers her hand) I just get messed sometimes. (Angel looks down) I wish we could be regular kids. Angel: (looks back up) Yeah. I'll never be a kid. (gets up) Buffy: Okay, then a regular kid and her cradle robbing, creature-of- the-night boyfriend. Angel can't help but let out a laugh. Buffy smiles back. He sees a picture on her desk and picks it up. It's of her as a child on ice- skates. Angel: Was this part of your normal life? Buffy: Oh, my God. (laughs and stands up) My Dorothy Hamill phase. My room in L.A. was pretty much a shrine. Dorothy dolls, Dorothy posters, I even got the Dorothy haircut. Thereby securing a place for myself in the geek hall of fame. Angel: Hmm, you wanted to be like her? Buffy: I wanted to *be* her. My parents were fighting all the time, and skating was an escape. I felt safe. Angel: When was the last time you put on your skates? Buffy: (inhales) About a couple of hundred demons ago. Angel: (steps close to her) There's a rink out past Route 17, it's... closed on Tuesdays. Buffy: (looks up at him) Tomorrow's Tuesday. Angel: I know. Cut to school the next day. Cordelia and Xander are going over the results of the career aptitude test posted on a bulletin board. She finds herself in the A-D list. Cordelia: Oh, here I am. 'Personal shopper or motivational speaker.' Neato! Xander: Motivational speaker? On what? Ten ways to a more annoying you? She pages through the H-K list and finds Xander's results. Cordelia: Oh, what about you? You're... (giggles and leaves) Xander: What? (frantically looks himself up) What?! Cut to a hall exit. Willow and Buffy come out and start across the quad. Willow: You and Angel are going skating? Alone? Buffy: Unless some unforeseen evil pops up. But I'm in full 'see no evil' mode. Willow: Angel ice-skating. Buffy: I know. Two worlds collide. Xander meets up with them. Xander: Wouldn't you two say you know me about as well as anyone else? Maybe even better than I know myself? Willow: What's *this* about? Xander: When you look at me, do you think 'prison guard'? Willow and Buffy giggle. Buffy: Um, crossing guard, maybe, but prison guard? (shakes her head) Xander: They just put up the assignments for the career fair, and according to my test results I can look forward to being gainfully employed in the growing field of corrections. Buffy: (giggles) Well, at least you'll be on the right side of the bars. Xander: Ha, ha, ha, ha! Laugh now, missy, they assigned you to the booth for law enforcement professionals. Buffy: (stunned) As in police? Xander: As in polyester, doughnuts and brutality. Buffy whines. Willow: But, (smiles) doughnuts! Buffy: (whines louder) Well, I'll just jump off that bridge when I come to it. She spots Giles walking along with a tall stack of old books in his arms. Buffy: First I have to deal with Giles. He's on this Tony Robbins hyper-efficiency kick. Expects me to check in every day after homeroom. (walks off after Giles) Police? Xander starts to follow, but Willow holds him back. Willow: You didn't check to see which seminar I was assigned to, did you? Xander: I did, and you weren't. Willow: I wasn't what? Xander: On the list. Willow: But I handed in my test! I used a number two pencil! Xander: Then I guess you musta passed. Willow: It's not the kinda test you pass or fail. Xander: Your name wasn't up there, Will. Willow is a bit taken aback. Cut to the library. Giles walks to the table, balancing his stack of books. He carefully sets them down and leans over a bit to straighten the stack, but over-leans, and the books begins to fall over. He reacts quickly to try to stop them. Giles: AH! Buffy puts her hand on top of the stack just as he does, and they push it back up. Giles is relieved. Giles: (exhales) Buffy. Thank you. (she sits) I've been, uh, indexing the Watcher diaries covering the last couple of centuries. You would be amazed at how numbingly pompous and long-winded some of these Watchers were. Buffy: Color *me* stunned. Giles: So, uh, I trust last night's patrol was fruitful? Buffy: Semi. Mm, I caught one out of two vamps after they stole something from this jumbo mausoleum. Giles: They were stealing? Buffy: Yeah! They had tools, flashlights, whole nine yards. What does that mean anyway? 'Whole nine yards'? (Giles begins to pace) Nine yards of what? (whines) Now it's gonna bug me all day. Giles, you're in pace mode. What gives? Giles: Um, this vampire who escaped, did you see what he took? Buffy: No, but I could take a guess and say it was something old. Giles: You made no effort to find out what was taken? Buffy: Have a cow, Giles! I just figured it was your everyday vamp hijinks. Giles: Well, what if it wasn't? This could be very serious! I mean, i- i-if you'd made an effort to, uh, to be more thorough in your observations... Buffy: Y'know, if you don't like the way I'm doing my job, why don't you find somebody else? Oh, that's right, there can only be one. As long as I'm alive, there is no one else. Well, there you go! I don't have to be the Slayer. I could be dead. Giles: That wasn't terribly funny. You notice I don't laugh. Buffy: Wouldn't be much of a change. Either way I'm bored, constricted, I never get to shop, and my hair and fingernails still continue to grow. So really, when you think about it, what's the diff? Giles: Do we have to be introspective now? Our only concern is to discover what was stolen from that mausoleum last night. Cut to Drusilla's room. She waves her hand over an intricately carved gold cross held out to her by Spike on a red velvet pillow. Spike: This is it then? Drusilla: (senses) It hums. I can hear it. Spike: Once you're well again, we'll have a coronation down Main Street, and invite everyone, and drink for seven days and seven nights. Dalton: (behind them) What about the Slayer? She almost blew the whole thing for us. She's trouble. Spike: (looks at him) You *don't* say? (gets up) Trouble?! (paces) She's the gnat in my ear! The gristle in my teeth! She's the bloody thorn in my BLOODY SIDE! (kicks the table violently) Drusilla: (concerned) Spike? Spike: We gotta do something. We'll never complete your cure with that *bitch* breathing down our necks. (exhales) I need to bring in the big guns. They'll take care of her once and for all. Dalton: Big guns? Spike: The Order of Taraka. Dalton: The bounty hunters?! Drusilla deals three tarot cards. One is of a Cyclops, another of a centipede and the third of a panther. Drusilla: They're coming to my party. (looks up) Three of them. Spike walks back to the bed to look at the cards. Dalton: Uh, yes, but... The Order of Taraka, I mean... isn't that overkill? Spike: No, I think it's just enough kill. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The career fair in the school lounge. Xander walks into the hall at the far end and spots Willow. Xander: Willow! (they walk) What are you doing here? Fly! Be free, little bird, you defy category! Willow: I'm looking for Buffy. Xander: Oh, she went with Giles about an hour ago. Some kind of field trip deal. Willow: If she doesn't get back soon, Snyder's really... (spots him on the stairs) ...done a great job with the fair this year, hasn't he, Xander? Xander: Principal Snyder! Great career fair, sir! Really! In fact, I'm so inspired by your leadership, I'm thinking principal school. I wanna walk in *your* shoes. Not your actual shoes, of course, because you're a tiny person. Not tiny in the small sense, of course. Okay, I'm done now. Snyder: Where is she? Willow: Who? Snyder: You know who. Willow: You mean Buffy? (looks around) I just saw her... Snyder: (interrupts) And don't feed me that 'I just saw her a minute ago, she's around here somewhere' story. Willow: But I did... just see her a minute ago, and she is... *around* here somewhere! Xander: For what it's worth... Snyder: (interrupts) It's worth nothing, Harris. Whatever comes out of your mouth is a meaningless waste of breath. An airborne toxic event. Xander: Well, I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to be so honest with me. And I can only hope that one day I'm in the position to be that honest with you. Snyder: Fascinating. (leaves) Xander: (to Willow) Well, love to stay and chat, but I got an appointment with the warden on standard riot procedure. Ciao. (walks off) Willow: Okay, see ya. Two recruiters in dark suits approach Willow. Recruiter: Willow Rosenberg? (she faces them) Come with us, please? Willow: Excuse me? Recruiter: Let's walk. The two men take her by the arms and guide her to a curtained-off area of the lounge. They pull the curtain aside for Willow. She steps through and they follow her, letting the curtain fall closed again behind them. A waiter in a white jacket and black bow tie holds an hors-d'oeuvre tray up for her. Recruiter: Try the canape'. It's excellent. Willow shakes her head to the waiter, and he immediately departs. Willow: What is all this? Recruiter: You've been selected to meet with Mr. McCarthy, head recruiter for the world's leading software concern. The jet was delayed by fog at Sea-Tac, but he should be here any minute. Please, (indicates the couch) make yourself comfortable. Willow: But I didn't even get my test back. Recruiter: The test was irrelevant. We've been tracking you for some time. Willow: Is that a good thing? Recruiter: I would think so. We're extremely selective. In fact, only one other Sunnydale student met our criteria. Without another word the two recruiters turn and leave through the curtain. Willow is a bit stunned, but stays and turns around to see who the other student is. Oz is sitting there on the couch studying another tray of canape'. She steps over to the couch and sits down on the other end. She folds her hands in her lap and looks over at Oz. He notices someone sit and turns to look. When he sees her he does a double take and realizes she's the girl he's noticed twice before. He looks down at the tray in his hand and offers it to her. Oz: Canape'? Cut to a cemetery entrance. Buffy swings open the metal gate and strides in, holding a flashlight. Giles is running to catch up with her. Giles: Buffy! Slow down! Please! Buffy: Giles, we have work to do, remember? Get with the program. Giles holds his chest as he breathes hard to catch his breath from running after her. They continue walking to the mausoleum. Giles: You're behaving remarkably im-immaturely. (pant) Buffy: You know why? I *am* immature. I'm a teen. I have yet to mature. Giles: I was (pant) simply offering some (pant) constructive criticism. (pant) Buffy: No! You were harsh! God, you act like I picked this gig. But remember, I'm the picked. Giles: What you have (pant) is more than (pant) a gig. (pant) It's a sacred duty. (pant) Which (pant) shouldn't prevent you from e-e- eventually procuring some (pant) more (pant) gainful f-f-form of employment. Uh-uh-uh, such as I did. Buffy: Uh, Giles, it's one thing to be a Watcher and a librarian. They go together like chicken and... another chicken, or... two chickens, or... something, you know what I'm saying! The point is, no one blinks an eye if you want to spend all your days with books. What am I supposed to do? Carve stakes for a nursery? Giles has gotten in front of her as they make their way past several gravestones. Giles: Um, point taken. I must, however, admit, I-I've never really... Well, now there's a thought, have you ever considered law enforcement? Buffy stops in her tracks as Giles turns to face her. She looks at him like he's crazy. A moment later her expression changes to exasperation, and she raises her flashlight and jerks it at the mausoleum behind him. Giles: What? (turns to look) Oh! They walk up the steps and go in. Cut inside. The chamber is bare except for two large stone vases and a pile of rubble on the floor. They come down the steps. Giles: May I? (reaches for the flashlight) Buffy: (hands it to him) Be my guest. He turns on the flashlight and walks over to where the wall has been broken into. Giles: It's a reliquary. Used to house items of religious significance. Most commonly a finger or some other body part from a saint. Buffy: Note to self: religion: freaky. She leans against the wall as Giles scans around the rest of the room with the flashlight. He spots a name engraved on a stone high above. Giles: Du Lac. Oh dear, oh dear. Buffy: I hate when you say that. Giles: Josephus du Lac was buried here. He belonged to a religious sect that was excommunicated by the Vatican at the turn of the century. Buffy: Excommunicated *and* sent to Sunnydale. There's a guy big with the sinning. Giles: You remember the book that was stolen from the library by a vampire a few weeks ago? Buffy: Yeah. Giles: It was written by Du Lac. Damn it! I let it slip my mind with all the excitement. Buffy: I'm guessing it wasn't a 'Taste of the Vatican' cookbook. They start out of the mausoleum. Giles: No, the, uh, book was said to contain rituals and spells that reap unspeakable evil. However, it was written in archaic Latin so that nobody but the sect members could understand it. Cut outside. Buffy: So, everything's cool then. Giles: It's not. First the book was taken from the library, and now the vampires have stolen something from Du Lac's tomb. Buffy: You think they figured out how to read the book? Giles: Something's coming, Buffy, and whatever it is, I can guarantee it's not good. Cut to the Sunnydale bus depot. The camera pans from the depot building to a bus just arriving as the announcement is being made. Announcement: Bus 219, continuing service to Los Angeles, now arriving in Sunnydale at the west gate. The doors of the bus open, and the passengers begin to file out. Cut to the bottom step of the bus. A pair of heavy steel-toed boots stops on the step. The camera pans up the man's body past his leather jacket and long hair to his face. A scar runs across his left eye, apparently blinded by an injury. He looks around and steps off of the bus. Cut to the street in front of the Summers house. A salesman comes walking along the street carrying a large case and eyes the 'Summers' nameplate hanging from their mailbox. He looks up at the house, but continues past to the next house and walks up to the front door. He knocks, and a woman answers. Norman: Mrs. Kalish? Mrs. Kalish: Yes? Norman: Hello, I'm Norman Pfister with (holds up the case) Blush Beautiful Skin Care. I'm not selling anything, so I'm not asking you to buy, just to accept a few free samples. Mrs. Kalish: (takes off her glasses) Free? Norman: Absolutely. Mrs. Kalish looks him up and down and nods him into her home. He walks in and she follows him, closing the door behind her. The camera closes in on the door, and Mrs. Kalish screams loudly. Cut to the airport. Mrs. Kalish's scream blends into the noise of a 747 flying overhead as it comes in for a landing. Cut to a view of the tarmac. Several jets are parked at their gates. Cut inside the cargo bay of a jet. The cargo door opens, and a baggage handler comes up the loading ramp and steps in. He notices that the cargo nets have been torn open, and takes off his headphones. Handler: What the hell? He looks closer and suspects someone's there. Handler: Hey, you're not supposed to be in here! He pulls out his flashlight and holds it ready to use as a club. Handler: Hey, c'mon! He walks in further, looking for whoever it is. He sees a shadow moving behind a baggage container. Suddenly a foot comes up and kicks him in the face, in the gut and again in the face. He falls onto his back unconscious. The person walks toward the cargo door and peeks out. It's a young Caribbean girl with long curly hair tied back and large hoop earrings. She makes her way out of the plane, keeping a careful watch for anyone who might see her. Cut to the school. Cut to the library. Willow, Buffy and Xander are sitting at the table. Willow: So Giles is sure that the vampire who stole his book is connected to the one you slayed last night? Or is it slew? Giles: (comes out of the stacks with a National Geographic magazine) Both are correct, and, yes, I'm sure. Du Lac was both a, a... a theologian and a mathematician. (comes down the stairs) This article describes an invention of his, which he called 'The Du Lac Cross'. Xander: So, why go to all the trouble of inventing something, and then giving it a weak name like that? I mean, I'da gone with 'The Cross-o- matic', or, uh, 'The Amazing Mr. Cross'. The girls just stare at him. He looks up at Giles and nods. Giles doesn't think his musings are funny either. Giles: The cross was more than a mere symbol, (hands the open magazine to Willow) it was used to understand certain mystical texts, to, uh, decipher hidden meanings and so forth. Buffy: So you're saying these vampires went to all this hassle for your basic decoder ring? Giles: (taken aback by the metaphor) Uh, actually, yes, I, I suppose I am. Willow: According to this, Du Lac destroyed every cross except the one buried with him. Buffy: Why destroy your own work? Giles: (paces) Perhaps he feared what might happen if it fell into the wrong hands. Xander: A fear we'll soon get to experience for ourselves up close and personal. Giles: U-unless we can preempt their plans. Willow: How? Giles: Uh, by learning what's in the book before they do. Which means we can expect to be here later tonight. (sits) Willow: (smiles broadly) Goody! Research party! Xander: Will, you need a life in the worst way. Buffy: (gets up) Speaking of, I really have to bail, but I promise I'll be back bright and early tomorrow and ready to slay. Giles: This is a matter of some urgency, Buffy. Buffy: I realize that. Well, you have to admit, I kinda lack in the book area. I mean, you guys are the brains, I'd only be here for moral support anyway. Xander: That's untrue, Buffy, you totally contribute. You go for snacks! Buffy looks to Willow for help. Willow: She *should* go. Y-y'know, gather her strength. Giles: Perhaps you're right. There may be fierce battles ahead. Buffy makes tracks for the door. Xander: But Ho-Hos are a vital part of my cognitive process! Buffy: (smiles back at him) Sorry, Xand. Someplace I have to be. Giles and Xander give each other a look. Cut to the ice skating rink. The place is empty except for Buffy skating gracefully by herself. She makes use of the whole rink, doing practiced turns and spins. A minute later Buffy skates quickly by the staging area, and the camera stops to focus on a stage panel begin pushed open. The one-eyed bounty hunter looks in at her. [SCENE_BREAK] ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The ice-skating rink. Buffy skates along, still by herself. She does a crouching maneuver, but wipes out and slides backward against the sidewall. As she starts to get up the bounty hunter reaches down, puts his arm around her neck and lifts her off of the ice. He lays her down on the railing and begins to choke her. Buffy tries to pry his hands from her throat as she struggles to breathe. Angel comes running across the ice, sporting his game face. Angel: Buffy! He leaps and tackles the bounty hunter, knocking him off of Buffy. She falls from the railing onto the ice with her knee. Angel lifts the bounty hunter to his feet and punches him in the face. The bounty hunter isn't fazed, and returns with a double-fisted punch to Angel's stomach, sending him back into the wall. Angel comes off the wall and jabs him in the face again, but the bounty hunter just shrugs it off. He punches Angel in the face and gut, making him stagger into the wall again. The bounty hunter grabs Angel by the throat and lifts him up. Buffy comes skating toward them at a fast pace. The bounty hunter turns to face her. She grabs a net that's hanging there and uses it to swing up with her foot and hit him in the throat with the blade of her skate, crushing his trachea. He lets go of Angel and grabs his own neck, unable to breathe. He takes a few steps onto the ice and collapses there, dead. Cut to Drusilla's bed. She takes the tarot card of the Cyclops and turns it over. Drusilla: He's passing under our feet right now. Spike: No worries. We're close to decoding the manuscript. We just need a bit more time. Drusilla: Time is ours. It brings the Slayer closer to them. The camera pans from the face down card over to the other two, still turned face up. Cut to the skating rink. Buffy rubs her knee. Angel crouches over the bounty hunter and lifts his hand to inspect his ring. Buffy: The Hellmouth presents: Dead Guys On Ice. Not exactly the evening we were aiming for. Angel looks closely at the ring. Angel: You're in danger. You know what the ring means? Buffy: I just killed a Super Bowl champ? Angel: (annoyed) I'm serious! You should go home and wait until you hear from me. He drops the bounty hunter's hand and stands up. He still has his game face on. Buffy skates over to him. Angel: Are you okay? She puts her gloved hand on his cheek and sees the cut above his eye. Buffy: What about you? That cut! (lowers her hand) Angel: Forget about me. This is bad, Buffy. We gotta get you outta here. Buffy: What, you mean hide? Angel: Let's just get you someplace safe! Buffy: No! Your eye! She reaches back up to him and he shakes her off. Buffy: Hey! Don't be a baby. I'm not gonna hurt you. Angel: It's not that. I... Buffy: What? Angel: You shouldn't have to touch me when I'm like this. She looks up into his vampire features. Buffy: Oh. She removes her glove and reaches up to touch his brow and his wound, brushing gently across and down his cheek. Buffy: I didn't even notice. She moves closer to kiss him. He responds, and they kiss gently. The kiss becomes more passionate as she reaches her hand behind his neck to draw him closer. Off to the side the girl from the airport walks up and stops, observing their kiss. Angel puts his arms around Buffy, and she rises up onto the tips of her skates to get even closer. Cut to the library. Giles inspects the ring under a magnifying lamp. Buffy is sitting on the steps holding an icepack to her knee. Willow and Xander are at the table. Buffy: This guy was hard-core, Giles. And Angel was power-freaked by that ring. Giles: I'm afraid he was not overreacting. This ring is worn only by members of the Order of Taraka. It's a society of deadly assassins dating back to King Solomon. (sits) Xander: And didn't they beat the Elks this year in the Sunnydale adult bowling league championships? Giles: Their credo is to sow discord and kill the unwary. Xander: Bowling is a vicious game. Giles: (very annoyed) That's enough, Xander! Xander looks down in shame. Buffy and Willow look concerned and upset. Giles: Sorry. It's just not the time for jokes. I need to think. (takes off his glasses) Buffy: These assassins, why are they after me? Willow: 'Cause you're the scourge of the underworld? Buffy: I haven't been that scourgey lately. Giles: (rubbing his eyes) I don't know, I don't know. (exhales) I think the best thing we can do is to find a secure location. Somewhere out of the way you can go until we decide on the best course of action. Buffy: (gets up) Okay, now you and Angel have both said to head for the hills. Are you saying I can't handle this, that I'm not strong enough to fight these people? Giles: They're a breed apart, Buffy. U-unlike vampires they have no earthly desires, (Willow listens in shock) but to collect their bounty. They find a target, and, uh... they eliminate it. (Buffy absorbs this solemnly) You can kill as many of them as you like, it won't make any difference. Where there's one, there will be another, and another. They won't stop coming until the job is done. Cut to a view of Buffy's house through binoculars from Mrs. Kalish's house. Giles: Each one of them works alone. Cut to Norman looking through his binoculars. Giles: His own way. Cut to the floor. Mrs. Kalish is lying there dead. A trail of mealworms leads from her over to Norman sitting in a chair. Giles: Some are human, some... a-are not. Y-you won't know who they are until they strike. Norman takes the binoculars from his eyes. There are mealworms crawling over his shoes. His hand and part of his forearm are missing, and the mealworms crawl all over it. They quickly form a hand, and it takes on the appearance of human skin. He reaches over to a cup of tea and lifts it to take a sip. Cut to the halls at school. Buffy is wigged and tense as she walks down the hall. She holds her hands to the back of her neck and shoulders. She jumps when a boy barges through the doors in the hall in front of her. She walks through the doors and scans the students in the hall, paranoid about them looking at her. The police recruiter looks at her, and she stares back. A teacher comes down the stairs in front of her and looks at her as he runs a comb through his hair. Several students walk past her, giving her the occasional glance. Behind her Oz comes walking at a quick pace. She hears a locker slam behind her and spins toward the noise, notices Oz quickly bearing down on her, takes him by the neck and shoves him into the wall. Buffy: Try it! Oz: (confused) Try what? She realizes she's made a mistakes and lets go of his neck. Buffy: Uh... (exhales) I-I'm sorry. Oz: Still not clear what I'm supposed to try. Buffy: Nothing. God, I'm... sorry, I... She steps away from him, looks both ways down the hall and quickly heads off in the direction she was going. Oz moves away from the wall and shudders. Oz: That is a tense person. Cut to Buffy's street at night. Buffy walks home alone, arms crossed and scanning the area around her. When she reaches her house she stops and just stares at it. She thinks better of going inside, looks around again and continues on. Cut to the library. Giles walks out of his office cleaning his glasses. Willow is sitting at the counter going through a volume. Willow: I wish there was more we could do. Giles: We're doing all that we can. (puts on his glasses) The only course of action is to try and find out what was in that stolen book. (reads a card from the catalog) Willow: I've never seen Buffy like that. She just took off. Xander: (coming in) Well, she didn't go home. I let the phone ring a few hundred times before I remembered her mom is out of town. Giles: Well, maybe Buffy unplugged the phone. Xander: No, it's a statistical impossibility for a sixteen-year-old girl to unplug her phone. Willow nods in agreement. Giles: Well, perhaps my words of caution were... a little too alarming. Xander: (with heavy sarcasm) Ya think? Willow: It's good that she took you seriously, Giles. I just wish we knew where she was. Cut to the hall outside Angel's apartment. Buffy comes down the stairs and walks over to his door. There's no answer when she knocks. Buffy: Angel? She tries the doorknob, but it's locked. Cut inside. She twists the knob hard, breaking it and opening the door. She slowly comes in, has a look around and closes the door. She turns on the lights. The apartment is sparsely furnished. A modern desk strewn with papers is against the far wall with a dozen old pictures hanging on the wall around it. The floor is bare concrete, and her heels click quietly as she slowly walks over to an ivory statue enclosed in a glass display case. She looks at it a moment before going on. She looks around as she continues, and passes an elegant antique armoire. Finally she finds his unmade bed, and slowly goes over to it and sits down. She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, weary from the day's events. A moment later she lays herself down on the bed, resting her head on his pillow and curling up. She hugs her arms close to her heart and falls asleep. Cut to a sleazy bar. Willy is sweeping up the place after hours. Angel appears in the shadow of the doorway. Willy: We're closed! Can't you read the sign? Angel steps into the light. Willy: Oh, uh... hey, Angel. I didn't recognize you in the dark there. What, uh... what can I do for you tonight? Angel: I need some information. Willy: Yeah? Man, that's too bad, 'cause... I'm stayin' away from that whole scene. I'm livin' right, Angel. Angel slowly walks past the booths over to the pinball machine. Angel: Sure you are, Willy. And I'm taking up sunbathing. Willy: C'mon, man. Don't be that way! I-I treat you vamps good! I-I-I-I don't hassle you, you don't hassle me... We all enjoy the patronage of this establishment. Everybody's happy, right? Angel: Who sent them? Willy: Who sent who? Angel: (stops at the pinball machine) The Order of Taraka. Willy: I-I... I tell ya, I haven't been in the loop. Angel: Let's try again. The Order of Taraka, they're after the Slayer. (crosses over to the bar) Willy: C'mon, man. Angel: Was it Spike? (steps toward Willy) Willy: Look, Angel, I-I got some good pigs' blood in, good stuff, my fence said... Angel grabs Willy and smacks his head into the bar. Willy knocks a half- empty pitcher of beer onto the floor. Angel presses down hard on Willy's head with his hand. Willy: Damn it! Ah... Angel: You know, I'm a little rusty when it comes to killing humans. It could take a while. Willy: Oh, Spike will draw and quarter me, man! Angel: I'll take care of Spike. Willy: You know he ordered those guys! Spike's sick of your girl getting in his way! Angel: Where can I find him? Willy: I tell you that, I'm gonna need relocating expenses! It'll cost you! Angel: (presses harder) It'll cost who? Willy: Okay! Okay! He and that freaky chick of his are... He is interrupted by someone kicking Angel in the face. Angel falls back onto the floor dazed and looks up at his attacker. It's the girl from the airport. She grabs Willy's broom, breaks the end of the handle off and attacks Angel with the makeshift stake. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Willy's bar. Angel rolls out of the way of the girl's thrust. Willy takes the opportunity to flee the bar. Angel is up again, and he ducks a swing from her. She tries a direct thrust, which Angel just pushes aside, but she follows it up with a punch to the face from her other hand and uses her momentum to spin around for a roundhouse kick, knocking him through the door into the back room. He crashes into several cases of beer. When he gets back up he's vamped out. The girl charges him with the stake held above her head in both hands. He blocks her charge with his arms and twists her arms down, forcing her to drop the stake, and shoves her into a bank of lockers. He tries to knock her legs out from under her, but her footing is firm and she kicks him in the back, knocking him down instead. Once down he tries kicking again, and this time makes her fall. She grabs his shirt, pulls him up a bit and kicks him in the face. They both scramble to their feet. Angel swings and misses. He swings the other way, but she blocks it and punches him three times in the gut and then a right hook to his jaw. She shoves him into the door of the cage. He bounces off of it and she kicks him in the chest, making him stumble backward through the cage door and into a bunch of empty water bottles. Several cans fall onto him from a shelf above. She looks at him with cold eyes as he recovers from his fall. Angel: Who are you? If you tell me what I need to know I won't hurt you. She laughs as she steps back. Angel: You think this is funny? She swings closed the cage door and sets the bolt. Angel scrambles to his feet and slams up against the door. Kendra: I tink it is funny now. Dat girl. De one I saw you wit before? Angel: You stay away from her. Kendra: I'm afraid you are not in a position to treaten. Angel: When I get outta here I'll do more than threaten! Kendra: Den I suggest ya move quickly. (looks up at the windows) Eastern exposure. De sun will be comin' in a few hours. (padlocks the cage) More dan enough time for me to find your girlfriend. Angel screams in anger and slams the cage with his hand. Cut to the library after sunrise. Giles is at his desk studying a book while holding the phone, waiting for Xander to answer. Giles: Xander? (pauses) No, no, I-I haven't heard from Buffy yet. Look, look, I-I-I think you should go to her house and check on her. (pauses) Well, ri-right a, right away. (pauses) I-I-I don't know, get Cordelia to drive you. He hangs up without waiting for a response. He picks up the book he's reading and heads back into the main room with it. There he sees Willow asleep in front of the PC with her head resting on the keyboard. He closes his book, crouches slightly and gently places his hand on her shoulder to wake her. Giles: (quietly) Willow? Willow wakes with a start and sits bolt upright. Willow: Don't warn the tadpoles! Giles: Are you alright? Willow: Giles, what are you doing here? Giles: It's the library, Willow. You fell asleep. Willow: (looks around) Oh! I... Giles: Don't warn the tadpoles? Willow: (groggy) I... I have frog fear. Giles: Oh. Willow: I'm sorry. I conked out. Giles: What? Please. You've gone quite beyond the call of duty. (sits) But, but, I-I... uh, fortunately, I think I may have found something finally. Willow: You did? Giles: I-I found a-a description of the missing Du Lac manuscript. It's a ritual, Willow. Now, I-I, uh... (gets up to pace) I haven't managed to decipher the exact details, but I-I... I believe the purpose is to restore a weak and sick vampire back to full health. Willow: A vampire like Drusilla? Giles: Exactly. Cut to Drusilla's room. Dalton slams the Du Lac manuscript shut and hands Spike his handwritten pages of translation. Spike looks at it, reads a bit and smiles. Spike: By George, I think he's got it! (walks to Drusilla in bed) The key to your cure, ducks. The missing bloody link, it was... Drusilla: (weakly) ...Right, right in front of us... the whole time. She takes Spike's hand and pulls it down to her deck of tarot cards. The top card is a picture of an angel. Cut to the street in front of Buffy's house. Xander and Cordelia walk up to her house. Cordelia: I can't even believe you. You dragged me out of bed for a ride? What am I, mass transportation? Xander: That's what a lot of the guys say, but it's just locker room talk. I wouldn't pay it any mind. Cordelia: Oh, great, so now I'm your taxi *and* your punching bag. Xander: I like to think of you more as my witless foil, but have it your way. He takes the steps up to the porch and knocks on the door. He looks in through the glass. Xander: Buffy! When he doesn't see anyone stirring inside he walks over to the window. Xander: C'mon, Cordelia. You wanna be a member of the Scooby Gang you gotta be willing to be inconvenienced every now and then. (tries a window) Cordelia: Oh, right, 'cause I lie awake at night hoping you tweakos will be my best friends. Xander tries another window. Cordelia: And that my first husband will be a balding, demented homeless man. Xander: (gets the window open) Buffy could be in trouble. (steps through the window) Cordelia: And what if she is exactly? What are you gonna do about it? In case you haven't noticed, (he opens the door for her) you're the lameness and she's the super chick, or whatever. Xander: Well, at least I'm the lameness who cares, which is more than I can say about you. (into the house) Buffy! I'm gonna check upstairs. Cordelia comes in and closes the door behind her. Xander climbs the stairs. Xander: Buffy? Cordelia spins her keys around as she walks into the living room and looks around. She hears a knocking at the door and goes to answer it. When she opens it Norman is standing there. Norman: Good day. I'm Norman Pfister with Blush Beautiful (holds up his case) Skin Care and Cosmetics. I was wondering if I might interest you in some free samples? Cordelia: (smiles) Free? She steps aside to admit him and closes the door. Cut to the back room at the bar. Sunlight is streaming through the window and is starting to shine into the cage. Angel slams against the door, trying to break it open, but can't get it to budge. He tries prying at the top, but no luck. He pushes against the door again. Cut to Angel's apartment. Buffy is sleeping on his bed. She stirs and wakes. She hears a noise, opens her eyes to look up and immediately rolls to the far side of the bed as a hatchet strikes the pillow where her head was. It's Kendra, and she swings again and hits the mattress when Buffy sidesteps the blow. Buffy does a flip over Kendra's back and onto the floor behind her, ready to fight. Buffy: You must be number two!

To get help killing Buffy while he intensifies his search for Dru's cure, Spike calls upon the Order of Taraka. Buffy is attacked by a series of assassins, including her heir "Kendra, the Vampire Slayer", who was called when Buffy died at the end of Season 1 and initially mistakes Buffy for a vampire. Kendra, having seen "vampire" Buffy kissing vampire Angel, has already taken Angel out of the picture.

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Scene: The apartment. Leonard is working on a whiteboard. Sheldon: Oh, boy. Leonard: What? Sheldon: I can't comment without violating our agreement that I don't criticize your work. Leonard: Then what was oh, boy? Sheldon: Great restraint on my part. Leonard: There's nothing wrong with the science here. Sheldon: Perhaps you mean a different thing than I do when you say science. Leonard (making a change): Okay, how's that? Sheldon: You actually had it right in the first place. Once again, you've fallen for one of my classic pranks. Bazinga! Well, now here's a peculiar e-mail. The president of the university wants me to meet him at his office tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. Leonard: Why? Sheldon: It doesn't say. It must be an emergency. Everyone at the university knows I eat breakfast at eight and move my bowels at 8:20. Leonard: Yes, how did we live before Twitter? I guess you'll find out what it is in the morning. Sheldon: That's 14 hours away. For the next 840 minutes, I'm effectively one of Heisenberg's particles, I know where I am or I know how fast I'm going, but I can't know both. Yet how am I supposed to carry on with this huge annoying thing hovering over my head? Leonard: Yeah, I know the feeling. Credits sequence. Scene: Outside Leonard's bedroom. Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard. (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard. (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard. Leonard: Sheldon, it's two o'clock in the morning. Sheldon: Why is everybody keep telling me what time it is? Leonard: Everybody? Sheldon: You, the president of the university, his wife, their sullen teenage daughter. That entire family is fascinated by what time it is and whether people know it. Leonard: You went to President Seibert's house in the middle of the night? Sheldon: He didn't respond to my e-mail, his phone number is unlisted. Tell me what my other option was. Leonard: You could have waited until morning. I know, look who I'm talking to. Sheldon: Do you remember the grant proposal I submitted to the National Science Foundation to detect slow-moving monopoles at the magnetic North Pole? Leonard: Hardly a day goes by when I don't think about it. Sheldon: Aw, how nice. Well, a space opened up at the last minute on the NSF expedition to the Arctic Circle. Leonard: Wait a minute. He offered to send you to the North Pole? Sheldon: Yes. In fact, he was quite enthusiastic. He said, "Frankly, if I could send you tonight, I would." Leonard: Okay, well, do you want to go? Sheldon: Of course not. I'm a theoretical physicist, a career I chose in no small part because it's indoors, but if I'm able to detect slow-moving magnetic monopoles there, I will be the scientist to confirm string theory. People will write books about me. Third-graders will create macaroni-art dioramas depicting scenes from my life. Leonard: Sure, maybe a tableau of me trying to pummel you to death. Sheldon: Sarcasm? Leonard: Maybe. Sheldon: I'm on the horns of a dilemma. Can you imagine me, Sheldon Cooper, at the North Pole? Leonard: Easy peasy, I'm doing it right now. Sheldon: I'm not good with cold, Leonard. How often have we had to leave a movie theatre because I got a headache from drinking the Icee too fast? I can't go. Leonard: Well, then don't go. Sheldon: How can you say that? The scientific opportunity of a lifetime presents itself and my best friend says don't go. Leonard: All right, then go. Sheldon: Listen to you. How can I possibly go? Leonard: Sheldon, what are the words I can say right now to end this conversation and let me go back to sleep? Sheldon: Odd, President Seibert posed the exact same question. Leonard: How was it resolved? Sheldon: It wasn't. His wife set their dogs on me and rendered the question moot. Scene: The stairwell. Howard: Just imagine. If he says yes, we'll have an entire summer without Sheldon. Raj: We could play outside. Howard: We could sit on the left side of the couch. Leonard: I could use the bathroom at 8:20. Raj: Our dreams are very small, aren't they? Sheldon: Good news, gentlemen, I have tentatively accepted... All: Yeah! Woo-hoo! Sheldon: ...the invitation to join the Arctic Expedition. Leonard: It's not gonna be the same without you. Howard: Godspeed. Sheldon: Thank you, but your sentiments may be premature. Raj: Ooh, I don't like where this is going. Sheldon: I would like to propose that the three of you accompany me. Howard: To the North Pole? Sheldon: Yes. Raj: Is this just so we won't touch your stuff while you're away? Sheldon: I'll admit that was a concern. But the fact is, I'll need a support team. And the three of you are my first choice. Howard: Really? Sheldon: Well, there are others who might be more qualified, but the thought of interviewing them gave me a stomach ache. Now, I know I'm proposing an enormous undertaking, so why don't you take a few moments to discuss it? Howard: We're not really gonna go to the North Pole with him, are we? Sheldon (voice): I'm still within earshot! You may want to wait for my door to close. Howard: We're not really gonna go to the North Pole with him, are we? Leonard: Hang on. Let's talk about it. This is a National Science Foundation expedition. I don't know how we can turn it down. Howard: Easy. Instead of saying, no, we don't want to go on an NSF expedition, say, no, we don't want to spend "three months stuck in a cabin in the Arctic Circle with an a**l nutbag." Raj: But if we were part of the team that confirmed string theory, we could drink for free in any bar in any college town with a university that has a strong science program. Leonard: Howard, this is big science. You could be the engineer who builds the equipment that puts us on the cover of magazines. Howard: I could also be the engineer who builds the crossbow that kills Sheldon. Raj: You still might get on a magazine. Howard: So you guys are seriously considering this? Leonard: Yes. Howard: And you think you can put up with Sheldon? Raj: Well, I'm a Hindu. My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life we are rewarded in the next. Three months at the North Pole with Sheldon and I'm reborn as a well-hung billionaire with wings! Sheldon: Well, gentlemen, have you reached a decision? Leonard: I'm in. Raj: Me, too. Howard: Oh, damn it. Peer pressure. Fine. Sheldon: Excellent. And just an FYI, as I am the expedition's team leader, protocol dictates that be phrased fine, sir. But don't worry, there will be a briefing. Scene: Outside Penny's door. Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Penny. Penny: (Knock, knock, knock) Sheldon. Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Penny. Penny: (Knock, knock, knock) Sheldon. Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Penny. Penny: (Knock, knock, knock) Sheldon. Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Penny. Penny: (Knock, knock, knock) Sheldon. Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Penny. Penny: (Knock, knock, knock) Sheldon. Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Penny. Penny: (Knock, knock, knock) Sheldon. Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Penny. Penny: What do you want? Sheldon: I need access to the Cheesecake Factory's walk-in freezer. Penny: Now, honey, I already told you, the hamburger meat is fresh and stored at a safe temperature. Sheldon: No. This is to train for a three-month expedition to the magnetic North Pole. Penny: What? Sheldon: I don't know how that sentence could possibly confuse you, but to elaborate, I'm going to the Arctic Circle with Leonard, Wolowitz and Koothrappali. Penny: You're all going? Sheldon: Yes. Penny: For three months? Sheldon: Yes. Penny: Excuse me. Sheldon: Is that a yes or a no on the freezer? The woman has the attention span of a gnat. Penny: Hey, Leonard. Leonard: Hi. Penny: Sheldon says you're going to the North Pole. Leonard: Yeah. Pretty cool, huh? Penny: Yeah. I'm just a little surprised you didn't tell me. Leonard: Oh, well, it all happened kind of fast, and we had to get physicals and buy thermal underwear and study up on, you know, snow and stuff. Sorry, I was gonna tell you. Penny: Oh, hey, no, you don't have to apologize. There's no reason you have to tell me. I was just, you know, surprised. Sheldon: Yes, yes, you were busy, you were surprised, all very fascinating. Now where do we stand on the freezer? Penny: Is he serious? Leonard: Actually, it would help. Penny: All right, I'll see what I can do. So, three months at the North Pole. Wow, that is awesome. Leonard: Yeah. Sheldon: I'm sorry, but at what point do you put this see what you can do plan into action? Penny: Just a warning, Sheldon, the freezer locks from the outside. Leonard: Did she seem upset to you? Sheldon: No. Did she seem upset to you? Leonard: No. Sheldon: Oh, good, I got it right. Are you upset? Leonard: A little bit. Sheldon: Two for two. I'm on fire. Leonard: I mean, I know she's not my girlfriend or anything, but wouldn't you think she'd feel a little bad that I'm going to be gone for the whole summer? Sheldon: That feels like a bonus question. I'm going to stop here while I'm ahead, but I've had a great time. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene: Inside the cheesecake factory freezer. Sheldon: Alright, now the purpose of this drill is to acclimate us to the use of tools in extreme temperatures such as we will face in the Arctic Circle. Raj: Where are your tools? Sheldon (pointing at his brain): Right here. All right, team, open up your practice kits. As the university did not permit me to bring the actual equipment we'll be using to the Cheesecake Factory, because apparently I'm "ridiculous," I've provided substitutes which will exercise your fine motor skills. Leonard, you will be doing a series of complex mathematical problems on a vintage Casio model 1175 calculator watch I received when I won the Earth Science medal in 3rd grade. Treat it with respect. Raj, you will be painting sideburns and a Van Dyke on a six-inch figurine of Legolas the elf. Now, remember, a Van Dyke is a goatee without a moustache. Wolowitz, you will be completing a series of delicate surgical procedures on the classic children's game, Operation. To begin with, you will remove funny bone for two hundred dollars. Howard: For this I went to MIT. Sheldon: And begin. Raj: I think I swallowed some paint! Leonard: I can't press any of the buttons with my gloves. Oh, son of a bitch! Sheldon: Adversity is to be expected. Continue. Howard: Oh, boy, am I gonna get sued. Leonard: Okay, I can't do this. Raj: Me either. Sheldon: Gentlemen, use your imagination. Innovate. Did Han Solo let Luke Skywalker freeze to death on the ice planet of Hoth? No. He cut open a tauntaun and used its internal body heat to warm him up. Howard: You heard the man. Hold him down and I'll cut him open. Leonard: Hang on, I know I don't possess the tools of leadership, but I don't understand why we can't assemble the equipment inside the hut and then take it outside. Sheldon: I hadn't thought of that. I guess we're done here. Scene: The apartment kitchen. Sheldon: Here, drink slash eat this. Leonard: What is it? Sheldon: It's hot chocolate with a stick of butter. Howard: Okay, why? Sheldon: Because in the frigid temperatures in the Arctic, we need to consume at least 5,000 calories a day just to maintain our body weight. Leonard: Sheldon, you know I can't eat butter. I'm lactose intolerant. Sheldon: Way ahead of you, that's an "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" stick. Raj (on his webcam): But mummy, all the other guys are going to the North Pole. Mrs Koothrappali: I don't care what the other guys are doing. If the other guys jumped in the Bay of Bengal and tried to swim to Sri Lanka, would you follow them? Raj: If you were standing behind me nagging, I might. Dr Koothrappali: Don't talk back to your mother. This trip is much too dangerous, Rajesh. Raj: No, it's not. Howard, tell them. Howard: Doctor and Mrs. Koothrappali, namaste. I understand your concern, but if it'll make you feel any better, my mother is fine with me going, and this is a woman who kept a safety rail on my bed until I was 17. Mrs Koothrappali: So, she has no problem with her son being eaten by a walrus? Sheldon: That's very unlikely, Mrs. Koothrappali. If Raj dies, it'll be from frostbite, gangrene, acute sunburn or being ripped to shreds by a fifteen hundred pound polar bear. Howard: Ma, I'm putting you on speakerphone with Raj's parents. Can you tell them that you're okay with me going to the Arctic? Howard's Mother: Arctic? I thought you said Arkansas! Howard: I didn't say that. You never listen to me! Howard's Mother: He doesn't tell me anything! He lives a secret life because he's ashamed! Penny (arriving): Hey, Leonard, can I talk to you for a sec? Leonard: Sure, but let's go out here where there's a little less yelling and guilt. What's up? Penny: Well, I got you a little going away present. Leonard: Oh, a blanket. Penny: Oh, no, no, no, not just a blanket. See, it has sleeves. Yeah! So, you can, you know, be all snoodled up while you do your science stuff. Leonard: Oh, wow, cool. Penny: Oh, I'm gonna miss you. (She hugs him for a long time) See you later. Leonard: Bye. Mrs Koothrappali: I told you no. Why don't you believe me? Howard's Mother: 'Cause it doesn't make sense to me! How can it be that in the entire country of India, there isn't one Outback Steakhouse?! Scene: Sheldon's bedroom. Sheldon is asleep. There is a knock on the door. Leonard: Sheldon, Sheldon? Sheldon: I want a cookie, Meemaw. Leonard: Sheldon, it's me. Sheldon: But Meemaw just made cookies. Leonard: Listen, I don't know if I can go on the expedition. Sheldon: What? Leonard: I don't think I can go to the North Pole. Sheldon: Okay, Leonard, I know you're concerned about disappointing me but I want you to take comfort from the knowledge that my expectations of you are very low. Leonard: Yeah, that's very comforting. Sheldon: Comforting is a part of leadership. It's not a part I care for, but such is my burden. Leonard: Terrific, it's just that I don't think Penny wants me to go. Sheldon: Assuming that's a valid reason not to go, which it isn't, how do you know this? Did she say it? Leonard: Not exactly. But she said she was gonna miss me and she gave me this. Sheldon: What is it? Leonard: It's a blanket with sleeves. Sheldon: Oh, that's clever. Let me see if I understand this correctly. Her missing you is an emotional state you find desirable? Leonard: Yes, obviously. Sheldon: All right. Well, given that missing you is predicated on you leaving, logic dictates you must leave. Leonard: Yes, okay, but I'm gonna be gone for three months. What if she doesn't miss me that long and she meets someone else? Sheldon: She does have a short attention span. Leonard: So, I can't go. Sheldon: Leonard, you may be right. It appears that Penny secretly wants you in her life in a very intimate and carnal fashion. Leonard: You really think so? Sheldon: Of course not. Even in my sleep-deprived state, I've managed to pull off another one of my classic pranks. Bazinga! Scene: Outside Penny's door. Leonard is knocking. Penny: Oh, Leonard, what time is it? Leonard: It's 7 a.m. I'm sorry it's early, but we're leaving soon, and I needed to talk to you. Penny: Okay. Leonard: What did you mean when you said you're going to miss me? Penny: Um, I don't know. You'll be gone and I'll notice. Leonard (indicating the blanket): Okay, well, um, what about this? What does this mean? Penny: Wine, credit card and late night television are a bad combination. Leonard: All right, fine. What about that really long hug? What did that mean? Penny: That wasn't a long hug. Leonard: It was at least five Mississippis. A standard hug is two Mississippis tops. Penny: Leonard, I don't know what to tell you. It was just a hug. Leonard: Glad we cleared that up. Penny: Yeah. Leonard: I guess I'll see you. Penny: Okay, have a safe trip. Leonard: Thank you. Bye. Penny: Okay, bye. (Penny closes door. To herself) Means I wish you weren't going. Scene: The North Pole. Leonard: Damn it. Howard: What? Leonard: We're out of ice. Sheldon: All right, men, we begin initial assembly and deployment of the testing equipment starting tomorrow at 0700 hours, but until then, you are all off duty. I suggest you keep the shenanigans to a minimum as medical help is 18 hours away by dogsled. Raj: What are you working on? Howard: Crossbow. Leonard: Hey, guys, can I just say something? How about we take a moment to think about where we are right now? This is literally the top of the world. Only a handful of people in all of human history will ever see what we are going to see. Raj: He's right. Howard: Yeah, wow. Sheldon: It is remarkable. Raj: So, who's up for a movie? Howard: Good idea, what do you think? Ice Station Zebra or John Carpenter's The Thing? Raj: I say double feature. Leonard: Dinner's ready! Sheldon: What are we having? Leonard: Reconstituted Thai food. Sheldon: Did you bring the dehydrated low-sodium soy sauce? Leonard: Check. Sheldon: Freeze-dried spicy mustard? Leonard: Check. Sheldon: Flash-frozen brown rice, not white? Leonard: Uh, oh, sorry. Sheldon: Not to worry. I hid it. Bazinga! You're in my spot. Howard: There's no time for a crossbow. Find me an icicle. Sheldon: Three months. This is gonna be great!

Sheldon wins a National Science Foundation grant to go on a three-month expedition to the Magnetic North Pole to detect magnetic monopoles and prove the validity of string theory. After some hesitation, he decides to go and wants Leonard, Howard and Raj to join him; they too initially hesitate as it would mean being locked in a cabin with Sheldon for three months, but finally agree. To prepare, Sheldon and the guys practise in the freezer room at the Cheesecake Factory, which however later proves unnecessary as they discover they will actually be spending their time in a warm cabin. On the night before the expedition, Leonard expresses doubts on going as it will mean not seeing Penny for the whole summer. He also believes Penny will miss him too, after she gives him a blanket with sleeves and a long hug. The next morning, when Leonard meets Penny again, she claims to have simply wished him a safe trip, but after he closes the door she sadly whispers "It means I wish you weren't going". The guys arrive in the Arctic and agree to abide by the same rules as in the apartment.

fd_Doctor_Who_01x08

fd_Doctor_Who_01x08_0

INT. PHOTO A photograph of Pete Tyler. ROSE (voice-over): Peter Alan Tyler, my dad. The most wonderful man in the world. Born 15th of September 1954. INT. TYLER'S FLAT, JACKIE'S BEDROOM Rose, aged about 6, pokes her head around her mother's bedroom door. Jackie is sitting on the bed with a photo album on her lap. JACKIE: Come here, Rose. Come here... She pats the bed beside her. Rose clambers up on the bed to sit next to her. Jackie points at a photo of Pete Tyler. JACKIE (CONT'D): Who's that? It's your Daddy. You weren't old enough to remember when he died. 1987. 7th of November. Do you remember what I told you? The day that Stuart Hoskins and Sarah Clarke got married? She turns the page onto a photograph of Jackie and Peter together. JACKIE (CONT'D): He was always having adventures. Oh, he would have loved to have seen you now. INT. TARDIS 19 year old Rose is leaning against the console, and the Doctor is sitting comfortably back in one of the chairs. ROSE: That's what mum always says. So, I was thinking... could we? Could we go and see my dad when he was still alive? THE DOCTOR: Where's this come from, all of a sudden? ROSE: All right then, if we can't, if it goes against the laws of times or something, then never mind, we'll just leave it. THE DOCTOR: No, I can do anything. I'm just more worried about you. ROSE: I wanna see him. THE DOCTOR: Your wish is my command. But be careful what you wish for. He stands up and starts up the TARDIS engines. OPENING CREDITS INT. REGISTRY OFFICE The Doctor and Rose are sitting at the back of a small crowd of people witnessing the marriage of Jackie and Pete. REGISTRAR: I, Peter Alan Tyler, take you, Jacqueline, Angela, Suzette Prentiss... PETE: I, Peter Alan Tyler, take you, Jacqueline Suzanne... Suzette... Anita... Jackie narrows her eyes slightly. Pete looks at the Registrar for help. JACKIE: Oh, just carry on. It's good enough for Lady Di. The Doctor grins and looks down at Rose. ROSE: I thought he'd be taller. REGISTRAR: ... to be my lawful wedded wife, to love and behold 'til death us do part. INT. TYLER'S FLAT, JACKIE'S BEDROOM Cut back to the bedroom with Jackie and Rose as a little girl. JACKIE (quietly, sadly): He died so close to home. I wasn't there. Nobody was. It was a hit and run driver. Never found out who. He was dead when the ambulance got there. Rose looks up at her solemnly. JACKIE (CONT'D): I only wish there'd been someone there for him. Rose looks down sadly, then back up at her mother. INT. TARDIS ROSE: I wanna be that someone. So he doesn't die alone. THE DOCTOR: November the 7th? ROSE: 1987. The Doctor starts the engines. Rose watches them apprehensively. When they stop, she looks at the door. EXT. SUBURBAN STREET On November the 7th, 1987, they step out of the TARDIS. It is a still, quiet sort of day. Someone is playing music. ROSE: That's so weird. The day my father died... I thought it'd be all sort of grim and stormy, it's just an ordinary day. THE DOCTOR: The past is another country. 1987's just the Isle of Wight. (Looks down at Rose). Are you sure about this? ROSE: Yeah. EXT. POWELL ESTATE Rose and the Doctor stand on the curb of the pavement, waiting, side by side. ROSE: This is it. Jordan Road. He was late. He'd been to get a wedding present, a vase. Mum always said, that stupid vase. She sounds as though she is trying to fight off tears. A car rounds the corner. ROSE (CONT'D): He got out of his car... The car pulls over. ROSE (CONT'D): ... and crossed the road. The car stops. ROSE (CONT'D): Oh, God. This is it. Pete, oblivious to what is in store for him, picks up the vase from the passenger's seat. The Doctor gently takes Rose's hand in his, intertwining their fingers. Pete gets out of his car, unaware that a car has just rounded the corner and is headed straight towards him. His eyes widen in shock. The driver throws a hand over his eyes. Rose quickly hides her head behind the Doctor's shoulder. We see the vase fall to the floor and smash. Rose lifts her head to look at her father, who is lying on the road, twitching. THE DOCTOR: Go to him. Quick. But Rose can't. EXT. POWELL ESTATE Rose and the Doctor lean against a wall. Rose has tears in her eyes. The ambulance sirens sound. ROSE: It's too late now. The Doctor looks at her. ROSE (CONT'D): By the time the ambulance got there, he was dead. Her voice falters, choked up with tears. The Doctor looks away in silence. Rose turns to him. ROSE (CONT'D): He can't die on his own. The Doctor looks back at her. ROSE (CONT'D): Can I try again? Close-up on the Doctor's eyes. He knows it would be a bad idea, but he cannot deny her. EXT. POWELL ESTATE Rose and the Doctor stand out of sight around the corner, watching the first set of themselves standing on the curb. THE DOCTOR: Right. That's the first you and me. It's a very bad idea, two sets of us being here at the same time. Just be careful they don't see us. Wait 'til she runs off and he follows, then go to your dad. For the second time, Rose's father's car draws up. FIRST ROSE: Oh, God. This is it. Pete picks up the vase from the passenger seat. ROSE: I can't do this. THE DOCTOR: You don't have to do anything you don't want to, but this is the last time we can be here. Rose stares at her father getting out of the car, breathing heavily. Then, she runs out. THE DOCTOR: Rose! No! The car rounds the corner. Rose runs past the first set of the Doctor and Rose, and knocks her father out of the way of the oncoming car. They tumble onto the floor. The first set of the Doctor and Rose look bewildered for a few seconds, then disappear. The Doctor looks on in horror. Rose stares at her father as he gets to his feet. ROSE: I did it! I saved your life! PETE: Blimey, did you see the speed of it? Did you get his number? ROSE (staring at him): I really did it. Oh, my God, look at you! You're alive! That car was gonna kill ya! PETE: Well, give me some credit, I did see it coming. I wasn't gonna walk under it, was I? ROSE: I'm Rose. She looks at him expectantly. PETE: That's a coincidence. That's my daughter's name. ROSE (smiling in delight): That's a great name. Good choice, well done. There is a few seconds silence as Rose smiles at him, unable to take her eyes off him, and he looks as though he doesn't quite know what to say next. PETE: Right, I'd better shift. I've got a wedding to go to. ROSE: Is that Sarah Clarke's wedding? PETE: Yeah, are you going? ROSE: ...Yeah. PETE: You and your boyfriend need a lift? He gestures to the Doctor who is standing watching them darkly by the corner. EXT. ABOVE STREET A red, distorted view of the streets from above, an alien point of view. INT. TYLER'S FLAT, LIVING ROOM Pete enters the flat, followed by Rose and the Doctor. He puts the vase down next to the door. PETE: There we go. Sorry about the mess. If you want a cup of tea, the kitchen's just down there, milk's in the fridge... well, it would be, wouldn't it? Where else would you put the milk? Mind you, there's always the window sill outside. I always thought if someone invented a window sill with special compartments, you know, one for milk, one for yogurt... make a lot of money out of that. Rose still cannot tear her eyes way from him. She smiles at him in delight as he speaks. The Doctor nods politely behind her. PETE (CONT'D): Sell it to students and things... (Ponders). I should write that down. Anyway, never mind that, excuse me... He pushes past them and disappears through a door. Rose looks around. ROSE: All the stuff mum kept. His stuff. She kept it all packed away in boxes in the cupboard, she used to show me when she'd had a bit to drink. The Doctor leans against the doorframe, saying nothing. ROSE (CONT'D): Here it is. On display. Where it should be. The Doctor still says nothing. He just watches her with his arms folded. He looks angry. Rose picks up a trophy and shows it to him. ROSE (CONT'D): Third prize at the bowling... first two got to go to Didcot. She examines it for a few more seconds, then replaces it. Her eye is drawn by a large bottles in the corner of the room. She bends down the look at it. ROSE (CONT'D): Health drinks. Tonics, mum used to call them. He made his money selling this Vitex stuff. He had all sorts of jobs. He's so clever. Still, the Doctor says nothing. Rose looks around and spots some plans on the table. ROSE (CONT'D): Solar power. Mum said he was gonna do this. Now he can. Rose looks at the Doctor, smiling. He does not smile back. ROSE (CONT'D): Okay, look... I'll tell him you're not my boyfriend. THE DOCTOR (suspicious): When we met, I said "travel with me in space". You said no. Then I said "time machine". ROSE: It wasn't some big plan. I just saw it happening and I thought... I can stop it. THE DOCTOR: I did it again. I picked another stupid ape. I should've known. It's not about showing you the universe - it never is. It's about the universe doing something for you. ROSE: So it's okay when you go to other times, and you save people's lives, but not when it's me saving my dad. THE DOCTOR: I know what I'm doing, you don't. Two sets of us being there made that a vulnerable point. ROSE: But he's alive! THE DOCTOR: My entire planet died. My whole family. Do you think it never occurred to me to go back and save them? ROSE: But it's not like I've changed history. Not much, I mean... he's never gonna be a world leader, he's not gonna start World War Three or anything... The Doctor takes a few steps towards her. THE DOCTOR: Rose, there's a man alive in the world who wasn't alive before. An ordinary man, that's the most important thing in creation. The whole world's different because he's alive. ROSE: What, would you rather him dead? THE DOCTOR (exasperated): I'm not saying that... ROSE: No, I get it! For once, you're not the most important man in my life. THE DOCTOR: Let's see how you get on without me, then, give me the key. He holds his hand out. Rose stares at him. THE DOCTOR: The TARDIS key. If I'm so insignificant, give it me back. ROSE (gets it out of her pocket): All right then, I will. She slaps it down into his hand, hard. THE DOCTOR: Well, you've got what you wanted so that's goodbye then. He turns on her and walks down the hallway to the door. Rose pursues him. ROSE (unconvincingly): You don't scare me. She stands in front of him, between him and the door. ROSE (CONT'D): I know how sad you are. You'll be back in a minute. Or you'll hang around outside the TARDIS waiting for me. The Doctor looks at her for a few moments, then pushes past her, opening the door. Rose's voice rises. ROSE (CONT'D): And I'll make you wait a long time! She slams the door shut after him, and then leans against the wall breathing heavily. Pete pokes his head around the bedroom door. PETE: Boyfriend trouble? Rose doesn't answer. EXT. STREET Still fuming, the Doctor walks back down the road. The distorted, red, aerial view watches him. EXT. BACK GARDEN The alien point of view focuses on a woman pegging out her washing. EXT. ROAD Alien point of view - an old tramp sitting propped up against a wall, drinking. EXT. FRONT GARDEN Alien point of view, a man pruning his hedges. It closes in on the man. He shouts and his sheers fall the the ground. EXT. BACK GARDEN The woman pegging out her washing screams, dropping the clothes. EXT. ROAD The tramp's drink falls to the floor. INT. TYLER'S FLAT, LIVING ROOM At the flat, Rose is picking up peanuts that are strewn over the coffee table, and putting them back ion a plate. Pete enters, dressed in a suit. PETE: Excuse me, do you mind? What're you tidying up for? Rose stops. ROSE: Sorry... force of habit. PETE: Listen, don't worry about him. Couples have rows all the time. ROSE (sitting down): We're not a couple. Why does everyone think we're a couple? (Sighs). I think he left me. PETE: What, a pretty girl like you? If I was going out with you... ROSE: Stop! Right there! PETE: I was just saying... ROSE: I know what you're saying, and we're not going there. At no point are we going anywhere near there. You aren't even aware that there exists. Pete looks as though he is finding this hard to follow. ROSE (CONT'D): I don't even want to think about there, and believe me, neither do you. there... for you... is like... pfft, it's like the Bermuda Triangle. PETE: Blimey, you know how to flatter a bloke. ROSE (jumps to her feet, grabs her jacket, offers her arm to Pete): Right, are we off? PETE (gesturing her proffered arm): So, that wouldn't be a mixed signal at all. ROSE: Absolutely not. Pete sighs and takes her arm resignedly. They walk to the door. PETE: I'll take you back to the loony bin where you belong. Still, I'm sure I've met you somewhere before... They leave the flat. INT. CHURCH The groom, Stuart, and his father Sonny, stand at the altar waiting for the bride. Stuart looks behind him nervously. STUART: It's weird. SONNY: What? STUART (worried): There's so many people missing. Uncle Steven, Auntie Lyn... all the Baxter's. Where are they? (Checks his watch). You don't think something's gone wrong? SONNY: Maybe it's a Godsend. Gives you time to think. You don't have to go through with it, not these days. Live in sin for a bit. STUART: Dad... SONNY: In ten years time you'll turn round and say, "if only I could turn the clock back". (Looks at the stain-glass window, then back at Stuart). Is it me or did it just get cold? Stuart looks at him. EXT. SUBURBAN STREET The Doctor rounds a corner to the road where the TARDIS is parked. A bird caws. He still looks angry. The red, distorted vision looks down on the area from overhead, watching the Doctor approach the TARDIS. The Doctor takes the key out of his pocket and then looks up at the sky through the bare branches of a tree, as if he can sense something is wrong. He opens the doors of the TARDIS only to find the inside of his ship has disappeared. It is just an ordinary police-box. He steps inside and feels around the walls frantically, ,then stops. THE DOCTOR: Rose! He runs back in the direction from which he came. INT. CAR Pete is driving his car with Rose in the passenger seat. PETE: I met this bloke at the Horse's, and he's cutting me in on copyright. ROSE: But I thought you were a proper businessman and that... PETE: I wish! Ah, I do a bit of this, a bit of that, a straight bloke. ROSE: Right... so I must've heard wrong. So really you're a bit of a... a Del Boy? PETE: Oh, shoot me down in flames. You're not related to my wife by any chance, are you? Rose puts her hand over her mouth. ROSE: Oh, my God... she's gonna be at the wedding. PETE: What, Jackie? Do you know her? ROSE (after a pause): Sort of. PETE: What's she told you about me, then? ROSE (smling): She said she'd picked the most fantastic man in the world. PETE: Must be a different Jackie, then. She'd never say that. After a few seconds silence, the radio springs into life, playing rap. Pete sounds irritated. PETE: This stuff goes right over my head. ROSE (confused): That's not out yet. PETE (grimacing): It's a good job and all. ROSE (reaching for her mobile): I'm just gonna check my messages. PETE: How d'ya mean, messages? (Looks at mobile). Is that a phone? ROSE: Yeah... She holds the mobile to her ear. VOICE: Watson, come here, we need you. Watson, come here, we need you. Rose furrows her brow in confusion and glances at her father, who also looks puzzled. VOICE (CONT'D): Watson, come here, we need you. Pete looks in the mirror at the car behind. It is the car that should have killed him earlier. It gets closer, then rounds a corner and vanishes. The driver throws a hand over his eyes before it does so. EXT. CHURCH The wedding guests are milling around outside the church. Sonny comes out of the church talking on his massive mobile phone. SONNY: Half the guests haven't turned up. You're better off not being here, it's a disaster in the making. Some guests enter the church. SONNY (CONT'D): No, in this case, 'knocked her up' IS a phrase I'd use. VOICE (on phone): Watson, come here, we need you. SONNY: Hello? Who is this? He looks at the phone. VOICE: Watson, come here, we ne... He hangs up. A car with ribbons covering the bonnet draws up outside the church. Stuart comes out of the church and addresses his father. STUART: Dad, get inside! We can't see the bride before the wedding, it's bad luck! SONNY: Bad luck when you met her. I tell you - this day is cursed. Stuart goes back inside, holding a hand to his dad's face to block him out. Sonny pursues him. The car stops, and out steps Sarah Clarke in a wedding dress. BEV (delighted): Now, that's what I call a meringue. SUZIE: Listen, do what Stan said and go round the block, 'cos there's people missing. SARAH (adjusts train): How do you mean, missing? BEV: There's no Dave, no Sunita, no B... SUZIE: There's no one from the Lamb and Flag... SARAH: Oh, my train's detached again, I knew I should've used velcro... Jackie steps out of the car. JACKIE: I'm here, stop your belly-aching. Take Rose a sec, will ya? She hands the woman a carry-tot, with Rose aged about 6 months inside. BEV: Oh, in't she pretty? JACKIE: She's a little madam, that's what she is. She makes her way to the church gate with Bev, who is carrying Rose. JACKIE (CONT'D): Oh, I need more hands. Where's her useless article of a dad got to? Pete and 19 year old Rose round the corner in Pete's car. Suddenly, the car that should have killed Pete comes out of thin air and heads straight towards them. INT. CAR ROSE: Dad! Pete swerves to avoid the car, beeping the horn. The car speeds off down the road. Pete turns around in his seat to look at it, whilst Rose sits looking straight ahead of her, shaken. PETE: It's that car! The same one as before! EXT. CHURCH They both get out of the car, Pete looking around. PETE: It was right in front of us, where's it gone? (Catches Rose's eye). You called me "dad", what did you say that for? JACKIE (appearing with the carry-tot): Oh, wonderful. Here he is, the accident waiting to happen. Rose stares at her. JACKIE (CONT'D): You'd be late for your own funeral and it nearly was! PETE: No damage done. JACKIE (glancing disdainfully at Rose): And who's this? Rose simply stares at her. JACKIE (CONT'D): What're you looking at with your mouth open? ROSE: Your hair. JACKIE: What?! ROSE: I've never seen it like... Jackie stares at her, looking both confused and insulted. ROSE (CONT'D): I mean... it's lovely, your hair's lovely. Rose spots the baby, herself, in the carry-tot and takes a few small steps towards it, eyes wide. ROSE (CONT'D): And that baby you're holding... Jackie, glancing at Pete, holds the baby to her protectively, completely nonplussed. ROSE: That would be... your baby... JACKIE (CONT'D) (to Pete): Another one of yours, is she? PETE: She saved my life! JACKIE: Oh, that's a new one! What was it last time? PETE: I didn't even know her. She was a cloakroom attendant. I was helping her look for my ticket. There were three duffel coats all the same, somehow the rack collapsed. We were under all this stuff. ROSE: Were you playing around?! JACKIE: What's it got to do with you what he gets up to? ROSE (voice rising): What does he get up to? JACKIE: You'd know. PETE: Oh, 'cos I'm that stupid. I play around and then bring her home to meet the missus. You silly cow... JACKIE: But you are that stupid. PETE: Can we keep this stuff back home? Just for now? JACKIE: What, with the rest of the rubbish? Rose looks upset. JACKIE (CONT'D): You bring home cut-priced detergents, tonic water, Betamax tape and none of it works, I'm drowning in your rubbish. (To Rose): What did he tell you? Did he say he's this big businessman, 'cos he's not. He's a failure. Born failure, that one. Rose needs a proper father... PETE (talking over her): Jackie, I'm making a living, it keeps us fed, don't it? ROSE: Stop it! They both stop talking. Rose is distressed. ROSE (CONT'D): You're not like this.. you love each other. JACKIE: Oh, Pete. You never used to like them mental. Or I dunno, maybe you did. PETE (talking over her): Jackie, wait, just listen... JACKIE (talking over him): If you're not careful, there'll be a wedding and a divorce on the same day. She walks away, carrying baby Rose, who has started crying. PETE (to Rose): Right, wait here. Give us a couple of minutes with the missus. He begins to walk away, then turns back again, taking the vase out of her hands and giving her the car keys. PETE (CONT'D): Tell you what, straighten the car up. Stick her round the corner or something. Don't cause anymore trouble... He walks off, leaving Rose standing by the car with tears in her eyes. INT. PLAYGROUND Children play in a small playground with their parents. The red vision passes over them, zooming in on each of them in turn. A little boy on a swing, Mickey, as a child, watches them disappear one by one. MICKEY: Jeff...! The other children and their parents disappear, until finally the person pushing him on the swing also disappears. Scared, he hops off the swing and runs out of the gates of the now deserted playground. EXT. CHURCH Rose watches her mum and dad talk to each other from a distance. JACKIE (calmer than before, but sad): I'm not listening. It's just the duffel coats all over again. PETE: Jackie, sometimes a duffel coat is just a duffel coat. Things will get better soon, I promise. He puts his hand on her shoulder. JACKIE: I've had enough of all your daft schemes. I never know where the next meal's coming from. PETE (pleading): I'll get it right, love. I promise, one day soon I'll get it right. Come on... Rose smiles softly as she watches them. At that moment, Mickey as a littlie boy runs around the corner. MICKEY: Monsters! Coming to eat us! SUZIE: What sort of monsters, sweetheart? Is it aliens? She and her friends laugh. Mickey runs into the church. Rose watches him, taking him more seriously. Behind her, the Doctor runs around the corner. THE DOCTOR: Rose! Upon hearing his voice, Rose smiles in a satisfied sort of way, and turns around. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): Get in the church! Hearing the urgency in his voice, Rose's smile fades. The Doctor looks to her left, Rose follows his gaze and before her eyes, a reaper appears, bearing down on her. She screams. The Doctor knocks her out of the way just in time, and they both fall to the ground. They scramble quickly to their feet. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): Get in the church! The crowd outside the church try to run for the door, but they stop when another reaper appears before them. SUZIE: Oh, my God. What are they? The guests in the church come out to see what the commotion is. Some of them scream. THE DOCTOR: Inside! The reaper bears down on them. The people who have just come out of the church try to come out of the door. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): Stay in there! Stuart stops trying to get away. However, his father does not listen and tries to run for it. The reaper swoops down on him, covering his body with its wings. Sarah, horrified, tries to run into the church. The reaper positions itself before her, and she screams. The reaper, however, decides to go for the priest instead. The Doctor ushers the guests before him. THE DOCTOR: In! The Reaper swoops towards the church doors, but the Doctor manages to shut them just in time. The Reaper screams. INT. CHURCH Once inside, the guests babble in panic. The Doctor looks around at the shadows of the Reapers outside the windows. THE DOCTOR: They can't get in. Old windows and doors, okay. The older something is, the stronger it is. What else? The Reapers screech. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): Go and check the other doors! Move! He runs and pushes against a wooden door in the side of the church. Jackie runs after him. JACKIE: What's happening? What are they? (Grabs his arm). What are they? THE DOCTOR: There's been an accident in time, a wound in time. They're like bacteria, taking advantage. JACKIE: What do you mean, time? What're you jabbering on about, time? THE DOCTOR (irritated): Oh, I might've known you'd argue. Jackie, I'm sick of you complaining... JACKIE (cuts across him): How d'you know my name? THE DOCTOR (talking over her): I haven't got time for this... JACKIE (talking over him): I've never met you in my life! THE DOCTOR: No, and you never will unless I sort this out. Now, if you don't mind, I've waited a long time to say this, Jackie Tyler, do as I say. Go, and, check, the, doors. He points in the direction of the doors, his voice loud and commanding. Jackie stares at him. JACKIE: Yes, sir. The Doctor grins, pleased with himself, as Jackie walks away and Stuart approaches him. THE DOCTOR (to Stuart): I should've done that ages ago. STUART: My dad was out there. THE DOCTOR (not unkindly): You can mourn him later, right now we've got to concentrate on keeping ourselves alive. STUART: My dad had... THE DOCTOR: There's nothing I can do for him. STUART: No. But he had this phone thing. I can't get it to work. I keep getting this voice... The Doctor dials a number and holds the phone to his ear. VOICE: Watson, come here, we need you. Watson, come here, we need you. The Doctor raises his eyebrows in surprise. THE DOCTOR: That's the very first phone-call, Alexander Graham Bell. (Gives the phone back). I don't think the telephone's gonna be much use. He makes to run off again to check another door. STUART (calls after him): But someone must call the police! THE DOCTOR: Police can't help you now. No-one can. Rose watches him, along with the other guests. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): Nothing in this Universe can harm those things. Time's been damaged and they've come to sterilise the wound. (To Rose, looking her in the eyes): By consuming everything in sight. ROSE (shakily): Is this because... The Doctor looks down at her. He does not look angry. ROSE (CONT'D): Is this my fault? No answer, only a look. Yes. He walks past her. Pete looks from one to the other, brow furrowed, then back down at baby Rose in her carry-tot. EXT. STREET Outside, the street is deserted apart from a couple of people running for their lives down the road. The Reapers swoop down upon them. A bicycle, a pram and a child's shoe lie discarded on the ground. The wheel of the bicycle is still spinning. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. CHURCH ANTEROOM The Doctor enters. Pete is checking a door is secure. The Doctor looks out of the window. Pete joins him. PETE (urgently): There's smoke coming up from the city but no sirens. I, I don't think it's just us, I think these things are all over the place. Maybe the whole world. The Doctor does not seem to be listening. He is staring in dismay out of the window. The car that should have killed Pete appears out of thin air, tyres screeching. It rounds the corner and the terrified driver throws a hand over his face as it disappears again. It happens repeatedly. Pete glances out of the window. PETE: Was that a car? THE DOCTOR (after a pause): It's not important. Don't worry about it. He leaves. Pete stares out of the window. INT. CHURCH The Reapers clamber against the large stained-glass window, trying to get into the church. Rose sits alone near the altar, looking as though she has been crying, when Pete comes in through a side door with his hands in his pockets to talk to her. PETE: This mate of yours... what do you mean, this is your fault? ROSE (teary): Dunno... just... everything. PETE: I gave you my car keys. Rose gazes at him, eyes red. PETE (CONT'D): You don't give your keys to a complete stranger. Still, Rose watches him as he works it out. PETE (CONT'D): It's... it's like I trusted you. Moment I met you, I just did. A wound in time... Rose chews her lip. PETE (CONT'D): You called me Dad. I can see it... my eyes... Jackie's attitude... you sound like her when you shout... He reaches out and touches her face tentatively. Rose closes her eyes. He drops his hand, but Rose takes it in hers and hold it back to her face. PETE (CONT'D): You are. You are.... you're my Rose. You're my Rose grown up. He throws his arms around her. Losing all remaining control, Rose's tears start to flow again. ROSE: Dad... my Dad. My Daddy... They embrace. EXT. CHURCH A Reaper head-butts a door, trying to get in. INT. CHURCH The Doctor crashes around in the main church, checking all possible exits. He is approached by Stuart and Sarah. STUART: Excuse me! Mr... THE DOCTOR (not looking at him): Doctor. STUART: You seem to know what's going on. THE DOCTOR (checking the lock): I give that impression, yeah. STUART: I just wanted to ask... SARAH (cuts across him): Can you save us? These words seem to finally grab the Doctor's attention. He turns to look at her, and turns his sonic screwdriver off. He walks towards them, observing them both. THE DOCTOR: Who are you two, then? STUART: Stuart Hoskins. SARAH: Sarah Clarke. THE DOCTOR (nodding towards Sarah's bump): And one extra. Boy or girl? SARAH (running her hands over her bump): I don't know. I don't want to know, really. THE DOCTOR: How did all this get started? Sarah glances at Stuart. STUART: Outside the Big Box Club. Two in the morning. SARAH: Street corner. I'd lost my purse. Didn't have money for a taxi. STUART: I took her home. THE DOCTOR: Then what? Asked her for a date? SARAH: Wrote his number on the back of my hand. STUART (smiling): Never got rid of her since. My dad said... He falters. Sarah's lip trembles. The Reapers screech outside. SARAH (tearful): I don't know what this is all about. And I know we're not important... THE DOCTOR (genuinely shocked): Who said you're not important? Sarah looks back at him, tears in her eyes. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): I've travelled to all sorts of places. Done things you couldn't even imagine, but... you two... street corner. Two in the morning. Getting a taxi home. I've never had a life like that. Yes. (Smiles). I'll try and save you. Sarah smiles back at him through her tears. INT. CHURCH ANTEROOM Rose sits in a side room with her dad. She sniffs, still a little tearful. PETE (still trying to get his head around all this): I'm a dad. I mean, I'm already a dad, but... Rose grows up, and she's you. That's wonderful. I suppose I thought that you'd be a bit, useless, what, with my useless genes and all, but... Rose laughs slightly. Pete is fascinated by her. PETE (CONT'D): How did you get here? ROSE: Do you really wanna know? PETE: Yeah! ROSE: A time machine. PETE (after a stunned pause): Time machine. ROSE (smiling): Cross my heart. PETE (also smiling): What, do they all have time machines where you come from? ROSE: Nah, just the Doctor. PETE: Did you know these things were coming? ROSE: No. PETE (incredulous): God, I dunno, my head's spinning. Rose looks down. PETE (CONT'D): What's the future like? ROSE: It's not so different. PETE: What am I like? Have I gone grey? He laughs. Rose does not answer, she just watches him. Pete's smile fades slightly. PETE (CONT'D): Have I gone bald? Don't tell me I've gone bald. Rose still does not answer. Pete clears his throat, clearly wrong-footed. PETE (CONT'D): So, if this mate of yours isn't your boyfriend, and I have to say, I'm glad because being your dad and all, I think he's a bit old for you... Rose laughs. PETE (CONT'D): Have you got a bloke? ROSE: No, I did have... There are running footsteps and Jackie's voice rings out in the background. JACKIE: Mickey! Mickey runs up to Rose and throws his arms around her legs, eyes tight shut. PETE: Do you know him? ROSE: I just didn't recognise him in a suit... you'll have to let go of me, sweetheart... Mickey returns to Jackie, who has now joined them. ROSE (CONT'D) (under her breath, to herself): I'm always saying that... JACKIE (putting her arms around his shoulders): He just grabs hold of what's passing and holds on for dear life. God help his poor girlfriend if he ever gets one. PETE: Me and Rose were just talking... JACKIE: Oh, yeah? Talking? While the world comes to an end, what do you do? Cling to the youngest blonde. Rose looks upset but does not speak. JACKIE (CONT'D): Come on, Mick. She takes his hand and leads him away. Pete makes to follow, but Rose grabs his arm to stop him. ROSE: You can't tell her. PETE: Why? ROSE: I mean... I really don't want you to tell her. PETE: What, do you don't want people to know? ROSE: Where I come from, Jackie doesn't know how to work the timer on the video recorder. PETE (grinning): I showed her that last week. Rose nods. He stops grinning. PETE (CONT'D): Point taken. EXT. CHURCH The Reapers slam themselves against the walls and windows of the church, screeching. INT. CHURCH The Doctor is talking to baby Rose in her carry-tot. THE DOCTOR: Now, Rose... you're not gonna bring about the end of the world, are you? (Sternly). Are you? Baby Rose stares innocently up at him. 19 year old Rose joins them. The Doctor glances at her. THE DOCTOR: Jackie gave her to me to look after. How times change. ROSE (tearful, but trying to make light-hearted conversation): I'd better be careful. I think I just imprinted myself on Mickey like a mother chicken. She reaches out to the baby. The Doctor grabs her hand quickly and pushes it back. THE DOCTOR: No. Don't touch the baby. The Reapers outside distract Rose for a moment, as they screech particularly loudly. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): You're both the same person and that's a paradox, and we don't want a paradox happening. Not with these things outside. Anything new, any disturbance in time makes them stronger. The paradox might let them in. ROSE: Can't do anything right, can I? THE DOCTOR (as though speaking to a dimwit): Since you ask, no. So, don't... touch... the... baby. ROSE (eyes narrowed): I'm... not... stupid. THE DOCTOR: You could've fooled me. Rose looks away, stung. The Doctor repents slightly. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): All right. I'm sorry. Rose looks back at him. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D) (softer now): I wasn't really gonna leave you on your own. ROSE: I know. THE DOCTOR: But between you and me, I haven't got a plan. No idea. Rose looks at him intently. THE DOCTOR: No way out. ROSE (quietly): You'll think of something. THE DOCTOR: The entire Earth is being sterilised. This, and other place like it, are all that's left of the human race. We might hold out for a while, but nothing can stop those creatures. (Looks at the shadows circling the church). They'll get through in the end. The walls aren't that old. And there's nothing I can do to stop them. There used to be laws stopping this kind of thing from happening, my people would have stopped this. But they're all gone. And now I'm going the same way. ROSE: If I'd realised... He looks at her. She meets his eyes. THE DOCTOR: Just... tell me you're sorry. Rose's gaze does not falter. ROSE (sincerely): I am. I'm sorry. The Doctor reaches out to her, cupping a hand around her face. Then, he grins and pulls her in for a hug. She returns the embrace with equal vigour. After a few moments, Rose pulls away, feeling inside the Doctor's jacket pocket. ROSE (CONT'D): Have you got something hot? There is a sizzling sound as she takes the TARDIS key out of the Doctor's pocket. She gasps and drops it. They both look at it - it is glowing brightly. THE DOCTOR: It's the TARDIS key! (Takes off his jacket, uses it to pick up the hot key). It's telling me it's still connected to the TARDIS! INT. CHURCH The Doctor is addressing the remaining guests who are gathered on the chairs, listening to him. THE DOCTOR (showing them the key): The inside of my ship was thrown out of a wound but we can use this to bring it back. And once I've got my ship back, then I can mend everything. Now, I just need a bit of power. Has anybody got a battery? Stuart notices his father's phone on the chair in front of him. He jumps up and shows the Doctor. STUART: This one big enough? THE DOCTOR (hurrying to him): Fantastic. STUART: Good old dad. (Gives the phone to the Doctor). There you go. THE DOCTOR: Just need to do a bit of charging up... (Presses his sonic screwdriver to the battery). And then we can bring everyone back. He glances around the church as he charges the battery up. Jackie looks warily round at the doors, which are shaking as the Reaper throws its weight against it. EXT. CHURCH There are now three Reapers circling the church and screeching. INT. CHURCH Rose and Pete sit down near the back of the church. PETE: You, um... you never said why you came here in the first place. If I had a time machine, I wouldn't have thought 1987 was anything special. Not round here, anyway. ROSE: We just ended up here. PETE: Lucky for me, eh? If you hadn't been there to save me... ROSE (quickly): That was just a co-incidence. That was just... Really good luck. It's amazing... Pete looks as though he does not quite believe this. There is a slight pause. PETE: So, in the future, are me and her indoors still together? Rose looks at him. ROSE: Yeah. PETE: Are you still living with us? ROSE: Yep! Pete nods and smiles. He looks at her intensely for a few moments and then asks her a question, sounding like he has been wanting to ask this for quite a while. PETE: Am I a good dad? Rose cannot find it in her heart to tell him the truth. ROSE: You... you told me a bedtime story every night when I was small. You were always there... you never missed one. She smiles at him, giving every appearance of reminiscing on happier times. ROSE (CONT'D): And um... you took us for picnics in the country every Saturday. You never let us down. You were there for us all the time. Pete listens intently. ROSE (CONT'D) Someone I could really rely on. They are both silent for a few moments. PETE: That's not me. Rose stops smiling. She looks to the front of the church, where they TARDIS finally starts to materialise, the key in her lock. The Doctor puts his jacket back on, grinning. He runs back up the steps to the pulpit to address the guests. THE DOCTOR: Right, no-one touches that key. Have you got that? Don't touch it. Anyone touches that key, it'll be, well, zap. Just leave it be and everything will be fine. We'll get out of here. All of us. Stuart, Sarah, you're gonna get married, just like I said. He grins encouragingly at them. EXT. CHURCH Outside, the car screeches around the corner and disappears yet again. INT. CHURCH The TARDIS is materialising slowly but surely. Everyone is sitting waiting for it to appear fully. The Doctor and Rose sit side by side at the back of the church, Pete on a seat behind them. Jackie casts them a contemptuous glance over her shoulder. ROSE (to the Doctor): When time gets sorted out... THE DOCTOR: Everybody here forgets what happened. And don't worry, the thing that you changed will stay changed. PETE: You mean I'll still be alive. Rose turns around in her chair to face him. PETE (CONT'D): Though I'm meant to be dead. Rose just looks at him without speaking. Pete nods. PETE (CONT'D): That's why I haven't done anything with my life. Why I didn't mean anything. THE DOCTOR: It doesn't work like that. PETE: Rubbish. I'm so useless I couldn't even die properly. Now it's my fault all of this has happened. ROSE (reaching over suddenly and putting a hand on his arm): This is my fault. PETE: No, love. I'm your dad. It's my job for it to be my fault. JACKIE (appearing next to them): Her dad? How are you her dad? How old were you, twelve? The Doctor rolls his eyes and distances himself. JACKIE: Oh, that's disgusting PETE (standing): Jacks, listen. This is Rose. JACKIE (angry and upset but keeping her voice low): Rose? How sick is that? You give my daughter a second hand name? How many are there? Do you call them all Rose? PETE: Oh, for God's sake, look! It's the same Rose! He takes baby Rose from Jackie's arms and places her into Rose's. The Doctor starts, but too late. THE DOCTOR: Rose! No! Too late, he pulls baby Rose from Rose's arms. A Reaper appears in the middle of the church. The guests scream and leap to their feet. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): Everyone! Behind me! Everyone gathers behind the Doctor. The Reaper chirps menacingly and spreads its wings. The Doctor addresses the Reaper. THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): I'm the oldest thing in here. The Reaper bears down upon him. ROSE (terrified): Doctor! She watches, horrified, as the Reaper consumes the Doctor. The other guests scream. The Reaper swoops around the church and then collides with the semi-transparent TARDIS, and disappears, TARDIS and all. The key falls to the floor, no longer glowing. There is silence for a few seconds, then Rose runs down the isle and picks up the key. She sounds numb with shock. ROSE (CONT'D): Cold. He's cold. Pete approaches her cautiously from behind, all the while looking nervously around the church. ROSE (CONT'D): Oh, my God, he's dead. Pete reaches out to her, but she shakes him off. ROSE (CONT'D): It's all my fault... all of you... both of you... Her voice begins to crack as the impact of what has happened hits her. Pete takes her into his arms. ROSE (CONT'D): ... the whole world... The light in the church dims as though a cloud has passed over the sun. Jackie holds baby Rose closer to her, and the guests look around, scared. BEV: This is it. There's nothing we can do. It's the end. EXT. CHURCH A Reaper attaches itself to the side of the church, and starts to scrap the stone away with its wings. INT. CHURCH ANTEROOM Pete looks out of the window in the side room with the view of the car that is stuck in a loop. As he watches this happen twice with his brow furrowed, it seems as though a revelation comes to him. He breathes heavily, shaking slightly. INT. CHURCH Rose is sitting on her own in the dark church. She is silent and grief stricken. Pete approaches her, carrying his jacket. PETE: The Doctor really cared about you... Rose looks up at him. PETE (CONT'D): He didn't want you to go through it again if there was another way. Now there isn't. ROSE (standing): What're you talking about? PETE (putting his jacket on): The car that should've killed me, love. It's here. The Doctor worked it out way back, but he, er, he tried to protect me. Rose just looks at him, eyes filling with tears. PETE (CONT'D): Still, he's not in charge anymore. I am. ROSE (voice cracking): But you can't... Pete reaches out and strokes Rose's face. PETE: Who am I, love? ROSE: My Daddy. Jackie approaches them. She looks at Rose, eyes wide. PETE: Jackie... look at her. She's ours. Jackie looks at Rose, the truth dawning upon her. Rose looks back, tearful. JACKIE: Oh, God... Jackie throws her arms around Rose, eyes shut tightly. When she lets go, she looks at Pete. PETE: I'm meant to be dead, Jackie. You're gonna get rid of me at last. JACKIE (holding back her tears): Don't say that. PETE (gently): For once in your life, trust me. It's got be done. You've got to survive, because you've got to bring up our daughter. He gestures to Rose, then pulls Jackie in for a last kiss. He turns to Rose. PETE (CONT'D): I never read you those bedtime stories. I never took you on those picnics. I was never there for you. ROSE (crying): You would've been. PETE: But I can do this for you. I can be a proper dad to you now. ROSE: But it's not fair. PETE (smiling): I've had all these extra hours. No-one else in the world has ever had that. And on top of that... I get to see you. (He takes her face in his hand). And you're beautiful. Rose sobs silently. PETE (CONT'D): How lucky am I, eh? So, come on... do as your dad says. Slowly, tears still flowing, and without looking at him, Rose hands him the vase. PETE (CONT'D): Are you going to be there for me, love? Rose nods. Pete puts a hand on her shoulder and looks into her eyes. PETE (CONT'D): Thanks for saving me. He pulls his wife and his daughter into a tight embrace. Rose screws up her eyes. EXT. CHURCH The Reapers are still clamouring outside the church when Pete runs out of the doors, holding the vase. He stops just outside the gate and looks up at one of the Reapers - it begins to bear down upon him. He turns to see the car appear from thin air around the corner and runs straight out in front of it, screwing up his eyes before the impact. PETE: Goodbye, love... The driver throws a hand over his eyes as the car knocks Pete over. The vase crashes to the ground and breaks. The Reapers disappear one by one. Rose stands outside the church doors, her head down and her eyes closed, taking deep breathes in the slight breeze. The Doctor comes up behind her, and looks down at her for a few moments before placing a hand on her shoulder. She turns to look at him. THE DOCTOR: Go to him. Quick. Rose runs out of the church gates, down the road, and kneels down next to her dying father. She holds his hand and lifts his head slightly up off the ground. They look into each others eyes as he takes his last few breaths. Finally, his head eyes close and his head falls back. Rose lowers his head gently to the ground. Sarah Clarke, Stuart Hoskins, his father, Jackie, and the rest of the guests emerge from the church, trying to see what has happened. JACKIE (voice-over): The driver was just a kid. INT. TYLER'S FLAT, JACKIE'S BEDROOM Jackie and Rose as a little girl sit on Jackie's bed with the photo-album. JACKIE (CONT'D): He stopped. He waited for the police. It wasn't his fault. For some reason, Pete just ran out. (Pauses, remembering). People say there was this girl... and she sat with Pete while he was dying. And she held his hand. Then she was gone. Never found out who she was. Rose looks up at her mother. EXT. CHURCH Rose places a kiss onto her father's forehead. She stands up, and after looking down at him for a few moments, raises her eyes to meet the Doctor's, who is standing around the other side of the car that killed Pete. She goes to him. ROSE (voice-over): Peter Alan Tyler, my Dad. The most wonderful man in the world. Died the 7th of November, 1987. The Doctor takes Rose's hand, and they walk slowly back to the TARDIS together.

Rose asks the Doctor to take her back to the day her father Pete Tyler died in a hit and run accident, but when she saves him, she creates a paradox. Flying creatures known as Reapers appear and attempt to treat the wound in time and space by consuming everyone in it. The guests at the wedding of Jackie and Pete's friends hide in a church while the Doctor tries to summon the TARDIS inside. Jackie accuses Pete of having another daughter, and to prove that Rose is the same as the baby Rose, he puts the baby in the older Rose's arms, causing a bigger paradox, and the Doctor is taken by the Reapers. Pete realises he must die for everything to be repaired, and throws himself in front of the car, which has been appearing and reappearing around the corner of the church, causing the Doctor to return.

fd_The_Office_09x13

fd_The_Office_09x13_0

Pam: Hey Brian, you got a sec? Brian: Yeah, hold on a sec. Pam: I feel awful. Brian: It's fine. It was my first slip up in nine years of miking you. [phone rings] Erin: [in background] Dunder Mifflin, this is Erin. Pam: Well, thanks for being a good friend. Brian: Sure, anytime. Uh, how about you and Jim? Everything squared away? Pam: Yeah, mostly. Erin: Pam, phone call. Pam: Um, hey, say Hi to Alyssa. Brian: Will do. Pam: Okay. Thank you. Brian: Sure. Meredith: Hey, boom guy. Brian: Oh, hey Meredith. Meredith: When are you gonna boom me? Brian: Uh, listen, they're cracking down on us talking to the subjects. It's a lame rule, but, you know, I wanna... I, I'll see you later. Meredith: Got it. [SCENE_BREAK] Clark: Hey, so I hear you're bringing in some people to interview for the sales job? Dwight: That's right, a couple of old friends. Ballers only. Must be this cool to ride. Clark: Well, uh... see, you raised it. Dwight: Oh, did I? Oh, yes, I did. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Wallace is letting me hire a junior sales associate to sit at Jim's desk while he's away in Philly. Finally I'll have someone at my desk clump who gets me. It's like, "Really, Jim? You don't understand the difference between a slaughterhouse and a rendering plant? Uh, remind me not to lend you any dead cows or horses." Wow. [SCENE_BREAK] Clark: You know what, man? I deserve this job. Dwight: Mm-hmm. Clark: I scored Stone and Son Suit Warehouse with you, and God knows, to get the Scranton White Pages with Jan, I went above and beyond... and under. Dwight: You know what? You're gonna get your interview, okay? I know that you're going head-to-head against some real superstars, but you got a really good chance. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Clark has no chance. I mean, he's up against my buddy Rolf, for God's sake. Guy goes fishing with hand grenades. And Trevor - he'll make you laugh so hard, you'll puke your pants. [SCENE_BREAK] Clark: This sucks, you know? You put in 12 grueling weeks at a company, and what do they do? They make you compete for a promotion, like an animal. You know, I thought this was an office, not the Thunderdome. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Big changes coming to the old desk clump. No longer a Pam-Jim alliance against Dwight. Now it is Dwight and a friend axis against Pam. Jim: You could've just called that an alliance too, right? Dwight: I chose my words very carefully. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Things are a little delicate with me and Pam right now. And if my working in Philly is gonna end up doubling the Dwight in her life, that's only gonna make things worse. [SCENE_BREAK] Clark: [sighs] You interviewing for the sales job too? Rolf: No. You're interviewing for it. I'm getting it. Clark: Well, I wouldn't be so sure about that. I mean, I've been working here 12 weeks. That's a full season of Homeland. A ton of things can happen in that amount of time, as we've seen. Rolf: I'm Rolf. Rolf Ahl. Clark: Rolf Ahl? Sounds kinda like Roald Dahl. Rolf: Go to hell. Clark: There he is. Dwight: Hey. Come on, buddy. Let's do this. Sorry, Rolf goes first. You don't compare. When you're with the R-O-L-F, you're literally Rolling on the Laughing Floor. [laughs] Rolf: Nice. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Rolf is my best friend, and he is the man. Cool, calm, and collected 24/7. Just try and rattle Rolf. I dare you. Such a sweet guy. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: When are you talking to David Wallace? Jim: I'm talking to him this afternoon, but don't get your hopes up. Pam: Too late. My hopes are up. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Last week, my company in Philly lost a big investor, so we're scrambling to find new funding. Luckily, my partners have a fix - me asking the boss of the company I'm abandoning to give us a gigantic influx of cash. So... problem solved. Thanks, guys. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: And this chair's gonna be yours. And this desk. Ha! Jim: I'm on the phone. I'm on the phone. Dwight: No doy! Jim: I'm just gonna call you back. Thanks. [Dwight knocking on desk] Rolf: I hope you like Norwegian black metal, because I don't do earbuds. Dwight: [laughs] No earbuds! [both laugh] Jim: I'm sure he's just nervous. Pam: [sighs] It's fine. It's just a seating arrangement. Doesn't matter. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: So I've got your resume here, but it's not telling me everything. Rolf: Well, a lot of that information is private. How do I know you're qualified to evaluate me? Dwight: Well, I'm the one offering the job. Rolf: What are your credentials? Dwight: I've worked here for 12 years. I won salesman of the year. I'm an Assistant to the Regional Manager. Rolf: I think I've heard everything I need to hear. Dwight: Wait, wait, wait, no, I mean, if you need to know more, you can call David Wallace. I'm sure he'd give a reference. Rolf: Thank you, Dwight. I'll be in touch. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Well, they can't all be winners. But Trevor's next and he's a real professional. You say, "Jump," and he says, "Oh who?" He loves to jump on people, that Trevor. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: What makes you think you'd be an effective paper salesman? Trevor: Ooh, okay. Didn't see that one coming. Can I take a 20 on that? Maybe we can circle back around to it. Dwight: Well, it's a pretty basic question for a potential paper salesman. Trevor: Pass. Next one. Dwight: All right. Do you see yourself as more of a team player or a self-starter? Trevor: No, no and no. Dwight: There were only two options. Trevor: Checkmate. You win this one, my friend. Do you validate parking? Dwight: This is a bus transfer. Trevor: [chuckles] Nothing gets by this guy. [SCENE_BREAK] Clark: Hey Jim, do you mind if I look over these price sheets before my interview? Jim: Sure, yeah, go ahead. Clark: Thanks, dude. You-you sure it's okay? 'Cause you're kinda- Jim: Yeah, absolutely. Do people like sitting next to you? You're clean, right? Clark: Oh, Dove Men. Jim: Nice. Music. Do you listen to it in earbuds? You don't listen to it at all because we're at work, not a Florence and the Machine concert, so- Clark: Yeah, could I just have a minute to prepare for this? Jim: Sure, yeah. Do whatever you need to do. Clark: Thanks, dude. Jim: Right after you do one thing for me. I need you to breathe in my face. Clark: Why? Jim: I need you to breathe in my face right now. Clark: [exhales] Jim: What are we working with, peppermint or wintergreen? Clark: Wintergreen. Jim: I knew it, I knew it. Clark: Yeah, good nose. Jim: I looked at you coming around, and I said, "Wintergreen." [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: I can't hire Clark. Yeah, he looks like a Schrute, but he thinks like a Halpert and he acts like a Beesly. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Okay, here's one. A customer who ordered enough paper to qualify for a volume discount now wants to return half the stock. You can't rebate the sales price or credit for future purchases because you brokered the deal for a third party. Clark: That's just a classic no-win situation. Dwight: Thank you. Clark: So I'd Kobayashi Maru it. Dwight: Damn it! Perfect answer, again. Clark: Yep. Dwight: Think Dwight, think. You have a ream of 16-bond ... Clark: You know what, Dwight? Dwight: And anoth- Clark: This interview's over, and I get the job. I just Kobayashi Maru'd the whole process. Dwight: No. Clark: Yeah. Star Trek rules. Dwight: It does, but still no. Clark: Come on, man. I mean, did Trevor do that? Did Rolf do that? Dwight: Oh, you think they're my only friends? I've got way more friends than that, and they're all better than the losers who work here. [SCENE_BREAK] [all murmuring] Stanley: This is not natural. [SCENE_BREAK] Oscar: Just - I don't wanna make assumptions based on people's physical appearances. Pam: Well, of course not, but does physical appearance include smell? Darryl: They smell so bad. Meredith: If I ever get that bad, you'd tell me, right? Kevin: Meredith, I tell you all the time. Meredith: [chuckles] Walked right into that one. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Next up, my cousin Mose. Mose could make a great paper salesman. He's got a natural fear of paper, which would motivate him to get as much of it out of this office as possible. I've got big expectations, Mose-wise. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: What quality would make you a good sales associate? Mose: People person. Dwight: It says here on your resume that you spent the last 15 years as a sales rep for Dow Chemical. Mose: That's right. Dwight: You know we live together, right? Mose: Yes. Dwight: And I've never seen you go to work, ever. Mose: Okay. Dwight: So why is this on your resume? [door slams] [SCENE_BREAK] Clark: So how'd you guys hear about the position? Gabor: My-my mom. Nate: Dwight called my house, but he didn't realize that I had already moved out, because my mom and I are quarrelling because I- I can't stay out of her stuff. Zeke: Dwight's my cousin, so I overheard him telling my brother Mose about the job opportunity in the shower. Clark: You were in the shower or he was in the shower? Zeke: Everyone was in the shower. It's a cow shower, so there's like, a ton of people in there. Clark: So you guys all know Dwight already? Melvina: I was his babysitter, and then we dated for a while. He was a passionate lover and the sweetest little baby. Gabor: I knew you looked familiar. You used to pick up Dwight from school. Melvina: You went to X-Men school too? [exhales] Clark: X-Men school? [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: When I was young, I spent several years at a private school where I was told I would be taught to harness my mutant abilities. Turned out it was a conman copying Charles Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters from the X-Men comic books. Took me years to figure out that it was a con. Some people never figured it out. [SCENE_BREAK] Gabor: Oh, I have a few powers. Night hearing. Dogs understand where I point. And our training included picking carrots, scrubbing tubs, sewing imitation Levi's. A lot of telemarketing. [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: I don't want to sit near any of those people for the next 20 years. Someone say something. Stanley: I said something when they were thinking of hiring Jim. Didn't work then. And now look what he's doing to us. Nellie: Yeah, Jim, this is all your fault. Jim: How is it my fault? Nellie: Here's an exercise for you, Jim. Imagine there are consequences to your actions. Imagine the whole world does not revolve around this. There are others. Jim: But it's Dwight who's bring in all the weirdos. Oscar: Yeah, but Jim, Dwight's a weirdo. We can't blame a weirdo for bringing in weirdos. We can blame a normal for creating a situation where a weirdo was allowed to bring in weirdos. Pam: Hey, I'm the one who has to sit next to this weirdo when Jim's away. I'm in a position where I'm rooting for Nate, and that just feels wrong. [sighs] Forget it. I need to work on my mural. I have some pointy trees that I need to round off. [SCENE_BREAK] David Wallace: [on phone] Hey Jim, I thought our call was for later. Jim: Yeah, this is actually about the new sales guy. Uh, Dwight has brought in a bunch of real weirdos. And I was wondering if I could have some input- Dwight: [presses speaker button] This is Dwight Schrute. Who am I speaking to? And don't lie. I can tell if you're lying. David Wallace: Hey, Dwight. It's David. Dwight: David. David Wallace: Jim says he'd like some say in the hiring process. Dwight: Really? That's interesting. 'Cause I was thinking that since Jim is only here part time, he might not be as invested in the decision-making process as someone like me who's here every day. And frankly, killing it lately. Jim: I was just thinking that because this person is gonna be sitting at my desk, near my wife- David Wallace: Jim, another thing. Since we are gonna have to hire this junior sales associate to cover for you, I am going to have to pay you only for the days that you actually work. Jim: Oh. Um... David Wallace: Yeah. Jim: Okay. I can't say that that's not fair. Dwight: Sounds fair to me, David. David Wallace: And I know we have a call scheduled for later - Jim: Oh, yeah, so we'll just do that later. Dwight: No. Why not do it now? David Wallace: Yeah. What's up Jim? Jim: Uh... [clears throat] Well, it's about Athlead. I'm sorry. Does Dwight have to be on this part of the phone call? Dwight: I'd love to be in the loop, David. David Wallace: It's okay. Go ahead, Jim. Jim: There's a very exciting opportunity to be a core investor - David Wallace: Okay. Jim, I'm gonna have to stop you right there. Jim: Yes, okay. Bye. Dwight: [whispers] I'd love to invest. Jim: No, thanks. Dwight: I'd like to give you $100 million. [snickers] [phone ringing] [SCENE_BREAK] Hide: Why you make trees into bushes? You don't make paper from bushes. Pam: Hide, they're giving out jobs upstairs. Why don't you go up and get one? Hide: Thank you. Pam: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] [hand dryer whirring] Troy: Whoops. [SCENE_BREAK] Zeke: [patting Darryl's hair] It's dense. Like bread. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Dwight, you can't just hire someone 'cause they're your friend. Dwight: I'm not. These people are the best of the best. I find talent an attractive quality in a friend. Nellie: They're freaks, Dwight. All your friends are weirdos and freaks. Dwight: You know who else was a freak? Spider-man. And he was also a hero. Darryl: Your friends are like Spider-man, if he had gotten bitten by a spider and then got really into m*st*rb*t*ng. [SCENE_BREAK] Wolf: Man, how cool is it gonna be when I start working here? Paintball fights at lunch. Dwight: Mandatory paintball. Uh, wolf, please report to the parking lot for mandatory paintball at lunch. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Wolf is hilarious. He has executed me over 100 times at point-blank range. Half of 'em, we were on the same team. Oh my God. How I screamed. Ah, that goof. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Sell me this piece of paper. Watch this. Wolf: Do you want this paper? Dwight: I sure do. Wolf: It's not very good. Dwight: I will pay you whatever it takes. Wolf: I think I wanna keep it now. It must be pretty special if you want it so bad. Dwight: No, you have lots of other pieces of paper that are just like it. So here, just take my money. Wolf: Stop trying to get my paper buddy. Okay read my lips. It's over. Dwight: Okay. Good. That was great. So. Wow. You're still at the 570 number? Wolf: I am. Dwight: Okay. Good, good, good. [sighs] [SCENE_BREAK] Hide: I have eight years experience selling electronics in Sanyo store in downtown Tokyo. I was a doctor. And I have a business degree from Tokyo University. Dwight: This isn't gonna work out. Hide: Thank you. [chuckles] [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Nate is a proven entity, but not without his handicaps; hearing, vision, basic cognition. Trevor is great, but I saw no fire in him today. And this is a guy who loves to start fires. Troy is literally one of a kind. He's a goblin, or a hobbit, or a kobold, which is a type of gremlin. And yet I'm hesitant. Why can't I pull the trigger on any of them? [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [groaning] No, no, no. I just need to tell them. I just need to tell them. [knock at door] Melvina: Do you need to be changed? Dwight: I do that myself now. Melvina: Mm. Are you going to make a decision soon? I've been double-parked for five hours. I'm wondering if I should move my car. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: No, you've been towed by now. They tow after about 45 minutes. Melvina: Well, the joke's on them. I live right next to the tow yard. All they did was save me some gas. Trevor: Hey man, we get how difficult this is. And no matter how you choose, we're still gonna be your friend. Wolf: Yeah, whether it's me or Troy Underbridge, or Gabor, or Melvina- Dwight: Or none of you [chuckles] Wolf: Yeah, you'd bring us all down here, put us through the wringer and then choose none of us. Trevor: Can you imagine how insulting that would be? The contempt that a person like that would have to have for you. Dwight: I wish I could hire all of you. Zeke: I could start Monday. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Psst. Jim Jim? [whispering] Jim, turn around. Jim, turn around. Jim, turn around. Jim: Ahh, I love staring off in one direction. If I'm not looking south, I'm not livin'. That's what I always say. Dwight: Just act natural. [grunts] [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: And I was thinking it's only fair that you help make this decision since they'll be sitting at your desk next to your wife. Jim: But you know I wouldn't hire any of these all-stars. Dwight: Aah! God, that sucks! Aah! What are you gonna do? I mean, it's your call. Jim: Nope. Your friends not turning out to be as great as you thought? Not even Gabor? Dwight: I guess I just have higher standards for my work colleagues than for my friends. I just couldn't picture any of them in the old gold and gray. Jim: I knew it. You designed a uniform for Dunder Mifflin. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Summer. Winter. Jungle. Formal. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Well, I for one, was amazed at how qualified everyone was. You? Dwight: Yes. Thank you. Amazed. Jim: And I gotta say, this was a tough decision. And we had to go with none of you. Sensei Ira: I'm sorry? Dwight: What? This is such bullcrap! Jim: Well, you know, Wallace put me in charge, so you have no say. Dwight: Wow. So much crap. It's just a load of B.C. How could you do this to them? Jim: Too much now. Dwight: Okay. Nate: Do we get our resumes back or do you keep them? Because I only have the one, and I have a chili recipe on the back that I really wanna keep. Dwight: Okay, this is an outrage. Ugh! You know what? This is Jim Halpert's home address, in case you guys wanna toilet paper his house or whatever. Jim: That seems inconsiderate. Rolf: No. We get it. Thanks so much for the opportunity, Dwight. Don't open any suspicious packages you may receive. No, wait. Do open them. Totally safe. Dwight: Guys, it wasn't up to me. Rolf, come on. Guys, it wasn't my choice! I would have hired all of you! Gabor, Gabor. Trevor: Well, my day's shot. Rolf: Yeah, it's that weird hour where it's too late to start a slow roast and too early for a Swanson's. Wolf: I got it. Paintball. Dwight: Oh, that sounds awesome. Can we wait till I get off work? Trevor: [yelling] And what are we supposed to do until then? Dwight: Okay. Wolf: Let's just go, you guys. Rolf: Yeah. No limit on weapons class, right? Jim: All right. I think that went well. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: So, uh, if you just take a look at this, and then that'll print out-Hey. Meet your new desk mate. Clark: What's up good lookin'? Pam: Oh, cool. Hey Clark. Jim: Trust me, this is the least of all evils. It took me all day to pull this off, so you should be thrilled, considering. Pam: Yeah, I guess. I mean, I kinda liked my old desk mate. Jim: Okay. I'm really sorry I told the guys I'd be there for the board meeting. Pam: Of course. Jim: I'll call you when I get there. Pam: Okay. Jim: All right. Pam: Bye. Jim: Take care of my wife. I will be back. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: They say that everyone outgrows their friends at some point in their lives. Well I just outgrew them all in the span of three hours. [SCENE_BREAK] Clark: Hey, Pam, I'm going to the kitchen. You want anything? Pam: I'm good. Dwight: Oh, hey, I'll take a coffee. Clark: Oh, I'm sorry. You gotta be this cool for coffee. Dwight: [scoffs] Pam: Hey, Dwight. Wanna haze the new guy? Dwight: Who, me? Pam: Us. Dwight: Absolutely, I do. [giggles] Pam: Okay. Okay, here. Okay, so the next time he goes to the bathroom, I'll distract him, you take that. Dwight: Okay, yeah, I know what to do. Okay. Oh, that's great. Pam: [shushes] Pam & Dwight: [laughs] Dwight: Aah! Clark: No! Dwight: Welcome to the club, pig! [laughs] Pam: No, Dwight! Dwight: Aah! [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: No, it does matter who ends up sitting next to Pam when I'm gone. The people around you are basically who you end up spending your life with. I mean, because of where my desk was, I spent all those years looking at Pam, and I fell in love. So, that stuff matters. Definitely does.

Dunder Mifflin CEO David Wallace ( Andy Buckley ) tasks Dwight with finding a part-time replacement for Jim; Dwight in turn enlists several of his close friends, including his cousin Mose ( Michael Schur ). Pam tries to find out who her new desk mate will be.

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ACT ONE TENNESSEE, ANYONE? Scene One - Frasier's Apartment. It is early morning, Frasier picks up his paper in his dressing gown, when Sherry enters in her kimono. Sherry: Morning, sunshine! Frasier: Morning, Sherry. Sherry: Coffee's on, want a cuppa? Frasier: No thank you, caffeine only weakens the immune system. I'm fighting off a flu. Daphne enters in a tight white top. Sherry: Oh, I'm sorry. Let me get you some breakfast. Frasier: No, no that's really not necessary. Sherry: Oh, no, no, you'll feel much better once you've had my scrambled egg tacos and Spam patties. She exits to the kitchen. Frasier: Yes, in keeping with the trusty adage, "starve a cold, disgust a fever." Daphne: Tea and dry toast? Frasier: Oh, bless you. In the kitchen, Sherry removes fresh biscuits from the oven. Daphne enters the kitchen and begins washing a dish. Sherry: Oh honey, I was using that! Daphne: Oh, sorry. Sherry: No problem. Listen, why don't you just relax? I'll clean up later. She takes the Spam patties out. Daphne: You know, not to criticise, but I usually serve Mr. Crane whole grain cereal for breakfast. I try to avoid giving him fried foods. Sherry: Oh, Marty loves fried foods. Daphne: Yes well, just because he likes something doesn't mean it's good for him. Sherry: True, but just because something's good for him doesn't mean that he has to be stuck with it day after day. In the living room, Martin arrives upon Frasier reading the paper. Martin: It looks like it's going to be another scorcher. Frasier: Hmm. Martin: Radio said high nineties. Frasier: [not interested] Yes, hot. Martin: Yeah, well, I guess they'll be some more brown-outs. I hate to think what it'll do to the crops. He takes a part of Frasier's newspaper. Frasier: Dad please, I'm trying to read. Martin: Oh, sure, sorry. [reading:] Oh, another double homicide last night. You know, with this heat wave going I'm not surprised. I wonder what started that? Frasier: Perhaps someone wouldn't stop talking about the weather. Martin: What? Yeah, you might be right, it's a real scorcher out there. Sherry and Daphne enter with breakfast. Sherry: Morning, handsome! Did I say that before? Martin: Before, and after! They laugh while Daphne looks disgusted. Frasier: Please, would you two spare me the single entendre this morning? I'm trying to avoid getting sick. Sherry: Well there's nothing like one of momma's big biscuits if you're fighting something off. [hands one to him] Frasier: Yes, I'm sure with good aim it could bring down an elk! Sherry: [to Daphne:] What about you, sweetie? Daphne: Oh, just half of one for me. Sherry: [places one on her plate:] Oh come on, wouldn't hurt you to put on a few pounds. Men like to see a little oomph in your walk-away. Martin: Yeah, you ought to see them smile when Sherry leaves the room! Daphne: I can imagine. [laughs with Frasier] Sherry: [holds Daphne's face:] Oh, now, you're so pretty. I don't understand why men aren't just buzzing around you. Frasier, you're not seeing anybody. Here you are under the same roof, both cute as corn! Why don't you two... Frasier: Just stop right there. I'm trying to have a peaceful morning and I do not want to be put on the spot, I do not want to eat some bizarre breakfast concoction, [to Martin:] and I do not want to discuss the weather. I just want to try and conserve energy, sit here, and enjoy my paper. Martin: Sure, Fras. Martin, without speaking, mimes asking for something. Sherry, without speaking, gives him a taco shell filled with scrambled eggs. They carry on doing this along with Daphne, completely irritating Frasier. He pretends to ignore it and turns over his newspaper. Eventually, the three take a big loud bite from their tacos which makes Frasier pick up his paper and leave. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Two - KACL. In Frasier's booth, Roz and Bulldog are fighting like a couple of ten-year-olds. Several employees are watching them from the hallway and laughing. Roz forces him face-down over the console and pounds him with her fist. Roz: I'm gonna break every bone in your bent little body! Bulldog: Hey, if you weren't a girl and I didn't kinda like this, I'd be pounding ya! Roz starts gnawing on the back of his neck as Frasier enters. [N.B. How like Ugolino and the Archbishop in Dante's "Inferno."] Frasier: Bup-bup-bup! Not another word! Roz: But he...! Frasier: Bup! I don't care who did what to whom or in what disgusting manner. As we speak, hordes of viral Visigoths are hurling themselves over the battlements of my immune system, laying waste to my... Oh, dear God, you see how weak I am? I can't even finish a simple Visigoth metaphor. Bulldog: Well, if you get sick don't go sneezing on everything. The last time the Happy Chef got a cold I was peeling lettuce off the mike for a week. He slaps Roz on the backside and scampers before she can get him. Roz: You will not believe what he... Frasier: Hey! Roz, I meant what I said! I simply cannot deal with other people's problems today. Roz: Well, good news for Mark on line three, whose wife is keeping a pumpkin in a bassinet! Hey, I know what'll make you feel better. My friend Lisa's having a singles party tonight. I'm supposed to bring someone who I'm not interested in but who's a really good catch. Frasier: Oh... Roz, please, I need my rest. You know, even if I didn't, I do not want to be poked and prodded by a bunch of desperate, alcohol-lubricated husband-hunters. Roz: Oh, come on, it'll be fun! [suggestively] Cheryl from Sales was asking if you'd be there. Frasier: Cheryl - isn't she the one who, at the last company wedding, hip-checked you into the ice sculpture in her headlong rush to catch the bouquet? Roz: That is not what happened! She thought the bartender said "last call." Frasier gives her a look. Bulldog re-enters. Bulldog: Look Roz, I'm not going to fight you anymore. But I want you to know you said a lot of things that really hurt my feelings. Fun is fun, but I'm not made of stone. So I want you to know as of this moment, we work together but we are no longer friends! Roz: Do you want to go to a party tonight? Bulldog: I'm there! [SCENE_BREAK] CAT FIGHT ON A HOT TIN ROOF Scene Three - Frasier's Apartment. Martin and Sherry are playing cards in the living room, when Daphne Enters with the exercise mat. Daphne: Ready to do your exercises? Martin: No, in a minute. Sherry: Just a couple more hands. Daphne: You said that half an hour ago! Sherry: [to Martin:] Guess I must be a bad influence. Martin: Yeah, next thing you know you're going to have me smoking behind the gym! [they laugh] Daphne: I'm sorry, but it's for your own good. I want you down on your back in two minutes and no arguments. Martin: [to Sherry:] Sounds a lot better when you say it! [they laugh] The phone rings. Daphne answers it. Daphne: Hello? Speaking. Oh, she did, did she? Well, Sherry was mistaken, I don't go out with people I've never met. Thank you anyway. [puts phone down] I can't believe it! You gave my number to a total stranger?! Sherry: I thought it would be a nice surprise, you're not seeing anybody. Kenny is a great guy! Daphne: He said his name was Jack. Sherry: Oh, I forgot about Jack. Daphne: There's more than one?! Sherry: Well, I hope you're a lot nicer to Kenny when he calls. He has a boat! Daphne: Why don't you just squeeze me into a pair of hot-pants and drop me off down by the docks? Sherry rises, insulted. At the same moment, Frasier is getting in the elevator to go to his (hopefully) peaceful home. No luck, I'm afraid. A man gets into the elevator clearing his throat. This makes Frasier nervous. Suddenly, as the doors close, the man begins coughing violently, scaring Frasier. However, when Frasier gets up to his floor, violence takes on a new meaning. In the apartment, things are going bad. Sherry: Maybe you wouldn't be so touchy if you didn't wake up on the wrong side of no one every morning. Daphne: That's your answer to everything, s*x! It's like you're part rabbit! People ought to rub your feet for luck! Martin: Come on now, you don't want to say something you're going to regret! Now you're acting like a couple of fishwives! [they both stare at him, offended] See, I'm regretting that one already. Daphne: Maybe I'd be less touchy if I didn't spend half my time cleaning up after you, and the other half on the phone to the garbage disposal repair man because one of your bloody big biscuits broke the blade! Sherry: There's a lot of "B" words for a little girl. Here's one you forgot... Sherry/Daphne: B-!/Oh, don't you dare! Sherry: What do you mean don't I dare! They carry on arguing as Frasier enters. They all stop when he slams the door. Frasier: Is Seattle experiencing a Prozac shortage?! Martin: Oh, Daphne and Sherry have a little problem. Actually, maybe you can settle it. Frasier: Sorry Dad, it was all I could do to get through my show. King Solomon has split his last baby for the day, my health is hanging by a thread. [they start to protest] Bup-bup-bup! You're just going to have to settle this amongst yourselves, quietly! He exits. Daphne: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me that way! Sherry: Me? You're the one who started it, didn't she, Marty? Martin: Hey, you're not putting me in the middle of this. Daphne: I didn't start anything. You've had your big conk in my business all day! Sherry: That better mean "nose"! Daphne: And what if it doesn't? Martin: Hey! Come on, knock it off. Now, I said I wouldn't get involved in this, but... Daphne, you know, Sherry was only trying to be nice. Daphne: [picks up her bag] Of course you'd take her side, she's the one who keeps your hammer toes warm at night. Martin: What the hell's that supposed to mean? Daphne: Oh, figure it out! Martin: Oh, come on, Daph... Daphne leaves, slamming the door behind her. [SCENE_BREAK] SUDDENLY THIS SUMMER Scene Four - Niles's Apartment Niles is sitting on his couch, sipping wine and reading a book, with his cockatoo sitting on his shoulder. He is dressed all in white, and there is a large fan blowing in one corner, but the heat still makes it hard for him to concentrate on his book or his wine. [N.B. All-white ensembles are a trademark of Tennessee Williams's plays - as are atmospheres of high sexual tension.] The doorbell rings, which of course makes Baby shriek and dig her claws in. Niles: Ow, ow! Baby, go to your perch, go to your perch. She does. Niles gets up and flexes his shoulder before answering the door to a rather hot-and-bothered Daphne. Niles: Daphne? Daphne: I'm so sorry to bother you, Dr. Crane, but I had an awful row with Sherry and I can't go back there. I tried a couple of my girlfriends, but they weren't home. So... may I spend the night here? Niles stares at her in disbelief. CUT TO: a few moments later. He is lying on the couch after fainting. Daphne is reviving him. Daphne: Relax, Dr. Crane, I'm just unbuttoning your shirt. He faints again. End of Act One. (Time: 11:27) Act Two. Scene Five - Niles's Apartment Later, Niles awakes in the same position. Daphne: Are you feeling any better? Niles: Yes. I don't know what happened, my knees never buckled like that before. The wine and the heat must have made me dizzy. Daphne: Yes, it is rather steamy in here. Niles: I apologise for the lack of air conditioning. It seems in order to live in an exclusive landmark building, one must have to sweat through the odd heat wave like a tortured character in a [trails off as Daphne lifts her shirt up over the fan] Tennessee... Williams... play. Daphne: I can't imagine what you must be thinking. Me barging in, asking to stay the night... [bends over and lets the air blow down the front of her shirt] Niles: Well, gee I'm just thinking so many things. [takes a long sip of his wine] Daphne: Sherry just makes me so mad. [turns around and lets it blow up her back] She's been giving my number to strange men so they'd call and ask me out. Niles: How dare she! Why would she do such a thing? Daphne: Because she says I'm too rigid. Niles: Nonsense! Daphne: And that I'm too picky. Niles: Poppycock! Daphne: And that I'd be much happier if I just went out and had s*x with someone. Niles stays quiet and sits next to Daphne thinking about a possible, but unlikely, future. Niles: Just to play Devil's advocate... Daphne: Don't tell me you agree with her! Niles: No, no. It's much too hot for hell to have frozen over. Daphne: I mean, it's like caveman thinking! "All Daphne needs is a quick roll in the hay!" Niles: [turned on:] Yes, well... Daphne: "A little slap and tickle would solve all her problems!" Niles: Yeah, um... Daphne: The worse part is... I think she might be right. Maybe part of why I got so mad at her is because she hit a nerve. Niles: It's very possible. Daphne: [lying back:] I mean, I have been keeping myself on the shelf lately. I'm feeling a little like the good China. Niles: Someone should be eating off you everyday. There is a tense silence. Niles: Hmm... music? Daphne: Lovely. He gets up and goes to the stereo. Daphne: You know, I hope this doesn't sound terribly forward, but I'm so hot. I'd really love to get out of these sweaty clothes. Niles cannot believe what he has just heard. At his waist level the CD player pops open (rather imitating something else). He pushes it closed again. Daphne: Would it be all right if I took a cool bath? Niles: Yes, of course. It's upstairs, third door on your left. Daphne: Thank you. [runs up to the first balcony] Niles: There are fresh towels in the linen closet - use the Indian cotton, it will be more gentle on your skin. Daphne: Oh, Dr. Crane, you're always thinking of me. [she leaves] Niles: [to himself:] You have no idea! [SCENE_BREAK] THE NIGHT OF THE I WANNA [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Six - Niles's Apartment. Later, Niles is setting up the living room: Passion fruit has been laid out in a tray. He takes a bottle of champagne from an ice bucket and is starting to open it when Daphne enters, wearing one of his dressing gowns. Daphne: Dr. Crane? Ooh, that fan feels good. As Daphne comes down the stairs, the fan blows open the dressing gown below the belt, revealing her legs and a glimpse of her underwear. She laughs and covers up. In Niles's hand, the champagne pops open and overflows (again imitating something else). Niles: Oh, sorry! Daphne: That's quite all right. Thanks for lending me your dressing gown. Don't you just love the feel of silk on your skin? Niles: Yes, there's nothing quite like it. Passion fruit? Daphne: Thank you! [sits on the couch and takes a bite] You know, if you keep treating me like this I'll never want to leave. Niles: [laughs, then:] Champagne? Daphne: Oh, you shouldn't have! [laughs] Niles: I love champagne, but it's a drink for two and I never have anyone to share it with. [pours two] Daphne: Yes, there are things you miss when you're on your own: champagne, another person's touch - even if it's just holding hands. I guess you've been missing that sort of thing too since you and Mrs. Crane split up. [touches Niles's hand] Niles: Well actually, Maris never held hands. She had a slight webbing which made her self-conscious. Daphne: Well, I'm sure there are other intimacies you miss. Niles: Well, actually I still have a longing for... [she chuckles] I still have a desire for, um, to have... Daphne/Niles: s*x?/[offering:] Fruit? Niles: I mean, yeah, s*x. Daphne: I'd love some. A split-second of tension... Daphne: [laughs:] I mean fruit! Although s*x is good too! Niles doesn't know what to do, but Daphne just chuckles along. Daphne: I'm sorry, Dr. Crane, I guess I just have s*x on the mind tonight! Niles watches as she dips her passion fruit into her champagne and sucks it sensually. Niles: Well, that happens. Daphne: And this weather doesn't help, does it? [lays back:] The heat gets inside you... it makes you so aware of your body. It's like nature's way of letting you know you're still an animal. Niles lets out a low growl. Daphne exhales and droops back over the couch. Niles: God, it's hot in here. Daphne: It seems to be getting hotter every minute. Niles: [taking some ice from the wine cooler] Ice? Daphne: Oh yes, I could use some right now. She takes one of the two pieces in his hand, but instead of dropping it in her glass she rubs it over her neck (and steals a glance at his butt). Daphne: [Moaning:] Ohhh... Oh yes, that's better... Staring at her in his daze, Niles doesn't know whether he's in heaven or not. Daphne: Where's your piece? Niles: [snaps out of it, opens his hand:] It melted. I'll get another. Daphne: You know, unless it cools down, I'm afraid we won't be getting much sleep tonight. Niles: Shame we have just the one fan. Daphne: Oh, really? [plain:] Yes, that is a shame. The two of us and just one fan... The sexual tension between the two is now at its height. It is obvious that not only is Niles thinking about jumping into bed with Daphne, but Daphne wants the same. They both stare into the fan, waiting for events to happen. Who will be the first to crack? Daphne: Well of course, you're the host, you take it. Niles: No, no, I couldn't sleep at all knowing you were in the next room all hot and... hot. Daphne: Well... I suppose, under the circumstances... we could both sleep in the same room. Niles: [his heart pounding:] It does... oscillate. Daphne: [mouth wide open:] What? Niles: The fan. Daphne: Oh... They both are ready for s*x, until a little bell on Daphne's watch goes off. Daphne: Oh, dear. Niles: What? Daphne: It's time to take my pills. I forgot all about them, they're back at the apartment. Niles: What pills? Daphne: It's my thyroid. Nothing serious, it's just a bit overactive. If I don't take my pills I tend to faint dead away. Niles: What's the point in a fainting couch if you can't use it once in a while? Daphne: I'll just run over and get them. I'll come right back. Niles: No! We'll go together and I'll run up for you. If you and Sherry get into the same room together the two of you might make up... [covering:] ...more reasons to fight with one another. Daphne agrees and goes to get changed. Niles is now the one who is hot under the collar so he cools himself off on the fan. [SCENE_BREAK] THE BATH MENAGERIE Scene Seven - Frasier's Apartment Niles enters Frasier's apartment silently. Sherry is trying to settle things with Martin in the kitchen. It seems that Sherry has forgiven Daphne, and that she will make it up with her. Niles silently creeps around to find Daphne's pills. However, Sherry spots him. Sherry: Nilesy! Where did you come from? Martin: What are you doing here? Niles: Daphne's taken refuge at my apartment for the night. I just stopped by to get a few of her things. [moves away] Martin: Back! You weren't going to tell us, you were going to let us worry all night? Niles: No, I was going to tell you on my way out. Martin: Oh this is stupid, I'm going to call her and get her back here and we're going to work this whole thing out. Niles: Dad, it's a waste of time, she's so upset there is no way she'll ever set foot in this apartment tonight! However, Daphne sets foot in the apartment as he speaks. Niles: If you don't believe me, you can ask her yourselves. Daphne: I just remembered, my pills aren't in the medicine cabinet, they're on my dresser. Niles: What courage, pulling yourself together like this, just scurry on down to the car, and I'll only be a moment. [Martin holds him back] Martin: Er Daphne, Sherry and I talked about this, and we really feel bad about this. You know, the whole thing is just a misunderstanding. Sherry: If you want, I suppose we could sit down and talk it out. Daphne: Well, I suppose we could. Niles: Obviously these two wildcats can't come to terms. The best thing will be for them to be apart. I know, I'm a psychiatrist. Sherry: No, your dad is right. Now Daphne just misunderstood. Daphne: I didn't exactly misunderstand. You did set me up with a total stranger! Sherry: Oh, but he's not a stranger, he comes in the bar all the time. Daphne: Oh, a barfly! Much better. Sherry: Oh, there you go again! Daphne: Me! Martin: [trying to mend] You know, you two are really a lot alike. Both: How dare you!/I'm nothing like her. Niles: [happy about the arguments, he runs to the medicine cabinet:] Talk amongst yourselves! Martin leaves and even Eddie buries his head in a pillow, tired of the arguing. Meanwhile, in his bathroom, Frasier is soaking up his troubles in a bath of bubbles. His eyes are closed, under a therapeutic mask. Martin: [o.s.] Frasier? Frasier: [wakes up] I'm taking a bath. He settles back down again, but Martin comes in anyway. Martin: Bubbles?! Frasier: They're aromatherapeutic. And exactly what part of "I'm taking a bath" did you take to mean "come on in"? Martin: Well, I'm sorry to tax your delicate system, but Daphne is back, and she and Sherry are at it again, and I don't know what to do and this is your department! Frasier: Yes, all right, unless blood has been spilled, and on a carpeted area, I don't care. Now get out! Sherry: [walks in:] There you are! Marty, I tried, but that girl has no manners whatsoever. [sits on bath] Hey, Frasier. Frasier: Do you mind! Daphne: [entering:] I knew I'd find you in here! [to Frasier:] Whatever they're telling you about me, it's not true. Frasier: Daphne, please, you can't come in here. Daphne: Why not? She can! Frasier: No, she can't, no-one can! Niles: [entering with Daphne's things:] Frasier, have you no decency? Daphne, let's go! Frasier: All right! I am moments away from succumbing once and for all to this flu. I am going to take one stab at this and then I am going to sink, Hippopotamus-like, beneath the bubbles. I think what this all comes down to is a dispute over turf. Daphne and Sherry are like two animals scent-marking their territory, which in this case is you, Dad. Martin: You couldn't come out with a less disgusting comparison? Frasier: All right, all right, fine, it's like the Roman emperor Tiberius, his mother Livia, and his wife Vipsania. Martin: What? Sherry: Huh? Daphne: Who? Niles: Go on. Frasier: Fine! Daphne: your primary role in this household is to take care of Dad. Sherry: you also enjoy taking care of Dad. I suspect that your attempts to find Daphne a boyfriend are really an unconscious ploy to get her out of the way. [she starts to protest] It's unconscious. Sherry thinks about it. Frasier: Daphne, naturally you are threatened by this and you feel you are no longer needed. Daphne: Yes, I have been feeling a bit unwanted lately. Niles: Well, a night without your services will have them singing a different tune, let's go. Frasier: Nobody's going to be singing anything tonight! Daphne, I think we now all understand why you stormed out of here earlier. A strong emotion like not feeling wanted can drive anyone into a rash and impulsive act. Daphne: [glances at Niles] Yes, it nearly did... I mean, yes it did. Niles nearly drops to the floor. Frasier: Well, at the root of this, you're both just feeling insecure. Martin: Exactly! They all look at him. Frasier: Though it could probably have been avoided if Dad had been sensitive enough to remind you that you are both important in his life. Martin: What are you saying? That it's my fault? Daphne: Well I must admit, a few reassuring words might just have done the trick. Sherry: Marty does have difficulty expressing his feelings. Martin: No, I don't! Daphne: Oh, Sherry... Sherry: Oh, save it honey, it wasn't our fault. Martin: Yes, it was! [to Sherry:] You said that she was skinny and [to Daphne:] you said that she was big-mouthed. Frasier: Now, that is not important. We all feel better now. Martin: Well, I don't! Frasier: Oh look, I am running out of patience, I am running out of strength, and I am running out of bubbles! Please, the lecture has ended! Everyone starts to get up and leave. Daphne: You're a good psychiatrist, Dr. Crane. Sherry: You sure are, hon'. [as they leave:] You see, Marty, it isn't just a lot of hooey! Frasier, too tired to be insulted, sinks into his bath. Niles is the only one left. Niles: [sarcastic:] Thank you very much! Frasier: Oh please, Niles. Look, unconsciously you knew it wasn't right. That's why you brought Daphne back here. Niles: No, we came back to fetch her damn thyroid pills. Frasier: You're a doctor. Why didn't you just use your prescription pad? Niles cannot believe it. Niles: Oh my God... Frasier: Isn't there an all-night pharmacy across the street from your building? Niles: Oh my God! Niles leaves nearly in tears, whilst Frasier ignores him and sinks under the bubbles. However, the bubbles just cause him to come up and sneeze. End Of Act Two (Time: 21:22) [SCENE_BREAK] Frasier wipes the bubbles off his face in the bath, whilst Eddie trots in. He gets up on the side and gets ready to jump into the water. However, Frasier shouts at him making him run away. Frasier finally settles down beneath the bubbles.

A heat wave is sweeping Seattle , Frasier is battling the flu and in no mood to help anyone, Sherry is staying over with Martin more frequently, and Daphne is irritated by Sherry's constant undermining of her attempts to get Martin to do his exercises and eat healthier food. She then finds that Sherry has been giving her phone number to strangers to try to set her up, and storms out of the apartment. Unable to stay with friends, she goes to Niles' apartment, and asks to stay the night.

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[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Doyle: So what brings you both to our town? Mags: Raylan's looking for Boyd Crowder. Raylan: Actually, no. Rachel: We're looking for James Earl Dean. Jimmy: I came back here because of you, Loretta. Walt: When he came by here, he just said he was some bank man. Loretta: Well, he followed me into the shed. Walt: Oh, Jesus. Loretta: I'll go talk to Mags. She likes me. Mags: How is your daddy, Loretta? He taking care of you? Keeping a proper home? Loretta: He sits in his chair, mostly. Mags: When he's not growing weed without my say-so. As for the pervert, you don't have to worry about him no more. Jimmy: Get in. Loretta: [ Squeals ] Mags: Loretta okay? Walt: Fine, under the circumstances. Mags: Brought this 'shine as a peace offering. Walt: It does taste like apple pie. Mags: It was already in the glass, not in the jar. Find the girl. Dickie: [ Panting ] Coover: Come on, Mary. Dickie: [ Groans ] [ Coughs ] Coover: Man. Dickie: Whoo! Coover: He ain't been dead long enough to be stinking like that. You think he sh1t himself? Dickie: Maybe you should check. Coover: Maybe I will. Dickie: Oh, boy. Yeah, get the lime. Go and get the lime. Coover: No, you get it. I'll spring the... Dickie: Hey! Go get the lime. Coover: I got the crowbar, Monkeynuts. You get it. What, are you worried that the lime's too heavy? [ Chuckles ] Let's go! How deep you reckon that is? Dickie: Why don't you jump in and find out? Coover: How come we got to use the lime? No way that stink can travel that far. Dickie: 'Cause mama said so. [ Coughs ] Coover: That's good. [ Thudding ] [ Buzzer sounds ] Boyd: Step out of the hole to find Raylan Givens waiting for me. For a second I thought I was 19 again. Raylan: Yeah, I was just thinking. Last time I was down a dog-hole mine was Myrtle Creek, you and me running for our lives. [ Chuckles ] I'll tell you. I'm not afraid of heights, snakes, or redheaded women, but I am afraid of that. Boyd: Yeah, well, not a lot of legal employment opportunity in Harlan County... At least not for a man with my skill set. Besides, wasn't it you that said I like to get money and blow sh1t up? Raylan: Buy you a drink? Boyd: [ Chuckles ] When a deputy United States marshal offers to buy a drink in a dry county, a cautious man might turn him down. Raylan: Well, you could always claim entrapment. But I take your point. What if I said, "Let's drive to a puddle, and I'll buy you a drink"? Boyd: Well, I'd say, "Cumberland's the closest." Raylan: Okay, so... Boyd: Bartender... Raylan: Just so we're clear... Boyd: Let's do that again. Raylan: Genie don't go back in the bottle twice, anything happens to the niece, Gio goes square stir... Is that all you wanted? Making sure I wasn't gonna throw any gasoline on the Cuban fire? Raylan: Life don't hand out too many second chances, Boyd. I just hope you take advantage of yours. Boyd: Gio and his niece got nothing to fear from me, my friend, because my outlaw ways are behind me. Raylan: Just you saying that scares the sh1t out of me. Boyd: God's honest truth. Raylan: Hold on a second. The more you say it, the less I believe it. Boyd: Believe it or not, Raylan, all I want is to do my job and to be left alone. I hope that's not too much to ask. Raylan: Okay. Hold on. I'm sorry, Art. Cumberland, having a conversation with Boyd Crowder. Art says hi. Hmm? Oh, for... No, no, no, no. I'll take care of it. Maybe I can use it. Yeah. Yeah, tell him... tell him I said I appreciate the call, and I'll get back to him. [ Scoffs ] Believe me. I'm thinking about it. Boyd: Who's Art? Raylan: My boss. Boyd: You mean the man who hit my hands with a Bible? Raylan: [ Chuckles ] You remember. Boyd: I'm surprised he hasn't transferred you, all the trouble you've drawn. Raylan: Oh, you think I draw it? Boyd: Oh, you think you don't? Raylan: I got to go. We're gonna continue this conversation another time. Boyd: There's nothing to continue, 'cause you'll never believe me. Bartender? Let's do that one more time. Helen: Deputy marshal Givens, as I live and breathe! Raylan: Aunt Helen. Helen: You want to come in and have a slice of jam cake? Raylan: Oh, that's tempting, but... Helen: But this isn't a social call. Raylan: The monitoring company's saying Arlo's violated his tether range. Helen: I wouldn't know anything about that. Arlo! Arlo!! Arlo: What?! Helen: You're violating! Arlo: I'm what?! Raylan: You're kidding. You think I got a camper in the yard `cause I like the look? Arlo: What did you say? Raylan: She said, "you're violating." You're outside your tether range. Arlo: I think the skin is infected. That qualifies for "cruel and unusual." Raylan: Yeah, well, if you want to get it off, return the 20 grand we gave you. Arlo: You gave it to me to give to Bo. How do I know what happened to it after that? Raylan: Not my job. Arlo: Not your money. What do you care? Raylan: Get in the house. Helen: He does, and I'll shoot his other arm. Raylan: You told her? Helen: I could always give him a pass for what he did to Frances and me, since we both had the bad sense to choose him, but betraying his only son? Arlo: I don't have to listen to this sh1t. Raylan: Whoa. Is my money in there? Arlo: No. Raylan: Then that's the wrong way. You go in there, you're violating. I'm gonna haul you off to jail. Arlo: That's just chickenshit, and you know it. It's 10 feet! Raylan: Tell it to the judge. Arlo: Fine. Take me in. Better than staying here. Raylan: All right. Let's go. Helen: Get in the house. Arlo: Are you going to be civil with me? Helen: Get in the goddamn house! [ Screen door opens, closes ] Raylan: You kicked the man out of the house? He's under house arrest. [ Sighs ] Find out where he stashed my money. Give me a call. Helen: I find out where he stashed the money, I'm headed for Mexico. Raylan: Thank you! Helen: Oh, and leave Mags Bennett alone! Raylan: I'm sorry? Helen: I know you went by her store. Raylan: If I did? Helen: You're perfectly aware of that history. Arlo: What the hell you need to gyrate that for? Raylan: What I went down there for concerns the here and now, nothing to do with the past. Helen: That'd be a neat trick, escaping the past. Arlo: Mags Bennett is an old lady helping people with their glaucoma and stomach upset. Raylan: Just growing pot... That's her only business. Or is she someone who's gonna try and step up, take over where Hunter and Crowder left off? Don't think it's gonna be you, old man. No offense. Helen: Leave her alone. Arlo: Listen to your aunt. Helen: Get back in the house! Arlo: I hope you get cancer! Helen: Already had it! Arlo: I hope you get it again! Helen: Move out of the house! [ Screen door slams ] Mags: Ah! Morning, honey. Loretta: Morning. Doyle: You need anything else, mama? Mags: No. No, no. Now, you go on home now. [ Dog barks in distance ] How was Doyle's last night? Loretta: He has a lovely home. Mags: His boys are mighty rambunctious. Loretta: Yes, ma'am. Mags: And Sarah-Jean can't cook. You have your breakfast yet? Loretta: Yes, ma'am. Mags: That's good. Don't want to be one of them girls starves herself to death 'cause she thinks a man wants to cuddle up next to some gristle. [ Chuckles ] Thirsty? I got some cider. [ Sighs ] I'd say you're a good two years away from being ready for my "apple pie." I want to apologize for not protecting you from that pervert the way I promised. That boy's just lucky the marshals got to him before I did. He, uh... He really put you in the trunk? Loretta: Yeah. Mags: Good lord, you must have been terrified. Ooh! All alone in the dark. Could you hear anything? Loretta: [ Sighs ] Mostly just the tires on the road and the other cars passing. Mags: And before he put you in the trunk, he say anything to you then? Loretta: Just some of the things he was gonna do to me. Mags: Yeah, they'll take care of him in prison. Even the lowliest criminals don't look kindly on child molesters. I bet you wonder why you had to stay at Daws last night, and where your daddy is. Yeah. It's on the kind of the shooting my boys gave him and trapping his foot. When I heard out about that, I was devastated. So, I decided to make it up to your father, and I sent him down south for a few weeks, handle some business for us. Pays a lot more than tending that little patch. Of course, with the feds sniffing around, we had to spirit him away under cover of night. So he couldn't even wait for you to come home. [ Sighs ] Oh, you want a little more? Loretta: Okay. Mags: I never had a girl. Just those damn boys. I'm looking forward to our time together, Loretta. On this lonely road trying to make it home doing it by my lonesome pissed off, who wants some? I'm fighting for my soul God get at your boy you try to bogard fall back, I go hard What are you doing? Winona: Brown suit, black suit, one, two, three, four shirts, two pairs of jeans. Hmm. Raylan: What the hell's that supposed to mean? Winona: Oh, just by looking at your closet, one would think you were a simple man. Raylan: [ Inhales deeply ] Okay. I'm gonna go get some coffee. You want some? Winona: Oh, perfect. Raylan: Perfect what, Winona? Winona: You. You're running away. Raylan: I just offered to go get some coffee. How's that running away? Winona: I just made a simple observation. Raylan: No, you didn't. You tried to start a fight. Winona: Okay. Raylan? Raylan: Hmm? Winona: Are you staying in Kentucky? Raylan: They offered me my job back in Miami, and I'm here. What does that tell you? Winona: Well, you're also still at a place that puts a piece of paper over the toilet. So what does that tell me? Raylan: That it's sanitized for your protection. Winona: I know how much you make, Raylan. Come on. Raylan: I'm sorry? Winona: You can at least rent an apartment. Raylan: Maybe I should buy a house. Winona: Oh, that's...Okay. Raylan: No, I know the name of a very good realtor. Winona: You're an asshole. Raylan: I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry. You want to converse, we'll converse. You want to fight, we'll fight. It's not easy, by any stretch. Winona: Sometimes I look at you, and I never want to see you again. Raylan: Other times? Winona: There are no other times. Just that. Raylan... Other times I want to run away with you to Costa Rica. Raylan: Costa Rica? Winona: Mm-hmm. Hmm. Hmm. I can't be late. Raylan: Fine. But...I'm gonna need that shirt. Winona: I hate smelling you on me all day. Raylan: Should've taken another shower. You were the one who went for the victory lap. Gary: Well, hello, Raylan! Winona. Raylan: Gary. Gary: You know, I always forget your office is in this building. You two run into each other on the elevator a lot? I guess you must. Winona: Not as much as you might think. Raylan: My schedule's not very regular. Gary: Hey, hold on just a minute. Listen, Raylan. I was thinking, you know, maybe we should get together for a drink. Raylan: Why? Why would we do that? Gary: Well, we have something in common. We both been kicked to the curb by this one over here, you know? [ Chuckles ] Feels like it'd only be right for us to get together, tell some tales. You know, how O.C.D. she is, how loud she snores. Winona: Gary, what are you doing here? Raylan: Good to see you both. Gary: Good seeing you, Raylan. Hey, uh, I just want to let you know I'm planning to show the house again tonight. Winona: Well, that's fine, but you could have told me that over the phone. You know, I misplaced my cellphone can you believe that? Anyway I'll see you tonight. Okay. Boy you smelled nice. Raylan, this isn't a punishment detail. Jimmy burglar needs a transport, you need an assignment. You don't think you can handle it? Oh, you wanna do it? By yourself? Hey, maybe get another reward. Raylan's not going by himself. Oh and by the way, you might wanna bring some plastic and towels for the backseat, in case everything goes south. Just the two of you? I had an instructor at Glynco say that two Marshals should be enough to transport King Kong. Well, I was just sayin. Let it go. We know what you're sayin. I need you to initial here... and... Mm-hmm. Well, I guess you've done this before. Once or twice. Miss Burglin. I'm Deputy Marshal Gutterson, this is Deputy Marshal Givens. - Hello. Now they've told you no leg irons right? Yeah we read the new guidelines. We going to the Doctor or Rodeo? Goodness great. Raylan: You all right? Jamie: I'm not contracting. Don't worry. I've got a hemorrhoid the size of a golf ball. How are you? Tim: Well, long as you don't give birth during the ride, we're fine. Jamie: Look at you boys, all nervous. You gonna ask? Tim: Ask what? Jamie: How I got pregnant. Tim: I don't remember much from health class, but I do remember that and what untreated venereal disease looks like. Jamie: [ Chuckles ] When I was at Marysville, I had conjugal with my husband. Tim: Is he taking custody of the baby? Jamie: Who, A.J.? A.J. can't take care of himself. Tim: Well, it's got to be better than foster care. Jamie: Hey, hey, don't knock foster care. Look where it got me. [ Door closes ] Jamie: Hey, Alisha. How are you, girl? Alisha: Good morning, Ms. Berglund. Jamie: Good morning. Tim: I'm assuming you know the drill. Alisha: Yes, sir, we handle all the ultrasounds for FMC inmates. Raylan: You get a lot of pregnant women inside? Alisha: Not too many. If you'd bring Ms. Berglund to exam room one, there should be a gown in there for her to put on. Tim: Window in exam room one? Alisha: No, sir. Tim: All right. Jamie: You're afraid of... Raylan: Do you know the gentleman who's in your waiting room? Alisha: His wife has a dating scan scheduled for...11:30. Raylan: And where is she? Alisha: Running late. [SCENE_BREAK] Jess: You fellas cops? I couldn't help but notice the young lady you came in with was all chained up. Figured if she was your wife, she wouldn't take too kindly to that. Raylan: Did you find out? Jess: What's that? Raylan: Boy or girl? Jess: It's a boy. Raylan: This your first? Jess: How could you tell? Raylan: You seem a bit jumpy, you don't mind me saying. Jess: Don't mind you saying at all. But honestly, I'm not scared. 15 years old, I let a coal train run over me. I was gonna dodge it, but then I decided to lay down between the rails. 60 miles an hour, 80 cars, all about an inch from the tip of my nose. During that whole time I not once blinked my eyes. See, once you face down a coal train, facing a loaded gun just doesn't have the same effect. Alisha: Deputy! Jess: Don't try it, partner. I'll gut-shoot you both before you clear that holster. [ Whistles ] Nice touch making the appointment. Thank you kindly there Marshal. I guess this ain't my first rodeo. Sweetheart, why don't you stand up here next to the marshals? And, gentlemen, why don't you take out your sidearms? You put yours on the ground, yours right there on the counter. And then cuff yourselves. Anybody makes a move, you shoot her first. What's the holdup there, fellas? Raylan: Well, I've never had to cuff myself. Jess: [ Sighs ] Fine. I'll do it. You do the cowboy's, and I'll take care of you. Jamie: I'm sorry about this, boys. I hope you understand. Raylan: [ Scoffs ] You sure this is the way you want to go out? Jamie: I'm sure my baby shouldn't have to ride my rap. Art: Gotten anything, gentlemen? Tim: A.J. Logan. That's the husband and baby daddy. Raylan: Not either of the guys that was at the clinic. Art: Well, we'll bring him in, anyway. What about this guy? Tim: We have a winner. Raylan: That's the one who pulled. Art: Jess Timmons. We got him off that print that we pulled off the cuff. Good job. Tim: Actually, that was Raylan's play. Art: Jess Timmons is a Louisville hard case. Two falls. Last bit was a two-year stint at Northpoint. Manslaughter. Paroled June of '07. Tim: Well, who leaked her appointment time? Art: The ultrasound techs generally don't know the schedule, but we're going after the... Raylan: Wait a minute. What about a leak at the prison? Art: Yeah, warden thinks he runs a tight enough ship that he keeps everything in-house. Raylan: Well, sure, if the schedule got out, prisoner could have confederates set up an ambush. Art: [ Chuckles ] We're pushing back, believe me. So what happened? You didn't suspect a thing? Too distracted by that big, old belly? Raylan: Art, she played the sh1t out of us. [ Insects chirping ] Oh, boy! Now, that's a spark to the right! Jess: I thought I told you to stay away from that window. Jamie: Yeah, and I thought you said he'd be here by now. Jess: Well, he's coming, all right? He's just waiting till the coast is clear. Those marshals are out beating the bushes right now. He wouldn't want to lead them to us. Jamie: We make the news yet? Jess: No, not yet. Jamie: [ Sighs ] [ Indistinct talking on television ] Jess: What's that? Van: It's Clonidine. [ Clears throat ] It helps your body tolerate the anesthesia. Plus, it should relax you. Jamie: How long were you an EMT for? Van: Seven years. School for that? Here is the training program, it's not like med school or anything. Give me a hand here. Jamie: You get a lot of pregnancy calls? Van: All the time. Third most popular, behind drunks and psych patients. Jamie: You ever have one where they couldn't make it to the hospital, had to deliver in the ambulance? Van: Few times. Jamie: [ Sighs ] Did they make it? Survive, I mean? [ Voice breaking ] Mothers and babies? Van: Listen. You don't got nothing to worry about. In a little while, I'll start the propofol. Hour after that, your baby's out. Jess: Yeah, and an hour after that, your baby's daddy is gonna be taking that little girl to her new life. Jamie: Oh, not that fast he don't. In prison, you get to hold her for maybe a couple of hours, and then she's gone. Van: That's got to be rough. Jamie: He can have her when I am good and ready. Jess: Hey, hey, hey. There's no hurry. You take all the time you like. Jamie: Ah, jeez, I got to pee again. Excuse me. [ Sighs ] Tim: A.J., it's real simple. You tell us where your friend Jess Timmons is and where your wife Jamies is and life gets way better for you than if you don't. A.J.: Who the hell is Jess Timmons? Tim: It seems I didn't make it simple enough. Raylan: It's understandable. You want to break out your wife 'cause they won't let you have the baby. A.J.: Baby? Tim: What... You just gonna deny everything? A.J.: Now, hold on. Serious... seriously, Jamie's pregnant? Raylan: Come on, A.J. Do not waste... A.J.: No, no, no, no. Come on. I haven't seen her since she left Marysville. You should know. There's no conjugals in the federal system. Tim: She's 37 weeks. That puts the time of conception around the time of your last conjugal. A.J.: No, we didn't do anything on my last visit. No she said she if was going Federal and couldn't have conjugals there'd be no point of us staying together. Raylan: You didn't do it one last time, just to say goodbye? A.J.: No, I wanted to, but she said that would just make things sadder. Art: Could be a regular visitor that knocked her up. Wouldn't be the first time that a couple went at it in a corner of the regular visitors' room. Raylan: That's bullshit, Art, and you know it. Art: Hell, it could be A.J. himself for all we know. Tim: Chief... Raylan: Oh, my gosh. Art: [ Chuckles ] Hmm. We don't know that it's a guard. Tim: If it is a guard... and I say that to keep you happy... maybe he hired Jess Timmons to make the grab because he knew Timmons from inside. Raylan: We make a list of all the guards from here and Marysville, and we find out which ones were at Northpoint when Timmons was doing his bit. Jess: He's coming. Don't worry. Jamie: I ain't worried. Jess: Well, you were before. Jamie: Yeah, well, that was before I was wasted. This stuff works. You know, I never did anything in the inside. You could get it, but I just figured, you know, the baby. You ever been to California? Jess: Why you ask that? Jamie: I was just thinking about where I'd go once baby's off to her new life. I never been to California. Jess: Yeah, well, it's nice, long as you stay out there near the ocean. You get a little further inland, then you got to worry about all the desert and the wetbacks. Jamie: You know what? I don't care where I go, so long as I know baby's gonna have a good life. Van: We're all set. If you want to step into my office here, we'll get the I.V. started and have you snoring in no time. Jamie: I'm gonna go pee one more time. [ Chuckles ] Oh, my God! My legs feel like rubber. You know, if I wasn't about to go through childbirth, I'd really be enjoying this buzz. You gonna kill her, aren't you? Why you gonna ask me that? [ Insects chirping ] Jamie: [ Exhales sharply ] [ Chain clanging ] [ Grunts ] Jess: Looks like you could use a hand there, honey. Jamie: Oh, my... Jess: Come here! Come here! Jamie: Son of a... Jess: Change of plans. Now that she's tied down, we cut it out. Jamie: Oh, my God, no! Please! Van: I-I haven't started the propofol yet. Jess: Oh, yeah? Well, she gave that up when she went out the window. Jamie: Oh, my God, please! Van: I can't do it without the anesthesia. Jess: If you don't, I will. Van: I mean, you can... you can, Jesse, but she'll probably die of shock. So? If she dies before the baby's out, the baby goes with her. Jess: What about all those stories you hear, huh? About how some batshit-crazy diesel dyke cuts out her best friend's baby and raises it as her own? Van: The news shows never show the stories where the babies die. Now, believe me. I've been on 20 runs like that when I was driving the bus. I got to do the propofol. Jess: How long's that take? Van: I got it. Jamie: [ Crying ] Jess: Shut up. Jamie: [ Crying ] Jess: Shut up. Raylan: Mr. Cosgrove? You remember us from this morning? Glenn: Of course. Yeah, no, we all... We all heard what happened. But I mean, like, what did happen? Raylan: Oh, couple hard cases got tipped off about the appointment. They were just set up for us. Glenn: You know where that tip came from? Tim: We're running it down. Raylan: How you doing? Gayle: I'm good. How are you? Glenn: Honey, these are the two marshals. Remember that thing on the news I was telling you about? Gayle: Yeah. Hi. Hi. Raylan: Glenn, maybe Mrs. Cosgrove wants to go back in the house? Gayle: Why would I go inside? Glenn: Yeah, why... why... why does she need to go inside? Gayle: Why would I need to go inside? Raylan: Are you sure you want her here for this? Gayle: Here for what? Glenn, what's going on? Glenn: I have no idea. Let's... Tim: Mr. Cosgrove. Glenn: Take your hands off me, man. Tim: We know about Jess Timmons. We know he was at Northpoint when you were there. Glenn: Who? Tim: How long do you think it'll be before we find him? Raylan: You think he's gonna stand up for you, just go down with the ship? I see you believe that I know what you're talking about, but I... What about Jamie, you really didn't think she wasn't gonna tell anybody? Tell anybody what? You wanna answer that, or should I? I can't answer that, `cause I have no idea what you're talking about. - Ok. Mrs Cosgrove, the... inmate who escaped today, was eight months pregnant, your husband was the father. Are you crazy? What? They hired a convict that he knew from Northwood, to help her escape. Come on, you think my husband knocked up some inmate... and, and, and helped her escape, and then what, he's gonna leave me, his job... Everything here... No. We're not certain he's gonna leave you. No we don't think he's gonna run off. We think he's gonna have her killed. That's the only way he can be certain that it doesn't come back to him. - What? You assholes are gonna hang out to dry for this. I'm gonna get my union rep. That can't be true, that can't be. Tell them, you tell them that it's not true. Well of course it's not true. Man we have over 20 calls between you and Jess Timmons last week alone. Oh my God. Honey, honey I need you... This isn't... You think I can't tell when you're lying. I am not lying. You could still do yourself a favor here. If there's a chance Jamie's still alive, you can help us get to her. 'Cause otherwise, it's contract murder. Spend the next few years of your life looking at a wall and then get strapped to a gurney and have potassium chloride injected in your arm. Gayle: Glenn, if this is true, you tell them how to find that girl. Glenn: Gayle, please. Gayle: Tell them right now! Tell them!! [ Tires screech ] Thing is, I had 10 grand, and Jess said it wasn't enough for the risk he was taking. He had a solution, though. He'd heard there's people that'd pay 50 grand for a healthy white baby. Raylan: Glenn, we got it. You... you knocked up an inmate, you hired someone to murder her and sell your child. Now shut the hell up, or Tim's gonna hit you in the face. Van: Will you give me those alcohol swabs and the Betadine packets? You should have told me the plan was to kill her. I figured if I told you, you probably wouldn't have come along. I wouldn't have. See? There you go. It's just, taking the baby is one thing... but... Look at it this way. If you weren't here, she'd still be dying, and I'd still be cutting that baby out myself. Probably killing it in the process. See, that's just like throwing money in the trash. See, this way, you get that baby out in one piece, you get paid. Don't seem near as wasteful now, does it? It's like when the plains Indians used to kill all those buffalo. They made sure they used every single part of that thing. It was a sign of respect for the life they were taking. Van: Will you grab me that gauze from over there? I want to be ready in case I hit a gusher. Jess: Thataboy. I ain't seeing the gauze over here. Van: Look to your left, on the counter. Jess: Telling you, if it's over here, I don't see... Hey! Van: Aah! Jamie: [ Whimpering ] [ Knock on door ] Raylan: U.S. marshals! Drop your weapon! Tim: It's all clear. Jess: [ Breathing heavily ] Raylan: Behind the table, drop your weapon. Jess: Oh, hey, there, fellas. Raylan: Show me your hands. Wasn't really expecting to see you boys again. Show me your hands. Or what? Huh, I got a gun on her belly, finger on the trigger. You shoot me, you're gonna be spending the rest of the night cleaning up baby guts all over that fireplace there. Jess. Yeah. Jess you ever hear of a spot snipers call, The Apricot? It's where the brain stem meets the spine. Hit a fellow there. He ain't gonna pull no trigger. It's just... Lights out. Oh, are you telling me you're that good? Me? [ Shakes head ] Really This how it's... Show me your hands. Come on, I got you. Come on, It's ok. It's ok. [ Dog barking in distance ] [ Insects chirping ] Ava: How did that happen? Boyd: Honestly, Ava, I don't have any idea. Ava: Go take a seat. Go on. Boyd: [ Moans ] Ava: Okay, take this. Go on. Clean yourself up. We'll pretend like this never happened. It happens again, though, and I will put you back in whatever gutter you just pulled yourself out of. Boyd: Yeah. Gayle: Deputy Givens. Raylan: Mrs. Cosgrove. Gayle: I was hoping I'd find you. Raylan: Yeah, I can't discuss your husband's case. Gayle: I know. Glenn's not evil. Or I guess maybe he is. You're married to someone for 11 years, you think you know them, what they're capable of. We tried for years to start a family. It turns out that I'm... I'm... I'm not able. So... Raylan: Yeah. Let me... let me see if I can find someone for you to talk to. Gayle: No, no, no. I'm... I'm just... What's the girl's name? Raylan: Again, I... I can't. Oh, do you know what she's uh, planning to do with the baby? Oh, I don't think she has much say in it. Gayle: Do you think maybe... I mean, I don't know how this works, but... I was kind of hoping that maybe, um... Raylan: I don't know how that works, either... But maybe I could find out for you. [ Insects chirping ] [ Footsteps approaching ] Raylan: Gary. That's not a real safe way to approach an armed man. Gary: [ Chuckling ] Oh, I guess you're right! Raylan: Uh-huh. Something I can do for you? Gary: Oh, no, no, no. No, I mean, you've already done more for me than I could ever hope to repay, which is why I felt like I needed to tell you face-to-face. I'm gonna get her back. Now, I know you think I'm no competition 'cause I can't outshoot you or outfight you or [chuckling] probably outscrew you. But if there is one thing I do know, Raylan, it's selling. I can get a guy to buy a house worse than the one he's in, cost him twice as much, and have him swear it was his idea. Raylan: [ Chuckles ] Yeah, you thought a lot about this moment, huh? You say everything you meant to say? Gary: Yeah, pretty much. She left you for me once, Raylan. Winona: Who were you talking to? Raylan: Oh, it was nobody. What? Winona: Nothing. How was your day? Raylan: Long. Winona: You want to tell me about it? Raylan: You remember... you remember I always liked the name Jess for a boy? I'm over that. I told you. Easy... I was never a big fan of your list. Winona: What's wrong with my list? Raylan: Cody? Winona: Yeah. Raylan: Well, that's the moment I knew our marriage was doomed. Winona: You're really not gonna tell me about your day, are you? Raylan: You don't want to know. Winona: Reason I asked is 'cause I do want to know. Raylan: Okay. I saw a man threaten to shoot a pregnant woman through the belly, just before a bullet went through his brain. So I guess you could say it wasn't good. Winona: I can handle that, Raylan. I can't handle silence. Raylan: [ Sighs ] All right. Winona: So, who were you talking to outside? Raylan: That was your husband. Winona: [ Laughs ]

Raylan and Tim go to transfer a pregnant fugitive to give birth, but end up in the middle of a small-time human trafficking operation. Elsewhere, Boyd tries to adjust to civilian life with a familiar profession, and the Bennetts get a new addition to their clan.

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Jake (Voice Over): Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess who lived in a kingdom far, far away. And in that kingdom, there also lived a boy, and the princess loved that boy. (Peyton is driving when her car breaks down.) Peyton: Unbelievable. (Peyton uses her cell phone to call for help.) Jake (Voice Over): And so the two decided to marry. INT. JAKE'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM (Flashback) Jake: Did you just say you wanted to get married? Peyton: Yeah, crazy right. Jake: It's a little nuts, yeah. Peyton: Okay, but maybe not. I mean it worked for Nathan and Haley. Look how happy they are. INT. HALEY AND NATHAN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM Haley: Brooke, let me in. Brooke: No, it's not ready. Go away. Haley: It's my apartment. It's my wedding dress, for that matter. Brooke: No, it will be, but for now it is my wedding dress and it is not ready. Haley: Does it look like my dream dress. Vera Wang meets Snow White. Brooke: It's better Haley: Yay. Brooke: This is so exciting. (Haley sits down on a chair and Brooke pulls out a tape recorder which Haley can't see.) Brooke: So, how did Nathan ask you to marry him the first time? Haley: Um... well, it was raining and we had just had that argument. The one that I had told you about. Brooke: Oh, the one about the internet p0rn. Haley: Yes, thank you. Anyway, we made up in the rain. And we were laying in bed the next day, and he just looked over at me and said: you're my family now and he said that he could love me forever. Then, he asked me to marry him. Brooke: That's so sweet. But, the dress still isn't ready, so you need to find something else to do with yourself. Chop, chop. Haley: You're such a grouch when Lucas isn't around. How long until he gets back? Brooke: A couple of hours, just in time for your rehearsal party. Which like your dress, is a total surprise. Haley: I hate surprises. Brooke: Not these you won't, I promise. Get out of here. INT. CLUB TRIC (Rachel enters Club Tric and finds Deb.) Rachel: Hi. Deb: Oh, hi. Rachel: You're Deb right? Deb: Yeah. Rachel: I was wondering if you tell me how I could get in touch with Cooper. I'm... Deb: No, no I'm sorry. He's out of town. Can I give him a message? Rachel: Just tell him, his girlfriend stopped by. Deb: Rachel. Look, um, I know you've called the house. And, I'm sure you've tried his cell, but I think you know that this is not going to work out. Rachel: Well, maybe I'll just wait and here that from him. Deb: You're not going to, okay. And I know that must hurt, but you're in high school and he's nearly thirty. What's next, he takes you to the prom. If you thought this could work, you wouldn't have lied in the first place. Rachel: Did he tell you that he slept with me after he knew how old I was? Deb: Yes, he did. He also told me, it was a terrible mistake. One he regrets. Rachel: Just tell him I stopped by. (Rachel leaves Club Tric) INT. HALEY AND NATHAN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM (Haley is trying on the wedding dress that Brooke has made for her. Brooke has her blindfolded.) Haley: Ok, this is weird. I mean usually, it's the groom who can't see the dress before the wedding, not the bride. Brooke: Ok, quit whining. Are you ready? Haley: Yes, please. Brooke: Alright, Haley James Scott. I now pronounce you fabulous. (Brooke takes the blindfold off of Haley.) Brooke: Do you love it? (From the look on Haley's face, you can tell that she hates the dress.) Brooke: You're speechless. I knew you would be. Hold on, there's one more thing. (Brooke puts a halo on her head) Brooke: Do you get it? Halo. Haley: Wow. Wow. Brooke this is um... Brooke: You're welcome. Thank you so much for asking me to be your Maid of Honor. I love weddings. (Haley starts to cry.) Jake (Voice Over): Now in this kingdom, all was not well. INT. JAKE'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM (Flashback) Peyton: I love you Jake, I do. And you know that I love Jenny, so maybe that's enough. Jake: I think only in fairy tales that's enough, Peyton. Peyton: You know what, someone told me once that there's nothing wrong with fairy tales. Everybody lives happily ever after. Jake: Ok, listen you can't just fly into Savannah and then get in my head all over again. Telling me you want to stay and then ask me to marry you. Peyton: Well, why not? Jake: Because. I might just say yes. (Jake leans in and passionately kisses Peyton.) Jake (Voice Over): So the princess and the boy were set to be wed. And because she was a princess, the call went out for a beautiful gown. INT. HALEY AND NATHAN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM (Haley stands in front of a mirror in the dress that Brooke made for her. Nathan enters the house.) Nathan: Whoa, sorry. I'm not supposed to see you in your wedding dress, right? Haley: It's okay. This is not my wedding dress. Nathan: It's not? Haley: No, it supposed to be but there is not way I am getting married in this frock. I asked Brooke to make me something simple and elegant and instead she makes me something so...Brooke! Nathan: Well, maybe you should wear it anyway. Well, Brooke is your maid of honor and you did ask her to make the dress, right? Haley: So? Nathan: Well, so, she'll be crushed if you didn't wear it. Anyway, it doesn't matter what you wear. My girl is going to look beautiful. (Nathan kisses Haley on the cheek.) Haley: Thank you. Nathan: Except maybe in this thing. Haley: Shut up! (Nathan's cell phone rings. He answers it.) Nathan: Hello. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, I know where it is. Alright, I'll be there. Bye. (Nathan ends his phone call and continues taking to Haley.) Nathan: Peyton's car broke down. You wanna come with me. Haley: Um, yeah, actually just let me go change. You can drop me off at the caf . I'm gonna need money for a new wedding dress. OUT. ON THE ROAD (Lucas and Karen driving in a car) Karen: What's on your mind kiddo? Lucas: Brooke. You know, it's nice to get away but I'm glad we're gonna be home soon. Karen: Did you like any of the colleges we looked at? Lucas: Yeah. But you know, I figure I'll just go to somewhere we can afford. I mean, thanks to my heart condition I won't be getting a basketball scholarship. Karen: You know, this trip wasn't just about finding you a school. It was also about finding a way back. Lucas: To what? Karen: To a place where it's okay to dream again. You know, you walked away from basketball so that you could live a long life. But what are you gonna do with that life? What's your next dream Lucas? OUT. ON THE SIDE ON THE ROAD (Peyton on the side of the road by her car. A tow truck pulls up and parks in front of her car. Marcus gets out of the tow truck.) Peyton: Hey. Sorry about this. Marcus: No problem. What it do, overheat? (Marcus opens the hood and takes a look at the engine.) Peyton: Yeah, I'm not really sure why though. Marcus: How's your leg doing? Peyton: Oh um, it's okay. It's kind of weird, everyone knowing about it. Marcus: I was in the tutor center that day. Peyton: Oh. Well, I guess you know my friend Haley then? Marcus: Not really, but I think that was kind of the point. You got a hole in your radiator. I'm gonna have to tow you in but I can drop you off somewhere, if you want. Peyton: No, it's okay. I called someone. (Nathan pulls up behind Peyton's car. He gets out and walks over to Peyton and Marcus.) Nathan: Hey. You okay? (Peyton nods her head.) Marcus: How's it going Nate? Nathan: Hey, Marcus. Peyton: So, I guess you guys have met. Nathan: Yeah. How ya been? Marcus: Could be better. You mind giving me a hand. Nathan: Sure. Peyton: I'm gonna go clear my head. Nathan: Okay. (Peyton walks off.) Nathan: So, uh I haven't seen you around much. Marcus: That's cuz you don't hang out with any cool people. Nah, the truth is the day in the tutor center kind of screwed me up. Nathan: Yeah, I think it kind of screwed all of us up man. Marcus: Yeah. I guess but, it just made it worse. Sometimes I wish I could talk to the kid in the room. Try to help him. Nathan: Edwards, you mean. Marcus: And me too. The me I was then. Nathan: So, you're working a part time job now, huh? Marcus: No, full time. Nathan: You dropped out of school? Marcus: Yeah, it was hard walking past that room. So, I just quit going. Thought it might help but, I guess we're all gonna have that day with us forever. (Peyton walks back to Nathan.) Nathan: You know, I love you Sawyer but, isn't this the kind of thing you call Lucas for. Peyton: He's out of town. Nathan: What about Brooke? INT. JAKE'S HOUSE - BEDROOM (Flashback) (Peyton is lying in the bed and sits up to talk to Jake.) Peyton: Jake, you okay? Jake: You know you talk in your sleep. Peyton: Uh...yeah. I'm sorry. Jake: I've been sitting awake wrestling with the feeling that you need to go back to Tree Hill. You shouldn't stay here. And you can't. Peyton: Why? What happened? Jake: You talk in your sleep, Peyton. Peyton: Okay, so, so, what? I don't understand. So, I mumble a few words in my sleep. I mean, what'd I say. Was it really that bad? Did I say I wanted to kill you or something? Jake: No. You said I love you. Peyton: Okay, well normally, that's a good thing. Jake: You said I love you, Lucas. Jake (Voice Over): Now as the wedding day approached, the Princess worried about the evil King. Because, although he had not always been this way his heart had grown dark and his kingdom had grown to fear and despise him. OUT. KAREN'S CAFE (Dan stands outside of Karen's Caf . Haley goes outside to talk to him.) Haley: Okay, Mr. Scott. You've got to go home, cuz you've been out here all morning and you're kind of creeping some of the customers out. Deb's not working today, okay. Dan: How's Nathan doing? I mean since he's lost Keith. Haley: He's a mess. Especially, since he lost his father long before that. (Haley starts to walk off.) Dan: Haley. I here the two of you plan on renewing your vows. I'm happy for you. You're the best thing that's happened in his life in a long time. Would you please just tell him I send my best? I understand he wants to keep his distance with this restraining order. I respect that. Haley: Mr. Scott, I'm not buying it. This...you. Dan: I guess I can respect that too. I'm glad that you're protective over him, Haley. I suppose if you were just his potential, it doesn't matter who got him there. You or me. It's just that he gets that's important. Have a nice wedding day. INT. RACHEL'S HOUSE - BEDROOM (Rachel is calling Cooper's cell phone.) Cooper's Answering Machine: Hey, this is Cooper. You know the drill. Rachel: Hey Cooper, I was just thinking about you. Thought I'd try you again. Give me a call, okay. It's kind of starting to feel like you're trying to avoid me. Okay, bye. (Rachel ends the phone call and throws it against the wall.) INT. HALEY AND NATHAN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM (Haley walks into her apartment and Brooke is still working on her wedding dress.) Brooke: Hey buddy, okay, I know I said I was done with the dress but I came up with a fantastic idea. It involves feathers but, tasteful feathers so don't freak out. Haley: Okay, um... I need to talk to you about the dress. Brooke: Okay. Haley: I know that you've worked really hard on this and I just love you for it. I just don't know if it's me. Brooke: You don't like it. Haley: No, it's not that I don't like it. It's just a little... maybe we could just take it down a little, you know. Brooke: I worked really hard on this. Haley: I know you did, like I said. Brooke: And you hate it. Haley: I don't hate it. I just want something simple. Brooke: This is simple. Haley: Brooke, you're putting feathers on it. (Brooke stands up.) Brooke: Fine. You know what, why don't you wear that stupid hat and poncho of yours for all I care. Haley: Brooke, there's no need to get nasty. Brooke: No. You can insult my fashion sense but I can't insult yours. Haley: Brooke, all I'm saying is I want something closer to the picture. Brooke: Right, closer to the picture. Okay, you if you want to go shopping and buy a new wedding dress, why don't you go to slut barn. I'm sure they're having a sale. Haley: Oh, well you would know! Wouldn't you! (Brooke storms out of the house and slams the door.) INT. PEYTON'S HOUSE - BEDROOM (Peyton walks into her bedroom and lies down on her bed. She looks at a picture she drew that is hanging on her wall.) INT. JAKE'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM (Flashback) Jake: You told Lucas that you loved him? Peyton: It was the school shooting, ok? I was bleeding and I thought I was going to die. I didn't even mean it like that! Jake, I love you. Jake: I know that you do. Peyton: Well, then why are you making such a big deal about this? Jake: When you decided that you weren't going to go back to Tree Hill do you remember what you told me? Peyton: Yeah. Jake: You said that your father is not around, that Haley has Nathan and that Brooke has Lucas. Peyton: Ok, you know what? Haley and Brooke are my best friends and they spend a lot of time with their boyfriends. That's all meant by that! Jake: Let me ask you a question: what if Brooke didn't have Lucas? Jake (Voice Over): In the days before the wedding the king surprised the Princess and gave his blessing to the marriage. But, the Princess was still torn for even though she had found her true love it meant she would have to faithful handmaiden behind forever. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. PEYTON'S HOUSE - BEDROOM (Peyton is leaning against the wall in her room when Brooke comes in. Brooke sits on Peyton's bed with Haley's wedding dress.) Brooke: Hi, only friend that I can trust. (Brooke notices Peyton is crying.) Brooke: Whoa, what's wrong? Did you break up with Pete? Peyton: I didn't go to see Pete. When I left this weekend, I went to go see Jake. Brooke: Oh my god! But that's a good thing, right? INT. JAKE'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM (Flashback) Jake: You asked me to marry you, after Jenny called you mama. After, you lost your mom again. And your dad's not around. Peyton: You know what, don't. Jake: Your alone Peyton, I get it. It makes all the sense in the world that you would want a family. Peyton: No, I want this family. Jake: Do you? Peyton: Okay, you know what...just don't. I don't understand this, okay. Cuz it looks like you're trying really, really hard to push me away. So if you're not into me, just say so. Jake: No, that is not it. I love you Peyton, okay? I don't wanna believe that there's another guy in your heart, but I think that there is. Peyton: I think that you're afraid. Jake: Yeah, you know what...I am afraid. It hurt like hell the last time I lost you and I...I don't wanna do that again. Peyton: Then, don't. Jake: Look... marriages fall apart all the time, because people, they get caught up with the romance and they're not honest with themselves. Well I have to be twice as honest. Once for me, once for Jenny. INT. HALEY AND NATHAN'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM (Haley is punching a punching bag when Nathan walks in the house.) Nathan: Whoa! Anyone I know? Haley: Mostly me. I talked to Brooke today. Nathan: Oh, boy. (Haley stops punching the punching bag.) Haley: I have never seen someone go from so thrilled to so hurt, to really mean, so quickly. And that was just me. Nathan: I'm sorry, Hales. Well hey, you'll never guess who I ran into today. Marcus. Haley: Marcus from the tutor center, Marcus. Nathan: Yeah, you know he dropped out of school. Haley: I ran into Dan today. Who do you thinks a bigger ass? Nathan: Actually, he seemed like he was really affected by the whole thing. Like, maybe he was trying to change because of it. Haley: Actually, I was gonna say the same thing about Dan. Believe it or not. Nathan: Not. But, uh... I was thinking about inviting him to the wedding. Haley: Dan! Nathan: No, Marcus. Haley: Oh. Nathan: I mean I'd love to include my dad but, he'd just screw it up. There's still hope for Marcus. (Haley nods her head.) Nathan: Oh, and just a reminder, you gotta pick out our first dance song. Haley: I know, I have it narrowed down to three. Nathan: Oh cool. I'll tell you what, you give me those three songs. I'll surprise you on the day. Haley: Ok, sounds fun. Nathan: Alright. Now what are you gonna do about Brooke? I mean besides pretending that she's a speed bag and whaling on her. Haley: I am going to apologize and hope she forgives me. Nathan: That's my girl. OUT. ON THE ROAD (Lucas and Karen driving in a car) Lucas: Literature. You asked me about my future. If I could go to any college it would be to UNC to study literature. Karen: My son, the next great American author. Lucas: I don't know about that ma. Karen: And, UNC would be your dream school? Lucas: Yea, sure, I mean if we had the money. Karen: Okay, listen to me. Before we left, the lawyer who drew up the adoption papers called. He told me that ever since you were born Keith has been saving a fund for you, for college. I didn't know about it myself. He dreamed your dream with you Lucas. And, if this is something that you really want then you have the grades, then you can have it. Because Keith left it for you. Lucas: God, I miss him so much. Karen: He's always with you, always. You make him proud. Lucas: I will. OUT. IN THE STREET (Peyton and Brooke walking down the street) Brooke: I totally lost my mind and went off on Haley. I called her a slut. Peyton: Wow. You know what, I'm proud of you B. Davis. Helping Haley find another dress is... Brooke: Oh no, we're not shopping for her. We're shopping because I feel miserable and this is therapy. Peyton: Brooke. Brooke: Oh, see... all better. Be right back. (Brooke walks into a clothing store.) INT. CLOTHING STORE - DRESSING ROOMS (Rachel is trying on a pair of jeans. Her cell phone is ringing. When she checks it, she sees it is Mouth calling. She is upset that it is not Cooper calling her back. She throws her phone down and walks over to the mirror. She punches the glass and cuts her arm. Brooke walks out of one of the dressing rooms and sees what Rachel did.) Brooke: Rachel... Rachel: He said he liked me. I need him to like me. JAKE (Voice Over): On the eve of the Princess's wedding, a lavish feast was arranged. Friends and royalty were summoned from lands far away to join the happy couple for a night of laughter and magic. INT. CLUB TRIC - ON THE STAGE (Peyton is helping set things up on stage and Brooke shows up.) Peyton: Well, well, as usual Brooke Davis shows up when all the work is done. Brooke: Sorry, I had some... things I had to deal with. Speaking of, you never told me how everything ended up with Jake. (Haley comes on the stage to join the conversation.) Peyton: Uh, just not what I wanted it to be. Um... I think I'm gonna go hide the knives. (Peyton walks away so Brooke and Haley can sort things out.) Brooke: Hey. (Brooke and Haley say I'm sorry at the same time. Then they hug.) Brooke: I'm sorry. I was being selfish and I wasn't listening to you and I... Haley: I was so wrapped up in what I wanted that dress to be that I freaked out a little bit. I would love to wear your dress. Brooke: That's really nice but I think you might wanna save the love until after dinner tonight. You know all those questions I've been asking you about the early days of Naley. Yeah... you didn't think I really wanted to know all that stuff, did ya? (Brooke shows Haley the tape recorder.) Haley: Yes. Brooke: No. I was just gathering material. I'll see you tonight. (Brooke walks off the stage.) INT. CLUB TRIC - ON THE STAGE (People are all seated at the tables in Club Tric. Peyton and Brooke are doing some last minute setting up.) Peyton: It's really filling up out there. Brooke: Really... I was worried. Apparently, there's a flu going around and everybody's dropping like flies. Peyton: Lucas should be back any second, are you excited? Brooke: Yeah, I am. But I don't know, it's kinda strange. I realized, since he's been gone that I'm not as dependent on him as I thought. You know, I have my clothing line and I have my friends and I have me. And I'm not such bad company. Who knew? (Bevin comes on the stage.) Bevin: Peyton, Naley's here. (Peyton takes a deep breath.) Peyton: Brooke, you're the best company. Believe that. (Peyton walks off stage.) INT. CLUB TRIC (Peyton leads Nathan and Haley to their table while everyone else is clapping for them. Backstage Haley is rehearsing what she is planning to say. Lucas walks up on stage and surprises her.) Lucas: Hey pretty girl. Brooke: Hi, boyfriend. Oh, I missed you. Lucas: I missed you. (Lucas kisses her on the cheek.) Lucas: This place looks great. You did good Brooke. Brooke: Yeah, I know I did. Peyton and some other people helped but, it was mostly me. (He laughs. Bevin and Fergie walk on stage.) Bevin: Small problem... Skills is sick and he's supposed to be in that first scene with me. Fergie said he'd stand in for him but I don't think anybody's gonna buy him as Nathan. Cuz, ya know, his hair. (Brooke laughs.) Brooke: Um... you know what, I think it's gonna be fine. Just give him a set of lines. Lucas, here's yours. It's showtime. (Everyone exits the stage but Brooke walks out from behind the curtain. She stands in the middle holding a microphone.) Brooke: Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away a girl and a boy fell in love. And then another girl, supposedly a friend, secretly taped how they fell in love and decided to use it against them. So tonight, I give you an authentic and very unauthorized re-enactment of Nathan and Haley, a fairy tale. (Everyone claps and a sign on the stage says The First Date. The curtains open and Bevin (playing Haley) is sitting on a bench, at a table. Haley notices that she is wearing her poncho. Everyone claps. Fergie (playing Nathan) walks up and sits on the bench on the other side of Bevin.) Bevin (as Haley): So you're Nathan Scott? Mr. big shot basketball player. I don't trust you and I'm totally not into you. And I'm just tutoring you so that you'll leave my best friend Lucas alone. Fergie (as Nathan): Damn baby, that is one ugly ass poncho. (Everyone claps.) Fergie (as Nathan): Yo, check it out. (Fergie pulls a bracelet out of a cracker jack box and puts it on Bevin's wrist.) Fergie (as Nathan): Don't say I never gave you no bling. (Fergie moves towards Bevin to give her a kiss and the curtains close. Another sign is on the stage that says. The Sleep Over. The curtains open and Lucas (playing Nathan) is sitting on a bed. Brooke (playing Haley) is standing next to him and wearing a robe.) Brooke (as Haley): Listen Nathan, I know you collapsed on the basketball court tonight. So I was thinking, maybe you wanted to stay the night and get a little freaky. (Brooke opens her robe to reveal the lingerie she is wearing.) Brooke (as Haley): How about this? Lucas (as Nathan): Okay. (Lucas stands and hugs Brooke. Everyone is clapping and the curtains close. Haley protests and says that's not really what happened. Another is on stage and it says. The Last Hurdle. The curtains open to find Deb (playing Haley) sitting on the floor by a coffee table, crying. A guy playing Nathan walks onto the stage.) Guy (as Nathan): What's wrong Haley? Deb (as Haley): I just wanna go home to my own room. I'm not a wife... I'm not even a senior. (Crying) Guy (as Nathan): I'll always be there for you Mrs. Scott. I mean, um... Haley. Always and forever. (The guy hugs Deb and goes in for a kiss as the curtains close. Everyone claps. Brooke runs out on stage.) Brooke: It seems that there's a bit of a bug going around. We've lost a few performers. So I was wondering if in this next scene, Nathan wanted to play himself? (At first he says no but decides to get on stage for the next scene. Another sign is on the stage and it says. The First Kiss. The curtains open and Nathan is throwing rocks at this fake window. Gigi (playing Haley) walks up to him.) Gigi (as Haley): You're gonna wake my parents. That's their room. Nathan (as himself): Uh, look... Haley I... (Gigi grabs him and pulls him into a kiss. Brooke looks in shock and says that she skipped ahead. She stops kissing him.) Gigi (as Haley): Gosh... I think I messed up. We better start over. (Nathan laughs, along with everyone else. The curtains close and another sign says. The Make Up. The curtains open and Lucas (playing Nathan) is standing in the rain. Well, it's supposed to look like it. Brooke (playing Haley) walks up to him, looking angry.) Lucas (as Nathan): I decided to go for a run and I ended up here. Boy is it raining out. Brooke (as Haley): I'm mad at you, Nathan Scott. Lucas (as Nathan): Haley, please listen to me. I know I'm a p0rn freak. (Everyone laughs.) Brooke (as Haley): Nathan, it's okay. I like my p0rn too. And I Haley myself from time to time, but I still need to know that you love me. Lucas (as Nathan): Someday, I'm gonna marry you Haley James. Someday. (Lucas and Brooke kiss and then the curtains close. Peyton stands in the distance watching. She looks upset.) INT. JAKE'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM (Peyton and Jake are sitting on the couch.) Jake: Peyton, I'm sorry. I don't want you to go, but you're father told you to follow your heart. And he's right...as much as it kills me to say it. I think you need to follow it home. Peyton: What if you're wrong? What if I go back and my heart just aches for you like it has for months now? Jake: Well, then I'll still be here. And if it's meant to be...we'll be together. Peyton: Someday. Jake (Voice Over): As the night wore on, a calm fell upon the land and all was right in the world. If only for a moment... INT. CLUB TRIC (An intermission is going on right now. Everyone is walking around and talking to different people. Haley runs up to Brooke.) Haley: I would strangle you, if this wasn't so awesome. Thank you and thanks for being my Maid of Honor. It really means a lot to me. Brooke: You're welcome. Thank you for being cool about the dress. Haley: Oh, yeah... no problem. Listen, Rachel's here, can you just try not to kill each other. Okay? Brooke: Yeah, I actually invited her. Haley: What? Brooke: Long story. (Haley walks off and Brooke walks over to Rachel.) Brooke: How's the hand? Rachel: Kinda gross, actually. Thanks for covering for me at the store. Brooke: Sure... mirror's just break all the time. I didn't even tell Peyton. As long as you're okay. (Brooke starts to walk off.) Rachel: Brooke... I broke the glass because I was mad at myself for lying to Cooper. I mean I know I just met him but, I really liked him. And now, he doesn't wanna see me anymore. Brooke: That sucks. I'm sorry. Rachel: Why? I mean, you and me, why are you sorry? Brooke: Because I know what it feels like to have your heart broken. And I wouldn't wish that on anybody. Rachel: Not even your worst enemy? Brooke: Not even her. (They smile and Brooke walks away. Nathan is walking around and spots Marcus. He walks up to him.) Nathan: Hey. You showed up, man. Marcus: Yeah. What the hell dude? If this is your history, I can't figure out how you got married the first time. (Nathan laughs. Haley walks up to them.) Haley: Hey... I thought you snuck off with Gigi. (Nathan laughs again.) Nathan: Hales, you remember Marcus, right? Haley: Yes, I do. It's nice to see you. Marcus: Congratulations. Haley: Thanks. Um, so Nathan says you dropped out of school. Marcus: Yeah, well I kind of had a lot of stuff to do. And besides, my grades pretty much sucked anyway. Haley: Oh. (Haley nods her head.) Haley: Yeah, I think we all had a lot to deal with after that day. (There is silence.) Haley: I can make you an offer, actually. If you wanna come back to school, I'll tutor you. Nathan: Yeah. She's a great tutor, man. She makes it all easy. Marcus: I'll think about it. Okay? Haley: Ok. Thanks for coming. (Marcus walks off and they tell each other goodbye.) Nathan: That was really nice of you, Haley. Haley: You know, even though two people lost their lives that day... maybe in some strange way, other people found theirs. INT. CLUB TRIC - ON THE STAGE (Peyton is setting up for the next scene. Brooke walks in.) Brooke: Okay P. Sawyer, last scene of the night. Are we good? Peyton: Actually, no. Mouth is sick. Brooke: What? But we need him for this scene. (Lucas is right behind her.) Brooke: I mean Luke, you could do it. (Brooke gives a big smile and Lucas and Peyton don't look happy.) Peyton: Maybe we should cut the night short. Brooke: No we can't, this is the big finale. Please Lucas. (Brooke holds out a wig for him.) Lucas: Okay, but no wig. Brooke: Deal. Those are your lines. Um, I can buy you guys a couple of minutes. Just ad lib if you have trouble. (Brooke hurries off stage. Lucas is laughing.) Peyton: You do know what scene this is, right? Lucas: No, what? (Lucas is looking through the script and realizes what the scene is about.) Lucas: Oh. INT. CLUB TRIC - ON THE STAGE (Brooke gets on stage and the curtains are closed. Everyone claps.) Brooke: Before we end the night, I just wanted to say a few words about Nathan and Haley. I told them once, not long ago, to be happy. Because some day they would all make us believe in true love... and they do. In a few days, they are gonna renew that love for all of us to see. But in a way, we see it everyday. The only difference is that Haley will look fabulous in her wedding dress by Clothes Over Bros. Which is kind of odd seeing that she's marrying a bro. That's not the point. Sorry. One rainy day, Nathan Scott proposed to Haley James and the rest is a fairy tale. This is the last scene of the night. (Brooke walks off stage and everyone claps. The curtains open to find Lucas and Peyton in a bed. Lucas is playing Nathan and Peyton is playing Haley. It sounds like it is raining.) Lucas (as Nathan): Golly gee. That was some good loving, Haley. Peyton (as Haley): Oh, yes... yes it was. Lucas (as Nathan): So uh, what are you thinking? Peyton (as Haley): Oh, I was just thinking how I never... (Peyton looks like she forgot the words. Brooke tries to help. Brooke whispers to Peyton.) Brooke: Never wanna go home again. Peyton (as Haley): I was just thinking how I never wanna go home again. Lucas (as Nathan): I love you, you know that? INT. JAKE'S HOUSE - BABY'S ROOM (Flashback) (Peyton is holding Jenny in her arms. Jake is watching.) Jake: Where's your head at Peyton? Peyton: Well, uh... when I went to bed tonight, I was living a fairytale. When I woke up, it's a nightmare. Jake: It's still a fairytale, don't give up on that. Look inside your heart and ask yourself, is Lucas still there? And if not, I'll be here. INT. CLUB TRIC - ON THE STAGE (The scene is still going on. Everyone is waiting in silence for Peyton to say something.) Lucas (as Nathan): Hey. I love you. You know that? INT. LUCAS'S HOUSE - BEDROOM (Flashback) (Peyton and Lucas are lying down in bed.) Peyton: Everything's gonna be alright, right? (Flashbacks start of Lucas and Peyton's past together. You can hear Lucas talk in the background.) Lucas: Yeah. Yeah it is. INT. CLUB TRIC - ON THE STAGE (Again, the scene is still going on.) Peyton (as Haley): I love you too. (The stare and everyone else claps.) Jake (Voice Over): Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away. There lived a beautiful princess who loved a boy. (The curtains closed and everyone stands up, clapping. Haley gives Nathan a hug and a kiss. The show is over. Brooke sees Rachel and walks up to her.) Brooke: Rachel... Are you gonna be okay? Rachel: Yeah. I'll be fine. It's his loss, right? (Rachel walks off. Marcus walks up to Nathan and Haley.) Marcus: So, thanks for the invite tonight and the offer. You know it's not that easy to change who you are. But it helps when people let you try. (Marcus walks off.) Haley: See ya. Nathan: See ya, man. Haley: You know, there's something I'd really like to do. Do you mind if I meet you back here? Nathan: No. (They kiss and Haley walks away.) INT. CLUB TRIC - THE PARKING LOT (Rachel is gets in her car and looks at her cell phone. She is looking at Cooper's phone number and tries to call him. She gets the answering machine and she hangs up the phone. She starts crying.) Jake (Voice Over): But the people have their struggles, all people do. And they had grown to fear and despise the king, whose heart had turned dark. INT DAN'S HOUSE - FRONT PORCH (Dan opens the door to find Haley on his front porch.) Dan: Haley. Haley: Hi. So the last time I stood in the doorway giving someone the benefit of the doubt, when my instincts were screaming at me not to, it was for Nathan. And this time, well...it's still for Nathan. We would like you to come to the wedding. Dan: Thank you. Haley: But God help you if you don't change. (Haley leaves.) INT. CLUB TRIC (Lucas is telling people goodbye and then walks over to his mom.) Karen: Happy to be back. Lucas: Yeah, it's good to be home. (Lucas watches Brooke as she is laughing with some friends.) JAKE (Voice Over): But in the end, the love between the princess and the boy was undeniable and true. INT. NATHAN AND HALEY'S APARTMENT (Nathan and Haley walk into their house and they kiss.) Jake (Voice Over): And over time, that love would see them through anything. (Nathan and Haley lie on their bed.) Haley: Where is our bed spread? (They look over and in the corner of their bedroom, is a wedding dress, made out of their bed spread. Brooke made it.) Jake (Voice Over): Magical things happen to them. Things they couldn't explain. Much like love itself. And like most fairytales, the princess and the boy lived happily ever after. INT. JAKE'S HOUSE (Jake was reading a story to Jenny.) Jake: At least I hope they do. INT. CLUB TRIC - ON THE STAGE (Peyton is sitting down, thinking. Brooke sees her and walks over to her.) Brooke: Way to go with the tears, P. Sawyer. You brought down the house. Peyton: Brooke, I think I still have feelings for Lucas. Brooke: You mean you care for him as a friend? Peyton: No. I mean more than that.

Haley argues with Brooke about her wedding dress. Brooke plans an engagement party for Nathan and Haley. Karen and Lucas get back in town. Peyton asks Jake to married her but Jake overhears Peyton mumble she loves Lucas in her sleep. Peyton admits to Brooke that she still has feelings for Lucas. Haley invites Dan to the wedding. This episode is named after a song by Led Zeppelin and another by Gary Moore which was covered by Nightwish .

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[TRIQUETRA] [Scenes from 8X01: Still Charmed and Kicking] [INT. MANOR - ATTIC -- DAY] (Phoebe reads a spell from the Book of Shadows as everyone watches.) PHOEBE: (reciting) I call upon the ancient powers to mask us now and in future hours. Hide us well and thoroughly, But not from those we call family." FLASH TO: [TITLE LOGO: CHARMED] NARRATOR (HOLLY MARIE COMBS): (v.o.) Previously on "Charmed" .. [INT. MANOR - ATTIC -- DAY] (Piper, Phoebe, Paige and Leo stand in front of the mirror looking at their 'new' reflections.) PAIGE: Oh, my goodness. Is that me? PIPER: Is it the you you envisioned? PIPER: You know, this just might work. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MANOR - KITCHEN -- DAY] (Victor and Leo talk.) VICTOR BENNETT: Being magical is part of who they are. You may have been able to change your identities, but you didn't change that. [Scene from 8X04: Desperate Housewitches] [INT. MANOR - CONSERVATORY -- DAY] (Piper talks with Paige) PIPER: (wistfully) No. I guess I just miss the old me a little. TRIQUETRA FLASH TO: [Scene from 8X01: Still Charmed and Kicking] [INT. THE BAY MIRROR - ELEVATOR - DAY] (Phoebe introduces herself to Dex Lawson.) PHOEBE: Dex Lawson. Nice to meet you, Dex. DEX LAWSON: You, too. (They shake hands and Phoebe has a premonition.) (Quick premonition of: [EXT. MANOR - FRONT PORCH - DAY] Phoebe is in a wedding dress; Dex is in a tux. And they're kissing.) (Dex carries Phoebe over the threshold and into the house.) (End of premonition. Resume to present.) TRIQUETRA FLASH TO: [Scene from 8X04: Desperate Housewitches] [INT. MANOR - DINING ROOM - DAY] (Phoebe eagerly stands over the various research books on the table.) PHOEBE: He's the one, according to every magical calculation there is, it all times out perfectly. You know, my vision of us getting married, when I'm supposed to get pregnant. All of it. TRIQUETRA FLASH TO: [Scene from 8X02: Malice in Wonderland] [INT. SEWERS - DAY] (Billie talks with the Charmed Ones.) BILLIE JENKINS: I can help you guys fight the demons so you don't have to do it all the time. PIPER: What's the catch? BILLIE JENKINS: Teach me everything you know about witchcraft. [Scene from 8X03: Run, Piper, Run] [INT. MANOR - ATTIC - DAY] BILLIE JENKINS: (eagerly) So when can we go vanquish demons? [SCENE_BREAK] END OF PREVIOUSLY ON [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MANOR - ATTIC -- DAY] (Paige puts the map of the area down on the table. The map has three red sticker dots on it.) PAIGE: Okay. Three dead innocents, three weeks, all near memorial hospital. BILLIE JENKINS: Yes, and one witch that's gonna vanquish a whole lot of -- PAIGE: Nothing. BILLIE JENKINS: What? PAIGE: Nothing. Look, all we need you to do is surveillance, especially because it's your first solo outing. BILLIE JENKINS: (groans) Oh, come on! PAIGE: How can you vanquish a demon until you know what you're up against? BILLIE JENKINS: I'll bring extra potions. PAIGE: No. You are going to go, you are going to I.D. the demon, and then you are gonna come up with a plan after that. BILLIE JENKINS: You know, I just have one question. Are you guys really this overly protective or are you just afraid of letting go? PAIGE: What? BILLIE JENKINS: There's got to be a reason you keep holding me back. Or maybe you just secretly wanna be out there doing it yourself. PAIGE: That's ridiculous. First of all, I don't want to be fighting demons anymore let alone teaching you how to fight demons anymore. BILLIE JENKINS: Great. Then loosen the leash a little and let me show you what I can do. PAIGE: 'Cause I'd really rather you not die. BILLIE JENKINS: Okay. PAIGE: Go get my car, drive to the hospital, find out who's attacking the innocents, okay? We'll go from there. BILLIE JENKINS: Okay. You got it. (Billie heads for the attic door. Paige turns around and stops her.) PAIGE: Hey. Billie, empty those pockets. BILLIE JENKINS: What? PAIGE: Empty 'em, missy. (Billie takes out two potions vials and places them on the table. She again heads for the door. Paige again stops her.) PAIGE: Back ones, too. (Billie sighs and removes a third potions vial and brass knuckles. She puts them on the side table.) BILLIE JENKINS: You guys are so not fun. (Billie leaves. Paige shakes her head.) FLASH CUTS TO: [EXT. VARIOUS SAN FRANCISCO CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [EXT. STREET INTERSECTION / ALLEY -- DAY] (Antosis desperately shouts to anyone on the street who will help him.) ANTOSIS: Somebody please help me! My wife is trapped. I can't get -- (A man rushes up to him.) MAN: Hey, buddy, what's wrong? ANTOSIS: I crashed my car. My wife, she's pregnant. She's pinned, I can't get her out - MAN: Where is she? ANTOSIS: (points) She's down there. Please, please help me! (The man takes off running in the direction Antosis points. Antosis follows behind. He looks in the direction the man went and concentrates. He lifts up his hands and a swarm of red bee-like creatures appear. He motions and the creatures zoom off after the man.) (Antosis shimmers out.) [EXT. ALLEYWAY - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (The helpful man runs into an alleyway. He runs in and doesn't see anything. He stops.) MAN: Hey, where did you say she is? (He turns around and sees the red bee-like creatures appear and swarm straight for him. He yells and raises his arms to protect himself.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. STREET NEAR ALLEYWAY - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (Billie pulls up to the curb in front of the alleyway. She parks the car and gets out.) MAN: (shouts) (o.s.) Help! [EXT. ALLEYWAY - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (In the alleyway, the man is being attacked and cut by the swarming red creatures.) MAN: Ah! (He screams.) [EXT. STREET NEAR ALLEYWAY - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (Out on the street, Billie hears him scream. She looks around and heads for the alley.) [EXT. ALLEYWAY - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (In the alley, the creatures continue their attach on him. Billie runs in and sees the man fall to his knees. She waves her hands and one-by-one, the creatures explode.) (The man is on the ground, his arms covered with cuts.) (The swarming creatures move over to Billie. She continues to kick and hit the creatures. Finally, she reaches out and grabs one of the flying creatures. It's a tiny red Imp with a spear. The Imp squirms, trying to get out of her grip.) BILLIE JENKINS: Eew! Gross! (A second Imp flies by and cuts Billie on her upper arm. She lets the first Imp go and grabs her arm.) BILLIE JENKINS: Ow! (She looks at the cut on her arm.) (The Imps fly off and leave the alley. Billie runs over to the Man and helps him up. ) BILLIE JENKINS: Ok, come on. We need to get you to a hospital. Come on. (He gets to his feet and she helps him out of the alley.) [EXT. STREET NEAR ALLEYWAY - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (Outside the alley and sitting in his car, Agent Murphy watches the alley entrance through a pair of binoculars.) (He sees Billie helping the man out of the alley. He puts the binoculars down and watches her.) FADE TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS (COMMERCIAL SET) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. HALLIWELL MANOR (STOCK) - NIGHT] PIPER: (v.o.) Oh, come on. It's only for a few hours tomorrow, ... [INT. MANOR - PIPER'S BEDROOM - NIGHT] (Piper is putting on her make-up and talking with Paige.) PIPER: ... and you yourself said you haven't been meeting any cute guys lately. (Paige walks into the room and starts pacing around Piper.) PAIGE: Okay, there are not gonna be any cute guys there because they're all desperate, and that is why they are doing speed dating. (She stops, puts her hands on her hips and glares at Piper.) PIPER: That's not necessarily true. PAIGE: Oh, yeah, then how come you're so nervous about having it at the club? PIPER: Hey, it wasn't my idea. It was Dad's idea, as was bingo night. I'm just trying to do a little damage control. PAIGE: Well, you cancelled that, so cancel this. PIPER: I can't. It's too late. Which is why I need your help. Come on. I need to up the babe quotient a little. PAIGE: So you're pimping me out. PIPER: What? Do you wanna be homeless? Because that's what's gonna happen if we lose our only source of income. PAIGE: Thanks, Missy Guilt Giver. PIPER: I will resort to whatever I have to. Besides, you might actually meet someone you like. PAIGE: (scoffs) Yeah. (Leo walks in carrying Baby Chris.) LEO: Baby Tylenol? PIPER: Top shelf. How is he feeling? LEO: Ah, the fever's going down. I'm gonna put him down early. PIPER: How's Wyatt? (Leo heads into the nursery.) LEO: Oh, you know ... doing better. You know, I think he should stay at your dad's another day or so, just to be on the safe side. (Leo comes out of the nursery and stops next to Piper in front of the mirror. Piper's new look is taller than Leo's new look.) LEO: I think I like your other alias better. PIPER: Well, too bad. Get used to it. (Leo walks away. He passes Phoebe coming in on his way out of the room.) PHOEBE: Hey, can I borrow a suitcase? PIPER: Closet. PAIGE: So is Julie gonna be helping with the speed dating? (Phoebe checks herself in the mirror as Piper sits on the bed to put her shoes on.) PHOEBE: Nope. I'm ovulating. PIPER: What? PHOEBE: You know, eggs, fertility, baby making? PAIGE: Yeah, I got it. I know what ovulating is, thank you. PHOEBE: Well, I'm supposed to get pregnant by Dex, right? What better place to try than Napa? (Phoebe walks into Piper's closet to get the suitcase.) PAIGE: Uh, I thought your premonition was about you getting married to Dex. PHOEBE: Well, one step at a time. At least, that's what my star chart keeps saying. I gotta get to work. (Phoebe emerges from the closet, the suitcase in tow behind her.) PAIGE: Work? What happened to love? PHOEBE: No time for that. Destiny calls. (Phoebe leaves. Piper and Paige sigh.) PAIGE: Is that what we've been reduced to? Loveless s*x ... pimping? PIPER: Yes. (Billie comes down the attic stairs. Piper sees her and jumps up to get her attention.) PIPER: Billie! BILLIE JENKINS: Yeah? PIPER: Just the girl I was looking for. Are you by any chance single? BILLIE JENKINS: Why? PAIGE: Forget it, Piper. She's not even old enough to drink. (to Billie) So, how did the surveillance go? BILLIE JENKINS: The surveillance? It was fine. It was great. It was totally fine. PAIGE: Okay. Did you I.D. the demon? BILLIE JENKINS: Um ... you know, actually, I-- (The doorbell rings.) BILLIE JENKINS: I'll get that. (Billie leaves to get the door. Piper and Paige sense something fishy is happening.) (On her way through the hallway, Billie pauses.) BILLIE JENKINS: Ow. (She checks the bandage on her upper arm, tucks her sleeve back down over it and heads out to answer the door.) (Unknown to her, Phoebe is watching, her bedroom door partially open.) PHOEBE: Uh ... Paige? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MANOR - FRONT DOOR - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (Billie opens the door and finds Agent Murphy standing outside.) AGENT MURPHY: Hi. BILLIE JENKINS: Hi. Can I help you? AGENT MURPHY: Yeah, I think you can. Agent Murphy, Homeland Security. (He shows her his ID.) We need to talk. FLASH TO: [INT. MAGIC SCHOOL - STUDY -- NIGHT] (The closet door opens. Antosis goes through the closet of clothes. Behind him, the Imp Master talks) IMP MASTER: Please, it wasn't their fault, Antosis. The witch surprised them. They -- they weren't prepared. ANTOSIS: Except ... you told me that they could handle surprises. That's one of the reasons why I brought you and your little pests here in the first place. Killing Good Samaritans, placing my mark across entire neighborhoods ... and of course, the ever-present risk of the unexpected. For example, now. (He selects a jacket.) IMP MASTER: Now? ANTOSIS: Do I kill you? Or do I give you and your toothy friends another shot at helping me get that territory? IMP MASTER: Well, of course, if I have a choice, I would rather -- ANTOSIS: You don't. (Antosis puts the jacket on.) IMP MASTER: We've helped you get this far, haven't we? Replacing us now might, uh, set you back, open up the territory to other demons. ANTOSIS: What about your witch? IMP MASTER: She won't surprise us again. She can't. We'll be waiting for her next time. FLASH TO: [INT. MANOR - LIVING ROOM/ FOYER -- NIGHT] (Agent Murphy talks with Billie.) AGENT MURPHY: I've been following you, Billie ... for a while now. BILLIE JENKINS: You have? Why? AGENT MURPHY: I think you know why. BILLIE JENKINS: If I knew why, I wouldn't ask why, would I? AGENT MURPHY: Cute. BILLIE JENKINS: Thanks. AGENT MURPHY: Wasn't a compliment. Look, I'm just trying to solve a mystery here, Billie, in the process, you know, maybe save a few innocent lives, but I'm gonna need your help to do that. I'm gonna need you to come clean about ... what it is that brought you here and what you know about the Halliwell sisters. BILLIE JENKINS: Who? (He gives her his card.) AGENT MURPHY: Call anytime. Call. Soon. (He turns and leaves, closing the door behind him.) (Billie turns, and before she can take a couple steps, Piper, Phoebe and Paige are coming down the stairs.) [INT. MANOR - MAIN HALL/SITTING ROOM - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] PIPER: Who was that? BILLIE JENKINS: Oh, that? That guy? Um ... just a guy. From Homeland Security. PHOEBE: What? PIPER: What did he say? What did he want? BILLIE JENKINS: Well, he said that ... he's been following me. PAIGE: Why? BILLIE JENKINS: I don't know. He probably thinks I know something about you guys. PHOEBE: Great. Just great. PAIGE: Did he follow you to the hospital? PIPER: What hospital? PAIGE: You didn't use your powers, did you? BILLIE JENKINS: Well, I had no choice. The imps were attacking an innocent. PIPER: Imps? BILLIE JENKINS: According to the book, imps are these gremlin-like creatures, but way nastier. PIPER: I know what imps are. PHOEBE: If he saw her use magic, we're screwed. BILLIE JENKINS: Why? He can't prove you're alive. You don't even look like you. PHOEBE: Well, he must have known you were connected to us somehow. Otherwise, he wouldn't be following you, right? You shouldn't have sent her out. PAIGE: She was just supposed to go and ID the demon. BILLIE JENKINS: That's all that I did! Look, imps have an imp master, so if we attack the imp master, we can - PIPER: No, Billie. They're guns for hire. They could be working for any demon. BILLIE JENKINS: That's what I'm saying. We get the Imp Master so he can tell us exactly where they are. PHOEBE: (interrupts) No. We're not gonna do anything. BILLIE JENKINS: But I think -- PIPER: (interrupts) No buts. She's right. If they're watching you, that means they're watching us, and we need to be careful. PAIGE: So what are we supposed to do? PIPER: We just act normally and live our lives and hopefully he'll go away, sooner or later. We'll go to P-3 tomorrow just like we planned and -- PAIGE: (groans) Great! PIPER: (to Phoebe) And you'll go to Napa with Dex. PHOEBE: Well, I can't go now. PIPER: Why? He's gonna be here in a few minutes. PHOEBE: Well, let's just say I'm not in the mood anymore. This ruse isn't really working very well, is it? PIPER: Well, maybe we need to give it a little more time. BILLIE JENKINS: You guys, I'm so sorry. PHOEBE: It's okay, sweetie. It's not your fault. (Phoebe turns and leaves.) PAIGE: So much for happily ever after. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MANOR - ATTIC -- NIGHT] (Billie is going through the Book of Shadows, flipping the pages, looking for a spell.) BILLIE JENKINS: Oh, come on, come on, come on! There's got to be some way to fix this. (She stops on the page for a Sleep Spell.) BILLIE JENKINS: I could put Murphy to sleep. No, no. That won't work. (She flips past a "Dragon Warlock" page and stops on "To Make a Lover's Dream Come True" spell.) BILLIE JENKINS: "To make a lover's dream come true." Hmm. Well, maybe at least this one will help Phoebe out. (The doorbell rings.) (Billie picks up the Book of Shadows and carries it over to the potions table.) INTERCUT WITH: [INT. MANOR - FOYER -- NIGHT] (Phoebe opens the front door and finds Dex Lawson on the doorstep.) PHOEBE: Dex! DEX LAWSON: Hey. (He sees her less than enthusiastic response at their excursion.) Uh ... what's wrong? PHOEBE: Uh ... I'm so sorry. [INT. MANOR - ATTIC - NIGHT] (Billie starts the spell.) BILLIE JENKINS: (reading) Hear these words, hear my rhyme, bless these two in this time, bring them both into the fold, help them now cross love's threshold. (Billie throws the ingredient into the cauldron where it explodes, a cloud of white smoke rising out of it.) [INT. MANOR - FOYER -- NIGHT] PHOEBE: Please believe me, this has nothing to do with you. It's just -- DEX LAWSON: Just what? PHOEBE: Well ... (Phoebe steps over the threshold and out onto the porch. A golden glow rises up from the ground and dissolves into them.) (Phoebe looks at Dex. Dex looks at Phoebe. Suddenly, Phoebe desperately grabs Dex and they kiss each other passionately.) PHOEBE: (eagerly) What are we waiting for? DEX LAWSON: I don't know. Let's go. (He takes her hand and they leave.) [SCENE_BREAK] (COMMERCIAL SET) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. SAN FRANCISCO CITY SKYLINE (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. P-3 -- DAY] (Piper hits the bell several times. She turns and talks to the DJ.) PIPER: Hi. Listen, top forty only. Really, one power ballad, and you'll never DJ in this state again. Seriously. (Piper and Paige walk around P-3 putting the final touches on the tables. She calls over one of the workers.) PIPER: Hi. You. Come here, come here, come here. Table 8. Water spots on the glass. Please fix it, fix it, fix it. (The worker heads over to table 8. Piper yells out.) Jeff, did you do the final sound check? JEFF: (o.s.) Yes. I sure did. (Paige and Piper head over to the bar.) PAIGE: Okay, you need to relax just a little bit. PIPER: I'll have plenty of time to relax when this thing tanks. PAIGE: Why are you worried? This is not gonna tank. PIPER: Because it's what I do best, okay? Dave, where are the mints? We need mints on the table if we're gonna match make here. (Someone hands Dave the mints.) Thank you. People, help me out. (to Paige) Okay, so listen, be nice and try not to blow anyone off until at least the second round. PAIGE: I'm here, aren't I? PIPER: Okay. (to the man at the door) All right, let 'em in. (The daters enter the club.) (A particularly geeky looking young man comes down the stairs. He looks at Paige and Piper and smiles. Paige and Piper both smile back at him. The young man's smile gets bigger as he goes to find a seat.) (Piper has a huge grin on her face as she looks at Paige.) PAIGE: (under her breath) You so owe me. (Piper giggles.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MANOR - PORCH -- DAY] (Phoebe and Dex are kissing on the front porch. Phoebe is in a white wedding gown while Dex is wearing a tux.) DEX LAWSON: I love you, Mrs. Lawson. PHOEBE: Oh, say it again. DEX LAWSON: Mrs. Lawson. (They kiss.) PHOEBE: I love it. (Phoebe picks up the key and unlocks the front door.) DEX LAWSON: Uh -- wait. I have to carry my bride across the threshold, don't I? PHOEBE: (eagerly) Ooh! (Dex picks Phoebe up in his arms and he carries her over the threshold.) [INT. MANOR - FOYER - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (As soon as Dex's foot touches the floor inside the house and over the threshold, a golden magical glow rises up from the ground and dissolves over them.) (Phoebe and Dex look around, puzzled as to what's going on. Dex drops Phoebe and she falls to the floor.) PHOEBE: Wha -- (He looks around, then realizes that he's dropped her.) DEX LAWSON: Oh, what happened? (He helps her up.) PHOEBE: Well, you dropped me. That's what happened! DEX LAWSON: Look, I'm sorry. PHOEBE: You should be sorry. (Phoebe stops, looking at what Dex is wearing.) DEX LAWSON: Wh-I - (Dex looks at Phoebe's wedding gown. Phoebe looks down at her gown.) DEX LAWSON: Why was I just carrying you? PHOEBE: What are you wearing? What am I wearing? (She looks at the ring on her finger and gasps.) PHOEBE: Oh! DEX LAWSON: Did we just do what I think we just did? (Phoebe hyperventilates.) PHOEBE: You ... and just -- I need a - (Phoebe leaves to find out what's going on.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MANOR - ATTIC - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (Billie is in the attic taking notes from the Book of Shadows.) (Phoebe rungs into the attic.) PHOEBE: What did you do to me? (Billie's eyes widen when she sees Phoebe in a wedding dress.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. P-3 -- DAY] (Dave monitors the stop watch. He stops the watch, then hits the bell. The male daters stand and move tables.) (The place seems to be running smoothly. There are many different types of people in the club and even more walk in. Piper stands near the bar watching everyone.) (Date 1 sits at Paige's table.) DATE 1: Tell me, was your dad a thief? PAIGE: No. Why? DATE 1: 'Cause he stole the stars and put 'em in your eyes. (The bell dings.) (Date 2 sits across from Paige.) DATE 2: Yo, if I could rearrange the letter of the alphabet, you and I ... would be together. Uhh! (Paige shakes her head.) (The bell dings.) (The men get up and change tables.) (Paige looks tired. Whit settles down at Paige's table.) WHIT: You look like you need a break. PAIGE: Yeah, I'm just a ... little overwhelmed. WHIT: You wanna sit this session out? (Paige turns and looks at Whit. He's actually nice-looking. She smiles.) PAIGE: No! No, actually, it'd be ... perfectly great if you stayed. WHIT: Okay. Well, my name's Whit. PAIGE: Hello, Whit. (They shake hands.) (Meanwhile, at the bar, Piper is working at her laptop. Nick takes the seat next to her.) NICK: Hey. I'm Nick. PIPER: Hi. I'm married. NICK: Yeah, I know. I read your bio, Jamie. I work for 415 magazine, and I came here to do a piece on failing clubs, but apparently, I'm in the wrong place. (He chuckles.) PIPER: Oh, yeah? NICK: Yeah, yeah. It seems you made speed dating cool. And that's news. So I'd like to figure out how you did it. What do you say I interview you around six o'clock tonight? PIPER: Uh ... six? Uh -- yeah. Sure. NICK: See you then. (He smiles and leaves. Piper's phone rings. She answers it.) PIPER: (to phone) Hello? (shouts) Billie did what?! (Whit has Paige's attention with the story he's telling her.) WHIT: So I said, "How much for the tool?" And I been working at Homes for Humanity ever since. PAIGE: (chuckles) I think, uh ... you might just be too good to be true. WHIT: Ditto. (Piper leans forward.) PIPER: Hello. Sorry to interrupt. Um ... I just got a call, and, uh, we need to go home. PAIGE: Yeah, well, now's not really a great time. PIPER: Mm-hmm. But it's a family emergency. (Paige chuckles.) PAIGE: (to Whit) Excuse me. (Paige stands up and they step aside.) Okay. I thought we were done with those. PIPER: Uh, well, apparently not. PAIGE: Fine. You take this one. I'll take the next. PIPER: Listen, Jo - PAIGE: Look, I did you a favor by letting you drag me here. Now you do me a favor by letting me stay. PIPER: Fine. Be that way. PAIGE: Fine. I will. (Paige leaves Piper and heads back to her table.) PAIGE: Ah! Sorry about that. Where were we? (They smile at each other.) (Piper leaves.) (The man sitting at the bar turns around to look back at them. It's Agent Murphy.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MANOR - FOYER -- DAY] (Dex paces the foyer waiting for Phoebe. In the background, we can hear Phoebe's muffled voice from upstairs.) (The front door opens and Piper walks in.) PIPER: Hi! DEX LAWSON: Hi. PIPER: Dex, right? DEX LAWSON: Right. PIPER: I'm Julie. Jamie. Julie's cousin. DEX LAWSON: Ah. PIPER: Uh ... where's the lucky bride? (Dex turns and looks upstairs. We can still hear Phoebe's muffled voice.) PIPER: Excuse me. (Piper heads upstairs.) (Just then, Leo walks out of the kitchen carrying Baby Chris.) LEO: Who are you? DEX LAWSON: Um ... [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MANOR - ATTIC - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Phoebe and Billie are still arguing.) BILLIE JENKINS: Um ... I was just trying to help! PHOEBE: How is this helping? BILLIE JENKINS: Well, I didn't mean for you to get married! PHOEBE: Well, you know what? I did. And I cannot believe that you used magic when we specifically told you not to! BILLIE JENKINS: I thought you just meant demon magic, not innocent magic. PHOEBE: Oh, really? And this is innocent? BILLIE JENKINS: Well ... you look fabulous! PHOEBE: You know what? Don't try to butter me up with a compliment, Missy! (Piper walks in.) PIPER: Are you out of your mind? What did you do now? BILLIE JENKINS: Do I have to start from the beginning again? PIPER: I can't believe you did this, with Agent Murphy watching our every move! PHOEBE: Skip down. I already went through that with her. BILLIE JENKINS: I still don't know what I did was so bad. PHOEBE: This -- this is what's bad! PIPER: Whoa - -hey! Wow, that's huge! BILLIE JENKINS: Look, you guys, I am so sorry, all right? I know I screwed up with the imps and -- which, actually, I really don't think that I did -- and then I felt bad, like I ruined your lives. I just wanted to fix it. That's it! PIPER: By getting them married? BILLIE JENKINS: Well, no, no. Not exactly. But she was supposed to get married anyway, right? PHOEBE: Yeah, but normally, not magically. BILLIE JENKINS: How do you know? How do you know it wasn't supposed to happen exactly like this? She foresaw it, right? She knew it was gonna happen. PIPER: That is completely besides the point! BILLIE JENKINS: I don't think so. PIPER: Well, I do, and I'm older, so what I think counts more. (Billie groans with frustration.) BILLIE JENKINS: Uhh! PHOEBE: (less angry) Uh ... maybe she's right. I mean, maybe this is how it was supposed to happen. How else would you explain Dex and I getting married so quickly? PIPER: I'm confused. Are we mad at her or not? (Billie shakes her head hopefully.) PHOEBE: We're not. BILLIE JENKINS: Oh! Yes! Good. Now can I go back to looking for the Imp Demon? PHOEBE: No! PIPER: No! BILLIE JENKINS: No? What about the next innocent? What we have learned about this specific demon is if we don't get him, he's gonna keep going after these people! PHOEBE: Billie, if we get exposed, we may never be able to help an innocent again. Do you understand that? BILLIE JENKINS: Yeah, but don't - PIPER: (interrupts) Billie, she's right. You gotta pick your battles, and right now, this is not one of them. (Billie sighs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. STREET -- DAY] (A woman rushes out of a building. She runs up to Antosis.) NURSE: I'm a nurse. Where is he? My son. ANTOSIS: He's at the bottom of the fire escape. He's not moving! NURSE: Call 911! (She turns and runs into the alleyway. Antosis again summons and sends the Imps after her. The red swarm goes into the alley after the nurse.) (We hear her scream.) NURSE: Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah-- (The Imps return to Antosis. (From the shadows, the Imp Master steps out from the side of the building. He grabs one Imp and absorbs them all into his body.) (Antosis steps up to him.) ANTOSIS: Where's your witch? IMP MASTER: Maybe we scared her off last time. ANTOSIS: If she came once, she'll be back. Witches can't help but help other people. It's their fatal flaw. [SCENE_BREAK] (COMMERCIAL SET) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. HALLIWELL MANOR (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. MANOR - SECOND FLOOR HALLWAY/STAIRS -- DAY] (Phoebe exits her bedroom, changed out of her wedding dress. Piper is on her heels.) PIPER: What are you gonna say to him? PHOEBE: I don't know. I'm just gonna wing it. PIPER: Wing it? He's married. Don't you think he's gonna want to know why? PHOEBE: Well, he doesn't have to know it was magic. PIPER: Still, what is he gonna think? PHOEBE: Maybe that he got really drunk? (They head downstairs.) I mean, the point is, it happened. So that's what I have to focus him on -- for his sake and mine. PIPER: Wait, Phoebe, hold it. Hang on a second. Hang on. You're really gonna go through with this thing? PHOEBE: I don't have a choice. PIPER: Yeah, but Phoebe -- PHOEBE: I know that this is not my Cinderella wedding, okay? But I also know that everything happens for a reason. So I have to just go with it. PIPER: Till death do you part? (Before she can answer, she hears Leo and Dex from the next room.) LEO and DEX: Whoo! Yes! (They head into the Conservatory to find them.) [INT. MANOR - CONSERVATORY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Leo and Dex are watching the football game on television.) DEX: Man! LEO: Oh, man! LEO: Oh, man did you see that move? DEX LAWSON: Can you believe he held on to that thing? (Phoebe and Piper enter the room.) PIPER: Hi. How's it going? LEO: It's good. We're watching the game. Did you know Dex here used to play? PHOEBE: No. I didn't know that. DEX LAWSON: Just a little college ball. Nothing, really. (Leo nudges him with his elbow, impressed nevertheless.) LEO: Oh, come on. Nothing, really. PIPER: Uh, honey, I gotta get back to the club. LEO: Okay. Well, I'll see you tonight. (Leo turns back to the television.) PIPER: Don't you wanna ... walk me to the door? (He looks at her and sees her motioning for him to go with her. He gets the hint.) LEO: Oh, uh, y-sure. Um. It was nice meeting you. Congratulations. DEX LAWSON: Thanks. (Leo and Piper leave.) (Phoebe picks up the remote and turns the television set off.) [INT. MANOR - FOYER - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Piper and Leo head for the door.) PIPER: (whispers) Aren't you even remotely surprised that they're married? LEO: Not at all. She had that premonition. (Piper picks up her bag.) PIPER: Yeah, okay. Forget it. Listen, just try and give them a little space, okay? I have to go. I've got an interview. LEO: An interview? Really, about what? PIPER: About P-3 and me ... or, you know, the me they think I am. LEO: It's still the same you. At least on the inside. You should be excited. PIPER: I am. Bye. (She kisses her and Chris.) Bye, baby. (Piper turns and leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MANOR - CONSERVATORY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Phoebe talks with Dex.) DEX LAWSON: You changed. PHOEBE: Those things aren't very comfortable. DEX LAWSON: Do you even remember how you got it? PHOEBE: No. DEX LAWSON: Yeah, me neither. Look, Julie, I don't know what's going on here, but ... if you want to go down to city hall and get this fixed ... PHOEBE: To get it annulled? DEX LAWSON: Well, yeah. PHOEBE: Is that what you want? DEX LAWSON: Look, I don't know what I want. It's just really weird. One minute we're off to Napa, and the next minute we're like going ... PHOEBE: Yeah. I know. I mean, it's weird for me, too. DEX LAWSON: Yeah? PHOEBE: Yeah. DEX LAWSON: Somehow you seem like ... okay with it. I mean, the fact that we just got married. PHOEBE: No. I mean, I'm not ok with it. (Phoebe sits down.) It's just ... things happened to me in my life, and I've learned to accept them, you know? I've had to. DEX LAWSON: This sort of thing happens to you all the time? PHOEBE: Well, no. Not exactly this, but ... you know, other things have. And it always turns out okay. And I guess I've just learned to trust that. (Dex sits down next to her.) DEX LAWSON: Even though we have no idea how we got married. PHOEBE: Well, I kinda feel like that part's irrelevant. I mean, really, whether we remember it or not, it happened. And I believe that everything happens for a reason. So, uh ... I don't know. Maybe we should just see this through. It's not like we don't care about each other. DEX LAWSON: True. PHOEBE: And I guess if things don't work out, we can...just have it annulled in the future, right? DEX LAWSON: True. It's crazy, you know. PHOEBE: Yeah. I know. (She puts her head on his shoulder.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. P-3 (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. P-3 - OFFICE -- NIGHT] (The door opens. Paige and Whit, in a lip-lock, stumble into the room. Whit reaches behind him and slams the door shut. Paige giggles as Whit reaches out and clears a part of the desk behind her. He lifts Paige up and settles her on the desk.) (They start kissing again.) PAIGE: Okay, wait. I think maybe we should ... slow this down a little. (They take a breath.) WHIT: Whew. You're right. I'm sorry. PAIGE: No, I'm -- I'm sorry. WHIT: Whew. Uh ... why don't you tell me a little more about yourself? PAIGE: Well, I, uh ... screw it. (She grabs him and starts kissing him desperately again. Whit starts taking his shirt off.) WHIT: God, you're beautiful, Jo. (Hearing a name not her own, stops Paige cold.) WHIT: What's the matter? (She looks at her reflection in the mirror behind them and sees a face not her own.) PAIGE: I can't do this. WHIT: Okay. Okay. Um ... was it something I said? PAIGE: No. Absolutely not. It's not you. I'm sorry. (Paige rushes out of the office and leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. HALLIWELL MANOR (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. MANOR - SECOND FLOOR HALLWAY / PHOEBE'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT] (Billie knocks insistently on Phoebe's bedroom door.) BILLIE JENKINS: Phoebe! Are you in there? Phoebe, Phoebe. (The door opens a crack wide enough for Phoebe to stick her head out of. She looks disheveled.) PHOEBE: What? BILLIE JENKINS: I think I found out who the Imp Master is working for. PHOEBE: Shh! (Phoebe glances behind her into the bedroom, then steps out into the hallway. She closes the door.) BILLIE JENKINS: No, no, you don't understand. I cross-referenced all the demons that go after Good Samaritans and then the ones that typically recruit others -- came up with a high level demon. PHOEBE: Billie -- BILLIE JENKINS: Then I narrowed it down to one demon. His name is Antosis, but unfortunately we need the power of three to vanquish him. So I have a plan. PHOEBE: Forget it. BILLIE JENKINS: What do you mean, forget it? PHOEBE: I mean forget it. We are not doing this. BILLIE JENKINS: But that was before I found the demon! PHOEBE: A Power of Three demon. BILLIE JENKINS: So? PHOEBE: So, we can't take that risk! BILLIE JENKINS: But what about the greater good and everything you taught me, what you guys were about? PHOEBE: Okay, Billie, you have to understand this is hard for us also. We're not doing this, and we'll talk more about it in the morning, okay? BILLIE JENKINS: No. It's not okay. (Billie turns and walks away. The bedroom door opens and Dex appears, his shirt unbuttoned.) DEX LAWSON: Is everything all right? PHOEBE: No. It's not all right. (He reaches out and rubs her arm trying to comfort her.) [SCENE_BREAK] (COMMERCIAL SET) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MANOR - LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT] (Phoebe sits on the floor, staring at the fire in the fireplace and thinks. Off screen, the front door opens and closes. Paige walks in.) PAIGE: Hey. PHOEBE: Hey. PAIGE: What are you doing? PHOEBE: Oh, just sitting here thinking. PAIGE: Yeah? Mind if I join you? PHOEBE: No, of course not. (Phoebe takes out a pillow and places it next to her. She pats it invitingly.) Pull up a pillow. (Paige sits down and sighs heavily.) PHOEBE: What's the matter? PAIGE: Oh, it's just been a very interesting day. PHOEBE: Tell me about it. PAIGE: What? I take it Dex didn't like not being able to go away? PHOEBE: Boy, are you behind in the news. (Phoebe shows her the diamond ring on her finger.) PAIGE: Oh, my gosh. He asked you to marry him? PHOEBE: No. We're actually already married. PAIGE: Huh? PHOEBE: It's not what you think. Billie cast a spell. PAIGE: She did what? PHOEBE: I know, I know, and we already yelled at her. Besides ... I actually don't think she did anything wrong. In fact, I think she's the only one doing anything right around here. PAIGE: Uh, okay. If you're trying to confuse me, you're doing a bang-up job. PHOEBE: You ever wonder that ... maybe we made a mistake faking our own death? PAIGE: Funny you should ask. I met this guy today and ... I kinda could have ... liked him. PHOEBE: That's great, Paige. PAIGE: No, actually, it's not. How am I ever supposed to be with someone when they're not with the real me? PHOEBE: (nods) Yeah. I keep asking myself the same exact question. Only, it's not just about guys. It's everything. I mean, you know, who we used to be, the whole greater good thing. PAIGE: Right. PHOEBE: And I'm just worried that the more we ignore it, the more we're just not gonna be able to. PAIGE: What are we gonna do? PHOEBE: Thanks to Billie, we're gonna have to come up with a plan pretty soon. PAIGE: I -- I'm sorry. What do you mean, 'thanks to Billie'? PHOEBE: She made me feel pretty guilty about not helping her with this demon. And she was right. PAIGE: Well, where is she? PHOEBE: I don't know. She stormed outta here. Maybe she went to her dorm. PAIGE: No. She's probably after the demon. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. P-3 - OFFICE - NIGHT] (Agent Murphy tosses several photos of the recent victims on Piper's desk in front of her. The victims are cut-up, beaten and dead.) PIPER: Uh ... I'd really like to help you, Agent ... AGENT MURPHY: Murphy. PIPER: Murphy. But I have an interview. AGENT MURPHY: You know, if I showed these photos to most people, more than likely they'd be shocked or repulsed. But not you. PIPER: I internalize a lot. AGENT MURPHY: Or you're more used to seeing these kind of victims than you're letting on. PIPER: Agent Murphy, I just run a night club. That's all. AGENT MURPHY: Just like Piper used to, right? You know, I've been watching you ever since she and her sisters disappeared. PIPER: Don't you mean since they 'died'? AGENT MURPHY: You tell me. Look ... I'm not the hard-ass Agent Keyes was, all right? He left me behind because he didn't believe the Halliwells were really dead. Even though we both think you know exactly what really happened, the difference is, I don't wanna bust you or them. I just want help. (Piper glances down at the photos, the topmost photo of the nurse.) I need it. For the past month, people have been showing up dead for reasons no one can really explain, but I think you and your cousins know exactly who or what is responsible. PIPER: By "what" you mean ... AGENT MURPHY: You know exactly what I mean. Things beyond normal. Powerful things like yourself. Of course, like everything else, there are good things and bad things. But if you're not doing anything to stop this, then ... as far as I'm concerned, you're on the wrong side. And I don't know how you can live with yourselves. (His words hit harder than she shows.) (Piper's cell phone rings.) PIPER: I'm sorry, but I really need to get this. (She hands the photos back to Agent Murphy.) AGENT MURPHY: Billie has my number. (Agent Murphy takes the photos and leaves.) (Piper glances down at the text message: [SCENE_BREAK] CALL HOME. BILLIE IN TROUBLE [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. ALLEY/STREET IN FRONT PIZZA JOINT -- NIGHT] (Billie is helps a man out of the alley. He's limping as she hails a taxi.) BILLIE JENKINS: Taxi! Taxi. (A taxi pulls up. She puts him in the back seat.) BILLIE JENKINS: Here. Get him to a hospital fast, okay? Hurry up. Go. (The taxi leaves. Billie sighs and heads back into the alley.) (Off to the side, the Imp Master steps out from the shadows. Antosis shimmers in behind him. They both watch as Billie runs back into the alley.) ANTOSIS: Like a moth to a flame. (Antosis and the Imp Master both take off after her.) [SCENE_BREAK] (COMMERCIAL SET) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MANOR - ATTIC -- NIGHT] (The crystal swirls around over the map. Paige is in the attic scrying the old- fashioned way for Billie. Piper walks in.) PIPER: Any sign of Billie? PAIGE: Well, just that she's in the area. PIPER: What do you mean, she's 'in the area'? PAIGE: She's moving around so much, I'm having a hard time getting a lock on her. You know, we should upgrade to her GPS scrying system. (Phoebe is standing over the open Book of Shadows. She has a pad and pen in her hand.) PHOEBE: Well, if she survives this, we'll ask her how. At least we know what we're up against. She left the book open to the demon. Problem is, only the Power of Three spell is going to vanquish him. PIPER: I don't understand why she would go up against a demon she can't vanquish. PAIGE: Well, I'll make sure to ask her that if she's still alive. I can't believe we're doing this again. PIPER: Agent Murphy thinks we never should have stopped. PHOEBE: Wait. Does he know who we really are? PIPER: No, but he's getting warmer. (The crystal hits the map just as the downstairs door slams shut.) PAIGE: Guess who. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MANOR - FOYER -- NIGHT] (Billie walks through the foyer when Antosis shimmers into the house behind her.) ANTOSIS: Looking for me, are you? BILLIE JENKINS: Antosis. I'm flattered. ANTOSIS: And of course, you've already met my friend. (The Imp Master appears next to him. He waves to her.) Or rather, his friends. BILLIE JENKINS: What do you want? ANTOSIS: You. Alone. And out of my way. (Antosis heads over to her. The Imp Master lurches and the Imps appear out of his body, red and swirling around him. He smiles as he walks toward her.) (Piper, Paige and Phoebe come down the stairs, hidden away from view. Piper starts to motion to blast Antosis, but Phoebe stops her.) PHOEBE: No! Wait. PIPER: Are you kidding me? There's demons in the house. PHOEBE: But she said she has a plan. ANTOSIS: I am curious. What made you think you could take me out all by yourself? BILLIE JENKINS: Oh ... I know I can't take you out. (She holds up a potions bottle filled with red liquid.) But I can take them out. (She throws the bottle at the Imp Master. It smashes at his feet and starts to destroy the Imps. He convulses and screams with each tiny explosion. Finally, he explodes as well.) BILLIE JENKINS: Only The Charmed Ones can vanquish you. ANTOSIS: Too bad they're dead. BILLIE JENKINS: Are they? (She turns and looks up the stairway. Phoebe Paige and Piper start to read the spell.) PIPER/PHOEBE/PAIGE: (chants) Hear us now, the witches' call, he who makes Samaritans fall, we speak as one, the sisters three, and banish you to eternity." (A powerful wave surrounds Antosis and swirls around him.) ANTOSIS: (screams) No! No! (Billie watches with amazement as Antosis is consumed by the magic.) ANTOSIS: Nooooo! (Finally, he explodes, the power receding back into the floor. Billie looks at them and points to where Antosis used to be.) BILLIE JENKINS: I wanna learn how to do that. PIPER: Are you crazy? Really, you could have been killed. BILLIE JENKINS: Well, yeah, I would have been if you guys would have gotten home earlier. I've been walking around outside for like an hour! PAIGE: You took a huge risk. PIPER: For all of us. PHOEBE: Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. VARIOUS CUTS OF SAN FRANCISCO (STOCK) - NIGHT] [EXT. SAN FRANCISCO BRIDGE (STOCK) - SUN RISES] [EXT. HALLIWELL MANOR (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. MANOR - PHOEBE'S BEDROOM -- MORNING] (Phoebe sits on the edge of her bed and looks at her wedding ring. She turns and looks at her mirror. In the reflection, she sees a face - not her own.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MANOR - BATHROOM - MORNING] (Paige holds her toothbrush, turns and closes the cabinet mirror. She sees a reflection of a face - not her own.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MANOR - PIPER'S BEDROOM - MORNING] (Piper sits in front of the vanity mirror looking at her reflection. Leo comes up behind her and smiles. In the mirror, they see reflections of two other people. Piper looks up at Leo, reaches up and touches his face.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MANOR - DINING ROOM -- DAY] (Paige and Phoebe toy listlessly with their breakfasts. Piper and Leo walk in.) LEO: Morning. PHOEBE: Morning. PAIGE: Morning. PIPER: What's the matter? PHOEBE: (sighs) Oh, I don't know. I guess the same thing that's been bothering you guys. LEO: What makes you think something's bothering us? PAIGE: Thin walls. PIPER: You've been eavesdropping? PHOEBE: Only from the bathroom. PAIGE: Yeah, and the hallway. Don't worry. I haven't been listening to any ... you know, funny stuff. PIPER: How long has this been going on? PHOEBE: Since like the fourth or fifth grade. (Piper closes her eyes, embarrassed. She turns and looks at Leo. He smiles back at her.) LEO: I'll fix it. PAIGE: Basically, I don't think this whole thing is working for any of us anymore. PHOEBE: I don't think it ever worked. LEO: Well, it helped you find a new life outside of fighting demons. PIPER: Which is something we need to keep trying to do. PAIGE: Well, we've got Billie, so that's gonna make it easier. PHOEBE: Yeah, but it doesn't solve our bigger problem which is how we're gonna get outta this mess. I am so tired of pretending to be someone else. I miss me. PAIGE: Well, maybe that's what your premonition was for. Maybe you wouldn't have realized that if you hadn't married Dex. PHOEBE: Yeah, but I didn't marry Dex. Julie married Dex. LEO: I think that's her point. I think that's everyone's point. You want your old identities back. (Paige nods.) PIPER: Are we sure we really wanna do this? PAIGE: Positive. PHOEBE: Absolutely. (She looks at Leo. He nods.) PIPER: All right then. (They stand up as Piper and Leo stand behind them in front of the mirror.) PIPER: Are you sure you can rework the spell? PHOEBE: Oh, I already have. PHOEBE: (reading) "I call upon the ancient powers to unmask us now and in future hours show us well, and thoroughly reveal ourselves so the world can see." (The mirror flashes and their old images are back.) PAIGE: (sighs) Whoo. That's more like it. PHOEBE: It's good to be back. Although Dex is gonna freak out. PAIGE: Everyone's gonna freak out, because technically, we're still dead. How, exactly, are we gonna explain this? PIPER: Well, it's nice to know they can't overhear everything. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOMELAND SECURITY - LOBBY -- DAY] (The elevator doors open. Piper, Phoebe and Paige step out into the hallway. They walk over to the receptionist who sees them and stands up, her face full of surprise.) PIPER: Hi. How's it going? Ah, by any chance, is Agent Murphy in? RECEPTIONIST: Who ... who should I say is asking? PAIGE: Oh, I don't know, girls. Maybe we should just ... surprise him. [INT. HOMELAND SECURITY - MURPHY'S OFFICE - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (The door opens. Agent Murphy looks up from his work and stops as he sees Piper, Phoebe and Paige walk into his office.) AGENT MURPHY: What the hell? PHOEBE: What's the matter, Agent Murphy? You look like you just saw a ghost. AGENT MURPHY: (to the receptionist) Leave us. (The receptionist leaves and closes the door behind her.) Ahem. Keyes was right. PIPER: So were you. Did you mean it when you said you just wanted our help, that you weren't here to bust us? AGENT MURPHY: Wait -- how'd you know I said that? PIPER: Because you weren't talking to Jamie Bennet. You were talking to me. PAIGE: We were all magically disguised. PIPER: Come on. Don't look so surprised. You yourself said we were these ... powerful things. PHOEBE: Powerful witches, to be exact. PAIGE: Who did exactly what you wanted -- getting rid of that bad, bad demon who was hurting those good, Good Samaritans. AGENT MURPHY: Demons? PHOEBE: You know, he seems awfully shocked for a guy that claims to know about the supernatural. PIPER: You're right. Maybe we should go. (They turn to leave; he stops them.) AGENT MURPHY: Wait, no, no, don't. Please. Look, it's just ... it's one thing to believe in the stuff but another to actually ... see it. PAIGE: Fair enough. PIPER: Okay, here's the deal. You wanna know more about who we are and what we do, we'll tell you. PHOEBE: And help you out with a few cases along the way. If ... you help us. PIPER: And you don't get too greedy. PAIGE: And if you protect our secret. AGENT MURPHY: Or else what? (scoffs) What, is that some sort of threat? PHOEBE: Mm-mm. You don't want to know. AGENT MURPHY: Okay. What do you want me to do? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOMELAND SECURITY - LOBBY -- DAY] (Agent Murphy is talking to a group from the media.) AGENT MURPHY: I can't talk about the specifics of the case the sisters are involved in, okay? All I can say is it involved a threat to national security and that our agency got involved to protect them. That's it. (The reports start shouting their questions. One reporter's question gets through.) REPORTER: What kind of threat, sir? What kind of threat? (The camera pulls back from Agent Murphy.) AGENT MURPHY: I already said they were a witness to a crime, an attempt was made on their lives. We only falsified their deaths I order to flush out the perpetrators. [TV SET] (Camera pulls back on the press conference on the television set.) AGENT MURPHY: (from tv) All right? No more questions. (Agent Murphy leaves.) NEWS ANCHOR: And more late-breaking news ... [INT. DEX LAWSON'S LOFT - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (Dex is working on a sculpture when there's a knock at his door.) (He turns the television off and answers the door. He finds Phoebe standing there.) DEX LAWSON: Phoebe! PHOEBE: Hi. DEX LAWSON: Hi! PHOEBE: Can I come in? DEX LAWSON: Uh, yeah. Sure. (Phoebe steps into the apartment. Dex closes the door, surprised to see her.) DEX LAWSON: I was, uh ... just -- I mean, I can't believe you're actually ... PHOEBE: Alive? DEX LAWSON: Yeah! It's crazy, huh? PHOEBE: (laughs) Yeah. (She sighs.) DEX LAWSON: Oh, if you're looking for Julie, she's not here. PHOEBE: That's not entirely true. DEX LAWSON: Sorry? (Phoebe takes a deep breath.) PHOEBE: Look, Dex, I ... wish that there was an easier way to explain this to you, uh, to lessen the blow. But ... there isn't. So I'm just gonna have to show you ... DEX LAWSON: Show me what? PHOEBE: Forgive me. (Orb lights swirl around her and she changes into Julie Bennet. Dex is speechless and surprised. He falls to the floor with at thud.) PHOEBE: Ouch. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. P-3 - OFFICE] (Piper is looking at her reflection in the mirror.) PIPER: How do I look? (Paige steps in front of her.) PAIGE: Not bad, considering you've been dead. PIPER: Well, I just hope this blows over sooner rather than later. PAIGE: Don't count on it. We're not that lucky. All right. We can do this. We are back and better than ever. PIPER: Mm-hmm. I'll hold you to that. [EXT. P-3 - FRONT - CONTINUOUS] (The door opens. Paige and Piper step out into the club.) GIRL: There they are! GIRL 2: Whoo-hoo! (Cameras flash and the crowd gathered applauds.) (Paige and Piper nervously face the crowds.) PAIGE: (shrugs) We're back.

Unaware that she is being watched, Billie jeopardizes the Charmed Ones' new lives when Agent Murphy of Homeland Security, who has suspected all along that she and the "cousins" are involved in supernatural activities and that the Halliwell sisters are not dead, spots her using her powers to save an innocent. Meanwhile, Phoebe's planned overnight trip with Dex starts with an unexpected assist from Billie and comes to a surprising conclusion when Billie casts a spell from the book of shadows intending to help and to make her happy, with unexpected consequences. Both Paige and Phoebe, having repeatedly questioned the manner the three are living conclude that the situation is untenable as they are constantly living a lie with those they would trust, and innocents are suffering as well. As that happens, Agent Murphy having already approached Billie, confronts Piper and makes plain that he feels the world needs their continued ministrations. Billie sets a trap for the Demons and vanquishes the imp-master while the power of the three vanquish its master from ambush. At the end of the episode, the three agree that the masquerade should be canceled and uncast the magic which had disguised them. Approaching Agent Murphy, the three cut a deal to have him cover for them explaining away the inconvenience of their faked deaths as being due to national security concerns which allows them to resume life as themselves.

fd_Angel_03x05

fd_Angel_03x05_0

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Librarian: "Fred disappeared five years ago. They never found her." Wes: "Cordy's been sucked into the portal. She's in the Host's dimension." Fred: "They use you as a slave and then your body gives." Constable: "Fugitive!" Fred: "Oh no!" Angel kills the demon Guard Captain. Fred: "Handsome man - saved me from the monsters." Fred: "I love tacos. D-do they still have them?" Wes: "The host reads their souls, senses their futures." Cordy: "Yes, but he can only do it when they sing Karaoke." Fred sings "Crazy." Gunn's old gang comes in and shoots the place up. Lorne: "Ah! My club! Friends of yours, Gunn?" Wes is looking past the naked sword blade to the person holding it. Wes: "You wouldn't dare. - You were just going to toss in a Prothgarian broadsword with a third-century ceremonial Sancteus dagger?" Cordy turns the sword in her hands to give it a second look. Cordy: "Hmm. Let's see. Long, metal, pointy. - Yup." Wes: "Cordy! The purpose of an inventory..." Gunn: "Yes, give us that (mimics Wes English accent) purpose of an inventory speech - again." Wes: "This wasn't my idea." Cordy: "No. Angel - keeps complaining that the weapons cabinet is all different. But, Wesley, who's the boss around here? You - or the guy with the pancreas dagger." Fred: "What time is it?" Wes holds up his wrist to Cordy and read his watch. Cordy: "Six twenty four, and for those of you who are playing the home game: that's exactly three minutes from the last time you asked." Fred fumbles around with the strange contraption (looks like a hybrid between a suitcase, a crossbow and a sowing machine - or something like that). Fred: "I'm sorry. I just - I have this theory that the more you are aware of time the more slowly it moves, which *could* make light speed travel possible, but only if you were to concentrate really..." Cordy: "He'll be back when he's back." Fred: "So - now that she's alive again, are they gonna get back together? Angel and that girl with the goofy name?" Wes: "Well - *Fred* - that's a difficult question. I think it's fair to say - no. Not a chance, never, no way, not in a million years, and also 'nuh-uh.'" Fred: "But you said he loved her. And of course she's gonna love him back, because he's so strong and handsome and he really listens when you talk. I-I mean, if you go for that sort of thing, why wouldn't it work?" Cordy: "Let me break it down for you, Fred." Cordy steps away from the reception counter and pretends to be Buffy. Cordy: "Oh - Angel! I know that I'm a Slayer and you a vampire - and it would be *impossible* for us to *be* together - *but!*" Gunn laughs at Cordy's act. Wes stands up: "But!" Cordy turns to look at him. Wes pulls his glasses off and lays them to the side. Wes: "My gypsy curse sometimes prevent me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy!" Cordy: "Yes, Angel?" Wes: "Oh, I love you so much I almost forgot to *brood!*" Fred watches wide-eyed. Gunn is laughing. Cordy: "And just because I sent you to hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends." Wes grabs a hold of Cordy's wrist. Cordy: "Oh!" Wes: "Or possibly more." Cordy gasps: "Gasp! No! We mustn't." Wes pulls Cordy close. Wes: "Kiss me." Cordy: "Bite me!" Wes bends Cordy back over his arm and pretends to sink his fangs into her neck. Angel off screen: "How about you both bite me." Fred jumps up: "You're back!" Cordy and Wes see Angel watching them and quickly scurry apart. Gunn: "How'd it go?" Angel: "I think those two pretty much summed it up. To be honest - I *really* don't wanna talk about it." Cordy tugs her mini skirt back in place. Cordy: "But... ah, Angel - we're your friends. (Gives him a big, friendly smile) and, and it-it's not healthy to repress stuff like *this.* You-you need to share your - pain, express those feelings of grief and longing or... The curiosity is gonna kill me!" Angel quietly: "Oh, no. Wouldn't want that." Fred: "Personally, I don't care at all what happened." Cordy as she walks past Fred: "Shut up, Fred." Angel quietly: "Actually, you know what I need right now? - Ice cream. (Looks at Fred) You wanna get some ice cream?" Fred with a big grin: "I like Ice cream!" She walks over to Angel and they leave the hotel together. Cordy: "Now we'll never, ever know." Angel off screen: "That's right." Angel and Fred are walking along a dimly lit sewer tunnel with Fred holding a big ice cream cone. Fred: "This has been the best night ever! First there's you taking me to ice cream, then there is the ice cream, then that monster jumps out of the freezer and you're all brave and "Fred, watch out!", and then we get to chase it down into the sewers, which are just so bleak and oppressive and - homey. And, and I could build a condo down here." Angel: "I'm glad you're having fun." Fred: "You think maybe the monster just wanted a sugar cone?" Angel: "I doubt it. Durslar beasts don't usually come above ground like that. They tend to stick to the sewers." Fred: "Lucky stiffs. They get to lead lives of mysterious sewage while I'm just plain ol' boring ol' Fred." Angel: "Boring? That's not a word I'd use for you." Fred: "Fine. Nutty-ol'-goonie-bird-up-in her-room-doin'-nothin'-but-moochin'-off-Angel Fred. I swear I don't know how you all put up with me. I practically need flashcards to understand my (looks past Angel) pretty crystals. Oh, look. They're everywhere." A dull roaring sounds and Fred jumps back. Fred: "It wasn't me." Angel: "Oh, no, no, no. We must be near the Durslar's lair. Why don't you head back on to the hotel. I can take it from here." Fred: "But shouldn't we call Wesley first and maybe, you know, the army?" Angel: "Nah. Durslar beasts are pretty Faulknerian. Lotta sound, no fury. Think you can find your way back okay?" Fred: "I think so. 128 meters back, eastward fork, 207 meters to the southward fork, hang a right, 12 meters in... I'm just being a big nerd again, aren't I? (Angel nods) I'm gonna go now." Fred heads down the tunnel and Angel turns to walk towards the Durslar's lair. Fred turning back around: "A-are you sure you're gonna be okay? Because I can stay with you. I really don't mind." Angel: "I'll be fine." Fred: "You don't need me. Okay. Bye!" Fred disappears around the corner then sticks her head out to look back around it. Fred: "Are you sure?" Angel with a little laugh: "I'm fine!" Fred: "Okay. Bye then!" Finally leaves for good, with Angel watching her go, big smile on his face - not noticing the Durslar coming up behind him. Intro Back at the Hyperion Wes, Cordy and Gunn are still busy with the weapons inventory. Wes: "Three-pronged Scythian death spear, category six. Weapons cabinet, third shelf." Cordy takes the tagged spear and puts it in the weapons cabinet. Wes: "You know, back in my days as a rogue demon hunter I once used that very spear to pin down what I thought was a small Rodentius demon - of course the poodle's owners weren't very happy." Gunn to Cordy: "Would you hurry up and get a vision already?" Cordy straightens up and backs away from the weapons cabinet. Cordy: "Ah, gee, Gunn, much as I would *love* to endure another soul-splittingly agonizing psychic invasion for your benef-ow! Ow! Ow!" Wes and Gunn hurry over to where Cordy is hunching over in pain. Gunn: "Yes! Yes!" Cordy: "No! Ow, Fred! Ouch. I really wish she wouldn't leave her toys lying around!" Cordy walks over to sit on the round settee, rubbing her shin after having bumped in Fred's contraption. Gunn: "Ooh! Pretty wicked looking toy!" Wes: "I'll say. It almost looks like a spring-loaded decapitation device." Cordy: "Or it makes toast. With her you never know." Man's voice: "Ah. Excuse me! Ah, is this Angel Investigations?" The gang looks up to see a middle-aged couple standing on the landing just inside the front doors. Wes: "Yes. Can we help you?" Roger: "I sure hope so. I'm Roger, and this is my wife, Trish. Ah, we're sorry to barge in on your... arsenal here, but - we really need to talk to you." Wes: "Of course. Please, step into my office." Craning his neck to get another look at the arsenal of weapons on display, Roger ushers his wife down the stairs. They all enter Wes' office. Wes: "I'm Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. These are my colleagues, Cordelia Chase and Charles Gunn." They shake hands. Wes: "What can we do for you?" The couple sits down in the chairs in front of Wes' desk as Wes settles in his chair as well. Trish: "It's our daughter. She's missing." Cordy: "Oh, no. Kidnapped by evil fiends?" Trish: "We're not sure." Wes making notes: "I see. Was your daughter involved in any kind of demon worship?" Roger: "Of course not!" Gunn: "Could be a vampire. Hard luck tracking one of those in a city this big, but don't worry. We're detectives. We can find anyone." Roger: "We already hired a detective." Wes: "And he couldn't locate her." Roger: "He said she was staying here - in your hotel." Trish: "Her name is Winifred Burkle. We call her Fred." Wes looks up at Gunn and Cordy. Fred is coming up into the lobby through the basement door, still licking her ice cream cone. She hears voices, glances at the open door to Wes' office. She sees Roger and Trish and runs up the stairs to her room. Gunn: "Fred's your daughter?" Trish: "Yes. You know her?" Roger: "Is she here? Is she alright?" Wes: "She's fine and - out at the moment - with one of our associates." Cordy: "Who is not an evil fiend - or a vampire - because they don't exist. In - case you aren't familiar with our LA gumshoe detective slang." Roger: "But what happened to her? It's been five years -- has she been with y'all this whole time?" Wes: "No. Ah, we've only known Fred for a few months, really. - You see we found her in..." Wes looks at Cordy and Gunn. Cordy: "Ah, a fit of depression." Trish: "Fred was depressed? (Cordy nods) Over what?" Cordy looks at Wes. Wes: "She had recently relocated and was - having trouble adjusting. So, how did you come to find her again?" Trish: "Oh, about a month ago we got a letter from her in the mail." Roger: "But she didn't leave her return address. In fact she said she was fine and we shouldn't bother looking for her, but..." Trish: "Five years of not knowing whether your daughter's alive or... Well, how could we just let it go?" Roger: "So we hired the private eye." Gunn: "And he tracked her down through an un-addressed envelope? We could do that." Angel: "Wait til you guys hear what happened at Haagen Dazs! Ordinarily these things don't put up much of a fight, but this one? Hoo! I think I'm gonna have it..." Angel walks into the office, carrying the Durslar's severed head. Sees Fred's parents. Angel: "...mounted. - Hello." Cordy: "Angel. you're -- alone. And - and you brought ... a prop! From your movie! (to parents) This is Angel. - *Angel* - makes - monster movies. - Angel, these are Fred's very *normal* parents." Angel puts the head behind his back. Angel: "Ah. - Fred has parents." Fred is up in her room, trying to (unsuccessfully) wipe off the writing on the wall using a towel. Looks around the room and grabs the pieces of clothing lying on the nightstand and bed. Angel smiling: "Well it sure is - nice to meet you both." Roger: "Ah. Son, you-your prop is dripping." Angel looks down at the green blood dripping from the severed demon neck. Angel laughing: "Oh, yeah. This (swings the demon head up by the hair, causing Roger and Trish to duck back) - fake. You know, a little glue, paper machee..." Angel tosses the head back behind himself without looking into the lobby - where we hear a big crash of glass as it lands. Angel: "...possibly some lead. So, Fred's parents - we've heard so - much... Well, uhm, sure is nice to meet you folks." Gunn: "No address anywhere on the envelope?" Roger: "No. None." Gunn: "Ah." Roger to Angel: "Do you know when Fred will be back?" Angel looks towards Cordy and Gunn, who give him pointed looks in return. Angel: "Oh, me. Well, yeah, ah, I sent her right back here, right before I... picked up that - prop. So I'm sure she's - up in her room (Trish and Roger smile at each other) - right now." Fred's parents and the gang survey Fred's room - which is remarkably clean and organized. Trish: "Fred?" Roger: "She's not here." Angel picks up the crumpled ice cream cone wrapper from the floor. Angel: "No. But she was." Trish looks at the walls. Trish: "This - it's her writing. But what does this mean? It's just crazy." Roger quietly to Trish: "We might have to call them in sooner than we thought." Cordy is whispering to Wes and Gunn: "Guys - when was the last time Fred ever left the hotel by herself?" Gunn: "A couple of weeks after never." Roger: "We want our daughter." Wes: "So, what is she running from?" The three of them turn to look at Fred's parents, standing across the room from them. Fred is hurrying a darkened street, wearing a backpack and looking scared. Break The gang is alone in Wesley's office. Cordy: "There's just something - off about them. I can't put my finger on what." Wes: "Fred must have returned while we were in here, seen her parents and..." Angel: "Took off. That's not a good sign." Gunn: "They said she sent them a letter. Can you picture Fred sneaking off to send a letter?" Cordy: "Pfft! Sneaking off, right. Fred can barely tie her shoes without Mr. 'oh, you're my big, fat hero!' around." Angel quietly: "You think I'm fat?" Wes: "This could be a ruse, to trick us into letting them get close to her. Making it seem as though she'd initiated contact." Angel: "On the other hand if the letter is real and she told them not to look for her, there's got to be a reason for that." Cordy: "Fred never talks about her family." Angel: "So, where do we start?" Angel looks form one to the other, but they all stay silent. Angel: "Where would Fred go?" Gunn: "We could hit all the local taco stands. (Everyone looks at him) Joke! - Kind of." Angel: "Come on, guys, think! What do we know about Fred?" Gunn: "Well, I knew about the tacos." Angel: "All right. She seemed pretty comfortable in the sewers. They're dark, cave-like. She felt safe there. I'll head back down there, see if I can find her." Wes: "She worked at the Public Library. There may be colleagues there she trusted." Cordy has been peeking out into the lobby at ma and pa Burkle sitting on the settee, talking quietly to each other. Cordy: "What about them? We can't just leave them there! (The guys look at each other) What if Fred comes back?" The Burkle's look up, catching sight of Cordy watching them and Cordy quickly pulls her head back out of sight. Cordy: "Oh!" Roger: "Is it time?" Trish: "Not yet." The gang follows Wes out of the office into the lobby. Wes: "Mr. and Mrs. Burkle, we're gonna try a few places we think Fred may have gone. Would you like to come along?" Roger: "Ah, all six of us? Wouldn't it make more sense to split up, cover more territory?" Gunn after a beat: "Perhaps." Angel: "Well, I'm gonna check out some of my, ah, industry contacts. So it'll just be the five of you." Trish: "Industry contacts? Why would... - Fred's not - 'making movies,' is she?" Angel: "Movies? Oh, you mean... No! No, no, of course not. It's just some of these contacts they-they know things sometimes. They're, ah, underground." Wes: "Right. Uh - shall we go?" The Burkles follow Cordy and Gunn out the door. Angel grabs a hold of Wes' arm as he passes him. Angel: "Call me if..." Wes: "Yeah." Lorne, smoking a cigarette and wearing a white, terry bathrobe, makes his way through a bead curtain to answer the banging on the door. Lorne: "Oh, figures. Right when Judge Judy is about to lay the smack down. (More banging) I'm coming! I'm not death, you know." Lorne puts his cigarette into an ashtray sitting on one of the tables in his deserted bar. The table collapses, sending the bottles sitting on top of it crashing to the floor. Lorne doesn't react, just continues to shuffle towards the bar, where he pushes a button that unlocks the door. Lorne: "Can't you read the sign on the door? Se habla 'closed.' (Fred comes down the steps) Oh, Fred, it's you. The bar is closed. (Turns away) Good seeing you. It's been fun. Bye-bye." Fred takes a deep breath and launches into "Row, row, row your boat" as she hurries after Lorne. Lorne: "Ouch! Turn the sirens down a notch, would you? All that fear and panic's blowing out my fuses." Fred: "I'm sorry. It's just - something awful has happened." Lorne: "Oh really? (Sweeps a hand out to encompass his club - still as trashed as Gunn's former gang left it) I wonder what that's like." Fred: "Oh, no. Was there another massacre?" Lorne: "Oh, no. No. Just the one. But it turns out massacres are a lot like sitting through Godfather three: once is enough." Fred: "I'm not... I mean, I don't wanna sound... Why is it still like this?" Lorne: "Ah, Fred, honey, I don't think you're here to discuss interior decorating. Am I wrong?" Lorne pulls out a chair at an intact table, rights the overturned lamp on it and indicates the chair opposite from his. Lorne: "Now, what can I do for you?" Fred sits down: "I - I need cash. I don't wanna talk about it, because I think my head might go a little twang and I'll sing if I have to. (Starts singing) Row, row, row..." Lorne: "Easy! Easy! Forget the singing, sweetheart. Your aura is practically screaming! - Yeah, you are in a bad place, aren't you doll? - You thought you could outrun them - and maybe you were free. - But those old monsters hunted you down. - I know why you're running away, Fred. You know what your problem is?" Fred: "I'm not strong enough to stay and face my fear." Lorne: "No. You haven't run far enough." Fred just looks at him. A rat runs along on top of a pipe running along the ceiling of a sewer tunnel. Angel: 'Fred? - Fred, it's just me! - I'm alone. - Listen - whatever that thing is with your parents? - You know, we can help you. - Fred?" Two glowing blue eyes peek around a recess behind Angel as he walks on. Night, Los Angeles Public Library Trish: "Does Fred come to the library often?" Cordy: "Uh, well, this was the first place I ever saw her." Trish: "She used to love our little community library back home. Every afternoon, I'd pick her up there after my rounds." Cordy: "Oh, a doctor! No wonder Fred's so smart!" Trish: "I drive a school bus." Cordy: "Oh. Well, I-I've actually never - ridden in one of those, but I hear they're very nice." Roger: "What exactly does Fred do for you people? It strikes me a little odd, a physicist working for a detective agency." Cordy: "Uh, well, Fred's ah... gone through some changes." Roger: "And whose fault is that?" Cordy is still thinking when Wes and Gunn walk in. Wes: "We've swept all the floors. Nothing." Trish: "Oh!" Roger: "So. What's next?" Wes: "Give me one second to confer with my colleagues." He pulls Cordy away with him and Gunn. Gunn: "I could have *told* you she wasn't going to be at the library." Wes: "Then if you know so much about her, Gunn, why don't you just tell us where she is?" Gunn: "Bet that taco stand's not looking so bad now, is it?" Cordy: "Hey! Mr. and Mrs. Bickerson, a little focus, please. There is *definitely* something going on with them." They looks over at the Burkles talking quietly to each other. Wes: "So, where *do* we go next? - Where would Fred go for help? For guidance?" Angel is still slowly walking along the sewer looking for Fred. Angel: "Fred? - Nothing to be afraid of." Angel jumps as his cell phone rings. He pulls it out of the breast pocket of his coat and opens it. Angel: "What? - No. You?" We get a distorted shot of Angel in the sewer tunnel as if seen from above. Angel lets out a deep breath: "Oh! You mean the place where she would go for help and guidance! (Turns to go back the way he came) And we call ourselves detectives." We get another distorted shot of Angel walking away. Angel: "I'll meet you there." Angel walks past the camera and we see a strange silhouette with blue glowing bug eyes in the tunnel behind him, watching him walk away. Lorne: "Well, isn't this a lovely surprise." Cordy: "*He's* surprised. I didn't think he *owned* terry cloth." Lorne: "Hmm. Such a small entourage tonight. Hey, Gunn, why didn't you bring your other friends? 'cause they make a party." Gunn looks from Wes to Angel, to Lorne: "Maybe I should wait outside." Lorne: "You know, I'm - I'm not entirely uncomfortable with that suggestion." Gunn leaves. Trish: "What kind of a place is this?" Lorne: "Oh, do you like it? I was kinda going for a Dresden after the bombing sort of feel." Roger: "Ah, is this one of your big 'industry contacts?' Some guy in a bathrobe, wearing makeup and fake horns?" Lorne: "They're not fake! And it's - only a little eyeliner." Wes: "Lorne, I'd like you to meet Fred's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Burkle. They're here visiting - from the country." Roger: "Yeah. You have to forgive us hicks. Down in Texas we don't get a lot of guys who wear eyeliner - not for long anyway." Cordy: "He's just teasing you. He probably just got back from a shoot. He and Angel do monster movies together! Right, Lorne?!" Lorne: "Ah... No." Angel walks up to Lorne and pulls him aside. Angel: "Can I talk to you for a second?" Trish, leaning against the bar: "Some detectives! You have no idea where our daughter is, do you?" Cordy and Wes stay quiet. Roger: "Maybe they do. Maybe they just don't want us to find her." Angel: "Look, Lorne, I'm sorry about the bar, but right now Fred is missing and we need your help." Lorne: "Oh, really? Yeah, well, I'm not some mystical vending machine here to spit out answers every time *you* waltz in with a problem. I have a heart. Granted it's located in my left butt cheek, but it's still a heart. And that heart is broken! I mean, why is it no one ever cares about *my* destiny? Everyone who walks through that door is all about me, me, me. Well, what about my me? My me's important." Angel: "You know where she is, don't you?" Lorne: " A-and another thing, how... how do they get the pimentos in the olives, huh? There's a mystery for you. You know, do they stuff each one by hand, 'cause that seems a little time consuming, or do you think they have a - little - pimento - stuffing - machine ..." Angel just looks at Lorne. Lorne sighs: "Fred doesn't want to see her parents. She has reason for that. I mean, why force a showdown if you don't have to?" Angel: "Because it won't be over. They found her once, they'll do it again. At least this time we can be there to protect her. (Lorne shakes his head a little and looks away) Please. - Tell me where Fred is. - I know you're not a slot machine." Lorne: "Vending machine, you big palooka. (sighs) Alright, but play this one delicately, bro. Because it's gonna get messy." Fred is clutching a ticket in her hands as she is sitting on a bench next to an elderly homeless man. Fred: "I can do this. Sure I can. I can just get right up on that bus and be a whole new person - like origami - or plastic. Move some place I've never been with no money, no friends, no job. Easy as pie. 3.14 159265..." The homeless guy gets up and moves away. Fred: "Oh, hey, I was just calculating pi - to relax. I'm not dangerous." We get a distorted picture of Fred sitting on the bench in the bus terminal as if seen from above (like the one we got of Angel in the sewer earlier). Fred: "I could go to Vegas. Learn to play Black Jack. Memorize four hundred fifty two consecutive digits of pi a few hundred measly cards are easy." Through the potted palm fronds behind Fred's bench we can see her parents and the fang gang enter the bus terminal. Fred: "Nine, ten, Jack. (looks over and sees her parents talking to one of the clerks) Queen, King. No!" Trish turns and sees Fred getting up from the bench. Trish: "Fred?" Fred: "No, you're not here! Go away!" Trish: "Fred, honey, it's us!" Fred shakes her head: "No. You're not them. You can't be them, because they don't know." Roger: "Sweetie, it's mom and dad." Fred: "Shh! Stop saying that. You *can't* be!" Trish: "Honey, don't you remember us?" Fred: "I was - I was five years and so lost and, and at night I would... I was all by myself and you weren't there!" Fred starts to cry. Roger: "Fred, I don't understand." Fred: "I got lost. I got lost, and they did terrible things to me, but, but it was just a storybook. It was just a story with monsters, not real. (keeps shaking her head) Not in the world but - but if you're here and you see me then - then it's real! And it did happen. If you see what they made of me... I - I didn't mean to get so lost!" Trish also crying takes Fred's face into her hands. Trish: "Oh, honey, it doesn't matter what they did to you." Embraces her daughter. Fred: "Mommy." Trish: "Oh, we're gonna make it all right." Fred: "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I got so lost." Roger: "It don't matter. You're our little girl." Fred: "I missed you so much. I didn't mean to..." Trish: "Shh..." Roger: "Everything's okay now. You'll see. You're safe now." Suddenly a big insect (like an overgrown hybrid between a spider and a cockroach) drops screeching from the ceiling. Roger: "Whoa! - Tell me *that's* something from the movies!" Cordy: "No. That's something that's gonna kill us." Break. [SCENE_BREAK] Angel: "Everybody outside." Wes: "Angel..." Angel: "Get them out of here. I can handle this. Move!" Gunn: "Let's go!" Angel ducks a stab of the creature's front legs. The gang and the Burles run out of the doors of the terminal. Roger: "What the hell is that?" Cordy: "All our weapons are back at the hotel!" Gunn: "Angel said he could handle..." Angel comes flying through the closed doors, smashing them, coming to rest across the street at Gunn's feet. Gunn: "...it." The bug follows Angel through the door. Angel turns to look up at it. He's wearing his vamp face. Gunn: "Maybe there's something in the trunk." As they run to the car: Roger: "What happened to his face?" Wes: "Angel's a vampire. He has a soul, but it's a long story. I'll tell you about it if we don't end up dying." Wes sees a pile of luggage and changed direction. Wes: "Cordy! Here." The bug is still stabbing and slicing at Angel with its pincers. Angel manages to duck most of them before getting swiped off his feet. Gunn: "Hey! Bug boy!" Gunn has found a compound sports bow and loosens an arrow. The bug shrieks and goes for the downed Angel again only to have Cordy and Wes attacking it with golf clubs. Gunn grabs a club of his own and joins the fray. The bug manages to knock a club out of someone's hands and it slides across the ground to come to rest in front of Fred. Angel is back up and slugging as well. The bug manages to send him flying against the wheel of one of the parked busses. As Angel gets back up, the bug stabs him in each shoulder with its pincers, pinning him up against the bus. Fred hits on the bug from behind with the golf club and it lets go of Angel to turn on Fred. Angel: "Fred, get out of the..." Angel pushes Fred out of the way, but the bug still scores on Fred's arm - before getting hit over the head hard with a metal cylinder by Roger. Roger: "That's my *daughter* you damn cockroach!" Angel jumps on the bugs back, pinning its forelegs against its body, immobilizing them. Roger helps Fred up. Roger: "Here, baby. Come on, come on." Roger leads Fred over to the side. The bug breaks Angel's grip and shakes him off then turns around and sends him flying through the air to impact with the side of a parked bus. The bug goes after Angel - only to get splatted by a bus barreling by. The bus stops and Trish gets out. Trish: "Did I get it? Did I get it, y'all?" They are all back in the lobby of the Hyperion. Cordy is doctoring the scratch on Fred's arm. Trish: "I almost hate to ask, but - you do a lot of bandaging in your line of work?" Cordy: "Mmm. Occupational hazard. I mean, sure there is the occasional demon who tries to kill us with pillows, but, sadly, those cases are few and far between." Roger is looking at the Durslar's head. It has some of the same pretty crystals that Fred spotted in the sewer around its lair stuck to its side. Roger: "How about this guy? Was he a demon?" Cordy: "I think Angel called it a Durslar beast." Fred touches the crystals with her finger. Cordy: "He and Fred tracked it down after it attacked them when they went out for ice cream." Roger: "You mean you know how to track these things, Fred?" Fred: "No. Mostly I was just there for the ice cream." Trish: "I wish he hadn't brought that thing out again. It gives me the willies." Roger: "Oh, don't be silly Trish. It's just a severed head." Gunn picks up the head to move it out of Trish's sight. Gunn: "I got it. The lady makes bug soup with a ten ton bus, but show her a paper-mache head, she gets the willies. Ha. Women." Gunn sets to head down on the reception counter beside Angel. Angel: "Uh, Gunn, you *do* know it's not paper-mache?" Gunn quickly takes his hands off the head. Gunn: "We still got that bleach in the bathroom?" Gunn runs for the bathroom. Angel and Wes watch the Burkles fuss over Fred. Angel: "I got to say this is not how I pictured this turning out." Wes: "They look happy, don't they?" Cordy: "Voila! That's French for 'I think we stopped the bleeding.'" Fred: "Thanks Cordelia." Cordy: "Next up: multiple stab wounds. Angel!" Angel jumps of his stool and hurries over to the settee. Angel: "Uh, it's my turn. Oh, yay!" Cordy: "What a dork." Fred walks over to Wes. Wes: "How does it feel, Fred?" Fred: "Like my heart's been put in one of those orange juice squeezers... (Looks down at her arm) Oh. Kind of like a giant bug tried to rip my arm off and Angel saved me." Trish: "He seems to do *that* a lot, doesn't he?" Fred: "It's what he does. Angel's the champion, and Wesley's the brains of the operation, Gunn's the muscle and Cordy's the heart, and I'm..." Roger: "And to think, we were wondering when to call the cops on a bunch of superheroes!" Angel: "Oh, I'm not really a hero." Gunn: "More like a bloodsucking fiend." Angel gives him a look. Roger: "Frankly, Angel, I don't care if you drink pig's blood, cows blood, or those froofy, little, imported beers. You saved my little girl." Angel: "Well, I wouldn't 've had to if she hadn't gone all Amazonian and whacked that thing with a golf club." Roger: "Well, I tell ya, I hadn't seen a stroke like that since Nicklaus took on Gary Player in the '63..." Angel and Roger: "Bob Hope Dessert Classic." They look at each other, laugh and shake hands. Angel: "Alright!" Fred: "I wanna go home." Everyone gets real quiet and looks at her. Fred: "I'm - I'm just not cut out for this. I mean, if Angel hadn't gotten me out of the way, you'd all be laughing in the morgue right now. - Okay, maybe not laughing, but - the point is, I think I should go home where it's quiet and safe and - monsters don't eat your family. - You're not - disappointed in me, are you?" Trish: "Oh, Fred. Never! Oh, it's gonna be so good to have you home!" The Burkles share a family hug. Gunn: "She probably be happier there." Wes: "Yeah. That's good." Fred stands in her room contemplating the writing on the wall. Angel appears in the open door behind her and knocks on it to get her attention. Fred: "Oh, Angel. Hi. I invite you in." Angel: "Thanks, but you only have to do that the first time. Once I'm invited..." Fred: "I know. I just figured since I'm going home now I'm not gonna be inviting you in anywhere. - Unless, of course, you come to Texas." Angel: "Or if you build that condo in the sewer." Silence. Angel: "So how you doing?" Fred: "Oh, ah - fizzy. - Kinda weird and... fizzy. But excited. - And a little sad. - Thankful. Sorta cautiously happy. Relieved and worried at the same time. Slightly nauseous while still bein', hopeful?" Angel: "And that about covers it. (Looks at the walls) Are you gonna remember everything that's up there?" Fred: "Well, sure. It's a story. (They both look at the walls) Once upon a time - there was a girl who lived all alone in a horrible cave - so far from home it made her chest hurt. - And every day in that horrible cave, the girl tried to figure out a way to escape. - None of her plans ever succeeded, of course, - and she'd almost given up hopin' - when one day, just like in a fairy tale - a handsome man rode up on a horse and saved her, - and took her back to his castle. - - Now you'd think that was the end, wouldn'tcha? Dumb old fairy tales and their happily ever afters." Fred sits down on the edge of her bed and Angel sits down beside her. Fred: "But see, the minute they got back to the castle, - the handsome man went away again. - And even though she didn't mean to, - didn't want to - high up in that castle the girl just built herself another cave. Hoping he would save her again. (Looks at Angel) But you can't save me *this* time. - Can you?" Angel remains silent and Fred looks down at her hands. Roger is talking to Wes and Gunn at reception counter, while Trish and Cordy sit on the settee together. Trish: " I mean, Rog's always had a thing for those disgusting "Alien" movies with all the slime and teeth. He just can't get enough of 'em. - Except for that last one they made I think he dozed off. - I just can't believe it's all real." Cordy: "Well, I don't know about aliens, but demons and alternate dimensions I know. It takes a little getting used to." Trish: "I'm so glad Fred's coming home. This place is too dangerous for her." Roger and Gunn carry Fred's contraption over to the settee. Roger: "Hey, honey, would you look at this? Fred *made* this." Gunn: "Cool, ain't it?" Wes: " We think it's some sort of mechanized weapon, possibly influenced by the medieval catapult, designed for serious to fatal wounding, if not complete decapitation." Roger: "Or it makes toast." Wes: "Or it makes toast." Trish sees Fred and Angel coming down the stairs. Trish: "Hey! You got everything packed, baby? What about that shirt with the bug guts on it? You-you threw that out, right? You're not taking it home, right?" Fred: "I don't know. I kinda thought I'd take it with me - guts and all. You know, as a souvenir." Roger: "Ah. That's my girl!" Fred looks at the gang: " You know, in the shower I had all these pretty things I was gonna say and I was gonna be all fancy and... aw, hell. (glancing at parents) I mean heck." Goes and give Gunn a big hug. Gunn holds on to her tightly for a moment then clears his throat and lets her go. Fred walks over to Wes. They dance around awkwardly for a moment trying to figure out whose arm will go where before hugging as well. Fred goes to hug Cordy. Cordy whispers: "Between you and me, I'm almost a little jealous." Fred walks over to Angel and the look at each other. Fred: "Thank you - for everything." Angel silently hands her the suitcase he carried down the steps for her. Angel: "Bye Fred." Fred gives him a smile and turns to her parents. Fred: "We better go before I get all runny." The Burkles walks up the steps to the front doors. Fred turns around one last time and waves at them all before the doors close behind them. The Burkles are sitting together in the back of a Taxi cab. Roger: "You're room is exactly how you left it. - All except for the guy renting it out, but his lease is up in a month." Fred: "You rented out my room?" Roger: "Well, honey, after the forth year... We didn't hear nothing from you!" Fred: "Daddy, I was kidnapped into an alternate dimension." The taxi driver kind of turns his head at that. Trish to driver: "Well, she *was*." Fred unzips her bag and takes out shirt she wore during the bug fight. Fred: "I'm just gonna miss 'em, that's..." She sees that the bug juice as turned into the same pretty crystals that where on the walls down in the sewer and on the demon's head back at the Hyperion. Fred: "Turn the car around. Now!" The gang is sprawled out in the chairs of Wes' office. Cordy: "In a really weird way, you know who I miss?" Wes: "Fred." Cordy: "Actually I was gonna say her parents. - Is that wrong." Angel: "I don't think so. They were very - nice." Cordy: "Nice? - They weren't just nice, Angel. They were..." Gunn: "Parents." Wes: " They loved her. - Supported her. - Didn't grind her down into a - tiny self-conscious nub with their constant berating. Their never ending tirade of debasement, and scorn and..." Wes trails off as he notices that all of the others are looking at him, makes as if to say something else, but then just stays silent. Cordy: "At least now Fred's got a shot at a normal life. Not that I don't love you guys, and LA, and my work, but - things are just never normal around here. You know?" We get a close up of the Durslar's severed head. Something is moving beneath its skin. Break Wes: "She was so smart." Angel: "I'm gonna miss her. She was just this nice, quiet kind of crazy. - I found that - soothing." Cordy: "And what? I'm not soothing? (Cordy sits up) I can be soothing. I could soothe your ass off, pal." Gunn: "Plus, she was pretty handy with a five iron." Gunn and Wes look at each other sharing a laugh. Cordy: "Right before she almost got killed. Personally, I'm *glad* she's gone. It's gonna be a load off not having to worry about crazy taco lady anymore." Angel: "She'll come back to visit." Cordy: "Do you really think she'll come back and visit?" The Durslar head is bubbling like crazy now and a giant insect looking just like the one from the bus terminal is looking in the window - but the gang doesn't notice either of that. Cordy: "Well, that's it. I'm not gonna sit around here and mope like you - bunch - of - mopers. I'm gonna go home (She puts on her shoes) Eat some comfort food. (Gets up and starts to walk out) Have a good cry. Crawl under my big, fluffy... (enters the lobby and sees the bug entering the hotel) giant bug!" Cordy screams and runs back into the office just as the guys come running out. Gunn: "We hit that thing with a bus. You're telling me a bus won't kill it?" Angel: "I don't think it's the same one." Angel is looking out into the garden court which is crawling with giant bugs. Cordy: "We are so immensely dead." Wes: "Weapons." Angel runs and rolls over the counter to engage the bug while the others run for the weapons cabinet. Weapons in hand Wes turns only to see the bug throwing Angel to the floor. Wes: "Angel, we.." The door opens and Fred runs in. Fred: "Here! I'm here." Wes: "Fred?" Fred: "Oh, I'm late!" Roger helps her to drag her contraption into position. The bug is still stabbing at the downed Angel. Gunn and Wes raise their weapons trying to block it's pincers. Angel: "Who's helping me here?" Fred: "I am!" She stomps down on her contraption. A battle axe sails through the air and splits the Durslar head like an over ripe melon. Green goop spatters the wall and a bunch of little cockroaches crawl free of it. The bug leaves off Angel and the gang, instead going to collect the bug filled bottom part of the head. The bug heads for the garden court. The little bugs follow after it. Fred and her parents come down the front steps. Gunn: "So. *Not* a toaster." Angel: "Fred, how did you..." Fred: "The crystals. The ones we saw in the sewer? They were on the Durslar head , too. And at first I thought they came from the Durslar, but then I saw *this*. - Daddy?" Roger hands her the crystal covered shirt. Fred: "Those crystals are just dried up bug goop. It must have laid its eggs in the Durslar's head, which would explain the Durslar coming up out of the sewer, 'cause, I mean, wouldn't you be a little crazy if you had eggs in your head? I know I would. (Cordy opens her mouth, glances at Angel and closes it again) Anyway, that'd be all fine and Darwinian, except Angel killed the Durslar and brought the head back here, so the Bug had to track him down to get its babies back." Wes: "And at the bus station, when Trish ran over the mother..." Fred: "Or father. I think it might be a hive species gender neutral, but I'd have to do some research to back that up." Wes: "The whole hive showed up in order to reclaim its offspring. (Fred nods) Brilliant deduction, Fred!" Gunn: "Not to mention, that little axe gadget is tight." Fred laughing: "That was just a random thought I had. What if you had to do battle with your arms cut off? Sure, you'd hemorrhage to death pretty quick, but at least you could take your enemy with you!" Angel: "Nice going, Fred." Fred: "Aw, it was nothing. Just a stunning revelation of my true path in life, that's all." Roger: "Come again, honey?" Fred walks over to her parents: "Look - I could go home with you and pretend the last five years didn't happen. - I could even pretend to have a normal life. - But the truth of it is... Well, I'm not normal anymore. (Roger and Trish exchange a look) I guess what I'm getting at is... - I-I missed you both so bad. But - I belong here. (Turns to the gang) Un-unless I don't. Which if- if you all don't wanna put up with me, I completely understand..." Wes: "Lets put it to a vote, shall we? All in favor say aye. Aye. Motion passed. Good. You're staying." The gang smile at each other, then turn to smile at Fred. Fred: "Mamma. - Daddy. This is my life now." Trish: "We were kinda hoping you wouldn't figure that out." Roger: "Of course we'd have to sick around for another couple of weeks." Fred leans against him: "Daddy!" Roger laughs: "Days. You know, just to catch up and get reacquainted, and to make *sure* that you are positive about your decision." Fred: "Oh, I think I know where I'll end up." Hyperion day. Fred and Angel have paint rollers in their hand and are painting over the walls in Fred's room. Roger: "Now, Spiro Agnew, I *know* he was..." Angel: "A Grathnar demon! You knew that? I thought I was the only one that knew that!" Roger: "What else would he be, but a demon?" Wes comes in carrying another can of paint. Sees Gunn painting the wall. Wes: "Not horizontally, vertically! Other wise you..." Gunn: "Look, I'm telling you, if you do it vertically you're gonna get those ugly drops..." Trish also painting: "Now, boys, I don't wanna hear any fighting over there." Gunn and Wes: "Okay." Cordy comes in, carrying two pizza boxes. Cordy: "Did someone here order a pizza? Hey Fred? Pizza?" Fred walking to anther part of the wall: "In a minute, I just wanna finish this section." Fred looks at a line drawing of two people on top of a horse for a moment, then lifts her paint roller and paints over it

Fred's parents show up in LA and Team Angel is instantly suspicious of them. They seem a little too... Normal. Fred hiding from her family and has run off. In order to find her again, Team Angel and the Burkles will have to work together. They'll also have to battle some demons and pay a visit to Lorne. And Fred will have to decide where she really belongs now.

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_13x26

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_13x26_0

THE SEEDS OF DOOM BY ROBERT BANKS STEWART PART SIX 6:45pm - 7:10pm [SCENE_BREAK] BERESFORD: Laser, quick. Let him have it. Fire! [SCENE_BREAK] HENDERSON: The Major! [SCENE_BREAK] BERESFORD: And another. Fire! [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: The other door. Come on! [SCENE_BREAK] BERESFORD: Hit it square in the chest. Fire! Fire! Fire! BERESFORD: Come on, out. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: We've got to find Chase before he has another attack of megalomania. Krynoid on the outside, a madman lurking inside, not a happy situation. SARAH: Do you think he's counting on the Krynoid sparing him, if, well, if he sacrifices us? HENDERSON: Well, Major Beresford did do his best, even if it was like using a peashooter DOCTOR: Shush, shush, shush. I think we've been wrong about Chase up till now. HENDERSON: What are you on about? DOCTOR: Will you just shut up a minute, please? You said Chase went outside and actually took photographs of the Krynoid, and came in apparently unharmed. Unharmed? SARAH: You mean he's actually infected? DOCTOR: Or possessed. [SCENE_BREAK] BERESFORD: Come on, quick, come on! [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: You and Henderson take that corridor. Sarah and I will go this way. [SCENE_BREAK] CHASE: Filth. [SCENE_BREAK] SARAH: (quietly) Doctor, maybe he's not in the house. DOCTOR: I doubt that. HENDERSON: Doctor, there's creeper breaking through into the corridor. DOCTOR: Where's Scorby? HENDERSON: He's back in the main lab. DOCTOR: Come on, let's join him there. [SCENE_BREAK] THACKERAY: What happened? BERESFORD: We've had to pull back. The laser's hopeless against it. THACKERAY: And you haven't made contact with the Doctor? BERESFORD: No, not yet, but I'm going to try and get through with a couple of men. [SCENE_BREAK] SCORBY: It's like we're under siege. HENDERSON: Here, do your best. I'll go and see if I can get some more timber. DOCTOR: Yes, you go and do that. SCORBY: It's trying its luck on the east wing now. I still say we make a break for it. DOCTOR: Oh Scorby, just think about what we're up against. Everything that grows in the ground is your enemy. You wouldn't get far. SCORBY: So what are we supposed to do? Wait here until the Krynoid reduces this place to rubble? SARAH: Don't be so negative. Major Beresford's going to come up with something. SCORBY: Oh yeah. That laser gun was useless, wasn't it. Look, I've never relied on anybody, just myself. I've always got myself out of trouble. Africa, the Middle East, you name it. I've not been a mercenary for nothing. I'm a survivor, right? DOCTOR: Hmm? Scorby, bullets and bombs aren't the answer to everything. SCORBY: What are we going to do? SARAH: Oh, just shut up, will you? We're all in the same boat. SCORBY: And where's your precious Beresford? I suppose he's dropped everything and run, has he? DOCTOR: No more than you would, Scorby. SARAH: (looking out of the window.) It's coming back this way, Doctor. Any hope yet? DOCTOR: Oh yes. Chase didn't do any irreparable damage. I think I can fix this. SARAH: Well done. SCORBY: Oh yeah. Well done Doctor. Why are you bothering? It's obvious your army friends have scarpered. I'd have done the same if I'd been out there. We're as dead as mutton, you realise? RIP. It's ridiculous, isn't it. DOCTOR: Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Scorby. It'll become a habit. DOCTOR: No, Scorby, don't! Don't go, Scorby, you won't make it! SARAH: What's that? DOCTOR: Probably the plants have got into the humidity system. SARAH: Well, that means the water could boil up and blow suddenly. DOCTOR: It's possible. SARAH: Oh, great. That's all we need. A scalding shower. DOCTOR: Ah. Henderson. Sergeant Henderson? SARAH: He's not back yet. DOCTOR: You go and get him. SARAH: Right. DOCTOR: Tell him I need Beresford's wavelength. [SCENE_BREAK] SARAH: Sergeant? Sergeant? Sergeant? [SCENE_BREAK] SARAH: Sergeant? Sergeant? CHASE: The sergeant's no longer with us. He's in the garden. He's part of the garden. SARAH: That's very clever of you. CHASE: Don't humour me, Miss Smith. We're helping the plant world, the sergeant and I. In different ways, of course. I've become part of a life that I've always admired for its beauty, colours, sensitivity. I have the Krynoid to thank, as it thanks me for its opportunity to exist here on Earth. Soon the Krynoids will dominate everywhere, and your foul species will disappear. SARAH: And you'll all flower happily ever after. CHASE: You and your kind are nothing but parasites. You're dependant upon us for the air you breathe and the food you eat. We have only one use for you. [SCENE_BREAK] BERESFORD: This is Scorpio section. I say again, this is Scorpio section. Are you receiving me? Over. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Hello, Beresford, this is the Doctor. I can hear you. Over. BERESFORD (OOV.): Great. What's your situation, Doctor? DOCTOR: Desperate. We're trapped. What action are you taking against the Krynoid? BERESFORD (OOV.): The laser had no effect. Frankly, we're stuck for an answer. DOCTOR: Listen, Beresford. By my reckoning you've got about before the Krynoid reaches the point of primary germination. [SCENE_BREAK] BERESFORD: What's he mean? THACKERAY: Give me that. Doctor, Thackeray here. What do you mean by primary germination? DOCTOR (OOV.): I mean the Krynoid is about to eject hundreds of embryo pods. The whole planet will be doomed. THACKERAY: How can we stop it? DOCTOR (OOV.): There's only one way, Sir Colin. A low level attack by aircraft with high explosives. THACKERAY: But that'll mean destroying the house too. What about you and the others? [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Never mind us. Order that attack, it's your only chance. Out. [SCENE_BREAK] RAF (OOV.): I'll be with you in figures three minutes. Over. BERESFORD: Roger, Red Leader. Out. BERESFORD: Well, the planes are on their way. Three minutes. THACKERAY: Is there no way we can get them out? BERESFORD: Not a chance. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Quick, Sarah, the button. The button! SARAH: I can't DOCTOR: Sarah, I tried to save him. He was trying to pull me in. [SCENE_BREAK] BERESFORD: That was a sighting run. Scorpio section to Red Leader. Over. RAF (OOV.): Red Leader section. We see your target. We're turning to attack now. Over. BERESFORD: Understood. Good luck. Out. THACKERAY: Still no sign of the Doctor. BERESFORD: Afraid not. RAF (OOV.): ... again. Let's turn it into chop suey. [SCENE_BREAK] SARAH: Where do we go? We've a Krynoid outside, steam inside, bombs overhead. DOCTOR: Steam. Steam! DOCTOR: Stand by that door, Sarah. SARAH: Right. DOCTOR: When I say. Come on, come on. DOCTOR: Now! DOCTOR: Come on! [SCENE_BREAK] THACKERAY: Well, Doctor, do you think we've heard the last of the Krynoid? DOCTOR: Sir Colin, the Intergalactic Floral Society, of which quite naturally I'm the President, finds Krynoids a difficult subject to study. Their researchers tend to disappear. SARAH: Hmm, I can imagine. A case of one veg and no meat. THACKERAY: Very neat, Miss Smith. SARAH: Sorry about that. THACKERAY: And talking of societies, Doctor, the Royal Horticultural Society's got wind of this affair. They'd rather like you to address one of their meetings. DOCTOR: Really? When? THACKERAY: I think they suggested the fifteenth. DOCTOR: Fifteenth, fifteenth. No, impossible. I'm fully booked for the next two centuries, but any time after that. THACKERAY: Doctor, I don't know when you're being serious. SARAH: I know just how you feel, Sir Colin. DOCTOR: Have you ever heard of Cassiopeia? SARAH: Animal, vegetable or mineral? DOCTOR: It's a good place for a holiday. We need a break. Come on. SARAH: Oh, great! DOCTOR: Sir Colin, do you fancy a little excursion? THACKERAY: I'd be delighted, but my wife's expecting me home for tea. [SCENE_BREAK] SARAH: Ah, this isn't Cassiopeia. DOCTOR: It's Antarctica. SARAH: We're back where we started! DOCTOR: Yes. SARAH: We won't get a suntan here. DOCTOR: No. SARAH: You forgot to cancel the coordinate programme, didn't you. DOCTOR: Yes. SARAH: Shall we try again? DOCTOR: Yes. Just a minute. SARAH: What? DOCTOR: Have we been here before, or BOTH: Are we yet to come?

Chase is obviously under Krynoid control. The Doctor suspects possession but, with the mountainous Krynoid nearing maturity and whacking the mansion to pieces, he concerns himself with the bigger picture and orders the mansion - with Sarah and him still inside - to be bombed.

fd_Game_of_Thrones_06x06

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(theme music playing) (grunting) (voices whispering) (screeches) (Meera grunting) (groans) (panting) (grunting) (cawing) Burn them all! Where's my sister? (groans) (caws) Aerys: Burn them all! (Meera panting) (shouts, panting) (grunts) (sobbing) (murmuring) Please. Aerys: Burn them. Burn them all! (wights shrieking) Aerys: Burn them all! [SCENE_BREAK] [ TITLE SEQUENCE ] [SCENE_BREAK] [ EXT. BEYOND THE WALL ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Heavy snow is falling. MEERA is dragging BRAN's sledge through the forest. BRAN's eyes are glazed white. He experiences many visions of the past all at once. MEERA staggers and falls against the base of a tree. She puts all her weight into pulling the sledge, but it does not budge. She begins crying and goes to BRAN, cradling his head. BRAN continues to have rapid fire visions, then sees a group of wights running through the woods. He wakes up from the visions and looks at MEERA.) Bran: Meera. They found us. (MEERA looks out into the woods and sees the group of wights. She begins crying and embraces BRAN.) Meera: I'm so sorry. (The wights converge on MEERA and BRAN. Moments before they reach them, a cloaked rider appears. The rider's horse kicks one of the wights out of the way, then the rider extends a chain which lights on fire at the end. Two wights charge, and the rider hits them both with the chain, setting them on fire. A third wight tries to attack his horse, but the horse's bulk rebuffs it into a tree and it crumbles. The rider plunges a chain-sickle into the chest of another wight, then rides forward, dragging the wight behind his horse. He sets another wight on fire with the chain, launching it into the air, and then approaches BRAN and MEERA.) Rider: Come with me, now. (A large group of wights approaches.) Rider: The dead don't rest. (The rider leans down and hoists BRAN up onto his horse. MEERA takes the rider's hand and joins them on the horse's back. The three of them ride off into the forest with wights in pursuit.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ EXT. ROAD TO HORN HILL ] [SCENE_BREAK] (SAM, GILLY, and LITTLE SAMare riding in a carriage escorted by several soldiers. GILLY looks out the window. SAM is holding LITTLE SAM.) Gilly: It's so green. Sam: Oh, yes. Once you get south of the Riverlands, very different sorts of trees start to take over. Maple, elm, beech, poplar. The odd willow. And of course now that summer's over, you'll start seeing the autumn colors coming in. Still, you'll find more green here than anywhere else. Gilly: You're nervous. You're a nervous talker. (SAM looks away.) Gilly: That's not any better being a nervous mute. Sam: I didn't think I'd ever come back here after my father made me renounce my title and inheritance and, well, threaten to kill me if I didn't. A person just doesn't feel welcome at that point. (GILLY looks at LITTLE SAM.) Sam: And I certainly didn't expect to be introducing him to my family. So you know what to tell them. Gilly: That Little Sam is your baby. Sam: Yes, now that's very important. If he thinks that Little Sam is his grandchild, he'll take you in. He'll get an education. He'll learn to read. And you can help teach him. Huh? Gilly: What did you tell your family about me? Sam: I told them I met you in the North. Gilly: Did you tell them how far north? Sam: Well, it wasn't a very large piece of parchment. Gilly: You didn't tell them where I'm really from? You didn't tell them I'm a wildling? Sam: The thing is...my father doesn't like wildlings. He hoped I'd make a man of myself by "killing some bloody wildlings," so it's probably a good subject to avoid if at all possible. (GILLY looks out the window.) Gilly: I think we're here. (SAM looks out the window. The carriage is approaching the castle on Horn Hill.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ CUT TO: HORN HILL - COURTYARD ] [SCENE_BREAK] (A party of guests is lined up at the entrance to the castle courtyard. GILLY and SAM enter. GILLY is carrying LITTLE SAM. SAM's mother, MELESS, and his sister, TALLA, descend a set of stairs and approach them.) Melessa: Sam. Oh, Sam. (SAM and MELESSA embrace.) Sam: Oh, hello, Mother. Melessa: I never thought I'd see you again. You look wonderful. Sam: Oh. (TALLA embraces SAM and he grunts.) Sam: Talla? Gods, you're a woman now. Talla: Father says I have to marry Symun Fossoway. He has yellow teeth-- Melessa: That's enough, Talla. Sam: Oh, um, Mother, this is Gilly. (GILLY bows her head and curtsies.) Melessa: Oh, my. You are lovely. Gilly: I am happy to know you, Lady Tarly. Sam: Oh, and this, this is our son Samwell. (MELESSA and TALLA smile at each other. MELESSA approaches the baby and smiles.) Melessa: Hello, little one. It's me, your grandmother. (LITTLE SAM smiles and touches MELESSA's face.) Melessa: May I hold him? Gilly: Yes, of course. (GILLY passes LITTLE SAM to MELESSA.) Melessa (to little Sam): You have a curious mind, I can tell. You'll be a scholar like your father. Sam: Where is Father? And Dickon? Melessa: They're on a hunt. They'll join us for dinner. Come inside. Such a journey. You must be exhausted. (MELESSA passes LITTLE SAM back to GILLY. SAM and MELESSA proceed up the steps. TALLA takes GILLY's arm and they follow.) Talla: Come, you'll be wanting a bath after all that travel. Oh, and a dress for dinner. You can wear one of mine. What's your color? Midnight blue or silver? Silver, maybe. Come. You can choose one of my bedrooms if you want. [SCENE_BREAK] [ INT. GREAT SEPT OF BAELOR ] [SCENE_BREAK] (TOMMEN and the HIGH SPARROW are standing in the central chamber. TOMMEN lights a candle.) Tommen: Is there no other way? High Sparrow: You're afraid for her? Tommen: Of course I'm afraid for her! It just seems very dangerous. High Sparrow: She'll be protected the entire way. The Faith Militant are very stern with those who overstep their bounds. And Queen Margaery isn't your mother. I suspect the gods will predispose the common people to gentleness on her behalf. She's truly opened her heart to them. Tommen: She's always been very devoted to the poor and the unfortunate. High Sparrow: And now she's devoted to the gods as well. Would you like to see her? [SCENE_BREAK] [ CUT TO: GREAT SEPT OF BAELOR - PRAYER ROOM ] [SCENE_BREAK] (MARGAERY is sitting on a bench reading a book. The door opens. TOMMEN and the HIGH SPARROW are visible outside. TOMMEN enters and stares at MARGAERY. The HIGH SPARROW closes the door behind TOMMEN. MARGAERY sets down her book and stands. They embrace.) Tommen: Have they hurt you? Have they mistreated you? Margaery: No, Your Grace. Tommen: I've missed you. More than you could know. Margaery: We'll be together again soon and everything will be better than it was before. Tommen: Better how? Soon the-- walk of atonement. He says there's no other way. Margaery: Have you spoken to him at all, the High Sparrow? Tommen: Yes, a few times. Have you? Margaery: Yes, I have. He's not quite what we thought he was, is he? (TOMMEN scrunches up his face. MARGAERY chuckles and turns away.) Margaery: You think I'm mad. I sound mad. Tommen: No. No, you don't. You-- you could never. You're right, he's not. He's a lot more-- Margaery: He is. There's something about him. His way of looking at the world. It's not an easy thing admitting to yourself what you really are. It's taken me a while. He's helped me. Tommen: What are you talking about? You're a good person. You've always been a good person. You're the best person I know. (MARGAERY chuckles and retrieves her book from the bench.) Tommen: I was just telling him about your devotion to the poor. Margaery: Ah, yes, I visited their hovels and I fed them soup and I made sure I was seen doing it. I never gave them what they really needed, though. I've had lots of time to think about how good I was at seeming good. All those stories I told myself about who I was and why I did the things I did. There were so many lies in those stories. Tommen: I don't understand. (MARGAERY rushes to TOMMEN and takes his hand.) Margaery: It's all right. It really is. It's such a relief to let go of those lies. (MARGAERY leads him to the bench and they sit down on it together.) Tommen: What about Loras? Margaery: I love my brother. I will always love my brother. His soul is pure and perfect. His sins don't erase that purity, they only obscure it. He just needs to atone for them. We all do. Sooner or later, one way or another. The gods have a plan for us all. [SCENE_BREAK] [ INT. HORN HILL - HALLWAY ] [SCENE_BREAK] (SAM paces. GILLY enters on the far end of the hall. She is wearing a dress and her hair is done up.) Gilly: It's hard to walk in this. Sam: It's beautiful. You're beautiful. (GILLY takes SAM's arm and they walk down the hall together.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ CUT TO: HORN HILL - DINING HALL ] [SCENE_BREAK] (SAM, GILLY, MELESSA, TALLA, DICKON, and RANDYLL are sitting around the dinner table eating. RANDYLL takes a bite and stares at SAM. GILLY looks around at others using their utensils and mimics them. SAM looks at DICKON.) Sam: This venison, it's very tasty. Is it from today's hunt? Dickon: Well, no. We haven't been able to cure that one yet. This is last week's. Sam: Oh, of course. Sorry. Long journey. Dickon: Brought it down from 70 yards. One shot. Sam: Oh, that's a fair distance. Dickon: So do you do much hunting up at the wall? Sam: Oh, yes. Yes. A good amount. North of the Wall, you don't hunt, you don't eat. Dickon: Mm-hmmm. Mostly deer or is it elk as well? Sam: Rabbits. Sometimes squirrels. I say "we," it's my friend Jon mostly. Sometimes Edd. Oh, and Gilly. She's-- she's quite a good hunter as well. Um, huntress. Melessa (to Gilly): I imagine it's common where you're from. We once met a man, Lord Umber from Last Hearth, wasn't it, Randyll, who said he taught all his daughters how to hunt. Talla: Your father taught you to hunt? Our father would never teach us. I think our father could learn a thing or two from your father. Randyll: That's enough of that. Melessa: Samwell, would you care for more bread? Sam: Oh, yes. Yes, please. Thank you, Mother. (A servant girl retrieves the basket of bread. She holds out the basket to SAM. SAM reaches for the bread.) Randyll: Not fat enough already? (SAM waves the servant away.) Sam: I travelled south under orders from the Lord Commander. He wants me to-- Randyll: I read your letter. You're to be a maester. Sam: Yes. And once I have my chain, I'll return to Castle Black. Randyll: I thought the Night's Watch might make a man of you. Something resembling a man at least. You managed to stay soft and fat. (SAM puts down his utensils.) Randyll: Your nose buried in books. Spending your life reading about the achievements of better men. I'll wager you still can't sit a horse or wield a sword. Melessa: Randyll, to be maester of the Night's Watch is a great honor. Gilly: He can wield a sword. He killed a Thenn. He killed a White Walker. (DICKON laughs.) Dickon: There's no such thing. Gilly: I saw it with my own eyes on our way down to Castle Black. He drove a dagger into the walker's heart. He risked his own life to save mine more than once. He's a greater warrior than either of you will ever be. Randyll: Your way down to Castle Black? Where did he kill a white walker? Where are you from? How'd you come to meet my son? Gilly: The Night's Watch came to our keep. Randyll: Where? Sam: Gilly. Gilly: North of the Wall. Randyll: North of the Wall? You're a Wildling. The Seven Kingdoms have waged war against these savages for centuries and here I sit hosting one in my hall thanks to my son. See that sword? (RANDYLL points to a blade mounted on a mantle beside the table.) Randyll: It's called Heartsbane. It's been in our family for 500 years. It's Valyrian steel. Only a handful of them left in the world. It's supposed to go to my firstborn son after I die. To him. He will never wield that sword. If he were to become Lord Tarly of Horn Hill, it would be the end of this house. I took you for a Mole's Town whore when I saw you and I made my peace with that. Who else would have him? But I overestimated him. No. It was a wildling whore that seduced my son. This you getting back at me, boy? Hmm? Bring that to my table and making me dine with it. And you got what you were after, didn't you? A b*st*rd. A half-breed b*st*rd. Your invitation into our home. (MELESSA throws down her utensils and stands. She walks to GILLY.) Melessa: Come, my dear. Talla. (TALLA and GILLY stand and begin to follow MELESSA out of the hall.) Melessa: I've lost my appetite. Randyll: He dishonors us. Melessa: You dishonor yourself. Randyll (to Sam): Your mother's a fine woman. You're not worthy of her. To please her, I'll take the wildling in. She can work in the kitchens. The b*st*rd will be raised here. But this will be the last night you ever spend at Horn Hill. [SCENE_BREAK] [ CUT TO: HORN HILL - GILLY'S GUEST CHAMBER ] [SCENE_BREAK] (GILLY is sitting at the foot of the bed. LITTLE SAM is in a crib beside her. SAM stands before them both. He hangs his head.) Sam: I'm sorry I let him treat you that way. I was afraid he'd turn you and Little Sam away. Gilly: I'm not angry at you. I'm angry that horrible people can treat good people that way and get away with it. When do you have to go? Sam: First light. (LITTLE SAM fusses and reaches for SAM. SAM takes his hand.) Sam: Say good-bye to him for me. (SAM starts off but GILLY stands and gets in his way. She places her hands on his chest and kisses him.) Gilly: You're not what he thinks you are, Sam. He doesn't know what you are. Sam: Good-bye, Gilly. (SAM walks to the door. He turns back and stares at GILLY before closing the doors. GILLY looks around the guest chamber and then goes to LITTLE SAM. She pulls his blanket up higher and comforts him. SAM bursts back into the room.) Gilly: Sam? Sam: We're leaving. Gilly: What? Sam: Get your things. Gilly: I don't have any things. (SAM picks up LITTLE SAM.) Gilly: What are you doing? Sam: We belong together. All of us. [SCENE_BREAK] [ CUT TO: HORN HILL - DINING CHAMBER ] [SCENE_BREAK] (SAM and GILLY walk briskly through the hall. GILLY is carrying LITTLE SAM.) Gilly: What about your mother and sister? Sam: Oh, they'll understand. Gilly: Your sister's dress. (SAM grabs a stool and carries it in front of the mantle hosting Heartsbane.) Sam: She won't mind. Looks better on you anyway. (SAM climbs on top of the stool.) Gilly: Sam. That's your father's sword. (SAM lifts Heartsbane off the mantle. He groans and slides it into its scabbard.) Sam: It's my family's sword. Gilly: Sam. Won't he come for it? Sam: He can bloody well try. (SAM hops down off the stool.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ EXT. BRAAVOS - SHEELBA SQUARE ] [SCENE_BREAK] (The acting troupe is putting on a repeat performance of) The Bloody Hand, ( their play about the happenings of Westerosi royalty. AYRA is standing in the crowd in the front row. On stage is CLORENZO portraying JOFFREY, an actress portraying MARGAERY, BIANCA portraying SANSA, BOBONO portraying TYRION, and LADY CRANE portraying CERSEI. CLORENZO is at center stage, brandishing a prop sword.) Clarenzo: The lion and the rose are one. I thank the gods above. (The actress portraying MARGAERY runs to CLARENZO.) Clarenzo: And to you, my beauteous bridge, I pledge undying love. All: Hail King Joffrey. Hail Queen Margaery. Clarenzo: I'll drink a toast to my new queen, for there is no one fairer. Dear Uncle, will you share my joy and be my royal cupbearer? (BOBONO approaches CLARENZO and hands him a prop cup.) Bobono: Drink long and deep, my noble king, from this cup of sweet wine. (CLARNEZO takes the prop cup and BOBONO walks to center stage, addressing the audience.) Bobono: The last drink he shall ever take. And vengeance shall be mine. (BOBONO laughs and the audience boos. CLARENZO takes a sip from the prop cup, then gags and sputters. The audience gasps. He moves to center stage.) Clarenzo: Poison! Murder! I gasp. I-- I die. (ARYA smiles and laughs in the crowd.) Clarenzo: I limp. And it was he... (CLARENZO points at BOBONO. BOBONO holds up a prop vial of poison. The audience gasps and boos.) Clarenzo: ...that poisoned me. My evil Uncle Imp. (BOBONO laughs and exits with BIANCA. The audience boos. CLARENZO collapses and LADY CRANE kneels down beside him. ARYA laughs. LADY CRANE cradles the head of the actor portraying JOFFREY.) Lady Crane: My firstborn son. My golden lion foully, falsely slain. I pray you found a lasting peace free from strife and pain. (ARYA's smile fades.) Lady Crane: Hear my prayer, O cruel gods. Take my life instead. For I cannot face another day when my sweet boy is dead. Oh, woe. Oh grief. (ARYA notices BIANCA standing offstage. BIANCA is watching LADY CRANE's performance and mouths her lines as she utters them.) Lady Crane: Oh, darkest day, my heart is full of sorrow. All hope is lost. All joy is gone. And there is no tomorrow. (LADY CRANE kisses CLARENZO's cheek and lays his head down. The audience claps. The actors clear out the stage and the prop men change the scene. BOBONO enters carrying a prop crossbow. IZEMBARO, portraying TYWIN, is sitting on a prop toilet.) Bobono: What is that I hear and smell? Someone I'll soon send to hell. (ARYA leaves the front row and moves through the crowd.) Bobono: It's time to see if truth they told who said Tywin Lannister sh1ts gold. (BOBONO pretends to shoot IZEMBARO with the crossbow. IZEMBARO cries out.) Izembaro: You beast. You beast. You killed my wife and now you've taken your father's life. [SCENE_BREAK] [ CUT TO: SHEELBA SQUARE BACKSTAGE ] [SCENE_BREAK] (ARYA enters and walks further inward. On her way through the entrance hall, she sees the prop head the performers use for NED's execution scene.) Izembaro (O.C.): No worse child ever stained this land. [SCENE_BREAK] [ CUT TO: SHEELBA SQUARE STAGE ] [SCENE_BREAK] Izembaro: Curse the day I named you. (IZEMBARO groans as though dying and turns to the side. The sound guy makes a farting noise.) Bobono: My greatest crime. Now I must flee. [SCENE_BREAK] [ CUT TO: SHEELBA SQUARE BACKSTAGE ] [SCENE_BREAK] (ARYA walks into the actor's break room.) Bobono (O.C.): Then sail across the Narrow Sea to do unto you more treachery. (ARYA draws the curtain and stares at LADY CRANE's bottle of rum.) Bobono (O.C.): Don't fear the winter. [SCENE_BREAK] [ CUT TO: SHEELBA SQUARE STAGE ] [SCENE_BREAK] Bobono: Fear me! (BOBONO shoots a prop arrow into the audience and laughs. The audience gasps and boos him offstage.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ CUT TO: SHEELBA SQUARE BACKSTAGE ] [SCENE_BREAK] Izembaro (O.C.): Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Bianca, Clarenzo. (ARYA retrieves a vial of from her satchel. She uncorks LADY CRANE's bottle of rum.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ CUT TO: SHEELBA SQUARE STAGE ] [SCENE_BREAK] (IZEMBARO, BIANCA, and CLARENZO stand center stage.) Izembaro: I give you Bobono. (BOBONO enters the stage and the audience boos.) Izembaro: I give you Camello. [SCENE_BREAK] [ CUT TO: SHEELBA SQUARE BACKSTAGE ] [SCENE_BREAK] (ARYA pours the contents of the vial into LADY CRANE's rum bottle and corks it.) Izembaro (O.C.): And last but not least, sweet Lady Crane. (On stage, LADY CRANE enters and bows. The crowd cheers wildly. AYRA hears the cheering. She tucks the away the vial, draws back the curtain, and exits the break room. The actors are all piling into the area. CAMELLO approaches ARYA in the entrance hallway and hands her his costume cloak.) Camello: Give this a good beating. Shake those fleas out. That's a dear. (IZEMBARO and BIANCA enter.) Izembaro (to Bianca): That crowd was sh1t. (ARYA walks past them and puts down the cloak. She moves to leave. LADY CRANE enters and sees her.) Lady Crane: Girl. (ARYA stops on the steps and looks at LADY CRANE.) Lady Crane: What are you doing back here? Arya: Nothing. Lady Crane: I saw you the other day in the audience. How many times have you seen this stupid play? Arya: Three times. Lady Crane: Did you pay? (ARYA smiles.) Arya: No. (ARYA walks off the steps to get out of the way of the prop men.) Lady Crane: I remember when the players came to my village. I didn't have any money, so I snuck in. Just like you. Saw the painted faces, the costumes, listened to the songs, cried when the young lovers died in each other's arms. I ran off and joined them the next day, never looked back. Arya: You're very good. Lady Crane: My final speech is sh1t. (LADY CRANE takes ARYA by the waist and ushers her towards the break room.) Lady Crane: But to be fair to myself, which I always like to be, the writing's no good. (They stop in a side corridor.) Arya: So change it. It would all just be farting, belching, and slapping without you. Lady Crane: How would you change it? Arya: The queen loves her son more than anything. And he was taken from her before she could say good-bye. She wouldn't just cry. She would be angry. She would want to kill the person who did this to her. Lady Crane: What's your name? Arya: Mercy. Lady Crane: You have very expressive eyes, Mercy. (ARYA smiles.) Lady Crane: Wonderful eyebrows. Do you like pretending to be other people? Arya: I have to go. My father's waiting for me. (ARYA exits. LADY CRANE enter the break room. BIANCA takes off her wig and notices LADY CRANE.) Bianca: Lady Crane, they loved you. (LADY CRANE removes her wig.) Lady Crane: They were sweet. Or drunk. Drunkenly sweet. Izembaro: No laugh for Ned's death. These people are worse than animals. (IZEMBARO sips from a mug and gestures to LADY CRANE.) Izembaro: But they loved her. They all love her. (CAMELLO removes his wig and approaches LADY CRANE.) Camello: Yes, you are adored by people and animals alike. Lady Crane: I do what I can with what I'm given. Izembaro: With what you're given? Lady Crane: Well, I was thinking-- Izembaro: Oh, we're all thinkers now, are we? (IZEMBARO stands, slaps his chest, and walks closer to LADY CRANE.) Izembaro: Full to the tits with ideas. Lady Crane: I didn't mean-- Izembaro: You have ideas, I have ideas, he has ideas. Why should my ideas have any more value than yours simply because I've been doing this my whole life? Who is anyone to judge my work? This is my profession. I know what I'm doing. (IZEMBARO removes his wig.) Izembaro: You have no right to an opinion. (LADY CRANE brings a glass of rum to her lips. Just before she drinks, ARYA appears and slaps the glass out of her hands. Everyone in the room stares at ARYA. ARYA points at BIANCA.) Arya: Careful of that one. She wants you dead. (ARYA exits. The WAIF is revealed to have been watching.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ CUT TO: HOUSE OF BLACK AND WHITE - OUTSIDE ] [SCENE_BREAK] (ARYA pulls the stones away from where she hid Needle. She pulls Needle from inside the rocks and stares at it.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ CUT TO: HOUSE OF BLACK AND WHITE - WASHING CHAMBER ] [SCENE_BREAK] (JAQEN is cutting the face of a corpse. The WAIF enters.) Jaqen: And? Waif: As I expected. Jaqen: A shame. A girl had many gifts. (JAQEN begins lifting the face off of the corpse.) Waif: You promised me. Jaqen: Don't let her suffer. (The WAIF nods and exits. JAQEN pulls the face from the corpse.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ CUT TO: UNKNOWN ALLEY ] [SCENE_BREAK] (ARYA sets down a lit candle and brandishes Needle. She places Needle on the ground, sits down beside it, and blows out the candle.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ EXT. KING'S LANDING ] [SCENE_BREAK] (JAIME is wearing armor and sitting atop a horse. He watches as MACE TYRELL, also wearing armor, leads a force of many soldiers down the street. MACE stops in front of JAIME and the soldiers halt.) Mace: My lord. Jaime: My lord. (MACE turns his horse to face the soldiers.) Mace: My friends, the hour has come. Madness has overtaken this city and grasped in its claws my children. But now we must drive it back under the rocks whence it came. Madness has had its day! (MACE turns his horse back the other way and nods at JAIME. JAIME nods back.) Captain: Forward, march! [SCENE_BREAK] [ CUT TO: GREAT SEPT OF BAELOR - STEPS ] [SCENE_BREAK] (The HIGH SPARROW is standing on the steps beside MARGAERY and SEPTA UNELLA.. They are surrounded by Faith Militant, including LANCEL. The HIGH SPARROW is addressing a large gathering of commoners who stand at the foot of the steps.) High Sparrow: Rich or poor, noble or common, if we win, we must atone. Margaery of House Tyrell came to us a sinner. She stood before the gods in the holy sept and lied. She turned a blind eye to her brother's sins. She disgraces her house, the king, and herself. (The crowd murmurs and parts. JAIME and MACE enter, leading the soldiers. MARGAERY gasps to herself. On the side, a smaller group of soldiers sets down a carriage. OLENNA steps out of the carriage.) Captain: Company, halt! Face front! Turn! (The soldiers form up and turn to face the steps.) High Sparrow: Lord Tyrell. (MACE nods at the HIGH SPARROW.) High Sparrow: Ser Jaime. Jaime: Sorry to interrupt. We're here for Queen Margaery and Ser Loras Tyrell. Give them to us and we'll be on our way. High Sparrow: I don't have the authority to give them to you. And you don't have the authority to take them. (The crowd murmurs. JAIME ushers his horse forward and rides it up the steps. He halts in front of the Faith Militant.) Captain: Lock spears! (The soldiers grunt and point their spears towards the Faith Militant.) Jaime: I speak for King Tommen of House Baratheon, First of His Name. High Sparrow: The gods don't recognize his authority in this matter. Jaime: You already insulted one great house. It won't happen twice. Every last sparrow will die before Margaery walks down that street. High Sparrow: To die in the service of the gods would please each and every one of us. We yearn for it. But there is no call for it today. There will be no walk of atonement. (The crowd murmurs. OLENNA motions to MACE with her fan. MACE motions to one of the high ranking soldiers, who nods to the Captain.) Captain: Order up! (The soldiers return to a relaxed position.) High Sparrow: Queen Margaery has already atoned for her sins by bringing another into the true light of the Seven. (The doors to the Great Sept of Baelor open. TOMMEN emerges, accompanied by the Kingsguard. The crowd murmurs. JAIME looks back at OLENNA, who looks down. TOMMEN and the Kingsguard walk down the steps until TOMMEN stands beside MARGAERY. TOMMEN takes MARGAERY's hand.) High Sparrow: Together we announce a new age of harmony. A holy alliance between the Crown and the Faith. (The crowd cheers.) Woman: Long live King Tommen and bless you, Queen Margaery! (TOMMEN looks at JAIME. JAIME shakes his head. TOMMEN looks at the crowd.) Tommen: The crown and the faith are the twin pillars upon which the world rests. Together we will restore the Seven Kingdoms to glory. (The crowd cheers.) Mace (to Olenna): What's happening? Olenna: He's beaten us. That's what's happening. (The HIGH SPARROW smiles at JAIME.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ CUT TO: RED KEEP - THRONE ROOM ] [SCENE_BREAK] (The room is lined with soldiers on either side. TOMMEN is sitting on the throne. KEVAN stands beside him. JAIME stands at the foot of the throne and removes his armor, letting it drop to the floor.) Tommen: When you attack the Faith, you attack the Crown. Anyone who attacks the Crown is unfit to serve as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard. Jaime: I've been a member of the Kingsguard since before you were born. You don't have to do this. You don't have to do anything. Tommen: I have to answer to the gods. Jaime: Not when you're sitting in that chair. Tommen: The Crown's decision on this matter is final. Jaime: Will I be walking naked in the streets? Or will I spend a few months in the sept dungeons first to teach me about the gods' mercy? (TOMMEN and KEVAN look at each other.) Tommen: You have served your house and your king faithfully for many years. And you will continue to do so. But not in this city. [SCENE_BREAK] [ THE CROSSING - DINING HALL ] [SCENE_BREAK] (WALDER FREY is sitting in a high chair addressing two of his sons, BLACK WALDER and LOTHAR. One of his young daughter stands beside him. Many other family members sit at the tables, eating.) Walder: You've lost it? Black Walder: Yes, father. Walder: It's a castle, not a bloody sheep. Presumably you still know where it is. You didn't lose Riverrun. You let the Blackfish take it from you. Lothar: He surprised us. He knows the castle better than anyone. Walder: You did lose the Blackfish after the Red Wedding. You had him right here in this hall and you let him leave. Then when I told you to hunt him down and kill him, you couldn't find him. That's what it means to lose something. Now he's come back and taken Riverrun. Black Walder: I don't think it's fair to blame us-- Walder: For 300 years we kissed Tully boots, swore oaths to them and their stinking fish banners. Not again. Riverrun is ours. Take it back. Black Walder: We don't have the men. Walder: We've got 10 times as many men as the damn Blackfish. Black Walder: The Mallisters have risen against us. And the Blackwoods. Lothar: The Brotherhood Without Banners is rallying the commoners against us, raiding our supply trains and camps. Black Walder: Riverrun can withstand a siege for a year. (WALDER slaps his daughter on on the buttocks.) Walder: If I want excuses, I'll put her in charge. They're laughing at us. All across the Riverlands right down to King's Landing, they're laughing at us. (WALDER stands. Many family members stare at him.) Walder: I hear it in my sleep! I'm not dead yet, unfortunately for you. And I'll not leave this world until they all choke on that laughter. Take that castle back. Lothar: He'll never yield, Father. Walder: Oh, he'll yield. (WALDER nods at some servants at the rear of the hall. LOTHAR looks back at the servants. The servants exit. WALDER points first at LOTHAR and then at BLACK WALDER.) Walder: You'll show him the knife you used to kill Robb Stark's child in his whore mother's belly, and you'll show him the knife you used to open his niece's throat. And you'll remind him who it was that got married at the Red Wedding in the first place. His nephew. (WALDER pulls his daughter into his lap. The servants return, ushering in a man bound in chains. They undo his chains. The man is EDMURE TULLY. EDMURE stares at WALDER.) Walder: Cheer up, Lord Edmure. You're going home. [SCENE_BREAK] [ INT. RED KEEP - CERSEI'S CHAMBER ] [SCENE_BREAK] (JAIME and CERSEI are sitting in chairs across the room from each other.) Jaime: I'm being sent to deal with the Blackfish. Apparently Walder Frey can't manage it on his own because he's 400 years old. Sent me with an army to the Riverlands and a siege that could last months. (JAIME stands and paces.) Cersei: BEtter you're elsewhere at the head of an army than in the sept dungeons. Jaime: I'm not going to the Riverlands. (JAIME pours himself a cup of wine.) Cersei: What, then? Jaime: I'm going to give Bronn the largest bag of gold anyone's ever seen and have him gather the best killers he knows. I'll take them to the sept and I'll remove the High Sparrow's head and every other sparrow head I can find. Cersei: You can't. Jaime: He has our son! He stole our son! He's torn our family apart. How should we treat people who tear us apart? Cersei: We should treat them without mercy and we will. But if you kill the High Sparrow, you won't leave the sept alive. And without you, this is all for nothing. Stand at the head of our army where you belong, where Father wanted you. Show our men where their loyalties belong. Show them what lannisters are, what we do to our enemies. And take that stupid little castle back because it's ours and because you can. Jaime: You'll stand trial soon. I need to he here for you. Cersei: It will be a trial by combat. I have the Mountain. They've made us both stronger, all of them. (CERSEI stands and approaches JAIME.) Cersei: They have no idea how strong we are. No idea what we're going to do to them. (JAIME and CERSEI embrace and kiss. CERSEI whispers into JAIME's ear.) Cersei: We've always been together. We'll always be together. We're the only two people in the world. (They resume kissing.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ EXT. BEYOND THE WALL ] [SCENE_BREAK] (MEERA, BRAN, and the rider are gathered around a campfire. The rider beheads a rabbit and begins draining its blood. MEERA watches him.) Meera: Why did you help us? (The rider looks at MEERA from behind his face mask.) Rider: The Three-Eyed Raven sent for me. Meera: The Three-Eyed Raven's dead. Rider: Now he lives again. (BRAN startles as he comes out of a vision. MEERA goes to him.) Rider (to Bran): When I last saw you, you were a boy. A fearless boy. Loved to climb the castle walls, frighten his mother. Bran: Who are you? (The rider removes his hood and face mask. He is BENJEN STARK. His skin is gray and he has blemishes on his face.) Bran: Uncle Benjen. The last letter Jon wrote me said you had been lost beyond the Wall. Benjen: I led a ranging party deep into the North to find White Walkers. They found us. A white walker stabbed me in the gut with a sword of ice. Left me there to die. To turn. The Children found me. Stopped the walker's magic from taking hold. Bran: How? Benjen: The same way they made the Walkers in the first place. You saw it yourself. Bran: Dragonglass. A shard of dragonglass plunged into your heart. Benjen: You are the Three-Eyed Raven now. Bran: I didn't have time to learn. I can't control anything. (BENJEN stands and walks over to BRAN and MEERA.) Benjen: You must learn to control it before the Night King comes. (BENJEN kneels beside BRAN and offers him a cup.) Benjen: Drink. (BRAN takes the cup and drinks.) Benjen: One way or another, he will find his way to the world of men. When he does, you will be there waiting for him. And you will be ready. [SCENE_BREAK] [ EXT. ESSOS ARID LANDS ] [SCENE_BREAK] (DAENERYS and DAARIO are leading the Dothraki horde on horseback. DAARIO shouts in Dothraki and raises his hand, halting the horde. DAENERYS stares at the face of a mountain crag in the distance.) Daario: Everything all right? Daenerys: How many days' ride to Meereen? Daario: A week at best. Daenerys: How many ships will I need to bring my khalasar to Westeros? Daario: Dothraki and all their horses, the Unsullied, the Second Sons-- 1,000 ships easily. Probably more. Daenerys: And who has that many? Daario: Nobody. Daenerys: Nobody yet. Daario: So we ride for Meereen and after that we sail for Westeros. What then? Daenerys: I take what is mine. Daario: You weren't made to sit on a chair in a palance. Daenerys: What was I made for? Daario: You're a conqueror, Daenerys Stormborn. (The wind howls. DAENERYS stares beyond the mountain crag) Daenerys: Wait here. (DAENERYS rides away from the horde and around the bend. Time passes. The Dothraki are growing antsy.) Daario (speaking Dothraki): I'm going after her. Wait for me here. (DAARIO starts off, but stops when a dragon's roar erupts from the sky. The Dothraki look around. The shadow of a dragon appears on the mountainside. DROGON flies over the Dothraki horde with DAENERYS on its back. DROGON circles around and lands in front of the horde. He roars.) Daenerys (speaking Dothraki): Every khal who ever lived chose three blood riders to fight beside him and guard his way. But I am not a khal. I will not choose three blood riders. I choose you all. (The Dothraki cheer.) Daenerys (speaking Dothraki): I will ask more of you than any khal has ever asked of his khalassar! Will you ride the wooden horses across the black salt sea? (The Dothraki cheer.) Daenerys: Will you kill my enemies in their iron suits and tear down their stone houses? (The Dothraki cheer.) Daenerys: Will you give me the Seven Kingdoms, the gift Khal Drogo promised me before the Mother of Mountains? (The Dothraki cheer.) Daenerys: Are you with me? (The Dothraki continue to cheer.) Daenerys: Now and always? (DROGON spreads his wings and roars.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ CREDITS ]

Meera escapes the cave with Bran, who is immersed in the Three-Eyed Raven's transferred visions. In the forest, the wights attack, but a man on horseback saves them. At stately Horn Hill, Sam's father, Randyll , demeans Sam as a soft bookworm and rejects Gilly for being a Wildling. That night, Sam takes House Tarly's ancestral Valyrian steel sword, Heartsbane, and leaves with Gilly and Little Sam. Arya warns Lady Crane of her planned assassination, then retrieves Needle. H'ghar allows the Waif to find and kill Arya. Jaime attempts to rescue Margaery from the Faith Militant, only to find she has repented and Tommen has forged an alliance with the Faith. Tommen forbids Jaime to serve as a King's Guard in King's Landing and orders him to aid Walder Frey , who is holding Edmure Tully hostage, to retake Riverrun from Brynden Tully. Benjen Stark , the man who saved Meera and Brandon, says he was turned by the White Walkers but later unturned by the Children using Dragonglass. Daenerys mounts Drogon and gives a rousing speech inspiring the Dothraki to cross the Narrow Sea and conquer Westeros for her.

fd_Doctor_Who_08x12

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Clara: Danny Pink... is dead. The Doctor: We're here to get your boyfriend back from the dead. Those are tombs. Water tombs. Why would anyone go to so much trouble? Seb: You're dead and... and this is what's next. The Doctor: A Gallifreyan hard drive. Time Lord technology. Missy: Do you know the key strategic weakness of the human race? The dead outnumber the living. The Doctor: Who are you? Missy: Oh, you know who I am. I'm Missy. I couldn't very well keep calling myself The Master, now - could I? [SCENE_BREAK] [ Chang's Office ] Clara: Stop! You can't kill me. Cyber-Skarosa: Incorrect. Clara: I'm a target of strategic value. Alive, I'm a tactical advantage. Dead, I'm your biggest mistake. You don't know who I am. Cyber-Skarosa: You are Clara Oswald. You are human. You are unimportant. Clara: Incorrect. You see, that is what you're supposed to think. That is what everybody thinks. Cyber-Skarosa: You are Clara Oswald. Clara: Clara Oswald is a cover story, a disguise. There is no Clara Oswald. Cyber-Skarosa: Identify. Clara: Oh, don't be so slow, it's embarrassing. Who could fool you like this? Who could hide right under your nose? Who could change their face any time they want? Hmm. You see, I'm not Clara Oswald. Clara Oswald has never existed. Cyber-Skarosa: Identify. Clara: I'm the Doctor. ( Doctor Who theme plays ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ St. Peter's Hill ] Missy: Look at them! My boys. The Doctor: Cybermen in broad daylight? You think people won't notice? Missy: Photos with the big metal men, one pound. Missy: Oh, honey! Boy: There you go. Girl: Oh, cool. Cool! Missy: New York. Paris. Rome. Marrakesh. Brisbane. Glasgow. Everywhere. Anywhere. Me and my boys. We're going viral. Osgood: Would you like me to take a picture? Sorry, selfies are never as good, are they? And you're having a lovely moment. Hang on! Missy: No, just... The Doctor: Nice bow tie. Osgood: Bow ties are cool. Big smiles, and now! Soldiers: Move, move, move! Stand by. Surround target. Hold back! Kate: Afternoon. You've picked a lovely day for it. My, don't you look shiny. Haircut? The Doctor: Bit of a trim. Kate: Might want to do your roots. The woman. Soldier: Yes, ma'am. Kate: Kate Stewart. Divorcee, mother of two, keen gardener, outstanding bridge player. Also Chief Scientific Officer, Unified Intelligence Taskforce, who currently have you surrounded. Cyberman: Human weaponry is not effective against Cyber technology. Kate: Sorry, you left this behind on one of your previous attempts. Kate: So now that I have your attention, welcome to the only planet in the universe where we get to say this. He's on the payroll. The Doctor: Am I? Kate: Well, technically. The Doctor: How much? Kate: Shush. Any questions? Soldier: Back, back, everyone, back! ( metallic hissing ) ( whooshing ) Osgood: Oh, my God! Is it supposed to do that? Is that new? The Doctor: A sun roof on Saint Paul's? Yes, I'd say that was new. Kate: There's going to be mass panic. Everyone in London can see that. The Doctor: Everyone in London just clapped and went whee. Hush, I'm trying to count. Osgood: 87, I think. OCD. Missy: 91. Queen of evil. Kate: How could Saint Paul's be full of 91 Cybermen and nobody noticed? The Doctor: Dimensional engineering. One space folded inside another. Bigger on the inside. Easy if you're a Time Lord. Osgood: Mostly deploying south, a smaller number east. The Doctor: Yep, but one straight up. Osgood: So 91 isn't a coincidence? The Doctor: Of course it isn't. Kate: Osgood? 91. Explain. Osgood: 91 areas of significant population density in the British Isles. The Doctor: That's one Cyberman for every city and major town. It's happening everywhere, all over the world, right now. Missy: Sweet planet, this. I think I might keep it. Kate: One Cyberman per city. What could they hope to accomplish? Osgood: Doctor! ( explosion ) Kate: Has it exploded? Missy: More than that. Cybermen don't just blow themselves up for no good reason, dear; they're not human. The Doctor: If it's not exploding, what's it doing? Missy: Pollinating. Falling like rain into the cracks of the Earth. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Veranda ] ( electrical fizzing and buzzing ) Seb: Well, this is a bit exciting! Danny: What's happening? Seb: Well, to cut a long story short, it looks like we might all be going home. Danny: Home? From the afterlife? Seb: Well, when I said "afterlife", I was being a tiny bit poetic. And Nethersphere's just a cool name we come up with during a spit-ball. Danny: What is this place? Seb: Well, you have to think of it as a data cloud. You know, for storing data. In this case, it's the storage of recently deceased minds. Danny: We're in a cloud? Seb: A sort of cloud, yeah. Danny: And what's happening to it? Seb: What happens to any cloud when it starts to rain. Danny: Are you telling me we're going back? What, back to our bodies? Seb: And the extra good news is, there's been a bit of an upgrade. [SCENE_BREAK] [ St. Peter's Hill ] Missy: The dead are coming home, Doctor. All shiny and new. In 24 hours the human race as you know it will cease to exist. The Doctor: What are you doing? Explain. Tell me now. Missy: Oh! That was nice. Must do it again. The Doctor: No. No, no, no, no, I need to talk to her! I need her awake. The Doctor: Argh! No. No, no. Stupid. Stupid! No, no. Argh! Kate: The first protocol is implemented. We're good to go. Osgood: You just have to let it take you. ( siren wails in distance ) Kate: What did he say? Osgood: He said, "Guard the graveyards". [SCENE_BREAK] [ Cemetery ] ( thunderclap ) Teenage Boy: That's weird. Look at that. ( thunder rumbles ) Teenage Boy: How come it's only raining inside the graveyard? [SCENE_BREAK] [ Chaplet Funeral Home ] ( dramatic music ) ( music climaxes ) News Report: We are being told that these metal men are known as Cybermen, but unlike the accounts we have on file, they now have the ability to fly. Similar reports are coming in from all over the world. Flying Cybermen are here on a global scale. Ministers are telling us... ( splashing ) .. to remain calm. 'These Cybermen don't seem to be attacking us, at least not in any conventional fashion. Eyewitnesses have reported seeing them flying into the sky... ( news report continues faintly ) ( banging ) Graham: Hello? Hello? [SCENE_BREAK] [ Hangar ] ( banging ) ( electrical whirring ) Agh! ( indistinct voices ) Man: Right. Be careful with it. Be careful. Take your time. The Doctor: Kate? What's with the handcuffs? Kate: I'm sorry. In the event of an alien incursion on this scale, protocols are in place. Your co-operation is to be ensured and your unreliability assumed. You have a history. The Doctor: You don't have a future without me. Do you think your father would've done this? Kate: We both know he absolutely would. Kate: Who is she? The Doctor: Long story. Where's Clara? Kate: Clara Oswald, your assistant? The Doctor: My friend. She was with me in Saint Paul's. Kate: The team's still on site but they've been unable to gain access to the building. The Doctor: I want her found and brought here. I need her with me. Kate: Then give the order. As soon as you're on board Boat One your word is law. Quite literally. The Doctor: You got the TARDIS out, though? Kate: Yes, and Saint Paul's locked down. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Main Cabin ] The Doctor: Where are we going? Cloudbase? Kate: You mean the Valiant? Osgood: Cloudbase was Thunderbirds. Kate: Too conspicuous. We need your location concealed, not advertised. From now on you're a moving target. The Doctor: Ah, I see you're bringing Daddy along, too. That's very sweet. Ahmed: Sir. The Doctor: Oh, don't do that. You look like you're self-concussing, which would explain all of military history, now I think about it. Ahmed: Colonel Ahmed, sir. Privileged to meet you. The Doctor: Love your outfit, Colonel Ahmed. Are you in the Scouts? Are you a Man Scout? I didn't know they had those. Ahmed: It was Captain Scarlet. Osgood: Sorry? Ahmed: Not Thunderbirds. Osgood: Oh God, so it was, The Doctor: My confidence is growing every minute. Kate: The President is on board. The Doctor: Mind you, me and Sylvia Anderson, you've never seen a foxtrot like it. Hang on a second. The President? We don't want Americans bobbing around the place. They'll only start praying. Ahmed: Not the President of America, sir. The President of Earth. The Doctor: There isn't one. Ahmed: There is now. Kate: The incursion protocols have been agreed internationally. In the event of full-scale invasion, an Earth President is inducted immediately, with complete authority over every nation state. There was only one practical candidate. The Doctor: That's your answer for everything, isn't it? Vote for an idiot. Kate: If you say so, Mister President. So long as you're on this plane, you're the Commander in Chief of every army on Earth. Every world leader is currently awaiting your instructions. You are the Chief Executive Officer of the human race. Any questions? Captain (O.C.): This is your captain speaking. Please prepare for take-off. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Gallery ] Clara: Well, gentlemen. Where to start? I was born on the planet Gallifrey, in the constellation of Kasterborous. I'm a Time Lord, but my Prydonian privileges were revoked when I stole a time capsule and ran away. Currently pilot a Type 40 TARDIS. I've been married four times, all deceased. My children and grandchildren are missing, and I assume, dead. I have a non-Gallifreyan daughter created via genetic transfer. How much more do you need? I'm the Doctor. Cyber-Skarosa: This information is not proof. We require proof. Clara: How about my name? Cyber-Skarosa: Explain. Clara: Well, my name isn't Doctor, is it? I don't even really have a doctorate. Well, Glasgow University, but then I accidentally graduated in the wrong century, so technically... Cyber-Skarosa: This information cannot be confirmed. Cyberman: You are Clara Oswald. Clara: Ah, no. I'm not! Cyberman: Your deception is intended to prolong your life. Cyber-Skarosa: Your presence has not been ordered. Cyberman: Correct. You are Clara Oswald. Clara: Oh, seriously, this is getting old. Look, there is no Clara Oswald. I invented her. I made her up. Cyberman: Born 23rd November, 1986. Clara: Yeah, I chose that date. Always liked it. Cyberman: Father: David James Oswald. Mother: Elena Alison Oswald. Clara: Stories. Stories. Stories. I made them up. Look, ask anybody who knows me. I am an incredible liar. Cyberman: Correct. Cyber-Skarosa: No order was given. Cyberman: Correct. Cyber-Skarosa: You are not under Cyber control. Cyberman: Correct. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Cargo Hold ] The Doctor: Why are you still alive? Missy: You saved me. The Doctor: I saved Gallifrey. Missy: Yes, Gallifrey too, I suppose. There's always collateral damage with you and me. It's our Paris. The Doctor: Gallifrey's lost in another dimension. Missy: Yes and no. The Doctor: Meaning? Missy: Yes, it's in another dimension. No, it's not lost. The Doctor: You know where it is? Missy: Yep! You know the best part about knowing? (quietly) Not telling you. Ahmed (O.C.): Mister President, sir, we're ready for you up here. The Doctor: Remember all those years when all you wanted to do was to rule the world? On my way. Ahmed (O.C.): Thank you, Mister President. The Doctor: Piece of cake. Osgood: Oh, er, it's her little device thingy. I thought there might be useful information on it. Who is she? The Doctor: You'd never believe me if I told you. Osgood: Cos I thought she might be the Master, regenerated into female form? Your childhood friend, responsible for a number of previous incursions. The Doctor: That was fairly quick. Osgood: We do have files on all our ex-prime ministers. She wasn't even the worst. Doctor, there's something nobody's talking about. The Doctor: Which is? Osgood: The clouds caused by the exploding Cybermen, they haven't dispersed. They're still there. In fact, they've expanded and are covering almost all the land masses. We're all looking at the graveyards. Maybe we should be looking up? What do you think? The Doctor: All of time and space? Osgood: Sorry? The Doctor: Just something for your bucket list. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Main Cabin ] ( beeping ) News Report: Localised rain in the cemeteries has resulted in what can only be described as disturbances to the soil. Extraordinary eyewitness accounts are claiming that silver creatures are climbing from the graves. Kate: These scenes are being repeated everywhere. Every cemetery, every mortuary, every funeral home, every hospital, the dead are returning to life as Cybermen. News Report: The public are being advised to stay away from all cemeteries. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Graveyard ] ( thunder rumbles ) ( echoing ghostly voice sings ) ( rustling crunch ) ( low clunk ) Clara: Hello? Hello? [SCENE_BREAK] [ Main Cabin ] Kate: We've done heat scans of some of the cemeteries and, in each case only a handful of Cybermen have so far emerged. But every individual burial site is active. Ahmed: Active? The Doctor: Hatching. Kate: More are coming. Potentially millions. Ahmed: So the rain caused all that in just a few hours? The Doctor: It wasn't rain, Man Scout. It was pollen. Cyber-pollen. Every tiny particle of a Cyberman contains the plans to make another Cyberman. All it has to do is to make a contact with compatible living organic matter and bang! Full conversion. But if they have learned how to convert the dead. The Doctor: That's what she was doing. That's what 3W was for. She creates an all-new paranoia among the super-rich about dying. She exploits the wealth and the mortal remains of selected idiots so she can create a whole new race of Cybermen. Cybermen who can recruit corpses. Throw away your guns, Man Scout, it's all over. How can you win a war against an enemy that can weaponise the dead? Ahmed: They're not attacking, apart from isolated incidents. They're just wandering about. The Doctor: They're newborns. Give them time. Why were you there this morning? Why were you already attacking? Kate: Been investigating 3W for a while, then we got a tip-off. Ahmed: From a woman with a Scottish accent. The Doctor: Can't play to the gallery unless there's a gallery, and here I am. The Doctor: Dead bodies don't have minds, of course, but she's been upgrading dying minds to a hard drive for a long time. So she upgrades the hardware, and then she updates the software. Kate: What do you mean, a long time? How long? The Doctor: Well, she must have a TARDIS somewhere, so as long as she likes. The past, the future... Kate: How long, Doctor? The Doctor: How long has the human race had a concept of an afterlife? Turns out the afterlife is real, and it's emptying. Every graveyard on planet Earth is about to burst its banks. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Cargo Hold ] ( she hums ) Missy: Hey, Missy, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind. Hey, Missy. Hey. Excuse me. Hi. Can I tell you something really important? Osgood: What. Missy: (quietly) I have to whisper it. It's, like, so important to everyone on this plane. You'll get in trouble if you don't listen. Osgood: Right. If it was that important, why would you tell us? Missy: Well, look at me, I'm bananas. Come on. Just a wee bit closer. Just a little closer. You know, the Doctor will be really impressed if you learn my secret. You can come a bit closer than that. Come on, stop mucking about. Don't be shy. You don't smell half as bad as you think you do. Osgood: There are two armed men directly behind you. Missy (quietly): Yeah, yeah, yeah. Osgood: If you've got something to say, just say it. Missy: ( clears her throat ) (quietly): I'm going to kill you in a minute. I'm not even kidding. You're going to be as dead as a fish on a slab any second now, all floppy and making smells. But don't tell the boys. This is our secret girl plan. Osgood: Why would you bother killing me? I'm not even important. Missy: Oh, silly. Why does one pop a balloon? Because you're pretty. You should have a bit more confidence in yourself. Osgood: OK. Sorry, I've got work to do. Missy: All right, fine. You get on. You get that finished. Would a countdown help you focus at all? Osgood: No, that's OK. Missy: Ten. Don't be scared yet, cos I'm still in double figures. Osgood: I'm not scared. Missy: Nine. Well, no, of course you're not, cos you know you're dying anyway. Eight. Human beings are born dying. Your life spans are hilarious. Osgood: Please be quiet. Missy: Seven. You know from the minute you slop out, you're rotting, decaying. The stench of you. Phew! I'm never going to get this place clean. Three. Osgood: Three? Missy: I'm accelerating for dramatic effect. Oh! What's that in your pocket? Osgood: There's nothing in my pocket... Missy: Oh my giddy aunt. The quiet ones are the worst. Osgood: Well, those aren't mine. Missy: Hmm... Then they must be mine. Say something nice. Osgood: Missy, the Master, whatever you call yourself, I promise, I'm much more useful to you alive. Missy: Oh, yeah, that's true. That's definitely true. That is a good point well made. I'm proud of you, sister. But did I mention bananas! Pop. Missy: Ah. Thanks for being yummy. ( click ) ( metallic thrumming ) Missy: Whoo-oo! [SCENE_BREAK] [ Main Cabin ] Kate: Mister President, you need to get back in your seat. The Doctor: I don't like being the president. People keep saluting. I'm never going to salute back. Kate: Do you know, that was always my dad's big ambition, to get you to salute him just once. The Doctor: He should've asked. Kate: Doctor, what are you looking at? The Doctor: The clouds. Still there. So what else have they got? Kate: Oh, dear Lord! The Doctor: There's a Cyberman out there on the fuselage. But on the plus side, it's not turbulence. The Doctor: She's out. Who let her out? Ahmed: What's it doing? Where did it go? What can one Cyberman do to a plane? [SCENE_BREAK] [ Cargo Hold ] ( faint echoing ghostly voice sings ) Missy: Oh, she was really scared. It's classic. Have you got any more friends I can play with? [SCENE_BREAK] [ Graveyard ] ( indistinct mechanical muttering ) Cybermen: Locate hive. Locate hive. Locate hive. Locate hive. Clara: Are you the one that brought me here? Cyberman: Affirmative. Clara: So you know who I am, right? Cyberman: You are not the Doctor. Clara: Of course I'm not the Doctor. I was lying to stay alive. But how do I know so much about him? Cyberman: You are his associate. Clara: No, I'm not. I'm not his associate. I'm his best friend. Right now, his best friend, anywhere in the universe. Have you got any sort of Cyber-Internet in there because, really, you should look it up. Look up what happens to you if you harm me. Cyberman: Where is the Doctor? Clara: What, you think I would give up the Doctor? Don't be daft. I would never, ever, give up the Doctor, because he is my best friend, too. He is the closest person to me in this whole world. He is the man I will always forgive, always trust. The one man I would never, ever lie to. Clara: Danny? Cyber-Danny: Danny Pink is dead. Help me. Clara: Oh, my God. Danny... Cyber-Danny: Help me. Clara: Danny, I am so sorry. Cyber-Danny: Help me. I need you to do something for me. I can't do it myself. Clara: What is that? Cyber-Danny: It's an inhibitor. It's not activated. I need you to switch it on. Clara: What does it inhibit? Cyber-Danny: Emotion. It deletes emotions. Please. I don't want to feel like this. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Main Cabin ] Ahmed: There's more than one. Kate: What? Ahmed: They're all over the plane. They're pulling it apart! [SCENE_BREAK] [ Cargo Hold ] Missy: Oh, o-o-oh. Ask me. The Doctor: Shut up! Missy: Ask me! Come on, you know you want to. You want to know what my plan is. You'll be surprised. I've got a gift for you. You know, I've been up and down your timeline, meeting all those silly people who died to keep you alive. And you know what I worked out? What you really need. The Doctor: For what? Missy: To know that you're just like me! ( phone rings ) Missy: Oh, and now it begins. ( phone continues ringing ) Doctor, I do believe you're on call. Miss Oswald expects. Who else but the girl who's got your number? Whoops! ( phone continues ringing ) The Doctor: It was you! [ FLASHBACK ] Clara: Ah, hello. 11th Doctor: Where did you get this number? Clara: The woman in the shop wrote it down. It's a helpline, isn't it? [ END FLASHBACK ] Missy (English accent): Computer helpline, love. That's the one. Best helpline in the universe. The Doctor: You put us together. Missy: I kept you together. [ FLASHBACK ] Clara: Who put that advert in the paper? The Doctor: Who gave you my number? Clara: The woman. The woman in the shop. The Doctor: Then there's a woman out there who's very keen that we stay together. [ END FLASHBACK ] The Doctor: Why? Missy: Cos she's perfect, innit? The control freak and the man who should never be controlled. You'd go to hell if she asked. And she would. The phone's ringing, Doctor. Can you hear that? Now that is the sound of your chain being yanked. Heel, Doctor! ( mimics Clara ) Help me, Doctor. Help me. Help me, Doctor. The Doctor: Clara? [SCENE_BREAK] [ Graveyard ] Clara: Doctor. With Danny. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Cargo Hold ] The Doctor: Danny's dead, Clara. Clara (O.C.): Not yet. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Graveyard ] Clara: Not quite. But he wants to be. The Doctor (O.C.): Clara... ( Danny sobs quietly ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Cargo Hold ] The Doctor: Clara? [SCENE_BREAK] [ Graveyard ] Clara: He's a Cyberman. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Cargo Hold ] Clara (O.C.): Doctor, Danny's a Cyberman. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Graveyard ] Clara: And he's crying. Doctor, he feels it. He's crying. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Main Cabin ] Kate: Message to Geneva. Tell them Boat One is going down. We don't anticipate survivors. ( alarm blares ) ( Ahmed yells ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Lab ] The Doctor: Clara, don't do it. Just don't do it! [SCENE_BREAK] [ Graveyard ] Clara: It's in his chest. He says it's an inhibitor. It can delete emotion or something. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Cargo Hold ] The Doctor: I know what it does. If you turn it on... [SCENE_BREAK] [ Graveyard ] The Doctor (O.C.): He'll become a Cyberman. Clara: He's already a Cyberman. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Cargo Hold ] The Doctor: Not yet, he isn't. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Graveyard ] Clara: He's hurting because I hurt him and he wants it to stop. The Doctor (O.C.): Stop the pain and he'll kill you! Clara: Look, are you going to help me, because I can't do this alone. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Cargo Hold ] The Doctor: I'm not going to help you commit suicide. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Graveyard ] Clara: Look, the TARDIS can home in on this call, right? Either you help me, or you leave me alone. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Cargo Hold ] The Doctor: Clara? Clara, no... [SCENE_BREAK] [ Graveyard ] Clara: There's a lot of switches round the edge. I'm just going to try pressing them all. Cyber-Danny: OK. Clara: I am so sorry. Cyber-Danny: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Cargo Hold ] Kate: Doctor! The Cybermen are in. The plane's going down. Missy: Oh, great. It's the daughter one. Do you like her? I like her. ( kate yells ) Kate: Aaaaaargh! The Doctor: Why did you do that? You didn't have to do that! Missy: Oh, don't be so selfish. I'm going to miss her, too. In fact, you know what? Just for that, I'm leaving. Boys, blow up this plane and, I don't know, Belgium, yeah? Kill some Belgians. Might as well. They're not even French. Byeeee! The Doctor: Aargh! Aaargh! Argh! Argh! ( he yells ) Aargh... argh... [SCENE_BREAK] [ Veranda ] Missy: Well, that's very boring. Oh, he's just going to squish. What kind of a way is that to die? That man has no finesse, none. Seb: Well, it's quite dramatic. Missy: You're an AI interface. Kindly delete your opinions, thank you. Seb: W-w-what's he doing? Is he? Is he? Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no. N-now, that's... Seb: Oh! Permission to squeeeee... ( metallic thrumming ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Graveyard ] Clara: Two more to go. Does it feel any different? Cyber-Danny: No. ( thudding ) Clara: Are you sure? Cyber-Danny: Yeah. ( thunder rumbling ) The Doctor: Clara, don't! Clara: Help me. The Doctor: If you do what you're trying to do, if you succeed, he will snap you. Clara: No. The Doctor: Then he will step over your broken body and break another and another and another. He will never stop. Cyber-Danny: I will not harm her. The Doctor: PE... PE... Cyber-Danny: Sir. The Doctor: I had a friend once. We ran together when I was little. And I thought we were the same. But when we grew up, we weren't. Now, she's trying to tear the world apart, and I can't run fast enough to hold it together. The difference ... is this. Pain is a gift. Without the capacity for pain, we can't feel the hurt we inflict. Cyber-Danny: Are you telling me seriously, for real, that you can? The Doctor: Of course I can. Cyber-Danny: Then shame on you, Doctor. The Doctor: Yes. Oh, yes. ( low rumble ) The Doctor: Danny, Danny, I need you to tell me. What are the clouds going to do? What is the plan? Cyber-Danny: How would I know? The Doctor: You're part of a hive mind now. Presumably that's how you found Clara. Just look. Cyber-Danny: I can't see much. The Doctor: Look harder. Cyber-Danny: Clara, watch this. This is who the Doctor is. Watch the blood-soaked old general in action. I can't see properly, sir, because this needs activating. If you want to know what's coming, you have to switch it on. And didn't all of those beautiful speeches just disappear in the face of a tactical advantage? Sir? ( The doctor Sighs ) The Doctor: I need to know. I need to know. Cyber-Danny: Yes. Yes, you do. Clara: Give me the screwdriver. The Doctor: No. Clara: Just do it, Doctor. Do as you are told. Cyber-Danny: Typical officer. Got to keep those hands clean. Clara: Just point and think, yeah? The Doctor: Yes. Clara: OK. I wasn't very good at it, but I did love you. Cyber-Danny: I love you too. Clara: I'm never going to say that again. Cyber-Danny: Me neither. Clara: Ready? Cyber-Danny: Yeah. ( she sobs ) Clara: I feel like I'm killing you. Cyber-Danny: (scoffs) I'm already dead. You're here this time at least. Clara: Goodbye, Danny. Cyber-Danny: Goodbye, Clara. ( electrical buzzing ) The Doctor: Oh... Clara, no! Step away! He's activating! Clara, step away now! Don't. Danny. Danny, if you can hear me, if you're still there, what are the clouds going to do? Cyber-Danny: The rain will fall again. All humanity will die. The Doctor: And rise again as Cybermen. Cyber-Danny: Correct. The Doctor: How do we stop it? Cyber-Danny: We cannot be stopped. ( whooshing ) Missy: Oh, that was brilliant! Oh, I love the telly here, but did you see that? Oh, Clara, you poor thing. You must feel like death. Let me pop away the pain. The Doctor: Don't you dare! Don't you think about it! Missy: Oh, sorry, hon, I'm just getting a bit carried away. It's your friends, they're so more-ish. Hmm? Oh, stop looking all cross-pants. I'm here to give you a gift. Could you at least try and be excited? The Doctor: What gift? Missy: Cyberdears! Look at Mummy! Raise your arms. Lower your arms. Raise your right. Lower your right. Turn on the spot. There are exits at the front and rear of the aircraft. Please follow the lights up the aisle. You see, Doctor? The power to slaughter whole worlds at a time, then make them do a safety briefing. Everyone who ever lived, man, woman and child, is now at my command. An indestructible army to rage across the universe. The more they kill, the more they recruit. Happy birthday. Oh! You didn't know, did you? It's lucky one of us remembers these things. Happy birthday... Mr. President. Cyberman: Doctor. Missy: Tiny bit pleased? Oh, go on, crack a smile. I want to see if your eyebrows drop off. The Doctor: All of this. All of it, just to give me an army? Missy: Well, I don't need one, do I? Armies are for people who think they're right. And nobody thinks they're righter than you. Give a good man firepower, and he'll never run out of people to kill. The Doctor: I don't want an army! Missy: Well, that's the trouble! Yes, you do! You've always wanted one! All those people suffering in the Dalek camps? Now you can save them. All those bad guys winning all the wars? Go and get the good guys back. The Doctor: Nobody can have that power. Missy: You will, because you don't have a choice. There's only way you can stop these clouds from opening up and killing all your little pets down here. Conquer the universe, Mister President. Show a bad girl how it's done. The Doctor: Why are you doing this? Missy: I need you to know we're not so different. I need my friend back. Every battle, every war, every invasion. From now on, you decide the outcome. What's the matter, Mister President? Don't you trust yourself? [ FLASHBACK ] The Doctor: Tell me. Am I a good man? Danny: Sir! Rusty: I see into your soul, Doctor. I see hatred. The Doctor: I'm not a hero. Dalek: You are a good Dalek. [ END FLASHBACK ] The Doctor: Thank you. Thank you so much. I really didn't know. I wasn't sure. You lose sight sometimes. Thank you! I am not a good man! I am not a bad man. I am not a hero. And I'm definitely not a president. And no, I'm not an officer. Do you know what I am? I am an idiot, with a box and a screwdriver. Just passing through, helping out, learning. I don't need an army. I never have, because I've got them. Always them. Because love, it's not an emotion. Love is a promise. And he will never hurt her. PE, catch! You didn't notice, did you? While you were doing all your silly orders, while you where showing off, the one soldier not obeying. Missy: No, that's wrong. That's impossible. Cyber-Danny: The rain will not fall. Missy: Oh? Why won't it? Cyber-Danny: The clouds will burn. Missy: And who'll burn them? Cyber-Danny: I will burn them. Missy: How? Cyber-Danny: I will burn. Missy: One burning Cyberman is hardly going to save the planet. Cyber-Danny: Correct. Attention! This is not a good day. This is Earth's darkest hour. And look at you miserable lot. We are the Fallen. But today, we shall rise. The army of the dead will save the land of the living. This is not the order of a general, nor the whim of a lunatic. Missy: Excuse me? Cyber-Danny: This is a promise. The promise of a soldier! You will sleep safe tonight. Clara: Well. The clouds have all gone. The Doctor: Yes, burned up. Totally burnt. Burnt to nothing. Sorry. Missy: 10, 0, 11, 0, 0, by 0, 2 The Doctor: What did you say?? Missy: The current coordinates of Gallifrey. It's returned to it's original location. Didn't you ever think to look? The Doctor: You are lying! Missy: We can, we can go together, just you and me. Just like the old days. The Doctor: You'd be clapped in irons. Missy: If you like. Clara: Doctor, I'm assuming you'll remember those coordinates? The Doctor: No. No, don't you dare. I won't let you. Clara: Old friend, is she? If you have ever let this creature live, everything that happened today, is on you. All of it, on you. And you're not going to let her live again. The Doctor: Clara, all I'm doing is not letting you kill her. I never said I was letting her live. Clara: Really? The Doctor: If that's the only thing that will stop you, yes. Missy: Seriously. Oh, Doctor. To save her soul? ( chuckles ) But who, my dear, will save yours? Say something nice. ( he sighs ) Please? The Doctor: You win. Missy: I know. Clara: Doctor! The Doctor: Kate. She's breathing! She's alive! She can't be here. Clara: She is. The Doctor: She fell out of a plane. The Cyberman must have caught her. Clara: Doctor, she's talking about her dad. The Doctor: Of course. The Earth's darkest hour and mine. Where else would you be? The Doctor: Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Clara's place ] ( siren wails in the distance ) Danny (O.C.): Clara. Clara. Clara: Danny? Danny? Is that you? Clara: Please say it's you. Danny (O.C.): Clara. Clara: The Doctor told me about the bracelet, how it can let Missy travel from one world to the other. Danny (O.C.): This place is dying now. Clara: Yes, but the bracelet can bring you home. Danny (O.C.): There's only enough power for one trip. Clara: Then come on. Hurry up! Danny (O.C.): Just one trip. One trip, one person. Clara: Danny! Danny (O.C.): You need to find his parents. He died a long time ago. ( boy gasps ) Danny (O.C.): I'm sorry, Clara. ( sobbing ) I truly am. I had, I had promises to keep. ( bracelet fizzes ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Diner ] ( bell jingles ) The Doctor: Hey. Clara: Hey. The Doctor: I got your message. Clara: Two weeks late. The Doctor: Not bad. Clara: Improving. The Doctor: I see you've got news for me. Clara: News? The Doctor: He figured it out then? PE figured out there was a way home. Clara: Yeah. Yeah, he did. The Doctor: Oh, good old PE. He'll make a maths teacher yet. Clara: Listen, Doctor. There's, there's something that I have to tell you and, er, it's not good news so just, just listen, OK? The Doctor: I know. Clara: Sorry? The Doctor: I know exactly what you've got to tell me. Clara: You do? The Doctor: You and Danny are together now. That's great. That's how it should be. But the old man and the blue box, that's never going to fit in. So no more flying around. No more lying. Clara: OK, no, that's not exactly... The Doctor: It's fine. Clara: No, it's not fine. It, it really isn't fine. The Doctor: I've found Gallifrey. Clara: Wow! Oh, my God, ( low booming ) The Doctor: I entered the coordinates, just like she said. And I found Gallifrey. For once, she wasn't lying. Clara: So, what are you going to do now? The Doctor: Go home. Clara: OK. The Doctor: Gallifrey can be a good place. I can help make it that. Clara: What, you? The Doctor: Shut up! Clara: You won't just steal a TARDIS and run away? The Doctor: No, not this time. Never again. Clara: Never again. The Doctor: It's a long commute, so, you know, I thought, with you and Danny... Clara: Yeah. Me and Danny. Me and Danny, we are going to be fine. Don't you worry. You go home. Go home. Go be a king or something. The Doctor: Yeah, I might do that. Clara: Or queen, you know. Whatever. The Doctor: Yeah, queen, that would be good too. Clara: Yeah. ( she sighs heavily ) Tell you what, seeing as it's goodbye, shall we break a habit? The Doctor: What? What habit? Clara: Hug. The Doctor: Why not. Within reason. The Doctor: Come on, you're on the clock. Clara: Fair enough. Clara: Why don't you like hugging, Doctor? The Doctor: Never trust a hug. It's just a way to hide your face. Clara: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Ext. TARDIS ] Clara: Doctor? Travelling with you made me feel really special. Thank you for that. Thank you for making me feel special. The Doctor: Thank you for exactly the same. ( metallic thrumming ) ( Doctor Who theme plays ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Int. TARDIS ] ( knocking ) Man (O.C.): Coo-ee! ( knocking continues ) Hello? Doctor? You know it can't end like that. Hmm? We need to get this sorted and quickly. She's not all right, you know. And neither are you. I'm coming in. ( door creaks open ) Man (O.C.): Ah, there you are. I knew I'd get round to you eventually. Now, stop gawping, and tell me. Santa: What do you want for Christmas? ( Doctor Who theme plays )

Cybermen detonate themselves around the British Isles, to reincarnate and transform the dead into Cybermen with clouds that rain "Cyberpollen". Similar events occur all over the world. Danny is one of these Cybermen, and he rescues Clara. UNIT bring the Doctor and Missy aboard a plane, where the Doctor is inducted "President of Earth". Missy overpowers UNIT, kills Osgood, and blows up the plane. She reveals she gave Clara the phone number to the TARDIS. The Doctor reunites with Clara and Danny in a graveyard. Danny reveals that a forthcoming rainfall will convert all living people into Cybermen. Missy arrives and gifts the Doctor with control of the Cybermen to prove he and Missy are the same. The Doctor refuses and gives control to Danny, who leads other Cybermen into exploding and stopping the rainfall. Missy claims the planet Gallifrey is in its original location. The Doctor threatens to kill Missy to prevent Clara from doing so herself. Missy is seemingly disintegrated by Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart , reanimated as a Cyberman. Clara and the Doctor bid farewell with lies to each other: Clara tells the Doctor that Danny was brought back from the Nethersphere, and the Doctor tells Clara he found Gallifrey.

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Skyline: A silver dirigible floats above the skyline. [N.B. This episode was originally scheduled to air February 3rd, and then March 23rd.] ACT ONE Scene One - Caf Nervosa Niles and Daphne are sitting in the window box. Daphne gives an order to the waitress. Daphne: And one of those cinnamon buns, please - extra frosting. Brad and Cindy, another expecting couple, enter. Cindy's bump is very prominent. Niles: Oh, here they are. They warmly greet each other, and everyone sits. Cindy: We were so excited when you guys asked us out. You're like the A-list couple in Lamaze class. Niles: Oh well, that's good to hear. We were afraid we were in the "C-section." Daphne laughs (apparently she's lived under his roof long enough to find that funny). Brad unpacks some plastic containers and a thermos filled with a green- colored smoothie. Brad: We bring our own food everywhere. Cindy doesn't put anything unhealthy in her body. No refined sugar, white flour or gluten. I'm sure you're the same. Daphne: Oh, of course. The waitress comes back with a plate. Waitress: Cinnamon bun. Daphne: Oh, no thank you, I'm pregnant. Waitress: But you said- Daphne: I said no! The waitress takes it away as Cindy tucks into her food. Cindy: Sweetie, this is your best yam loaf yet. [to Niles and Daphne] He's a saint. He cooks my food, rubs cocoa butter on my belly... Brad: I just wish I could go through the birth for her. By now Niles and Daphne are both feeling extremely inadequate. Brad: Hey, what are you guys doing with your placenta? Cindy: Ours will nourish the roots of a special tree we plant in our yard. Brad: Well, we live in an apartment. Although that ficus in the study is looking a tad droopy. Cindy: By the way, if you need a doula- Brad: Cindy, I'm sure they already have one. Everybody has a doula. Ours is a treasure. She'll be there through the whole delivery. Focusing our energies, giving us emotional support - I don't know how people do it without one. Cindy: She's really helped Brad. He's having a really tough sympathy pregnancy. Brad: [rubs his stomach] Oh, boy. Cindy: Honey? Brad: I'm just... I'm feeling a little sick again, I'm sorry. I just need some air. He gets up and walks outside. Cindy gets up to follow him. Cindy: We're so in sync. He feels everything I'm feeling: nausea, weight gain, food cravings. Niles: Well, you know, in psychological terms, that's called Couvade Syndrome. Cindy: [shrugs] We just call it love. She exits. Niles: I don't like them. Daphne: They're getting so much more out of this than we are. We don't even have a placenta plan! Niles: No, wait - let's not panic. All we need is expert help. We'll hire one of those doula people. I'll get the number from Brad. Brad and Cindy come back in and sit down. Brad: Sorry, sorry. Oh, this pregnancy is taking it out of me. [rubs his nipples] Oh, my breasts are so tender today. Niles: [jumps on the bandwagon] You know what? I'm starting to feel a bit nauseous. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Two - Frasier's Office Building The elevator doors part to reveal Frasier, with his nose buried in a newspaper, and another man. Both get off the elevator. The man continues down the hall, while Frasier walks down a few steps and, with his eyes still on the paper, inserts his key into his office door. Only the key doesn't fit. Just as he looks up and realizes it is the wrong door, it is pulled open by a smiling woman, Charlotte. [N.B. Laura Linney also voiced the guest caller Mindy in [10.17], "Kenny on the Couch."] Charlotte: Hi! Welcome to Charlotte's Web: a matchmaking service. Come in! Frasier: Well, I'm-I'm sorry, isn't this...? Oh, I see what happened. I must have been so engrossed in my paper I went right past my floor. Charlotte: Of course. It can be a little embarrassing to admit you need help in the romance department, please come in. Frasier: No, this was a mistake. Charlotte: I understand. [more insistent] Come in. Frasier: Trust me, you are comically incorrect. I do not need a matchmaker. Charlotte: So you're married? Frasier: No. Charlotte: Dating someone? Frasier: I date plenty. In fact, I often need the proverbial stick one uses to beat women off... with. I... [rallies] I believe my point is made. [turns back to the elevator] Charlotte: [holds out a] Why don't you just take my card? Frasier: I don't need your card. Charlotte: In case you change your mind. Frasier: I won't change my mind. Charlotte: For a friend. Frasier: I have no friends. [realizes] ...who are in need of your services. You see, I am a bit of a local celebrity, so I have no trouble getting dates. [calls the elevator] Charlotte: Really? Frasier: Yes. Charlotte: What's your name? Frasier: Dr. Frasier Crane. Charlotte: Oh! [then] Sorry, doesn't ring any bells. The elevator arrives. Several passengers exit, leaving an attractive young woman (Ellie). Frasier steps on with her. Ellie: Frasier Crane? Frasier: Why, yes it is. Ellie: Well, my God, what are you doing here? Frasier: Well, actually, I have an office one floor down. Ellie: Really? Frasier: Yes. Ellie: I'm on 18. Frasier: Oh well, why don't I ride up with you? I could use the exercise. They laugh. Vindicated, Frasier waves goodbye to Charlotte. Frasier: Bye-bye. The doors close. Reset to: Inside Elevator Ellie: It's so funny seeing you here. Frasier: It's funny for you, delightful for me. It's always nice to meet a fan, especially one so attractive. Beat. Ellie: You don't remember me? Frasier: Yes, of course I remember you! It's you. Hey, you. Ellie: I can't believe you don't remember. We dated - three times! Frasier: ...Jennifer. Ellie: Ellie. Frasier: Ellie! [elevator stops] Oh well, here's your floor. Nice catching up with you. Ellie: Oh, brushing me off - that sounds familiar. Reset to: Hallway Charlotte is waiting for the elevator. The doors open on a scene completely different from the one they closed on. Ellie: Oh, not that I'm surprised you forgot me. You spent every day talking about yourself, and then, after we slept together... Frasier: [stumbling out] I'm so sorry. Sorry... Ellie: But you could've CALLED me! Frasier: Sorry! Again, so sorry. The doors close. Frasier stands there, facing the elevator. Charlotte has kept her mouth shut and her eyes down. They stand in silence for a moment, then as one they turn back into the hallway, and he follows her into her office. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Three - Office Frasier is pacing the office and telling Charlotte his history. Frasier: And so it seems I have dated every woman in Seattle! The well is dry. The cupboard is bare. There are no more fish in the sea. Meanwhile my dad is engaged, my brother is expecting his first child, while I am left to spin aimlessly on the dating hamster wheel. Charlotte: You like your metaphors, don't you? Well, don't worry, Frasier. Somewhere in Seattle there's a woman you haven't pissed off, and I'm gonna find her. Frasier: You seem awfully sure of yourself. Charlotte: I am. I've successfully matched hundreds of couples. So... She motions him to a chair, and sits at her desk with pen and paper. Charlotte: What kind of woman are you looking for? And don't just say smart, sexy, and sophisticated. Frasier: Why, don't you have any of those? She looks at him expectantly. Frasier: All right. Well, it's hard to say what I want. It's been so long since I've really fallen for someone. You know that feeling you get after a first date, when you can't even sleep? You just lie there in bed awake, thinking about her. That's what I want. Charlotte: You're going to make me work for my money, aren't you? Uh, by the way, I do require a payment up-front. Frasier: Oh, of course. Charlotte: My fee's $10,000. Frasier: [after a beat] That's awfully steep. Charlotte: And those ten years of bad dates, how much did they run you? Frasier: [after another beat] I'll write you a check. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Four - Caf Nervosa Frasier is having coffee with Roz. Frasier: So I gave her the money and I filled out the questionnaire. Roz: Hm. You fudged a little bit on your answers, right? Frasier: No, of course not. Why would I? Roz: Because nobody's honest on those things. There's a code people use. Like "mature" means old, "athletic" means flat- chested, and, uh... oh, "not model thin" means circus fat. Frasier: Well, gosh. She's already sent me out on a date this evening. But I assure you, I am more interested in personality than looks. Roz: Did you see a photo at least? Frasier: Well, of course I saw a photo. She's got a personality you can bounce a quarter off of. They share a naughty laugh. Roz: So where you taking her? Frasier: Claret - I intend to take all subsequent dates there as well. That way I can compare them objectively, you see. As the woman will be the only variable. It's basic science! Roz: Yeah, that's been your dating problem - not enough science. Frasier gives her a wry smile. Niles and Daphne enter. Daphne: Hey, you two! They ad-lib greetings. Frasier gives up his seat to Daphne, and takes another as she and Niles sit. Niles: We can only chat for a moment. We're meeting our doula. Frasier: Oh, yes. Your doula. Roz: Anybody need anything? I'm getting more coffee. Daphne: Oh, no thanks, we brought fennel tea and some healthy snacks to nibble on. Roz goes to the counter. Daphne unpacks her purse. Frasier: Oh, peanut butter and carrots. Looks like somebody has pregnancy cravings. Niles: Yes, I just can't help myself. [reaches for some] Frasier: Oh dear, Niles - Couvade Syndrome? Niles: We just call it love. Frasier: Yes, well... I have a date. I've signed up with a matchmaking service. He rises and gets his coat. Niles: Wait, Frasier, a matchmaker? I'm surprised you'd use a professional for something as personal as your love life. Frasier: Well, I could say the same thing about you and your doula. Niles: Well, our professional comes highly recommended. Frasier: So does mine. Niles: Well, our professional is at the top of her field. Frasier: As is mine. Niles: [while Daphne looks weary] Well, our professional charges $200 an hour. Frasier: Mine charges 10,000! Niles: [taken aback] She sounds fantastic! Congratulations, Frasier. Frasier: Thank you, Niles. Wish me luck! Niles: Good luck. [still impressed] Wow. Frasier exits, passing a fey woman wrapped in an afghan with her arms hugging her body. Harvest: [ethereal voice] Daphne and Niles? Niles: Oh, you must be Harvest. Daphne: So nice to meet you. [Roz comes back] Oh, this is our friend Roz. Roz: Hi. Harvest: [hands to Niles] A resume detailing my 15 years of experience, plus a syllabus for further reading. Niles: Well, I am "doula impressed." Harvest: Now, on page five you'll find details about my support staff. There's a masseuse, a shaman of course, and a drummer. He used to tour with the Doobie Brothers. Very talented. Niles: My, sounds expensive. I can't wait to tell Frasier. Harvest: And of course I insist on a drug-free birthing environment- Roz: Whoa, back up. No drugs? Harvest: Oh, I want Daphne to be awake and connected to the moment. A natural childbirth needn't be painful. Roz: It needn't be, but it be. Daphne: How painful? Roz: Would you have a tooth pulled without Novocaine? Daphne: [afraid] No. Roz: Well, a tooth is this big. [measures with her fingers] Harvest: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you wanted to be emotionally present for the birth of your baby. [rises and takes back her papers] But I see that you just want somebody to dope you up, strap you down, and yank it out. Niles: [rises] Oh, no, no, wait, wait, wait, don't go. Daphne: Yes, our friend was just leaving. [glares at Roz] Roz: All right. [gets up] You're right, I'm sorry. This is a private matter. [strokes Daphne's head supportively] You need to do what's right for you. Daphne nods, smiling - and Roz yanks a hair out of her head. Daphne: Ow! Roz: Times a million. Roz walks out, as Niles rubs his temples and Daphne worriedly puts a hand to her head. [SCENE_BREAK] DATING GAME Scene Five - Claret Frasier pulls out the chair for his date, an attractive blond. Frasier: Here we are. Date 1: Thank you. Frasier: There's something wonderful about first dates, isn't there? [the waiter hands them their menus] Oh, thank you very much. That tingle of anticipation as two perfect strangers march toward endless vistas of possibility. Date 1: Well put, Frasier. Frasier: Oh well, thank you. [N.B. Throughout the following scene(s), the camera angle switches between Frasier's side of the table and his date's.] Frasier: And what do you do? Date 1: I'm a science teacher. Frasier: Ah, serendipity. I'm a science man myself. I suppose that's why Charlotte got the two of us together. Well then, what's your field? Date 1: Well, my field is biology, but my specialty is creationism. Frasier: Oh well, I find that... excuse me? Date 1: You know, they're only in first grade, so they don't understand everything. But Brother William, he's our leader, he likes us to get them started young before they get their minds warped by all that fossil nonsense. [N.B. For the benefit of readers in Canada or Europe, where this debate is probably not as lively, or even extant: creationism is the belief that takes the Book of Genesis literally, that the earth and humanity were created by God in seven days, and that the earth is only as old as human history - a few tens of thousands of years. The theory deliberately rebutted Charles Darwin's theories that the earth is several hundred million years old, and that all species, including man, gradually evolved from lesser ones. Particularly offensive to creationists is Darwin's theory that humans are descended from apes. This debate was particularly heated in the American South, where several states passed laws prohibiting the teaching of Darwin's theories in elementary schools - which led to the highly public "Scopes Monkey Trial" in the 1930's, upon which the play "Inherit the Wind" was based. See also Frasier's reference to it in [2.13], "Retirement is Murder."] Frasier: Well, you know, I-I realize that Darwin had his detractors, but to call it nonsense seems a bit cavalier, don't you think? Date 1: [leans back] Oh, dear. You're one of those. [Frasier looks confused] You think we're descended from apes? Frasier: Well, not recently, no. Date 1: Do I look like an ape to you? Do I have hairy palms and a big hairy back? Frasier: Would you like a drink? SWITCH: the woman on the other side of the table is now Frasier's second date - a short brunette woman with a voice and manner as coarse as burlap. Date 2: Oh yeah, bring it on. But I got to warn you - I'm a horny drunk. Last Spring in Cabo, I wake up one morning under a beach umbrella, stark naked, tequila bottle in one hand, and some guy's tightie-whities on my head! [N.B. She makes Sherry Dempsey from Seasons 4 and 5 look like a Victorian headmistress.] Frasier's smile is frozen on his face. The waiter happens by with a long pepper mill. Date 2: [to the mill] Whoa! Don't I know you from Cabo? [braying laugh] Remind you of anything? [laugh] You wish, right? [laugh] Frasier: That's, uh, very amusing. So what do you do for a living? SWITCH: Date #3 [N.B. Though Frasier's lines function both as responses to his last date and prompts for his next one, he's wearing a different suit in each take, also indicating the change.] An older woman with a pageboy haircut. Date 3: Well, right now I'm back in school. You see, I've loved animals my whole life... She reaches up and scratches her head, causing her hair to shift back and forth and reveal a bed of stubble underneath - it's a wig. Date 3: So I figured, why not really go for it, you know? So I'm going to become a taxidermist. Almost fearfully, Frasier reaches up and strokes his own thinning hair. Date 3: Is something wrong? Frasier: No. I was just, uh, admiring your ensemble. SWITCH: Date #4 A heavyset woman with pigtails, dressed in a hideous, psychedelic patchwork tunic stitched from old plaid quilts. Date 4: Thanks. I made it myself. You know, I have a lot of this fabric left. I could make you a shirt with a matching hat. Frasier: Don't go to any trouble. Would you like some wine? SWITCH: Date #5 A teenager in a denim jacket, slouched back in her chair and chewing gum. Date 5: Nah, the cops took my fake I.D., and my dad'll kill me if I get busted again. So what are you, like fifty? Frasier has poured himself a big glass of wine. Frasier: Something like that. [N.B. An interesting hedge here - Frasier's birth year is given as 1952, so he'd be fifty-two now. Kelsey Grammer, on the other hand, is only forty-nine.] END OF ACT ONE [SCENE_BREAK] ACT TWO Scene Six - Frasier's Apartment Niles and Daphne are seated on the couch. Niles is snacking on something. Martin is reading the paper in his Armchair. Frasier comes out and gets his coat. Frasier: [taut singsong] Well, I'm off. Daphne: No, you can't. Our doula is coming specifically to meet you and your father. Niles: She insists on knowing all the members of the baby's energy circle. Martin: Oh, what kind of a kook is she anyway? Niles: Harvest is not a kook. [starts rubbing his nipples] She's assisted at the birth of more than 600 babies - and two giant pandas. Frasier: Well, she better get here quickly - I do have a date. Niles: Another one? Frasier: Yeah. Niles: You're doing fairly well by this matchmaker. Frasier: Oh, hardly. [drops his coat] A monkey throwing darts at the Seattle phone book would find me a better mate. Hell, a dart- throwing monkey would be a better mate. Martin: Why don't you fire her? Frasier: Don't think I haven't considered it. If tonight's a bust, I'm going to demand my money back. Niles rises awkwardly, and walks to the dining table. He has obviously gained weight, and his bulging stomach has turned his normal arrow- straight walk into something unrecognizable. Frasier: Niles, have you gained weight? Niles: Yes, but you know, you always put on a lot with your first baby. The hardest part is the mood swings. He gets a large piece of something from the table and takes a bite. The others just look at Daphne, who shrugs helplessly. Martin: Geez Niles, don't you think you're taking this sympathetic pregnancy thing too far? Niles: I'm simply giving in to the primal cycle of... [sinks down onto the couch gratefully] life. I have no control over it. Frasier: In that case, get off my Chanel couch before your water breaks. He opens the door just as Harvest is about to knock on it. Frasier: Oh, hello. I'm Dr. Frasier Crane. Harvest: Harvest Finkleman, delighted. [raises her hand, but does not shake his] Frasier: Oh. Well, I'm sorry, I can't stay. Niles and Daphne you know of course, and this is my dad. Martin Crane, Ms. Finkleman- Delighted. Frasier leaves. Harvest: Nice to meet you, Martin. Martin: Likewise. Harvest: So are you planning to participate in your grandchild's birth? Martin: Oh no, I'm kind of old school. Clean the kid up, slap a bow on her head, then call me in. Harvest: Oh! Guess who had their baby - Brad and Cindy? Niles: [overcome, high-pitched with crying] Oh, I'm so happy for them! Daphne: He gets very emotional lately. Harvest: It was a beautiful experience. I made a tape if you'd like to see it. Martin: [lifting his paper] I would like to NOT see it. Niles: No, no! This would be good for us, play it. Harvest: [hands the tape to Daphne] It was an 18-hour labor. She sits cross-legged in front of the TV as Daphne puts it into the VCR. The tape starts, and there is a sound of a bongo drum being played softly. Daphne turns to step back to the couch. Harvest: This should be about two hours into it. Niles: I'm so excited. Daphne, I can't wait until this is us. A scream of pure, hellish agony rips from the TV. Daphne jerks around to stare, Niles and Martin rear back in horror. Harvest: [enraptured] Oh, look at Cindy glow! Cindy: [on TV] Mother of God, just kill me! [scream] Daphne: [nervously] She seems like she's in a little pain. [scream] Harvest: Oh, pain is just fear leaving the body. Martin: [staring at the TV] That's a boatload of fear. [scream] Cindy: STOP THAT DAMN DRUM BEFORE I PUT YOUR HEAD THROUGH IT! [scream] Harvest: She laughed at that afterwards. [scream] Daphne: I've seen enough. She stops the tape, cutting off the latest scream. Harvest: Wait, wait! You'll see how Cindy pushes through the pain. Daphne: I'm not pushing through anything. I'm having my baby the way God intended - in a hospital, numb from the waist down. As she escorts Harvest to the door, Martin nods in approval and reaches for his goldfish crackers. Daphne: Now, take your incense and your woo-woo stick and get out. She shuts the door on Harvest, then turns. Niles is rubbing his nipples again. Daphne: And you, stop acting pregnant - you're a man, for God's sakes. Niles drops his hands. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Seven - Claret Frasier is back at the same table, twiddling his thumbs and waiting for his latest date. Charlotte enters the restaurant and sees him. Frasier: Charlotte, where's my date? Charlotte: I am so sorry. She just called, she had to cancel. Frasier: That does it. Charlotte: No, we'll find another evening. Frasier: No, Charlotte, we will not. You have sent me on enough miserable dates, thank you. Before you fix me up with a doll-collecting war criminal, or a hashish-smoking burger flipper, I want out! And I want my money back. Charlotte: Frasier, this... She pulls out the chair and sits down. He reluctantly sits opposite her. Charlotte: This is a process. I have only sent you out on five dates. Do you cure your patients in five sessions? Frasier: Well, no, but... She takes a thick binder out of her purse. Charlotte: This client roster is filled with fascinating women. I just signed a new one this morning - botany professor, avid bicycle rider, very striking. But you know what? If you're going to be so impatient, then we should just end this now, I'll write you a check. [lifts her purse] Frasier: Well, wait... Charlotte: No, no, no, no, I'm sure you'll do much better on your own. With $10,000 you can download a lot of love. Frasier: Well, let's not be too hasty. That striking, biking botanist sounded like me. Charlotte: I don't know. Frasier: Please? Charlotte: Don't beg, it's a turn-off. She replaced the binder in her purse and gets up. Charlotte: All right. Why don't I get us some drinks and then we can talk about our next move? Frasier: Great. She goes to the bar. Overcome with curiosity, Frasier sneaks the binder from her purse. He flips through the first few pages, seeing portraits of his five previous dates - and the rest of the pages are blank. He looks up, enraged. At the bar, Charlotte is desperately talking him up to a group of four women. Charlotte: He's a big radio star - smart, really sweet. So think about it. Here's my card. Frasier: [comes up behind her] You lied to me. You have five clients. There is no roster of eligible women! Charlotte: [snatches the binder back] You looked at my client log? Frasier: Yes, I've seen your log, and I've dated every toad on it! Woman: Is this the guy? Charlotte: No, no, no, different guy. Call me. She leads him back to the table. Frasier: I think the police might be interested in this little scam of yours. Charlotte: It is not a scam! I... I just didn't have time to put the other pictures in, and I will not work one second with someone who threatens me. I'll mail you a check. She rises angrily, so does he. Frasier: I'll save you the price of a stamp. I'll see you at your office tomorrow. Charlotte: Fine. I'd say come alone, but that's a given. She walks toward the exit. Suddenly her heel breaks off, she slips and lands hard on her knee, collapsing to the floor with a cry of pain. Frasier, the maitre 'd, and several diners gather around in concern. Charlotte: [breaking down] Oh God! What a crappy, crappy day! Frasier: Charlotte, are you okay? Charlotte: I can't give you a check. I've already... I've already spent the money on rent, and food, and... and these shoes. [takes one off and hammers it on the floor] These stupid, stupid shoes! Frasier: [helps her up] Come on now, it's okay. Charlotte: No, it's not! Nothing's okay. I lied to you. I just started this business. But I'm really good at what I do! I used to run the biggest matchmaking business in Chicago - before I lost it to my rotten ex-husband in the divorce. Frasier: Divorce? But you're wearing a wedding ring. Charlotte: [holds up her hand] It's camouflage. It inspires confidence. I mean, nobody wants a matchmaker whose life's a mess - like me! She bursts into tears, and Frasier helps her back to the table. Charlotte: I'm divorced, my business is a joke, and I'm up to my ass in debt, and I had to move in with my mother. I am thirty-five years old, and I am living with my mother! How pathetic is that? Frasier: [carefully] Well, I... I've seen worse. You mentioned something earlier about having a drink. Charlotte: Oh, believe me, I will. If my mother hasn't finished the bottle. Frasier: No, I meant here. [signals the waiter] Charlotte: No, I really can't. I've got to get home. I have paperwork, I have calls to make... Frasier: It's my treat. Charlotte: ["life preserver!"] Double Scotch. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Eight - Claret - Later that Night Frasier and Charlotte have moved on from drinks and are still talking as they finish the remains of a meal. Charlotte, much more relaxed, is toying with what's left on her plate, while Frasier has a glass of brandy. Charlotte: So then I spent five soul-sucking years in advertising dreaming up slogans for Crunchios. Frasier: "Crunchios are a munchy with your lunchy or your brunchy." That was you? Charlotte: Yeah. I felt better about myself when I was pushing cigarettes. [Frasier laughs] Then one day, I fixed up my boss with my friend, and they ended up getting married. Frasier: And thus a career was born. Charlotte: What better way to make a living than by helping people be happy? Frasier smiles - this speaks to him. Frasier: So does your old boss toast you every year when he celebrates his anniversary? Charlotte: Actually, he's a she now, and my friend's kind of bitter. But I got the hang of it after that. Well, until I lost the business and came here and moved in with my crazy-ass mother. Frasier: For what it's worth, it will get easier living with her. Charlotte: [laughs] Is that your professional opinion? Frasier: Actually, it's a personal one. My dad lives with me. Charlotte: No. Frasier: Mm, 11 years. Charlotte: Yikes. Frasier: Yeah, yeah. It does take a while to adjust to each other before you're perfectly in sync. Charlotte: How long did that take? Frasier: I'll let you know. They laugh. Frasier: Ah, truth be told, I'm going to miss him when he moves out. Charlotte: I was missing my mother when I was in Chicago. Now I just wish she was missing. She checks her watch. Charlotte: I didn't realize it was so late. [stands] Frank's waiting for me at home. Frasier: [stands] Frank? Charlotte: My boyfriend. Frasier: Oh... serious? Charlotte: Yes, but he has a fun-loving side, too. Frasier: No, I meant the relationship. Do you lie awake nights thinking about him? Charlotte: ...A little. It's still new, but I have my fingers crossed. Frasier: Well, good luck with it. Charlotte: Thank you. [leans in] And if you'll let me, I'm going to find someone fantastic for you too, Frasier, because you deserve it. Frasier: And because you have my $10,000. Charlotte: Are you going to mention that every time you see me? Frasier: [backing off] Well, all right... They smile at each other. He sits back down. As she is leaving, she glances back. Frasier smiles to himself and opens the bill. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Nine - Frasier's Bedroom The lights are off, and the clock over the bed reads "4:30 AM." Frasier is lying awake in bed, staring at the ceiling, his head cradled in his hands. Frasier: Damn. But he still can't keep from smiling, even as he gives a wistful sigh. END OF ACT TWO [SCENE_BREAK] Caf Nervosa: Daphne and Niles are enjoying a cinammon bun together. Brad and Cindy enter, pushing a pram. Niles quickly throws a napkin over their pastry, and they all greet each other. Niles and Daphne look into the pram, cooing over the baby. Brad and Cindy go to the counter. Daphne and Niles look at each other incredulously. Daphne puffs out her cheeks and raises her arms like flippers, Niles puffs out his own, both agreeing that it is the fattest baby they've ever seen.

Frasier stumbles upon a matchmaking service on the way to his office, and takes some time explaining to the woman at the door that he is there by mistake. However, this is followed by an encounter with a former girlfriend in the elevator, and since Charlotte (the matchmaking agent, played by Laura Linney ) witnesses this, Frasier decides to come quietly. After parting with $10,000, he is sent on a series of disastrous dates, and eventually loses patience and demands his money back. It is then that he discovers the business and its agent are not what they seem. Niles and Daphne have been socialising with another couple expecting a child, Brad and Cindy. This couple talk at length about all their plans for the birth, what to do with the placenta and so forth, and Brad even seems to be experiencing a sympathetic pregnancy . Determined not to be outdone, Niles and Daphne decide to hire a doula for their birth.

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"The Beaver in the Otter" [SCENE_BREAK] TEASER (Outside Middlesex college- Students are at a bonfire rally) GREG HARMALARD: My name is Greg Harmalard and I'm here to recruit you. (Students cheer) Tomorrow night, our noble conference champions, the Middlesex Archers, (Students take an archer's pose) take on the desperate and conniving Forrest Lake Otters. (Boos) Right about now, the Otters must be wondering where their mascot went. (A crane over the bonfire rises to reveal the Otter mascot hanging from it) Archers ready your bows... archers raise your bows... archers aim...archers fire! (The bonfire is set alight by the archers as the students cheer on) GREG HARMALARD: Ladies and Gentleman of Middlesex College, aim your weapons...fire at will. (The students throw all they have it and they fire a blunderbuss. The mascot rips apart as the victim hangs by an ankle over the bonfire. STUDENTS: Oh my god! Oh my God! It's real! (They run and scream out) (Cut to - Outside Middlesex College, the next morning) BRENNAN: Male...some of this costume is fused to the remains DEAN WARNER: Ah, Good morning, I'm Vernon Warner, the dean of students. BOOTH: I'm special agent Seeley Booth, this here is Dr Temperance Brennan from the Jeffersonian. BRENNAN: There is a lot of damage to this body. SHERRIF TINA MILLINS: They had a cannon, more like a blunderbuss, really, filled to the brink with bric-a-brac and shrapnel. DEAN WARNER: Yeah, look, I suspect that this might be a prank BRENNAN: A prank? BOOTH: It's college, Bones. DEAN WARNER: I...I suspect that one of our less reflected frat house may have stolen these remains from the medical school. SHERRIF TINA MILLINS: Beta, delta, sigma. We've got a missing cadaver reported yesterday. BOOTH: (Proudly) You know, Bones, when I was in College, my fraternity, we stole a cadaver, dressed it up like Caesar and put it on a statue of a horse BRENNAN: Would this, by any chance, be a fraternity of sociopaths? DEAN WARNER: Ah! But the Betas did do this, I will withdraw their certifications. BOOTH: Stolen cadaver was male, 73 years old, his snowmobile fell through the ice, donated his body to science. DEAN WARNER: Yes, snowmobilers and motorcyclists are our main source of cadavers. BRENNAN: No. The third molar has not fully erupted. I'd be surprised if he was older than mid-20's. DEAN WARNER: So this is not the missing cadaver? BRENNAN: I think you'll find you missing medical school cadaver is over there. BOOTH: Where? BRENNAN: Sitting on the bleachers. He hasn't moved since we got here. SHERRIF TINA MILLINS: No that's just campus security. They're always like that, but I'll go check it out. DEAN WARNER: So if he is not a stolen cadaver, then, uh...he wasn't alive when our students shot him with the cannon, was he? BRENNAN: I won't know the cause of death until I get him back to the lab. SHERRIF TINA MILLINS: Yeah, she's right; it's your cadaver, reeks of formaldehyde. BOOTH: 'k, let's get it all back to the Jeffersonian, shall we? Cut to: Jeffersonian lab, forensic platform (Cam approaches the body where Angela was already looking at the victim) CAM: Looks like someone took a flamethrower at a Sasquatch! ANGELA: Well, this is what he was supposed to look like (Shows a picture) CAM: Someone finally killed a mascot? (Arastoo Vaziri arrives on the platform) CAM: Mister Vaziri, do you have the X-Rays? ARASTOO: Yes. I have never seen so many foreign objects in human remains before. Arrows, marbles, jacks, various coins, cutlery, my best guess is a nuclear explosion just as the victim entered the 99 cent store. (Cam tries not to laugh) ANGELA: Well, uh, close...He was shot by a blunderbuss, pelted by an angry mob and then burned. CAM: Now that's what I call team spirit (they look at her strangely) I'm a wisecracking pathologist with a dark sense of humor. ANGELA: It was funny (Angela nods). TITLES ACT 1 Cut to: Diner; (Jared is at the bar eating when Booth arrives. Brennan is on the phone in the office. ) BOOTH: What did they say? (Jared hands Booth an envelope that he opens) BOOTH: Dishonorable discharge? JARED: Court Martial convicted me of misuse of authority and theft of government property. BOOTH: Ahh. No Booth has ever gotten a dishonorable discharge. JARED: Uh yea. No Booth has ever had to save his brother from an insane kidnapper. BOOTH: Sorry JARED: I owed you for digging me out of crap my whole life. BOOTH: You're gonna need a job. JARED: Well, I joined the navy when I was 17, so a job, that's what civilians refer to as duty, right? (Booth's phone rings, and he answers it) BOOTH: Booth BRENNAN: Angela identified the boy in the otter suit. BOOTH: Well, wow, that was quick. (to Jared) Look, just give me a second. BRENNAN: Are you talking to me? BOOTH: No, I'm talking to my brother (to Jared) Just give me one minute. JARED: Do your thing; I'll catch up with you later. (He leaves) BOOTH: Look, hey, I'll help you find a job. BRENNAN: What? Me? JARED: I saved your life, you find me a job, yeah that seems fair, BOOTH: Yeah, I'm back. BRENNAN: The student's walk-in dentist was able to provide dental records. I e-mailed you the particulars. The victim is James Bouvier. His friends called him Beaver, I assume because of his last name, which is Bouvier. BOOTH: Yeah, I'm sure that's why. BRENNAN: Although, despite the similar sounds, bouvier means ox, not beaver. Beaver is 23 years old and a member of the Beta Delta Sigma fraternity. BOOTH: Yeah, that's not a coincidence. BRENNAN: Statistically, given the size of the campus, it could be a complete coincidence that the murdered student is also a member of the group of sociopathic young male cadaver thieves. BOOTH: Statistically, maybe, but this is not math class, ok, Bones. Just meet me at Middlesex college in 30 minutes. (Booth hangs up the phone) Cut to: Middlesex College BOOTH: You don't mention anything about Beaver when we talk to these people. BRENNAN: What people? BOOTH: Those people here, they're all potential suspects, got it? BRENNAN: Ok BOOTH: Ok, so, who organized the rally last night? GREG HARMALARD: That would be me and Gary DEAN WARNER: It's, uh, Greg Harmalard and Gary Bacon. GREG HARMALARD: The bonfire is kind of a tradition, me and Gary added the whole hanging-of-the-enemy-mascot element, hum Molly brought in the band and took care of letting everyone know the where and when details. MOLLY BRIGGS: Well, just an e-mail chain really. BRENNAN: Whose idea was the blunderbuss? GREG HARMALARD: Me, again. You have to understand that we had no idea there was a cadaver in there. MOLLY BRIGGS: It's from the med school, right? It's what I heard. BOOTH: Ok, so who stole the otter costume from Forrest Lake? GARY BACON: Hum, me, Greg and Dave. BOOTH: When you stole the costume, was there anything inside of it? GARY BACON: Nothin', I mean, there was a dancing acrobat dude, or whatever, but we duct taped him to a pole and took the suit. BRENNAN: Ok, where was the costume located between the time you stole it and when it was hung on the gallows, blown up and incinerated? MOLLY BRIGGS: We just kicked it under here, it's the homecoming float. GARY BACON: Me, Dave and Greg stuffed it with cafeteria leftovers in plastic bags. The head was a cantaloupe. GREG HARMALARD: Next day, we brought in Dave's dad's truck and hung it up, drove it out to the rally. BOOTH: So, are any of you guys members of the Beta Delta Sigma fraternity. MOLLY BRIGGS: Hum, the Betas don't build school spirit, they tear it down, so definitely not. BOOTH: Any of you guys know a guy by the name of Jimmy Bouvier? BRENNAN: Also known as Beaver GARY BACON: Yeah, hum, he's a Beta, he's got a huge bong. GREG HARMALARD: He was ok, he was a good time guy. MOLLY BRIGGS: He lives to throw up a lot is all I know. GARY BACON: If anybody was gonna put a cadaver in the otter suit, it'd be Beaver. GREG HARMALARD: I bet he was watching everyone running and screaming last night, and laughing his ass off. Cut to - Jeffersonian Lab, Forensic Platform (Arastoo is digging all the foreign objects that were sh1t in Beaver's body and handing them to Hodgins) HODGINS: This is a commemorative pin from the Chinese Olympics ARASTOO: it was in what's left of the victim's liver. HODGINS: A ball-bearing...all this stuff is extremely common, nails, screws, bolts, washers, keys. ARASTOO: What is this? HODGINS: My guess, it's a USB drive. ARASTOO: What kind of people would do this? Perfect human remains with household commonalities and refuse. HODGINS: I don't know...every bomber who ever lived? ARASTOO: Did you make that comment simply because I am Muslim? HODGINS: You serious? Of course! ARASTOO: Timothy McVeigh, Ted Kaczynski, William Ayres, Mr. George P. Meteski, known as the original Mad Bomber. (Hodgins gives him a defiant look then turns away) ARASTOO: It seems an insurmountable task, this. Each of these could have been the cause of death and yet we will not be able to trace it's... HODGINS: Trace it's? What? ARASTOO: It's origin. This is a bullet. HODGINS: 22 caliber ARASTOO: A bullet says "I wish to kill you" much more clearly than an Olympic pin. Don't we agree? (Hodgins looks at it more) HODGINS: Yup Cut to - Beta Delta Sigma frat house ROBERT HOOPER: I'm Robert Hooper, Beta Delta chapter president, this is Dalton Abbot, he helped Beaver steal the corpse from the medical school. BOOTH: Listen, guys, we don't care about the cadaver, we just want to find out who killed your brother. ELI ROUNDER: We agreed, before you got here, that we'd answer any and all questions you have, truthfully. SWEETS: A conspiracy to tell the truth, interesting. ROBERT HOOPER: Yea, Eli was the Beaver's frosh, you know, kinda breaking him in the Greek life. SWEETS: hmm, what was Beaver like? ROBERT HOOPER: The man was the most popular guy in the house SWEETS: No, I asked what was he like, not was he liked. BOOTH: Sweets SWEETS: What? There's a difference. ELI ROUNDER: Look, The Beaver was exactly like a great guy, who everybody liked. BOOTH: What was Beaver's life like outside the fraternity? ROBERT HOOPER: like Eli said, everybody liked him. ELI ROUNDER: Well except for the faculty, he was on academic probation. ROBERT HOOPER: Academic probation is the price you pay for everybody liking you. SWEETS: Girlfriend? Or is this one of those "Bros before Hoes" kind of frats? ROBERT HOOPER: Beaver was more like a partier BOOTH: Well we do know that Beaver was with at least one girl SWEETS: Why? What makes you think so? BOOTH: Scoreboard! (Booth gets up to get a closer look at it) SWEETS: What? BOOTH: Beaver. One star. One conquest SWEETS: So do the starts, here, represent the number of times individuals members of the fraternity completed the s*x act or the number of girls? ROBERT HOOPER: The second SWEETS: (nods) Just curious, do you also compare pen1s size? ELI ROUNDER: No! Only if we're really drunk and already naked ROBERT HOOPER: What? ELI ROUNDER: What? We agreed to answer all their questions truthfully. SWEETS: Dalton Abbot, very successful, according to this, compensate for something... BOOTH: Sweets, just stop psycho-analysing frat life and just get on with the Beaver questions. SWEETS: Sure, of course, but guys, wouldn't it be more impressive to actually have a single girl want to have s*x with you multiple times, unless your only objective is to impress other adolescent males? BOOTH: Guys! Beaver's single star? ELI ROUNDER: Molly Briggs BOOTH: Thank you! ELI ROUNDER: Guys, we agreed, for the last time. ROBERT HOOPER: If Harmalard found out that the Beaver was bouncing Molly, he'd kill him. BOOTH: Greg Harmalard? The guy who organized the bonfire? ROBERT HOOPER: Yeah, Molly's boyfriend, he's in ROTC. BOOTH: They like shooting things. Cut to - Brennan's office. BRENNAN: They keep track of sexual conquest with stars on the wall? SWEETS: It's emotionally stunted BOOTH: Guys, it's a college fraternity. BRENNAN: They seem like really terrible people. BOOTH: They're college kids, ok, it's their job description to be bad, it's what they do. SWEETS: Yeah, but still, a community of young man mutually supporting bad decisions. BOOTH: Look, these kids, they go out into the world, they're alone, they have no supervision, they have to be bad just in order to figure out what it is, you know. Scientific fact, their frontal lobes are the size of raisins. BRENNAN: No, that is not a scientific fact. BOOTH: What they gotta do is build their frontal lobes, with exercise, ok and that comes from doing the wrong thing. SWEETS: Ok, so your theory is, you gotta be bad to be good? BOOTH: Exactly, facts of life, my friend, ok so what transmissions did you get from the brothers? BRENNAN: Booth! He is not a radio! BOOTH: He kinda is, that's why I brought him along. SWEETS: What I did observe, using my eyes and my training, is that these three frat brothers weren't actually upset about Beaver's death BRENNAN: How do you know? SWEETS: Well, real grief comes and goes, in waves. Those guys had their faces set in sad, the whole time. They were lying. BRENNAN: I believe you're just guessing! SWEETS: Ok, fine, I'm a magic 8 ball. BOOTH: I think you hurt his feelings. BRENNAN: Did you believe him? (Cam walks in) CAM: The bullet Arastoo found in the victim's remains was a 22 caliber, light and relatively undamaged. BOOTH: hmm, a pressure room fire cartridge CAM: Which is consistent with ROTC small arms... Cut to- Interrogation room (Booth clicks the gun) BOOTH: so, you recognize this pistol? GREG HARMALARD: Yes sir, it's a Beretta U22 Neos, LR with a six inch barrel, ten round capacity, low blade front sights and adjustable rear sights. I'm in ROTC, I know my weapons. BOOTH: And you know this one particularly well, because it was last signed out to you. BRENNAN: FBI Balistics has ascertained that this gun fired this bullet. GREG HARMALARD: And where did you find the bullet? BRENNAN: In Beaver's corpse GREG HARMALARD: Beaver's dead? BOOTH: Hey! He's catching on pretty good! GREG HARMALARD: Hey I never shot Beaver. BOOTH: Did you fire this gun at the rally? GREG HARMALARD: Yes, sir, I did, but I loaded it with blanks. That was Beaver hanging in the otter mascot outfit? BRENNAN: He's quit adept at putting the puzzle together. BOOTH: humm GREG HARMALARD: What was Beaver doing in there? BOOTH: Well, we were hoping that maybe you'd be able to tell us. GREG HARMALARD: Look, I told you, I loaded the gun with blanks. BOOTH: Did you check the chamber? GREG HARMALARD: I think so. BRENNAN: Well, obviously, you are either careless or you intended to fire the bullet. GREG HARMALARD: Or somebody, you know, sabotaged me, Beaver had to be hanging up there for at least an hour before... No way that Beaver was still alive when I fired, right? I had no idea that it was Beaver; I had no reason to shoot Beaver. BOOTH: Except for the fact that he slept with your girlfriend. GREG HARMALARD: Humm, I don't want to sound conceited but look at Beaver, look at me, look at Molly, look at me... Cur to - float room MOLLY BRIGGS: Me and Beaver? Sexually? Do I look like a blow-up doll? BRENNAN: Beaver told his fraternal brothers that he had s*x with you. MOLLY BRIGGS: Yeah, well, he lied. Look, I'll give you DNA or whatever you want and then you can do me a favor and broadcast the results across the campus. BOOTH: Thanks. (to Brennan) We don't have anything to compare her DNA to. BRENNAN: I have an idea. Cut to - Car BOOTH: We're gonna collect his sheets, off his bed? BRENNAN: Yes! And then we will check them for DNA, see if he had sexual intercourse with Molly Briggs BOOTH: Yea...who's gonna check the kids' sheets? Seems like a bad job to me! BRENNAN: Uh huh Cut to - Beta Delta Sigma frat house (The frat brothers, dressed in Toga outfits, are around a ping pong table, doing a ceremony for Beaver ROBERT HOOPER: Gentleman, raise your glasses. Members of the Beta Delta Sigma, I ask that you form in your mind, your favorite image of our fallen brother, Jimmy "the Beaver" Bouvier. FRAT BROTHERS: Bouvier! BRENNAN: Why are they all wearing bed sheets? BOOTH: It's a toga memorial. ROBERT HOOPER: And with that image formed in your mind, I say "Drink!" (They all drink) BRENNAN: Excuse me; did one of you take the sheets from Beaver's room? Because that room is sealed for evidence and you will be prosecuted. BOOTH: It's a good one, Bones, now, on one's gonna admit to having Beaver's sheets. BRENNAN: Well, then we'll have to take them all. ELI ROUNDER: Oh! You can take mine, pretty lady. (He starts to undress) ROBERT HOOPER: Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, you heard him boys, give 'em your sheets. (They all take theirs sheets off which makes Brennan flush) BOOTH: I'll, humm, meet you back at the lab. ROBERT HOOPER: Can I...Can I offer you anything, ma'am? BRENNAN: No! Cut to - Front of the Diner. (Jared arrives on his bike) JARED: Hey, what do you think? BOOTH: Yeah, it's nice, not really gonna be much good around here in the wintertime, that's for sure JARED: You're always practical, huh, Seeley? BOOTH: Listen, I got you a job interview. JARED: Yeah? BOOTH: Ya, an army buddy of mine up in Pittsburgh is looking for someone to head up its criminal intelligence unit. JARED: You found me a job in less than 24 hours? BOOTH: Just an interview. You want to use my car? JARED: No BOOTH: Jared, you can't show up to a job interview on a bike! JARED: Seeley, I'm not going to the interview. BOOTH: Why? JARED: 'Cause I don't want a job. I'm gonna take this thing and I'm going in a trip. BOOTH: Oh, you're going on a trip? Where? JARED: I've always wanted to see India, without, y'know, spying on Pakistan. BOOTH: Oh, ok, I see. So, you're gonna somehow get this bike to India, ride it around. What if it breaks down? What are you gonna do for parts? JARED: What am I gonna do for parts, if It breaks down in India... That's all you have to say to me? BOOTH: You know what? Just go to the interview (He hands Jared that paper) JARED: Would you... (He grabs Booth's arm) You forgot to tell me to get shots and not talk to stangers. (Booth leaves) Cut to - Jeffersonian Lab, Forensic Platform (Brennan arrives) BRENNAN: So, where you able to match sheets with boys? HODGINS: Believe me, there was enough DNA on these sheets to paint a very clear picture of life at Beta Delta Sigma. CAM: For example, these two boys were carrying on a sexual relationship with each other. HODGINS: Yeah, and those two guys were sleeping with the same girl, although, refreshingly, not at the same time. BRENNAN: What about Beaver? HODGINS: Oh! Lots and lots of DNA. CAM: All of it, his own. BRENNAN: So there's no DNA on any of the sheets that could be Molly Briggs'? CAM: Vaginal contributions were found on eight of the sets of sheets; none from Molly Briggs, but Dr. Hodgins did find something more than semen on Beaver's sheets. HODGINS: Yea, I found evidence of a vegetable-based Lanol, assorted liposomes, Sepigel, and micronized estriol. CAM: Ointment. HODGINS: From the stains positions on the sheets, and its shape, which was approximately three inches long by 1 1/4 inch wide CAM: Okay, we get it! HODGINS: The substance appears to have transferred from the victim's pen1s directly to the bed sheet. BRENNAN: Adolescent males will use almost any available lubricant when m*st*rb*t*ng. CAM: Even estrogen cream? HODGINS: More plausible scenario has got Beaver sexing it up at a different location, and then coming home to his own bed, naked, and I refer you again to the imprint. BRENNAN: s*x with... HODGINS: An older woman, yeah, yeah, most likely menopausal. BRENNAN: Molly Briggs is twenty. CAM: Also, I finished my autopsy and the bullet shot by Greg Harmalard was definitely not the cause of death. BRENNAN: He was dead when it struck him? CAM: For at least 12 hours. BRENNAN: So we still have no cause of death? HODGINS: Well, I got a theory, kid died of dehydration, forgot to replenish his fluids (Hodgins grins while Cam and Brennan wince) Cut to - Beta Delta Sigma frat house (Booth and Brennan enter Beaver's room) BRENNAN: Ok, what are we looking for this time? BOOTH: You know, photos, love notes, I don't know, fur, gray hair, anything that's gonna help us identify Beaver's cougar. BRENNAN: Beaver, otter, cougar, this case is like a day at the zoo! BOOTH: A cougar is an older woman who prefers younger man. BRENNAN: Wouldn't that indicate that every woman is a cougar? BOOTH: Thanks for the insight there, Bones. (Booth picks up a suitcase) Ok, what's the victim's birthday? BRENNAN: 11-05-89 BOOTH: I'm Jared's older brother, you know, he should listen to me. BRENNAN: I can provide you with several societies where younger brothers are required under pry of death to do what their older brothers tell them. BOOTH: I like those societies. BRENNAN: Well, they're mostly extinct now. BOOTH: Did you give me Beaver's birthday the scientific way? BRENNAN: Day, month, year, if you want month-day-year, 05-11-89 (Booth opens the suitcase) BOOTH: Ha-ah! Look at that! So when I ask a question, just answer in American, that's all (Booth open the suitcase, it's full of cash) Whoa, the kid had some cash. BRENNAN: Maybe he was a drug dealer? BOOTH: hmmm BRENNAN: What are those? (She picks up a notebook) some kind of code book? BOOTH: You got that right BRENNAN: Was our victim some kind of spy? BOOTH: Worse! Some kind of bookie. Cut to - Jeffersonian Lab, Angela's office. ANGELA: Well, Booth mostly broke the code. Column one is initials and nicknames, Beaver had approximately fifty regular clients. Column two is the day of the week BRENNAN: What is the significance of this sequence? Foot, bat, pig, dimple, fish BOOTH: Those are sports he took bets on, football, basketball, baseball, soccer, golf ANGELA: Beaver had over two thousand dollars in the suitcase. This whole operation generated twelve thousand Dollars this year. BOOTH: Whoa, no wonder this kid did not want to lose academic standing. ANGELA: Alright, now three of these people, Zimmer, CC and 4x4, they all owed him over three grand, a piece. BRENNAN: Do you think that could be motive? BOOTH: I bet those are the three guys, Sweets said were faking grief. ANGELA: Yeah, that is worth looking into. Ok, I found something else in his computer. A month ago, he hacked in the university's computer system and went straight to the chemistry's professor secure server and downloaded the exam. BOOTH: This guy was a true entrepreneur. ANGELA: Yeah, it was the third time he hacked in the chemistry's page BRENNAN: Who's the professor? ANGELA: Professor Marlene Twardosh BOOTH: Well... Cut to - Jeffersonian Lab ARASTOO: Out of all the damages the victim's remains suffered from the blunderbuss, twenty-three fractures. I discovered only three that occurred before he died. ANGELA: Do any of them offer us cause of death? ARASTOO: I think not. Both wrists sustained compressions fractures, the right radius, the left ulna and significant chipping to both the proximal and distal carpal rows and compressions of the lateral epicondyles. ANGELA: Ouch, what about the third? ARASTOO: Compression fracture, here, at the coccyx and the apex of the sacrum. These injuries appeared to have occurred at the same time. ANGELA: He fell backwards, tried to break his fall with his hands stretch behind him. ARASTOO: Dr. Hodgins had an idea of how to figure out the height from which the victim fell. ANGELA: Oh! That should be good! [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to - Exterior of Middlesex College PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: The FBI is investigating student cheating? Who says America undervalues education? BRENNAN: Did any of your students do suspicioulsy well on your last exam? BOOTH: Starting with James Bouvier PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: Beaver has never done suspiciously well at anything, Agent Booth. He was about to be expelled because he failed my course. BOOTH: Did he show any signs that he wanted to do any better? PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: You mean begging for mercy? Or offering bribes or sexual favors, that sort of things? BRENNAN: Do you use an estrogen cream? (Booth winces at the question) PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: No... I make do with the meager hormones I produce naturally, why? BRENNAN: Did you have sexual intercourse with Beaver? BOOTH: What? (He looks disgusted) PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: I was joking about the sexual favors... BRENNAN: Also about the bribes? (Booth and Twardosh look at each other) PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: My God, you people are humorless. BRENNAN: Five students failed this exam PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: It was a tough exam BRENNAN: They got exactly the same score, 37%, what are the chances of that? PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: I teach chemistry, you'll have to ask professor Doowit in Statistics. BRENNAN: But the same five students did extremely well on the two tests preceding this one... BOOTH: Bones, what are you getting at? BRENNAN: I believe Professor Twardosh realized that those students had stolen her tests in the past and instead of informing the university, she planted a fake test online. BOOTH: To turn her students in? PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: No, that would results in hearings and excuses and tears and parents. I hate parents. BOOTH: Look, your college's experience was with professors, with was with students and jocks. What are you getting at here? BRENNAN: I believe Professor Twardosh took revenge against unethical students who had no respects for knowledge. BOOTH: And you approve? BRENNAN: Yes, I do! Beaver was obviously an emerging criminal (Twardosh smiles) PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: Thank you, I may need you to testify at my termination hearing when the university finds out. BOOTH: Can I ask you a question? What floor is your office on? PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: The third floor BRENNAN: Over grass? PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: Over flagstones. On my bad days, I consider jumping. You're a forensic anthropologist, correct, would it kill me? BRENNAN: No, Professor Twardosh, probably just break a few bones. PROFESSOR TWARDOSH: That's good to know! Cut to- FBI, lobby of Booth's office. (Booth and Sweets are walking in the lobby between the elevators, the kitchen and Booth's office) SWEETS: So, I checked out the nicknames of the kids who owed Beaver money BOOTH: Are those the guys you put down as not being sad he was dead? SWEETS: Huh, yeah, walking pretty fast! BOOTH: Huh, so did any of those three frat guys set off your psycho-killer alarm? SWEETS: No, no, no. They display a fairly banal mix of social awkwardness, narcissism, inappropriate fantasies, all within the normal range. BOOTH: Even the ROTC guy? SWEETS: Well, like most over-achievers, he displays a slight Oedipal neurosis. Will you share with me why you are so agitated? BOOTH: You know what? My brother Jared is ruining his life SWEETS: Oh! He's drinking again? BOOTH: No, I'm pretty sure he was dried out before his Court Martial. SWEETS: Then why the recent urge to self-destruct? BOOTH: I set up a perfectly great job interview for him, but instead he decides he just wants to travel across India on his motorcycle. Yeah, that's right, talk about a narcissistic dependence on stupidity! SWEETS: Uh huh, you are him! BOOTH: This is exactly why I don't talk to you about this kind of things. SWEETS: 'K, I'm gonna suggest that you're jealous of your brother's decision BOOTH: I don't want to go to India. SWEETS: You feel trapped here by the responsible nature of your job, your interpersonal relations. BOOTH: What? SWEETS: Whereas Jared is completely free. BOOTH: I am free! Free as a bird, free to do whatever I want! SWEETS: Yeah, what you're not free to do is control your brother's life. BOOTH: Control Jared? Good luck with that one! SWEETS: It's not for a lack of trying. Of course, you could always get a motorbike and go with him. BOOTH: A motorbike? A motorbike is used for people who deliver pizzas in Amsterdam. Yup. India is large and vast (Sweets gets in the elevator) Right! I'm getting an American motorcycle! Cut to - Jeffersonian Lab HODGINS: This dummy's exactly the same weight as our victim, correct? ARASTOO: 69.853 Kg, yes, and why are we the only ones here? HODGINS: I, uh, asked everyone to leave. Ok, now, I have installed four sensors in the wrists and in the back of the spine so we should be able to gage the height from which the victim fell, within a few centimeters, after only a few trials. ARASTOO: Why did you ask everyone to leave? Are we doing something shameful? HODGINS: Nah, it's just...last time I dropped something from up there, it bounced and injured An (Hodgins realizes he's about to say Angela's name) an innocent bystander, but nobody's here this time, so. (To his laptop) Coccyx text number one, Dr. Jack Hodgins supervising CAM: No, no, no, no HODGINS: I... CAM: no, no, HODGINS: But... CAM: No, stop! This is an unnecessary experiment. The height of the fall can be calculated mathematically. ARASTOO: That is true, but I decided to humor Dr Hodgins so we could bond over a project CAM: Why do you need to bond? ARASTOO: He mistrusts Muslims. (Hodgins nods in agreement) CAM: Go grab a beer together, but I am saying no to this experiment HODGINS: Yeah, I got that during the part where you said no, seven times in a row. CAM: I find that you don't pay attention during the first six. (Cam leaves) HODGINS: He can't drink beer, he's Muslim! Cut to - Angela's office. ANGELA: Hodgins and Arastooo have an estimate if how far the victim fell. CAM: 1.37 meters onto a hard surface. ANGELA: You know what this means, don't you? CAM: Yup! Dr. Brennan is gonna stare at the bones until they speak to her. ANGELA: So, rock, paper, scissors to see who stays to babysits her? CAM: Ok. (Angela pulls a rock, Cam pulls the scissors) ANGELA: Yess! CAM: Best two out of three! (Angela sighs, She pulls the paper while cam pulls the rock) CAM: Damn! Cut to - examination room (Brennan is examining every bone, one by one. She sees a small hole in the sternum) BRENNAN: Cam? (Cam comes in) Booth'll want to know, I found cause of death. CAM: Alright! Cut to - FBI meeting room CAM: Professor Twardosh was not Beaver's s*x partner BOOTH: 'K, did anyone think that? Honestly? Because I did not. BRENNAN: Booth believes that the cringe facto was too high, even though cringe factor is not a valid mathematical construct. BOOTH: Believe me, it is! Ok, so the three boys that owed Beaver money all have alibis. ANGELA: Four people bought the bogus exam from Beaver, all members of the golf team. At the time of his death though, they were at a tournament in North Carolina. BOOTH: Great, so all we know now is that golfers cheat a lot. BRENNAN: We know that Beaver was killed by being stabbed in the chest CAM: A very small hole, perhaps an ice pick, punctured his aorta, he bled to death. BRENNAN: We also know that shortly before he died, he fell backward 1.37 meters, fracturing his wrists and his coccyx. BOOTH: Ok, so he fell backwards, that makes sense ANGELA: Something's bothering me about this. I went through the kid's computer and there's absolutely no indication that he had the skills to hack in the University's secure server. BOOTH: Well, it was probably one of his fraternity brothers that hacked in. BRENNAN: Well, Mister Vaziri and I will figure out exactly what weapon killed Beaver. BOOTH: Right! (Booth turns around to leave) BRENNAN: What are you going to do? BOOTH: Uh, something personal BRENNAN: What? BOOTH: Personal! Personal means personal, you know, not for the public (He leaves) BRENNAN: Uh...I'm not the public! Cut to - Diner (Jared and Booth are having lunch) BOOTH: You know, the roads suck in India, when they're dry and...and they turn into rivers when the monsoons come. I tell you what, trucks don't even give way to anyone. JARED: Will you give the lifeguard thing a rest, Seeley, alright? BOOTH: State department had advised that there's a heighten security concern for anyone travelling alone in India. JARED: Then come with me. I mean that way, now you can watch over me every minute. BOOTH: You know what? Everywhere you've gone, you've always had the full might of the United States government behind you JARED: Yeah, I know. You were a frontline guy, a fire eater and I was just a rear echelon wimp. BOOTH: I never said that JARED: If you're so worried, come along and I'll have the full might of Seeley Booth behind me. BOOTH: Seriously? I didn't think you were serious. JARED: I wasn't when I said it...but now I am. Yeah,I'm serious. BOOTH: You want me to come to India with you. (Jared nods) JARED: Ball's in your court, brother. (He leaves) Cut to - FBI Interrogation room (Sweets is interrogating Eli Rounder) ELI ROUNDER: I'm a freshman pledge; Beaver was kinda like my mentor in the fraternity. SWEETS: When Beaver, your mentor, asked you to hack in Professor Twardosh's files, to steal the test, what did you think? ELI ROUNDER: At first, I said no, but you know what? SWEETS: He was your brother. ELI ROUNDER: That's right. He was a brother who was on academic probation. I mean, he was gonna get expelled if he didn't pass the chem. Course, plus I know it may not have looked like it on the outside, but Beaver was a great guy. So, I had to help him. SWEETS: Our computer experts said some info was erased from Beaver's hard drive, erased by someone who knew what they were doing. (Eli raises his hand) ELI ROUNDER: That was me too. Jpg files, I think about thirty of them. SWEETS: Digital photographs? ELI ROUNDER: Yeah, I didn't see any of them, but before I permanently deleted them, Beaver had asked me to put four specific ones onto a USB drive. So I did it. Look, I told you everything, ok, but if my college finds out that I hacked in the chem test, they're gonna kick me to the curb, ok, they don't care about brothers. SWEETS: Well, I care about brothers, who are great guys, Eli, more importantly, I report to the FBI, not Middlesex College. ELI ROUNDER: Thanks Cut to - Jeffersonian Lab - Angela's office BOOTH: Ok, what have you got? CAM: We found the hacker. He told Sweets he put some very sensitive images in a USB drive for Beaver. BRENNAN: A damaged USB drive was amongst the shrapnel Mr. Vaziri removed from the remains. ` ANGELA: There're four JPG files on this drive. Two of them are total goners, but here's what I got for number three. BOOTH: Concentrate there. That looks like a face ANGELA: Yeah, that's Beaver BRENNAN: Is he being tortured? CAM: Not exactly BOOTH: It's, uh, it's a s*x face, Bones. Can you pull up anything else to ID who he was with? ANGELA: No...but this one's almost done. BOOTH: Whoa BRENNAN: Is that a cougar? CAM: She could be in her forties BOOTH: Ok, print it and we'll see which member of the faculty this one is. Cut to - Jeffersonian Lab, Forensic Platform ARASTOO: There is no accelerated compression of the bone around the wound. BRENNAN: So, the shaft of the weapon was uniform in thickness. If there were no lip on the outside, then we'd know it was a projectile that caused the wound. ARASTOO: Yes, a one-way trip, so to speak, but since there was a lip, we know it was a return trip for the weapon into the aorta and back. As the weapon entered, it was going substantially faster than when it was withdrawn, BRENNAN: A shaft consistent with... (She pulls up a nail) ARASTOO: Someone hammered a nail in the victim then pulled it out? BRENNAN: No, not hammered, Mr. Vaziri, shot. ARASTOO: A nail gun? (She nods) BRENNAN: A nail gun. Cut to - Middlesex College BOOTH: You recognize this woman, Dean Warner. DEAN WARNER: Yes, I know this woman, where'd you get the photo? BRENNAN: Off the victim's computer. BOOTH: Who is she? DEAN WARNER: Her name is Meredith Warner. She's my wife. Cut to - FBI Interrogation room BOOTH: We've been trying to track down you wife, guess what? BRENNAN: It's been a week since anyone saw her. DEAN WARNER: You think I killed my wife and James Bouvier. BRENNAN: Have you seen the photographs before? DEAN WARNER: It was just over a week ago, which was when I suggested to Meredith that it was a good time for her to visit her sister in Toronto. BOOTH: Why was it a good time? DEAN WARNER: Because the boy threatened to put the photos of them together all over the internet if I didn't let him stay in school. BRENNAN: Beaver failed his chemistry test, you were going to expel him. DEAN WARNER: Yeah. I declined to be blackmailed. BRENNAN: Did the photos ever appear on the internet? DEAN WARNER: They did not BOOTH: Is that because you killed Beaver? DEAN WARNER: I have nothing more to say other than I did not kill the boy. I'm even a little sorry that he's dead. So either arrest me and let me call my lawyer or let me go. BOOTH: Okay! Vernon Warner, I am placing you under arrest for the murder of James Bouvier. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to remain silent. Cut to - Car BRENNAN: It doesn't make sense! I mean, logically, it doesn't make sense. BOOTH: Yeah, I know. BRENNAN: But the dean kills the kid with a nail gun and places him in the mascot costume that's full of leftovers. BOOTH: I know, doesn't make sense. BRENNAN: No, that's what I said BOOTH: Exactly, that's what I'm saying too! Doesn't make sense. BRENNAN: Why did you arrest him? BOOTH: Pissed me off, y'know, instead of helping, he starts screaming for a lawyer...Jared wants me to go to India with him. BRENNAN: Indiana? BOOTH: India! OK, Taj Mahal, cows, tigers, cobras, Slumdog Millionaire. BRENNAN: yes...I know. Are you going? BOOTH: We don't like each other. BRENNAN: So...not going? BOOTH: I mean, he's my brother, so I love him. BRENNAN: I'm confused, you are going? BOOTH: I mean, Jared should not go to India alone, he'll get in all kinds of trouble. BRENNAN: You said he's never been alone. BOOTH: Exactly, you know what? He'll get eaten alive BRENNAN: If you go with him, then he won't be alone, you won't let him be bad and his frontal lobe will always be the size of a raison, that's what you said. Makes no scientific sense. BOOTH: Yea, I said that...got it (He nods) Cut to - Jeffersonian Lab (Booth, Brennan and Arastoo are walking towards Brennan's office) ARASTOO: I did an inventory of the nails found in the victim's body. There were thirty-six. BRENNAN: Arastoo, we know the nail that pierced the aorta was pulled out of the victim. ARASTOO: Yes, but I thought, perhaps, the killer didn't throw it away. Perhaps, he simply left it on the body. One never knows. BOOTH: One never does ARASTOO: I examined the nails very carefully for marks that would confirm it was shot from a nail gun. A nail gun leaves distinctive marks, not from the hammering mechanism, you understand, but from the reloading mechanism. BOOTH: Why are you telling me this? ARASTOO: Dr. Brennan said to be especially polite with out when the science is difficult. BOOTH: How stupid do you people think I am? BRENNAN: Booth? BOOTH: Yeah? BRENNAN: Do you recognize this nail? (She shows him the head of the nail, which has a star marking on it) BOOTH: Oh! Cut to - Float room (Booth, Brennan and Sweets enter the room housing the float, which is full of nails with the same star marking. Booth grabs the nail gun that is on the float and gets up on it. He shots a nail on one of the panels, then pulls it out to reveal the same star marking seen on the nail that was found in Beaver's remains. Sweets looks at the reactions from the students, and he singles out Molly Briggs) SWEETS: She's the one you want. Cut to - Interrogation room and the viewing room. (Booth and Brennan interrogate Molly Briggs while Sweets is looking on in the viewing room) MOLLY BRIGGS: Beaver came up to me, I was working on the float he wa always hitting on me. BOOTH: You didn't like Jimmy? MOLLY BRIGGS: Not in the way, y'know? BOOTH: Why did you shoot Beaver with the nail gun? MOLLY BRIGGS: Look, everybody went for a coffee, I stayed. Beaver must have been waiting, cause he shows up and he's all "come on, everybody thinks we're doing it, might as well make it official" and I've been up all night, all night, right, BOOTH: Working MOLLY BRIGGS: So he moves in closer and sticks his tongue right in my mouth. That's assault. BOOTH: Right. That is assault. (Brennan gets up and leaves the room) BOOTH: You're right. That is assault. MOLLY BRIGGS: And y'know, I've got this nail gun and I just pulled the trigger, and Beaver falls off the float, onto his back, and he's hurt. He's hurt with this nail sticking out of his chest and he says "pull it out, pull it out" and I say to him "I've seen on TV, things like this, you leave it in, leave it in" but he pulls it out himself. BOOTH: You're right and he dies (Brennan enters the viewing room) MOLLY BRIGGS: Everybody believed that we were sleeping together; maybe they would believe I killed him. So I put his body in the mascot, before anyone came back. BRENNAN: I Have to admit, I'm impressed you picked her out of the crowd. How did you do it? SWEETS: You're not gonna believe me anyway, you're just gonna say I guessed, so have it your way. I guessed. (He turns to leave) BRENNAN: No, I don't think you're serious. I'd...I'd like to know what you saw! Cut to - Founding Fathers (Booth entersand sits at the bar with Jared) BOOTH: Ok JARED: You're not coming, are you? BOOTH: You really wanted me to? JARED: Does it matter? BOOTH: You know, I was going to. I really was, but uh, I think you should go alone. JARED: You think it's a good idea for me to go to India. BOOTH: Yeah, I do, alone. Our whole lives, as kids, I was always standing behind you. Or you had the Navy stand behind you, but this time, y'know, I think you should stand alone. You don't need your big brother. JARED: So, come as a friend. BOOTH: We both know, I'm not your friend. I'm your big brother. JARED: Yup (They cling bottles) BOOTH: Alright, right, so, got you something. (Booth puts a medallion on the counter) JARED: It's Grandpa's St-Christopher's medallion. BOOTH: Noo, no. It's a new one. I got you that. JARED: Seeley, it looks like the one Grandpa gave you. BOOTH: Nooo, Grandpa gave me mine when I was shipped out to the rangers. This one, I'm giving to you. Patron Saint of Travelers. It kept me safe in Somalia; let's hope it does the same for you in India. Wear it around your neck. JARED: I don't know man, am I alone if I take a Saint with me? BOOTH: You're not alone (Booth smiles) JARED: Thanks (Jared gets up to leave) BOOTH: Hey! Don't forget your jacket! (Jared leaves. Booth goes on the other side of the bar and sits where Brennan joins him) BRENNAN: How'd he take it? BOOTH: Ahh, it's Jared, meaning I have no idea. BRENNAN: So, uh, do you...do you really think you have to be bad to be good? BOOTH: Yeah, I do. BRENNAN: Well, I've never done anything bad. BOOTH: I believe you BRENNAN: I mean, I've made mistakes, of course, but I've never purposely done anything bad. BOOTH: And I believe you. BRENNAN: I don't want my frontal lobe to be a dried up raisin. BOOTH: You know what? We're going to do something bad now! BRENNAN: What? BOOTH: Have you ever dined and dashed? You know the concept, right? We're gonna run outta here without paying the bill. BRENNAN: No...That's stealing BOOTH: That's why they call it bad. We're doing something bad. BRENNAN: No! No! I can't...really? NO BOOTH: Come on (Booth gets up) BRENNAN: No! BOOTH: One BRENNAN: Are you serious? BOOTH: Two BRENNAN: Oh my God! BOOTH: Three Go, go go (She gets up and starts running. Booth takes out a bill from his pocket and leaves it on the bar. He runs after her) BRENNAN: No, No, OH! We're bad. We're bad BOOTH: Get in the car BRENNAN: Woohoo! We're baaaaad! END.

Jimmy 'Beaver' Bouvier is found strung up in the costume of his college mascot, an Otter. Booth and Bones must investigate whether he was dead beforehand or killed during a Middlesex University bonfire event.

fd_Frasier_01x18

fd_Frasier_01x18_0

Act One Scene A: KACL Radio Station. Frasier is doing his show. Frasier: [on-air] Just remember Angela, cosmetic surgery is only a superficial solution. You can lift your eyelids, but it can't lift that little cloud of pessimism that hovers over you. Thank you for your call. So okay Roz, who's our next caller? He looks over to find that Roz's booth is empty. Frasier: Roz? Perhaps this would be a good time to go to commercial break. We'll be right back after these messages. He goes off the air and walks into Roz's booth, looks into the corridor, spots Roz coming back and hides behind the door. Roz comes running in, sits down and realizes Frasier's not where he's supposed to be. Roz: Frasier? [he tilts her seat back so she can see him] Whoa! Hi. Frasier: A little disturbing, looking in the booth and seeing no one there, isn't it? Roz: I'm sorry, but I was up in the newsroom, trying to find out if they've announced the nominations for the SeaBeas yet. Frasier: Oh, I forgot. Are those coming out today? Roz: You forgot? They're only the biggest award in Seattle radio! Frasier: Well, I suppose it's the difference in our ages, but I don't find myself getting excited about... well, much of anything anymore. Noel Shempsky enters. Noel: Congratulations, guys. Frasier: YES!!! Yes, we got a nomination! Roz: Who did you hear it from? Noel: Oh, I haven't heard anything, I was just congratulating you on doing a great show. If anyone deserves a nomination, you guys do. Long Pause. Frasier: [growling] Get out, Noel. Noel: Okay, catch you later. [exits] Frasier: Well I... I guess I'm a little more excited than I let on. Well, it'll be a big feather in my cap to win this, first year in radio and all that? [goes into recording booth] Roz: Are you kidding? I've been in this business for ten years, I've never produced a show that got nominated for anything. [phone rings, she answers] Hello? Oh hi, Millie. You're kidding. You're kidding! [Frasier comes racing back] Oh, you're kidding, that's great! Thanks, bye. [puts phone down] Frasier: We got the nomination! Roz: No, Millie in Promotions is getting married! Frasier: DAMN IT, ROZ! [SCENE_BREAK] Scene B: Cafe Nervosa. Frasier and Niles are having coffee. Niles: And then she said she'd been seeing someone else. She couldn't keep living a lie. I was dumbfounded. I mean, what about everything we'd gone through together, didn't that mean anything to her? Frasier: Niles, a patient has a right to change therapists. Bebe Glaser, Frasier's unscrupulous agent, walks in. Bebe: Frasier! Thank God. Frasier: Bebe, what are you doing here? Bebe: What kind of agent would I be if I weren't the first to tell you that you've been nominated for a 1994 SeaBea! Frasier: [jumps up] I WAS NOMINATED! I WAS NOMINATED! He notices everyone in the room is looking at him, so he sits down. Frasier: Well, I was. Bebe: Yes. You, Frasier Crane M.D., PhD, S-T-U-D, are the man of the hour. [notices Niles] Bebe Glaser, Frasier's agent. Niles: Dr. Niles Crane, Frasier's brother. Bebe: You're not a psychiatrist too? Niles: Yes. Bebe: Oh, please! If I'm ever to have a breakdown, let me have it now! [to Niles] Double-double decaf, to go. Frasier: So, this, ah, this is quite a surprise, you know. Actually I'd, ah, forgotten that the nominations were coming out today. Bebe: Oh, isn't he precious? You must be very proud of Frasier. Niles: Well actually... no. This nomination is just one more signpost on the low road of celebrity which my brother has chosen for himself. Frasier: Well, that's not sibling rivalry rearing its vicious little green snout? Niles: Absolutely not. I'm still in the minority who still believes that psychiatry is a noble profession that is tarnished by such things as popularity contests, not to mention a bouncy little radio program. Bebe: I bet you two had wicked little hair-pulling fights when you were tots. Both Niles and Frasier touch their hair. Niles: Yes, well. This has been delightful, but I really must run. I'm due at my sexual addiction group, and I don't like to leave them alone for too long. [he leaves as Roz enters] Roz: Frasier? Frasier: Roz! Roz: Frasier, Frasier, Frasier! Frasier: Roz, Roz, Roz! [they hug and do a little dance] Roz: We did it! Frasier: I know! Come and sit down. You know, I've never really won anything before. Although back in prep school, the Existentialist Club once named me "Most Likely To Be." Roz: You want to hear the greatest part? I've already got a date for the ceremony - Brad MacNamara. Frasier: The Channel Eight reporter? "Television's Most Handsome Man." Roz: Yes. You know, for months he wouldn't give me the time of day, but one nomination and he knew who I was. Bebe: Who are you? Roz: I'm Roz Doyle. Frasier's producer. Bebe: Oh, yes that's right, I've seen you bring him coffee. By the way, would you mind getting mine? Frasier: I'd better get myself on the ball here, I've got a lot to do. Bebe: Oh, not really, darling. I've already got your tux, rented you a limo and your tickets will be waiting for you at the door. Frasier: Well... seems the only thing you haven't taken care of is finding me a date. Bebe: Your subtlety floors me, I'd love to. I am thrilled, thrilled, thrilled for you both. I've got to run. Two of my other clients weren't nominated and I have to tell them what a worthless award this is. [SCENE_BREAK] ROZ AND FRASIER HATCH A MERRY PLAN Scene C: Frasier's Apartment. He is opening a bottle of champagne. Martin and Daphne are watching. Frasier: Daphne, you may not be aware of this, but there is a special secret to opening a bottle of champagne, especially a fine French champagne as unprepossessing as this one - two hundred dollars a bottle. In order to prevent spillage, one does not simply twist out the cork. Instead, one holds the cork stationary, you see, and then gives the bottle three easy turns. One... The cork flies out with a loud POP, champagne gushes everywhere. Frasier: OH, GOD! Oh no, get some glasses! Eddie starts licking the spillage from the table. Frasier shoos him away. Frasier: Eddie, get away from there, you mangy little cur! Oh, Lord. Oh well, that wasn't too bad, I believe we've salvaged most of it. Martin: I'd say this calls for a toast. To my number one son. Congratulations on your first nomination for... well, anything. Frasier, I'm proud of you. Frasier: Thanks, dad. Means a lot to me. Martin exits to the kitchen as Daphne sips her champagne. Daphne: Mmm. Oh, this champagne is delicious. Frasier: Mmm. It's quite exquisite, isn't it? Dad, what do you think? Martin returns from the kitchen with a beer, which he pours into his champagne glass. Martin: I was in the mood for something domestic. Daphne: You know, I must say, Dr. Crane, it's awfully nice that, although I'm an employee here, you include me in all the family celebrations. Frasier: Well Daphne, there's never been any doubt that I, I think of you as my equal in every way. The doorbell rings. Frasier sits down while Daphne sips her champagne. When it rings again, Frasier glares at her until she moves. Daphne: [sarcastically] Oh, I'll get it. Frasier: Oh, would you? Daphne: Would you like me to announce your visitor? Frasier: Oh, just answer the door! Daphne: [answering door] Oh, hello Roz. Roz: [entering] Daphne. Martin: Roz! Roz: Hey. Daphne: Congratulations. Roz: Oh, thanks. You know, I couldn't believe it myself. Brad MacNamara! Frasier: Roz, I believe she was referring to your SeaBea nomination? Daphne: No, I meant Brad MacNamara. Oh, do you think he wears any pants under that desk? Roz: Not on my TV. They laugh like schoolgirls, complete with catcalls and air-pumping. Frasier: Girls, can we just cut out the pajama party, please? Roz: [to Martin] Hello, Mr. C. Martin: [taps his cheek] Hey Roz, how's my girlfriend? Roz: Well, [gives him a kiss] she's nominated. Daphne: How about a glass of champagne? Apparently it's French and unprepossessing. Frasier: Oh Daphne, save your breath. It could come out of a box and Roz would have a glass of it. Daphne: You know, I must say, I am so proud of you, Roz, being recognized in a male-dominated industry. It's one more step forward for working women. You're a credit to our gender. Roz: Well, thank you Daphne. Oh, that reminds me, do you have a push-up bra I could borrow? Daphne: I'll go and look. [exits] Roz: Thanks. [to Frasier] I'm sorry to barge in like this, but I had to show you this, Frasier. [retrieves a piece of newspaper from her bag] I've got a friend over at "Broadcast Magazine" who sent me a copy. It's a full-page ad. Frasier: [reading] "Wendy Ashiro wishes to thank the members of the voting committee for her nomination, and hopes they consider her for the award." This is nothing but shameless self- promotion. It's in very bad taste. Roz: I know. What are we gonna put in our ad? Martin: Wendy Ashiro's up against you for this award? Oh, I like her, she's a cutie. Frasier: You're not suggesting we put our own ad in this thing? Roz: Frasier, we're falling behind. Mike Sanchez has already sent out tapes of his show. Martin: Mike Sanchez? Oh, I like him. Roz: And who knows what Fletcher Grey's doing? Martin: Fletcher Grey? Frasier: THANK YOU, DAD! [to Roz, about the ad] Well, all right, I - just as long as it's tasteful and understated. Roz: Great. I'll call my friend, and have him work something up for us. Frasier: No, wait a minute, wait a minute, we really want to stand out, why run another boring old ad? We should do something different, something unique. Roz: Hey, I heard last year's winner threw a big cocktail party. Frasier: Okay, okay, we could do that, but we should do something else, something to keep our names in their minds. You know what I mean? Uh, I know. Personalized gifts, uh, from oh, the new Tiffany's catalogue. [picks it up] Roz: That's good. That's it. Frasier: I saw the most incredible cigarette cases in here. Roz: No, no. No cigarette cases, it sends out a bad message. Frasier: Oh, yeah. Roz: Ooh, how about a silver flask? Frasier: No, we've already got your vote, Roz. Martin: Hold on a minute. Look, I may not know anything about show- business, but when you start sending out gifts to people who can do something for you, that's called bribery. Frasier: It's a simple "Thank you" for a nomination. Martin: Well, I'm glad to hear that. [takes catalogue] Because if I had to give somebody a gift to get an award, it's not worth having. Might as well just go on down to the trophy store and buy one yourself. [throws catalogue on fire, then exits] Frasier and Roz sit down dejectedly. Silence for a moment, then- Roz: I really want that award. Frasier: Me too! Roz: Get that catalogue! They both make a dash for the fireplace. End of Act One. Act Two. THE PLOT THICKENS Scene A: The Seattle Broadcast Awards. A black tie affair. Martin and Frasier are standing by the door. Martin: Well, you coming in or not? Frasier: Dad, this is a big moment for me. I want to drink it in. Martin: Me, too. Where's the bar? They enter, followed by a hobbling Daphne. Daphne: Hey, not so fast. Me shoes are killing me. I hate these shoes, I should never have let that salesgirl talk me into getting them. Martin: They look real good on you, though. Daphne: [brightening up] You think so? A man calls Frasier over. Peterson: Dr. Crane? Bob Peterson, voting committee. [they shake hands] Frasier: Hi, Bob. Peterson: Look, I just wanted to wish you good luck tonight. Frasier: Thank you, thank you. Peterson: Oh, and uh, thanks for the bathrobe. Frasier: Oh, it's nothing. People get out of the shower, they're cold. A woman comes over as Peterson leaves. Woman: Dr. Crane. Love the watch. [indicates her wristwatch] Frasier: It's nothing, really. It's a pretty good likeness of me though, isn't it? Daphne: Can we please sit down? I have got to sit down. [she sits at the nearest table] Frasier: Daphne, we're at table eight. This isn't our table. Daphne: [ripping up the card with the table number on it] It is now. Martin: [indicating distinguished man] Hey, isn't that Fletcher Grey? Frasier: Oh yes, I believe it is. Martin: Oh boy, you really got your work cut out for you here. Let me tell you, that guy's a class act. I been listening to him for twenty years. You know, I don't usually do this, but I'm going over to shake his hand. [leaves table as Roz enters] Roz: Hey, guys. Frasier: Oh, Roz. There's my fellow nominee. Roz: Frasier, those gifts were such a great idea. Everybody's talking about them. Frasier: I know. Did you see the valet parking board? Half the key chains there are ours! Roz: Look, Frasier, this is a very big night for me, so please, PLEASE don't spoil it by making fun of who I brought. Frasier: I thought you were bringing Brad MacNamara? Roz: Well I was, but he got called out on a story at the last minute. Some hospital went up in flames. Do you know anyone who has worse luck than I do? Roz's date enters. It's Noel. Noel: Hi, Dr. Crane. [gives Vulcan peace salute] Frasier: Oh, hi Noel. [to Roz, quietly] Noel Shempsky's your date? Roz: Mmm-hmm. Noel: [arrives at table and puts his arm around Roz] A tip, Dr. Crane? If you're ever nominated again, there's a metered parking block three blocks away. They don't check after six! [to Roz] Oh, here are the car keys so you can drive us home. [to Frasier] I have night blindness. [goes to table] Roz: I wish I did. Noel: [sits next to Daphne] Hi. I'm Noel. Daphne: Nice to meet you. Can you rub my feet? Frasier: Daphne! Niles arrives. Niles: Good evening, everybody. Frasier: Oh, hi Niles. Listen, thank you so much for coming. I know how you feel about this award, and about coming downtown after dark. Niles: Don't be silly. You're my brother and I wouldn't miss a gala affair like this. Hello, Daphne. Daphne: Can you rub my feet? Niles: Yes. Frasier: [stopping him] Niles. So, where's Maris? Niles: Well, we were just getting ready to leave the house, when Maris got a glimpse of herself in the hall mirror... Frasier: Niles, at the end of this story, will I roll my eyes? Niles: I did. Frasier: Well then, just skip it. Listen, get me a scotch, will you? Martin: [returning] That Fletcher Grey, he's aces. Would you believe he remembered me from 1968? Frasier: No! Martin: Yeah, I was working on a murder case he was covering. He just looked at me and said, "Hey, you're the guy who found the head." He's been nominated for this award eleven times and he's never won it. Frasier: Really? Jeez, I didn't know that. Daphne: Well, I'm afraid he's just going to have to lose again, right Dr. Crane? Martin: Well, if he does you can always cheer him up by sending him something nice from your little gift shop. Fletcher Grey comes over to the table. Fletcher: Dr. Crane? Frasier: Fletcher Grey! Fletcher: Been meaning to come over and wish you luck. Even though I don't think you need it. Frasier: Well, that's very kind. I, I hardly think I have a chance against you tonight. Fletcher: Well you know, I hope you're right? I'd really love to win it this time. Eleven losses in a row, it's starting to get a little embarrassing. Frasier: Oh, don't be silly. You'd have to lose fifteen, sixteen times before you'd feel the least bit ashamed. Fletcher: Would you believe I even considered campaigning for it this year? You know, sending out gifts, throwing one on those parties. Bet you'd have something to say on your radio program about someone who's THAT self-absorbed. Martin: I bet he could do a whole hour on it. Fletcher's Mom comes over. [SCENE_BREAK] Mrs. Grey: Fletcher dear, they're starting to serve the salads. Fletcher: Oh, Mom. [to Frasier] I'm sixty years old, and I'm still her little boy. Dr. Crane, I'd like you to meet my mother, Hannah. Frasier: What a pleasure, Hannah. Nice to meet you. Fletcher: Mom just flew in from Scottsdale. This is her eleventh year. Mrs. Grey: I hope he wins it this time. It's getting harder and harder to get on that plane. Fletcher: Mom, why don't you go back to the table before your legs swell up? I'll get you another Pink Lady. No, no mom, over there. They go back to their table as Bebe arrives. Bebe: Sorry I've been detained, dear. Frasier: Oh hi, Bebe. Bebe: Civilization will not advance one iota until they start putting more toilets in the ladies room. Niles returns with Frasier's scotch. Frasier: Oh, thank you Niles. Bebe: [to Niles] Some champagne. Noel: Ah, a diet root beer? Niles leaves to get the drinks. Bebe: I have to tell you that the buzz in line was that all those lovely gifts you've been sending have really paid off. It looks like you're in a neck-and-neck race with Fletcher Grey, that wrinkled old war... [notices Martin] ...rt. Hello, Mr. Crane. You're even more handsome than the last time I saw you. If I were twenty years older they couldn't keep me away from you. Martin: That's why I keep this cane. The ceremony begins as Keith Bishop, the emcee, takes the podium. Keith: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Would everybody please take their seats? I'm Keith Bishop, and I'd like to welcome you to the fifteenth annual SeaBea awards. Assisting me tonight in handing out the awards is Miss SeaBea 1994, Tawny Van Deusen. As the Emcee carries on with the ceremony, Frasier talks to Roz. Frasier: Listen Roz, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable about all the campaigning we did. Did you know Fletcher Grey has been nominated eleven times and never won? He didn't lift a finger to win this thing. Roz: Frasier, don't worry about him. Besides, he can win it next year. Keith: Before we start this evening's program, I'd like to take this moment to make a very sad announcement. I just found out moments ago that the dean of Seattle radio, my mentor Fletcher Grey, will be retiring this year. All: Awww... Keith: Take a bow, Fletcher. Fletcher does so, to the applause of the audience. Keith: Well, we're gonna start things off with a bang. The award for "Outstanding Achievement For Informational Programming in Radio..." Roz: That's us, that's us! Keith: Whoops. Can't see a thing without my glasses. Frasier: You know, Fletcher Grey really deserves this award. If we win, can't we just not accept it? Roz: [grabbing him by the shirt] Listen, Frasier! I have waited ten years to get this award and if I have to crawl over Fletcher Grey's mother to get it, I'll DO IT! Frasier: Roz, I... I've never seen you like this before. Roz: It isn't pretty, is it? Keith: The nominations: "Community Forum," Wendy Ashiro, talent, Mike Freedman, producer. Light applause. Keith: "Consumer Update," Mike Sanchez, talent, T.J. "Chester" Nuevo, producer. More light applause. Keith: "The Frasier Crane Show," Dr. Frasier Crane, talent, Roz Doyle, producer. Still more light applause. Keith: "Fletcher Grey: From Where I Sit," Fletcher Grey, talent, Fletcher Grey, producer. There is a huge round of applause.] Keith: And the envelope, please? Frasier: If we win this thing, they're gonna lynch us! Roz: So what? At least everyone will see my dress. Keith: Well... this is a first. It seems we have a tie. Frasier: Good. We can share it with Fletcher. Roz: I don't want to share it! I'm already sharing it with you! Keith: And the winners are... Wendy Ashiro and Mike Sanchez! Frasier: What?? Roz: What!! Mrs. Grey: What? [SCENE_BREAK] THE THRILLING DENOUEMENT Scene B: Time Lapse. The staff are cleaning up. Roz and Frasier are still drowning their sorrows. Martin: Well, the party's over. Are you coming home? Frasier: No, dad. Martin: Then I'll guess we'll just go on without you. Frasier: Fine with me. Martin: Listen, Frasier. I don't agree with the way you went about it, but I'm still sorry that you lost. It's never easy to lose. Frasier: Thanks, dad. Martin: Of course, if you were to have joined some organized sports when you were a kid, when the lessons of winning and losing could have been learned at an early age, you might have... Frasier: DAD! Martin: All right. Sorry, wrong time. We'll talk about it tomorrow, over breakfast. Okay, Daphne. Let's get you home, and soak your feet in some hot Epsom Salts. Daphne: Oh, I have the life of a princess. [they leave] Noel: Don't feel bad, Roz. it's an honor just to get a nomination. Roz: Will you stop saying that? Noel: Okay. I'm leaving. Roz: Oh Noel, I'm sorry, I'm just despondent. [he waits, expectantly] ...No no, go ahead. [waves him away] Frasier: ROZ! Roz: Noel? Noel? I'm sorry. Thank you. I'll see you at work, on Monday? He shows her the thumbs-up sign and leaves. Fletcher comes over. Fletcher: How you guys doing? Roz: Well, I've been better. Niles enters, hands Fletcher a drink, then leaves. Fletcher: You know, when you feel this sting of losing, you have to realize that it all boils down to the fact that it's not about awards. It's not about accolades. It's about a body of work. If you can look at yourself in a mirror and say you've done a good job, that's all that matters. If you can do that, let the awards fall where they may. He leaves. Frasier: Wow. All those nominations, nothing to show for it, he still walks out of here with his head held high and a smile on his face. Roz: [bursting into tears] I'm never going to get nominated for a SeaBea again! Frasier: Oh, come on Roz. Roz: I mean it, I'm not! Frasier: Oh, no. Roz: The world is full of winners and losers, and I'm just a loser! Frasier: Aw, I wouldn't be with you if you were a loser. Come on, we're a team. Look, before we're done, we're gonna win lots of these things. You and I are amigos, compadres, okay? Now listen, I am not gonna leave your side until I see a little smile on that face. Tawny, Miss SeaBea, wanders toward Frasier. Tawny: Dr. Crane? I really love your show, and I was just wondering, would you like to have a drink with me? Frasier: [to Roz] Do I see the beginning of a little smile? Roz: Oh, go ahead. Frasier: Thanks, Roz. He gets up and leaves with Tawny Frasier: So, it's a very interesting name you have. Tawny: You mean Miss SeaBea? Frasier: Well actually, I, er... yeah. End of Act Two. [SCENE_BREAK] Roz and Fletcher's Mom are having a drink together. When Roz has another crying jag, Mom takes the opportunity to steal her drink.

Frasier discovers that he has been nominated for a local broadcasting award, and becomes obsessed with winning it.

fd_Justified_05x06

fd_Justified_05x06_0

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Wendy: What's he doing here? Raylan: I'm checking on the child's welfare. How you doing, Kendal? Darryl: This family needs to stay together. Wendy: To wit, you need to find a fit place for that boy to lay his head. Jean Baptiste: A man that just talks is no man. Danny: [ Chuckles ] That's not the way you should be talking to me, homie. Jean Baptiste: [ Groans ] Kendal: Oh, my God. You killed him. Danny: Ain't gonna tell nobody? Kendal: I won't say a word. Boyd: You turn over my cousin Johnny and you agree right now to help me smuggle heroin across the border from Mexico. You know what kind of deep sh1t you'd be in... If you did... This? Ava: Oh, my God. Bye-bye, honey. She shanked the guard! You know, there's a rumor going around that a federal lawman was instrumental in the death of Nicky Augustine. Picker said he was there on the tarmac, watched the whole thing go down. Want to guess who he said it was? Special agent Barkley. Raylan: It wasn't Barkley. And I can tell you that for a fact. [ Thunder rumbling ] [ Indistinct conversations ] [SCENE_BREAK] [ Billiard balls clack ] Raylan: Art. [ Grunts ] Art: [ Groans ] On this lonely road Trying to make it home Doing it by my lonesome Pissed off, who wants some? I'm fighting for my soul God get at your boy You try to bogard Fall back, I go hard On this lonely road Trying to make it home Doing it by my lonesome Pissed off, who wants some? I see them long, hard times to come [ buzzer sounds ] [ Door opens ] [SCENE_BREAK] [ Indistinct shouting ] [ Buzzer sounds ] [ Door closes ] [ Birds chirping ] [ Train whistle blows in [ distance ] [ Bell clanging ] [ Both laugh ] Boyd: Oh! Damn, son, you always were a size! Whoo! Boyd: I'll never forget the day you stepped off that bus at Elkton, gills out to here. I said, "now, that right there is a fish we can turn into a shark!" Yeah, reminding me that I owe you. Boyd: Well, I don't think you would need reminding. Boyd: Now, how long you gonna make me stand here before you offer me a drink? [ Laughs ] You know I know you were the one that taught me how to jail. Boyd: Everything! Helped free myself from mongrelization. Actually, from what I hear, you could use a little refresher on that your own self. Boyd: Yeah? How's that? [ Liquid pours ] You really start a church that lets in coloreds? Boyd: Well, I believe I also taught you never let politics stand in the way of business. What kind of business you and I got? Boyd: Well, you had a sister, as I recall, up in pine point. Actually, all three of my sisters done a stretch up in there. Boyd: But one of them is still in. Gretchen. You know, an attitude like her's, it's gonna be awhile before she takes a walk in a yard without a fence. Boyd: Hmm. Now, actually, I got a call from Gretchen this very morning. Said a girl with the last name Crowder got busted in there for some set-to in Harlan lockup. I guess that ain't no coincidence. Boyd: Why, no, it is not. Gunnar Swift, I don't remember you being this sly. Well, you're the one that taught me... brawn's not enough. Boyd: Neanderthals were so strong, their muscles would bend their bones. You see a neanderthal walking around with a cellphone? [ Chuckles ] [ Sighs ] Who's the girl? As far as I recall, you don't have a sister. Boyd: Well, for simplicity's sake, let's just call her my wife. Congratulations. And you want Gretchen to see that's she's looked after, huh? Boyd: Mm. For how long? Boyd: As long as it takes. [ Inhales sharply ] Well, Gretchen's gonna need a little money for her commissary. Boyd: Well, this should keep her in tuna and kool-aid for a little while. [ Glasses clink ] [ Crickets chirping ] [ Doorbell rings ] [ Chelsea barking ] Alison: [ Gasps ] [ Sighs ] Darryl: Are you Kendal's social worker? Alison: We're not supposed to enter the house if there's a dog on the loose. Darryl: Danny, come get your animal! Most times, they bark so they ain't got to bite. Alison: Yeah. It's just, uh... Danny: Chelsea! Alison: It's more a liability thing than, uh, anything. When there's a dog living in the home, technically, we're required ...Darryl: Dog don't live in the home. Dog lives outside. Danny: Yeah, don't mind Chelsea. He just gets excited when he smells something he likes. Alison: Are Kendal and Wendy here? Darryl: No, they ain't here. They at the store. We didn't expect you till later. Alison: Yeah, the drive was faster than I thought. Darryl: All right. Well, come on in. Don't be a jitterbug. Danny gonna put the dog outside. Go on. Put the dog outside, man! Let that dog sh1t. Danny: I'll get acquainted with you later. Wendy: Little help here! Hey! Anybody! [ Door closes ] Oh, hi! Wanted to have some hors d'oeuvres out for you... show you this is a nice, hospitable, Christian home. Alison: Oh, I know. I'm sor... I'm early. Wendy: Oh. Kendal: Couldn't wait to see me again, huh? Wendy: That's enough, Romeo. Head on up to your room. Do your homework. Let Ms. Brander do her job. Kendal: Talking to me is her job. I mean, who else's wellness is she here to check on? Wendy: Well, actually, she's not allowed to speak to you directly unless she has a warrant or some sort of exigent circumstance. Isn't that right? Alison: Actually, it's a little more complicated than that. Wendy: Go on up to your room. Darryl: When you done, I'll come up there... we throw some bones. Wendy: So, uh... Darryl: Dominoes. Alison: Hmm. Wendy: Darryl give you the tour? What's the verdict? This place fit for human habitation? Alison: What happened in Miami? Wendy: Oh. Well, I decided my place there's too small. A teenage boy takes up some space. Alison: This place has a lot of that. Wendy: Mm-hmm. Alison: Do you happen to have the rental agreement for the home? Wendy: Yeah, of course. I'll go get that for you. [ Inhales sharply ] Um... Say, how long have you been going with that marshal? Alison: What makes you think... Wendy: Oh, stop. I have an eye for that sort of thing. Of course, if you ask me, I think he's about the most judgmental asshole I ever hope to meet, but I will allow he's easy to look at. Of course, you put those things together, you probably got the perfect recipe for a man just about guaranteed to break your heart. I have an eye for that sort of thing, too. There you go. I made an extra copy for you, special. Alison: Thank you. [ Chelsea snarling ] Danny: [ Muttering ] Oh, that's good, Chelsea. Oh, it's good, Chelsea. Yeah. Yeah. Leaving so soon, Ms. Alison? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Play with Chelsea? Want to pull on the rope? Yeah, yeah! Come on! [ Chelsea growling ] Yeah! [ Grunting ] Yeah. Don't you run. Yeah? Chelsea will chase you if you run. Huh? [ Barks ] [ Chuckles ] Alison: [ Sighs ] Danny: [ Barks ] Don't you run. [ Barking ] [ Chuckles ] [ Crickets chirping ] [ Engine revving ] Alison: [ Gasping ] [ Tires screeching ] [ Door beeping ] Danny: [ Barking ] Alison: [ Groans ] Danny: [ Laughing ] Whoo! [ Door closes ] Alison: [ Groans ] Art: Anything else? Rachel: I hear Theo's refusing to talk at all. Wouldn't even tell the doctors his blood type. Art: Of course not. He's got integrity. Tim: Plus, problem with being top of the food chain is you can't dime out the guys above you. I mean, we already got bin laden. Okay, are we seriously not gonna talk about it? Rachel: Talk about what, your Bin Laden joke? Not your best. Tim: Raylan's eye. What, did you slip in art's shower? Remember? 'Cause that's how Art hurt his hand. Raylan: That bullet-counting thing. Art: What, the inventory? Raylan: I'll do it. Art: Thank you, Raylan. I appreciate that. Rachel: I'll help. You said they wanted it asap, right? Art: Yep. Raylan: We ought to come up with a good excuse. People see us going into storage together, might get some funny ideas. Rachel: Why wouldn't we just tell them the truth? Raylan: That we volunteered for inventory? [ Elevator bell dings ] Rachel: Okay, yeah. We need an excuse. Alison: Before you say anything... What the hell happened to your face? Raylan: You first. [ Indistinct conversations ] Darryl: J.B., where you at, man? Getting a little concerned. Call me back, man. [SCENE_BREAK] Danny: Maybe he shacked up with one of them hookers. Darryl: Yeah. Danny: Want to check the trailers? Darryl: Mm. You sure you ain't heard from him? Danny: Not a word. Darryl: Mm. Nothing, huh? It ain't like him to go M.I.A. Danny: Yeah, well, a lot of hillbillies around here. You know? Maybe he's swinging from a tree. Darryl: Oh, bullshit, man. Ain't none of them up to task. Don't suppose you got any ideas where Baptiste is, huh? Kendal: No. Darryl: Hold up. You sure there ain't something you ain't telling me? 'Cause if there is, you best spill. Danny: Darryl, I mean... Darryl: But I asked you. You ain't have nothing to say. Danny: Well, I didn't want to cause any trouble. Darryl: About what? Danny: Well, I'll tell you. Look, Baptiste... he was... he was talking a lot of sh1t about you. Darryl: Saying what? Danny: You know, that... you know you... he didn't... he didn't have enough money and that you couldn't provide. Darryl: Provide? Danny: And I told him. That's exactly what I told him. I said, "listen, here, darkness. Okay? You ever talk about my brother like that again, I'll cut you. Yeah, and then he said, you know, he should have stayed in Florida, and I said, "well, get your dumb ass back to Florida." And he said, "maybe I would." Just like that. Darryl: You heard him talking sh1t like that? Kendal: Yeah. Just like Danny said. Darryl: Now, if he had a problem, why his bitch ass didn't come and say something to me? Danny: Oh, he's... he's a pussy, you know. He probably didn't want to be talked out of it. [ Clang ] Come on, you dumb bitch! Darryl: Go one and deal with that, man! Danny: Hey! Stop that woman! Hey! Come here! I didn't do nothing. Hey! [ Elevator bell dings ] Rachel: She gonna be all right? Raylan: She'll be fine. Rachel: Why didn't she call the cops? Raylan: Guessing 'cause she was worried they'd give her a field test. Rachel: Booze? Pot? Wow, she just keeps getting better. How come you pushed basement? Raylan: That's where you count bullets. Rachel: Please. I'm going with you. Raylan: Where am I going? Rachel: You're going down to Harlan to kick Danny Crowe's ass. Raylan: Fine. You can drive. [ Crow squawking ] How long you have it? Dewey: Not long enough. Why are you getting rid of it? Dewey: Hitting the road. I need some traveling money. All right! I'll take it. Let's load her up! [ Grunts ] Wait. The hell's that? Dewey: Oh, that there's the minor cosmetic damage. I put it on the sign. Cosmetic? This thing is blown to sh1t! It ain't no pool! It's junk! $800, my ass. Dewey: How much you want to give me, then? [ Exhales sharply ] Give you 20 bucks, take it straight to the scrap yard. Dewey: How far am I supposed to get on 20 bucks? I paid $1,000 for this thing! Yeah, well, when you did, it held water! 20 bucks, final offer. Dewey: This here pool was my dream. I ain't selling it for no 20 bucks! Then I ain't wasting no more time. Oh, sh1t! Dewey: In fact, I ain't gonna sell it at all! I ain't giving up on my dream! [ Engine turns over ] I ain't giving up on my dream! Danny: [ Grunts ] Dewey: Danny! What the hell happened? Danny: What's it matter? Guys around here think buying a drink buys them a license to talk sh1t. Now, which one's his? Dewey: It's that one there, I believe. Danny: [ Grunting ] Oh, God. This whole place is ass-backwards, Dewey. You know that? How you doing, sweetheart? Yeah, God damn it, I was having a good hair day. Dewey: Can I ask you something, Danny? Danny: [ Grunts ] Dewey: If I get Darryl the money I paid Boyd for Audry's, do you really think he'd leave Kentucky? Danny: Well, you produce that type of cash, we'd all like to cut this sh1t hole loose. Hey. Danny: [ Sighs ] Go to sleep, ginger. [ Panting ] I see your wheels turning there, cousin. Huh? Need I remind you, we leaned pretty hard on Crowder ourselves and he didn't budge. Dewey: I know. Danny: So, what's your idea? Dewey: We grab him, put a gun to his head, tell him to hand over the money or he's a dead man. Danny: [ Chuckles ] [ Laughs ] You're a goddamn genius. You know that? [ Laughs ] [ Buzzer sounds ] Ava: When do I get to see Boyd? First things first. I'm having you released into gen pop. Boyd lined someone up to watch your back. Ava: Why does my back need watching? You're young. You're pretty. You shived a guard. So the officers... Ava: I didn't do that. You know that, right? Look, I know that you and Boyd paid me to stick headphones in my ears, but I assure you, I am a good lawyer. Ava: You got a line on the officer? He went to ground. Nobody knows where. Might have relatives out of state. We're looking into that. Ava: The way he was, he must of tried to screw others before me. We're looking into that, too. Ava: You looking into security cameras showing that I didn't do it? All the ones in that area were turned off. [ Buzzer sounds ] Ava: [ Sighs ] Boyd send a message at least? He did. Ava: Can you help me? We're closed! Well, I must say, you're about the last person I'd expect to walk in here. Dewey: Where's Boyd? Why? You want to apologize? Dewey: For what? Sending your idiot cousin over here to try and shake us down. Dewey: I didn't send him. Did you really think you could muscle Boyd Crowder? Dewey: All I think is, you don't know the things I done. You hear what happened to messer? I ain't messer. Danny: Hey. Easy up there, partner. Hey. Look right here. How you doing? Why don't you just tell us where the big boss man is? Don't suppose you're Darryl Jr., huh? 'Cause I heard he was a big son of a bitch. Danny: I'm plenty big enough for you. Think so? Danny: Yeah. [ Breathes deeply ] You get that out of a cereal box? Dewey: I told you. You got no idea what I'm capable of. Now tell us where Boyd is. You're about to step off a mighty high ledge, Dewey. Danny: Oh, don't you worry, 'cause I'll catch him. Yeah? Danny: Yeah. Well, who's gonna catch you? Danny: [ Grunting ] Dewey: What the hell are we supposed to do now? Danny: [ Panting ] Plan "B." Dewey: What the hell is plan "B"? Danny: We see how much Boyd's gonna pay for his guy. [ Knock on door ] [ Sighs ] Berto, my man. Been a long time. Yes, it has. Wynn Duffy, Boyd Crowder, this is Alberto Ruiz. Wynn: And you must be Mr. Yoon. And how do you know that? Oh, the one wonton among the tortillas? Boyd: I would have said "kimchi in the salsa." That was good. See, the Aenikkaeng were slaves from Korea brought over to Mexico to work in plantations. Boyd: I know. I've read a lot of books about slavery. Wynn: He's a history buff. And some people think that I would be offended if you point out the incongruity. Boyd: Well, I assume you want it pointed out. And why would I want that? Wynn: Because it suggests you're very good at what you do. I think Mr. Picker told you we require payment up front. Boyd: He did. But we were hoping to come to a different understanding. The hell is this, Boyd? I gave these guys my word... Wynn: We've had some bad experiences lately with the pay-up-front business model. Well, fortunately, the people I represent rely on me precisely because they know I'm not like them. I dislike beheadings, gentleman. Boyd: So do we. It's bad for business. And the fact is, the money in that bag would only buy you insurance against my employers feeling taken advantage of if anything should go wrong in our transaction, so I'm willing to proceed without it. I do want to make sure you understand that my employers would never let anything jeopardize their reputation as men not to be crossed. And if, at any point, their reputation needs to be re-established... It won't be me they send. Boyd: Well, I assume we have a deal. [ Knock on door ] Crowder! [ Lock turns ] You're moving. Pack your sh1t. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Indistinct conversations ] You wanted out of that cell? Welcome to gen pop. Yeah. Ow! Yeah, pop, pop. [ Laughter ] Ava: Hey. I'm Ava. You're on top. You bring drugs in here, leave your used Maxis lying around, you and I will have a problem. Keep your area clean, keep yourself clean in every way, and we should get along famously. Questions? Ava: No. I'm Nikki, by the way. Ava: Hi, Nikki. Wendy: So, where's Crowder's guy now? Dewey: He's in a trunk. Wendy: Alive? Danny: Uh-huh. Was when he went in. Dewey: We're gonna ransom him back. Wendy: Oh, for God's sake. Don't you know you can't talk sh1t like that around me? Danny: Where's Darryl? [ Truck approaches ] Wendy: Oh, Jesus. Dewey: How could they know already? [ Truck doors open ] Danny: Oh, damn it. Wendy: Hell you think you're doing?! Danny: What? I ain't going away for 20 years. I got nothing to lose. I'm gonna take my shot. Wendy: No, no, no, no. Danny. We don't know yet why they're here. They can't open the trunk without a reason, same like they can't come in the house without a reason. Right? So we're not gonna give them a reason. You got it? Now, you two stay here. Stay out of sight. I'll go handle the marshal. Danny: [ Sighs ] She's like nails on a chalkboard. Wendy: Marshal! Surprised to see you here. Raylan: Guess I could say the same, since I was lead to believe you just about swore you're taking the boy to Miami. Wendy: So, to what do I owe the pleasure? Raylan: Where's Danny? Wendy: Oh! I haven't seen him since this morning? Why? Raylan: Well, Kendal's social worker... she left here last night. He followed her, ran her off the road. Now, I'm willing to concede there's a chance he did it on his own. Wendy: How about being willing to concede he didn't do it at all? Rachel: Oh, I guess he's just someone else who decided to bark like a dog. Wendy: I'm sorry. I don't think we've met. My name is Wendy. Rachel: Deputy marshal Brooks. Wendy: So, why would Danny bark? Raylan: Well, your brother's a world-class dumb-ass... no of fence... so I hesitate trying to analyze what goes on in his head. But if I had to guess, I'd say it was his way of trying to call me out. Wendy: Hmm. Well, as I said, he's not here, but I'm happy to give him the message. Raylan: Not here, huh? That's a lot of cars for just you. Wendy: You got no cause to enter our house. Raylan: Not your house. In fact, I know the fellow who owns this place. Wendy: You know what I mean. Alison saw the rental agreement. Raylan: Yeah, she told me. Wendy: Deputy, unless you show me a warrant, you best not step through that door. Raylan: You'd be surprised where all a marshal can go without a warrant. Wendy: If you're allowed to violate the fourth amendment, I would be very surprised. Raylan: If I suspect the man who owns this house is chained up the basement or, worse... given your family... cooking in a pot, I can go just about anywhere. Wendy: You want to talk to Mike? Is that gonna assuage your dark imaginings? Raylan: Sure. Bring him out. Wendy: He's not here. He's at his store. [ Indistinct conversations ] What's up? You got good timing. Just last night, it was raining like an old cow pissing on a flat rock. I'm penny. You're Ava, right? Word is, you almost killed a guard. Ava: Yeah, well, I didn't really do that. Can I give you a piece of free advice? Ava: Sure. Next time someone asks, don't say you didn't do it. Ava: So what am I supposed to say? "He wasn't the first. He won't be the last." Don't say anything. Half these bitches are snitches. And you don't want anyone getting it in her mind to test you. Look, the best way to get by around here is to be left alone. Ava: Yeah, well, I'm not sure that's up to me. Hey, penny. Patrice. How you doing? Be better once you introduce me to this little piece of white fish. Ava's no fish. She just got transferred from the Harlan lockup. Oh, I guess that means you the one that shived that hack, huh? What happened... he tried to get fresh? Guess it's hard to blame him. Mm. I do like that good hair. sh1t, patrice. You got issues. That's just white-girl hair. Ava: Look, I don't want any trouble. Oh, no trouble. Nichelle here just gets kind of militant when it comes to some things. Me, I say we all the same color where it matters. [ Clears throat ] Ava: Thank you. Excuse us. Ava, I'll see you around. I'm Gretchen Swift. Boyd paid my brother, Gunnar, to see you looked after. Ava: Well, I... aah! Ohh! Your man is a race traitor. Ava: Let go of me! Race traitors are the only thing I hate more than these black bitches. You really do got nice hair. Ava: No! Let go of me! You best stop moving, princess. You keep thrashing around, we might slice something that won't grow back. Ava: Let go of me! [ Screaming ] [ Chuckles ] Stop! Stop! Boyd: Boy leaves my bar unattended, I'm inclined to dock his pay. Check in the back. Carl? [ Cellphone ringing ] Carl? Boyd: Geist. Getting to be it makes me nervous to see your name pop up on my cellphone. You know who did it? [ Beep ] Carl ain't here. Boyd? Boyd: Ava got jumped. I thought Gunnar's sister is looking after her? Boyd: Gunnar's sister is the one who did it. Jimmy, I'm gonna need you to run an errand. Thank you, young man. Kendal: Ma'am. Nice day, now. You too. [ Bell jingles ] Raylan: Shouldn't you be in school? Kendal: It's a holiday. Rachel: What holiday is that? Kendal: I don't know. Some mopey, cultural bullshit... Greek new year's, Chinese easter. Raylan: Guess it's better than the last place I found you working. Kendal: Getting paid to look at half-naked girls all day? Yeah, I was miserable. Rachel: We're looking for Mike. [ Saw whirring ] Darryl: Who the hell is Mike? Raylan: Fellow who owns this store, owns the house you're living in. Darryl: You talking about Mr. Dorn or Thorn or whatever? Raylan: Wendy didn't call to warn you? Darryl: She said y'all was looking for Danny. Rachel: Well, now we're looking for Mike. Where is he? Darryl: Um, sh1t, I don't know. I guess he went out or something. Raylan: What do you intend to do with that saw? Darryl: Oh, you know. Saw things. Raylan: Like, saw an old man's body apart before you put it into a hole? Darryl: No. Got yourself a dark, twisted mind, don't you, Raylan? You ought to come with me. Raylan: Keep an eye on the kid. Darryl: You hear any shots, Kendal, you know what to do. Hey, man. Someone's here to see you. Hey, Raylan! What brings you down here? Raylan: I went by your house. There's a family living there. Uh, yeah. New tenants. Is there a problem? Raylan: Curious what they're doing there. Darryl: Man, we just exchanging hard-earned American dollars for a place to stay. Raylan: Be quiet. Mike? Well, the nicest girl showed up at my door... redhead. Had her little brother with her... the one working out at the counter. Claimed she had no money and living out of a car. Couldn't call myself a Christian if I didn't try to help. Raylan: What about this one and his brother, Danny, and that dog? They living in the car, too? Well, they just kind of showed up. Raylan: I want you to tell them you can't rent to them anymore. Darryl: Oh, hold up, man! You can't do that! Raylan: Be quiet, and I ain't gonna tell you again. Tell them, uh, they can't live in your house. Cabin, too? Raylan: What cabin? My hunting cabin. That was part of the deal. [ Knock on door ] Gunnar is, uh, holed up with about a half-dozen of his Hitler-humpers. Seems like they're just waiting for us to circle back around. Boyd: [ Sighs ] You know I'll follow you anywhere, Boyd. But it seems to me like it won't pay to go straight at them when they're casting a shadow this much bigger than ours. I'm gonna try one more time to raise Carl. [ Cellphone ringing ] Danny: Hey, stop embarrassing yourself, chopping that wood like that. Dewey: [ Chuckles ] Yep. Carl, where in the hell you been, man? We got trouble. Dewey: Well, wouldn't you like to know. [ Breaking audio ] Carl. Carl! Dewey: What? No! No, I'm not Carl! [ Breaking audio ] What the... sh1t. God damn this thing! I think he said something about shoes. [ Beep ] [ Ringing ] Boyd: Hello. Dewey: Yes, so I was saying... [ Breaking audio ] Boyd: No, I can't hear you. [ Breaking audio ] Dewey: Boyd? Is that you? Boyd: Now, I'm gonna give you 30 minutes to be where you should have been 30 minutes ago. Dewey: Boyd?! Damn, this reception is for sh1t! [ Truck approaches ] [ Beep ] [ Ringing ] Danny! Oh, sh1t. [ Beep ] [ Truck doors close ] [ Tapping on glass ] You didn't tell me we was expecting guests. I would have cleaned up. Danny: Shut your mouth. Deputy. Heh. Your girl give you my message? Thing is, it's just not a good time, though. Raylan: Well, let's make it a good time. Danny: [ Groans ] Rachel: [ Grunts ] [ Chelsea barking ] Danny: Chelsea, sic 'em! Sic 'em, Chelsea! Raylan: Just so you know, it comes to it, first one that takes a bullet is this dog. Danny: Chelsea! Quiet! Rachel: Besides, beef for kidnapping... it got to be better than dying up here in this cabin. Now, who said anything about kidnapping? Rachel: Excuse me? Suppose he never kidnapped me, huh? Suppose I'm, uh, here of my volition. Rachel: Being that you're beat-up and tied to a chair? Well, Danny and I here, we never did settle on a safe word, did we? Danny: Yeah. We share some things in common. Raylan: I don't believe we've met. I'm Carl. And you're... Raylan, right? We have a friend in common. Raylan: Boyd Crowder. Little embarrassing, you happening upon us in such a state. But, seeing as how there's no criminally unbecoming activity currently going on, let's say Danny here cuts me loose and we all just go on our way, huh? Raylan: Meaning, you go loose, then you go back to Boyd, and the two of you settle up with Danny at your leisure. Something like that? Well, I'm not a fortune teller, so who can tell what the future holds? Raylan: Well, look at that. I think we may have come up with a peaceful resolution. Danny: Yeah, we have. Real peaceful. Darryl: Hell, no! That's bullshit! I ain't going nowhere! Wendy: Darryl, you know I've been on board with this whole "trying to start..." Darryl: You ain't trying to do nothing! You're trying to go back to Miami, right? Wendy: We have got to face the facts! The house is gone. Danny's probably on his way to jail as we speak. Let's just cut our losses now and go before that marshal grabs Kendal again. Kentucky is over for us, Darryl. The only one doesn't seem to know that is you. I mean, why do you think Jean Baptiste... Darryl: Man, forget him! All right, he's soft! Wendy: No, he could see the writing on the wall. Darryl: Wendy, I ain't going nowhere! You hear me?! I've been busting my ass trying to keep this family together. Wendy: What, and I haven't been?! If it wasn't for me, Kendal would be in a foster home right now. Darryl: sh1t, Danny. Marshals did that to you? Danny: How do you guys know about the marshals? Darryl: He told me. Dewey: Yeah, I went to get help, but I got lost in the woods. Darryl: They got Crowder's guy, also? Danny: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I-I-I-it's all right. Yeah. Carl said that he ain't gonna press charges. He said we were up there doing some s*x thing. And it was, uh... it was consens... con... it was, uh, c-consexual. Darryl: Man, that's good for the law, but what you think Crowder's gonna do, huh? You almost started a war, man. You a problem, man! You know that? Yeah, why you have to run that lady off the road?! Danny: Oh, here we go. You gonna blame it on me?! Is that it?! You gonna blame it on me?! Wendy: Hey! Stop it! Boyd: Family and disfunction go together like peanut butter and chocolate. I come in peace. Him, not so much. Darryl: What you want? Boyd: I just figured it's time we had a chat... try to de-escalate. Dewey: Well, it don't matter no more, Boyd. They're leaving. Boyd: Well, I hate to hear that, because I was thinking we might be the answer to each other's prayers. Darryl: Is that right? You gonna give me that money I talked to you about? Boyd: Oh, no. But, because I believe in capitalism, I'll give you an opportunity to earn some. I've got a job that needs doing. Dewey: Don't trust him, cousin Darryl. He's gonna screw you over like he did to me. Boyd: Shut up, Dewey, and sit down. As I was saying... both: What's the job? [ Thudding ] [ Panting ] [ Thudding stops ] I warned you Gretchen had a bad attitude. Now, you know race treason is a serious crime, Boyd. Needed paying for. Boyd: Well, then, I guess I'm here for my refund. You always had a pair of balls on you, Boyd. But walking in here, all alone? Hell, you couldn't take me one-on-one. You gonna take on one-on-six? Boyd: [ Whistles ] One lesson you could never understand is "why make an enemy when you can make a friend?" Now, I want you to meet my new friend, Darryl Crowe, Jr. [ Grunts ] Danny: Oh, yeah! Nail him! Come on, Darryl! Get him good! Get him, Darryl! Come on, boy! Get him, boy! Yeah, get him good! Come on, Darryl! Boyd: That's good. [ Chokes ] Boyd: Now, Gunnar, I know it's gonna be real unpleasant for you to talk for a little while. But you need to let your sister know that if anything else happens to my woman... if she cuts her leg shaving... I'm gonna take it out on you a hundredfold. Now, Carl, get my goddamn money. [ Snoring ] Ava: Nikki. What the hell? Ava: I need your razor. What razor? Ava: The one you have in your mattress. You going after Gretchen? That's crazy. Ava: I just need it for a second. I'll give you commissary for a week. A month. Ava: Fine. You get caught with this, you're on your own. Boyd: Mr. Dunham! You're a hard man to get a hold of. Sorry about that. Been a little busy down here lately. Boyd: Oh, is that all? I was starting to worry you'd rethought some of the bullet points of our deal. No, it ain't nothing like that. I got my boys scooping up your cousin as we speak. Boyd: Well, in that case, no apologies necessary. You thought about how you want to deliver him? I figured we bring him down with us when we meet you in nuevo laredo. You can have your time with him there and bury him in the desert before we cross back over. Boyd: Well, I look forward to hanging up my pi ata. Now, Rodney, it's important that our business down there goes nice and smooth. The people we're dealing with don't strike me as the type that go in for drama. You remember that day in the Bennett's barn... you and me was buying weed from Dickie? Be just that smooth. Boyd: Well, that's good to hear. I'll see you the day after tomorrow in Mexico. Don't forget to pack your sunscreen. So, what did he say? Boyd: He said it would go as smooth as the last time we did business together. That's good, right? Boyd: Last time we did business together, I robbed him. Rachel: [ Sighs ] You wanted to kick Danny Crowe's ass, though, right? Raylan: Well, there's a certain satisfaction seeing you pop him in the nose. Rachel: [ Chuckles ] Feeling cheated it wasn't you? Raylan: You mean, you feel cheated? Rachel: Me? Raylan: Mm-hmm. Rachel: I'm glad it went how it went. Raylan: Is that a fact? Rachel: What are you implying? Raylan: You wanted me to come off the leash so you could call me to heel. That's why you came along, right? Report back to the boss that the chronic-problem deputy was kept in check by the office kiss-ass? Rachel: You might see it that way... Raylan: Mm. Rachel: If you were a son of a bitch. Raylan: [ Chuckles ] Rachel: The other way you could see it is that, after all we've been through, the trust we've built, I came with you in case you opened up a crack and wanted to talk about how bad you could have messed up that Art has a swole fist and you got a black eye. Raylan: [ Inhales deeply ] You're not a kiss-ass. I'm sorry I said that. You know I think the world of you, and I trust you with my life. But, Rachel, I ain't saying a goddamn thing about me and art. Rachel: 'Cause if you did, it would drive the whole office into a sh1t storm of biblical proportion. Isn't that right? [ Breathes deeply ] Alison: I asked you not to go down there and stir the pot. Raylan: If anything, I just sniffed the pot. Got a sense of what's cooking. To tell you the truth, I didn't have to kick Danny Crowe's ass on your behalf. Those animals are gonna rip each other apart soon enough. Alison: Well, steer clear if that's the case. You wanted to. It bugs you that you didn't. Raylan: Kick his ass? Would have had a certain satisfaction. Alison: Is that who you are, Raylan? An old-time American hero? Raylan: Just guy that does a job. Alison: Tough job, fist-fighting bad guys all day long. Raylan: [ Chuckles ] I got this from my chief. Long story, gist of which is I'm no hero. Alison: Well, then, who are you? Raylan: What? Alison: Who are you, really? The guy whose chief punches him in the eye? That runs off to defend the honor of a lady? A guy that has a lady and the ex and the baby daughter all stashed out of state? Raylan: I guess so. What's your point? Alison: You are a hero, Raylan. I met enough I.E.O.S to know. Raylan: [ Sighs ] Alison: I can tell you're a man that would run into a burning building without blinking an eye. Raylan: [ Chuckles ] Alison: Thing is, I... I think you're the one setting the fire. Wendy: Well, you just can't get enough of us, can you? Boyd: Well, my mama was a redhead. Let's just say I have an affinity. Wendy: Uh-huh. Boyd: You interested in growing that stack? Wendy: Why, you gonna offer to help us invest it or something? Boyd: I got another job I need done. Now, I understand that you are a lawyer. Darryl: Man, she ain't no lawyer. Boyd: Well, whatever you are, I'm gonna cue the part of the conversation you don't want to hear so that you can go on pretending you don't know what your family does for a living. Darryl: [ Exhales deeply ] Man, you something else, Boyd. I assume this next job ain't gonna be as fun as whupping on a bunch of skinheads, am I right? Boyd: Well, that depends on your definition of "fun," Darryl Crowe, Jr. I want you to help me kill my cousin Johnny.

An attack on Alison sends Raylan to Harlan in search of payback, while Boyd scrambles to arrange protection for Ava.

fd_One_Tree_Hill_06x18

fd_One_Tree_Hill_06x18_0

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Mrs Rimkus : I have a problem with the essay you selected for the school paper. Haley : I understand, but I thought I was in charge of the school paper and had final say on what went in it. Mrs Rimkus : And I have final say on whether or not you work here. Lucas : If continuing this pregnancy means I lose you, then we end it. Peyton : I'm having this baby. Lucas : We're having this baby. Brooke : What do you want me to say? Julian : How about, Julian? Brooke : How about, "I like you"? Dan : You want to talk about Keith? Let's talk about Keith. From the way I see it, I pulled the trigger, but you loaded the gun. Deb : It's good that you're gonna die soon, Dan. Jamie : Grandpa? It's time for you to get better. AT THE HOSPITAL Man : Look, I'm not saying I do or I de havany llicit narcotics currently in my domicile. But if I did and my dog happened to eat, say,3 ounces of, actually, some really nice Lebanese hash, would you say he'd be okay ... or no? Woman : Sit your stupid ass down, and I'll call a veterinarian. Mr. Scott. We'll get you prepped in a moment Dan : Okay. Lucas. Is everything all right? Lucas : It's fine. Dan : I'm getting a heart. Lucas : It's about time. AT THE OFFICE Reese : I need a helicopter. Julian : For the final river court scene ... Lucas told me. But you can shoot it with a crane. You don't need a helicopter. Reese : Yes, but I've never had s*x in a helicopter before. Girl : Excuse me, Julian? Brooke Davis on line 1. Reese : Nice Julian : I have to call her back. Girl : Okay. Julian : Is that the girl that auditioned for Peyton? Reese : Yeah. And she was about to be the girl who auditioned for Peyton, slash, new office P.A. having s*x with me in a helicopter, until you ruined it. I wonder if we could do it in a crane. Girl : Julian, you have a call. Julian : It kind of gets a little crazy right before production. Can you take a message? Girl : Okay, but it's the head of the studio ... I mean, your father. He said it was urgent. Julian : Yeah dad, what's up ? AT THE GYMNASIUM Skills : Yeah, dad, what's up? All right,8 seconds left, down by 2. Here's what I want. I want you here, here, here, and here. Set the picks there, pick there, knock down the shot, and send their sorry butt home in O.T. You got me?! All right. Big game James, I want you to inbound the ball and take the shot. You with me? Jamie : Yeah. Skills : All right. "No mercy" on 3. 1,2,3. Kids team : No mercy! Andre : Ball, ball! Pass it, pass it! Skills : James, look! Look! Andre : Pass the ball! Pass the ball! Ball! Madison, ball! Ball! Skills : Hey, ref, that was a foul, man! Man : Dude, there were like a dozen fouls. Go home. AT TREE HILL SCHOOL Mrs Rimkus : I asked you here today, Haley, because I thought we should talk things through. Having a teacher on suspension is never good for us. Haley : Well, I would be happy to not be on suspension, but that's up to you. Mrs Rimkus : And I'd be happy to end your suspension, as long as you agree to print an apology for your actions in the next edition of the school paper. I've prepared it for you. I'll also be taking over the paper's publishing responsibilities going forward. In addition, you'll address your literature class and explain that you were wrong and that you showed a serious error in judgment. Haley : And if I don't? Mrs Rimkus : You'll be fired. AT THE SHOP Sam : Jack? Jack! Jack! Just give it to me. And go, okay? I won't tell, I promise. Just go. Go. AT BROOKE'S HOUSE Brooke : Shoplifting, Sam? You have everything you could ever want, and you are out stealing, like a common thief? Sam : They're not even pressing charges! Brooke : Because I cried and begged and told them you were semi-retarded! That is not the point. What the hell? Sam : Did you ever consider that maybe it was a case of mistaken identity and that maybe I wasn't shoplifting and that maybe, just maybe, they got the wrong person? Brooke : The wrong person with the pack of hot dogs and no receipt? Sam : I don't even like hot dogs, and I have the money! The thing is ... Brooke : The thing is. You are an unfixable little smartass, who apparently is gonna do whatever she wants. Don't. Julian : Brooke, it's Julian. I'm sorry ... I've been kind of out of touch, and I need to talk to you. Call me. Sam : That got anything to do with why you're so mad at me? Brooke : No. I am mad at you because it doesn't feel like you're making any progress. You stole from me at clothes over bros, and I figured, "okay, you were desperate, you lacked guidance, you felt unloved." So, what do I do? I forgive you, I take you in, I care for you, give you anything you want, and you make me feel like an idiot! Sam : Is that what you really think ... that I'm unfixable? Brooke : Oh, don't put this on me, Sam. I am not the one who got caught stealing today and then tried to lie my way out of it. Sam : I'm not lying! And I wasn't stealing, either! But you know what ... whatever. Believe whatever the hell you want to believe. Brooke : Okay. AT THE OFFICE Julian : Okay, well, maybe you can make a few cal and get back to me. Yeah, thanks. Is everything okay with Peyton? Lucas : Yeah, so far. Thanks for asking. Um, what's up? Julian : My dad called a little while ago. He's been fired. Lucas : That's too bad. How's he taking it? Julian : Well, he's taking it with a huge cash settlement and an overall production deal. Lucas : Well, so he's good. Julian : I don't think you understand, Luke. Reese : Korman, it's me. Uh, yeah, I heard. Listen. I'm pay or play, right? You're the man. Bye. Well, boys, it's been a good run. At least I'm getting paid. Lucas : Wait, wait, Reese, hold on. What's going on, Julian? Reese : What's going on is, the movie just died, Luke. Our movie just died, and you just lost your $300,000 production bonus. Lucas : Is that true? Julian : When the studio head is terminated, most of the projects that aren't shooting yet go into turnaround. Lucas : Okay. What's ... what's turnaround? Julian : It means they put things on hold. Reese : Tell the truth, Julian. Come on. Luke... it means your movie's dead, done, over. It's like they're all in the third grade. When the new guy comes in. He doesn't want to play with the old guy's toys. He throws them out, buys his own toys. Julian : No, not always. Not always. This movie got a ton of love from a lot of executives that are still at the studio, so just give me a second, hang tight. Let me make some calls, okay? I'm gonna do everything I can to fix this. Reese : You do that. This movie is so over. AT THE GYMNASIUM Jamie : We're really sorry, coach uncle Skills. Skills : It's okay. Madison : It's not okay we stink! Andre : We suck. Chuck : We're hosed. Skills : Well, wait, hold on, now. We only lost by two points. Jamie : Yeah, but we still lost. Skills : Yeah, but you got to look at things from the brighter side. Chuck, you played the whole game today without fouling and without punching somebody in the crotch, right? Chuck : Yeah. Skills : Madison... you didn't start doing your homework on the bench until the second half, even when I knew it was killing you to just relax and have fun. Right? All right. Jamie Scott, 14 points. Andre fields, 8 points. And Caroline Rutenbar, 2 points, 2 rebounds, and no pee in the pants. Y'all give it up. All right, don't do drugs, stay in school, and Nanny Deb has all the snacks. Y'all get on out of here, rock stars. Jamie : Hey Nanny Deb. Deb : You are so good with them. Skills : Hey, I love kids. Maybe one day, we'll have some of our own. Hey, wait. Save me a juice box. AT SCOTT'S HOUSE Haley : I am so pissed off! Nathan : So, she expects you to apologize. Haley : Yes. Can you believe that? Nathan : Well, I bet our kitchen drawers are really organized right now. Haley : Why do you say that? Nathan : Because. That's who you are, Haley James. And I know that even though Rimkus is completely wrong, you're thinking about taking the high road on this one, because you're a good teacher and you care about your students. Haley : Yeah, I do care, but you know what ... when you're young and you look at how great your life's gonna be, you don't think about having a Rimkus there to screw it all up with her written apologies and her stupid-ass policies, and it's totally unfair that I have to apologize for something, when I don't even think I was wrong, because I wasn't wrong. Nathan : I get it, baby. And I completely agree. And if you want to tell Rimkus to shove it, I'm good with that. But I think you know that if you do that, these kids are gonna lose the best teacher they have. Haley : Yeah. Nathan : So, I'm thinking I'm just gonna love you even more, because... you're probably gonna take the high road and be gracious and honorable, because that's who you are, Haley James. Haley : Our kitchen drawers are really organized, by the way. AT THE CIMETERY Jamie : Hi, "Q." Uncle Lucas let me come say hi. We had a game today, and I scored a bunch of points. But we lost. Lucas : He's doing really good, "Q." He's got your crossover dribble. Jamie : Andre did great, too. I know he misses you a lot. We all do. Lucas : I'll be right back, okay? Peyton : The truth is, I see how worried the doctors are and how terrified Lucas is, so I'm trying to be strong through all of it, but I'm scared, mom. So if you could put in a good word for us up there... Thanks, mom. Lucas : This place is way too full of people I love and miss. There's not any room for any more. You hear me? Not even one. Peyton : Hey, I'll go wait in the car. Lucas : Okay. You ready to go, Jamie? Jamie : How did great-uncle Keith die? Lucas : He was shot, Jamie. Jamie : Like Quentin? Lucas : Yeah. Jamie : Why do people do bad things like that, uncle Lucas? Lucas : Maybe you should ask your grandpa Dan. AT THE BEACH Dan : Is that all you got?! That's the best you can do?! A crazy bitch Nanny and a dog?! That supposed to be some kind of karmic lesson? Well, I don't need your lesson. And I'm not gonna apologize, either, or cower or beg or cry! I've done that. It's over. And let me tell you something else. I'm not gonna pray, either. You hear me?! I won't! I showed remorse. I said "I'm sorry. And if that's not good enough, you come and get me, god, you miserable son of a bitch. I give up. Man : This wasn't great day to be alive. AT LUCAS'S HOUSE Julian : It's over. I talked to everybody I could at the studio, shutting down production. It's just politics and bad timing, Luke. Lucas : So it's definitely not happening. Julian : I'm sorry. Now I got to go tell a bunch of people they just lost their jobs. Peyton : What about Brooke? Did you talk to her yet? Julian : I tried calling her, but... I'm not really worried about Brooke Davis. Something tells me she'll be just fine. Peyton : I didn't mean the job part. Julian : Yeah, I didn't either. See you guys around. Bye, Jamie. Jamie : Bye. Peyton : Well... you were worried about the book becoming a movie, anyway ... l the stuff with Keith. Lucas : Yeah. Jamie : Can I have this picture? Lucas : Sure, Jamie. Peyton : What now? Hi, It's Peyton. Okay. Lucas : What's wrong? AT TRIC Peyton : They don't like the song. Mia : Who? John or the A&R guys? Peyton : Apparently all of them. And it's not like they hate it, okay? They just don't love it the same way we do. Mia : Well, they wrong! Peyton : Well I agree. Haley : What do they want to do? Peyton : They thought we should try it on guitar instead of piano. Mia : But it's perfect on the piano. Peyton : Maybe so, honey, but if you love this song and you want to keep it, maybe you should just try it. Mia : What do you think, Haley? Haley : Sometimes you have to play the game. AT SCOTT'S HOUSE Skills : What game you playing, boy? Jamie : "Sims." I'm making my own tree hill. Skills : Is there a skills character? Jamie : Yeah. But he mostly just gets all mushy with Nanny Deb. Skills : I like your style, baby. See if you can give Uncle Skills two Nanny Debs. Jamie : Okay. Skills : Good man. But just don't tell the real nanny Deb I said that, okay? Skills : That kid is a genius. And his nanny's kind of great, too. You okay? Deb : I've been meaning to talk to you for some time now. Skills : Okay. Deb : I think we should end this ... us. I think we should break up. Skills : Wait. Why? Deb : Because you should be a father and have a family -- one that I can't give you. Skills : Look, baby, you're not that old. I mean, you could still have kids. Deb : Yes, I could. But I don't want to. Skills : Okay. I'm good with that. Deb : Oh, you're such a sweet and wonderful guy, and ... and we have so much fun together. But at the end of the day, you deserve more than this. Skills : I don't want more than this. I think this is good enough. Deb : For me... but not for you. I'm sorry. AT BROOKE'S HOUSE Sam : Brooke, it's Julian! It's Julian. Brooke : I don't want to talk to him. Sam : Are you guys fighting? Brooke : Not exactly. Sam : What not exactly happened? Brooke : Nothing. And I'm still pissed at you for shoplifting. Sam : You should talk to him. Brooke : We're fine. Some time apart might do us some don't. Sam : Hey, Julian. Yeah, she's right here. Brooke : When I hang up, I'm going to kill you, and then your dead body is grounded. Hi, Julian. What's up? I'm sorry. That's terrible. So, what does that mean for you? That's soon. No, take it. Take it. I'll... I'll call you later. Bye. They pulled the plug on the movie. He's leaving town soon ... for good. Sam : Looks like you got that time apart you wished for. AT SCOTT'S HOUSE Dan : Hi Deb : You're evil. You know that? Dan : Well, what tipped you off? Our miserable marriage or the prison term? Deb : The insidiousness. How dare you pin Keith's murder on me. Dan : Yes. It wasn't your fault. Deb : It wasn't my fault. Dan : I know. Deb : So, I thought you were getting your heart. Dan : Yeah, it's not gonna work out. Listen, Deb, I was wondering if I could take Jamie for a couple hours. Deb : Why, Dan? Why would I do that? Dan : Because he's all I have left. Deb : No. Forget it. Dan : You can come with us, Deb. It's just for a little while. Deb : To do what? Dan : To say goodbye. Jamie : Grandpa Dan! Dan : Hey, there's my guy. Jamie : Did you get your heart already? Can I see it? What's it feel like? Dan : Sorry, buddy. It was a false alarm. Jamie : Then where's your pager? Deb : Two hours. Don't make me regret this. All right, sweetie, grandpa's gonna take you for a couple hours, and then I'll see you for dinner, okay? Jamie : Do you want to come with us, Nanny Deb? Deb : Oh, um, no, honey. This is where I say goodbye. Dan : Hey, wait for me right outside. Goodbye, Deb. Don't feel guilty. Deb : I feel guilty. AT TRIC Brooke : Julian was being so nice to me, and I freaked out, and I took it out on Sam. I am a horrible person. Haley : As a teacher, I must adhere to a higher standard of conduct, and I failed to live up to that higher standard. For that, I am truly sorry. I'm also sorry principal Rimkus is a hairy-backed bitch. Mia : Guitar. Play it on guitar. That's their great idea. Maybe I can just play it on the spoons ... a nice spoon ballad. Skills : What the hell's she mean I'm too good for her? I'm not too good for her. Trust me, I know me. Luke, am I too good for anybody you know? Lucas : Dude, I just lost $300,000. Do you understand that? $300,000. And you lost Deb? Shut up! What the hell are you doing here? Reese : Celebrating. I just got paid for doing nothing. Everybody, drinks on me! Who's with me? AT JULIAN OFFICE Julian : Yeah, I'm gonna miss it here. More than you know. Hey, I got to run. I'll ... I'll see you in L.A. Okay. Sam : Sorry about the movie. Julian : It's okay. Sam : So, you're just gonna leave now? Julian : Yeah, but it's okay, Sam. Sam : It's not okay. What about Brooke? Julian : That wasn't gonna work out. Sam : You're an idiot if you believe that. The only reason she didn't call you back was because she was mad at me for shoplifting, and she didn't ... Julian : Hold on. Shoplifting? What's ... what's that all about? Sam : I did it for Jack. He was hungry... and I just took the fall. Julian : What did Brooke say about it? Sam : I didn't tell her. She called me unfixable. Julian : You know she didn't mean that. Sam : Yeah. I know. Julian : She was just mad at you. Sam : I don't get you guys. One minute, you're making out on the couch, and the next minute, you're not even talking! What happened? Julian : I told her I loved her. She didn't say it back. But the movie's over now, so it doesn't really matter. Sam : No, it does matter. It's the only thing that matters. AT THE RIVER COURT Dan : You know, Jamie... I'm gonna miss watching you grow into the man you're gonna be someday. 'Cause I know you're gonna do great things in your life. You know I'd be there if I could, right? Come here, buddy. Jamie : Grandpa? Dan : Yeah? Jamie : You wouldn't lie to me, would you? Dan : Of course not. Jamie : Because I need to ask you something. Dan : Anything, buddy. Jamie : Who killed great-uncle Keith? Dan : I did. It was me. Jamie : I want to go home. AT THE RIVER COURT Julian : Well, look at it this way, Luke ... you lost a movie and a huge production bonus. I lost a movie, a huge pa huge production bonus, and two amazing girls. Lucas : Yeah, what happened with Brooke, anyway? Julian : Well, we started out just having fun, but then she told me she needed to be more than that, so I made it more than that, at which point she freaked out she just wanted to have fun. Which made it really not fun for either of us, sort of. Lucas : Hey, you know what ... maybe, uh... maybe you and Brooke will still work it out. Julian : Yeah, we'll see. Lucas : We'll see. Julian : What? Lucas : It's Brooke Davis, okay? So if you don't try, you're an idiot. Julian : Thank you. Lucas : Peyton said she came home to find love. Maybe Brooke will leave home to find it with you and your big-ass forehead. Julian : I like to think of it as a five head, thank you. And, you know, Peyton happened to love it, among other big things I have. Lucas : You know, I'm really glad you're leaving. Julian : Here we go. Lucas : Oh, geez. Reese : Boys, boys, boys, boys! Have I taught you nothing this entire time that I've known you? You have a very small window where excessive, irresponsible consumption is allowed. For god's sake, drink something expensive, especially when production is paying for it. Lucas : Does anything matter to you, Reese? Reese : Now, what is that supposed to mean? Lucas : Well, look, I mean, Julian and I really wanted to make this movie. Julian : Lucas has a point, Reese. You don't seem that upset. Reese : I get it, you guys. If we had run even one measly little frame of film through that camera, you would be sitting on a huge, fat production bonus. It's a lot of money. You're upset. I respect that. Lucas : See, that's just it, man. It's not about the money. Reese : Well, so what's it about, then? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. I'm not a writer, but ... let me ... let me take a shot at this. It's that we found a story worth telling. We got the script just right, we got the crew just right, we got the perfect cast, and we were, oh, so close to being able to make something that would actually affect somebody ... someone we've never met, but for two hours, we can have a dialogue with that person, speak to them and maybe ... I mean, just maybe ... illuminate a small part of their world by telling a story in ours. Here's the piece of the puzzle you boys are missing. Sometimes... the beauty is in the attempt. We took a shot. We gave it everything we could, and we did it well. Just didn't work out. Now, when that happens, you got two options. You could sit in a public park like a couple of homos, pouting and drinking cheap beer, or... you could celebrate the attempt! Raise your glasses right now, both of you. Get them up. To the friendships we've made along the way ... and the insane amount of ass we get for doing this job. Julian : You were so close. So close. Reese : But, above all, don't let this get you down. Pick yourself up, find the next one. It's what we do, boys. It's what we know. See? Look at how happy my baby is that we saved the movie and she gets to play Peyton. Julian : That's not true. Reese : But she doesn't know that. All right, now wait for it. You two dorks are gonna love this one. Almost forgot! I left you guys a little present in the limo! Seems I ran a little bit of film through the camera anyway. It was a sunset last night ... gorgeous! Had to have it! You just got your production bonuses, boys! Julian : But you can't do that! Reese : I just did! And when you speak of me, speak of me well. Bull Durham. Lucas : You may not like him, minister... but you can't deny he's got style. Harry Potter. Julian : You know he charged that helicopter to the movie. AT TREE HILL SCHOOL Haley : I've been asked to speak with all of you because there is a chance I may have shown a small error in judgment when I published Sam's essay in the school paper. Which is not to say that Sam's essay wasn't a wonderful piece of writing, because it is. It's just that ... Mrs Rimkus : Ms. Scott. Haley : This is still my classroom. Mrs Rimkus : For now. Haley : What's the first thing I taught you about writing? Sam : Tell the truth. Haley : Tell the truth. So I would be a hypocrite if I stood up here and didn't tell y the truth, right? Look, the truth is, I love teaching all of you, and I'm ... I'm proud of you. But I did what any good teacher would do when I published Sam's essay in the school paper. It was a powerful piece of writing. It was honest and naked and real and everything your writing should be. And, by the look on principal Rimkus's face, I should probably say goodbye. Just try and remember it's too early for you to start playing the game. Hell, it's too early for me to start playing the game. Stand up for what you believe in. The truth matters, so tell it, no matter what. AT BROOKE'S HOUSE Julian : Brooke. Brooke : Hey Julian : Hey Brooke : I was gonna call you, but... Julian : But I said I loved you, and you didn't say it back, and I said it was fine. But it wasn't. Brooke : Yeah. Julian : I heard about, um, Sam and the whole shoplifting thing. But the thing is, it wasn't her fault. She was just covering for Jack, and, you know, she promised she wouldn't tell. Brooke : I called her unfixable. Julian : I know. But she's not. And you know she's not, because she loves you. And so do I. And you know what that's okay, because sometimes the beauty is in the attempt. I got to go. Brooke : This is crazy. I don't want you to go. Julian : And I don't want to go. But I have to. Brooke : Julian, I... Julian : I'm gonna miss you, Brooke Davis. AT THE RIVERT COURT Nathan : Oh oh. Some little rusty. Lucas : Yeah. Nathan : It's like this. Hey, I'm sorry about the movie, man. Lucas : Haley told you, huh? Nathan : She tells you she got fired? Lucas : I thought she was just suspended. That was until this morning. Nathan : I don't know, man. I leave town, and everything goes to hell Haley gets fired, movie falls apart. Lucas : Dan's heart. Nathan : Yeah, my, uh, mom called me and told me there was a problem. What's up? Lucas : Oh, he didn't tell you? Nathan : No. Lucas : Dog ate it. Nathan : What? Lucas : I'm serious. A dog ate his heart. Nathan : You're kidding me. Lucas : I'm standing right there, and this ... this stoner guy's dog trips the paramedic and... gobbles up his heart. Nathan : You're serious? Lucas : I'm not joking. Nathan : Waouh ! Lucas : Yeah. Nathan : So, I guess... this means he's gonna die. AT BROOKE'S HOUSE Brooke : Hey, I owe you an apology. Sam. You are not unfixable. Okay? Come here. I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm really sorry. But I found you something to show you how sorry I am. No boys in your bedroom. Sam : Well, close the door, you idiot. You live in a barn or something? Jack : You're the idiot. AT PEYTON'S OFFICE Peyton : Hey. How'd it go? Haley : How would you like a full-time producer for Mia's record? Peyton : Oh, god. What happened? Haley : I told the truth! Peyton : Well, then, yeah. I mean, we would love a full-time producer. Haley : Excellent! So, how does "Manhattan" sound on guitar? Mia : It's not bad, actually. Haley : Good. Now, let's put it back. Mia, when you started out, did you want to make great records or not-bad records? Mia : Great records. Peyton : Great, great records. Haley : Good! So that's what we'll do. We'll make a great record, and if the label can't hear it, then ... they can argue with Peyton. Peyton : Oh, I like this team. Haley : I love this team! AT BROOKE'S HOUSE Sam : So, you're good here? Jack : I'm good. Sam : Okay. Well, I'll...see you in the morning, then. Jack : Yeah. Sam : I'm glad you're here. Jack : Me too. AT THE RIVER COURT Dan : You're my sons. And I failed you. I'm sorry for that and for so many other things. But I'm proud that each of you have become the kind of man that I could never be. You're good men. And you're good brothers. Don't let the world change that. AT SCOTT'S HOUSE Haley : James Lucas Scott, what are you still doing awake? Jamie : I'm making Tree Hill. See? That's Quentin. He's still alive here. Haley : That's nice. Jamie : And this is our house. And that's daddy and you and me. And Uncle Lucas and Peyton live next door. Haley : Cool. Jamie : And this is Brooke and Sam and Julian. Is that grandpa Dan? Haley : Yeah. Jamie : He has a new heart. Haley : Who's that, sweetie? Jamie : That's uncle Keith. He's still alive. He came to make sure grandpa Dan was okay, because him and grandpa Dan still love each other. Haley : Okay, Jamie, it's time for bed. Say good night to Tree Hill. Jamie : Good night to Tree Hill.

Lucas and Julian hit a setback with the production of the film. Peyton and Haley help Mia with her new single. Brooke must intervene when Sam is arrested. Jamie discovers the truth about Dan and Uncle Keith. This episode is named after a song by Against Me!

fd_The_Vampire_Diaries_06x15

fd_The_Vampire_Diaries_06x15_0

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Mr. Parker: Luke is gone. He merged with Kai, Kai won. Kai: I always win. Tyler: I would have done anything for you, and you chose death over me. I never want to see you again. Damon: Bonnie needs magic to get out. We just need to tell her where to find some. Bonnie: Damon, you're a genius. Stefan: Caroline's mom isn't doing too hot. Liz: Caroline is meant to be extraordinary, and she needs to know how proud I am of her. You tell her yourself. Stefan: When you told me you hated me. Caroline: I think we both know I never really hated you. (Flatlining) She's gone. [SCENE_BREAK] [ FLASHBACK ] (Caroline has fallen off her bike and is leaning against a tree when Liz walks in) Liz: OK. I've got band-aids, surgical gear, and a medevac enroute for an airlift. Caroline: You're making fun of me. Liz: No, sweetheart. I'm making fun of me. There is no greater first than watching your kid ride without training wheels... (tends to the graze) Oh, boy... and no worst first than seeing them bite the dust. All right. There. Caroline: Mommy? Liz: Yes. Caroline: Am I gonna die? Liz: I would say your chances of survival are 100%. Caroline: Are you gonna die? Liz: Well... everyone dies eventually, sweetie, but not for a long, long time. Caroline: But what if you die and I'm still here? Liz: Well, then you'll be all grown up, and you won't need me. Caroline: I think I'll always need you. (Liz and Caroline hug each other) [SCENE_BREAK] [ SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE ] (Caroline awakes on a couch and sees Matt, Elena, Tyler, and Stefan sleeping around her. Caroline walks over to the kitchen where Damon is still trying to write Liz's eulogy.) (As Caroline opens the door, Damon rips a sheet of paper from a notebook and crumples it.) Caroline: Sorry. Just, um, water. Damon: Help yourself. Caroline: (walks over to the sink) So what are you not writing? Damon: You believe your mother entrusted me to eulogize her? Caroline: That's... nice, I guess. (fills a glass with water) Damon: I think she's trying to teach me a lesson about my own mom. Was supposed to do the eulogy at her funeral, and I just... Caroline: We don't have to share. Damon: Right. Caroline: I just mean today is pretty much gonna be the worst day of my life. I'm not sure that I need to start it off by bonding with you. No offense. Damon: None taken. Caroline: Great. Thanks for the water. (starts to walk out of the kitchen) Damon: Hey, blondie. Today isn't the worst day of your life. Today and tomorrow, it's a cakewalk. And there will be people day in and day out like they're afraid to leave you alone. The worst day? That's next week when there's nothing but quiet. Just a heads-up. Caroline: Appreciate the tip. (walks out) Damon: Sure. Anytime. [SCENE_BREAK] (Caroline is writing a to-do list for Liz's funeral) Caroline (V.O.): You've all asked what you can do to help. (Cut to Caroline talking to Elena, Matt, Tyler and Stefan in the living room) Caroline: There are five day's worth of projects on here. We are going to do them in one. We can break the rules and cut through the red tape. I expect my mom to be properly celebrated and buried by the end of the day. Matt: Sure, Care. Whatever you need. (Tyler and Stefan nod) Caroline: Elena, you're coming with me. Elena: Where are we going? Caroline: Casket shopping. Let's move! [SCENE_BREAK] [ EXT. SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE - FRONT PORCH ] (Caroline and Elena walk through the front door) Elena: You drive. I sent my car to Jeremy. Caroline: Jeremy! I forgot to put him on my list of people to call. Elena: It's okay. I called him. (Overlay of 1994 prison world, Bonnie walks up to the front door) [SCENE_BREAK] [ 1994 PRISON WORLD - SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE ] (Bonnie is filming on the camera) Bonnie: It's day 278 inside this stupid prison world. I have two broken toes, nine blisters, and an ear infection, but I don't care. I have phesmatosed the crap out of this magic Canadian rock, and I have my magic again. (Getting a drink of bourbon) And when that eclipse hits 12:28, I'm going home. You hear that, me? Home. (Drinks) [SCENE_BREAK] [ JO'S APARTMENT ] (Jo is throwing up into the toilet and Alaric is standing just outside of the bathroom) Alaric: Uh, you sure you don't want me to hold your hair back or something? Jo: Stay away form me. This is gross. We haven't been dating long enough for you to see gross. Alaric: I have guilt. The vegan dish I made fun of did you in. Jo: I'm dying. Stupid Thai food. Never again. (Throws up) Alaric: You know, maybe would just skip the funeral. Jo: We're going. (The doorbell rings. Alaric opens the front door and sees Kai, who doesn't look too good.) Kai: Hey. (Alaric tries to shut the door) Wait, wait, wait, wait. (Alaric opens the door) Look. I know you hate me, but I really... really need to see my sister. Alaric: I think she'll pass. (Alaric tries to shut the door again, but when Jo appears at the door, he leaves it open) Jo: What are you doing here? (Alaric opens the door) Kai: I called to tell you I was sick, and you... you hung up on me. Jo: Because I have food poisoning. Did the sound of me vomiting on the other end of line not clue you in? Kai: Look. There's an issue I've been worried about since the merge because we really didn't do it right. You know, the whole , "You're not my twin" "Hey. That's okay. Close enough" plan? It worked, which is, you know, cool. Hey, I'm even a little bit nice now in case you were wondering. But I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop. And, well, I think it's dropped because I'm... Where's the bathroom? (Kai starts vomiting blood) Jo: Oh, God! Ric! Alaric: (Gives Kai something to vomit into) Here. (Alaric and Jo look concerned) Kai: I don't think you have food poisoning. I was supposed to merge my magic with you. But I got Luke's instead. Ohh. Now I'm defective, and I think that's why you're sick. I kind of feel like I'm dying, actually. And if I die, so do you, dad, Liv, and the rest of our dumb coven. So could you please fix me, like, now? [SCENE_BREAK] [ SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE ] (Damon is putting on a tie for the funeral.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ FLASHBACK: 1857 - SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE ] (Young Stefan is putting on a tie for his mother's funeral. Damon walks in.) Damon: What are you doing? Stefan: Borrowing one of father's ties for the funeral. Damon: He will skin you alive. Take mine. (Takes off his tie and kneels down to put it on Stefan) Okay. Stefan: Did you finish the speech? Damon: Not quite. Stefan: It's an important speech. Damon: I will finish it, Stefan. Stefan: Father said we're not to cry. Damon: That is because father is incapable of human emotion. You are ten. You can cry if you feel like it. Stefan: (Shakes his head) I don't think I will. Damon: Why's that? Stefan: Because mother's angel told me everything would be alright. Damon: When was this? Stefan: Last night in my sleep. She visited me. Did she visit you? Damon: I must have missed it. There. Be on your way. (Pats Stefan on the head, who leaves the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE - PRESENT DAY ] (Stefan is standing behind Damon.) Stefan: Well, I see the eulogy is coming along swimmingly. Damon: It's percolating. Stefan: Listen. I need your advice, and I need you to not be a dick about it because I have no one else to ask. Damon: Oh, this sounds promising. Stefan: What did I just say? (Damon gestures for Stefan to continue) All right, look. Something happened between Caroline and me. Damon: Ooh! Finally! Stefan: And then her mom died, and I haven't had a chance to talk to her about it, and I don't know the best way to handle it. Damon: Oh. Pull the ripcord. Stefan: What? Damon: Well, she's not the one. If she was, you wouldn't have to ask. Stefan: Yeah, but I didn't even- Damon: You've been in love twice in your life, Stefan. Setting aside that it was technically the same face, does this feel like that? (Stefan doesn't answer) Not all love is true love, brother. Caroline wants the real deal, and if you don't, pull the ripcord before you make things worse. Just not today. Let her have today. (Damon leaves the room) [SCENE_BREAK] [ EXT. ARCHER & SON'S FUNERAL HOME ] Ms. McGruder: Your mother was such a vibrant woman. Even after your father ran off with that man. Elena: (rushes in) Thank you, Ms. McGruder. I'm sure we'll see you at the funeral. (quickly leads Caroline away.) Well, welcome to the world of awkward sympathies. That's why you have to be prepared with your responses. I recommend at least three. Caroline: I don't know how you survived this. Elena: Your responses will be different for each category of people in your life: friends of circumstance, casual acquaintances, loved ones. Caroline: I kissed Stefan. I want to talk to him about it, but if it's bad, I feel like he won't be honest, you know, not today. Elena: Then talk to him about it tomorrow. You already have a lot on your plate. Caroline: I think I need to know today. We're behind schedule. Let's go. [SCENE_BREAK] [ JO'S APARTMENT ] (Jo is giving Kai a checkup) Jo: Any joint pain? Kai: Mm-hmm. Jo: Headaches? Kai: Yup. Jo: Are you pregnant? Kai: Stop making jokes. I feel like I'm being scrunched from inside out. This is kinda private. Does your baby-boo need to be here? Alaric: I'm not leaving her alone with you, so deal with it. Jo: Okay. Your vitals are fine, your temperature is normal. I'll wait on pathology, but there is nothing medically wrong with you. Kai: Yeah, duh, because I'm magically diseased. You haven't puked in at least... Jo: (Realizes Kai is about to vomit blood) Oh! (Jo goes to get a trash can for Kai. As he is vomiting, he grabs Jo's arm and absorbs some of her magic.) Alaric: Hey, hey! (pulls Kai off of Jo) Kai: Oh. I feel better. Jo: Yeah because you juice-boxed my magic. Kai: Yeah, sorry about that. That was an accident, but I... Wow! I legitimately feel better. You need to give me your magic. Jo: What? Kai: This faux merge is clearly failing because I was supposed to get your magic, right? (Kai gets up toward Jo, but Alaric stands in front of him) Just - I don't know - put it in a teddy bear or a bed pan and gimmie. (reaches out his hand) Alaric: (Grabs Kai's hand) Listen. I could just as easily break seven little bones with one good squeeze, okay? Kai: I can see you're skeptical, Ric. Can I call you Ric? Hey, buddy, but here's the thing you need to know is that Jo only survives if I do, okay? And if that's not enough for you, the power that binds the prison worlds comes form the leader of the gemini coven. If I die, the worlds collapse, alright? I see vacancy. Would you like me to start over with single syllables? Alaric: Did you say prison worlds, as in more than one? Kai: Has no one ever mentioned that? [SCENE_BREAK] [ 1994 PRISON WORLD - THE CAVE ] Bonnie: This is it. I'm ready. There's no one to stop me. I have magic and the ascendant and the eclipse. (The cave starts to rumble and Bonnie looks up to see a night sky with snow falling.) Bonnie: No. No! (Bonnie climbs out of the hole to find the world covered in snow.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE ] Elena: I'm worried about Caroline. I don't think she's handling this as well as she thinks she is. (sees Damon still writing the eulogy) You're not done yet? Damon: No, I'm not done, and I will never be done. I am not a nice person and should not have to stand in front of the whole town and pretend to be a nice person. This is Liz having a last laugh from the great beyond. Elena: Hey. Easy. You are nice... ish. Damon: Not helping. Elena: This isn't about you, Damon. This isn't even about Liz. It's about Caroline and what she needs to hear. Okay? (kisses Damon on the cheek and leaves the room) [SCENE_BREAK] [ FLASHBACK - 1857, MYSTIC FALLS ] (Damon, holding a bottle of bourbon, walks up to Stefan, who is at their mother's grave) Stefan: You missed your speech. Damon: I know. Stefan: Why? Damon: I did not know what to say. Stefan: (crying) You could have just said goodbye. [SCENE_BREAK] [ SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE - PRESENT DAY ] (Damon starts writing) [SCENE_BREAK] [ JO'S APARTMENT ] Jo: I really don't have a choice. Alaric: Of course you have a choice. It's your magic to give or not give. Jo: What do you think I should do? Alaric: Look, my life is full of martyrs who cave to the bad guy, trying to be heroes, and it never ends well. Somebody inevitably gets hurt or dead, and that somebody could just as easily be you, or Bonnie regardless, no matter what you do. So, if you wanna fight adn keep your magic, I will fight with you. And if not, well... I loved you when you weren't a witch, and I'm pretty sure I will still love you regardless. Jo: Pretty sure? Alaric: Yeah, at least 92%. (Alaric kisses Jo's forehead and they hug) [SCENE_BREAK] [ MYSTIC FALLS CHURCH ] (Many people are walking for the funeral while Caroline is inside looking at Liz's dead body and Stefan walks in) Stefan: Caroline? Doing alright? Caroline: Yeah. Fine. All things... considered. Stefan: (walks over) Sure you're doing okay? Caroline: Mm-hmm. Yeah. No. I don't know. Just now, I was supposed to put you into a category so I would know what to say to you, but then I realized I didn't know what category you would want to be put in. So, uh, I was thinking, "I guess there's no time like the horribly inappropriate present to get to the bottom of that." (pause) I could list the categories if you like. Stefan: Caroline, I, um... I-I want to talk to you about all this. I do, but, maybe when we're alone and you've had a chance to get through the day. Caroline: Yeah. God, of course. Um, this is not the time. I'm so sorry. Stefan: Hey, hey. (hugs Caroline) Don't be sorry. (lets her go) We'll talk when all this is over. (leaves the room) (Caroline adjusts her mom's badge and starts crying. Elena walks in.) Elena: Care. They're ready. Do you need a minute? Caroline: No, I'm okay. (looks at her mom's body) I'm gonna be alright, mom. I promise. Everything will be fine after today. (looks up) I'm ready. [SCENE_BREAK] [ PRISON WORLD ] Bonnie: Okay. Clearly, I've been dropped into a snowy tundra hell dimension. Either that or I finally had a psychotic break. (A green light shines over the world. Bonnie looks up to see the Aurora Borealis) (Bonnie makes her way to a house in the distance and enters it) Bonnie: Incendia! (Several candles in the house light up. Bonnie walks over to the table, where she finds a journal stating that the Northern Lights are a recurring celestial event like the eclipse in the 1994 Prison World. She also finds that she is a prison world of November 1, 1903.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ EXT. MYSTIC FALLS CHURCH ] (Matt is standing outside and Tyler shows up) Matt: There you are. You're late. Tyler: (putting on his jacket) Yeah. Liv used to say she hated all my ties, so I had to find a new one. (slips down the stairs) Matt: Are you drunk? Tyler: That depends. How many days in a row can someone drink before they're just normal? (Tyler tries to enter the church but Matt stops him.) Matt: You're not going in there. Tyler: Back off, man. It's Caroline's mom. I'm not missing her funeral. (Tyler tries to enter again, but Matt stops him, causing him to slip and fall.) Matt: I'm sorry about you and LIv. I know you've been going through a lot of crap, but Caroline does not deserve you bringing it here. (Matt walks inside the church.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ INT. MYSTIC FALLS CHURCH ] Pastor: We are here today to pay our tribute and our respect to a pillar of our community, our sister, our protector, Sheriff Elizabeth Forbes. We are also here today to show our love and support for Liz's family and friends. (The pastor's words fade as Elena reaches out to Caroline's hand. Police force members walk up to honor Sheriff Forbes. They place an American flag over her casket.) Officer: Calling Sheriff Forbes. This is the last call for Sheriff Forbes. (Matt leans forward as if getting an idea) No response. Radio Number 2-6 is out of service after twelve years and four months of police service. Gone, but never forgotten. Center! (The officers return to their seats and Damon walks up for the eulogy.) Damon: Liz Forbes was my friend. In her last moments, she asked me to pass along a message to her daughter, but I cut her off before she could say too much. I told her she could tell Caroline herself, but she didn't get that chance. Your mom wanted you to know how proud of you she was, and she should be. You're a beautiful, strong woman, a generous friend, and a bright light in a sea of dark. She said you were extraordinary, and you are, and so was she. Liz was a hero to this town. She was a hero to all of you. And she was a hero to me. Goodbye, Sheriff. You will be missed. (Damon returns to his seat and Caroline walks up.) Caroline: Thank you all for coming. This is for my mom. Go in peace. Go in kindness. Go in love. Go in faith. Leave the day. The day behind us. The day is done. Go in grace. Let us go into the dark. Not afraid. Not alone. Let us hope by some good pleasure. Safely to. Arrive at home. [SCENE_BREAK] [ MYSTIC GRILL ] Tyler: I'm sober. Don't ask me to leave. Matt: I'm not. I'm glad you pulled it together. The thing is, Ty, I get it, alright? We've all been through so much that it's bound to make us a little crazy. But I was thinking, you know, watching the way all those cops honored her today, I want to be a part of something like that. So I talked to one of the deputies, and he gave me an application. There's this, uh, officer training program. Seems pretty cool, you know, like something I'm supposed to be a part of. I got one for you too. (At the front of the grill, Caroline gets ready to leave.) Elena: Hey, are you leaving? Caroline: Yeah. I think I've done the whole funeral thing enough for one day. Elena: I'll walk you home. Caroline: No, it's two blocks. I'll be fine, Elena. Elena: I just don't think it's a good idea for you to be alone tonight, you know? Caroline: I think that's exactly what I need actually. (hugs Elena) Thank you for everything you did today, Elena. I'll never forget it. Elena: You're welcome. But- Caroline: I'll be fine, Elena. Okay? I just had to get through today. (Caroline leaves and Elena looks as if something has dawned onto her.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ 1903 PRISON WORLD - UNKNOWN HOUSE ] (At a table inside the house, Bonnie finds a picture of Damon and Stefan, realizing she is in the Salvatore Boarding House.) Bonnie: Oh, my God. [SCENE_BREAK] [ JO'S APARTMENT ] Jo: Let's do this. Kai: Ahh. Me, our coven, and the prison worlds thank you. Alaric: What exactly is this other prison world? Kai: A place filled with crappy people like me, I'm sure. (to Jo) Congrats. You're saving their miserable lives from Oblivion. (pinching Jo's cheeks) Oh, don't look so stressed. (Jo shakes him off) You never liked being a witch anyway. Jo: Shut up. (Jo places her hands on Kai's cheeks) Oribos turai manecsitus. Orbiem. Oribos turai- [SCENE_BREAK] [ 1903 PRISON WORLD - SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE ] (The house starts shaking and Bonnie runs out and finds herself back in the woods in the 1994 Prison World. Bonnie sees the eclipse and checks her watch; it is nearly 12:28.) Bonnie: Oh, God. (runs for the hole) [SCENE_BREAK] [ JO'S APARTMENT ] Jo: Oribos turai manecsitus. Orbiem [SCENE_BREAK] [ 1994 PRISON WORLD - THE WOODS ] (Bonnie runs through the woods as Jo chants. The prison world is shifting between 1994 and 1903. Bonnie makes it to the hole.) Bonnie: I can do this. The Northern Lights, the eclipse, they're both recurring events. (checks her watch) I can get out of here. (cuts her hand on the ascendant) Come on, come on. Sangina mearma, ascendarum cavea. Sangina mearma, ascendarum cavea. Sangina mearma, ascendarum cavea. Sangina mearma- (While Bonnie was chanting, the Northern Lights shift to the eclipse and a woman walked towards Bonnie.) Woman: Who are you? Bonnie: Who are you? (Bonnie returns to the real world.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ JO'S APARTMENT ] (Jo has just finished giving Kai her magic.) Jo: It's done. Kai: Ahh. Thank you. And congratulations. (Jo looks confused so Kai whispers into her ear.) Kai: Have a good life, Sissie. (Kai leaves) Alaric: What'd he say? Jo: The reason I was sick, it wasn't food poisoning. Alaric: What was it? Jo: He said that I'm pregnant. I don't know what to say. I don't hmm... I don't know what to do with that. Alaric: Marry me. Jo: What?! No, no. That's a pity proposal. You can't throw a pity proposal at a pregnant ex-witch. I don't even know if I want kids, let alone get married. (Alaric takes a ring box out of his pocket) Oh, my God. What are you doing? Alaric: I bought this the day after your brother died. Caroline's mother was sick and you were in danger. And I just thought life's too short. And I've been trying to plan for the right moment, which was supposed to be this morning with breakfast in bed, you know, until you started puking up last night's dinner. Jo: Ric. Alaric: We can talk about choices and all that. We can. But I would really love to have this baby with you. That's, uh, something I never thought I'd have. So this isn't a pity proposal, Jo. I love you. (Alaric kneels down and opens the box to reveal a diamond ring.) Marry me. Jo: (sits down) I can't believe this. Are you sure? Alaric: At least 92%. Jo: Yes. Yes. Yes. (Alaric and Jo smile and hug.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ MYSTIC GRILL ] (Damon is finishing a drink at the bar and Stefan walks up to talk to him) Stefan: Nice speech. Damon: Thanks. Stefan: What broke through the writer's block? Damon: I just needed to be reminded that the goodbye wasn't about me. I failed you by not doing the eulogy at our mother's funeral. (Stefan gives Damon a surprised look.) I didn't want to fail anyone today. Stefan: I think you were wrong about Caroline. I realized that I may not be able to explain what I feel for her, but it is something. And yeah, maybe all love isn't true love in the messed up way that you and I have experienced it but, I think this could turn into something even better. Damon: Well then, brother, stop wasting your time sitting here with me. I think she could use a piece of news like that today. (Stefan heads over to Caroline's house.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ CAROLINE'S HOUSE ] (Caroline walks through the door and places the flag on a table. She takes her mom's sweater and puts it to her nose and puts it down. Caroline notices Elena is behind her.) Caroline: I said I was fine, Elena. Elena: I don't believe you. (Caroline turns around.) All day, something has been bugging me. You wanted to pack this all in so quickly like you had somewhere you needed to be. I mean, you were so concerned with getting through today without a hint of how you'd feel tomorrow. And then I realized. You don't want to feel tomorrow. That's the plan, right? You're not going to feel tomorrow because you're going t turn it all off. Caroline: I thought I could get through the rough patch and just pick myself up after like I usually do, but then Damon made me realize it's just going to get worse. Elena: You listened to Damon? Caroline: I can't do worse, Elena, okay? I didn't even think there was a worse. It's better this way. Elena: Better? Care, you're talking about flipping the humanity switch. There's nothing better about that. Caroline: That is your experience, okay? I have more control over my vampire side than you ever did. My experience will be different. Elena: It's not gonna be different, Care. It's gonna be deadly. You saw what happened to me when I did it. Caroline: Yeah, that's my point, Elena. You did it. You couldn't handle the pain when your brother died, so you turned it off. Damon died, and you erased all your memories. Stefan moved to Savannah and became an auto mechanic. What, do you think that you guys are the only ones who get to escape grief? Elena: You just mentioned two of the biggest mistakes that I ever made. Caroline: Were they mistakes? Because when you came out the other end, the worst part of the pain was gone, and that's what I need. I just need the pain to be gone. Elena: And if Stefan had said the right thing earlier, would that have changed your mind? (Caroline looks shocked.) Yeah. I heard. Caroline: Well, he didn't, so it really doesn't matter. (starts to cry) My mom is dead, Elena. I-It hurts so bad, I can't breathe. I can't-I can't do worse. I can't, okay? I shouldn't have to. Elena: No one should have to. It's not fair. It's not. I get it. I do. (Elena hugs Caroline.) And I know you think that you have it all figured out, but please listen to me. I'm not gonna let you do this. (Caroline breaks Elena's neck.) Caroline: (emotionless) That's not your choice to make. [SCENE_BREAK] [ SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE ] Damon: (leaving a voicemail) Where'd you go, Elena? Call me back. (Damon walks into the kitchen and sees pancakes on the table. He looks up and sees Bonnie.) Damon: Bonnie? Bonnie: One and only. (Damon opens his arms and Bonnie jumps in for a hug.) Damon: Oh, you made it! [SCENE_BREAK] [ CAROLINE'S HOUSE ] (Stefan walks in.) Stefan: Caroline? Sorry to barge in. Door was unlocked. (He walks in and finds Elena's unconscious body. Stefan runs over to her, but Caroline is nowhere to be found.) Caroline! Caroline! [SCENE_BREAK] [ SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE ] (Damon is looking at the picture Bonnie brought back from the 1903 prison world.) Damon: I don't get it. So you were in my house in a 1903 prison world. Bonnie: (takes out the video camera) Watch this. I didn't know it was still on when I got pulled out. Damon: Congratulations. You shot some walls. Bonnie: Just wait. Woman: (on camera) Who are you? Bonnie: (on camera) Who are you? Damon: Who is this? Bonnie: There. Stop. (pauses to get a clear view of the woman) Damon: Oh, my God. Bonnie: What? Damon: It's my mother. [ END ]

Bonnie has her magic back thanks to Damon's message and is planning to return home that night. Kai is dying because he merged with Luke instead of Jo. He tells Jo that unless she gives him her magic, they and the rest of the coven will die and the prison worlds will collapse. Meanwhile, Damon is struggling to write Liz a eulogy and is having flashbacks to his mother's funeral. He also tells Caroline that it will only get harder for her later after everyone expects her to move on. Before Liz's funeral, Caroline tries to ask Stefan how he feels about her, but he responds by saying that he'll talk to her about it later. The funeral takes place: Damon gives the eulogy, Caroline sings, and the police honor Liz one last time. The moving display prompts Matt to get an application to join the police for both himself and Tyler, who has been drinking heavily since his breakup with Liv. Jo decides to give Kai her magic, and as this is taking place, Bonnie's prison world shifts in and out of the Salvatore home in 1903, when the aurora borealis was taking place. Right before she is about to return home, she sees a woman who asks her who she is, but before she can learn more, she returns to the normal world. Kai feels healthy after receiving Jo's magic, but before he leaves, he tells her that she is pregnant. Alaric proposes to her, telling her that he had already been planning to propose before the news, and she accepts. After Liz's funeral, Caroline returns home, but Elena follows her and confronts her after realizing that Caroline plans to turn off her humanity to stop her pain and prevent what Damon warned her about. Caroline decides to go through with it anyway and breaks Elena's neck. Stefan realizes that what he feels for Caroline could turn into something deeper and goes to her house, but he sees Elena lying on the ground. Damon reunites with Bonnie, and when Bonnie shows him the video she accidentally took while she was escaping, Damon realizes that the woman Bonnie saw was his mother.

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_04x22

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_04x22_0

THE UNDERWATER MENACE by GEOFFREY ORME first broadcast - 4th February 1967 [SCENE_BREAK] 1. THOUS' CHAMBER (THOUS, ruler of Atlantis, lies on the floor. He has just been shot by Zaroff.) ZAROFF: Kill these two men. (ZAROFF's guards obey.) ZAROFF: NOTHING IN THE WORLD CAN SHTOP ME NOW!!!! [SCENE_BREAK] 2. THOUS' CHAMBER, LATER BEN: Doctor, look at this! Someone's been having a right punch-up in here. (The DOCTOR and BEN go to help.) BEN: It's the guv'nor. DOCTOR: It's Thous! BEN: Is he alright? DOCTOR: I don't know. Doesn't seem to have hit anything vital. BEN: Doesn't look too good, though. DOCTOR: Neither would you with a bullet in you. BEN: If we don't stop Zaroff soon, we'll all be for the chop! DOCTOR: I know. Come on, we must get him to safety. BEN: Well then what? DOCTOR: To the generating station. [SCENE_BREAK] 3. CHAMBER BEHIND AMDO JACKO: Are you sure the Doctor said we are to meet here? ARA: He must come back soon. SEAN: Well if he's not back in five minutes we move on. Okay? JACKO: Oh, where to, if the whole world is going to blow up in a couple of hours? SEAN: Ha ha. You're a great comfort to have around, did anyone ever tell you that? ARA: Look out. (Footsteps.) DOCTOR: Anyone at home? ARA: Oh, Doctor! (She sees THOUS.) ARA: Oo, what's wrong? BEN: He's wounded, but don't worry Ara, he'll be alright. DOCTOR: Where's Polly and Jamie? ARA: They've gone to Zaroff's laboratory. DOCTOR: Why? ARA: To look for you. I showed them which way to go and then they told me to come back here and wait. DOCTOR: We'll have to find them. Now, listen everyone. I have a plan. SEAN: Good. DOCTOR: It might even work. SEAN: Well? DOCTOR: Our one hope of stopping Zaroff is to flood all this lower part of Atlantis. BEN: But that means in here. DOCTOR: Yes. The temple, and Zaroff's laboratory. SEAN: Yes, but will the water stop there? DOCTOR: Don't know. We'll have to take that chance. JACKO: Yeah, but the people here... DOCTOR: They'll have to be warned and moved to a higher level. That's your job and Sean's. SEAN: And you? DOCTOR: Ben and I will try and get into the generating station. We'll turn up the power on the reactor, break down the sea walls and flood the laboratory. There's only one thing that's worrying me. SEAN: What's that? DOCTOR: Can we all swim? [SCENE_BREAK] 4. ZAROFF'S LAB VOICE: Stabilizer station Z-2 calling, stabilizer station Z-2 calling. Routine check. TECHNICIAN: Control receiving. VOICE: Stabilizers normal, nothing to report. TECHNICIAN: Thank you, station Z-2, report again at zero minus five. VOICE: Will do. TECHNICIAN: That's in another ten minutes. VOICE: Priority, priority. Reactor station Z-3 calling. Reactor station Z-3 calling. ZAROFF: Zaroff here. VOICE: Reading maximum. Gauges four, five and six steady. Gauge three fluctuating and unpredictable. ZAROFF: Bring in the reserve. VOICE: The reserve? But if that fails... ZAROFF: That is an order! Report back if the fault continues. VOICE: Yes, Professor. ZAROFF: Nothing can go wrong now. Nothing MUST go wrong. VOICE: Emergency, power network control. ZAROFF: Zaroff here, what's the problem? VOICE: Station eleven is no longer operating, the workers have deserted. ZAROFF: Deserted? What's the matter with them? Where are they? VOICE: They're off looking for food. ZAROFF: Why? VOICE: The food supplies have not arrived, and there's a rumor that we're facing starvation. They've all panicked. ZAROFF: And no reserves? VOICE: That's right. ZAROFF: Get them back at once. Send the guards after them. VOICE: I've had to bring the guards into the plant to prevent a complete breakdown. ZAROFF: Well do the best you can. I get more men to you within the hour. (He turns the communicator off.) ZAROFF: Blast! Blast! Blast! [SCENE_BREAK] 5. TUNNEL DOCTOR: Come on. BEN: A guard! How are we gonna get past him? DOCTOR: We'll walk past him. BEN: What, in those trousers? DOCTOR: Well you think I look a bit conspicuous, do you? BEN: A bit, yeah. DOCTOR: Maybe you're right. I know! You're a guard, and I'm a prisoner, right? BEN: Right! DOCTOR: Just don't make a mess of it, there's a good chap. (They advance toward the guard.) GUARD: Halt! BEN: Prisoner and escort for Professor Zaroff. GUARD: Password? BEN: Eh? GUARD: Password? BEN: Yeah, well look it's alright for you giving me the old chat, mate, but I know nothing about passwords. I've been out chasing this burke all day. GUARD: Professor Zaroff's not here anyway. BEN: Well I know that. My orders was to bring him here and wait. GUARD: That's all very well. How do I know he's a wanted man? BEN: Well, blimey, look at him. He ain't normal, is he? GUARD: Yes, I see what you mean. (He opens the door.) GUARD: Alright. DOCTOR: You don't know the password either! GUARD: It's Oscar. Get him out of here! BEN: (Pushing the Doctor.) Alright, get out! Thanks, mate. [SCENE_BREAK] 6. OUTSIDE THE POWER STATION DOCTOR: Very well done, Ben, well done. I'm not quite sure about that not being normal bit, but very well done. I couldn't have done better myself. BEN: Thanks. (Their path is blocked by another guard.) GUARD: Halt. Give the password. BEN: Oscar. GUARD: Ah, its Oscar. DOCTOR: Come on, now, we've got little time. [SCENE_BREAK] 7. GENERATING STATION BEN: What now? DOCTOR: Cut those cables. (BEN does so. The generating machinery start making strange noises.) BEN: You know what you're doing? DOCTOR: Oh what a question. Of course I don't! There's no rule against trying, is there? There. Now, Zaroff's laboratory. He should be feeling the effects of this little lot any time now. [SCENE_BREAK] 8. TUNNEL JAMIE: There's a gap through here. POLLY: Oo, Jamie, I think we're lost. Are you sure this is the way Ara told us to come? JAMIE: Aye. All the tunnels look alike, though. POLLY: Listen. We must be somewhere below Zaroff's power source. JAMIE: Aye, it's like the beating of the Devil's heart. POLLY: You're not far wrong. We better keep going. The laboratory can't be far away. JAMIE: Aye, but which way? [SCENE_BREAK] 9. ZAROFF'S LAB ZAROFF: That reading must be wrong, you idiot. I check it myself. No that's not possible. Come here. Look at that reading. That's all we need now, radiation leak. Where the Devil is it coming from? [SCENE_BREAK] 10. TUNNEL, A LEDGE JAMIE: Ah, I told you, don't look down. POLLY: But Jamie, look. The wall down there, it's glowing. JAMIE: What is it? POLLY: It could be radiation. JAMIE: Well what's that? POLLY: Radiation? Well it's... well it's too difficult to explain. The walls are beginning to crumble, it's all that vibration. JAMIE: Let's see, the sea's on the other side of that wall. Now if that gives way... There must be way up to higher ground. (They hear the sound of water flooding in. Desperately, they begin climbing.) POLLY: ...get... breath. JAMIE: Lucky it's uphill. Take more time for the water to reach us. POLLY: What's that? JAMIE: It's given way. The sea's breaking through. [SCENE_BREAK] 11. CAVE SEAN: Huh? Will you listen to that. JACKO: What is it? SEAN: How would I know, but it certainly isn't closing time at Betty Murphy's pub. It can be only one thing. It's the Doctor, of course. He's started to flood Atlantis. The sea's breaking in. THOUS: To raise Atlantis from the sea was only the dream of a madman after all. ARA: Rest. Don't speak. JACKO: Aye, rest. SEAN: And you best forget about all that now and look to the future. That is, if we're going to have any future. (The sound of the water flooding in grows louder.) SEAN: Well, personally speaking, not being a terribly good swimmer myself, I think I'll just start to make a move. JACKO: Ah we've got a visitor. (DAMON enters.) SEAN: Damon, you got my warning. DAMON: My operating room. A life's work, washed away. THOUS: (Weakly.) Damon... DAMON: Thous. THOUS: We can start again, Damon. SEAN: Look, if we don't hurry and get onto high ground above water level, we're going to be turned into fish food. DAMON: Yes, you're right. Quite so. I'll help. We've got a long way to go yet. SEAN: Come on, Jacko, up. (They help the injured THOUS to his feet.) SEAN: Gently now. That's it. [SCENE_BREAK] 12. TUNNEL POLLY: Oh, no! It's a dead end. JAMIE: Aye... POLLY: Jamie, we must go back, we've got to warn the others. There must be another turning. JAMIE: No, I kept an eye open for one on the way up. Besides, would you listen to that water. POLLY: We've got to get out of here somehow. JAMIE: You see that? (His torch flickers.) JAMIE: There's a draught. Right, that's what we'll follow. I'll go first, and you stay close behind me. (They head off, ever upward.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13. CAVE, HIGHER UP (DAMON examines THOUS.) DAMON: Artificial respiration. Your wound? THOUS: A little better. How is my poor country? DAMON: The water has already flooded the lower parts of the city. THOUS: The great enemy, which we held at bay for so many centuries, the ever-lasting nightmare, is here at last... DAMON: Rescue parties are being organized. All passages have been blocked, except the main shaft. We're keeping that open till the last to give the stragglers a chance. THOUS: What of Lolem the priest? DAMON: Well, last seen he was going towards the temple to seek aid from Amdo. THOUS: He is lost, then. SEAN: We may still find them. Are you alright there? DAMON: You look after yourself. SEAN: Oh, hey Jacko? Any luck? JACKO: What do you expect? They must have all been drowned. SEAN: Ah well. Probably a better death than the one that's in store for us when Zaroff lets off his explosion. [SCENE_BREAK] 14. ZAROFF'S LAB ZAROFF: No one, I repeat, no one will leave his place. Everything goes according to schedule, except that the time of the big detonation has been advanced. The whole project will be activated from this control point. That is all until zero minus five. (The DOCTOR enters.) ZAROFF: Ah, we was expect you. DOCTOR: Good day to you, I hope I'm not too late. ZAROFF: There is a man who has been trying to sabotage all our plans. Make sure he doesn't leave us now. (ZAROFF's guards seize the DOCTOR and BEN.) DOCTOR: Oooo, how very nice of you, but I'm afraid I've interrupted something important, haven't I? Oh, yes, I can see that I have. You were on the point of exploding your firecracker, weren't you? ZAROFF: Hahahaha. DOCTOR: I hope you've let these gentlemen into your big secret. ZAROFF: They share everything with me. DOCTOR: Naturally. They can't help themselves, can they? They must be devoted to you, to allow you to blow them all to pieces! TECHNICIAN: What's he talking about, Professor? DOCTOR: Ooo, have I dropped a brick? Oh I seem to have shaken something. Zaroff, I think you ought to know the sea has broken through and is about to overwhelm us here. ZAROFF: Don't listen to him. The man lies. DOCTOR: Then perhaps the distant roaring that we can hear is just the goddess Amdo with the indigestion? TECHNICIANS: He's right. Come on! (The technicians and guards flee.) ZAROFF: Don't be alarmed. Don't be fooled. Ah. They're cowards, traitors. But it doesn't matter. DOCTOR: Time is running out, Zaroff. Hadn't you better call it a day? ZAROFF: You cannot beat me, Doctor. (ZAROFF operates a control. A transparent screen descends between ZAROFF's console and the rest of the lab.) ZAROFF: Ahahaha. You see, I haff anticipated every situation. There was always a possibility that someone would try to keep me from my ultimate moment of triumph. Now no one can get through this, and all the controls are on this side. Now all I must do is press the plunger when the needle of that dial is over the thousand mark. Simple, no? I tell you, so that you may share the last, great experiment of Zaroff! Hahahaha. BEN: He's off his rocker. DOCTOR: I know. We've got to get him out of there. Come up here, I've got an idea. ZAROFF: Don't go away, Doctor, you will DIE just the same. You might as well shtay and watch me. [SCENE_BREAK] 15. TUNNEL JAMIE: Hold the candle. Oh, would you be careful? POLLY: Sorry, I didn't do it on purpose. JAMIE: Right. POLLY: Any luck? JAMIE: Aye, there's a wee hole down there. I can't see where it leads to though. But if you're willing to take a chance? POLLY: Do we have a choice? (They enter. Water floods behind them.) POLLY: Only just in time. JAMIE: Aye, we're not out of the woods yet. [SCENE_BREAK] 16. ZAROFF'S LAB BEN: Doctor, I've got to go, the water's nearly here. ZAROFF: I see you haff your deserters, too, Doctor. That leaves just you and me. DOCTOR: Off you go Ben. BEN: Goodbye. ZAROFF: Young fool. I will press the plunger long before the water gets here. The result will be the same. DOCTOR: I know. But it's much more exciting in the dark! (The laboratory lights go off.) ZAROFF: Hahahahaha. Doctor, you are a comedian. (The lights come back on.) ZAROFF: You see, keep very still, Doctor, we haff an emergency system here. You haff solved nothing. Now unfortunately I haff to tie you up. Turn around. (LOLEM emerges from his place of concealment behind ZAROFF's equipment. He is brandishing a sacrificial knife.) ZAROFF: No! No! You cannot do this to me. (ZAROFF sees his pistol on the other side of the screen. He raises the screen and dives for the weapon. LOLEM advances on ZAROFF, who fires at the priest.) ZAROFF: No. No. No. (The DOCTOR races to the control panel. He operates switches at random, and runs from the laboratory.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17. TUNNEL BEN: Doctor, hurry. Now what's the matter? DOCTOR: Ben, I've been thinking. I can't leave Zaroff to drown down there. I'm going back for him. BEN: But why on Earth? We've got to get out of here quick or we'll be cut off! DOCTOR: But we can't leave him there. BEN: Look, you're coming with me. [SCENE_BREAK] 18. ANOTHER TUNNEL POLLY: Oh, it's no use, Jamie, I'll never make it. JAMIE: Course you can. One wee slope, we're away. POLLY: And another and another and another. It's no use, I won't, Jamie... JAMIE: Come on. POLLY: No, no, I can't, Jamie, I can't I can't I can't. JAMIE: Polly! Polly! Come on. I'll help you. [SCENE_BREAK] 19. TUNNEL (Water floods in behind the DOCTOR and BEN.) DOCTOR: Zaroff. He's cut off. BEN: Zaroff? Who cares about him? That means the others must be, too. Well are they? DOCTOR: Well how do I know? All we can do is to go on going up. Come on. [SCENE_BREAK] 20. ZAROFF'S LAB (The sea floods into the lab. ZAROFF is unable to escape.) [SCENE_BREAK] 21. TUNNEL DOCTOR: Nearly there. Course, if you will lie down and sleep. BEN: Who said anything about lying down? [SCENE_BREAK] 22. SURFACE JAMIE: Come on. Fresh air. POLLY: Oh. We made it. Ben and the Doctor? JAMIE: Think he wouldn't have had much of a chance back there. They may have. (Other survivors are emerging from tunnels and caves, and are scattered along the foreshore.) [SCENE_BREAK] 23. SURFACE, ELSEWHERE THOUS: Any sign of the Doctor? ARA: No. He must have died saving us. THOUS: We'll raise a stone to him in the temple. DAMON: No. No more temples. It was temples and priests and superstition that made us follow Zaroff in the first place. When the water's found it's own level, the temple will be buried forever. We shall never return to it. But we will have enough left to build a new Atlantis, without gods, and without fish people. THOUS: Yes... That shall be his memorial. [SCENE_BREAK] 24. TUNNEL BEN: Doctor, what about Polly? (They continue their climb in silence.) [SCENE_BREAK] 25. SURFACE, TUNNEL ENTRANCE (POLLY hears a sound from the gloom.) POLLY: It can be anyone. JAMIE: Wait. DOCTOR: Boo! JAMIE: You? DOCTOR: Me? JAMIE: We thought you were dead. DOCTOR: What? Polly, good to see. Come on, you two. (They head for the Tardis.) [SCENE_BREAK] 26. SURFACE (SEAN and JACKO have also made their way outside.) SEAN: Oh, no I can't believe it. JACKO: What? SEAN: A flamin' English police box. (The box disappears before their eyes.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27. TARDIS CONSOLE ROOM DOCTOR: Right. Off we go go into the wide blue yonder, as someone was once heard to remark. POLLY: Hoo-ray. BEN: Yeah, I'm not sorry to be out of that place. Poo, Jamie you don't half stink of fish! JAMIE: Oh, you want to take a wee sniff of yourself, Benjamin. He's not exactly a bonnie bunch of heather. (BEN laughs.) DOCTOR: You sound very happy, Jamie. JAMIE: Oh aye, Doctor, I am now. You know I never thought I'd say this, but well it's great. POLLY: What is? JAMIE: All this. I'll never know what makes it go, mind you, but, well at least I feel safe in here. It's only the wee things outside that are, well, alarming. DOCTOR: You've got a point there. BEN: Yeah, you can say that again. JAMIE: It's a fact, though, Doctor? You can't exactly control the Tardis? DOCTOR: Control it? Course I can control it. JAMIE: No no what I meant was, can you not exactly make it go where you mean it to? DOCTOR: If I wanted to. It's just that I've never wanted to. BEN: Oh, yeah, I bet. POLLY: Ooow. DOCTOR: Right! Just for that, I'll show you. Now, where shall we go? I know, let's go to Mars. (The DOCTOR operates a control. The Tardis lurches violently.) POLLY: Aaah! Doctor, what's happening? BEN: Can't you do something? DOCTOR: Do something? I seem to have done something. It's all your fault, wanting me to tamper with the steering. I'm very sorry, everybody, but I'm afraid the Tardis is out of control! POLLY: Aaaaaaaaaaa!

With Zaroff's plan nearing completion, the Doctor and Ben realise the only way to save the world is to destroy Atlantis.

fd_Angel_04x01

fd_Angel_04x01_0

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Angel: "Darla." Darla: "We did so many terrible things together." Flashback to Angelus and Darla. Cordy: "Did you and Darla..." Angel and Darla doing the nasty. Angel: "Once. It was a very dark time." Darla, looking like she swallowed a basketball. Angel: "This is impossible. Vampires can't have children." Darla: "We did." Wes looking at the sonogram. Wesley: "It's human. You're carrying a boy." Angel: "I'm gonna have a son." Darla: "Our baby's gonna die." Darla staking herself, the baby left behind as the dust settles. Darla: "This child is the one good thing we ever did together." Angel taking Connor for a checkup. Angel: "I'm Mr. Dad!" Holtz walking into burning Caritas. Lilah: "Daniel Holtz. Angel massacred his family and he spent the rest of his life seeking revenge." Holtz and Justine fighting in the cemetary. Holtz: "I want you to go out and find others like you. People who have suffered like we have." Gunn and Fred find Wes' notes. Gunn: "Wes thought that Angel..." Fred: "...was gonna kill Connor." Justine slits Wes' throat. Lorne: "He's taking the baby away - for good." Holtz, holding Connor, jumps through the portal into Quortoth. Holtz: "I'll take good care of him as my own son." Angel tries to smother Wes at the hospital. Angel: "Son of a bitch! I'll never forgive you! Never!" Fred visits Wes. Fred: "You should have trusted us. Don't come back to the hotel - ever!" Lilah at Wes' apartment. Wes: "You're going to offer me a job. Not interested." Lilah and Wes in bed. Lilah: "Don't pretend you're too good to work for us." Fred and Gunn kissing. Fred: "What is it about you that makes me melt?" Gunn: "Maybe it's the I love you." Connor drops out of the rift. Angel: "Connor." Justine: "Don't make me do it!" Justine stabs Holtz in the throat with an ice pick. Connor cries, holding Holtz' corpse. Cordy phoning Angel: "I sort of need to talk to you." Cordy driving: "I'm late! I'm late." Connor walks up to Angel at the bluff. Angel: "Connor. What are you doing here?" Connor attacks Angel. Skip: "What you are being called to do transcends love. You've become a higher being." Cordy: "Me?" Connor locking Angel into his coffin: "You murdered my father." Angel: "I didn't. She knows it. Connor! Never forget that I'm your father and that I love you." Justine and Connor push Angel's coffin into the ocean." Cordy, ascending in a glowing white light: "I know that, somehow, it's all gonna be alright." Angel sinks into the deep. Connor: "You don't get to die. You get to live - forever." Lorne hands Fred a bowl full of mashed potatoes across a laden Thanksgiving table. Lorne: "Here you go, darling." Fred: "Thanks." Gunn: "You're gonna eat all that?" Fred: "Until I'm fat and happy." Lorne: "Hmm, these look good, too." Cordy: "How about that stuffing?" Connor: "What are those?" Cordy: "Sweet Potatoes." Lorne: "Oh, pass those over here, doll." Cordy hands Connor a bowl full of sweet potatoes. Connor: "Are they good?" Cordy: "Try them." Lorne: "Back in Pylea they used to call me 'sweet potato.'" Connor: "Really." Lonre: "Yeah, well, the exact translation was 'fragrant tuber' but..." The group chuckles at his joke. Cordy: "You're not hungry?" Angel: "No! I'm starving. It's just... I wanna freeze this moment. You - Connor - all of us - safe - and happy - and together. Considering what we went through over the summer..." Wes leans forward to raise his glass in a toast: "To family." Angel, smiling, raises his own glass as the others follow suit: "To family." Lorne: "As long as it is not mine!" Everyone laughs and clinks glasses. Cordy picks up a water pitcher and holds it over Angel's glass. Cordy: "You can't toast with an empty glass." Angel: "It's not bad luck, is it?" Cordy: "Angel, relax. It's over. Things are back the way they should be and nothing is ever going to break us apart again. (Leans closer towards Angel) And if anything tries I'm gonna have to go all glowy and personally kick it's ass." Angel, leaning closer: "I like it when you glow." Cordy, leaning closer still: "Well, play your cards right..." They're close enough to kiss, smiling into each other's eyes. Connor: "Do I have to watch this part?" Angel reaches over to ruffle Connor's hair. Angel: "I could poke your eyes out." Connor, chuckling, finger combs his hair back: "Come on, dad! It'll stick up like yours." Angel: "You should be so lucky. Let's eat!" Fred: "Rolls?" Gunn: "Hmm. Those look good." Cordy: "Careful, those are hot." Everyone starts eating, passing more food around, but somehow nothing ever comes within Angel's reach. Gunn: "Yeah! Now we're talking." Connor: "I like this stuff." Cordy: "I thought you would." Angel: "Can I get the, ah..." Wes: "Delicious." Fred: "Pass the carrots please." Cordy: "Smells so good." Gunn, as Fred snags a bean from him: "Hey, get your hands out of my plate." Lorne: "Can I have the rolls?" Wes: "Pass the salt please." Fred: "Kill me now before my stomach explodes." Cordy: "Hey, try the gravy." Lorne: "Yeah, look, it comes in a little boat." Angel: "Could I get that..." Angel grabs a platter as it is passed in front of him and sets it down on his plate, but when he looks down at it all that remains on it are some juices. Angel: "Cordy, what..." Angel moves his hand and knocks his water-filled wineglass to the floor, where it shatters into a thousand pieces. Cordy: "Now look what you've done silly." The warm, festive light is suddenly replaced with a bluish watery glow as Angel stares down to find his feet ankle deep in water. Angel's skin has turned pasty white and cracks have appeared on his cheeks, chin and forehead. Connor: "Freeze the moment, dad. It'll last forever." The camera pulls back to show the table stripped of food and deserted. Angel's eyes snap open. He is lying in his coffin at the bottom of the ocean. Intro: Fred and Gunn are running down a dark alley, they round a fence corner and pile into Gunn's truck. Gunn: "Are you okay?" Fred: "No. You?" Gunn: "No." Fred: "It's nice we still do these things together." Gunn driving off: "How're we doing?" A vampire lands on the hood of the truck. Fred: "About the same." The vampire smashes the windshield in with his fist. Fred: "Charles!" Gunn: "Hang on!" Gunn swerves crazily, finally managing to dislodge the vamp. Gunn stops the truck. A red convertible pulls up and three more vamps get out of it as Gunn and Fred get out as well. Gunn: "Now you're ass better be insured!" Bald vamp helps the downed vamp to his feet: "Now you ought to be worried about your own ass, mister! Couple of warm bloods rolling down *my* street, hustling my hermanos? Ain't gonna fly, homey!" Fred: "We're just looking for the girl." Gunn: "Tell us where she is and we're gone." Bad vamp: "Who? Marissa? I thought you guys were supposed to be a couple of detectives. Or was that before your buddy Angel went bye-bye?" Gunn: "We found you, didn't we?" Bad vamp: "Yeah, and look what it got you!" Fred steps forward, aiming a crossbow at Bald vamp: "We just want to talk to her, that's all." Bald vamp, after a quick look around: "Condemned building on Figueroa, top floor, and tell her I want my CDs back, yeah?" Gunn: "We'll pass it along." Bald vamp: "Nah, you know what? Better yet - I think I'll tell her myself!" Fred shoots, but the vamp deflects the bolt. Fred drops one crossbow to pick up another, loaded one, while Gunn attacks, but Bald Vamp grabs her by the throat before she can finish. Bald Vamp: "I see Angel left you a little toy toy, huh?" Fred: "More than one." Fred stakes him using Angel wrist-stake-launcher, then picks up the loaded crossbow. Fred: "Charles!" Gunn twists aside and Fred shoots the vamp his was pummeling. Gunn grabs the arrow as the vamp dusts, and stakes the third vamp with it, leaving only one. This last one snatches Gunn's hubcap-ax from the ground and throws it at Fred. Before either Fred or Gunn can move, Conner suddenly appears out of nowhere, snatches the ax out of the air before it can reach Fred and launches it back at the vamp, decapitating him. Gunn stares up at Connor, whose face splits into a grin. Connor: "Did you see that? Wasn't that cool? (Laughs) That was cool!" Flashy transition cut to the Hyperion. Fred, Connor, and Gunn enter the lobby. Fred: "You're not supposed to run off like that when we're supposed to be working, honey. We've talked about that." Connor: "The rest of the gang was getting away." Gunn: "Then let them. What you don't do is divide your strength." Connor drops on the settee: "Sorry." Fred: "We know things were different in Quortoth, but you're in Los Angeles now. Your taking on a big responsibility." Gunn: "Connor, you've got to start thinking about more than just yourself!" Connor: "I know. - I know." Connor glances up at Gunn and smiles. Connor: "That thing with the ax was cool, huh?" Gunn and Fred exchange a glance. Fred turns away with a smile. Gunn with a slight smile: "Yeah, that was tight. (Hands the ax to Connor) Now you get to clean it." Connor: "Vamps dust, nothing to clean." Gunn: "Two coats of polish." Gunn enters the office and watches Connor through a crack in the door, then turns to Fred, sitting at the desk. Gunn: "We gonna tell him?" Fred: "I don't wanna get his hopes up again." Gunn: "What about yours?" Fred: "We have to keep trying." Gunn: "I'm not saying that we shouldn't but we've spent the last three months chasing one dead end after another trying to find Angel and Cordy, and the only thing we're closing in on, is an eviction. Be a whole lot easier to handle this crap if Lorne was pitching in. Where is our future-reading, empath demon when we need him?" Fred: "Mr. Big-hit-in-Vegas is too busy danke-schon-ing the tourists to care about us." Gunn: "Did you try him again?" Fred: "Like sixty times. He's lost the mission, bro." Gunn: "Well, we're about to loose this whole place and you know you can't say bro. - Alright. You need to start hustling up some paying clients." Fred: "We will. As soon as I find Marissa. Can I say dawg?" Gunn just looks at her and Fred hurried turns back to her laptop. Fred: "Oh, this looks good. Condemned tenement on Figueroa. Could be her." Gunn: "Evil Dead was probably just messing with us, and even if she's there, not much chance she knows anything." Fred: "Angel's car was found down by the bluffs. That used to be her feeding ground. She might be able to tell us what happened - if we can find her." Connor: "Find who?" Night, Ocean waves break against the shore at the bottom of the bluff, sending up plumes of white spray. Angel turns away from the view - only to find Cordy, all in flowing white, waiting for him beside his car. Angel: "Cordelia. - I didn't think you were coming." Cordy: "You know me better than that. Better than anybody." Angel gives slight laugh and sticks his hands his pockets. Angel: "I don't know if that's true." Cordy: "Yes. You do." Cordy slowly walks over to the edge. Cordy: "It's so beautiful here." Angel, watching her: "Yes. Yes, it is. - Just the way it should be." He frowns as we get a quick flash of him and Connor tumbling down the bluff. Angel: "But it's not. This isn't how it happened." Another flash of him and Connor, fighting. Cordy: "I know. - I like this version better." Angel: "It was Connor. He was here. He..." Flash of Connor tazering Angel. Cordy puts a hand against the side of Angel's face. Cordy: "I can't remember what it was like - not knowing you, not being close to you. I'm in love with you Angel. Deep down I think I have been for a long time. I needed you to know that." Angel pulls Cordy into a kiss, then pulls back to look at her. Angel: "I need you, Cordy. I need you." He leans in to kiss the side of her neck, then vamps out and sinks his teeth in. Cordy gasps as Angel gulps down her blood. Angel pulls back: "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" Cordy lets out a scream as Angel returns to feeding - only to wake up wide-eyed and screaming in his watery grave. Connor: "So why didn't you tell me?" Fred: "We wanted to be sure." Gunn: "We don't even know if this Marissa girl saw anything." Connor: "But she could have." Fred: "Maybe. We're gonna go talk to her and find out." Connor, hefting Gunn's ax: "I'm coming with you." Gunn: "No. It's only one vamp. We can handle it." Connor: "He's my father! If she knows what happened to him I..." Fred after a beat: "Okay. Go get your weapon." Connor flashes her a quick smile before running from the room while Gunn turns to look at Fred. Gunn: "You think that's a good idea?" Fred: "I'll keep an eye on him." Gunn: "Getting information is a finesse job. He's a blunt instrument!" Fred: "You wanna tell him no? You saw how much he's hurting." Gunn: "Well, how's he gonna feel if all vampirella saw is sand and seaweed? This is it, Fred. No Angel, no Cordy. We can't find Holtz. His psycho girlfriend's gone. We got nothing." Fred: "There's still Wolfram and Hart." Gunn: "Right. We just stroll into their heavily guarded law offices and ask Lilah, the evil bitch queen, for help finding out what happened to their archenemy, but, we're kinda broke, so it'll have to be pro bono." Fred: "I didn't say it would be easy." Gunn: "How's impossible? They're too big. Without Angel we can't afford pissing them off." Fred: "Maybe we should think about asking..." Gunn: "No." Fred after a beat: "Well, I'm glad we talked it over." Gunn: "We already asked him for help twice." Fred: "Then we'll ask him again." Gunn: "Fred, Wesley doesn't give a damn about us." Fred: "Have we given him a reason to?" Gunn: "He's made his choice. Now he has to life with it." Gunn turns and leaves the office. A sweaty Lilah sinks down onto an equally sweaty Wes, both naked in his bed. Lilah with a smile: "Hmm. That didn't suck. - Well - maybe just a little bit." Wes: "Perhaps that is something we can expand on next time." Lilah: "What makes you think there will be a next time?" Wes: "Because you can't resist me." Lilah pulls Wes head back by his hair and licks the side of his face. Lilah: "I think you have that backwards." Lilah rolls off him and gets out of bed. Wes: "Where are you going?" Lilah: "Snack break's over. Time I get back to work." Wes: "And Wolfram and Hart does its best work after dark." Lilah, getting dressed: "Sun's bad for your complexion. Ask Angel. Oh, right. You can't, because of the whole 'wanting to smother you with a pillow' thing." Wes: "Wouldn't think kidnapping his son would have such a negative effect on our friendship." Lilah: "You thought you were doing the right thing. I hear that can be confusing. - Have you tried talking to him? Maybe when he gets back you can..." Wes laughs. Lilah: "What?" Wes: "I have no idea where Angel is, Lilah, or what happened to him. - And I really couldn't care." Lilah: "Wow. That was cold. (Goes to sit on the edge of the bed) I think we're finally making progress. Come on. Doesn't it bother you just a little bit? The not knowing?" Wes: "That part of my life is dead. - Doesn't concern me now." Lilah, looking at him: "No, it doesn't." Lilah leans down for a quick kiss goodbye, but Wes grabs a hold of her hair and pulls her back for a deeper kiss. After a moment Lilah pulls back and Wes watches her walk out of the room. As soon as she is gone he pulls on his pants then goes to unlock the safety bolt on his closet door. The door swings open to reveal a second one made of metal bars. Wes: "It's time." Wes looks through the bars at a shackled and gagged Justine. Wes: "Let's go for a boat ride." Break Wes steers a small ship across the dark ocean. Justine: "So, what's it gonna be tonight, captain? Bicycle, old tire, or maybe we'll get *real* lucky and catch us nice shopping cart. Here's a wacky thought: why don't you swim down there yourself?" Wes flips a switch and looks down at a readout. Wes: "No contact. We'll try the next grid." Wes walks over to the map laid out on the table and makes some markings. Justine: "You really think finding Angel is going to change anything?" Wes: "Everything changes." Justine: "Well, I guess anything is better than sitting around in my cage all day with nothing to do but to fill my bucket." Wes: "Perhaps you should have considered that before slitting my throat." Wes walks back to the steering wheel. Justine: "The great Wesley Wyndham-Price, the shining beacon of all that's good and pure. But wait, no! That's before he started banging the enemy and keeping slave-girl in his closet." Wes: "You were always a slave, Justine. You just couldn't see the chains." Justine: "Thanks, Swami, I'll meditate on that." Wes: "You think she would be disappointed?" Justine: "Who?" Wes: "Your sister. (Justine turns away) That's where it all began, isn't it? Sister murdered by a vampire, consumed by a need of revenge..." Justine, spinning to face him: "For justice!" Wes: "Is that what you call it? Turning a son against his father." Justine: "Angel got what he deserved." Wes: "We all get what we deserve. - You and Holtz deserved each other. You two have so much in common. Pain, loss, deep seated lack of anything approaching humor." Justine: "I don't know. We had a few laughs. Getting you to steal Angel's baby, now that was a good one." Wes: "Better than tricking Connor into sinking his father to the bottom of the ocean?" Justine: "Well, that was worth a couple of yuks, too." Wes: "Not much of a plan though, was it, really? Easy to figure out which door to kick in when Angel went missing. And not much harder to persuade you to betray everything Holtz had given his life for. Not that it was worth very much. Well, you should know. You're the one that ended it." Justine picks up the wrench that was holding down the maps and hauls back to hit the back of Wes' head. Wes, without turning to look: "I'll take away your bucket." Justine tosses the wrench back on the table. Connor bursts in, sword in hand, through the door of Marissa's lair. Gunn and Fred follow him in. Gunn: "Or we can do it the loud way." They look around the cluttered but empty room. Fred: "Doesn't matter. Looks like she's out." Gunn: "Man, this is just nasty. I don't know how people live like this." Fred: "Helps to be dead." Gunn: "Yeah, one more reason to stay pink and rosy." Fred: "Word. - So, what do you think? From the smell I'm guessing she still lives here. Should we wait for her to come back, or..." Connor: "No." Connor flips back a blanket and picks up some headphones from which we can hear music playing. Connor: "We won't have to." At that moment Marissa drops down from the ceiling, knocking Fred and Gunn to the floor, and runs to attack Connor. They exchange some blows then Connor pushes Marissa up against a pillar and lays his sword across her throat. Fred: "Marissa, stop! We just wanna talk." Marissa: "I don't know anything." Gunn: "You psychic?" Marissa: "No." Gunn: "Then shut up and let us ask the question first." Fred: "You know the bluffs down by the beach?" Marissa: "No." Gunn: "You used to feed there." Marissa: "Oh. Those bluffs." Gunn: "Three months ago a friend of ours went missing down there." Marissa: "Tall, good looking, weird hair?" Fred: "You saw him?" Marissa: "I see a lot of things. What do you care." Connor: "He's my father. If you know what..." Connor pulls the sword back from Marissa's throat and she punches him in the gut, then runs past him and launches herself through the closed window across the room. Connor jumps up. Gunn: "You never let your guard down! How many times do..." Connor launches himself after Marissa out the window. Fred: "Connor!" They run to the window, but there is no sign of either of them in the alley below. Gunn: "If he ain't dead I'm gonna kill him." Marissa runs down a dark alley, takes a quick look around, then scales the side of one of the buildings - only to find Connor on the roof, waiting for her. Connor: "What did you see?" Marissa: "Look, whatever I saw, whatever didn't see, it doesn't matter, okay? (Morphs into her human face and smiles at him) Come on, handsome. It'll be our little secret." Connor pulls out a stake and dusts her. Gunn: "Connor!" Connor quickly rips his shirtsleeve then scores his arm using the stake. Fred and Gunn burst out of the stairwell onto the roof, stakes in hand. Gunn: "Connor!" Fred: "Are you alright?" Gunn: "Where is she?" Connor: "She attacked me. I had no choice." Gunn: "Maybe you would have if you weren't always running off, playing hero! Do you know what you just did?!" Connor tosses the stake down and runs to the edge of the building. Fred: "Connor!" Connor drops of the edge. Gunn: "Three months of this and he dusts our only lead!" Fred: "You know how much he wants to find Angel. How do you think he feels?" Gunn: "How am I supposed to know? It's not like he talks to me." Fred: "After everything he's gone through, you need to be a little more patient, Charles. He's just a boy." Gunn: "Are you sure about that? Offspring of two vampires. Last time I checked that's not supposed to happen. And - jumping off a six-story without busting your coconut kind of sways me to the side of not just a boy. I mean, come on, Fred. His nickname back in Quortoth was the destroyer. And unless you put Conan in front of that, I'm guessing it's not a good sign." Fred quietly: "He's Angel's son. That's all that matters." Fred walks towards the stairs and after a beat Gunn lets out a sigh and follows her. Connor is crouched on the edge of a roof, overlooking the city. Angel: "Beautiful, isn't it?" Connor: "The way it should be." Connor turns to face Angel. Angel: "What, no hug?" Connor: "Just get it over with." Angel: "What's the rush? I'm not going anywhere." Connor: "No, you're not." Angel turns to see some vamps come towards him and starts to laugh. Connor laughs with him. Vamp: "What are you laughing at?" Angel: "I'll tell you later." The vamps attack and Angel swings into action, as does Connor. Their eyes meet during a short lull before they turn back to the business of fighting the vamps. On of them comes up on Angel's blind side with a stake and Connor calls out a warning. Angel bats the stake aside and they quickly finish off the vamps, Connor tossing the last one over the side of the building. Angel, smiling walks up to Connor and puts his hands on his son's shoulders. Angel: "Thanks." Angel grabs a hold of Connor's head and snaps his neck with a quick twist - only to wake up screaming and straining against his bonds back in his coffin. Lorne, wearing a furry blue coat is getting his face powder in a Vegas dressing room. Lorne: "Now, go easy on me. Remember they're paying to see the green." A beefy looking guy comes walking in and hands Lorne a cell phone. Guy: "Two minutes." Lorne: "Oh, thanks, sweetie. (To phone) A bon soir." Fred: "Lorne? Lorne! (She signals to Gunn to join her) Hey, it's Fred. I've been trying to get a hold of you." Lorne: "Oh, I'm sorry, hon, I've been booked out the wha and past the zoo. If I get any hotter they'll have to stamp me out." Fred: "Lorne, I know you're busy, but we really need your help. We had a lead but it, ah - kind of died. Did you talk to your connections? Have they heard anything about Angel or Cordy?" Lorne: "No, not a peep. But if I miracle ear anything I'll send up a smoke signal. (beefy guy points at his watch) Ah, that's my cue. Take care of yourself and ah, and make sure fluffy is getting enough love." Fred: "Lorne!" Fred hangs up the phone with a sigh. Gunn: "Did he have anything?" Fred: "No. And who's fluffy? Are you fluffy?" Gunn: "He called me fluffy?" Fred: "He said make sure... Wait. You don't - think he was referring to anything of mine that's fluffy, do you? Because that would just be inappropriate." Gunn: "Like deserting us? No leads, no clients, pretty soon no roof over my smooth delicate head." Fred: "I could make you a paper hat. (Laughs, then lets out a sigh) It's gonna be okay. Angel and Cordy are out there somewhere and no matter what the Powers-That-Screw-You throw at us, we're gonna find them." Wolfram and Hart office building, night. Lilah: "You found Angel?" Linwood: "Young Gavin's had a breakthrough with the psychics." Lilah: "Brain boys finally earning their keep. So, where is he?" Gavin: "Well, I haven't pinpointed his exact location yet, but I have ascertained that he's safe and immobilized." Lilah: "Really. Maybe you can lead them in a rousing chant and get them to muster up a little more vague." Linwood: "He's contained and out of play. Which suit our purposes just fine." Lilah: "If our purpose is to get caught with our prophecies down. Angel is supposed to be a major player in the apocalypse. The little pet project the Senior partners have been working on since, oh, the beginning of time? Three months and all you've been able to ferret out is - nothing!" Linwood: "Lilah, Gavin's work with the psychics has uncovered some invaluable intel in a variety of unexpected areas. - Care to enlighten us?" Lilah: "What I do on my personal time is none of Gavin's business." Linwood: "But everything is my business." Lilah: "I'm not sleeping with him for information." Linwood: "Please don't tell me it's the chiseled jaw. If you have his confidence we can play it to our advantage." Lilah: "He doesn't know anything. There's nothing to take advantage of." Linwood: "Except you. Staff meeting in an hour. Don't be late. Gavin." Lilah watches and Linwood and Gavin enter the elevator. The radar on Wes' boat beeps. Wes: "Solid contact. Definitely metallic." Justine: "Probably more junk. Could be anything down there." Wes: "Better have a look then." Wes tosses a diving mask at Justine, who catches it. The beam of Justine's flashlight plays across the lid of Angel's coffin, illuminating his pale and cracked face, and making him blink. Wes and Justine watch as the ship's hoist slowly hauls the coffin aboard. Wes lights a blowtorch and burns through the welds securing the sidebars. Wes: "Justine. Come on." Wes slides the bars out and he and Justine lift the lid off the coffin. Wes cuts the steel cords holding Angel immobile. Justine: "Congratulations. You're the *big* hero. Maybe your friends will throw you a party. I wonder what the cake's gonna look..." Suddenly Angel's hand shoots up and grabs Wesley by the throat. Angel's eyes snap open. His brow draws together in a slight frown as his eyes focus on Wes. Break [SCENE_BREAK] Wes takes a hold of Angel's hand, and Angel lets him pull it away and lay it back down on his chest. Wes lays Angel down on the table in the main cabin and pulls out some glass jars filled with dark liquid. Justine: "Blood?" Wes: "Animal." Wes lifts Angel's head and tries to get him to drink some of the blood. Justine: "What's the hurry? It's not like he's going anywhere." Wes: "A vampire can exist indefinitely without feeding, but the damage to the higher brain functions from prolonged starvation can be catastrophic." Angel starts to cough. Wes: "Slowly." Justine: "All the energy you've wasted to save that thing. For what? A happy ending? Everything like it was? He *hates* you. They all do. And they're never going to take you back." Connor walks into the lobby of the Hyperion to find Gunn and Fred sitting on the settee waiting for him. Connor: "Is this going to be the yelling thing again?" Gun and Fred stand up. Fred: "No. No yelling." Connor: "He looks like he's gonna yell." Gunn: "I do not." Connor: "He always looks like he's gonna yell." Gunn: "I'm not gonna yell!" Fred: "Where have you been?" Connor, walking past them: "Out." Gunn: "We were worried." Connor stops and turns back to them. Connor: "I'm sorry. I shouldn't run off alone. You'd think I'd know that by now." Gunn: "It's that big, thick mellon!" Gunn taps the side of Connor's head, smiling. Gunn: "Your dad's got one just like it." Connor's smile melts away. Gunn: "Angel's always flying off, getting himself into trouble." Connor: "I'm not like him." Gunn: "You're not as strong yet, but..." Connor: "Like I care what you think?" Gunn: "What did you say?" Fred steps between them: "It's been a long night. Why don't you go wash up." Connor looks from Gunn to Fred. Connor, quietly: "I'm fine." Fred and Gunn watch Connor take the stairs two at a time. Gunn: "I try to be nice and you see what he does? He just keeps pushing. It's like - it's like he wants me to lose it." Fred: "He's testing you. With Angel gone, you're the alpha male." Gunn: "Damn straight." Fred leaning against Gunn's chest: "Don't let it go to your head." Gunn, pulling her closer: "That's not the direction it's flowing." They kiss. The phone rings and Fred pulls back. Gunn: "Let it ring." Fred, leaning in for another kiss: "What if it's a client?" Gunn pulls away with a sigh: "Then the big dog better close the deal." Gunn picks up the phone: "Angel Investigations." Angel is lying on the table in the ship's cabin a rolled up blanket under his head another covering his body. Angel: "Why is it like this?" Lorne: "Well, that's the age-old, bubby. I'll fire you off a postcard if I'll noodle the answer." Angel: "Life should be beautiful and bright. But, no matter how hard I try, everything I touch - turns to ashes." Lorne: "Well, there goes that encouraging hug I was planning. Snap to, buckaroo. The only one turning to ashes is that patricidal pup of yours. Hell, I'd take him out myself if I wasn't just a crappy hallucination." Wes comes down the stairs: "How is he?" Lorne: "How do you think?" Justine: "He won't shut up." Angel: "I have to stop him." Lorne: "You wanna bitch-slap sour-puss over there for practice? I'm your cheering section." Wes walks up to the table. Wes: "Angel?" Angel: "I have to do it." Angel tires to get up and Wes puts a hand on his shoulder to stop him. Wes: "Shh. You need to rest now." Lorne, singing: "Hush, little baby, don't say a word. Mamma's gonna buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird don't sing..." Angel looks up and sees Connor standing over him. Angel: "I should have killed you." Wes looks down at Angel as Justine breaks out laughing. Justine: "And me without my camera." Wes: "He's been down there too long. Pig's blood isn't enough. He needs more substantial nourishment." Justine: "Like what?" Justine, handcuffed to the wall, stares wide-eyed at the knife Wes pulls out. Justine: "Oh, screw you. I'm not feeding that thing." Wes: "Your blood's too thin." Wes slices across the inner side of his left forearm then moves to the table and holds the cut down over Angel's lips. Angel's hands come up and he holds Wes' arm in place as he drinks, but he doesn't morph into his vamp face. Lilah is alone in the meeting room. She stands behind Linwood's chair and caresses the headrest. The doors open and Lilah moves down to a place about halfway down the table as people move to take their seats. Linwood: "Alright, we've got a lot of ground to cover, so let's get right to it. Let's talk about Lilah. Everybody had a chance to review her file? (Nods around the table) Good. Recommendations?" Lilah raises a hand: "If I could just have a few minutes to explain..." Gavin: "I think your record speaks for itself." Linwood: "Volumes. Your failures at Wolfram and Hart outstrip your successes by and uncomfortable margin. Perhaps you would fair better at a less central office." Gavin: "One of the third world dimensions maybe." Lilah whispers: "I'm sorry." Linwood: "What was that?" Lilah: "I said, I'm sorry. I've made mistakes, but *fear* was never one of them." Linwood: "Is there something you would like to share?" Lilah: "Why haven't we contained the vampire offspring for study?" Linwood: "We're assessing that situation." Lilah: "The same way you're assessing Angel? Then why aren't we trying to pinpoint Angel's location?" Linwood: "Lilah, this is *my* corner of the sky. *I* decide when the sun rises and when it sets. Lack of long-term vision has always been one of your shortcomings." Lilah stands up, holding a Palm-pilot and stylus. Lilah: "And lack of courage has always been one of yours. You're afraid - of Angel and his son. And that's the reason for your daring strategy of 'wait and see', isn't it? You're afraid. And fear breeds weakness." Linwood: "Oh. I'm hurt. Is that *really* what you think of me?" Lilah: "Yes. And Mr. Suvarta agrees with me." Linwood: "You spoke to a Senior Partner?" Lilah: "He was really very helpful. He had some great hints on office furniture." Linwood: "This is outrageous! Are you actually telling me that you went over my head?" Lilah touches her stylus to the palm-pilot in her hand. We hear an electronic beep - then a blade whips out of the backrest on Linwood's chair slicing quickly and neatly through his neck. Lilah: "Just under it, actually." Linwood's head, staring eyes fixed, slowly tumbles forward and rolls down the table. Lilah: "Mr. Suvarta didn't think Linwood's sky was sunny enough. You're all reporting to me now. (Sits down) Get out." Everyone quickly and quietly gets up and files out the room. Lilah: "Gavin." Gavin freezes. Lilah gives him a slight smile, then indicates the decapitated head with her stylus. Lilah: "Please - remove that." Connor is stretched out on the bed in his room playing a handheld video game. There is a knock on the door. Connor: "What?" Fred is standing in the open doorway, holding a tray with a sandwich and glass of milk. Fred: "Brought you a snack." Connor: "I'm not hungry." Fred laughs: "You're always hungry." Fred walks into the room and Connor lowers his game. Connor: "What is it?" Fred: "Bologna." Connor: "No tomatoes?" Fred: "No tomatoes." Connor sits up and reaches for the tray, but Fred pulls it back. Fred: "What do you say?" Connor looking at her: "Thank you." Fred: "Your welcome." Connor tears into the sandwich. Fred sets the tray down on the nightstand then strokes Connor's hair. Connor: "Is he still mad?" Fred: "What so you think?" Connor, softly: "Sorry." Fred: "I can't imagine what you've been through, Connor, being taken away by Holtz, raised in that place. It must have been horrible. I know you're still hurting but - I promise, it's not nearly as much as you're gonna hurt for what you did to your father." Connor stops chewing and looks up at Fred, who pushes a tazer against his chest and fires. Connor arcs back in pain. Break Connor sits in the office, tied to a chair with Fred standing over him, tazer in hand. Fred: "You think that's what Angel felt? When you did it to him? Did he scream like you?" Connor: "Why are you doing this?" Gunn: "Nah-ah. Don't even try it." Fred: "We got a call form an old friend tonight." Gunn: "Been playing a little Ahab. He's out there right now puttering around on his boat." Fred: "With Angel." Connor stays quiet. Gunn: "That's right, Sparky, Daddy's coming home. And I'm guessing there's going to be a spanking." Fred: "He's been down there, all alone, for three months - and you knew!" Gunn: "Is that what you did to Cordy? Stuff her in a box some place?" Fred: "How could you do that to us? (Fred steps closer to Connor the tazer in her outstretched hand shaking a little) We took you into our home. We cared for you, and all this time... How could you do that?!" When Connor only looks at her, Fred suddenly buries the tazer against Connor's chest. Connor arcs back, screaming. Fred: "How could you do that?!" Gunn pulls her back: "Fred!" Fred buries her head against Gunn's shoulder and starts to cry. Wes deposits Angel in the passenger seat of his car then looks down at Angel's pale and cracked face. Angel's eyes drift open and their eyes meet. Justine: "He'll turn on you!" Wes closes the passenger door and walks around to get into the driver's seat. Justine: "He won't be able to help it. That's what he is. Sooner or later he will turn on you - and all your friends!" Ignoring Justine, who is handcuffed to a net-draped railing, Wes gets into the car, buckles up and starts the engine. Justine: "You're just gonna leave me here?" Wes holds up the keys to the cuffs, looking at her, then tosses them at her feet. Wes: "You can continue to be a slave, Justine - or you can live your life. Your choice." Wes drives off, leaving Justine behind. Fred is sitting in a chair in the outer office with Gunn rubbing her back. Fred: "I would have done anything for him. Now all I wanna do is hurt him." Connor, through the open door of the inner office: "Go ahead. Hurt me some more, Fred." Fred: "Shut up!" Connor: "You think I care? You get used to it." Fred gets up: "You don't feel anything, do you? There's nothing inside." Connor: "Why don't you open me up and find out." Fred: "How could you do that to your father?" Connor: "That thing is not my father." Gunn quietly: "Yes, he is." Connor: "He got what he deserved." Fred quietly: "And how soon before we deserved it?" Connor just looks at her. We hear the lobby doors open and Fred and Gunn run out to see Wes, one of Angel's arms draped over his shoulder helping Angel down the steps into the lobby. Wes: "I believe you're looking for this." Angel raises his head and looks at them. Fred: "Angel." Gunn and Fred hurry towards them and Gunn helps Wes lead Angel to the settee. Fred: "Oh, my god." Gunn: "Is he gonna be all right?" Wes: "In time - maybe." Angel drops onto the settee with a groan, his head rolling to the side against the headrest. Gunn: "He's out of it." Fred: "Oh god." Gunn: "It's okay." Fred: "Look at him." Gunn: "It's gonna be okay." Angel slowly looks up at them. Wes begins to back away from them towards the doors. Fred: "What do we do? Wesley..." As Angel's eyes slide shut again, Fred turns, only to see that Wes is already on the landing. Fred: "Where are you going?" Wes stops and turns back. Wes: "I'm done here." Gunn: "What took you so long to tell us about Connor?" Fred: "You knew what he could do to us." Wes: "You're human. He wouldn't have hurt you. I thought you were safer not knowing." Fred: "We were safer? You really don't care anymore, do you?" Wes only turns to walk towards the door. Wes: "He'll need more blood. I'm fresh out." The door closes behind Wes. Angel lets out a sight groan. Fred: "It's okay. God, he's freezing." Gunn: "I'll get some more blankets." Gunn turns to go, but stops as we hear the sound of a chair toppling coming from the office. Fred: "Connor!" Gunn and Fred run for the office. Connor is waiting for them and easily tosses Gunn to the side. Fred tries to tazer him, but he grabs it away from her and uses it against her instead. Fred drops to the floor in a heap. Connor turns - only to find Angel standing in the doorway. Angel: "Sit - down." Connor backs up a little never taking his eyes off Angel. Connor: "You're too weak to take me." Angel: "You really think that?" Connor looks at Angel for another moment, then turns, picks up the chair, slams it down on the floor, and sits facing Angel. Gunn begins to stir and sit up. Angel lowers himself into a chair across from Connor with a slight sigh. Angel: "So - how was your summer? Mine was fun. Saw some fish. Went mad with hunger. Hallucinated a whole bunch." Gunn quietly helps Fred back to her feet. Connor's eyes never leave Angel. Connor: "You deserved worse." Angel: "Because I killed Holtz - except I didn't. I tried telling you that while you were busy offshore dumping me, but I didn't know the whole score. - Holtz killed himself. Actually - he had your buddy Justine do it with an ice pick. Just to make you hate me." Connor after a beat: "Even if - you still deserved it." Angel: "What I deserve is open to debate. - But understand there is a difference between wishing vengeance on someone - and taking it. - So now - the questions becomes: - what do you deserve?" Connor suddenly umps up from his chair and runs for the door, but Angel intercepts him, tossing him against the wall. Angel, calm: "Daddy's not finished talking." Angel crouches down next to where Connor sits, scrunched up against the wall. Angel: "Wesley told me everything that's been going on. So, as far as I'm concerned what you *deserve* rests on one answer: (Angel leans in closer) Did you do something to Cordelia?" Connor: "No." Fred: "He's lying." Connor, looking at Angel: "No, I'm not." Gunn: "No way she just *happened* to disappear the same night." Connor, never taking his eyes off Angel: "I'm telling the truth, okay?" Angel, quietly: "I know. - I can tell." Angel slowly straightens up and backs away a little. Angel: "You've done enough lying for me to know the difference. The truth has a better sound to it, less nasal, you know? - Get up." Connor stands up. Angel: "What you did to me - was unbelievable, Connor. - But then I got stuck in a hell dimension by my girlfriend one time for a hundred years, so three months under the ocean actually gave me perspective. Kind of a M. C. Esher perspective - but I did get time to think. About us, about the world. - Nothing in the world is the way it ought to be. - It's harsh, and cruel. - But that's why there's us. Champions. It doesn't matter where we come from, what we've done or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world was what it should be, to show it what it can be. - You're not a part of that yet. - I hope you will be. (Angel moves to stand in front of Connor) I love you, Connor. (Quietly, after a beat) Now get out of my house." After a beat Connor leaves and Angel lets out a slight sigh. We hear the lobby doors close. Angel sways on his feet then leans against the wall. Fed and Gunn run over to him. Fred: "Angel!" Angel: "All that talking really takes it out of you." Fred: "You need rest." Angel: "I need Cordy - now. Wherever she is, whatever she's going through, we have to find her." The picture blends into a panorama of glowing, heavenly clouds. We close in on a bright, white light. Cordy's face becomes visible in the center of it as heavenly music swells. Cordy: "God, I am so bored."

Season four begins with Angel stuck at the bottom of the sea. Fred and Gunn search for him, unaware that Connor is the one behind his disappearance. Cordy is now a Higher Power and no one is sure where she went either. It's Wes who begins to piece together what happened to his estranged friends and comes up with a plan to save Angel.

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DRAGONFLY INN - EXTERIOR [The Jeeps pulls up with Lorelai driving] LORELAI: I'm telling you, it's her. RORY: Trust me, it's not. LORELAI: It is. RORY: Why would Christiane Amanpour be hanging out at the Dragonfly? LORELAI: I don't know. RORY: She wouldn't. LORELAI: She is. RORY: You went up to her and said hi, and she said, "Hi, I'm Christiane Amanpour, nice to meet you"? [The Jeep stops and the girls get out] LORELAI: No, I didn't go up to her at all. I looked at here and saw that it was her, and I went to get you. RORY: So I could look at a fake Christiane Amanpour? LORELAI: She's real. RORY: Yeah. Remember the time when you thought saw Sandra Day O'Connor? LORELAI: Yeah well this is different and I haven't had any cough syrup. RORY: I guarantee you it's not her. [They enter the Inn] LORELAI: You doubt my ability to recognize a glamorous, international war correspondent? RORY: I guarantee you it's not her. Oh, my god, that's Christiane Amanpour! LORELAI: That's what I told you. RORY: I can't meet Christiane Amanpour in my pajamas. LORELAI: I tried to get you to change, you wouldn't change. RORY: Well how long has she been here? LORELAI: I don't know I just saw her eating breakfast and I went home and got you. Hey, Michel, Michel, how long has Christiane Amanpour been here? MICHEL: Ah she checked in late last night, room 7. LORELAI: She's staying here? RORY: [gasps] LORELAI: You didn't tell me? MICHEL: I wanted to avoid yet another embarrassing incident. LORELAI: What are you talking about? MICHEL: You always embarrass yourself when celebrities stay at the inn. LORELAI: I do not. MICHEL: Jane Pauley, Harry Belafonte, Marisa Tomei. RORY: He's right, you know? LORELAI: No, no, Marisa Tomei's mother's best friend is my hairdresser's cousin's roommate. That's just freaky. MICHEL: I'm just saying you make them uncomfortable. LORELAI: I run an inn. These are my guests. What am I supposed to do -- ignore them? MICHEL: I think that might be best. LORELAI: I'm gonna go over and say hi and see if she'll meet you. RORY: What? Okay. Wait. Don't be funny. [Rory goes to "hide" at reception while Lorelai goes to Christiane Amanpour] LORELAI: Excuse me, Ms. Amanpour? Christiane Amanpour: Yes. LORELAI: Hello, I'm Lorelai Gilmore. I run the inn. Christiane Amanpour: Very nice to meet you. It's a lovely inn. LORELAI: Thank you so much. Um I'm sorry to bother you, but my daughter is a huge fan of yours, she always has been. Christiane Amanpour: That's very nice to hear. Thank you. LORELAI: Yeah she just graduated from Yale, actually, where she was the editor of the Yale Daily News. Christiane Amanpour: That's great. LORELAI: Anyway, Um she'd love to meet you, if that's okay. Christiane Amanpour: I'd love to. Is she here? LORELAI: Yes, she is. Rory, come here. [Rory goes out of hiding] LORELAI: Come on. Okay, here she is. This is Rory Gilmore. Rory, meet Christiane Amanpour. Christiane Amanpour: Hi, Rory. How are you? Nice to meet you. RORY: Nice to meet you, too. I'm sorry to meet you in my pajamas. I don't usually walk around town like this. Christiane Amanpour: That's okay. RORY: I just think you are so inspiring. Your reporting is so bold and moving and fascinating and I know you've won nine Emmys, but I just don't think that's enough -- not that you care about that kind of thing, but I just want to say thank you. Christiane Amanpour: Thank you. That's really nice of you. And your mother says that you've graduated Yale, editor of the Yale Daily News -- that's not bad. RORY: Oh, thank you. I want to pursue a career in journalism. Christiane Amanpour: That's good, is it print you want? Television? CNN, maybe? RORY: Oh, I'd love to work for a major daily. Christiane Amanpour: Do you know which one? RORY: Any one that will take me. Christiane Amanpour: That's the spirit. I mean you just get in there, do what you can, show them what you've got, and the rest will take care of itself. RORY: That's my plan. Christiane Amanpour: Listen, I don't often do this, but I'm going to give you my card, and if you want to send me some stuff, I'll have a look at it and you know stay in touch. RORY: Seriously? Christiane Amanpour: Yes, yeah. RORY: Thank you. [Car horn honks] Christiane Amanpour: That's my cab out there, so I'm gonna go now. It was really nice to meet you. [Shaking Lorelai's hand.] LORELAI: Nice to meet you. Christiane Amanpour: Nice to meet you. [Shaking Rory's hand.] RORY: Nice to meet you. Christiane Amanpour: Good luck. Take care. RORY: Thank you. LORELAI: Thank you so much. LORELAI: [Gasps] RORY: I can't believe I just met Christiane Amanpour in my pajamas. LORELAI: Well, I'm sure you made an impression. OPENING CREDITS LORELAI'S HOUSE - RORY'S ROOM [Lorelai is on the bed with a Laptop] LORELAI: All right after "Great Adventure" the next Roller coaster would be here at Lake Compounds, home of the "Boulder Dash". RORY: Love it. LORELAI: "The number one choice of wooden roller coasters" according to Mr Arthur Levin of about.com. RORY: Oh yes the venerable Mr Levin, a legend in coast criticism. LORELAI: So you've heard of him. RORY: Well of course what coast connoisseur hasn't? LORELAI: "Great airtime" he says "smooth ride, relentless speed from start to finish" you can admit it if you're scared. RORY: What I'm not scared, are you scared? LORELAI: No I'm not scared, I'm not the one who screams. RORY: That happened once. LORELAI: Really busted my eardrums. RORY: You want to keep talking smack or you want to tell me what comes after the Boulder Dash? LORELAI: How about the "Cyclone" in Coney Island. And then we can head west to the "Millennium Force" Ohio, this calls it a "Giga Roller coaster" RORY: You know what I say, no hands, eyes open that's right you heard me. LORELAI: I'll believe it when I see it. RORY: Well believe it. Okay I am done, 74 r sum 's, addressed and sealed. LORELAI: Not at all excessive. RORY: Well I just wanted to make sure I didn't leave a stone unturned. LORELAI: Yes rocks, pebbles, boulders they've all been turned. RORY: Well I got it all done before our big trip, can you believe it. OH man I have a lot of books. LORELAI: Hey there is a cool "State-Fare" coaster in Springfield, 50-mile detour, worth it. RORY: Hum. Aw [pulls something out of a box]. LORELAI: Aw. RORY: The rocket. LORELAI: The rocket... Have you talked to him. RORY: No. It comes in waves, you know, big ones, really close together. LORELAI: Well the waves will get smaller, I promise. Just have to give it time you know. Have to feel sad and get through it. RORY: Believe me I'm letting myself feel plenty sad. LORELAI: Oh that's good, I mean it's not good you know, under the circumstances, it's good. RORY: I just can't imagine it feeling better. LORELAI: But it will someday I promise. RORY: Yeah, do you feel better about Luke? LORELAI: [Not sounding convincing] Ah, yeah I feel better because I think we're done. RORY: What, maybe you guys just need more time. LORELAI: More time, I've given him all the time in the world. Every time I'm venerable or I say something or do something like the song he doesn't do anything. RORY: Well he's always been a little slow to respond. LORELAI: Yeah I don't want to make any more excuses you know. RORY: I just don't think he's over you. LORELAI: Well it doesn't matter, I'm over him. I need someone who can feel you know, show me how he feels. He can't do that. RORY: I guess that make sense. LORELAI: Anyway we're batter as friends you know, don't you think. Like "Hey Luke can I get some coffee", you know friends like that. Like "Hey Luke can you make all the burgers for Rory's re-enactment graduation party?" you know. RORY: What re-enactment graduation party? LORELAI: It's just a graduation re-enactment party we're gonna have for all the people who couldn't go to your actual graduation. RORY: Re-enactment, how? LORELAI: All you have to do is throw on that cap and gown again, you know and go up on a little podium again, that someone is gonna build and listen to the high school band play "Pomp and Circumstance". RORY: Mom! LORELAI: What it's a party, it's gonna be fun! RORY: Ah, you own me. LORELAI: Okay I'll get you lots of cotton candy and I won't make fun of you when you scream. RORY: I'm not gonna scream. LORELAI: Once a screamer, always a screamer. RORY: I was seven. LORELAI: Like that counts. LUKE'S DINER LUKE: All right, give me 300 hot dogs, 250 burgers. CHARLIE: How about brats? LUKE: No brats. And enough buns, obviously, to go with all that. CHARLIE: Buns got it, you know brats go over very big at outdoor parties. LUKE: Yeah well I know the woman throwing the party, and she and her daughter are dogs-and-burgers people. Al right the party's Saturday, so I want delivery on Friday okay. CHARLIE: No sweat. I'll give you half off brats. LUKE: Somebody cancel a big order, Charlie? CHARLIE: I tried to tell her, "Lady, nobody eats Bratwurst at a wedding." LUKE: [chuckling] Right. I'll see you, man. Thanks. [Opens the door for Liz] CHARLIE: Hey Liz LIZ: Oh, hey, chuck, how you doing? CHARLIE: I'm good. LIZ: There's your uncle Lukie! Say, "hi, uncle Lukie!" LUKE: HI Doula, LIZ: When she just stares like that, that's her way of saying hi. LUKE: Works for me. How you doing, Liz? [Hug and smooch over the counter.] LIZ: Oh pretty good. How about you? LUKE: Oh, god, I'm crazed. You want something to eat? LIZ: No, we just stopped by 'cause Doula misses her uncle Lukie. She really misses him. LUKE: Yeah look I cannot baby-sit today. LIZ: [begging] Please! I just need a little break. LUKE: Come on I'm really swamped today al right. Besides, I'm really trying to lay in the stuff for Rory's party next week. LIZ: Please I really want to get something special for that party, and every item of clothing that I own is covered in spit-up. LUKE: Sorry. LIZ: Okay, if you can't do it, you can't do it. So arr, did you give it to her? LUKE: What? LIZ: The necklace -- did you give it to Lorelai yet? LUKE: That was just a backup gift for Rory. LIZ: Oh come on that was no backup gift. And what about the song? LUKE: D..d.. f.. forget about the song. The song meant nothing. We're friends. That's it. LIZ: Oh and you're good with being just friends. LUKE: Yeah. LIZ: I don't buy it. LUKE: Well then maybe you should give her the necklace then. I'm really busy here. LIZ: Fine, fine. Hey could you mix a sweet potato and a banana in a blender? It's Doula's favorite. LUKE: Sure. [Goes to make it] And don't slip out while I make it. GILMORE MANSION - DINNING ROOM [Emily, Lorelai and Richard are eating] EMILY: I don't see why Rory had to take this meeting during our Friday night dinners. RICHARD: Emily. EMILY: Well it's not even an interview. If it was an interview, I would understand, but it's a drink. LORELAI: It's a contact, mom. She's trying to remind him who she is. RICHARD: As if anyone could forget. LORELAI: I know. You know Rory wants to make sure she's got her bases covered before we go out of town so that she can relax and have fun. EMILY: But I don't think this drink should eat into our time. LORELAI: Well maybe we'll stay later. EMILY: For after-dinner drinks? LORELAI: [Sounding hazer dent] Maybe. EMILY: So, how long will you two be gone? LORELAI: Oh, a couple weeks, a month. EMILY: You're riding roller coasters for a month? LORELAI: As long as our stomachs can take it. EMILY: This is what Yale graduates do? LORELAI: Mother she's tired. She needs a break. Plus, this might be my last shot. EMILY: You last shot, what are you talking about? LORELAI: Well, she's gonna get a job, and who knows where? You know, she's gonna move on. This might be the last time I can really spend time with her like this. EMILY: Honestly, Lorelai, must you be so maudlin? LORELAI: I'm not being maudlin. I'm being realistic. RICHARD: So, how are things at the inn? LORELAI: Oh, good. Busy, but good. EMILY: I have an idea for you. LORELAI: Oh, no. EMILY: Hmm? LORELAI: Oh, no, don't stop there. Go on. EMILY: I think you should add a spa to your inn. LORELAI: A spa? EMILY: Yes, spas are exploding. LORELAI: Sounds dangerous. EMILY: All of our friends are trading island vacations for spa holidays. LORELAI: I don't know, mom. EMILY: When I was the Ballantyne Resort, it got me thinking. This is really something I think you should do. Small country inns are old news, Lorelai. Destination spas are what everyone's talking about. RICHARD: [Nods in agreement] LORELAI: Mom, I told you business is good. I don't need to rub people with rocks or wrap them in seaweed. RICHARD: Well, the travel market is fickle. It wouldn't hurt to stay ahead of the curve. LORELAI: I don't have the money for expansion. [Doorbell rings] Ooh here she is, EMILY: Will you at least think about it before you say no? LORELAI: Yes, I will think about it. RORY: Hi, sorry I'm late. RICHARD: Rory. LORELAI: How were the drinks? RORY: Good, I got a job. LORELAI: [Gasps] EMILY: What tonight? RICHARD: Tonight? RORY: I leave in three days. I can't leave in three days. RICHARD: Whe...Wha...Leave where? LORELAI: What's the job, honey? RORY: Well, I was having drinks with Hugo Gray, right? RICHARD: Who's this Hugo Gray? LORELAI: He runs an online magazine. Rory's been writing for him. RORY: So we were just talking about different opportunities that might come up and where I've already applied, and he mentioned that the reporter that was covering the Barack Obama campaign for him dropped out because his fianc e got a job in Dubai, so they're moving. LORELAI: Wow! RORY: So Hugo asked me if that was something I'd be interested in and I said "yes I would be interested" and he told me more about it and apparently I would be on the campaign trail with the other reporters -- the planes, the buses, the whole deal. And I mean it's only an online magazine, so I wouldn't be staying where the Wall Street Journal people stay at night but... LORELAI: Who cares? RORY: But I would be traveling with them. I'd be filing stories from the road right up until the convention. RICHARD: So have you talked salary yet? RORY: Yeah, it's next to nothing, but all my meals and travel and hotels would be covered, so I wouldn't have that many expenses. RICHARD: Well that's fine. You're just starting out. Plus, it sounds like you'll be making excellent contacts. RORY: I would be. EMILY: It could be quite grueling, Rory -- all that constant travel, the seedy motels. LORELAI: She can handle it. RORY: I hope so. I said yes. LORELAI: That's great. RORY: It is, right? LORELAI: Ah you're gonna be working on a presidential campaign. RORY: I know but that also mean in three days I'd be leaving for who knows how long. It could be two months, it could be two years if Barack does well. And what does that mean -- I'm only gonna come home on holidays? That's crazy. And I need some transition time, and the roller coasters -- how am I gonna go on all the roller coasters if I have to leave and have to be in Iowa on Monday at the town hall meeting at the Quality Inn and Suites Ballroom in Sioux City? LORELAI: You're gonna be fine. RORY: [Sighs] What about the roller coasters? LORELAI: We'll do it another time. This is what you've been working for. RORY: Yeah. I guess it is. [Sighs] I would have credentials -- real press credentials. Isn't that crazy? LORELAI: It's not crazy. EMILY: So, this is it. This is the last time we'll see you for who knows how long. RORY: Oh, yeah, I guess it is. [A few moments of silence] LORELAI: After-dinner drinks for sure. RICHARD: [Raising his glass] Hear, hear. LUKE'S DINER [Lorelai and Rory enter] RORY: But this list they gave me is just ridiculous. Where am I gonna find a laptop car adapter by tomorrow? LORELAI: 24-hour laptop-car-adapter store. RORY: Seriously, mom. LORELAI: Well honey that's our mission today. We'll buy or borrow. Hey, Caesar, is Luke around? CAESAR: Sure. How are we today, ladies? LORELAI: Fine. RORY: We'll be finer with a little coffee. LORELAI: Two to go, please. CAESAR: With pleasure. Hey, Luke, you got company. Here, let me take that. [Caesar grabs hold of some plates Luke is carrying] LUKE: I got it. CAESAR: Let me. LUKE: I'm fine. CAESAR: It's not a problem. LUKE: It's becoming one. Take it. All right. CAESAR: Sorry. LUKE: Hey. [Tot Lorelai] Hey, Rory! RORY: Hi. LORELAI: Hi, what was all that about? LUKE: Oh he's just trying to show me he can handle things, you know if I leave. LORELAI: If? LUKE: Well t he boat trip's been cancelled, but Caesar's got it in his head that I'm gonna leave at some point so he can prove he can -- whatever. CAESAR: Java one, java two. LORELAI: Thanks [Too Luke] So, Luke... [Sighs] Remember all the burgers and hot dogs I ordered for Rory's party a week from Saturday? LUKE: Yeah, sure. LORELAI: I have to cancel them. LUKE: Why? LORELAI: Well the party's cancelled. KIRK: Wait a second, did you just say Rory's graduation party is cancelled? LORELAI: Oh ho, it's good news. [Pointing to Rory] Someone got a job. LULU: What job? RORY: I'm gonna be a reporter for an online magazine. LORELAI: Oh it's better than that -- she's going to Iowa, and she's gonna be on the campaign bus with Barack Obama. [Blank looks and silence from Kirk, Lulu, Babette and Miss Patty sitting at some tables] BABETTE: No party at all? LORELAI: Babette. LUKE: Congratulations. That's great news. RORY: Thank you. Yeah I'm really excited, but I'm nervous. I have to be a real reporter, yikes. LUKE: You'll be a great one. LORELAI: She will, so, sorry, but no Rory, no party. BABETTE: But you promised us a re-enactment. KIRK: We can still do the re-enactment. Remember my suggestion -- Lulu plays Rory? MISS PATTY: It's not the same, Kirk. And I was so looking forward to having a good cry at the re-enactment.. LORELAI: Uh, okay. You want a re-enactment? We can, we can give you one right, right now. Uh come on, Rory. Okay, so watch this. [Sings "pomp and circumstance"] Okay, and, everybody, the graduate, Lorelai Leigh Gilmore. Ooh. Ooh. Here you go. And shake the hand. RORY: Thank you. LORELAI: Thank you. And you are one of tomorrow's future leaders today. RORY: I am so happy. I am so glad to have graduated Summa-cum-Luke. LORELAI: And then the thing. [miming the moving of the tassel on the hat] Okay. Yay! BABETTE: That's not how I imagined it. LORELAI: I'm sorry, guys. I wish we could do the party. I really do. We just don't have time. She's leaving in two days. MISS PATTY: Two days? RORY: I know. It's really soon. LORELAI: We just have a lot to do. BABETTE: So this is goodbye? RORY: No this isn't goodbye, I'm gonna come by tomorrow and visit everybody. I'm not ready for this to be the real goodbye. LORELAI: Yeah this is more like a "see you later." RORY: Yeah, I'll see you guys later. LORELAI: Okay? So see you later. [They get their coffees and stuff.] RORY: Bye LUKE: See ya. BABETTE: Bye, dollfaces. [Heavily sighs] No party. [Luke also looks sad] DRAGONFLY INN - KITCHEN [Sookie is cooking, Luke enters] LUKE: Hey. SOOKIE: Hey, Luke, how's it going? LUKE: Good. It's going good. How are you? SOOKIE: Ooh Good. Hey, I apologize for the smell in here, but I'm making bouillabaisse. It's kind of at the stinkiest part -- a lot of uncooked fish and garlic. LUKE: It smells good to me. SOOKIE: Well you're very kind. You looking for Lorelai? 'Cause she's out and about, and I don't know when she's coming back. LUKE: Yeah, I know. I saw her in town. SOOKIE: Oh. LUKE: Yeah. SOOKIE: Yeah. So, what's up? LUKE: Well, you know she cancelled Rory's graduation party? SOOKIE: Yeah. I mean I knew that kid wouldn't last a whole summer at home before landing some kind of amazing job, but, god, it happened so lightning fast. LUKE: You know I was thinking maybe we should throw it anyway. SOOKIE: Oh, yeah? LUKE: Yeah, I mean it's a week sooner than we planned, but there's no reason we can't do it. SOOKIE: I guess not. LUKE: And I think we should make it a surprise party. SOOKIE: Who doesn't love a surprise? LUKE: Yeah I got all the hot dogs and the hamburgers, and the buns are on their way today anyway. SOOKIE: You know, that's a very sweet idea Luke. LUKE: Yeah, I think Rory would really love it. SOOKIE: I think Lorelai would love it. LUKE: Yeah, Rory and Lorelai. SOOKIE: Yeah, Rory and Lorelai. [Giggles and chuckles] SOOKIE: I think we should do it! LUKE: Yeah. SOOKIE: Yeah, yeah. LUKE: All right. I'll start telling everybody. SOOKIE: Okay what do you need from me? LUKE: Desserts. SOOKIE: Aha! Well, I'm all over it. LUKE: Okay. SOOKIE: Give Jackson a call. LUKE: Okay. SOOKIE: He'll help you with whatever you need. LUKE: Al right Okay, thanks, Sookie. SOOKIE: Okay. LUKE: All right, bye. STARS HOLLOW - NEAR WESTON'S [Lorelai and Rory are walking] RORY: I don't know, I think it would have made more sense to get a regular-sized shampoo bottle instead of 20 tiny ones. LORELAI: With the big bottle you got to lug it off and on the bus. RORY: Lug! How big do they make them? LORELAI: Look the little bottles give you as much shampoo without the weight. Perfect for travel -- plus, they're cute. RORY: Al right. Oh, I want to stop by the post office. I want to get tons of blank postcards. You are gonna get so many postcards. LORELAI: You could just e-mail me. RORY: Yeah but postcard-sending is a dying art form. Right, and it's nice to get mail. LORELAI: Sure. RORY: Plus, we'll talk all the time. LORELAI: Yeah. What else do you need? RORY: Um, a mini book light. Ah man I had a mini book light, but I lent it to Paris. And by "lent," I mean she totally stole it. LORELAI: I think we have a mini book light in the lost and found at the inn. It's been there like a month. RORY: Oh poor rejected book light. LORELAI: Maybe you should adopt it and give it the love it needs. RORY: All right. Check. LORELAI: What else do we need? Ooh, hey, I have a great idea. Come here. RORY: What, where are we going? [They head towards Miss Pattys.] LORELAI: Remember last year when Miss Patty hurt her back during rehearsal for spring fling? RORY: Oh yeah she should have never demonstrated the Jet s for the little daffodils. LORELAI: She had one of those back-support things that you put on top of chairs. I bet she'd loan that to you. RORY: Yeah but do I really want to be known as "back-support-thingy girl"? LORELAI: AH, hello, two-hour speech, metal folding chairs, and now I'll take questions for an hour. RORY: Just call me "back-support-thingy girl." [Lorelai knocks on the door, no response] LORELAI: That's weird. She never locks this. RORY: Miss Patty? LORELAI: Miss Patty? [Lorelai knocks again as the door opens just enough for miss Patty to stick her head out] MICHEL: Oh, hello, girls. LORELAI: Hi, is everything okay? LORELAI: Oh, yes, everything is fine. I'M...consulting with my muse. RORY: Your muse? MISS PATTY: Yes! whenever I want to think up a new dance routine, I come in here alone, lie down on the floor in the dark, and I let the muse inspire me. Did you want something? LORELAI: That's okay, we'll come back when you're not with your muse. MISS PATTY: Okay, good. LORELAI: Okay, well, so we'll... [The door is abruptly slid close] LORELAI: [To a closed door] See you later. RORY: Odd. LORELAI: Very odd. MISS PATTY'S [They whole meeting is lined up against the wall so if Lorelai looked in eh would no see them] MISS PATTY: Okay, they're gone. BABETTE: Good. Let's get this meeting going. [The lights are turned on and they start to take their seats.] TAYLOR: Once again, this is not a "meeting," per se. We have already broken several Robert's rules of order. BABETTE: So don't tell Robert. LANE: Yeah besides, isn't it worth breaking rules over? It is Rory, for god's sake. BABETTE: So lets start divvying up the duties, who's gonna do the food? LUKE: I got hot dogs and hamburgers and a couple of big grills in the square, and Sookie's got the rest covered, right Jackson? JACKSON: She's at home baking right now. You name the fruit, it'll be in one of her pies. [Murmurs from the crowd] MOREY: Can she make a sour-cream/peach pie? JACKSON: I'll put it on the list. KIRK: I'd like a blackberry. JACKSON: Oh she makes a wicked blackberry and cranberry. MISS PATTY: What about cherry? Cherry is a classic. [The crowd all talking at once] TAYLOR: Please, could we stay focused? People, this gathering is unofficial, as such I would like to have it over with as soon as possible. Now, Luke, I assume you have obtained permits to use two large grills with open flame on our town square? LUKE: [Flustered] Uh, no, I don't, I don't have any permits. I just, I just started this whole thing a couple hours ago. TAYLOR: Outdoor barbecuing sans permit is a violation of town codes. As selectman, I can't approve that. [The crowd complains.] BABETTE: Hey Taylor If this meeting is unofficial, then whatever you say is unofficial, so Luke's barbecuing, what else. LANE: Music. There's got to be music. LUKE: Yeah, who's got a good sound system? MOREY: Yo! KIRK: I believe I can also be of some help in this area. I'd gladly donate my time and expertise as deejay. Did a little deejay work back in college. Went by the moniker "Captain K." LULU: He's really good at scratching. BABETTE: Yeah we've all seen that. LUKE: Okay what about decorations? LULU: I have a bunch of stuff left from a school birthday party - Mylar balloons, streamers. TAYLOR: There are not going to be any Mylar balloons. They are infamous for floating up and catching on power lines. It could cause an outage for the whole town. MOREY: The closest power lines are six miles out of town. [The crowd complains again.] TAYLOR: Nonetheless... LUKE: [Standing up] Nonetheless, Lulu, why don't you bring those balloons and whatever else you got? TAYLOR: You people are violating town ordinances left and right. This is highly irregular. ZACH: Dude, you're who's highly irregular. [Crowd all shouting] TAYLOR: Excuse me? LUKE: I don't know what your problem is, but the town wants to throw this party, and you're either gonna join us or you're gonna stay home and comb your beard. [Crowed all shouting] LUKE: Okay, all right, we're gonna need chairs and tables and volunteers to set them up around the gazebo. Okay we're all gonna get started in the square tonight after dark, okay? [All talking at once, as they get up to start work on the party.] TAYLOR: This will remain an unofficial party, you hear men, unofficial! [SCENE_BREAK] STARS HOLLOW - TOWN SQUARE [Nighttime, Lorelai and Rory walking] RORY: You should come along. It would be fun. LORELAI: No you need some alone time with Lane. RORY: Yeah but it's cutting into our you-and-me time. LORELAI: There's plenty of time. RORY: 36 hours is not plenty of time. LORELAI: That's not true. Imagine if you had a 36-hour flight. That would seem like a long time, right? RORY: Yeah. LORELAI: All right plus, I have to go to Sookie and Jackson's to get you that fanny pack. RORY: Really? LORELAI: What "really"? RORY: You honestly think I'm gonna wear a fanny pack? LORELAI: All I know is, it's on the list, and if it's on the list, I'm getting it for you. You think Tom Brokaw's mother sent him off to his first campaign with no fanny pack? RORY: When, when in my right mind would I... LORELAI: Perhaps the senator might like a piece of gum, and no one has any, and then they say, "what about that girl with the lime-green fanny pack?" [oblivious to the girls some townies start moving tables in the back ground, they see the girls, turn and leave before they see them] RORY: "Lime-green" I would be "Lime-green fanny pack girl." LORELAI: And they bring you over to him, and he says, [using a mans voice] "Hello young lady, what is your name?" [Pretending to be Rory] "My name's Rory Gilmore. Here's your gum." [Normal voice] And like that, you're gum buddies with the future president of the United States! RORY: Oh when you put it that way -- gum buddies. LORELAI: All right look, I'll meet you back at home, okay? RORY: Okay but take a nap, 'cause we're staying up really late. LORELAI: I don't need a nap to stay up really late. RORY: Okay. LORELAI: Give my love to Lane and the boys. [They kiss on the cheeks] RORY: I will. Bye. LORELAI: Bye. [Lorelai looks around to where the townies were with the table but they have long gone.] LANE AND ZACH'S APARTMENT - EXTERIOR [Lane and Rory seated on a bench] LANE: Billy Fink. RORY: You did not! LANE: I did. RORY: But Dave Rogalski. LANE: Not technically my first kiss. RORY: How did I not know this? LANE: I was too ashamed to ever tell you. I mean how would you feel if your first kiss was Billy Fink? RORY: Well just 'cause he didn't come out of the gates strong doesn't mean he didn't turn into a very handsome, dashing billionaire. LANE: He didn't, I ran into him a few years ago, and he's living with his mom and sells shoes in Norwich. RORY: Oh. Well, maybe he'll sell billions of shoes. LANE: [Chuckles] How weird is this? Yesterday we're sitting on your porch playing jacks and praying to grow boobs, and now look at us. I have a husband and two babies in there, and you're about to go off and conquer the world, or at least write about it. RORY: We've come a long way, baby. LANE: I'll say. ZACH: Babe. LANE: Yeah. ZACH: Can I talk to you a sec? LANE: Sure what's up? ZACH: In private. LANE: Oh, well, I'll be right back. RORY: Okay. ZACH: Sorry, Rory. RORY: No problem. [Lane goes inside] LANE: The kids okay? ZACH: Sound asleep. LANE: They what's going on? ZACH: I just got a call from Luke, and they want to start setting up the square for tomorrow. LANE: Yeah so? ZACH: So the honoree is sitting on our porch looking out onto the square, and they can't set up until she goes home. LANE: It's my last night with my best friend. [Lane starts walking outside] ZACH: Well, could you move it along, because it's getting late and we were just trying...[[Lane stops and turns to look at Zach] Hey, I'm just the messenger. [Lane looking mad] You're done when you're done. I'll let them know. LANE: U-Hmm. [Lane goes outside again.] LANE: Sorry about that. [Seeing Rory sad] What's wrong? RORY: I don't know. In the past two minutes sitting here, I've managed to completely freak myself out. The call I haven't really had a chance to stop and think about it, but I just stopped and thought, and I am really nervous. LANE: Totally understandable. RORY: But I'm, like, panic-attack nervous. LANE: Rory, you're gonna do an amazing job, okay? You always do. RORY: See? I hate that. LANE: What? RORY: Everyone thinking I'm gonna do an amazing job all the time, like it's a given. It's not a given. What if I'm a terrible reporter? LANE: Then you'll figure out how to get better. [Sighs] Rory, the reason why everybody knows you're gonna do an amazing job is because everybody knows you. Yeah, you're gonna be nervous. I mean I was nervous before I had the babies. I was throwing up all the time. RORY: You were pregnant. LANE: True, but that was 30% pregnancy, 70% fear of being the world's worst mom. RORY: I don't know. I just don't know about just picking up and leaving until who knows when and leaving my mom -- see? I'm not ready. What reporter freaks out about leaving their mom? LANE: The lucky kind. RORY: It's embarrassing. LANE: How is she holding up? RORY: She's fine. She's not freaked out at all. She's making lists and buying fanny packs. She's not even a little bit sentimental. LANE: Your mom? RORY: Yeah. She's really fine. LANE: I'm sure she's freaking out on the inside. RORY: I don't know. Maybe. [short pause] Lane... LANE: Yeah? RORY: I just... your friendship means so much to me. It's so... LANE: Me, too. RORY: I mean, I don't know what it's like to have a sister, but I feel like I do, you know? LANE: Yeah. RORY: Mrs. Van Gerbig. LANE: Ms. Gilmore. LORELAI'S HOUSE [Rory enters] RORY: Hey. LORELAI: Oh, hey! RORY: You're ironing? LORELAI: The flatter the clothes, the more will fit in your suitcase. RORY: Oh right. LORELAI: How was Lane's? RORY: It was sad, saying goodbye. LORELAI: I'll bet. Oh Sookie wants you to come by tomorrow and say goodbye to her. I made her a promise that you would. RORY: Sure. LORELAI: And I got that fanny pack from Jackson. I think you're right. -- you're never gonna wear it unless you want to be relentlessly teased but the other reporters. RORY: Not so much. LORELAI: But who knows? Maybe you should take it. You know maybe they're teasing reporters who don't have fanny packs. Who knows what the reporter teasing edict is these days. RORY: Mom. LORELAI: Yeah? RORY: I don't get it. LORELAI: What? RORY: How can you be so okay with everything? Ever since I've told you that I'm leaving, you're just all busy with shopping and packing, and you seem fine with it. LORELAI: [Sighs] It's too soon. RORY: What? LORELAI: If I stop to think about you leaving now, I'm gonna fall apart. We still have time left. It's too soon. [A few moments silence] RORY: Here. I'll iron. You fold. STARS HOLLOW - TOWN SQUARE LUKE: Hey, guys, only six chairs to a table. ZACH: I think we can go eight if we grab more from the high school. BRIAN: The door's chained, but I can slip through, I'm skinny like that. LUKE: Six is fine. Not everybody's gonna be sitting down at once. MISS PATTY: We found enough tablecloths. LUKE: Great. WOMAN: It turns out that East-Side Tillie had a stash down in her basement. MISS PATTY: Woke her up out of a dead sleep. She couldn't have been more annoyed. It was fantastic. LUKE: Thanks. ASIAN CAESAR: Hey Luke, I got the turntable. What's next? LUKE: Why don't you help Kirk and Lulu with the lights. ASIAN CAESAR: Okay will do. LUKE: Kirk, careful stringing those lights, okay? One of those light bulbs blows, and the whole thing's useless. JACKSON: Luke, what do you think about these? LUKE: What do I think about what? JACKSON: The centerpieces. LUKE: Oh nice. JACKSON: Sookie's idea, my vegetables. LUKE: All right, great. Thanks. BABETTE: Luuuuuke! Luke! [Running up] LUKE: Yeah, Babette, over here. BABETTE: Oh, Luke! My ankles! Look at my ankles! LUKE: Should I ask why? BABETTE: Bad news, doll, it's gonna rain. LUKE: What? BABETTE: Oh, yeah look at these ankles. They haven't been this swollen since hurricane bob. So then I checked the weather channel, and sure enough, Nick Walker confirmed it. There's a storm front moving in over Connecticut. LUKE: It's gonna rain tomorrow? BABETTE: First thing in the AM, Nick Walker -- you a Nick Walker fan? LUKE: No. BABETTE: Oh, you should be. He's just terrific -- always dead on and so charming. Of course, I've always had a thing for meteorologists. They're kinda like astronauts crossed with fortune tellers, very intriguing Anyway, he says it's definite. LUKE: Oh. BABETTE: Yeah, so I thought you'd want to know. Sorry for the bad news, but you know my ankles. LUKE: No, that's true. They're never wrong. BABETTE: No, no, My hair's only 50-50, but my ankles -- you could take them to the bank. MISS PATTY: What we gonna do? ZACH: We could have it in the diner. LUKE: How you gonna fit 200 people in a diner? ZACH: In shifts? BABETTE: Oh what a shame. BRIAN: Maybe we can break the party up into people's houses, like little party stations. LUKE: You gonna wake up the whole town and arrange that? BRIAN: It sounded dumb while I was saying it. LUKE: I can't believe it's gonna rain tomorrow. JACKSON: You don't suppose anybody has any idea where we could get a big wedding tent at one o'clock in the morning? BABETTE: [Sighs] ZACH: It was a nice idea, man. [Luke is deep in thought] LORELAI'S HOUSE - RORY'S ROOM [Lorelai comes to the door and looks at Rory sleeping, then sits on her bed, almost crying.] LUKE'S DINER [Luke is sewing together lots of tarps and stuff.] He goes to the draw and pulls out the necklace box.] STARS HOLLOW - TOWN SQUARE [Lorelai and Rory in the Jeep, it raining heavy] RORY: Why is no one picking up their phones? I want to say goodbye to everyone. LORELAI: We'll track them all down, I promise. [Gasps] Rory, look. [Just about the whole town is under a giant tent cheering, there is a Bon Voyage sign to Rory.] LORELAI: I think you're gonna get to say goodbye to everybody. [Cheering continues as Zach and Jackson come out to the Jeep with umbrellas.] RORY: Did you... LORELAI: No, I didn't do a thing. [Cheers and applause as the girls run back to the tent with the guys. They girls look on in amazement.] LANE: We love you, Rory! [Indistinct shouting as the camera pans the crowd.] LORELAI: Whoo! RORY: Whoo! Yeah! GYPSY: We love you, Rory! BABETTE: We're so proud of you. [Shouting continues] LORELAI: Wow. RORY: Wow. [The cheering dies down] KIRK: Rory, in my official capacity as town sash presenter, I would like to present you with this sash, which I also happened to make in my official capacity as town sash maker. RORY: Well, thank you. KIRK: Kneel before me. [Rory looks concerned] All right, could you at least bow your head a little bit? LORELAI: Wow. That's quite a sash. KIRK: I got the material from one of mother's nighties. RORY: Ew! MISS PATTY: We wouldn't let you go without a party, sweetheart! BABETTE: All right, no shoving. Let's make a line. Everybody gets a chance to hug Rory. LORELAI: I see mom and dad. I'll be right back. [Emily and Richard are standing alone off to the side.] LORELAI: Hey. RICHARD: This is quite a party. LORELAI: I know. It is, isn't it? EMILY: We had to cancel a lunch with the Stuttgart's because we only heard about it from Sookie last night. RICHARD: Emily, that hardly matters. EMILY: I didn't say it mattered. I was merely relaying the fact. LORELAI: Well, anyway, I'm glad you're here. RICHARD: We wouldn't miss it. EMILY: Of course we wouldn't. We're her grandparents. LORELAI: I can't believe they did this for her. RICHARD: I don't think this is all for Rory. I think this party's a testament to you, Lorelai, and the home you've created here. I regret that you needed... EMILY: Richard. RICHARD: Now, let me finish, Emily. I regret it, and we've...recent experience have taught me... EMILY: Oh, please don't become one of those "I had a heart attack, let me express my every thought" types. RICHARD: Not every thought, dear, just this one. It takes a r-- [Voice breaking] A remarkable person to inspire all of this. LORELAI: Thanks, dad. [A few moments silence] EMILY: Okay, that's enough. It's not as though the two of you are saying goodbye. TAYLOR: May I have your attention, please? I'd like to welcome you all to this Bon Voyage party in honor of one of Stars Hollow's favorite daughters, Ms. Rory Gilmore! [Cheers and applause] RICHARD: Brava! Brava! TAYLOR: I've known Rory, as have most of you... EMILY: Have you given any thought to my spa idea? LORELAI: Oh, yeah. I don't think I'm interested, though. TAYLOR: ...Glorious spring day, pregnant with pride and anticipation, preparing to birth you from our collective womb, fully gestated and nourished. And so we breathe deep, and, with these last, painful contractions, we push you out into the world, spank your bottom, and wipe the amniotic fluid from your eyes as you issue your first independent breath. EMILY: Is this speech making you a little queasy? LORELAI: A little bit. TAYLOR: Rory, would you like to say a few words? [Cheers and applause] RORY: Thank you, Taylor, for that very unique tribute. Um... I love this place. I...I just loved growing up here, and I love all of you. And thank you so much for doing all of this. It's amazing. I just -- it's so -- oh, I'm on the verge of gushing, so I'm just gonna stop myself here. I don't want to gush, except one more thing -- to my mom, who is just everything to me and everything I am and who I'm gonna miss so much. [Lorelai looks on almost crying, she nods] TAYLOR: [Chuckles] All right, let's get this party started. [Later, the rain has stopped and it's nighttime, Kool & the Gang's "celebration" plays, people are dancing, we pan to see Luke serving with Lorelai nearby.] WOMAN: No bratwurst? LUKE: No bratwurst. WOMAN: Just corn, then. LUKE: What can I get you? LORELAI: Can't decide. MAN: Hey Luke, I'll have two hamburgers, medium rare. LUKE: Hold on a sec. EMILY: Lorelai, we really should be going, but I want to say goodbye to Rory. LORELAI: I guess I'll eat later. EMILY: Now, listen, instead of a spa, what about a tennis court? People love tennis. You could put a bubble over it. LORELAI: Oh, god. EMILY: Outside the inn you could use it during the summer and winter. There's really no downside. LORELAI: Um-hmm. EMILY: Now it's expensive, but your father and I have discussed it, and we are willing to loan you the money. LORELAI: Oh, mother. EMILY: Standard terms, no interest. LORELAI: Mom, why do you want to loan me money? EMILY: All it would require is the three of us sit down and hash out the details. Obviously we want to get together with you from time to time to see how things are progressing, but we wouldn't become pests about it. LORELAI: Mom, why don't we just talk about it Friday night at dinner? EMILY: Oh, so our Friday-night dinners are going to continue, then? LORELAI: Well, we might as well. I've kind of gotten used to it. EMILY: All right. That sounds fine. But don't be late and don't wear jeans. LORELAI: When have I ever worn jeans to dinner? EMILY: Well I don't know, it could very well be Rory who enforces the dress code. I'm just saying I don't think that jeans are appropriate. LORELAI: Fine, spandex and a tube top it is. RORY: Hey. LORELAI: Hey. RICHARD: My dear. EMILY: Oh, thank you. Now, listen, you keep in touch, and not just postcards -- phone calls as well. RORY: Of course. EMILY: It's an honor to be your grandmother, Rory Gilmore. RORY: Well, thank you, I... thank you for everything. EMILY: Oh, dear. RORY: I'll walk you guys to your car. [Music "Celebrate good times, come on"] SOOKIE: Hey. LORELAI: Hey! SOOKIE: It's beautiful, isn't it? LORELAI: It's so beautiful. I can't believe you pulled it off. SOOKIE: No, I just did all the baking. This was all Luke. LORELAI: What? SOOKIE: He made me promise not to tell you, but I don't care. This is all Luke. He did all of it. He's the one that came to me and said, "let's do the party," and then he planned the secret town meeting, everything. LORELAI: Really? SOOKIE: Yeah. I mean last night when we thought it was gonna rain and we'd have to cancel the party, he went around and collected everybody's tarps and tents and raincoats. I don't know how he did it. He must have stayed up all night doing this. Can you believe that? LORELAI: Yeah... I'll be back. SOOKIE: Okay. LORELAI: Hey, Kirk. KIRK: [Yelling] I can't hear you! My eardrum popped! TAYLOR: Lorelai, if you see Luke, tell him that he and he alone is responsible for all party cleanup. LORELAI: Okay. BABETTE: Lorelai, you want to make a Morey sandwich? LORELAI: Maybe later, Babette. [Music, Jackson 5 "Let me show you what it's all about reading and writing, arithmetic". Luke exits the diner, Lorelai walks up to him. The Mighty Lemon Drops' "Inside Out" plays] LORELAI: Hey. LUKE: Hey. [Both sigh] LORELAI: Thank you. LUKE: Oh, it's...no big deal. LORELAI: Luke. LUKE: I just... like to see you happy. [Luke and Lorelai move in at the same time and they kiss. Holding each other tight as the volume of the music playing rises so does the camera to show to party in the background lyrics "You can't stop my heart from turning inside out try and stop my world from turning inside out you can't stop my heart from turning inside out"] LORELAI'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM LORELAI: Okay, you have these. Oh, honey, let me help you with that. RORY: I got it. LORELAI: Oh, no, I got it. RORY: I know how to work a zipper, mom. LORELAI: Okay. That's it, huh? RORY: Yep. LORELAI: Got everything? RORY: I think so. LORELAI: Oh, what about this? RORY: That's for the plane. LORELAI: Oh, how about these? RORY: Um, those are old and broken. I have new ones. LORELAI: I just feel like I need more time. RORY: I know. LORELAI: I really just feel ambushed, you know? I thought I had so much more...time. I thought I had all summer to impart my wisdom about work and life and your future, and I feel like I had something to tell you. Oh, on the bus, make sure you choose a good seat, you know because people are creatures of habit, and the seat you pick in the beginning could be your seat for the rest of the year. You know. Get a window seat, honey, 'cause there's so much to see. And you might want to sit in the back, because people there tend to be more chatty and friendly and -- I don't know what it is about the front of the bus, you know but people there just tend to be a little more bossy and uptight. It's just been that way since first grade. And, honey, I know what you're gonna say, but just don't wear shorts, okay no matter how hot it is. It's not professional, and all that heat and those sticky vinyl seats -- it'll be like ripping a band-aid off your thigh every time you stand up. Don't be too shy. Don't be too forward, but don't be too shy, 'cause you make a lovely first impression, but you really grow on people, too. RORY: Mom. LORELAI: You need ziplock bags. You should have them all the time, they're so handy. RORY: Mom. LORELAI: And I'm gonna give you that orange sweater. I know you've wanted it, and I'm you know what finally gonna give it to you. RORY: Mom...You've given me everything I need. LORELAI: [Sighs] Okay. RORY: Okay. LORELAI: Shall we? RORY: What's the rush? It's, like, 5:00 A.M. LORELAI: Got a stop to make. [Lorelai grabs the bags and exits, followed by Rory who takes one quick last look.] LUKE'S DINER [Luke is pouring coffee for Lorelai and Rory.] RORY: Mmm. The coffee smells good. LORELAI: Hello, old friend. LUKE: How is it? RORY: Mmm. LORELAI: Your first pot is always your best. LUKE: Good. RORY: Thanks for opening up the place. LUKE: I got to take care of my best customers. RORY: [giggles] LUKE: So, you guys know what you want? LORELAI: Oh, hmm, I have no idea. RORY: Looks like a delightful menu. LORELAI: Oh, it does look delightful, charming. RORY: Very charming, adorable fonts. LORELAI: I wish there were pictures. LUKE: Hmm. LORELAI: You know, I'm gonna need a minute. I can't decide. LUKE: Take all the time you need. [Rory smiles as Luke walks away from the table.] LORELAI: But could we get some eggs and bacon and hash browns to tide us over? LUKE: Coming up. LORELAI: And pancakes? RORY: Hey, I like your necklace. LORELAI: Oh, you do? [Lorelai looks over her shoulder towards the kitchen] RORY: It suits you. LORELAI: Thanks. Hey you got to be careful when you drink coffee on the bus, it's bumpy. RORY: I can handle it. LORELAI: I should have gotten you a sippy cup. RORY: Maybe I should get a flask. LORELAI: Do they make flasks for hot beverages? RORY: Yeah they're called thermoses. LORELAI: Right, I'll get you a thermos that says "World's Greatest Reporter" to match your cap. RORY: Oh, yeah, I meant to tell you that I left that cap at home. LORELAI: What? RORY: Well It wasn't very flattering. LORELAI: Well how will people know you're the world's greatest reporter? RORY: I don't know. LORELAI: I guess they'll just have to read your stuff. RORY: I guess so. [The camera pulls back as the girls continue to talk, Luke gets their breakfast ready in the background.]

Rory gets a job following the presidential campaign of one of the candidates running for president. While she prepares to leave in a mere three days, Lorelai adjusts to the idea that she may not see her daughter again for weeks, even months. Meanwhile, Luke is still trying to sort out how he really feels about Lorelai after they locked eyes at the karaoke jam. To see Rory off before she leaves for her new job, the entire town puts on a farewell party, despite the presence of rain.

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INT. BUILDING LOBBY - NIGHT (SFX: FIRE ALARM B.G.) GUARD: Damn it. Now I know they're doing it on purpose! JANITOR: Who? GUARD: The guys who installed the new fire alarm system. That's the third time this week the damn things gone off an hour after they quit work. JANITOR: Aren't you going to call the fire department? GUARD: It is a false alarm. It's payback for them having to sign in and out. JANITOR: You're not supposed to use the elevator in a fire. GUARD: There's no fire, George! And I'm not walking up five floors for a false alarm. JANITOR: Can't you shut it off here? GUARD: Don't you think I would if I could? They haven't connected that circuit yet... on purpose! (SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN) (MUSIC OUT) (THEME MUSIC UP OVER OPENING TITLE/CREDITS/ ACTION AND OUT) MUSIC IN: INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY TONY: (CHUCKLES) Oh, yeah! (PHONE RINGS) TONY: (INTO PHONE) Special Agent Todd's desk. I'm sorry, she stepped away. KATE: DiNozzo! TONY: May I ask who's calling? Um...one moment. KATE: Hey! TONY: Dwayne. KATE: I do have voicemail. TONY: What fun is that? KATE: (INTO PHONE) Hi. Um...yeah. Me, too. Oh, yeah. I know where that is. Okay, great. I'm leaving now. 'Bye. (SFX: HANGS UP PHONE) TONY: His name is Dwayne? KATE: You really need to get a social life of your own. TONY: Oh, I have a social life. KATE: What's tonight, Celebrity Mole? TONY: No. Best of Jackass. GIBBS: Hold on! TONY: What is it, boss? GIBBS: Chris Pacci was murdered. KATE: The agent that sits behind me? (BEGIN FLASHBACK SCENE) TONY: Hey, Pacci. PACCI: Hey, Tony. TONY: How's the shoulder? PACCI: It's getting there. You got a minute, Gibbs? GIBBS: No, not really. (PASSAGE OF TIME) GIBBS: Pacci, what do you need? PACCI: Ah, you're busy. It's a cold case. What's one more day? (END FLASHBACK SCENE) MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. LOBBY - DAY GIBBS: Detective Hanley. HANLEY: Special Agent Gibbs. GIBBS: Thanks for the call. HANLEY: When we ID'd him as NCIS, I assumed you'd want to take the lead. GIBBS: I appreciate that. Who found the body? HANLEY: The janitor and the security guard. They were alerted when a fire alarm went off on the fifth floor. TONY: On our way up. HANLEY: We held off on taking their statements. Thought you'd want to do that. DUCKY: Oh, Christopher, who did this to you? It's easier to overcome the gore and inhumanity when you don't know the victim. But it's so hard to be detached when it's one of your own. JASON: Should I start taking photos, Doctor Mallard? DUCKY: Yeah. Work goes on. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. STAIRWELL - DAY GUARD: I called nine one one and someone left the building from the rear emergency exit, setting off the door alarm. GIBBS: Did the security cameras catch it? GUARD: Um, they're not installed yet. The building's being retrofitted with new systems and nothing's on line. GIBBS: What time did Chr (BEAT) what time did the victim enter the building? GUARD: I don't remember seeing him come in. GIBBS: Is there another entrance? GUARD: No. He would have had to come through here. GIBBS: How could you not see him? Does this lobby get that busy? GUARD: He could have come in while I was signing construction workers out. GIBBS: I want a copy of their names and a list of the floors they work on. GUARD: Yes, Sir. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. ELEVATOR - DAY (SFX: CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) GIBBS: The b*st*rd disemboweled him. DUCKY: Yes, but I don't think that was the cause of death. GIBBS: Is that a bullet wound? DUCKY: Yes. In the neck. Most likely pierced the carotid artery. It was a quick death. He would have bled out in less than a minute. GIBBS: Shouldn't there be a lot more blood? DUCKY: If he was shot in the elevator. GIBBS: You think it happened topside? DUCKY: That would be my guess. But this... this slashing was done here in the elevator. GIBBS: Rage or ritual, Duck? DUCKY: I don't know, Jethro. Maybe after I've autopsied. GIBBS: Chris asked me for help on a cold case. I was chasing Curtin and didn't have time. DUCKY: Jethro. GIBBS: He said it could wait. What difference would another day make? DUCKY: Jethro, this is not your fault. GIBBS: It feels like it is, Ducky. (SFX: CELL PHONE RINGS) (BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS OVER FLASHBACK SCENES) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) You found a lot of blood. (SCENE CUT) KATE: (INTO PHONE) Yeah. GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) We're looking for a bullet. KATE: (INTO PHONE) We're on it. (SCENE CUT) KATE: (V.O./FILTERED) Whatever happened... it started on the sixth floor. (SCENE CUT) KATE: (INTO PHONE) We followed the trail backwards. (SCENE CUT) (SFX: GUNSHOT) KATE: (V.O.) Pacci made it to the stairwell... he exited the... (SCENE CUT) KATE: (INTO PHONE) ...fifth floor (SCENE CUT) KATE: (V.O.) ...where he pulled the fire alarm...(SFX: FIRE ALARM B.G.) (SCENE CUT) KATE: (INTO PHONE) ...before making it to the elevator. (END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - NIGHT TONY: God, Chris was so a**l. I borrowed his stapler once. Put it back in the wrong place. Heard about it for days. GIBBS: Give me his keys. KATE: Regs are to carry your weapon from portal to portal. Why'd he leave his here? GIBBS: He was tailing somebody, going from place to place. Didn't want to stop to identify himself or risk setting off an alarm. TONY: We've all done it. Especially with the heavy security these days. GIBBS: I'll go over his case files. You two check out his house. KATE: Tonight? GIBBS: Yes, tonight! KATE: I've just got to make a call. GIBBS: Is there anyone you need to call, DiNozzo? TONY: No, boss. No calls. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. PACCI'S HOUSE - NIGHT (DOOR OPENS) KATE: Did you know Pacci well? TONY: Softball. Beers after work. That kind of knowing. KATE: When he left this morning, he had no idea we'd be going through his personal effects. TONY: Part of the job. KATE: But you knew him. Don't you feel like you're...? TONY: What? KATE: I don't know... like you're invading his privacy? TONY: Well, he's dead, Kate. With his guts slashed open I'd say Chris' privacy is about as invaded as it's gonna get. (SFX: PHONE RINGS) TONY: (INTO PHONE) Hello. MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Is this the Pacci residence? TONY: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, who's this? (BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) NCIS Special Agent McGee. (SCENE CUT) TONY: (INTO PHONE) McGee, it's DiNozzo. What are you doing calling this number? (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) Special Agent Pacci wanted me to do something for him. Is he there? Can I speak to him? (SCENE CUT) TONY: (INTO PHONE) No. MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) DiNozzo, this isn't a good time, okay? (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) This is... TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) He's been murdered, McGee. (SCENE CUT) TONY: (INTO PHONE) What did he ask you to do for him? (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) He wanted um... civilian files from a three year old cold case. (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) I spent all day in the Buford County Courthouse searching for it. TONY: (INTO PHONE) Did you get it? MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Yeah. TONY: (INTO PHONE) What's in it? (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) A car accident report. I didn't think I should read it. (SCENE CUT) TONY: (INTO PHONE) You and the report. NCIS Headquarters. Zero seven hundred. MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Okay. (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) Tony? TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) What? MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) I'm sorry. (SCENE CUT) TONY: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, kid. Aren't we all? (END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. NCIS LAB - DAY GIBBS: Did you get the bullet we found last night? ABBY: I already ran it. GIBBS: What time did you get in? ABBY: Four a.m. GIBBS: Thanks, Abs. ABBY: Well, Pacci was family. The slug looks pretty clean. From a three fifty seven. Based on rifling, it came from a Smith and Wesson, model sixty six. GIBBS: Very small and easy to conceal. ABBY: Yeah. I ran a comparison through NIBIN. I got nada. Looks like the gun's a virgin, but I'll keep searching. GIBBS: Yeah. Abs, did Pacci ask you to do anything for him recently? ABBY: Not in a while. GIBBS: He was working a cold case. Search the hard drive on his computer. ABBY: You got it. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY DUCKY: Put this back with the others. GIBBS: What have you found? DUCKY: Well, as I thought, the bullet tore through the carotid artery. The massive loss of blood while fleeing his attacker was almost instantaneously fatal. GIBBS: The slashing done post-mortem? DUCKY: I believe so. It's hard to tell for certain. I mean, a three to four inch blade was thrust in here below the sternum and sliced down to here. These two more indiscriminate incisions were done next. GIBBS: Same question, rage or ritual? DUCKY: Well, neither. I think the killer was looking for something. Here. There's a small foreign object lodged here in the upper alimentary canal. GIBBS: What is that? DUCKY: I was about to find out when you came in. GIBBS: Did Chris swallow this? DUCKY: That would be my guess, Jethro. GIBBS: Ducky, would this be hard to find without an x-ray? DUCKY: Extremely. GIBBS: Especially if an alarm was blaring and the attacker knew that security had been alerted. (MUSIC OVER ACTION/DUCKY REMOVES THE OBJECT) DUCKY: Here we are. GIBBS: What is that? JASON: It's a memory card, Sir, from a digital camera. DUCKY: Why on Earth would Chris swallow a memory card? GIBBS: He knew he was dying.... and he knew you'd be doing the autopsy. Chris wanted you to find that. Dead man talking, Duck. (MUSIC UP AND OUT) MUSIC IN: INT. NCIS LAB - DAY ABBY: Obviously they're surveillance photos. TONY: Ooh, hottie. ABBY: Don't you think she's a little bit too old for you, Tony? TONY: No, she's about my age. ABBY: That's exactly my point. Um... there's nothing on the card but candids. Based on the date time stamp they were all taken in the past two days. KATE: I interviewed all the workers. Nobody remembers seeing Pacci or anything unusual. But one of them did find this. He found it at the bottom of the stairwell this morning. GIBBS: Chris' camera? KATE: NCIS issued. It's gotta be his. (INTERCUT FLASHBACK SCENE) GIBBS: No memory card. KATE: Nope. MCGEE: Oh, sorry. Sorry I'm five minutes late. I had to park in the visitor's lot and the guard... GIBBS: Where is it, McGee? (GIBBS GRABS THE BRIEFCASE AND OPENS IT) MCGEE: Special Agent Pacci wanted that ASAP. KATE: What is it? MCGEE: It's a civil investigation of an automobile accident in Buford County three years ago. A Naval officer was killed. I read it last night. TONY: I didn't have breakfast this morning. You don't mind, do you? MCGEE: No. ABBY: Yes, Tony! Hi, McGee. GIBBS: I remember this case. Lieutenant Commander Voss was under investigation for credit card fraud. He stole over ten million dollars from the Navy. TONY: He the guy that died before they could file charges? GIBBS: Yep. The money was never found. Case went cold. KATE: Why was Pacci working it? GIBBS: Found a lead on the money. It may be her. McGee! TONY: Yes, boss. GIBBS: I want you on this. I'm going to get you T-A-D here. DiNozzo, you take McGee with you. You find out who she is and where she is. TONY: Let's go, hotshot. ABBY: You need a place to stay? MCGEE: Um.... well...well... TONY: McGee! MCGEE: Coming. (TONY AND MCGEE WALK O.S.) KATE: How'd he die? GIBBS: What? KATE: Lieutenant Commander Voss, how'd he die? He was burned to death? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY DUCKY: Why am I looking at a three year old autopsy report? GIBBS: Kate's idea. Chris had this autopsy pulled, Doc. He must have suspected something was wrong in it. DUCKY: I'd be very surprised if there were, Jethro. This was done by Hugh Putnam. He's a very competent and thorough M.E. I've worked with him before. GIBBS: Check it out anyway. (GIBBS WALKS O.S.) KATE: Please. He's got to learn to say please. DUCKY: Ah, Christopher, you've left us a bit of a mystery. Give me some direction. What should I be looking for in this autopsy report? Hmm? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. PASSAGE WAY - DAY GRAVES: You know, I already told Special Agent Pacci everything I could remember about Commander Voss. GIBBS: When was that? GRAVES: That would have been Tuesday morning. You know, we get underway in two days. Can't you get whatever info you need off of Agent Pacci? I can't tell you any more than I already told him. GIBBS: He was murdered last night, Captain. GRAVES: (BEAT) I'm sorry. GIBBS: You were Lieutenant Commander Voss' C.O. in Norfolk when he was under investigation. GRAVES: Yeah, he was my command supply officer. And I've got to tell you I was shocked when the credit card fraud was uncovered and he was suspected. KATE: Nobody else had access to the cards? GRAVES: There's thousands of military and civilian employees who had access to those cards. That's why he was able to pull it off. KATE: I don't understand. GRAVES: In order to cut down on the cash disbursed, the D-O-D issues credit cards. A phony company was set up making small charges against a vast number of these accounts, accounts that Commander Voss had approved. GIBBS: How'd he get caught? GRAVES: Well, he didn't for almost four years. Then he decided to expand his scam to bilk the entire Atlantic Fleet Command. He got over twelve million before finally somebody noticed anything. KATE: What happened to the money? GRAVES: Nobody knows. When Commander Voss died, all he had was savings that were reasonable for a Lieutenant Commander in the Navy, which is why I'm not certain he did it. GIBBS: What did Special Agent Pacci ask you? GRAVES: He didn't ask me anything about the scandal. All he wanted to know was who Voss had dated. And I didn't know. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY (SFX: TONY DRUMS HIS FINGERS) TONY: McGee, it's not like you. What's taking so long? MCGEE: I've almost got it. TONY: You know, the quicker you get this done, the more quality time you have to spend with a certain tattooed forensic technician of the Goth persuasion. MCGEE: What do you mean by that? TONY: Oh, come on! Abby told me you closed the deal under some pretty hinky circumstances. MCGEE: She told you that? Well, the hinky thing of it - did she tell you that that was her idea? Because, (BEAT) Abby didn't tell you anything, did she? TONY: A well-trained NCIS Special Agent is good at extracting information. You'll learn. Focus. (SFX: COMPUTER BEEP TONES) MCGEE: I have her address. TONY: You do? How? MCGEE: Look. Since evidently this is her residence, I used the process of elimination. Quercus Virginia. TONY: Excuse me. MCGEE: That's a variety of oak tree. TONY: How can you tell? It doesn't have any leaves on it. MCGEE: I identified the bark. TONY: Of course you did. MCGEE: A search of the registry from the Arboretum Society shows that twenty eight streets were planted with that genus of tree. So I narrowed it down even further. The Department of Public Works says that that Victorian light, circa nineteen oh five, was installed on only seven of those streets. If we look even closer... TONY: Ah, she's got great legs. MCGEE: Yes, she does. TONY: You narrowed it down to seven streets. MCGEE: Four of those are eliminated because they don't have three digit addresses. Of the remaining, only one, according to the U.S. Postal Service... Fortieth Street... has a mailbox in the middle of the block. TONY: Okay, I'll take it from here, McGee. You look like you could use some coffee. MCGEE: Not really. TONY: I'll take mine with three sugars and a hazel nut. (SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN) TONY: How'd it go? GIBBS: Tell me you have her name, DiNozzo. TONY: Any second, boss. I've got an address. I'm running it through the search engines. KATE: How'd you find it? TONY: Process of elimination, actually. Here it is. Amanda Reed. (SFX: COMPUTER BEEP TONES) GIBBS: Background her. Deep as you can go. Come on, Tony. McGee, good work on the address. MCGEE: Oh, thank you, boss. (GIBBS SPITS OUT THE COFFEE) (KATE LAUGHS) [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. STREET - DAY TONY: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. Thanks for that. (TO GIBBS) Well, Kate can't find any criminal record. In fact, Amanda Reed sounds like an upstanding citizen. Single, real clean TRW. She just bought this townhouse. Paid cash. No mortgage. She... recently was accepted to the Potomac Country Club as a member. GIBBS: I'm impressed. TONY: Do you want me to do the interview? GIBBS: No. TONY: I can work her, boss. GIBBS: Chris was keeping his distance for a reason. Until we find out why, we do the same. TONY: Why? GIBBS: This photograph was taken from up there. Excuse me, are you the building manager? NORM: No. I got a thing for sweeping sidewalks. GIBBS: Is your apartment still for rent? NORM: Are you guys... together? TONY: (LAUGHS) No, it's not what you think. GIBBS: NCIS. NORM: Oh. The guy the other day showed me a badge just like that. GIBBS: Did he rent it? NORM: Nah, he just took some pictures inside and said he'd get back to me. GIBBS: We'd like to see the apartment. NORM: To take pictures or to rent it? GIBBS: To rent. NORM: Oh, all right. GIBBS: We're going to pick up where Chris left off. Stake out time. TONY: (SHOUTS) Yes! (CUT TO BLACK) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY TONY: I haven't been on a stakeout for a long time. I'm looking forward to this. KATE: Figures. You're a voyeur. You like spying on people. TONY: And this is legal. KATE: Would you be as excited if the mark was a three hundred pound bald guy? TONY: Nope. GIBBS: What'd you find out? KATE: No vehicle registered in Amanda Reed's name. She doesn't even have a driver's license. But a lot of people don't have cars in the city. GIBBS: DiNozzo? TONY: A connect between the dead Commander Voss and Amanda Reed. I ran a title search on the townhouse she just bought. It's too much to be a coincidence. GIBBS: Are you going to spit it out, or do I have to waste my coffee on your head. TONY: The house was in the Voss family for three generations. The Commander's father lost it in a bankruptcy in seventy nine. I got a call in to the real estate agent who sold it to Amanda Reed. Waiting to hear back from her. GIBBS: Kate and I will take the first shift. You and McGee will relieve us at nineteen hundred. TONY: Yeah. GIBBS: Problemo? TONY: Well... KATE: You really want to do that to McGee? Special Agent Bligh here is going to eat him alive. TONY: McGee looks up to me as a mentor. KATE: Uh! GIBBS: You want to be stuck in a cramped apartment with DiNozzo? Be my guest. KATE: On the other hand, it'll help McGee build character. MCGEE: All set, boss. The secured phone line is installed and the surveillance equipment is loaded in the van. GIBBS: Good. MCGEE: Special Agent Pacci filled out a requisition for the same equipment and never picked it up. GIBBS: Yeah. Yeah, I know. Let's go, Kate. TONY: You ever been on a stakeout before, McGee? MCGEE: No, but I'm looking forward to the experience. KATE: Behave yourself. (SFX: TONY LAUGHS) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. APARTMENT - DAY (MUSIC OVER SURVEILLANCE ACTION) GIBBS: Hey Abs, are you there?(BEGIN RADIO COMMUNICATION INTERCUTS) ABBY: Yeah, Gibbs. I finally got the... (SCENE CUT) ABBY: (V.O./FILTERED) ....link working. GIBBS: Our lady's back. (SCENE CUT) ABBY: Yeah, I saw her. I finished pulling the last two weeks off Pacci's computer. There wasn't a lot there. Like a lot of older agents... (SCENE CUT) ABBY: (V.O./FILTERED) .... he wasn't very computer savy. (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) Send me the files. ABBY: Well, you know how to download them? (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: Don't go there, Abs. (SCENE CUT) ABBY: Touchy. Can we do a sound check on the laser-mic? (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: Sure. (DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES) GIBBS: Where'd she go? KATE: Starbucks. Seems to be a regular. Non-fat, grande, foamy latte. Then to a pharmacy to pick up a prescription. GIBBS: Mmm, I think she's running water. (SCENE CUT) ABBY: Oh, yeah. I hear it loud and clear. (SCENE CUT) KATE: Well, the lady's got expensive taste. The purse is Prada. It'd cost me a month's pay. (END RADIO INTERCUTS) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. REAL ESTATE OFFICE PAT STONE: I've had quick sales before, but nothing like this. She wrote a check for the full asking price, no contingencies, and we closed in fifteen days. TONY: And you told all that to Special Agent Pacci? PAT STONE: Yeah. He first came in two or three years ago, wanted to be notified if the townhouse was ever listed. I thought he wanted to buy. TONY: Couldn't afford it, so you called him when it went back on the market. PAT STONE: Oh, well, the truth is I forgot. After it sold I remembered. I called. I thought he was going to be upset, but when I told him how Miss Reed had made the buy he sounded a little excited. TONY: And did you get to know her very well? PAT STONE: No, not really. I usually get to look at the client's loan aps and uh... you know, tax returns. But this was such a clean deal, I didn't have to bother with any of that. TONY: Well, thanks. You've been a big help. PAT STONE: Sure. Say, why isn't Special Agent Pacci here? TONY: I'm filling in for him on the case. Thanks again. PAT STONE: Do you want to buy a house? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. APARTMENT - DAY KATE: Anything? GIBBS: Nope. Abby was right. Chris didn't leave much of a computer trail. He was surfing the website of a Bangkok visitor's bureau, but I cannot figure out why. (KNOCK ON DOOR) KATE: I'll get it. (DOOR OPENS) TONY: Miss me? KATE: What's that? TONY: Dinner. I'm trying to broaden Special Agent McGee's palette. KATE: It stinks! GIBBS: What did you two find out? TONY: Well apparently Chris knew that Amanda had a thing for the Voss family home. He's been keeping an eye on it. GIBBS: What's Amanda Reed's link to Voss? MCGEE: I researched Amanda Reed's prior residences. Her last known address was Virginia Beach... TONY: Which is eight miles from Norfolk where Lieutenant Commander Voss was stationed. MCGEE: Before that she lived in Jacksonville, Florida. TONY: While he was at Mayport Naval Station... ten miles away. MCGEE: Prior to that, Amanda Reed lived in La Mesa, California... TONY: Just outside of San Diego while he pulled duty at Coronado. KATE: Well, they knew each other. GIBBS: Sounds like more than knew to me. TONY: Good work, huh, boss? GIBBS: Tomorrow's garbage day. I'm sure she'll take her trash out tonight. Go through it. TONY: Right. KATE: And by the way, Tony, there's only one bathroom. It's clean now. I want to find it that way when I get back. TONY: What do you think I'm going to do? KATE: I've seen you fire your weapon. I don't trust your aim. TONY: I love this. It's just like the movie "Stakeout." MCGEE: There was a movie "Stakeout?" TONY: How old are you? It was a classic. Richard Dreyfuss and one of Martin Sheen's kids. KATE: Emilio Estevez. MCGEE: Well how can Estevez be a Sheen? KATE: Martin Sheen is not a Sheen. TONY: It was cool. There were two teams, just like us, trading shifts, pulling practical jokes on each other. KATE: I'm warning you, DiNozzo. Don't even go there. (SFX: TONY UNPACKS BAG) TONY: We gotta go there. Any ideas, McGee? MCGEE: No! TONY: Well, don't worry. I've got plenty. MCGEE: Do you realize that any prank we pull on Kate we'll also be pulling on Gibbs? TONY: That's a problem. MCGEE: Unless... nah. TONY: What? MCGEE: Well, I was thinking, since she is expecting something, maybe we should do nothing. TONY: That's brilliant! MCGEE: It'll drive her nuts trying to figure out what we did that we didn't do. TONY: You're all right, McGee. Have a pastrami. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY DUCKY: Jethro, I didn't expect you back this late. I was just about to call you. GIBBS: Did you find something off in that autopsy report? DUCKY: No, I didn't. It was detailed and complete. As I expected the M.E.'s transcript was impeccable. There was a full complement of photos, and the lab work-ups were everything that I would have asked for. GIBBS: Who identified Voss' body? DUCKY: Nobody. They used a DNA match as the body was badly burned in the automobile crash. GIBBS: Ducky, would Buford County still have the tissue samples from the case in their evidence locker DUCKY: I would assume so. I'll check. Why? GIBBS: Have Abby re-run the DNA. DUCKY: Right. I heard the Director asked you to speak at Pacci's memorial service. GIBBS: Yeah, I declined. DUCKY: Oh, Gibbs. GIBBS: I can't do it, Duck. I wouldn't feel right. I'll see you there. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT AMANDA: (V.O./FILTERED) Yes, but I don't understand why I need approval from the Historical Committee. (ON CAMERA/FILTERED) I just want to paint my front door and my window trim. TONY: No, no, no. Where'd you go? Where'd you go? AMANDA: (V.O./FILTERED) Yeah, all right. All right. You know what? I think this is a lot of nonsense. TONY: Don't put on a shirt. It's hot out. AMANDA: (FILTERED) I'm tired of fighting with you guys. (V.O.) Where do you want me to send the color samples? TONY: I'm falling in love. AMANDA: (V.O./FILTERED) Okay, I'll mail them today. TONY: Are you finished yet? MCGEE: Yeah. And all I've learned is she loves bananas and mangoes. Also uses every beauty product sold on cable TV. TONY: Maybe she's older than she looks. (SFX: AEROSOL SPRAY) TONY: How old do you think she is? MCGEE: I don't know. Thirties? (MUSIC OVER ACTION/CAMERA ON AMANDA) TONY: Oh, yeah. I need some fresh air. (TONY HURRIES O.S.) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. NCIS LAB - DAY DUCKY: Abigail. ABBY: Donald. You look very snappy today. DUCKY: I'm going to Christopher Pacci's memorial service. ABBY: Oh. DUCKY: I wanted to drop off these blood and tissue samples first. ABBY: Who's the unlucky donor? DUCKY: The victim of a car crash three years ago. ABBY: Lieutenant Commander Voss. DUCKY: Gibbs wants you to test the DNA. ABBY: Were the original results questionable? DUCKY: No, they were as positive as it gets and certified by a reputable lab. ABBY: So Gibbs wants me to retest it. DUCKY: That he does. ABBY: DNA does not lie, Duckman. DUCKY: Tell that to Gibbs. That's an unusual surveillance technique. ABBY: Well, DiNozzo is an unusual agent. McGee... (BEGIN RADIO INTERCUTS) (SCENE CUT) ABBY: (V.O./FILTERED) ...are you watching this? (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: Watching what? (SCENE CUT) ABBY: What the hell is DiNozzo up to? MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Well, he's not here. ABBY: No. He's across the street... (SCENE CUT) ABBY: (V.O./FILTERED) ...talking to the lady. (END RADIO INTERCUTS) [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. APARTMENT - VIDEO POV TONY: (ON MONITOR) I live down on Canal and I just... I've been trying to paint my door. And the Historical Society has given me nothing but grief. AMANDA: (ON MONITOR) I know. I just got off the phone with them. I just want to paint my door and my trim and they're making it virtually impossible. TONY: (ON MONITOR) That's total nonsense. AMANDA: (ON MONITOR) You know, those are my exact words. Hi, I'm Amanda. TONY: (ON MONITOR) Hi. I'm Stringfellow. AMANDA: (ON MONITOR) You're kidding, right? TONY: (ON MONITOR) Well, five generations of Stringfellows, you know, what do you do? (SCENE CUT) ABBY: Stringfellow? (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: It's so he won't forget it. (SCENE CUT) ABBY: You should. (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: Huh? (SCENE CUT) ABBY: Look, DiNozzo is your partner. In the world according to Gibbs, you share the blame if anything goes hinky. (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: Oh, geez. Okay. Ah... what do I do here, Abs? (SCENE CUT) ABBY: Don't volunteer anything. Only answer questions asked. And whatever you do, do not lie, because Gibbs is like Santa Claus. He knows if you've been naughty. (END INTERCUTS) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. APARTMENT - DAY (DOOR OPENS) TONY: How was the memorial service? KATE: The Director gave a nice eulogy. GIBBS: Did anything happen? MCGEE: Nope! Not a thing, boss. TONY: Very quiet. MCGEE: Very. GIBBS: Is that why you seem so anxious, Special Agent McGee? MCGEE: Me? KATE: What did you do to him? TONY: Nothing. KATE: This place looks too clean. (SFX: CELL PHONE RINGS) KATE: Excuse me. (INTO PHONE) Hi. GIBBS: Where is she now? TONY: Uh... in the back of the house. In the kitchen. GIBBS: Did you check her trash? MCGEE: Uh, yes, boss. And nothing unusual. GIBBS: Have it sent to Abby for prints. KATE: (INTO PHONE) I had a great time, too. Oh, I can't. I can't tonight, Dwayne. But I promise I'll make it up to you this weekend. I'll call you back. (SFX: HANGS UP PHONE) KATE: DiNozzo! TONY: Sounds like Dwayne's in love. KATE: Permission to shoot him? GIBBS: Mm-hmm. ABBY: (ON MONITOR) Hey Gibbs, are you there? GIBBS: Yeah, Abs. What's up? ABBY: (ON MONITOR) You rule! GIBBS: I know, but remind me why. ABBY: (ON MONITOR) For wanting the DNA retested. GIBBS: You can't have the results yet. ABBY: (ON MONITOR) Oh, no. I didn't run it. GIBBS: Abby! Damn it, I'm not in the mood! ABBY: (ON MONITOR) Chill, Gibbs. I didn't have to. The crispy critter from the crash is type O positive. Lieutenant Commander Voss AB negative. KATE: Voss is alive?! ABBY: (V.O.) Unless he's an alien with shifting blood types. MCGEE: He's alive with all those millions. TONY: Living la dolce vita. Lucky b*st*rd. GIBBS: Not for long. (MUSIC UP AND OUT) MUSIC IN: INT. CAR - MOVING KATE: Geo-tech Lab is your next right. I just thought you might... I don't know.. (MUSIC OVER ACTION) (SFX: CAR TIRES SCREECH) KATE: ...miss it. GIBBS: What I'm missing is talking to that tech who DNA certified that body was Lieutenant Commander Voss. KATE: Well, he's not listed, so maybe he no longer works at Geo-tech. GIBBS: Call him and ask. KATE: (INTO PHONE) Joshua Lurie, please. (TO GIBBS) Do you think they made a clerical error? GIBBS: Nope. KATE: People make mistakes, Gibbs. GIBBS: Like backseat driving? KATE: I'm in the front seat. (INTO PHONE) Ah yes, Joshua Lurie. When? GIBBS: He's dead. (SFX: CAR TIRES SCREECH) KATE: Two years ago in a car crash. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. APARTMENT - DAY MCGEE: Where did you come up with a name like Stringfellow? TONY: Airwolf. MCGEE: Never heard of it. TONY: You never watched Stakeout, never heard of Airwolf. What do you do on the weekends? And don't say party. MCGEE: I... I write. TONY: Write? MCGEE: Yeah, I try to write mysteries. TONY: (LAUGHS) That's funny. MCGEE: I never should have told you. TONY: No no no! No no no! It's good! That's good stuff! We're bonding. Hey uh... where do you get your ideas? MCGEE: Well, uh... cases like this one. Guy steals millions of dollars, makes it look like he's dead, has his girlfriend buy the old family home. TONY: Hmm. Isn't that plagiarism? MCGEE: I... I don't think so. TONY: I'd love to see the return address. I'm going to get a look at that package. (TONY RUSHES O.S.) TONY: No, no! Tony, I don't think that's a good idea! Tony! (DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES) [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. APARTMENT - DAY (MUSIC OVER ACTION/TONY RUNS TO THE FRONT STEPS) (DOOR OPENS) TONY: (ON MONITOR) Anti-aging cream. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. APARTMENT - DAY MCGEE: Tony, get out of there! Get out of there! [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. FRONT STEPS - DAY (DOOR OPENS) TONY: Hey. AMANDA: Stringfellow. TONY: Ha ha! You remembered my name. AMANDA: How could I forget it? What are you doing here? TONY: Ah well, I could... I could say that I'm your new mailman. AMANDA: Which I wouldn't believe. TONY: All right. How about uh... I just wanted to see you again. AMANDA: Do you like espresso? TONY: Oh yeah, I love espresso. AMANDA: Come on in. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. APARTMENT - DAY MCGEE: Oh, Tony. Don't do it. Come on. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY KATE: Oh, my god. I can't believe it. Hamilton Voss and Josh Lurie graduated from the same high school in the same year. GIBBS: That clinches it. Voss is alive. He faked his own death in an accident where his old schoolmate would make the DNA I.D. KATE: For which Voss killed him? GIBBS: Yeah, why not? Voss killed whoever really burned in that car crash. Murdered Chris when he found out he was tailing him. He caught Chris tailing him. Maybe he's on to us. (TELEPHONE BEEP TONES) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. APARTMENT - DAY TONY: (ON MONITOR) Anyway, we made it into the final four. I was playing for Ohio State. We got beat by UCLA. (SFX: PHONE RINGS B.G.) MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) Special Agent McGee. (BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Put DiNozzo on. (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) Ah... uh, he can't come to the... (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) ....phone right now, boss. GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Where is he, in the head? (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) He's across the street in the... (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) ... townhouse with her. GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Well what the hell is he doing there, McGee? (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) I...I really couldn't explain. (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: Have Abby patch the video feed from the stakeout up here. (INTO PHONE) McGee, you listen to me. Voss is out there somewhere watching us watch Amanda. (MUSIC OVER ACTION/CAMERA PANS AROUND THE STREET) AMANDA: (ON MONITOR) Do you like Paddy's? TONY: (FILTERED) Hamburger or turkey? AMANDA: (FILTERED) No, Paddy's pub around the corner. TONY: (ON MONITOR) Oh, I thought you were offering me something to eat. AMANDA: (FILTERED) I am offering you something to eat. Corned beef and beer, huh? TONY: (FILTERED) I love corned beef and beer. AMANDA: (ON MONITOR) Great. Let me go change into something else, Stringfellow. TONY: (ON MONITOR) Okay. KATE: Stringfellow? TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) I'm going to wait outside. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. APARTMENT - DAY (TONY RUNS ACROSS THE STREET) (SFX: HORN HONKS B.G.) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. APARTMENT - DAY (DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES) TONY: Did you get that? Paddy's Pub. (WHISPERS) Gibbs? MCGEE: Yeah. TONY: (WHISPERS) They're watching me? (INTO PHONE) Hey boss. (BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) DiNozzo, what the hell are you doing? (SCENE CUT) TONY: (INTO PHONE) I had an opening. It was a clear field. I had to go for it. (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Good. (SCENE CUT) TONY: (INTO PHONE) Good? GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) Yeah. (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Good, Tony. You're the bait, okay? Voss is out there somewhere watching you like he watched Chris. (SCENE CUT) TONY: (INTO PHONE) Like he watched Chris? GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) Enjoy your date... (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) ...and stay out of elevators. (END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) GIBBS: Let's go. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. APARTMENT - DAY TONY: Okay, cover my back. MCGEE: Got it. Tony! Uh...how do I... how do I take the safety off? TONY: You take --! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY (ABBY AND GIBBS COLLIDE) GIBBS: In a rush, Abby? ABBY: I ran the prints from Amanda Reed's garbage. (GIBBS JERKS HER INTO THE ELEVATOR) ABBY: What the hell is wrong with you two? KATE: Tony made contact with Amanda. They're going to a pub. And Commander Voss is probably stalking Tony. ABBY: Oh, really. KATE: That's not funny. He probably killed Pacci. ABBY: Amanda murdered Pacci. GIBBS: Amanda. ABBY: Okay, I take it back. Commander Voss did it. GIBBS: Abby! ABBY: She's my daughter. My sister. My daughter. My sister. My daughter. Every print that I pulled off all those cosmetic jars you gave me come from one person. GIBBS: Amanda Reed. ABBY: Yes and no. GIBBS: Abby. ABBY: They belong to Lieutenant Commander Voss. Amanda is Voss! GIBBS: She's a he? ABBY: Yes! KATE: Oh my god! Tony's on a date with a guy. ABBY: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. PADDY'S PUB - DAY AMANDA: Oh, Stringfellow. You know you have beautiful eyes. TONY: (CHUCKLES) Call me String. AMANDA: You've got a great smile too. (SFX: PHONE RINGS) TONY: It's my boss. AMANDA: Work hours are over. It's time to play. TONY: Yeah, but I've got to take this because I've....got to take the call...from my boss. I....can always call him back later. (SFX: PASSIONATE KISSING) (CAMERA ANGLE ON MCGEE) MCGEE: Excuse me. A coke, please. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. CAR - MOVING GIBBS: He's not answering. KATE: Maybe he can't. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. PADDY'S PUB - DAY WAITRESS: Here you go. AMANDA: I'm going to go wash my hands before we eat. I'll be right back. TONY: Okay. AMANDA: Don't leave. TONY: Okay. (AMANDA WALKS O.S.) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. CAR - MOVING GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Why didn't you answer the phone? (BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) (SCENE CUT) TONY: (INTO PHONE) I couldn't. (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Where's Amanda? TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) Ladies room. GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Swell, we can add that misdemeanor... (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) ...to the murder charges. TONY: (INTO PHONE) What? (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Amanda is Lieutenant Commander Voss, DiNozzo. TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) Stop it. Come on. GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) She's a he... (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED)...bonehead. And if he is packing a three fifty seven and a knife in his purse, he killed Chris. (END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) AMANDA: Oh, I am famished. Aren't you hungry? TONY: I lost my appetite. AMANDA: Hmm. What's wrong? TONY: I don't know where to begin. AMANDA: Is this the same man I left sitting here a few minutes ago? TONY: I don't know. Are you the same woman? AMANDA: Oh, yes...I... TONY: Open your purse.(SFX: GUNSHOT) (MUSIC OVER ACTION/ AMANDA LEAPS FROM THE TABLE SHOUTING) MCGEE: (SHOUTS) Federal agent! Move! (SFX: MEN ALL FIGHT/TABLES CRASHING) TONY: (SHOUTS) Stop him! Stop him! MCGEE: (SHOUTS) No, stop her! (AMANDA RUNS INTO GIBBS) GIBBS: His name was Special Agent Chris Pacci. And he was a friend. (MUSIC UP) (SFX: GUNSHOT) (AMANDA FALLS TO THE GROUND) KATE: Federal agents! So are those two! Let them go! MCGEE: Let me go. KATE: He didn't have a chance. Why'd he try? MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. SQUAD ROOM - NIGHT KATE: Why are you going through everything before you box it? GIBBS: Force of habit. I don't want his family getting an unpleasant surprise. ABBY: That reminds me of The Crying Game. MCGEE: Don't know it. ABBY: It was such a cool flick. TONY: Abby, could you pick some other movie, please? ABBY: Oh, um... Victor, Victoria. TONY: That was a girl, pretending to be a guy, pretending to be a girl. ABBY: Right. TONY: Yeah, that one's okay. MCGEE: You gotta hand it to Commander Voss. In three years he hid in plain sight as a woman. KATE: Well, he wasn't a woman yet. The surgery was scheduled for next month in Bangkok. ABBY: Getting your plumbing turned outside in is so.... TONY: Hinky? ABBY: No, no. Way beyond hinky. It's.... KATE: Speaking of way beyond hinky, Tony. TONY: Okay. All right, give it to me, Kate. I can take it. KATE: What was it like... tonguing a guy? TONY: Forget it. I can't take it. (CUT TO BLACK)

Special Agent Chris Pacci is brutally murdered while investigating a cold case, prompting a guilt-ridden Gibbs to step in and take over the case while attempting to find Pacci's killer. Picking up from where Pacci left off with McGee's assistance, the team follows the trail of millions of dollars embezzled by Navy Lt. Cmdr. Hamilton Voss (who died before trial), and is led to a mysterious woman named Amanda Reed ( Jamie Luner ) who seems to appear near wherever Voss has been stationed. The agents take shifts conducting a stake-out on the woman's house, until Tony is caught raiding the mailbox. Forced to improvise, he introduces himself as a resident of the neighborhood and strikes up a conversation based on what he had heard via surveillance. This gives him a chance to get close to the suspect in order to find out more, as he goes on a successful date with her. Meanwhile, Abby makes a shocking discovery which turns the direction of the case and will give Kate something to mock Tony about for time to come.

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EXT. DOCK - NIGHT GIBBS: (V.O.) Previously on NCIS.(BEGIN FLASHBACK SCENES) (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: Galib, has Abu infiltrated SeaLift? GALIB: They're about to. A radioman, Pinpin Pula is Abu Sayyaf. GIBBS: He plans to blow the Capefear. This will be as bad as Nine Eleven. (SFX: HUGE EXPLOSION) (SCENE CUT) GELFAND: So you didn't know him when he was wounded in Desert Storm? SHEPARD: No. GELFAND: He seems to be repeating that drama, the coma that he doesn't want to wake up from. (SCENE CUT) STEVENS: (ON MONITOR) If Galib had intel on Abu's plans, did he have time to tell Gibbs? TONY: Maybe. They were together when the bomb went off. STEVENS: (ON MONITOR) Let's hope Gibbs comes out of this coma in time. (SCENE CUT) DUCKY: Well, Jethro doesn't talk much about the past. I know very little about his life before we met. (INTERCUT MONGATE OF FLASHBACK SCENES OF GIBBS/ FAMILY/ KILLING) DUCKY: Welcome back, Jethro. GELFAND: You were in an explosion. GIBBS: I remember. I don't know him. (MUSIC UP AND OUT) (THEME MUSIC UP OVER OPENING TITLE/SCENES/ CREDITS AND OUT) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. ICU ROOM - DAY GELFAND: You don't know Doctor Mallard? DUCKY: Ducky. GELFAND: Ducky. Do you know Ducky? DUCKY: I'm disappointed, Jethro. The last time someone forgot me I was a baby. My mother left me on the ferry from Orkney to John O'Groats. She was on the bus halfway to Thurso before she missed me. I've often wondered if I inspired the Liechtenstein t-shirt. GELFAND: "Oh, god! I left the baby on the bus." DUCKY: Quite. Remember my telling you that, Jethro? GIBBS: I remember the t-shirt. DUCKY: But not me. GIBBS: No. DUCKY: No worries. It'll come. GELFAND: Absolutely. Temporary memory loss is to be expected. Don't let it worry you. Are you breathing comfortably? Good. Let's switch to the nasal cannula, Maria. BALIAD: Okay. GELFAND: You're doing fine. BALIAD: Okay, I'm just going to take this off. GELFAND: Most traumatized brain injuries produce short-term retrograde amnesia. But to erase years of memory, his medial temporal lobes or hippocampus should be damaged. DUCKY: No, his CAT scans and EEG are normal. GELFAND: And he remembers the explosion. And I've never had a retrograde amnesia patient remember the trauma. Never. BALIAD: Okay, there you go. GELFAND: I don't think it's retrograde amnesia. I think it's disassociative. DUCKY: An emotional repression of memory? GELFAND: With no physical damage to the brain, it must be psychological. DUCKY: No... GELFAND: But Doctor, you said Gibbs hasn't spoken of his past. DUCKY: Hardly ever. GELFAND: Perhaps it's too painful. It could explain the prolonged coma in Ninety-one. DUCKY: But the present coma is the result of an explosion. How could it be psychological? GELFAND: What if the latest coma caused a relapse? (TO GIBBS) So how are we doing? GIBBS: Confused. GELFAND: Let's see if we can clear up some of those cobwebs. You remember the explosion? GIBBS: Yes. GELFAND: Where were you when it happened? GIBBS: Kuwait. SHEPARD: (V.O.) I have good news. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY SHEPARD: Gibbs has regained consciousness. ABBY: Yay! That's great! SHEPARD: However, there's also a problem. He has some memory loss. ABBY: Retrogressive amnesia is totally normal after severe trauma. TONY: Happens every time the boss smacks me on the back of the head. MCGEE: Well, you know, I had amnesia after my car crash. TONY: Your bumper car get T-boned at Legoland, Probie? MCGEE: No, Tony. I told you about when I totaled my Camaro when I was sixteen. That day is still a blank to me. SHEPARD: Well, Gibbs' blank is the last fifteen years. To him, it's nineteen ninety one and he's a Marine Gunny Sergeant wounded in Desert Storm. ZIVA: He doesn't know he's an NCIS Special Agent? SHEPARD: I doubt it. He didn't recognize Ducky. ABBY: Well, if he doesn't know who Ducky is, then there's no... TONY: He'll never remember us. SHEPARD: I am sure it's a temporary condition. In the meantime, we have an Abu Sayyaf terrorist to apprehend. I really don't know anything more, Abby. ABBY: Can I go visit him? SHEPARD: Not just yet. His neurologist, Captain Gelfand, will let us know when he's up to it. ABBY: Can I... I run to the restroom? I'll come right back. SHEPARD: If anyone else needs a potty break, now is the time to do it. We'll meet at seventeen ten. (SHEPARD WALKS O.S.) ZIVA: You know what that means? TONY: The Director's taking over the investigation. ZIVA: Probably. But I was thinking if Gibbs doesn't remember the last fifteen years, he'll be a probie. TONY: Gibbs would never let her take over. ZIVA: Not the old Gibbs. Probie Gibbs. (TONY RUNS UP THE STAIRS) TONY: Director Shepard? SHEPARD: Yes, DiNozzo. TONY: I want you to understand that in Gibbs absence, as the team's senior Special Agent, this investigation is mine. SHEPARD: Is it? TONY: Yes, it is, ma'am. SHEPARD: And if I were to dispute that assumption? TONY: Then you would be a fool. And you are no fool, Director. This will be a long, tough, investigation. You're overloaded as it is, and no one knows this team better than me.... except for the boss. SHEPARD: Which evidently isn't me. TONY: I was speaking, of course, of the team boss; Gibbs. You are the Agency boss. SHEPARD: Not if you keep telling me what I can and cannot do. TONY: I would never do that, Ma'am. SHEPARD: Then what is it that you're saying? TONY: You take care of the big picture, and let me handle the two-reeler. SHEPARD: I always intended to, Tony. TONY: Then... why did you make me say all that just now? SHEPARD: I just wanted to see if you had as much guts as Gibbs. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. ICU ROOM - DAY GELFAND: What's the first thing you remember after the explosion? (INTERCUT MONTAGE OF FLASHBACK SCENES) SHEPARD: (V.O.) Did you know when Jethro was married that he had a daughter? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SHEPARD'S OFFICE - DAY DUCKY: No, that's not possible. I know all three of Jethro's ex-wives. They had no children.(DOOR CLOSES) SHEPARD: With his first wife, Shannon, he did. They married in eighty-two, and had a daughter, Kelly, who was born in eighty four. DUCKY: I can't believe it. SHEPARD: There's more. They were murdered when Jethro was fighting in Desert Storm. Shannon witnessed the shooting of a Marine in Oceanside. She identified the killer as Pedro Hernandez, a Mexican drug dealer working Camp Pendleton. An NIS Agent was assigned to protect her. A sniper shot him in the head while he was driving their van. He died instantly. Shannon and Jethro's eight year old daughter Kelly were killed in the crash. DUCKY: That is so awful. SHEPARD: Kelly looked a lot like Jethro, didn't she? DUCKY: Yes, a bit. She's a beautiful child. SHEPARD: Very. So was Shannon. Jethro always did like redheads. DUCKY: Was Hernandez ever caught? SHEPARD: No. He fled to Mexico. NIS tried to extradite, but the Mexican authorities always claimed they couldn't find him. It's in our cold case files. DUCKY: Oh, you can close it. SHEPARD: What do you know? DUCKY: Jethro would have pursued the killer of his wife and daughter to hell and back. Jethro got his revenge. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY TONY: After conducting the autopsy, Ducky is virtually certain Abog Galib was inside the oil drum when the explosive detonated. MCGEE: Why would he be in a laundry oil drum? ABBY: Maybe he was looking for his laundry? TONY: This is serious, Abby. ZIVA: Oh! Listen to the pot call the kettle black. Got that right, didn't I? TONY: No. ZIVA: Yes! TONY: Probie, why was Galib in that oil drum? MCGEE: He was hiding. ABBY: From who? Gibbs? TONY: Maybe. He ran from Gibbs, even though the plan was that he was supposed to get arrested in front of the crew. ZIVA: Another question. How did Pinpin Pula know Gibbs and Galib would be in the ship's laundry? ABBY: Right! Because they would have had to put the bomb inside the oil drum before they got there. MCGEE: Gibbs knows. TONY: Gibbs also thinks the Giants just won the Super Bowl and Dances With Wolves is an Academy Award nominee. ABBY: I loved that movie. ZIVA: Me, too. Those Native Americans were so macho in their-- TONY: (SHOUTS) Enough! Abby, I want a reenactment of the explosion, okay? Using crime scene photos, measurements, Ducky's autopsy-- ABBY: (OVERLAP) Ducky's autopsy findings? I know how to do a computer reenactment, Tony. TONY: Ziva, what did you get out of the cook? What's his name? ZIVA: Alon Atu. From the same Filipino village in Basilan as Pinpin. He's hardcore Abu Sayyaf. He won't talk unless I-- TONY: No torture. ZIVA: He won't talk. TONY: Try. ZIVA: Okay. But you're tying my feet. TONY: Hands. ZIVA: Those, too. TONY: McGee, Pinpin's photo get added to the BOLO? MCGEE: Yes, Tony. TONY: SeaLift Command get it? MCGEE: They are faxing it to all hundred and ten ships. There's no way that he's going to infiltrate SeaLift. TONY: He blew up Galib and put Gibbs in a coma. Rule Number Three. Never underestimate your opponent. MCGEE: No, actually Rule Number Three.... TONY: DiNozzo's Rule Numero Tre, Probie. MCGEE: Gotcha. Never underestimate your opponent. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. RADIO ROOM - DAY (SFX: FAX) (SFX: PAPER SHREDDER) [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. SHIP DECK - DAY SEAMAN: Hey, Galib. (MUSIC UP AND OUT) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. ICU ROOM - NIGHT GELFAND: (V.O.) He's trying to catch up on fifteen years by watching TV.(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) (SCENE CUT) SHEPARD: (INTO PHONE) Jethro hates television. (SCENE CUT) GELFAND: (INTO PHONE) He can't believe we're still fighting in Iraq. SHEPARD: (V.O./FILTERED) He's not alone (SCENE CUT) SHEPARD: (INTO PHONE) Does he remember being an NCIS Special Agent? (SCENE CUT) GELFAND: (INTO PHONE) No. Doctor Mallard's still a stranger to him. (SCENE CUT) SHEPARD: (INTO PHONE) He won't know me, then. Ducky worked with him years before I did. GELFAND: (V.O./FILTERED) Well, who an amnesiac remembers.... (SCENE CUT) GELFAND: (INTO PHONE) .... depends on their prior relationship. Have you found any Marines he served with in Desert Storm? (SCENE CUT) SHEPARD: (INTO PHONE) Two, so far. One's dead. The other's a Regimental Commander in Iraq. (SCENE CUT) GELFAND: (INTO PHONE) Well, Gibbs recalls visiting his wife and daughter's graves. So his memory is up to at least June of ninety-one when he was released from Bethesda. (SCENE CUT) SHEPARD: (INTO PHONE) He joined NIS that August. GELFAND: (V.O./FILTERED) How about somebody he knew at NIS? SHEPARD: (INTO PHONE) Um... Special Agent Michael Franks headed the murder investigation. I'll start with him. Thanks, Todd. (SCENE CUT) GELFAND: (INTO PHONE) When are you coming back to see him? SHEPARD: (V.O./FILTERED) Tomorrow. GELFAND: (INTO PHONE) I'll be here.(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. HOSPITAL BATHROOM - DAY (MUSIC OVER ACTION/GIBBS SHAVES HIS HAIR) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SHEPARD'S OFFICE - NIGHT CYNTHIA: Special Agent Franks retired in ninety-six. He left no forwarding address or phone number. SHEPARD: Yes, he did. CYNTHIA: He did? SHEPARD: Find out where OPM mails his retirement checks. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. BEACH - DAY CAMILA: Hola, Miguel! MIKE FRANKS: Hola, mi bonita! CAMILA: (IN SPANISH) How did you live to be such an old man? MIKE FRANKS: (IN SPANISH) Old man!? Come inside. I'll show you how old I am. CAMILA: (IN SPANISH) You cannot afford me. MIKE FRANKS: I just got paid. CAMILA: Ah, then you can pay me for the groceries. You owe me three hundred and twenty pesos. (SFX: TELEPHONE BEEP TONES/ RINGING) CAMILA: Ah! Your hand is greasy. MIKE FRANKS: (CHUCKLES) Who you calling? OPERATOR: (V.O./FILTERED) Operator. CAMILA: (INTO PHONE) I don't know. OPERATOR: (V.O./FILTERED) How may I help you? CAMILA: (INTO PHONE) Collect call from Senor Miguel Franks. OPERATOR: (V.O./FILTERED) One moment. CAMILA: They called you at the cantina. MIKE FRANKS: Who called me? (INTO PHONE) Who the hell is this? (BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) (SCENE CUT) CYNTHIA: (INTO PHONE) Director Shepard's assistant, Mister Franks. (SCENE CUT) MIKE FRANKS: (INTO PHONE) Director of what? CYNTHIA: (V.O./FILTERED) NCIS, Sir. MIKE FRANKS: (TO CAMILA) Why the hell didn't you ask me? CAMILA: They said it was muy importante. What is the problema? It's free. (CAMILA CURSES IN SPANISH B.G.) MIKE FRANKS: (INTO PHONE) Speak! (SCENE CUT) CYNTHIA: (INTO PHONE) One moment. I'll connect you. (SCENE CUT) SHEPARD: (INTO PHONE) Mister Franks? (SCENE CUT) MIKE FRANKS: (INTO PHONE) How many damn assistants does the Director have? (SCENE CUT) SHEPARD: (INTO PHONE) Just one. (SCENE CUT) MIKE FRANKS: (INTO PHONE) Then who the hell are you? (SCENE CUT) SHEPARD: (INTO PHONE) Director Shepard of NCIS. (SCENE CUT) (MIKE FRANKS LAUGHS/COUGHS) MIKE FRANKS: (INTO PHONE) Charlene, is this you? (SCENE CUT) SHEPARD: (INTO PHONE) No. My name is Jenny Shepard and I am Director of NCIS. (SCENE CUT) MIKE FRANKS: (INTO PHONE) Thank the Lord. SHEPARD: (V.O./FILTERED) That mean you approve? MIKE FRANKS: (INTO PHONE) Means all my thoughts that early retirement was a mistake, just proved themselves wrong. (SCENE CUT) SHEPARD: (INTO PHONE) I didn't call you to discuss your opinions of a female Director. (SCENE CUT) MIKE FRANKS: (INTO PHONE) Didn't think you did. (SCENE CUT) SHEPARD: (INTO PHONE) I need your help.... Special Agent Franks. (SCENE CUT) MIKE FRANKS: (INTO PHONE) Ain't been that for eleven years. Good bye, Director. (SCENE CUT) SHEPARD: (INTO PHONE) Leroy Jethro Gibbs. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LAB - DAY ABBY: Can you imagine how scary that would be to lose the last fifteen years of your life? MCGEE: Oh, my God. ABBY: What? MCGEE: I'd still be in high school. ABBY: Oh, yuck! Zits. Braces. Raging hormones. MCGEE: Yeah. I used to walk around all day with my notebook in front of my.... ABBY: In front of your what, McGee? MCGEE: The laundry room is off. It should actually be three point nine six two meters wide. Not two six. ABBY: Better? MCGEE: Yeah. It's got to be accurate. ABBY: Absolutely. So was it one of those tiny spiral notebooks or one of those big three ring binder things, Timmy? MCGEE: And where were you fifteen years ago, Abby? ABBY: So where did you find Gibbs? MCGEE: Afraid I'm going to find out - what was that for? ABBY: Distracting me. MCGEE: I was not distracting you. ABBY: Gibbs. MCGEE: Between the dryer and the bulkhead. A little closer to the bulkhead. The autopsy report indicates that Galib was sitting on the bomb. ABBY: Which consisted of one hundred and thirteen grams of Semtex. MCGEE: Wow! You can compute the amount of Semtex used that accurately? ABBY: I am a scientist, McGee. I can compute anything accurately, including the size of the notebook required to... MCGEE: Stop! Can you detonate the bomb, please?(SFX: SIMULATED BOMB EXPLODES) ABBY: Sorry. I forgot to tell you I added sound. MCGEE: Yeah. Uh... can we try that again without sound? ABBY: Yeah, it was a little loud, huh? MCGEE: Yeah. And let's go frame-by-frame so we can see what happened. ABBY: Of course. In the first microsecond, less than the time it takes for you to blink your eye, the bottom of the barrel and Galib's lower body are atomized. The oil drum is disintegrating, but retains enough integrity to blow what remains of Galib into the overhead. In the following microseconds, the oil drum disintegrates. Galib is impacted into the overhead and Gibbs... is... dead! MCGEE: (OVERLAP) Dead. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY MCGEE: If Gibbs had been standing when the bomb detonated, he'd have been blasted into the bulkhead and shredded by shrapnel. ABBY: Gibbs had to duck for cover before the bomb went off. TONY: He knew! ABBY: Yeah. ZIVA: What's wrong with this picture? ABBY: Nothing. McGee and I triple checked all the numbers to make sure that... ZIVA: Not your picture. Did I make another idiomatic mistake? TONY: No. You mean something's wrong with what we know. ZIVA: ZIVA: Exactly. We know Galib ran. We know Gibbs pursued him. We know they were in the ship's laundry. We know Galib sat on a bomb inside the oil drum. And thanks to Abby and McGee, we know Gibbs knew that a bomb was about to explode. Oh, and we know Pinpin, a missing crewman on the Kamir Bakir, is an Abu Sayyaf terrorist. (CONT.) Probably the one who planted and detonated the bomb. TONY: You left out Pinpin Pula means "rice patty dyke." But other than that, damn good summation, Ziva. ZIVA: Thank you. TONY: So, as Ziva said, what is wrong with this picture? MCGEE: Gibbs knows. But he doesn't remember. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY SHEPARD: Jethro? GIBBS: Shannon? SHEPARD: No, Jethro. It's me, Jenny. You still don't remember me? (INTERCUT FLASHBACK SCENES) GIBBS: Maybe. SHEPARD: I'm Jenny. We were partners. GIBBS: After Shannon died. SHEPARD: Yes! GIBBS: Did I marry again? SHEPARD: Three times. GIBBS: (LAUGHS LIGHTLY) No way! SHEPARD: Afraid so. GIBBS: Oh, you're an ex-wife? SHEPARD: Oh, God no. I'm the Director of NCIS. GIBBS: For a moment I thought you were somebody else. SHEPARD: You remembered us making love, didn't you, Jethro? (LONG BEAT) At least that's a start. Do you recognize this man? (INTERCUT MONTAGE OF FLASHBACK SCENES) GIBBS: (LONG BEAT) It's like ... a name on the tip of my tongue and I can't remember! SHEPARD: Calm down. It'll come. GIBBS: It's important, isn't it?! SHEPARD: Yes. Very. GIBBS: It's life or death, right?! SHEPARD: Don't get upset, Jethro. You won't remember. GIBBS: Give me a name! SHEPARD: Pinpin Pula. GIBBS: That's not his name. That can't be his name. SHEPARD: Are you sure? GIBBS: (SHOUTS) No! I'm not sure! I don't remember! How can I be sure?! GELFAND: What's happening? SHEPARD: I'm sorry. It's my fault. GELFAND: (OVERLAP) Maria, give him ten milligrams of morphine. Agent Gibbs, your blood pressure is spiking... GIBBS: (OVERLAP) I'm not Agent Gibbs! I don't know Agent Gibbs! I don't want to know Agent Gibbs! I want my family. I want Shannon. I want...Kelly. I miss them. I miss them so much. Oh, no.... (MUSIC OUT) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY BALIAD: Normally we'd move you to a regular room, but for once the hospital is full up, and ICU isn't. Having the sound off isn't going to help your memory. GIBBS: Nothing new. Same war. Same crime. Same politics. BALIAD: Aren't you surprised "The Terminator" is the Governor of California? GIBBS: No. The Gipper was President. BALIAD: I'll be right back with your dinner. GIBBS: And none of that baby food, okay?! A steak. Rare would be nice. And french fries, please? BALIAD: Maybe tomorrow. GIBBS: Tomorrow I won't be here. MIKE FRANKS: (V.O.) Hello, Probie. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. STREET - FLASHBACK MIKE FRANKS: My brother and I married the same woman twice. GIBBS: Twice! MIKE FRANKS: She was a hell of a woman, Probie. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY GIBBS: Hey, Boss. MIKE FRANKS: Damn, you got old, Marine. GIBBS: Have you looked in the mirror lately? MIKE FRANKS: If you hadn't been in a coma... GIBBS: They're dead, Mike. Shannon and Kelly, they're both dead. MIKE FRANKS: I know, Jethro. GIBBS: It can't have been fifteen years. Can it? God, feels like I just got the news in Kuwait a couple of months ago. (LONG BEAT) You investigated Shannon's murder. That's how I met you. Camp Pendleton. You were the Special Agent in charge. Yeah. I became an agent because of you. You left the sniper folder on your desk so I could... (SFX: MIKE FRANKS CLEARS HIS THROAT) GIBBS: So I could join NIS. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. NIS OFFICE - FLASHBACK (INTERCUT MONTAGE OF FLASHBACK SCENES) GIBBS: I like the blue better, Boss. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY GIBBS: NCIS. The Navy changed the name that same year. Nineteen... ninety? Ninety... MIKE FRANKS: Two. GIBBS: We investigated crime scenes. MIKE FRANKS: I investigated crime scenes. You schlepped. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. STREET - FLASHBACK MIKE FRANKS: In 'Nam I packed twice what you're carrying through monsoon mud with Charlie shooting at my ass and still went faster than you! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY GIBBS: You taught me how to be an agent. MIKE FRANKS: Nah. I didn't teach. You observed. [SCENE_BREAK] MONTAGE OF FLASHBACK SCENES (MUFFLED NEWSCASTER OVER MONTAGE OF BOMBING FLASHBACK SCENES) MIKE FRANKS: Semper fi. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY GIBBS: Khobar Towers. You warned them about Bin Laden. They didn't listen. And you quit. MIKE FRANKS: I didn't quit. I retired. GIBBS: You were pissed that they wouldn't listen, Mike. Pissed that all Clinton did was lob a couple of cruise missiles at Al Qaeda camps in Afghanistan. You quit, Mike. MIKE FRANKS: I didn't get calluses on my ass flying from Mexico to argue, Jethro. GIBBS: Okay. You're right. I'm sorry. MIKE FRANKS: Never say you're sorry. It's a sign of weakness. GIBBS: Why are you here, Mike? MIKE FRANKS: Your Director called me in. What's with the female NCIS Director crap? GIBBS: I don't know. I only remember Jenny as a... MIKE FRANKS: Jenny? GIBBS: Yeah. Jenny. She said she was my partner. MIKE FRANKS: What kind of partner? BALIAD: (V.O.)You can't smoke in here! MIKE FRANKS: I... forgot I was in a hospital. BALIAD: It's against the law to smoke in any public building. MIKE FRANKS: You're kidding! Another good reason to live in Mexico. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY JIMMY: You were right, Doctor Mallard. DUCKY: For once? JIMMY: No, Doctor. You... DUCKY: What am I right about this time? JIMMY: Galib and the oil drum. Abby's computer recreation looks exactly like he's been shot from a cannon. DUCKY: Oh, it's a risky occupation even without explosives. JIMMY: They don't use explosives to shoot people out of cannons? DUCKY: A man of your age and education? Really, Mister Palmer. JIMMY: I know that they don't use high explosives. I thought maybe... black powder. DUCKY: Compressed air or spring-driven catapults shoot our intrepid cannonballer into the air. David.... "Cannonball" Smith set the record. Yes, he even was fired across the Mexican United States border. He carried a passport, although today one wonders why. It's a sad fact that sixty percent of all human cannonballs are eventually killed. JIMMY: Oh, if they don't use explosives, then why do so many of them die? DUCKY: They miss the net, Mister Palmer! (LAUGHS) They miss the - oh, my! JIMMY: What is it, Doctor? DUCKY: Galib wasn't sitting in the oil drum. He was stuffed in it! Look. (PASSAGE OF TIME) TONY: (V.O.)The neck bone's cut. DUCKY: Cervical vertebrae was cut very deeply. You were slashed from ear to ear, weren't you? TONY: A machete or a bolo knife. DUCKY: Yes, I believe the Filipinos call it a parang. MCGEE: Whatever they're called, it answers one of our questions. ZIVA: And poses a new one. If Galib was dead... TONY: Who did Gibbs follow into the laundry? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. CORRIDOR - DAY TOLLIVER: Clear!(SFX: STEADY BEEP TONE) NURSE: Clear! (SFX: ELECTRIC CHARGE) (SFX: BEEP TONES) TOLLIVER: We've got a pulse. Give him a mil of atropine. NURSE: Got him at eighty two over fifty eight. TOLLIVER: Getting better, ladies. Blood pressure is coming up. Death is not my jam. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY BALIAD: You haven't touched your dinner, Special Agent Gibbs. (KNOCK ON DOOR) BALIAD: No steak tomorrow if you don't eat your Jell-O today. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. PICNIC TABLE - DAY GIBBS: You got your knife, Mike? MIKE FRANKS: Security took it at the airport. GIBBS: Was it more than three inches long? MIKE FRANKS: They changed that rule after Nine Eleven. GIBBS: Nine Eleven? MIKE FRANKS: September eleventh of two thousand and one. GIBBS: Hey, Boss. It's ninety six and you just ... retired. Damn this is good. I owe you. Had to be a hijacking, huh? They never change security until it's too late. MIKE FRANKS: (LONG BEAT) Al Qaeda hijacked four airliners. Two hit the World Trade Center. One the Pentagon. Fourth was to take out the White House. Some gutsy passengers fought them. They went down in Pennsylvania. The Twin Towers are gone. Pentagon's fixed. Three thousand some dead. Nearly as many wounded. (SFX: GIBBS VOMITS) NURSE: (V.O.) Sir, are you all right? MIKE FRANKS: He's okay. Got some bad news. GIBBS: That nurse was right. I'm not ready for a steak. Well, tell me we did more than toss a couple of cruise missiles. MIKE FRANKS: We did more. GIBBS: Bin Laden? MIKE FRANKS: I don't know. GIBBS: How the hell can you not know? MIKE FRANKS: Remember that beach in Baja we fished? GIBBS: Yeah. South of El Rosario. MIKE FRANKS: I built a little place there. No TV, no radio, no newspapers. I fish. I drink beer. Listen to old eight track tapes. Drive to a cantina up the coast when I want company... when the pickup's running. This is the first time I've been to El Norte in ten years. Don't ask me for a sitrep, Jethro. I don't know. GIBBS: You don't want to know. MIKE FRANKS: That's right. I don't want to know. GIBBS: You feel guilty because you quit. If you hadn't quit... maybe you're the one that stops it. MIKE FRANKS: You didn't quit. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. STORAGE HOLD - NIGHT (MUSIC OVER ACTION/GALIB SETS THE BOMB DETONATOR) CREW MEMBER: Hey, Galib. What are you up to? GALIB: Ah, stretching my legs. It's too windy on deck. CREW MEMBER: Hey, why don't you join the poker game tonight? You never leave that damn radio room. GALIB: Ah, I talk to ham radio operators at night. CREW MEMBER: And you'd rather do that than play poker? GALIB: They're all girls. CREW MEMBER: Right. (MUSIC UP AND OUT) MUSIC IN: INT. INTERROGATION ROOM ZIVA: You insist this is Pinpin Pula. MAHIR: Insist. Yes. I like this word. I insist this is Pinpin. ZIVA: I don't believe you. MAHIR: Why would I lie to you when you threaten to kill me? ZIVA: It is not a threat. I will kill you if you lie, Captain. MAHIR: I believe you. ZIVA: I'm the one who has doubts. MAHIR: It is Pinpin. I swear. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. OBSERVATION ROOM MCGEE: That's not loaded, is it? TONY: Would Gibbs allow Ziva to carry a loaded weapon in there? MCGEE: No. TONY: And I'm not Gibbs, right? ZIVA: (V.O.) So Captain.... [SCENE_BREAK] INT. INTERROGATION ROOM ZIVA: You're positive? MAHIR: I am positive. Absolutely positive! How many times do I have to tell you?! ZIVA: Once more. Take a good look. MAHIR: I don't need to look! The man was on my ship for months! It's Pinpin Pula. ZIVA: Was it Abu Sayyaf? MAHIR: Yes! It was Abu Sayyaf. ZIVA: Who ran from customs? MAHIR: Yes! Yes! He ran when your guy-- ZIVA: You knew it was Pinpin not Galib at the custom's gate. MAHIR: (IN TURKISH) Allah help me! (IN ENGLISH) Yes, I knew. I knew. They paid me. I was quiet. They paid me to be quiet! But... Pinpin never told me there was a bomb! I never knew that! I never knew - ah!!! Oh.... [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - NIGHT SHEPARD: That's the NCIS I.D. photo of Special Agent Abog Galib that I showed Gibbs. What's your point, DiNozzo? TONY: A scary one, Director. Captain Mahir admitted to Ziva that Pinpin passed himself off as Galib at the custom's check. SHEPARD: And Gibbs would have expected Galib to change his appearance going undercover. Growing his hair, maybe a mustache. Dirty himself up. So when Pinpin handed him Galib's passport it was good enough. ZIVA: To pass the mustard. MCGEE: Muster, not mustard. SHEPARD: Galib's documents are vetted to get him on any crew in the world. TONY: Including the Cape Fear or Cape Horn. ZIVA: We sent a second BOLO with Pinpin's photo. Both ships confirmed he was not onboard. TONY: Send it again AKA Abog Galib. Get me the crew rosters from Sealift Command. MCGEE: On it. SHEPARD: DiNozzo, call MTAC. I want the NSO, Pentagon, FBI, CIA - hell, everyone on ASAP! TONY: My gut tells me we're missing something. ZIVA: Gibbs. TONY: Yeah, Gibbs. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT (SFX: GIBBS STARTLES AWAKE) GIBBS: And you? ZIVA: Ziva. GIBBS: Do we work together? ZIVA: Yes. I'm a Mossad officer attached to your team. GIBBS: Mossad? When did they start doing that? ZIVA: It's been a year. GIBBS: Don't feel bad. I worked with that M.E. ZIVA: Ducky. Ten years. And you don't remember him. GIBBS: Do you always finish people's sentences? ZIVA: Only when I'm in a hurry. Abu Sayyaf is planning a terrorist attack on the Navy. It will be as devastating as-- GIBBS: Nine Eleven. ZIVA: You remember Nine Eleven? GIBBS: My boss told me. ZIVA: Director Shepard. GIBBS: No. No, my boss. It doesn't matter. What can I do? ZIVA: Remember. GIBBS: (SHOUTING) I've been trying to since I woke up in this room! ZIVA: Well try harder! (BEAT) Good. That's a start. GIBBS: What is?! ZIVA: The old Gibbs' stare. You gave it to all of us; McGee, Tony, me! GIBBS: (SHOUTS) What are you talking about?! (SFX: GIBBS HITS ZIVA IN THE HEAD) (INSERT MONTAGE OF FLASHBACK SCENES) ZIVA: Ari.... Ari killed Kate. (INSERT MONTAGE OF FLASHBACK SCENES) ZIVA: (CRYING) And I... I killed Ari! (INSERT MONTAGE OF FLASHBACK SCENES) GIBBS: Your brother. ZIVA: (CRYING) Yes. GIBBS: You killed your brother. (SFX: ZIVA CRYING) GIBBS: To save me. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM TONY: (INTO PHONE) I'm sure he remembers you, Ducky. MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) Ziva's driving him here now! TONY: (INTO PHONE) I don't know. Maybe she pulled her-- (TONY AND MCGEE TALK OVER) MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) He's coming back. He will remember you, absolutely. TONY: (INTO PHONE) He insisted. MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) Any minute now.(ELEVATOR DINGS/ DOORS OPEN/ CLOSE) TONY: Boss! GIBBS: McGee. MCGEE: Uh... uh, Boss, no I'm McGee. ABBY: Gibbs! Oh!(ABBY HUGS GIBBS) GIBBS: Hey, Abby. MCGEE: Whoa. GIBBS: I do remember you, Abs. Ducky, how can I forget? Your mother left you on a bus. DUCKY: I have no idea, Jethro. ABBY: Should you be out of the hospital, Gibbs? GIBBS: I don't have time, Abs. I'll talk to you both later. I should have known it wasn't Galib. (ALL AD LIB AGREEMENT) TONY: I'd have made the same mistake. GIBBS: Well yeah, DiNozzo. I know. That's why I'm so pissed! (GIBBS SLAPS TONY) TONY: You didn't forget me! SHEPARD: The Cape Fear is loaded with twenty thousand -- [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC SHEPARD: ... tons of munitions, Deputy Director Welch. WELSH: (ON MONITOR) Which is why we cannot permit her to reach Gibraltar without boarding a Navy Search team. SHEPARD: Agreed. But if that frigate signals a heave-to and prepare to be boarded, Pinpin Pula will blow the Cape Fear. No one will survive. WELSH: (ON MONITOR) If he's on board and if he's a suicide bomber. TOM ZILL: (ON MONITOR) You're risking nineteen civilian lives on ifs Director Welsh. WELSH: (ON MONITOR) In the Med he could explode near a cruise ship. Nineteen will seem an acceptable loss GIBBS: No death is acceptable when it's unnecessary! SHEPARD: Deputy Director Welsh, Special Agent Gibbs. GIBBS: This terrorist isn't after a cruise liner. WELSH: (ON MONITOR) Islamic terrorists love soft targets. GIBBS: No, he wants the Marine assault ship the Cape Fear's replenishing in the Gulf. WELSH: (ON MONITOR) You don't know what he wants! He's a terrorist! A cruise ship, the Suez Canal... GIBBS: (SHOUTS) He told me! WELSH: (ON MONITOR) He told you? GIBBS: Pinpin Pula is an arrogant son-of-a-bitch! He thought the bomb he'd planted would kill me. WELSH: (ON MONITOR) So he's not a suicide bomber? GIBBS: For God's sakes, order that frigate to break off! WELSH: (ON MONITOR) I can't do that. GIBBS: (SHOUTS) Is everyone up there as stupid as you?! Pinpin Pula is on the Cape Fear! He's the radio man! He intercepts every BOLO we send him and he replies "No Pinpin here!" WELSH: (ON MONITOR) We've got that, Special Agent Gibbs. That's why we didn't communicate with the Cape Fear until... now. GIBBS: Jeff! Thank God you're there! Can you get your SEALs onboard without being seen? FLETCHER: (ON MONITOR) We can execute a HALO insertion within ten hours. WELSH: (ON MONITOR) The Cape Fear will have entered the Med. That's unacceptable. If anything happens, it'll be on some tourist video camera. GIBBS: The sailors on that frigate have video cameras! WELSH: (ON MONITOR) We can confiscate those videos. GIBBS: What? (SHOUTS) You don't want this being seen?! WELSH: (ON MONITOR) An accident at sea is better than an act of terrorism. GIBBS: (SHOUTS) It's too late! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. RADIO ROOM - DAY VOICE: (V.O./FILTERED) Cape Fear. Heave-to. Stand by to be boarded for inspection. Heave-to. Stand by to be boarded for inspection. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY GIBBS: (SHOUTS) You b*st*rd! (SFX: HUGE EXPLOSION AS THE SHIP BLOWS UP) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SHEPARD'S OFFICE - NIGHT GIBBS: I was wrong. SHEPARD: You weren't wrong. GIBBS: I was angry at Mike. I never understood how he could quit.( BEAT) Until now. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - NIGHT (SFX: DRAWER OPENS) TONY: Oh, I got them, Boss. I got them from the medics when they took you. GIBBS: Appreciate it. You'll do. It's your team now. (TO MCGEE) Tim, you're a good agent. Don't let him tell you otherwise. MCGEE: I won't, Boss. ABBY: Gibbs!(GIBBS KISSES ABBY ON CHEEK) GIBBS: I owe you, Ziva. ZIVA: I'll collect, Jethro. GIBBS: Give me a ride home, Duck. DUCKY: Of course. GIBBS: Semper fi! (ELEVATOR DINGS/ DOORS OPEN/ CLOSE) [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. BEACH - DAY (MUSIC OVER ACTION/GIBBS WALKS TO THE BEACH) (MUSIC OVER ENDING CREDITS AND OUT)

Gibbs wakes up believing it's 1991 and he was wounded in Kuwait, with no memory of the last 15 years. Director Shepard contacts Gibbs' NCIS mentor and partner, Mike Franks in hopes of helping an amnesiac Gibbs regain his memory as only he knows the details to an impending terrorist attack, and he remembers up until 1996 when Franks retired after his warnings about the impending attack on the Khobar Towers were ignored. She also delves into Gibbs' past and shares with Ducky about his murdered wife and daughter. The team discover the agent was dead before the bomb, and realise Pinpin Pula killed and impersonated the agent, then used his credentials to board another ship. Meanwhile, Tony and the team discover Pinpin Pula wants to blow up the ship Cape Fear . Ziva, who had appeared nonchalant about Gibbs' situation, visits Gibbs in a desperate and emotional attempt to revive his memory by telling him about their shared connection with Ari. Gibbs recovers his memory and is taken back to NCIS headquarters. The director in charge of the frigate's shipment refuses to heed warnings from Gibbs, Jenny and other Navy officers leading to disastrous consequences. Finally, Gibbs hands his badge to Tony and resigns before heading to Mexico to stay at Franks's house.

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"Skins and Bones" 23rd Episode of Roswell Production Code: 2ADA01 [SCENE_BREAK] (The episode begins with a scene in the desert. A geologist is scanning the area with a metal detector when the metal detector starts to beep steadily. The geologist finds the source of the metal object and starts to dig. He uncovers a charred bone that was buried in the ground.) (Switch to a room at school where a psychologist is trying to get Max to open up about his problems) Psychologist: I feel as if you've buried something. Your parents are concerned about you, Max...deeply concerned. Max, I want you to know that however unique you think your problems may be, there are millions of teenagers out there going through exactly what you're going through right now. Let me assure you, this is all normal teenage stuff. Can you try and tell me what's been going on? (Max looks a bit disoriented, gathering his thoughts. He then starts explaining what's been going on in his life as we see flashbacks from the first season) Max (V.O.): Well, I guess the natural place to start is...that I'm an alien...a hybrid, actually. You know, human DNA mixed with alien DNA...that kind of thing. Oh, I almost forgot. My sister Isabel and our friend Michael are also a little green around the gills. We didn't know where we came from, who sent us, or why. For the past 10 years, we've been aging much like humans, but clearly there are differences. From the beginning we had the instinct to keep this to ourselves, to hide in plain sight. Then one day last fall, everything changed. (We see Liz get shot and Max healing her) Max: You broke the bottle when you fell. You broke it by yourself. Don't say anything, please? (Max is now voicing over more flashbacks from the first season) Max (V.O.): The 6 of us were connected by the secret we shared. There was also Tess, a hybrid like us...part human, part alien. And then there was Nasedo. He's a shapeshifter...which means he can take on any human form, a skill that could really come in handy since there were people out there who would do anything to find us. And if they found us, there was no limit to what they would do. Fortunately, we used Nasedo's abilities to infiltrate the special unit of the FBI. Of course we had skills of our own. And as much as we tried to convince ourselves that we could live a normal life... (We see a scene where Agent Pierce is about to shoot Sheriff Valenti and Michael cries out) Michael: Stop! Max (V.O.): We couldn't. To save our lives, Michael killed Agent Pierce of the FBI. And no matter how justified it was, the truth is...we killed a man...and that wasn't easy...for any of us. Psychologist: Max? Max! Max, don't you have anything to say? Anything at all? (It's apparent now that Max didn't really blurt out his secrets to the psychologist. He was daydreaming) Max: It's like you said, just...normal teenage stuff. (Opening credits) Congressman: Mr. Pierce. How much of that spending was authorized by your superiors? Pierce: None. Congressman: Huh? Oh, sorry, Mr. Pierce. My hearing isn't what it used to be. Why don't you speak right into the mike? Pierce: None. Congressman: Oh, none! Not a penny. For $17 million spent by so-called special unit of the FBI... Alex: Max, you're a genius. Max: What? Alex: Having Nasedo pose as Pierce. You know, make a mockery of the special unit and the government threat against you. It's really smart. Max: I had nothing to do with it. I haven't heard from Nasedo in 3 months. Alex: Well, if Nasedo can put an end to this special unit, I'd say, all your problems are solved. Isabel: We still have our enemies to deal with. Max: It's been over 3 months, and nothing has happened. No aliens have shown up. Maybe there's no one out there. Maybe the war is over. Isabel: Or thousands of them could be lining up outside of town right now. Max: I just don't think we should live our lives in fear like Michael. Isabel: Maybe he's just preparing for the inevitable. Maria: They're taking a vote. Congressman: Ladies and gentlemen, I move for the immediate disbandment of that component of the FBI known as the special unit. All those in favor say, aye. Courtney: You people are way too into C-SPAN. Maria: Goodbye, Courtney. Congressman: All opposed say, nay. Whitaker: Nay. Congressman: The committee recognizes Congresswoman Whitaker. Maria: She looks familiar. Alex: Yeah, that's Vanessa Whitaker. She's our congresswoman. Maria: I've gotta start reading the newspaper. Whitaker: Members of the committee...in 1972, the special unit of the FBI investigated a murder. Several curiosities surrounded the event. No murder weapon. No entry wound, other than the presence of silver markings left on the skin, which subsequently vanished, yet the internal organs and tissues of the victim were completely decimated. Now, nuclear analysis of the victim's bones showed traces of a substance dubbed cadmium-x, an element which doesn't exist on earth. It is, simply put...not human. Congressman: Mr. Pierce, in all records, materials, and other findings...appropriated from your offices, we have found no mention of anything known as cadmium-x. Can you explain that to us? Pierce: There is no record in our files of the substance called cadmium-x, because there is no substance called cadmium-x. Cadmium-x is a hoax that we invented. Maria: I am definitely not in the market for a 30-something shapeshifter, but I have to admit the man rocks. All right, the show's over. I gotta change into my uniform. My shift's starting. (Everyone leaves except Max) Maria: Girlfriend. Like, I know that we bonded over the summer, but I'm not quite ready to show you the bod just yet. Max: No. I was just wondering if you'd heard from Liz yet. Maria: Not since you asked me an hour ago. No. Max: I heard you on the phone with her. Maria: Max, little advice. The girl goes off to some aunt in Florida for the entire summer and barely says good-bye to you. In layman's terms, she blew you off big time. I mean, and look at you. Look, you're like a groveling dog. (in a whiny voice) Have you heard from Liz today? Did Liz call? (end whiny voice) No. That's no good. Look, you've gotta play it cool, all right? Let her come to you. Max: Let her come to me. Maria: That's what I'd do. Max: Wait. Didn't you just tell me that you left like 5 messages for Michael in the past 2 days? Maria: What's your point? (In the main area of the Crashdown, Alex is looking through a newspaper for movie times while Isabel is lost in thought) Alex: Oh, look! "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" is playing at the Revival Theater at the fairgrounds. Isabel: You know, Alex, maybe you should see what you can find out about cadmium-x. Alex: Sure. Look, there are 4 showings on Saturday. Isabel: We're not going to a movie, Alex. Alex: Yeah, right. Isabel: Alex, I'm sorry. You know it's not you. It's just that with everything that's happening, everything on my mind, I can't think about being with a guy right now. You know, any guy. Grant: Excuse me. Uh, sorry. I didn't mean to... Isabel: N-no. You're fine. We're... Grant: Uh, Grant Sorenson. Isabel: Isabel Evans. Alex: Alex Whitman. Grant: I was just wondering if might be able to tell me where I could find the Sheriff's office. (Isabel and Alex share a worried glance with each other) Isabel: Why are you looking for the Sheriff? (Switch to Valenti's office where Grant is taking out the bone to show the Sheriff) Sheriff: Could be a coyote. Deputy Hansen: Why would anyone bury a coyote? Sheriff: Where'd you find this? Grant: 30 miles northeast of here...off the old Clovis Highway. Sheriff: That's a pretty isolated place to be digging around. What were you doing up there? Grant: Geological survey. Sheriff: I see. Grant: There's one thing that I can't quite explain. I was using a Lorenz Pulse 5...basically a fancy metal detector. Why would a metal detector detect bones? Deputy Hansen: Ok, I just got goose bumps. Sheriff: You did the right thing by bringing this to my attention, Mr. Sorenson. I'll look into it immediately. Grant: Sure thing, Sheriff. Deputy Hansen: You don't even need to say it, Sheriff. I'll get an excavation team out there right away. (Michael and Tess are in Michael's apartment. Tess is advising Michael on how to control his power by blowing up rocks on the table) Tess: Next one. Keep your focus. (Michael blows up some more rocks as Max and Isabel walk in) Max: No rock stands a chance against Michael Guerin. Michael: Our fearless leader. Tess: Hey. Max: I think Nasedo's finished with D.C. He'll probably be headed back soon. Tess: It's not like he's Ward Cleaver when he's here. Michael: So, what's going on? Something tells me this isn't a social visit. Isabel: We think somebody found Pierce's bones. Michael: You're kidding. Max: A geologist. Michael: What the hell was he doing digging around in the middle of nowhere? Max: That's what geologists do. Michael: I don't feel good about this. Max: Valenti's handling the investigation. He'll take care of it. Michael: What about Nasedo? Max: He told us not to contact him unless there was an emergency. Michael: So what do you call this? I mean, what if this guy's not a geologist? What if he's one of our enemies, Max? Max: Right now there's no reason to doubt him. He's a geologist, and in the course of doing his job, he dug up the bones. I'll decide when we call Nasedo. Don't do anything until I tell you. Michael: I'm not just gonna sit around and do nothing like we've done all summer. Max: We've been having this conversation for months. What are we supposed to do? Michael: You're our leader. Why don't you lead us? Max: Fine! Crack some more rocks. Isabel: Max! Max: Valenti has it under control. Let's not panic. I'll call you when there's news. (The Sheriff's office has an excavation team set up in the desert. Deputy Hanson finds a pocket knife in the brush) Deputy Hansen: Sheriff. Found this in the brush, right near the grave. Sheriff: Let's see. Deputy Hansen: I'm all over it, Sheriff. I called the lab. I'm gonna run it over right now and have them check for prints. Sheriff: Good work, Hanson. Deputy Hansen: Looks like we could have an actual homicide on our hands. (Michael, who has been watching the goings on at the excavation, turns to leave and trips over a rock. He sees a piece of shedded skin on the ground. It disintegrates when he touches it) Michael: What the hell? (Max and Isabel are walking down a street) Isabel: Maybe Michael's right. Maybe we should check out the geologist. Max: Valenti already did. He has a degree from the University of Wyoming and was hired to do field work in the area. Isabel: Nasedo had a pretty good cover, too. Max: I'll talk to him later. Isabel: Or I could. Max: We'll talk about it later. (Max sees Liz on the street and walks up to her) Max: Liz. Liz: Hi...Max. Max: Hi. So...so when did you get back? Liz: A couple of days ago...actually. Max: Well, that's odd. Maria said you were still away. Liz: Yeah, I know she did. Um, you know, I just...I wanted to get settled a little bit before... Max: Yeah. Yeah. I...I understand. Listen, Liz, I...I know how strange everything got before you left. But I think it's ok. No aliens have attacked. Nasedo is putting an end to the special unit as we speak. I think all of this could finally be over. Liz: Oh, I really hope that's true...for all of you. Max: And I just want you to know about the whole Tess situation... Liz: Oh, Max. You don't...you don't have to. Max: It's just that it's definitely over. I don't have feelings for her. I've told her that...and she understands. I know it's probably irrelevant at this point, but...just for the record. Liz: Right. Yeah. I just want to get a fresh start. I've decided... Max: Right...right. Anyway, you look... Liz: Oh! Max: Great! Liz: No, it's... Max: Different. Liz: Oh, I have a job interview actually. Max: Oh. What about the Crashdown? Liz: Well, this really incredible opportunity came up sort of out of the... (Someone arrives out of the blue and walks up to Liz) Whitaker: You must be Liz Parker. Liz: Congresswoman Whitaker! It is so nice to meet you. You are a real hero to me. Whitaker: You don't need to suck up, really. My paid staff takes care of my enormous ego. Liz: Oh, so there's, um, not an actual salary? Whitaker: We have a lot to talk about. (Congresswoman Whitaker turns to Max) Whitaker: Hi. Liz: I'm sorry. This is Max Evans. A friend. Whitaker: Nice to meet you. Max: Same here. Whitaker: Should we step inside? Liz: Yeah. Sure. It would be great. (Valenti enters his office and we see Deputy Hanson and Michael waiting for him) Deputy Hansen: This is the suspect, Sheriff. Came in peaceably. Although I do see a bit of an attitude problem. Sheriff: You recognize that? Michael: Well, there's a lot of knives out there that look like that. Sheriff: How many of them do you suppose have your fingerprints on them, Mr. Guerin? My very efficient deputy here has linked this knife to you. It was discovered way out in the desert, out near the old Clovis Highway. You remember our little meeting out there a few months ago? Do I have to refresh your memory? Michael: Yeah. Maybe you'd better. Sheriff: I found you and 2 of your buddies drinking beer, joyriding, taking potshots out into the desert. Remember? Michael: Yeah. Sheriff: Here's the police report I filled out that night, just in case you forgot. Now, did you witness anything out of the ordinary that night, Mr. Guerin? Michael: N-no, sir. Sheriff: All right. Listen, do yourself a favor. The next time you're going off to break the law somewhere, don't leave a calling card. Michael: Yes, sir. Sheriff: Get the hell out of here. Deputy Hansen: I smell a rat. (Michael is at a pay phone trying to contact Nasedo) Michael: Nasedo. It's Michael. Nasedo: Does Max know you're calling? Michael: No. But we got a code red. Get the hell out here. Nasedo: Don't ever contact me again unless Max knows. Michael: Great people skills. (We see Grant Sorensen in the desert doing more research on the ground) Grant: Hey. Isabel: Hey. Grant: What are you doing out here? Isabel: Looking for you actually. Grant: Really? Isabel: Well, Roswell's a small town. You know, when something interesting pops us, sometimes your curiosity gets the best of you. Grant: Something interesting? Isabel: Like the bones you dug up. Grant: Ah...bones. Isabel: It seems like such a romantic job, being a geologist, studying the earth. What exactly are you doing up here? Grant: I'm testing the area for radioactivity. Isabel: You're kidding. Here? Grant: Apparently, there had been some nuclear testing in the fifties. Isabel: Oh. Ok, so you're here to make sure it's safe for the public. Grant: Actually, I'm here to make sure it's safe for a huge corporation to open a chemical plant. Isabel: Oh. Grant: They're the ones who commissioned me to do the survey. Isabel: Wouldn't a big chemical plant just pollute the area anyway? Grant: Does my job still seem so romantic? Isabel: Well, beats working at the cheese factory. (Back at the Sheriff's office, Congresswoman Whitaker and Sheriff Valenti are having an argument) Whitaker: Well, let's just cut to the chase, shall we, Sheriff? This is a piece of a phone conversation I had with Agent Pierce when he first came to Roswell. (Congresswoman Whitaker plays the tape) Whitaker: How's it going there? Pierce: Don't know yet. My first note is to look into the Sheriff here. I think he may be the key to everything. (Congresswoman Whitaker stops the tape) Whitaker: That's the last I heard from him until he returned to Washington. That's when he started lying to me. Sheriff: Congresswoman Whitaker, I would strongly advise that you not spend too much more energy looking for aliens. I mean, you just might find yourself out of a job like your friend, Mr. Pierce. Whitaker: How odd. That almost sounds like a threat. Deputy Hansen: Sheriff, I need... Sheriff: Deputy! Deputy Hansen: I'm truly sorry. I didn't realize you were in here with someone. Sheriff: I'll be with you in a minute, Deputy. Deputy Hansen: Right. I just got the coroner's report back... Sheriff: Thank you, Deputy. I'll look it over when I get a chance. Deputy Hansen: They found something on the murder victim. Whitaker: Murder victim? Sheriff: There isn't any murder victim. It's some bones that were dug up by a geologist. We don't even know if they're human. [SCENE_BREAK] (Forensics investigators have put together the skeleton of the body found in the desert) Dr. Bender: There's no doubt the bones are human, but that's not the interesting part of all this. Deputy Hansen: Listen to this. Dr. Bender: See this mass of bone structure? Whitaker: What about it? Dr. Bender: Well, now compare it to this other side of the rib cage. This side has been melted and fused together. Sheriff: The corpse was clearly in a fire. What's your point? Dr. Bender: Fire or no fire, bone doesn't melt. Only some bizarre form of radiation could do this. Whitaker: Any nuclear accidents in the area, Sheriff? Dr. Bender: What we have here was caused by a short and very contained burst of unthinkable energy. Sheriff: Well, I'm gonna start a full-blown investigation. Hanson, let's get back to the precinct. Bender, you'll let me know the other test results? (Sheriff Valenti turns to Congresswoman Whitaker) Sheriff: Why don't you go back to your office? And I'll keep you informed as things develop. Whitaker: Actually, Sheriff, I think I'll stay right here. Sheriff: With all due respect, I believe this matter is out of your jurisdiction. Whitaker: And with all due respect to you, I have no intention of leaving this situation in the hands of a county sheriff. This is now a matter of federal interest. Sheriff: I have every intention of consulting with the FBI on this. Whitaker: No. I'll consult with the FBI. I'm not taking my eyes off these bones until I get an explanation. Deputy Hansen: Sheriff, based on this new information, maybe I should bring that kid back in. Whitaker: What kid? (Michael is sleeping on his bed when there is a knock at his door) Sheriff: Open the door! Police! Michael: Valenti. I figured you'd have to come over here and give me grief about leaving the knife out there. Man, what's the big deal? Sheriff: Mr. Guerin, you're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have a right to an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you by the court. (Nasedo, disguised as Pierce, enters the Crashdown) Pierce: You can never find those little pod people when you want them. (One of the workers at the Crashdown recognizes Pierce from TV) Customer: Hey! You're that guy from tv! Pierce: Move, please. Customer: Honey, get over here. It's that crazy FBI guy! (Pierce enters the men's room and shuts the door behind him) Customer: Hey! (Pierce transforms back to Ed Harding) Nasedo: Excuse me. Customer: Honey? Nasedo: Sheriff Valenti, welcome to the ever-burgeoning "I know an alien" club. You called me here. I assume it's important. Max: How much do you know about Congressman Whitaker? Nasedo: I know her intimately. Tess: Intimately? Nasedo: To borrow a rather crude human colloquialism, I've been diddling her all summer. Maria: I hope he's using birth control. Nasedo: I must admit, I've grown awfully fond of the foul temptress. It's a shame I may now have to kill her. Max: Well, Pierce's bones have been dug up, and apparently some of them have been fused in a way that is completely unexplainable by human terms. Nasedo: Tell me how far this information has been leaked. I need to extinguish every human who has this information. Alex: I'm going to assume present company is excluded? Liz: Isn't murder what got you into this situation to begin with? Nasedo: My job is to protect the royal 4. Their survival is critical to the survival of an entire race. Max: No one's going to die. Killing people isn't going to solve anything. Nasedo: Oh, my. A pacifist for a king. Shall we all just commit joint suicide right now, or shall we wait for our enemies to show up and have a nice boxed lunch of us? Max: We're not killing anyone. That's an order. Nasedo: As you wish. The feds know about cadmium-x. If they find it on the bones, their first order of business will be to do to Michael what they did to you in the white room. Max: We can't let that happen. Nasedo: Where are the bones now? Sheriff: Whitaker took them out of the coroner's office. I don't know where they are. Isabel: Even if we knew where they were, what would we do with them? Hiding them isn't going to solve the problem. Max: I know what to do. (Liz is being her workaholic self at Congresswoman Whitaker's office) Whitaker: Parker, go home. It's late. Liz: No, it's ok. I want to make sure you're organized. Whitaker: I don't want to be hit with a child labor suit. Liz: I promise. (Pierce enters the office) Whitaker: Agent Pierce. Pierce: Just Daniel. I'm a civilian now. Whitaker: Uh, this is Liz Parker. She's my new intern. Pierce: Pleasure. Liz: Hi. Whitaker: So, what brings a out-of-work FBI agent to Roswell? Seems like the worst place to be for a recovering alien hunter. Pierce: I might be out here hunting something else. Whitaker: What might that be? Pierce: Nothing I could say in front of your new intern. Whitaker: Oh, she's a big girl. I think she can handle it. Right, Parker? Liz: Um, I'm just gonna go get some more folders. Excuse me. Pierce: I needed to see you. Whitaker: Well, you should have thought of that before you publicly humiliated me on tv. Pierce: Don't let politics come between us. Whitaker: Politics is the reason you slept with me to begin with. Pierce: Well, maybe at first. It's more than that now. You showed me a side of myself...I didn't know existed. Whitaker: Parker, can you lock up on your way out? I'll see you tomorrow. Liz: Yeah. Have a good night. Pierce: Oh, we will. (Liz lets Max in after Congresswoman Whitaker leaves with Nasedo) Max: We gotta move fast. I don't know how long he's going to be able to keep her away. Liz: Well, I...I don't think that they're going to be back anytime soon. (Sheriff Valenti visits Michael in his cell) Sheriff: We only have a couple minutes to talk. Michael: What's up? Sheriff: I just want to make sure you don't do anything like use your powers to try to break out of here. The best thing to do right now is to sit tight. Michael: You sound like Max. Sheriff: Look, I know it's hard for you to be locked up like this. Michael: It's not that bad. I killed a man. Maybe this is where I should be. Sheriff: Michael, you killed the man who killed Agent Topolsky and killed Agent Stevens and who knows how many others, and he was just about to kill me. Michael: Yeah. I've told myself all those things, but I still killed a man. And the thing that I keep thinking about is that what happened is just the tip of the iceberg. I've been trying to prepare myself for what's about to go down, and I have no idea what to do. I'm cracking rocks. I have no clue who or what we're up against. And I've been so pissed off at Max for not leading, but he doesn't know any more than I do. None of us do. We're all in the dark waiting to be attacked, and all I can think about is what if I'm not strong enough? (Max and Liz have thoroughly searched Congresswoman Whitaker's office) Liz: There's nothing. Max: Damn it! Liz: So, I guess it's not all over. Max: It can be. These are just bones that somebody dug up...pieces of the past. If I can just fix it, it can all be over. Things can go back to how they were. Liz: I don't think they can. So, I never really got the whole story. Uh, why are we looking for these bones? What exactly is cadmium-x? Max: It's an isotope of cadmium that might have been created when Michael killed Pierce. Liz: Oh, so it's like some sort of after-effect of Michael using his powers? Max: Something like that. And if we don't get the bones before they're able to test for cadmium-x, Michael is screwed. We all are. Liz: Well, did you check the particle physics lab at Las Cruces University? Max: The what? Liz: It opened up last year. Mr. Saldeman spent like 2 weeks in physics obsessing about it last semester. The new cyclotron can measure isotope ratios, so if cadmium-x is extraterrestrial, that's where you would go to find it out. I'm not a dork. I just enjoy science. (Max is walking along a street when Nasedo grabs him and pulls him into an alley) Nasedo: Did you find anything? Max: The bones are going to be delivered tomorrow morning to the University in Las Cruces. Nasedo: I'll be there. Max: So, did you have a good time distracting the congresswoman? Nasedo: No comment. How have you and Tess been getting along? Max: Well, I haven't performed any mating rituals if that's what you're asking. Nasedo: You heard your destiny. You heard it with your own ears. Max: I just want to get Michael out of jail and go back to my life. I'm not a king and we are not at war. Nasedo: You're the boss. I would just be careful not to confuse what you want to be true with what really is true. (Nasedo walks to his car and notices a piece of shed skin on the hood) Nasedo: Oh, no. (Inside the particle lab, Congresswoman Whitaker is overseeing the test on the skeleton) Scientist 1: We'll be ready to start in 2 minutes. Whitaker: Let's make history. (Outside, Isabel goes up to the security guard, pretending that she's lost) Isabel: Excuse me. Guard: I'm a security guard, not an information booth. Isabel: This is so embarrassing, but I am completely and utterly lost. I have been looking all over the place for the student union, but apparently I have no sense of direction. At least that's what my boyfriend says. Well, ex-boyfriend. Guard: I'll take you. Isabel: I was hoping you'd say that. (Max uses his power to enter the lab and then calls Tess on a cell phone) Tess: Max? Max: Where's Nasedo? Tess: He's still not here. Max: We can't wait any longer. Are you ready? Tess: Yeah. Max: I see 8 people in the control room. Tess: That's a lot of people. Max: Tess, we need you. Can you do this or not? Tess: I think so. Max: You can't let anyone in that room see me. Tess: I got it. I won't let you down. But with this many people, I can only sustain the mind warp for a couple of minutes. Max: It'll have to do. Tess: Ok. Bye. (Back inside the lab) Scientist 1: Ready to go. Whitaker: Gentlemen, start your engines. (Max sneaks in as Tess uses her mind warp power to prevent anyone from seeing Max) Scientist 1: Initiating accelerator. Up to speed. (Max starts changing the properties of the skeleton with his powers) Scientist 1: Begin scan at 10 seconds. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Whitaker: That's impossible. Scientist 1: The results are pretty conclusive. There's no evidence of cadmium-x anywhere. Whitaker: Doesn't make any sense. Scientist 2: Sir, look at this. Scientist 1: Very interesting. We carbon-dated the bones. Whitaker: What does that mean exactly? Scientist 2: It's a way of measuring the decay of radioactive carbon isotopes in bones. The ratio of carbon isotopes depends on how long the organism has been dead. Whitaker: Can you translate that into English, please? Scientist 1: It's a fancy way of figuring out how long ago the body that belonged to that skeleton died. Whitaker: What does it say about these bones? Scientist 1: These bones have been out in that desert for 42 years. Whitaker: What about the fused ribs around the point of impact? Scientist 2: Well, the fused ribs could be explained as a mutation due to radiation resulting from the nuclear tests which were done in the area in 1958. Scientist 1: 42 years ago. Whitaker: Something about this isn't right. (At the Crashdown, the gang is celebrating the success of their operation) Max: So I thought if I could age the bones, it would totally take suspicion off Michael. Michael: Thanks, Maxwell. Max: Better sew the holes in your pockets, soldier. (Courtney walks out from the Crashdown kitchen area) Courtney: Hey! What's the big celebration? Maria: Tradition. School starts monday. It's kind of like our last hurrah. Courtney: Cool. Well, see ya. Hi, Michael. Maria: Sorry. I didn't know that she was still here. I'm sorry. Michael: We gotta be more careful than that. Maria: So, I hear ex-cons are really great in bed. Michael: I thought we agreed that it was over between us. Maria: You agreed, and then you avoided me the entire summer. Michael: Well, it is. Maria: Why? 'Cause you're destined to be with Isabel? Michael: No. I don't buy that. Because I'm destined to be the soldier, and a soldier can't have some chick at home waiting for him. Maria: Michael, half the movies ever made are about soldiers with chicks waiting at home for them. Michael: Well, be that as it may... Maria: I miss you, Michael. Michael: I know, but don't. (Max leaves the Crashdown and meets Liz just as she's coming back home) Liz: Hey. Max: Hey. Let me ask you a question. I know what you said...that things couldn't go back to the way they were, but pretend they could for just one second. Could you and I go back, too? Liz: I...I can't pretend, Max. (Max touches Liz on her arm and she gets a flood of images) Max: What? Liz: Nothing. Good night. Max: Night, Liz. (Max walks into his room and plops down on the bed) Max: Uhh! (Someone knocks on Max's window) Max: Michael, what is it? It's late. Michael? (Max opens the window and someone tumbles inside) Max: Nasedo! Nasedo: They're among you now. Max: Who is? Who's among us? Nasedo: The skins. Max: No. No. No. No! (The scene ends with Nasedo dying in Max's arms)

In the opening episode of the second series. Max, Liz, Isabel and Maria must rescue Michael after he is arrested on suspicion of murder; Liz takes a job with a congresswoman who has a hidden agenda.

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[Directors Cut of the Pilot] [Salvatore's House] (Elena is lying in the cell and starting to desiccate. Damon and Stefan are upstairs) Damon: That's the calmest desiccating vampire I've ever seen. I remember when you starved me down there for 3 days. I would've wept at your feet for an orange peel Stefan: Look, she's not gonna beg for blood. Begging means desperation. Emotion. She's still in no-humanity zone Damon: How hungry does she have to be before we can torture some feelings back into her? Stefan: A lot hungrier than she is now, apparently Damon: So, what are we supposed to do in the meantime? (Katherine enters) Katherine: Maybe I can provide a little excitement Stefan: Katherine Katherine: The one and only. Sort of. So, when's the welcome home party? Damon: Wow. Look who went and got bold. Last time I checked, Klaus was plotting your eternal demise Katherine: Well, it doesn't matter anymore, because Klaus is gone Stefan: Wait. What do you mean he's gone? Katherine: Let's just say that werewolf girl Hayley turned out to be just the thing we needed to get Klaus out of our lives for good [New Orleans] (Haley is at a bar. She looks at the bartender) Bartender: Third time in here this week Haley: I'm obsessed with The Gumbo, Jane-Anne Jane-Anne: The old ladies in the ninth ward say my sister Sophie bleeds a piece of her soul into every dish Haley: I asked around the quarter about my family Jane-Anne: And? Haley: Nothing. Zero. Can't find a single person who remembers them Jane-Anne: Because, Hayley, people like you were run out of here years ago Haley: What do you mean, people like me? Jane-Anne: In the Bayou, they call the werewolves Roux-Ga-Roux. You head out there; you'll find what you're looking for. Be careful. It's the last place you'd ever want to go (Jane-Anne and Sophie are in a cemetery) Sophie: Don't do it. Please. What if I'm wrong about her? Jane-Anne: That's the beauty of you. You're never wrong. She's the only way we're gonna get to Klaus Sophie: Can we get someone else to do the spell? Jane-Anne: Who? Half the witches don't believe you. The other half are too scared Sophie: Because they know we're gonna get caught, Jane-Anne Jane-Anne: We don't have any other option. Now go. You know what you need to do (Haley arrives at the bayou and has a problem with her car) Haley: What the... uhh! Are you kidding me? (She gets out of the car and takes her phone) Haley: Hey, I'm looking for a tow service (A tour guide is leading a bunch of tourists) Tour Guide: Welcome to the dark side of New Orleans, a supernatural playground where the living are easily lost and the dead stick around and play (Klaus smiles) Mystic Falls [Rebekah's House] Rebekah: New Orleans? What the hell is Klaus doing there? Elijah: Evidently, there are witches conspiring against him. So, knowing our brother, this was a mission to silence and slaughter Rebekah: Well, the French quarter witches are not a lot to be trifled with. You don't suppose they've found a way to kill him once and for all, do you? Elijah: Rebekah, in the name of our family, you might try to dial down your glee Rebekah: What family? We are 3 distrustful acquaintances who happen to share a bloodline. I for one hope they've found a way to make that traitorous b*st*rd rot [New Orleans] (Klaus sees a woman and goes to her) Klaus: Good afternoon. Time for one more? Woman: I have nothing to say to you Klaus: Oh, now, that's not very amiable, is it? You don't even know me Woman: I know what you are. Half-vampire, half-beast. You're the hybrid Klaus: I'm the original hybrid, actually, but that's a long story for another time Mystic Falls [Rebekah's House] Rebekah: Where are you going? Elijah: To find out who's making a move against our brother, and then... I'll either stop them, or I'll help them. Depending on my mood (He leaves) [New Orleans] Klaus: I'm looking for someone. A witch. Perhaps you might be able to help me find her. Jane-Anne Deveraux Woman: Sorry. I don't know Klaus: Well, now, that's a fib, isn't it? Now, you see... I know that you're a true witch amongst this sea of poseurs. So, enough with the fabrications. I've quite a temper Woman: Witches don't talk Outta School in the quarter. The vampire won't allow it. Those are the rules. I don't break Marcel's rules Klaus: Marcel's rules? Where do you suppose I might find Marcel? (Marcel is singing in a bar. When he stops, he goes to the bar and sees Klaus) Marcel: Klaus Klaus: Marcel Marcel: Must be 100 years since that nasty business with your papa Klaus: Has it been that long? Marcel: Way I recall it, he ran you out of town. Left a trail of dead vampires in his wake Klaus: And yet how fortunate you managed to survive. My father, I'm afraid, I recently incinerated to dust Marcel: Well, if I'd known you were coming back in town, if I had a heads-up... Klaus: What, Marcel? What would you have done? Marcel: I'd have thrown you a damn parade. Niklaus Mikaelson. My mentor, my savior, my sire. Let's get you a drink. It is good to see you Klaus: It's good to be home. Although please tell me the current state of bourbon street is not your doing Marcel: Ha ha ha ha! Something's gotta draw in the out-of-towners; otherwise, we'd all go hungry Klaus: I see your friends are daywalkers Marcel: Yeah, yeah, I shared the secret of your daylight ring with a few buddies. Just the inner circle, though. The family Klaus: Tell me. How did you find a witch willing to make daylight rings? Marcel: I got the witches here wrapped around my finger Klaus: Is that so? I'm looking for a witch by the name of Jane-Anne Deveraux. Has some business with me Marcel: Looking for Jane-Anne? Then you probably ought to come with me. Ha ha! Showtime! (Marcel and Klaus are outside. A crowd gathers) Marcel: How's the family? Klaus: Those who live hate me more than ever Marcel: Forget them. If your blood relations let you down, you make your own, huh? You taught me that. And what's mine is yours, as always. Even my nightwalkers, the riff-raff Klaus: They're hardly subtle, are they? Marcel: It's the quarter. Ain't no such thing as subtle, baby (Marcel's mignons bring Jane-Anne) Marcel: Jane-Anne Deveraux. Give it up for Jane-Anne. Come on. Jane-Anne Deveraux, you have been accused of the practice of witchcraft beyond the bounds of the rules set forth and enforced by me. How do you plead? Oh. Was that convincing? I studied law back in the fifties. It's all I know. Seriously, J, tick tock. You know the drill. How do you plead? Jane-Anne: I didn't do anything Marcel: That's a lie. You know it, I know it, and you hate that I know it. It drives you witches crazy that I'm aware of your every move. That you can't do magic in this town without getting caught. So, why don't we just cut to the chase, huh? You tell me what magic you're brewing. Tell me. I'll grant you leniency. Hey, I am, after all, a merciful man Jane-Anne: Rot in hell, monster Marcel: I'll tell you what. I'll give you one more chance. Or not (He kills her. Klaus rejoins him) Klaus: What was that? Marcel: Hey. Come walk with me. Witches aren't allowed to do magic here. She broke the rules Klaus: I told you I wanted to talk to her Marcel: Hey, I'm sorry. I got caught up in the show. Those witches, they think that they still have power in this town. I have to show them that they don't. I never waste an opportunity for a show of force. Another lesson that I learned from you. And besides, anything that you could've gotten out of her, I can find out for you, and I will. I promise Klaus: Well, whatever it was, doesn't matter anymore, does it? Marcel: Good. Then let's eat, because all that spilled blood makes me hungry (He leaves. Klaus talks to one of Marcel's minions) Klaus: Hey. Thierry, isn't it? Any more Deveraux witches where she came from? (Sophie is cooking. She turns herself. Klaus is here) Sophie: You're Klaus Klaus: I am. And you're upset. Sophie, isn't it? I assume this is because of what I just witnessed with your sister on the corner of Royal and St. Ann Sophie: Did you enjoy the show? Klaus: It was a little melodramatic for my tastes. What did your sister want with me? Why did Marcel kill her? Sophie: I see you brought friends Klaus: They're not with me Sophie: They're with Marcel. That's all that matters. I know you built this town, but this is his town now. He killed my sister because she broke the rules. So, I talk to you in front of them, I'm next (He rejoins the 2 men at the bar) Klaus: Are you two gentlemen following me? Man: Marcel said we're your guides Klaus: Oh, he did, did he? Well, then, let me be exceedingly clear about something. If either of you following me again, you'll do so without the benefit of a spine (The waitress rejoins them) Camille: Sorry for the wait. If you're here for the gumbo, I'm about to break your heart. We just ran out Klaus: Your oldest scotch for my two friends here, love. Marcel wants to know what I'm up to, he can ask me himself (Sophie is outside, alone. She hears a door close and the men who were inside are here) Sophie: The doors work, you know Man: You doing magic? Sophie: I'm praying to my dead sister. Go ahead. Pay your respects Man:. Don't make this a thing, Sophie. The hybrid was looking for Jane-Anne. Marcel wants to know why Sophie: Oh, that sounds like witch business. I'd say ask her yourself, but I guess you can't seeing as how Marcel killed her (They're about to kill her but Elijah intervenes and kills them) Elijah: I'm Elijah. You've heard of me? Sophie: Yes Elijah: So, why don't you tell me what business your family has with my brother? (Klaus arrives at a party, looking for Marcel. He catches one of his men) Klaus: Where's Marcel? Man: Who the hell's asking? Klaus: I assume you're joking Man: I only answer to Marcel Klaus: Well, then, in that case, perhaps you'll answer to this. You're aware the bite of a werewolf can kill a vampire? Well, as you can see, I'm half-werewolf, so I'm gonna ask you one more time! Where is Marcel? (Marcel arrives) Marcel: H-hey. I'm right here. I'm right here. Easy, now. Diego's just looking out for me. Nobody harms my guys. Those are the rules Klaus: I don't care about your rules, Marcel. I don't need chaperones. Why are you having me followed? Marcel: Come here. I get it, huh? Show of force. You made your point. Let it go, friend. For me Klaus: Fine. Why don't you show me what you've done with the place while you explain exactly what it is you've been up to in my town? Marcel: Follow me (Marcel and Klaus are on a balcony) Marcel: Look at that skyline. That there, that's progress. More hotels, more tourists, more fresh blood. And the humans? I taught them to look the other way Klaus: And what of the witches? In my time, they were a force to be reckoned with, and now they live in fear. How do you know when they're using magic? Marcel: Maybe I got a secret weapon, an ace up my sleeve, something that gives me complete control over all the magic in this town Klaus: Hmm. Is that a fact? Marcel: Might be. Or maybe I'm just bluffing (He eats something) Klaus: You take vervain? Marcel: 'Burns like a bitch. But I figure I should limit the number of things I'm vulnerable to. Don't be mad about that chaperone thing. I told my guys to look out for you, that's all. That's what we do here... Look out for each other (They see Camille walking alone) Marcel: Mmmmm. New blood Klaus: The bartender, walking alone at night. She's either brave or dumb Marcel: Let's see. Brave, I let her live, Let's see. Brave, I let her live, dumb, she's dessert (He jumps above the balcony and lands behind Camille) Marcel: You know, it's not safe here alone Camille: You know, I have a black belt in karate (Klaus looks at them. Elijah's here) Klaus: Evening, Elijah Elijah: Niklaus Klaus: What an entirely unwelcome surprise Elijah: And what an entirely unsurprising welcome. Come with me Klaus: I'm not going anywhere. Not until I find out who's conspiring against me Elijah: I believe I just found that out for you (Klaus and Elijah are in a cemetery) Klaus: What are we doing here? Elijah: Want to know what the witches have in store for you? Follow me (They enter a crypt. Sophie is waiting for them) Klaus: Sophie Deveraux. What is this? Elijah: He's all yours. Proceed Sophie: You know you're famous in this town? Witches tell bedtime stories about the powerful vampire Klaus. We know Marcel was nothing but an orphaned street rat until you made him what he is. And now he's out of control. He does what he wants. He kills who he wants. I'm gonna stop him... And you're gonna help me (Klaus looks at Elijah) Klaus: This is why you brought me here Elijah: Hear her out Klaus: I don't need to hear her out. I assure you, love, there is not a thing on this earth that will matter enough for me to waste even 30 more seconds of my time Klaus: Elijah, what madness is this? (Haley enters) Haley: Klaus... You need to listen to them Klaus: You're all out of your minds if you think some liquor-fueled one-night stand... No offense, sweetheart... Means a thing to me Sophie: Marcel may be able to keep us from practicing real magic in this town, but as keepers of the balance, we still know when nature has cooked up something new. For example, I have a special gift, of sensing when a girl is pregnant Klaus: What? Haley: I know. It's impossible Klaus: What are you saying? Elijah: Niklaus... The girl is carrying your child Klaus: No. It's impossible. Vampires cannot procreate Sophie: But werewolves can. Magic made you a vampire, but you were born a werewolf. You're the original hybrid, the first of your kind, and this pregnancy is one of nature's loopholes Klaus: You've been with someone else. Admit it! Haley: Hey. I spent days held captive in a freakin' alligator bayou because they think that I'm carrying some magical miracle baby. Don't you think I would've fessed up if it wasn't yours? Sophie: My sister gave her life to perform the spell she needed to confirm this pregnancy. Because of Jane-Anne's sacrifice, the lives of this girl and her baby are now controlled by us. If you don't help us take down Marcel, so help me, Hayley won't live long enough to see her first maternity dress Haley: Wait, what? Elijah: Enough of this, if you want Marcel dead, he's dead. I'll do it myself Sophie: No. We can't. Not yet. We have a clear plan that we need to follow and there are rules Klaus: How dare you command me? Threaten me with what you wrongfully perceive to be my weaknesses? I won't hear any more lies Elijah: Niklaus. Listen (They hear the baby's heartbeat) Klaus: Kill her and the baby. What do I care? (He leaves) [SCENE_BREAK] (Elijah rejoins Klaus) Elijah: Niklaus Klaus: it's a trick, Elijah Elijah: No, brother. It's a gift. It's your chance. It's our chance Klaus: To what? Elijah: To start over. Take back everything we lost. Everything that was taken from us. Niklaus, our own parents came to despise us. Our family was ruined, we were ruined, and since then, all that you have ever wanted, all that we have ever wanted, was a family Klaus: I will not be manipulated Elijah: So, they're manipulating you. So what? With them, this girl and her child, your child... live Klaus: I'm gonna kill every last one of them Elijah: And then what? Then you return to Mystic Fall to resume your life as the hated one, as the evil hybrid? Is it so important to you that people quake with fear at the sound of your name? Klaus: People quake with fear because I have the power to make them afraid. What will this child offer me? Will it guarantee me power? Elijah: Family is power, Niklaus. Love, loyalty. It's power. This is what we swore to one another a thousand years ago, before life tore away what little humanity you had left, before ego, before anger, before paranoia created this person before me... Someone I can barely even recognize as my own brother. This is us. The Original family. We remain together, always and forever. I am asking you to stay here. I will help you and I will stand by you. I will be your brother. We will build a home here together. So, save this girl Save your child Klaus: No Mystic Falls [Rebekah's House] (Rebekah is on the phone with Elijah) Elijah: He's doing what he does. Given a chance at happiness, Klaus runs in the opposite direction Rebekah: Then let him run. That child, if it's even his, is better off without him Elijah: He's not better off without that child, Rebekah, and neither are we Rebekah: Darling, kind Elijah. Our brother rarely brings us anything but pain. At what point in your immortal life will you stop searching for his redemption? Elijah: I'll stop searching for his redemption when I believe there is none left to be found (She hangs up. Katherine is here) Rebekah: I'd give you a play-by-play, but you have the air of someone who's been lurking and listening Katherine: He'll come around. You know Elijah. He won't stop until he's convinced Klaus to do the right thing Rebekah: I know you consider yourself an expert in brotherly dynamics, but you don't know my brothers half as well as you think you do Katherine: You're wrong. Klaus won't be able to walk away from this. He and I are the same. We manipulate, we thirst for power, we control, we punish, but our actions are driven by one singular place deep inside Rebekah: And what's that? Katherine: We're alone. And we hate it. Tell Elijah to call me when he comes home. I'll be waiting for him (She leaves) [New Orleans] (Klaus goes back to the party and rejoins Marcel) Marcel: Hey, man. Where'd you run off to? Klaus: You mean your minions aren't still documenting my every move? Marcel: Someone put you in a mood. What can I do? Klaus: What you can do is you can tell me what this thing is you have with the witches Marcel: We're back to that? Klaus: Yeah, we're back to that Marcel: You know I owe you everything I got, but I'm afraid I have to draw the line on this one. This is my business. I control the witches in my town. Let's just leave it at that Klaus: Your town? Marcel: Damn straight Klaus: That's funny. Because when I left 100 years ago, you were just a pathetic little scrapper still trembling from the lashes of the whips of those who would keep you down, and now look at you. Master of your domain. Prince of the city. I'd like to know how Marcel: Why? Jealous? Hey man, I get it. 300 years ago, you helped build a backwater penal colony into something. You started it, but then you left. Actually, you ran from it. I saw it through. Look around. Vampires rule this city now. We don't have to live in the shadows like rats. The locals know their place. They look the other way. I got rid of the werewolves. I even found a way to shut down the witches. The blood never stops flowing and the party never ends. You want to pass on through? You want to stay a while? Great. What's mine is yours, but it is mine. My home, my family, my rules Klaus: And if someone breaks those rules? Marcel: They die. Mercy is for the weak. You taught me that, too. And I'm not the Prince of the quarter, friend. I'm the King! Show me some respect (Klaus loses his temper and bites one of his minions) Klaus: Your friend will be dead by the weekend. Which means I've broken one of your rules. And yet I cannot be killed. I am immortal. Who has the power now, friend? (He leaves) (Camille looks at a painting. Klaus rejoins her) Camille: The hundred dollar guy Klaus: The brave bartender. Camille. That's a French name Camille: It's a grandma's name. Call me Cami. Amazing, isn't he? Klaus: Do you paint? Camille: No, but I admire. Every artist has a story, you know Klaus: And what do you suppose his story is? Camille: He's... angry. Dark. Doesn't feel safe and doesn't know what to do about it. He wishes he could control his demons instead of having his demons control him. He's lost, alone. Or... maybe he just drank too much tonight. Sorry. Overzealous psych major Klaus: No. I think you were probably right the first time Camille: So... (Klaus has disappeared) (Klaus is sitting alone on a bench. Elijah rejoins him and sits down next to him) Klaus: Are you here to give me another pep talk on the joys of fatherhood? Elijah: I've said all I needed to say Klaus: I forgot how much I liked this town Elijah: I didn't forget. All the centuries we've spent together and yet I can count on one hand the number of times that our family has been truly happy. I hated leaving here Klaus: As did I Elijah: What is on your mind, brother? Klaus: For a thousand years, I lived in fear. Any time I settled anywhere, our father would hunt me down and... chase me off. He made me feel powerless, and I hated it. This town was my home once, and in my absence, Marcel has gotten everything that I ever wanted. Power, loyalty, family. I made him in my image and he has bettered me. I want what he has. I want to be King Elijah: And what of Hayley and the baby? Klaus: Every King needs an heir (Elijah is walking in the cemetery with Sophie) Elijah: So, how do you propose this will work? Sophie: Your brother needs to cement his place in Marcel's world. His inner circle, the daywalkers... That's where we begin. They're his friends. His family. We'll be hitting him where it hurts (Thierry is sick. Everyone is gathered around him, including Marcel. Klaus enters) Klaus: I had time to sleep on it last night. I'm not your enemy. Where my family and I failed this town... Marcel succeeded. My blood will heal him. As though it never happened. The quarter is your home, but I would like to stay a while, if I'm still welcome (There's a parade. Klaus looks at it and calls someone) Klaus: Caroline. I'm standing in one of my favorite places in the world, surrounded by food, music, art, culture, and all I can think about is how much I want to show it to you. Maybe one day you'll let me Mystic Falls [Rebekah's House] (Rebekah is with Elijah) Rebekah: So, that's it? I'm just supposed to pack up my things and leave for good? Forget my life here and my pursuit of the cure? Elijah: The cure was a fool's errand. I mean, taking it would've stripped you of everything you are for what? More High School proms? Rebekah: I wanted to be human. I wanted children and a family Elijah: And I stand before you to offer you both Rebekah: And if I decide against you? A dagger in my heart and then back in a box? Elijah: I've made my case. Your family needs you. And what choice you make right now is your own Rebekah: I owe him nothing. I wish him no joy. No love. I will stay here and live my life the way I want to, and if you're smart, I suggest you do the same (She leaves. He turns himself. Katherine is here) Katherine: She's right. Be smart, Elijah. Klaus is stark raving mad, not to mention completely irredeemable. Leave him to set off on this new adventure and lets you and I go out on ours. I have lost so much of my life to Klaus. So have you. It's our turn. Elijah, please Elijah: Katerina... Good bye (He leaves) [Salvatore's House] (Elena is still in the cell. Stefan and Damon enter) Damon: You look terrible Elena: I'm hungry. Not that you care Damon: But I do. That's the whole point. I do care. You don't care. It's about time for that to change (He gives her a blood bag and she drinks) Elena: Vervain Damon: How does that make you feel? Hurt because I'd betray you? Angry because I'd cause you pain? Or scared? Because you know it's gonna get a lot worse? Elena: You boys want to play games? Go ahead. Let's see who breaks first. Me... or you Ecrit par popo34000

This episode's plot summary may be too long or excessively detailed. Please help improve it by removing unnecessary details and making it more concise. (November 2016) (Learn how and when to remove this template message) The pilot is told from the perspective of Elijah. 300 years ago Elijah , Rebekah and Klaus arrive in the French quarter near the Mississippi River in a voyage along with Finn and Kol daggered in their coffins. Back In Present: Klaus comes back to New Orleans as he got a letter threatening him. Elijah leaves to find his brother coming to New Orleans. As he arrives there first, he finds the witch who called Klaus back, Jane Anne Deveraux. Sabine, also a witch, tells him that she tried to do magic, which has been banned in New Orleans by Marcel Gerard, whom he was shocked to see alive as he thought Marcel was dead. He meets Jane Anne's sister, Sophie Deveraux and other witches of the coven in the cemetery where the witches are buried and they tell him that her sister called Klaus to get rid of Marcel as he was killing the witches who were practicing magic and that there is a werewolf, Hayley, who is pregnant with Klaus's child and he tells him the story of his family and how Klaus is a hybrid and first of his kind. Klaus goes to his old home, the quarter, where he and Marcel argue and then he bites one of his vampires, Thierry, who is Marcel's right hand and Thierry gets sick as a werewolf bite is fatal to a vampire. Elijah calls Rebekah to fill her in about what is going on in New Orleans. Klaus arrives at the Cemetery and is not willing to accept that Hayley is pregnant with his child. Meanwhile, Sophie tells that her sister linked her to Hayley and that what happens to her would happen to Hayley and that's why she would not get hurt as Elijah thinks that this child could bring their family together. They arrive at a house which used to belong to the Mayor. He makes a deal with Marcel to give Jane Anne's body to the witches and to allow them to cremate her instead. Klaus would give his blood to cure Thierry and Marcel agrees. Klaus goes to the quarter and heals Thierry. At the Mayor's house where Hayley is going to stay, Elijah makes Hayley a promise that he will protect her and no one is going to hurt her. The episode ends with Klaus Daggering Elijah which takes us to a flashback when Klaus heals Thierry. Marcel asks Klaus to give him Elijah as he cannot let all the Originals just walking around in the city and Klaus agrees in order to gain Marcel's trust so he can take back his city which he and his siblings built. Rebekah is concerned about Elijah as he is not answering her calls and she gets ready to go back to New Orleans.

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[PREVIOUSLY_ON] MOUTH: Sleep well? MILLICENT: Yep. MOUTH: So, I guess last night we must have... MILLICENT: Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. CHASE: When's the movie start? ALEX: You weren't supposed to read that. CHASE: You weren't supposed to lie about it, either, were you? ALEX: I have to leave next week. VICTORIA: "Closed over bros"! What the hell is wrong with you? I leave you alone and you go back to being that stupid girl who follows her heart. JULIAN: What's wrong? BROOKE: I'm gonna lose my company. BROOKE: For now, I say goodbye to this chapter of my life. And I look forward to what comes next. CLINN'S HOUSE Quinn awakes and enters the living room. she sees Clay with Katie. QUINN: Clay...Oh, my God. KATIE: Hi, Quinn. QUINN: W-what is she doing here? Clay, s-she tried to kill us! CLAY: I've got an idea, babe. Why don't we eat her brains? On the count of two? KATIE: On the count of two. (In fact Clay and Katie have their head has deformed half. Quinn screams) NALEY'S HOUSE Quinn goes to see Nathan who plays video games. QUINN: Nathan, you have to help me. Clay is dead, and he's trying to kill me. NATHAN: Clay's not dead. Not yet. I'll just give him one of my kidneys, and he'll be fine. It's not a match, but he can have it if he wants. (Nathan becomes a zombie) QUINN: Oh, my God. Haley! Haley! Quinn goes up on the floor to find Haley. QUINN: Haley! We have to go now! HALEY: It's too late. Nathan already bit me. QUINN: Oh, my God. HALEY: I think it's only a matter of time before I become a vampire, too. QUINN: You mean zombie? HALEY: I'm pretty sure he's a vampire. QUINN: Okay, look, it's kind of weird to be fighting about this, but he's definitely a zombie. HALEY: We'll just agree to disagree, okay?! Listen to me! You have to take Jamie. (Jamie enters room) JAMIE: Mom? HALEY: You're the only one that can protect him now... From the vampires. QUINN: Damn it, Haley -- (Haley transforms himself into vampire) QUINN: No! Oh, my God! Oh! No, no, no, no! Aah! Oh, my God, no! CLOTHES OVER BROS Quinn and Jamie arrive at the store. They see Brooke and Julian to fight against zombies. QUINN: You guys okay? BROOKE: We're fine. JULIAN: Quinn, toss me that bat. QUINN: Okay. BROOKE: I will not let these vampire bridesmaids ruin our wedding. QUINN: They're zombies! Are you kidding me?! Do you not see how slow they're moving?! Yeah! BROOKE: Nice shot. Don't look at the dress! JULIAN: I'm sorry! I didn't see it! BROOKE: Quinn! Take Jamie and get out of here! QUINN: Okay! Good luck! Jamie. (Jamie, transformed into vampire, thrown on Quinn and bites the neck to her) CLINN'S HOUSE Quinn awakes in start, she has just made a nightmare. She approaches an order and looks at if the revolver is always hidden in the drawer. ONE TREE HILL - CREDITS NALEY'S HOUSE Haley returns from the supermarket, she sees somebody with a mask playing console. HALEY: Hey Betty. Happy Halloween. Well, you'll be happy to know I decided to pass out actual candy this year instead of apples. I know how much that embarrassed you last year. Excuse me. Why...why...why would you put that on when you know how I feel about clowns? Okay, I need you to stop staring at me. (Jamie enters living room) JAMIE: Hi, mom. HALEY: If you're there, who's the creepy serial killer on the couch? JAMIE: That's Chuck. She hates clowns. CHUCK: So does my mom. HALEY: So, uh, where'd you get that awful mask there? CHUCK: It's my dad's. He mostly wears it at night. Mostly. HALEY: Okay. JAMIE: Hey, mom, is dad still taking us trick-or-treating tonight? HALEY: Yeah, he, um... Can't stop talking about it. Trust me, there's nothing else he'd rather be doing tonight. JAMIE: Cool. CLINN'S HOUSE Nathan is with Clay. CLAY: Bobcats' season opener is tonight. I'm sorry you're not there, Nate. NATHAN: Thanks, man. Hasn't really sunk in yet. CLAY: Hey, listen to this. "Agents for Troy Jameson went on record today stating that if a more realistic offer doesn't come in from Atlanta this week, they will immediately halt all negotiations and instruct the star quarterback to re-enter the NFL draft next year." NATHAN: Wow. They're bluffing, right? CLAY: No. Lesson one... these guys don't bluff. If they did, they'd lose leverage on all future negotiations. NATHAN: Leverage for other clients. CLAY: Other prospective clients. Yeah, you're catching on. NATHAN: So you're telling me Troy Jameson could miss out on his entire rookie season because his agents want to use him as an example for future clients? CLAY: Well, yes an... I mean, I'm sure that they're really trying to get him the best deal possible. But to do that, they have to take risks. NATHAN:Yeah, but the guys in the locker room are gonna hold that against him. And if there's one thing I know, it's the second you lose the respect of your teammates, you're done.You might as well pack up and go home. CLUB TRIC Millicent goes to see Mouth. MILLICENT: Happy Halloween, Marvin. I got you a little something. Isn't it cute? MOUTH: I've always thought abnormally small pumpkins were kind of cute. Thanks. MILLICENT: I listened to your podcast last night. I never thought I'd learn so much about the rules of cricket. MOUTH: Well, never hurts to know the rules, Millie. MILLICENT: I'll keep that in mind. Um, so, do you want to hang out later, after the party? MOUTH: Sure. That sounds cool. I'll see you then. MILLICENT: Okay. CHASE: So, you guys are finally back together? MOUTH: Ah, it's not like that. We're just hanging out. CHASE: Okay. This is just an observation, but, uh, I think she thinks you guys are getting back together. See, girls just don't give their pumpkins to anyone. MOUTH: Dude, handle your own girl drama. Mia comes in. MIA: Hey. Where did mouth get that tiny pumpkin? CHASE: Millie gave it to him. MIA: I didn't know they were back together. CHASE: Did you, uh, need a drink or something? MIA: No, I'm good. I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry Alex left town. I never wanted . CHASE: Look, we both know you wanted her gone. And now she's gone. You were right. I was wrong. Just do me a favor...don't pretend you care, okay? CRISIS INTERVENTIONS HALEY: Crisis intervention. ERIN: Hi. Haley? HALEY: Hi. You haven't called in a while. ERIN: I wanted to call, but... I figured I shouldn't be wasting all your time. I'm not the only person with problems. HALEY: Trust me. You're not wasting a second of my time. I look forward to your calls. So as long as you need someone to talk to. ERIN: Slainte, Haley. HALEY: Sorry? ERIN: It means "cheers." HALEY: Oh. Hmm, I like that. ERIN: So I was thinking... You don't even know my name. It's Erin. HALEY: Slainte, Erin. How you feeling today? BRULIAN'S HOUSE Julian comes to see Brooke which bouquine on the catch. JULIAN: How you feeling today, beautiful? BROOKE: Not very beautiful. JULIAN: Oh. Okay. Well, I'm gonna go grab a mirror. Your reflection should take care of that. BROOKE: Stop. I'm not feeling very good about myself right now. JULIAN: You want to talk about it? BROOKE: What's there to talk about? It's gone. Clothes over bros, everything I worked so hard to build... it's all gone. JULIAN: Not all of it. BROOKE: Julian, I signed everything away. JULIAN: Hey, come here. Tell me something. Why was clothes over bros so successful? Actually, I'll answer that. It's because of you. Every design, every detail, every idea came from somewhere inside of you. And that's still there. You can't sign that away. BROOKE: But clothes over bros was me. Without it, I don't really know who I am anymore. JULIAN: Well, good news. Today's Halloween. And even though it's a highly overrated creepy witch holiday, the one perk of it is you don't have to know who you are. You can be anyone you want today. BROOKE: I'll get it. (Somebody knocked on the door, Brooke will open) SYLVIA: Trick or treat! BROOKE: Aren't you a little old to be trick-or-treating? SYLVIA: Ouch. But I guess you're right. So no candy for me. BROOKE: Can I help you? SYLVIA: Is my son here? BROOKE: Oh, please, God, no. JULIAN: Mom? I didn't think you were coming for another couple weeks. SYLVIA: Oh! Well, apparently, I'm getting old, so I figured, why wait? Why waste any more time? Who knows how much time I've got left, right, Brooke? BROOKE: Hi. SYLVIA: Hi. CLINN'S HOUSE Clay practices musculature with help of Nathan. NATHAN: Come on. Is that all you got? CLAY: Yeah. I think I need a break. NATHAN: Question, did you ever let me take a break when I asked you for one? CLAY: Question, have you ever been shot? NATHAN: Please tell me you're not gonna roll that out for the rest of our lives. CLAY: Get used to it, all right? Surviving a gunshot is the ultimate trump card. NATHAN: Okay. CLAY: I was thinking about what you said... about that quarterback, Troy Jameson. NATHAN: Yeah. Do you talk to him? CLAY: No. But you are. NATHAN: Yeah, right. CLAY: I'm serious, Nate. NATHAN: I can't do that. I'm not an Agent. CLAY: Yeah, which is a good thing, because if you were, it'd be tampering. NATHAN: I wouldn't even know what to say. CLAY: I don't need you to prepare a speech or anything, all right? Just talk to him. He's a good kid. And you have a point of view ever get a chance to experience. You've been inside the locker room. You know how these guys think. He'll listen to you. Look, if you want to help me out with the agency, this is where you can start. NALEY'S HOUSE Jamie returns in its room disguised in Harry Potter. CHUCK: Come on, Harry Potter! Quit stalling. I totally would've made a better Harry Potter. Don't you think, Madison? MADISON: No. I think Jamie looks really cute. CHUCK: Hermione has a crush on Ron. MADISON: What are you talking about? CHUCK: In the books. JAMIE: You didn't read the books. CHUCK: In the movies. Hermione has a crush on Ron. That's who she likes. Not Harry Potter. Just so we're all clear. JAMIE: Did I tell you I was gonna dress up as drag leg Laura tonight, but I didn't want Chuck to pee his pants again? CHUCK: I didn't pee my pants. JAMIE: Yes, you did. It was so bad, we had to Wash your clothes in the stream. But don't worry, Chuck. Tonight, my dad will be there to protect you. Oh, and if you have another accident again, we have a washer and dryer here t the house. CLINN'S HOUSE Quinn joins Clay in the bedroom. He prepares a basket of candies. QUINN: Hey. CLAY: Hey, you just missed Nate. QUINN: What's that? CLAY: This is a giant bowl of candy. QUINN: I can see that. What's it for? CLAY: Convenience. You see, this way, te trick-or-treaters can browse through a selection of candies and pick whichever kind they want. See, when I was a kid, I hated that the owner of each house would choose the treat for me. It's Halloween, Quinn. QUINN: I know. CLAY: But you're looking at me like I'm kind of the crazy candy guy. And you're still kind of looking at me like I'm crazy. QUINN: No. I just don't want random strangers on our front porch. CLAY: Well...Random little-kid strangers... Parents... Angsty teenagers who might decide to egg our house later. Hey. You okay? QUINN: Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I just haven't been sleeping much lately. But you know what? You're right. It's Halloween. So let's get dressed up and put out your giant bowl of candy and try to enjoy it. CLAY: Okay. RESTAURANT Troy joins Nathan at a table. NATHAN: Troy. Nathan Scott. Thanks for coming. TROY: You don't have to tell me who you are. You know, my dad took me to the final four when Maryland played Duke. Oh, you were a beast in that game. What'd you end up with, like 30 points? NATHAN: Honestly, I only remember the final score. And I'm pretty sure Duke ended up with more points than us. TROY: Yeah, but you sure did battle that night. It was amazing to watch. NATHAN: Thanks. You know, I've never watched the tape of that game. It was too painful. TROY: You ever need a reminder of how great you were, that's a good one to revisit. So that sucks about your back. I really liked what you said at your press conference the part about when our hearts are willing but our bodies say no. NATHAN: What about when your heart is willing but your agents say no? TROY: You think I'm making a mistake? NATHAN: I'm not here to judge you, Troy. You already know the score. You've missed half the season. There's nothing I can say that will bring those games back. But there still is a lot of football left to be played. And let's face it, you are a football player, a good one. So I think there's a point when you just got to ask yourself, whose holdout is this? Yours or your Agent's? TROY: You know... That question's been floating around in my head for about three months now. And after all this time, you're the first person to ask it. OTHER RESTAURANT Julian lunches with his mother. SYLVIA: I need a drink. JULIAN: What's wrong with the drink you're holding? SYLVIA: It's almost empty. JULIAN: Okay. I can't believe I actually have to ask you this, 333 00:15:09,141 --> 00:15:12,010 but do you like her? SYLVIA: Brooke? JULIAN: No, the waitress. Yes, Brooke. SYLVIA: She is very nice. JULIAN: And... SYLVIA: Well, she strikes me as a little high-maintenance, which wouldn't be a problem if she hadn't just lost all of her money. JULIAN: Look, just get to know her. Okay? Because when you do, I promise you'll fall in love with her just like I did. (Brooke comes in) BROOKE: Hi. Sorry I'm late. I just wanted to stop and pick this up on the way. It's, um, sort of a collection of ideas that I had for the wedding... What's left of them. I know we can't afford most of them now, but I thought you might like to take a look anyway. Might be a nice way for us to get to know each other. SYLVIA: Well... I like that idea. Thank you, Brooke. CLUB TRIC Mouth prepares the party. MILLICENT: Hey. Where's the pumpkin? MOUTH: Which pumpkin are you referring to? MILLICENT: The mini-pumpkin I gave you just a few hours ago. MOUTH: Oh, that one. Where did I put that? MILLICENT: You tried to carve it, didn't you? MOUTH: Yes. MILLICENT: And it caved in? MOUTH: It was a disaster. They should put a warning sticker on those things. MILLICENT: Mini-pumpkins are just for decoration. MOUTH: So, what's up? MILLICENT: Nothing much. I just wanted to stop by and say hi. MOUTH: Look, Millie, I just want to make sure we're both on the same page. MILLICENT: Okay. What page are you on MOUTH: I love hanging out with you.I-I just want to make sure you know it's not serious. We can't jump back into a relationship right now. I'm not ready. MILLICENT: Of course. I understand. MOUTH: You sure you're okay with it? MILLICENT: Yeah. It's no big deal. 377 00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:02,020 To be honest, I had been wondering what this was or wasn't. And, um...Like you said, it never hurts to know the rules. And now I know them. Thanks for telling me. Um, shoot. I got to go. I'll see you later. RESTAURANT SYLVIA: Ah, these are, uh, interesting color choices. BROOKE: Thank you. I thought so, too. SYLVIA: I prefer more traditional tones, but... Well, this could work, in the right setting. JULIAN: Uh, I picked out the flowers. What? I did. SYLVIA: The flowers here they are beautiful, Julian. Oh. Is this the dress? BROOKE: Yes. Don't show that to Julian. SYLVIA: Oh. Sorry. Well, um... So the reason that I came a few weeks early is that I want to help with the wedding. Financially. JULIAN: Mom, what are you talking about? SYLVIA: I'm gonna pay for everything. Whatever you need... JULIAN: Mom, that is SYLVIA: I'm gonna make this the wedding that you both always dreamed of. BROOKE: Sylvia... I don't know what to say. SYLVIA: Well, you can start by calling me "mom." BROOKE: Okay...Mom. SYLVIA: No. After the wedding. BROOKE: Oh. SYLVIA: I'm kidding. BROOKE: Okay. SYLVIA: Welcome to the family, Brooke. Cheers. CLINN'S HOUSE Quinn sees by the camera of the entry that the first children are able to seek candies. QUINN: Clay! Looks like we got our first trick-or-treaters. Time to bust out that giant bowl of candy. CLAY: Here we go! So, what do you think? QUINN: Great. You're a zombie. Hmm? I got fangs. Well. And who are you supposed to be? The weird girl from my 7th grade P.E. Class? QUINN: No. I have a cape, see? I'm super-Quinn. CLAY: I'm not sure that reads. (Clay opens the door) KIDS: Trick or treat! CLAY: You look great. And look what I've got. KIDS: Wow! CLAY: Nice, huh? And convenient. Notice how you get to choose whatever type of candy you want. I'm not randomly picking and tossing into your bag for you. So go ahead. Dig in. That one's good. Move. Quinn sees in the camera that Katie is assembling the steps of the perron. She runs to the door to close it quickly. CLAY: What are you doing? QUINN: It's Katie she's outside. I saw her on the monitor. Clay, she came back. CLAY: Baby... QUINN: No, please. Don't. (Clay reopens the door and actually the mom of the children which assembled the steps) CLAY: I'm really sorry. NALEY'S HOUSE Chuck, Madison and Jamie wait until Nathan is of return to make the round of candies. CHUCK: Where the heck is your dad? All the good candy's probably gone by now. JAMIE: Shut up, Chuck. He'll be here. (Nathan is back) NATHAN: Hey, guys. You ready to go? CHUCK: Yeah. JAMIE: Yes. HALEY: Ooh! Look! You guys look so great in your costumes! Especially you, Chuck. Tanks for not wearing the creepy clown mask. CHUCK: I couldn't. My dad needed it tonight. HALEY: Oh. Well... I wish I hadn't brought it up. CHUCK: Hey. Where's your costume? NATHAN: What is my costume? HALEY: Um, I don't know yet. I'm gonna go shopping with Brooke right now. NATHAN: Great. Do me a favor. Don't get us one of those embarrassing couples costumes. HALEY: Oh. I love them. NATHAN: Seriously? HALEY: No. Couple costumes suck. SHOP BROOKE: So, Julian and I are gonna do a couples costume. Won't that be cute? HALEY: Oh, so cute. What you got in mind? BROOKE: Well, he really hates Halloween, so I'm gonna make it easy on him. All he has to do is wear this clock, and I will go dressed as an orange. HALEY: Hmm. BROOKE: "A clockwork orange." HALEY: Right. I don't get it. BROOKE: It's one of Julian's favorite movies. Stanley Kubrick. HALEY: Yeah. No, I've read the book I just don't know if the concept will read. BROOKE: It'll read. Trust me. What are we getting you and Nate? CLINN'S HOUSE Clay joins Quinn in the bedroom. CLAY: Hey. QUINN: I scared those little girls. CLAY: Yeah, well, they probably would've ended up in therapy, anyway. I thought you were doing better. QUINN: So did I. CLAY: Come here. QUINN: Aren't you scared? CLAY: Yeah, sometimes. But we have to live our lives. We can't live in fear. QUINN: We've been home for almost two weeks. And every night, I have nightmares. And every night, I wake up, and I check the security alarm. So I am living in fear. CLAY: Why didn't you tell me? QUINN: 'Cause I didn't want to burden you. You're still healing. CLAY: Baby, we're both still healing. Is it the beach house, or is it what happened to us? Because if it's the beach house, we can move. QUINN: I don't know. CLAY: Look, I'm gonna suggest something, and I really want you to consider it. I think you should take that photo assignment, the one in South Africa. I think it would be good for you to get away from tree hill for a few weeks, clear your head. QUINN: Clay, I don't want to leave you. CLAY: I'm gonna be okay. I'm not going anywhere. Just promise me you'll think about. QUINN: I just... CLAY: Just think about it, okay? I love you. QUINN: I love you, too. STREET OF TREE HILL The three children make their round. CHUCK: Hey, Madison... Did you notice that I have twice as much candy as Jamie? MADISON: Not really. JAMIE: That's because you keep grabbing handfuls when they say take only one. CHUCK: Don't hate. That's how I roll. How many more houses do we have, anyway? My candy bag is getting way too heavy. JAMIE: Is anybody even home? NATHAN: There's only one way to find out. Go for it. CHUCK: You sure you want to ring that bell? Guess you haven't heard about the guy who lives here. NATHAN: Here we go. JAMIE: What guy? CHUCK: Nobody's ever seen him. But I heard he snatches up kids who step on his porch. Then he makes them eat a bunch of food to fatten them up. Then he cooks them. NATHAN: That's "hansel and gretel." CHUCK: Or maybe he just chops them up. I can't remember. Nobody knows for sure. NATHAN: Okay. Knock it off, Chuck. There's nobody in that house chopping up kids. CHUCK: Yeah. You're probably right. I'm sure it's just a story. But you guys go ahead. I'll wait here. I'd like to live long enough to eat all this candy. MADISON: What do you think? JAMIE: Maybe. We should just go to the next house. BRULIAN'S HOUSE Brooke returns with the disguises but Julian is already disguised in Dalmatien. BROOKE: Julian! Come see your costume! You're gonna love it! What...The hell... Are you wearing? This was supposed to be your costume. JULIAN: You want me to go as flavor flav? BROOKE: Why you disguised yourself in dog, Julian? JULIAN: You'll find out in about three seconds. (Sylvia descends the staircases disguised in Cruella) SYLVIA: Oh, hi, Brooke. Well, what do you think, huh? BROOKE: I thought you said you hated Halloween. JULIAN: And now you know why. STREET OF TREE HILL NATHAN: All right, guys. This is it. Last House of the night. Finish strong. CHUCK: Good idea. I'm going for two handfuls. That's not really what I meant. (Somebody approaches Nathan) MAN: Hey. Nathan Scott. NATHAN: Yeah. Hi. MAN: Wow. This is great. I'm a huge Bobcats fan, huge. NATHAN: I think they're gonna have a good year. MAN: Bet you'd give anything to be playing tonight. NATHAN: Actually, not really. Happy Halloween. CLUB TRIC The party begins. Nathan talks to Chase at the bar. CHASE: Nice! So I guess you'll be drinking bourbon tonight? NATHAN: Sure. That's what ad men drink. Actually, on second thought, I'm just gonna get my drink from mouth no offense. CHASE: Dude, I'm just gonna pour it from a bottle. What could go wrong? Haley and Mia arrive at the party. HALEY: That's like the fourth clown I've seen at this party. MIA: Five. That's a really sad one, too. HALEY: Oh, I hate the sad ones. I know. MIA: Hey. So, what do you think? (They approache to Chase) CHASE: "The little mermaid"? MIA: No. Just a mermaid that happens to be somewhat little. CHASE: Pregnant cheerleader? HALEY: Yep. I'm me in high school. CHASE: Got it. HALEY: I thought you were gonna dress up tonight. CHASE: I did. Dressed up as a guy who keeps getting dumped. HALEY: Well, I'm not sure that reads. MIA: Well, someone should probably go introduce open-Mike night. HALEY: Have fun no jokes. You gonna take it easy on her? Come on. She's trying. Mia launches the contest of the new talents. MIA: Hey, everybody. Thank you all so much for coming out tonight. You all look great. As a lot of you already know, Red Bedroom is always looking for new talent. So take a number if you don't have one and show us what you've got. And whoever's number one... You're up. The first candidate starts to sing. At the same time, Brooke and Millicent arrive at the party. MOUTH: Wow. What are you? MILLICENT: I'm a free bitch, baby. BROOKE: Lady Gaga. MOUTH: Oh. Right. Drink? BROOKE: Yes. Please. I would like the strongest drink you have that wasn't invented by Chase. MOUTH: Listen, Brooke, I haven't had a chance to tell you how sorry I am you had to sell Clothes Over Bros. BROOKE: Thanks. MOUTH: Well, one of the things I've always admired about you is your ability to fight through every obstacle. That's why I know you're gonna be okay because you're you. BROOKE: You're a good friend, Mouth. MOUTH: So, what are you supposed to be tonight? A pumpkin? An orange? BROOKE: I'm actually half of "a clockwork orange." MOUTH: I don't get it. BROOKE: You know. The movie. Stanley Kubrick. MOUTH: Oh. Right. I don't get it. BROOKE: Neither do I. The second candidate sings, Julian and his mother arrives at the party. JULIAN: Hey, Chase. This is my mom, Sylvia. CHASE: Oh. It's nice to meet you. SYLVIA: Hi. I need a drink CHASE: You got it. Just invented a special Halloween cocktail. Want to try it? JULIAN: Oh! Don't do it. Trust me. SYLVIA: That sounds great. Thank you. JULIAN: You've been warned. CHASE: So... Have you talked to Alex? JULIAN: Oh, yeah. Yeah. She's doing great. Uh, the director is a bit of a control freak, but she thinks the movie's gonna be good. I know she misses you, though. CHASE: She say that? JULIAN: Uh... CHASE: Right. So, at have you been up to? JULIAN: I'm, uh, working on a documentary. CHASE: Oh, yeah? What is it about? JULIAN: It's about starting over, you know, what comes next. I'd love to talk to you about it. Maybe... maybe you could be in it. CHASE: Sure. Whenever you want. Let me know. JULIAN: Okay. CHASE: Here you go. And black olives to set the mood. JULIAN: Oh. SYLVIA: Oh. CHASE: I call it the Chase-o-lantern. Enjoy the buzz. SYLVIA: Oh, God. That's bad. That is a bad drink. That is just terrible. Mouth talks with girls. Nathan comes. MOUTH: Yeah. You like these, huh? NATHAN: Nice six-pack. Still douche-y even when the abs are plastic. MOUTH: Yeah, that's what I'm going for. CHASE: Did you ask him? MOUTH: Not yet. I'm getting there. NATHAN: Ask me what? CHASE: You ever high-five Julian? NATHAN: What kind of question is that? CHASE: A straightforward yes-or-no question. MOUTH: You either have or you haven't. NATHAN: No. No, I've never high-fived Julian. Why? Have you guys high-fived him? MOUTH: I was the first. It happened the other day. And based on my experience, I told Chase he should instigate one, as well. CHASE: And I did. NATHAN: And am I missing something? CHASE: You got to do it, Nathan. MOUTH: He's standing right over there. Now's your chance. NATHAN: Are you guys being serious? CHASE: Yeah. If you don't, you'll always wonder. NATHAN: Okay. Nathan goes to see Julian. JULIAN: Hey, Nathan. What's going on? NATHAN: Not much. Just, uh... Just hanging out. Dude, that is an awesome dog costume. High five. JULIAN: Right on. CLINN'S HOUSE The children always comes to claim candies but the light of the perron dies out. Clay will seek a lamp of torch. CLAY: Good night. Sometimes they travel in packs. KIDS: Trick or treat! QUINN: Oh. Oh. CLAY: Uh, sorry for the technical difficulty. I'm going to get a flashlight. You okay? QUINN: I got the giant bowl of candy. CLAY: All right. QUINN: Okay. Here, let me give you some candy. CLAY: Hey, hey. Let them pick their own. QUINN: Oh. Sorry. Forgot the rules. Dig in. Get some candy. Okay, guys, come on. Come on. Dig in. Take as much as you want. Mmm! You want this one? (Clay goes in the room and discovers the revolver in the drawer of convenient) NALEY'S HOUSE The kids make the summary of the evening. CHUCK: Big surprise. Looks like I win. Unless there's a house that we skipped where you can get more candy. Oh, wait. There is. But Jamie was too scared. JAMIE: I wasn't scared. CHUCK: Then prov it. Let's go right now. JAMIE: We don't have anyone to take us. CHUCK: Now you're too scared to walk down the street at night? Maybe Madison and I should find a new friend to hang with. JAMIE: All right, fine. Let's go. STREET OF TREE HILL The kids go in front of the house which frightens them. CHUCK: Well, what are you waiting for? JAMIE: He's probably asleep by now. CHUCK: No way. He's too busy chopping up little kids.I knew you weren't brave enough to ring the bell. Fine. If you're too scared, then I'll go do it. Madison, protect Jamie while I'm gone. CHUCK: See? It's not that scary. (Chuck will sound with the door, nobody does not answer. But after a man traps him and takes him along inside the house) MADISON and JAMIE: Chuck! Chuck! Chuck! Chuck! JAMIE: No, back, back! MADISON and JAMIE: Chuck! Chuck! (Chuck returns with cut cranium, it was a joke to make fear in Madison and Jamie) CHUCK: Thanks, Uncle Joe. We hosed 'em. CLUB TRIC Other candidates, disguised as a clown, finish their songs. MIA: It's over. You can look now. HALEY: A clown band? You kidding me? MIA: Actually, they weren't terrible. Last act of the night coming up. Number 23. HALEY: Oh. Hmm. MIA: So... I never really thanked you for take me in Portland couple weeks ago and it was really good for me to get out of town and gain some perspective. HALEY: Yeah. We all need that sometimes. The twenty-third candidate starts to sing, Haley is surprised by his voice and awaits it in bottom of the scene. Chase goes to see Mia. CHASE: I wanted to apologize for snapping at you earlier. It wasn't fair. I know you're just trying to be my friend. MIA: Thanks. But I have a confession to make. I'm glad Alex is gone. I'm sorry. And I'm not saying it's me. But you deserve somebody who appreciates the kind of man that you are. And I know you're gonna find her, Chase. Mouth will speak in Millie. MOUTH: Millie, you ready to go? MILLICENT: Actually... I found a ride. MOUTH: You're going home with Spartacus? MILLICENT: Just playing by your rules. You ready? MOUTH: Damn it. The candidate finished her song. Halley happiness. HALEY: Hey. You were great, I mean really great. WOMAN: Thanks very much. Slainte. HALEY: Cheers. Brooke goes to talk with Julian's mother. BROOKE: Sylvia...I just wanted to make sure you knew how grateful I am that you're helping us with this wedding. SYLVIA: You're welcome, Brooke. I have a lot of ideas. I think we should consider going with more traditional colors. And I really would like you to take another look at the neckline on that dress. After all, those pictures are gonna last a lifetime. CLINN'S HOUSE Clay asks again the question. CLAY: I want you to take that photo assignment. QUINN: Gallery's gone. CLAY: Then I think it's important that you go. QUINN: Why? CLAY: Because this will save you. This won't. QUINN: I was scared. CLAY: I know. QUINN: I'll go. Just promise me you'll be okay. CLAY: I will be. NALEY'S HOUSE Haley joins Nathan who looks at a match of basketball. HALEY: Whoa. Is that what I think it is? NATHAN: Final four. HALEY: I thought this game was in the vault. NATHAN: You know how there re a handful of moments in your life that you just know while it's happening you're gonna remember it for the rest of your life? I had one of those moments tonight when I looked at Jamie HALEY: Why are you watching this game, Nate? NATHAN: I guess I just needed a reminder. HALEY: Of? NATHAN: My whole life, I knew one thing, that I was great at basketball. I always had that to fall back on. Now that basketball is over, I just... Just keep asking myself the same question over and over. Will I ever be great at anything again? HALEY: You'll find it. If there's one thing that I am not worried about with you, it's that you'll find something to be great at again. Come on. Turn it up. Let's finish the game. NATHAN: We already know how it ends. HALEY: The game... But not the rest of it. Come on. COMMENTATOR: And Scott ties the game on a three-pointer with a minute left to play folks, Nathan Scott is having one of those nights he's going to remember for the rest of his life. End of the episode.

It's Halloween in Tree Hill, and Julian's mother, Sylvia, arrives in town to help plan Brooke and Julian's wedding. She later tries to take over. Quinn deals with living in the beach house still in fear of Katie who is still on the loose. With trick-or-treaters coming to their doorstep, Clay has special rules for the candy. Chase takes out his frustrations on Mia. Mouth sets some boundaries with his relationship with Millie. Meanwhile, Haley continues to provide help for an Irish woman on the hotline she works for. Haley later recognizes the woman's voice as Erin, a singer who enters an open mic night at TRIC. This episode is named after a song by Eminem . Opening theme song performed by Laura Izibor .

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THE TALONS OF WENG-CHIANG BY: ROBERT HOLMES Part Two Running time: 24:26 [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Out! Out! [SCENE_BREAK] LEELA: We might have been killed! DOCTOR: It's ten feet from whiskers to tail. LEELA: We should have taken weapons. DOCTOR: What kind of weapons? You'd need a harpoon to stop that brute. LEELA: Shall we tell the blue guards? DOCTOR: They'd only call a Sanitary Inspector. It's a guard. It's there to keep people away. LEELA: What? Now where are we going? [SCENE_BREAK] CASEY: Ah, it's black as Newgate's knocker down here. It's over this way, Mister Jago. JAGO: Flickering shadows, Casey. Trick of the light. CASEY: Shadows don't groan, Mister Jago. Shadows don't clank chains and moan like all the demented souls in hell. JAGO: There's your ghost. Six-gun Sadie and her Wild West troupe left that behind. All lumber sheet and ninepence, that's what you saw. CASEY: It weren't that old thing. Anyway, I heard it. JAGO: Ah, Casey, you're a pixilated leprechaun. The course of the river Fleet runs right under the foundations of this old theatre. JAGO: What you heard was a clang and the rush of water as they closed the sluice gates down on the Thames. CASEY: Ah, it's easy for you to cast aspersions, Mister Jago. You weren't down here. JAGO: Somebody else has been down here by the look of things. Have you got an admirer, Casey? CASEY: A glove, is it? JAGO: Yes, a lady's glove, monogrammed EB. Perhaps the ghost dropped it, eh? Come on, we've had enough of your spook. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: No plan of the sewers? KYLE: We don't keep plans of sewers here, sir, but as far as I know, they all connect to the Fleet and then down to the river. But if you've got any information, sir? DOCTOR: At the moment, Sergeant, we're looking for information ourselves. KYLE: Professor Litefoot left a message for you, sir. DOCTOR: Did he? KYLE: It says he'd like to see you at the mortuary straight away. DOCTOR: It does. KYLE: He's still there, sir. We found another body outside after you'd gone. DOCTOR: What? KYLE: Another Chinese, sir, just outside. DOCTOR: Very convenient. KYLE: Very mysterious, sir. You wouldn't know anything about it, I suppose? LEELA: Of course we do. I was rescuing the Doctor DOCTOR: Come on, Leela! [SCENE_BREAK] JAGO: Go on home with you, Casey. Straight home. You might get mistaken for one of those girls. CASEY: Aren't you coming, Mister Jago? JAGO: Not yet. Some paperwork commands my presence yet awhile, but I shall doubtless descry those lugubrious liniments at the crepuscular hour. CASEY: Eh? JAGO: See you in the morning. CASEY: You're a card, Mister Jago. A card and a half. JAGO: Jiminy, you made me jump. I thought you'd gone, Mister Chang. CHANG: No, Mister Jago, I have come back to see you. JAGO: See me, Mister Chang? Nothing wrong, I hope? CHANG: Be so kind as to step up to my dressing room, and I will explain. [SCENE_BREAK] JAGO: If it's the terms of our contract, we've been attracting such good houses lately I've already considered drawing up a fresh agreement. The terms I have in mind as such I venture no other management in London would offer an artiste. What would you say to an extra two percent, Mister Chang? Of the gross, naturally. I think you'll agree that's fair. CHANG: Now hear me, Jago. You remember the cab driver, Buller, who came to see me tonight? JAGO: Cab driver. Yes. CHANG: I want you to forget him, understand? You did not see him. JAGO: I did not see him. CHANG: Good. Now you will go from here to your office. When you sit down at your desk, you will remember only that you have just said goodnight to Casey. Is that clear? JAGO: I have just said goodnight to Casey. CHANG: Excellent. Now, go. [SCENE_BREAK] WENG: You are late. CHANG: We should not go tonight, Lord. WENG: I must, every night until the time cabinet is found.) CHANG: You are ill. WENG: I am dying, Chang. You must bring another linnet to my cage. CHANG: But only yesterday WENG: The disease grows worse. Each distillation lasts less than the time before. CHANG: And with every girl reported missing, panic increases. I fear one of them will be traced here. WENG: You must be careful. CHANG: Careful as I am, Lord, there is always risk of discovery. Even tonight I acted quickly to keep our secret. A man was on his way to police. WENG: Bah. Those dumb-witted oxen. Chang, I have given you mental powers undreamt of in this century. You are thousands of years ahead of your time. What can you fear from these primitives? CHANG: True, Lord, I read their minds with ease, but tonight there was a stranger, a man whose thoughts were hidden. A man different from all others. WENG: Describe him. CHANG: He is a doctor. Tall with wide pale eyes and hair that curls like the ram. He ask many questions. WENG: A time agent would not ask questions. A time agent would know. CHANG: But I fear danger, Lord, and have sent a man to kill him. WENG: Your opium-addicted scum are all bunglers, Chang. You should have seen to it yourself. CHANG: If he troubles us further, Lord, I will deal with him personally. WENG: Very well. We're wasting time. Come. [SCENE_BREAK] LITEFOOT: I've taken some of the organs for further tests, but I must confess to being beaten. DOCTOR: Beaten? LITEFOOT: They were both poisoned, of course. One orally, the other intravenously. I understand you suggested scorpion venom? DOCTOR: Yes, in concentrated form. LITEFOOT: I'd like to hear more about that. You're in this line, I take it? DOCTOR: I've dabbled a bit. Dilettante. LITEFOOT: Surely more than that. I got a zoologist colleague to look at our last cadaver. It seems he thinks it's the work of a rat, too. What an amazing night it's been. LEELA: It is not over yet. LITEFOOT: It's been jolly interesting, wouldn't you say? Most of the corpses around here are jolly dull. Now I've got a couple of inscrutable Chinks and a poor perisher who was chewed by a giant rat, having been stabbed by a midget. DOCTOR: A midget? LITEFOOT: Angle of the wound. Oh, upon my soul. I'm sure we shouldn't be discussing such things in front of the fair s*x. Forgive us, ma'am. LEELA: What for? LITEFOOT: For being so indelicate in the presence of a lady of refinement. LEELA: Does he mean me? DOCTOR: I don't think so. LEELA: It's very interesting. You say you can tell the height of the attacker by the way the blade was thrust? But when aiming for the heart, we were always taught to strike under the breastbone. LITEFOOT: Upon my soul! DOCTOR: Savage. Found floating down the Amazon in a hat box. LITEFOOT: A hat box? QUICK: Professor, still here? I've traced our cab driver. Name of Joseph Buller, 14 Fish Lane, this parish. LITEFOOT: Oh, splendid. You can let the coroner have all the details, then. Is there someone to identify the clothing? QUICK: His mother in law, Mrs Nellie Gusset. Same address. Deceased has lived there since his marriage six month ago. DOCTOR: Anything else? QUICK: Sir? DOCTOR: Well, you had a few drinks with Mrs Gusset. Did she tell you anything further about the deceased? QUICK: A bearer of sad tidings, sir. I shared a glass or two while the poor thing got over the shock. Yes, well, she did mention the deceased had been in a queer state all day. DOCTOR: Why? QUICK: Well, it seems his wife, that's Emma Buller, daughter of the house, didn't come home last night. Deceased refused to take his cab out today as a consequence. Deceased then had several drinks and went round the Palace Theatre. LITEFOOT: The theatre? QUICK: Oh, not on pleasure bent, sir. It seems he believed that's where his wife was to be found. Mrs Gusset says he went off making horrible asseverations as to his intentions. LITEFOOT: Yes, well, er, put as much in that report as you think will concern the coroner, officer. It's quite clear the man got stupidly drunk and picked a fight with a dwarf. QUICK: Yes, sir. LITEFOOT: A night's work like that always does wonders for my appetite. I'd be honoured if you'd share some supper with me. DOCTOR: I'd be delighted, Professor. [SCENE_BREAK] LITEFOOT: Of course, the police will have the Buller case cleared up in no time, but the Chinese, different kettle of fish, what? LEELA: Why are you making fire in your mouth? LITEFOOT: Why am I? Upon my sam. Hasn't the girl seen a pipe before? DOCTOR: There's no tobacco where Leela comes from. LITEFOOT: Sounds healthy, but exceedingly dull. Yes, as I was saying, they're a mysterious lot, the Chinese. Enigmatic. I never got anywhere near to understanding them, and I was brought up in China. DOCTOR: Really? What were you doing there? LITEFOOT: My father was Brigadier General in the punitive expedition of 1860. Afterwards he stayed in Peking as a palace attach . Died there in the end, poor old buffer. Fireworks at the funeral. Odd custom. Odd sort of people. LITEFOOT: What's up? DOCTOR: They use fireworks to frighten off evil spirits. LITEFOOT: I know that. Where are you going? DOCTOR: You stay with Litefoot. I'll join you later. Drive on, cabbie. LITEFOOT: Where are you going? DOCTOR: Palace theatre. LITEFOOT: There'll be nobody there at this hour! LITEFOOT: Extraordinary. I say, how can he join us later? I haven't given him m'card. LEELA: Four Ranskill Gardens. He heard you tell the driver. LITEFOOT: Gad, he's as sharp as a trout. LEELA: Trout? [SCENE_BREAK] JAGO: All right. Coming! JAGO: Yes? DOCTOR: Terrible weather for the time of the year. JAGO: The theatre's closed. DOCTOR: Shush. JAGO: What do you want? DOCTOR: Are you the manager? JAGO: I'm the owner, sir. Henry Gordon Jago at the end of a long day, so if you'd kindly state your business. DOCTOR: Henry Gordon Jago, how do you do, sir. I'm the Doctor. JAGO: Doctor? DOCTOR: Exactly. JAGO: Ah, now I've rumbled your game. I admire your brass, but it won't do. Call back on Saturday. DOCTOR: Don't move. Hold that. JAGO: Auditions commence at ten o'clock sharp. Supporting acts booked for one week only. JAGO: Is that all? DOCTOR: No. Dramatic recitations, singing, tap-dancing. I can play the Trumpet Voluntary in a bowl of live goldfish. JAGO: Don't bother coming back on Saturday. DOCTOR: I'm also a master hypnotist. Now then. DOCTOR: How long since you were under the influence, sir? JAGO: I'm a man of character and determination, sir. The Rock of Gibraltar would be more easily, more easily. DOCTOR: Just as I thought, and quite recently, too. What was your last order? JAGO: To remember nothing since I said goodnight to Casey. DOCTOR: Henry Gordon Jago, I command you to remember everything you were ordered to forget. When I count to three, you will remember everything. One, two, three. JAGO: More easily influenced than I would. I have a will of iron. What the Dickens am I talking about? DOCTOR: Did a cab driver come here tonight? JAGO: Yes, there was a fellow burst in and accosted Mister Chang between shows. DOCTOR: What did he want? JAGO: Something about his Emma. Lady friends, no doubt. DOCTOR: Emma Buller, his wife. She disappeared last night. Does Mister Chang by any chance do a vanishing lady act? JAGO: You're not by any chance suggesting that Mister Chang has anything to do with these missing DOCTOR: What is it? JAGO: Emma Buller. DOCTOR: EB. Where did you find this? JAGO: In the cellar. Are you from the police? DOCTOR: I'm helping them. I'd like to see this cellar, Mister Jago. [SCENE_BREAK] WENG: You are certain these are different streets? CHANG: The driver has his orders. Every night we quarter a new sector. WENG: For how much longer? CHANG: Patience, Lord. We know the time cabinet is here. The cabinet of Weng-Chiang in the house of an infidel. We shall recover it. WENG: I grow weary, Chang. CHANG: Tomorrow I bring you two donors. Young, plump, high-spirited girls. The distillation of their life essences will recover your powers, Lord. [SCENE_BREAK] JAGO: It was over here. Here, this is where it was, down here. DOCTOR: What were you doing down here? JAGO: I was reassuring Casey DOCTOR: Who? JAGO: My factotum. He's taken to seeing ghosts lately. He's a good fellow, Casey, but about as sharp as the corners of a round table. Great Jumping Jehosophat! What a spider! That must be the granddaddy of them all. DOCTOR: It's a money spider. JAGO: A money spider? DOCTOR: Yes. JAGO: Don't kill it. DOCTOR: Genetic disruption. Where does it come from? What's under here? JAGO: You mean right where we're standing? DOCTOR: Yes. JAGO: Well, they say the course of the River Fleet runs right DOCTOR: Fleet? JAGO: Yes, the River Fleet runs right under these foundations. DOCTOR: Excellent. We're getting somewhere. [SCENE_BREAK] LITEFOOT: Ah, now, let's see what we have here. Mrs Hudson always leaves me a cold collation. LITEFOOT: Ham, roast beef, chicken, tongue. Those look like quail, unless I'm much mistaken. LEELA: Meat. LITEFOOT: Yes, well, perhaps we shouldn't wait for your friend the Doctor. Help yourself, my dear. Plates on the end of the table. I'll, er, I'll just put a log or two on the fire. LEELA: It's good. LITEFOOT: Oh, I'm so glad. LEELA: Is something wrong? LITEFOOT: No, no. Would you care for a knife or a fork? LEELA: It's a good knife. Aren't you going to eat? LITEFOOT: Yes, yes. LITEFOOT: Just going to eat. [SCENE_BREAK] WENG: Stop! Stop! Somewhere here. Somewhere! One of these dwellings! [SCENE_BREAK] WENG: This is the place, Chang. The time cabinet is in there. CHANG: Leave the rest to your servants, Lord. Go back to your abode. WENG: I must have the time (coughs) cabinet. CHANG: Lord, your weakness grows. Go, go back. Rest. I will bring the cabinet to you. WENG: Very well, but do not fail me now, Chang. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Well, if there is a secret entrance, it's expertly hidden. DOCTOR: How very interesting. DOCTOR: Do you know what this is? Oh, come on, Rock of Gibraltar. [SCENE_BREAK] LITEFOOT: Napkin. LEELA: Thank you, Professor. LITEFOOT: The Doctor's taking a long time. I hope he did note the address. LITEFOOT: Great Scott! LEELA: What is it? LITEFOOT: There's somebody out there watching the house. LEELA: Where? LITEFOOT: Someone stepped back into the shrubbery as I looked out. LITEFOOT: Some scoundrel up to no good. Odd thing. I could swear he was a Chinese. Well, whoever he is, I'll give him more than he expected. No, you wait here. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: How are you feeling? JAGO: The ghost! I saw it. Casey, forgive me. DOCTOR: No. JAGO: I saw it. DOCTOR: It was a hologram. JAGO: I always thought there was something unnatural about that cellar. DOCTOR: There's nothing unnatural about the holograph technique. Projection of light by a laser beam. JAGO: What? DOCTOR: Don't worry. It wasn't known in this century. DOCTOR: Drink this. Go on, you'll feel better. JAGO: What's that? DOCTOR: Shush. [SCENE_BREAK] JAGO: Oh, oh Doctor. DOCTOR: Cheer up, Jago, cheer up. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: He's gone back to his rats. Are you all right. JAGO: Yes, I think so. Who the devil was it? DOCTOR: I've no idea. He didn't introduce himself. JAGO: Shall I call in the local police? DOCTOR: Oh, Henry Gordon Jago. Then our reclusive phantom would simply vanish, poof! JAGO: Oh, good heavens, yes. DOCTOR: We can tackle it together, you and I. JAGO: What are you going to do? DOCTOR: Think. I'm going to have some supper. JAGO: Ah. [SCENE_BREAK] LITEFOOT (OOV.): Nobody out there now. Fellow must have got wind of LEELA: Professor? Are you there? Professor!

After escaping from the vicious giant rat in the sewers, the Doctor & Leela team up with Litefoot. Chang, Mr Sin and Weng-Chiang go in search of the time cabinet, while the Doctor and Jago go in search of Chiang's lair.

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_08x01

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_08x01_0

TERROR OF THE AUTONS BY: ROBERT HOLMES 5:15pm - 5:40pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: EXT. CIRCUS (The colourful tent of the "International Circus" is filling with people. The owner, Luigi ROSSINI, a small rotund man in a check suit and a bowler hat stands outside and watches everybody enter with a nod of satisfaction. He walks round the tent, past the tiger cage and to a quiet spot where he stops to light his cigar. The quiet of the spot is disturbed by the sound of a TARDIS materialising and a brand new looking, blue horse box appears a little way off. ROSSINI looks amazed and frowns, then he goes over and tries to open one of the doors on the rear left-hand side of the box. Failing, he goes round to the other side. Immediately that he has gone the door opens and a smartly dressed black clothed figure jumps out. He has a moustache and beard and dark hair with streaks of grey. He has a compact though powerful demeanour. His movements and manner are precise and controlled. He swings round when he hears ROSSINI'S Italian accent.) ROSSINI: Who the heck are you? Well? (The new arrival looks impassively at the circus owner who has just walked back from the other side of the horsebox. He answers in rich, precise tones.) MASTER: I am usually referred to as the Master. ROSSINI: Oh? Is that so? MASTER: Universally. ROSSINI: Mmm, well I am Luigi Rossini, internationally, and conjurers I don't need. Okay? MASTER: Unfortunately I need you, Lew Russell. (ROSSINI is amazed at this comment and he suddenly drops the Italian accent and speaks in his natural cockney tones.) ROSSINI: What did you call me? MASTER: Lew Russell - it happens to be your real name. ROSSINI: Now listen Mister - get orf my pitch while you're still safe! MASTER: (Menacingly.) Why, you insolent primitive! ROSSINI: Oh, so you it want the 'ard way do you? Right! (ROSSINI reaches out to grab the MASTER but he easily holds his arm him and forces him down. The MASTER stares at him with a hypnotic look, which overcomes the circus owner. The MASTER then lets him go and walks off leaving ROSSINI kneeling on the ground. After he has gone a short distance, the MASTER stops and snaps his fingers. ROSSINI jumps up and follows him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2: INT. NATIONAL SPACE MUSEUM (The clear, plastic like Nestene energy unit sits in an ammunition box. This in turn resides in a glass case in a museum. The black gloved hand of the MASTER smashes the display case. A nearby uniformed ATTENDANT hears the noise.) MUSEUM ATTENDANT: Hey you! What do you think you're doing? (ROSSINI clubs the ATTENDANT down from behind, allowing the MASTER to steal the sphere.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3: INT. UNIT HQ. LABORATORY (The DOCTOR is in a new laboratory at UNIT HQ. Brick walled painted white; it has an upper level reached by a metal spiral staircase and a window overlooking a canal. The TARDIS sits in the corner of the lab. From inside comes the sound of the DOCTOR singing...) DOCTOR: (OOV: Singing) "I don't want to set the world on fire!" (There is a loud explosion and the DOCTOR stumbles out of the TARDIS followed by a cloud of smoke. He coughs and continues to sing quietly to himself as he carries a small multi-pronged circuit over to a lab bench. He sits down and places the circuit with a larger device, which has three aerial like devices radiating back in to a central point. As he continues to work, there is a knock on the green arched metal door to the lab.) DOCTOR: Not today, thank you! (The door opens and JO Grant - a young fair-haired girl, trendily dressed with a collection of rings on all her fingers - nervously steps into the room, carrying a paper file.) JO: Doctor? I er... DOCTOR: (Without looking up.) I said not today, thank you. (The DOCTOR presses a switch on the machine. There is a whirring noise followed by a small explosion within its workings.) DOCTOR: Oh no! (The girl quickly runs over to a nearby fire extinguisher, grabs it and sprays the bench. The DOCTOR jumps back in alarm.) DOCTOR: Oh no! JO: It's all right. I've dealt with it. DOCTOR: Dealt with it? You've ruined it! JO: But your bench was on fire! DOCTOR: (Furiously.) Three months delicate work and now look at it, you ham fisted bung-vender! JO: But this whole place might have gone up in flames! DOCTOR: My dear young lady. Steady state micro welding always creates more smoke than fire. JO: (Puzzled.) Steady state micro welding? DOCTOR: Yes. An advanced engineering technique pioneered by the Lammerdenes. A remarkably gifted race - they have nine opposable digits. JO: Nine what? DOCTOR: Nine opposable digits. (He realises that the girl does not understand.) DOCTOR: Yes, well never mind. (He returns back to the machine but soon realises that JO hasn't gone but is standing watching him.) DOCTOR: Look, I said I don't want any tea today, thank you. JO: I'm not the tea lady. DOCTOR: Then what the blazes are you doing in here? JO: I've come... DOCTOR: (Interrupting.) Don't you know this area is strictly out of bounds to everybody except the tea lady and the Brigadier's personal staff? JO: I'm your new assistant! DOCTOR: (Appalled.) Oh no! JO: The Brigadier sent me along to introduce myself, Doctor. Josephine Grant. (JO holds out her hand and the DOCTOR reluctantly shakes it.) DOCTOR: How do you do Miss Grant? (Gently.) But I...I really don't think you're suitable. JO: (Enthusiastically.) I'm a fully qualified agent, you know - cryptology, safe breaking, explosives... DOCTOR: (Interrupts.) Fire fighting? (JO'S face falls.) DOCTOR: Yes well, I'm sorry my dear but what I really need is a scientist. JO: I took general science at A-Level! DOCTOR: Yes, I'm sure you did, but, even so... JO: I'm sorry I ruined your experiments. DOCTOR: That's all right. (The DOCTOR returns to his work. JO picks up her paper file from a nearby table and takes it over to the lab bench. The DOCTOR looks up and sees that she has returned.) DOCTOR: Look Miss Grant, I've got a great deal of work to do. You must excuse me. (JO, with dogged persistence, opens up her file as the DOCTOR continues to work.) JO: The Brigadier wanted me to show you this report. DOCTOR: (Not looking.) Mmm? JO: Something was stolen for the Natural Space Museum. It was on loan from this H.Q. DOCTOR: (Still not looking.) Oh, what was? JO: (Reading.) "A translucent polyhedron, eight and a half inches in diameter." (The DOCTOR suddenly stands up and grabs the file JO is reading from.) DOCTOR: Well that's the Nestene energy unit! It should never have left this building! JO: Apparently they wanted it for a special display. The Brigadier signed the authorisation. DOCTOR: The Brigadier's an idiot! I knew I should have destroyed that thing but somehow it would have felt like murder. JO: You mean it was alive? DOCTOR: Yes, in a way. Yes, that container held a form of alien intelligence. JO: But you've just got to be joking! DOCTOR: There's precious little to joke about, Miss Grant. That thing is appallingly dangerous. JO: But who would want to steal it? DOCTOR: Exactly. Who and why? [SCENE_BREAK] 4: EXT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT (Two radio telescopes point to the sky in the English countryside. A sign outside some buildings on the ground reads "MINISTRY OF TECHNOLOGY: BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT". A suited man wearing glasses walks towards a large pylon like structure and starts climbing up a metal stairway near to another sign, which reads "DANGER. KEEP CLEAR OF RADIO TELESCOPES".) [SCENE_BREAK] 5: INT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT. CONTROL CABIN (At the stop of the stairway, high above the ground, is a control cabin, which overlooks the telescopes. Inside the cabin, a balding bearded man - GOODGE - works at a console. He wears a white lab coat.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6: EXT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT. CONTROL CABIN GANTRY (The suited man PROFESSOR PHILIPS reaches the doorway and enters.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7: INT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT. CONTROL CABIN (GOODGE immediately starts complaining to PHILIPS.) GOODGE: I told her again last night. PROFESSOR PHILIPS: Hmm? GOODGE: Elsie. "Cut out the hard-boiled eggs" I said. Quite apart from their effects on my digestion, they're aesthetically boring. PROFESSOR PHILIPS: (Not interested.) Uh huh. [SCENE_BREAK] 8: EXT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT. CONTROL CABIN GANTRY (Outside the cabin, the MASTER steps forward and peers into the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9: INT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT. CONTROL CABIN (GOODGE hands PHILIPS a print out from a computer.) GOODGE: Here you are. PROFESSOR PHILIPS: Oh, thank you Goodge. GOODGE: Be anything else? PROFESSOR PHILIPS: No, not for the moment. Oh by the way, talking of eggs, I want a four-hour scan below the hydrogen line tomorrow. GOODGE: All right. PROFESSOR PHILIPS: I'll give you the precise wavelength later. (He leaves the room...) [SCENE_BREAK] 10: EXT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT. CONTROL CABIN GANTRY (...and turns the corner of the cabin towards the stairs. The MASTER steps toward the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11: INT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT. CONTROL CABIN (GOODGE puts a lunchbox and a multicoloured vacuum flask on the table. He opens the lunchbox and takes out a couple of eggs. He starts eating. Behind him the MASTER enters and holds up a small black tube-like device. He points it in GOODGE'S direction. The end of the device glows bright red...) [SCENE_BREAK] 12: INT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM (PHILLIPS enters and sits down at another console in the red-brick lined room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13: INT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT. CONTROL CABIN (The MASTER re-enters the cabin carrying the ammunition box with has the word "UNIT" written on the side. He puts it down on a control console, opens it up and takes out the plastic sphere which now has wires attached to it. The MASTER plugs these wires into the console and then turns some wheel controls. He looks out of the window.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14: EXT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT (The radio telescopes slowly turn into alignment.) [SCENE_BREAK] 15: INT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM (PHILLIPS notices some unusual patterns coming up on a screen. He flicks a communications switch.) PROFESSOR PHILIPS: Goodge! What the blazes is happening? [SCENE_BREAK] 16: INT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT. CONTROL CABIN (The MASTER turns more controls. The sphere starts flashing from within its depths and gives out its familiar signalling sound.) PROFESSOR PHILIPS: (OOV: Over tannoy) Goodge, do you hear me? [SCENE_BREAK] 17: INT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM PROFESSOR PHILIPS: The shaft angling has gone crazy! Are you there, man? Check the feed back control! (Receiving no answer, he runs from the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18: INT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT. CONTROL CABIN (The sphere continues to flash. The MASTER turns the wheel control more. The signalling sound reaches a peak, then the MASTER shuts down the system as he hears PHILIPS approaching the cabin from outside.) PROFESSOR PHILIPS: (OOV: Outside the cabin.) Goodge! What the devil do you think you're playing at? (The MASTER goes to a corner of the room to wait his arrival. PHILLIPS comes in and sees the MASTER. He stops suddenly and looks at the stranger who returns his hypnotic stare...) [SCENE_BREAK] 19: INT. UNIT HQ. LABORATORY (The DOCTOR and the BRIGADIER discuss the latest recruit to UNIT.) BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: You've been agitating for a new assistant ever since Miss Shaw went back to Cambridge. DOCTOR: Liz was a highly qualified scientist. I want someone with the same qualifications. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Nonsense. What you need, Doctor, as Miss Shaw so often remarked is someone to pass you your test tubes and to tell you how brilliant you are! Miss Grant will fulfil that function admirably. DOCTOR: (Mollified.) Oh...Well, what's that girl doing here anyway? UNIT's no place for trainees. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: No, I couldn't agree more Doctor, but Miss Grant was very keen to join us...and she happens to have relatives in high places. DOCTOR: So you tried to palm her off onto me? Well it won't work Brigadier. I'll have a properly qualified assistant or none at all. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Very well Doctor. I'll reassign her. DOCTOR: Good. (He goes back to his bench as the BRIGADIER starts to walk out of the room but the soldier stops at the doorway.) BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: But I think you should break the news to her yourself. DOCTOR: Well now, wait a minute... (The door opens. JO comes inside.) JO: Hi Doc, I... (She sees the BRIGADIER.) JO: Morning Sir. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Good morning Miss Grant JO: I've checked all incoming reports. Still nothing on the stolen meteorite. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Thank you. (JO turns to the DOCTOR.) JO: And I've chased those electronic spares you wanted. They promised delivery tomorrow, without fail. DOCTOR: (Embarrassed.) Er, Miss Grant. I, erm, I er... (JO looks at the BRIGADIER in puzzlement.) DOCTOR: (Coughs.) Well I don't...this is, er, a bit difficult for me to say but... (He throws the BRIGADIER a look.) DOCTOR: Thank you Jo. I can see you're going to be of great help to me. (He glares at the BRIGADIER.) JO: (Delighted.) Thank you, Doctor. (She turns to the BRIGADIER with a sheet of paper.) JO: Report from one of the field sections, Sir - Captain Yates. Some kind of sabotage at a Radio Telescope. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Oh? JO: Two of the scientists have disappeared. DOCTOR: Let me see that. (He snatches the paper and starts to read it.) DOCTOR: We'd better get down there right away. [SCENE_BREAK] 20: EXT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT (The DOCTOR'S car, Bessie drives quickly round perimeter of the Research establishment. The DOCTOR and the BRIGADIER sit up front while JO sits in the back. The car pulls up outside the main one-storey building of the centre where CAPTAIN MIKE YATES, a young staff officer waits for them. He salutes the BRIGADIER and points to a doorway.) CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: The director's expecting you, Sir. DOCTOR: Is that where the sabotage took place? (YATES points at the pylon.) CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: No sir. It seems to have happened in the control cabin in the top of that tower. DOCTOR: Well that's where you'll find me then. (He gets out of the car and JO stands up to follow him.) DOCTOR: No, Miss Grant. You stay here with the Brigadier. (He walks off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 21: INT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM (CAPTAIN YATES leads the BRIGADIER and JO into the main room where the DIRECTOR of the establishment is reading some papers.) CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: Director? Miss Josephine Grant and Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart of UNIT. JO: Good morning. (The DIRECTOR rudely ignores them.) [SCENE_BREAK] 22: EXT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT. CONTROL CABIN GANTRY (The DOCTOR reaches the entrance to the control cabin and is about to open the door when he hears a TARDIS-like materialisation sound. He looks round and sees a man wearing a bowler hat and dressed in smart city clothes, carrying a furled umbrella, materialise - but in mid-air, many feet above the ground!) TIME LORD: Oh dear. Er, don't go away Doctor. (The man starts to glide through mid-air towards the gantry platform.) TIME LORD: My co-ordinates seem to have slipped a little. Still, not bad after 29,000 light years. I do hope you can, er... (Laughs.) ...spare a moment or two Doctor? DOCTOR: Sarcasm always was a weak point with you wasn't it. May I say that I think you look quite ridiculous in those clothes? TIME LORD: I am travelling incognito. DOCTOR: Oh, why? TIME LORD: We Time Lords don't care to be conspicuous. (He looks at the DOCTOR'S red velvet smoking jacket, white frilled shirt and black cloak.) TIME LORD: Some of us, that is... DOCTOR: Now look, if you've come down merely to be rude... TIME LORD: I came to warn you. An old acquaintance has arrived on this planet. DOCTOR: Oh, one of our people? TIME LORD: The Master. DOCTOR: That Jackanapes! All he ever does is cause trouble. TIME LORD: He'll certainly try to kill you, Doctor. The tribunal thought that you ought to be made aware of your danger. DOCTOR: (Sarcastically.) How very kind of them! TIME LORD: (With patience.) You are incorrigibly meddlesome Doctor. But we've always felt that your hearts are in the right places. But be careful. The Master has learnt a great deal since you last met him. DOCTOR: I refuse to be worried by a renegade like the Master. He's a...(Struggles to think.) He's an unimaginative plodder. TIME LORD: His degree in cosmic science was of a higher class than yours. DOCTOR: (Abashed.) Yes, well, er, yes, well I...I was a late developer. TIME LORD: Would you call that little "surprise" unimaginative? DOCTOR: What? TIME LORD: Look through the door...but be careful. (The DOCTOR goes to the door to the control cabin. He is about to open it but the TIME LORD pulls his arm back with his umbrella. The DOCTOR shakes it off and opens the door a fraction.) [SCENE_BREAK] 23: INT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT. CONTROL CABIN (Attached from the top of the door is a taut string running down onto a small cylindrical black object on the control console.) [SCENE_BREAK] 24: EXT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT. CONTROL CABIN GANTRY DOCTOR: That' a volatiser. If that thing should fall... TIME LORD: It will explode...and will probably destroy this Research Centre completely. (He smiles.) You see, he's rigged it up so it opening the door will make it fall. Ha! Such an amusing idea. DOCTOR: Then you'd better think of a witty way of dealing with it. (The TARDIS sound starts up again.) DOCTOR: Now wait! (The TIME LORD shakes his head politely and disappears with a popping sound. In a second he reappears and raises his bowler hat.) TIME LORD: Oh, good luck! (He vanishes again with a pop. The DOCTOR looks at the door, opens it gently...) [SCENE_BREAK] 25: INT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT. CONTROL CABIN (...and feels where the string begins at the top of it.) [SCENE_BREAK] 26: EXT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT. CONTROL CABIN GANTRY (He stands back and takes a run up at the door...) [SCENE_BREAK] 27: INT. BEACON HILL RESEARCH ESTABLISHMENT. CONTROL CABIN (It flies inwards and the DOCTOR falls down catching the volatiser in his hands. With a sigh of relief, he sits on the floor and slowly unscrews the device. There is the sound of footsteps from outside the cabin as CAPTAIN YATES walks up the stairs and into the room.) CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: Any luck? DOCTOR: Keep back. CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: What's that? DOCTOR: A bomb. CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: A bomb! Is it defused? (The DOCTOR finishes unscrewing the bomb and carefully takes it apart.) DOCTOR: It is now. CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: Where on earth did you find it? (There is a coughing from behind. The DIRECTOR stands in the doorway.) CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: Oh I'm so sorry. (To the DOCTOR) Er, this is the Director. RADIO TELESCOPE DIRECTOR: How do you do? I hope you realise that the police have already investigated this matter. DOCTOR: (Interrupts.) Where's Lethbridge Stewart? CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: He and Miss Grant are questioning the staff. DOCTOR: Oh, a fat lot of use that'll do. (The DOCTOR starts to look round the cabin.) RADIO TELESCOPE DIRECTOR: After all, it's hardly an international matter, is it? DOCTOR: I understand you've lost a couple of scientists. RADIO TELESCOPE DIRECTOR: Yes - Professor Philips and his assistant Goodge. (There is a pause as the DOCTOR sees the broken eggs and lunch box on the bench.) RADIO TELESCOPE DIRECTOR: Goodge must have left in quite a hurry. DOCTOR: Yes. Yes he must. (The DOCTOR opens the lid of GOODGE'S lunch box and looks inside.) DOCTOR: (Shocked.) Oh no! CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: What's wrong? DOCTOR: Look for yourself. (YATES and the DIRECTOR step forward and looks in the lunchbox.) RADIO TELESCOPE DIRECTOR: It's Goodge! (Inside the box is the dead, miniaturised form of GOODGE.) [SCENE_BREAK] 28: INT. PLASTICS FACTORY. OFFICE (The MASTER, dressed in a smart business suit, speaks with the Manager of a Plastics Factory in his office. REX FARREL is a thin middle-aged dark haired nervous individual.) MASTER: I'm very glad that you could see me at a short notice, Mr. Farrel. REX FARREL: well, your telephone call was pretty intriguing, Colonel. Er, do sit down. MASTER: Oh thank you. (The MASTER sits down.) REX FARREL: Er, we, er, do have a little spare capacity at the moment. MASTER: I would say more than a little considering that your plant has been working at less than half volume for over a year. REX FARREL: Er, I see you've done you homework Colonel. Well, I, er, admit I was interested when you mentioned a steady repeat order. MASTER: The people I represent, Mr. Farrel, can never have too much plastic. [SCENE_BREAK] 29: INT. UNIT HQ. LABORATORY (The DOCTOR examines the volatiser with the aid of a jeweller's glass.) JO: What is a Nestene? DOCTOR: Ask Captain Yates. He had the job of clearing up the mess last time. JO: (To YATES.) Well, what is a Nestene? CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: (Unsure.) Oh, a Nestene? Erm, a, er, huh, well it's a bit difficult to describe exactly... DOCTOR: A Nestene is a ruthlessly aggressive intelligent alien life form. JO: Well, what do they look like? DOCTOR: Well I expect myself their basic form is analogous to a Kethlapod. JO: What's a Kethlapod? DOCTOR: An Octopus. I thought you took an A-Level in science. JO: I didn't say I passed! Ergh! An octopus! (The DOCTOR goes over to a coat-stand and starts to don a silver heat-resistance apron and gloves.) DOCTOR: They manifest themselves as a disembodied, mutually telepathic intelligence. JO: But if they're disembodied, how can they hurt us? CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: They make themselves bodies when they need them. JO: (Shocked.) You mean like Frankenstein? DOCTOR: No. They have a natural affinity for plastic. Now if you've quite finished asking questions? JO: (Hurt.) Sorry. Just forget I'm here. CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: At least we should be ready for them this time. DOCTOR: Too late, Captain. They're here already. JO: What? DOCTOR: The Radio Telescope is their bridgehead. They used that to contain energy into that surviving Nestene unit. (The BRIGADIER enters the room.) DOCTOR: Brigadier, look, that unit must be discovered within the next hour. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Yes, I'm well aware of the urgency of the situation, Doctor. If we had some idea where its been taken. DOCTOR: Well try the plastics factories man! BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Realising the suggestion is a good one.) Yes...I'll set up a search straight away. Yates! CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: Right sir. (CAPTAIN YATES starts to follow him out.) JO: Can I help sir, please? BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Very well Miss Grant. JO: I'll start by making out some lists. [SCENE_BREAK] 30: INT. PLASTICS FACTORY. OFFICE (The MASTER'S hypnotism skills have found a new victim in REX FARREL...) MASTER: You will obey me and no one else. Do you understand? (FARREL falls under the Time Lords influence...) REX FARREL: I shall obey...I shall obey...I shall obey. [SCENE_BREAK] 31: INT. UNIT HQ. LABORATORY (The DOCTOR works on a kiln-like machine whilst advising the BRIGADIER of the arrival of his adversary. As they speak the machine produces a great deal of heat and smoke.) BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: And you're convinced this man is working with the Nestenes? DOCTOR: Oh I should think by now he's calling himself their commander in chief. Vanity's his weakness. (He turns a wheel on the machine and opens up the side.) DOCTOR: Ah. There you are. (He takes out the bomb.) DOCTOR: It should be cooked by now. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: This, er, this device of his. Is it very powerful? DOCTOR: Oh I should say roughly equal to a fifteen megaton bomb. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Really? Well the research boys will be glad to get their hands on this. DOCTOR: Too late Brigadier. I've boiled out the contents. (The BRIGADIER looks on open-mouthed.) DOCTOR: The weapons that you have on earth are quite nasty enough as it is. [SCENE_BREAK] 32: INT. PLASTICS FACTORY. WORKSHOP (The MASTER plugs the glowing Nestene unit into a large piece of machinery. REX FARREL watches. They walk off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 33: EXT. PLASTICS FACTORY. PERIMETER (JO scrambles down a grass bank on the perimeter of the factory.) [SCENE_BREAK] 34: EXT. PLASTICS FACTORY (The MASTER and FARREL walk out of the workshop.) MASTER: (To FARREL) Now the computer. REX FARREL: This way. (FARREL gestures to one side. The MASTER walks off, followed by his servant.) [SCENE_BREAK] 35: EXT. PLASTICS FACTORY. STOREYARD (JO hides behind some plastic boxes as she hears voices. It is the MASTER and REX who walk towards her hiding place.) REX FARREL: What are you going to do? MASTER: I wish to alter the masterplan. REX FARREL: But that would change our whole production lines! MASTER: Naturally. REX FARREL: My father would never dream of... MASTER: (Interrupting.) Mr. Farrel, don't worry about him. You are under a new firm now. (They walk off past JO without seeing her. She stands up to see where they have gone and knocks over some plastic crates. She quickly ducks down, waits a moment and then cautiously stands up. REX and the MASTER are still there and watching her.) JO: Oh, hello! (The MASTER stares impassively at her.) [SCENE_BREAK] 36: INT. PLASTICS FACTORY. OFFICE (JO stands hypnotised in the middle of the room whilst being questioned by the MASTER.) MASTER: Who went to the Radio Telescope Station? (JO answers in a dull, expressionless voice...) JO: Myself, the Brigadier and The Doctor. MASTER: Ah - as I thought. Curiosity is his weakness. Well, I should have to see that it is satisfied. You will return to UNIT with a negative report. You found nothing suspicious. Everything was in order. JO: Yes. Everything is in order. MASTER: When you leave this room you will have no memory of meeting me, only Mr. Farrel. JO: Only Mr. Farrel. MASTER: Your instructions are already implanted. You will obey them without a further word from me. JO: I shall obey. MASTER: Good. [SCENE_BREAK] 37: INT. UNIT HQ. LABORATORY (SERGEANT BENTON enters the laboratory.) CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: Yes, what is it Sergeant? SERGEANT BENTON: Excuse me sir, I just had a call from the civil police. They found Philip's car abandoned. CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: Where? SERGEANT BENTON: In a field about nine miles away from the research station, and they say there's a zinc box in the boot...with UNIT markings. CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: The energy unit? (BENTON turns to the DOCTOR, who stands some feet away, deep in thought.) SERGEANT BENTON: I've told them not to touch it, Doctor. CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: What do you think, Doctor? DOCTOR: I still am. CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: Huh? DOCTOR: Thinking. [SCENE_BREAK] 38: INT. PLASTICS FACTORY. OFFICE (REX has received a visit from the outraged production manager of the factory - an Irish man named McDERMOTT. Taller and slightly older than REX, he has a paternalistic attitude towards him...) McDERMOTT: I think you'd better go home. Look, I know all our customers and there isn't a, er, Colonel Masters amongst them. REX FARREL: You're quite wrong, James. He's taking over our entire production at the moment. McDERMOTT: Entire? Here look, I'll tell you what, Rex. You look through those orders, yes, and you show me this chap. Go on. REX FARREL: (Snaps.) All right. (He goes over to a filing cabinet, opens it and looks through some files. He holds his head, seemingly in pain.) REX FARREL: I don't understand! There should be a card for him! McDERMOTT: Look Rex, I think you ought to take a couple of days off. I'll ring your father and he can come... (REX slams the drawer shut.) REX FARREL: May I remind you, Mr. McDermott, that my father is retired. I'm running this place now. McDERMOTT: Your father built this place up from nothing. Sure I remember when I was a wee lad, he... REX FARREL: All right, all right, all right! Let's not go over all that again. McDERMOTT: Look, I'm sorry Rex, but I especially promised your father... REX FARREL: There's no need to bring father into it! (He opens the office door to leave.) REX FARREL: Look. I'll go and fetch him. He's only down in the lab. McDERMOTT: Who? REX FARREL: Colonel Masters of course. He'll explain everything. (REX leaves. McDERMOTT walks over to the desk and picks up a telephone. He starts drumming his fingers in impatience.) McDERMOTT: (Into telephone.) Sylvia? Get me Mr. Farrel Senior, please. [SCENE_BREAK] 39: INT. PLASTICS FACTORY. LABORATORY (In a laboratory, lined with computer units, the MASTER stands over three motionless, featureless figures lying on a table. They are Autons. He disconnects one of them from the pulsating sphere. He motions to it and it sits up.) [SCENE_BREAK] 40: INT. PLASTICS FACTORY. CORRIDOR (REX FARREL approaches the door to the laboratory. He stops when he sees a sign on the door which reads "RESEARCH LABORATORY - NO UNAUTHORISED ENTRANCE". He opens the door to the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 41: INT. PLASTICS FACTORY. LABORATORY (An Auton stood on guard behind the door starts to swing down its arm on FARREL but the MASTER shouts out a command to stop.) MASTER: No! Don't be frightened Farrel. The Autons are my servants. Why do you come here? (REX cringes in fear and looks at the MASTER...) [SCENE_BREAK] 42: INT. UNIT HQ. LABORATORY (YATES and BENTON stare at the ammunition box which had contained the Nestene control unit. JO stands a few feet behind them, staring intently.) CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: Hmm, that's not an issue padlock, is it? SERGEANT BENTON: No. I'll try and find some keys. (JO steps forward.) JO: I can open it. (She takes a huge bunch of skeleton keys out of her pocket and starts to try them one by one on the padlock.) CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: Keys for every occasion, eh! (He walks over to the metal spiral staircase and shouts up it.) CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: Doctor! We've got the box down here! DOCTOR: (OOV.) Good. I'll be right down. (JO succeeds in opening the padlock. She starts to prise the lid apart and smoke begins to pour out as the DOCTOR reaches the bottom of the stairs and sees what's happening.) DOCTOR: Stop her! That's a bomb! (YATES runs forward but the possessed JO punches him sharply in the stomach and the winded officer falls to the ground. JO turns back to the ammunition box.) JO: I've got to open it! I've got to! (Smoke continues to pour out...)

When a Nestene Energy Unit is stolen and a radio telescope sabotaged, the Doctor is contacted by a Time Lord who tells him his old rival the Master is responsible.

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_25x06

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_25x06_0

THE HAPPINESS PATROL PART TWO Run time: 24:48 [SCENE_BREAK] Kandy Kitchen [SCENE_BREAK] Kandyman: Welcome to the Kandy Kitchen, gentlemen. The Doctor: I'm sure the pleasure's all ours. Kandyman: I do hope so. I like my volunteers to die with smiles on their faces. [SCENE_BREAK] Street [SCENE_BREAK] Ace: Evil. What's going on here? Daisy: It's of no consequence. Ace: I'd say they look rather upset about something. Daisy: They're fools. They think they will achieve something with their march. Ace: Demonstration? Wicked. Daisy: All they will achieve is their extinction. Ace: So Helen A doesn't allow demos. I could have guessed as much. Daisy: Of course she allows demos. These are killjoys, and worse than that, they're drones. Ace: Drones? Daisy: Workers from the flatlands. It's forbidden for them to enter the city. That's why they'll never leave it alive. Ace: You're scared of them, aren't you. Up the killjoys! Ace: Gordon Bennett. Mmph! [SCENE_BREAK] Kandy Kitchen [SCENE_BREAK] Kandyman: This is where you come in, gentlemen. The interesting part. The tasting. The Doctor: May we enquire what it is? Kandyman: Ah, a labour of love, Doctor. A labour of love. The Doctor: I didn't know you were the caring type. Kandyman: Just because Helen A prefers my ugly side doesn't mean I don't care, does it, Gilbert M? Gilbert M! Gilbert: Oh, no, of course not. Kandyman: Thank you. And just because she employs me as her executioner doesn't mean I can't be creative. No need to worry, gentlemen. Tonight you see before you the artistic, sensitive side of me. So I make sweets. Not just any old sweets, but sweets that are so good, so delicious that sometimes, if I'm on form, the human physiology is not equipped to bear the pleasure. Tell them what I've tried to say, Gilbert. Gilbert: He makes sweets that kill people. [SCENE_BREAK] Waiting zone [SCENE_BREAK] Ace: Wotcher. Like your new prison. Priscilla: On Terra Alpha there... Ace: Yeah, yeah, on Terra Alpha you don't have prisons. Priscilla: We have the Waiting zone instead, and the Waiting zone moves to different places in the city according to the time of night. Ace: Waiting zone? Who are you kidding? Priscilla: Some people don't have to wait in the Waiting zone for very long. [SCENE_BREAK] Kandy Kitchen [SCENE_BREAK] Kandyman: Now, let's see what we've got for you. The Doctor: Before you start, there is something I wanted to ask you about that's been worrying me. It's the executions. Kandyman: What about them? The Doctor: Well, out there, people don't seem to know what method you use. I was intrigued. Kandyman: I didn't realise you were conceding an interest in the mechanics of execution, Doctor. A man after my own soft centre. The Doctor: I was just curious. Kandyman: The secret's in the pipes. Vanilla secret tomorrow night, I think. Just when the victim thinks he's been pardoned it flows into the yard and smothers him. It's ingenious, isn't it. The Doctor: Depraved. Kandyman: We call it Fondant Surprise. The Doctor: Is there any way of stopping it once it starts moving? Kandyman: The foam can be diverted down another pipe, but I'm not going to tell you how. Anyway, it's a hypothetical question. What reason could I possibly have for stopping an execution? The Doctor: Er, you said soft centre? Kandyman: Did I? The Doctor: Yes, you said soft centre instead of heart. What is your heart made of? Kandyman: Difficult to say. It's all in there somewhere. Caramel, sherbet, toffee, marzipan, gelling agents, it's all in motion. The Doctor: Ah! A movable feast, eh? Kandyman: Very droll, Doctor. The Doctor: So you're perfectly adapted to your environment. Kandyman: Perfectly. The Doctor: Protected against everything. That is, except from the intense heat from that open oven behind you. Kandyman: What! The Doctor: I said, protected against everything except for the intense heat from the open oven behind you. Kandyman: Silence! The Doctor: And, of course, the adhesive effect of carbonated H2O and citric acid. Lemonade, to you. Kandyman: Gilbert! Gilbert, where are you? Kandyman: Gilbert, come here! Gilbert. Gilbert! Gilbert, they're getting away from here! You'll be sorry! The Doctor: Sweet dreams. Kandyman: Gilbert! [SCENE_BREAK] Pipe [SCENE_BREAK] Kandyman (O.C.): Gilbert! Gilbert! [SCENE_BREAK] Waiting zone [SCENE_BREAK] Priscilla: What's this? Ace: I'll show you. Just trying to be friendly. Priscilla: This is some kind of an explosive device. I used to work with explosives when I was in Happiness Patrol B, the anti-terrorist squad. We worked the night shift. I like working late at night. Ace: Not interested. Priscilla: Night times are when they come out. Ace: Who? Priscilla: The killjoys. Depressives, manic reactive endogenous. We got them. All of them. Ace: What do you mean, got them? Priscilla: They disappeared. Ace: You make me sick. Priscilla: I did a good job, and then they put me on this. It's not fair. I know the streets. I'm a fighter. Ace: No, you're not. You're a killer. Susan: Yes, she is. Priscilla: I am what I am. [SCENE_BREAK] Pipe [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: It's crystallised sugar. This pipe must have carried some sort of syrup. What do you think? Earl: Not good, but I have tasted the real thing. The Doctor: So it's certainly past its best, so we can assume that nothing's been pumped down here for some time. I wonder why? How would you describe the Kandyman's confection? Earl: It can only be the work of a schizophrenic obsessive. The Doctor: Ah, yeah. Delicious. The Doctor: Wait until we're in another section. Earl: Why are you whispering? The Doctor: There's tons of crystallised syrup above us. Earl: Ah, any sudden noise could cause it to collapse. The Doctor: Not any noise, just certain noises. Earl: That's reassuring. [SCENE_BREAK] Kandy Kitchen [SCENE_BREAK] Kandyman: Where have you been? Gilbert: Ingredients. Kandyman: Leaving me to be humiliated. They'll suffer for this. Gilbert: Anything you say, Kandyman. Kandyman: You'll pay for this. I'm going to crush you. Gilbert: That's it, scream and shout, rant and rave. But remember this, Kandyman. Symbiosis. You need me and I need me. Kandyman: You need you? Gilbert: I need me. Kandyman: I need you and you need you. Gilbert: That's right. And just as you're squeezing the breath out of me, your candy hand tightens round your own throat. [SCENE_BREAK] Pipe [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: Oh look. Some sort of footprint. Earl: I wonder what kind of creature could have caused that? The Doctor: Their kind of creature. [SCENE_BREAK] Waiting zone [SCENE_BREAK] Ace: It's all my fault. You'd have been all right if you hadn't met me. Susan: It would have happened sooner or later. I'm not Helen A's idea of good Happiness Patrol material. She won't shed any tears over me. Let's face it, no one will. Even if they wanted to, they wouldn't be allowed. Ace: But what now? Susan: Well, I'll just disappear like the rest of them. Just another of Helen A's victims. Ace: I won't let it happen. We'll escape. I'll save you. Susan: Don't worry. I'm happy that it's finally over. It's funny, that, isn't it. It's the first thing I've been happy about for ages. [SCENE_BREAK] Pipe [SCENE_BREAK] Wences: Back! Weapons. The Doctor: No weapons. Just a brolly. Wulfric: Weapons! Wences: Weapons! Earl: Easy, easy. Wences: Wicked. The Doctor: What did you say? Wences: Wicked. Earl: He's hip for a little guy. The Doctor: He's been taking lessons. So you've met my friend Ace? Wences: Not Ace. Wulfric: Brave girl. Wences: Captive. The Doctor: That sounds like Ace. Brave girl, captive. If only she'd listen to what I tell her. Wences: Not Ace, Gordon. The Doctor & Earl: Gordon? Wences: Bennett. [SCENE_BREAK] Helen A's office [SCENE_BREAK] Helen: Happiness will prevail. Happiness Patrol section C please stand by for the first stage of a routine disappearance. And don't forget, when you smile, I want to see those teeth. Helen: I think I'll let you handle this one. [SCENE_BREAK] Waiting zone [SCENE_BREAK] Priscilla: Time for you to go. Ace: Leave her alone! Susan: I'm not ready. Priscilla: No one ever is. Priscilla: Steady. Susan: Just let me say goodbye to my friend, please. Priscilla: Why? What's the point? Take her away. Ace: Just one question. How do you live with yourself? Priscilla: She was never any good. She never had the right attitude. She never joined in. She wasn't part of the team. Ace: She was my friend! Wences: Ace! [SCENE_BREAK] Pipe [SCENE_BREAK] Earl: What's wrong with these little guys? The Doctor: Well, they may not look like it, but they're on the edge of starvation. No sugar in the pipes. Earl: Why can't they live on the surface? The Doctor: They used to, but they were driven down here by human settlers. Earl: By us? The Doctor: Yes, us. Ah, here we are. Seventh manhole on the right. I'll go first. It's been a privilege. We shall return. [SCENE_BREAK] Street [SCENE_BREAK] Trevor: Name? The Doctor: I'm the Doctor. Have we met? Trevor: I'm sorry, that's classified information. The Doctor: You're Trevor Sigma, aren't you. Trevor: Galactic Census Bureau. I ask the questions. The Doctor: You ask the questions? Trevor: I'm sorry, that's classified information. Address? The Doctor: Which one? Trevor: If you live here, I need a town and street. If you're an alien, I need a home planet except when you spend more than half the working year away, in which case I need a planet of origin. The Doctor: That's classified information. Name? Trevor: What? The Doctor: I ask the questions. The Doctor: Name? Trevor: Trevor Sigma. The Doctor: Address? Trevor: Galactic Centre. Earl: What's happening, Doc? The Doctor: Questionnaire. Occupation? Trevor: Galactic Census Bureau, authorised to enter all Alphan property and to interview all Alphans. The Doctor: Good. Take me to the leader. Earl: Got places to go, Doctor. The Doctor: I'll find you later. Earl: How? The Doctor: The brandy of the damned. Earl: Oh, the blues. You're a nice guy, Doctor, but a little weird. The Doctor: Enough of the little. Trevor: That's nice. It makes me feel sort of, er, sort of, er... The Doctor: Melancholy? Trevor: Yes, that's it. A pleasant melancholy. [SCENE_BREAK] Helen A's office [SCENE_BREAK] Helen: Priscilla P was overpowered by a defenceless girl and a vermin. Is it a joke, Daisy K? Daisy: No, ma'am. Helen: Oh, what a shame. I enjoy a good joke. Where did this guerilla unit disappear to after they had dealt with Priscilla P? Daisy: They went down the pipes. Helen: Ah, the pipes. Excellent! Fifi's been eating far too many chocolates lately, haven't you, my darling. She could do with a bit of sport. [SCENE_BREAK] Street [SCENE_BREAK] David: Here we are. Look at that. Alex: I can't believe we're doing this again. David: The mark three. Alex: Roof duty. David: The prototype for the mark four must be ready, for the women. Alex: Don't see any women doing roof duty. Women always get the better jobs. David: Women always get the best guns. [SCENE_BREAK] Pipe [SCENE_BREAK] Ace: Nice pipes. Reminds me of Perivale. Wences: Nice. Ace: Not that nice. Wences: Own bed. Ace: Careful with that can or we'll end up as grafitti. [SCENE_BREAK] Helen A's home [SCENE_BREAK] Joseph: Will you come this way, gentlemen? It's Trevor Sigma, dear, and er. Helen: I'm glad to see you again, Trevor. I don't think I've had the pleasure. The Doctor: It's no pleasure, I can assure you. Helen: How very kind. Joseph: Are you with the Bureau as well? The Doctor: I'm sorry, that's classified information. I understand you're responsible for this planet? Helen: We do our best. The Doctor: And is it a happy planet? Helen: I think you'll find everyone on Terra Alpha is very happy. The Doctor: Some people on Terra Alpha are very difficult to find. Helen: Well, I'm sure that Trevor Sigma will sniff them out for you, won't you, Trevor. The Doctor: I'm sorry, he's not allowed to answer that. Helen: I'm glad that you're here, Trevor. I wanted to tell you that I have adopted the Bureau's recommendations on population control. The Doctor: Which were? Helen: To control it. We have controlled the population down by seventeen percent. The Doctor: I'm sure you have. Helen: Over crowding has been quite eliminated. Joseph: No more queues at the Post Office. The Doctor: And did you use the Bureau's programme? Helen: Not quite. I found my own programme to be more effective. Helen: Oh, if you will excuse me, gentlemen. Joseph C will take care of you. Joseph: I say, Trevor, do we have to go through with this census business? Things haven't changed much since you were last here. Trevor: Full planetary census every six local cycles. That is the rule. Joseph: Oh, very well. A splash of lemonade and I'll show you the Floral Clock. What about er? Is he coming? The Doctor: He can't. He has a prior engagement. Trevor: Where are you going? The Doctor: Remember, Trevor, I ask the questions. [SCENE_BREAK] Helen A's office [SCENE_BREAK] Helen: Routine disappearance number five hundred thousand and five. Calling Happiness Patrol section C. Preparations are now complete. Stand by to escort killjoy into execution yard. Happiness will prevail! The Doctor: Population control? Helen: Look, who are you? The Doctor: And which member of the population are you controlling today, just for the record. Helen: A woman who disappointed me. The Doctor: And how did she disappoint you, eh? Oh, no, no, don't answer, no, no. She enjoyed the feel of rain upon her face. Or perhaps her favourite season was the autumn. Helen: You talk too much, whoever you are. The Doctor: Was that question? Helen: No. The Doctor: Good. I'm the Doctor. Still no luck? I'd have that seen to if I were you. [SCENE_BREAK] Helen A's home [SCENE_BREAK] Joseph: A touch more lemonade? The Doctor: Ah, thank you. Joseph: Strange chap. [SCENE_BREAK] Pipe [SCENE_BREAK] Wences: There. Ace: Where? Ace: Which way? Gordon Bennett. The Nitro, quick. The can! Keep down. [SCENE_BREAK] Kandy Kitchen [SCENE_BREAK] Kandyman: What's affected me? Help me! Gilbert: It's quite simple. Created as you are out of glucose based substances, your joints need constant movement to avoid coagulation. Kandyman: What do you mean? Gilbert: You're turning into a slab of toffee. I saw this at the planning stage, and then I realised what the solution was. Kandyman: What's that? Gilbert: I've forgotten. [SCENE_BREAK] Street [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: That sounds like a three star brandy to me. Earl: Hey, Doc. There's a demonstration. Workers from the sugar factory striking over Happiness Patrol murders. The Doctor: Ooo, I'd like to talk to them. Earl: It's too dangerous. They're pinned down by a couple of snipers. The Doctor: Oh dear, I'd better hurry. I've got to get to the Kandy Kitchen. Earl: Not the Kandy Kitchen. The Doctor: Don't worry, I'll deal with the snipers. [SCENE_BREAK] Roof [SCENE_BREAK] David: Pick your gun up. Alex: Why? There's no one there. David: You're right. They've all gone to ground. Alex: I don't mind. Good luck to them. David: Shut it. Wait a minute. There's one. It's all right, I'll have him. Just let him get a little closer. Alex: Wait, he's not a drone. David: He's fair game, and you're heading that way. All right, come on. Come and say hello. The Doctor: Hello. David: Get back or I'll use the gun. The Doctor: Yes, I imagine you will. You like guns, don't you. David: This is a specialised weapon. It's designed for roof duty, designed for long range. I've never used one up close before. Alex: Let him go. David: No. The Doctor: No. In fact, let him come a little closer. David: Stay where you are. The Doctor: Why? Scared? Why should you be scared? You're the one with the gun. David: That's right. The Doctor: You like guns, don't you. Alex: He'll kill you. The Doctor: Of course he will. That's what guns are for. Pull the trigger, end a life. Simple, isn't it. David: Yes. The Doctor: Makes sense, doesn't it. David: Yes. The Doctor: A life killing life. Alex: Who are you? The Doctor: Shut up. Why don't you do it then? Look me in the eye, pull the trigger, end my life. Why not? David: I can't. The Doctor: Why not? David: I don't know. The Doctor: No, you don't, do you. The Doctor: Throw away your gun. [SCENE_BREAK] Execution yard [SCENE_BREAK] Daisy: And so you have been sentenced to the severest penalty decreed by Helen A. Susan: I'm glad. Daisy: I'm happy you're glad. Patrol! Dismissed. [SCENE_BREAK] Helen A's office [SCENE_BREAK] Helen: Excellent. The Fondant Surprise. [SCENE_BREAK] Kandy Kitchen [SCENE_BREAK] Gilbert: We seem to have an execution. Shall I oblige, since you appear to be bogged down? Kandyman: Just get me unstuck. [SCENE_BREAK] Pipe [SCENE_BREAK] Wences: No! Ace: Come on, what're you moaning about now? Wences: Fondant. Ace: Move it. Wences: Move it. Ace: Move it. Wences: Move it. Ace: Move it. Wences: (???) Ace: (???) Why didn't you say? [SCENE_BREAK] Kandy Kitchen [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: Kandyman, don't let the Happiness Patrol see you looking like that. A big smile, please. Kandyman: Unstick me. The Doctor: I'll unstick you if you divert the flow. Kandyman: It's a deal. [SCENE_BREAK] Helen A's office [SCENE_BREAK] Helen: Come on, come on. Joseph: It's Trevor here. He has a few questions to ask you. Helen: Not now. Helen: They'll suffer for this, and only when they're screaming to go back under the pipe will I oblige. Trevor: No. Helen: What? Trevor: You can't. Helen: What do you mean? Trevor: Constitutional rules of the system. When the mechanics of an execution malfunction, the aforesaid execution may not be repeated. Joseph: Oh dear, what a nuisance. Helen: So now they're protected from the Fondant Surprise. Trevor: Rules of the system. Helen: Rules of the system? Trevor: Which further go on to say that an alternative execution may be substituted. Helen: Fine. [SCENE_BREAK] Kandy Kitchen [SCENE_BREAK] Kandyman: So you trusted me, then, Doctor. The Doctor: Of course. Kandyman: Very wise. I am a Kandyman of my word, but now our bargain is over. It's time to kill you. The Doctor: I thought you might have said that. The Doctor: Oh well, here we go again. Kandyman: No! Gilbert! Gilbert! Gilbert, where are you! [SCENE_BREAK] Helen A's office [SCENE_BREAK] Helen: You were very lucky just now. Ace: I'm not frightened of you. Helen: No? You're going to audition for the Late Show at the Forum. Ace: The Late Show? Susan: It's the Happiness Patrol auditions. Ace: But you're in the Happiness Patrol already. Helen: Not any more. Joseph! Joseph: A big smile, dear. [SCENE_BREAK] Forum Square [SCENE_BREAK] Earl: It's been a quiet night. The Doctor: Yes, well, it's been a busy one for me. Earl: So what now? The Doctor: I've lost my friend Ace. The Doctor: I think I know where to find her. The Doctor: When's the show open? Doorman: In five minutes. You'll catch it if you're quick. The Doctor: Five minutes? Why are they only putting the posters up now? Doorman: They're just for appearances. We always have a full house because attendance is compulsory. The Doctor: Run and get the demonstrators and bring them to the Forum. Earl: What if they don't want to come? The Doctor: You'll find a way. I'll meet you here later. Earl: Right. The Doctor: I want to find out if there's an artist appearing in the Forum tonight. Doorman: I'll just have a look at my list. The Doctor: Her name is Ace. Doorman: I can't do anything till I find my list, now can I? Doorman: Oh dear. Doesn't look like Daphne S went down too well, now does it?

The Doctor escapes the Kandyman while Ace meets the Pipe People. Later, fleeing for her life, she is captured and selected to audition for the Happiness Patrol.

fd_Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer_04x20

fd_Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer_04x20_0

~~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fade in. Close up of a wide-screen monitor. A white-haired man in a suit is sitting behind a desk. The office he's in is dark and the reflection of Colonel McNamara is seen on the glass of the monitor. Mr. Ward: And the men? McNamara: These are exceptional boys. Their capture ratio just keeps increasing. *They're* keeping it together. Morale's a problem. The death of Professor Walsh. The escape of the prototype. Controlling the HSTs is getting harder. We have serious overcrowding in the containment areas. As he spoke, the camera has slowly panned away from the monitor to the Colonel. We can see he is standing in some kind of communications center in the Initiative. There is a large world map on one wall. He is the only one there. Mr. Ward: Quite a mess. McNamara: It's not my mess, sir. I'm just holding the fort while you figure out what you want to do with the place. Mr. Ward: This incident with Finn was unfortunate. McNamara: Fell in with a bad crowd. Quite frankly, I don't think he was ever the soldier that you all hoped he was. Boy thinks too much. Mr. Ward: Nevertheless, we want him back. The government's invested a sub-- McNamara: We'll catch up to him. My feeling is . . he won't stray too far from the girl. Mr. Ward: Yes, uh . . . (puts on reading glasses to look at something on his desk) Buffy Summers. (removes glasses) Our data banks don't have much on her. McNamara: She's just a girl. Cut to-- Spike: (sighs) She's a lot more than that. He is in a chamber underground, in the sewers. Light reflecting off water is shimmering on the wall behind him as he walks across the room. Spike: The Slayer's dangerous is all I'm saying. Camera tracks Spike until we see Adam standing in front of a computer set-up. This is his hideout. Adam is sliding a disk into the drive slot in the metal plate covering his left pectoral. ADAM: Yes. She makes things interesting. Spike walks up to him. Spike: No. See? You're not getting it, Mr. Bits. You're gonna be interestingly dead. (paces again) Little Miss Tiny's got a habit of bollixing up the plans of every would-be, unstoppable bad-ass who sets foot in this town. He stops to face Adam. Spike: Just want you to know, when the big ugly goes down, the Slayer's gonna be right in the thick of it. You ready for that? ADAM: I'm counting on it. Wolf's howl. Buffy theme and opening credits roll. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part One ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fade in. Close up of a zippo in Spike's hand. He flips the lid open with his thumb and strikes the flame. He brings the lighter up to the cigarette in his mouth. ADAM: Two Slayers. Spike: (closing the lighter) That's right. Cut to wider shot. Adam is now pacing the chamber. Spike is sitting back in an old beat-up couch, stuffing sticking out in large patches. ADAM: And you killed them both? Spike: (grinning) Yeah. I killed the hell out of them. ADAM: Yet you fear this one? Spike: (offended) Hey, watch it, mate. I don't fear anything. Just know my enemies. ADAM: Do you? Then why haven't you killed this Slayer yet? Spike: Because . . . (trails off) Stinking, rotten luck is why. On top of that, now I got this buggering chip up my head. ADAM: Yes. Your behavior modification circuitry. I know what you feel. Spike: (scoffs softly) Not likely. Adam stands in front of him. ADAM: You feel smothered. Trapped like an animal. Pure in its ferocity, unable to actualize the urges within. Clinging to one truth. Like a flame struggling to burn within an enclosed glass. That a beast this powerful cannot be contained. Inevitably it will break free and savage the land again. I will make you whole again. Make you savage. Moved, Spike has to blink back tears. Spike: (awed) Wow. (composes himself) I mean, *yeah*. I get why the demons all fall in line with you. (sits up) You're like Tony Robbins. If he was a big scary . . Frankenstein looking-- (reconsiders) You're exactly like Tony Robbins. ADAM: I will restore you to what you once were. When I have the Slayer . . . how and where I want her. Spike: (sighs) Easier said. She's crafty. Her and her little friends. ADAM: Friends? Spike: There's your --what do you call it-- variable. The Slayer's got pals. You want her evening the odds in a fight you don't want the Slayerettes mucking about. ADAM: Take them away from her. Spike perks up at that idea. Spike: Now there's a plan. She's working solo, she won't have a chance to come after us when the wild rumpus begins. (chuckles) Plus, it will make her miserable. And I never get tired of that. He sits back again. He smiles at that prospect. Spike: (to himself) Yeah. Leave `em to me. ADAM: You can't hurt them. What can you do to make sure they're out of the picture? Spike: Not a blessed thing. They're gonna do it for me. He brings his cigarette to his lips and as he takes a drag we-- Cut to Stevenson Hall, room 214. The room is dark. The door opens and Buffy enters switching on the light. She is still wearing the clothes we saw her in when she was in L.A. to see Angel ("Sanctuary"). As she closes the door she sees Willow's bed which looks as if it hasn't been slept in for quite sometime. She tiredly rubs a hand over her face and crosses the room to lay on her own bed. She doesn't close her eyes and there is a forlorn look on her face. Cut to exterior shot of the ruins of Sunnydale High School. Cut to interior of one of the burnt out hallways. Amidst the debris, we see the small camp Riley had set up in the last episode. A lantern is the only source of light aside from streams of moonlight shining through holes in the ceiling. It looks like he's been there for a while. Xander is there with a backpack on his shoulder. Riley: Do you know if she's back yet? Xander: L.A. Woman? Haven't heard from her. She'll probably come here first thing, though. Hey, who's your buddy? Xander swings the backpack from his shoulder and tosses it to Riley. Xander: So you don't have to be G.I. Joe while your civvies are getting washed. Riley pulls out a pair of really baggy pants with a blue and white confetti pattern. Xander: Try those on. You'll feel like a new man. Riley: Would this man have a bright red nose and big, floppy feet? Perturbed, Xander purses his lips and raises his eyebrows. Riley: Hey, I'm sorry. That's the cabin fever talking. Xander looks the place over. Xander: But as post-apocalypse-splendor goes . . . Riley: I've done wonders with the place. Xander: Yeah. Riley: Still . . The sooner Buffy gets back, the better I'll feel. Riley sits down on his sleeping bag, his back against the blackened wall. Xander: You and me both, big guy. Riley: I take it you're not an Angel fan either? Xander: Well, it's not like I hate the guy. Just, you know . . the guts part of him. Riley: Can't blame you. But to be fair, it's not him you hate. It's the curse. Xander doesn't respond. Riley: Right? Xander: What did Buffy tell you? He sits down on the cooler. Riley: On Angel? Everything. More than I wanted to know sometimes. She loved him. He turned evil. He, uh, killed people. She cured him. He left. Interesting little curse. Xander: One moment's happiness. Riley: What do you mean? Xander: You know, it's his trigger. Angel's an okay guy if he's mopey and sad and brooding, but if you give him even one second of pure, real pleasure . . . Riley: And that sets him off. Xander: Only in the big ol "kill your friends" kind of way. And you know what makes Angel happiest? I'll give you a hint. It not creme brulee. Riley doesn't say anything for a couple of seconds. Riley: Buffy. Xander nods, opening his palms in a "there you go" gesture. Riley dwells on this for a moment and it dawns on him. Riley: s*x (scoffs softly) with Buffy. Xander's jaw drops as he realizes . . . Xander: She . . . kind of left that part out, huh? Riley: Yeah, she did. That explains a lot of things that . . I wish weren't explained. Xander: Hey, man. That's all ancient history. Riley: (scoffs) She went running to L.A. to bone up on her history. Xander: No! I'm sure it's boneless. She just needs to make sure everything's okay. She's probably back already. Riley: Maybe. Xander: You'll feel a lot better when you see her. But Riley doesn't look so sure. Riley: I guess we'll see. Cut to exterior of Giles' apartment building. Giles: (singing) If I leave here tomorrow/ Cut to Giles' apartment. He is sitting on the side of his sofa, playing "Freebird" on his guitar. Giles: (singing) Would you still remember me?/ Camera pans slowly around him. Giles: (singing) Well I must be traveling on now/ There's too many places I've got to see/ Giles: (singing) And if I stay here with you girl/ Things just couldn't be the same/ Giles: (singing) 'Cause I'm as free as bird now--(high-pitched gasp) He jumps up from the couch as he's startled to see Spike standing in his home. The vampire starts heading for the kitchen. Spike: You know, for someone who's got "Watcher" on his resume', you might want to cast an eye to the front door every now and again. Giles has removed his glasses and looks peeved. He rounds the sofa and stands at the entrance of the hallway as Spike opens the refrigerator. Giles: What do you want? Spike: Ah. (he takes out a transfusion blood bag) Knew I left one. (closes fridge) Buffy around? Giles: Why? Giles moves in front of the bar as Spike pops the plastic bag into the microwave and turns it on. Spike: I need to speak to the lady of the house. Hey, be a pet and give her a message for me, would you? Tell her I just might have something she just might want. Giles: And what might that "something" be? Spike regards him with little importance. Spike: Information. Highly classified. Not cheap word-on-the-street prattle either. I'm talking about the good stuff now. Unimpressed, Giles sits on one of the stools and puts his glasses back on. He crosses his arms. Giles: Thrill me. Spike: (sighs) It's nothing I know. What, you think I'd come running over saying "I've got a secret, beat me till I talk?" There's files in the Initiative. I'm pretty sure I know where. Giles' interest is perked. The microwave beeps. Giles: Files? Spike: (taking out the bag) Yeah. Secrets. He bites open a corner of the bag, grabs a coffee mug, and starts to pour the blood. Spike: Mission statements. Design schematics. All of Maggie Walsh's dirty laundry, which I guess would include lots of tidbits about-- Giles: (removing glasses) Adam. Spike: Well, yeah. Say someone were to risk his life and limb --well, limb anyway-- to obtain said files. It might be worth a little something. Spike lifts the mug to his mouth and drains it. Giles: A-at . . this point a cynical person might think that you're offering just what we need when we need it most. Spike: That person'd be right, Rupert. Supply and demand. And it won't be cheap this time. Giles: What do you want? Spike seems to think about it as he sets the mug down next to the sink. Spike: Hmm, year supply of blood, guaranteed protection, merry bushels of cash, and, most important . . . a guarantee that I'm not to be in anyway slain. Giles: (puts on glasses) Done. Spike: With a smile and a nod from you? Sorry. Not close to good enough. This deal's with the Slayer. Giles: I'll tell her. Spike: Oh, you'll tell her! Great comfort that. What makes you think she'll listen to you? Giles: Because . . . (trails off, unsure) Spike: Very convincing. Giles: I'm her Watcher. Spike: I think you're neglecting the past-tense there, Rupert. Besides, she barely listened to you when you were in charge. I've seen the way she treats you. Giles grows uncomfortable at those words. He grabs a bottle off the bar and starts to pour himself a drink. Giles: Oh, yes? And how's that? Spike: Very much like a retired librarian. Giles doesn't say anything and continues to pour. Spike: Look, I've got what she wants as long as she has what I want. He walks out of the kitchen and heads for the door. As he passes Giles-- Spike: Spread the word. She knows where to find me. Giles: (softly, without authority) I'll think about it. We hear the front door close and Giles brings the glass to his lips. Cut to Tara's dorm room. Willow is sitting on the bed playing with a small black and white kitten in her lap. Tara is sitting on the large chest at the foot of the bed. She is looking though the course selection booklet. Willow: Oh. I keep thinking "Okay, that's the cutest thing ever," and then she does something cuter and completely resets the whole scale. Tara: Did you see her yawn earlier? Willow: Yes! I thought I was going to die. She picks up the kitten to look into its eyes. Willow: (babying voice) Oh, I love you, Miss Kitty Fantastico! Tara: We got to get her a real name. Willow: It's so cool that she's ours. (pause) Uh, yours. That she's yours is-is cool. Tara: She can be ours if you want? Willow just smiles at that. Tara: You still need an elective. (glances down at booklet) How about . . Sophomore Level Psychology? Willow: Oh. Kinda psyched out since Professor Walsh. Maybe something fun like drama. I could be dramatic. Willow picks the kitten up again in front of her face. Willow: (dramatic voice) You cannot have more catnip! You have a catnip problem! Tara: (laughing) Definitely drama. The kitty starts pawing at Willow's hair and face. She lowers it to her lap again. Willow: I haven't even dealt with the housing situation yet. Have you done anything? I hear there some off-campus places that are way cool for groups to, you know, go in on. Tara: Oh, I just figured you'd be dorming it up with Buffy again. Willow: Well, we haven't really talked about it. I used to assume we'd be roomies through grad school well into little old lady hood. You know, cheating at bingo together and forgetting to take our pills. Tara: But? Willow: But . . . I don't know. It hardly feels like we're roomies now. I mean, she's busy with Riley and I'm gone a lot too. Willow considers this and doesn't look happy about it. Willow: I guess I should ask her. Cut to exterior of Stevenson Hall the next day. Cut to close up of the "Chocolate" poster on Buffy's door. There is a knock on the other side. Buffy opens it to reveal . . . Buffy: Riley. Riley: I got a little tired of sitting around waiting, so . . . Buffy is looking at the pants he has on and grins slightly. Buffy: You joined the circus? Riley: Xander took my clothes to clean `em and left me these. (stepping inside) Does he, uh, hate me in some way I don't know about yet? I think I would've attracted less attention in my uniform. Buffy: (uncertain) Is it okay for you to be here? Riley: You tell me. Buffy: I just meant with the government branch hunting you down and all. Riley: I'm good. He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a small cell phone which looks as if it's been jury-rigged. Riley: And, uh, it took me a while, but I patched into their frequency. (clicks it on and we hear a garbled voice) Can't sneak up on a guy if he's listening in. Buffy: You're the sneakiest. Riley: Why they hired me. Feeling awkward, Buffy walks over to her desk to stack a text book on top of another book, giving herself something to do. Riley: You okay? She faces him, leaning on the desk. Buffy: Yeah. I just-- Angel kind of upset me. Riley: How? Buffy: It's not that interesting. Riley: Got my attention. Buffy: He just spun my head a little. Riley: You don't want to talk about it. Buffy: It's just deconstructing Angel can wait. Right now, I just want to get out there and patrol and-and find Adam. We can talk about it . . later. Riley seems a little hurt by this but tries to cover it. Riley: It's the pants, isn't it? It's okay. I couldn't take me seriously in these things either. Buffy: Riley, it's not that big a deal. Riley: Tell you what, why don't I get out of your face? You had a long trip. Buffy: Look, you don't have to go. Riley: It's okay. (forcing a grin) Besides . . heh. (indicating pants) I have to recharge them every two hours or they go dead on me. Buffy: (quietly) Okay. Cut to the hall. Close up on Riley as he closes the door. He is less than happy as he walks away. Cut to Spike's crypt. Xander and Anya are walking down the steps of the entrance towards Spike. He's carrying a bundle of clothing and Anya is drinking a soda through a straw. Xander: Here. You should've just saved the ensemble from the last time we snuck into the Initiative. (hands the clothes to Spike) I'm not a clothing delivery service. Anya: Well, he is, kinda. He did Riley yesterday. Xander gives her a look and she busies herself with sucking on the straw and sits down. Spike is looking through the clothes and finds a small pistol. Spike: Hello. This is just . . . swell. Dropping the rest of the clothes on a stone bench, he aims the gun at the wall. Spike: Gotta say . . liking this quite a lot. He starts swinging the barrel around towards Xander who watches unconcerned. Spike: Kinda changes the balances of pow--OWW! He clutches a hand to his forehead as pain hits him. Frustrated, he stalks across the crypt. Spike: Akk! Oh, come on! You got to be kidding? Anya: (playing with her straw) Wow. That chip in your head means you can't even point a gun. How humiliating. Xander: Doesn't work anyway. It's a fake. Spike turns around to glare at him. Anya: Can't even point a decorative gun? Xander: Give it up for a American chipmanship. Spike: It doesn't work? What about self-defense? I'm taking a risk here, you know? Xander: Can I tell you how much I really . . don't care? Spike: (warningly) Attitude. See how far that'll take you in boot camp. (Xander gives him a questioning look) Say, I hope you get one of those toughs-as-nails drill sergeants who's only hard on the men because he's trying to keep them alive when the bullets start flying. I love that stuff. Anya is now standing giving Xander a perplexed look. Spike sits down on the bench. Xander: Boot camp? Yeah. Like I'd go there. Spike: What, you changed your mind? Not gonna join? Anya hits Xander hard on the chest. Anya: (angry) You're joining the Army!? Xander: (to Anya) Okay, one-- Ow. (to Spike) Two-- Where'd you get that idea? (to Anya) Three-- OW! I'm not joining the army! Anya: Oh, good. Stopped that nonsense just in time. Xander: I was never-- He turns to Spike who's examining the fake gun. Xander: Who'd you hear this from? Spike: Oh, your girlie-mates were talking. Something about, uh, being all you can be. Or all *you* can be. And having laugh. Figured you were signing up. Say, have you got anything larger in the . . toy gun line? He holds out the gun to him but Xander isn't paying him any attention. Xander: "All I can--" (paces to the other side of the crypt) Can you believe this!? Like I'm some sort of useless lunk. It happens I'm good at a lot of things. I help out with all kinds of . . . stuff. I have skills . . . and . . . stratagems. I'm very . . . (looks to Anya) Help me out. Anya: (nonchalant) He's Viking in the sack. Spike: (not caring) Terrific. (indicates the clothes in his hands) You didn't have these cleaned after the last time, did you? Xander continues as if not hearing him. Xander: This is so like them, lately. It's all about them and the college life. Well, you know what college is? It's high school only without the actual going to class. Well . . high school was kinda like that too. But the point is, I'm out there working hard to make a living. It's nothing but a huge joke to them. Xander got fired from Starbucks. Xander got fired from that phone-sex line. Anya: They look down on you. Xander: And they hate you. Anya: But they don't look down on me. Spike: Hey, it was just a laugh. There's no need to go insane over it. Xander glares menacingly at him. Xander: Is anybody talking to you? Spike: (mock gasp) Sir, no sir. Cut to the woods. Buffy is patrolling, walking on a dirt path leading up to a cave entrance. She is carrying the blaster Professor Walsh had given her ("The I In Team"). She's heading towards the cave when Forrest Gates jumps out into the path behind her and she whirls around to face him. They are pointing their blasters at each other. Forrest: Don't shoot. Buffy: Give me a reason not to? Forrest: You're killing humans now? Buffy: Not yet. (lowers blaster) Beating you senseless should do just fine. Forrest: I can have a patrol here in under a minute. So here's the plan: you go you're way, I'll go mine. Buffy turns and continues to the cave. Forrest starts to follow but stops when she looks back at him. Buffy: I'm checking out that cave. Forrest: My orders exactly. Buffy: Alone? Forrest: We're spread a little thin, so yeah. Family's tearing apart. Buffy: (sarcastic) Family. What kind of family are you? Corleones. She turns and enters the cave. Cut to interior. Buffy steps inside followed by Forrest. Forrest: We weren't until you showed up. Buffy: What? No girls in the club? Forrest: You think you're the first girlfriend Riley's ever had? (she stops to glare at his back as he continues ahead) Such a big head on that skinny little body. (he stops to face her) No. You're just the first one to get him to commit treason. Riley had a career. And a future till he met you. And, yeah, I got a problem with that. Buffy: A future? A future doing what? (steps closer to him) Illegal experiments. Torture. Murder. I guess killing someone isn't really a problem for you. Forrest: Less and less. And why don't you get the hell out of here before I-- He takes a threatening step to her. Buffy: (angry) Touch me and you'll find out what Slayer strength is like. Forrest: (gamely) I think it's about time you showed me then. ADAM: (OS) Yes. They look back the way they came and see Adam suddenly standing there. ADAM: I think that would be interesting. Off Buffy and Forrest's "Oh, sh1t" expressions, fade out. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part Two ~~~~~~~~~~ Fade in. Buffy steps forward ready to fire her blaster but Adam swings his arm and knocks it out of her hands. She quickly strikes with a front kick that does little damage and blocks Adam's arm when he swings it at her again. Forrest rushes in to attack but Buffy is between him and Adam and shoves him back hard. Buffy: Get out of here! As Forrest falls to the ground, Buffy hits Adam in the face with a hard backhand. Adam hardly feels it and grabs her by the neck throwing her across the cave. She slams into the rock wall and drops to the ground. Adam turns his attention to Forrest and his Polgara skewer juts out of his left arm. Forrest is getting back to his feet. Forrest: Not moving. He raises his blaster and fires it at Adam. Reacting to the blast, Adam arches back, his arms wide as if accepting the charge. The rings of electricity course over his body then seem to be absorbed within him. He looks at Forrest. ADAM: Thank you. Buffy saw this and is rising to her knees. Buffy: Go! Get out! But Forrest charges Adam and the demonoid cyborg meets him with the skewer, shoving it through his chest. Buffy: NO! Forrest quickly goes limp and Buffy runs towards them. With his free arm, Adam tosses Forrest's body in the air and it slides off his skewer and crashes into Buffy, knocking her down. Adam immediately picks up Forrest's blaster. Buffy: Oh, God. Buffy rolls Forrest's body off of herself and is rising to her feet when Adam fires the blaster. The charge hits her full force and sends her flying back where she collides with a large boulder. She drops to her knees and, as soon as she's on her feet, bolts for the entrance. Adam tracks her with the gun and fires another blast. It just barely misses her, blowing apart a huge chunk of the cave wall. Cut to outside. We see Buffy stumbling out of the cave on legs that don't seem to work right, but she continues to pick up speed as she runs down the hill. She takes a quick glance over her shoulder. It doesn't look like Adam is after her but she doesn't stop, desperate to escape. She suddenly loses her footing on the edge of a steeper slope and tumbles down the incline. She doesn't roll very far before she's stopped by a large rock sticking out of the ground, hitting her head hard. Cut to overhead shot, looking down on her. Buffy is lying unconscious beside the rock. Her head turned to the side, we can see a gash on the left side of her forehead and a bruise already forming next to her eye. Cut to elevated shot of Sunnydale. Nighttime. Cut to Spike walking casually down the steps to the courtyard of Giles' apartment building. He is wearing the commando garb Xander provided him with. He stops before reaching Giles' front door, taking one last pull on his cigarette then grounds it out under his boot. He stands there for a moment, then takes a couple of deep breaths, prepping himself, and rushes into the apartment. Spike: (closing the door) I think I lost the buggers. Willow stands up from where she was sitting at Giles' desk. Willow: Any luck with the disks? He pulls out a few disks from the pockets of his flak jacket and commando pants. Spike: (handing them to her) Took what they had. Should be something useful on one of them. Willow: Hope so. Willow sits down again in front of her laptop. Tara is standing beside her. Tara: What are we looking for? Willow: (sliding one of the disks into her laptop) Anything about Adam. Giles is sitting at the bar, pouring himself a drink. He doesn't sound completely sober. Giles: (unconcerned) Were there any problems getting in and out? Spike: No. I mean, a couple of them made me on the way out, but I took care of `em. Giles: (sarcastic) Gave them a good running-away-from-them, did you? Spike shoots him a look. Spike: Well, yeah. When do I get paid? Giles: When Willow tells me you've brought us something useful. Spike turns his attention to Willow. Tara is looking at what she's doing with interest and he notices the subtle, but intimate way, she's stroking a lock of Willow's hair. He raises a thoughtful eyebrow, taking note of this. Then he steps up behind Giles. Spike: I could've gone straight to the Slayer, you know? I cut you in, let you pretend you're actually in charge, now you've got to wait for Red's permission to finish the deal? Giles is seething into his drink. Giles: As soon as we see what's on the disks. The laptop starts making electronic jittery noises. Tara: It looks like gibberish. Giles and Spike look over at them. Spike: Gibberish? Willow: They're encrypted. Giles: Oh, wonderful. Giles steps away from the bar and disappears down the hall. On the laptop there are small symbols crisscrossing the screen. Spike: Can you fix `em? Willow: Crack a government encryption code on my laptop? Easy as really difficult pie. Why? Spike: (sighs) You're not exactly the whiz these days either. God, I'm never gonna get paid. Effected by the offhanded remark, Willow shifts uncomfortably in her chair. Willow: I am a whiz. Tara: She is a whiz. Willow: If every a whiz there was. I-I just need some time. Spike: No. I just heard you weren't . . . (Willow hits a key and the jittering stops) Your mates said you weren't playing with computers so much. (indicates Tara) Into the new thing. Willow: (frowning) What new thing? Spike: (nonchalant) You know, you two. The whole wicca thing. Willow: They-they were talking about that? Spike: Can we get back to business here? I've got a deal at stake. But Willow is very concerned now. Willow: What did they say? Spike: (impatient sigh) Talking about, you know, it's a phase. You'll get over it. Willow: What? Who said that? Was it Buffy? (to Tara) 'Cause . . . you know what she means by that. Spike: No, she was defending you. 'Cause Xander said you were just being trendy. Willow: Trendy? Spike: I don't know what they were going on about. A person wants be a witch, that's their business. Willow shakes her head, thoughtfully. Willow: (softly) I knew Buffy was freaked. Tara: You should talk to her, 'cause I'm sure she-- Spike: Pressing business, ladies. (pointing to the screen) Don't want to get sidetracked. (taps it with his finger) Still got your monsters to fight. Cut to the Initiative. The containment area. Close up of a butt-ugly demon who steps too close to the sliding glass wall of its cell and is zapped by a charge of electricity. The place is filled with demons, every cell occupied, some with more than one. It is also noisy with their growling. Colonel McNamara has just walked in with a lieutenant and they make their way down the long row of white cells. Lieutenant: Cell capacity maxed out three days ago, sir. We keep up this pace they'll be nowhere left to contain the hostiles. McNamara: (coldly) They're animals, lieutenant. We pack them in until we're out of room and then we pack them in some more. Lieutenant: (worried) They're going to start tearing each other apart, sir. McNamara: I have no problem with that scenario. As they reach the other side of the containment area, we see two demons in the last cell fighting, their claws at each other's throat. Cut to the communications room, which is filled with techs and alive with activity and radio chatter. McNamara and the lieutenant enter and their attention is immediately drawn to one of the officers who's receiving an urgent message for help from one of the squads out in the field. Commando: (on radio) Back-up team! Request immediate back-up! Over! They're tearing us apart over here! Two men down! From out of nowhere! Mayday! Repeat! Mayday! Cut to Riley at the ruins of Sunnydale High School, sitting on his sleeping bag. He puts down the soup can he was eating out of and lifts up his jury-rigged cell phone he was listening to. Commando: (on phone) --Team Epsilon requesting immediate back-up! We're in the alley behind the school building! Where the hell is-- Fall back! Fall back! It's coming-- The transmission is cut off. Riley gets up and grabs his commando gear. Cut to a shot of Riley running down an empty street. Cut to an alley and we see a commando go flying across the alley and hit the wall. Riley comes running around the corner just in time to see him fall to the pavement unconscious. He hears fighting further down the alley and raises his flashlight, shining it on the back of a figure in a long black coat. As soon as the light hits him, the person whirls around and glares at Riley. Off Angel's pissed off expression, fade out. [SCENE_BREAK] ~~~~~~~~~~ Part Three ~~~~~~~~~~ Fade in. Angel and Riley are facing each other. Angel is standing amidst the bodies of three more unconscious commandos. Riley lowers the flashlight. Angel: Riley Finn. Riley slips the flashlight into his cargo pocket. Riley: I know you? Angel: We have a friend in common. Recognition fills Riley's expression. Riley: Angel. Angel takes a step forward glancing down at the commandos on the ground. Angel: Welcoming committee your idea? Riley: Way I heard it. You were all peaceable now. You didn't by any chance go and lose that pesky soul again, did you? Angel: (dangerously) Don't push me, boy. If Riley had tail feathers they would have been ruffled. If he had whiskers they would have bristled. Riley: (calm rage) Now what possibly could've happened with Buffy that would make you lose your soul? Angel is walking a slow path that would take him around Riley. Angel: (coolly) That'd be between me and her. Riley steps in Angel's path and hits the release on the asp in his hand extending it to a baton. Riley: Where do you think you're going? Angel: Going to see an old girlfriend. They are now standing right in front of each other. Riley: Oh, you really think I'm gonna let that happen? Angel: You think you're gonna stop me? Riley: I surely do. Angel throws a right cross at Riley's face but he deflects it with his free hand and whips the baton into Angel's face. Riley quickly spins into a backhand swing and Angel catches his arm, forcing him down on one knee, and slams a knee into Riley's face. Angel doesn't let him go and lifts him back to his feet to swing him around and throw him through the air. Riley flies back into a large heap of trash bags and card board boxes next to the loading dock of a building. He scrambles out of the trash onto the loading dock and picks up his baton where it had landed. Angel leaps high through the air landing on the dock before Riley can get to his feet. Riley uses the baton to block Angel's kick but the weapon is knocked out of his hand and the vampire punches him across the face. Still on his knees, Riley retaliates with a fist to Angel's groin and, as the vampire bends down around his pain, gets to his feet picking up an empty liquor bottle and smashes it over his head. He grabs Angel by the coat and rams a knee into his back sending him against the building. Angel swings a backhand but Riley blocks it and slams the same knee into his stomach. Angel recovers and grabs Riley's flak jacket slamming him back against a heavy door. He hits Angel in the face with a left cross, but Angel just slams him against the door again, getting his hands around his throat. As Riley is forced down, under Angel's strength, he pulls out a taser from his jacket and shoves into Angel's chest. The shock flings him back and he falls into the trash heap. Riley's on his feet and goes after him. Angel raises his head and growls at him, in full vamp face. Riley plants a hard kick into his chest and Angel tumbles out onto the pavement. Standing over him, Riley tries to hit him with the taser once more, but Angel catches his wrist, forcing him to drop it, and drives a fist into his stomach. He lifts Riley over his head and growls as he runs with him across the alley to send him crashing into a group of storage drums against the side of a warehouse. Riley tumbles to the ground but Angel picks him up again and sends him flying to the other side of the alley. He lands on a pile of large metal conduit tubes, which break his fall none to gently, and he flops to the pavement. Angel hears the loud engine of an approaching vehicle and quickly climbs up the side of the warehouse, disappearing over the top. Riley is on his knees when he sees the humvee rounding the corner. He manages to get to his feet and hurries on unsteady legs down a narrow passage between two of the buildings before the headlights sweep the alley. Cut to Buffy's dorm room. She walks inside, looking like hell, and removes her jacket as she steps up to the mirror on the wall. Ugly bruising has formed around the gash on her forehead and she winces as she touches it with her fingers. Cut to outside her door. Someone steps in front of it and knocks. A moment later, Buffy opens the door and is surprised to see-- Buffy: Angel. Angel: Hi. Can I come in? Buffy: (softly) I guess. He hesitates. Angel: Uh, I need a little more than that. Buffy: Oh. Um . . . come in. He walks inside past her and she closes the door. He turns to face her and she takes notice of the blood on his temple and his split bottom lip. Buffy: (stoic) You're hurt. Angel: You too. Buffy: I'll live. Buffy: You want to tell me who ran your face into that doorknob? Angel: Not really. It's not world-in-peril stuff. Buffy: Let me guess. (a touch of venom) You thought of something else really hurtful to say and, well, you couldn't tell me on the phone because the funniest part is that look on my face-- Angel: Buffy, please. I really don't have a lot of time. She hears the slight urgency in his voice. Buffy: (concerned) What's going on? The door bursts open a Riley steps in, steadying himself against the shelf of Willow's desk. He raises his arm and aims the Baretta in his hand at Angel, thumbing back the hammer. Riley: (pissed) I told you you weren't coming near her. Buffy takes in his battered appearance. She goes ballistic. Buffy: (pissed) You've got to be kidding me. This is why you came? Angel: No. This was accident. Buffy: (very pissed) Running a car into a tree is an accident! Running your fist into somebody's face is a plan! Please, explain this to me! Angel doesn't answer her but looks at Riley. Angel: (calmly) Put that gun down. Riley: It's pretty much all I got left, so I'm thinking not. He attacked four of my men, Buffy. I think he's up to his old tricks. Buffy: He won't hurt anybody. (to Angel) Tell him. Angel starts to move forward. Angel: (with contained violence) Might hurt you. Riley steps forward. Riley: Please try. Angel: Heh. Some threat. You can barely stand. Riley brandishes the gun in front of his face. Riley: Trigger finger feels okay. Angel: (sideglance to Buffy) You actually sleep with this guy? While his head's turned, Riley punches him in the face. Angel quickly hits him back. Buffy: Okay, stop it! Buffy steps in between them and shoves them apart. Riley slams back against Willow's desk and Angel goes flying onto Willow's bed. Buffy: Okay, that's enough! I see one more display of testosterone poisoning and I will personally put you both in the hospital! She glances back and forth between them. Riley looks like he still wants to shoot Angel. Buffy: (challengingly) Anybody think I'm exaggerating? Angel: He started-- Buffy points a warning finger at him and he wisely shuts up. She gives him a "working my last nerve" look and walks over to Riley. Buffy: (softly) Riley. (glances at his gun) Riley: I'm sorry. (he holsters it) Just wanted to know that you were safe. Buffy: (gently) I need to talk to Angel for a minute. Riley: (exasperated) What? Buffy: Riley, please. He looks over at Angel who's just sitting down on the bed, elbows resting on his knees. He looks down at Buffy again. Riley: (quietly firm) I'm not leaving this room. (crosses his arms) I mean it. Riley continues to glare at Angel. Buffy looks over her shoulder and gives Angel a slight tilt of her head, then walks past Riley to the door. Angel stands up to follow her and doesn't even bother to hide the smirk on his face as he passes Riley. He closes the door and Riley is left alone. Riley: Not moving a muscle. Out in the empty hall, Buffy turns on Angel. Buffy: (angry) Okay. I come to see you, to help you, and you treat me like I'm just . . . your ex. Angel: Well, technically-- Buffy: Shut up! And then you order me out of *your* city and then you come here and start pounding on my boyfriend?! I would really like to know what the HELL are you trying to do?!. Angel: I was trying to make things better. She regards his sincere expression and can't keep herself from laughing. It becomes contagious because Angel can't help but to smile also. Angel: Heh. Well. (chuckles) It's a . . . going pretty good, don't you think? Buffy is leaning against the wall. Buffy: (smiling) Swell. Angel: You know-- heh. (seriously) I couldn't leave it like that. The way I spoke to you-- I came to apologize. I . . I had no right. Buffy: And Riley? Angel: I got jumped by some soldiers. He came in in the middle. And wasn't real forthcoming with the benefit of the doubt. Buffy: Put yourself in his place. Angel does consider this. Angel: I get it. Buffy is looking down at the floor. Buffy: Look . . . You weren't entirely wrong, what you said in L.A. (she meets his eyes) We don't live in each other's worlds anymore. I had no right to barge in on yours and make judgments. Angel: I'm still sorry. Buffy: Thank you. Angel: And, next time . . I'll apologize by phone. (Buffy laughs softly) Uh, things are pretty tense around here. Buffy rests her head back tiredly. Buffy: They really are. Angel: Can I do anything? Buffy: Honestly . . . I think the best thing you can do right now is-- Angel: (understandingly) Okay. Buffy: It means a lot that you came. Angel just looks at her for a moment then starts walking down the hall. Buffy his heading to her door when Angel turns around again. Angel: Oh, and . . . Riley. Buffy: Yeah? Angel: I don't like him. Buffy smiles. Buffy: Thank you. Angel turns and continues down the hall. Buffy watches him for a couple of seconds then returns to her room. She opens the door and we see that Riley did in fact move several muscles for he is standing on the other side of the room. He has removed his flak jacket and turns to face her. Cut to Adam's lair. He is sitting in front of his computer set-up. The metal plate on the left side of his head is open and there is a cable plugged into a socket, wiring him directly to the system. We hear a heavy door being opened and he looks over to see Spike walking into the chamber. The vampire is back in his usual attire and is finishing off a can of beer. Spike: (happily) Now that . . . (crushes can and throws it down) was fun! ADAM: You were successful? Spike: ("no problem" scoff) Easier than I'd thought it'd be, too. ADAM: You're sure? Spike: (scoffs) Feel it in my bones. It's, uh . . called the Yoko Factor. Spike lights a cigarette and Adam just looks at him. Spike: Don't tell me you've never heard of the Beatles? Adam disconnects the cable and closes his face plate. ADAM: I have. (stands) I like "Helter Skelter." He crosses to the other side of the chamber. Spike: What a surprise. The point is, they were once a real powerful group. It's not a stretch to say they ruled the world. And when they broke up everyone blamed Yoko, but the fact is the group split itself apart, she just happened to be there. And you know how it is with kids. They go off to college, they grow apart. Way of the world. ADAM: So you separated the Slayer from her friends. I'm pleased. Adam turns and gazes down at the ground, looking thoughtful. Spike: Well . . since we've got all our ducks in a row and not talking to each other . . guess it's time for the grand plan, huh? You know the one where I get the chipectomy. You got everything you need, right? Adam looks at him. ADAM: No. There's one more thing. Spike regards him with a frown. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part Four ~~~~~~~~~~ Fade in. From where we left Buffy and Riley. She's stepping up to him and they're standing between the beds. Buffy: (softly) How bad are you hurt? Riley: Dunno yet. Night's still young. Buffy: (mournful) Riley, I have to tell you something. Riley: Figured. Buffy: Maybe you want to sit down. Riley: I'm fine. Buffy: Riley, I-- Riley: (insistent) Wait. Me first. Buffy blinks in surprise. Riley: Buffy . . . I feel like we've gotten really close. At least I thought we had. I don't know much about Angel (Buffy lowers her eyes) or your relationship with him . . but . . . all I ask is . . if you're gonna break heart, do it fast. Buffy looks up at him, frowning. Buffy: What? You think that Angel and I . . . Riley: Didn't you? Buffy: No. Of course not. How can you even ask me that? Riley: (sighs) I don't know. Xander said-- Buffy: Xander?! Oh, he's the deadest man in Deadonia. Riley: No. It's not his fault. I prodded and he explained how Angel went bad. The, uh, trigger. Buffy: (quietly) Oh. Riley: And, uh (chuckles) after that, I went a little nuts! You know? I mean . . . On the one hand . . I should believe in us. But on the other . . Sometimes things happen between exes and when I saw that he was bad. . . Buffy: He's . . not bad. Riley just looks at her. Riley: Seriously? That's . . a good day? (Buffy rolls her eyes in confirmation) Well, there you go. Even when he's good he's all Mister . . Billowy Coat King of Pain and girls really-- Buffy: Riley, stop. She takes his hand and they sit down on her bed. Riley: See? Nuts. Buffy: Have I ever given you any reason to feel that you can't trust me? Riley: No. Buffy: Then why with the crazy? He looks into her eyes. Riley: (meaningfully) Because I'm so in love with you I can't think straight. Her eyes start to glisten. Buffy: Tell me about it. He hugs her and she closes her eyes as she holds him tight. Buffy: Riley. (pulls away) I still have to tell you something. And there's no easy way-- Riley: Just say it. Buffy: (a beat) Forrest is dead. Riley takes this news and leans his elbows on his knees, resting his face in his hands. Buffy: (gently) I'm so sorry. There was a fight. Adam killed him. I barely got away. I know that there's nothing I can say that's gonna make this better. But we will find this thing and destroy it. Riley: (somber) I have to go. Buffy: Are you sure? He doesn't look at her once as he raises his head and stands up. Riley: I have to go now. He walks to the door, grabbing his flak jacket off Willow's chair and leaves. Off Buffy's concerned expression, we-- Cut to Giles' apartment. Willow is still working on the laptop. The encryption code is still crisscrossing the screen. Willow: (a tad frustrated) It's still encrypted. Buffy and Tara are standing to either side of her. Tara: (to Buffy) Well, Willow's working really hard on it. Buffy: Okay, well, how long before you . . un-crypt it? Willow: Hours. Days maybe. Anyone suggesting months would not be accused of crazy talk. Giles is in the kitchen pouring himself a drink and more inebriated than ever. Giles: What ever happened to Latin? At least when that made no sense, the church approved. Buffy: (slightly impatient) I can't just wait around, Will. The disk is no good to me unless you crack it soon. Buffy doesn't see Willow's withering look behind her back as she walks towards the living room area. Anya is sitting on the arm of the couch, her feet on the cushion. Xander is sitting next to her not looking entirely happy. Anya: Hey! We worked really hard getting that. Xander delivered clothing. Giles: Church approved. Giles happily closes the cork of the liquor bottle with his palm. Buffy: Sorry, you guys, but we're on a clock here. Okay, Adam was at that cave so maybe he was there for a reason? I-I can--I can go back, scope it out, track him if I have to. Willow: (sarcastic) Right. (stands moving to the living room) And then maybe you'll get lucky and he'll still be there and he can rip your arms off for you? (sternly) Buffy, you can't go back alone. Giles: You never train with me anymore. He's gonna kick your ass. Buffy: (shocked) Giles. He steps out of the kitchen, drink in hand, and leans against the entrance of the hallway. Giles: Sorry. Was it a bit honest? (drunken grin) Terribly sorry. Xander: (standing) So she doesn't go alone. (turns to him) Giles, weapons all around. Buffy: You're not going, Xander. He turns to face her, giving her a hard look. Buffy: Y-you'd get hurt. Xander: (as if expecting this) Oh. Okay. You and Willow go do the superpower thing, I'll stay behind and putt around the Batcave with crusty old Alfred here. (with a thumb to Giles) Giles: Ah-ah, no. I am no Alfred, sir. No, you forget. Alfred had a job. Buffy: Willow is not going either. I'm doing it alone. Willow steps closer so now she's standing at one end of the coffee table across from Buffy. Xander is between them. Tara slips past Giles and disappears down the hallway. Willow: (still sarcastic) Oh, great. And then when you have your new "no arms" we can all say "Gee, it's a good thing we weren't there getting in the way of that!" Anya gets up from the couch but they don't notice her following Tara. Xander: Right! Maybe we can help in other ways? (to Buffy) Want some fighting pants, Buff? I can get ya some new fighting pants! Buffy: You guys, this isn't helping. Willow: Oh, wow! We're already getting in the way. We're pretty good at this, Xander, huh? Xander: Right. I'm so good at it you might have to ship me off to the Army to get me out of the way! Buffy: The Army? Xander: You didn't think I knew about that, did you? You two talking about me behind my back. Willow frowns at him. Buffy: Us talking about *you*? How about you telling Riley every last detail of my life with Angel? Willow: And besides, when is there any "us two?" You two are the two who are the two. I'm the other one. Xander: Uh-huh. But maybe that all changes when I'm doing sit-ups over at Fort Dix? Giles almost chokes on his drink. Giles: Fort Dix? He bursts out in a wheezing laugh. The three of them stare at him Buffy: Are you drunk? Giles: (happily) Yes. Quite a bit, actually. Buffy: Well, stop it! (to Xander and Willow) This is stupid. Xander: Stupid? So you finally have the guts to say it to my face? Buffy: I didn't say you were stupid! So . . stop being an idiot and let me fix this! Xander rolls his head in an exasperated way and sits down on the couch. Buffy: Okay, I need you. I need both of you. All the time! Just . . not now. Adam is very dangerous. Willow: Wait. How do you need me, really? Buffy: You're . . good with the computer stuff. (Willow accepts that) Usually. (Willow glares at her) And-and there's the witch stuff. Willow: (accusingly) Witch stuff? What exactly do you mean by "witch stuff?" Buffy: You guys, what is happening? This is crazy! Giles: Oh, no, it's not. (moves to his desk) It's all finally making perfect sense and I'm not going to miss a moment of it. He sets his drink down and tries to sit. But his aim is off and his ass doesn't come close to hitting the chair and he drops to the floor. Cut to Giles' very clean, white bathroom. Anya is sitting on the closed lid of the toilet and Tara is leaning against the side of the tub. They can still hear the muffled argument on the other side of the closed door. Tara: You think this will go on for a while? Anya: (nonchalant) Hard to say. They fall silent as they look around the bathroom. Tara: Nice bathroom. Anya: (nodding) Like the tile. Cut back to the others. Xander is on his feet again, rounding to stand behind the couch. Behind him, Giles stumbles towards the stairs taking off his glasses. Xander: And if I did join the Army, I'd be great! You know why? 'Cause they might give me a job that couldn't be done by any well-trained border collie. Giles: That's it. I'm going to bed. He struggles to pull his sweater over his head as he stomps up the stairs. Willow stands beside Xander. Willow: No, you'd do wonderful in the Army. Hey, do you think the umbilical cord between you and Anya can stretch that far? Xander: I knew it! I knew you hated her! Giles' sweater drops down from the loft above and falls on him covering his face. Xander yanks it off his head. Willow: Look, I'm not the one being judgmental here. I'll leave that territory to you and Buffy. Buffy: Judgmental? If I was anymore open-minded about the choices you two make my whole brain would fall out! Xander: (to Willow) Oh! And superior. Don't forget that. (to Buffy) Just because you're better than us doesn't mean that you can be all superior! He walks past her and crosses his arms as he leans against a cabinet dresser behind her. Buffy: You guys, stop this! What happened to you today? Willow: It's not today! Buffy, things have been wrong for a while! Don't you see that? Buffy: What do you mean wrong? Willow: Well, they certainly haven't been right, since Tara. We have to face it. You can't handle Tara being my girlfriend. Xander: No! It was bad before that! (he steps out in between them again) Since you two went off to college and forgot about me! Just left me in the basement to-- (turns on Willow in shock) Tara's your girlfriend? Giles: (from upstairs) Bloody hellll! Buffy: Enough! All I know is you want to help, right? Be part of the team? Willow and Xander shake their heads, grumbling. Willow: (unison) I don't know anymore. Xander: (unison) Really not wanted. Buffy: (raising her voice) No! No, you said you wanted to go. So let's go! All of us. We'll walk into that cave with you two attacking me and the funny drunk drooling on my shoe! Hey! Hey, maybe that's the secret way of killing Adam?! Xander: Buffy . . . Buffy: (hurt and angry) Is that it? Is that how you can help? (a beat) You're not answering me! How can you possibly help? They don't reply and turn their eyes away from her. She regards them silently for a moment. Buffy: (somberly) So . . . I guess I'm starting to understand why there's no ancient prophecy about a Chosen One . . and her friends. She hurries to the door grabbing her jacket. Buffy: If I need help, I'll go to someone I can count on. They don't move as she slams the door, leaving them behind. Cut to Adam's lair. We hear the heavy door opening again. Adam is standing and turns when someone walks into the chamber. ADAM: I've been waiting for you. Cut to close up of Riley. Riley: And now I'm here. To be continued

Riley spars with Angel ( David Boreanaz ) when Angel visits Sunnydale; Adam convinces Spike that he will take his chip out if he helps him get Buffy where he wants, Spike agrees and sets out to distance the Scoobies from each other.

fd_CSI__Crime_Scene_Investigation_03x10

fd_CSI__Crime_Scene_Investigation_03x10_0

[EXT. (VARIOUS) LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. SIDEWALK -- NIGHT] (A couple of roller bladers play on the sidewalk.) (Camera close up of the roller blades of the first person as he jumps on the metal rail and rides it from one end to the other. He jumps off, excited.) Blader 1: All the way across! Did you see that! Dude! Dude! Come on, bust it, bro. Blader 2: Relax man! I'm going! Blader 1: You've got it. Don't puss out on me! (The second blader takes a running leap and tries the same trick. He jumps off excited when he's done.) Blader 1: Oh! Blader 2: Oh! (raises his hands in triumph) Sick yeah! Blader 1: Yeah, I thought for sure you were going to eat it, though. Blader 2: No, way, man. I had that thing hooked up. Blader 1: Oh you got lucky, man. (The two roller bladers stop by the side of the building. From above, a body falls to the ground with a loud thud. SKATER 1 edges closer for a look.) Blader 1: (looking down at the body) Ugh! Oh, my god! [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. BUILDING -- NIGHT] (Camera opens on the dead body. The Emergency Personnel are already there. NICK and WARRICK make their way toward BRASS.) Nick: We beat Grissom here? That's a first. Warrick: Yeah? Maybe for you. (BRASS leads them under the crime scene tape and toward the body.) Brass: Hey, how you doing? The jumper's John Doe. No wallet no keys, no ID. (NICK leans in to look at the body.) Nick: Yeah, that's the least of this guy's problem. (BRASS looks up at the building top.) Brass: The building's gotta be what? Six stories high? Warrick: Six stories, sixty stories. It's not how you fall, it's how you land. Nick: You know, if you landed head first, there should be more blood. Warrick: Yeah, and more brain matter. (WARRICK'S phone beeps.) Grissom: (over phone) He didn't jump. (It beeps again.) Grissom: Up here. (They look up to see GRISSOM looking down at them from the top of the building.) [TOP OF BUILDING] (Where GRISSOM stands, there's a whole lot of blood mess on the rooftop.) Grissom: It's never the fall that kills you. HARD CUT TO END OF TEASER. ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. BUILDING - ROOF -- NIGHT] (GRISSOM and NICK check out the building rooftop.) Nick: Rain or not, I'm not finding any shoe prints. Grissom: High velocity spatter usually implies a gunshot. Nick: No casings or bullets, either. Grissom: (indicating the blood mess) Severe head trauma. It happened before the fall. Nick: Sure looks like it. Hand to hand combat? Grissom: (shakes his head) Kill and dump. (Quick visualization to: A person pushes the body off the roof of the building. The body falls down on the ground in front of WARRICK ... End of visualization. Resume to present.) [DOWN ON THE GROUND] (WARRICK snaps pictures of the body in front of him. He puts the camera aside and looks at the body. He finds something on the pants hem. Camera zooms in for a close up of white specks on the cloth. WARRICK takes a tape lift of it.) (DAVID PHILLIPS walks up to WARRICK. David Phillips: Hey. Warrick: Hey. I think the prints are out. Bones burst right through the skin. (DAVID checks out the victim's hand.) David Phillips: Compound fracture of the long bones including the phalanges. Extensive laceration. Warrick: What about dental? (DAVID checks out the victim's teeth.) David Phillips: Yeah. There might be enough to work with. Warrick: You think? Hey, wait a minute. Look. You might have another option. Check out that artwork. David Phillips: Tattoo. Warrick: You think you can stretch that out? David Phillips: Yeah, no problem. (WARRICK takes a picture of the tattoo.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. PARKING LOT -- NIGHT] (O'RILEY and CATHERINE walk to the crime scene.) O'Riley: Wallet was with the vic. Money, cards, I.D.'S. Name's Roger Edmonds. Car's his, too. (CATHERINE puts her kit down and they both kneel to look at the body. Catherine: Single gunshot wound to the chest, through and through. Entry wound is massive. (CATHERINE takes a picture of the wound.) Catherine: Unburned gunpowder. He was shot at close range. (Camera close up of the wound to show the gunpowder. CATHERINE stands up to look at the car.) Catherine: Car door ... is closed ... but not latched. Vic was in a hurry? O'Riley: To get in or get out? Catherine: Good question. I don't see any bullet holes. (They walk around the car where CATHERINE finds something on the front license plate.) Catherine: What's this? Ah, blood and hair. Maybe the vic got a piece of the perp. O'Riley: Waitress phoned it in. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RESTAURANT -- NIGHT] (CATHERINE and O'RILEY question the WAITRESS.) Waitress: Look, I got to get out of here, okay? My kid's with a sitter and it's not like this gig covers day care. Catherine: Yeah, I know what that's like. I got a kid at home myself. Waitress: (retorts) So what, now we're, like, related? Catherine: Ah, you know what, get it off your chest. It sucks. You're living for everybody but yourself. But you know what? You're still breathing. O'Riley: So? Waitress: So, I'm out here busing tables, and I hear voices. (Quick flashback to: The WAITRESS looks out the window and sees two men arguing.) Waitress: (V.O.) It's nothing new around here. (The WAITRESS doesn't think anything of it. She turns away and continues to work. A few moments later, she's startled by a gunshot. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Waitress: And it's like a bomb goes off. I mean ... I thought I was deaf. O'Riley: Then what? Waitress: And then one guy's on the ground and the other guy's taking off. And no, I didn't see his face. Catherine: Did you see a license plate? Waitress: No. Catherine: Can you describe the vehicle? Waitress: It was a pickup. (Quick flashback to: The pickup truck drives away, tires screeching. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Waitress: With one of those cover things on the back, you know, a ... O'Riley: Camper top. Waitress: I know what it's called. Look, Roger was a regular, okay? Draft beer. Tonight, he's drinking J.D. Straight up, six in an hour. If you ask me, he was looking for trouble.CUT TO: [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. BUILDING ROOF -- NIGHT] (NICK is on the rooftop looking around. He walks to GRISSOM and stops to stand right in front of him.) Nick: I've been searching high and low for a blunt object. Crow bar, two-by-four, brick, something like that. Nothing. But I did find this crack pipe. I'll get it back to the lab see if I can get some prints off of it. (As NICK speaks, GRISSOM starts to lose his hearing and for a moment, he can't hear what NICK'S saying at all.) Nick: (sound muffled to no sound at all) This roof's not that accessible, you know? Besides, coming all the way up here to get high and low. But still, little extreme for this part of town don't you think? (GRISSOM looks at NICK and takes his best guess.) Grissom: Swab it, print it, bag it. See if you can find out who smoked it. (GRISSOM picks up his stuff and leaves.) Nick: Okay. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. RESTAURANT - PARKING LOT -- NIGHT] (CATHERINE walks along the parking lot looking for evidence. She kneels down and sees a bullet casing.) O'Riley: 50 caliber. Catherine: Yeah, you need a cannon to fire a hunk of lead that big. O'Riley: Feel like hunting for a bullet? (CATHERINE bags it.) Catherine: Anything that might have hit it would have ripped right through. Thing's probably still moving. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (WARRICK walks to the lab.) Warrick: Leah! Good to have you back on nights. Leah: I know. I hate days. Warrick: I came to see you for your expert opinion. Leah: Shoot. Warrick: See what you can make of this. (WARRICK takes out a photograph of the tattoo. LEAH looks at it with magnifying glass.) Leah: Hmm. Use of only black and gray ink is known as fine-line. Not a "scratcher" job. Warrick: You recognize this? Leah: Signed by the artist himself. Take a look. Warrick: I-I? Leah: In roman numerals, two. As in "tat-too." Premier skin artist in Vegas. Also a Ph.D. in psychology. Warrick: He's a shrink? Leah: Mm-hmm. Warrick: So he gets in your head and under your skin, huh? You're a gem. Leah: Thank you. I got a new one. Warrick: Really? Leah: Check it out. (LEAH takes her coat off to show WARRICK a butterfly tattoo on her right shoulder.) Warrick: Nice. The rose is still my favorite, though. (WARRICK smiles at her and leaves. Camera holds on LEAH.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TATTOO PARLOR -- NIGHT] (NICK and WARRICK walk in to the establishment.) Nick: Is the doctor in? Doctor: Yes, I am. SHORT TIME CUT TO: (The DOCTOR looks at a photograph of the tattoo. NICK looks at something off of the shelf next to a stack of books on mythology. He looks at the DOCTOR and notices him watching. NICK puts the thing back on the shelf.) Nick: Hmm. Doctor: Skin and ink, ink and skin -- one makes the other one live. You see, that's strength ... (The DOCTOR points to the "wings" in the tattoo. Camera focuses in for a close up of the "wings".) Doctor: ... and that's superiority ... (Camera flashes to the entire tattoo.) Doctor: ... and that's ambition without limit. See, it's the chosen one. (He holds up the photograph for them to look at. NICK nods.) Nick: Hmm. (The DOCTOR pushes his chair back to get a binder that a customer is looking at.) Doctor: Can I borrow that? Excuse me. (He shows them the binder.) It's my book. All my victims. (He flips a page.) His name was Jimmy Maurer. (He shows them the photo of a young, blonde man proudly showing off his new tattoo for the camera.) (Quick flashback to: JIMMY MAURER looking at his tattoo. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Nick: Was? What do you mean, that's not his name anymore? Doctor: He died, didn't he? Well, his fate was inevitable. I simply gave it form. Warrick: (looking at the photo) Strength, superiority, and ambition, huh? Not exactly the characteristics of an angel. Doctor: No, it's not an angel. It's Greek mythology. Icarus. He flew too close to the sun on wings of feathers and wax. Warrick: And when the wax melted, he plunged to his death. Doctor: Hubris. Is that what brought Jimmy down, as well? Nick: Hey, man, you tell us. Doctor: How should I know? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB] (CATHERINE walks into the lab.) Catherine: Hey, Greggy, any luck on those blood and hair samples? Greg: Don't insult me. Luck is for those without skill. Catherine: Hmm, spoken like a man who's never hit a jackpot. Greg: Hmm, sad but true. (GREG grabs the results from the printer.) Slot plot on the blood and hair ... came back negative. Not human. They're animal. (CATHERINE looks at the results.) Catherine: Hmm. (She turns and heads out of the lab.) Greg: You can take that with you if you want. Catherine: Thanks, I will. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY] (NICK and WARRICK walk through the door to the hallway on their way to the Autopsy room.) Nick: And I spoke with Brass. That squirrelly tattoo artist had a record. Warrick: For what? Nick: Drug conviction: Crack, cocaine. Warrick: You got a print off of that pipe? Nick: Lab's working on it. (They enter the Autopsy Room.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- CONTINUOUS] (DOC ROBBINS is already there.) Nick: Hey, Doc. Robbins: Hi, fellows. Cause of Death -- any takers? Nick: (sighs) Blunt force trauma. Warrick: You know if he's asking we're not going to figure it out. Robbins: Nicely played. It's suffocation. After I cleaned him up, noticed bluish discolorations on his lips (Camera moves slowly down the victim's right side to show the bluish colored skin.) ... and on what's left of his nail beds. (Camera zooms in to the victim's fingernails.) Nick: Cyanosis? Body was starved for oxygen. Warrick: Strangled, and then thrown off of the roof? Robbins: Found no ligature marks on his neck no petechial hemorrhaging. Hence, no forcible suffocation. Nick: Okay, not beaten to death, not strangled to death. But something bad went down on that roof. He left half his head up there, man Robbins: uh, more like... uh ... 25%. (Camera shows the victim's damaged head.) Warrick: Suffocation means he died with his brain still in his head. Nick: Yeah, but there's no evidence of anyone else at the scene. How do you suffocate alone on a rooftop? Robbins: You don't. Warrick: All right. High impact from a high altitude. Robbins: Well, above 15,000 feet, hypoxia can occur in minutes. Nick: (nods) He died in the sky. Warrick: Yeah... and the rest is gravity. (Quick flashback to: JIMMY MAURER falls from the sky at a high speed. He hits the side of the building rooftop and continues to fall to the ground below.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- HALLWAY] (WARRICK and BRASS walk down the hallway. ) Brass: You know, your vic was an interesting guy. He had no home address. Just post office boxes in California, Utah, Vegas. (BRASS hands WARRICK a file.) Warrick: Drive a car? Brass: Nissan Xterra. Cali tags and license, but he was all squared away. Warrick: None of this explains how he dropped out of the sky. Brass: Well, the, uh, possibilities are limited. Either he was pushed out of a plane or he stowed away in the landing gear, or, um ... skydiving gone bad. Warrick: All right, none of that works. I talked to air traffic control and they had no aircraft operating in that area at that time. (BRASS walks into his office. After a beat, he walks back out.) Brass: "La lluvia de peces." Warrick: What? Brass: The raining of fish. Occasionally, usually in the early spring in Yoro, Honduras, it rains, um ... (nods) ... sardines. Warrick: (scoffs) Sardines? That's funny. Brass: Really. I've seen it. (rambling) I mean, the scientific explanation is ... this sounds like a Grissom thing ... is that they get sucked out of the ocean by these waterspouts that are like, you know you know, tornadoes, and, uh, then ... look, the point is, Rick they got to come from somewhere. They gotta come from somewhere. (BRASS walks back into his office. WARRICK gets ready to leave, when he stops.) Warrick: What the hell were you doing in Honduras? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BALLISTICS LAB] (CATHERINE walks into the Ballistics Lab.) Catherine: Bobby. Bobby: Not a lot of guns chambered for 50 AE. It kind of narrows the field. Got AMT auto mag five, LAR grizzly... Catherine: Desert eagle? Bobby: Yeah, how'd you know? Catherine: Had O'Riley run the vic for registered firearms. It turns out that Roger Mitchel purchased a magnum research desert eagle mark-seven three weeks ago. Bobby: I know the gun. Idiot-big and shiny. Catherine: Right, well, you know some men feel the need to compensate. Bobby: Actually, a gun like that intimidates, makes a statement. Catherine: Yes, it does. Beer drinker switches to bourbon. He's got himself a brand-new gun. He's just looking for a fight. Statement is, "bring it on." (Quick flashback to: The two men fight. One man swings and misses. The other man runs to his car and gets out his gun. He absently shuts the door.) Catherine: (V.O.) So, full of liquid courage, he hauls out the big iron. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: But a drunk is not hard to disarm. (Quick flashback to: The two men struggle for the gun. The gun goes off. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Bobby: (nods) Vic gets shot with his own weapon. Catherine: And the perp walks away with the murder weapon. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (NICK works on the computer) Nick: According to trace, the yellow dust on Jimmy Maurer's leg was pinion pine pollen. Warrick: Say that three times fast. Nick: Pinion's a desert tree found in higher elevations 4,500 feet and up. Warrick: 4,500 feet ... Mount Potosi. Nick: Yeah, it fits the bill to a tee. Think our vic was there before he died. Warrick: That's on the ground. Let's get on the net and figure out how he got into the air. Nick: Yeah, look under what? Hot air balloons? There was nothing in the air. I mean, we can ... (WARRICK types in "Flying" for a search.) Nick: Flying? You're a genius. Warrick: Of course. (The computer spews out some results: [Adventures Development Corp. Potosi Glide Center Guidway Travel Meadowlark Travel Nick: (murmuring) Pinion pine pollen, pinion pine pollen, pinion pine pollen. (WARRICK looks at NICK and shakes his head. NICK smiles.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS (STOCK) - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. -- DAY] (CATHERINE and O'RILEY walk up to the house.) O'Riley: That camper-top pickup was reported stolen. The R.O. is a Ned Bookman. Lives in Henderson. Catherine: Well, that's three miles from here. That's walking distance. O'Riley: Gets better. Ned Bookman and our vic live on the same street. Catherine: Ooh, neighbors. (They see the pickup truck and start examining it.) O'Riley: Ignition block's intact. No sign of forced entry. Catherine: Hey, do you smell something? O'Riley: Like what? Catherine: Something ... fruity. O'Riley: I thought it was your perfume. Catherine: No. I never wear perfume at work. It dulls the sense of smell. (CATHERINE walks to the back of the truck. She opens the camper and looks in the back. They see pieces of tree and fruit. Catherine: A-ha. (CATHERINE picks up a fruit and smells it. Mulberries. (O'RILEY nods.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PHYSICIAN'S OFFICE] (GRISSOM is in the doctor's office taking an auditory test.) (As he hears the tones, he lifts up his finger. The lower tones are stronger, the higher tones are weaker.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MOUNTAIN -- DAY] (A photographer takes pictures of the paraglider taking off.) Nick: It's amazing how simple it is. Air fills the canopy and you're off. Warrick: Yeah, sounds like you want to go for a spin. Nick: Well, it looks like it might be a rush. Rick Weston (instructor): Paragliding's a two-piece system -- harness and canopy. Now, the canopies are fitted to you according to body weight so if anyone has dropped a few for vanity speak up now, please. No? Okay. You're going to want to look around. Take in the sights. Do it. Enjoy it. The best view in the world. But don't forget, we weren't born with wings. We had to make them. So respect the equipment, okay? All right, then. It's time to fly. Any last questions? (NICK and WARRICK walk toward RICK WESTON just as he's finishing up class.) Nick: Yeah. (WARRICK raises his hand.) SHORT TIME CUT TO: [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MOUNTAIN - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (NICK and WARRICK walk with the INSTRUCTOR, RICK WESTON.) Rick Weston: Yeah, I know Jimmy. The guy's got an attitude. Cocky. Might be able to handle his own in the air but I don't care for his style. Warrick: What's his style? Rick Weston: Well, he likes to grandstand. You know, this sport's about soaring. He's about showing off. Warrick: Looks like it should be about having fun. Rick Weston: Yeah, it's about having fun. But also, there's etiquette. I mean, a guy breezes in from nowhere does things his own way ... ah, maybe the ... walk back'll humble him a little. Nick: The walk back? Rick Weston: When you fly you need thermals or upshots of air used for lift. I mean, on a good day, you can stay airborne for hours. Nick: How high do these thermals get? Rick Weston: Well, you can take them as fars they take you. One time I was above 18,000 feet, when I came down I was about 35 miles from where I launched. Nick: Whoa. Yeah, the walk back. Rick Weston: (nods toward the truck) That's Jimmy's truck, it's been there since yesterday. What kind of trouble is he in, anyway? Nick: The worst kind. Thanks, Rick. (He nods) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. NED BOOKMAN'S GARAGE/DRIVEWAY -- DAY] (NED'S garage door opens. He shows it to CATHERINE and O'RILEY.) Ned Bookman: Ah, crap! O'Riley: Like we said, your truck's not here. Why did you report it stolen? Ned Bookman: Look, I got another car. I hardly ever use the pickup. I work nights. Anybody could've stolen it. You know, I mean ... it could happen. (CATHERINE looks up and sees the container up in the garage door. She stretches up and grabs it.) Catherine: Hmm. Hide-a-key. (She opens it.) Empty. Anybody else know about this? Ned Bookman: (dryly) Apparently. O'Riley: Now how well did you know the victim? Ned Bookman: Roger lived across the street. Didn't make us pals, just neighbors. (CATHERINE turns around to look at ROGER EDMONDS' house.) Catherine: Looks like Roger's got a mulberry tree. So, Ned, we found mulberry branches in your pickup and there's a mulberry tree in your dead neighbor's yard. I'm starting to like you, Ned and not in a good way. Ned Bookman: (nervously) Uh, F-F-Frank Kraft stole my truck. Uh ... I mean, I mean he-he "borrowed" it. He-he ... he borrows my stuff. I don't mind. Catherine: Let me guess, um, Frank Craft lives in the blue house on the other side of the fence. Ned Bookman: He and Roger, uh ... had problems. But you didn't hear it from me. (CATHERINE tosses the hide-a-key container to NED. He doesn't catch it and bends to pick it up.) Ned Bookman: (calls out) Please don't say anything. (CATHERINE and O'RILEY walk down the driveway.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MOUNTAIN - DAY] (WARRICK and NICK search JIMMY MAURER'S car. WARRICK checks out the contents of the back.) Warrick: Guy's got a surfboard for California and a snowboard for Utah. (NICK opens the bag in the car.) Nick: And a paragliding canopy for Nevada. Ripped to shreds. It's mine now. I'll swab it for epithelials. Warrick: If his canopy was ripped to shreds what the hell was he flying with? (WARRICK finds a note under the windshield wiper.) Nick: What's that? Warrick: "Guess you can fly with anything. Find me when you get back-- T." Nick: What? (WARRICK shows NICK the note. Under the note is a number: 555-1086.) Nick: I'll check it out. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. T'S RESIDENCE -- DAY] (NICK interviews T.) T (photographer): Jimmy once told me, "Only a paraglider knows why the birds sing." Nick: That sounds like a line. T (photographer): It is. They all use it. Skydivers, hang gliders, pilots. On some girls it even works. Nick: Did it work on you? T (photographer): My art is an attempt to express what it feels like to fly and Jimmy was helping me do that. (She shows NICK some photos of JIMMY MAURER.) Nick: Jimmy's leg loops are unbuckled. How come? T (photographer): He never buckled them. Jimmy enjoyed showing people up. It wasn't enough for him to be a great flyer. He needed everyone to see that he was fearless. Nick: Well, I bet that didn't settle real well with Rick Weston. (NICK looks at a particular photo.) When did you take this one? T (photographer): Yesterday. Nick: And is that the canopy Jimmy normally flew with? T (photographer): (shakes her head) Mm-mm. Nick: Where'd he get it? T (photographer): I don't know. He told me somebody messed with his rig but that wasn't going to keep him out of the air. (NICK looks at another photo.) Nick: And who's he butting heads with here? T (photographer): Fred Dacks. Nick: Who's that? T (photographer): He's a good flyer. He's very competitive. Nick: And by the looks of things he was pretty competitive with Jimmy. T (photographer): Always. (Quick flashback to: FRED DACKS walking by.) Jimmy Maurer: You think that's going to give you the edge? I could fly with anything. Fred Dacks: Then show me some air, punk. (Cut to: T snaps photos.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Nick: Is that Fred there in the yellow and white canopy? T (photographer): Jimmy followed his line. He went after him hard. Had to win at all costs. Nick: Expensive price to pay. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. ROADWAY TO KRAFT'S HOUSE -- DAY] (CATHERINE and O'RILEY make their way to FRANK KRAFT'S house.) O'Riley: This guy Kraft's had a dozen complaints filed against him by residents on the block. Property line disputes, petty thefts, one assault. Catherine: A regular Mister Rogers. O'Riley: Yeah. (CATHERINE looks at the groves in the front lawn.) Catherine: Check this out. O'Riley: Creative parking? Catherine: Something. (They walk on the lawn and see that the tracks go all the way up to the tree. They continue walking to the front door.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. KRAFT'S RESIDENCE - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (CATHERINE knocks on the door. FRANK KRAFT opens the door.) Frank Kraft: What do you want? O'Riley: Frank Kraft? Frank Kraft: So what? O'Riley: Detective O'Riley. Vegas P.D. This is Catherine Willows from the crime lab. We'd like to have a few words with you. Frank Kraft: Show me the badge. (O'RILEY shows FRANK KRAFT his badge.) Catherine: That's a hell of a bruise you've got on your chin, Mr. Kraft. How did you get that? Frank Kraft: I sent away for it. You want one of your own? (CATHERINE chuckles lightly.) Catherine: Recoil's a bitch, isn't it? (Quick flashback to: The gun firing and FRANK grunting from the recoil. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: Do you have a dog? Frank Kraft: Do you have a warrant? O'Riley: No, we're just talking here. (FRANK steps back and closes the door.) O'Riley: Nice fellow. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SPORTING GOODS STORE -- DAY] (WARRICK and NICK walk into the store.) Warrick: According to the manager Fred Dacks has been working here for three years. Model employee, knows his gear. (to the SALESWOMAN) Hi. Saleswoman: Hi. Warrick: I'm looking for Fred Dacks. Saleswoman: (points) He's right over there. Warrick: Thanks. Saleswoman: You're welcome. (WARRICK and NICK walks on.) Warrick: But guess who just got hired here a month ago? Nick: Uh, Jimmy Maurer? Warrick: Yeah. Small world, huh? Nick: Yeah, I'll say. Warrick: Fred Dacks? Fred Dacks: Yeah, what can I do for you? Warrick: I'm Warrick Brown, this is Nick Stokes. We're from the Las Vegas Crime Lab. We need to ask you a few questions about Jimmy Maurer. Fred Dacks: Jimmy. The guy was a punk. Other than paragliding and working here we had nothing in common. Warrick: Except maybe that tattoo right there. Fred Dacks: Yeah, only 'cause that fool bit it off me. (Indicates his tattoo.) This was a one-of-a-kind around here until he rolled in with his little birdman or whatever. Warrick: You mean Icarus, right? Fred Dacks: Yeah, whatever. It doesn't change a thing. The guy was a mouth. He threw shade all over the place. Nick: Really? Fred Dacks: Yeah. Nick: Funny, that's what we heard about you. Fred Dacks: Oh, is that right? From who? That artsy chick? He was sticking it to her. What did you think she was going to say? Plus, she was still pissed at me that I didn't take part in her little "masterpiece." Nick: That really doesn't concern me, Mr. Dacks. What I want to know is, did you fly with Jimmy the day he died? Fred Dacks: Hell, no. I wouldn't fly with him. Dude can't match my skills. Nothing but a menace. Warrick: Try again. Your yellow canopy. (WARRICK stops FRED DACKS by showing him the photograph of the two flying.) Nick: We know that's you, Fred. Fred Dacks: Oh, yeah. See? Tight line, leading edge to the wind. Carving it up. Must be me. (Quick flashback to: FRED DACKS taking off and leaving JIMMY MAURER back on the ledge preparing to fly. Cut to: JIMMY MAURER taking off. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Fred Dacks: Yeah, yeah, I remember now, all right? Last time I saw Jimmy, he was still on the ground tugging his junk. Warrick: It wasn't his junk, it was someone else's. Fred Dacks: Well, then, why are you talking to me, man? 'Cause the only rig I got is my own. (He tightens the sleeping bag string and puts it on the shelf.) We done? Warrick: Yeah, for now. Fred Dacks: Uh-huh. (FRED DACKS walks away. NICK picks the sleeping bag that FRED DACKS just handled and tells the SALESWOMAN.) Nick: Uh, you know what? I'll take this one. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. ROGER EDMONDS' HOUSE -- DAY] (O'RILEY walks back toward CATHERINE from talking with NED.) Catherine: Let me guess. Citizen Ned doesn't want to get involved? O'Riley: Kraft scares the crap out of the guy. Catherine: Well, I guess he doesn't want to be seen talking to us. O'Riley: Boiled down, basically he said Kraft and the vic had a pretty bad history. Catherine: Yeah, that's becoming really clear. Check this out. Kraft was stealing cable from Edmonds. Edmonds cuts the line. Hate thy neighbor. Did Ned mention anything about Kraft's dog? O'Riley: Only that it was always chained up in the yard. And always barking. (CATHERINE looks at the chain tied up around the tree.) (Quick flashback to: A car driving up the lawn and toward the dog. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: I'm starting to think the victim may have taken care of that. O'Riley: What about the tire marks? Catherine: Not enough detail -- we'd never get a match. We can't check Kraft's property out without a warrant. But ... (CATHERINE picks up the shears.) O'Riley: Oh, that won't get you a warrant, either. (CATHERINE smiles at O'RILEY.) Catherine: You like jigsaw puzzles? (Cut to: CATHERINE up in the mulberry tree. She marks the branch with a red pen, then cuts it off. She hands it to O'RILEY down below. She marks another branch, then cuts it off.) (O'RILEY bags the branches that CATHERINE hands to him. CATHERINE continues to mark and cut.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB] (NICK sits in the chair waiting for the test results. WARRICK stands getting in GREG'S way. GREG gets the results and hands it to NICK.) Greg: Epithelials on the slashed canopy match the ones on the sleeping bag drawstring. Fred Dacks, both places. Thank you and good night. (GREG goes back to work.) Warrick: So Fred does a number on Jimmy's canopy to keep him from flying. Nick: He's threatened by the guy. It's to keep from getting shown up, you know. Warrick: He needs to be the Top Dog, huh? Nick: Hmm. Warrick: Yeah, that sounds like you. Nick: Who? Warrick: You. Greg: That sounds like both of you. Now please, can you take this somewhere else? Warrick: (ignoring GREG) So ... Jimmy gets a new canopy. Flies, dies. Comes down unattached. We got no canopy, we got no harness. Nick: If we want to find out what happened we need to find that rig. Greg: Well, you're not going to find it here. (GREG takes his stuff out of NICK'S hands and pushes him off of his chair.) Nick: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Warrick: Have you taken your medication today? Greg: See ya. (NICK and WARRICK leave the office.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HALLWAY/PHYSICIAN'S OFFICE -- DAY] (GRISSOM and the DOCTOR walk into the hallway.) Grissom: 125 hertz? Physician: Minus 30 decibels. It's a significant decline from your last visit. Grissom: Yes, but most human speech is above 300 hertz. My midrange is still clear. Physician: If it were clear all the time, you wouldn't be here. I think it's time to consider something like ... surgery. Think about it. Let me know. (The DOCTOR walks away.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - AUDIO/VISUAL LAB -- DAY] (WARRICK and NICK look at the topography on the computer.) Warrick: He took off here and he came down here, right? Nick: Yeah. Now, the canopy's designed to soar. Has to fall downwind of the body. And at 15,000 feet, wind was northeast at 22 miles per hour. Warrick: Well, we get a little classical dynamics going on we can find this rig. (NICK does the computer manipulations and they find a generic area where the rig could possibly be located at. WARRICK points to the monitor.) Warrick: Search area is northeast Summerlin. Nick: Yeah, let's put out a broadcast. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. -- DAY] (WARRICK and NICK walk toward the canopy and rig.) Nick: Patrol unit spotted it on a routine traffic stop. Warrick: Yeah, we lucked out. (They reach the rig.) Nick: What have we got? Warrick: Well ... (WARRICK kneels down and sees JIMMY MAURER'S name on the harness.) Nick: Bingo. Warrick: These leg loops, they're unbuckled. I guess there's no surprise there. Nick: 15,000 feet up, no helmet the only thing holding you in are two shoulder harnesses and a chest strap. Warrick: Not the kind of rush you're looking for? Nick: Uh-uh. (WARRICK and NICK look over the glider. WARRICK finds something.) Warrick: Check this out. "Property of Potosi Glide Center." Nick: That makes two liars. Warrick: Weston didn't tell us he gave Jimmy his replacement rig. Nick: 'Cause he knew how it would end up. (NICK looks at the cut lines.) Nick: Jimmy never had a chance, man. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (WARRICK and BRASS question RICK WESTON.) Rick Weston: No way. I wanted to see him get his ass kicked, not killed. Brass: Yeah, problem is he did get killed. Flying your canopy. Rick Weston: I don't know how that happened. Warrick: Well, it seems the lines leading to the a-riser were cut. (Quick flashback to: JIMMY MAURER is up in the air. Something goes wrong. JIMMY looks up at his lines and sees that they're about to break. The lines break. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Brass: Your rig, your responsibility. This is your chance. I'd take it. Rick Weston: Fred said that, uh ... he just wanted to teach Jimmy a lesson. (Quick flashback to: FRED DACKS approaches RICK WESTON as he puts a rig together.) Fred Dacks: Rick. Rick Weston: Yeah? Fred Dacks: Jimmy's going to hit you up for a canopy. Why don't you give him something big and slow? Rick Weston: Oh, I got that blue-green trainer. That ought to be fun. Fred Dacks: (chuckles ): Perfect. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Rick Weston: Ten minutes later Jimmy shows up all hot. He asked, I gave, he took. Warrick: Couldn't let Fred get the better of him. Rick Weston: Look, Jimmy lacked discipline. He needed to be brought down a peg or two. Brass: You brought him all the way down [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (WARRICK walks into the lab. NICK is already there.) Nick: Don't tell me. Rick pleaded ignorance. Warrick: Right before he lawyered it up. Nick: Really? Well, , that guy's wasting his money. Take a look. (NICK hands WARRICK the tip of the frayed line.) Warrick: It's frayed. You're saying if he had cut it with a tool, it'd be clean. Nick: These lines are spun polymer. They're lightweight, but strong as hell covered in a plastic shell; now, over time that plastic coating wears down. Unprotected lines rub against one another ... (Quick flashback to: Two lines rubbing against one another one strong, the other frayed.) Nick: ... (V.O.) weakening, fraying, until ... (The frayed line breaks. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Nick: ...snap! It's normal wear and tear, man. Warrick: But Weston knew that that canopy was in bad shape. And we don't have any evidence to suggest that he sabotaged it. Nick: Do you remember a case about a year ago? Diablo canyon? Warrick: Oh, the victim of sudden weather that you thought was murdered. Nick: Yeah. You fool me once, shame on you. You fool me twice ... shame on me. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (CATHERINE is in the lab working on the bags. SARA walks in. She clears her throat to get CATHERINE'S attention.) Sara: Can you help me out? Catherine: Uh ... depends. Sara: I can't get out into the field because I'm maxed out on overtime for the month. Catherine: Ah, and you're confined to the lab, huh? Well, hey, look, it's regular hours. I mean, go have dinner with the boyfriend ... Hank, right? And, and ... go, go to a spa. Sara: Hank is not my boyfriend. And you know, those places are filled with bacteria. Catherine: Sara, I don't make the rules around here. You've got to talk to Grissom about that. Sara: Yeah ... he's, um, not really in a talking mood. Catherine: What makes you think he's going talk to me? (SARA shrugs.) Get some rest. Sara: I'm not tired. Really. I'm not tired. (SARA walks out of the lab.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- CONTINUOUS] (CATHERINE starts working on her tree branch pieces. Using the shears, she cuts a piece off of the branch and looks at the cut under a scope.) (SCOPE VIEW) (CATHERINE then takes the first branch piece and tries to match it to the pieces she cut earlier. She finds the match and puts it on the side. She picks up the next branch.) (CATHERINE finds the match to the branch and puts the set on the side.) (Dissolve to: CATHERINE continues to match the branches to the cut pieces.) (Dissolve to: CATHERINE is nearly done.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (NICK and WARRICK study the photograph of the two paragliders.) Warrick: That's the cumulus cloud formed by warm air rising? The thermals? Nick: Yeah, the bigger the cloud, the more air that gets sucked in the stronger the thermal. And check out our boys. Heading straight for it. Warrick: Yep. He's probably getting the ride of his life. (Quick flashback to: JIMMY MAURER up flying and the wind gusting. In front of him FRED DACKS continues to fly. JIMMY gets caught in a particular gust. He looks up at his rig.) Warrick: (V.O.) He's rising fast. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Warrick: Air is getting thinner. 15,000 feet he passes out and suffocates. (Quick flashback to: JIMMY MAURER flying high in the wind gusts. He gasps for air and passes out. Nick: You catch a good thermal and you take it as far as it takes you -- dead or alive. (Quick flashback to: JIMMY MAURER is passed out and flying too high. He falls off of his rig. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Nick: And to show Fred up, Jimmy had to fly higher. Warrick: But he had an oxygen tank ... on his harness. Why didn't he use it? Nick: Good question. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KRAFT'S RESIDENCE -- NIGHT] (POLICE OFFICERS search FRANK KRAFT'S residence. CATHERINE and O'RILEY talk with FRANK KRAFT, who sits at the table.) Catherine: The key word here: Retaliation. Roger Edmonds cuts the cable that you stole. Frank Kraft: He was stealing it himself. Catherine: Of course, he was. (She sighs.) So, then you ... chop up his tree ... (Quick flashback to: FRANK KRAFT cuts up ROGER EDMONDS' mulberry tree. When he's done, he throws the shears into ROGER'S yard. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: ... "borrow" Ned's truck to dump the branches ... Frank Kraft: I borrow Ned's stuff all the time; he doesn't mind. It's not important to him; it's no big deal ... Catherine: (interrupting) Shut up. This isn't about Ned. It's about Roger. So ... while you're out dumping the branches, Roger comes home and sees what you've done to his tree. He ups the ante. (Quick flashback to: FRANK KRAFT'S dog is tied to the tree in the front yard and barking. ROGER EDMONDS drives up the front lawn and into the dog. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: You return home ... find your dog ... start looking for Roger. (Quick flashback to: FRANK KRAFT kneeling next to his dead dog. White flash to: FRANK KRAFT drives NED'S truck to the bar where ROGER is drinking. ROGER swallows his drink and goes to meet FRANK out in the parking lot. FRANK gets out of his car.) Roger Edmonds: Your dog look as bad as my tree? (FRANK grabs ROGER and pushes him into the truck where he takes a swing and misses. ROGER breaks away and opens his car and gets out his gun.) Frank Kraft: ... my dog! Roger Edmonds: Huh, you want some of this, pal, huh?! Come on, come on! (They both fight over the gun. The gun goes off. ROGER falls to the ground and gasps for air. End of flashback. Officer: Detective. (The OFFICER holds up the missing weapon. He gives it to O'RILEY.) O'Riley: Desert Eagle. Catherine: Something else you ... borrowed? Frank Kraft: He killed my dog. (The OFFICERS cuff FRANK KRAFT.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (WARRICK and NICK has JIMMY MAURER'S rig set up in the lab. They examine the oxygen tank.) Warrick: Well, the gauge reads full. Nick: Yeah, I don't think it works, bro. Warrick: There's only one way to find out. (WARRICK tests the oxygen tank.) Warrick: Flowing fine. (NICK sighs and thinks out loud.) Nick: An experienced flyer, prepared for the altitude. There's no reason not to use his oxygen. (He scoffs.) Warrick: (holding the altimeter) Unless he didn't think he needed it. (Cut to: NICK checks the inside of the altimeter. WARRICK goes over the computer topography.) Warrick: Okay. Las Vegas is 2,030 feet above sea level. You got that thing plugged in yet? (NICK sets it up.) Nick: There it is. Warrick: Let's see what we've got. (The computer beeps.) Warrick: 30 feet. (NICK chuckles) Nick: I, uh, I think we're off by a couple of G's. I'll dust it. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM] (WARRICK, NICK and BRASS question FRED DACKS.) Brass: Jimmy's altimeter, your fingerprints ... on the inside. Fred Dacks: That's cute. You should put it in a frame. So I fix gear for other flyers sometimes, big deal. Warrick: Oh, you fixed it, all right. You decalibrated it. It was off by 2,000 feet. (Quick flashback to: FRED DACKS in the back of JIMMY MAURER'S car. He goes through his bag and takes out the altimeter. He opens the altimeter and changes something inside. He closes it up. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Nick: In the air, you lose perspective. You have to trust your instruments Brass: Jimmy didn't know how high he actually was. (Quick flashback to: JIMMY MAURER up in the air and going higher. The wind gusts and JIMMY goes higher. FRED DACKS looks up at JIMMY. JIMMY looks down at FRED DACKS below him and laughs. JIMMY looks at his altimeter which reads 10.039 +. He looks at his second machine and reads +12 / 12,040 ft. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Fred Dacks: Hey, I already told you, man, this dude was soft in the air. He could've turned back anytime. Brass: But you knew he wouldn't. You set him up. Warrick: Yeah, you had perfect sky massive canopy, bitchen thermals, dude and a challenge he'd never refuse. You played him against himself. (Quick flashback to: JIMMY MAURER riding high in the air and hiding higher. The altimeter reads 18.517+. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Nick: You couldn't stand the fact that he was better than you. Fred Dacks: Hey, I called him out, he took me on. Bigger air, higher altitudes push the limit, dude -- that's why we fly. Warrick: No, it's not why you fly. The truth is on your arm. Alecto ... Magaera, Tisiphone; the three furies. Unceasing anger, vengeance and jealousy. That's what you're about. Nick: Sorry, dude. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LOCKER ROOM] (CATHERINE gets her stuff out of the locker. WARRICK walks in.) Warrick: Hey, Catherine. Catherine: Hey ... I heard you know your Greek mythology. I'm impressed -- never would've guessed. (WARRICK goes to his locker to get his things.) Warrick: Yeah, I'm a mystery. Catherine: Yes, you are. (WARRICK chuckles.) Catherine: So, where's Nick? Warrick: He bugged out early. Catherine: Well, good work, you guys -- both of you. Would you let him know? Warrick: Thanks. Yeah, I will. Catherine: I'll see you around. Warrick: All right. Have a good morning. Catherine: You, too. (CATHERINE walks out of the locker room.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE -- CONTINUOUS] (CATHERINE passes by GRISSOM'S office and sees that he's inside. She knocks on his door lightly before entering.) Catherine: Closed that murder I was working. A man's life for a dog's life for a mulberry tree. (she sighs) Sometimes I wonder if people are meant to live together. Grissom: Well, you know what they say -- "good fences make good neighbors." Catherine: Then you'd make a great neighbor. Grissom: Hmm. (CATHERINE chuckles ) (GRISSOM looks down at his laptop screen. He's looking up information on "Otosclerosis". CATHERINE looks down at the laptop.) Catherine: New case? Grissom: Ongoing. (She leans in to look at what he's reading. Unwilling to let anyone in, GRISSOM changes the screen to show something on "The Longhorned Beetle".) Catherine: Oh ... bugs. Grissom: (nods) Mm. Catherine: Enjoy. (CATHERINE leaves the office. GRISSOM switches screens back to "Otosclerosis". He sighs and goes back to reading.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MOUNT POTOSI] (All rigged up and ready to fly, NICK smiles and takes a deep breath before letting go with the wind.) Nick: Whoo-hoo!

Grissom, Nick and Warrick investigate when a body falls from the sky and lands between a couple of rollerbladers. But soon Grissom's hearing problem forces him to leave the case to Nick and Warrick. Meanwhile Catherine investigates the death of a man who was shot with his own gun.

fd_Bones_05x09

fd_Bones_05x09_0

TEASER EXT. BACK ALLEY OF A FAST FOOD CHAIN - NIGHT (FATHER and SON are collecting grease from a grease receptacle. They are maneuvering hoses.) SON: Sucking fry oil from these seafood restaurants are the worst. I don't mind the chicken places but the seafood makes me sick. FATHER: Quit moanin' and put the hose in. SON: (Opens a panel of the grease receptacle) Ugh, smells like shrimp. (Puts the hose in) Okay! Suck it. (The father turns on the machine. Something gets caught in the hose.) SON: Hold it. Hold it. (He pulls out...) Ugh, I got hair. A lot. It's gross. FATHER: Probably a rat. Let's just open 'er up. (They open up the receptacle together. It looks unappetizing.) FATHER: Go ahead and pull it out. (Son reaches his gloved hand in and pulls out a fleshy, dead human. Son screams as the camera pans to the corpse slowly sinking back into the grease.) EXT. BACK ALLEY OF A FAST FOOD CHAIN - DAY (Police sirens.) (FBI and police cars are already at the scene. CAM is also there directing personnel. BOOTH and BRENNAN arrive. They are walking from Booth's car.) BOOTH: Fishing is not a sport. BRENNAN: What? Monuments to sporting events in Ancient Egypt include fishing, as well as swimming and wrestling. BOOTH: C'mon. No sweat, no sport. BRENNAN: Well. Oh, Boris Spassky at chess. He used to perspire profusely. BOOTH: Why do you gotta make things so complicated? Let me break it down for you, okay? Basketball, football, hockey... that's a sport. Board games, fishing? Not a sport. CAM: No problem going easy on the fried food after this one. (They walk towards the body) BOOTH: Woah. BRENNAN: Well, the International Olympic Committee is considering adding chess as a sport. (Booth scoffs) CAM: Not a sport. BOOTH: See? Not a sport. CAM: Neither is, uh, ribbon twirling, bridge, or synchronized swimming. BOOTH: Synchronized swimming. That is not a sport. That's for sure. (Brennan makes an unhappy noise) CAM: Oh god. I'm in the middle of something, aren't I? (Booth whistles and points to the body) CAM: Oh look! Dead guy. BOOTH: Yeah, look at that. Colonel's not gonna like this one. CAM: Male. No sign of clothing. All other stats still unknown. He was found at the bottom of this grease receptacle by those lovely gentlemen over there. BRENNAN: The remains are covered in flesh. Why am I here? CAM: I don't know. I told Booth. (Booth makes a noise) CAM: Oh god. In the middle, again. BOOTH: Look, I heard murder victim, you know, in cooking oil and I thought, 'Bones would just love this one'. So, how long has tempura guy been in there? CAM: The tank hasn't been emptied in a couple weeks. BOOTH: Two weeks, okay. BRENNAN: I could be biking now. An activity during which I perspire. CAM: Daily addition of hot oil hastened decomposition and led to early hydration of body fat. BOOTH: God, so he drowned or maybe fried? BRENNAN: Billiards is considered a sport by the International Olympic Committee. BOOTH: Bones, we're working here. BRENNAN: Not me. (She walks away, playing with her phone) BOOTH: Wa-woah. CAM: Can we get the body out of here, please? (She also moves away and observes as the tech guys lift the body out) TECH GUY: Be careful now. Easy. CAM: Okay, careful. TECH GUY: Easy. Is the skin slipping? The skin is slipping! (And all of the skin, organs, and intestines start to fall off in clumps onto the pavement. Cam and Booth watch in fascination, horror, and disgust. As do we all.) CAM: Oh my. BOOTH: Uh, Bones! Look at that - bones, huh? BRENNAN: Oh, this is good for me. BOOTH: Yeah. (Brennan walks over to the four tech guys who are still holding onto the skeleton. She snaps on some gloves) INT. JEFFERSONIAN - MEDICO-LEGAL LAB (HODGINS, SWEETS, and FISHER are standing around a workstation) SWEETS: You're kidding. Avatar? FISHER: Yup. (Flicks at the three 'Avatar Premiere' tickets in his hand) There were over 10 000 entries for 500 tickets. SWEETS: And you won. FISHER: Yeah. Good fortune. If I thought that good fortune existed. HODGINS: And you're taking us. FISHER: All friendship is fleeting and ends in abandonment so, why not spend a few good hours with you guys until it all falls apart. (Fisher has a file in his hand and the three of them are walking towards another workstation) SWEETS: Works for me. HODGINS: Heck yeah, it does. Nice. Avatar. You guys do realize that being this excited about a sci-fi film will drastically cut down on the number of women that will sleep with us. FISHER: Oh, I'm into the high double digits, sex-wise so... not worried. SWEETS: You're closing in on a hundred women? FISHER: Mhm. (Sweets does not look happy about this) BRENNAN (O.S.): Mr. Fisher? I'm ready. FISHER: Coming, Dr. Brennan. (Fisher slaps Hodgins with the folder and walks off) SWEETS: A hundred women? That's a lot. HODGINS: Yeah, yeah. Hats off to the guy, huh? INT. JEFFERSONIAN - FORENSIC PLATFORM (Brennan and Fisher are examining the body) BRENNAN: Compound depressed fracture to the temporal bone. FISHER: More hairline fractures on the femur, humerus, and scapula. BRENNAN: And here. On the right ilium. FISHER: There are puncture marks on the ilium, ilia lumbar and sacroiliac. So, he was beaten and stabbed. Somebody really went after this guy. (Cam arrives, carrying a bowl of organ) CAM: Those injuries didn't kill him. There's grease in all levels of the bronchi, which means our victim was alive when he was tossed into the vat. (She squeezes liquid out of the lung into the bowl) Cause of death is drowning in cooking. Or, vice versa. FISHER: Saturated fats. They're a killer. (The three of them walk over to a computer as Cam brings up a graph) CAM: Also, carboxyhemoglobin test shows our victim had a 17% carbon monoxide level - triple the norm and double what even the heaviest people would have. FISHER: He could've worked with cars. Along the freeway, maybe a tollbooth? BRENNAN: (Turns back to the body) Let's review occupational markers. Acute asymmetrical spinal subluxation, which in life would've been apparent in a pronounced leftward lean. Chronic periosteal reaction with bone formation over the clavical - CAM: - Constant pressure on his collarbone. BRENNAN: Mhm. Remodeled bite marks on the tibia - probably canine. FISHER: Sounds like this guy spent most of his life carrying something heavy on his left shoulder while dodging dogs. BRENNAN: Together with the high levels of carbon monoxide, I posit that our victim was a mail carrier. FISHER: Someone went postal on this postman. OPENING CREDITS ACT TWO INT. FBI HEADQUARTERS - KITCHEN (Booth shows Brennan the Postal ID card of STEVE RIFTON. Booth is sitting on the counter while Brennan is examining the card.) BOOTH: Steve Rifton: 26 year-old mailman reported missing by his wife 12 days ago. (He hops off the counter) You figured out he was a mailman and guess what? He's a mailman! BRENNAN: Why are you surprised? BOOTH: It just surprises me. It amazes me sometimes how you figure that stuff out - he's a mailman, you figured that out. (Booth takes out a map) BRENNAN: I'm good at my job. BOOTH: Wait 'til you see what I got here. Okay. Here - BRENNAN: Oh, marked in red - BOOTH: Right - Is Steve Rifton's postal route. (He circles the area with his finger) And here - BRENNAN: Marked in black - BOOTH: Right - Is the grease truck route. See what I've done here? BRENNAN: Obviously, you've created a geographic Venn diagram. BOOTH: No, no, no, no, incorrect. What I've shown here is they've overlapped in the same area. BRENNAN: You need to Google 'Venn diagram'. BOOTH: No, you know what I'm thinking? Lonely housewife, you know, husband away on a business trip. Bow-chicka-wow-wow. BRENNAN: What's 'bow-chicka-wow-wow'? BOOTH: You know, boom-clicka-mow-mow. It's very - uh - common porno-plot theme which, in real life, it's a jealous husband stuffing, you know, a horny mailman in the grease traps. (Booth is also attempting to refold the map, can't, which results in Brennan taking it from him, successfully refolding it and handing it back. This whole exchange is rather adorable.) BRENNAN: Who's that? BOOTH: It's the victim's wife. BRENNAN: (She stops him as they near the sliding doors) Well, are we going to tell her about the clacka-mow-boom-chicka-mow-mow-boom? BOOTH: (He opens the door) No, no, it's bow-chicka-wow-wow, boom-clacka-mow-mow. INT. FBI HEADQUARTERS - CONFERENCE ROOM (Booth, Brennan and JILL RIFTON are sitting at the desk) JILL RIFTON: It's so unfair. All those years of effort. Steve finally gets somewhere and then gets killed. BOOTH: Can you think of anyone who would want your husband dead? JILL RIFTON: You know who Steve is, right? I mean, was. BRENNAN: A postman. BOOTH: Yeah, mailman. JILL RIFTON: That was Steve's job, his vocation. (She takes out her wallet from her purse) His avocation was gaming. (She hands Brennan a picture) BRENNAN: He was a professional gambler? (She shows Booth the picture) JILL RIFTON: Video gaming. My husband became the reigning world champ in Punky Pong after he got a perfect score. It was on the news. BOOTH: Did he have any enemies? JILL RIFTON: Sure. The thousands of people he beat out for the world title. It's a very competitive sport. BRENNAN: Ah, Agent Booth would never accept Punky Pong as a sport. BOOTH: Did your husband have any trouble at work? JILL RIFTON: Steve was never gonna be Postmaster General, that's for sure. He had a very high IQ; you know how those people can be - very absentminded. BRENNAN: I don't think that's true. At all. JILL RIFTON: Sometimes it was tough to get his attention but he was a good man. Please find whoever hurt him. INT. JEFFERSONIAN - OOKEY ROOM (Fisher and Hodgins are standing around while the body soaks in a clear container with kegs of beer feeding into it.) HODGINS: Does Dr. Brennan know you're soaking the body in beer? FISHER: Yeast speeds up the putrefaction process. It's the kinder, gentler way of removing the last vestiges of flesh and cartilage from the skeleton. (Sweets enters) SWEETS: Is that beer? HODGINS: Yeah. Yeah, it beats being scrapped or eaten by beetles. FISHER: Technically, his remaining cells will be very drunk before he ceases to exist. HODGINS: So, hey, Fisher. How long does this thing take to marinate? FISHER: Few hours. HODGINS: Okay, good. Both of you - come with me. INT. JEFFERSONIAN - ANGELA'S OFFICE (The Avatar trailer plays on the Angelatron.) SWEETS: Oh, okay, I am no longer able to discern special effects from live action. HODGINS: This is 2D. 3D is gonna blow your mind. Oh, one of us needs to be in line right now. FISHER: Okay, we're up against freaks and fanatics for the best seats. To defeat them, we must become freaks and fanatics. SWEETS: (looking at his PDA) Right, well, I cleared most of my days but I am a mental health professional with responsibilities. (ANGELA walks in looking less than happy) FISHER: Between me and Hodgins, we'll have the forensics covered. ANGELA: What's with the blue people? (The three guys turn to look at her) HODGINS, SWEETS, FISHER (in unison): The Navi ANGELA: I beg your pardon. FISHER: Denizens of a lush planet called Pandora. ANGELA: You boys are not allowed to watch movies on my monitor. (Angela, with arms crossed, walks in front of the screen) HODGINS: Angela. This is so much more than a movie. SWEETS: Yeah, I mean, we're sorry but the screen is so big. FISHER: You get p0rn on this thing? ANGELA: (Pointing) Get out. (More forcefully) Out. (They leave. Hodgins hands her the control.) INT. JEFFERSONIAN - MEDICO-LEGAL LAB (Fisher, Hodgins, and Sweets are planning) FISHER: All right, listen, I'll take the first shift, you guys cover me. SWEETS: Everyone email me your projected availabilities, I'll set up a schedule. HODGINS: Yup. FISHER: Okay. (They break.) EXT. SEEGER HOME - NIGHT (Booth and Brennan are getting out of his car) BOOTH: Our mailman had a clean record except for complaints from this guy Seeger. BRENNAN: Right. Seeger claims that he trespassed and was acting creepy around his son. BOOTH: Well, protecting the well being of your own kid seems like a good reason to kill someone - I'm not saying that I approve, I'm just saying - look, I understand. (They approach the garage and hear video game noises. They see a boy, DOUGIE SEEGER. He is concentrating intently on the game.) BRENNAN: Oo. This is probably the child who got creeped on by the victim. (They enter the garage) Hello? BOOTH: Excuse me. Hello? BRENNAN: Hello? BOOTH: Hi. I'm Agent Booth. (He takes out his badge) I'm with the FBI. BRENNAN: Oh, show him your gun. Kids love guns. BOOTH: Let me handle this. (Dougie's father, KEITH SEEGER, enters from the house entrance) KEITH SEEGER: Can I help you? BOOTH: Yeah, Agent Booth with the FBI. I'm her to talk to you about the mailman incident. KEITH SEEGER: That was 3 months ago. BOOTH: Right. And what was the problem? KEITH SEEGER: The problem was - I come out, the guy is here staring at my son. Dougie, uh, is autistic. He can't watch out for himself in that way. BRENNAN: (Standing next to the machine where Dougie is playing) He's very focused on this game. KEITH SEEGER: Punky Pong. Dougie plays it most of the day. Take it away, he shuts - shuts down. So uh, someone else complain about the mailman? That why the FBI's involved? BOOTH: Look. You're aware that this mailman is the Punky Pong World Champion. KEITH SEEGER: You gotta be kidding me. That's why he was checking out Dougie? The game? Well, he should've said something. He just took off. That's why I made the complaint. If I was out of line, I'll apologize. (The video game screen shows Game Over. Dougie looks over at Brennan who smiles at him. He just turns back to the game and starts over at level 1.) INT. JEFFERSONIAN - ANGELA'S OFFICE - LATER (Angela and Brennan are standing in front of Angela's monitor where screen shots of Punky Pong are seen.) ANGELA: Punky Pong is kind of an old-school game but it takes a lot of skill. There are a lot of message boards and websites dedicated to it even today. But, I found something on one of them - BRENNAN: How many people play? ANGELA: Uh, thousands. They put out a retro version on modern platforms like Xbox and it's having this whole resurgence but what I found is - BRENNAN: Why do they only allow world records to be attained on a vintage arcade machine? ANGELA: Well, I guess the purists like it old school. But, sweetie, I think you need to see - BRENNAN: Are there many of those machines? Because the autistic boy had one. ANGELA: Uh, I think around 20 000 were made and there are probably about 1500 that are still in existence but I think this is something that you really need to see. (She brings up a video of BILLY GABEL) This is Billy Gabel. He was the Punky Pong World Champion before our murder victim claimed the throne. (Angela hits play) BILLY GABEL (on screen, vehemently): I am still the rightful champion. The manner in which Steve Rifton stole my crown is shameful. I will not put up with this. Steve Rifton: I am the rightful and eternal World Champion and you are dead. BRENNAN: Angela. You should've shown me this first. ANGELA: Uh - (chuckles good-naturedly as she clearly tried to) well - okay. ACT THREE INT. FBI HEADQUARTERS - SWEETS' OFFICE - NEXT DAY (Sweets watches the video of Billy Gabel on his laptop with Booth and Brennan) SWEETS: Okay. So, video games provide the outlet for aggression that more physically taxing sports also provide. BOOTH: C'mon, video games are not a sport. BRENNAN: Well, technically they are. Sport being a competitive activity governed by a set of rules - SWEETS: Dr. Brennan is correct. BOOTH: Right, okay, so you actually think that this geek is capable of murder because some guy beat his high score? SWEETS: Oh yeah. If one's instincts are deeply rooted in the status that they've enjoyed from the game and someone takes that away - BOOTH: It would just be another geek lining up to see a space movie. SWEETS: No! It's not just another space movie! It's a symbol-laden alternate reality with... (Booth and Brennan look at him strangely. Sweets sighs and gives up.) So, this guy was the recognized champion for nearly 10 years, right? If he feels that his notoriety was stolen, he might take revenge. (Sweets' phone rings. It's Hodgins.) Sorry. (He exchanges some weird looks with Booth and Brennan as he ponders whether to answer. He does.) This is Dr. Lance Sweets. Hodgins (O.S.): Yo. INT. JEFFERSONIAN - OOKEY ROOM (Hodgins is straddling the phone on his shoulder as he examines evidence) HODGINS: Fisher just called from the movie line. He's gotta get back to the lab so you have to relieve him because I can't. INTERCUT - TELEPHONE CONVERSATION SWEETS: I understand. That's a fascinating case, um - (to Booth and Brennan) I'm needed for a consult. We're - we're through here, right? BOOTH: Oh no, you're coming with us to see if this geek is actually psycho or not, pal. SWEETS: Yeah... okay. (Into phone) So I'm afraid you're gonna have to, uh, take care of the patient on your own at this juncture. Right now. HODGINS: Sweets, I'm knee-deep in larvae and dicotyledons here. SWEETS: I'm sorry doctor. Bye now. HODGINS (O.S.): Sweets! Don't - (Sweets hangs up) HODGINS: Okay. (Hodgins hangs up with a sigh) INT. JEFFERSONIAN - OOKEY ROOM - A LITTLE LATER (Hodgins is briefing Cam. He says all this rather quickly.) HODGINS: This is it. This is it. This is all I've got so far. CAM: Please tell me these all crawled into the dumpster after the oil was removed from the restaurant. HODGINS: No. All the insects had antemortem burns, which means they flew into the oil while it was cooking. CAM: So easy to diet around here. HODGINS: So, I assumed that the fragment of the cricket exoskeleton from the skull wound trace had migrated into the skull from the grease but definitely uncooked which means my three mysterious particulates were all transferred from the weapon. Now, (he brings up a new picture on the computer screen) the exoskeleton is from the Gryllidae family, probably a nocturnal cricket, the graminoid seed is from a fescue grass and I thought the silk-like fiber was from a tetrapod but what kind is indeterminate at this point. CAM: You're talking really fast. Are you late for something? HODGINS: No. No. Why? Do you want me to go through it all again, more slowly? CAM: No, that's okay. Do you know where the cricket and the grass came from? HODGINS: Yes. Yes. North America. CAM: Great. So, Asia's out. HODGINS: I'm still analyzing what was in the water where the fescue grew but, you know, I can check that against specific water districts and narrow down the location further, so... CAM: Great. (Cam turns to leave and Hodgins checks his watch) CAM: Oh. (She turns back around) Have you Fisher? HODGINS: Uh, no. No. But I'll go find him. CAM: That's not necessary. I'm sure he'll turn up. HODGINS: Yeah, but you know what, the mass spec is doing its thing and the computer, the computer really checks all the districts so I'm on autopilot here for at least the next 2 hours and we know Fisher - how depressed he gets - so I'll go find him. (Hodgins rushes out while Cam is left staring after him, confused) INT. GABEL VINTAGE GAME REPAIR SHOP (Booth, Brennan, and Sweets enters. BILLY GABEL is at the back, repairing something. Booth shows Sweets a plaque with "Pong Master Bill" 2004 engraved on it. BOOTH: (He pulls the electrical plug and the machine sounds stop) FBI. You Pong Master Bill? BILLY GABEL: That's right. SWEETS: We're here about the threats you made against Steve Rifton on the internet. BILLY GABEL: That guy cheated. I don't believe he played a perfect game. I want my title back. BRENNAN: Is this how you made a living? Repairing vintage arcade games? BILLY GABEL: It's a skill. I know why he called you. 'Cause he knows what he did was wrong. BOOTH: He's dead. Murdered. BILLY GABEL: What? BOOTH: Did you kill him? BRENNAN: These are very complex devices and it appears you have to machine many of the parts yourself. BILLY GABEL: Look, if I was gonna kill somebody, it would be the Ref. He's the one that accepted Steve's crappy videotape as evidence of a perfect game. BOOTH: And this Ref's name is? BILLY GABEL: Chris Ballinger. H heads the Gemini Constellation - the organization that decides on World Records for Punky Pong. Right after Ref declared Steve World Champion, they went into business together. BRENNAN: Oh. What kind of business? BILLY GABEL: Going out on tours, signing autographs. The way I hear it, the Ref is hooked up with some babe and now he's doing better than ever. Maybe he killed Rifton. EXT. MOVIE THEATRE (It's the screening of Avatar and there is a long line-up outside the theatre. Hodgins finds Fisher in the line.) HODGINS: Fisher. There you are. Hey. You gotta get going, man, Cam's looking for you. FISHER: It's okay. I gotta set this tent up. HODGINS: Hey, this is good! This is really good positioning here, man. Not bad. FISHER: You might want to step back. Look out! (The tent enlarges as Fisher throws to stretch it out.) HODGINS: Wow, you do this often? FISHER: Gotta come prepared. Oh, fresh meat tarts and a box of wine. (He hands the cooler and wine to Hodgins) Have at it. (Fisher leaves) HODGINS: Nice. INT. JEFFERSONIAN - BONE ROOM (Fisher rushes in, out of breath. Cam soon follows.) FISHER: Hey. CAM: Hey. Are you out of breath, Mr. Fisher? FISHER: No, I'm - I'm just thankful I'm breathing, you know. Never know when that luxury will end. So, I examined the uh, the marks on the pelvis. They were made by a hollow rigid weapon 9.4 mm in diameter. CAM: Was the same weapon used on the victim's skull? FISHER: That seems unlikely because the cranial injury was made by a blunt instrument, uh, that left a 12 cm fracture... right there. CAM: Any guesses to what it could be? FISHER: Not at all. No. But I did, uh, scrap what looks like metal shavings from both the cranial fracture and the uh, stab wounds in the pelvis. Maybe Hodgins can find a match. CAM: Very good, Mr. Fisher. (She turns to leave) FISHER: All right, I've always been a multitasker. CAM: Multitasker? (She turns around again) What would be splitting your focus? FISHER: The head and the pelvis. Completely separate parts of the body. CAM: Right. Did Hodgins come back with you 'cause I haven't seen him. FISHER: Yeah, he should be out there. I gotta get back to work here but he's... check the men's room. Or don't. Good luck. (Cam leaves. Fisher breathes a sigh of relief.) INT. VIDEO ARCADE (Opens on a sign that says: "Play on Steve Rifton's Winning Punky Pong Machine; High Score plays DEIRDRE RYAN". Brennan, Booth, and Sweets are walking through.) BRENNAN: There is some excellent hand-eye coordination here. This is an activity that could definitely be considered a sport. SWEETS: Yeah. There's an intense, competitive edge, skill, stamina - BOOTH: For something to be a sport, there has to be some chance of injury, okay guys? BRENNAN: Oh, Booth. That man dressed in traditional stripes could be the Ref. BOOTH: Not that kind of Ref, okay? (He shows CHRIS BALLINGER his badge) FBI. CHRIS BALLINGER: What can I do for the FBI? BOOTH: Well, we'd like to ask you a few questions about Steve Rifton. CHRIS BALLINGER: Oh, I've got a few myself. The guy just disappeared on me. We had a business deal and he left me high and dry. FBI - what? He wasn't kidnapped, was he? BOOTH: Oh, he's dead. Which is probably why he didn't keep his business commitment. CHRIS BALLINGER: He's dead? Oh man. DEIRDRE RYAN: Yes! Take that Steve Rifton! I am the reigning empress of Punky Pong! (High fives and cheers all around) BRENNAN: (Points) She must be the babe who replaced Steve. SWEETS: Wow. You didn't waste any time, did you? CHRIS BALLINGER: Look, I had business commitments with Steve. Had to move quickly or I was gonna lose a ton of dough. DEIRDRE RYAN: (Approaches the group) What's up Chris? CHRIS BALLINGER: Deirdre. These people are with the FBI. (Brennan is pushing through the crowd to get to the machine) SWEETS: Plus, gamers are predominantly male so a lot more are gonna turn out to see her compete, right? DEIRDRE RYAN: Sexist little twerp. It's not about looks, it's about ability. CHRIS BALLINGER: Steve is dead, Deirdre. We are suspects so you don't say a thing to these people. BRENNAN: Booth? BOOTH: Yeah. BRENNAN: The front of this machine has been scrubbed. (The crowd makes way for Booth and Sweets to approach Brennan. She shines an ultraviolet light on the machine. It is covered in blood.) BOOTH: What do you got? BRENNAN: Blood. BOOTH: Yup. 'K, that's it! Machine is coming with us. Part of a federal investigation now. [SCENE_BREAK] ACT FOUR INT. FBI HEADQUARTERS - INTERROGATION ROOM BOOTH: Did you sign this check, Mr. Ballinger? CHRIS BALLINGER: Yeah, yeah, this is made out to Steve Rifton BOOTH: $12 000. That's a lot of money for an old arcade machine. CHRIS BALLINGER: Steve not only got the world record in Punky Pong on that very machine, okay? He got a perfect score. What that machine is, there? Is a piece of gaming history. Serious gamers would drop 50 bucks a pop to play on a unique piece of equipment like that. $100 if Steve was standing beside it. BOOTH: You see, that is a conflict of interest, right there. So you decide if Rifton gets the world record and you profit from it. CHRIS BALLINGER: You've been talking to Billy Gabel, am I right? BOOTH: No, we've got a tape proving that Steve Rifton won fair and square, am I right? CHRIS BALLINGER: Yeah. That's how we do it. Now, if you guys want it for verification, fine. I'll, I'll hand it over. BOOTH: How about the blood? Can you explain the blood on the machine? CHRIS BALLINGER: Kids play the game, right? They get anxious, hyper even. Sometimes, their noses bleed. Sometimes, they put a little sauce into it and they bash their heads. Either way, I'm cleaning blood off the floor every day. We had a business plan, me and Steve. Why would I kill him? BOOTH: I don't know. Maybe he reneges, you take exception, heat of the moment... it's an accident? CHRIS BALLINGER: I'm not like that, ask anybody. What I am like is a guy who's smart enough to ask for a lawyer. BOOTH: No problem. EXT. MOVIE THEATRE (Sweets is sitting in the lawn chair reading the DSM-IV-TR. TORI PAYNE skips up to him.) TORI PAYNE: Hey. SWEETS: Hey. TORI PAYNE: What's with the formal wear? SWEETS: Ah... TORI PAYNE: Little light reading, you got there. What are you? Like, a first year psychology student or something. SWEETS: Sort of. Not first year, though. I'm Lance. (He proffers a hand to shake) TORI PAYNE: Lance. Very phallic name you got there. My name's Payne and if your name's as accurate as mine then we should get better acquainted. SWEETS: Oh. Well, that's uh - I have a girlfriend, I'm sorry. TORI PAYNE: So? I have a boyfriend but he's not coming to this movie. Is your girlfriend? SWEETS: No. TORI PAYNE: We're just talkin', right? SWEETS: Yeah. Albeit, somewhat suggestively. TORI PAYNE: So, I'll change the subject. Do you, uh - do you like my tattoos? (She lifts her top) SWEETS: Very much. I've always enjoyed calligraphy. INT. JEFFERSONIAN - BONE ROOM (Hodgins and Fisher are examining the head wound.) HODGINS: What is that? 10 cm in length? FISHER: 12. HODGINS: Great. One of us needs to relieve Sweets. FISHER: I gotta write a report up on this. There's a lip here. I'm thinking a smooth, rounded edge. HODGINS: (Looks at his watch) Okay, Sweets said he had an appointment he can't miss so... FISHER: Follow me on this. The mailman is delivering his package to the uh - lady of the house, if you catch my drift. The husband comes home, finds the nearest blunt instrument which is a cast-iron frying pan, huh? And... wham! The postman who rang twice never rang again. HODGINS: Yeah. Yeah, that totally works. FISHER: Mhmm. HODGINS: If the husband is a peacock wrangler who fights crickets after work in a creeping red fescue field. FISHER: Peacock? HODGINS: Yeah, what I thought was silk turns out to be thread from the after-feather of a peacock. FISHER: You and your particulates always ruining the day for me. HODGINS: Okay, look. I'm gonna go relieve Sweets. You just - if anyone asks, tell 'em I'm - I'm defligisterizing Tachymosis Franklangellacum. (Hodgins rushes out) FISHER: What, is that a real thing? Or are you just trying to be funny? 'Cause that didn't sound real. At all. INT. JEFFERSONIAN - ANGELA'S OFFICE (Cam and Angela are watching her monitor) ANGELA: This is Steve Rifton's winning tape. CAM: How many times have you watched this? ANGELA: Ugh, I'm not watching it, I'm analyzing it. CAM: And? ANGELA: Uninterrupted control track which means no tampering. CAM: The only thing you see on this tape is the game playing. No hands, no audio, just the screen. ANGELA: Mhmm. 3 hours. This perfect game's been downloaded and watched hundreds of thousands of times by expert gaming eyes. Not one anal-retentive, detail-oriented, paranoid geek is calling foul, so... CAM: Can I see the last part? ANGELA: The, uh, last stage of the game is called 'The Kill Screen'. Three hours of his life to get to this point - flipping the monkey. CAM: Wait, can you play that again? ANGELA: (She rewinds the video) What do you see? CAM: The injuries the monkey suffers are the same as the victim's. ANGELA: Oh my god. EXT. MOVIE THEATRE (It is raining. Tori Payne is now sitting on Sweets' lap, sharing an umbrella.) TORI PAYNE: Okay, sometimes, I taste salt in my mouth when there isn't any. SWEETS: Okay? TORI PAYNE: What mental illness do I have? SWEETS: Uh... do you taste salt now? TORI PAYNE: You tell me. (She leans in) SWEETS: Hodgins! (He gets up hastely) HODGINS: Uh... yeah. Yeah. Who's your friend? SWEETS: Uh... this is Tori Payne. This is Jack Hodgins. HODGINS: Hi. Um... (He taps his watch) Sweets. SWEETS: Right, I'm sorry, I should have called you. Um, there's a sudden opening in my schedule. HODGINS: Mhm. Mhm. So, does this have anything to do with Fisher's double digits? SWEETS: No, no, no, no, no, of course not. No. That is not this situation. HODGINS: Sweets. SWEETS: Yeah. HODGINS: If you need anything, just call me. SWEETS: No, I'm good. I'm good. We're good. HODGINS: Bye. (Hodgins leaves) SWEETS: Bye. (Tori Payne pushes him down onto the seat and settles on his lap) Oh. TORI PAYNE: Salt? INT. JEFFERSONIAN - FORENSIC PLATFORM (The Punky Pong machine is on the platform as well. Brennan, Cam, and Fisher are present.) BRENNAN: (She swipes and enters the platform) Did the blood come from our victim? CAM: No. Like the guy said, it seems to have come from a number of people and it's been totally degraded by a liquid. BRENNAN: Oh. What liquid? CAM: Mostly cola. FISHER: Here's a mikrosil cast of the wound, Dr. Brennan. BRENNAN: Well, I don't see any protuberances on the machine that correspond to the shape of the wound. CAM: Also, no sign of crickets, grass seed, or peacock feathers. FISHER: The particulates Dr. Hodgins found. BRENNAN: Well, those particulates were only found in the head wound, correct? CAM: Yes. BRENNAN: Is there anything on this machine that could explain the groin wound? FISHER: There's an access panel at groin level. (He opens the access panel) I don't see anything. CAM: Shall I get an ALS? BRENNAN: I don't see how something could pop out of there, stab our victim and then withdraw it - (Something injures Fisher's hand) CAM: Oh! FISHER: Ow! CAM: Are you all right? FISHER: Uh, yeah, that was dumb. (He peels pack his gloves) Yeah, I just jammed my hand against the bottom of the control stick. BRENNAN: (She examines Fisher's hand) The dimensions and the shape are very similar to the marks on the victim's pelvis. CAM: The joystick isn't long enough to pass through the abdominal wall and the intestines. BRENNAN: Oh, Billy Gabel has a whole supply of this piping at his workshop. Uncut. ACT FIVE INT. GABEL VINTAGE GAME REPAIR SHOP (Booth, Brennan, and an FBI team enter.) BOOTH: Hey. Pong boy. BILLY GABEL: Now what? BOOTH: Get your hands off everything. We've got a search warrant. (Deirdre Ryan comes out from behind a machine) DEIRDRE RYAN: Are you guys following me? BOOTH: Oh, some babe, Billy? BRENNAN: You knew her all along. DEIRDRE RYAN: I'm not allowed to fix my game? Billy's the only one with first generation Qbert parts. BOOTH: Yeah, really, because it seems to me that you two had reason to get rid of Steve. DEIRDRE RYAN: Look, man. I didn't have to kill him. I got a nice rack, a cute ass, and can wipe out any one at Punky Pong. BOOTH: Right, except for Steve, which is why you two teamed up. BILLY GABEL: She's just here for parts. BRENNAN: Booth? BOOTH: Yeah. BRENNAN: (She holds up some pipes) These are the types of piping congruent with the wounds on Fisher's hand and the victim's groin. BOOTH: Oh, pipe. Okay, bag that. Bag the pipe. EXT. MOVIE THEATRE (Sweets and Tori Payne are inside the tent, drinking boxed wine.) TORI PAYNE: An actual shrink. That is so, just hot. (She takes off her glasses) SWEETS: Yeah, but you know, my profession doesn't really preclude me from my fascination with sci-fi and fantasy. (Tori starts to unbutton his shirt) Oh really? TORI PAYNE: Does this tent zipper have a lock on it? SWEETS: Hm? No! No, no, no, no. There's no kind of privacy here and god! You really have fleet fingers. I've got a girlfriend. TORI PAYNE: Yeah. So you say. (They kiss) SWEETS: That shouldn't have happened. Why did that happen? TORI PAYNE: I know. It's like that one scene in Mimic where you're in a hot kiss one minute and then the next minute you're getting your brain sucked out by a mutant. SWEETS: (They kiss again but this time, he pulls back) Mm, um... I'm sorry. I've gotta make a call. (He dials his cellphone) TORI PAYNE: Would it help you get over this whole girlfriend thing if maybe you saw my tattoos again? SWEETS: I - (Into phone) Where are you guys? I need back-up. INT. JEFFERSONIAN - OOKEY ROOM HODGINS: You told me to get lost so now, I gotta test the tensile strength of the - INTERCUT - TELEPHONE CONVERSATION SWEETS: (Tori lifts up her shirt again) Just please, I need to be released - relieved. Please. HODGINS: Yeah. Sorry doctor, oh! And uh, save me a meat tart. Bye now. (Hodgins hangs up) SWEETS: Uh, that was an emergency... (Tori pulls him towards her) ...family emergency. INT. JEFFERSONIAN - BONE ROOM (Fisher and Brennan are examining the victim) FISHER: This could be an anomaly of the scaphoid BRENNAN: Oh. Magnify that, please. FISHER: Looks like resorption. What could have caused that? BRENNAN: A cyst. The victim had De Quervain's tenosynovitis. A painful condition caused by extreme stress on the wrist. FISHER: Which means... BRENNAN: Billy Gabel was correct. Steve Rifton must have cheated. On the date the videotape was made, he would not be capable of playing the game. (Brennan rushes out) FISHER: Okay. (Fisher looks down the hallway after Brennan and then leaves, too) INT. JEFFERSONIAN - OOKEY ROOM (Cam is observing as Hodgins tests the tensile strength of several pipes.) HODGINS: Brennan found five types of piping of the same dimensions. Aluminum, brass, steel, stainless steel and copper. I'm testing to see if any of them shatter under pressure. CAM: So far, they just bend. HODGINS: Tensile strength is 760 MPa. So far, I've tried torsion, impact, and got nothing more than bending and denting. (Angela enters) CAM: So, the pelvic injuries couldn't have been caused by the piping we found in Billy's workshop. HODGINS: Yeah, no. ANGELA: (She's shocked to see the tattoo of her face on Hodgins' shoulder) I'm - I'm... tattooed. On your arm. HODGINS: We're looking for a more brittle substance. Ange. It's not what you think. ANGELA: What I think is that there's a very large tattoo of me that's indelibly affixed to your skin. CAM: I'm gonna flee right now. (Cam leaves) HODGINS: I didn't do it. ANGELA: Wait a minute. My dad? (Hodgins chuckles and nods) My father did that to you? HODGINS: Let's just say he was trying to prove a point. ANGELA: I am so gonna kick his Texan bad-ass. You - you need to get that removed. HODGINS: Why? ANGELA: Because we are not together anymore and I don't want you sweating all over my face. And I - you need to get that lasered. (Angela leaves. Hodgins looks at the tattoo with a smile.) EXT. MOVIE THEATRE (Sweets and Tori Payne are still in the tent but Sweets is trying to leave.) TORI PAYNE: Why are you avoiding me? Doctor, it's just s*x. SWEETS: I know. I know. It's just the combination of meat tarts and boxed wine has got me a little queasy so... (Sweets backs out of the tent and bumps into Fisher) FISHER: Oh. Sorry. (Tori pokes her head out of the tent and spots Fisher) You okay? SWEETS: Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Everything is fine. This is Fisher. TORI PAYNE: Are you a shrink, too? FISHER: Nope. Forensic anthropologist. (Tori shakes her head, not understanding) SWEETS: He works with the dead. TORI PAYNE: The dead? Really? FISHER: What can I say? I can relate to the boundary between this existence and whatever screaming cold hell comes next. TORI PAYNE: Do you wanna see my tattoos? (She lifts up her shirt) FISHER: Wow. I love that poem. (Tori and Fisher smile at each other and make their way into the tent. Sweets looks on disbelievingly.) INT. JEFFERSONIAN - ANGELA'S OFFICE (Brennan and Angela are back to watching the game being played out on Angela's monitor. The Punky Pong machine is also in her office.) ANGELA: I analyzed the game's chip. Since the programming is from the 80s, it's pretty basic but still... BRENNAN: One would certainly need to be in command of the rapid-cycling beta level as well as being exceptionally dextrous. ANGELA: Right. Which according to you, Steve Rifton was not. BRENNAN: Oh. ANGELA: The computer has played a perfect game. So, this is the second time that this machine was played to the perfect game. The first time was Steve Rifton's perfect game. (She pulls up a picture of Steve Rifton next to the machine) BRENNAN: Well, if Steve Rifton played a perfect game, he had to have done it before he developed tenosynovitis. ANGELA: Yeah, well, that makes sense. BRENNAN: Can you pull up the videotape showing this perfect game? (Angela pulls it up on the opposite screen) Could you freeze it please? ANGELA: Yeah, what do you - what do you see? BRENNAN: These are not the same machine. (She points to the two pictures) ANGELA: Uh, sweetie, these look identical. BRENNAN: No, see, here? (She points to the machine that Steve Rifton is standing beside) This banana has exposed central and lateral incisors as well as a white section of peeled epicarp. ANGELA: Right. The teeth and the peel. Who would notice that? BRENNAN: Me. I'm extraordinarily observant. ANGELA: Uh, so, this is the same machine that was in the photo. BRENNAN: But not the same one as in the videotape. See? No incisors and yellow epicarp section. ANGELA: Steve Rifton cheated. He didn't play the winning game on this machine. What other machine do you think he had access to? BRENNAN: Dougie Seeger's. The autistic boy. ACT SIX INT. JEFFERSONIAN - FORENSIC PLATFORM (Both Punky Pong machines are on the platform. Cam, Booth, and Brennan are examining them.) BOOTH: This here is Dougie Seeger's machine and this is the one that the Ref bought from our murder victim. BRENNAN: We have photographic evidence that our victim actually played a perfect game on his own machine. BOOTH: Maybe that photo there is doctored. CAM: Angela says no. (Hodgins enters) HODGINS: Who wants to know about peacock poop? Okay, all right, not the greatest opening but (he pulls up his files on the computer monitor) I was looking at this thing all wrong. I kept asking myself how do peacock feathers, graminoid seeds, and insect legs get onto the same blunt weapon. BRENNAN: That is exactly the question we need answered. HODGINS: Sometimes peacock feathers are in peacock poop because they preen themselves. The Indian Blue Peacock, to be precise. CAM: The murder weapon was dipped in Indian Blue Peacock excrement? HODGINS: Pavo cristatus. BRENNAN: Why would the murderer dip his weapon into peacock excrement? HODGINS: What if he didn't do it on purpose? Check this out. (He pulls up a map onto the screen) The only two places with Indian Blue Peacock are the United States Botanic Gardens and the Annapolis Valley Golf Course. BRENNAN: The murder weapon could have been a golf club. HODGINS: That would also explain the crickets and the fescue. CAM: Let's see which one of our suspects golfs at Annapolis Valley. HODGINS: Who deserves a little love here? Huh? Little love? (Brennan and Booth ignore him and leave) Just a - okay, if that's all, I really gotta go. Um... King of the Lab. (Hodgins leaves. Cam is left confused.) EXT. MOVIE THEATRE - NIGHT (Sweets is standing further back in the line. Hodgins approaches.) HODGINS: Why are you standing over here? What? (He spots the moving tent ahead of them) Oh. Fisher? SWEETS: Yeah. HODGINS: So, he pitched his tent when you didn't. SWEETS: By 'pitch his tent', you mean... yeah, that's what he did. Fisher said that in the short amount of time that I've been with Daisy, he pitched his tent with seven women. HODGINS: Yeah, but come on. Fisher, he only ever pitches his tent once with each woman. You, you're the kind of guy, you don't just pitch a tent, you homestead the land. SWEETS: Oh. So, he's the rock star and I'm the farmer. That's great. HODGINS: Okay, Sweets. Let's do the math here, okay? Fisher's seven women versus your one Daisy. Seven one-night stands, let's give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he's had s*x, what? 21 times, okay? Now, rough estimate, how many times have you and Daisy pitched a tent? SWEETS: Daisy and I are together approximately five nights a week, so that's 10 times a week over seven months... you add in the mornings - HODGINS: Woah. Silent math. You got a number? SWEETS: Yeah. HODGINS: Don't tell me. Is it more than 21? SWEETS: It's way more than 21. HODGINS: Quality of the experience. It's much more important than the quantity. (O.S.): Everybody get your tickets out! Single file! No pushing. Everybody's gettin' in. (The line starts to move) HODGINS: We are going in. Yes. SWEETS: Should we - uh, tell Fisher we're going in? HODGINS: Nah. Screw him. SWEETS: But, he's gonna miss the movie. HODGINS: Yeah, well, serves him right. SWEETS: Uh, if you were in my shoes, you would have gone for her, wouldn't you? HODGINS: Heck yeah, are you kidding me? Did you see those tattoos, oh! Epic. INT. SEEGER HOME (Booth, Brennan, and Keith Seeger are walking from his house to the garage. Keith Seeger is holding the warrant in his hand.) KEITH SEEGER: Why do you wanna see my golf clubs? BOOTH: Well, I mean, you're a member of Annapolis Valley, right? KEITH SEEGER: Yes, for three years. My golf clubs are in here somewhere. I don't get out there as much as I'd like. (Dougie Seeger is standing quietly in the corner of the garage) Dougie just stands there all day, waiting for his machine. I'd like to get it back as soon as possible. BOOTH: You're very cooperative. BRENNAN: (She spots the golf clubs) Booth? BOOTH: Yeah? BRENNAN: Graphite shafts. These would snap. We're looking for a broken shaft that would explain the stabbing wound. BOOTH: Any of them damaged? BRENNAN: No. None of these is the murder weapon. KEITH SEEGER: Wh - you think I killed the postman? Well, why would I do that? BRENNAN: Perhaps it's a coincidence that Mr. Seeger is a member of that golf club. Perhaps we should check out the possibilities of the botanic garden? BOOTH: Where's your three iron? KEITH SEEGER: Never needed one. BRENNAN: What? Three iron? BOOTH: Guy like you, a course like that. You would definitely need a three iron to hit that course, so, where is it? (Keith Seeger looks sadly back and forth to his son. He is caught.) INT. FBI HEADQUARTERS - INTERROGATION ROOM (Flashes back and forth between Keith Seeger's confession and Dougie Seeger getting his Punky Pong machine back and playing happily.) KEITH SEEGER: My son only ever had one thing. One thing in his whole life. Dougie can't even speak, you understand? He looks at me or my wife and there's no glimmer of recognition. But that machine. It turns on, makes that noise... and he gets this look on his face. Maybe you wouldn't notice it in a regular kid but I know what it is. It's joy. And this guy, this mailman, he watches Dougie play a perfect game and then next thing you know, he's on TV saying he played the perfect game. It's a miracle. It's too much of a coincidence for me. BOOTH: You accosted him with your own golf club, right? You scared him into telling the truth. KEITH SEEGER: He admitted it. He said he videotaped Dougie. But he refused to credit Dougie. I lost it. BRENNAN: You beat him. With your golf club and when the head broke off, you stabbed him with it. KEITH SEEGER: The only thing my boy has in this world - one thing - this man stole it from him. It wasn't right. (He cries) INT. JEFFERSONIAN - FORENSIC PLATFORM (It's nighttime. Everybody has left. The Punky Pong machine is still there and Booth and Brennan go to play a game. Or two.) BOOTH: It's not as crazy as you'd think. I'm a father so I sort of understand. BRENNAN: I can't imagine you killing someone for stealing credit from Parker for anything. BOOTH: Well, not kill someone but threaten 'em. BRENNAN: Even about something as frivolous as bragging rights to a videogame? All right, how do we choose who goes first? BOOTH: Right, okay, go ahead, you go first. BRENNAN: Why? BOOTH: Why? Because once I start, I ain't gonna stop. (Brennan laughs. Booth sits down on a chair, continuing his thought) Besides, it's not how the dad feels, it's how the son feels. BRENNAN: We're discussing the murder again? BOOTH: Someone breaks your kid's heart, your own heart rises up, get's fierce. It's just a natural response. BRENNAN: There's a flaw in your reasoning. I believe that due to my superior learning curve, I can beat you at this game - despite your superlative strength and your remarkable reflexes. (She hits the buttons on the machine a few times) How do I start the game? BOOTH: What's the flaw in my reasoning? BRENNAN: Dougie Seeger is autistic. He didn't care. His heart wasn't broken. BOOTH: So, the dad loved him twice as much. All right, you don't like the reasoning and my math. BRENNAN: I've realized recently that you use a different number system, like the Babylonians which was base 60. I don't understand your system but I can see that it works. (A silence. And then, she starts hitting the buttons on the machine again) How do I start the game? BOOTH: Bones. BRENNAN: Yes? (Booth tosses her a quarter) Oh! BOOTH: There you go. BRENNAN: A quarter! BOOTH: Knock 'em dead. BRENNAN: I will. I will knock you dead. I will prove you wrong. BOOTH: Big words! BRENNAN: Level one, baby. (The screen goes back to the start) What happened? BOOTH: My turn. BRENNAN: No, it's not your turn. What do you mean? It just stopped, so... BOOTH: That's right. No, sit right there. BRENNAN: No, I didn't lose. BOOTH: Well, you put the quarter in, the game's over BRENNAN: No, it's not - BOOTH: Maybe it's your energy - BRENNAN: It's the machine broke - BOOTH: Maybe it's your math - BRENNAN: It's not my math - BOOTH: My turn... END.

When the remains of a competitive gamer are discovered in a grease truck, Brennan and Booth are called to investigate the case. The victim, Steve Rifton, is the only active player known in the gaming community to have received a perfect score on a famous video game. Steve turned his success into a lucrative partnership with a gaming referee and charged fans to play on the very machine that gave him the perfect score. But between sour business deals and bitter competitors, the team at the Jeffersonian must work to narrow down the many suspects with motive for ending Rifton's reign as gaming king. Meanwhile, Hodgins, Sweets and Jeffersonian intern Colin Fischer take turns camping out for tickets to a movie premiere.

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ACT ONE Scene One - KACL FADE IN Frasier comes back on the air after a commercial. Roz is reading a magazine in her booth. Frasier: Hi, we're back. Roz tells me we have Chester on the line. [connects] Hello, Chester. How can I help you? Chester: [v.o.] I don't know. I've had a lot of fights with my wife lately. She feels I'm just wasting my life, standing still- Frasier: Spinning your wheels? Chester: Huh? I don't follow. Frasier: Chester, I'm afraid this problem might be just a little too complex for the few seconds we have remaining. Uh, why don't you try to call us back tomorrow, I'll make sure that you get on first thing. Chester: Gee, it's awful tough to get through. Frasier: Well, I'll tell you what, hang tight and when I get off the air I'll pick up and try to help you then. Chester: Take your time. Frasier: O.K., everybody, I've got to scoot. Bulldog's up next after the news with the Gonzo Sports Show. Today's topic: What's wrong with our Seattle Mariners? If you haven't had a chance to voice your opinion on that in the last eighteen years, you'll want to today! So long, all. He goes off the air and comes into Roz's booth. Frasier: Well, Roz, that was a pretty good show! Roz: [distracted] Mmm-hmm. Frasier: Well, what are you reading so intently? Roz: Oh, it's, uh, "Seattle" magazine, it's their "up-and-comers" issue - the hottest hundred men and women in town. Frasier: Oh, let me see. Roz: Don't you want to finish up with Chester? Frasier: Oh, you heard him, he can wait. [flips through it] Roz: If you're looking for yourself, you're not in there. Frasier: Oh. [keeps flipping] Roz: And your brother Niles isn't in there either. Frasier: Cool! [notices] Oh, my. Who is this fresh angel? Madeline Marshall, #47. Roz: Ooh, manufactures her own line of sportswear! Frasier: God, she's a stunning woman. "Single, patron of the arts, MBA at Stanford" - well, if you have to go to school on the West Coast. Oh, oh, oh, and what she looks for most in a man: "someone who knows how to... listen." Roz, I'm in love! Roz: Well, why don't you call her up and ask her out? Frasier: Oh yeah, right. Roz: Well, I'm serious, Frasier! What have you got to lose? Frasier: I couldn't just call her out of the blue! She doesn't even know who I am! Roz: You're on the radio, a lot of people know who you are. Frasier: Yes, well then why am I not in this magazine? Roz: Because those are important people. [picks up the phone] Come on, I'll gonna call her up. Frasier: Oh, no, no! Bulldog charges in with his sound-effects cart. Bulldog: Hey, doc! Frasier: Bulldog. Bulldog: Just got back from the gym! Did an hour on the Stairmaster! What do you think? [turns around and slaps his buttocks] Like a couple of little cherry tomatoes, huh? Frasier: Thank you, Bulldog, you've just put me off salads for a month. Bulldog: [sees the magazine] Hey, what have we got here? As he picks up the magazine, Roz speaks into the phone. Roz: Hello, is Madeline Marshall there? Dr. Frasier Crane. Bulldog: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute! This Madeline Marshall, you know her? Frasier: Well, no, no, I found her attractive, and Roz insisted on calling her. Bulldog: Wow, small wonder: smart, sophisticated, and I like a woman who doesn't wear underwear. Frasier: She's wearing a business suit. Bulldog: That was a general comment. Roz: Hi, Miss Marshall? Could you please hold for Dr. Crane? Thank you. She pushes Hold and steps back. She and Bulldog urge Frasier to pick up the phone. Frasier: Oh, all right. "Once more unto the breach." [picks up and punches line one] Hello, this is Dr. Frasier Crane. I know we've never met, but you know, from everything I know about you, you just seem like the most fascinating person. I was just wondering if - well, why don't I just come out and say it? Would you be so good as to have dinner with me tonight? Oh well, well, that's very gracious of you to accept, Chester, but I didn't mean you. [to Roz] Roz, you could have told me Madeline was on line two! Roz: You could have asked. Frasier switches lines and tries again. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Two - Apartment Daphne is writing a letter. Martin is opening a box of authentic Cuban cigars. Daphne: Mr. Crane, is the proper term "serial killer" or "serial murderer?" Martin: Serial killer, why? Daphne: Oh, just letting my old mum know what's going on in Seattle. She worries when she doesn't hear from me. Niles comes out of the kitchen with a glass of wine. Martin: Hey Niles, how about a nice Havana to go with that wine? Niles: Thank you! [then] Aren't Cuban cigars illegal? Martin: Yeah, I got a friend in Customs over at Sea-Tac. He confiscated them from some high school teacher who claimed he was bringing them into the country for a civics lesson! I mean, when are people going to learn? Rules are only rules when they apply to everyone! He puts one in his mouth and Niles starts to light him up. [N.B. Under the 1996 Helms-Burton Act, the fine for smuggling a single Cuban cigar into the United States is $35,000.] Daphne: Oh, I love to see a man with a cigar. [Niles turns toward her, leaving Martin hanging] It reminds me of my grandfather. Morning to night, he used to sit with a great big stogie dangling from his lips. Oh, the hours we kids used to spend sitting on his lap, playing with the yellow whiskers beneath his nose. Then he'd take out his teeth with the cigar still in them and chase us around the room! We'd all laugh and laugh... then suddenly Grampa's mood would change and we'd all have to run for our lives. You can't buy memories like that. Frasier comes out wearing a smart suit, but carrying his shoes. Frasier: Damn it! Eddie, I know you took the socks that go with this suit. Now where are they? Eddie pulls a pair of brown socks from under the couch. Frasier: Brown socks with a blue suit? I think not, try again. [Eddie pulls a pair of black ones from under the cushions] Thank you. Niles: And where are you off to? Daphne: Dr. Crane has a blind date tonight. Niles: Really, with who? Frasier: Madeline Marshall. She has her own sportswear concern, and according to "Seattle" magazine, she is the forty-seventh hottest person in Seattle. Niles: That article was a sham. Martin: Not in it, huh? Niles: Can you believe it? Frasier: Yes, well, I'm off! You know, I have a good feeling about tonight. I have a song in my heart, a little dance in my step, and dog saliva around my ankles! [SCENE_BREAK] BUSMAN'S HOLIDAY Scene Three - Degas A small, quaint French gourmet restaurant. Frasier and Madeline Marshall - an attractive redhead in her thirties - are seated. A young busboy brings them a basket of bread. Frasier: Thank you. Madeline: This is wonderful! I've never even heard of this place. Frasier: Oh well, my goodness, you're in for a treat. Degas is the pinnacle of French country dining. It's just Etienne Degas, his wife and daughter, and they'll treat us as if we were family. Well, you know, I couldn't help being flattered when you told me that you knew my show. Can I count you among my devoted listeners? Madeline: Well, actually my secretary listens to it - but I try to catch as much as I can when I cross back and forth through her office. Etienne Degas enters. Etienne: Bonsoir, monsieur, madame, and welcome to Degas. Our special tonight is our fabulous crispy duck! Frasier: Oh, yummy. And to start off we'll have a bottle of the Chateau Neuf du Pape '89. Madeline: Ah, the only one in that decade to outdo the '88. That's the one to get! Etienne: Ah, excellent choice! As he leaves, he shakes a "Way to Go!" fist at Frasier, regarding Madeline. Frasier: You know wine. Madeline: Well, I try to make it a point to acquaint myself with the finer things in life. Frasier: Oh well, what would you like to know about me? [laughs] Madeline: [laughs, then] Well, for starters, why is a man as charming as you still out there? Frasier: Well, actually, I... I'm recently divorced. Madeline: Oh, thank goodness. For a second there I thought you were one of those strange single men still living with his parents! [laughs] Frasier: Yeah, yeah, your heart really has to go out to those sad sacks. Madeline: I'm divorced also. Frasier: Oh well, we have so much in common. Madeline: I caught him cheating with my sister. Frasier: Fabulous! [off her look] The same thing happened to me. Madeline: Boy, my sister gets around! Frasier: It's good to see that you've still kept your sense of humor. Madeline: Yeah, but it isn't easy to get over something like that, is it? Suddenly, this is something beyond a run-of-the-mill date. Frasier: No... no, it's not. [sighs] Those nights when you ask yourself how could this have happened? Was I insensitive to her needs? Madeline: Was I too devoted to my work? Frasier: Was I simply not good enough in bed? [off her look] You'll reach for anything! The busboy comes and fills their water glasses. From the kitchen, the voices of the Degas family suddenly explode. Etienne: [o.s.] Qu'est-ce que tu me racontes, alors?! Yvette: [o.s.] No, Papa! Etienne: What are you telling me, you are pregnant?! Mrs. Degas: [o.s.] Keep your voice down! Yvette: [crying] I told you, Mama! I told you he would be like this! Etienne: Who is the father?! I want to know! The busboy looks in panic towards the kitchen and he spills water as he is filling Frasier's glass, until Frasier stops him. Etienne: Who is the father?! Yvette: I won't tell you! Etienne: Ha, ha, ha! When I find this man, I will kill him! And snap his neck like a stale baguette! The busboy flees the room as Etienne, all smiles, comes out with a bottle of wine. Etienne: Monsieur, Madame, your wine. Frasier: Yes, that's the one. Etienne: Bon, bon, bon, I will just go and open it. Ah, this will be a night to remember, non? Frasier: Oh, yes! Etienne goes back to the kitchen. The busboy comes back in. Etienne: [o.s.] Are you going to tell me?! Yvette: [o.s.] No, no! Frasier: You know, there's a clam house up the road that has a late seating... Madeline: Oh no, I think we're getting the most bang for our entertainment buck right here. From the kitchen: Mrs. Degas: [o.s.] Oh, thirty-five years of marriage, what did I ever see in you?! Etienne: Ah, you don't think I am sick of you? You and your cuttlefish bisque! I spit in your cuttlefish bisque! The busboy huddles into a corner as Etienne, smiling again, comes out with two soup bowls and sets them before Madeline and Frasier. Etienne: Voila, monsieur, madame - it's a delicacy from our little village in France: cuttlefish bisque. He exits to the kitchen. Madeline: What are the odds? I had cuttlefish for lunch. From the kitchen: Etienne: [o.s.] Ah, no, no, no, you don't have to! You can leave my house, Yvette! No, no, no, go, go to wherever he is! Mrs. Degas leads a tearful Yvette out of the kitchen. By now, everyone's attention is on the unfolding drama. Mrs. Degas: Pardon, monsieur, are you not the one who gives advice on the radio? Frasier: You listen to my show? Mrs. Degas: No, but my sous-chef does, and I hear you when I walk back and forth through the kitchen. Monsieur, you must help me. Etienne! Etienne enters. Frasier: No, no, listen, if-if everyone comes out here, how will you know when our duck is crispy? Mrs. Degas: Etienne, this is the doctor from the radio, eh? Etienne: Ah, oui, oui, oui! Mrs. Degas: Please, monsieur, you must talk to my husband. My daughter is with child, and he does not understand that these things happen! Etienne: Don't talk to me, talk to this tramp! [to Madeline] Do you believe my daughter, madame? Madeline: You should meet my sister. Mrs. Degas: As if I wasn't pregnant when we got married, eh? Etienne: Oh, I wish I had been killed in the war! Mrs. Degas: Oh, it's hard to get killed when you run the other way! They start arguing hotly. Frasier: [taking charge] All right, silence! Silence! Both of you just try to calm down. I'll see what I can do. Monsieur Degas, you are angry now. That is a temporary emotion. You are devastated because you think the bond between a father and a daughter has been broken. She is no longer your little girl. But that's not possible. That bond cannot be broken - not even by that young man cowering there in the corner who is so obviously the father. The busboy cringes as the whole restaurant reacts. Frasier: Come out. [the busboy shakes his head] Come out, it's all right. [he still won't come] We need more water! That persuades him to come over. Etienne: You? You can't even get water in a glass! [motions to Yvette] How did you do this?! Despite the embarrassing scrutiny, Yvette cannot help but gaze adoringly at her lover. Frasier: Monsieur Degas, please - hold your daughter in your arms and tell her how you really feel. Etienne: [takes her hands] Yvette... ah, Yvette, Yvette, ma petite, I love you... They hug and kiss. All the customers applaud, including Madeline. Etienne and Yvette go back to the kitchen. Mrs. Degas hugs Frasier. Mrs. Degas: Thank you, monsieur, thank you! You are a god! [to Madeline] And you, mademoiselle, are very lucky. Madeline: I'm starting to realize that. Frasier: [modestly] Just another evening out... with Dr. Frasier Crane. END OF ACT ONE [SCENE_BREAK] ACT TWO LET'S GET AWAY FROM IT ALL Scene Four - KACL Roz is checking the carts on the wall. Frasier, ebullient, comes in. Frasier: Hi, Roz! Roz: Hey, Frasier. Frasier: Again, thank you. Roz: It's O.K., Frasier, you've thanked me every day for the last two weeks. Frasier: Yes, yes, but if it hadn't been for you, I never would have met... [sighs] Madeline. It's just - you know, we went out again last night, and it's just perfect between us! We talk, we can laugh at the same- Roz: Just stop. Did it ever occur to you that since I'm in one of the worst dating droughts of my entire adult life, that to hear you prattling on like a giggling schoolgirl about your storybook romance might be the teensiest bit irritating? Frasier: No, it hadn't, and you're right, Roz. I'm sorry, sometimes I can be so insensitive. But, you know, Madeline's helping me with that, she is so good, she is so good, in, like, every way! Roz screams "God!" and batters her clipboard against her forehead. Frasier: All right, I'm sorry. It's just that I haven't felt this way since, since my divorce. Everything seems so right. You know, I haven't said this out loud, but here goes: it's possible that she could be the woman I spend the rest of my life with. Roz: Go. Go do that. Get married, have a couple of kids, move out to the country, buy a puppy, live happily ever after! Just don't tell me about it, I need a boyfriend! Frasier: Dear Roz. Dear, silly Roz. Dear, silly, horny Roz. Madeline comes into Frasier's booth at the other end. Frasier: Oh, oh, look! It's- Roz: That must be Madeline! Frasier: Yes! Frasier runs in to greet her, and hurriedly introduces her to Roz. Frasier: Oh, God, what a surprise to see you. Madeline: Well, I hope you don't mind me stopping by, but I have a meeting with a buyer across the street in ten minutes, and there's something that I wanted to talk to you about. Frasier: Oh well, here, please, have a seat. Madeline: [sits in his chair] Well, you know when we first started going out, we both agreed we didn't want to rush into the physical part, that we'd save ourselves for the right moment. Frasier: [looking around in surprise] It's now? Madeline: No, actually, uh, I was wondering what you thought about us going away for the weekend - just the two of us. Frasier: Well, uh... I'd miss my favorite shows, but sure. Madeline: I was thinking, two-three days... They kiss. The kiss gets deeper. They throw their arms around each other, with Roz watching from the other side. Frasier: I was thinking more like a week. Madeline: O.K., now for the really big question: When? Frasier: Well, the minute we get there. Madeline: No, actually, I meant when do we go? Frasier: Oh, oh, let's see. They both take out their appointment books. Madeline: Now, let's see, I am good for the week of the sixteenth. Frasier: The, uh, sixteenth - oh, no, sweeps week. How about the twenty-third? Madeline: Uh, no - trade show. Uh, thirtieth? Frasier: No. Madeline: That puts us into the next month. No, no - uh, the twentieth? Frasier: No. Madeline: Well, this was a great idea, but we're both obviously too busy. We'll do it another time. I got to run. Frasier: O.K. They kiss each other goodbye. The kiss deepens again, and she drops her briefcase to the floor and they throw their arms around each other. Frasier: Let's go tomorrow. Madeline: You're on. Frasier: I know the perfect place - Bora Bora! Madeline: Hubba Hubba! Frasier: I'll make the arrangements. Madeline: I'll meet you at the airport. Frasier: O.K. Madeline: O.K. Bye. Frasier: Bye. [she heads out the producers' booth door] Oh, oh, Madeline- [points her the other way] Madeline: Bye. She leaves. Frasier turns and sees Roz on the phone. Roz: Hello, you don't know me, but I saw your picture in "Seattle" magazine... [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Five - Apartment That night, Niles and Martin are both relaxing with cigars. Martin leans against the piano, singing as Niles plays "I Don't Want To Walk Without You," finishing with a flourish. Martin: Ah, they don't write songs like that anymore. Niles: This is really what "men" do, isn't it, Dad? Martin: Yeah. This, and some things outdoors, but we'll just stick to this for now. Niles: You know, these last few nights have been very pleasant, Dad. You and me, sitting together, appreciating these fine cigars. Who would have thought a simple Cuban peasant somewhere in the Sierra Maestra would bring a father and son closer together? Martin: Yeah. Must make that dime he gets for a whole day's work a lot more satisfying. Daphne comes out of the kitchen with a cigar of her own. Daphne: I'm going to miss these little sweethearts. She puckers her mouth and blows two perfect smoke rings. Martin: Ooh, now there's a talent. Niles: [mesmerized] I'll say. Just how do you do that? Daphne: Oh, it's really very simple. Let me show you, it's all in the tongue. [pulls him close and purses his lips with her fingers] That's right, just purse your lips and pucker up like a little goldfish. Just like that, you got it. Frasier comes in and sees them - nearly mouth-to-mouth, sticking their tongues toward each other's. Frasier: Niles, what are you doing? Niles: I'm learning how to blow smoke. Frasier: Where? Dad, I thought I asked you to smoke those things out on the balcony. Martin: It's cold out there. Frasier: Fine, all right. Maybe an errant ash will flick off and ignite your easy chair. Martin: You're in a fine mood. What's the matter with you? Frasier: Madeline and I are going to Bora Bora tomorrow. Martin: [sitting] Why do bad things happen to good people? Niles: When did this come about? Frasier: Just about an hour ago, when Madeline came down to the station. We got caught up in a moment of passion, before I know it I'm going halfway around the world with a woman I hardly even know! It just isn't like me, I guess I'm getting caught up in the romance. Daphne: Well, I'm not sure about the psychological ramifications of this, but it seems like a good thing to me. Frasier: Yes, well, to the untrained eye, yes, but what if we hate each other? End up being stuck together for a week! Daphne: Oh, that won't happen. If anything, you'll come back even more in love than ever. Frasier: Even worse! If it goes perfectly, then it means we'll start talking about a serious commitment, then living together and then marriage, and... Niles: If you ask me, Frasier, your trepidation is well-founded. It is possible to move a relationship along too fast, and ultimately marry too hastily. You could find, a few years down the line, that the person isn't really right for you, [more emphatic] and then what happens if you meet the right person, someone who really excites you and makes you feel alive, but you can't act upon it because you're trapped in a stale, albeit comfortable Maris! [everyone stares at him] ...marriage. I have to go now. He grabs his coat and makes a hasty exit. Martin: Hey, let me ask you one question, Frasier: did you feel a spark when you met this woman? Frasier: Like fireworks. Martin: Well, then go for it! You know, these things don't happen that often. It's like when I met your mother, it was at a crime scene. Hester was a psychiatrist, so every now and again the department would have her run up a profile on a suspect. I remember the first time I met her - it was over the chalk outline of a murder victim. She drew a little smile on the head of the outline, and I drew a pair of eyes, and before you knew it we were laughing like a couple of kids. Frasier: Dad, you're a ghoul. Martin: I was joking. We couldn't draw on the outline, they hadn't moved the body yet. Frasier: Yes, well, your corpse-strewn romance notwithstanding, I still feel just a little bit skittish about this whole thing. Daphne: Well, Dr. Crane, if you'd like a feminine point of view - just shut your bloody cake hole and go! I mean, look what happened when you took a chance and called this woman. You've been whistling a happy tune ever since. Frasier: Well, that is true. Martin: Yeah! So make another bold move! Do something to make yourself happy. Daphne: Yeah, go on! Martin: Hey, you won't regret it! Frasier: Oh, all right, I'll do it! Martin: Attaboy! That's great, that's terrific! Frasier: O.K., but don't think I don't know that you're mostly excited just to get me out of the house for a week! Martin: It will be sweet, won't it? Martin and Daphne sit back, savoring their cigars. [SCENE_BREAK] PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN GRASS HOUSES Scene Six - Bora Bora Frasier and Madeline enter their beachside bungalow. In the background are the sounds of waves and tropical birds. Frasier: [tipping the bellboy] Thank you. Madeline: This is gorgeous, I'm so glad you suggested it. Frasier: It's even more beautiful than I remember. You know what the natives say, they say that Bora Bora is the end of the world and the doorway to heaven. Madeline seductively lies down on the bed. Madeline: This could be the doorway to heaven for us. Frasier: [turns around] I'm certainly glad that you're the one that said that first. You know, I didn't want this to seem like our trip was just about s*x, but... who are we kidding? He jumps down beside her. They embrace, kissing... and stop. Madeline: I'm a little hot in these clothes, aren't you? Frasier: I'm sweating like the pig that knows he's dinner! Madeline: I'll be right back. Frasier: Oink! Madeline goes to the bathroom. Frasier gets up, opens the door and goes out onto the balcony. A woman in the adjacent bungalow is sunning herself in a deck chair with her back to Frasier. Frasier breathes in the sea air. Everything is just perfect. Behind him, Madeline crosses the room wearing only a towel. Madeline: Frasier... Frasier turns around. The towel drops to the floor. Frasier: Oh, my God... Lilith: Frasier? The woman turns around. It's Lilith! Frasier: OH, MY GOD! And if that isn't the perfect place to say TO BE CONTINUED... I can't imagine one better. [SCENE_BREAK] KACL: Roz flips through "Seattle" magazine, finds a likely possibility, and then flips through the phone book. Finding the number, she calls, but it doesn't pan out. Finally, she opens the door and throws the magazine out into the hallway.

After Frasier admires a woman featured in a magazine article on eligible singles in Seattle, Roz brings them together. They start seeing each other, and travel to Bora Bora for a romantic weekend, only to encounter Frasier's ex-wife Lilith staying at the same resort.

fd_The_O.C._04x13

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Poolhouse Taylor: Really? Nothing? Ryan: It may not sound like a good idea. It's not a good idea. Taylor: We're dating. We just got back together, in fact, and you're proposing that for Valentine's Day we do nothing. Ryan: No, no. We don't have to spend the night apart. We could just hang out. Uh, see a movie. Taylor: Oh, God, stop. My head is spinning from all of the romance. Ryan: Taylor,this holiday, us, it's a recipe for disaster. Taylor: Why? 'Cause I'm needy? Ryan: 'Cause I've on occasion been known to stalk you? Taylor: There's me, too. Ryan: I'm distant and unemotional. Taylor: And preoccupied. Could we add that to the list? 'Cause it just seems like lately your mind is someplace else. Ryan: Taylor. There's no hidden meaning here. I just feel if we don't put too much pressure on this holiday, we might actually get through it. Taylor: So I shouldn't worry? Ryan: No. Taylor: Not even when I find a suspicious address by your bed? I looked at it when you were in the bathroom. Sorry. Ryan: It's nothing. It's an address.Not the address of some other girl if that's what you're thinking. Look, um, I got to get to work, but I promise you there's nothing to worry about, okay? Taylor: Okay. All right. So we're good? Ryan: Yeah, we're good. Taylor: All right. Motel Taylor: Oh. Frank: Taylor, right? Taylor: So it's you. Generic Motel Taylor: I-I don't get it. Ryan hasn't been to see you at all? Frank: Well, I left a message with him when I,when I switched hotels. I told him I was here in case he wanted to see me, but so far,no luck. Taylor, don't mind me asking... what are you doing here? Taylor: Well, I found this address by Ryan's bed and he's been kind of distant lately, so I thought it may be a clue. So I came here and then I... I have emotional problems, but I'm getting over it. Frank: Well, I'm glad Ryan at least kept my address, since, you know, he's not using it. Taylor: Well, clearly he wants to reach out. Maybe he's just afraid or he doesn't really know how to do it. Frank: Because, you know, I'd love to talk to him, you know? Taylor: Apologize again for that cancer stunt. Frank: But I'm scared if I make the first move... Taylor: He's going to pull away. Yes, you're absolutely right. I've had a lot of experience with that. Wait a sec. Idea coming in. And here it is, okay. What if I were to get involved? I could help you guys smooth things over, broker the peace talks... Frank: You-you'd be willing to do that, get in the line of fire? Taylor: It's just that there's something kind of, kind of sad about Ryan. Maybe if he was to mend his relationship with you, he could be a little happier. Frank: Well, I am all for it. Do you have a plan in mind? Taylor: Always. At Cohen's - In the kitchen Sandy: Wow, is this a second breakfast or an early lunch? Kirsten: It's either one. I was craving French toast, do you want some? Sandy: No, thanks. I'm having flashbacks to when you were pregnant with Seth. Kirsten: I know, and all I did was eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I made some of my finest sandwiches in that year. Sandy: Mm-hmm. I haven't had peanut butter and jelly since. I can't believe we're doing this again. All the times we tried to have another one after Seth. Kirsten: Well, we did have a second one, it just came later in life. Sandy: Ah, the more the merrier. Kirsten: Oh, I just lost my appetite. Sandy: I thought you were starving. Kirsten: Cravings, up and down like a roller coaster. I'm going to get dressed. At Roberts' Julie: Gordon, it's not Valentine's Day yet. Gordon: I don't care, you're my wife, and I'll give you roses anytime I dang well please. Julie: Right. Well, these are certainly beautiful, but um, I think I need to remind you... Gordon: Oh, I know. You haven't given me the green light on that marriage proposal. But I didn't make $900 million by being a pessimist. Did I mention that there will be no pre-nup? Julie: Well... That is so generous. But before we get on with the rest of our lives... Gordon: Right, Valentine's Day, and I made reservations at the yacht club as per your request. And I did take the liberty of booking us, that's you and me, a suite at the Four Seasons. I mean, here we are,practically man and wife and we still haven't sealed the deal. Julie: I guess I'm just old-fashioned that way. Gordon: Well, if I do say so myself, you're in for quite a treat. Julie: Can we just not talk about it? Gordon: Well, I can sum it up in one word. Julie: Don't. Gordon: Bang. Julie: Yeah. Gordon: Oh, sorry, gorgeous. I'm just a sucker for that pun. But seriously now. I can't wait to take you down to Chinatown. Julie: Right. Me, too. Kaitlin, baby, hi. Kaitlin: Hi. What's up, nerd? Gordon: Wow, who you calling nerd, bird legs? Kaitlin: You, nerd. Gordon: Okay, squirt, you up for some ping-pong? You ready to get your ass kicked? Kaitlin: In your dreams. Julie: You two play ping-pong? Gordon: Oh, yeah. We got a table at the office and Peanut is getting pretty good. Kaitlin: You think that's lame? Julie: No, it's, it's... It's like totally normal. Kaitlin: Mom, it's just ping-pong. There's no reason to get emotional about it. Can I drive the Ferrari? Gordon: No. Oh, what the hell? Get her purring, I'll be there in a second. Julie: You're really good with her, you know that? Gordon: Well, she's like her mom. She's a special gal and a real kick in the pants. Bye, sweetie. At the shopping center Summer: If the sea otters disappear completely, then the entire aquatic ecosystem will be disrupted. Seth: I know. We need the sea otters to eat the sea urchins, otherwise there'd be a sea urchin population explosion, causing some catastrophe involving the kelp forests. Summer: I guess you're pretty sick of me talking about otters. Seth: Not at all. If I have to share you, I'm glad it can be with otters. Summer: Well, did you know that my Web site got over 8,000 hits yesterday? And I'm going to have a video conference with someone from Greenpeace maybe next week. Seth: Wow, I hope you can squeeze me in for Valentine's Day. Summer: Valentine's Day? Seth: Yeah, it's in two days. You forgot, didn't you? Summer: No, of course not. Here's a psychic, come on. Seth: Do we have to? Summer: Yes. Psychic: Rhode Island. Seth: Not bad. You'll go there next year to study art. You'll do well. Summer: Huh. You're really good, psychic lady. Do me. Psychic: Strong vibration from you, Miss. Listen, you must beware of falling objects. Summer: Falling objects? Psychic: And you're going to appear in the news with Justin Timberlake. Summer: Oh, good, okay, thank you for your time. Psychic: Wait. This is important. I see the great love of your life. Summer: Me, too. Psychic: The name is coming to me. I see it. Seth: Let me give you a little help. Seth. Psychic: No. Seth: Seth. Psychic: No. It's George. Seth: George? Summer: George? Psychic: There's a lot of heat surrounding this name. Seth: You're leaving me for a guy named George? Summer: No. Psychic: She certainly is. Your destiny is with this George. Summer: Okay, um, Seth why don't you go get me some ice cream? Seth: Okay. Summer: All right, listen, psychic lady. My boyfriend, his name is Seth and if anyone's my destiny, it's him, so will you please stop it with all this George stuff? Brad: Sorry, Summer. Eric: He did it. Brad: No, you did it. Eric: No, I didn't, you did. Brad: You did. Seth: What was that? Summer: Destiny? Yatch club Ryan: So this has nothing to do with Valentine's Day? Taylor: No, why would you think that? Ryan: Hmm, I don't know, you, me, romantic dinner, you have some sort of surprise. Frank: Hi, Ryan. Ryan: Hey. Can I talk to you for a minute? Would you excuse us? Frank: No problem. Ryan: Thanks. Taylor: At least it wasn't a romantic surprise. Ryan: The note by my bed. Taylor: Yeah, I found it, I went there and I found your dad. And I don't know, I thought maybe you were trying to reconnect with him. Ryan: Taylor, it's my business. Taylor: I know, I'm a meddler. But don't worry, once I lick my stalking addiction,that's next on the list. But admit it, you can't tell me you haven't been thinking about him, right? Ryan, come on, it's just dinner. Ryan: Yeah, what are we going to talk about? I've never met an awkward silence that I couldn't fill. Taylor: Consider it your Valentine's gift to me. Oh, not that we're celebrating. Ryan: Yeah, I knew I was going to pay for that. Taylor: Ryan, he's your dad. Ryan: Yeah, yeah, one dinner. Taylor: Okay. Ryan: Join us. Frank: She gets her way, doesn't she? Ryan: The woman's a bulldozer. At Cohen's Kirsten: So famous couples through time? Summer: Yeah, you know, Romeo and Juliet, Fred and Wilma, Sandy and Kirsten Cohen. Do you think that's a good idea for a collage? Kirsten: Seth's going to love it. And I'm very flattered that Sandy and I made the cut. Oh. Whoa. I have not looked at these for a long time. Summer: Gosh, check out that permage. Kirsten: Top Gun had just come out. I wasn't thinking clearly. Summer: I guess not. Is that you and Jimmy Cooper? Holy guac. Kirsten: Yeah, that's us at a sweatshirt party. And here we are at the prom. Summer: Oh, Seth and I have the same picture. Did you ever think that Jimmy was the one? Kirsten: Well, we had planned our lives together. He was going to work for my father and I was going to throw fabulous dinner parties. We even had names for our kids. Summer: Then you broke up. Kirsten: We grew up. I loved Jimmy a lot when I was your age. But I changed. So will you. Summer: When you met Sandy how did you know that he was the one? Kirsten: I'd never imagined myself with someone like Sandy. But it just felt right. Summer... If you're meant to be with Seth, it'll happen. You just have to be patient. Summer: I'm not very good at that. Kirsten: No one is. Yatch club Frank: So, nothing? Really? Taylor: No. Frank, Ryan thinks it would be better for our relationship if we didn't celebrate Valentine's Day at all. It's counterintuitive, I know. Frank: How's that plan working out for you? Ryan: Not great. Taylor: So Frank, how about you? Speaking of romance... you're single, you're ruggedly handsome. Did you start up any romances with ladies in Newport? Frank: Well, no. You know, not really. Taylor: Oh, my God, Frank, you're in love. Frank: Love? I am not. Taylor: Yes, you are. It's all over your face. Your lips are quivering, your cheeks are rosy. Ryan: Yeah, your cheeks are kind of red. Gordon: Well, what the hell? Frank Atwood, how are you, bud? Frank: I'm good, how are you, Bullit? Gordon: Uh, confused, that's how. I thought when you quit the Bullit business you were going to high tail it up to Reno. Frank: Yeah, well, I just stayed a little longer. I wanted to spend some time with my son. Gordon: This is your son? Ryan: Yeah. Gordon: Well, well, that's great. Oh... here comes the little lady. Every ten seconds she's in the john painting her face, not that I'm complaining. A number that hot, I don't ask questions. Julie: Hey, Taylor, Ryan. Ryan: Hi. Julie: Frank. Frank: Julie. Julie: I thought you were leaving town. Frank: I was... am. I'll be gone soon enough. Gordon: Oh, Frank is third-wheeling on a date with his son. Julie: Well, we should get to our table. I am starving. Frank: Yeah, and this one can eat. And if you ask me, it goes to all the right places. Julie: Gordon, please. Well, enjoy your dinner. Good-bye, Frank. Gordon: Uh, later. Frank: So should we get that check? Taylor: Oh, my God, Frank. Ryan: Yeah. Frank: What? Taylor: Are you in love with Julie Cooper? Ryan's workplace Taylor: Your dad and Julie Cooper. It's just so... Ryan: Incestuous, inappropriate. Taylor: Well, look at you being all hyper articulate. No, I was going to say it's romantic. Ryan: How is it romantic? It's over, she's with somebody else. Taylor: Who she doesn't really love. Ryan: Well, maybe she shouldn't marry Bullit-- doesn't mean she should be with my dad. Taylor: What if they're meant for each other? If we could at least help them get together, then they could have a chance. Ryan: Taylor, I remember what he was like, how he treated my mom and us. Taylor: Ryan. You have customers. Hola, Luis. Luis: Hey, Taylor. Ryan: I'll be right there. I know Julie isn't perfect, but I also know my dad. She deserves better. Taylor: Exactly. At Cohen's FLASH-BACK Taryn: Say, "Go Trojans." Jimmy: Go Trojans! Taryn: Oh, so cute you guys are going to college together. Kirsten: Oh, Taryn, we wish you were coming, too. Taryn: Aw, well, you know, my dad can't just make a phone call and get me into USC. Oh, well, c'est la vie. Jimmy: Don't listen to her. Kirsten: Sometimes I feel like I'm going to be listening to her snide comments for the rest of my life. Jimmy: Next year at this time, we're going to have a whole new life. Kirsten: Without my dad. Jimmy: Without Taryn, just us... always. FLASH-BACK'S END Sandy: Hey, baby. Reservation for tomorrow night at 7:00, is that okay? Kirsten: Great. Sandy: What are you looking at? Kirsten: Oh, just baby pictures of Seth. I was feeling very nostalgic. Sandy: Oh, who could blame you? He was a cute kid. Kirsten: I should get ready, I have a work lunch. At the shopping center Ryan: Dude, it's a psychic. Seth: I know. And Summer says she's not worried, but I can tell she is, which is why I dug into the archives, and came up with evidence that we are, in fact, destined to be together. Ryan: It's a piece of loose-leaf, crumpled. Seth: I dug it out of a trash can nine years ago. Ryan: Okay, explain that. Seth: This, my friend, marks the first moment that I fell in love with Summer Roberts. It was the spring... 1998. Ryan: Is this a long flashback? Because my break is almost over. Seth: Bear with me. It was the spring, 1998. FLASH-BACK Seth: Hey, Luke... Good news. Only 11 months and six days until The Matrix comes out. Luke: Eat it, nerd brain. Teacher: We're going to start today with more readings of your original poems. Who are we up to? Summer Roberts. Summer. Summer: "I wish I was a mermaid and was friends with all the fish A shiny tail and seashells that would be my wish." FLASH-BACK'S END Seth: And that is when I knew Summer Roberts was the one. Dude, the flashback did not take that long. At Roberts' Taylor: Hi, Julie. Or should I say Mrs. Bullit? Julie: Julie's fine. I'm making smoothies. You want one? Taylor: Yeah, sure. So I haven't really talked to you since you got engaged. Congrats all over the place. Julie: Well, thank you, but I'm not exactly engaged. I'm just mulling over Bullit's proposal for a while. Taylor: What's there to mull? I mean, you're totally in love with him, right? You probably can't stop daydreaming about yourfuture together. And just think, for the rest of your life, you get to be in a bed with Bullit. Julie: Suddenly not in the mood. Taylor: Night after night, you and Bullit making love into the wee hours. You, exploring his body as it gets older, and older. The skin slackening, you still having to perform your wifely duties. Julie: Taylor, stop. Taylor: Admit it, Julie, you've got it bad for Frank Atwood. Julie: What? Taylor: I saw your face last night. You, Julie Cooper, have a case of the Franks. Julie: Okay, I do... I did, or one time or another may have had a case of the Franks, but for reasons that are both personal and complex, I'm staying with Bullit. Taylor: Julie, you're different now. You are no longer the woman who can marry for money. You need more. Julie: Taylor, I have a child. I have no job. I don't even own this house. Besides, I don't think Ryan would approve. God knows I've put that kid through enough. Taylor: Julie, Ryan's only concern is for you. He doesn't think his dad's good enough for you. Julie: Ryan Atwood is worried about me? Taylor: Yeah. Julie: How about that. At Roberts' - Summer's bedroom Seth: Hey, what are you watching? Summer: It's bad. It's really bad. Look. Coming up next, could this young woman be the one to save Newport sea otters? Seth: Summer, you're a hero. Summer: And guess who's bringing sexy back to Newport? That's right, Justin Timberlake is coming to the Bait Shop. Just how does such a small venue get such big names? Everything the psychic said is coming true. You know, any second I'm just going to get whisked away by some dude named George. Seth: Relax. Summer: Now I know that psychic has a lot of credibility. She works at a kiosk, and she doesn't appear to charge for her services, but I think I am a better judge of whether you and I are destined to be together, than her. And I brought proof. Seth: Happy early Valentine's Day, Summer. Summer: The mermaid poem. Seth: That's how I knew, even in fifth grade, that you were the one. That's pretty awesome, huh? Summer: Oh, my God. Seth: I know. Summer: I didn't write this. Seth: What? Summer: I remember that day. FLASH-BACK Summer: Okay, Holly, watch this. Holly: Oh, my God, Summer, you are Scary Spice. Ew, Taylor Dorkson alert. Ew. Taylor: Hey, Summer, are you finished with your poem? Summer: What poem? Taylor: The original poem that we're reading out loud. We're going in alphabetical order, and we're on "R." I already finished mine, even though I'm a "T." I may spend my night doing a polish. Teacher: Okay. We're going to start today with more readings of your original poems. Who are we up to? Summer Roberts. Summer. Summer: Give me your poem. Taylor: Summer, have you no ethics whatsoever? Summer: Okay, you can come to my birthday party. Taylor: Really Okay, here. Teacher: Summer, we're waiting. Summer: I wish I was a mermaid... Teacher: Speak up, Miss Roberts. Summer: I wish I was a mermaid and was friends with all the fish. A shiny tail and seashells, that would be my wish. Teacher: Lovely. FLASH-BACK'S END Seth: But this mermaid poem is... it's our roots, it's our mythology. Summer: What if our mythology is a sham? Something that we invented What if we are each other's Jimmy Cooper? Seth: What? Summer: You know, the one before the one. The one that you think is right before you meet your Sandy Cohen? Seth: Wait, are we saying that because Taylor wrote the poem, she's my Sandy Cohen? Because as delicious a twist as that would be, it's not going to happen. Summer: No. What I'm saying is what if we're not destined to be together? That is your cue, Seth, to say that I am wrong. I'm wrong, right? Cue to say I'm wrong, right? Seth: I don't know anymore. At Ryan's workplace Ryan: Julie, we're about to close up. Julie: I just wanted to talk to you. Look, I... I know you told Taylor that you were worried about me being involved with your father. Ryan: Nah, that's okay, it's over, so no need to talk about it. Julie: Right. It is over between us. Ryan: Good, I'm glad. Julie: But Ryan, I just wanted you to know that... I've been with my fair share of bad guys, and for the record, your dad isn't one of them. At Roberts' Taylor: Hey. Ryan: Hi. So what's the plan? Taylor: The Frank and Julie plan? Ryan: Yep. Taylor: Yay, you're on board! Ryan: I talked to Julie. Taylor: So did I. Lady has a case of the Franks. But lucky for us it's Valentine's Day tomorrow. Ryan: So she'll be going out with Bullit, right? Taylor: We'll just get rid of Bullit and then we will get Frank and Julie together for the most romantic night ever. So you come over after work, and in the meantime, I'll start making lists. All right, I'll see you later. Ryan: Toodles. Kaitlin: 'Sup? Taylor: Kaitlin, were you... eavesdropping? Kaitlin: Look, my mom loves the Bullit, okay? He's rich and he's funny and it's a total slam dunk. Taylor: Okay, sweetie, it's a little more complicated than that. Kaitlin: Not to me. Listen, Townsend, I'm playing for Team Bullit, okay? And my team, we always win. Taylor: Well, Ryan and I are playing for Team Frank, and our team always wins. Kaitlin: That's funny, because you're going down. Taylor: Are you threatening us? Kaitlin: Totally. It's war, bitch. [SCENE_BREAK] At Cohen's - Seth's bedroom Kirsten: Hi, honey. Seth: Whoa. Pancakes? When is this Valentine's Day tradition going to die? Kirsten: I'm sorry that I've been babying you lately. I'm just feeling a little motherly. Seth: That's okay, I'm feeling a little sulky, so we're a good match. Kirsten: Summer's going through something, isn't she? Seth: She's wondering if I'm her Sandy Cohen or her Jimmy Cooper. Kirsten: Well, I hope I didn't worry her. So how about you? Are you okay? Seth: Well, Summer and I have this history, or at least I thought we did. These things that happened to us when we were kids that convinced me we were meant to be together. Now if those things turn out not to be true... Kirsten: Seth, how long have you dated Summer? Seth: Uh, February... like a million years. Kirsten: And in that time, how many things has Summer doneto convince you that she's the girl for you? Seth: A lot. Kirsten: So I think you should focus on that. The real Summer, and not the one that you worshipped in grade school. You know what I think? Seth: What? Kirsten: I think that you found your Sandy Cohen. Seth: Aw, aw, me, too. Mm, Mom, why'd you and Jimmy Cooper break up, anyways? It doesn't matter. FLASH-BACK Jimmy: Sorry I'm late. Your dad's working me to the bone. Kirsten: Not even paying you. Jimmy: That's an internship for you. He'll make it up to meafter college when I sign my life away to the Newport Group. Kirsten: Jimmy, we need to talk. I don't know if I can do this anymore. Jimmy: Do what? Kirsten: Us. I need to end this. Jimmy: What are you talking about? We have a plan. Go to college. Come back here, pick up where we left off. Kirsten: Jimmy, on paper, all of that makes sense. But in my heart it just doesn't feel right. Jimmy: I don't understand. Kirsten: You don't just wake up one morning and decide to change your entire life. Jimmy: Whatever it is, we'll figure it out together. Kirsten: It's already been figured out. I know what I want to do. Jimmy: Kirsten, what's going on? Kirsten: I got into Berkeley. Jimmy: And you're going? Jimmy leaves and Kirsten had an abortion. FLASH-BACK'S END At Roberts' Summer: Don't you see we are supposed to control our own destiny? Mm-hmm. Or else what's the point of life if it's just something that happens to you? Maria: Summer? You have a visitor. Summer: George. Paul: Hi. I'm Paul, I'm here for GEORGE. Summer: George? Paul: Yes, The Global Environmental Organization Regarding Greenhouse Emissions. We've been reading your blog about the sea otters. I was in the area and I'm here to offer you a job. We'd like you to come work for us. Summer: Oh... GEORGE. At Bullit's office Kaitlin: It doesn't matter who it is. All that you need to know is that the game has changed. If you want to marry my mom, you're going to have to step your game up. Gordon: Well, old Bullit knows how to romance a lady. I've been married five times. Check this out. Emerald earrings for your mom, matches her eyes. Kaitlin: Just toss these, all right? I want something better. I want out-of-the-box thinking. Gordon: Hot air balloon ride. Hot air balloon. A blimp? Oh, heck, squirt, all I care about is that your mom is happy and if I'm not the man for that... Kaitlin: No, Bullit, buck up. You want to marry my mom, right? Gordon: Of course. Kaitlin: And you want to be my stepdad. Gordon: And play ping-pong with you till I'm old and gray. Hell, yeah. Let's go. Kaitlin: Then we need to make a plan. I want nothing less than the most spectacular Valentine's date ever. Is one of those planes yours? Gordon: Two of 'em. Motel Taylor: Okay, they're gonna play the money card, but we can play the emotion card. Frank: Am I right, Ryan? Ryan: Yeah, you're right. Taylor: Okay, Frank, tell me what it is that you love about Julie. Frank: Well, uh... She's, uh... Taylor: I forgot what we're dealing with here. Atwoods on Valentine's Day. Ryan: I told you. Frank: Look, I really appreciate this, but you guys don't have to do this for me. It's not your job. Ryan: We want to. Taylor: Mm, text from Kaitlin. "Y'all are going down. Team Bullit." Frank, if we're going to win, you need to give me something here. Frank: Okay, Julie's amazing. All right? She's... she's pretty. She totally gets me? Taylor: Come on. Dig deeper here! Look inside. What is it that connects you to her? Frank: We're just... from the same world. Yatch club Sandy: You barely touched your chicken. Kirsten: I guess I wasn't in the mood for it. Sandy: Well, you're feeling nauseous and tired. So I can't expect you to be dancing on the tables. If something else is bothering you, tell me. Kirsten: I hate keeping secrets from you. Sandy: I didn't know you were. Kirsten: There's one thing. Something that I, I never told you Sandy: Is this about Jimmy Cooper? Kirsten: Can we get the check and talk about this at home? Parking Julie: Thank you. Kaitlin: Mom, hold up. There's been a change in schedule. Julie: Kaitlin, what's up? Kaitlin: We have way cooler plans. And your ride should be here any second. Julir: What is this? What is this shirt? Kaitlin: Nothing, I'm just getting in the spirit of things. Last-minute ambush. Should have seen this coming. How'd you find us? Ryan: Taylor activated the GPS on your phone. Can I talk to you? Kaitlin: Damn GPS. I should have thought of that. Julie: What are you guys, the KGB? What's going on? Ryan: I'll explain. Kaitlin: Mom, whatever he says, do not listen to him. Ryan: Look, I know you have plans tonight, but I was hoping you'd cancel them. Julie: Oh, you found out about my case of the Franks. Ryan: He's waiting for you. He knows it's a long shot, but I said I'd try to get you to meet him. I'll drive if you want. Kaitlin: Mom, come on, your ride's here. Julie: Tell your dad that in another life I'd be there. I'm sorry. Kaitlin: Mm, told you, Atwood. My team always wins. Ryan: I guess so.Wait. What? Kaitlin: What the hell? In the limo Julie: Driver, could you turn the AC on, please? Taylor: Yeah, sure, Ms. Cooper. Parking Kaitlin: I cannot believe this. Ryan: Yeah, that's war, bitch. Kaitlin: God, Ryan, how could you be so mean? I'm only 15. Ryan: Oh, oh, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Kaitlin: Me, either. You're going down. Ryan: Kaitlin... Kaitlin: I'm following your decoy limo. Ryan: Then I'll follow you! [SCENE_BREAK] Julie: Did Bullit buy me a hot dog stand? Uh, driver, I don't think this is right. Taylor: You're here. Julie: Taylor? I don't know what to say. What is all this? Taylor: Go, say it, like we practiced. Go. Frank: Okay. Uh, this is sort of a testament to where we came from. But I really want tonight to be about where we could go. It's just a promise ring. I know it's not fancy. I wish I could offer you more, but this is all I have. And that is that I love you, the real you. Julie: Frank, I... Kaitlin: Mom, the Bullit's waiting. Julie: Frank, I'm sorry. I have one daughter left and she loves Bullit, even if I don't. I'm sorry, Frank. At Cohen's Kirsten: And then after we had Seth and we were trying for a second and nothing was happening, I thought it was some kind of karmic payback. Sandy: Well, now you know it doesn't work like that. Why didn't you ever say anything? Kirsten: Part of it was timing. It had only been a month. But then the best thing in the world happened to me. FLASH-BACK Sandy: Mondale and Ferraro. Mondale and Ferraro, path to equality. Kirsten: No, thanks. Sandy: What are you, a Republican? Oh, I'm sorry, did you catch it from your parents? I hear it's hereditary. Kirsten: I guess I did. Sandy: Well, if you don't want a pamphlet, here, have a pin, on me. Kirsten: I might wear it, but only because it's stylish. Sandy: You know, if you're not a pamphlet reader, I could take you to coffee...tell you all about why Mondale and Ferraro are gonna lose. Kirsten: If you're so sure they're gonna lose, why bother? Sandy: I don't know, it feels right. So... coffee? FLASH-BACK'S END Kirsten: I guess I had fate on my mind when I got you this gift. Sandy: Where on Earth did you find this? Kirsten: I turned the house upside down. Sandy: If it hadn't been for Walter Mondale and Geraldine Ferraro, there never would have been a Seth Cohen. Kirsten: There wouldn't be a Ryan. Sandy: And whoever this is going to be... All because of that one day. My lucky day. Kirsten: My lucky day. At Roberts' - In Summer's bedroom Seth: Okay, I admit it-- I put way too much stock into that poem. Summer: I'm not the girl that you thought I was. Seth: You're not.You, Summer, are better. See, back then you were just this fantasy. You were this little girl, who, when I would see, you would either ignore me, or make an obscene gesture and keep on walking. Summer: Yeah, I kind of remember that, sorry. Seth: But now look at you. You fight for sea otters. You've befriended Taylor Townsend. You're an incredible mom to that bunny. Summer: I guess I have changed. Seth: You've evolved. And over the last 950 days we've been dating... and, yes, I've counted and yes, I counted the Zach era, because, really, who were we kidding? I've watched you grow into this incredible woman. And that is who I love. Summer: Thanks, Cohen. Seth: What's wrong? Summer: I met GEORGE. Seth: I'll kill him. Summer: This guy came by from GEORGE to recruit me. He heard about my work with the sea otters and invited me to travel across the country and talk to college kids about voting next November. Seth: What about Brown? Summer: I'd have to defer a year, live on a bus. Seth: Sounds like a great gig. Summer: I don't know that we could see each other. Seth: So you have to choose between me and GEORGE. Summer: That's the thing I don't know that I have to. I do believe that you are my destiny, I do, Seth. But I just don't know that you're my only destiny. Here. Happy Valentine's Day. I picked couples through time. Seth: Oh, and where are we? Summer: I was hoping that someday we could go in the middle. In the limo Kaitlin: So can I tell you what Bullit's surprise is? I can't hold it any longer. Julie: Sure. Kaitlin: His plane is sitting on the tarmac gassed up and ready to take you anywhere in the world. Mom, you're going to be spendingValentine's Day anywhere in the world that you want to go. I mean, that's pretty amazing. Julie: Yeah. Yeah, it really is. Kaitlin: No. Mom... At the airport Gordon: Squirt, where the heck's your mom? Kaitlin: I know I asked you to be my stepdad. Do you mind being my friend instead? Gordon: So Julie's had enough of the old Bullit, eh? Kaitlin: We can still play ping-pong together. Gordon: Come on. You know, I let you win. Kaitlin: No, you don't. Gordon: Yes, I do. Kaitlin: In your dreams. Gordon: You ever see that movie Casablanca? Kaitlin: No. Gordon: It goes like this: Peanut, "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship". Parking Ryan: Come on, luck be a lady, luck be a lady. Oh! I can't believe this, I didn't win. Frank: Shocking. Taylor: Well, if it's any consolation, though, this soft serv is outstanding. Would anyone like seconds? Ryan: Yeah, I would. Frank: Yeah, me, too. Thank you. Ryan: Sorry things didn't work out with you and Julie. Frank: Hey... I'm sitting here sharing ice cream with my kid. It's been a long time since I've done that. Tell me that's her. Ryan: That's her. Frank: I'm suddenly nervous. Ryan: You're going to be great. Julie: I'm having the strangest craving for a corn dog. Frank: There may be one left. Seat? Taylor: How about that? Fourth quarter, Team Frank comes through in the clutch. Ryan: Oh, yeah. Taylor: True love on Valentine's Day. What more could you ask for? Ryan: Yeah... Hey, uh, so, you know, we reserved the limo for another two hours. What do you say we drive down the beach? Taylor: Uh, that sounds suspiciously like a Valentine's Day date to me. I don't know, that might make us break up. Ryan: What if I said... I had newfound faith? Taylor: I would say I agree. Ryan: I have newfound faith. Taylor: I agree. Okay. Onward, Jeeves. Yes, yes, yes, to the beach. End of the episode

Ryan and Taylor devise a plan to bring Julie and Frank closer, but Kaitlin tries to keep Bullit in Julie's personal life. Summer begins to have doubts in her relationship with Seth. Kirsten opens up about her past with Jimmy to Sandy as they prepare for their new baby.

fd_The_Vampire_Diaries_05x05

fd_The_Vampire_Diaries_05x05_0

[Whitmore College] (Jesse is tied up in Dr. Maxfield's lab) Jesse: Dr. Maxfield, please. Why are you doing this? My insides, they're burning up. I'm hungry (Dr. Maxfield gets closer and speaks in a recorder) Dr.Maxfield: Subject 62547. After his initial transition, 62547 has undergone 3 day without feeding. Subject is weak but lucid. Upper left and right cusped normal after blood stimulus is removed Jesse: What are you doing to me? Dr.Maxfield: Pupils are at full dilation. Sensitivity to light... sensitivity to light an obvious 11 on a scale from one to 10 Jesse: What the hell is happening to me? Why am I so hungry? What are you doing to me? Dr. Maxfield: Subject is confused yet self-aware. Personality seems intact. Hunger remains primary focus. All in all appears to be a perfect candidate (Elena is outside, writing in her diary) Elena: Dear diary, do you ever get sick of me writing about death?It's been 4 days since Bonnie died... or 4 days since I found out Bonnie died. She wanted me to go back to school, so here I am, back at school... studying, going to class, trying to move on like everyone else. Stefan had it easiest. He doesn't even remember Bonnie, not that anybody has seen him except for Caroline, who's back with Tyler. He's been a healthy distraction for her, to say the least... And I've adopted my own distraction... Dr. Wes Maxfield. My roommate was killed by a vampire. Dr. Maxfield covered it up, and I'd like to know why (Dr. Maxfield rejoins her) Dr. Maxfield Welcome back. See you at the costume ball tonight? Elena: I wouldn't miss it (He leaves) Elena: Besides, the more I have to think about, the less time I have to miss Bonnie... (Bonnie is next to her) Bonnie: I'm right here, Elena, and I miss you, too Elena: But in the meantime, I choose to believe that she's watching over me because that's who Bonnie is (Damon rejoins her) Damon: Busted Elena: Hey Damon: Hey, miss avoiding me for 3 days Elena: Avoiding you? What? We've been talking Damon: Texting. One time. "Want to be my plus one at a costume ball?" Winky face Elena: And you never replied. So I'm guessing this special, in-person visit means yes Damon: Definitely will maybe consider thinking about it Elena: It's at 8:00. Caroline got us costumes Damon: Where you going? Elena: To class. I'm late (Caroline and Tyler are lying on the floor) Caroline: Oh, before I forget, I talked to the registrar, and your major is-- drum roll--Sociology... Tyler: How about we don't talk about my major right now? Caroline: And I compelled you a single Tyler: Definitely don't want to talk about my dorm room Caroline: Well, we could talk about the hybrid-sized jerk that you've been for not calling me back ever Tyler: How many times do you want me to tell you? I've been helping a werewolf pack in the land of no cell phone reception Caroline: Well, lucky for you, I figured out a way for you to make up for it Tyler: I thought I did make up for it a couple dozen times (She laughs) Caroline: You are escorting me to the Whitmore historical ball Tyler: The what? Caroline: It's the one time a year where they put their whole collection on display and everyone dresses up as famous historical figures. I got Stefan a costume. Even he's going. Come on, Tyler. I mean, how cute will we be as Bonnie and Clyde? Tyler: Seriously? Caroline: You're right. Let's not talk (Elena walks by Megan's memorial and sees a guy standing in front of it. She rejoins him) Elena: Hey Aaron: Hey Elena: I'm Elena. Megan used to be my roommate. Did you know her? Aaron: We knew each other growing up Elena: Oh, wow. I'm sorry. Pretty sad memorial, huh? Aaron: Guess it's not exactly cool to mourn during fall rush Elena: Everyone mourns differently. Some do flowers. Other do what their loved ones would've wanted Aaron: Yeah. Well, what Megan would have wanted was to still be here alive Elena: They said she committed suicide Aaron: Yeah. I know. That's what they said Elena: So then what do you think happened? Aaron: Yeah. If you care about her, get her sunflowers. She liked those Elena: Hey, do you have a name? Aaron: Yeah. I do (He leaves) [A Hotel Room] (Nadia is on the phone with Silas and Katherine is lying on the bed) Nadia: Cut to the chase, Silas. What do you want? Silas: I want Katherine Pierce. What do you think I want? Nadia: So do I, which is why I took her away from you. You can have your brown-eyed bitch of a cure for immortality when I'm done Silas: But you've had her all night long. So how much longer do you need? Nadia: Aren't you immortal? What's a few more hours to you? Silas: Here's the thing, Nadia. I don't really care about what you need. I only care about what I need. I'm a little selfish like that Nadia: Then why don't you mind-control a whole town of people and find out where I'm holding her? Right. You can't Silas: I'm very well aware of my current super power predicament, thank you very much, and even though my brain is on the Fritz, thanks to an ex-fianc e stalker witch who can't seem to take a hint, that doesn't mean that I'm not still brilliant and crafty and becoming rapidly well-versed in the power of cell phone tracking (She hangs up) Katherine: Little tip, woman to woman... don't piss off the diabolical ones, and if you're gonna hold me hostage, the least you can do is feed my properly Nadia: We'll eat lunch on the road. Let's get out of here Katherine: Or just hand me over, let him take his little sip of my blood so that he can cure himself of immortality, and we can all be on our merry way back to finer accommodations Nadia: A little tip, woman to woman... don't offer to hand yourself over to the diabolical ones when you don't know the whole story Katherine: Indulge me. What's the whole story? Nadia: Silas needs more than just a sip to cure himself. He needs every last drop of your blood in your body Katherine: But I'm a human now. If he did that, then... Nadia: You die. Now come on. Let's go [Salvatore's House] (Damon is in the living room with Jeremy) Damon: So, as we know, in a psychotic lapse of judgment, Bonnie brought you back to life and died in the process. May she rest in peace Jeremy: She's actually right over there (She's sitting on a chair) Damon: Whatever. Look. The whole point is, I just happen to know a supernatural being who just happens to want to die, and in the spirit of nature needing balance and life for a life and all that stuff, I just think it would be a huge waste of a perfectly good death Jeremy: What are you talking about? Damon: Something Elena doesn't need to know about until it works Jeremy: Wait. You want to work with Silas? [Mystic Grill] (Silas and Damon are at the bar) Silas: So... Why did you call me? Damon: Same reason you answered. You need help, and I'm gonna help you [Salvatore's House] Damon: From the beginning, Silas' whole bad-guy plan was to kill himself, pass on to wherever he was gonna pass on to, and reunite with his dead girlfriend Amara I want to use his death to bring Bonnie back to life [Mystic Grill] Silas: What makes you think that I need help? Damon: Well, for starters, you're still here, as in why do you suck so badly at killing yourself? [Salvatore's House] Damon: To die, he has to be mortal. If he's mortal, then he's a witch, and if he dies as a witch, then he's stuck on the other side forever Jeremy: He already tried to bring down the veil to the other side. He failed Bonnie: Maybe he has a plan "B." Maybe he wants to do more than just drop the veil and let all the ghosts out Damon: She knows I can't hear her, right? Jeremy: She thinks Silas wants to destroy the other side completely Bonnie: Powerful spells are bound by something even more powerful... the moon, a comet, a doppelganger. The other side was made 2,000 years ago, and it still exists. That means she must have bound it to something that could exist just as long [Mystic Grill] Silas: A mystical anchor. That's what binds her spell to the other side. I want to destroy it. Qetsiyah, or Tessa or whatever the hell she's calling herself these days, she wants to protect it. So she's the only person that knows where the anchor is hidden, but fortunately, she will be at the Whitmore historical ball this evening Damon: Really? Thought you said you lost all of your psychic powers Silas: Oh, I did, but I still have my incredible powers of observation, and I observed her buying a Cleopatra costume today [Salvatore's House] Damon: Back to my original question, let's say Silas destroys the other side, cures himself, becomes a witch. Is it supernaturally possible that he can do a spell that swaps her life for his life once he... pfft... kills himself? Bonnie: Supernaturally, yeah, it's possible, but this is the same Silas who murdered my father. He's ruthless, and whatever spell he could do, there'll be some consequences. There always is. So no. My answer is, definitely not Damon: What'd she say? Tell me? Jeremy: She's in Bonnie: What? [Mystic Grill] Damon: So we have a deal Silas: Well, we have half a deal. I'm resurrecting some witch with my death, but we have yet to discuss how you're helping me Damon: Well, you've yet to tell me what you want Silas: Oh, it's fairly simple, actually. I want you to kill your brother [A restaurant] (Nadia and Katherine are sitting at a table) Nadia: I've been tailing you for 500 years. There are a few things I'd like to clear up Katherine: Why would I tell you anything? Nadia: You indulge me in some answers, and I will let you go Katherine: Really? My freedom in exchange for a little Q&A? Hmm. Ok Nadia: In 1864, there was a vampire roundup in Mystic Falls Katherine: Was there? I'm bad with dates Nadia: Word on the street is that you sold out many vampires, including your best friend Pearl and her daughter Annabelle Katherine: I was running from Klaus. I needed to jet solo. I threw a couple of vampire names on the hit list. Sue me. I also impersonated a teenager to get my ex-boyfriends to make out with me, staged a fake fight to trigger my lover's werewolf curse, ooh, and I chopped off this douchey guy's fingers with a butcher knife once. That was cool Nadia: What about ripping a mother away from her daughter, having her killed for your own benefit? Katherine: What are you getting at? Nadia: Now a little bit about me. I had myself turned into a vampire to hunt you, to even the playing field, to track your every move for however long it took me until I found you, and I did this because you killed my mother. It happened in Paris, 1645 Katherine: I go to Paris for shoes. The shoes I remember. Everything else requires a few more details Nadia: Her name was Lily Atoma. You were on the run from Klaus. She took you in, but when his minions showed up, you pointed at my mom, and you said, "That is Katerina Petrova. She is the one you want." So they took her away Katherine: You were never gonna let me go, were you? Nadia: No, but I'd hate for you to die on an empty stomach. Time to go [Salvatore's House] (Bonnie is with Jeremy) Bonnie: You need to call Damon and tell him you lied Jeremy: So I can lie for you all summer as your witch translator, but when it's something I want... Bonnie: Silas is too dangerous Jeremy: And bringing me back to life wasn't? Oh, right, it killed you Bonnie: I brought you back because Elena needed you Jeremy: Now she needs you Bonnie: What about the consequences? Haven't we learned this by now? When you abuse magic, there's always a price Jeremy: What is worse than this? What is worse than seeing you and hearing you... And not being able to feel you? This isn't enough anymore. Let Damon try to bring you back [Whitmore College] (Caroline and Tyler arrive at the historical ball) Tyler: Wow. All of this, and you weren't even on the dance committee Caroline: I may have e-mailed them a few suggestions Tyler: Did I mention you're the hottest serial killer in here? Caroline: Well, considering the crowd, I'll take that as a compliment (He sees Stefan) Tyler: I thought you got Stefan a costume Caroline: He's James Dean. I went easy on him. I figured, between the blood lust drama, the Damon-Elena drama, the abuser drama, he's been through enough (Stefan rejoins them) Stefan: Hey, dance with me. I'm buzzed, and I'm on the verge of having a good time Tyler: Have fun. I'll get us drinks (Elena rejoins Damon) Damon: Lady Anne Boleyn. Now, who in their right mind would cut off a head so gorgeous? Elena: Uh, you, my King, my not-so-loving husband Damon: Well, maybe I can dance my way out of this doghouse Elena: Yeah, maybe. Maybe later Damon: Ooh, or maybe you can tell me what's going on with you. Come on Elena: Bonnie died 3 months ago, and what was I doing? I was having the summer of my life with you Damon: Ah, guilt. Don't know it, but I've heard it can be a real bitch Elena: I know that it's not my fault that Bonnie died, but it is my fault for not figuring it out sooner Damon: Elena, you are allowed to be happy once in a blue moon. Besides, Jeremy was lying to us all summer Elena: I should've figured it out, Damon. I know that it's not the same, but I'm not gonna let Megan's death fall through the cracks, too (She looks at Aaron) Damon: Who the hell is that? Elena: It's Megan's hometown friend, i.e. the latest person of interest in the Whitmore mystery. I'll be right back (Elena rejoins Aaron) Elena: Hey, whatever your name is. Nice T-shirt, understated Aaron: Hey, whatever you're supposed to be Elena: Anne Boleyn, pre-beheading, obviously Aaron: Impressed Elena: So does a costume compliment earn me like, a formal introduction? Aaron: Why do you want to know who I am? (She compels him) Elena: Did you kill Megan? Aaron: Of course not Elena: Then why are you acting so shady? Aaron: Because everyone around me dies. It's like a curse. My friends, my family... one by one, I've lost every single person in my life. So if you had any idea what survivor's guilt felt like, you'd leave me alone Elena: Forget about my questions Aaron: It's Aaron. My name. I'll see you around maybe (Tessa is at the bar, dressed as Cleopatra. Stefan rejoins her) Tessa: Where I come from, open bar meant ceramic jugs of Phoenician wine Stefan: Ok Tessa: You have no idea who I am, do you? Stefan: No offense, but actually, I have no idea who a lot of people are Tessa: Tessa, formerly known as Qetsiyah Stefan: The girl who wiped my memories Tessa: Nothing personal, little ex-boyfriend drama. Let me make it up to you, buy you an "I'm sorry" drink (Damon rejoins them) Damon: More like an "I'm sorry" keg. Come on (They go in another room) Stefan: You, my brother, make a terrible wingman Damon: Trust me; last guy to hit on her is still paying for it Stefan: So what, exactly, are we doing here? Damon: Well... (Silas appears) Silas: Hello me (Damon breaks Stefan's neck) Damon: So you want to explain to me why I just killed my brother? Silas: Well, Tessa's spell mentally linked us. I lost my psychic abilities. Stefan lost his memories Damon: And this severed the link? Silas: Yes, Damon. I can read your mind again. No. I'm not lying, and maybe you enjoyed breaking your brother's neck just a little bit too much Damon: Sold Silas: I'll cozy up to the witch and sift through her mind, figure out where she's hiding the anchor, and you, all you got to do is keep him dead Damon: Isn't Tess gonna be slightly suspicious when the man whose brain she just fried is all of a sudden showing interest in her? Silas: Of all the men here, Tessa went straight for Stefan.This face won her heart before. See, a woman never forgets her first love, no matter how badly it ended (Silas, posing as Stefan, rejoins Tessa) Tessa: Ah, look who's back. Am I in trouble? Silas: Well, according to my brother, I am supposed to hate you Tessa: And do you? Silas: I'll tell you after that drink. Good. You like Tequila Tessa: Yes, but not as much as bacon. In my day, it was all about lamb. No one thought to cure pig fat Silas: God, you have the most beautiful smile Tessa: You gonna stare at it all night, or are you gonna ask me to dance? (Caroline and Tyler are dancing) Caroline: Hey, you want to get out of here? These costumes come with handcuffs, and you have a single Tyler: Look, Care. I didn't just come back here to get you in bed Caroline: I know. It's just... A happy by-product of us being in school together Tyler: No. I mean... Caroline: What? Tyler: I'm just really glad to be here (Silas and Tessa are also dancing) Silas: So what brings you to a college costume ball? Tessa: Look at me. Last time I looked this good, I couldn't enjoy it Silas: Oh, that's right, the whole "being stood up at your wedding" thing Tessa: You shouldn't know that. I told you that before I fried your memories Silas: Ok. You got me. I might have asked around about you Tessa: And I'm paranoid. That's what I get for trying to marry a lying, manipulative b*st*rd Silas: Oh, come on. The guy must've had some redeeming qualities. I mean, we know he was obviously extremely good-looking...But, I mean, was the guy at least funny? Tessa: Are you defending him? Silas: No, no. It's just that you've been on this revenge kick for 2,000 years, and maybe hating him is an excuse to keep him in your life. There's a part of you that still loves him Tessa: Now, I really hope he thinks that. I want to see his face when he realizes just how wrong he is Silas: Ok. I got to admit, there's a part of me that just wanted to hear you say that you still love me.That's how big my ego is, but since you're obviously in denial... Tessa: Oh, my God, Silas... Silas: Now, where's the anchor to the other side? Tessa: I don't know. I'm looking for it, too Silas: What do you mean, you don't know? You created it Tessa: Yes, I created it, but the Travelers hid it after they killed me. They move it constantly Silas: So what are you doing here? Tessa: My pendant is in one of these displays. It's a magical talisman that enhances my powers. I need it to do a locator spell so I can find the anchor Silas: Well, then get to it and forget everything we just spoke about Tessa: Thank you for the dance Silas: Thank you (Stefan starts to wake up and looks at Damon) Stefan: Hey, hey, breaking my neck, huh? Damon: Yeah Stefan:Pumping me full of Vervain. All we need is a Damon-sized rationalization Damon: Oh, the new you sucks Stefan: How would the old me deal with this, barrel full of laughs? Damon: He'd know it wasn't about him Stefan: Oh, who's it about, Damon, huh, about you, your desperation to prove to Elena that you're a worthy boyfriend? Damon: I'm gonna get her best friend back, ok? [SCENE_BREAK] [An alley] (Nadia is hurt. Katherine rejoins her) Katherine: There you are. Having trouble getting that out? I grazed your heart on purpose Nadia: Which means you didn't want me dead? You still want something Katherine: I do. I want to know why you made up that fake story about your mom Nadia: It was a test. You failed Katherine: I knew it was a fake story. By 1645, I'd been running from Klaus for a century and a half. There's no way any of his minions would have mistaken anyone for me, but you know how my brain works, right? So you must have known that I wouldn't have fallen for that sob story Nadia: I wanted to get under your skin, and it worked because here you are Katherine: What kind of sick game are you playing? Nadia: It's not a game, Katherine. You did kill my mother, only it wasn't in Paris. It was in a little cottage in England, and it wasn't 1645. It was April 6, 1492, and she was all alone, exiled by her family two years earlier. You stuck her head in a noose, pushed her off the chair, and snapped her neck Katherine: Who are you? Nadia: My name... is Nadia Petrova... And you're my mother Katherine: Uh... no [Whitmore College] (Elena sees Dr. Maxfield) Dr. Maxfield: You look like a woman on her way to the guillotine Elena: Actually, she was beheaded with a sword Dr. MAxfield: See? And that's why I teach Bio Elena: And you are Abe Lincoln? Dr. Maxfield: Dr. Jekyll Elena: Ah, ok. Yeah. I can see that. So where's Mr. Hyde? Dr. Maxfield: I don't know. I'm not responsible for my darker half Elena: So would it be totally inappropriate if a student asked you to dance? Dr. Maxfield: Who could refuse a Queen? Besides, you're not, nor will you ever be, one of my students Elena: Major points for the dance moves, but zero points for lying on my roommate's death certificate Dr. Maxfield: Look. I didn't want to lie, but I couldn't exactly tell her parents a mountain lion attacked her at a frat party. I'd be fired. Want to know my theory? Elena: What's that? Dr. Maxfield: I think a vampire hunted her down, ripped her throat out, and threw her off that roof Elena: What do you know about vampires? Dr. Maxfield: Doesn't matter what I know, Elena, because we're never gonna see each other again Elena: And why is that? Dr. Maxfield:Because there are people at this school watching you and your friends and asking questions you don't want them to ask. So pack your things, drop out, and move back to Mystic Falls (Caroline rejoins Tyler) Caroline: Hey... Here you are. What are you doing? Tyler: Look, Care... I can't do the college thing right now Caroline: Yeah. I completely understand. I have been pushing way too hard, and, you know, you need to make your own decisions. Point is, you're back, and we're together Tyler: Do you know the reason we're together? It's because Klaus granted us permission to be together. I'm sorry, but I can't live like that Caroline: I see. So this is about Klaus Tyler: No. This is about me. He killed my mom and got away with it. I can't just start caring about sociology and frat parties Caroline: You haven't even given it a chance Tyler: I didn't come here to give it a chance Caroline: You came here to say good-bye Tyler: I need to go after him. I need to find a way to destroy his life like he destroyed mine Caroline: You know what, Tyler? For someone who hates Klaus, you certainly sound a lot like him (Tessa is performing a spell. Silas, still posing as Stefan, enters) Tessa: Stefan. Come to see the show? Silas: What are you doing? Tessa: I'm using this pendant to find something I'm looking for, and I found it Silas: Good (His head suddenly hurts) Tessa: Stefan? (Stefan moves) Damon: You awake? Stefan? You alive again? Stefan: How does it feel, brother? (Silas is still suffering) Tessa: Stefan... Stefan, are you ok? (Stefan enters) Stefan: Tessa, that's Silas Tessa: No Stefan: He's working with my brother. Everything he said to you was a lie (He leaves) Tessa: That's all he knows how to do... lie. You know where the anchor is. Too bad you won't be around to find it. Silas: You can't kill me Tessa: I don't have to kill you yet Silas: You love me. You know you love me Tessa: I did love you... And then you broke my heart, and now I'm gonna break yours... Or at least stop it from working so your blood can't flow and your veins dry up and you rot from the inside out so the world can see you exactly as you are... cold, gray, hideous, you monster (Dr. Maxfield rejoins Aaron) Dr.Maxfield: Where do you think you're going? Aaron: What? Dr.Maxfield: Give them. Come on Aaron: I'm fine Dr.Maxfield: He said, releasing molecules of alcohol on his breath Aaron: You know, you sound like that dad who thinks he's cool, but isn't Dr.Maxfield: Well, I'll settle for that very uncool and mildly responsible legal guardian. Keys...Now Aaron: Can I have some money for a cab? I mean, you do manage my trust, right? Dr.Maxfield: I saw you talking to Elena Gilbert. Do yourself a favor. Stay away from that one Aaron: Why? Dr.Maxfield: Because behind my very uncool exterior, I do care about you, Aaron Aaron: Whatever Dr.Maxfield: Be safe (Elena enters and discovers Silas. Damon's here) Elena: Oh, my God. Stefan Damon: That ain't Stefan Elena: Silas? Damn it.What the hell is going on? Damon: Looks like Tessa had her way with him Elena: So if that's Silas, then he's not a problem anymore. This is a good thing, right? Damon: Actually, no. It's a very, very bad thing [A hotel room] (Nadia wakes up. Katherine is here) Nadia: You're a fool not to run. Silas will find you Katherine: Or he won't. You're the one who said it. I'm pretty good at dodging the diabolical ones. Besides, Silas doesn't need me until he figures out how to destroy the other side. If he cures himself before then, he goes back to being a witch. He dies as a witch, well; he's stuck in supernatural Purgatory. There's just been one outstanding question that's just been nagging at me for the last 500 years. Where were you in 1498? Nadia: I don't know. I was 8. Why? Katherine: Because by 1498, I'd escaped, ditched the people that were chasing me, and found my way back to Bulgaria. I searched every village, every cottage, but I couldn't find you Nadia: You went back? Katherine: Yes, Nadia. I went back for you. It's nice to meet you [Whitmore College] (Caroline returns to her room. Tyler is packing) Caroline: Hey Tyler: Hey. Care... Caroline: wait. I've been thinking about it, and I've decided that... I'm not going to have this conversation again. I can't just sit here while I'm waiting for you to come back Tyler: I don't want that, either Caroline: Then stay; just be the love of my life. Just love me more than you hate him Tyler: I'm sorry, Care. I can't do that Caroline: No. No. No! Don't you dare walk away from me. I swear to God, Tyler, if you take one more step, we are done, ok?No more surprises, no more excuses, no more chances. We are done (He leaves) [Salvatore's House] (Silas is on the couch. Damon and Elena are there) Damon: So professor blondie knows about vampires? Elena: He said that if I don't drop out of school, the wrong people are gonna start asking the right questions Damon: Ugh, that's not good. What are you gonna do? Elena: I don't know, but all I do know is that finding out the truth about Megan isn't gonna bring Bonnie back Damon: Yeah. Well, neither is a desiccated Silas in our living room Elena: So the only way for Silas to trade in his life for Bonnie's is if he's a witch, but the only way to become a witch is to have the cure Damon: Yep (Someone knocks on the door) Elena: What? Damon: Now, who could that be? (It's Katherine) Damon: Why, hello Katherine: What's so urgent? I'm on the run. Don't exactly have time for a pit stop.Or maybe I do. Maybe I have all the time in the world. Katherine Pierce eludes death yet again...and you two finally did something right for once. How does it feel? Damon: Thrilling (She understands something) Katherine: Damon, no Damon: He needs the cure to become a witch Katherine: No. No. No, Damon. No, no, please. He need all of my blood. It'll kill me, Damon. Damon, please, I don't want to die. I don't want to die, Damon. I don't want to die. Please Damon: Good-bye, Katherine (She dies at the hands of Damon and Silas) Damon: Do you hear that? Elena: You've got to be kidding me Damon: Takes a licking, keeps on ticking (Katherine wakes up) Katherine: Am I in hell?

Elena tries to move on after the revelation of Bonnie's death. Damon and Jeremy develop a plan to return Bonnie to the living by using Silas who is trying to make himself mortal and commit a suicide; a life for a life. But the only way they could bring back Bonnie is by killing Stefan, that's what Silas' offer is. After a public meal Nadia reveals to Katherine that she is responsible for her mother's death in Paris when Klaus' minions came for her. Katherine attacks Nadia in the restaurant and escapes. At the Monster's Ball, Damon kills Stefan to temporarily restore psychic powers to Silas in order to get in Qetsiyah's mind and find the location of a supernatural marker. Believing that Silas is Stefan, Qetsiyah dance with Silas and once his powers are restored he compels Qetsiyah to reveal where the marker is. Qetsiyah divulges that she doesn't know the location of the marker, as the Travelers hid it after they killed her and move it constantly, she is instead looking for an amulet that amplifies her powers. Stefan revives from his most recent snapped-neck and snaps Damon's neck, rushing to save Qetsiyah from Silas. Retaliating, Qetsiyah crushes Silas' heart, though it won't kill him, it will cause him to rot from the inside out. A tense conversation with Wes and Elena ends with him telling her to pack her bags, drop out of school and return to Mystic Falls, stating that they won't see each other again. Meanwhile, Nadia shocks Katherine by telling her that Katherine did in fact killed her mother when she became a vampire as Nadia is Katherine's daughter. With revenge on his mind, Tyler decides to go after Klaus and ends his relationship with Caroline, seemingly for good, in the process. Damon and Elena use Katherine to bring Silas back as a witch, but despite being drained of blood, Katherine revives.

fd_One_Tree_Hill_05x08

fd_One_Tree_Hill_05x08_0

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] BROOKE : Here is to our crew and to everyone getting what they want. MOUTH : I'm kinda seeing my boss... Alice is considering me for an on-air position, and those are hard to get. MILLICENT : I'm really glad Brooke set us up. (Mouth receives a text message "kiss her and you're fired. Love, Alice" ALICE : Haven't you learned? You only get off when i do. MOUTH : This is over. ALICE : Then you're fired. HALEY : You're just upset because the talent left your band. (Nathan starts a fight with Jason) HALEY : He's not worth it, okay? Let it go! NATHAN : You're lucky. CARRIE : I'm a little drunk, so in case I said a lot of inappropriate things tonight, I meant all of them. LINDSAY : I know Peyton's the reason you're writing again, and I refuse to be a chapter in that book. LUCAS : Lindsay. Lindsay, wait. LUCAS : I fly to L.A., I ask you to marry me. You said no, so I moved on. Why haven't you? PEYTON : 'Cause I should have said yes. PEYTON'S OFFICE Same scene from 507, Lucas and Peyton are kissing PEYTON : You still love me, don't you? LUCAS : I have to go see Lindsey. INSIDE LUCAS' BEDROOM Same night from 507 Lindsay's sitting on the bed crying, with a luggage beside her. Lucas walk's in. LUCAS : Lindsay? LINDSAY : I'm gonna go to new york, Lucas. I'm not sure when I'll be back. LUCAS : Don't do this. I know you're upset. I know. But you need to believe me when I tell you, you're the girl I love. LINDSAY : Then how come you never gave me this? (Lindsay hold the engagement ring) LINDSAY : I got home, and I thought I'd do some menial chore to get my mind off of how angry I was. Laundry was the first thing that came to mind. LUCAS : God. LINDSAY : Who hides a ring in a sock drawer, Luke? LUCAS : Lindsay, that ring... LINDSAY : Don't. I'm just gonna go. LINDSAY : For the record. it's as beautiful as I imagined it would be. Take it. LUCAS : I was waiting to give you the ring until I was sure I had another book in me. I just don't want you to end up regretting me because I can't finish. LINDSAY : I would never regret you. LUCAS : Yeah, you say that now. But what if I'm not Lucas the writer? What if I'm Lucas the small-time basketball coach? What if that's all I'm ever gonna be? LINDSAY : Then I'd be the small-town basketball coach's wife. Look at me, Lucas. I don't love you for your book. I love you for the mind that book sprang from. And I don't care if you never write another word again. You will always be more than a small-town basketball coach, because you'll be the man that I love. LUCAS : Lindsay. (Lucas got down on one knee) LUCAS : Evelyn Strauss, will you marry me? (Lindsay just smiles and Lucas takes her in his arms) OUTSIDE LUCAS' BEDROOM Peyton walks to his door and knocks. Lindsay answers, crying. PEYTON : Lindsay, I'm sorry. I never wanted... LINDSAY : Lucas asked me to marry him. (Lindsay shows Peyton her hand, and Peyton looks at Lucas in the background, Lucas finally looks away) NATHAN AND HALEY'S BEDROOM Same night from 507 HALEY : Are you awake? NATHAN : No. HALEY : Sorry I got upset with you. NATHAN : You had a right to be upset. I finally started walking again. I've got no business being in some guy's face. HALEY : Lucas kissed Peyton. NATHAN : What? When? HALEY : Before we left Tric, in Peyton's office. I walked in, and I saw the whole thing, or enough of it. I don't understand how Lucas can do that to Lindsey after everything that they've been through. And Peyton, who does she think she is? She turned down Lucas' proposal. She broke his heart. She has no right to take him from Lindsay. NATHAN : Maybe it wasn't what it looked like. Maybe it was just a friendly kiss, or maybe it was a goodbye kiss. Maybe it was just a mistake. HALEY : No, I know what I saw. This was a full-on romantic Lucas/Peyton kiss. NATHAN : You should forget what you saw. HALEY : Oh, really, forget it? No, what I need to do is tell Lindsay. NATHAN : See, that's not your place, regardless of what it looked like. I mean, look, if Lucas is cheating on Lindsay, then he needs to be man enough to tell her himself. INTERIOR, CLUB TRIC Same night from 507 Brooke's still at the bar, drinking, the club is almost empty. BROOKE : You know, of all the guys I dated in New York, not one of them ever named a shot after me. I think it kind of separates you from all the rich, handsome, famous, successful, educated types. OWEN : Flatter me all you want. You're still cut off. BROOKE : Listen, pal, my name is technically a brand, so I could sue you for naming that shot after me. OWEN : First of all, you named the shot after yourself. Second of all, that shot was the Patricia Foster last week, the Liz Thompson the week before. Chances are, it'll have a new name tomorrow night, so if you want to sue me, better do it fast. BROOKE : Well, if my name's only gonna be on it for the night, maybe there's something else I should do real fast. OWEN : I think you are way too full of yourself to make that kind of decision. (Brooke's cell phone rings) BROOKE : Hi, P. Sawyer. Please tell me those are tears of joy. Okay, no. I'm coming home right now. OWEN : Ooh, not so fast, headline waiting to happen. I'll drop you off. BROOKE : You do like me. OWEN : No, you driving drunk is just something I actually can get sued for. MOUTH'S BERDROOM Mouth is walking in his room, wandering if he'll call Millicent MILLICENT VOICEMAIL : Hi it's Millicent, leave a message. MOUTH : Hi, uh, Millicent, it's...it's Mouth, Marvin. Mouth. Um, I just wanted you to know I had a really nice time with you tonight, and I'm sorry if it ended weird or if you felt bad, not that you should feel bad. I should feel bad. I do feel bad. So call me. Marvin...Mouth. I mean, you should call me, and my name is Marvin or Mouth, not you should call me Marvin. I just w...(Bip) BROOKE AND PEYTON'S HOUSE Peyton is lying on the couch with Lucas' book in her hand when Brooke comes home BROOKE : Tell me you are not lying here, torturing yourself with a copy of Lucas' book. PEYTON : "In that moment, my triumph was not a state championship but a moment of clarity." BROOKE : I've read it, honey. I know how it ends. PEYTON : That's funny. Because it seems like Lucas has forgotten. (Peyton's crying) PEYTON : Oh, Brooke, he asked Lindsay to marry him. BROOKE : What? That's crazy. PEYTON : Maybe. Or maybe crazy is me thinking that... that he could still have feelings for me after all these years. BROOKE : But we both know Lucas has a history of throwing himself into the wrong relationship, especially when he can't admit the truth about who he loves. PEYTON : No. It's different this time. BROOKE : Okay. PEYTON : What am I supposed to do? BROOKE : Come here. (They both stand up and walk to the fireplace) BROOKE : First, you're gonna let go. (Peyton throws Lucas' book in the fire) BROOKE : And now we're gonna sit, and you are gonna cry on my shoulder for as long as you need to, okay? Come here. LUCAS (voiceover) : Suddenly, it was as if the roar of the crowd, the echo of the final buzzer, the cheers of my teammates were all sounding from a thousand miles away, and what remained in that bizarre muffled silence was only Peyton, the girl whose art and passion and beauty had changed my life. In that moment, my triumph was not a state championship, but simple clarity, the realization that we had always been meant for each other, and every instinct to the contrary had simply been a denial of the following truth. I was now and would always be in love with Peyton Sawyer. CLOTHES OVER BROS Brooke arrives at the store, immediately following by Haley and Jamie. HALEY : I'm really sorry we're late. HALEY (talking to Jamie) : Hey, no tv for you and no ice cream until the afternoon. Keep it to one scoop, okay? BROOKE : One. Okay. HALEY : You forgot. BROOKE : It's fine! You look so handsome! HALEY : Okay, um, your dad's gonna pick you up after practice. All right? Bye. Thank you. BROOKE : Bye. (Haley makes he way to the door when Lindsay arrives) LINDSAY : Haley, so glad you're here. HALEY : Oh, I've got to go, actually, but is everything okay? LINDSAY : Oh, everything's great, I mean, as long as this town's big enough for two Mrs. Scotts. (Lindsay shows her hand) HALEY : Oh, my god. (Brooke and Haley look at the ring) HALEY AND BROOKE : Congratulations! INTERIOR NATHAN AND HALEY'S HOUSE Nathan and Carrie in the kitchen NATHAN : Hangover? CARRIE : More like teetering on the edge of death. (Carrie giving a cup of coffee to Nathan) NATHAN : Don't you need that? CARRIE : I'll brew more. NATHAN : Thanks. CARRIE : Listen, I don't remember much of last night, but I have a feeling I was less than professional. NATHAN : It was probably my fault for not cutting you off. On the bright side, at least your drunken mistake didn't ruin your basketball career. CARRIE : Did it ruin my nanny career? NATHAN : You got to stop the flirting, Carrie, and the skinny-dipping and... CARRIE : I think the severity of this hangover pretty much guarantees it'll never happen again. NATHAN : I hope that's true. Drink plenty of water. MOUTH OFFICE Mouth starts packing his stuffs, Jerry is walking in JERRY : Hey, Mouth -- what are you doing? MOUTH : Uh, well, the thing is... JERRY : Did you hear about Alice? She got fired. MOUTH : What? When? JERRY : First thing this morning. She's already gone. How great is that? MOUTH : That is greater than you know. So, what happened? (Mouth is putting his stuffs backs on his desk) MOUTH : Do you think they found out about how abusive she was? JERRY : Not exactly. Apparently, she was sleeping with an employee. They're totally, like, cleaning house. (Jerry leaves and Mouth starts packing again) LUCAS' OFFICE AT TREE HILL HIGH Nathan and Skills are watching basketball, Lucas is walking in SKILLS : Man, we ain't gonna never beat la salle if you gonna be late. NATHAN : Actually, we're never gonna beat la salle, even if you're on time. LUCAS : Maybe I should have spent last night planning a strategy to win instead of getting engaged, huh? SKILLS : Definitely. Wait. Hold on. Did you just say engaged? NATHAN : Congratulations, big brother. That's awesome. SKILLS : No doubt, baby. Way to go. So, who's the lucky girl? LUCAS : You're kidding, right? NATHAN : No, that's a legit question. With Peyton back in town, it could be anybody's ballgame. SKILLS : Could even be Brooke by now, right. LUCAS : Stop. It's Lindsay. SKILLS : Excellent choice. NATHAN : Things might work out for you after all. (Quentin is arriving with a bandage on his wrist) SKILLS : Maybe not. BOYS LOCKER ROOM AT THE GYM Nathan and Quentin are there with the doctor NATHAN : Do you see what I'm talking about? You can't just hit people. QUENTIN : Man, all I know is Ms. James-Scott needed somebody to defend her honor, and her own husband wasn't man enough to do it. NATHAN : Let me tell you something... my wife's honor is not something that can be taken away by some loudmouth jackass in a bar. What can be taken away is your ability to play. DOCTOR : It looks like it's just a sprain. Could be a few days. It could be a month. NATHAN : That's just great. That's a hell of a punch, Q. You might have taken out a whole team with it. LUCAS' OFFICE AT TREE HILL HIGH Lucas is at his desks, Peyton walks in. LUCAS : Hi PEYTON : If you wanted to break my heart, there are a thousand ways you could do it. You did not have to propose to Lindsay to hurt me. LUCAS : It didn't have anything to do with you. It's just weird timing. PEYTON : Weird timing. Okay, Luke. LUCAS : I know that it must seem like... PEYTON : No, don't marry her, Luke! LUCAS : Peyton, you can't... PEYTON : Am I crazy? Do you not feel what I have felt every day that we've been apart for the last three years? Because I have felt there is this vital piece of me that's been missing. And I tried to fill it, Luke. I tried to fill it with work and friends and music, and it stayed empty until last night when you kissed me, and my entire universe snapped back into focus. Lucas, look me in the eye and tell me that that kiss did not feel exactly the same as it felt three years ago. (Peyton is crying) LUCAS : I'm in love with her, Peyton. (Haley walks in) HALEY : What is going on here? PEYTON : Um, just congratulating Luke. Did you hear he's engaged? HALEY : Yeah, I'm gonna be her matron of honor. Luke, I need to talk to you alone. (Peyton leaves the office) HALEY : Something you want to tell me? LUCAS : Is this a trick question? HALEY : Luke, marriage is a huge commitment. Can you honestly tell me that you're positive Lindsay's the one? LUCAS : Okay, I know where this is going. To tell you the truth, Lindsay will always be my number two... but only because you are my number one. And you always will be. Just don't tell Lindsay or Nathan. HALEY : Lucas, marriage is serious, and you better be ready to commit to Lindsay for the rest of your life. (Haley leaves the office) LUCAS : Does that mean you're happy for me? CLOTHES OVER BROS Brooke and Jamie are watching tv. Millicent is also there. ON TV : Get the doctor! Nurse! JAMIE : Mama said no tv. BROOKE : What mama doesn't know won't hurt her. ON TV : She's okay. We've set the monitor to notify of any changes. (Owen walks in) BROOKE : Let me know if Adrian tells Lexi they harvested the wrong lung. JAMIE : You know he's going to. BROOKE : Can I help you? OWEN : Looking for a gift for this girl I know. BROOKE : Well, you've definitely come to the right place. What's this girl look like? OWEN : Dark hair, hazel eyes. BROOKE : If she didn't already own it. I bet she'd like this one. (the phone's ringing in the background) OWEN : Yeah, but she's a little taller than you, so do you have any other sizes? MILLICENT : Brooke, it's Victoria. She's setting a meeting for you with a furrier. BROOKE (to Owen) : One sec. MILLICENT : Apparently, furs are about to make an unprecedented comeback. BROOKE : Really? Jamie, cover your ears. (Brooke takes the phone) BROOKE : Let's make this short and sweet. There is no situation in which I am going to kill furry woodland creatures to make coats out of them, okay? Thanks. OWEN : Let me guess... bar hag's still calling the shots? BROOKE : Aren't you supposed to be shopping for some fugly giantess? OWEN : I'm just saying, why do you work with her if she makes you that crazy? BROOKE : Well, first of all, the bar hag, as you call her, is my mother. And second of all, she's my business partner. And if it weren't for her, I wouldn't have a bazillion-dollar company, a magazine, and all these lovely clothes you see here. OWEN : My mother wanted me to be an orthodontist, but I just said no. BROOKE : Judging from your car, maybe you should have reconsidered. OWEN : A jab against my car. You're that girl, huh? That's disappointing. What's underneath all the clothes, Brooke Davis? (Owen leaves the shop) [SCENE_BREAK] EXTERIOR TREE HILL HIGH Peyton is leaving the school and runs into Molly MOLLY : Hey, Peyton, it's me -- molly. I... I live in your old bedroom. PEYTON : Right, keeper of my closet door, hey. If I'd known other people would be reading everything I wrote on that thing, I probably would have been more careful. MOLLY : Well, I'm glad you weren't. I wanted to ask, did Lucas really carry you out of the library after you got shot? PEYTON : Um, yeah. MOLLY : That must have been so romantic. PEYTON : Well, I was actually kind of preoccupied bleeding out on the library carpet, so. MOLLY : Didn't really think about that. PEYTON : I don't remember writing that part down on my closet doors. (Molly shows her Lucas' book) PEYTON : Oh, right ,of course. MOLLY : I've read it 13 times. Is that weird? Well, it's just that, when we moved into our new house and I read your closet door, I knew it was special. Then I read this book. And I realized I was part of this timeless love story. The truth is, sometimes, I read that door, and I imagine that I have your life instead of mine. PEYTON : No, Molly, I am not someone you want to live vicariously through, okay? I'm... I'm a mess. MOLLY : Lucas Scott didn't think so. And besides, even if you are, no one's ever gonna write about my life. (Molly gives a hug to Peyton before leaving) MOUTH'S OFFICE Mouth is in the director's office DIRECTOR : It's Marvin, right? MOUTH : Yes, sir. DIRECTOR : I suppose you heard we had to fire Alice day for carrying on an inappropriate relationship with a subordinate. I suppose you know a little something about that. MOUTH : Yes, sir, I... DIRECTOR : It's okay, son. Apparently, half the station knew about Alice and Rick. MOUTH : Rick? Evening news anchorman Rick? DIRECTO : I know. Programming director sleeping with her anchor... oh, boy. Competition's gonna love that, huh? MOUTH : I'm sorry ... Rick, with the toupee, Rick? DIRECTOR : Listen, Marvin. we're in a bit of a scramble here. We're gonna need all hands on deck. I watched your audition tape. It's good. You know, the tree hill ravens have their season opener coming up. How would you like to cover it? MOUTH : Yes, sir. Yes. DIRECTOR : Good man. MOUTH : Thank you. DIRECTOR : Uh, Mcfadden, word of advice... they are opportunity here for a kid who will work hard and keep his nose clean. MOUTH : Yes, sir. Out of the director's office, Mouth runs into Jerry JERRY : What did they say? Do they know about Carlton? MOUTH : What about Carlton? JERRY : He was giving it to Alice. What... you didn't know? MOUTH : They said she was sleeping with Rick. JERRY : Really? Wait, wait, wait. Anchorman rick with the toupee? MOUTH : So she was sleeping with Carlton, too? JERRY : Oh, yeah. Hey, Mouth they didn't say anything about me, did they? MOUTH : No, why would they s... you were sleeping with her, too? JERRY : Just a few mornings before work. (Mouth starts leaving) JERRY : Rick... I mean, that's just nasty. RECORDING STUDIO Mia is recording and Peyton and Haley are in the booth PEYTON (to Mia) : You ready? Okay, we're rolling. Haley, did I do something to upset you? HALEY : You mean besides lying and cheating? PEYTON : Excuse me? HALEY : You told me you weren't back for Lucas. PEYTON : I'm not. HALEY : That's the lying. PEYTON : Haley HALEY : You kissed him last night. I saw you. And that's the cheating. And now I have to be the matron of honor to a really sweet girl whose fianc is hooking up with his old girlfriend behind her back. So, yeah, I know we're friends, but, yeah, Peyton, you did something to upset me and that should upset you. (Peyton doesn't answer) HALEY : Okay, listen. You said no, Peyton, and Lindsay said yes. PEYTON : I said, someday. HALEY : Well, Lucas fell in love in the meantime. You've got to stop trying to take that away from him. OUTSIDE, RIVERWALK Brooke is with Jamie BROOKE : But that's the thing... it's not what he says, it's the way he says it. He honestly acts like he is above me, which is ridiculous. He's a bartender. He mixes drinks for living JAMIE : Like chocolate milk? BROOKE : Not exactly. JAMIE : Are you gonna kill furry woodland creatures? BROOKE : I most certainly am not gonna kill furry woodland creatures. JAMIE : Promise? BROOKE : Pinky swear, yeah. Now, where was I? Oh...He should be so lucky. I am Brooke Davis. JAMIE : Brooke Penelope Davis. BROOKE : Exactly! Besides, what has he ever even said to make me think he's worth my time? JAMIE : What's underneath all the clothes, Brooke Davis? BROOKE : How old are you again? (Jamie's showing four of his fingers) BROOKE : All right. One more scoop for the boy genius, but don't tell your mom. Come on. CLOTHES OVER BROS Carrie is making some shopping. Millicent is taking care of her. MILLICENT : You got to know it's on your sleeve this top is really cute. Big date? CARRIE : Oh, just something to impress a guy. MILLICENT : Well,I hope this does the trick. Fingers crossed. (Mouth arrives at the shop) MOUTH : Millicent, uh, you never called me back, so I thought I'd swing by. MILLICENT : Actually, I didn't call back on purpose. MOUTH : Can I ask why? MILLICENT : I don't think we're a good match. You like sports, and I like ballet, so there's that. MOUTH : That's the worst reason I've ever heard. MILLICENT : Then how about you like having s*x with your boss, and I like ballet? Brooke told me. MOUTH : Thank you, Brooke Davis. Look, that's completely over with, as of last night. MILLICENT : Well, I'm glad to hear that, Marvin, but it's not really the point. I don't want to date the kind of guy who would sleep with his boss to get ahead at his job, no matter how hot or funny or smart he is otherwise. MOUTH : Millicent. MILLICENT : I'm very sorry, Marvin, but you're just not the guy I had hoped you would be. LUCAS' OFFICE AT TREE HILL HIGH Mouth is interviewing Lucas MOUTH : I'm Marvin Mcfadden, along by... I'm Marvin Mcfadden, and with today is... LUCAS : Are you okay? MOUTH : I'm sorry. This is the biggest break of my life, and I can't stop thinking about this girl I met. She thinks I'm morally bankrupt, and the truth is, I have been lately. LUCAS : Come on, Mouth. You're the most stand-up guy I know. All right, look, if it's true turn it around. MOUTH : Thanks, Lucas. Where were we? LUCAS : Uh, you were asking me how we intend on, um, avoiding getting our asses handed to us. MOUTH : I'm here with coach Lucas Scott, whose storied buzzer-beater sealed a championship for the tree hill ravens four years ago. GRAVEYARD Peyton sits in front of her mother's grave PEYTON : Hi, mom. So, is there any way that there's, like, a cosmic loophole that could allow you to talk to me? 'Cause I could really use one of those mother/daughter talks all the other girls are raving about. Lucas has asked another girl to marry him. I know, right, who does he think he is asking some beautiful, brilliant, successful editor over the unemployed girl who said someday? What do I do now, mom? Where do I go from here? (We see a leaf falling in front of Keith Scott's grave) PEYTON : Thanks, mom. INTERIOR NATHAN AND HALEY'S HOUSE Carrie is in the kitchen, the phone is ringing CARRIE : Scott residence. HALEY : Hey, Carrie. It's me. Listen, I have been making some great progress with Mia, and I was hoping to put in a few more hours, but I wasn't sure if Jamie and Nathan were waiting on me for dinner. CARRIE : They're not home right now, but I'll handle dinner if they show up. HALEY : Really? That would be great. Thank you. You're a lifesaver. CARRIE : Just happy to help. (Carrie hangs up the phone) CARRIE : Boys, dinner's ready! Jamie, Nathan and Carrie, later that night. Jamie just made a drawing. NATHAN : Let me see that. Oh, it's genius. It's a work of art. CARRIE : A work of art. Look, mama. Uh, I mean, nanny Carrie. CLOTHES OVER BROS MOUTH : I've been thinking about what you said earlier, and I get it. I wouldn't want to date you if you were sleeping with your boss, either. MILLICENT : Brooke? MOUTH : No, Victoria. I would totally date you if you were sleeping with Brooke. Millicent, wait, uh... I'm not at guy, at least that's not the guy I've been in the past. Would you give me just one chance to prove that to you, please? I promise, it's not a date. LUCAS' OFFICE AT TREE HILL HIGH Lucas is still watching basketball, Skills arrives SKILLS : Go home. But first we toast your engagement. LUCAS : You know, I'm nervous. SKILLS : Oh, don't be nervous. Them chumps at la salle, they won't even know what hit 'em. LUCAS : Yeah, I'm not talking about the game. SKILLS : I know. Look, I was nervous my first time, too. Just remember. it's a beautiful expression of love between a man and a woman. LUCAS : Very funny. SKILLS : Luke, you're a man. I'd be worried if you said you wasn't nervous. So, here's to my friend Lucas Scott, who don't need to be nervous because he always, without fail, follows his heart. LUCAS : Cheers. (Both watch the tv for a second) LUCAS : All right, how about just one more? MOUTH'S OFFICE Mouth and Millicent enter the recording studio MILLICENT : Where are we? MOUTH : I know it doesn't look like much, but this is my favorite room in the world. With our satellite, I can find almost any sporting event anywhere, anytime. MILLICENT : That's great, but why? I mean, why sports? MOUTH : I guess, when I watch a game, it reminds me we all have greatness inside of us. You know, on any given day, an underdog can rise up. It gives me hope. (Mouth put on a screen and we can see ballet) MOUTH : Here we go. MILLICENT : What's this? MOUTH : The Moscow ballet. I hear they're pretty good. MILLICENT : I don't understand. MOUTH : Well, I was hoping you would tell me why you love ballet, 'cause I think you're really great, Millicent, and I'd love to know more about you. INTERIOR NATHAN AND HALEY'S HOUSE Carrie and Jamie are in the bathroom JAMIE : I'm sorry I called you mama. CARRIE : It's okay. You want to hear a secret? Sometimes I pretend you're my kid. EXTERIOR PEYTON'S OLD HOUSE Peyton comes and leave a bag and a letter on the doorstep INTERIOR NATHAN AND HALEY'S HOUSE Nathan just put Jamie into bed, Carrie talks to him in the hallway CARRIE : You're so good with him. NATHAN : No, he's good with me. (Carrie laughs) NATHAN : What? What's so funny? CARRIE : Nothing, just... you've had paint on your face for the past two hours. NATHAN : Why didn't you tell me? Where? CARRIE : Here Wait a minute. Close your eyes. You actually managed to get paint on your eyelids. NATHAN : Okay. CARRIE : Hold on. I'll get it. (Nathan closes his eyes and Carrie kisses him, he is not doing anything) JAMIE : Nanny Carrie! (Carries leaves to see Jamie) INTERIOR TREE HILL GYM Lucas is alone in the gym, Peyton walks in PEYTON : Do you think maybe whitey will let you out of practice early so we can catch a movie? LUCAS : What are you doing, Peyton? PEYTON : Just pretending for a second that we're still 17 and nothing's changed. Would you believe I actually met a girl who lives vicariously through us, at least the us in the book? LUCAS : Sure, I do. It was a great story to be a part of, but it also took place a long time ago. PEYTON : I know. I didn't come here to rehash the past. I was reminded today in a roundabout way that the most perfect act of love is sacrifice. That's what Keith did for Karen... burying his feelings for her for all those years so he could be a good friend. (Peyton is taking Lucas' hand) PEYTON : I love you, Lucas. And I think I have since the first moment we locked eyes. And it is gonna suck! But if what you want is for me to let go. Then I'm gonna do it. Oh, be happy, Luke. I want that with all my heart. (She kisses his hand and leave) INTERIOR PEYTON'S OLD BEDROOM Molly is bringing the bag and the letter. She is finding a jar of painting with a paintbrush in the bag. She starts reading Peyton's letter PEYTON (voiceover) : Dear Molly, this is gonna sound a little strange, but I'd like you to paint over my old closet door. The thing is, there is never a time when you'll be more honest, when your convictions will be stronger, or when your motives will be more pure than they are right now. which means you should chase whatever it is that excites you... MOUTH'S OFFICE Mouth and Millicent are still watching ballet MILLICENT : They have such perfect lines and grace and power. MOUTH : If I closed my eyes, you could totally be talking about sports right now. MILLICENT : Maybe you should try it. MOUTH : Ballet? MILLICENT : Closing your eyes. (Mouth closes his eyes and Millicent kisses him on the cheek) PEYTON (voiceover) : Be confident and take risks. and paint over my words so you can start writing your own... EXTERIOR TRIC Owen comes into his car and finds Brooke on the backseat, naked OWEN : I assume you're not carjacking me. BROOKE : You said you wanted to know what was under the clothes. OWEN : I was being existential. BROOKE : I was being literal. and serious. OWEN : You make two fantastic points. I should be getting home. BROOKE : What? You're turning down naked me? Nobody turns down naked me. OWEN : Relax. It was a joke. You win. BROOKE : Really? OWEN : Absolutely. Let's have s*x, Brooke Davis. Your place or mine? BROOKE : As if. (Brooke puts her clothes back on) BROOKE : you haven't earned that, bartender boy. (Brooke kisses him on the check) BROOKE : Sleep tight. (She leaves the car) PEYTON (voiceover) : My story may have inspired you, but I'm certain your story will inspire the next girl to live in our room... OWEN : What a girl... INTERIOR NATHAN AND HALEY'S HOUSE Nathan is in the kitchen, Haley arrives HALEY : Hi NATHAN : You're home late. HALEY : Yeah, sorry. Mmm, Mia's album is sounding awesome. NATHAN : Great. Just, uh, wish you were home more. HALEY : Thanks. Me, too. God, it's been a long day. I snapped at Lucas, basically called Peyton a whore. I feel pretty lousy about it. NATHAN : Are you gonna tell Lindsay about the kiss? HALEY : I don't know. I'm starting to think some things are better left secrets. (Carrie walks in) CARRIE : I'm going to bed now, okay? HALEY : Yeah, great. We're fine here. CARRIE : Just let me know if you need me. INTERIOR PEYTON'S OLD BEDROOM Molly has colored in white Peyton's closet door, but we can still see "Peyton + Lucas = TLA" inscribed PEYTON : I want you to know you don't need somebody to write about you in order for your life to mean something. You can write about yourself. Make your own destiny. Then, years from now, the next girl will keep what you write on that door long enough to remind you of how inspired your life is. And you can tell that girl to paint over the door, because you realize the words you wrote, the friends you had, the urgency you felt will always be there underneath the paint. LUCAS ' BEDROOM Lindsay's already in bed, Lucas joins her LUCAS : Let's get married right away. PEYTON (voiceover) : The love you professed will always be there, the spark of something undeniable, a seed of hope, the truth, for better or for worse, burning fiercely, just below the surface. Love, Peyton PEYTON'S OFFICE She is finishing a drawing, crying.

Peyton admits her true feelings to Lucas. Brooke makes a play for Owen and Mouth tries to convince Millicent he's a better man than she thinks he is. Haley wrestles with whether or not to reveal information that could ruin Lucas' relationship, and Nathan is put in a position that could spell the end of his marriage. Lucas and Skills face the coaching prospect of playing their season opener at a disadvantage.

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"Into the Woods" 12th Episode of Roswell Production Code: 1ADA11 [SCENE_BREAK] (Episode starts with a scene of two people making out in the back of a truck in the woods. There is a lot of lightning flashing in the sky, along with a bright white light) (Scene switches to the Crashdown, where the lights die off for a brief instant due to the lightning storm outside. Liz has a cold and is taking some echinacea to combat it) Voice-Over: I hate the start of a cold. That little tickle that tells you something's about to happen that you know you can't prevent, something that could be mild if you do all the right things, or could knock you off your feet if you're not careful. Liz: You're late. Maria: Liz, today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Liz: Spending time with your mother again? Maria: No, I mean it. Aren't you tired of being a slave to men? Liz: Definitely your mom. Maria: Tired of spending every waking moment pining over them, just for us to get our hearts crushed in the end. It is time to branch out, to explore other possibilities. You and me babe, together. (Maria opens up her uniform to reveal a navel ring) Liz: Maria, what are you... Maria: Ta-da! Liz: Oh, my God! Maria: We are turning over a new leaf. We are enjoying our wild and crazy years to the fullest. You know, having fun for a change. Liz: Yeah, but skewering my navel is not exactly my idea of fun. Maria: Yeah, relax, honey. You think I'd let anyone get near me with a needle? (Liz sneezes) Maria: You still pumping that echinacea I gave you? Liz: Yes, like 4 times a day. Jeff: Hey, could one of you give me a hand over here? Liz: Sure. (Liz walks up to her father wearing Maria's fake ring on her nose) Jeff: Oh, my god! Liz: Don't worry, dad, it's fake. Jeff: Anything else I should know, a tattoo, maybe, uh... Liz: No. Nothing. Jeff: You've been so busy with school and new friends, I mean, we don't even get a chance to talk. Liz: I know, dad. Jeff: We could make up for it this weekend. Liz: This weekend? Jeff: Isn't that the fathers' camping weekend? I saw it listed on your school calendar. Liz: Yeah right, it is this weekend. You're right. Jeff: You still want to go, don't you? Liz: Yeah...yeah, dad, I would--I do want to go. It's just that, you know, not that many people I know are actually gonna be going. Because they've sort of, like, outgrown it. Jeff: Oh. Is that how you feel? (Milton enters the Crashdown looking very excited) Milton: Where's Max Evans? Maria: I thought he worked for you, dude. Milton: You...you're Max's girlfriend, right? Jeff: She is? Liz: No, no, not really. Milton: I have to find him. Liz: Why? What's going on? Milton: Just everything we've been waiting our entire lives for. There's been a sighting. (Opening credits) (At the UFO Museum, Milton is briefing Max on the sighting) Milton: It was here, out in Frazier Woods. A close encounter. How many of us can say we've had that? Max: How'd you find out? Milton: Police scanner. You can never trust the law to share information. Max: Well, who reported it? Milton: Some hiker named Buzz. Max: So it could all just be a hoax. Milton: Oh, no, it's real all right. There's corroboration. Uh, 2 motorists, a family that was camping, and a fly fisherman by the name of Rocky Calhoun. I've seen a lot of hoaxes, Evans. I can smell them a mile away. This is no hoax. Max: Frazier woods is a big place. Milton: Not when you know where the cops are looking. Max: Near the Indian reservation, huh? What exactly did these witnesses see? (The Sheriff is interrogating Rocky Calhoun, one of the people who reported the sighting) Rocky: A flash of light. Sheriff: Can you describe it in any more detail? Rocky: Nope. Sheriff: Well, how big was it? Did it have a color? How long did it last? Rocky: Listen, I ain't one of those nuts that sees spacemen coming out from behind every tree. Sheriff: Of course not. Rocky: You know what they do with those people? They lock them up tight in the looney bin. Sheriff: You don't have to worry about that, Rocky. You mind if I call you Rocky? Rocky: Everyone does. Look, Sheriff, there's been dry lightning all over these woods for days. Sheriff: Did this look like dry lightning to you, Rocky? All right. Let me turn this off. Ok...now it's just between you and me, ok, Rocky? You just tell me what you saw, from the beginning to the end, and I swear on my badge, no one will ever have to know. Rocky: It was a white-hot light, kind of like an x-ray. (Maria is walking through the hallways at school and several guys are noticing her) Guy: Hey Maria! Guy: Whoa! Guy: Whoa, check it out, man! Guy: Hey hey, Maria! Maria: It's an aqua bra. You know, all the fun of implants except without the invasive surgery part. Liz: You have officially lost it. Maria: No, I have found it, babe, ok? I've had 3 phone numbers. It's only second period. Liz: What? Maria: Yes. Neil: Hey, Maria. Maria: Hey, Neil. Maria: Do you see what I'm saying? Ok, do you want to try this thing on? Liz: I don't know, I...who's Max meeting in the eraser room? Maria: Ixnay on the ining-pay, remember? Liz: No, I am not pining. I'm just...I am just curious, that's all. I hate not knowing what's going on with Max. Maria: His decision, if I recall. (Liz and Maria see Michael enter the eraser room) Maria: No wonder he couldn't make a commitment. Alex: Ok, I give up. What are we staring at? Liz: This is an aqua bra. Would you like to try it on, Alex? Alex: Yeah, maybe later. Here, have a flier. If I pass out enough of them, then I could raise my P.E. grade from a "C" to a "B-". Liz: Oh. Ooh, father camping weekend? I don't suppose either of you would be... Alex: Did I mention that I'm not very athletic, except for dodgeball? Maria: No dad! Liz: I hope mine has finally outgrown it. (Alex sees Isabel by herself at her locker) Alex: Oh, gee, look at the time. I gotta go. I'll see you guys. Liz: Oh. Maria: Like a puppy in heat. Liz: I know. Maria: He is my next project. Alex: Hey, are you, uh, walking this way? Isabel: Actually, I'm walking this way. Alex: This way works for me. How's it going? Isabel: It's going fine, Alex. Alex: Great, great. So, movies. Isabel: Movies? Alex: Yeah, I was wondering if, uh, do aliens enjoy cinema? Isabel: Alex... Alex: Yeah, right, sorry. The "a" word. Anyways, there's this, uh, Fellini retrospective at the art house theater this Friday night, and I wanted to know if maybe you wanted to, uh, go? Isabel: No, I'm not really into that. Alex: Ok. Isabel: You want to just see a regular movie instead? Alex: Yeah. That'd be great. Isabel: Ok. See you later, Alex. Alex: Yeah, whatever you say. (Isabel goes into the eraser room) Isabel: Can't believe I'm in the eraser room with you two. Max: We need a safe place to talk. So I found out a lot about the sighting from Milton. Michael: Told you that place would get to you. Max: 5 people saw a big flash in Frazier Woods. Isabel: 5 basket cases. Max: Then why has Valenti already closed off a 4-square-mile area of the forest near the Indian reservation? Michael: You mean near the cave? Isabel: Max, you don't think this sighting... Max: It was no coincidence. We need to get there before Valenti does in case there's something to find. Isabel: Yeah, but we don't know how many guys he has patrolling. If anybody saw us, then it would just make him more curious. Max: What do you do in Frazier Woods? Isabel: You hike, you fish, you camp out. Max: I can't believe I'm actually gonna suggest this, but we could go on that camping trip this weekend. Michael: You're kidding me, right? Isabel: If anybody found us, we would just be kids missing from our school group. Max: There's only one problem. It's a...it's a fathers' weekend. Get to know your dad kind of thing. Michael: Guess that lets me out, huh? (Mr. Parker is looking for Liz and enters her room) Jeff: Hey, sweetie? You in here? Hey, now! (Liz comes out from the bathroom semi-dressed) Liz: Oh, dad! Jeff: Oh, gosh. Oh, I should have knocked. Liz: No, it's all right, it's ok. Jeff: I gotta get better at this privacy thing. Liz: It's no big deal, dad. Did, um, did you want something? Jeff: Uh, listen, sweetie, about this camping weekend. We should just go and take advantage of the time together. I wouldn't miss that for anything. Liz: I was actually gonna say the same thing. Jeff: And I can get to know that guy Max you've been hanging out with and, uh, he has a sister, too, right? Liz: Isabel. Jeff: And the guy with the hair? Liz: Michael. Jeff: Michael, yeah. Liz: Yeah, but I really doubt they're even going. Jeff: Oh. Well, I guess some fathers just aren't as involved in their kids' lives. Well, thanks. Liz: Sure, dad. (Hank and Michael are having another argument) Michael: There's no milk! Hank: Use beer! I thought I told you to wash the dishes. Michael: Hey, I'm eating dinner. Hank: Oh, that's what you call dinner? Michael: Yeah, like you care. Hank: What did you say? (Michael loudly knocks over some garbage) Camper: Keep it down! Michael: Hey, you, shut up! (River Dog appears from the darkness) Michael: Hey, wait! What are you doing here? River Dog: Did you see it? Michael: What are you talking about? River Dog: Did any of you see it? Michael: See what? River Dog: It was real. Michael: Would you quit talking in riddles? What was...the sighting. How do you know? River Dog: I've seen it before. (At the Crashdown, Liz is bringing camping gear down the stairs) Maria: Running away from home? Liz: Maria, I am begging you for mercy. Please come with me. Maria: Dude, I told you, my idea of the great outdoors is rolling the windows down in my car on the way to the mall. Come on, I love your dad. You love your dad. Liz: Yes, I do. I love him, but, like, in the normal father role. Which is like 5 minutes at a time, just a few times a day...not for an entire weekend with no TV. Maria: Yeah. I've always found fathers grossly overrated myself. Liz: And, you know, he has been getting so nosy lately. It's like he wants to know like every single detail of my life. He even asked me about Max and Michael and Isabel. Maria: Mmm, no. That's why me and my mom have the "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Liz: I'll pay you. Maria: How much? Liz: 25 bucks. Maria: $100. Liz: Uh, $50. Maria: $75. Liz: $62.50. Maria: How do you do that math so quickly?! Liz: Ok, $62.50 and then I'll do your math homework for an entire week. Maria: You're good. (Liz sneezes) Maria: Ooh. Hey, I brought you some more echinacea and threw in a little goldenseal, too. Liz: The bus leaves at 5:00. (Mr. Parker sees Liz paying Maria some money in exchange for a bag of what looks like drugs) Liz: Hey, dad. Jeff: Hey. (At the sheriff station) Hanson: Here's your root beer, son. Kyle: Hanson, I'm 16. Hanson: I'm sorry. Here's your root beer, sir. You sure you want to wait? Kyle: He knows we've got to get a new tent. He told me to meet him here like 15 minutes ago. Hanson: Well, it's been crazy around here. You know, the sighting. He is a walking bundle of stress. Kyle: That's my dad. Sheriff: Hanson! Coffee. That son of a bitch hiker. He spilled his guts to the Roswell Gazette. USA Today picked it up off the wire. Now Rocky's negotiating with Dateline. Sheriff: Hey, Kyle. Hanson: I guess that means you won't be returning Agent Stephens' call first thing? Sheriff: Get Miller on the phone. Tell him to rush the search. I want every inch of that woods combed before Agent Stephens sends his feebee goons out there. Sheriff: Shouldn't you be in school or something? Kyle: I have third period free, remember? We have exactly 36 minutes to buy this tent, unless something more important has come up. Sheriff: Oh. Listen, Kyle, about this weekend... Kyle: You mean fathers' weekend, dad? The only 2 days in a row we spend together all year? Sheriff: Yeah. You know, I wouldn't do this if it wasn't an emergency. Kyle: It's an emergency. Well, come on, you can tell me. I'm family, right? Is it the big invasion? Hanson: Mayor Higgins on the line, sir. Sheriff: I'll be right there. Look, Kyle, I don't know what this is yet, but I can't have anybody else find out first. Kyle: You can't or you won't? Sheriff: I tell you what. You go on ahead without me. I'll call coach Clay. I'll make sure he takes care of you out there. Kyle: Thanks for your effort. See you on Monday. (Kyle leaves dejectedly) (Michael, Max, and Isabel are discussing what to do at the Crashdown) Max: So River Dog saw the light? Michael: The dog himself. Isabel: And he said it was real? You know what this could mean? Max: Our first real proof. Could even lead to actual contact. Michael: If we haven't had it already. Max: What do you mean? Michael: Why is River Dog following me? Why does he care? Isabel: Because he knew the fourth alien. MICHAEL; Yeah, that's what he said. Max: And you don't believe him? Michael: How does he know so much? I mean, how did he know to heal me when I was sick? I mean, that's some memory from when he was a kid. And where did he get those stones from? Maybe River Dog's the guy we've been looking for all along. Max: The fourth alien? Michael: I think he's our father, Maxwell. Isabel: Michael, I don't think so. Michael: Why, because you and Max already have one? Isabel: No, that's not what I'm trying to say... Michael: River Dog knows more about us than Philip Evans ever will, no matter how many camping trips you guys take. (Alex is talking with Liz and Maria at the Crashdown, asking them if Isabel is glancing over at him) Alex: Ok, ok, ok, is she looking at me? Liz: Oh. Um...she's not...she's not really looking at you. Alex: Isabel Evans and Alex Charles Whitman out on a date? That's like so miraculous, you know. This is the biggest moment of Alex Charles Whitman's life. Liz: Listen, why don't you just take some deep breaths, ok? Alex: It's just...it's amazing, you know? I...it's totally amazing. It's...it's too amazing. Oh, God! It's a joke, isn't it? It's a practical joke. You two are in on it. You bastards. Liz: Alex, Alex, Alex, um, your paranoid schizophrenia, it's kicking in. Alex: Right. I'm gonna go to the bathroom and go have a little talk with myself. Liz: Ok. Maria: See what I'm saying? These Czechoslovakians have way too weird of an effect on us. And if you don't stay away from them, Liz, I'm gonna be picking up the pieces of your heart for the rest of your life. Liz: No, you're not, because I am staying away from him, Maria. Max and I haven't even talked to each other for days. Maria: Really? Liz: Yes. Maria: Then why has he been staring at you since he came in? Liz: He has? Maria: Am I gonna have to do an intervention with you? Liz, make him think that you are over him, that your life is so exciting. Lie if you have to. It's for your own good. Max: Hey. Liz: Hey. Max: Um, thanks. Haven't seen you in a couple of days. Liz: I...uh, it's been kind of busy. Maria: She means she's been kind of busy. Actually, we've both been kind of busy. Michael: Yeah, I can see that. Maria: You know, getting ready for the big weekend and all. Max: You have a big weekend? Maria: Dates. We have dates. With men. Michael: Men? Maria: These college guys that we met during winter break and, um, they're taking us out for dinner...an expensive dinner. Max: Great. Well, have a good time. (Max and Michael leave) Liz: Maria, look, I know that you're just trying to, you know, be helpful and everything but I... Maria: But nothing. Liz, trust me. It's for your own good. Ok? Liz: Yeah. (Liz and Maria see Alex go over to Isabel's booth) Maria: Oh, great. Alex: So, Isabel... Maria: Another one being sucked into the alien abyss. Alex: Listen, about our plans for tonight... Isabel: Oh, god, Alex, I'm so sorry. My dad is insisting we go on this lame camping trip together. I...I have to cancel. Alex: Cancel? Isabel: Yeah, I'm really sorry. Alex: No, no, no, no, no. Not at all. Don't worry about it. It's funny, because I was just about to tell you that I was gonna have to cancel because of this fathers' camping weekend fiesta. I mean, you know how dads can be sometimes. Isabel: You're going camping? Alex: Some coincidence, huh? Isabel: Huh. [SCENE_BREAK] (At the school parking lot, everyone is getting ready for the camping trip) Alex: Pops! Yeah, let me go get my dad and then get the tags for that. Pops! Hey, I'm glad you could make it on such short notice. Alex's Dad: You sure you wanna do this, Alex? Alex: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure. Come on. Alex's Dad: But we're not really prepared. Alex: Oh, our parkas, 2 sleeping bags, the wind at our backs...what else do we need? Phillip: Are you sure you guys really want to do this? Max: We've been looking forward to it. Isabel: Yeah, absolutely. Isabel: Mosquitoes, pit toilets, and animal droppings. Yes! Phillip: Well, I can't say it doesn't make me happy to see you two joining in like this. Isabel: Well, that's our new policy, dad. We're joiners. Right, Max? Max: Joiners. Jeff: Maria, I am so glad you're gonna come with us. Liz: Yeah, me, too. Jeff: Because there's something that I think we should all talk about, and it'll be good to get away from all the outside influences that you've been... Liz: Oh, my God! Oh, God! Jeff: ...distracted by. What the... Liz: Oh, my God! Maria, what am I gonna do? He's here. Maria: Ok, no problem. Let's just, um, let's tell them that the 2 college guys had midterms, and we're gonna meet them next week in Albuquerque. Liz: Maria, having a life is one thing, but having a whole fantasy life is just a little bit troubling, don't you think? Coach: Bennett, Butler. Hey, Valenti. Kyle: Hey, coach. Coach: I understand we're gonna be bunking together this trip. Kyle: Pinch me. Sheriff: I'll take it from here, coach. Sheriff: New tent, right? Kyle: Right. Kyle: So, I thought you had to work. Sheriff: Oh, they'll get a hold of me if they need to. I'll go check us in. Sheriff: Hey. Squeezed another year out of it, huh? Jeff: Oh, yeah. You know, you're lucky you got a boy. Alex's Dad: Hello, Sheriff. Sheriff: Hey. Jim. This weekend it's Jim. Alex's Dad: So, Frazier Woods, huh? I don't know about you guys, but it makes me a little nervous. Sheriff: Why? It's a well-marked campsite. Alex's Dad: I mean about the sighting. Isn't it close to where we're going? Sheriff: Ah, it's 3, maybe 4 miles. It's nothing to worry about. (Sheriff notices Max and Isabel are going on the trip) Coach: Coleman. Daskal. Evans. Hausman. Liz: He's gonna find out. They're going alphabetically, Maria. Coach: Kalinowski. Parker. Max: No, uh, expensive dinner? Maria: Actually, there's been a change in plans. Maria: And we were making such progress. Sheriff: Yeah, it's me. Tell Miller to put some extra men on the perimeter. I think something might happen tonight. I want to be ready. (Everyone is looking for their own spot to set up a tent) Phillip: Hey, hey. This looks like a good one. Max: What about over there? It's closer to the trees. Phillip: Yeah. Good call. Max: It'll be easier to get away if we're near the woods. Isabel: This is crazy, Max. Valenti is right here. Max: That's exactly why we have to do this, Isabel. If that sighting is real and there is something out there, then we have to find it first. We have no choice. Kyle: I'm gonna break the all-time record. Last year I ate 5 bratwurst. This year I'm gonna eat 6. How 'bout you? Dad..... Focus. Son. Sheriff: Sorry, Kyle. What were you asking? Kyle: What is that? What are you doing? Sheriff: I promised Miller I'd stay in touch tonight. You know what? Reception's low in this area. Let's try a different site. Kyle: But I picked this one. Sheriff: Kyle. Kyle: I... Alex's Dad: Hey, look at us. We're campin'. Alex: Hey. Ok, here we go. Now we're ready to have some fun. (The Sheriff coincidentally gets good reception with his cell phone next to Max and Isabel's campsite) Sheriff: Bingo. Reception. Hey, you got space for a few more around here? (Mr. Parker, Liz, and Maria walk near Max and Isabel's campsite) Sheriff: Jeff! Over here. Come on. We'll make a party of it. Liz & Maria: I don't think that's such a good idea. Jeff: Look, there's Alex. Come on, it'll be fun. I can get to know some of your new friends. (Kyle is telling a campfire story) Kyle: That summer, they found 5 cows, all of them mutilated with surgical precision on Haddie Wexler's farm. When she died 2 months later they did an autopsy, and sure enough, they found perfectly bored holes in her skull just where she claims the aliens made them when they abducted her that night. That skull is now buried deep somewhere within area 51. Sheriff: Got 'em on the edge of their seats, son. Where'd you hear that? Kyle: It's one of grandpa's favorite ones, isn't it? Max: I'll see your nickel and raise you a quarter. Phillip: I fold. I know better. Alex's Dad: Ha. Too rich for my blood. Jeff: What are you hidin', Max? Got some power over these guys...makes 'em do exactly what you want? Well, I call. Full house. Jacks and eights. (Max's hand would have beat Mr. Parker's hand, but he changes one of the Aces to a 2 so Mr. Parker would win) Max: 2 pair. You win. Jeff: That was a good bluff. But I saw through you. (Alex and Isabel are stargazing) Isabel: And then to the right of the Milky Way, that's Orion. Alex: Oh, wow. Isabel: And see the north star? Alex: Yeah. Isabel: Ok, now look a little to your left...and a little further out, that small group of stars right there, that's the Cygnus constellation. It's the furthest we can see from here. Alex: It's amazing. Isabel: What is? Alex: Staring at the stars with you. I mean, I used to look up there, and stars were just stars. One was just as good as the next one. Somehow with you...I mean... It's so wondrous, you know? I mean...each star is...is a mystery, you know, and so full of possibility. This is so much better than seeing a movie. Isabel: Thanks. Alex: Hey, listen, um...since we didn't get a chance to go out on our date tonight, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to do something together on Friday. Isabel: Our what? Alex: Well, not a date. That's probably the wrong word... Isabel: I just thought that we were going to the movies, you know, to hang out, to have fun, talk like real friends.... Alex: Well, yeah, me, too... Isabel: It can't be a date, Alex. Don't you understand? It can't be anything like that. (Isabel walks away) (Max walks up to Liz as she is brushing her teeth) Max: Always be prepared. Liz: Well, contrary to what what some people might think, gambling is not a dental hygiene alternative. Max: Liz, wait. Is this the way...things are gonna be between us from now on? Liz: I think you were the one that wanted it this way. Max: No, I didn't. I wanted us...to slow down, not screech to a halt. Liz: Well, then you should let me in, Max. You know, I know what's going on. I've been...I have been waiting for you to be the one to bring it up, but you don't. You're here because of the sighting, Max. Max: Please, no one else can know. Liz: Max, I know you think...that we shouldn't be together, and maybe you're right. But you made me a part of this. (River Dog goes to Michael's trailer) River Dog: It's time. (Liz goes back to her tent to find her dad going through her backpack) Jeff: I thought you were washing up, sweetie. Liz: I'm finished. What are you doing? Jeff: I'm looking for these. Can you explain this? Liz: Yeah, I can. Um...it's echinacea, dad. You take it when you're gonna get a cold. Why, what did you, uh, think? Jeff: Nothing. It's just that I... Liz: You thought it was drugs. Jeff: I didn't know what to think. You're so...grown up all of a sudden. I just feel like I'm not a part of your life anymore, that's all. Liz: I guess it's just that whole privacy thing. Jeff: Sure. Voice-Over: I guess everyone has their reasons for keeping people away, an instinct to protect yourself from getting hurt. It's part of human nature. I just wish Max would understand that...that he would realize that he's not that different from us at all. Maybe then we'd have a chance. (Max and Isabel sneak off during the night and Liz follows them, as does Valenti after they get a bit of a head start) Liz: You almost scared me to death. Isabel: How do you think you made us feel? Max: Go back right now. Liz: Max, this matters to me, too. Isabel: What matters is that we find out what this sighting is all about before anyone else can. Liz: Don't leave me out of this, Max...please. Isabel: This is a mistake, Max. Getting everyone involved like this is just... (Maria appears with a flashlight in hand) Isabel: Oh, great. That's great. Why don't we just send out a flare? Maria: I figured you guys would be having a little woodsy tryst. I hope you're here to talk them out of it, too. Liz: Maria, they're here because of the sighting. Maria: That was real? Max: That's what we have to find out. Isabel: Look, you can stand there explaining it to them all night. I'm going, ok? Liz: Well, are you staying here or are you gonna come with? Maria: You're going with them? Liz: Make up your mind, Maria. I've made up mine. Maria: You can't let go of him, can you? Liz: I don't want to. Maria: Wait! (Maria decides to follow) Maria: Ok. We've been, like, hiking for over an hour. Max: We're getting close. Maria: It is officially freezing out here. Liz: Maria, it's not that cold. Maria: Really? Really, 'cause i'm now wearing an ice bra! Whatever, it's uncomfortable! (Dogs start barking off in the distance) Liz: Is that coyotes? Max: Search dogs. Come on, we're close. Come on! (Mr. Parker wakes up and looks around for Liz) Jeff: Lizzie. Come inside, sweetie. It's too cold. Liz, listen I'm sorry about before-- (Mr. Parker notices that Liz is gone) Jeff: Oh, jeez...Liz? Deputy: Come on, boys. You on to something? Come on!Let's go! Let's go! Max: Can't outrun them. They're too fast. Isabel: What are we gonna do? Max: I don't know. Liz: You guys just keep going. Max: What? Liz: Maria and I'll stay here and just let them catch us. Max: Liz, no. Liz: No, Max, it's all right. We'll just say that we got lost in the woods. This is too important. Keep going. Max: Are you sure? Liz: Yeah. The important thing is you just find what you're looking for. Max: I will. Liz: All right. Go. Isabel, go. Go! Liz & Maria: We're here! We're over here! Help! Come find us! Help us! We're over here! We're here! We're right here. Maria: My mom's gonna love this, really. (River Dog and Michael are also searching through the woods) River Dog: Just over there. (River Dog falls and grimaces in pain) Michael: Hey, are you all right? River Dog: Gimme your hand. Michael: Here. River Dog: Whoa! Michael: What, what, what, what, what? River Dog: I...I think I broke my ankle. It's...it's about a mile north of here. You keep going. Ah... Michael: Why don't you fix it? River Dog: What? Michael: Your ankle. River Dog: What are you talkin' about? Michael: Why don't you tell me the truth? River Dog: The truth about what? Michael: About who you are. River Dog: You think I'm Nasedo. Michael: You knew everything about us. You knew what was wrong with me when I was sick, and you knew exactly how to fix it. How did you know all those things? And why would you wanna help us if you weren't... River Dog: I'm sorry, Michael...but I'm not your father. Michael: Just had to make sure. (Michael heals River Dog's ankle) Michael: You can walk now. River Dog: Thank you. Now we're even. Michael: I don't think we'll ever be even. Michael: Better go. Let's go. (Liz and Maria meet up with Mr. Parker again) Jeff: You two scared me to death. Liz: Dad, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Maria: I am so sorry, Mr. Parker. I had to go to the bathroom, and I couldn't handle the pit toilet, so I asked Liz to come with me, and next thing you know... Jeff: It's ok. I'm just so glad you guys are all right. Phillip: Officer, uh, you didn't find anyone else? Deputy: Only that guy over there. Milton: I'm a scientist! Deputy: Found him wandering around the woods with a metal detector...looking for space ships. Milton: You're making a big mistake, friend! You're all in grave danger! Phillip: I'm missing my kids. Max and Isabel. Deputy: No, sir. Sorry. Max: We're here. It's the cave. (Valenti is spying on Max and Isabel when Kyle sneaks up on him from behind) Sheriff: Kyle, what the hell are you doing here? Kyle: Just wanted to see what was more important than me. Sheriff: You don't understand. Kyle: No, I don't. I don't understand why you're hunting Max Evans, why you can't just tell me. (River Dog and Michael enter a small clearing and find Max and Isabel there as well) River Dog: Wait, what are they doing here? Michael: They came on their own. River Dog: All right. This is where it'll be. Max: What are we looking for? (Kyle and his father have a brief argument deep in the woods) Sheriff: Kyle, you get the hell outta here right now. Kyle: How many times have I heard the stories, dad? How many times you sitting at home listening to grandma cry while grandpa spent the night chasing spacemen out in the woods? That's my role now, isn't it? It's ironic. Sheriff: Kyle, wait. Kyle: Now I know why you never wanted to see grandpa again. Because to him you were just a low priority! Isabel: Oh, my God. It's the symbol from the cave. Michael: The white light, or whatever the hell that was, caused this? River Dog: Yes. It's a sign. (Max, Isabel, Michael, and River Dog find an alien symbol burned onto the ground. They move toward it, turn off their flashlights, and hold out their palms to the symbol, causing it to light up with a light blue glow) River Dog: It was meant for you. Max: What does this mean? Michael: That he's back. Nasedo's here. Max: Someone's here. (The Sheriff enters the clearing) Michael: What do you want? Sheriff: Step outta my way. River Dog: Do as he asks. (Max uses his power to make the alien symbol disappear while Michael is blocking the Sheriff) Sheriff: Something was here. What were you looking at? Max: We've been lost for hours here. Thank you for finding us. (Max, Michael, and Isabel walk off) (Sheriff Valenti is at a retirement home, gazing into a room filled with patients) Doctor: Can I help you? Sheriff: Yeah. I'm here to see James Valenti, Sr. Doctor: And you are? Sheriff: I'm his son. Doctor: That's him. Sheriff: Dad? (We see Jim Valenti, Sr., an extremely weary-looking man who is having trouble eating some pears) Jim Sr: Damn pears are slippery. Sheriff: Dad. It's me. It's Jimmy. Been a while, huh? Jim Sr: A long time. Sheriff: Yeah. Maybe you were right. Maybe you were right all along. And I'm sorry. I can help you with those. Here. (Scene fades out with Sheriff Valenti feeding his father at the retirement home)

Max uses his powers to save his adopted mother from a fire, forcing him and Isabel to consider telling their mother about their true origins.

fd_NCIS_02x09

fd_NCIS_02x09_0

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT (WOMAN SCREAMS ON T.V.) LAURA ROWANS: Keep screaming, honey. That way the monster will never find you. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT (SFX: REFRIGERATOR DOOR OPENS) (SFX: GLASS CRASHES TO THE FLOOR) JEREMY: Boo! (SFX: LAURA SCREAMING) (LAURA RUNS FROM THE KITCHEN TO THE LIVING ROOM) JEREMY: Shh! Shh! We don't want to wake the neighbors now, do we? No rough stuff yet. This is gonna be good. Whoa. Hey! Easy now. Easy. Easy. Please don't...! (SFX: GUNSHOTS B.G.) (SFX: JEREMY COUGHS) (CUT TO BLACK) (THEME MUSIC UP OVER OPENING TITLE/ SCENES/ CREDITS AND OUT) MUSIC IN: EXT. BASE HOUSING STREET - DAY GIBBS: Break out the gear. I'll coordinate with the MPs. You drink that, DiNozzo, you're dead. TONY: Just my luck. One more hour and we'd have been off duty. KATE: Got big plans today, Tony? TONY: Well, it is Saturday, Kate. What do you think? KATE: Oh, you have a date with a girl who can't spell her last name? First name? TONY: Oh, I... no, I was supposed to volunteer at the Eighth Street soup kitchen today. KATE: You help feed the homeless? TONY: Don't be so surprised. KATE: Sorry, I just never pictured you as the volunteer type. TONY: Yeah? There's a lot about me you don't know, Kate. KATE: You're right. I'm actually impressed for once. TONY: Coffee, Probie? It looks like you can use it. MCGEE: Oh, thanks, Tony. TONY: Don't mention it. MCGEE: You know, I think he's finally starting to warm up to me. He even invited me to a party this afternoon. KATE: Good -- Where? MCGEE: It's a soup kitchen in D.C. A bunch of Playboy centerfolds are hosting a fundraiser there. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY HEGARTY: Seems pretty open and shut. Perp broke in and tried to rape her. She shot him. Guy's in critical conditional at the base hospital. I have a Marine standing guard. GIBBS: You ID him yet, Sergeant? HEGARTY: No, and he's not exactly in talking shape either, Sir. TONY: With this much blood loss, guy's lucky to be alive. GIBBS: Where's Mrs. Rowans? HEGARTY: With the neighbor next door. GIBBS: I'll need a statement. HEGARTY: (INTO RADIO) This is Sergeant Hegarty. Bring Mrs. Rowans home. I'll meet you out front. GIBBS: Where is the weapon? HEGARTY: It's over here on the other side of the couch. GIBBS: Did you touch it? HEGARTY: Hell no, Sir. I did get the serial number though. It's registered with the Provost Marshal under her husband's name, Major David Rowans. He's deployed in Iraq. Been gone for over five months. KATE: We checked the exterior of the house, Gibbs. No sign of a forced entry. HEGARTY: They tend to leave their doors unlocked. KATE: "They", Sergeant? HEGARTY: Well, this is a military base, Ma'am. The women expect a certain level of security in their own homes. I suspect that'll change after today. GIBBS: Kate, DiNozzo, I want you to head over to the base hospital. I want this dirtbag's personal effects and his prints. KATE: Yeah. GIBBS: You enjoying that coffee, McGee? MCGEE: Uh... yeah? GIBBS: It's not too hot? MCGEE: (LONG BEAT) It's your coffee. I'm sorry, boss. I'll get you another one. (TO TONY) Thanks. KATE: Maybe next time you should remember Rule Twenty-three. TONY: Is that the one about not marrying a woman who eats more than you do? HEGARTY: Never mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live, Agent DiNozzo. TONY: That's right. Dead man walking. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. KITCHEN - DAY (SFX: EMAIL CHIME) LAURA ROWANS: (V.O.) Let me guess. You take it black, Agent Gibbs. Marines always do. (ON CAMERA) What about you, Agent McGee? Cream and sugar? MCGEE: Uh... you know, I still have to take some photos outside so maybe later. But thank you. LAURA ROWANS: Is he old enough to be an NCIS Agent? GIBBS: I ask myself that everyday. Thanks. LAURA ROWANS: Oh, sorry. This place is such a mess. I wasn't expecting any company. Am I in trouble, Agent Gibbs? GIBBS: You do what you had to do, Mrs. Rowans. LAURA ROWANS: Please, call me Laura. GIBBS: I just have a few questions I need to ask you, Laura. LAURA ROWANS: Is he going to die? GIBBS: Maybe. LAURA ROWANS: I just wanted him to go away. I didn't want to kill him. GIBBS: Did you know him? LAURA ROWANS: I never saw him before in my life. GIBBS: Any idea how he got in? LAURA ROWANS: I usually leave the back door unlocked when I'm downstairs. My... husband doesn't like me to smoke inside the house. GIBBS: Is he the one who taught you how to shoot? LAURA ROWANS: Yeah. GIBBS: He's a smart guy. How long have you two been married? LAURA ROWANS: Civilian time? Four years. Marine time is more like two. He's been away a lot. GIBBS: It must get lonely. LAURA ROWANS: Um... we don't have kids so I don't really fit in with the wives on base. I manage I guess. GIBBS: You have a place to stay tonight? LAURA ROWANS: My mom lives in Maryland. Is it okay if I go there? GIBBS: Mm-hmm. Just make sure we have her number. If you uh... if you think of anything or if you want to talk, you can give me a call or you could e-mail me. Night or day. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - DAY KATE: I hate hospitals. TONY: Maybe we'll get lucky and he's already dead. KATE: Hi. I'm Special Agent Todd. TONY: Tony DiNozzo, NCIS. This is Special Agent Todd. I'd love to ask you a few questions, say over lunch, Lieutenant...? KIM: Ah Kim. And this is my engagement ring, Agent DiNozzo. I brought my lunch. How can I help you? TONY: What can you tell us about the gunshot victim brought in last night? KIM: I already told the MPs everything I know. KATE: We're not MPs. What kind of shape is he in? KIM: Mmm... stable for the moment. KATE: Well, we'll need to talk to him. KIM: You'll have to come back tomorrow. He's in ICU. KATE: He might be dead tomorrow and we need answers now, Lieutenant. KIM: He's not conscious and he won't be until tomorrow, Agent Todd. TONY: What about his personal effects? KIM: Right here. We had to cut off most of his clothing. KATE: We'll need to get his prints before we go. KIM: That will also have to wait until... KATE: Tomorrow? Right. Lieutenant, this man tried to rape someone. So I... TONY: (OVERLAP) We'll come back. Agent Todd, make sure the M.P. guarding him doesn't screw up the DD-nine-three-two-A-six form the way he did last time. He does and it's your ass. We clear? KATE: Crystal. TONY: Crystal... what? KATE: Sir. TONY: Better. Now get moving, I don't have all day. KIM: Your M.P.'s outside Room one-oh-seven.(KATE WALKS O.S.) TONY: So wait. So what were you saying before about not being married? Or you're almost married, thinking about it, on a fence. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. ROWANS RESIDENCE - DAY MCGEE: Every road with access into Quantico is blocked by armed gate guards. There's Marines everywhere. So why would a rapist choose a victim here? HEGARTY: Maybe he's got a death wish, Agent McGee. MCGEE: There's easier ways to die. It doesn't make sense. HEGARTY: You about done here, Sir? GIBBS: Yeah. How about it, Sergeant? Just one thing. How'd that dirtbag get on base? HEGARTY: I've been asking myself that same question, Agent Gibbs. GIBBS: I want you and your Marines to check every car within a five mile radius of Laura Rowans' house. HEGARTY: For what specifically? GIBBS: Make sure their military decals are current and they match up with the plates on the car. HEGARTY: You got it. GIBBS: Whoa. Any cars don't check out, you call me, okay? BOY TWO: (V.O.) Hey man, throw it! (GIBBS THROWS THE FOOTBALL) BOY ONE: Whoa! BOY TWO: Oh yeah! MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY (VOICE OVER P.A. B.G.) (ACTION CONTINUES: KATE TAKES FINGERPRINTS AND PHOTOS) JEREMY: It was... was a game. Laura invited me over... I thought she loved me. (CUT TO BLACK) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY KATE: According to our rapist, he was invited over by Laura Rowans. TONY: Oh! What was that little tip that I picked up as a cop in Baltimore? Right. Oh yeah, rapists are liars, Kate. MCGEE: I don't think we should rule out anything, Tony. TONY: Oh, really? Do you now, Probie? MCGEE: All we have is Mrs. Rowans' word for what happened last night. TONY: So do you want to drag her in here and accuse her of attempted murder, McGee? MCGEE: No, I didn't say that. TONY: No, let's do it. It's not like she hasn't been through enough crap already. MCGEE: Well, you would know, you're the master at giving it. TONY: Watch your lip, Probie. KATE: Hey! TONY: Your quivering lip! KATE: (SHOUTS) Hey! God, I swear the two of you are worse than my brothers, and they're practically psychotic. We have to I.D. this guy. If we find a connection between the two of them, we bring Laura Rowans in for questioning. Agreed? GIBBS: His name's Jeremy Davison. Sergeant Hegarty found his car parked outside the Quantico rear gate. Keys, wallet, I.D. all inside. Run his phone records, see if he ever communicated with Mrs. Rowans. TONY: I am on it. GIBBS: McGee. MCGEE: Yeah, boss? GIBBS: Get me a search warrant for that address. MCGEE: On it. GIBBS: Hey Kate. Your brothers are really like that? KATE: Sadly, yes. GIBBS: Huh. That explains a lot. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LAB - DAY ABBY: Jeremy Davison has no criminal record, Gibbs. He's a civilian, no ties to the military, his prints don't match any open case files. The boy doesn't even have a speeding ticket. And we're talking cleaner than clean, whiter than white. If you put him in a line up with snow, snow is going to jail. GIBBS: Or it just means he's never been caught. ABBY: Or it just means he was never caught. GIBBS: I want you to run the DNA of his blood. Cross reference it with every database you can think of. ABBY: Well, considering there's no centralized DNA depository, that could take months and months and months and months and months. GIBBS: Uh-huh. Then you'd better get started. ABBY: You think he did it? GIBBS: Kind of depends on your definition of "it." ABBY: Spoken like a true politician, Gibbs! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY TONY: Still going through his phone records, boss. Nothing so far to or from Quantico. GIBBS: Home and office? TONY: And cell. MCGEE: I've got the warrant for his apartment. It's in Alexandria. GIBBS: Keys. TONY: I'll get the sedan. GIBBS: No, you stay with the phone records. McGee, I want everything there is on Davison by the time I get back. Kate! Come on. You're with me. Let's go. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. APARTMENT - DAY (DOOR OPENS) GIBBS: Clear. (DOOR CLOSES) GIBBS: Clear. KATE: This is sort of how I always pictured Tony's place. GIBBS: Yeah, except DiNozzo has better furniture. All right, let's find out who this guy really is. KATE: You might want to come take a look at this, Gibbs. She had to have sent him that. GIBBS: Yeah. How do you figure that? KATE: Well, let's just say theoretically I had a picture like this. I... I wouldn't be handing them out on a street corner. GIBBS: Yeah, well, okay, since we're being theoretical what about if the guy happens to work in a photo shop? KATE: Here's an email from Laura Rowans to Davison. (READS) The thought of us possibly meeting nice guys is both exhilarating and terrifying. On one hand I can imagine you throwing me down... whoa! GIBBS: Whoa what? KATE: Whoa. It's pretty specific. Gibbs? GIBBS: Yeah. KATE: Uh... by specific I mean explicit... in the truest most pornographic sense of the word. GIBBS: Yeah, I'd say that's specific, Kate. Bag it. (DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES) MICHELLE: Jeremy? GIBBS: Not here. MICHELLE: Who the hell are you?! GIBBS: Special Agent Gibbs and Todd. NCIS. MICHELLE: NCI what? KATE: We're Federal agents executing a search warrant. Who are you? MICHELLE: Michelle. Michelle Davison. Jeremy's sister. Is he okay? GIBBS: Your brother was shot last night breaking into a home on a Marine base. He's in critical condition. MICHELLE: Oh, my god! I knew it. I knew something like this was going to happen. KATE: Something like what? MICHELLE: He went on a date last night with some girl he met on the internet. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. NCIS LAB - DAY ABBY: Ooh, is it my birthday? GIBBS: Yeah. You see a bow on top? KATE: We think Laura Rowans was having an online affair with Jeremy Davison. ABBY: Really. I could have told her internet romances never work out. TONY: They all end in attempted murder, Abby? ABBY: Only the really hot ones, Tony. GIBBS: I want proof it's true before I drag Mrs. Rowans in here. ABBY: Is this Davison's computer? GIBBS: Yep. ABBY: Well, if I'm going to find something conclusive, Gibbs, I'm going to have to have the lady's as well. GIBBS: McGee's on his way with it. ABBY: Then we're in business. When do you need it by? GIBBS: Now. TONY: Wow, Laura Rowan wrote these? KATE: Allegedly. TONY: Okay, Abby, I'll of course need copies of all of them, all right? What? ABBY: Hey, McGee. You ready to plunge into the seedy side of the internet with me? MCGEE: I thought we agreed never to discuss that at work. ABBY: McGee, I'm talking about the case. MCGEE: Right, the case. KATE: Okay, we'll leave the two of you alone. But Gibbs, won't so I'd get busy. DiNozzo! TONY: I'm investigating here. These letters speak to the suspect's state of mind. KATE: I've read them, and they're all pretty much the same. TONY: Well, I've only read two and if you think they're all the same, then we definitely need to talk, Kate. KATE: Well, twelve years of Catholic school says that ain't ever gonna happen. TONY: Do you still have the pleated skirt? ABBY: Get that. MCGEE: Yeah. So uh... what's going on? Gibbs just said to bring Laura Rowans' computer. He didn't say why. ABBY: We've got a cyber s*x attempted murder kill thing going on, McGee. MCGEE: Really? ABBY: Cool, huh? MCGEE: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - NIGHT TONY: Come on. KATE: Let's say Laura did invite Davison back to her house. TONY: Thank you. KATE: What would she gain from shooting him? TONY: Maybe he was blackmailing her. GIBBS: DiNozzo, he was lying on the floor with two bullets in him. She could have finished him off. Instead she dialed nine one one. KATE: Did she get cold feet? GIBBS: Or Davison decided to surprise her. Take it to the next step from fantasy to reality. KATE: Well, if they only communicated online, there is a possibility that she didn't even know what he looked like. TONY: So you're saying the whole thing might have been an accident? GIBBS: I don't believe in accidents. KATE: Or Davison could be your garden variety psycho. He latched on to Laura and he didn't want to let go. GIBBS: We're missing something here. MCGEE: And I think we found it, Boss. ABBY: Laura Rowans and Jeremy Davison were definitely in contact. MCGEE: We traced her email exchange back to the day they met online. ABBY: Four months ago on a little website called The Scarlet Secret. This is their homepage. TONY: I've got to get one of these. KATE: DiNozzo. TONY: I'm talking about the plasma screen, Kate. GIBBS: What is this? ABBY: Well, you know Friendster? Real people make webpages with personal profiles to connect to their friends online. MCGEE: And their friends lead to their friends and so on and so on. ABBY: Um... okay. Do you know what friends are, right? GIBBS: Abby. ABBY: Well, it's kind of like that only it's explicitly for s*x. Male female preferences. Fetishes. And you follow the chain of pages and it should lead to somewhat anonymous cybersex or a real face-to-face meeting if you want. KATE: You're a member? MCGEE: No. No, she just created the page to look online. ABBY: I did a little trial and error with Laura Rowans' screen name, Home Alone three two five, and Jeremy Davison's Nice Guy six five three. Care to guess which fetish they have in common, Kate? KATE: Mm. No, no. I'm going to hell just listening to all of this. ABBY: Rape fantasies. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY KATE: What kind of a woman is into rape fantasies? MCGEE: Actually, it's not that uncommon, Kate. KATE: Actually, it's sick and disturbing, McGee. TONY: I dated a girl once who used to wear my police uniform and make me call her Detective Sipowicz. KATE: What the hell's wrong with you? TONY: It wasn't my idea. Well, the police uniform part was. MCGEE: So how long's Gibbs going to make her sit there? TONY: It's called brewing, Probie. She's scared, nervous, imagining the worst. You've got to give it time to percolate. (DOOR CLOSES) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY LAURA: What's going on, Agent Gibbs? I thought you said I wasn't in any trouble. GIBBS: What makes you think you're in trouble? LAURA: I'm in an interrogation room. Did the man die? GIBBS: You mean Jeremy Davison? LAURA: Is that his name? GIBBS: One of them. He's still alive. Though you might know him better as Nice Guy six five three. LAURA: I have no idea what you're talking about. GIBBS: No? LAURA: Where did you get that? GIBBS: Off of Jeremy Davison's computer. LAURA: I... I don't understand. How? GIBBS: You sent it to him. LAURA: No, I sent this to my husband in Iraq. I told you I never saw that man before in my life! How could I send this to him!? GIBBS: You spend a lot of time on the internet... [SCENE_BREAK] INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY GIBBS: ... Mrs. Rowans. LAURA: Why? What does that have to do with anything? GIBBS: It's an observation. Not a question. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY LAURA: Oh, my god. Do you think I wrote this? GIBBS: Tell me about The Scarlet Secret website. LAURA: Uh... GIBBS: Where discriminating adults go to play. Ring any bells? LAURA: It's not like that. GIBBS: You and Jeremy decided to have a little cyber fling. One of you decided to take it to the next level. I want to know which one. LAURA: I never cheated on my husband. I wouldn't. I... it was just supposed to be a game. GIBBS: Does this feel like a game, Mrs. Rowans? LAURA: Um...I uh... I... fooled around a couple times online, but I never gave anyone my name or my picture. It was harmless! It was just a fantasy! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY GIBBS: This is sounding like attempted murder! (DOOR OPENS) ABBY: I have to talk to Gibbs. MCGEE: Uh... you're going to have to wait because the last time I disturbed him in interrogation was the last time. ABBY: No, McGee, this is an emergency. We screwed up big time. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY GIBBS: This is a copy of the email you sent Jeremy inviting him to your house Friday night. LAURA: I did not write that. I never talked to anyone named Mister Nice Guy. Agent Gibbs, I swear to you! GIBBS: We have your computer. You two were exchanging emails for months. KATE: (V.O./SPEAKER) Uh... Agent Gibbs, we need a word with you. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY GIBBS: What?! KATE: Abby has something to tell you. ABBY: I was digging deeper into Laura Rowans' clusters, mostly the slack space. And the log file alignment - it was off. Not much, but enough. So I imaged the sectors and I found trace elements of vary -- GIBBS: English! ABBY: She's telling the truth, Gibbs. She didn't write those emails. GIBBS: Who did? ABBY: I don't know. I'm sorry. (MUSIC OUT) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY TONY: So she was set up? MCGEE: It's more like Jeremy Davison was set up. His computer wasn't tampered with. He thought he was communicating with Mrs. Rowans the entire time. KATE: And the reason for luring him onto a Marine base to rape a Marine wife? TONY: Well, closest thing to a death sentence I can think of. GIBBS: Abby's lab now. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LAB - DAY ABBY: No dice, Gibbs. The hacker left no back trace on Laura Rowans' machine. MCGEE: But we can tell when he created the email trail. The files overwritten on her computer show that it happened right around the time she shot Jeremy Davison. ABBY: Like I said this guy's good. GIBBS: The guy's a dirtbag, Abby. I want him. MCGEE: Well, unfortunately we can't find him from here. We need access to The Scarlet Secret web servers. ABBY: And a warrant will take months. They have a rep for legally fighting any attempt to breach the privacy of their members. TONY: Can't you hack them? ABBY: It won't work, Tony. We need core-level access with full admin privileges to track this guy. MCGEE: Which means we'd have to be on the inside to do it. GIBBS: Find another way. KATE: Abby, can you pull up the home page for The Scarlet Secret? ABBY: Really? KATE: I thought I saw something that we could use. Okay, at the bottom here. Can you click on employment opportunities? MCGEE: Can we get a job there? KATE: Abby, click computer programming. MCGEE: (READS) We're looking for a computer programmer with experience in network protocols, IDS, firewalls, and ultra high speed network capabilities. Excellent communication skills, a professional attitude, and the desire to be challenged everyday is required. Bachelor degree's preferred. Must be able to start immediately. ABBY: Way to go, Kate. MCGEE: Oh, finally I get to do some undercover work. TONY: Yeah, that's not going to work. Probie's got cop written all over his face. I, on the other hand... KATE: He does have experience with cyber s*x. GIBBS: Yeah, is that true, DiNozzo? TONY: I think what Kate meant to say was that I met a very nice girl online once. GIBBS: Yeah? What was her name? TONY: Her name's not that important. Hotjuggs twenty four, but I think she meant it as a metaphor. MCGEE: Boss, Tony could never pass as a computer programmer. KATE: So McGee goes. GIBBS: No. Not McGee. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. THE SCARLET SECRET OFFICE VOICE: You make me really horny, baby. (MUSIC OVER ACTION/CAMERA PANS AROUND THE OFFICE) DEVON KANE: Well, you're certainly qualified and from the look of things, you'll fit right in around here. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC ROOM - DAY DEVON KANE: (ON MONITOR) So uh... what do you think, Ms. Gibbs? ABBY: (ON MONITOR) Um... I...say... [SCENE_BREAK] INT. THE SCARLET SECRET - DAY ABBY: When can I start, Mister Kane? DEVON KANE: You can call me Devon. ABBY: Right, Devon. OLDER WOMAN: (INTO PHONE) What am I wearing? How do you like fishnets, baby? DEVON KANE: You can start today. I have a question for you, though. Have you thought about modeling yourself? ABBY: Oh, I prefer the computer programming side of the business, Devon. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC ROOM - DAY DEVON KANE: (ON MONITOR) Okay, well uh... should you change your mind we do offer naked tech support to a very select clientele. And uh... [SCENE_BREAK] INT. THE SCARLET SECRET - DAY DEVON KANE: ... The pay's double. ABBY: That's very thoughtful. But um... I'll pass. DEVON KANE: Okay, great. Well, here's your work station. And um... I think that's it so... welcome to Scarlet Secrets. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC ROOM - DAY GIBBS: Good work, Abby. (TO TONY) Go. Get Jeremy Davison's statement. I want the name of anybody he's had an altercation with in the past five years. TONY AND KATE: (IN UNISON) You got it. KATE: (ON MONITOR) I'm in, Gibbs. Is McGee there? MCGEE: Here, Abs. KATE: (ON MONITOR) Hi, McGee. MCGEE: Hey. Okay, open port six one eight on their firewall and I'll join you. KATE: (ON MONITOR) Done and done. MCGEE: Connected. GIBBS: How long is this going to take? MCGEE: Uh... there's a number of different variables. Code complexity, accuracy of the logs, the software... GIBBS: You've got one hour. MCGEE: Or one hour. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY JEREMY: S-So if it wasn't Laura I was talking to, w-who was it? KATE: Well that's what we're trying to find out, Mister Davison. JEREMY: No, I don't believe it. We talked about everything and it wasn't just about s*x. S-She loved me. I-It can't be. TONY: At this point we're not even sure if she is a she. JEREMY: We exchanged hundreds of emails. Why would someone do that? KATE: You tell us. TONY: Is anyone holding a grudge against you, Mister Davison? KATE: Anyone who might know their way around a computer? JEREMY: No, I don't socialize much offline. I kind of s-stutter when I'm nervous. KATE: What about online? JEREMY: I said no! Maybe... maybe she didn't recognize me. Maybe it was just a mistake. I-If I talk to her, we... TONY: She's never even heard of you, Jeremy. Whoever you were talking to wasn't Laura Rowans. JEREMY: (CRIES) So none of it was real? The whole thing was just some s-s-sick joke? MICHELLE: Jeremy! Oh, God! Are you okay? Is this really necessary, Agent Todd? KATE: Not anymore. If you remember anything, Jeremy, anything that you think might help us... please call me. MICHELLE: It's going to be all right now, okay? It's going to be all right. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. THE SCARLET SECRET - DAY ABBY: I got him. It's custom code. It matches the stuff on Laura's computer. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY ABBY: (ON MONITOR) He's got hooks all over the system. MCGEE: I'm on it. Okay, he's using a router out of Fairfax. Tracing it back now. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. THE SCARLET SECRET ABBY: Interesting. He left his name in an encrypted file. Zed Death Six. The guy's arrogant. He likes to sign his work. (TO GEEK) What? I talk to myself. You got a problem with that? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY (DOOR OPENS) MCGEE: Got him! Name's Victor Grotinski. He's in Woodbridge, Virginia, off Davis Ford Road. Fifteen miles from Quantico. GIBBS: That's a good job, McGee. You get Abby back here. Coffee's for you. DiNozzo! TONY: Yeah, boss. GIBBS: Meet me at this address. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. BUILDING - DAY (SFX: CAR BRAKES TO A STOP) (MUSIC OVER ACTION/ ALL MOVE TOWARD THE BUILDING) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. BUILDING - DAY (SFX: DOOR BURSTS OPEN) (MUSIC OVER ACTION/GIBBS/ KATE AND TONY MOVE DOWN THE STAIRS TO THE BASEMENT) GIBBS: (SHOUTS) NCIS! Federal agents! TONY: We have a warrant for your address! GIBBS: (SHOUTS) Hands in the air! TONY: Now! (TONY/ KATE AND GIBBS MOVE TOWARD THE BODY) TONY: That is... that is just nasty. KATE: Oh my god. (CUT TO BLACK) [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. BUILDING - DAY (MUSIC OVER ACTION/ JIMMY WHEELS THE GURNEY FROM THE TRUCK) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. BASEMENT - DAY GIBBS: You see anything interesting, Duck? DUCKY: Well, they say the eyes are the window to the soul. GIBBS: Yeah? Did they say anything about when he died? DUCKY: Perhaps. Have you found them yet? GIBBS: Nope. DUCKY: They took the optic nerve. Time of death... about eighteen hours ago. TONY: What do you think this is? MCGEE: He was slaving old systems together. He was jury-rigging his own super computer. TONY: I'm talking about this. MCGEE: Some kind of solvent? TONY: I don't think so. KATE: Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you. TONY: You know what this is? (GURNEY BANGS DOWN THE STAIRCASE) TONY: Hey! JIMMY: Hi, guys. KATE: No, I don't. But considering there's no bathroom in this apartment... TONY: Uh... Probie, bag that. And why don't you check out those suspicious looking containers while you're at it. MCGEE: Oh. I think I'll throw up now. GIBBS: DiNozzo, find out what this operates. TONY: You got it. GIBBS: Kate, what do you think about Oedipus here? KATE: There's no obvious defensive wounds. Knew his attacker. GIBBS: Or he was surprised. Why take his eyes? KATE: Some kind of a message. DUCKY: Or a warning, Kate. Several South American tribes were known to ritualistically pluck the eyes of their enemies to discourage them being followed. Of course, they were cannibals so they did-- GIBBS: I don't think we're dealing with cannibals here, Duck. DUCKY: No, I should think not. We're not this far north. TONY: Kate, could you come here for a second? I need your help with something. (PASSAGE OF TIME) KATE: I had to wear a skirt today. TONY: Did you say something? KATE: You know, you realize what would happen if I dropped this knife, Tony? TONY: Yeah. I'm still deciding whether it's worth it or not. KATE: Now why would somebody hide a camcorder in a vent? TONY: You're kidding, right? Oh. You know, when this is over we really need to talk, Kate. You scare me. (SFX: MOANING ON TAPE) KATE: Eww! TONY: Oh. Eww! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. NCIS LAB - DAY ABBY: Well, he certainly isn't going to win any awards for cinematography. And it didn't help that he was shooting in almost no light. Okay, here's where it gets interesting.(SFX: MOANING ON TAPE) (SFX: MOANING ON TAPE B.G.) ABBY: She's a black widow. She killed him right after... that special moment. GIBBS: Any close-ups of her face? ABBY: One glimpse, but I mean it's a glimpse. It's digital, so I might be able to pull up more information. I'll do my best to pull up more information. I will pull out more information! GIBBS: Hey McGee. MCGEE: Yeah? GIBBS: I need to know who hired Grotinski to create the e-mail trail between Rowans and Davison. MCGEE: Well there's about a hundred and fifty gigabytes data on several hard drives. GIBBS: Only a hundred and fifty? Hell, that shouldn't take much time at all. (GIBBS WALKS O.S.) MCGEE: He has no idea what a gigabyte is, does he, Abby? ABBY: I don't even think he knows what a hard drive is, McGee. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY TONY: I mean, the policy they have at that beach isn't strictly nudist. WOMAN: Mm-hmm. TONY: It's more of like a... it's optional. WOMAN: Uh-huh. Yeah. TONY: Ooh! You changed. KATE: We're dealing with a sociopath here, Tony. TONY: Yeah, the missing eye part would be the dead giveaway, Kate. KATE: Who likes to manipulate people. The question is why Jeremy Davison and Laura Rowans? TONY: Two lonely people pouring their hearts out into cyberspace? KATE: Instead they find a psycho lurking on the Scarlet Secret website? TONY: Works for me. GIBBS: Not me. We're being played. KATE: By who, Gibbs? GIBBS: Kate, Grotinski was murdered by the woman on the tape. KATE: She hired him? GIBBS: I don't know yet.(SFX: DIAL TONE) TONY: We should bring Laura Rowans back for questioning. GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Yeah Gibbs. On our way. (TO ALL) Let's go! Ducky's got something. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. NCIS AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY DUCKY: To Abby please, Mister Palmer. JIMMY: Sure thing, Doctor. Uh... what is it exactly? DUCKY: Our young man was killed during coitus. That may be our black widow's DNA. You know, the Romans considered dying during the act of love to be a great honor, Mister Grotinski. GIBBS: Yeah? What would they think about videotaping it? DUCKY: From some of the murals I've seen in Pompeii, I think they'd rather enjoy it. TONY: That's an Italian thing, Ducky. We're passionate people, it runs in our... blood. KATE: The only thing running in your blood, Tony, is cholesterol. And possibly Chlamydia. TONY: It's curable. GIBBS: What have we got, Duck? DUCKY: Well, I sent some fluids up to Abby. The DNA may be our killer's. But what really interests me is the manner in which his throat was cut. The knife was inserted into the side of the neck and then ripped forward, severing both the arteries and the windpipe. Very professional. GIBBS: Yeah, and very familiar. Thanks, Duck. You track down Laura Rowans. Tell her we need to talk. TONY: Duck? DUCKY: Oh, it's the technique Marines are taught to kill enemy sentries. KATE: Her hubby taught her how to do a lot more than just shoot. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. NCIS LAB - DAY ABBY: I'm picking up some highlights on the baseball cap. GIBBS: No, that's not good enough. I need a face. How much longer, Abby? ABBY: Maybe an hour to filter. GIBBS: What about the fluid Ducky sent up? ABBY: I've isolated several female cells. I'm sequencing the DNA now. Like ten hours. MCGEE: You think that's Laura Rowans, Boss? GIBBS: Well, considering I've seen better pictures of a UFO, you tell me, McGee. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY KATE: (INTO PHONE) Check her home, if she's there, hold her, Sergeant. TONY: I talked to Laura's mother, Boss. She claims she hasn't seen her since yesterday and she's not answering her cell. KATE: She's not answering at home either. I have Sergeant Hegarty heading over there. GIBBS: You try the hospital? TONY: No, but if she's at the eyeball plucking stage? KATE: She might take another shot at Jeremy. GIBBS: We're going to Quantico. Let's roll. (SFX: PHONE RINGS) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. NURSES' STATION - DAY (BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) KIM: (INTO PHONE) I.C.U., Lieutenant Kim. TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) Hi, it's Tony. KIM: (INTO PHONE) Tony! I was hoping you'd call. TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) What's Jeremy Davison's condition? KIM: (INTO PHONE) Uh... resting comfortably. What's up? (SCENE CUT) TONY: (INTO PHONE) All right. If anyone comes to visit him, tell them he's been transferred to another hospital. (SCENE CUT) KIM: (INTO PHONE) Is there a problem, Tony? TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) No. No problem, Pam. (SCENE CUT) TONY: (INTO PHONE) We'll be on base in about fifteen minutes. Make that ten. KATE: Are you going to tell us what's up, Gibbs?(SFX: CELL PHONE RINGS) GIBBS: My gut. KATE: (INTO PHONE) Agent Todd. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. KITCHEN - DAY HEGARTY: (INTO PHONE) We've got a serious situation here, Ma'am. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. CAR - DAY HEGARTY: (V.O./FILTERED) Hands in the air! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. KITCHEN - DAY HEGARTY: Now!(LAURA DROPS THE BAG OF GROCERIES) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. CAR - MOVING KATE: Sergeant Hegarty has Laura Rowans in custody, Gibbs, and he also found Grotinski's eyes in her kitchen. TONY: She hired him to make it look like a third party set them both up? KATE: Yep, it's not a bad plan, it almost worked. GIBBS: Almost. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. NCIS LAB - DAY MCGEE: Mrs. Rowans didn't seem like the murdering type to me. ABBY: The smart ones never do. (SFX: RAPID BEEP TONES) MCGEE: I thought you told Gibbs the DNA would take ten hours. ABBY: I did. This doesn't make any sense. I didn't even send it... oh, my god! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. NURSES' STATION - DAY KIM: You have ten minutes, and make sure all your cell phones are off. (KIM WALKS O.S./ DOOR CLOSES) GIBBS: You'll be moved to a civilian hospital tomorrow, Mister Davison. MICHELLE: Finally. Any idea why this woman fixated on my brother? GIBBS: I was hoping he could tell me. MICHELLE: Jeremy? JEREMY: She wasn't happy but she wouldn't leave her husband. I was going to tell him about us. TONY: Well, you're lucky. We have her on tape slashing another guys' throat. JEREMY: You... you do?(SFX: BEEP TONES ACCELERATE) KATE: The picture's damaged, but once our lab cleans it up... TONY: We should be able to positively I.D. her. KATE: She won't be bothering you again, Mister Davison. JEREMY: I... I loved her. GIBBS: Let's go. (GIBBS/ TONY AND KATE WALK O.S.) (DOOR CLOSES) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LAB - DAY ABBY: Come on. Answer! Answer! Answer! Pick up, damn it. Pick up!(SFX: PHONE RINGS B.G.) MCGEE: If they're at the hospital they probably have their phones turned off, Abby. ABBY: We're about to let a murderer go free! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY MICHELLE: We have to take off, baby. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. NCIS LAB - DAY ABBY: (INTO PHONE) I.C.U.! I need to speak to Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs now! It's a matter of life and death! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - DAY (KIM RUSHES INTO THE ROOM) (DOOR BURSTS OPENS) MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: EXT. HOSPITAL ENTRANCE - DAY MICHELLE: Those first two Navy cops were dumb but their boss wasn't. Did you see the way he was looking at me? TONY: Hey! That sound harsh to you, Kate? KATE: Very. TONY: Go for it, honey. KATE: My first round's going through your right eye socket, lady. (SFX: CELL PHONE RINGS) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, Gibbs.(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) (SCENE CUT) ABBY: (INTO PHONE) Don't you pick up your phone anymore! The DNA we ran on Jeremy Davison two days ago matches five open... (SCENE CUT) ABBY: (V.O./FILTERED) ...Investigations. He's a serial rapist and murderer. GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) We know. (SCENE CUT) ABBY: (INTO PHONE) And the woman that he's with is his accomplice. It's not his (BEAT) you know? (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) I got it covered, Abby.(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LAB - DAY ABBY: They know. (BEAT) Did you know? MCGEE: No. ABBY: If I find out that you knew, I will kill you. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY KATE: I can't believe we almost let those two walk. And Davison wasn't even their real names. Grotinski created those identities for them. TONY: Yeah, it's amazing what you can do with computers these days, Kate. MCGEE: Sure is, Tony. Hey I've got a little something you might be interested in. TONY: Who is this supposed to be? MCGEE: I tracked down your cyber babe for you. Hotjuggs Twenty-four. GIBBS: Yeah, she's a real keeper, DiNozzo. KATE: I wonder if he wears a sports bra?

A Marine's wife shoots an intruder in self defense when he enters her home during the night and is about to rape her but things change when Gibbs and the team uncover evidence suggesting that she might have lured her supposed attacker to her home under the guise of a date. When Abby discovers the wife didn't send the messages, the case becomes much stranger than they ever expected.

fd_The_Originals_02x11

fd_The_Originals_02x11_0

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Vincent/Finn: You mean you don't recognize me? Klaus: It's been a long time, Finn. Klaus: Hayley and I will return home. Elijah will remain here with you. He's been experiencing some side effects since his ordeal as our mother's captive. Hayley: You ready to do this thing? Get hitched? Jackson: It's a mystical unification ceremony. Hayley: You wolves are here because you want freedom. Marcel: My vamps and I are willing to stand with you against the witches. Finn: You're brokering a truce. Kol: Did he really just trap us all in here? Aah! Finn: Those vampires even attempt to feed, they'll find themselves unable to stop. Kol: What Davina and I can do is cast a disruption spell. It'll give us 60 seconds to escape once the boundary is shut down. Hayley: (steps forward) Okay, Jack, now! Jackson: Come on, go! Klaus: Slight change of plans, brother. Davina: (to Klaus) They'll kill him. Klaus: He should've thought about that before he betrayed our sister. Klaus: Yaah! Barrier's back up. (The vampires, realizing they can go back out in the sunlight, start to swarm around Kol) And those vampires look oh-so hungry. [SCENE_BREAK] [ ST. ANNE'S CATHOLIC CHURCH / MIKAELSON COMPOUND ] (A woman covers up all of the statues inside the church with red satin sheets. Outside, children wearing red and white run through the street carrying flags, while adults, also clad in red and white clothing, mingle on the sidewalks. A parade of parishioners march up the main street in white and red robes, some carrying their own statues covered in red sheets. Among the crowd is Klaus, who is rushing down the street while he talks to Marcel on his cell phone.) Klaus: I've searched the entire French Quarter. Finn has vanished. I can't remove the barrier that has you trapped until I have my hand around his throat. Marcel: (sighs, exhausted) I was hoping you had a "Plan B". Klaus: Davina. She doesn't know it yet, but she's going to help me break his spell. Your job... Keep Kol alive. At least until we learn Rebekah's whereabouts. (Marcel rolls up his left shirtsleeve and looks down at his forearm, where he has a large, nasty-looking werewolf bite. He winces quietly and sighs again as he flashes back to the previous day, when he was restraining one of the werewolf leaders, Jared, who ended up biting him.) Klaus (impatient): Are you listening to me? Marcel: Yeah. That all sounds fine and good, but listen... when I was getting the werewolves out, I got bit. (Klaus stops in his tracks and closes his eyes as he sighs, clearly stressed and anxious.) Klaus: I will get you my blood. I will get you out of that house, Marcellus. (Marcel nods) Whatever it takes. (The two hang up. Marcel looks over at the Mikaelson seal on one of the walls, which has a dragon eating an animal underneath the M. As he stares at it, his vision starts to blur, and the werewolf venom causes him to be transported into a flashback.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ FLASHBACK - MIKAELSON MANSION, 1916 ] (Marcel is in his Army uniform as he stares at the same golden Mikaelson seal on the wall. Suddenly, Klaus begins to shout at him.) Klaus: You are not leaving this bloody house, Marcel! (Marcel pulls out a folded letter and hands it to Klaus.) Marcel: My enlistment papers say otherwise. (Klaus takes the papers and looks at them, visibly furious.) 369th Regiment. They call them the Harlem Hellfighters. Boat leaves tomorrow. Klaus: (continues to read the papers) Is this lunacy because I forbid you to be with Rebekah? (Marcel snatches the papers from him) So, now you're going off to fight the Germans? Fine. Go. But remember, Marcel, this is your home! I am your family and, if you haven't learned that in the century since I took you in, then learn it now! Family are not just people who coddle you, who grant you your every whim. They are people who fight for you, who you fight for, and if this family endeavors to stop you from making a tragic error of the heart, then, by all means, express your discontent, but what you do not do is abandon us! (Marcel, who has been unable to look Klaus in the eye during his speech, gives him a hard look. He silently reaches down to pick up his bag and slings it over his shoulder as he starts to head for the door.) Klaus: Fine. Go! You'll be back! (He lowers his voice once Marcel has left) The prodigal son always returns home. (END FLASHBACK) [SCENE_BREAK] [ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ] (In the present day, Marcel snaps out of his flashback and pinches the bridge of his nose, clearly affected by the werewolf venom in his veins. He suddenly notices the sounds of his fellow vampires, who are groaning from hunger and who are all congregated in the courtyard, waiting for instructions. He looks down at them from the balcony, and Gia and Josh look back up at him in concern.) Marcel: Yeah, I'm home, alright. Last place I wanna be. [SCENE_BREAK] (Marcel is sitting on a couch in one of the studies downstairs, checking on his werewolf bite, and when Kol enters the room to join him, he quickly covers it up. The sound of church bells ring loudly throughout the compound) Kol: What's with the church bells? It sounds like the preamble to me own bloody funeral. Marcel: It's Carillon Eve. The locals shroud the eyes of angels so the dead can walk among us for a night without judgment. The bells wake the dead and guide them to eternal rest. (His tone becomes sarcastic) So, whether you live or die today, you can join the festivities. Kol: (laughs humorlessly) Oh, Marcel. You're gonna make certain that I live. I'm the only one that knows how to find Rebekah! Marcel: That's because you underestimate how hungry I am, and how much I'd like to appease my hungry friends right outside that door. Kol: (stretches his legs in front of him as he sits across from Marcel) And just what would Davina say about that? Because I'm not one to kiss and tell, obviously, but, uh, I think she likes me! Marcel: Watch your mouth. (He stands and gets in Kol's face) Before I drain every vein of yours myself. (Kol gives Marcel a curious look before Marcel storms out of the room and joins the vampires in the courtyard, shutting the door so that Kol stays inside the room and away from them. Suddenly, his vision starts to blur again, and everyone in the room disappears as Marcel becomes extremely woozy. The furniture changes to that of the mid-to-late 1910s, and Marcel hallucinates a familiar face: Joe Dayton, his vampire friend who was killed by the Guerreras, and who is standing in a World War I Army uniform) Marcel: (whispers) Joe? Joe: (smiles) Hey, Corporal. [SCENE_BREAK] [ FLASHBACK - SECHAULT, FRANCE, 1918 ] (Marcel, Joe, and the rest of the Harlem Hell Fighters are deep in the trenches as shots are fired in their direction. The soldiers are all covered in dirt and soot, and are quickly reloading their rifles. Joe is crouched next to Marcel, and notices his daylight ring on his right hand) Joe: You're a bit of a mystery, son. Marcel: (looks at him suspiciously) I'm just another soldier like you, brother. Joe: Yeah? Not just like me. See, I've been watching you. (Marcel continues to stare at him, not sure where the conversation is going) Yeah. Now, I see you take bullets to the gut, then next minute, I see you pulling guys into the trench like nothing ever happened. It's some mystery. With a mystery comes theories. I got two. One, you've got guardian angels patching you up every time you get shot. (Marcel cocks his gun, ready to get back in the fight) Two, you're something else all together. (Suddenly, their leader approaches them in the trench, interrupting Joe and Marcel's conversation) Major: Listen up, men! Headquarters said there aren't enough gas masks for the whole unit. Joe: (incredulous) Without masks? We're dead in hours! Major: Have you forgotten what they call us? We're the Brotherhood of the Damned, because we've been set up to fail. We can't hold fire. We're meant to starve, not stop the enemy. Marcel: (appalled) Now, hold on, Major! Our line has held longer than any line in the Western front! They call us the Brotherhood of the Damned because everyone here would rather be damned than let the enemy break this line! If you don't know that, then we need a leader who does! Major: Now, you listen here, Private... (Suddenly, the Major is hit in the head by a shell, and Marcel leaps forward to cover him from the impending gunfire) Marcel: Major! (to the rest of the unit) Get down! (As the rest of the men dive for cover, Marcel stands above them, shielding them from the blasts. The rest of the men look at him, both impressed and confused. Joe grabs Marcel by the front of the shirt and slams his back into the wall of the trench) Joe: Listen here! I don't care what you are, or how you do what you do. But, I believe you're here for a reason. (Marcel tries to walk away, but Joe pulls him back) To be the leader you just talked about. (He lets Marcel go and stands back, adjusting his battle helmet) So, what's it going to be, Marcel? (Marcel looks around to see the rest of the unit staring at him expectantly, waiting to see how he reacts. He considers his options for a moment) (END FLASHBACK) [SCENE_BREAK] [ PRESENT DAY - MIKAELSON COMPOUND ] (In the present, Gia calls out Marcel's name to snap him out of his hallucination/flashback) Gia: Marcel? Marcel! (Suddenly, Marcel snaps out of it, and realizes that all of the vampires, including Gia and Josh, are staring at him with concern) Gia: ...You alright? Marcel: Yeah. (He nods unconvincingly) Just hungry, that's all. (He leaves the courtyard. Gia shakes her head in disbelief and looks over at Josh, who appears to be worried about him) [SCENE_BREAK] [ ST. ANNE'S CATHOLIC CHURCH ] (Klaus is pacing around in front of the sacristy while Davina sets up a magical circle with runes made out of salt on the floor in front of the first row of pews) Klaus: Haven't you found Finn yet? (Davina just ignores him and continues to work on setting up for her spell) I must say, for a witch of your caliber, your spells are not particularly efficient. Davina: (sighs in frustration) Finn is blocking my locator spell. So, I'm trying something new. But, I need to concentrate, and it would help a lot if you would stop standing over me like a stalker. Klaus: No need to get testy, love. We both have the same goal. Davina: (lights a match to start lighting candles) Really? Because my goal is to get Kol out of your house alive. Which seems to be about number ten on your list. Klaus: (smirks) Number nine, at least! Davina: (exasperated) What is wrong with you? He's your brother! Klaus: Yes! And, I also have a sister, one who I happen to care about more. (Davina rolls her eyes) So, until he tells me where she is, Kol can rot, as far as I'm concerned. And, you might wanna get your villains straight, love, because Finn is the architect of this fiasco. So, pick up the pace, find out where he's getting his power from, so we can stop it! (Davina raises her eyebrows, clearly amused, before making a face and starting her spell. She holds out her hands and begins to chant the incantation) Davina: We du le mon ennemi en temps. We du le mon ennemi en temps. (As she chants, she begins to get visions of Finn, who is casting his own spell over a bowl of what looks like blood somewhere in Lafayette Cemetery. He has several objects, including a fox tail, a feather, and a deer antler. When Davina comes to, she looks extremely concerned) Davina: I saw glimpses of him. (Klaus looks at her anxiously) He's combining sacred objects. Totems. Representational magic. Klaus: Where? (Davina dives back into her visions, and gets more flashes of Finn working on his spell in one of the tombs) Davina: Lafayette No. 1. The Lyonne tomb. Klaus: And what's he using? (Davina dives in again and sees both Esther and Mikael laying desiccated in the middle of another salt circle) Davina: (shocked) He's channeling your parents! Klaus: (smiles widely) And here I thought I was the poster-child for least grateful offspring! (At the Lyonne tomb, Finn is continuing his spell, and is about to place one of the sacred objects into the bowl of blood) Well, then. Shall you and I go crash their little party? (Davina follows Klaus as he leads them out of the church. Suddenly, Finn starts to dip a wolf paw into the blood, and Klaus stops in his tracks, gasping for breath) Davina: (annoyed) Now who needs to pick up the pace? (Finn lights a smudge-stick and starts burning it over the bowl, wafting the smoke, just as Klaus suddenly loses consciousness and falls to the floor. Davina, concerned, rushes over to him to check on him) Davina: Klaus? [SCENE_BREAK] [ MIKAELSON SAFE HOUSE - ARKANSAS ] (Elijah and Cami are sitting in the living room, where Cami is trying to help him deal with the after-effects of Esther's torture) Cami: Our goal here is to confront your subconscious. An element of my thesis is on suppression of past trauma and how it can manifest in a barren and often violent behavior. Elijah: (smiles sarcastically) You know, I believe it was 1897 when a dear friend of mine - let's just call him the godfather of modern psychoanalysis - mentioned something similar to me over tea in a Viennese caf . Cami: (giggles) Are you name-dropping Freud right now? (Elijah shrugs with a smile) Okay, here's something I know that even Freud didn't. Elijah: Oh, do tell! Cami: What it feels like when someone takes away your deepest, ugliest pain without your consent. (Elijah's smile falls when he realizes what she's talking about) It is both a blessed relief and a complete violation. Sound familiar? (Elijah looks at her, clearly not liking where this is going) Good. Let's start with what you've referred to as the "red door." Elijah: (quietly) That's an image from my past. My youth. It was a door to a slaughterhouse. Sometimes it appears to me in, uh... (He gestures as he searches for the word) .. in flashes. A memory, but it's also a metaphor. It's a place where unspeakable deeds dwell in darkness. Cami: And have there been many? Elijah: (rises to his feet and begins to pace around the room) Oh, Camille, you know I'm no stranger to violence. Typically, however, I am possessed of a, uh, certain... control. (He runs his fingers across the mantel over the fireplace) However, now and then, I can be consumed with chaos. And, untethered from that control... this is where the deeds are concealed. Behind that door. Cami: Why that particular door? Elijah: This is where the first woman I ever loved told me she loved me in return. (Cami smiles) It's also where I laid her body after I took her life. (Cami's smile falls, and she looks at him sympathetically) No one knows this. Not even Niklaus. My brother loved Tatia as deeply as I did. He still believes that Mother killed her. Not only is this a lie, it's a lie of my creation. And my brother doesn't forgive. (He sighs, visibly troubled by this memory) He doesn't forget. Therefore, I think it's best that I forget for both of our sakes. (While they talk, Finn, who is still in the Lyonne tomb, takes a deer antler and places it in the bowl of blood, swishing it back and forth through the bowl's contents. Suddenly, Elijah becomes weak, and stumbles into the nearby chair) Cami: (worried) Elijah? (As Finn stirs the blood and the totem mixture, Elijah passes out onto the floor in front of Cami) Cami: (more concerned) Elijah? [SCENE_BREAK] [ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ] (Gia and Josh are standing in a hallway next to the courtyard, discussing their current predicament) Gia: What the hell is wrong with Marcel? Josh: (shakes his head) I don't know. I can't even think straight, I'm so freaking hungry. Gia: We're all hungry. (Suddenly, Kol walks down the stairs, and Josh and Gia both turn and look at him, practically salivating at the sight of him. Gia starts walking toward him as he approaches them) Kol: You come anywhere near me, and I will give you a headache that will last a century. Gia: It'll be worth it! (Kol thrusts his hand out and squeezes it into a fist, causing Gia to clutch her head and fall to her knees in agony. Josh lunges toward Kol just as Marcel hears her pained groans and rushes over to investigate) Marcel: (glares at Kol) Anyone care to explain what's going on? (He shoves Kol backward, breaking the spell. Gia gulps as she recovers from the pain he inflicted upon her) Kol: Your so-called protection detail was trying to eat me! (As he speaks, Finn picks up the fox tail and prepares to place it in the bowl of blood in the Lyonne tomb) I think I should teach them a lesson. (Kol reaches out his hand to cast another pain infliction spell on Gia and Josh, but he falls to his knees and passes out before anything can happen, falling prey to Finn's own spell. Marcel, Gia, and Josh are both extremely confused) Josh: Uhhh, what just happened? [SCENE_BREAK] [ ASTRAL PLANE - HUNT ROOM ] (Klaus, Elijah, and Kol have just awoken on the astral plane, in the middle of an old-fashioned wooden shed. Around them are the heads of various animals mounted on the walls near the low ceiling. They are all confused and worried as they take in their new surroundings) Elijah: Niklaus. Kol: (notices his brothers) You two. Elijah: (annoyed) What is this? (Kol takes notice of the heads of a deer and a fox mounted on the wall) Kol: It's a chambre de chasse. A hunt room. It's where witches bring their prey for mental target practice. Our bodies are in the real world, laying dead on the floor, whilst our minds are in here, represented by these creepy animal heads. Klaus: (not impressed) Let me take a wild guess as to who is the author of this nightmare. (He raises his voice to shout) FINN! Show yourself! (Finn enters the room through the front door. Klaus reaches out to grab him in a choke-hold, but his hand can't even come close to his throat) Finn: (calmly) Save your strength. In here... (He gestures around the room) .. I am untouchable. My magic, my rules. So, make yourselves at home. We're gonna be here for a while. [SCENE_BREAK] [ THE BAYOU ] (Aiden is meeting with Hayley and Jackson near Jackson's trailer, where he drops nearly a dozen moonlight rings into a bowl on the picnic table) Aiden: Well, that's the last of them! Everyone out here is officially ring-free Hayley: And better off. Aiden: Easy for you to say! You're a hybrid. I'm back to turning every single full moon. And, if the wolves who are loyal to Finn come back here, they're gonna rip right through us. (Hayley and Jackson look at each other, feeling guilty) So I got to ask, when's this wedding? Jackson: Ten days. After that, Hayley's power is your power. The full moon won't control you anymore. (Hayley nods in agreement) Spread the word: Any wolf who wants in needs to be here to bear witness to the wedding. Aiden: Yeah, I can do that. What are you guys gonna do? Jackson: (smiles) We're going to meet an Elder. (Hayley looks at him in confusion) We need an old-school Crescent wolf to conduct the wedding. Then, there are the trials. (Hayley looks even more alarmed) Don't worry! We say a few oaths, do some trust falls, smoke a little blue calamus root out of a peace pipe. Piece of cake! (Jackson smiles at her, but Hayley still looks nervous. Aiden notices her hesitation) Aiden: Well, good luck with that! (Aiden takes his leave, and Hayley turns to Jackson) Hayley: Any idea where we can find an Elder? Jackson: (smiles) Well, that depends! You got any interest in meeting my grandma? (Hayley good-naturedly rolls her eyes and smiles at him as they head off to find their Elder) [SCENE_BREAK] [ ST. ANNE'S CATHOLIC CHURCH ] (Klaus is still passed out on the floor, where Davina is kneeling over him, frantically slapping him hard across the face in an effort to rouse him) Davina: Wake up! (She slaps him again) Wake up (She sighs in frustration and sits down next to him on the floor) The one time I need you. (Klaus' phone starts to ring, so she pulls it out of his pocket to answer it. It's Cami, who has Hope in her arms, and who is standing over the still-unconscious Elijah at the safe house) Davina: (confused) Cami? Cami: Davina? Why are you answering Klaus' phone? Davina: (sighs) Because I can't wake him up. Cami: (alarmed What? Elijah collapsed, too. What's going on? (Davina suddenly has a dawning realization and groans) Davina: Ugh, I'm an idiot! The spell Finn used was to trap his brothers... (She sighs when she realizes the implications of this situation) Meaning Kol's in trouble. Cami: (gasps) What do we do? Davina: (overwhelmed) I have no idea. [SCENE_BREAK] [ ASTRAL PLANE - HUNT ROOM / MIKAELSON COMPOUND ] (Finn is continuing to talk to his brothers while he still has them trapped) Finn: At the very least, this prison is a bit more comfortable than the box you held me in for... almost nine hundred years? Klaus: (gestures to the walls) The heads are a nice touch. Let me guess... (He points to the wolf head hanging behind him) .. I'm the big, bad wolf? (He points to the fox head, the stag head, and the boar head in turn) Kol, the wiley fox. Elijah is the noble stag, and you, fittingly enough, are the boar! Bit obvious, as far as symbolism goes... (He turns his attention to Finn) Why are we here? Don't tell me... It's about Mother? I didn't force her to drink blood and betray everything she holds dear. That was her choice. Finn: This isn't about Mother, this is about you. I want you to know how it feels to be powerless! So, I'm going to take the thing that matters most to you: the city you've come to love so much. Elijah: Are we quite done here? You will release us now. Finn: I will! After sundown. Because at sundown, when the marchers of Carillon Eve take to the streets, my barrier spell drops. Marcel and his hungry vampires will be unleashed to kill their way through the Quarter! I imagine that, after their atrocities, the supernatural community of New Orleans will be forced to find another place to call home. Kol: Look, I don't care about the city. What I care about is that my very human body is laying at the feet of some very hungry vampires. (He points at Elijah) Your fight is with them, it's not with me! Finn: (stares Kol in the eyes) All you care about is your own fragile mortality.But, what if you were made vulnerable? What then? (Finn flicks his wrist, and Kol's body tenses up as blood starts to run from his nose. As he wipes at his nose on the astral plane, Kol's nose starts to bleed in his physical body as well. Gia and Josh, who are standing watch next to his body in the study, begin salivating at the smell of his blood. Gia's vampire face comes out as she lunges for him, but Marcel holds both of them back) Marcel: Easy, easy! If you start feeding, you won't be able to stop, and then he'll be dead, and the rest of us still starve. (Josh and Gia continue to growl and hiss in their attempt to feed on Kol, and Marcel snaps his fingers in their face) Alright? Look at me! I have been at war, in the trenches, starved, with my men. If we fought through it then, you can now. (Josh and Gia are still struggling to stay in control) We are gonna fight this hunger together. (They both back away from Kol as Marcel becomes woozy from his werewolf bite. He closes his eyes briefly to regain his strength, but when he opens them, he sees Joe in his Army uniform standing behind Gia and Josh in the doorway. Marcel is transported back into his World War I flashbacks) [SCENE_BREAK] [ FLASHBACK - SECHAULT, FRANCE, 1918 ] (Joe is sitting in the trench away from the rest of the unit, and watches as Marcel pours powder into the steel mugs of the rest of the men. Once he's done, he heads toward Joe and fills his) Marcel: No gas masks or rations, but we got plenty of cocoa. Joe: More dirt than cocoa, but it'll do. (He looks over at Marcel and sets his mug down on the ground) Corporal, sir? I know you're starving. (Marcel looks over at him as he rolls up his sleeve and offers his arm to him. Marcel shakes his head and gently pushes his arm back toward him) Marcel: Never one of us. Catch me a German, and then we'll talk. (Suddenly, a soldier rushes toward him and calls out for him) Soldier: Corporal! (He salutes to Marcel) You're needed back at headquarters, sir. (Marcel nods at him and claps Joe affectionately on the shoulder before he leaves to go to headquarters. Once he's there, he enters a tent to find a gramophone player playing jazz music and a table full of fancy food, including a roast pig with an apple in its mouth. When Marcel turns to the desk, he finds Klaus sitting at the table with two young ladies standing on either side of him. Marcel looks almost appalled at the exquisite meal on display by Klaus while his troops are starving and fighting for their lives) Klaus: (turns in his desk chair to face Marcel, holding a battle helmet in his hand) Hate the war. Love the hats. Marcel: (sighs in annoyance) Klaus. What are you doing here? Klaus: Well, you left before such a delicious meal, I thought I'd bring you dessert! (He gestures to the ladies on either side of him, who walk over to Marcel and stand in front of him, baring their necks to him. Marcel struggles to resist feeding on them and glares at Klaus) Klaus: Oh, go on! You know you want to! Have your fill! (Marcel's vampire-face and fangs come out, and he's just about to bite into one of the girls' neck) And then, come home to New Orleans. (Marcel immediately stops what he's doing before he can feed and looks up at Klaus furiously. He backs away from the girls and heads toward the door) Marcel: I have to get back to my men. Klaus: (stands and runs toward Marcel) Your men? Don't be bloody ridiculous, Marcel! Let the food fight amongst themselves if you must, but make no mistake, your place is at home with your family. Marcel: You once told me that family are the people that you fight for, and those willing to fight for you! So, you go home, Klaus! I am with family! (Marcel puts on his helmet and storms out of the tent, leaving Klaus alone) (END FLASHBACK) [SCENE_BREAK] [ PRESENT DAY - MIKAELSON COMPOUND ] (In the present day, Marcel, who is looking even worse for wear, and has a thin sheen of sweat over his face and neck, has zoned out while he was revisiting his memories of the war. He hallucinates that Joe, still standing in his Army uniform, is severely bleeding from his mouth across the room. Marcel starts to walk toward him, but Gia grabs him by the arm to stop him as she and Josh look at him with concern) Gia: (whispers) Hey. Hey, are you okay? (She notices blood on his sleeve and pulls it up to reveal his bite wound. Marcel tries to yank his arm out of her grip, but she and Josh have already seen it. They both look at him in horror) Josh: Oh my God! Gia: Is that a werewolf bite? Marcel: It's a scratch! Josh: It's a bite. You're six ways to dead if you don't get Klaus' blood in you. (Josh points toward the courtyard) And when those guys find out? Marcel: (cuts him off) Well, they're not gonna to find out! Which means... (He stumbles a moment before regaining his composure and pointing at Gia) .. You're gonna keep your mouth shut about this, and... (He points at Josh) .. You're gonna shut yours, period. (Gia and Josh both shoot Marcel a look before they're distracted by the sound of church bells ringing loudly out on the street outside the compound. Children and adults wearing red and white, some in robes, are ringing handbells as well as they march down the street. Marcel is clutching his stomach, overwhelmed by hunger and werewolf venom, as Gia turns back to him) Gia: You hear that? That's the sound of food that we can't even get near while you're sitting here protecting that idiot. (She points at Kol, who is still lying unconscious on the couch) Marcel: It is just hunger, Gia. Lots of people on earth have been a lot hungrier than us. Gia: You made us a promise when you turned us. You had goals we bought into. But look at us! We've been wolf-bait, beaten up, stuck exiled across the river, then stuck here! And now, when we're all looking to you for help, you don't even tell us that you're dying. (Marcel looks as though he's about to interrupt, but she ignores him) You're supposed to be our leader, but right now, you suck at it. (Church bells and handbells continue to ring as Marcel rushes out to the balcony overlooking the courtyard. Down below, the vampires (who have just been joined by Gia and Josh) have all moved to the entrance, where they're all standing in a crowd, overwhelmed by hunger and the sight of all the humans right outside. The vampires are all vamping-out and growling, dying of anticipation. Marcel's hallucination of Joe stands next to him and looks at him) Joe: We don't all get to get out of this alive, son. [SCENE_BREAK] [ ST. ANNE'S CHURCH / MIKAELSON SAFE HOUSE / MIKAELSON COMPOUND / ASTRAL PLANE - THE HUNT ROOM ] (The camera pans from Klaus' unconscious body laying on the floor of the church, to Elijah's on the floor of the safe house, to Kol's on the couch in the compound's study, before it returns to the astral plane. Finn has just cast another spell to give Kol a nosebleed, and he wipes the blood off his lip in annoyance) Kol: Okay. Point made. Now, nobody loves a joke like old fox boy here, but if you could just get me back to my body... Elijah: I must confess, I rather enjoy watching you twist in the wind. (He pulls a handkerchief out of his pocket and hands it to Kol to wipe his bloody nose) Not unlike the way you left Rebekah, I imagine. Finn: (points at Elijah) Yes! What did you do to Rebekah? Kol: For goodness sake, she crossed me, so I crossed her back! Look, if you could just get me back to my body, I will tell anybody anything that they need to know! (Finn rolls his eyes and hits Kol with another pain infliction spell, which hurts him enough to stop talking)) Finn: (laughs) How narrow-minded of me! Rebekah. You don't know where she is, and the only thing standing between you and our sister is this selfish fool. Maybe it's time for you to go enjoy the rest of your mortal life while you still can. (Finn makes a fist with his hand, which sends Kol back into his body. Elijah and Klaus are both startled and confused. Kol wakes up on the couch in the study of the Mikaelson compound, and his gasp of surprise alerts Gia, Josh, and the rest of the vampires to his return to consciousness. They all swarm around him, and Kol looks anxious) Kol: ...Is it too late for an apology? (Gia lunges at Kol, with the rest of the vampires right behind her, but before they can get him, Marcel vamp-speeds Kol into another room) Kol: (impressed) Thanks, mate. Marcel: Oh, don't thank me yet. (Marcel is about to lunge at Kol to feed on him when Kol stops him) Kol: (holds out his arms protectively) Whoa whoa whoa, hold it! Hold it together. Just for a little while longer. (He nervously points out the window) A few minutes, to be exact. Marcel: (frowns suspiciously) What are you talking about? Kol: Finn. He plans to release the lot of you at sundown. Marcel: (angrily wipes at his face) The streets will be jam-packed with people right outside the gate. Kol: And you'll be half-crazed with hunger. You'll feed your way through the crowd, and that will be the end of vampires secretly living off the fat of New Orleans. (As Marcel is glaring at Kol, he sees another hallucination of Joe standing behind him. Kol, confused, snaps his fingers in front of Marcel's face) Kol: Marcel! (He takes in how woozy and distracted Marcel is) Listen to me. You are outmaneuvered, out-manned, and, quite frankly, you're... you're out of your mind. We're not going to get out of this alive. Marcel: (determined) No. We are all getting out of this alive. [SCENE_BREAK] [ THE BAYOU ] (Hayley and Jackson are walking through the woods of the Bayou on their way to meet Jackson's grandmother) Hayley: (sighs dramatically) Are we hiking to Baton Rouge? Jackson: (chuckles) Just a little bit farther. You nervous? Hayley: (shakes her head) I'm not nervous. Although I should be, she is your grandmother. Jackson: (smiles) Huh. She usually likes the girls I bring home. Hayley: (feigns offense) Ohhh! Really! Hmm. Exactly how many girls have you brought to meet her? Jackson: (laughs) No, I've never brought anyone to meet her. (Hayley looks surprised) So, you've gotta make a good impression, since she's got no one crazy to compare you with. Hayley: I am great with old people. And babies. It's just the in-between that I suck at. (Suddenly, Jackson's grandmother, Mary, appears out of nowhere and joins them, holding a basket full of herbs and plants in her hand) Mary: Cute as all this is, y'all are late! Jackson: Grandma Mary! (He gives his grandmother a big hug and kiss on the cheek before turning to Hayley) This is Hayley. Hayley: (smiles widely) Mary, it's so nice to meet you. Mary: (holds up a hand) You can turn off your old-people charm now. (Hayley's smile falls, and she looks uncomfortable) The two of you are late, and we need to get started. Hayley: (awkwardly) Right. (She clears her throat) So, yes, we have pre-marital rituals to attend to. Which are what, exactly? Mary: Fasting, purification, the Rite of Divulgement, to name a few. Hayley: (worried) The Rite of what? Mary: Oh, it's simple. You speak the truth, he speaks the truth, secrets are cleansed, everyone's happy. Hayley: (looks at Jackson in alarm) What do you mean, secrets are cleansed? Mary: The two Alphas smoke the root of the blue calamus flower. It links your hearts and minds together. The ceremony won't take if there are lies separating you. This way, there are none. It's the most important ritual apart from the wedding ceremony itself. (She smiles and pats Hayley on the arm) Hope you don't have too many skeletons in your closet! (Mary starts to lead them to her home, and Jackson starts to follow her, though Hayley stays where she is) Hayley: (panicks) I'm... not doing that. (Mary and Jackson both look at her in confusion, and she turns to him) I'm sorry... I can't. (She looks horrified as she turns and rushes away, leaving Jackson and his grandmother alone in the woods) [SCENE_BREAK] [ ASTRAL PLANE - HUNT ROOM ] (With Kol gone from the chambre de chasse, Klaus and Elijah are alone with Finn, who seems pleased) Finn: So, what shall we talk about while we wait for nightfall? (He mockingly gasps) Oh! I know! Let's talk about our parents. Klaus: You know, I figured you wouldn't be kind to Mother, but imagine my surprise to learn that Mikael met the same fate! Bravo, brother. Finn: You see, the parent I was interested in talking about was your father. Your real one? I mean, you longed to know him your whole life, yet at the first opportunity, you murdered him! Why, I wonder? Klaus: (approaches him) Possibly the same reason you took out Esther. Severing parental ties has a way of freeing one up to recognize one's true potential. Finn: Quite. But, Esther was no fool. She pinpointed your wants, and knowing your true father was at the top of the list! (He makes a noise to mimic the sound of killing someone) No, something else occupies the top of your list of affections. And it's not your favorite city. (He smacks Klaus on the back, which startles him enough to turn and get in Finn's face) Because I'm about to take that from you, using your own vampires, and I barely get a rise out of you! I thought maybe it was Rebekah, but you remain calm, even when the one who knows her fate probably just met his. Elijah: I am fighting the monumental urge to mount your severed head upon one of these walls... Finn: (ignores him) And then, I thought it was your favorite brother, but Mother broke him into a thousand pieces, and rather than fix him, you left him to fend for himself God knows where. You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were hiding something from me. Something big. Something dark. Maybe your real father found out what it was, and you had to kill him. Klaus: (furious) You want to know why I killed my father? Finn: Yeah! Klaus: Because when blood relations let me down, I don't stop to reason with them, I remove them. Finn: So, the secret is there is no secret? You long for nothing, care for no one? (Klaus smiles at him) The problem is, brother, I don't believe you. It's clear to me that you're hiding something. And, as I control your presence here, we've got all the time in the world to figure out just what that might be. (Finn walks away from him. Elijah's face is blank of emotion, but Klaus looks both furious and terrified of Finn learning the truth) [SCENE_BREAK] [ THE BAYOU ] (Hayley is alone in the woods when Jackson finally catches up with her) Jackson: Hayley! Hayley? Hayley, wait! Hayley: I can't do it, Jack. Jackson: You're not the only one who has stuff they'd rather not talk about! Hayley: Some of my secrets aren't mine to tell. Jackson: Maybe a little honesty is a good thing! Hayley: Jack, I live with the Original family. In that family, sometimes honesty... can get you killed. Jackson: (looks stunned for a moment, but shakes it off) We all have things we hope will never see the light of day. You probably won't like what I have to say any more than what you're holding back. Hayley: I wish that were true. Jackson: Come back with me! We'll take it one step at a time. And if anything makes you uncomfortable, you tell me, and we stop. (Hayley looks hesitant) And when it comes time to open up, I'll go first. Because I don't run. And I don't scare easy. Your secrets are my secrets. Your demons my demons. And you'll never have to fight them alone. I promise you that. (Hayley still looks torn, and closes her eyes as she takes a deep breath) Please. (He holds out his hand to her, and after a long moment, Hayley gently places her hand in his) [SCENE_BREAK] [ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ] (Josh is walking around the crowd of vampires and insisting that they relax, but everyone looks anxious and weak from starvation. Marcel comes out on the balcony over the courtyard, and when Gia sees him, she walks toward him) Gia: I'm gonna give you two minutes to explain why we don't come up there and take the witch. You lied to us! You betrayed everything that you taught us. How can you lead us? [SCENE_BREAK] [ FLASHBACK - SECHAULT, FRANCE, 1918 ] (Poisonous gas bombs are going off all across the battlefield. When Marcel returns to the trenches, he finds that everyone in the unit is either dead or dying from exposure to the gas. He starts checking on each of the men in turn) Marcel: No! (The first man he checks is coughing up blood. The others are in similar states. He finally makes his way down to where Joe is laying, blood pouring from his mouth) Joe! Joe, no! (He holds Joe's face in his hands) Joe: (weak) We never did get those gas masks. Marcel: (panicked) I'm sorry. I failed you, brother. Joe: Not if you make us into vampires like you. Let's make this fight more even. Turn us. (Marcel frantically looks around at all of the men coughing and dying in the trench. After a moment, he realizes what he needs to do, and bites into his wrist before letting Joe drink his blood) (END FLASHBACK) [SCENE_BREAK] [ PRESENT DAY - MIKAELSON COMPOUND ] (When Marcel returns to the present, he sees the crowd of vampires gathered around and becomes even more determined) Marcel: Hey! I'm sorry I let you down, okay? All of you. But, the way that you are feeling right now, this despair? This hunger? I have been through it, and if you let me help you survive it, I guarantee you, it will only make you stronger! At sundown, Vincent's gonna drop that barrier spell right there, and those doors are gonna open, and we are gonna be smack in the middle of a parade of innocent people. We can't fall apart now! Gia: Innocent, guilty, we're hungry. We have to feed! Marcel: We don't feed on locals! That's our rule! That's how we've survived three hundred years in this city, and that is why we get to call it home! Because we live by a code. Gia: The same one that won't let you tell your own people that you're dying of a werewolf bite? (The crowd of vampires begin chattering amongst themselves about this revelation, but Marcel vamp-speeds down to the courtyard to continue his speech) Marcel: I'm not dying of anything! I've got a vial of Klaus' blood at my place right across the river, along with enough blood to satisfy all of you! All we have to do is get there. (Marcel looks at Josh) You once asked me what I was fighting for. I told you that I was fighting for this city, for our home. But if we feed out there, we lose it. The barrier will be down any moment now. Let me help you get home. (Suddenly, the church bells begin to ring again, just as the sun goes down and darkens the streets. Marcel and the rest of the vampires turn their attention to the front entrance as Kol comes out on the balcony and hides in the shadows so he can see what happens. Marcel walks to the doorway and gingerly holds out his hand, expecting to get burned, but it passes right through. Realizing the barrier is down, Marcel turns back to the vampires, who are trying their best to keep themselves in control) Marcel: It's down. Let's go. (Kol watches as they all file out of the compound and into the street) [SCENE_BREAK] [ ASTRAL PLANE - HUNT ROOM ] (Finn, Elijah, and Klaus are each seated in their own chairs while they continue to talk. Finn is still trying to bait Klaus into exposing his secret) Finn: It's a shame, really, for you to lose New Orleans. You've worked so hard to make this city a home. On the other hand, this city hasn't given you much in the way of good fortune. You have Marcel's betrayal, Father's attack, the loss of your child... (Elijah looks worriedly at Klaus, who doesn't react) Elijah: It is a delicate craft. (Finn looks over at him, puzzled) Representational magic. One must be ever so precise. If you misrepresent us, the very enchantment that this room was built upon would collapse, would it not? (Klaus looks at Elijah curiously) Finn: I assure you, you have not been misrepresented. Elijah: Well, that depends upon how well the hunter knows his prey. (Elijah points to himself before standing and looking at the stag head mounted above him) This fa ade, this illusion that I have created over the course of my life, the noble stag... Is nothing more than a deception. To myself. To everyone. (He turns to Klaus) If I were a truly noble brother, I would not withheld from you a vile deed. One that I, like a coward, allowed Mother to erase from my memory. It was I who killed Tatia. (Klaus is stunned by this confession, and the room starts to shake and warp as Elijah flickers in and out of focus) I hunted her down, and mercilessly, I feasted upon her flesh. I tore her from us. Mother took the blame. (He kneels in front of Klaus) Brother, I felt certain if you knew, you would in no way forgive me. (Elijah looks disgusted and ashamed of himself, but Klaus simply looks at him sadly) Finn: The act may be reprehensible, but your admitting to it proves you to be the man I thought you to be! (He lifts his arms up and gestures around) My magic stands! Klaus: Does it? (He smiles weakly) It turns out my brother is even more depraved than I am. (Elijah looks up at him with tears in his eyes, but Finn looks alarmed as Klaus stands and looks at the heads on the walls) He is the noble stag no longer. Indeed, another altogether different beast is creeping through the cracks. And you have also failed in your representation of me, because there is one thing you have never thought me capable of. (He turns back to Elijah, who looks surprised when he squeezes his shoulder comfortingly) Forgiveness. (The room suddenly begins to shake, and Finn looks scared for the first time since they entered the room) You, Finn, have remained a boar for centuries, but here is where your true fault lies: You never learnt that the bonds of family far outweigh anything else! Such bonds trump petty jealousies. They overcome ancient feuds. And, yes, they are capable of allowing one monster to pardon the great sins of another. (Finn looks up to see the wolf head go up in flames and is startled so much that he jumps to his feet. When Elijah looks over, the stag head is also set ablaze, and the room begins to shake even more) Finn: (stunned) How is this possible? Klaus: Your magic is as flawed as your perception of your own siblings. I wonder, just how untouchable are you? (The brothers lunge for Finn, but before they can reach him, Finn releases the spell, which returns them to their their bodies) [SCENE_BREAK] [ MIKAELSON SAFE HOUSE / ST. ANNE'S CHURCH ] (Elijah wakes first to find Cami sitting next to him, waiting for him to return. She quickly rises to her feet to check him over) Cami: Thank God! Are you okay? Elijah: For now. (Meanwhile, Klaus has just awakened in the church next to Davina, who has been awaiting his return as well) Davina: What happened? Is Kol okay? Klaus: (scoffs) I'm fine, thank you for your concern. The same, however, can not be said for your friends and the people of the French Quarter. Now, I can stand here and explain to you the specifics, or you can show a little trust and come with me. Davina: (shrugs and grabs her coat) I'm the one who's been waiting for you to move your ass. Let's go. (She pushes past Klaus and heads for the compound, and Klaus smiles and chuckles before following her out) [SCENE_BREAK] [ PRESENT DAY FRENCH QUARTER / FLASHBACK - SECHAULT, FRANCE, 1918 ] (In the present, Marcel is leading the vampires, most of whom are leaning on each other for support, through the streets of the Quarter, which are full to the brim with people celebrating Carillon Eve. Many of the locals are giving the vampires weird looks, as they are sweaty and pale and using all of their self-control to keep from feeding on them) (In flashback, Marcel is in the middle of his unit, who are crowded around him after having completed their transition) Marcel: What you're feeling is a hunger. It will be unlike anything you've ever known. (He continues in voiceover as Gia and Josh struggle to keep it together in the present as they make their way to Marcel's apartment) It will eat you from the inside. (In flashback, Joe comes up behind Marcel, looking proud) But you are in control. It is your greatest weapon, and the Germans are coming over that hill, thinking to waltz over our corpses to take the town! But that's not gonna happen, because one thing stands in the enemy's way! Us! (Joe and many of the others let their vampire-faces out and growl in anticipation. In the present, Marcel is stumbling his way down the street, leaning on Josh and Gia and the others) And make no mistake, we are one unit, one army! We are family. (In the present, Marcel stumbles again, and Josh keeps him from falling completely) Family is not determined by blood, but by who you fight for, and who will fight for you! (In flashback, bombs rain down upon the battlefield just outside the trench) Tonight, we will feed on the blood of our enemies, and if we die, we will be reborn, and we will feed again! We are the Brotherhood of the Damned, and we cannot be defeated! (The unit all starts to cheer before they head onto the field) Marcel: Over the top! (The German Army shoots at the Brotherhood as they storm the field, but despite their gunfire, the vampires are able to overpower them, and they feed on every soldier they come upon. In the present, Marcel continues to lead his present-day vampire army down the streets of the French Quarter, though he's clearly getting weaker and weaker. During the battle, one of the Germans stabs Joe with his bayonet, but he just takes it from him and drops it before tearing into his neck and drinking deep. In the present, Gia stumbles, but Marcel manages to hold her up while keeping himself on his feet. More Brotherhood members feed on the Germans) (Marcel is struggling to resist feeding, and keeps taking deep breaths as Gia and Josh cling to him) Gia: (determined) We're gonna make it. (Suddenly, Marcel loses his strength, and his body crumples to the ground as he passes out) [SCENE_BREAK] [ THE FRENCH QUARTER ] (Davina and Klaus have just arrived to the parade of marchers, and they stop to see if anything bad has happened) Davina: Everything's fine out here. Where the hell are they? Klaus: You look around, I'll see if I can track them down. (When Klaus leaves, Davina glances around the crowd until she sees Kol across the street. Relieved to see him alive, she smiles rushes toward him, immediately kissing him as soon as she's within arms reach) [SCENE_BREAK] [ MARCEL'S LOFT ] (Marcel suddenly awakens on the floor of his apartment, only to find his head is resting in Gia's lap, where she's affectionately rubbing his hair) Gia: Welcome back, soldier. Fed you some of Klaus' blood. You weren't exactly lucid. (She pulls down his sleeve to reveal that his bite has completely healed. Marcel looks around to find that his apartment is covered in empty blood bags) Gia: (smiles) They're all getting into the rest of your blood bags downstairs. Marcel: But not you. Gia: I'm sorry for being a pain in the ass. Marcel: (sits up to look Gia in the eye) Only the weak don't challenge authority, Gia. You did good. (Suddenly, a clapping noise is heard, and Gia and Marcel look over at the doorway to find Finn clapping his hands mockingly) Finn: I applaud you all for your... strength of character. Just finished congratulating your little vampire-horde downstairs. Marcel: (furious) What did you do to them? Finn: Nothing that isn't reversible. I came to ask you a question, Marcel. See, earlier today, I spent some time with my brothers. They went to great lengths to hide something from me. A secret they'd do anything to keep. (Marcel glares at him) Now, I may not be able to get it out of them, but I'm willing to bet I can rip it out of you. (Marcel lunges at Finn, but Finn casts a spell as the camera cuts away) [SCENE_BREAK] [ MIKAELSON SAFE HOUSE - ARKANSAS / MARCEL'S LOFT / THE BAYOU ] (Cami sits on the couch with Hope in her arms as Elijah paces around and speaks to Klaus on the phone) Klaus: How is my daughter? Elijah: (smiles) She's in good hands. As am I. However, if you say the word, I shall return. Klaus: No, you're needed where you are. Elijah: So, the city is safe? (As Klaus speaks, he steps over the many empty blood bags on Marcel's floor while he looks around the apartment) Klaus: Well, I wouldn't exactly go flinging around terms like "safe." Marcel and all his vampires have inexplicably disappeared. Kol is in the wind, Rebekah is still lost, and Finn is dangerously suspicious of the secrets we keep. Speaking of which... I meant what I said. I am capable of forgiveness. (Elijah looks as though he's near tears at this admission) We need to remain focused on our common enemies. I'll be in touch. (Klaus and Elijah hang up. Elijah looks worried as he puts his phone away. Meanwhile, at Marcel's apartment, Aiden has just arrived) Klaus: Ah! The cavalry has arrived! And right on time. No doubt eager to save your precious Josh. Aiden: Yes. Just tell me what you need. Klaus: You can start by questioning your wolves. Find out what Finn has done with Marcel and his vampires. Aiden: Well, I would, but most of the wolves took off for the Bayou, waiting for Hayley and Jackson to finish their wedding trials. Klaus: And what trials might those be? Aiden: Your basic old-school werewolf stuff. They go out into the woods and smoke this blue calamus root out of a peace pipe. Klaus: (concerned) Blue calamus? A rather specific plant. Known by many for its unique properties as a truth serum. In generations past, it was used as among the wolves for divulgement rituals. (As he speaks, Hayley and Jackson are walking hand-in-hand toward Mary's house in the Bayou) Ancient rites where secrets are confessed. (Jackson and Hayley look at each other, and Jackson sighs nervously) I don't suppose they mentioned such a thing? Aiden: They just said they had to do a bunch of rituals and ceremonial stuff. Klaus: And where exactly did Jackson take Hayley? (Hayley and Jackson walk into the front door of Mary's home as she welcomes them inside) Aiden: Back country. Deep Bayou. Why? Klaus: That'll be all. (He heads for the door) Stay on point! Aiden: Wait, that's it? Where are you going? Klaus: I'm going to have a little chat with the bride-to-be. Remind her that some secrets need to stay buried.

Armed with more power than ever, Vincent creates an elaborate spell that allows him to take the upper hand and trap his brothers Klaus and Elijah. Realizing that Kaleb is also in trouble, Davina has no choice but to team up with the Originals to help. After the deadly events in the previous episode, Marcel must try to calm his volatile pack of suffering vampires, while remembering his days as a solider during World War I when his leadership skills were equally brought to the test. Finally, Hayley finds herself conflicted when she learns that she and Jackson must participate in extreme and unconventional rituals prior to their wedding, which will put them both in a dangerous position.

fd_The_Office_02x22

fd_The_Office_02x22_0

Michael: Tonight the Scranton Business Park is having Casino Night and we are converting our warehouse into a full-blown gambling hall. And I know it's illegal in Pennsylvania, but it's for charity. And I consider myself a great philanderer. It's just... It's nice to know at the end of the day, I can look in the mirror and say, "Michael, because of you, some little kid in the Congo has a belly full of rice this evening." Makes you feel good. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Excuse me. How long is the wait for a table for two? Dwight: I would never, ever serve you. Not in a million, billion years. Pam: It's a nice tux. Dwight: I know. It belonged to my grandfather. He was buried in it, so family heirloom. [SCENE_BREAK] Roy: So, what's the deal? We gotta pay for our own drinks? That's lame. Pam: Come on, it'll be fun, and besides, I'm a roulette expert. Dwight: Impossible. Roulette is not a game of skill, it is a game of chance. Jim: I can always kind of win at roulette. Dwight: Oh, really? Mmm-hmm. Jim: Yeah. Dwight: How would you do that? Jim: Mind control. Dwight: [laughs] You can't be serious. Are you serious? Jim: Ever since I was a little kid, like, eight or nine, I could sort of control things with my mind. Dwight: I don't believe you. Continue. Jim: It was just little thing, you know, like I could make something shake or I could make a marble fall off the counter. You know, just little things. Dwight: [scoffs] That's ridiculous. You know what? Uh... Why don't you move that coat rack? Excuse me, everyone! Attention in the office, please. Jim is about to prove his telekinetic powers and he needs absolute silence. Go ahead. Jim: Okay, I'll try. [The coat rack wobbles] [Pam holds up an umbrella handle to the camera in another scene] Dwight: Oh, my God. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: I try not to think of it as lagging behind. It's more of a David-and-Goliath thing. Jan: [on phone] Yeah, but... Well, the fact of the matter is that your branch is currently number four of the five branches that I oversee. Michael: Top 80 percent! Jan: Michael? Michael: Yeah? Jan: You know that I'm very serious here. Michael: Jan, listen, I promise that I will kick it up a notch. Bam! Jan: What? Michael: Emeril. Oh, actually, while I have you, not that I have you or have ever had you, but we're having our Casino Night tonight and I think everyone would love to see their fearless leader here. Jan: I thought that you were their fearless leader. Michael: I am, but you are the Eva Peron to my Cesar Chavez. Jan: [laughs] I think you can handle it. Michael: Oh, come on. Come on. Jan: I think so, Michael... Michael: You know, it'd be fun. I can hear it in your voice. You need a break. Jan: Goodbye, Michael. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Jan and I understand each other. The romance thing is sort of on hold for the time being, but we've remained good friends. Good friends with privileges. Not now, some day. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Okay, everybody. Tonight's event is to benefit the Boy Scouts of America. Oscar: Again? We do that every year. Michael: Well, they need our money. They don't have cookies like the Girl Scouts. Oscar: It'd be nice to do something for people who are actually suffering. Michael: Well, Oscar, if you don't like it, then you should concentrate on winning. Because the person at the end of the evening with the highest chip count will receive $500 to donate to the charity of their choice. And they will get a mini-fridge compliments of Vance Refrigeration. Dwight: Yes! Michael: So get your charities in to Pam. I, for example, am playing for Comic Relief. Jim: That doesn't exist anymore. Michael: Comedy is very much alive, as are homeless people. Pam: No, they stopped making that show. Michael: Well, then, they need our money more than ever. Angela: You have to pick an approved, non-profit organization. [SCENE_BREAK] Creed: There's a great soup kitchen in downtown Scranton. Delicious pea soup on Thursdays. I'll probably give the money to them. [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: Something with animals. Or people. [SCENE_BREAK] Kelly: Kobe Bryant has a foundation, and he is so hot. And he gave his wife the biggest diamond ring. I know he didn't do it. ...Maybe he did it. [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: We are giving money that has been gambled. Why don't we just deal drugs or prostitute ourselves, and donate that money to charity? [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Oh, and another fun thing. We, at the end of the night, are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts. Right, Toby? We're gonna... Toby: Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children since it's... You know, there's gambling and alcohol, and it's in our dangerous warehouse and it's a school night... And, you know, Hooters is catering. You know, is that enough? Should I keep going? Michael: Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not... that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be. Okay, you know what? I will not donate my winnings to Comic Relief, since apparently it doesn't exist. I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS. Jim: I think you mean the aid to Afghanistan. Michael: No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS. Phyllis: Afghani. Michael: What? Phyllis: Afghani. Michael: That's a dog. Pam: No, that's Afghan. Michael: That's a shawl. Dwight: Wait, canine AIDS? Michael: No. Humans with AIDS. Creed: Who has AIDS? Jim: Guys, the Afghanistananies. Michael: Okay, you know what? No. No. AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: There are certain topics that are off-limits to comedians, JFK, AIDS, the Holocaust. The Lincoln Assassination just recently became funny. "I need to see this play like I need a hole in the head." [laughs] And I hope to someday live in a world where a person could tell a hilarious AIDS joke. It's one of my dreams. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: What are you doing? Pam: Oh, nothing. Jim: "Till Death Do Us Rock." Pam: They're wedding bands. Jim: Oh. Pam: Roy was supposed to pick the band, but he's concentrating more on the bachelor party now. Jim: Wait, wait, where you going? I mean, even if you don't hire a band, you still have to watch the bands. Pam, these are people who have never given up on their dreams. I have great respect for that. And, yes, they're all probably very bad and that will make me feel better about not having dreams. Pam: There's a KISS cover band in here. Jim: Let's do it. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: I'm pretty happy these days. I'm getting married soon and I'm getting along with everybody at work. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Why did I talk to Jan about transferring? Well, you know... I have no future here. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: I have already put down the deposit. Do you understand how a deposit works? Darryl: Mike, I am not having fire-eaters in a paper warehouse. Michael: It's Casino Night like Las Vegas. There are fire-eaters all over the place. Darryl: Except my warehouse. Michael: Well, actually, it's my warehouse. Dwight: Actually, it's owned by Beakman Properties, and Dunder Mifflin is four years into a seven-year lease. Michael: Why are you here? Dwight: When Darryl was coming, you said you wanted me here for protection. Michael: Not. I said, not that. Darryl: We just have a lot of stuff down there that could be stolen. Michael: That's ironic. Darryl: What? Michael: That you are afraid. Darryl: Why? 'Cause I'm from the hood? Michael: Dinkin' flicka. Darryl: [sighs] Dinkin' flicka. [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: I taught Mike some, uh, phrases to help with his interracial conversations. You know, stuff like, "Fleece it out." "Going mach five." "Dinkin' flicka." You know, things us Negroes say. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Give me some. [Michael and Darryl perform simultaneous hand gesture] [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: Oh, yeah, I taught him a handshake, too. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: [Jim ejects a videotape from the VCR and puts in a new one] Wow. I don't know how you're gonna decide. They are all extremely good. Pam: I think I should hire them all. Do like Lollapalooza. Jim: Yes. Pam: Have three stages, yeah. Jim: Your mom would love that. She would. Oh, this band is called Scrantonicity. Pam: Oh. Jim: Let's take a look. Nice. Pam: Oh, wait. That's Kevin. On the drums. Jim: What? Pam: On the drums! On the drums! Jim: Oh, my God, that's Kevin! Great song, Kev. Oh, my God, he's the drummer and the singer. [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: We really don't do a lot of weddings. We actually don't play in public very often. We are all really hoping that Pam's wedding works out. This could be a turning point for the band. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Wow. Oh! Pam: Oh, my... Jim: Yeah, you haven't seen that since 1983. That is amazing. Okay, we have to sign him. I'm gonna call the label, we're gonna... Pam: No! No! Jim: No, Pam, you're gonna lose him to another wedding. Pam: No, come back! No, no, no! Jim: Kev! [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Jim is great. Being with him just takes away all the stress of planning my wedding. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [phone rings] Yes Pam: [phone rings] Michael, Carol Stills for you. Michael: Who? Pam: Carol Stills. Michael: Do I know a Carol Stills? Pam: Your realtor. Michael: Oh, yeah, put her through. Hey Carol, how goes the real estate biz? Is it real good? Pam: It's still me. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Sometimes I don't put Michael through until he's already said something. I look at it as a practice run for him. He usually does better on the second attempt. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Carol, you're on with Michael. Carol: [on phone] Hello, Michael? Michael: Hi, Carol. How you doing? Carol: I'm great. I just needed one last signature for your mortgage insurance. Michael: Oh, hey, no problemo. Incidentally, I love the place. Carol: Oh, great. Michael: Great. It has a little bit of a weird smell. It's okay. At Christmas, the tree helped. Carol: Oh, good, I'm glad. Can I drop it over later? Michael: Actually, I'm sort of hosting this charity thing in our warehouse, Casino Night. Carol: Oh, great. Michael: Yeah, it'll be good. You know what? Why don't you come by? Bring the papers, I'll sign them and then you can stay and have a drink. Carol: To the casino thing? Michael: Yeah. It'll be fun. What do you...[phone rings] What do you... Carol: What? Michael: Oh, I'm sorry. Could you hold on? Yes? Pam: Michael, Jan's on line two. Michael: Okay, put her through. [Deep voice] Jan Levinson, I presume? Pam: It's still me. Uh, Jan, here's Michael. Jan: Michael? Michael: Hey, Jan. How you doing? Jan: You know, I... I thought about it and you are right. Michael: I am? Jan: I could use a little fun. So, I am going to drive up for your Casino Night. Michael: Oh, okay. Jan: Incidentally, what is the charity? Michael: AIDS. Jan: Okay, then. I will see you tonight. Michael: Okay, sounds great. Jan: Bye-bye. Michael: Bye Hello, Carol? Hi, sorry about that. I just... Carol: No problemo. Michael: Right. Carol: To answer your question... Michael: Yeah? Carol: Yes. Michael: What? Carol: I'd love to go. Michael: Okay. Carol: I have to get a sitter, but that shouldn't be a problem. Michael: Problem. Good. Carol: And I'll bring the papers, too. Michael: Good, All right. Sounds great. Carol: I'll see you tonight. Michael: Bye. Carol: Bye. Michael: Two queens on Casino Night. I am going to drop a deuce on everybody. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: [People playing casino games as the actual Casino Night begins] Oh, my God! Roy: Yeah! That's great. Michael: Hey, hey. Carol: Hi. Michael: Hey, Carol. Carol: Hi. Michael: You look great. Carol: Thanks. Thank you for inviting me. It looks so great in here. Michael: Oh, well... Kiss. [Michael kisses her on the cheek, pauses and then kisses her on the other cheek] That's how we do it in the paper biz. It's European and... Yes? Ah, Dwight [Kisses cheeks] Dwight: Code name Re/Max is here. No sign of Lan Jevinson. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: I'm Michael's wingman. I've got his back. Two dates. He's got two dates tonight. My job is to keep Jan away from Carol and vice versa. Michael said, "We must deceive them, so as not to hurt them, and in that way, we honor them." [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Can I get you a drink? The food is from Hooters. Carol: Drink would be good. Michael: Okay. [SCENE_BREAK] Creed: Oh, I steal things all the time. It's just something I do. I stopped caring a long time ago. You should see how many supplies I've taken from this place. Honestly, I love stealing things. [SCENE_BREAK] Billy's Girlfriend: I'm gonna get a drink. Do you need anything? Billy: No, I'm fine. Thank's sweetheart. Billy's Girlfriend: Okay. Michael: Billy, your nurse is hot. Billy: That's my girlfriend. Michael: Your nurse became your girlfriend? Sweet. Billy: She was never my nurse. I met her at Chili's. She was my waitress. Michael: Chili's is great. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Welkommen, Bienvenue, and welcome to Monte Carlo! Dwight. I am no longer your boss. Lady Fortune is your boss. Stanley: [Under his breath] Will Lady Fortune give me a raise? Michael: Shut it, shut it, shut it. Will Lady Fortune be your mistress? Only time will tell, my friends. Leave all your preconceived notions about casinos at the door. Old friends, new lovers, and the disabled! Welcome all! Great, okay. Shuffle up and deal. Let's get it started! Black-Eyed Crows. Dealer: Okay, the game is No-Limit Texas Hold'em. Good luck, everybody. That's at least four red chips to you, sir. Michael: All-in. [Other players fold their hands] [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Bluffing is a key part of poker, which is too bad, because I'm not very good at bluffing. Did you believe me? [SCENE_BREAK] Toby: I'll call. Michael: What are... That's insane. Toby: I have good cards. Michael: Well, Toby, I went all-in on the first hand, so doesn't that tell you that I might have good cards, too? So don't be stupid. Just take it back. Dealer: No, I'm sorry. He can't, sir. He's gone all-in. Michael: Okay, all right, whatever. Dealer: Flip them. Michael: You really screwed that up. [Michael leaves] Meredith: Wow. [SCENE_BREAK] Toby: I don't really play cards, but I'm not gonna lie to you. It felt really good to take money from Michael. Gonna chase that feeling. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: I expect to do very well tonight. I have an acute ability to read people. Jim, for instance, has a huge tell. When he gets a good hand, he coughs. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: [coughs] I will raise. [Dwight sighs and folds his cards] Thanks. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: It's the weirdest thing. Every time I cough, he folds. [SCENE_BREAK] Carol: Wow, bad luck. Michael: Yeah, whatever. Hey, you know what? If luck weren't involved, I would always be winning. [Sees Jan] Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Jan: Michael? Michael: Jan. Jan: Hi. Michael: Look, okay, I think we're all adults here, and it has always been my understanding that we have an open relationship. Jan: What are you... Just... Wait, what're you talking about? Carol: What does that mean? Michael: After you said you weren't coming, I invited Carol to come and I don't think that I did anything wrong. Jan: No. No, you didn't. Hi, I'm Jan. I'm Michael's boss. Carol: Hi, hi. Jan: Does anyone want a drink? Carol: No, I'm good. Jan: Okay. [Carol stares at Michael] Michael: Um... Dwight: Hey, hey. Michael: Hey. What... Dwight: Jan's here. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Give me the dice. Kevin: Come on, Dwight. Dwight: Let's go. Billy: It's all on you, baby. Let's go. Angela: Good evening, Dwight. What is this? Dwight: Evening, Angela. This is craps. I need to roll an eight. If I do, everyone wins. Kevin: Yes. Angela: Then roll an eight. Dwight: Thank you, Angela. Angela: Good luck, Dwight. Dwight: Yeah! Yeah! [Kisses Angela, she slaps him and walks away smiling] Kevin: Dwight, let's keep it going. Let's keep it going. Let's go. Oscar: Let it ride. Let it all ride. Dwight: Give me the dice! [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Yeah, right. Pam: "Yeah, right," what? Jim: What was this? [Makes face] Pam: [Laughs] I have good cards. Jim: Really? Pam: Mhmm, And I'm gonna take you all-in. Jim: Wow. I think you're bluffing. Kevin: Yeah, I think she's full of it. Pam: Straight. Jim: Oh. Three nines. Kevin: Pam. Jim Halpert, ladies and gentlemen. Jim: Thank you very much. It was fun. [SCENE_BREAK] Jan: Cosmopolitan, please. Carol: Can I get a red wine? So, two hours? That's a long drive. Jan: Well, it's part of the job, you know? Keep an eye on things. So... Why not? So, how long have you and Michael been... Carol: Oh, well, actually, I guess this would be our first date. I guess. Jan: Casino Night in the warehouse. Good sport. Carol: Well, I'm having a nice time. Jan: Oh, me too. Me too. [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: One beer and one Seven and Seven with eight maraschino cherries, sugar on the rim, blended if you can. Jim: So, that's still going on, huh? You and Kelly? [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: All right! Dealer: The point is four. Shooter, roll it. Four! Dwight: Come on, shooter! Michael: Four! [Holds dice in front of Carol] Blow. Blow for luck! Yeah! Also, you. Not playing favorites. [Holds dice in front of Jan] All right, here we go! Carol: All right. Michael: Yeah! Dealer: Five. Michael: So close. So close. Dwight: Come on. [Turns to Jan] So where you staying? Radisson? Jan: What? Dwight: Super 8? Jan: No, I... Dwight: Motel 6? Best Western? Jan: I didn't... I don't know... Dwight: Holiday Inn? The Hyatt in Wilkes-Barre? You staying with Michael? [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: I won the 2002 $2,500 No-Limit Deuce-to-Seven-Draw Tournament at the World Series of Poker in Vegas. So, yeah... I'm pretty good at poker. [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: All-in. Phyllis: Okay, let's do it. Bob Vance: Good Luck, honey. Phyllis: Oh, thank you, Bobby. But it doesn't matter, it's just fun to play. Kevin: Three queens. Dwight: Nice, very nice. Phyllis: I have an ace. Oscar: No, that's a flush. Dwight: Oh, man! Phyllis: Oh, I have a flush! Bob: Yes! Phyllis: Look, I won! Look I have all the clovers! You wanna play again? [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: I suck. [SCENE_BREAK] Roy: She took you down, huh? Kevin: I do not want to talk about it. Roy: Hey, I saw your tape. Your band, Scrantonicity? You guys rock. Kevin: Yeah? Roy: Yeah, you guys wanna play our wedding? Kevin: Awesome. Did Pam say it was okay? Roy: Whatever. I'm in charge of the music. Kevin: Dude, you will not be sorry. Roy: Sweet. All right. Kevin: All right. [SCENE_BREAK] Jan: Smoke? Jim: No, thanks. You having fun? Jan: Fabulous time. I drove two and a half hours to get here. Jim: Yeah, we all really... Jan: Left work early, drove down here. And I am completely underdressed Jim: Well, I think you look great. Jan: Why did I hook up with Michael? Jim: Yeah, why did you? Jan: It was very late, Jim. Very... Very late and... Have you given any more thought to the transfer? Jim: Oh, yeah. Jan: Good. Have you told anyone? Jim: No. Jan: Well, you should. [SCENE_BREAK] Bob: Excuse me. Big moment. The evening's chip leader and winner of this beautiful mini-refrigerator courtesy of Vance Refrigeration, Creed Bratton, Dunder Mifflin! Creed: Thanks. I never owned a refrigerator. [SCENE_BREAK] Roy: Sorry, babe. I am just beat. Pam: It's okay. I'll see you at home. Roy: Okay. Hey, don't try to lose too much money, all right? Pam: Okay. Roy: If you still want a honeymoon. Hey, Halpert. Keep an eye on her, all right? Jim: Okay, will do. Roy: See you. Pam: Bye! Hey. Jim: Hey, how's it going? Pam: Good, especially after I took all your money in poker. Jim: Yeah. Hey, can I talk to you about something? Pam: About when you want to give me more of your money? Jim: No, I... Pam: Did you wanna do that now? We can go inside. I'm feeling kind of good tonight. Jim: I was just... I'm in love with you. Pam: What? Jim: I'm really sorry if that's weird for you to hear, but I needed you to hear it. Probably not good timing, I know that. I just... Pam: What are you doing? What do you expect me to say to that? Jim: I just needed you to know. Once. Pam: Well, I um... I... I can't. Jim: Yeah. Pam: You have no idea... Jim: Don't do that. Pam: ...what your friendship means to me. Jim: Come on. I don't wanna do that. I wanna be more than that. Pam: I can't. I'm really sorry if you misinterpreted things. It's probably my fault. Jim: Not your fault. I'm sorry I misinterpreted our friendship. [SCENE_BREAK] Jan: Hey. I'm leaving. Michael: Hey, okay. Jan: So, I just wanted to congratulate you on a fantastic evening. You did the company proud. Michael: Thank you. Jan: And thanks for inviting me. You were right, I needed it. So, thanks. Michael: Okay. Thanks for coming. Jan: Nice to meet you. Carol: You, too. Jan: And you guys have a good time together. Michael: Okay. Talk to you Monday. Jan: Yeah. Carol: Goodbye. Michael: Good night. She's a good boss. Carol: She seems really nice. Michael: Oh, she's great. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Love triangle. Drama. All worked out in the end, though. The hero got the girl. Who saw that coming? I did. And Jan was really happy for me. So actually the hero got two girls. He got the girl that he works with and he got the girl that he buys real estate from. So, I've got my New York girl and my local flavor. Life is good. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: [On phone] About 10 minutes ago. No, I didn't know what to say. Yes, I know. Um, I don't know, mom, he's my best friend. Yeah, he's great. Yeah, I think I am. [Jim enters] I have to go. I will. Listen, Jim... [They kiss]

Michael organizes a casino night for charity, but inadvertently invites two dates, his boss Jan Levinson and his realtor Carole Stills. He ends up beginning a relationship with Carol. Jan reacts calmly, but later leaves early with an overnight bag, revealing that she had intended to stay with Michael. Jim considers transferring to another branch, but is hesitant to say exactly why. At the casino night, Jim finally reveals to Pam that he is in love with her. At first, Pam claims that she does not feel the same, but later the two share a kiss.

fd_Doctor_Who_08x04

fd_Doctor_Who_08x04_0

[ GADGETS CLICK ] The Doctor: (quietly) Listen! [SCENE_BREAK] [TARDIS] The Doctor: Question. Why do we talk out loud when we know we're alone? Conjecture. Because we know we're not. Evolution perfects survival skills. There are perfect hunters. [ ROARING ] The Doctor: There is perfect defence. Question. Why is there no such thing as perfect hiding? Answer. How would you know? Logically, if evolution were to perfect a creature whose primary skill were to hide from view, how could you know it existed? It could be with us every second and we would never know. How would you detect it, even sense it, except in those moments when, for no clear reason you choose to speak aloud? What would such a creature want? What would it do? Well? What would you do? [ HE LAUGHS CHALK ROLLS SHE SIGHS CHATTER AND LAUGHTER SHE SIGHS ] [Restaurant] Danny: Hey. Clara: Hey. Sorry. So the famous drink at last. Danny: Yeah. Took a bit of time, family stuff, but here we are. Clara: Dinner, in fact. Danny: Yeah, straight to dinner. Clara: I like a man who moves fast. Danny: Yeah? I might go straight for extras. Afters. Dessert. Clara: Yes, I know, I know, dessert. Danny: Straight to dessert. Clara: Gotcha. Danny: So, er, how was your day? Clara: Good. You know. Teaching. Danny: Yep, teaching. Clara: Teaching, teaching. Danny: Totally teaching. Clara: We probably shouldn't talk about work. Danny: God, yeah. [ THEY LAUGH ] Clara: Though, do you take Courtney for anything? [ HE LAUGHS ] Danny: Are you serious? Clara: She said she couldn't concentrate on her work, because my face was too wide. Danny: Wide? Clara: I could kill that girl some days. Danny: Me too. Clara: And from you, that means something. Danny: Sorry? I dug twenty three wells. Clara: I'm sorry? Danny: Twenty three wells. When I was a soldier. Twenty three. Clara: Okay. Good. Good wells. Danny: Yeah, they were good, actually. Clara: I'm not doubting the quality of your wells. Danny: Whole villages saved. Actual towns full of people. People I didn't shoot. People I kept safe. Clara: Okay. Point taken. Seriously. Danny: So why doesn't that ever get mentioned? Clara: I'm sorry I didn't mention your twenty three wells. Waiter: Excuse me? Clara: Sorry. Waiter: Er, water for the table? Clara: Don't you worry. He'll probably dig for it. [ HE LAUGHS ] Danny: Sorry. Clara: It's okay. Danny: Sensitive subject. Clara: Yes. Can slightly see that. Danny: Sometimes people like you get the wrong end of the stick. Clara: People like me? Danny: I wasn't making assumptions about you. Clara: That really is exactly what you were doing. Danny: You were making assumptions about me. Clara: I made a joke. Danny: A not-funny joke. Clara: Yeah, well, do you know what I'm making now? Danny: A fuss? Clara: An exit. [ SHE SIGHS ] [SCENE_BREAK] [Clara's Room] The Doctor: You just have to squeeze through. Clara: Doctor? The Doctor: Why do you have three mirrors? Why don't you just turn your head? Clara: What are you doing in here? The Doctor: You said you had a date. I thought I'd better hide in the bedroom in case you brought him home. Bit early, aren't you? Did it all go wrong, or is this good by your standards? Clara: It was a disaster and I am extremely upset about it, since you didn't ask. The Doctor: Fine. I need you, for a thing. Clara: I can't. The Doctor: Oh, of course you can. Come on, you're free. More than usually free, in fact. Clara: No, it's just possible that I might get a phone call. The Doctor: From the date guy? It's too late. You've taken your make-up off. Clara: No, I haven't. I'm still wearing my make-up. The Doctor: Oh, right. Well, you probably just missed a bit. Come on, come on, come on, come on. [SCENE_BREAK] [TARDIS] Clara: I haven't actually said yes. The Doctor: Yes, you know sometimes when you talk to yourself, what if you're not? Clara: Not what? The Doctor: What if it's not you you're talking to? Proposition. What if no one is ever really alone? What if every single living being has a companion, a silent passenger, a shadow? What if the prickle on the back of your neck, is the breath of something close behind you? Clara: How long have you been travelling alone? The Doctor: Perhaps I never have. Clara: It looks like your handwriting. The Doctor: Well, I couldn't have written it and forgotten, could I? Clara: Have you met you? What's all this? The Doctor: Dreams. Accounts of dreams, by different people, all through history. You see, I have a theory. Clara: I'll bet you have. What theory? The Doctor: I think everybody, at some point in their lives, has the exact same nightmare. You wake up, or you think you do, and there's someone in the dark, someone close, or you think there might be. [ GASPING ] The Doctor: So you sit up, and turn on the light. And the room looks different at night. It ticks and creaks and breathes. And you tell yourself there's nobody there, nobody watching, nobody listening, nobody there at all... [ WIND WHISTLES ] and you very nearly believe it. You really, really, try and then... [ HISSING GASPING ] The Doctor: There are accounts of that dream throughout human history. Time and time again, the same dream. Now, there is a very obvious question I'm about to ask you. Do you know what it is? Clara: Have you had that dream? The Doctor: Exactly. Clara: No, that was me asking you. Have you had that dream? The Doctor: I asked first. Clara: No, I did. The Doctor: You really didn't. Clara: Okay, yeah, probably. Yes. But everyone dreams about something under the bed. The Doctor: Why? Just hold on tight. If anything bites, let it. Clara: What is it? The Doctor: TARDIS telepathic interface. You are now in mental contact with the TARDIS, so don't think anything rude. Clara: Why not? The Doctor: It might end up on all of the screens. The TARDIS is extrapolating your entire timeline, from the moment of your birth, to the moment of your death. Clara: Which I do not need a preview of. The Doctor: I'm turning off the safeguards and navigation, slaving the TARDIS to you. Focus on the dream. Focus on the details. Picture them, feel them. The TARDIS will track on your subconscious and extract the relevant information. It should be able to home in on the moment in your timeline when you first had that dream. And then, we'll see. Clara: What will we see? The Doctor: What's under your bed. [ METALLIC THRUMMING ] Clara: Ooo! The Doctor: Okay, now don't get distracted. Remember, you are flying a time machine. [ METALLIC THRUMMING PHONE RINGS ] The Doctor: No, no. Don't you dare. No, don't. Don't, don't. Just ignore it. Okay, that's good. That worked. We're here. Clara: Sorry, I think I got distracted. The Doctor: No, no, no, no, no. The date's fine. Come on. Clara: Come on where? The Doctor: Your childhood. [ SHE GROANS ] [SCENE_BREAK] [Ext. Night] The Doctor: The West Country Children's Home. Gloucester. By the ozone level and the drains, mid-nineties. You must have been here when you had the dream. Clara: Never been to Gloucester in my life, and I've never lived in a children's home. The Doctor: You've probably just forgotten. Have you seen the size of human brains? They're hilarious. Little you must be in here somewhere, with your little brain. Clara: Isn't it bad if I meet myself? The Doctor: It is potentially catastrophic. Clara: So why did you bring me out here? The Doctor: I was still talking. I needed someone to nod. Probably best for you to wait in the TARDIS. Clara: Doctor, I The Doctor: See you in a minute. TARDIS. Clara: Doctor. If I had have been distracted, what would have happened? The Doctor: We would probably have ended up in the wrong place. But don't think we have, because the time zone's right. I won't be long. Rupert: What are you doing down there? Clara: Nothing. Er, I'm just. What's your name? Rupert: Rupert. Clara: Oh. Okay. Hello, Rupert. Rupert: Rupert Pink. It's a stupid name. Clara: No, it isn't. I know somebody called Pink. Rupert: I meant Rupert. I'm going to change it. Clara: Why are you awake? Are you scared? [SCENE_BREAK] [Children's Home] [ BUZZING DOOR OPENS TV IN BACKGROUND ] Reg: How did you get in? The Doctor: Your door must be faulty. Reg: An inspection? It's two in the morning. The Doctor: When better? Do you always work here nights? Reg: Most nights, yes. The Doctor: Do you ever end up talking to yourself? Reg: All the time. It's this place. You can't help it. The Doctor: What about your coffee? Reg: My coffee? The Doctor: Sometimes, do you put it down, and look round, and it's not there? Reg: Everybody does that. The Doctor: Yes. Everybody. [ TV GOES OFF ] The Doctor: Who turned your telly off? Reg: It does that. It just goes off. The Doctor: Hmm. [SCENE_BREAK] [Rupert's] [ DOOR CREAKS ] Clara: Hello. Rupert: Hello. Clara: Nice room. You know, you should have more than one chair. What do you do when people come round? Rupert: Sit on the bed. Clara: Why aren't you sitting on it, then? Do you think that there's something underneath it? Hey, everyone thinks that, sometimes. That's just how people think at night. Rupert: Why? Clara: Did you have a dream? A hand grabbing your foot? You have, haven't you? You've had that exact dream. Rupert: How did you know? Clara: Do you know why dreams are called dreams? Rupert: Why? Clara: Because they're not real. If they were, they wouldn't need a name. Rupert: What are you doing? Clara: Do you know what's under there? Rupert: What? Clara: Me! Come on, It's perfectly safe. See? Nobody here, except us. Rupert: Sometimes I hear noises. Clara: It's a house full of people. Of course you hear noises. Rupert: They're all asleep. Clara: They're all dreaming. Rupert: Can you hear dreams? Clara: If you're clever enough. But they can't harm you. You know, sometimes we think there's something behind us. And the space under your bed is what's behind you at night. Simple as that. There's nothing to be afraid of. [ DOOR OPENS RUPERT GASPS ] Clara: (quietly) Who else is in this room? Rupert: (quietly) Nobody. Clara: (quietly) Someone must have come in. Rupert: (quietly) Nobody came in. [ CREAKING ] Clara: Hello? Who's this? This is a friend of yours playing a game. Playing a trick, are you, hey? A little trick on Rupert here? Okay. It's not funny this, you know. The Doctor: Where is he? Clara: Doctor? The Doctor: I can't find him. Can you find him? Clara: Find who? The Doctor: Wally. Clara: Wally? The Doctor: He's nowhere in this book. Rupert: It's not a Where's Wally one. The Doctor: Well, how would you know? Maybe you just haven't found him yet. Rupert: He's not in every book. The Doctor: Really? Well, that's a few years of my life I'll be needing back. Are you scared? The thing on the bed, whatever it is, look at it. Does it scare you? Rupert: Yes. The Doctor: Well, that's good. Want to know why that's good? Rupert: Why? The Doctor: Let me tell you about scared. Your heart is beating so hard, I can feel it through your hands. There's so much blood and oxygen pumping through your brain, it's like rocket fuel. Right now, you could run faster and you could fight harder, you could jump higher than ever in your life. And you are so alert, it's like you can slow down time. What's wrong with scared? Scared is a superpower. It's your superpower. There is danger in this room and guess what? It's you. Do you feel it? Do you think he feels it? Do you think he's scared? Nah. Loser. Turn your back on him. Rupert: What? The Doctor: Yeah, turn your back on him. Come on. You too, Clara. Clara, your back, now. Do it. Just do it now. Turn your back. Do it now, turn your back. Lovely view out this window. Clara: Yeah. Come and see all the dark. The Doctor: The deep and lovely dark. We'd never see the stars without it. Now, there are two possibilities. Possibility one, it's just one of your friends standing there, and he's playing a joke on you. Possibility two, it isn't. Clara: So, plan? Plans are good. The Doctor: You on the bed, I'm talking to you now. Go in peace. We won't look. Just go. If all you want to do is stay hidden, it's okay. Just leave. [ RUPERT GASPS ] Clara: Is it gone? The Doctor: Don't look round. Not yet. Rupert: I can't hear anything. The Doctor: Don't look round. Look away! Look away now! Don't look at it! Don't look round. Don't look round. Don't look at the reflection. Rupert: What is it? The Doctor: Imagine a thing that must never be seen. What would it do if you saw it? Rupert: I don't know. The Doctor: Neither do I. Close your eyes. Rupert: What? The Doctor: Close your eyes. You too, Clara. Give it what it wants. Prove to it that you're not going to look at it. Make a promise. A promise you're never going to look at it. Rupert: I promise never to look. The Doctor: The breath on the back of your neck, like your hair's standing on end. That means, don't look round. [ DOOR SLAMS ] Clara: Gone. The Doctor: Gone. Rupert: He took my bedspread. The Doctor: Oh, the human race. You're never happy, are you? Rupert: Am I safe now? The Doctor: Nobody's safe, especially not at night in the dark, Anything can get you. And all the way up here, you're up here all alone. What was that for? Clara: Shut up, leave this to me. These yours? Rupert: They're the home's. Clara: They're yours now. The Doctor: People don't need to be lied to. Clara: People don't need to be scared by a big gray-haired stick insect, but here you are. Stay still, shut up. See what I'm doing? This is your army. The Doctor: Plastic army. Clara: Sit! And they're going to guard under your bed. You see this one? This is the boss one, the colonel. He's going to keep a special eye out. Rupert: It's broken, that one. It doesn't have a gun. Clara: That's why he's the boss. A soldier so brave he doesn't need a gun. He can keep the whole world safe. What shall we call him? Rupert: Dan. Clara: Sorry? Rupert: Dan, the soldier man. That's what I call him. Clara: Good. Good name. Rupert: Yeah. Would you read me a story? It'll help me get to sleep. Clara: Sure. The Doctor: Once upon a time. The end. Dad skills. [SCENE_BREAK] [TARDIS] Clara: So is it possible we've just saved that kid from another kid in a bedspread? The Doctor: Entirely possible, yes. The bigger question is, why did we end up with him, and not you? Clara: I got distracted. The Doctor: But why that particular boy? You don't have any. You don't have any kind of connection with him, do you? Clara: No. No, no, no. Of course not. Why do you ask? The Doctor: The TARDIS was slaved to your timeline. Theoretically, there should have been some connection. Clara: Will er, will he remember any of that? The Doctor: Scrambled his memory. Gave him a big old dream about being Dan the soldier man. [ SHE SIGHS SHE SOBS ] The Doctor: Are you okay? Clara: Doctor, I am sorry to ask, and, you know, I realise this is probably against the laws of time, or summat. Er, could you do me a favour? [SCENE_BREAK] [Ext. Restaurant] Clara: Is that what I look like from the back? The Doctor: It's fine. Clara: I was thinking it was good. The Doctor: Really? [ TRAFFIC IN BACKGROUND LAUGHTER AND CHATTER ] [Restaurant] Clara: Sorry. Danny: Hey. Clara: Hello. I'm Clara Oswald. I'm a bit tricky, sometimes a bit up myself, and I do not like my surname, but I think that's basically everything you need to worry about. Danny: Hello, I'm. I'm sorry Clara: Also, I mouth off when I'm nervous and I've got a mouth on me. Seriously, it's got a mind of its own. I'm really worried it wants to go solo. Danny: I don't know what to say. Clara: Don't say anything. Or say something nice. Danny: I like your name. Clara: It's a start. Danny: Oswald. It suits you. Clara: Drifting now. Danny: Yeah, it's better than Pink. Clara: No, Pink, Pink is nice. I like pink. Danny: You can have it. Clara: Ooo, a bold offer, Mister Pink. Danny: I meant. You, no Clara: I know, I know. Danny: Why can't I speak today? Clara: It's that foot you're keeping in your mouth. Danny: Is that where I put it? Clara: Anyway. Clara Pink. Too much. Danny: Yeah, it is a bit much. Clara: Mind you, Rupert Pink. [ GLASS DROPS IN THE BACKGROUND ] Danny: Sorry? Clara: Er, ha, ha. Rupert Pink. It's not good. Danny: Rupert? Clara: Yeah. That was your name, yeah? Danny: Who told you that? Clara: Er, someone in the school. [ SHE CLICKS HER TONGUE ] Danny: No, I haven't used that name for years. Clara: I cannot remember who it was. Danny: Are you making fun of me? Clara: No. No, no, no. No way. Danny: Is this a joke? Clara: Danny, nothing about this is any kind of joke. [ DOOR CREAKS ] Danny: Where's your coat? Clara: My what? Danny: You put your coat on when you left. Clara: Er, I'm really sorry. Danny. There is something I should probably be honest about. Danny: How about everything? Clara: Everything, in my case, is actually quite a lot. Danny: Well, that's weird. Clara: No, no, no, it's not weird. Not really Where are you going? Danny: I don't do weird. Clara: Don't go. Danny: Then do something for me, Tell me the truth, because I know when people are lying to me. However weird this thing may be, just tell me the truth. Clara: It's not weird... Exactly. Danny: I've had enough. [ SHE SIGHS ] [SCENE_BREAK] [TARDIS] Clara: I am trying to have a date. A real life, inter-human actual date! It's a normal nice, everyday, meeting-up sort of thing. And I would just like to know, is there any other way you can make this any more surreal than it already is? Orson: Hello. The Doctor: Ah, Clara! Well done, you found her. Now this is really a bit strange. Clara: Danny? The Doctor: What's gone wrong with your face? It's all eyes! Why are you all eyes? Get them under control. Orson: Er, who's Danny? The Doctor: This is Colonel Orson Pink, from about a hundred years in your future. Clara: Orson Pink? The Doctor: Yeah, I laughed too. Sorry. Do you have any connection with him? Clara: Connection? The Doctor: Yes, maybe you're like a distant relative or something? Clara: How, how would I know? The Doctor: Right. Okay. (to Orson) Er, well, do you have any old family photographs of her? You know, probably quite old and really fat-looking? Orson: I don't. Clara: How did you find him? The Doctor: Well, you left a trace in the TARDIS telepathic circuits. I fired them up again and the TARDIS brought me straight to him. So he is something to do with your timeline. Clara: Okay. The Doctor: And you'll never guess where I found him. [SCENE_BREAK] [Capsule] Clara: Where are we? The Doctor: The end of the road. This is it, the end of everything. The last planet. Clara: The end of the universe? The Doctor: The TARDIS isn't supposed to come this far, but some idiot turned the safeguards off. Listen! [ SILENCE ] Clara: To what? The Doctor: Nothing. There's nothing to hear. There's nothing anywhere. Not a breath, not a slither, not a click or a tick. All the clocks have stopped. This is the silence at the end of time. Clara: Then how did he get here? If he's from a hundred years in my future The Doctor: Pioneer time traveller. Rode the first of the great time shots. They were supposed to fire him into the middle of the next week. Clara: What happened? The Doctor: He went a bit far. Clara: A bit? The Doctor: A big bit. Look at him now. Robinson Crusoe at the end of time itself. The last man standing in the universe. I always thought that would be me. Clara: It's not a competition. The Doctor: I know it's not a competition. Course it isn't. Still time, though. Clara: He looks like he's packing. The Doctor: He's been stranded for six months, just met a time traveller. Of course he's packing. Orson: You can do it, then? You can get me home? The Doctor: I just showed you, didn't I? A test flight to a restaurant. Orson: Yes, but to my family, to my own time? The Doctor: Easy. I can do that, can't I, Clara? Clara: He can, yes. Orson: Is everything okay? Clara: Yeah, fine. I'm fine. Orson: Do I know you? Clara: No. Nope. The Doctor: Is she doing the all eyes thing? It's because her face is so wide. She needs three mirrors. Clara: Doctor. The Doctor: We can't leave immediately, though. The TARDIS needs to recharge. Clara: Sorry. What? The Doctor: Overnight, that should do it, shouldn't it, Clara? Orson: Overnight? The Doctor: One more night. That's, that's not a problem, is it? Orson: No. No, no problem. The Doctor: It's a shame, isn't it? Orson: What's a shame? The Doctor: There's only three people left in the universe, and you're lying to the other two. It was the first thing I noticed when I stepped in here. You must have seen it, too, Clara. You've got eyes out to here. Clara: Seen what? The Doctor: The universe is dead. Everything that ever was is dead and gone. There's nothing beyond this door but nothingness for ever. So why is it locked? Orson: Please, don't make me spend another night here. The Doctor: Afraid of the dark? But the dark is empty now. Orson: No. No, it isn't. [SCENE_BREAK] [TARDIS] Clara: You'll be safe in here. Nothing gets through those doors, I promise. Orson: And you two are going to wait out there? Clara: That would seem to be the plan. Wait for what exactly? Orson: Why can't we just leave? Clara: Like he said, it's recharging. Orson: You didn't look like you believed him. Clara: That's just how my face looks when he talks. Orson: It's just a silly toy thing. A family heirloom, supposed to bring good luck. Clara: Right. Yes. Didn't do a very good job, did it? Orson: It did. You're here, aren't you? What were the chances of you two finding me? Clara: Orson, do me a favour. Take my advice. When you get home, stay away from time travel. Orson: It runs in the family. Clara: What? Sorry, what do you mean, runs in the family? Orson: Nothing. It's just silly stories one of my grandparents. well, great-grandparents Clara: What is it? Tell me. You asked if you knew me. It's a family heirloom? Orson: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] [Capsule] Clara: What are we doing? The Doctor: Waiting. Clara: For what? For who? If everybody in the universe is dead, then there's nobody out there. The Doctor: That's one way of looking at it. Clara: What's the other? The Doctor: That's a hell of a lot of ghosts. Clara: Do you have your own mood lighting now? Because, frankly, the accent is enough. [ CREAKING ] Clara: Where did that come from? The Doctor: It's always been there. It's only visible in the night lights. Clara: But who wrote it? The Doctor: Colonel Pink. Apparently, at night, he needs a reminder. Six months stranded alone, I suppose it must be tempting. Clara: What is? The Doctor: Company. [ CREAKING ] Clara: What's that? The Doctor: What kind of explanation would you like? Clara: A reassuring one? The Doctor: Well, the systems are switching to low power. There are temperature differentials all over this ship. It's like pipes banging when the heating goes off. Clara: Always thought there was something in the pipes. The Doctor: Me, too. Who were you having dinner with? Clara: Are you making conversation? The Doctor: I thought that I would give it a try. Clara: I told you. A date. The Doctor: Serious? Clara: It's a date. The Doctor: A serious date? Clara: Do I have to bring him to you for approval? The Doctor: Well, I would like to know about his prospects. If you like, I can pop ahead and check them out. Clara: Frankly, you've already done enough. [ SCREECH ] The Doctor: Atmospheric pressure equalising Clara: Or? The Doctor: Company. Clara: Why are we doing this? Why don't we just go? The Doctor: Because I need to know. Clara: Why? About what? The Doctor: Suppose that there are creatures that live to hide. That only show themselves to the very young or the very old, or the mad, or anyone who wouldn't be believed. Clara: Okay, so... The Doctor: What would those creatures do when everyone was gone? When there was only one man left standing in the universe? [ METALLIC KNOCKING ] Clara: What's that? The Doctor: Potentially, the hull cooling. Clara: Potentially? The Doctor: Believably. [ KNOCKS AGAIN ] The Doctor: Someone knocking. Yes. [ KNOCKING CONTINUES ] Clara: Doctor, you don't actually believe all this, do you? Hiding creatures, things from under the bed. The Doctor: What's that in the mirror, or the corner of your eye? What's that footstep following, but never passing by? [ KNOCKING AGAIN ] Clara: Did we come to the end of the universe because of a nursery rhyme? [ KNOCKING INTENSIFIES ] Clara: That's you turning it, right? The Doctor: No. Get in the TARDIS. Clara: Why? The Doctor: I have to know. Clara: Doctor. Doctor The Doctor: The TARDIS, now! Clara: Okay, okay. Somebody is out there. Now we know, we can leave. Oh, Doctor! The Doctor: It's a pressure lock. Releasing it could've triggered the opening mechanism. Clara: Is there even an atmosphere out there? The Doctor: There is an air shell round the ship. Why are you still here? Clara: Because I am not going to leave you in danger! The Doctor: Then you will never travel with me again, because that is the deal! TARDIS, now! Do as you are told! Clara: You're an idiot. The Doctor: I know. [SCENE_BREAK] [TARDIS] Orson: What's happening? Clara: He's opening the door. [SCENE_BREAK] [Capsule] The Doctor: Perhaps they're all just waiting, perhaps when we're all dead, out they'll come a-slithering from underneath the bed. [SCENE_BREAK] [TARDIS] Clara: Oh, no, no, no, not now, come on! Oh! Always when it's important! [ THUMPING ] Clara: What's happening? [ BEEPING ] Clara: What's that? Orson: The alarm. The air shell's breached. Stay here. Clara: Is he okay? Orson: He's out cold. He'll be fine, though. Clara: Something hit him. Orson: Everything was flying out of that door. Clara: Could've been that. Orson: Yeah. Clara: What was out there? What were you so afraid of? Orson: I've been here a long time. My own shadow, probably. Clara: Yeah. [ SUDDEN RUMBLING ] Orson: That's probably just the rest of the air escaping. Clara: You say probably a lot. [ BANGING ] Orson: We are safe? Nothing can get in here, right? Clara: Probably. [ HISSING ] Orson: Have you got a plan? Clara: Telepathic circuits. I left a trace in them before. Orson: So? Clara: So apparently, that can do a thing. Orson: What, that's your plan? Clara: It's not a plan, it's a thing. (quietly) Okay. Come on, come on, you can do it! [ HE GASPS ] Clara: Come on! Sorry. [ RUMBLING ] Clara: Here we go! Come on. Come on! [ METALLIC THRUMMING ] Clara: Come on. Come on! [ THRUMMING STOPS ] Orson: Is that it? Clara: I don't know. I think so. Orson: Where are we? Clara: Somewhere else. I hope. No, no, no, you stay and look after the Doctor. Orson: You can't go out there by yourself. Clara: Thing is, my timeline, it keeps on. Orson, you don't want to meet yourself. It's really embarrassing. [Barn] [ DOOR CREAKS SOBBING SOBBING CONTINUES SOBBING CONTINUES ] Clara: Rupert? [ SOBBING CONTINUES ] Clara: Orson? [ SOBBING CONTINUES DOOR OPENS ] Man: Why does he have to sleep out here? Woman: He doesn't want the others to hear him crying. Man: Why does he have to cry all the time? Woman: You know why. Man: There'll be no crying in the army. Woman: Hush. Man: Don't pretend you're not awake. We're not idiots. Woman: Come and sleep in the house. You don't have to be alone. If you can hear me, you're very welcome in the house, with the other boys. I'll leave the door on the latch. Come in any time. Man: He can't just run away crying all the time if he wants to join the army. Woman: He doesn't want to join the army. I keep telling you. Man: Well, he's not going to the Academy, is he, that boy? He'll never make a Time Lord. [SCENE_BREAK] [TARDIS] The Doctor: Sontarans! Perverting the course of human history! Orson: (quietly) Doctor? The Doctor: You're confusing me. What? Shut up, shut up. Where's Clara? [SCENE_BREAK] [Barn] The Doctor (O.C.): Clara! Clara! Boy: Hello? Who's there? Hello? Clara: It's okay. This is just a dream. Just lie back again. Just lie back on the bed. It will all be okay if you just lie down and go to sleep. Just do that for me. Just sleep. [ SOBBING ] Clara: Listen... [SCENE_BREAK] [TARDIS] Orson: What happened? What did you see? What's out there? Clara: What if there was nothing? What if there never was anything? Nothing under the bed, nothing at the door. What if the big bad Time Lord doesn't want to admit he's just afraid of the dark. The Doctor: Where are we? Have we moved? Where have we landed? Clara: Don't look where we are. Take off, and promise me you will never look where we've been. The Doctor: Why? Clara: Just take off. Don't ask questions. The Doctor: I don't take orders, Clara. Clara: Do as you're told. [ METALLIC THRUMMING ] Clara (O.C.): Listen... [SCENE_BREAK] [Barn] Clara: This is just a dream. But very clever people can hear dreams. So, please, just listen. I know you're afraid, but being afraid is all right. Because didn't anybody ever tell you? Fear is a superpower. Fear can make you faster and cleverer and stronger. And one day, you're going to come back to this barn. And on that day you're going to be very afraid indeed. But that's okay. Because if you're very wise and very strong, fear doesn't have to make you cruel or cowardly. [SCENE_BREAK] [TARDIS] Clara (O.C.): Fear can make you kind. The Doctor: No, no. Not the hugging. No, no, no. I'm against the hugging. Please. [SCENE_BREAK] [ DOORBELL RINGS ] [Danny's] Danny: I am so Clara: I know. [SCENE_BREAK] [Barn] Clara: It doesn't matter if there's nothing under the bed or in the dark, so long as you know it's okay to be afraid of it. [SCENE_BREAK] [Danny's] Danny: And I just get nervous. Clara: Me too. Danny: I don't even know what I'm nervous of. Clara (O.C.): I'll show you. So, listen. If you listen to nothing else, listen to this. [SCENE_BREAK] [Barn] Clara: You're always going to be afraid, even if you learn to hide it. Fear is like a companion. A constant companion, always there. But that's okay, because fear can bring us together. Fear can bring you home. I'm going to leave you something, just so you'll always remember, fear makes companions of us all.

After a failed date with Danny, Clara returns to her home to find the Doctor awaiting her. He seeks a creature he believes has perfected its ability to hide and is related to a childhood fear everyone has of a hand grabbing someone's leg from under the bed. Clara tries to home in on her childhood using the TARDIS' telepathic circuits, but lands at the children's home where Danny, as a boy called Rupert, grew up. The Doctor comforts Rupert from his fear when an something under his bed spread scares him. After failing to apologise to Danny on the date, Clara is beckoned back to the TARDIS by time traveller Orson Pink. Clara is taken to the end of the universe where Orson's ship was stranded and the Doctor attempts to observe the hiding creature. When something on the ship knocks the Doctor out, Clara triggers the TARDIS' departure to a barn, where she finds a crying child. Hiding beneath the bed, she realises that the child is the Doctor. When the boy gets up, Clara accidentally grabs his leg. She comforts him with the Doctor's previous advice to Rupert. Orson is returned home, and Clara and Danny reconcile.

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COLONY IN SPACE BY: MALCOLM HULKE 6:10pm - 6:35pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: INT. LEESON'S DOME (MORGAN looks up at the DOCTOR.) MORGAN: So what do you think happened? DOCTOR: Well, I think the whole thing has been faked by someone who wanted to frighten the colonists away. MORGAN: Well, these claw marks, I mean, something made them. DOCTOR: Yeah, they could have been faked by some sort of mechanical device. (MORGAN stands up and operates the remote control for the ROBOT.) MORGAN: You mean with something like this? (The ROBOT glides into the room. In place of the two metal hands are two mock "monster" hands - complete with razor sharp claws. The DOCTOR spins round.) DOCTOR: Yes, yes - exactly like this! MORGAN: By the time they find you, the monster will have claimed another victim. (The DOCTOR turns back to MORGAN and is about to jump him but the miner is too quick and raises his gun.) MORGAN: Keep back! Purely business, you understand. Nothing personal... DOCTOR: Now, if you fire that thing...you'll spoil your whole story. Monsters don't carry guns! (MORGAN moves his gun-carrying hand towards the remote control. With a cry and a karate kick, the DOCTOR knocks the implements out of the assassin's hands and then chops the man flying into a cupboard. MORGAN is half-stunned but recovers enough to run out of the dome. The DOCTOR backs away from the flailing arms of the ROBOT. He crouches down to the floor and edges to the dropped remote control. He manages to reach it and smashes it against a wrecked table. The ROBOT falls quiet and a relieved DOCTOR gets to his feet.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2: INT. MAIN DOME. ENTRANCE HALL (JO wearily turns a wheel for a turbine generator, which is attached to the main dome's radio. MARY ASHE sits at the radio.) MARY ASHE: (Into radio.) You'll have to keep going on your individual power units. Main dome out. (She switches off the radio as ASHE walks by, sees them and walks over.) MARY ASHE: (To JO, wearily.) Oh, take a rest. JO: I could do with it. ASHE: (To MARY.) What's happening? MARY ASHE: Have they had any luck with the relay circuits? ASHE: I don't know - Norton and Winton are still working on it. MARY ASHE: All the domes have been screaming for power. ASHE: I've been checking the stock of individual power units. We've only got enough to last us a few days. JO: Well then what? ASHE: No power for machinery, no heat, no light - we're finished. JO: I wish the Doctor was here. He'd be able to fix it for you. Look, he has been gone rather a long time. You said you'd be able to go and look for him. ASHE: (Snaps.) I've got rather more to worry about than your friend, you know! The whole life of this colony is in danger! JO: Yes, I know, but he was trying to help you. ASHE: (Calmer.) Yes, yes, I'm...I'm very sorry. I'll send someone to look for him. JO: Thank you. (WINTON walks into the fenced off area where the radio is held.) ASHE: Any luck? WINTON: Norton say's it's impossible. ASHE: Well that's it then. (JO suddenly hears an engine type noise.) JO: What's that? (The other colonists listen.) ASHE: It sounds like a spaceship! (The sound grows louder.) ASHE: It must be going to land right by us! (He runs towards the entrance.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3: INT. IMC ROCKET. CONTROL ROOM (Aboard the spaceship, DENT and CALDWELL sit in two commands facing a monitor screen. On it is displayed the rocky surface of the planet.) VOICE: (Over tannoy.) Radar ... confirm terrain firm. DENT: Keep main retrorockets steady. Altitude report? VOICE: (Over tannoy.) One hundred meters. Descent rate now at minimum. DENT: Activate landing stabilizers. (On the monitor, the ground rushes upward and the dome appears.) VOICE: (Over tannoy.) Landing stabilizers in position. DENT: Final altitude report. (The dome grows closer.) VOICE: (Over tannoy.) Twenty meters...fifteen meters...ten...nine...eight...seven...six...five... (The men all brace themselves. The ship judders as it hits the ground.) VOICE: (Over tannoy.) We have contact. DENT: Cut motors. (DENT gets out of his chair.) CALDWELL: You've landed practically in their laps. DENT: I never like walking. (CALDWELL follows him. DENT picks up a folder and speaks to one of the IMC men - LONG - who sits at one of the desks.) DENT: Now, I'd better go and make friends. Close down all systems - we shall be here some time. LONG: Yes sir. (DENT walks off watched by a worried CALDWELL.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4: INT. MAIN DOME. ENTRANCE HALL (Having met ASHE and WINTON, DENT walks into the dome with them.) DENT: I can assure you, Mr. Ashe, I'm as surprised as you are. How long have you been here? ASHE: More than a year now. You realize this planet has been assigned for colonization? DENT: No, not according to my company. We've been assigned full mineral rights. ASHE: Then your people must have made a mistake. DENT: Or yours. In any event, we're both here, so there's only one remedy - we shall have to send for an Adjudicator. WINTON: (Simmering.) Well, we know all about that. It takes years to reach a decision and by then, you've chewed up the entire planet. DENT: I'm sure you agree we must apply the proper procedures. ASHE: Well, yes I suppose so... WINTON: (Interrupting, angrily.) Procedures nothing, Robert! (To DENT.) This planet's ours - and the sooner you're off it, the better! ASHE: David! (ASHE pulls the man back. At that moment, a distraction is caused as the DOCTOR walks into the dome.) JO: (Delighted.) Doctor! (She rushes up to him and hugs him.) JO: What happened? Are you all right? DOCTOR: Yes, I'm fine Jo, fine. (He sees DENT and walks over to him as other colonists including NORTON gather.) DOCTOR: Sorry if that spoils your plans, Captain Dent! DENT: My plans? I...don't understand. DOCTOR: (To ASHE.) I was to have been another victim of their imaginary monsters. They're trying to frighten you off this planet. DENT: That's a very serious allegation, Doctor. DOCTOR: Yes, and one that I shall have great pleasure in bringing before the proper authorities. (To ASHE.) You say there's some sort of procedure? ASHE: Yes, we're going to send for an Adjudicator. DOCTOR: Good. I'm sure he'll be very interested in hearing what I have to say. ASHE: (To DENT.) Well? DENT: I refuse to listen to this man's... "ravings" any longer. I'll send a message to the Adjudicator's bureau right away. If you'll excuse me. (He walks out watched by the silent colonists. WINTON turns to the DOCTOR.) WINTON: He really tried to kill you? DOCTOR: Oh yes! Yes, the IMC people are using a robot to fake these monsters. WINTON: Doctor, those monsters were real - I saw them! DOCTOR: Optical trickery so that you think you can see monsters...and a robot with claws so that you can see their effects. The immobilized robot is at Leeson's dome. Or it was - they've probably removed it by now. ASHE: This is unbelievable! DOCTOR: Yes, well, don't worry old chap. When the adjudicator hears of IMC's methods, he's bound to decide in your favor. WINTON: Yes, if we're still here. DOCTOR: Why shouldn't we still be here? ASHE: We're in a middle of a power breakdown. Jo said that you might be able to fix it. DOCTOR: Well, I'd be only too pleased, but at the moment I'm looking for some lost property. It's a box, erm... (He holds up his hands to describe the shape of the TARDIS.) DOCTOR: A tall blue box like... (JO overhears and realizes what he is talking about.) JO: Doctor! You haven't lost the TARDIS?! DOCTOR: Well no, I haven't exactly lost it. Let's say it's temporarily mislaid. JO: But don't you realize, without the TARDIS we're stranded? ASHE: Look Doctor, the whole life of this colony is in danger! Now, we'll help you look for your blue box later. DOCTOR: Yes, all right. Come on, show me what's wrong. (He starts to lead ASHE away.) JO: But Doctor... DOCTOR: Later, Jo, later. (ASHE and the DOCTOR leave, with ASHE describing their problem as they go.) ASHE: The relay circuits have been completely destroyed... (NORTON steps forward up to WINTON with a smile on his face JO and MARY watch.) NORTON: What's he talking about? Optical trickery? I've been hunted by those things. You've seen them. WINTON: I saw something. It could have been faked. NORTON: I tell you the man's crazy! Those creatures are real and you know it! (JO steps forward.) JO: (Firmly.) If the Doctor says they were faked, they were faked. (WINTON walks a few paces away.) WINTON: Yes, but he hasn't mannered...managed to produce any evidence, has he? JO: Well, why don't we do something? WINTON: Such as what? JO: Well, we could find some proof. WINTON: Where? JO: We could start with the IMC spaceship. (WINTON overhears this...) [SCENE_BREAK] 5: INT. IMC ROCKET. CONTROL ROOM (MORGAN is de-briefing DENT over what happened at Leeson's dome. DENT is as calm and cold as ever.) MORGAN: There was nothing I could do! DENT: The Doctor told everyone what happened. MORGAN: Did they believe him? DENT: I'm not sure. (The door to the room opens and CALDWELL walks in. He puts a rock sample down on DENT'S desk.) CALDWELL: These look very good. Have you sent for an adjudicator? DENT: Not yet. CALDWELL: But you are going to? DENT: Of course - legality must always be maintained. CALDWELL: (Smiles.) What are you two going to say when the Doctor tells the adjudicator his story? (DENT looks coldly at CALDWELL but before he can answer, a buzzer sounds on the console in front of him. He presses a switch.) DENT: (Into microphone.) IMC control room? [SCENE_BREAK] 6: INT. MAIN DOME. ROOM (The caller is NORTON who speaks into a small radio in a darkened room.) NORTON: (Into microphone.) Norton to IMC. Urgent message: two colonists are about to enter your ship. [SCENE_BREAK] 7: INT. IMC ROCKET. CORRIDOR (WINTON stealthily makes his way down a corridor. He sees the deactivated ROBOT in the corridor. He turns and signals to JO. She walks up and looks over the ROBOT as WINTON examines a doorway.) WINTON: Jo! (He signals her to follow and they move off. After they have gone, the ROBOT comes to life and turns as a metal corridor door marked "EMERGENCY BULKHEAD" slides quietly down into place.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8: INT. IMC ROCKET. ANOTHER CORRIDOR (WINTON and JO pass a notice board that displays the IMC logo and the sign "OFFICIAL NOTICES".) [SCENE_BREAK] 9: INT. IMC ROCKET. ANOTHER CORRIDOR (They hide round a corner as LONG passes. When he has gone, they carry on. Another bulkhead slides down.) [SCENE_BREAK] 10: INT. IMC ROCKET. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE CONTROL ROOM (They reach a doorway marked "COMMUNICATION DECK". WINTON is examining the door when it silently slides open. The room beyond is in darkness. JO and WINTON look at each other. They enter and the door slides shut.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11: INT. IMC ROCKET. CONTROL ROOM (Within, the lights in the room suddenly come on. JO and WINTON spin round to see DENT with MORGAN and IMC guards - all armed. DENT stares coldly at the intruders.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12: INT. MAIN DOME. POWER ROOM (In the darkened power room, the DOCTOR makes final adjustments with a screwdriver to the unit in the center of the room. A nervous ASHE watches.) DOCTOR: There you are. I think that should do it. (He moves to a wallboard and flicks a switch. Instantly, the room is flooded with light and the hum of power fills the air. ASHE sighs and smiles.) ASHE: I'm really very grateful, Doctor! I'd better get power out to the outlying domes. (ASHE moves to another junction box and flicks further switches as the DOCTOR moves back to the central unit.) ASHE: How long will it keep going? DOCTOR: Eh? Well, as long as you want it to, of course. You say that somebody else has been trying to repair this relay circuit? ASHE: Yes, Norton. DOCTOR: Well, he didn't make a very good job. In fact one might almost think that he'd been trying to make things worse. (Before ASHE can answer, MARY runs in.) MARY ASHE: Doctor! There's a message for you from the IMC ship. DOCTOR: What? MARY ASHE: Captain Dent says he wants to see you. DOCTOR: What about? MARY ASHE: Something to do with Jo Grant. (The DOCTOR looks in alarm at ASHE.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13: INT. IMC ROCKET. CONTROL ROOM (The DOCTOR walks into the IMC control room where DENT and several IMC men wait.) DENT: Good of you to come so promptly, Doctor. (DENT sits. The DOCTOR walks up to him followed by MORGAN.) DOCTOR: All right, Captain Dent, where's Jo Grant? DENT: Under arrest. She was caught attempting to rob this spaceship. DOCTOR: (Angrily.) You've got no right to hold her...! DENT: (Interrupting.) You are acquainted with interplanetary laws? She's committed a capital offence. (The DOCTOR calms at this statement.) DOCTOR: I see. All right, what do you want? DENT: When the adjudicator arrives you will withdraw your ridiculous accusations. (The DOCTOR'S temper rises again.) DOCTOR: That's quite out of the question, and I repeat: where is Jo Grant! DENT: Not here, Doctor. She is rather uncomfortably placed. Do you know anything of our survey methods? DOCTOR: (Puzzled.) What? DENT: An explosive charge is laid and activated by remote control. I have only to press... (He points to a red button on his console.) DENT: ...this button. (The DOCTOR realizes DENT'S meaning.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14: INT. PRIMITIVE RUIN (JO and WINTON are held in a rough brick-built Primitive ruin. In the center of the bare floor is a black ridged bomb. JO and WINTON are on the ground and handcuffed by large devices, which surround the wrists and hold the hands together. Metal chains run from the cuffs to spikes in the floor next to the bomb. An IMC man - ALLEN - hammers in WINTON'S spike into the ground. ALLEN activates a switch on the bomb, which begins to emit a humming sound, and a red light on the top begins to flash. WINTON tugs at his chains.) ALLEN: I wouldn't do that - not until I've gone. Once the charge is primed, these things are very sensitive. In fact...I wouldn't move at all. (ALLEN picks up the hammer and walks off. Despite the advice, WINTON immediately starts to try to free himself as JO looks round.) JO: What is this place? WINTON: Primitive dwelling. Rather aptly named. (Smiles.) Well? What do we do now? JO: (Smiles.) Try and escape? WINTON: Of course! [SCENE_BREAK] 15: INT. MAIN DOME. ASHE'S OFFICE (ASHE sits at his desk speaking to the DOCTOR who has returned to the dome.) ASHE: But this is abominable, Doctor! I'll go and see Captain Dent at once! (He stands up.) DOCTOR: (Sharply.) What good will that do? Dent'll deny everything and you'll be putting Jo's life at risk. ASHE: Then we must organize a search. DOCTOR: Look, Dent's spaceship is only a few hundred yards from this dome. He'll be monitoring us on his scanners. ASHE: Well, what if he is? DOCTOR: (Shouts.) Use your head, man! If he sees the slightest sign of a search, he'll detonate that charge! [SCENE_BREAK] 16: INT. PRIMITIVE RUIN (JO falls over as she tries to pull free.) WINTON: Be careful, Jo! (JO gets back up, covered in sand and dust.) WINTON: You'll blow us all sky high. (WINTON sees something on the bomb.) WINTON: Wait a minute...this thing's just been unpacked. JO: So? WINTON: Well, there's still some grease on the casing. JO: I get you. (JO puts her hands out towards the side of the bomb facing WINTON.) JO: But, I can't reach. Look, if you can get some on my wrist... (WINTON collects some grease and rubs it on JO'S wrist.) WINTON: You'll have to try and pull your hands through. It won't be very easy. JO: Well, I...took a course in escapology - once. (WINTON starts to pull at JO'S cuffs.) WINTON: Steady... (JO grimaces as WINTON pulls harder, then...) JO: Pull! (WINTON is able to yank the cuffs off.) WINTON: Now back to the dome and warn Ashe! (JO looks round and starts to collect two large rocks.) JO: I'm not leaving here without you! WINTON: Look, don't you see this is just the evidence we need for the adjudicator? JO: (Firmly.) I'm not leaving here without you! (JO places WINTON'S chain on one rock and starts hammering at it with another.) JO: Oh! (She succeeds in knocking the bomb, causing an alarm to sound from it. JO and WINTON look at it in horror...) [SCENE_BREAK] 17: INT. IMC ROCKET. CONTROL ROOM (Within the rocket, an alarm sounds on a wall console behind DENT.) DENT: Something's happening. (To MORGAN.) Who's guarding the girl? (LONG passes MORGAN a clipboard with a duty roster which MORGAN reads.) MORGAN: Allen. (DENT switches on a radio.) DENT: (Into radio.) Captain Dent to security guard Allen. ALLEN: (OOV: Over radio.) Receiving you. DENT: (Into radio.) Check up on your prisoners. [SCENE_BREAK] 18: INT. PRIMITIVE RUIN (JO continues to hammer at WINTON'S chain. Finally she succeeds. WINTON runs to a hole in the wall leading to the outside and looks round.) WINTON: There are no guards - quick! This way, Jo! (JO is about to follow but ALLEN runs in from another part of the ruin and grabs her. She screams.) ALLEN: Stay where you are! (ALLEN fires a gun and the bullet hits WINTON. JO struggles madly in ALLEN'S grasp stopping him from firing again...) JO: Run, run! (...and giving the wounded colonist the chance to make a dive for the hole in the wall.) JO: Oh, please, no! Run, Winton, run! You'll be killed! (ALLEN fires again but is unsuccessful.) JO: No, no! (JO continues to struggle as ALLEN pulls out a radio.) ALLEN: (Into radio.) Security guard Allen to Captain Dent. Male prisoner has escaped. [SCENE_BREAK] 19: INT. IMC ROCKET. CONTROL ROOM DENT: (Into radio.) You've still got the girl? ALLEN: (OOV: Over radio.) Yes sir. DENT: (Into radio.) From now on, stay where you can see her. ALLEN: (OOV: Over radio.) What about the explosive charge, sir? DENT: (Into radio.) Don't worry. I'll give you plenty of warning. (He switches off the radio as MORGAN steps forward, awaiting orders.) DENT: Send some guards after the man. MORGAN: Do you want him brought back alive? (DENT looks at MORGAN in answer...) [SCENE_BREAK] 20: EXT. UXARIEUS (The chase for WINTON begins. An IMC buggy drives at top speed across the surface of the planet but they fail to see the wounded fugitive crouched down behind a rock, the cuffs still on his hands. After they have gone, WINTON runs up a track but sees another buggy approaching him over the brow of the hill. He turns and runs in another direction. The buggy gives chase. WINTON stumbles and falls through a pit of muddy sludge but he carries on. The buggy comes to a halt and the two IMC men get out and start firing. WINTON sees them following in the distance and continues his escape but he is close to exhaustion. He sees a small metallic tent a few yards ahead with a piece of equipment outside out tended by CALDWELL. The miner gets a gun out of his buggy and cocks it. WINTON closes his eyes in resignation and gets up. He walks towards CALDWELL. The two IMC men run up a slope towards CALDWELL'S survey unit. They hear several shots, pause, then run on, but...) CALDWELL: (Shouts.) Don't bother! I got him for you! (The two IMC men catch their breath and then waves their thanks.) IMC MAN: Okay. Right. (They walk off. WINTON lies at CALDWELL'S feet. After a moment...) CALDWELL: It's all right. They've gone. (WINTON opens his eyes.) [SCENE_BREAK] 21: INT. SURVEY UNIT (CALDWELL half-carries WINTON into his survey "tent". He helps WINTON onto a small bunk bed but the colonist cries out in pain.) CALDWELL: All right. (CALDWELL takes his helmet off and prepares to examine the young man.) CALDWELL: You'll be all right here. (He takes out of his belt a thin metallic pencil-like device. He points it at WINTON'S cuffs and presses a button. It emits an electronic noise and the cuffs spring open. CALDWELL takes them off totally and puts them on a side table.) CALDWELL: Now I'd better have a look at you. (He takes a metal box down from a shelf and takes a another small electronic device out of it. He pulls WINTON'S jacket open. WINTON again cries out in pain.) CALDWELL: All right, all right. (CALDWELL, his fingers now coated with WINTON'S blood, activates the device, which gives him a read-out.) CALDWELL: Yes, you're lucky...and you're lucky we've got these. (CALDWELL indicates his advanced first-aid kit out of which he takes a syringe-type device.) WINTON: (Weakly.) Why are you helping me? CALDWELL: I'm not one of Dent's killers. I'm a miner. (CALDWELL presses the syringe to WINTON'S chest. He presses a button and the solution enters. WINTON grimaces again, then calms.) WINTON: Thank you. CALDWELL: Why were they after you? WINTON: We were hostages. There was a girl with me, they've...still got her. (CALDWELL looks torn by guilt as he tries to help the young man...) CALDWELL: You go back to the colony and persuade your friends to get off this planet. WINTON: We're waiting for the adjudicator. (WINTON manages to sit up.) CALDWELL: (Shouts.) Look! (He shows WINTON a rock.) CALDWELL: Do you know what that this - those veins? It's duralinium. This is the richest source we've ever found. Now IMC want this planet and they're going to have it! WINTON: The adjudicator's decision is law. If he says we can stay... CALDWELL: (Interrupts, impatiently.) Even adjudicators can be dealt with! Oh, get your people off this planet before someone else is hurt. [SCENE_BREAK] 22: INT. MAIN DOME. ASHE'S OFFICE (NIGHT) (The DOCTOR, ASHE, NORTON and a group of colonists are collected in ASHE'S office. ASHE holds up a map.) ASHE: It's dark now so they can't use their scanners. (He points at various places on the map.) ASHE: We'll start the search at the Primitive caves here, then onto the Primitive ruins here and here. (A vastly recovered WINTON rushes into the room and immediately picks up a rifle, which he starts checking over.) ASHE: Winton! DOCTOR: Winton, where's Jo? WINTON: IMC have still got her. DOCTOR: What, you left her? WINTON: Doctor, there was nothing else I could do. DOCTOR: Well how did you get away? WINTON: One of the IMC men helped me but I had to leave Jo in the Primitive ruins. ASHE: Then we'll have to get over there at once! WINTON: Well, they'll have moved her by now. ASHE: Then we must organize a search. WINTON: No - we're going to mount an attack on their spaceship. We're going to try and get them to surrender, make them release Jo and then get them off this planet. ASHE: We're not going to start a war! WINTON: Now look, Robert - I've been chained to a bomb, hunted and shot at. As far as I'm concerned, the war's already started. (ASHE is about to speak but WINTON stride out of the room with his rifle.) DOCTOR: (To ASHE, urgently.) You've got to stop him. Dent'll shoot them down and be glad of the excuse! ASHE: It seems the decision has been taken out of my hands. WINTON: (OOV: In the entrance hall.) Come in, dome three. Come in, dome three. [SCENE_BREAK] 23: INT. MAIN DOME. ENTRANCE HALL (NIGHT) (WINTON is on the radio. The DOCTOR walks out of ASHE'S office and up to him.) WINTON: (Into radio.) Report to main dome immediately - do you read me? COLONIST: (OOV: Over radio.) Yes, I read you. DOCTOR: Did you say one of them helped you? WINTON: Yes - Caldwell, their chief mineralogist. DOCTOR: Well, where was he? WINTON: He had a survey tent pitched in the north sector. DOCTOR: Can you direct me there? WINTON: Well, why? DOCTOR: Well, I've got to talk to him. The only way we can save Jo now is with help from the inside. [SCENE_BREAK] 24: INT. SURVEY UNIT (NIGHT) (CALDWELL is running a small probe over a sample of rock. The DOCTOR enters unseen.) DOCTOR: Ah, Caldwell. (CALDWELL jumps and reaches for his gun but sighs heavily when he sees who it is.) DOCTOR: Working out your future bonuses? CALDWELL: What do you want? DOCTOR: I want your help. CALDWELL: I work for IMC. (The DOCTOR takes his gloves off and sits down uninvited.) DOCTOR: Did you know that Captain Dent had given orders to have me killed? CALDWELL: (Feigning disinterest.) No. DOCTOR: Or that they'd taken Jo Grant prisoner and may kill her? CALDWELL: Look, Dent's just bluffing to...to scare you into keeping quiet. (The DOCTOR leans forward and switches CALDWELL'S rock probe off. The miner looks exasperated.) DOCTOR: Tomorrow morning, the colonists are going to attack your spaceship. (CALDWELL looks closely at the DOCTOR upon hearing this news.) CALDWELL: Then you'd better stop them. The guards will mow them down. DOCTOR: I know. That's why I'm here. There's something that you can do to help me. CALDWELL: What? DOCTOR: Release Jo Grant before the attack starts. (CALDWELL sighs...) CALDWELL: All right, I'll do what I can. But you'd better stop that attack, Doctor. It won't be battle - it'll be a slaughter. [SCENE_BREAK] 25: INT. IMC ROCKET. CONTROL ROOM (The next morning, MORGAN winds a small tape recorder back and then plays the tape.) VOICE ON TAPE: Your message received from Captain Dent. Confirm an adjudicator is in your present galactic sector and is now on his way. Message ends. (DENT enters the room.) MORGAN: Message from Earth control. An adjudicator's on his way. DENT: Did they say who? MORGAN: No. DENT: Doesn't matter. Allen's still guarding the girl? (CALDWELL enters the room.) MORGAN: Yes, but I'd better send someone to relieve him. CALDWELL: Never mind about relieving that guard, Morgan. You just have the girl brought back here. (DENT looks coldly at the man in surprise.) DENT: What are you talking about? CALDWELL: Now you heard me - have her brought back! DENT: You're not in command of this ship. CALDWELL: I'm in command of the mining operation. If the girl isn't brought back, the survey stops. DENT: You'd be breaking your contract. CALDWELL: You'd have to explain to head office. DENT: (To MORGAN.) Have her brought back. (DENT sits at his desk and starts work as MORGAN goes over to the radio set.) DENT: Caldwell, you've just committed professional suicide. (CALDWELL turns away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 26: INT. PRIMITIVE RUIN (JO lies asleep on the floor, again chained to the bomb. ALLEN bends down, wakes her and starts to release her.) ALLEN: Come on. You're going back to the spaceship. JO: Why? What for? (ALLEN pulls her to her feet.) ALLEN: I'm just obeying orders. Get a move on. (As they are about to walk out, three Primitives walk in through one of the strangely shaped triangular doors in the walls of the ruin which leads to another room. One of them has a spear, the second a knife. ALLEN pulls out a gun.) JO: Don't shoot! (But ALLEN shoots the Primitive with the spear. The second throws his knife hitting ALLEN in the chest. JO screams. The two Primitives surround the frightened young girl.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27: INT. MAIN DOME. ASHE'S OFFICE (This time it is WINTON who sits in ASHE'S chair as he convenes a planning meeting of the colonists prior to the attack. An angry DOCTOR tries to reason with him.) DOCTOR: You make a frontal attack like that, and Dent'll blast you down without a second's thought! WINTON: (Wearily.) We've got them outnumbered. DOCTOR: What difference does that make?! That ship is like a fortress and the men are trained! By the time the adjudicator arrives...well, he will have killed them all and claimed it was self-defense. (WINTON stands.) WINTON: Now look, Doctor, we're going to attack this morning and that's final! DOCTOR: (Quietly.) I see. Well, you leave me no alternative. If I can't stop you, I must help you. WINTON: (Suspiciously.) Oh yes - how? DOCTOR: By giving you a piece of good advice - unless you want IMC warned, I'd keep a very close watch of our friend Norton. (The colonists look at each other in surprise.) WINTON: And secondly? DOCTOR: By helping you devise a less idiot plan of attack! [SCENE_BREAK] 28: EXT. IMC ROCKET (LONG and another IMC man stand guard at the entrance to the rocket. MARY ASHE walks innocently up to them.) LONG: Where do you think you're going? MARY ASHE: I believe you've got a friend of mine in there. LONG: Well, we wouldn't know about that. (Distracted, the two men don't see the DOCTOR and WINTON edging round the base of the rocket.) MARY ASHE: But I was told she was here. I was expecting to meet her. LONG: This in an IMC ship - there are none of your people in here. (The DOCTOR and WINTON are able to sneak up behind the two IMC men. The DOCTOR taps LONG on the shoulder.) DOCTOR: Excuse me... LONG: What the...? (The DOCTOR and WINTON chop and club the two men to the ground. The DOCTOR puts the finishing touch to LONG with a finger hold to a neck nerve. They drag the two men away watched by a delighted MARY ASHE.) [SCENE_BREAK] 29: INT. IMC ROCKET. CONTROL ROOM (CALDWELL stands over DENT as he tried to contact ALLEN.) DENT: (Into microphone.) Captain Dent to security guard Allen, come in please and report your position. (The only reply is static.) [SCENE_BREAK] 30: INT. PRIMITIVE RUIN (ALLEN lies on the floor of the ruin. DENT'S voice comes over the radio held in the dead man's hands.) DENT: (OOV: Over radio.) This is Captain Dent to security guard Allen, do you read me? [SCENE_BREAK] 31: INT. IMC ROCKET. CONTROL ROOM DENT: (Puzzled.) I can't raise him. CALDWELL: (Angrily.) Come on, Dent, where's that girl? DENT: The receiver's on and working...but he's not answering. [SCENE_BREAK] 32: INT. IMC ROCKET. CORRIDOR (MORGAN walks down a corridor deep in thought. He passes two unfamiliar IMC guards - the DOCTOR and WINTON dressed in the IMC tunics. MORGAN stops and turns, but not before the DOCTOR has a chance to dive down a side corridor. MORGAN calls out to WINTON.) MORGAN: Hey! You! (He pulls out a gun.) MORGAN: Come here! (The two men walk towards each other. From the side passage, the DOCTOR karate kicks the gun out of MORGAN'S hand. The miner lunges out and manages to press a button and the ship echoes to an electronic alarm. The DOCTOR and WINTON grab MORGAN and pull him away as two armed IMC men run into the corridor, however two similarly armed colonists appear at the near end of the corridor and a gun battle erupts. The colonists are the victors. In the side corridor, WINTON holds MORGAN'S gun to his neck.) WINTON: All right, the control room! Move! (They pull him away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 33: INT. IMC ROCKET. CONTROL ROOM (Hearing the alarm, DENT speaks into the ship's communication system while CALDWELL watches.) DENT: (Into microphone.) Captain Dent to security section, what's going on? Report immediately. (The door to the room slides open and MORGAN is led in by the DOCTOR and WINTON.) WINTON: I'm afraid your guards are rather busy, Captain! (Leaving MORGAN to WINTON, the DOCTOR strides over to the Captain.) DOCTOR: All right, Dent, where's Jo Grant? (DENT switches off the alarm.) DENT: She's vanished, Doctor. I can't contact her guard. (The room starts to fill with colonists. The DOCTOR turns to CALDWELL.) DOCTOR: Is this true? CALDWELL: I think so. (The DOCTOR turns to WINTON.) DOCTOR: I'll leave them to you. (He leaves. WINTON walks over to DENT, gun raised.) DENT: You know this is an act of piracy punishable by death under interplanetary law? WINTON: Never mind the speeches, Captain. Order your guards to surrender - now. [SCENE_BREAK] 34: INT. MAIN DOME. ENTRANCE HALL (Back in the dome, the DOCTOR discards his IMC uniform helped by ASHE.) DOCTOR: All I can do is go down to those Primitive ruins and start searching from there. ASHE: I know where they are, Doctor. I'll take you there. DOCTOR: Good. Well, Winton seems to have seized control. I only hope he can keep it. ASHE: Quite so. DOCTOR: We've got to find out what's happening in those Primitive ruins - and where they've taken Jo. [SCENE_BREAK] 35: INT. PRIMITIVE RUIN (The DOCTOR and ASHE reach the Primitive ruin. The DOCTOR examines ALLEN and finds out that he is dead.) DOCTOR: Err, seems as if the Primitives are no longer friendly. ASHE: Well, what do you expect? Norton killed one. DOCTOR: Yes, and Morgan tried to kill another. Where would the Primitives have taken Jo - to their city? ASHE: I'm afraid so. DOCTOR: Afraid? ASHE: In the early days, one or two of our people went down there. There were rumors of creatures that lived in the ruins. DOCTOR: Well, did they find them? ASHE: We don't know - they never came back. [SCENE_BREAK] 36: EXT. PRIMITIVE CITY ENTRANCE (JO is led down a small gully by four Primitives. One of them goes up to a rock wall and gestures to the others. A door in the rock creaks open, revealing an entrance. JO is led into it.) [SCENE_BREAK] 37: INT. PRIMITIVE CITY. ENTRANCE PASSAGE (Inside the darkened interior, JO looks round in fear as the door closes behind the group.)

The Doctor makes it back to the colony and warns Ashe what Dent is up to but when Jo and Winton try to find proof they are captured.

fd_Charmed_01x09

fd_Charmed_01x09_0

[Scene: Salem, Massachusetts, 1692. A turnkey opens a cell in a jail. Matthew walks in.] Melinda: Matthew. Matthew: Hello, Melinda. Melinda: Why? Why did you betray me? Matthew: You got what you deserved. Melinda: So you've never loved me? All the passion, all the heat? Matthew: I had to make you trust me. It was the only way to share your powers. Melinda: And so now you have them. So why would you turn me in? You know I'll burn. Matthew: I had to keep my secret. Melinda: Well, you can keep your trinkets too. (She pulls off a locket that was around her neck and throws it at him.) Matthew: I'll find another witch to give it to. (He opens the locket.) Melinda: Maybe not. (He takes out a little piece of paper and it catches on fire. He throws it on the ground.) Matthew: What magic is this? Melinda: I'm taking back the powers you stole from me. "Outside of time, outside of gain, no only sorrow, no only pain." (It gets really windy and Matthew gets sucked into the locket.) [Scene: Bucklands. Prue's office. Rex puts some jewellery on Prue's desk. He picks up the locket and tries to open it. Prue walks in.] Prue: Rex? Rex: Ah, good morning, Prue. I've, uh, left a few things for you to catalogue. A marvelous shipment from an estate back east. Prue: I'll get right on it. Rex: Thanks. (Rex leaves. Prue sees the locket and picks it up. She opens it. The door slams shut and Matthew comes out of it.) Matthew: At last, freedom. The world has changed. What time is this? Prue: Excuse me? Matthew: Where am I? Prue: Who are you? Matthew: Matthew Tate, and if you freed me from that locket you are descendant of Melinda Warren. (He walks closer to her and she uses her power and he flies across the room.) Thank you. Prue: For what? Matthew: I tricked you into using your power on me. Now, I have it. (He uses her power and a chair pushes her against the wall. He then disappears, she runs in the middle of the room and he appears behind her.) Behind you, witch. Prue: How did you do that? Matthew: I can share your power but you can't share mine. Prue: What do you want? Matthew: I want what Melinda took from me. I want all three powers back. (He grabs her.) Defend yourself. Stop time. Prue: I can't. Matthew: Ah, so you're not alone. There are others. (He disappears and appears in front of the desk.) And the family name is now Halliwell. Rex: (from outside) Prue, are you okay in there? (Matthew uses Prue's power to break the glass on the window. He jumps out the window and floats down to the ground, landing on his feet. He walks away.) Opening Credits [Scene: Outside Bucklands. Police are there where Matthew jumped out the window. Andy and Morris are questioning a man.] Man: I was just sitting there, you know, reading the sports, having a cup of joe and 'bam', this guy comes flying out of nowhere, you know. Weird clothes, bad manners, he nearly fell right on top of me. Morris: When you say fell... Man: I mean fell, you know, like from way up there, I guess. I don't know. Morris: That's a ten story drop, sir. Andy: Twelve. Morris: And you're telling us that he just got up, walked away without a scratch. That's what you're saying. Andy: Got a better explanation? Morris: Excuse us. (Andy and Morris walk away.) Alright, Trudeau. Pull out your secret ghost hunter decoder ring and let's hear it. (Andy laughs.) Andy: Morris, I don't know, okay. All I know is whatever happened started up there in that office. Morris: Uh huh. So let's find out who's office that is. Andy: I already know. It's Prue's. [Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Leo's under the sink, fixing it. Phoebe's sitting at the table and Piper's standing up.] Piper: So I suggested we add crab saut to the, uh, lunch menu and it was great. Sold out. Do you like crab, Leo? Leo: You know what I'd love, Piper? Piper: What's that? Leo: Is the, uh, ratchet extension. Could you hand that to me? Piper: Sure. (Piper looks in his toolbox but doesn't know what it is. Phoebe walks over and pulls out the ratchet extension.) I knew that. (She takes it off Phoebe and gives it to Leo.) Here you go. Leo: Thanks. Piper (whispering to Phoebe) Stop it. Go away. (She tries to get Phoebe to leave.) Be right back, Leo. Leo: No problem. (Piper and Phoebe go in the dining room.) Piper: Stop it. Phoebe: My sentiments exactly. Stop hitting around and ask him out already. Give him some of your crabs. Piper: Don't be disgusting. Phoebe: Don't be so shy. Piper: What if he says no? Phoebe: Yeah, like that'll happen. Piper: No, I'm serious. Phoebe: So am I. Piper: I'm very serious. I've never... you know... Phoebe: You are kidding, right? Piper: No. Phoebe: You've never asked a guy out before? Piper: Not on a real date, no. Phoebe: I don't understand. Am I the only person in this family who's inherited the "take a chance" gene? Piper: Probably. Cause if I remember my biology correctly, it's attached to the "can't mind my own business" gene. Phoebe: Ooh. Go. (Phoebe pushes her back in the kitchen. Leo comes out from under the sink.) Leo: Well, part of the pipe is stuck. I'm almost finished here. Piper: Terrific. Can I get you some tea? Leo: Yeah, that'd be great. (Piper gets the tea out of the fridge. Phoebe walks in.) Phoebe: What would be great? Piper: Nothing. (Piper puts the tea on the bench and Phoebe accidentally knocks it off. Piper freezes if before it falls on the floor.) Leo? Phoebe: Frozen. Quick, have your way with him. Piper: Do you never stop? (Phoebe laughs. Piper holds a bucket under the tea.) Phoebe: Looks like a Kodak moment to me. (She pretends to take photos.) Piper: Phoebe, you're such a help. Phoebe: Smile. (Leo and the tea unfreeze. Prue walks in.) Prue: You guys, we are in serious problems. (Phoebe points to Leo.) Uh, hi Leo. Leo: Hey Prue. Prue: Hey, uh, sisters. Upstairs now. [Scene: Bucklands. Prue's office. Police are there. Andy's questioning Rex and Hannah.] Hannah: Uh, Webster, Hannah Webster. Andy: You said you heard some noises in here. What kind? Hannah: Uh, it's hard to say. Rex: It almost sounded like a, a struggle of some sort. A fight perhaps. Hannah: Yeah, and, and then we heard a crash and I assumed that was the window breaking and we came in to check on Prue and then she just went running out. Morris: What did she say? What happened? Hannah: Nothing, actually, she just left. Rex: She was quite agitated too. Andy: She didn't say where she was going by any chance did she? Rex: No, no, sorry. Morris: Okay, thanks, Mr. Buckland. CSI will be done with the windows in a couple of hours and you can have them fixed. Rex: Believe me, Inspector. I really don't care about the window. I only care about Prue. (Rex and Hannah leave.) Morris: Look, maybe you oughta ask the captain to assign somebody else. Andy: Prue and I aren't dating anymore, there's no conflict okay. I'm fine with this. Morris: Okay. [Cut to Rex's office. Rex and Hannah are there.] Rex: I thought that went exceedingly well. Didn't you? Hannah: We may have proven the legend of the locket true and that the little witch is charmed but now we have a seventeenth century warlock running around. I think he'll stick out. Rex: Yep, but then again if the legend does hold true, Matthew's got a one track mind. Just like we do. He won't be difficult to find. Stop worrying, Hannah. You'll get wrinkles on your horns. [Scene: Attic. Prue, Piper and Phoebe are there.] Piper: What did you say his name was? Prue: Matthew Tate and somehow he knows that we're related to Melinda Warren. Phoebe: The Book of Shadows Melinda? Our ancestor? Piper: The one who burned at stake and started this whole mess. Prue: Uh, he came out of the locket. And he has strong powers. Stronger than mine, I mean, he did the weirdest thing. One minute he was in front of me, the next he was behind me and then twelve stories down landed right on his feet. Phoebe: If it walks like warlock, and talks like a warlock... Prue: Yeah, well, he's powerful and he means business. And he wants all three of our powers. Phoebe: Can I see the locket? (Prue hands the locket to Phoebe.) Prue: We have to figure out who he is before he finds the two of you. (Phoebe opens the locket and has a premonition.) Phoebe: You said Matthew came out of the locket? I think I just saw Melinda put him in. Prue: You saw the past? Piper: But you only see the future. Phoebe: Not anymore. Prue: We always knew that our powers would grow. Phoebe: Yes, but somehow I thought I was gonna get to fly. (Prue and Piper smile.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: An attorney's office. He is on the phone.] Attorney: They want to counter sue? Fine, bring it on, I'll eat 'em alive. Plus, we can double bill and get away with it. (Matthew blinks in the room.) Excuse me. (He hangs up the phone.) Matthew: Are you Arnold Halliwell? Arnold: Yeah, and who are you? Robin Hood? (Matthew uses telekinesis and Arnold flies up against the wall.) Matthew: Tell me where your sisters are. Arnold: Which sisters? I'm an only child. Let me go or I'll sue you... (Matthew breaks his neck.) Matthew: Lawyers have not changed. [Scene: Manor. Attic. Prue, Piper and Phoebe are there. Phoebe's looking at a photo album and Piper's reading a book.] Phoebe: I was right. It was Melinda in my vision. Isn't she beautiful. Prue: Hmm. She kind of looks like mum. Piper: Listen to this. "And because the warlock had stolen her love, she cursed him into the pewter heart, where he could spend eternity knowing the sting of betrayal." Phoebe: That must be what I saw. Prue: And I let him out early. Great. Piper: You're not kidding. The legend says that the warlock must never be freed or he will destroy the Warren line. That'd be us. Phoebe: Yeah, well, he'll have to take a number and get in line behind the others warlocks. Prue: We've never been up against anyone like him before. Phoebe: So, what do we do? Piper: I say we hide. Prue: No, we have to find out exactly what we're up against. And we start with the locket and how it wound up on my desk. [Cut to the conservatory. Leo's there watching TV. Prue, Piper and Phoebe walk in.] Leo: Hey, Prue, your work's on the news, check it out. Reporter: This morning witnesses claim they saw a man fall twelve stories. He got up and walked away unharmed. Prue: We gotta find him before he hurts somebody else, especially an innocent. Phoebe: There's that 'I' word again. Piper: Look Andy's on TV. Phoebe: He's here, too. (The doorbell rings. Phoebe answers it.) Phoebe: Andy, what a surprise. How you been? Andy: I need to talk with Prue, Phoebe. Phoebe: Prue, wow. How out of the loop am I? And here I thought you guys broke up. Andy: It's not about that. It's police business. Phoebe: Oh, well, uh, she's not home. She's at work. Andy: No, she's not. Phoebe: Well, then, I don't know where she is, but I'll tell her that you stopped by, okay? Ciao! (Phoebe tries to leave but Andy grabs her arm.) Andy: A man fell out of Prue's office window. Which is suspicious enough. But then a man matching the same description went and killed a lawyer down the street. A lawyer named Halliwell. Now I know she knows who he is. One more time, Phoebe, where's your sister? Phoebe: Where's your warrant? (Phoebe goes back inside. Andy leaves.) [Cut to the living room.] Prue: Great, so now I'm being hunted by a warlock and the San Francisco P.D. Phoebe: Nobody ever said you led a boring life, Prue. Piper: Maybe Andy can help. Prue: Oh, yeah. You want to have that conversation with him? "Hey Andy, I hate to bother you but this seventeenth century warlock is trying to kill me and my sisters." Any thoughts? Piper: Okay, it was a bad idea. But the point is we need help. Prue: Yeah, well, unfortunately more than Andy can give. Phoebe: What we need is someone who's done this before, someone like Melinda Warren. Prue: Okay, so what are we supposed to do? Reach back in time, grab her and tell her that we need her help? Phoebe: Yes. And I know exactly how to do it. As long as you both don't mind losing a little blood. [Time lapse. In the attic. Prue, Piper and Phoebe are sitting around a table where they have placed candles, a dagger and other items.] Piper: Am I the only one having the second thoughts? Phoebe: Yes. Prue: We don't really have any others options. Piper: But aren't we, like, raising the dead? What if she's all... Phoebe: I read The Book of Shadows very carefully. She will come back as a real live person, flesh and blood. She will have her powers too. Our powers. (Phoebe picks up the knife.) Piper: What's that for? Phoebe: Well, the spell works by blood calling blood, so it shouldn't hurt... much. (Phoebe stabs her finger.) Phoebe: I lied, I lied. Okay, come on guys. It'll be just like the summer by the lake. Remember when we made a oath blood to be friends forever, not just sisters? (Prue takes the knife off of Phoebe.) Piper: I remember my finger got infected. (Prue stabs her finger.) Prue: Ow. Yeah, but the oath worked. (Prue holds out the knife for Piper.) Piper: And I couldn't go in the water for three weeks. Don't hand me that knife. Prue: How are you gonna cut yourself? Piper: I'm not. Phoebe: Piper... Piper: I can't stand the sight of blood. Prue: Evil beings have blown up in our attic... Phoebe: Disintegrated to dust right before our very eyes... Prue: And you're afraid of a little drop of blood? Piper: Okay, just cut my finger. (She holds out her hand.) Prue: (to Phoebe) You do it. (She hands Phoebe the knife. Piper covers her eyes and Phoebe stabs her finger.) Piper: Ow! Prue: Okay, here. (They squeeze their fingers and the blood drips into a locket. Phoebe closes it and places it in a bowl.) Phoebe: "Melinda Warren, blood of our blood..." Phoebe, Prue, Piper: "Our great, great, great, great, great, great, grandmother." Phoebe: "We summon thee." (Stardust floats through the air and Melinda appears.) Melinda: (smiles) Oh, blessed be. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Manor. Phoebe's room. Phoebe and Melinda are there. Phoebe unzips a dress.] Melinda: No, don't-don't rip the dress to make it fit me. Phoebe: Oh, no, no, I'm not ripping it. It's called a zipper, see? (Phoebe zips up the dress.) Melinda: Oh, a wise witch made this. (Melinda takes the dress off of Phoebe and plays with the zipper.) Phoebe: Yeah, and wise witches in this century keep a low profile. You slip this dress on, you'll blend right in. (Melinda starts putting on the dress.) Melinda: It's so odd to be here again. To breathe and feel. What sheep has wool so soft? Phoebe: A synthetic one. Melinda: Oh! (Phoebe zips up the dress.) So did it, did it take you long to make the dress? Phoebe: Make it? No, no, I bought it. Melinda: Oh, you must be rich. (Prue and Piper walk in.) Prue: No, she's got credit cards. Piper: Oh, wow, Melinda, you look great. Melinda: Thank you. Oh, but how do you keep your legs warm? Prue: We drink coffee. (Leo approaches the doorway.) Leo: Oh, sorry, I let myself in and it didn't occur to me. Piper: Leo, uh, it's okay. This is, uh... Phoebe: Our cousin, Melinda. Leo: Nice to meet you. Piper: Leo's fixing our plumbing. Melinda: What's that? Prue: Uh, we've got to go now. Melinda: To work with one's hands is a great gift. Leo: Well, I am a true labourer. I earn to eat, get that I wear. Melinda: Owe no man hate, envy no man's happiness. Leo, Melinda: Shakespeare. (Melinda giggles.) Prue: Wasn't that fun? Okay, let's go now. (They walk out of the room and Leo walks in.) Melinda: (to Piper) He is a treasure, Piper. Piper: Why you telling me? [Scene: Halliwell Hardware and Appliance. The store owner is dead and hooked up on the wall by some garden tools. Matthew is there. Rex and Hannah walk in.] Rex: Hello, Matthew. Hannah: We have got to do something about his clothes. Matthew: Who are you? How do you know me? Rex: Well, the short answer is we're the ones who gave the witch the locket to have you freed. I suppose you could say we're partners. Matthew: I work alone. Rex: No, not in this century you don't. You're new in town, new in time, you need our help. Hmm, I see you've been shopping. Find what you're looking for? Matthew: I want Melinda Warren's children. Hannah: Ooh, talk about your coincidences. Rex: You see, we have the means to find them for you. And you have to ability to take their powers. Come. (They turn to leave but Matthew doesn't move.) What? Matthew: How'd you find me? Rex: Prue Halliwell, a Halliwell attorney, now here. You are leaving a trail, my friend. And that has got to stop. [Scene: Manor. Dining room. Prue, Piper, Phoebe and Melinda are sitting at the table. Prue is putting the locket around Melinda's neck.] Melinda: Once Matthew had what he wanted, he told the town council I was a witch and they arrested me. Then they burned me at the stake. Piper: Why didn't you save yourself? Phoebe: Yeah, why didn't you use your powers to escape? Melinda: I had a daughter. Her name was Prudence. She meant everything to me. If I had used my powers, I would've proven Matthew's charge and Prudence would've burned too. So I thought, I'll accept this and pray some kind soul will take pity on my daughter and raise her in a safe home. Only then could the Warren line continue. And it must've worked because here you are. Phoebe: Why do Warren witches lose their mum's so early? Melinda: Phoebe, I can't change the past but I think I can protect the future. Prue: How? Matthew is so strong and he has this wild power. He can be at one place and then another. Melinda: In the blink of an eye? Prue: Exactly. Melinda: It's called blinking. He must've copied it from another witch. I stripped him of all the powers he copied from me but who knows what others powers he still has? Phoebe: What you mean copied from you? Melinda: Matthew's gift is to copy the power of a good witch when it's used against him. Prue: Then he definitely has mine. Melinda: Once he's copied a power, it has no effect on him. Should he gain all three powers, he will be impossible to vanquish. Prue: So what do we do? Melinda: We curse him back in the locket. Piper: And if we can't? (Silence.) [Scene: Bucklands. Rex's office. Hannah and Matthew are there. Matthew is putting on some jeans and Hannah is sitting on a chair with her back to him.] Matthew: Are these pants meant to be so tight? (Hannah peeks over her shoulder.) Hannah: Absolutely. Matthew: No wonder your men frown all the time. It's a wonder they can even walk. So, is this right? Hannah: Oh, yeah. Matthew: If it please you to look, look. Hannah: I wasn't looking... much. (He walks over to her.) Matthew: Why the false honesty? I, I don't understand. Hannah: Well, it's a very complex issue these days. I mean, there's political correctness, sexual harassment, um, don't get me started. Matthew: Hmm, what a strange time this is. So open, yet so closed. Where even a warlock feels shame. (Rex walks in.) Rex: Hannah... what the devil? Hannah: Rex, I told you I'd get him dressed. Rex: Yeah, ten minutes ago. Matthew: Well, we tried on many things. She said it is difficult to choose. Rex: Play time's over, big boy. You've got work to do. (Matthew walks away.) (whispering) Remember, he goes back from whence he came once his task is completed. [Scene: Manor. Prue, Piper, Phoebe and Melinda walk in the attic.] Melinda: I can't believe I don't remember all the ingredients. Prue: It's been a while since you cursed Matthew. Phoebe: Yeah, like three hundred years. Piper: Whatever you don't remember should be in the book. (They walk over to the Book Of Shadows.) Melinda: The Book Of Shadows. Oh, my, it's gotten so thick. Prue: It wasn't always? Melinda: No, no. But obviously each generation of Warren witches has added to it over the years and has made it so. Have you added anything? Phoebe: Us? Are you kidding? We're new at this. We can't just make up our own spell... wait, can we? Melinda: All things in time, Phoebe. The book will grow as you grow. Sometimes you add to it, sometimes it teaches you. Oh, here's the curse. (Prue hands her a pencil and paper. Melinda looks at it confused.) Prue: Just start writing. Melinda: No ink? Prue: No. (Melinda starts writing.) Melinda: Ha! (She smiles.) Piper: Grams must've added this one. (They look at the opposite page.) Melinda: "To Increase Patience." Phoebe: I bet she used that spell a lot raising us, huh? Prue: We weren't all troublemakers, Phoebe. Phoebe: I was not a troublemaker. I was just... Piper: A pain. Phoebe: A free spirit. Prue: A handful. Melinda: A Warren. The family trait. So are the short tempers, the great cheekbones, the strong wills, and of course the powers. All blessings, all signs of where you came from. This book is your connection and it began with me. Prue: Well, let's make sure it doesn't end with us. We need to get going. [Scene: Bucklands. Rex's office. Rex is showing Matthew pictures of Prue, Piper and Phoebe.] Rex: Now, this is Prue, you've already met. This is Piper, and this is Phoebe. Matthew: These are marvelous paintings. You can not feel the brush strokes. Hannah: Remind us to take you to the movies when this is all over. Rex: This is the address of Quake. Piper works there. May I suggest we go there next and take her power. Hannah will drive you. [Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Everyone's there. They are making a potion and Prue is staring out the window.] Melinda: The curse is really simple as long as you have the ingredients I need. Piper: Phoebe can do the spices and I'll chop the scallions. Phoebe: This is so cool. We've never done a curse before. Melinda: Oh, I'm glad. They're not to be taken lightly. Phoebe: I just feel like there's so much we could be learning or doing if we had the right teacher. Melinda: I'd savor my first gift before I move on to the next one. Phoebe: I see pictures. What's to savor? Melinda: No, but you see visions of the future and the past. That'll allow you to protect and to heal. Phoebe: Hmm. Did you hear that Prue? Piper: Prue, stop looking for Andy, he should be long gone by now. Prue: Yeah, he'll be back, probably with a warrant. Phoebe: Yeah, like Andy would ever arrest you. (Prue walks over to them.) Prue: So do we have everything? Piper: Actually there's a few herbs we don't have but I can get them at the restaurant. Phoebe: The only problem is the feather from the spotted owl. Melinda: Is that a problem? Prue: Well, they're an endangered species. Um, certain animals from your time aren't really around anymore. Melinda: Why? Phoebe: Deforestation, pollution... it's a long story. Piper: Do you think they have one at the zoo? Melinda: What's a zoo? Phoebe: In theory it's this big garden kind of place where all the animals are caged and... Prue: You know what? I'll work on the feather. Piper, can you handle the herbs? Piper: Uh, yeah, after I get to Quake, though I might have a problem getting out because I'm supposed to work the night shift. Phoebe: Well, I'll come with you and bring back the stuff if you get hung up. Melinda: No, you can't leave the house. You are the two Matthew needs. Piper: We'll be fine. How could Matthew even know about Quake? [Scene: Outside Quake. Hannah and Matthew are sitting in the car across the street.] Matthew: I've waited over three hundred years for my revenge. As soon as Piper gets here I shall have it. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Quake. Piper and Phoebe walk in.] Piper: You go ahead into the kitchen, I'm gonna cough over Martin and tell him I'm highly contagious so can I go home. Phoebe: Love the plan. (Phoebe goes in the kitchen. A waitress walks up to Piper.) Waitress: Hey, Piper. Did your sweetie find you? Piper: My What? Waitress: That guy with the English accent. He called earlier to see if you were working today. [Cut to the kitchen. Matthew and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is holding a rolling pin and Matthew is backing her into a corner. Phoebe goes to hit him with the rolling pin but he grabs it and throws it on the floor. He then grabs Phoebe and she has a premonition.] Matthew: Now I have your power. And I see Melinda's here. Good. She will die at my hand. (He pushes her on the ground and he blinks out of the room. Piper comes in.) Piper: Are you okay? Phoebe: Yeah. It was Matthew. He's gone, but he copied my power. [Scene: Outside Manor. Andy's sitting in his car that is parked across the street.] [Cut to inside. Prue and Melinda are walking down the stairs.] Prue: Alright, I found a spotted owl at the museum where I used to work. Stuffed. Melinda: But we only need one feather. Prue: Good. Maybe that'll keep it down to misdemeanor. Look, I'll be back as soon as I can. Melinda: Okay. (Prue leaves.) [Cut to outside. Prue drives down the street. Andy follows her.] [Cut back inside. Melinda walks in the kitchen. She sees a blender on the bench. She reaches over and presses a button. It turns on and she jumps back. She quickly reaches back over and turns it off. The phone rings. She looks around.] [Cut to Quake. Piper and Phoebe are sitting at the bar. Phoebe's on the phone.] Phoebe: Come on, answer. [Cut back to Melinda. She walks into another room and over to the phone. The machine picks up.] Phoebe's Voice: "Hi, we're not home. You know the drill." Phoebe: Prue, pick up. Melinda: Phoebe? Phoebe: Are you guys there? Melinda: Phoebe, I-I'm here. Phoebe: You guys need to be really careful. Melinda: Phoebe! Phoebe: Matthew is here, he could be on his way. (Melinda presses a button on the machine and turns it off.) [Cut to Quake.] Phoebe: The line went dead. (Piper and Phoebe run out of Quake.) [Cut back to the manor. There's a bang at the front door. Melinda runs into the foyer and Matthew's standing there.] Melinda: Matthew. Matthew: We meet again. Melinda: Yes. And the site of you still makes me ill. Matthew: Funny. The fact that I can now destroy your life forever, makes you so much more appealing. Melinda: You think I won't stop you. Matthew: How? You made your curse before and you still burned. Melinda: And yet I'm here now, aren't I? Matthew: You're nothing more then a dead witch watching over stupid girls who are about to die themselves. Melinda: You won't touch them. Matthew: Too late. I already have two of their powers. I just need the third. I believe her name is Piper. Unless, (he holds her up against the wall) you wanna freeze me. Melinda: Go to hell where you belong. (Matthew has a premonition of them adding the feather to the potion.) Matthew: So that's why they brought you back isn't it? You think you can curse me again. Or I might just kill you now. Melinda: Go ahead. I've already given them the curse. Matthew: Lying. Melinda: Am I? Matthew: The one with the feather. Where is she now? Where's Prue? Tell me. Melinda: She's at... Matthew: Yes? Melinda: Zoo. Matthew: And that's where I'll kill her. And then I'll come back for the other two. That way you can watch them die and I can watch you suffer. (He kisses her.) And then you'll be next. (He blinks out of the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Bucklands. Rex's office. Rex is sitting on the couch. Hannah walks in.] Rex: You lost him. Hannah: We've had this conversation before, Rex, please stay out of my mind. Rex: Well, did he copy Piper's power? Hannah: Something happened in that restaurant though 'cause he just took off. And so did they. Rex: Then why didn't you follow him? Hannah: I tried. Why don't you just follow him right now? Rex: I haven't mastered that ability yet unfortunately. We need Matthew to provide us with the sisters powers otherwise we don't stand a chance in hell. Find him. [Scene: Manor. Piper and Phoebe walk in.] Piper: Prue? Melinda? Melinda: In here. (They walk in the living room. Melinda's sitting on the couch.) Phoebe: Are you okay? It was Matthew wasn't it? Melinda: Yes. But don't worry, he's gone. Phoebe: He found us at the restaurant and he copied my power. He said he was gonna kill you and I was so... Melinda: It's alright, Phoebe. But we've got to hurry before Matthew gets back. Did you get all the herbs? Piper: Yeah, all we need now is the feather. Melinda: Good. Prue's taking care of that. Phoebe: How? [Scene: Museum. Prue walks outside holding the feather. Andy's there.] Prue: Andy, what are you doing here? Andy: You have to come with me, Prue. [Cut to Bucklands. Rex's office. Rex is sitting at his desk. Hannah comes flying through the door and lands on the floor. She stands back up.] Hannah: I found Matthew. Rex: I can see. (Matthew walks in.) Matthew: I need to find Prue and stop her. Rex: You're supposed to be after Piper and Phoebe. I don't under... Matthew: I got the power of premonition. With it I saw the others working on the curse. Help me find her. Rex: No, no, no. There's no time to be distracted. You must stay on track. You must obtain the last power. Matthew: But the curse will end me. They brought Melinda Warren back from the dead to do it. Hannah: They did what? Matthew: I will not go back to oblivion. Rex: Listen, just listen to me. If they're planning to send you back, they'll have to cast the spell at their home. Matthew: So? Hannah: So, Prue will have to return there to do it. Rex: Which is where you can force her and then getting the power to freeze. Matthew: I've already tried. They'd rather die then give me that. (Rex gets a gun out of his desk drawer.) Rex: Try again. [Cut back to the museum. Andy and Prue are sitting in the car.] Andy: Now for the last time, Prue. Why the feather? Prue: I told you. I already had it from before. Andy: Before what? No, go ahead, you can say it. Before breaking and entering a museum which of course you did after you obstructed justice. Prue: How did I obstruct justice? Andy: Oh, come on, Prue, don't play dumb with me, I know you too well. You're in a lot of trouble here. Trouble in which I can't help you out unless you help me. Prue: Maybe I should talk to a lawyer. Andy: You really wanna go there? You really want me to arrest you, is that it? What's the matter with you, Prue? This isn't a game, this is very serious. Prue: Andy, please, you have to let me go. Andy: No, I can't look the other way anymore, Prue. Prue: This isn't just me. It's Piper and Phoebe. Andy: Just tell me what's going on. For once in your life can you just trust me. It's your only choice, Prue. Prue: Andy, I'm sorry but I really have to go. Andy: No, Prue, you can't. Prue. (Prue uses her power and the air bag blows up. Prue gets out of the car.) Prue, get back here. You don't know what you're doing. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Phoebe, Piper and Melinda are there. Melinda's scooping the potion into a small pouch.] Melinda: We're ready now. All we need is the feather. Piper: And Prue. What's keeping her? You don't think... Phoebe: No, she should be fine. Matthew already copied her power. Melinda: Besides, I sent him to the zoo. Phoebe: She's probably stuck in traffic. Melinda: When she returns, we'll add the feather and seek out Matthew. Phoebe: Do you think he'll be hard to find? (Matthew appears.) Matthew: Not at all. I have waited too long for this moment, to hide. Melinda: This is our battle, Matthew. Leave them alone. Matthew: I will have what I came for. (He uses telekinesis and Piper moves towards him. He grabs her.) Your powers and you dead. Phoebe: Piper! Matthew: Freeze me, witch. Piper: In your dreams. (He gets out his gun and points it at Piper's head.) Matthew: I said freeze me. Save yourself. No? Then save your sister. Piper: Phoebe! (Prue walks in.) Prue: Save yourself. (He lets go of Piper and she runs back over to Phoebe and Melinda.) Matthew: Give me that feather. (She uses her power and the gun flies out of hands. Then a chair flies up and hits him. She runs over and hands the feather to Melinda. She puts it in the pouch.) Melinda: Piper, now! (Piper freezes Matthew.) "Outside of time, outside of gain, know only sorrow, know only pain." (Matthew unfreezes and wind surrounds him.) It's what you deserve. Matthew: This is not the end! (He gets sucked into the locket.) Melinda: Yes it is. This is for eternity. [Scene: Bucklands. Rex's office.] Hannah: I followed him, he failed. What do we do now? Rex: I don't know. We're gonna have to think of something fast though. He's gonna be none too pleased that we have failed. Hannah: It wasn't a complete failure, right? I mean, we outted them, proved they were the Charmed Ones, that has to count. Rex: It'll pass a little bit of time but precious little. Hannah: You should've listened to me, Rex. We should've taken care of them ourselves. Rex: Yeah, you're right, Hannah. We should've done. [Scene: Police station. Morris and Andy are there.] Morris: You're gonna wake a judge at this hour? Are you nuts? Andy: I'm getting an arrest warrant. End of discussion. Morris: Based on what? Stealing a feather? He will bust your rank. You will be cleaning metres for a living. Andy: So I should just let it go, is that it? What about Prue's evading arrest? Am I suppose to let that go too? Morris: Damn right. Unless you want to tell the judge exactly how that little lady got away from you. By the way, exactly how did she get away from you? Andy: I don't wanna talk about it. (He turns to leave.) Morris: Trudeau. Let it go. Don't embarrass yourself. [Scene: Manor. Piper runs down the stairs. Leo's there.] Piper: Leo. You're here. Why are you here? Leo: I thought I'd work on the plumbing in the downstairs bathroom. Piper: Oh, now's not really a good time. We're getting our cousin Melinda ready to go away. Can you come back later? Like tomorrow? Leo: Sure. (He turns to leave.) Piper: Uh, Leo? (He turns back around.) Would you like to go out sometime? With me that is. Leo: I'd love to. Give me a call. Piper: Okay. (Piper goes back upstairs in the attic.) Phoebe: Who was it? Piper: It was Leo. Prue: Is he gone? Piper: We're perfectly safe. Melinda: Then let's begin. (Piper joins the others around the table. Melinda is dressed in her normal clothes. She hands Phoebe's dress back to her.) Phoebe: Oh, we can't take those back. Melinda: Why not? Phoebe: Because that means you're leaving Melinda: Well, I have to go Phoebe: Why? Why can't you stay here and have the life that you should've had? Melinda: Because this isn't my time. It's your time, and Prue's and Piper's. Piper: We don't mind sharing. Melinda: You three give me great joy. I've seen the Charmed Ones. Good witches. Women of strength and grace. (Phoebe takes Melinda's hand and holds it up to her heart.) Phoebe: Tell me what you see. Melinda: I see the future. Many more generations of my beautiful daughters. I see my dreams fulfilled. Oh, thank you for that. (She puts on the locket and they all join hands.) Prue: "Melinda Warren, blood of our blood, we release you." Melinda: Blessed be, my daughters. I love you. (Stardust surrounds her and she disappears.) Phoebe: I'm gonna miss her. Piper: Me too. Prue: We can always bring her back.

After Prue accidentally releases a warlock that was trapped inside an old curse, she ultimately gets attacked by him. She, Piper, and Phoebe then have to call upon the witch who bound him in the curse that held him for centuries: their ancestor Melinda Warren, before he can attack them for their powers, especially after he gains a pair of unlikely allies. Meanwhile, Piper works up the courage to ask Leo out, and Andy gets frustrated by Prue always showing up at the crime scenes where bizarre occurrences take place.

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THE STONES OF BLOOD BY: DAVID FISHER Part One Running time: 24:20 [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Right, let's put these two together and go and find the third. Er. Oh, I see. ROMANA: Here, let me do it. DOCTOR: What? ROMANA: I used to be rather good at puzzles. DOCTOR: Puzzles? You don't call that a puzzle, do you? ROMANA: Well, hardly complex enough to be called a puzzle, is it. DOCTOR: It certainly isn't. ROMANA: Look, shouldn't we be getting on? We've only got two segments. Why don't you go and find out where our next destination is? DOCTOR: Right. DOCTOR: Ahem. Romana, I've just decided to go and find out where our next destination is. ROMANA: Oh. [SCENE_BREAK] ROMANA (OOV.): Well? DOCTOR: Have I got a treat in store for you, Romana. ROMANA (OOV.): Really? DOCTOR: Yes. ROMANA (OOV.): Better than Calufrax, I hope. DOCTOR: Oh, much better than Calufrax. You'll love it, I promise you. You'll love it. [SCENE_BREAK] DRUIDS: Cailleach, Cailleach, Cailleach, Cailleach. DRUIDS: Cailleach, Cailleach, Cailleach, Cailleach, Cailleach! MARTHA: Come, o great one, come. Your time is near. [SCENE_BREAK] ROMANA (OOV.): Not yet! DOCTOR: Oh, sorry. Not yet. Not yet? What does she mean, not yet? What do you mean, not yet? ROMANA (OOV.): I'm not ready yet. DOCTOR: Oh. Oh, sorry. ROMANA: Well, how do I look? DOCTOR: (without looking) Ravishing. ROMANA: That's not what I meant. I mean, will this do? DOCTOR: Oh yes, very nicely, I should think, except for those shoes. ROMANA: Oh, I rather like them. DOCTOR: Well, you please yourself. I'm no fashion expert. ROMANA: No. GUARDIAN (OOV.): Beware the Black Guardian. ROMANA: What about these, Doctor? GUARDIAN (OOV.): Beware the Black Guardian. ROMANA: What? Doctor, what does it mean? DOCTOR: It's a warning, and a reminder. [SCENE_BREAK] ROMANA: Doctor, I do wish I knew what you were talking about. DOCTOR: If she'd been meant to know, he would have told her. ROMANA: What? Look, I only want to know about our mission. DOCTOR: What? ROMANA: After all, what would I do if something happened to you? DOCTOR: If something happened to me? Yes, I suppose you have a point. Yes, I don't really think it's fair. ROMANA: Well? DOCTOR: Romana, you were not sent on this mission by the President of the Supreme Council. ROMANA: What? DOCTOR: No, no, you weren't. ROMANA: But, I saw. He told me. Well, what am I doing here? DOCTOR: The voice you just heard and the being you saw in the shape of the President was the White Guardian, or to be more accurate, the Guardian of Light and Time as opposed to the Guardian of Darkness, sometimes called the Black Guardian. They can assume any shape or form they wish. ROMANA: Just like the segment of the key. DOCTOR: Yes. That's why our mission is so vital. Romana, the Key of Time is so powerful that it must not be allowed to fall into the hands of any one being. It's been broken up into six segments and the segments scattered through the universe and disguised as other objects. ROMANA: Yes, I know that, but what I don't know is why. DOCTOR: Because there are times when the forces within the universe upset the cosmic balance so badly that the entire universe is in danger of eternal chaos. ROMANA: And I suppose the Key can prevent that. DOCTOR: That's what the White Guardian said. When it's fully assembled and activated, it stops everything. ROMANA: Everything? DOCTOR: Yes. So that the White Guardian can restore the balance. ROMANA: I see. And I suppose there's a time like that approaching. DOCTOR: Rapidly. DOCTOR: Hello, K9. K9: Master. DOCTOR: Hello, my dear old thing. My ROMANA: What's that? DOCTOR: That's your surprise. We've landed. [SCENE_BREAK] ROMANA: Where? DOCTOR: Come here. (whispers) Earth. ROMANA: Earth? DOCTOR: I thought you'd be pleased. ROMANA: I might have guessed. Your favourite planet. DOCTOR: How do you know that? ROMANA: Oh, everybody knows that. DOCTOR: I didn't tell everybody that. ROMANA: I can't think why, for the life of me. DOCTOR: You'll like it. It's pretty civilised, on the whole. ROMANA: Hmm, oxygen level good. Slight aqueous precipitation. DOCTOR: Do you mean it's raining? ROMANA: So it would appear. DOCTOR: Ah well, that's what the locals call a soft day. ROMANA: Oh, really? DOCTOR: Any one for tennis? ROMANA: Tennis? DOCTOR: Yes, it's an English expression. It means, is anyone coming outdoors to get soaked? ROMANA: Oh. K9: Master? DOCTOR (OOV.): Guard duty for you, K9. We don't know if the natives are friendly yet. K9: Master. ROMANA: K9, what is tennis? K9: Real, lawn or table, mistress? ROMANA: Never mind. Forget it. K9: Forget. Erase memory banks concerning tennis. Memory erased. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: You know, I do believe it's going to be a nice day after all. ROMANA: So, this is Earth, is it? DOCTOR: Yes. Pretty, isn't it? ROMANA: Hmm. Well, the third segments can't be far away. It's over there. DOCTOR: Let's go. DOCTOR: Very strange. ROMANA: What is? DOCTOR: These are. ROMANA: Why strange? They're indentations, obviously caused by something very heavy. DOCTOR: Exactly. ROMANA: Oh, probably some form of animal. DOCTOR: Why? They don't have very heavy elephants around here. It must weigh at least three and a half tons. ROMANA: Oh more, I should think. DOCTOR: Would you? ROMANA: Yes, judging by the specific density of the ground here. DOCTOR: Yes. You know, I ROMANA: Over there. DOCTOR: Yes, that looks promising. DOCTOR: Let's go and have a look. Come on. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Well, here we are. Yes. What do you think? Fascinating, eh? ROMANA: What is it? DOCTOR: Well, it's a stone circle. ROMANA: I can see that, but what's it for? DOCTOR: Well, it's a sort of megalithic temple cum observatory. ROMANA: Observatory? They're just stones, aren't they? DOCTOR: Just stones? Yes, they're just stones. They're all aligned with various points on the horizon, giving you sunrise and moonrise at different times of the year. ROMANA: Oh, I didn't realise the people here were so primitive. DOCTOR: What? Primitive? No, not now. Thousands of years ago, when these were built. ROMANA: Ah, I see. It's very old, is it? DOCTOR: Very. And clever. With some of these circles you could even calculate eclipses. ROMANA: Fascinating. Do you think one of these stones is the third segment? DOCTOR: I don't know. Try. ROMANA: Oh, that's very odd. Nothing. (gasp) EMILIA: It's been surveyed, you know. DOCTOR: I beg your pardon? EMILIA: Surveyed. The circle. Many times. DOCTOR: Ah. EMILIA: Ah, so you noticed it, did you? DOCTOR: Well EMILIA: I always knew it was a matter of time before another professional came in and noticed the discrepancies. Oh, haven't I met you somewhere before, Professor? DOCTOR: Doctor. EMILIA: Oh, Doctor. Yes, of course. I have a wonderful memory for faces. Fougous. DOCTOR: Fougous? EMILIA: Fougous. Cornish fougous. You read that paper on them at the symposium at Princeton, or was it Cardiff? Oh, or was it that fool Leamington-Smith. Oh, dreadful paper. Complete bosh. DOCTOR: Who are you? EMILIA: Professor Emilia Rumford. Author of Bronze Age Burials in Gloucestershire. DOCTOR: Oh! The definitive work on the subject. EMILIA: Oh, you're too kind, Doctor, but of course perfectly right. It was the survey of Doctor Borlase in 1754 that brought you on to it. That's how I twigged, cos when I came to compare the survey of Doctor Borlase with the survey of the Reverend Thomas Bright in 1820 and then the two surveys of 1874 and 1911, well, it was obvious, wasn't it. DOCTOR + ROMANA: What was obvious? DOCTOR: I do beg your pardon. That's my assistant, Romana. EMILIA: Oh, hello. ROMANA: Hello. EMILIA: What a charming name. What's the origin, I wonder? ROMANA: What was obvious, Professor Rumford? EMILIA: That there's been a miscount, my dear. ROMANA: A miscount? EMILIA: Of the stones. According to Doctor Borlase, the Nine Travellers here ROMANA: The Nine Travellers? EMILIA: Oh, it's a local name for them. ROMANA: Yes, but there are more than nine stones. EMILIA: Curious, isn't it. DOCTOR: So is this. ROMANA: Yes. EMILIA: What? DOCTOR: Dried blood, and quite a lot of it. Almost as if something had had it's throat cut. VIVIEN: It probably did. EMILIA: Oh, Vivien. Doctor, my friend Miss Vivien Fay. DOCTOR: How do you do? You move very quietly, Miss Fay. I didn't hear you approach. VIVIEN: I used to be a Brown Owl. ROMANA: Really? DOCTOR: (quietly) The leader of a Brownie pack. Doesn't the blood upset you, then? VIVIEN: Oh, it'll probably be just another sacrifice. ROMANA: I thought you told me Earth was civilised now. DOCTOR: Shush. You mean there have been sacrifices before? VIVIEN: The BIDS are a bit primitive. ROMANA: The BIDS? VIVIEN: The British Institute of Druidic Studies. Nothing at all to do with real Druids, of course, past or present. No, there's a group of them who come regularly. They all wear white robes and wave bits of mistletoe and curved knives in the air. It's all very unhistoric. EMILIA: Oh, I think you dismiss them a little too easily. DOCTOR: Why, has there been trouble? EMILIA: Well, their leader, Mister De Vries, is a very unpleasant man. DOCTOR: Really? VIVIEN: Yes. As a matter of fact, we thought you were one of his group. DOCTOR: So you don't have anything to do with them, then. EMILIA: No, no more than we can help. All that mumbo-jumbo nonsense. No, Vivien and I are conducting a topographical, geological, astronomical, archeological survey of the site. DOCTOR: How would I see this Mister De Vries? EMILIA: Oh, he lives over the hill in the big house. DOCTOR: I think I'll look him up. ROMANA: What, now? DOCTOR: Yes. EMILIA: I warn you, Doctor, he doesn't like scientists. DOCTOR: Well, very few people do, in my experience. Oh, by the way. Over there we noticed some indentations in the ground made by something very heavy. VIVIEN: Oh, it's probably one of the local farmers moving equipment. DOCTOR: Ah, very probably, yes. Over this way, you say? EMILIA: Yes, you can't miss it. DOCTOR: How far is it? EMILIA: Oh, only a couple of miles. ROMANA: Only? DOCTOR: Well, I did warn you about those shoes. ROMANA: Yes, you did. EMILIA: Yes, I see what you mean. They're not very practical, are they. ROMANA: Yes, well, I didn't realise DOCTOR: She wouldn't be told. Look, I tell you what. Why don't you hang on here and I'll stop off on the way back and bring you some boots, right? ROMANA: Thank you. DOCTOR: (quietly) Listen. Keep an eye on those two. There's something very odd going on. ROMANA: Right. DOCTOR: Right, I won't be long. Goodbye. ROMANA: Bye. VIVIEN: Oh, typical. ROMANA: What? VIVIEN: Typical male. Strands you here in the middle of nowhere with two complete strangers while he goes off somewhere enjoying himself. EMILIA: Never mind. You can help us with the work while you're waiting. ROMANA: Right. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Farm machinery? Huh. [SCENE_BREAK] EMILIA: Is that straight? ROMANA: Yes. EMILIA: Jolly good. What does that make it? Twenty eight point nine metres? ROMANA: Ah ha. EMILIA: Well, girls, let's have a breather. Take five, as they say. ROMANA: What's that? VIVIEN: Don't be afraid. It's only a crow. ROMANA: Oh. It looks evil. [SCENE_BREAK] DE VRIES: Cailleach, Cailleach, Cailleach, we come to do your bidding. MARTHA: Oh, Cailleach, Cailleach, Cailleach. DE VRIES: Cailleach, Cailleach, Cailleach. Your spirit fills us. Your worshippers are our brothers. Your enemies are our enemies. DE VRIES: Death to the enemies of the Cailleach! MARTHA: Death to the enemies of the Cailleach! [SCENE_BREAK] DE VRIES: He comes, o Cailleach, he comes. The one foretold is here. DE VRIES: Your time will come, o Cailleach. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR (OOV.): Anybody there? DE VRIES: Our friend's impatient. Don't let's keep him waiting. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Hello? Anybody home? Any? Nobody home except us Druids. DOCTOR: Thomas Borlase 1701 to 1754. Oh. Oh, so that's the good doctor. DE VRIES: He surveyed the Nine Travellers, but then you probably know that already, Doctor. DOCTOR: Mister De Vries. DE VRIES: Correct. DOCTOR: How did you know my name? DE VRIES: It was very sad about Doctor Borlase. DOCTOR: What? DE VRIES: Didn't Professor Rumford tell you? DOCTOR: No. DE VRIES: One of the stones fell on him just after he completed his survey. DOCTOR: What? Maybe we should warn the Professor. DE VRIES: She's quite safe. DOCTOR: Ah. What about them? DE VRIES: Those are away being cleaned. One of them's rather fine, by the Scottish painter Ramsey. Lady Morgana Montcalm. Perhaps you've heard of her? DOCTOR: No, I'm afraid I haven't. DE VRIES: The Montcalms owned this land and this house, including the circle. They used to call her the wicked Lady Montcalm. DOCTOR: Really? DE VRIES: She's said to have murdered her husband on her wedding night. DE VRIES: That's Mrs Trefusis. She was a recluse. She lived here for sixty years and never saw a soul. DOCTOR: Really. DE VRIES: And that's a Brazilian lady, or would be if she were here. Senora Camara. DOCTOR: Hmm. Was there a Senor Camara? DE VRIES: He doesn't seem to have survived the crossing from Brazil. But don't let's stand about here in the hall, Doctor. Do come in. Let me offer you a glass of sherry. DOCTOR: Yes, thank you, thank you. I'd like that. [SCENE_BREAK] ROMANA: They've been circling all afternoon. EMILIA: Well, girls, time to pack up. Thanks for all your help, Romana. Fancy a mug of tea and some sandwiches? ROMANA: Well, I VIVIEN: Please do. My cottage is just over the hill. ROMANA: I think I'd better wait here for the Doctor, otherwise he won't know where I am. EMILIA: Oh well, please yourself, girl, but if you change your mind, we're not far away. VIVIEN: Bring your friend along with you when he gets back. ROMANA: All right. VIVIEN: Good. See you later, then. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: That's rather an unusual pet, isn't it? DE VRIES: It's not exactly what you'd call a pet, Doctor. DOCTOR: You know, Mister De Vries, you never told me how you knew my name. DE VRIES: Didn't I, Doctor? DOCTOR: No. DE VRIES: You never told me what your interest in the circle is. DOCTOR: That's true. I'm looking for something. DE VRIES: What? DOCTOR: Part of a key. DE VRIES: A key to what? DOCTOR: Oh, it's just a key. It's been mislaid. Tell me, you're not really a Druid, are you. DE VRIES: Not in the conventional sense, no, but I am a humble student of Druidic lore. DOCTOR: That must be very boring. DE VRIES: Boring? What do you mean? DOCTOR: Well, I mean there's so little of it that's historically reliable, is there. The odd mention in Julius Caesar, Tacitus, no great detail. I always thought that Druidism was founded by John Aubrey in the seventeenth century as a joke. He had a great sense of humour, John Aubrey. DE VRIES: It is no laughing matter. DOCTOR: Oh. Oh, well that's a pity. What's your interest in the stones? DE VRIES: The stones are sacred. DOCTOR: To whom? DE VRIES: To one who is mighty and all-powerful. To the Goddess. DOCTOR: The Goddess? What goddess is that? DE VRIES: She has many names. Morrigu, Nermintana, the Cailleach. DOCTOR: Ah, Celtic, of course. DE VRIES: Goddess of war, death and magic. Beware the raven or the crow, Doctor. They are her eyes. DOCTOR: (to Quoth, the raven) You don't really believe that, do you, hmm? DE VRIES: I have seen her power, Doctor. Come. DE VRIES: His blood is still warm. I know what to do. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: (OOV.): Romana! ROMANA: Doctor, where have you been? ROMANA: Doctor? Are you all right? [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR (OOV.): Romana! Romana! ROMANA: Doctor? Where are you? DOCTOR (OOV.): Romana! ROMANA: Doctor, what's the matter?

In their search for the 3rd segment of the key to time, the Doctor and Romana land on Earth at a Stonehenge type site where worshipers are engaged in their practice and people are being killed by unknown causes. While en route the Doctor and Romana hear a strange voice that says 'Beware the Black Guardian".

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[PREVIOUSLY_ON] CLAY: We should probably make this Agent thing official. Just get me your college transcripts, and I'll set it all up. NATHAN: I never graduated. CLAY: You've got to have a college degree to do this. So I think you should go get those credits. MIA: Oops, didn't realize you already scored. My bad. ALEX: With Chase or in the game? BROOKE: They're fighting over Chase. JULIAN: I know who he likes. CHASE: I think I should just be by myself for a while. GROUND CLOSE TO A LAKE Brooke and Julian marry in front of their friends. They all are equipped with way countries BROOKE(Voice-over): Okay, Brooke Davis, this is it, the day you've always dreamed about. Don't cry. You still have pictures. And don't trip. You'll ruin your dress. JULIAN: You look real pretty, baby. QUINN: All right, y'all, say cheese. JULIAN: Cheese! FARMER: All right, y'all, we're fixin' to watch... Brooke and Julian get hitched. HALEY: Whoo! JULIAN: Yeah! Whoo! FARMER: Now, where'd those rings run off to? BROOKE: James Lucas Scott, are you drinking a beer? JAMIE: What kind of backyard hootenanny and pig roast would this be without it? BROOKE: Pig roast? JULIAN: Yeah, that's right, baby. Remember, we got the edible-ring-bearer special to save money? BROOKE: This is not my wedding. JULIAN: It sure is, and I think it's time you accept it. ALEX: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! JULIAN: Yeah, baby! Let's forget about the ceremony and drink to the honeymoon. (Laughing) BRULIAN'S HOUSE Brooke makes a nightmare. NALEY'S HOUSE Jamie revises his homework before going to school. HALEY: "Impossible." JAMIE: "Impossible." I-m-p-o-s-s...i-b-l-e? "Impossible." HALEY: See, there you go. Nice work. Sometimes it pays to go with your gut. All right, let's do, uh... "Broccoli." JAMIE: Oh, gross. That doesn't go with my gut. Please don't put that in my lunch. HALEY: Only if you spell it wrong. JAMIE: Okay. "Broccoli." B-r-o-c-o... no, no, no, no. "Broccoli." B-r-o-c-c-o-l-I. "Broccoli." HALEY: Nice save. Let's put it in dad's. So, are you getting excited for your spelling bee? JAMIE: As much as I can for a spelling bee. HALEY: What? I loved spelling bees when I was your age. JAMIE: Yeah. Dad said you were a nerd. HALEY: Hey, you tell our kid I was a nerd? (Nathan comes in) NATHAN: Yeah, many times. I'm not gonna lie to the kid, Hales. You do realize I'm going to college, not third grade. HALEY: Oh, you... you don't want chocolate pudding? NATHAN: Come on. I'll drop you off. JAMIE: Sweet. HALEY: Here you go, kiddo. Have a fun day at school, boys. JAMIE: Oh, yes! I got ho hos. NATHAN: Nope. You got broccoli. CLINN'S HOUSE Clay prepares the luggage of Quinn. CLAY: I wouldn't even consider leaving you if it weren't really important. But I need to check in with my clients to... QUINN: Don't worry. I understand. CLAY: Then why won't you come with me? QUINN: Because I have a lot of work to do on my photos. And I think I might go see Taylor. But I am gonna miss you. CLAY: I'm gonna miss you, too. NALEY'S HOUSE/ PEYTON'S OFFICE Haley makes her gym, her portable sounds. This is Mia. HALEY: Hello? MIA: Haley, are you sitting down? HALEY: Um...Sort of. MIA: Okay, good. Because I just booked Kid Cudi at Tric. HALEY: You w... What? When? MIA: Tomorrow night. HALEY: Oh, my God. That's amazing. MIA: Yeah, he had an opening on his tour, and I just grabbed it. Plus, I was thinking Erin should open. HALEY: Oh, I love that idea. MIA: Yeah, just sucks that nobody shows up for opening acts. HALEY: Yeah. Let me see what I can do about that. COLLEGE Nathan searches Kellermman's office. STUDENT: Nathan Scott? It is you. What are you doing here? NATHAN: Finishing up my degree. I'm actually just trying to decide which business course to take -- Stewart or Kellerman. STUDENT: Oh, Stewart, no question. All the athletes take him because you can sleep through the classes and still pass. It's cake. NATHAN: Yeah, but do you learn anything? STUDENT: You learn how to sleep sitting up. But I definitely wouldn't take Kellerman. I hear he's impossible. NATHAN: Thanks, man. No problem. KELLERMAN'S OFFICE Nathan knocks on the door. DR. KELLERMAN: Yes? NATHAN: Hi. My name is Nathan Scott, and I'd really like to take your class, but I need your permission to enter late. DR. KELLERMAN: I have no problem with that. The class has already gone through the first half of this one. NATHAN: In only two weeks. Wow. Okay. Well, I'm really looking forward to this. DR. KELLERMAN: We'll see. NATHAN: Okay. CAFETARIA Quinn comes to talk with Dan. QUINN: Excuse me? DAN: What can I help you with? QUINN: Murder. CAFETARIA Dan talks with Quinn. DAN: You look familiar. Did we sleep together? QUINN: No. I'm Haley's sister. DAN: Oh, so you slept with my son. QUINN: That was Taylor. DAN: Oh, right. So, you're the sister who wants to talk about murder. Why come to me? I'm not a hit man. QUINN: Because you're the only person I know who's ever murdered someone, and anyone else is gonna try to stop me. DAN: But not Dan Scott, the reprehensible monster who flips burgers for a living. QUINN: That's not what I meant. DAN: What did you mean? QUINN: A woman tried to kill me and the man that I love. And I'm angry, and when I'm not angry, I'm afraid. Or at least I used to be. Not anymore. DAN: You're not afraid anymore? You should be. Have a seat. NALEY'S HOUSE Brooke says to Haley she have no inspirations fro her wedding dress. HALEY: So, how are the bridesmaids' dresses coming along? When do I get to see mine? BROOKE: Honestly... I have no idea. Your dress, even my dress... inspiration has been nonexistent lately. I literally had my entire dream wedding planned out. And now I'm redoing everything, and the more that I think about it, the more frustrated I get. HALEY: I'm sorry, Brooke. BROOKE: It's okay. Inspiration was just so much easier to find when I had money. HALEY: Okay, you know what? Out of sight, out of mind. You need a clear head in order to find your inspiration.. It's obvious this book is only confusing you. Nathan makes homework. Jamie asks if he plays with him. JAMIE: You want to play "Madden" with me? I'll let you be the Falcons. NATHAN: I'd love to, buddy. But I really got to concentrate on this right now. This is a really hard class. Why don't you call Chuck? JAMIE: Can't. He's grounded for using his name in the "banana-fana-fo-fana" song. NATHAN: What? What's wrong with that? Oh. Yeah. JAMIE: So, why is your class so hard? NATHAN: Because I've never really been good at school. And I got a really hard teacher. JAMIE: Yeah. Hard teachers suck. Try having Miss Lauren for two years in a row. NATHAN: But I chose this teacher. JAMIE: Why? NATHAN: Well, because sometimes the hardest things are the most rewarding. Do you know what the most important basketball game I ever played was? JAMIE: No. NATHAN: It was Kansas my sophomore year. They were ranked number one. JAMIE: And you beat them? NATHAN: No, we lost by 3. But we were supposed to lose by 27. And if Kansas wasn't such a hard team, we would've never learned to play defense the way we did that game. And without that defense, we would've never made it to the Final Four. It's when you face the hardest things in life with will and hard work that you learn the most. And that's why I chose the hard teacher. JAMIE: That's good for you, I guess. I just wish Miss Lauren was a little easier, you know? NATHAN: It'll pay off. Trust me. Hey, speaking of which, isn't there a spelling bee you're supposed to be studying for? JAMIE: Oh, yeah. I'm ready. NATHAN: Oh, yeah? Okay. Spell "arbitrate." JAMIE: A-r-b-I-t-r-a-t-e. "Arbitrate." NATHAN: How did you get so smart? JAMIE: I have my mom's genes, too, you know. NTHAN: You also got her height. BRULIAN'S HOUSE Julian and Brooke find things. BROOKE: It was nauseating watching them chum it up at Thanksgiving dinner. How are you not at all annoyed that our mothers have hit it off so well that they've scurried off to New York together? JULIAN: If it means my mom being gone and giving us time alone, I'm all for it. What are we looking for, anyway? BROOKE: Inspiration. JULIAN: Ohh. What's this? BROOKE: No, we can just get rid of that. Ah. JULIAN: "Learn to speak French watch every James Bond movie." What's this? BROOKE: It's a list Millie made for me years ago when I was rich of all the things that I always said I wanted to do. JULIAN: "Climb K2"? BROOKE: Is "lose my entire company" on there? 'Cause we can go ahead and just cross that one off. JULIAN: "Go into outer space. Get drunk at Oktoberfest." Did you ever do any of these? BROOKE: No. But it was comforting to know that I could've anytime I wanted to. Maybe not space, but... JULIAN: Why didn't you ever do any of these when you were rich? BROOKE: Too busy getting rich, I guess. CAFETARIA Quinn explains what it's happened. QUINN: She shot us both at close range. A surgery and a seven-day coma later, I survived. And now I spend every night afraid to sleep in my own home, worried what's gonna happen when she finds out that we both lived. And on the rare nights that I do actually sleep, I have nightmares. DAN: What kind of nightmares? QUINN: About her coming back to finish the job. I'm not gonna let her do it. DAN: I've always preferred offense over defense, but murder? QUINN: We can't live like this. I can't live like this anymore. So I'm not going to. And I don't trust the police. They couldn't even find her. And I did. DAN: She's pretty. I can see why Evans was sleeping with her. QUINN: He wasn't. DAN: That's too bad. If you do this... You'll lose a piece of yourself that you'll never get back. QUINN: I've already lost that part. I'm trying to do something so I don't lose everything else, too. DAN: All right, I'll tell you what. Go get some sleep. And tomorrow, if you still want to kill someone, you come and see me. BROOKE'S CAR Brooke enters in her car. BROOKE(at phone): I know that we said a 150 but we're actually gonna trim it down to 75. Well, how can it be more money for less people? Well, now there's zero. (Brooke starts the car) MAN(at CD): Bonjour! Je suis Paul. "Au revoir," "c'est la vie," "merci beaucoup" these may be French phrases you're familiar with now, but soon, you can live in Paris and never have to speak English again. How does that sound? BROOKE: That sounds amazing, actually. CLASSROOM Nathan arrives at his class but he is requested by students. STUDENT: Wow. Nathan Scott. NATHAN: Yeah. BOY STUDENT: Uh, can I get a picture? NATHAN: Yeah, sure, man. STUDENT: Thank you. Thank you so much. NATHAN: Nice to meet you. GIRL STUDENT: Can I get an autograph? NATHAN: Yeah, sure. GIRL STUDENT: Thanks. DR. KELLERMAN: If Mr. Scott doesn't mind, I'd love my students back so I can begin my class. Let's start in chapter 12. CAFETARIA Dan explains how to make a success of a perfect murder. DAN: You'll need an industrial-grade hacksaw to properly detach the body piece by piece, lye to speed up the decomposition process, biodegradable plastic wrap to properly seal and transport the pieces, a shovel to bury them, obviously. Now, make sure you section the body into 20 pieces, spreading them at least five miles apart and no less than 4 feet underground, although I recommend 6. Oh, and a hammer. Don't forget about the dental records. Those will come back to haunt you. Finding someone's easy. Making sure they're never found again -- that's the hard part. From the look on your face, you never thought of any of this. This is what you want, isn't it? QUINN: I just... I want it all to stop. DAN: No. You don't just want it to stop. You've decided you're the one that's gonna stop it, and that's a whole new ballgame. And in that game, those are the rules. CLUB TRIC Chase arranges some bottles in the bar. CHASE: Alex. Hey. ALEX: Hey. CHASE: I've been wanting to talk you. ALEX: Oh, yeah? CHASE: Yeah. Apologize for the way I've treated you lately. ALEX: That won't work. CHASE: Don't want me to apologize? ALEX: I prefer top-shelf liquors to my right and well brands to my left, and we'll need twice as many pint glasses. CHASE: Okay. Why? ALEX: Haley asked me to celebrity-bartend tonight. And about that other thing -- don't worry about it. It's fine. PEYTON'S OFFICE Mia is angry, Haley doesn't pick her. MIA: That is so not fine. Why did you ask Alex and not me? HALEY: Because Alex knows how to bartend. MIA: Well, who do you think taught her? HALEY: Chase, right? MIA: But who taught him? Me. Uh-huh. HALEY: I don't know. Alex has like a million followers on Twitter. MIA: Okay, my 237,000 followers are a very dedicated group, Haley. HALEY: You want to bartend? MIA: Hell, yeah. HALEY: All right. You better go get ready. MIA: I will. HALEY: Done and done. BRULIAN'S HOUSE Brooke is back and sees a gift in a chair. BROOKE: Julian, are you home? Someone broke into my car this morning and planted a French CD. And I'm really hoping it was you and not some psycho euro stalker. "put this on." Mettez cela sur. Oh. Ew. Brooke puts the costume. Julian comes to her. BROOKE: I'm all for trying new things, but I'm not sure I'm sold on this one yet. JULIAN: It's Oktoberfest. BROOKE: It's not October. JULIAN: Oktoberfest is a state of mind. BROOKE: Ohh. You're very clever with my list. JULIAN: Can I also interest you in a James Bond marathon, Miss Moneypenny? BROOKE: Okay, that was a terrible German accent. JULIAN: That's not German. It's Sean Connery. BROOKE: That was an even worse Sean Connery. JULIAN: I'm pretty sure I do a pretty good Sean Connery. Let's hear yours. BROOKE: Okay. Uh... I'll have mine stirred, not shaken. All right, fine. We'll go with yours. JULIAN: Splendid. Shall we begin, darling? CLASSROOM The teacher asks to Nathan to answer to a question. DR. KELLERMAN: Can someone please explain, using the terms from the book, how taking this class is like entering into a contract? Mr. Scott? NATHAN: Um... Um... DR. KELLERMAN: I know the book has the answers, Mr. Scott. I wrote it. I'd hoped you had the answer. NATHAN: I'm not sure. DR. KELLERMAN: Ms. Helbeck? HELBECK: By taking this class, we've made an offer to you that you've accepted based on our facility of intelligence, therefore setting the value at a standard worth your time and our money. DR. KELLERMAN: And to violate the contract is not only disappointing, but it makes your presence here irritating. The teacher finish his class. Nathan goes to see him. DR. KELLERMAN: Uh, I'll be back in my office, 4:00. NATHAN: Professor Kellerman? You couldn't have given me a couple classes to catch up? DR. KELLERMAN: $97,795. NATHAN: What? DR. KELLERMAN: $97,795, Mr. Scott. That's what a university spends, on average, for each athlete. Non-athletic students receive about $13,000 in academic spending. On top of that, nearly every school in the country operates their athletic programs at a severe loss, including your very own University of Maryland. Yes, I know who you are. I've been required to pass marquee athletes for years. And I'll have to pass more in the future. But I don't have to pass you. NATHAN: You know, I had a choice of professors. I chose this class. I intend to hold up my end of the contract. DR. KELLERMAN: I won't hold my breath. BRULIAN'S HOUSE Brooke leaves the dustbin, she sees Julian on a motorcycle. BROOKE: I don't think there was anything on my list about squeezing two grown people on an oversized toy. JULIAN: You wanted to ride a motorcycle. BROOKE: I am quite certain that that is not a motorcycle. JULIAN: Motorcycle is a state of mind? It's all they'd let me rent without a motorcycle license. Come on. It's pretty fun, actually. It just feels like riding a jet ski, but on land. BROOKE: Oh, it sounds much safer now, thank you. JULIAN: Everyone in France rides one. They're quite fashionable. Hop on, mademoiselle. BROOKE: Is this thing even legal to take on the roads? JULIAN: Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads. CLUB TRIC Mia and Alex prepare drinks for tonight. ALEX: Maybe we should split the bar so we can each handle our own fans. I've got like 150 replies so far that say they're coming, so... MIA: Yeah, I'll have a ton of people, too. In fact, do you want to make a little competition out of it? ALEX: Okay, you're on. (Chase comes in) MIA: Hey, you. CHASE: I'm not sure I like this...the two of you bartending together. You know, after the whole football-game throwdown. ALEX: What? Are you worried about us becoming friends? CHASE: No. I'm worried you'll destroy my bar. MIA: Your terrible drinks already did that. ALEX: She's right. Things can only improve. You know, you should probably stay away from making drinks tonight and be our bitch. MIA: That's a great idea. ALEX: I know. Awesome. MIA: Wow. NALEY'S HOUSE Jamie wants to play with Nathan. JAMIE: Hey, dad, any chance we can play catch later? NATHAN: Sure, buddy. Just let me get some more studying in. JAMIE: What's the matter? NATHAN: Well, my teacher was mean to me today. Promise me you'll stay away from anyone with "Keller" in their name. JAMIE: Well, you could pull a prank on him. Chuck has a really good one with fire ants and honey. NATHAN: Thanks, Jame, but, uh, I'm okay. I just... I have to work harder to be better prepared for this next class, and it's gonna be tough for me because I have a lot of lists to memorize. And I've never really been good at memorizing things. JAMIE: Lists are easy. I have a really good trick. What's the list? NATHAN: Well, it's essential elements of forming a contract. Offer, acceptance, consideration, facility, and intent to create legal relations. JAMIE: Okay. O-a-c-f-I. Outside animals can't...Fart inside. So, if you just remember that, you'll always remember the list. NATHAN: All right. First tutor girl, now tutor son. CLUB TRIC Erin meets Haley in the cabins. ERIN: Haley. HALEY: Ah, there you are. ERIN: Wow. This is amazing. Thanks so much for inviting me. I love kid Cudi. HALEY: Good, 'cause you're about to meet him. ERIN: Seriously? HALEY: Mm-hmm. Hi. Sorry to interrupt, guys. Hey, Scott. I just wanted to introduce you to Erin. Erin Macree, this is kid Cudi. ERIN: It's so nice to meet you. Can I just say...I love your stuff. KID CUDI: Thank you. I appreciate it. From what I heard, you might be the one everyone leaves here talking about tonight. ERIN: I'm sorry? KID CUDI: Well, if you're half as good as what Haley's been saying, you're gonna be a tough act to follow. ERIN: I'm opening? KID CUDI: You're opening, yes. And I'm really looking forward to hearing your stuff. It's gonna be a great night. HALEY: Okay, so, we'll leave you alone to relax. Let me know if you need anything. KID CUDI: Cool. Sounds good. Good meeting you, Erin. ERIN: Oh, my gosh. I can't believe you're letting me open for kid Cudi tonight. How do I ever thank you? HALEY: Don't thank me. Thank Mia. This was all her little brainchild. Now, don't be nervous. All you have to do is remember to play. Don't think about ERIN: Nervous? No way. I'm gonna kill this. CAFETARIA DAN: So, how are you gonna kill her? That's cute. You're gonna need an untraceable gun. Contrary to what you've seen in films, you're gonna have to get in nice and close. In fact, the only reason you're still alive is that she shot you from across the room. Mm. So... If you're not close enough to feel the blood splatter on your face... Then you're not close enough. I suggest the heart. Head's too messy. QUINN: You're just trying to scare me. DAN: Scare you? No. I'm just trying to prepare you the best that I can. 'Cause watching the light go out in someone's eyes and knowing you're the one that took it, that's something that'll never leave you. And just remember this...the moment you pull that trigger, you'll never be the same again. For the rest of your life, it'll be there... With every breath. Are you ready for that? PLANE Brooke and Julian are on the point of jumping in parachute. Brooke wants to change opinion. BROOKE: Whoo. Absolutely not! JULIAN: But it was on your list! You've always wanted to do it! BROOKE: I changed my mind! A girl can change her mind! MAN: Okay, now's the time. You guys ready? BROOKE: No. JULIAN: Give us just one minute here. I promise you it'll be the second-most exhilarating 45 seconds of your life. BROOKE: What's the first? Oh, a s*x joke, which might be cute if we weren't 15,000 feet in the air with a quarter of the plane missing! JULIAN: Brooke, life is not which breaths you take when...wait, wait, wait. Life is not about taking the breaths that... BROOKE: what? JULIAN: Hold on! MAN: We're gonna miss our window. BROOKE: It's okay. JULIAN: "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." BROOKE: Did you seriously just quote "hitch"? JULIAN: Yeah, because it's a really great quote. Life is about breathtaking moments like this. Let's take the plunge. MAN: It's now or never, guys. BROOKE; Fine! Now, before I change my mind. JULIAN: Whoo! BROOKE: I hate you. JULIAN: I love you. Bon voyage! CLUB TRIC Haley introduces Erin. HALEY: Hi, Tric. Thanks for coming out tonight, everyone. I wanted to personally introduce our newest addition to Red Bedroom records. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a very warm welcome to the lovely and talented Erin Macree. Mia and Alex serves drinks. ALEX: I'm up to 450 replies, singer girl. MIA: Right on your heels, drama queen. Never underestimate team Mia, right? Hey, you got a bottle of vodka over there? ALEX: Yep. Coming at you. MIA: Oh. ALEX: Watch out, little guy. MIA: You might want to stay clear of the bar so you don't hurt yourself, Chase. ALEX: There you go. NALEY'S HOUSE Nathan and Jamie play while revising. NATHAN: "Deficit." JAMIE: D-e-f-i-c-i-t. "Deficit." NATHAN: Very nice. JAMIE: Now, what does it mean? NATHAN: It's a negative net worth. JAMIE: Sounds right. NATHAN: Okay, next one. You ready? "Fiduciary." BRIDGE Julian and Brooke look the moon. JULIAN: I know you wanted to go to outer space, but due to budgetary restrictions, I thought maybe I could bring the moon to you. BROOKE: It's beautiful. JULIAN: It's made of cheese, you know. BROOKE: Oh? JULIAN: At least that's what they say. BROOKE: "They"? JULIAN: Yeah, you know, the people that say those kinds of things. BROOKE: This one actually never made it onto the list because I didn't think it was possible. JULIAN: Outer space? No, I'm pretty sure it was on -- BROOKE: No. Finding a man who adores me as much as you do... And getting to keep him forever. CLUB TRIC Chase helps a little girls. ALEX: This is a lot more fun than fighting. MIA: Yeah, you know, I think we should just call a truce on the whole Chase thing for a while. ALEX: Fine with me. Thanks, barmaid. CHASE: It's bar manager. MIA: Not tonight, rookie. CHASE: What can I get you? MAN: I'll wait for Alex Dupre. CHASE: Okay. How about you? OTHER MAN: I'm waiting for Mia Catalano, bro. CHASE: Would anyone rather me get them a drink than wait in line for 20 minutes? MAN: No, but I will take a beer from Haley James Scott if she's serving. HALEY: Hey. CHASE: Okay. I'll just stand here, then. MIA: Actually, the Hefeweizen tap needs to be changed in the back. CHASE: You did this to me. Erin finish her song. CAFETARIA DAN: You're gonna need an airtight alibi, so be thinking about that. And the final thing you're gonna need is to prepare yourself for a life on the run in case anyone finds out. So get your goodbyes and I love yous taken care of now. (Cellphone ringing) QUINN: Don't! Don't. Just -- DAN: Does he know about this? I think we should tell him, don't you? QUINN: Please just give me my phone. DAN: He was shot, too. I'm sure he'd be happy to hear the plan. CLAY(at phone): Hello? QUINN: Please don't. CLAY(at phone): Hey, Quinn? Hello? Hello, Quinn? QUINN(at phone): Hi, honey. No, sorry. Uh, the reception is horrible here. Um, but, uh, Taylor says hi. Yeah, um... I'm okay. It just, uh... It's just been an emotional day. But, um, can I -- can I call you later on tonight? I love you, too. DAN: You couldn't tell him 'cause you know this is wrong. Look around you. Is this the life you want? A life of complete isolation from everyone you ever cared about? I ended two lives the day I pulled that trigger. And one of them was mine. Save yours. Don't do this. CLUB TRIC Kid Cudi starts to play. Chase talks with grils. CHASE: I'm gonna go fetch some more clean pint glasses, since I'm, like, your guys' servant or something. ALEX: I'm gonna go get some more Tequila. MIA: Okay. (Alex leaves and Erin comes in) MIA: Well, look who it is. It's Tree Hill's newest rock star. ERIN: Thanks so much for setting me up to play tonight. MIA: I was just paying forward the opportunity I got from someone who believed in me. ERIN: Fair play. So, do I have to get in the back of this line to get a beer? MIA: Please. Rock stars don't wait in line. ERIN: Thank you. Alex joins Chase in the reverse. CHASE: Hey. You good? ALEX: Yeah, just grabbing some Tequila. You know we're just kidding around with you tonight, right? CHASE: Yeah, I know. ALEX: Good. Because that's not how I really feel about you. Not even a little. Don't tell Mia. NALEY'S HOUSE Nathan and Jamie take dinner. JAMIE: The Falcons are doing good. Troy might be able to play in the super bowl. NATHAN: Yeah, maybe so. JAMIE: Hey! Okay, what are the fundamental elements of forming a contract? NATHAN: Outside animals can't fart inside. Offer... JAMIE: Mm-hmm. NATHAN: Acceptance... JAMIE: Uh-huh. NATHAN: Consideration... JAMIE: Mm-hmm. NATHAN: Facility... JAMIE: Mm-hmm. NATHAN: And intent to create legal relations. All right. Mm! JAMIE: Well done, Mr. Scott. NATHAN: Goofball. CLUB TRIC Kid Cudi finish his song. KID CUDI Thank you. Tric, make some noise! HALEY: Ladies, thank you for filling the place tonight. What a great job. We actually had to turn people some away, you know. So, who won your little competition? MIA: Team Mia kicked some team Alex ass. ALEX: Yeah, yeah, whatever. She's from here. Hometown advantage. Anyways, I'm proud of what I did tonight. QUINN'S CAR Quinn goes home, she cries. BRULIAN'S HOUSE Julian and Brooke dinner. JULIAN: So, you had a good day? BROOKE: If it's affirmation you're fishing for, Mr. Baker, fish no more. I'm sorry I've been so up and down lately. They say the only thing that's worse than being poor is being rich and then poor. And I certainly haven't handled it well. JULIAN: They? BROOKE: Mm-hmm. You know, the people that say those kinds of things. They would probably also say that I'm still richer than I've ever been... Because no matter how much money I have in my bank account, I know that my dreams can still come true because I'm with you. JULIAN: That's my girl. BROOKE: And it didn't even come from "Hitch." JULIAN: You should know that... I plan on making every one of your dreams come true, for richer or poorer, even the last one on that list. BROOKE: Which one's that? JULIAN: I will give you a baby, Brooke Davis. Whatever it takes...fertility, adoption... Kidnapping. I can't wait to have a family with you. BROOKE: J'adore. JULIAN: Wow. One day, and you're already speaking French? BROOKE: Mm. And I've already picked out my favorite french word. JULIAN: What? BROOKE: Fiance. JULIAN: You'll have to learn the word for "husband" soon. BROOKE: Not soon enough. Aah! NALEY'S HOUSE Haley goes home. Nathan and Jamie sleep. NATHAN: How was the concert? HALEY: Mm. It was great. Erin was awesome. How was class? NATHAN: Outside animals can't fart inside. HALEY: What? NATHAN: It's gonna be okay. Jamie's a great tutor. JAMIE: "Tutor." T-u-t-o-r. "Tutor." NATHAN: There's an "o" in "tutor"? HALEY: Mm-hmm. NATHAN: Man, he's even a genius in his sleep. BRULIAN'S HOUSE Brooke finish to draw her wedding dress. BROOKE: Voil . CLUB TRIC Kid Cudi comes to congratulate Erin. KID CUDI: Yo. I was just heading out. You have fun tonight? ERIN: Yeah. Tonight was amazing. KID CUDI: Well, you know it only gets better from here on out, so... ERIN: I bet. KID CUDI: All right, I'll holler at you. Oh, Erin, you should know that your stuff's really great. Believe in it. You know what I mean? Just be you, do your thing. You'll be all right. ERIN: Thanks. KID CUDI: All right, babe. Peace. BRIDGE Quinn launches the revolver in water. KATIE'S CAR Katie is back to Tree Hill. She is singing. KATIE: "Mmmmmmmmmmmm you think you're gonna take me and put me on a shelf I'd rather die than see you with somebody else never gonna give you up no matter how you treat me never gonna give you up so don't you think of leavin'" MAN(voice-over): Have you heard about this giant storm brewing down south? Looks like it's headed this way. Better get ready, because things are gonna get crazy. End of the episode.

Julian tries to get Brooke to complete a list of dreams that Millicent made for her back when she had her company, including skydiving and a James Bond marathon. Haley sets up a concert at TRIC featuring musical guest star, Kid Cudi, whom Erin is the opening act for, while Mia & Alex do friendly "celebrity bar-tending" competition to see who has more fans in Tree Hill. Nathan takes a business class at a university to complete his left out credits to become a full-time agent with Clay. Jamie helps his father by tutoring him and helping him remember parts of the book he's studying. Meanwhile, Quinn sneaks out of town to visit Dan to get his help in finding and killing Katie, but decides against it while driving back home and throws the gun in the river. Elsewhere, Katie makes her way back to Tree Hill after learning that Quinn and Clay are still alive. This episode is named after a song by the band A Sunny Day in Glasgow . Opening theme song performed by Aimee Mann .

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Narrator: Previously, on "Childrens Hospital"... Blake: Dori, that was a little intimate. Dori: Oh, I don't think I'll get pregnant from that. Blake: Let me guess. You're pregnant. Dori: Yeah. I'm sorry. Sy: We are going to oversee the opening of a clinic on a U.S. army base in Japan. Owen: No! Dori: What? That is so complicated. Glenn: Do you remember Detective Chance Briggs, Owen's former partner on the police force? Cat: Uh, I think so. What, he has brown hair and a mustache? Briggs: Anybody up for a mustache contest? I win. Cat: What about him? Glenn: I don't know. Just something to keep in mind, I guess. [ Mid-tempo music plays ] 5.02 - Triangles Sal: Attention! Staff, that is all. Owen: Hey, Dori. Where you headed? Dori: Oh, I'm taking Willy into the city. He's never had soup noodles. Owen: Oh. Well, Osaka is a very dangerous town. I could be your escort. Who knows? We might even enjoy each other's company. I've been told I make a pretty great escort, like the Ford Motor Corporation. Dori: The Escort was discontinued in 2003. Owen: Right. Got me good. [ Chuckles ] You are so smart. Dori: Blake! Um, I'm taking our son into the city. Did you get my e-mail? Blake: Uh, I don't know. I don't really open e-mails from people like you. I mean, I'm a doctor. You get it. Dori: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Owen: Love those bangs. Dori: Oh. Blake: Hey, listen. Um, here's 30,000 yen. I mean, buy him a taco or something, okay. Willy: Want to come into the city with us, Mr. Dad? Blake: Well, I would, because we're technically family, but, I mean, you get it. Dori: Come on, honey. Blake: Hmm. Na. [ Indistinct conversations ] Willy: I have to pee. Dori: Sounds like someone has to go pee. Let's go. Willy: I can go by myself. Dori: Okay, honey. Just be careful. And remember to tap your pee-pee! Willy: I pre-tapped it! Dori: Okay. Willy: [ Whistling ] [ Door opens ] [ Men arguing in Japanese ] [ Gasps ] Dori: But, officer... Dori: I'm sorry. I don't understand what you're saying. Engel: Maybe I can be of some assistance here. My name is Detective Chuck Engel. My partner and I are here as part of an international cop exchange program. Dori: Partner? I don't see any partner. Briggs: That's because you weren't looking in this direction. If we're gonna catch those mean man, we need to know exactly what you saw. Willy: [ Gulps ] Briggs: My word. That's urine. Pure. Son, those men... are they the murderers or are you just peeing in your pants because you pee in your pants? Willy: I've had a lot of sports drinks today, but in this case, murderers. [ Beep ] [ Telephone rings ] Kaiju: Police Chief Kaiju. Briggs: Chief Kaiju. It's Briggs. I know who did it. It's Gojira and Mosura. The kid took one look at 'em and peed in his pants. Kaiju: Uh, did my name come up? Briggs: No. Why? Kaiju: I just want to make sure I wasn't under suspicion in any way. Briggs: No. Like, why would you even ask that? Kaiju: Forget I mentioned it. Hey, Briggs someone's at the door. Will you hold on a sec? [ Dialing ] [ Ringing ] [ Cellphone rings ] [ Speaking Japanese ] Kaiju: Briggs, I'm back. Wrong number. Briggs: Chief, while I was on hold with you, Gojira and Mosura got a phone call and then ran off. Briggs: Kinda weird, huh? Kaiju: Yes and no. What about you, Briggs? Where do you live? What's your exact address? Briggs: I live at 465 Lick My Butthole Lane. Get your stuff! We're getting out of here now! Engel: Wait! Damn it, Briggs! What the hell is going on? Briggs: I need to disappear. Watch your back, partner. Engel: Wait, did you say, "Watch your black partner?" How am I suppose to respond to that? Briggs: No, I said, "Watch your back, partner," although I can definitely see how it sounded like "black" to you. Engel: No, that's a funny misunderstanding. Especially considering you do have a black partner. Briggs: Right. Absolutely. [ Chuckles ] Engel: I don't think I can operate without you, Briggs. Briggs: Try, Engel. Engel: No, I'm serious... Briggs: I said try, Engel. Come on. Owen: Dori! You're back! I was worried sick about you! Briggs: Don't worry. She's safe in my capable yet calloused hands. Owen: Detective Chance Briggs. You plus-sized woman's panty set! What's my old partner doing here? [ Both chuckle ] Briggs: Put 'er there. Dori: You guys were cops together? Owen: Yeah, and we went to the same college. Who would have thought a couple of Oberlin grads would end up carrying badges? So what are you doing here, old boy? Briggs: Well, let's just say that I need a place to hide. Both: "That I need a place to hide." Owen: But surely you can't be serious. Briggs: I am serious... And don't ever question my seriousness. Dori: Please, Dr. Maestro. If they find Willy, they'll kill him, too. Briggs: What do you say, old friend? Help us out? Owen: Well, you're gonna need a disguise. Come with me. Congratulations, Private Briggs! You're in the United States army now. Briggs: All right. [SCENE_BREAK] Kaiju: Where's Briggs? 'Cause there's no such place as 465 Lick My Butthole Lane. Lick My Butthole Lane ends at 426 then skips right to the 700s after Central Boulevard. It's a sham address. Engel: Look, I told you. He didn't tell me anything. Kaiju: Watch your back. Engel: Did you say, "Watch your black"? What's that supposed to mean? Kaiju: I said, "back." I've just got kind of a wonky accent, so it sounded like I said "black", but I said "back." Engel: I gotcha. I gotcha. [ Radio tuning ] [ Slow music plays ] [ Door opens ] Dori: Hi. Briggs: Hi. Dori: I brought you a piece of pie and some Doritos and two slices of watermelon. Briggs: Triangle-shaped foods. My favorite. Dori: Thank you, Detective Briggs, for all that you've done for us. Folks usually aren't so nice to me and Willy. Broadcaster: Here's an oldie for all you lovers out there. Dori: Oh, I love this song! I watched Owen lose his virginity to this song at Oberlin. Dori: Cool. Briggs: Can you just keep it down for a second? Dori: Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. Briggs: Would you to care to dance, my lady? Dori: I would love to. Briggs: Can you feel it? My erection? Dori: I haven't had a man in so long. Take me! Take all of me! Briggs: Chance Briggs! Dori: Yeah! Chance! Briggs: Shh! Dori: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Briggs: Chance Briggs! Sal: Attention staff, Chance Briggs. That is all. [ Ringing ] Kaiju: Moshi moshi. Owen: Yes, I have some information on the whereabouts of Detective Chance Briggs that you may be very interested in. Willy: Mommy, I heard weird noises last night. Is everything okay? Briggs: Your mom and I were making love, son. Willy: What does "making love" mean? Dori: Umm, it's... it's kind of hard to explain, honey. Briggs: Our bodies fit together like puzzle pieces. Dori: You know when mommy tries to put a Pringles can down the disposal? Willy: I don't understand. Briggs: It's like when a man puts his pen1s inside a woman's v*g1n* a bunch of times in a row. Willy: You did that to my mommy? Briggs: Damn right I did. Willy: Wow. I regret asking. [ Grunts ] Dori: [ Screams ] Briggs: Owen! Dori: No, no, no! Owen: What the heck was that all about? Dori: The killers found Briggs! You have to help him, please! Owen: Oh, you're trembling. You look so cold. Dori: I'm so scared! Oh, thank you so much. Okay. Owen: This feels so right, doesn't it? Dori: What? Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Owen: Hey, guys. Guys, wait up! Look, Mosura, I just talked to Chief Kaiju, and he needs to talk to you right away. So I'll watch the prisoner. Owen: He's at 465 Lick My Butthole Lane. Hai! Briggs: Whew. Got ourselves out of another jam, huh, partner? Owen: Yeah. Dori: [ Screaming ] Briggs: Oh, wait. No, this is still going. Engel: No, you're not! Briggs: Don't worry. You did really great, for a black guy. Engel: What'd you say? Forget about it. I just heard you wrong. Dori: [ Chuckles ] Willy: Mommy! Help me! Dori: Oh, right. My son, this whole thing. Kaiju: I'm gonna kill him! Blake: No, you're not! Let him go. Kaiju: Why should I? Blake: Because he's the only family I've got. [ Gunshot ] Briggs: Well, I guess I should be going now. You're not going anywhere, Briggs. You're in the army now. We're shipping out to Kandahar. Briggs: But I was just hiding! We're all hiding from something, private. Get me out of this place I am a man get this blood off my face let me live again na na-na na na-na na na-na na na na na na-na na na na-na na na-na na na-na na na naaaaaaa na na-na na na-na na na-na na na na na na-na na na na-na na na-na na na-na na na naaaaaa na na-na na na-na na na-na na na na Sal: Attention, staff. If you are under 30, "witness" came out before you were born. That is all.

Blake's son Willy witnesses a murder and it's up to detective Chance Briggs to save the day and also have a lot of sex.

fd_The_Originals_01x17

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KLAUS: [voiceover] They say the passage of time will heal all wounds, but the greater the loss, the deeper the cut, and the more difficult the process to become whole again. The pain may fade, but scars serve as a reminder of our suffering, and make the bearer all the more resolved never to be wounded again. So, as time moves along, we get lost in distractions. Act out in frustration, react with aggression, give in to anger. And, all the while we plot and plan as we wait to grow stronger, and before we know it, the time passes. We are healed. Ready to begin anew. KLAUS' PAINTING ROOM GENEVIEVE: [lays lazily on the couch] Spoken like a man who's made peace with his demons. KLAUS: [buttons his shirt] My demons are dead, or chased off. ELIJAH: [enters the room and glares at Genevieve] Yes, apart from the one lingering monster with whom you share a bed. [He holds out her heels in his hand] I trust you can find your clothing and the door. [Genevieve stands up, takes her heels from him, and leaves the room] ELIJAH: [annoyed] You do recall that woman tortured our sister? KLAUS: She also revealed the truth about our sister's treachery. ELIJAH: And as a consequence, Rebekah is gone forever. KLAUS: A desire which she apparently harbored for quite some time! ELIJAH: Niklaus, it has been a month. Now, I feel our sister's loss as deeply as you. But, you must stop distracting yourself with this ridiculous behavior and channel it into some kind of action. KLAUS: [grabs a paintbrush and returns to his art] Why must I, exactly? ELIJAH: Because over the course of Marcel's tenure, the city grew accustomed to having a king. You wanted this throne. Now, you must accept the responsibility that accompanies that. KLAUS: [begins to paint, only half-paying attention to him] Apologies, but I'm rather ensconced in other pursuits. ELIJAH: [takes the paintbrush from Klaus' hand] If you can so easily neglect your home, I wonder what will become of your daughter. Have you forgotten what it was like to live beneath the threat of violence? We must work together, Niklaus. Let's make this city whole again. KLAUS: Perhaps it is too broken to mend. [takes back his paintbrush and returns to his painting] ELIJAH: If you won't do anything, I will. TITLE CARD & OPENING CREDITS ST. ANNE'S CHURCH [Father Kieran and Elijah have gathered a meeting for the various supernatural and human factions to settle on an agreement, including Genevieve and Diego to represent the witches and the vampires, respectively] KIERAN: St. Anne's has long been neutral ground in our city. So, it's only fitting that we gather in this chamber at the behest of Elijah Mikaelson to bring harmony to this place we call home. Thank you all for coming. ELIJAH: Yes, thank you for coming. And welcome. [holds up a signed document] These are the rules of the city according to Marcel Gerard. [he tears the document in half] Which, of course, no longer apply, because I'm in charge. DIEGO: You said that if we came along, that we would get to run things by ourselves. Never mentioned anything about making yourself king. ELIJAH: Well, you were each selected to represent your own communites. In our honor, however, any issues that arise between factions, it will come to me. Now, we are all responsible for the current chaos in the city. However, you have one very, very simple choice ahead of you here. You can all play nicely together, or you can leave. COVEN HOUSE [Monique, Abigail, and Davina are in the greenhouse, practicing spells on dried roses] GIRLS: Belle la vie cette fleur. Belle la vie cette fleur. Belle la vie cette fleur. Maintenent. ABIGAIL: See Davina? It's easy. All you have to do is try. DAVINA: I am trying. MONIQUE: Trying and failing. Ever since you came back. DAVINA: When are you going to stop being such a bitch to me, Monique? MONIQUE: When you stop being weak. You're supposed to be a Harvest girl, but maybe you don't belong here. Maybe you never did. [Davina glares at Monique] THE BAYOU [Hayley approaches Jackson as they both watch Oliver and another wolf sparring and wrestling outside] HAYLEY: Shouldn't you be out there playing Fight Club with the rest of the frat boys? JACKSON: Nah. That's just for pecking order. [smiles] They already know who's the Alpha. WEREWOLF: Ohh! Next up! [Jackson and Hayley go inside, where the rest of the Crescent wolves are setting the table for dinner] JACKSON: You gotta try Tucker's ribs. HAYLEY: Then, what? Then we're gonna go play horseshoes? JACKSON: [laughs] Hey! Don't mock country living, darlin'. HAYLEY: Sorry. This is just a lot more family fun than I'm used to. JACKSON: Well, maybe I can help you get used to it. OLIVER: [joins them] Then, all we got to do is just forget that she spent half her life with humans, and the other half with vampires. JACKSON: Ollie, back off. HAYLEY: It's okay. If the runt of the litter has got something to say, he should say it. OLIVER: You know, word from the Quarter is your boy Elijah's holding some kind of power summit. Guess who wasn't invited? HAYLEY: Where did you hear this? OLIVER: It doesn't matter. The point is is that we're stuck here living in the swamp, while your vampire boyfriend's deciding who gets what in the city. But, I guess that shows how much respect he's got for the werewolves, huh? ST. ANNE'S CHURCH [At the summit, everyone is arguing over Elijah's new terms] DIEGO: [shouting] This is our city, too! We should be able to go wherever the hell we want! GENEVIEVE: [yelling over Diego's shouts] We would consider it an act of war! KIERAN: [looking agitated and pale] We're getting nowhere. You vile creatures cannot agree. ELIJAH: [shouts them all into silence] Father, calm yourself, please. [lowers his voice] Thank you. Now returning to the issue of boundaries, you will all heed to the following-- HAYLEY: [barges into the meeting and interrupts] --Are you serious? You're dividing up the city, and the werewolves don't even get a say? DIEGO: [angrily stands up and points at Hayley] What the hell is she doing here? ELIJAH: Diego, sit. We are not dividing the city. We're establishing boundaries-- HAYLEY: No, Elijah! There is not gonna be a peace if the werewolves are excluded. They want a seat at the table. [Diego and Genevieve both scoff] And if they don't get one, I can guarantee that you will all regret it. [The leaders all begin to argue again, and Elijah pulls Hayley aside to talk to her privately] ELIJAH: Do you have any idea what it took just to get those people in one room together? HAYLEY: No, actually, I don't! Because I didn't even know what you were doing out here until someone else told me. Tell me something, Elijah. Did you leave the werewolves out because of me? ELIJAH: I excluded them because they no longer reside in the French Quarter. My immediate concern is to end the mounting conflict here. Now, I can assure you once this treaty is solidified, it will expand to include your people. HAYLEY: And until then, I should tell them what? Sit? Stay? Roll over? ELIJAH: [shouts] I would prefer that you remove yourself from the process all together! [Hayley glares at him, and Elijah realizes that he was rude] [softer] Hayley, are you absolutely certain that you shouldn't return to the compound? HAYLEY: [laughs sarcastically] You think the baby belongs there? You think that's where she'll be safe? ELIJAH: Is the bayou any better? HAYLEY: The wolves deserve a voice. Give them one. You know it's the right thing to do. [Hayley leaves, as Elijah considers her words] KLAUS' ROOM [Klaus continues to paint while Genevieve updates him on the events of the day, wearing only a robe and her underwear] GENEVIEVE: You should have seen your brother's face when Hayley walked in. KLAUS: The Crescent curse is broken, then? GENEVIEVE: Do you believe this will actually work? That we can finally have some semblance of peace in this city? CAMI: [barges into the room unannounced] I saw the light from the courtyard and took a chance that... [notices Genevieve in her underwear] You weren't with a half-naked psychowitch. Seems I gambled, and lost. GENEVIEVE: [smirks] Ten minutes ago, I was fully naked. CAMI: [sarcastic] Oh! Then you served your purpose. Don't let me hold you up. GENEVIEVE: You O'Connells sure do love to piss off witches. [leaves Cami and Klaus to talk] CAMI: [waits until Genevieve has left] Really? The woman tried to blackmail me into stabbing you with the mystical knife of excruciating pain! KLAUS: Well, New Orleans breeds nothing if not strange bedfellows, but I assume you're not here to question me on my leisure activities. CAMI: I'm here about my uncle. He's deteriorating. The pills, the meditation, they're not working. His lucidity's shrinking by the day. A witch did this, a witch can undo it. You seem super-tight with Genevieve... maybe you could persuade her to help. KLAUS: It won't do any good. These hexes, they start with magic, but as they take root, they alter the very chemistry of the brain. I'm sorry, Cami. The damage is done. CAMI: I refuse to accept that, and you would, too, if you had any concept of family. PUBEdit [Davina walks into a pub and looks around until she sees Josh waiting for her in a booth, with his hood up to remain inconspicuous] DAVINA: Josh! JOSH: [smiles] Davina! [becomes worried] What are you doing out here? I would have met you anywhere you wanted. I mean, not anywhere Klaus or Marcel would be, which could be pretty much, you know, anywhere. But, you know what I mean. [he notices she's upset] Hey. You okay? DAVINA: It's Monique. She has no idea what I went through when I was dead. The ancestors hated me for what I did with my magic. I can't just start practicing again. [sighs] I knew I shouldn't have trusted Marcel when he told me to go back. I don't know how much more of it I can take. ON A ROOFTOP OUTSIDE THE PUB [Marcel is on a rooftop, listening to Davina and Josh talk, when Thierry arrives] THIERRY: On the outs with the witch again? MARCEL: I got it covered. THIERRY: What was so important you dragged me all the way out here? MARCEL: I have a proposal. I want you and all the guys who walked out on Klaus with you to join me. THIERRY: Rounding up an army? MARCEL: Can't take back the city without one. THIERRY: [skeptical] You have nothing. You have no weapons, no allies. You go even close to the Quarter, and Elijah will kill you--that's if Klaus doesn't get you first. MARCEL: So, what? Maybe I should hide out in Bucktown like you? I think you're here because you don't want to leave your home. I sure as hell don't want to leave mine. A battle is brewing, T, and while everyone's busy choosing sides, I'm gonna find a way to take back our city. So, you with me? THIERRY: You were always great with words, Marcel. But, it's gonna take more than a pretty speech this time. ST. ANNE'S CHURCH [Cami arrives in the attic to find Father Kieran shackling his ankles to the attic] CAMI: Is that really necessary? KIERAN: The sickness, it's--it's overtaking my inclination to forgive, replacing it with one thought that I could barely contain at the summit. "Kill every last one of them." CAMI: We'll figure it out. KIERAN: I tried to figure it out with Sean, but I was focused too much on that instead of trying to stop him, and I'm not--I'm not gonna let that happen to me. You're an O'Connell. They are going to ask you to take my place at the table. Don't. Just leave. Just start over. CAMI: I'm not going anywhere as long as there's still a chance. KIERAN: How many times do I have to tell you I can't be fixed? CAMI: And how many times do I have to tell you I will not stop trying? KIERAN: That is just stubbornness, like--like when you were a little girl. You always had to be right. You--you--you never listened. Just that thick head of yours. I prayed for you. And I got no answer. There is only blackness. There is only death. There's mine, and yours. [Kieran reaches out and grabs Cami in an attempt to kill her. She thrashes and falls to the ground. She tries to crawl away, but Kieran grabs her leg and pulls her toward him. She reaches for a lamp that fell in the scuffle and hit him over the head with it, knocking him unconscious] CAMI: Aah! Aah! No, no, no! Unh! ROUSSEAU'S [Elijah is meeting with Francesca Correa at the bar] FRANCESCA: Mr. Mikaelson. ELIJAH: Ms. Correa. FRANCESCA: Please, call me Francesca. ELIJAH: We can dispense with any formalities, Ms. Correa. I know exactly who you are. You own the Palace Royale Casino. You're one of the city's leading philanthropists. And--according to my sources--you're the matriarch to a rather sizeable drug trafficking empire. So, why am I here? FRANCESCA: Whatever you may think of me, my family's been a part of the human faction for years, which makes me uniquely qualified to take father Kieran's place. You'll deal with me from now on. ELIJAH: Are you giving me a mandate? FRANCESCA: No. [laughs] I'm giving you an ally. I want peace just as much as you do. My lifestyle, which I enjoy very much, depends on it. ELIJAH: Yes, I can see you're highly motivated. FRANCESCA: You know, I should mention, I've already spoken to the city's new mayor and the chief of police and other interested parties, and I have their blessing. I think you'll find it beneficial to have me on your side, even if it's just to prevent my less civil brethren from lashing out in ways that could prove painful to you. [smiles fakely] Have a good night. KLAUS' ROOM [Klaus is on his balcony, looking out at the city, before returning to his room, grabbing a paintbrush, and returning to his artwork. He finds Elijah standing in front of his painting] KLAUS: Not a fan of cerulean blue? ELIJAH: Not a fan of your continued indifference. KLAUS: Well, it's difficult trying to unite a community that has a history of mutual loathing. ELIJAH: Spare me the platitudes, Niklaus. KLAUS: A perspective, then? If you want peace, you must begin with the werewolves. A hundred years ago, they had a run at ruling this city. As of late, all they've had is time to watch their enemies tear down that legacy. ELIJAH: All the more reason why their enemies are reluctant to bring them to the table. KLAUS: Take a page from Bienville, brother. [squeezes his shoulder] If the table's the obstacle, remove it. [pours them both drinks] Do you recall in 1720, the Governor's desperation to secure our help to build the cities first levees? We sat with him, and refused his offer, and so, he plied us with wine, with corseted women, and with raucous camaraderie until he had his yes. THE ABBATOIR COMPOUND [Elijah has thrown a party at the compound, where all the factions can come celebrate together. Genevieve enters with Davina, Abigail, and Monique in tow. Diego and the other vampires are drinking together when they see Jackson, Hayley, Oliver and the other werewolves entering the party. Klaus and Elijah look at the party from the balcony] ELIJAH: [smiles] Are you suggesting that I throw a party? [Elijah and Klaus drink] MUSIC: Laissez les bon temps roulez! ELIJAH: I'm impressed, brother. KLAUS: Yes. ELIJAH: Now if I can just keep them from tearing one another to shreds. KLAUS: Well, then for your sake, here's to a spectacularly boring evening. THE COMPOUND [Everyone is mingling as Diego and some other vampires pass Jackson and Oliver] DIEGO: What's up, little man? [he purposely bumps into Jackson, which enrages Oliver] JACKSON: [to Oliver] He's not even worth it. [Elijah goes to follow after Jackson, sensing hostility brewing, but Francesca distracts him] FRANCESCA: Since you're preoccupied, I'll intuit your flattering compliment. [smiles] Thank you, I think I look stunning, too. ELIJAH: [follows after Francesca] I trust you've spent as much time fortifying alliances as you clearly have selecting that dress. FRANCESCA: So you do notice me. And, yes, I've already settled the dispute over the docks. I pacified the witches with an increased share in cemetery tours, and I've given the Crescents a Welcome-Back-to-Humanity gift in the form of $100 chips to my casino. So, I think I deserve some champagne, don't you? [Elijah grabs a glass of champagne off a passing hostess, but when she grabs for it, he pulls it away] ELIJAH: Ahh. You know, in light of Kieran's deteriorating condition, the others have acquiesced to your proposal. You will represent the human Faction until he's ready to resume. FRANCESCA: [takes the glass from him] Then, I suggest we make the most of our limited time together. [Elijah sees Hayley enter the party, and stares at her] [SCENE_BREAK] PUB [Josh is sitting alone at his booth at the pub. He drops his bill onto the floor, and when he sits back up, he's startled to see Marcel sitting across from him] JOSH: [gasps] God! [composes himself] Look. If you expect me to beg for my life, that's not me anymore. MARCEL: [smiles] You think I'm here to kill you? I'm here about Davina. You heard about the summit. If it falls apart, each faction's gonna look for leverage against the other ones. Davina has to be able to defend herself, even from her own people if need be. She has to start doing magic again. JOSH: Why are you telling me? MARCEL: Because someone has to tell her, and she won't listen to me. JOSH: So, what, I tell her, and you try to get her back on your side, right? Go back to using her as your personal weapon? MARCEL: I don't care whose side she ends up on, just that she's safe. Because we both know right now, she isn't. [Josh considers this for a moment] THE COMPOUND [Davina sees Oliver from across the room and smiles at him. He smiles back at her. Diego watches this happen, and angrily chugs his drink. Elijah notices his mood and intervenes] ELIJAH: Diego. You will be polite and welcoming. DIEGO: Yeah, see, his people killed my whole family. My sister bled out on the floor right next to me. The only reason I'm standing here is because Marcel came along and turned me before I bled out, too. So, I'm telling you right now--I cannot be polite and welcoming to that. ELIJAH: Diego, I understand your anger. However, there are certain overtures that need to be made, if we are to find a degree of peace. [Elijah leaves him and approaches Jackson] ELIJAH: Welcome to my home. JACKSON: I wouldn't be here if Hayley hadn't forced the issue. ELIJAH: Yes. It's rather unlikely that you'll experience an outpouring of kind sentiment here. The vampires in particular view you as...well, barbaric. JACKSON: Hayley tells me that this peace treaty is important to you. ELIJAH: Yes, it certainly is. So much so, in fact, that if anyone threatened to dismantle what I'm building here, I'd destroy everything they hold dear. [smiles] Have a wonderful evening. KLAUS' ROOM--BALCONY [Klaus is on the balcony, overlooking the party, when Genevieve finds him] GENEVIEVE: Looking for your shrink? KLAUS: Don't tell me you're jealous of Cami, love. GENEVIEVE: Just curious why you'd seek her company. She seems so... ordinary. KLAUS: Well, sometimes, ordinary is a welcome respite. GENEVIEVE: I thought I was your respite. KLAUS: Well, you are. You are. Promise me-- not another thought about Cami. [he notices Jackson walking up the stairs] Excuse me. KLAUS' ROOM [Inside Klaus' room, Klaus greets Jackson] KLAUS: I'm so glad you accepted my invitation. JACKSON: So, is this where the great Klaus Mikaelson says something poignant, and snaps my neck? KLAUS: I'm not here to kill you. I'm here to offer you a gift. JACKSON: Out of the kindness of your vampire heart? KLAUS: Our hearts are more similar than you might realize. You see, long before I evolved, mine beat as a werewolf. I know your power. I know your burden. I'm here to take the latter away. JACKSON: You want to make me a hybrid? I put my pack first, and I'm not gonna let anything compromise my family line, especially becoming some bloodthirsty vampire parasite. KLAUS: That pride, that sense of loyalty? Well, that's exactly why I haven't snapped your neck yet. JACKSON: Well, if you're not gonna kill me, then what the hell do you want? KLAUS: Only to give you back the city that was taken from you. How is that for poignant? JACKSON: Why would I trust someone who's conspiring behind his own brother's back? KLAUS: I'm not trying to undermine Elijah's venture. I'm supporting his vision. Vampires destroy life to survive, witches are only as powerful as their dead, but the werewolves have thrived because their strength comes from family unity. The safety of that unity is what I want for my unborn child. The painful truth is, vampires are the antithesis of unity. JACKSON: So, what, after a thousand years, you're finally ready to embrace the other half of your family tree? Maybe the other half doesn't want you. KLAUS: Oh, they will once they return to the Quarter. [Klaus pushes past Jackson to grab a wooden box from his desk. Jackson becomes curious] JACKSON: You got a plan to back that up? KLAUS: [pulls out Cary's ring from the box] My mother was a very powerful witch. I watched her craft all manner of magical items, but her most prized possession was this ring. I hadn't seen it for 1,000 years, and then it turned up hanging around the neck of a werewolf, a direct descendant of my biological father. I believe she gave him this ring as a way of freeing him. JACKSON: How so? KLAUS: Daylight rings shield vampires from the sun. So, why not a moonlight ring, to protect werewolves from the curse? Think about it! No more breaking bones, no more losing control to the beast within. JACKSON: [convinced] What do I have to do? DOWNSTAIRS AT THE PARTY [Davina leans against the wall, looking bored, when Oliver approaches her] OLIVER: Hey. You look, um... DAVINA: Nervous? Out of place? Short in this dress? [laughs nervously] OLIVER: [smiles and laughs] I was gonna say pretty. I'm Oliver. So, what's the name of the girl I'm about to ask to dance? MONIQUE: [appears out of nowhere] Monique. Her name is Monique. [She looks over at Davina, and smirks] [Davina, upset and annoyed, storms away, leaving Monique and Oliver to dance] [Elsewhere at the party, Hayley is standing on the sidelines, watching everyone dance] ELIJAH: [appears beside her] Would you care to dance? HAYLEY: [takes his offered hand and allows him to lead her onto the dance floor] You outdid yourself! You even got Klaus to come out and play. ELIJAH: Yes, it seems that only a sizeable soir e is enough to tear my brother away from his efforts at the easel. HAYLEY: That's never a good sign. Klaus once told me that his painting was a metaphor for control, for achieving his vision through sheer force of will. ELIJAH: Well, truthfully, I'd be shocked if he didn't have at least a dozen or so of those visions swarming around in that insidious skull of his. I do hope your daughter inherits her mother's...[gazes at Hayley from head to toe] Everything. [He spins Hayley around dramatically, and she smiles] HAYLEY: It is weird, being back here. ELIJAH: Not unpleasant, I hope? HAYLEY: Not entirely. ELIJAH: Are you entirely sure you shouldn't be here with us? HAYLEY: Why, Elijah? Because you don't think it's safe in big, bad Wolf Country? I'm not gonna sit in a rocking chair and knit booties, or haven't you figured that out yet? [Jackson joins them] JACKSON: Can I have a minute, Hayley? ELIJAH: You can have it later. HAYLEY: [frustrated] Actually, he can have this dance. [Hayley takes Jackson's hand and leads him away from Elijah to dance] JACKSON: [waits for Elijah to get out of earshot] Everything all right? HAYLEY: Yeah, fine. We were just discussing the future of the city. JACKSON: How can you be thinking about the city right now? I should have told you how beautiful you look tonight. [Elijah eavesdrops on their conversation from nearby] CAMI'S APARTMENT [Cami is at her apartment, making herself a drink, when Marcel appears behind her, startling her] MARCEL: Easy. Easy. CAMI: [calms down, and offers him her glass] Julep minus the sugar and mint? MARCEL: [takes a drink, but is noticeably worried when he notices her injuries] Hey. I just saw Kieran. He's not gonna hurt you again. In fact, he won't leave the attic at all. I arranged for a little boundary spell. CAMI: You got a witch to help you? I thought they hated you. MARCEL: For you, I found one who doesn't. [smiles] Hey. What's wrong? CAMI: Nothing. [tears up] You're the first person to help me in a month. Kieran's the only family I have left. Without him, I'm alone. MARCEL: Yeah. Yeah. I'm a little short on family myself these days. Hey. If there's anything I can do, Cami, just just let me know. CAMI: [smiles weakly] There is one thing. [holds up her bottle] We're out of bourbon. [Cami and Marcel both laugh despite themselves] THE ABBATOIR COMPOUND [The party continues on at the Mikaelson's home. Oliver goes to the bar for a drink when Diego approaches him] DIEGO: Hey, wolf boy. Should have had them put it in a bowl for you. OLIVER: [smiles manically] Well, yeah, if you want me to crush your skull with it. FRANCESCA: [appears to intervene] Please, boys. At least fight over something interesting. Me, perhaps? DIEGO: [to Francesca] Nah, you don't want to get involved with his kind. See, they got this nasty little habit of going berserk and ripping innocent people to shreds. OLIVER: No, no, no. Okay? Look. If my people wronged you in any way, you have my condolences, okay? Though I'd be surprised my kin could choke them down, being half as ugly as him. [Furious, Diego picks Oliver up and throws him across the courtyard, where he falls onto a table covered in glasses of champagne, which shatter upon impact. Diego vamp-speeds over to him, but Oliver pins him against a wall. Suddenly, Elijah appears and pulls Oliver off of him before pushing him against a table] ELIJAH: This ends now. I won't ask again. JACKSON: Oh, we'll end it all right. [Elijah looks over to find Jackson pinning Diego to the wall, a stake aimed right at his heart] HAYLEY: [calls out from the staircase] What's stopping you? Kill him. Go ahead, Elijah. Do it. I mean, it's not like he doesn't deserve to die. [Nearby, Klaus and Francesca are watching the fight] FRANCESCA: Shouldn't you intervene or something? KLAUS: Why would I? This party just got interesting. HAYLEY: I mean, it was Oliver who handed Rebekah over to the witches so they could torture her. But, then again, wasn't it Diego who led a werewolf massacre last month? And the witches cursed the wolves, while the humans stood back and let it all happen. So, when you think about it, everyone here deserves to die. ELIJAH: [angry] Are approaching a point? HAYLEY: My point, Elijah, is this-- if we can't all learn to get along, if our families can't create some sort of community, then what's the point? Kill each other and get it all over with. [After considering Hayley's words, Elijah lets go of Oliver, and Jackson reluctantly lets go of Diego, as well] COVEN HOUSE [Josh is at Davina's new home, hanging out with her in the garden, where he's looking through all the herbs and dried flowers] JOSH: You know, I've only gotten roses once in my life. Didn't even get to keep them. DAVINA: Why not? JOSH: My first boyfriend--my only boyfriend, really--gave them to me for Valentine's Day senior year. Tried to hide them in my bedroom, but my parents found them. You may not know it, but roses will jam even the best paper shredders. [beat] You know, I don't have a home to go home to, or a family to go home to. I used to hate myself for that, but the thing is, I don't really care what they think anymore. If your family doesn't like you the way you are, screw them! You got me, and Cami...even Marcel. If you want. DAVINA: [sighs] Marcel used me. JOSH: He used you to fight the people who were trying to kill you. And, you know, he also saved you from those people. So you don't have to trust the guy, but he does love you. [smiles] And P.S? So do I. DAVINA: [smiles] Even if I don't have any magic? All the power I had was from the other Harvest girls. I don't even know what I have without it. JOSH: Don't you owe it to yourself to find out? You're a witch, Davina. You can't change your DNA any more than I can, so you might as well embrace it. [He hands her the dried rose he's been holding] DAVINA: [whispers] Belle la vie cette fleur. Belle la vie cette fleur. Belle la vie cette fleur. Belle la vie cette fleur. Belle la vie cette fleur. Maintenent. [the flower comes back to life, and she smiles as she hands it back to Josh] JOSH: [grinning] Aww! CAMI'S APARTMENT [Marcel and Cami are drunk and laughing hystericallly as they return to Cami's apartment. She trips coming in the doorway] CAMI: Ow! Oh! Oh, oh, oh. MARCEL: Ha ha! You ok? CAMI: Yeah. Just some bruises. I'm still bruised. [Marcel picks her up and carries her to her room] Oh! "Bruise" is such a funny word. It sounds like booze. Do we have any more booze? MARCEL: Uh, no. I think we drank it all. CAMI: [pretend pouts] Oh. You're a good friend, Marcel. MARCEL: [smiles] You should lie down. CAMI: [hugs him] I'm tired of being alone. MARCEL: I am, too. [They start making out, and eventually move to her bed, where they have s*x. Nearby, a woven dreamcatcher lies on her desk. Over at the Coven House, Genevieve holds a similar dreamcatcher in her hand, allowing her to spy on them, and see Marcel and Cami having s*x] [Afterwards, Cami watches Marcel get dressed and gather his things] CAMI: Not that that wasn't totally worth it, but it can never happen again. MARCEL: What if one of us craves another julep? CAMI: For whatever reason, Klaus trusts me, and you're the person he probably hates most right now. He'd see it as a betrayal. That wouldn't be good for either of us. [Marcel finds the dreamcatcher Genevieve planted in Cami's apartment, and picks it up] CAMI: Marcel? [smiles widely] It really was totally worth it. MARCEL: Yeah, it was. ON A ROOFTOP [Marcel is meeting with Thierry again to pitch his plan. He looks at the dreamcatcher he took from Cami's apartment, and then tosses it on the ground and stomps on it] MARCEL: You said I had nothing. You were wrong. I have the same thing I had when I rebuilt this city from the ashes the first time. Everything to gain and nothing to lose. I'm making inroads, allies, not the least of which is Davina, and I'm not leaving this roof until I can count you in, too. Besides, let's be honest, T, I'm all you got. I know those vampires, they didn't just leave the compound. They left New Orleans. THIERRY: So, us against the world? MARCEL: We'll get a third and a fourth. And pretty soon, we're gonna have that army. [He and Thierry stand and stare at the city skyline] CLOSING MONTAGE [Klaus stares at his painting for a moment before grabbing a paintbrush and getting to work] KLAUS: [voiceover] All change begins with a plan, the success of which depends on several things: depth of commitment, passion for one's cause... [At the compound, the leaders of the five factions: Elijah, Diego, Genevieve, Francesca, and Hayley, representing the Originals, the vampires, the witches, the humans, and the werewolves, respectively, have finally drafted their peace treaty. They each cut their palms and drip their blood into an inkwell, in order to sign the document with a mixture of all their blood] [Father Kieran clutches a rosary in the attic of St. Anne's Church and prays, while Cami watches him from across the room] [In the bayou, Hayley has returned to the long banquet table where they eat dinner, where everyone has gathered around to celebrate] JACKSON: Hey! To Hayley! WEREWOLVES: To Hayley! KLAUS: [voiceover] Willingness to embrace a new path. Determination to overcome any obstacle. And, in some cases, even making unnatural alliances. [Davina is still in the greenhouse in the Coven House when Monique and Abigail return. They're shocked to see that Davina has magically restored all of the dead flowers in the room, all of which are now in full moon. Monique glares at Davina] [Outside, Oliver and Jackson have a private chat] OLIVER: You made a deal with Klaus Mikaelson? I'd rather turn every full moon. JACKSON: If Klaus is right, this magic could do more than just stop us from turning. We could finally control what we are! We could draw on all the strength, all the speed, the raw power of our werewolf form. Our bite would be lethal to vampires, 24/7. The humans who hunt us, the witches who curse us, the vampires who hate us--we wouldn't just be their equals. We'd be their superiors. KLAUS' ROOM [Elijah enters with the signed peace treaty and the inkwell] ELIJAH: Sign it. KLAUS: Why? You've already done so on our behalf. ELIJAH: Brother, I am not a fool. It's clear to me you're not as disinterested as you'd like me to believe. Sign, please. If there is no peace between us, then how can you expect others to follow suit? KLAUS: Fine, if it will make you happy. But, I assure you, this city's inhabitants will not adhere to this agreement. [He signs the contract] ELIJAH: Well, you are welcome to wager against me. You will lose. KLAUS: We'll see. [We get a glimpse of Klaus' painting--it's of the New Orleans skyline. In the sky, Klaus has added a large full moon] Wiki

After accusing Klaus of doing nothing while their control over the Quarter crumbles, Elijah makes a move to take matters into his own hands. He receives an intriguing offer of support from Francesca, a beautiful woman from a powerful New Orleans family. In an attempt to bring the warring factions of the city together, the Mikaelsons throw an extravagant party, where Klaus offers Jackson a tempting deal, Elijah and Hayely share a dance, and a violent fight comes to a surprising end. Finally, even as Marcel works on a new path to power, he continues to help Cami deal with her Uncle Kieran's tragedy.

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"Cry Your Name" 39th Episode of Roswell Production Code: 2ADA17 [SCENE_BREAK] (Episode begins with a recap of recent events by Maria.) Maria: (in front of chalkboard - erases the word PROM) I told you. Prom sucks. Take Liz for example. She totally thought that prom would be the perfect opportunity to rekindle things with Max. No. And Kyle. He thought he'd finally get closer to Tess, as in a lot closer, until he realized that his feelings for Tess were a little more sibling than s*x kitten. Strike two. But, there is a silver lining to this gray cloud of prom disasters - Alex. He came back from Sweden a new man and Isabel finally noticed. And I think with a little help from Liz and myself those two crazy kids might actually find true love. [SCENE_BREAK] (Alex, Maria, and Liz are in Alex's bedroom.) Alex: (on the phone, guitar in hand) Yeah, it was a great night for me too. Isabel: (on the other end of the phone) Yeah, so what are you doing tonight? Alex: (looks to Maria and Liz) Tonight? (Liz and Maria shake their heads no.) Alex: I can't do tonight. Isabel: Why? Alex: I have a..d'aa.(looks to Maria and Liz for an excuse) Liz: (whispers) Study.study. Alex: .I'm studying. Isabel: Alex, an A is the best you can get. Alex: Yeah I know, but I.I got a.I got a monstrous final in.a.(looks to Maria and Liz.) Liz hands Maria a book and Maria points to it. Robert Frost? Maria shakes her head and mouths something to Alex. English.Eng.English.yeah, killer final. Uh, Mr. Brazzi's really puttin' the screws to us. Isabel: Well, if you'd rather stay in studying and not come out and play with me. Liz: (flex's her muscles with Maria, whispers) Stay strong. Alex: I.I don't want to, but I have to. Isabel: Okay. Well if you change your mind, I'll be at the Crashdown, probably until closing so. Alex: Okay, well uh, I'll see you later. Isabel: Okay. (hangs up) (Alex hangs up the phone and falls back on his bed, sighing - Maria and Liz sit next to him.) Maria: I'm so proud of you. Alex: This blows. Maria: Well at least you have the upper hand. Liz: Yeah, you've got her chasing you. Who would have thought that? Maria: Not me. Alex: She's thinking about me. Even now she's on her bed and she's thinking about me. Maria: Okay, so are we done with this Isabel thing? All right, Max kissed Tess. Liz: Maria, let's go to work. Maria: Okay. Liz: Come on. Alex, now Alex, you be strong! Okay? Maria: Strong, strong, strong. Liz: You be strong. Okee? Goodbye. Alex: Strong. Strong..yeah. (As Maria and Liz leave a delivery guy arrives at the door.) Delivery Guy: Hey is this Whitman? Liz: Yeah. Hey Alex! Your food's here. Maria: (opening the door) Here, come in. (Alex walks in the room.) Maria: Bye. Alex: Ahh, It's about time. Delivery Guy: Sorry man, I got turned around on Cherry Drive. Alex: (taking the food) Yeah.. Delivery Guy: (taking the credit card) Thanks. Alex: (taking the food out of the bag) Hey, this isn't even warm. Delivery Guy: Oh, yeah, sorry. You better nuke it. Alex: I'm...I'm so sick of this. I'm....always the same thing. Always cold, always the same thing. I'm just so sick of everything. Delivery Guy: Could, could you sign here, please? Alex: (while signing) Why does life have to be so wrong? Why does everything have to be a lie? Delivery Guy: I don't know dude. (Delivery guy leaves and Alex goes back to his room - He takes the picture of Leana and him and stares at it.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Valenti driving at night in his police car. He stops on the road when he comes upon an accident and a congregation of police cars.) Valenti: Hey Hanson. Whatcha you got? Hanson: (sighs) Pretty bad. Sedan doing about 70 did a head-on with a Semi. Valenti: Fatalities? Hanson: Yeah, one. Valenti: Anyone I know? (Hanson stops and gives him a look. Valenti walks up to the car with a flashlight to see the victim.) [SCENE_BREAK] (At the Crashdown - plates crash to the floor. Maria screams.) Maria: (walks away - stressed out) Great. Max: You are so full of it. Michael: I just call it like I see it. Max: You can't compare The Matrix with Crouching Tiger. Michael: Crapping Tiger is a chick flick with kung fu. Max: First of all crapping.Crouching Tiger is actually about something: Love, honor, duty. Michael: Matrix is about something: Illusion, reality, gunfire. Max: You simply cannot prefer Keanu Reeves to Michelle Yeoh. You can't. I won't let you. (Liz works at a table while Isabel, Kyle, and Tess all sit at booth looking at pictures together. Maria walks into the back to find Valenti standing there, a sullen look on his face.) Maria: What?..(screams) Nooooo! (Maria runs out and begins to cry in Liz's arms. Everyone gets up and Valenti walks in.) Valenti: There's been an accident. Alex is dead. [Opening Credits] (Max, Liz, Maria, Michael, Isabel, Kyle, Tess, and Valenti all gather outside in front of City Hall until a car pulls up.) Valenti: (to the men who get out of the car) Hey. (He leads them away.) (Max leaves the group and walks to the car.) Isabel: (stepping forward) He'll need to use his power to open the doors. Max opens the body bag. He'll take a deep breath, put his hand on his chest, and bring him back to life. And Alex will sit up suddenly, and Max will jump back, and the whole wagon will shake a little.The whole.The whole wagon will shake and.and they'll come running back here with big goofy grins on their faces and.and we'll have to come up with some kind of cover story for Hanson and everybody. (Max comes out of the car just as Valenti comes out of the building.) Isabel: Max? Valenti: I think you should all go home now. Maria: (begins to cry) Oh my god! (Two men wheel Alex's body out of the car.) Michael: Come on. I'll take you home. (Max looks down at his blood-covered hand as Isabel walks away, crying.) Tess: Go after her. Max: Liz, I. Liz: Yeah, go after her Max. [SCENE_BREAK] (Kyle is awake on his couch as his alarm goes off. He turns it off and rolls out of bed and into a pushup just as Valenti walks in.) Kyle: Hey Dad. Valenti: 'Morning. (Sits next to Kyle on the couch.) Not a very happy day is it. (Kyle shakes his head no.) Listen. Uh.This may not seem like very much right now, but there's something I'd like you to know. Alex died yesterday. He didn't die today, and I don't want you remembering it as if it happened today. All right? Happy birthday son. [SCENE_BREAK] (Alex walks into the Crashdown.) Isabel: (hugs Alex) Oh my god! Oh Alex! Oh my god, I thought you were dead! Alex: Oh, no no no. Listen that was just.that was just a big misunderstanding. Everything's fine. All right? Isabel: Okay. Alex: Okay. Sit down, sit down, sit down. Alex: So, how are you doing? Isabel: Fine. Fine now. Alex: Good. So have you made any decision about college yet? Isabel: Yeah, I think I'm going to stay. Graduate with Max and you guys. Alex: Good. Good. Because I'd miss you if you were gone. Isabel: Yeah, I'd miss you too. I just.I just don't want to be away from you anymore. Alex: Aww, well, no worries about that. I'm not going anywhere.except band practice. See, I'm running late and the guys are waitin' for me. So, I gotta jet. But I'm gonna see you tonight, right? Isabel: Yeah, yeah. Alex: (while kissing Isabel) Okay. (gets up to leave) I will see you later. (Isabel is sleeping in her bedroom.) Mrs. Evans: Isabel. Isabel, wake up honey. Isabel: Oh my god. It was just a dream. It was just a dream. Mrs. Evans: (sympathetic tone) Ohh sweetheart. Ohh. [SCENE_BREAK] (Amy, Maria, and Michael all mourn at the DeLuca's house as tAhe phone rings.) Michael: (answering the phone) DeLuca residence. Sean: Michael? What are you, sneaking breakfast now? Don't you have to be at school or something? Michael: Sean, shut up, okay? Alex was killed last night. Sean: What? How? Michael: Car accident. Sean: Oh geez. How's Maria? Michael: Pretty torn up. Same with your aunt. Sean: Look, I uh, I got this court thing in Albuquerque. They're telling me I got to stay a couple more days. So, could you, you know, look after my family? Michael: I'll take care of 'em. Sean: Thanks. Later. [SCENE_BREAK] (Mrs. Parker at Liz's house. The phone rings.) Mrs. Parker: (answering the phone) Sean? Max: No, Max. Mrs. Parker: Sorry Max. I thought you were Sean. I just. I just got off the phone with him. This is horrible. I. I can't even believe it. Max: Me neither. Mrs. Parker: How are you doing? I know you were so close to him. Max: Not as close as Liz. How is she? Mrs. Parker: She's not doing so.so good. I.I think she's in denial. Max: Can I talk to her? Mrs. Parker: She's not here. She.She went out. I don't even know where she went. She just needs a little bit of space right now. Max: Right. Umm.can.can you just tell her that I called? Thanks. (Liz walks around a junkyard full of cars. She finds Alex's car and climbs in through the window to look in it. She finds the picture of Alex and Leanna with Alex's face ripped out of the picture.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Valenti and Hanson are at the hospital questioning the man who was driving the truck in the accident.) Truck Driver: Hitting my brakes and trying to turn away but. Valenti: You turned to the left or the right? Truck Driver: Right. He was coming at me from the left. Hanson: Skid marks say he turned to the right. Truck Driver: 'Course they do. Why would I lie about. Valenti: How many beers did you have at the Bison Pub? Truck Driver: I had one beer. Three hours before I got on the road. Valenti: You said you were going 65. Truck Driver: I said I was going 55 and I don't like the sound of these questions. Hanson: Just doing our job. Truck Driver: That's bull. You tryin' to pin this on me. When the truth is that boy deliberately swerved into my lane for no reason. [SCENE_BREAK] (Isabel and Mrs. Evans in their kitchen.) Mrs. Evans: Nobody knew where he was going. Isabel: (hysterical) But he wanted to stay home. If I hadn't called him and put the idea in his head.He.He would have never gotten in the car. He would have never gotten in the car! Mrs. Evans: Isabel it was an accident. Honey, it's tragic and it's painful and it's something that none of us are ever gonna forget. But it's not your fault. Isabel: I can't stop it. I can't stop thinking that the people I love and care about, they end up hurt or dead. Mrs. Evans: Oh honey. I wish.I wish I had some kind of special powers or something to make all of this go away for you. Isabel: Special powers don't help. I have to get out of here. Mrs. Evans: Where do you want to go? Isabel: Mom, there's something I need to tell you. [SCENE_BREAK] (Liz walks through the hallway to her locker at school, stopping to see the memorial in front of Alex's locker.) Maria: Liz. Liz: (hugging Maria) Hey. How you doing? Maria: Not good. Liz: Just try and get through the day, okay? Just keep moving forward. Keep breathing. Maria: Okay. How 'bout you. How are you? Liz: (sternly) I'm fine. Maria: Come on, it's me. You don't have to put up a front. Liz: (pulls out the picture she found) Look at this. Michael: Isn't that? Liz: Yeah. It's Alex and Leanna in Sweden. I found it in the wreck. Maria: (leaning into Michael) Oh my god! Oh my god! Michael: (supporting her) It's all right. Hey. It's all right. Maria: Oh my god! Liz: Look. Look at the way it's been cut up. Someone cut off. Maria: Are you sick? I can't believe you went there! Liz: Maria! This means something. Why is Alex's head missing? Maria: Stop it! Stop it! Michael: (trying to comfort/calm down Maria) Shhh. It's okay. Liz: (starting to walk away) It means something. [SCENE_BREAK] (Valenti questions the delivery guy in an office at school.) Delivery Guy: I don't know. He just got really depressed. It was weird you know. I mean I deliver a lot of cold food.and usually people just get pissed off. You know, they don't act like it's the end of the world. Valenti: Is that how he acted, like it was the end of the world? Delivery Guy: Yeah. Valenti: He say anything specific you remember? Delivery Guy: "Life was wrong. Everything about life is a lie. Why does it have to be that way?" Stuff like that. Valenti: Okay. Thanks Jerry. (The bell rings. The delivery guy leaves and Hanson walks in.) Hanson: (hands Valenti a file) Talked to his teachers. None of them saw anything unusual in his behavior at the time but looking back they think they saw some warning signs: Moody, sometimes confident, even cocky. Other times sullen, quiet, and focused. Valenti: Sounds like every teenager I ever met. Hanson: Listen, I know you don't want to talk about this theory. Valenti: Don't go there. Hanson: Jim, there's a pattern here. Valenti: (stern) No, there's not. Hanson: I hope you're right. [SCENE_BREAK] (People gather around a memorial for Alex on the field leaving objects, lighting candles, and mourning his death. Max and Tess sit under the bleachers talking.) Max: It was so much.blood. I wasn't prepared for that. Tess: You had to try. Max: I didn't want to.touch him. And then his skin was so cold.(buries his head in his hands and starts to cry) (Isabel, Maria, and Michael walk up. Max immediately gets up and turns his back on them to wipe away his tears.) Michael: School's brought in the official grief counselor. She's got all our names. So, be on the lookout. Maria: Do you see these people? Who are they? They don't even know Alex. They weren't even his friend. And they're sitting there praying and crying and putting on this show as if they gave a damn about Alex while he was alive! God, it makes me so angry! (Kyle walks up behind them.) Kyle: Hey. Mr. Whitman called the house this morning and asked if me and (points to Michael and Max) you and you would be pallbearers tomorrow. Michael: Right. Max: Sure. [SCENE_BREAK] (The delivery guy (Jerry) is talking to a group of people on the field gathered around him.) Jerry: (exaggerating) So, finally, I left. He was losing it and you could totally see it in his eyes. I mean, he was on his way out of this life. Liz: (breaks up the circle of people) Is that a fact? Jerry: Oh. Liz: I'd like to ask you some questions if you have the time. [SCENE_BREAK] (Isabel joins the group under the bleachers.) Isabel: I have something to tell all of you. I know this is a bad time, but umm.I'm graduating early. I'm leaving in June to start college in the fall in San Francisco. Max: When did all this happen? Isabel: I've been thinking about it for a while. I talked to Mom this morning and she's fine with it so. Max: Look, Isabel, this isn't the time to be making snap judgments about things. Isabel: This is my life Max. Max: No one is disputing that. Maria: Do we have to talk about this now? Michael: Maria's right. This isn't a decision that we have to make today. Isabel: This isn't a decision we have to make at all. It's my decision. I made it. I'm leaving Roswell. [SCENE_BREAK] (Jerry and Liz talk on the field.) Liz: And then what did he say? Jerry: I don't know. I mean, "Life isn't right." Or "Life is wrong." Something like that. Liz: Yeah and then what did you say? Jerry: Well, I said, "Whatever dude." Liz: "Whatever dude?" That's your reaction to a man who is devastated and on his way out of this life? Isn't that how you describe him to your fan cub? Jerry: Look, I wasn't.I mean, uh.I'm sorry I sounded like that. Liz: Yeah. If you remember anything else.anything, my parents own the Crashdown, you can usually find me there. [SCENE_BREAK] (Liz shows Valenti the photo she found.) Liz: I know that this photo means something. I know it. Valenti: Yeah. Liz: What? Valenti: Well I don't really know. Liz: What! Don't give me that! You are on to something. This is a clue isn't it? Valenti: Maybe. We're a long way. Liz: You.You have a theory about this don't you. Valenti: (starts to open the door) Liz, this has been a very very difficult day and I think maybe the best thing for you now. Liz: No! Valenti:.would be to go on home and try to get some. Liz: No, I do not need another grief counselor. I want some answers! I know what happened to Alex was not an accident. I know it with very fiber in my being and I am gonna find out the truth so cut the crap and tell me what the photo means to you. Valenti: Okay. You're not gonna like what I'm about to say. Liz: Tell me. Valenti: It's beginning to look more and more likely that Alex might have deliberately turned his car into the oncoming traffic. Liz: Wha.Wh-Why would he do that? Valenti: The last couple of weeks, people have noticed changes in Alex's behavior. Moodiness, lack of focus, his grades started to slip. Liz: Oh please. Valenti: Liz, I interviewed the truck driver; I.I went to the accident scene; I saw the school reports. Liz: You are saying that Alex killed himself over bad grades. Valenti: We may never know exactly why Alex did what he did. But.Look at this. (picks up the photo) This is part of the puzzle isn't it. I mean look at it! He deliberately defaced his own image. The.believe me.it.it tares me up to even say this. Liz: (grabs the photo out of his hands) Thank you for your time. (Liz leaves Valenti's house. She stops on the sidewalk and starts coughing/throwing up.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Max is trying on a suit in his bedroom and looking at himself in the mirror when Liz knocks on his window. He opens it.) Liz: I don't want to be alone. Can.Can I stay here tonight? Max: Sure. (Liz steps through the window.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Max and Liz are talking in his room.) Max: That's crazy. Liz: (pacing around the room) Yes. I know. That is what I said. Max: Alex would never do something like that. Liz: No! Of course not! It's ridiculous. And.you know what's gonna happen.Hanson is gonna go and he's going to put that report and it's going to be in the newspaper for every single person to read. All of his friends, his family. Max: (gets up) No. Liz: Alex Whitman's death was declared a suicide yesterday by the Roswell Sheriff's Department! Max: We won't let that happen. I'll.I'll talk to Valenti. He's just jumping to conclusions. Liz: Just the fact that his parents have to go through this.this nightmare. They do not need to think that they're son.(sits down and begins to cry slightly) Max: (sits down next to Liz) Liz, I'll handle it. Liz: Thank you. (stomach growls) Oh. Max: Hungry? Liz: That's embarrassing. Max: No, that's all right. When's the last time you ate? Liz: Umm, uh, yesterday, I think. Max: How does frozen macaroni and cheese sound? [SCENE_BREAK] (Michael hands a drink to Amy who is sitting on the couch in her house and then sits down.) Amy: Oh.no more tea. Thank you Michael. Michael: It's not tea.hot buttered rum. Help you sleep. My foster dad taught me to mix drinks before I could ride a bike. He called it job training. If all else fails I could always tend bar. Amy: (chuckling) Oh what a charming man. Uh, is Maria still asleep? Michael: Yeah, she keeps kickin' off the covers though. Amy: Mmm, she always does do that. You know, I think this is the most time you've ever spent in my house. Michael: Yeah, I.I could leave if you want. Just, it's nice to be around people. Amy: No, no. That's not what I mean at all. Uh, what I'm trying to say is that you've really been great for my family. And it's a wonderful thing to see my daughter loved. And I would like to see a lot more of that. And as far as I'm concerned you'll always be welcome in this house. Michael: Thank you. Amy: Welcome on the couch. Michael: Right. Amy: (takes a sip of her drink) Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] (Isabel sits at the counter at the Crashdown talking to Alex.) Isabel: You're not really here. Are you? Alex: No. You're talking in your sleep. Isabel: God I wish I could really talk to you Alex. Alex: I'm the next best thing. What do you want to say? Isabel: That I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Alex: Me too. Isabel: I never should have called you. Alex: I called you. Remember? Isabel: I never should've brought you into any of this. Alex: Any of what? Isabel: (bows her head) Me. My life. Alex: You think being with you had something to do with what happened? Isabel: Yes, I do. I don't know how but.God, If you hadn't been involved with me. Alex: (tilts her chin so she's looking at him) Hey, if I was really here, I'd tell you you're full of crap. You know that. Isabel: Yeah, but it wouldn't make me feel any better. Alex: I better go. Isabel: Why? Alex: I'm not making things any better for you. Isabel: No, please. Please don't go. Alex: I'm already gone. This is just a dream you'll eventually wake up from. Isabel: Will I see you again? Alex: That depends on you. But I have a feeling, I wouldn't want me to be here. They kiss. Bye Isabel. (Alex gets up and walks to the door.) Isabel: (crying) I love you Alex. Alex: I think we both know.I loved you too. (Isabel turns over, crying in her bed.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Max and Liz talk and eat in Max's kitchen.) Max: Remember the time he electrified Mr. Hoffman's desk? Liz: Yeah. You know, he almost got suspended for that. Max: Never happen. The teacher's loved him. That guy could get away with anything.At the prom, I overheard Mr. Hoffman telling Se ora Villa the whole chair thing. That was a riot. Liz: Yeah, about the prom. I saw you kiss Tess. It's okay. You're moving on. Max: Liz. Liz: No. We've discussed this, you're moving on and I am moving on. That's the decision we've made. I just wanted you to know that I saw you and that I'm okay with it. Okay? Max: Okay. Liz: Okay. Thank you very much for the macaroni and cheese and um, thank you for listening. (Gets up to leave) Just always be my friend. Will you do that Max? Max: You know I will. [SCENE_BREAK] (Alex's funeral. Maria sings Amazing Grace. After the funeral Max talks to Valenti. Liz sees them from the car as it goes past.) Valenti: If this is about what I said to Liz the other night. I don't have any apologies to make. Max: How can you say that to us? How can you even think. Valenti: This is difficult for everybody Max. Max: (point his finger in Valenti's face) Alex Whitman did not kill himself, okay? It didn't happen. And you'd better not let Hanson or anyone else put that in some file. Valenti: (hands Max Alex's file) Here. Max: What's that? Valenti: It's everything we've discovered about Alex Whitman over the last two days. Read it Max. (Max and Valenti stand next to Valenti's truck as Max reads the file.) [SCENE_BREAK] (After the funeral, everyone gathers at Alex's house.) Kyle: So.Frisco, huh? Isabel: Yeah. Kyle: I think it's great. Isabel: Yeah. Tess: What about the chicken? Michael: Maria hates barbecue, there's gotta be something here she'll eat. (Liz walks outside to the pool and up to Mr. Whitman.) Liz: Hi Mr. Whitman. Mr. Whitman: Liz, how are you? Liz: Okay. Mr. Whitman: Well, I uh.I hope you know how much Alex loved you and Maria. He just thought the world of you two. Liz: Thank you. Can I ask you a favor? Mr. Whitman: Anything. Liz: Can I go sit in his room for a while? Mr. Whitman: I uh.I haven't been able to bring myself to go in there just yet. But.sure, go ahead. Liz: (hugging Mr. Whitman) Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] (Liz sits on Alex's bed, playing his guitar.) Liz: I really need your help. I know something's wrong. I know what they're saying about you isn't true. But I don't know where to go from here. I really wish you could.give me some advice, point my in a direction. (Liz scans the room with her eyes and they fall upon Alex's desk. She goes over and picks up his book, The Poetry of Robert Frost book. She opens it to a page marked with tickets.) Liz: (reading the book) The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep. (Liz looks at the tickets-concert tickets to Beth Orton.) Liz: (whispers loudly) Thank You. [SCENE_BREAK] (Max and Valenti arrive at Alex's house.) Tess: Come on. Kyle: What's up? Tess: I don't know but Liz says it's urgent. (The whole gang all sits in a room in Alex's house.) Liz: (standing) Everything I'm about to say is gonna come as a shock to most of you but something happened. And You need to know what's going on. Valenti and Hanson are about to declare Alex's death a suicide. Isabel: What? Liz: No. It's not true, okay? It's not true. Maria: How could they say that? Of course it's not true. Max: Well.I.I'm not so sure. Liz: What? Max, come on. We talked about this you said. Max: I know but.I've read the file. Valenti showed. Liz: Oh Valenti showed you the file. Max: I don't want to believe it either. I saw. The evidence is pretty convincing. Michael: I can't believe it's suicide. Liz: It wasn't a suicide and I can prove it. (grabs the tickets) Five minutes ago I found these here, in Alex' room. They are concert tickets to Beth Orton. Alex bought them on the day he died probably for him and Isabel. The concert is tonight. Don't you get it? You don't buy concert tickets on the day you kill yourself. You don't make plans for the future when you are not planning on having a future. Maria: She's right, there's no way. There's no way. Tess: I don't know. You know, a couple of concert tickets? It's pretty slim evidence. Maria: You don't know what the hell you're talking about, okay? Michael: Hey. Hey. There's nothing to gain with this argument one way or another. We know Alex. We know what kind of guy he is, and we know he'd never kill himself. Maria: (whispers) Exactly. Michael: So, as far as all the people in this room are concerned, it was an accident nothin' more. Liz: It wasn't an accident. He was murdered. Kyle: Murdered? Max: Would you listen to yourself? Who could possibly want to murder Alex? Liz: I don't know yet. Maybe somebody with a grudge against him.or maybe an alien. Max: (stands up) That is not what happened here. Liz: Would you just think about it for a minute? If there is anything any of us should have learned over the last year and a half it's that nothing is ever what it seems. Isabel: (stands up) What is that? That's not evidence! That's not proof we had anything to do with this! Tess: (stands up) Keep your voices down! For gods sake! Liz: You cannot deny the fact that a key member of this conspiracy just died under very suspicious circumstances. Kyle: (stands up) I'm with Liz. There's somethin' not right about this. Max: It was a traffic accident. There's nothing otherworldly about that. Michael: What possible reason would an alien have to kill Alex? Liz: Isabel for one. We know that there's an alien named Khivar who wants to bring Isabel back to your world. Isabel: No! Liz: If Khivar discovered you and Alex. Isabel: No! No! You're just making this up! Max:(standing face-to-face with Liz) You don't know what the hell you're talking about! You don't know anything about Khivar or our world. Liz: You don't want to think that Alex was killed by an alien because that would mean you are responsible. (.tension in the room.) Max: Let's go. (Max leaves and Isabel and Tess follow. Michael gets up from Maria's side and also leaves.) Liz: I know what I know. And I am gonna to find out the truth. I owe that.to my friend. (Liz leaves.) Kyle: Well.I guess it's us versus them. [SCENE_BREAK] (Liz is at the Crashdown. It's raining outside. She sits at the table looking at pictures of Alex and remembering all the times they shared. Liz breaks down and starts sobbing at the counter. Someone knocks on the front door. Liz opens it to find Jerry.) Jerry: I thought about what you said. You know.If I remembered anything? Look. (takes something out of his pocket) I got his credit card receipt. The company kicked it back 'cause of the way he signed it. Liz: (looks at the receipt and begins to mumble) 11100100100111011001 Jerry: Does that mean anything to you? Liz: Its means: I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep.

Jim Valenti informs the kids that Alex was killed in a suspicious car accident. When the investigation into the car accident leads Valenti and Max to believe that Alex committed suicide, Liz refuses to believe it and begins her own investigation.

fd_Dawson_s_Creek_04x09

fd_Dawson_s_Creek_04x09_0

[Scene: Dawson's Bedroom. Camera Pans across as female lying in Dawson's Bed from behind, and slowly around to Dawson who is sitting on the floor in front of the bed and the are watching a video tape. The camera turns and we can see that the woman is Gretchen.] Dawson: Wow. Gretchen: "Wow. Look at the hidden treasure I've unearthed"? Or "wow. There's 87 minutes of my life I'd like back"? Dawson: I wanted to hate it. I really did, but I-- I can't. This--I mean, this is the... Heartbreaking work of a staggering genius. Gretchen: Wait a second. Are you trying to tell me that Turn Away, My Sweet is the product of a genius? Dawson: As much as it pains me, yeah. Gretchen: I don't know, Dawson. All I saw was some formula gangster movie. I mean, I'm still picking the pulp out of my teeth. Dawson: Yeah, it was pulpy, and it was by-the-numbers, but underneath all the hard-boiled sturm and drang was this great big thumping heart. I mean, this is a love story masquerading as a genre piece. Gretchen: Dawson, the girl hired the guy to kill her. How is that a love story? Dawson: Because just when she had given up on love, he came into her life. Gretchen: Yeah, and he tried to kill her. Dawson: Right, but he couldn't because he fell in love with her. Right when she'd given up and stopped looking, she stumbled into her own fairy tale. It's brilliant. Gretchen: I don't know. If you ask me, Tarentino does this stuff a lot better and in color. Dawson: Oh, ho! And now you're completely proving my point even more for me. Gretchen: Which is? Dawson: A.I. Brooks was way ahead of his time. Gretchen: I like you like this. Dawson: Dare I ask what "this" is? Gretchen: Passionate, opinionated, irritating, even. Dawson: Why--why did he stop? Gretchen: Someone could ask you the same thing. I mean, when I left for college you were like this unstoppable force of film geek energy. I mean, you were all Spielberg this and Hitchcock that, and I come back and film is like this unfinished project you sort of stuffed in your closet. Which begs the question whatever happened to the talented young filmmaker Dawson Leery? Why did he stop? And where is he now? [Opening Credits] [Scene: The Capeside Yacht Club Pier. Joey is sitting on a bench doing some school work when Ms. Valentine comes up to her.] Ms. Valentine: I'm not paying you to study for your G.E.D., Dear. Joey: Mrs. Valentine, it's 3:45, which means I'm early. 15 whole minutes to do with what I please. And why is it so hard for you to remember that I go to school with your son? Ms. Valentine: Yes, and speaking of things I'd just as soon forget, I ran into your sister Becky at the drug store. Clearly not there to pick up any contraceptives. Joey: It's Bessie. Ms. Valentine: Oh, well, that's important, isn't it, dear? [A gentleman comes walking up to them.] Walter! Walter: Mrs. Valentine. Ms. Valentine: What can I do for you, Walter? Walter: Well, I just wanted to make sure everything was in order for Saturday night. Ms. Valentine: Oh, Walter, we are in tip-top shape. We are fully stocked and fully staffed, and I was just about to tell little Joey potter here that her Saturday night off was now a Saturday night back on. Joey: But Ms. Valentine: Joey. In addition to being one of the club's handsomest members, Mr. Kubelik here is also the alumni rep for Worthington, and Saturday night he's hosting a networking party for promising new applicants, and I'm going to need you to help wait on them. Joey: I can't. Ms. Valentine: So you're quitting, then? Joey: No Ms. Valentine: Ooh! You've gone insane. Joey: Look, Mrs. Valentine, I will be there. Ms. Valentine: Yes. You will. Now, Walter, where were we? Joey: I don't think you're understanding me, Mrs. Valentine. I'll be there... At the party... As a guest. Ms. Valentine: [Laughing] Walter: Wait a minute. You're Josephine Potter? Hey, it's a pleasure to meet you. Your essay was outstanding. Mrs. Valentine, this young lady is one of our most promising applicants. Ms. Valentine: Oh. Walter: I would appreciate it if you gave her the evening off and sat her at my table. Ms. Valentine: Well, of course, Walter, anything you want. I just--I just don't know who we're going to get to replace her. Joey's such a shining member of our wait staff. Joey: Well, there's always Drue. Ms. Valentine: Yes. Yes. [Scene: The Leery Fish House. Dawson is sitting at the bar working on his laptop computer, while Mitch and Gale decorate a Christmas Tree and Gretchen is working in the Restaurant table area.] Dawson: Ok, guys. Historic moment. I am finishing my very last essay from my very last college application... USC film school. And I...Am... Done. Gale: Congratulations, honey. Mitch: Yeah, we're proud of you. Gale: And now you're free to relieve your pregnant mother of her light-stringing duty. Gretchen: Wow. Could it be? Could this mean it's time for the annual Leery holiday party? [There is a big pause and everyone looks at each other.] Oh, did I just say something wildly inappropriate? Gale: Oh, no, not at all, honey. It's just, um... Mitch: Well, we haven't done that in a while. Dawson: Let me decode. We haven't had a Christmas party past couple of years because Mr. And Mrs. Leery have been busy riding a roller coaster otherwise known as their relationship. Gretchen: Oh. Well, that's too bad. I loved those parties. Gale: It all just seems a bit overwhelming at the moment. Mitch: What, with the baby Gale: and the restaurant. Gretchen: Ok, let's make a deal. You have the party, and I take care of everything. I will cater. I'll decorate. I'll even call all the guests. Oh, come on. Please? You got to let me. Gale: Well, sweetheart, if it means that much to you. Gretchen: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks. [Mitch and Gale leave, and Gretchen grabs Dawson's arm.] Gretchen: We have got a lot of work to do. Dawson: What was the part you said about you doing everything? [Scene: Jen's Bedroom. Jen is sitting on her bed doing some writing, when Grams brings Jack in to see her.] Jen: Will. Jack: Grace. Grams: Can I get you anything, Jack? Jack: No. No, thanks, Grams. [Grams leaves without asking Jen.] Jen: Nothing for me. I'm fine. Thank you. Jack: [Laughing] What was that all about? Jen: That, my dear, is the external manifestation of Grams' extreme disappointment in me for that whole ecstasy incident. Jack: She's still stuck on that, huh? Jen: Yeah. Not a word in weeks. Which makes the house that Gramps built a bit chilly at the moment. Jack: Hmm. Well, she will get over it. She always does. Right. Jen: Whatever. Do you want to do something? Do you want to go see a movie? Jack: Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'd love to. Perfect way to celebrate, actually. Jen: Celebrate? Jack: I finished my applications today. Just handed 'em to ms. Watson... And the essay part almost killed me. If I ever in my life have to write about where I see myself in 10 years, I'm gonna have to say, "dead," because the prospect of writing about it will have driven me to suicide. Jen: Good. That's great. Awesome. Congrats. Ok, so what are we gonna see? Um...You know what? I want to see that gay one with Dean Cain. All the reviewers are calling it St. Homo's Fire. Sounds awesome. What do you say? Jack: Yeah. Yeah. It sounds good. Let me ask you something. Have you finished your applications yet? Jen: Yeah. Pretty much. Why? Jack: How much is pretty much? Jen: Um, I just have the essay part left. Jack: Well, I talked to Ms. Watson, and she mentioned something about not getting anything from you, and I said, well, come on. Jen Lindley, that's crazy. She's all about higher learning. Jen: Totally. Jack: Ok. So where did you apply? Jen: Bunch of places. Jack: Come on, Jen. What's with all the vague answers here? Jen: Hey, Jack, what's with all the annoying questions? Jack: You know there's a deadline? And it's quickly approaching, right? Jen: Don't worry about it. I'm totally fine. You know what? I have to say I'm kind of not in a movie mood after all. Can we catch up later? Jack: Yeah. Sure. Jen: I'll give you a call. Jen: Ok. Jen: Bye. Jack: Good-bye. [Scene: Grams' Kitchen. Grams is making some cookies, when Jack walks into the kitchen with a worried look on his face.] Jack: Grams. Think you could do me a favor? Grams: Anything, of course. Cookie? Jack: Yeah. Thanks. Extra sprinkles. You think you could talk to Jen? Grams: Anything but that, perhaps. Jack: Look, I know the two of you aren't on the best of terms at the moment, but I'm worried about her. I have this feeling that she hasn't filled out any of her college applications and she's not talking about it, so I, you know, I thought maybe you could talk to her. Grams: No, no, Jack. Jennifer is a big girl. God knows, I tried long and hard to aid her in making the right decisions, but she neither wants nor appreciates my help. So the only thing left for me to do is to let her make her own mistakes. If the girl chooses to drag her heels about college, so be it. She is on her own. [Scene: The Leery Fish House. Mr. Brooks is at a small table by the window eating his dinner, when Dawson comes up and takes the seat across from him.] Dawson: So, um, have you seen any good movies lately? Mr. Brooks: I saw a picture called Star Wars here a while back. I, uh, I didn't get it. Dawson: Star Wars came out in 1977. Mr. Brooks: Like I said, it was a while back. Dawson: I saw a great film last night. Mr. Brooks: Bully for you. Dawson: It was this incredible fusion of film noir, black comedy, and a love story. It was--what was the name of it? Um... Turn Away, My Sweet. Mr. Brooks: Think you're pretty clever, don't you? Dawson: How am I supposed to deal with this? I mean, how am I supposed to deal with the fact that the big grumpy old man who basically forced me into indentured servitude turns out to be a cross between Sam Fuller and Cameron Crowe? Mr. Brooks: Who's Cameron Crowe? Dawson: Uh, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Say Anything, Jerry Maguire. Mr. Brooks: Never heard of him. Fuller--hmm, god rest his soul. He did some good pictures. Dawson: And so did you, Mr. Brooks. I've seen everything I could get my hands on. Your films are-- they're amazing. You know, you're like this true American primitive. I have so much respect for what you've done. Mr. Brooks: First of all, Mr. Leery, they're not films. They're pictures. Second of all, they're not amazing. They're hack work, and third of all, I'm uncomfortable with this new found respect you have for me. Dawson: You can play the curmudgeon all you want, A.I. Brooks, but you can't fool me. Mr. Brooks: Well, that's a load off. Dawson: I saw those movies, and the man responsible for them obviously cares a great deal about things that matter-- things like love and death and morality and honor. Mr. Brooks: The man responsible for them cares a great deal about eating his Chilean sea bass in peace. Dawson: Ok. I just--I-- I wanted to tell you that your mov--your pictures really had an impact on me. I just... Well, I thought you might like to hear that. Mr. Brooks: Thank you very much for the kind words, Mr. Leery, now I Dawson: Can I--can I just ask you about the chemistry between your 2 leads in Turn Away, My Sweet? It was incredible. It was like it practically jumped off the screen. Mr. Brooks: Listen, I am old, and I reserve the right to eat my dinner in peace. So kindly remove yourself from my general vicinity. Dawson: Ok. [Scene: A Clothing Store. Joey is trying on a dress and comes out of the dressing room and walks over to where Gretchen is waiting for her.] Joey: Well? Gretchen: The girl can't help it. She's beautiful. Joey: Do you think it's too much? Gretchen: Only if Pacey wears his camouflage pants. Joey: Which isn't exactly outside the realm of possibility. You know, I do feel kind of bad dragging him to this thing. Gretchen: Oh, you're not dragging him to anything. You need his support. I'm sure he gets that. Joey: Yeah, well-- I just--I don't want him to feel out of place. Gretchen: Joey, my brother's nuts about you. I think he plans to make a career out of being in close proximity to you. Just don't let him do that nervous joke-telling thing that he does. You are, however, gonna miss a great party at Dawson's house. Joey: Dawson Leery's having a party? Gretchen: Not so much. I talked Mitch and gale into letting me organize their holiday party. Joey: Really? I love those. I mean, they've been a part of my life since I was, like, 5, I think. And they always put me in just the right mood for the holidays. Which is kind of weird considering Dawson and I would pretty much just hide up in his bedroom and watch old movies, but... Gretchen: Which has it's own distinct charms. I mean, Dawson is one of those rare guys who can somehow make popcorn and a rented video seem like an event. Joey: I know what you mean. Gretchen: You're gonna do great, Joey. Joey: Huh? Gretchen: Saturday night, you're gonna do great. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: The Advisor's Office. Dawson and the Advisor are there going over Dawson's Applications to his colleges.] Advisor: Good job, Dawson, getting all of your applications in. I just had a couple of questions. Dawson: Ok. Advisor: Why do you think you want to be a filmmaker? Dawson: Uh, well, doesn't my essay pretty much cover it? Advisor: You see, that's the problem, Dawson. It doesn't. You spend 5 pages rather eloquently skirting the essay question... Why do you want to be a filmmaker? Dawson: Well, it's a pretty difficult question to answer. Advisor: And USC's a difficult school to get into. There are thousands of students, just like yourself, hoping against hope at a chance to study at one of the best film schools in the country. So I'm thinking... We might want to shoot for greatness here. In other words... Dawson, do better. [Scene: The Capeside High Hallway. Joey and Pacey are walking down the stairs in the hallway talking to each other about Saturday.] Pacey: Do we have to? Joey: Yes, Pacey, we have to. Pacey: Well, have you thought about hiring an escort? 'Cause from what I'm told you can't take me anywhere. Joey: I called around, but they're all out of socially-presentable man-meat. Pacey: Well, what if I just broke up with you, hmm? I mean, what would you do then? Joey: Look, do what you have to do. You're still coming with me. Pacey: Fascist. Joey: Scaredy-cat. Pacey: Are we at least gonna have a good time? Joey: My guess is no. Pacey: So why can't we just say "nay" to the whole idea of hanging out with the prep school contingent, and go over to Mitch and Gale's party? Joey: Because, Pacey, that would severely diminish my chances for getting into college. Pacey: Well, you put it that way Joey: Pace? Pacey: Yes. Joey: You know how important this party is to me. Pacey: Yes, I know. Joey: And being in a relationship means that sometimes you do have to do things that you don't particularly enjoy for that other person. Pacey: Yeah. Joey: You know, for me that would be Sunday dinners with your parents. Pacey: Oh, hold on. Do you think that I enjoy those dinners for one second? For the record, we could stop those at any time. Joey: Look, I know that you're still trying to get out of this party. Pacey: Yeah, I really am. Is it working? Joey: It's like watching a train wreck. [Scene: Grams' Kitchen. Grams is going through some present in a package sitting on the table, when Jen walks in and goes over to the fridge.] Grams: These are for you, Jennifer. From your mother and father. Jen: Whew, that time of year already. I'll tell you what. That is a sweater... From mom, from Barney's. But it was hand-picked by the maid. Yeah, jewelry. Jewelry, probably from dad, and I'll bet that it was thrown back in his face by a slutty secretary who did not appreciate the fact that she was actually being paid for services rendered. Remind me to send them a thank you card. Grams: Why don't you just take them upstairs and open them in your room. Jen: You know, I've got a better idea. Why don't you take 'em to goodwill. Donate 'em to somebody who cares. Grams: That is not an appropriate attitude for the holidays, child. Jen: Yeah, well, merry f-in' Christmas. Grams: Jennifer! You know, you are quite possibly one of the most spoiled, self-involved brats I have ever had the displeasure of dealing with. Jen: You know what? You're absolutely right. Why don't I just go to my room. Grams: While you're there, why don't you take the time to fill out a couple of your college applications? Jen: Right. Of course. Anything to get me out of the house quicker, huh? Grams: That is not what I meant. Jen: So then were you trying to light a fire under me? I'm sorry, but you haven't spoken so much as a complete sentence to me ever since I disappointed you. So you don't get to instill me with motivation. You don't get to discuss my future. You lost that right when you wrote me off. [She throws the presents into the fridge and closes the door, before storming off to her room.] [Scene: The Leery House. Gretchen is decorating the house while Dawson talks about his afternoon at the advisor's office.] Gretchen: Dawson, I don't know why you're having such a problem with this. I mean, just tell them the truth. Dawson: The truth being what, exactly? Gretchen: That filmmaking will provide you with everything that a young man could ever want or need... A 3-picture deal with Columbia and a spot just high enough on the premiere power list to bag yourself one of the girls of the WB. Dawson: Moments like this it becomes glaringly obvious just how related to Pacey you really are. Gretchen: Come on. Take a break. Help me hang the mistletoe. Dawson: Ok. Gretchen: Why don't you ask Mr. Brooks? Dawson: Ask Mr. Brooks for what? Gretchen: For help on your essay. Dawson: I don't think so. I told the guy I like his movies, he practically took my head off. Gretchen: Oh, Dawson, say what you want about his mercurial moods, but the guy is a resource. Take advantage of him. He's probably one of the only guys you've ever met who's a real-life filmmaker. And maybe a conversation with him will clear your head. You know, get rid of the cobwebs. Dawson: Is there a point to what we're doing? Gretchen: Who cares? It's tradition. And you don't monkey with tradition. What? Dawson: I never had you pegged as a traditionalist. It's cute. [Scene: The docks outside of Grams' House. Jack and Grams are walking on them talking to each other about Jen.] Grams: Actually, you were right. She hasn't filled out one application, and she's not going to. Jack: Well, maybe we can talk to her. You know, gang up on her. Grams: Oh, that won't work. I know my granddaughter. She's far too stubborn to stand for anything even resembling an intervention. Jack: Yeah, I know. Well, any better ideas? Grams: Actually, I do, and I'm going to need your help. [Scene: Mr. Brooks' House. Dawson comes up to the Door and knocks on it but there is no answer, but the door is open, so he goes inside.] Dawson: Mr. Brooks? [Knocking] Mr. Brooks! [Mr. Brooks is at the table diligently working on something, when Dawson comes up to him.] Mr. Brooks: My god, kid! You scared the crap outta me. Dawson: Well, I'm sorry. I knocked. You didn't hear me. Mr. Brooks: Why didn't you just leave? Dawson: Uh, 'cause I wanted to talk to you. Mr. Brooks: If you came to ask if I slept with Marilyn Monroe, you can crawl back from whence you came. Dawson: No, it's nothing like that. I-- did you? Huh. Mr. Brooks: What is it I can do for you, Mr. Leery? Dawson: I need some advice. Mr. Brooks: Have you tried the teen help line? [Clears throat] Well, this is gonna clearly take longer than I'd hoped, but I supposed I could give you a-- would you like a soda pop, Mr. Leery? Dawson: No, thank you. I'm fine. Mr. Brooks: All right. I'm ready to dispense with advice. Sit down. Dawson: Um... Well, I-- I've got to write this essay-- an application for USC film school, and... It's killing me. I can't... For the life of me answer the question, "Why do you want to be a filmmaker?" Mr. Brooks: Well, why do you, kid? Dawson: Well, you see, that's the problem. I'm having trouble putting it into words. Mr. Brooks: If you can't do better than that, you might as well make out an application to McDonald's. Dawson: Mr. Brooks, I need to know why you stopped making movies. Mr. Brooks: What does that have to do with anything? Dawson: 'Cause I've stopped, too. Mr. Brooks: Well, that's a tragic loss for the arts. Dawson: Mr. Brooks, I'm-- I'm serious. You know, I was going full-steam ahead. Nothing was gonna stop me, and then-- you know. Life got in the way. I-- I--I had what you might call a crisis of faith. Mr. Brooks: Crisis of faith? But, gee, you're kind of young for that, aren't you what are you, 15? Dawson: 17. Mr. Brooks: 17 and already had a crisis of faith. Dawson: You know, I thought we were beyond this. I thought we had moved on, but I guess not. I guess whatever happened to you made you the kind of person who would tear into a 17-year-old kid whose only mistake was to equate talent with wisdom and kindness, so... [Dawson gets up and leaves, and Mr. Brooks looks after him knowing he has gone too far this time.] [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: The Capeside Yacht Club. Pacey and Joey enter as Pacey continues to try and get out of this.] Pacey: You ok? Joey: Sure. Pacey: You know, we could always just turn around. Which would, of course, be incredibly cowardly. Joey: Yet sounds incredibly appealing. You're grinning like an idiot. Pacey: Yeah, I know. I can't help it. Joey: Why? Pacey: Because... I'm the only guy at this party who gets to walk in with Audrey Heyburn on his arm. [Scene: The Leery House. Jen comes into the front door and is greeted by Mitch and Gale. Gretchen is walking all through the background looking for someone.] Gale: Hi. Jen: Hi--whoa! Whoa! Look at you. Gale: Can you believe this? Jen: No. You look beautiful. You guys look so happy. [Scene: Dawson's Bedroom. Dawson is sitting at his desk, when Gretchen come knocking on the door.] Dawson: Come in. Gretchen: Thought I might find you in here. Dawson: Hey. How's the party? Gretchen: Somewhat lacking in cute high school boys at the moment. Come try my eggnog. Dawson: Uh, I'll be down in a minute. Gretchen: Ok. You ok? Dawson: Yeah. Yeah, I'm just-- just thinking. Gretchen: About... Dawson: About what you said to me the other night. What did happen to me. Here I am. I'm applying to one of the best film schools in the country, and I'm not even sure I want to go. I'm not sure I deserve to go. Gretchen: You know what you sound like, Dawson? Dawson: What? Gretchen: You sound like a guy who just broke up with this girl. And he's happy he broke up with her-- I mean, at least he says he is-- and he goes on and on about, you know, how much better off he is without her, but the thing is he can't stop talking about her. Everything comes back to this girl. You loved this girl, Dawson. Dawson: Now that, oddly enough, has not kept her from breaking my heart time and time again. Gretchen: Yeah, but that doesn't matter. I mean, you're trying so hard to answer this question, and--and you're thinking that there's some right answer, and there's not. You know, maybe if you just admit that you love movies, the geek will resurface, and you'll be able to connect with that part of you that won't tolerate cynicism under any circumstances, and people will respond to that. They will respond to that great big thumping heart of yours. Trust me. Now come try my eggnog. [Scene: The Capeside Yacht Club. Joey is talking to one of the other girls at the party and she is very uncomfortable.] Girl: And I will not lose any more sleep over the fact that my class rank was third. I mean, it's like I could toss and turn all night wondering what I did wrong, you know? Why I wasn't good enough for first, or even second, but third? I mean, what is that? So what did you place? Joey: Fourth. Girl: Oh. Oh, that's good. Yeah, fourth is good. [She looks over and sees Drue serving drinks and pours out the rest of hers into a plant.] Oh, cute boy. Yeah, I do believe I need a refill. Joey: Let me get that for you. Girl: Nonsense. Excuse me! Excuse me, waiter boy? Drue: Yes, annoying girl? Girl: Yeah, I'll have a club soda with a lime in it, please. Drue: Anything for you, Joey? Joey: Fine, thanks. Drue: There you are, potter. I never got the chance to thank you for ruining my night. Joey: Well, I think we could probably talk about it another time. Drue: Sure. Sure. How about midnight? Just in time to watch you turn back into a pumpkin. Did you know that Joey here is one of our finest waitresses? I think it's sweet how you've taken her under your wing. Girl: Oh, uh, you know what? I think I see this girl that I know from boarding school. So I'm gonna go over and say hi. Excuse me. [The girl leaves, and Drue looks at Joey with a shrug look.] Drue: How bad do you want to do me bodily harm right now? Oh! Later. Too many witnesses. [Scene: The Leery House. The Advisor is attending it and looks out the window to see Jen standing out on the porch, and goes out to talk with her.] Advisor: You did it! Jen: No, I didn't. Advisor: Yes, you did, and your essays were wonderful. Jen: They were? Advisor: Yes, they were. You should be very proud of yourself. Jen: Mmm. What-- what did I do, exactly? Advisor: You got your apps in on time. Higher education is yours, Jen Lindley. Good job. Jen: Yeah, um... [Scene: The Capeside Yacht Club. Joey and Pacey are sitting at the table with Walter and Walter tries to strike up a conversation. Drue is serving the table.] Walter: You've certainly been quiet tonight, miss potter. Joey: Just soaking it all in, I guess. Walter: Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself? Joey: Um... There's really not much to tell. I'm pretty much your average teenage girl. Walter: Having reviewed your application, I hardly think so. I seem to remember a certain fondness for art. Have you been to the new Guggenheim? Joey: No, but I have always wanted to go to New York. Drue: It's actually in Bilbao, hon. Spain? Walter: Which isn't important. What is, however, is the building itself. It's really the most amazing feat of construction. It's an extraordinary combination of intersecting shapes. It's an architectural epiphany. Pacey: No, I don't know. You ask me, the thing just looks like a big artichoke. [Everyone looks at him] No, I'm serious. It does. Walter: Oh, so you've been? Pacey: Well, no, but my brother-- he's this big architecture buff, and he's into those coffee table art books. You know, so I've seen all the pictures, and I'm here to tell you, it looks like a big artichoke. Walter: [Laughs] Big artichoke. You're right. It does look like an artichoke. [Scene: Outside the Leery House. Dawson is standing at a small bench area in the middle of the yard, when Mr. Brooks comes up from the dark.] Mr. Brooks: Mr. Leery. Dawson: Mr. Brooks. Mr. Brooks: Ah, quite a shindig you got for yourself, here, huh? Dawson: Uh, yeah. Do you want to come in? Mr. Brooks: Oh, no. I'm not much for crowds. Dawson: Why is that not a surprise? Is there something I can do for you? Mr. Brooks: Ah. [He hands Dawson a book.] Dawson: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang? Mr. Brooks: That's Pauline Kael. The best film critic ever was. She says it a lot better than I ever could. Dawson: Says what? Mr. Brooks: Why. Why when I was a kid I lived for Saturday afternoons at the Rialto. Why I left this town the day I graduated high school, and hopped on a train headed for the Los Angeles. Why I almost cried the first time I stepped on a studio lot. And why I did the first time I yelled, "action!" Sorry I snapped at you, kid. You just happened to scratch an open wound that still hasn't healed after all these years. Dawson: Which is none of my business. Mr. Brooks: 1956, Louis B. Mayer calls me into his office. He's got this brilliant idea. Wants to cast my best friend and my girlfriend in my next picture. Turn Away, My Sweet. Well, I got to agree with him. It's great casting. Till we started shooting and I am a madman. Crazed beyond belief. I don't even notice what's happening right in front of my eyes. My best friend falling in love with my girlfriend. By the time I realize it, it's too late. She's gone, and I still have half a picture to direct. Do you have any idea what that's like? Dawson: I would imagine it would be terrible. Mr. Brooks: Yeah, made me hate directing, everybody, and everything. The day we wrapped I caught another train... For Capeside, Mass. I never looked back. Started a new life. Started a better life. [Mr. Brooks turns and starts to walk away.] Dawson: Mr. Brooks? Mr. Brooks! Mr. Brooks: What?! Dawson: Would you like to come inside? Mr. Brooks: Why do you want to make pictures? Dawson: [Sighs] How can you explain the things you love? You can't. You just do. Mr. Brooks: God help you, kid. [Scene: The Capeside Yacht Club. Pacey is telling a joke to Walter and we can see how uncomfortable Joey is about it.] Pacey: So then the rabbi says, "rectum? I damn near killed 'em!" Walter: [Laughing] Pacey: Good one, right? Walter: It's very good. Joey, I had no idea your boyfriend was such a charmer. Joey: Who knew? Walter: Worthington could use a young man like you, Pacey. Why haven't you applied? Joey: Yeah, Pace, why haven't you? Pacey: Well, I-- to be perfectly honest, uh, both of my parents are real big lefties, so for me it's Yale or nothing. Walter: Well, that certainly is our loss. Joey: Hey, Pace, can I talk to you for a second? Pacey: Yeah, sure. Joey: Outside. Excuse us. [Scene: Outside the Yacht Club. Joey is pulling Pacey behind her as they walk out onto the piers.] Joey: Pacey, I can't believe you just did that. Pacey: Just did what? Joey: You lied! Pacey: Hold on a second Joey: And after that whole pseudo-motivational diatribe, you flat-out lied. Pacey: Joey, can I have the floor for just a second? Joey: Pacey, why are you trying so hard to impress these people? Pacey: Are you done yet? Joey: Look, I don't even know who you are right now. Pacey: All I'm try [Walter comes out and disturbs them.] Walter: Excuse me, Pacey. Excuse me. I would love for you to meet the dean. Do you mind, Joey? Joey: Course not. Pacey: Sure. Walter: [Chuckles] He's a great guy. An old friend. I'd love for him to hear the, uh... Pacey: 2 rabbis. Walter: Yeah. [Laughs] I thought that was a pretty good one. [Walter and Pacey go back inside and Joey just leans back against the rail and tears begin to form in her eyes.] [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: The Leery House Party. Jack is standing in the doorway when Jen comes storming up to him. Grams is standing to his side.] Jen: Jack. Jack: Hey. Jen: Did I not make myself perfectly clear to you? Jack: What? Jen: Did I or did I not ask you to just mind your own business? Jack: Ah, Jen Jen: No, Jack, you didn't have any right to do what you did. Grams: He had every right. As did I. Jen: Listen, I'm not looking to be saved here, all right? I don't want to go to college. Could you please just leave me alone? Grams: You do want to go to college, Jennifer. I know that for a fact, and I know why you haven't applied. Jen: No, you don't. Grams: Yes, I do. You haven't applied because you refused to ask your parents for help. Jen: I--I can't. I can't keep putting myself out there over and over again. I won't ask them. I won't do it. Grams: And I won't let you. Now, look, I'm sorry that you haven't felt like you could talk to me lately, but you must understand something, Jennifer. You must understand that no matter how angry or upset or disappointed I may be in you, I will always be there for you. You are going to college, young lady. If I have to beg, borrow, or steal, I will get you there. You are the most important thing in my life, Jennifer, and I love you. Jack: I--I kinda love you, too. Jen: Aw... [The 3 of them hug.] [Scene: The Capeside Yacht Club Pier. Joey is leaning against the rail of the pier crying, when Walter comes up to her. Seeing him she dries her eyes to hide the fact that she was crying.] Walter: Hi, Joey. Joey: Uh, hi, Mr. Kubelik, um... I'm sorry, I... I think I need to apologize. Walter: Really? Whatever for? Joey: Well, I think I blew it tonight. And it's just, um, this is kind of a whole new world for me, and I, um, I don't really know what to do or what to say, and I know that I don't fit in very well Walter: Joey, you didn't blow anything. Your academic record stands on its own. You're a stunningly bright young lady. No one is grading you on your social skills. Be that as it may, you couldn't ask for a better character witness than that boyfriend of yours. Seriously. He just talked the Dean's ear off, all about you. How you've changed him, how you've helped him. How he couldn't imagine a better life than one with you by his side. What a rare gift, to have someone say such things about you. [Scene: The Leery House Party. Jen and Jack are sitting on the stairs talking to one another.] Jen: So, where did I apply? Jack: Uh, you applied to Bard, Brown, Columbia, Emerson, and Sarah Lawrence. Oh, and B.U. Jen: Nice. Jack: You know, I had to ransack your computer. With a little pruning, that, um, that paper you did on women's suffrage movement made a really good essay. Jen: Really? Cool. Jack: Yeah. Yeah, and, you know, I stumbled across your journal. Jen: Oh. Jack: I didn't realize you still had those kind of dreams about me. Jen: More nog? Jack: Sure. Love some more nog. [Scene: The Leery House Party, The Piano in the Family room. Mr. Brooks is sitting at the piano, when Grams walks up to it and he waves to her.] Grams: You again. Mr. Brooks: Have we met? Grams: You know very well we've met. I had the distinct displeasure of watching you yelling and screaming at poor Dawson leery over nothing but some silly boat of yours. Mr. Brooks: It was quite the little tantrum. If I remember correctly, you put me in my place. I admire that in a woman. Grams: Oh, you fancy yourself quite charming, don't you? Mr. Brooks: On my better days, yes, I do. Grams: On your better days, I'd say your mind is clearly playing tricks on you. Which is understandable. You are getting on in years. Mr. Brooks: I did yell at the kid, but that's before I got to know him, before I realized he's not an idiot, just a nuisance. Grams: Well, perhaps in the future you will take the time to get to know a person before you dismiss them. Mr. Brooks: Perhaps you might do the same. Grams: Perhaps. [Grams leaves with a slight smile on her face, and Dawson who witnessed all of this walks up to join him.] Mr. Brooks: What? Dawson: You were flirting with grams. Mr. Brooks: Heh heh. Nonsense. Dawson: I don't know, that looked like flirting to me. Mr. Brooks: You'd know if I was flirting. Matter of fact, you could pull up a seat and take a lesson or two. Heh heh. Dawson: You know, I shouldn't have been surprised at all that you were a big movie director. What else could have satisfied that massive ego? Mr. Brooks: Listen, just because we shared a moment out there doesn't mean we have to get all chummy. Dawson: Point taken. Ahem. But I wanted you to know something. Mr. Brooks: What? Dawson: I think I'm ready to make a movie again. Mr. Brooks: Oh, "crisis of faith" over? I'll alert the media. Dawson: All right, all right, laugh all you want. Mr. Brooks: I intend to. Ahem. What is this, um, picture of yours gonna be about? Dawson: You. Mr. Brooks: Excuse me? Say that again into my good ear, would you? Dawson: My mov--my picture is going to be about you. Your life story. We'll talk later. Enjoy the party. [Scene: The Capeside Yacht club. Pacey is standing by the fireplace when Joey comes walking up to him and gives him a big hug.] Pacey: Apology accepted. Joey: I didn't apologize, Pace. Pacey: Well, no, but you were going to. Joey: I was? Pacey: Yeah, you were going to apologize for bitching me out earlier. Joey: And what about you? You're the one who lied. Pacey: Did it ever occur to you that maybe I was doing that all for you? Joey: And how, exactly, do I benefit from your distortion of the truth? Pacey: Well, maybe I just wanted these people to see you through my eyes just for one night. To see this girl, this woman, who has more class and intelligence and beauty and grace than anyone else who's walking the face of the planet. And maybe things like this just come tumbling out of my mouth because I happen to be head over heels in love with you, but the really scary thing is--is... I think that they're true. Joey: Sorry, Pace. I just wanted to impress these people so bad, you know, to fit in, and I completely froze. Pacey: Hey, that doesn't matter. Joey: Yes, it does! I've never wanted anything so bad in my whole life. And you--you just fit right in better than I ever will. Pacey: Because there's nothing at stake for me here, Jo. I have nothing to prove to these people. And Jo, this world, it is opening its doors to you. And when you step through, you are going to be such an amazing part of all of this. And wherever you choose to go, you're doing them the favor, not the other way around. Joey: You know, your mom should get a medal. Pacey: Mom? Really, why's that? Joey: Because she raised a perfect boy. And maybe things like that just tumble out of my mouth because I happen to be head over heels in love with you, but the scary thing is, I think it's true. [They Kiss] Pacey: Mm. Ok. What do you say you and I take our little mutual admiration society on the road? Please, can we go someplace we both fit in? Yeah? Joey: Yeah. Pacey: Thanks. [Scene: The Leery House Party. Dawson is standin in an archway, leaning against the side, watching his parents dance with one another, and smiling to himself, when Gretchen comes up to join him.] Dawson: Hey. You did a very good thing. Years from now, I'm not gonna remember what the hell I got for Christmas, but I will remember what it felt like to see my parents so happy. So thank you. Gretchen: Hey... Total selfishness on my part. This just takes me back to a time before everything got so complicated, you know? [Mr. Brooks comes walking through the archway and hits the Mistletoe above their head with his hand.] Mr. Brooks: Why don't you quit flirting and kiss her? Dawson: Excuse-- you gotta be kidding me. I had nothing to do with this. Gretchen: Ok, well, I guess we'd better get it over with, then. Dawson: You think? Gretchen: It's tradition, Dawson, and you don't monkey with tradition. Dawson: Oh, that's right. [They kiss one another once, then a second and third time, and not a normal "Mistletoe Kiss" either. This is the moment that Pacey and Joey enter the party and both of them see Dawson and Gretchen kissing and are both shocked.]

Dawson asks Mr. Brooks' advice on becoming a director. Mr. Brooks gives Dawson some insight on his past and why he is the way he is. Joey takes Pacey to a dinner hosted by an exclusive college. She is a nervous wreck but Pacey saves the day. The Leery's host a Christmas party which provokes well hidden feelings between Dawson and Gretchen to surface. Joey and Pacey arrive late at the party and witness a kiss between their friends. Jen hasn't filled out a single college application, and Jack is concerned. Grams, who hasn't spoken to Jen since the incident with Andie, has an idea to get Jen's college applications in on time and enlists Jack to help with her plan.

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_04x34

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_04x34_0

THE FACELESS ONES by DAVID ELLIS and MALCOLM HULKE first transmitted - 29th April 1967 running time - 24mins 28secs [SCENE_BREAK] 1. CHAMELEON PLANE'S FLIGHT DECK (ANN DAVIDSON comes back onto the flight deck.) ANN DAVIDSON: All set. BLADE: Good. (BLADE switches on a monitor above his head, and CROSSLAND, still clamped helplessly in his chair, looks down the long central aisle, with row upon row of young passengers on either side. They sit docilely in their places, seat-belts fastened, waiting for take-off. BLADE turns to CROSSLAND and smiles.) BLADE: You wanted to know the secret of Chameleon Tours. Well Inspector, see for yourself! (BLADE turns a control in the control panel in front of him. CROSSLAND stares at the monitor in unbelieving horror. Suddenly the rows and rows of seats are empty. The entire plane-load of passengers has disappeared!.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2. CHAMELEON TOURS' HANGAR (JAMIE kneels down by the DOCTOR, desperately trying to revive him while the episode titles are shown. He has just decided to give up and carry the DOCTOR somewhere he can get help when he becomes aware of someone standing over them. It is SPENCER, a ray gun in his hand.) JAMIE: Doctor! SPENCER: He's dead! You're coming with me. (JAMIE shakes his head.) JAMIE: I'll not leave him. SPENCER: You have five seconds to change your mind. JAMIE: You'll have to kill me then. SPENCER: I said five seconds. Five, four, three... (JAMIE sees SAMANTHA coming through the door of the hangar. She takes in the situation instantly, swings round to a pile of oil-cans by the door and gives the bottom of the cans a mighty kick. The pile of cans falls with a tremendous clatter...) JAMIE: SAMANTHA! (...and instinctively SPENCER swings round - and JAMIE jumps him. With a wild, flailing blow he knocks the gun from SPENCER's hand. SPENCER dives for it, but SAMANTHA comes sprinting up and kicks it away. JAMIE and SPENCER grapple furiously and soon, for all JAMIE's youth and strength, he begins getting the worst of it. SPENCER has a strength that seems more than human. SAMANTHA joins in the struggle, leaping on SPENCER's back from behind and winding her arms around his throat in a determined attempt to throttle him. With a desperate effort, SPENCER manages to free one hand from JAMIE's grip and plunge it into his pocket. The hand comes out with a silvery pencil-like device and too late JAMIE realises what it is. SPENCER aims and fires and an icy chill blasts all consciousness from JAMIE's body. He slumps to the ground, and seconds later SAMANTHA lies beside him. Panting with effort, SPENCER gazes down at his three defeated enemies. He goes to the corner of the hangar, retrieves his ray gun, raises it and then lowers it again. He thinks for a moment, and then puts the three bodies in a row, first JAMIE, then SAMANTHA, and then the DOCTOR. He goes to a storage cupboard and produces a black metal case with a circular base and a projecting lens. It is an advanced automatic light-cannon. SPENCER makes careful adjustments to the control panel on the back, sets up the device and switches it on. A thin light beam shoots from the lens. It is a few inches from the floor and a few feet to JAMIE's left. Spencer touches the controls again and the beam begins swinging round, very, very slowly, edging closer and closer towards JAMIE. SPENCER turns and hurries from the hangar, laughing at the fate that awaits them.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3. CHAMELEON PLANE'S FLIGHT DECK (Still in a state of shock, CROSSLAND watches uncomprehendingly as ANN DAVIDSON takes a large segmented container from a locker and goes out into the main cabin.) CROSSLAND: I suppose there's no use my asking where this plane's going to? (BLADE, at the controls, glances briefly over his shoulder.) BLADE: You will know soon enough. (As if reminded of something he flicks a control and speaks into a microphone.) BLADE: This is Plane Number Three to Base. Inform the Director that I have an original for him as ordered. I am delivering him now, and will return immediately to Gatwick Airport. [SCENE_BREAK] 4. CHAMELEON TOURS' HANGAR (The three victims are recovering consciousness, but not their power of movement.) SAMANTHA: (Croaking.) Jamie? Are you all right? JAMIE: Aye. Th... They've not harmed you, have they? SAMANTHA: No - but I can't move. (JAMIE tries to sit up and finds that his limbs are held fast in icy paralysis.) JAMIE: Doctor? SAMANTHA: Are you all right? DOCTOR: What's happening? I... I can't move. What's that? (SAMANTHA's head is pointing in the right direction.) SAMANTHA: I... I don't know. It's a beam of light. JAMIE: Aye. Doctor, it... it's moving towards us! (As they watch, the edge of the beam reaches a little pile of wood shavings, which immediately bursts into flame.) DOCTOR: That's just a small fore-taste of what'll happen to us if we don't move and quickly. JAMIE: But I can't move, Doctor! SAMANTHA: Neither can I. (SAMANTHA struggles frantically.) SAMANTHA: Wait a minute. I can move one arm. (She manages to reach out and touch her handbag, which is still been twined about her wrist from when she fell.) SAMANTHA: But I can't move away! [SCENE_BREAK] 5. MEDICAL CENTRE (JENKINS, the immigration officer on Desk Five, has received a sudden, mysterious summons to report to the First Aid Station. Within minutes of his arrival, he has been frozen into unconsciousness and now sits in a machine, while next to him another form - the CHAMELEON-JENKINS - is forming under the watchful eyes of the CHAMELEON-PINTO.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6. CHAMELEON TOURS' HANGAR SAMANTHA: Oh Doctor! Can't you do anything to stop it? DOCTOR: No. (The DOCTOR is thinking furiously.) DOCTOR: Wait. One thing. It's a long chance but it just might work. (To SAMANTHA.) Have you got a mirror in that bag? SAMANTHA: Yes. DOCTOR: Let's see. (SAMANTHA struggles and manages to get the mirror out of the bag using her good arm.) DOCTOR: Yes, that'll do. Hand it to me. SAMANTHA: I can't. DOCTOR: I can't move my hand. Jamie, can you take it? (SAMANTHA tries to pass it to JAMIE.) SAMANTHA: Have you got it? JAMIE: No, careful! SAMANTHA: Take it! (JAMIE gets it.) JAMIE: Got it! DOCTOR: Right now, see if you can point it at that laser gun. JAMIE: Hey? DOCTOR: Th... that thing on the wall. JAMIE: I... I'll try, Doctor. But why? DOCTOR: Well, if you can reflect the light back, we've got a chance. (Tightening his grip on the mirror, JAMIE begins swinging it round towards the approaching beam.) SAMANTHA: (Worriedly.) Can't you prop it up on something? JAMIE: No, it won't work. I'll... I'll have to hold it. SAMANTHA: But your... your hand. JAMIE: It's a risk I'll have to take. (The beam creeps closer.) DOCTOR: Quick Jamie! Now! (The second before it touches him, JAMIE thrusts the mirror at a right angle to the source of the beam. He feels an instant's searing pain but ignores it, adjusts the mirror a fraction and the black metal transmitter explodes into flames.) DOCTOR: Oh, well done! (Ironically, as soon as the danger is over the frozen trio begin to feel life creeping back into their limbs. Slowly and painfully they begin wriggling and stretching, struggling to get up. JAMIE manages to sit up first, his face streaming with sweat and the others start to rub life back into their limbs.) JAMIE: Why... I can move! DOCTOR: I... I wonder if... JAMIE: Do you think that's what happened to Ben and Polly, Doctor? DOCTOR: No. JAMIE: Are you sure? DOCTOR: I think they were needed for some purpose. JAMIE: We weren't. DOCTOR: We were obviously too dangerous for them. (SAMANTHA is now sitting up too.) SAMANTHA: But to try and do something like this, in broad daylight! DOCTOR: Yes. That means only one thing, I'm afraid. Their plans are almost complete. We'll have to act fast if we're going to save Polly and Ben. SAMANTHA: And Brian, or have you forgotten about him. DOCTOR: No, I've not forgotten him Sam, but if my guess is right, they're all in the same place. JAMIE: And where's that? (They all clamber stiffly to their feet.) DOCTOR: I don't know. Wait! The first aid post! JAMIE: Hey? DOCTOR: We saw a first aid post on that monitor. JAMIE: (Understanding.) Aye. DOCTOR: We must find it. (The DOCTOR gets up and looks down at SAMANTHA who is having trouble getting up.) DOCTOR: Come on, you're not going to sit there all day are you? (The DOCTOR and JAMIE help SAMANTHA to stand up and all three begin moving a little stiffly towards the door.) DOCTOR: Just a minute. We can't all go down to the Medical Unit. SAMANTHA: All right. What can I do? (The DOCTOR turns to SAMANTHA.) DOCTOR: Did you get a good look at the man who tried to kill us? SAMANTHA: I'll say. I had my arms around his neck. DOCTOR: Go down to the Chameleon Kiosk and see if he comes in or out. SAMANTHA: Right! DOCTOR: But be careful. Don't let him see you. SAMANTHA: Me be careful!? You two watch out for yourselves! I'll be OK! (They make their way back to the main concourse and then split up. As SAMANTHA moves off towards the kiosk...) JAMIE: She's got a lot of courage, that wee lass, Doctor. DOCTOR: Yes. I just hope she doesn't try to be too adventurous. [SCENE_BREAK] 7. MEDICAL CENTRE (By now the CHAMELEON-JENKINS is complete and is undergoing final tests from the CHAMELEON-PINTO.) CHAMELEON-PINTO: (Studying the file in her hands.) Who are you? CHAMELEON-JENKINS: Steven Christopher Jenkins CHAMELEON-PINTO: Where do you live? CHAMELEON-JENKINS: With my parents in Wimbledon. CHAMELEON-PINTO: Employment? CHAMELEON-JENKINS: I'm an Immigration Officer, at Gatwick Airport. (The interrogation brakes off as the doors open and an oddly-dressed little man comes in, supporting a burly youth in a kilt. The younger man's eyes are closed and he is breathing heavily. Three guesses who these two are.) DOCTOR: Come along, easy. You'll be all right. Now come along, take it easy. We'll have you as right as rain in a minute. Now just get you down here. There we are. (He puts JAMIE into a chair.) DOCTOR: Splendid. JAMIE: (Whispering.) How am I doing, Doctor? DOCTOR: (Whispering.) Very well but don't over do it. (He looks about.) DOCTOR: Yes, this is the room. We see... saw on the TV monitor. (CHAMELEON-PINTO takes CHAMELEON-JENKINS by the arm and leads him hastily to the door as JAMIE groans in his chair.) CHAMELEON-PINTO: If the tablets do not help, come and see me again. (She bustles him out and turns to the DOCTOR and his companion.) CHAMELEON-PINTO: What's the matter with him? DOCTOR: It's a rare tropical disease, Nurse. I'm his doctor. If he... if he doesn't rally soon we shall err... we shall have to use somnalin. CHAMELEON-PINTO: Somnalin? DOCTOR: Yes... yes, somnalin. I shall have to get him somewhere to lie down. Umm... (Before CHAMELEON-PINTO can stop him, he opens the door to the inner room. CHAMELEON-PINTO hurries forward and sees to her relief that the inert form of the real JENKINS is completely hidden behind its screen.) DOCTOR: Oh yes, this will do nicely. CHAMELEON-PINTO: (Sharply.) I... I'm afraid you can't go there. DOCTOR: Why not? It's just an X-ray room, isn't it? Isn't that a couch behind the screen. (The DOCTOR tries to move forward again, but she bars his way.) CHAMELEON-PINTO: I'm sorry, Doctor. You can't take your patient in there. DOCTOR: You refuse to help my patient? CHAMELEON-PINTO: Oh, it's not that. I have someone coming for an X-ray. DOCTOR: Oh I see. Well why didn't you tell me in the first place. [SCENE_BREAK] 8. CHAMELEON TOURS' KIOSK, INNER ROOM (In the rear of the Chameleon Tours kiosk, SPENCER and CHAMELEON-JENKINS are watching all the activity in the Medical Centre on a monitor. The DOCTOR goes over to JAMIE, makes a pretence of examining him, and begins heaving him off of the couch. SPENCER flicks the monitor off as the DOCTOR and JAMIE leave the First Aid Post.) DOCTOR: (OOV.) Let's get you out of here. SPENCER: That Doctor is a menace to our plans. CHAMELEON-JENKINS: Then we must kill him. SPENCER: I tried. He must have escaped. CHAMELEON-JENKINS: They won't escape me. (He prepares to set off, but SPENCER detains him.) SPENCER: No, wait. This time, let them to come to us. [SCENE_BREAK] 9. AIRPORT CONTROL ROOM (JEAN is talking into the phone.) JEAN: I've been paging him, Superintendent, but he hasn't responded. (She listens to the phone.) JEAN: Yes, very well sir. I'll keep on trying. (She breaks the connection and dials the operator.) JEAN: Operator. Look, I booked a call through to Athens, now what happened? (She listens to the phone.) JEAN: Yes, very well, I'll stay near the phone. COMMANDANT: What's all this about? (JEAN looks up eagerly as the DOCTOR and JAMIE come into Air Traffic Control.) JEAN: Oh Doctor, have you seen Inspector Crossland? DOCTOR: Well no. Why? JEAN: Well, Scotland Yard are looking for him and we can't find him anywhere. Also, your Miss Briggs wants to see you. DOCTOR: But I told her to... Where is she now? JEAN: Well she said something about going to the Chameleon Kiosk. (The DOCTOR turns to JAMIE.) DOCTOR: Go down and join her, Jamie. She's a very strong headed young woman. See she doesn't come to any trouble. JAMIE: I'll keep an eye on her, Doctor. (JAMIE hurries away. The phone rings and JEAN snatches it up, talking into it in a low voice as if she didn't want to be overheard. The COMMANDANT shoots her an irritated glance.) DOCTOR: Commandant, did the Inspector say where he was going? COMMANDANT: Hmm, oh he said he was going to make some enquires about Chameleon Tours. DOCTOR: And now he's disappeared? COMMANDANT: Aren't you rather jumping to conclusions? DOCTOR: I don't think so. My two friends became involved with Chameleon Tours, and they've both disappeared. However, you know what I think wh... that's happened. COMMANDANT: Yes, and you know what I think about your ridiculous theory. People from outer space, indeed. (JEAN puts down the phone and stands up, her face white and shocked. The COMMANDANT stares at her.) COMMANDANT: Something the matter with you? JEAN: (In shock.) Commandant, I've found out what's been happening. DOCTOR: (In delight.) Well, that's a step in the right direction. JEAN: Wh... what I mean is I took the liberty of phoning all the airports that ah... err... Chameleon Tours fly to. The last on my list was Athens. COMMANDANT: B... but don't you realise the expense of phoning Ath... JEAN: Yes, I know, I'm sorry. But what I found out is - they never deliver any passengers. COMMANDANT: (Stupidly.) What do you mean? Never deliver any passengers... JEAN: It's absolutely true, sir. They all say the same thing. Dubrovnik, Athens, Rome. They say they pick up young passengers to take them off to other places but... none of them ever arrive anywhere! COMMANDANT: Well in that case, they must be flying these young people to some secret airfield. But why? DOCTOR: You're still thinking in Earth terms. COMMANDANT: And I intend to go on doing so. Wh... what was the name of that Chameleon Pilot? JEAN: Captain Blade. COMMANDANT: And what er... what time is the plane due back? (JEAN consults a schedule.) JEAN: About half an hour sir. COMMANDANT: Right. After the turn-round we'll have it followed this time. (He snatches up the phone. The DOCTOR takes JEAN aside.) DOCTOR: Might I have a word with you, my dear? COMMANDANT: (Into phone.) Get me the RAF Station Manston. DOCTOR: I suspect that the Medical Centre is connected with all this. JEAN: Medical Cen... Oh come on... DOCTOR: Now please don't get like him (Nodding toward the COMMANDANT). Oh yes, there is definitely a connection, now, I would like to get in there and have a look round. JEAN: But anyone can go in there. DOCTOR: But I would like to get that nurse out of the way first... Do you think that you can manage it for me? [SCENE_BREAK] 10. CHAMELEON TOURS' KIOSK (SAMANTHA is at the kiosk counter, talking to ANN DAVIDSON when JAMIE arrives.) ANN DAVIDSON: (Giving her a ticket.) You'll find that in order. SAMANTHA: Ta. (Catching her eye JAMIE sits down on their usual bench, and after a minute or two she comes over to join him.) JAMIE: (Shaking his head.) He said you'd do something silly. SAMANTHA: Oh yeah, what else did he say? JAMIE: He said you were headstrong. SAMANTHA: Oh great. Look, you can tell the Doctor he's not going to talk me out of this one, and neither are you. I'm going on the next Chameleon flight, that leaves in half a hour. (JAMIE looks unhappy.) SAMANTHA: Oh look don't you see it's the only way we can find out anything. Oh, don't worry. I'll come back and tell you all about it. JAMIE: (Gloomily.) If you do come back. SAMANTHA: Oh, it's only going to Rome. JAMIE: And what makes you so sure you'll find your brother in Rome? SAMANTHA: Oh, I don't know. But that's where he was supposed to be going. At least I'll be doing something. JAMIE: (Worriedly.) Aye, but do you not realise how dangerous it is. SAMANTHA: Look if you're scared, I'm certainly not. JAMIE: I wish the Doctor were here. SAMANTHA: (Angry.) Oh. JAMIE: Hey, maybe I could go with you. SAMANTHA: Hey, now you're talking. Do you think you can you raise the lolly? JAMIE: The lolly? SAMANTHA: The brass - the money. Look it will cost you twenty-eight quid - pounds to you. JAMIE: Oh but that's a fortune. I've never seen that much money in my life. I suppose I... I couldn't take your place? SAMANTHA: (Firmly.) No! (She turns away. JAMIE sees the ticket envelope sticking out from her bag. Stealthily he reaches out for it...) JAMIE: The Doctor said it was er... no job for a wee lassie... SAMANTHA: A wee lassie! (She swings round, nearly catching JAMIE in the act.) SAMANTHA: You can tell the Doctor... JAMIE: I say goodbye. (JAMIE lunges forward and plants a clumsy kiss on SAMANTHA's cheek. Surprised and touched, she hugs him for a moment.) SAMANTHA: Hey, kid! I can take care of myself, you know. JAMIE: I just wanted to make sure. (...as he slips the ticket from her bag and conceals it under his jumper. Leaving a puzzled SAMANTHA behind him, he hurries away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11. AIRPORT CONTROL ROOM (The COMMANDANT has done a lot of fast and high powered talking on the telephone and at last he has got his way.) COMMANDANT: (Into phone.) Hmm. So you can arrange to have it followed. Good. Oh I'll find out. (To JEAN.) What time's the next Chameleon flight? JEAN: 1530hrs to Rome, sir. COMMANDANT: (Into phone.) 1530hrs heading South. Right. And I'll let you know when they request permission to start up. Cheerio old man and many thanks. (He slams down the phone.) COMMANDANT: Well, that's settled that. The next Chameleon flight will have an RAF fighter on its tail. (Suddenly JEAN puts a hand to her head and slides from her chair. Shocked, the COMMANDANT snatches up the phone again.) COMMANDANT: Good grief. Jean. Jean! (No response.) COMMANDANT: What's the matter with the girl? (Into phone.) Get me the Medical Centre. [SCENE_BREAK] 12. MEDICAL CENTRE (The CHAMELEON-PINTO is talking to the COMMANDANT on the phone.) CHAMELEON-PINTO: Isn't it possible for your assistant to come down here, Commandant. (An angry voice blasts her from the other end of the phone.) CHAMELEON-PINTO: But I'm not supposed to leave here. (The angry voice blasts her again from the other end.) CHAMELEON-PINTO: (Stiffly.) All right sir, if you insist. (She slams down the phone, picks up a black medical bag and storms out. A few minutes later the door opens and the DOCTOR comes in. He hurries over to the inner room. Once inside, the DOCTOR stands looking around him. He goes over to the machine that looks like an X-ray machine but isn't, and examines it thoroughly. A large cupboard is set into one wall. The DOCTOR tries the door, but it is locked. The DOCTOR produces his sonic screwdriver and sets to work. The CHAMELEON-JENKINS comes into the outer room and sees the DOCTOR at work. Drawing a ray gun from his pocket, he conceals himself behind the connecting door. The DOCTOR gets the big cupboard open without much difficulty and finds that it contains neatly stacked piles of black and white sheaths. He examines them thoughtfully. Then taking one of each colour he slips them into his left and right hand coat pockets. Closing the cupboard he turns and leaves the room. He hurries past CHAMELEON-JENKINS without seeing him. CHAMELEON-JENKINS trains his ray gun on the DOCTOR's back - and the outer doors open admitting a worried looking middle-aged lady. As the lady comes in the DOCTOR realises there is someone behind him and turns in time to see CHAMELEON-JENKINS slipping the ray gun back in his pocket.) DOCTOR: (Before either CHAMELEON-JENKINS or the passenger can speak, hurriedly.) I'm just going off duty, but err this gentleman will be pleased to attend to you. (And with that he disappears through the outer doors.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13. AIRPORT CONTROL ROOM (As the DOCTOR comes back into Air Traffic Control, CHAMELEON-PINTO is examining JEAN.) CHAMELEON-PINTO: How do you feel now? JEAN: Not too good. COMMANDANT: I can't understand it. She's never done this on me before. (JEAN sees the DOCTOR, who gives her a signal, and stands up.) JEAN: Thank you Nurse. I feel much better now. COMMANDANT: Well there couldn't be much wrong then. CHAMELEON-PINTO: (To JEAN.) Have you had any lunch? JEAN: No I've been so busy today, I haven't even had any breakfast. CHAMELEON-PINTO: Then no wonder you didn't feel well. (To the COMMANDANT.) Really Commandant. You must see that your staff have time for regular meals. COMMANDANT: I've never stopped her having her lunch! CHAMELEON-PINTO: (Half-believing.) I'm sure, Commandant. But it has been known to happen. (CHAMELEON-PINTO closes her medical bag and marches out of the room, glaring suspiciously at the DOCTOR, who is staring absorbedly at one of the radar screens. As soon as she is gone, the DOCTOR hurries over to JEAN, who is lying back limply in her chair.) COMMANDANT: (To JEAN.) Now look here. DOCTOR: Very well done! (JEAN sits up, bright and alert again.) JEAN: Did I give you enough time? DOCTOR: Ample time. COMMANDANT: What is all this? You weren't ill at all, were you? DOCTOR: It's all right, Commandant. She was acting on my instructions. (He produces the two sheaths.) COMMANDANT: On your instructions? DOCTOR: Yes. What do you think of these? (The COMMANDANT stares at them.) COMMANDANT: Now, what are these? DOCTOR: I think there's somebody here who can tell us. (He looks across to MEADOWS's usual station...) DOCTOR: Excuse me. (...but it is occupied by someone else.) DOCTOR: Where's the chap who usually sits there? COMMANDANT: Well he's probably off duty. In that case, he'll be back on shift in a couple of hours. DOCTOR: I see. Oh well, these'll have to wait. [SCENE_BREAK] 14. CHAMELEON TOURS' KIOSK TANNOY: Chameleon Youth Tours announce the departure of their flight number Four-One-Nine to Rome. Will all passengers please assemble in the departure lounge. (SAMANTHA puts back all the contents of her bag, which have been spread out over the Chameleon Tours counter. ANN DAVIDSON comes up to her.) ANN DAVIDSON: (To other passengers before SAMANTHA.) Don't forget your postcards. Give them back to me and we'll post them for you when... (She takes the postcards and turns to SAMANTHA.) ANN DAVIDSON: Have you found your ticket yet? SAMANTHA: I don't know. I seem to have lost it somewhere. But you remember me, don't you? I bought it off you. ANN DAVIDSON: There are so many people... what was the name? [SCENE_BREAK] 15. CHAMELEON TOURS' KIOSK, INNER ROOM (In the office, SPENCER is watching this on his monitor. SAMANTHA and ANN DAVIDSON can be heard.) SAMANTHA: Err, Samantha Briggs. Oh, it had S. Briggs on the ticket. (ANN DAVIDSON studies her list.) ANN DAVIDSON: S. Briggs has already checked in. SAMANTHA: Oh no. Well, who the heck... Look, can you remember what she looked like? ANN DAVIDSON: She? I seem to remember a boy with that ticket. SAMANTHA: (Bitterly.) Jamie! He's pinched it. Look you have to stop him! ANN DAVIDSON: I can't hold up the flight. SAMANTHA: But look. ANN DAVIDSON: I'm sorry, there's nothing more I can do for you. (SPENCER picks up the phone and dials through to the front.) [SCENE_BREAK] 16. CHAMELEON TOURS' KIOSK (ANN DAVIDSON picks up the phone.) ANN DAVIDSON: (Into phone.) Hello. Yes, all right. That's very kind of you. (She puts down the phone and turns to SAMANTHA.) ANN DAVIDSON: You're very fortunate. Your ticket's just been found. SAMANTHA: Oh good. Well who got it? ANN DAVIDSON: We can't tell you that I'm afraid but our manager would like to see you. He's just through there. (She points towards the rear of the kiosk.) SAMANTHA: Oh right, ta. (SAMANTHA hurries towards the little office. ANN DAVIDSON turns to the passengers.) ANN DAVIDSON: Now, who's got their postcards ready? [SCENE_BREAK] 17. CHAMELEON TOURS' KIOSK, INNER ROOM (As she comes in, a man is studying a monitor screen.) SAMANTHA: Er, you wanted to see me? (The man at the desk looks up. It is SPENCER, the man who tried to kill her, she realises, and there is a ray gun in his hand.) SPENCER: Yes, indeed. You won't escape again! [SCENE_BREAK] 18. AIRPORT CONCOURSE (We see the passengers being led through the concourse and through the gate.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19. AIRPORT CONTROL ROOM HESLINGTON: Chameleon Four-One-Nine. Clearance correct. BLADE: (OOV.) Chameleon Four-One-Nine. Taxi Clearance? HESLINGTON: Chameleon Four-One-Nine. Taxi following southern taxiway for departure runway two-seven. BLADE: (OOV.) Roger. (The COMMANDANT is watching the blip that is Chameleon Flight Four-One-Nine on his radar screen.) COMMANDANT: Well this time they'll have the RAF on their tail! DOCTOR: How high can fighters go these days, Commandant? COMMANDANT: Oh, ten miles plus. DOCTOR: How futile. [SCENE_BREAK] 20. AIRPORT RUNWAY (We see the aeroplane taking off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 21. AIRPORT CONTROL ROOM JEAN: RAF Manston, sir. (The COMMANDANT hurries to the phone.) COMMANDANT: Oh, good. (Into phone.) Hello, old boy. The Chameleon Rome flight's just taken off. They're on Amber One, at flight level two-one-zero. Right. Good man. [SCENE_BREAK] 22. CHAMELEON PLANE ANN DAVIDSON: You can unfasten your seat belts now. Thank you. (On board the plane JAMIE is sitting in an aisle seat, struggling to control his rebellious stomach. He is obviously scared at the new sensation of flying. ANN DAVIDSON comes along and dumps a tray of airline food on the table of the seat next to him. She notices his pallor.) ANN DAVIDSON: Are you all right? JAMIE: Oh aye, I'll be all right. ANN DAVIDSON: Good. (He looks at the cheerful teenager tucking in next to him. It is just too much. A hand to his mouth, JAMIE sprints for the toilets at the rear of the plane.) [SCENE_BREAK] 23. AIRPORT CONTROL ROOM (The DOCTOR and the COMMANDANT are standing behind HESLINGTON, studying the blip on his radar screen that represents the Chameleon plane in steady flight. The COMMANDANT points to the screen.) COMMANDANT: That's the fifty-mile mark they're passing now. DOCTOR: Normally you... you don't plot them at this range? COMMANDANT: No, there's too much traffic to control. Once they're up and away on their air corridor, we're finished with them. (A voice crackles from the speaker.) VOICE: (OOV.) Hello, Gatwick Airport. This is RAF Two-Four-One. How do you read me? [SCENE_BREAK] 24. RAF PLANE (We see an RAF fighter while we hear the voices.) HESLINGTON: Gatwick Airport to RAF Two-Four-One. We read you loud and clear. VOICE: Have the Chameleon aircraft in sight. Am following at ten thousand feet, heading due south. [SCENE_BREAK] 25. AIRPORT CONTROL ROOM (The COMMANDANT points to a smaller blip following the Chameleon one.) COMMANDANT: That's him. Right on the tail. So far so good! [SCENE_BREAK] 26. CHAMELEON FLIGHT DECK (On the flight deck of the Chameleon plane everything is ready. ANN DAVIDSON closes and seals the door.) ANN DAVIDSON: All set. (Once again BLADE pulls the lever, and once again the crowd of laughing chattering teenagers packing the rows of seats disappears from the monitor screen. ANN DAVIDSON takes the big segmented container from its special compartment and prepares to go back into the main cabin, but BLADE stops her. He has been studying the radar-screen.) BLADE: Something's following us. ANN DAVIDSON: Another airliner going the same way? BLADE: No, it's too small. (BLADE flicks on a monitor and adjusts it to give a close-up head-on view of the pursuing plane.) BLADE: It's a fighter. Give me a radar reading. (ANN DAVIDSON studies the instrument panel beneath the radar screen.) ANN DAVIDSON: Two-three decimal seven-nine. (BLADE reaches towards a separate instrument console, adjusts some controls and then presses a firing button.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27. RAF PLANE (In the cockpit of the fighter, the pilot feels a dazzling beam of light strike him squarely between the eyes. He slumps forward, unconscious. Slowly the fighter begins its long nose-dive into the sea.) [SCENE_BREAK] 28. AIRPORT CONTROL ROOM COMMANDANT: Heslington, that fighter's off course! HESLINGTON: (Into mike.) Gatwick to RAF Two-Four-One. Do you read me? DOCTOR: That plane isn't just off course. Something's happened to it. HESLINGTON: You're right. It's out of control. (Into mike.) Gatwick to RAF Two-Four-One. Do you read me? DOCTOR: (Sadly.) I don't think you'll get a reply. (He is quite right: the mike remains dead.) COMMANDANT: It's fading, dropping out of our radar. Jean, get me RAF Manston. That plane's crashed. HESLINGTON: Look at the Chameleon plane! There's something wrong with that too. COMMANDANT: Hmmm? DOCTOR: It's standing still! COMMANDANT: Impossible. (HESLINGTON studies the screen.) HESLINGTON: No sir, the blip's stationary. COMMANDANT: (Incredulously.) That can only mean one thing... It's crashing too! [SCENE_BREAK] 29. CHAMELEON PLANE (High above them the Chameleon plane is folding its wings into its body. The familiar aeroplane shape suddenly takes on the sleeker lines of a space rocket.) [SCENE_BREAK] 30. CHAMELEON PLANE, INTERIOR (On board the plane, the first part of the conversion process is complete. BLADE slides back a panel to reveal a second instrument console and begins preparations for the final stages of the journey. ANN DAVIDSON is moving through the cabin gathering her incredible harvest when the intercom crackles.) BLADE: (OOV.) Report to the flight deck immediately. (She goes back to the flight deck and finds BLADE studying a file.) BLADE: How many people require passports in order to leave the airport on the next flight. ANN DAVIDSON: Twenty-Five. BLADE: You missed this one here. ANN DAVIDSON: (Shaken.) I'm sorry. BLADE: Carry on. (Shaken, ANN returns to her duties. She walks back to the main cabin, looking for the next seat to resume the collection. It is an aisle seat, but it is empty. She frowns. Since the seat is empty she assumes that she must have already collected it. She moves on down the plane. The seat about which she was uncertain was JAMIE's.) [SCENE_BREAK] 31. AIRPORT CONTROL ROOM (JEAN puts down her phone.) JEAN: Negative report from Air Sea Rescue, sir. COMMANDANT: But with two aircraft ditching there must be some signs of wreckage. DOCTOR: (Gently.) Why do you think the Chameleon plane crashed into the sea? (The COMMANDANT stares at him.) COMMANDANT: Because it disappeared off our radar screen! DOCTOR: But it stood still first! COMMANDANT: Because it must have collided with the RAF plane and dropped like a stone. DOCTOR: Why do you think that? (The COMMANDANT snatches a note pad from his desk and draws a big circle, bisected by a horizontal line.) COMMANDANT: You see, when a plane on that radar appears to stand still, it is in point of fact dropping straight down. DOCTOR: What about straight up? COMMANDANT: (Wearily.) Oh my dear Doctor! To get above our radar umbrella like that it'd have to climb vertically until it was a hundred miles high. The darned thing would be in outer space. DOCTOR: Exactly! [SCENE_BREAK] 32. SPACE (As they speak the Chameleon spaceship is streaking upwards, Earth's atmosphere left far behind. Far above in the blackness of deep space there hangs the giant gleaming sphere that is the Chameleon space station. The spaceship speeds towards it. The entry doors slide open and the space craft disappears inside. Flight Four-One-Nine had arrived...)

When Spencer attempts to kill them, the Doctor, Jamie and Sam become convinced Chameleon Tours are hiding something and Sam decides to book a ticket on one of their flights.

fd_FRIENDS_02x09

fd_FRIENDS_02x09_0

Originally written by Jeffrey Astroff and Mike Sikowitz Transcribed by Josh Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan SIlverstein. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, Ross, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is looking out the window.] PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls. [Chandler and Joey enter.] JOEY: Hey. CHANDLER: Hey. RACHEL: Hey. JOEY: Hey, how much did you guys tip the super this year? CHANDLER: Yeah, we were gonna give fifty, but if you guys gave more, we don't wanna look bad. MONICA: Oh, actually this year we just made him homemade cookies. CHANDLER: And twenty-five it is. JOEY: You gave him cookies? MONICA: Money is so impersonal. Cookies says someone really cares. . . Alright, we're broke, but cookies do say that. PHOEBE: I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick. CHANDLER: Phoebs, let me ask you something, were, were these, uh, funny brownies? PHOEBE: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them. ROSS: So you guys, who else did you tip with cookies? RACHEL: Uhh, the mailman, the super. [There's a bang at the door.] MONICA: Oh, and the newspaper delivery guy. [Joey opens the door and picks up the remnants of the newspaper. JOEY: Oh my God. RACHEL: What? JOEY: Uhhh, I don't think you're gonna like this. [Joey shows them the torn-up newspaper.] RACHEL: Ooh, goooosh, ooh, these are cookies smashed in the sports section. MONICA: Oh look, and he did my crossword puzzle. ROSS: Yeah, but not very well, unless 14-across, 'Gershwin musical' actually is bitemebitemebitemebiteme. OPENING TITLES [Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Joey are seated at couches. Rachel is working behind the counter.] JOEY: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'. CHANDLER: Which is why geese are so relaxed this time of year. [Ross enters with several bags from shopping.] ROSS: Hey guys. CHANDLER, MONICA, and JOEY: Hey. [Ross approaches Rachel at counter.] ROSS: Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. [Rachel is not impressed]. . I'll open it. It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. [sings] Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's. . . just a big spring. Alright, you still mad at me becuase of the whole. . . RACHEL: Horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me? ROSS: How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? [Rachel walks off] Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place? GUNTHER: Yeah. ROSS: Here, go nuts. [gives him the Slinky and goes and sits with others at the couches] ROSS: Hey guys. CHANDLER, MONICA, and JOEY: Hey. CHANDLER: What's in the bag? ROSS: Um, just some presents. JOEY: C'mon show us what you bought. . . You know you want to. ROSS: [childishly] OK. OK, this is a picture frame from Ben to my parents, huh. MONICA: Cute. ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom. [Ross holds up the blouse. It is extremely tacky, with sewn-on medals hanging off of it.] MONICA: Ross, that is gorgeous! ROSS: Yeah? MONICA: Look at these authentic fake medals. I tell ya, mom's gonna be voted best dressed at the make-believe military academy. [Phoebe enters.] PHOEBE: Hey. GANG: Hey. Hi Phoebe. PHOEBE: Happy Christmas Eve Eve. [sees Ross's picture frame] Oh my God, where did you get this? ROSS: Uh, Macy's, third floor, home furnishings. PHOEBE: This is my father, this is a picture of my dad. CHANDLER: Nah, Phoebs, that's the guy that comes in the frame. PHOEBE: No it isn't, this is my dad, alright, I'll show you. RACHEL: Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison. PHOEBE: No, that's my stepdad. My real dad's the one that ran out on us before I was born. RACHEL: How have you never been on Oprah? PHOEBE: [showing her pictures] OK, look, see, this is him. My mother gave me this picture before she died, same guy. MONICA: Honey, uh, this is a picture of the frame guy posing in front of a bright blue screen with a collie. PHOEBE: It's not a blue screen... it's just, maybe it was just really clear that day. OK, I have to talk to my grandmother. [turns to leave] MONICA: Oh, wait a minute honey. GANG: Phoebs. [Phoebe leaves] MONICA: Wow. JOEY: So anyway, I'm trying to get my boss's ex-wife to sleep with me. . . GANG: Joey! JOEY: Oh, but when Phoebe has a problem, everyone's all ears! [Scene: Phoebe's grandmother's place. Phoebe's grandmother is sitting at the table, reading the obituaries, and crossing out names in the phonebook.] GRANDMOTHER: Esther Livingston. [scratches out name] Gone. [Phoebe enters.] GRANDMOTHER: Hi, Phoe. PHOEBE: Hi Gram. Whatcha doin'? GRANDMOTHER: Oh, just updating the phonebook. PHOEBE: Um, gram, um, can I see the pictures of my dad again? GRANDMOTHER: [nervously] Oh. Oh, sure, sure, uh, uh, how come? PHOEBE: Just, you know, to see... um. GRANDMOTHER: Oh, sure, yeah. [gets a box with the pictures] This is the one of you father in a meadow, and, uh, helping a little boy fly a kite, and here he is at a graduation. . . another graduation. . . another graduation. PHOEBE: OK, is this really my father? GRANDMOTHER: Is it really your fa--I can't... well of course it is. PHOEBE: OK, I smell smoke. Maybe that's 'cause someone's pants are on fire. GRANDMOTHER: Look, I. . . PHOEBE: Ya know, in all the years that we have been grandmother and granddaughter, you have never lied to me. GRANDMOTHER: Alright, that is not your father, that's just a picture of a guy in a frame. PHOEBE: Oh God. GRANDMOTHER: It was your mother's idea. Ya know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't want to go along with it, but, well then she died and, and it was harder to argue with her. Not impossible, but harder. PHOEBE: Alright, so, what, he's not a famous tree surgeon? And then, I guess, OK, he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones? GRANDMOTHER: Last I heard, he was a pharmacist somewhere upstate. PHOEBE: OK, that makes no sense. Why would the villagers worship a pharmacist? GRANDMOTHER: Honey. PHOEBE: [realizes] Oh. GRANDMOTHER: Anyway, that's all I know. That, and this. [pulls apart a frame and pulls a picture out] This is the real him. PHOEBE: Oh. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel, Chandler, and Joey are decorating the Christmas tree.] CHANDLER: Ya know I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneakin around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up. RACHEL: Well, that doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas. CHANDLER: Who said anything about Christmas? [Monica and Ross enter.] MONICA: Hi. ROSS: Hey, anyone hear from Phoebe yet? RACHEL: No, nothin'. MONICA: I hope she's OK. JOEY: Yeah, I know exactly what she's goin' through. MONICA: How do you know exactly what she's going through? JOEY: She told us. CHANDLER: So whaddya got there Monica? MONICA: Just some stuff for the party. ROSS: Yeah, what're you guys doin' here, aren't you supposed to be Christmas shopping? MONICA: You guys haven't gotten your presents yet? Tomorrow's Christmas Eve, what're ya gonna do? CHANDLER: Don't you have to be Claymation to say stuff like that? RACHEL: Oh, by the way Mon, I don't think the mailman liked your cookies. Here are the ornaments your mom sent. [hands her a smashed box] MONICA: Well, maybe the mailman liked the cookies, we just didn't give him enough. JOEY: Monica, pigeons learn faster that you. [Ross approaches Rachel, away from everyone else.] ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein] Commercial [Scene: Chandler is standing on a street corner waiting for Phoebe in the cab. Joey walks up.] JOEY: Phoebe here with the cab yet? CHANDLER: Yeah, she, she brought the invisible cab. . . hop in. JOEY: Well she better get here soon, the outlet stores close at 7. CHANDLER: Hey, don't worry. I figure it'll be 2 hours to Phoebe's dad's house, they'll meet, they'll chat, they'll swap life stories, we'll still have plenty of time. [Phoebe drives up in the cab] JOEY: Hey, here she comes. Chandler: Hey. JOEY: Hey. [Phoebe runs over the curb. Joey gets in the back seat, Chandler in the front] PHOEBE: Hey. JOEY: Hey. PHOEBE: Can you believe this. In, like, two hours I'm gonna have a dad. Eeeshk. CHANDLER: Eeeshk. JOEY: Yeah, big stuff. PHOEBE: OK, let's go. CHANDLER: OK. PHOEBE: Alright, here, you have to hold this. [hands Chandler a piece of paper] CHANDLER: OK. [reads paper] Brake left, gas right? PHOEBE: Uh-huh, yeah, that's my cheat sheet. CHANDLER: [grabs for seat belt] Where's my seat belt? PHOEBE: Oh, no no, that side doesn't have one, the paramedics had to cut through it. [Chandler jumps out of the car] CHANDLER: [Chandler gets in the back seat] Hey! JOEY: Hey. [Phoebe takes off, Joey and Chandler are thrown back in the seat] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is preparing for the party with Ross questioning her.] ROSS: C'mon, just tell me, please, please. MONICA: For the sixteenth time, no... I do not think you're obsessive. [Rachel enters from her room] RACHEL: Oh, gosh, it's hot in here. MONICA: Rach, get the heat. [Rachel holds up her hand with wet fingernail polish] Ross, could you turn the heat down please? ROSS: Sure. By the way, there's a difference between being obsessive and. . . MONICA: Ross, the heat! ROSS: Fine, OK! Heat, heat, heat, and I'm the obsessive one. [goes to the radiator and starts turning the knob] OK, this way is on, so this is. . . [breaks off the knob] off. RACHEL: Did you just break the radiator? ROSS: No, no, I was turnin' the knob and, and. . . here it is. MONICA: Well put it back. ROSS: It uhh, it won't go back. RACHEL: I'll call the super. MONICA: Here, let me try. ROSS: Oh, oh that's right, I forgot about your ability to fuse metal. MONICA: Hey, it's Funny's cousin, Not Funny. RACHEL: [on phone] Hi, Mr. Treeger. Hi, it's Rachel Green from upstairs. Yes, somebody, uh, broke our knob on the radiator and it's really hot in here. Yes, it's, it's hot enough to bake cookies. Well, do you think we could have a new one by 6? Wha t, no, no, Tuesday, we can't wait until Tuesday, we're having a party tonight. ROSS: OK, tip the man. MONICA: No, if he doesn't like our cookies, too bad, I am not gonna be blackmailed. Look if worse comes to worse, it gets a little warm, we'll call it a theme party. ROSS: Hey, here's a theme: Come on in, live like bacon. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Outside Phoebe's dad's house. The cab pulls up.] PHOEBE: Ooh, this is it, 74. [screeches to a halt, Joey and Chandler are thrown into the plexiglass wall in the cab] CHANDLER: Oh, so that's what this is for. PHOEBE: Wow, this is it, I'm gonna meet my dad. This is like the biggest thing ever, huh. CHANDLER: Yeah. JOEY: Sure is. PHOEBE: OK, here I go. I'm goin' in. CHANDLER: Alright. JOEY: Good luck Phoebs. PHOEBE: OK, here I go. . . here I go. . . I'm goin'. [she just sits in the cab] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. They are having their party. All the guests are stripped down because of the heat.] RACHEL: [answers door] Hi, welcome to our tropical Christmas party. You can put your coats and sweaters and pants and shirts in the bedroom. ROSS: [sitting at table talking to a girl] It's hard to tell because I'm sweating, but I use exactly what the gel bottle says, an amount about the size of a pea. How, how can that be too much? MONICA: [carrying an ice cube tray] Ice, ice, ice squares anyone? Take a napkin. Alright. ROSS: Monica, Monica, your guest are turning into jerky, OK. MONICA: Really? I'm perfectly comfortable. [one of the guest opens the refrigerator] Hey, hey, hey, get in line buddy, I was next. [she opens the refrigerator and leans into it] RACHEL: [answering the door] Mr. Treeger. MR. TREEGER: Uhh, you said there was a party. RACHEL: Oh, yeah, well hey, welcome to our sauna. MR. TREEGER: Ahh, is it hot? My body always stays cool, probably 'cause I have so much skin. Hey, cheese! [Ross is speaking to Monica and Rachel about tipping the super.] ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.] MR. TREEGER: Oh wow, I didn't get you anything. Here's five back. ROSS: No no, no, that, that's your Christmas tip, alright. Oh, hey, do you think there's a chance you could fix that radiator now? MR. TREEGER: No can do, like I told the girl, I can't get a new knob until Thursday. MONICA: Ross. ROSS: Yeah. MONICA: [to Ross] Looks like he's playin' baseball. ROSS: You mean hardball? MONICA: Whatever. RACHEL: What'cha gonna' do? ROSS: Excuse me, I'm seizing. Mr. Treeger, here's another 50, happy Hanukkah. Will uh, will this help with the knob getting? MR. TREEGER: No, the place is not open 'till Tuesday. Am I not saying it right. MONICA: So, wait, you really did like my cookies? MR. TREEGER: Oh, yeah, they were so personal, really showed you cared. RACHEL: Nice seizing. . . gel boy. MR. TREEGER: [to Rachel who is standing under mistletoe] So, uh, is this, uh, mistletoe? RACHEL: Huh-huh, no act--no, uhh, that, that is basil. MR. TREEGER: Ahh, if it was mistletoe, I was gonna kiss ya. RACHEL: Huh-hoo, yeah, no, it's still basil. [Scene: Outside Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe is running back to the cab.] PHOEBE: OK. JOEY: How far'd ya get? PHOEBE: Mailbox. CHANDLER: Alright, we're gettin' closer. PHOEBE: Uh-huh. JOEY: Phoebs, what's goin' on? PHOEBE: No, it's just like, ya know, it's a whole mess of stuff, ya know. It's like, yesterday, ya know, my dad was this, like, famous Burma tree surgeon guy and, ya know, now he's a, a pharmacist guy and. . . JOEY: Well, maybe he's, maybe he's this really cool pharmacist guy. PHOEBE: Yeah, maybe, yeah. You know, and, and I'll knock on the door and, and he'll hug me and I'll have a dad. Ya know and I'll, I'll go to his pharmacy and everyone will be really nice to me 'cause, you know, I'm Franks daughter. CHANDLER: Well, so why not go knock? PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one. JOEY: Phoebs, that's OK. You took a big step today. PHOEBE: Yeah? CHANDLER: Yeah, and someday when you're ready, you'll make it past the hedges. JOEY: Yeah, and when you do, he'll be lucky to have you. PHOEBE: You guys. I'm sorry about your shopping. CHANDLER: Oh, that's OK, we'll figure something out. JOEY: Uh, listen Phoebs, I know you're not goin' in there but do you think it'd be alright if I went in and used his bathroom? Oh, that's fine, never mind. Cool, snow, kinda like a blank canvas. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around after the party. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter.] CHANDLER: Ho, ho, ho, holy crap is it hot in here! JOEY: Really, hey, you mind if I turn the heat down? MONICA: Hey, we could have used that kind of thinkin' earlier. ROSS: Hey, Phoebs, how'd it go. PHOEBE: Oh, I couldn't go in. MONICA: Honey, I'm sorry. ROSS: Are you OK? PHOEBE: Yeah, yeah, no it's OK 'cause, I mean, I know he's there, so, that's enough for now. CHANDLER: Hey, guys, it's after midnight, merry Christmas everyone. [Ross and Phoebe hug, Monica and Rachel hug, Chandler is left standing] JOEY: Hey, Monica, the knob was broken so I just turned it off from underneath, I hope that's alright. CLOSING TITLES [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.] JOEY: Rach, these are for you. RACHEL: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car. JOEY: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do. CHANDLER: OK, Phoebs, your turn. PHOEBE: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas? JOEY: Uh-huh. PHOEBE: You guuuyys. JOEY: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth. ROSS: You got me a cola drink? CHANDLER: And, a lemon lime. ROSS: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater. CHANDLER: And last but not least. [Chandler and Joey give Monica a pack of condoms.] JOEY: They're ribbed for your pleasure. [Ross and Monica trade their gifts.]

At Christmastime, Monica, strapped for cash, tips people using home-baked cookies, receiving mixed reactions. Phoebe discovers that the framed picture of her father that her grandmother keeps in her apartment is actually the photo model. She tries locating her real father, then decides she is unready to meet him. Chandler and Joey delayed Christmas shopping and scrounge gifts from a gas station. To win back Rachel, Ross asks her to make a list about him, then is offended when she calls him obsessive, among other things.

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_06x09

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_06x09_0

THE MIND ROBBER BY PETER LING 5:20pm - 5:40pm [SCENE_BREAK] HEART OF THE LABYRINTH (This room is a large cave at the centre of a labyrinth of tunnels. Although not seen in this scene, the room is lit by a number of candles mounted in candelabras set into the walls. We first see the Medusa's head in close up, snakes writhing about her head, then we cut to The Doctor and Zoe who are huddled close together, the Doctor's arm around Zoe's shoulder. They stare off into space, their eyes averted from the Medusa, which is approaching. They can hear the hiss of the many snakes on her head.) DOCTOR: (Urgently.) Don't look in her eyes. Don't look. The Medusa doesn't exist, you must believe that. ZOE: (Panicked.) I can feel her fingertips, like ice. DOCTOR: No, no, that's marble. Think of her as a marble statue. A legend. ZOE: But she's real. I've got to look at her, I've got to. [SCENE_BREAK] CASTLE INTERIOR (This room consists of two linked areas. The first is a bare white room roughly square in shape. It contains an arched window in the centre of the back wall. To the right of this window is an small arched exit. To the left of the window is a large square arched opening with a step leading down into the second area. The second area is where Jamie is standing by the teleprint machine, reading. This area contains a number of machines.) JAMIE: (Reading.) "One glance from her eyes would turn them to stone. But all was not yet lost. Suddenly the Doctor found a sword at his feet, picked it up, and with one stroke, slew the monster." (He looks up and stares off into the distance, deep in thought.) [SCENE_BREAK] HEART OF THE LABYRINTH (The Doctor is bent over. He suddenly straightens up holding a sword in his right hand. His left hand is held protectively around Zoe's shoulder.) DOCTOR: A sword! ZOE: Well, that's it - you're supposed to use the sword, like Perseus. DOCTOR: Maybe it's another trap? ZOE: Oh Doctor, please! DOCTOR: No, how can I kill something that doesn't exist. (He throws the sword to the floor.) ZOE: I've got to open my eyes, I've got to see. DOCTOR: No wait! Perseus, of course, a mirror. (He reaches into his right hand jacket pocket and produces an oval mirror with a handle.) DOCTOR: (Forcibly.) There, look at her reflection in the mirror, look. (The Doctor holds the mirror so Zoe can see the Medusa's reflection. We see from Zoe's point of view. We can see the face of the Medusa.) DOCTOR: You see her. ZOE: Yes. DOCTOR: This is how Perseus escaped. He looked at her reflection in his polished shield. There's no danger in the reflection. (Slowly the snakes on the Medusa's head slow and stop moving. Eventually the Medusa becomes a statue again. Both the Doctor and Zoe cautiously turn to look at it.) DOCTOR: (Calmly.) You can look now, the statue has become a statue again. [SCENE_BREAK] CASTLE INTERIOR (Jamie is still reading from the teleprint machine.) JAMIE: Cancel! cancel! cancel! The Doctor test report failure. (He drops the message reel and sets off across the room. He passes out of the machine area, past the arched window through which he entered the castle, and begins to leave the room through the arched exit. As he does so, an alarm sounds. He rushes back into the room.) THE MASTER: (Voice only.) Attention! Attention! There is a stranger inside the building. (Jamie attempts to climb out of the window but a metal grille swings down, blocking his escape. Jamie jumps back to avoid the swinging grille.) THE MASTER: (Voice only.) Call out a search party. (Jamie checks through the archway, where he appears to see someone approach. He runs back into the machine room, hiding to the left of the connecting archway. We can see a small metallic device mounted into the wall about 30 cm from the floor. We see a figure enter the room through the narrow arched entrance. The figure who enters carries a sword. He crosses the room quickly, and as he spots Jamie, is revealed to be Gulliver.) GULLIVER: Ah the young traveller. I had wondered as much. JAMIE: Have you been sent to find me? GULLIVER: His companions were in a state of some anxiety concerning his present whereabouts. JAMIE: Companions! Zoe and the Doctor. Where are they? GULLIVER: Safe and well. JAMIE: You've actually spoken to them? GULLIVER: The gentlemen desired I let him know what place I came from and whither I was bound. (We hear a strange mechanical sound.) JAMIE: Oh what's that? (Jamie rushes across the archway and hides against the opposite wall, his back to it.) GULLIVER: I heard nothing. (Jamie pops his head round the corner to take a look.) JAMIE: Probably the search party. (Gulliver follows him and stands nearby.) GULLIVER: By the laws of this kingdom, every chamber must be searched. JAMIE: If they find me, I'm done for. GULLIVER: You should be put to death. (As Jamie leans back against the wall, a panel slides across, revealing a darkened recess beyond. Jamie stumbles backward into it. He leans forward and emerges again.) JAMIE: What about you? GULLIVER: I will come to no harm. JAMIE: (Pointing at Gulliver.) If you give me away this time, I'm finished. (Jamie enters the recess and slides the panel across, leaving Gulliver alone in the room. Gulliver draws his sword in his right hand and a small flintlock pistol in his left.) GULLIVER: (To Himself.) I was ready with the hazard of my life to defend this person. (A group of the three White Robots enter. They move slowly across the room accompanied by a mechanical sound and periodic electronic beeps. They pass close to Gulliver but ignore him. He continues to look around the room as he stands vigil. It is unclear if he sees the White Robots at all. Eventually the three White Robots cross the room and stand at a black door at the far side of the machine area. It opens and they begin to leave. Jamie then emerges from his hiding place.) JAMIE: Where have they gone? GULLIVER: Mmm JAMIE: The White Robots! GULLIVER: Young Sir, I do assure you, there was no such person here. JAMIE: Aye, well, robots or not, I'm getting out of this place. (Jamie walks to the grilled window and begins to pull on the bars, to no avail. As he struggles, Gulliver approaches and stands near.) GULLIVER: You desire your liberty? JAMIE: Yes. I mean, I got in alright - the thing is how do I get out? (Gulliver moves away from the window and Jamie joins him.) GULLIVER: After some consideration... JAMIE: Yes. Gulliver: ...I was of the opinion that... JAMIE: Go on, go on. GULLIVER: ...this was altogether impossible. (Jamie looks to the heavens for help.) [SCENE_BREAK] CLIFFSIDE (We see a many-towered castle, high on a hillside. The castle turrets are toped with ornate coned roofs and the battlements are adorned with crenellations. DOCTOR: (OOV.) Oh yes, that's the citadel alright. (The Doctor and Zoe are revealed standing close to a cliff wall, looking off to their left at the Citadel high above them.) DOCTOR: The question is, how do we get up there. ZOE: It's an awful long way to climb. (We hear a strange noise.) DOCTOR: (Alarmed.) Zoe, duck! (The Doctor pulls Zoe to the floor. Behind them, a rock explodes as some weapon narrowly misses the time travellers. The pair cautiously look up. The Doctor focusing on the exploded rock. Zoe turns and her mouth falls open in surprise.) ZOE: (OOV.) The Karkus. (A comic-book style effect, involving an expanding star design, occurs, and an armed figure is revealed. The figure is wearing tight black pants or leggings with a large buckled belt above. He has a light covered shirt with exaggerated musculature design embossed onto it, and large padded shoulders. He has a long black cape. He is wearing a dark mask covering the top part of his face. He is holding a futuristic-looking gun in his left hand.) KARKUS: (Heavily accented.) You are my Prisoners. ZOE: It's the Karkus. DOCTOR: What? KARKUS: You will come out and put the hands above your head. (The Doctor and Zoe emerge from behind their cover and approach the Karkus, cautiously. Neither raises their hands. Zoe plays with the buttons on Jamie's jacket nervously. The Doctor merely holds his hands to his side.) ZOE: You know, He's fictional too. KARKUS: Obey, or I will fire. (Both the Doctor and Zoe raise there hands quickly. The Karkus approaches to stand a few feet away. We can see he is much taller than both the companions.) DOCTOR: What with that thing? What sort of weapon is that? ZOE: It's an anti-molecular ray disintegrator. DOCTOR: Rubbish. Such a weapon is scientifically impossible, it doesn't exist. (The weapons is suddenly gone from the Karkus' hand.) KARKUS: (In rage.) Ah. (The Doctor drops his hands.) DOCTOR: That seems to've taken care of that. KARKUS: I shall tear you limb from limb. (The Doctor and Zoe huddle together again.) ZOE: Oh Doctor, be careful. He could do it, you know. The Karkus has super-human strength. KARKUS: You will be minced meat. ZOE: Quickly, Doctor, say it, you know he's a fictional character. DOCTOR: But I don't. I've never heard of him. (The Karkus leaps at the Doctor, who ducks under his swinging arm.) DOCTOR: Oh Zoe, run! (The Doctor's momentum carries him forwards and he ends up behind Zoe.) DOCTOR: What are you doing? ZOE: Oh (The Karkus picks Zoe up by the waist and throws her out of the way. The Doctor holds his hands out defensively.) ZOE: (Alarmed.) Oh. DOCTOR: No, Please. I'm sure we can talk this over. (Zoe approaches the Karkus from behind, catches his right hand and throws him. She turns to the Doctor.) DOCTOR: Zoe ZOE: Lesson seventeen. (The Karkus stands up, pulls his cape off and angrily throws it away. He approaches Zoe. She backs off and takes a defensive stance.) DOCTOR: Be Careful. ZOE: Oh dear. (The Karkus approaches Zoe deliberately. He raises his right arm and brings it down with some force. Zoe blocks him, and twisting her body performs a hip throw on the giant man.) ZOE: Lesson thirty-two. (The Karkus rises again. He turns to face Zoe and draws back his arm to strike a blow. The Doctor grabs his hand but doesn't have the strength to hold him back. The doctor is thrown out of the way. The Karkus now rounds on the Doctor and begins to approach him. Zoe sneaks around the back of the Karkus and, as he is about to attack the Doctor, she kicks him in the backside. The Karkus rounds on her and delivers a swinging hay-maker, which she easily ducks under. The Karkus attacks Zoe again but once again misses, landing close to a panicked Doctor.) DOCTOR: Don't do anything rash. (The Karkus once more turns his attention to Zoe. He lunges, and is thrown once more. He rises and attacks again. Yet again, Zoe blocks his attack and throws him to the ground. The Karkus rises, but he is visibly swaying. His next lung is weak and he is thrown once more. Zoe rushes over to where he has fallen. She gets behind him, and as the Karkus half rises, she gets him in a neck hold. Zoe has her right arm across his wind pipe and her left across the back of his neck. She grimaces with effort.) KARKUS: (Begging.) Mercy. ZOE: You'd better submit you know. KARKUS: (In Pain.) Mercy. ZOE: (Partial obscured by Karkus' cries of pain.) Coming from Earth you can only take a certain amount of pressure. Do you submit. KARKUS: I submit. (Zoe smiles and releases her hold.) ZOE: That's better. (Both Zoe and the Karkus stand, and they are joined by the Doctor.) KARKUS: I am your slave. Command me. ZOE: (To Karkus.) Do you know the way to the Citadel. KARKUS: I know it. DOCTOR: (Raising one finger.) Well, well take us there, there's a good chap. (Zoe snaps her fingers.) KARKUS: (Bowing.) I obey. (The Karkus departs. Zoe again smiles. She is out of breath from her exertions and she remains behind with the Doctor.) ZOE: (Breathlessly.) We all followed his adventures in the strip sections of the hourly telepress. DOCTOR: The strip. Ah, oh. Oh. A strip cartoon of the year two thousand ZOE: You've been in the year two thousand haven't you? (They both turn to stare off in the direction that the Karkus went.) DOCTOR: Yes, but I hardly had time to follow the strip cartoons. ZOE: (Pointing.) Well you better start following this one, he's half way up that cliff you know. (She pulls the Doctor after her as she heads off.) [SCENE_BREAK] CITADEL EXTERIOR (We see a solid-looking wooden door with a small grille in the centre. The Grille provides a lookout point for the people inside the citadel. There is a hinged panel behind the grill which is closed. The door is contained in an arched entrance with a bell pull to the right.. The Karkus arrives at the doorway and stands to the right, his arm stiffly to his side. He is joined by the Doctor and Zoe. Zoe is unchanged; however, the Doctor has collected the Karkus' discarded cloak and is wearing it wrapped around his shoulders.) DOCTOR: Well thank you, thank you Mr... (To Zoe.) what did you say his name was? ZOE: K-A-R-K-U-S DOCTOR: Ah yes, Mr Karkus, thank you. ZOE: We won't be needing you any longer, run along. (Zoe snaps her fingers, and the Karkus bows. This once again brings a smile to Zoe's face.) KARKUS: I obey. (As the Karkus departs, Zoe lets out a brief sigh. The Doctor clears his throat.) DOCTOR: Come along. ZOE: We can't just ring the bell and ask to go in. DOCTOR: Well why not. It's the usual way. (The Doctor pulls at the bell cord and a bell rings softly.) ZOE: Oh. Are you sure this is a good idea. (The panel behind the grille slides open in two parts, revealing a black space beyond.) THE MASTER: (Mechanically.) State your name and attribution. (The Doctor pulls Zoe under his cloak, hiding her from view.) DOCTOR: (Mimicking Karkus.) I am Karkus. THE MASTER: And your attribution? (Zoe suddenly pops her head out from under the cloak.) ZOE: What's that? (The Doctor forces her head back down.) DOCTOR: (To Zoe.) Ssh. (To door panel.) Year two thousand, comic strip creation, the hourly telepress. THE MASTER: Authenticated, you may enter. (The door swings open automatically. The Doctor, still with Zoe wrapped under the cape, enters the Citadel. The door then swings closed with a creak and a solid bang.) [SCENE_BREAK] CASTLE INTERIOR (Jamie is standing by the sliding door which the White Robots used to leave the room. He is feeling around the panel, trying to see if there is a way to open the door. He finally gives up and turns to Gulliver, who is standing across the other end of the Machine room.) JAMIE: Come on now, you heard them given an order to look for me. Why do you suppose that happened? GULLIVER: I conjecture these were orders given by some person in authority. JAMIE: (Pointing at Gulliver.) The master? GULLIVER: It is possible. (Jamie walks over to join Gulliver.) JAMIE: Oh, now I'm getting somewhere. Now listen, if there aren't any robots, who do you think was carrying out those orders? I mean, who was I hiding from? GULLIVER: Why sir, the Yahoos. JAMIE: Who's the Yahoos? GULLIVER: A cursed race of inferior creatures. I've never beheld a more disagreeable an animal. JAMIE: Well I haven't seen any Yahoos. You haven't seen any robots. A fine pickle we're all in. (The Doctor and Zoe arrive at the alarmed archway.) ZOE: Jamie! DOCTOR: What happened? (Jamie holds up his hand in alarm, and rushes over to join them.) JAMIE: No! No! Stay where you are! (Jamie uses his arms to trace around the edge of the archway.) JAMIE: There's an electrical gadget round here somewhere which sets off an alarm gong. I walked through it, the gong went off and they set a gang of robots after me. ZOE: (To Jamie.) Robots. You mean the same ones we saw before. JAMIE: Aye, the big white ones, aye. ZOE: (To Doctor.) Oh Doctor, did you hear that. (The Doctor is bent over examining the archway.) DOCTOR: Yes, I thought they'd turn up sooner or later. Yes it's a simple photoelectric cell. We just... (He picks Zoe up in his arms.) DOCTOR: Better if I lift you over it. JAMIE: Be careful. (He throws Zoe across the threshold, clear of the alarm trigger.) DOCTOR: There you go. (The Doctor then leaps over himself, and begins to look around the room.) DOCTOR: Oh my word. (Zoe and Jamie hang back while the Doctor enters the machine area of the room. Zoe removes Jamie's jacket and hands it to him. He immediately puts it on.) ZOE: Oh Jamie, what happened to you when you left the tunnel? JAMIE: I got chased by one of those tin soldiers. Luckily, I climbed up the cliff - up here. Hey, the thing is - how do we get out? DOCTOR: I'm not going yet. I'm here on business. ZOE: (To Jamie.) No, the Doctor's made up his mind. He's going to see the Master. GULLIVER: (To Doctor.) This resolution may perhaps appear very bold and dangerous. ZOE: (To Doctor.) There you are, you see. DOCTOR: (To Gulliver.) Why do you say that? GULLIVER: I think you should not be here. The Master makes up the rules for the government of his Kingdom. It is unwise for you to disobey. ZOE: So you think we shouldn't try to see the Master. GULLIVER: If you would take my advice - swear a peace with the Master and his kingdom - find yourselves a place to lodge - stay quietly with the expectation that things would mend. DOCTOR: (Smiling.) Yes, well. I see. I'll think it over very carefully. (Gulliver bows low and heads towards the alarmed archway.) GULLIVER: Your Servant, Doctor. (He turns, removes his hat and bows to Zoe and Jamie.) GULLIVER: Your Servant. (Gulliver then leaves.) JAMIE: You're not really going to do as he says, are you? DOCTOR: No, of course not. I said I'd think it over. Well I have thought it over. We're staying on and fighting on. ZOE: We'll be fighting on in the dark. We don't know where the next attack will come from. Medusa was bad enough. JAMIE: Ah Medusa. I read about that on this machine here. (Jamie leads the Doctor and Zoe over to the teleprint machine.) JAMIE: Wee words keep coming out of it all the time. Look. (Jamie holds up the printout.) DOCTOR: Let's have a look. (The Doctor takes the print from Jamie. Jamie looks over his shoulder and point at a passage.) JAMIE: There. Look. DOCTOR: (Reading.) "Cancel, Doctor test report failure." Oh, I think I'm beginning to understand. JAMIE: Well, I wish I was. DOCTOR: Well, when someone writes about an incident after it's happened - that's history. JAMIE: Yes. DOCTOR: But, when the writing comes first - that's fiction. If we had fallen into the Master's trap, we would have become fiction. ZOE: Oh that's horrible. Come on. (Zoe starts to run across the room towards the alarmed archway.) DOCTOR: (Calling after her.) Zoe, where are you going? ZOE: Let's get out of here before it's too late. DOCTOR: Don't go... ZOE: (Over her shoulder.) It's alright DOCTOR: ...not through there. (Zoe runs through the archway and the alarm gong sounds.) JAMIE: Oh no. (Zoe hides in a corner by the door.) THE MASTER: Attention. Attention. There are still strangers at large. Renew the search. The strangers must be found. ZOE: (Shouting.) What are we going to do? JAMIE: (To Doctor.) That's funny - Gulliver walked through. DOCTOR: (To Jamie.) Gulliver's not real - we are. (Zoe rushes over to the Doctor and Jamie.) ZOE: They're coming. Where are we going to hide? DOCTOR: No need to hide. ZOE: Why not? If they find us...? DOCTOR: Let them find us. JAMIE: You mean, just stand here and wait? DOCTOR: Yes, why not? We'll ask for an interview with the Master. ZOE: They may not give us time to ask for anything. (Three White Robots enter via the alarmed archway and close in on the Doctor and his companions.) JAMIE: (Alarmed.) Look! DOCTOR: (To Robots.) Are you looking for us, by any chance? (The White Robots continue to advance, driving the three companions back towards the sliding door.) DOCTOR: (Nervously.) ...We... (Demandingly.) We demand an interview with the Master. (The door behind them slides open.) THE MASTER: (OOV.) How very fortunate. Do come in Doctor. I've been expecting you. (Zoe flinches.) THE MASTER: Oh don't be alarmed, won't you walk into my parlour. DOCTOR: Said the spider to the fly. Come on. (The Doctor leads them in. Jamie puts his arm protectively around Zoe and follows. The Doorway slides shut behind them.) [SCENE_BREAK] MASTER CONTROL ROOM (Initially we see little of the room. The Doctor and his companions are standing behind a two panelled sliding glass door. The Door has a hexagonal pattern on it, picked out of a metal frame.) JAMIE: Hard to see anything. DOCTOR: (Shouting.) Where are you? (We next see a vast glass globe. The globe is spinning. It contains a number tendrils and a central globe. As we pull back, we can see that the larger globe is in fact made up of a number of interlocking see-through panels. Finally, we reveal the Master himself. He is a man in late middle age. He is bearded but has no moustache. He is wearing half-rim glasses almost on the point of his nose. He is dressed in a dark jacket, with waistcoat, bat-wing collared shirt and a dark tie. He has a skull cap on his head with two cables clearly seen running from it. These cables run into a fixture at the base of the globe.) THE MASTER: Here - patiently waiting. (The glass door slides open and the companions cautiously enter. We see a White Robot standing to the right of the door. The Master is seated behind a large console with the panelled globe behind him. Beyond the spinning globe is a black background with stars. To the left of the Master's console is a device with many flashing lights.) THE MASTER: Oh Doctor, this is a great pleasure. And your two young companions. Now let me see... (The master picks up a folder.) THE MASTER: Oh yes, yes. Zoe and Jamie. I have your dossiers in front of me. ZOE: You appear to be very well organised. THE MASTER: Oh yes. We have to be. The running of this place requires enormous attention to detail. It's a responsible position, but very rewarding. DOCTOR: Responsible? Ah. To someone else. THE MASTER: Not to someone. Another power - higher than you could begin to imagine. I must congratulate you on the great skill in which you tackled the various stages of your examination. DOCTOR: What is the purpose of all these tests. THE MASTER: Well, do you know, when I was first brought here myself, I was as bewildered as you are. JAMIE: Well, how long have you been here? THE MASTER: I left England in the summer of nineteen twenty-six. (The Master removes his glasses and rubs the bridge of his nose.) THE MASTER: It was a very hot day, as I remember. I think I must have dozed off over my desk, and when I awoke... oh ho ho, but that is a long story. Did you ever hear of the Adventures of Jack Harkaway. DOCTOR: No, I can't say that I...Wait a minute, a serial in a boys' magazine. THE MASTER: The Ensign. DOCTOR: The Ensign. THE MASTER: And for 25 years, I delivered five thousand words every week. DOCTOR: You are a writer? ZOE: Twenty-five years, five thousand words a week. Well, that's well over half a million words. THE MASTER: Yes, yes. It was probably some kind of record. Anyway, that is why I was selected to work here. JAMIE: And you are the one that's in charge of all of this. THE MASTER: In a sense. Yes. DOCTOR: Or is all this in charge of you. THE MASTER: My brain is the source of the creative power which keeps this operation going. DOCTOR: I see. That means that you are virtually a prisoner. (Suddenly the interior workings of the globe begin to glow and a rising electronic sound forms. The Master appears distressed and puts his glasses back on.) THE MASTER: You must excuse me for a moment. (The Master pick up a pen and begins to write in a large book. We can see some hand-written notes already in the book.) JAMIE: (Aside to Doctor.) Come on Doctor, let's get out of here. ZOE: (Aside to Doctor.) Yes let's. It gives me the creeps. DOCTOR: No, I need to find out more. JAMIE: Ok, you keep him talking, and Zoe and me will find another way out. DOCTOR: Jamie, I think it will be safer If we all stick together. (The globe stops glowing and the Master returns his attention to the Doctor. He stands up.) THE MASTER: Oh I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. Now where were we? DOCTOR: You were about to answer my question. Are you a prisoner here? (Zoe and Jamie have how walked over to stand near the console.) THE MASTER: Well, no, no. I wouldn't say that. In fact I rather like being here. (Zoe and Jamie make there way slowly behind the globe machine and disappear from view.) THE MASTER: I have everything I could possibly want. This vast library with all the known works of fiction. All the masterpieces written by Earthmen since the beginning of time. [SCENE_BREAK] LIBRARY (Jamie and Zoe enter a large library. The walls are lined with books. We can see several tables covered in books and papers. Several shelves of books exist, forming a near maze.) ZOE: I don't think he noticed. JAMIE: No, let's try down there. (Jamie and Zoe set off in another direction.) [SCENE_BREAK] MASTER CONTROL ROOM (The master remains standing behind his console with the Doctor in front of him.) DOCTOR: I see, yes, and only an Earthman type creature has the power to create fiction. The power to imagine. THE MASTER: Exactly. This is the one field in which the intelligence I serve cannot compete. They need man. A man of boundless imagination, as a powerhouse. A lifeline, you might say. DOCTOR: What is this intelligence you serve, and why have you brought me here. (The master removes his glasses.) THE MASTER: Well as you can see I am no longer young, where as you Doctor are ageless. You exist outside the barriers of time and space. DOCTOR: And you want me... THE MASTER: To take over this unique situation. To take my place. DOCTOR: (Emphatically.) I refuse. (The globe begins to glow and the frantic sound begins again.) THE MASTER: (Mechanically.) Refusal is impossible. You are here to serve us. There is no alternative. [SCENE_BREAK] LIBRARY (Jamie and Zoe run back from another part of the Library.) ZOE: There's got to be a way out of here. JAMIE: There must be a door somewhere. (A White Robot enters from the right, initially unseen by the companions.) JAMIE: Look, if we're going to get the Doctor away... (Zoe spots the robot.) ZOE: (Pointing.) Jamie! (Zoe and Jamie head for an opening, but it is blocked by another advancing White Robot.) JAMIE: No (They try running in another direction, and this too is blocked by a White Robot.) JAMIE: back this way. (They take the only remaining route away.) [SCENE_BREAK] MASTER CONTROL ROOM (The machine to the left of the Master's console is now glowing and flashing. The Master remains seated, with the Doctor standing in front of the console.) THE MASTER: (Mechanically.) Resistance is useless. Submit your will for the sake of the greater good. It has been decided. DOCTOR: (Defiantly.) I refuse. I shall make that decision for myself. (Suddenly the mechanical noise from the globe stops.) THE MASTER: (Normal voice.) You will find there is only one decision open to you. (The mechanical noise resumes.) THE MASTER: (Mechanically.) Mission accomplished. Procedure as arranged. DOCTOR: What does that mean? THE MASTER: The latest chapter of the serial story. I'll read you the last sentence. (Reading from a book.) "Zoe and Jamie, attempting to escape, Bu..." ha ha... "in making it through the library they were ambushed by a sortie of guards and were overpowered." DOCTOR: Oh no, Zoe... Jamie... THE MASTER: Are you prepared to co-operate now. Your life in return for theirs. Is that a bargain. Look! (A monitor is mounted facing The Master's console. On it we can see the three White Robots attacking Jamie and Zoe.) [SCENE_BREAK] LIBRARY (The White Robots are attacking Zoe and Jamie. A wave is being emitted from a weapon mounted on their chest units. Zoe and Jamie reel from the assault. They hold there arms up defensively.) ZOE: Oh Jamie, My eyes. (The pair back away from the attackers.) JAMIE: I can't see, my eyes, quick, back, back away Zoe. (Jamie grabs Zoe's arm and pulls her.) JAMIE: Here, Quick. (He suddenly realises that they are trapped inside a giant book. A chapter heading 'Pris au piece' can be seen. One of the White Robots stands by the cover of the book.) JAMIE: No, it's a book - back out again. (A second White Robot takes position at the other cover and begins to close the book.) ZOE: Push. JAMIE: Push. It's closing. (Jamie and Zoe struggle against the Robots, but the book closes and they disappear from view. Fade to black.)

The Doctor, Jamie and Zoe reach the citadel at the centre of the land, where they finally encounter the Master of the Land of Fiction.

fd_The_Vampire_Diaries_06x03

fd_The_Vampire_Diaries_06x03_0

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Damon's gone! Alaric will compel away any memories I had of Damon and me being together. Tyler and Stefan are on board. Just take it away, please. Vampires can't get into Mystic Falls. They can lurk around the borders. Aah! No! Caroline compelled her to forget Elena attacked her. It's not a big deal. Matt: You're from Mystic Falls? One of the founding families actually. Any final words? [Screaming] Damon: Where the hell are we? Bonnie: 1994. We got here by magic. Magic should be able to get us out. Look who got 27 across. I didn't finish this. Well, neither did I. There's someone else here. Stefan didn't say good-bye. Damon and Bonnie died, and he just left. Let her go. [ IN SAVANNAH, GA ] ( Stefan drives up into his job, parks and walks into the garage. His boss is underneath the car and he's fixing it. ) Dean (Boss): Ain't a parking lot, kid. Stefan: Yeah, well I'm not here to work. Need a few days off. Dean: It looks like I need a new mechanic. ( Stefan pulls Dean from underneath the car. ) Stefan: I said, I need a few days off. Dean: Are you slow? Let me simplify: Stay, keep the job. Leave, lose it. ( Stefan yanks Dean up by his collar and then holds him above ground by his neck. ) Dean: How the hell are you so strong!? Stefan: You hired a vampire, next time do a background check. ( Stefan looks into his eyes, compelling him. ) Stefan: Now, shut up and don't move. (He sets his boss on the ground and Dean is still.) You have no idea how long I wanted to do that. See, I was trying to...get a fresh start, live a normal life, normal job, normal dick of a boss. That's you by the way, and this place was supposed to be my sanctuary. And it was until yesterday. (Stefan pulls Dean toward his car.): Come with me. (He opens the trunk, revealing a dead Ivy.): This is my girlfriend Ivy, someone killed her last night in front of me. So, now I have to go back home, last place on this earth I wanna be. Find him, and kill him. (He shuts the trunk and turns to Dean.): Like I said, I need a few days off. Dean (slowly): You should take a few days off. Stefan: Thanks buddy, I will. (He grabs the keys from his back pocket.) Now, I need you to drive my car into the woods, and you're going to bury my girlfriend. And forget this ever happened. Oh, and when I get back you're giving me a raise. [SCENE_BREAK] [ IN WHITMORE ] ( Caroline is staring at the graduation pic of Bonnie, Elena and Caroline all wearing red graduation clothes. And she sighs, heading over to the bed. Elena is walking into the room with a tray of two coffees. ) Elena: So I uh, volunteered at the hospital until like two. And then I figured we could carpool to the party at the swimming hole. (After setting the coffee down, Elena realizes Caroline is packing.) Um, normally when you move back in you unpack. Caroline: I'm not staying. Last night was just a momentary moment of weakness. Elena: Momentary moment? ( Caroline nods. ) Elena: Are you sure you don't want to come back to school? ( Caroline stares at her directly. ) Elena: Caroline, needing your friends isn't a weakness, momentary or otherwise. (Caroline shuts her suitcase.): Tell that to Stefan, who clearly needs no one. (Elena crosses her arms): Cut him some slack, he lost his brother. Granted, said brother was a homicidal maniac. But, still. ( Caroline is staring at Elena with sadness, and incredulously. ) Elena: What? Caroline: (shakes her head back into reality) Nothing, I just - I gotta go, I got breakfast with Enzo, so... Elena: (looking judgmental) Enzo? Caroline (surprised alone): Mm, hmm. Elena: You guys go on one road trip and all of a sudden you're breakfast buddies? Caroline: (giggles) Yeah, I guess so. Ironically, he's recently become one of the most stable people in my life. Elena: (looking skeptical & judgmental) Okay, then invite him to the party. Caroline (sighing, frustrated): Elena - Elena: Come on, I got Matt to take the afternoon of from his training and Tyler to give the practice squad a break, even Jeremy is coming. It's been forever since we've all been together, it'll be fun. ( Caroline opens her mouth, skeptical. ) Elena: (pointing her finger at her) Don't make me invoke the nuclear option. ( Caroline raises her eyebrows. ) Elena: Cause I will selfie bomb you. Every five minutes. Caroline: (laughs) Okay, fine I'll go to the party. Elena: Yay. (She picks up the tray of coffees.) Caroline: But I'm not moving back in. (She heads to the door.) Elena: That is a conversation to be had over jello shots. ( Caroline leaves and Elena drinks her coffee. ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ IN MYSTIC FALLS AND OUTSIDE ] Caroline (V.O. Matt): What did Alaric do to her? Matt: All I know is she doesn't remember what she saw in Damon and we're supposed to keep it that way. Caroline: (walking in a park with her coffee) I just spent the whole night with her, and it's weird. She just doesn't seem like her old self. Matt: (walking toward Tripp's car) Yeah, it's because she's happy isn't that the whole point? Caroline: Yeah, I guess. Matt: Look, I gotta go. I'll see you later. ( Matt looks and sees that Tripp and a friend named Jay are cleaning out the back of Tripp's car, it's red liquid coming up. ) Matt: It's a little early for a car wash. Tripp: Oh, yeah. I brought in some mulch so you guys could clean up that little park on 4th. Turns out red mulch stains. Who knew? Matt: My friends are having a party, and I'd like to go by this afternoon after lunch. Tripp: You need a permission slip? Matt: Oh, I don't know. Tripp: I'm not your Mom. Go. (Jay jumps out from inside the car with a mop in his hand.) And take Jay. Suckered him into washing my car. He needs some fun. Jay: You're driving, I'm drinking. Tripp: (flashing a concerned, suspicious look) Both of you, keep your eyes open. We've had a lot of animal attacks lately. Jay: He means...dog -bite girl. Matt: Yeah, I know what he means. ( They both walk off, leaving Tripp who sprays the hose at the open door of his car, blood comes away red. ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ THE SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE ] ( Jeremy is standing at the usual place Damon is, where the bourbon is. He's pouring himself a drink, and Sarah enters the room wringing out her hair. ) Sarah: That shower has four heads. Who's so dirty they need 4 heads? Jeremy: You'd be surprised. You want bourbon? (He looks back at the table, ready to give her a choice when he realizes it's just bourbon.) Or bourbon? (Sarah hops up onto the place where the bourbon is.): I hate bourbon, but I love this house. Can I just pretend that I found my dad and it's whoever lives here? Jeremy: Trust me, it's not. Sarah: Why not? My mom lived in Mystic Falls for years before she had me, somebody had to knock her up. Jeremy: You ever think about asking her? Sarah: Oh, good idea. Hurry, let's go to the cemetery. Jeremy: Gotcha, sorry. Sarah: (looking around) Who does live here anyway? Jeremy: (looks deeply at the bourbon) Two brothers, one moved, the other...is dead. (He takes a swig of the bourbon from the bottle.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ AT WHITMORE ] ( Liv and Luke are walking down the crowded corridors of Whitmore, Tyler runs up. ) Tyler: Hey, quick question. Liv: Quick answer, no. Tyler: Hilarious. We're having a party today, you think you could spare a keg or two from scull bar? You can come... ( They stop walking. ) Liv: (smacks her lips) You and alcohol and my brother. Why does that combination sound so familiar and terrible? (She turns to her brother.) How is your trachea Luke? Luke: In fairness, he apologized. Tyler: I'm working on this, okay? I watch my drinking, I avoid things that make me angry. Liv: Come by the bar after 1, I'll see what I can do. ( Tyler walks away with a smile. ) Luke: You're doing that thing again. Liv: (looks up) What thing? Luke: Oh the thing where you're a bitch because you like somebody. It's pretty transparent, I don't blame you, he's hot. (Luke walks off, leaving Liv smiling.) ( When Liv walks off, Liam is walking and Elena appears beside him. ) Elena: Hey cutebrag. Liam: Did you just call me 'cute brag'? Elena: Hey, I didn't come up with it. Another one of the volunteers did. ( Liam shakes his head. ) Elena: What? Sometimes, you brag. At least it has cute in it. Liam: Small favors. I'm Liam, you're Elena. See how easy it is to remember? Elena: Brag. ( Liam stops walking and stands in front of her. ) Liam: Is there something you wanted other than to destroy my self -esteem? Elena: (smiles) Actually, yes. Are you doing anything this afternoon? My friends are throwing a party just outside my hometown, and there's a girl that I actually want you to meet. ( Liam looks skeptical. ) Elena: Just come. Liam: Okay. ( He walks off, and Elena's smile fades when she sees that Stefan is standing there, he's smiling. ) Elena (surprised, caught off guard): Stefan? Wha - hey! (She hugs him and then pulls away.) Elena: Wha - for the record, four months is far too long for me to go without seeing you. Stefan: I know. That's why I'm here. I wanted to stop by and say hi. ( Elena giggles widely. ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ A SMALL STORE IN MYSTIC FALLS, OTHERWORLDLY ] ( Damon is leaning against a cart and Bonnie is beside him, they are strolling through the aisles of an deserted store, Bonnie and Damon are fighting over the cart handle. ) Damon: I got it - (Damon said stubbornly.) Bonnie: (sighs) Okay. (She picks up a small piece of paper.) We need strawberries. Damon: Mmhmm. Bonnie: Eggs, milk and - ooh candles. (She picks up one and sets it in the cart, Damon looks at her for a second.) Damon: I know it's been awhile, but you couldn't do magic as an anchor, so I'm curious what momentary lapse reason makes you think you can do it now? ( They turn the corner to another aisle. ) Bonnie: You know, when all this started, you sucked at making pancakes but now they're somewhat edible.(She shrugs.) Milk. ( Damon stops the cart, opens one of the many fridges and takes out a big carton of milk, he sets that in the cart. ) Bonnie: There's no reason to be Peter Pessimist. (She heads over to a rack of glasses and sets blue shades on her face with the tag dangling.) We have proof we're not alone. Damon: First of all. Don't nickname, that's my thing (He points to himself and strolls over to Bonnie with the cart, he snatches another pair of glasses from her) And this proof... (Damon sets the blue glasses on his face, so now they both are wearing it.) This mysteriously filled in crossword, could very easily have been you. Bonnie: (leans on the cart) I didn't. Fill. It. In. Damon: No. You don't know you filled it in. You also don't know that you talk in your sleep. Eggs. Bonnie: (opens the fridge beside them and grabs the eggs) What are you saying? Are you saying I sleep crossword? Damon: (takes the glasses off) I'm saying it makes more sense than the alternative. (He snatches the eggs and slams them in the cart, Bonnie takes off her glasses. ) Bonnie: I get what you're doing. Damon: What am I doing? Bonnie: You refuse to have hope that you'll see Elena again so you don't have to be disappointed. ( They turn the corner again. ) Damon (loudly): I refuse to have hope because there's nothing to hope for. Bonnie: (stops suddenly, pausing) Pork rinds. (Damon digs into the car and looks at the shopping index.): Damon: Not on the list and eww. Bonnie: No, day -mon -a, (she emphasizes his name.): There were pork rinds on this shelf, There have been pork rinds here on every shopping trip we've had for the past 4 months. ( Suddenly an electronic chime playing melody comes on. ) Bonnie: You hear that? ( She hurries out of the store. Damon follows, there is a small horse carousel outside the door, playing. ) Bonnie (satisfactory): Hmm, you hear that, Damon? (She sounds like she's proved her point and Damon still looks bewildered.): That's what hope sounds like. [ SCREEN GOES BLACK.] [SCENE_BREAK] [ AT WHITMORE ] Stefan: This hospital thing..Its a whole new look huh?? Elena: Yeahh..Apparantly this color( pointing to her t -shirt) disguises all bodily fluids that i get covered in throughout the day. So far its been only observation but i don't know..i love it there. Seeing sick people getting better..it's inspiring. Stefan: You seem different. Seem happier. Elena: And you? Are you happy?(Pauses) Caroline told me a little bit. Stefan: Ohh..About the dinner party from Hell. Elena: (laughing) Her exact words actually. In between the ranting she may have mentioned something about your new job and a new girlfriend (questioningly) Ivy right?? Is it Ivy? (Stefan looks down uncomfortably) Stefan it's fine.Seriously. It's not weird i promise. I'm just happy to finally see you again you know. ( Stefan nods understanding) It's been really rough. Losing Bonnie the last couple of months. ( She stops suddenly realising something) Which is an incredibly insensitive thing to say to somebody who just lost their brother.I'm..I'm sorry. Stefan: No i've been working on the healing thing too. I guess. Hey, by the way, have you heard from Caroline? She's not returning any of my calls and i..i really wanna apologize for the way i acted. Elena: Ohh she'll be there at the swimming hole today. You should come. Stefan: No..no I'm not sure i'm ready to dive back into all that. No pun intended. (Elena smiles) Elena: Stefan they're your friends too. C'mon. I know that we can't hang out at the Grill anymore. But that does'nt mean we can't all spend time together. C'mon please. If not for that then atleast to convince Caroline that Enzo is not new best friend replacement material. Stefan: Will Enzo be there? Elena: Yeah..but i can easily uninvite him. I'd rather you come. (Stefan cuts in) Stefan: No.No. Don't worry about it. (Thinks for a moment) Yeah. Maybe i'll stop by. Elena: Great. ( Elena looks happy ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ AT THE DINER OUTSIDE MYSTIC FALLS ] ( Caroline and Enzo are sitting at a table ) Caroline: Do you understand the rules? Enzo: Yea Rule 1, don't mention Elena was madly in love with Damon or you'll kill me. Caroline: (Nodding) Mmhmm. Enzo: Rule 2, don't really reference Damon at all or you'll kill me. Caroline: Yup. Enzo: Rule 3, wear sunscreen and ( Caroline cuts in) Caroline: Don't make fun of me. ( Enzo smiles a bit) It's important that we let Elena live her new, happy, problem ignoring, zombie life the way she wants. Enzo: A sentence that sounded oddly supportive and judgemental. Caroline: I support her. She did what she needed to do to stop chomping on innocent people on the road. It doesn't mean that i'm enjoying marinating all alone in my misery. Enzo: Well i'll marinate with you. Caroline: I appreciate it. Really i do. Enzo: But i'm not Stefan. Caroline: Rule no.4, Don't ever mention that jerk's name again or ( Enzo cuts in) Enzo: Or you'll kill me. Got it. ( Enzo gets up to leave. Caroline notices something on his shirt ) Caroline: Whoa..is that blood or pie? Please say pie. Enzo: Hmmm..(Dabs his finger with it and tasts it) That would be..Shirley..A special off the menu item. This little diner is surprisingly well stocked. ( Caroline gets up and stands in front of him ) Caroline: Tell me that you snatched, ate, erased. Enzo: Funny thing about that.You do the first two properly, the third isn't necessary. Caroline: You killed her? Enzo: Oh, don't act all shocked. Caroline: Well, I'm sorry, but death shocks me, and it also leads to a missing persons report, which leads to Enzo: Sheriff's investigation? I'm terrified. I already have three warnings. One more is a fine. ( Enzo leaves leaving Caroline disappointed and angry ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ OUTSIDE THE STORE IN MYSTIC FALLS, OTHERWORLDLY ] ( Damon opens the switch box of the horse carousel ) Damon: It's gotta be a short, faulty wiring, something. Bonnie: Or someone put a quarter in it and turned it on. Damon: You know i'm a little confused with all this misplaced hope. All right, Let's just say there's some one here. How do you know we're gonna get out? Bonnie: Well, you say that this is your hell right? If there's someone else here, that means it's not your hell, and if it's not your hell that means Grams put us here, and if Grams put us here there's a way out. Damon: That's a hell of a logic knot you've tied for yourself. Bonnie: Thank you. So now that we have properly placed our hope, let's play a game. When we get out, what's the first thing you're gonna tell Elena? Damon: (Thinks for a moment) Sorry i killed Bonnie. But she was the most annoying person in the world. (He starts walking towards the car park) She wouldn't shut up. She just kept talking.I mean, it's a wonder I made it as long as I did, but here's the thing, I think it's better this way because she didn't have magic, and she was pretty much useless. ( Bonnie notices something in the car park ) Bonnie: Damon. Damon: What?? Bonnie: I don't know, you still think i'm useless? (She points to the parking lot and the screen pans to show Damon's car in the parking lot) Damon: (Looks at the car and the number plate) That's my car. That's my car. [SCENE_BREAK] [ ELENA'S CAR, OUTSIDE OF MYSTIC FALLS ] ( Elena, Stefan and Liam are driving to the swimming hole ) Elena: She's determined but sweet, eternal optimist, never forgets a birthday. What else? Stefan: Never gives up on her friends. Elena: Yes. True. She's completely loyal. Liam: This is good. Build her up. I'm sure she'll live up to these ridiculously high expectations. Elena: That's another one. Great at surpassing expectations. Liam: So she's perfect. Elena: Totally. Stefan: Pretty much. Liam: So how long have you two been together? Elena: Us? No. I'm... we're... heh. We're not, but, I mean, we did at one point... Stefan: Not anymore. Liam: Was that recent? Because you two seem weirdly functional. Elena: Has it already been two years? Stefan: Time flies. [SCENE_BREAK] [ OUTSIDE BELL'S STORE, OTHERWORLDLY ] ( Damon is sitting in his car and Bonnie is standing close ) Damon: ( Pretending like he's driving the car) Vrrrmm, vrrrmm! Bonnie: How much longer are we gonna listen... Damon: Shh, shh, shh, shh. This sound is the opposite sound of your voice, and I so enjoy it. Bonnie: How did it even get here, Damon? Did you leave it here in 1994? Damon: I don't know, Bonnie. It was 18 years ago. Had a lot going on that day. Bonnie: Ok. So you admit that it's pretty unlikely that you did. Damon: Very unlikely. Bonnie: ( Probing Damon to admit she's right) Which would stand to reason.. that... Damon: Someone may have put it here, Bonnie. Yes, i admit that. ( Damon remembers the scene just before he crashes his car into Mystic Grill ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ IN THE FLASHBACK ] Elena: Damon Damon: I know. (Elena puts her hand over Damon's) [SCENE_BREAK] [ FLASHBACK ENDS ] Damon: I'm gonna tell Elena how much I love her. (Bonnie smiles) And then I'm gonna apologize for killing you. Bonnie: (Notices something behind) Wait. Did you just see that? ( Damon turns to see and this time both clearly notice a figure speeding behind a parked car. ) Damon: I did that time. Let's go meet our little friend. [SCENE_BREAK] [ AT THE SWIMMING HOLE ] Liam: So is a lake different from a swimmin' hole, or... Elena: Swimming hole. Thanks for making me sound like a redneck. Why? Where did you party in High School? Liam: Oh. Somebody's house or second house, whichever had the biggest pool. Huh. I guess I do brag. Elena: Yup. Now it's my turn to brag because I bet nobody at your pool parties could do this. ( She removes her clothes to reveal a bikini and goes to dive into the lake with the swing rope. Everyone cheer her on. ) Elena: (While swimming she notices Jeremy kissing Sarah in the lake) Ahem. Um, ahem. Jeremy? Sarah: Oh, my God. Jeremy: Elena. Elena: Sorry to interrupt what I'm sure was a heartfelt display of true love, but I'm Jeremy's sister, and we were about to have a nice little family chat. Sarah: That's why I'm an happy orphan. ( Sarah leaves from there) Elena: You invited the girl that I attacked? Jeremy: No. I brought the girl Caroline compelled to forget you attacked. She doesn't know anything. Elena: Jer, why would you even risk it? Jeremy: Because she looks good in a bikini. Can I go now? ( Near the swimming hole Jay is taking a drink and is checking out Sarah as she passes by him. Matt notices him ) Matt: Yeah. I may be driving, but if you puke in my truck, I'm gonna kill you. Jay: You know, dog bite girl's kind of hot. In, like, a trashy way, though. Matt: Why do you keep calling her that... dog bite girl? Jay: Because it's ridiculous. What kind of dog bites you in the neck. ( Tyler walks up behind them. ) Tyler: I don't know, man I've seen some pretty vicious dogs. Matt: What's up, Ty? Tyler: I just got a text from Elena. She wants to see us. Jay: Hold on. Are you telling me that you think a girl with two puncture wounds in her neck got bit by a dog? Tyler: I think if that's what she said then that's what happened. Jay: Then you're an idiot. Tyler: And you're a wasted douchebag. We all have faults. Jay: You want to say that a little louder? Matt: Jay, back off. Jay: No, no, no. I think you just called me a douchebag. I just want to make sure. ( Jay pushes Tyler and Matt comes in between) Matt: Whoa, Jay! Jay, what you're doing right now, definition of a douchebag. Jay: (Calms down and smiles) Heh. Simmer. I'm just playing. You guys want beers? Matt: Yeah. (Turns around to face Tyler) Sorry. [SCENE_BREAK] [ IN THE WOODS, NEAR THE SWIMMING HOLE ] ( Elena is trying Stefan's phone and it goes to voicemail ) Stefan: Hey. It's Stefan. Leave a message. Caroline: Yeah. Not answering is one of his new things. Elena: He said he was here to apologize. Caroline: Lying. Also one of his new things. Stefan has a lot of new things. ( Tyler and Matt come up to them ) Elena: Hey. Have you guys seen Stefan? Matt: I didn't even know he was back. Tyler: So you want to fill us in on what we're doing here? Elena: You don't remember this place? We used to sneak off here and get wasted while our parents were outside grilling. Granted, we all have a few less parents, but we can still have fun. ( She offers them Jello shots) Tyler: Actually, I can't. I'm working on my rage issues, and this wouldn't help. Matt: My buddy's wasted, and I've got to train in the morning, so... Elena: Ok. Well, I don't want to sound like an alcoholic, but I do want a shot, so will someone do one with me? Caroline ( Raises her hand) Done! ( Elena happily hands the shot to Caroline and they take it ) Elena: Bottoms up. Caroline: Mmm! Well... Here we are, having fun. I'm having fun. Aren't we having fun? This is really fun. Elena: (Realising that Caroline is being sarcastic)Ok. Clearly, this was a big mistake. I just wanted to spend one afternoon where we pretend for just one second like we're not all drifting apart. ( She goes and sits besides Caroline) Caroline: Well, that's the problem, Elena. Not all of us are ok with pretending. Some of us prefer to face our problems head -on. ( There is a weird moment of silence ) Tyler: I think we should go. Matt: Yeah. ( Matt and Tyler leave ) Elena: What's going on? Caroline: I'm just lonely, ok? And Bonnie's gone, Stefan's gone. Enzo... shocker...Terrible, murderous friend. Elena: I'm still here, Car. Caroline: Yeah. You're still here. (She gets up to leave) Elena: Here take another shot and...(She realizes Caroline has already walked away) Elena: Ok. Not so much. [SCENE_BREAK] [ OUTSIDE BELL'S STORE, OTHERWORLDLY ] Bonnie: It was behind the pickup. Damon: No. It was in the front. Bonnie: Are you sure? Damon: Yes. Absolutely I'm sure. It was right there. ( Both of them notice a tarp flying in the wind ) Damon: It was a tarp. We saw a tarp.( Suddenly the horse carousel turns on and music starts playing) And that... that is on a timer. That turned on by itself. Bonnie: But your car. Damon: I left it here in '94. Bonnie: And the crossword? Damon: You filled it out, Bonnie. Which means we're alone in my own hell with no Grams escape hatch. We're never getting out. Bonnie: (Frustrated) Give me your ring. Damon: What? Bonnie: Give me your ring. ( She takes his hand and tries to snatch it while Damon resists) All I've heard you say is that you have no hope and that this is your hell, so if it's so bad, why don't you just end it? (Damon pushes her back) Hope is the only thing keeping me going, Damon, so if you're really done, if you have none, then be done because this isn't helping. (She leaves from there) [SCENE_BREAK] [ INSIDE BELL'S STORE, OTHERWORLDLY ] ( Damon comes to the wine section of the store and picks up a bottle. He suddenly hears a sound near and keeps the bottle back. He goes ahead and sees a man lounged on a chair munching pork rinds. ) Kai: Rough day, huh, Damon? Sorry. Manners. I'm Kai. Nice to meet you. Pork rind? ( Damon just stares at him, weirdly shocked ) ( BLACK SCREEN ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ AT THE SWIMMING HOLE ] Elena: So you're sure you're ok to find your way back home? Sorry. My friend Caroline's having a bit of a crisis. It's been a rough couple of months for her. She's normally really sweet. Liam: Actually, I'm glad I didn't meet her because then it would have been awkward when I did this. (He kisses Elena. Elena is taken back but doesn't resist. Elena: Heh. Kissing a girl who's trying to set you up with her best friend? Red flag. Liam: Maybe. I have a sneaking suspicion that's your type. ( He walks away. Elena stands there confused at first but smiles later ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ IN THE WOODS, NEAR THE SWIMMING HOLE ] ( Enzo is carrying ice bags when he notices someone following him. He avoids a wood piece and it gets lodged in the ice bag tearing it. ) Enzo: That was Caroline's ice. Stefan: Yeah. Well, you'll be dead, so I think she'll let you off the hook. ( Enzo smashes the ice bag on Stefan's head. Stefan falls down but gets up again ) Enzo: I don't want to kill you, Stefan. (He takes out the wood stick from the ice bag and throws it at Jay who is standing behind Stefan with a gun. It stabs him in the neck.) ( Jay falls to the ground, dead ) Enzo: But it looks like he did. [SCENE_BREAK] [ THE SWIMMING HOLE, OUTSIDE MYSTIC FALLS ] ( Caroline walks up to the drinks table, opens the ice box and sees that it is empty ) Caroline: I thought I told Enzo to go get more ice. Girl: Did you do it in that tone? Because I think I know why he didn't. Caroline: Congratulations. Now it's your job. (She compels her) Go get ice. Jeremy: Aren't we supposed to be having fun? Caroline: Is that why you brought your latest fling in a series of sad attempts to pretend like you don't care about Bonnie...To have fun? ( Jeremy looks on a bit disturbed. Caroline gets a text from Enzo that says " we have a problem" ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ IN THE WOODS, OUTSIDE MYSTIC FALLS ] Enzo: Right. Cavalry's on their way, so why don't we put a pin in our little spat till this all gets sorted, eh? ( Stefan walks to where Jay's body lies, picks up his gun and points it at Enzo ) Stefan: No, thanks. Enzo: You've got to be bloody kidding me. I just saved your life. Stefan: So you can give me a lifetime full of misery. Well, that's fine. I'm just gonna shorten the lifetime. ( Caroline superspeeds in front of Stefan ) Caroline: Stefan. Enzo: Good news, Caroline. I thwarted a vampire hunter. Bad news... Stefan has become a vampire hunter. Caroline: What are you doing? Stefan: Why don't you ask him? ( Stefan leaves. Caroline turns around to face Enzo. ) Caroline: What did you do? [SCENE_BREAK] [ BELL'S STORE, MYSTIC FALLS, OTHERWORLDLY ] ( Kai is still sitting on the chair and munching on pork rinds and Damon is standing close, clearly irritated ) Damon: That is gonna have to stop. Kai: Oh, you think this is annoying? Hmm. Try listening to you and Bonnie bicker every 5 minutes. Damon: So you've been following us. Kai: Of course I have. You two are the closest thing I have a to a TV. I mean, you're no "Baywatch," but...Remember "Baywatch"? Damon: No, I do not. Kai: Oh. Oh, man, you got to watch it. You like lifeguards, like... Hot ones? Damon: This has been a monumentally bad day in a sea of bad days, so I'm gonna need to know who you are, what you're doing here, and how it relates to me, or I'm gonna rip your throat out. Kai: Temper's gonna get you in trouble, Damon. It's already driven Bonnie away how many times? Oh, oh, oh, wait. I know. 13. Damon: You think my temper's bad with her? I like her. You not so much. (Damon superspeeds and holds him up by his collar) Kai: Ok. Ok. Sorry. Seriously. I'm just kind of rusty on the face -to -face type human interactions. Damon: (Drops him down) Answers now. Kai: Maybe you should have a drink. That usually calms you down. Damon: Thanks. Kai: Then makes you angry, then sad, then calm again. It's a weird cycle, and look, if you really want to know the reason I'm following you, it's because I want to kill you. ( Damon has already taken a swig of the bourbon and suddenly coughs it out. His skin around the mouth starts burning. ) Kai: Vervain in your bourbon. Who didn't see that one coming? ( BLACK SCREEN ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ BELL'S STORE, MYSTIC FALLS, OTHERWORLDLY ] Kai: Who buys patio furniture from a grocery store? I mean, somebody must. Otherwise, it... it wouldn't be here, ( He picks up a beach umbrella and breaks it's wooden end into two) But now I'm a little unfamiliar with vampires, but from what I've gathered, a stake in the heart should do it, right? ( Damon forwards his hand but Kai stabs his hand ) Damon: Aah! Kai: You can always fight dirty, Damon. Like that time you and Bonnie played monopoly and you stole from the bank. Not cool. ( Damon manages to free his hand and stands up ) Damon: I'm gonna rip your head off. Kai: No. You're not. ( He smashes all the bottle on the shelf and the liquid from it burns Damon's skin and he falls to the floor again ) I didn't know which bottle you'd take, so I vervained them all. ( He raises his hand to stab Damon. ) Bonnie: Stay away from him. Kai: The useless one is here. Thank God. I've watched you try to do magic for months now. What are you gonna do, fail at me? It's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for you. ( Bonnie looks at Damon who looks back at her. She then looks a candle on a side shelf and it lights up. Damon is relieved while Bonnie is happily surprised. ) Kai: Uh -oh. Bonnie: Run. ( Damon superspeeds out of there ) Bonnie: Phesmatos Incendia. ( Fire lights up in front of Kai) Kai: Ok. Ok. Ok. Bonnie: Giving up so soon? I'm embarrassed for you. ( Damon knocks him off from behind ) Damon: Sorry I called you the most annoying person in the world. I hadn't met him yet. (Bonnie smiles) [SCENE_BREAK] [ IN THE WOODS, OUTSIDE MYSTIC FALLS ] ( Tyler and Matt are loading kegs onto the truck ) Tyler: Whoa. Was that always dented? Matt: What the hell does it matter? It's a keg. Tyler: Liv lent them to me man. Matt: Oh, is that when you lent Liv your manhood? Tyler: Just lift the damn thing. Enzo: (Walks up with Jay's body on his shoulder and puts it into the back of the truck) Actually, don't. I'm in desperate need of an empty truck bed. Tyler: Isn't this your friend Jay? Matt: What the hell did you do? Enzo: I avoided the stake he planned to fire at Stefan and me. Matt: Stake? Enzo: Ah. You didn't realize your friend was a vampire hunter? Well, you do now. Matt: No. No, no. That's not possible. Enzo: Yes, it is, and as much as I'd like to watch you process what I'm sure is a dreadful revelation, I need to bury the body. Tyler: (throws the trucks keys to Enzo.)Get out of here. ( In the woods, elsewhere, Caroline calls Stefan when she sees him but Stefan tries to avoid her. She superspeeds in front of him. ) Caroline: Stop, ok? I am sorry. I did not know about Ivy, but... Stefan: But what? What? I was fooling myself, I was using her as an escape? Yeah, I know what you think, Caroline. Caroline: Well, actually, I was gonna say, "but killing Enzo won't bring her back." Stefan: No, but it will stop him from reminding me of my brother. I kill him, I can leave this place, and I can start over again. Caroline: So that's why you left all those messages on my phone, promising apologies. That's why you visited Elena, that's why you came to this party, just to kill Enzo and start over? Stefan: Yep. Caroline: I don't believe you. I know that a part of you misses this place and these people, your friends. I know that being back here reminds you how much we need you, how much... I need you, but if I'm wrong, then go ahead. Just go. Start over, but, God, if I'm right, if just a little part of you came back to check on Elena, who's had an unbearable 4 months, or Alaric, who just came back from the dead, or me... If even just a small, little part of you came back to check on me... Then stay. ( Stefan waits for a moment but then leaves suddenly. Caroline starts crying. She sees Elena who has been observing everything from nearby and both look at each other sadly. Elena comes ahead and hugs Caroline as she continues to cry. ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ THE SWIMMING HOLE, OUTSIDE MYSTIC FALLS ] ( Jeremy is at the drinks table when the girl whom Caroline compelled before comes up ) Jeremy: Hey. Weren't you getting ice? Girl: I was till I realized how mean that girl was to me. Jeremy: How? Girl: Um, I have self -respect. It may have taken me till I was halfway to the sip and serve to realize it, but I have it. Jeremy: Wait. Halfway to the sip and serve? Where is that specifically? Girl: I don't know. Right around route 13 when you get into Mystic Falls. Sorry about your warm booze. ( Jeremy walks away realising something ) ( As he is walking he sees Caroline and Elena. ) Jeremy: Have you guys seen Sarah? Elena: No. Why? Jeremy: There's no ice. Elena: I think you'll live, Jer. Jeremy: Caroline compelled that girl to go get ice. She didn't. Caroline: Well, why not? Is she on vervain? Jeremy: No. She had to go into Mystic Falls to get it. She had to cross the border. Caroline: (Suddenly realising) Compulsion is magic. Jeremy: Which means that every memory you compelled away came back, so Sarah, the girl you attacked (looking at Elena)and you compelled (looking at Caroline)... Elena: Knows what I am. [SCENE_BREAK] [ SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE, MYSTIC FALLS, OTHERWORLDLY ] ( Kai is tied to a chair as he slowly regains consciousness. ) Damon: You're awake. Good. Now for the Q&A portion of the evening. Kai: Let me guess. I answer right, I get a pork rind. Wrong, I get a poker. Damon: What? No, no, no. These are for me. You just get the poker. Kai: Yeah. You don't have to do that. Damon: No? Kai: We're on the same team. Bonnie: Really? Do you always try and kill your teammates? Kai: The important thing is that you have your magic back. It worked.(Damon and Bonnie look at each other) What, you... you didn't really think I'd kill Damon, did you? Heh heh. In what universe does that make sense? Who would kill 1/3 of our population? I'm not a monster. I knew Bonnie would show up. She always comes back, all 13 times, and I knew with the right motivation she'd be able to access her magic, although I -I did get a little worried with all your bickering that Damon's life wouldn't be enough motivation,( Damon and Bonnie look on unamused) but turns out it was. I guess that's just how you two show your love. Bonnie: So you did all that just to make sure I would have my magic? Kai: Of course I did. Because your magic is the key to getting the hell out of here. ( Damon and Bonnie look on, clearly affected by the revelation. ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ IN THE WOODS, OUTSIDE MYSTIC FALLS ] Tyler: Maybe this is an isolated thing. Jay could be working alone. Matt: Yeah. Maybe Jay, who I've known since I was 10, somehow became a vampire hunter on his own. I'm such an idiot. I spent all summer training with a founding family member, thinking that he was only worried about protecting old ladies from getting mugged. ( Liv drives in with her truck. ) Liv: Because this is how I wanted to spend my saturday night. Load them up. What the hell happened to your truck anyway? Matt: It's a little complicated. Tyler: I got this, dude. I'll see you in a bit. ( Matt leaves while Tyler starts loading the kegs ) Liv: Sad jocks are kind oflike sad clowns, you know, they're pathetic but kind of hilarious. Tyler: Not in the mood, Liv. Liv: Uh -oh. That sounded like a threat. Tyler: No. Just a request. ( Liv uses magic to drop the standing keg ) Liv: Oops. ( Tyler turns around clearly irritated while Liv gives him an innocent expression. He turns back and tries to pick the keg but Liv uses magic again to make it roll further away. Tyler gets angry and corners Liv against her truck. ) Tyler: Is this what you want? You want to see my break? Liv: You're right. I'm sorry. It's just easier for me if you're an aggressive unlikable dick. Tyler: Why? Liv: So I don't have to worry about falling for you. ( They stare at each other for a moment. Liv pushes him away and leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ SALVATORE BOARDING HOUSE ] Jeremy (phoning Elena): I checked every room. Sarah is gone. And it looks like she trashed place. Elena: Okay, well, Caroline and I will go out and search her at the border then. Jeremy: I keep looking in town. I call you if I find anything. [SCENE_BREAK] [ WHITMORE ] ( Caroline enters the room. ) Caroline: So, I was just gonna leave my clothes here while we look, if that's okay. Elena: Yeah, of course. Caroline: I also was thinking that - you know - if there are vampire hunters on the loose then living alone right by there home base is probably not a good idea. Elena: Is this an official unpack? Because your moving methode is so confusing. Caroline: Yes, this is an official unpack. I'm sorry I got mad at you earlier. Sometimes iIt just seems like you have your secret way to move on. Is this ...? Elena: ... Bonnie's? Yeah. There we go. You just discovered my secret of moving on: Sometimes I don't. Caroline: I miss Bonnie, I miss Mystic Falls, I miss my old life. And I miss ... Elena: ... Stefan? Caroline: Yeah, I miss Stefan. Elena: Caroline, you and Stefan ... did you have feelings for him or something? Caroline: Yeah, I think maybe I did. Well, we should go ahead and find that girl before she outs us. [SCENE_BREAK] [ BAR ] Tripp: Rough night? Enzo: Ahh. Nothing a piece of pie can't fix. (snapping his fingers) Service! Would be lovely though. Tripp: My fault, sorry. I sent her home for the night. Can have you killing any more of the wait staff. (He injects Enzo vervain.) Consider being more discreet when you feed. You never know whose eyes are watching. Enzo: This normally works, doesn't it? Knocks vampires right out. See, I'm a bit different than a normal vampire. I can fight the vervain. Not for long, but ... (he heads in Tripp's direction and grabs him). I will have to take care of you. (Two stakes gore Enzo and he lets Tripp off. It was Stefan who attaked Enzo with the stakes.) Stefan: (Points at the weapon in his hand) Found this on one of your guys. I think he killed him though. Tripp: Who are you? Stefan: Stefan Salvatore. You and I have something in common. Tripp: One of the founding families. THank you. Acutally, if you don't mind - I have my own way I liked him to die. Stefan: (hands Tripp the weapon) Just make sure it's painfull. ( Stefan leaves. )

Still reeling from Enzo murdering his girlfriend Ivy, Stefan compels his boss at the auto repair shop to give him a few days off so that he can hunt him down. Meanwhile, Elena seems over the top ecstatic since Alaric compelled her to forget all of her Damon memories. Stefan appears at Whitmore College, surprising Elena, who has just invited Liam to the party at the swimming hole. In the parallel dimension, while Bonnie and Damon are discussing the mysterious crossword puzzle incident during grocery shopping, more strange things happen-food items missing from shelves; the merry-go-round is activated; Damon's car appears in the parking lot, all which lead Damon to discover someone named Kai. In the other world, Stefan attempts to confront Enzo, but Enzo thwarts him and kills a vampire hunter who had followed them into the woods. Kai reveals that he has been following Damon and Bonnie, right before he announces that he wants to kill Damon just as Damon takes a drink of bourbon laced with vervain. Bonnie saves Damon by regaining her magic, and she and Damon capture Kai, who later admits that he faked the attempted killing of Damon to motivate Bonnie to regain her magic. Jeremy's latest fling Sarah disappears. In a diner, Tripp Fell stabs Enzo with a syringe filled with vervain, which Enzo shakes off, right before Stefan stakes him.

fd_The_Big_Bang_Theory_06x21

fd_The_Big_Bang_Theory_06x21_0

Scene: The apartment. Sheldon: Oh, dear. Penny, have you been recording shows on our DVR again? Penny: No. Sheldon: Answer honestly. This is not a trial. That'll come later. Penny: Absolutely not. Help me out here, I can't afford another demerit. Leonard: Yeah. Uh, maybe we were hacked. You know, the Chinese have been hacking everything lately. Sheldon: Why would the Chinese make our DVR record Paul Blart: Mall Cop? Leonard: I don't know. It's a fat guy on a Segway. That's funny everywhere. Sheldon: I'm deleting it. Penny: Well, hang on. Maybe the Chinese haven't finished watching it yet. Leonard: You know, if you're trying to make space on the DVR, why don't you just get rid of some of the stuff you've already watched? Like, um, Alphas. Sheldon: No, that's the season two finale. That was quite the cliffhanger. I'm going to re-watch it before season three starts. Leonard: There is no season three. They cancelled that show. Sheldon: Well, they can't cancel it. It ended on a cliffhanger. Leonard: They did. Penny: Uh, Sheldon, there are two dumplings left. Do you want them? Sheldon: Dumplings? Don't you understand what's going on here? Penny: As a rule, no. Sheldon: That show ended with all the residents of New York either dead or unconscious. Oh, now I'll never know what happened. Penny: Well, why don't you make up your own ending? Sheldon: Oh, sure, what a wonderful idea. And after that, I'll make up my own rules of oral hygiene. You know, instead of flossing, I'll rub pudding on my gums. I'm going to get the number of the SyFy Channel and give them what for. Leonard: Oh, please, don't do that. Sheldon: No. They can't just cancel a show like Alphas. You know? They have to help the viewers let go. Firefly did a movie to wrap things up. Buffy the Vampire Slayer continued on as a comic book. Heroes gradually lowered the quality season by season till we were grateful it ended. Penny: I feel bad for whoever gets that phone call. Leonard: Ah, don't. If they didn't want to be yelled at by crazy nerds, they shouldn't have started a sci-fi channel. Credits sequence Scene: Raj's apartment. Howard: I think you're gonna be really happy with this security camera. The optics are great, it's got infrared technology, and there's even a backup battery when the power goes out. Raj: Whatever. I can see my little princess while I'm at work, right? Howard: Why can't you just watch p0rn like a regular guy? I need your laptop so I can configure the software. Raj: Wait, hold on. This is weird. Howard: What? Raj: I was Googling that girl I've been dating, and I found her blog. Howard: Cool. Anything juicy? Raj: She said she recently went on a date with a guy named Roger? And he's Indian? And he's an astrophysicist, too? Howard: You know what's going on, don't you? Raj: Yes, Mummy was right. American girls are sexually voracious devils. Howard: I can't believe I have to explain this. People change names on blogs to protect their privacy. Roger is Raj. Raj: Oh. I always thought, if I had a white name, it would be Gavin. Howard: Keep reading. What does it say? Raj: No, no, I don't know if I should. If she wanted me to know about her blog, she would've told me. It's almost like I'm reading her diary. Howard: It's exactly what it's like. Keep reading. Raj: No, this is creepy. Howard: Oh, I think we were looking at creepy in the rearview mirror when I put up that camera. Raj: It's not creepy. Don't listen to him. Oh, look who's got the sweetest kisses. Howard: Should I go? Scene: Penny's apartment. Leonard: With all the TV Sheldon was talking about, I had the greatest idea ever. It even blows away my idea for a Star Wars themed coffee shop called Brewbacca's. You need to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is the perfect show for the two of us. It's got action and jokes and hot vampires and romance. I cannot oversell this. What do you say? Penny: It's six thirty in the morning. Leonard: I thought you grew up on a farm. Scene: The apartment. Sheldon (on phone): Hello, SyFy Network? Yeah, this is your vice president of programming. Now, we have made a horrible mistake regarding Alphas. Yeah, we need to uncancel it immediately. Well, you just put me through to the people who handle that, you tell them it's me, and I don't want to answer a lot of questions about if I really am who I say I am, you know? I just. I want this done. No, I am not the person who just called. That man was clearly a cowboy. Yeah, who was plumb concerned about y'all cancelling his favourite show. Why do they keep hanging up on me? Amy: I'm sorry you're upset. You know, Sheldon, sometimes people seek the comfort of physical contact in moments like this. Sheldon: I am not flying back to Texas just so my mom can give me a hug. Amy: Okay. Well, what I think is going on here is you have a pathological need for closure. Sheldon: Oh, that's nonsense. I mean, you tell me stories about your day all the time. I don't care how they end. Amy: You know, I might be able to help you with this. There's a whole field of behavioural neuroscience that examines ways to retrain your neural pathways so stuff like this bothers you less. Sheldon: Yeah, but I just told you, I don't have a problem with closure. Amy: You sure about that? Sheldon: Oh, quite sure. (Amy starts a knocking sequence on the table. After staring at her a moment, Sheldon completes it.) That proves nothing. Scene: Raj's office. Howard: Ready to go to lunch? Raj: Do you think I'm feminine? Howard: Yeah. Let's go. Raj: Thanks a lot. Howard: What's going on? Raj: I broke down, and I read Lucy's blog, and in one of the entries she said, when we first met, I struck her as a little feminine. Howard: Just a little? That's great. Raj: I have to talk to her about this. Howard: Oh, geez, why do you girls always want to talk about things? Listen to me, if she's writing about your relationship, use it to your advantage. Rig the game. Raj: Well, that doesn't seem fair. Howard: Is it fair that girls like confident, normal guys more than nervous weirdos? Raj: No, it's not. I've always thought that was unfair. Howard: So take what's in that blog and use it to get her pants off. Raj: Why do you have to make everything so filthy? Why couldn't you just say the blog is like her giving me the key to her heart? Howard: The key to her heart. That's nice. Were you quoting someone or is it tattooed on the small of your back? Raj: I was quoting a man who knows a thing or two about women, Sir Elton John. Scene: Penny's apartment. Leonard: So, did you love it? Of course you loved it. How could you not love it? Tell me how much you loved it. Penny: It was cute. Leonard: Oh, don't say cute. That's the worst. Penny: What's wrong with cute? Leonard: It just makes things seem small. It diminishes them. Penny: So you want me to stop calling your little tushy cute? Leonard: You can try, but nobody's gonna believe you. I just, I don't understand how you can watch a show that great and not be excited by it. Penny: I liked it. I'm excited. Leonard: Well, then, tell your face. Penny: What do you want from me? Leonard: You know what? Never mind. We gave it a shot. Let's just see what else is on. Penny: Oh, come on, don't be like that. Leonard: Well... Penny: I'm sorry I called it cute. Let's watch another one. Leonard: Really? Penny: Yeah, it was fun. Kind of reminded me of my high school. But instead of vampires, we had meth heads. But both came out at night and had messed up teeth. Leonard: All right, cool. I think you'll like the next one better. All the cheerleaders are suffering from an evil curse. Penny: Oh. Well, that's like my high school, too. But instead of a curse, it was crabs. Scene: The apartment. Amy: I've come up with a series of exercises to help with your compulsive need for closure. Sheldon: I take issue with the word compulsive. Amy: All I'm saying is, we live in a world where closure isn't always an op... Sheldon: ...tion. Okay. For the sake of argument, let's say I have a problem. What would be your plan for addressing it? Amy: I'm going to recondition your brain so that the need for completion isn't so overwhelming. Sheldon: By playing tic-tac-toe? Amy: Yep. Your turn. Sheldon: Oh, Amy. And you wonder why people think neuroscience is nothing but a goofy game for diaper babies. Tic-tac-toe can only end in win, lose or draw, none of which will deny me closure. Especially since I'm about to win. (She wipes the board clean.) B-But we didn't finish. Amy: Exactly. How does that make you feel? Sheldon: The same way any normal person would. I feel like I want to peel off my own face and tear it in two and then again and again until I have a handful of Sheldon-face confetti. Amy: And that's exactly the feeling we want to address with this course of treatment. Sheldon: Or you could pitch in, grab a nostril and help me get this face off. Amy: Come on, you can do this. Sheldon: You don't know what it's like to feel completely frustrated. To have a desire build up within you and be denied any opportunity for release. Amy: Yeah, sounds like a drag. Scene: Penny's apartment. Penny: Okay, help me out here. Why does he love this show so much? Bernadette: Well, there was action, it was funny. I mean, you do get that usually the monster chases the pretty girl, but this time the pretty girl chases the monsters? Penny: Yippee, it's backwards. I get it. Bernadette: Why does this bother you so much? Penny: I don't know. It's just, he's so passionate about so many different things. I just don't get that way. Do you? Bernadette: Well, sure. I'm pretty passionate about science. I remember the first time I looked through a microscope and saw millions of tiny microorganisms. It was like a whole other universe. If I wanted to, I could wipe it out with my thumb like a god. Penny: See? I wish I had some of that fire in my life. I mean, I want to care about things and get excited like you guys. Bernadette: Well, there's no reason you can't. Penny: You think? Bernadette: Absolutely. All we need to do is spend a little time and find something you're passionate about. Penny: Ugh, that sounds like a lot of work. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene: Raj's apartment. Howard (on webcam): Hey, what's up? Raj: Uh, Lucy's coming over. I need some advice. Howard: However long you think the foreplay should be, triple it. Raj: Just tell me which one you think is more manly. This hockey jersey or this football jersey. Howard: I don't know. Go with hockey. Raj: Good, black is more slimming. Oh, that's her. I got to go be butch. Toodles. Hey. Lucy: Hi. Raj: Come in. Lucy: Oh, look how cute your little doggy is. Raj: Yeah, well, I wouldn't get too close. If I give the right command in German, she'll rip your face off. Scene: The apartment. Montage of scenes. 1. Amy (singing): O'er the land of the free, and the home of the... Next. 2. (Sheldon is laying out an intricate pattern of dominoes) Amy: That's quite an impressive layout, isn't it? Sheldon: Yes. Amy: Let's box it up. Sheldon: Let's box it up. 3. (Sheldon is turning the handle on a jack-in-the-box. Just before the end of the tune)Amy: That's enough. Sheldon, Sheldon, give it! 4. Amy: Okay, Sheldon, make a wish and blow out the candles. Oops, missed one. Now your wish can't come true. Sheldon: Lucky for you, 'cause I wished you were dead. Scene: Raj's apartment. Lucy: I like your jersey. Raj: Thanks. I love hockey. Lucy: Oh, cool. So does my dad. We watched it all the time growing up. Who's your favourite player? Raj: Not Brian Boitano, that's for sure. How's your burrito? Lucy: It's still a little frozen in the middle. Raj: Probably because I didn't read the instructions. No wrapper's going to tell me what to do. Unless his name is Jay-Z. Lucy: Is something going on? Raj: What do you mean? Lucy: Well, you're acting all weird, and I'm pretty weird, so I think I know what I'm talking about. Raj: I don't know. Maybe it's all those steroids I've been taking. Lucy: I think I'm gonna go. Thank you for the burrito and the pork rinds and the 20-minute lecture on why monster trucks are better than regular trucks. Raj: Wait, wait. I, I found your blog here you wrote about me. Lucy: Oh. I kind of just write that for myself. I didn't think anybody actually read it. Raj: No kidding. You didn't make it easy to find. I spent hours digging around online. For the record, you have excellent credit scores. And your diabetic aunt seems to be adjusting to her new leg just fine. Lucy: Why were you acting so strange tonight? Raj: You called me feminine. And I, I wanted you to think I was more manly. Lucy: Raj, I didn't say feminine was a bad thing. I meant that you're sweet and thoughtful and your skin looks so much like caramel, I just want to dip an apple in your face. Raj: I do have a pretty balls-to-the-wall moisturising regimen. Lucy: So, are you okay? Raj: Yeah. Lucy: Good. Do you even like hockey? Raj: No. Bought this at the Staples Center when I went to see Taylor Swift. Scene: Penny's apartment. Penny: So, I was thinking how excited you get about stuff like Buffy or science or which TV remote you and Sheldon should buy. Leonard: The Harmony One was fine. We didn't need to upgrade to the eleven hundred, which he knows is too big for my hand. Penny: See, that's the kind of passion I didn't think I had. But then I realized I'm passionate about you. Leonard: Oh, my cute little tushy strikes again. Penny: No, I'm serious. Look, I've always had these plans. I was gonna be in movies and live this glamorous life, and anything less than that just wasn't worth getting excited about. Leonard: Those things can still happen. Penny: Oh, obviously it's gonna happen. Yeah, a psychic at a bachelorette party told me so. Anyway, what I meant was, I shouldn't wait, you know? I've got you, I've got Sheldon, all these wonderful friends. My life is exciting right now. Leonard: That's a big deal. Penny: It is, isn't it? Leonard: So, does that mean we get to do stuff like talk about cool shows or get dressed up in matching costumes and go to Comic-Con? Penny: Leonard, I had an epiphany, not a stroke. Scene: The apartment. Sheldon: Amy, I must say, I was sceptical at first, but this has truly been a transformative evening. Amy: I'm a little surprised to hear you feeling so positive. Sheldon: Well, you're an excellent neuroscientist, you're a wonderful girlfriend, and... Amy: And? Sheldon: Doesn't matter, does it? Amy: I'm proud of you, Sheldon. (Exits.) Sheldon: And a complete sucker. (Montage of sccenes) 1. (Redraws tic-tac-toe board) Sheldon: Oh, yeah. 2. (Blows out all candles on the cake) 3. (Winds up jack-in-the-box until it pops out.) Sheldon: There he is. 4. Sheldon (singing): And the home of the brave. 5. (Knocks over first of intricate domino pattern) Sheldon: Don't stop. Yes, keep going. Just like that. Almost there, almost there. Uh-huh-huh! Penny: Sheldon, you big weirdo, I want you to know that I love that you're in my life. Sheldon: I love you, too. Scene: Later. Sheldon: Hello. Uh, is this the Bruce Miller who wrote the season finale of Alphas? Oh, smashing. Yeah, you already sound nicer than the last Bruce Miller who suggested I have sexual relations with myself. Now, down to business. Um, your show ended on a cliffhanger. Could you please tell me how you planned to resolve it? Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. I see. Well, that all stinks. No wonder you got cancelled. Bye.

Sheldon is upset when the SyFy television series Alphas is cancelled on a cliffhanger, and he unsuccessfully calls the SyFy network to get it back on air. Amy decides to teach him to overcome his "closure" obsession: she forcefully stops him finishing various tasks just before the end. He hides his fury and pretends to be cured, but once Amy leaves, he completes each task she interrupted. Sheldon later calls the creator of Alphas to ask him how the series would have ended; after hearing it described to him, Sheldon says that the proposed ending sucks and is now glad the show was cancelled. Meanwhile Leonard, hoping to find one common interest with Penny, asks her to watch Buffy The Vampire Slayer with him. She pretends to enjoy it to avoid hurting his feelings. Penny reveals to Bernadette that, unlike Leonard, she has no passions, but hopes to change this. During dinner with Leonard, she realizes she is passionate about him and his friends, even Sheldon. Elsewhere, Raj is upset that Lucy's blog post about their date describes him as "a little feminine". Howard confirms Raj is effeminate, but says this could be to his advantage with Lucy. Raj rejects his advice: when he cooks at home on a date with Lucy he tries to be more masculine, but just creeps her out. Just as she is about to walk out, he explains he read her blog. She says he is feminine in a "good way", being sweet, thoughtful, with a "skin like caramel".

fd_CSI__Crime_Scene_Investigation_03x06

fd_CSI__Crime_Scene_Investigation_03x06_0

[EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [EXT. LAS VEGAS PRISON (STOCK) - NIGHT] (The bright white guard light turns toward the camera.) FLASH TO WHITE: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT LAS VEGAS PRISON - NIGHT] (Guards strap the PRISONER in orange to his chair.) (Cut to: The wall clock reads: 11:58 p.m.) (Cut to: The guards strap The PRISONER'S legs to the table, uncuffs his hands and straps his arms down to the table. They cut his orange prison uniform and stick a needle in his arm. His cut shirt is pushed aside and electrodes are attached to his chest to monitor his hearbeat.) (The guards leave.) (The camera pans from the execution cell, through the observation mirror and down to the next room where six large syringes are laid out on the table in front of the warden and other officials.) (Cut to: The PRISONER is spread out on the table and strapped down so he can't move.) (The clock reads: 11:59:00.) (The PRISONER breathes rapidly. He looks to the side at the window where the curtain to the observation room is closed. The curtains open and behind the window are several rows of witnesses. The camera lingers on the man and woman sitting up front and center. The woman is startled at the sight in front of her and reaches for her husband's hand.) (The PRISONER sees them, then turns his head away. The woman clutches in her lap, a picture of a young woman, her daughter.) (The audience waits. The clock counts down with every passing second ... (Camera cuts to focus on the man's neck where his pulse beats rapidly just beneath his skin.) (Quick CGI POV to the blood flowing rapidly through his veins. Through his veins, where it comes out to his heart. We watch the heart beat for a moment. End of CGI POV. Resume to present.) (The man picks up the first syringe (#1) filled with a clear liquid. He uncaps the needle and injects the liquid into the IV tube.) (Quick CGI POV to: The liquid flows through the IV tubes, then through the man's veins where we see red blood cells ... and we see more red blood cells. End of CGI POV. Resume to present.) (Cut to: Camera close up of the PRISONER'S left eye where we see the pupil dilating.) (Quick CGI POV cut to the heart beating slower than before. End of CGI POV. Resume to present.) (Cut to: Camera close up of the man's face as his eyes start to close. His eye lids close.) (For a moment, there is silence in the execution room. There is silence in the observation room. The solid tone of the heart monitor flatlining is heard.) (A telephone rings cuts through the silence.) (The medic answers it.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT LAS VEGAS PRISON - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (The door to the Execution Room bursts open and life-resuscitating machines are wheeled into the room.) Medic: Let's go. We have a stay of execution. We've got thirty seconds to revive him. (Two medics and a physician works on reviving the condemned prisoner. The medics perform CPR while the physician injects something into the IV.) FLASH TO WHITE: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (GRISSOM is walking down the hallway while reading a file folder. CATHERINE catches up to him and fills him in. She hands him some papers.) Catherine: Grissom ... a stay. New evidence appeal: Hair analysis. I already over-nighted the six pubic hairs found on the victim to norfolk -- Department of Criminal Justice -- for mitochondrial DNA analysis. FLASH TO WHITE: (Close up of Mailing label to "MT DNA LAB / DEPARTMENT ... ". White flash to man pushing cart with SENDEX box stamped RUSH on it. White flash to man tossing the SENDEX box in the back of a truck. White flash to SENDEX box (stamped RUSH) on the mailing conveyer belt and the box being picked up by a pair of hands. Flash to white.) RESUME TO PRESENT: (CATHERINE and GRISSOM continue to walk through the hallway.) Catherine: Defense thinks DNA's a magic pill for exoneration. I doubt if it's going to change the outcome. (They turn and enter the office.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (GRISSOM walks into his office and heads for his desk. He hasn't said a word back to CATHERINE. CATHERINE steps into the office.) Catherine: (shakes her head) You don't know what I'm talking about. Grissom: Not really. (GRISSOM sits down at his desk.) Catherine: People v. John Mathers. Serial. Western LVU. I was a rookie ... Grissom: Three dead co-eds? Catherine: All sexually assaulted, but no semen was found. Suspected he wore a condom. Grissom: Dumped in garbage bags. Catherine: Case with the strongest evidence was victim number three: Charlene Roth. Mathers, a campus security guard got Murder One for that. Grissom: When are you going to get the test back? Catherine: I put a rush on it. (Flash to white. Camera view of the SENDEX box and label. A hand with a stamp stamps "RUSH" on it in red. Flash to white. Resume to present.) Grissom: Is this your first one? Catherine: First to exhaust all of his appeals and get an execution date. (CATHERINE sits down in the seat across GRISSOM'S desk.) Catherine: How many have you had? Grissom: Two. (GRISSOM goes back to the papers he's looking at and flips a page over.) Grissom: So, how do you feel about it? Catherine: Mathers was convicted and sent to death row by a jury of his peers. I played a small part. I presented my findings ... Grissom: Non-responsive. (GRISSOM interrupts CATHERINE. CATHERINE looks at GRISSOM.) Catherine: Okay. I haven't figured out how I feel yet. Grissom: It's just about evidence. It's not up to you whether he lives or dies. (GRISSOM flips the papers back over.) Grissom: Case has no face. HARD CUT TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS. [SCENE_BREAK] WHITE FLASH IN: [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. RESTON'S RESIDENCE -- NIGHT] (Camera close up of a man in a blood-stained shirt sitting on the side walk. He looks completely out of it. Police sirens are heard in the background.) Brass: Cops did a welfare check on this residence. A girl, 17, didn't show up for work and they found dad passed out on the sofa in a blood-soaked t-shirt. (BRASS, GRISSOM and SARA approach the man.) Grissom: Did he have anything to say about his daughter? Brass: Mr. Reston, uh, can't remember what day it is. Claims he was in a bar fight. Sara: "Pass" test? Brass: His blood alcohol level is .37. Grissom: Ooh ... alcoholic. Brass: Yeah. (GRISSOM walks away to leave it to SARA.) Sara: Lucky me. Grissom: Yeah. (SARA kneels down in front of the man and puts her case down. BRASS also kneels down and speaks to the man.) Brass: (loudly) Hey, buddy! This is Sara Sidle of the Las Vegas Crime Lab. She's going to ask you some questions. Sara: Sir, I need your shirt and I need to see your hands. Brass: Shirt and hands! [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RESTON'S RESIDENCE -- NIGHT] (GRISSOM looks around the living room. There are open containers, food and trash all over the place. The television is on. NICK walks in.) Grissom: Hey. Nick: Hey. (NICK looks around at the messy place. GRISSOM moves to stand next to NICK.) Nick: People are pigs. Grissom: Don't insult the pigs, Nick. They're actually very clean. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RESTON'S RESIDENCE - DEBBIE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (The door opens. GRISSOM and NICK walk into the daughter's bedroom. He turns on the light. The differences are immediately.) Grissom: And this would be the girl's room. Nick: Doesn't seem like the same house. (There are two dead bolt locks on the bedroom door.) Grissom: Dead bolts on her bedroom door. Nick: Trying to keep something out. Grissom: Hmm. (NICK snaps a picture of the locks. GRISSOM turns to look at the bedroom.) Grissom: A bedroom refrigerator? (He opens it to check out its contents.) Grissom: There's milk, fruit ... a toaster? Nick: Guess they weren't much on family dinners. (NICK snaps more pictures. GRISSOM checks out the closet.) Grissom: Nick? (GRISSOM holds up a hanger.) Nick: A gi and a black belt. Grissom: Trained in the art of self-defense. (GRISSOM puts it back. He looks inside the hamper and notices blood on the towel. NICK snaps pictures of it.) Nick: (takes the towel) I'll bag it. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB] (CATHERINE has photographs spread out all over the table. She holds a stack of photographs in her hands and looks through it.) (She flips the next photo over and looks at "PHOTO 2A", a picture of a girl's hand stained with paint.) (Quick flashback to: A MAN tying a WOMAN'S hands together. End of flashback. Resume to present.) (CATHERINE looks at another photo, a picture of a woman gagged, eyes open, and hands tied.) (Quick flashback to: A MAN tying a WOMAN'S hands together. She's gagged and her eyes are open. End of flashback. Resume to present.) (CATHERINE looks at another photo, a dead woman found wrapped in a garbage bag.) (Quick flashback to: A MAN tying the ends of the garbage bag together. End of flashback. Resume to present.) (WARRICK walks into the lab.) Brown: I heard Mathers had that I.V. In his arm and everything, when that call came in. Never had a death penalty case get that far. Just working it all out? Catherine: Yeah. Old case, new eyes, new technology. Warrick: This evidence was processed, what, fifteen years ago? Catherine: That was before DNA. Now that the case has been reopened I can re-evaluate all three murders. We always thought Mathers was good for the other two, but if they overturn Charlene Roth with the new DNA, we can go back and try Mathers with the other two murders with the new evidence. Warrick: Keep Mathers in prison. (WARRICK looks at the file. CATHERINE watches WARRICK for a moment ... wondering ... ) Catherine: You pro or con? Warrick: Pro, if he did it. The applications sucks, though. There's a lot of brown skin on that row. Catherine: Yeah. Warrick: What about you? Catherine: I try not to give it much thought. I stick to the work. Warrick: Really? Catherine: Campus police found the victim Charlene Roth in this trash bag. Warrick: The trash bag, yeah. I was looking at that. Processed with superglue, rhodamine, laser. No prints found though. (WARRICK opens the file again and looks at the report and photo of CHARLENE ROTH found dead in the trash bag.) Catherine: Who's working the print lab tonight? Warrick: Franco. Just off of days. (CATHERINE walks out of the lab carrying an evidence bag.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - STAIRWAY/HALLWAY - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (CATHERINE walks down the stairs to the print lab. She's carrying an evidence bag. GREG catches up to her. He walks with her.) Greg: Hey, I hear you're cheating on me with an out-of-state DNA analyst. Catherine: Apples and oranges, Greg. Fifteen-year-old hair samples no roots, room-temperature storage. Greg: Room temp? Catherine: Yeah, that's how we stored hair evidence back then. Microscopy was king. Greg: Really? I thought Elvis was king. Catherine: And you are how old? Greg: Age is irrelevant in our relationship. Catherine: Maybe so, but face it, Greg you just don't have the equipment. Greg: The government results won't give you an individual profile and you can't put them through CODIS. Catherine: Well, maternal lineage is good enough on this one. No one else on Mathers' mother's side is a suspect. So, if it's a match, the stay is lifted he's back in the chamber. If not, we're back in court. (CATHERINE walks away from GREG.) [SCENE_BREAK] LEGEND: DEPARTMENT OF CRIMINAL JUSTICE MITOCHONDRIAL DNA LAB NORFOLK, VIRGINIA (On the monitor, a technician pushes the lab door open and carries the SendEx package into the lab.) (Cut to: The technician puts the package on the desk.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - PRINT LAB - NIGHT] (CATHERINE walks into the lab. JACQUI FRANCO lifts her head and looks at CATHERINE.) Catherine: Jacqui ... I'm so glad you're back on nights. Got a good one for you. (CATHERINE puts the evidence package on the table. JACQUI turns it and reads the label.) Jacqui Franco: Trash bag? Yeah, love it. (She shakes her head and goes back to work.) Catherine: Give it some vacuum metal deposition. Jacqui Franco: Hottest thing going for plastic. If there's anything to be found, my machine'll find it. Catherine: And, um, super-rush. You're in a race with the federal lab. Jacqui Franco: Make my night; love to compete with the Feds. You and me need to catch up. How's Lindsey? Catherine: Second grade, tons of homework. Jacqui Franco: Lucky for her she got your smarts, not Eddie's. Catherine: Hmmph. Now I know why I missed you so much. So, page me as soon as you're done. Jacqui Franco: Mm-hmm. Putting you up first. You owe me a beer. Catherine: Yep. (CATHERINE walks out of the lab.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. RESTON'S RESIDENCE - BACKYARD -- NIGHT] (GRISSOM and NICK examine the backyard. They pass a bar-b-que and a shovel leaning against a log.) Grissom: Looks like somebody's been doing some digging. (In the back of the yard there is a tool shed. They head for the tool shed.) [INT. RESTON'S RESIDENCE - TOOL SHED - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (GRISSOM and NICK look around inside. NICK finds a gun on the shelf. He picks it up and looks at it.) Nick: Glock. Laser sight. Slide's missing. Mr. Reston was a bit of a garage tinkerer. Grissom: Great. Drunks with guns. (SARA enters the tool shed. She lingers by the door. GRISSOM picks up a gun case and opens it.) Sara: Hey. Nick: Hey. Grissom: M11-9. Empty box. Sara: He didn't have any kind of weapon on him. Nick: Okay, we're into it. Sara: I'm going to take Reston's shirt back to Greg. Nick: Mm-hm. Do me a favor? Sara: Yeah? Nick: Inside, bloody towel, bagged and tagged. Sara: You got it. Nick: Thanks. Sara: Woo. After this place, I need a shower. (SARA leaves. GRISSOM looks around. He gets up and turns to leave. He steps on a creaky floorboard. It's obvious that there's something there. GRISSOM and NICK roll away the blanket on the floor and remove the floorboard.) (Underneath there are over a dozen guns.) Nick: There's our M-11. 16-round magazine. Two remaining. One in the chamber. Modified to fully automatic. Grissom: Up to 14 rounds expended and unaccounted for. Nick: Missing girl's old man's got blood all over him. Blood in her room ... Grissom: I think it's time for dear old dad to go to detox. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. COFFEE SHOP -- NIGHT] (CATHERINE is inside the shop ordering a latte.) Catherine: (placing her order) I would like a vanilla ice soy blended latte, please. (A WOMAN approaches CATHERINE.) Sally Roth: Ms. Willows. Catherine: Yes? Sally Roth: Sally Roth. My husband Tom heard from a friend that you came here. Catherine: I'm sorry. Do I know you? Sally Roth: We're Charlene Roth's parents. Catherine: (sighs) Mr. and Mrs. Roth. I'm sorry. I didn't recognize you. Sally Roth: We were just wondering if you had any news. Catherine: You know any news has to go through the attorney general's office. I can't divulge any information on an open case. Sally Roth: He-he was convicted. It is not an open case to us. Catherine: I was confident at trial. I'm still confident. The evidence is solid. Sally Roth: If the court overturns the convic ... Tom Roth: We just can't go through another trial. (CATHERINE'S phone rings.) Catherine: Uh, well, you will have an answer very soon. I'm sure of it. (CATHERINE looks at her phone.) Excuse me. I need to go. (CATHERINE walks away.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. UNIVERSITY - LIBRARY -- NIGHT] (CATHERINE walks up to SGT. O'RILEY. He meets her and they walk to the body.) Catherine: What's going on? I'm not on call. Sgt. O'Riley: I know. I called you because your name's on the memo. Catherine: Which memo? Sgt. O'Riley: Young female, bound, trash bag. Copycats come out of the woodwork every time there's an execution. Catherine: Mather's attorney is going to have a field day. O'Riley: Come on, Cath. Everybody liked Mathers for the Kent and Reese cases but the DA wouldn't file because he already had a slam dunk with Charlene Roth. How many times can you fry a guy? (CATHERINE looks at the garbage bag.) Catherine: (softly) Right. O'Riley: Maintenance guy thought it was trash. Picked it up, broke open. Catherine: Body dump. Just like 15 years ago. (Quick flashback to: Photograph of the body in a garbage bag. End of flashback. Resume to present.) (CATHERINE leans in and looks at the girl in the garbage bag, her hands bound and stained.) (Quick flash to photograph of the old case in the garbage bag. Resume to present.) (Camera holds on CATHERINE.) HARD CUT TO BLACK. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. UNIVERSITY - LIBRARY -- NIGHT] (CATHERINE takes photographs of the body.) (Flash to: Photographs from the old case where the body is in the garbage bag.) [SCENE_BREAK] LEGEND: DEPARTMENT OF CRIMINAL JUSTICE MITOCHONDRIAL DNA LAB NORFOLK, VIRGINIA (A piece of hair is removed from the evidence envelope.) (The information on the Crime Scene Search Evidence Report is: ) [Name of Subject: Mathers, John Date of Incident: 3-3-87 Time 23:47 PM Search Officer: C. Willows Evidence Description: Six Crime Scene Hairs ] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. UNIVERSITY - LIBRARY -- NIGHT] (CATHERINE takes photos of the girl's tied hands.) (Flash to: Photographs of the old case where the girls' hands are tied.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. FEDERAL LAB - CONTINUOUS] (The hair is removed from the machine and put in a tube. The technician works in his lab.) (Camera zooms to a close up of the hair. Camera zooms even closer to the cells in the hair.) (Quick CGI POV to: Camera zooms closer to a single cell. Camera zooms to the DNA chain in the cell. End of CGI POV.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. UNIVERSITY - LIBRARY -- NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (CATHERINE works on the body.) David Phillips: (o.s.) You ready for me? Catherine: Not yet. (CATHERINE takes a forceps out of her kit. She shows it to DAVID PHILLIPS and asks permission to remove something from the body.) Catherine: May I? David Phillips: Sure. (CATHERINE pulls something out of the girl's hair. She holds it up for DAVID to look at.) Catherine: What do you think this is? David Phillips: That's Grissom's bailiwick, not mine. Catherine: That's what I was thinking -- bug. (Camera zooms in to show a bug.) (WARRICK approaches the body and puts his kit down. He leans in to look at what CATHERINE picked up.) Warrick: What you got? Catherine: Two-fer. Looks like some kind of a bug casing and black fibers. (Camera zooms in to the bug and shows the fiber on the bug's back.) Catherine: She's all yours, David. (CATHERINE takes a bindle and puts the bug in it. DAVID stands up and starts to instruct his group.) David Phillips: Ok guys, we're clear. Catherine: (to WARRICK) How come I get you? Warrick: Grissom says it's precautionary in case Mathers gets overturned and you get swamped. Catherine: (nods) I'm glad to have the help. (WARRICK shines his flashlight on the body.) Warrick: This looks familiar. Catherine: A little too familiar. Let's figure out how she got here. Warrick: Yeah. (CATHERINE and WARRICK get to work as the Coroner's Office puts the body on a gurney.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. RESTON'S RESIDENCE - DAY] (GRISSOM is cataloging the firearms found on the property. NICK is with a machine running it over the ground, looking for a body.) (The machine beeps steadily. As he gets closer to something under the dirt, the beeping picks up.) Nick: Hey, Griss ... found a density change. The screen's showing something. (GRISSOM stands up and approaches NICK.) Grissom: What's your depth estimate? Nick: Two and a half feet. Grissom: Oh, dear. Shovels and screens, chutes and ladders. Nick: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- DAY] (DOC ROBBINS and DAVID PHILLIPS are going to work on the body in the garbage bag. ROBBINS cuts the garbage bag away from the body. DAVID PHILLIPS assists.) (They remove the bag.) Robbins: A little more. There we go. (DAVID picks up a camera and starts taking pictures.) Robbins: She's in rigor. At least 12 hours. (DAVID cuts the bindings on the body's wrists. ROBBINS removes the bindings.) Robbins: Get out your ten card and print her. But look out for this blue paint. Catherine's going to need to see it. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. RESTON'S RESIDENCE - DAY] (After escavating the body buried in the backyard, GRISSOM and NICK kneel next to the site.) Nick: Well, we got something else to hold Reston on: Illegal burial of a domestic animal. Grissom: Weak. Nick: I'll cover him back up. Grissom: So Debbie Reston never showed up at work and she's not buried in the backyard. Where did Debbie go? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT -- INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY] (BRASS questions MR. RESTON.) Reston: I don't know her schedule. She works, goes to school. I hardly ever see her. Brass: She's 17. She lives in your house. You're going to have to do better than that. Reston: Stuck-up bitch is ashamed of me. Can't wait to graduate high school and move out. She's already got a job: Coffee shop. Got a car. Brass: What kind of car? Reston: VW convertible, blue. Brass: And as a concerned parent, you're going to ask me to put out a broadcast, aren't you? [OBSERVATION ROOM] (GRISSOM watches the interview from the observation room.) Reston: Whatever. Brass: Is the car in her name or yours? I'm going to need the license plate number. You listening to me? (SARA walks in.) Sara: I just left Greg in DNA. Blood on Reston's shirt is his own. Grissom: Blood on the towel? Sara: Eight markers match family member. There's only two people in the house. It's probably Debbie's but there isn't that much blood on the towel. Grissom: So what? Innocuous injury? Sara: That's what I'm thinking. Reston: You got kids? They think it's all about them. Like I owe her. [INTERROGATION ROOM] Brass: Well, you owe your daughter more than being a drunk. You know, I think that maybe jail might be the best thing for you right now. Reston: I think she just took off ... like her mother. [OBSERVATION ROOM] Sara: Can you believe this guy? I wouldn't blame his kid if she just took off. (GRISSOM doesn't say anything. He just nods his head slightly.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (GRISSOM and SARA walk through the hallway. SGT. O'RILEY catches up with them.) Sgt. O'Riley: Hey. Catherine and I got a case at the university -- dead female. Prints just came back. Matches your missing girl, Debbie Reston. Grissom: Brass just put a broadcast out on her car. Sgt. O'Riley: Then my guys will find it. They're posting her now. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- FORENSIC AUTOPSY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (DEBBIE RESTON is on the table. GRISSOM walks into the autopsy room.) Robbins: Crazy world out there. Grissom: Sorry I'm late. So, where are we? Catherine: Debbie Reston, 17. She was taking a night class at Western LVU. Pre-req for early admission. Grissom: So technically she was a Western LVU student. Catherine: Yep. Just like Mathers' other victims. Robbins: Thought Mathers was on death row. Catherine: Mm-hmm. Doc, you were here back then. Tell me why this one's different. Robbins: Suspect must be intimately familiar with the minutiae of the prior cases. What's identical: Cause of Death-- strangulation. Bruising on her wrists plastic zip tie, navy-blue paint. There is one new element: Defensive wounds on the hands. Whatever she grabbed onto shattered and caused these lacerations. Grissom: Is that before or after she got the paint on her hands? Robbins: After. One of these cuts sliced right through the paint. (ROBBINS picks up a piece of glass from the cut on DEBBIE RESTON'S palm. He holds it up. Camera zooms in for a close up of the glass. The glass has blue paint on it. Resume to present.) Robbins: The paint was there first. (GRISSOM reaches out and touches the paint on the palm of her hand.) Grissom: It's still wet. Catherine: So she's been dead at least 12 hours, right? Robbins: Right. Grissom: What kind of paint doesn't dry in 12 hours, I wonder. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. FEDERAL LAB] LEDGEND: DEPARTMENT OF CRIMINAL JUSTICE MITOCHONDRIAL DNA LAB NORFOLK, VIRGINIA (The technician continues to process the DNA sample.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LOUNGE/HALLWAY - DAY] (The lawyer for the defense, MS. CAMPBELL, approaches CATHERINE in the lounge.) Ms. Campbell: Ms. Willows. I heard you're investigating the murder at Western LVU. Female, young, bound dumped in a trash bag. (CATHERINE clears her throat and closes the file she's reading.) Catherine: You know that I can't confirm or deny any information regarding an active investigation. Excuse me. (CATHERINE stands up and heads out of the lounge. MS. CAMPBELL follows CATHERINE down the hallway.) Ms. Campbell: Ms. Willows, my client's life is on the line here. We've always maintained John Mathers' innocence. Catherine: Ms. Campbell, I have no personal opinion about your client. I tested the evidence in his case and that evidence failed to exonerate him. Ms. Campbell: Fifteen years ago. Before DNA. Before the real killer struck again. You are going to test the pubic hair sent to the federal lab against the new suspect ... Catherine: What suspect? I can't help you. Ms. Campbell: (accusing) You CSIs are biased for the prosecution. You decide ahead of time how you want the evidence to come out. Catherine: Ms. Campbell, I am only an interpreter of the evidence. I know how to make the evidence speak to me. I don't care about the outcome. Ms. Campbell: How about guilt or innocence? John was 15 seconds from execution. Sure you're not biased? I hear the same evidence speaking. You know what it's telling me? The killer's still out there. (MS. CAMPBELL leaves CATHERINE standing in the hallway.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. UNIVERSITY -- DAY] (SARA and WARRICK gather evidence from a blue VW convertible.) Sara: It's Debbie Reston's car. Looks like you and I are officially running with the same case. Warrick: Yeah? It's got to be the cleanest tape lift I've ever seen. There's no stains of any kind in this car. (DET. O'RILEY walks toward SARA. He's reading a piece of paper.) Sara: Whatever happened to her happened after she left her car. Sgt. O'Riley: Debbie Reston was taking economics 101. 6:00 to 8:00 P.M. Never missed a class before last night. Warrick: Well, this is my alma mater. Econ 101-- that's Sabian Hall. It's a long walk from here but I know the way. (SGT. O'RILEY'S pager beeps.) Sgt. O'Riley: I'll have to catch up with you. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. UNIVERSITY - BACK PASS - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (WARRICK and SARA walk the back path to Sabian Hall. WARRICK trips and grabs the blue metal rail with his hand.) Warrick: Damn. It's still wet. (WARRICK looks at the blue paint stain in the middle of his palm. He looks around and notices the water fountain off the path.) Warrick: What's the first thing you'd do if you got paint on your hands? (Quick flashback to: DEBBIE RESTON trips on the path and grabs the blue metal rail. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Sara: Wash it off. (Quick flashback to: DEBBIE RESTON looking down at the paint on her hand. End of flashback. Resume to present.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. UNIVERSITY - BACK PASS -- DAY] (GRISSOM stands in front of the water fountain. He looks up and sees the lamp without a light bulb in it.) Grissom: We found glass in the lacerations on her right hand. (WARRICK kneels down and finds something on the ground. He picks it up.) Warrick: I'll see if I can get a match from this. Sara: He painted the railing and just waited by the water fountain. Victim was like a fly in a spiderweb. (Quick flashback to: DEBBIE RESTON in front of the water fountain trying to wash the paint stain off of her hand. In the bushes, someone wearing glasses is watching her. DEBBIE RESTON turns her head and looks directly at the man in the bushes. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: We just learned something we didn't know about the prior murders. Catherine: Yes, what the paint was all about. Grissom: And if we just learned about it now, how did the copycat killer know? [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. UNIVERSITY - BACK PASS -- DAY] (SARA examines the metal rail.) Sara: Looks like Debbie isn't the only one who got paint on her hands. (Camera close up of the different prints on the rail.) (GRISSOM takes a swab sample of the paint.) Grissom: Well, maybe he was waiting till he saw the girl he wanted. (He turns his head and looks at SARA. She looks up at him.) Sara: That's creepy. (Quick flashback to: A blonde-haired student using the water fountain to wash her hands. Cut to: The blonde-haired student slinging her backpack over her shoulder and walking away. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Sara: I'll call the fire department, get a circular saw. Take this back to the lab. [WATER FOUNTAIN] (In the bushes next to the water fountain, WARRICK finds something.) Warrick: I've got a backpack. Wallet ... Debbie Reston. Credit cards ... money, keys. (Kneeling in front of the tree, CATHERINE is examining the bugs on the tree surface.) Catherine: Not what he was looking for. (Camera zooms in to a particular bug on the bark of the tree. It's the same kind of bug that CATHERINE took off of DEBBIE RESTON'S hair the night she examined the body.) Grissom: What are you doing? Catherine: I found pieces of this in the victim's hair. What's it look like to you? Grissom: Hmm, what does it sound like? (pause) With the exception of the termite queen, the cicada is the longest-living insect. Spends seventeen years dormant underground and then the cicada nymph emerges and sheds its skin. (Quick CGI POV of a cicada crawling out of a hole in the ground and up the tree. It sheds its skin and grows wings, hardens, then flies away. End of CGI POV. Resume to present.) Grissom: As adults they flit around for about five weeks of activity in the hot sun and then they die. Catherine: They spend their whole lives waiting for the end. Grissom: Not unlike death row. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. FEDERAL LAB] LEGEND: DEPARTMENT OF CRIMINAL JUSTICE MITOCHONDRIAL DNA LAB NORFOLK, VIRGINIA (The machines comes to a whirring stop. The sample is removed.) (It's put into another machine that maps out the DNA chains.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. UNIVERSITY - BACK PASS - DAY] Warrick: This is the spot. You can see the path and the rail. (WARRICK stands in the spot that the attacker positioned himself in.) Grissom: Well, and if she was trying to clean off her right hand in this fountain she would have had to be in this position. (GRISSOM uses the fountain to wash his right hand, simulating the victim, with his back to WARRICK still in the bushes.) Warrick: And he waited till her back was turned ... and came up behind her. (WARRICK steps out of the bushes and taps GRISSOM on the shoulder.) Catherine: I found some more glass. (CATHERINE picks up a piece of glass. Camera zooms in.) Looks polarized. (GRISSOM looks up.) Grissom: Well, lightbulb glass isn't polarized. Eyeglasses are. Catherine: Yeah. Grissom: You know, she was a black belt. Maybe she fought back. Warrick: That would explain why she had defensive wounds and none of the other victims did. (Quick flashback to: DEBBIE RESTON washes her hands. The attacker comes up behind her. She fights back. She breaks his glasses. End of flashback. Resume to present.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] SCENE #32 [INT. CSI - PRINT LAB -- NIGHT] Jacqui Franco: Sorry about the "no print" results on the Mathers' case. Catherine: Make it up to me. I got a new case. New bag. (CATHERINE hands the evidence bag to JACQUI FRANCO. JACQUI opens it up and takes out the garbage bag. She opens the fume machine and puts the bag in it.) (She closes the door to the machine.) (Quick CGI POV: The camera moves through the window of the machine and shows the particles inside being disbursed onto the garbage bag and adhering to the prints on the bag. End of CGI POV. Resume to present.) (JACQUI opens the machine door. and removes the bag. She lays the bag out on the table. They definitely find something.) Jacqui Franco: It's only partial but I've got a hit off less. Catherine: Great. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] Sara: Hey, you know that black fiber that Catherine pulled from Debbie Reston's hair? (SARA looks at the fiber in her scope. NICK lifts his head from his scope to look at SARA.) Nick: Yeah. Sara: It's trilobal. Nick: Vehicle upholstery. Warrick: It's not from her car. Her upholstery is red. Sara: That's good for us. She was killed at the water fountain but the body was dumped at the library. Nick: You can't carry a body in plain sight on campus even in at night. Sara: Odds are decent we're looking at a fiber from the killer's vehicle. (SARA runs the sample through the database and returns a list of possibles.) Sara: Generic chevy. Nick: (smiling) Well, that kind of narrows it down. (Camera view: Scope view of the glass sample WARRICK'S looking at.) Warrick: The glass on the left is not polarized. There's not color change. Nick: What, from the busted security light? Warrick: Yeah, the one found in the path. Not the one found in her hand. Nick: Okay, the guy broke the bulb on purpose. Sara: Gives him an advantage -- cover of darkness. Warrick: I'll buy that, but the glass on the right was the one extracted from the cuts on her hand. And it matches the glass that Catherine found near the water fountain. Sara: Confirms that Debbie fought with her attacker. Nick: Suspect's minus one point two five. Warrick: What is that, 20/80? That's like half of mine. It's not much of a correction. Sara: Great. We're looking for a guy with a 20/80 prescription who drives a Chevy with black interior. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY] (CATHERINE walks rapidly through the hallway. GREG runs out of his lab to catch her.) Greg: Hey. Got your report from the Feds. Catherine: Why did it come to you? Greg: Because they returned the DNA evidence to me. I took a look at the results. Didn't think you'd mind. Catherine: I do. (GREG hands the results to CATHERINE) Catherine: All six hairs are a match to Mathers. FLASH TO: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. FEDERAL LAB] LEGEND: DEPARTMENT OF CRIMINAL JUSTICE MITOCHONDRIAL DNA LAB NORFOLK, VIRGINIA (The machine matches the DNA samples to John Mathers.) WHITE FLASH TO: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- HALLWAY] (CATHERINE nods at the results.) Catherine: He raped and murdered Charlene Roth. Greg: Dead bang. Airtight. Good night, John. Catherine: (slightly annoyed) How are you coming with that twist tie, Greg? Greg: The new case? Catherine: Yeah. Greg: Working on it. Catherine: Good. Keep working on it. (GREG returns back to his lab. CATHERINE turns and walks away.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GARAGE -- CONTINUOUS] (CATHERINE walks into the garage. GRISSOM is examining the metal hand rail.) Catherine: Slam dunk on Mathers. Grissom: Good. The paint on Debbie Reston's hands ... Catherine: Yeah? Grissom: ...Oil-based blue. Catherine: Oil-based? That's for canvases, not railings. Grissom: Not only that, it was mixed with 30-weight motor oil. Which isn't a component of any commercial paint. As an additive however ... keeps paint from drying. (GRISSOM touches the paint on the metal rail. It's still wet. He shows the tip of his blue finger to CATHERINE.) Catherine: Okay ... he knew what he was doing. Expanding his window of opportunity. (GRISSOM continues to examine the metal rail under his magnifying glass. He finds something.) Grissom: Hello? Hairs. Hopefully from his paintbrush. Catherine: And the paint matches Western LVU shade of blue. Grissom: He knows a lot about paint. [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] Willows: (V.O.) He knows a lot about that campus. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. UNIVERSITY - ART DEPARTMENT -- NIGHT] (CATHERINE and GRISSOM interview someone from the University's art department. He's painting as they question him.) Man: I don't know what I can tell you. I've only been here since '95. Catherine: Well, is there anyone in the art department who was here when the first murders took place? Man: A couple of the guys predate me. I'll ask around. (GRISSOM examines the can of brushes.) Grissom: Are any of these brushes made with badger hair? Man: We artists covet our brushes. (The MAN puts his brush down and picks up his glasses. He puts them on.) That's Russian Blue Squirrel ... Japanese Synthetic ... Badger. (He takes his glasses off and resumes painting.) Grissom: In the oil paint sample we collected we found both badger hair and nylon bristles. Man: Anyone who's studied art would never use nylon with oils unless they were using the paint for something else. When brushes age ... (Camera close up of a blue paint can. A brush is dipped into the paint and when removed, leaves behind brush hairs.) Man: (V.O.) ... they shed hairs. Then, if they used a nylon brush the next time ... (A second brush is dipped into the same paint. End of close up. Resume to present.) Catherine: Say I wanted a badger hair paintbrush -- where would I buy one? Man: Student union sells them. Most art stores. You can get them cheaper on the internet. (GRISSOM examines the MAN'S glass lens. The MAN stops and looks at GRISSOM.) Grissom: Sorry. I was admiring your frames. Nice. (GRISSOM puts the glasses back down on the table.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB/HALLWAY] (GREG walks out into the hallway to catch GRISSOM and CATHERINE.) Greg: The results are back on the zip tie you removed from Debbie Reston's wrists. No foreign epithelials, but I did find an errant hair DNA tag still attached. It's not Debbie Reston's. (GREG gives the results to CATHERINE.) Greg: Catherine asked me to cross-check everything with the old cases. It actually belongs to Janet Kent. Catherine: Janet Kent-- the first victim? Greg: I know. Grissom: So Janet Kent's killer saved some of her hair and planted it on Debbie Reston fifteen years later on the night that John Mathers was set to be executed. Catherine: John Mathers is the copycat. Grissom: Yeah. And the original killer's still out there playing a really twisted game. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB] (GRISSOM is in the lab testing the paint samples.) (He puts a bit on the card marked "Paint Sample #3". He places the card in the machine, closes it and starts it.) (Quick CGI POV of the light beam reading the sample. End of CGI POV. Resume to present.) (GRISSOM waits for the results. On the monitor the results for "Charlene Roth" appear.) (The monitor clears then shows a paint comparison of the four paint samples for the four victims: DEBBIE RESTON, CHARLENE ROTH, JANET KENT and MARCIA REESE. The test comparison shows that the only different sample is the sample from CHARLENE ROTH.) (Camera holds on GRISSOM.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LOCKER ROOM] (CATHERINE opens her locker and removes her bag. She closes the locker and heads out.) [HALLWAY] (She sees GRISSOM in the hallway. She walks down the hallway, GRISSOM follows her.) Catherine: Oh. Hey. Mathers' execution's back on. The Roths asked me to sit with them. Grissom: Is that a good idea? Catherine: I just need to do it. Grissom: Why? Catherine: It's like your first autopsy ... your first murdered child. You can make it through that you can keep doing this work. (GRISSOM shows CATHERINE the results of the paint sample comparison.) Grissom: All the paints match all the victims except for Charlene Roth. See, being capable of matching paint samples that are fifteen years apart that's why I keep doing this work. Catherine: (smiles) Well, that's the difference between you and me. (CATHERINE leaves. She passes SARA on her way out walking in toward GRISSOM.) Catherine: Hey. Sara: (to CATHERINE) Hey. (to GRISSOM) Dean of the art school came up with a name. A Cody Lewis. He was a grad student at WLVU in the late '80s same time the three girls were murdered. He left just after the Roth case for a post-doc in Louisiana. Grissom: Where is he now? Sara: WLVU since September. He's an assistant professor there. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT -- INTERROGATION ROOM] (BRASS looks at a photo of CODY LEWIS' painting. It's of a woman with her hands tied.) Brass: So you like to paint dead girls? Cody Lewis: I paint what I feel. (BRASS turns around and looks at CODY LEWIS.) Brass: Yeah, sure. You know, you're an artist. So back in '87 when you painted this girl what were you feeling? That you wanted her to die? (pause) What's the subject matter this week? More dead girls? Cody Lewis: I haven't been doing a lot of painting lately. Brass: Uh-huh. So it's just a coincidence that another coed gets murdered right after you show up in Vegas, right? Cody Lewis: Listen, I painted that fifteen years ago. Right after that second girl was murdered ... Marjorie something. Really affected me. Affected everyone. Brass: Yeah, but it affected you more. Because you knew the first victim. Right? Janet Kent. Cody Lewis: Yeah, I knew Janet. Brass: Come on, Cody, man. You two had a thing. Cody Lewis: We had a date. I took her to a Springsteen show. We had drinks afterwards and that was it. Brass: So what, did she reject you? Did she give you the, uh ... "Cody, we can still be friends"? That speech? Cody Lewis: No. Never got that far. Brass: I was just wondering, because some guys can't take "no" for an answer. But that's not you, right? (Camera holds on CODY LEWIS.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- GARAGE] (NICK, SARA and WARRICK checks out CODY LEWIS' car.) Nick: Okay, I'm getting this to trace. Hey, check out the vehicle's upholstery. It's black and it's a Chevy ... Sara: We got nothing. Nobody cleans a car this good. There is no evidence that Debbie Reston was transported in this vehicle. Warrick: Still doesn't rule out Cody Lewis as a suspect. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - PRINT LAB -- NIGHT] (JACQUI checks out the print. NICK waits for the results.) Jacqui Franco: You got to wonder when a guy gives it up this easily. Prints, DNA, his car ... Nick: Yeah, well ... maybe he's thinks he's some kind of smart guy you know, covering all the bases. Jacqui Franco: Or maybe he didn't do it. Nick: What's that? Jacqui Franco: His prints don't match the partial on the Debbie Reston trash bag. Nick: Wonderful. (JACQUI nods her head.) Nick: Thanks. (NICK turns to leave.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. PRISON - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. EXECUTION OBSERVATION ROOM] (The GUARD near the door puts a small packet of ammonia in CATHERINE'S palm.) Catherine: Thanks. Guard: Ammonia ... in case anyone starts to feel ... unsteady. (CATHERINE takes a seat next to SALLY ROTH in the front row. CATHERINE looks around a bit, then turns to face the front. The curtains to the window are closed.) (Cut to: In the next room, the GUARDS tie JOHN MATHERS' arms down to the table. They secure his ankles to the table. They strap on the belt at his waist. They remove his handcuffs to secure his right hand. They inject the needle into his arm and secure the heart monitor electrodes to his chest. Camera close up of his eyes as he's being prepared.) (The curtains to the observation room window open. JOHN MATHERS turns his head and sees CATHERINE up front and center.) (The last guard leaves the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE #46 [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE -- NIGHT] (On his laptop, BRASS scrolls through the photographs of the murder cases.) Brass: I keep racking my brain going over these unsolved murder cases and I keep coming back to the fact that they're fifteen years apart. That means he's either out of town or in the joint. Grissom: Why wouldn't he take his business to some other college if it was only about young girls? Brass: It's got to be personal. He wanted to kill those girls. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE #47 [INT. EXECUTION OBSERVATION ROOM] (The first syringe is injected into the I.V. tube.) (Quick CGI POV through the tube and fast forward with the liquid to the red blood cells. End of CGI POV.) (Cut to: A close up of JOHN MATHERS' left eye with pupil dilating.) (Cut to: CGI POV of the heart beating very slowly. Resume to present.) (Cut to: JOHN MATHERS on the table struggling to breathe and CATHERINE watching in the background.) (Cut to: TOM ROTH looks at SALLY ROTH. SALLY ROTH watches JOHN MATHERS, a picture of her daughter CHARLENE is clutched in her hands.) (Quick flashback to CHARLENE ROTH struggling against her attacker. End of flashback. Resume to present.) (Cut back to: TOM ROTH.) (Cut to: JOHN MATHERS on the table.) (Cut to: Close up of JOHN MATHERS chest and his breathing. Camera hold on his ear. Camera cut to his dilated eye.) (Cut to: CATHERINE watches through the window. SALLY ROTH reaches over and holds CATHERINE'S hand. She looks at CATHERINE.) (JOHN MATHERS' eyes flutter closed. The heart monitor flatlines.) (Camera holds on CATHERINE.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE -- NIGHT] Brass: I mean, I don't know much about bugs, but most animals hunt in their own backyard. Grissom: True of insects as well. You know why? Brass: It's where they feel most comfortable. Grissom: And where they can blend in the best. (Quick flash to: Students walk across the campus. Special note of the men wearing glasses. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: This guy had ties to Western LVU. He paints a railing on a campus walkway. I tried it; took me about five minutes. Brass: My guys were all over that school. Nobody remembers seeing anything. Grissom: Probably because there wasn't much to see. (Quick flash to: Students walk across the campus. Nothing special there.) Grissom: (V.O.) He must've looked as though he belonged. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: Like the insects, he blended in. (BRASS sighs heavily.) Brass: Yeah. (BRASS opens his desk drawer and pulls out a bottle.) Brass: You off the clock? Grissom: I guess. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. PRISON -- NIGHT] (CATHERINE walks back to her car. On the other side of the wire fence are protesters with signs. The guard opens the wire gate, she walks through it and into the crowd.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE -- NIGHT] Brass: He's going to kill again. Grissom: Yeah. And all we've got is a partial fingerprint and an M.O. that may lead us in the right direction. Brass: You know sometimes in this job I'd rather be lucky than good. Maybe next time we'll get lucky. Grissom: I don't believe in luck. My only real purpose is to be smarter than the bad guys to find the evidence that they didn't know they left behind and make sense of it all. Makes me very uncomfortable to realize that this guy may be smarter than me.

Fifteen years ago, Catherine helped to put John Mathers on death row for the rape and murder of a young student at a local college. On the day of his execution , he's granted a stay based on new DNA evidence. Meanwhile, Grissom, Nick and Sara are looking for a missing student, who is found murdered and left in exactly the same fashion as the women in Catherine's case.

fd_London_Spy_01x02

fd_London_Spy_01x02_0

Danny: This is Alex. Policewoman: Your partner? Danny: Yeah. He's a genius. He went to university at the age of 15. Alex: The people I work with... are inscrutable. Danny: Alex? Policewoman: What kind of relationship did you have with him? Did it involve sadism? Danny: No. ( He gasps ) Alex: I could never hurt Danny... because he is the only friend I have. Policewoman: This man is called Alistair, his parents are alive. Is it possible you enjoyed extreme sexual encounters with someone who didn't want you to know their name? Scottie: He worked for MI6. He was a spy. The police were concerned you might have taken something from the crime scene - a personal item, something of sentimental value. You wouldn't have done that, would you? Danny: Of course not. Scottie: No, of course not. Radio: ..All the love you can Stand by Your man Stand by your man And tell the world you love him Keep giving all the love you can Stand by your man. ( He pants ) ( He sighs ) ( He sobs ) Danny: Your newspaper has... reported a series of lies. It's not the truth. You need to tell them the truth. You need to listen to me! I'm here today... to tell you the truth. I'm here today to tell you the truth. I'm here today to tell you the truth. I'm here today to tell you the truth. You f*ck! ( He sobs ) I'm here today to tell you the TRUTH! [SCENE_BREAK] Journalist: In your phone call you asked how it all works. We took that as negotiating payment. Danny: Oh, no. Erm... I have never spoken to a journalist before. I don't want money. I'm here to tell you the truth. Journalist: You used the word "partners" to describe your relationship. Danny: Yeah, we were partners. Journalist: What do you mean by that? Danny: Erm, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Journalist: You'd been together eight months? Danny: Yeah. Journalist: During those eight months, how many times had you visited the attic? Danny: I'd never visited the attic. Apart from when I discovered... That was the only time, that was the first time. Journalist: But you must have known about it? Danny: No. Journalist: The activities that went on up there? Danny: Well, that's what I'm trying to tell you - I don't think anything did go on up there. Erm, I never saw him use those items, I never heard him talk about those things. Journalist: You were his sexual partner for eight months. He never mentioned sadism? Never asked you to participate? Never discussed his predilections? You know nothing? Danny: Why won't you ask me what I think happened to him? Journalist: What do you think happened to him? Danny: He was murdered. Journalist: Who murdered him? Danny: I don't know. Journalist: Why did they murder him? [SCENE_BREAK] Journalist 2: Not here. [SCENE_BREAK] Journalist 2: You don't use his name. Is it true you didn't even know it? Did he ever tell you he was in danger? Danny: No. Journalist 2: OK, I get it. He's a spy, he needed to be careful. You met by chance. First day, he lied. But eight months later you want to spend the rest of your lives together and you're still using the wrong name to say how much you love him? Danny: He told me his name was Alex. Journalist 2: People lie, Danny. And they lie well. Danny: Guys who own rooms like that attic... when it comes to s*x, they know what they want, how they want it. The s*x...is professional. And he didn't know what he enjoyed. He'd never found out. [SCENE_BREAK] Danny: Do you believe me? Journalist 2: It doesn't matter what I believe. But, yes... I do. [SCENE_BREAK] Scottie: Journalists make difficult bedfellows. You can't just tell them what to print. You didn't want to discuss it with me first? Danny: I knew you'd try and talk me out of it. Make me think what a dumb idea it was. Scottie: What is this? Mistrust? It is. I see. You trusted me with your life, but not now, not with this! Danny: My life is small, this is... organisations, institutions. Scottie: You see me as one of them, don't you? The suit, the education, the job - I'm part of the Establishment. Danny: Well, aren't you? Scottie: How dare you, young man! How dare you presume to know me. I know you because I've heard every secret you have to tell. What do you know about me? Answer me. Danny: I know... Scottie: You know where I live. You know what films I like, you know what music I listen to. Did you know that I suffer from depression? Did you know that in the past I drank every night, every day, every morning - I drank until a stranger could smell it on me! Do you know just how f*cking far I am from being part of the Establishment?! How dare you mistrust me... when you don't know! You want to know who I am, who I really am... I'll show you. Danny: Where we going?! Scottie: Come on. Then you can decide whether you trust me or not. ( Birdsong ) ( Dog barks in distance ) Scottie: This is the spot where my career as a spy came to an end. I was a spy... a long time ago. In a world very different to this one. I was recruited at Cambridge. I said yes partly because it wouldn't be a normal life, with regular hours. I was desperate to avoid the five o'clock home time... whilst not being bohemian enough to imagine life without a proper profession. Not very patriotic motives, I suppose. But they rather liked that about me, an utter lack of idealism. Romantics make unreliable spies. It was my third year with MI6. I was travelling back to London on the night train. A handsome man entered my carriage... sat opposite me. The tips of our shoes touched. Our eyes chanced. He asked the most mundane questions in the most exciting way. When we arrived at Paddington, I went to the gentlemen's and waited in a cubicle, door ajar, hoping. I can't tell you how happy I was to see him. It meant that I hadn't been wrong. And that for the next 15 minutes or so, I wouldn't be alone. After all these years, prudishness runs deep. The next day, I was approached by a Soviet operative... who described how the Soviet Union welcomed "men like me". "Under Communism we're all equals." And once I'd completed my mission here, in a country that would always hate my kind, I could set up home in Moscow and be free. Some "men like me" actually believed that lie but I was not one of them. So, all that remained was the blackmail. I'd be exposed... arrested... disgraced. So, that night, I bought a rope... and came here... but sitting on that branch, noose ready, I thought to myself, there is another way. Danny: You told your bosses you were gay. ( Scottie chuckles ) Scottie: That's a wonderful wrong answer; the option did not exist. No, I explained to my section head that I'd been approached by a Soviet operative and I detailed the nature of the blackmail. He asked if the allegations were true. I admitted that I'd made a mistake with a man and that the operative probably had evidence of that mistake. But it was only once. An act of disgusting madness. "I'm not a homosexual! And I'm not a traitor! Hard for them to believe the second statement when they knew that the first was a lie. So, I proposed preposterously: they employ someone to follow me for the rest of my life - photograph my every move - I would never touch another man. I didn't discover until later that it hadn't been a Soviet operative, it had been an internal investigation. You've heard of a mole hunt? Well, this was a fag hunt, which they saw as more or less the same thing. Her Majesty's Secret Service had had its fingers burnt by one too many queer spies but my prompt confession, saved my life. I was moved from MI6 into what was then named Ministry for Transport, where I was little more than a pen-pusher, whispered about by those in the know. Out of gratitude and fear, I kept my end of the bargain. And for 11 years, I did not touch another man. [SCENE_BREAK] Scottie: Will you sleep? (Danny shakes his head) Then I propose we stay up all night and wait for the morning papers together. ( Birdsong ) [SCENE_BREAK] Danny's Boss: (quietly) In my office. Danny: Huh? Danny: Drug-test me. I need this. [SCENE_BREAK] Sara: It's from his parents. [SCENE_BREAK] Danny: Mr and Mrs Turner. ( Engine starts ) Danny: Beautiful countryside round here. [SCENE_BREAK] Danny: How long have you lived here? Mr. Turner: Didn't Alistair tell you? Danny: No. Mrs. Turner: What did he tell you about us? The truth... please. Danny: He told me you were dead. Mr. Turner: We weren't close. [SCENE_BREAK] Mrs. Turner: Bathroom's opposite. It's... It's all yours. Is one towel enough? Danny: Plenty. ( Door closes ) [SCENE_BREAK] Mr. Turner: We've already eaten. We won't stand here and watch. [SCENE_BREAK] ( Door opens ) Mrs. Turner: How was dinner? Danny: Fine. Alistair, tell me about him. ( Book closes ) Mrs. Turner: Will you be able to sleep? Danny: Probably not. Alistair suffered from insomnia. Mrs. Turner: Well, that's why he enjoyed running so much - to exhaust him. His mind was so busy, he ran so he could sleep. Danny: Why can't you talk to me? [SCENE_BREAK] ( Door opens ) ( Knock at door, door opens ) Mr. Turner: Time to talk. Danny: You read the article? Mrs. Turner: We're not making any judgements. Mr. Turner: You see the life we lead. We're private people, we don't want attention. The past is the past. What Alistair did in London was up to him. He was an adult. We can't bring him back. We'd just prefer it... if there was no fuss. Mrs. Turner: We'd... both prefer it. Danny: I won't talk to the press again. Mr. Turner: That's good. Danny: But nobody was saying it, so I had to. Your son was murdered. Mr. Turner: After breakfast, why don't we go for a walk? [SCENE_BREAK] Danny: Your son was murdered. Mr. Turner: My son is dead. My wife is sick. Danny: I'm sorry. Mr. Turner: Enough. Danny: Enough? [SCENE_BREAK] Mr. Turner: We need to leave soon if we're to catch your train. Danny: That... is not his bedroom. This is not his home. Mr. Turner: Have you lost your mind?! Danny: Who are you? Who are you?! ( Phone rings ) Woman (O.C. on phone): Bring him. Danny: Who was that? Mr. Turner: That was Alistair's mother. Danny: His mother?! What does she want? Mr. Turner: To meet you. [SCENE_BREAK] Danny: How far is it? Mr. Turner: Not far. ( Engine starts ) [SCENE_BREAK] Danny: Anything else you want to see? Frances: Not everyone is comfortable inviting strangers to their home. We thought if you saw where we lived you might try to extort us. Danny: Why do you think I would want your money? Frances: Because you have none. You want an apology? I gave you an explanation. Danny: You...I believe. Frances: My husband's name is Charles. My name is Frances. My son's name was Alistair. Your name, Daniel, we read in the paper. My staff you met. Danny: Where's she taking my stuff? Frances: Well, surely you're going to spend the night? ( Crow caws ) [SCENE_BREAK] Frances: We're in the midst of restoring the house to its former glory. We had hoped Alistair would finish the task. [SCENE_BREAK] Danny: This is his room. Frances: How did you know? Danny: Because it's the loneliest room I've ever been in. Frances: Charles was sure you'd catch the train home today, none the wiser. I was convinced you'd figure it out. It seems you did so not with reason or deduction... but something akin to... female intuition. Danny: I won't sleep in here. Frances: I would never have allowed it. [SCENE_BREAK] Frances: Dinner is at eight. Danny: You're embarrassed by his death. Frances: Yes. Danny: Upset, too? Frances: Yes. More than you can imagine. [SCENE_BREAK] ( Birdsong ) ( Crow caws ) [SCENE_BREAK] Frances: Did you realise your provocation was infantile before or after you came through that door? Before, I see. But you didn't decide to change? Danny: Would you like me to? Frances: No. I think I prefer you like that. Danny: Thank you. Frances: Alistair completed that maze unassisted, three months before his fifth birthday. Others considered him to be disturbed, but what they saw as a disturbance of the mind was, in fact, an exceptional gift. However, it's not enough in this world to be born brilliant - you need direction and discipline. You need someone who reminds you, day after day, never to waste your talent on triviality. How many brilliant minds are out there right now rotting in squalor and neglect? It took every ounce of my strength to make Alistair realise his potential. He ended up hating me for it. But you guessed that already. Danny: Your son was murdered. The attic was staged. And everything you've read about his death is a lie. Frances: After dinner, perhaps you will join me for a drink. [SCENE_BREAK] Frances: My son wasn't gay. Before you hold some sort of parade through the house, hear me out. Alistair...didn't think like ordinary people. He didn't feel what ordinary people feel. In his eyes, everyone was a puzzle. He took immense satisfaction figuring out what a person wanted and then giving it to them. As if we were all computers... waiting for the correct code. Alistair could be anything a person wanted him to be. In your case, it appears you craved romance, a good old-fashioned love story. He gave it to you. Meanwhile, he continued giving other kinds of stimulation to other kinds of people, men and women. If he was involved with someone who hankered after risk, he would have provided it. Danger, pain, submission, domination. Alistair was as precocious sexually as he was intellectually. To him, they were one and the same. s*x was just another form of decryption. You think I'm cruel? Perhaps I am. But not in this instance. I wanted to preserve your illusions. We had hoped that you would go home and mourn in the belief that your relationship was perfect. You loved him, I see that. However, I cannot allow you to be unaware of the facts, in case you blunder further into a situation you simply do not understand. I'm not surprised he used a different name - he was playing a part. The part of a conventional lover. Danny: I haven't read many books. I haven't been to many...places. But I have f*cked a lot of people. And there's one thing... you just can't fake. Inexperience. The body's tense when it should be relaxed. It hurts when...it should be fun. And it's dirty when it should be clean. I don't care how smart you are, your muscles can't lie. I'm talking about feeling his inexperience as clearly as I can feel this glass. Do you follow me, Frances? I can see you do. So I know for a fact you're lying. I know for a fact that your son, the man I loved, was a virgin. What I don't understand is why you're so keen to convince me otherwise. When he told me you were dead, he wasn't lying, was he? Frances: Amongst all the lies you've heard here this weekend, recognise one truth - "no fuss" is the best piece of advice you will ever be given. [SCENE_BREAK] Danny: I prefer it down here. Nanny: She won't like it. Danny: No. I don't think she will. You cared about him. You cared for him. If he had a problem, he came to you, didn't he? Not her. You loved him. Nanny: ( sobs ) Alex. Danny: Alex. Nanny: He hated the name Alistair. ( She laughs ) Danny: What happened here? Nanny: Get as far away from these people as you can. He insisted. [SCENE_BREAK] ( Engine idles ) ( Horn ) [SCENE_BREAK] Alex: I want to tell you a story...about a man. While everyone was laughing... and drinking, he would just walk... until he reached the exact same spot, where he'd sit with his back to all those people. And while he did everything he possibly could to signal to the world that he wanted to be left alone... more than anything, he hoped that someone passing would understand that what he really wanted was the exact opposite. And that this someone would sit next to him... and strike up a conversation. I was that man... and you were that someone. American: I have a sweet tooth. It's easier to quit smoking, I swear. Not very British, talking to strangers, is it? I've worked in your country for ten years now. Do you own a house? Danny: No. American: A car? Danny: No, nothing. American: Well, you have your health. That's the most precious asset of all. Danny: My health? American: Lots of people think they have nothing to lose, but in my professional experience, they just haven't thought it through. Danny: Are you threatening me? American: Threatening? My, oh, my! This is just a conversation, a chitchat. Two people passing in the night. I can see why you're so confused, over the years I've adopted quite a few of your country's customs, but that great British reserve escapes me. I enjoy talking too much. And, once in a while, someone unexpected tells you something... that might save your life. Be sure to put that card someplace safe. [SCENE_BREAK] ( Danny knocks on door ) Scottie: You think my house is bugged? Danny: I've just been threatened. They...heard us. Scottie: Who? Danny: The people who murdered Alex. Scottie: All right... suppose he was murdered, suppose you're right. Follow it through, the implications of what you're saying. You know nothing about them, they will know everything about you. Every action you take will have been predicted, planned for - even coming here tonight. And if they don't kill you, it'll be for one reason - they consider you less of a nuisance alive than dead. If you're insulted by the idea of your insignificance, you shouldn't be, you should cherish it. No daring journalist is going to come to your aid, no rogue police officer. It's just you - you alone, Danny. Ask yourself, honestly, who are you? You're friends with everyone, you trust everyone, and you know no-one. Danny: You know these people. Scottie: I knew them 30 years ago. Danny: Help me. Scottie: One way or another, I've been afraid for much of my life, and it's a privilege to spend time with a man who's never afraid of anything. And that's not because you were born in a different time - you're fearless. I've always wondered how that must feel. But, Danny, occasionally, it's right to be afraid. Leave this alone. Promise me. ( Scratching ) ..Your man And show the world you love him Keep giving all the love you can Stand by your man.

Convinced that he is being followed, Danny hides the device he discovered. He contacts a newspaper to correct the news coverage about Alex/Alistair and report it was murder; instead it prints a story about his own drug taking, and he loses his job. Scottie tells Danny about his history with MI6 30 years ago and shows him where he attempted suicide at the time. Danny is invited to visit by a couple who claim to be Alex/Alistair's parents and who behave strangely distant. He refuses to believe them and is taken to a mansion belonging to Frances and her husband, where she informs him that Alistair, her son, was neither gay nor a virgin, but very experienced in sexual roleplay. When Danny does not believe her, Frances tells him to stop making a fuss. The next morning, the housekeeper reveals that his real name was Alistair but he preferred the name Alex. Danny returns to London and is approached by an American who tells him to look after his health. He leaves behind a sweet containing a tablet and a business card which Danny rips up.

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SILVER NEMESIS PART THREE Run time: 24:36 [SCENE_BREAK] Windsor Great Park [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: Of course. It's so simple. They're shrouded. Ace: You what? The Doctor: Shrouded. They don't show up. But we must try and force them into revealing themselves. Treble. Bass. Please let me be right. Is anyone listening? Balance. Ace: What are they? The Doctor: Cyber warships. Thousands of them. They were invisible. Ace: What can we do? The Doctor: I think our best move is to go to the crypt, unarmed, with the bow. Ace: Professor, are you losing your marbles? The Doctor: We've got to get the bow into the statue's hands in order to activate the validium. Ace: Is this the only way? The Doctor: I believe in the direct approach. You can always go back to the TARDIS. Ace: Are we going or what? [SCENE_BREAK] Crypt [SCENE_BREAK] De Flores: Surely we, er, we can negotiate this er, this misunderstanding? Leader: Our understanding is perfect. You thought you had all three components of the statue, and naturally wished to destroy us. Karl: You are completely mistaken. Leader: Silence. Cyberman: Validium activity indicates proximity of the bow, Leader. Leader: Excellent. Kill them. [SCENE_BREAK] Outside the Crypt [SCENE_BREAK] Karl: Herr De Flores. De Flores: You fool, they're going to kill us. Karl: Your day is over. De Flores: You betray me? Have I taught you nothing? Karl: Everything. Which is why we now part company. I'm afraid you failed to understand history in addition to Wagner. De Flores: I? Karl: Supermen are all very well, but the giants are the master race. Karl: Here he is. Now make me one of you. Leader: You show potential. Very well. Have them programmed at once. Leader: We must complete the statue immediately. Locate the bow. Destroy the Doctor and his young friend. Richard: How is it with you, my lady? Peinforte: I understand not. Richard: What's to understand? Peinforte: Always I have treated you badly. I have done you no service, shown you no kindness, and yet you risk your life to save me. Why so? Richard: Should I not? Peinforte: I do not live in the world of what should. But you're a good man, Richard, and I am evil. Richard: My lady, we have no more weapons. Peinforte: No, you're wrong. I have one more yet that will not fail. My knowledge. I will have the statue of Nemesis. [SCENE_BREAK] Windsor Great Park [SCENE_BREAK] Ace: Doctor. The Doctor: Ace? Ace: Look, let's be honest, right? I've never really bottled out of anything before, have I, but I'm really, really scared, Doctor. The Doctor: Oh, Ace. I'm sorry. Forgive me. Why don't you go back to the TARDIS? You'll be safe there, whatever happens. Ace: No chance, Doctor. No chance. [SCENE_BREAK] Crypt [SCENE_BREAK] Cyberman: The Cyberfleet are still not receiving our transmission, Leader. Leader: Is there any pattern to the jamming signal? Cyberman: It is meaningless. Cyberman: Communication channels to the Cyberfleet are clear again, Leader. Leader: Excellent. Their arrival is imminent. De Flores: You fool. Without the bow the statue's power is nothing. Leader: We will shortly obtain the bow. De Flores: From the Doctor? Don't delude yourself. He is no common adversary. Do you think he'll simply walk in here and hand it over? The Doctor: Good afternoon. Leader: Doctor. The Doctor: Yes, here we are. I'm sorry we couldn't have been here earlier, but we were held up on the way. I don't believe you've met my friend Ace. Leader: Give me the bow. The Doctor: Cyberleader moves pawn to discover check. Ace: Ace replies by neatly castling with the bow. Leader: Give me the bow. The Doctor: Doctor en passant behind Cyberleader. Leader: Give me the bow! The Doctor: Doctor supports combination gambit. Leader: Take the bow from him. The Doctor: Middle game element with Cybermen. Leader: Kill him! The Doctor: End game. Illegal move, but checkmate! The Doctor: That seems to be in order. The Doctor: Run! [SCENE_BREAK] Outside the Crypt [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: The TARDIS. Ace: No statue? The Doctor: Now it's awake, it'll follow the bow. [SCENE_BREAK] Windsor Great Park [SCENE_BREAK] Peinforte: Fear not, Richard. It is the Nemesis come alive. Richard: Alive? Peinforte: Why, yes. Which means it is complete, and now it shall be mine. Peinforte: All power, all power past, present and future, shall be mine. Why, I shall be mistress of all of that is, all that shall be, all that ever was. Yes, all! All! Richard: My lady, let us find some shelter. Peinforte: How dare you! I shall lead and you follow! [SCENE_BREAK] Lady Peinforte's home [SCENE_BREAK] Ace: Hey, why are we here? What's going on, Professor? The Doctor: Unfinished business. We don't want those to fall into the wrong hands, just yet. Ace: How's the game going? The Doctor: Black's losing. Ace: What happens to these calculations? The Doctor: Bishop takes rook. Someone steals them. Ace: The same person who steals the bow? I mean, the same person who steals it in 1788? The Doctor: How should I know, Ace? Questions, questions. Queen takes bishop. Ace: Who brought validium to Earth in the first place? The Doctor: But pawn takes queen. Ace: What's really going on, Doctor? The Doctor: Checkmate. Black wins. Time to go. Take those gold coins. We may need them. [SCENE_BREAK] Road [SCENE_BREAK] Peinforte: We needs must walk, Richard. We have no carriage. Richard: We can avail ourselves of one of these steeds, my lady. I see the method. Sit you here and rest awhile. [SCENE_BREAK] Crypt [SCENE_BREAK] Leader: The Doctor must not lead the statue back to the rocket sleds. We will stop him. [SCENE_BREAK] Warehouse [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: Ah. Now, the statue should be here any moment now. Everything depends on my final calculations. I can't get my figures wrong this time. Ace: It's okay, Professor. I promise not to interrupt you. The Doctor: You are interrupting me. Ace: Sorry. The Doctor: There's also another slight problem. The Cybermen could be here at any moment. Ace: Don't worry, Doctor. I'll look after you. The Doctor: Aim at the chest panel. And I trust you remember my strict instructions never to cause any further explosions? Ace: I'm a better person as a result, Doctor. The Doctor: Good. We're ready for anything. [SCENE_BREAK] Road [SCENE_BREAK] Peinforte: All will be mine. [SCENE_BREAK] Limousine [SCENE_BREAK] Remington: Er, Cyril, honey, pull the automobile over. There's some people there who could use a lift. Remington: Where are you folks headed? Richard: To Windsor, and it please you, ma'am. Remington: It surely does, honey. Jump right in. [SCENE_BREAK] Crypt [SCENE_BREAK] Karl: Herr De Flores, your day is over. De Flores: (laughs) You betray me. Have I taught you nothing. Karl: We completely deceived them, Herr De Flores. De Flores: Even I thought for a moment we were finished. I am not afraid of death, only of failing in my duty. [SCENE_BREAK] Warehouse [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: Now, ah yes, the bow. The bow. The bow is essential. You shall have the bow. [SCENE_BREAK] Limousine [SCENE_BREAK] Remington: You must be parched from standing in the sun. May I offer you a little refreshment? Richard: Thank you, no, madam. Remington: Oh. Are you folks students? Richard: Alas, I am but a servant, and cannot read or write. Remington: Oh. Richard: My mistress is of noble birth, and has some Latin and a little Greek. Remington: Well, you must be on vacation at this time. Richard: Go you far, ma'am? Remington: Far? Oh, I just came over from London. Richard: Two days ride. Remington: Well, no, actually the traffic was pretty reasonable. I left about, let's see, forty minutes ago. Richard: Forty minutes? Remington: Folks from the south are never in a hurry. As a matter of fact, I'm here on a visit, checking out my roots. Richard: Tis wise with crops this time of year, ma'am. Remington: Oh. [SCENE_BREAK] Warehouse [SCENE_BREAK] Nemesis: I am beautiful, am I not? Ace: Yes. You're very beautiful. Nemesis: It is only my present form. I have had others which would horrify you. I shall have those again. You are surprised I speak? Ace: I know you're living metal. Nemesis: I am whatever I am made to be. This time Lady Peinforte called me Nemesis, so I am retribution. Ace: Catch you later. [SCENE_BREAK] Limousine [SCENE_BREAK] Remington: Well, my family came from around here. I traced them all the way back to the sixteen hundreds. Peinforte: All things will soon be mine. Remington: I guess they will, honey. Peinforte: Time past, present and future. Power invincible. [SCENE_BREAK] Warehouse [SCENE_BREAK] Leader: Destroy the human female. Find and destroy her! [SCENE_BREAK] Limousine [SCENE_BREAK] Peinforte: The secret of the heavens. Remington: Virginia is heaven, if you ask me. My family owns a little land there. They used to own a little land around here, too. The Remingtons of Remington Grange. Peinforte: I know them. Thieves and swindlers all. Remington: You study history? Peinforte: Dorothea Remington did bribe away my cook. Remington: Oh. Now, let me see. Yes, there was a Dorothea. She died in sixteen... Peinforte: Twenty one. Twas a slow poison. Remington: This is unbelievable. Peinforte: Many found it so. Remington: Here I am, driving around, and I pick up someone who's researched my family tree. Peinforte: We ride to destiny. Remington: We surely do, honey. We surely do. [SCENE_BREAK] Warehouse [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: And now, we'll set the rockets for the correct projection, and then you will be on course for the Cyberfleet. Ace: Why? You're going to kill me anyway. Leader: We detect only one more piece of gold. Ace: Correct. So who'll be next, and who'll be lucky? Leader: Kill her. The Doctor: The rockets are now locked in to a destination. Now, let's see how the Cyberfleet is progressing. The Doctor: Right on course. Nemesis: And I'm to destroy the entire Cyberfleet? The Doctor: Forever. Nemesis: And then? The Doctor: Reform. Nemesis: You might need me in the future, then? The Doctor: I hope not. Nemesis: That is what you said before. The Doctor: Enough. Nemesis: And after this, will I have my freedom? The Doctor: Not yet. Nemesis: When? The Doctor: I told you when. The Doctor: Things are still imperfect. The Doctor: Stop! Harm her in the slightest, and I will destroy this bow! Cyberman: Give us the bow, Doctor. The Doctor: No. Cyberman: We shall simply take it and kill you both. The Doctor: Ah. Cyberman: In any case, your threat was meaningless. How could you have destroyed the bow? The Doctor: Well, actually, I would have arranged to have the bow neatly placed in front of the rocket sled. Then I would have arranged the rockets to test fire at a pre-arranged time. By the way, Ace, what is the time? Ace: Well, it's almost... Ace: Is that it, Doctor? Oh no, not you again. De Flores: The bow. De Flores: We have both succeeded in deceiving the Cybermen. Karl: They made the mistake of assuming all human beings to be weak, corruptible. We, however, are loyal to the death. De Flores: The long journey is over. You will be worshipped forever. Doesn't she speak? The Doctor: Not to the likes of you. De Flores: She will. Well, Doctor, we must part. And thank you for removing the Cybermen. Now the Nemesis is finally mine. Ace: I'm sorry, Doctor. I thought I'd got him. Leader: Give me the bow, or I will kill her. Peinforte: All things, all power. Time, space, the world. Leader: She is mad. Richard: Speak not of my lady so. Peinforte: See, I am here. Ace: What do you want? Peinforte: My Nemesis. Ace: You're too late. The Doctor's got it. Peinforte: It is incomplete until it holds the bow. That may be given over to anyone. It will now be given to me. Leader: No! To us. Peinforte: You are nothing. Only the Doctor matters, and he is but a pawn in the game of my making. Ace: Listen, you old bag. Richard: Silence! Ace: The Doctor's not just going to give you the bow. Tell her, Doctor. Tell her. Peinforte: Doctor who? Have you never wondered where he came from, who he is? Ace: Nobody knows who the Doctor is. Peinforte: Except me. Ace: How? Peinforte: The statue told me. Ace: All right, so what does it matter? He's a Time Lord, I know that. Peinforte: Well, Doctor? The Doctor: If I give you the bow... Peinforte: Your power becomes mine, but your secrets remain your own. The Doctor: It's all over, Ace. My battle, all my battles, I've lost. I can only surrender. Peinforte: Yes. The Doctor: But not to you. The Cybermen will have the Nemesis. Leader: This is most rational, Doctor. Peinforte: But I know your secrets. The Doctor: Very well, tell them. Peinforte: I shall tell them of Gallifrey, tell them of the old time, the time of chaos. The Doctor: Be my guest. Peinforte: Your secrets... Leader: The secrets of the Time Lords mean nothing to us. The Doctor: Exactly. Thank you for coming to the twentieth century and giving me assistance. Thank you for bringing the arrow. You may go now. Peinforte: What? The Doctor: You had the right game, but the wrong pawn. Check. Leader: Enough, Doctor. Cancel the statue's destructive capability. The Doctor: Thank you. The Doctor: Do you understand the Cyberleader's instructions? Nemesis: Perfectly. Ace: Please don't surrender, Doctor. Leader: Prepare it for launching to liaise with our fleet. You have the position from this device. Leader: A new and final era begins, Doctor. Imagination, thought, freedom, pleasure, all will end. Leader: The Earth will be transformed into our base planet, the new Mondas. Before I kill you all, you may watch the arrival of our fleet. Launch the Nemesis. Ace: Let them kill me, Doctor. Don't surrender. The Doctor: Stand back. She's ready for launching. Ace: Nice rocket technology, Doctor. Leader: We will watch its progress. The Doctor: Certainly. Leader: This is impossible. You gave my instructions to the statue. The Doctor: Yes, I gave your instructions to the Nemesis, and it understood them. It understood them, and disobeyed them, and destroyed the Cyberfleet. Leader: Then you will join them. The Doctor: It's worth it. The Doctor: That seems to be that. Thank you. Richard: It was nothing, Doctor. I wish I could have saved my lady, too, but she was one with your statue. How shall I live now, stranded, a stranger in this time? The Doctor: I know how you feel. However... Ace: He'll give you a lift. The Doctor: Back to 1638? Richard: It's possible? The Doctor: Anything's possible. [SCENE_BREAK] Lady Peinforte's home [SCENE_BREAK] Ace: So you sent the Nemesis off into space to draw the Cybermen so you could finish them off. The Doctor: I suppose I did. How clever of me. Ace: Just like you nailed the Daleks. The Doctor: As I said, Ace. Unfinished business. Ace: There's still one question you haven't answered. Richard: We have none of this jazz whereof you speak, Doctor, but I think you will like this. Ace: Professor? Doctor? Who are you?

The Nemesis Statue is alive, thanks to Lady Peinforte's insanity, and with De Flores's Nazis wiped out by the Cybermen, Nemesis claims it has secrets to reveal...

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Title Card: The tip of the Space Needle glows. ACT ONE [SCENE_BREAK] Scene One - Radio Studio Frasier is nearing the end of his show. Frasier: Well, I think we've got time for one last caller. Roz, who have we got? He looks over and sees Roz on the phone, turned away from him and writing on a pad. Roz: Mmm-hmm... mmm-hmm... Peeved, Frasier tosses a pencil against the glass to get her attention. She notices him, but waves him off. Frasier: Well, I suppose I'll be fielding this last one myself. Let's try line two. [pushes button] Go ahead, caller, your name and problem, please. Ernie: [v.o.] Yes sir, my name's Ernie, and I'm real angry at my dog. Frasier: Okay, Ernie. Uh, very often when people have feelings towards their pets it often reflect feelings they have about themselves and their place in society. So tell me, why are you angry at your dog? Ernie: [v.o.] Well, he keeps telling me to take off my foil helmet. Beat. Frasier: Would you hold on, Ernie? Um, someone will come on the line with the number of an expert in this sort of situation. Let's try, uh, line four. [presses button] Roz: [v.o.] Oh yes, of course I'm interested! I'll fax my resume right over! Frasier mutes the line. Frasier: Well, the news is up next, followed by the market update with Julia Wilcox. That's it for me today. This is Dr. Frasier Crane saying, good day and good mental health. He goes off the air and glares at Roz, who mouths, "I'm sorry." Kenny enters with some copies, which he lays on Frasier's console. Kenny: Another great show, doc. Frasier: Did you even listen? Kenny: You don't have to eat every Big Mac to know it's a delicious hamburger sandwich. Roz enters. Frasier: Roz, what's going on? Roz: I'm sorry, but they want to interview me for the program director job at KPXY. Frasier: Well... that's great, but I didn't even know you were looking. Roz: I wasn't! They just called me, out of the blue! I-I'm actually shocked, because I have very limited experience in management. But, well, Kenny's in management, how hard can it be? Frasier nods in agreement. Kenny: Hey, it's not that easy. I know it looks like a monkey can do my job, but it can't. True story. Kenny exits. Frasier: Well, gosh, Roz, I, I must say I've got some mixed feelings about this. I mean, I couldn't be happier that you're finally getting the recognition you deserve, but I'm gonna miss you. Roz: Oh, let's wait 'til there's a real offer before we break out the Kleenex and champagne. Julia enters. Julia: Well, Roz, Kenny told me about your job interview. Good luck. Roz: Oh, I get it. It'll be good luck because if I get the job, I'll be gone. Julia: No, it sounds like a good position for you. Roz: Right, cause I get into a lot of sexual positions with a lot of guys. Julia: I'm saying congratulations. Roz: Oh. Thank you. She crosses back to her booth. Roz: [sotto voce to Frasier] What's her problem? Frasier: Oh, I... Roz closes her door. Frasier: Well, you're being uncharacteristically decent today. You all right? Julia: I'm fine. [then] All right, I might as well tell you before he does. Avery and I broke up. Frasier: Oh. Gosh, uh, what happened? Julia: I got tired of listening to him promise he'd leave his wife. Frasier: Well, I'm sorry. I realize you must be going through... Julia: Oh, I don't need your sympathy. I'm not one of your pathetic code three whackadoos. Frasier: I was just trying to help. No need to insult my callers. Roz sticks her head back in. Roz: Foil Helmet Guy says his dog needs to speak to you. Unable to say anything to Julia, Frasier just motions vaguely towards Roz's booth before exiting. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Two - Caf Nervosa The caf is packed - the line to the counter reaches back to the door, and every table is occupied. Frasier enters. Frasier: Oh, excuse me... He threads his way over to the table in the rear, where Daphne is seated alone. Frasier: Hi, Daph. Daphne: Hello. Frasier: Gosh, I've never seen this place so crowded. What's the occasion? Daphne: It's Mum's day off. Apparently there was a mass e-mail. Frasier: So, is Niles going to be joining us? Daphne: No, he's taking your father to the shooting range. Frasier: Oh, yes, yes, of course, I'd forgotten. He asked me to take him, but then I suggested that when it comes to guns, perhaps he would prefer someone of Niles's... caliber. [chuckles] I'm in rare form today. Daphne: You should see this place when they know you're not coming. As a couple leaves one of the tables in the middle, Julia comes in, talking on her cell phone. Julia: No, Avery... two-thirds of the work on that program is mine! Well, I don't have to prove it, it's a fact! Oh - oh, yeah? Another couple from the line tries to claim the table, but Julia drops her satchel on it. Julia: Well, I should have expected as much from a man who wears leopard print bikini briefs! [holds up phone, to the whole caf ] Avery McManus wears shiny, acetate, man-panties! She sits. Frasier: [to Daphne] Excuse me. He goes over to Julia's table. Frasier: Is everything okay? Julia: No. Now that I've dumped your b*st*rd accountant, he's trying to cut me out of our software program. Frasier: Software program? Julia: We - mostly me - developed a proprietary method for analyzing price/volume momentum - I call it vector scaling - that can quantify the likelihood of longer-term trends. Do you realize what that means? Frasier: [at a loss] It's good. Julia: That program is my baby, I have been working on it for months. I think your b*st*rd accountant has been using me all along. Thanks for setting us up! Frasier: I did no such thing! Julia: You know what I ought to do? I ought to go down to his office, demand my files, and then trash the place! She rises angrily, Frasier restrains her. Frasier: Just a second, just a second, just sit down. Sit down, please. [she does] Take a moment to calm down before you make any rash decisions. Julia: In a few hours, I'm leaving town for a week. There's no way I'm leaving your b*st*rd accountant in control of those files. Frasier: All right, well, if you insist, then perhaps I should go with you. Maybe I can help facilitate things. Julia: Why? What's in it for you? Frasier: Nothing! Surely you can conceive of the possibility that someone might want to just do something nice for you? Julia: You and Avery are in this together, aren't you? Frasier: Of course not! You're not being rational, you know. Perhaps Avery is just holding your program hostage because he feels hurt. Perhaps this is his clumsy way of trying to initiate a dialogue. Julia looks at him thoughtfully. Julia: You really do try to see the best in everyone, don't you? Frasier: Yes, I do. Julia: So, what do you see when you look at me? Frasier: Well... I see a woman who's been hurt, not once but many times. A woman who finds it so difficult to trust someone, she won't allow herself to be vulnerable. A woman... [Julia gets up and walks out] whose eyes are going to get stuck if she keeps rolling them like that! He gets up and follows her. [SCENE_BREAK] THE BANG GANG [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Three - Shooting Range Martin is standing in a booth, firing an automatic. Niles is standing behind him, looking extremely uncomfortable. Both are wearing ear protectors and range glasses. Martin: Ah, look at that grouping! Niles: Hey, uh, Dad, you about ready to go? Martin: I guess I've still got the touch. Hey, Niles, you ought to give it a try. Niles: Thanks, Dad, you know how I feel about handguns. They breed violence. Martin: Oh, come on, this is just simple target shooting, that's all. He puts down his gun and calls his target back. Martin: Ha-ha, yeah! Here's one dirtbag isn't going to be selling crack at any schoolyards anytime soon. Three men standing at the next booth come over, having heard Niles. Red: You should listen to the man. Shooting's a great sport. [shaking hands] Red Brewer. And these clowns here are Mitch and Wayne. Niles shakes their hands, ad-libbing hellos. Niles: I'm Niles Crane, and this is my father, Martin Crane. Martin: [shaking hands] Oh, hi, how you doing, guys? Red: Listen Niles, let me show you how to do this. I think you'll enjoy it. It's pretty simple. He picks up his own pistol and demonstrates as he talks. Red: You just take a solid stance, hold the grip firmly, steady your gun hand with your other, fingers to fingers, thumbs to thumb, focus on the front sight, and squeeze the trigger. He fires, making Niles jump. Red: Okay, you try. Niles: Oh, you know, no offense, but I, uh, I just, I'm not real comfortable with guns. Red: You know, Mitch used to be that way, too. Mitch: Yeah, the only weapon I'd go near was a bow and arrow. Niles: [interested] I, uh, I got an archery badge at day camp. Red: This is like archery, but safer. The weapon's more stable, and you're in a controlled environment. Martin: Go on, give it a try, son. Niles: Well, I, uh, just - I'll do one little one. He steps up and takes Red's pistol. Red: Just remember: stance, grip, aim, relax, shoot. Niles: Okay. [mimics Red] Stance, grip, aim, relax... [tilts his head to the left] shoot. He pulls the trigger. The recoil knocks him back about a foot, but Martin and the guys look pleased. Niles: Did I do it? Red: You not only did it, you hit the target. [points] See? Sixth ring out. Look at the kid, he hit the target his first time. Mitch: Not bad, kid. Wayne: Way to go, kid. Martin: That's my kid! Niles: That was a unique experience. I'm sure I'll dine out on that story for months. Red: Don't quit now, go again. But remember, this time, squeeze the trigger, don't pull. Niles: Okay. He takes his stance again, with his head cocked to the left again. Niles: Squeeze... He fires again, this time staying on balance. Red: Wow, you're pretty good at this! The kid's a natural, am I right? Niles: Can I go again? Red: Yeah. Niles, more confident, fires one shot after the other. He experiments, tilting his head to the right and sighting with his other eye, as we: [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Four - Avery's Office Julia is pacing outside Avery's office door, when Frasier comes in. Julia: What took you so long? Frasier: I was looking for street parking. Do you have any idea how much this garage charges? Julia knocks on the door. No answer. She knocks again. Julia: Avery's not here. Frasier: Oh, great, it cost me three-fifty to find that out. Julia: No, it's good. It'll make it easier for me to get my program back. Frasier: What do you mean? Julia: I know his keypad code. [starts to enter it] Frasier: Wh-wh-what? That is breaking and entering! Julia: Oh, if you're so scared, why don't you just leave? Frasier: Well, I'm-I'm not scared! I... The door opens, and Julia enters the office. Frasier follows her in. RESET TO: Office Julia starts to rifle through Avery's desk. Frasier: I'll have you know I've had my fair share of escapades. Back in med school I once dressed a cadaver in cap and gown and... Julia: [finds a disk] Oh, here's my program! Okay, good. [logs on the computer] Now, just in case he backed it up, I am going to delete everything from his hard drive. Frasier: Julia, I-I-I beg you to rethink this. I realize you're angry at Avery- Julia: I'm not feeling anger. Just the peace that comes with knowing that Avery will be royally screwed - by me. Sounds are heard outside the door. Frasier: There's somebody at the door! Julia points him to the closet. They rush in as someone outside is heard entering the code. RESET TO: Closet They go inside and close the door. Julia cracks the door and peeks outside, then closes the door softly. They both whisper: Julia: It's the cleaning woman. I thought so, I've hidden from her before. Frasier: Julia, there's still time to end this. Julia: Shh! Frasier: Look, you know that what you're doing is wrong. You should just get out now before more harm is done. Julia: Will you shut up? It's pointless to hide in a closet if the people outside can hear you! Frasier: You're going to get caught. Julia: Because you won't shut up! Frasier: It's never too late to do the right thing. No matter how low someone else sinks, joining them there does not make things better. Julia does not shush him. Suddenly she wraps her arms around his neck, and kisses him, closing her eyes. He is caught off guard, but reflexively returns the kiss and puts his arms around her... Outside, the door closes. She breaks away and exits back into the office. Frasier stands there, totally bewildered. He feels his lips for a moment as if to check to see if it really happened. Then he follows her into the office. RESET TO: Office The cleaning lady is gone, and Julia is back typing at the computer. Frasier: What was that? Julia: What? Frasier: You kissed me. Julia: I was trying to shut you up. Frasier: Oh, no. I've been kissed to shut me up before. This was not that. The computer beeps. Julia: Got it. All files deleted. [pause] You know, that didn't make me feel as good as I thought. Frasier: That's because you know you did the wrong thing. Julia shoves the contents of the desktop onto the floor, breaking the computer and scattering files. Julia: [happy] Ah, that's better. She runs out, followed by Frasier. End of Act One ACT TWO [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Five - Caf Nervosa The caf is still packed. Frasier is seated at a table when Roz comes in. Roz: Well, it doesn't look like I'll be leaving KACL anytime soon. [crosses to the counter] Coffee to go, please? Frasier: Well... dear lord, what-what happened, Roz? Roz: [sits with him] Turns out the person who's interviewing me is a guy I've slept with. Frasier: What are the odds? Roz: [gives him a look, then] It was ten years ago, at a convention in Cancun. We were all hammered. Frasier: Oh, I'm surprised you even remember him. Roz: Well, it's hard to forget when you wake up with a nametag on your pillow that says, "Hola! My name is Woody Wiswell." Frasier: So what's the problem? Roz: There's just something weird about it. I don't know, maybe I'm just freaking myself out because I'm not sure I'm ready for this job. Frasier: Well, of course you are, Roz. I mean, come on, don't doubt yourself. Listen, they're the ones that called you, right? Roz: Yeah. Frasier: You go down there and you get that job. You're going to make a great program director. Roz: You really think I will? Frasier: Of course I do. Even though... I wish you could stay with me forever. I'm going to miss you so much, Roz. Roz: [excited] Oh, stop it! I don't even have the job yet, you're gonna jinx it! [a waiter brings her coffee] Thank you. [to Frasier] Listen, I'd better go and get my presentation together so I can impress Woody Wiswell. Frasier: Seems to me you've impressed him already. As Roz leaves, she passes Julia, entering. Frasier: Julia- Julia: [quickly] Hello. [crosses to the counter] Can I have a latte to go, please? Frasier gets up and stands beside her. Frasier: Listen, Julia, Julia, I've been dying to talk to you all week long about what happened in Avery's office. Obviously something is going on, and I have several hypotheses. [Julia gets her coffee and starts adding sugar] It could be displaced passion, frustration from a failed relationship, or an adrenaline-induced action as a result of stress we were both suffering from... Julia: [finishes] Oh, Frasier, for once in your life, would you please shut up? She exits, passing Martin and Niles entering. Julia: Hello. Martin/Niles: Oh, hi./Hello. Frasier: Hi, guys. Niles: Hey, Frasier. Martin: Hey, Fras, you look a little down. Everything okay? [to a waiter] Uh, two coffees, please. Frasier: Dad, if you had any perspicacity whatsoever, you would know that this expression is merely ruminative perplexity. Martin: My bad. They sit. Frasier: It's nothing serious. I'll work it out. Niles: You know where I like to work things out? The shooting range. Frasier: Good Lord, Niles, are you still going down there? I thought you hated guns. Niles: Oh, believe me, I never expected I'd like it as much as I do. But when you're in that booth, focused on-on precision, and accuracy, it's not dissimilar to a kind of meditation. [Frasier looks intrigued] Wouldn't you agree, Dad? Martin: [shrugs] I just like to shoot stuff, son. Niles: Fair enough. [to Frasier] You should join us. There's a great bunch of guys I shoot with. I think you'd like them. Frasier: Well, I'm not sure I'd fit in with a bunch of trigger-happy gun nuts. Niles: Now, don't stereotype them. These are decent family men who enjoy marksmanship. It's a good group we've got. Dad and I are going down this afternoon. Martin: No, I don't think I'm going to come today, Niles. Niles: Well... it's Mitch's birthday. Martin: Well, I usually go shooting twice a year or so, and after this week I've had my fill. [the waiter brings their coffees] Thank you. Niles: Well, I'm still going. My shooting's getting better and better. Oh, plus the gun show's in town and the guys are bringing me passes. Frasier: A gun show? What's next, square dancing? Niles: Maybe. [raises his cup] This country was built by gun-totin' square dancers. Martin clinks his cup against Niles's. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Six - Woody Wiswell's Office Roz, dressed professionally in a suit, is seated in front of Woody Wiswell, a good-looking man with a permanent friendly smile. Roz: So, I really appreciate you bringing me in for this interview. I've been listening to your station for a while, and I've prepared a little presentation that I think will show you what I can bring to the KPXY family. Woody: Oh, that's not necessary. I mean, this is just a formality. Trust me, I know what you can do. Roz: [wary] Really? Woody: Yeah. I, uh, I already told the guys about you. Roz: What exactly did you tell them? Woody: Oh, you know - how incredible you are. Roz: Okay, look, I-I think there's something that needs to be said here. Why don't we just get it all out in the open? Yes, we slept together in Cancun, but I don't want that to affect the job. I mean, it was ten years ago, I... Woody: What are you talking about? Look, I think you have me mistaken for someone else. Roz: And I think I would remember a name like Woody Wiswell. I mean, seriously, whose named Woody Wiswell? Woody: Yeah, well, just me and my dad. His smile disappears as they both realize. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Seven - Gun Show Daphne looks on uncomfortably as Niles examines a- Daphne: Darling, I just don't think you need an ankle holster when you don't even own a gun. Niles: Well, first of all, who says it's for me, Miss I-Never-Surprise- You-Anymore? And second of all, I'm thinking I might own a gun soon. Daphne: [firmly] No, you won't. Niles: No, no, no, don't worry. I, I would keep the gun in a locker at the shooting range. I would never have a gun in the same house as your mother. Martin comes over, looking disappointed. Martin: Now they're saying Daisy Duke might not get here. Niles pats him on the shoulder. Red, Mitch, and Wayne come over. Red: Hey, how's it going, kid? Niles: Hey, you guys, how are you? Oh, listen, I want you to meet my wife, Daphne. Daphne, this is Red, and Wayne, and Mitch. These are the guys I was telling you about. Daphne: Nice to meet you. [they ad-lib hellos] Red: Listen, kid, we've been talking it over, and since we get along so well at the club, we'd like to invite you down to our compound in Idaho for a weekend. For Martin and Daphne, this immediately sets off alarm bells. Niles: [thrilled] A compound? [to Martin and Daphne] It's just like the Kennedys! [to the guys] That sounds smashing. Red: Hey, that's the spirit. Mitch: See, I told you. Hey, look, you're good at math, right? [Niles shrugs] Come help me guess how many shells are in that jar so I can win the ATV? Niles: Oh, excuse me. [as he follows Mitch] What kind of TV? [N.B. All-Terrain Vehicle - a military transport.] Red: [to Daphne] Nice to meet you, ma'am. Martin: Oh, uh, Red, hold on a second. Uh, just what kind of place do you guys have in Idaho? Red: Run-of-the-mill compound in the wilderness - free country where we live by the true Constitution. He and the guys move off with Niles. Daphne: They're those militia people! You fix this, now. Niles comes back. Niles: This is fun, huh? Martin: Uh, son... Daphne: What your father means is, you shouldn't be friends with these people. Martin: Yeah, these are not your kind of guys. Niles: Why not? Martin: Well, let's just go and we'll talk about it in the car. Niles: Oh, I can't believe you two. You're always telling me my friends are too artsy and too snooty. Now I finally have friends who are regular guys, and you don't like them either? Well, I'm having a good time, and I'm enjoying being a regular guy myself. Martin: Niles, we think they want to overthrow the government! Niles: That's what you say about public television. Now, if you'll excuse me? He goes over to where Red and the guys are examining a brochure. Niles: Hey, guys, whatcha doing? Red: We're chipping in for this gas-powered generator. We're going to need it when it comes time for the New World Order. Niles: Well, that sounds great, excuse me just a second. He turns back to Martin and Daphne. Niles: Okay, they're militia. Martin: Yeah. Niles: Go, go, go, go, go.... They make a hasty exit. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Eight - Radio Studio Frasier is talking to Roz in her booth. Roz is still wearing her suit. Frasier: I just don't understand how this sort of thing can happen. Don't you look at faces? Roz: It was a long time ago, it was dark. And get off my case because it doesn't matter anyway - I got the job! Frasier: Oh, congratulations, Roz. I'm so proud of you. Now can I tell you how much I'm going to miss you? Roz: Yes. They hug. Roz: It is going to be sad to leave the station. But it's not like I'm leaving town, Frasier. Frasier: I know, I know. Roz: I'll see you. Frasier: See you, Roz. Roz: Bye. Roz exits down the hallway. Julia passes by the booth. Frasier rushes out of the door and calls after her. Frasier: Julia! Julia! Julia! She ignores him and enters his booth from the other door. Frasier: All right. [crosses into his booth] Listen, you can try to avoid me all you like. We are going to talk this thing out. Julia: Fine, fine. Anything to get you off my back. She closes the door and puts her folder down on the console. Julia: I was looking at you in the closet, and thinking how you always try to do the right thing, and I felt a rush of affection for you. Call me cynical, but I've come to accept that most people live by the rule of screw or be screwed. But to see you, and how much you care, and really mean it, I... well, it's endearing. [holds up a finger] Irritating, but endearing. Frasier: Well, you know, I... I am flattered, but there are a lot of genuine people out there. It's just that for whatever reason - fear, anger, hurt - they're afraid to show it... Julia grabs him again and kisses him deeply. He wraps his arms around her. Then they break apart. Julia: [frustrated] Oh, it's just like the feeling you get when you see a cute teddy bear in the store and you want to hug it until its head pops off! By now, Frasier realizes he's on firmer ground. Frasier: Could I possibly irritate you over dinner some night? Julia: [hesitant, but] Well, if anybody could, it'd be you. Frasier: Take your time, work things out. I'm not going anywhere. I realize that you're in a vulnerable place right now, and that... She puts one arm around his neck and gives him a quick peck on the lips. Frasier: Oh, I recognize that one. That was to shut me up. Julia: Yeah. [starts to leave, then] Maybe Thursday. She exits the booth and walks back down the hallway. Frasier, smiling, turns and gives a little smitten wave as she passes by the booth. [SCENE_BREAK] End of Act Two [SCENE_BREAK] Caf Nervosa The caf is still packed, but then the crowd notices Gertrude enter. She goes into the back room and puts on her apron for work. But when she comes back to the counter, she sees the last of the customers filing out the door and the caf is empty. Gertrude shrugs and starts to clear the tables.

Julia ( Felicity Huffman ) has finished her affair with Frasier's accountant, Avery, and is vacillating between depression and anger. Frasier offers his support, even despite her determination to break into Avery's office and cause chaos. During this escapade, they are forced to hide in a closet to avoid detection, and Frasier is surprised when Julia kisses him. She insists it was to keep him quiet, but he believes there must be more to it, and spends days trying to persuade Julia to talk it over with him. He also has to come to terms with the possibility that Roz may be leaving KACL, as she has been offered a job at another radio station as a program director. She in turn is worried because it appears she may have encountered the interviewer before, romantically. Meanwhile, Niles has discovered an unexpected enthusiasm for firearms .

fd_Once_Upon_A_Time_05x08

fd_Once_Upon_A_Time_05x08_0

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Merlin: Emma, there is a way to make Excalibur whole again. A spark from mankind's original fire, the Flame of Prometheus. Its heat forged Excalibur. Hook: You know I'm a survivor. This ring is why. Be careful, Emma. Zelena: What an ingenious recipe for a tethering potion. It can control the world's greatest wizard. King Arthur: Merlin! How kind of you to come when called. Queen Guinevere: You lied to him, to David. King Arthur: And it brought me no pleasure. He's a good man. But I must think of my kingdom first. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Present time. Woods. [SCENE_BREAK] David: That's Arthur's tent. I'll go in first. You two stand guard. ( Gun cocks ) Robin Hood: And if our dishonest king should put up a fight? Hook: We'll make him wish he hadn't. David: Arthur. King Arthur: David! Good to see you, my friend. Come, sit. Join us. David: Why don't you explain why you lied to me? Why you tried to burn the Crimson Crown. King Arthur: So, you found me out. David: Yeah, I found out... Friend. King Arthur: Now, that part was real. Ah, it doesn't matter. Not anymore. ( Sighs ) But I want answers. See... There was a message in there for Merlin. It said there was only one person who could destroy the Dark One, named Nimue. You tell me who that is. King Arthur: ( Grunts ) David: He's getting away! ( Grunts ) ( Breathing heavily ) ( Panting ) ( Arthur runs through the woods with Hook in hot pursuit. Arthur trips over a log, but trips up Hook when he approaches. ) King Arthur: Look at that. Seems you brought a hook to a sword fight. Hook: Actually, I brought a sword, but I seem to have misplaced it. King Arthur: Shame. It's always the simple mistakes that get us killed. ( Grunts ) [Arthur moves to smite Killian, and Emma appears, blocking his sword with Excalibur.] King Arthur: Excalibur. ( Breathing shallowly ) It's whole. Emma: Yes, it is. But it's not going to help you. This sword doesn't control anyone now. King Arthur: Aah! ( Grunts ) ( Emma throws Arthur against a tree. ) Hook: ( Breathes deeply ) I suppose I should say "thank you." Emma: You don't need to say anything. Just don't do that again. Hook: I should apologize for what I said that day aboard my ship. Emma: For when you refused to accept me or when you said you did not love me? Hook: It's a bit more complicated than that. Emma: Doesn't matter. I'm the Dark One. Hook: You're more than the Dark One. You're still you. You saved me. That was Emma. Emma: What do you want from me? Hook: I want to help you. And I need your help to do it. Who is Nimue, and how can she defeat the darkness? Emma: Nimue doesn't matter anymore. This will all be over tomorrow. Hook: What will be over? And why do you need that damned sword? Ah. All this power, and you don't even have the courage to answer one simple bloody question. Why do you need Excalibur? I know you're still in there, Emma, and I know that despite everything, you always have your reasons! Emma: You're right! I do! You want to know why I'm doing all of this? I'm doing it for you. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Camelot. Three weeks ago. Granny's [SCENE_BREAK] Henry: Mom, did you do it? Did you find the Spark of... Emma: Prometheus, yes. Now we can use it to fix Excalibur. Granny: Finally some good news. Henry: That's great, Mom. Let's get that darkness out of you. Emma: Yes, let's. Where's the sword? Henry: I don't know. No one's come back with it. Emma: Really? They should've been back hours ago. Have you seen Merlin? Henry: I thought he was with you. Emma: He was, but then he vanished. Something's wrong. I don't think we're safe here anymore. Granny, let's close up shop. Granny: One step ahead of you. Henry, lock the front. I got the back. [Granny throws the key to Henry, but they are both frozen by magic.] Emma: Henry? Merlin: He'll be fine once we're done. I'm sorry for the theatrics. It's not usually my style, but... I had to follow orders. Emma: Orders? Who's orders? Merlin: Arthur's. My wayward pupil has done something I did not foresee. He's tethered me to Excalibur. Arthur has ordered me to re-forge Excalibur into a whole sword, which means I will need your dagger and the Promethean Flame. Emma: No. Merlin: Then he will order me to kill your family, and Emma, as much as I hate it, I will obey him. Emma: Arthur has my family? Merlin: Yes. Because of me. I'm sorry. He wants to make a trade in the heart of the Caledonian Forest in one hour... Their lives for the dagger and the flame. Emma: That's not enough time. This isn't even a flame yet. Merlin: I've seen the strength in you, Emma. When you're ready to light the spark, it will burn. And Arthur will have what he wants. The sword will be whole once again. Emma: So, I'm just supposed to give up without a fight? Merlin: Acceptance is a form of strength. I know the darkness lives in you, Emma, but I beg you, please. Do not seek vengeance. Do not make the same mistakes as Nimue. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Present time. Jail. Arthur is in a cell. [SCENE_BREAK] Hook: Who is Nimue? What the hell happened back in Camelot? King Arthur: I wish I knew. That blond demon took my memory, same as yours. Hook: The why destroy Merlin's message? What aren't you bloody telling us?! David: That's enough! He doesn't know anything. He's a king with no kingdom. As much as he hates it... He's not important anymore. Regina: Feel any better? Hook: I'll feel better when I have some answers. Emma said this whole thing was about me. Regina: ( Chuckles ) Are you really that naive? She's manipulating you. That's what the Dark One does. Hook: No. This was Emma talking. Mary Margaret: There may not be any Emma. Not anymore. Regina: She's right. This Dark One, she has Excalibur, and she is going to destroy all light magic. Hook: So, that's what you think it's about? A sword she hasn't actually used? Regina: Well, obviously, she needs another ingredient to cast the spell. So, we figure out what that is and stop her from getting it. And we get our Emma back. Hook: You can all look at magic spells till you're blue in the face. But something happened between me and her in Camelot. The only way to help Emma is to find out what the hell it was. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Present time. Gold's shop. [SCENE_BREAK] ( Doorbell jingles ) Hook: Crocodile, we need to talk. Mr. Gold: Didn't you hear? I'm not that man anymore. Belle, you can, uh... [Belle lowers a crossbow pointed at Killian.] Belle: Yeah. Sorry, I thought you might be Emma. Hook: It's a good thing I'm not. A crossbow wouldn't do you much good. Mr. Gold: Well, best we could manage. I did have some squid ink set aside for a rainy day, but, uh, unfortunately... she found it. Hook: Dark Ones are clever like that, clever enough to make everyone believe that they've really changed. I need to know what's going on inside Emma's head now. She said she's doing all this because of me. Mr. Gold: This isn't about what you did. It's about what she did. Hook: You're sure of that? Mr. Gold: I've seen the look on her face. One that I-I know only too well... regret. I became the Dark One to save my son. Committed countless sins along the way, convinced myself I would atone for them all once I'd found him. But things never work out the way you think they will. If you want to find out what Emma Swan is after, find out what she's atoning for. Hook: And how do I do that? I've been looking all over for her. She doesn't want to be found. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Present time. Outside Gold's shop. [SCENE_BREAK] Hook: Emma! ( Door closes ) What happened between us? What the hell do you want from me? [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Camelot. Three weeks ago. Outside Granny's. [SCENE_BREAK] Darkness: I wouldn't light that if I were you. Which as a matter of fact, I am. If Arthur uses that to forge Excalibur, he will kill you, and that's bad news for those of us in your head. Emma: I don't have a choice. I need to ignite this spark to save my family. I can't risk their lives. ( Sighs ) What the hell's wrong with this? Darkness: Wrong with it? Or wrong with you? Merlin said you can only light that when you're ready to let go of the darkness. So, perhaps you're not. Emma: You're wrong. Darkness: Well, prove it then, dearie. Light the flame. Go on, do it. Just... just do it. Just... just light it! Emma: I'm trying! Henry: Hey. Emma: Henry. You weren't supposed to see that. Henry: What were you trying to do? Emma: Get this flame lit. Henry: Well, what do the voices say? Emma: That I can't do it because I don't want to give up the darkness. Henry: Maybe you just need a little motivation. Here. I've got something to show you. [Henry hands her a newspaper's wanted ads section with a red circle around one ad.] Henry: A little project Hook and I were working on. Operation Light Swan. He was looking for a house you'd like so when we get back home... Emma: ...he can ask me to move in. Henry: He said that the house is a promise, kind of like a plan for the future. Emma: You know what? That voice in my head was right. I don't want to give up the darkness. Not yet. Henry: What? Emma: I need to use it one last time. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Camelot. Three weeks ago. Woods. [SCENE_BREAK] ( Chains rattle ) Emma: I brought the dagger and the flame, but you don't get it until you free my family. Arthur: No. You will hand it over now, or I unleash Merlin. Merlin: Emma, please. I don't want to fight you. Zelena: No, but I do. So, now that mommy's got her magic back... tell us, Dark One. What are you gonna do? [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Present time. Hospital basement. [SCENE_BREAK] Zelena: And then the witch opened the oven, stoked the flames, ready to put Gretel inside. Oh. Felt that one. You must like this book as much as your mom. Ow! ( Chuckling ) Okay, steady on. Aah! ( Breathing shallowly ) ( Grunts ) Something's wrong. Something's wrong! ( Grunts ) Zelena: Help! I need help! Aah! Somebody help me! ( Cries ) ( Grunts ) Zelena: Let me out! Robin Hood: What's wrong? What happened? Severe Nurse: A bit difficult to explain. You better see for yourselves. Regina: Careful. It could be another one of her tricks. Zelena: ( Grunts, breathing shallowly ) Well, don't just stare! Help me! Robin Hood: How... how has this happened? You're only two months pregnant. Zelena: Well, how do you think? Dark magic. Aah! Regina: Who's dark magic? [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Present time. Roof of the library. [SCENE_BREAK] Hook: Emma Swan! Emma Swan! Emma Swan! I guess we'll have to do this the hard way. [Killian jumps from the roof, and Emma transports him safely to the ground. Emma: You were sure I'd save you? Hook: Well, I'm either optimistic or desperate or both. I need to know what happened between us in Camelot. Just tell me. Emma: It's not that easy. Hook: It can be. Whatever you did, whatever you are trying to atone for, I already forgive you. Emma: I don't need forgiveness. Hook: Then come clean. I assure you, you've done no worse than I. I was a pirate for hundreds of years. Emma: And you think it's the same? Hook: You see this? Belonged to a man named Barnaby. Called me "One Hand Jones." I killed him in front of his wife, took his ring. This one, Edgar. Fine sailor. I caught him drinking the captain's wine. I drowned him. Every ring is a sad story. ( Emma shows the ring that Killian gave her in Camelot. ( Emma: What about this one? Hook: You have it. I thought I lost it in Camelot. Emma: You gave it to me to keep safe. Hook: It's the saddest story of all. Belonged to a better man than I... My brother Liam. Emma: You can have it back now. Hook: Keep it. You know, I used to wear these rings as trophies. But all that changed when I met you. Emma: What are they now? Hook: A reminder. That all sins can be forgiven when someone loves you. And I was absolutely wrong before. I love you, Emma Swan, no matter what you've done. Emma: So, you really want to know the truth no matter how awful? Hook: I do. Emma: Then there's something I need to show you. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Present time. Emma's house. [SCENE_BREAK] Hook: I've already seen your home, Swan. Why are we here? You promised me the truth, not a bloody tour. Emma: The truth is tricky. You have to look for it. Hook: ( Sighs ) All right. I'll play your game. [Killian walks over to the telescope and looks outside.] Hook: Oh. I guess being the Dark One has its perks. That is a stunning view of the sea. There's no sight like a full moon on the waves. Emma: Back in Camelot, you said the ocean calmed you. I thought you might like to see it. Hook: You picked yourself a fine home. I give you that. Emma: I didn't pick it. You did. ( Killian picks up a newspaper's wanted ads section. ) Hook: That's my handwriting. Emma: You said this was our future together. Everything I've done has been to keep that future alive. Hook: Well, then I guess this is the moment that you tell me the truth. Emma: Almost there. Almost. ( Emma kisses Killian. ) Emma: I can't tell you everything that happened between us until it's all over. Hook: Why not? Emma: Because if you knew what I was really after, you'd do everything in your power to stop me. Hook: ( Groans ) ( Grunts ) ( Groans, breathes shallowly ) What did you do? [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Present time. Hospital. [SCENE_BREAK] Robin Hood: You have to stay calm and breathe. Zelena: Shut up! I was a fake midwife. I know the drill. Regina: Zelena, why would Emma do this? Zelena: I have no idea! Regina: Are you sure it was her? Zelena: Let's just say when the Dark One offers you onion rings... Aah!... Don't eat them! Zelena: ( Screaming ) ( Screaming continues ) Dr. Whale: Someone scream for a doctor? Zelena: ( Panting ) There is an angry baby inside of me. Get it out! Dr. Whale: You know, the last time I delivered a baby, you tried to steal it. But why try to steal one when making one is so much more fun, right? Dr. Whale. Regina: We really need another doctor in this town. And what's with the dye job? Dr. Whale: Oh, so... so Emma changes her hair and no one makes a fuss, but I get ridiculed? Yeah? Come on. You know you like it. Zelena: Oh, my God, stop talking! Didn't I kill you the last time I was here? Dr. Whale: No, you just threw me across the room. I hope that doesn't happen again this time. Okay, all business today. Got it. Uh, let's get those vitals going, get that baby out of you. Mary Margaret: Everybody get ready. We have to protect that baby from Emma. Robin Hood: She's here? Belle: She will be soon. And we found that spell to destroy light magic in Merlin's spell book. Mary Margaret: The only thing she needs other than Excalibur is... Regina: Cries of a newborn child. Robin Hood: Well, she's not taking this baby. Not while I'm still alive. Zelena: Regina. Take this cuff off so I can defend myself and my child. Please. Regina: You are far from trustworthy. But worry not. I'll protect the baby. What happens to you, well... Zelena: ( scoffs ) Just do something! ( Screaming ) [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Camelot. Three weeks ago. Woods. [SCENE_BREAK] Zelena: So, Dark One, who should I execute first? Hmm? Your boyfriend or your father? Emma: You can have the flame. Arthur: Zelena, make sure that's real. ( Dark ropes erupt from the box and tie Zelena to a tree. ) Emma: Now you want to give me my family? Or keep fighting? King Arthur: Merlin! Merlin: Please, Emma. Give him the flame. This is a battle you cannot win. ( Crackling ) ( Grunting ) Merlin: I wish you could defeat me, Emma. But I've played this game for too long. ( Emma loses the magical struggle and is knocked back. ) Emma: Aah! ( Grunts ) ( Groans ) Arthur: Merlin, kill her mother. ( Merlin conjures a vine that snakes around Mary Margaret's neck. ) Mary Margaret: ( Gasps ) David: Mary Margaret! Robin Hood: It's no good. They're too strong. Regina: Keep trying. Emma: Merlin, you have to fight it. Merlin: I can't! Mary Margaret: ( Gasping ) Emma: You are the greatest sorcerer that has ever lived. If you cannot fight off the darkness, no one can. Merlin: Aah! ( Gasping ) Arthur: I said kill her! By the sword, I command you! Kill her! Merlin: I can't hold him off much longer. ( Killian removes his hook and escapes his chains. ) King Arthur: You... will... kill her. Hook: Not today, mate. King Arthur: Aah! ( Grunts ) ( Killian steps on Arthur's hand to keep him from picking up Excalibur. ) Hook: I know someone else who needs that. ( Arthur unties Zelena. ) King Arthur: Get us out of here. ( Whoosh ) Snow White: ( Groans ) Mary Margaret: I'm okay. Emma: Thank you. Hook: Easy, Swan. You got tagged pretty good there. Emma: So did you. Hook: This thing? Well, I've had worse cuts itching my nose with the wrong hand. Emma: Shh. Hold still. Hook: Thank you. Didn't even sting. Look at that. There's a sword. Emma: Killian, we did it. Now all I have to do is light the spark and then we can get the darkness out. Hook: Well, then let's do it and go home. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Camelot. Three weeks ago. Granny's [SCENE_BREAK] Henry: You punched him? Awesome. Hook: Gave him a left hook, if you know what I mean. David: Well, the woods are clear. Zelena and Arthur must have retreated somewhere far from here. Belle: I'm afraid Merlin won't be much help. Resisting Excalibur has taken its toll on him. Regina: And Emma? How's she doing with the spark? Mary Margaret: Well, she said she needed some time alone. She took it outside. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Camelot. Three weeks ago. Outside Granny's. [SCENE_BREAK] Regina: Need a light? Emma: Regina. Regina: I thought you could use a friend. Emma: ( Sighs ) He's playing with me. He said I can't light it because I'm not ready to let go of the darkness. Regina: Are you? Emma: Regina. Regina: Hey. No one knows the lure of darkness better than I do. You can lie to your parents, you can lie to yourself. But you can't lie to me. Emma: I don't know. Regina: Feels good, doesn't it? Indulging every impulse, wielding great power, doing whatever you want. Emma: Yes. Yes, it does. Is that wrong? Regina: ( Sighs ) Of course it is. But it's also human. Look, I know you, Emma. It took a long time, but I really know you. And you're not as weak as I once was, so if you're clinging to the darkness, you have good reason, and it's beyond temptation, so what is it? Emma: I don't know. Regina: There's a difference between not knowing something and not wanting to admit it. Those walls you put up, Emma, it's time they come down. ( Regina grabs the Dark One dagger. ) Emma: What are you doing? Regina: Helping you break the walls. As your friend, I command you, Dark One, tell me, why are you so afraid to give up the darkness? Emma: Once I let it go, I won't be able to protect my family. Regina: That's another wall, Emma. Now... the truth. Emma: It is. Regina, please. Regina: No, it's not. You just have to be brave enough to knock down all those walls you're hiding behind. The dagger can make you look, but you... you have to choose to see. Now come on. Come on, Emma. See. Tell me what you're really afraid of! David: Regina, what are you doing? Regina: I'm getting answers. Hook: By controlling her? That's enough. Regina: ( Scoffs ) Hook: Are you all right? Mary Margaret: You really think you're helping her by being cruel? Regina: I wasn't cruel. I've been cruel. And trust me, you'd know it. I was getting to the truth. It's not my fault that it's painful. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Present time. Hospital. [SCENE_BREAK] Zelena: ( Grunts ) ( Panting ) Dr. Whale: Push. Zelena: ( Groans ) Dr. Whale: You're almost there. You're doing great. One more push. ( Grunts ) ( Baby crying ) Dr. Whale: Congratulations. It's a baby girl. ( Crying echoes ) Regina: I can't believe it's come to this. Am I really helping Zelena? Mary Margaret: It's the right thing to do, Regina. So, are you ready to meet the newest member of your family? Regina: Honestly... I don't know. ( Knock on door ) Regina: Robin. Robin Hood: Regina. I have a daughter. Regina: ( Chuckles ) That's wonderful. Zelena: Look who's green with envy now? ( Whoosh ) Emma: Look who's glowing. Congrats. Robin Hood: I will not let you take this baby. Regina: Not without a fight. Emma: That would be a problem if it was the baby I was after. [Emma disappears with Zelena.] Hook: ( Grunts ) [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Present time. Emma's house. Basement. [SCENE_BREAK] Hook: ( Coughs, groans ) ( Sighs ) ( Breathing heavily ) Zelena. Why are you here? Zelena: Your insane girlfriend sped up my pregnancy, kidnapped me right after giving birth, and separated me from my little girl. And they say I'm wicked. Hook: Why would she do that? What does she need you for? Zelena: From the looks of things, she's casting a spell to steal my magic. Hook: Why does she need more dark magic? ( Whoosh ) Emma: I don't. I'm not taking Zelena's magic. I'm giving her mine instead. Zelena: What? Emma: Killian, you were right. My plan is not to destroy light magic. It's been to destroy dark magic... The dark magic that's inside of me. Hook: If that were true, why keep it secret from me or the rest of your family? Emma: Because I knew you would never let me do what was necessary to get the job done. Zelena: And that's where I come in. Emma: Yes. The darkness needs to be contained in a vessel... you. Hook: Emma, what are you going to do? Emma: What needs to be done. I'm going to cut her down with Excalibur's enchanted blade, and the darkness will be vanquished forever. Zelena: That's why you needed my baby out. Emma: I don't want anyone to get hurt who doesn't have to. There are limits. Hook: You call those limits, Emma? You're still talking about cold-blooded murder. Emma: Killian, she killed Neal and Marian. Given time, she will kill you, too. Zelena: After today, you can be certain. Hook: This isn't about Zelena, Emma. It's about you. We went to Camelot for Merlin's help. Surely he has a solution to the darkness that doesn't require this. Emma: Merlin can't help us anymore. Hook: Why not? What happened there? Why are you really doing this? [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Camelot. Three weeks ago. Outside Granny's. [SCENE_BREAK] Hook: There you are. Been looking everywhere for you. Emma: Dagger's right here. Regina was going to use it on me. Why not you? Hook: What she did was wrong. I'm sorry it had to happen. Emma: It's funny. I'm not. She was right. I do know why I'm scared to let go of the darkness. Because of her, I finally admitted it to myself. Hook: What are you so afraid of, love? Emma: This. Our future. Hook: I see you talked to Henry. Sometimes I forget that boys can't keep secrets. Emma: Don't blame him. He just thought it would help if I knew what I had to look forward to when we got home. Hook: What are you trying to tell me? That you can't ignite the Promethean Flame because you're afraid to take the plunge and move in with me? Emma: It's not about moving in. It's... everything. When I told you I loved you back in Storybrooke, it was because I thought I was never going to see you again. It was the same way with Neal. I could only admit my true feelings when I thought I was losing him... and you. Hook: Well, I guess it's even worse than I thought. You can't even see any future at all with me. Emma: That's not it. Don't you get it? I'm afraid because I do want a future with you. Hook: You do? Emma: Yes. And the minute you take away the darkness, that future begins. I know it sounds crazy. Hook: Doesn't sound crazy at all, Emma. That sounds like music to this pirate's ears. You just have to trust me. The future's nothing to be afraid of. [The Promethean flame ignites when Emma and Killian kiss.] Hook: See? [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Present time. Outside Emma's house. [SCENE_BREAK] Mary Margaret: I don't understand. How can Emma destroy light magic using Zelena? Regina: She can't. David: What is she planning? Regina: Your guess is as good as mine. All I know is no one hurts my sister but me. Mary Margaret: What are you planning to do once you find Emma? Regina: Oh, it's simple. I'm going to show the Dark Swan what dark magic really looks like. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Present time. Emma's house. Basement. [SCENE_BREAK] Zelena: Do you hear Emma pacing around up there? You're her boy toy. What do you think she's up to? Hook: I'm no one's toy. We need to find a way to get rid of these iron shackles before Emma gets back. Zelena: Those shackles aren't the problem. This one is. When Regina put it back on, she enchanted my wrist, and I can't cut it off. Without magic, we're never gonna get out of here alive. Hook: It's a good thing I happen to have some then. Zelena: What? You've got magic? Hook: No. My hook does. As you recall, I imbued it with magic to rip your heart out. Zelena: Well, go on, then. What are you waiting for? The last time I tried helping you, you betrayed me. How do I know I can trust you now? Zelena: You don't. But you also don't have a choice. Hook: Fair point. Well, then, here's to trust. Zelena: ( Sighs ) ( Whoosh ) [Zelena transforms into Wicked Witch clothes.] Zelena: Ahh. Ahh. Ooh. Feels so good to be back. Now, about that deal we made. ( Whoosh ) Zelena: Shall we get out of here? [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Present time. Outside Emma's house. [SCENE_BREAK] David: Regina, she's still our daughter. Mary Margaret: We can't go to war with her. Regina: If you don't have the stomach for this... Mary Margaret: I'm not going to hurt her. Regina: This is exactly why she gave me the dagger. She knew I'm the only one who could do what has to be done. Now, stand back, or I'll make you stand back. Mary Margaret: No, we are coming with you. And not only will we stop her, we will save her. ( Door opens ) Emma: I don't need saving. You're gonna have to trust me. By the time I'm done with Zelena, you'll all be thanking me, especially you, Regina. Regina: And why would I thank you? Emma: You don't remember this, but back in Camelot, you helped me admit some things about myself. And now I'm ready to repay the favor. Because deep down, we both know you'll be happier when Zelena is gone. Regina: Gone? This is not the way, Miss Swan, and you know it. Emma: We're back to Miss Swan? Regina: Well, start acting like Emma again and we'll talk. Emma: I am Emma. ( Emma thrusts the reunited Excalibur into the sidewalk, which puts a magical barrier around the house and freezes her family. ) [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Present time. Emma's house. [SCENE_BREAK] Zelena: Good, she's busy. We'll have to sneak out the back. Hook: I'm not coming with you. Zelena: Are you joking? I actually keep my word, and you decide to go down with the ship. Hook: If I don't stop Emma, she'll just find somebody else to put her darkness into, and if I leave now, I may never get the answers I need. Zelena: And how are you going to get them? I don't think she's in a sharing mood. Hook: Emma stole squid ink from Gold's shop. If I can find it, then I can get her to tell me what I want. Zelena: Well then, you better hope she doesn't find you first. Ta-ta. ( Hook searches, and removes a painting from the wall. ) ( Door opens, closes ) Emma: Really? I was trying to help you. Hook: Swan. ( Hook sees the squid ink taped to the back of the picture and throws the contents of the bottle at Emma. ) Hook: I'm sorry, love. You've left me no choice. Regina was right. You are a villain now, and now you're gonna tell me exactly what happened in Camelot to make you that way. How are you going to make me do that? Zelena: I've got some ideas. I see you found the squid ink, Captain. Hook: Zelena, why the hell did you come back? Zelena: I thought about how you said you couldn't run until you got some answers, and I realized I couldn't run either... Not without making the Dark One pay. Emma: Whatever you think you're doing... No! No! ( Zelena stabs Killian in the chest with a knife. ) Hook: ( Grunts ) Zelena: ( Laughs ) I bet you didn't see that coming, did you? Of course that's nothing compared to the surprise that you're feeling right now. You're saying to yourself, "I just got stabbed in the chest. Why shouldn't it hurt more? Why am I not dead?" Hook: What the hell is happening? Answer me, Witch! Zelena: Well, you could take my word, or you could return the memories that the Dark One stole. See for yourself. I found this outside. Emma: Don't trust her. I can explain everything, Killian. Hook: ( Breathes shallowly ) Do it. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Camelot. Three weeks ago. Granny's. [SCENE_BREAK] Merlin: Are you ready? Emma: Yes. Then it's time to destroy the darkness once and for all. ( Crackles ) Hook: Bloody hell. ( Hook collapses before Emma can reunite the sword. ) David: Hook, what's wrong? Mary Margaret: He's bleeding! Hook: ( Groans ) Emma: Killian. ( Breathing heavily ) No. Regina: When did that happen? Emma: It was Excalibur. But it was just a small cut. I healed it. Merlin: I'm afraid it only seemed that way. Excalibur was forged to cut immortal ties. A wound from it cannot be healed. Mary Margaret: What? There has to be something we can do, that she can do. Merlin: Even Emma's power isn't strong enough, nor is my own. Emma: Killian, you have to hold on. I can't lose you. Hook: ( Weakly ) It's all right. Emma, it's all right. Emma: No. Please, no. Don't leave me. You have to stay. You have to stay. Come on, Killian. What about our future together? Hook: Our future is now. Reunite the blades so I can see them before I go. ( Grunts ) Emma: No! Regina: No? Emma: I'm not gonna let him die when I know there's a way to save him. Regina: Emma... Merlin said it. There's nothing you can do. Emma: That's what he said, but it's not true, is it? You told me how powerful I am. Let's use that power. I-I can use the Promethean Flame to release you from Excalibur, and then I can use it to tether Hook's life to it instead. It could save him. Merlin: Emma, you know what that could do. Regina: Create another Dark One. Merlin: It will multiply the darkness so that it cannot be destroyed. Not without you paying the steepest of prices. It will be your final step into the dark. Emma: I don't care what happens to me. David: Emma, wait. Mary Margaret: Please. Listen, you can't. Regina: Emma, your parents are right. Emma: If you could've saved Daniel or Robin... Look how far you were willing to go, how far you pushed me to save him! ( Voice breaking ) I'm not gonna lose Killian. I won't let anyone stop me. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Camelot. Three weeks ago. Middlemist field. [SCENE_BREAK] Hook: ( Weakly ) Emma. Emma: Killian. Hook: ( Grunts ) Emma: You're going to be okay. Hook: No, please. You have to let me go. ( Groans ) I don't want to pay this price. I don't... I don't want to become that. Emma: You won't. You can fight the darkness. I can help you. We can do it together. Hook: I'm not as strong as you are... or Merlin. I'm weak. The things I've done... I've done. I've succumbed to darkness before in my life. And it took centuries to push it away. I don't know if I can do it again. Emma: But our future... Hook: I'll just be happy knowing that... that you have one. Aah! Emma: That's not enough for me! ( Crying ) [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Camelot. Three weeks ago. Granny's. [SCENE_BREAK] ( Buzzing ) ( Whoosh ) Robin Hood: What's happening? Merlin: It's too late. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Camelot. Three weeks ago. Middlemist field. [SCENE_BREAK] Hook: ( Sighs ) Emma: I'm so sorry, Killian. But I did not have a choice. Hook: No, no, no. No, there has to be some other explanation. Zelena: Aww. Are you finding the truth hard to swallow? Here. Have a look at the sword. A glamour spell. ( Chuckles ) It was there the whole time right under your nose, and you didn't even see it. ( Laughs ) Ooh, I suppose it's not the Dark One anymore, is it? More like the Dark Ones. Hook: So, that's why you saved my life twice tonight. I was never in any danger. You just wanted to keep me from the truth. Emma: I wanted to fix it first to make up for what I had done. Zelena: By killing me? How sweet. Emma: It was the only way to destroy the darkness in both of us. Everything I've done since we got back to Storybrooke was to try to save you, Killian. Hook: This is saving? How could you do this to me? Emma: I'm sorry. Hook: So much for our future, Swan. Zelena: ( Chuckles ) Now, tell me. Are you ready to learn what else happened in Camelot? Hook: Aye. But first we have to take care of her.

In Camelot, after saving her family and friends from Arthur and Zelena, Emma struggles to rid herself of dark magic. She's holding herself back due to fear of commitment with Hook. She works through the fear and attempts to meld Excalibur, but Hook falls to the floor. Facing his death, Emma conjures the dark magic from the sword and instills it in Hook. He is reborn a Dark One. In Storybrooke, our heroes confront the treacherous Arthur. He gets the drop on Hook, but Emma swiftly subdues him. She claims that all she's done has been for Hook then disappears. While Hook is in search of answers and a way to get Emma's attention, Zelena's pregnancy is suddenly expedited, giving birth shortly after. Believing Emma wants the baby, Regina and Robin rally defences, but she takes Zelena instead. Emma reveals her plan to transfer all dark magic to a vessel, Zelena, to rid the world of it forever. While she is away, Hook and Zelena escape. Zelena reveals to Hook one of Emma's dreamcatchers, enlightening him to his dark predicament.

fd_How_I_Met_Your_Mother_03x04

fd_How_I_Met_Your_Mother_03x04_0

EXT. NEW YORK CITY Future Ted VO: It was Saturday night in New York City and the young metropolitan set was out on the town, living the kind of crazy lifestyle you can only find in the Big Apple. INT. APARTMENT (Ted, Barney and Robin throw peanuts into Marshall's mouth) Robin, Ted: 97, 98, 99, 100! Lily: 100! We only got to 82 on our honeymoon. (Barney laughs) Lily: So, Robin, I've got a guy for you. He's cute, he's funny, he's smart. Ted: What's his 'but'? Lily: What do you mean? Ted: When someone wants to set you up they always tell you the good qualities first but then they leave out their huge flaw. (flashback to MacLaren's, Barney telling Ted about a girl) Barney: She's totally hot and really fun. Barney: (to himself) But she has a dead tooth. (flashback to MacLaren's, Marshall telling Ted about a girl) Marshall: She's superhot and she's so successful. Marshall: (to himself) But she has a pug that she pushes around in a stroller. (flashback to MacLaren's, Lily and Ted sit at booth, Lily tells Ted about a girl) Lily: She's so cute and she's so smart. Lily: (to herself) But her last boyfriend had to get a restraining order against her and then his cat and new vacuum cleaner both went missing. Ted: Wow, set it up. (back to present scene) Ted: I'm still convinced she killed my turtle. Robin: Hey, you know what, not every setup has a 'but'. What about, um, Jamie, that girl that Lily set you up with? She was really nice. Barney: If memory serves me, she had a huge 'but'. Her huge butt. Nailed it! (Ted and Barney hit fists) Lily: Well, there's nothing wrong with this guy. He's really nice and he's really cute. Ted: But? Lily: Fine, but he has a kid. Marshall: Oh. Ted: Aha! There it is. Robin's not going out with a guy with a kid. Lily: But the guy is really great. And his kid's sweet, he's in my class. Ted: Doesn't matter. Robin hates kids. Robin: I don't hate kids. Ted: You told me even when you were a kid, you hated kids. (flashback to Little Robin and another little girl, little girl sitting in front of TV, Little Robin sitting behind her reading) Little Girl: Robin, will you watch cartoons with me? Little Robin: I go to school all week. Can't I just have five minutes to myself to read Highlights and drink my juice? (back to present scene) Robin: OK, yes, kids are not my favorite thing in the world but I like them. Ted: Well, you don't wanna have them. Robin: I like sports cars but it doesn't mean I wanna push a Ferrari through my v*g1n* Barney: Shotgun. (Marshall laughs) Marshall: You can't blame us for thinking that the kid would be a problem. I mean, if we were friends with Garfield, we wouldn't set him up on a date with Mondays. Barney: Nice. Robin: You know what, the kid is not a problem. I wanna meet this guy. Lily: OK, that's awesome. Robin: Yeah. Hey, what's my 'but'? You know, I'm really nice, but... Ted: (to himself) But she's afraid of commitment. Lily: (to herself) But she's a gun nut. Barney: (to himself) But she's Canadian. Marshall: (to himself) But she didn't like Field of Dreams. Barney: I can't think of anything. Ted: You don't have a 'but'. OPENING CREDITS INT. MACLAREN'S (Barney walks over to Ted sitting at booth) Barney: OK, I've got it. Here, put on this eye patch. (Barney throws Ted an eye patch) Ted: Why? Barney: The ultimate ice breaker. (Barney puts on his eye patch) Barney: A bunch of cobras got loose in Central Park. You and I are jogging, training for the Death Valley Iron Man. No big deal, we do it every year. Suddenly we see these snake bastards sneaking towards a little baby. Not on our watch. You grab the kid, I strangle six cobras with my bare hands. Women of New York, one at a time please. Ted: So, what are the eye patches for? Barney: We got bit. Ted: On the eye? Barney: Yes. Ted: Both of us. Barney: They're different eyes. I don't see why this bugs you. Patch up! EXT. NEW YORK CITY (Robin and George walking on street) Future Ted VO: So, Robin went on a date with George, the guy with the kid. And afterwards... INT. APARTMENT (Robin enters front door and talks to Lily) Robin: OK, here's the thing, George is a great guy, we had a wonderful date. Lily: But? (flashback to Robin and George walking on street having ice cream on their date) Robin: Great, I can't wait to meet him. (back to present scene) Robin: Can't wait to meet him? Why did I say that? I don't wanna meet his kid. Lily: Well, you knew you'd meet him sooner or later. Robin: I was just hoping for later, like in 20 years when I'm a cougar and he's as hot as his dad. Lily: Robin, What's the big deal? He's just a kid. He's not gonna bite. He may bite. We're working on biting. Robin: Why is this kid around anyway? Shouldn't he be with his mom? What kind of lawyer does this guy have if he has to take care of the kid all the time? Lily: A good one. He won full custody. Robin: He won? He won. Oh God, getting the kid is winning, isn't it? (Lily nods) Robin: Don't tell anyone I said that. INT. MACLAREN'S (Barney and Ted sit at booth) Barney: I'm going out, buying eye patches. What are you doing to help score chicks? Ted: OK, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. People with real game don't need eye patches. Barney: Oh, Theodore... (Barney takes off his eye patch) Barney:...no no no, you can't spell game without me, and me has the best game. Ted: Yeah, well, I got so much game, I'm Cornish game hen. Barney: Oh yeah? I'm the New York state gaming commissioner. Ted: Well, I'm The Game, well-crafted, keep-you-guessing thriller starring Michael Douglas and Sean Penn. Barney: Wow. (Marshall walks over to Ted and Barney's booth) Marshall: Wow. You're here and not in stall two. Ted: Yeah, so? Marshall: I may have made some wildly inappropriate homoerotic comments to a gentleman wearing your shoes. Barney: OK, Marshall. Marshall: Yes. Barney: Which one of us has more game? Marshall: Neither of you guys has any game, right, or else you'd be married like me. Barney: What? Marshall: If dating is the game, then marriage is winning the game. Ted: Yeah, if you're playing in the women's league. Marshall: You're joking. I have mad game, bra. Barney: OK. One, we agreed not to ever say 'bra' anymore. It was a good week, we had a lot of fun, but it's over. Two, you've been with Lily for eleven years. You're idea of good game is slapping on a Dr. Seuss hat and flashing two tickets to a Spin Doctors concert. Ted: I hate to say it, buddy, but you're kinda' irrelevant. Marshall: What? I am not irrelevant. I know tons of stuff. I could help you guys. I don't wanna be left out. Barney: Ted, you do not have more game than me. By sheer numbers alone, I win. Come on, dude, you've seen my list. Marshall: Do you guys wanna hear one of my lines? Ted: First of all, I did not ask to see that list and I am still horrified. True game is about quality, not quantity. And a quality girl would pick me over you any day. Marshall: Are you a model? That one's good because it's flattering to the girl. Barney: Ted, I challenge you to a picking-up-girls Olympiad. Ted: Fine. Barney: There will be 26 events spread out over 11 weeks. We will travel to a neutral city where a panel of international judges... Ted: Or we could just choose a girl and the first one to seal the deal wins. Barney: That's good too. (Barney looks around and sees blonde girl at bar) Barney: How about her? Ted: You're on. (Ted and Barney shake hands) Barney: Before we start, why don't we jot down a few basic ground rules? (Barney hands Ted a pen) Ted: OK, great. Rule number one, no eye patches or props of any kind. (Barney gets up while Ted is writing and approaches blonde girl at bar) Marshall: One time I was with this girl and I tried that model line, and I totally got some over-the-shirt boob action at a Just Say No assembly. Ted: Just stop. You're bumming everybody out. (Blonde girl slaps Barney) Ted: Rule number two, this bet is for one million dollars. (Barney sits back down at booth) Barney: I win. Ted: How? Barney: Oh, I slept with her, about a year ago, I just forgot. Ted: Oh, well, that doesn't count. The bet started the moment we shook. Barney: I can't sleep with her again. She hates me. Ted: Oh, Interesting. Look who just took a commanding lead. Now, with you out of the picture, I can take my sweet time. Marshall: Ted, she's leaving. Ted: Get out of my way. (Ted gets up quickly and follows blonde girl) Barney: By the look of those shoes, here comes your bathroom buddy. (Guy walks over and hands Marshall a card) Marshall: Look who's got game. (Marshall puts card in his shirt pocket) INT. GEORGE'S APARTMENT (George and robin sit at breakfast table drinking wine) George: You're a big kids person, huh? Robin: Only the biggest ever. I think kids are so great. Especially the little ones. You know, uh, pudgy, can't sit up, don't have teeth yet. George: Babies. Robin: Yeah, I like that kind. George: Well, Doug's almost six Robin: Oh, six is great. You are gonna love six. Six is when they really start to... (Robin nods) I hate kids. George: Excuse me, what? Robin: I mean, I don't hate kids. I'm just not a kid person. I mean, yeah, it's cute that their shoes are real little, but beyond that, what's the draw? You must think I'm nuts. George: What? No no no. So you don't like kids, so what? I'm not looking for a mother for Doug. Why don't we just hold off on you meeting him? Robin: Yeah, let's take things slow. Future Ted VO: And, kids, that's exactly what she did. INT. GEORGE'S BEDROOM (Robin lying on bed, George kneels by bed to kiss her) Future Ted VO: Then on a totally different day that was definitely not the next morning, Aunt Robin had to face her worst fear. INT. GEORGE'S APARTMENT (Robin sits at breakfast table alone reading the newspaper, Doug enter, Robin looks up at him and dials her phone) INT. APARTMENT (Lily in kitchen answers her cell phone) Lily: Hey, what's up? (Robin on phone) Robin: It's here, Lily. It's looking at me. The kid, what do I do? (Lily on phone) Lily: Just talk to him. You can do this, Robin. INT. GEORGE'S APARTMENT (Robin hangs up phone) Doug: Who are you? Robin: I'm Robin. Doug: That's a bird's name. Robin: No it's not. It's actually a type of bird. Doug: My friend, Patrick, has a parakeet named Robin, so there. You wanna talk in Morse code? Robin: Dude, I'm just reading my paper. Doug: Beep, beep beep beep, beep beep, beeeep. I'm starving. Can you make me cereal? Robin: Sure. (Robin pours cereal into bowl) Doug: What are you doing? You're supposed to pour milk first? Robin: What? No, you pour the cereal first so you know how much milk you need. Doug: It tastes better milk first. Robin: It all tastes the same once it's in the bowl. Doug: Why are you wearing my dad's pants? Robin: Milk first it is. (Robin dumps cereal into trash can) (Doug eating cereal at table, Robin continues to read paper) Doug: What are you reading? Robin: The business section. The Fed's gonna lower rates again to bail out these subprime lenders, bunch of idiots. Doug: Miss Aldrin says it's not nice to call people names. Robin: Well, maybe if they weren't such idiots, I wouldn't have to call them that. Doug: That's what I said. You're pretty cool. Robin: You too. (scenes of Ted and Stacy's dates - Ted and Stacy sitting in living room watching TV - Ted and Stacy in kitchen cooking - Ted and Stacy on street, Ted giving her a flower) Future Ted VO: Meanwhile, Stacy and I had started dating. Oh, Stacy was the girl from the bar. Anyway, I was close to winning the bet when something unexpected happened, I started to really like her. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MACLAREN'S (Ted and Barney about to sit down at booth, Ted on cell phone) Ted: Well, have fun in yoga. (Ted puts phone down to say something to Barney) Ted: She's strengthening her core. That's gonna be good. (Ted gets back on phone) Ted: Yeah, all right. After a while, crocodile. (Ted hangs up phone) Ted: You see this. Game face. Barney: Whatever, Ted. Ted: Oh, get this, she plays bass in a reggae band. They're having a show this Friday. How cool is that? Barney: Oh, does she know that one song? Mm-hm chaka, mm-hm chaka. What's that song called? Oh, right, it's called every reggae song. (Marshall walks over to Ted and Barney) Marshall: I am not irrelevant. I ran the numbers. If Lily and I have s*x twice a week, which, let's be honest, we all know is being conservative. And we've been together for ten years plus seventeen more times on the honeymoon. Minus the two week drought when I said the checker at the grocery store reminded me of a young Lily. Then we have had s*x a total of...wait for it... Barney: Nice. Marshall: One thousand fifty-three and a half times...my mom called once. But that's more times than Barney has ever had s*x and to your point, Ted, Lily is a quality girl. I win. Lawyered. Barney: Doesn't count. Marshall: Totally counts. Ted: You're right, it counts. It counts as one. You've had s*x once. How was it? Marshall: I still matter. (Marshall walks away) Barney: OK, Ted, go win the bet. You have my blessing. She's a wonderful girl. I should know. Ted: Oh, OK, OK, I see what you're doing. Barney: We've never shared a woman, have we, Ted? Isn't that funny? You're with her now, I was with her a year ago. You figure for her, that's like 200 showers ago. You gotta ask yourself, Ted, is 200 enough? Ted: You know what, I don't mind. Barney: No, of course you don't mind. Just like the second guy to climb Mt. Everest didn't mind getting all the way to the top only to find Sir Edmund Hilary's flagpole thrust into its supple peak. (Ted has a disgusted look on his face) Barney: No, I'm sure when you're with her I'll be the furthest thing from your mind. Kissing what I've already kissed. Nuzzling what I've already nuzzled. Going (lowers head slightly and shakes it vigorously) on what I've already gone (lowers head again slightly and shakes it vigorously) on. Ted: Barney, I'm not afraid of catching your cooties, OK? Barney: Really? Ted's not afraid of cooties. OK, well then I guess you'd have no problem having a sip of my gin and tonic. (Barney holds out his drink to Ted) Ted: Fine. (Ted takes drink and brings it up to his mouth and puts it down on the table) Barney: And I only stirred that with my pinky. INT. APARTMENT (Lily sitting at table grading papers, Robin enters front door) Robin: Guess who loves Robin? Kids, kids love Robin. Doug thinks I'm pretty cool. Lily: Really, that's great. You and George, all thanks to me. Robin: Yeah, I'm gonna have to break up with him. Lily: What? Robin: Well, tt's just getting a little bit too serious with the kid. You know, it's just not what I'm looking for. So, better that I break it off now before he gets too attached. (Lily gives Robin a look) Robin: What? Lily: I hate to tell you this but, too late. (Lily shows Robin a picture Doug drew titled 'My New Mommy') Lily: He drew it in class today. Robin: Oh crap. (back from commercial break) Robin: There's no way that's a picture of me. That woman has on hoop earrings, I don't even own hoop earrings. I have one pair and they're gold. Those are Fruit Loops. Lily: You are so in denial right now. And you're doing what you always do in relationships. The second you get close to a guy, you wanna bail. OK, granted, he's six, but the point stands. Robin: We'll ask the guys. They'll tell you that's not me INT. MACLAREN'S (Marshall, Lily, and Robin sit at booth, Marshall looking at picture) Marshall: That's totally you. Robin: You guys are totally crazy. (Ted sits down and sees picture) Ted: Hey, who drew the picture of Robin? Robin: It's not me. Marshall: You're joking, right? Robin: It's not me. Ted: "My new mommy." Kinda has a nice ring to it. Marshall: Hey, now that you're a mom, are you gonna start wearing those totally awesome jeans that go right up to your boobs? Robin: Do guys really think this is me? Lily: Honey, it's you. And if you're gonna break up with George, you have to break up with his kid too. Robin: Really? Lily: Yeah, you can't just abandon him. You have to talk to him. Come on, Robin, you know it's the right thing to do. Robin: Man. Doug was right, you are a pain in the ass. INT. STACY'S APARTMENT (Ted and Stacy sit on her couch) Stacy: So, I, I had a really nice time tonight. Ted: Me too. Stacy: Yeah? Ted: Mm-hm. (Ted and Stacy close in to kiss, Ted backs up and imagines a little Barney in a safari outfit holding a flagpole sitting on Stacy's lip) Little Barney: Hey, Ted, pucker up all you want but I was here first. (Little Barney plants flagpole into Stacy's lip and laughs, Ted looks at Stacy's lip and then at Stacy and laughs and goes in to kiss her neck but stops because he imagines a Little Barney there) Little Barney: From this spot, I also launched an expedition to those two large ridges down there. (Little Barney pops up from Stacy's cleavage and laughs, Ted looks at Stacy with mouth agape, multiple Little Barney's all over Stacy) Stacy: Uh, Ted, something wrong? INT. GEORGE'S APARTMENT (Doug opens door for Robin) Robin: Hey, Doug. Doug: Are you here to see my dad? He's taking a shower. Robin: Actually, I came to see you. Doug: I wrote a poem, you wanna hear it.? Robin: Sure, why not? Doug: To my new mommy. You're pretty, you're nice, And you smell like daisies. Robin: Oh, that is so sweet, Even though it doesn't rhyme. (Robin sits down) Robin: Look, uh, Doug. There's no good way to say this. Future Ted VO: Aunt Robin didn't know what to say. This kid had never been dumped before. But then she realized this kid had never been dumped before. She could use every clich in the book. Robin: We need to talk. I just think, um, we both could use some space right now. It's not you, it's me. I know this hurts but you deserve someone better. I'm just really trying to focus on my career right now, you know. I just hope we can still be friends. (knock on door, Robin gets up to open door, Brooke stands at front door) Brooke: Hi, I'm Brooke, I'm here for my date with George. You must be the babysitter. (Robin has a flashback of the picture Doug drew and then notices Brooke's hoop earrings, has a flashback of the hoop earrings Doug drew) Brooke: I had so much coffee earlier, I need to run to the loo. Hey Dougie. (Brooke enters apartment and walks over to bathroom) Robin: What the hell was that? Doug: That was my new mommy. Robin: So, this picture is not of me? Doug: Why would I draw a picture of you? Robin: How many dates has she been on with your dad? Doug: Two. Robin: Well, I've been on like five and you like her better? Doug: We just really connected. Robin: And what about me? You think I go around pouring cereal for every boy in town. Doug: Why are you getting so upset, Roberta? Robin: Robin. My name is Robin. Like the bird, remember? Doug: Whatever. Robin: So, that's it, huh? Doug: Look, you're great, but... Robin: Yeah, there's always a 'but'. INT. MACLAREN'S (Ted sits down at booth with Marshall and Barney) Ted: Well, I couldn't do it. I broke up with her. Thanks a lot by the way. A beautiful, sexy girl and all I could think about was you being there first. You were stuck in my head like a Chumbawumba song. Marshall: Which Chumbawumba song? Barney: Well, what an interesting turn of events. It looks like I'm going to win. Ted: What do you mean, win? You couldn't even talk to her. You tried, you got slapped. Barney: That's what you think happened. (flashback to Barney walking away as Ted writes down rules of game) Ted: OK, great, rule number one no eye patches or props of any... (Barney talks to Stacy at bar) Barney: Here's the deal. My friend just got dumped so he's a little shy but he'd love to buy you a drink and get to know you. The problem is he thinks a pretty girl like you won't go for a guy like him. So would you slap me across the face so he could see you're not into guys who feed you lines? What do you say? For my friend? Stacy: You are so sweet. (Stacy slaps Barney) (back to present scene) Barney: So now, whatever nice things Ted does for her, in her mind, I'm the guy who's even nicer than him. Ted: So you never slept with her? Barney: Not even at all. Marshall: Wow, that's good. Barney: It gets better. Remember Ted's phone conversation? (flashback to Ted talking on cell phone with Stacy) Ted: Well., have fun in yoga (back to present scene) Barney: Well? (flashback to Stacy leaving yoga class, runs into Barney) Barney: Oh. Stacy: I'm sorry. Barney: Stacy, right? Stacy: Yeah. Oh, you're Ted's friend from the bar? Barney: Yeah, wait, don't tell me you go to yoga here too? Stacy: I do. (flashback to Ted telling Barney about Stacy) Ted: She plays bass in a reggae band. (back to flashback of Barney and Stacy running into each other outside of yoga studio) Barney: I'm gonna head out to a reggae concert. I'm a huge fan of reggae. Stacy: Oh my gosh, I play in a reggae band. Barney: No way, I wonder why Ted didn't tell me about that. Like I said, I'm a huge reggae fan. I should go inside. (flashback of Ted on phone with Stacy) Ted: After a while crocodile. (back to flashback of Barney and Stacy outside yoga studio) Stacy, Barney: See you later alligator. Barney: We are two peas. (Stacy laughs) Barney: Wow, take care. Namaste. (Stacy and Barney walk away in different directions, Barney tosses yoga mat into trash can) (back to present scene) Ted: You are a sociopath. That was my yoga mat. Barney: So now with Ted out of the picture, I'm gonna swoop in and take the whole thing. Why? Parce que je le jeu me chienne. (Ted and Marshall look confused) Barney: Translation: 'cause I got game, bitches. Ted: No, no, this doesn't prove anything because... (Barney's phone rings) Barney: Hold one, hold on a second. Stacy. (Barney answers phone) Barney: Hey, stace. What happened? He did not. Stay there, I'll be right over. (Barney gets up and leaves) Ted: I should have just worn that stupid eye patch. INT. APARTMENT (Lily and Robin sit on couch, Robin is eating a pint of ice cream) Lily: I can't believe you got dumped by a 6-year-old. Robin: Whatever. He's a stupid head. I'm just, I'm done with kids. Future Ted VO: Of course, Robin eventually made her peace with kids. And as you guys know she went on to appear in some very important works of arts. Yours. (pictures kid drew of 'us and Aunt Robin' in front of house, at zoo, at beach) INT. STACY'S APARTMENT ('one month later,' Stacy practices on her bass while Barney tries not to fall asleep) Stacy: Hey. (Barney wakes up and starts to clap) Stacy: You know, I really appreciate how cool you've been about us taking things slow. Since Ted, you know, I don't really wanna get too physical too fast. Barney: That's what makes you so special, baby. Stacy: Anyway, I am so psyched to be playing Sun Splash tomorrow. We go on sometime between 11 and 6 so you probably wanna get there before nine to be safe. Oh, and it's gonna be muddy. (Stacy pinches Barney's cheek, Barney smiles at her, smile fades as he lies back on couch, Barney imagines Little Ted dancing on Stacy's shoulder and Barney shakes his head)

When "kid unfriendly" Robin surprisingly forms a bond with the young son of the guy she is dating, she decides it is too serious and must figure out a way to let the little guy down.

fd_The_Originals_02x07

fd_The_Originals_02x07_0

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Klaus: I assume I have the misfortune of speaking to my mother. Esther: I have come to heal our family. I will undo everything that has been done, thereby giving you a new life. Kol: You should get out of here. My brother is not the forgiving kind. Davina: I'm not afraid of him. ... I'm about to get even with Klaus, and you're gonna help me. Oliver: You're the Alpha. Our people are not meant to be slaves. You can free them. ( Oliver starts coughing up blood and falls to his knees ) Jackson: Ollie? Esther: I want you to rejoin our family, take the body of a mortal, and we can all be happy again. Ansel: Niklaus... Klaus: You're not real. Ansel: I am flesh and blood, your flesh and blood. ... You are my son. Esther: I brought him here to be the father you never had. Esther: You said you wanted Elijah. He's sleeping. ... When he wakes, he'll make his own decision. [SCENE_BREAK] [ ELIJAH'S DREAM ] ( Elijah is dreaming that he is his teenaged self in the 10th century. He's chasing a young Klaus through the woods ) Young Klaus: You cannot catch me, Elijah! Young Elijah: You're getting faster, Klaus, but you are not yet fast enough! ( Young Klaus giggles as he continues to run through the forest, his voice echoing through present-day Elijah's head. Suddenly, Young Klaus disappears, and Young Elijah stops in the middle of a small clearing ) Young Elijah: Klaus? Niklaus? ( He looks around him until an older, deeper voice calls out to him. It's present-day Elijah, his face and suit splattered in blood. Thunder and lightning crack above them ) Adult Elijah: There you are. ( Adult Elijah approaches Young Elijah, who is getting more scared by the moment ) Adult Elijah: Do you understand? ( He places his hand on the back of Young Elijah's head as his vampire-face comes out ) One day, only a monster shall remain. ( Frightened, Young Elijah grabs his hatchet from his waist, and though Adult Elijah dodges it at first, he's eventually hit in the shoulder with it ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ PRESENT DAY - MIKAELSON COMPOUND ] ( Elijah lays on his bed in the compound, still asleep as he was when he was rescued. He's breathing erratically, covered in a thin sheen of sweat, and his muscles are tense, as though he's being overwhelmed by fear. Klaus stands over him and talks to him, his voice echoing through Elijah's head. In Elijah's dream, he pulls the hatchet out of his shoulder, but Young Elijah runs away before he can catch him ) Klaus: I know you are locked in battle, however deep in your mind our mother has set the stage. Hear my voice. ( Elijah twitches anxiously in his sleep ) Our mother thinks she will win because she has left you alone, but you are not alone. Let me in. ( Klaus puts one hand on his head, and one hand on his chest, hoping to gain entry into Elijah's mind. Elijah's body goes rigid as though he's been shocked and he begins to seize ) Klaus: Let me help end whatever torment she has forced upon you. ( Klaus' nose begins to bleed, and he gets glimpses of the dreams Elijah has been having. Klaus groans in pain as he continues to try to break through, but he's quickly ripped off of Elijah by Hayley ) Hayley: ( confused ) What are you doing? Klaus: ( pants and wipes the blood from his face ) I'm trying to enter Elijah's thoughts to wake him. ( He gestures to Elijah, who is still sleeping fitfully ) Esther's locked me out. ( Hayley walks over to Elijah, noticing a flower petal-shaped wound on his neck ) Hayley: Is this rash a side effect of the witchy acid trip he's on? Klaus: ( frowns and checks the mark ) I haven't seen this since I was a child. Mikael would return home from battle more blindly temperamental than usual, and our mother would use the petals of a rare merlock orchid to put him to sleep. She would mend his mind with a spell, and then wake him with the roots of the same plant. ( He turns to Hayley ) If she has access to it now, then maybe it also grows in the Bayou. You stay here with your wolves and mind the fort. Hayley: ( rolls her eyes ) I'd rather rip your mother's head off. Klaus: ( serious ) Stay clear of her. I mean it, Hayley. She already got to you once. What would happen if Elijah were to wake and find you a victim of her madness? Hayley: ( reluctant ) I won't go after her. I promise. ( Klaus looks at her for a moment before turning and leaving. Hayley turns back toward Elijah and approaches the bed to talk to him ) Hayley: ( quietly ) I've learned a few things from your mother. I won't go after her. I'll go after everything that she loves. [SCENE_BREAK] [ CREDITS ] [SCENE_BREAK] [ THE BAYOU ] ( It is barely sunrise, and Jackson is preparing Oliver's body for his funeral. He wraps it up in white sheet before dousing him in alcohol and putting him in a small boat. Jackson takes a swig of whiskey and pushes the boat out into the lake in the Bayou, lighting it on fire with a lighter to give Oliver a traditional Viking funeral. Later, Oliver's remains are still smoking on the lake while Jackson drinks on the nearby dock. Suddenly, Hayley arrives and stands behind him ) Hayley: ( whispers ) I'm so sorry, Jack. Jackson: ( angrily jumps to his feet ) This is bull, Hayley! Crescent tradition says you have a funeral at dawn, and no one is here! ( Hayley, speechless, remains silent ) That loyalty... ( He stops himself, unable to finish ) ...Loyalty's gone. ( Jackson goes to walk away, but Hayley stops him ) Hayley: We're standing around moping over Ollie's body when there's a war to be fought. I understand that you have to grieve, Jack. You waited for me, so I'll do the same for you. But, our people need their alpha. ( Hayley gently takes the bottle of whiskey out of his hands before putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. After a moment, Hayley leaves him alone to mourn his pack mate ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ MARCEL'S LOFT ] ( Hayley and Aiden have arrived to Marcel's apartment to come up with a plan ) Marcel: Where is your alpha? Hayley: ( sighs ) Unavailable. Marcel: So, you brought Junior Varsity? You know, I'm getting a little tired of you using my place as a den for wayward wolves. Hayley: Well, it was just that we were going to, uh, take down Finn Mikaelson today, and considering how he treated your vampires, I assumed that you would want in on the bloodbath. Marcel: ( clearly interested ) I'm listening. ( Hayley and Aiden sit across from him on the couch ) Aiden: Well... ( clears throat ) It's not gonna be easy. He's surrounded by a pack of juiced-up wolves. He doesn't have a weakness. Marcel: He does, actually! ( He pulls his phone out of his pocket ) And, I have her on speed dial! ( Aiden and Hayley look at him, confused ) He's got a thing for Cami. Hayley: Klaus will go ballistic if we get Cami involved in this. Marcel: Klaus ain't here! And Cami? Well, she's got this thing about people telling her what she can and can't do! ( He dials Cami's number and holds the phone up to his ear ) I trust you, of all people, understand. ( Hayley chuckles ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ VINCENT/FINN'S OFFICE ] ( Vincent/Finn is doodling magical sigils in his notebook while Cami, who stands by the window, talks ) Cami: He hasn't called. He thinks he's protecting me, but... I don't think I want to be protected! Truth be told, I don't think I want to be around him anymore at all. Finn: ( smiles and closes his notebook ) Well, that's a nice piece of progress! ( Cami smiles at him, before awkwardly looking down at the floor ) Finn: What's on your mind? Cami: ( hesitates ) I was wondering... ( She sighs and sits down on the couch ) I know this is, like, horribly unprofessional, but, I was... hoping I could get a new advisor. Finn: ( confused ) You aren't finding our sessions productive? Cami: No! No, that's not it. They've been great! You're... you're really getting to know me. I just... ( she licks her lips nervously ) I wanna get to know you, too. ( Finn looks surprised and smiles, and the two sit awkwardly in silence for a moment ) Cami: ( smiles nervously ) Right, yes. ( She laughs uncomfortably) Mortifyingly unprofessional. I'm gonna go. ( She grabs her purse and heads for the door. Finn, clearly torn, considers this a moment before he jumps up and stops her ) Finn: Uh, Camille! ( She turns back toward him hopefully ) Do you enjoy jazz? ( Cami smiles ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ MOTEL ] ( Davina is looking into a broken mirror as she chants a spell ) Davina: Veretres en un sondre. Veretres en un sondre. ( Kaleb/Kol walks out of the bathroom, having just showered, and watches as Davina's spell begins to repair the broken mirror. He approaches her and leans in close ) Kol: Still at it? ( Davina is so startled that the mirror cracks in the corner ) Davina: ( annoyed ) I'm trying to repair the damage that you did to my de-linking spell! Kol: Oh. ( He looks down at the indestructible white oak stake on the table in front of her, and she snatches it away from him ) Davina: The only reason I'm still shacked up in this dump motel with you is for your freaky witch-encyclopedia brain. Kol: Okay. Well, here's a magical secret from the ancient legends of the Romani psychics... SLEEP, Davina! You've been awake for days. Davina: ( packs up her things ) Kind of hard to rest with a thousand-year-old psycho in the next bed. Kol: ( scoffs ) You say that, I sound like a bit of a creeper! Davina: ( frustrated ) Can you just stop? Kol: Stop what, darling? Davina: Calling me "darling," and trying to be funny, and... ( She's momentarily distracted when she sees that Kol's shirt is open, revealing his bare torso ) ..that. Kol: ( smirks and buttons up his shirt ) Oh! Well, most girls like this. But, then, you're not like most girls, are you? Davina: What I'd like is for you to just stop messing around. ( She continues packing up, and after a moment, Kol stops her ) Kol: Okay, Davina. Alright. I have been trying to charm you. And your resistance is as impressive as it is baffling. But, there are things that we can do. Big things. ( Davina looks at him warily ) I can't share my secrets with you unless we trust each other. Davina: I don't care about your secrets, Kaleb. Kol. ( flustered ) I don't even know what to call you! Kol: Kol Mikaelson. And, if you want to take down Klaus without your friends dying, well, then, you'd be a fool not to listen. ( Suddenly, Kaleb begins to groan in pain and falls to his knees. Davina rushes over to him to find that there are symbols burned/carved into the skin of his forearm. There are Norse runes that spell his name, and a triskelion ) Davina: What's happening? Kol: That's Mother Dearest, calling me home. [SCENE_BREAK] [ THE LYCEE ] ( Lenore/Esther is in the greenhouse, where she has put the same Runic symbol and a triskelion in salt on the table to do her spell. Vincent/Finn watches her work from across the room ) Finn: Well, you always did know how to leave a message, Mother. Esther: ( smirks ) If only all my sons were as respectful as you are. Kol will return home soon, Elijah will wake from his slumber believing the only way to salvage his humanity is to rejoin our family. ( Finn nods in agreement) Which is why it is time you bring Camille in. ( She hands him a small bundle of herbs ) Here. I've spelled this to subdue her without causing bodily harm. Finn: ( unsure ) I thought we had more time. Esther: We don't. Once Klaus has been duly influenced by his father, we will need to act quickly. Finn: No, there's no need for this. ( Esther gives Finn a look ) I can bring her in without it. [SCENE_BREAK] [ THE BAYOU ] ( Klaus is wandering around the Bayou, looking for the merlock orchids to awaken Elijah. As he walks through the forest, an unidentified man stands nearby with a knife in his hand. Eventually, Klaus, noticing the man's breathing and heart beats, vamp-speeds over to where Ansel has been watching him and pins him against a tree ) Klaus: Stop following me. I have no intention of taking Esther's bargain, and no desire to be remade a mortal being. Now, kindly piss off. I'm in a hurry to help my real family. ( Klaus stomps away, but stops when Ansel calls out to him ) Ansel: You seek the merlock orchid. Klaus: ( turns toward him ) How did you know that? Ansel: I saw you carry Elijah home last night. Who do you think used to find the orchid for your mother to put Mikael to sleep? Without my help, you could search forever. ( They stare at each other for a long moment, and Ansel smiles a small smile at his son ) Klaus: My mother brought you back from the dead. My sense of strategy tells me that it wasn't to play a father-son game of hide and seek. ( Klaus once again turns away to search for the flower ) Ansel: You can storm off in a fit of stubbornness if you like, but I suggest you do so toward the west. ( Ansel gestures to his right, and Klaus stops for a moment, considering his options with a sigh ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ ON THE ROAD ] ( Davina is driving Kaleb/Kol's car while he sits in the passenger seat, wincing as he cradles his injured arm. They're listening to classical music, Davina's favorite, but Kol uses magic to turn the station to blues music. Amused, Davina leans over and hits the button to turn off the radio ) Kol: ( laughs ) You have any fun with magic, or is it all just angst and child sacrifice with you lot? Davina: You were a witch before you were a vampire, right? Kol: Yeah. None of my siblings had tapped into their power. I was a bit of a child prodigy! I loved it. I loved the power, I loved the rush... and then, when we turned, I lost it all. Went through a bit of a dark period. Davina: ( incredulous ) A thousand years? Kol: Yeah, well, I'm a thrill-seeker. I couldn't get that from magic anymore, so I looked elsewhere. Davina: Yeah. Murder, mayhem... Kol: Yeah, youthful misadventures! I actually spent quite a lot of time with witches. You know, learning from them, teaching them. Trying to get back what my mother stole from me. Davina: Is that why she brought you back as a witch? Kol: Well, she felt like this body would be best for the task at hand... spying on the prettiest witch in town! Davina: ( laughs ) I can't believe your mom sent you here to flirt with me. Kol: Oh, no, she sent me to follow you. The flirting bit was me! ( After a moment of silence, Kol flicks his fingers, turning the radio back on to classical music. Davina smiles at him ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ MARCEL'S LOFT ] ( Aiden, Hayley, Josh, and Marcel are outlining their plan to take down Vincent/Finn. Aiden smooths out a map on the coffee table ) Aiden: Cami said Vincent wants to meet at Preservation Hall. But, he won't be unprotected. ( He points to different spots on the map ) There will be wolves position here and here. Marcel: ( points at a different location on the map ) Can we keep this alley open? ( Aiden nods in confirmation ) Hayley: Alright, I'll wait there and rip Vincent's head off. Marcel: Nah, he'll body-jump. ( Cami enters suddenly with a file box in her hands ) Cami: Vincent's head stays on. He'll have a hard time answering questions without it. ( She opens the box, and the rest of them start to look through it ) Josh: Sweet, it's a big box of dusty old junk. We're saved! ( Aiden smiles despite himself. Marcel starts to go through the contents of the box ) Cami: ( laughs ) They're dark objects my uncle left for me. I've been cataloguing them according to Kieran's notes. As far as I can tell, these can be used against witches specifically. ( Marcel pulls a pair of shackles attached to a chain out of the box ) Hayley: ( sees the shackles ) Kinky. ( Josh laughs ) Marcel: Ah, I remember these! A hundred years ago, the Human Faction waged a war against the Voodoo Queens. They had a traitor spell these manacles. Slap 'em on a witch, they can't do magic as long as they're on. ( He sets the shackles back into the box ) Josh: Alright, we're not gonna get the "Handcuffs of Doom" on him while he's surrounded by a werewolf entourage. Aiden: We can just lure him away. I can do that. Hayley: Cami, if we do this, you're the bait. Are you sure you're okay with that? ( Everyone looks at Cami in concern. Cami looks slightly nervous, but she shakes it off ) Cami: Make it look convincing. The guy's really smart. [SCENE_BREAK] [ THE BAYOU ] ( Klaus is still wandering around the forest, while Ansel follows behind him ) Ansel: A thousand years estranged, and you choose to walk in silence? Surely you have questions for me. Klaus: ( sighs ) Just one... is there a way to cure Elijah without having to listen to the pointless ramblings of an old man? Ansel: I'm afraid the price of my expertise is conversation. ( Ansel pats Klaus affectionately on the back and slips past him so he can lead him through the woods ) Klaus: You know, I used to tell myself that my real father must have had no idea I existed. Otherwise, he'd never leave me to suffer under Mikael. Ansel: Esther forbade from seeing you. So, I waited, knowing that one day, you would trigger your curse and need your real father. When that happened, Mikael found me first. I fought him for you. Klaus: Yes, well, your grand declaration is just a few years too late. Ansel: Now, you joke, but I know you've always felt a void in your life. I've watched you from beyond for centuries. You've traveled all corners of the world, seen monuments erected, feasted on the blood of the history's most extraordinary men, but you've never found true peace. ( Klaus is clearly affected by his words ) The only moments of joy in your life, however fleeting, have been simple pleasures. As you climbed the Himalayas, as you tended to your horses. Quiet days, teaching that boy Shakespeare... Klaus: ( overwhelmed ) Stop. Ansel: I watched you paint. I watched you feel your unborn daughter's kick... ( Klaus grabs him in a choke-hold ) Klaus: ( angry ) I said, stop! A millenium of observing me... were your eyes closed as I slaughtered whole villages? Fed my way through thousands of innocents? Because, let's face it... I have a tendency to play with my food. ( Ansel stares at him, silent, as Klaus steps closer so they are nearly nose-to-nose ) Have I made you proud, Father? ( Upset, Klaus angrily shoves past Ansel, who looks heartbroken ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ THE LYCEE ] ( Kaleb/Kol has just returned back to the greenhouse, where Lenore/Esther is waiting for him. He goes to the shelf to grab a jar full of an herbal poultice ) Kol: ( frustrated ) Remind me to teach you how to send a text message. Esther: You were told to get the white oak stake days ago. We need it now... seeing as your father has risen. Kol: ( feigns surprise ) Mikael? Back from the dead? Esther: ( furious ) Enough! You kept it from me. Why? Because of Davina Claire? Kol: To protect your plan! She's never gonna trust me if she thinks I'm just a flying monkey to the wicked witch! I've got it handled, Mother. ( Esther considers this for a moment, and then snuffs out a nearby candle, which causes Kol's Runic wounds to heal ) Esther: I want that stake! And I don't care what you have to do to get it! ( Esther turns and walks out of the greenhouse. Kol picks up an athame on the table and looks at it with interest ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ THE BAYOU ] ( Ansel and Klaus have come upon a large tree, where the merlock orchids are growing upon the branches. Surrounding the tree are dozens and dozens of purple-flowered herbs ) Klaus: ( frustrated ) Vervain. It's everywhere. My relentless mother has set a trap. Ansel: ( looks at the tree, and then back at Klaus, smiling ) I'll retrieve the merlock for you. Klaus: ( suspicious ) At what cost? ( Ansel angrily throws his knife into the ground and approaches Klaus ) Ansel: Why don't you use your vampire abilities to end your doubts? Search my mind. You'll see I'm not aligned with your mother. Klaus: I have absolutely no interest in the inner-workings of your brain. Ansel: I'm surprised at your cowardice. Klaus: Oh? Ansel: While you stand here in fear of me, your brother suffers further. Klaus: ( clearly hurt, reconsiders his offer ) Gather the orchids. [SCENE_BREAK] [ LAFAYETTE CEMETERY ] ( Davina has arrived at the cemetery, where Kaleb/Kol is waiting for her outside of a mausoleum, holding the athame that he took from the lyc e ) Davina: What did your mother want from you? Kol: She wants me to take that stake out of your bag. Give it to her, so that you can't kill Klaus before she gets her big, happy family. Davina: Is that why you called me here? Kol: ( frustrated ) I'm not my mother's puppet! ( He stands up ) I want something different entirely. ( He holds out the dagger ) I want your blood. ( Davina backs away from the athame, looking scared, but Kol raises his hands non-threateningly ) Kol: Relax, love! I'm not gonna take it. I'm asking ya, nicely. Davina: ( sarcastic ) Sure, I'll just bleed for you with no explanation at all. Kol: ( chuckles ) About a hundred years ago, this tomb used to be my playhouse. The witches I used to run with, we used to make all kinds of magic in here. That is, until I pissed the prettiest one off, as I tend to do, and she locked me out. Davina: So, why do you need my blood? Kol: Her name was Mary Alice Claire. ( Davina, knowing where he's going with this, sighs and rolls her eyes ) Only a Claire witch can open this tomb. ( He walks toward her and hands her the athame, handle-end first. She looks at it for a moment before taking it. When we catch up with them, they've just entered the tomb, which is full to the brim of artifacts and materials with which to practice witchcraft ) Davina: ( looks around in wonder ) Where did you get all this stuff? Kol: Well, I was a vampire. I could get anything I wanted. I couldn't practice witchcraft, so, I charmed some witches, and I taught them a new kind of magic that I learned in Arabia called Kemiya. We made items that allowed me to use magic without doing magic. ( He starts pulling boxes off of a shelf, and Davina suddenly makes the connection ) Davina: You taught them how to make dark objects. Kol: Yeah. And, for a time, they were scattered all around this city. ( He opens a small wooden box ) I can't for the life of me find where they are now, but... I've got the one that matters. ( Davina, remembering that Father Kieran/Cami have a stockpile of dark objects, gulps nervously ) Davina: What is it? Kol: It's not about what it is, it's about what it could be. You want to take down Klaus, right? ( Davina nods ) I've wanted one thing for years... ( He holds up one of the white-oak-ash daggers that he has found in a box ) ..to drive a dagger into his heart, like he's done to me so many times. Davina: Those daggers don't work on Klaus. Kol: Smart girl. ( He puts the dagger into the wooden box and closes it ) With a little practice, and some trust, we'll fix it so this one will. We'll put him in a box, but, seeing as he won't be entirely dead, your friends will be safe. ( Davina looks interested ) So, what d'you say? ( Davina looks at Kol, a small smile on her face ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ PERSERVATION HALL ] ( A jazz band is playing inside of Preservation Hall, where Cami is dancing as she watches. After a moment, Vincent/Finn returns with two beers in his hands. He gives her one ) Cami: Thank you! ( She looks around at the huge crowd ) This is amazing! Finn: I developed an appreciation for the music after I moved here. I never had a taste for it before. ( He takes a sip of his beer and makes a face, which makes Cami smile ) Cami: I see you're still developing your taste for beer! ( Finn laughs and shrugs ) My mom said beer wasn't lady-like, so I learned to love it as an act of rebellion. What about you? Snobby mom? Distant dad? Spill! Finn: Well, my mother and I are quite close. She made so many sacrifices for us. Now, anything she asks seems negligible in comparison. ( Cami smiles. Their conversation is interrupted when Cami's phone rings ) Cami: I'm so sorry, can you hold this? ( She hands FInn her beer and digs her phone out of her purse ) Oh, I have to take this! My friend is covering my shift. I'll be right back, I'm so sorry! ( Cami sets her purse down on a nearby table and heads away from the crowd to answer her phone. Finn watches her protectively from where he's standing, but after a moment, his view is blocked by a man who is heading for the crowd. When he moves out of his eye-line, Cami has vanished. Concerned, Finn heads outside to look for her, but when he leaves the hall, he hears Cami screaming and turns down the alley. He finds Cami flat on her back, being attacked by someone who is bending over her ) Finn: HEY! ( Cami's attacker turns toward Finn. Their hood is up, but their glowing yellow eyes indicate that it is a werewolf. Finn runs toward them, but the werewolf leaps onto the roof of the next building, so he instead kneels next to Cami to make sure she's okay. Her neck is bleeding, and she's hyperventilating. The hooded attacker whistles at Finn, and he stands to get a better look at them before they take off again. When Finn goes to return to Cami, she's vanished again, leaving him frantic ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ THE BAYOU ] ( Klaus and Ansel are sitting across from each other as a campfire burns between them. Ansel is using his long knife to cut the merlock orchids ) Klaus: I've always seen a blade to have a very different use. Ansel: Mikael taught you to kill, Klaus. But, you were born to create. Power lies in embracing your true nature. Klaus: You think I should accept my mother's offer? Sacrifice my vampirism? And then what? Become a florist? Ansel: ( smiles ) You wouldn't be sacrificing anything. As a wolf, you'll be king to an entire species. ( Klaus seems tempted, despite his best efforts ) You would feel at true peace. And you'll be a better father. Klaus: ( becomes angry ) I am no longer a father. ( Klaus stands and walks away from the campfire, but Ansel continues talking ) Ansel: In our animal form, we feel everything more acutely. ( Klaus stops and listens, though he does not face him ) When you were a boy, after each full moon, I would wake closer to your village, having been drawn to you in the night. Since I've been back, each month when I turn, I wake further from New Orleans. I know the call of my own blood, Klaus. ( Shocked, Klaus turns toward him, afraid of what he's about to say ) I know your child is still alive. ( Klaus glares at his father suspiciously, still in shock at this revelation ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ VINCENT/FINN'S OFFICE ] ( Vincent/Finn is on the phone with Aiden as he sits on his couch, surrounded by lit candles on the coffee table ) Finn: ( furious ) It was a wolf bite! ( He angrily throws a handful of sand onto the table ) Who broke rank? Aiden: I'll knock some heads together and find out. Finn: ( draws symbols into the sand with his finger ) I'll know where Camille is shortly. You'll meet me there. Come alone, because your wolves can't be trusted. ( Finn hangs up on him. When Aiden hangs up his own phone, we see that he is in St. Anne's Church as he walks toward Josh, Cami, and Hayley, who are sitting on the sacristy ) Aiden: Well, he bought it. His locator spell will bring him here without the bodyguards. ( Hayley bites her wrist and drips her blood into a golden cup used for communion while Cami watches her, her neck still bleeding ) Cami: I always thought having a woman's mouth on my neck would be more erotic. Hayley: ( chuckles ) You'll heal fast. Let's get all these lights off. ( Hayley hands Cami the cup of her blood, which she drinks to heal her wound ) Hayley: Here you go. ( Aiden walks across the room to snuff out the candles, and Josh follows him so they can talk privately ) Aiden: We're so going to hell for this. Josh: ( laughs ) Yeah, well, you get used to it. ( Aiden can't help but laugh as well ) Hey, I know this isn't your ideal Friday night. I'm sure you'd rather be, like, doing push-ups, or drinking beers with your bros, or whatever. Aiden: Eh, it's not so bad. ( The two smile at each other. Back on the sacristy, Hayley and Cami are still talking ) Cami: Okay, tell me the plan one more time. Hayley: Aiden's gonna get Vincent to the altar, and then I'm gonna jump him. He's powerful, though, so we only have a few seconds to get the shackles on him. Cami: Where's Marcel? Hayley: He's looking for Davina. He heard she was back in town. Cami: Overprotective dad stuff? Hayley: If you want to call ripping Kol Mikaelson into a thousand little pieces "protective dad stuff," then, yeah. That's it. ( Cami laughs and blots the blood off her neck with a towel ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ CLAIRE CRYPT ] ( Kaleb/Kol and Davina are still going through all of the materials in the tomb. He snaps his fingers, and classical music starts to play on the record player, which makes Davina smile ) Kol: The hunters who forged the Originals' daggers to take out my family didn't know that Klaus was part-werewolf... not vulnerable to silver. ( Davina picks up the dagger and looks at it, so Kol comes over and takes it from her ) Now, it's impossible to replicate the spell cast on the dagger. Trust me, I've tried. ( He puts the dagger back into the box ) But, it's not impossible to change the dagger itself. Kemiya allows witches to destroy one element to create another. Say, changing silver to gold, for example. Davina: So, you've been hanging out with me this whole time because you don't have enough power on your own? Kol: No! Kemiya's about... it's about chemistry. It's about connection. And, after what happened with the white oak stake, I don't think you can deny what we have. ( He holds out his hand, which has a large diamond laying in his palm ) So, here. Hold my hand. Davina: ( steps toward him ) That's a huge diamond. Kol: ( holds the diamond up ) It's a paragon diamond. You use them to conduct power. ( He lays the diamond back in his palm and holds his hand out toward her ) Davina: Is the hand-holding really necessary? Kol: I mean, we could make out, but then, that'd be entirely distracting. ( Davina sighs and reluctantly holds Kol's hand. He holds out his other hand, which holds a length of rope, so she takes the other end of the rope in her free hand ) Kol: Alright, follow my lead. Close your eyes. ( She closes her eyes ) Elochia jael halydeen. Elochia jael halydeen. ( After a moment, Davina joins him in chanting the spell. Kol lets go of Davina's hand with the hand that holds the diamond, and slowly slips down and grasps her elbow. The rope suddenly catches on fire, and they stop chanting and stare at each other in surprise ) ( Kol moves his hand to her shoulder, and lets go of the rope before he can burn his hand. Davina is so distracted by him leaning closer to her that the burning rope singes her hand, and she drops it onto the floor. They both then kneel and look at the ground, where they find a rope made of gold laying in place of the regular rope they just spelled. He fastens the length of gold around her wrist, and Davina smiles ) Kol: To replace the one I broke. Davina: ( whispers in awe ) We changed it. Kol: Well, Davina Claire, we're going to change everything. ( Davina stares at him, charmed ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ THE BAYOU ] ( Klaus and Ansel are still by the campfire they made, where Ansel has just finished preparing the merlock orchid roots for Elijah. He puts the poultice in a handkerchief and gives it to Klaus ) Ansel: This will help Elijah. ( He turns away, but Klaus calls out to him, and he turns back with interest ) Klaus: Ansel. I'd be lying if I said your offer wasn't appealing. I've never known a parent to be a benevolent force. I think I would have liked to have been your son. But, a different path was chosen for me, and I have, for the past one thousand years, been son of Mikael. Paranoid. Vengeful. And, powerful enough to protect my daughter. Ansel: ( clasps the back of Klaus' head affectionately ) I want to help you defend her. Klaus: ( near-tears ) I believe you. But, love is what Esther twists. She will take the best of your intentions, and she will use them to get to my little girl. ( He takes Ansel's hand in his own and clasps it tightly ) You waited too long before you came to rescue me. ( He brushes past Ansel and stops ) I won't make the same mistake with Hope. ( Klaus picks up Ansel's blade, and Ansel turns toward him, confused and hurt ) Ansel: No. ( Klaus walks toward him ) No, Klaus. I know you. You are not capable of this. Klaus: That's the first lie you've told me. ( Ansel looks at Klaus sadly, and after a moment, Klaus slashes at him with the blade, slicing Ansel's chest open in a diagonal line. Ansel gasps, staggering forward, and Klaus looks horrified at what he's just done. He steps forward and catches his dying father in his arms, slowly lowering his body onto the ground. Ansel, still shocked, caresses Klaus' cheek with his hand before he finally dies. Klaus, overwhelmed, starts to cry, but quickly steels himself ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ CLAIRE CRYPT ] ( Davina lays down on a nearby futon while Kaleb/Kol puts away his paragon diamond in a small velvet pouch ) Davina: Well, it's late. I should get going. Kol: I suppose you'll be wanting to get back to Marcel's. Davina: I lied to him about you. I'll probably go back to the attic. Kol: Voluntarily returning to the jail cell where they locked you up. ( He walks toward her and sits down next to her on the futon ) You must have been lonely all that time. A witch needs a coven, even if it is just two. Davina: When can we work on the dagger? Kol: Soon. We have some more work to do with each other, first. ( He grabs her jean jacket and spreads it over Davina like a blanket ) You're gonna like me, Davina Claire. I'm happy to let you pretend a while that you don't already. ( Davina stares at Kol curiously ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ ST. ANNE'S CHURCH ] ( Vincent/Finn catches up with Aiden, who is waiting for him in the alley near the church ) Aiden: I staked it out. It looks like a couple of Oliver's friends wanting to avenge his death. Finn: Where's Cami? Aiden: She's, uh, she's tied up near the altar. Hey, you bee-line for her, I'll handle the rest of them, alright? ( Aiden turns to go, but Finn stops him ) Finn: Aiden? Your brother was among the recruits that Oliver rescued, was he not? ( Aiden gapes at him, unable to respond. Suddenly, Finn telekinetically throws him through the front doors of St. Anne's. Aiden slides down the aisle, slamming into a pew and knocking himself out. Josh, unable to help himself, vamp-speeds toward Aiden to make sure he's okay, not noticing right away that Finn is storming down the aisle after him. Josh freezes in fear as Finn spreads his arms wide, lighting all of the candles and turning on all of the lights of the church. Josh stands in a defensive position, but Finn easily snaps his neck with a flick of his wrist. ) Finn: ( continues to walk down the aisle ) Camille! CAMILLE! ( Hayley appears out of nowhere behind Finn and tackles him to the ground. Finn tries to crawl away ) Hayley: First, I'm going to kick your ass. Then, I'm going to take my pack back. Finn: ( laughs weakly ) Your pack? Last I checked, your pack was blindly following me. Hayley: You wanna talk about following? How do your mother's boots taste? ( Hayley kicks Finn in the face, splitting his lip, but he continues to laugh ) Finn: What have you done with Cami? ( Hayley laughs sarcastically and shrugs, so Finn telekinetically throws her down the aisle while he gets to his feet ) Finn: Hybrids die by losing their head or their heart. And, given the choice, I'm going to take the organ that got you into this mess in the first place. ( He chants unintelligibly and makes a fist with his hand as he walks toward Hayley. Suddenly, Hayley clutches her chest as she starts to spit up blood. The front of her shirt has a bloody stain on the front of it where he's starting to rip out her heart ) ( Suddenly, an arrow pierces Finn through his shoulder from behind, and he screams out in pain. He turns to see Jackson, with Ansel's bow and quiver of arrows, jumping down from the balcony. He shoots another arrow into Finn's thigh, causing Finn to crawl up to the sacristy to get away from them. Out of nowhere, a healed Cami appears and slams the manacles onto his wrists. He gapes at her, clearly feeling betrayed. He tries to fight back with magic, but the manacles are blocking him ) Cami: You would have done the same thing to me, Finn. ( Finn, completely stunned, stares at his hands and starts to process what just happened. Down the aisle, Jackson has rushed over to Hayley to check on her ) Jackson: Are you okay? ( He brushes her hair off her face with his hand ) I'm so sorry I made you wait. Hayley: Your timing was pretty awesome, actually. ( She laughs in relief to be alive, which makes Jackson laugh, too ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ MIKAELSON COMPOUND / ELIJAH'S DREAM ] ( Klaus arrives back home and heads straight for Elijah's room, where he is still sleeping fitfully. He takes out the handkerchief Ansel gave him, and starts smearing the poultice onto Elijah's neck ) Klaus: ( quietly ) We were innocent once, Elijah. ( Klaus' voice ontinues to echo into Elijah's dream, where Young Elijah is still running around the forest. He falls to his knees in the clearing, exhausted. In the present day, Klaus continues treating Elijah's wounds ) Klaus: This bloodlust was forced upon us by our parents, turning us from prey to predator. ( In Elijah's dream, Adult Elijah, still splattered in blood, stares at Young Elijah. Suddenly, modern-day Klaus appears in the woods before Young Elijah and grips his shoulder comfortingly ) We're the demons lurking in shadow. We are the savage villains in fairy tales taught to children. But, not for my child. Not for Hope. In her stories, we are knights in shining armor. Without you by my side, I don't think I can survive my own love for my daughter. I need you. I need you, brother. The monster in me can only be challenged by the monster in you. ( In the dream, Klaus echoes, "By the monster in you" ) Only together can we fight our demons and save our family. ( In the dream, Klaus hands Young Elijah a stake before he leaves. Thunder and lightning crashes overhead as he sees Adult Elijah standing nearby, staring at him. Adult Elijah lunges for him, but Young Elijah yells at the top of his lungs as he stakes him in the heart, causing Elijah to finally wake up with a gasp. They're both shocked to see the other, but after a moment, Klaus smiles at him ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ ST. ANNE'S CHURCH ] ( Jackson is lighting candles at the altar when Hayley finds him ) Hayley: We put Vincent in the back of Josh's car. Jackson: Is Aiden alright? Hayley: Mmm, some ice and bourbon and he'll be fine. ( she pauses ) How did you know where to find us? Jackson: I spent a lot of time tracking you when I was a wolf. ( He smiles ) Call it animal instinct. ( He's about to leave when Hayley stops him ) Hayley: Jack... Jackson: Oh, Oliie used to give me so much hell for waiting on you. Girls came and went... I always knew you'd come. See, our parents had been so sure that you and I could change things for the better. Hayley: Jack, the girl that you were waiting on was Andr a Labonair, mythic revolutionary. You got Hayley Marshall, a knocked-up tomboy with a bad attitude. You got dealt a crappy hand. ( She laughs, but Jackson looks pensive ) Jackson: Yeah, you're right. You're not the girl I waited for. ( He walks toward her so they're nearly nose-to-nose ) You're better. ( He smiles at her, unsure of what to do, before he takes off for the Bayou ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ] ( Klaus enters Elijah's bedroom, where he's getting dressed in his usual suit and tie. He's holding a leather-bound notebook in his hands, and looks as though he wants to say something. After a moment, Elijah turns toward him ) Elijah: What is it? Klaus: ( hesitates ) I spent the day with my father. My real father. ( Elijah looks stunned speechless, and sits down on his bed ) Esther brought him back from the dead, believing he could convince me to renounce vampirism. ( Klaus looks torn as he approaches his brother ) The thought of what I could be, had I been raised by him. Had I been nurtured. This was his. ( He hands Elijah the notebook, and he opens it to find a sketch of a much younger Klaus inside ) He knew about Hope. ( Elijah immediately shuts the notebook and rises to his feet, shocked once again ) I wanted to trust him more than anything in the world. I- I wanted to, but... ( He trails off, unable to put into words what he did and what he feels ) I couldn't be sure. And, I would never forgive myself if something happened to her because of my selfish desire for a father. So, I killed him. Without hesitation. I killed him. Elijah: ( pauses for a moment to think ) You killed him for Hope. ( He walks until he's face-to-face with Klaus and hands him the notebook ) And whatever innocence remains, we must protect at any cost. ( Elijah puts a hand on the back of Klaus' head comfortingly, and Klaus starts to cry ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ LAFAYETTE CEMETERY ] ( Lenore/Esther returns to the crypt where she was keeping Elijah to find Ansel, dead and hung up on hook in the middle of the candle-filled room. Esther gasps in horror and falls to the floor, sobbing at the top of her lungs ) [ ST. ANNE'S CHURCH ] ( Kaleb/Kol carries Davina into the attic and lays her down on the bed. The stake is clearly poking out of her purse, and he stares at it. Before he can take it, Marcel appears in the doorway, scowling at him ) [ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ] ( Elijah is finishing getting dressed, putting the finishing touches on his tie while he looks at himself in the mirror. As he buttons up his jacket, he notices that his hands are shaking, and he takes a deep breath to steady himself. He leans against his dresser and wipes his brow as he gets a flashback to attacking Tatia in the 10th century, and bringing her corpse to Esther to take care of ) [ ST. ANNE'S CHURCH ] ( Davina awakens in her bed, confused as to how she got there. She spots the bracelet on her wrist and smiles as she remembers making it with Kaleb/Kol. When she looks around, both Kol and Marcel are gone, and the stake is no longer in her bag. She frowns, horrified at this development ) [ ROUSSEAU'S ] ( Cami is at the bar, drinking a tumbler of scotch when someone walks into the restaurant ) Cami: ( doesn't bother looking at who it is ) Sorry, we're closed. Lenore/Esther: That's too bad. I hear you serve the best sasurak in town. ( Cami looks up and is instantly frightened at the sight of Esther approaching her. She quickly backs away from her ) Camille, right? My sons have taken quite the liking to you. ( She raises a hand toward Cami, holding the bundle of herbs from earlier, and Cami gasps ) [ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ] ( Klaus is leaning against a chair in Elijah's room, talking to Elijah, who is standing on the balcony ) Klaus: How do you feel? Elijah: The worst has past. Though, I suspect the nightmares are far from over. Klaus: Well, gather your strength. After the message I sent Mother tonight, I expect hellfire to rain upon us imminently. Elijah: ( approaches him ) We need to make a move before she strikes. ( Suddenly, Marcel and Hayley appear in the doorway ) Marcel: Well, actually, moves were made while you were sleeping. Hayley: ( smiles ) It's good to see you vertical. Marcel and I each left a gift for you in the ballroom. ( Klaus looks at them curiously ) You're welcome? ( Klaus looks at Elijah, who gestures toward the door ) Marcel: ( whispers ) You're welcome. ( Downstairs, they arrive in the ballroom, where Klaus and Elijah find both Finn and Kol, each wearing the enchanted manacles, which are suspending them from the balcony by their wrists. Klaus and Elijah look very pleased ) Kol: ( incredulous ) Kidnapping? That's a rather unpleasant way to begin a family reunion! Klaus: ( grins ) Well, wait until you see how we end it! [ END ]

When Klaus discovers that Elijah has been afflicted by Esther's magic, he heads to the bayou in search of an antidote, but quickly realizes he's not alone. His father helps him with finding cure for his brother and also tells his son he knows that Hope is still alive so Klaus kills him to protect her. Armed with intel gathered by Aiden, Hayley teams up with him Marcel, Cami and Josh and launches a plan to take down Vincent/Finn by exploating his weakness, in a surprising turns of events Jackson helps them. Meanwhile, with Esther determined to carry out her plan vincent/Finn and Kaleb/Kol are forced to reconsider their own strategies. Intrigued by Davina's unwavering attempts to create an unlinking spell, Kaleb/Kol lets her in on some secrets from his past and brings her to a place he frequented in 1914. Lastly, Vincent/Finn and Kaleb/Kol are being kidnapped by Hayley and Marcel. Elijah wakes up.

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_17x24

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_17x24_0

SHADA PART FOUR by DOUGLAS ADAMS would have been transmitted - 9th February 1980 [SCENE_BREAK] 1. CORRIDOR, ST. CEDD COLLEGE (WILKIN steps up to the PROFESSOR's door and knocks.) WILKIN: Miss? Are you in there Miss? (He hears no reply and opens the door expecting to find the young woman inside. His jaw drops and his eyes widen in amazement as he finds a blowing blue void beyond the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2. SHIP, MAIN CONTROL (NOT MADE) [Edited replay of the end of Part Three] DOCTOR: Excellent! Thank you. (He smiles, until he notices a change in the atmosphere of the room. . .) It's getting very stuffy in here. SHIP: You are dead? DOCTOR: Yes! I thought we'd sorted that out. SHIP: I am programmed to conserve resources. Since there are no live beings in this area, I have shut down the oxygen supply. DOCTOR: What! (The DOCTOR begins gasping for breath, and he sinks to the floor. The last thing he hears while conscious is the voice of the Ship saying over and over:) SHIP: Dead men do not require oxygen! (The DOCTOR loses consciousness. . . and lies motionless. . . . ) TOM: With a fascinating display of illogic logic, I convinced the ship that I was dead in order to secure the release of my companions. The ship agreed, but shut down the oxygen supply. As I sank to the floor gasping for breath, the last thing I heard was the voice of the ship - "Dead men does not require oxygen!" [SCENE_BREAK] 3. SHIP, BRIG (In the ship's brig, K-9 and CHRIS are pacing (or wheeling) around the room, looking for some way out, but not too enthusiastically as they've already done this several times. CHRIS stops and kneels down by K-9.) CHRIS: Not a clue. (Suddenly the glowing cube of light appears again, engulfing CHRIS and K-9 and dematerialising them.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4. SHIP, CORRRIDOR (NOT MADE) (In the main corridor, CHRIS and K-9 appear.) CHRIS: Hey, We did it! K-9: We must find the Doctor Master. He is in danger. (K-9 trundles to the sealed doorway leading to the main control.) Stand clear. Preparing blaster fire. (The blaster nozzle comes out. Meanwhile CHRIS has seen the two buttons on the side of the door marked "Open" and "Close". He presses the "Open" one. The door opens.) (Glumly) Most satisfactory. (CHRIS shrugs apologetically as the blaster nozzle went back into K-9's mouth. They rush into the control room. There was a roaring sound as air came rushing back into the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5. SHIP, MAIN CONTROL (NOT MADE) (The DOCTOR is lying unconscious on the floor of the control room.) CHRIS: Doctor! SHIP: Oxygen levels returning to normal. (CHRIS spins round.) CHRIS: Who said that? (K-9 tries to pinpoint the source of the voice as the DOCTOR slowly comes to.) SHIP: I am the ship. The servant of the Lord Skagra. CHRIS: Where's that voice coming from. K-9: Impossible to pinpoint source. It pervades the whole ship. CHRIS: (checking the DOCTOR who is opening his eyes.) He's alright! DOCTOR: No, I'm not, I'm dead. CHRIS: What? DOCTOR: I've been nearly too clever by three quarters. CHRIS: You never seem to do anything by halves. DOCTOR: I persuaded the ship I was dead and it cut off my oxygen supply. CHRIS: You what? DOCTOR: It won't take orders from an enemy of Skagra. But since it believes I am dead... (He corrects himself loudly as the ship might be listening.) I AM dead, the ship has no reason not to accept my orders. CHRIS: What? K-9: Logic is peculiar but acceptable. DOCTOR: It only resumed the supply of oxygen when you came in. You're still alive, officially. CHRIS: That's reassuring. DOCTOR: Where's Romana. CHRIS: I thought she was with you. Whatever took us off came back for her. DOCTOR: Skagra! He must have her, as well as... CHRIS: As well as what? DOCTOR: That book and a copy of my own mind. CHRIS: He got what? DOCTOR: A copy of my mind. In his sphere. He thinks I know the key to the book. CHRIS: Well, what is the key? DOCTOR: I don't know. I deliberately avoided thinking about it in case he did use the sphere on me. (The DOCTOR sets off for the main door.) Come on, we can trace them from the TARDIS. K-9: Negative Master. DOCTOR: What do you mean? K-9: The TARDIS is gone. DOCTOR: Has what? K-9: Gone Master. (All three are stunned into silence.) TOM: (after CHRIS and K-9 are released from the brig, in front of the Giant Robot.) Chris and K-9 were transported to the corridor, where they discovered the way to the control room. As they entered, the ship returned the oxygen levels to normal. K-9 informed me that the TARDIS has gone... [There is more to this link but contains spoilers. Carrying on.] [SCENE_BREAK] 6. VORTEX (In the space/time vortex, a solid blue police box spins on course for somewhere...) [SCENE_BREAK] 7. TARDIS, CONSOLE ROOM (NOT MADE) (Inside the TARDIS, SKAGRA stands at the controls. One hand he touches the sphere, with the other he manipulates the TARDIS controls. ROMANA stands near, helpless. She does try a little psychology, however.) ROMANA: Anyone can dematerialise a TARDIS, but you'd be a real safety hazard at the major controls. That's why they're booby-trapped. SKAGRA: Not true. ROMANA: How do you know? (SKAGRA taps the sphere.) You know everything? SKAGRA: It's all in here. (ROMANA edges towards the console. The sphere rises and approaches her, emitting the voice babble. ROMANA backs off and the sphere settles back.) I wouldn't go near it if I were you. It can do far worse things to you than you possibly do to it. ROMANA: I don't see why you want to steal an old crock like this anyway. You've got a perfectly good ship of your own. SKAGRA: Impressed with it were you? (ROMANA doesn't answer.) I should hope you were. I designed it. But it has certain limitations. And what the Time Lords have hidden, I shall need Time Lord technology to find. ROMANA: You seem to know a lot about the Time Lords. Who are you? What do you want? SKAGRA: Have you heard of a man called Salyavin? ROMANA: Salyavin! You're Salyavin? SKAGRA: You asked me two questions if you remember. ROMANA: What do you mean? SKAGRA: Quiet. I must concentrate. [SCENE_BREAK] 8. SPACE (In the vast reaches of space, a massive ship lies motionless, as though waiting for someone to arrive.) TOM: (carrying on with link) In fact, the TARDIS was now on board a massive command-ship. Skagra revealed little to Romana except he needed Time-Lord Technology to discover what the Time Lords have hidden... (there's more on this link but with spoilers so I stopped it there and will put the rest at the appropriate place.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9. KRARG CARRIER, COMMAND DECK (NOT MADE) (The ship's main control centre is highly technological and sleek. One entire wall is taken up with an enormous screen that shows a wide stretch of the galaxy. Aside of the screen, the TARDIS materialises, and SKAGRA and ROMANA emerge from it together.) ROMANA: Where are we? SKAGRA: On my command ship. ROMANA: (sneers) Command ship! And what do you need to command? SKAGRA: More than you can possibly imagine. (A deep, alien voice is heard from behind them both saying.) VOICE: Welcome back to your ship, My Lord. (ROMANA spins around and sees... something... something that is very large and very dark and very formidable looking, if ungraceful. It appears to be made of diamond-shaped crystallised lumps of coal. ROMANA's jaw hangs open...) [SCENE_BREAK] 10. FIELD (The field on Earth still appears completely empty...) [SCENE_BREAK] 11. SHIP, CONTROL ROOM (NOT MADE) (CHRIS and the Doctor are seated inside the invisible spaceship, both looking very dejected. K-9 appears to have turned himself off. The DOCTOR takes a deep breath and wants to work out what they don't know. ) CHRIS: So where's he gone? DOCTOR: Or when. CHRIS: What? DOCTOR: Time Machine. CHRIS: Oh yes. (Doubtfully) Yes. He must take taken Romana because she can operate it. DOCTOR: So can he. He's got my mind in that sphere of his. Everything I know is at his disposal. CHRIS: There's one thing he doesn't know. DOCTOR: What? CHRIS: You're still alive. DOCTOR: Shhh! I'm dead, remember. CHRIS: (quietly) Doctor, why doesn't the ship realise that... DOCTOR: It's only programmed to obey instructions not to think about them. Blind logic. Let's work out what we know. We know that ... er ... Let's work out what we don't know. CHRIS: Right. DOCTOR: We don't know where Skagra has taken Romana, we don't know why he wants the book, we don't know what he's going to do . . . CHRIS: That's enough don't knows to win an election. DOCTOR: Hmmpphh. CHRIS: This ship must know where he's gone. DOCTOR: Ship! Speaking to you as a late lamented enemy of your Lord Skagra I command you to Tell me where he has gone. SHIP: I do not have that information. DOCTOR: (angrily) Don't know, don't know, don't know! [SCENE_BREAK] 12. KRARG CARRIER, MAIN CONTROL (NOT MADE) (SKAGRA places the silver sphere on a console meant for it to sit on.) ROMANA: Why won't you tell me? Why won't you just say what you're trying to do? (SKAGRA looks quietly at her for a moment and then leads her to the big screen which filled with stars.) SKAGRA: Tell me what you see. ROMANA: Stars. Billions of them. SKAGRA: What are they doing? ROMANA: Doing? SKAGRA: Yes. ROMANA: What do you mean what are they doing? They're just there. They're... SKAGRA: Exactly. Spinning uselessly through the void. And around them, trillions of people spinning uselessly through their lives. ROMANA: Says who. SKAGRA: I say. ROMANA: And who are you? SKAGRA: What I am now is not important. But what I - what we all - shall be. ROMANA: What do you... SKAGRA: Shhh! (SKAGRA seems like a man possessed, and for the first time, passionate. He cups his hands together and shows them to ROMANA.) Look. (Mystified, ROMANA looks in his hands.) ROMANA: What? SKAGRA: What do you see? ROMANA: Nothing. Air. SKAGRA: Billions of atoms spinning at random. Expanding energy, running down, achieving nothing. Entropy. Like the stars. But what is the one thing that stands against entropy, against random decay? (He holds out one hand to her.) Life!! See how the atoms are arranged here. They have meaning, purpose. And what more meaning and purpose than... (SKAGRA slowly points the finger of that hand to his head) ...in here? (ROMANA's face shows him that she is now convinced him is insane.) You do not understand me. Your mind is too limited. (SKAGRA steps towards ROMANA, who backs away from him, frightened, but she backs straight into another one of the coal-created creatures. She tries changing the subject...) ROMANA: What are these ... things? SKAGRA: These? My Krargs. They shall be the servants of the new generation. ROMANA: New generation? A new race?" SKAGRA: Not people. A new person. (ROMANA is now baffled but horror-struck.) KRARG COMMANDER: My Lord. SKAGRA: Speak. KRARG COMMANDER: We shall shortly require new personnel. SKAGRA: Operate the vat. KRARG COMMANDER: As my Lord commands. (The KRARG COMMANDER goes off to the Krarg generation annex.) SKAGRA: (to ROMANA) You shall see this. (He takes her with him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13. KRARG GENERATION ANNEX, CARRIER SHIP (NOT MADE) (The annex is filled with a row of coffin-shaped vats of a strange, heavy, thick green gas. The KRARG enters the room first and presses a button on the wall.) ROMANA: What? SKAGRA: Shhh... (Inside one of the vats a wire skeleton suddenly glows alight and visible. Black crystals begin to form quickly on this wire, coalescing quickly until another Krarg is created. The new Krarg pulls itself out of the vat and asks SKAGRA) NEW KRARG: What is your command, Master? (ROMANA is appalled.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14. SHIP, MAIN CONTROL (NOT MADE) (Frustration has long since departed the DOCTOR, CHRIS, and K9, now that despondency has come in to take its place.) CHRIS: So. Back to square one. DOCTOR: That's it! CHRIS: What? DOCTOR: (leaping up and shouting.) That's it! CHRIS: What? DOCTOR: Square one. That's where we've got to go if we want to find out who Skagra is and what he's up to. Once we know that, we'll know where to find him. Ship! I order you to take us where to find him. (He turns to speak to the SHIP.) Ship! I order you to take us to where your Lord Skagra last come from. SHIP: The order does not conflict with its programmed instructions. I will activate launch procedures. (The DOCTOR and CHRIS grin at each other.) Launch procedures activated. (repeating this again and again.) [SCENE_BREAK] 15. SHIP, CORRIDOR (NOT MADE) (The SHIP's voice echoes around its structures, activating launch procedures. The voice is heard in the corridors...) [SCENE_BREAK] 16. SHIP, BRIG [?] (...and in the brig...) [probably made but not shown on the video] [SCENE_BREAK] 17. SHIP, VERY SMALL KRARG GENERATION ROOM (NOT MADE) (. . and also in a small Krarg generation room aboard the ship, hidden off to the side of the main corridor. As though in response to the voice, a body starts to form inside the vat.) TOM: (carrying on with the link.) She (ROMANA)was introduced to the Krargs. Creatures made of crystallised coal. Skagra took her to an annex in the ship which contained coffin shaped vats and heavy gas. The Krarg Commander needed new personnel and pressed a button near the vat. Crystal quickly formed around a basic skeleton, rapidly a Krarg was born. It pulled itself out of the vats. Romana was appalled. Meanwhile, on the invisible space-ship, I decided to order the ship back to its last destination. The ship complied, but as the launch procedures commenced, unknown to me a Krarg started to form in a generation room nearby. [SCENE_BREAK] 18. FIELD & SKY (In the field outside, the Ship's engines can be heard to roar as the ship takes off. Once it is in flight, it becomes visible as a yellow, dart-shaped sleek vessel. ) [SCENE_BREAK] 19. SHIP, CONTROL ROOM (NOT MADE) DOCTOR: Now, ship. How long will the journey take? SHIP: Thirty nine astrasiderial days. DOCTOR: What! That's nearly three months. SHIP: That is at full warp drive. We have hundreds of light years to cover. CHRIS: Hundreds of light years. In three months. That's an incredible speed. DOCTOR: Yes, but not nearly fast enough. Ship, can you alter your own circuitry? SHIP: Yes, I can do that. DOCTOR: Right then stop. SHIP: Repeat please. DOCTOR: I said stop. Halt. (The SHIP's engines die away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 20. SPACE (Deep in space now, the ship slows to a stand-still.) TOM: I was delighted, until I discovered that the journey will take nearly three months. I ordered the ship to stop. [SCENE_BREAK] 21. SHIP, CONTROL ROOM (NOT MADE) CHRIS: What are you doing? DOCTOR: I'm going to introduce this ship to a few new concepts. SHIP: Accomplished. DOCTOR: Regrade your deoscillation digretic synthesisers by ten points SHIP: I cannot do that. The drive will explode. DOCTOR: Nonsense, it will be perfectly ... did I say ten points? MINUS ten points! SHIP: Accomplished. DOCTOR: Phew, that would have been nasty. Now, realign your maxivectometer on drags so they cross connect with your radia-bicentric anodes. SHIP: Accomplished. DOCTOR: Good, now this is the difficult bit... [SCENE_BREAK] 22. SHIP, VERY SMALL KRARG GENERATION ROOM (NOT MADE) (The DOCTOR's voice can be heard over an intercom next to the generation vat. The new Krarg is nearly complete. . . ) DOCTOR: (oov) Now switch your conceptual geometer from analogue to digital mode and keep triggering feedback responses till you get a reading of 75 dash 839. SHIP: Accomplished. [SCENE_BREAK] 23. SHIP, MAIN CONTROL (NOT MADE) DOCTOR: Now. Let's see if that works. Alright, ship, activate all re-aligned drive circuits. (There is a noise as the SHIP does this.) SHIP: Something very strange is happening. DOCTOR: Don't worry, keep going! [SCENE_BREAK] 24. SPACE (With a grinding noise, not unlike that of the TARDIS in operation, the ship dematerialises.) TOM: I introduced the ship to a new concepts including the conceptual geometer from analogue to digital mode and keep triggering feedback responses up to readings of 75 dash 839. As the Krarg generation completed, my voice was heard over the ship intercom ordering the activation of all re-aligned drive circuits. Which allow the ship to travel anywhere in a few minutes. A familiar sound was heard as the ship dematerialised. [SCENE_BREAK] 25. SHIP, MAIN CONTROL (NOT MADE) DOCTOR: Bingo! CHRIS: What have you done? DOCTOR: I've constructed a primitive form of dimensional stabiliser by remote control. The journey will only take a couple of minutes to anywhere. Pretty clever don't you think, ship? SHIP: For a dead man, Doctor, you are extremely ingenious. DOCTOR: Yes, well let's not to harp on that aspect shall we? [SCENE_BREAK] 26. SPACE (SKAGRA's command ship is motionless in space.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27. CARRIER SHIP, COMMAND DECK (NOT MADE) (SKAGRA stands beside the sphere in the command deck of his Command Ship.) SKAGRA: Now, my dear, you shall see that though your friend the Doctor is unfortunately deceased, his mind lives from within the sphere. (SKAGRA places his hand on the sphere and turns to the screen-window. An image begins to form on it... The image switches rapidly, to show different views of Romana in Chronotis' rooms as though the Doctor were looking at her.) Ah, you see what is uppermost in his mind. He is fond of you. (ROMANA flashes SKAGRA a look of hate.) But not what I am looking for. Somewhere in his mind, I am convinced he knows the code that will unravel the secrets of this book for me. [SCENE_BREAK] 28. PROFESSOR'S ROOM (The lights on the golden console in PROFESSOR Chronotis' rooms are winking on and off, and the entire room hums peacefully to itself, with the same kind of hum that one hears inside the DOCTOR's TARDIS. CLARE is lying unconscious on the floor. She slowly begins to regain consciousness. She starts to get up and bangs her already aching head on the bottom of a table. She rubs her head and staggers to her feet, then sits down quickly in the nearest chair, as though exhausted.) PROFESSOR: What have you done with my machine? (CLARE jumps at the sound of a man's voice and is even more startled to see the PROFESSOR in a night shirt and night cap peering over a chair at her accusingly. She does not recognise him, but one can easily tell that this is somehow Professor Chronotis! The PROFESSOR gets off the chair, puts on his spectacles and approaches the golden console. He looks it over, presses a few buttons, and the humming noise subsides. He turns back to the now-standing CLARE, smiles at her, and asks...) PROFESSOR: Tea? [SCENE_BREAK] 29. SPACE STATION, EXTERIOR (SKAGRA's formerly invisible ship materialises with the sound of a TARDIS nearby the earlier-seen space station. The station is now completely dark except for the light it reflects from the nearby red sun. The ship slowly descends towards the station and starts to dock.) (Although this is where this scene appears in the script, on the video it is shown later on.) [SCENE_BREAK] 30. SHIP, MAIN CONTROL (NOT MADE) DOCTOR: Well, wherever it is we're going there. CHRIS: Whilst Skagra is presumably going in the opposite direction. DOCTOR: I know. Worrying, isn't it? It's the only thing we can do though. CHRIS: Have you any idea what he's after? DOCTOR: Something's niggling at the back of my mind. CHRIS: What? DOCTOR: I don't know. Whatever it is we've got to stop him. Mind control is the most horrible thing. Any physical threat you can fight, but once someone has control of your mind you've lost everything. That rings a bell. I SHOULD know the answer! CHRIS: It would help if we knew who Shada was. DOCTOR: Who. Or what. [SCENE_BREAK] 31. SHIP, CORRIDOR (NOT MADE) (In the main corridor of the Ship, the newly created Krarg is lumbering towards the control room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 32. KRARG CARRIER SHIP (NOT MADE) (SKAGRA continues to search the DOCTOR's mind for the information he seeks. The screen shows a backwards and forwards effect, as though SKAGRA were rewinding and fast forwarding a VCR tape. Whatever SKAGRA is searching for, it isn't obvious as we see pictures of the DOCTOR's face, inter cut with lots of pictures of the book, both open and closed. There are close-ups of the print. Superimposed on this are very rapid computer readouts, each of which end with the word "INSOLUBLE". Meanwhile ROMANA is watching anxiously.) ROMANA: What's so important about the book? SKAGRA: It is the Ancient Law of Gallifrey. ROMANA: So? SKAGRA: So what does a Gallifreyan judge say when passing sentence? ROMANA: Um... SKAGRA: I'll tell you. "We but administer. You are imprisoned not by this Court but by the power of the Law." (SKAGRA holds up the book.) That used to be quite literally true. ROMANA: You mean the book is the key...? SKAGRA: The key with which the Time Lords used to imprison its most feared criminals. Like for instance... (SKAGRA allows his voice to tail off as his interest returns to the screen. A series of images flash, all as though seen from the DOCTOR's point of view. The book flashes by, so too does the PROFESSOR, so do SKAGRA, ROMANA, WILKEN, CHRIS, and CLARE. Computer data flashes symbolically followed by one word, "INSOLUBLE!") (Shouts) He doesn't know! He doesn't know the code!! ROMANA: I'm glad you realise that. It's about time. (SKAGRA looks at her and turns a thought over in his head.) SKAGRA: Time. About Time. Yes, I should have seen that. A Gallifreyan code would have to include the dimension of time. (Meanwhile, on the screen has been the effect of fast winding backwards and forwards. SKAGRA concentrates his attention on the Sphere.) Stop! Find me the Doctor's last reference to time. TOM: (after the Professor's and Clare's scene - over pictures of computer graphics of the outside of the TARDIS over pictures which were recorded of the people the DOCTOR has met - CHRIS, WILKIN, ROMANA, PROFESSOR, SKAGRA, CLARE, K-9. All the time the word "INSOLUBLE!" appears.) On the carrier ship, Skagra was using the sphere to dive into my mind in search for the code that will unravel the book. Images was thrown up on the screen but one word kept recurring. Skagra was frustrated at my apparent lack of knowledge but he knew the book was the key that which the Time Lords imprisoned their most feared criminals. [SCENE_BREAK] 33. SHIP, MAIN CONTROL (NOT MADE) DOCTOR: Oh come on, ship! What's taking you so long? SHIP: Estimated docking time two minutes. (As the docking of the Ship completes, the KRARG suddenly bursts into the control room. Both Chris and the Doctor leap to their feet and are baffled by the sight of the creature.) KRARG: Who are you? CHRIS: Doctor! (The KRARG approaches the centre of the room, and both CHRIS and the DOCTOR try to edge their way around the slow-moving creature in order to get a clear run for the door.) DOCTOR: Ah, hello there. CHRIS: What is it? DOCTOR: I don't know. KRARG: You are intruders. DOCTOR: Well actually I'm dead and this is Chris. KRARG: You trespass on my Lord's ship. You shall die! (The KRARG raises a prong-like electronic weapon in their direction.) DOCTOR: K-9! (K-9 retaliates, instantly blasting the KRARG with his red coloured nose laser that stops the Krarg in its tracks. However, as soon as the shot ceases, the Krarg starts moving again.) K-9: (Desperately) Master, I can only just hold him with blaster at maximum power. DOCTOR: Hold on K-9! (To CHRIS) We need a power feed - any power feed. (He crouches down and removes K-9's functioning side. CHRIS yanks a power line flex from the wall and hands the bared ends to the DOCTOR who sticks them into terminals inside K-9.) That better? K-9: Affirmative, Master. (K-9's blaster beam holds the Krarg frozen.) CHRIS: What on Earth is it? DOCTOR: What's Earth got to do with it? It looks like some sort of crystalline structure. SHIP: Preparing to dock. DOCTOR: You go ahead. Don't mind us. TOM: (over the shot of SKAGRA's ship materialising near the Think Tank Space Statsion) As the crew and I prepare to dock, the Krarg burst into the room, determined to destroy the intruders. With the aid of a power line, K-9 was able to hold the Krarg immovable [SCENE_BREAK] 34. PROFESSOR'S ROOM (PROFESSOR Chronotis enters the study, still in his night attire, and carrying his usual tea tray. CLARE accepts the teacup.) CLARE: May I ask who you are? PROFESSOR: I was, I am, I will be, Professor Chronotis. Oh dear, we Gallifreyans have never managed to come up with a satisfactory form of grammar to cover these situations. CLARE: I don't know what's happening. What situation? PROFESSOR: Timelessness, standing obliquely to the time fields. CLARE: Is that what we're doing? PROFESSOR: Oh yes, and I'm very grateful to you for arranging it. CLARE: Me? But all I did was to press a button and... PROFESSOR: Yes, I know. A very ancient TARDIS this. I rescued it literally from the scrap heaps. I'm not allowed have one you know, still just as well because I'd be dead still. CLARE: (puzzed) Still dead? PROFESSOR: Yes, I've been killed. Only your timely mishandling of this machine meant that you tangled with my own time fields at the critical moment. (He can see she's not following him.) You're not following me are you? CLARE: No. PROFESSOR: Good. Think of me as a paradox in an anomaly and get on with your tea. CLARE: What? (She remembers the Tea.) Oh yes. PROFESSOR: We must find Skagra. CLARE: Yes? PROFESSOR: He has the book. CLARE: Ah! (Its something she actually knows something about.) PROFESSOR: You know something? (Her face says that "I know of it but I don't know what it is.") It is a very dangerous book and I have been very careless with it. It is the key to Shada. CLARE: Oh. PROFESSOR: The ancient Time Prison of the Time Lords. CLARE: I see. PROFESSOR: They have been induced to forget about it. CLARE: Oh? PROFESSOR: If Skagra is meddling with time control and mind transference, he is only going to Shada for one particular reason and it is imperative he be stopped. (The PROFESSOR rises from his chair and heads for the bedroom. CLARE leaps up enthusiastically.) CLARE: Yes! (then sits down in confusion.) Hm. Why? What on earth is there?! PROFESSOR: (from the bedroom door.) It's not a matter of what, it's a matter of who. [SCENE_BREAK] 35. KRARG'S CARRIER SHIP (NOT MADE) (SKAGRA is still scouring the DOCTOR's mind. On the screen, the book is in the DOCTOR's hands. And the DOCTOR can be heard to say:) DOCTOR: (oov) Not only is this not a book, but time is running backwards over it. (SKAGRA reacts with excitement.) ROMANA: You really are snooping through the Doctor's mind. I think that's horrible SKAGRA: Quiet! I think I have the answer. Come, we try a little experiment. (SKAGRA gets up, excited by this find. He approaches the TARDIS, taking the sphere with him. He holds open the door and ROMANA is forced to follow him.) TOM: Skagra decided that the Time Lord code would undoubtedly include Time and review what he thought what my last few hours. (We see some film and studio bits of the scenes involving the DOCTOR.) Then he took the sphere and the book back to the TARDIS. [SCENE_BREAK] 36. SPACE STATION (The ship docks with the space station.) [SCENE_BREAK] 37. SHIP, MAIN CONTROL (NOT MADE) (With the ship fully docked, the Doctor and Chris make their way to the door of the control room as K9 holds the Krarg at bay, though the Krarg is beginning to heat visibly.) SHIP: Docking sequence now complete. DOCTOR: Right. Let's go and see where we are. K-9. K-9: Master? DOCTOR: Keep holding him. K-9: Affirmative Master. TOM: Chris and I left, leaving K-9 in control of the Krarg. [SCENE_BREAK] 38. SPACE STATION, CORRIDOR (The interior of the space station has changed over the past three months or so. It is now a dark, dank, dreary mess with dirt and rubbish littering every corner. Faintly the Quarantine Message can be heard in the background. The door marked "shuttle bay" opens and the DOCTOR and CHRIS emerge.) DOCTOR: Where are we? CHRIS: I don't know. DOCTOR: Neither do I. CHRIS: ...And I don't believe we just travelled hundred of light years. DOCTOR: Why not? CHRIS: "You cannot travel faster than light" - Einstein. DOCTOR: What? Do you understand Einstein? CHRIS: Yes. DOCTOR: What? And quantum theory? CHRIS: Yes. DOCTOR: What? And Planck? CHRIS: Yes. DOCTOR: What? And Newton? CHRIS: Yes. DOCTOR: What? And Schoenberg? CHRIS: Of course. DOCTOR: (pauses.) You've got a lot to unlearn. (They advance down the corridor and stop at where it joins with another corridor and examine a sign on the wall that says in magnetic-style lettering "IASS" and also, in smaller letter, "ASD". The DOCTOR recognises this and reads) Institute for Advanced Science Studies. CHRIS: ASD - Advanced State of Decay? DOCTOR: Shh! CHRIS: What? DOCTOR: Shh! Did you hear something? CHRIS: No. (The DOCTOR leads CHRIS down the rest of the corridor and into the main chamber of the space station...) [SCENE_BREAK] 39. SPACE STATION, MAIN CONTROL ROOM (The Doctor looks up at the ceiling of the central control room and proclaims:) DOCTOR: Aha! Think Tank! Quite interesting. CHRIS: Quite interesting! This is fascinating. Absolutely fascinating! Do you mean that all this means something to you? DOCTOR: Oh yes! It's all terrible simple. You see... (He stops short as he and CHRIS nearly run straight into a pile of... old-looking men with very long hair.) [SCENE_BREAK] 40. TARDIS - CONSOLE ROOM (NOT MADE) (SKAGRA stands by the TARDIS console. He turns the pages of the book, but doesn't seem to make any progress. He tries opening the book at the first page. Suddenly the central column of the TARDIS jerks, then stops moving. SKAGRA doesn't seem to have noticed. ROMANA has, however, and she is visibly alarmed. SKAGRA turns another page, and the column twitches again. This time SKAGRA notices. His excitement builds as he realises that turning the pages of the book within the TARDIS operates the column that houses the navigational instruments. He stops turning the book and the column halts.) SKAGRA: Exactly! Time runs backwards over the book. So I turn the pages within the time field of this machine and the machine operates. Good. And turning the last page will takes us to Shada. (With great satisfaction he slams the book closed.) [SCENE_BREAK] 41. KRARG CARRIER SHIP (NOT MADE) (SKAGRA, pushing ROMANA in front of him, emerges with the book. He is met by the KRARG COMMANDER.) SKAGRA: I have found the key. KRARG COMMANDER: Congratulations my Lord. SKAGRA: Make all preparations for the entry into Shada. (to ROMANA) And you must prepare yourself to meet one of the greatest most powerful criminals in history. A man the Time Lords have chosen to forget. ROMANA: Salyavin? SKAGRA: Salyavin! The lynch pin to my plans. TOM: In the TARDIS, Skagra was pondering over the book. As he turned the pages he realised the TARDIS central column operated as well. When he stopped turning the column slowed to a halt. He realised that time ran backwards over the book and turning the last page will take him to Shada. [SCENE_BREAK] 42. SPACE STATION, MAIN CONTROL ROOM (Upon closer inspection we can see that the old men aren't old at all. They are in fact the men seen at the start of the story, though now all with three months' long beards, hair, and extremely long fingernails on each finger. They still exist in their zombie like state.) CHRIS: Who are they? What are they, Doctor? DOCTOR: Victims of Skagra's brain drain, whose intellectual powers have been stolen. Their memory patterns might still remain. (The DOCTOR turns and regards them.) CHRIS: If only they can tell us what happened to them? DOCTOR: Yes. What? CHRIS: If only they can tell us what happened to them? (You can see the light bulb that goes off above the DOCTOR's head.) DOCTOR: Bristol. CHRIS: Yes? DOCTOR: Bristol, I would like you to do something for him. CHRIS: Certainly. DOCTOR: It won't be pleasant. (CHRIS looks a little worried but the DOCTOR hits him gently on the arm for comfort.) (Here a link takes place) TOM: On returning to the command ship, Skagra informed the Krarg Commander to prepare for entry into Shada and warned Romana that she must prepared to meet one of the most powerful criminals in history. The lynch pin to his plans. Salyavin! [SCENE_BREAK] 43. SHIP, MAIN CONTROL (NOT MADE) (Inside the Ship, K-9 is becoming desperate.) K-9: Master. The creature is absorbing impossible amounts of energy! Master! (The Krarg seems to be growing stronger in K-9's beam.) [SCENE_BREAK] 44. SPACE STATION, MAIN CONTROL ROOM (The DOCTOR sits down one of the men on the cone structure at the centre of the room. CHRIS sits on the seat opposite him, facing away from the DOCTOR and the man. The DOCTOR turns to the nearby console.) DOCTOR: Bristol? CHRIS: Yes? DOCTOR: I'm going to allow this man access to your intelligence reserves. It's alright as its only temporary, but it might just allow this man to function. (He crosses the room, adjusting wall controls.) CHRIS: I hope you know what you're doing. DOCTOR: So do I. So do I. Take a deep breath. (...then turns some controls at the free-standing console, and turns on the power.) NOW! (Lights begin to twinkle inside the top of the cone, and CHRIS' head slumps back suddenly as though pulled by a force. The DOCTOR examines the man and feels his still-limp arm. He worriedly bends down to listen to his heartbeat, when slowly the man's long-nailed hand reaches over and touches the DOCTOR's curly-haired head. The DOCTOR jumps back, startled, as the man whispers:) MAN: Skagra! [SCENE_BREAK] 45. SHIP, CONTROL ROOM (K-9 is becoming frantic.) K-9: Master. This creature absorbing energy, but it is also growing stronger. Hurry Master. (The Krarg begins to slowly move. . . ) TOM: K-9's continuing blasting was holding the creature paralysed, but the creature's strength was growing. [SCENE_BREAK] 46. MAIN CONTROL ROOM (CHRIS's head lies motionless.) MAN: Who are you? DOCTOR: The Doctor. MAN: What are you doing here? DOCTOR: Who are you? MAN: My name is Caldera. DOCTOR: What? Not A.C.D Caldera? MAN: The same? DOCTOR: The neurologist. MAN: Yes. (The DOCTOR carefully shakes CALDERA's hand.) DOCTOR: It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. One of the greatest intellects of your generation. CALDERA: So are we all. DOCTOR: What? CALDERA: (introduces the rest of the men, from left to right:) A.S.T. Thira the Psychologist, G.V. Centauri the Parametricist, L.D. Ia the Biologist, I. Akriotiti... (The DOCTOR shakes the hand of the first man, pats another one on the head, and shakes his hand in greeting at the one on the end.) DOCTOR: Some of the greatest intellects in the Universe. CALDERA: ...And Doctor Skagra. (This catches the DOCTOR's attention and returned to CALDERA.) Geneticist, and Astro-engineer, and Cyberneticist, and Neurostructuralist, and Moral Theologian. DOCTOR: Yes, and too clever by seven-eighths. Who is he? Where does he come from? CALDERA: We don't know. DOCTOR: What?! CALDERA: But he was very impressive. He offered very handsome fees. So we all agreed. DOCTOR: To do what? CALDERA: Don't you see. The Think Tank was his idea, and he set it up. DOCTOR: He did? To do what? CALDERA: Pulling the pooling of intellectual resources by electronic mind transference. DOCTOR: What? CALDERA: He conceived it on a grand scale the project on a grand scale, just how grand we didn't realised. Not at first, not until we had built the sphere. Not until it was too late DOCTOR: Why? What happened? CALDERA: He stole our brains!!!! (The DOCTOR lowers his head in shock and dismay.) [SCENE_BREAK] 47. SHIP, CONTROL ROOM (NOT MADE) (K9 is clearly losing his battle with the Krarg, which is now clearly moving, and starts running (or wheeling) for the door. . .) TOM: The Krarg was absorbing all the power K-9 could pour into it. The blaster fire was fused into the haze that surrounded the Krarg. [SCENE_BREAK] 48. MAIN CONTROL ROOM (CALDERA struggles to talk as CHRIS' head rocks back and forth. He finally softly says:) CALDERA: He stole our brains! CHRIS: Shh! Easy! CALDERA: The whole of humanity! DOCTOR: What?! The whole of humanity! CALDERA: The whole! But he needed... DOCTOR: What did he need? CALDERA: One mind, one unique mind... DOCTOR: What mind? CALDERA: A man called... DOCTOR: What was he called? CALDERA: A man called... DOCTOR: What was he called? CALDERA: ...Salyavin! DOCTOR: Salyavin? (CALDERA's head falls to his chest...) [SCENE_BREAK] 49. SHIP, CORRIDOR (NOT MADE) (The Krarg is absorbing all the power K-9 can emit, and the blaster beam is now fused in the red haze surrounding the Krarg. The creature moves and K-9 backs away. The Krarg follows him. K-9 concedes defeat, stops blasting, and retreats toward the Main Door of the ship.) TOM: Realising he had lost the battle, K-9 headed for the door, followed by the lumbering Krarg. [SCENE_BREAK] 50. MAIN CONTROL ROOM (With the experiment over, the DOCTOR tries to wake CHRIS.) DOCTOR: Bristol? (no answer. The DOCTOR checks CHRIS's heart.) Bristol? Are you alright? (CHRIS's eyes opened) CHRIS: I feel marvellous! DOCTOR: Good, good, it'll pass. You're fit. (He pats CHRIS on he back as CHRIS gets up.) CHRIS: What did you find out? DOCTOR: Not much, not enough to locate Skagra, just enough to frighten me out of my wits. (Suddenly K-9 enters the chamber.) K-9: Master! DOCTOR: K-9! Why aren't you back at...? (The DOCTOR stops short as he sees that behind K-9 is the Krarg. Its footsteps leave a smoking trail in its wake, and its head and torso glow with a red haze. The glow lights the room, and the zombie scientists cower from it in fear. It smashes its weapon into the wall and a shower of sparks results.) K-9, try and keep it back! K-9: Power supply at danger level. (The DOCTOR moves towards the cone as though to pull CALDERA and the other scientists onto his side of the room, but the Krarg's heat forces him to move to the side. The Krarg swings its prod device into the cone and forces the DOCTOR away. The DOCTOR backs away as the Krarg advances toward him slowly. The DOCTOR tries crawling over the cone slightly differently.) CHRIS: Doctor, look out! (The Krarg slams the cone again, this time knocking the DOCTOR away from the cone altogether and back towards CHRIS. The two back away from the advancing Krarg until they are almost at the wall. The DOCTOR looks straight into the searing red haze of the coal-like creature as it paces forward towards them...)

See Shada, Part One for the full summary of all six Parts.

fd_Charmed_02x19

fd_Charmed_02x19_0

Teleplay by: Brad Kern Story by: Peter Chomsky [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Manor. Living room. Piper is lighting candles. There is a bottle of wine in an ice bucket on the coffee table. Music is playing.] Prue: (from the other room) Piper? (She walks in and notices all the candles.) Oh. Expecting company? Piper: You think? Prue, what are you doing here? I'm supposed to have the house to myself tonight. Prue: Oh, God, I-I-I thought that that was tomorrow night. Piper: No, no, no. I put it on the kitchen calendar way in advance, that's why Phoebe's at the library studying and you're supposed to be out on an assignment. Prue: Yeah, well, I was all day and I was just downstairs in the basement developing these shots that I took and actually was hoping to get your opinion on them. I guess now wouldn't really be a good time would it? (Piper shakes her head.) Although, Leo's not really here yet. Piper: Alright, make it fast. (Prue shows her the photos.) Prue: Alright, so, so, the magazine asked me to capture faces in the city. So I went to the haight and I took these shots but look at this man. (She points to him.) Piper: Yeah, so? Prue: So he is in every single one of my pictures. I-I-I mean, I didn't really focus on him, I didn't even notice him until I got home but there he is in all of them just hanging out. Piper: Well, maybe he's homeless. Prue: But handing out fliers? I don't think so. And look at his face. He looks so sad and determined. (Leo orbs in.) Oh. Piper: Okay, bye, bye. Prue: Oh, oh. Alright, so, uh, I'm gonna go now and I'll be downstairs and work all night long an I'll be really quiet and you won't have to worry about me. Piper: Okay. (Prue hugs her and whispers in her ear.) Prue: So, no s*x without safe s*x. Piper: Thanks. (Prue starts to leave.) Oh, by the way, on the kitchen counter there's a birthday card for dad if you want to sign it. Prue: Um, I don't. 'Night Leo. Leo: Goodnight. (Prue leaves.) Piper: That's weird. I wonder why she doesn't want to sign d... Leo: Hi. (He walks over and kisses Piper.) You wanna sit down? Piper: Oh, why don't we go upstairs, since she's downstairs. Leo: Okay, I know a faster way. Piper: You do? (They orb out.) [Scene: Library. Phoebe's sitting at a desk highlighting pages in a book. She looks around, reaches in her bag and pulls out some potato chips. She eats them and a girl sitting a desk beside her hears her crunching. She looks over at Phoebe.] Phoebe: Oh, I'm sorry. Charlene: I won't tell if you won't. (She shows Phoebe a packet of chips.) Phoebe: Hey, hi, I'm Phoebe. Charlene: I'm Charlene. Actually we've met. We even carpooled. Metaphysics 301, remember? Phoebe: Oh, that's right and your dad is the professor of that class, right? Charlene: Yeah, dirty rat, he gave me a C. We don't get along in anything. Even metaphysics. But I'm, hoping that'll change when I finish my thesis, get published, he'll finally have to take me seriously. I'll quit before I start telling you about my mother. Phoebe: No, it's okay. I've been studying here for so long it's nice to have someone to talk to. So what's your thesis about? Charlene: It's about the existence of demons in our world. Phoebe: Demons? Charlene: Yeah, I've been researching for five years to prove that they're not just myths like my dad thinks, that they actually really do exist. I've got proof right here. Phoebe: It's very interesting. Charlene: But you believe in them too don't you? I mean, you seem to in class. Certainly know a lot about them. Phoebe: Uh, it's really late, um, and I really gotta go. Okay. (She packs up her books.) It was really nice talking to you, Charlene. Take care okay. Charlene: Okay, see you around. Phoebe: Bye. Charlene: Bye, bye. (Phoebe leaves. Charlene stands up and walks over to the book shelves. She walks down the aisle and picks the 'Encyclopedia of Demons' off the shelf. A face of a demon is there.) Sorry, you scared me. (She starts to walk away.) Demon: Wait. (He grabs her and she gets sucked in the bookshelf.) Opening Credits [Scene: Manor. Prue walks in the bathroom. Someone's in the shower. She walks over to the sink and wipes the fog off the mirror.] Prue: Hey, Piper, will you do me a favour and feed the cat? I want to get down to the haight. (She gets her toothbrush and toothpaste.) You know, I wanna see if that guy is still on that bus bench. You know, I just couldn't stop thinking about him all night. I mean, there's no guarantee that he'll actually be there but if he is I wanna get a better shot. (She starts brushing her teeth and then Piper walks in.) Piper: Prue, wh-what are you doing in here? Leo: Piper, can you hand me a towel? (Leo pulls across the shower curtain and sees Prue.) Prue! (Prue's eyes widen.) Prue: Leo. (Piper throws him a towel.) Nice orbs. Piper: Bye. (Prue continues to look at Leo.) Bye. (Prue walks backwards into the door.) Prue: Ow. Piper: Let me help you, let me help you. (Piper opens the door and Prue walks outside.) Alright, go on, sicko. [Cut to the kitchen. Phoebe is asleep at the table with her head resting on her books and highlighter still in hand. Her mouth is open and glasses are on crooked. Piper and Leo walk in.] Piper: Phoebe. (She blows in Phoebe's ear and Phoebe jumps. She looks at the clock.) Phoebe: (panicking) It's 8:00, it's 8:00, I'm late for my finals. Piper: Phoebe, whoa, relax, it's Thursday. Your finals are tomorrow. Phoebe: It's Thursday? Piper: Yes. Phoebe: Today is Thursday. You sure? (Piper nods.) Okay, that's really good news. Piper: Please tell me you didn't do another all-nighter. Phoebe: I can't. Piper: Phoebe. Phoebe: What? Piper, what am I supposed to do? Hi, Leo. Leo: Hey. Phoebe: If I don't ace this final, I'm gonna flunk outta school because of all the demon hunting interruptions. Piper: Still Phoebe, you have to take care of yourself. You have to get some rest. Phoebe: After. Piper, I did not go back to college to fail at it, okay. So what do I have to do? Okay, I'm gonna go change and then I'm gonna go to the library. Now, if any demon or warlock attacks, please just fend them off till Saturday. (to Leo) I have a question for you. Is it possible for someone to find proof that demons really do exist? Leo: Mmm, I don't know, maybe. But even if anybody did, nobody would ever know about it anyway. Phoebe: What do you mean? Leo: Well, evil doesn't want anybody to know. It has a system for covering its tracks, protecting its identity. That's why demons disappear when you guys vanquish them. Piper: Why do you ask? Phoebe: Just curious. Okay, adios. (Phoebe starts to leave.) Piper: Wait, wait, Phoebe. Um, don't you wanna sign dad's birthday card? Phoebe: Why? He never sends me one. (She leaves.) Piper: She's right, he doesn't to any of us. So why do I keep trying? Am I just a sucker for punishment? Leo: No. You keep trying because you never give up hope. (He puts his arms around her.) That's one of the things I love about you. You never give up on us. Piper: Were you close to you dad? Leo: Uhh, well, that was long time ago. A different life time. I prefer to focus on the present. Piper: So do I, which means I have to go, I have a dentist appointment. How long can you stay? Leo: Uh, until they call. Piper: Well, if they don't call before lunch, why don't you meet me at the club. I'll buy. Leo: Well, you'll have to. Whitelighter pay sucks. (They kiss and Piper leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Street. The man in Prue's photos is sitting on the bus bench. Prue walks up to him.] Prue: Hi, uh, my name's Prue Halliwell. (They shake hands.) Cleavant: Cleavant Wilson. (Prue gets her business card out of her pocket and hands it to him.) Prue: I'm a photographer with 415 magazine and I'd just like to know if it's okay if I take your picture. Cleavant: Why? Prue: We're doing a feature called faces in the city and I would love to include yours. Cleavant: Not interested. Although I would appreciate it if you would include this one. (He hands her a flier.) Prue: Tyra L. Wilson? Cleavant: My daughter. She was murdered six and a half months ago right here waiting for a bus. I'm looking for a witness. Prue: That's why you were here all day yesterday. Cleavant: That's why I', here every day. I have been since the police quit on us. I'm not leaving until I find somebody who saw what happened. Prue: How can you be sure that you will? Cleavant: I will. I have to be sure. So you gonna print that or not? Prue: Actually it's not really up to me. (A bus pulls up in front of the bench. Cliff stands up and starts handing the fliers to people getting off the bus.) Cleavant: I'm looking for a witness, just looking for a witness. (He sits back down.) What? Prue: You two must've been very close. Cleavant: She was my daughter. It doesn't get any closer. Prue: You know, I have a, um, a friend, a really good friend who's an Inspector, you know, maybe I can call him, see if they have any ideas who did it. Cleavant: I know who did it. The punk who owns that pawn shop across the street, Gibbs. He killed my little girl. Prue: Why? Cleavant: Wrong place, wrong time. Everybody knows he did it. The problem is he's got everyone too afraid to talk. [Scene: P3. Dan and Leo are punching each other up. Piper comes down the stairs.] Piper: Hey! Hey! Hey! (Dan pushes Leo up against the wall. Dan gets ready to punch Leo in the face but Piper freezes them before he can.) Alright, you first. (She unfreezes Leo. Leo moves out of the way.) What the hell is going on here? Leo: Don't ask me, he just came in here punching. Piper: Dan did? Well, what did you do to him? Leo: What did I do? Nothing. Piper: Oh, come on, Leo, he had to have a reason. Leo: Like losing you isn't an enough reason. Piper: Alright, back to your position. Go on. Leo: Are you kidding me? He's about to clock me. Piper: I'm sorry, I can't help you with that. Let's go, let's go. (Leo stands back where he was. Piper unfreezes Dan, Leo moves his head and Dan hits the wall instead.) Dan: Ow! (He holds his hand in pain.) Piper, where'd you come from? Piper: I'll be the one asking the questions. What the hell is going on? Dan: I don't know, why don't you ask him. Piper: I did, I mean, I will. I'm asking you first. Dan: You know, what? I just gotta go. (He leaves.) Piper: Dan, wait. (The Whitelighters call Leo.) Oh, no you don't. They can wait. Leo: I'm sorry, I have to go. Piper: Leo! (He orbs out.) [Scene: Outside the college. Phoebe ties up her bike. She starts walking and notices the police near by. She goes over to them. There's a crowd of people around.] Phoebe: Excuse me. (She sees Morris kneeled down next to a covered body.) Darryl! (Morris walks over to her.) Morris: Don't tell me. Demons right? Or is it warlocks this time? Phoebe: What are you talking about, Darryl? Morris: You're not here because of this? Phoebe: No, Darryl. Contrary to popular belief, not every crime in this city is demonically related or Halliwell related for that matter. I was on my way to the library. What happened? Morris: A college student. She was decapitated and her body was dumped here. Phoebe: A college student? Any idea who? Morris: Charlene Hughes. Phoebe: Charlene. Morris: You know her? Phoebe: I saw her last night in the library. [Scene: Late on in the library. Phoebe puts her bag on a desk and gets her books out.] Charlene: Hey, Phoebe. (Phoebe's eyes widen.) Do you have an aspirin? I have a splitting headache. Phoebe: Charlene. Uh, you're supposed to be, uh... Charlene: Supposed to be what? (A person walks straight through her.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: P3. Piper's cleaning up broken glass and talking on the phone.] Piper: Okay, just tell Dan that I called again, okay. No believe me, he knows what it's about. Thank you. (Piper hangs up. Phoebe comes down the stairs.) They're both ducking me. Phoebe: Who both? What happened in here? Piper: Dan and Leo. I found them in here beating the crap out of each other and neither of them will tell me why. Phoebe: Whoa. Well, I hate to top that but I am dealing with a ghost who doesn't know she's a ghost. She thinks she's still alive. Piper: Huh? Phoebe: Charlene. She's a student that I know... or knew. The police found her body behind the library. About twenty feet away from her head. Piper: Eww. Phoebe: So I went back to the library and I saw her ghost. You know, I tried to tell her but I-I just couldn't. Piper: You're right, yours tops mine. Phoebe: I just don't get it. How could someone not know that they're dead? Piper: Uh, well, it takes them a while to accept, to get over the shock. Phoebe: Why today of all days? I have got to study. Hey, I know, maybe you could help me out with this one and then I can take the next two ghosts, k? Piper: Nice try, Pheebs, but you know how this works. That ghost came to you for a reason and more than likely it's to get justice for her murder so she can move on. Phoebe: The other thing, I think a demon actually killed her. Piper: Oh, and you were gonna pawn this off on me. Phoebe: Well, no, I was gonna tell you about the demon part sooner or later. Remember what Leo said about evil covering up its tracks? I think that's what happened to Charlene. She was convinced that she found proof that demons really do exist. Piper: Well, then you have to tell her that she's dead. Phoebe: I know, that's the problem. How do you tell someone that their life is over? [Scene: Police station. Prue walks up to Morris.] Prue: Darryl. Morris: Oh, see, I knew I was right the first time. You guys don't give me nearly as much credit. Prue: Credit? Morris: First Phoebe, now you. I've learned by now if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck. Prue: Alright, Darryl. What are you talking about? Morris: Demons. You're here to tell me what got Charlene, right? Prue: Okay, number one - I have no idea who Charlene is, number two - I'm here to talk about Cleavant Wilson's daughter, Tyra. Morris: Tyra? She wasn't killed by demons. Prue: No, but you guys have an idea of who killed her, right? Morris: We've got a pretty good idea. Prue: Just a pretty good idea? Morris: Alright, a very good idea. Why are you so interested? Prue: Honestly, I'm not really sure. I just, I'm drawn to him for some reason and usually that means to help. Morris: Unless you can magically turn up a witness, I doubt there's anything you can do. You can't, right? Magically? Prue: No, if I could do that, Darryl, Cleavant wouldn't be out there giving up his life trying to find one. Morris: You really wanna help? Convince him to give up trying, help him to move on. No one is ever going to testify against Gibbs. We've been down that road. Prue: He is never gonna give up trying, Darryl. Alright, his daughter was his entire life and why are you guys so okay with giving up? Morris: Look, Gibbs owns that street, okay. Tyra was probably gunned down because she saw something he didn't want her to see. And short of us finding a witness or him walking up on the street and confessing, there's nothing we can do. Prue: Maybe there's something I can do. [Scene: Outside P3. Piper is hanging up a poster on the window. Dan pulls up in his car and gets out. He's carrying some files and he walks over to Piper.] Dan: I got your messages, all eight of them. Piper: So you wanna tell me what the fight was about? Dan: Actually, I was hoping Leo would but I gather he hasn't. Piper: He's, uh, unreachable apparently. Dan: You know, this is very awkward for me. I don't want to come across as the jealous ex but that's not what this is about. That's why I went to Leo first. See, I started it. I came at him very hard with this and... Piper: What? Dan: Do you remember my brother in-law who works for the state department, when I asked him about Leo? Well, he found something that wasn't right with Leo's army records. Piper: Dan... Dan: I know, I asked him not to go in any deeper than this, okay but he did and he sent me this anyway. Something very unusual. (He hands her the files.) Leo isn't who he says he is. What you do with it is all up to you. You know I'm still here for you. I'm still your friend. [Time lapse. Piper and Prue are on their cell phones.] Prue: What? Leo's married? Piper: Yeah, there's a picture of her in his army file, being presented his purple heart after he died. She's pretty. Her name is Lillian. Prue, why didn't he tell me about her? Why would he hide that from me? Prue: I don't know, sweetie, you have to ask him. Piper: Well, I'd love to but he's conveniently out of the calling area at the moment. Leave it to me to fall in love with an angel who happens to be married. Prue, maybe he didn't tell me about her because he's still in love with her. Prue: No, come on. How do you know she's even still alive? Piper: Well, I sorta did a little internet search. I was thinking maybe I should go have a chat with her. Prue: No, Piper, I don't think that that's a very good idea but, um, speaking of chats, I need to go talk to this pawn shop guy before he closes, okay. So we'll talk later? Piper: Yeah, okay. [Cut to the pawn shop. Prue walks in.] Gibbs: We're closed. Prue: Well, it's only a quarter... Gibbs: I said we're closed. Get the hell outta here. Prue: You know, you don't scare me. Gibbs: Well, then you're stupid, lady. And stupid people don't last long in this neighbourhood. Ask around. Prue: Are you threatening me? Gibbs: What are you? A reporter? Do you work for the D.A.'s office? What? I've seen you over there talking to that dead kids old man. I know what you want. Prue: Is that right? Gibbs: Yeah, and you ain't getting it. Nobody's gonna mouth on me. Nobody. You're just wasting your time. And you're trespassing. Prue: You know, it must be something living off other people's pain. I hope it doesn't come back to haunt you. (She uses her power and an accordion hits Gibbs. She walks outside and sees Cleavant handing out fliers. He sees her and he sits down on the bench.) [Scene: Library. Phoebe walks over to a desk with books on it. Charlene appears.] Charlene: Phoebe. (Phoebe gets a fright.) Sorry. Didn't mean to spook ya. Phoebe: So to speak. Uh, Charlene, how are you feeling? Do you feel any different? Charlene: Oh, my headache. Oh, I guess, yeah, I mean, I just feel kinda weird in general. Phoebe: I think that's to be expected. (The librarian looks at Phoebe strangely as she can't see Charlene.) Oh, I-I think she's mad at us. Why don't we go over here so we can talk and not disturb anybody. (They walk over near the shelves.) Charlene: Is something wrong, Phoebe? Phoebe: Um, yes, Charlene, actually there is something wrong. I-I think the reason that you've been feeling so weird lately is because you're, you're a ghost. Charlene: Excuse me? Phoebe: Yeah, I know that this sounds crazy and it's probably really hard for you to accept but think about it, Charlene. When was the last time you ate something, or were hungry for that matter, or slept? I mean, are you tired right now, Charlene? Are you even tired? Charlene: What are you saying? Phoebe: I am saying that I think a demon killed you last night. That's what I am trying to say. The only reason I can see you is because I'm a witch and I'm supposed to help you. Charlene: I think you're the one who needs help. Not me. Phoebe: Look, you don't believe me, try picking something up. Now, you know as well as I do that neophyte ghosts can not channel their anger into moving material objects. Try picking up a book. See for yourself. (Charlene walks closer to the book shelf and raises her arm. She hesitates. She puts her arm back down.) Charlene: This is ridiculous. I am not dead. I have a full life ahead of me and I will finish my thesis and I will be published. (She storms off.) Phoebe: Charlene. Charlene, wait. (Phoebe looks at Charlene's notes on the desk. She turns the page and has a premonition of a demon attacking her with a sickle. The premonition ends and Phoebe gasps for air.) Librarian: Shh! [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Manor. Conservatory. Phoebe's on the chair reading the Book Of Shadows.] Prue: (from the other room) Anybody here? Phoebe: In here. (Prue walks in.) Prue: Hey. Oh, good, I was looking for that. Wait, what are you doing with the book? Phoebe: Oh, I'm looking for the demon that's gonna kill me. I just love getting those premonitions. Prue: Oh, okay, what premonition? When? Phoebe: About an hour ago. Right after I was trying to tell Charlene that she's dead. Prue: I'm lost. (Prue sits down.) Phoebe: Oh, sorry, (laughs) wrong sister. Okay, clef notes version. She is a student who found proof that demons really do exist and this demon right here, Libris, chopped off her head and dumped her body behind the library because of it. (Prue reads the page.) Prue: There are a whole bunch of Libris demons out there. "Wherever humans have the potential to find unequivocal proof of the existence of demons." Phoebe: Yeah, talk about your conspiracy theories. Prue: Well, I mean, you just have to stop doing whatever it is you're doing, Pheebs. Phoebe: I can't. Charlene's spirit can't move on unless I get justice for her murder. Prue: So, what, by getting murdered yourself? Phoebe: Well, hopefully not. On the bright side I won't have to suffer through flunking out of college. So how was your day? Prue: Not as bad as yours but it's gonna get a hell of a lot better as soon as I find the truth spell. Phoebe: What do you need that for? Prue: Well, to catch a murderer who thinks he can get away with it. Phoebe: So you're gonna use the truth spell to make him confess? Prue: Exactly. Phoebe: Not exactly. Prue, you can't do that. We can't use our powers to punish the guilty. We learnt that lesson the hard way, remember? Prue: Yeah, but it's not the same thing, Pheebs. I mean, I'm helping a father with his grieving. I'm helping him to move on. It's more like protecting the innocent. Phoebe: No, it's not, honey. Prue: Phoebe, I see this man on the bus bench every single day and he's just waiting there hoping. Why was I drawn to him if I can't help him nail his daughter's killer? Phoebe: Why were you drawn to him? Prue: The look on his face, the pain. Phoebe: The pain of a father's loss? Prue: Maybe. I mean, I can't help thinking about dad and wondering if it hurts him as much not having his daughter's in his life. Phoebe: I think it does. Prue: Yeah, I wish I thought so too but you know, I keep bumping up against this whole theory that if it hurt him so much, where is he? (Charlene walks through the wall.) Charlene: Phoebe. (Prue and Phoebe get a fright.) Phoebe: Charlene. That's Charlene. Charlene: You were right about me. I went home, I saw the folks crying, then I knew it was true. I've never seen my dad cry before. Not over me anyway. Then I got pissed. The demon did this to me. I wanna prove he doesn't exist anymore. Prue: (to Phoebe) Your friend obviously. Phoebe: Yeah, the dead one. [Scene: Lillian's apartment. She gets a medal out of a small wooden box and shows Piper.] Lillian: Leo's purple heart. He was a special man. He always went out of his way to try and help somebody, even before he shipped out. He was studying to be a doctor, you know. Piper: Yes, I know. Lillian: He would of been a great one too. You know, he had the most marvelous touch. It was gentle, sensitive. Piper: Healing. Lillian: Yes, exactly. A healing touch. That was Leo and they said that he was doctoring a wounded soldier when it happened. I'll never forget when they came to give me that news. Piper: It sounds like you still love him. Lillian: I'll always love Leo, in a certain way, for so many things. Including helping me to move on. Piper: Move on? How'd he do that? Lillian: Well, one night not long after he died, Leo came to me in a dream and he was bathed in the most brilliant white light that you could ever imagine. He said I was not to worry about him. That he was in a good place. He also said that I was to let him go, that there was another love out there for me to find. Piper: Another love? Lillian: Yes. Another doctor as it turned out. A wonderful man. He gave me two wonderful children, grandchildren, even a great grandchild. Leo was right. Piper: Well, I think I've taken up enough of your time. Lillian: But you haven't found what you came for yet. Piper: Actually, I think I have. It's very nice to meet you, Lillian. Lillian: You too, Piper. [Scene: Manor. Living room. Prue, Phoebe and Charlene are there.] Charlene: So I was walking down the aisle and I heard strange voices, whispers. It sounded like Latin. And then I went to pull out a book and... I don't know. It all went dark until I was back in the library again with that terrible headache. Phoebe: And you didn't get a chance to see the demon? Charlene: Don't remember. Prue: Alright, well, if it was Libris, he must of grabbed her in the aisle and taken her somewhere else to, you know... (She motions with her hand to show that her head was cut off. Charlene's eyes widen.) Sorry. Charlene: That's okay. I'm over the shock. Phoebe: The question is how did he grab her? And this vanquishing spell isn't gonna do us much good is we can't catch him first. Prue: Well, we're gonna have to do it in the library if we're gonna keep that premonition of yours from coming true. Phoebe: Maybe I can retrace Charlene's steps and that'll bring him our into the open. Prue: Phoebe... Phoebe: And then just before he grabs me, you and Piper can use your powers to stop him and then we can vanquish him, easy as that. Prue: No, that is way too risky. Phoebe: How is it risky with two witches and a ghost to back me up? Prue, help me get my demon and I promise I'll do everything I can to help you get yours. (The door opens and Piper walks in.) Piper: I'm home. (Prue, Phoebe and Charlene walk into the foyer.) Prue: Come on. Piper: Where are we going? Phoebe: We'll explain on the way there. Let's go, let's go. Piper: Who's that? Phoebe: That's my dead friend. [Scene: Library. Charlene's showing Phoebe her notes and Prue and Piper are sitting at another desk.] Charlene: The last thing I wrote was under demonic acts. There. Phoebe: You know, this is pretty accurate. You were really onto something here. Charlene: Obviously. Phoebe: Sorry. Okay, what was next. Charlene: I went to find the encyclopedia. (Phoebe and Charlene walk over to the aisle and Prue and Piper follow.) There's the book. Phoebe: I don't hear any voices. Okay, here goes. (Phoebe raises her hand and pulls the book off the shelf. Nothing happens.) Charlene: Maybe demons can see ghosts. (The demon appears and pulls Phoebe into a portal-like thing and she disappears in the bookshelf. Charlene jumps in after her. The portal closes.) Prue: Where is she, where did she go? [Cut to the basement. Phoebe, Charlene and the demon come out of the portal. A sickle appears in the demon's hand. He gets ready to swing the sickle at Phoebe.] Charlene: No! (The demon turns around but can't see Charlene. The demon gets ready to swing the sickle again but Charlene grabs it.) [Cut back to Prue and Piper. They hear noises through the vent.] Prue: They're in the basement? Piper: Uh, worth a try. (Prue astral projects in the basement.) [Cut to the basement. Prue appears.] Prue: "Demon hide your evil face, (Libris swings his sickle and it gets stuck on an electricity wire.) Libris die and leave no trace." (Libris pulls the wire and gets electrocuted. He disappears and his sickle drops on the floor. Prue astral projects back in her body.) Charlene: That was close. Phoebe: Yeah, thank God you were a quick study. Charlene: At least justice was served. So guess that means I'm moving on. Bye Phoebe. Thank you for this. Thank you for helping me. Phoebe: You're welcome. (Charlene closes her eyes. She waits and nothing happens. She opens her eyes and they look at each other confused.) Charlene: Why am I not moving on? Phoebe: I have no idea. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Prue, Piper and Phoebe are there.] Phoebe: I thought you said all we have to do is get justice for Charlene's murder. Piper: I said maybe that is all you had to do. Phoebe: You did not say maybe. Piper: Yes I did. Phoebe: I did not hear the word maybe. Prue: Shh, shh. (Charlene floats in the kitchen.) You guys aren't helping. Charlene: Are you sure that vanquishing spell really worked? I mean, maybe Libris isn't really gone. Prue: You know, you're really getting good at that. (Charlene floats to the ground._ Charlene: I'm just frustrated, that's all. Phoebe: I told you she was a quick study. Piper: Well, maybe Charlene's right. Maybe you didn't really vanquish him like the demon of Illusion. Phoebe: No, no, he is definitely gone. I mean, the spell was specifically written for Libris. Prue: Yeah, and he wouldn't of left his sickle behind if he were still alive. Piper: But the question still remains. If justice was served, then what is she still doing here? Charlene: Damn it! (She pushes plates off the table and they crash on the floor.) Sorry. (The flier about Tyra Wilson falls on the floor.) Prue: Wait a minute. (Prue picks up the flier.) That's it. Piper: What? What is it? Prue: Maybe she has to get justice for somebody else. [Scene: Pawn shop. Gibbs opens the door and walks in. He pulls up the blind and flips over the open sign. He pulls out fliers about Tyra out of the mail slot and throws it in the bin. Charlene walks through the door. She locks the door.] Gibbs: Who's there? (She flips over the open sign. Gibbs gets his gun.) Charlene: Gibbs. (She picks up a guitar and strums some strings. He shoots at the guitar and she drops it. She then types 'Tyra' over and over on the typewriter.) Gibbs: Tyra. (She knocks his gun out of his hand and then pulls the blinds up and down.) What the hell's going on? Charlene: You know what's going on. Gibbs: Who are you? Charlene: Who do you think I am? (She pushes him on the floor.) How does it feel to be pushed around? (She takes the flier out of the bin.) Murderer. (She scrunches it up and puts it in his mouth.) I'm the woman you murdered. Gibbs: Leave me alone! (He gets up and runs through the door. Glass flies everywhere.) Charlene: Admit it. Admit you killed me or I will haunt every minute of every day of the rest of your miserable life. Gibbs: Okay, okay. Okay, I did it. I killed you. Charlene: Say it, say my name, damn it. (Prue, Piper, Phoebe, Morris, Cleavant and two other policeman walk up to them.) Gibbs: Tyra Wilson. Tyra Wilson. I killed Trya Wilson. I admit it. Cleavant: I've been waiting a long time to hear you say that, Gibbs. Prue: (to Morris) Did you get that? Morris: I got every word. (Morris grabs Gibbs.) Gibbs: What the hell is this? Phoebe: Justice. Piper: What's the matter, Gibbs? You look like you've seen a ghost. Cleavant: (to Gibbs) I hope you rot in hell. (The police take him away.) Morris: How's this connected to Charlene again? Prue: It's a cosmic thing, Darryl. Don't worry about it. (Morris walks away. Cleavant picks up a scrunched up flier of Tyra.) Phoebe: Are you okay, Mr. Wilson? Cleavant: Yeah, I guess. It's an empty feeling though, you know. This doesn't bring her back, it doesn't take away the hurt. Prue: No, but at least you can move on with your life. Tyra would've wanted that. Cleavant: I wish I could tell her how much I love her just one more time. Piper: I think she'll get the message. Cleavant: Thank you for however you made this happen. (Prue hugs Cleavant.) Thank you. (He walks away.) Charlene: Well, even though I could never seem to please my own father, at least I could please someone else's. Prue: I know what you mean. Charlene: I think it's time. (Charlene disappears.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: P3. The Goo Goo Dolls are playing. Phoebe walks up to Prue and Piper.] Phoebe: Hey. Ask me how I did on my finals. Prue: How did you do on your finals? Phoebe: Oh, thanks for asking. I aced it. They just posted the grades. Prue: Yay, good for you. Phoebe: Thanks, although I did get some perspective in the test. After what happened to Charlene, I just didn't seem important anymore. Um, speaking of perspective, (She holds up their dad's birthday card.) I signed dad's card. Piper: Really? Phoebe: Yes. Just in case he thinks of us too. (Piper holds out the card for Prue.) Prue: No, I definitely don't need to sign that. I mean, I realise that dad is never gonna be the father that Cleavant is and I just need to accept that and stop thinking that magically somehow he'll change. (Leo walks down the stairs.) Piper: Excuse me. (She goes over to Leo.) How'd you get in? I thought Whitelighter pay sucked. Leo: I, uh, sorta didn't tell the bouncer I don't work here anymore. Piper: Hmm, imagine that. Like you sorta didn't tell me you were married. Leo: Uh, look, Piper, I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to get upset. It was literally a different life for me, one that has nothing to do with this one, with us. Piper: I know that and I'm not mad. But you can't not tell me stuff because you think it might hurt. If we're gonna have a normal relationship, at least as normal as possible, then you need to be honest with me. Leo: You're right. Sorry. Forgive me? Piper: I'll think about it. (They smile.) Leo: So, uh, how much do you think Dan really knows? Piper: I don't know. We'll worry about it later. (They join Prue and Phoebe and watch the Goo Goo Dolls play.)

After a classmate of Phoebe is murdered by a demon to stop her thesis proving demons exists from being published, Phoebe and her sisters set out to vanquish the demon called Libris so a past victim can move on to the next plane of existence. However, the ghost is unable to move on until she helps Prue solve the murder of another young woman. Piper's preparation at the club for a performance of the Goo Goo Dolls is cut short when Dan arrives with some surprising news about Leo.

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[Before the teaser there is a montage of scenes from previous episodes.] KIM'S ANTIQUES [Mrs Kim hangs a sign "Closed For Wedding" on the front door, then goes to the kitchen] MRS KIM: Mmm, very good. Not too spicy. AUNT JUN: I pack it very tightly. It strangles the spice. MRS KIM: Well, it's perfect, and we're doing very good on time. At 4:00, we move on to dumplings. I'm going to open another window. LANE: Boy, there's a lot of activity down here. MRS KIM: It's going very well. Your aunt Jun is a wizard with the Kimchi. LANE: Well, is there anything I can do to help? MRS KIM: No, go back upstairs. Read the bible passages I've underlined. LADIES: [In Koran] Juh gi in nae! Cham yeppuda. Aaenun unje gajil gueni? MRS KIM: Enough! Back to work! Back to work, all of you! And she will have children in the proper time! [Too Lane] You, upstairs. LANE: But mama MRS KIM: You come down, cooking stops. [pointing upstairs] Up. LANE: But it's hot up there mama, and you know what rises with the hot air? The smell of 10 pounds of Kimchi. I'm getting woozy. MRS KIM: Well, pull your sweater over your face. Just get back upstairs. [Goes to answer knock on the door] LORELAI: Vera Wang calling. Wow, you can almost see that smell. MRS KIM: Is that the dress? LORELAI: It is indeed. MRS KIM: Wonderful Lane, the dress. Well, come on, let's see it. LORELAI: Okay MRS KIM: [Telephone ringing] Hold that thought. [Goes to answer phone] LANE: You couldn't have set it on fire? LORELAI: Dude, there's not enough lighter fluid in the world. LANE: I hope you made a matching blindfold so Zach doesn't have to actually see me in it. LORELAI: Now, come on. You're gonna look beautiful. You have a very pretty face, and you have hands and feet. For some guys, the stuff in between is just annoying. MRS KIM: [Sighs] LANE: Mama, are you okay? MRS KIM: Yes, fine. [Looking at Lorelai] What are you doing here? LORELAI: Arr, I brought the dress. MRS KIM: What dress? LANE: My wedding dress, mama. MRS KIM: Oh yes. LORELAI: I was just about to show it to you. MRS KIM: Right. Go ahead. LORELAI: Um, now, there were a couple of stains on it, just probably from age, so I had to make a few minor adjustments, but I think you'll see, all in all, that the integrity of the dress has remained intact. [Lane is very please, Mrs Kim doesn't seen to care] MRS KIM: Fine. How much do I owe you? LORELAI: Uh, nothing. Um, consider it a wedding gift. MRS KIM: Okay, I have to go back to work. I will see you and Luke at the wedding. LORELAI: Yes, you will. I mean, you'll see me. Luke is out of town, but I'm gonna take pictures and make him feel really bad he missed it. It's a thing we do. MRS KIM: Whatever. Goodbye. LANE: Did she see it? LORELAI: I held it up right in front of her face. LANE: But she didn't yet, It's got a waist, and she didn't yell. LORELAI: Don't question it, take the dress upstairs and hide it till you're walking down the aisle. And even then, walk fast. LANE: Thank you. LORELAI: Okay. MRS KIM: [Yelling from the kitchen] Lorelai, wait! Come back! [Running out side] What do you mean Luke's out of town?! LORELAI: Uh, well, I mean, Luke's left town. He's gone far away from town. Town's there, and Luke's over here. MRS KIM: He's not coming to the wedding with you? LORELAI: No. MRS KIM: You mean you're coming alone, unescorted? LORELAI: Well, Rory will be there so... MRS KIM: No she won't like it LORELAI: Who won't? MRS KIM: You can't come alone. An unmarried woman of a certain age, unescorted, wearing the clothes you tend to wear, people will think things, bad things... LORELAI: Like what? MRS KIM: Like you're a tramp and possibly for sale. LORELAI: Wow, suddenly "Footloose" not seeming so silly. MRS KIM: What are we gonna do? LORELAI: Well I guess first of all we should agree on a price. MRS KIM: You have to find someone to bring you. You have to find a man! LORELAI: In one day? Are you kidding me it took me this long to find Luke. MRS KIM: My daughter wants you at her wedding, fine. But if you're to come, then you need to come with a man. And Kirk does not count! LORELAI: Lorelai Gilmore - disappointing mothers since 1968. YALE NEWS ROOM [It's busy and phones are ringing] RORY: Phones are ringing, people, answer them who knows it could be someone calling with a story. Wouldn't that be neat? [looking at here work] Aah, I thought I told her to cut the second paragraph. Stacy, I thought I told you, cut the second paragraph. STACY: [OS] I forgot. RORY: Good work, Stacy. A.K., Time? A.K.: 3:15. RORY: Okay, everyone, Just a reminder I am leaving at 3:00, which is 15 minutes ago, so if anyone needs anything from me, too bad till Monday. PARIS: My pro-tenure piece. RORY: Okay, thank you. PARIS: And my anti-tenure piece. RORY: Paris come on. PARIS: Just hear me out. RORY: No PARIS: When I first started writing, I believed passionately that tenure was a reward for excellent service and a way for a school to attract the very best teachers from all over the country. RORY: So let's go with that. PARIS: But once I finished writing I started thinking about the other side of the argument, I mean money and employment for the rest of your life? No matter what. Where is the incentive to keep the standards high? I mean Remember professor Leavers? He got tenured and lost all interest. Just sat there dowie and sleepy It was like being taught by Jimmy Kimmel. RORY: Anti-tenure, stamp it, ship it. PARIS: I was thinking you could print both pieces. RORY: What? PARIS: Side-by-side, like a point/counterpoint. RORY: You want me to print a point/counterpoint where both points are written by the same person? PARIS: Bold Huh. RORY: You have five minutes to pick a side. A.K., Time? A.K.: 3:17. ROSEMARY: Ooh, how very "all the president's men." Exciting JULIET: Aha, just the girl we were looking for. ROSEMARY: We have a wonderful idea. JULIET: We are going to Costa Rica. RORY: What?! ROSEMARY: We're gonna fly out tonight and meet the guys at the end of their river-rafting trip. JULIET: We though we'd set up a fabulous camp, dress up like natives, in grass skirts and coconut bras and meet the boys with food, fresh booze, and shaving cream. What do you think. RORY: I think you should double-check your guidebooks, 'cause I don't think Costa Rican natives wear grass skirts and coconut bras. JULIET: Oh how cares there's only a small window of time where a girl can pull off a coconut bra. RORY: Well, thanks for the invite, but I can't. ROSEMARY: What, why? JULIET: Don't you want to see Logan after six days without a shower? ROSEMARY: Or styling gel. RORY: I have a wedding to go to, and I'm leaving in a minute to head home. ROSEMARY: Rats. JULIET: Logan will be very disappointed. RORY: Well I'll hide the soap and the Kiehl's, and we can re-enact it when he gets back. JULIET: Hmm, I'm feeling a chill from the north. ROSEMARY: Okay, well, if you change your mind and please change your mind, call my cell, we leave at Ten. RORY: Have a safe flight. JULIET: [Too so guys] Woodward, Bernstein. RORY: Okay and that's it, layout's done. A.K.? A.K.: 3:20. RORY: I'm audi. Jill, approve Paris' piece when it's in. PARIS: I can't pick a side. Either way I look at it, I'm right. RORY: I'll see you Monday, Paris. DRAGONFLY INN [Front desk, Lorelai is getting things ready for the bachelorette party] MICHEL: You know I hear the weather's supposed to be beautiful tomorrow. LORELAI: Hum. MICHEL: How big a wedding do you think it will be? LORELAI: I don't know. MICHEL: I hope it's a big wedding. I love big weddings. What time are you picking me up tomorrow? LORELAI: Noon. MICHEL: Ah non is fine that will give me plenty of time to get ready. You know, I hope you don't stay out too late tonight. You'll be tired for tomorrow. LORELAI: I will not be tired. MICHEL: I wouldn't drink too much, either, you'll be puffy. LORELAI: Okay, I'll keep it to half a box of wine, max. MICHEL: I'm just saying, tomorrow is a very special day. You need to be perfect. LORELAI: Okay, I'm not getting married, Michel. MICHEL: [A little laughing] I know that, but you are going to be with me, and I'm going to look fantastic, and you know that who you are with is always a reflection of yourself, and I don't want my reflection to look like Judy Garland, the mark Herron years. LORELAI: Michel stop. Now, I'm going to be wearing my blue pinstripes, so if you wear something in an ice blue or [Gasps] Oh, yes, silver, that would look amazing. No one would take their eyes off of us. LORELAI: And how delighted the bride will be. MICHEL: Now let's discuss dancing. As you know, I'm a fabulous dancer, Deney Terrio level and I intend to dance a lot. It's what I do at parties to compensate for the elevated calorie intake. I just shake it all off. LORELAI: Well, I promise to duck. MICHEL: I don't understand your attitude. After all, these are your friends. I don't even know them. SOOKIE: [OS] Lorelai! LORELAI: Yeah. SOOKIE: [OS] Lorelai! Help Lorelai, oh my God...problem. [Sookie comes running out with a covered tray] Something went very, very wrong. LORELAI: Wrong with what? SOOKIE: Remember the dirty cookies I was baking for the bachelorette gift baskets? LORELAI: Ha? SOOKIE: Well, they expanded in the oven. LORELAI: Expanded? What do you mean? [Sookie uncovers the tray] Oh, dear! SOOKIE: I know. LORELAI: Hello, Tommy Lee. SOOKIE: I don't know what happened. Too much yeast. LORELAI: Well, I cannot put those in the bags with the shiny tiaras and the bubble wands. SOOKIE: I know, I know. I know. I'll go try and figure something out. LORELAI: [Cell phone rings, Lorelai answers] Hello? CHRISTOPHER: Hey Lore, you got a minute? LORELAI: Um... [Dance music plays] MICHEL: [To Lorelai] You see? This is what you're up against. LORELAI: [Looks at Michel, then to Chris] Yes, I have a minute. CHRISTOPHER: I just got Rory one of those Sidekicks. Actually I got it for her a couple of days ago, so she already has it. Then I realize that It's one of those things I should have run past you. So I'm running it past you now. Is that okay? 'Cause if it's not, I can take it back. I'll just say I read something in consumer reports about radiation levels. LORELAI: Chris, honey, we're way past the point where you have to get my permission to buy your own daughter a gift. CHRISTOPHER: We are. LORELAI: Yes didn't you get the memo? CHRISTOPHER: Well, you know what a mess my desk is. LORELAI: I think it's nice that you bought Rory a gift. CHRISTOPHER: Good. LORELAI: So, how are you? CHRISTOPHER: I'm great. LORELAI: Yeah? How's G.G.? CHRISTOPHER: She's, well, hold on a sec. [Holds the phone up] You hear that? LORELAI: No. CHRISTOPHER: Exactly. LORELAI: Oh, come on. It's naptime. CHRISTOPHER: Not until 4:00, my friend. LORELAI: Then she's holding her breath until you buy her a Porsche. CHRISTOPHER: She is in her room playing with her toys, shining her halo as we speak. LORELAI: Well, well, well, look who's cracking the whip. CHRISTOPHER: I got to tell you, that "no" word is pretty awesome. I can't wait to try out the "you're grounded." LORELAI: So...[Sees Michel dancing, turns away.] Anyway... MRS KIM'S HOUSE RORY: Lane, I'm here, and I... MRS KIM: Move! RORY: Lane, hi, I... LANE: Coming through! RORY: Am I here early? LANE: Sorry. Hi, glad you're here. RORY: What's going on? And where's all your stuff? LANE: My grandma's coming. RORY: Well Jeez, how big is she? LANE: She hasn't been out of Korea in 45 years because she refuses to travel, so we figured there's no way she'd come, but she called today, and she's coming. RORY: So that's nice right? MRS KIM: [OS] Help me! LANE: Coming! RORY: Whoa, big Buddha! MRS KIM: Save the commentary. Grab the feet. RORY: Okay. MRS KIM: Be careful. Don't let it drop. RORY: What happens if it drops? MRS KIM: It breaks. RORY: Oh, you ask a stupid question... MRS KIM: Down, here. [Grunts] I'll have the boys next door bring the other one in. [To Lane] Did you get the crucifixes out of the kitchen? LANE: No MRS KIM: Go, both of you! Go! Go! RORY: Going. MRS KIM: And don't forget the Christ's-feet tea towel! [Cut to the kitchen] RORY: Okay, seriously, you have got to fill me in or I've gotta call my life line. What is with the Buddha? LANE: Apparently my grandmother's a Buddhist. MRS KIM: Go hide these in your room. LANE: Closet? MRS KIM: Uh, floorboards! [Cut to Lane's old bed room] RORY: I don't understand. So your grandma's Buddhist. Why are we [puts it together] oh, my god. She doesn't know. LANE: No. RORY: Your mother's mother does not know she's a seventh-day Adventist. LANE: And it would be a very big deal if she found out. RORY: That is so weird. LANE: Tell be about it I just discovered today that I am simply the latest link in a chain of Kim women who hide their real lives under floorboards away from their mothers. MRS KIM: [OS] Lane, she's here! I want all boys! RORY: Praise Buddha! [Cut to the top of the stairs looking down] RORY: That's your mom's mom? LANE: Yep. MRS KIM'S MOTHER: [To Lane, Korean] Hyun kyung! Jum e-ri nae ryeo wa bara! RORY: I see the resemblance. MRS KIM'S MOTHER: [Korean] Ah, ipudda. Euhsuh o seyo, ha-l-money. LANE: [Korean] Wa jew shyeo suh nuh moo gibuh yo. MRS KIM'S MOTHER: [Korean] Yeo gi o ni, nuh moo jokkuna. [To Mrs Kim] Yeya, jugee wae bulss-awngul ba-ng anae noonguhya? MRS KIM: [Korean] Chew udun jewngi uhso yo, uhmoney. MRS KIM'S MOTHER: [Korean] Ahyo! Irrokea duropku, dap dap hada. [Sniffs] Moon jom yeoreo ra! Majja, jom chiwo ya getda. Yanuh, wae gonghang ehsuh ahn nawanni. Uh? Na oji malla go -- ahoh, jungmal kiunni napuh. Bakkwoyachi. Beckpalbae julul olija. [Sighs] RORY: What was that all about? LANE: Three complaints, two insults, and a hefty dose of religious guilt. RORY: What are they doing now? LANE: Their ritual of 108 bows. LORELAI: Should be called 108 "ows." [Chuckles] Oh, my mother would have liked that one. It's kind of hypnotizing if you stare at it long enough. LANE: Oh, shoot, we have to go. Uh, mama? Mama, we have to go, the bachelorette party. We're meeting the others at Doose's. MRS KIM: 80 to go. LANE: Okay, so, I'll see you later. Bye. DOOSE'S MARKET - NIGHT [The girls come out with supplies. They are laughing.] LORELAI: Ladies, ladies, please, I need your attention. This is a very serious subject here. Now, I need to do a quick check to make sure we have got all of our supplies. Rory Read off the list. RORY: Beer. LANE: Check. RORY: More beer, SOOKIE: Check. RORY: Pretzels, and beer. GIRL1: Check. RORY: Alternative alcohol for those who don't like beer, and beer. GIRL2: Check. RORY: List complete, Sarge. LORELAI: Excellent now we are about to commence the first leg of our evening. Our dear friend Lane is about to get married, and it is our job to make sure we give her one night and one headache she will never forget. LANE: Hear, hear! LORELAI: Now our first stop is the black, white, and read bookstore, where we will sneak in our booze, our treats, proceeded to get drunk and watch tonight's feature, "American Gigolo." SOOKIE: Featuring a little full-frontal from Mr. Gere himself. LORELAI: All right, let's go to the movies! [Cheering] KYON: [Running up] Wait for me! Sorry I'm late. I had to wait for the two Mrs. Kims to sleep before I can climb down tree to meet you. Luckily all that bowing makes them sleep like dogs. RORY: It's okay, Kyon. We were just leaving. KYON: [Starts stripping] I had to get out of house. Stinks of Kimchi and incense. You can't breath. There's Buddha's everywhere staring at you. [Notices Lane and Rory starring at her] What? LANE: When did you start double dressing and Avril Lavigne?! KYON: Avril lavigne rocks. You are such a snob. If it's not Joy Division, you no like it. Well, you can't dance to Joy Division. [Rory's cell Sidekick rings] LANE: [To Kyon] She's crazy! My whole family's crazy. RORY: Well, welcome to the club. We'll get sweatshirts. LORELAI: Hmm, secret admirer? RORY: It's dad. He gave me this thing as a gift, you know. However, he also got himself one, and since then, he has been texting me every five minutes. It's insane you should have told him no when he ran this past you. LORELAI: I think it's nice you have a real daddy/daughter thing going on. RORY: Oh, yeah, he's shopping for celery at the supermarket. They're running a special. LORELAI: He's just excited. RORY: Yeah, well, now he's in the canned-peas aisle. Apparently he doesn't like peas, but he does like pea soup. Interesting, no? No! LORELAI: All right, give me that. Um, okay. [texting] "Your daughter is about to see Richard Gere's pen1s." That should shut him up for a while. [they notice one of the girls vomiting] That's got to be some sort of record. RORY: Hmm. [Later that night near the gazebo] SOOKIE: I don't understand. I checked the time of the movie twice. LORELAI: Well, the paper probably printed it wrong again. RORY: We could've just gone in. LORELAI: No, too risky. No way to know if we'd missed the money shot. SOOKIE: And "American Gigolo" without the "gigo-down-low" is pointless. LANE: So, what should we do now? LORELAI: Uh, well, we could kill some time till the next showing. SOOKIE: Sure that's only 45 minutes. RORY: So where should we go. LORELAI: We could get some coffee. KYON: "Partay." SOOKIE: Well maybe we could play a game. I do that with the kids and time flies. LORELAI: I don't really think peek-a-boo's gonna fly, Sookie. SOOKIE: Well, we could make it more adult, you know? Peek-a-boo, take a shot. That could be fun. ZACH: Hey! GIRLS: Hey! ZACH: Didn't expect to see you guys here. LANE: We were gonna see "American Gigolo," but we missed it. SOOKIE: I swear, I checked the time twice. RORY: We believe you Sookie. LANE: What are you guys doing here? GIL: We just came from Dell's bar. BRIAN: It closed early 'cause it's Dell's wedding anniversary. LORELAI: Dell's is closed? Shoot. We were gonna go there after the movie. RORY: Well, we could go to the chimney sweep. SOOKIE: No it burnt down last week. RORY: That's ironic. GIL: We could drive over to beacon falls, anything open there? LORELAI: No BRIAN: We could go to my aunt's house. She's got a rec room with a record player. ZACH: No way that's completely lame. Which one's "American Gigolo"? Is that the one where you see Richard Gere's Johnson? 'Cause that seems a little weird for a bachelor party. LANE: No, we are not doing this. ZACH: Doing What? LANE: We are supposed to be getting wild at separate bachelor and Bachelorette parties! We cannot be bumping into each other all night long. LANE: Lady's right. Come on, men. Let's go find something wild to do. GUYS: Yeah! LORELAI: [To the girls] You guys, we are looking pathetic now, all right? We are young, temporarily single girls on the prowl. There's plenty to do that we can be mortified about. RORY: Well, the t-shirts and tiaras are a start. LORELAI: Exactly, all right, ladies, come on. Let's go find us some fun. GIRLS: Yeah! [Later outside Brian's Aunts house] LORELAI: Five more seconds....That's it. Anyone? RORY: Nope. LANE: Nope. LORELAI: Let's do it. [They knock on the door] LANE: Hi. Are you Brian's aunt? BRIAN'S AUNT: Oh, you must be Lane. The boys are downstairs in the rec room. LORELAI: Sounds like they have foosball. RORY: Foosball's fun. ZACH: Bachelorettes in the house! LORELAI: Hey, boys! BOY: Whoo! KYON: Hey, look, there's a moose head. LORELAI'S HOUSE [They are getting ready for the wedding] RORY: Dad's feet are two different sizes. LORELAI: Oh, for the love of, hey, [holding up two small bags] which one says, "hi, I'm not a whore. Enjoy your day"? RORY: The pink one. [phone rings] RORY: Do not talk. We're going to be late. LORELAI: I talk fast. It's my gift. Hello? MICHEL: I just got tickets to C line Dion. LORELAI: What? MICHEL: My friend Tessa just called and told me she has front-row tickets to C line Dion, and I'm going with her. LORELAI: Well, that's great. MICHEL: I have been waiting forever to get this close to C line. Oh, my god, I'm shaking like a leaf. What should I wear? What would C line like me in? LORELAI: I don't know, Michel, but I'm on my way to pick you up, so... MICHEL: Oh, no. Don't bother. I'm not going to the wedding. LORELAI: What? Why not? MICHEL: Because I'm going to C line Dion, hello! What have I been saying to you? LORELAI: No, Michel, you have to go to the wedding. MICHEL: Ah sorry I cannot. LORELAI: Well, you've already seen C line Dion. MICHEL: Only five times, and never in the front row. I was in the balcony with the riffraff and the people who sneak in pot. LORELAI: Michel, you have to go. I need an escort. Find someone there, that's why single women go to weddings. LORELAI: I am not single. I'm engaged. MICHEL: Lorelai, I'm sorry. In the future, I owe you some kind of a favor, but tonight you're on your own. LORELAI: Michel... MICHEL: I'll bring you a mouse pad. Bye-bye. LORELAI: [Hangs up the phone, groans] Michel is going to the C line Dion concert. RORY: Bummer. LORELAI: What am I supposed to do now? Mrs. Kim made it very clear not to show up without a guy. This is ridiculous. Even when I have a man, I'm still the girl who doesn't have a man. This sucks! I've known Lane since she was a little kid. She's spent more time at our house than at her own, and now I'm gonna miss her wedding? Fracking C line Dion! RORY: You want me to see if dad can go with you? LORELAI: What? RORY: I've got him right here he's turning left on main, and he found a buffalo-head nickel in his glove compartment. LORELAI: No, I don't know it's Saturday. I'm sure he's busy. RORY: He just left the hardware store, and now he's parked on the side of the road trying to decide how many tacos he wants. I vote three, 'cause two just never seems enough. LORELAI: Okay, so he's not busy, but the wedding is starting in 45 minutes. RORY: He can be here in 20. LORELAI: Seriously? RORY: Wow, four tacos. Quite a man, my father. So, what do you think? Should I pull the trigger? LORELAI: [Sighs] Tell him to bring me a taco. RORY: Will do. T.P.T.D.I... LORELAI: What does that mean? RORY: "totally psyched to do it." LORELAI: He's making up his own acronyms? RORY: Yeah, and he just learned how to make the happy face. LORELAI: Sorry, kid, what can I say, he was really hot in high school. KIM'S ANTIQUES - OUTSIDE [Lorelai is waiting, some relatives of Lane's are watching and talking about Lorelai, Lorelai covers up some more] CHRISTOPHER: Hey. LORELAI: Hi! [They kiss on the cheek] CHRISTOPHER: Sorry I'm late. LORELAI: Forget it, I can't believe you're doing this. CHRISTOPHER: My pleasure, wow you look great, do I this is the jacket I had with me in the car. LORELAI: Yeah yeah, you look fine. CHRISTOPHER: Hey, check it out, buffalo-head nickel. LORELAI: Oh, great. Let's go. [They start going inside] CHRISTOPHER: Go where. LORELAI: Uh, excuse me. Hi, Mrs. Kim. I'd like you to meet Christopher Hayden. He's Rory's father and a man. CHRISTOPHER: Did that really need clarification? [Cut to inside] LORELAI: She instructed me to bring a man today. I just wanted to show her that I can take direction well. You never know who knows Spielberg. CHRISTOPHER: Why did you have to bring a man? LORELAI: Because an unmarried woman, alone, of a certain age, dressed the way I dress apparently is Korean for Jenna Jameson. CHRISTOPHER: Where's Luke? LORELAI: Ah, out of town with his kid. CHRISTOPHER: Oh, well, then, lucky me. I always wanted to meet Jenna Jameson. RORY: There they are. LORELAI: Yes all nice and proper. CHRISTOPHER: Hey. [kisses Rory] This is very impressive. RORY: It's a Buddhist wedding. CHRISTOPHER: Is the Dalai Lama coming? LORELAI: Yes, he's having the chicken. RORY: Oh it must be starting, you guys should stand over there. CHRISTOPHER: Okay we'll wait for you. LORELAI: You don't get it "He's having the chicken." Dalai lama's a vegetarian. So obviously he's not having the chicken. Huh, sorry, should I have texted it to you instead? [Korean music playing as the wedding party comes into the room] *Note I tried my best with the following, anyone who could help it would be great. [The Minister starts the ceremony, then the two Mrs Kim's get into an argument] KOREAN MINISTER: [Korean] Sarrangun gokwihan sunmool ipmeda. Choshim duryo hapneda. Chongkyung baddya hapneda. MRS KIM'S MOTHER: [Gasps, Korean] Bulss-awng e kkae jjyeotda. MRS KIM: [Korean] Morra goyo? MRS KIM'S MOTHER: [Korean] Bulss-awng e kkae jjyeot seh. MRS KIM: [Korean] Uhmoney. Jigum yeashicki sijack daesuhyo. MRS KIM'S MOTHER: [Korean] Bulss-awng e kkae jjyeot nundae shijack handan maliya? MRS KIM: [Korean] Bulss-awngun gewnchanayo. Gewnchanayo! MRS KIM'S MOTHER: [Korean] E ri wabara. KOREAN MINISTER: [Korean] Han gajongi desuh, hap-baerul deuseyo. OFF SCREEN: [The two Mre Kim's] Choboki kajungae hampkae hakil kimshimuro bimneda. LORELAI: [Sighs, then to Chris] The universal sounds of family. [Cut to a little later out side the house, the two Mra Kim's exit and go to a waiting Taxi] MRS KIM'S: [Korean] Wa jew shyeo suh kipeoyo. Gomapda. Jal itda ganda. Joshimi gase yo. MRS KIM'S MOTHER: [Korean] Young chaya, MRS KIM'S: [Korean] jal- it seora. Jalgase yo, uhmoney. [She opens the car door, her mother gets in and the taxi drives away. Then speaking to the waiting crowd now waiting out side the house,] Go! [Everyone starts running, but not Lorelai or Chris] CHRISTOPHER: Whoa! LORELAI: Hey! CHRISTOPHER: What the hell is happening?! LORELAI: Are there bulls coming out of there? CHRISTOPHER: We would've heard the china breaking. LORELAI: My God. RORY: Why aren't you running? LORELAI: Why should we be running? RORY: To get to the church for the wedding. LORELAI: For what? RORY: For the wedding. CHRISTOPHER: I thought this was the wedding. RORY: The grandmother's wedding. Now we do the mother's wedding. LORELAI: Why do we have to run? RORY: Because there's 58 seats and 62 Koreans. LORELAI: [Taking Chris's arm] Oh, boy! Go! [SCENE_BREAK] [Cut to them on the street] LORELAI: Don't slow down! CHRISTOPHER: My shoes are slippery! LORELAI: Such it up! SOOKIE: Hey! Hi, Christopher! LORELAI: Chris, you remember Sookie and Jackson? CHRISTOPHER: Yeah, nice to see you again. JACKSON: You to. SOOKIE: Nice day for a wedding. LORELAI: Beautiful. JACKSON: Perfect weather. SOOKIE: Why are we running? LORELAI: 58 seats, 62 Koreans. SOOKIE: Fight for me, baby! JACKSON: I'm on it. [Cut to inside the church] LORELAI: What do you see? Do you see anything open? SOOKIE: We'll take two and two! Two and two is fine. LORELAI: We can find four together. SOOKIE: I don't think we can. LORELAI: I see something. Patty, Patty! MISS PATTY: Oh, hi, honey. What a pretty dress. Oh, the things you can pull off with that body. JACKSON: These all taken? MISS PATTY: Oh, no, I just thought I'd save some in case. Here, come sit. LORELAI: It's a mad house in here, how did you get all these seats together? MISS PATTY: Honey, I've been here all night. SOOKIE: You're kidding. Why? MISS PATTY: 58 seats and 62 Koreans? Please. [holding a bag] Carrot sticks? CHURCH - BRIDAL ROOM LANE: God, look at me. I look like a bride. RORY: [giggling] You are a bride. LANE: I feel so weird. RORY: I want a picture. LANE: Of me feeling weird? RORY: No, of me standing next to you while you're feeling weird. [sets up the camera on a bench on auto.] [The door opens] MRS KIM: Everything all right? RORY: Uh, yeah, Mrs. Kim. Everything's fine. MRS KIM: Hmm. The dress looks different. LANE: Really? Does it? Everything looks different through the eyes of a bride. MRS KIM: Rory, can you excuse us a moment? RORY: Sure. I'll be right outside. LANE: Mama, is something wrong? 'Cause the dress... MRS KIM: Forget the dress. Sit down, please. [They sit] Uh...Lane, I have something very upsetting to talk to you about. LANE: Oh, what? MRS KIM: It concerns the wedding night. LANE: Oh, boy. MRS KIM: Yes, "oh, boy." Marriage is a job, Lane. There are rewards that come with this job, but there are also sacrifices. There are things you're going to have to do. LANE: Things? MRS KIM: Terrible things. LANE: Mama, you don't have to... MRS KIM: You need to hear this, you need to know what to expect. It will start early. LANE: What will? MRS KIM: The man's expectations. It starts early, at the wedding, actually. At the wedding, you're going to have to kiss him. LANE: Mama. MRS KIM: You will then be expected to share a bed tonight and when you're in that bed you're expected to... LANE: Mama, please. MRS KIM: You're going to have to do it with this boy, Lane. You're just going to have to do it. Hopefully if you're lucky like me, you'll only have to do it once. LANE: [Groans] CHURCH [Piano plays Mendelssohn's "wedding march", people start coming down the aisle Mrs Kim, Rory and Lane] LORELAI: You know, I remember the day I met Lane. It was Rory's first day of kindergarten, and she insisted on wearing my "Chico and the Man" t-shirt, which I thought would either elicit confused shrugs or label her as a weird '70s-sitcom kid. And we walked in the classroom, and Lane came running up to her and offered to share her crayons with her. And I was so grateful, 'cause I thought even if Lane turned out to be a psycho, bad-seed, serial-killer kid, at least Rory had a friend. Who knew it would turn out to be a lifelong friendship? CHRISTOPHER: Well there you are there's plenty of time for them to have a stupid fight and them to screw it up. [Everyone sits] KOREAN MINISTER 2: Sanrang hanun yoroboon, onul ooriga I-jarieyea moinkusun... LORELAI: This is the first one of Rory's friends to get married. CHRISTOPHER: Yeah...You know, Rory could be next. LORELAI: [Sighs and concerned] Yeah. CHURCH - OUTSIDE [Everyone exists lead buy Land and Zach. Cheers and applause] MAN: Finally! Finally they did it! [Cheers and applause continue] JACKSON: That's just the way I like them, short and in a language I can't understand. SOOKIE: I thought it was beautiful. What an elegant dress. LORELAI: Oh, yeah, the dress did look nice, didn't it? JACKSON: I'm gonna go call the babysitter. SOOKIE: I'll go with you, [to Lorelai] we have this new babysitter. She's 17, sweet as can be, perfect student, references up the wazoo. She seems absolutely perfect in every way. LORELAI: Well, she's probably a crackhead. JACKSON: Thank you. I'm calling right now. SOOKIE: I'll go with you. LORELAI: Let's go find the bar. CHRISTOPHER: Right behind you. ZACH: It was awesome, man. Just flowed right down to the ground. Major league comfortable There's a reason Buddhists are so peaceful. You have to see it. GIL: Yeah, I'm just happy to have another married guy around. ZACH: Hey just 'cause I'm married now doesn't mean we're gonna have any Dr. Phil moments. [Kyon walks past and Brian watches.] GIL: Just wait, my friend, just wait till the first time you don't bring home the dry cleaning. ZACH: Dude, this is my day. Can we not talk about dry cleaning? GIL: Absolutely ZACH: Thank you...This robe, it must be made of silk, 'cause it is so soft. GIL: Silk, huh? Bet it's hand-wash only. [Cut to Lorelai and Chris] LORELAI: That definitely was not the bar. CHRISTOPHER: Maybe it's over there. LORELAI: No, that's the gift table. CHRISTOPHER: Did we try behind the church? LORELAI: Twice. There has to be a bar. [Sookie and Jackson walk up] JACKSON: We called Darla, if that is her real name and apparently everything's fine. Hey, where's the bar? CHRISTOPHER: Just wondering that our selves. RORY: There you guys are. I was very proud of the lack of heckling coming from your section. LORELAI: Yeah, yeah, we were real good now, where's the bar? RORY: Shh, don't say that so loud. LORELAI: What, no! No way, no bar? Are you kidding? RORY: Mom. LORELAI: What they don't have to drink it. [They hear a noise and see something happening at the tables.] LORELAI: If we can't drink, might as well go get something to eat. RORY: That food is not for you. LORELAI: What, hold on, is this the "not married" thing again? Did you tell them I'm engaged? Engaged has got to be worth a sparerib. JACKSON: What the hell are they doing? [People line up to get food and give checks to Lane who is at the end of the table, the people then leave in their cars.] LORELAI: Well, there's something you don't see every day. LANE: [Korean] Gomawoeyo. MRS KIM: [Korean] Wa jew shyeo suh gomawoeyo. LANE: Wow, we just made it. MRS KIM: Ah, yes. They really cleaned us out. Let's see the bag. [They look inside] Nice haul. LANE: I can't believe your friends gave me all this money. MRS KIM: They're good people. They know you're a good girl. Lester Chin probably stiffed you. LANE: That's okay. MRS KIM: I can take those checks back home, put them in the safe for you. LANE: Sure, that'd be great. MRS KIM: It was a very nice ceremony. LANE: It was. MRS KIM: The second one. LANE: I know. MRS KIM: Thank you for doing two ceremonies. It was very important to your grandmother. LANE: It was fun, made my wedding seem a little more special. MRS KIM: Well, it's good you see it that way...Alright well, all my guests are gone. I'm going home. LANE: Are you sure? MRS KIM: Yes, I'm very tired, I'm going to go home and go straight to bed. LANE: Well okay. MRS KIM: I'm going to wear earplugs tonight, the good ones that expand in your ears, so I won't be able to hear anything that might be going on out in the street at all hours of the night. LANE: Thank you, mama, for everything. And look at it this way. You're not losing a daughter. You're gaining a son...[looks over to Zach] who likes to wear a dress. MRS KIM: He had better make you happy. LANE: He will. MRS KIM: Don't let him take pictures in that thing. [Mrs Kim walks home, Lane signals to Kirk] KIRK: We're on, boys! [To Zach] Excuse me, where do you want it, sir? ZACH: Close, dude, really, really close. KIRK: Roger, wilco. Drop it and stack it, boys. LORELAI: Excuse me. Hold on a second. There's something wrong with your dress here. Let me just, got it. ZACH: [Excited] Yes! My wife's got legs! So, let's get this party started! [Cheering] TOWN SQUARE - NIGHT [Blondie's "heart of glass" plays] LYRICS: Once I had a love, and it was a gas soon turned out had a heart of glass seemed like the real thing, only to find... RORY: Two manhattans, extra cherries. KIRK: Excuse me, Rory. RORY: Yeah, Kirk? KIRK: I have to ask you something. Do you think he's yummy enough? RORY: Who? KIRK: Troy. RORY: The bartender? KIRK: Yes. See, I put this company together for the sole purpose of bringing truly yummy bartenders to the lonely women of stars hollow, but they really have to be yummy. I'm talking mouth-watering, tasty morsels of manhood, which, by the way, was the original name of the business, but it was already taken by a firm in Woodbridge. RORY: Really KIRK: Yeah, now, when I first met troy, I thought he was the epitome of yummy, you know? But now I see him in the moonlight, I'm not so sure. RORY: Oh, I wouldn't worry about it, Kirk. I think Troy's plenty yummy. KIRK: You do? RORY: Yeah, I really do... Can I go now? KIRK: Yes, thank you. Enjoy your evening. [Cut to Lorelai sitting at a table on a cell phone] LORELAI: Yes, hi. Is Sookie or Jackson there? No. All right. Well, just tell them Lorelai called. Thank you. JACKSON: Well. LORELAI: She didn't sound drunk at all. JACKSON: But she sounded like there was a guy there, right? LORELAI: No. JACKSON: What about a pimp did you hear a pimp? LORELAI: Yes I heard a pimp, but he sounded like he had a heart of gold. I don't understand. She's too perfect. RORY: Who's too perfect? LORELAI: You are. Ooh extra cherries, cheers. RORY: Cheers. LORELAI: Rory, your father has something he wants to tell you. CHRISTOPHER: Yes, I just want to apologize for my Sidekick stalking. I realize now that I have a problem. LORELAI: Which is the first step to recovery. The second step is that he's now given the Sidekick to me. RORY: No. LORELAI: Yes! RORY: That's worse. LORELAI: [pretending to use one] "Hi, Rory. What are you doing? What are you wearing? What are you thinking? What about now? Do you miss me? Do you think I'm pretty? Where do babies come from?" CHRISTOPHER: Thanks a lot, mister. [Zach and Lane come up] LANE: Hi. [Everyone says hello] SOOKIE: Hello there. JACKSON: Kudos on the hot dogs, by the way. LANE: Zach's idea. ZACH: Lane came up with the fries though. LORELAI: You are so perfect together. SOOKIE: You having fun? LANE: Yes, a little too much fun. ZACH: We actually thought we should make the rounds before we're too toasted to remember who you are. [pointing to Chris] Who are you? RORY: Zach, this is my dad, Christopher, this is Zach. CHRISTOPHER: Congratulations, man. Nice weddings. ZACH: Thank dude. RORY: Hey I want to take a picture of everyone with Lane and Zach. LORELAI: Oh, god, I hate the paparazzi. RORY: Come on get in the picture, say "cheese." EVERYONE: Cheese! RORY: Thanks you. LANE: Okay. We should go. We have six more tables to hit. If we forget to say it later, we are really glad you came. ZACH: Later. LORELAI: Bye. CHRISTOPHER: I'm out. LORELAI: Let me see the picture. RORY: No, you'll delete it. LORELAI: Not if is it's good. RORY: You erase every picture I take of you. LORELAI: No, only the ones where I look like Rhoda. RORY: You never look like Rhoda. LORELAI: Occasional I look like Rhoda. RORY: Fine, here. LORELAI: Wow, you have a lot of pictures. RORY: I like proof, okay? LORELAI: Wait, go back. RORY: What. LORELAI: Flip back. Who's that? RORY: That's me with April. LORELAI: [Surprised] Oh. When did you meet April? RORY: Um, when I went to Philadelphia for Jess' open house. LORELAI: Jess? Philadelphia? What am I missing here? RORY: Nothing. Jess' work had an open house, I was invited, and I went and Luke showed up there with April. It was a total fluke. LORELAI: God, I didn't know you were seeing jess. RORY: Well, I'm not seeing him. We're just friends. LORELAI: Does Logan know you went to see Jess? RORY: No, Logan was in Costa Rica. LORELAI: Huh. RORY: I swear, nothing happened there. LORELAI: Okay. Met April, took a picture together like you're pals. RORY: I swear, mom, it was a crazy coincidence. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just...I felt so weird about it. LORELAI: Oh, sure, I get it. RORY: Look it's not like Luke was trying to introduce her to me. I walked in, they were there. LORELAI: Yeah, right. Okay, fluke. RORY: Are you okay? LORELAI: I'm fine. I'm gonna get another drink. Do you want anything? [She shakes her head] Okay, I'll be right back. [Rory looks sad] [Cut to Zach on stage] ZACH: What's up, stars hollow? Who likes my robe? [Cheers and applause] Thanks. I'm liking it myself. Okay, tonight is not only the night I married the coolest girl on the planet. It is also the world premiere of the newly reunited Hep Alien. [Cheers and applause] It feels great to be back. [Cheers and applause continue as he goes to Lane and they kiss.] Zach starts to sing "I'm a believer". LYRICS: I thought love was only true in fairy tales meant for someone else but not for me love was out to get me that's the way it seemed disappointment haunted all of my dreams and then I saw her face now I'm a believer not a trace of doubt in my mind I'm in love, ooh I'm a believer, I couldn't leave her if I tried [Cut to later that night] LULU: Kirk, I swear, nothing happened! KIRK: I know what I saw! He put fruit in your drink, lots of fruit! LULU: I asked him for the fruit. I was hungry. KIRK: Attention, partygoers and revelers, as I have just recently fired all of the yummy bartenders, from now on, the bar is serve-yourself. LULU: Kirk! KIRK: Too yummy! Way too yummy! LULU: Kirk this is crazy. [Kyon and Brian are making out, cut to Chris and Rory.] CHRISTOPHER: Boy, I tell you, if you have to get married, this is the way to do it. RORY: "Have to get married"? Oh, my, so cynical and jaded. CHRISTOPHER: Well, we can't all be cool like Zach. RORY: I think they're really happy. CHRISTOPHER: Good that's the way it's supposed to be. I'm glad I came to this thing tonight. RORY: Me to. CHRISTOPHER: So, where's Logan? RORY: Oh, uh, he's in Costa Rica. CHRISTOPHER: Costa Rica? Work, play? RORY: Play, always play. CHRISTOPHER: Really what's he doing? RORY: Oh, he's gonna jump off something and raft down somewhere, climb up a thing, swing around on a vine, stuff like that. CHRISTOPHER: Listen, I want you to know that I like him. I like him, and I like you, and I like you and him together. RORY: Well, good. CHRISTOPHER: I just want you to know that I approve. RORY: Dad, it's not like we're getting married. CHRISTOPHER: But if that changes, I just want you to know... RORY: That you approve. CHRISTOPHER: Yes. [Both chuckle] You know, it's been a while since I partied like this, I used to be much better at it. RORY: Well, maybe Logan can give you some tips when he gets back. [Cheers and applause as Brian gets on stage.] BRIAN: Hi. I'm Brian Fuller, bass player for Hep Alien and best man. All right, I want to say a few words about Zach. I've known Zach for most of my life. I've been his roommate and friend, and I just have to say, I think Lane has something very, very wrong with her. ZACH: Boo! RORY: Time for the toast. Excuse me a minute. CHRISTOPHER: Absolutely. LORELAI: [Walks up with a tray] We are doing shots. CHRISTOPHER: For 20, apparently. LORELAI: Pass the salt. CHRISTOPHER: Uh, you know, I'm a respectable man, Lorelai, an upstanding citizen, I'm a father. LORELAI: I know. This is how you became one. CHRISTOPHER: Well, you got me there. BRIAN: In closing, Lane, if you ever want to see a picture of Zach trying to shove 14 ping-pong balls in his mouth, I have it. To Lane and Zach, may they stay together forever... otherwise, Hep Alien is screwed. CROWD: To Lane and Zach! LORELAI: To Lane and Zach! CHRISTOPHER: To Lane and Zach! [As they take shots] LANE: Great toast, Bri. ZACH: Yes, excellent. Seriously, dude, I need those pictures back. RORY: Hi, everyone, I'm Rory Gilmore. I'm the maid of honor. LORELAI: To Rory! CHRISTOPHER: To Rory! [More shots] RORY: I'm not one for speeches, and I don't have any incriminating pictures of Lane, but I do have this letter. CROWD: Ooh! RORY: This letter was written in 1995 by one Lane Kim. It was slipped into my hands during a spelling test in Miss Mellon's class. I was so shocked by its contents that I missed the word automobile -- o-t-t-o-mobile. [Zach is thinking about the spelling] That's right, Lane. I remember. I will now share with you the contents of this letter. "Dear Rory, how was your lunch? "Mine was bad. Did you have ham again? "If you did, I am sorry, but mine was worse. "I thought you should know that today at recess "I decided that I'm going to marry Alex Backus. "He has a very nice head, "and his ears don't stick out like Ronnie Winston's do. "I will love him forever, no matter what. See you at brownies. Love, Lane." I'm sorry Lane I just thought that Zach should know that in your heart, he will always be second place to Alex Backus and his well-proportioned ears. LANE: It's true. LORELAI: Come on, you're behind. [Still Drinking] CHRISTOPHER: Oh, I'm gonna sit this one out. LORELAI: Well that's fun. RORY: But the bottom line is, I love you, Lane. Congratulations. To the bride and groom. LORELAI: To the bride and groom! CHRISTOPHER: Bride and groom! [They take another shot] Where you going? LORELAI: I want to give a toast. RORY: [Hugging Lane] Congratulations. [On stage, Lorelai bumps into the bands stuff] LORELAI: [Sounding drunk] Hello. Everybody, hello. Some of you know me as Lorelai Gilmore, and some of you know me as Cher. But either way, I wanted to say a few words about our girl. I have known Lane forever, and I'm just so incredibly happy that she has gotten married. I mean, I am just so happy that this adorable 22-year-old girl has gotten married, because it's amazing, you know? It's really hard to get married. Believe me, I should know. [Rory looks on worried and looks to Chris, who is also worried.] I mean, seriously, because Lane is married, and next thing, it'll be my daughter, and then my granddaughter, but not me. I'm not getting married. No, it ain't for me. It's not in the cards. But, hey, do you know what date I'm not getting married? June 3rd. [Rory getting more worried] Do not save the date. Do you hear me? Do whatever you want on June 3rd, because there's nothing at all happening on that day. If there's anything you need to book or anything, it's totally safe to book it on June 3rd. [Chris gets up and goes to Rory] So, congratulations, Lane and Zach. Who else here had eight shots of Tequila? Anybody? Hands...no? Oh, my gosh, who misses the yummy bartenders? I know, me too. They were so great. I was gonna ask them to not work on June 3rd on my not wedding. I just thought that would be so fun. [Chris and Rory come on stage] Hi, Chris. Hi, Rory. RORY: How about some coffee? LORELAI: What? Okay. Well, I guess we're going over here. ZACH: Totally perfect wedding. [Lane and Zach kiss] LORELAI'S HOUSE RORY: Get her over to the couch. CHRISTOPHER: Man, I must say, when your mom does something, she commits. RORY: Just prop her up. I'm gonna make some coffee. CHRISTOPHER: You know hon, if the two gallons we poured down her throat at the wedding didn't do anything, I'm not sure what two more cups will. RORY: Hey no one knows how to wrangle the powers of coffee like a Gilmore. Just prop her up. She hates to get pillow face. CHRISTOPHER: Pillow face. Got it. RORY: [cell phone rings] Hello? [Rory comes in the living room] RORY: Logan's hurt. CHRISTOPHER: What, what do you mean? Is he all right? RORY: I don't know. That was Colin and the line was bad. Something happened on their trip. They're airlifting him to a hospital in New York. CHRISTOPHER: Oh boy! RORY: I got to go. I want to be there when he arrives. CHRISTOPHER: Yes, go. I can take care of your mom. RORY: Leave her a note that I'll call her from the hospital. CHRISTOPHER: I will. Go. [Sighs] All right, Calamity Jane, let's get you to bed. LORELAI: [Groans] No. CHRISTOPHER: Yes. [Cut to later that night in the bed room, Lorelai is asleep in her clothes and Chris is asleep in a chair, the phone rings] LORELAI: [Half asleep] Hello?... Hi. What time is it? [Sighs] Yeah. I, uh...um...[Sees Chris] no, Luke, it's fine. I'm glad you called. [Sighs] Uh-huh. [Sighs and waves to Chris as he leaves.] Yep, the wedding was great. She looked beautiful.

Lane and Zach's wedding day is a glorious mix of Buddhist and Christian, red silk and white satin, ceremonial awe and awesome partying. Lorelai suddenly realizes that Rory may be next...and she may be never.

fd_The_Vampire_Diaries_05x13

fd_The_Vampire_Diaries_05x13_0

[Whitmore College] (Katherine is writing in a diary) Katherine: Dear diary, I love my life. Seriously, becoming Elena Gilbert is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I finally have everything I ever wanted. I'm young, healthy, gorgeous. Everyone loves me, but best of all, I'm a vampire again, so rest in peace, Elena. Thanks for giving me your perfect life, and now that I've corrected the single worst decision you ever made: falling in love with Damon Salvatore... I'm gonna win back the one thing I've always wanted. (Katherine, Caroline and Elena enter a classroom) Caroline: So we all agree? No more moping about life's little failures and no more dabbling in the dark arts of boyfriends past. This is a fresh start Katherine: Couldn't agree more. I happen to love fresh starts Bonnie: Um, I haven't been moping or dabbling Caroline: No one likes a bragger, Bonnie (They sit down. Bonnie looks at the girl beside her) Bonnie: Hey. Do you mind if I share... Great. Thanks. Appreciate it Caroline: Today is the dawning of a new era. This is stage one in our metamorphosis into the land of the brave, the free, and the single Katherine: Bonnie's not single Caroline: Bonnie's best friends are single, which makes her single adjacent. So she can be our wing woman (She shows them a flyer) Katherine: "Whitmore's annual bitter ball, a night to celebrate broken hearts, jilted lovers, and bitter singles."This is our fresh start? Caroline: No. This is our purge, our cleanse. This is where we rid ourselves from the baggage better known as our tragic and mortifying first semester Katherine: I'll drink to that Caroline: Bonnie! Bonnie, you in? Bonnie: Yeah. Yeah. That sounds like fun [Salvatore's House] (Stefan enters the house. The house is a total mess) Damon: Hey. Sorry about the mess. I had some company, and things got a little out of hand Stefan: You want to tell me what the hell's going on out in the driveway? Damon: Ah. I let Enzo drive last night. He is a little out of practice. Almost ended up in the damn foyer. Oh. You mean Aaron Stefan: Yeah Damon: Yeah. Well, last night, we hunted him down, and I ripped his throat out. Yeah. I just figured it's time to shove the last branch of the Whitmore family tree into the... wood chipper Stefan: So Elena breaks up with you, and your first instinct is to go a killing spree? Could you be any more predictable? Enzo: It was my idea if it makes you feel any better. Enzo. Remember? We met when... Stefan: When you were trying to tear Damon's head off. Yeah. I remember. So, what, you guys are old pals again, murder buddies, is that it? Damon: Well, you know how it goes. I mean, I left him for dead, he tried to kill me, we worked things out. When you spend 5 years with someone in a dungeon, you have a pretty unbreakable bond Enzo: Say, you haven't heard from Dr. Wes Maxfield by any chance? Bloke's next on the Augustine hit list, and he's a slippery little devil Stefan: Is that the plan? Kill off Augustine and then go back to your sadistic, psychotic old self? Damon: I happen to like my old sadistic self, Stefan. In fact, I miss that guy. That guy was dumb enough to try and change himself to get a girl. Get another hobby, brother, because I'm not in the mood to be saved. Enzo: What do you say? Shall we get you a new hobby? Golf... Scrapbooking? Damon: Scrapbooking Stefan: Come on, Damon. You're better than this Damon: On the contrary, brother. I'm better like this [Whitmore College] (Katherine is on the phone) Katherine: Hey, Stefan. Um, it's me. I was just, uh, wondering... I mean, I know things are kind of crazy and you're probably busy, but maybe you might want to come to campus and we can get a drink or, I don't know, talk Matt: So you're trying to get back with Stefan? Katherine: I didn't ask you to editorialize. I asked you if that was something that Elena would say [Mystic Grill] (Matt is on the other end of the phone) Matt: Yeah, I guess (Nadia takes the phone from him and compels him) Nadia: Walk away and forget this conversation. Are you happy? Can I leave now? Katherine: No. Stay close. Matt is my Elena Gilbert cheat sheet. Because I didn't know Bonnie's middle name, which is Sheila by the way Nadia: You promised we would spend some time together. How long do you expect me to sit around the Mystic Grill like some sad, lonely bar fly? Katherine: Oh, please. Don't pretend that baby-sitting Matty blue eyes is some sort of hardship. I mean, didn't you lure him into your bed in Prague? Nadia: I didn't lure him, and I wasn't compelling him to forget everything. He's not a puppet Katherine: Ah. Ok. I get it. You like him. That's adorable Nadia: Ok. I'm hanging up now [An abandoned Building] (Wes enters a room. A man is tied up) Wes: Hello. How are you holding up? Man: What's going on? Who are you? Wes: My name is Dr. Wes Maxfield, and you're Joey, right? I saw your name stitched on your work shirt when I grabbed you. Apologies, but I never managed to make proper acquaintance of the janitorial staff before the hospital lost its funding. It's depressing, isn't it? The economy is no friend to medicine Joey: What do you want from me? I don't have any money Wes: Ironically, Joey, neither do I Joey: What did you do to me? Why am I so hungry? Wes: Well, in simple terms, I turned you into a vampire. Now I'm gonna condition you to feed on other vampires instead of humans Joey: What? You're what? Wes: Would you believe that I've already done it once? Now all I have to do is replicate it. Research is just money and time. I've got time. I'll find money (A woman enters) Woman: Perhaps I can help you with that Wes: Who the hell are you? Woman: I'm judging your crappy lab Wes: Still didn't catch your name Woman: Sloan, and I'm here to help you, so you can lose the arrogance. I'm here to offer you new funding for your research Wes: What do you know about my research? Sloan: I've been tracking your Augustine experiments for months. So in return for money and protection, I have some blood I want you to analyze Wes: Sorry, but I'm done getting into bed with mysterious benefactors, and I don't need your protection Sloan: I beg to differ (She shows him a bag) Wes: This is Aaron's bag. Where'd you get this? Sloan: I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Aaron Whitmore's car was found abandoned in the middle of the road last night Wes: No... Sloan: No one has seen or heard from him Wes: He's dead, isn't he? Sloan: My guess is, yes, he's dead, and more to the point, you're next [Salvatore's House] (Enzo and Damon are in the basement) Enzo: So once we've finished off this Augustine mess, what do you say we do a road trip? I was thinking South America, Cape Horn. Sailed past but never stopped over Damon: I'm not thinking that far ahead (They enter the cell. Diane Freeman is inside) Damon: Rise and shine, Diane. How's our favorite head of Whitmore Security? Enzo: Oh, that's ironic, isn't it, you know, since we broke in and kidnapped you from your office Diane: Let me go, please. I have two kids Enzo: A mother. Ah. Interesting. Well, then you can imagine how heartbreaking it would be to learn that your child committed suicide, especially when said child was actually murdered by a vampire, a murder covered up by you Diane: I didn't do any such thing (Damon compels her) Damon: Now, Diane, tell the truth. Did you cover up a vampire attack on campus by forging a suicide note or two? Diane: Yes Enzo: Ah. Looks like the Vervain is officially out of her system Damon: Now I want you to tell me exactly where I can find Dr. Wes Maxfield Diane: I have no idea. I haven't heard from him in days Damon: Well, that's a shame, Diane, because that makes you a dead end Enzo: Well, technically. Now she's a dead end Damon: On to the next [The Woods] (Enzo is digging. Stefan rejoins him) Stefan: I see Damon's got you on shallow grave duty Enzo: Be a mate. Grab a shovel Stefan: I'll pass. Buried enough skeletons out here Enzo: I'm sensing a metaphor Stefan: I think you need to find yourself a new best friend. Damon's in a bad place right now, and you're not really making things better. I know you just got out of captivity and you're looking to blow off a boatload of steam, which is fine. Just...do me a favor. Leave my brother out of it Enzo: He mentioned you were a bit of a do-gooder Stefan: You know what makes somebody walk a straight line? When they have no choice but to be the balance for somebody who's about to fall off the edge Enzo: Ah, but it's so much more fun when you can just commit to the leap. You're welcome to join in on the fun. Looks like you could use it. Good man Stefan: Why don't you be a mate, huh? Get in that car, start driving, don't look back Enzo: You think that hurts? I'm curious, Stefan. What do you think you can possibly do to me that hasn't been done a hundred times before? Go on. Give it your best shot Stefan: What I do to you, Enzo, will be final. Got it? Be sure I never see you again [Whitmore College] (Katherine is in the dorm. Caroline rejoins her) Katherine: Good! You're back! I need your help. Diamond or dangler? Caroline: Since when does Elena Gilbert accessorize? Katherine: Since she's being conned to go to the bitter ball with her best friend Susie Sunshine Caroline: Look. You're not fooling anyone. I know that you're faking it Katherine: Faking? I'm what? Caroline: Please. It is so obvious. I appreciate it, I do, but you know I'm on edge because of the whole Tyler-Klaus thing, so you are pretending that breaking up with Damon was no big deal Katherine: Caroline Forbes, how do you always see right through me? Caroline: Look, Elena. You don't have to pretend with me, and if you don't want to go tonight, it's all good. I can be bitter, party of one Katherine: Do you think Stefan would want to come? (Her phone rings. It's Stefan) Katherine: I was... just about to call you Stefan: Hey. Listen. I need to talk to you, but I didn't want to do it over the phone Katherine: What's wrong? Stefan: Let's just say it involves Enzo Katherine: Oh. Enzo. Uh...Ok. Then maybe we should meet in person. Actually, Caroline's dragging me to this Whitmore thing for lonely hearts. I think you should come Stefan: Yeah. No, thanks. I already did the college thing. Twice actually Katherine: Please. If it's bad, then I'll owe you a fun time [Mystic Grill] (Tyler rejoins Matt at the bar) Tyler: Give me whatever will obliterate the memory of Caroline Matt: I thought you said you weren't drinking anymore Tyler: No. I said I wasn't drinking alone today (He sees Nadia) Tyler: She's new Matt: Whatever you're thinking, unthink it. That's Katherine's daughter, and the psycho doesn't fall far from the tree Nadia: I can hear you, you know? Matt: You locked me in a safe and buried me alive Nadia: I'm sorry, but I was trying to save my mother's life, and I failed, so if you don't mind, I'd like to sit here and grieve in peace Tyler: You want a shot? I want a shot. Let's do shots Matt: What? Tyler: Well, you heard her. She's sorry, her mom's dead. Let's do shots Matt: It's your funeral (They start drinking) Tyler: My mom was so afraid I'd flunk the eighth grade and embarrass her, she actually wrote an entire English paper for me Nadia: Oh! Oh. My mother was so desperate for companionship, she compelled an entire town to be her friend Matt: My mom hooked up with you Nadia: Oh, my God. Seriously? Matt/Tyler: Afraid so Nadia: Drink, both of you Tyler: Wow! Kind of forgot about that one. I have to pee Nadia: Hybrids pee? Matt: There's got to be a fire hydrant joke in there somewhere Tyler: Hilarious. Pour another round (He leaves them. Nadia compels Matt) Nadia: Who's Enzo? Matt: I don't know. I've never met him Nadia: But you've heard of him Matt: He's Damon's buddy from Augustine. They were cellmates for 5 years. I think he's free or something Nadia: Thank you. Forget everything I've said since Tyler left [Whitmore College] (Bonnie and Jeremy are together) Jeremy: So we're going to a dance, but we can't show up together because you can't bring a date? Bonnie: Told you it was weird Jeremy: Better idea. Let's get another hotel room instead Bonnie: Caroline would kill me Jeremy: Bonnie, we're happy. Can't we just act like it? Bonnie: You know what? You're right. I am happy (Damon rejoins them) Damon: It's like driving past a car crash except you want to look away Bonnie: What are you doing here? Damon: I tutor some kids in calculus. You know, I like giving back, be a good role model. Kidding! I'm here to kidnap your boyfriend Jeremy: You're not funny. Let's get out of here Damon: You're not going anywhere, buddy Bonnie: Let go of him Damon: Or what? You'll glare me to death?You don't have your little magic wand to back you up anymore, bon-bon Jeremy: Hey. leave her alone Damon: Relax. I'm here for you, not her, you idiot. Keep up. Anyway, I have this hit list, and I can't find my last target, so basically, I need a witch Bonnie: Ok. Well, you just said it. I can't do magic anymore, so go away Damon: Grams ran occult studies. I'm sure we could throw a rock and hit a witch around here. So listen. Take this... this is Wes' blood. My buddy Enzo kept this as a souvenir. Now this should jump-start a locator spell. Ticktock Jeremy: Are you deaf? She is not helping you. You're not gonna hurt me. Elena would... Damon: Elena would what? Hurt me, dump me? Been there, done that, wrote the country song Bonnie: Kill you. She would kill you Damon: Cool. And then me and her all her doppelgangers could start a baseball team on the other side (Enzo rejoins them) Enzo: What have I missed? She denied your request yet? Can we get on to the fun bit? Bonnie: Who the hell are you? Enzo: The one who gets people to do things they don't want to do Bonnie: Stop! Stop! Ok. Fine. I'll help! (Caroline and Katherine arrive at the party) Katherine: Dead corsage? Caroline: Thank you (Stefan rejoins them) Katherine: Hey! You made it Stefan: I did. So who thinks up these things? Katherine: Lonely single people. Come on. See? As promised, fun Stefan: You seem good Katherine: I got the same reaction from Caroline like I'm not allowed to smile or something Stefan: Did I say that? Katherine: No, but I see your look Stefan: Oh, I have a look? Katherine: Yeah. That look. I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me. I'm great actually. I'm the only non-bitter person at this bitter ball Stefan: Hmm. Elena, listen. I need to talk to you about something. Damon... he got himself into some bad stuff Katherine: Yeah. Well, it's what Damon does. If he gets the tiniest bit hurt, he lashes out. He doesn't think, he doesn't try... He just acts, and for the longest time, I tried to fix him. I'd try to change him, but I think he ended up changing me, and I'm not sure that I like the person that I've become. I mean, do you? Stefan: Do I what? Katherine: Do you like who I am, or do you miss who I was? Stefan: Elena, I... Katherine: let's change the subject. What did you want to tell me? What did Enzo and Damon do now? Stefan: You know what? Could we talk about it later? Is that ok? Katherine: It's fine by me Stefan: Ok Caroline: Hey Stefan: Hey Caroline: Do you mind if I borrow her for a minute? She promised that she'd join me at the shredding station Stefan: Sure. Yeah, no. She's all yours Caroline: Thanks! Katherine: Shredding station? [SCENE_BREAK] [Mystic Grill] (Tyler and Matt are at the bar) Matt: Nadia's not compelling me Tyler: Really? Where the hell's your Vervain? Matt: Right here Tyler: You see? She swiped it and probably compelled you not to notice Matt: Why would Nadia be compelling me? Tyler: I have no idea. Is there any Vervain here? Matt: Yeah. Sheriff Forbes makes me put it in the coffee Tyler: Drink some now [Whitmore College] (Caroline and Katherine arrive at the shredding station) Caroline: Did you bring anything to shred? Katherine: No because I didn't realize people still printed photos. Ok. Do you feel cleansed? Caroline: Almost (Caroline takes Klaus' horse drawing) Katherine: Tyler drew you a horse? Caroline: No. Klaus did Katherine: Wow. Clean sweep Caroline: Yes. I am making a decision. These relationships are over. Over.I'm not going to change my mind just because I'm feeling bored or nostalgic or lonely Katherine: Wait. Are you doing that thing where you're talking about yourself but really you're talking about me? Caroline: I'm just saying that you've been through a lot lately, and your emotions are all over the place. So are Stefan's. I think that making yourself so available could maybe be confusing things Katherine: Do you think that I'm leading him on? Caroline: No. I didn't say that. I just... I...ugh. Just forget it. Just... just forget everything I said Katherine: Ok (Damon and Bonnie arrive) Damon: Makes me so happy I'm not 19 and stupid. All right, Bonnie.Where's your little witch friend? Bonnie: Liv Parker. She's in one of my classes, and she's not my friend. I looked her up, found out she works events catering. This is a total shot in the dark Damon: Well, I'm feeling lucky (Caroline rejoins Stefan) Caroline: Come on. Come be bitter with me Stefan: Oh, no, no, no. You are the second person that I didn't come here to dance with Caroline: Ok. Then what are you not telling Elena? Stefan: Way to eavesdrop, Caroline Caroline: You came to a dance of your own free will. Something is up Stefan: Ok. Fine. Damon fell off the deep end Caroline: Uh, what do you mean exactly by deep end? Stefan: For starters, he killed Elena's friend Aaron Caroline: He... what? Stefan: Yeah, and I came here to tell her, but we were dancing, and she seemed so happy, and I just couldn't Caroline: You think if you tell her what he did that she'll give up on him forever? Stefan: Yeah. I know she will, and I don't think I'll be able to pull Damon back from that. I mean, I've seen Damon at his worst, Caroline, and I actually think he enjoys the way it makes him feel. It's like the more pain he can cause; the more reasons there are for people to hate him. He wants to confirm everyone's lowest expectations of him, and I just honestly don't know how to fight that side of him (Damon and Bonnie rejoin them) Damon: Why all the dramatics, brother? Stefan: What are you doing here? Caroline: Bonnie, what's going on? Damon: Oh, don't worry. I'm not her date. We're not gonna break any bitter ball rules Stefan: How about you just answer the damn question? Damon: Well, Bonnie is gonna find me a witch to do a locator spell on the elusive Dr. Wes Maxfield. She's gonna find him, I'm gonna kill him. Bon-bon, should I tell them? Bonnie: Enzo has Jeremy. If I don't get a witch to find Wes by midnight, he'll kill him (Katherine is alone and on the phone) Katherine: If Jeremy Gilbert's life was hanging by a thread, could I credibly just let him die?Because his death would be really convenient for me Nadia: Are you seriously making a pros and cons list? Katherine: Are there any cons? Because I've only listed pros Nadia: Katherine! Katherine: I'm just saying his death would earn me a lot of tenderness and sympathy from Stefan Nadia: If Jeremy is in danger, Elena would do everything in her power to save his life. You know that Katherine: But Stefan is here. We were dancing. It was good, and I think he was even flirting with me, which is very naughty, even for him Nadia: Listen. If you don't start acting like you care, they will figure out you're not Elena Katherine: So if I happen to know exactly where he is, I'm supposed to go and put my life in danger to save that little rug rat's life? Nadia: Do you know where he is? Katherine: He's at that hideous Whitmore house. I recognize it from the picture. Apparently I'm the only one who's been to a Whitmore tea party Nadia: Save him now! Katherine: Ok. Fine, but in the meantime, I'm gonna need you to find out from Matt if Caroline has feelings for Stefan because she's really starting to grate. I need to know what I'm up against [Mystic Grill] (Nadia is waiting for Matt outside) Matt: Who keeps calling you? Nadia: Does Caroline have feelings for Stefan? Matt: Caroline? I have no idea Nadia: Think. Has Elena ever been worried Caroline might steal Stefan away? Have they ever fought about him? Matt: Not that I know of Nadia: So you think Elena can win Stefan back? Matt: Why are you asking me about Elena? Nadia: Forget we had this conversation (She leaves. Tyler rejoins Matt) Tyler: So was I right? Matt: Ty, you're not gonna believe what I'm about to tell you (Nadia intervenes) Nadia: You're not going to tell him anything [Whitmore College] (Stefan rejoins Katherine) Stefan: You ok? Katherine: I just can't lose Jeremy again. Stefan, please. Help me save him (Bonnie and Damon rejoin Liv) Liv: This room's off limits Bonnie: Look. Under normal circumstances, I'd probably try to warm up to you, be your friend or something, but I'm kind of under a time crunch, and I need your help Liv: Am I supposed to know you? Bonnie: We're in sociology together. I'm Bonnie. My grams Sheila Bennett used to teach here, occult studies Liv: Never heard of it or her, so... Bonnie: I know you're a witch. I saw you spin that pen this morning Liv: I have no idea what you're talking about Bonnie: You don't have to be scared. I used to be one, too Liv: Yeah. No. Try the campus coven club or something Bonnie: I really need your help Liv: Even if I wanted to help, I couldn't. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just some freak, ok? Now leave me alone (Caroline intervenes) Liv: Oh, my God! What the hell are you? Caroline: You're gonna help my friend. Do I need to say it slower? (Liv is sitting down with Bonnie. Caroline and Damon are with them too) Liv: Vampires are real. Ok. That makes sense. Actually, that makes no sense Bonnie: Concentrate. Forget about the vampires. Focus on tapping into your power, listen to the sound of your heart beating, the sound of your lungs filling with air Damon: How long's this gonna take? Caroline: For a newbie witch to learn a complicated spell under massive stress? I have no idea. Bonnie? Bonnie: Repeat after me. Phesmatos tribum nas ex viras, sequitas sanguinem Liv: Wait. What? Bonnie: Just relax. Now keep your eyes closed and use the blood to find Wes Liv: I have no idea what he looks like Bonnie: You don't have to Damon: That a good sign? Liv: I can't do this Bonnie: Just concentrate. Try again Liv: I can't do this. Don't you get it? I've done horrible things. I've set buildings on fire, I've hurt people. I can't control any of it (Damon phones rings. He answers) Damon: Witchy hotline. How my I help you? Damon speaking Enzo: What's taking so long? Damon: They seem to have lost motivation. Maybe you can inspire them Enzo: Heh. With pleasure. Let them know Jeremy will be dead very soon Damon: Thank you (He hangs up) Bonnie: What are you doing? Damon, call him back right now and you tell him to stop. Damon, call him back! Damon: Just so you know, cooperation's not optional (Jeremy is Enzo's prisoner) Enzo: Damon tells me your sweetheart hasn't come through on your behalf Jeremy: What are you gonna do? I'm sure killing me would really inspire her Enzo: Heh. You know, you're right. She'll think I'm just some clich murderer. I really like to make a good impression, you know? Jeremy: You don't have to do this Enzo: You see, that's the thing about threats. If there's no follow-through, no one takes you seriously. Sorry to make this about me. See? Wasn't so bad Bonnie: I've done bad things, too, ok? I've broken windows; I've set more fires than I can count Liv: Is that supposed to make me feel better? Bonnie: I'm saying I learned how to control it. I can teach you the same thing. This is Jeremy Liv: He's cute Bonnie: Yeah, he is, and his life is literally in your hands Liv: Ok. But if I go all Carrie and burn the school down, it's on you Bonnie: Ok (Stefan and Katherine find Enzo and Jeremy) Katherine: Jeremy! Damn it, Jeremy! (Stefan is with Enzo) Stefan: You should have left when I told you to Enzo: Did I give the impression I was taking orders from you? My bad Katherine: Come on! Come on! Wake up, Jeremy (Jeremy finally wakes up) Katherine: Ugh. Thank God. Stefan, help me! (Damon rejoins them) Enzo: You missed all the fun Damon: Spell worked. Wes is in Richmond Enzo: Brilliant. I'll drive Stefan: Damon... Don't bother coming back Damon: I wasn't planning on it [An Alley] (Tyler wakes up. Matt's here) Tyler: What happened? Where's Nadia? Matt: Sorry. Slight misunderstanding Tyler: She snapped my neck. What the hell kind of misunderstanding is that? Matt: You were right. She was compelling me but only because she wanted to talk about Katherine and she knew I was pissed at her. I guess they didn't really settle their mother-daughter issues before she died Tyler: She wanted to talk about Katherine? Matt: Yeah, but she knew that you would go after her if you knew she was frying my mind. I guess she's got that whole stone-cold survival thing going. Like mother, like daughter Tyler: A little friendly advice. Stay the hell away from her Matt: Yep. I plan on it Tyler: You call me if she gives you any more hassle (Matt rejoins Nadia in her car) Matt: I took care of it Nadia: If he follows us, I'll kill you both Matt: I said I took care of it. Earlier on the phone, you weren't talking to Elena. You were talking to someone who needed information Nadia: Do yourself a favor and stop asking questions Matt: Your boyfriend once planted himself inside my brain. That's how you were planning on saving Katherine. She didn't die, did she? She jumped inside Elena Nadia: The only thing easier than breaking your neck is taking off your magic life ring. Do you understand? Matt: Yeah. What are you gonna do with me? Nadia: I haven't decided yet. First, we need to get the Vervain out of your system, and then, we'll see [Abandoned Hospital] (Damon and Enzo are looking for Wes) Enzo: So what do you say? Paper, scissors, stone for who gets to give Dr. Frankenstein his fatal blow Damon: Nah. He's all yours Enzo: Now don't tell me you're having second thoughts about leaving home Damon: I was there for Elena. We're done. No reason to go back Enzo: What about your brother? Damon: You saw his face. I know that look. He's done with me, too (They stumble upon travelers) Damon: And you are? Wes: My backup Damon: You got to be kidding me Enzo: What is this? Agh! More witches? Damon: Close. Travelers Wes: Good luck making new friends, Damon [Whitmore College] (Katherine is in the dorm. Stefan rejoins her) Stefan: You ok? Katherine: Oh. Um, you know, actually, would you mind? I think I still have a splinter in my back Stefan: Yeah. Sure. Yeah. There it is. Try not to move Katherine: Sorry. I think I know what you wanted to tell me tonight, Stefan Stefan: Got it Katherine: Damon killed Aaron, didn't he? You walked right through the threshold at the Whitmore house. You couldn't have done that if the owner hadn't been dead. Aaron was the owner Stefan: Yeah. I... I should have told you. Sorry Katherine: Why didn't you? I thought that we... Maybe I don't deserve anything from you, but I thought we could be honest with each other no matter what Stefan: You want me to be honest? Katherine: Yes Stefan: All right. Truth is, ever since the first time I noticed you falling for my brother, I have been waiting for him to screw something up so badly that you would hate him, so I've been waiting and watching him do all these horrible things, and then every single time I think that he's gone too far, he's there for you, sometimes in ways better than I ever was. So the truth is after a while, I just stopped waiting for him to fail because I liked the person that he had become... And I don't want to lose that person Katherine: He threatened my brother. Stefan, I can't go back to that Stefan: I know Katherine: But if you want to save him from himself, then I'll help you but not for myself and not for him. For you [Abandoned Hospital] (Damon regains consciousness) Enzo: What... what'd he stick you with? Damon: I don't know Enzo: Come here Damon: I can tell you, if he stuck me with that cannibal vampire poison, we might have a little problem Enzo: What kind of problem? Damon: Wes has this sick little scheme to destroy vampires by making them feed on each other. You hear that? (Damon finally finds Wes' prisoner) Joey: Can you get me out of here? I don't want to be here. I need to get out. Thanks. I owe you. What's happening to you? Damon: I'm gonna go ahead and say karma. Karma's happening to me (Damon bites him and kills him) Enzo: Damon? Damon, stop! Ok, I can see how this might be a problem

Katherine has her sights set on getting back Stefan and Wes on the other hand continues with his experiments. Stefan is uncomfortable with Damon's newly forged friendship with Enzo, who continues to hunt and is now looking for Wes. In order to find Wes' location, Damon and Enzo confront Bonnie and want her to find a witch to make a spell to find Wes' location, and just to make sure Bonnie does that Enzo keeps Jeremy as a hostage. Katherine then asks Nadia to search information about Enzo and who he is so she compels Matt but Tyler overhears it. When Nadia found out that Tyler has overheard her conversation with Matt, she gets angry and attacks him. Jeremy is saved by Stefan and Katherine just in time, and when Damon and Enzo meet Wes they are attacked by a group of travellers. Later it is revealed that Wes injected Damon with something and now Damon starts feeding on other vampires.

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_05x19

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_05x19_0

THE ENEMY OF THE WORLD by DAVID WHITAKER first broadcast - 6th January 1968 running time - 23mins 5secs [SCENE_BREAK] 1. ENTRANCE (Guards file in escorting DENES. JAMIE is one of them.) GUARD CAPTAIN: Prisoner and escort... Halt! SALAMANDER: Bruce, you are head of World Security, I hold you personally responsible for this man Denes. BRUCE: Why? Don't you trust your own security? SALAMANDER: Do I have to insist? My name carries some weight in the councils of the world. BRUCE: Of course it does. SALAMANDER: Well do as I ask. BRUCE: Very well. SALAMANDER: Fedorin, come with me. We must make a report to the world authority. DENES: They won't believe a word you tell them. SALAMANDER: We shall see. Fedorin. (SALAMANDER and FEDORIN exit. DENES ignores FEDORIN.) BRUCE: I'll do what I can for you, but I don't want any trouble. DENES: Don't worry. I'm looking forward to facing Salamander in public court. I won't run away. [SCENE_BREAK] 2. SALAMANDER'S OFFICE SALAMANDER: You've done very well, so far, Fedorin. FEDORIN: It's nothing but a blackmail. SALAMANDER: Blackmail? What have I threatened you with? Nothing. FEDORIN: No. But you would if I refused to. (SALAMANDER produces a dossier.) SALAMANDER: Fedorin, I keep on telling you, this is just a form of comprehensive insurance, huh? Is nothing for you to worry about. Oh, my dear man, I've done nothing but praise you ever since we first met. I said you should be European Controller. I said I would support you. FEDORIN: You found out things about me, lies that would damage me. SALAMANDER: On the contrary, I'm doing you a good turn. I'm actually suppressing facts about you. FEDORIN: Lies, I tell you! SALAMANDER: Lies, truth, who knows. But we wouldn't want to put it to the test, would we, huh? (He returns the dossier to the safe, takes out a small container and locks the safe.) SALAMANDER: There. FEDORIN: What's this? SALAMANDER: Used in the right way, at the right time, it can dictate your own future, and the future of Alexander Denes. FEDORIN: Poison? [SCENE_BREAK] 3. ENTRANCE BRUCE: I want you to take a message... (The guard turns around. It is JAMIE.) BRUCE: McCrimmon? What are you doing dressed like this? JAMIE: Leader's orders. BRUCE: Well as you're here, I've got some questions I want to ask you. JAMIE: I've better things to do, thank you. BRUCE: I want to know what Salamander and Giles Kent were discussing when I saw you last. JAMIE: It's not for me to tell you that. BRUCE: I'm concerned with Salamander's safety. Giles Kent is supposed to be his bitter enemy. JAMIE: Look, if Salamander wishes you to know that, I dare say he'll tell you himself. You'll get no confidences out of me. [SCENE_BREAK] 4. HALLWAY DENES: Well how much longer am I to be kept here? (The guard does not reply.) DENES: You choose to be insolent? GUARD: We're waiting for the security hover-car. The volcanic eruptions have disrupted everything. (The GUARD CAPTAIN appears.) DENES: Well, Captain, isn't there a room I could wait in? GUARD CAPTAIN: I am simply obeying orders. DENES: Perhaps you might interpret your orders differently, huh? CAPTAIN: Mister Denes, what can I do? You are no longer the Controller. You're a prisoner here. (BRUCE enters.) BRUCE: Captain? Why is Mister Denes being kept in the corridor here? CAPTAIN: It's easier to guard him here. BRUCE: Hmm. (To DENES) You alright? DENES: Yes, thank you. BRUCE: Something to read, perhaps? DENES: That would be a comfort, yes. BRUCE: The Controller is not to be treated as a convicted man before his trial. See he has whatever he wants. (BRUCE leaves.) CAPTAIN: What can I get for you? DENES: Well if we have to wait, something to eat and drink. CAPTAIN: Very well... GUARD: Prison rations, Captain? CAPTAIN: Certainly not. Nothing but the best for Controller Denes. From our Leader's own kitchens. GUARD: Sir. CAPTAIN: And to read...? DENES: Something light, um, a book about foreign travels, perhaps, hm?. [SCENE_BREAK] 5. KITCHEN (FARIAH has brought VICTORIA to GRIFFIN the chef.) GRIF: So you reckon you know about cooking, eh? VICTORIA: Yes, I used to do lots at home. GRIF: All right, give me a menu. VICTORIA: Now? GRIF: Yeah, now. VICTORIA: Uh... uh... soup... fish... meat and pudding... ah... GRIF: Dessert? VICTORIA: Yes. GRIF: Go on, what else? VICTORIA: Oooh... GRIF: Yes, you're a bit too smart for me. Alright then, let's have a recipe. VICTORIA: What, now? GRIF: Yeah, now. VICTORIA: Uh... uh... Oh, yes! Yes! We used to have a lovely pudding at home, with lots of almonds, eggs, lemon peel, candy peel, oranges, cream and, oh it was lovely! GRIF: You wouldn't know how to make it? VICTORIA: Oh it's quite simple, really. You sort of whoosh it up all together. GRIF: Well that sounds easy. What's this whoosh-up called, then? VICTORIA: Kaiser pudding. GRIF: Oh that's great, just great. Yes, I've got a job for you, alright. Peel those spuds. Yeah, now. (VICTORIA sets about her peeling.) FARIAH: Is that the best you can do for her? The girl must learn. GRIF: Back at school, are we? Well I suppose there are worse things. The place could be overrun with rats gnawin' holes in the gas pipes so the ovens catch fire and burn the building down, hahaha... FARIAH: It isn't that bad, Grif. GRIF: Look, I'm only trying to help with the see... There you see, this chicken's brownin' too soon already, it'll be as tough as rubber. FARIAH: Oh, Grif... GRIF: Now the soup's boilin'. Did I put any salt in it? Dinner tonight's going to be national disaster. My mother was right. VICTORIA: What? GRIF: She wanted me to be a dustman. Here, look, you want to do something useful? VICTORIA: Oh yes please. GRIF: Well sit down and write out the menu. First course interrupted by bomb explosion. Second course affected by earthquakes. Third course ruined by interference in the kitchen. I'm goin' out for a walk. It'll probably rain. (GRIF exits.) VICTORIA: He doesn't like me. FARIAH: It isn't you. He's the same with everyone. VICTORIA: Even Salamander? FARIAH: Listen. You must go away from here. Don't get caught up in Salamander's world. VICTORIA: Why? What do you mean? It sounds as if you don't like him. FARIAH: Like him? I... (JAMIE enters.) JAMIE: Oh hello there. FARIAH: Finish writing those menus. (FARIAH leaves.) VICTORIA: Do you hear that? JAMIE: Aye. Work on her. I have a feeling she can tell us something about Salamander. VICTORIA: Alright. As soon as I can. What have you been doing? JAMIE: I managed to slip out and tell Astrid everything that's happened. VICTORIA: Oh you might have told me, Jamie. JAMIE: There wasn't time, she's trying to get Denes away. VICTORIA: And take him to the Doctor? He'd believe Denes. JAMIE: Aye, he would. VICTORIA: But how will she get in? Salamander's got guards everywhere. JAMIE: She's got friends here. They're going to arrange passes and the right sort of uniform. VICTORIA: What sort of uniform? JAMIE: Don't know. Messenger delivery or something. Shh! (Voices are heard from the garden.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6. GARDEN, OUTSIDE KITCHEN WINDOW (JAMIE watches two guard commanders walk pass.) ONE: ...Controller Denes has been arrested. I can't make up my mind whether Fedorin is to be regarded as the new Controller or not? OTHER: The burden of office is heavy, my friend. I remember when I was... (The voices trail away as the two move out of sight.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7. KITCHEN JAMIE: Alright, they're gone. VICTORIA: Astrid and Giles Kent were quite right, Salamander is an evil man. I can somehow sense it from all the people here. JAMIE: Aye, he's bad alright. He's had Denes arrested, and he's got this man Fedorin eating out of his hand. VICTORIA: Why should he do that? JAMIE: Remove the honest man, and put a weaker man in his place - but somehow have a hold on him. That way Salamander can take over the territory. VICTORIA: I see. And when everything's in a turmoil because of the earthquakes. JAMIE: Aye, and that's lucky to say the least. VICTORIA: But y... you don't really believe that Salamander could cause earthquakes, do you? [SCENE_BREAK] 8. A VOLCANO ERUPTS [SCENE_BREAK] 9. ON A TELEVISION SCREEN, LAVA FLOWS DOWN A HILLSIDE [SCENE_BREAK] 10. KENT'S CARAVAN, AUSTRALASIAN ZONE (The lava flow is seen on a portable television, watched by KENT and the DOCTOR.) KENT: I'm certain Salamander's causing the earthquakes, Doctor, and I'm sure your friends Jamie and Victoria will tell you just how bad he really is. DOCTOR: Why make earthquakes? KENT: Well years ago, Doctor, when one country wanted to invade another, it set about attacking the confidence of that country, throwing it into confusion, making it weak. Then it was ripe for takeover. Now isn't that exactly what's happening here only in a different way? DOCTOR: Well what you're saying is that Salamander's found a way of... of harnessing the natural forces of the earth. It's a little difficult to accept. I'm not saying it's impossible, mind you. You said it's coming from the research station, Salamander's research station, eh? KENT: That's what I believe, in spite of... Shh! (He nervously looks around.) KENT: ...in spite of a number of reasons. He invented the sunstore, a brilliant advance, he found a way of directing conserved energy to areas starved of sun. DOCTOR: What made you suspicious? KENT: The money he was spending at the research station, the materials involved, the food stores, it didn't make sense. I had all the papers, all the requisition orders. DOCTOR: But that's valuable evidence! KENT: All destroyed, and new ones appeared, and I was made out to be the criminal. All by suggestion, of course. I was discredited. And every accusation I made against Salamander was put down as an attempt to throw suspicion off myself. DOCTOR: A sort of Jekyll and Hyde character, perhaps, our Mister Salamander. It'll be interesting to see what report Jamie brings back. (A siren is heard. We hear a car pull up.) KENT: Security, quick! Here. (The DOCTOR climbs into a trunk.) DOCTOR: I hope there's plenty of air in here. KENT: Yes, yes. (KENT closes the lid. The door bursts open. BENIK enters.) BENIK: So... it's you. I might have known. KENT: Do you have any authority? BENIK: You are on research station territory. KENT: Not quite. Have a look at the boundary lines. BENIK: That's very clever. Well, what are you doing here? KENT: I don't have to answer your questions. (BENIK notices KENT's telescope.) BENIK: Birdwatching, no doubt? KENT: Perhaps. BENIK: Yes, there's a perfect view of the research station from here. KENT: Really? (BENIK takes a framed picture from the wall.) BENIK: Well, well, well. A memento of the old days. (He smashes the picture on a table corner.) KENT: You have no right to... BENIK: Guard! (A guard steps inside.) BENIK: It's just an accident. Now then, you won't be staying in this vicinity, will you? KENT: You can't make me leave here. (BENIK nods to the guard. The guard systematically smashes KENT's crockery.) KENT: Hey now, watch that! BENIK: Alright, that's enough. (The guard exits.) BENIK: Well there's not much point in your staying here now, is there? Oh I wouldn't complain to anyone about this if I were you, Kent. After all, nobody would believe you, would they? (BENIK exits. KENT opens the trunk and helps the DOCTOR out.) KENT: Come on. Now do you believe the sort of people we're up against? DOCTOR: Unpleasant, yes, destructive, but not necessarily evil. KENT: Why won't you believe me? DOCTOR: It is too important. I must be sure. Oh... such pretty crockery this is. Sad really, isn't it? People spend all their time making nice things, and other people come along and break them. KENT: That's what I'm trying to tell you about Salamander, he's trying to destroy the world!! DOCTOR: Facts, Kent, I must have facts. That's what I hope Jamie's going to bring back. [SCENE_BREAK] 11. CORRIDOR GUARD: Halt! Why are you running? ASTRID: I have an urgent message for Leader Salamander. GUARD: Hm. Your pass? (ASTRID produces her pass.) GUARD: You have not been here before. ASTRID: No. GUARD: I thought so. Next time, do not run. It is dangerous to run here. ASTRID: I'll remember. GUARD: Wait! You like wine? My name is Yannos. We drink wine together tonight? ASTRID: I have to go and deliver my message. GUARD: Yes, but later you will come back? ASTRID: Oh yes. Yes, I will come back. (She turns and immediately bumps into the CAPTAIN.) GUARD CAPTAIN: Just a moment! ASTRID: I have an urgent message for Leader Salamander. CAPTAIN: Yes I heard you. Where is it? ASTRID: It's private and personal. CAPTAIN: I don't want to read it. Keep still. (The CAPTAIN tries to look at ASTRID, she avoids his gaze.) ASTRID: I have to deliver this to Salamander personally. CAPTAIN: You do have a message? ASTRID: Of course. CAPTAIN: Then show me. (ASTRID produces her message.) CAPTAIN: Very well. I know you from somewhere... (DENES, watching, drops his book on the floor. It momentarily distracts the CAPTAIN.) DENES: Oh, I think I must have dropped off. (The CAPTAIN picks up the book.) DENES: Thank you. (ASTRID takes the opportunity to get away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12. KITCHEN (JAMIE is enjoying a meal as ASTRID enters.) ASTRID: Sit down. Go on with what you're doing. We've got to rescue Denes - get him away from the building. (ASTRID checks the windows and doors.) VICTORIA: There are guards everywhere. ASTRID: I know, but we must try. JAMIE: It's a pity we can't get him to the Doctor. ASTRID: That's exactly where I intend to take him. JAMIE: Well what's your plan, then? ASTRID: Look, I want you to, well, cause a diversion. JAMIE: What do you want me to do? ASTRID: Well, anything. But do it at eleven o'clock precisely. JAMIE: Eleven o'clock, right. (GRIF returns.) ASTRID: I see, the second corridor on the right, thank you so much. (She leaves.) JAMIE: Ah... yes. GRIF: Now we're a travel agency. I haven't met you before. What's wrong? It's bound to be something serious. VICTORIA: This is a friend of mine, Grif. GRIF: He's not a cook like you, I hope? VICTORIA: No... GRIF: Oh well that's alright then. Well I suppose this is as good a place as any for meetin' friends. Come one, come all, I say! How's the food? (He tastes some.) GRIF: Terrible. Terrible. I'll get the sack tonight, I swear I will. Maybe they'll shoot me. I won't have to worry anymore. No, they wouldn't do that, the firing squad'd miss me. (FARIAH enters.) FARIAH: How are you getting on with the food for mister Denes? GRIF: Well it's ready, such as it is. Now we don't want too much of a crowd in here. JAMIE: Well I'll be on my way, then. GRIF: No no. You stay. I'll go. I'm only the chef here. FARIAH: Now, what can we give mister Denes? JAMIE: Ah, do you like working for Salamander, Fariah? VICTORIA: It must be wonderful travelling all over the world with him. FARIAH: I don't enjoy travelling. Hmm this is good. That Grif's a genius. JAMIE: Why travel then? FARIAH: Sometimes we do what we have to do, not what we want to do. JAMIE: You don't have to work for Salamander. FARIAH: Don't I? Don't I? What do you know about it? JAMIE: Sorry, I was just... FARIAH: To you, Salamander is a god, isn't he? The saviour of the world, that's why you work for him. You saved his life, didn't you? JAMIE: I... VICTORIA: Don't you protect his life every day? FARIAH: Yes! As I say, sometimes we do what we have to do, not what we want to do. [SCENE_BREAK] 13. SALAMANDER'S OFFICE BRUCE: Nevertheless, whatever he's done or not done, he should be treated according to rank. SALAMANDER: He will be moved soon. You can't expect much sympathy for him, you know, Bruce. Word gets around. I warned him about the earthquakes. He could have cautioned the people. Some of them might have been saved. BRUCE: Maybe. SALAMANDER: No maybe about it. (BRUCE begins to leave. He turns.) BRUCE: Who's going to control this zone now? Fedorin? SALAMANDER: Fedorin? Oh what a good idea. [SCENE_BREAK] 14. ENTRY TO KITCHEN (VICTORIA sets off with DENES' meal on a trolley.) GRIF: Be nice to mister Denes. VICTORIA: I will. [SCENE_BREAK] 15. CORRIDOR (GRIF follows after VICTORIA.) GRIF: Give him a smile. It might make him forget the taste of the soup. [SCENE_BREAK] 16. FURTHER DOWN THE CORRIDOR (FEDORIN bumps into VICTORIA and the trolley. He palms the salt shaker.) FEDORIN: Oh, is this for mister Denes? VICTORIA: Yes, yes, I'm taking it to him... FEDORIN: May I look? VICTORIA: Yes. FEDORIN: Mmm. Delicious. Ah, very good. Eh, where, where's the salt? VICTORIA: What? FEDORIN: You, you forgot something. VICTORIA: Oo, no. FEDORIN: Will you run and get it, huh? VICTORIA: Yes, yes. (VICTORIA leaves the trolley and heads back to the kitchen for another salt shaker. FEDORIN nervously looks around and produces his poison.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17. SALAMANDER'S OFFICE GUARD CAPTAIN: The same girl I saw in the park, I... I suddenly remember it. SALAMANDER: You say she was talking to the boy and girl? CAPTAIN: She was on the same bench. SALAMANDER: Coincidence? CAPTAIN: She wasn't in messengers' uniform then. She is now. SALAMANDER: Yes... She certainly hasn't delivered any messages to me. CAPTAIN: Shall I alert the building? SALAMANDER: No. No, I want to know where she comes from. Let her escape but have her followed. Frighten her away. CAPTAIN: I understand. And the other two? SALAMANDER: Oh, I'll deal with them. [SCENE_BREAK] 18. CORRIDOR (FARIAH waits for VICTORIA.) FARIAH: Ah, good. VICTORIA: Sorry I've been so long. DENES: Oh, I'm looking forward to this. Haha. Thank you. GUARD CAPTAIN: Just a moment. Has that trolley been checked? GUARD: I was just going to, Sir. CAPTAIN: Don't any of you know anything? (He takes the knife.) DENES: Do you imagine I'm going to try and cut my way out of here? How do I eat without the knife? CAPTAIN: It's none of my concern. FARIAH: Try the spoon, mister Denes. DENES: And how do you cut a steak with a spoon? (The CAPTAIN cuts DENES' steak, and retains the knife.) DENES: Haha. It's a long time since I had my food cut up for me. CAPTAIN: Watch him carefully. GUARD: Sir. DENES: Thank you for your courtesy. CAPTAIN: Fariah, come with me. I want a word with you and, eh, Griffin about breaking regulations. FARIAH: (sarcastically) Yes, Sir. VICTORIA: What's the time? DENES: Six minutes to eleven. VICTORIA: May I stay with you? I'm Victoria. DENES: Yes, of course. I'd be glad of your company. If you forgive me, I'm really rather hungry. [SCENE_BREAK] 19. SALAMANDER'S OFFICE FEDORIN: There must be some other way. I... I couldn't do it, Salamander, I couldn't do it. I stood there, with this man's life in my hands, and this powder, I couldn't use it. SALAMANDER: I give you the chance to become something. Somebody. You failed to take it. (He takes the poison capsule back from FEDORIN.) FEDORIN: There must be some other way? SALAMANDER: Hahaha. Of course my friend. Don't worry. FEDORIN: What? SALAMANDER: Don't worry. You try, you fail. So what, huh? The moon doesn't fall out of the sky. Come, sit down, have a drink, huh? Cheer up, we find another way. (SALAMANDER's back is turned to FEDORIN. He empties the poison into an empty glass, fills it with wine, and pours another for himself.) FEDORIN: I really did try. SALAMANDER: Of course you did. Don't worry. Forget it, huh? I have an alternative. (He hands a glass to FEDORIN.) SALAMANDER: Your health. I hope you'll appreciate this wine, it's made for me especially in Alaska. (FEDORIN drinks. He convulses and dies.) SALAMANDER: One chance, my friend, I said one chance. (The GUARD CAPTAIN enters.) CAPTAIN: Some trouble in the kitchens, Leader. (He notices with some surprise Fedorin's body.) CAPTAIN: The new man says he's seen someone in the kitchen gardens. SALAMANDER: Very well, oh and see to that, will you? Suicide, of course, such a pity. [SCENE_BREAK] 20. KITCHEN GRIF: I can't see anything. JAMIE: Over there by the trees. Hey, he's armed, too. Get down. Look I'm going out there, you stay down here. When the rest of the guards come, send 'em out after me. GRIF: Yes, alright. (JAMIE runs outside.) GRIF: This is just about the end of a perfect day. (A shot rings out.) GRIF: Yeah, I know the food's bad, but you don't have to go that far! (Two more shots are heard. GRIF seeks cover under a bench.) GRIF: Alright, have it your own way. Why did I ever leave Woolloomooloo? [SCENE_BREAK] 21. CORRIDOR VICTORIA: (To DENES.) We're going to try and get you away. ASTRID: (To Guard.) An attempt has been made to rescue this man. Get him out to the car. (The guard turns his back on ASTRID. She fells him with a karate chop to the neck.) ASTRID: Sorry, Yannos. (DENES stands and hurries towards ASTRID. From the other end of the corridor the GUARD CAPTAIN and four guards appear.) CAPTAIN: Stop! (A shot is fired and DENES falls.) CAPTAIN: After them! (VICTORIA pushes her trolley in front of the guards, who fall over it. ASTRID escapes.) CAPTAIN: Get that girl! [SCENE_BREAK] 22. SALAMANDER'S OFFICE (VICTORIA stands flanked by guards as more guards bring JAMIE in.) SALAMANDER: Well, we all seem to be here, except the third member of your escape committee. JAMIE: I don't know what you're talking about. SALAMANDER: You were seen speaking with a girl in the park. The one who tried to escape with Denes. VICTORIA: We don't know anything about that. We don't even know her. SALAMANDER: A diversion was caused! There was no one outside the kitchen. JAMIE: Of course there was someone, and they were shooting. CAPTAIN: Three shots have been fired from this gun. It's yours, isn't it? (JAMIE stays silent.) SALAMANDER: Pretending to save my life was ingenious. But ingenuity requires a constant stream of new ideas. Yours seem to have dried up. I come to the Central Zone, an attempt is made on my life. Denes proves to be a traitor, Fedorin commits suicide because I uncover him. Do your job, Bruce. You can see they are all in this. BRUCE: All right, take them away. VICTORIA: Take your hands off me! (The guards drag JAMIE and VICTORIA away.) BRUCE: Salamander, I think it's about time you told me what's going on. One minute I see you with this lad McCrimmon, you're working together, the next minute... SALAMANDER: I thought he saved my life. BRUCE: No, I mean before that, in Kent's office. SALAMANDER: What are you talking about? BRUCE: Well I saw you there. SALAMANDER: But I haven't seen Kent in months. BRUCE: Yes, you were with Kent, the Ferrier girl, and those two youngsters. I thought it was so curious I spoke to your number two, Benik, about it. That's really the reason I came to this zone. SALAMANDER: But I tell you! I must get back to the research centre. You will come with me. BRUCE: It was you! Or... someone like you...

Jamie and Victoria become friends with Fariah, determined to discover the truth about Salamander. Astrid makes plans to rescue Denes, but not everything goes to plan.

fd_FRIENDS_03x24

fd_FRIENDS_03x24_0

Story by: Mark J. Kunerth & Pang-ni Landrum Teleplay by: Scott Silveri & Shana Goldberg-Meehan [Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang minus Monica is there.] Chandler: Do you think that there's a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as you're driving into town there's-there's like a sign, and it says "You're in Sample." (He says it like urine sample.) Monica: (entering) Hey. All: Hey! Rachel: How'd it go with Pete?! Joey: Tell us! Monica: You're not gonna believe this. Okay, so I go over... [Two guys walk over and interrupt her. They're both names you've already heard. One's Billy Crystal. Yes, that Billy Crystal from City Slickers. The other one is Robin Williams. Yes, that Robin Williams from Mrs. Doubtfire.] Billy Crystal: I'm sorry. Ex-excuse us. I'm sorry, it's a little crowded. Do you mind if we... (motions to the couch) Robin Williams: Yeah, could you scooch? Billy: Yeah, move over just a little bit. (Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey all scooch over to let them sit down.) Robin: Keep on scooching. [cut to Monica telling the gang about what happened at Pete's] Monica: So guys, listen, I go over there, and umm... (Robin interrupts her again by complaining loudly to Billy as the camera cuts to them.) Robin: Why? Why?! What's wrong with me?! Billy: What's the matter? Robin: I have a feelin'... I, my wife is sleeping with her gynaecologist. (The gang is now eaves dropping in on the conversation, and is shocked.) Billy: How do you know? Robin: Well y'know, he's got access. Billy: Yeah. Robin: Y'know it's that feeling you get, y'know? Billy: Like when you go bowling and you know you're in somebody else's shoes? Robin: That's the one. [cut back to the gang.] Phoebe: All right, so, so you went to Pete's... Ross: What happened? Monica: (Robin is speaking loudly again) I... [cut to Billy and Robin] Robin: Why is this happening to me?! I don't know, maybe it's my wound. [cut to the gang] Monica: Forget it. (they all turn and listen to Billy and Robin) Billy: So it's-it's not heeled yet? Robin: No-no, it's ooozing, oozing. (to Rachel) Could you pass me the cream? Is there any-Oh, there's the cream. Billy: Thomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me, and nobody else. Robin: What is it, Tim? Billy: It's me, I've been sleeping with your wife. Joey: (to Billy) So you're the gynaecologist? Billy: (to Joey) Hey, I'm trying to have a private conversation! Is that okay?! Robin: (starting to cry) Ooh, (to Rachel) Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? (Rachel tries to grab one, but is to slow for his tastes.) Would you--Give me this thing (grabs the napkin holder from her.) all right!! Enough! (to Billy) And you are no longer my friend! We are finished! (gets up to leave) Nada!! No more! You are a b*st*rd for doing this!! (Billy follows him) Get away from me!! Billy: Thomas, come back here! (they both leave) [cut to the gang, they're all stunned] Phoebe: So Monica, what were you gonna tell us? Monica: (pause) I have no idea. Opening Credits [Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier.] Rachel: So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon?! Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker? Phoebe: No-no-no oh, keep your name, don't take his name. Monica: He didn't ask me to marry him. All: Ohh. Phoebe: Well then definately don't take his name. Monica: He wanted to tell me he's gonna compete is some ultimate fighting competition thingy. The Guys: Pete?! Rachel: Why?! What is it? Monica: I don't know exactly. It's-it's sorta like wrestling. Phoebe: (intrigued) Oh?! Monica: Yeah, but without the costumes. Phoebe: (disappointed) Oh. Joey: And it's not fake, it's totally brutal. Chandler: Yeah, it's two guys in a ring, and the rules are: "They're are no rules." Monica: So you can like, bite, and pull people's hair and stuff? Ross: Yeah, anything goes, except ah, eye gouging and fish hooking. Monica: What's fish hooking? Ross: Huh, what's fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Ross's mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste? Joey: What? My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath. [Scene: Chandler's office, he is just finishing a meeting with his boss.] Doug: So thanks for the warm welcome. It's good to have you guys on my team, and I come to play. I hope you do too. Now, let's go out there and get 'em! Huh? And remember, there is no 'I' in team. Chandler: Yes, but there's two in martini, soo everybody back to my office. Doug: (to Chandler) You! Chuckles! What's your name? Chandler: Oh it's Bing, sir. I'm sorry , I was just ah... Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but it's also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.) [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is making reservations.] Ross: (on phone) That's right, Ryder. Wynona Ryder for six. (listens) Thank you. (hangs up) (to the gang) Yeah, we have the reservations. Rachel: Yes!! Chandler: All right buddy, way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Ross: (stunned) Dude, what are you doing? Chandler: Thank you! Today, my boss keep slapping my butt and he was acting like it was no big deal. Phoebe: Yeesh, what'd you do about it? Chandler: Well, I didn't do anything. I didn't want to be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom. Monica: I gotta tell ya, I think it's okay to be that guy. Joey: Yeah, maybe it's like y'know, that jock thing. Y'know how football players pat each other after touchdowns. (pats Ross on the butt) (Ross throws his hands out in a "What are you doing?" gesture) Rachel: Y'know I don't, I don't understand guys, I mean I-I would never congratulate Monica on a great stew by y'know, grabbin' her boob. Chandler: Yeah, I know, for a really great stew you just y'know, stick your head in between 'em. Monica: Okay, can we please go eat? Joey: Yeah. What are we getting? Monica: (to Chandler) Anything but stew. Ross: All right so, Chandler, from now on, don't give your boss a chance to get you. Y'know just ah, don't turn your back to him. Joey: Yeah, or you can teach him a lesson. Y'know? What you could do is you could rub something that really smells on your butt, all right? Then, when he goes to smack ya, his hand will smell. (thinking aloud) Now what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad? Chandler: (to Ross and Monica) What if Joey were president? (Monica, Ross, Chandler, and Joey exit.) Phoebe: Umm, hey Rach, can I ask you something? Rachel: Yeah. Phoebe: Okay, you can totally say no, but umm, would it be okay with you if I set Ross up on a date? Rachel: Oh, ah with who? Phoebe: Umm, my friend, Bonnie. She just always thought Ross was really cute, and now that you two aren't together, she asked if I could set it up, but if you're not cool with it... Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, which one is Bonnie again? Phoebe: You remember her from my birthday party two years ago. She's yeah, like, average height, medium build, bald... Rachel: Oh! (laughs) That's fine. Phoebe: Great! Okay, good for you! (as they leave she slaps Rachel on the butt) [Scene: A Gym, Pete is training for the Ultimate Fighting Championship, with his trainer, Hoshi.] Hoshi: You are iron. You are steel! Let me ask you something, how come when I call your computer support line, I have to wait an hour and a half? Pete: I told you, we're adding new operators all the time. Could we concentrate on my training? Hoshi: It's just hard when I know I have e-mail I can't get! Monica: (entering) Hi! Pete: Monica! (runs over and kisses her) Hi honey. Hoshi: All right, on the table. (Pete gets on the table for his rubdown) Monica: Hey, umm, so listen umm, my friends were telling me a little about this ah, ultimate fighting thing and it, well it sounds really dangerous. I-I don't want you to get hurt, 'cause I kinda like you. Pete: Oh, believe me, I don't want to get hurt either. I'm being smart about this. See these guys? They're the best trainers in the world, and Hoshi here used to be a paid assassin. (Hoshi yells at him in Chinese) A house painter! He used to be a house painter. Monica: Promise me you'll be careful. Pete: I promise. Monica: Hey, are we still on for tonight? Pete: Yeah. Monica: Okay, good, 'cause umm, well maybe we could have a little workout of our own... Hoshi: No! No boom-boom before big fight! Monica: How 'bout just a boom? [Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with Bonnie, as Rachel enters.] Rachel: (to Phoebe) Well that was depressing, I think I just bought a soft pretzel from one of the kids from Fame. Ready to go to the movies? Phoebe: Um-hmm. Oh wait! This is Bonnie. (who has hair by the way) Bonnie: Hi! Rachel: This is Bonnie? (to Phoebe) This is Bonnie? (to Bonnie) You're Bonnie? Bonnie: I can show you an ID if you want? Rachel: Oh no, I'm sorry, you look a lot different from the last time I-I saw you. Bonnie: Oh yeah, well I just started wearing bras again. Rachel: Oh, that must be it. Phoebe: (to Bonnie) Well I hope you have fun tonight. Bonnie: Thanks! You too. (Phoebe starts to leave, Rachel slowly follows, shocked about how good Bonnie looks now.) [cut to outside of Central Perk] Rachel: (to Phoebe) You said she was bald. Phoebe: Yeah, she was bald, she's not now. Rachel: How could you not tell me that she has hair? Phoebe: I don't know, I hardly ever say that about people. Rachel: (looks in the window) Ohh, well, this is just perfect! Phoebe: Well I'm sorry, I thought you said it was okay. Rachel: Yeah, I said what was okay when I thought she was some weird bald chick. I mean, y'know, that girl has hair got all over head! Phoebe: Well, maybe it won't work out. Maybe Ross won't like her personality. Rachel: Why, does she have a bad personality? Phoebe: Oh no, Bonnie's the best! [Scene: Chandler's office, Chandler is bent over getting some water as his boss approaches.] Doug: Bing! (Chandler stands bolt upright and turns around to face him.) Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. (He goes to slap his butt, but Chandler slides over making him miss.) Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. (Chandler goes over) Wham! (slaps him on the butt) Good one. That was a good one. (to a couple of Chandler's co-workers) Keep at it team. (goes into his office) Chandler: (to his co-workers) What is with him? Phil: With him? You're is favourite, you're his guy! Stevens: We never get smacked. Chandler: Well, that's not true, he-he smacked you once. Phil: Not on purpose, he ricocheted of you and got me. Stevens: I'm telling you, I need some smacks. I got a kid starting Dartmouth in the fall. Doug: (coming out of his office) Dartmouth? Who went to Dartmouth? Dartmouth sucks. Did you go to Dartmouth Bing? Chandler: No sir. Doug: There you go. (smacks him on the butt) [Scene: The Ultimate Fighting Championship, Ross and Monica are there watching Pete.] Ross: (walking up with this huge tub-o-popcorn and drink) Hey! Monica: God Ross, what is that? Ross: Yeah, it's the Ultimate Fighting Combo. Yeah, I saved thirty cents, plus I get to keep the cup. Yay!! Announcer: From New York City, New York! Appearing in his Ultimate Fighting Championship debut! He's known for his confrontational business style. Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing Pete Beck-errrr!! [Pete enters with his entourage all pumped up, and Ross and Monica are the only ones who stand up and cheer.] Monica: I love you, Pete!!! Announcer: And his opponent, from Hunnington Beach, California! He's a 300 pound street fighter, Tank Abbottttttt!!!! (The crowd goes wild, and Ross is the only one boo-ing him.) Monica: (going up to the ring) Pete! Pete!! That guy's pretty huge! Pete: Don't worry, Hoshi taught me how to use an opponent's strength and weight against him. Ross: Well, then that guy is in serious, serious trouble. (Pete and Monica kiss, and Monica mouths "I love you." to him.) Ross: All right! You go get him! Let's go! Referee: Here we go gentlemen, here we go! (to Tank Abbott) Are you ready? (He nods, and takes out his teeth) (to Pete) Are you ready? (Pete nods, "Yes.") Let's get it on!! (They both rush each other. Tank picks Pete up and carries him over and slams him into the fence surrounding the ring.) Pete: Uh-oh. (Tank carries Pete over to the other side of the ring, and we see both Ross and Monica wince in pain.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: The Arena, after the fight. Monica is walking up to a defeated Pete.] Monica: Hey! (she sits down next to him) It's me. Mon-i-ca! Can I just tell you how proud I am of you. Pete: It would be nice after hearing 20,000 people chant "You suck!" Monica: I mean I-I thought you were nuts at first, but you-you did it. And now you can just look back at this thing with no regrets. Pete: What, look back? Monica: Well, you're not gonna get going are you? Pete: Well let me ask you a question. Am I the Ultimate Fighting Champion? Monica: Well, no. But... Pete: Well I'm not gonna stop until I'm the Ultimate Fighting Champion. Monica: That guy stood on your neck until you passed out! Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dad's garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck. Monica: You didn't know that already? Pete: Look, I'm gonna get better. Okay? I promise you. Monica: Okay, just get a lot better. (pause) Fast. Pete: Oh, one other thing. Hoshi thinks that you being ringside may have affected my concentration. Monica: Yeah. That-that was the problem. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross and Phoebe are grilling some burgers and hot dogs.] Monica: (joining them) Hey. Ross: Hey! How long until Pete's fight? Monica: Oh, about five minutes. Right now they're interviewing his opponent. Apparently he trains by going to Iran and pulling the arms off thieves. Ross: Hot dog? Monica: Four, please. (Ross looks at her) I'm really nervous. (Ross gives her the four dogs) Thank you. (she grabs four buns, and heads back inside) Phoebe: So Ross, how umm, how did it go with Bonnie? Ross: What? Oh! I gotta tell you, I-I wasn't expecting to like her at all, I mean I actually wasn't expecting to like anyone right now, but she's really terrific. Phoebe: Ohh, that's too bad! Ross: No, I-I'm saying I liked her. Phoebe: Yeah, y'know what, there are other fish in the sea. Ross: Pheebs, I think she's great. Okay? We're going out again. Phoebe: Okay, I hear you! Are you capable of talking about any thing else? Chandler: (joining them) Hey! Which one's my turkey burger? Ross: Ahh, the one next to my foot. Sorry. Joey: (sticking his head out the window) Hey, the fight's starting! Ross: Okay, we'll be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today? Chandler: Nine times! Okay, I had to put on lotion! But, it's gonna be okay, because as of tomorrow I'm conducting an experiment, and if all goes as planned, my butt will be smack free. Joey: (sticking his head out the window) Fight's over! (Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe all stop dead in their tracks at the news.) [Scene: Chandler's office, Chandler is confronting his boss about the butt smacking thing. His boss is writing on a white board.] Chandler: Excuse me, Doug? (no reaction) Hey there sports fan!! Doug: (turning around) Bing! You got those numbers for me? Chandler: No, I ah, I didn't do them. Doug: Oh, you forgot? Chandler: No, no I just ah, didn't do them. Instead, I ah, hung out with a couple of friends and had a couple of beers so I certainly don't deserve any praise, verbal or otherwise. Doug: Well, I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home, Tapanzi Bridge never looked smaller. (laughs) That's okay, you're still my number one guy! (slaps him on the butt) Bing! Chandler: Doug!! Doug: Hmm. Chandler: I'm a little bit uncomfortable with the that way you express yourself. Doug: Oh, is it the swearing? I mean is it the constant swearing? Because I gotta tell ya, if it is, you can just... kiss my ass! Chandler: No, no. It-it's not about the swearing, it's more about ah, the way, that you ah, occasionally, concentrate, your enthusiasm on my buttock. Doug: Oh? Chandler: Oh, and don't get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment. It's just that I, I have a rather, sensitive posterior, and ah, besides, it's making all the other guys jealous. Doug: Well, say no more. Y'know it takes guts to bring this up. Bing! You're okay. Chandler: Okay. (he starts to leave) Doug: Ha! (goes to smack him on the butt, but stops, faking Chandler out) Ahhhhhhh! Chandler: Ahhhhh! (walks out, imitating shooting himself in the head) [Scene: The street outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are talking and walking.] Phoebe: Okay. Would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant, or inside his shower drain? Rachel: (seeing Ross and Bonnie inside Central Perk) Oh my God! Phoebe look, it's Ross and that girl. (We see Ross and Bonnie laughing and having a good time.) Phoebe: No! No! Look at that! (drags her away from the window) It's a line of ants! They're working as a team! Rachel: Phoebe! (goes back to the window) Phoebe: (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Let's go. Rachel: Come on Phoebe, look at that! They are not breaking up, look at them. Okay that's, you know what that is? That is a, that is a second date, that's what that is! Look at that, she just put her hand on his thigh... Phoebe: Oh no! That really is nothing, she is very sexually aggressive. Rachel: Ohh! (walking away from the window) Phoebe, this is all your fault! Now he loves her, he's gonna marry her, and this is all your fault. Phoebe: You said it was okay! Rachel: You said she was bald!! Phoebe: What?! What-what-what-what-what?!! Rachel: Phoebe, we can't, we just can't just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!! Phoebe: Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I don't get it. Aren't you the one that decided that you didn't want to be with Ross? Rachel: (quietly) Yes. Phoebe: Well isn't he your friend? Don't you want him to be happy? Rachel: Yes. Phoebe: So? Rachel: I just y'know, I didn't expect him to be this happy so soon. Ufff. Ooo-ooh! (sits down on the curb) Phoebe: (sits down next to her and hugs her) Oh no. Rachel: What? Phoebe: Oh, we killed them all. Rachel: Oh! (They both jump up and wipe off their butts.) [Scene: A locker room, Pete is in a full upper-body cast. Monica enters, sees him, and gasps. Pete tries to turn around, and winces in pain.] Pete: It's okay, it's not as bad as it looks, it's a precaution. Ah, I'm not supposed to move my spine. Monica: Please tell me you're stopping now. Pete: I'm fine! I'd fight tonight, if they'd let me. (stands up and starts swinging his arms) See this circle I'm marking off here? This is my zone of terror. Monica: You are insane! You-you gotta give this up! Pete: I can't until I'm the ultimate fighter. I will do it. I'm telling you, the day will come when children will argue over who will win a fight, me or Superman. Now, I'm not saying I could beat Superman, but y'know, kids are stupid. Monica: Sit down. All right? Please, just listen to me. You are terrible at this! Okay? You are the worst ultimate fighter ever! Ever!! Pete: Y'know I have a torn rotator cuff, a hairline fracture in my right forearm, and a severely bruised Adam's Apple, but that really hurt. Monica: Well then, y'know what? I care about you to much to watch you hurt yourself like this. So if you have to do this, then you're gonna have to do it without me. Pete: Well if you're asking me to quit, then you're asking me to be someone I'm not. I've got to do this. Monica: Then I've gotta go. Bye. (kisses him and starts to walk out) Pete: Mon-Monica? Monica: Yes? Pete: Could you leave a note? 'Cause I'm on a lot of pain killers now, and I don't know if I'll remember this tomorrow. (She leaves.) [Scene: Chandler's office, he is just finishing up a meeting with his boss and the rest of his team.] Doug: So, in conclusion, the lines all go up (points to the chart), so I'm happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. (They start to leave) Phil! Nice job. (smacks him on the butt) Stevens! Way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! (smacks him on the butt) (Chandler walks up) Bing! Good job, couldn't have done it without ya. (he shakes his hand) Chandler: Thank you, sir. Stevens: (coming back in) Oh, excuse me. I forgot my briefcase y'know, by accident. Doug: Of course, you did. Forgot something else too ya b*st*rd! (smacks him on the butt) (to Chandler) Well, what about you? You're not feeling left out or anything are ya? Chandler: No. No, not at all, that's-that's ridiculous. Doug: Everybody else got one, and you want one too. Don't you? Chandler: Ye-ye-yeah, yes I do! Doug: Now get on out of here, you! (smacks him on the butt) Closing Credits [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is watching Pete fight on TV. Monica is hiding in the kitchen, not watching.] TV Announcer: Pete Becker is circling the ring now. It looks like, he's just trying to feel him out. Oh, Bruiser is just... Chandler: Run! Run you crazy, rich freak! Rachel: Oh, I can't watch this. (turns her eyes away) Joey: Check it out, he's winning! (to Monica) Pete's winning! Monica: Really?! Joey: No-o-o!! TV Announcer: Uh-oh, Bruiser has Becker on the canvas and is going for his favourite area. All: Oh! Oh! (they all recoil in horror) Phoebe: Wait, if that's his favourite area, why is he being so mean to it? Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didn't want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete can't. All: Ohh!! (they all start pointing at the screen)

Monica tries to support Pete's UFC dreams, but after his brutal losses, she says she cannot stay if he continues, then breaks up with him after he refuses to quit. Chandler has a problem when his new boss keeps slapping his butt in a friendly but inappropriate manner. Phoebe sets Ross up on a date with Bonnie (Christine Taylor), a pretty girl who used to shave her head. This episode features a cameo skit by Billy Crystal and Robin Williams .

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INFERNO by: DON HOUGHTON 5:25pm - 5:50pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: INT. CENTRAL CONTROL (STAHLMAN growls.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2: INT. BRIGADE LEADER'S OFFICE BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Angrily.) So, we're expected to sacrifice all our lives so as the Doctor can get back to his..."other world". SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: We haven't got any lives to sacrifice. It's only a question of time. DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: What do you think, Greg? GREG SUTTON: It's the weirdest story I've ever heard, but I'm prepared to believe the Doctor. SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: You're outvoted, Brigade Leader. BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: It makes very little difference as we're all trapped in here anyway. DOCTOR: Not necessarily. I do have a plan for getting us out, but it all depends on those creatures out there. (The DOCTOR looks towards one of the doors. However, the PRIMORDS have regained their strength and one of them suddenly crashes an arm through the window of the second door as they attempt to break in and attack. As PETRA gasps out, GREG rushes forward in an attempt to push the arm back, but in turn, the DOCTOR pulls him back.) DOCTOR: No, no! Don't touch it! (The DOCTOR grabs a fire extinguisher off the wall and fires it at the PRIMORD'S arm. As the jets of CO2 hit the creature, it cries out and retreats.) DOCTOR: I don't think they'll be back for a while. They'll wait till the temperature rises. SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: How long have we got? DOCTOR: I should say all of ten minutes. GREG SUTTON: You said you had a plan just now - what is it? DOCTOR: Well, if we're going to get power to the...TARDIS console, we'll have to connect it up to the nuclear reactor. DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: That's if there's any power left. (The DOCTOR pulls out a pocket handkerchief and runs over to a wall grille. He holds up the handkerchief over the grille.) SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: What are you doing? (The DOCTOR watches the cloth waving in the draft from the grille. He puts the handkerchief away and turns to PETRA.) DOCTOR: Well, the air conditioning's still working, so power's still getting through. DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: Only the bare minimum. The reactor must still be working off robot control. DOCTOR: Can you boost the output? DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: Well, in an emergency, the master switch...automatically shuts down the reactor banks. DOCTOR: But it can be re-set? DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: It would take time! And after that I'd still have to get to the main switch room at the reactor. GREG SUTTON: The master switch is in central control! (He points at the door with the broken window.) GREG SUTTON: How do we get through that lot? DOCTOR: Well, we've still got a weapon to use against them. SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: You mean the pistol? DOCTOR: No, I don't - I mean the fire extinguisher. SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: You can't hold them off with that thing for very long. DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: If that master switch has been damaged, it...it'll be a long job resetting it. DOCTOR: Well, there are other fire extinguishers in central control. GREG SUTTON: If we can get to them. (A thought suddenly strikes him...) GREG SUTTON: Wait a minute! I'm a fool! Of course! The coolant reserve - I've rigged up the emergency hose! DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: That's it! Well, the coolant's under pressure! It's just as cold as the CO2 in the fire extinguisher! GREG SUTTON: Doctor, you've got a monster sized fire extinguisher just waiting for you in there! DOCTOR: Splendid. Well, we'll fight our way into central control using this... (He points at the fire extinguisher.) DOCTOR: ...while Mr. Sutton holds them off with his coolant, I'll repair the master switch. (Suddenly, the growling PRIMORDS appear at the broken window, one of them trying to reach in for the internal door handle. GREG runs to one side of the door and fires a blast at the arm while the DOCTOR crouches on the other side. He pulls at the door lock.) DOCTOR: Right - now! (He then pulls the door open and the PRIMORDS rush into the room but not for long as GREG starts to blast them with the spray from the extinguisher. They retreat from the office and back into central control, growling and waving their claw-like arms as they go.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3: INT. CENTRAL CONTROL (They move to one side of the doorway, enabling the trapped party inside to rush out and make for the coolant pipe. GREG passes the extinguisher to the BRIGADE LEADER and SECTION LEADER SHAW holds her pistol up at the PRIMORDS as he joins the others in pulling out the coolant pipe. However, one of the creatures is missing as, unseen by all, the transformed STAHLMAN sneaks round a corner and back into central control.) BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Hurry up, Sutton! GREG SUTTON: I'm going as fast as I can - everything's red hot! (Still unseen, STAHLMAN catches sight of the BRIGADE LEADER'S back.) BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: I can't...breathe! DOCTOR: Well, stop talking so much! SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: Look out! (She has caught sight of STAHLMAN. The BRIGADE LEADER runs round the edge of a console as STAHLMAN starts to stalk the DOCTOR and the others at the coolant reserve pipe which lies under a platform at the back of the room. He fires at the creature who spins round and growls in fury. Several more blasts cause STAHLMAN to collapse to the ground, stunned, and the BRIGADE LEADER turns the device back on BENTON and the other PRIMORDS as they once more start to advance. He fires blast after blast.) DOCTOR: (Shouts.) That's enough - don't waste it! (The BRIGADE LEADER ignores him and continues firing.) DOCTOR: That's enough, I said! (The BRIGADE LEADER finally stops. The DOCTOR runs over to the fallen creature and sees the name on the disaster suit.) DOCTOR: It's Stahlman! DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: Is he dead?! (The DOCTOR looks STAHLMAN over while keeping a careful distance.) DOCTOR: No, I think he's just paralysed. He'll probably come to again when the temperature rises. GREG SUTTON: Petra, give me a hand here! BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Sutton, get that hose going! GREG SUTTON: I can't - it's seized up! BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Well, what do we do now?! (The DOCTOR sees a maintenance man's toolbox near to STAHLMAN and grabs a wrench out of it. As he runs back to GREG and the others, STAHLMAN tries to make a move to stop him but he is still semi-paralysed. The DOCTOR hands the wrench to GREG.) DOCTOR: Right. SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: Brigade Leader! (SECTION LEADER SHAW has spotted that the PRIMORDS are getting closer again. The BRIGADE LEADER starts to fire his extinguisher at the growling creatures again but the canister soon runs out.) GREG SUTTON: ... ! (GREG manages to get the long flexible coolant pipe free and he and PETRA hold it in front of the PRIMORDS. Almost immediately, a gas of icy air starts to pump from the pipe, holding the transformed humans properly at bay against a wall.) DOCTOR: Right, off you go! SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: What about you?! DOCTOR: Don't worry about me. I'll stay and repair the master switch. DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: Greg! GREG SUTTON: I'll stay with the Doctor. BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: ... doing! GREG SUTTON: Go on - I'll cover you! (All except GREG and the DOCTOR run from the room past the PRIMORDS.) GREG SUTTON: Okay, Doctor, get on with it! (The DOCTOR runs over to the master switch while GREG stands his ground.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4: EXT. CENTRAL CONTROL (The others exit the bunker like entrance to central control. They stop in their tracks as they see the transformation outside. The air is thick with heat and the entire area is suffused with an orange glow. They try to get their breath.) BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: It is hot out here. DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: I still find it impossible to breathe. BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Well, no use hanging about. (He starts to walk off.) SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: We've got to wait for them! (The BRIGADE LEADER turns and faces them with a sneering look on his face.) BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: We must get right away from here. SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: Wait for them! BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: They'll find us. DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: (Coldly.) You go if you want to, Brigade Leader. (She and the BRIGADE LEADER stare at each other in a battle of wills.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5: INT. CENTRAL CONTROL (GREG continues to hold up the coolant pipe as the DOCTOR twists a screwdriver in part of the master switch device which rests within one of the upper consoles.) DOCTOR: The heat's made a pretty good mess of this. GREG SUTTON: It's making a mess of me too! DOCTOR: You can always join the others outside, you know, Mr. Sutton. GREG SUTTON: No, I think I'll hang around a bit longer. (BENTON and the PRIMORDS start to gingerly step forward, constantly growling.) GREG SUTTON: The natives are getting restless again. DOCTOR: Are they now? GREG SUTTON: How are you making out? DOCTOR: Slow but sure, Mr. Sutton. GREG SUTTON: Doctor...? DOCTOR: Mmm, hmm? GREG SUTTON: When you get back to that...other place... DOCTOR: If I get back. GREG SUTTON: How are you going to make sure they stop their drilling? DOCTOR: I don't know. Maybe somebody will listen to me there. Sir Keith, for instance? GREG SUTTON: But he's dead. DOCTOR: Here, perhaps, in the other world, maybe not. (The PRIMORDS continue to growl at their intended victims.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6: DIMENSION BARRIER (Back in the DOCTOR'S proper world...) [SCENE_BREAK] 7: INT. BRIGADIER'S OFFICE (...there are no explosions and no constant rumblings of impending disaster. Within the quiet confines of the BRIGADIER'S office, the man himself is on the phone...) BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Into phone.) That's absurd! There must be some trace. People don't just vanish! (He listens.) Well, keep looking. Let me know when you have any news. (BENTON enters the room. Through the doorway can be seen technician's calming going about their tasks. The SERGEANT salutes.) SERGEANT BENTON: Excuse me, sir. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Snaps.) Well, where is he?! SERGEANT BENTON: I'm sorry, sir, but he just won't come. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Sergeant, I sent you to get Professor Stahlman. SERGEANT BENTON: Well, that's just it, sir. Professor Stahlman won't come. He's says he's too busy to... (He breaks off. The BRIGADIER stares intently at him.) BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Too busy to what, sergeant? (BENTON stands to attention.) SERGEANT BENTON: He says he's too busy to waste time bandying words with a pompous military idiot, sir! (The BRIGADIER sits up.) BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Sergeant, I want to see Professor Stahlman and I want to see him now and I advise you not to come back without him. SERGEANT BENTON: Sir, if you... BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Interrupts, shouting.) A chance to use your initiative, sergeant! SERGEANT BENTON: Sir! BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Shouts.) Carry him in here if you have to, but get him! SERGEANT BENTON: Sir! (BENTON salutes, wheels round and marches out of the room. The BRIGADIER permits himself a small smile as he watches him go.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8: INT. DOCTOR'S GARAGE (LIZ is in the DOCTOR'S garage, looking forlornly down at the space previously occupied by the console. She crosses to the power unit and flicks a switch. She looks over to where the console stood and sighs when there is no change. Suddenly, she hears a noise at the door and realises that someone is trying to break in. She reaches into her handbag and takes out the sonic screwdriver. She goes over to the doors, looks through the small gap to ensure that the potential intruder is not hostile and then activates the sonic screwdriver. The doors part to reveal a sheepish GREG.) LIZ: Won't you come in, Mr. Sutton? GREG SUTTON: Hello...yes. How did you do that? LIZ: With this. (She holds up the screwdriver and uses it to close the doors.) GREG SUTTON: Well, a useful little gadget, huh? LIZ: One of the Doctor's inventions. He used to call it the door handle. GREG SUTTON: Nice bloke, the Doctor. I miss having him around the place. LIZ: So do I. (GREG starts to look round the garage. LIZ smiles.) LIZ: Is there anything I can do for you, Mr. Sutton? GREG SUTTON: Er, well, it's, erm, it's like this, I... LIZ: (Interrupts.) Yes? GREG SUTTON: Well, I found myself passing this place and... LIZ: (Interrupts.) So you thought you'd just take a look? GREG SUTTON: Well, yes, I thought I might get a look at that wonderful machine the Doctor was supposed to be working on. (LIZ smiles.) LIZ: Well, as you can see, there's nothing here. GREG SUTTON: He took it away with him, did he? LIZ: That's right. GREG SUTTON: Do you know, it's a funny thing now... LIZ: What is? GREG SUTTON: Well, I've been asking round, and...nobody actually saw him go. LIZ: (Innocently.) Didn't they? GREG SUTTON: Well, that banger he uses - it's not exactly inconspicuous, and he didn't say goodbye to anyone. LIZ: He didn't have very much time. He left in rather a hurry. GREG SUTTON: Well, since there's nothing here now, what are you still hanging around for? LIZ: I don't know, I...suppose I'm half-hoping he'll suddenly come back. GREG SUTTON: Just like that? LIZ: He's very unpredictable. GREG SUTTON: I thought, possibly, the poor old Doctor had blown himself to smithereens and you were trying to hush it up. (LIZ tries to find the right words.) LIZ: Yes, well, there was a sort of an accident. GREG SUTTON: Well, there's no sign of an explosion. LIZ: No, no, not an explosion exactly, he... (Her voice tails off.) GREG SUTTON: Well, this is a great place for disappearances, isn't it? LIZ: How do you mean? GREG SUTTON: Haven't you heard? I gather Sir Keith Gold's vanished too. [SCENE_BREAK] 9: INT. BRIGADIER'S OFFICE (SERGEANT BENTON has carried out his orders and he and PROFESSOR STAHLMAN stand before the BRIGADIER'S desk.) PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: This time, Brigadier, you've really gone too far. I'm literally dragged from my work by one of your... (He gestures a glove-covered hand at BENTON.) PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: ...ape-like minions! BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Snaps.) He was acting on my orders. PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: By what possible right can you... BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Interrupts.) Professor Stahlman, I have made innumerable attempts to secure a few moments of your valuable time. You've left me no choice. PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: (Smiles.) Oh, very well. I suppose I'd better humour you. What is it you want? BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Sir Keith Gold has disappeared. PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Has he? I thought he was in London pouring out his petty complaints to the Minister. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: He left the Minister yesterday evening. He should have been back here by last night. PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Well, an accident perhaps? BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: There's been no report of any accident on any possible route from here to London. PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Well then, I imagine he's had his complaints dismissed and has taken himself off in a fit of pique! It doesn't matter - we shall do very well without him! (The BRIGADIER quickly stands and crosses round the desk to stand before STAHLMAN.) BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: I've tried to contact the Minister but he isn't available. Therefore, in view of Sir Keith's anxieties about this... PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: (Interrupts.) Sir Keith is an old woman! BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (His voice rises.) I must formally request that you delay penetration zero until his return. PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: On no account, Brigadier. This project will be carried through on schedule - my schedule. When that drill penetrates the Earth's crust, you'll see that my theories were correct! [SCENE_BREAK] 10: DIMENSION BARRIER (Back in the world where that theory has been proved disastrously wrong...) [SCENE_BREAK] 11: INT. CENTRAL CONTROL (The DOCTOR continues his repairs as GREG continues to hold the snarling PRIMORDS at bay.) GREG SUTTON: Time's running out, Doc! (The DOCTOR pushes home the circuit into the console.) DOCTOR: That's it - I only hope it works. Shall we go, Mr. Sutton? GREG SUTTON: I thought you'd never ask. (GREG nears the rabid PRIMORDS with the coolant pipe. He drives them into a corridor which leads off the passage to the drill-head.) GREG SUTTON: Right you are, Doctor! (The DOCTOR dashes behind him and grabs two fire extinguishers from the wall.) DOCTOR: Hurry along, my dear fellah, hurry along! (GREG places the coolant pipe on the floor and to hold the PRIMORDS at bay. Grabbing one of the extinguishers from the DOCTOR, the two men run out of central control. Behind them, the transformed STAHLMAN rises to his feet and starts to follow.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12: EXT. CENTRAL CONTROL (As the BRIGADE LEADER keeps watch on the surrounding area, PETRA herself keeps an eye on the door to central control.) DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: There they are! (The DOCTOR and GREG run out into the heat-drenched muggy atmosphere and they keep pace with the other three as they run as fast as they can away from central control.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13: INT. CENTRAL CONTROL (Within the building, STAHLMAN and the other PRIMORDS move cautiously towards the exit.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14: EXT. COMPLEX (Bessie, containing the five fugitives, screeches to a halt outside the Nuclear Reactor Switch Room. The passengers jump out and through the building door which the BRIGADE LEADER opens.) [SCENE_BREAK] 15: INT. NUCLEAR REACTOR CONTROL ROOM (The BRIGADE LEADER is also first into the control room which he pushes open, fire extinguisher in hand. GREG, similarly armed, quickly follows. The room is empty.) BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: I'll check the inner corridor. (He moves to the other side of the room and the second door. The other three enter and PETRA moves over to the flat-table console.) DOCTOR: Now, Mr. Sutton, I'd better start work on the power connection. Will you be long, Dr. Williams? DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: I have to re-route the entire electrical system before I can boost the power. DOCTOR: Be as quick as you can. SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: What about the Brigade Leader and me? DOCTOR: Well, you'd better wait here. SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: Isn't there anything we can do? DOCTOR: No, I'm afraid not. (To GREG.) Now, I'll need some tools...and a length of heavy duty cable. GREG SUTTON: We can pick that up at the Rigger's stores. You'll pass it on the way to the hut. DOCTOR: Right, come on, let's get ... (His words and movement out of the room are interrupted by a gigantic explosion and the shaking of the room. The sweat-drenched survivors look round in panic.) SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: What's happening?! GREG SUTTON: It's an earthquake! DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: It's getting nearer! GREG SUTTON: Yes, we're sitting on a powder keg! DOCTOR: Right, come on! (The two men run out. The BRIGADE LEADER, on watch on the other door, calls after them.) BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Get a move on! [SCENE_BREAK] 16: EXT. COMPLEX (The DOCTOR and GREG jump into Bessie and drive off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17: EXT. CENTRAL CONTROL (A gasping, snarling PRIMORD comes out of the entrance to central control. It stands still for a moment, acclimatising to the temperature.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18: INT. NUCLEAR REACTOR CONTROL ROOM (The BRIGADE LEADER and the SECTION LEADER keep a watch on the main door as PETRA continues work on the wiring under the table.) SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: I wonder if those creatures are moving out yet? BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Quite possible. DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: It's getting warm enough for them. (The BRIGADE LEADER loses his nerve and stride round to her.) BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Impatiently.) How long is all this going to take?! DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: I don't know. BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Well, can't you hurry it up, Dr. Williams? DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: No, not if I'm to do the job properly. BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: You must! We've very little time! (PETRA is almost tearful...) DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: Brigade Leader, I'm trying very hard to carry out a complex scientific task under impossible conditions. You will not help matters by bullying me. BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: You are insolent, Dr. Williams! (PETRA rounds on him.) DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: Am I? Then it's about time that you learned that some problems just can't be solved by brute force and terror! (The BRIGADE LEADER looks furious, barely controlling his temper.) SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: Better let her get on with it, Leader. We're in her hands. BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: We've got to the power through to the hut - it's our only chance. SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: But that Doctor said he can't take us with him. BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Do you think he wants to help us? He's only concerned with his own safety. SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: I think he's telling the truth. I think he has been all along. BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: When the time comes, he will take us. (The SECTION LEADER looks at him.) BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Quietly.) He'll have no choice. [SCENE_BREAK] 19: EXT. CENTRAL CONTROL (The PRIMORD moves away from the entrance to central control. Another follows but stands still, breathing hard in an atmosphere that to it is cold and hostile.) [SCENE_BREAK] 20: INT. DOCTOR'S GARAGE (The DOCTOR drives Bessie into the garage. Behind the car is a length of cable which GREG is holding, having played it out on their short journey. The DOCTOR crosses to the console and GREG follows.) GREG SUTTON: So that's the contraption is it? DOCTOR: The console, Mr. Sutton , the console. GREG SUTTON: Well, I thought it'd be a bit more impressive than that. DOCTOR: What did you expect - some kind of space rocket with Batman at the controls?! (The DOCTOR grins.) GREG SUTTON: And this brought you all the way here, did it? DOCTOR: Er, well, it wasn't exactly a journey in the accepted sense of the word. It sort of...slipped me sideways into your dimension. GREG SUTTON: Will it take you back? DOCTOR: Theoretically, yes. GREG SUTTON: Well, is it all right? DOCTOR: I hope so. Now fix the connector to the cable, will you? GREG SUTTON: Right. (GREG fetches a toolbox from the back seat of Bessie. He holds up the length of cable and a connector device.) GREG SUTTON: I hate to tell you...but if we put the entire output of the nuclear reactor through this, it'll blow in the first few seconds. DOCTOR: I few seconds are all I need, Mr. Sutton. [SCENE_BREAK] 21: INT. NUCLEAR REACTOR CONTROL ROOM (The BRIGADE LEADER stands over PETRA as she continues her work on the circuits and the earthquake rumbles continue outside.) BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Are you making any progress? DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: I'm worried about the relay circuits. They're not functioning properly. I'm trying to rig up a bypass. SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: Could the reactor have packed up? DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: No, it's still working, but it could go at any moment. BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Sarcastically.) Yes, we're well aware of that, Dr. Williams. You must hurry! DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: As I've already told you, Brigade Leader, I'm hurrying as fast as I can. (The SECTION LEADER gives her superior a look of contempt. At that moment, they are rocked by another huge quake. A look of fear appears on the BRIGADE LEADER'S face.) SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: (Mocking.) All right, Brigade Leader, we're still here! BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Sharply.) I don't like your tone! (She stares him down.) BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Those explosions are getting closer. I was thinking about the safety of all of us. SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: (Mocking.) Oh, yes, yes, of course you were! (She smiles at him as they stagger under another quake.) BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: We've all got to get out of here! DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: You go if you want to - I shall stay here and finish the work. BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Shouts.) You carry on with your work! SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: Where is there to go? BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: That spacecraft of the Doctor works - you've seen for yourself. SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: You don't really think you can force him to take us? He's not the sort of man you can frighten. BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Once that thing's working, we can take it over. SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: We don't know how to operate it. (There is the sound of another huge explosion.) BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Dr. Williams can learn how to operate it - she's a scientist! SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: That device is beyond all our comprehension. (The BRIGADE LEADER starts to look slightly manic and unhinged.) BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Then I shall have to persuade him to operate it for us! SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: And if he tries to go by himself? BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: And leaves us to die? I shall make sure that he dies first. (There is another deafening explosion.) [SCENE_BREAK] 22: INT. DOCTOR'S GARAGE (The DOCTOR lies under the console, making adjustments.) GREG SUTTON: If we get you back, Doctor, you'd better make darn sure they stop their drilling. I'd hate to think all this was for nothing. (The DOCTOR gets to his feet.) DOCTOR: Right. You can connect up the cable now. GREG SUTTON: All right. (GREG picks up the cable and the connector.) GREG SUTTON: Cross our fingers and trust to luck. DOCTOR: We're not relying on luck, Mr. Sutton - but skill. [SCENE_BREAK] 23: INT. NUCLEAR REACTOR CONTROL ROOM SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: (To PETRA.) Finished? DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: I think so. I just have to switch on and pre-set the power controls. (She flicks a series of switches.) SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: How do we know the Doctor's ready for the power? DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: Oh, it doesn't matter. The power won't flow until he switches on at his end. BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: And then we may all go up in smoke?! DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: No, I've switched off all other circuits. SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: Good luck. (PETRA pulls the handle of the power switch. There is no response and she looks devastated. The BRIGADE LEADER jumps forward.) BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Well? What's happened? DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: Nothing. SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: There must still be a fault. BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: So, you've been wasting our time. SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: Try again. (She tries again but the result is the same.) DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: It's no use! I'll have to go through the whole wiring system all over again! [SCENE_BREAK] 24: EXT. DOCTOR'S GARAGE (GREG and the DOCTOR look out of the door of the garage. Explosions continue to be heard across the complex.) GREG SUTTON: What's happened to them? They should be back here by now. DOCTOR: You must try and be patient. GREG SUTTON: If those explosions reach the nuclear reactor...? (He looks at the DOCTOR.) DOCTOR: Yes, I know. [SCENE_BREAK] 25: INT. NUCLEAR REACTOR CONTROL ROOM (PETRA is once more making adjustments to the complex mass of wires under the console. They hear more explosions and the room shakes again.) BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: That's coming from the drill-head! SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: The shaft must be splitting open! BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Well... (The BRIGADE LEADER turns. STAHLMAN has come through the inner door and is stood behind SECTION LEADER SHAW.) BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Get out! Get out both of you! (STAHLMAN dashes the extinguisher from the SECTION LEADER'S hands. She and PETRA run for the other door. After they have run through, the BRIGADE LEADER pumps three bullets into STAHLMAN. He screeches and falls slowly to the floor.) [SCENE_BREAK] 26: EXT. COMPLEX (The BRIGADE LEADER and the two women run out of the switch room building. Not far away, BENTON and another PRIMORD stagger round the side of a building, hunting for their prey. As the three fugitives make a run for the garage area, a quake shakes them to the ground. They get up and only manage a few more yards before a second quake has the same affect. A third quake once more stops their progress. The BRIGADE LEADER helps PETRA to her feet and they run off. Close behind them are BENTON and two PRIMORDS.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27: EXT. DOCTOR'S GARAGE (GREG is still keeping an eye out of the garage door.) GREG SUTTON: No sign of them - nothing! (The DOCTOR joins him.) DOCTOR: Well, that appears to be that. I doubt whether they would have listened to me anyway. (He goes back in.) [SCENE_BREAK] 28: EXT. COMPLEX (The two RSF officers and PETRA continue to run through the complex.) [SCENE_BREAK] 29: EXT. DOCTOR'S GARAGE (GREG sees them approaching.) GREG SUTTON: They're coming! All three of them! [SCENE_BREAK] 30: EXT. DOCTOR'S GARAGE (GREG runs back into the garage.) GREG SUTTON: Well done, Petra! Are you ready, Doc? (The three run into the garage, all looking exhausted and despondent.) DOCTOR: What's the matter? DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: I'm sorry, I couldn't get the power through. I did all I could. DOCTOR: Yes, of course you did, my dear. GREG SUTTON: Well, we tried, eh Doctor? DOCTOR: One can't do more than that, Mr. Sutton. BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Sarcastically.) Oh, very philosophical, Doctor. "Thank you very much, I knew you tried!" All very cosy! DOCTOR: Hysteria won't help us, Brigade Leader. (The BRIGADE LEADER can barely control his emotions. He sounds tearful.) BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Nothing will help us! That wall's gonna blast any minute and we'll all be roasted...alive. GREG SUTTON: Look what's happening to our hard man! You were all very tough when you were backed up by a bunch of thugs! How do you like it on your own?! BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: I warn you... GREG SUTTON: You warn me?! That's a laugh! You're finished, Brigade Leader - finished! BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: I can still deal with you, Sutton! (He takes his pistol out and jabs it in GREG'S ribs.) GREG SUTTON: With that? Even if you had the guts, you'd only be doing me a favour. (The BRIGADE LEADER fires but the magazine is empty. He fires several more times to useless effect and eventually throws the gun to the floor. He shakes with anger.) GREG SUTTON: What do you do now - slap my wrists? BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: I don't need a gun to finish you! (He makes a run for GREG and grabs him round the throat. GREG pushes his arms away, punches him in the stomach and then on the face. The BRIGADE LEADER staggers back against the shelves and then makes another run at GREG who easily pushes him onto the bonnet of the DOCTOR'S car. He pulls him back up and then punches him to the ground. He jumps on top of him and aims for another punch when...) DOCTOR: (Shouts.) Listen to that! Do you want to end your lives fighting like animals?! (GREG lowers his arm. He notices that someone is missing.) GREG SUTTON: Where's Petra? SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: She's gone back to the main switch room to have another try at getting the power through. GREG SUTTON: Oh, the idiot! I'd better get after her. DOCTOR: I'll come with you. GREG SUTTON: No, Doctor! You stay here. She might just manage it, and if she does, you need to be here. (GREG runs out.) [SCENE_BREAK] 31: INT. NUCLEAR REACTOR CONTROL ROOM (Against the continuing sound of explosions, STAHLMAN stirs on the floor but then falls back. PETRA, again making adjustments at the console fails to notice. She turns back to the wires under the table and gasps with shock as the door bursts open. It is GREG.) GREG SUTTON: (Shouts.) What do you think you're doing?! DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: I'd nearly finished the rewiring when we had to run out of here. I only need a few more minutes. GREG SUTTON: It was crazy to come back in here! DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: It doesn't matter - he's dead. GREG SUTTON: Well, he may not have been. What are you trying to do - commit suicide? DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: What does it matter? We're nearly finished anyway. (She dives back beneath the console.) GREG SUTTON: All right - but get a move on! (GREG moves back to keep an eye on the door. Behind him, STAHLMAN rises to his feet and makes a dive for PETRA. GREG is equally quick to run across the room and grab the fallen fire extinguisher which he fires several times at point blank range at STAHLMAN. The transformed human falls slowly back to the ground. PETRA is already back at the wiring.) GREG SUTTON: Are you all right? DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: I think so. (She makes a final connection.) DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: That should do it. (She pulls the switch and a hum builds up. A series of four red lights flash on the front of the console.) DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: It's working! GREG SUTTON: All right, let's get back to the hut. (They run out.) [SCENE_BREAK] 32: INT. DOCTOR'S GARAGE (As power reaches the garage, the column on the console starts to rise and fall and it too starts to hum. The three people react with surprise.) SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: The power's coming through! (The DOCTOR runs to the console and starts to look over the readings and manipulate the controls.) DOCTOR: It's coming through all right, and it's gaining rapidly. SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: Hurry, Doctor! (PETRA and GREG run back in.) DOCTOR: Well done, Dr. Williams! DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: Quickly, Doctor. The power won't last for long. BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Long enough! (PETRA and the SECTION LEADER turn. The BRIGADE LEADER is holding up his pistol at the DOCTOR.) BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: You're going to take us with you, Doctor. DOCTOR: I can't - that's impossible. BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: I advise you to try. DOCTOR: I can't - I literally can't! It'd create a cosmic disaster. BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: You're not going to leave us here! DOCTOR: Do you think I want to? I'd give anything to save you all. GREG SUTTON: It's not loaded! (The BRIGADE LEADER aims his gun at the wall and fires a single shot. He has re-loaded his pistol.) SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: (Warning.) Let him go, Brigade Leader. BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: We helped him - we've every right to go. I'll give you until three, Doctor. One... DOCTOR: You'll have to shoot me, Brigade Leader. I have no intention of taking you. BRIGADE LEADER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Two...three... (He jerks as a bullet hits him and he falls. SECTION LEADER SHAW puts away her own gun.) SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: Now's your chance, Doctor! (GREG pulls the BRIGADE LEADER'S body out of the way.) GREG SUTTON: Go on, Doctor! Get on with it! [SCENE_BREAK] 33: EXT. COMPLEX (Events reach their climax as the final explosions rip through the buildings of the complex. Even BENTON and the PRIMORDS look up in surprise and fear at the apocalypse. A titanic explosion tears the ground to pieces and the few complex workers who remain either stand in stunned silence at their impending doom or run and panic. Moans of grief are heard over the rumbles of disaster and streams of lava pour from the ground. A tattered RSF soldier tries to make a run for it but is stopped in his tracks as he sees spurts of lava ahead of him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 34: INT. DOCTOR'S GARAGE SECTION LEADER ELIZABETH SHAW: (Shouts.) Go on, Doctor! Go now! DOCTOR: (Shouts.) I can't! It's still too erratic! (A red glow comes through the open door. PETRA turns to look.) DR. PETRA WILLIAMS: (Screams.) Greg! (GREG and the SECTION LEADER turn. Through the open doors, a wall of lava is pouring towards the garage, engulfing everything in its path. The survivors within watch helplessly as death flows straight at them...)

With the parallel earth doomed, the Doctor asks his friends' counterparts to help him return to his own world but the Brigade Leader only sees the TARDIS as a means of escape.

fd_The_L_Word_01x12

fd_The_L_Word_01x12_0

INT. - OCEAN - OFF THE COAST OF FLORIDA - DAY [Several dolphins are swimming around. Music plays - Frances Faye's "Frances and her Friends".] [title card: Off the coast of Florida, April 1999] [The song continues on while the dolphins swim around. The dolphins are mating. Several of them swim together, some swim in groups. They swim past one another, touching and swimming in circles.] INT. - SOUTH COAST AQUARIUM - DAY [A few Beluga whales swim around, occasionally coming to the glass to mug for the camera.] INT. - OCEAN - OFF THE COAST OF FLORIDA - DAY [The dolphins continue to swim around freely.] [main titles] INT. - THE PLANET - DAY [Shane sits at a table with Clea, Steve and Cherie's daughter. They're having a coffee.] Shane: Look. When I say I've been with people, I don't mean 20 or 30. Clea: Okay, so what? Like, hundreds, thousands? What? Shane: (hesitating) Somewhere between... 950 and 1200 since I was 14. Clea: Whoa. Well, whatever, you know, it doesn't matter. I don't care. Shane: I turned tricks in Santa Monica with my friend, Clive. And all these guys thought I was some little street fag and I could've been killed. Clea: That's so cool when you think about it, right? Shane: Clea, it's not cool. Listen, I like you. But what you want from me isn't gonna happen. [Clea looks down at the table.] Clea: Okay, you know... I know, it's because of my father, right? You guys, you have this business together - Shane: Clea, I'm involved with someone. Clea: Oh. [Shane sighs.] Clea: Are you in love with her? [Shane stares away for a moment, thinking.] Shane: Yeah. (a beat) I am. [Clea nods.] ELSEWHERE AT THE PLANET - [Kit walks past Shane and Clea, on her way to the stage area in the corner of the room. Marina is nearby, putting chairs at a table.] Kit: (to Marina) Hey, girl. [Kit goes to the stage to set the mic up. Marina flops down in a chair and sighs.] Kit: Hey, you okay? [Marina looks at her, shakes her head, and looks away. Kit goes and sits next to her.] Kit: Hey, you hang in there. She'll be back before you know it. Marina: I hope not. Kit: Oh. Okay! Well, you finally said it. Can I say what it is now? [Marina hangs her head.] Kit: You deserve to be happy. [Marina looks at her.] Kit: Your happiness is just as important as anybody else's. [Marina smiles and looks down, shaking her head.] Kit: C'mon, The Planet is yours. If you and Francesca are splitting up, she's not gonna take it away from you. Marina: (upset) Yes, she is. (a beat) At best, she wants to be bought out. (a beat) I sat up all night trying to figure out how I can come up with that much money. That's a lot of money. I worked so hard. INT. - TIM'S HOUSE - DAY [Tim and Jenny are having a meal together.] Jenny: Where's Trish? Tim: I decided to cool it for a while. Jenny: Oh, yeah? Tim: (swigs beer) Mm-hmm. Jenny: Why? Tim: I was accepted at the G.S.I.E. I'm finally, uh, getting my teaching degree. Jenny: Wow, that's... that's amazing. Tim: Yeah, so, when I switch departments, Trish and I can see one another again if... if we still want to. Jenny: Did she cry? When you told her you had to break up with her? Tim: Yeah. She did. Jenny: Yeah. [Tim picks up a piece of bread.] Tim: How's your writing? Jenny: It's good. I'm actually, um... working on a story right now. About a woman that's been mute from birth, and then she discovers that... she's able to speak the language of manatees. [Tim sips his beer and tries not to laugh.] INT. - THE PLANET - NIGHT [The "Kings of the Night" drag king show is in full swing. The cafe is packed with women of all varieties, many of them butches and in drag. The audience cheers on the performers as they dance and lip sync their way around the stage.] [A drag king is on the stage in a cowboy outfit and a fake mustache, strutting around and dancing as she sings along to the song.] Cowboy: (lip-syncing to music) "I am a man, baby, that's what I am -- I am a stranger with a master plan -- I am a man, baby, that's why I'm here -- I am a man, I am a man, I am a man, c'mon." [The crowd claps and cheers. Kit cheers and dances along to the music. Shane, Alice and Marina sit at a table in the audience, smiling and clapping along with everyone else.] Cowboy: (lip-syncing to music) "I am a man, I am a man, I am a man -- I am a man, I am a man, I am a man -- Oh, yeah!" [The cowboy rips open her shirt, exposing a tight t-shirt underneath, and writhes around on the stage. The crowd goes wild. As the song finishes, she dances off the stage. Kit comes to the stage and takes the mic.] Kit: Allright! (mic) Allright, give it up! Let's have some love, for that was Phil McCockin! [The audience claps and cheers.] Kit: (mic) Allright, now. For our final king of the night, let's give a good, hot welcome to Ivan Aycock! [Kit leaves the stage as Ivan Aycock comes on. Ivan's dressed as Willy DeVille, lead singer of Mink DeVille, in a black velvet suit, boots, a huge black pompadour and pencil-thin mustache. The music starts - "Savoir Faire" by Mink DeVille - and Ivan puts on a show by smoking a cigarette, then stomping it out when the music pauses.] Woman #1: Allright, shake it baby! Woman #2: Whoo! [The music starts. Ivan grabs the mic and struts around the stage with attitude and flair, dancing and lip syncing. The audience goes wild. Shane and Alice clap along, laughing, enjoying the show.] Ivan: (lip-syncing to music) "I was standing on the corner of the avenue -- I was watching all the girls go by." [Kit claps and dances along. Ivan sings the next part to her.] Ivan: (lip-syncing to music) "And there she was in a five and ten cent store -- Somehow I got to make her mine -- Somehow I got to make her mine." [Kit smiles and claps along to the music. Robin, the girl that Jenny met last episode at the Dinah Shore Weekend, is also in the audience, enjoying the show. Alice notices her.] Alice: (to Shane) Hey, isn't that Robin, that girl Jenny's going out with, right there? [Marina looks over and sees Robin.] Shane: Oh, yeah it is. Ivan: (lip-syncing to music) "And there she was ,she was checking my count -- Somehow I got to make her mine -- Somehow I got to make her mine" [Ivan wiggles her hips at the women at the tables by the stage. Kit stands a few feet away, laughing and clapping. Ivan once again sings to Kit.] Ivan: (lip-syncing to music) "She got style, she got taste -- She got a beautiful face! -- She got... savoir faire!" [Kit laughs and puts a hand to her chest to fan herself.] Ivan: (lip-syncing to music) "She don't need no hook -- She's got more than good looks -- She got... savoir faire!" [Ivan puts the mic down and holds her hand out to Kit. Kit takes it and they dance on stage together. Shane howls and claps. Alice giggles. Marina smiles, but her attention is on Robin who is unaware that she's being watched.] INT. - TIM'S HOUSE - DAY [Tim and Jenny are still eating.] Jenny: I have a date on Wednesday night. Tim: Anyone I know? Jenny: Um... no. Her name is Robin. And, uh, I met her at Palm Springs when I, you know, when I went with Tina and all of them. Tim: And you're telling met his... because? Jenny: Well, because, uh, you - you know that I can't afford restaurants right now - Tim: Let me get this straight. You're asking to borrow money from me, for a date. Because, I've gotta tell you - Jenny: No, I wasn't, I was asking you if it's okay if I... had her to my place. [Tim looks a little uncomfortable at the thought. Jenny stares at her plate.] Jenny: I was gonna make a salad, I suppose. Tim: Wednesday's basketball and beer night. So, I'm not gonna be home 'til late. (a beat) If you want, you can use the kitchen. Make your salad. [Jenny smiles.] INT. - THE PLANET - NIGHT [The drag king show has ended. The cafe is still packed. People are just milling around, having drinks, enjoying themselves. Marina stops by to greet some of her patrons, including the cowboy drag king.] Marina: Hey. Cowboy: Hey! [Marina heads over to Robin's table.] Marina: (to other patrons) Hello, how's everything? (to Robin) I've heard about you. [Back at their table, Alice's jaw drops. She elbows Shane.] Alice: Shane. Shane: What? Alice: Check it out. [Shane looks over in time to see Marina sitting down, talking to Robin.] Marina: (overheard) How about... Shane: sh1t, that sucks. Alice: Well, do you think... do you think she thought when I said... like when I pointed her out, but I didn't... that I... no. [Marina and Robin are laughing and having a good time. They shake hands.] Robin: (overheard) I'm Robin. Nice to meet you. [Alice looks at Shane, not believing what she's seeing.] Alice: This is so... wrong. Shane: (swigs beer) Yup. ELSEWHERE AT THE PLANET - [Kit approaches Ivan, who's sitting on a couch, chatting with some people.] Kit: Hey, Ivan! Ivan: Oh, hey, um... [Ivan puts down her beer and politely stands.] Kit: This is one of the best nights of music I have ever had! I mean - and thank you for organizing the "Kings of the Night"! It was the bomb! [Ivan smiles modestly and takes Kit's hand.] Ivan: The pleasure is all mine. [Ivan sweetly kisses Kit's hand. Kit smiles. Ivan looks down at a fellow drag king sitting on the couch.] Ivan: Why don't you make room for the lady? Drag King: Mm-hmm! [The drag king gets up and walks off.] Ivan: (to Kit) What can I get you, Kit? [Kit and Ivan sit down on the couch.] Kit: Um... oh, nothing, I'm fine. Ivan: Yeah, but what's your drink? I mean, a Pink Lady, Cajun Martini, maybe a simple whiskey soda? Kit: (smiling) I'm keeping dry these days. Ivan: Well, that's a fine thing for a beautiful lady. [Kit smiles a little, unsure of Ivan's directness. Ivan switches gears.] Ivan: You in the program? Kit: Yeah. I am. Ivan: Eleven years next month. Kit: Congratulations. I'm, uh... (thinking) 37 days. Ivan: Thirty-seven days... is a lifetime. [Ivan smiles at Kit. Kit looks a little unsure again. Ivan speaks sincerely.] Ivan: Look, if you ever need anyone to talk to... or for any other reason... give me a call. Okay? Kit: Thanks. INTERSTITIAL - SCENES OF L.A. [The suburbs, pretty houses with pretty green lawns.] INT. - BETTE & TINA'S HOUSE - DAY [Bette wanders down the hall in her bathrobe. She walks into the kitchen, where Tina's getting ready to leave. Tina's drinking coffee and getting some things together for her briefcase.] Bette: Whoa. You're not leaving already, are you? Tina: Oscar and I are due in court at 8:15. Arthur Croft agreed to represent us pro bono against Clay Patterson. Bette: How - did you - did you land Arthur Croft? [Tina puts some papers into her briefcase, on the kitchen table.] Tina: Uh-huh. Remember? I met him when Warner's got sued over that script I developed? Bette: Wow, Tina. Oscar must... be beside himself. Tina: Yeah, and then, after we finish in court, I have a meeting with these junior high students from South Central. [Tina closes her briefcase and smiles at Bette.] Tina: We're starting an organic food co-op at their school. [Bette smiles, though a little taken aback by the sudden role-reversal. She's always the one running out the door to work, instead of Tina.] Tina: Isn't that cool? Bette: (chuckling) Yeah, that's... [Tina walks over and smooches Bette.] Bette: ... that's great. [Tina grabs her purse and briefcase and is about to leave through the back door.] Bette: Um, oh, wait - did the, uh... my Jill Sanders suit... do you know - do you have any idea? Tina: Um... I think it's at the dry cleaners. Um... I dropped it off last week. Bette: Oh, great, then you could pick it up today, then? Tina: Uh-uh. I, uh... can you get James to do it? I'm having a really busy week. [Bette smiles.] Tina: Okay? Bye. [Tina leaves. Bette's smile fades.] INT. - DANA'S HOUSE - BEDROOM - DAY [Mr. Piddles sits on the foot of the bed, staring at Tonya, who's under the covers staring right back at him. Dana's getting ready nearby.] Dana: Okay, so, he gets his, uh, Prednisone at 11 and 2 o'clock, and if for some reason I'm not home by 5 o'clock, just go ahead and give him his liquid thyroid medicine. It comes in three flavors: chicken, tuna and sardine. So, you know, just... see what he's in the mood for. [Tonya doesn't look too happy. Dana leans over to kiss her goodbye.] Dana: Okay. Bye, baby. Tonya: Bye. [They kiss.] Dana: Thank you. [Tonya pulls her back for another. They kiss again. Dana goes over to kiss Mr. Piddles.] Dana: (silly voice) Bye, sweety Piddly-pie! (scratches Piddles ears) Ton-Ton's gonna take extra special care of you! (scratches Piddles chin) My handsome, loverboy puss-pot! (kisses Piddles) Oh yes, oh yes. (kisses Piddles) Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah! Mmmmwah! [Dana kisses Mr. Piddles on the head a few times. Mr. Piddles begins to purr. Tonya watches them with an obvious distaste. Dana kisses Piddles on the head again.] Dana: Mwah! Aww, yes. (kisses Piddles) Okay. [Dana stands up and grabs her duffle bag and puts it on her shoulder.] Tonya: Bye. Dana: Bye. [Dana leaves. As soon as the front door is heard closing, Tonya kicks Mr. Piddles off the bed.] Mr. Piddles: Rrowrr! Meow! Mrowr? [Tonya picks up the phone and dials a number.] Tonya: (phone) Deb. It's Tonya. You will never believe where I am right now. Mr. Piddles: Mrowr? INT. - THE C.A.C. - BETTE'S OFFICE - DAY [Bette is on the phone, pacing her office.] Bette: We're ready to install the main galleries, but I want you to keep the Anish Kapur crated until our technician arrives. (listening) Yeah. [James enters.] James: Bette. Bette: (phone) Hold on. James: I think you should come down and see what's going on out here. Bette: (sighs) (phone) I'll call you back. [Bette hangs up the phone and puts it down, then walks out of her office.] Bette: What? James: We have protestors setting up outside. INT. - THE C.A.C. - DAY [James and Bette walk into the main hall of the museum, which is all glass, and through the windows they see dozens of protestors gathered just outside. The protestors carry signs that say such things as, "Offensive art is just offensive," "Stand for decency NOT depravity," and "The CAC a receptacle for trash." Many more protestors are just arriving and getting set up.] [Bette stands at a window and furrows her brow at the activity for a few seconds, then turns around and heads back to her office.] EXT. - THE C.A.C. - DAY [A cop car pulls up and parks on the curb. Across the street, a TV van pulls up and parks. Candace, carrying a coffee and the C.A.C. blueprints, walks up and stops when she sees all the commotion. She sighs and heads up the steps to the building so she can go to work. A few feet from the entry, the ringleader - a guy who's been using a bullhorn to talk to the crowd - steps in her way.] Bullhorn Man: Ma'am, you don't want to go in there. Candace: Yes, I do. Bullhorn Man: Are you aware that this so-called museum is run by homosexual pornographers? [Candace rolls her eyes and tries to step past him. He blocks her.] Bullhorn Man: Are you a homosexual pornographer? Candace: Get outta my face, slimeball. [Candace walks past him.] Bullhorn Man: The C.A.C. should be shut down! And the people inside locked away! Protestors: Yeah! That's right! INT. - THE C.A.C. - DAY [Bette enters her office. Candace is spreading the blueprints over Bette's desk.] Bette: Have you seen it out there? Candace: Yeah. One of them tried to block me from coming in the museum. [Bette gazes at Candace for a few seconds almost sadly.] Candace: Are you okay? Bette: Yeah - I'm fine. I have movers due with a shipment of artwork in 40 minutes, I have 5 artists arriving to do installation work, and I have a bunch of lunatics out in the courtyard who apparently want to see me tarred and feathered. (a beat) But the main gallery looks great. Candace: Well, we're nearly finished. Here, let me show you some drawings of the shoji screens. [Candace leans over the blueprints and picks up a pencil. Bette comes to her side to see, and places a hand on the desk. Candace puts her hand on the desk too and they unintentionally touch. It doesn't seem to bother Candace, but it does Bette.] Candace: Okay. So. [Bette looks at their hands, then at Candace.] Bette: f*ck. [Candace moves her hand.] Candace: I'm sorry, I - Bette: What happened the other night cannot happen again, do you understand? [Candace looks a little hurt, but tries to cover up with getting back to the blueprints.] Candace: Um... okay, (pointing with pencil) this is not a bearing wall. So I figured we'd just erect the scaffolding here and... [Candace looks at Bette. Bette leans very close. Candace begins to lean in as well. They're about to kiss when James walks in.] James: Bette. [Bette and Candace stand up.] James: They have almost a hundred people out there. They're threatening to not let the artwork in the museum. Bette: Jesus! (tossing up hand) What are we supposed to do? James: We should call the police. Candace: The police are here, but they're not gonna help you. These protestors have a permit. Bette: (to James) What about the alley? Can we take the trucks out back and load in from there? James: No, no, no, they're blocking that, too. Bette: This is crazy! I don't - I don't have time to reschedule and I'm not gonna back down from these lunatics. Candace: (to Bette) Have you ever done clinic defense? [Bette turns to Candace.] Candace: Abortion clinics? Bette: I - no, I haven't. I've just written checks. Candace: Well, when we used to do clinic defense, there'd be, I don't know, 40, 50, 60 of them to every 20 of us, and so we figured the only way to get a client past them... well, we would link arms. [Candace bends her arms at the elbows to demonstrate.] Candace: And form a column to the street and the client would get out of her car, she'd be immediately inside of our column and we'd get her safely inside. Bette: Like a human shield. Candace: Yeah. Bette: And how many people does it take to do something like that? Candace: As many as possible. Bette: (turns back to James) Allright, James, I want you to ask everyone in the office. I think we have about 25 people. Okay? And let's get on the phone. I want you to call all the artists that are in town, I want you to call your friends, we need bodies. James: Okay. [James leaves.] INT. - THE PLANET - DAY [Robin and Marina are having lunch. A waitress stands by their table, showing them a bottle of wine.] Marina: (to Robin) Wine? Robin: (smiling) I have to get back to work. I have a class of 10-year-olds aspiring to be tightrope walkers. Marina: (waves hand) Ah, don't worry, we'll have it tonight. (to waitress) Grazie. (Thank you.) [The waitress leaves.] Robin: Oh, actually... (chuckles) I can't do that, either. I, um... I already have plans. Marina: What kind of plans? [Robin looks at Marina as if that may be none of her business.] Marina: Oh, is that a secret? Oh... (shakes head) Robin: (smiling) No, it's not a secret... Marina: No, you should never tell a secret. Never. So tell me something else. Do you like to read? Robin: Mm, I guess, when I... when I have time. I'm not exactly a... big reader. Marina: Have you ever read anything by, um, Anne Carson? Robin: Um... I don't think so. Does... does she write novels, or... Marina: Okay, I'm gonna give you a book. And you can take it with you when you run away with the circus. [Robin smiles.] Marina: (smiling) It's called, um, "Eros the Bittersweet." It's very romantic. EXT. - THE C.A.C. - DAY [The crowd of protestors is getting larger and they continue to yell and parade around with signs. A truck parked on the curb nearby reads "Addams Fine Art Movers" on the back. A couple of movers have a tall crate on a dolly and are about to try to move it through the rabble.] [Bette comes out of the C.A.C., followed by Candace and James, the artist Isabella Pernao and several others. They walk quickly through the protestors and toward the movers. A reporter and a cameraman follow Bette.] Reporter #1: Miss Porter. With all the controversy, is the C.A.C. still going ahead with the "Provocations" show? Bette: Without the slightest hesitation. Reporter #1: I noticed Fae Buckley isn't here, do you know where she is? Bette: No idea. Reporter #1: Did you ruin her by exposing her family tragedy? Did you go too far? Bette: I have to go, excuse me! [Bette's group has arrived at the movers and the crate. Bette links arms with Candace and James and calls out instructions to the others.] Bette: Link arms. Move around to the left and link arms. [The crate is now safe inside the circle. Everyone begins to inch through the unruly crowd, back toward the main door of the C.A.C.] Bette: (to protestors) You are obstructing commerce! If you do not let these movers through, you'll be violating the law! [The protestors begin to chant. The man that called Candace a homosexual pornographer earlier yells into his bullhorn with the others.] Protestors: (chanting) Shut them down! Tell them no! Filth as art has got to go! Shut them down! Tell them no! Filth as art has got to go! [Cops stand on the sidewalk, watching the demonstration closely. Shane and Alice arrive and promptly run into the middle of the fray and link arms with Bette and James.] Alice: My god, you guys, it's a full-scale war! Bette: Thank you so much for coming! Shane: Bette! Dana's coming, too. Where's Tina? [The group continues to move toward the door.] Bette: I don't know, when I left word for her. She and Oscar were supposed to be in court earlier this morning, I can't get through. [A helicopter hovers overhead, possibly a news channel camera or the police.] Protestors: (chanting) ... Filth as art has got to go! Shut them down! Tell them no! Filth as art has got to go! INT. - THE PLANET - DAY [Marina and Robin are done with lunch. Marina is seeing Robin to the door. Ivan - out of drag - sits at a table nearby. Marina smiles at her as they pass.] Marina: Hey! [Ivan smiles and waves.] Marina: (to Robin) So, come by after work. I'll have the book for you. Robin: Oh. You know what, I'll just come by tomorrow. Marina: No, I won't keep you long. Just come by later. Robin: (laughing) Okay, fine. You're... very persistent. Marina: Ah. (leans close) Persistance est la m re de tout le succ s. (Persistence is the mother of all success.) I'll see you later. [Robin leaves, a little unsure of what to make of Marina. Kit shows up.] Marina: Hey. Kit: Hey, Marina. [Ivan spots Kit and waves for her. Kit sees Ivan, but doesn't recognize her at all out of drag. She kind of waves back.] Kit: Um, Marina. Remember when we talked about kind of a plan? Well, we are gonna find you some partners, and we're gonna raise some money, and you are gonna buy Francesca out. Marina: (laughing) Well, what about you? You could be my partner. Kit: (sighs) Oh, I... I'm not... when maybe some of my royalties come in. You know I haven't seen one cent from that Slim Daddy song. Marina: What about Bette? She could lend you the money. Kit: (shaking head) Aw, uh-uh, mmm. Marina: C'mon, you're good for it. Kit: (sighs) I don't know. I'm on my way over there now, as soon as Ivan gets here. Marina: Ivan. (pointing) Ivan is right over there. [Ivan is standing by her table, smiling and waving at Kit. Kit looks a little shocked, but pretends to know.] Kit: Oh! Yeah... uh... right, um... hey! [Ivan approaches Kit.] Kit: Hey, Ivan, how you doin'? Ivan: (smiling) Ah, always good. Kit: Okay. [Marina looks at Ivan and smiles at Kit.] Ivan: Ah, should we - better get going, I guess. Kit: Uh, yeah, let's go. (to Marina) Uh, hey, girl, I'll catch you later, okay? Marina: Yeah, have a great time. Don't - don't forget to ask Bette. [Kit and Ivan leave together.] EXT. - THE C.A.C. - DAY [The crowd of protestors is tightening up around the small ground defending the art. Dana is now in the group, having arrived and linked arms with Alice and Bette. They all struggle to inch forward.] Dana: Where's Tina? Bullhorn Man: Which godless piece of filth is that? Bette: (to protestor) Get off! Protestor #1: Which relic of Satan? Protestor #2: Which affront to decency? [Bette's group is wavering under the strain of the protestors. The protestors have stopped the group's advancement toward the door and are now pushing against them, trying to get them to break the chain.] Bette: (to protestor) Back off, you're getting too close. [Candace unlinks her arms with Bette and turns around to the protestors behind her. They're all men twice as big as she is, but that doesn't matter to Candace.] Candace: You heard her! She said... back off! [Candace shoves the protestor behind her as hard as she can. The other protestors keep him from falling, but he grabs Bette and pulls her back in an effort to get at Candace. Another one of the protestors shoves Candace aside and runs for the crate. Bette tries to reach for him.] Bette: Don't let him touch it! [In a split second, a swarm of protestors descend upon the crate, grabbing and nearly crushing Bette in the process. Candace dives into the fray and tries to pull them off of Bette.] Bette: Get off of me! [Police sirens wail in the background. The protest is turning into an all-out brawl, and our gang is stuck right in the middle of it. The cops that were monitoring the protest from afar are now coming over to quell the violence.] [Isabella Pernao grabs a female protestor and throws her off the crate. A male protestor sees her.] Bullhorn Man: That's the one. Get her! [A group charges toward Isabella, but the cops arrive just in time. A cop grabs one of the protestors by the shirt collars and backs him up.] Protestor #3: (to cop) She made a video of herself being sodomized by Jesus Christ! [The cop squints at Isabella.] Protestor #3: She was on her knees. Naked. With Christ committing unspeakable acts on her. [The police paddy wagon pulls up and parks on the curb. Some of the protestors are starting to leave to avoid arrest. Ivan and Kit pull up in Ivan's car.] [The cop puts Isabella on the ground and handcuffs her. He hauls her over to the paddy wagon while Protestor #3 looks on.] [Ivan opens Kit's door and helps her out. Kit stares in shock at the protest and the officers out arresting people.] Kit: Holy sh1t! [Kit starts to dash for the crowd, but Ivan grabs her arm and holds her back.] Ivan: Wait! No! Kit: I gotta help her! Ivan: Hey! You have a DUI! If you go and get yourself arrested, it'll be years before you get a license again, allright? [More cop cars are pulling up. Ivan holds Kit back from joining into the fray. People are being arrested left and right. Ivan and Kit spot Bette in the crowd.] Ivan: That's your sister right there, isn't it? [A cop marches Candace, in handcuffs, away from the protest. Another cop has Bette in handcuffs and quickly marches her away as well. The reporter and cameraman from earlier try to interview her as she's being hauled off.] Reporter #1: Bette Porter. Do you think you're going to make a First Amendment defense? Ivan: (to Kit) Huh? Kit: Yeah. [A swarm of reporters are descending upon Bette now, all trying to get footage of Bette in handcuffs, or interview her. Bette keeps her head down.] Ivan: C'mon. She needs you on the outside. You can't do anything for her. [The cops are now walking Bette toward the paddy wagon.] Reporter #2: Bette! Bette, is this your first arrest? How will you plead? Ivan: C'mon. It's okay. Let's go. [Ivan walks Kit back to the car. Kit watches helplessly as her baby sister is being taken away.] Kit: But... [Ivan opens the car door for Kit to get in.] INT. - POLICE PADDY WAGON - DAY [Several protestors sit on one side of the paddy wagon. Isabella, Shane, Alice and Candace sit on the other. Everybody looks really unhappy. A cop puts Dana in the wagon, next to Candace.] Dana: Ow! Oh, god, I'm gonna die if my parents find out about this! Alice: Well, look at the upside: now, being a dyke won't be a big deal. [A cop puts Bette in the wagon.] Bette: This is absurd! You'll be hearing from my law - [Bette lands in Candace's lap. Alice scoots over and Bette slides down onto the seat next to Candace. Bette and Candace get extremely close to a kiss. They take a deep breath and pull themselves away. Bette sighs.] [Alice eyes one of the protestors, a blonde woman, sitting across from her. She whistles and wiggles her eyebrows at her.] Alice: Hey good-lookin'. [The woman looks a little frightened as she glances up at Alice. Alice eyes her and clamps her teeth together, suggestively biting at the air. The woman quickly looks away, uncomfortable. The bullhorn man, who's sitting next to her, looks worriedly between her and Alice. The cops shut the paddy wagon doors and head for the police station.] EXT. - POLICE STATION - DAY [A cop opens the paddy wagon doors so the group can get out. The blonde woman, the bullhorn man, and Dana look pretty scared.] INT. - POLICE STATION - DAY [A cop stands at a desk protected by a metal grille as the new inmates line up to give over their personal items. Another cop stands by them and gives them orders.] Cop #1: Remove your shoes... [The blonde woman hands over her purse.] Cop #1: ... and any hard objects including combs, hairpins, all watches... [Shane steps up to the desk and takes off her ring and watch. She goes to take her cell phone out of her jacket pocket.] Cop #1: ... and... cell phones. [Shane holds on to her cell phone and backs away from the cop.] Alice: Oh, boy. No, that's like taking our life support away, you can't do that. [The cop holds out her hand.] Dana: No, just, let it go, Shane. It's okay. [Shane looks at Dana, then finally gives the cell phone to the cop.] Shane: Take the f*ckin' phone. (to cop behind grille) Don't lose that. [Alice steps up and eyeballs the cop as she sets down her car keys and her watch.] Cop #1: I'll also need all your jewelry... [Dana steps up and gingerly sets down her watch, still looking a bit scared. Bette steps up, taking off her earrings.] Cop #1: And your eyeglasses. [Bette looks at the cop.] EXT. - SOUTH COAST AQUARIUM - DAY [Lots of greenery around. A family walks inside.] INT. - SOUTH COAST AQUARIUM - DAY [Jenny's sitting in the observation area, writing and watching the Beluga whales swimming around in the tank. The whales, who are curious, swim close to her and make their characteristic clicking noises and high-pitched whale song.] [As Jenny speaks, we see the whales swimming around, making noises. Jenny's words fade on to and off of the screen. Her voice echoes and overlaps itself in a sort of dreamy way.] Jenny: (voice over) The whale swam close to her, making odd click like sounds. Until this moment, her imagination had been enough. She understood it had to be the core of desire. INT. - POLICE STATION - DAY [The gang, now booked, are lined up at a bank of pay phones against a wall, each making their one phone call. The camera goes down the row so that we hear what each one is saying.] Candace: (phone) Yolanda! Hey, it's Candace. Listen, I'm in a little bit of trouble here. Bette: (phone) f*ck, Tina, I know you're real busy saving the world and everything, but I need you to start answering your phone. Shane: (phone) Hey, Cherie, it's me. Look, I'm gonna be a little late for our date tonight. Dana: (phone) Is he getting his medicine, is he listless? Has he had a poo? [Alice is listening to her answering machine messages.] Lenore: (answering machine) Alice, it's mom. Can you drop my head shots by my agent? [Alice abruptly hangs the phone up.] Bette: (voice over) Why are we being held separately? INT. - JAIL - HALLWAY - DAY [Cop #1 escorts Bette and Candace down a hall, to an empty cell. Bette and Candace are now wearing plain white jail uniforms that say "INMATE" on the back. The cop is also wearing Bette's sunglasses.] Cop #1: Because you're high risk. (opens cell) Dangerous ring leaders. [Bette follows Candace into the cell. The officer closes the door and locks it before heading back down the hall. A buzzer sounds, signifying that the cop has been let through another locked door.] INT. - JAIL - BETTE & CANDACE'S CELL - DAY [The cell is tiny, big enough for a small bed and a sink and a window. They're cramped, to say the least, but they're completely alone with no cops or prisoners nearby. Candace sits down on one end of the bed and looks up at Bette. They stare at each other for several seconds.] Candace: Aren't you gonna sit down? [Bette seems quietly anxious.] Bette: (shaking head) (quietly) I can't. Candace: Why? Bette: (quietly) I can't sit near you. [Candace looks at her, and nods.] Candace: What if... you stay on one side of the cot? I'll stay on the other. We'll draw an imaginary line down the middle. Bette: (quietly) I don't think that's gonna work for me. [Candace nods. They look at each other for a moment. Bette slowly walks over to Candace and stands in front of her. She looks down at her, desire written plainly on her face.] Bette: (quietly) I am in so much trouble. [Candace looks up at her. The moment is tense. Candace quickly scoots back to the wall. Bette looks discouraged for a moment.] Candace: Do you wanna play an alphabet game? [Bette smiles.] [SCENE_BREAK] INT. - SOUTH COAST AQUARIUM - DAY [Jenny continues to sit alone, watching the Beluga whales. Unspoken words fade onto the screen:] Until this moment her imagination had been enough She understood it had to be the core of desire [The words fade out and are replaced by more:] and had no need to dilute it with the feeble chattering of inarticulate lovers Jenny: (to nobody) I still want it to be a manatee. [A young man, Gene Feinberg, sits down on the bench next to her and starts eating some grapes.] Gene: (to whale) Keela. Hey. [The whale swims up to him and presses against the glass. Gene looks over at Jenny.] Gene: Have you ever met a manatee? Jenny: No... [Gene puts his hand to the glass. The whale swims up and opens its mouth curiously.] Gene: They have the craziest mating behavior of any sea mammal. [The whale goes to Jenny and presses against the glass. Jenny smiles.] Gene: She likes you. Jenny: Have you ever met a manatee? Gene: Yeah, there was a small herd of them beached off the coast of Boca Raton last month, and I was one of the biologists called in to protect them. [The whale continues to swim about, pressing against the glass. Jenny and Gene watch. Gene extends his hand to Jenny.] Gene: I'm Gene Feinberg. Jenny: (shaking hand) Jenny Schecter. Gene: Hey. Jenny: What happened to them, why were they beached? Gene: Well, the, um... the one female was running away from the 5 males. She stays in heat for a month and the - the bulls spend the entire time smashing into each other, trying to have s*x with her then they just kinda ditch her once she's pregnant. Jenny: Gosh, that sounds like a lot of humans. Gene: Please tell me that's not your experience with men. Jenny: No. Not exclusively. Gene: Well, that's good. Jenny: Do you work here? Gene: Mm-hmm. I'm Assistant Curator of Fish and Aquarium Dive Coordinator. And... you... it appears, work at a grocery store? Jenny: Oh, god. Can you tell that by looking at me? Gene: Uh, well, I'm familiar with the red and white checked, uh... blouse thing. [Jenny looks down at herself, embarrassed. She's just remembered she's in her work uniform.] Jenny: Oh, my god. Gene: Laurelwood Farms, right? Jenny: Yes. I didn't... know that fish had curators. Gene: I didn't know that nice Jewish girls work in grocery stores. Is that your life's calling, your... Jenny: No. It's not my life's calling. I'm... I'm a fiction writer. Gene: (nodding) Cool. Jenny: How do you know that I'm a nice Jewish girl? Gene: Are you implying that you're not nice? [The whale swims up to Gene and hovers in front of him, making clicking sounds.] Gene: (to whale) (shaking finger) Too many grapes, Keela. [Gene stands up. He seems a tad nervous.] Gene: Um. (turns to Jenny) If you wanted to have dinner with me, I could tell you everything I know about manatees. [Jenny tears off a piece of paper from her notebook. She writes her phone number on it and folds it into a tiny ball and gives it to Gene.] Gene: Thanks. Jenny: (whispering) Okay. Gene: Um. Bye. Jenny: Bye. INT. - THE PLANET - MARINA'S OFFICE - DAY [Marina is giving Robin a copy of Anne Carson's book, "Eros the Bittersweet."] Robin: Thank you. Marina: You're welcome. Robin: (reading) "Eros the Bittersweet." Oh, okay, I'll read it. Marina: Wait, there is a passage that is so beautiful. [Marina takes the book and starts to flip through the pages.] Robin: You know what, Marina, I - I really... I gotta go. I'm sorry. Marina: (handing book back) Of course. Robin: Thanks. [Marina walks around to Robin's other side, close to her.] Marina: The Greek word, eros, denotes want, lack. The desire for that which is missing. (stepping closer) The lover wants what it does not have. [Robin looks away, a bit uncomfortable by Marina's closeness.] Marina: It is by definition impossible for him to have what he wants. If... as soon as it is had... [Robin looks at Marina.] Marina: ... it is no longer wanted. INT. - JAIL - RECEPTION AREA - DAY [Closeup on a typewriter, typing out "FAIRBANKS, DANA" a form. The cop typing is typing extremely slowly, hitting one key every few seconds. The clock on the wall reads 6:47. Ivan and Kit are in the reception area. Ivan is sitting; Kit is pacing anxiously. Kit goes up to the officer who's typing.] Kit: (sighs) Excuse me? How much longer is this gonna be? [The typing cop just looks at her, then goes back to typing. Kit turns to Ivan, exasperated and tosses up her hands. Kit turns back to the typing officer.] Kit: You know - you know, this is really ridiculous. Now, I have been here, I don't know how long trying to just - do you have any information - [Ivan gets up and pulls Kit aside.] Ivan: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Sit tight. Okay? I'm gonna go hustle up a couple of bail bonds, just in case nobody shows up with cash. [Kit sighs, mostly from frustration. Ivan touches her chin to get her attention.] Ivan: (smiling) And. I'll bring you some Reese's Cups. [Kit looks bewildered. Ivan heads for the door.] Kit: How you know that's what I was jonesing for? [Ivan turns back and smiles before heading out. Ivan passes Franklin, Bette's boss, who's on the way in. The two look up and down each other. Franklin heads in to speak with the typing officer.] Franklin: Officer? I'm Franklin Phillips, Chairman of the Board of the California Arts Center, here to post bail for Bette Porter. [Kit looks at Franklin. Upon hearing his name, she recognizes him.] Kit: Thank god! Where you been, man? [Kit shakes her head and tosses up her hands. Franklin turns around, confused. He doesn't know who Kit is.] Franklin: I - I've been at a cocktail party for the governor. Who are you? Kit: Kit Porter, Bette's sister. Franklin: Ah. Well, nice to meet you. [Franklin looks Kit up and down before turning back to the officer. Kit tosses up her hands again.] Franklin: Can we, uh, hurry this up, please? Typing Cop: We've got a lot of paperwork to process. You might wanna have a seat. [Franklin walks a few steps to a row of chairs.] Franklin: Miss Porter? [Kit sighs and takes a seat. He sits next to her. The officer goes back to typing.] INT. - JAIL - BETTE & CANDACE'S CELL - DAY [Bette and Candace are sitting on opposite ends of the bed, as far apart as possible. They stare anywhere but at each other.] Bette: Go ahead, do the W's. Candace: West Virginia. Washington. Wisconsin. Bette: Wyoming. [Candace thinks a moment.] Candace: I think that's it. [Bette furrows her brow.] Bette: There are no "X", "Y"'s or "Z"'s. [Bette and Candace look at each other, then look away. They each sigh. tension between them is palpable. Both of them seem a little flustered and turned on, despite the attempt to think about something else.] [Slowly, still looking away from each other, they each let a hand wander away. Their hands meet in the center of the bed. Bette gulps and squints her eyes shut, barely able to contain her arousal.] Bette: Let's do math. What do you know? Candace: Two plus two equals four. Bette: The square of the hypotenuse side of a right triangle is equal to the sum of the squares on the other two sides. [The continue to hold hands, but footsteps are heard approaching and suddenly Bette pulls her hand away.] Bette: (to Cop #1) Hey! [Candace opens her eyes, shaken out of her euphoria.] Bette: (to Cop #1) Hey! [Bette gets up and goes to the bars. Cop #1 has just strolled by, still wearing Bette's sunglasses.] Bette: (to Cop #1) I'm talking to you! [Cop #1 chuckles at Bette and walks off. Bette leans against the wall and looks at Candace.] INT. - THE GARAGE - DAY [Robin and Jenny are having their date. They're sitting on the floor, having a makeshift picnic together. Easy music plays in the background.] Jenny: Um, do you remember the first time that you were ever really, really embarrassed by one of your parents? Robin: Absolutely. It was before my dad got transferred to Texas. We were living in Fort Lauderdale. Thirteen... Jenny: Oh, my god. Robin: ... years old. Junior high school. What? Jenny: I... when I was 13, I... wait, wait, wait. I just had a total flashback. Robin: (smiling) I have to know more about that, please. Jenny: No, no, no, I wanna hear about your story. Robin: (smiling) Okay, fine. Jenny: Okay. Robin: So, my mom's dropping me off at this party. First time I get invited to a cool kid's party. And, um, she insists on walking me in. Which is already... totally humiliating. And then, she's kissing me goodbye, on the lips, and as she's walking away, she turns back and she calls out, she says, "Honey? You remember, the more you hang on to it, the more they want it, so don't let any of the boys get funny with you." Oh, it was horrible. Jenny: That's awful. Robin: (chuckling) Turns out I wasn't even interested in boys. Jenny: Did you know that you were gay? [Robin thinks a moment.] Robin: No, I just knew I wasn't into boys. I didn't... realize I was attracted to girls until the first... circus tour I did. (smiling) I fell madly in love that year. Oh, god. Jenny: With the bearded lady. Robin: (laughing) No. Jenny: (laughing) Yes. Robin: (smiling) No, it wasn't. [Robin and Jenny giggle and smile at each other.] INT. - JAIL - BETTE & CANDACE'S CELL - DAY [Bette and Candace are sitting on opposite ends of the bed again, in total silence. They both look extremely uncomfortable. The tension between them is thick. Bette sighs and gets up off the bed.] Bette: I can't stand it... [Bette walks to the wall a couple of feet away and leans her forehead against it. She closes her eyes.] Candace: I'm sorry it's so painful. Bette: (sighs) It's so painful. [Bette looks anything but in pain. She takes a deep breath and sighs. Candace leans back and stretches out on the bed and sighs. The moments to come play out slowly.] Bette: (still facing wall) What are you doing right now? Candace: I just laid down. [Bette puts a hand to the wall, eyes still closed.] Bette: (whispering) I'm lying on top of you. [Candace gasps.] Bette: (whispering) You know what I'm doing right now? Candace: I think so... [Bette brushes her lips against the wall and starts to breath heavy.] Candace: God, this is f*cking insane! What are you doing to me? Bette: (whispering) f*cking you... [Candace opens her eyes.] Candace: Come over here. Bette: (whispering) I am there, you know I am. [Bette takes her hand from the wall. A few moments later, she shivers in orgasm.] INT. - THE GARAGE - NIGHT [Robin and Jenny are sitting on the couch now, facing one another. The Murmurs "Genius" plays in the background.] Jenny: So, um, I remember that we were all squished into the back seat of the car. Robin: Yeah. Jenny: It was me, um, Todd, Amy, and of course Andrew, and we're all making out, which is good. And then I felt that Andrew had an erection, and it was just... and I reached over, and I undid his fly. And I remember, it was really small. (a beat) And I remember, it was just, like... he was really terrified. Robin: (a beat) So you did it? Jenny: I did. With my panties on. I just slipped them to the side. And I did it. [Robin looks a little disenchanted, but manages a smile.] Jenny: I don't know why. I just felt like... (whispering) I have to do this. Robin: (quietly) Hm. You were 13? Jenny: (nodding) Yeah. [Robin leans forward as if to say something. The sound of a car pulling up outside is heard, followed by car doors slamming. It's Tim, and he's brought some friends.] Friend #1: (off screen) Hey, Jenny. You in there? He said you'd be home. Jenny! Jenny: f*ck, um... [Jenny gets up and goes to the window.] Robin: (laughing) What's going on? [Jenny lifts the curtain to look out the window. Two of Tim's friends are sitting on the back porch. Tim is inside, a case of beer in one hand. They've obviously all been drinking already.] Jenny: (to self) sh1t, Tim... [Tim's friends see Jenny looking out the window.] Friend #1: Jenny? Jenny! Friend #2: Jenny! Jenny, c'mon out. C'mon out and play. [Tim turns the stereo on and grabs a pizza and joins the guys on the back porch. Robin gets up to look out the window.] Robin: Hm. Who the hell is that? Jenny: I, uh... [Robin looks out the window and sees the guys.] Robin: Who is that? Jenny: Um... hm. That - that's Tim - that - that's my ex. Robin: Ah. Jenny: Uh... he's renting me the place and he said that he would be out really late tonight. Robin: Mm. Maybe we should try this another time, hm? How 'bout Friday? Jenny: I can't. Robin: Oh. Jenny: I, uh... I'm working, uh... at Laurelwood Farms. Uh... the late shift because I need the money. Robin: (sympathizing) I've been there. Jenny: Um... are you free on Saturday night? Robin: I have a date. Jenny: Oh. Robin: I'm dating. Jenny: Of course you are. Robin: (smiling) This was a date, right? Jenny: (smiling) Totally. Robin: (touching Jenny's arm) Well... um, why don't I just... I'll, um... um, I'll call you and we'll work it out. Jenny: (sigh of relief) Yes. [Jenny heads to the door and opens it. Robin puts on her jacket. Tim's obnoxious rock music comes in and totally crushes whatever ambience Jenny and Robin had going.] Jenny: Bye. I'll see you later. [Robin steps outside.] Robin: Mkay. I'll call you tomorrow. [Jenny goes up to Robin and kisses her passionately in front of Tim and his friends. Tim's friends ogle them.] Friend #1: Yeah-hah-hah! Friend #2: Ooh-hoo-hoo! Friend #1: Woo! EXT. - TIM'S HOUSE - BACK PORCH - NIGHT [The guys are watching Jenny and Robin kissing.] Friend #2: Yes! Friend #1: Woohoo! Friend #2: (to Tim) I guess you weren't man enough for her.

A near-riot at the art gallery lands Bette, Dana, Shane and Alice in the L.A. County Jail, which puts Bette in dangerous proximity to Candace when they share a cell together. Meanwhile, Kit meets Ivan ( Kelly Lynch ), a very masculine auto mechanic whom she is strangely attracted to. Marina contemplates life without Francesca and begins to flirt with Robin, knowing that Robin has planned a date with Jenny. Jenny tries to write a story about manatees and attends the local aquarium for inspiration. There, she meets an attractive marine biologist named Gene and asks him out. As Tim and Jenny discuss divorce, Shane's relationships spin out of control when Clea refuses to take no for an answer.

fd_Alias_01x08

fd_Alias_01x08_0

SYDNEY: (voice over) I'm leaving for England tonight. SD-6 has traced the Rambaldi artifact to the engineering science department at Oxford. K-Directorate's on this. I need to act fast, so that Ana doesn't get there first. (Oxford, night. A van pulls up outside the university. Inside, Dixon sits behind a computer and there are monitors everywhere. Sydney dresses, wearing a red wig.) DIXON: So, FTL found the Rambaldi artifact in Tunisia. Why'd they send it here? SYDNEY: Analysis. The engineering department is among the best in the world. DIXON: Remember, the lens has to be within two feet of the key card to get a reading. SYDNEY: Got it. How do I look? DIXON: For the record, that's a question you never have to ask. SYDNEY: (smiles) FTL agents are here posing as campus security. Watch your back. DIXON: You, too. (She gets out.) (Inside the party -- a waiter mingles with a tray of drinks. Classical music plays.) PROFESSOR BLUME: For a journalist, you have quite a remarkable grasp of engineering principles. What is your background? ANA: My family was in demolition. PROFESSOR BLUME: Really? (She smiles.) ANA: So, is it true that your department's just received ancient technology from Tunisia? PROFESSOR BLUME: Who told you that? ANA: Well, you just did. Ha ha ha! I'd love to see your lab. (Sydney enters. Dixon talks to her from the van via a transmitter in her ear.) DIXON: See anybody, Syd? SYDNEY: I've spotted Professor Hoyt. Do you see anything? DIXON: Get closer. I can't tell if he's got the card on him. (Sydney moves closer.) SYDNEY: Anything? DIXON: Yeah, the key card's in his breast pocket. But you're too far away, get him to turn towards you. SYDNEY: (British accent) Excuse me, Professor Hoyt? PROFESSOR HOYT: Yes? (A device on Sydney's purse scans his pocket. Dixon sees it from the van's monitor, it's like x-ray vision.) DIXON: Hold that... for thirty seconds. SYDNEY: I'm Molly Zertan, with the Marissa Foundation. We're very interested in your current study. PROFESSOR HOYT: Really? Which one? (In the van, Dixon opens a file folder and glances through it.) DIXON: Hoyt is currently studying the crashworthiness of transportation vehicles. SYDNEY: Your study on crashworthiness of transportation vehicles. PROFESSOR HOYT: Oh, wonderful. Yes, yes. Well, of course, getting funding is very difficult, particularly in today's economic climate. DIXON: The duplicate key card's printing! (Sydney sees Ana walk by with Professor Blume. Ana raises her glass to Sydney and smirks.) SYDNEY: That is so true... DIXON: Got it, Syd. I'm on my way. (Dixon takes the new duplicate key card and leaves the van.) SYDNEY: (to Hoyt) Excuse me. (Dixon approaches, posing as a waiter, with a tray of drinks. He gives Sydney a napkin that has the duplicate card inside and a drink.) SYDNEY: Contact university security, tell them someone's trying to break into the engineering lab. DIXON: Then the FTL guards will know. SYDNEY: Ana's here. DIXON: Got it. Calling the guards now. (In the corridor outside the party near the lab, Professor Blume lays unconscious -- possibly dead. Ana stands over him. She takes his wallet, gets the key card, and walks down some stairs. She's stopped by two guards.) GUARD 1: Freeze, right there! ANA: Oh, thank God! Someone's done something terrible to Professor Blume! (Ana kicks him, slams the guard against the wall. She blocks a punch, kicks one in the stomach and kicks the other guard. One guard gets her from behind and tries strangling her. She struggles. Just then, Sydney walks by on her way to the lab. Ana and Sydney make eye contact. Sydney raises her glass to Ana and smirks. Sydney gets to the door of the lab. She swipes the key card Dixon made, and takes her glass of champagne and empties it over the keypad. It crackles and fizzles, shorting out. Ana runs up, but Sydney is inside. The door is locked, and Ana can't use her key card because Sydney shorted it out. Sydney smirks from inside the lab, and kisses the door leaving her lipstick imprint like Ana did to her before. Ana is seething. Sydney runs inside the lab.) SYDNEY: I'm in the lab. I don't see anything. (She runs down the lab and sees an ancient clock sitting on the counter. She takes it.) SYDNEY: Okay, I got it! (Outside, Ana tries her card but it doesn't work. She takes her gun and shoots the window in the door several times. Sydney takes the clock and kicks a window out. She climbs through. Ana finally enters, runs, sees the clock's already gone. She runs to the window just in time to see the SD-6 van drive away, tires squealing.) (Credit Dauphine. Sloane's office. Jack enters.) JACK: Got a minute? SLOANE: Of course. (Jack drops a newspaper in front of Sloane.) JACK: Eloise Kurtz. She was found dead two days ago in Echo Park. She was a new promotion at SD-6. SLOANE: Yes, I know. JACK: You retired her, didn't you? SLOANE: I think the more pressing question is, why did you send her to talk to a reporter without running it by me first? JACK: I wasn't keeping it from you, but this reporter-- SLOANE: Will Tippin. JACK: Yes. He's a friend of Sydney's. He was looking into the name Kate Jones, one of her aliases. I tasked Eloise Kurtz to lead him down a dead end so he'd drop it. SLOANE: You underestimated Tippin and Agent Kurtz's lack of field experience. Put us all at risk. What are you doing using a junior agent, Jack? JACK: Talk to McCullough. I used Eloise Kurtz based on his assessment of her field ability. He gave her his highest rating. In any case, I had contingencies, all of which are now irrelevant. SLOANE: Tell me something. How did Tippin get a lead on the Kate Jones alias in the first place? JACK: I don't know yet, but I'm looking into it. SLOANE: Well, your efforts notwithstanding, that reporter may be a casualty of his own curiosity. JACK: I'd consider that a last resort. I know you want what's best for Sydney, and if at all possible, we should spare her the pain of losing someone else. SLOANE: Well, how do you suggest we proceed? JACK: Leave it to me. I'll get Tippin off the story. SLOANE: And if you can't? JACK: Then I'll kill him myself. (Sydney walks her professor.) PROFESSOR: This is unacceptable. You've missed classes-- SYDNEY: I know, but when I-- PROFESSOR: ...Turned in papers late... SYDNEY: Yeah, listen, my job-- PROFESSOR: Sydney, enough about your job. This has only been getting worse since we spoke about this last. Now, if you want to be a banker, be a banker. SYDNEY: I understand, and look, this probably isn't the best written analysis of Fitzergald you've ever read, but come on. This is not a D paper. PROFESSOR: There's no spirit in this paper, no soul. Now, you fix it by Friday, or I'll have to re-evaluate your placement in this program. (After, Sydney enters a parking garage. As she walks to her vehicle, she becomes aware of a man standing nearby, apparently talking on his cell phone.) MAN: (on phone) Dr. Wilkinson. Yes, I'll hold. Hello, Dr. Wilkinson here. How are you? (Sydney walks slowly.) MAN: (on phone) Of course, yes. I'd like to discuss about the meeting last n ight. (Sydney takes out her cell phone, still walking away from the man. She sees that there is no service... the man's pretending to talk on his phone.) MAN: (on phone) A late lunch... (Sydney, while walking, turns behind a car. The man, watching Sydney, begins walking to see where she went.) MAN: (on phone) Yes... (He puts the phone down temporarily, walking. He goes behind the car where Sydney went.) MAN: (on phone) Yes, yes. Let's talk about that meeting, yes. That's what we talked about. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Hold on a second... (He turns around, looking. Sydney grabs a pipe from up above, and swings down, kicking the man. He falls, spread eagle on the ground. Sydney straddles him and takes his gun, pointing it at his waist.) SYDNEY: Who are you? WHO ARE YOU?! (Credit Dauphine. Sydney and Sloane.) SLOANE: Security section said you assaulted one of its officers. SYDNEY: This wasn't security section. It wasn't standard procedure. This was a tracker and he has been constant. I have seen him three times in the past two days and I found this under my car. (She unveils a small device used for tracking, I guess.) SYDNEY: If there is something you want to know about me, then you ask me! SLOANE: The sanctity of this agency requires the sacrifice of some personal freedoms. SD-6 is stepping up security. McCullough assigned the tracker, that's his province. Now, we have a briefing. Do you think you can focus? SYDNEY: Yeah. I think I can. SLOANE: Good. (Briefing with Sloane, Marshall, and Sydney.) SLOANE: The clock you retreived was designed by Giovanni Donato. He died in 1503, his initials are engraved on the bottom. Now, Donato was a master clock-maker, but more importantly, he was the only man Milo Rambaldi ever collaborated with. There is a single reference to Donato in our Rambaldi archive. Apparently, Rambaldi commissioned the clock himself. SYDNEY: And because of Rambaldi's involvment, you think it's more than just a clock. SLOANE: That was Rambaldi's style. Hiding codes in designs within his artwork. Go, Marshall. MARSHALL: (stands) Um, now, I know we're all a bit hungry for lunch, so I'll try to use the maximum amount of brevity possible. And, okay, now, as a clock, this piece was far ahead of its time. Margin of error less than one second per decade, and the weirdest part about it is this gear assembly. I mean, part of it is that it doesn't seem to have any real purpose. SYDNEY: This number on the back... what is it, a date? MARSHALL: Well, we're analyzing that. You know what we found so far? Nothing happened that day. Literally. It's the one day in history that basically zero things occurred. SLOANE: We have a very good reason to believe that this clock will reveal another piece of the Rambaldi puzzle. The problem is, the clock doesn't work. Without specific instructions, we can't risk damaging it. We've located a direct descendant of Donato in Positano. Luckily, he went into the family business. Your mission, Agent Bristow, is quite simple. Take the clock to Donato, get him to fix it, and bring it back. SYDNEY: That's it? SLOANE: That's it. (Out in the main room at SD-6, Sydney walks up to Jack.) SYDNEY: Dad. Do you have a few minutes? JACK: Yes, of course. Could you just-- SYDNEY: Somewhere quiet. Somewhere else. (They enter a room.) JACK: In here. (Sydney closes the door with a remote. They sit down. Jack takes out a thing that's about the size of a pen. He flips the lid.) JACK: Signal jammer. We're okay for sixty seconds, they'll think it's radio interference. Talk quickly. SYDNEY: Sloane's having me followed. I confronted the guy last night, I thought it might be K-Directorate looking for revenge after Oxford. I talked to Sloane, he insists it's all routine. Should I be worried? JACK: I'm one of only five agents in this office who knows the truth about SD-6. I've had Sloane's trust, but lately, I haven't been informed of much at all. SYDNEY: So, what does that mean? JACK: Two things concern me. While you were in Romania, Marshall noticed some computer abnormalities. I assumed it was just a system error, but it's possible he's realized that the SD-6's network's been compromised. SYDNEY: Could Sloane trace it to C.I.A.? JACK: I don't know. The second thing, Carl Dreyer is coming in from op comm to upgrade the biometric scanners. But if Sloane suspects a double agent, Dreyer is the one he'd turn to. If that's the case, the first thing Dreyer would do is give each of us a functional imaging test. SYDNEY: What's that? JACK: Lie detector test. SYDNEY: I studied the C.I.A. instruction book on how to take a successful LDT. JACK: This isn't like that. This test monitors variations in blood flow in the brain. It's very difficult to deceive. Tell your handler Vaughn he needs to prepare you for this. If he can't, he'll get someone who can. SYDNEY: Dad, you seem nervous. (The signal jammer beeps.) JACK: Well, I think that should be fine. Thanks for coming to me. SYDNEY: Of course... (Jack leaves.) (Will's office. He eats lunch while talking on the phone. His boss walks down the hall next to his office.) WILL: No, I think that's nice. Yeah, of course. No, I think he's going to love it, yeah. Yeah. I'm sure. Mmm-hmm. (His boss comes closer and enters the office.) WILL: Okay, Mom, I got to go. Mmm. I got to go. My boss is standing right here, I got to go. I love you, too! (He hangs up, looks up sheepishly at his boss.) WILL: I'm sorry. BOSS: There's still no quote in here from Daniel Hecht's fiancee. WILL: Yeah, I know, I didn't get the quote yet. BOSS: Will, we can't keep having this conversation. WILL: June, listen to me, this is very difficult for me. BOSS: We have quotes from deceased relatives. WILL: Can you just stop for a second? No, no, I'm not going to do this story. BOSS: Excuse me? WILL: I'm not going to run this story. I'm not going to do the piece. BOSS: You pushed me to let you pursue this. WILL: I know. BOSS: And then you convinced me that there was a connection between these two deaths! WILL: I know, I know! I still think something terrible happened. June, I told you this before, if running this story's going to hurt my friend, I don't want to do it. BOSS: You still haven't told her you're working on this, have you? (He looks away.) BOSS: Like I said, you either finish this, or I will put another writer on it. You tell her and get the quote. This goes to bed tomorrow, ten o'clock. (Sydney's house. Will knocks.) WILL: It's me. SYDNEY: It's open. (She sits at the counter, typing on a laptop. Will walks in.) SYDNEY: Hey, Will. WILL: Hey. (rubs her arm) SYDNEY: Hey. WILL: What's the paper on? (He picks up a book that was sitting near Sydney and opens it.) SYDNEY: It's a redo. Professor said it didn't have any soul, so I'm writing a paper with soul. It's got lots of soul! WILL: (reading from book) "Laura, all my love forever and a day, Jack." That's not, like, your dad Jack, is it? SYDNEY: Yeah. WILL: Wow. That's uncharateristically sweet of him. SYDNEY: I know. He actually has a heart, which I'm learning little by little. He bought all these for my mom. WILL: Oh. Oh, I got your message. You're going on another trip? That's, like, what's that? Seven this month? The bank ever going to let up? (He gets himself something to drink. Sydney thinks.) WILL: What's up? SYDNEY: There's this situation at work. Just... some money is missing from petty cash, and it looks like there might be a formal inquiry. WILL: They don't suspect you, do they? SYDNEY: No, but it looks like they're going to give us all lie detector tests, which is just... WILL: Can I make a suggestion, just for, like, the eight millionth time? Why don't you just quit your job? I mean, you can get a job anywhere. I don't know, I just... I just think it's weird. SYDNEY: I know... (She starts playing with her engagement ring. Will notices. She shows him.) SYDNEY: I still wear this... WILL: (quietly) I know. (Her phone rings.) SYDNEY: Hello? VOICE: Joey's Pizza? SYDNEY: Wrong number. (She hangs up and smiles at Will.) SYDNEY: What are you doing here? WILL: I just, uh, came by to say hi. SYDNEY: Hi. WILL: (quietly) Hi. (Self-storage facility. Vaughn sits at a table where a computer is hooked up. Sydney has a few electrodes on her head.) VAUGHN: Have you ever had unauthorized contact with members of any intelligence agency besides SD-6? SYDNEY: No. (The computer starts beeping and reads fifty-one.) VAUGHN: Okay, um, again, you have to stay under thirty. This test measures the blood flow to the emotional part of your brain. Now, if you want to divert the blood, you have to engage the reasoning center-- SYDNEY: I'm trying! VAUGHN: You're reacting emotionally! SYDNEY: It's not like there's a switch you can flick! VAUGHN: You just have to split your focus. SYDNEY: Maybe that's the problem. Maybe I've split my focus already. C.I.A., SD-6, and school, my friends... VAUGHN: Sydney, you can do this. You have to. Have you ever had unauthorized contact with members of any intelligence agency besides SD-6? SYDNEY: No. (Twenty-eight and descending.) VAUGHN: Better. (She takes a deep breath.) VAUGHN: Are you romantically interested in anyone? (Sydney gives him a look.) VAUGHN: Could be a question. SYDNEY: No, I'm not. (Fifty-six.) VAUGHN: Interesting. SYDNEY: Wait, ask me that again. VAUGHN: No, I don't have to. We have our answer right here. That's very good. Moving on. SYDNEY: Hey. (He looks.) SYDNEY: If this were for real, I'd be dead by now, wouldn't I? VAUGHN: Hey, we're just getting started here, okay? [SCENE_BREAK] (Positano. Sydney, wearing a backpack and carrying a suitcase, walks into a building. She goes to the elevator and goes up. She steps off and walks down a hall, knocks at a door. An old man opens the peephole.) SYDNEY: Signor Donato? (speaking Italian) DONATO: (speaking Italian) SYDNEY: Signor Donato, per favore. (Sydney talks to him and mentions Rambaldi and puts the case down. He opens the door. She shows him the clock. He can't believe his eyes, and lets her in.) DONATO: You are American? SYDNEY: Yes. DONATO: Only an American would come to my door without telephoning. (SD-6. Jack walks up to a young man sitting at the phones.) JACK: Seth, can you get in touch with my contact at the airlines? I need to put a back trace on a passenger manifest. I'll be in my office. (Seth nods and picks up the phone, starts dialing.) (Will's newspaper. He meets with his boss.) BOSS: You ever seen the passenger manifest for Flight 816? WILL: No, my guy at the airport told me over the phone. He was going to fax it to me. BOSS: Seat 11A -- Daniel Hecht. Look up seat 11B. WILL: Yeah, it was Kate Jones, I know. BOSS: Look at it. (Will looks at the manifest.) WILL: Zachary Cohen? BOSS: There was no Kate Jones booked on that flight. WILL: Wait, I don't understand. BOSS: I don't understand either, but it seems there's no longer a single fact to support your theory that someone's covering up Daniel Hecht's murder. WILL: What about Eloise Kurtz? BOSS: A woman who someone hires to tell you that she's Kate Jones so you will stop looking for the real Kate Jones. WILL: Yeah, that's right. BOSS: Well, I hate to be insensitive, but she's dead. WILL: Well, I had my notes from my interview with her. BOSS: You have no recording. WILL: Oh, hey, what about the video blackout the night of Danny's murder? BOSS: You really want to try to build a case on lack of photographic evidence? And you put Jenny down as your fact-checker, and when we asked her, she said she didn't make a single call! WILL: No, that's right. That's because she didn't. I was doing her a favor. She does a lot of work for me, and I was just giving her a research credit! It was like a gift. BOSS: It was like a lie! WILL: Yes, it was a lie! It was a kind lie! BOSS: And on the eve of your first front-page story, you suddenly get cold feet. WILL: What are you saying? What are you saying? I made this whole thing up? Look, I swear to God, the only reason I didn't want this story to run is 'cause I don't want to hurt Sydney Bristow. That's it. BOSS: You're a talented writer, Will. But I promise you, if anything like this happens again, the only thing you'll be inventing are facts on your resume. (Positano. Sydney sits facing the window, across from Donato. He looks at the clock.) DONATO: The first Giovanni Donato. His timepieces were miracles of precision. Kings and queens offered him vast riches if only he would design clocks for them. He refused. But, he did tmake one exception. SYDNEY: For Rambaldi. DONATO: Mmm. SYDNEY: Why? DONATO: Rambaldi made him a promise. SYDNEY: What did he promise? DONATO: Rambaldi promised him he would live an impossibly long life. He even revealed to him when he would die. SYDNEY: Was he right? DONATO: Of course. (Sydney notices the symbol on the clock.) SYDNEY: This symbol on the front. What does it mean? DONATO: The magnific order of Rambaldi. Rambaldi's most loyal followers entrusted with safeguarding his creations. Sadly, like miost things that once were pure, criminals now use this symbol to infiltrate the order. (Downstairs, Ana and two men enter the building. The two men run up the stairs. A sniper shooter goes up to the roof on an adjacent building. He points the rifle right at Sydney. Ana hits the button on the elevator to go up, and we see her tattoo on her hand -- .) SYDNEY: What about this date? DONATO: It must have meant something to Rambaldi. The clock was built from one of his designs. He never did tell me what it meant. SYDNEY: What did you say? DONATO: Oh, uh, my mother. My mother never told me. I don't think she knew. There's still one piece missing I don't have. SYDNEY: So, it won't work? DONATO: It will tell time, if that's what you mean. (He starts the clock, and stares at her. The sniper from the building next door looks.) SNIPER: The clock is finished. I've got Bristow in my sight. (Ana is on the elevator.) ANA: The the shot whenever you have it. (In Donato's place.) SYDNEY: Mr. Donato, what was Rambaldi working on? DONATO: The clock is fixed now. It's over. (The sniper points at Sydney, but Donato stands and blocks the shot. He is shot instead of Sydney, and his body falls to the ground. Bullets riddle the office. Sydney, with blood on her face, falls to the ground as well and sees Donato is dead. She grabs the clock and runs out. She goes to the elevator, but sees Ana getting off. She runs downstairs to see the two goons are there. She runs upstairs. Ana gets back in the elevator and hits the up button. Sydney runs up the stairs. Ana is going upstairs right alongside. The goons are on Sydney's tail. She runs up the stirs and gets to the roof. She takes a hook out of her backpack, clasps it onto the railing. Ana and her goons shoot at Sydney. The hook is connected to a rope. Sydney jumps off the building and lands on the ground. She unhooks the rope from her backpack with the clock in her hand and starts running. They shoot at her.) (At Sydney's house, she flops down on the couch and sighs.) SYDNEY: Ahhh yeah... FRANCIE: Hey, welcome back. SYDNEY: Thanks. (Sydney lifts her legs so Francie can sit. Sydney puts her legs on her, stretching out.) FRANCIE: Okay, so, the good news is, I went by your professor's office to drop off the paper but he wasn't in, so the secretary wanted me to leave it with her, only remember sophomore year? So, I waited around and handed it to him personally. SYDNEY: Thank you, Francie. Was there bad news? FRANCIE: Yeah. I was making lemonade and I spilled it all over your mom's book. (She takes it out and gives it to Sydney.) FRANCIE: And I am so sorry, and I think it's going to be fine, it's all dry... SYDNEY: It's okay, don't worry. It doesn't matter. Thank you for handing in the paper. FRANCIE: You're welcome. (That night, in bed, Sydney drinks wine and reads her mother's book that Francie spilled the lemonade on. She turns a page and sees something. At the edge of the page, there are some faint writing. She puts it up to the light, then up to a candle.) (Self-storage. More fun testing.) VAUGHN: Have you ever leaked information about SD-6 to other intelligence agencies? SYDNEY: No. (Twenty-four.) VAUGHN: Are you a double agent? SYDNEY: No. But my father is. VAUGHN: I'm sure he'd be thrilled if you gave Dreyer that answer. SYDNEY: Not now for the C.I.A.; twenty years ago for the KGB. My mother was a teacher, my father used to buy her books-- VAUGHN: Sydney-- SYDNEY: First editions, one a month, shipped from a book store they discovered on a trip to Prague. VAUGHN: Sydney, but we really need to-- SYDNEY: Listen to me! Look, I thought it was the sweetest thing -- romantic, a side of him that died when she did. But last night, I discovered codes hidden inside those books! It's obviously how the KGB was sending him messages. VAUGHN: No, what kind of codes? SYDNEY: One-time pads. Blocks of cipher-text written in sets of five cyrillic letters. VAUGHN: Staple of the KGB. SYDNEY: Yeah. VAUGHN: All right, we'll deal with that, and I want to see those books. But right now, you still have Dreyer's test coming up and your life still depends on how well you do. (Will sits at his desk, and goes through the file on Danny. He closes it and puts it away in his desk drawer. His phone rings.) WILL: Hello, this is Will. MIKE: Hey, Will. It's Mike. WILL: Hey, Mike, how you doing? MIKE: Okay. Your friend Eloise brought her car in. WILL: Eloise Kurtz? MIKE: Yeah, that's her. She never picked it up, but she told me she needed it right away. WILL: She did? MIKE: Yeah. So, do you know where she is? WILL: Hey, you mind if I come down there and take a look at her car? MIKE: No, no, come down to the shop. You know where we are. (Auto shop. Will sits inside Eloise's car. He looks around, picks up a bottle of pills, examines it. His cell rings.) WILL: Will Tippin. BOSS: How kiss-ass of you. (Will leans over to the glove compartment, and sticks his hand in the Kleenex box. Inside is a flower lapel pin.) WILL: What? BOSS: The stargazer lilies and the card. "I didn't make up a single fact." WILL: Well, I didn't. I thought you knew me well enough to know I didn't by now. BOSS: I am calling to clarify that you are on the soil erosion story, and I don't want you to waste another minute on Kate Jones. Are we clear? (Will puts the pin up to the mouthpiece on his phone. He gets an electronic feedback sound.) WILL: Yeah. We're clear. (Briefing with Sloane, Marshall, Sydney and Dixon at SD-6.) SLOANE: As you know for some time now, we have been operating under the assumption that the sume of Rambaldi's inventions are greater than the parts. This clock is evidence of that. (He motions to Marshall. Very excited -- more so than usual, Marshall stands.) MARSHALL: Thank you. Hi. All right, now, who here remembers this? (He holds up the golden circle.) SYDNEY: The golden sun I got from the church in Malaga. MARSHALL: That's right, the polymer. If you look at it closely, hundreds of tiny imperfections. Air bubbles. Nothing unusual, right? But what is unusual is this. (He slides the sun into the ancient clock. The polymer acts like a background for the arms of the clock.) MARSHALL: Now, I realized if you set this to exactly 12:22, and 1/22... then this happens. (Dixon, more than intrigued, stands up and comes closer. The clock stops ticking. Marshall holds a giant magnifying glass and hands it to Sydney.) MARSHALL: Ms. Bristow, ladies first. (She holds up the glass and sees little sparkles of light in the golden polymer.) SYDNEY: What is that? MARSHALL: It's a star chart. A snapshot of the sky taken from one specific place on earth at one specific moment in time. (Jack enters.) JACK: Sorry I'm late. DIXON: Sort of like an ancient GPS system. MARSHALL: Well, yeah, if you have the date and the time that the snapshot was taken. See, that's the genius. See, these two things separately? Nothing, nothing at all. But you put them together and... that sound that you're--you know that boom? That's my mind blowing. SLOANE: Now, if we assume that star chart refers to the date on the back of the clock: August 16, 1523 at 12:22AM GMT, then the only spot on earth with that exact view of the stars is the southern slope of Mt. Aconcagua on the Chile/Argentina border. DIXON: "X" marks the spot. So, we think Rambaldi stored something there. SLOANE: Possibly. Your mission is to find out. Marshall will fill you in on the op tech. Oh, and Sydney? Before you head off, I want you to go down to Psych and see Carl Dreyer. (Sloane leaves. Sydney makes eye contact with her father.) (Psych room. Dreyer sits at a desk, Sydney sits in a high-back chair that has a cover over her ears and temples.) DREYER: What is your name? SYDNEY: Sydney Bristow. DREYER: What color are your eyes? SYDNEY: Brown. DREYER: Are you sitting down? SYDNEY: Yes. DREYER: Are you an agent of SD-6? SYDNEY: Yes. DREYER: Are you a double agent? SYDNEY: No. (Blood clinic van. Inside, Sydney sits up on the counter with her legs crossed under her. She stares at nothing and twists her engagement ring on her finger. Vaughn stands nearby.) VAUGHN: This is a still camera with a digital signal uplinked to a geosynchronous keyhole satellite. So, whatever's in Argentina, we won't have to wait for the pictures. SYDNEY: Is there a transmission window? VAUGHN: Uh, no, it's geosynchronous orbit. Just point and click. SYDNEY: Yeah... VAUGHN: You seem a little distracted. What, is it the test? SYDNEY: I'm not sure I passed. And they're still watching me. It took me twenty minutes to shake the guy they had tailing me. VAUGHN: Well, they wouldn't be sending you on a mission if you failed. SYDNEY: I don't think they know the results yet. VAUGHN: Look, I know how much you want to do this -- take down SD-6 -- but your life is more important. So, if you really think you failed the test, we have a plan in place to take you out. A protection program. SYDNEY: No. I can't do it. Live in hiding. Not a chance. VAUGHN: Good luck in Argentina. (Argentina. In the Andes, a Hummer comes to a stop and Sydney and Dixon climb out.) SYDNEY: Six-mile trek and we should be there. DIXON: There are easier jobs than this. SYDNEY: God, no kidding! DIXON: You know, I've been meaning to tell you something. I'm proud of you. SYDNEY: What? Of me? DIXON: Yeah. SYDNEY: Why? DIXON: Well, I've worked with a lot of people. You make it look easy. The thing I admire most is your courage. (They put their backpacks on.) SYDNEY: My courage? DIXON: After what happened with Danny, the way you came back. Your commitment to the job. And I know what we do isn't for ourselves, it's for the good of the country. Still, uh... thanks. (In a room at the newspaper, Will draws the window blinds. A geeky guy, heretofore known as GEEK, inspects the flower pin.) WILL: So, you're saying it's a bug? GEEK: No, no, no, I'm saying it's a tarantula. This thing hops channels so fast, you could never intercept a transmission. My guess is it's encrypted to boot. WILL: Where can you buy this? GEEK: Buy this? You can't. This is government issue. WILL: Government? GEEK: My sister's husband is Secret Service. His transmitter couldn't touch this. If you ask me, I'd say it's intelligence. What's the frequency, Kenneth? Ha ha ha! (Dixon and Sydney hike, trying to find the Rambaldi spot.) DIXON: What do you think this Rambaldi guy is all about? SYDNEY: I wish we knew already. I can think of about a thousand places I'd rather be right now. (Dixon laughs.) SYDNEY: Hey, I think we're almost at our waypoint. 32.42 by 70.01. DIXON: What the hell are we doing here? SYDNEY: I don't know. It feels like a wild goose chase. DIXON: Aw, damn it. I can't get a line of sight to the satellite. It's a low-earth orbit. We're blocked by the mountains. SYDNEY: Hey, give me a hand here. (Her handheld monitor starts beeping. They start to dig. They move the ground to see a lid with the Rambaldi symbol . Sydney lifts the lid with Dixon's help and almost falls in. He helps her up. They look and see that it's a big black hole.) SYDNEY: I'm going in. DIXON: All right. I'll hike out until I can acquire the satellite. I'll call for support. Syd, be careful. (She nods, takes a flashlight and starts climbing down. She goes down the ladder that never seems to end. She finally reaches the bottom of this underground cave. She looks around with the help of her flashlight and sees nothing, until she notices a lid imbedded into the rock. It has the symbol on it. After much grunting, she gets it open and reaches inside. A leather journal is found, with the symbol on the cover. Sydney opens it and sees designs and writing. She picks up her walkie-talkie.) SYDNEY: Dixon, I found it! It's Rambaldi's journal, I found it! (She starts taking pictures for the C.I.A. -- turning the page and clicking pictures. Suddenly, Dixon's hushed voice crackles over the walkie-talkie.) DIXON: Sydney, I don't know how they found us... K-Directorate... SYDNEY: Dixon? DIXON: They're here! Ana's here! Sydney, get out of there! Now! (Shots are heard.) SYDNEY: Dixon, do you copy? Dixon, do you copy? Do you copy? (SD-6. Psych room. Sloane enters.) SLOANE: Have you finished with Sydney's results? DREYER: I think we've found our mole. (Sydney, with the journal, runs down the cave to go back to the ladder to find Dixon. About a foot away from the ladder, she stops dead in her tracks to see Ana, just having finished climbing down the ladder, pointing a gun at Sydney.) SYDNEY: What did you do to Dixon? ANA: Put the book down. (Sydney throws the book at her. She kicks the gun away and kicks Ana in the back. Ana punches her three times. Sydney runs and kicks Ana. Ana grabs the gun and shoots Sydney three times. Sydney is sprawled out on the floor, not moving. Ana takes the journal, puts it in her canvas bag, and starts up the ladder. She takes one last look at Sydney, and moves up the ladder quickly. Sydney rolls over. She unbuttons her shirt to see the bullets lodged into a bulletproof vest. She sees Ana making her way up the ladder and starts up herself. Ana climbs the ladder, Sydney behind her. Ana falls a little, but keeps going. The bag gets caught on one of the ropes, giving Sydney a few moments to catch up. They start kicking each other. Sydney tries grabbing the bag off her shoulder. Ana kicks her in the face. Sydney grabs the bag again, but Ana elbows Sydney in the face. Sydney grabs for Ana's foot, but Ana kicks her off the ladder. Sydney falls, and falls, and falls... right down to the bottom of the cave.) SYDNEY: AAAAHHHHHHH!

Sydney must undergo an extensive lie detector test to satisfy Sloane's frantic search for the SD-6 mole. With nemesis Anna Espinosa following her every move, Sydney is told to find out the truth about the connection that a clock made by one Giovanni Donato for Rambaldi in the 16th century may have to the 500-year-old prophetic Rambaldi sketch with the binary digits on the back. The mystery of Kate Jones deepens as Will continues to investigate Danny's death when he finds a piece of jewelry in her abandoned car that works as a microphone to contact someone else. Sydney accidentally discovers that some books her father gave her mother as a present have 5-character rows of Cyrillic letters imprinted at the margins, which seems to prove that he indeed had some kind of connection with the KGB.

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[Scene: Manor, Attic. Paige is making a potion. There's a small explosion. The phones are also on the table.] Paige: Ah, damn it! (Piper enters.) Piper: Shh! Keep it down. I just got Chris to sleep. Paige: Well, if you were here to help me, you know, that would maybe help. Piper: Yes, and I will do that, but first I need to make sure Wyatt's okay at preschool. Have you seen the phone? Paige: Preschool? Don't you mean magic school? Piper: No, I mean preschool. We enrolled him last week, remember? Paige: You didn't tell me that. Did you? Piper: Yes, and you said you were worried about him using magic in public. Paige: Oh. And what'd you say? Piper: I said I was worried about him having a normal life. Paige: Huh. All right. Cool. I'm all up to speed now. It's just with these charges and these demons attacking, eh, I'm a little scattered. (Paige adds something in the potion.) Piper: And that's different how exactly? Paige: I just don't know why the Elders couldn't see fit to give me a local witch instead of a New Zealand witch. Piper: I don't know, but I need the phone. (She sees the phones.) Paige: No! No. No using the phone. Piper: Why are all the handsets up here? Paige: Because I am trying to prevent a demon attack. Piper: What? Paige: Look, all the attacks have been different, right? And all the demons have had different powers. The one thing I've noticed is that every time a phone rings, a demon attacks. Piper: No, they don't. Phoebe called earlier and nothing happened. Paige: Really? (The Elders jingle. She groans.) Stop the jingling, already. I'll be there as soon as I can. Charges. (The phone rings. Demon shimmers in and throws an energy ball. They duck. Piper tries to blow up the demon, but he falls to the floor. Paige throws a potion at the demon. Nothing. Demon creates another energy ball.) Piper! (Piper blows him up.) Piper: You might be right about that phone thing. Opening Credits [Scene: Manor, Attic. Piper hangs up the phone.] Piper: That was Wyatt's preschool. I wonder what they wanted. Paige: Well, I am more interested in these demons and what they wanted and try to figure out how to vanquish them. Piper: It just doesn't sound right. Why would demons attack when the phone rings? Paige: And they're all different demons, remember? The last one even looked kind of human. Better add some mandrake root in case they're shape shifters. Piper: Wait, the last attack happened when the preschool called, too, didn't it? Paige: Yeah, I think you're right. Do you think Wyatt is creating these demons? Piper: That's ridiculous. Paige: Well, he created the dragons. Piper: One! One lousy dragon. You're gonna hold it against him for his entire life. (Phoebe enters.) Phoebe: Oh, no. Let me guess, another demon attack? Paige: Or Wyatt's acting up again. Piper: Or Paige is overreacting again. Paige: Wyatt has been isolating himself at preschool and only talking to himself. Piper: Who said he's only talking to himself? Paige: (sing song) I heard the message. Phoebe: That's odd. Piper: No, it's not odd. Just because he's talking to himself does not mean he's creating demons. Phoebe: Except he's kind of quiet around home. Piper: So? Phoebe: So Wyatt's in his second stage of development. I mean, his sense of language should be maturing. Which means he should be talking to other people, not just himself. Piper: I'm very sorry you went back to college. Phoebe: I know, but it's really helping with my column. And that has absolutely nothing to do with why Wyatt is creating demons. Piper: He's not creating demons! Phoebe: Well, let's see. Maybe it's a reaction to preschool. Some kind of Freudian transference or something? Piper: Mumbo-jumbo! Phoebe: Look, all I'm saying is, if he's talking to himself, the problems may be normal, not magical. Piper: Normal problems like what? (Phoebe shakes her head.) Phoebe: I have no idea. It could be anything. (She sighs.) I could ask my professor. She's the expert. Piper: But I... Phoebe: Be back soon! (She leaves. Piper picks up the phone.) Paige: Hey, what are you doing? Put the phone down. Piper: I have to call the preschool. Paige: Well, then use your cell phone. (She takes the phone from Piper.) [Scene: Preschool. A teacher steps out of the room. Leo walks over.] Leo: Ms. Henderson, hey. I came as soon as I could. Ms. Henderson: Leo, what are you doing here? Leo: Well, you called about Wyatt, right? Ms. Henderson: Yeah. But I said it was nothing to worry about. I thought I made that clear. Leo: Well, I was in the area. Is he all right? Ms. Henderson: He's just talking to himself. I mean, I wouldn't have even bothered calling if your wife hadn't asked me to. Leo: She's very protective. He's-he's a special kid. Ms. Henderson: Oh, they're all special, Leo. Leo: Right, but he has special needs. Ms. Henderson: Special needs? You never said Wyatt was a special needs child. Leo: Not like that. He's, um, gifted. Ms. Henderson: First child? Leo: Is it that obvious? Ms. Henderson: Do you want to see him? Leo: Please. (They enter the classroom. Wyatt is sitting with a teddy bear by himself.) Ms. Henderson: Oh, there he is. Leo: Oh, um, how long has he been doing that...talking to himself? Ms. Henderson: Oh, I don't know. On and off since he first started coming here, I guess. Leo: Oh, and, uh, is that normal? Ms. Henderson: Normal? No. But I don't think you should be alarmed. He's just playing by himself. Lots of kids do that. Leo: Mm-hmm. (Vicus is in front of Wyatt. He laughs.) Vicus: I really like our conversations, Wyatt. But you know I'm a secret, right? Nobody else can see me. Ms. Henderson: You're just not used to letting him go during the day. Happens to lots of first-time parents. Leo: It's more complicated. Ms. Henderson: I see this every day. Trust me, it's not. Leo: You know, he wasn't feeling very well this morning. Maybe I should just take him home, you know, just-just to be safe. Ms. Henderson: Uh, well, okay, if you really think that's best. Vicus: Now we won't be able to talk much longer... Leo: Thanks. Vicus: But don't worry, I'll be back. I promise. (Leo crouches in front of Wyatt.) Leo: Okay, buddy, come on. Are you ready? Let's go home, okay? (Vicus stands up. Leo picks Wyatt up and walks away.) Vicus: See you soon, Wyatt. I want to hear more about that special teddy bear. Leo: (to Ms. Henderson) See you later. (They leave. Vicus disappears.) [Scene: Underworld. Vicus' Lair. Vicus appears. A demon comes to him.] Demon: Vicus. I was getting worried. Vicus: You failed me. Demon: We didn't fail. We've been distracting the witches for you, dying relentlessly. Vicus: But you haven't sustained the distractions. The father took the boy from school, just as I was starting to make some progress. Demon: What? Forget him. We don't need his powers. Dealing with the Charmed Ones is too dangerous anyway. Vicus: Do you think you know how to do this better than I do, Hugo? Hugo: That's not what I'm saying. You've been working at this for, what, three weeks now? We're risking everything here, and for what? Vicus: For us. To add his power to yours, to the Collective. Now, didn't I risk everything nurturing the evil within you, Hugo, just as I did with all the others? Hugo: Yes, of course you did, but... Vicus: Then you must trust me. See, this Wyatt will grow to become one of the most powerful witches to ever walk the earth. It's better he walk with us than against us. Hugo: I just worry. Vicus: Don't. I realize that I only have a small window at this age in which to change him, but I am close. Very close. [Scene: College. Phoebe runs up to a female professor.] Phoebe: Um, Professor Slotkin? Professor Slotkin: Sorry, Ms. Halliwell. I don't have time to discuss your paper topic right now. Phoebe: No, no, it's not about the paper, it's actually personal. Professor Slotkin: Oh? Phoebe: Yeah. It's about my nephew. He's two and a half, and he's just going through some stuff, and I was kind of hoping you could help me understand it. Professor Slotkin: Terrible twos? Phoebe: Well, I think it started out as that, and now it's just...well, at preschool he talks to himself, and then at home he doesn't talk to anybody. Professor Slotkin: Well, perhaps he has an imaginary friend. Although, he's a little early for that developmentally. Phoebe: Well, he's very advanced for his age. And if it was an imaginary friend, is that necessarily a bad thing? Professor Slotkin: Freud used to think it was a sign of immature thinking. Of course, nowadays we know that kids create imaginary friends for lots of reasons: Companionship, conflict resolution, sometimes as a coping mechanism. Phoebe: Let me write this down. Professor Slotkin: Oh, and that's Slotkin with an "S". You were planning on giving me credit. Phoebe: I'm sorry, what? Professor Slotkin: Well, last week we discussed Lorenz's Theory of imprinting in class, and this week I read about him in your column. I imagine we're discussing next week's content now. Phoebe: No, no. This is actually about my nephew. Professor Slotkin: Please, we both know why you're taking my class. Phoebe: I'm taking your class to be a better columnist and to understand human behavior. Professor Slotkin: I've spent years studying and teaching psychology, Ms. Halliwell, dedicated my life to it. But I'll be damned if I'm just gonna let you poach my class to steal a sound bite or two for your column. Phoebe: No, but I... Professor Slotkin: You want to learn about imaginary friends? Do the research. I look forward to reading your paper on it. (She leaves.) [Scene: Manor. Conservatory. Leo and Piper are sitting at the table while Wyatt plays with his teddy bear.] Leo: The truth is we don't know if it's a problem or not. Piper: Well, that's what has me worried. Leo: You know, maybe putting him in a normal school wasn't such a good idea. Piper: But we agreed it was a good idea. And when we did that we knew there was gonna be some road bumps like this. Leo: Okay, well, the problem is we don't know if the road bumps are magical or just a normal part of development. Piper: I wish we could just ask him. Leo: Okay, well, I think we're a few years away from him giving you an answer. Piper: Well, especially if he just keeps talking to himself. (Paige orbs in with a mask.) Whoa! (Paige puts the mask down.) Paige: Exactly. Okay, I like the Maori people, but, uh, I'm pretty okay if I don't see them again. (She sighs.) I think I found out something about who's been attacking us. Piper: Leo, would you take Wyatt upstairs so he doesn't hear the demon talk? (Leo picks up Wyatt.) Leo: Okay, buddy, let's go upstairs. Take your Wuvey with you. Paige: Anyway, as I was saying... (Leo and Wyatt leave.) I've been searching through the library at magic school, and I think I found something out about these demons. Piper: And? Paige: And it seems as if their various offensive powers are traditionally associated with good magic. Piper: Good magic? I thought these guys were supposed to be demons. Paige: Yeah, thought so, too. But it goes to kind of support the theory that Wyatt's creating them. Piper: Oh, for crying out loud! Paige: I'm just saying. (The phone rings.) Piper: Oh, this is ridiculous. We can't live like this. It's crazy. (She goes to the desk.) Paige: Where you going? (Piper takes out a notepad and pen.) Piper: I'm going to figure out if Wyatt is behind this once and for all. [Scene: Wyatt's bedroom. Leo puts Wyatt down in his bed.] Leo: Ohh, big guy. You okay, buddy? (Wyatt's silent. Leo goes over to Chris in his crib. Vicus is by Wyatt.) Vicus: Hey, Wyatt. I promised I'd be back, didn't I? (Wyatt smiles.) Wyatt: Yeah. Leo: Wyatt? (He walks over to him. Vicus puts a finger over his lips.) Vicus: Shh! Remember... I'm a secret, right? (Wyatt smiles and laughs.) Hey, I really like your teddy bear. Maybe you'll let me hold him someday, huh? I've got a great surprise for both of you. (Wyatt smiles and laughs.) [Cut to Conservatory. Piper is writing a spell.] Piper: Shoot. What rhymes with communicate? Paige: Are you sure this is a good idea? Piper: Of course I'm sure. Paige: But what about the whole personal gain thing? Piper: Wyatt created a demon who kidnapped him and a dragon that nearly destroyed the city. I'm not really worried about personal gain. (Paige sighs.) Paige: I know. I guess just cause I'm Whitelighter now, have to think of these things, right? Piper: Besides, we're casting it on ourselves so we can try to understand what he's not telling us. So if I switch this and I leave that... okay. "Help this mother and understand The thoughts inside her little man Though his mouth be quiet. Let us hear his inner Wyatt." (A young man appears in white orbs.) Young Man: Mom? It's me... Wyatt. (Piper's jaw drops. Future Wyatt smiles.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Manor, Conservatory. Future Wyatt hugs Piper.] Future Wyatt: Wow! Mom, look at you! You look great! Piper: Right. Okay. Future Wyatt: Looks like you're as surprised to see me as I am to be back. Piper: Yeah. Paige: Back from where? Future Wyatt: The future. (Piper groans.) Piper: Oh, no! No, no, no! We wanted to communicate with you-I mean the younger you, the two and a half year-old you. Future Wyatt: Well, if there's one thing you guys taught me, magic may work in mysterious ways, but it always works. Paige: Where'd you hear that? That's nice. Future Wyatt: I'm surprised to hear you ask. In the future you're always telling me that. Paige: Oh! Well, that's the future me. I'm me now who clearly doesn't have those kind of brilliant thoughts. Future Wyatt: Right. Look, all I'm saying is if your spell brought me here, there's gotta be a good reason. Piper: Well, I don't know. Do you remember anything about what you were going through when you were 2 ? Future Wyatt: No, not really. Piper: So then we're still looking for that reason. Future Wyatt: But still this is a fantastic opportunity that magic's brought us. I mean, for me to see the past and for you guys to learn about the future. (He starts looking around the manor.) Piper: Oh, no, no. No, no, no. We don't want to know anything about the future. We don't want to risk changing it again. Future Wyatt: Again? Paige: Don't ask. Future Wyatt: Okay. But until we find out why magic brought me back, we could at least try and enjoy the moment, right? Piper: How did you become such an optimist? Future Wyatt: From you, mom. (Future Wyatt walks away. Paige scoffs a laugh and nudges Piper.) Paige: You must've turned over a new leaf in the future. Piper: Don't count on it. So that doesn't help us with our Wyatt. (Paige nods.) Paige: No. (The front door opens and closes.) Phoebe: Piper, you home? (She rushes over.) Okay, the professor gave me some information that I think will be useful-who is he? Future Wyatt: Aunt Phoebe, it's me! Wyatt! Phoebe: Wy-what? (He hugs her.) Oh! Future Wyatt: This is so amazing! Phoebe: What, did a spell backfire? Paige: How'd you guess? Phoebe: Yeah. Piper: Yeah, well, you know. What did your professor say? Phoebe: Well, she said that he probably was talking to an imaginary friend. I mean not-not you. You know, the other you when you were...this is gonna be so confusing. Future Wyatt: You'll get used to it. Paige: Okay, imaginary friends. Ring any bells for you? Future Wyatt: I'm afraid not. Phoebe: She also said that he's a little young for an imaginary friend. Again, not you, just... Future Wyatt: I got it. Phoebe: Right. (The Elders' jingling. Paige groans and speaks another language.) Paige: Sorry. Phoebe: What language is that? Future Wyatt: Maori. Your New Zealand charge, right? I remember hearing about him. Paige: Yes, well, he can wait, because I think this is a little bit more important. Future Wyatt: I thought you said there was nothing more important than your charges? Paige: Look, mister, I'm pulling double duty here, okay? So no guilt from the future for me. Piper: Okay, you know what? Can we focus on helping him, please? Future Wyatt: Look, all I'm saying is that 'someone' always told me that Whitelighters are the glue that keeps the magic world working. Phoebe: Oh, Paige told you that? (Piper smiles.) Paige: Don't be so surprised. Do I ever have a life in the future? Future Wyatt: You should go, really. We'll figure this out. (Paige says something in Maroi and orbs out.) Future Wyatt: Okay. So you guys cast a spell to communicate with me, right? So let's go talk to me. (Future Wyatt heads upstairs.) [Cut to upstairs hallway. Leo is carrying Chris. Future Wyatt turns the corner.] Future Wyatt: Dad! Hey, look at you! You have haven't changed a bit! Maybe a little less gray and few pounds lighter. Leo: What? Phoebe: Future son. Future Wyatt: Hey, is this Chris? Oh, my gosh! He's so small. Hey, little brother. Is this before of after he swallowed the marble? Piper: Marble? What marble? Phoebe: Easy on the future information. Future Wyatt: Of course, you're right. Piper: No, but really, what marble? Leo: You want to explain what's going on? Future Wyatt: Apparently they brought me here to figure out what's wrong with me. Is that still my room? (He points and leaves.) Leo: Explain. [Cut to Wyatt's bedroom. Vicus is talking to Wyatt.] Vicus: If you let me see Mr. Bear, I will give him right back, I promise. (Future Wyatt enters.) Future Wyatt: Hey, don't I know you? (Vicus stands up.) You look familiar. Vicus: Wait. You can see me? Future Wyatt: What do you mean? Of course I can. Piper: Wyatt? (Vicus disappears.) Who are you talking to? (Piper, Phoebe, and Leo enter.) What's going on? Future Wyatt: That man, you didn't see him? Phoebe: See who? Future Wyatt: He was just there talking to...me. Leo: Me? What, do you mean you or him? Future Wyatt: Both. [Scene: Underworld, Vicus' lair. Vicus and Hugo are talking.] Vicus: The boy was just starting to trust me. He was about to give me the bear. Where did this other witch come from? Hugo: What other witch? Vicus: The one who saw me. Now how is that possible? Hugo: It doesn't matter. They know you now. I told you this was going to be too dangerous. Vicus: I made it so that only Wyatt could see me. Hugo: Well, then they must've found a way through your powers. Vicus: No. No, this witch who saw me seemed surprised. But still, he thought he knew me. And his name was Wyatt, too. We may have an opportunity here. Hugo: I don't follow. Vicus: Don't you see? If I made it so that only Wyatt can see me, then that means this other witch must be Wyatt, too. They conjured him from the future. An older Wyatt, a good Wyatt. Hugo: But doesn't that make it worse? If this future Wyatt is good, then that means you never infect the boy. (Vicus begins to leave.) Vicus: Gather the collective. We need to attack now. Distract the sisters with everything you've got. Hugo: What do you plan to do? Vicus: I'm gonna get the boy to give me that bear. With it, I'll finally turn him, and then I'll watch the future change before my very eyes. (Vicus disappears.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Manor, Attic. Piper enters and goes to the Book of Shadows. Phoebe and Future Wyatt follow.] Piper: I know a demon when I see one, and that was a demon. Future Wyatt: But you didn't actually see him. Piper: Well, okay. Some creepy, invisible guy standing over my son, I'd say that's a demon. Future Wyatt: I know how it sounds, mom. But I'm telling you. It just didn't seem like a demon. It wasn't threatening at all. Phoebe: Maybe it was an imaginary friend. Piper: No. Imaginary friends are imaginary, hence, the name. Plus, you said he's too young to have an imaginary friend, remember? He's two. Future Wyatt: Actually, I'm 25. But I-I know what you mean. Piper: Look, you just...you don't have any idea how much we've already been through just to make sure that you turn out okay. Future Wyatt: Mom, I know exactly what you went through, and it's all gonna work out. The fact that I'm standing here in front of you right now happy and healthy should tell you that. Piper: Okay, fine. Then you won't mind IDing the demon so we can keep you happy and healthy. (Future Wyatt is about to argue.) Don't make me ground you. Future Wyatt: All right. (He walks over to the Book.) Phoebe: So...just out of curiosity, uh, do you have any cousins in the future? Piper: (to Wyatt) No. Don't answer that. Nice try. Future Wyatt: Wait a sec. I think you're right. He is a demon. Piper: "Vicus is a demon who prays on children turning them down the path of evil." (Hugo and two demons shimmer in. He has a whip and cracks it at the book. Piper dives to the side and the stand explodes. Female demon throws a glass orb at Phoebe and Future Wyatt. They duck.) [Cut to kitchen. Leo is feeding Chris. He hears the fight.] Leo: Okay. (He puts Chris in the playpen.) Okay, buddy. Daddy's gotta go check on mommy, okay? I'll be right back. (To Wyatt) All right. You stay here, okay? (He leaves. Vicus appears.) Vicus: I'll never leave you, Wyatt. I'll always be here. I promise. Now show me that you believe me. Let me see your teddy bear just for a second. Then I'll give you both a big surprise. (Wyatt hugs his teddy bear.) [Cut to dining room. Leo lingers by the stairs.] [Cut to attic. Piper hides behind a bookshelf. She spots female demon running and tries to blow her up, but she falls on the couch. Hugo cracks the whip around Piper's ankles and pulls her down. Phoebe hides behind a table and sees an energy ball thrown at her. The table explodes and Future Wyatt steps out.] Future Wyatt: (powerful) Enough! (The demons stop.) Leave my family alone. (He raises his hand and a power sweeps the room, turning the demons to ash.) Leo: Everything all right up there? Piper: Oh yeah. We're fine. [Cut to kitchen. Leo sees Wyatt's teddy bear floating.] Leo: Wyatt, what's going on? Piper! (Vicus has the teddy bear.) Vicus: Good. (He waves his hand over it. It glows red.) Leo: Don't touch it. (Wyatt takes the teddy bear. Future Wyatt orbs in.) Future Wyatt: Dad, what happened? (He changes to evil Wyatt. Vicus smiles. Piper and Phoebe enter.) Piper: Wyatt, what happened to you? Future Wyatt: (To Vicus) Who are you? Phoebe: Who's who? Piper: Who's he talking to? Leo: The demon. Vicus: Follow me. (Vicus vanishes. Future Wyatt orbs out.) [Scene: Underworld, Vicus' lair. Future Wyatt and Vicus are there.] Future Wyatt: Ah. I just feel so free. I can't believe I spent a whole other lifetime weighed down by the repressive morality by all that good. Vicus: Well, I'd like to give that feeling to more good witches...with your help. Future Wyatt: One thing I don't understand, though, is why do you hole yourselves up in this dank lair? It's so depressing. Vicus: Perhaps. But it's safer. Down here, good doesn't dare attack us. Future Wyatt: Yeah, well, the future of evil is above ground. Trust me. We shouldn't be hiding when we have the power to take their world if we wanted. Vicus: There'll be plenty of time for conquering later. For now, there's still the matter of your family. They'll want to change you back. Future Wyatt: I know. I also know that soon they'll find a way to scry for our location. Vicus: Then we must attack them before they do. Future Wyatt: No. We want them to find us. I know them all too well. It's too risky to fight them at the manor. But here, we'll have the advantage. Because we'll be waiting for them. Vicus: You would kill your own family? Future Wyatt: Watch me. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Manor, Kitchen.] Piper: Are you telling me that our child is evil again? Leo: Look, all I'm saying is that however he changed future Wyatt, it started with the bear, okay? He cursed it somehow. He-he made it glow. Phoebe: Okay, then we need to get that bear away from him. Can I have this? (She takes the bear.) Thank you. Okay. (Little Wyatt orbs the bear back.) Piper: Phoebe, don't make him angry. Leo: Look, we need to act fast, okay? We need to find a way to reverse the curse before future Wyatt does something evil. I think we should take him to magic school. I think he'd be safer there. (He removes the high chair table.) Phoebe: That's a good idea, and take the book with you. There may be something in there that can help. Piper: What are you gonna do? Phoebe: I'm gonna get Paige and see if we can find Vicus. Maybe if we vanquish him, all of this will go away. (Leo picks Wyatt up.) Piper: And if neither one of those works? Phoebe: Then we're screwed. (She leaves.) Paige! [Scene: Manor, Attic. Phoebe scoops up some demon ash and puts it in a small bowl table. Paige is making a potion.] Phoebe: Luckily, we have enough demon ash that we should be able to scry for Vicus' lair. (She dips the crystal in the ash.) Paige: Yeah. I wish I was a little bit more confident in this potion. Phoebe: What do you mean? Paige: It's fine for the demon. But what about Wyatt? Phoebe: Well, we're not gonna fight Wyatt. (She starts scrying.) Paige: But we might not have a choice. Because he's on the demon's side. Phoebe: I don't think he'd try to kill us. Paige: And how can you be so sure? (Phoebe sighs.) Phoebe: I can't. But you know what? If Piper can't change Wyatt back, then we're gonna have to vanquish the demon and hope that that does it. Paige: And of course, we have the added problem of not even being able to see the demon. Only Wyatt can see Vicus. Phoebe: We're just gonna have to bring a lot of vials. Paige: And what, just throw them everywhere and hope we hit something? Phoebe: Yeah. You have a better idea? Paige: Normally, yes. But sadly, this time, no. (The crystal hits.) Phoebe: Oh. I got him. Okay, better start filling those vials. (Paige nods.) [Scene: Magic School. Leo enters with a cart full of books. Piper sits at a table with Wyatt, who's playing with his toys. Piper reaches for the bear.] Piper: Oh, thank you. (Wyatt pulls the bear away.) Sweetie, why don't you let mommy see the bear? Come on, why do you want that silly bear anyway? Look it. Come on. Leo: I don't think you're gonna convince him like that. Piper: I just don't get it. I mean...he seems as sweet as ever. (Piper smiles at Wyatt.) Leo: Of course, he does. (Piper gets up.) Piper: So can you tell me how this boy turns into the future of all evil? Leo: It's not us as parents. Piper: Yeah, you can say that as much as you want. But it's gotta be. (Leo picks up a book.) Leo: No, I-I found a reference on cursed objects changing children in incremental degrees over time. Piper: He's two. How much could he really have changed? Leo: Not much. But if he keeps in this direction, the next 25 years, he can be pretty far off path. He will become the young man we saw. Piper: This is ridiculous. (She and Leo sit.) I mean, if it's all use of that stupid bear, then there's gotta be a magical way around it. A way to change it. A way to change him. Leo: Right. Of course. Piper: Right. Of course. But what? (Leo sighs.) Leo: It's...just that curses are difficult. Often times, it's how it came about that's more important than the magic itself. Piper: Okay, well, we'll figure out the why later. But right now, we need to fix this. [Scene: Underworld, Vicus' lair. Future Wyatt has his eyes closed.] Vicus: How much longer are we going to wait? Future Wyatt: Patience. Scrying takes time. And there's the vanquishing potion that'll keep my aunts busy for at least an hour. Vicus: Vanquishing potion? You never said anything about that. Future Wyatt: What? Do you expect they're just gonna show up empty handed? Come on. It's not gonna be that easy. Vicus: I don't like this. Future Wyatt: Stop worrying. The rest of the collective is just a shimmer away. And besides, my aunts won't be able to see you when you're cloaked. (He smiles.) Wait. They're coming. (Paige and Phoebe orb in.) Have any trouble finding the place? Phoebe: Where's Vicus? Future Wyatt: Around. But you should be worried about me. Paige: Look, we just wanna help you. Future Wyatt: What makes you think I want your help? Phoebe: Because we know you, and we know you're good. Future Wyatt: That's a lot of potions you got there. I thought you thought I was good. Phoebe: These are for Vicus. As soon as we get rid of him, all of this will be over. Future Wyatt: Good luck finding him. (Paige nods. They start throwing potions. Vicus smiles.) Man, you girls are way off. Phoebe: We have lots more potions. Future Wyatt: Maybe I can help you out. (He makes Vicus visible.) Vicus: What are you doing? Future Wyatt: Making a point. (To his aunts) Go ahead, vanquish him. Vicus: What? (Paige vanquishes him.) Future Wyatt: So you thought you'd change me back, did you? Phoebe: Why didn't that work? Future Wyatt: Because I'm not under any spell. And you can't just change me back by simply vanquishing Vicus. He still got to me. And this is how evil grows over the years. But first, this should keep you busy for a while. (He summons demons. They surround the girls.) These are the ones that killed Vicus. Have fun. (He's about to go.) Oh, and... (He telekinetically throws Phoebe away.) No orbing, Aunt Paige.. (He orbs out.) [Scene: Magic School. Wyatt still plays with his toys.] Leo: Try it. Piper: "Evil taints what was once held dear, Remove this curse away from here." Leo: Well, I guess we'll just try another one. Piper: It's not gonna work, just like the last fifteen spells didn't work. Nothing's gonna change that damn bear. Leo: Well, we can't just give up. Piper: What if it's not just the bear? What if the problem is Wyatt? Leo: You can't think like that, Piper. Piper: Why not? I mean, we try and make the right decisions, and we try and keep him away from bad influences. But ultimately, he's his own person. We can't control him forever. Leo: And we shouldn't try. (She sighs.) Look, all you can do is try to be a good influence on him. Piper: And then a demon comes in right under our noses and changes him completely. Leo: Okay, well, we knew something was wrong with Wyatt earlier. We sensed it. We tried to do something about it. That's the best you can hope for as a parent. Piper: Or we can try another spell. Leo: You know, maybe that's the problem. We're just trying another spell. Piper: So? Leo: So why didn't the demon do that? He didn't just appear today. I mean, what kept him from taking the bear and cursing it if it was that simple? Piper: I don't know. Leo: You know, maybe because he needed something else from Wyatt...and not just the bear. But his trust. (Future Wyatt appears.) Future Wyatt: Mom. Dad. Piper: How'd he get in here? Future Wyatt: I'm still a Halliwell, aren't I? I always hated this place. Leo: What do you want? Future Wyatt: What do you think I want? Young me, to make sure you don't screw me up again trying to turn me good. Piper: Well, I hate to break it to you. But you don't really have a choice in that matter. Future Wyatt: What are you gonna do, mom? Kill me in order to protect me? Piper: It's a thought. Future Wyatt: You always said spanking was barbaric. (Piper throws out her hands and sends him flying across the room.) Ouch. That hurt. (He stands up.) Seriously never had you pegged as the type of parent who'd hit your kids. (He orbs across the room.) Piper: You stay away from him. Future Wyatt: Should I stay away from this, too? Leo: You can't touch it. Future Wyatt: Why not? It's my magical inheritance, isn't it? (He tries to touch it, but it resists him.) Leo: You're evil now. (Future Wyatt orbs Wyatt to him.) Piper: Let go of him. (Future Wyatt kneels down.) Future Wyatt: Don't wait up for me. (They orb out.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Manor, Conservatory. Leo helps bandage Phoebe. Paige paces the floor.] Phoebe: We were lucky to get out of there alive. Ow! Leo: Sorry. Paige: We weren't lucky. Wyatt wanted us distracted for long enough to grab Wyatt. (Piper is scrying.) Piper: So now that he has him, what is he gonna do with him? Leo: He wants to take him back to the future so we can't change them both back to good. That's why he wanted the Book of Shadows. Phoebe: He's gonna figure out a way to get that Book. My nephew is very resourceful. (The crystal drops.) Piper: Found him. Let's go. Leo: Whoa. You can't just go right to him. He's gonna be expecting that. Piper: So? I can't just sit here and let my son corrupt himself. Phoebe: Yeah, but that was way too easy. It's gotta be a trap. Paige: Well, whatever we do, we have to be smart about it. Cause Wyatt is very powerful, and we're gonna get one shot at this. Phoebe: Well, we know what his next move is gonna be. He's gonna go after the book. So maybe we should set a trap for him. Leo: Well, he's not gonna attack you guys here. He doesn't want to have to fight you. Piper: But you said if we go to him, he'll be expecting it. Leo: He will, which is why I agree with Phoebe. We should set a trap. Only I'll be the one waiting for him, not you. Piper: Leo, you don't have any powers to fight him with. Leo: Which is why he won't sense me as a threat. Any one of you guys are here, he's not gonna show up. Paige: Fine. So you get him here. What exactly are you gonna do? Leo: Well, the demon needed Wyatt to trust him, right, to hand over the bear willingly? I just need him to give it back. Piper: Leo, I... Leo: Look, I may not have any powers, but I'm not powerless. I'm his father. He's not gonna hurt me. Phoebe: No? Ever read Hamlet? Leo: Hamlet killed his stepfather. Phoebe: Close enough. Freud says that according... Piper: Woman, can it! Leo: Look, it's the only way it can happen, Piper. You know it. (Piper sighs.) Paige: All right. Well, any sign of trouble, you call, all right? Cause we're just an orb away. (Leo nods. Piper stands up.) Piper: Be careful. Leo: I will be. (They orb out. Leo picks up the book.) [Scene: Manor, Attic. Future Wyatt orbs in with Wyatt.] Future Wyatt: You see that book over there? I want you to bring it to me. Understand? (Wyatt goes. Leo steps over.) Come on, dad. You don't even have any powers. Leo: That's right. I don't. Future Wyatt: So what are you gonna do? Take away my car keys? Leo: I don't need to do anything. You're gonna stop yourself. Future Wyatt: That's what I always loved about you, dad. Such a boundless optimist. Leo: I know you. I'm your father. And I know you still have good in your heart. Future Wyatt: Now your optimism just sounds pathetic. (Leo chuckles.) Leo: You know how I know that? Because this child right here still has good in his soul. Isn't that right, Wyatt? Future Wyatt: Get the book, Wyatt. Now. (Leo kneels down.) Leo: Okay, you don't have to Wyatt. You can come over here to me if you want. Future Wyatt: Dad, seriously, I don't want to have to hurt you, but if you get in my way... Leo: I don't believe that. You mind if I come over there for a second, Wyatt? (He moves closer.) Future Wyatt: Stay away from him. Leo: Is this your Wuvey? Could I see him, please? Future Wyatt: Get away from him now, or I'll kill you. (Leo stands up.) Leo: I don't think you will. Future Wyatt: I told you to stop. Leo: Look, I was there when you were born, Wyatt. I gave up my powers for you. I tried to change the world for you...and I would do it again in a heartbeat. You know why? Because I'm your father. Future Wyatt: Stop it. Leo: You want to kill me? Go ahead. I gave up my life for you before. Future Wyatt: Dad, please... Leo: Look, I love you. Do you understand what that means? (Future Wyatt closes his eyes. Leo bends down.) Wyatt, can I see Wuvey just for one second? I promise I'll give him back to you. You can trust me. (Future Wyatt opens his eyes. Wyatt gives Leo his teddy bear. It glows gold.) Thank you. (He gives Wyatt the teddy bear. Future Wyatt turns to good. Leo stands up.) Future Wyatt: Dad? What did you...what happened? (Leo hugs Future Wyatt.) [Scene: Berkley. Professor Slotkin comes to Phoebe.] Professor Slotkin: Ms. Halliwell. Got a moment? Phoebe: Yeah. Professor Slotkin: I had a chance to look over your paper on childhood imaginary friends. Phoebe: Yeah. And let me guess. You found it to be a shallow, pop psych examination on the subject? Professor Slotkin: Hardly. (She gives Phoebe her paper.) Phoebe: An a-minus? Wow. Really? Professor Slotkin: Well, your use of Kolberg's moral stages was a bit of a stretch, but overall, quite insightful. Phoebe: Thanks. Professor Slotkin: I especially liked your supposition that the impact of an imaginary friend can actually last well into adulthood. I found that fascinating. Phoebe: So do I. Uh, I have to go. I have to go home and see my nephew off. Professor Slotkin: Off? I thought you said he was two. Phoebe: No. This is a different nephew. Actually, he's older, and he lives really far away. But I'm late. Professor Slotkin: Um, before you go, I-I just wanted to apologize. I prejudged you as a fraud, and you are clearly anything but. I look forward to reading your next paper. And to your next column. Phoebe: Thanks. (They shake hands.) Professor Slotkin: You're welcome. (Phoebe leaves.) [Scene: Manor, Conservatory. Phoebe plays with Wyatt while Piper paces. Leo stands next to Future Wyatt.] Piper: Please tell me Paige is more punctual in the future. Future Wyatt: I thought you didn't want any knowledge of the future. Piper: Well, a little wouldn't hurt. Leo: Piper. Piper: What? It's not gonna change anything, aside from my being constantly irritated. (Paige orbs in and speaks Maori.) Paige: (in English) That's sorry in Maori. Do I ever get the hang of this in the future? (He laughs.) What? What's so funny? Future Wyatt: Nothing. It's just...who do you think teaches me to be a Whitelighter? Paige: Me? Future Wyatt: Well, I guess I better get going. Not that it matters with time travel and all, but...just to be safe. Aunt Paige? Thanks for everything you're about to do for me. (He hugs Paige.) Paige: Oh, well, you're welcome, I think. Future Wyatt: Dad... (They shake hands.) Thanks for not giving up on me. (They hug.) Leo: You can count on it. Future Wyatt: Aunt Phoebe, I think you should hold onto that imaginary friend's paper of yours. Phoebe: Why? Future Wyatt: For my little cousin. (He hugs Phoebe.) Phoebe: Mm... bye. Future Wyatt: Bye. (To Piper) Don't worry about me so much, okay, mom? Piper: Sorry. That's the one thing that won't change. (He kisses her cheek and hugs her.) Future Wyatt: I'll see you. Piper: See you. (Future Wyatt steps away.) "A son in the future, a son in the past Seeing anew what once has passed Return him now to whence he came Right when he left, all now the same." (Future Wyatt disappears in a swirl of lights.) Wyatt: Bye. Wyatt. Look. (He picks up the red plastic fire truck.) Fire truck. (Leo smiles. They go to him.)

Posing as baby Wyatt's imaginary friend, a demon works his magic in an attempt to turn the toddler evil. When Piper decides to write a spell to understand what the toddler is saying, she accidentally brings Wyatt from 25 years in the future to the present. Things get tricky when the family discovers that future Wyatt is evil and eventually tries to squash all the good from baby Wyatt. When Leo discovers what the demon is up to, he sets out to help turn Wyatt good again.

fd_FRIENDS_08x03

fd_FRIENDS_08x03_0

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are getting ready to go on their honeymoon. Monica is entering from the bedroom.] Chandler: Hey! Babe! Aren't you excited we're going on our honeymoon? Monica: Yeah I am! Chandler: (singing) Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama... Monica: That's right. Get it out of your system while we're alone. Joey: (entering with Phoebe) Hey! Phoebe: Yeah! Have a great honeymoon! Chandler: I'd better go pack. Monica: Oh no, I already packed. The only thing I couldn't find though was your Speedo. (Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.) Chandler: A Speedo? Uh, I don't have a Speedo. I'm gonna go pack my regular long bathing suit. (Goes into the bedroom.) Rachel: (entering) Oh good you're still here! Monica: Hey! Rachel: I want to tell you to have a good honeymoon! (Hugs Monica.) Monica: Thank you. Rachel: And I also wanted you guys to know that I am telling the father today. (They all look at her expectantly) What? What? What? (Pause.) Joey: We know its Ross! Rachel: How?! How do you know? Phoebe: It was his sweater, but-Oh my God! Rachel: Oh, I so wanted Ross to know first, but I'm so relieved you guys know. Monica: This is so great! And I'm gonna be your baby's aunt! Rachel: I know! (They hug.) Phoebe: Me too! (Joins the hug.) Joey: I'm gonna be an uncle! Come here! (He joins the hug.) Rachel: (breaking the hug) You're all gonna be aunts and uncles. Monica: Yeah, but I'm the only one related by blood. Rachel: Okay. Great! So now that you guys all know you can help me. Give me some advice on how I'm gonna tell Ross! Monica: Well, what were you gonna say? Rachel: Well I was gonna tell him that I'm-I'm gonna have the baby and he can be as involved as he wants. Joey: Well that, that sounds good. Rachel: Yeah but how do I start? I mean, what's-what's the first thing that I say? (They all pause to think.) Okay great! Thanks. (She starts to leave.) Monica: Hey! Good luck! Phoebe: Yeah, bye. Joey: Bye. (Rachel exits.) Chandler: (entering) Hey, what was that all about? Monica: Well I guess there is no harm in telling you now, Rachel and Ross are gonna have a baby. Chandler: (in a high pitched voice) What?! I didn't even know that-Why didn't you tell me?! (Pause) Why am I talking like this?! Monica: I didn't think you could keep it a secret. Chandler: (in the high pitched voice) What?! (Normal voice) I am an excellent secret keeper. I have kept all of our secrets. Joey: What secrets? Chandler: Oh no-no Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper. (The girls walk away.) Joey: (whispering to Chandler) You'll tell me later? Chandler: You already know. Opening Credits [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are entering.] Phoebe: Oh, it's so romantic to send people off on their honeymoon. Joey: Y'know, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something. Phoebe: All in good time my love. All in good time. Oh shoot! I left my guitar in their apartment. Well you can let me in later. Joey: I don't have a key, they took mine to give to you. Phoebe: What?! They took mine to give to you! Joey: Why would they take away our keys? Phoebe: Maybe they don't trust us. Joey: No that's not it. They let me keep my key the last time they were out of town. Phoebe: You mean the time you broke the ketchup bottle and cleaned it up with Monica's guest towels? Joey: Hey, I washed those! Phoebe: No you didn't. Joey: Yeah that didn't sound like me. Phoebe: Well, what am I gonna do? I really need my guitar! Joey: Yeah, I have stuff in there too. Phoebe: What stuff? Joey: Monica's chicken parm! I'll take care of it. (He picks up the phone) Hey Mr. Treeger, it's Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandler's apartment. It's an emergency. (Listens) Uhh, gas leak! Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread. (Hangs up.) Ross: (entering) Hey! Phoebe: Did Rachel find you? Ross: No why? Phoebe: Oh she was looking for you. Ross: Oh well, I guess I'll catch up with her later. Phoebe: Well, she really wanted to talk to you now. Joey: Yeah, it seemed pretty important. Ross: Oh no. Phoebe: What? Ross: I think I might know what this is about. (Phoebe and Joey trade looks) Joey: Really? Ross: Yeah. Uh, uh we promised we weren't gonna tell anybody this but uh, about a month ago Rachel and I slept together. Phoebe: (deadpan) And? Ross: Wow! I thought you would be a little more shocked. Phoebe: Oh sorry. (Shocked) And?! Ross: Well, we-we said we'd just do it that one time but, but now I think she may wanna start things up again. Joey: Yeah, I don't think that's what it is. Ross: Why? What-what else could it be? Joey: Oh wow, I don't feel well. Ross: I'm telling you. I'm telling you. That's what it is. No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding. She didn't say anything to you? Phoebe: (To Joey) Maybe it's something you ate? Joey: Please, just-just, just go and talk to Rachel. Ross: Yeah, I guess I should. (Starts to leave.) Man, y'know what I have to realize? Maybe I'm just not the type of guy women can have just one night with. Y'know, they-they always seem to want a little bit more. I should remember that. (He pauses and then exits.) [Scene: The Airport Ticket Counter, Monica and Chandler are standing in line behind another couple kissing who are next in line to be served.] Ticket Agent: Next? (The kissing couple doesn't move.) Monica: They're kissing let's just go around them. Chandler: Oh honey, leave them alone, they're in love. Monica: I'm in love too! But in an orderly fashion. Ticket Agent: Next? Monica: (to the couple) Hi! Can you do that and walk? 'Cause she said, "Next." (The couple moves up to the counter.) Woman: Sorry. We didn't hear you; we're on our honeymoon. Ticket Agent: Oh, let me see what I can do. (Checks the computer) There are some first class seats available. Monica: (To Chandler) Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Let's act like we're on our honeymoon. Chandler: We are on our honeymoon. Monica: Grab my ass! Ticket Agent: Next? (They go up to the counter.) Monica: Hi, sorry. I almost didn't hear you, because y'know I'm just so in love with my new husband. We're on our honeymoon. Ticket Agent: Congratulations. Okay, Mr. Bing you'll be in 25J and Mrs. Bing you'll be in 25K. Monica: Oh no, you see we're on our honeymoon. So umm, can you do your little thing and bump us up to first class? Ticket Agent: I'm sorry, all our first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two. Monica: You see, if we'd gone around them like I said, we-She would've given us those tickets. Damnit! Chandler: 25J and K, any chance those aren't together? [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe and Joey are playing Rock 'em, Sock 'em Robots.] Joey: I still can't believe they took away my key. You trust me with yours. Phoebe: Of course I do! And I'm gonna give it back to you as soon as they're done with it at the key shining place. (They hear a knocking sound coming from the hallway and go to investigate.) Joey: What the hell is that? (They go into the hallway and see Mr. Treeger watching one of New York's bravest breakdown Monica and Chandler's door with an ax.] Joey: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Treeger, what are you doing? Mr. Treeger: You said there was a gas leak in here. Phoebe: Well why don't you use your key? Mr. Treeger: Because by the time I find it on this thing (Holds up a huge key ring with a thousand keys on it), the whole place might have exploded. If that happens at another building that I manage, people are gonna start asking questions. (To the fireman) Come on! Hurry up. (With a final swing the door gives way.) Phoebe: Oh! We could have done that. [Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.] Monica: Look at that! Look at that! They're going into the first class lounge! Do you know what they have in there? Chandler: No. Monica: Me neither! We have to get in! (She runs through the door with Chandler in tow.) Chandler: Just act like you belong. Monica: Oh my God! Oranges! Chandler: Shh! (To the guy behind the counter) Nice to see you again. (They tries to walk past him.) Airline Employee: Uh sir, may I see your tickets please? Chandler: Yes, of course. (Shows him the tickets.) Airline Employee: I'm sorry, would you move your thumb? I can't see the seat number. Chandler: Oh that's all right, I have it memorized. It's 1A. Airline Employee: (grabbing the ticket from him) Sir, this is not a first class ticket. I'm sorry. Chandler: Apology accepted. Excuse us. (They try to enter again.) Airline Employee: Sir! I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. Monica: Fine. (Starts to walk away then she runs over and grabs an orange before she exits.) Go! Go! Go! [Scene: The Hallway Outside Ross's Apartment, Ross is walking towards his apartment and sees Rachel sitting in front of the door.] Rachel: (seeing him) Hi! Ross: Hi. Rachel: Hi. (He helps her up.) Umm, I think there's something that we really need to talk about. Ross: (quietly confident) I think we do. Why don't we go inside? (They go inside.) Look uh, I know why you're here. Rachel: You do? Ross: Yeah, and to save you from any embarrassment umm, I think maybe I should talk first. Rachel: (warily) Okay. Ross: Okay. (He sits her down in a chair.) Uh, Ross and Rachel. Rachel and Ross. That's been one heck of a see-saw hasn't it? Rachel: (confused) What? Ross: I mean look, that-that one night we had was fun and...and certainly passionate, but don't you think it's better if we just stayed friends? Rachel: Seriously. What?! Ross: Okay. Okay. Y'know what? If you want to, we can do it one more time. I mean I'd-I'd be okay with that. In fact, I have some time right now. Rachel: Okay, y'know what? Can I, can I talk now? Ross: Oh sure. (He sits on the apothecary table and touches her hand.) Rachel: (touches his knee) I'm pregnant. (Ross stops.) Ross? (Ross is staring off into space.) Ross? (Ross is still frozen) Okay, whenever you're ready. (Sits back and opens her magazine.) And you're the father by the way-but you got that... [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Ross's Apartment, continued from earlier.] Rachel: (closes her magazine) Can I get you some water? Ross: I'm good. I'm good. Rachel: Ross, there is no pressure on you. Okay? I mean you can as involved as you want. (Ross nods.) Ross: Yeah, I need uh... I'm just-I don't know-I don't understand, umm, how this happened? We-we used a condom. Rachel: I know. I know, but y'know condoms only work like 97% of the time. Ross: What? What? What?!! Well they should put that on the box!!! Rachel: They do! Ross: No they don't!!! (He runs to the bedroom to check and returns with his box of condoms.) Well they should put it in huge black letters!!!! Rachel: Okay Ross come on let's just forget about the condoms. Ross: Oh well I may as well have! Rachel: Listen, y'know what? I was really freaked out too when I found out... Ross: Freaked out? Hey no, I'm not freaked out! I'm indignant! As a consumer! Rachel: Y'know what? Let's, let's talk later. Ross: No! No! I want to talk now! Okay? I-In fact, (picks up the phone) I am going to talk to the president of the condom company! Rachel: Okay, y'know maybe I should come back... (Starts to leave.) Ross: (grabs her) Shh! Shh! Shh! Rachel: (stops) Okay. Ross: (on phone) Yeah I'll press 1! (Presses one which allows Rachel to escape.) [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mr. Treeger has finished inspecting Monica and Chandler's apartment.] Mr. Treeger: I've looked everywhere. There's no gas leak. Joey: (eating) Huh. So then I can heat this up? (Goes and does so.) Mr. Treeger: Anyway uh, I'll get moving on that new door. Phoebe: Oh great! And listen, could you do us a favor and not tell Chandler and Monica about this? 'Cause y'know umm, they don't-they don't have any kids of their own and-and this door was like a child to them. Mr. Treeger: Well I'm gonna have to put on a new lock, they'll find out anyway. Phoebe: Oh no. Mr. Treeger: (measures the top of the doorframe) Whoa! This looks like an all day job, I'll have to cancel my yoga class. (Ross walks up.) Hey Ross! Ross: Hi. Mr. Treeger: Could you tell Jasmine that I won't make it to yoga class today? Ross: Sure. Mr. Treeger: Namaste. (Bows.) Ross: Namaste. (Bows.) (Treeger leaves and Ross notices the door.) Ross: Oh my God! What happened to the door?! Joey: So it's noticeable huh? Ross: Look, is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her. Phoebe: Didn't you two already talk? Ross: Yeah but uh... Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but there's something else. (Pause) Rachel's pregnant. Joey: (simultaneously) Oh my God!!! I can't believe that!! Phoebe: (simultaneously) Holy mother of God!!! Ross: With my child. Phoebe: That is brand new information!! Ross: You already know don't you? Phoebe: A little bit. Joey: How are you doing? Ross: Okay. Okay. I mean I'll be okay. It's just I don't think I handled it very well. Joey: Well, what did you say to her? Ross: Nothing. But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful. And then when I turned around she was gone. Phoebe: Oh Ross. Ross: But hey, in my defense I-I just found out condoms are like only 97% effective. Joey: (shocked) What? Ross: I gotta go find her. Joey: Whoa! Hey! Whoa!! Hold up! Are you serious?! So like 3% of the time they don't even work?! Huh? They should put that on the box! Ross: Evidently they do. Joey: What?! (Grabs his condoms from his pocket and looks.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: The Atlantis Resort, Chandler and Monica are arriving to check in, but are behind the couple from before again.] Monica: I can't believe we're here. Chandler: Oh you've got to be kidding me. Monica: What? (Monica sees the first couple and gasps.) Front Desk Clerk: As a wedding gift to you, the hotel would like to give you the honeymoon suite. Monica: No!! You have been screwing us all day! Man: Who are you? Chandler: We're you just ten seconds later! Monica: Yeah! You already got the first class tickets; you got the lounge! I mean we should get free stuff too! I mean you're not the only ones on your honeymoon! Woman: Well you can have the suite if you want. We don't care about where we stay. We're here to celebrate our love together. We don't have to get free stuff. We just want to be together. Chandler: (looks at Monica then at them) We need the stuff. [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is on the phone and Phoebe is watching him.] Joey: Hey Monica it's Joey. Listen uh, Phoebe and I smell gas comin' from your apartment. Monica: What? Are you serious?! (To Chandler) Joey smells gas! Chandler: What else is new? Joey: Yeah and we'd go check it out, but you took away our keys. Monica: Well do something! Get in there! Joey: How? I guess I could break down your door. Monica: Yeah! Do that! Joey: And-and you won't blame us for any damage? (Gives Phoebe a thumbs up.) Monica: No! (Pause) Are you doing it?! I don't hear anything! Come on! Joey: Uh, okay I'll-I'll-I'll break it down. (He hands the phone to Phoebe, gets up, picks up a chair, and starts banging it on the floor.) Phoebe: Oh hey hi, he's doing it. He's breaking down the door. (The chair breaks in half.) Okay, we're in. (She hangs up the phone.) [Scene: A doctor's office, Rachel is on an examining table with her legs in the stirrups.] Nurse: Okay Rachel, are you comfortable? Rachel: (sighs) If I said I was, would you judge me? Nurse: The doctor will be here in a minute to do your sonogram. Rachel: Okay. (The nurse exits.) Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn... (There's a knock on the door and Ross enters.) Ross: Hi! Rachel: (shocked) Hi! Ross: Uh we-we need to talk. Rachel: Uh-uh-uh, right now? Because I've kinda got an el fresco situation going on over here. Ross: Please, please I want to apologize for the way I acted earlier today. Rachel: Okay Ross that's fine, but can you please stand near my head? Ross: What? Oh yeah. (He moves next to her head.) I'm sorry. I mean I-I think I went a little crazy. I mean I was thinking about myself when I (Wanders towards Rachel's feet) really-I should have been thinking about you Rach... Rachel: Okay. Head Ross! Head Ross! Head Ross! Ross: Right! Right! I just-I want you to know that I'm going to be there through this whole thing, okay? Okay? The doctor's appointments, the uh, the Lamaze classes, uh baby-proofing the apartment-Although we could probably worry about that 'til after we get married. Rachel: What married? Ross: Well yeah, I think we should get married. Rachel: What, because that's your answer to everything? Ross: No, because that's the right thing to do. Rachel: Yeah, maybe if you're in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we? Ross: No but...but still you can't possibly do this alone. Rachel: Excuse me? Ross: Come on Rach, you can't even eat alone in a restaurant. Rachel: What?! Ross: I'm just saying if you can't eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself? Rachel: I can too eat by myself! Ross: When have you ever? Rachel: When certain people leave the table and I am not finished! Ross: Well certain other people take two hours to eat a bowl of soup! Rachel: Oh please, you inhale your food! Ross: I grew up with Monica! If you didn't eat fast you didn't eat!! Dr. Long: (entering) Am I interrupting? Rachel: Oh no Dr. Long, please come in. This is Ross, he is the father. Ross: But not the husband, because evidently she can do this alone. Dr. Long: Huh. Nice to meet you. I'll get started on this. Ross: (To Rachel, standing by her feet) I don't know why you can't admit that you need me. Rachel: I do need you! I need you to stand near my head! Dr. Long: Okay, everything looks good. Here it is on the screen. (We see Ross and Rachel looking at the screen.) Here is your uterus. And right here is your baby. Ross: Oh my God. Rachel: Wow. There it is, I see it. Dr. Long: Congratulations. I'll give you two a minute. Rachel: Okay. Ross: Thank you. (Dr. Long exits and Rachel starts to cry.) Ross: Pretty amazing huh? Rachel: I don't see it! Ross: What? What?! Rachel: I can't see it! Ross: You-you just said that you did! Rachel: I know, I lied! I didn't want her to think I was a terrible mother! I can't even see my own baby! Ross: Oh sure, come here! (Sits her up) Sure you can! Uh, look come here look, (rolls the machine closer) it's-it's-it's, it's right there (Points). Rachel: Oh. Oh, it's beautiful. I see it now. Ross: Do you really? Rachel: No, I don't see it! Ross: Come on! Come on! Here, okay-okay, you see this? (Points) This tiny thing that looks like a peanut? Rachel: Yeah. Ross: Sweetie that's it. Rachel: That's it? Well I saw that! Ohh-ohh-oh, thank you. Ross: You're welcome. Rachel: Wow! I can't believe that's our baby. Ross: Yeah, that's our baby. Closing Credits [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are there as Rachel and Ross return from the doctor's appointment.] Rachel: Hi. Joey: Hey! Phoebe: Hey! So how was the doctor? Rachel: Oh, everything went great. Phoebe: Good. Ross: Oh hey, show them the picture of your uterus. (She does so.) Phoebe: Oh. Joey: I don't see the baby. Where is it? Rachel: Oh no, I know I couldn't see it either at first, but it's right umm... (Starts to cry) Ross, I lost it again. Ross: Oh. (He takes the picture and hugs her.

Chandler and Monica are about to leave for their honeymoon as Rachel prepares to tell Ross they are having a baby. Phoebe and Joey try to get into Monica and Chandler's apartment by telling Mr. Treeger there is a gas leak. However, Treeger, who could not find the spare key, instead calls firefighters who break down the door.

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_10x20

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_10x20_0

PLANET OF THE DALEKS BY: TERRY NATION 5:50pm - 6:15pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: INT. DALEK CITY. CONTROL ROOM DOCTOR: (Whispers.) Right, let's try and get to the lower levels. TARON: Alright, Rebec. (REBEC starts to move her casing forward and the others follow but a DALEK glides forward.) FIRST DALEK: Wait! (The group stops.) FIRST DALEK: Spiridon slave workers are to report to level four immediately. Move! (Within the furs, TARON looks at the DOCTOR and then they set off. Bringing up the rear is CODAL, but he fails to spot that his booted foot is sticking out from his fur. The DALEK looks down and sees it.) FIRST DALEK: Wait - you are not Spiridons! Emergency! Emergency! Emergency! (An alarm starts to blare out.) FIRST DALEK: Do not move! (The DOCTOR throws his cloak off and shouts to CODAL.) DOCTOR: (Shouts.) The cloak, come on - over it! (The DOCTOR and CODAL thrust the cloak over the screeching DALEK.) FIRST DALEK: Alarm! Alarm! DOCTOR: (Shouts.) ... come on! (The DOCTOR helps TARON push REBEC'S DALEK casing.) FIRST DALEK: I cannot see! Vision impaired! DOCTOR: (Shouts.) Get it out! Come on! (The dash round the corner, past the sealed laboratory door and out of the control room.) FIRST DALEK: Pursue! Pursue! (A DALEK follows.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2: INT DALEK CITY. CORRIDOR (The four reach a junction in the corridor.) DOCTOR: (Shouts.) This way! (He pulls the casing round the corner with the Thals. After they have gone, two DALEKS come up in close pursuit.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3: INT. DALEK CITY. CONTROL ROOM (A DALEK presses a communications button on the main console.) DALEK: (Into intercom.) Alert! Alert! Alert! Aliens at liberty in city. Instigate condition of maximum security. Alert! Alert! alert! [SCENE_BREAK] 4: INT DALEK CITY. CORRIDOR (The DOCTOR and CODAL are running ahead as TARON pushes the casing.) DOCTOR: (Shouts.) Come on! Come on! They're right behind you! (TARON is having pushing the casing round the corner.) TARON: (Shouts.) Codal! (They all grab the unwieldy casing and pull it round another corner.) DOCTOR: (Shouts.) This way! This way! (The two DALEKS are still close behind.) FIRST DALEK: Pursue! Pursue! Alarm! Pursue! (They almost take the wrong direction but hesitate and choose the corridor taken by the DOCTOR'S party.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5: INT. DALEK CITY. CONTROL ROOM FIRST DALEK: Report. SECOND DALEK: Aliens have descended to level eight. FIRST DALEK: Seal off all levels above them. They must be driven down to the deepest levels. SECOND DALEK: I obey. [SCENE_BREAK] 6: INT DALEK CITY. CORRIDOR (The two DALEKS turn a corner. At the end of the corridor, they see the DOCTOR and TARON with the casing.) DOCTOR: (Shouts.) Out - quick! (The DALEKS fire and the casing explodes. The DALEKS glide towards the smoking remains.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7: INT DALEK CITY. ANOTHER CORRIDOR (REBEC is not dead. Carrying a bomb, she runs with the DOCTOR, TARON and CODAL towards a set of lift doors.) DOCTOR: Well, Rebec, it seems you stopped being a Dalek just in time. (She nods quietly as the lift opens.) DOCTOR: Come on, in you get. (REBEC and CODAL dive in the lift. TARON holds back, looking down the corridor.) DOCTOR: Come on, Taron, quick. (TARON and the DOCTOR enter the lift.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8: INT DALEK CITY. LIFT (The DOCTOR presses the sensor panel to close the door and send the lift downwards.) TARON: How deep are we going? DOCTOR: Down to the arsenal. CODAL: And what then? One bomb against an army of Daleks? DOCTOR: (To TARON.) He's right, you know. One bomb won't destroy them all. The most we can hope for is to stop that army getting into action. (The lift stops its descent. The DOCTOR opens the doors and they cautiously look out.) DOCTOR: (Whispers.) All clear - come on. (They walk out.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9: INT. DALEK CITY. LEVEL ZERO CORRIDOR (They walk down the corridor towards the refrigeration room. The door has not been repaired and the DOCTOR glances through the cut archway, then turns to TARON and CODAL.) DOCTOR: Look, see what you can find in the cooling chamber act as a barricade. Block off that corridor as best you can. CODAL: Right DOCTOR: I know we can't stop them but it might hold them up for a bit. TARON: Yeah. CODAL: Right. (The two men duck under the archway and enter the cooling chamber. The DOCTOR goes up to another doorway next to the one that leads into the cooling chamber. He presses the sensor opening and the door slides slowly upwards.) [SCENE_BREAK] 10: INT. DALEK CITY. ARSENAL CAVERN (The DOCTOR and REBEC looking through the opening doorway at the mass ranked of frozen DALEKS within.) DOCTOR: There you are, Rebec - the greatest Dalek invasion force ever assembled. REBEC: And with the Spiridon's power to become invisible, nothing can stop them. DOCTOR: That's about it. Right, let's go and help the others with the barricade. [SCENE_BREAK] 11: INT. DALEK CITY. LEVEL ZERO CORRIDOR (They go to TARON and CODAL as they come out of the cooling chamber with a piece of machinery to start their barricade.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12: INT. DALEK CITY. CONTROL ROOM FIRST DALEK: Report. SECOND DALEK: Message from command spacecraft. The Dalek Supreme will touch down in Spiridon shortly. He will assume total command of all operations on this planet. FIRST DALEK: Understood. SECOND DALEK: Dalek command has identified the leading alien - the one who is not a Thal. FIRST DALEK: Who is he? SECOND DALEK: He is the one known as the Doctor - the greatest enemy of the Daleks. FIRST DALEK: He has much knowledge that would be of value to us. He must be captured alive for interrogation by the Dalek Supreme. [SCENE_BREAK] 13: EXT. JUNGLE CLEARING (JO and LATEP make their way through the jungle with their bomb towards the shaft exit. Suddenly, their faces are illuminated by an orange glow and the ground starts to shake. They duck behind the shelter of some bushes and watch as a spacecraft starts to descend. Built like two co-joined flying saucers, four red flares erupt from its base as it nears the ground. It lands in a rocky bare patch within the jungle. JO and LATEP watch from their hiding place as a door in the side of the craft falls to the ground to form a ramp down which a DALEK glides. The DALEK however is very different to the others. Coloured black and gold, it has an enlarged fender and a bigger eye-stalk and dome lights. Accompanied by two standard DALEKS, it glides away from the ship and past JO and LATEP'S hiding place. The young Thal is immediately interested in observing the open ship that has been left behind whilst JO watches the DALEKS glide away.) JO: (Whispers.) I've never seen a Dalek like that before. LATEP: He's something very special - one of the supreme council. (He looks back at the ship in admiration.) LATEP: They certainly know how to build spacecraft. (JO looks at the ship and a thought strikes her.) JO: (Whispers.) Latep? Could you fly that thing? LATEP: With the help of the others - yes. JO: (Whispers.) Well then, it could take you back to Skaro. LATEP: I'd thought of that. JO: But don't you see what that means? Look, you thought that even if this mission was a successful one, that you'd be marooned here for the rest of your lives. With that, you've got a chance of getting home! LATEP: But the Daleks haven't been defeated yet - not by a long way. JO: I know, I know all that! But it gives you a chance. It gives you all something to hope for. I wish the others were here and then we could tell them about it. LATEP: I'm glad they're not. JO: But why? If they knew there was a way to escape that... LATEP: (Interrupts.) Just knowing might mean the difference between success and failure. We all thought that whatever happened, there was no way out. It was a suicide mission. That's affected everything we've done. We've faced dangers and taken risks because there was nothing to lose, Jo. JO: Would you go on taking them? LATEP: I don't know. You see, I've found a reason to be more careful - a reason for wanting to stay alive. (He looks meaningfully at her. JO hesitates, then...) JO: (Whispers.) Come on, Latep. We've still got a long way to go. (Hand in hand, they move off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14: INT. DALEK CITY. LEVEL ZERO CORRIDOR (The DOCTOR'S group finishes building the extemporaneous barricade of bits of pieces from the cooling chamber.) DOCTOR: That should hold them for a while. Rebec, stay near. At the slightest sound of the Daleks breaking through, give us plenty of warning. (To TARON and CODAL.) Come on, you two. (He leads them into the cooling chamber.) [SCENE_BREAK] 15: INT. DALEK CITY. COOLING CHAMBER (The DOCTOR goes over to the refrigeration unit with CODAL while TARON looks up the chimney shaft.) DOCTOR: (To TARON.) Any sign of Jo and Latep? TARON: No, not yet. (The DOCTOR looks at a small control panel on the refrigeration unit.) CODAL: What are you after, Doctor? DOCTOR: Blast! I was hoping there'd be a way of locking these controls into the 'on' position. As soon as this refrigeration unit is switched off, those Daleks will be on the move. CODAL: The main switches are probably in the control room. We don't want to go back there. DOCTOR: No...then we'll have to use my other plan. Come on. (They start to walk out, past where TARON is keeping a watch up the chimney shaft.) DOCTOR: Let's us know as soon as you see Jo and Latep. TARON: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] 16: INT. DALEK CITY. ARSENAL CAVERN (The DOCTOR and TARON are about to enter the arsenal, when...) REBEC: Doctor! They're trying to get through! [SCENE_BREAK] 17: INT. DALEK CITY. LEVEL ZERO CORRIDOR (The DALEKS are throwing themselves against the barricade. On the safer side...) DOCTOR: Well, it should hold them for a little while yet. Now, don't worry. (To CODAL.) Come on. (The two go into the arsenal. Despite the DOCTOR'S words, REBEC looks extremely concerned.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18: INT. DALEK CITY. CONTROL ROOM (The DALEK SUPREME and his two lieutenants glide into the control room. It glides up to a waiting DALEK.) DALEK SUPREME: Report. (When it speaks, its eye-piece as well as its dome lights illuminate.) FIRST DALEK: Aliens still at liberty. DALEK SUPREME: All Dalek units are to be assigned to their capture immediately. (It turns to one of its lieutenants.) DALEK SUPREME: Take charge of all controls. (The DALEK lieutenant turns and glides towards the control bank as the DALEK SUPREME turns back to the waiting DALEK.) DALEK SUPREME: Report on invisibility experiments. FIRST DALEK: Daleks can now achieve total invisibility for periods in excess of two work cycles. DALEK SUPREME: Satisfactory. The supreme council has ordered our army to be activated immediately. The invasion of all solar planets is to begin today. (It turns to its lieutenant at the control bank.) DALEK SUPREME: Switch on arsenal heating. Close down refrigeration unit. [SCENE_BREAK] 19: INT. DALEK CITY. COOLING CHAMBER (Waiting in the cooling chamber, TARON hears the machinery wind down as it is deactivated. He glances up the chimney shaft...) [SCENE_BREAK] 20: INT. DALEK CITY. ARSENAL CAVERN (...and then runs to the entrance to the arsenal.) TARON: Doctor! (Within the arsenal, the DOCTOR and CODAL are on a raised catwalk which runs along the edge of the cavern. Below them are the still and silent DALEKS. A cold mist hangs in the air.) DOCTOR: Yes? TARON: The refrigeration unit's been shut down. The temperature's starting to rise. DOCTOR: Thank you, Taron. (The DOCTOR joins CODAL who is examining the rock which forms the wall on the other side of the catwalk.) DOCTOR: We haven't much time. [SCENE_BREAK] 21: INT. DALEK CITY. CONTROL ROOM (The DALEK SUPREME gives another order to its lieutenant.) DALEK SUPREME: Order space transporters to assemble and await landing orders. SECOND DALEK: I obey. (The black and gold creature then turns to face the FIRST DALEK.) DALEK SUPREME: The action of the aliens has caused considerable disruption of operations on this planet. FIRST DALEK: This was a matter beyond my control! DALEK SUPREME: Your orders were to exterminate them! FIRST DALEK: (Panicking.) It has not been possible! We have been unable to use the bacteria bomb! DALEK SUPREME: The responsibility was yours! You have failed! The supreme council does not accept failure! (The DALEK SUPREME fires and the FIRST DALEK explodes.) [SCENE_BREAK] 22: EXT. JUNGLE. SHAFT EXIT (LATEP is securing a rope to some rocks at the top of the shaft.) LATEP: This should hold. (He turns to a nervous JO.) LATEP: Are you ready? (She nods without enthusiasm.) LATEP: Don't worry - we'll make it. JO: It's not so much the climb down that worries me. It's what we'll find when we get there. (LATEP smiles but he looks just as nervous.) LATEP: I'll go first. (He throws the rope down.) [SCENE_BREAK] 23: INT. DALEK CITY. LEVEL ZERO CORRIDOR (The DALEKS continue to hammer at the shaking barricade. On the other side, REBEC turns to a watching TARON.) REBEC: It won't stand much more. [SCENE_BREAK] 24: INT. DALEK CITY. ARSENAL CAVERN (CODAL is still examining the rock wall. He shouts to the DOCTOR who is further down the catwalk.) CODAL: Doctor! DOCTOR: Hello? CODAL: Take a look at this! (The DOCTOR runs over and looks at a crevice in the rock.) DOCTOR: Well it looks promising. How deep is it? CODAL: I can get my arm right inside. (He does so.) DOCTOR: Well, that's it then, although it does need a bit of clearing. (He and CODAL start to pull away small pieces of rock in the cleft.) CODAL: It's getting warmer down here. DOCTOR: Yes, the temperature has risen quite considerably. (CODAL looks over his shoulder into the main body of the cavern.) CODAL: (Nervously.) Doctor... (The DALEKS are starting to awaken. In their massed ranks, some of them are starting to glide around, although in a somewhat disorientated fashion.) DOCTOR: In a minute, they'll all be fully active. Come on. Here... (They start to pull at the rock.) [SCENE_BREAK] 25: INT. DALEK CITY. LEVEL ZERO CORRIDOR (TARON and REBEC back away from the barricade.) TARON: A couple more tries and the whole lot's coming down. Let's get out of here. [SCENE_BREAK] 26: INT. DALEK CITY. ARSENAL CAVERN (They run into the arsenal. and press the internal door sensor. There is no response.) TARON: No power left to operate the door. Come on! (They run into the main body of the arsenal. Meanwhile, the DOCTOR and CODAL step back from the slightly larger gap they have created in the rock.) DOCTOR: That should be wide enough. (TARON and REBEC run up.) TARON: Doctor, there's no sign of Jo and Latep, and they're nearly through the barricade. DOCTOR: Thank you, Taron. Look, I've got an idea that these catwalks lead to some sort of loading area on the surface. Check it out, will you? TARON: Right. (To REBEC.) Come on. (They run past the DOCTOR and CODAL and further along the catwalk.) DOCTOR: (To CODAL.) Right, get the bomb. (The bomb has been placed on the edge of the catwalk. At that moment, a shuffling DALEK knocks it with its arm, sending it falling to the main floor of the arsenal.) CODAL: The bomb! Get down! (The two men hit the floor of the catwalk but there is no explosion.) DOCTOR: Where is it? (They look over the edge and see the bomb between the base of two awakening DALEKS. The DOCTOR climbs over the rampart of the catwalk and, holding onto CODAL for support, steps onto the top of a DALEK before stepping into the lion's den. Hemmed in on all side by ever-wakening DALEKS, he tries to push through them to reach the fallen device. CODAL watches as the DOCTOR reaches out between the bases of two DALEKS and grabs the bomb by its handle. He passes it up to CODAL who then helps him climb back up out of harm's way. They crouch down and examine the bomb.) DOCTOR: Is it damaged? CODAL: The timing mechanism isn't functioning properly. DOCTOR: Can you fix it? CODAL: I think so. It'll take a minute or two. DOCTOR: Get on with it. (TARON and REBEC run back.) TARON: Doctor? Doctor, you're right. There is a power ramp - goes up to ground level. I think we can climb it. DOCTOR: Good, good. REBEC: What are you planning to do, Doctor? DOCTOR: Well, this whole area is simply honeycombed with ice tunnels. Now, a bomb, put in the right place, could so weaken those walls, the pressure of the ice would burst through the walls and flood this entire chamber. TARON: (Smiles.) Bury the lot of them? DOCTOR: That's the theory. REBEC: But it won't destroy them - just put them back into their deep frozen state of suspended animation. DOCTOR: Yes, but it would centuries to melt them out. (They hear a bang as the barricade starts to give way.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27: INT. DALEK CITY. LEVEL ZERO CORRIDOR (The DALEKS push against the remains of the barricade.) [SCENE_BREAK] 28: INT. DALEK CITY. COOLING CHAMBER (LATEP reaches the base of the shaft. Hearing the noise outside, he goes to the doorway of the cooling chamber.) [SCENE_BREAK] 29: INT. DALEK CITY. LEVEL ZERO CORRIDOR (The DALEKS continue to push the obstruction aside.) [SCENE_BREAK] 30: INT. DALEK CITY. COOLING CHAMBER (JO reaches the base of the rope. LATEP rushes back to help her down.) LATEP: You alright? JO: Yes, I think so. (He leads her to the door and they look out.) [SCENE_BREAK] 31: INT. DALEK CITY. LEVEL ZERO CORRIDOR (Very little now remains of the barricade.) [SCENE_BREAK] 32: INT. DALEK CITY. COOLING CHAMBER JO: We've got to stop them. (LATEP switches on the timer of his bomb...) [SCENE_BREAK] 33: INT. DALEK CITY. LEVEL ZERO CORRIDOR (...and throws it across the floor from the doorway to the DALEKS as they make their way past the fallen barricade. One of them fires but LATEP has ducked back. The DALEKS start to glide forward.) [SCENE_BREAK] 34: INT. DALEK CITY. COOLING CHAMBER (Within the cooling chamber, JO and LATEP lie on the floor and cover their heads.) [SCENE_BREAK] 35: INT. DALEK CITY. LEVEL ZERO CORRIDOR (Outside, the bomb explodes right in the middle of the group of DALEKS.) [SCENE_BREAK] 36: INT. DALEK CITY. COOLING CHAMBER (JO and LATEP, coughing in the smoke of the explosion, get to their feet.) [SCENE_BREAK] 37: INT. DALEK CITY. LEVEL ZERO CORRIDOR (They come out of the cooling chamber to see the smoking remains of the DALEKS. The walls are blackened with the force of the explosion and the lights have been knocked out.) JO: Come on...let's see if we can find the Doctor. (Coughing they make their way towards the arsenal as more DALEKS come up the other side of the pushed-aside barricade.) [SCENE_BREAK] 38: INT. DALEK CITY. ARSENAL CAVERN (The DOCTOR and REBEC are crouched down a s CODAL works desperately on the final bomb. REBEC sees JO and LATEP approaching.) REBEC: They're here! (The two run up and also crouch down.) LATEP: They're still coming, Doctor. JO: We did what we could though. DOCTOR: Well done, Jo. CODAL: Right - that's it. DOCTOR: Taron, you and the others get started. We'll set the bomb. TARON: Yes. Come on, you two. (JO and LATEP follow REBEC and TARON towards the exit they have found.) DOCTOR: (To CODAL.) Set it to detonate in thirty seconds. CODAL: Right. (He adjusts the timer. The DOCTOR looks out across the arsenal where the DALEKS are now much more active...) [SCENE_BREAK] 39: INT. DALEK CITY. LEVEL ZERO CORRIDOR (Two DALEK reinforcements glide past the smoking remains of their destroyed compatriots.) [SCENE_BREAK] 40: INT. DALEK CITY. ARSENAL CAVERN CODAL: Detonator running...now. (The DOCTOR takes the bomb from him and starts to push it into the crevice. CODAL looks at the doorway into the corridor.) CODAL: They're coming! (The DALEKS start to glide in.) CODAL: Hurry up, Doctor! Hurry up! DOCTOR: Off you go. (CODAL runs off after the others. The DOCTOR makes a final check on the bomb and runs off after him. CODAL has joined the other four and they are all crouched down further round the catwalk. The DALEKS are gliding up to the point where the bomb is secreted as the DOCTOR runs up and crouches down with his allies. He looks at his watch.) DOCTOR: Twenty-seven...twenty-eight... (The wall bursts outwards with a massive explosion, destroying part of the catwalk but very little else. The DOCTOR stands up and looks through the smoke. He looks utterly disappointed.) DOCTOR: It failed! (The DALEKS are now moving freely within the body of the arsenal. JO and the others stand up, similarly downhearted at their lack of success.) DOCTOR: Come on - let's get out of here. (They turn to leave when they suddenly hear a loud rumbling noise.) DOCTOR: (Shouts.) The ice volcano! (A wall of ice bursts from the cleft in rock, overwhelming the two DALEKS on the catwalk and drowning the DALEKS within the arsenal in its green icy molten sludge.) DOCTOR: (Shouts.) Out, everybody, out! (The others run as fast as they can. The DOCTOR holds back just for a moment to see the inundation pour over the DALEKS. He runs off as the creatures are covered by the ice which rises to the level of their domes and over.) [SCENE_BREAK] 41: INT. DALEK CITY. CONTROL ROOM (The only DALEKS left in the control room are the DALEK SUPREME and his two lieutenants. They look over the control bank.) FIRST DALEK: Arsenal and all lower levels inundated. Molten ice rising through all sections. SECOND DALEK: No response from any Dalek unit. Total loss of contact. DALEK SUPREME: Seal off all sections. FIRST DALEK: Not possible. Controls not responding. Total power source failure. SECOND DALEK: Sensors registering ice now advancing through upper levels! DALEK SUPREME: Advise supreme command that our attack force is totally immobilised, and that we are the only survivors. (Its eye-stalk turns and the DALEK SUPREME sees molten ice starting to run down the walls of the control room.) DALEK SUPREME: Set self-destruct on all instruments. We are abandoning! (The three DALEKS glide hurriedly from the control room.) DALEK SUPREME: We are abandoning! We are abandoning! We are abandoning! We are abandoning! [SCENE_BREAK] 42: EXT. JUNGLE CLEARING (The victorious party emerge from the jungle into the clearing where the DALEK spaceship lies.) LATEP: There it is! REBEC: We can get home - back to Skaro! TARON: It's a bonus I'd never expected! LATEP: Jo, I must speak with you. (LATEP and JO step away as CODAL turns to the DOCTOR.) CODAL: Doctor? I need to look over the controls of that ship. DOCTOR: Yes, of course. CODAL: So... (He hesitates.) CODAL: (Quietly.) You've done a lot for me, Doctor. Thank you. (He salutes him with a Thal salute - the left hand placed on the right breast.) CODAL: Thank you. (The DOCTOR returns the salute and nods. CODAL smiles and heads off for the ship.) TARON: Doctor, we'd never have succeeded without all your help. I wish there was some way of thanking you. DOCTOR: As a matter of fact, there is. REBEC: Yes, Doctor? DOCTOR: Throughout history, you Thals have always been known as one of the most peace-loving peoples in the galaxy. TARON: I hope we always will be. DOCTOR: Yes, that's what I mean. When you get back to Skaro, you'll all be national heroes. Everybody will want to hear about your adventures. TARON: (Puzzled.) Of course. DOCTOR: So be careful how you tell that story, will you? Don't glamorise it. Don't make war sound like an exciting and thrilling game. TARON: (Smiles.) I understand. DOCTOR: Tell them about the members of your mission that will not be returning - like Maro and Vaber and Marat. Tell them about the fear, otherwise your people might relish the idea of war. We don't want that. REBEC: You can depend on us. DOCTOR: Thank you, my dear. Well, you'd better get aboard, I think. (TARON looks over at JO and LATEP.) TARON: What about them? DOCTOR: I'm not sure about them. Goodbye, Rebec. (He holds out his hand. She takes him and gives him a kiss on the cheek.) REBEC: Goodbye, Doctor. (She heads for the ship. The DOCTOR holds out his hand to TARON...) DOCTOR: Taron? (...who takes it.) TARON: Goodbye, Doctor. DOCTOR: Good luck. (TARON heads for the ship. LATEP leaves JO and approaches the DOCTOR.) LATEP: Doctor, I've asked Jo to come back to Skaro with me. Would you have any objections? DOCTOR: If that what she wants - no. (LATEP turns to JO.) LATEP: Well, Jo? Is it? (She approaches him with a smile.) JO: No, I'm sorry, Latep. Look, I'm very fond of you. But, you see, I've got my own world and my own life to go back to. (She kisses him and walks away. The young Thal turns and shakes the DOCTOR'S hand.) LATEP: Thank you, Doctor. DOCTOR: Thank you, Latep. (The DOCTOR joins JO and they watch as LATEP goes up to the ship, gives a final wave back and enters. The ramp door closes behind him. With a burst of red exhaust flares, the DALEK ship takes off and rises into the Spiridon sky. As the noise and dust dies down...) DOCTOR: Right, shall we go and find the TARDIS? (JO is about to reply but sees something over the DOCTOR'S shoulder.) JO: Look! (He turns and sees the DALEK SUPREME and its two lieutenants gliding out of the jungle.) DOCTOR: Come on, run! (The dash off as the DALEKS spot them.) DALEK SUPREME: Aliens! Pursue! Pursue! [SCENE_BREAK] 43: EXT. JUNGLE (The DOCTOR and JO run desperately through the jungle but the DALEKS are never far behind.) DALEK SUPREME: Pursue! Pursue! [SCENE_BREAK] 44: EXT. JUNGLE. CLEARING OF RUINS (The DOCTOR and JO reach the pathway to the TARDIS. Immediately, the spitting plants start to eject their deadly liquids.) JO: Wait! If those spores hit us...? (The DOCTOR looks behind them.) DOCTOR: They're coming! (The DALEKS approach.) DOCTOR: Now cover your face and hands as best you can! Come on! (The two dash towards the TARDIS under a reign of fire from the plants. JO cries out.) DOCTOR: Jo, come on! Come on! (She falls to the ground but the DOCTOR drags her up and into the TARDIS as the DALEKS fire. The rays hit the ship.) [SCENE_BREAK] 45: INT. TARDIS. CONSOLE ROOM (The two run into the console room. The DOCTOR presses the switch to close the doors and then pulls the main switch. The dematerialisation noise fills the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 46: EXT. JUNGLE. CLEARING OF RUINS (The DALEKS continue to fire as the TARDIS departs, then...) DALEK SUPREME: Have supreme command send rescue craft. FIRST DALEK: I obey. DALEK SUPREME: Preparations will begin at once to free our army from the ice. We have been delayed - not defeated. The Daleks are never defeated! [SCENE_BREAK] 47: INT. TARDIS. CONSOLE ROOM (The centre column rises and falls. The DOCTOR switches on the scanner. It shows a series of star fields and then a planet.) DOCTOR: Jo? Look. (A sad JO looks up at the scanner.) DOCTOR: That's Skaro. JO: (Quietly.) Yes. DOCTOR: Any regrets? JO: (Sadly.) No, not really. DOCTOR: But Jo, that's only one little world. There's so many hundreds of others to see. (JO smiles.) JO: There's only one little world I want to see right now. (She presses a button on the console herself. The image on the scanner changes to that of a familiar looking planet.) JO: That one. DOCTOR: That one? (Puzzled.) But, Jo, that's Earth. JO: That's right, Doctor - home. (The DOCTOR smiles.) DOCTOR: Home it is, Miss Grant. (He adjusts the controls...)

The Doctor and his friends prepare to refreeze the Dalek army but the Dalek Supreme has arrived on the planet determined to destroy them all.

fd_Gilmore_Girls_03x20

fd_Gilmore_Girls_03x20_0

3.20 - Say Goodnight, Gracie teleplay by Amy Sherman-Palladino & Janet Leahy story by Amy Sherman-Palladino OPEN AT KYLE'S HOUSE [Kyle and Marshall are cleaning up litter in the front yard.] KYLE: Get the wrapper. MARSHALL: What wrapper? KYLE: The Tootsie Roll wrapper. MARSHALL: What Tootsie Roll wrapper? KYLE: The one at your feet. MARSHALL: I don't see it. KYLE: It's right there. MARSHALL: Where? KYLE: Marshall, stop arguing with me, my parents are watching. [Lorelai is waiting on the sidewalk; Rory walks out of the house with a backpack] LORELAI: Have you see these guys? They're hilarious. RORY: I got it, we can go. LORELAI: Why are you holding it like that? RORY: Because when Lane left it here last night, it was a very different color. LORELAI: Are you sure she's gonna want that back? It's been left alone all night at a keg party. There's no getting it over that. That backpack is permanently scarred. That backpack is Zelda Fitzgerald. RORY: Well, Zelda's going home. LORELAI: Okay. Your first cop-raided party. I am just so proud. RORY: Mom. LORELAI: I just wish I could've been there. RORY: It was no big deal. LORELAI: Did they bring the paddywagon? RORY: Yeah, but then we snuck out the backdoor of the speak-easy and headed straight for the Algonquin. LORELAI: How was Benchley? RORY: Drunk again. LORELAI: So tell me more about this party last night. I mean, I know the end, but what happened in the middle? RORY: Lane's band played, they were great, and then people just hung out and talked, and then, uh, there was some sort of fight, I guess. The cops came, that's it. LORELAI: Hm. [Luke walks up to the house] LORELAI: Hey, Luke. LUKE: I'm in bed. I have ten more minutes to sleep. Not a lot of time in the grand scheme of things, but still, ten minutes is ten minutes. You know what I mean. LORELAI: Sure, yeah. RORY: Ten minutes is great. LUKE: And then the phone rings, and it just rings and rings and rings and rings, so I pick it up. LORELAI: And then hopefully got your hearing checked. LUKE: Can I finish my story? LORELAI: I'm just saying, that's a lot of rings. LUKE: And on the other end of the phone is someone named John who says he's Kyle's father, and Kyle threw a party last night without permission. And two guys got into a fight and tore the place apart, so John wants me to come down and take a look at the damage and discuss some sort of solution to the problem of the damages. Now, I don't know John, and I certainly don't know Kyle, but I do know someone who would get into a fight at a party and leave the place completely trashed. It's a wild guess, but I think his name rhymes with Tess. So here I am, heading in there to talk to John about Kyle and discuss what is to be done about the Hummel. LORELAI: The what? LUKE: Exactly. [Luke walks toward the front door] LORELAI: Uh, so let's get back to the party recap. Any little details you wanna tell Mommy? RORY: Jess and Dean got into the fight. LORELAI: Over you. RORY: I was a contributing factor. LORELAI: Was anyone hurt? RORY: No. LORELAI: And that's why the cops came and broke up the party? RORY: Yes. LORELAI: So not only did you go to a cop-raided party but you started the raid? RORY: Yes. LORELAI: This fence is broken because of you, this crap is on the ground because of you. RORY: What's your point? LORELAI: [sings] Did you ever know that you're my hero? RORY: Oh my God! LORELAI: [sings] You're everything I would like to be. And I could fly higher than an eagle, 'cause you are the wind beneath my wings. [opening credits] CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN [Guests are gathered in the lobby for breakfast. Two of them walk up to Lorelai.] DENNIS: Oh, these muffins, they're brilliant. PEG: Tell us you sell your muffin mix. LORELAI: Sookie, these people wanna throw roses at your feet. SOOKIE: And I will let them. PEG: Listen, Sookie, Dennis and I and a bunch of us others wondered if you offered cooking classes. SOOKIE: Cooking classes? DENNIS: Some of the better B&B's have them on the itinerary. SOOKIE: Oh, of course they do. So, we do, too. PEG: We will be your disciples. SOOKIE: Oh my gosh, we're gonna have so much fun. We'll start with some spreads and jams, and if there's time - desserts. I have this chocolate balm. . .oh, but breads. . .and soups! LORELAI: Um, Sookie, hon, we don't have a kitchen. SOOKIE: Oh, right. PEG: There's no kitchen? SOOKIE: Okay, not a problem. You'll all come to my house. PEG: Can't wait. DENNIS: Cheers. [Lorelai and Sookie walk to the front desk] LORELAI: Uh, make a note - if the guests are gonna wear those robes downstairs, we need to buy ones with thicker material. SOOKIE: Really. LORELAI: Seeing the sunlight hit Dennis gave me a whole new respect for Peg. SOOKIE: Hey, listen, uh, Jackson's up in Rochester today helping his cousin rebuild his Nova. He's not getting home 'til late, so you know what that makes me? LORELAI: Available. SOOKIE: Like an intern. LORELAI: Oh. SOOKIE: What are you and Rory doing tonight? LORELAI: I'm open. Rory's got plans with the grandparents. SOOKIE: I didn't know you guys were back in touch. LORELAI: I'm not, Rory is. SOOKIE: Ah. LORELAI: Mmhmm, yeah. SOOKIE: Well, at least the family pressure's off you now. That's good, right? LORELAI: I don't know. I mean, before this whole Friday night dinner thing, I didn't see them regularly and we didn't talk regularly, so it wasn't weird when I didn't see them or talk to them regularly. SOOKIE: You miss them. LORELAI: No, I just feel like I'm not doing something I'm supposed to do. I feel guilty. SOOKIE: So what are you gonna do about it? LORELAI: I'm gonna hope it passes. SOOKIE: Sounds healthy. CUT TO CHURCH [The priest is leading a service at the front of the room. Rory walks in with Lane's backpack and takes it to Lane, who is sitting at a table at the back of the church] PRIEST: Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are they. . . RORY: Hey. LANE: Hi. RORY: So, how are you? How were things last night? LANE: You mean, after my drunken call to my mother? RORY: Yeah. What happened when you got home? LANE: I'm not sure. RORY: What do you mean you're not sure? LANE: Well, after I finished with my Farelly brothers' audition in the bushes - thank you for the hair-holding, by the way. RORY: Anytime. LANE: Dave dropped me off at home. He wanted to come in, but he's an only child and I saw no reason for his family line to end with him, so I went in and he left. RORY: And? LANE: The place was dark. RORY: No Mrs. Kim? LANE: No Mrs. Kim. RORY: No Mrs. Kim. LANE: So, of course, I panicked. What does this mean? I mean, when I come home ten minutes late from bible study, she has a cow. But I call her drunk, tell her I'm at a party, I'm a drummer in a band, and I'm in love with a non-Korean. . .I expected there to be backup - aunts, uncles, cousins pulled out from villages I've never heard of, but nothing. RORY: I don't understand. LANE: So I go upstairs to make sure everything's okay. I look in her room and she's in bed asleep. RORY: No. LANE: Then this morning, I get up, I go in the kitchen where she's making breakfast and I say, "Good morning, Mama." RORY: And? LANE: She turns around, looks right at me and says, "Good morning, Lane." RORY: Really? LANE: And those were the last words she's said to me all day. RORY: So she's freezing you out? LANE: No, it was more Stepford than cold. You know, very calm, very serene. RORY: Okay, well, let's think. Maybe she didn't hear you. LANE: I was drunk, I could've slurred. RORY: Exactly. Maybe she thought you said you were at a smarty, playing clock music, drinking fear, and in love with Rave Smitchalsky. LANE: And how would that be better? RORY: It's much less clear. LANE: What is that smell? RORY: Your backpack. PRIEST: Blessed are they which are pers - [The priest sees the rabbi at the back of the church gesturing for him to speed things up.] PRIEST: [speaks quickly] Uh, blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs are the Kingdom of Heaven. RORY: You have to talk to her, Lane. LANE: I can't talk to her. RORY: Well, what are you going to do? LANE: Well, first off, I volunteered to work this table for the next two months. Plus, I told her I'd go to that Seventh Day Adventist college in Hartford and live at home. RORY: Lane, no. LANE: And I told Dave to forget about the prom. There's no way that's gonna happen. RORY: I'm sorry. LANE: Don't be, it's my fault. [The rabbi enters with a group of people] PRIEST: And utter every kind of evil against you falsely because of me, Amen. Okay, let's go. Sorry, David. RABBI: No problem, Archie. [The priest leaves, the rabbi starts his service.] CUT TO LUKE'S DINER [Jess rushes around the crowded diner serving people] WOMAN: Excuse me, I'd like some ham. JESS: Be right back. WOMAN: But I'd like some ham! [Jess delivers a plate to a table] MAN 1: Is this what I ordered? JESS: Yes. [walks to the table by the door] Know what you want yet? MAN 2: Oh, uh, no, not yet. JESS: You know what might help? MAN 2: What? JESS: Opening the menu. MAN 2: Yes, thank you for the tip. [Jess walks to the counter] JESS: I need ham. CAESAR: No ham. JESS: We got a shipment of ham yesterday. CAESAR: No ham. JESS: Caesar, there's a lady over there that has been saying she wants ham for the last twenty minutes and if I go back there empty handed, there's a fifty-fifty chance that she will eat me. CAESAR: No ham. JESS: Then sew some bacon together 'cause that woman is getting ham. [Jess picks up a plate and walks toward the tables] MAN 1: Excuse me, I don't think this is what I. . .[Jess exchanges his plate with the one he's carrying] Thank you. JESS: [holds up the plate] Who ordered this? Look in front of you. If there is nothing there and there should be, then this is yours. KIRK: Oh, here. [Jess gives Kirk the plate, then walks back over to the man at the table by the door] JESS: Well? MAN 2: What? JESS: You know what you want yet? MAN 2: I'll just have more coffee. JESS: More coffee coming up. Glad to make your dining dreams come true. [Taylor walks in] TAYLOR: [sings] "Oh, who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew. Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two, the candy man. Oh, the candy man can!" Yes, that's right, the candy man can 'cause he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good, and I, ladies and gentlemen, am the candy man. Your candy man. I'm mixing it with love and making Stars Hollow taste good. JESS: Move. TAYLOR: Uh, in a second Jess. Give him a taffy. I come to announce to one and all that the day we all thought would never get here has arrived. KIRK: Arbor Day? TAYLOR: No. KIRK: The Day of Reckoning? TAYLOR: No KIRK: The day the music died? TAYLOR: Kirk. KIRK: Give me a taffy. TAYLOR: What? KIRK: I've got a million of 'em. Give me a taffy! TAYLOR: As I was saying, the big day has arrived. The opening of Taylor's Old Fashioned Soda Shoppe and Candy Store! Tomorrow from noon to six, there will be fun, balloons, ice cream, and old fashioned penny candy for just one dollar a piece. Come at noon, stay all day. . . [Luke walks in] JESS: Where the hell have you been? The place is a freaking zoo. Every table's full and I've got Sammy Davis Jr. here thinking it's the Desert Inn. LUKE: I had to run an errand. JESS: Everybody's complaining, we're out of ham, Caesar's suddenly decided to join the Slow Food Movement, and I've got a guy who's moved in at a table for four. He just sits, making it impossible for me to turn over that table, and if I can't turn over that table, then that cuts way back on my tips. LUKE: I'm sorry, don't you mean my tips? JESS: What? LUKE: You know where I was this morning? JESS: No. LUKE: I was at Kyle's. His parents called me this morning. JESS: Oh, yeah? LUKE: Seems a little party you went to last night got a little Animal House, huh? JESS: Dean started it. LUKE: Oh, you're not really gonna use that one, are you? JESS: Well, he did. He sucker punched me and I was just defending myself. LUKE: Oh, apparently you defended yourself all the way through the house and out into the front yard. You defended yourself with a chair that is now broken. You defended yourself with a coffee table. You defended yourself with an ottoman. JESS: I don't need a recap. LUKE: Do you have any idea how much damage you caused? JESS: Dean caused it, too. LUKE: The place was trashed. JESS: Dean trashed it, too. LUKE: Are you trying to kill me? JESS: Nope, it'll just be a perk. LUKE: Okay, well, here's the deal. From now on, every cent that you make here goes toward paying them back. JESS: Hey, what about - LUKE: Dean's paying them back also. JESS: How do you know? LUKE: Because he was at Kyle's house when I got there. JESS: You're kidding me. LUKE: He had already worked out a financial agreement with the parents and was helping them put a fence back up. JESS: Man, he's gonna make some woman a fine doormat someday. LUKE: You are making good on this, Jess. JESS: I have to get more coffee out of the store room. LUKE: Every cent is getting paid back. I never want those people calling me again. [The man at the table by the door gets up and leaves. Luke notices that the man left his wallet on the table. Luke picks it up, then walks out the door to catch him] LUKE: Hey, you left your wallet! Hey! [Luke opens the wallet and checks the ID] CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE [Lorelai walks down the steps carrying some skirts. Rory is in the living room getting ready to leave] LORELAI: Okay, here's the problem. Every single one of my skirts is either too long or too short for this season's acceptable lengths. Which means I either have to alter or shop. RORY: To be or not to be. LORELAI: Just wait 'til you hear what InStyle thinks of you, young lady. What time are you getting home tonight? RORY: We have to go over the special graduation edition of the Franklin, and of course we're completely behind, partly because Paris can't let anything go to print unless she's proofed it a million times. Can you say crazy a**l micromanager? LORELAI: Not five times fast. RORY: I'll be home by ten. LORELAI: That's all I needed to know. RORY: I forgot my notes. LORELAI: I put them in your bedroom. [Rory walks to her bedroom. Lorelai picks up the phone and dials a number] EMILY: Hello? LORELAI: Hi, Mom. EMILY: Lorelai? LORELAI: Yup, it's me. So, how are you? EMILY: I'm fine. LORELAI: Good. How's Dad? EMILY: He's fine. LORELAI: Also good. EMILY: May I speak with Rory please? LORELAI: No, you can't speak with Rory. EMILY: Why not? LORELAI: Because I called you. EMILY: So what? LORELAI: You don't get to request a switch when a person calls you. EMILY: I'm sure she's standing right there. LORELAI: Not the point. If you wanna talk to Rory, you have to call. Then when I answer the phone, you can ask for Rory. But you didn't call, I called, so you cannot ask for Rory. EMILY: What do you want, Lorelai? LORELAI: I just wanted to see how you were. I haven't seen you for awhile. EMILY: Your choice. LORELAI: No, your choice, Mom. EMILY: You're the one who called off Friday night dinners. LORELAI: No, I'm the one who called off the obligation for Friday night dinners. You're the one who called off. . .ugh, you know what, I didn't call to argue. EMILY: Fine, let's not argue. LORELAI: Come on, Mom, this is silly. I mean, think back to before the whole Friday night dinner thing. We still had a relationship. EMILY: You mean the one where I would trick you into calling me by leaving a message on your answering machine saying I had something important to tell you, but I wouldn't include the details so you had no choice but to call me. LORELAI: Yes. EMILY: And then when you did call, we'd talk about the weather, you'd ask about the DAR, and then you'd put Rory on the phone, even when she was too young to talk. LORELAI: It was not always like that. EMILY: It was always like that. Very well. The weather's fine, the DAR is staging a luncheon at the library next week. You already said I couldn't talk to Rory, so there, I think you've fulfilled your obligation. LORELAI: Okay, Mom, fine. Have a nice day. EMILY: Same to you. [They hang up. Lorelai's phone rings] LORELAI: It's for you! CUT TO CHILTON [Rory rushes into the Franklin meeting] RORY: Sorry, sorry, sorry. PARIS: The issue is a disaster. It's our last issue of the Franklin and it's a complete disaster. RORY: I'm sure it's not that bad. PARIS: And that's why you won't need to Botox your frown lines on your nineteenth birthday. [to another student] Not that picture, no, put it down. Put it down now! [walks away] [Rory walks over to Madeline and Louise] RORY: How's it coming? LOUISE: Very frustrating. MADELINE: We just can't seem to get exactly the right combination. LOUISE: All right. How about blue dress, blonde guy, black limo? Works best for me. MADELINE: Yes, however, green dress, red-haired guy, white limo works best for me. LOUISE: White limo with blonde guy totally doesn't work. It's too washed up. RORY: I'm assuming this conversation veered off of the cover page placement? MADELINE: How about black-haired guy, green dress and tan limo? LOUISE: Tan limo? MADELINE: Good neutral backdrop. LOUISE: Well, this opens up a whole new set of options. Bring the golf team back in. RORY: Okay, why don't I just get these pesky Franklin articles out of your way. There we go. PARIS: What are you doing? RORY: I am working on the front page placement. PARIS: What are they doing? RORY: Staying true to who they are. LOUISE: Look, prom is once. It happens, it's photographed, and then it's there forever. MADELINE: Planning is essential. LOUISE: By the way, Paris, we left a space for you in the limo. However, we're gonna need the color of your dress. MADELINE: And a picture of Jamie. LOUISE: And the amount of flexibility that you have with the color of your dress. MADELINE: And with Jamie. PARIS: Thank you, but we've already made our plans for prom night. Jamie hired a private car to drive us to the prom. We'll go in, take the picture, depending on the level of lameness, dance. Then he's taking me to dinner at Antoine's, followed by a helicopter ride to join his parents out in Martha's Vineyard for the weekend. MADELINE: What color's the helicopter? PARIS: As you were. [to Rory] So, have you figured out your plans for prom night yet? RORY: Oh, no, but Stars Hollow is a much more casual kind of a prom. Less Cinderella, more Footloose. PARIS: Still a prom. RORY: It is still a prom. PARIS: I can't wait. CUT TO SIDEWALK [Lorelai and Sookie walk down the street] LORELAI: It's my own fault. I poked a slumbering bear with a stick. I reached out and initiated contact with Emily Gilmore. I get what I deserve. SOOKIE: You're a bad girl. LORELAI: You know what really stinks? They're having Rory over tonight for a movie night. SOOKIE: Movie night? That's your thing with her. LORELAI: Exactly. What's next? "Stay home and dance around in your underwear to the Monkees' greatest hits" night? SOOKIE: I wouldn't put it past them to steal that, too. LORELAI: What's going on? [They read a sign on the bakery door that says Fran has passed away] LORELAI: Oh my God. SOOKIE: Fran. LORELAI: Poor thing. SOOKIE: I don't believe it. LORELAI: Such a great lady. SOOKIE: Great lady. LORELAI: Eighty-three on her last birthday. A good long life. SOOKIE: We should all be so lucky. LORELAI: I'm gonna miss her. SOOKIE: Me, too. So. . . LORELAI: Yeah? SOOKIE: I guess this'll put that old inn of hers on the market. LORELAI: Right, right. I mean, she wanted to keep it as long as she was alive, and now. . . SOOKIE: Oh my God. LORELAI: What? SOOKIE: You don't think that because we wanted the property so much, we killed Fran. LORELAI: What? SOOKIE: Through the power of our minds. LORELAI: No, no, we wished for the property, not this! SOOKIE: Yeah, but you never know with karma. LORELAI: Look, we loved Fran, right? SOOKIE: Yes, we did. LORELAI: And whether or not we get the Dragonfly Inn has nothing to do with her dying right now. SOOKIE: Right. . .sort of. LORELAI: Besides, we don't know what's happening with the inn. SOOKIE: Fran has no heirs. LORELAI: You never know. Some long lost gold-toothed cousin could come out of the woodwork, inherit it and turn it into a beauty salon or law offices. SOOKIE: Not our Dragonfly! LORELAI: The point is, if we are meant to have the Dragonfly Inn, then we are meant to have it. SOOKIE: Right. Like Doris Day. LORELAI: Que sera. SOOKIE: Sera. LORELAI: Let's focus on Fran and how much we loved her. Not think about the inn at all. SOOKIE: Okay. LORELAI: You're thinking about it. SOOKIE: Just about where to put the woodburning oven. LORELAI: We'll put it in the apartment that we're sharing in hell. SOOKIE: Let's buy flowers. LORELAI: Yeah, lots and lots of flowers. CUT TO KIM'S ANTIQUES [Lane and Mrs. Kim are polishing a set of chairs] LANE: This is a really nice chair. Is it old? MRS. KIM: Old enough. LANE: Well, it's really nice. I mean, the back is very sturdy and the legs are all the same length and the wood looks like it was a tree at some point, which is good for wood, 'cause it was. [There's a knock at the front door] MRS. KIM: Could you get that please? LANE: Yes, Mama. [Lane walks to the door and answers it. Dave is standing on the porch] LANE: What are you doing here? DAVE: I'm here to see your mother. LANE: What? DAVE: Excuse me. LANE: Dave, Dave, wait! [Dave walks into the house and over to Mrs. Kim] DAVE: Excuse me, Mrs. Kim, I need to speak with you. MRS. KIM: I'm busy, David. DAVE: A few weeks ago you told me that Lane had a crush on me. Well, I have a crush on her, too. Now, I know you have very strict rules about dating and boys, but I just want you to know that I'm a good person. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I've never gotten a ticket, I'm healthy, I take care of myself, I floss. I never watch more than 30 minutes of television a night partly because I think it's a waste of time and partly because there's nothing on. I respect my parents, I do well in school, I never play video games in case they do someday prove that playing them can turn you into a serial killer. I don't drink coffee. I hate soda because the carbonation freaks me out. I'm happy to give up meat if you feel strongly about it. I don't mind wearing a tie. I enjoy playing those hymns on my guitar, and I really, really want to take your daughter to the prom. [Mrs. Kim doesn't say anything] DAVE: Mrs. Kim? Please don't make me repeat that list again. MRS. KIM: Let never day nor night unhallow'd pass, but still remember what the Lord hath done. DAVE: Okay, thank you. [Dave and Lane walk outside.] DAVE: Did you hear what she said? LANE: Yes, I did. DAVE: What did it mean? LANE: I don't know. DAVE: Was it a yes, was it a no? LANE: I'm not sure. DAVE: Well, it's gotta be from the bible, right? So I'll just go home, do some research, look on the Internet, see what I can find. I'll call you when I know something. LANE: Okay. [He kisses her, then leaves] LANE: I'm so writing him a song tonight. CUT TO MOTEL [The man who left his wallet in the diner is in his motel room. There's a knock at the door, he answers it, Luke is there.] LUKE: Left your wallet in the diner. [tosses it to him] JIMMY: Oh, wow, did I? Look at that. I guess I did. Thanks for bringing it back. LUKE: No problem. JIMMY: You know, I really like this driver's license picture, too, so you could imagine what a drag it would be to have to replace it. LUKE: So what are you doing here, Jimmy? JIMMY: Just passing through. LUKE: Passing through from where? JIMMY: California. LUKE: California? JIMMY: Yeah, I've been there for a few years now, seems to be working out. LUKE: Well, glad to hear it. JIMMY: Yeah. LUKE: So what are you doing here, Jimmy? JIMMY: Nothing, really, just. . . LUKE: He hasn't missed you. JIMMY: I'm sure that he hasn't. LUKE: Never says a word about you. JIMMY: I wouldn't expect he would. LUKE: Do you know why he doesn't miss you, Jimmy? Because you're a loser and nobody missed a loser. JIMMY: It's been seventeen years, Luke. LUKE: Oh, you remember how long it's been. I am impressed. JIMMY: Yeah, well, I always could count. LUKE: And your list of attributes ends there. JIMMY: Okay, so I guess we're not playing nice anymore. LUKE: You know, the last time I saw you is right after Liz gave birth. You were gonna go out and buy some diapers and meet us back at the apartment. Remember that? JIMMY: Yes. LUKE: You went out, but you never came back. JIMMY: A lot of time has passed and a lot of things have changed. LUKE: Really, like what things? You? JIMMY: Yes, me. Maybe. Why not? LUKE: Oh, come on, you never called before. Why now? What do you want, you need money? JIMMY: What? LUKE: 'Cause he doesn't have any. JIMMY: I don't need money. LUKE: I don't have any either. JIMMY: I don't need money. LUKE: So the look is a choice? JIMMY: No, I just wanted to. . .I don't know, see him. LUKE: Why now? JIMMY: I don't know, I just thought it was time. You don't think it was time? LUKE: You really want my opinion on this subject? JIMMY: Luke, give me a break. LUKE: Give you a break? I am trying to keep this kid from falling off the face of the Earth. I'm trying to get him through school. I'm trying to give him a future. And I gotta be totally honest with you, Jimmy - I am not doing too well. JIMMY: No? LUKE: No, and the last thing he needs is a special appearance by his father who can't be here for any good reason. JIMMY: There's no evil plan here. I have a job, a life. I just thought I'd come and... LUKE: What? Say hello, see if he looks like you? Then what? JIMMY: Well. . . LUKE: What? JIMMY: I don't know! LUKE: Okay, well, while you're figuring it out, let me plant this little thought in your head - you do or say anything to upset Jess and make it harder for me to keep him on the right path, I'm gonna put your head through a wall. Any wall, you can pick the wall, but it's gonna be a wall, okay? JIMMY: I just wanted to see him. LUKE: Well, you saw him. Now get outta here. [SCENE_BREAK] CUT TO SIDEWALK [Lorelai and Rory are walking toward the church for the funeral] LORELAI: You know, Fran was one of the first people I met when we moved here. RORY: I know. LORELAI: The first day here, I stopped in. . . RORY: And asked her for directions to the inn. LORELAI: Yeah. She was so sweet. And oh my God, she loved you. I didn't think she was gonna let me leave the bakery with you. She just kept giving you cookies in a shameless attempt to buy your affections away from me. And let me tell you, for a couple weeks, it worked. For two weeks, you just kept staring at me like, "You're the lady who took me away from the cookies. I'm gonna kill you." RORY: Mom, can I just meet you at the church? LORELAI: Why, what are you planning? Is it finally payback time? RORY: I just need to stop in at Doose's and get something. Kleenex, we'll need Kleenex. LORELAI: Aw, I'll come with you. RORY: Um, well. . . [They approach a bench where Miss Patty is sitting, crying] LORELAI: Aw, Patty. . . MISS PATTY: Now it all starts. LORELAI: What all starts, honey? MISS PATTY: First Fran, then the rest of us. LORELAI: Aw, Patty, it's not the plague. It was just her time. MISS PATTY: I can't go. LORELAI: Yes, you can. Come on. MISS PATTY: No, just leave me. LORELAI: I'm gonna get her to the church. RORY: I'll meet you there. [walks away] LORELAI: Come on, let's go. MISS PATTY: You know, it's times like these that you realize what is truly important in your life. I'm so glad I had all that s*x. LORELAI: Hurry, honey. CUT TO LUKE'S DINER [The diner is empty except for Jess at the counter. Rory starts to enter the diner, then stops herself. She walks away, then walks back to the door and stops herself again. Luke walks down into the diner and watches. Rory walks away. Jess sees her and starts to follow after her. He stops himself and walks back to the counter. He starts to go after her again, then walks back in and sees Luke watching him] JESS: What are you looking at? [goes upstairs] CUT TO CHURCH [People are entering the church for the funeral. Taylor is greeting people at the door] TAYLOR: Thank you for coming, the grand opening has been postponed. Thank you for coming, the grand opening has been postponed. Thank you for coming. Thank you for coming, the grand opening has been postponed. Thank you for coming, the grand opening has been postponed. Thank you for coming, the grand opening has been postponed. [Everyone takes their seats, and the priest starts the service] PRIEST: Welcome all. The large number of people here today is a testament to how much Fran Weston has touched each and every one of us. We'd like to start by inviting Marjorie Rogers, Fran's close friend, to share a few words with us. [Marjorie walks to the podium] MARJORIE: In 1955, Fran opened Weston's Bakery. Back then, she was the new kid on the block, and soon thereafter, she hired me, a mother of three rugrats and a husband overseas, and we became best friends. Still are. LORELAI: That's so sweet. SOOKIE: You think we'll still be friends when we're dead? LORELAI: I will if you will. MARJORIE: Fran was and is Stars Hollow. And to ensure that her love and spirit continue, Weston's Bakery will remain open and run by those who have Fran's heart in their hearts. [applause] MARJORIE: Of course, Fran's family has been here long before even Fran. They opened the Dragonfly Inn back in 1893. The Dragonfly Inn was once regarded as the Violet Lady, the premiere inn in all of . . .[the microphone goes out]. LORELAI: What'd she say? SOOKIE: I heard "premiere inn" then squat. LORELAI: Is she still talking about the inn? SOOKIE: I don't know. KIRK: Shh! [the microphone fades in and out as Marjorie continues speaking] MARJORIE: Inn . . .ortant role. . .ing. . .it's special. . .all who. . . LORELAI: She said "inn." SOOKIE: And "ortant" and "ing." MARJORIE: . . .set. . .World War. . . SOOKIE: She said World War. LORELAI: One or two? Where are we, where are we? MARJORIE: . . .Fran. . . SOOKIE: She's pointing to somebody. LORELAI: Yeah, it's a man in a suit. SOOKIE: Does he have a gold tooth? LORELAI: I don't know. RORY: You guys, people are turning. MARJORIE: . . .to you all. [leaves the podium] SOOKIE: Did she say who gets the inn? LORELAI: I don't know. [The priest returns to the podium and fixes the microphone] PRIEST: Uh, thank you, Marjorie. And now, I'd like to point out that the time is twelve p.m., the time Fran would normally be opening her doors on Sunday after church, welcoming us to join her in friendship at Weston's Bakery. So, if we may at this time all bow our heads for a minute of silence to mark the passing of the soul and our dear departed friend. [a marching band starts playing outside] TAYLOR: No, no, the grand opening is canceled! Sorry, folks. [runs outside to stop the band] Stop, it is canceled. . .canceled! CUT TO LATER AT THE FUNERAL PRIEST: As we close, I'd like to honor a special request Fran had, and that is to take one final stroll around the Town Square before going to her final resting place. All those who would like to participate, please assemble outside. MRS. KIM: [to Lane] Walking with dead people not my thing. Let's go. RORY: Where's Sookie? LORELAI: Just giving our condolences. RORY: And asking what you missed when the mike cut out? LORELAI: And giving our condolences. [Sookie walks over to them] SOOKIE: The man in the suit's name is Brink. He's a lawyer and he's here to get Fran's affairs in order. LORELAI: Do you think we can talk to him? SOOKIE: Yes, but Lorelai, you have to get back to the inn and I've got those B&Bers waiting at my home to learn how to make jam. LORELAI: Okay, well, let's get him now. SOOKIE: I think our window of opportunity just slammed shut. [They see the lawyer helping carry the casket out of the church] LORELAI: Great. SOOKIE: Now what? LORELAI: We very respectfully hover in his vicinity until the walk is over. . . SOOKIE: Then we will politely ask him to get in touch with us. LORELAI: Yes. Coming? RORY: No, you guys go ahead. I'll be in the back of the line so that when the earth opens up and swallows you whole, I'll be here to tell a story. LORELAI: Okay. CUT TO OUTSIDE [Rory walks out of the church and Dean walks up to her.] DEAN: Hey, Rory. RORY: Oh, hey. You were in there? DEAN: Yeah. I got here late so I kind of just hung in the back. RORY: It was nice of you to come. DEAN: Well, she was a nice lady. RORY: Yeah, she was. DEAN: Listen, uh, can I talk to you for a sec? We'll catch up, I promise. RORY: Sure. DEAN: Good. Okay, um. . . RORY: What? DEAN: Come on. RORY: Dean, what are you doing? DEAN: Okay. Uh, are you ready? RORY: Yes, I'm ready. DEAN: I asked Lindsay to marry me. RORY: You. . .you. . . DEAN: And she said yes. RORY: She. . .she.. . DEAN: So what do you think? RORY: I. . . I. . . DEAN: I know, who woulda thought? I mean, it's weird, but Lindsay's amazing and I asked and she said yes, so. . .I'm getting married. Say something. RORY: Why? DEAN: What? RORY: No, I don't mean why, I mean, why now? DEAN: Why not now? RORY: Well, you're eighteen, first of all. DEAN: So? RORY: So, you're young. I mean, you haven't even gone to college yet. Oh my God, you are still going to college, aren't you? DEAN: Yes, Rory, I'm still going to college. RORY: Well, how. . . DEAN: Lindsay's gonna go with me. RORY: But Dean, you're going to be studying and taking classes, you need to focus on that. I mean, you don't even know what you wanna do yet. And you guys haven't even been going out for that long. I mean, why don't you just date for awhile? Dating's fun. DEAN: Thank you. RORY: For what? DEAN: For your deep heartfelt congratulations. RORY: You just. . .you took me by surprise. DEAN: So what? It's good news, you can't just be happy for me? RORY: I can. I am. I just. . . DEAN: You know what, I'm sorry if you have a crappy relationship with Jess. RORY: Hey, that has - DEAN: And I'm sorry if he treats you like dirt and everyone hates him, but that was your choice. I have a great girlfriend and I am really happy, and when you dumped me for that jackass, I thought I'd never be happy again. RORY: Jess does not treat me like dirt. DEAN: Whatever. I just wanted you to hear it from me before it got out. Now you know, so, um, have a nice life. [walks away] RORY: Jess does not treat me like dirt! CUT TO KIM'S ANTIQUES [Mrs. Kim is making tea in the kitchen. Lane walks in] LANE: Mama, do you need any help? MRS. KIM: No, thank you. LANE: I could get out the soy scones. MRS. KIM: If you like. LANE: Tofutter? MRS. KIM: Fine. LANE: Mama, I'm really sorry about the other night. I did everything wrong, everything you taught me not to do. I lied to you, I let you down. I never intended to do that and I don't know how to fix it, but I'm going to try my hardest because I am so, so sorry. I'll be upstairs if you need me. I'm gonna go in my room, gonna iron my dress for church and I'm gonna think about what I've done. [Lane starts to go up to her room. The doorbell rings and Mrs. Kim answers the door. Dave is on the porch] DAVE: I stayed up all night. I read the entire bible cover to cover. I don't know what it means. MRS. KIM: David. DAVE: You have to tell me what it means. Is it yes, is it no? I can't feel my right elbow anymore. I don't even know why, but I can't. MRS. KIM: David. DAVE: Please, just tell me. I'm so tired. MRS. KIM: It's not from the bible. DAVE: What? MRS. KIM: It's Shakespeare, Henry VI. I like to goof off now and then, too, you know. DAVE: Shakespeare. MRS. KIM: That is a very difficult this to do, reading the bible in one night. I myself have only done it three times. You need great determination and excellent light. I'm very impressed. All right. DAVE: All right what? MRS. KIM: You can go to the prom, but you cannot get married. DAVE: That seems fair to me. LANE: And me! The person who is going upstairs to think about what she's done. MRS. KIM: Lane is grounded until the prom and for two months after. You may call her on the phone every other day for ten minutes and that is all. Understand? DAVE: Yes, ma'am. Thank you, Mrs. Kim. [Mrs. Kim walks away. Lane and Dave smile at each other] MRS. KIM: Lane! LANE: Thinking about what I've done! CUT TO TOWN SQUARE [A line of mourners are slowly following behind the pall bearers carrying Fran's casket] LORELAI: So apparently we're all supposed to walk like Fran. SOOKIE: It's almost four. LORELAI: Okay, I've gotta take some initiative here. SOOKIE: What are you doing? LORELAI: Just focus on the ground and look lost in grief. [they move up so they are standing alongside Fran's lawyer] LORELAI: It was a nice service. LAWYER: Yes. LORELAI: Yes. SOOKIE: And this is a really nice idea, the walk around the square. LORELAI: Oh, yeah, a great idea. I may steal it when I die. You know, ask them to walk me around a benefit counter. Might freak out the makeover girls, but it's - SOOKIE: It's nice. LORELAI: Really nice. So listen, my name is Lorelai Gilmore and this is Sookie St. James. SOOKIE: Hi. LORELAI: I know this isn't exactly the best time for this, but we were wondering if you had any idea what's going to happen with the Dragonfly. SOOKIE: Because we want it! LORELAI: Sookie and I actually talked to Fran about buying it once. SOOKIE: We work in the Independence Inn now. LAWYER: The one that burned down? LORELAI: Yes, but that was just an accident. It was a bad wire. SOOKIE: A bad, bad wire. LORELAI: It could've happened to anyone and should in no way reflect our inn-running abilities. LAWYER: Yes, well, do you think we could discuss this a little later? This is a little heavy and I sort of need to focus. LORELAI: Oh, let me help you here. [grabs onto the casket] Ooh, wow, for a little woman. . .Sookie, will you just. . . SOOKIE: Oh, right. [helps carry the casket] LORELAI: Anyway, we were just wondering, did she leave the Dragonfly to anyone? LAWYER: No, she didn't. LORELAI: Oh, okay. And do you know what the family wants to do with it? LAWYER: We haven't talked in depth about it, but I'm pretty sure they're gonna sell it. LORELAI: Well, we would really like to buy it. SOOKIE: And keep it as an inn. LORELAI: Yes, a wonderful inn. SOOKIE: Dedicated to Fran. LORELAI: Yes, but keep it the Dragonfly. SOOKIE: And we promise not to burn it down. LORELAI: Oh, yes, that's right. Hey, we could put that in the agreement. Ow. . . LAWYER: Uh, here, why don't you. . . LORELAI: Thank you. Anyway, what do you say? LAWYER: Well. . . KIRK: Excuse me, but you're blocking her view. LORELAI: Oh, sorry Kirk, sorry. So you were saying? LAWYER: I'll tell you what, you contact me on Monday and we can discuss this. As far as I'm concerned, if the check clears, it's all yours. LORELAI: It's all ours. SOOKIE: It's all ours. CUT TO LUKE'S DINER [Jess is cleaning up when Jimmy walks in] JESS: We're closed. Learn to read. You're the loser coffee guy. JIMMY: Well, not as cool as Bono, but I'll take it. JESS: We're - JIMMY: Closed. Yeah, I heard. JESS: Okay, so we're still - JIMMY: I'm your father. JESS: - closed. What? JIMMY: I'm your. . . JESS: Are you sure? JIMMY: Am I. . .yes, I'm sure. I didn't mean to spring this on you. I thought Luke would've told you that I - JESS: Luke would've told me? JIMMY: Well, yeah, he came to see me last night. He didn't tell you. That's obvious because you're still doing the staring with the frown and. . .you look different. JESS: You want some coffee? JIMMY: Sure. Thanks. JESS: It's old. JIMMY: Okay. [They sit down at a table and both silently listen to a song on the radio for a minute] JIMMY: I gotta go. [Jimmy quickly gets up and leaves] CUT TO SIDEWALK [Lorelai and Rory are walking down the street] LORELAI: I was negotiating at a funeral. RORY: I saw. LORELAI: Which might've been the most inappropriate thing to happen today until that gnat flew into Kirk's mouth and he freaked and dropped the casket. RORY: It was a nice save. LORELAI: I'm feeling so weird. I'm completely sad about Fran, but the inn. . .it's really gonna happen. RORY: Yeah, seems like it. LORELAI: Hey, come here. [they stop in front of a store with a prom dress in the window] LORELAI: That one would look great on you. RORY: Oh, I don't know. LORELAI: We should come back tomorrow and try it on. RORY: Maybe. LORELAI: Hey, prom's coming up, kid. We need to get you a dress. Unless you want me to make you one. RORY: No, that's okay. LORELAI: Maybe we could hit the mall tomorrow after school. I could meet you in Hartford and we could go to a fancy store where they'll follow us around like we're thieves. RORY: I don't wanna talk about dresses anymore. LORELAI: We've only been talking about dresses for two minutes. RORY: Well, it feels like longer. LORELAI: Rory. RORY: And I don't know if I even need a dress, okay, 'cause I don't even know if I'm going to the prom. LORELAI: I thought Jess agreed. RORY: Well, that was before. LORELAI: Before what? RORY: Before the party, before the fight, before the thing in Kyle's bedroom. LORELAI: Okay, come with me. [they both get into the Jeep] LORELAI: Okay, we left off with the thing in Kyle's bedroom. RORY: I don't understand. One minute he's happy, then he's not. And he doesn't tell me anything ever. I mean, you're supposed to tell your girlfriend things. That's the whole point of having a girlfriend, isn't it? LORELAI: Yes, it is. Now, Kyle's bedroom, what happened there? RORY: And I'm so tired of fighting. Or not even fighting because he won't fight. He just gets mad and disappears and then comes back and I don't like how I feel and I don't like what I do. LORELAI: Like what you do where, in Kyle's bedroom? RORY: I don't wanna feel like this, I don't wanna sit around wondering when we're going to talk, if he's mad, why he's mad. I hate this. I really, really - LORELAI: Honey, you gotta tell Mommy what happened in Kyle's bedroom! RORY: Jess was upset and I went to look for him and we were kissing and then it seemed like he wanted to. . . LORELAI: Did you? RORY: No, I didn't. And then he got all weird like he was mad at me. LORELAI: Hey, if he was mad at you because you wouldn't have s*x with him, then he's a jerk. RORY: I know that, but I don't even know if that's why he's mad at me. I don't know if he's mad at me. I don't know anything because he won't talk. He just sulks then disappears, and just when you're through with him, he shows up at hockey games with Distiller tickets. LORELAI: Distiller tickets? What Distiller tickets? RORY: Oh, that's right, you don't know about that because I didn't tell you because I was embarrassed because I didn't wanna be that girl and you don't want me to be that girl, but after the hockey game, I was that girl. LORELAI: What girl? Help me, drag me along, honey. RORY: The girl who lets her boyfriend treat her like dirt and then lies to her mom about it. LORELAI: Okay, you need a breath here. RORY: Something's going on with him and it's been going on for awhile. LORELAI: You can't make him talk, Rory. He has to want to. RORY: But why doesn't he want to? LORELAI: Because it's probably hard for him. [There is a car waiting to take their parking spot. Lorelai leans out the car window to yell at the driver] LORELAI: Hey, we're not leaving. We're gonna live in this car and we're gonna die in this car, so find another frickin' spot. [to Rory] Honey. . . RORY: I don't wanna talk about it anymore. I'm tired of talking about it. I'm just. . .tired. LORELAI: Okay. So. . . RORY: Nothing happened. LORELAI: Okay. CUT TO LUKE'S APARTMENT [Jess is sitting at the table, Luke walks in] LUKE: Hey. You hungry? I can make us some eggs. JESS: So I hear you went to see my father last night. LUKE: Yeah, I did. JESS: Were you gonna tell me? LUKE: He came by? JESS: He came by. LUKE: I didn't think he'd have the guts. JESS: So what were you thinking? LUKE: Jess, I don't like your father very much. JESS: So because you don't like him, that means I can't know he's here? LUKE: You know he's here. JESS: No thanks to you. LUKE: Shouldn't have come from me in the first place. JESS: So what, you don't think you owed it to me to tell me, prepare me? LUKE: No, Jess, I didn't. With everything that's going on here with you, I kinda hoped he'd just walk away, but. . .once again, Jimmy makes the wrong move. What a shock. JESS: Oh, who the hell are you to decide what the right move is? LUKE: I'm the one who's saving your ass constantly. I'm the one who just wrote a check to Kyle's father so he wouldn't press charges against you. I'm the one trying to knock some sense into that thick head of yours about the future. JESS: Oh, here we go. LUKE: You don't take anything seriously. That's why you're doing so crappy in school. You're smart enough, you read more than anyone I've ever seen. There's no reason why you should be barely graduating. JESS: I'm not. LUKE: You're not what? JESS: I'm not graduating. LUKE: Yes, you are. JESS: No, I'm not. LUKE: Yes, you are. JESS: No, I'm not. LUKE: Yes, you are, because we had an agreement that if you were gonna live here, you were gonna go to school and you were gonna graduate. JESS: Well, I didn't and I'm not. LUKE: What is wrong with you? What, did you do this just to spite me? JESS: Look, forget it, it's done. LUKE: What's your life now? Wal-Mart full time, that's your great future? Gonna take the plunge and buy yourself a second blue vest? JESS: Maybe, why not? What's wrong with it? I mean, it's no diner. LUKE: Hey, I own this business, kid! I built it, this is mine! I'm not at the mercy of some boss waiting and hoping to be chosen employee of the month for a couple extra hundred bucks and a plaque. I'm always employee of the month. I'm employee of the year, of the century, of the universe. You should be so lucky to have a job like mine. Okay, here's what we're gonna do. You're gonna live here one more year, you're gonna quit you job, you're gonna take twelfth grade over again, and you will graduate. JESS: No. LUKE: I'm not playing with you here, Jess. You quit your job, you go to school. JESS: I am not going back to school! LUKE: So that's it? JESS: Yeah, that's it. LUKE: Then you gotta go. CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE [Lorelai has set up breakfast on the kitchen table; Rory walks out of her room] RORY: I thought I smelled coffee. LORELAI: Good morning your highness. I trust you slept well. RORY: And to what do I owe this lovely display of domesticity? LORELAI: Well, being brilliant and all, I figured you would probably still not be in the mood to go to Luke's this morning, so I thought we'd have a nice little breakfast here. RORY: Wow, okay. Hey. LORELAI: Good? RORY: These are from Luke's. LORELAI: What? RORY: You got up this morning, went to Luke's and brought this back. LORELAI: Well, I sure as hell am not gonna cook. RORY: They're good, thank you. LORELAI: Put 'em on a plate just the way you like 'em. [Rory looks at the newspaper] RORY: Well, there it is. LORELAI: [reads] "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Lister announce the engagement of their daughter Lindsay Ann to Dean Forrester, son of Randy and Barbara Forrester." My God, they're a good looking couple. If their kids can sing there's no stopping 'em. RORY: I still don't understand why they need to get married. LORELAI: Maybe they have to get married before he grows so tall she won't be able to talk to him anymore. RORY: I really do want him to be happy. LORELAI: I know. You're good in that department. RORY: Some people get married young and everything turns out fine. LORELAI: Absolutely. RORY: That'd be nice. LORELAI: Well, we'll keep a good thought. RORY: Hey, here's a picture of Kirk pinned by the casket. LORELAI: Oh, yeah, that's a good one. RORY: Man, it's bad enough this had to happen, but his pants splitting on top of it? LORELAI: Yeah. I hope he never takes too close a look at his life. RORY: Amen. So this goes on the fridge, right? LORELAI: Yeah, absolutely. RORY: Good. CUT TO BUS [Rory is on her way to school. The bus stops and several people get off, and she notices Jess sitting in the back. She walks over to him] RORY: Hey. JESS: Hey. RORY: Can I sit? JESS: Uh, sure, sit. I thought you took an earlier bus. RORY: My first class got canceled today. JESS: Oh. So what's been going on? RORY: Nothing much. Fran died. JESS: I heard. RORY: I went to her funeral yesterday. JESS: Luke went, too. RORY: I saw him there. JESS: Yeah? RORY: He was in the back. JESS: I can't go to the prom. I couldn't get tickets. RORY: Oh. JESS: Sorry. [the bus stops] RORY: This is my stop. JESS: Okay. RORY: So, you'll call me? JESS: Yeah, I'll call you. [Rory gets off the bus. Jess pulls a book out of a large duffel bag and the bus pulls away]

Fran Weston dies and Lorelei and Sookie try to buy the Dragonfly Inn; Rory and Jess try approaching each other but fail to talk; Dean tells Rory that he's engaged to Lindsay; Mrs. Kim agrees to let Lane go to the prom with Dave; Luke finds out about Jess and Dean's fight at the party and gets even angrier at Jess, Jess' father comes to Stars Hollow and Luke tries to scare him out of town before he makes raising Jess even harder for Luke.

fd_Dawson_s_Creek_02x20

fd_Dawson_s_Creek_02x20_0

CAST James Van Der Beek: Dawson Leery Kaite Holmes: Joey Potter Joshua Jackson: Pacey Witter Michelle Williams: Jen Lindley Meredith Monroe: Andie McPhee Kerr Smith: Jack McPhee Evelyn "Grams" Ryan: Mary Beth Peil Gareth Williams: Mike Potter Gail Leery: Mary-Margaret Humes Mitch Leery: John Wesely Shipp Nicole Kennedy: Madchen Amick Written by Greg Berlanti Directed by Melanie Mayron (Dawson's room - everyone is there watching a movie, eating popcorn. It's Andie, Pacey, Dawson, Joey, Jack, and Jen) Dawson: (shuts off the movie) Okay...movement break! (He gets up and grabs his bottle of water and looks around the room and starts laughing) Is anyone else struck by the humor of this moment that we're all in the same room at the same time. Jack: (eating popcorn) Yeah, I think it's bizarre...I mean, the way we all started the school year and how we all managed to come out as friends... Andie: Yeah, like St. Elmo's! Joey: St. Elmo's from hell. Dawson: Thought would be a negative spin. Joey: I just think it's important in times of model and reflection to incorporate a little honesty.. (Jen sits up.) Jen: You know what? I happen to agree with Joey. I mean, sure, we've all grown to tolerate each other but we're still a long way off from 90210-land of best friends forever. Pacey: I don't know...I kind of think that Andie's got a point. I mean, there has been a lot of hanging out lately. Jack: Yeah, like when? Pacey: (mouthful of popcorn) Like right now, for instance. Have we even stopped to consider why we've all come here together tonight if not our need to go habitate in, dare I say it, a click. (Jen makes a face of disgust.) Joey: Scary... Andie: Yeah, Pacey, when you say it like that... Dawson: Wait a minute, though, I mean no offense to anybody here, but I called up Pacey to invite him over to watch a couple of movies..that hardly qualifies as group hanging out. Pacey: Yeah, but I invited Andie... Andie: And I invited Jack. Joey: And I better not need an invitation! (Dawson and Joey kiss.) Jen: And I live here now. Pacey: Let's face it, guys, we are this far away from the Peach Pit. (Everyone turns and stares at him.) Joey: Kill him. Andie: ATTACK! (They all grab pillows and start hitting each other. There's feathers flying everywhere and everyone's laughing. Dawson's Creek theme.) (Cut to outside of Capeside High. Andie and Jack walk up to Pacey, Andie's hair is brown.) Andie: Hey. Pacey: Hey. (looks again) Wow. Andie: He said with zero enthusiasm... (Andie walks off.) Pacey: You got a new 'do... (Jack is giving him the 'cut it out' gestures.) Andie: You don't like it. Pacey: I didn't say that. Jack: He didn't say that! Andie: New hairstyles are judged by immediate response. Yours was lackless. Pacey: No--I--Well, I think you look fantastic, sweetheart.You just don't look like...you? Andie: Keep digging your personal charm on. Pacey: You know what? I love it! Jack-- Jack: He loves it! He clearly loves it! Pacey: You're beautiful! You've never-- Andie: Liars..both of you. Pacey: You--anyway, about tonight, I was thinking movie, dinner, romantic stroll down by the docks... Andie: Think again. I've got to study for finals...not to mention...take care of Mom. Pacey: It's Friday night. You have plenty of time to hit the books over the weekend. What do you say we take tonight off? Andie: You know, you should, YOU should take the the night off, I would love it, but I'm going to study thanks. Pacey: (to Jack) Do I deserve this? Andie: (looking at a textbook) Oh, geez! How could I do this?! Pacey: What? Andie: DAMNIT! Pacey: What's the matter? Andie: I brought the wrong book for Pre-Calc., Mrs. Sanders is going to kill me. Pacey: Maybe it's in your locker. Andie: Yeah, well, it better be, I'll see you later. (She storms off and Pacey turns to Jack.) Pacey: Okay? So.. Jack: It's the hair, okay? She's extra sensitive...she did it herself! (Jack walks off.) Pacey: Well, ain't love grand. (Cut to Andie digging through her locker and then she angrily hits it. She looks around and sees a guy, he's tall, dark haired (her brother Tim). She smiles at him and almost starts crying. She looks back into her locker and gets out the right book. She smiles at the guy again. Cut to Dawson reading a board when Joey comes up behind him and kisses him on the cheek.) Joey: So, what's the plan for tonight? Dawson: Uh, I dunno, maybe rent a movie... Joey: Dawson, do you know what we've done for the past four Friday nights? Here's a hint: Be kind, rewind. Dawson: Okay, so maybe we won't rent a movie. We'll watch a movie instead! Joey: (Sarcastically) Har har. Dawson: It's not like I prefer the situation. I mean, I do try to make our evenings as spontaneous as possible. Joey: (smiles) No offense to you, Dawson, but I think because we've been friends for so long and no each other so well...our chemistry, the only thing it doesn't produce is spontaneity. Dawson: Ah, well, that's me. Captain A-Hum-Drum. Joey: I said us. Dawson: You meant me. Joey: I have to admit that I am a little surprised that you're okay with this considering it is our one month anniversary for whatever we are...or were...(smiles) or are. Dawson: Joey, we are boring, trite people. We are absolutely incapable of sponteneity. We do things like plan and organize and make reservations weeks in advance at top-notch restaurants for one-month anniversaries to celebrate whatever it is we are...or were...(smiles) or are. Joey: (smiling and hugs him) You didn't! Dawson: It was going to be a surprise until you got all persnickety on me. Joey: I didn't get persnickety! Dawson: Yeah, it's okay, though! You're a very cute persnickety. Joey: I did not get persnickety. (Dawson smiles and laughs.) Joey: Okay, that was persnickety. (They laugh. Cut to Jen sitting out on the Leery porch staring at Grams' house. Gail walks up.) Gail: You could call her... Jen: Who? Gail: Who do you think? Jen: I just don't think I'd have a whole lot to say to her. And at this point I don't think she'd have a whole lot to say to me either. Gail: Aw, don't say that. Jen: I want to talk to her but...where would it lead? Maybe I'd move back in, a few weeks of considerable reconciliation, and then the inevitable ideology clash. I just accept that there are certain people who aren't meant to fit in your life. No matter how much you want them to be. Gail: I'm infinitely familiar with that predicament. Jen: Oh! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to imply that you and-- Gail: No, it's okay, honey. What do you say we just have a night of good food, good music, good conversation, and just put the past on the back burner for awhile. Jen: I'd have to say that's the best offer I've gotten in awhile! (Cut to Mitch and Mrs. Kennedy walking down the street.) Mitch: "Entre Nous," I wonder what that means in French. Mrs.Kennedy: Oh, it means, "just between us". Mitch: Like a secret. Mrs.Kennedy: Or a kiss. (They kiss.) Mitch: Well, that was slightly unexpected. Mrs.Kennedy: It was? Mitch: Yeah. Mrs.Kennedy: Well, we've been spending a lot of time together at school, we've went out on a few dates, it's clear that we enjoy each other's company. It's only natural that things progress. Mitch: You're right, you're right. It's just I'm kind of like teenager about all this in need of a lot of practice. Mrs.Kennedy: Well, the key is not to think about it. Think about how beautiful the evening is, how quaint the restaurant is that we're about to enter, even how romantic a streetlight can be-- (Mitch kisses her again.) Mitch: After you my (french word that I missed) Mrs.Kennedy: Ah, merci. (Cut to Dawson and Joey walking hand-in-hand to the restaurant.) Joey: Entre Nous? That's where we're going? Dawson: Yep! Joey: Dawson, that's too expensive. Dawson: Well, the stock market was high, I had a little extra to throw in... Joey: Dawson, seriously. It doesn't matter where we eat... Dawson: Joey, we have been together for one month...I want to take you to a meal in an establishment where (completely missed phrase)... (Joey looks at him like 'What?') Dawson: Okay, I do admit that that was a prepared statement. Joey: Yeah, I figured. Dawson: (laughs) C'mere. (They kiss. Cut to inside Entre Nous where the band is playing and people are dancing. Cut to Dawson arguing with the maitre'd.) Dawson: I made reservations two weeks ago! M: I'm sorry. I didn't realize there were two Leery parties. Dawson: Two Leery parties? M: Well, yes. (motions towards Mitch and Mrs. Kennedy sitting at a booth.) (Mitch looks up and is surprised.) Mitch: Dawson? Dawson: Dad. Great. (Cut to Andie at the therapist.) Therapist: It's possible that you're experiencing symptoms called complicated grief. Your medical history makes you sort of susceptible to this kind of anxiety on the loss of a loved one. Andie: This doesn't have anything to do with my brother. Therapist: I'm talking about Abby Morgan. Her death seems to have upset you a great deal which ultimately may have triggered unresolved issues with your brother's passing. It's critical that we stay on top of this. Have you seen Abby any other times besides the incident you spoke of a month ago? Andie: No, no...just that one time. In fact, now that I think about it...I may not have seen her at all. Therapist: It's okay if you did, Andie. Andie: No, no, I don't think I did... Therapist: (writing something down) This is my home number. I want you to call me if you feel your anxiety getting worse. Also, I want you in here early next week and we can decide then if you're in need of any medication. Andie: Medication? Uh, but you said that I wouldn't have to go back on? Therapist: It's different now. What's going on inside you, Andie, may not be healing itself properly. The sooner we confront this, the better. (Cut to Andie walking to her car. She gets in and looks over and it's her hallucination of Tim.) Tim: I like your hair. Andie: Thanks. Tim: Did you tell her about me? Andie: (shakes her head no) I couldn't... Tim: That's good. What we have is a secret. Andie: Not for long. They're going to find out about you and then we're going to have to leave each other... Tim: I'm not going anywhere. Andie: Promise me? Because I can't lose you, I don't have this with anyone else. Nobody listens like you do. Tim: I know... Andie: I'm so scared... (She sits there and then starts hitting her hands on the steering wheel.) Andie: WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME? WHY ME? WHY! (She leans on "Tim" and they sit there in the car. Cut to Jen carrying in wood for the fire in the Leery house.) Jen: Hey Gail, can I ask you a question that kind of breaks our back burner rule? Gail: Sure. Jen: What kind of hope to you have of the hope of you and Mr. Leery getting back together? Gail: Well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it everyday. Jen: I mean, have you--did you try to get him back? Gail: I've made a few attempts here and there. But it's pointless, Jen. You can't connive or intice love. By definition it has to find it's way to you. Jen: Dawson said that you got a job offer in Philadelphia...are you going to take that? Gail: I don't know. I'm waiting for that sign. Jen: Sign? Gail: You know, one of those small moments in life that provide some clarity. A little occurance that provides you with where you need to go, who you need to be with, or not be with... Jen: Smoke! Gail: I think that sign's a little extreme. Jen: No, I mean, I smell smoke! Gail: Oh my God! The potroast! Jen: Oh! (They run for the kitchen. Cut to Dawson, Mrs. Kennedy, Mitch, and Joey squeezed around a small table at Entre Nous.) Mitch: I guess we were lucky that they could squeeze us all in together... (A waiter bumps Dawson's chair and he is not looking too happy.) Dawson: I'll say. (sarcastically) Lucky. Mitch: Dawson. Nicole and I were just discussing your summer plans. Mrs.Kennedy: Yes, your father mentioned the possibility of you interning in Hollywood. I'm sure I could set you up with a summer job at an agency or a production company. Dawson: Isn't that the city that you said, and I quote, "eat me for breakfast"? Mrs.Kennedy: Look, I'm sorry if I was hasty in my analysis. Dawson: Apology not accepted. : Dawson! You don't mean that. Dawson: Yes, I do. I spent months working on that film which you gave two seconds of thought to before annihilating. After which, you proceeded to steer me away from the business as much as possible, but now, since you're dating my father, all of a sudden I'm worthy of an internship. Mrs.Kennedy: You asked me to be truthful, Dawson. Now I may not be a fan of your work, but I am a fan of your enthusiasm. There are plenty of opportunities in the film business, not just creatively speaking. Dawson: Ah, so I'm not creative enough. Mrs.Kennedy: You're misunderstanding me. Dawson: I don't think I am. Waiter: Alright, are you guys ready to order? Mitch: (forces a smile) Uh, yeah. Joey: (to Mitch and Mrs. Kennedy) You guys go ahead. Dawson and I will be right back. (They get up and walk to the bar.) Joey: So this is your idea of a romantic evening? Dawson: Joey, that woman trashed my movie, came this close to crushing all of my career hopes and now she's stealing my dream, what am I supposed to do? Talk about the weather? Joey: Dawson, I know. I realize this. But by letting her get the best of you, you're putting a petty little battle before us and our night. I mean, it's upsetting. Dawson: I'm sorry. Hey, for the sake of our evening, I will rise above. (They kiss.) Dawson: Okay? (Joey turns to see Jen and Gail entering into Entre Nous.) Joey: Oh, no... Dawson: Is this a French restaurant or a French (missed word)? (Cut to Pacey and Andie laying on Andie's bed watching television. Andie's a little fidgety.) Andie: I'm going to go get something to drink. (She gets up and leaves and Pacey stares after her. Cut to Andie in the kitchen, she grabs a glass out of the cupboard and turns to find Tim.) Andie: (angrily) You're late. I thought you'd come earlier. Tim: Are you okay? Andie: Look, we can't talk right now, okay? Pacey's upstairs and I don't want him to find out about-- Tim: I don't care about him, Andie. I care about you. And I hate seeing you like this. Andie: Look, you know what? It's just too hard having you both here at the same time, okay?! (Cut back up to Andie's room, Pacey moves to turn the other way on the bed and he moves the pillows and under Andie's he finds a photo album. He flips through a few pages then gets up and heads downstairs. On the way down he hears Andie talking to herself.) Andie: It's not like that, Brown. I can't just tell him. It's not that easy. There are too many repercussions that I'm not ready to deal with. Besides, why do I have to tell him in the first place? Would you understand if you were him? (Cut to Andie's perspective where Tim's there.) Tim: I guess I wouldn't. Andie: Then there's nothing I can do. Tim: Something...(long pause) You can choose. Andie: I won't do that, Brown. (Pacey leaps out from around the corner to see who she's talking to and he finds nobody and he stares at Andie confused. Cut to Jen drinking a Coke at the bar. Joey walks up to her.) Joey: Jen! Jen: J-Joey? Joey: What are you doing here? Jen: I'm here with Gail. Joey: Yeah, we saw. Jen: We? Joey: I'm here with Dawson and his father and....Mrs. Kennedy. Jen: Oh. Joey: Yeah... Jen: Not good... (Joey nods. Jen looks at Mitch sitting at the table by himself.) Jen: Or maybe not so bad. (Joey looks at her confused. Cut to Dawson sitting down by Mitch.) Dawson: Where'd Nicole go? Mitch: To the bathroom. Dawson: Um, I don't know if you watched the entrance just now but um-- Mitch: Your mother. I saw her. Dawson: And you're not stressing out about this? Mitch: What's there to stress about? She's seen me with Nicole before. Dawson: Dad, whether you choose to ignore it or not, Mom is moments away from choosing whether to leave Capeside indefinitely. Mitch: Well her decision to leave or not has nothing to do with me. Dawson: It has everything to do with you. She's not just leaving for a great opportunity, she's running away from you. From your relationship, your unfinished business. Mitch: Unfinished business is only a matter of paperwork and signatures now. Dawson: I don't believe that, and I know you don't either. Dad I'm telling you, if there is even the smallest part of you that wants to work things out with her, don't let her leave. For your sake and for mine. (Cut to the bathroom. Gail and Mrs. Kennedy come out of a stall the same time. They see each other, of course and Gail has a pissed off look on her face.) Mrs.Kennedy: Hello, Gail. Gail: I was actually kind of planning on ignoring you. Mrs.Kennedy: I'm sure you were. Gail: You wouldn't by any chance happen to be here with-- Mrs.Kennedy: Yes, I am. Gail: Well, that just sucks, doesn't it? Mrs.Kennedy: I'm sorry? Gail: Well, I just got here. Maybe I should call it a night. Mrs.Kennedy: Maybe. It would only be fair to Mitch. Gail: On second thought, I think I'll let Mitch decide what's fair for Mitch. (smiles) Enjoy your meal. (She leaves. Cut to Andie and Pacey in the kitchen.) Andie: You were listening to me! Pacey: You're damn right I was listening to you! What's going on here? Andie: I don't know what you're talking about. Pacey: Don't pull that with me. Who were you on the phone with? Andie: I wasn't on the phone. Pacey: Were you talking to another guy? Andie: I don't want to talk about this. Will you just please leave? Pacey: Tell me! Are you seeing somebody else?! Andie: NO! Pacey: THEN WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?! Andie: It's none of your business, now will you please just leave me alone! Pacey: No, I'm not leaving! Andie: I mean it this time Pacey! Pacey: Andie, ever since Abby died, your moods have been completely unpredictable. (he turns her around) Look at me! Okay? I mean, one minute you're all over me and the next, you don't even want to see me! (slower) So if it doesn't have anything to do with someone else...I can't....I can't help but think... Andie: What? Say it. Pacey: I'm just wondering if it's maybe some kind of mental situation... Andie: (pissed off) You had to go there. Pacey: Well it's a logical place to go, Andie... Andie: If you don't like having a wacko for a girlfriend then why don't you do us both a favor and just break up with me! Pacey: I just want to help you, Andie. Andie: No, you don't want to help me, Pacey. You want explanations for things I can't give you explanations for. Pacey: Okay...(walks over and picks up the photo album) will you explain these? Andie: It's a photo album. Pacey: No, it's pictures of you and your family that I've never seen before! Alright, you had them out and were going through them, why? Andie: It's none of your business. Pacey: Andie, you changed your hair back to how it was in these photos of you and your brothers! Andie: And? Pacey: And coming on the heels of a month in which you have been acting anything but normal, I just find it a little odd that all of a sudden you would revert back to a hairstyle you had three years ago! Andie: So that is what this is all about? You're freaking out because I went back to an old hairstyle. Which one of us has the problem here? Pacey: Just tell me that your hair has nothing to do with these pictures... Andie: Give me back the book. Pacey: Why are you acting like this? Andie: I said, give me back the book! (She rips it out of his hands and turns around and accidentily smashes a lamp and some stuff on a table. She and Pacey just kind of stand there for a minute.) Andie: Uh, you know what? You can stay here if you want but I'm really tired and I'm going to bed. (She runs upstairs as Pacey kneels down by the mess and flips open the photo album. He picks up a picture of Andie with brown hair, Jack, and Tim, looking identical to the guy Andie keeps seeing.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to a waiter pouring Gail some wine.) Gail: Thank you for squeezing us in at the last minute. Waiter: A pleasure. (motioning to the wine) Compliments of the house. You're officially Entre Nous favorite anchorwoman. Gail: Thank you. (He walks off. Gail looks at the dance floor.) Gail: Look at all those happy people. I never thought romance could be so disgusting. Jen: (laughs) Nice try, Gail, but once a romantic, always a romantic. Gail: Oh, you think so? Jen: Oh, I know so. And I would bet that if that band was to strike of a song that struck a chord in you, your eyes would well up in a matter of seconds. Gail: Well, I guess there's certain songs with extra meaning. Jen: Did you and Mitch have a song? Just out of curiosity. (The waiters sets down their salads.) Gail: (to the waiter) Thank you. (Cut to Mitch's table. A waiter walks up.) Waiter: Sorry to interrupt. But this wine is sent from another table who wishes to remain nameless. Mrs.Kennedy: I just feel that the quality in film these days....the story is lacking... (Mitch looks over at Gail across the room and smiles.) Mrs.Kennedy: (cont.) Dawson, promise me when you're a Hollywood big-wig you won't spend your time "trying" to make big money pictures. (Dawson fakes a smile.) Joey: You don't really mean that, Mrs. Kennedy. Mrs.Kennedy: Excuse me? Joey: Well, since you've already made it perfectly clear that Dawson won't have anything to do with film, it's a little persnickety of you to imply that he may somebody be a Hollywood big-wig, isn't it? Mrs.Kennedy: (forces a laugh) Persnickety... (Joey stares at her and shrugs. Cut to Pacey sweeping up the mess and Jack's there.) Jack: What happened? Pacey: It's your sister, man. We got into a fight and this is what happened... Jack: Man... Pacey: Jack, something is wrong, I mean really, really wrong... Jack: Last night I caught her talking to herself. I mean, she said she wasn't but I heard her. Pacey: So did I! I mean, tonight, I heard her in the kitchen and I thought she was talking to somebody on the phone... Jack: Talking to who? Pacey: I don't know. I didn't hear the whole conversation...but...it sounded like she was talking to somebody named Brown... (Jack's face falls.) Pacey: You know who that is. (Andie's been listening. She's been slipping down the stairs without Jack and Pacey noticing.) Andie: It's my name for Tim...When I was little I couldn't pronounce Timothy...so I called him by my favorite color, brown. You think I'm crazy but I'm not! Jack: Andie, nobody said that! Andie: I know what you're thinking but I'm not crazy. I'm not like Mom. I see Tim and he is here. Pacey: We know, Andie. (Andie starts crying and runs down the stairs around the corner and into a room where she shuts and locks the door.) Pacey: Andie! Andie!! C'mon Andie, open this door. Andie! Open this door! (Cut back to Mitch's table at Entre Nous.) Mrs. Kennedy: I want it to have the commercialality of a When Harry Met Sally but the drier more ironic tone of Nichols and Meg. Joey: Mrs. Kennedy, just out of curiosity, what do you think was the most lacking thing about Dawson's film? Mrs.Kennedy: Do we have to go through this again? Dawson: No, we don't. Joey: I think we should... Mitch: Joey. Joey: I'm sorry, Mr. Leery, but there's obviously a serious undercurrent of tension between Dawson and Mrs. Kennedy...and it seems to me that the only way that they can have peace is if they confront the issue that Mrs. Kennedy finds your son to be completely and totally without a talent or ability or any way, shape, or form. Mrs.Kennedy: No, no, I didn't say that. Joey: Then what was it you did say? Dawson: Yeah, what exactly did you say? Mrs.Kennedy: Look, I believe that the key to success is not only having a dream but having the right dream. Many people aspire to be writers and directors but very few actually have the potential.. Dawson: Who are you to be judging anybody's potential? You spent a couple years in Hollywood before disappearing into some small East Coast town to teach high school. Whatever success you had in Hollywood couldn't be much. Mrs.Kennedy: Well then it shouldn't matter what I think of your ability, should it? Mitch: Well, he's a kid with a dream, Nicole. Isn't it your job as a teacher to encourage him to follow it? Mrs.Kennedy: That's a really cozy fantasy, Mitch. But life has a meaner bite than that. Joey: You know, there's a name for individuals who focus on life's meaner bites. It's called bitter. Mrs.Kennedy: Well, on that note, if you'll excuse me. (She gets up. Dawson leans over to Joey.) Dawson: Joey, can I talk to you for a second? Joey: (to Mitch) Excuse me. (They leave and a waiter comes up.) Waiter: Is everything alright? (Mitch laughs. Dawson and Joey move back over by the bar.) Dawson: What's going on? Joey: What are you talking about? Dawson: You know exactly what I'm talking about. Not ten minutes after you warn me to start practicing a little bit of decorum, you start pushing every button at that table. Joey: You'll find out momentarily. Dawson: I can't-- (Jen walks up.) Jen: Alright, kids. Operation Reunited has begun. Dawson: What is going on? Joey: Don't worry. Jen: You'll find out. (The maitre'd walks up.) M: Ladies, I see you received the wine you asked for... Joey: Yes. Thank you. Dawson: Alright, he knows. The maitre'd knows and I don't know. Joey: Just wait. (Cut to Mitch going to take a seat by Gail.) Mitch: Familiar song. Gail: Not familiar enough, Mitch. Mitch: Well, one dance never killed anybody... (Gail smiles and they get up and move to the dance floor and start dancing. Cut to Dawson, Jen, and Joey.) Joey: Maybe there's more romance there then we thought. Jen: Or maybe we're just really good. (Cut back to them on the dance floor.) Mitch: Thanks for the wine. Gail: (confused) The wine? Mitch: Yeah, it was mature of you. I appreciated the gesture. (Gail's confused and she looks over by the bar where Dawson, Joey, and Jen are looking but try to act like they're not when she looks.) Gail: Oh! Well, you know moi! Mitch: So what's up with Philadelphia? Are you still deciding? Gail: Considering tonight's seating arrangements that doesn't seem to be a concern of yours anymore. Mitch: Point taken. But as Dawson's father, I make a point to make a quiet plea on his behalf. Like his father, he's not well at expressing himself and I don't know how well he's going to get along with you gone... Gail: Well, at first, maybe...but eventually he'll be fine. Mitch: Still...if I know Dawson...he's not going to let on how much he's missing you... Gail: He could ask me to stay. Mitch: But see that wouldn't be fair would it? You deserve the opportunity too much... Gail: Well, I'll miss him too... (They look as if they're about to kiss but the song ends.) Gail: (quietly) The song's over. (Mitch nods and they quietly go back to their respective tables. Cut to Pacey and Jack banging on the door.) Jack: Come on! Maybe we can jimmy it, I'll go get a knife. Pacey: Andie, come on! Open this door please! (Cut to inside the door, where Andie is. She sees Tim in the mirror.) Tim: Andie, stop crying. Andie: Go away! (Cut back outside the door.) Pacey: I'm not going anywhere, Andie. (Back inside) Andie: Not you! Tim! (Back outside) Pacey: (panicky) Is Tim in there with you? JACK! (Back inside) Andie: I said just go! You're not real! (She throws something into the mirror. Back outside.) Pacey: Andie? What was that? Are you alright? (Inside, Andie's crying. Outside.) Jack: ANDIE OPEN THE DOOR! (Back inside, Andie's leaned up against the door, crying.) Tim: They don't believe you, Andie. They think you're crazy, but you're not! Andie: Yes, I am. I am crazy. (Back to outside the door.) Pacey: Andie, I don't think you're crazy and Jack doesn't think you're crazy either, okay? (Back inside.) Andie: Yes, you do. (Back outside) Pacey: No, we don't. I believe you, Andie. I believe that you're seeing Tim right now and that you're talking to him, but you know what? It's not fair that Tim can see me but I can't see him. So I need you to tell me what he's saying. (Back inside) Tim: I'll take care of you. Pacey: (from outside) Okay? Tim: You can't trust anyone else. They don't understand. Andie: He says you don't understand. (Back outside.) Pacey: Tell Tim that he's wrong. I may not understand everything that's going on with you right now, Andie, but I understand you. Tell Tim that. (Cut to back inside the door.) Tim: You have to choose Andie. Let me take care of you. I'll make you better. Andie: I can't...I can't choose. (Cut to back outside. Jack has his head in his hands worried.) Pacey: No, Andie, Tim's right. You do. You do have to choose. Andie: No, I don't want to, I can't. Pacey: (sincerely and emotionally) You have to, Andie. You have to choose, and I'm begging you from the bottom of your heart, to please choose me. (There's no movement on either side.) Pacey: (scared) Open this door, come out, and choose me. (Very emotionally) You are so special. You give so much to everybody around you, and you know what, Andie? I need you more than Tim does and so does Jack. Andie: That's not true. Pacey: My life began when I met you Andie, and you never gave up on me so I'm not going to give up on you. So please, Andie, (almost in tears) for the love of God, come out here and choose me. Please... (Cut to Andie inside the door. She's looking at Tim and starting to cry a little harder. She's slowly raising her hand for the door handle. She pulls herself up and Jack and Pacey back away from the door. She opens it a little and Pacey moves closer and grabs her in a hug, she's still crying.) Pacey: C'mere, c'mere.You're alright. It's okay. You're okay. (Cut to Pacey and Jack walking down from upstairs.) Jack: She's down for the count. Pacey: So what do we do now? Jack: Well, for starters, call my dad. Pacey: Jack, think about what you're saying... Jack: Well, no one's less happy about the idea than I am but he needs to know... Pacey: Your father wasn't there for your mother, what makes you think he's going to be there for Andie? Jack: Andie needs help. More than you or I or any one person can give her, my father can afford that kind of help! Pacey: Maybe she just needs time to heal. I mean, time could heal her. Jack: No, not with this... Pacey: You don't know that, Jack. Jack: Yes I do! This is what happened with my mother. You know, at first it was just like this. A few minor episodes here and there and by the time anybody wanted to deal with it, she was too far gone. The doctors they...they gave us this clinical explanation. They said that she had repressed her grief to the point where she couldn't experience it with anyone. Her conscience had to create someone to experience it with. I remember feeling so small and helpless when I heard that. And I wanted so badly to believe that there was something I could do. Pacey: Go call your dad. (Cut to Jen and Gail walking down the street.) Gail: Thank you, Jennifer. Jen: For? Gail: My sign. I got it tonight. Althought the shenanigans were a little (missed word) for my taste. Jen: Hey! I had short notice. So does that mean that you're going to stay in Capeside? Gail: I never thought that I would. Every part of me wanted to flee this town and rebuild but when I was holding him on the dance floor in my arms I realized that I could move 10,000 miles away and never let Mitch go... (Jen smiles.) Gail: He felt it, too. I'm as sure of that as I am of anything. (All of a sudden she spots Mitch and Mrs. Kennedy further down the docks. Gail runs off and Jen looks at Mitch and Mrs. Kennedy quizzically. Jen chases after Gail. Close up of Mitch and Mrs. Kennedy about to kiss and then the camera scans across the water to Dawson and Joey in a boat. Joey has her back leaning against Dawson's chest sitting between his legs.) Joey: If I don't eat another French meal for as long as I live, it won't be too soon. Dawson: But I thought it was a pretty successful evening! Joey: (sarcastically) Yeah... Dawson: (quietly) So far. (Joey leans her head up and they start kissing. Dawson slides the shoulder of her cardigan down. Joey pulls away smiling.) Joey: Okay, confession time. Dawson: Yeah... Joey: By any chance did you think that by planning this romantic dinner we would end up, uh....closing the deal? Dawson: Joey Potter! You vulgar little thing! (Joey smiles and drops her mouth open.) Dawson: I prefer the term consumating their ultimate desires. Joey: Oh...okay. (She laughs and sets her face on her hand.) Dawson: (disappointedly) I didn't know the notion was that proposterous... (Joey looks up and kisses him and smiles.) Joey: It's not. I thought about it, too... Dawson: (whispers) But the night is still young... Joey: (whispers back) So are we... Dawson: Okay. But you said you thought about it... Joey: Yes, thought, Dawson. Dawson: You actually considered-thought about it or just ordinarily thought about it? Joey: (smiling) What difference does it make! Dawson: I'm a teenage guy! It makes all the difference in the world. (They kiss again.) Joey: I considered and thought about it. Dawson: Well, that's good. Considered's very good. (They kiss again.) Joey: Okay, let's go, Turbo... Dawson: Okay. (Joey moves and Dawson gets up to go to the other side.) Joey: Be careful.. (He sits down and starts rowing.) Dawson: So when you say you've considered it...you mean thought about it considered it or just considered it considered it. Joey: Would you just shut up and row! Dawson: I love it when you're forceful! (Joey rolls her eyes and smiles.) (Cut to Andie's bedroom. She's asleep and she turns in her bed to the other side where Pacey's sitting. She opens her eyes.) Pacey: Hey there. Andie: I'm so sorry, Pacey. Pacey: You're supposed to still be asleep. Andie: (scared) What's going to happen to me? Pacey: Well, you'll go see some more doctors, get the right medications, and you'll be fine, Andie. Andie: But what if I'm not? Pacey: I'm sorry, pal, that's just not in the cards. (He wipes away a tear on her face.) Andie: I'm so scared, Pacey.. Pacey: I know you are, Andie, and I am, too, okay? Andie: I don't want to lose you. Pacey: You're not going to lose me. Not not and not ever. Andie: I love you, so much. Pacey: I love you, too. (Andie lays her head on his shoulder. Cut to ending credits.)

Dawson decides to take Joey out to dinner to celebrate their first month together. Mitch Leery also makes reservations at the same restaurant, and when the management fail to realise there are two Leery parties, all four are forced to sit together. Miss Kennedy, Dawson and Joey fight causing Miss Kennedy to leave. Later, Jen (who is now living at the Leery house) arrives with Gail, which inspires a plan to get Gail and Mitch together again. Also reunited are Andie and her deceased brother. Pacey and Jack catch on that she thinks he is with her, but it is just a figment of her imagination. After a showdown with Andie, Jack and Pacey engineer a plan to aid her medical recovery.

fd_Merlin_05x08

fd_Merlin_05x08_0

Lower Town A hooded figure sneaks into the castle grounds, injuring his arm on the way. Guinevere's honour guard spots him. Sir Leon: Stop! Show yourself. The boy lowers his hood. Guinevere: Oh, he's just a boy. Sir Leon: Out here in the middle of the night? Guinevere: There's no need for your sword. The boy kneels to her. Guinevere: Come. Gwen reaches out to him and the boy stands. Guinevere: Where are you going? Daegal: Been catching frogs. Sir Leon: Frogs? Guinevere: It's a full moon, Leon. We used to do it. Come on, you should be in bed. Off you go. The boy bows. Daegal: Thank you, my lady. [SCENE_BREAK] Royal chambers Gwen enters to find Arthur and Merlin arranging garlands around the bed. Guinevere: Oh, Arthur, that is so sweet. You've gone to all this trouble. And gilly flowers, my favourite. You remembered. Gwen puts her arms around his neck. Arthur: Mm-hmm. Guinevere: You miss me. Arthur: Mm. Arthur stops, looking up at Merlin. Arthur: Merlin, er, it's late. You should probably get some sleep. Merlin walks toward the door. Merlin: Sire. Guinevere: Oh, Merlin. Before you go, I'd love a hot bath. Gwen giggles as Arthur sweeps her up in his arms. Merlin: Certainly, my lady. Merlin leaves and Arthur carries Gwen to the bed. [SCENE_BREAK] Castle Tunnels The boy uses a key to enter the tunnels. He places the key above door frame. [SCENE_BREAK] Kitchens Merlin prepares hot water for Gwen's bath. Merlin hears the door creak open and sees the boy standing there. Merlin: Who are you? Daegal: My name is Daegal. Merlin: How'd you get in here? Daegal: It wasn't difficult. Merlin: Really? Get out. Daegal: Please, it's my sister. She's sick. She needs a physician. Merlin: Well, bring her to Gaius. Daegal: I can't. It's too dangerous for our kind. Daegal shows Merlin a druid symbol on his arm. Daegal: I need you to come with me. She needs your help or she will die. Merlin: I'm not a physician. Merlin hears footsteps and pulls the boy inside the room. Daegal: She's only six. She has the sweating sickness. I'm begging you. You are her only chance. Merlin: How far is she? Daegal: The Valley of the Fallen Kings. Merlin: That's more than half a day away. Daegal: She won't last much longer. You must come now. Merlin: No. Can't. Daegal stares at him. Merlin: I can't. Daegal: I have risked my life to save her. Please tell me it was not in vain. Merlin: Go, get out of here. Go. Daegal: Will you help her? Merlin hesitates. Merlin: Meet me... at the entrance to the Darkling woods at first light. Daegal nods and leaves. [OPENING TITLES] [SCENE_BREAK] Physician's chambers Gaius: You don't even know who this boy is. Merlin: He's a druid. Gaius: He broke into the castle like a thief. Merlin: How else was he going to reach me? Gaius: The journey to the Valley of the Fallen Kings, Merlin, it's a den of murderers, cutthroats. Merlin: It is dangerous. Gaius: It's a long way north of dangerous. Merlin: What am I supposed to do? Let this girl die? Gaius: The journey there and back is going to take you the best part of the day. How are you going to keep it from Arthur? Merlin: I'm sure you'll think of something. Gaius: Me?! Merlin: Sarrum of Amata is arriving today. Arthur'll be too busy to notice where I am. Gaius: Merlin. Merlin: I promised the boy and I can't go back on it now. I'll be back by nightfall. Merlin exits and walks right through the front gate unnoticed. [SCENE_BREAK] Darkling woods Merlin: Sorry I'm late. Daegal: I thought you weren't coming. Merlin: I was bringing you some breakfast. It's fresh. Daegal: It's good of you to do this. Merlin: I only hope I can help your sister. Daegal: Did you get in trouble? Merlin: No. Daegal: But you're the king's servant. Merlin: Arthur won't even notice I'm gone. [SCENE_BREAK] Royal chambers (morning) Arthur: Merlin? Arthur searches for something. Guinevere enters. Arthur: Merlin! Guinevere: What is it? Arthur: I can't find my comb. Guinevere: Have you looked? Arthur: Everywhere. Arthur sits on the bed. Gwen walks over to the nightstand and picks up the comb, holding it in front of Arthur. Arthur: It must've been under something. Guinevere: Your nose. Gwen taps Arthur's nose with the comb. Arthur: You just have this way of seeing things. Guinevere: Yes, two of them. They're called eyes. Arthur: Very beautiful they are, too. Arthur draws Gwen close. Guinevere: Don't try and get out of this. Gwen combs Arthur's hair. Arthur: Out of what? Guinevere: How hopeless you are. Arthur: I am. I'm hopelessly in love. Arthur draws Gwen in for a kiss, but she puts the comb between their lips. Guinevere: You need to prepare for the Sarrum's arrival. Arthur lets go as Gwen pushes him and he flops backward onto the bed. She tosses the comb on his stomach and exits. Arthur: Oh, yes. That. Do you know where my robe...? Gwen is gone. Arthur: ...s are? [SCENE_BREAK] Physician's chambers (day) Arthur enters. Arthur: Merlin! Gaius: Er, he's garnering herbs, sire. Arthur: But I need him, now. Gaius: Well, he may be some time. Arthur: Where is he? Gaius: He's gone in pursuit of a young agrimonia. Arthur: A what? Gaius: Agrimonia, sire. A noble, but shy plant, not easy to find, and it could take him all day. Arthur: All day? Gaius: It is invaluable, sire. Its properties open up both the liver and the spleen. Arthur: He's in the tavern, isn't he? Gaius: No, sire! Arthur: Well, when he's finished opening up his liver and his spleen, tell him he has exactly one hour to sober up and get to my chambers. We've a guest to prepare for. [SCENE_BREAK] Darkling woods (day) Merlin: Here. Merlin hands a flask to Daegal. Daegal gasps in pain as he lifts it to his lips. Merlin: What's wrong? Daegal: I fell getting into the citadel. Merlin: Here, let me have a look. Daegal: It's my sister that needs caring for, not me. Merlin: Wait. We've a long journey ahead of us. You don't want this getting any worse. Merlin bandages Daegal's arm. Merlin: It helps slow the blood flow, take away the swelling. Daegal: Where'd you learn all this? Merlin: Gaius. When I first came to Camelot, he took me in, taught me everything that I know. What about you? Your family? Daegal: I only have a sister. Merlin: Your parents? Daegal: My mother's dead. Merlin: She was a druid too? Daegal nods. Daegal: Gaius taught you well. You're lucky to have him. Merlin: I am. Come on. Merlin gives Daegal a hand up. [SCENE_BREAK] Royal chambers (morning) A knock at the door. Arthur fastens his trousers. Arthur: Yes? Gaius enters. Gaius: He's still not returned. Arthur: How am I to get dressed? Gaius: Ha, well, surely that's not too difficult, sire. Arthur: Really? You think you can do it? Gaius is surprised. Arthur takes off his nightshirt. Arthur: Right. Come on, then, Gaius. Arthur throws his night shirt on the bed, then bends over with his arms stretched out to have Gaius put a shirt over his head. Gaius stares. Arthur looks up. Arthur: Shirt. Gaius makes an "Oh" expression. Arthur: Quickly. Gaius picks up a shirt and Arthur gets back into shirt-dressing position. Gaius and Arthur struggle to get the shirt on. Arthur: What are you doing? Gaius: It's stuck. Arthur: Can't be. Gaius: It's too small. Arthur struggles and rips something. He finally gets his head through and looks at the shirt. Arthur: It's Guinevere's nightdress. Gaius gives another "Oh" expression. [SCENE_BREAK] Darkling woods (day) Daegal: I tell you, if I catch this fly, I'm going to eat it. Merlin: (chuckle) Here. Better for you. Merlin hands Daegal an apple. Merlin: Here. Merlin hands Daegal an apple. Daegal: Don't you like them? Merlin: They're my favourite. Daegal: Then why are you giving it to me? Merlin: I don't need it. I had a big breakfast. Daegal: Why are you being like this? People I've met, they're...not like you. They don't care. I don't matter. Merlin: Don't ever think that. We all matter. Have a drink. Merlin hands him the flask. Daegal: Thank you. Merlin: Come on. [SCENE_BREAK] Tunnels and woods Gwen takes the key from above the gate and exits the same way Daegal entered. Gwen leaves a note at the base of a tree. [SCENE_BREAK] Royal chambers (day) Gaius: You're very quiet, sire. Arthur: Pfft. Can you blame me? Gaius: Sarrum does have a reputation. Arthur: Even my father feared him. They say he takes joy in impaling men. Gaius: Not just men, sire. Women and children, too. He also has a fondness for assassinating his friends. Arthur: I doubt we'll ever be that close. Although, we do share one thing: a hatred for Morgana. Gaius: So you've heard the rumours. He once had her under lock and key. Arthur: I'm hoping he'll tell us more. Gaius: Given Sarrum's reputation, are you certain it's wise to seek an alliance? Arthur: If we're to achieve peace in the five kingdoms, we've got little choice. I don't agree with his regime, Gaius, but dealing with him may be the only way of achieving our aims. Gaius: You're right, of course. You are becoming a true statesman, Arthur. I hope you realise that. Arthur: I'm going to be late. I'll tell you this, Gaius, Sarrum wouldn't put up with an idle-brained servant like Merlin. He's got a lot to answer for. Gaius: He certainly has. [SCENE_BREAK] Darkling woods (day) Daegal stops walking and Merlin looks back. Merlin: What is it? You're arm? Daegal shakes his head. Merlin: We need to get to your sister. Daegal hesitates. Merlin: When you last saw her, how bad was she? Daegal: I told you, the life had nearly gone from her. Daegal walks forward and hands the apple back to Merlin. Daegal: Here, I don't want it. Merlin senses something's wrong, but follows Daegal. [SCENE_BREAK] Darkling woods (day) Morgana fetches the note that Gwen left. She reads it and smirks. [SCENE_BREAK] Darkling woods (day) Merlin hears a twig snap and looks up to see bandits patrolling. Merlin ducks behind a tree and calls silently to Daegal. Merlin: (telepathy) Daegal, bandits. Daegal keeps walking. Merlin: (telepathy) Get down. Daegal keeps walking. Merlin grabs him and pulls him into hiding. Daegal: What are you doing? Merlin: Shh! Daegal sees the bandits. Merlin: (whisper) Did you hear me? Daegal: No. Merlin knows Daegal is not a druid. Daegal: Thank you. You saved my life. Merlin: It's not safe yet. Keeping low, Merlin helps Daegal stand up. Merlin: Come on. The sooner we get to your sister, the better. [SCENE_BREAK] Main courtyard (day) Arthur and his knights greet Sarrum's party. Gwen stands on the balcony. Arthur: We are most grateful to the Sarrum for accepting our invitation and gracing our palace with his presence. We welcome him and his warriors with friendship. Sarrum: The last time I met you, you were ten years old. Uther held a tournament in your honour. Arthur: I fight my own tournaments now. Sarrum: Well, we shall enjoy putting you to the test. [SCENE_BREAK] Valley of The Fallen Kings Daegal: We're here. She's just the other side of those trees. Merlin: What's wrong? Daegal: Nothing. I just hope she's still alive. Merlin approaches the place. Merlin: There's no one here. Why have you brought me here? What is this? Daegal: I can explain. Merlin grabs Daegal's arm angrily. Merlin: You're not a druid. Merlin pulls up Daegal's sleeve, revealing that the druid symbol is rubbing off. Merlin: Who are you? Merlin sees Morgana. She throws him with magic, knocking him unconscious. Morgana: You've done well. I knew it wouldn't be difficult. Merlin has a weakness for outcasts. Morgana throws Daegal a purse full of coins. Morgana: Especially druids. Daegal breathes heavily. Daegal: Why are you doing this? Morgana: Because Merlin has meddled in my plans once too often. Morgana crouches over Merlin. Morgana: The agony you feel...you'll be glad when death comes. Morgana uncorks a bottle and pours black liquid down Merlin's throat. She kicks him down the hill. Daegal rushes to the edge to look down at him. Daegal: You really going to kill the king? Morgana: Hold your tongue. Not a word of this to anyone. You're forgetting, I still have a few drops left. Morgana leaves. Daegal looks down at Merlin, then leaves. [SCENE_BREAK] Banquet Hall (night) Arthur: I feel we have much in common. We share many allies and friends. Also an enemy. Sarrum: Sorcery. Arthur: There is a rumour that you held Morgana prisoner. Is it true? This catches Gwen's attention. Sarrum: She's nothing to be feared. I kept her like an animal. Arthur seems slightly disturbed. Arthur: How did you capture her? She's...a sorceress, a high priestess. Sarrum: I found her weakness. Everyone has one, even a high priestess. A young dragon. Her love for that creature caused her to suffer more than she ever imagined possible. But not more than she deserved. I knew that she wouldn't dare use magic against me, not while her beloved creature was at risk of harm. Arthur stares. Sarrum: Such a shame. All that power, all that beauty, abandoned, forgotten in a living grave. Flashback to Morgana's imprisonment with Aithusa. Gwen looks away from Sarrum. Arthur: You're a harsh judge, Lord Sarrum. Sarrum: When it comes to sorcery, we must be merciless. I was not merciless enough. Morgana escaped. A lapse on my part, but I will not be so foolish again. Not that her time with me was entirely wasted. As the dragon grew, the pit became too small. Gradually the creature was crippled and twisted. At night you could hear its cries. They were even more heartbreaking than Morgana. Arthur and Gwen are both repulsed. Gwen stands. Guinevere: I hope the Sarrum will forgive me if I retire for the night. Sarrum gives his consent. Gwen leaves with a smile. [SCENE_BREAK] Woods (night) Gwen leaves the castle and rides to meet Morgana. Morgana: My lady. They embrace. Guinevere: What of Merlin? Morgana: He's gone to his death, along with everything he knows. And the Sarrum? Guinevere: He's feasting with Arthur as we speak. Morgana: Then we must talk quickly. We cannot afford an alliance between Amata and Camelot. It would put the throne beyond my reach forever. Gwen shakes her head with a sigh. Morgana: What is troubling you? Guinevere: Sarrum. Are we right to enlist such a man? Is there not another way? Morgana: Do you not see how perfect this plan is? The Sarrum's reputation precedes him. There's no deadlier assassin in the five kingdoms. Arthur will not stand a chance. Guinevere: You're sure he'll agree? Morgana: You're forgetting how well I know this man. For two years, his was the only voice I heard. I know the Sarrum. I know his lust for power. He will not refuse your offer. He will think he can control you, but he will reckon without me. Guinevere: And once Arthur is dead? Morgana: The knights will turn on your guest and make you their queen. Gwen smiles. Morgana: But you must promise me something. You must make sure the Sarrum's last moments are filled with agony. Guinevere: It will be my pleasure. [SCENE_BREAK] Valley of The Fallen Kings Merlin wakes, weak and injured. He tries to heal himself with magic and fails. [SCENE_BREAK] Physician's chambers Gaius wakes from the table to find Merlin still gone. [SCENE_BREAK] Royal chambers Gwen helps Arthur dress. Arthur: You're much better at this than Gaius. Guinevere: I was a servant, remember? Arthur: You were always much more than that. Gwen tightens his chest strap too much and Arthur grunts. Guinevere: Stop moving then. Arthur: Ow. I want Merlin back, where is he? Guinevere: You mustn't be hard on him. Arthur: I am a bit worried. You don't think something's happened to him, do you? Guinevere: He's probably overworked. Maybe just once, let him enjoy himself. Arthur: You're right. Guinevere: Besides, you've got more important things to worry about. She smiles. Guinevere: There. [SCENE_BREAK] Training grounds (day) Sarrum watches as Arthur fights one of his men, Albin. Arthur is actually struggling; Sarrum chuckles. Gwen watches from the window and smiles at Arthur's floundering attempts. Albin forces Arthur to his knees and poises for a killer blow. The knights of Camelot draw their swords and Sarrum's warriors ready their spears. Albin looks to Sarrum who holds up a hand to stop. The knights relax and Sarrum approaches Arthur. Arthur doesn't look too pleased by his defeat. Sarrum: You fight bravely. Arthur: Your man wields a sword better than any fighter I've ever met. Sarrum: I trained him myself. Perhaps one day, I'll teach you. Arthur: Yeah, I'd be honoured. Sarrum pats Arthur on the shoulder and leaves. Arthur seems pleased by the encounter. Gwen thinks for a moment, then smiles. [SCENE_BREAK] Palace corridor Gwen waits for Sarrum, then turns the corner to encounter him. Sarrum: My lady. Guinevere: Your man showed great skill to beat my husband. Sarrum: The men of Amata are born with swords in their hands. Sarrum is about to move on. Guinevere: I can't help but believe that Camelot would benefit from a leader like you. Sarrum: Mm. Guinevere: You should have let him die. Sarrum looks back at his guards and motions for them to leave. Sarrum: Must have misheard you. Guinevere: I don't think so. Sarrum: You're not happy with your husband? Guinevere: I'd be happy if he died tomorrow. If someone can make that happen, I would ensure that they were richly rewarded. Sarrum: I'm not sure I believe you. Guinevere: Hm. Gwen hears footsteps. Guinevere: Meet me outside the king's solar tonight. We can speak openly there. Gwen leaves and Sarrum considers their conversation. [SCENE_BREAK] Valley of the Fallen Kings (day) Merlin is dying. Daegal returns, shakes him, and gives him water, which wakes Merlin. Merlin glares at Daegal. Merlin: You came back. Why? Daegal: I couldn't leave you to die. Merlin: You're too late. Daegal: No, I can help. You're a physician. You tell me what to do. Merlin: There's nothing. Daegal: There must be a cure. You tell me which herbs and I'll find them for you. Merlin struggles with the pain. Daegal: Come on, what do we need? Merlin: Rue. It's got yellow flowers. Daegal: And feathery leaves. Merlin: Milfoil. Daegal: Yarrow. Merlin: Ground into a tincture. Daegal takes off to find them. Merlin: Hurry...hurry. Later, Daegal returns with the cure. Daegal: Here. He supports Merlin's head to drink the cure. Daegal: Here. Daegal offers Merlin water, but Merlin refuses. Merlin: Nothing else. Merlin convulses and goes still. Daegal looks upset. [SCENE_BREAK] Royal Chambers (night) Gaius knocks and enters as Gwen walks behind the curtain. Gaius: Sire? Gwen's annoyed. Gaius: Arthur? Gwen pauses, then sweeps around the curtain and greets him pleasantly. Guinevere: Gaius. What is it? Gaius: I was looking for the king. Guinevere: He's at a meeting in the council chambers. Can I help? Gaius: Merlin. I haven't seen him since yesterday morning. Guinevere: Oh, dear. I do hope there isn't anything wrong. Gaius: I was wondering, perhaps, if we should send out a search party. Guinevere: I'm sure there's no need just yet, especially with the Sarrum here. Given his reputation, I think it best we keep the garrison at full strength. Gaius nods. Gaius: Indeed. Gwen smiles and walks to the door. Guinevere: I'll ask the servants if they've seen him. Gaius: Thank you, milady. Gaius seems slightly suspicious. [SCENE_BREAK] King's solar (night) Sarrum waits for Gwen. Guinevere: Forgive me, I was waylaid. Sarrum: Speak. Guinevere: I have a simple proposition, one that would be mutually beneficial. You kill Arthur, I assume the throne, and in gratitude give one third of Camelot's lands to Amata. Sarrum: You think the people will accept this? Guinevere: Without a king, I will insist that it's a necessary price for our protection. Sarrum: And the knights? Guinevere: They will remain loyal to me. They'll do whatever I say. Sarrum: How do we kill him? The king is surrounded by armed guards at all times. Guinevere: Guards who answer to me. You appoint the assassin, I will deliver the means. Sarrum: I have just the man. Guinevere: Then make him ready. Arthur has proposed a treaty. The signing tomorrow will provide us with the perfect opportunity. Gwen smiles and leaves. [SCENE_BREAK] Valley of the Fallen Kings (night) Daegal sits with the unconscious Merlin. Merlin stirs. Daegal: You're alive. Merlin sits up slowly. Daegal: You have to believe me, I did not know what Morgana intended. Merlin: You betrayed me. Daegal: She offered me money. You've seen what it's like. Merlin: Do you know what Morgana's planning? Daegal: No. I met the Lady Morgana and the queen only once. Merlin: I don't believe you. Daegal looks away. Merlin: Please, whatever you know... Daegal: I think they mean to kill the king. Merlin starts to get up. Daegal: What are you doing? Merlin: I need to warn Arthur before it's too late. Merlin leaves. Daegal watches him, then follows. Merlin struggles up a hill and sees bandits sitting at camp. Merlin: Bandits. They won't see us? Daegal: No. Merlin: We'll edge around the outside. Daegal: They'll have lookouts. Merlin: We don't have a choice. We need to get back to Camelot. Merlin runs around the outside of the camp; Daegal follows. Merlin falls down the hill towards the bandits; Daegal helps him up. The bandits close in on them. Merlin: Go. Daegal: No. Merlin: I can look after myself. Daegal: I'm not going to leave you this time. Merlin: Get to safety. The bandits surround them. Merlin: If you value your lives, you won't take another step. Daegal: What are you doing? Merlin: Trust me. Daegal: Here. It's all the money we have. Daegal throws Morgana's gold to the bandits. The bandit points his sword at Merlin. Bandit: You. Empty your pockets. Merlin: Last chance. Bandit: You don't even have a sword. Merlin: I don't need one. Magic flashes in Merlin's eyes and the bandit is thrown backward. Daegal is shocked and the bandits flee. Merlin: Let's go. Daegal follows. [SCENE_BREAK] Palace, corridor Sarrum and Gwen meet and Sarrum takes her hand and kisses it. Sarrum: My lady, how good to see you. Guinevere: I trust you passed a pleasant night. Sarrum: Most agreeable. They pass each other and Sarrum fingers the key she just gave him. [SCENE_BREAK] Palace, balcony corridor Sarrum walks with Albin. Sarrum: Arthur will be dead by sundown. And then all that stands in our way is a serving girl who plays at being a queen. [SCENE_BREAK] Woods (day) Daegal: You have magic, Merlin. Merlin: Yes. Daegal: And you live in Camelot. Does anyone know? Merlin stops to nurse his wounded leg. Merlin: Only Gaius. Daegal: Not Arthur? Merlin: No. And if he ever found out, he'd probably hang me. Daegal: But you still help him? Merlin: I have to. It's my job. Daegal: But he would kill you. Merlin: In his heart, he's a good man, and I know that one day he'll bring about a world we will dream of. Daegal: That must be hard. Merlin, you may be a warlock, but you need that treated. I'll help you, please. Pelase. [SCENE_BREAK] Physician's chambers Gaius checks Merlin's room, but he's still gone. [SCENE_BREAK] Royal chambers Gwen grooms herself as Gaius and Arthur enters. Gwen freezes as she overhears their conversation. Gaius: The bed has not been slept in. I fear he's in danger. Arthur: What do you mean? Gaius: We need to send a search party. Gwen steps out from behind her dressing screen. Guinevere: What's happened? Arthur: Merlin's gone missing. Guinevere: Oh, I knew I should've said something. Arthur, I feel terrible. This is my fault. I know where Merlin is. Gaius: Where? Guinevere: I shouldn't say. I promised him I wouldn't, but...he's gone to visit someone. Arthur: Who? Guinevere: He's not in danger. He's seeing a girl. Arthur: Merlin? Guinevere: Gaius, I'm sorry, but there is no reason to worry. Arthur: Except for the poor girl. Guinevere: I should've told you, but I don't think he wanted anyone to know. Gaius obviously knows she's lying. Gaius: Thank you, milady. Arthur: Good. Then we can get on with the signing. Gaius, you can help me get dressed. Gaius looks at Gwen, who smiles with a shrug and goes back to her grooming. [SCENE_BREAK] Woods Daegal bandages Merlin's leg. Merlin: You've done well. Daegal: Really? I don't think I've done many good things in my life. Merlin: Well, you've done something good now. See? I'm better. You've the gift. Daegal: Must be from my mother. Merlin: So that bit was true? Daegal: It was all true. Except about my sister. Merlin: She isn't sick? Daegal: (chuckle) I don't have a sister. Merlin: (exhale/chuckle) And you mother? She wasn't a druid? Daegal helps Merlin stand. Daegal: No, but she was like you. She had magic, and Uther killed her for it. Merlin: I'm sorry. Merlin looks at his leg. Merlin: Feels good. Merlin starts walking and Daegal follows. [SCENE_BREAK] Griffin staircase Gwen and Arthur walk down arm in arm. Arthur: What a momentous day this is for Camelot. Guinevere: Indeed, my lord. It marks the beginning of a new era. [SCENE_BREAK] Palace Albin tests a crossbow. Merlin and Daegal approach the citadel. Arthur and Sarrum enter the great hall with their entourages. Merlin looks for Arthur. Albin walks to his perch. Merlin stumbles on the stairs and conveniently grabs a spear for a crutch. The entourages gather near the round table and Albin takes his place. Merlin pauses, hearing the wind blow through an open door. Daegal: What's wrong? Merlin: This should be locked. Merlin and Daegal climb the spiral staircase that Albin just took. Sarrum stalls signing the treaty. He leans forward slowly, looking up as Albin takes aim. Gwen anticipates the moment. Merlin and Daegal step into the balcony and Albin switches his aim to kill them. Merlin magics the arrow past him. Daegal throws two knives and they drop for cover. Sarrum is about to sign, Gwen is anxious, Albin aims back at Arthur. Merlin magics the convenient spear at Albin, killing him and diverting Albin's shot into Sarrum's chest. Albin and Sarrum die. Arthur: Leon! Arthur points to the balcony. Gaius steps forward to check Sarrum. And Gwen nods to Arthur that she's all right. Knights follow Leon out. Gwen is upset by the failure. Merlin gets up to check Albin and view the scene below. Merlin turns to Daegal. Merlin: We did it. Daegal lies against the wall with a dagger in his stomach. Merlin goes to him. Daegal: Did I save Arthur? Merlin: Yes. Daegal: Did I do something good? Merlin nods. Daegal: Finally, eh? Daegal dies. Merlin: You did. [SCENE_BREAK] Royal chambers Arthur: I still can't believe how lucky I was. I owe that boy my life and I don't know who he was or where he's from. You need to make sure you give him a decent burial. Merlin: I'll do that. If you'll allow me the time. Merlin serves dinner. Arthur: Oh, so you can go and visit that girl again. Gwen looks at Arthur. Merlin: What? Arthur: The girl. Merlin: Don't have one. Arthur: That's not what Guinevere tells me. Merlin pauses, then turns to look at Gwen. She smiles at him. Arthur: So, why don't you tell us all about her? Merlin pours Arthur's wine, then looks at Gwen. She holds out her glass and raises her eyebrows. Merlin: Right. Merlin pours Gwen's drink. Arthur: And why you're walking with a limp. Gwen quirks an eyebrow at Merlin and they stare each other down. [SCENE_BREAK] Woods Merlin and Gaius stand by Daegal's grave. Merlin places a plant by it. Merlin: His life had only begun. Merlin and Gaius walk away. Merlin: It can't go on, Gaius. Gaius: Gwen? Merlin: We have to do something about her. Gaius: Yes, but the question is, "what?" Merlin strides with a determined look on his face.

When Daegal, a Druid boy, asks for Merlin's aid in helping his sick sister, Merlin agrees and begins the journey to the Valley of the Fallen Kings. This turns out to be a trap for Merlin set by Morgana. Daegal reconsiders, and saves Merlin. In the meantime, Arthur is entertaining the fearsome Lord Sarrum with peace treaties. Guinevere plots Arthur's assassination with the visiting warlord. Morgana and Gwen plan to double cross Sarrum, but Sarrum plans to do the same. On the day of the treaty signing, Sarrum positions an assassin to kill Arthur. Merlin and Daegal arrive just in time to save Arthur and kill Sarrum, but Daegal dies in the process. Merlin and Gaius bury Daegal, and Merlin knows that something must be done about Gwen.

fd_The_Vampire_Diaries_02x17

fd_The_Vampire_Diaries_02x17_0

[Gilbert's House] (Isobel is at the door. She's looking at Elena. Jenna is stunned) Isobel: Hello, Elena. It's nice to see you again (Jenna looks at Elena) Jenna: Again? (Elena doesn't know what to say) Isobel: So you're the woman who's dating my husband. I need to speak to Elena. May I come in? Elena: N-n-no. Don't... don't invite her in Isobel: I need to talk to you, Elena Elena: No! (She slams the door at Isobel's face and looks at Jenna, who's crying) Jenna: You knew she was still alive? Rick? John? Did they know? Elena: I can explain everything, Jenna Jenna: No Elena: No. Jenna, please (Jenna runs upstairs. Elena goes after her) Elena: Jenna, please. No, wait. Jenna, please wait (Jenna's goes into her bedroom and slams the door. Elena is outside, at the door) Jenna: Jenna, you have to talk to me. I... I need to explain what's going on. Jenna, please (Jenna is sitting on the floor, crying) [Salvatore's House] (Stefan and Damon are going down the stairs) Stefan: Isobel just showed up at their front doorstep Damon: What's she doing here? Stefan: I don't know. That's what I'm gonna go find out (Katherine rejoins them) Katherine: I don't think that you should tell her that I'm here Stefan: What? Why? Katherine: It's better if she and John not know that I stayed in town after I got out of the tomb Damon: You're the one in cahoots with them. You made a deal with John that almost got me killed Katherine: I did what I had to to get out of the tomb. Now I'm reconsidering my alliance (She turns herself but Stefan interrupts her) Stefan: What do you know? Katherine: I know that I want Klaus dead, which puts me squarely on team you. Besides, if you two ever need me to swap places with Elena again, the less people know that I'm here, the better. Think about it, Stefan. Come on. Be smart Stefan: Tell you what. You two, uh... Call Alaric and let him know that his wife's just showed up on his girlfriend's doorstep (He looks at them and leaves. Katherine and Damon look at each other) [Gilbert's house] (Elena opens the door to Alaric) Alaric: Hey. Is she up yet? Elena: She won't come out of her room Alaric: What'd you tell her? Elena: Nothing. She won't talk to me Alaric: We're gonna have to fix this, Elena (Jenna goes down the stairs) Elena: Hey Alaric: Jenna Jenna: I don't want you here, Rick. You need to go Alaric: Ok, listen. I can't begin to imagine what you must be feeling right now Jenna: Rage and betrayal would pretty much cover it (She puts her jacket and takes her bag) Elena: Where are you going? Jenna: I'm going to stay on campus. I have a thesis to write, and I don't want to be in this house Alaric: Jenna, please just stop. Let us explain to you exactly what is going on Jenna: Elena, I need you to go to the Lockwood's' today and accept the historical society's check for your mom's foundation Elena: Ok, but, Jenna, please just... Jenna: I don't have it in me to hear any more lies from you (She leaves and closes the door) Elena: Jenna, just... (John goes out of the kitchen) John: Let her go. It's better that she's not here, what with everything that's going on but maybe had you been a little more honest with her from the beginning, this... (Alaric punches him in the face) Alaric: sorry, Elena (He leaves. Elena looks at John with a smile) Elena: You know this is your fault, right? John: Right [Caroline's house] (Caroline goes out of her house and goes to her car. She's on the phone with Stefan) Caroline: I can't find him anywhere. He's not at home. He's not answering his phone Stefan: How could you let him go? Caroline: My mom walked in. He took off. I didn't know what to do Stefan: Did your mom hear anything? Caroline: No. She just thinks we're fighting but he knows about me, and he's freaking out about Vicki Stefan: All right. Listen. You have to find him. You have to calm him down. Compel him if you have to. Is he still on the vervain? Caroline: I slip it into his soda when he's at work, but I didn't get to last night, so it's out of his system. He has a catering shift at the Lockwood's' today. I'm gonna try there (She hangs up and tries to call Matt but he doesn't answer) [Gilbert's house] (Elena and Stefan are in her bedroom) Elena: Ah, this is bad. Between Isobel and Jenna and now Matt, this is disaster bad Stefan: Yeah (John rejoins them) John: Elena, can you come downstairs, please? I need to talk to you Elena: Heh. I have nothing to say to you John: Please. It's important. You, too, Stefan (They go downstairs. Isobel goes out of the kitchen) Isobel: I asked John for a do-over (Elena looks at John) Elena: You invited her in? John: She has information about Klaus. Please, just listen to her, ok? (Elena looks at Stefan) Stefan: All right. What do you know? (John, Isobel, Elena and Stefan are in the kitchen) Isobel: Since I was last here, I've been doing everything possible to find Klaus. We knew our best chance was to find him before he could find you Stefan: Best chance at what? John: Keeping Elena alive Elena: You don't get to talk, ok, not after everything you've done Stefan: Were you able to find Klaus? Isobel: No. Nobody knows where he is but there are these rumors that are flying around. That a doppelganger exists John: Which means any vampire that wants to get in favor with Klaus will be lining up to capture you Elena: I'm not buying any of this (She looks at Isobel) Elena: The last time that you were here, you made it clear that you didn't give a damn about me. Now all of a sudden I'm supposed to believe that you want to help? John: Klaus has been obsessed with finding Katherine for centuries. All it would take was any one of those 1864 tomb vampires to spread the word around that Katherine was still alive and it would bring him straight here to Mystic Falls, where you were bound to be discovered, so we killed them Elena: And almost killed Stefan and Damon in the process (Isobel gets up and gets closer to Elena) Isobel: I have a safe house that I can take you to. The deed is in your name. No vampires can get in without your permission, not even me. Let me help you Elena: You wanna help? Then get the hell out of my house [Jonas and Lukas' apartment] (Damon opens the door. Bonnie and Jeremy are with him. He enters) Damon: Yep. Everybody's dead (Luka's corpse is in the living room) Bonnie: We should pack up the grimoires. They spent years collecting them. I wanna make sure they're safe (Damon looks at Luka's corpse) Damon: You know, we could just get another match and cremate 'em Bonnie: Don't be disrespectful. Not to him Damon: Fine. I'll bury him Jeremy: What exactly are we looking for? Bonnie: According to Luka's dad, one of these contains a spell that'll let me harness the energy that's left behind when a witch dies violently Damon: I didn't know you and father witch were so close Bonnie: We weren't but when he gave me my powers back, he gave me a message. If I can find the spot in town, where the old Salem witches were burned, I can harness their energy to use when I need it Damon: Great. We'll have to put that on our list of things to do today. Harness ancient dead-witch power Bonnie: You know where the witches were burned? Did I forget to mention that? (Jeremy is reading one of the grimoires) Jeremy: Are we gonna have to read through every one of these books till we find the right spell? Bonnie: Not exactly (She looks at the shell, closes her eyes and raises her hands. All of the books fall and one of them opens right in front of her. She takes it) Bonnie: It's this one Damon: Great. Grab the rest. Let's go [A house] (Isobel and her minion enter the house. She takes a bottle of wine from the bag) Isobel: Merci, Mon Cherie (She feels that someone's here. She rushes over the person and pushes her against the wall. It's Katherine. Katherine pushes her back and strangles her) Katherine: Nice house Isobel: Nicest foreclosure in town (Katherine smile. Isobel laughs) Isobel: Come here (They embrace each other) Isobel: It's good to see you, Katherine Katherine: I hear you've been busy Isobel: Yes, I have. I've been busy making a deal with Klaus to save your life (Isobel gives the bottle of wine to Katherine) Isobel: Here. A vintner I knew in Avignon (Katherine takes it, puts a finger in it and tastes it) Katherine: He's tasty (They are in the leaving room. Katherine pours blood from the bottle in wine glasses) Katherine: So what was with the surprise visit to the Gilbert house? Isobel: John told me Rick was dating auntie vanilla. I got jealous Katherine: You have obviously got John wrapped around your finger if he invited you in the house Isobel: He thinks I'm helping him protect Elena, so he's been very useful in keeping me informed on everything that's been going on Katherine: So tell me what you know Isobel: You were right. I couldn't get anywhere near Klaus, but I found my way to someone in his trusted circle. One of his witches Katherine: Klaus and his witches Isobel: He said that Klaus is willing to grant you your freedom if we deliver the moonstone and the doppelganger Katherine: I can get the moonstone Isobel: You know Katherine, you'd be betraying your Salvatore boys again Katherine: I was more than willing to play it their way if I had to, but they're floundering. Their witch has lost her powers, and they've used their only weapon to kill Elijah. If I stick with them, I'm dead. You showing up change everything [Salvatore's house] (Elena, Stefan and Damon are in the library) Elena: Do you really think that Isobel's telling the truth that word's gotten out about the doppelganger? Stefan: Look, I don't trust a word that she says, but I think we'd be stupid to ignore the warning Damon: You know, you should just stay here. It's better for us to keep an eye on you Stefan: What, in the house that any vampire can enter? No. Her house is safer Damon: Well, then we'll stay there Elena: So is that the plan? Neither of you will let me out of your sight again? Damon: Let me know when you come up with a better one Elena: Fine. Then one of you 2 bodyguards is gonna have to come with me to the Lockwood luncheon Stefan: That'd be me Damon: Not me. I have witch stuff to attend to with Bonnie Elena: Does that mean that you're taking her to the... Damon: Shh (Katherine rejoins them) Katherine: Don't get quiet on my account. If you have a plan to combat the impending vampire doom, please do tell (No one answer. Damon looks at Stefan) Katherine: Seriously, what is the plan to get us out of this mess, hmm? I delivered you a moonstone, a werewolf, and the dagger to lure and kill Klaus, a werewolf, and right now all you have is a moonstone. Or so you tell me Damon: No, we have it. It's in a very safe place Katherine: I've been honest with you. Time to return the favor Damon: Let me be honest with you. Don't mistake the fact that we haven't set you on fire in your sleep for trust (Elena looks at her and smiles) Katherine: Fine. Be that way (She leaves) [Lockwood's mansion] (Carol is talking with Sheriff Forbes) Sheriff Forbes: The marshal hasn't been able to figure out what caused the fire at the scene, but he did find blood... no body, just blood Carol: You think vampires were involved? Sheriff Forbes: I'm starting to assume the answer to that is always a yes (Caroline interrupts them) Caroline: Mrs. Lockwood, uh, have you seen Matt? I thought he was working a catering shift at today's brunch Carol: No, I haven't, honey. Sorry. But if you see him, could you ask if he's heard from Tyler? Caroline: Yeah, of course. Um, still no word from him? Carol: No. The note he left said he needed time to figure some things out, but I wish I knew where he was (Caroline sees Stefan and Elena) Caroline: Um, excuse me (She rejoins Stefan and Elena) Stefan: Hey. Any luck finding Matt? Caroline: None. What if he tells somebody? What if he tells everybody? Stefan: No, we just gotta find him and make sure that doesn't happen (He looks at Elena) Stefan: Do you have any idea where he would be? Elena: I wish I did, but he wasn't really one to run Caroline: You know, this wasn't how it was supposed to happen. You know, I was supposed to tell him at the right moment in the right way, and he was supposed to be ok with it because he loves me Elena: We'll help you find him. I just have to accept this thing for Jenna Caroline: All right. Well, call me when you're done, and I'll be out looking for him (She leaves) Stefan: Maybe he'll come around. You did [An abandoned house] (Damon, Bonnie and Jeremy arrive) Jeremy: Is this the spot Emily Bennett was killed, too? Damon: Founders thought it was poetic burning her where the other witches burned Bonnie: How do you know where the witches were burned? Damon: 'Cause I tried to save her. Emily was just my key to getting Katherine back before I knew what a nasty little bitch Katherine was (Jeremy laughs. They look at the house and enter and explore. Suddenly, Damon can't move) Damon: Whatever witchy prank you're playing, don't. It's not funny Bonnie: I'm not doing anything Damon: I can't move (Suddenly his skin burn) Damon: Oh, my ring's not working. Do something (She concentrates and closes her eyes. Damon can move again) Bonnie: I don't think the witches like you being here Jeremy: I guess this is the right place Damon: I'm gonna go wait outside (He leaves) [A Street] (Alaric goes to his car. Isobel is here) Isobel: Hi, Rick Alaric: Isobel. What do you want? Isobel: Just cleaning up some loose ends Alaric: Yeah, we don't have any loose ends Isobel: You may not. I do. I need to apologize to you Alaric: It's a little late for that Isobel: No, not for what I've done in the past. We're beyond that. Although I am sorry for outing you to your girlfriend. That was petty of me Alaric: Look, whatever jacked-up vampire amends that you're trying to make with me right now, I'm not interested Isobel: Of course not, because I compelled you to let me go. I realize that I don't wanna do what I have to do without you knowing how much I loved you and I did. I loved you so much. He's all yours (A man is behind Alaric he puts his hands next to Alaric's head. He falls on the floor, unconscious. Isobel leaves, she seems regretful) [Abandoned House] (Damon is waiting outside) Damon: Wanna hurry it up in there? (The door closes) Damon: Screw you, too, Emily. You know, you're on your own in there (He leaves) (Bonnie and Jeremy are inside) Bonnie: Can you hand me the grimoire? Jeremy: Look, are you sure about this? Bonnie: Are you worried about me? Jeremy: Yeah, of course I am (She takes the grimoire and kisses him) Bonnie: I'm sure (She opens the grimoire and sees a letter. She reads it. Voices are whispering around them) Jeremy: What is that? Bonnie: Spirits of the witches who died here, I can feel them Jeremy: All right. What are they saying? Bonnie: I can't-can't tell (She goes ahead) Jeremy: Where are you going? (She stops in a room) Bonnie: Here. This is it. Help me set the candles (The whispers are louder) Jeremy: What the hell are they saying? (She concentrates and closes her eyes. She reopens them) Jeremy: What is it? Bonnie: Nothing (All the candles are lighting at the same time) Bonnie: They're ready [Lockwood's mansion] (Everyone is sitting in one room. Carol is talking to them) Carol: And here to accept the donation to the Miranda Sommers Gilbert scholarship fund is Elena Gilbert (Elena smiles and rejoins Carol) (John is upstairs. Isobel is here) John: What are you doing here? Isobel: I'm creating a distraction (Her face change. She rushes over John and bites him) (Elena is accepting the check) Elena: The historical society was my mom's baby. She considered all of you family and would be honored and touched by this gift (Everyone hears a noise. They rush over the source of the noise and see John, unconscious on the floor. Elena is about to follow them but Katherine intercepts her and puts her hand on Elena's mouth) Katherine: Nice dress. Mind if I borrow it? (Stefan is looking at John's body and sees the bite mark on his neck. Carol rejoins him) Carol: Please, let the sheriff do her job (Sheriff Forbes rejoins them) Stefan: Uh, he's-he's bleeding. Is he ok? Sheriff Forbes: Yeah, I got it. I got it (She looks at John and turns to the crowd) Sheriff Forbes: You know what? Let's all back off. He just needs some air. Everything's fine (Stefan I in the other room, looking for Elena. He sees her but it's Katherine posing as Elena) Stefan: You ok? Katherine: I'm calling Damon Stefan: Let's get out of here. Come on (They're going to Elena's car. Katherine is on the phone. She's still posing as Elena) Katherine: It's Isobel, Damon. It's gotta be. Stefan: Tell him he needs to get over here and deal with John's body Katherine: You've got some serious explaining to do to the council about John being not so dead (She hangs up. Stefan pushes her against the car) Stefan: Where the hell is she? Huh? (She stabs him with a vervain syringe) Katherine: I'm sorry, Stef, but I can't have you following me (She tosses him into the shrubbery and leaves) [SCENE_BREAK] [Abandoned house] (Bonnie's eyes are closed. The voices around them keep getting louder. She begins to cry) Jeremy: Bonnie? You're scaring me (She screams) Jeremy: Bonnie! (He tries to get closer to her but he's thrown against the wall. Bonnie's screaming louder. Jeremy can't get up. Suddenly all the voices stop. Jeremy gets up and rushes over Bonnie. She's crying) Jeremy: Bonnie! You ok? Bonnie: I did it (He embraces her) Jeremy: It's okay [Lockwood's mansion] (Everybody's leaving) Carol: I'm sorry for the scare. It was just a bad fall. Paramedics are on their way (Everybody's out. Damon enters) Damon: Hey. How is he? Sheriff Forbes: He's dead (Damon looks at the body and sees the ring) Damon: He'll be fine in a couple hours Carol: What are you talking about? Damon, he's dead Damon: Well... Here's the thing. John's ring, it's an old Gilbert family heirloom that protects its owner from death by a supernatural entity Carol: But he's not breathing. He has no pulse Damon: He will be. Trust me. We're gonna need a cover story... epileptic fit, alcohol binge, banana peel, whatever works. But right now I just have to get him out of here (He leaves with John's body) (Sheriff Forbes goes out. She's on the phone with one of her deputies) Sheriff Forbes: Yeah. It's a false alarm at the Lockwood's'. Ok. Good. Thanks (Matt's waiting for her at her car) Matt: Sheriff Forbes Sheriff Forbes: Matt, what's wrong? Matt: I wanna see Vicki's file Sheriff Forbes: What? Matt: I want to see her file. I want to see how you covered up that she was killed by a vampire Sheriff Forbes: Matt, you need to calm down. You're upset. You don't know... (He catches her) Matt: Don't lie to me (She catches him and puts him in on the hood) Sheriff Forbes: Matt, you need to calm down now [Salvatore's house] (Damon dumps John on the ground, he's still dead. He has blood on his hands and on his shirt. He goes in the bathroom and washes his hands. He takes off his shirt. His phone rings. He answers. It's Stefan) Damon: Stefan? How'd I beat you and Elena home? What? (He looks into the soap bowl. The moonstone's not here. He throws the bowl on the ground) [Isobel's car] (Isobel's phone rings. It's Katherine. Elena is on the back seats, unconscious) Isobel: Are we good to go? Katherine: I'm at your house, but we have to hurry. Damon knows your lodging tricks. It will take him all of 20 minutes to find out where you're staying Isobel: We'll be long gone before that Katherine: Good. How far are you? Isobel: I'm sorry, Katherine (Elena wakes up) Isobel: I had to do what I was told. He wanted the moonstone and he wanted you (She hangs up) [Isobel's house] Katherine: He? He who? (She turns herself. The warlock is here. She rushes over him but he stops her with his powers. She screams and falls on the ground, unconscious) [Caroline's house] (Caroline is under the porch. She's leaving a message to Matt) Caroline: Hey, Matt, if you're listening to this that means you've listened to the last 25 messages I've left you, which all say the same thing, so... (Caroline enters the house. Matt's here) Caroline: You're here Matt: Your mom brought me here Caroline: My mom? Matt: I accused her of covering up Vicki's death and she threatened to arrest me Caroline: Did you tell her anything else? Matt: Nothing about you. I got the feeling she wasn't gonna believe anything I said, so I shut up. Then she brought me here to cool down, and then she got called away Caroline: Matt... (She gets closer to him but he steps back) Caroline: Why'd you stick around if you're still scared of me? Matt: Because I need to know more about Vicki, about you Caroline: I'll tell you anything you wanna know [Abandoned house] (Bonnie and Jeremy are outside) Jeremy: All right, well, there has to be something in the grimoire to help us translate that chant Bonnie: It was just a warning Jeremy: Heh. What kind of warning? Bonnie: It's not important Jeremy: Uh, look, it is important to me, ok? Bonnie: It's a lot of power to have access to. They're just telling me to be careful with it Jeremy: Well, exactly how much power can you draw from a hundred dead witches? (She closes her eyes and concentrates. The leaves fly around them. The sky turns black and we can hear the thunder. She opens her eyes and the weather goes back to normal) Bonnie: The answer to your question is a lot [Isobel's house] (Stefan and Damon arrive) Stefan: Think this is the house? Damon: Better be. It's the nicest foreclosure in town Stefan: Swear to God if she's not here... Damon: don't be such a pessimist (They enter the house) Stefan: I got upstairs (He goes upstairs. Damon looks at the rest of the house. Nobody's there. Damon sees Isobel's luggage. Stefan rejoins him) Damon: This is Isobel's stuff. It's definitely the right place Stefan: Where are they? Damon: I don't know, Stefan (They leave) [Grove Hill Cemetery] (Isobel's car is parked. She goes out) Isobel: Just because you can't be compelled doesn't mean I can't force you to come with me (Elena goes out of the car) Elena: So is that what happened? You were compelled to betray Katherine? Isobel: If I was, I couldn't tell you Elena: So you lied. You did find Klaus, didn't you? He knows where I am now. Are you taking me to him? (They stop in front of a headstone) Elena: What is this? (It's Isobel's headstone) Isobel: My parents, your grandparents, they put it here when it became clear that the police weren't gonna find my body. They visit every week, and they bring flowers, even though there's no one buried here. The Isobel they knew is dead. So maybe there's a part of me that's buried here, the-the human part, the part that I abandoned when I-when I choose to become a vampire, the part that used to dream about the day that she'd know her daughter Elena: What? (Isobel shrugs) Isobel: And instead you got to meet the other part... The part that would betray her own flesh and blood (Her phone rings. She answers. It's the warlock) Warlock: I have Katherine and the moonstone. Is the doppelganger safe? Isobel: Yes Warlock: Then let her go Isobel: Let her go? Warlock: Klaus has everything he needs for now. Your part is finished. You did what he compelled you to do Isobel: I'm done? Warlock: You're done (She hangs up) Elena: Who was that? Isobel: I'm so sorry, Elena... That I was such a disappointment to you (She takes off her necklace she screams and burn. Elena's shocked) [Caroline's house] (Matt and Caroline are in the living room) Caroline: So after I hurt you in the woods, I made you forget and I promised myself I would stay away from you, but I-I couldn't... 'Cause I love you. I do. I love you, Matt, so much. God, I'm so sorry about what happened to Vicki. And I really wish you'd say something Matt: I'm all alone Caroline: No, you're not Matt: My mom doesn't care, my sister's dead, and all of my friends are liars, and you're a... Caroline: I'm still me. I'm still me. It's just I'm just a little bit... (She sits down next to him but he gets up) Matt: don't. No. This is too much. All of this is just too much. I don't want to know this Caroline: Tell me what I can do. Tell me what I can do. I... I want to help you Matt: You can make me forget. You've done it to me before Caroline: I don't-I don't think that that's... Matt: please make me forget, Caroline. I don't wanna look at you and see what I'm seeing right now Caroline: But maybe after... Matt: just make me forget, Caroline! (She cries) Caroline: Ok. Ok, Matt (She gets up and takes his face in her hands) [Salvatore's house] (Elena has Isobel's necklace in her hands. Stefan rejoins her) Stefan: Is that Isobel's? Elena: I never thought I would feel bad about her being dead, and yet... Stefan: She was your mother Elena: Why did they let me go? Stefan: Well, anything John told Isobel, we have to assume that Klaus knows, right? So he knows that you're not gonna turn yourself into a vampire. He knows that you have us keeping you safe Elena: He knows I'm not gonna run Damon: Which is why we need to take some precautions, 'cause we got played, all of us (He puts papers on her legs) Elena: What's this? Stefan: It's the deed to our house. It's in Zach's name. As soon as you sign it, it'll be in your name Elena: You're giving me your house? Stefan: Isobel had the right idea with the safe house. You'll just stay here till it's all over. That way, you can control who gets invited and who doesn't Damon: Although I'll be super pissed if you lock me out (John wakes up. Damon rushes over him and catches him) John: I swear I had no idea what she was gonna do. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry Elena: Damon, let him go. He and I need to talk [Gilbert's house] (Jeremy is reading the grimoire. Bonnie rejoins him) Bonnie: I told you to not worry about that Jeremy: A warning. That's all you felt like telling me? This is some kind of warning, Bonnie. It says if you use too much of your powers at once, it'll kill you. How much would it take to kill an Original? Bonnie: All of it Jeremy: No. I'm not gonna let you do that Bonnie: Jeremy, do you think I was born with these powers so I could float feathers and blow out candles? There's a reason was called to do this Jeremy: No one's called to get themselves killed. Plus Elena's not gonna let you die for her Bonnie: That's why you're not gonna tell her Jeremy: Do you even understand what you're saying right now? Bonnie: It's not just for Elena, Jeremy. It's for you. It's for everyone. If I am the only one who can put an end to this, then it'll be my decision, no one else's. Mine (She leaves) [Sherriff Forbes' car] (Matt rejoins Sheriff Forbes in her car) Matt: I did it. I drank that vervain stuff. I went over there, and I got her to tell me everything. Then I asked her to take it away Sheriff Forbes: Thank you, Matt. I know this isn't easy, but... I'm glad you told me what happened last night. I want you to tell me everything she said Matt: I feel like she died (She cries) Sheriff Forbes: She did [Salvatore's house] (John and Elena are talking) John: I always knew that she and Katherine were close but I never realized that Isobel and her were working against me. Two of the world's most uncaring and selfish vampires, and yet they were genuinely friends Elena: If that's what you thought of her, why did you ever put your trust in her at all? John: Because I was there when she gave birth to you, Elena. I saw how heartbroken she was to give you up. And because she was the first girl I ever loved, and when she said she'd help keep you safe... I believed her. At this point, I will do whatever you want me to do. If you feel safer with me not around, then I'll go (She doesn't answer so he gets up. He looks sad) Elena: You screw up everything, John. Everything you touch just falls apart. But you're the only Parent I have left so maybe I can learn not to hate you John: Okay (He smiles) (Damon and Stefan are in the library) Damon: Hey, Bonnie said the spell worked. She's locked and loaded Stefan: At least something went right today. Katherine has no idea that Bonnie got her powers back and Isobel had no idea what you and Jeremy took Bonnie to do today. We're the only ones who know Damon: That literally makes Bonnie our secret weapon [An apartment] (Katherine wakes up and sees the warlock casting a spell on someone sitting on a chair. There are two vases. One is full of blood the other is empty. She starts to gets up and sees that Elena's necklace is gone. It's Alaric that is on the chair. He opens his eyes and gets up. The warlock bends the knee) Katherine: Alaric? (She rushes over the door but she's trapped. Alaric goes toward her) Alaric: Zdravei, Katerina (He takes her face in his hands) Alaric: I have missed you Katherine: Klaus Ecrit par popo34000

Elena and Alaric become angry with John when Isobel's arrival devastates Jenna. Alaric is abducted by Maddox, a warlock from Klaus's inner circle. Meanwhile, Bonnie works with Jeremy and Damon to find the spell they need to gather the power of the witches killed in the massacre. Damon takes them to the site where the witches were burned. Matt demands to know what happened to Vicki. After Caroline tells him and then compels him to forget, it is revealed that Matt's involvement was a setup by Sheriff Forbes to find out everything about the vampires. Matt has drunk vervain, so the compulsion does not work. Isobel kidnaps Elena and then receives a phone call from Maddox, who tells her that she has finished what Klaus compelled her to do and is free to let Elena go. Isobel apologizes to Elena for being a disappointment as a mother, removes her necklace, and burns to death in the sun. Stefan and Damon realize that Bonnie is their new secret weapon since she now has tremendous power. Jeremy is upset because, if Bonnie uses too much power, she will die. Katherine, who had been set up by Isobel and taken by Maddox, wakes up to see Klaus take control of Alaric's body.

fd_FRIENDS_04x20

fd_FRIENDS_04x20_0

Story by: Adam Chase Teleplay by: Michael Curtis & Gregory S. Malins [Scene: Joey's bedroom, he is asleep and snoring loudly. Chandler enters wondering who left their engine running.] Chandler: Are you kidding me?! Joey. Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey!! Joey: (joining in, in his sleep) Joey. Joey. Joey. Joey! Joey!! (Chandler acts disgusted, but is happy that Joey has stopped snoring. However, just as he is about to leave, Joey starts snoring again. So to get him to stop, he slams the door shut, waking Joey.) Chandler: Oh. Oh, did-did-did I wake you? OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting another cup of coffee.] Chandler: Gunther, can I get another cup of coffee, please? (Gunther starts to pour him another cup.) So uh, what do you do when you're not working here? Gunther: You don't need to fill these silences. Chandler: Oh, okay, thanks. (He goes back to the couch and rejoins Monica, Joey, and Phoebe.) Monica: Chandler, that's like your fourth cup of coffee! Chandler: Well, I am drinking lots of cups of coffee because I'm exhausted! Because Joey started snoring! Monica: He's in a different room! He's really that loud? Joey: (proudly) Oh, you should here me. Chandler: It's not something to be proud of, okay? You have to go to a sleep clinic! Joey: Look, I told ya, I'm not going to any clinic! I don't have a problem, you're the one with the problem! You should go to a "Quit being a baby and leave me alone" clinic! Chandler: They don't have those. Joey: Yeah, they do! Quit being a baby and leave me alone! There, you've just had your first class! Monica: Y'know I used to go out with this guy that was a really light sleeper, and whenever I started to snore, he would just roll me over... Joey: Ohhh, yeah! Monica: He would just roll me over and I would stop snoring. Chandler: Next time you snore, I'm rolling ya over! Joey: I gotta do what I gotta do, you gotta do what you gotta do, you just do it. Ross: (entering) Hey guys! Chandler: Hey, all right! Phoebe: Hey! (Joey starts humming Here Come the Bride.) Phoebe: Oh, the Olympics. Monica: Have you guys picked a date yet? Ross: Oh no, not yet. Phoebe: I still cannot believe you're engaged! (Ross looks at her) Just 'cause its happening so fast; not 'cause you're such a loser. Ross: Oh. Thanks. Uh, has anyone seen Rach? Monica: Ugh, she's upstairs not doing the dishes! And I tell ya something! I'm not doing them this time! I don't care if those dishes sit in the sink until they're all covered with-I'll do them when I get home! Ross: Yeah-oh! Hey listen umm, Emily found this wedding dress in London... Phoebe: Already?! Ross: Yeah, but it didn't fit. Well, luckily there's a store here that has one left in her size, but I'm the groom, I'm not supposed to see the dress... Monica: I'll pick it up for you! Ross: Thank you. Monica: Okay. Chandler: Oh, she's got you running errands, y'know, picking up wedding dresses... (Laughs and makes like Indiana Jones and his whip) Wah-pah! Ross: What's wah-pah? Chandler: Y'know, whipped! Wah-pah! Joey: That's not whipped! Whipped is wh-tcssh! Chandler: That's what I did. Wah-pah! Joey: You can't do anything! [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is not doing the dishes. She hears someone coming up the stairs and quickly puts down her magazine and pretends like she's actually doing the dishes.] Rachel: Hey, Mon, I was just doing the dishes! Ross: Hey! Rachel: Oh! It's you. (She stops doing the dishes.) Hi. Ross: Hey, do uh, do you have a minute? Rachel: Yeah, yeah, I was just about to take a break anyways, so... Ross: So listen uh, I know you and I haven't really had a chance to talk since uh, Emily and I decided to get married, and uh, I was just wondering how you were. Rachel: Oh. Ross: I know if you were getting married I'd feel, kinda..... y'know. Rachel: Yeah. Yeah. Definitely, well it definitely took me by surprise, but I'm okay. Ross: Yeah? Rachel: Yeah. Ross: All right, I just wanted to check. Rachel: Oh, that's sweet. (He goes over to hug her.) Ross: You're great. And I-I know someday this will happen for you too. You just hang in there. Rachel: (breaking the hug) Uhh, hang in there? Ross: Oh, no, I didn't mean, uh... Rachel: I mean maybe you didn't hear about a serious relationship called me and Joshua? Ross: Oh, I thought you guys had just been on like four dates, I didn't realise that had become anything, yet. Rachel: Oh, no-no-no, no-no-no, it has become, it has-yeah. Oh no, those were four great dates. Ross: Oh. Yeah? Rachel: Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I mean, the connection, I mean y'know, emotionally, mentally, physically... Ross: Wow, that's-that's-that's incredible. Rachel: I know isn't it? It's like I'm right there with Joshua. Ross: Uh-huh. Rachel: You are right there with Emily. And it's y'know, it's kinda like.... it's a tie! Well, I gotta get, I gotta get back to the dishes. Ross: I gotta get to work. Rachel: Oh yeah? Fine. Ross: Hey, y'know, y'know what would make me really happy? Rachel: Oh yeah, no, what's that? Ross: If like the four of us could all y'know, hang out together. Uh, in fact Emily's coming into town this weekend, why don't you say we all have dinner? Say, Sunday night? Rachel: That would be great! Ross: Yeah, all right, it's a date. (He leaves) Rachel: (to the closed door) Hang in there. You hang in there. (Gives him the raspberry.) Ross: (coming back in) Did you say something? Rachel: No, just singing. (Does a little song.) [Scene: Beatrice Bridal Shop, Monica and Phoebe are there to pick up Emily's dress.] Monica: Oh my God! Ohh! Look at this one! It's so beautiful! Phoebe: Yeah, but y'know, about have of these are gonna end up getting divorced. The Saleslady: May I help you ladies? Monica: Oh, yes, umm, I'm here to pick up a dress that you have on hold. The Saleslady: Yes, what's the name, please? Monica: Emily Waltham. The Saleslady: Yes! I have it right here. (Phoebe and Monica both gasp at the dress.) Would you like to try it on Ms. Waltham? Monica: (laughs) Okay. [Time lapse. Monica is wearing the dress and starring at herself in the mirror.] Phoebe: You're the most beautiful bride I've ever seen. Monica: I am, aren't I? The Saleslady: Ms. Waltham? Monica: Yes? The Saleslady: We're closing. Monica: All right. (Goes to take off the dress.) The Saleslady: And could I get my ring back? (She disgustedly takes the ring off and gives it back.) [Scene: Joey's bedroom, he's snoring again and Chandler is there to roll him over.] Chandler: All right buddy, time to roll over. (Rolls him over, and discovers a surprise) (Looking down) No-no! (Covers his eyes) No, no-n-n-n-no!! You are going to a clinic! You're going to a clinic, and a pyjama store! [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is doing the dishes.] Monica: Does she use the cups? Yes! I believe she does. Does she use the plates? Yes! I believe she does. (Looks at the wedding dress and stops.) [Time lapse, Monica is now wearing the dress while doing the dishes and is making like she is thanking her guests for coming to her wedding. Paging Dr. Crane. Dr. Fraiser Crane!] Monica: Oh. Thank you. Ohhh, thank you very much. Oh, thank you for coming. (There's a knock on the door.) Uh, just a second! Phoebe: No-no, let me in! Monica: Phoebe? Phoebe: Yeah! Monica: Can you just hold on for one minute? Phoebe: No, you have to let me in right now!! Monica: Are you alone? Phoebe: Yes! Monica: All right. (She goes over and lets Phoebe bounce in wearing her own wedding dress.) [Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is complaining about going to the clinic.] Joey: This sucks! I didn't know I had to stay up all night before I went to this stupid sleep clinic! I'm so tired! Chandler: It's 6:00. Joey: Yeah, well... Rachel: (entering) Hi! Chandler: Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think that's, I think that's really cool. Joey: Yeah, Rach, I think you're handling that really well. Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? There's nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasn't for me and Joshua. Y'know, they're not gonna get married anyway! Chandler: What? Rachel: Come on! They rushed into this thing so fast it's ridiculous! I mean, they're gonna be engaged for like what? A year? And somewhere along the way, one of them is gonna realise what they've done and they're call the whole thing off. I'm telling ya, you're gonna be dancing at my wedding before you're dancing at there's. Chandler: Yeah, well, I don't dance at weddings. Rachel: Why not? Chandler: Because weddings are a great place to meet women, and when I dance, I look like this... (Starts to dancing really, really, really badly. Ross enters behind him and he stops.) Ross: Hey man. Chandler: Hey! Ross: So, what are you guys doing four weeks from today? Chandler: Nothing. Rachel: Nothing. Joey: I am... (Looks in his date book.) free! Ross: Great! Because Emily and I are getting married in a month! Joey and Chandler: What?! Ross: Yep! Rachel: In a month? Ross: Yeah! Rachel: You mean, you mean 30 days? Ross: Yeah. Rachel: From now? Ross: Yeah. Rachel: Well, that's great. Ross: Yeah! Yeah, Emily always wanted to get married in this beautiful place that her parents got married, but it's going to be torn down, so... I mean, I-I know it's crazy, but everything up 'til now has been so crazy, and I don't know, this just feels right. Y'know? Joey: (still looking in date book) Hey! That's the day after I stop menstruating! (They all look at him.) This isn't mine. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is waiting impatiently for Joshua.] Joshua: (entering) Hey, Rachel. Rachel: Hi! Joshua: What's up? You're voice sounded all squeaky on the phone. Rachel: Ohh, nothing, I just wanted to see you. See you and hug you. (Hugs him) See you. Joshua: Great! Rachel: Yeah! (She sits down) Sit! Joshua: (sitting) You okay? Rachel: I'm more than okay, I am really, really happy! Wanna know why? Joshua: Do I? Rachel: 'Cause I am really happy about us. I think we are, I think we are so on the right track! Y'know? I mean, I think we are working, I think we are clicking. Y'know? Joshua: Yeah, sure-sure, yeah, we're-we're-we're-we're-we're clicking. Rachel: Yeah-yeah, y'know if-if there was just like one little area where I-that I think we need-we would need to work on; I-I would think it was we're just not crazy enough! Joshua: I-I gotta say, I-I-I-I'm not too sure I agree with that. Rachel: Well, yeah, right, y'know what? Yeah, you're right, I mean, we no, we have our fun. Yeah! But if (Grunts uncomprehensively)......I mean, I mean like craaaazy! Y'know? Okay, all right. This is gonna, this is gonna sound y'know, a little umm, hasty, but uh, just go with it. Umm. Ugh. What if we got married? Joshua: What?! (Gunther is listening in.) Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, it's-it's so, it's so totally like, "Whoa! Can we do this?" Y'know, I mean, but I mean it just feels right! Don't you think? It does! I mean, it just feels right, don't you think? Joshua: Wow! Uhh, Rachel uhh, you're a real special lady, but my divorce isn't final yet and, and, and we've been on four days, so I'm thinking "No, but thanks." Gunther: YOU IDIOT!!!!! [Scene: The Sleep Clinic, Joey is having trouble staying awake.] Sleep Clinic Worker: Your name, please? Joey: Joey Tribbiani. Sleep Clinic Worker: Um-hmm, and did you stay up all night in preparation for your sleep study. (Joey doesn't answer) Uh, sir? (Joey starts snoring) Chandler: (answering for him) Yes he did. Sleep Clinic Worker: Alll right, we'll call you in a few minutes. (As she leaves, a beautiful woman enters and sits down across from the boys.) Chandler: (waking Joey) Hey, check out that girl! She is really hot! Joey: (sleepily) Yeah, she is. Wow! (Falls back asleep, loudly) How you doin'? (Chandler wakes him up, again.) Joey: What?! Chandler: You're coming on to the entire room! (He goes over to pick up a stack of magazines next to her, and to get her attention, he throws them back down.) I'm Chandler. Woman: I'm Marjorie. Chandler: Hi. Marjorie: Hi. Chandler: You mind if I... Marjorie: No, please. (He sits down next to her.) Chandler: So uh, what are you in for? Marjorie: I talk in my sleep. Chandler: What a coincidence, I listen in my sleep. Joey: (asleep) So why don't you give me your number? [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe, still defying reality, are now throwing a bouquet at each other, pretending to catch the actual bouquet at an actual wedding.] Monica: Okay, ready? Phoebe: Yeah. Monica: Okay. (She turns around and throws the bouquet to Phoebe.) Phoebe: (catching it) I got it! Mine! (They both hug) Monica: Congratulations! Phoebe: Thank you! Monica: Okay! My turn! My turn! Phoebe: Okay! (Gets into position) Okay, ready? Monica: (cocking her head from side to side in some pre-bouquet-catching ritual) Yeah. Phoebe: Okay. (Phoebe turns and throws it on the couch.) Monica: (upset) That was a terrible throw!! Phoebe: I'm not gonna right to you! That's not real! Monica: Look at me! My big concern is what's real?! (Finally realises) Oh my God. We're really sad, aren't we? Phoebe: Yeah, I think we are. Monica: This isn't even my dress. Phoebe: Well, at least you didn't rent yours from a store called, "It's Not Too Late." Monica: I'm changing out of this. Phoebe: Me too. Monica: In like a half-hour? Phoebe: Me too. Monica: Okay, throw it straight this time. Phoebe: Okay. (She throws it straight, and Monica makes a big deal about catching it.) Monica: I'm getting married next!! Phoebe: Yay! [Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe, back to reality, are sitting in normal clothes.] Phoebe: I hate my regular clothes now! Y'know? I look down and-and I know that this isn't gonna be the most special day of my life. Monica: Yeah. I mean it was kinda fun for a while, but didn't you start feeling silly? Phoebe: I guess. (Monica crosses her legs and is still wearing the garter belt.) Phoebe: Oh my God! Monica: Oh God. Phoebe: Oh, you're such a cheater! Chandler: (entering) Hello! Little ones. Monica: Hey! Phoebe: Hey! Monica: So, is Joey gonna stop snoring? Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (They're stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me. Phoebe: Oh, how'd that happen? Chandler: Because I'm cooler. Monica: No, seriously. Chandler: Well she's, she's the kinda girl-Joey was unconscious. (Joey enters, wearing a mouth guard like boxers wear.) Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Hey you guys! What's happening? Monica: Oh my God! Phoebe: What is that? Joey: (muffled) Oh, they gave it to me at the sleep clinic, and it's gonna help me not to snore. Monica: Well, are you asleep right now, Joe? 'Cause I don't think you have to wear it unless you are! Joey: (takes out the mouth guard) I know I don't have too! It tastes good. (Puts it back in.) Chandler: Plus, you look cool. (Joey totally agrees with this statement and kicks his feet up.) [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is putting away the wedding dress, finally.] Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) Well, I just called Joshua... Phoebe: Oh, how did it go? Rachel: Well, I did my best to convince him that I'm not some crazy girl who is dying to get married-I'm just going through a hard time. Phoebe: What did he say? Rachel: Well uh, his answering machine was very understanding. Ugh. I feel blue. Monica: Ohh, sweetie! (Goes to comfort her.) Hey, I bet you anything that he's gonna call you again. Rachel: Yeah, maybe, but I don't think I even care. I don't think he's the one I'm sad about. Y'know, I know that I said that I am totally okay with Ross getting married, but as it turns out, I don't think I'm handling it all that well. Phoebe: Yeah, maybe. Rachel: And I-I am just trying to figure out why. Phoebe: Any luck? Rachel: Well, yeah, y'know how Ross and I were on again, off again, on again, off again? I guess I just figured that somewhere down the road, we would be on again. Monica: Again. Y'know what? I think we all did. Ross: (entering) Hey! Monica: Hey! (She jumps up and throws Emily's wedding dress into Rachel's room.) Ross: So, I got us some reservations for Sunday night, okay? How about, Ernie's at 9 o'clock? Rachel: Yeah, well, you uh, better make it for three. Ross: Oh, see I-I don't know if we're gonna be hungry at three. Rachel: Three people. Joshua's not gonna be there. Ross: What happened? Rachel: Uh, well, I think, I think he broke up with me. Ross: Noo. Why? Rachel: Well, apparently he scares easy. Ross: Oh, Rachel, I'm-I'm sorry. Rachel: It's okay. Sometimes, things don't work out the way you'd thought they would. Ross: Come here. (They hug.) Rachel: (breaking the hug) Oh, hey, don't you have to go pick up Emily? Ross: Yeah. Rachel: Yeah. Ross: You okay? Rachel: Yeah! I got my girls. (He leaves.) Rachel: Ugh. (She goes over and lays her head on Phoebe's lap.) Phoebe: (looks at Monica) Hey, y'know what might cheer you up? Rachel: What? [Time lapse, all three girls are now wearing wedding dresses, eating popcorn, drinking beer, and watching TV.] Rachel: Y'know, I gotta tell ya, this really does put in a better mood. Monica: Oh, I wish there was a job where I could wear this all the time. (Pause) Maybe someday, there will be. (There's a knock on the door.) Monica: Oh God! He's gonna come by and borrow some candles for his big date! Rachel: Oh, okay! (She goes to answer the door.) Monica: No-no, Rachel, don't get it! He can't see us! Phoebe: No, yeah! The groom cannot see the bride! Rachel: I'm not gonna marry Chandler! Phoebe: Not after this! Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that it's Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.) Joshua: I gotta go. Rachel: Oh, wait, Joshua! Joshua! (Pause) (Comes back inside) Yeah, well, that oughta do it. CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Chandler's bedroom, he is sleeping with Marjorie. All of the sudden, Marjorie starts talking in her sleep, awakening Chandler. After a little bit, she quiets back down, and Chandler tries to get back to sleep. There's a short pause until she starts screaming, causing Chandler to scream with her. She quickly calms down. This all wakes up Joey, who comes over wearing the mouth guard, opens the top half of Chandler's door, and starts to complain about the noise.] Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Dude! I am trying to sleep! (Shrugs to say, "What's up with that?")

Chandler, frustrated by Joey's loud snoring, takes him to a sleep clinic where he meets an attractive woman with her own sleeping issues. Rachel, struggling to accept Ross and Emily's engagement, shocks Joshua by saying they should get married. Monica and Phoebe pick up Emily's wedding gown at the bridal shop. Monica tries it on and does not want to take it off, then puts it on again at home. Phoebe then shows up in a rented wedding dress. Rachel leaves Joshua a phone message explaining she was just upset about Ross and Emily. She never expects to see Joshua again. The girls try cheering Rachel up by getting her to wear her old wedding dress, only for Joshua to show up. Seeing her in a bridal gown, he runs off for good.

fd_The_L_Word_02x02

fd_The_L_Word_02x02_0

EXT. - CHURCH - DAY [Church bells are heard. Several people stand just outside the main entrance, which is decorated in lace and bows. There's a red carpet leading to the entrance.] [Title card: Mendocino, California - 2003.] [Robin walks out the doors in white tuxedo; the people 'ooh' and 'ahh' and clap and throw rice. Robin smiles as she walks out. Everyone looks to the doors expectantly.] Voice: Where's Claybourne? [Robin looks around. Claybourne is not there.] INT. - CHURCH - DAY [Claybourne and another woman are ravishing each other.] Woman: Oh! Claybourne! Claybourne! f*ck! Oh! EXT. - CHURCH - DAY [Robin looks at the ground sadly.] [Opening credits.] INT. - ATTORNEY JOYCE WISCHNIA'S OFFICE - DAY [Tina is sitting across the desk from Joyce Wischnia. All around are framed newspaper articles and photographs of Joyce's career as a civil rights attorney. One newspaper article headline screams "Lacerating Lesbian Lawyer". Next to it is a picture of Joyce posing with Bill Clinton.] Tina: It was, uh, Bette's house. She bought it before we met. But she put me on the title after I moved in. Joyce: Did you contribute to the mortgage payments? Tina: I offered, but Bette never wanted me to. (sighs) I made pretty good money as a Development Executive, but not as much as Bette and she insisted on paying the mortgage. Joyce: And you always did what Bette wanted? Tina: No. Joyce: Did you pay for anything? [Joyce picks up a couple of ping-pong balls off her desk. She turns in her chair and hurls them at a huge felt wall sculpture of a uterus, with fallopian tubes and ovaries and little fabric pockets under them. The little ball hits with a thud and sticks to the uterus. Tina stutters and stares for a moment.] Tina: (wide eyed) I... uh, paid for utilities and I... [Joyce hurls another ball at the giant uterus. It sticks. Tina's eyes go wide.] Tina: ... paid for the food. Although most of the utilities are in Bette's name. Joyce: Well of course they are. [Joyce hurls another ball. It sticks.] Joyce: Why should the little wife have to put her name on anything? [Joyce hurls another ball. It bounces on the floor.] Tina: (defensive) That's absolutely not the case. I... just never bothered to change it. Look, I don't even know why I'm here. I'm not going after Bette's money. Joyce: If we wind up in court - Tina: Wind up in court? Whoa! I don't wanna be here. EXT. - LA STREET - DAY [A busy commercial-residential street at the foot of the Hollywood hills. Various shots of people on the streets, palm trees, cars.] EXT. - SIDEWALK - DAY [Alice and Shane are walking to The Planet.] Alice: She had to do something, so I hooked her up. Shane: With a lawyer? Alice: Joyce Wischnia is the leading gay civil rights attorney in L.A. Shane: Ah, Jesus, Al, you and your f*cking "best of" lists. Bette and Tina don't need that. Alice: Well, I wasn't really thinking about Bette, I was thinking about Tina. Fine. What do you think she needs? Shane: (shrugging) I don't know. A lap dance, maybe. Not a f*cking lawyer. [They get to The Planet. Alice walks up the door. It's locked and a sign reads "CLOSED until further notice." Alice pulls the door handle.] Alice: Closed? Shane: What? [Alice and Shane look around.] Shane: sh1t. INT. - JOYCE'S OFFICE - DAY Joyce: Do you want me to tell you why you need a lawyer? Tina: Okay. Joyce: Because in the eyes of the world, especially the world as embodied by the courts, you are sh1t. [Tina closes her eyes and looks down.] Joyce: You gave up your autonomy in a relationship that the law doesn't recognize. And your ex controls everything. Tina: (defensive) She always said what's hers is mine. Doesn't matter whose name it was in. [Joyce leans back and picks up her pipe.] Tina: If I needed money in my checking account, I just took it from savings; I was authorized on the account. I never had to ask her for anything. Joyce: Does it bother you if I smoke? Tina: I really wish that you wouldn't. [Joyce looks at her like she misheard her.] Tina: If you don't mind. [Tina clutches her purse a little tighter to her belly. Joyce notices. Tina avoids eye contact.] Joyce: Okay. [Joyce puts the pipe down and picks up a pen.] Joyce: Okay. Let's review the facts. Did you give up your career at her urging? Tina: Yes. Joyce: Did you make a home for her, did you cook, decorate, entertain, fill the house with liveliness and warmth? Tina: (hesitates then smiles) Yes. Joyce: Okay. Did you offer your womb to give birth to her child? [Tina doesn't know what to say. She fidgets and tries to speak but doesn't get anything out.] Tina: Bette doesn't know about this. I mean, nobody knows about this. Joyce: You're kidding. Tina: I just started showing. I had a miscarriage about five months ago. Bette didn't handle it so well. I didn't want her to have to go through it again. Joyce: So you went and got inseminated on your own, and you're protecting her until you're sure it's going to stick. Tina: Yeah. Joyce: And then she cheated on you. She spread her legs for another woman. Tina: (upset) Could you please not say that? Joyce: It's true! Deal with it. Doesn't it make you angry? Tina: f*ck, yes. Joyce: So what do you want? Take responsibility for yourself. Get what you rightfully deserve. And don't let Bette decide that for you. [Tina looks down. Joyce leans forward.] Joyce: Look, Tina. I am not a marriage wrecker. If you want to get back together with Bette... do you? Tina: (hesitates) (shakes head) I don't know. Joyce: Well, either way. You have to come to this from a position of strength. Whether or not you and Bette eventually reconcile - especially if you decide to get back together and rebuild your relationship? First, you need to have your autonomy. Can you see why? Tina: Yes, I can see why. I want my autonomy. Joyce: (smiles a little) Okay. (picks up pen) Who's Bette's lawyer? EXT. - NIRVANA BEAN COFFEE SHOP - DAY [Alice and Shane stand at the counter of a corner coffee shop, stymied by the menu. Shane is trying to order. Alice watches. A long line of people wait to order.] Shane: The - the, the, Somalian Headtrip, the espresso of the day. I - is that different from a regular shot? Cashier: No. Shane: It's not. Cashier: No. Shane: Okay. (looks up at menu) Well then, can I have two... of whichever's strongest. Cashier: Okay. Shane: Okay? And can I have it filled (gestures with hands apart) in a - tall cup, halfway? Cashier: Okay. Any flavoring? Shane: What. In my coffee? (looks at Alice) What the f*ck is he talking about with the flavoring? [Alice looks at the line of customers formed behind them and spots Tonya and Dana.] Alice: Hey! Guys. [Dana in tow, Tonya pushes through the crowd.] Dana: (to crowd) Sorry, can you excuse us? Tonya: (to crowd) Sorry. Excuse me. Dana: (to crowd) Sorry. Alice: (to Tonya) Shane does not know what she's doing here. Tonya: What do you normally have at The Planet? Shane: A double shot. Tonya: (to Cashier) Give the woman a baby mindblower with an extra hit of espresso. [The cashier nods.] Dana: You're gonna need the extra hit, Shane. I mean, even though they call it the mindblower, it's still not as strong as Planet coffee. Tonya: (to Cashier) We will each have a toffee nut caramel soy far-out frappe. [Tonya and Dana smile at each other. Tonya turns quickly to Alice.] Tonya: You don't mind, right? Since we're here? Shane: (to Tonya) A toffee... nut... soy... Tonya: Far-out frappe. Shane: Far-out frappe. That's... that's intense, Tonya. Tonya: That's what I'm in the mood for. Alice: Dana didn't really say that she was in the mood for one, though. [Dana moves to stand behind Tonya.] Tonya: No, but she likes what I like. She always wants what I want more than what she wants. Right? [Tonya leans back and kisses Dana's cheek. Dana grins.] Dana: (to Alice, smiling) It's true, I do. Shane: (at Tonya and Dana, fake smile) So nice. (looks at menu) So lesbian. [Dana looks at the menu and roughly bumps her shoulder against Alice.] EXT. - BEST PICTURE CARS - DAY [Ivan's garage. The 1950s art deco sign on the garage reads "Best Picture Cars".] INT. - BEST PICTURE CARS - DAY [Twangy 1950s bebop plays over the garage radio. Lots of female mechanics work on vintage automobiles. Dax, one of the mechanics, leans under the hood of a truck and takes off the air filter. She looks up and sees Kit. Kit approaches her.] Kit: Ivan's not calling me back. Dax: (looking at engine) Ivan, uh, doesn't wanna talk. Kit: (sighs) Just tell me where sh - he is. I've been to the apartment, he's not there. [Dax wipes her hands on an oil rag and walks past Kit to the front desk.] Dax: He's got a cabin in Idyllwild. Kit: He's got a cabin? Dax: Yeah. Ivan's got a cabin. Yeah. Yeah, dude's set up. [Dax picks up some paperwork and hands a set of keys to a guy.] Kit: Hey, I, you know, I appreciate you being protective but it - it's not what you think. I really care for Ivan. [Dax goes through some papers.] Dax: (nodding) Sure. Kit: (more urgent) I need to talk to him. Dax: You know, what happened, you know, with the two of you? Kit: When I saw her? Dax: When you saw her. Yeah. Kit: (sighs) Oh, I knew I shouldn't have busted in, I should've waited. [Dax wipes her hands on a rag and flips through some more papers.] Dax: (nods) It was bad. Kit: I know it was bad for Ivan, but it was unsettling for me, too. [Dax walks around the counter and heads for the staircase.] Kit: You know, but we can get past that. Dax: Yeah, well, maybe not Ivan. Kit: Ohh, it's crazy, of course we can! Y - just - just - let me have his address, please? Dax: Naw, you know, it'd be better to wait. Let him chill for a few days. Kit: I can't wait! Dax: Then when Ivan gets back, just don't mention it. Like it didn't happen. [Dax starts to head up the stairs.] Kit: Dax! I can't wait. [Dax stops.] Kit: I don't have a few days, you know what I'm sayin'? [Dax looks at Kit.] INT. - BETTE'S OFFICE - DAY [James hovers over Bette, showing her, on her computer, apartment listings he found online. She takes notes.] James: Bette, I scoured the rentals. These guys do a lot of short stays, people coming in to do movies and that kind of thing. [Bette throws down her pen and grabs the mouse from James.] Bette: (scoffs, pissed) Give me that! I cannot f*cking afford movie star prices! James: (hesitant) Uh, sorry, no, you misunderstood. Its crew people, not movie stars. Bette: Oh, okay. I'm sorry. Go ahead. [Bette gives him back the mouse and picks up her pen again.] James: Okay, uh... [James pulls up a webpage that says "Trillium Homes." The picture is of a nice art-deco apartment building. The caption of the picture reads, "Imagine waking up every morning to the energizing buzz of L.A. and relaxing in the evening to the twinkle of glittering lights. You are just minutes away from shopping and relaxation." The rental price is $680 a month.] James: Here it is. It's a little one bedroom over on Barham. Bette: (frustrated) In the Valley? James: On the cusp. It has a 323 area code so - Bette: What, are you trying to make sure she leaves me? [James stands up.] James: It's one of the few places that rents month-to-month. I thought if she wants to come home after a month - Bette: I want you to keep looking. James: Okay, I'll keep looking. Bette: And find something nicer. I will not have Tina living like that. James: Well, uh, if you're willing... (leans back down to surf to another page, sighs) if you want to sign a six month lease, I saw this little... Bette: I will sign a six month lease, I don't care if I lose my money, as long as it means Tina's coming home. James: Okay. [Bette sighs and looks back at the monitor, frowning.] James: Here we go. This is, uh... [There is a knock at the door.] Bette: [sharply] Come in. [Bette's lawyer, Bert from the episode 1x10 "Liberally", walks in.] Bert: I thought that you would be interested to know I got a call from Tina's lawyer. Bette: What kind of lawyer? Bert: Uh, her name is Joyce Wischnia, and she claims to specialize in civil and family matters. Bette: She's famous. Bert: I never heard of her. Bette: She's a gay civil rights lawyer. She was one of the first to support same-sex adoptions. Tina and I were going to use her. [Bert nods.] Bette: She also does estate planning and child custody, domestic partnership arrangements... [Bette stops, realization dawning slowly.] Bette: And separation and divorce. [Bert looks at James. James looks down. Bette looks hurt and angry.] Charlotte Birch: (voice over) The hunter and... INT.- CHARLOTTE BIRCH'S CLASSROOM - DAY [Charlotte Birch stands at the chalkboard in her writing class. She writes "Hunter and the Hunted" on the chalkboard.] Charlotte: ... the hunted. You have twenty minutes to write. [Charlotte puts the chalk down and walks toward the class.] Charlotte: It's fiction. Not an essay. Not a poem. Not a stream of consciousness bellow of yearning from you soul. Where's Aaron Engleberg? [Aaron, a student, raises his hand. Everybody looks at him.] Charlotte: Where'd you learn about violin making, Aaron? Aaron: It's been passed down through my family. My great-grandfather, my grandfather, and my father. All are master violin makers. Charlotte: Very poignant. Lovely story, it was my favorite submission. Aaron: Thank you. Charlotte: The author of Storm Seller, S-E-L-L-E-R? [Another male student, Hunter Kirby, raises his hand.] Hunter: Hunter Kirby. Charlotte: Nice use of metaphor, Hunter. [Hunter glows a little from the praise.] Charlotte: But watch out for the puns. And tell your dad I said hello. Hunter: I will. And, uh, my godfather says to say hello. Charlotte: Who's your godfather? Hunter: Edward. Albee. [Charlotte shakes her head as if impressed.] Charlotte: Where is Sarah Shuster? [Jenny raises hand as if embarrassed, nervous, or both.] Jenny: It's Jenny Schecter, actually. Charlotte: Jenny Schecter, Sarah Shuster. Well, well. (to the class) Miss Schecter has written a story called Thus Spoke Sarah Schuster. [Everybody looks at Jenny.] Jenny: Uh, yes, I realize that it's arrogant. Charlotte: Well arrogant is fine. Hubristic, overly precious bad puns are to be avoided. [Hunter smiles a little to himself.] Charlotte: Especially if someone wants to be accepted into my class. [Jenny looks over to Hunter. He grimaces a little.] Charlotte: Shall we begin? [Charlotte sets her egg timer. The students start writing. Jenny thinks a moment, then puts pen to paper.] Jenny: (voice over) The hunter... and the hunted. JENNY'S DAYDREAM - [A sequence of black and white images fade in and out quickly: A young girl, barefoot, is being chased by two boys through a dark house. The house is full of mirrors all draped in sheets. Children's laughter echoes. The girl runs up to one of the mirrors and peers through like it's a window.] Jenny: (voice over) This never happened. [Back in Charlotte's class the timer buzzes, interrupting the daydream.] INT. - CHARLOTTE BIRCH'S CLASSROOM - DAY [Charlotte stands near the back of the room.] Charlotte: That's it. Put down your pens. Students: Aww. [Charlotte walks over to Jenny, who is still writing. After a moment, Jenny looks up and puts her pen down.] Charlotte: That's right. [Charlotte walks to the front of the classroom. Jenny quickly adds a few more words while the teacher's back is turned.] INT. - CHURCH - DAY [Rock music blasts. The band, "The Organ", is performing their song "Brother" in a video shoot up in the balcony. The camera crew films from belong. Carmen roams around the cameras and lights, carrying a binder full of papers as she walks. She spills some of its contents, but continues walking.] Director: (offscreen) And cut. Back to first positions, please. [The music screeches to a halt.] [Carmen looks up and stops, startled.] Carmen: Oh, God. [Carmen walks up to Shane, who's standing a few feet away from the set, leaning against a column. Shane smiles at Carmen.] Carmen: How long have you been there? (laughs) Shane: Just a, uh... [Carmen catches her breath from being startled.] Shane: (walking over to her) Just a few minutes, (motioning to balcony) I saw that sexy guitar player hitting on you. Carmen: Yeah. (laughs) [Carmen picks up items sitting on a pew next to her.] Shane: Listen, I hope you don't mind, your mom told me where you were. Carmen: Oh, no, no, I don't mind. (begins walking) Come with me? Shane: Yeah. (follows) Well, also, I wanted... to apologize. About the other night. I was an asshole. Director: (off screen) Playback! EXT. - IVAN'S CABIN - DAY [A tiny cabin in an idyllic woodsy setting. A couple of vintage cars and a camper are parked out front. Kit drives up the gravel driveway and parks. She gets out of her car, her business plan in hand, looking around. Kit doesn't see Ivan working underneath one of the nearby cars. Ivan rolls out from under.] Kit: I know you don't want to talk to me. Ivan: Who told you where I am? [Kit gets up.] Kit: Look, we need to talk so we can... get this behind us. Ivan: Well, I'm busy right now. Kit: Ivan, I need your help. And, I know it's a bad time, but I just need 15 minutes. [Ivan wipes his hands on a rag and looks around.] INT. - CHURCH - CONTINUED [Shane and Carmen stand behind a partition, talking. Carmen seems just a little bit defensive.] Carmen: No, that's okay, you know, you don't want to get involved with anybody, and that is cool. Shane: I'm glad it's cool with you. Carmen: It's totally cool. Shane: Well (clears throat), it doesn't mean that... [The music for the video shoot plays.] Director: (off screen) Action! Shane: ... we can't f*ck. Carmen: You want to f*ck me? [Shane suddenly kisses Carmen.] [Cut between The Organ video shoot and Carmen and Shane seriously making out. Suddenly, Carmen's walkie-talkie booms to life.] Voice on walkie-talkie: Carmen? [Carmen and Shane continue.] Director: (off screen) Okay, cut it, cut it! [The music stops.] Carmen: Oh, f*ck. [They stop kissing. Carmen struggles to get to her headset on.] Shane: Ignore it. Voice: What's your twenty? Carmen: (to Shane) I, I can't. (laughing). Voice: (insistent) Carmen!! [Carmen presses a button on her walkie-talkie.] Carmen: (into headset) Uh, yeah. Go for Carmen. [Shane occupies herself with Carmen's neck. Carmen is struggling to stop giggling.] Voice: I need a fresh battery, ASAP. [Carmen tries to respond but kisses Shane instead.] Voice: Carmen? Carmen: (to Shane) No, no, no, wait. (into headset) Okay, yeah, right away. [Carmen giggles. She and Shane kiss some more.] Shane: What are you doing later? Carmen: (realizing) Oh, God, I have to go over to my grandmother's, I can't let her down. Shane: No problem. Carmen: Um... I could come over to your place late. Shane: No... no, my roommates are gonna be there. Carmen: Well, uh, what about tomorrow? Shane: Um (thinks). No, tomorrow I'm getting a lap dance. Carmen: Well, I could do a lap dance for you. [Shane laughs, Carmen giggles.] Shane: Yeah, I'd like that. But, it - it's for my friend. She just, uh, she got out of this relationship. Carmen: Mmm. (nods) Yeah, those relationships. They can really f*ck you up. Shane: Yeah. [Shane leans against the wall and looks as if she is about to say something.] Carmen: Mmm. [Carmen walks away. Shane watches her go.] EXT. - IVAN'S CABIN - CONTINUED [Ivan walks out of the cabin carrying two bottles of beer. Kit sits at a small table in the shade. He walks over and sets the bottles down.] Ivan: You want a beer? Kit: You're not drinking... Ivan: It's non-alcoholic. I'm not going to blow my sobriety, Kit. [Ivan opens a beer and sits back.] Kit: Ivan, this - this doesn't have to be that hard. I mean, after seeing you as a woman, your body's beautiful. I mean, unless you don't want to be - Ivan: (sharply) Hey, you know, why don't you just tell me what you want from me, okay? Kit: (clears throat) I brought... my business plan. My sister Bette's gonna co-sign for the loan. But the bank won't lend me the $75,000 unless I can come up with $50,000 in cash, and she - she just doesn't have it. Ivan: $50,000 dollars is a lot of money. Kit: (sighs) Tomorrow I have to meet Manfredi Ferrer, Marina's dad, and if I don't have it together then... it's over for me. (sighs) [Ivan sighs, stands, and takes a swig of beer.] Ivan: Leave your business plan, I'll look it over. I have things I need to do now. Kit: Ivan... Is... is there a... a chance? Ivan: (thinks a moment) You shouldn't count on me. [Ivan walks into the cabin, leaving Kit sitting alone. Kit sighs.] INT. - CHARLOTTE BIRCH'S CLASSROOM - DAY [The students watch Charlotte, who sits at her desk going through the papers that the students wrote.] Charlotte: Wild boar hunting. Well, that's certainly a literal interpretation. Glock's submission looks promising. (shuffles papers) I like the description of the, uh... (reads papers) lawn mower. (looks up at class) Always go for detail. (shuffles papers) Hmm. I see that Jenny Schecter has set her story of The Hunter and the Hunted in a... carnival. (looks at Jenny) Is that a true story, Schecter? [Jenny looks at her shyly.] Jenny: Yes. How did you know? Charlotte: It lacks imagination. You haven't transformed it into fiction. [Jenny looks a little shattered. Charlotte stacks all the papers together.] Charlotte: (to class) Thanks for trying, people. You'll all hear from me within the next ten days. [As other students leave the classroom, Jenny remains seated, lost in thought.] INT. - DANA AND TONYA'S APARTMENT - NIGHT [Dana is moving about and throwing things in the closet.] Dana: Why are we doing this? [Tonya stands at the mini-bar, counting the cocktail napkins.] Tonya: Because we want them to take part in the wedding. We want them in the wedding photos. We want your father to give you away. [Dana goes through a bag then tosses it on the floor. She tosses another bag on the floor.] Dana: Yeah, give me away. He's probably going to disown me. [She tosses another bag on the floor.] Tonya: Honey, they know that we're getting married. Don't they? Dana: Yes. Tonya: And they haven't disowned us yet have they? [Dana folds her jacket and throws it on the floor. She puts her hand on her forehead and sighs.] Tonya: Pookie, the worst they can do... [Tonya walks over to Dana and takes her hands. They stand facing each other.] Tonya: ... is refuse to acknowledge us. Which is pretty much what they're doing already, right? Dana: (nods) Yeah. [Dana sighs. Tonya pulls the hair back from Dana's face.] Tonya: I need you to go get ready. Dana: Okay. Tonya: I need you to wear your hair in a ponytail. (looks in Dana's eyes) And let me take care of everything else. [Dana nods.] Tonya: Okay? Dana: (whispering) Okay. [Tonya gives Dana a smooch on the lips, then kisses her forehead.] INT. - ALICE'S APARTMENT- NIGHT [There are clothes scattered all over the living room. Alice is cleaning. A knock comes at the door. Alice trips on something.] Alice: f*ck, Tina. Your sh1t's everywhere. f*ck. [Alice tosses a shoe out of the hallway. She opens the door. It's Bette - she pushes her way in.] Bette: Where the f*ck is Tina? [Bette enters the apartment and walks down the short hallway, into the living room.] Alice: (surprised) Bette. [Alice follows Bette into the living room.] Alice: She's not here, but you're welcome to come in. She's at work, um... she and Oscar are in some big project. [Bette faces Alice in the living room.] Bette: Did you know she's hiring a lawyer? Alice: She's not hiring one, she just went for a consultation. Bette: (scoffs) Provide bank statements? Have the house reappraised? Supply a list of my assets? Does that sound like a consultation? Alice: (cleaning) She was just going to get some advice. I thought she needed it, you know, to feel like she had some options. Bette: (confused) You thought...? Alice: Bette, you know what? She doesn't have any money. She doesn't have anything of her own anymore. Bette: (angry) You sent her to f*cking Joyce Wischnia? Alice: (defensive) I just suggested she see a lawyer! Bette: f*ck you! Alice: f*ck me?! Bette: Yeah, f*ck you! Weren't you my friend? Alice: (really agitated) You know, I'm still your friend! I'm totally your friend, but you can be a little cruel! [Bette rolls her eyes, scoffing.] Alice: I've been there. I remember. Bette: That's low. You and I dated for six weeks, it was never gonna go anywhere, I did us both a favor. Alice: (a beat) It's just... Tina's hurting. [Bette sighs and looks down.] Alice: And I would kind of like my place back. Someday. [Bette looks at Alice, tears in her eyes.] Bette: Well, I'll tell you what, my friend, (walking out) you can judge me all you want to. You make me into a pariah, I f*cking deserve it. But don't you dare interfere with my life like that. Okay? Don't cross that line again! [Bette walks to the door. Alice chases after her.] Alice: I didn't mean to cross a line. I - I'm sorry! [Bette slams the door behind her.] INT. - DANA AND TONYA'S APARTMENT - NIGHT [Irwin and Sharon, Dana's parents, sit with Dana and Tonya in the living room, having drinks. They clink glasses in a toast. Dana's hair is in a ponytail.] Irwin Fairbanks: To sponsorship. Sharon Fairbanks: To my little girl's brilliant career. [They all take a sip of their drinks.] Irwin: Mmm. Sharon: Mmm, oh, is this a Skinny Russian? Tonya: Well, I knew that was your drink, Sharon. Sharon: (pleased) Ohh. Dana: Mom? It's - it's actually Tonya that's the brilliant one. She's the one who locked in the GM deal. Tonya: (modest) Ohh. Dana: That's just the beginning. Tonya: Sharon, Irwin, do you realize what an impact Dana can have? Because she's - well, because she's beautiful. Because she looks like the beautiful girl next door. [Dana blushes at her. Irwin, eating hors d'oeuvres off a toothpick, nods.] Irwin: I think Dana's pretty near perfect. [Dana smiles at her father.] Tonya: Dana and your wife: two perfect examples of strength balanced by femininity. [Sharon blushes and shakes her head. Tonya smiles at Dana, then at the parents. Dana looks around nervously. Her parents look at each other, then at Tonya and Dana.] Tonya: Um... Sharon, Irwin... Dana and I have something we'd like to ask you. [Tonya and Dana clasp hands.] Sharon: No, I'm sorry, you cannot have the Tiffany lamps until Daddy and I are ready to downsize. [Everybody laughs. Dana's laugh is a little forced.] Tonya: Well, you know that we've set a date. [Sharon and Irwin go cold.] Tonya: We'd really like your blessing. Irwin: I don't know what difference that makes. Dana: It would mean a lot. [Sharon looks uncomfortable.] Dana: (imploring) Mom. Sharon: You know, I... (shaking head) I really don't understand. I mean, look at you two. Both of you such pretty girls! And neither of you would have any trouble finding a man. Dana: (under breath) Oh, God. (shaking head, frustrated) We don't want to find a man, Mom. God! Irwin: Dana. Dana: (loudly) No! It's just frustrating, you know! [Tonya gets up and sits on the arm of Dana's chair. She pets her hair and kisses her head.] Dana: I - I try to tell you guys, and you just don't listen! Tonya: It's okay. [Tonya looks at Sharon and Irwin for a moment.] Tonya: Sharon, I was engaged once before. I - I don't know if Dana told you. Sharon: (shakes head) No, no she didn't. Tonya: Well... his name was Bayard. He was smart and successful - he was a real estate lawyer. He was totally in love with me. [Sharon seems to listen. Dana kisses Tonya's hand; Sharon shakes her head and looks away.] Tonya: Now, I tried really hard to make that one work. But every night I would wake up in the middle of the night, crying. [Irwin listens.] Tonya: And one night, Bayard woke up and he found me like that. Do you know what he did? Irwin: Damned if I do. [Sharon looks up.] Tonya: He got down on one knee and he said, "Tonya, will you not marry me?" [Irwin and Sharon listen intently. Dana looks at them both.] Tonya: (continuing Bayard) "Because I know what's in your heart." [Sharon closes her eyes and sighs a little.] Tonya: (continuing Bayard) "And I love you too much to make you unhappy." [Irwin seems moved. He looks down.] Tonya: (continuing Bayard) "Be true to yourself, Tonya. Follow your heart." [Sharon begins to cry. Tonya looks at Dana, who's watching the change in her parents quietly. Irwin puts his hand on Sharon's shoulder. After a few moments, Sharon looks at Dana, who has tears in her eyes. Sharon takes a deep breath and opens her arms, smiling. Irwin opens his arms too. Tonya and Dana get up and they all hug. Tonya and Dana smile; Sharon cries happily.] INT. - NIRVANA BEAN COFFEE HOUSE - DAY [Tina and Alice are at the counter, ordering.] Tina: (reading menu) (to Alice) Am I really saving the environment if I am ordering an Awesome? Alice: Not if it's spills in your Prius. (to Cashier) Hi, I'm gonna try that toffee nut caramel soy frappuccino drink. [Shane quickly walks up to the counter.] Shane: No, no, no, no. No. Tonya ordered it yesterday, it was lethal. [Alice moves down the counter to wait for her drink. Alice and Shane follow.] Alice: Oh. Too bad she didn't keel over and die. Shane: Al... Alice: Oh, I'm sorry, was that too brutally frank and honest for you? [Alice leans against the bar and crosses her arms.] Alice: I don't know you guys, I don't trust her and I hope Dana gets a pre-nup. Tina: She should go see Joyce Wischnia. Alice: What? Don't get me involved in that. [One of the barristas hands Alice her coffee drink.] Alice: (to Shane) Bette totally reams me for uh, suggesting Tina see a lawyer. Shane: Well, I can't blame her. [Tina looks at Shane.] Shane: Sorry, Tina. Tina: Look, I've been taking care of people my whole life. It's about time I started to take care of myself. That's why I need a lawyer. [Alice hands Shane a cup.] Shane: Yeah, but... poor Bette. [Alice hands Tina a cup.] Tina: Well, she's not exactly an innocent party. Shane: I know, but... you know, getting a lawyer means that things will get ugly. Couldn't... couldn't you just try to... work it out together? Tina: Bette and I need to be on equal footing before there is any chance that we could work anything out. I need my autonomy. [Tina walks away. Shane looks sad.] [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. - TIM'S HOUSE - FRONT PORCH - DAY [Jenny and Robin are sitting on the steps.] Jenny: I don't think I wrote very well yesterday, and I think that Madame Birch didn't really like me. Robin: Huh, well. She's probably jealous because you're so gifted. And hot. Jenny: Of course. Robin: Come on. Come meet my friends. Today's the day. You're gonna love Ling-Ling. [Both get up to walk to Robin's car in the driveway.] Jenny: Okay. Okay now, Ling-Ling... Robin: Yeah. Jenny: ... is... the graphic designer! Right? Robin: Actually, not quite. Ling-Ling's seven months old. Jenny: (gasps) Okay. Robin: Um, her mom, Claudia, is the graphic designer. Jenny: Right. Robin: And her other mother, Margaret, is the geriatric nurse. Jenny: Right. Robin: Right? Jenny: Right. Right. Alright. [Robin opens the passenger door for Jenny and leans on the doorframe as they talk.] Jenny: And they have, um, an adopted Chinese baby. Robin: Yeah. Jenny: Okay, who else? Uh, is it - is it all gonna be couples today? Robin: Mm... Yeah. Jenny: Huh. Robin: Yeah, most of my friends are married. Jenny: (nods) Ah. Robin: They sort of, um, took care of me after, you know, Claybourne and I broke up. They were really happy when I met you. [Robin smiles and leans forward as if for a kiss. Instead, Jenny musses her hair and gets in the car.] INT. - NIRVANA BEAN COFFEE HOUSE - DAY [Dana and Alice are sitting at a small table, facing each other.] Alice: Does she know that we - we're having coffee? Dana: Oh, she's in Newport Beach with her family. Alice: (nods) Mm-hmm. Dana: (sips coffee) No, she doesn't know, but I'm not - I'm not hiding it. [They stare at each other. Dana smiles.] Dana: So. Alice: Well if she's at the beach, we could have just met at your place, like the good ol' days. [They smile.] Dana: But... we have rules and we're trying to follow them. [They lean closer together. Alice thinks. Dana looks nervous.] Alice: Does that mean that you're finding... it... a li - difficult... Dana: No. No, not at all, you? [Dana moves in closer. The both stare at the table, but their faces are inches apart.] Alice: Piece of cake. [They look into each other's eyes.] EXT. - L.A. STREETS - DAY [Shots of houses, apartment buildings, streets and traffic.] INT. - ROBIN'S FRIENDS' HOUSE - DAY [Baby Ling-Ling sits in a high-chair, playing in some food.] Nora's partner: Come on Ling-Ling. Come on, say your word. Come on Ling-Ling. Come on, say your word. [Three women - Nora, Claudia, and Nora's partner - sit on a couch. One of them is heavily pregnant. Jenny sits in a chair next to them. Robin sits behind her, on the arm of the chair. A few feet away is baby Ling-Ling in a high-chair. Margaret sits next to the baby, feeding it.] Nora's partner: Oh, she just said her first word. Come on, say your word. (looks at Jenny) Do you want to have children, Jenny? Jenny: (smiling) Oh, gosh, I - I - I - I don't know. [Robin smiles.] Jenny: I don't know. You know, I - I just kind of feel like I shouldn't be thinking about it now, you know. Nora: You've got all the time in the world. Now Robin should probably be the first to get pregnant. [Jenny looks at Robin. Robin laughs.] Robin: Nora, what are you doing? Nora: Well, you gotta get on with it. (to Jenny) Robin's gonna make a great mother, Jenny. She's a born nurturer. Jenny: Yes. She's a - she's a very kind lady. Nora's partner: It's, uh, a little soon for them to be talking about children, Nora. Margaret: Oh, come on, we're lesbians. We talk about everything. [Jenny forces a smile.] Nora: Yeah and anyway, one of the problems with Claybourne was that they didn't talk enough. I mean, Robin didn't even know that Clayborne didn't believe in monogamy until the day of the wedding. Claudia: (to Jenny) Did you know that Claybourne cheated on Robin at their own wedding? [Robin purses her lips and tosses up her hands. Jenny smiles uncomfortably.] Margaret: You should have been there. She was stunning. We'd like to see her in that tux again. [The women smile at Jenny. Jenny giggles uncomfortably.] INT. - TIM'S HOUSE - DAY [Jenny and Robin walk in the front door. There are a few boxes, lamps and a couple of small pieces of furniture in the living room. Robin comes in and closes the door behind her.] Jenny: Thank you very much for the day. Robin: Ah, you're welcome. Jenny: (clears throat) Um... Robin: Do you want to be alone or... can I come in? Jenny: Um, I don't. I think that we need to talk. Robin: Oh. [Jenny sits down and sighs. Robin sits down next to her.] Robin: Okay. Talk to me. Jenny: I like you very much. Robin: (chuckles) Hmm, that's a very bad way to begin a conversation. Jenny: Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just not ready to be married again. Robin: Well Jen, I haven't asked you to marry me. Jenny: Robin, it's so obvious to me that's what you want. And I kind of feel like... I don't know, that you set me up or something. Robin: Oh, no, no, no. No, they leapt to that conclusion 'cause that's what they want for me. Ya know? You can't punish me just because my friends want me to find, you know, an equitable partner. Jenny: Okay, I'm - I'm not trying to punish you. Look, Robin, I'm just realizing that, um, I need to... I - I just need to be alone right now. Robin: Jen, you can have time alone. (smiling) You don't have to be with me every second. [Jenny gets up.] Jenny: Okay, um... uh... (thinks) I need to try and be self-sufficient. [Robin shrugs a little, not understanding.] Jenny: Well, I've never really been on my own before... and... I think that I need to just... to feel scared. Robin: Oh, there's nothing to be scared of. I - I'm not a scary person. I'm a loving - Jenny: (impatient) Oh Robin, come on. I mean I'm - I'm so - I'm terrified of being on my own. I just gotta make myself do it, Robin, and I can't - I can't distract myself by creating all this f*cking labyrinth-like drama that I'm so good at creating and I promise you... that you do not want to get sucked into my f*cking bullshit. Robin: (stands up) You know what? Don't. Okay? Don't - don't tell me what I want and don't want. I know what I f*cking want. [Robin starts moving towards the door.] Jenny: Okay, well I'm gonna speak for myself. Robin: (sarcastic) Please. Jenny: This is uh - this is what I want. Robin: I can't believe you're doing this. [Jenny leans against the wall.] Robin: I... I can't go through this again. Jenny: I don't know Robin, that's why I'm saying we should stop now before we actually go through anything. Robin: Can I ask you something? Uh. (hesitates) (voice wavering) Did I blow it by taking you to meet my friends today? Jenny: No. I think that your friends seem like really good people. And they seem, uh... very mature and very um... (shrugs) settled in their life. Robin: So, um... you don't want to be in a relationship? Jenny: No, I don't. Robin: You just wanna sleep with people. Make them fall in love with you, so you can f*ck with their heads. Jenny: No, that's not what I want. Robin: Well, that's what you did. Jenny: (looking down) Great. [Robin chuckles, hurt.] Jenny: That's why I think we should end this right now before... (sighs) I disappoint you any more than I obviously have. [Jenny looks at Robin. After a moment, Robin walks out. Jenny sits down and hangs her head. Robin's car is heard leaving.] EXT. - MANDARETTE CHINESE CAFE - NIGHT [The restaurant is on the corner of a busy boulevard. Bette pulls up to the front of the restaurant. Her phone rings.] Bette: (phone) Hello? This is she. INT. - MANDARETTE CHINESE CAFE - NIGHT [Tonya, Dana, Tina, Shane and Alice sit around a table having dinner. The point of view as they talk is from the lazy Susan in the center of the table.] Tina: I don't think that women, especially lesbians, should exploit other women. Shane: Well, the strippers I know do it because they love it. Tonya: Wait a minute, haven't you ever had a lap dance? [Tina shrugs and shakes her head.] Tonya: Is there anyone else here who hasn't had a lap dance? [Dana looks at the ceiling. Tonya nuzzles her neck.] Tonya: Oh, my innocent little sweetie! Would you like one? [Dana gives her an 'are you kidding' look. Alice eyes them.] Alice: That would be okay with you? Tonya: Well, if Dana wanted one. But she doesn't want anyone else's booty in her booty right now. Do ya, Pookie? [Dana smiles a little uncomfortably. She takes a drink and stares at Alice. Alice, with a mouthful of noodles, stares back. Shane, between them, first sees Dana, then follows her gaze to Alice. She quickly looks back and forth between them.] Shane: Woah. [Shane chokes a little on her food. She realizes something's going on.] Alice: What? Shane: (coughing a little) Mm, just - Dana! (lifts drink and smiles) She's getting married! EXT. - MANDARETTE CHINESE CAFE - NIGHT [Bette gets out of her car and hands her keys to the valet.] Bette: Hey. I'm just picking up. I'll be two minutes. Thanks. [Bette enters the restaurant.] INT. - MANDARETTE CHINESE CAFE - NIGHT [Back at the table.] Tina: I don't think I want the first woman to ever touch me other than Bette to be a stripper. Tonya: Did I hear what I think I just heard? Bette's the only woman you've ever been with? Tina: You heard it right, missus. Tonya: (chuckling) Oh-ho. We are getting you a lap dance tonight. [The girls laugh. Meanwhile, oblivious that they're there, Bette hears the laughter while she waits at the front to get her order. She looks over; Tonya and Dana see her and the change in mood attracts the gaze of the others. Everyone looks over to see Bette. Bette and Tina exchange sorrowful glances, then Tina turns away. Bette picks up her order and walks out.] EXT. - MANDARETTE CHINESE CAFE - NIGHT [Bette hands the valet her ticket. He gives her the car keys.] Bette: (sad) Here you go. Thanks. [Shane suddenly runs out of the restaurant.] Shane: Hey Bette. Bette! [Bette stops.] Shane: (a beat) I'm sorry. Bette: (quietly) Thanks. [Bette gets in her car. Shane comes to the window.] Shane: Wait, wait. [Shane struggles for a moment to say something.] Shane: This sucks. Bette: (teary-eyed) Yeah, this sucks. [Bette and Shane look at each other sadly.] Bette: Listen, I gotta go. I gotta go meet Kit, so... Shane: I'm just uh... I'm just sorry. (a beat) I'm really sorry. Bette: (sad smile) Thanks. [Bette hesitantly starts the car and drives off. Shane watches her go, and re-enters the restaurant.] EXT. - STRIP CLUB - NIGHT [A strip club. Lots of neon lights. Music booms.] INT. - STRIP CLUB - NIGHT [Sexy dance music plays. Women dance on stage in various states of undress, in front of a crowd that is mostly men.] [Alice, Tina, Tonya, Dana, and Shane walk in. They stop and look around.] Alice: (to Tina) Whaddaya think, huh? Tina: I think it's hideous. Alice: Well, they're all different, you know? Some have real boobies. Keep looking, I'm sure you'll see some you like. [Shane walks off to do her own thing. Tonya takes Dana up to where a woman is dancing. Dana looks extremely shocked and nervous. Tonya admires the dancer, then slips a dollar between her breasts. She hands a dollar to Dana.] Tonya: C'mon, honey. It's good fun. C'mon. [Dana takes the dollar and averts her eyes as she slips it into the stripper's g-string. Tonya kisses Dana. A few feet away, Tina stands around looking around really uncomfortably.] INT. - THE PLANET - NIGHT [The Planet is closed for business. Chairs are stacked on all the tables except one. Bette and Kit sit at the table, eating the takeout from Mandarette's.] Bette: Well, maybe we can get Mister Ferrer to give you more time. I can go to the bank with you and we can try again. Kit: (laughing) Try what? Bette: Try to get them to lend you the full amount. I can put up some artwork as collateral. Kit: (sighs) No, I can't have you do that, it's too much. You're already putting yourself on the line. (sighs) Bette: You know, I wouldn't be doing this if I thought I was gonna lose my shirt, okay? Kit: (smiling a little) Thank you. That means the world to me. I don't think Marina's daddy's gonna give us a break. He sounds like he wants to get this over with fast. [Bette puts her hand on Kit's shoulder.] INT. - STRIP CLUB - NIGHT [Shane is having a beer and watching a stripper. A waitress walks past, takes an admiring look at Shane, then comes back.] Waitress: Hey there, good lookin'. Can I get ya anything to drink? Shane: (holds up her beer) Thanks. Waitress: Well... can I offer you anything else? I've got a lot to offer. Shane: I'm with my friends, but maybe later. Waitress: Maybe later. [The waitress starts to walk away, but steps back.] Waitress: You're a player, right? Shane: (chuckles) Right. Yeah. [The waitress walks off. Shane seems a little uncomfortable with the waitress' assessment. She takes a pull from the beer and watches the stripper.] INT. - STRIP CLUB - BATHROOM - NIGHT [The bathroom is barely big enough for a toilet stall and a sink. Alice glumly stares at herself in the mirror. The door opens. Dana enters.] Dana: Oh, sorry. Alice: (surprised) What are you doing here? Dana: I have to go to the bathroom. Alice: You have to get out, that's against the rules. Dana: No, I have to go to the bathroom, Al. Alice: Are you three? Can't you hold it for a minute? Dana: No. Alice: Fine. Fine. Go on. [Alice leans against the sink so Dana can squeeze past. As Dana does, Alice turns to face her. They're thisclose.] Alice: Go on. [One second away from kissing, Tonya suddenly barges in. Alice and Dana jump away from each other.] Tonya: You guys! Hurry up! Tina's found someone she likes, I think. Alice: Wow! That's exciting! [Alice heads back into the club. Tonya squeezes past Dana into the stall. Dana turns to leave, but Tonya drags her in.] Tonya: C'mere! [Under the stall door we see Tonya's pants drop to the ground.] Tonya: We gotta be quick! INT. - THE PLANET - NIGHT [Kit brings a couple of drinks to the table. A motorcycle is heard outside.] Bette: Jesus, is that him? Kit: Count Dracula rides a Hog? [Bette laughs.] Kit: Excellent. Maybe he's more down-to-earth than I thought. [Ivan walks through the door.] Ivan: Ladies. Kit: Ivan... what are you doing here? Ivan: I have a cashier's check for $50,000 dollars, I'm coming in as your partner. Kit: (gets up, smiling) Oh, Ivan... Ivan: It's a business arrangement, Kit. Straight up. I'm in because I like this plan. I'm your silent partner. I have nothing to do with your day-to-day. Okay? I don't need to hear from you, I won't be hanging around. I see a statement once a month. Kit: But Ivan - Ivan: That's how it's gotta be. If you want it. [Kit sighs and looks at the check in Ivan's hand. She takes it. She looks at Ivan sadly.] Ivan: Good luck. [Ivan smiles and winks at Kit, and leaves. Kit looks like she wants to say something, but it's too late. Bette frowns.] INT. - STRIP CLUB - NIGHT [Shane and Alice walk through the club.] Shane: So you wanna tell me what's going on? Alice: I dunno, supposedly Tina found a girl she likes. Shane: No, I mean with you and Dana. Alice: (looking at Shane) I don't know what you're talking about. Are you guys getting it on yet, or what? No! Okay. Okay. We kissed! How'd you figure... does anyone else know? - Doubt it. - You're a freak, you know that, Shane? Check it out. - Excuse me, ladies. - Hi. You go, girl. Give her some encouragement, T. Do you notice anything about her? Yeah, she looks a little bit like Bette. I am Manfredi de la Francesco Ferrer. Si? Oh, si, buonasera Count - Manfredi. Si. I don't have a lot of time, so just show me what I need to know. The money is in place? I want a glass of wine. Uh, red or white? Red. French or Italian. Not one of those California abominations. Well I've heard that California wines are pretty good these days. I hate Los Angeles. I don't know why Marina came here. This is a loan for $75,000 dollars, with a contingency. Si? Uh, si, yes. I have here $50,000 dollars in a cashier's check. I think Marina felt she had a home here. She had a lot of good friends. Bullshit. Who are you? Which one is Kit Porter? - I am. - And you are? Bette Porter. - Ahh. Si. You're the one. - The one what? Such judges, you Americans. You sit in judgment on the whole world. Who gave you this power to judge? Now, wait a minute your highness, or whatever you would like for us to call you - Are you really such an exemplary person? Are you perfect, are you better than anyone else? No. No, I'm not. You're so conventional, you Americans. Thinking one style of life is better than another? - We have so many ways. - Look, I know that I judged Marina too harshly, - but that doesn't give you the right - - The heart is stronger than the head. Remember. And everyone is capable to commit a passionate crime. And everyone deserves the compassion to start again. Amen to that. So how is your daughter, is she okay? - My daughter? - Marina. Marina is not my daughter. We are married twelve years. Marina is my wife! And she is in a hospital in Milano, and no thanks to your friendship. Everything looks here to be in order. My people will call you to conclude the business. Hey. Hey. So what did you all do? Nothing much. We just hung out. I'm glad you called me. I was... feeling pretty lonely. - Do you want one? - No thanks. Tina hired a lawyer, you know. Yeah, I heard. How did I let this get so f*cked up, Shane? - sh1t's not always in our control. - I used to think that it was. I learned early on that if you want to avoid that big mess that sucks and f*cks with your life..you just keep it simple. You mean like s*x with no emotional entanglements? Right. That's just me. I don't think that applies to you, you're a..very well-rounded individual. I don't know. I think... I just might like to study at your feet, Shane. Hey. Hey! Who's that? Oh hey! C'mon over and have a beer with us. Okay. Hello. Hey. We were just talking about s*x with no emotional entanglements. I like the sound of that. It's not for everyone. You know what? With the day that I've had, ..that sounds like that's for me. - Cheers. - Catching up on current events or something? Yes. These are all the local newspapers... ..with people advertising for roommates. I just put this ad in Craigslist, looking for a roommate. - I hope that I don't get a bunch of crazies. - So, you're looking for a roommate. Yeah. I don't even know... how to screen people, .. or what I should ask in rent. - Would they get their own room? - Yeah, yeah, it's like ... ..it's a two-bedroom house. We should talk. - Yeah? - Yeah. - Okay. - Why not, right? - Yeah! - Alright. Why are you laughing?

Tina hires a feminist lesbian lawyer named Joyce Wischnia ( Jane Lynch ) to help with her separation from Bette. Dana and Tonya have a get-together with Dana's parents to discuss their upcoming nuptials. Ivan gives Kit the cold shoulder as she prepares to finalize her purchase of The Planet coffeehouse from Marina's visiting estranged husband. Jenny enrolls in a creative writing class at UCLA taught by the stern and cynical Charlotte Birch ( Sandra Bernhard ) in which the latest writing assignment makes Jenny decide to break up with Robin after she discovers Robin wishes to marry her. Dana and Tonya take Alice, Shane and Tina for a night on the town to a strip club where a girl, who looks like Bette, dances in front of her.

fd_Alias_02x18

fd_Alias_02x18_0

Sydney, wearing fatigues and a bulletproof vest, runs down a hall in an underground tunnel. She comes to a stop and shoots down a hall. Irina, at the other end of the hall, shoots back. They're both breathing heavily. Irina pauses. Sydney looks down the hall and Irina shoots at her while Sydney hides. Sydney shoots. Irina makes a run for it, going to a ladder that leads up to the ground above. She starts climbing. Sydney runs after her and stops, her gun raised.) SYDNEY: Freeze! (Irina pauses, a few steps from making it to the ground above, and turns to Sydney. She looks at her. And then starts to move up the ladder. Sydney shoots her.) IRINA: Ugh! (Irina falls on the ground, wincing. A helicopter whirs, approaching the ground. Sydney walks up on the ground over and crouches beside the fallen person. Vaughn runs up, also in fatigues.) VAUGHN: (to comm) We have a casualty. Woman down. We need a medic. (Dixon walks over to them, looking devastated. Sydney cries, on her knees. She puts her head down beside their body.) (Los Angeles. Five days earlier. Sydney and Vaughn walk into the ops center together.) VAUGHN: They'll probably keep me in debrief for a while. SYDNEY: You'll be okay. VAUGHN: If you never see me again, it was fun. SYDNEY: Shut up. AGENT: Mr. Vaughn, Mr. Yeager would like to-- VAUGHN: Talk to me. Yeah, I know. (The agent takes off Vaughn's ID badge on his chest. He nervously smiles at Sydney and leaves with the agent, walking away down the hall. Sydney spots her father and walks to him.) SYDNEY: Dad, I need to talk to you about Vaughn. JACK: I know he's under investigation. SYDNEY: He's innocent. He was investigating Mom. It wasn't treason. JACK: Sydney, the operation in Panama didn't go as planned. SYDNEY: What happened? Is it--is Mom okay? JACK: Your mother betrayed us. Betrayed the CIA. Her meeting with Sloane was staged to secure her escape. SYDNEY: You don't know that. Sloane could've set up the meet to abduct her. JACK: Before the operation, she swapped the Rambaldi manuscript. She left us with a fake. She and Sloane are now in possession of the original. Sydney, they planned this. (In the hallway going to Irina's cell. The cell bars raise as Dixon walks in. He looks in the cell at Sydney, who is sitting on Irina's bed. He sits next to her.) DIXON: I heard about your mother. I'm... so sorry. There's a briefing in ten minutes, they're drawing up a plan to capture Sloane and your mother. I'm supposed to tell you you're not obligated to go. (Sydney looks over at him and shows him the earrings Irina got from her mother.) SYDNEY: My mother's earrings. They found a note she left, she wanted me to have them. (looks away) Just now, when my dad was telling me, the first thought I had was that she was dead, that she'd been killed. I had this whole thing in my head that she died proving herself a hero. DIXON: No one can be blamed for trusting their own mother. SYDNEY: I wish she had been killed. (On a private plane Irina, Sloane and Sark sit together. Sark remains silent, looking at his laptop screen.) IRINA: I still have operatives in St. Petersburg, Madrid and Cairo. SLOANE: How reliable? IRINA: Reliable. SLOANE: Good. You, are you all right? IRINA: The extraction went well. SLOANE: I'm asking about you, Irina. IRINA: I'm happy to see you again. SLOANE: I was thinking the same thing myself. What about the genetic database? IRINA: Sark and I will meet you back in Zurich. As soon as they're acquired, you'll have the files. SLOANE: Good. I'll be in Tuscany with Emily. IRINA: How is she? SLOANE: She's in remission. The hard part for her now is missing the people she had to leave behind. Especially Sydney. You know how much we loved her as if she were our own. IRINA: (to Sark) Excuse us. (Sark takes his laptop and leaves. Irina leans forward.) IRINA: I see through you. You must know that. SLOANE: This is who I am. IRINA: You may need to think of yourself as an honorable husband, a father figure. But I don't. I will never see that man in you, which frankly is why we have this agreement. SLOANE: You need to get some rest. IRINA: Never talk to me about your love for Sydney again. SLOANE: Get some rest. (He gets up and leaves her. She sits back in her seat.) (Briefing with Kendall, Jack, Dixon, Sydney, and Marshall. Kendall stands, addressing the room.) KENDALL: As many of you know, our attempt to capture Arvin Sloane failed. We believe that Irina Derevko, while in our custody, somehow made contact with Sloane, informed him of our intention to apprehend him, and used it as an opportunity to escape. Due to Jack Bristow's intimate knowledge of the fugitive in question and his longstanding written record of accurate predictions regarding Derevko, Langley has given him operational control of this task force. (Kendall sits. Jack stands.) JACK: In all likelihood, Sloane and Derevko have formed a strategic partnership. As of this morning, our single aim will be their apprehension. Derevko has been tagged with a passive tracking device-- MARSHALL: Um, excuse me, sir, sorry to interrupt. Um, by the way, congratulations on the heading the operation task force... thing. The device that we implanted into Derevko isn't passive. JACK: Yes, it is. I removed the original device in case Derevko was swept for bugs. Without her knowledge, I injected her with a passive transmitter. MARSHALL: Wow. Actually that's really smart because, well, basically if they do a bug sweep they won't pick up anything until it transmits. Hey, how'd you plant it without her knowing? (Pause.) JACK: The transmitter is programmed to send a signal twelve hours from now. That allows her enough time to reach Sloane before going active. A tactical team's on standby out of Edwards airforce base. Once we acquire the signal, we'll move in and take them into custody. (Tuscany. At their villa, Sloane and Emily walk by the pool.) EMILY: I don't know what to say. This house is... when will we know if they accept our offer? SLOANE: I closed last week. EMILY: What? SLOANE: (laughs) Oh, I wanted to surprise you. Just wanted to make you happy. EMILY: These past few months have been like a dream. Thank God we got through it. SLOANE: I love you. (They kiss.) (Target practice. Sydney shoots at a sheet and removes her ear protectors.) VAUGHN: Nice grouping. SYDNEY: Hey. (They kiss. The sheet whirs up.) SYDNEY: What happened? VAUGHN: They downgraded my security clearance but only temporarily until counterintelligence clears me officially. Meanwhile your father convinced them to keep me field-rated. SYDNEY: Then you heard about my mother. VAUGHN: Yeah. (Sydney puts a new sheet up and it whirs back into place.) SYDNEY: You were right to investigate her. VAUGHN: Sydney... SYDNEY: No, it's okay. It's the truth. I'm not blaming you, it's me. I was so naive about her. VAUGHN: I don't think you should be a part of this task force. Look, you know how I feel about Irina Derevko but no one should have to hunt down their own mother, no matter what the circumstances are. SYDNEY: She was never my mother. VAUGHN: You wanna believe that? SYDNEY: Don't do this to me again. Don't condescend. VAUGHN: That's not what I'm doing, you know that. Look, if you corner her and you hesitate to pull the trigger, even for one second, it could cost you your life. (Sydney puts glasses on and the ear protectors. She aims her gun at the sheet.) SYDNEY: I won't hesitate. (She fires.) (Kendall and Jack are in the ops center.) KENDALL: Let me be blunt, Jack. I accepted your recommendation to trust Derevko because you made a strong argument. A personal one. An argument which I now understand you didn't believe, or you would have never gone to the trouble of placing a passive transmitter on that woman without informing me. It was my call to let her out and I stand by that decision but you blindsided me, you son of a bitch! And your pretense of an apology doesn't do either of us any good. JACK: I'll be equally blunt. From the moment Irina Derevko walked in this door, you ordered Sydney to deal with her, over my objections, with absolute disregard for her emotional well being. KENDALL: That was my perogative, and I stand by that call. JACK: With that said, it's not my intention to replace you. As soon as I'm satisfied that Derevko can never harm my daughter again, you'll have your title back. (Marshall hesitantly approaches.) MARSHALL: Uh, excuse me... actually, I'm really not sure who I'm supposed to address because, you know, you're both standing here. Who's in charge...? JACK: What IS IT, Marshall! KENDALL: What do you WANT? MARSHALL: Um, the passive transmitter that Mr. Bristow injected into his wife -- ex-wife, sorry -- well, um, it just went active. And we're tracking her. (Plane. Sydney and Vaughn talk to a group of agents.) SYDNEY: Base ops, let's track Derevko's signal to Stuttgart. Once on the ground, we will confirm the signal with visual identification but we will not engage until we know the whereabouts of all three. (They circulate a photograph of Sloane, Irina and Sark.) VAUGHN: We move in only after Derevko's led us to Sloane. (Stuttgart. Irina, wearing a business suit, walks with a German businessman.) IRINA: Like many pharmaceutical companies, the firm I represent has closely monitored your work mapping the human genome. We are interested in licensing that work. (Outside the building, Sark sits in a van, listening in and looking at his laptop.) OFFICIAL: We're in the process of fielding many such offers. I'm afraid your firm, Schtat Pharmaceuticals, I'm not familiar. IRINA: Oh, we are a small Scandinavian consortium, but I will not have come all this way if I did not believe my offer was significant. (She hands him a card with their price.) OFFICIAL: I will show you where the data is processed. Right this way. IRINA: Thank you. SARK: (on comm) Servers are located in sublevel E. Beyond radio contact. When you're prepared for extraction, I'll be standing by. (Inside their own van, Sydney and Vaughn are on comm with Kendall, Jack and Marshall back in LA. Sydney and Vaughn have a couple of agents in the van with them.) SYDNEY: We're two blocks away from the tracking signal. Any intel on that location? JACK: Brucker Biotech. They're the German equivalent of the human genome project. KENDALL: We're running a complete analysis of the company, every patent they hold, biographies of the board members, political contributions. VAUGHN: Sloane and Derevko are getting their hands on genetic research. That can't be good. MARSHALL: All right, I've hacked into their CCTV system, I'm relaying the feed to you now. (Their screen is split into four quadrants, showing four security camera angles.) SYDNEY: Let's see what we've got. AGENT: Agent Bristow, we're pulling into position. (From his van across the street, Sark watches out the windshield as the nondescript green CIA van pulls up and a man climbs out. Sark's suspicious.) (Outside the building, Sark climbs the steps with a cell phone and briefcase.) SARK: Hello, my name is Peter Garo, I'm Ms. Hertzgar's assistant. I'm just pulling up and running late as it is. Would it be possible to have a pass waiting for me at the front desk? Thank you. (Sydney watches the CCTV feed as Sark walks in the building, catching himself on the security cameras.) SYDNEY: Sark. VAUGHN: We have a visual ID, he's entering the building. JACK: We see him. Hold your position. KENDALL: For now. We've confirmed Derevko and Sark, that's good enough for me. JACK: Noted. (The official leads Irina inside the server room.) OFFICIAL: It took fifteen years of analysis, but we finally assembled all the information in a high-resolution DNA map of equal detail. (Sark comes barging in. Irina looks, surprised, as he calmly shoots out the camera. The signal goes static. He then shoots the official in the chest, sending him backwards into a chair, dead.) SYDNEY: Sark's taking out surveillance cameras, we just lost the feed. KENDALL: They may know we're here. (Inside the server room.) SARK: There's a tactical team in a van out front. We've been tracked. I've swept myself, I'm clean. (He takes out a bug sweeper that acts much like a metal detector. He runs it down and up Irina's body. It beeps when he runs it in front of her breasts.) IRINA: Jack. (Back in LA.) KENDALL: The mission's been compromised. JACK: It's harder now, obviously, but not impossible. KENDALL: If we don't go in now, we could lose everything. JACK: The transmitter is still active, we can track them. Sloane is the objective, remember that. KENDALL: Sloane may or may not be here. They may or may not be working with Sloane. (Sark takes out a medical kit.) SARK: I don't understand, when we extracted you from the CIA, we scanned you for transmitters. IRINA: It must've been on a time delay. (She opens her business suit jacket, revealing just her black bra underneath. Sark takes out two electro medical paddles. He looks at her, unsure.) IRINA: Do it. (Leaning up against the wall, she braces herself. Sark shocks her chest with the paddles, scrambling the signal. Irina grunts in pain. The signal is lost on Marshall's computer in LA.) MARSHALL: We lost her! JACK: How? MARSHALL: I don't know, flagged somehow. Overloaded, I guess. The signal's gone, there's nothing I can do. SYDNEY: Look, if we lose her now, we lose her for good! JACK: Move in. SYDNEY: (to assembled agents) Call Rutger security, tell them we have two wanted terrorists on the premises. Have them seal the building immediately, we will meet them in the lobby. (At a computer, Irina takes out a disk.) IRINA: This will get us into the hard drive. SARK: Is the file on the network? IRINA: Yes, but it's encrypted. I'll transfer the file and we can cypher it later. SARK: How long to download? IRINA: Five minutes. Make sure there is no evidence that we were here. SARK: All right, I'll take care of it. I'll set the detonation for six minutes. Meet me at the extraction point. (In the boiler room, Sark leaves a bomb that is set for six minutes. He leaves.) (Sydney runs down a hall in the main building, her gun out. Irina's computer is finished downloading, she removes the disk. Sydney enters the server room and finds the dead official. She turns and leaves. In a stairwell leading to the hallways, Vaughn and another agent climb the stairs. The agent opens the door and Sark is there. He hits the man, knocking him out. Vaughn struggles with Sark, punching him once. Sark elbows Vaughn in the face, sending him down a few stairs. They grab at each other, Sark throwing Vaughn against the railing which makes Vaughn drop his gun. Sark hits Vaughn and he goes tumbling down a few steps, stopping on the landing. Sark grabs Vaughn's fallen gun and points it at him, coming down the stairs, coming closer. He shoots Vaughn in the chest. Vaughn gasps in pain, turning away. Sark is about to shoot him again when his gun is shot out of his hand. He looks up at Sydney, a floor above, with her gun raised. Sark runs. Sydney runs down the stairs.) SYDNEY: Vaughn! Vaughn! (She turns him towards her. She unzips his jacket and sees the bullet lodged in his vest. She kisses his forehead.) SYDNEY: You're okay? VAUGHN: Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay. SYDNEY: Come on. (She helps him up.) (Thirty-five seconds left on the bomb.) (In the building, she runs down a hall with Vaughn.) VAUGHN: What about Derevko? SYDNEY: She's got to be here. IRINA: Sydney! (They stop and turn. Behind them is Irina. She looks at Sydney.) SYDNEY: Dad, I see her! (Irina turns and runs the other way, down the hall.) SYDNEY: We're going after her! She's exiting the building! (Eight seconds left. Vaughn and Sydney run out of the building together with four seconds left. They look around for Irina just as the bomb goes off, making all the windows explode. Vaughn grabs Sydney and they run for cover.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Tuscany. Sloane walks in the kitchen, talking on his cell phone. Emily is at the counter, chopping vegetables.) SLOANE: Yeah. I'll talk to you later. (He hangs up and puts his cell on the counter. He smiles at Emily.) SLOANE: What's for dinner? EMILY: Riboletta. It's bread and vegetable soup. (He kisses her.) SLOANE: Mmm. Well, sounds great. I'll get the rebello. EMIILY: Okay. (He leaves the room. His cell phone rings. Emily glances over at it, continues to chop. It rings again. Again. Again. Finally, she answers it.) EMILY: Hello? IRINA: May I speak with your husband? EMILY: Yes, just a moment. (Sloane comes into the kitchen with the bottle of wine.) EMILY: It's for you. It's a woman. SLOANE: Thanks. (on phone) Yeah? (Irina is in a vehicle with Sark, who drives.) IRINA: I've recovered the file. I was tracked. SLOANE: By whom? IRINA: CIA. Until we know otherwise, we have to assume you've been exposed as well. You better leave the house until we know for sure. SLOANE: Yeah. I agree. IRINA: Meet me at the airfield. SLOANE: Okay. (He hangs up and looks at Emily.) SLOANE: We have to leave. EMILY: What? Who was that? SLOANE: I will explain everything later. But we have to leave the house, it's just a precaution. EMILY: Against what? What's going on? SLOANE: Emily, listen to me! We have to leave the house now. EMILY: I don't understand... SLOANE: Look at me! You have to trust me, Emily. Please! You have to trust me! (Briefing. Vaughn, Sydney, Marshall, Jack, Will.) WILL: Aside from cancer studies, Brucker sponsored genetic research, specifically the mapping of sequencing human chromosomes. But it's rumored that they've catologued the DNA of private citizens. Some say millions. MARSHALL: Well, if that's true then, for one... um, I'm sorry to interrupt, I just--Is that suede? WILL: Yes. MARSHALL: Um, Sloane could develop a gentically targeted virus or he could pollute the entire water supply just to kill one specific person when he or she takes a drink of water or takes a shower then the water would permeate the system. JACK: I'll instruct the NSA to add every derivation of genome and genetics to the Echelon watchlist. (The meeting over, people stand up, ready to leave. Marshall turns to Sydney.) MARSHALL: Uh, excuse me, one thing. Did you say that before the explosion, your mother called out your name? SYDNEY: Yes. MARSHALL: Well, why'd she do that? Does that seem weird to anyone or is that just me? It's cool if it is just me. It is just me, isn't it? JACK: Irina may have wanted to save Sydney's life. SYDNEY: I doubt that's the case. (A plane is waiting at an airfield. Sloane and Emily board.) EMILY: What do you mean, you own this? SLOANE: It's my plane, sweetheart. It's ours. EMILY: Arvin, I've been more than patient. It's enough. (Irina stands up from her seat.) IRINA: Hello. EMILY: I don't... understand... (Irina comes closer and gives Emily a hug. Emily is frightened and shocked.) EMILY: Laura... Laura, I thought... IRINA: Arvin will tell you. (to Sloane) The disk, as promised. (She leaves them alone.) SLOANE: Emily, sit down. EMILY: How long have you known that she was alive? SLOANE: A couple of months. EMILY: And you didn't tell me this? What the hell is going on? SLOANE: Emily. EMILY: Tell me. Don't treat me like a fool! Stop telling me that the deception is over! SLOANE: I had to wait. I wanted to make sure it was going to work. EMILY: What are we doing here with a woman who died twenty years ago? SLOANE: What I'm pursuing, this truth... EMILY: Truth. Good, well, that explains it all. I guess you and I are looking for the same thing! SLOANE: Emily, what I'm looking for, among other things, will let you live cancer free. EMILY: I am cancer free. SLOANE: Forever. (Francie's restaurant. Will, Francie, Sydney and Vaughn sit at a table together.) WILL: Wait, wait, wait, wait, you're saying in high school my girlfriend dated a quarterback? SYDNEY: I mean, it was no big deal. He was just this, like... god. (They laugh.) SYDNEY: What was his name? Frank or Hank? FRANCIE: I forgot all about that guy. (Sydney looks at her strangely.) FRANCIE: (to Vaughn) Wow, you know, I went shopping the other day and I saw something that reminded me of you. (She hands over a gift box to Vaughn.) SYDNEY: You bought Vaughn a present? FRANCIE: Why not? WILL: Because it's the weirdest thing of all time? FRANCIE: I just saw something and it reminded me of him. I don't know, maybe you can do that for me sometime. WILL: Nice... thanks. SYDNEY: Well, see, you're making me look bad. I still haven't bought him anything. FRANCIE: Sydney was always saying you're wearing suits so I thought... (He opens it. It's a tie.) VAUGHN: Oh, wow... it's beautiful, thank you. That's very sweet. FRANCIE: You're welcome. (Will looks at her strangely. Sydney and Vaughn's beepers go off in unison.) SYDNEY: We have to go. (Ops center. Jack and an agent are seated in front of a computer.) SYDNEY: What's going on? JACK: You have to see this. VAUGHN: What is this? JACK: Security camera at our consulate in Florence last night. (Security footage shows Emily walk in, looking uncertain.) SYDNEY: She's alive? JACK: She walked through the front door, told the duty guard she is the wife of Arvin Sloane, that she wants to cooperate with the CIA and that she will only talk to you. (In Florence, Emily sits in a room, alone. Sydney enters and looks at her for a moment.) SYDNEY: I spoke at your funeral. EMILY: Arvin told me. (Sydney sits down.) EMILY: Yesterday I felt exactly the way you do now, seeing someone I thought was gone. SYDNEY: My mother. EMILY: (nods) You know. SYDNEY: Yes. EMILY: I never wanted to put you through that but Arvin and I had no choice. The Alliance had to believe I was dead. SYDNEY: You knew about his involvement with the Alliance and you stayed with him? EMILY: I know this is difficult for you to understand but when I found out I had cancer, Arvin was my tether to hope, to survival. And when I went into remission, he told me the truth. He asked for my forgiveness and promised he would make things right. He's been my whole world for thirty years, he saved my life. I couldn't deny my husband a second chance. SYDNEY: Except nothing's changed. I'm assuming that's why you're here. EMILY: He told me his plan, to find out what this man Rambaldi was working on. He rationalizes what he's done. He says he's doing it for us, for me. Even if I believe him, I won't be the excuse for his crimes. I won't live with that on my conscience. I'll help you bring him in but I need you to guarantee me something in return. SYDNEY: What? EMILY: That he won't get the death penalty. I want it in writing, before I tell you where he is. (Vaughn, Jack and Kendall at ops center.) KENDALL: We can't make that kind of deal! For all we know, Sloane sent his wife in to mislead us. VAUGHN: No, Sydney trusts Emily. KENDALL: Well, congratulations! But is that enough reason to take that chance? Why not threaten her with prosecution, compel her to tell us where she's meeting Sloane. VAUGHN: Prosecution for what? KENDALL: What, are you kidding me? Conspiracy, fraud, aiding and abetting a terrorist... JACK: We need Emily's cooperation and I believe she will lead us right to Sloane and Irina. KENDALL: Fine. It's your call anyway, isn't it? (Kendall stomps away. Jack looks at Vaughn.) JACK: Go to Florence with Dixon, I'll tell Sydney to make the deal. A tactical team will be ready for you by the time you land. (He gives a pat to Vaughn's shoulder and they walk away in different directions.) (Irina is on the phone with Sloane. She stands outside, while he's in a dark office somewhere.) IRINA: I'm meeting with a man this afternoon who can get us six hours in a KRX1 computer. It should be able to decrypt the genetic database. Are you there? SLOANE: What if I told you that I wanted you to buy me out? That I'd be willing to sell you the breath of my assets, my contacts, all the Rambaldi artifacts I've acquired over the last thirty years, everything? IRINA: I'd say that either you're setting me up to kill me or I underestimated your love for your wife. SLOANE: Well, I'm going back to Tuscany to see Emily. The house is safe. Emily's meeting me there. I'll bring the database with me, you can pick it up from me there. I can't blame Emily, she's right. I want out. (At the consulate, Sydney slides over a thick document to Emily.) SYDNEY: This document guarantees that the justice department will not pursue the death penalty for your husband. Take a few minutes to read it before you sign. EMILY: I don't need to. (She signs it.) SYDNEY: You understand you're going to have to wear a wire. The operation's being drawn up, the raid will be dangerous but you will be fine. We will protect you. EMILY: Sydney... I know I've disappointed you, that I chose to stay with Arvin, that I came here to ask you to show mercy for a man who took so much away from you. SYDNEY: You're in an impossible situation. At your funeral, I said that I've always thought of you as my real mother. I meant it. (She stands. Emily takes her hand and lets out a breath.) (At the villa, Emily stands alone, very nervous. She speaks via her wire.) EMILY: He's going to know. It's odd, I feel like I'm talking to myself. It's comforting to know that you're out there listening. (Sydney, in her fatigues like the beginning, hides in the trees outside the home. She nods over to Vaughn, also in fatigues. She and Vaughn and the other agents approach.) EMILY: Oh, God, I think he's here. (A car drives up and Sloane steps out with a bodyguard. Agents run ahead, hiding behind trees. Dixon among them. Irina gets out of the back of the car with Sloane and the guard. The three of them go inside the house. The CIA agents approach even closer, spotting one of Sloane's guards on the roof. They shoot him, climbing over the railing, getting in closer. Dixon runs up with Vaughn. Inside the mansion, Sloane walks with Irina.) SLOANE: The genetic database is in a safe in the study. It's just off to the left. This is the combination. (He takes out a card from his jacket pocket, hands it over.) IRINA: Are you certain about this? SLOANE: Yeah. Yeah. (Outside, Sydney and the agents wait.) (Sloane walks in the room where Emily stands. He looks at her.) SLOANE: I'm sorry. There's no point in my continuing if you're not with me. SYDNEY: We're on! EMILY: You said that before. SLOANE: (shrugs) It's different this time. EMILY: What changed so much in one day? SLOANE: Everything. (Outside with Sydney, Vaughn and the agents.) SYDNEY: When we hear Emily say she's going to the wine cellar, we move in. (Back inside the villa.) EMILY: The things you've done, there's just been too much suffering. SLOANE: You have every right to not believe me, but it doesn't matter. You will. I will never leave you again. (She takes a few steps away from him, crying a little.) EMILY: Arvin, I... I'm here to say goodbye. SLOANE: Emily... do you remember how it felt when I found you on the beach and I told you that it was over? EMILY: (crying) Arvin... SLOANE: All that matters is this. EMILY: Please... SLOANE: What we have, between us. EMILY: Just stop... SLOANE: That no one else is a part of. EMILY: (crying) Oh, God, please! Just stop! (Crying, she looks up at him. He's crying as well. Emily slowly unzips her shirt, showing him the wire taped to her chest. She yanks it off, breaking the connection. His chin quivers. Outside the house, Sydney looks at the agents.) SYDNEY: We've lost the signal, Sloane may have found the wire. EMILY: The CIA's been listening. They're here. (He cups her face.) SYDNEY: We have to go! (Sloane is crying.) SLOANE: Doesn't matter. All I need to know right now is if you want to come with me. EMILY: Come with you? SLOANE: If you don't want to, I'll understand, but Emily, please... you have to make your mind up right now. SYDNEY: Now! (They run to the house. Inside, Emily is weeping. She nods her head.) EMILY: Yes! I will. (He kisses her. Vaughn comes up to the glass door and tosses something inside. It goes off, causing a small explosion, which blows out the glass. Vaughn and Sydney enter. Sloane and Emily run past the hall.) VAUGHN: Sloane! (He looks up but keeps running. Vaughn shoots one of the guards. Sydney and Vaughn run down the hall together, coming closer. Sloane and Emily, hand in hand, run down a hall. They pass Irina. Sloane hits a button, opening a secret passage.) SLOANE: Come on. IRINA: Go! I have the disk, ready for extraction. SARK: Copy that. (Irina runs in the secret passage as well. Sydney comes up, gun raised. Sees it.) SYDNEY: They're in some kind of tunnel, it starts at the east. Check from the outside to see where it leads. VAUGHN: Copy. I'm on my way. (At the beginning now. Sydney and Irina exchange gunfire from opposite ends of the hall. Irina runs for the ladder. She's almost at the top.) SYDNEY: Freeze! Don't move! (Irina tries to continue going up, but Sydney shoots her in the shoulder. Irina drops the disk at Sydney's feet and hauls herself up.) IRIAN: Ugh! Ow... ahhh... (Irina drops to the ground. Sydney picks up the disk and climbs the ladder. A helicopter hovers near the ground with Sark leaning by the door. He shoots at Sydney, forcing her to take cover. Dixon has his gun pointed from the bushes as Sloane and Emily run across the backyard together, just like Irina. A helicopter flies over Dixon's head, distracting him, and his finger hits the trigger. Emily and Sloane fall to the ground. Irina runs up to them, cradling her bloody shoulder. Sloane cries, holding Emily's dead body. Dixon shot her. Sloane kisses her forehead. Irina grabs him with her good arm, pulling him up. Sydney runs. Sloane gets in the helicopter, staring at Emily's body. Irina climbs in.) SARK: Go, go, go! (They get in the air. Sloane looks down as Sydney runs over to Emily. Sloane sits back in his seat, crying.) SARK: Do you have the disk? (Irina shakes her head. They look down below as the helicopter flies away. Down on the ground, Sydney holds Emily's body. She has a gunshot right where her heart would be. Sydney cries. Dixon and Vaughn approach, Dixon looking devastated. Sydney cries.) (In LA, at Sydney's house, she's in bed, facing away from Vaughn.) VAUGHN: Syd? You okay? SYDNEY: I don't want to talk. Not now. (She takes his hand and kisses it. He gets in next to her, kissing the back of her neck. There's a ticking, beeping noise.) SYDNEY: Is that your phone? VAUGHN: Nuh-uh. Yours? SYDNEY: No. (They sit up. Sydney looks at her nightstand, opens the jewelry box where the noise is coming from. She takes out the earrings.) VAUGHN: What is that? SYDNEY: My mother's earrings. I thought they were checked? VAUGHN: They were. (They continue to beep.) VAUGHN: Wait... it's a repeating pattern. SYDNEY: Dash dot dash. VAUGHN: K. Definitely morse code. (Sydney grabs a piece of paper and pen. She starts writing.) SYDNEY: An E. That's a T. VAUGHN: Another T. (He sits up beside her. She writes the whole thing down: KESTIMETRUTHTA) VAUGHN: It's encoded. (She rips the sheet in three.) VAUGHN: What are you doing? (She shows him the message: TRUTH TAKES TIME)

Sydney faces off with her mother, while Emily must decide whether to side with her husband or betray him.

fd_The_Office_09x05

fd_The_Office_09x05_0

Dwight: This year I decided to really get into the spirit of Halloween. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: [screaming upon seeing pumpkin-headed Dwight] Dwight: [screaming then laughing] It may have been the costliest decision I've ever made. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: My greased up head went into the pumpkin no problem, but ... Jim: It won't budge. Dwight: I can't get it out. Try again! [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: I mean, I could try destroying the pumpkin... Dwight: [as Jim approaches with a knife] Jim, no. No. No! No! [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: But as Jim and I discovered... No! ... any blow to the pumpkin itself could prove fatal to me. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: At first I drove myself crazy thinking about the things I should have done differently. I never should have played that joke on Erin. I never should have hollowed out this damn pumpkin in the first place. Then I realized that I was being silly. I mean the pumpkin should rot off of my head in a month or two. Right? [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Hey guys. Pam: Hey. Erin: Pam, what are you? Pam: I am Dr. Cinderella. Jim: Cece's really into princesses now. So we decided to turn them into a positive female role models. Pam: I'm an oncologist and you are a dog. Erin: No, I'm a puppy. Dang it! I was worried that would happen. Jim: It's Okay. Erin: Uh, Jim, you're not dressed up at all. Jim: Sure I am. I am... one of the Men in Black guys. [to Pam, under his breath] Can I have your sunglasses? Erin: Jim, come on. I thought we were past this. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: So the sports marketing business that Jim told everyone about except for me? Jim: There's a big investment lunch today, so I decided to skip the costume. Pam: Unless he has a secret costume that he told everyone about except for me. Jim: Gettin' a lot of mileage out of this, aren't ya? Pam: Yeah, well, get used to it, bud. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: A jitterbug. [giggles] You guys look great! Just a reminder. The party is right after lunch, so make sure you get all your work done before that or throw it out. Any questions? Angela: The senator will be joining us later. Andy: Not a question. Angela: No, it wasn't. Andy: Excellent. That reminds me, has anyone seen Treble? Anyone? I could have sworn I saw some Treble somewhere. HCT: [singing] Andy: Oh, ladies and gentlemen, Here Comes Treble! HCT: [sings Karma Chameleon] Andy: Aaah! [everyone clapping] So good! Dwight: What lab did these little clones escape from? Andy: My Cornell a capella group. Pam: You were in an a capella group? Darryl: You went to Cornell? Andy: Yah! ah. Okay. Ha ha ha ha. But you have no idea how lucky you are because HCT is doing a set at our halloween party. Stanley: Ugh. I don't want to sit through a whole concert of that. Clark: I do. I love the boss's interests. Andy: Atta boy Clark! Meredith: Where you boys stayin? How does it work in the rooms? Do you get a privacy partition? Andy: No. Nope. Nope nope nope. Stay away. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: You know what I just realized? They might actually call me up to solo on George Michael's Faith. That was one of my signature songs. Oh, man. That would be insane. I'm so not prepared. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Are you sure you're okay with me putting in this much money. Pam: Yeah. I mean, listen if we're gonna do this thing, we should do it right. Jim: You're the best. Pam: I kind of am. It's crazy. Jim: Okay. I'll see you in a little bit. Pam: Okay. Dwight: Jim. Look I'm eating you. Jim: Shut up. Dwight: Ha ha. Hey Erin, look, these are Nerds. I'm eating Jims. Erin: [laughs] Dwight: [laughing] Must eat more Jims. Oink oink oink oink. Erin: [laughing hysterically] Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Dwight: Oh no, I'm spilling Jim all over the carpet. [laughing] Erin: Stop it stop it stop it stop it! Dwight: [picking up spilled candy] Hello little pill. What do you do? [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Dumatril is licensed to treat anxiety symptoms, such as panic attacks, excessive worrying, and fear. Translation: There's a madman in our midst. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Okay I give up. What are you? Nellie: I'm sexy Toby. Pam: [laughing] Gross. I love it. Dwight: Dumatril! Nellie: Something wrong Dwight? Dwight: Dumatril. Nellie: Yes? Dwight: This is a pill that I found here in the office. But it's not for worms or eczema like any normal pill. It's not for any disorder of the body. [whispering] It's for a disorder of the mind. Nellie: The mind is part of the body. Dwight: Okay, this is a pill that combats insanity, okay? Whoever is taking it is not only insane... [whispering] They are now off their meds. Nellie: Dwight, our co-workers' health issues are really none of our business so- Dwight: Why are you trying so hard to bury this thing, huh? What's going on Nellie? Talk to me. Nellie: Hm? [SCENE_BREAK] Nellie: It's my pill. I have an anxiety issue and I'm not ashamed of that, But I'm not loving the idea of Dwight having that information. I once saw him yell at Phyllis for sneezing wrong. [SCENE_BREAK] Nellie: Yeah, you're right. This man needs to be apprehended. Dwight: I'll get my apprehension kit. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Ruh duh duh da dudes! What's up? HCT: [mumbled responses] [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: I know that it's pathetic to re-live your college years, but cut me some slack, Okay? Because I was a freaking rock star in college. When I joined Here Comes Treble, that's when I became somebody. When I got the nickname "Boner Champ," that is when I became me. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: You didn't come here to sit in a room, right? You came here for some intergenerational bro time. Well, now's your chance! I'm here. You got Qs; I got As. HCT Member #1: Did you say you've got AIDS? Andy: No, I don't have AIDS. That's not what I said. Next question. [awkward silence] Andy: You don't have any-- Any questions about the old days? [clears throat] You at least want to know why they call me Boner Champ? HCT Member #2: I thought Broccoli Rob was the Boner Champ. Andy: I'm sorry, what? HCT Member #2: I just thought Broccoli Rob was the Boner Champ. Andy: Broccoli Rob was Broccoli Rob. Andy Bernard is the Boner Champ. [SCENE_BREAK] Pete: I didn't realize that everybody here dresses up every year. Creed: Me neither. [SCENE_BREAK] Creed: It's Halloween. That is really, really good timing. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: I was just talking to some of the actives, and they think that you're Boner Champ. Broccoli Rob: [on computer monitor] I'm so sorry! I don't know how that could have happened. Andy: Did you maybe tell them that or...? Broccoli Rob: I just-- I just started yappin' about the old days, and I guess the wine coolers were flowing, and, you know, somehow things just got hinky. Andy: Could you just call them and tell them the truth? 'Cause I know it's really stupid, but it's also really, really, really important. Broccoli Rob: Will do. I love you, Andy. Andy: Love you too. [SCENE_BREAK] Businessman #1: So the workspace looks awesome. Jim: Wow. Businessman #2: And the graphic designer is going to be sending in some of the logo treatments. I can't wait to see them. Businessman #3: You guys rock. [round of fistbumps] Businessman #1: I killed it. Businessman #2: I've also been running the numbers and between our backers and our own investments, we're looking great for a full year on this. Jim: Oh, uh, is it too late to get in? Businessman #3: Oh Jim, I explained everything. So you're all set. Jim: Oh, I actually talked to my wife and we'd really like to uh you know, invest - get in on the ground floor. Businessman #2: Wow, well what level of investment were you thinking about? Jim: We were thinking somewhere between five - ten thousand? I can do the full ten thousand. We should just - [blows air] - all in. Businessman #3: Welcome aboard! Jim: All right. [laughs] Awesome. Cool. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Hi Daryl. I'm just here to smear some peanut butter on my forehead. Nellie: You know, to uh, to protect his brain from the nanobots that the government put in the air conditioning. Dwight: That makes sense to you, right? Or does it sound... crazy? Darryl: I can't really picture it. Can you... get it on there. Yeah. And maybe, get the cheeks. Dwight: So this makes sense then. Or is it crazy? Darryl: Get under your chin first. Yeah. Dwight: Is that where the nanobots like to come in? Darryl: Take it all the way up to your lip, yeah. Dwight: Is that how they like to get in? Darryl: Yeah, that's crazy. Dwight: [whispering] I don't know. I just don't know. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Yo! Bad boys of a capella. HCT: [mumbling] Hey. Andy: Heard any good stories lately? Or new twists on old stories? HCT Member #3: Yeah, I got a call from Broccoli Rob. I guess you really are the Boner Champ. Andy: Did he tell you how I got the name? HCT Member #3: No. Andy: Spring sing '95. Got completely ripped on Bud Dries. I had s*x with a snowman. I just went at that thing. Cold would have stopped most people but I stayed locked in, you know. Took the face off. It just seemed easier that way. [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: And I told Phyllis not to put it out, but she insisted. So, anyway... Hi! Oh, Oscar, remember my husband, the senator? Oscar: Senator Lipton, nice to see you. Senator Lipton: Nice to see you Oscar. Angela: Wait a second, who designed this spread? The sweets and savories are all mixed together. This is mayhem! Senator Lipton: So Oscar, you're a dinosaur. Oscar: Actually I'm the electoral college. Senator Lipton: Ouch! Right on target. Angela: You know what? This is outrageous. I have to find Phyllis. You two talk, okay? Sorry babe.. Phyllis! Senator Lipton: God, it's just so good to see you. Oscar: I, uh, huh, just [chuckles nervously] Senator Lipton: All having this wonderful Halloween gathering. Excuse me, is that punch? [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: They didn't know about the snowman story, and when I told 'em, they were not impressed. Erin: What is with these turkeys? Andy: Right? [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Hey! You better do 'Faith.' You get me? HCT Member #3: We don't know it. Erin: So learn it. You all go to Cornell, you're like eight Rain men. Just learning the friggin' song. HCT Member #3: Look, I know it was big with the old guys, but-- Erin: Buts... are for pooping. Okay? Make it work. You have to or Andy will flip out... And make it a surprise, please. [to Pete] This isn't stupid. Pete: What? [SCENE_BREAK] Toby: Hey. Dwight: Hey. Nellie: Hey Toby. Toby: Are... are you me? Nellie: Yes. Toby: Oh my goodness, look. Look at this. Nellie: Yeah. I... Toby: [unintelligible mumbling] Nellie: Yes. I thought I'd you know, be you. Toby: Look at.. Look at me. [laughs] Nellie: [laughing] It's funny right? [Toby starts to lean in for a kiss, then runs away] Dwight: All right. All right, just ...stay focused on the pill. Nellie: Okay, look Dwight, let's just call this thing off. I mean, it's just an anxiety pill. Lots of people have anxiety. Dwight: You think I don't have anxiety? I have anxiety all the time. Every waking moment of my life is sheer torture. I have land disputes I've got to settle and idiot cousins to protect. And ne'er- do- well siblings to take care of. But I don't need some stupid pill to get me through all this. Meredith: Cool. Free upper. Dwight: Ah ha! Ha!!! The jig is up, psychopath! Ah yeah! Gotcha! Meredith: Don't dog catch me! Dwight: Gotcha! Yeah! Let's see ya get out of this web, huh? Meredith: Let me out! Nellie: The pill is mine. Dwight: What? Nellie: Get her out. Dwight: Oh. Meredith: Stop baggin' my head! Nellie: Oh Dwight, look, its just a pill, all right? It's for anxiety. I take it every day. And it makes me feel better. And maybe it could help you too. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Hey, how'd it go? Jim: Oh man, it was great. They were great. Pam: Did you end up investing? Jim: I did, yeah. Pam: How much? Jim: Uh, man, by the end I guess it was about... ten... Pam: About ten? Jim: Ten. It was the full ten. Pam: Wow. Jim: Yeah. Pam: Wow. Jim: Yeah. Yeah. It's a good thing we talked about it though, because we had to... Pam: No yeah. Yeah. Jim: Yeah. Pam: So did everybody ... Jim: What is it? Pam: Did everybody end up investing ten thousand? Jim: Um, oh man, I don't actually know. Pam: What? Jim: They weren't really talking that much about money. They just said, We're good with investing and then I...and I... Andy: Ladies and gentlemen, Here Comes Treble! HCT: [vocalizing] Pam: They said they were done with the investing and then you volunteered ten thousand dollars? Jim: No, no, I had to. Look, I needed to look like a team player, Pam. Pam: So you invested ten thousand dollars to look like a team player? Jim: You weren't there. HCT: [singing 'I'll Be'] Jim: It was very clear that ten thousand was what we had...we should talk about it later. HCT: [singing 'I'll Be' directly to Pam] Pam: Talk about it now. Jim: Pam. Pam: Jim, that was most of our savings. HCT: [still singing] Clark: Wait! Wait. Hold on. Where's the band? 'Cause there's just no way you guys are making this magic with just your mouths. Creed: Yeah. That's what she said. [SCENE_BREAK] Clark: What, am I overdoing it? No. No. [SCENE_BREAK] HCT: [singing] Pam: We said some. We said 'some.' Jim: We'll talk about it later. HCT: [singing] Pam: We said part not all. [SCENE_BREAK] HCT: [singing 'Car Wash'] Clark: Yes! All right! Andy: Oh Man! [clapping] Clark: That's how you do that! Whoo! HCT: Thank you. Stanley: Show some pride. This is crap. Dwight: I agree. Yes, crap. Continue. HCT Member #3: Now folks, by special request, we're going to take it a little old school. There is a former Trebler in this room. Darryl: Who? HCT Member #3: It's Mr. Andy Bernard! All: [clapping] HCT: [singing 'Faith'] Andy: No. Do not sing that. Do not... Oh man... HCT Member #3: He reminded us today of how much he means to us. And we certainly seem to mean a lot to him, so without any further ado, here's an old Treble classic. HCT: [singing 'Faith'] Broccoli Rob: [on flat screen tv] [singing lead of Faith] Andy: Whoa! Whoa! What the hell is Broccoli Rob doing here? HCT Member #3: She said you wanted to hear 'Faith'. That's Broccoli Rob's signature song. Andy: That's my signature song. HCT Member #3: I really didn't know that man. I just thought you wanted to hear it. Andy: Russell, I'm dressed like George Michael. HCT Member #3: I thought you were Adam Lambert. Andy: Wha...? [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: The more I hear about all this a capella drama, the more I think it's kind of pathetic. But when you're with someone, you put up with the stuff that makes you lose respect for them, and that is love. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Are you okay? Broccoli Rob: [on screen] He's still mad. Andy: Shut up, Broccoli. Broccoli Rob: Champ, I feel awful about this whole thing. Russell called me up. And they said they needed 20 cc's of George Michael stat. So just... Wham! I sprang into action. You know me. I assumed you wanted to hear me do your signature number. Andy: You thought I wanted to sit in the audience like some slutty Treb rat? A man's signature solo is his for life, okay? That's group policy and you know it. Broccoli Rob: Look, it's not my fault that I still live near campus, and it's my duty as an alum to be friendly to the young guys., and stop in two, three times a week. Andy: Just don't do the song anymore. Broccoli Rob: I tell you what, we'll have a sing-off for it. You pick twelve alums from any year to back you up and I'll do the same, and I'm so confident that I'll win, I won't even warm up. Andy: Fine, go ahead. Thrash your pipes. Broccoli Rob: My pipes are primo, Champ. Why don't you ask Trey Anastasio about my pipes? Andy: I knew you would go there, you son of a bitch! Broccoli Rob: He said, and I quote, 'Hey Rob, nice pipes'. That happened! Andy: OK, fine, yeah. that's one guy's opinion! Broccoli Rob: That's real. 'That'll never change! Erin: Okay! Andy: Doesn't mean you're the best singer ever. Dick. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: I thought that concert was pretty great. Kevin: Oh yeah. I decided that acapelca music is awesome. Angela: They lost me when they sang 'Monster Mash'. That song obviously glorifies the occult. Jim: Angela, it's Halloween. You have to sing 'Monster Mash'. Pam: Oh you have to Jim? You literally have to? Jim: Uh... Pam: No I'm just, I'm saying, what would happen if they didn't sing it? Would they go to jail? Would they be shot? Jim: Okay. We'll, just forget it. Pam: No! No, I'm interested. I mean I think everybody's interested in why they have to sing it. Jim: Because it is Halloween. So if you're going to sing a concert, it's a good idea to throw that one in. Pam: Yeah, yeah, no, no. It's a good idea to brush your teeth. But you have to um, feed your children. Send them to school. You know, all things you can't do if you just keep singing 'Monster Mash.' [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: It turns out, that Pam? Really, really hates 'Monster Mash.' I mean like, never bring that song up in front of her. Even though Jim was making great points, like, in favor of the song, Pam was like, No! Hate it! Stupid! [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: This is all so silly right? What am I gonna do? Move back to Cornell? Erin: [laughing] Yeah. Andy: I mean, what if we did that? Like we got jobs and we were happy all the time? Erin: Oh well, Andy, we're not moving to Cornell. Andy: Duh. I know. That would be insane. Erin: Yeah. Andy: It could totally work though. I don't know why we wouldn't. Oh my god are we doing this? Erin: Oy. Andy, what's going on? Andy: If I am not Boner Champ, I don't know who I am. Erin: Well, um, you know maybe you're the wise old guy that the new uh, B-O-N-E-R champ looks up to. You know, you could just-- Andy: Make a donation. Erin: Well, I was gonna say, be a mentor. Andy: Yes. I am gonna make a donation. And it just so happens that I know someone who works at the Bernard Family Foundation. Her name is mom. Erin: Oh. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight:[whispering] I want some of those pills. Nellie: Oh, well good for you. I mean, you'll need a prescription. Dwight: Oh, no. No, no, no. no. They're not for me. They're for my cousin Mose. He's just having a tough time, being wifeless, and a high pressure job and his crazy cousin Mose. Other cousin Mose. Nellie: Mm. Got it. Well, you tell Mose that he's a good man and that I hope he feels better. Dwight: Which one? Mose or the real Mose? Nellie: The real Mose. Dwight: He says Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: [on phone] Mom, I had this really charitable idea to set up this scholarship for a capella kids at Cornell and just need to wire some money over there. [pause] What? [HTC singing Cornell Alma Mater] Erin: What's wrong? Andy: My parents are broke.

After inviting his former college a cappella group, Here Comes Treble, to perform for the office during Halloween, Andy gets angry when he hears that his college friend Broccoli Rob ( Stephen Colbert ) is telling a different story about the group. Dwight tries to track down a madman in the office; Jim and Pam fight over his new job.

fd_The_Office_09x22-23

fd_The_Office_09x22-23_0

Erin: The tea in Nepal is very hot. Kevin: But the coffee in Peru is much hotter. [Erin buzzes him into the office] [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Last week I finally became permanent manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton. My first project: increase security. I got these doors from a jewelry store that had recently gone out of business. Now they're protecting America's real treasure, paper. Every morning I email the day's security codes. Something that's been really missing from my life has been writing secret codes. It's not the KGB, but it's a start. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: The tea in Nepal is very hot. Dwight: But the coffee in Peru is far hotter. Erin: Close. Dwight: This is Tuesday, right? The coffee in Paraguay is far hotter? Erin: Colder. Dwight: The coffee in Paraguay is colder? Erin: No, I meant you're getting colder. The correct response is, "the coffee in Peru is much hotter." Dwight: Ah, much, ok. Erin: But, that's three wrong, so I gotta give you the steam. [Dwight begins to protest] Unless you want me to break protocol? Dwight: No, no. Give me the steam. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: It's just harmless steam to panic intruders. I'd like to get harmful steam, but the prices are absurd. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [while getting steamed] Break protocol! Break protocol! Break protocol! Creed: [carrying in clothes on hangers] Oh, I'm saving a fortune on dry cleaning. [SCENE_BREAK] Philip: Mama! Oscar: Angela, someone wants you. Angela: Ok, coming. Hi, baby. [SCENE_BREAK] Oscar: Angela's divorce from the senator has been very difficult for her. When she got kicked out of her apartment, I invited her to move in with me. Ironic that it's Angela who's living in the closet. Hey-o. [SCENE_BREAK] Oscar: Saddle shoes. With denim? I will literally call child services. [SCENE_BREAK] Esther: Go get 'em, honey. Dwight: Oh, don't worry. They'll get got. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Manager of Dunder Mifflin? Check. Owner of a 1600-acre beet farm? Check. Engaged to be married to an actual milkmaid? Check... on that later today. This is my grandmother's ring. It was made from a bullet I took out of her left buttock. She was a moonshiner shot by Adolph Coors. This is my grandmother's buttock bullet ring. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Hello, good morning. My name is Andrew Bernard. You might know me from a TV documentary that's premiering tonight. I also killed it in local theater and I am fresh off of a hot industrial flick. Check-in guy: Ok, thanks. Go ahead and get in the back of the line. Andy: Yes! [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Well, burned all my bridges at Dunder Mifflin, and time to become the next American Idol. By winning America's Next A Cappella Sensation. On channel TBD. It's a really cool show, it's like a revision of the whole American Idol, Voice, Sing-Off phenomenon. On this show, all three judges are mean! [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Sales form for you to sign. Dwight: You know what to do. [waits for Jim to put form in inbox, signs it and returns it to outbox] Ok [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Behind every great regional manager is a great assistant to the regional manager, and I have chosen one of the best. Jim: Aw, thanks, man. Dwight: Once upon a time we were natural enemies, but we've overcome our differences. Much like Germany and Italy in World War- Jim: No. Dwight: Good call. Together we run a no-nonsense office. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Pre-conference room meeting with Dwight went really well. Pam: Oh, bodes well for the post-conference room meeting. Jim: All depends on the conference room meeting itself. [phone chimes] Uh, okay. Pam: Is that them again? Jim: Yeah. Pam: Maybe you should call back? Jim: I will. I will. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: The guys at Athlead are still bugging me about this three month roadshow thing. Meeting athletes on their home turf, building relationships. Yeah, it sounds exciting. But I said no, and that's final. I almost lost Pam over this business. I'm not risking that again. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: When Jim decided to come back to Scranton full-time, I was relieved, but I also feel a little guilty. I mean, he's giving up this big thing for me. But he seems happy. I mean, he's certainly been goofing around a lot. I love goofy Jim. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Welcome. Jim: He welcomes you. Dwight: Please take an agenda item. Jim: Your agenda-taking pleases him. Dwight: Have a seat, Phyllis. There we go. As you know, I like to begin each day with an inspirational quote. "Some say the only failure there is is the failure to try." [buzzer sound] That is wrong. Failure of any kind is failure. Jim, over to you. Jim: Let's not get crazy and ruin our no-nonsense streak, all right? So, for instance, if you're expecting a fax today, please don't yell out, "Michael J. Fax from Fax to the Future." Ok? That's nonsense. Pam: Question. Jim: Yes, beautiful girl in the front. Pam: We are expecting a water delivery today at 10am. What if, as they're delivering the water jugs, someone screams out, "Nice jugs"? Jim: That's obviously nonsense. Nonsense. And what percentage of nonsense do we tolerate in this office? Everyone: [overlapping] Zero. No nonsense. You can't have nonsense. Dwight: [as Angela enters with Phillip] What is going on? Angela: Daycare won't take Phillip anymore. Oscar: Why? Angela: Apparently my station in life has descended to a depth even they won't forgive. So, hi. Oscar: Hi, buddy. Dwight: Ok. Um, new agenda item. Phillip will be joining us in the office today. Jim: Gotta write that down. Ok, big day today. Airing of the documentary. Who's excited? [SCENE_BREAK] Meredith: I'd better come out of this smelling like a rose. I've been on my best behavior for nine years. If it wasn't for the cameras, I would've done some truly vulgar crap. [SCENE_BREAK] Stanley: Over the course of this documentary I've had three affairs. If you find my body in a ditch, let me save the police some trouble: my wife did it. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: I'm letting you all off half an hour early to view the documentary. So you can make it up to me by working an extra half an hour tomorrow, or a minute extra for the rest of the month. Kevin: Ooh, announcement! Some of us whose televisions got broken during an all-you-can-eat shrimp commercial will be watching tonight at Poor Richard's. But note, all are welcome, not just those whose saw an all-you-can-eat shrimp commercial and charged their televisions. [SCENE_BREAK] Oscar: I can't believe the doc is finally going to air. When this thing started, I was still having s*x with women. As was Kevin, I believe. [SCENE_BREAK] Creed: This airs tonight? Oh my god. If my parents see this, I am toast. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: This is really huge. This is like the March on Washington but for a singing show. Can you imagine if Martin Luther King were here? And sang "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Mis? With that baritone? That would be historic. Casey: Whoo-hoo! Casey Dean! Cincinnati, Ohio! [singing] Doctor, doctor, gimme the news, I got a great Casey Dean for you. Andy: No! Casey: America wants it! Andy: No, this is my time! You don't belt on my time! I belt on my time. Casey: [singing] Casey Dean! Andy: [vocalizing over her] Casey Dean! Casey: Man, those are some nice pipes. Andy: Yeah. Casey: What's your name? Andy: Andy. What's yours? [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: Why didn't you pack the apple snacks? Oscar: Why didn't you pack the apple snacks? Kevin: Guys. Angela: Because whenever I pack the bag, you say I do it wrong. Kevin: Guys. Angela: Why don't you pack it? Kevin: Guys. Angela & Oscar: Kevin, what? Kevin: Do you want to see a video of a weatherman who says "bold front" instead of "cold front"? It's insane. Angela: Not now, Kevin. Can't you see we're busy? Phillip needs his apple snacks. Oscar: Seriously, Kevin. I'm just gonna have to go to the store. Angela: Ok, you go to the store. [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: Philllip, Phillip, Phillip. It's all about Phillip. I hate Phillip. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Not now! Private time! Jim: I love Star Wars as much as the next guy- Dwight: Hey, hey! Seriously? [holds up Battlestar Galactica model box] Jim: My god, I'm so sorry. Well this might make up for it: I think I have found an enormous source of overlooked PFN. Dwight: Which is, of course... Jim: Potential future nonsense. Dwight: Yes, good abbreviating, Jim. That saved some time. Now, hurry up, shut the door. Break it down for me. Jim: I'm gonna need you to look at your hierarchy mobile. You've got a regional manager. Dwight: The power source. Jim: Obviously, the assistant to the regional manager. Dwight: A loyal, but bungling apostle. Jim: But what about the assistant assistant to the regional manager? Dwight: Someone to whisper in the ear of the consigliore. Jim: Exactly. Dwight: I'd have to get some more wire and string, but it's doable. Do you think any of them out there are capable? Jim: Yeah, right. I mean, unless they're willing to pass some tests. Dwight: I like the sound of that. Who do you have in mind? Jim: Well, I know this sounds crazy, but how would King Arthur choose the next knight of his round table? Dwight: That doesn't sound crazy, Jim. That's the sanest thing I've ever heard. [SCENE_BREAK] Casey: What're you listening to? Andy: Hmm? Um, uh, locking in my starting note. A 440. Casey: Oh, sweet. Andy: A cappella is all about pitch, and I am nothing if not a total pitch bitch. Mark McGrath: What's up, everybody? And welcome to America's Next A Cappella Singing Sensation! Casey: Ah! It's Mark McGrath! Oh my god! You're gorgeous! Mark McGrath: Thank you, thank you so much. And thank you for your patience. And we hope to see you guys within the next five to seven hours. Now, just to give you a couple parameters of the show, each of you will sing a song for thirty seconds, after which our judges will decide if they want you in their a cappella group. Now, each group will start with 90 singers, which will compete in a series of singing and physical challenges. Oh, and look out for that pesky mole! Andy: There's a mole? Mark McGrath: Oops. I'm not supposed to-I'm not supposed to say that. All right, no mole. Forget I said it, all right? Andy: What mole? What are you talking about? I already forgot about it. Mark McGrath: Good man right there. I'll see you guys inside. Good luck, all right? Andy: Yeah! Pour some Sugar Ray on me! Casey: What? On a roll much? Andy: I don't know where it came from. Casey: That was amazing, man! Andy: Yeah. Yeah, it felt good. It felt funny. Casey: Yeah, you made a personal connection with him. Andy: I did, I felt it. Casey: Big time. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: What are you so excited about? Jim: Nothing. Pam: What are you up to? [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Members of the office, hear ye. Dwight: That means ye, Plop! Pete: Plop? Still? Dwight: We owe Andy that much. Am I right people? Pete: Fine. Jim: Today we will be testing candidates for the position of assistant to the assistant to the regional manager. Erin: Aw, heck ya! Pam: Nice. Dwight: You'll always have the upper hand, when you've got a good a-arm. Trademark pending. Jim: This is not an excuse to blow off work doing carnival-like activities. Sure, every participant will be getting a corndog, but that's for fueling only. No savoring. Dwight: Wow, the honor. God, I envy them. Jim: He envies you. Dwight: You don't need to repeat right now, when I'm saying it. Jim: Alright. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: By 2:00, Dwight will chose himself to be assistant to his own assistant, me. [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: What up? Glenn: What's going on? How was the delivery? Darryl: Delivered all my furniture to Philly. Hey, keep it down, though. Nobody knows I'm here. [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: I hate goodbyes, so last week, when I left Dunder Mifflin for good, I pulled the old Irish Exit. Just slipped out without making a big deal. No hard feelings. No feelings at all. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: A good assistant knows what their superior is thinking before they even think it. Meredith, what number am I thinking of right now? Meredith: Uh, two. Jim: 985,000,000,000,017. Dwight: Not even close, Meredith. Come on! Jim: Okay, Pam. What song is running through my head right now? Pam: Theme song from Saved by the Bell. Jim: Oh, my god! It was the theme song to Boy Meets World. Dwight: Wait, no, no, no, stop. Spouses can read each other's minds. You're trying to give your wife this job. Jim: That's exactly what I was doing. Plop, what animal am I picturing? Pete: A horse. Jim: Ew, the exact opposite, actually. Pete: What's the opposite of a horse? Jim: Come on. Jim & Dwight: Sea horse. Jim: Whoa. How did you know that I was gonna- Jim & Dwight: Say that? Uncanny. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Challenge number two, protocol. Clark? Clark: Yeah. Jim: Do you want a corn dog? Clark: I would love a corn dog. Jim: We'll see. You are an assistant who's just gotten a phone message. I am in a meeting with Dwight, Robert Dunder, and his niece. Uh-oh, look who came to join us. The Turkish ambassador to Armenia, Yuri Slovak, who, by the way, is extremely embarrassed about the size of his nose. Go ahead and read that phone message. Clark: [reading] Mr. Halpert, your wife called to find out how your meeting with Yuri Big Nose went." Dwight: No, no, no, no! You don't read it aloud like that! God! Besides, the whole thing is a trick question. There's no Turkish ambassador to Armenia. The two countries don't have diplomatic relations. Jim: Uncanny. [SCENE_BREAK] Soldier: I just hope that if my buddies who are still in Afghanistan see me win, they'll feel like anything is possible. Andy: Great, more screen time for the war vet. All you gotta do is risk your life for this country and everyone goes gaga for you. Casey: Over at the porta-potties, they were interviewing a homeless, single mother with three kids. Andy: What? Casey: Yeah. Andy: Is this a show about the resiliency of the human spirit? Or is it a show about singing? Casey: I don't know. But I'm getting really worried here. Andy: Me too. Hold my place in line. Casey: Where are you going? Andy: They want feel-good stories? Wait until they get a good feel of me. [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: Thanks, man. Hank: Thank you. Darryl: Yep. Take care. Pam: Darryl, hey. Darryl: Hey. Pam: Cool, are you coming back to say hi? Darryl: No, no, I'm not here actually. These donuts are part of my escape from the guys at the warehouse I didn't say goodbye to. Pam: Aha. How's Athlead? Darryl: We livin' like rock stars. I'm about to eat free steaks with my sports heroes in 32 different cities. Pam: Wow. Darryl: Jim really doesn't want to come? Pam: He says he doesn't want to. Darryl: Wow. Man. I hope he doesn't regret it. Pam: Well, he seems really happy being back here at Dunder Mifflin. Darryl: Jim is happy here, selling paper at Dunder Mifflin? Pam: That's what he says. Darryl: If you say so. Hey, good seeing you. Remember, I was never here. All right, then. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: An assistant brings their boss coffee with speed and dexterity. But an assistant to the assistant has a thousand times more to prove, am I right? Dwight: A thousand times more. Phyllis: I'll try this one. Jim: Phyllis! Grab both these coffees, double-fist it, and head through this obstacle course. Phyllis: [grabbing the coffee] Hot! Jim: Yeah. It's real. It's the only way you'll learn. OK, and go ahead. [Phyllis carefully makes her way through the obstacle course] Oh, god, nice! She's through the green, everybody. Here comes yellow, real doozy. Careful! Dwight: [over Jim] No, no, no! Phyllis, seriously? Jim: Look at that form. Dwight: [running over and taking the coffee cups from Phyllis] Oh, god, this is pathetic! The boss needs his coffee! [races through obstacles, spilling coffee] Augh! Ah! Here you are, sir! Here's your coffee! Ah, my skin, ow, ow! It burns! Ah! Jim: Uncanny. [everyone applauds] Erin: Darryl?! Darryl! Kevin: Whoa. Darryl: Oh, hey. Hey, what's up, y'all? Erin: You left us without saying goodbye. Darryl: Oh, my bad. Goodbye, everybody. Meredith: Hey! No way! Kevin: That's totally uncool. Erin: Are you kidding? You broke our hearts. Get upstairs. Darryl: I don't think I sh- Erin: Get upstairs, mister! Meredith: Yeah! Kevin: Right. Now. Darryl: Guess I'm going upstairs. Jim: You know, Dwight, this whole search for the assistant thing-none of these people are good enough. Dwight: I know. Jim: What I'm about to say makes no logical sense, and yet, it might be the most logical thing I've ever said. Dwight: Jim, this is gonna come as no surprise but I know exactly what you are going to say. The only possible assistant to my assistant- Jim: Is- Dwight: Me. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: The new assistant to the assistant to the regional manager is Dwight K. Schrute. Dwight: Yes! [weak applause] Thank you. Jim: I think you might want to kneel for this. And yet, the manager for Dunder Mifflin kneels for no one. [Dwight awkwardly squats] That's it. You look really, really good. Dwight: Okay, from now on, anyone who needs to speak to me has got to go through me first, all right? [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Hey. Pam: Hey. Jim: You all right? What's going on? Pam: Are you happy? Jim: Yes, I'm happy. Pam: No, I know that you're, like, happy and, like, you had fun today. Jim: Yeah. Pam: And that was fun. But what about a year from now? Jim: What? Pam: What about five years from now? Jim: Pam. Pam: Because I'm so glad you're back, baby, but I'm just-I was talking to Darryl, and he was talking about the trip, and I just feel like you're giving up so much. Jim: This was my decision, not yours. Pam: Okay. Jim: You didn't force me. Pam: I kind of forced you to do it. Jim: You did not force me to do this. Pam: Yes, I did. Jim: I don't know how else to tell you. Pam: I'm afraid that you're gonna resent me and I'm afraid that- Jim: Resent you? Pam: This is not enough for you and I'm afraid that I'm not enough for you. Jim: Is that really what you think? [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Not enough? I don't know how else to explain it to her, so, you know what? I know it's against the rules but I'm gonna need a favor from you guys. Camera Crew: Okay. You got it, man. [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: I didn't realize we were this close. Phyllis: We're all a little hormonal with the doc airing. Meredith: Are you gonna come to Poor Richard's and watch with us tonight? Darryl: Uh... yeah. Depending on traffic. Stanley: He ain't coming. Erin: Oh, god! [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: These dudes are definitely in a weird mood. Picked the wrong day to return a truck. [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: Well, it's been great. Phyllis: Eleven years. A guy is in your life for 11 years and then he's gone for who knows how long. Darryl: Maybe forever. Anyhow- Oscar: Did we ever have lunch together, just-just the two of us? You know what, I'm gonna make reservations right now at Cugino's. Meredith: Question for Darryl. Did we ever get loaded and listen to Zeppelin in my van? Darryl: Oh, oh, I'm sure we did. Meredith: Nah, I call one hour van time with Darryl. Clark: Darryl, you know, I would love to just record some of your stories, just let the tape roll for six or eight or ten hours and just see what we get. Erin: Listen guys, we can do it all. We just have to divide Darryl's next 12 hours into 90-minute segments. I will go watch an eHow video on how to use Excel, and then we'll get this started. Darryl: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. Okay, I made the mistake of sneaking out of here and that's on me. But I'm not gonna spend the rest of the day here doing stuff with you cause you're feeling sentimental. Meredith: You have to! [everyone grumbling] Darryl: Hey, hey, hey. I'll do one thing with y'all. Phyllis: Which thing? Darryl: I don't care, choose amongst yourselves. Not the van though. [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: Kevin, Kevin. Kevin: Oh, you know my name. Well, that is shocking. [continues making noise] Angela: Kevin, could you not do that? Kevin: What? I'm moving the ink down in my pen, for work. Oscar: Here, use my pen. Kevin: Don't tell me what to do! Angela & Oscar: Shhh! Kevin: No, I don't need this! And you obviously don't need me. Angela: Kevin, where are you going? Kevin: Away. Tell Phillip that his stupid little baby wish came true. Oscar: He just won't go down. It's as if he's excited by all this paper. Angela: I know. Earlier today he tried to eat some of the 24-weight letter bond. Dwight: Smart baby. That's the most flavorful bond. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Hey, what's goin' on over here? Some sort of singing competition for the young'uns? Casey: You're back! Andy: No, it's me, Andy! Casey: No, I know. Andy: No, no, no. I'm wearing makeup. Casey: You did a really great job. You even look shorter. Andy: Oh, I took out my lifts. Casey: Oh. Andy: Yeah, unlike Andy Bernard, this character is my real height. Casey: Oh. [SCENE_BREAK] Esther: All day long, it's moo the cows and cluck the hens. Get the sheep baa-ed. Oink the pigs. Dwight: Oink the pigs, that is very important. [watching Phillip] Esther: Dwight, I'm telling you about all the things that ma said after the horse kicked her in the head. Where are you? Dwight? [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: The way that boy looks at the Galactica is precisely the way I look at the Galactica. And he eats the same kind of paper I do. Hmm. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [puts his grandmother's ring away] Thank you, Esther. Esther: Bye. [Dwight throws "Now" beanie at Jim's head] Jim: You threw the summoning bag at me, sir? Dwight: I need you to perform a test. Jim: Perform a test. Dwight: On an innocent baby. Jim: Ooh, I like where this is going. Unfortunately I have a lot of work today so I'm gonna have to hand this off to my number two. But, don't worry, he's the best in the biz. Dwight: Damn straight. Jim: Unless you think he can't handle it. Dwight: Hey, he can handle it. Jim: All right. [SCENE_BREAK] Oscar: [holding Phillip] Listen, listen. Shh, buddy. Stanley's sleeping. You don't want to wake up the grumpy old walrus, do you? Stanley: I heard that. Phillip: Mama. Dwight: Hey, you want me to take the little diaper blaster? Pam can attest, there's no one better at getting brats to shut their yaps. Pam: He does have a gift. Oscar: Well, he's calling for his mom, but, okay, here, here you go. Careful, he bites. Phillip: Mama. Dwight: Okay. [takes Phillip who immediately stops crying] You ever been in a manager's office before? [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Phillip, you wanna play a little game? It's called "Schrute or Consequences." You're gonna choose one of these two things. A check for a million dollars, or this dirty old beet. Yuck, pew! Which will it be? Money or the beet? Phillip: Beet. Dwight: Yeah. Any ordinary child would have taken the money, but you're no ordinary child are you? No. I can tell by your gorgeous, widely-set eyes. [SCENE_BREAK] Check-in guy: Sorry, folks, the judges are totally swamped. We are all done taking auditions. People in line: Oh come on! Hey! Andy: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what? Check-in guy: But thanks for coming out and be sure to watch America's Next A Cappella Sensa- Andy: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't do that. You can't do that, we've all been waiting. Check-in guy: Okay. Andy: I am going in there! Don't- Check-in guy: No, you're not, sir. Andy: Don't-don't- Check-in guy: Please don't. Andy: Don't touch me. Check-in guy: I'm not touching you. Okay? [Andy makes a break for it] Casey: Run, old man! Run! Run! Run for your life! Get off. Don't you dare. Don't get-I could see it. You were gonna get handsy with me. Not interested. I'm Casey Dean! You'll be seeing the last of me. Er, I meant you won't be seeing the last of me! [SCENE_BREAK] Oscar: Hey. Did you manage to feed him? I don't know what it is. He just keeps spitting out the nipple. Dwight: That is because this baby is of superior intelligence. He can tell when he's being tricked out of the experience of a real human breast. Kevin: He's not that smart. He doesn't know where I hid his duck. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: [interrupting contestant singing "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera] Hi. You're still here. Oh, thank god. Clay Aiken, Santigold, Aaron Rodgers. You're like, my three favorite people ever. Santigold: What is this? Andy: [shushing contestant] Sweetheart, you're amazing, okay? You're obviously gonna be on the show, so it's someone else's turn now. Yeah, go ahead. All right, [old man voice] my name is Ezra Cornell and I'm just a kindly old fellow with a song in my heart. Aaron Rodgers: No, you're a middle-aged man with a lot of makeup on. Andy: Busted. Yes, got it. All right. Tried to get your attention with tricks, but you just want to hear me sing, I respect that. Clay Aiken: No, we do not want to hear you sing. Santigold: Gabriella was our last audition. Thank you. Goodbye. Andy: Nope! Can't end like this. Slept in my car last night, quit my job, burned all my bridges. I went to the bathroom on my boss's car. And I did unspeakable things with Carla Fern. Aaron Rodgers: Flag on the play. Andy: That's-that's what-yeah. Okay, all right, well, here's the song. [singing] Far above Cayuga's waters, with her waves so blue, stands our noble alma mater- Santigold: What is this song? Andy: Are you insane? It's the Cornell fight song. Clay Aiken: Listen, all right, thank you very much, we're not interested. Andy: You didn't let me finish. That's not fair. Aaron Rodgers: Look, man, you're not terrible. We've heard a lot of really good singers today and you're just not good enough. Andy: Wow, you guys are really mean. I guess that's the show. Let me try a different song, okay? Aaron Rodgers: Can he do this? Andy: [singing] Hey, hobo man, hey, dapper Dan, you both got your style, but, brother, you're never fully dressed without a smile. [falters at the judges' reactions] Yeah. Your clothes may be beau brummelly- Santigold: Look, you gotta go. [Andy falls to his knees, sobbing] You can't just sit here and cry. Andy: Oh I can so just sit here and cry! [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: [addressing camera after opening envelope on his desk] Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] Oscar: Hey, Kev, how you doing, buddy? Kevin: Can't hear you. I'm giving you the silence treatment. How does it feel being ignored? Oscar: Okay, I guess, it's just that Phillip got you something. Angela: Yeah, a $25 gift card, iTunes. Oscar: I think there's, like, $7 left. Angela: It's just his way of saying, "Thanks for letting me hang out in Accounting." Kevin: Phillip got this for me? Oscar: Sure. Kevin: That was a really cool move. Angela: Would you like to hold Phillip? [hands off Phillip] Yeah. That's Kevin. Kevin: Whoa. Oscar: Easy. Kevin: What a chubbers. Whoa. Angela: Okay, watch it. Kevin: I'm losing my balance. Angela: No, Kevin, no. Oscar: Hey, no. Kevin: Whoa! Oscar: No horseplay. Angela: Stop it. Kevin: You wanna play with the cactus? Angela: No, no! [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: So, me and Phillip were just talking and we decided we're gonna be best friends. He's a little standoffish at first. But once he starts buying you things, man, you can tell he likes you. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: We have our decision. Darryl: You chose one thing? Erin: We want to dance with you. Darryl: You want to dance? Erin: One dance, all of us together. Darryl: This is what you want? Erin: Absolutely. Darryl: Better get some decent speakers up here then, cause we're gonna do this right. Erin: Yes! [Stanley, Creed, Meredith and Creed all cheer] [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: Hey. You wanted to see me? Dwight: Door. Chair. It's about Phillip. Angela: I am sorry he's here today but I had- Dwight: I believe that boy may be a Schrute. And if he is, that child needs to be accorded what is his. An enormous farm, an inheritance, and the right to be raised under rigorous Schrute traditions. You will, of course, be compensated with a marriage proposal. Angela: How thoughtful. Dwight: Then the two of you would move to my 1,600-acre estate, which, let's face it, is a big step up from living in a gay man's closet. Angela: If he is your son, that's a great plan. But he's not. He's not your son. Dwight: Very well. Angela: Can I go back to my desk now? Dwight: Yes. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: What is this? Jim: Well I've been trying to tell you how I feel, and you wouldn't believe me, so [shows her DVD] I needed a little help. Dwight: Jim! I need my assistant to the regional manager. Code red. Jim: OK, I don't have my pocket code chart on me, right now, so. Dwight: [throws "now" beanbag at Jim] Now. Jim: I have an assistant now, who can help you with whatever you need. He is lazy, so crack the whip. Dwight: Jim. I'm not kidding. I need you. Pam: Go ahead. Jim: Ok, um, this is... [leaves DVD with her]-I'll be right back. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: What do we got? Dwight: I was thinking of proposing to Esther today. Jim: Wow! Congratulations, that's a really big step. Dwight: She's got a ton of great qualities. She's young, she's beautiful, genes so pure you could lick them. Her family admires me, my family tolerates hers. A lot of them are the same people because we're third cousins, which is great for bloodlines and isn't technically incest. Jim: Right in the sweet spot. I think you're gonna be really happy. Dwight: Plus her dowry contains a walk-in freezer full of frozen, premium cattle sperm. Jim: [whistles] That's a lot of pros. Dwight: And did I mention that she weaves? Colorful, durable blankets and rugs! It all adds up. Jim: So what is the problem? Dwight: Angela. [SCENE_BREAK] [Pam hesitates but puts the DVD into the laptop to watch] [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: I don't know what you want me to tell you, man. All I know is that every time I've been faced with a tough decision, there's only one thing that outweighs every other concern. One thing that will make you give up on everything you thought you knew, every instinct, every rational calculation. Dwight: Some sort of virus? Jim: Love. Dwight: Oh. [SCENE_BREAK] [Pam starts the video; title screen reads "Beesly-You think I'll have regrets. I asked the doc crew to help me show you why I won't..."; highlights of Pam and Jim from the documentary play over Snow Patrol's "Open Your Eyes"] [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Dwight, listen: no matter what happens, you gotta forget about all the other stuff. You gotta forget about logic and fear and doubt. You just gotta do everything you can to get to the one woman who's gonna make all this worth it. At the end of the day, you gotta jump. You love Angela, Dwight. I think you always have. Dwight: You're a good assistant, Jim. Jim: Not as good as you. Dwight: That's very true. Get the hell outta here. Jim: You got it. [SCENE_BREAK] [video shows teapot clip from "Christmas Party"; Pam notices the card that Jim took back] Jim: You watched it. Pam: Yeah. Jim: Well, then I guess you're ready for this. [gives her the Christmas card] Pam: What's that? Jim: It's from the teapot. Everything you'll ever need to know is in that note. [Pam reads the card] Not enough for me? You are everything. Pam: Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Ok, everybody ready? Phyllis: Hit it, red! ["Boogie Wonderland" by Earth Wind & Fire plays as Darryl dances with each member of the office] [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: I wanted to leave quietly. It seemed dignified. But having Kevin grind up on my front while Erin pretends to hump me from behind is a more accurate tribute to my years here. I'm gonna miss these guys. [SCENE_BREAK] Oscar: Ok, I've got my- Meredith: See you guys at Poor Richard's, all right? Oscar: All right, Meredith. Angela: Okay, bye. Oscar: See you there. Kevin: Bye, Phillip. High five. Oscar: Yay! I am gonna drop Phillip off at my mother's, and I'll meet you at Poor Richard's in an hour. Angela: Are you sure you don't want me to drop him off? Oscar: She doesn't know I'm living with a straight woman. I don't want to get her hopes up. Angela: All right. Bye, buddy. Bye, bye, bye! Oscar: Oh, my goodness. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [in bullhorn] Pull over! Angela: Dwight? Dwight: Move to the side of the road! Angela: Why? Dwight: Pull over! Angela: What do you-Dwight! [Dwight cuts her off in his car, they pull over] [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: [getting out of her car] Dwight! What the [bleep] is your problem! Dwight: [on bullhorn still] Shut up, woman! Angela: Who drives like that? Dwight: Listen to me! I love you! And I don't care that Phillip's not my son. I will raise 100 children with 100 of your lovers if it means that I can be with you! Angela: Can you put that down? Dwight: This expresses how loudly I love you. Angela: It's too loud. Dwight: [puts down bullhorn and kneels] This is a ring, taken from the buttocks of my grandmother, put there by the gangster patriarch of the Coors dynasty, melted in a foundry run by Mennonites. Angela: Okay, yes-yes, I will! [they kiss] I love you! Dwight: I love you! Angela: And I lied to you. Dwight: What? Angela: Phillip's your son. Dwight: What? Why would you say that- Angela: I just needed you to want to marry me because you wanted to marry me. Dwight: [excited] Get out! I'm a dad! Angela: You're a dad! [SCENE_BREAK] Creed: Hey, grab a seat. We have that table and that table, but not that table or that table or that table. Floor's up for grabs. Meredith has been hogging the can. [Dwight kisses Creed's head] Oh! Erin: You have to change the channel to PBS. Kevin: Yeah. Bartender: College baseball is on. Erin: But there's a documentary coming up. Everyone in the bar will love it. Bartender: What's it about? Erin: A paper company. Bartender: How many people want the game? [half the bar cheers] Who wants PBS? [other half cheers] Sorry. Tie means I do nothing. Kevin: Sir, please. This show is about me and my attempts to find love in all the wrong places. Andy: One more for the doc. [the office staff cheers] Bartender: All right. Kevin: Yes! Clark: Hey, how was the singing show audition? Andy: Oh. Eh, whatever. No big deal. Creed: Ok, thirty seconds to showtime! Kevin: I feel scared a little. Phyllis: Yeah, I'm not ready for this. Stanley: No one is ready for this. You can't be ready for this. We don't even know what this is. Oscar: One thing we do know, nothing will ever be the same. Jim: Here we go. [documentary starts with the first scene of "Pilot"]

Jim convinces Dwight that he needs to choose someone to act as an Assistant to the Assistant to the Regional Manager; the two subsequently hold tryouts for the position. After her daycare turns away her child, Angela is forced to bring her kid to work. Andy auditions for "The Next Great A Cappella Sensation". This episode guest stars Aaron Rodgers , Clay Aiken , Mark McGrath , Santigold , and Jessica St. Clair .

fd_CSI__Crime_Scene_Investigation_07x12

fd_CSI__Crime_Scene_Investigation_07x12_0

FLASH IN: CUE SONG: "Sweet Jane" by The Velvet Underground TIME LAPSE SEQUENCE: [EXT. (OLD) LAS VEGAS STRIP (STOCK) - NIGHT] (We're traveling along the old Las Vegas Strip.) [EXT. BUS STATION - NIGHT] (People carrying their suitcases cross the street in front of the bus station.) [TIME LAPSE] (FAST FORWARD: Night turns to day. The days pass. Seasons come and go. The weather changes. Tall buildings in the city are built.) [INT. BUS STATION (1970'S) - LOBBY - NIGHT] (FAST FORWARD to 1975: People come and go through the lobby.) (SLOW ON: A young blonde-haired woman carrying a suitcase arrives. She walks past a Liberace poster.) [TIME LAPSE] (FAST FOWARD TO 1989: More time passes. People come and go through the bus station.) (SLOW ON: A young woman with crimped hair arrives. She walks past a MIRAGE poster for their GRAND OPENING, FALL 1989.) [SCENE_BREAK] AS MORE TIME PASSES, FLASHES OF VARIOUS POSTERS WITH PEOPLE CONSTANTLY COMING AND GOING * EXCALIBUR, JUNE 1990 * LUXOR, GRANS OPENING, FALL 1993 * NEW YORK NEW YORK, OPENING JANUARY 1997 * MANDALAY BAY, LAS VEGAS, OPENING 1999 [EXT. BUS STATION - NIGHT] (FAST FOWARD ON: People are coming and going.) (SLOW ON: A blonde-haired young woman arrives with her suitcase in her hand. She looks around. A large billboard looms in the distance - MANDALAY BAY, LAS VEGAS, NOW OPEN.) (She walks out of screen and heads down the sidewalk, pulling her suitcase behind her.) (Sirens sound in the distance.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. BACK LOT - NIGHT (PRESENT)] (Catherine carries her kit and heads over toward Brass, who stands near the body. Officer car lights flash. The area is taped off.) (She stops next to Brass.) Brass: A trucker driving by saw the body, called it in. Catherine: Easy to miss. Brass: The coroner's tied up on a multiple in Pahrump, but they're en route. (Catherine notes that the ground surrounding the body has been brushed neatly. The only pair of shoes is the officer's prints leading up to the body.) Brass: Officer Jensen was first responding. When he saw the condition of the body, he backed out of the scene, stepping in his own footprints. Anyway, we've been beating the bush looking for her personal effects, but so far nothing. Catherine: (nods) Jane Doe it is. (Catherine ducks under the tape and heads toward the body, careful to step in the shoe prints already on the ground.) (The blonde-haired woman is naked, her right hand raised over her shoulder, palm facing up. Catherine looks around, then puts her kit down.) (The ground has been brushed, the dry leaves left near the body.) (Quick flashback to: SOMEONE brushes the ground, obscuring their shoeprints and any other markings. End of flashback.) (Catherine snaps photos of the body.) (A second CSI, carrying his kit, arrives on the scene.) (Catherine stops and sees Michael "Mike" Keppler arrive. He's carrying a cup of coffee. He stops outside the tape and empties the liquid on the ground. He crushes the cup and tucks it into his jacket pocket.) Catherine: You must be Keppler. Mike Keppler: Willows? Catherine: Catherine. Mike Keppler: Sorry I'm late. Got stuck on the Strip. (He takes out his flashlight, ducks under the tape and heads for the scene, careful to step in the shoeprints already there.) (He kneels down next to the body.) Catherine: Welcome to Las Vegas. (He smiles at Catherine, turns and looks at the body. The girl's eyes are open, a lock of hair over her face. Keppler gently brushes the hair aside.) Catherine: Is that how they're doing things in Baltimore these days? Out here, we don't touch the body until the coroner releases it. Mike Keppler: Sorry. Just ... trying to get a better look at her face. Catherine: There's bruising around the neck, relatively fresh. No other obvious wounds on the body. This girl's barely out of high school. Mike Keppler: Catnip. Catherine: Excuse me? Mike Keppler: The way they attract men at that age; it's like catnip. Catherine: That's a terrifying thought. Mike Keppler: You have kids? Catherine: A daughter, fifteen. Mike Keppler: You must be a hit on career day. Catherine: I try not to bring my work home with me. Mike Keppler: Yeah. Catherine: How about you? Mike Keppler: What? Catherine: Any kids? Mike Keppler: (shakes his head) No. Patchy discolorations on the skin. Looks like dehydration. (Catherine gets a tweezers from her kit and picks up a fiber off the body.) Catherine: White fibers. Mike Keppler: I'm guessing cotton. (Keppler notices the dried liquid on the body's arm.) Mike Keppler: Looks like she's been swabbed down with something that evaporated, maybe alcohol. (Quick flashback to: Someone swabs the victim's arm. End of flashback. Catherine: Unlike most men, this one knows how to clean up after himself. FADE TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. BACK LOT -- DAY] (Officer and crime scene units are there at the scene to process the lot. Catherine stands nearby as David goes over the body. Warrick turns and notes Keppler taking dirt samples of the area.) Warrick: So how long is this fellow Keppler supposed to be with us? Catherine: Well, he was hired to staff the new day shift, but ... since we're one shy with Grissom away, Ecklie wanted us to break him in for a few weeks. (David Phillips examines the body's hand.) David Phillips: Got a broken fingernail. Warrick: Please tell me she got a piece of her attacker. (Warrick snaps photos of the victim's nails.) Catherine: If the nail had been torn off, the break would be smooth. It's jagged; she's a biter. (Just out of the taped area, news cameras are there reporting the death. The coroners set up the gurney near the body.) (In another area, Brass shows the deputy a photo and instructs her. They are near where Keppler is working. He overhears the conversation.) Brass: So flash this photo around the Alphabets. If she's a pro or a local, somebody will recognize her. Deputy: Sure. (The deputy leaves with the photo.) Mike Keppler: Alphabets? Brass: Yeah, it's a neighborhood. You know, A Street, B Street, D Street. Mike Keppler: Mm. Brass: A through F is pretty bad -- homeless, junkies, scumbags, the hookers we chase off the Strip. I mean, if you're down and out in Vegas, sooner or later, you're gonna end up here. Mike Keppler: Hear you got one of the fastest growing murder rates in the country. Brass: Yeah, we're very competitive. Is that a Philly accent I hear? Mike Keppler: Trenton, born and bred. Brass: My condolences. I'm from Newark. (They shake hands.) Mike Keppler: How you doing? Brass: How are you? Mike Keppler: Thought I heard something familiar. Brass: (loudly) But you got to love Vegas, isn't that right, Catherine? (Catherine joins them.) Catherine: My hometown. Brass: I mean, the pizza's terrible, but everything else is paradise. (Keppler stands up. Brass steps away. Catherine and Keppler head out.) Catherine: So I see you've got the soil and vegetation exemplars. (The officer holds the tape up for them.) Catherine: (to the officer) Thank you. Mike Keppler: Three distinct locations. Not that it's gonna make much difference. I get the feeling our guy's not the type to track away dirt on his shoes. Catherine: Probably not. Our best bet's the body. Which we're probably not gonna get much from, either. Mike Keppler: So is the pizza really that bad? Catherine: I like it. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. CSI - KEPPLER'S OFFICE -- DAY] (The door opens and Keppler enters his office. He flicks on the lights. He unbuttons his suit jacket and loosens his tie. He checks the messages on his desk. They are: MESSAGE 1: FOR: M. KEPPLER DATE: 1-18-07 11:00 AM FRANK PHONE: 609-910-3200 MESSAGE 2: FOR: M. KEPPLER DATE: 1-18-07 12:10 PM FRANK PHONE: 609-910-3200 VERY URGENT MESSAGE 3: FOR: M. KEPPLER DATE: 1-18-07 1:00 PM FRANK PHONE: 609-910-3200 (Keppler looks at his messages.) [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- DAY] (Catherine washes the body. Keppler walks in.) Mike Keppler: No obvious traces of semen? Catherine: No. Mike Keppler: No visible skin under the fingernails, so she probably didn't fight back. Catherine: There were no defensive wounds on her forearms, no ligature marks on her wrists or ankles. Mike Keppler: Maybe he didn't want to mark her up. I mean, look at her. So young. (Quick flash of: The victim as she was alive.) Mike Keppler: (V.O.) Innocent. He wanted to take his time. (End of flash.) Mike Keppler: He drugged her. We should expand tox to include volatiles and sedative hypnotics. You got something? (Catherine examines the victim's hair.) Catherine: Highlights and lowlights. That's a hair process that isn't cheap. Nominal hair growth is roughly half-a-millimeter a day. (She measures the hair.) And based on the length of her roots, it's been about two months since she's had it done. Mike Keppler: Not the kind of girl who goes missing without a report. VARIOUS CUTS OF: (The victim's prints are scanned into the computer and run through the database.) (A camera snaps photos of the victim - the color of her eyes and an iguana tattoo on her ankle.) (Information is fed into the U.S. DIRECTORY OF MISSING ADULTS, IMPERILED MISSING ADULTS database: EYE COLOR: BLUE IDENTIFYING MARKS: IGUANA HAIR COLOR: BLONDE (The computer searches the database for a print match.) (A POSITIVE MATCH is found.) NAME: VERONICA SORENSEN RACE: CAUCASIAN AGE: 17 EYE COLOR: BLUE HAIR COLOR: BLONDE HEIGHT: 5'4" WEIGHT: 125 LBS IDENTIFYING MARKS: IGUANA TATTOO ON LEFT ANKLE [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- DAY] (Greg shares his findings with Catherine.) Greg: Your vic's name is Veronica Sorensen, age 17. Last reported in Victorville. Catherine: About two months ago? Greg: Yeah, yeah. She's a ... Catherine: Runaway? Greg: Yeah. Parents reported her missing. PD's already made the notifications. So, what's the verdict on this Keppler guy? What? You're usually pretty quick to size people up. Catherine: Jury's still out, but he knows what he's doing. (They stop just outside the breakroom to listen to the news report on the television set.) Reporter (on TV): In other news, local Las Vegas police officers are still trying to identify the body of a nude woman found late yesterday evening just off Highway 51 -- [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - WAITING ROOM - DAY] (At the same time, Sofia watches as Mr. and Mrs. Sorensen watch the news report in the waiting room.) Reporter: (on tv) -- in an area commonly referred as 'Alphabet' Street. It's a well-known hangout for drug users and prostitutes. However, the police believe that this time -- Sofia: I'm Detective Curtis. (Mr. Sorensen turns around.) I'm ... so sorry for your loss. (Mrs. Sorensen shakes her head.) Mrs. Sorensen: That girl on the TV, that is not my Veronica. Mr. Sorensen: They wouldn't call us if they weren't sure. Sofia: We were able to match her fingerprints. Mrs. Sorensen: Then you've made a mistake. Mr. Sorensen: The prints that we gave to the police, they were from a school safe kit. She was ten years old. They could've changed, right? Sofia: Fingerprints don't change. There was a tattoo on her right ankle -- an iguana. Mrs. Sorensen: (cries) Oh, no. Mr. Sorensen: We just want to take her home. Sofia: Of course. As soon as we've completed the autopsy. Mr. Sorensen: No. No, you're not gonna cut her open. Sofia: Sir, this is a homicide. Mr. Sorensen: We're not giving our permission. (The Sorensens hug. On the monitor, Mrs. Sorensen watches as they cover her daughter.) Sofia: I'm afraid you don't have a choice. But I promise you, we'll treat her with the utmost respect. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- DAY] (Robbins whistles as he examines the victim's teeth. The door opens and Sofia walks in.) Robbins: And what can I do for you? Sofia: Let me know when you release the body. Robbins: It's going to be a while. I haven't even opened her up yet. Sofia: Well, just let me know. (Robbins turns the camera on and snaps a photo. He whistles as he works.) Sofia: And stop whistling. [SCENE_BREAK] (Quick flash to: Someone strangles the victim.) Robbins: (V.O.) COD was asphyxiation due to strangulation, but it wasn't quick. The overlapping patterns of fours and ones suggest multiple events. (End of flash.) [INT. CSI - LAYOUT ROOM - DAY] (Robbins goes over his findings with Catherine and Keppler. On the layout table are the photos of the bruises on the victim.) Robbins: I imaged subcutaneous bruises under UV from several positions around the throat. Killer choked and released at least three times. That's consistent with sexual asphyxiation. SAE is about what you'd expect. Vaginal trauma, no semen, but traces of spermicide. Guy used a condom. Mike Keppler: What about tox? Robbins: Well, blood was positive for MDMA. Mike Keppler: Ecstasy. That's it? Robbins: Yep. Catherine: I can't believe that she was compliant. Thanks, Doc. Robbins: You got it. (Robbins leaves. Keppler looks at the photos.) Mike Keppler: You ever see a cat playing with a mouse? Point isn't to kill the mouse, just keep the game going. Catherine: I'm guessing you've got cats. Mike Keppler: No. I just like the metaphor. (They share a smile.) Mike Keppler: Same game every time. Cat goes home, leaves its kill on the doorstep. Catherine: Our guy's done this before. I'm with you there. Mike Keppler: What got our cat's attention this time? Around puberty, most guys fixate on a particular body type that turns them on. Tall, skinny, short, red hair. Whatever floats your boat. It's imprinted. Hard to let go of. Catherine: Okay. So we know what his type is and we know what he likes to do with them. [SCENE_BREAK] [COMPUTER SCREEN] (In the UNSOLVED HOMICIDES DATABASE, under VICTIMS, a search is entered. AGE: 16-21 RACE: CAUCASIAN s*x: FEMALE EYES: BLUE HAIR: BLONDE (The computer beeps. SEARCH RESULTS: 3 CASES FOUND.) JANE DOE # 99-3218 JANE DOE # 89-5829 JANE DOE # 75-218 [INT. CSI - A/V LAB -- DAY] (Catherine and Keppler sit in front of the monitor.) Catherine: Okay, we've got three that fit the type. The cases were years apart. 1999, 1989 ... and 1975. (The case #'s are: CASE #: LVPD 99 10 17-3218 PB JANE DOE # 99-3218 CASE #: LVPD 89 09 12-5829 JANE DOE # 89-5829 CASE #: LVPD 02 07 1975-218 JANE DOE # 75-218 ) Mike Keppler: Let's bring up their photographs. (Catherine puts the three victims' photos up on the monitor. They're all posed in the same position, their right hand up near their head, palm up.) Mike Keppler: Look at the similarity in the body positions. They look posed, almost as if they were ... waving good-bye. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAYOUT ROOM -- DAY] INSERT: SEQUENCE (Catherine, Sara, Nick and Keppler put the photos out on the table. They each open a file folder.) END SEQUENCE Sara: Jane Doe '99 was discovered naked in a stretch of dirt off Paradise behind the old Hotel Continental. Based on the photos, her hair was matted with dirt, which suggests that it was wet when she was dumped. It's likely that her body was washed. Catherine: That's consistent with the latest victim. Mike Keppler: Any traces of alcohol or cotton swabs? Sara: There's nothing indicated, but there's almost nothing in this file. Based on TOD, the body was found less than four hours after death. Yet other than a general canvass, not a single person was interviewed. The homicide detective's summary is less than a page. Nick: Sounds like shoddy police work. Mike Keppler: Sounds like no police work. Sara: After the autopsy, COD confirmed asphyxiation by strangulation. There was absolutely no follow-up whatsoever. Nick: Well, there was a follow-up in spades on Jane Doe '89. She was found in a vacant lot off 28th Street near Boulder Highway. Uh, stripped of her clothing. Like the others, several peri-mortem bruises, but check out this hair. Catherine: Yeah, it's crimped. I remember those days. There's no way that style survives a shower. Nick: Killer didn't wash that one down. Mike Keppler: Methods evolve. Practice makes perfect. Nick: Again, the cops didn't come up with a single suspect. There were detailed sketches of the crime scene, microscopy on errant hairs and fibers, even ran the vic's prints through WIN. Sara: '89 ... that database was barely on the Internet. Nick: The guy that worked on this case was very thorough. He just didn't close it. Catherine: Okay, Jane Doe '75. Mike Keppler: Well ... she was found in an alley off of Bridger near Fremont Street. Based on the level of decomp, she'd been lying there about two days before they found her. Only thing about this one is, she had her clothes on. Might have been his first. Nick: Or maybe the first one found. Mike Keppler: Isolated contusions on her neck, arms and shoulders. COD listed as heroin overdose. Nick: Junkies do bruise easily. Sara: And the "waving good-bye" hand position is a natural way to fall. It's possible that this one is a coincidence. Mike Keppler: It's not. Catherine: How do you know? Mike Keppler: Because I do. This guy pays attention to the details. Knows what he likes; he doesn't mix it up. Thing that gets me is the discipline, though. He's got a habit, but he seems to be able to control it. Only needs to kill once every ten years or so, and when he does, he's got a type. Nick: Pretty but not pricey. Mike Keppler: And not likely to be missed. Catherine: You're a CSI, not a profiler. Mike Keppler: What's the difference? Catherine: Evidence. I want leads and IDs. Follow up on what you've got. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY / WAITING ROOM -- NIGHT] (Sara leads Detective Paul Browning to a free table.) Paul Browning: When I left this place, it was all grey walls and cinder blocks. Very fancy. Sara: What made you transfer to Henderson? Paul Browning: Cost of living, better commute. I socked away a few bucks, bought a nice place in Green Valley. Sara: Ah, I take it you're a shortcuts kind of guy. (They sit down.) Paul Browning: I guess you could say that. I like to get to the heart of things right away. Sara: Any reason that you didn't get to the heart of this? (Sara shows Paul Browning photos of Jane Doe '99.) Paul Browning: Whoa. October 17, 1999. Sara: You remember the date? Paul Browning: Yeah. Sara: Why is that? Paul Browning: Hey, I'm not sure I like your tone. Sara: Answer the question, Detective. Paul Browning: It's my son's birthday. Day I caught the case, my wife went into labor. It was rough. There were complications. Anyway, I was out for weeks taking care of her. Used up all my vacation time. When I got back, there were a half-dozen cases on my desk. My captain told me to let it go. Look. We canvassed the neighborhood. No name. She was homeless, hooking for drug money. Sara: You do not know that. You didn't even ask for tox. Paul Browning: We didn't need to do a test. We found her at Paradise and Flamingo. What else would she be doing there? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - COLD STORAGE] (The door opens. Sara and David walk in. David carries a clipboard and passes shelves and shelves of plastic containers with contents inside. He stops and picks one up.) David Phillips: Okay, here we are. Autopsy samples for Doe, Jane. 99-103. (The label reads: DOE, JANE CONTENTS: LIVER ID: 48120071 DATE FILED: 10/17/1999 Female: [X] Sara: Uh, most recent vic had traces of E in her system. If this one does, too, there might be a connection. David Phillips: To a drug dealer from ten years ago? That's kind of weak. Sara: Weak is the best that we have right now. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - TRACE LAB -- DAY] (Hodges processes the contents in the container.) Sara: (V.O.) Hodges ran the formalin-fixed tissue sample from Jane Doe '99 through GCMS. There's no traces of Ecstasy, but he did find chloral hydrate. [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- DAY] (Sara and Catherine walk through the hallway as Sara reports her findings.) Sara: Chloral hydrate is a hypnotic sedative. There were no traces of anything like that found in Veronica Sorensen. Catherine: Which means if our guy still sedates his victims before sexually asphyxiating them, whatever he's using now isn't leaving a trace. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM -- DAY] (Keppler marks the victims locations on a map. Warrick walks in.) Warrick: Warrick Brown. (They shake hands.) Mike Keppler: Mike Keppler. Warrick: I know ... You trying to do a geographic profile of your serial? Mike Keppler: Yeah, most of these guys tend to operate out of one place. In theory, as the killer gets more and more comfortable with each act, the locations of the bodies should spiral outward from one central point. Warrick: I tell you one thing that your dumpsites do have in common. Mike Keppler: What's that? Warrick: When the bodies were found, the location that they were found in at the time had the highest crime rate in the city. (That's new to Keppler. He closes the file folder he's looking through and looks at the map.) Mike Keppler: Smart. The crime center sure seems to move around pretty quickly here, huh? Warrick: Well, in Vegas, new is old in five years, old is history in ten, and nothing ever seems to leave a mark. Mike Keppler: Sounds refreshing. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. CAR (PARKED) -- DAY] (Nick shows the case file to Jake Daniels. They sit in the car as Jake works on surveillance.) Nick: '89 Jane Doe, this was your case. Jake Daniels: One of the first homicides I ever worked. Damn, I had good handwriting. Excuse me. (Jake pauses and uses a camera to monitor the man walking the corridor.) Jake Daniels: Come on, come on, I know you got company. (As he watches, a woman steps out from the room wearing a dressing gown. Jake Daniels: Yeah, that's it. Oh, man. Nick: You processed a mountain of evidence but didn't turn up a single suspect. Jake Daniels: It's not my fault, man. I had the scumbag dead to rights. Nick: What are you talking about? There's nothing here to indicate that you ... (He shows the hair analysis report to Nick.) Jake Daniels: This is it. That's the killer's hair. Nick: You did note morphology consistent with the vic. Jake Daniels: Yeah, but the position-location was all wrong. I pulled that out of her navel, just that one hair. It was a sexual assault, It had to be from the killer. But I couldn't prove it, so... I didn't write it down. Nick: This hair had a tag. Did you run DNA? Jake Daniels: (chuckling) In '89? Man, we were just reading about DNA. The only lab in the country that was doing that stuff was the FBI, and my supervisor -- he wouldn't have called them in on a case like this. (He snaps a photo of the woman carrying a suitcase and running down the corridor. He snaps a photo of the man headed toward his car.) Jake Daniels: I used to bust my ass to keep a crime scene pristine, and then some uniform would wobble over, stuffing his face, drop a hamburger wrapper right at my feet. Who the hell needs that? (He snaps a photo of the woman in her dressing gown. He puts his camera down.) Jake Daniels: (wistfully) Man, if I had the tools you guys do today ... I finally would have been a real hero. (The man gets out of the car and kisses the woman. Nick nods toward the couple.) Nick: There's your money shot. (Jake puts his camera up to get the photo, but the man is already back in his car.) Jake Daniels: Damn it. Nick: Did you preserve the hair? Jake Daniels: Permount on a microscope slide with a cover slip. It should still be in Central Property. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. WAREHOUSE STORAGE - DAY] (The lights switch on and we see long rows of large boxes stacked one on top the other. The floor looks damp.) Clerk: Are you sure it's really here? As I said when you called, we have no record. Nick: Sir, I spent half the day at Central Property going through their records. Now, according to the case logs, it was transferred to this court in late 1989 and never returned. So, it's got to be here somewhere, okay? Clerk: Okay. (The clerk finds the box on the bottom of a stack.) Clerk: So it is. Nick: Excuse me, bro. (Nick gets to the box and opens it. There are baby rats inside the box. The paper is shredded. This doesn't look good.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Nick has the box and is wearing a mask as he takes handfuls of shredded material and puts them in the glass tank with the vent on. The dust is sucked up the vent as he sifts through the shredded material looking for anything salvageable.) (Nick puts his mask aside and sifts through the material. He find an envelope and opens it. The glass slide inside is cracked.) Hodges: (o.s.) You rang? (Hodges walks into the lab.) Nick: Yeah, I think I need a hand here, Hodges. Hodges: Well, what is this? Nick: It's from an '89 Jane Doe. I'm looking for anything that will help us out. Hodges: Those look like rat droppings. Nick: That's because they are rat droppings, man. Hodges: Are you familiar with the hantavirus? Carried by rodents, transmitted to humans when they inhale vapors from contaminated urine, saliva or feces. That crap will kill you. Nick: (interrupts) Hodges ... glove up. (Hodges sticks his gloved hands in the mess.) Hodges: If I start leaking blood from my eyeballs, I'm blaming you. (Together, they sift through the shredded material. Nick picks up an old film negative and looks through it.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAKROOM -- DAY] (Keppler is sitting in the breakroom, the various crime scene photos spread out on the table in front of him. He has the television set turned on softly for background sound.) (Robbins walks in carrying a file folder.) Robbins: Keppler? (Keppler stands up.) Robbins: Didn't they give you an office? Mike Keppler: I, uh ... I like the noise. It helps me to concentrate. Robbins: I prefer things quiet myself. Of course, I am a pathologist. (Keppler turns the television set off.) Robbins: I reviewed that Jane Doe autopsy from '75. Mike Keppler: That was fast. (Robbins and Keppler sit down.) Robbins: Well, I'm sure the original examination was, too. ME was a hack named Sam Barnard. He, uh, retired a little while after I started. Once saw him do a Y with a scalpel in one hand and a hot dog in the other. Mike Keppler: I take it he wasn't known for his, uh, rigorous analysis? Robbins: He was known for liking hot dogs. Mike Keppler: (chuckles) Well, that's just great. Robbins: You know, if you really want to figure out what killed your Jane Doe, there's pretty much only one thing we can do. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LV CITY CEMETERY -- DAY] (There is a small crowd having a service around the coffin just before burial. The grass is green; it's sunny and it looks like a typical cemetery.) (We pull back and on the other side of the trees, there is an empty lot. A large bulldozer starts digging as Brass, Catherine, Keppler and Robbins watch.) (The ground is marked only with a small plate of numbers on a wooden stick, which indicate which coffins are buried. They're grouped in threes.) (Camera moves over the row of number plates: DOE, JOHN / 56-381 DOE, JANE / 52-492 DOE, JOHN / 50-021 DOE, JANE / 92-560 DOE JOHN / 89-013 DOE, JANE / 75-212 DOE, JOHN / 95-134 DOE, JOHN / 94-012 DOE JOHN / 88-45 DOE, JANE / 99-063 DOE, JOHN / 92-213 DOE, JOHN / 86-034 DOE, JANE / 99-103 DOE, JANE / 89-074 DOE, JANE / --- (CUT TO: The group of three crates are lifted out of the hole. They're stacked one on top of the other and are labeled on the side of the crates with large black lettering: DOE, JANE (The bottom crate is old and the most damaged. It's labeled with a metal plate screwed into the sisdeboard. The metal plate is old and dirty. The technician cleans the plate and they see that it's: DOE, JANE (Catherine points and nods.) Catherine: That one's it. (Keppler watches.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - DAY] (Using a crowbar, David Phillips and another coroner pry the crate open. Inside is a set of bones. They pick the skeletal remains up and put them on the examining table.) (David hangs a tag around the remains' toe.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- DAY] (Robbins goes over the remains with Catherine and Keppler. He points to the skull.) Robbins: See the sutured cut across the top of her head and the Y-incision? Catherine: No. Robbins: It's because they're not there. Catherine: So the original ME didn't even do an autopsy? Robbins: What can I say? He was a lazy b*st*rd. Mike Keppler: That's criminal malfeasance. Robbins: Well, if you want to tell him, I can dig him up, too. Mike Keppler: Ah, right. So what do you got? Robbins: Check out the hyoid bone. Mike Keppler: It's fractured. Robbins: Yeah, it doesn't take much force to do it, so it's possible there were no external marks. But our girl was strangled. Catherine: So she is one of ours. Mike Keppler: Gum line filling. Silver amalgam. Catherine: On the outside of the tooth? Mike Keppler: That's a cheap way to do it. Old school. Nowadays, most dentists use epoxy and other components to make it match the enamel. I worked a mass fatality fire in Philly. Learned a lot about teeth. Robbins: Well, Veronica Sorensen had a similar filling in her mouth. Catherine: Jane Doe '99 had traces of chloral hydrate in her system. I read that dentists used to use it to sedate pediatric patients. Mike Keppler: Looks like our guy might be a dentist. [SCENE_BREAK] [MONITOR] (A search is entered in the AMERICAN NATIONAL DENTAL COUNCIL database for CLARK COUNTY, NV. Keppler hits enter.) (He types in a SEARCH REQUEST: TYPE: DENTAL OFFICES KEY WORDS: DOING BUSINES SINCE 1975 5 RESULTS FOUND ARCHOFF DENTISTRY GROUP 8973 DUNELY DRIVE LAS VEGAS, NV 89109 LINDALES VALLEY DENTAL 6783 SORIANO ROAD LAS VEGAS, NV 89109 VEGAS CITY DENTAL GROUP 2030 GELSON STREET LAS VEGAS, NV 89110 COLEBERT DENTAL CENTER 9786 CHARLOTTE STREET LAS VEGAS, NV 89110 BEACHOFF DENTAL OFFICE 248 BOLSTON ROAD LAS VEGAS, NV 89109 ) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LV CITY CEMETERY - DAY] CU: NAME PLATE DOE, JANE (Another old coffin is raised from the ground. The technician wipes the metal plate to reveal: DOE, JANE [INT. CSI - HALLWAY TO FORENSIC AUTOPSY - DAY] (A coroner pushes a crate through the hallway. A CLOSE-UP of the lettering on the side of the box shows: DOE, JANE [SCENE_BREAK] (CU: A toe tag on skeletal remains.) (CU: Dental work.) (Robbins turns from looking at the teeth of one remains to the teeth of another remains.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB - DAY] (Mike Keppler is back at the computer looking at the map of the city area with emphasis on the five dental groups in the area and the locations the victims' bodies were found.) (He places a spiral on ARCHOFF DENTISTRY GROUP and widens the spiral. It doesn't work. Some victims are outside the spiral.) (He moves the spiral to the LINDALES VALLEY DENTAL and widens the spiral. It doesn't work.) (He moves the spiral to the COLEBERT DENTAL CENTER. He widens the spiral and notes that all the victims fall inside the area.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. COLEBERT DENTAL CENTER - RECEPTION - DAY] (Catherine and Mike Keppler talk with the office manager. Catherine shows her a photo of the victim.) Catherine: Her name is Veronica Sorensen, and we believe that she might have been a patient here. Office Manager: Oh, yes ... that poor girl. I saw her on the news. It's terrible. (She barely looks at the photo and hands it back to Catherine.) Catherine: Yes. These girls, do you recognize any of them? (Catherine hands the folder with the other victims' photos to the office mnager. The office manager looks away. She doesn't look through the photos.) Office Manager: Are those girls dead? Mike Keppler: We need you to look carefully at those, ma'am. (She sighs and looks at the photos.) Office Manager: I'm sorry. I don't recognize them. Catherine: Well, we're going to have to see your patient files from 1975 to Office Manager: Oh, well, I'm sorry. Inactive files aren't kept past seven years. We just don't have the space. Mike Keppler: Can you tell us who worked on Veronica Sorensen? Office Manager: I'll have to check. (She goes to the file cabinet.) We have several dentists on staff. Even a few dental students who volunteer. There we are. (She looks at the file folder.) She saw Dr. Dave. That's Dr. David Lowry. Everyone around here calls him Dr. Dave. Catherine: How long has Dr. Dave been working here? Office Manager: Oh, as long as I have. And I'm going on my thirty-second year. Mike Keppler: Could you ask him to step out, please? We'd like to speak with him. Office Manager: It's 1:15. He's at the Quality Cafe, around the corner on Fremont. Second booth on the left facing the counter. The man is nothing if not predictable. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. QUALITY CAF - DAY] (Catherine and Mike Keppler enter the cafe and head for the booth where David Lowry is sitting.) Catherine: Dr. David Lowry? David Lowry: Everybody calls me Dr. Dave. Catherine: I'm Catherine Willows. This is Michael Keppler. We're from the Crime Lab. David Lowry: Please, join me. Catherine: Thank you. (Catherine and Keppler sit down.) Mike Keppler: Dr. Lowry, we'd like to ask you about one of your patients ... Veronica Sorensen. Is this your work? (Keppler shows Lowry photos of the victim and her dental work.) David Lowry: That was a very sad business. She was a lovely, young girl. (sighs) She had a gum-line cavity. Now, normally, I would have used enamel resin to match the teeth, but this was on the inside of her mouth, so I used amalgam to fill it because it was less expensive, and she was worried about the cost, and ... her bill was never paid. Mike Keppler: Are these your work as well? (He shows Lowry the other victims and their dental work.) David Lowry: I have no idea -- I was ... I was seeing a lot of patients over the years. Do you know their names? I mean, that might ring a bell. Catherine: No, we don't know who they are. Do you ever use chloral hydrate? David Lowry: No one uses chloral hydrate anymore. It's too dangerous. (Keppler watches Lowry.) David Lowry: I just feel so awful. Mike Keppler: Why is that? David Lowry: I brightened her smile. Perhaps that's what attracted her predator. (He looks at them.) Oh, well ... you'll forgive, but if you don't have any more questions, I really should get back to my office. (He gets up.) David Lowry: (to Catherine) Whoever did your mouth ... he does lovely work. Catherine: Thank you. (Lowry heads out.) Woman: (o.s.) See you tomorrow, Dr. Dave. (Catherine and Keppler watch him leave.) Mike Keppler: I don't know, kind of reminds me of my Uncle Ralph. Catherine: Except for the serial killer part, I hope. Mike Keppler: Haven't seen him in a while. Who knows? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - A/V LAB -- DAY] (Nick looks over the damaged film negatives. He scans it into the computer. The images appear on the monitor. He works on the negatives of the victims. He finds a photo of some bruising on the victim. He clears the image and sees it's a set of teeth marks.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Nick shares his findings with Catherine and Keppler.) Nick: In the original photograph, it would've looked like a severe bruise. But there's a lot of information in the negative. You know, back in the day, they didn't have the capability to see this stuff. Mike Keppler: Pretty distinct impressions of the six upper teeth. Nick: Yeah. And here, there's a small gap between the two front teeth. Did Dr. Dave have a space between his teeth? Catherine: I don't remember. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. COLEBERT DENTAL CENTER - HALLWAY -- DAY] (Catherine and Keppler head for the back dental offices. The office manager tries to stop them. Catherine is holding a warrant.) Office Manager: But you can't go in there, because he's with a patient. Mike Keppler: Excuse me. (Keppler motions to the officer, who stops the office manager from following them.) Officer: (b.g.) Ma'am. I'm sorry, but you'll have to stay here. (Catherine knocks on the door to the room. Dr. Lowry is working on a patient.) Catherine: Dr. Lowry, would you please come with us? David Lowry: Eugenia has been seeing me for, um, how many years, my dear? Eugenia: (grunts) David Lowry: I think it's much longer than that. I'd like to finish Eugenia up before the Novocain wears off. Catherine: We've got a court order to collect a bite impression from you. David Lowry: Is this about these young girls? Mike Keppler: I think you know what this is about, Dr. Lowry. You're gonna need to come down to the Crime Lab with us. David Lowry: Bite impression. Couldn't we just do that here? It'll save us all a lot of time and trouble, unless of course, embarrassing me in front of my patient is your real intent. (Dr. Lowry looks at Eugenia, who looks at them. Mike shrugs to Catherine.) Catherine: Fine. David Lowry: Okay. Eugenia? (Eugenia grunts.) David Lowry: I'm going to have you wait in Exam Four, and I'll be in there in just a short while. (Eugenia grunts again.) (He helps her up and out of the chair.) David Lowry: No, come on, let's go. Let's see, just ... And you know the upper right teeth we worked on? Well, they're looking fine. (He leads her out of the exam room. Keppler closes the door. [SCENE_BREAK] (Catherine is mixing the mold mixture. Lowry watches her work with disapproval.) David Lowry: (to Keppler) That's too much water. It will never set. Mike Keppler: We've got time. David Lowry: Young lady, please, please, please, let me do this. I have much more practice. Catherine: Be my guest. (He takes the container from her and mixes it himself.) David Lowry: You know ... I don't believe courts accept bite mark evidence much anymore. No, they'd much rather have DNA from saliva around a wound. Catherine: I've gotten convictions from bite marks. David Lowry: Not many, I suspect. Do you know that our teeth continuously migrate through our entire life? (chuckles) Yes. Dental forensics is definitely an inexact science. (He slathers the mixture on the holder and puts it in his own mouth. He shows it to Keppler, then settles to wait.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (The two teeth molds are made. Keppler compares it to the impression on the victim.) Mike Keppler: We could probably match four out of six. Catherine: That's not enough for a conviction. Mike Keppler: Has to be. It's all we've got. (Catherine looks at the killer's teeth impression.) Catherine: The killer's left front incisor is misaligned. Dr. Dave's smile is perfect. Mike Keppler: Would you go to a dentist with bad teeth? [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY OUTSIDE INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (Brass, Keppler and Catherine walk through the hallway on their way to the interview room.) Brass: So we're all on the same page, right? About giving the man to these girls. Catherine: Yes. Brass: So, Mike, the viewing room is down the end of the hall. Catherine: Wait, why don't you go in and I'll watch. Mike Keppler: What makes you think he's gonna talk to me? Catherine: Because I have a pretty good feeling he's not gonna talk to me. (Catherine gives the file folder to Keppler. She enters the observation room to watch.) Mike Keppler: All right. (Brass and Keppler enter the interview room.) [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- CONTINUOUS] (Brass and Keppler talk with David Lowry.) Mike Keppler: Dr. Lowry, I'd like to show you a bite impression that we're using as evidence in the Sorensen case. (Lowry looks at the bite impression.) David Lowry: There are similarities. But I don't think it's conclusive. Mike Keppler: Yes. The left front incisor doesn't match, and there's a sizable gap between the two front teeth. But then we found these. (Keppler opens a file folder and takes out another bite impression.) Brass: We subpoenaed your personal records. You go to a good dentist. Mike Keppler: In late 1989, you had a cosmetic surgery to repair a sizable gap between your two front teeth. David Lowry: Diastema. It's called diastema. Mike Keppler: We used the X-rays taken before the procedure to modify your dental model so that it matched the configuration of your teeth in 1989. This is the new overlay. (He shows the comparison to Lowry. It's a match.) David Lowry: Very impressive. You make a good case. Mike Keppler: Wasn't easy, Dr. Lowry. You cover your tracks well. David Lowry: Dr. Dave, please, call me Dr. Dave. (Keppler shows Lowry the victim photos.) Mike Keppler: Jane Doe in 1975, Jane Doe in 1989, and Jane Doe, 1999. Three girls without identities. Brass: You were the last person to see them alive. You know their names. Tell us. Mike Keppler: You have two daughters, don't you, Dr. Lowry? David Lowry: This is the most cryptic conversation I've had since dental school. Brass: All right, let me clear it up for you. The last time you moved as a free man was when you walked into this room. When you leave here, you're gonna be charged with murder. So do yourself a favor and give us the identity of these three girls, and you might spare yourself the death penalty. David Lowry: At my age, I'll die before that happens. Brass: So what do you have to lose? David Lowry: I don't want to degrade the sweetness of my memories. My memories are all I have left. Mike Keppler: I can't imagine that you didn't feel something for these girls at some point. We're just asking you to help us return them to their families. David Lowry: What benefit would I get from doing this? Mike Keppler: You might sleep better at night. David Lowry: I sleep fine, thank you very much. I've always considered that a key to my good health. Mike Keppler: So none of this bothers you? David Lowry: My life has been blessed. I was married to a kind woman. Just lost her a few years ago. We raised two children. One of them is an oral surgeon, the other one is a homemaker. Mike Keppler: And you don't care how this might affect them? David Lowry: They'll be horrified, of course. They're not monsters. Brass: Well, I'm sure the judge will take that into consideration. David Lowry: You're not listening. I don't feel bad about what I've done. I feel disappointed that I've been caught, but I tend to take the long view of things. I've had a wonderful life, and I know that all things human eventually must end. (Keppler looks at Catherine and shakes his head.) [SCENE_BREAK] CUE SONG: "Sweet Jane" [EXT. LV CITY CEMETERY - DAY] (The three crates are lowered into the grave. City workers shovel dirt back on the boxes.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. - DAY] (Keppler sits at the table and dials.) Recorded Voice: (from phone) You have no new messages. (Keppler sighs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. SCHOOL - DAY] (Lindsey heads off to school. She looks back at Catherine sitting in the car and waves to her. She runs over to join a group of friends.) (Catherine sits in her car and adjusts the rear view mirror to watch Lindsey.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. BUS STATION - NIGHT] (FAST FORWARD: Just like the teaser, people walk to and from the bus station.) (SLOW ON: A young woman arrives and looks out at the city.) (Hold on the young woman.) SMASH TO BLACK.

Catherine investigates the murder of a runaway teen whose naked body is found in a desert lot behind a hotel. Helping with the case is Mike Keppler (played by Liev Schreiber ), an experienced CSI from Baltimore who is the newest hire on the day shift but is filling in temporarily on the night shift since Grissom is on sabbatical. Their investigation reveals the dead girl may be the victim of a serial killer whose slayings may go back decades.

fd_Grey_s_Anatomy_02x03

fd_Grey_s_Anatomy_02x03_0

(Meredith and Cristina are jogging in the park) Cristina: Uh...Uh. (Meredith jogs back to her. Christina starts jogging again.) Cristina: Oh you're stupid. Oh God. You're stupid, evil, sadist and I wanna kill you. Meredith: Endorphins are good. Endorphins are mood elevators. This is supposed to make us feel better. Cristina: Oh god. Do you feel better? (Christina stops jogging to catch her breath, while Meredith jogs around her in circles) Meredith: I'm stupid. Cristina: Slutty mistress. Meredith: Pregnant whore. Cristina: Sleeping with our bosses was a great idea. (Meredith stops to catch her breath too) Meredith: You know what's ruined for me? Cristina (in pain): Ah? Meredith: Ferry boats. I used to love ferry boats and Derek's got a thing for ferry boats. Now every time I see a frigging ferry boat... Cristina (cuts off Meredith): You know what's ruined for me? Coronary artery by-pass grafts ... and aortic aneurysms. God I used to love aortic aneurysms. (Both lie down on the grass trying to catch their breaths.) MVO: Surgeons are control freaks. With a scalpel in your hand, you feel unstoppable. There's no fear, there's no pain. Meredith: Have you cried yet? Cristina: Hello? MVO: You're 10 feet tall and bullet proof. Cristina: Do you think we'll feel better if we cry? You know like just let it out? Meredith: Probably. Yeah. MVO: And then you leave the O.R. Cristina (unsure): Do you wanna cry now? Meredith: No. Cristina: Okay, lets, lets jog. MVO: And all that perfection. All that beautiful control just falls to crap. (Locker room) (Alex and Izzie are laughing together while the others stare on in awe) Cristina: What is she doing? George (unsure): She's hanging out with Alex. Cristina: Why? George (losing voice): I dunno. I think ... ... I think they might be friends. (Izzie & Alex continue laughing and joking with each other). George (whispers): Make the lambs stop screaming. (All walking in a hallway) Izzie: You guys are wrong about him, alright? Once you get to know him, he's really sweet. George: He's Alex. Cristina: Punk ass. Alex (calls back loudly): Hey Grey. Izzie was telling me you have tapes of your mom performing surgery. I'd kill to see the Ellis Grey in action. Izzie (calls back): Hey you know what? Maybe you can come over tonight and we can all watch it together? Right? (Meredith, Christina & George look at Izzie disbelievingly) Meredith: Oh yeah, if this were a hell dimension. Cristina: Yeah, run away pig boy. (George stops in front of Izzie) George: Do you have a thing for Alex? Izzie: No. Cristina (groans): Oh. Izzie: I don't. Cristina: Oh! Bailey: Are we saving lives or having a tea party? Walk faster people. (Derek is entering an elevator. Richard enters at the last second wearing an almost 'pimp' looking hat.) Richard: Ah hem. Derek: Nice hat. Richard: Shut up. Derek: What are you doing here? Richard: I'm going back to work. Derek: You're not cleared for surgery. Richard: Leave me alone. I've been sitting home for a week watching Oprah giving away things on TV. (stresses) Oprah, Derek! ... You clear me now or I'll hurt you. Derek: If you want me to clear you so soon, maybe you should've thought about that before you gave chief to Burke and invited Satan to Seattle. (Elevator opens and Addison enters) Richard: Satan? Addison : Good morning. Richard, like the hat. Derek: Satan speaks. Addison: Actually I prefer to be called ruler of all that is evil. (Richard laughs). But I will answer to Satan. Derek: What is she still doing here? Richard: I asked her to stay. We have a pediatric surgery attending on maternity leave. Addison (to Derek): Actually I could use you on a consult. Will you ah meet me up there Derek? Derek: Ah yeah. Fine ( Addison leaves the elevator) Derek: I'm not clearing you for surgery. Richard: Fine, I can catch up on my paperwork. (Richard leaves the elevator as well as doors shut. Derek laughs.) (Mr. Gaston's room. Dr. Bailey's group is surrounding his bed side with Dr. Burke) Cristina: Mr. Gaston is scheduled for resection non-small cell carcinoma today. He did well overnight, has remained afebrile. He's had a dose of ceftriaxone this morning. He's pre-op labs are unremarkable. His chest x-rays, um, are unchanged from the previous. Mr. Gaston: I own a couple of dry-cleaning stores. Never believed what they said about inhaling the chemicals, but... Burke: We're going to do everything we can for you, Mr. Gaston. (To Christina) Did Oncology see him yet? Cristina: Uh, they're waiting for the surgical path. Burke: Thank you, Dr. Yang. Cristina: You're welcome, Dr. Burke. (Bailey, Meredith and Cristina walking through the hall) Meredith: I know. I just think you should still tell him about the baby because he'd at least have the responsibility of having to pay. Cristina: No! You know what? He'll never know. It's over. Once this pregnancy is taken care of, Burke won't even be a blip on my radar. He'll be smudge. Meredith (sarcastic): Right. Cristina: You know, Meredith? ... Leave the sarcasm up to me ... Really, it doesn't suit you. (Kelly Roche's room. Dr. Bailey's group is now gathered here. Christina is looking through a medical book) Alex: Kelly Roche. She's 23 years old. In for a scheduled ETS for treatment of her erythrophobia hyperpyrexia. Izzie (whispers to Christina): Erythrophobia? Cristina: Blushing. Bailey (to Kelly): You have any questions about the procedure? Kelly: Oh. Dr. Sh ... (blushes badly and she tries to get it to go away by fanning her face) ... Dr. Shepherd explained everything. He was very... huh...helpful. He gave me some literat ... (blushing gets even worse) ... sorry... Alex: Don't be. Half the patients that come through here have the hots for Shepherd. Bailey (in a disapproving voice): Dr. Karev. Alex: What? ... It's true. (Izzie pacing with arms crossed, waiting out in the hall for Alex. George and Meredith are in the distant grabbing food from the vending machine.) Izzie: Hey, why do you do that? Alex: What? Izzie: Act like an ass when everybody but me is around, they hate you enough as it is. Alex (shrugs): So? ... (Izzie still stands there annoyed) What? (Dr. Bailey appears from the corner.) Bailey: Hey there's a new surgical case coming up from the pit. Likely diverticulitis. Let's go. (Izzie, Alex and George follow hurriedly. Meredith grabs her food and runs after them a bit behind) Woman: Watch it! Hands off me! I could report you to the chief and you'd be out on your ass. (Meredith stops recognizing the voice. She starts walking slowly to where the others are around another corner. Ellis Grey is shouting from a moving gurney. Christina is reading her chart, while Dr. Bailey, Alex, Izzie & George move the gurney.) Ellis: Where is the chief?!? Cristina: Patient's name is ...ah... Ellis: Where is the chief?!? You're all amateurs. Cristina: complaining of intermittent cramping pain and diarrhea. Also suffers from ...ah... (Meredith can now see it is her mother and stares shocked, backing away slowly. Christina is knowing its Meredith's mother is unsure if she should continue. She makes brief eye contact with Meredith.) Ellis (yells): AMATEURS! Cristina: Alzheimer's. Bailey: Patient's name? Cristina: Um... Bailey: Yang! Patient's name! Ellis (to Meredith): What the hell are you doing here? (Meredith scurries off, hiding behind an office corner, peeking her head out) Ellis (in an increasing yelling voice): Haven't I told? How many times have I told you not to bother me when I'm at work?! (Dr. Bailey & the others stare at Meredith) Cristina: Ellis Grey. George: Meredith's mother. Ellis (yelling): You're amateurs! You're amateurs! (Izzie, Alex, George, & Christina all talking at once in the hallway just outside the locker room being blocked by Dr. Bailey. Meredith is inside) George: Meredith, are you okay? Bailey (places her hand over George's mouth): Just zip. (She hands chart to Alex). Dr. Karev stick with ETS case and Alex her blushing impulse not a toy for you to play with or button for you to push. Understood? Cristina (sounding sincere): Hey Meredith, you know um my great grandmother, she died with Alzheimer's. Izzie: My god, why would you say that? Cristina: Look, I'm just trying to help. Bailey: Izzie, the Dr. Shepherd's need an intern up in the NICU. Izzie: Wait, both of them? ... To..gether...and me by myself with the two married people who hate each other? Bailey: Go. (Izzie walks off) Bailey: Christina you're on the thoracotomy. Cristina: With Burke? Oh can I have the hateful married couple instead? Bailey (annoyed): Okay, I'm sorry I thought that I was your resident not your hostess. I assign, you take. Is that a problem? Cristina (stutters): N-nn Bailey (annoyed): Is there some reason why it's inconvenient for you to spend the day in the OR. learning from Dr. Burke? Cristina: No. I'm very happy to be working with Dr. Burke. Thank you very much. (Christina walks off) Bailey: George, take care of Dr. Grey. George: Yes. Thank you. (moves in and hugs Dr. Bailey who is stiff and confused) She needs a friend right now. (George tries to move into the locker room, but Dr. Bailey throws her arm against the door way to stop him). Bailey: What? George: Oh you mean Ellis the ... (Dr. Bailey goes into the locker room. George walks away not sure where to go) mother. (Dr. Bailey shuts the door to the locker room. Meredith removes herself from hiding behind one of the lockers and goes and opens her own locker.) Bailey: Are you able to work today? Meredith: Yes. I'm fine. Bailey: Cause I would understand it if you wanted to be with your ... Meredith: No. My mother and I don't have the easiest...it's just better if I'm working. Bailey: Okay. You're on scut. Meredith: Excuse me? Bailey: While we take care of your mother, you can catch up on charting, run samples to the lab, go over (Meredith cuts her off) Meredith: I told you, I'm fine. Bailey: Yea and I appreciate that you're fine but I have to anticipate a certain level of distraction from you today. Even in the face of all that fineness. So scut now! (Natal Intensive Care Unit where Dr. Shepherd is going over the baby's chart while Izzie and Addison are watching over the baby who is in a glass encasing.) Derek: Where's the mother? Addison: Gone. She stuck around long enough to get the kid strung out and then took off. Nice, huh? Derek (frustrated): Addison! Addison: Derek I know it's a long shot. I know that. Derek: You told me you had a newborn with an invasive mash. You fail to mention that she's premature, underweight and addicted to narcotics. There's no way that this baby is going to survive spinal surgery. Addison: You don't know that. Derek: Even if she does, she's a mess. She'll just get meningitis seizures. She's going to live a short painful life. Addison: You don't know that. Derek: It's my job to know that. Addison: You're not God Derek. Derek: Excuse me? Addison: I'm sorry honey but you're not. You don't get to decide (she is cut off by Dr. Shepherd) Derek: Wait did you just call me honey (Addison tries to talk). Don't call me honey! (Izzie is getting uncomfortable with the turn of conversation) Addison: Fine. You're not god Dr. Shepherd. Look if a patient has any chance at survival, which I think she does, then you have a responsibility (cut off by Derek again) Derek: Don't talk to me about responsibility. Addison: You took an oath Derek! Derek: Oh don't you dare talk to me about oaths! Addison: Derek, I messed up. People mess up. Derek: You slept with my best friend in my favorite sheets. Addison: The flannel sheets? You hate the flannel sheets. Derek: No I love the sheets. Addison: You like the Italian sheets with the paisleys (cut of by Derek) Derek: Would you just stop talking about the sheets? Addison: Fine! Izzie: Look I'm sorry. I'm just gonna go. I'll go check on the labs. (Izzie leaves the room. Addison is upset.) Derek: Addison, don't do this. Addison: Derek ... look she's a fighter. Look how far she's come already. Derek: Don't get attached. Don't get involved. Just ... don't make her life more painful than it already is. Addison: Derek, please. She has nobody. She needs someone to fight for her. Derek: She's too far gone. You have to let her go. Let her go in peace. (Derek leaves the room) Addison (watching Derek leave the NICU unit): Fine Derek, walk away. It's what you do best. (Dr. Burke is packing his stuff away from Richard's desk. Richard is putting his own stuff back on the desk) Burke: I've enjoyed the opportunity to show you my capabilities in this arena however brief. Richard: Stop fishing, Preston. You did a good job. ... But I'm back now and I don't plan on going anywhere, anytime soon. Burke: I am glad that you're back. I'm just hiding my joy...deep down inside. (Burke picks up his box of stuff and moves to leave the office) And ah chief ... the hat ... it's a little pimped out. (Burke leaves. Richard takes off the pimp hat. Meredith holding a patient file knocks on the office door and enters) Meredith: Welcome back chief. Richard: It's good to be back, Dr. Grey. Uh what can I do for you: Meredith: It's my mother sir. (Meredith hands him the file. Richard flips through it, looks at Meredith and sits down) Meredith: I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I know you two are close. But she made me promise. She seems to be reliving the heyday of her residency a lot these days. And I just thought maybe if you could stop by and say hello, it would mean a lot to her. Richard (takes a second to answer): Well of course. (stares at Meredith) Do you need a day off? Meredith: Oh no. I'm fine. Richard: Yeah. Meredith: Okay (starts backing away and walks out of the office) (George is trying to Ellis Grey a physical exam. She is constantly turning away from him.) George: Um...if you could just hold still (Ellis shrugs out of his grasp and grabs her chart) Ellis: I'm in the middle of my work day Thatch. George: Thatch? No, I'm Dr. O'Malley. (They wrestle for the chart, Ellis eventually yanks it) Okay. I just need to check your... Ellis: Darling I'm not in the mood to play doctor now. Hands off, I'm busy. Um... (Meredith comes and stands out at the doorway) Meredith: George. George: Um. Ellis: Damn it Thatcher I mean it no. Meredith: George. (George leaves the room to go talk to Meredith) Meredith: She's allergic to penicillin. George: Yeah? Oh yeah it said on her chart. Meredith: Oh. ... You just have to be patient. George: Okay. Do you um ... who's Thatch? (long pause) Meredith: My dad, Thatcher. ... What did she ... is she ... is she talking about him? George: Um...yeah. She's... Meredith: She never talks about him. George: You're, you're all right. Meredith: No, yeah, yeah. I'm good. George (murmurs): Good. Meredith: Um. I can't be here. George: Of course, I mean we're good here, we're great, so... Meredith: Okay. George: Okay. (George goes back into Ellis's room. Meredith peeks in briefly before leaning back against an adjacent wall. She sees Derek walking by and goes after him. He is going through some files. Meredith comes and stands at the door.) Meredith: Dr. Shepherd. Derek: Meredith. I heard. Is it true? Meredith: Yeah. Secret's out. Derek (sighs): Ohhh. Meredith: Dr. Shepherd, I ... (Derek cuts her off) Derek: You don't have to call me Dr. Shepherd. Meredith (adamant): Dr. Shepherd. I want in on a surgical case. I can't just do nothing all day. (sighs) And you owe me this. And I never ask you for anything like this, so... Derek: I have ETS this afternoon. You'll scrub in. (Derek leaves the room.) (Dr. Burke is operating, performing a thoracotomy on Mr. Gaston. Cristina enters the OR. A doctor hands her a gown) Doctor: Here Dr. Yang. Burke: You're late. Cristina: I apologize. (She joins a group of interns who are watching) Doctor: Suction. Burke: Just starting to dissect around Mr. Gaston's tumor. (Cristina seems a bit tired) Burke: I've almost got visualization. (Kelly's room where Alex is checking her glands. Dr. Shepherd enters the room.) Derek: Hey Kelly. Kelly: Dr. Shep (her face goes instantly red, she starts fanning her face again furiously. Meredith enters the room as well) Dr. Shepherd. God. Sorry. Damn it. Derek: Kelly. Kelly: Yup. (continues fanning her face) DErek: Kelly. Kelly: Mmm hmm. Derek: This might be the last time that ever happens. (Kelly smiles briefly) How are her labs? Alex: H&H are stable. Chest x-rays show no acute process. Derek: Good. You're ready to go? Kelly: Are you kidding? I've been ready since the 3rd grade. Derek: Did you read the literature I gave you? (Kelly nods.) You understand the possible side-effects? Kelly: Compensatory sweating of the back, abdomen, thighs and legs. Possible gustatory sweating. Horner's syndrome occurs in less than 1% of patients. Brachial plexus injury. Pneumothorax and hemothorax are highly unlikely but possible side effects of the surgery. Derek: You did your homework. (to Alex). Take her to pre-op. I'll alert the O.R. (Derek leaves the room) Alex: Do you know what all those words mean? (Kelly looks at him) Brachial plexus injury could cause paralysis of the arms. Pneumothorax is a collapsed lung. Kelly: I know (she is still red faced) Meredith: Are you sure you want to risk all of that? Over a little bit of blushing. Kelly: Is that ... what you think this is? A little bit of blushing? Just a school girl embarrassment? You both saw what happened when Dr. Shep ... (she goes even redder and starts fanning her self again) ... when Dr. Shepherd was here. What did you think? Alex: Well I thought you liked him. Kelly: I do but you think I wanna room full of doctors to know about it? Alex: It's not like we're gonna... Kelly: It's not just you guys. It's not just this once. It happens ... every time I have a feeling for anyone ... in my life. (she is trying not to cry) I can't ... get mad. I can't be happy. I can't feel anything without the whole world knowing. I can't have a secret. Can you imagine living that way you're entire life? (Ellis Grey's room. There is a loud smash.) Ellis (yelling): Get away from me you insipid little man. (She throws a pillow at George) George: Dr. Grey calm down. Ellis: Get out of here! Get out of my room now! George: Dr. Grey calm down! Ellis: Get away from my house! George: Please! (Nurse walks in) Nurse: What can I do? George: Calm down! (to nurse) Please get some haloperidol. (Nurse leaves) Ellis: Don't give me that look. That sapful, little soulful puppy routine. I know it by heart, Thatch! And I'm over it. (Alex and Meredith are coming down the hall and stop outside the room. Alex pokes his head in. Meredith is looking anywhere but the room.) Ellis: I don't wanna hear about your day, your students, your pathetic little research grants. My ... my work is what counts! It's what pays for this house. It's pays for ... it pays for you! And it pays for, it pays for Meredith! (Meredith is just listening now) And your precious lifestyle. So why don't you just leave me alone and let me do it! (Alex looks disbelieving) Meredith make thinks she needs you but sure as hell don't. George: Dr. Grey. (nurse comes running in) Nurse: Here it is. (Meredith walks away into a room and sighs with her back against the door. It turns out its Kelly's room) Kelly: Are you okay? Meredith: That's something I'm supposed to be asking you. (George is running around the halls, looking for someone. Richard calls out from his office) Richard: O'Malley. (Richard walks out to meet him. He is wearing a golfer's hat now) I understand you're working on Ellis Grey. George: Yes sir, I'm trying my best. Richard: Right. Keep me informed of her progress and take good care of her. She's an old friend of mine. George: Really? Because actually I could use some help. Could, could you help me ... examine her? Richard: Um, ah... I'm just a little busy just now...uh..ah...gotta run. (Richard starts to walk off) George: Right. Okay. It's just that she seems to think that I'm her ex-husband and she won't let me touch her. (Richard stops, taking off his cap and looks at George) Richard: It's funny you do...look a bit like Thatcher. George (partly mortified): I look a bit like Meredith's dad? Richard: Um...just take good care of her George. (Richard walks off) George: But...like her dad? ... ... I need help. (Izzie walking down the stairwell. Alex catches up with her) Alex: Hey. Izzie: Hey. Alex: Woah, wait, wait. Izzie: What? (They stop walking. Alex reaches up and removes an eyelash from Izzie's face.) Alex: You have an eyelash. (he puts it on the palm of his hand) Make a wish and blow it away. (Izzie smiles and closes her eyes. Someone else is coming up the stairs. Alex is distracted) Alex: Hey Nurse Ratchet, there's a dead guy stinking up Room 41 25. (Izzie walks starts walking away)Do something about it before he rots! (Alex catches up with Izzie as they enter a floor on the hospital and starting walking down a hall) Izzie: See? That is exactly what I'm talking about. Alex: Come on. Izzie: Why are you so up-tight in showing people that you're a decent human being? (George comes down from another hallway and sees them. Alex goes to speak but George beats him to it) George: Remember when he wallpapered the hospital with pictures of you in your underwear? Izzie: Yeah... Yeah I do. (she walks off) Alex: That was before I knew you. (George walks up to Alex) Thanks man, very helpful. George: I need you to help me do an exam on Meredith's mom. Alex (sarcastic): Oh a standard exam. You did go to med school, right? George: She thinks I'm her ex-husband. She won't let me. (Ellis Grey rifling through her bed-side drawers. Alex and George enter her room) George: Dr. Grey. Ellis: Oh damn it Thatcher I'm at work. I've already told you I'm too busy to deal with you now. No more cartoons. George: She means interruptions. Alex: No more interruptions Thatch. You heard the doctor. (Alex walks in up to Ellis) Hi ma'am I'm Dr. Karev. (he shake's Ellis' hand) Please to meet you Dr. Grey. I've always admired your work. Ellis: So you're familiar with the laparoscopic-grey method? Alex: Oh I've studied footage of the operation you pioneered. (he removes his stethoscope) You're something else. (George is watching on) Ellis: Good. Well then we're wasting time. Let's scrub in. Alex: Well Dr. Grey I'm going to need to do a short exam before you start surgery. (Ellis looks on questioningly)I know. New hospital policy. Annoying PR crap. Ellis: Ah! (she removes her cardigan which is over her hospital gown) Make it quick. (Alex starts listening to heart beat with his stethoscope) Alex: Why don't you wait outside Thatcher? I can take it from here. (George leaves the room) Alex: Take a deep breath. (NICU unit. Addison is watching over the premature baby who is gripping Addison's finger. Izzie walks into the room with the baby's chart) Izzie: She's got a good grip. Addison: Yeah. Izzie: I don't think, ... (she shakes her head and paces the chart to Addison) it doesn't look good. Addison: She's a got a resistant strain of pneumococcus. The antibiotics aren't working. You may want to get yourself reassigned Dr. Stevens. I don't think we'll be operating today. Izzie: So do you think Dr. Shepherd was right? Addison: She's just too far gone ... She does have a good grip. (OR with Dr. Burke still operating on Mr. Gaston. Christina is looking exhausted and sweaty) Burke: The tumor has infiltrated the pericardium. (Dr. Burke still operating looks at Christina. She appears to be daydreaming.) Burke: Yang. (his voice sounds distant and muffled from Christina's perspective. Her surroundings appear blurry.) Yang! Cristina: What, sorry? Burke: Is my surgery interrupting your daydreaming? Cristina: No. Sorry. (Pans up to viewing room were other doctors are watching including Dr. Bailey. Izzie walks in and sits next to her. Izzie sighs) Bailey: You have a problem? Izzie: No. Bailey: You have a mocha latte? Izzie: No. Bailey: Then go away. Izzie: Actually I need a new assignment. The uh Shepherds' preemie case is not surgical. Bailey: Not surgical? Izzie: Non-operable. Bailey: Sucks. Izzie: Yeah. Bailey: Did you know about Ellis Grey? Did Meredith tell you? Izzie: No. It's just that you think, you think you know someone. You know who they are. You share a house. Make wishes on eyelashes with them. ... We don't know each other. None of us. We're just a bunch of interns who work together. There's nothing there. (Goes back to O.R. Christina is still seeing blurry) Burke: There is an arrhythmia when I press down on the tumor. That is a sign of what, Yang? Cristina: Um ... ... ah it's a sign of, it's a ... it's a sign that the uh tumor has infiltrated the pericardium. Burke: Possibilities? Cristina: In all...I'm sorry. I ... Burke: Do your homework Yang. It could be causing a tear in the aortic muscle of the heart. Doctor: Hmm. So he's got a broken heart. (Christina sways and collapses on the floor) Doctor: Dr. Yang are you okay? Burke: Cristina. Cristina. (Camera moves back to viewing room where Izzie and Dr. Bailey have leapt up to their feet and see Cristina lying on the floor, surrounded by doctors) Burke: Somebody help her! (The doctors lay Cristina on her back. Izzie & Dr. Bailey leave the viewing room. Dr. Burke has stopped the surgery but not moved from where he's standing. Doctors still surround Cristina) Burke: Cristina! Don't just stand there dammit. Somebody help her. Get a gurney in here! (Izzie & Dr. Bailey put on masks and enter the OR. Doctors rush out to get a gurney) Burke: Cristina. Izzie: Cristina. Bailey: We've got it Dr. Burke. We've got it. (Breathing mask is being put on Cristina's face) Burke: Okay talk to me. Tell me what we do we know. What do we know? Talk to me Stevens. Izzie: I don't know. Burke: Come on people let's move. Bailey: Cristina! What hurts? (Cristina doesn't respond but is conscious) Let's get her out of here. There's a patient on the table. Lift. (They lift Cristina onto the gurney and start moving her out of the OR) Bailey: Good, good. Burke: Dr. Bailey when you get her stabilized, I need a report please. (she doesn't answer) Dr. Bailey?! Bailey (busy): Right Dr. Burke! (They move Cristina out and down the hall) Bailey: Uh! Her pulse is racing. I need her on a monitor to get a BP. Also I want her started on a liter of LR wide open (Cristina is trying to talk) Izzie run ahead to emergency and let them know we're on our way. (Cristina is still trying to talk. Izzie removes her mask) Izzie (whispers): What? Cristina (breathless): Seven weeks. I'm pregnant Izzie. Izzie, I'm pregnant. (Izzie & Dr. Bailey stop and look at each other. They move the gurney into an elevator. Izzie is standing shocked outside) Bailey (to another doctor with the gurney): Uh, okay no. We're going to pre-op instead. (To Izzie) Find Addison Shepherd. Izzie be discreet. (Elevator doors close) (Addison and Richard walking down hall. Richard is wearing another new hat. This time a grey kinda 1920s gangster hat) Addison: So I'm leaving in the morning. Richard: No. Addison: Excuse me? Richard: No. I'm not accepting your resignation. Addison: It's not a resignation Richard. It's notification. I don't officially work for you. (They enter Richard's office) Addison: I came here for one case. I can track the twins progress from New York. Richard: What about the preemie? Addison: I'm letting go of the preemie, you know that. ... He calls me Satan, Richard. Richard: You don't like to hide from a fight. Addison: It's not a fight. He wins. (Richard puts away his hat) I'm leaving in the morning. (Addison moves to leave. George knocks on the door and steps into Richard's office) Richard: What is it O'Malley? George: It's Dr. Grey, sir. Ellis. (Izzie walking down a hallway looking for Addison. The level above where Richard and George are walking. Addison is trailing behind. Richard has switched to a bowlers cap now) George: CT confirmed diverticulitis but a liver mass was also found. Richard: My god. George: Poor Meredith. As if her mother having Alzheimer's isn't bad enough now she has to deal with liver cancer. (They start heading downstairs) Richard: You won't know that its cancer until you do a biopsy O'Malley. George: Right. Sorry. (Izzie comes to the bottom of the stairs. They stop walking.) Izzie: Excuse me Dr. Shepherd. We need you fast. ( Addison looks at Richard briefly) Um...it's Cristina, one of our interns. She's ... (she obviously doesn't want to say this in front of George) she's collapsed. George: Cristina's collapsed? Addison : Why do you need me? (Izzie sighs but doesn't say anything. Comprehension dawns on Addison and Richard, realizing she must be pregnant. George looks at them getting it too) George: Cristina's pregnant?! Izzie: Shut up George. (speaks to Addison) Please come. (Addison follows Izzie) Addison: This doesn't change anything Richard I'm still leaving in the morning. George: This is a very bad day. [SCENE_BREAK] (OR room where Derek is performing the ETS on Kelly. Alex & Meredith are there as well) Derek: Okay Dr. Karev if were going to stop her blushing we have to expose the sympathetic ganglion chain, which resides where? (Richard enters the O.R with George standing at the doorway) Richard: It's time to clear me for surgery Shepherd. Derek: What? Richard: I know you heard me. I'm standing right here. Derek: Chief I'm a little busy. We'll talk about it later. (Richard walks in holding a mask over his mouth. The door to the OR closes. George is waiting outside) Richard: Just give a verbal okay and we can do the paperwork later. Derek: I cannot do that. Richard: I am your chief of surgery. This is not a request. Derek: With all do respect, sir in this situation I am not your subordinate. I'm your doctor. Once week after brain surgery, you are not ready to resume medical practice. Richard: It's a simple procedure. A needle biopsy. A resident could do it. Derek: So let a resident do it. What am I missing here? (Meredith is watching the conversation, realizes what it's about) Meredith: It's for my mother, isn't it? You think she has cancer? Richard: George needs your signature. (Meredith looks at Derek and then leaves the OR) Derek: Look Richard I know she's your friend but I'm not clearing you for surgery. (Meredith has come out of the OR to sign the forms needed to do the procedure) Meredith: What's her total bili? George: It's actually only 4. (Meredith nods) It's not great but it's not terrible. (George hands her the forms and a pen to sign) Meredith: That's why I didn't see the jaundice George (looks uncomfortable): No one could we just have to wait and see. Meredith: What aren't you telling me? George: It's Cristina. (Addison is performing an ultrasound on Cristina who is now lying in a hospital bed. Dr. Bailey is standing behind Cristina's bed, stroking her hair) Addison: Have you notified the father? (Cristina doesn't say anything, just sort of breaths funny) Bailey: Cristina? Cristina? Uh, Cristina? Cristina? Is there anyone we can call? (Cristina just continues slightly gasping) Oh we're losing her. Addison (pointing to the screen displaying Cristian's uterus): Oh man do you see that? It's an extra uterine pregnancy in the tube there. She's bleeding out. (Dr. Burke whose just coming out of the O.R now. He's stopped by Richard just outside the whiteboard which lists all the surgeries occurring in the OR's of the hospital and at what time) Richard: Ah good you're finished. I need you to do a needle biopsy. Burke: Uh...gotta go check on ... there's someone I need to see about. I had an intern collapse on me in the middle of surgery so if this can wait... Richard (adamant): No I need you to do a needle biopsy now. Burke: Chief now is not the time. Richard: Look, I'm not in the mood for a debate. You understand. You'll do it because I asked you to. (An intern is scrubbing off one of the surgeries listed on the OR board and is writing on a new surgery) Richard: Because I need you to. (Burke looks at him) It's Ellis Grey. (Richard walks off. Burke eventually follows, but misses the intern writing YANG, C E.R.A on the board) (O.R where Addison is performing surgery on Cristina to remove the pregnancy. Dr. Bailey is still behind Cristina watching over her. Izzie is observing Addison) Izzie: She's gonna be okay, right? Addison: How attached was she to this pregnancy? Izzie: I don't know. She's a pretty private person. Addison: She's lost a lot of blood but I've got it from here. (continues performing surgery) Dr. Bailey you must have a surgery or two of your own today. Bailey: I'm fine right here. (Derek washing his hands after the surgery. Meredith and Alex enter the room to wash up as well) Meredith (to Alex): Can you do the follow up? I wanna check on Cristina. Alex: Yeah. You know what's wrong with her? (Derek stops Meredith and holds her arms comfortingly. Meredith backs out of his grasp looking upset. Dr. Shepherd holds his arms up in defense) Meredith (sharply): Don't! Derek: Sorry. Meredith: Don't be sorry. I'm so tired it, you being sorry. Derek: Dr. (cut of by Meredith) Meredith: Don't do it! Derek: Dr. Grey ... Meredith (annoyed): Dr. Grey, seriously. Are you concerned about Alex finding out about us? Is that what matters to you? Do you really think he cares? (Meredith turns to Alex. Alex is trying not to look bemused) Meredith (loudly): Alex do you care that I was the intern stupid enough to screw the married attending? Alex: No. (Meredith looks pointingly at Derek) Derek: It's okay. Meredith (loud and upset): It's not okay! You have a wife who's not easy to hate. (They've finished washing up but Alex stays to listen behind Derek) Who's annoyingly kind and painfully smart and currently saving my friend's life. Derek (softly): Meredith just... (Meredith cuts him off) Meredith: Don't! Stop talking to me like you're my boyfriend! Stop talking to me at all. (Meredith leaves the room) Alex: Dude, that was rough. (Derek nods slightly and walks out as well) (Meredith who has run over to outside the OR Cristina is in. She's about to come in. Dr. Bailey sees her and goes over to stop her at the door) Bailey: Need something? Meredith: I'm coming in. Bailey: No you're not. Meredith: I am. I'm her friend. Bailey: Exactly. She's lying on the operating table, naked, exposed. She's sedated but she's probably scared out of her mind. Now right now she's not a doctor. She's not your friend. She's a patient and she deserves to have all the privacy I can give her. You're not going in there. (Addison and Izzie look on) Meredith (sighs): We went jogging this morning. I made her go jogging. There's no way that could of? Bailey: No. It started out this way. Nothing caused it to happen. Meredith: You have to let me in there. Bailey (jokingly): You can try. I'd have to take you down. Hey I might be short but you're pretty tiny. I could do it. Meredith: Right now. Just in this moment. I hate you. Bailey: Hmm, yeah well I can take it. (Dr. Burke who is performing the needle biopsy on Ellis in her room. George is inside watching) Burke: Alright Dr. Grey we're going to put you to sleep for a little while, but I promise we'll have you back into surgery in no time. Ellis: Richard, thank god you're here. You beautiful man. That husband of mine is making me crazy. (Richard is watching outside through a glass window) (Derek is looking out into Seattle outside the big glass window in the hall by himself. Meredith is sitting alone in a viewing room of an OR looking upset) (Derek is watching over the preemie baby. Addison walks in) Addison: Look at that, BP is stabilizing. Derek: She's stronger since this morning. (Taking her chart he goes to sit in a rocking chair in the room) There's no reason in the world why she should be stronger since this morning. Addison: She's really beautiful, isn't she? Derek: I'll tell you what. If she makes it through the night, if she has a little bit more strength I'll operate. (They smile at each other) Addison : You know the way I see it we could deal with us in one of three ways. (She starts moving towards Derek) Addison: Option 1. I could apologize. You could forgive me and come home and we could move on with our lives like adults. Or, option 2. I could apologize. You could forgive me, come home but, you can still bring it up to use against me whenever we argue. Derek: Are you trying to be funny? (Addison leans over Derek) Addison: Satan has a sense of humor. Derek: What's the 3rd? Addison: I don't know what the 3rd option is. (Addison leans in and kisses Derek. He kisses back. Addison pulls away) Addison: I just know that I still love you. (Dr. Burke and George walking down the hall with OR board) Burke: Tell them the chief said to put a rush on this biopsy. Tell them it's Ellis Grey. George: Okay. (George walks off. Dr. Burke noticing the O.R board stops and stares. George comes back) George: Dr. Burke do you want the histological grade and staging or any specific stains? Burke: Have them run all tests. (He continues to stare at the board. The camera focuses in on next to C.YANG: EXPLOARATORY LAPAROTOMY ECTOPIC PREGANCY PRPS. SALPINGO - OOPHERECTOMY INPATIENT Dr. Burke is shocked) (Cristina lying in a hospital room. Dr Bailey is sitting in a chair watching over her. There's just silence for a little bit) Cristina: What happened? Bailey: You had an extra uterine pregnancy. Your left fallopian tube burst. (she sighs) Dr. Shepherd ... she did everything she could but there was too much damage. She couldn't save the tube. (Cristina doesn't say anything, just closes her eyes) (Kelly's room. Meredith is checking her. Alex is going over her chart. Kelly is waking up) Kelly: Hey. Meredith: Hey. Kelly: Is it over? Meredith: Mmm hmm. The surgery was successful. We're just doing a follow up. Dr. Shepherd will be in to check on you in a while. (Kelly doesn't blush) Kelly: Say that again. Alex: What? Kelly: Say his name. Dr. Shepherd. (she still doesn't blush) Oh my god look at my face. Dr. Shepherd. Dr. Shepherd. Meredith: Guess it was worth the risk. (Kelly chuckles and is smiling happily) (Alex and Meredith leave her room) Alex: Still think its nuts having major surgery just so people can't tell how you're feeling. Meredith: Really, you do? Alex: Nah. I guess not. (Alex walks ahead a little but stops and turns back to Meredith) You could talk you know. If you need to. Meredith: I'm fine. Alex: You've said that word so many times today it doesn't even sound like a work anymore. Just saying you can talk to me cause even if I repeat every word you say no one around here likes me. They'll just call me a liar and move on. Meredith (smiling): Izzie likes you. (Alex turns away trying not to smile). You're blushing. Alex: Shut up. (comes back up to Meredith) Look for what it's worth, I don't know how you're still on your feet. If I found out my mom might have cancer I'd be under the bar right now. Meredith: You want the ugly truth? Alex: What you have an ugly truth? (shakes his head) I never would have picked you to have an ugly truth. Meredith: I'm more afraid she doesn't have cancer. Alex: Well. Liver cancer's fast. Painful but its fast and they give you morphine. They don't give you morphine for Alzheimer's. Meredith: No they don't. (sighs) What kind of person wishes their mother has cancer? (Alex doesn't reply) (Richard in Ellis Grey's room. She is sleeping) Richard (sighs): It's hard. I know its hard being the one who's gone. But man it isn't easy being the one who's still around. (Meredith and George waiting for her mother's biopsy results at the nurses station. Izzie comes in and sits next to George) Izzie: Hey did you get your mom's biopsy results back yet? George: Not yet. Meredith: How's Cristina? Izzie (sighs): She's ah... she's gonna have a lotta pain for a few days but she'll be okay. Meredith: I'm glad you were there. Izzie: Are you? Meredith: Yes, I am. Izzie: It's just (half laughs) it's just that a lot of the time it feels like you and Cristina are kinda over there and ... I'm here. Meredith: So bout Alex. Izzie: Yeah I know, I know. You guys hate him. Fine. (George groans) Meredith: Yeah we do but I just wanna say that I believe you. That he's different once you get to know him. (Izzie smiles) Lab Tech: Here you go. (Lab tech appears and hands results to Meredith) Ellis Grey. (She reads the results while George and Izzie look on. She gets up and gives the results to George) Meredith: Let her know. (She starts walking away) Izzie: Meredith, are you okay? Meredith: No. I'm not okay. (Ellis Grey lying in her hospital bed. George walks in) George: Dr. Grey. (She opens her eyes startled) Ellis: Oh please Thatcher I've had a long day. Go away (She closes her eyes) George: No! (she opens them again) Ellis: What? George: No. (he checks to see if anyone is nearby) I am Thatcher Grey and I'm your husband. And uh I know you don't like me very much but ... the fact is I don't always like you very much either. (Ellis looks surprised) I don't like the way you speak to me. And I really hate the way you speak to Meredith. She deserves better from you. Ellis: I'm sorry. George: You are? Ellis: What's wrong with me Thatch? George: Ah, the mass on your liver ... (she cuts him off) Ellis: Is it algebra? ... I mean is it alge ... damn it. (sighs) Is it malignant? George: No. It's benign. (Outside SGH) (Derek walking out of the hospital. He's sees Meredith sitting on a bench. She's crying but he can't see her face only her back.) Derek: Meredith? Meredith (softly): Oh. Derek: Meredith. Meredith (sobs): Don't. ... Please, please just don't say anything. Derek: Okay. (He's still standing there. She gets up and goes around the bench, stopping in front of him. He looks concerned) Meredith: I'm just exhausted. My mother is exhausting. What happened to Cristina and you. Hating you is the most exhausting. (She grabs his face and kisses him briefly) Meredith: I don't want to do it anymore. (She walks back into the hospital. Derek is stunned.) (SGH) MVO: No one likes to lose control but as a surgeon there's nothing worse. (Ellis Grey's room. She's made space for 'Thatch' on her bed. George stares. She pats it. He eventually sits on the bed and lies next to her.) MVO: It's a sign of weakness. Of not being up to the task. (Izzie & Alex standing in a hallway in the hospital outside a doorway) Izzie: How can someone be so offensive and yet so charming all at the same time? Alex: It's an art form. Izzie: Hmm (They both smile. She walks off) MVO: And still there are times when it just gets away from you. (Ellis & George. She kisses him on the cheek) MVO: When the world stops spinning. And you realize that your shiny little scalpel isn't gonna save you. (Meredith walking into Cristina's hospital room. There's no one else there) (Dr. Burke talking to Mr. Gaston in his hospital room) Burke: We went in expecting to simply remove the tumor. Instead it was a little more complicated. The tumor infiltrated into the pericardium causing a tear in the outer muscle of the heart. Mr. Gaston: Um. That's a lot of medical talk. Burke (finding it difficult to talk): It means um ... (clears throat and takes off his glasses) It means ... that you had... you had a broken heart literally. (he smiles wryly) um ... but now I am um ... (he half laughs) but now you're going to be fine. (He walks out of the room. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying not to cry?) MVO: No matter how hard you fight it. You fall. And its scary as hell. (Burke stops in front of Cristina's room. Cristina is sleeping. Meredith, Alex, George and Izzie are in there) MVO: Except there's an upside to free falling. It's the chance you give your friends to catch you. (Dr. Burke walks away)

Ellis Grey is brought into the hospital for possible diverticulitis , and her Alzheimer's condition becomes known to everyone. George is assigned to her case, but she refuses letting him treat her, believing he is her ex-husband Thatcher Grey. Alex and Meredith treat a young patient with an extreme blushing condition. Izzie defends her blossoming friendship with Alex to the others. Addison and Izzie try and save the life of a premature baby who was abandoned. To Burke's shock, Cristina collapses in the O.R. and Addison has to remove her Fallopian tube, causing her baby to be aborted and Burke to find out that she was pregnant. Meredith tells Derek that hating him is exhausting and that she doesn't want to do it anymore.

fd_Teen_Wolf_01x05

fd_Teen_Wolf_01x05_0

Jackson: Hoosiers is not only the best basketball movie ever. It is the best sports movie ever made. Lydia: No. Jackson: It's got Gene Hackman and Dennis Hopper. Lydia: No. Jackson: Lydia, I swear to God you're gonna like it. Lydia: No. Jackson: I am not watching The Notebook again. Jackson: Can somebody help me find The Notebook? Hello? Is anybody working here? You gotta be kidding me. Sheriff: Mm. Did they forget my curly fries? Stiles: You're not supposed to eat fries, especially the curly ones. Sheriff: Well, I'm carrying a lethal weapon. If I want the curly fries, I will have the curly fries. Stiles: If you think getting rid of contractions in all your sentences makes your argument any more legitimate, you are wrong. Dispatch: Unit one, do you copy? Stiles: Sorry. Sheriff: Unit one, copy. Dispatch: Got a report of a possible 187. Stiles: A murder? Sheriff: Stay here. Paul, let's get this area locked up. Stiles: Oh, no way. Jackson: Why the hell can't I just go home? I'm fine. Sheriff: I hear ya, but the EMT says you hit your head pretty hard. They just wanna make sure you don't have a concussion. Jackson: What part of "I'm fine" are you having a problem grasping? Okay, I wanna go home. Sheriff: And I understand that. Jackson: No, you don't understand, which kind of blows my mind, since it should be a pretty basic concept to grasp for a minimum - wage rent - a - cop like you! Okay, now, I wanna go home! Stiles: Oh, whoa, is that a dead body? Sheriff: Everybody back up. Back up. Derek: Starting to get it? Scott: Uh, I get that he's killing people, but I don't get why. I mean, this isn't standard practice, right? We don't go out in the middle of the night murdering everyone, do we? Derek: No. We're predators. We don't have to be killers. Scott: Then why is he a killer? Derek: That's what we're gonna find out. Scott: You know, I have a life too. Derek: No, you don't. Scott: Yes, I do! I don't care what you say about him making me his pet or - Derek: Part of his pack. Scott: Whatever. I have homework to do. I have to go to a parent/teacher conference tomorrow because I'm failing chemistry. Derek: You wanna do homework? Or do you wanna not die? You have less than a week until the full moon. You don't kill with him, he kills you. Scott: Okay, seriously, who made up these rules? Derek: It's a rite of passage into his pack. Scott: You know what else is a rite of passage? Graduating from high school. And you don't have to kill anyone to do it! Why can't you just find him yourself? Why can't you just sniff him out when he's a human? Derek: Because his human scent could be entirely different. It has to be you. You have a connection with him, a link that you can't understand. If I can teach you to control your abilities, you can find him. Scott: So if I help you - you can stop him? Derek: Not alone. We're stronger in numbers. A pack makes the individual more powerful. Scott: How am I supposed to help if I have no idea what I'm doing? Derek: Because I'm gonna teach you. Do you remember what happened that first night you were shot in the arm - Right after you were hit? Scott: Yeah, I changed back. Derek: And when you were hit by his car, same thing, right? What's the common denominator? Scott: What the hell are you doing? Derek: It'll heal. Scott: It still hurt! Derek: And that's what keeps you human - Pain. Maybe you will survive. Kate: Hey. Listen, you know I feel totally horrible about my behavior the other night, right? Allison: Oh, totally forgotten. Kate: No, not forgotten by me. Come on. Call me a "horrid bitch" or something. Allison: You were just - being protective. Kate: I was being a protective horrid bitch - Who is - giving you your birthday present early so you'll forgive her. Forgiven? Allison: Completely. I love it! Kate: It's a family heirloom. And you know me - I hate and loathe all sentimental crap, but that - Well, look at the symbol in the middle of the pendant. See that? Allison: Yeah. Kate: You ever wanna learn a little something about your family - Look it up. Allison: You're gonna make me work for it - Kate: Some mysteries - Are worth the effort. Allison: Thanks. Kate: Bye. Scott: Is today your birthday? Allison: No, no. Uh, no. I mean, yes. Please don't tell anybody. I don't even know how Lydia found out. Scott: Why wouldn't you tell me? Allison: Because I don't want people to know. Because - I'm 17. Scott: You're 17? Allison: That's the reaction I'm trying to avoid. Scott: Why? I mean, I - I totally get it. Uh, you had to repeat a year because of all the moving around, right? What was that for? Allison: For - literally being the first person to ever make the correct assumption. Everybody's always like, "What - Did you get held back?" "Did you ride the short bus?" Uh, "Did you have a baby?" Scott: That's what you hear on your birthday? Allison: Oh, yeah. All day long. Scott: Then - What if we got out of here? Allison: Skip class? Scott: Yeah, the whole day. Allison: Well, you're asking someone who's never skipped one class to bail out the entire day, and I don't - Scott: No, see, that's perfect. If you get caught, then they'll go easy on you. Allison: Well, what if you get caught? Scott: Let's - try not to think about that. Harris: Just a friendly reminder - Parent/teacher conferences are tonight. Students below a "C" average are required to attend. I won't name you, because the shame and self - disgust should be more than enough punishment. Has anyone seen Scott McCall? Harris: Hey, Jackson. If you need to leave early for any reason, you let me know. Harris: Everyone, start reading Chapter Nine. Mr. Stilinski. Try putting the highlighter down between paragraphs. It's chemistry, not a coloring book. Stiles: Hey, Danny. Can I ask you a question? Danny: No. Stiles: Well, I'm going to anyway. Um, did Lydia show up in your homeroom today? Danny: No. Stiles: Can I ask you another question? Danny: Answer's still no. Stiles: Does anyone know what happened to her and Jackson last night? Danny: He wouldn't - tell me. Stiles: But he's your best friend. One more question. Danny: What? Stiles: Do you find me attractive? Allison: Uh, maybe this is a bad idea. And my dad would kill me if he found out. Scott: Do you always follow your dad's rules? Allison: Not lately. Scott: Good. Start the car. Allison: Where are we going? Scott: Uh, I don't know. Somewhere. Anywhere. Allison: Nowhere I can be seen, right? 'Cause I could get detention. Scott: Please start the car. Allison: Or suspended. Scott: Allison, car, start, now. Jackson: I - I don't know where Scott is. Derek: I'm not here for Scott. I'm here for you. Jackson: Wh - wh - why me? I - I didn't do anything. Derek: No, but you saw something, didn't you? Jackson: No, I didn't - I didn't see anything. Derek: What was it, hmm? An animal? A mountain lion? Jackson: I didn't see anything. I swear. I'm - I'm not lying. Derek: Then calm down and say it again. Jackson: Say what? That I'm not lying? Derek: Tell me that you didn't see anything. Slowly. Jackson: I didn't - see anything. I'm not lying. Derek: One more thing. You should really get that checked out. Scott: What? Stiles: Finally! Have you been getting any of my texts? Scott: Yeah, like all 9 million of them. Stiles: Do you have any idea what's going on? Lydia is totally M.I.A., Jackson looks like he's got a time bomb inserted into his face, another random guy's dead, and you have to do something about it. Scott: Like what? Stiles: Something. Scott: Okay, I'll deal with it later. Left, left, left, left, left. Allison: Sorry, sorry. I just totally soccer - mom'd you. I'm sorry. Scott: That's all right. I'll just pick up my masculinity on the way back. Scott: You're still not okay with this, are you? Allison: I just feel like I need an alibi. Scott: Well, if we get caught, I'll just say it was my fault. Allison: You don't need to take the blame for me. It was my choice too. Scott: Oh, good! 'Cause if we get caught, I'm totally gonna blame you. Allison: Oh, really? Scott: Hell yeah! And they'd believe me. You know, totally hot girl asks you to skip the day with her. Like I'm gonna say no. Allison: So you throw me under the bus, just like that? Scott: Yeah. Throw, push, shove - Allison: And what if I decide to drag you down with me? Scott: I'd just yell for help. Allison: Well, what if I did this? Scott: I'd scream for help. Allison: And if I did this? Scott: I'd beg for mercy. Lydia's Mom: Honey, there's a Stiles here to see you. Lydia: What the hell is a "Stiles"? Lydia's Mom: She took a little something to ease her nerves. You can - you can go in. Stiles: Thanks. Lydia: What are you doing here? Stiles: I was just making sure you were okay. Lydia: Why? Stiles: Because I was worried about you today. How are you feeling? Lydia: I feel - Fantastic. Stiles: Oh. What - I bet you can't say, uh, "I saw Suzy sittin' in a shoeshine shop" ten times fast. Lydia: I saw Shuzy - I shaw - I saw - Stiles: What? Lydia, what did you see? Lydia: Something. Stiles: Something like - Like a mountain lion? Lydia: A mountain lion. Stiles: Are you sure you saw a mountain lion, or are you just saying that because that's what the police told you? Lydia: A mountain lion. Stiles: What's this? Lydia: A mountain lion. Stiles: Okay. You're so drunk. Oh - [SCENE_BREAK] Scott: Oh! You okay? Allison: Yeah. I think you just earned your masculinity back. Scott: What are you doing? Allison: I'm just texting Lydia "thank you" for the birthday stuff. Scott: No. If mine's off, yours is too. Allison: So we're disconnecting from the world? Scott: You can handle that for one day, right? Allison: Uh, just one text, and then I will be all yours, okay? Okay. Stiles: Well, I'm gonna - go. Uh, I'll let you get back to the whole post - traumatic stress thing. Lydia: Mm. Stay. Stiles: M - me? Stay? You want me to stay? Lydia: Yes, please. Stay. Please. Jackson. Stiles: And - we're done here. You want me to get that? It's a text. I don't know how to - Old Hunter: He wants us to wait. Kate: So I've been reminded - To death. Young Hunter: And that means we're not allowed to kill him. Kate: But it doesn't mean we can't say hello. Young Hunter: No one home. Kate: Oh, he's here. He's just not feeling particularly hospitable. Young Hunter: Maybe he's out burying a bone in the backyard. Kate: Really? A dog joke? We're going there, and that's the best you got? If you wanna provoke him, say something like, "Too bad your sister 'bit it' before she had her first litter." Too bad she howled like a bitch when we cut her in half! Kate: This one grew up in all the right places. I don't know whether to kill it or - lick it. Stiles: Hey, it's me again. Look, I found something, and I don't know what to do, okay? So if you could turn your phone on right now, that'd be great. Or else I'll kill you. Do you understand me? I'm gonna kill you. And I'm too upset to come up with a witty description about how exactly I'm gonna kill you, but I'm just gonna do it, okay? I'm gonna-ugh! Goodbye. God. Sheriff: Please tell me I'm gonna hear good news at this parent/teacher thing tonight. Stiles: Depends on how you define "good news." Sheriff: I define it as you getting straight A's with no behavioral issues. Stiles: You might wanna rethink that definition. Sheriff: 'Nuff said. Stiles: Come on, Scott. Where the hell are you? Kate: 900,000 volts. You never were good with electricity, were you? Or fire. Which is why I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. And, well, maybe we can help each other out. Yes, your sister was severed into pieces and used as bait to try to catch you. Unpleasant, and frankly, a little too Texas chainsaw massacre for my taste, but quite true. Now, here's the part that might really kick you in your new balls - We didn't kill her. You think I'm lying? Derek: Wouldn't be the first time. Kate: Tsk, sweetie - Well - Why don't you just listen to my heart and tell me if I am. Okay? We - didn't - kill - your - sister. Do you hear that? There's no blips or upticks. Just the steady beat of the cold, hard truth. Found bite marks on your sister's body, Derek. What do you think did that? A mountain lion? Why aren't we helping each other out? You might as well admit what you've been guessing all along, which is - The Alpha killed your sister. And all you have to do is tell us who he is, and we'll take care of it for you. Problem solved, everybody goes home happy. Unless - You don't know who he is either. Wow. Guess who just became totally useless? Deaton: Hey, Scott, it's me again. I'm just calling to make sure that everything's okay. You were supposed to be here an hour ago. Maybe you forgot. Well, whatever it is, just give me a call and let me know that everything's okay. All right. Thanks. Sheriff Stilinski. Sheriff: Listen, I hate to bother you, but, uh, I'm having a bitch of a time getting a consensus on what this is we're dealing with. Deaton: I'm really flattered you've come to me for help, but, like I said before, I'm no expert. Sheriff: But you were pretty certain the other day about our attacker being a mountain lion. Deaton: That's right. Sheriff: I wanna show you something. We got a little lucky here. Uh, the video store didn't have any cameras, but a security camera that was watching another parking lot happened to grab a few frames. Take a look at our mountain lion. Here's another. Deaton: It's interesting. Sheriff: Actually, uh, this is the interesting one. Deaton: I see what you mean. Sheriff: I've never seen a mountain lion do that. Deaton: Can't say I have either. You've got a problem here. Sheriff: My first instinct was it was a bear, but bears don't walk on two legs. Deaton: No, they drop to all fours. Look, like I said, you really need an expert here. Sheriff: Yeah, yeah, but - Could this still be a mountain lion? Deaton: I'm sorry. I've got a sick Doberman that needs my attention. Sheriff: No other ideas? Deaton: I'm sorry. Really, I wish I could help you, but I've got a sick - Sheriff: Yeah. Dog. I heard you. Thanks for humoring me again. Allison: So being completely honest, this was - kind of a perfect birthday. Scott: Good. I'd know if you were lying anyway. Allison: Oh, really - Scott: You have a tell. You touch your eyebrow right here. Allison: Let's see if you can figure out if I'm lying now. I wish that my parents weren't coming home from the teacher conferences so - I could spend the rest of the day with you. Scott: The rest of the day? Allison: Well - the rest of the night. Scott: With me? Oh, God. The parent/teacher conferences. I'm supposed to be there. Ugh, I'm below "C" on, like, everything. Allison: Well, they're going on now. Right now. Harris: Jackson's a highly motivated student. In fact, I'd describe him as "unusually driven." Mr. Whittemore: Yeah, we were hoping he might ease up on himself a little. He's always been real hard on himself. It's just, you know, something we assumed was an effect of him being adopted. Harris: I think I understand. He's never met his biological parents. Mr. Whittemore: Yeah, that's right. It's the need to please, the overachieving, the desire to make someone proud - Someone he's never even met. Harris: Something certainly seems to have recalibrated his desire for achievement several notches higher. Not to be too blunt about it, but he seems almost obsessed. Lydia's teacher: Let me tell you, there's plenty to say about Lydia. Lydia's Dad: Did I not predict this? Lydia's Mom: Here we go. Total nuclear meltdown as usual. Lydia's Dad: What is it? Is it her grades, concentration issues, erratic behavior? Lydia's Mom: I'm not the one who told her she had to choose who she wants to live with, as if that wouldn't warp a 16 - year - old girl. Lydia's Dad: Just tell us what the problem is. Lydia's teacher: I wasn't aware that there was a problem. Academically, Lydia's one of the finest students I've ever had. Her A.P. classes push her GPA above a 5.0. I'd actually like to have her I.Q. tested. And socially, she displays outstanding leadership qualities. I mean, she's a real leader. Coach: Stiles, that's right. I thought "Stiles" was his last name. Sheriff: His last name is "Stilinski." Coach: You named your kid "Stiles Stilinski"? Sheriff: No, that's just what he likes to be called. Coach: Oh. Well, I like to be called "cupcake" - What is his first name? Wow, that's a form of child abuse. I don't - I don't even know how to pronounce that. Sheriff: It was his mother's father's name. Coach: Wow. You must really love your wife. Sheriff: Yeah, I did. Coach: Well, this just became incredibly awkward. Sheriff: Hey, what do you say we get to the conference part of this conference, cupcake? Coach: I like your thinking. So, Stiles. Great kid. Zero ability to focus. Super smart. Never takes advantage of his talents. Sheriff: How do you mean? Coach: Well, for his final question on his midterm exam, he detailed the entire history of the male circumcision. Sheriff: Well, I mean, it does have - historical significance, right? I mean - Coach: I teach economics. Sheriff: Ah, crap. Melissa: Where the hell are you? Get to the school now. Harris: How about we get started? Melissa: Sure. Harris: Lately Scott's mind has been somewhere else, as has his body. Personally, I think it may have something to do with his home situation. Melissa: Oh, well, personally, I'm not sure what you mean by "home situation." Harris: Uh, specifically the lack of an authority figure. Melissa: Yeah, I'm the authority figure, so - Harris: Sorry. Allow me to clarify. I mean the lack of a male authority figure. Melissa: Oh. Well, trust me, we're much better off without him in the picture. Harris: Well, does Scott feel the same way? Melissa: Yes. I think so. I hope so. Harris: But he's going through some difficult changes. He just needs a - little extra attention, a guiding hand through this crucial stage of his development. Allison's teacher: Allison Argent. An incredibly sweet girl. And quick to adjust, despite all the moving around. Chris: We know it's hard on her, but, uh, it's a necessary evil. Allison's teacher: Necessary or not, I'd be prepared for some - How do I put this? Chris: Rebelliousness? Victoria: We appreciate the concern, but we have a great relationship with our daughter. Very open and honest. Allison's teacher: I'm happy to hear that. And let her know that I hope she's feeling better. Chris: Oh, she wasn't in class? Allison's teacher: Oh, she wasn't in school. I checked with the office. Melissa: Scott, you need to call me right now. Scott: Oh, my God. Allison: Your mom? Melissa: Yeah, I'm dead. Ugh. Chris: Allison, answering your cell phone will make discussing the terms of your grounding much easier. Well, call me back before your punishment reaches biblical proportions. Victoria: Kate hasn't heard from her either. Chris: She doesn't do this. Melissa: Excuse me, you're not Allison's parents, are you? I'm Scott's mom, and I hate to say it, but he's not answering his phone either. Chris: You're his mother? Melissa: Funny how you say that like it's an accusation. Chris: Well, I wouldn't claim it as a source of pride, since he basically kidnapped my daughter today. Melissa: How do we know skipping school wasn't your daughter's idea? Chris: My daughter - is right there. Let's go. Melissa: Where exactly have you been? Scott: Nowhere, mom. Melissa: Nowhere, meaning not at school. Scott: Kinda. Allison: It's not his fault. It's my birthday, and we were - Chris: Allison. In the car. Scott: Allison! Are you okay? Sheriff: Move! Move! I'm okay.

Lydia and Jackson witness a werewolf attack at the video store. Stiles is worried for his father, the sheriff. Allison's aunt gives Allison a family heirloom and encourages her to use it to learn more about the family history. Scott and Allison play hooky on her birthday. Derek confronts Jackson about what he saw the night before. Derek gets a surprise visit. At the parent teacher conference, Scott's mom and Allison's father find out they both skipped school that day. After the parent teacher conference, someone pulls a gun and uses it.

fd_Once_Upon_A_Time_03x21

fd_Once_Upon_A_Time_03x21_0

SCENE: Boston, Land Without Magic. Past, Eighteen years ago. At Happy Cottage Children's Home, a little girl is handed a stuffed Mickey Mouse toy by her new adoptive parents. She waves good-bye to the other children before going into the couple's car to go to her new home. The woman who runs the home then begins to usher the children back inside. [SCENE_BREAK] Woman: All right, everyone. Back inside. It's almost dinnertime. (Last to leave is an eleven-year-old Emma, who continues to stare longingly as the car drives away.) Don't worry, you'll find a home too, Emma. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Present day. At the Blanchard Apartment, Emma is lost in thought as Mary Margaret and David spend time with their infant son. [SCENE_BREAK] David: He's a handsome boy. Mary Margaret: (Chuckles.) Stop, you're going to spoil him. David: Emma, you okay? Emma: What? Oh, yeah, of course. You guys finally gonna tell me the name of my little brother? Or should I just keep on calling him "Hey there"? David: Well, the thing is, there's this tradition. Back in the Enchanted Forest, whenever a new royal is born, you usually announce the name at a coronation ceremony. Mary Margaret: We would have done it with you if we could have. Emma: You're not gonna hold him out in front to the clock tower and present him like Lion King, are you? David: (Laughs.) Of course not. In fact, we've decided to forego all pomp and circumstance for a nice potluck at Granny's. Mary Margaret: The important thing is to mark the occasion. To remind ourselves that after all we've been through, we're still together. As a family. (Henry enters, carrying a newspaper ad for an apartment.) Henry: Hey, check it out. I think I found us a place. Emma: (Surprised and confused.) You're looking for apartments? Henry: What do you think? (He hands her the paper.) Mary Margaret: Yeah, Emma. What do you think? Emma: (Still surprised, but then smiles.) I think your grandparents can't decide what to name your uncle, and they are using a fairy-tale tradition to try and buy themselves some time. (Henry chuckles.) [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Present day. In the Mills House, Regina and Robin Hood enjoy a drink together. [SCENE_BREAK] Robin: To the return of your heart. (They clink glasses.) So, how does it feel? Regina: Stronger than ever. (They kiss. Regina pauses.) Robin: What is it? Regina: I just never thought I'd have this. (She smiles joyfully.) Robin: After I lost my wife, I felt like that for a long time. Her death was my fault. Regina: I'm sorry. Robin: I would have walked through hell to be with my Marian again. But, when I finally admitted to myself that she was gone and that she was never coming back, I had to let that guilt go. Regina: My first love Daniel was killed because of me. Because he loved me. Robin: And that's why you never wanted to open yourself up again. Regina: Tinker Bell told me it was possible. I could love again. She led me to this tavern, to a man who she said I was destined to be with. I never saw his face. But... (She picks up his arm, looking at his lion tattoo.) I did see his tattoo. Robin: It was me? Regina: Yes. I was just too scared to approach you. Robin: Well, maybe things work out when they're supposed to. Maybe it's all about timing. (They kiss.) [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Present day. At Mr. Gold Pawnbroker&Antiquities Dealer, Mr. Gold takes the Dark One's Dagger, places it in a wooden box, and, using magic seals the box closed. Belle enters, carrying the counterfeit dagger. [SCENE_BREAK] Belle: Okay, this-- this is too much power to keep with me. Mr. Gold: No, I don't want it, Belle. The point was I trust you. Belle: I know. Well, then, is there somewhere I can store it safely? Back in our land, in your castle, you had that vault? The one with no doors? Mr. Gold: That was for only the most dangerous and unstable magic, that which even I could not comprehend. Belle: And this doesn't qualify? Mr. Gold: No. You see, I understand this all too well. I left that vault and all its dangers behind. But this dagger is not dangerous because, as I said, I trust you. Let's discuss something a bit more pleasant. Our wedding. Belle: (Smiles.) Yes. Oh, and I told my father the good news, and he gave us his blessing. Mr. Gold: The man who kidnapped you in order to keep us apart. Belle: Well, I've forgiven him, and he's forgiven you. He knows you're a changed man. I mean, everyone does. Especially me. (They kiss.) [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Present day. At Granny's Diner, the residents of Storybrooke celebrate Zelena's defeat. [SCENE_BREAK] Leroy: Ding dong! Granny: So she's really... Leroy: Oh yeah. That witch is done. That's a good thing, because if that Sleeping Beauty had been a monkey a day longer, she would've had a monkey baby. Wouldn't want to change those diapers! (The scene shifts to elsewhere in the diner, where Henry is reading from his storybook to his uncle, David, Mary Margaret, and Ruby.) Henry: And that's when the bandit leaped on top of the carriage and stole the Prince's jewels. As the Prince chased the thief on horseback through the treacherous forest. (Emma and Hook enter.) Emma: Really? I can't hear the kid's name yet, but I have to hear this story again? David: Well, my son should know where he comes from. Emma: Are you sure you want the first thing he knows to be that his parents fell in love during an armed robbery? Mary Margaret: I wasn't armed! Ruby: Except with a rock. David: I still have the scar. Mary Margaret: Which healed. (To her son.) But that's just how we met. It's not how we fell in love. David: Yeah, that was a bit more complicated. (He turns the page, revealing an illustration of himself fighting off Black Knights.) See? There were Black Knights, and I saved your mother's life. Mary Margaret: Oh. (She turns to the next page, showing an illustration of herself at the Troll Bridge transforming the trolls into cockroaches.) And the attack on the Troll Bridge when I saved his. David: (Continues turning the pages to one illustrating Snow White jokingly trying on the green peridot ring.) But it wasn't until I saw my mother's ring on her finger that I knew in my heart there was no other woman I would ever love. Mary Margaret: You should've told me then. We would have saved so much time. David: Well, could I? I had to get to my wedding. Hook: Sorry, did I miss something? You were previously betrothed, mate? Ruby: To Kathryn. (She gestures across the diner to where Kathryn is chatting with Granny.) Though, she was Princess Abigail back then. Hook: King Midas' daughter? The man who can turn anything into gold? Why would you leave that opportunity? Mary Margaret: Hey! David: Well, what can I say, my heart was destined for another. Ruby: You just had to find her first. (Laughs.) She ran away and was living on a farm. Mary Margaret: Oh, that sounded like such a peaceful life at the time. Leave everyone and everything behind. Hook: Like mother, like daughter. Emma: Hook. Henry: What is he talking about?(Emma looks startled and confused on how to respond. Picking up on his daughter's situation, David reaches for the storybook and turns a page.) David: Uh, should we read more stories? (Before he can resume, Regina and Robin enter.) Regina: Actually, I'd like to know what the pirate is talking about. Emma: It's nothing. Regina: You're not planning on going back to New York, are you? Henry: Why would we go back to New York? Regina: You're not. Right, Ms. Swan? Emma: Actually, it's complicated. Henry: Why would we leave? This is our home. Emma: Henry, this isn't the time or place. Regina: I think it is. Emma: No, it's not. (She exits the diner.) Hook: I'll talk to her. Henry: Wait, take this. It might help her remember where she belongs. (He hands Hook the storybook. Hook exits the diner.) David: It's gonna be all right. She's just stubborn like her mo--(Stops himself, realizing what he is about to say.) Like all of our family. Henry: (Notices something outside the window.) Uh, Grandpa? David: Hmm? Henry: Look. (He points outside the window to a strange stream of yellow light.) What is that? (Mr. Gold and Belle enter.) Mr. Gold: That is a problem. That light is from Zelena's time portal. It's open. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Present day. Belle, David, Mr. Gold, Regina, and Robin enter the Storybrooke Sheriff Department to find Zelena's cell empty. [SCENE_BREAK] David: Zelena-she's gone. Regina: No. She was here when I left her. Belle: But if she escaped, that would explain the time portal. Regina: Impossible. Without her pendant, she's powerless. How could she have escaped, let alone open a time portal without magic? (She eyes Mr. Gold.) Unless you did something to her. (All eyes in the room turn to Mr. Gold.) Mr. Gold: Well, I'm sorry to disappoint, but no. Even if I wanted to, Belle has my dagger. She would certainly curb any homicidal tendencies. Belle: It's true. David: Well, if she escaped, let's find out how. (He begins to check the security cameras.) Mr. Gold: (Quietly.) Wonderful. (The footage comes onto the monitor, showing Zelena sitting in her cell. On the other side of the room, Mr. Gold magically waves his hand, causing the screen to go to static.) Regina: What's that? What just happened? David: Yeah, we could use an upgrade. Stupid Betamax. (The footage returns to Zelena.) Here we go. (Everyone watches as the footage shows Zelena using magic to turn herself into a porcelain statue, which promptly breaks and turns into powder. Regina's jaw drops.) Mr. Gold: Well, it seems her great escape was of a more permanent nature. I won't ask for an apology. Regina: She must've had just enough residual magic to do herself in. (In realization.) And when she did, when she was gone, the magic in her pendant had no tether. It was set free. Her last wish fulfilled. Robin: So how do we unfulfill it? Mr. Gold: Excellent question. But until we figure it out, no one should go near it. A trip to the past can have catastrophic repercussions. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Present day. Emma sits by a pond as David attempts to call her. She ignores it. Hook enters. [SCENE_BREAK] Hook: You're making a mistake. Emma: I don't want to talk to you about this. Hook: Don't listen to me, listen to your son. (He takes the storybook from his satchel and hands it to Emma.) He thought this might remind you of what you're leaving behind--your family. Emma: Henry is my family and I am taking him where he is safe. Hook: No, Swan. The safety-first nonsense is just that. You defeated the bloody Wicked Witch. You defeated Pan. You broke the curse. And you keep running. What are you looking for? Emma: (Quietly.) Home. Hook: And that's in New York? That wasn't real. Emma: The last year was. Hook: They were false memories. It was based on magical nonsense. Emma: Now we have our memories back. Now we can make it real. Hook: Why can't you do that here with your entire family? Emma: (Grabs the storybook from him.) Because of this. I don't see my family here. I see... fairy tales. I see stories of princes and princesses. It-It's not me. I was never a part of any of this. Hook: Then what are you a part of, Swan? Emma: Besides being with Henry, I don't think I've ever been a part of anything. Hook: You could be. Emma: Look, when I was a kid, I ran away. It's just what I did. But the first time I did it, I had the same exact thought. I wondered, "What if I'm making a mistake? What if I miss this place?" Hook: Did you? Emma: Not the first time. Not any time. Hook: So you just keep running. Emma: I learned something a long time ago, Hook. Home is the place when you leave, you just miss it. so, yeah, I'm gonna keep running until I feel that. Hook: So you're just gonna leave your parents, then. Do you even care about them, or anyone in this town? Emma: Of course I care. I just have to do what's right for me and Henry and--(She stops herself when she sees Zelena's time portal across town.) What the hell is that? Hook: I have no idea. Emma: I'm checking this out. (She stands up and begins to run off.) Hook: Swan, wait! (He picks up the storybook and gives chase after Emma. The scene then transitions to in front of the warehouse the spell is coming from.) Whatever's going on in there, it can't be good. Emma: It's Zelena's time portal. David left a message. Somehow she died and triggered it. (She begins to open the door, but Hook grabs her arm and stops her.) Hook: Wait! Let's get out of here. Emma: Not until we find a way to close it. Hook: You got your magic back? Emma: No. Hook: Well then, we're not bloody well messing with any of this! Let's go! (Just as David attempts to call Emma back, the doors swing open and force Emma and Hook toward it. Hook manages to anchor his hook in the ground to keep himself from falling through as he holds on to Emma's hand.) Hold on! Emma: (Screaming.) I can't! (Her grip slips and she falls through the portal.) Hook: (Sighs.) One of these days, I'm gonna stop chasing this woman. (He goes through the portal just as it is about to close.) [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Enchanted Forest. Past. Emma and Hook land on the other side of the time portal. [SCENE_BREAK] Emma: (Groans.) No. No. Hook: Appears we're back in the Enchanted Forest. Emma: Yeah, I got that. Hook: The only question is when? (Emma gets up noticing something) Swan? Emma: I've got a pretty good idea. (Pinned to a tree there's a poster reading WANTED. Snow White. For crimes against the Queen. Murder. Treason. Treachery.") Hook: I suppose we're lucky we wound up in this time. We could've appeared in the middle of the Ogre Wars or smack dab in the belly of a whale. (Looking down he notices Emma reading the book.) Why are you reading that now? Emma: Cause when we were falling through, I was thinking about Henry and the story we were all reading at Granny's. Hook: You think that time portals work like any other sort? They take you back to where you're thinking of? Emma: Not where. When. Hook: Excellent deduction. Alas, it appears they share another quality (picking up his bag) They don't stay open for the return trip. Emma: Nope. We're trapped in the past. I should have left Storybrooke the instant we defeated Zelena. This is exactly the kind of thing that does not happen in New York. Hook: On the bright side real estate's much more reasonable here. Emma: Don't. Hook: I understand your frustration. But we've been in dire straits before. There's no need to be antsy. We have our wits. We just have to focus on being constructive. (looking around) So, any ideas how to go back? Emma: How would I know how to get back to the future? Who do I look like? Marty McFly? Hook: Marty Mc - who? Emma: The kid with the lightning and the DeLorean and they went back in time and then he - Hook: (interrupting) Is he some sort of wizard? Emma: No, Marty McFly is not a wizard. He's - Maybe a wizard is exactly what we need. We could find Rumplestiltskin. (In the distance hoofbeats of approaching horses can be heard) Hook: Black knights. (Gently, he pushes Emma out of sight. They hide behind a tree.) Black Knights: (riding past Hook and Emma) Hyah. Hyah. (pushing villagers around) Get in line. Get in line. (The Evil Queen descends from her carriage.) The Evil Queen: Listen to me very carefully. Whatever squalor and despair your pathetic little lives have been able to tolerate until this point is nothing compared to the pain and misery I can inflict if I leave here unhappy. Emma: That's Regina. Hook: Not Regina, love. The Evil Queen. The Evil Queen: You will help me. Emma: She's even worse without the sensible pantsuits. Geppetto: Please, Your Majesty. We're a peaceful village. What do you want from us? Emma: That's Marco. The Evil Queen: Justice. If I find out, anyone in this village has helped the bandit Snow White they will suffer dearly. Here's what helping Snow White looks like. (gestures to her guards. One guard removes a sackcloth hood from a prisoner's head.) Prisoner: Help me! She's gonna kill me. The Evil Queen: Who wants to be next? Prisoner: Please. (The Evil Queen laughs. Emma moves in order to interfere. Hook stops her.) Hook: Wait. What are you doing? Emma: I'm helping that woman. She's just an innocent - Hook: No, Swan. When Belle figured out Zelena wanted to change the past she warned us it was dangerous. Messing with events could do untold damage to all of us. Emma: I'm supposed to let her rot or die? Hook: Whatever her fate we can't interfere. Not, if we want a chance at getting back to the world we know. Emma: We need to find Rumple. The sooner we get out of here, the better. Hook: Aye. Agreed. (Emma is about to leave when Hook stops her once again.) There's one thing we need to do first. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest Past. Hook is waiting for Emma to get dressed. [SCENE_BREAK] Hook: Come on, Swan, let's get a look. (Emma steps out) Oh, well, that's much better. Emma: Is this really necessary? Hook: What would you have done if Regina had spotted you back there? Emma: My guess? Run. Hook: And even if we had, she'd seen you. She might remember you when you first arrive in Storybrooke. Emma: She's gonna remember a glimpse of a face 30 years from now? Hook: The point is to minimize you making a lasting impression. Sadly, red leather jackets don't come into vogue here. Ever. Emma: (shifting uncomfortably) Fine. The only lasting impression I'm concerned about right now, is what this corset is making on my spleen. Hook: Your discomfort is a cross I'm willing to bear. Nothing compared to what might happen if we affect the timeline which means proceeding with all caution (He pulls Emma's hood up) You're not from a world of magic. I am. Even the smallest of changes could have catastrophic consequences. Things must happen as they always did. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Beside the road Snow White tears a Wanted poster showing herself from a tree and begins to cut it with an axe. A carriage approaches. Charming and Princess Abigail ride inside the carriage. [SCENE_BREAK] Prince Charming: What do you think of the view, my dear? Abigail: (bored) I've seen better. This is taking forever. I told you the Troll Road would have been quicker. (The carriage rumples over the bumpy road) And far less bumpy. (Prince Charming takes up his satchel.) Are you even listening to me? Prince Charming: Yes, of course, I am. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Hook and Emma walk together. Again, the sounds of a approaching carriage can be heard. [SCENE_BREAK] Hook: (taking Emma by the arm) It could be the Queen again. (Emma and Hook hide beside the road. A white carriage passes them.) Knight 1: (bringing the horses to a halt) Whoa. Whoa. (Inside the carriage Abigail turns to see what has happened) Abigail: Now what? (Prince Charming descends the carriage. He lefts his satchel behind.) Knight 2: Milord. Prince Charming: (to Abigail) Worry not. It's but a fallen tree. Emma: (watching) Is that-? Hook: Your father. We should go. (Looking up Emma recognizes Snow White huddled up against a tree. Looking back and forth between Snow White and Prince Charming Emma smiles. Crouching down again Emma accidentally breaks a twig. Startled by the noise Snow White loses her balance and falls down.) Prince Charming: (examining the tree) Look at these markings. This tree didn't fall. It's been cut. It's an ambush. (draws his sword) Knight 2: We need to get this log moved. Now. (Briefly Snow White watches the knights and then decides to flee. Prince Charming returns to Abigail. He's relieved to find his satchel right where he left it.) Abigail: You almost gave me a heart attack. Prince Charming: The tree was cut. It was planned. Someone wanted to rob us. Abigail: Who would dare attack a royal carriage? Prince Charming: (briefly he looks around searching) I have no idea. (Prince Charming seats himself again) But, now, you can relax. We scared off the bandit. We'll never have to see them again. (He closes the door) Knight 1: Hyah. (Hook and Emma step out on the road again.) Emma: You know that thing about small changes having consequences? (Hook grunts affirmative. Quizzically, he turns around to face Emma) What about big changes? Hook: Why? What did we do? Emma: That bandit was Snow White. This was the moment my parents first met. Hook: And because of us, now they didn't. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. In the distance looms King Midas' Golden Castle. [SCENE_BREAK] Knight 1: (bringing the horses a halt) Whoa. Abigail: (to Prince Charming) There it is. Our new home. Prince Charming: It's so gold. Abigail: After a time you'll stop noticing. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. A harbor tavern. Snow White quietly talks to Black Beard. [SCENE_BREAK] Black Beard: Well? Snow White: I need to get far away from here. As soon as possible. And I need my destination secret. (hands him a pouch) Black Beard: (weighing the pouch in one hand) Then you talking to the right captain. However, turning a blind eye will cost double. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Hook and Emma stand on a hill looking over a valley. In the distance ahead of them the Dark Castle looms. [SCENE_BREAK] Hook: Look ahead, Swan. The Dark One's castle. Emma: A little more imposing than the pawnshop. So, what do we do now? Knock on the door and introduce ourselves? Hey. We're from the future. Hook: Might be best if I stay back. The Dark One and I have a rather complicated past. I'd wager he want to kill me on sight. Rumplestiltskin: Oh, I'll take that bet. (Turning around startled Emma and Hook face Rumplestiltskin. He giggles. Emma gasps.) I can't tell you how long I've been looking forward to this. Oops. I suppose I just did. (Twisting his hand he magically he strangles Hook.) Hook: (strained voice) Swan. Emma: Stop! (Using the other hand Rumplestiltskin flings Emma aside.) Rumplesttiltskin: I don't know who you are, dearie, but why don't you run off and let me enjoy my killing in peace. Emma: He's not gonna hurt you. You have to listen to me. Rumplestiltskin: And why would I listen to you? Emma: Because if you don't you'll never see your son again. (Rumplestiltskin lets go off Hook. Groaning Hook falls to the ground. To Emma) What do you know of my son? Emma: His name is Baelfire. You're planning to enact a curse in hopes of reuniting with him. Rumplestiltskin: Who told you that? What are you? Some kind of witch? (Hook stands up.) Emma: No, I'm not a witch. I'm the one who breaks the curse so that you can find him. I'm the product of true love. Rumplestiltskin: That's speculation. Part of my plans. But I haven't done it. Emma: You will and you will succeed. Rumplestiltskin: If that's true, then that means- Hook: We're from the future, mate. Rumplestiltskin: But time travel hasn't been done, mate. Emma: Yeah, well. Someone's cracked that code. We need your help. Rumplestiltskin: Help? (giggles.) You need my help? Then answer me one question: Do I find my son? (Emma hesitates.) Answer me! Emma: Yes. Rumplestiltskin: Bae. I find Bae. How? Don't tell me. If I succeeded, I don't want anything in my head that might throw it off. Emma: It might already kind of be thrown off. Rumplestiltskin: You've changed things. What have you done? Emma: We interrupted my parents meeting. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Dark Castle. Rumplestiltskin, Emma and Hook enter. [SCENE_BREAK] Emma: Thank you, Mr. Gol-, (stops herself mid-sentence) Rumplestiltskin, for believing us. I know that time travel is hard to swallow. Rumplestiltskin: Not as hard as the other mystery you've presented me. (pointing at Hook) Why haven't I killed him? Hook: If it makes you feel any better, it wasn't for lack of efforts. Let's just say we bury the hatchet. Rumplestiltskin: Yes, but why not in your skull? (Belle enters.) Belle: Oh, Rumplestiltskin. You're back. Do you, uh, do you need anything? Emma: (turns around) Belle. Belle: (to Emma) So, do we know each other? Emma: Sorry, no. Mr. um- Rumple, the Dark One told me about you. Belle: Did he? Rumplestiltskin: No. (making a dismissive gesture) Go away and read a book or whatever it is you like to do. Come back and clean later. (turns away) Belle: You could ask nicely. Rumplestiltskin: I could also turn you into a into a toad. Emma: (muttering quietly) It's a miracle you two fall for each other. (Belle exits.) Rumplestiltskin: (laughing) What? I mean, first you tell me I let the pirate live. Now you're telling me I fall for the help. Hook: (interrupting) Yes. She has a strange sense of humor. But let's get back to her parents. Rumplestiltskin: Yes. Who are they? Emma: Snow White and Prince Charming. Rumplestiltskin: Prince Charming? Emma: His real name is Prince James. Rumplestiltskin: King George's son, whose wedding I've just arranged? Emma: See, that's what I'm trying to tell you. This marriage isn't supposed to happen because the ring he was going to give her gets stolen by Snow. Rumplestiltskin: It's quite a tale you're spinning. Emma: Here, let me show you. It's in the book. (Emma shows Rumple Henry's storybook. Turning the pages she notices they're blank.) Wait. What? Hook: It's all gone. Anything that was supposed to happen after they met has disappeared. Rumplestiltskin: The ripple effect. Once you change something in the past, anything from that point forward becomes uncertain. The future, as you can see, is a blank page. Emma: We need to get Snow to steal that ring, so we can put their story back on track. Rumplestiltskin: You're in luck. There's a ball tonight at King Midas' castle. Prince James will be there and so will his ring. Emma: So, we just need to get Snow there. Hook: How? We don't even know where she is. Rumplestiltskin: Allow me. (he walks over to a crystal ball. Rumplestiltskin waves his hand and the crystal ball shows Snow White sitting opposite of Black Beard.) Emma: There she is. Hook: She's with Black Beard. She's trying to secure passage on his ship. (As Snow White considers his claims Black Beard exits.) Rumplestiltskin: And, it appears failing. Emma: She can't escape the Queen without the money she's supposed to get for the ring. (to Rumplestiltskin) Can you help us? Rumplestiltskin: Help you? I can work on get your portal to the future open again. But getting your parents together? You made that mess, dearie. Only you know what you did. Now go, undo it. Hook: If she's looking for passage out of town I might know a ship's captain who might help us. Emma: Who? Hook: (smiles) Me. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. A harbor tavern. Hook watches Past Hook and his crew dice. [SCENE_BREAK] Hook: (drawing Emma's attention to his past self) There I am. Rather dashing, don't you think? Emma: Is this even a good idea? What about preserving the future? Hook: (watching) It'll be fine. Given what I'm drinking, if I remember anything, I'll simply blame the rum. Just make sure that I - he - remains occupied. Doesn't return to my ship. I'll take care of the rest. Emma: (sighs) Okay. (pulling back her hood; she unlaces her corset) Hook: Wait. What are you doing? Emma: Making sure he stays occupied. Shouldn't be difficult. You and I both know I'm his type. (standing up Emma's about to approach his past self when Hook speaks up again.) Hook: Swan, that man sitting there, (pauses) you don't know him. Just be careful. Emma: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're be jealous. (Hook exits. Emma approaches Past Hook.) What are you boys playing? [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. The Jolly Roger. William Smee chases rats. As Smee strikes out to kill one rat Hook blocks his stroke. [SCENE_BREAK] Smee: Captain. I wasn't expecting you back from the tavern so early. (The rat runs off.) Vermin. I'll get the bugger, sir. (Hook grabs Smee's arm holding him back) Hook: Let it be. (Smee gives Hook a aghast look) You'll understand someday, Smee. Smee: Is that a new vest? Hook: Of course not. Smee: Are you feeling alright, sir? You seem different. Hook: Maybe, that's because I'm used to my first mate asking me what his captain needs when he's on deck. Smee: (ready to obey) Of course. Sorry. Is there anything I can do for you, sir? Hook: (waves Smee closer and points out Snow White to him) I need to speak to that woman. Bring her on board. Do it quietly. (Hook enter's the captain's cabin.) [SCENE_BREAK] The Enchanted Forest. Past. A harbor tavern. Past Hook shares a drink with Emma. [SCENE_BREAK] Emma: I have a confession to make. Past Hook: Most women do. Emma: I want to know how you got the hook. You hear so many stories. (strokes his hook) Past Hook: Mhm. (leans a bit closer) You know who I am and here you haven't even told me your name. Emma: What fun would that be? Past Hook: Just two ships passing in the night, then? Emma: Passing closely, I hope. Past Hook: Speaking of ships: What do you say we leave this place and I'll show you mine. (standing up) Emma: (pulls him down) Wait. How about we have a few drink first? (Emma hands him his cup) [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Aboard the Jolly Roger. Snow White enters the captain's cabin. Hook awaits her. [SCENE_BREAK] Snow White: Who are you? Hook: It doesn't matter. I'm a captain and I can help you. Snow White: (sits down) So, what do you want? Hook: It's not what I want. It's what I can offer. I hear that you seek passage out of the Enchanted Forest. Snow White: That's true. But I haven't enough money. Hook: I don't give a damn about money. It's treasure I want. I think you can get it for me, (Hook shows Snow White a Wanted poster illustrating herself) Snow White. You are a thief, aren't you? [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. A harbor tavern. Past Hook shares another drink with Emma. [SCENE_BREAK] Past Hook: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're trying to get me drunk, which is usually my tactic. Emma: What's wrong, captain? Can't hold your rum? Past Hook: No, not only can I hold it (picks up the bottle) but I can carry it right out the door. What do you say we set sail? Come back with me for a nightcap. (Emma briefly hesitates) Or shall I find someone else? [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Aboard the Jolly Roger. The captain's cabin. [SCENE_BREAK] Snow White: So, if I procure this item for you, you'll grant me save passage on your ship? Hook: To any realm you wish. Snow White: Then, tell me, what I have to steal. Hook: A wedding ring. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Aboard the Jolly Roger. Emma accompanies Hook's past self. Emma tries to stall by pretending to stumble drunkenly against Past Hook. [SCENE_BREAK] Emma: Oh! I think I should rest for a moment. Past Hook: Oh, no need. No need. I've carried rum barrels heavier than you. (Past Hook lifts Emma up and walks to the captain's cabin. They laugh. Snow White walks past them.) Emma: Actually, I feel much better. Past Hook: Behold! The Rolly Joger! Smee: Captain. (Emma hops out of Past Hook's arms) H... How did you (stops himself mid-sentence.) I thought you were still below deck. (bewildered) And why does your vest keep changing? Emma: (to Past Hook) I seem to remember a nightcap was promised. Find one and I'll be waiting. (walks down the staircase to the captain's cabin) Smee: (to Past Hook) Captain, something's not right here. Past Hook: You're right. You're still here. I think you know what nightcap means. It means that we want our privacy. Smee: Of course. (exits) Past Hook: (whispering) Oh, yes. (climbs the staircase to the quarterdeck) Emma: (enters the captain's cabin below deck) What are you doing here? Hook: I could ask the same of you. I thought I told you to keep him occupied. Emma: I am. Hook: By taking him back to my ship? Emma: His ship. Hook: You know what I mean. Emma: I stalled as long as I could. I thought you'd be gone by now. I'll try to keep him above deck so you can get out of here. (Door opens. Hook ducks into the shadows) Emma: (turns around and smiles) Hey. Past Hook: Where may you be going? I do hope you're not having second thoughts. Emma: No. I just got tired of waiting. (They kiss. Emma giggles. Hook sneaks past keeping an eye on both of them) Past Hook: Apologies. A woman as beautiful as you deserves my full and prompt attention. (Prepares to lay her down on the table. Hook grabs his past self by the shoulder. As Past Hook turns around Hook quickly punches him in the face knocking him out.) Emma: (to Hook) Are you kidding me? How's that not gonna have consequences? Hook: He was asking for it. And like I said he'll blame the rum. Let's get out of here. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Midas' Golden Castle. Using his telescope Hook watches Snow White climbing the walls. [SCENE_BREAK] Hook: A predictable access of pomp and grandeur. Snow should have no trouble sneaking inside. Emma: What about us? We're supposed to just sit here and hope that she pulls it off? I don't like leaving things to chance. Rumplestiltskin: (magically appearing right beside them) You know, I feel exactly the same way, which is why I never do. (Magically he produces a piece of paper.) See? An invitation to the ball. Emma: So, you'll be inside to watch out for her? Rumplestiltskin: No. No. I'll be far too busy sorting out how to get you home. Hook: Well, who's the invitation for? Rumplestiltskin: Well, isn't it obvious? The two of you. Hook: So, when we're done inside, you can open our portal? Rumplestiltskin: There's a powerful wand which, uh, I came to possess. Anyway, legend says, it can recreate any magic that's ever been wielded. Now, with a little work, I can use it to recreate whatever portal brought you here. (He hands Hook the invitation.) Emma: Please do it quickly. We'll be in and out before you know it. I want to get the hell out of here. Rumplestiltskin: Uh, confidence. I like it. (Emma and Hook turn around to leave) Wait. Not like that. (Giggling he covers both Hook and Emma in red smoke. As the smoke dissolves Emma wears a red ball grown and Hook wears a suit.) The savior can't come this far and play not princess for a day. Emma: (doubtful) But, I'm not supposed to stick out. What if someone remembers me in the future? Rumplestiltskin: Because what you had before was such an intricate disguise? Now, speaking of which I've returned those stole rags. Luckily, before they were missed. I mean, it's a miracle the timeline hasn't imploded already. Amateurs. Allow me. (Magically he produces a mirror so that Emma and Hook can take look at themselves. Both have indistinct features) A glamour spell. This is how you shall appear to one and all. Now, run along and do everything you can to make sure Snow White gets that ring. Once they're back on track, everything else will be, too. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Golden Castle. The atrium. Hook and Emma are about to enter the ballroom. Hook hands their invitation to a valet. [SCENE_BREAK] Emma: Just when I thought the clothes here couldn't get any worse. Hook: You might not be able to move, Swan, but you cut quite the figure in that dress. (King Midas approaches them.) King Midas: Greetings. I'm King Midas, father of the bride. Who do I have the honor to welcome into my home? Hook: I'm (pauses) Prince (no name comes to his mind hence he sighs)- Emma: Charles. Prince Charles. And I'm Princess (pauses) Leia. (Hook bows. Emma curtsies.) King Midas: (bows) I'm honored to have you both. (to a valet standing beside him) Announce Prince Charles and Princess Leia. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Golden Castle. The ballroom. As they walk Emma quietly talks to Hook. [SCENE_BREAK] Emma: Mary Margaret and David are always going on about this ball and that ball - what's the big deal about these things? (Emma watches the dancers in amazement) Hook: (leans closer whispering) You were saying? Emma: What I'm supposed to do? Hook: (Smiling he takes her by the hand) Blend in. Emma: (allows herself to be led by Hook) Wait. Are you saying you know how to do whatever this is? Hook: It's called a waltz. There's only one rule: Pick a partner who knows what he's doing. (They dance) [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Snow White climbs the Golden Castle's walls. Jumping down the parapet she quickly sneaks to a door, opens it and enters the room. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Golden Castle. The ballroom. Dancing Hook gives Emma a smile. [SCENE_BREAK] Emma: Watch the mocking. I'm actually getting the hang of this. Hook: I'm not mocking you, Swan. I'm just thinking about what you said in Storybrooke, about not being a princess. Emma: Really? You get my first real dance and my first royal ball and all you can say is I told you so.? Hook: I believe what I'm trying to say, Your Highness, (he briefly bows) is that you appear to be a natural. Emma: (notices Prince Charming standing outside the dance floor) There's Charming. (Hook takes a quick look over his shoulder. Prince Charming talks to Abigail.) Prince Charming: (to Abigail) Would you care to dance? Abigail: My feet are killing me. If only I'd thought to wear my comfortable shoes. Prince Charming: Would you like to fetch them for you, my dear? Abigail: My hero. (Abigail walks away. Walking past Hook and Emma Prince Charming exits the room) [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Golden Castle. Elsewhere at the palace Snow White looks for the wedding ring. Unsuccessfully she scours a chest for the wedding ring. [SCENE_BREAK] Snow White: Where's that ring? (Snow White drops an empty casket to the floor. She looks around and turns to search another cupboard for the ring.) [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Golden Castle. The atrium. King Midas quietly talks to three pages. Magically the doors fling open. The Evil Queen enters. [SCENE_BREAK] King Midas: (turns around to face his new guest. Recognizing the Evil Queen he stiffens. Recovering King Midas bows deeply) What a pleasure, my Queen. I (pauses) thank you for honoring my daughter with your presence. The Evil Queen: And thank you for your generous hospitality. I hope you don't mind I brought some friends. (Black Knights enter the room) Emma: (dancing she watches the scene. Quietly to Hook.) Regina is here. Damn it. That definitely was not in the plan. Hook: (calm) Breathe, Swan. She's a guest. The king's head would vanish to another realm, if he didn't invite her. Emma: Yeah, good point. (looks around the room) Where's Charming? [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Golden Castle. Snow White searches the cupboard for the ring. Finally she's able to find Prince Charming 's satchel. [SCENE_BREAK] Snow White: (taking the ring out of the satchel) My ticket to freedom. (Door opens. Prince Charming enters.) Prince Charming: Who are you? (Snow White heads to the window.) Stop! Thief! (He launches himself on Snow White knocking her over. Surprised.) You're a girl. Snow White: Woman. (grabs the casket and hits him. Prince Charming groans.) Abigail: (enters) James, what is taking you so - (Abigail notices Snow White climbing out of the window. Snow White gives Abigail a smile.) You're... You're Snow White. (calling for guards) Snow White! Snow White! [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Golden Castle. The atrium. A knight approaches King Midas. [SCENE_BREAK] Golden Knight: Milord, Snow White was spotted in the castle. King Midas: The bandit Snow White? Here? Get her! (Watching Emma and Hook decide to leave the ballroom.) [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. The Golden Castle. Snow White climbs over the castle's parapet. Hook and Emma arrive just in time to watch her vanishing into darkness. [SCENE_BREAK] Emma: She did it. She must have stolen the ring. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. The Golden Castle. Groaning Prince Charming gets to his feet and walks up to the window. Outside Snow White mounts a horse. [SCENE_BREAK] Snow White: (spurs the horse on) Hyah. Hyah. Prince Charming: (shouting) You can't hide from me! Wherever you are I will find you! Emma: (smiles, to Hook) Mission accomplished. Now all we have to do-. (A Black Knight armed with a bow steps out on the parapet and pushes Emma roughly out of the way. The archer takes aim. Hook catches Emma.) Black Knight: You'll find her sooner than you think, milord. (Emma launches on him as the archer looses off the arrow. The knight loses his balance. As Snow White gallops off the arrow hits a tree trunk behind her. Getting back to her feet Emma notices Charming 's wedding ring lying on the ground. She picks it up.) Emma: The ring. Hook: You've got to get it to Snow. Go! I've got this. (Emma hurriedly exits. Hook draws his saber and charges the Black Knights confronting him. One of them avoids Hook's blow and heads for the door. Hook fights two knights charging him from the front side. Booting him Hook thrusts one knight into his comrade. Both knights lose their balance. Hook elbows a third knight who charges him from behind.) [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Golden Castle. Running the escaped Black Knight enters the ballroom. [SCENE_BREAK] Black Knight: (pointing at Emma) There she is. She helped the bandit escape. (Two Black Knights block Emma's way. The Evil Queen approaches her.) The Evil Queen: Going somewhere? [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Golden Castle. Two Black Knights and one of King Midas' Golden Knights are dead. Hook strikes a final blow killing his last opponent. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Golden Castle. The ballroom. [SCENE_BREAK] Emma: Regina. I- The Evil Queen: (interrupting) is a bit informal, wouldn't you say? Show some respect. It's Your Majesty. (Two Black Knights seize Emma by the arms. Emma struggles to break free. Running Hook enters the ballroom. Standing many people block his view. Bending his head Hook is able to get a glimpse of Emma and quickly withdraws again) You're not going anywhere. Snow White may have left the party early, but, I suspect, your night has just begun. (To guards) Take her away. Black Knight: Come on. (The Black Knights walk Emma out. Hook bends his head once again in order to watch. Briefly Emma opens her palm showing Hook Charming's ring. As the Evil Queen passes King Midas the king bows. Emma slips the ring in her pockets. Hook watches them exit.)

Everyone in Storybrooke joins Mary Margaret and David as they prepare to crown their newborn son, while the time-travel portal that Zelena created before her apparent demise comes to life, and takes Emma and Hook back to the Enchanted Forest, before the events of the original curse. Emma and Hook must find a way to return to Storybrooke. But in their quest to return, they accidentally ruin Snow and Charming's first meeting, and they must repair the timeline with Rumplestiltskin's help, before it is too late to undo the damage. Note: This episode was aired together with "There's No Place Like Home" as a 2-hour special .

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Kevin: At least once a year, I like to bring in some of my Kevin's Famous Chili. The trick is to undercook the onions. Everybody is going to get to know each other in the pot. I'm serious about this stuff. I'm up the night before pressing garlic and dicing whole tomatoes. I toast my own Ancho chilies. It's a recipe passed down from Malone's for generations. It's probably the thing I do best. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Someone is returning! He started his own company, and now he's back. Who could it be? I'll give you a hint. He is a man. A man you have missed with all your heart. A man who has ruined all other men for you. Who is it? Ryan: [whispering] Who is it? Pam: [whispering] Who is it? Michael: [whispering] It's Michael Scott. [applause; Michael jumps through sign] Hold it up. Conference room, five minutes. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Well, I guess the first order of business is to welcome back me, and Pam and Ryan. [scattered applause] And how about casual Friday again, huh? Reinstituting casual Friday? You all look great. What I want to do right now is try something a little different. I'm going to throw it out there, starting with this meeting. I want you guys to run it. I want you to say whatever you want, take it away. Your meeting. Dwight: [after a few moments of silence] Wh--what are you doing? Michael: If there is something that you would like to say as a group, then by all means, you may say it to me right now. Angela: Okay. Michael: Yes. Angela: People are dressed inappropriately. Michael: Take it up with Toby. What I want you to do, is I want you to look inward. And I want you to reflect. And I want you to say something different. Jim: Can you give us a hint? [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: When I needed salespeople for my new paper company, everyone here turned their back on me. Am I going to ask them to beg for forgiveness? No. Am I going to ask for big, crying apology? No. Am I going to ask them to slit their wrists for me? No. I just want a tiny, microscopic version of that. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Oscar, what were you going to say? Oscar: Nothing. I didn't say anything. Michael: All right. Erin: Do I still have a job here? Michael: Not important. [everyone mutters] Okay, alright. Yes. Yes, you have a job. Frankly, you have a job because Ryan and Pam are starting with us as salesmen. Dwight: Wait, what? Stanley: How is that going to work? Michael: It's going to work very smoothly, because Pam and Ryan are bringing over a ton of clients from Michael Scott Paper Company and-- Phyllis: You mean the clients you stole from us. Dwight: Yeah , aren't we getting those clients back? Michael: No, you lost those clients. Andy: I call foul, sir. Michael: Okay. Dwight: You were bought out. So the company then bought out all of the stolen clients. Michael: Okay, Dwight. Let me explain something to you. I set the rules and you follow them. Blindly. Okay? And if you have a problem with that then you can talk to our complaint department. It's a trash can. [SCENE_BREAK] Meredith: [to Ryan] Don't fall in love with me, kid. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: [laughs] Boscov's at the Steamtown Mall? Phyllis: It sure looked good on the mannequin. Pam: Well, you have good taste. Phyllis: Well, thanks. I sure wish I had more time to talk to my clients, though. Pam: What? Phyllis: Isn't that what you said to a bunch of my clients when you were stealing them? That I didn't have enough time for them? Pam: Oh, I, um... Phyllis: Close your mouth, sweetie. You look like a trout. [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: The man is wearing sandals. I don't need to see Oscar's toes at work. Gross! I mean he looks like he just got off the boat. Toby: Can't you just not look at his feet? Angela: Excuse me? Oh. You're so educated, aren't you Toby? So trained to deal with a hysterical woman. I don't want to look at his feet. [storms off] Do your job! [SCENE_BREAK] Toby: Well, I was in the Seminary for a year and dropped out 'cause I wanted to have s*x with this girl, Cathy. Followed her to Scranton. Took the first job I could find in H.R. Later she divorced me. So no, I wouldn't say I have a passion for H.R. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [hands Ryan a soda] There you are, my friend. Ryan: Oh, thanks, man. Michael: Pamela. Pam: Thank, Michael. Michael: Yep. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Fresh hot ink. Stanley: "New File System". Dwight: Trust me, Stanley, you're going to want to read this memo very carefully. Stanley: I am not changing the way I do my files. Dwight: No, no. This goes for all of you. Believe me, you are going to want to heat my words. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: When held over heat the invisible ink will reveal that everyone should meet at the warehouse immediately. Do not ask me where I got the invisible ink. Urine. It was urine. [SCENE_BREAK] Oscar: I'm sorry you're offended by my shoes, but I am not going to drive home to change. Toby: I could loan you a pair of socks. Oscar: No. Toby: No, they're clean. I was going to wear them to volleyball practice later. Oscar: I don't think so. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Andrew Bernard. Dwight: Okay, what are you still doing at your desk? Andy: What are you still doing not at your desk? Dwight: Did you even read the memo? Andy: All my files are now in reverse alphabetical order-- Dwight: No, you idiot. There is a code embedded in the memo. Listen, you need to round up all the salesmen, except for Ryan and Pam, and get them down to the warehouse pronto. Andy: Oh, it is on like a prawn who yawns at dawn. Dwight: Stop doing rhyming poetry. Just tell them, please. God, the simplest thing. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: We're in crisis mode here, do you understand? The two unqualified so-called salespeople are being favored because they all failed together. And frankly, I'm not convinced that Michael and Pam didn't have a thing going while they were gone. Jim: Can I address that? Dwight: No, you're too close. Jim: Okay. Dwight: Stanley, how do you feel about those two taking your clients? Stanley: It's not right. I don't like it. Dwight: He doesn't like it. Phyllis: You don't take my clients away and give them to a secretary. [sighs] No offense, Jim. I think she's very pretty. Dwight: Her face is okay, but-- Jesus! What --what are you doing here? Meredith: I don't know. I saw a crowd. I thought there might be a dogfight or something-- Dwight: Get out! We need to do something. I'm thinking maybe a coup or we take Ryan hostage. Phyllis: Those sound too harsh. Dwight: No, I'm not saying we do those things. I'm saying something like those things. Jim: Of course. What is like a hostage? Dwight: Excellent question. Andy: We could write a strong-worded letter. Dwight: Words will never be enough. Jim: Strongly-painted picture. Dwight: No, pictures are too interpretive. Jim: Can I just say something? I know that tempers are high, but I think the best way to handle this might be to just talk to Michael directly. Dwight: Oh. Well, that--that's a great idea, Jim. Oh, I totally see your point. Okay, we'll talk to Michael directly. So uh, meeting is over, I guess. I'll see everyone upstairs. Jim: Great. See you upstairs. Dwight: C'mon. [whispers] Guys. Psst, listen. Now is the time for action. I'm talking action-- [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: That one's great. Michael: I know. Ryan: You look so classy in that picture. Michael: I do? Well--Where is that bowl? Jim: Hey, you have a second? Michael: Michael Scott Paper Company only. Jim: Yeah, I think you're going to want to cool it with that 'cause it's starting to upset the other salesmen. Michael: Okay, well--- Ryan: Tough. Michael: I will--no, no. I'll talk to them when they all get back from the bathroom. Jim: This is awkward to talk about, but there may or may not be--but definitely is--a mutiny forming in the warehouse right now. Michael: Against who? Ryan: You. Us. Pam: What? Ryan: It's gotta be because they all want their clients. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: The old Michael Scott might have taken this, but not the new Michael Scott. They are in for a bitter surprise. I am not to be truffled with. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Six weeks ago, none of these people wanted to come with me. You two were the only ones with the stones to follow. Pam: Mm-hmmm. Michael: That was us, right there. Pam: We were something else. Ryan: What you gotta do is you gotta go down to that warehouse and you gotta crack some skulls. Michael: Mm-hmm. Ryan: Chiklis style. Michael: Yeah, the Commish. Ryan: Yes, but Chiklis Shield style. Not Commish style. Michael: Yeah, yeah. The Shield. [SCENE_BREAK] Creed: It's crazy what's going on out there today, huh? Jim: I know. Yeah, it's...kinda-- Creed: Sometimes it's best just to say out of it. Jim: That's true. That's right. Yeah. Creed: Want to play a game? [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Hey gang. Where you been? Dwight: Lunch. Michael: Where'd you eat? Phyllis: A restaurant. Michael: What'd you have, Stanley? Andy: I had a salmon salad. With water, no ice. I was going to get a soda, but the waiter talked me out of it. Her name was Flo, she had black hair. Stanley: I had Mexican food. Michael: So since you guys already ate, you won't be eating the stuff you brought with you for lunch, will you? [walks into kitchen] Oh, wow, Stanley. Is that egg salad? Andy brought some salmon. Ryan: That looks great. Michael: Dwight, is that a meat sandwich? You guys hungry? Ryan: I can eat. Michael: I'm going to o have some of this meat sandwich. Dwight: It's pony. Michael: Mom. What kind of sauce is on your salmon? Andy: Dijonnaise. Michael: Mmm. Thanks for going out, guys. Pam: Mmm. [SCENE_BREAK] Toby: Hey, Meredith. Can I talk to you privately for a second? Meredith: About what? Toby: Your outfit. Meredith: What? What's wrong with my outfit? Toby: You--you might consider pulling it down a touch. It's ri--it's riding up a little high. Meredith: A bunch of prudes. You know, Oscar's allowed to wear sandals, but I'm not allowed to wear open-toed shoes? [pulls down dress, office gasps] Is that how it goes? Oscar: Meredith, your boob is out. Meredith: Fine. [pulls dress up, everyone gasps again] Angela: Meredith, too far! Kelly: Dammit, Meredith, where are your panties? Meredith: It's casual day. Happy? [bends over to get a file, exposing herself to the office] [SCENE_BREAK] Creed: [playing chess with Jim] No. IF you do that, I'm gonna do that. IF you do that, I'm gonna do that. IF you do this, I'm gonna do that. Jim: Well, what if I just do this? Creed: You don't want to do that. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: I'm just hiding out until all this stuff blows over. With Creed. Playing chess. At work. He's winning. I feel like I'm describing a dream I had. [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: I'm sorry you feel that way, Mr. Bart. Is there anything I can do to make things better? Dwight: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Give me the phone. Give me the phone. Ryan: Exactly. Dwight: That's my client. Ryan: Exactly. This is your first complaint in ten years. Dwight: Give me the phone. Ryan: Things have been generally good. Dwight: Give me the phone. Tell him Dwight Schrute wants to talk to him. Ryan: Look, uh, Mr. Bart... Dwight: Hi, Mr. Bart. Ryan: At these prices with this service... Dwight: Hey, it's Dwight here. Give me the phone. Ryan: You're not gonna find this anywhere else. Dwight: Dwight Schrute here. Hey, don't hang up. Ryan: No, no, no. Sir, don't listen. Dwight: I know times are tough right now, and I laud your thriftiness. [tries to pull phone out of Ryan's hand] Ryan! Phyllis: Ryan, hand the phone over. Ryan: Stop flustering me, everybody! Stanley: Who let this boy on the phone? Dwight: Ah! Mr. Bart! Ugh! [slams phone down[ I cannot believe you lost that account. He was my client for ten years! Pam: You made him lose the account by screaming at him the entire time. It's okay, Ryan. Dwight: You're a secretary! What do you know? Ryan: Okay. Dwight: And you're a temp and I'm taking your phone. I'm confiscating this. Michael: Hey, hey guys. You know what I want you to do? Shake hands, get over it. That was not a shake, Dwight. Dwight: We want our clients back or we quit, Michael. Michael: Who quits? Phyllis: Me. Stanley: And me. Andy: Me too. Michael: You guys gotta be kidding. Dwight: No, we gotta be deadly serious. We'll start our own paper company. The Schrute-Bernard-Lapin-Vance...Stanley Paper Company. Michael: I love it. I love this idea, and I fully support you. As a matter of fact, I'm going to give you some seed money. [throws money at Phyllis] There you go. There's some seed money for you. And you can take it, no hard feelings. But if you stay, I want an apology, and I want a big one. Stanley: You want us to apologize to you? Michael: Yes I do. Andy: That's completely backwards. Michael: It's frontward's. Phyllis: Michael, you thought you were attacking corporate, but we were the ones who got hurt. You should be apologizing to us. Stanley: That's right. Dwight: Right. Phyllis: Michael, you always said we were a family. Then you went after us. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: No matter how I look at this, I am in the wrong. And I have looked at this thing, like a hundred different ways. From my point of view, from their point of view...98 others. And the bottom line, I am in the wrong. I'm the bad guy. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: I need you to arrange a meeting between me and the sales staff without Ryan and Pam knowing. Dwight: Gasp. Are you talking about a secret meeting? Michael: Whatever you guys did earlier. Dwight: I don't know that first things about secret meetings. Michael: Just do it, okay? Dwight: I'll do-- Michael: Get 'em there. Get 'em there. Dwight: I'll do the best I can. Michael: Are you kidding me? Dwight: Deceit does not come easy to me. Michael: Okay, okay, okay. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: I really love your outfit. Kelly: Thank you so much for saying that. I can't believe that Toby thinks this is inappropriate. Erin: You look like J-Lo. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: So from the bottom of my heart to the top of my heart, I am sorry. Stanley: Are you giving us our clients back? Michael: If we could just focus and go down the line, and everyone would say, "apology accepted", I think we would all feel better. And then we can break out my gift to you--complimentary white chocolate bark. Stanley: Nobody likes that stuff except for you. Michael: They wouldn't make it unless people liked it. Phyllis: Michael, just give us our clients back. That's all we care about. Michael: Okay. If I give you your clients back there won't be enough clients for Ryan and Pam, and I promised both of them they were gonna be salespeople. Stanley: So? Michael: Fine, have your clients. I can see that's what you wanted all along. [everyone mutters "okay"] However, I rescind my apology. Dwight: That's fair. Michael: You are not reacting at all as I had hoped. Darryl: What'd I tell you about building forts in my warehouse? [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: Michael gave all of our clients back to their old salespeople, so now there's not enough for both me and Pam to stay on. Pam: He can only keep one of us as a salesperson now. He'll make his decision by the end of the day. Ryan: I think you should get it. You really grew into it. Pam: Oh. I think you should get it. You've changed a lot and you'd be good at it. Ryan: If you really think that, will you tell that to Michael? That would go a long way coming from you. Pam: Yeah. Ryan: Thanks. [SCENE_BREAK] Creed: So hey, I'm want to set you up with my daughter. Jim: Oh, I'm engaged to Pam. Creed: I thought you were gay. Jim: Then why would you want to set me up with your daughter? Creed: I don't know. Michael: Jim. Can I talk to you for a minute? Jim: Sure. Let me just finish this turn. Michael: [puts Scrabble pieces on board] And Bingo was his name. Let's go. Creed: Challenge. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: I need your help. This whole Pam/Ryan debate is screwing with my head. Jim: I don't want to be biased, but I am very close to Ryan. You know that. Michael: You're close with Pam too. Jim: Eh, she's nice, I guess. You know what? Best thing to do, Pros and Cons list. Michael: Pro for Ryan, he went to business school, he's my number one choice. Jim: Well, that's-- Michael: I like his hair. Jim: Cons, Ryan. He defrauded the company. He has never made a sale. Michael: Okay. Jim: He definitely stole my iPod. Michael: That sounds pretty biased. Jim: You didn't hear my pros. Environmentally-conscious 'cause his mom drives him to work everyday. Michael: Okay. Pam, pros. Jim: Mm-hmm. Michael: I like her. I think that she is a fast learner. Cons, she doesn't always follow through. Sh--New York and the whole art school thing. And Roy. She has a weird voice. Jim: That's not true. Michael: I don't need to tell you that. Jim: I think she'd be a really good salesperson. Michael: I don't think you are being totally impartial though, because you haven't said one bad thing about Pam. Jim: And I won't. Michael: Okay. So be it, then you've lost credibility. And I'm going to go with my guy, and that's Ryan. Jim: All right. You're right, sometimes when she's tired, she can be a little bit shrill. But that's not a weird voice. Michael: Oh, wow! Whoa! Jim: Take it easy. Michael: Ho-ho, man! Wow. [in a high-pitched voice] Honey! I want you to bring the garbage out. 'Cause I'm not going to have s*x with you unless you bring out the garba-- [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: I have a very difficult decision to make. It's like last week I was at the video store. Do I rent Devil Wears Prada again? Or do I finally get around to seeing Sophie's Choice? It is what you would call a classic difficult decision. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: You don't understand clothing, Toby. You're dressed like this amorphous blob of khaki. Toby: All right, look, what you gotta understand is that when you come to work, you give up certain rights. Dwight: Listen up, Flenderson. You're being weak and ineffectual. I'm cowboying this meeting, okay? Here are the new rules. Earth tones only. Also, women are forbidden to wear pants. Toby: All right, come. Sit down, Dwight. Dwight: No. Toby: I'm running this meeting. Dwight: That's debatable. Toby: It's not. It's not. Sit down or I am writing you up. Meredith: Ooh, where has this guy been? Toby: Casual Fridays are cancelled. [everyone protests] Let's just not do it anymore. Andy: You're running from the problem. Toby: There's not a single appropriate outfit in this whole--except mine, quite honestly. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Pam, can you come in here, please? Have a seat. [clears throat] Well, there's no easy way of saying this. So I think I will just...drag it out. Since the dawn of time there has been-- Pam: Just tell me. Michael: I gave Ryan the sales job. There just weren't enough clients for the two of you. So I had to-- Pam: No, okay. Michael: I'm sorry, sorry. Pam: Okay, I get it. [Michael laughs] Why are you giggling? Is this a joke? [Michael continues to laugh] Michael, is this-- did I get the job? Michael: [laughing] Yes, you did. Pam: I did? Michael: Yep. Pam: For real, you're not kidding? Michael: No, you--no. Pam: I did? Michael: No, you're the best person for the job. You're going to be great. Pam: Oh, Michael, thank you. Thank you. Michael: [laughing] Oh, oh! Pam: Thank you. You will not be sorry. Michael: You should have seen your face. Oh man! Oh, that was classic. Pam: Oh. [laughing] I really thought I didn't get it. Michael: Oh, really? Pam: Yeah. 'Cause you said I didn't Michael: Oh, man. That was really good. That was really good. Pam: What about Ryan? Michael: I don't know, I offered him his temp job back. We'll see. He was not happy at all when I offered him this job and then I told him he didn't get the job, so-- Pam: Yeah. Maybe you shouldn't fake fire people anymore. Michael: I don't appreciate you telling me what to do. So clean out your desk, you are through here. Pam: Thanks, Michael. Michael: Oh! What's our receptionists name? Pam: Erin. Michael: Could you send her in? Pam: [opens door] Erin. Michael wants to see you. Michael: Hello. Erin: Hi. Michael: Have a seat. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: This is very difficult to say, but no one here like you in the office and we are going to have to let you go. [pick up phone] Hank, could you come up here please? Hank is our security guard-- Erin: Oh, I can go. Michael: He will be ushering you out. [starts laughing] Erin: Oh! Michael: Oh, your face! Oh! Erin: Is--do the people-- Michael: No, I'm kidding. No, you're not--you're not fired. Yet. Erin: Oh! Michael: Oh... Erin: Do they not like me, though? Michael: I don't know, actually. Erin: Okay.

Michael tries to solve a dispute over customers when the sales team feels that he is biased to the previous Michael Scott Paper Company employes. Pam and Ryan are forced to return the customers and with fewer customers, Michael is forced to fire one of them. Pam is kept on as Ryan is once again a temp. Meanwhile, Toby confronts several employees who take the term casual Fridays too loosely.

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[Open on Brian moaning, etc whilehaving s*x with a whole bunch of different guys. While wesee this, little squares with Michael, Justin, Emmett,Ted, Melanie and Lindsay all sporadically pop up on thescreen, Brady Bunch style, while they all talk on thephone to each other] Michael: Has anybody heard from Brian? I've been tryin'to reach him all day. Justin: Me, too. And he hasn't returned any of my calls. Lindsay: I hope he's all right. Emmett: I wonder how the condemned man's spending hisfinal hours. Ted: Doing penance? Melanie: Doing drugs. Michael: Doing as many guys as he can? All: Bingo! Lindsay: Maybe we shouldn't go through with this. He madeit clear he doesn't want to be reminded. Justin: We're not even supposed to mention it. Michael: It could get ugly. Really ugly. Ted: Still, it is an event of historic proportion. Like,the moon landing or the fall of communism. Melanie: It is our duty as friends to commemorate it... Emmett: And make sure he remembers it...always. (Lindsaychuckles) [Brianfinishes and falls to the bed. When he comes to, thewhole gang is there] Michael: Briiiiii-an! Justin: Hello in there! Lindsay: Wake up sleepy head. Brian: What are you...doing here? Melanie: (gasp) You mean you haven't heard? Emmett: It's the last day of the rest of your life. Brian: Did I die? Ted: No. But you'll wish you had. You're thirty. [All of them start laughing evily. Justin crawls on topof his naked body] Brian: Go away! Justin: Sorry, grandpa. Brian: (pushing Justin off) I said, go away! Justin: No such luck. Brian: Oh. (Brian tries to roll away but everyone goesafter him, trying to get him) Emmett: Grab him! Michael: Careful, he bites. Melanie: (throwing clothes to Lindsay) Gucci, Prada,Armani. Brian: (fighting everyone) No! Melanie: Jesus, what a label queen. Lindsay: Upsy-daisy! Brian: Leave it alone! Ted: Believe me, Brian, this is gonna hurt you a lot morethan it's gonna hurt us. Now get him! [Michael puts a blindfold on Brian's eyes while everyonetries to dress him. Brian starts laughing and then startsscreaming, while everyone else starts laughing] [Cut to a fully clothed Brian,while still blindfolded, as Michael and Justin lead himto a room. Michael takes off the blindfold while Justintakes off Brian's jacket. We see a coffin, flowers and atombstone cake. Ted hands him a piece of paper] Brian: What is this? Ted: You're official membership to the Dead Faggot'sSociety. Brian: Who are you, the f*cking founding father? Ted: Oh, you know, you really are gonna have to get somenew material. Now that you are...one of us. [Michael and Ted put their heads together, smiling.Melanie and Lindsay are about to cut the cake whileEmmett ties some black balloons to the back of Brian'sjeans] Michael: Wait, shouldn't he make a wish first? Emmett: Oh, hon...he already has. (chuckles) He's stillthirty. Melanie: All right, who wants some death-day cake?Death-day cake? Death-day cake? Justin: I'll have some. Since I won't have to deal withthe whole age issue for a long, long time. Michael: It's not so bad. You forget about it, you go on.(he starts leading Brian to the rest of the gang) Ted: Especially when you consider the alternative. (hefluffs a pillow in the coffin) Melanie: (holding out a piece of cake) Think of all thefun you're gonna have. Going to New York, partying withthe big boys. Emmett: You've only just begun to f*ck. Brian: I'm not going to New York. Justin: What? Melanie: Huh? Brian: I said I'm not...(grabs the balloons followinghim) I'm not going to New York. Ted: What's the matter, you can't get a ticket? Melanie: That-that-that's crazy. Brian: The job fell through. (Everyone is silent) Michael: Why the f*ck didn't you tell me? Brian: What difference does it make? You've got yourplans with David. Michael: I know, but... Brian: It's no big deal. (fake smiles) Justin: No big deal? It's all you've been talking about.Leaving, not looking back. Lindsay: You even put your loft on the market. Brian: Well, I can just take it off the market. (throwsTed the paper he gave him when he first got there)Anyway, it doesn't matter, I'm already dead. [He climbs into the coffin and pops a balloon, whichscares Melanie and makes her scream] [Michael walks into his andDavid's place where there are boxes everywhere] Mover: Okay, stuff marked "P", where's that go? David: (sitting at a table) All boxes marked with"P" go to Portland. "S," storage.Hey, Michael! Michael: You didn't tell me the moving men were comingtoday. David: Oh, I thought I did. (to mover) That's one'sstorage. Okay? Michael: (starting to go upstairs) I better finishedpackin' my stuff. David: No, it's okay. I did it. Michael: But I don't know...I don't know what's an"S" and a-and what's a "P." David: Captain Astro, robots, comic books are a"P." Clothes, video equipment...oh, and youshould give this to your friends and your mother. (handsMichael a piece of paper) That's our new address. Michael: New address? (follows David to the table) Whendid we-when did we get a place? David: I rented a house. On the internet. Michael: Why didn't you tell me? David: Well, there just wasn't time. I mean, we wouldhave lost it. You're gonna love the place. It's got anatrium, a pool. Michael: Sounds great. Um...look, I'm gonna go pick upthe tickets. David: Nope, don't have to. (holds them up) I did it. Michael: Oh. Oh. Well, okay. Well, then, I'm gonna callTed, he was gonna give us a ride to the airport. David: (holds up another piece of paper) No need. Ibooked a car. Michael: Is there anything I can do? David: (exhales) Uh, yeah, you can...stand there and lookgorgeous. (starts walking to him) Which you do sobeautifully. (he looks around and then kisses Michael)Isn't it great to be in love with a guy who doeseverything? [he walks off] Michael: Yeah, um...so I guess I'll just go to the beautyparlor and get my nails done. [Ted and Emmett are at Melanie'soffice, waiting to talk to her] Melanie: (to secretary) When Bender calls from the ACLU,put him right through. (Ted and Emmett walk up to her)Well, this day's just full of surprises. [she starts walking and motions for them to follow her] Melanie: Is this a fun visit, or do you two need a goodlawyer? Emmett: Well, what we need is a good lunch. Ted: (chuckles) We thought we'd take Blake out. I mean,if you can spare him. Melanie: Well, I'd be happy to if he was here. He hasn'tcome in today. [Emmett looks at Ted] Ted: Oh...that's right. I-I forgot. That he-he mentionedthis morning he wasn't feeling well. He, uh, yeah, I-Ithink he's got the flu...or something, and, uh, h-hedidn't want to share his germs with anyone. Melanie: Well, that's thoughtful, but frankly Teddy, thisisn't the first time. And when he is here, he's slow andhe doesn't complete tasks we assign him. The otherpartners are pissed. They want him gone. Secretary: Melanie, line one. Ted: Well, I-I'll talk to him. I-I don't know... Melanie: (picks up phone. To Emmett and Ted:) Oh, that'smy call. Excuse me, guys. (on phone) Yes, hi. This isMelanie Marcus. [Emmett and Ted start walking towards the exit] Ted: Don't say anything. Emmett: Me? Oh, I wouldn't dream of it. Except it's nothis germs he didn't want to share. It's his drugs. Ted: Thank you for not saying anything. Why do you alwayshave to be so f*cking cynical? Emmett: I'm not cynical. But, you know what? I'd ratherbe f*cking cynical than in f*cking denial. Ted: (clears throat) Well, he has a cold and a sorethroat accompanied by the aches and pains of fever andcongestion. If the symptoms persist, we'll consult aphysician. Now, let's go to the Shrimp Boat. [They leave] [At Debbie's house. Debbie,Jennifer and Vic are putting together some letters.Jennifer puts them in the envelopes, Debbie seals themand Vic puts the stamp on] Deb: You'll love the barbeque, Jen. It's a P-FLAGtradition. Vic: Debbie started it. Deb: Well, there's so many serious issues to deal with, Ijust thought it was a nice way to have fun with yourkids. Jen: I'm looking forward to it. I'm not that sure howeager Justin's gonna be. Deb: I'll work on him. Vic: They've got everything on stamps these days.Composers, birds, even the Three Stooges. So when arethey gonna have "Famous Fags"? [All three of them laugh] Deb: You can be on the sixty-nine cent stamp, honey. [They laugh some more and Justin walks in] Justin: Hey, mom. Deb and Jen: Hi! (they laugh) Deb: You're goin' with your mom to the P-FLAG barbequeand I don't wanna hear another word about it. Justin: Okay. [he kisses Jen on the side of her forehead as she looksat Deb] Deb: How do you think I got Michael to go all thoseyears? (chuckles) This is the first one's he's going tohave missed since he was eighteen. Vic: Well, at least he's where he belongs. With the manhe loves. Deb: On the opposite side of the goddamn world. Justin: Look at it this way Deb: you've had him all thistime. Deb: Listen to him. Jen: Tell you what...we can share Justin. Deb: Pretty soon he'll be gone, too. Graduation's comin'up...the prom. Vic: The prom. I went with Connie Costello. (Deb laughs)Two hundred pounds wrapped in purple satin. She was likea stuffed grape leaf. (Deb and Jen laugh) Of course, Icouldn't take who I really wanted to. Deb: Lance Rocco! Vic: Lance Rocco. Pisser of a kisser. (Justin smiles) Iwound up dancing with Connie. He wound up not going atall. Justin: Yeah, I'm not going either. Jen: Why not? Justin: Like Vic said, it's for straight kids. Jen: I think prom's for everyone, straight or gay. Deb: That's right! It's one of those-those growing upexperiences, you know? What in the hell do they call it?Uh... Vic: Rites of passage. Deb: That's it! It's like-like losing your virginityor-or-or-or getting your drivers license. Jen: I'd just hate to see you deprive yourself of theexperience because you think you don't belong. [Ted's condo. He's sitting on thecouch, listening to opera. Blake walks in and Ted turnsthe music off] Blake: Hey, Teddy. [he taking his shoes off] Ted: Where've you been? Blake: (laughs) Out. (takes his jacket off) Ted: How you feelin'? Blake: Great. [takes his shirt off] Ted: Then why weren't you at work? [Blake goes into the kitchen to get some water] Ted: Stopped by to take you out to lunch and Melanie saidyou'd called in sick. Blake: (drinking the water) Hm-mmm. Hmm! Yeah, I had,uh...one of those twenty-four hour bug things, but...I'mfeeling a lot better now. (takes another sip) Ted: Well, you better not miss any more days because theymight... [Blake spills some water on his chest and is fascinatedby it. Ted chuckles and Blake accidentally drops thewater bottle. He goes to Ted] Blake: Don't worry. I'll be there... (kisses him) allbright-eyed and bushy-tailed ...(kisses him again) firstthing in the morning. (They start making out) Promise. Ted: Good. (Blake gets up) You know, 'causeyou-you-you-you're doing-you're doing so well. So reallywell. (Blake starts taking his pants off) I-I-I-I-I hateto see you...(stares at Blake) Blake: f*ck me. Ted: What? Blake: I said, "f*ck me." Ted: Blake, are-are-are you listening to me? Blake: Are you listening to me? (He jumps on Ted, kissinghim, while Ted tries to resist) Ted: What are you...what are you... Blake: I...want you...to f*ck the sh1t out of me allnight long. Ted: All right, stop it. (Blake is still trying to makeout with him) Stop it. Stop! (pushes him off) I said stopit! Blake: I want it! Please? (panting) Come on. (Blake takes Ted's pants off) Blake: Give it to me. (takes his boxers off) Oh, yeah.Oh, yeah. (He starts to give Ted a blow-job, panting andmoaning) [Cut to Babylon! Brian, Michaeland Emmett are at the bar ordering drinks) Brian: Double Absolut. Michael: Diet Pepsi. Emmett: Grand Marnier Cosmo. Oh, my god. Michael: What? Emmett: This may be the last time we're ever standinghere at this bar, ordering drinks. Brian: (chuckles) Is that all? I thought it was somethingserious. Michael: Do you think they have a Babylon in Portland? Brian: Do you think they have any queers in Portland? Emmett: Well, there will be at least be two that we knowof. Michael: (to Emmett) Well, you're going to come and visitme, won't you? Brian: If you wanted visitors, you probably should havemoved to South Beach. Emmett: Oh...Mikey. (Emmett gives him a hug) This mightbe the last time we see each other. I'm gonna miss you somuch. No. (lets go of him) No, I'm not gonna cry. AsMartha Stewart says, when life gets you down, have aparty. So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to giveyou a party. Okay, we'll need a theme. We need a theme.Um...what the f*ck do they have in Portland? Michael: Lumberjacks. Brian: Oh, maybe I will come pay you a visit. Emmett: Oh, my god! I've got it. Flannel. We'll all wearflannel. Brian: Now that's perfect. And if you don't have any, youcan always borrow some from Lindsay and Melanie. Emmett: There, I...I feel much better already. Oh, mygod. (starts sobbing) My life's going to be so empty. Brian: You still have me. I'm not going anywhere. Emmett: (sarcastic) Hurray! (he walks off) [Brian looks briefly at Michael and starts walking theopposite direction of Emmett, Michael following him] Michael: Brian. Brian! Brian, wait a second. [they stopon the staircase] Brian: Go home and pack. Michael: David's taken care of that. He's...taken care ofeverything. Brian: What do you plan on doing when you get to fabulousPortland or are you gonna leave all that up to David,too? Michael: I haven't had time to think about it. We've justbeen so busy. Leasing his house, and-and taking care ofhis practice and shipping his car. Brian: f*ck "his"! What about"yours"? (they stand silent for a while) Youknow what, f*ck it. Do whatever you want. [Brian walks away from Michael as we see Justin, walkingaround, obviously looking for someone. He pulls out hiscell phone and dials a number. Seconds later, Brian walksby, answering his phone. Justin shouts out to him] Justin: He's far too young for you! [Brian puts his phoneup] Want to dance? Brian: No, at my advanced years, I might fall and breakmy hip. Justin: [grabbing Brian as he starts to walk away] Nahh,would you stop with the old age sh1t already? It's notlike you're forty. What are you doing on Friday night? Brian: Friday, Friday, Friday. I don't know, myshort-term memory's not what it used to be, uh... Justin: Do you want to come to my prom with me? Brian: As what? Your chaperone? Justin: As my date. Brian: Huh. I'd love to... Justin: Yeah? Brian: But my prom dress is still in the dry cleaners. Justin: Oh, come on! Brian: Are you out of your mind? Go and ask some girl. Justin: I don't wanna go with some girl. I wanna go withsomeone I care about. And it that happens to be a guy,who cares? Brian: You know, that's just what I need. To be at adance with a bunch of f*cking eighteen-year- olds. Justin: I thought you liked f*cking eighteen-year-olds.(he smiles) Brian: Go buy a corsage...for someone else. [Brian walks away] [The diner. Emmett is sitting atthe counter, eating a doughnut with a fork and knife. Tedwalks in and sits next to him] Emmett: Somebody looks all f*cked out. Ted: (sighing) Somebody is. Emmett: Somebody needs vitamins. (to waitress) Coffee,over here. Waitress: Right up. Ted: Blake and I had s*x all night. (Emmett laughs) Got ahalf-hour's sleep. Emmett: Okay, this is what we call a high-end problem. Ted: Only it wasn't him I was f*cking. It was some drug.(silence) Don't look so goddamn smug. You were right,okay. You happy? Emmett: No, Teddy, I'm not happy. I'm sorry. Ted: (starts crying) What the f*ck am I going to do? Emmett: (exhales) Simple, honey. You're going to drinkyour coffee. Here's the cream. Then you're going to gohome...and you're going to change the locks. Ted: Just shut him out like he doesn't exist? Emmett: Well, that or you can keep lying to yourself. Youknow, making excuses for him, living in the state ofpanic every time he disappears, not knowing if he's aliveor dead. And then, when he finally shows up, a mess,having the supreme joy of putting him back togetheragain. Ted: (shuddering) I-I-I-I can't. I-I-I-I can't do that. Ijust, I just... Emmett: Okay. Okay. Okay. Then, um...then let's try doornumber two. Aunt Betty's B&B. He can, uh, he can jointhe long list of illustrious guests like Liz and Liza.Plus, uh...it'll be a good test...to see who he lovesmore. (Ted looks at him) You ...or crystal. [At St. James. Chris pushesJustin up against the wall, making him drop all thisstuff and fall to the floor] Chris: Faggot! Justin: f*ck you, Hobbs! [Hobbs walks away as Daphne walks up] Daphne: You okay? (Justin starts picking up his things)What an asshole. (Daphne hands him a book) Justin: Thank God I won't have to see him again for therest of my life. [He stands up and they start walking] Daphne: Yeah, or...anyone else here, either. Justin: I wasn't talking about you. (the bell rings) So,are you going to the prom? Daphne: (laughs) Are you kidding? Justin: I know. I wasn't going to go either, but Deb saidit was this rite of passage and if I missed it, I wouldregret it for the rest of my life. So I asked Brain. Daphne: No! Justin: He turned me down, though. (they go outside) Daphne: Oh, sh1t! Can you imagine? I mean, people's headswould have exploded. Justin: I know! It would have been the perfect "Fuckyou and farewell" to St. James Academy. (he lights acigarette) I missed you, Daph. Daphne: (smiling) You too. Justin: So...(gives the cigarette to Daphne) how aboutyou and me going together? Daphne: Like a date? Justin: N...like friends. Best friends. Only...weirdnessover? Daphne: Weirdness definitely over. Justin: Okay. (Daphne giggles) [At a department store, the men'ssection, Brian and Lindsay are there, Lindsay pushingGus, Brian looking at the clothes] Lindsay: Ooooohhhhhh, I think that's so adorable that heasked you! Despite the somewhat questionable differencein your ages and the fact that emotionally he's twelveyears your senior. Brian: Not going. Too old. Lindsay: (being sarcastic) Oh, so you're thirty. I know,it's so traumatic. But it is something we all go through.If you're lucky enough to live that long. But to carryalong like it's the end of your life? Brian: It is. Lindsay: It's the beginning. A whole new way of thinkingabout yourself. Feeling a whole new sense of entitlementand accomplishment. Brian: That's from the "La Jeunesse" anti-agingcommercial. I wrote that f*cking copy. Lindsay: Oh...okay. Well, I guess I only quote from themasters. But it's the truth. I want wrinkles. I want tohave gray hair. I want Gus to make me a grandmother. Iwant to grow old with Melanie. Brian: Do you want me to puke... right here? I don't wantgray hair and wrinkles. I don't want to be a grandfather.And I definitely don't wanna grow old with Melanie. Oranyone else. (He spots a white scarf on a mannequin) Lindsay: What do you want? Brian: (takes the scarf off the mannequin and tests it'selasticity) This. Lindsay: It's very beautiful. Brian: (puts the scarf around his neck) You know, maybeyou're right. Maybe I should celebrate turning thirty.(ties the scarf in a knot around his neck) Give myselfsomething very special. Lindsay: Now you're talking. (she loosens the knot alittle bit and throws the ends of the scarf over hisshoulders) [At David and Michael's, Michaelis looking in the closet for his flannel shirt to wearfor the party] Michael: David! David! David: What is it? Michael: Where's my plaid flannel? It used to be righthere. David: Oh, oh, I packed it. Michael: (David enters the room) What am I supposed towear to Emmett's party? You're supposed to wear flannel. David: Here. (throws him a shirt) Try that on. Michael: Thanks. David: You'll look good in that. That's too small on me,you keep it. Michael: I don't need your hand-me-downs. (mumbling) WhatI need is...somebody who listens to me. David: What? Michael: Well, to think about... what I'm gonna do whenwe get to Portland. I mean, we haven't even discussed it. David: Okay, let's discuss it. Michael: W-well, I...I thought that, um...you know, maybeI wouldn't work at another Big Q. You know, that maybeI'd, uh, um, I-I'd try something totally different. Youknow, a whole new track. Maybe e-even go back to college.Um, uh... David: Oh, I just remembered I told the people who areleasing the house I'd put the screen doors in before weleft. Michael: Oh, I can do it. David: No, that's okay. I'll take care of it. Michael: Well, I used to help my mom put on the screendoors every year. David: It's okay. I'm good with my hands, remember? [David puts on his shirt and leaves while Michael standsthere, frustrated] [Go to Emmett's apartment. Youcan hear various noises like birds chirping and insectsbuzzing. Debbie knocks on the door and Emmett answers] Deb: Heeeeeyyy! (they hug and Emmett gives her a kiss onthe cheek) Hi, honey. Emmett: Come in, come in, come in. Deb: (to Michael) Hey! (Emmett hugs Vic) (to Michael) Hi,baby. (they hug) Aww. (Deb looks around and sees a moosein the middle of the room and everyone decked out inflannel, plus trees and stuff scattered around the room)I feel like I'm in a f*ckin' forest! (gives David a hugand he gives her a kiss on the cheek) Oh, it even smellslike a f*ckin' forest. Emmett: That would be the miracle of pine-scented spray.(sprays some) Vic, Michael and Deb: Oh, God! Michael: It's supposed to be the Great Northwest, Ma.Make David and me feel at home. David: All we need now is a bear to sh1t in the woods. Emmett: Well, I can ask a big hairy Al, who works at theManhole, to come over. He's into scat. Deb: Oh, Jesus. Vic: Oh, that's disgusting. Lindsay: (to Gus) Cover your ears, sweetheart. YourAuntie Em is being gross. [Vic takes off his jacket and is wearing flannel pajamas.Emmett looks at him] Vic: What? You said wear flannel. [Vic laughs and puts his jacket on the antlers of thefake moose in the middle of the room] Ted: [to Melanie and Lindsay] May I say, you two havenever looked more...butch. Melanie: (scoffs) Well, neither have you. [David smiles] Ted: Flannel. Isn't that lesbian lingerie? (Almosteveryone laughs) Melanie: Stick a dick in it, would you? Lindsay: I think that's funny. [David puts his arm around Michael] Justin: Where's Brian? Deb: (holding Gus and talking to him) He's alwaysfashionably late. [Cut to Brian who is sitting onthe floor in his loft, candles lit, pouring himself adrink and listening to music. He grabs a joint and usesone of the candles to light it. He smokes it and takesdrinks of the liquor. He starts to open a box] [Cut back to the party. Justinand Lindsay are talking to Blake but then get up and goto the kitchen. Emmett is next to Ted, holding a platefull of pancakes] Emmett: Have you talked to him yet? Ted: (reaching for a pancake) Are these buttermilk?(Emmett pulls them away) No. (he takes a drink) Emmett: Well, may I suggest, as your hostess for theevening, that you do so? Ted: It's a goodbye party, not an intervention. Emmett: Then, the sooner you say goodbye, the better. [Michael walks up] Michael: You don't have to say goodbye to me right now.I'm not leaving till tomorrow. Emmett: We weren't talking about you, sweetie. [Ted and Emmett look at each other] Ted: (to Michael) So, you all packed? Michael: Yeah, my entire life is on a moving van headedto Portland. Emmett: You're not getting cold feet, are you? Michael: I haven't had cold feet since I lived here.(Emmett chuckles) I remember banging on the pipes so the landlord would turn on some heat. Emmett: It's better than banging the landlord. (they laugh) Ted: Well...(they laugh some silence) Emmett: Well, honey...(getting emotional) if you ever want to come home, you just, um...(starts crying) you just click your heels three times. (he walks away) Michael: (to Ted) I guess I'll miss you most of all,Scarecrow. [they hug and Ted starts getting upset. He walks away. Deb and Vic go up to Michael) Deb: Poor guys. Are they gonna be all right? Michael: Yeah, they'll be fine. What about you? Deb: For christ sakes, Michael, you're only going to Portland, not to the moon. They got planes and phones that go both ways, honey. Michael: And you and Vic can come and visit any time you want. Deb: We may take you up on that. But like I said, it's no big deal. Isn't that what I've been sayin', Vic? Vic: She's been sayin' that. Deb: So give me a hug and that'll be that. (They start hugging and Deb won't let go) Michael: Ma? Are you going to let me go? Deb: I'd like to sweetheart...but I can't. Michael: What do you mean you can't? Deb: My arms won't move. Michael: Ma, you're suffocating me. Deb: I'm not f*ckin' kidding! Michael: David! Uncle Vic! David: Oh, okay. Just a second. Vic: Come on, let's give her a pull. On three... [Cutback to Brian in his loft. He takes the white scarf out of the box and starts playing/dancing with it] [SCENE_BREAK] [Cut back to the party. Michaelis dragging Justin to the side, who is holding a plate of food] Justin: I didn't touch anything in your room. Michael: That's not what I wanted to say. Look, I needyou to do me a favor. Justin: What, disappear? Michael: I gave up all hope of that happening a long timeago. (Justin laughs) I need you to take care of my momwhile I'm away. Make sure she doesn't work too hard. Andhelp her around the house and- and- and take out thetrash. And if you see that she is lonely, just sit withher a while and let her talk, even if you've heard itbefore, because sometimes she just needs to know thatsomeone's listening. Justin: I promise. [They smile and Michael walks away. Later at the party,Ted is watching Blake talk with Melanie, Lindsay andJustin in the kitchen. Blake leaves 'em and goes over toTed. He wraps his arms around the back of Ted] Blake: I love your friends. They are like family. Ted: Not "like." They are. (takes a drink) Blake: Hmm. Ted: It's because we trust each other. (he walks away) Blake: Whoa! (he follows him) You don't trust me? Ted: Do I have reason not to? (silence) All right, look,let's not pretend there isn't a moose in the middle ofthe room, okay? (Blake laughs) I know you're using again.I found one of your little "favors" in thepocket of the suit I bought you. Blake: Huh, talk about trust? Ted: I wasn't looking for it, okay. It just fell out.(Blake starts looking around, incredulous) You canbelieve me or not, I really don't care. Since then, I'vebeen trying to pretend I didn't see it. Only I can't. Notwhen I see you destroying your life. Blake: I was afraid of disappointing you, of failingagain. Ted: Well, you have. And I can't live with an addict. AndI can't make love to an addict. And that sickens me tothink about what you're doing to a person I happen tocare a whole lot about who obviously cares so littleabout himself. So I have no choice... except to saygoodbye. [Emmett is standing to the side, watching theirconversation] Blake: I don't wanna be like this! [Ted looks at Emmett, who looks away and keeps walking] Ted: (softly) Then check yourself into rehab. [Back toBrian's loft, he's tossing the scarf in the air. It keepsfalling down and he keeps tossing it back up] [At the party, Debbie is holdingGus while talking to Vic. Emmett walks up with a bowl ofjerky] Emmett: Uh, moose jerky? (Lindsay starts laughing) [In Emmett's room, Michael and David are having adiscussion] Michael: It's harder than I thought. Saying goodbye. It'sa good thing we're leaving first thing in the morning. [David kisses him on the side of the forehead and startsto leave the room. He pauses] David: Acutally, I changed the reservation for tomorrownight. (he continues to leave) Michael: What? [David walks back in] David: I said I changed the reservation until tomo-- Michael: Why didn't you tell me? David: Well, does it matter? Michael: Obviously not. David: Well, Michael, it's just a little change of plan.I've just got a few things I gotta clear up-- Michael: Which I could have helped you with except everytime I offer, you refuse. [Emmett walks in and thenleaves when he sees they're arguing] You have to doeverything yourself! David: I just thought-- Michael: No, you just thought I couldn't handle it! ThatI can't hang a f*ckin' screen door! [David closes the doors] David: What the f*ck is wrong with you? Michael: You just think I'm going to go along, dowhatever you want. On your terms and your time. Like achild, or a-or a trophy wife! You just make all thedecision and I'll just say "yes, dear". Only,I'm the one giving up everything in my goddamn life: myfamily, my friends, my job, to be with you. And I have towonder, that if the situation was reversed, would youhave done the same for me? (silence) Well, I guess that'san answer. [David stands there for a minute and leaves Michaelalone] [Brian's loft. He's taking drugsas the scene blurs [from his perspective]. He's jerkingoff and panting. Michael walks in and runs up to him,trying to undo the scarf he's hanging from. They bothfall to the floor] Brian: Ooh...ooh...(he looks at Michael and chuckles indisbelief) f*ck...you. Michael: f*ck you! Brian: Asshole! (tries to pull his pants up) Michael: What the f*ck were you doing? Brian: What the f*ck are you doing? Michael: I came here to see why you didn't come to myfarewell party. Brian: What party? Michael: You know goddamn well. Everybody was there butyou. Brian: Oh, right. David and Michael's "Farewell InFlannel." (They stand up and Michael picks up thescarf) Well, I've been having a little celebration of myown in honor of my big three-oh. Michael: With this? (holds out the scarf) Brian: (picks up the chair and grabs the scarf from him)Yeah, to give myself a very special gift. Michael: Like what? Brian: (puts the scarf around his neck) Like the greatestfucking orgasm of my life! Michael: (grabbing the scarf) Try the last f*cking orgasmof your life! You could kill yourself! Brian: Well, that couldn't be the worst thing that couldhappen. To go out in a blaze of glory...likeCobain...James Dean...Hendrix. (puts the scarf backaround his neck) They're all legends. They'll always beyoung and they'll always be beautiful. Michael: And they'll always be dead. Brian: "Life not worth living if you not takerisk." Michael: You're not going through with it. Brian: If I want to experience the joys ofscarfing...what the hell business is it of yours? Michael: It's my business 'cuz I'm the one who'll get thecall that the goddamn cleaning lady's found you hangingfrom the rafters with a f*ckin' boner! Brian: (laughing) f*ck you, Michael. f*ck you. Why do youalways have to ruin everything!?! Michael: Ruin? I'm saving you! Just like Toby Harpersaved Captain Astro in issue two thirty-one of AstroComics. When Captain Astro thought that he'd lost all ofhis super power. Brian: God, you are so pathetic. Michael: No. You are! Don't you know that you still haveyour powers? All your powers. And you always will!Whether you're eighteen, or you're thirty, or you'refifty or you're a hundred. You will always be young, andyou will always be beautiful. You're Brian Kinney forfuck's sake! [Michael kisses him and then brings him in for a hug] [Ted's walking through a corridor[eating something] to a room where Blake is taking thingsout of a bag] Ted: Well, the staff seems very nice and really helpful. Blake: They do. Ted: And they said you can get anything you want at anytime. You know, they got, uh, snacks all day. Blake: That's good. Ted: You know, and, uh, if you need anything, you just,um... Blake: I-I will. Ted: Look, I-I want you to know how happy...no, happy'snot the right word. (studders) Not happy, but,uh...greatful and relieved I am that you're doing this. Blake: Well, it's for us, right? Ted: Right. (they kiss and hug. Ted sighs and they pullapart) So...I'll see you tonight? Blake: (he shakes his head 'yes') Tonight. (they kissagain) Ted: Oh, one more thing before I forget...(digs around inthe bag and pulls out a walkman and a CD) I thought youmight like to listen to that. Blake: La Traviata. Ted: (putting his jacket on) You're favorite opera. Blake: Yeah, it's...the only opera that...I know. (Tedlaughs and starts to leave) Except... (Ted turns around)you said at the end they get back together and sing manyglorious duets. Ted: Guess that's the sequel. "Traviata 2". [They wave and Ted leaves] [At David and Michael's place.David is finishing packing while Michael sits to theside, watching] David: Considering how you feel, I think it's probably agood idea that you not go. Michael: You think it's a good idea. David: For Christ sakes, Michael, what do you want me tosay? Michael: "We think." You know, if you used theword occasionally, you might actually get used to it. [David puts his jacket on] David: You're the one who's obviously decided that it'snot a good idea, only this time it's not about screendoors or changing flights. This time it's about Brian. Ifyou knew he wasn't leaving, you would have never agreedto go. [David grabs the suitcase he was packing and starts toleave] Michael: No, David...(David pauses at the door) you'll behappy to know this time it's not about him. It's aboutyou. David: The car'll be here any minute. [He starts walking away and Michael follows him] Michael: I can take you to the airport. David: I know you can, but I'd rather you didn't. Michael: Okay, fine, have it your way. David: (opens the front door) The way I always do? Michael: That's not what I was gonna say. I'm sorry. David: How many times have I told you you don't have tokeep apologizing, Michael? Michael: I know I don't, but... David: Aside from that...I'm the one that should beapologizing to you. I'm sorry I disregarded yourfeelings, that I didn't include you in the decisions,that I expected you to come. And, no...I'm not sure thatI could do the same. [They stand in silence] Michael: Well, I appreciate that, but that's...that's notwhat I was gonna say. It's not up to you to decide what Ishould do with my life. That's up to me. And if I didn'tdo it, then it's my fault. And... maybe next time Ishould just...I should think things through more clearlybefore I say...yes. David: Well, I hope you'll decide to change your mind.And if you do...(holds out the ticket to Michael) I'll bewaiting. And this time...on your time, and your terms. [The car horn honks and Michael takes the ticket as Davidleaves. Michael goes to the door and watches him go] [Cut to Debbie's. Emmett walksdown the stairs and greets Jennifer, Vic, Debbie, Melanieand Lindsay] Emmett: Attention everyone! (starts clapping) Rememberthat cute little twink in the midriff tee and fatigueswho went up the stairs? Well, just take a look at who iscoming down. [Everyone gasps and looks in awe as Justin walks down thestairs in a tux and all ready for the prom] Deb: Holy sh1t, Sunshine! Vic: Well, what do you know. The little chicken's becomecock-of- the-walk. Jen: Sweetheart, you look... (getting emotional)beautiful. Melanie: Jesus, I could go for you myself. Lindsay: If I don't beat you to him. (they laugh) [At the prom, various kids andcouples are dancing, including Justin and Daphne andChris and his date] [Atrehab, Emmett and Ted are walking to Blake's room, Emmettcarrying a book and Ted carrying flowers, magazines and apizza] Ted: (scoffs) I can't believe you brought your autographbook with you. Emmett: Well, you never know who you might see in rehab. [They laugh as Ted asks the clerk behind the counter tosee Blake] Ted: Hi, uh, we're here to visit, uh, Blake Wyzecki. Clerk: Sorry, Blake checked himself out. Ted: (going to his room) He just... he just checkedhimself in this afternnon. Clerk: He's gone. Emmett: What-what-what, you just let people leavewhenever they want? Clerk: Voluntary commitment. We can't force people tostay. Ted: Did he say where he was going? Did he-did he leave amessage? Clerk: Are you Ted? Ted: That's right. Clerk: He left this for you. (The clerk grabs the La Traviata CD and gives it to Ted.Ted sets down the stuff he was holding onto the counterand takes the CD. As he starts to leave, he drops the CDand Emmett starts running after him] [At the prom, Chris and his dateare making out while Justin and Daphne are still dancing.Brian walks in, wearing the white scarf, and looks forJustin. When he starts walking to him, Daphne sees Brianand points him out to Justin, who turns around andwatches as he walks up to them. Justin's obviouslyexcited as Brian tries to play it cool] Justin: I thought you said you wouldn't be caught dead ina room full of eighteen-year-olds. Brian: I thought I'd recapture my lost youth. (he turnsto Daphne) You look hot, Daphne. (he kisses the side ofher face as she giggles) I'd f*ck you. Daphne: Uh, you-you, too, Brian. Brian: Mind if I borrow your date? Daphne: (mouths) No. [She walks off as Brian leads Justin onto the middle ofthe dance floor where they dance to "Save the LastDance." Everyone stops dancing to watch them. Chrisis obviously not pleased.) Music: Ben E. King and The Drifters # Save the Last Dance for Me #You can dance Every dance with the guy Who gives you the eye Let him hold you tight You can smile Every smile for the man Who held your hand Beneath the pale moonlight But don't forget who's taking you home And in whose arms you're gonna be So darlin', save the last dance for me Oh, I know That the musics fine Like sparkling wine Go and have your fun Laugh and sing But while we're apart Don't give your heart to anyone And don't forget who's taking you home And in whose arms you're gonna be So darlin', save the last dance for me [Cut to Michael, sitting alone atthe table in David's place, looking at the airlineticket] #Baby don't you know I love you so Can't you feel it when we touch I will never never let you go I love you oh so much [Back at the prom, Brian andJustin are still dancing while everyone watches. Justintakes off Brian's jacket and tosses it to Daphne. Theycontinue some more fancy moves and dips and spins andthen they kiss in front of everyone while Brian twirlsJustin. Chris looks pissed as he watches. Daphne smilesas they keep kissing and finally they run off to the sidewhen they're done, leaving the prom] #You can dance Go and carry on Till the night is gone And it's time to go If he asks If you're all alone Can he take you home You must tell him no Cause don't forget who's taking you home And in whose arm's you're gonna be So darlin save the last dance for me Cause don't forget who's taking you home And in whose arm's you're gonna be So darlin save the last dance for me Save the last dance for me Mmmmh, save the last dance for me Mmmmh, save the last dance for me Mmh, save the last dance for me # [At the airport, Michael isrunning down the halls, trying to make it to the airplanebefore it leaves] Loudspeaker: American Airlines, flight four seven six,now boarding at gate... [Michael gets in a long line to go through the securitycheckpoint and spots a stewardess of whom he gets herattention] Michael: Stewardess? Stewardess, has flight nine-ninetyleft yet? Stewardess: I believe they've already started boardinggate thirty-nine. You wanna make it, you better hurry. [he cuts in line and gets through the checkpoint] [At the garage, Brian and Justinare playing around, holding hands, as they walk toBrian's jeep] Justin: (singing) And don't forget who's taking you home(Brian joins in with him) and in who's arms you're gonnabe...(they embrace but keep walking) Justin: Did you see their faces? Brian: Yeah. We gave them a prom they'll never forget. [They're standing right outside the jeep] Justin: Me, neither. [Brian takes off the scarf and puts it around Justin'sneck, plastering him up against the jeep] Justin: It's the best night of my life. Brian: Even if it was ridiculously romantic. [Brian goes into kiss him, then hesitates. They kiss andthen Brian pulls him away from the jeep] Brian: Later. Justin: (softly) Later. [Justin laughs and starts walking away while Brian getsin the jeep. He looks back, smiling until he sees Chriscome up behind Justin, carrying a baseball bat. He opensthe door and gets out of the jeep] Brian: Justin! [Justin turns around, smiling, as Chris bashes him in thehead. Brian runs towards them and pushes Chris down,taking the bat and hitting Chris in the guts when hetries to run away) Chris: Owww! Ahhh! (Brian drops the bat) God...damnit! [Brian runs over to Justin, who is lying on the ground,and leans over his body] Brian: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. God! [Back at the airport, Michaeltries to shove his bag in the slot that allows you howmuch you can carry on board. David is sitting on theplane, waiting to see if Michael is coming. He dusts offthe seat. Back inside the airport, Michael pulls out hisbag from the slot and starts walking onto the terminalthat leads to the plane. His cell phone rings and hepulls it out. He pauses when he sees who the caller isand slowly puts it to his ear. He starts walking down thecorridor but stops abruptly and drops his bag. David isstill sitting on the plane, waiting] Music: Jan Garbarek & The Hilliard Ensemble # Parce mihi Domine # Parce mihi Domine, nihil enim sunt dies mei. [Two paramedics open the backdoors of an ambulance and pull out the stretcher carryingJustin, his bandaged head and shirt covered in blood, hisneck in a brace, hooked up to oxygen. Brian walks out ofthe ambulance, blood on him as well, holding the bloodsoaked scarf he had given Justin. He follows theparamedics into the hospital. Brian looks old) #Quid est homo, quia magnificas eum? Aut quid apponis erga eum cor tuum? [Cut to inside the hospital, in ahallway, where Brian is sitting by himself, the bloodyscarf around his neck. Michael walks up, sits down nextto him and puts an arm around his shoulders, runs hishand through Brian's hair. Close up shot of Brian, tearsstreaking his face, blood on his lips.] [Hecloses his eyes, and when he opens them, he imagineshimself, Justin and Michael running down the hospitalhallway when they where there for Gus's birth. Back topresent day, he sits there, more tears running, asMichael tries to comfort him by massaging his neck, etc.Brian just stares straight in front of him as Michaellooks back down the hall. Fade out to black]

Brian turns 30; Michael and David prepare for their move to Portland; Ted faces the truth about Blake; Justin and Daphne attend their prom where unexpected events take place.

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Act 1 Scene 1 - Frasier's Apartment Fade in. Daphne is eating at the dining table, Martin is in his chair with Frasier standing behind him. They are staring at her with a mixture of concern and interest. She notices them. Daphne: Oh, I'm sorry. Care for some brie? Frasier: No, thank you Daphne. Isn't Niles taking you to dinner soon? He sits down on the couch as she gets up and heads for the kitchen. Daphne: Yeah, but if I don't have a little snack now, I'll just make a pig of meself later. She stuffs the last bite in her mouth and goes to the kitchen. Frasier: You know, I'm really starting to worry about her. The doorbell rings and Frasier gets up to answer it. Martin gets up from his chair. Martin: You're worried? Somewhere on a poultry farm a bunch of chickens are holdin' a prayer vigil. Frasier opens the door to reveal Niles. Frasier: Ah! Hello, Niles. Niles: [entering] Hello, Frasier. Look at what I brought: chocolate covered honey nougat praline bombs! And they're jumbos! Martin: Well, we knew they weren't for us. Frasier: Dad! Martin goes off to his room, Niles hangs up his coat. Frasier: Listen, Niles. This may be a bit of a sensitive subject, but have you noticed anything... different about Daphne lately? Niles: Well, she's happier, as am I. Frasier: Well, I guess I meant more in a... physical way. Niles: Well, she trimmed her bangs, that was a week ago. Men! Frasier: I, I guess what I'm really talking about is her... size. Niles: Well, that's my fault. I was self-conscious about our height difference and I asked her to stop wearing high-heeled shoes. Frasier: Niles...? Niles: Yes? Frasier: [giving in] I hope one day to love a woman the way you love Daphne. Niles: Don't worry, you will, you will. [They hug.] Now, where's my little sparrow? The doorbell rings. Frasier: She's in the kitchen. Niles: All right. Niles heads for the kitchen as Frasier opens the door for Kenny. Frasier: Kenny. Gosh, this is a surprise. Kenny: I'm sorry to drop by like this, it's just that I'm in a terrible bind. Frasier: Is there something wrong at the station? Kenny: [entering] No, no, it's personal. I stopped by a bar last night to watch the game, and I started talking to this woman, Janice. She was so beautiful, and she had this great laugh, and she smelled... good. And for some crazy reason, she liked me too. Frasier: Oh, Kenny, what did you do? Kenny: I made a date with her. She's waiting for me right now at Chez Henri! I've never done anything like this before. I'm a married man with kids and I have a date! Frasier: Kenny! Listen, if you go down and meet with this woman, it could be the end of your marriage. Now, I've never met your wife, but you've always spoken very highly of her. Are you prepared to lose her? Kenny: No! Frasier: Then you can't go. Kenny: Stand Janice up? She'll wonder what happened, she'll call my house. Frasier: You gave this woman your home number? Kenny: I'm new at this! Frasier: Oh, God. All right, well, you're just gonna have to go down there and tell her the whole thing's off. Kenny: No, no. Don't make me go down there, Doc. I'm weak. One look in her eyes and those sexy, full lips... well, maybe a quick hello. He heads for the door. Frasier: Kenny, Kenny, wait! Maybe you're right, maybe you shouldn't go down there. Kenny: Well, what else am I gonna do? Frasier: All right, uh... Go home. I'll go down and talk to her for you. Kenny: Wow. You'd really do that? Thanks Doc! He hugs Frasier. Frasier: Well, yes. All right. Okay. [He separates them and gets his coat.] What name did you make the reservation under? Kenny: Kenny Daly. Frasier: What are you thinking? Kenny: They know me there, I wanted a good table! Frasier: All right. They both exit. FADE OUT. Scene 2 - Chez Henri A woman (Janice) waits at a table. Another woman (Kenny's wife (!)) walks up. Mrs. Daly: Excuse me. Are you Janice? Janice: Yes. Mrs. Daly: The Janice who's meeting Kenny Daly? Janice: Yes, is there a problem? Mrs. Daly: Just one: I'm his wife! Janice: Oh, my God! He didn't tell me he was married! Mrs. Daly: Why am I not surprised? Janice: [getting up] Well, I am so sorry. [She thinks a moment.] Oh, now you must have heard my message on your answering machine. Mrs. Daly: Yeah. And for your information, Kenny's eyes are brown, not "hazelicious"! Janice hurries out, Mrs. Daly sits. Mrs. Daly: [to waiter] Uh, excuse me. Could you please take... this? [She hands Janice's wine to him.] Waiter: Yes, ma'am. He takes the wine away and Frasier enters and comes over to the table. Frasier: Excuse me, are you meeting Kenny Daly? Mrs. Daly: You bet I am! Frasier: Well, I'm Frasier Crane. Mrs. Daly: Yes, I know. Frasier: Oh, thank you. It's always nice to meet a fan. [He sits.] Anyway, I'm afraid I have a bit of bad news. You see, Kenny won't be making it tonight. Mrs. Daly: Why not? Frasier: Well, uh, there's something you should know about Kenny. Janice, isn't it? Mrs. Daly: Uh... yes. Janice. Frasier: You see, Kenny's married. Mrs. Daly: Really? Frasier: Yes. He wanted to come down and tell you himself, but I insisted that I come instead. You see, he finds you so attractive, that he can't control himself around you. Mrs. Daly: Is that right? Frasier: Yes. In fact, I practically had to wrestle him away from the door. Mrs. Daly: I don't believe this. She begins to cry, Frasier hands her a napkin. Frasier: Janice... Listen, there's no need to cry. You know, there are other fish in the sea. And certainly a woman as beautiful as you could have her pick. Mrs. Daly: You don't have to say that. Frasier: No, no, it's true. The waiter returns. Waiter: Are you ready to order? Mrs. Daly: Oh, we're not staying. Frasier: Oh, just hang on a second. Janice, listen, I'm free tonight, what do you say I buy you dinner? Mrs. Daly: Oh, I don't know... Frasier: Come on, you deserve to have a nice evening. Mrs. Daly: Well, I haven't been out in a long time. Frasier: There, see? There you go. You know, they happen to make a sumptuous creme brulee here. Mrs. Daly: Really? Well... why the hell not? Frasier seems happy at this. FADE OUT. MOONSTUCK Scene 3 - Frasier's Apartment Fade in. Niles and Daphne are coming in the front. Niles is carrying a foil swan used for take-home by fancy restaurants. Niles: Here we go. Daphne: Thank you. She takes his coat to hang it up. Niles: Thank you. I'll just put this in the fridge. He crosses for the kitchen. Daphne: That sure was a snooty restaurant. The waitress' eyebrows nearly hit the ceiling when I asked for a doggy bag. Reset to: the kitchen where Niles is putting the swan away. Niles: I don't know what their problem was, the people at the next table barely touched this pork chop. There is a thump from the living room and Daphne cries out. Niles: Daphne? Reset to: the living room as Niles hurries out. Daphne is on the floor in front of Martin's chair. Niles comes over to her. Niles: What happened? Daphne: I stepped on Eddie's chew toy and twisted my ankle. I don't think I can get up. Niles: Here, here, let me help you. He reaches down and takes her hands. He tries to pull her up, but simply grimaces with the strain. Niles: Damn these weak shanks! Daphne: Oh, it's not you, it's me! Niles: Oh, don't be silly. You're light as a feather. He gets behind her and tries to lift under her arms, to no avail. Daphne: Oh, Niles, look at me! I'm a tub! Niles: Darling, no. You might be perhaps a bit sturdier, but I love you no matter what your size. I need to create some sort of fulcrum. He sits on the coffee table, his legs under and tries to push her up, without success. Daphne: I've spent weeks watching meself expand. I kept hoping it would go away by itself. Niles: Well I'm sure all those sweets and lavish dinners I've heaped on you haven't helped. He crouches down behind her and tries pushing her up. Not happening. Daphne: It's not your fault. I just need to develop some willpower. Niles: I'll help you. We'll commit to a program of healthy eating and exercise. Together, there's nothing we can't... He tries to push a bit lower but his strength gives out and she slowly falls back on top of him. Niles: Maybe if I throw a rope over that beam. He squirms out from beneath her as Martin comes in. Martin: What happened? Niles: Oh, Daphne tripped over something and fell. Martin: Where's Eddie?! Oh my God! Eddie! Eddie! Eddie comes in from Daphne's room. Martin: [covering] Oh, there he is. I thought he might've ran away or somethin'. Niles: Oh, darling, look at that. Your ankle's swelling up already. [He points.] Daphne: It's the other one! Martin: Here, let me give you a hand. Daphne: Yeah, and no cracks, old man! I know I've gotten heavy and I've resolved to do something about it. Martin: All right, on three. One, two, three! They lift together, without results. Martin: Maybe the super has a hand truck. Daphne: Kill me! Frasier comes in. Frasier: Good lord, what happened? Niles: Daphne twisted her ankle and fell. Come help us lift her. Martin: Okay, boys, be careful. Use your legs. Working together, they lift Daphne up. She leans forward to get her balance. Daphne: Oh, bloody hell! I'm wearing two different shoes! The doorbell rings. Frasier goes to answer it as Niles helps Daphne off to her room. Martin: Daphne, I just thought of somethin' funny: It took three Cranes to lift you! Daphne glares at him and he suddenly finds it less funny. Frasier answers the door. It is Kenny. Frasier: Kenny. I thought you left hours ago. Kenny: I tried to, but I kept circling the block. I couldn't go home until I knew everything was taken care of. Frasier: Rest assured, you're off the hook. Kenny: Oh, thanks Doc. How did Janice take it? Frasier: I must say, she was rather attached to you, but I convinced her it was time to move on. Kenny: You're sure she's over me? 'Cause once I get under a lady's skin, I'm like a splinter. Frasier: I'm positive. Listen, Kenny, about Janice. There's something I'd like to ask you: See, we sort of hit it off. I made plans to see her again. Is that okay with you? Kenny: Are you kidding? Anything for the guy who saved my marriage. I only hope this woman makes you as happy as my wife makes me. He hugs Frasier. Frasier: Thanks. Okay. Let's save a little for the ladies, shall we? Kenny breaks the hug and laughs. FADE OUT. End of Act 1 Act 2 Scene 1 - Frasier's Apartment Fade in. Daphne comes in from her room as Frasier enters from the kitchen. Frasier: Oh, Daphne, listen. My date'll be here any second and I can't seem to find the water crackers. Daphne: Oh. Blame your brother. He cleared the kitchen of anything with any sugar, fat or flavor. Frasier: Ah, well. You know, I must say Daphne, I've admired your resolve the past few days. He heads for his room. Daphne: Oh, thank you, Dr. Crane. He exits. Daphne watches as he leaves, then goes to the bookshelf and pulls a box of chocolates from between two books. She opens it and quickly eats a couple. The doorbell rings. Daphne: Bloody hell. She closes the box and puts it back. Frantically chewing to finish the chocolates in her mouth, she goes to the door and opens it to reveal Niles. Daphne: Hi Niles. Niles: Hello, Daphne. Niles enters with a large box. Daphne: Oh, what's that? Niles: Here it is: the Body Sculptor 100! Guaranteed to work twelve muscle groups all at once. Daphne: I thought you were getting the 300. Niles: Ah, couldn't lift it. Set it up in your room? Daphne: Great, right behind you! As Niles exits to Daphne's room, she pulls the box of chocolates out again. Before she can have any, the doorbell rings again and she puts it back. Frasier comes from his room and Daphne hurries off to hers. Frasier answers the door. It is Kenny. Frasier: Oh, Kenny! Kenny: [entering] Sorry to barge in on you, I didn't know where else to turn. I think my wife's having an affair. Frasier: Oh, now, Kenny, try to calm down. Isn't it entirely possible that because you were thinking of cheating yourself, you're just projecting your guilt onto her? Kenny: No, no, Doc. She's been acting all weird lately. And tonight she went to a PTA meeting with her Wonder Bra jacked up to her chin. The doorbell rings. Frasier: Oh, lord, that'll be Janice. We have a date. Kenny: Oh, no, I don't want to see her! That might be a little awkward. Frasier: Right, right. Okay, tell you what: why don't you wait in my bedroom, it's right down the hall there. And I'll send her to the kitchen and come get you when the coast is clear. Kenny goes off to the bedrooms while Frasier opens the door to Mrs. Daly. Frasier: Oh, Janice, come on in. [She enters.] Here let me take your coat. She gives him her coat, revealing a rather low-cut dress. Frasier: Well, gosh, you look lovely. Mrs. Daly: Thank you. [She looks around.] What a nice place. I'm not used to a man with such good taste. Frasier: Oh, I'm sure that's not true. Mrs. Daly: Oh, it is, it is. Frasier: Janice, if you'll forgive me, I have something I need to take care of in the other room. I'll tell you what, why don't you head into the kitchen and select a wine. Mrs. Daly: Oh, I wouldn't know what to pick. Frasier: Well, all right. On the counter you'll find my wine log. Just select something from "Frasier's Favorites." She heads into the kitchen as Frasier goes to the bedrooms. CUT TO: Frasier's room. Kenny is pacing nervously as Frasier enters. Frasier: All right, Kenny, Janice is in the kitchen so you're free to go. Kenny: Go where? To an empty house? An all-night movie? Just walk the streets? Frasier: All those sound good. Kenny: I can't take it anymore! I'm gonna call her cell phone. I'll tell her I love her and demand she come home! Instead of crying on your shoulder, it's time I started acting like a man. Frasier: Good for you! He turns to leave. Kenny: Can you dial for me? My hands are sweaty. Frasier takes the phone. CUT TO: the living room. Daphne comes from her room, a towel around her neck and panting. Looking around to make sure no one is there, she goes to the box on top of the television. Opening it, she takes out an clair and takes a big bite. Niles: Daphne! She looks around, desperately, then puts the clair into the Chihuly sculpture by the hallway, pretending to dust it with her towel as Niles comes in from her room. Niles: Good news. I fixed the exercise machine. Turns out you didn't bend the frame, you just popped one of the springs. What are you doing? Daphne: Dr. Crane insisted I dust all knick-knacks before going out. Frasier comes in. Frasier: Ah, hello, Niles. Niles: Good God, man! Just because Daphne lives here doesn't mean she's at your beck and call twenty four hours a day! As soon as we finish our obliques, we're out of here whether you like it or not! He stomps off to Daphne's room. Daphne: Tyrant! She leaves to her room, leaving a confused Frasier to head for the kitchen. Frasier: Janice? Reset to: the kitchen. Mrs. Daly is on her cell phone. Mrs. Daly: Kenny, I'll have to call you back. Frasier comes in. Frasier: Hi. Have you selected a wine? Mrs. Daly: Uh, Frasier, I'm beginning to have second thoughts about this date. It's about Kenny. Frasier: Oh, lord, you're still thinking about Kenny. Listen, I know Kenny, I like Kenny, but he's married. Mrs. Daly: Well, I know... Frasier: And yet, he left his loving wife and family at home so he could go trolling bars for women. Mrs. Daly: Maybe he regrets that. Frasier: Oh yeah, sure. Men ALWAYS change. Mrs. Daly: Are you saying I can't trust him? Frasier: No. I'm saying that you deserve a man who thinks you're as special as I do. Mrs. Daly: You are very persuasive. Frasier: Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be back in one moment. Mrs. Daly: All right. Frasier exits. Reset to: the living room as he comes in. Martin is putting on his coat. Frasier: Dad! I thought you were going to clear out tonight. I've got a date. Kenny comes in. Kenny: Doc, I need you in the bedroom. He hurries back. Martin smirks. Martin: Pretty. Frasier: Very funny! Martin: I'm just taking Eddie for a walk and then I'll beat it on over to McGinty's, all right? As he heads for the bedroom, he notices something. He reaches into the sculpture and pulls out the clair. Frasier: Dad! For God's sake, how many times do I have to tell you, my Chihuly is not a trash can! He thrusts the clair into Martin's hand and stomps off. Martin looks confused a moment, then shrugs and takes a bite as he heads for the door. [SCENE_BREAK] CUT TO: Frasier's bedroom. Kenny is sitting on the bed, staring at his wallet photos. Frasier: All right, Kenny, time to go. Kenny: Look at her. How did I ever let a woman like this get away? Frasier ushers him out. Frasier: I'll tell you what, let me work up some preliminary thoughts over the weekend. Kenny: Look at this one. It's her at the Grand Canyon. I ask you: which one is the true natural wonder? Frasier looks at the picture in shock. Frasier: Oh, my God! Kenny: Yeah, those were the breast-feeding months. Good times. CUT TO: the living room. Daphne hurries across the room and looks in the Chihuly for her clair, confused at it's absence. The doorbell rings. She opens it to reveal Roz. Roz: Hey, Daphne. Daphne: Hi Roz, come on in. Roz: I can't stay, I just brought you that low-fat cookbook I was telling you about. Daphne: You look nice. Roz: Oh, thanks. I'm going to a club tonight. I got this new perfume that's just loaded with pheromones. Daphne: What are those? Roz: I don't know, some sort of hormone that's supposed to get a guy all excited. Daphne: [laughing] You really think it'll work? Roz: It's worth a try. After all it is approved by the "Food and Love Administration." Check it out. Daphne sniffs. Daphne: I don't smell anything. Roz: Really? Maybe I should put some more on. Do you mind? Daphne: No, go ahead. Roz goes into the powder room. CUT TO: Frasier's room. Kenny and Frasier are sitting on the bed. Kenny: What kind of person goes out with another man's wife and tears a family apart?! I mean there are children involved here! Frasier: All right now, listen, let's not get overly dramatic, all right? Kenny: God, if you're listening, let me have vengeance on his soul! [getting up] I gotta go. Frasier: No! No, no, no. You're only going to do something rash. I'll tell you what, Kenny, I want you to lie down on the bed. Kenny: What? Frasier: Yes, yes. This is a very effective anger management technique. Kenny: All right. [He lays down.] Frasier: There you go. Just lean back, close your eyes and count to a hundred... thousand. He hurries out. CUT TO: the living room. Janice is on the couch when Frasier comes in. Mrs. Daly: Oh, Frasier, I'm ready for that wine, now. [She holds up the glasses.] Frasier: You're Kenny's wife! Mrs. Daly: Oh, God! [She puts the wine down.] How did you find out? Frasier: He's in my bedroom. Mrs. Daly: What? Frasier: He came here asking for advice. He thought you were cheating on him, which you very nearly were. Mrs. Daly: I've gotta get out of here! He helps her with her coat. Frasier: Right. Why did you lie to me? Mrs. Daly: I was angry and hurt and mixed up and you were so nice to me and I don't know... Frasier: Listen, you have to understand something, Kenny loves you. Yes, he was attracted to someone, but please, you have to forgive him for that. I mean, after all, you were attracted to me. Mrs. Daly: That was more revenge. Frasier seems a bit put off by this. Frasier: Ah. Well, that's neither here nor there. [He opens the door for her.] Listen, it was nice to meet you. Mrs. Daly: It was nice to meet you. I just want to thank you. For making an ordinary housewife feel so... Kenny: [from the hallway] Hey, Doc? Frasier: Goodbye. He pushes her out and closes the door as Kenny comes in. Kenny: That anger management's a load of crap! Frasier: Kenny, Kenny. Your wife is not cheating on you. Don't ask me how I know that. Maybe it's because of the hundreds of people I've counseled over the years, maybe, maybe it's just a hunch, I don't know. It's just that yes, the two of you have problems, but they're the kinds of problems people have when they've been in a relationship a long time. All you need to do is talk. I want you to go home. I'm sure you'll find your wife there waiting for you. Kenny: I hope you're right. Thanks Doc. Frasier: Oh, any time. Kenny: [noticing] That's my wife's purse. Frasier: Hmm? That's not your wife's purse. Kenny: Yes it is. Frasier: No, it's not. Kenny: I know my wife's purse, I got it for her birthday. Frasier: Lots of women can have the same purse. Frasier goes over and picks it up. Kenny: Well, if it's not hers, why don't you let me see it? Frasier: Kenny, I've gotta tell you something. It's a little complicated and I'm sure that in the future we'll all have a good laugh over it. It's just that well, I did not have a date with Janice tonight. Kenny: Well, you had a date with someone. The wine, the fire... Frasier: Yes, yes, I did have a date. But it was with... Roz comes out of the powder room. Kenny: Roz? Frasier: Exactly. Roz: What are you guys talkin' about? To quiet her, Frasier grabs her and kisses her. Roz: Wow! That stuff really works. Maybe I should wipe some of it off. Frasier: Right. Here, take your purse. Roz: Wait, Frasier, what are you talking about? This isn't my... Frasier grabs her again and bends her over for another kiss. Martin comes in and walks past them. Martin: I don't want to know. He exits to the kitchen. Frasier breaks the kiss and shoves Roz into the powder room. Kenny: You dog! Oh, by the way, Doc, I owe you some chocolates. I got a little hungry in your room and I noticed that box of Fanny Farmers you got stuck between two books? Thanks again. He leaves as Niles and Daphne come in from her room. Frasier: [confused] I don't keep chocolate in my room... [He knocks on the powder room door.] Roz! Get out here. He pulls the door open, but Roz grabs the knob on the other side. Roz: Try to control yourself! She pulls the door shut, Niles and Daphne look at each other in confusion. Martin: Who stashed a box of doughnuts behind Eddie's dog food? Daphne: [quickly] Well, we better get going. Niles: Okay. He helps her on with her coat, but her hand pushes something out of the sleeve onto the floor. Niles picks it up to find it is a Toblerone bar. Niles: Daphne? Is there something you want to tell me? Daphne: [sheepishly] I love you? Niles: Anything else? Daphne: [breaking down] I love chocolate. And pastries and, oh God, I can't stop eating. I'm out of control. She starts to weep on Niles' shoulder. Niles: Come here, come here, it's all right my love. We're going to get you through this. Frasier: Of course we will, Daph. You know, there are professionals who can help. Martin: Yeah, they can wire your jaw shut, staple your stomach, put a balloon in your gut... Frasier: Thank you Dad! I was referring to something more like a spa, all right? Although you might look into that jaw thing! He and Martin glare at each other. Niles: Daphne, I, I think a spa is a wonderful idea. They can oversee your diet and plan your exercise and help you understand why you're overeating. Frasier: Yes. Most importantly, Daphne, you should know that we love you, and you're not alone. Daphne: Oh, thank you. Roz comes out of the powder room. Frasier: Roz! Roz: No! You stay right there! I don't blame you, I blame the people at Mantastic. She hurries out as the others look at Frasier in confusion. [SCENE_BREAK] Niles is going around the apartment with Daphne, collecting all her hidden treats. They pull some things from an end table, then empties a drawer from the TV credenza. She thinks for a moment, then goes to the balcony doors. She pulls the end off of Martin's telescope and takes a pack of cookies from inside.

Kenny appears at Frasier's apartment in a panic, and explains that he has a date with a woman, Janis, who he met in a bar. Frasier, realizing that Kenny does not want to jeopardize his marriage, offers to go to the restaurant and make his apologies to Janis. But Janis left a message on Kenny's answering machine at home, and Kenny's wife went to the restaurant, chased Janis away, then sat and waited for her husband. Frasier arrives, and assumes that she is Janis, and she decides not to tell him the truth. They end up dining together, and Frasier believes he has saved Kenny's marriage. However, when they decide to meet again, Kenny starts to suspect that his wife is having an affair. Meanwhile, Daphne has now gained so much weight that even Niles cannot ignore it, especially when she has a fall in the apartment and it takes all three Crane men to lift her back up.

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_21x04

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_21x04_0

WARRIORS OF THE DEEP BY: JOHNNY BYRNE Part Four First Air Date: 13 January 1984 Running time: 24:48 [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: How do you do? I'm the Doctor. Haven't we met before? [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH: What's this? BULIC: A ventilation shaft. [SCENE_BREAK] TARPOK: The Sea Devil warriors have captured the reactor room. ICHTAR: Excellent. VORSHAK: Allow my crew to surrender. ICHTAR: It is they who insist upon fighting. SCIBUS: The damage is assessed, Ichtar. The computer can be restored to normal functioning. ICHTAR: Perfect. DOCTOR: Ichtar. TEGAN: You know him? DOCTOR: Yes. I thought he'd been killed. ICHTAR: Remove these people from the bridge. DOCTOR: You do not recognise me now, but we are known to each other. ICHTAR: You are mistaken. Take him away. DOCTOR: No, wait, wait, please. In an earlier regeneration you knew me as the Doctor. ICHTAR: The Doctor? You can prove what you say? DOCTOR: I know that you are Ichtar, the surviving leader of the noble Silurian Triad. When we last met I tried to mediate between you and the people of Earth. ICHTAR: So it is you. DOCTOR: May we speak? ICHTAR: The Doctor and Commander Vorshak will remain. Remove the others. ICHTAR: I will listen to what you say, but I should tell you that the Silurians have long since abandoned the way of mediation. DOCTOR: So it seems. Why? A civilised race like yours, waging unprovoked war? ICHTAR: Defensive war, Doctor. There is a distinction. Silurian law forbids any other. DOCTOR: Defensive? There's no such thing. When we last met, your supreme wish was to live at peace with the other inhabitants of this planet. Now, why change such an enlightened policy now? ICHTAR: Our policy has always been peaceful survival. All that has changed is the means by which it can be achieved. DOCTOR: What, by actions such as we've seen here? ICHTAR: You forget. Twice we offered the hand of friendship to these ape-descended primitives, and twice we were treacherously attacked, our people slaughtered. It will not happen again. DOCTOR: There can be no alternative to peaceful co-existence. ICHTAR: There is, Doctor. A final solution. DOCTOR: Genocide? When everything you Silurians hold sacred forbids it? ICHTAR: We will harm no one. These ape primitives will destroy themselves. We, Doctor, will merely provide the pretext. DOCTOR: You'll trigger the war this Base was designed to fight. ICHTAR: Yes. And these human beings will die as they have lived, in a sea of their own blood. [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN (OOV.): Let go! Let go of me, you **** TEGAN: Leave me alone! Let go of me. TEGAN: You're alive. TURLOUGH: Alive, well, and trying to escape. Would one of you mind keeping watch, please? PRESTON: I will. [SCENE_BREAK] TARPOK: Binary circuits of the computer are now functioning. ICHTAR: Can we activate the missile data banks? TARPOK: We will need the Commander's hand scan for clearance. VORSHAK: You'll get no help from me, Silurian. ICHTAR: Your hand scan, Commander. I will not ask again. DOCTOR: I would do as he says if I were you, Commander. VORSHAK: No. DOCTOR: Alive or dead, they can still use your hand scan, and while there's life there's also hope. ICHTAR: Thank you, Doctor. VORSHAK: Those missiles will never leave their pads, not without a sync operator to complete the firing sequence. DOCTOR: Not so. VORSHAK: A sync operator is our insurance against unauthorised launch. DOCTOR: If my guess is right, that little piece of Silurian gadgetry will more than make up for the lack of a sync operator unless we're able to do something about it. [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH: Back to the TARDIS. TEGAN: No, not the TARDIS, the bridge. They've got the Doctor up there as well as the Commander. Do you think we can get them both away? TURLOUGH: What is it about Earth people that makes them think a futile gesture is a noble one? TEGAN: Turlough BULIC: You would prefer we left our friends to die? TURLOUGH: If there was any chance of saving them, I'd be the first to go, but there isn't! TEGAN: Look, we don't know until we've checked. Coming? [SCENE_BREAK] SCIBUS: The missiles are retargeted. ICHTAR: Excellent. DOCTOR: Do you intend to explode those missiles in space? ICHTAR: Yes. DOCTOR: Launching those things will trigger a holocaust. You'll destroy everyone. ICHTAR: The Silurians and Sea Devils will survive. DOCTOR: To be masters of a dead planet. ICHTAR: Not quite, Doctor. Still safely hidden away in deep hibernation is the true life force of this planet. When restored, our civilisation will rule the Earth once more. DOCTOR: I see. [SCENE_BREAK] PRESTON: All clear. PRESTON: Turlough. TURLOUGH: What's the matter? PRESTON: They would have stood a better chance if we'd gone with them. TURLOUGH: A better chance of what, of dying? I don't think so. I think they'll manage that very nicely themselves, thank you. PRESTON: Look TURLOUGH: Put your foot in. PRESTON: Really. TURLOUGH: Come on. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: What about us? Are we included in your final solution? ICHTAR: We bear you no malice, Doctor. Once we have finished here, you and your companions will be released. DOCTOR: And the rest of these people? ICHTAR: They will die. An act of mercy, since there will be nobody for them to rejoin. Commander, you will please join me at the master console. DOCTOR: Commander. VORSHAK: Yes, I know. [SCENE_BREAK] BULIC: The Doctor. [SCENE_BREAK] ICHTAR: Initiate the test firing sequence. [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: Did he see you? BULIC: Yes, and he'd better hurry. It can't be long before they discover we've escaped. DOCTOR: Excellent timing. Is Turlough safe? TEGAN: Yes. DOCTOR: Lead on. BULIC: But aren't we going to get the Commander out? DOCTOR: Impossible. They need him in there. BULIC: Well, we must at least try. DOCTOR: Not here, not now. We'll come back for him, I promise. TEGAN: Where are we going? DOCTOR: The chemical store. [SCENE_BREAK] PRESTON: This way. [SCENE_BREAK] SAUVIX: The primitives have escaped. ICHTAR: Explain. SAUVIX: Where is the Doctor? ICHTAR: Commander? Find the Doctor. Find the primitives. Kill them! [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH: They must be mopping up survivors. PRESTON: Or your friends. Either way, shouldn't we help them? [SCENE_BREAK] ICHTAR: Connect the manipulator. [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: Hurry up, Doctor. DOCTOR: Shush. TURLOUGH: Doctor. DOCTOR: Turlough. TURLOUGH: You didn't think I'd leave you? TEGAN: It never crossed my mind. PRESTON: Where were you going? DOCTOR: The chemical store. BULIC: This way. [SCENE_BREAK] ICHTAR: Is the computer fully operational? TARPOK: Restored and tested. ICHTAR: Then align the manipulator to the computer. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Watch the doors. TEGAN: What are we looking for? DOCTOR: An alternative to this. Something less lethal that will do the job just as well. PRESTON: Do you know what the Silurians want? DOCTOR: Oh yes, all in all they were very forthcoming, really. They intend to launch your missiles and trigger a war to end all wars, between your people, of course. TURLOUGH: Doctor! PRESTON: What happened? DOCTOR: Hexachromite. It does that to all reptile life. PRESTON: Then use it on the invaders. DOCTOR: And kill them? PRESTON: Why not? They're about to start a war that will destroy everyone on Earth. DOCTOR: I sometimes wonder why I like the people of this miserable planet so much. The Silurians and Sea Devils are noble races. They have skills and talents you pathetic humans can only dream about. TURLOUGH: That doesn't alter what they're about to do. DOCTOR: No. No, and we must stop them. TEGAN: What's the alternative? DOCTOR: Something that will disable rather than kill. [SCENE_BREAK] TARPOK: Manipulator aligned with the computer. SCIBUS: Alignment confirmed. ICHTAR: Good. Then we can proceed. ICHTAR: Is this a practice missile run? VORSHAK: It's impossible to tell. ICHTAR: Check the manipulator. SCIBUS: Readings confirm a computer controlled practice run. ICHTAR: It is time to stop this game. Activate the manipulator. Launch the missiles. [SCENE_BREAK] BULIC: Missile alert. PRESTON: Doctor DOCTOR: Yes, I hear. What does it mean? BULIC: Final countdown is imminent. TURLOUGH: What are you going to do? TEGAN: You must decide, Doctor. Billions of people could die. DOCTOR: Yes, all right. Turlough, get the grill open. Preston, fetch that pump. We have to feed the gas into the ventilation system. [SCENE_BREAK] SCIBUS: Missiles are armed and targeted. VORSHAK: You're mad. ICHTAR: The ape primitives have developed this weaponry. We cannot be held responsible for it. VORSHAK: Contact the heads of governments. Tell them your demands. They'll listen. ICHTAR: Your people have already had their chance. VORSHAK: Try one more time, for pity's sake. ICHTAR: It is too late for pity. It is much too late. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: It'll take some time for the gas to spread throughout the Base. TEGAN: Will it be fast enough? DOCTOR: I hope it won't be necessary at all. If I can get to the bridge in time, I may be able to reason with Ichtar, persuade him to abandon the missile run. TURLOUGH: You've tried that already. DOCTOR: Yes, well, this time I'll have something to back my argument. [SCENE_BREAK] ICHTAR: Soon it'll all be over. TARPOK: There is computer resistance to the manipulator. VORSHAK: I said you wouldn't succeed. ICHTAR: Increase power, Tarpok. It seems that your computers are as stubborn as you are, Commander. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Now, I want you all to go back to the TARDIS. You'll be safer there whatever happens. BULIC: We've gone to yellow alert. DOCTOR: I must go. SAUVIX: So, Doctor, I have found you. [SCENE_BREAK] ICHTAR: Speak. SAUVIX (OOV.): I have found the Doctor. ICHTAR: And you have your orders. Kill him. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: You must listen to me. SAUVIX: No, Doctor, you must die. But first, switch off the pump. TEGAN: She's dead. DOCTOR: A waste. TEGAN: Well, don't let her death count for nothing. DOCTOR: No. No, I must get to the bridge. TEGAN: Doctor, you'll need some help. DOCTOR: Yes, all right. Bring oxygen. We may need it. [SCENE_BREAK] SCIBUS: The computer has stabilised. TARPOK: The manipulator has regained control. ICHTAR: Now do you believe me, Commander? [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: It's working, and quickly. I can't bargain with Ichtar if his guards are dead. [SCENE_BREAK] VORSHAK: No! ICHTAR: Fetch him. VORSHAK: I will not be responsible for the destruction of my own kind. ICHTAR: The final phase. ICHTAR: Disarm them! You're just in time to witness the missile launch, Doctor. DOCTOR: No, wait. Your warriors are dying everywhere. Abandon the base. TEGAN: Look, it's hexachromite gas. DOCTOR: Abandon the launch! There's still time to save your own lives. ICHTAR: There are millions more ready to replace us. DOCTOR: Who will replace you? With you dies the last of the Triad, the custodians of your race. What will become of your people then? ICHTAR: You talk in vain, Doctor. Kill them! Kill them! DOCTOR: Bulic, turn off the gas! ICHTAR: Commence ignition, Scibus! DOCTOR: The missiles are set to fire. How long have we got? VORSHAK: Less than three minutes. DOCTOR: What's the abort procedure? VORSHAK: Well, a phased electrical charge aimed directly at the ignition circuit. It restores the launch to simulation. DOCTOR: Well, it must be done at once. VORSHAK: It's impossible. Only a sync operator can do it, and Maddox is dead. DOCTOR: Well, I shall have to try. VORSHAK: But the computer would burn out your mind in seconds. DOCTOR: Oh, you have a better idea? VORSHAK: Very well, get into the seat. TURLOUGH: Doctor, try to disconnect the computer first. DOCTOR: No, no, there isn't time. VORSHAK: He's right. We're already on final countdown to ignition. DOCTOR: Tegan, look after the Silurians. Give them oxygen. VORSHAK: Now, I can perform the manual tasks, but you will have to do the rest. TEGAN: Good luck, Doctor. TURLOUGH: The strain's too great. He'll never manage it. VORSHAK: No. No, his mind is synchronised with the computer. Doctor, can you hear me? VORSHAK: I'm going to switch you through to the ignition circuit. TURLOUGH: The oxygen isn't having much effect. TEGAN: This one's coming round. TURLOUGH: See to the other Silurian there. VORSHAK: I've isolated the ignition circuit, Doctor. Can you identify it? Nod if you can. VORSHAK: Concentrate, Doctor. I will now feed in the charge. To burn out the circuit, concentrate and direct it. TEGAN: Turlough! VORSHAK: The charge must be in phase with the pulse of the circuit. If not, it will destroy you. TURLOUGH: Look out, Commander. VORSHAK: Now concentrate, Doctor. Let nothing distract you. VORSHAK: Now, Doctor! VORSHAK: You've done it. VORSHAK: He did it! TEGAN: He's alive. TURLOUGH: The Commander wasn't so lucky, I'm afraid. He's been shot. DOCTOR: Did I succeed? TEGAN: Yes, Doctor. TURLOUGH: They're all dead, you know. DOCTOR: There should have been another way.

The Doctor is presented with a moral dilemma when Icthar reveals his plans to get rid of the human race so the Silurians can take back what was once theirs.

fd_Glee_01x01

fd_Glee_01x01_0

Scene 1: Soccer field - Sue, Pom-pom girls The cheerleaders, known as Cheerios are training. At the end of a delivery girl falls of the pyramid and doing all miss. Sue: You find it hard? Try it dipped it's hard. Scene 2: High School Parking - Will, Puck, Finn, Kurt, members of the football team A car in poor condition, pulls in the parking lot of the school. Pulls out a teacher, Will. He sees the football team surround a student next to a trash can. Will: New friends, Kurt? Puck: It is clear, Mr. Schue. Will: Hey Finn, I'm still waiting on your homework "What hace su pasado verano"? Finn: What? Will: What did you do this summer. Finn: I'm almost half done, Mr. Shue. Puck: Knock it! Puck is beginning to Kurt, with a friend. Kurt: This is the new Mark Jacobs! Finn: Wait. (They are based on. Kurt gives her his jacket) Okay. Kurt is hanging in the trash. Scene 3: Corridor - Will Will is in the hallway, he looks at the storefront where the trophies of the school choir and a picture of the last director of the latter having had a victory in a contest. On a sign says "By definition, singing along is to open his heart to joy". He seems to have an ulterior motive. Scene 4: Spanish Hall - Will students Students are taking Spanish classes, including Finn, who seems to be elsewhere. Will rehearse sentences in Spanish. Will: Como esta usted? Yo me llamo Guillermo. Students: Como esta usted? Yo me llamo Guillermo. Will: What lastima, that is hojala sienta mejor. Rapido. Students: What lastima ... The bell rings. Scene 5: Choir Room - Sandy, Hank In the choir room, a student, Hank, rehearsing a musical with the current teacher of singing, Sandy. He sings "Where Is Love?". At the end of the song, Sandy touches her belly. Scene 6: Teachers' Corner - Will, Emma Sue, Tanaka During the break, Will discovers that there is more coffee in the staffroom. Will: Where's the coffee? Tanaka: Figgins is to rid. Economies. I am reliably informed, they have always coffee at Carver. Let us strike. The coach of Cheerios, Sue, arrives with coffee. Sue: Hi boys. A boost? Tanaka: The cappuccinos. Emma, the counselor education in turn comes, she sits at a table .. Sue: I'm hard for the coffee. The secret of successful cappuccino is the temperature of steamed milk. I like it hot. Tanaka: Hi Emma. Emma: Hi Ken. Will, good morning. Cappuccino? Sue: I feel so guilty that Figgins has sacrificed the coffee to pay a dietician to my daughters. Emma: You blew the budget of $ 600 for it. Sue: If my artists have gone on Fox Sports is not in itself empiffrant bacon. Emma: Since when cheerleaders are artists? Sue: Your resentment is delicious. I have an appointment in a few minutes, a telephone conversation with most media. I will use my Iphone.Benefit. Will: Thank you, Sue. Sue goes. Tanaka: You've missed the meeting of the singles last weekend. Emma: Right. A pipeline has exploded in my building. (She cleans the table with gloves, Will looks surprised) Crazy. And I do not like these meetings, it is a cattle fair. Just ... I gave my number to a firefighter. He did not call. Will: Everyone has somewhere else, I'm sure. Emma: Did you know that Sandy Robson's been fired? Will: Really? Who will take the choir? Emma: I know. Scene 7: Office of the Principal Figgins - Will Figgins Will sat in the principal's office Figgins, they discuss. Will: I would take the choir. Figgins: And the command of the Titanic? Will: I can resurrect it. There is no joy in these kids. They feel invisible.That's why they're all on Myspace. Figgins: $ 60 per month. To run the choir. Will: I'm supposed to pay? Figgins: It will not be me. It is not our cheerleaders. They were on Fox Sports last year. When the choir will give the same school, you have the budget. Until then, $ 60 per month and you use the same costumes and accessories. The carpentry workshop uses the stools. Scene 8: At Will - Terri, Will Will and his wife Terri are in bed. This last sleeping while Will thinks. Will (Voiceover): Hide $ 60 to Terry, my wife would drive. But more difficult, how was I going to motivate these kids? Above all, we needed a new name. (He gets up quickly from his bed, happy) "New Directions". Scene 9: Hall, Auditorium - Mercedes Registrations have begun, a student first, Mercedes, fits. Mercedes: My name is Mercedes Jones and I sing ... She sings "RESPECT". Scene 10: Hall, Auditorium - Kurt, Will A second student, Kurt, also falls. Kurt: Hi, I'm Kurt Hummel. I will sing Mr. Cellophane. He sang "Mr. Cellophane". Scene 11: Hall, Auditorium - Tina, Artie, Will Two other students have added their names, Artie Adams and Tina C. Tina: Tina C. "I Kissed A Girl". She sings "I kissed a girl". Scene 12: Hall, Auditorium - Rachel, Will A final approach to the student registration form and writing his name. Rachel: Hi, I'm Rachel Berry. I will sing "On My Own" and the precursor of classic Broadway, Les Mis rables. Will: Awesome. We listen to you. She began singing "On my own". Rachel (Voiceover): It seems silly for me to follow my signature to a gold star. But it's a metaphor. And metaphors, it is important. These stars are the metaphor I am myself a star. (She takes a slushie in the head, the part of Puck. Then she walks quickly down the hall, angry) And I will be clear, and dispel the rumor which I hate as revealed homosexuality Robsonbecause he gave my solo Hank Saunders. Crap. Scene 13: Office of the Principal Figgins - Rachel Figgins Rachel is in the principal's office, she cries and reveals to him a "rumor". Rachel: He fiddled with Hank and caressed. It was wrong! Rachel (Voiceover): I am not homophobic. (In the corridor, it is at his locker) Both my parents are gay. I am a love child. They chose the surrogate mother for her IQ and her beauty. (She looks at the photo of his fathers) They mixed their sperm and used the turkey baster. We still do not know who my real father, which I find pretty awesome. (We see her young in a tap class) My father stuffed me of art. I had dance lessons, singing, what was needed for me to grasp my chance. (Back to today, she is on her computer) You might think that the boys jump all over me, but I'm too busy to flirt Myspace. (She prepares the equipment and started recording vocals) I try to post a video a day to maintain and develop my talent. Nowadays, being unknown is worse than being poor. The glory is all that matters in our cultures. And I know now, we do not offer it on a tray. She continues to sing "On My Own". In the gym, Cheerios see her video and laugh. Back in the auditorium, Rachel sings for the hearing. You see her take a slushie in the figure, in the hallway. Then, back in the auditorium. Will: Very pretty, Rachel. Rachel is repeated when? Scene 14: Choir Room - New Directions, Will The New Directions are rehearsing for their first song with choreography.She sings "Sit down, you're rocking the boat." At the end, Will does not look happy and the students either. Rachel: There is a concern. Will: It's ... This will be achieved. We just need to repeat. Rachel: Mr. Schuester, you realize how ridiculous it is to see the soloist of "Sit Down You're Rocking the Boat" in a wheelchair? Artie: Mr. Shue use of irony in order to enhance performance. Rachel: There's nothing ironic in the choir. Rachel goes ennerv e. Will: Rachel ... Rachel ... Scene 15: Soccer field - Sue, cheerleader, Rachel, Will, Tanaka Cheerios train on the football field, Sue ennerve as usual. Sue: This is soft! You are baby soft! Totally ugly! And remove the pallor of the agony of your looks! Lance, do not start to cry. You are the weakest link. How does it feel to be the weak link? Not good, that's for sure. Will arrives in the stands where Rachel. It sits next. Will: You got off your costume. Rachel: Fed up being made fun of me. Will: You're the best in the group. It's the price. Rachel: I know I'm in first, but the clock is ticking and I want to leave high school with nothing to show. Will: You're a great student and an excellent singer. Rachel: Everybody hates me. Will: And the choir is going to change that? Rachel: Being good at something will change that. Be part of something special makes you special, right? I need a soloist at my level. Will: I can coach a little Artie. Rachel: I appreciate your efforts, but if I do not have what I need, sorry, I do not ridicule. I can not waste my time with the choir. It hurts too much. Tanaka comes to see Will in cart. Tanaka: Schuester! Figgins want to see you! Will goes to see the principal, leaving Rachel. Scene 16: Office of the Principal Figgins - Will Figgins Will Figgins and discusses the main choir. Will: We just started the rehearsals. Figgins: My hands are tied. I need the auditorium. Alcoholics Anonymous want to rent it for their meetings. Full of drunks in this town. They pay $ 10 per head. Will: If you go to the regional, the choir remains, if the bar opens in the auditorium. Figgins: What do you have with this club? You only have five kids and one of them is lame. Will: You have nothing to fear. Figgins: Good. (Will is happy) But you monitor glue in my place. Will: OK. Scene 17: Shop Terri - Terri, employee, Will, Sandy In the store "Sheets N'thing" Terri talks to his employee. Terri: You put your hands in the corners like that. Howard: I can not do. I am dyslexic. I should deal only with towels and gloves. Terri: If you can not fold a sheet you can not work in Sheets and Company. Client: Employed in the Service. Terri: Go ahead. Make sure they have a receipt. Howard and Will comes back to work. Will: It is beautiful today. Terri: You are very handsome. Will: Thank you. (He gives her her lunch) Roast beef with black bread, your favorite. Terri: With mayo? Will: Yes. Terri: Will, if my diabetes comes back, I can not be pregnant. What's your problem? Will: I wanted to tell you that I will work late the next few months. I will monitor the adhesives after class. Terri: What? Will: A market with Figgins, so it does not kill the choir. Terri: But I'm up four hours a day, three times a week. I come home and I have to cook? Howard comes to interrupt. Howard: This lady wants to make his sheets but ... it seems we had was another accident in bed. Terri: You see what I suffer here? (She goes, ennerv e by Will and his work) She has never heard of layers? Will finds himself alone and hears someone familiar. It deviates the sheets of the shelf. Sandy: Of course the towels have contextures, Mr. Sheets and Company.What are you doing? I read the catalogs. I know these things. Less than 400 contextures and I can have impetigo. It is easy to understand. (While trying to go incognito Will he shows) William. Will Sandy? Sandy: Well hello, how's it going? I heard that you had taken the choir. Will: I hope you're not angry. Sandy: Are you kidding? Out of this whirlpool of despair, the best thing that ever happened to me. Do not misunderstand. It was not easy at first.Be dismissed and the reason ... My long distance girlfriend of Cleveland failed to break with me. (He takes a pillow) Lord, you do not like that monkey? It took me weeks to get over my depression. Will: You've been treated? Sandy: Better, medicinal marijuana. It's great. I just told my Dr. Feelgood I had trouble sleeping and he gave me everything I wanted. I find the system quite lucrative. Will: You deales? Sandy: I am 5 times more than when I was a teacher. I keep a little and I make profits with the rest. Will: Who you sell? Flashback Sandy giving drugs to Tanaka. Sandy: You want some? Will: No. I tried once in college, but Terri and I are trying to have a baby. Will Sandy but insists he puts in his pocket. Sandy: Packing house and the first is free. Come on, it's you who coaches these idiots acne deaf to music, you'll need to see. (An employee comes to see) It looks like vomit. I have to do everything. Call me. Come. What is your problem? It's terrible. Sandy returns to business. Will leave the store. Scene 18: Office of Sue - Will Sue Will knock at the door of Sue, it cleans his trophies. Will: Hi, Sue. You have a second? Sue: Of course, small. Between. Scene 19: Outside School - Emma, Will Emma walks out of high school, she sets foot on a piece of chewing gum.Will, at that time, arrives to talk to him. Will: You have a second? It's chewing gum? Scene 20: Office of Sue - Will Sue Will still discussing with Sue, for hiring in the choir. Sue: You want to convince my pom-pom to join the choir? Will: I need more kids, singers. Are the best to you, some may want to make the 2. Sue: What are you doing here is called the limits. The school is a caste system. The kids fall in boxes. Athletes and popular kids are on the upper floors. The invisible and addicted to role playing in the forest, are on the ground floor. Will: And .. Those are where the choir? Sue: In the cellar. Scene 21: Outside School - Emma, Will Will has sat next to Emma, he tries to remove the chewing gum under his shoe. Emma: Sue is not wrong, but nothing is set in the rock. Children do what they think is cool. It's not necessarily them. Finds a way to extract them from their box. Will: How? Emma: They follow the leader. If you have one or two popular kids, the others will follow. Scene 22: Around the football field - Will, Tanaka Will makes a jog along Tanaka, who is in her cart. Will: I just want to talk to them. Tanaka: I do not know, man. I see none of my guys join the choir. Last month, one of them had to shave their eyebrows, because he watched Grey's Anatomy. Will: We just need you to introduce me. Tanaka: Okay. But speak well of me to Emma. Tanaka continues on. Scene 23: Outside School - Emma, Will Back out of high school. Will manages to remove chewing gum. Will: Well, Cinderella. Emma: Thank you. I have problems with stuff like that, the dirty tricks. It's nice to see how much you want to the choir. To children. Scene 24: Office of Sue - Will Sue Sue talks about the choir with Will. Sue: If you wanted these children, you let them alone. The kids love to know where they go, so let your little singers have their own little club, but does not claim that each is someone he is not. Scene 25: Changing - Will, Tanaka, football team Tanaka interrupts the team players, beginning to change, to present Will. Tanaka: In circle. Mr. Schuester will speak. Do not listen and you will do laps. You open laps. Got it? They are yours. Will: Thank you. Hi all. I recognize the Spanish course. I want to talk about something else: music. The lack of choir boys. I let out a registration form at the entrance if someone tries it ... Thank you. Tanaka: Rest. Players are leaving. Will: Do you sleep well? You have red eyes. Tanaka: I have allergies. Will: OK. Thank you again. Will goes. Tanaka puts eye drops. Scene 26: Changing - Will Finn Will, in the locker room, looking out the registration form, which was damaged. Will (Voiceover): I thought it was the end of the dream that was crazy "New Directions". Desperate, upon leaving, he hears Finn, one of the players, singing "Can not Fight This Feeling" in the shower. Will (Voiceover): I suddenly remembered my primary motivation. See the talent that these kids have ignored. Talent in its purest form. What I did next ... this moment was the vilest of my life. Scene 27: Office of Will - Finn, Will Finn was called to the office of Will. The latter is sitting across from him. It raises the drug that Sandy had given him on the table. Will: When did you use? Finn: I do not even know who is Chronic Lady. Will: If it were up to me, you would only selected few. Finn: I've never seen it, I swear. I can do a urine test. I piss ... Will: It changes nothing. In possession is illegal. What you did is a crime.(Finn was upset) We will transfer you to the school. You will lose your athletic scholarship. Finn: What? I had a scholarship? (He is surprised and pleased) to go where? Will: Maybe in prison. Finn: Oh, my God. Do not tell my mother. Will: I looked a lot like you, Finn. I know how difficult it is to make good choices and I do not wanna see you ruin your future. I expect better from you. Finn (Voiceover): I am touched when Mr. Schuester said that. Because every day, I expect better from me. I appear confident and all but I have the same problems as others: peer pressure, acne. (He thinks when he was young) I do not know my father. He died in Iraq when bin Laden was fighting the first time. Finn played drums alongside his mother, who calls. Carol: Finn! Finn! I'm online. (He stops playing) I want to take my leave on Saturday instead of next to go scout club Finn. Finn (Voiceover): I am very close to my mother, but a single mother has a tough life. (He thinks the man who remade his lawn) His only joy was to ruin in order at Emerald Dreams. Darren was nice and he took me with him. (They sing a song by painting the lawn) It was the first time I heard real music. It electrified me. Darren: You will keep, buddy. Seriously, if I had your voice, my group would still exist. Keep it up. Finn (Voiceover): (Seeing a bimbo in the car of Darren) My mother took it badly as Darren leaves her for this girl he met in the bazaar. This is where I decided to do everything to make her proud and show that his efforts were worth it. Will: You have two options. I take care deductions, then you can make 6 weeks, but it will remain in your folder. Finn: And the other option? Scene 28: Auditorium - New Directions, Will Finn began singing "You're the one that I want", accompanied by Rachel.Everyone is surprised by the voice of Finn, Rachel goes on a little choreography, until Mercedes stops everything. Mercedes: Damn non. What is the story of singer. I'm Beyonce, Kelly Rowland not. Will: Listen Mercedes, it's just a song. Kurt: And this is the first time it is almost good. Mercedes: OK, you handle, white beak. I grant you. But you're not allowed to make mistakes. We're returning. Will: Okay, here we go. The beginning. Scene 29: At Terri - Will, Terri Will and Terri are a puzzle. Will: You do not often get me here. Terri: It's fun, right? And stimulating. On Wednesday evening we will puzzle. Because I know how you love creative activities. Will: The children worked so hard. I will organize an outing next Saturday.Carmel High School will provide entertainment. Carmel is our biggest rival. And I was wondering if you would be willing to accompany us. Terri: Saturday? No, I can not. I have to work overtime '. We live day to day. Will: And how much hand in decorating budget? Terri: What are you talking? (She lies. Will go in the closet) No cabinet Christmas! Will: I was looking for my jacket the other day. There was no means for them. Terri: It could. (She rises ennerv e) I am close to have a promotional Christmas week. I can become part Menken and recruits. Will: Teaching is my passion. And I want to be an accountant. Terri: According to Dr. Phil, we can change. It's not bad to want a real life and a glue gun that works! It's hard for me to have to settle for less. Will: (Takes objects) You need three racks in mahogany brush? Terri: It's Balinese! (She approaches him and takes him) It's not wrong to have desires. I understand your interest in these kids. Really. It allows you to find the good old days. But I'm not a cheerleader, and you are no longer the pretty boy. The high school is over ... for both of us. It's time to move on. Terri goes. Will is left alone, just ennerv . Scene 30: Teachers' Corner - Will, Emma, Tanaka Tanaka grinds sheets watching Emma, who eats alone at a table. Will hangs a registration form for leaders of the choir during the trip. As soon as he is gone, Emma will be part, happy. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene 31: Soccer field - Tanaka, Finn, Puck Puck launches balloons on a player, he hears Finn and Tanaka yelling on the sidelines. Tanaka: You're the quarterback. No, not that. To you to see. You're a footballer or singer. He returns to the field and joined the Puck. Puck: What was he? Finn: I missed training on Saturday. This is my mother. I must help in the kitchen and the rest. Puck: Why? Finn: It has to have surgery. Puck: What? Finn: She got off the ... prostate. Puck: Hey, it's not luck. Finn: It was clogged. Scene 32: Soccer field - Sue On the training of Cheerios, Sue ennerve, as always. Sue: Is it hard? I have hepatitis, that's hard. Scene 33: Hall of the show - Finn, Rachel, Emma, Will, Quinn In the cafeteria of the hall, where will be the spectacle of Vocal Adrenaline, a rival choir, Rachel Finn, Will and Emma are lining up and discuss. Rachel: You've got talent. Finn: You think so? Rachel: I can tell, I have a lot too. The rest of the team together so we must wait. You, the sexy leading man and I, the dazzling young ingenue welcomed by all. Finn: I have a girlfriend. Rachel: Really? Who? Finn: Quinn Fabray. Rachel: (Surprised) The cheerleader? The club president of the chaste. Finn back at a time with it. They were kissing on the couch. Quinn: Wait, pray together. He is desperate, because it took. Finn: It's been almost four months. It's nice. I wonder if they were candy. They advance to buy food. At this time, Will and Emma are a little further, waiting. Will: These sausages seem to have waited a long time. Emma: We share a peanut butter sandwich? Will: That will suit me. Emma: Sure? Will: Yes, let's go. (They go out of the queue and sit down) Excuse me. I have not eaten this kind of sandwich for ages. Emma: Oh? Will: My wife is allergic to nuts. Emma: That's very nice to miss at the same time. Really. It is quite noisy, but they are clean. Will: (It tastes) Oh, my God. Emma: That's it. Since when you are married? Will: Five years in March. Emma: Really? Will: But we're together since high school. Emma: You ... Will: It was me first girlfriend, in fact. Emma: Love at first sight? Will: For me yes. She seemed so happy. Emma: And now? Signaling the start of the show comes on. Will: Curtain! My problems bore you. They get up and go to the entrance. Emma: No, quite the contrary. I'd like to listen to you ... I'm sorry that you have marital problems. I hear often, I'm psycho. Will: So there. Terri takes me a cracking pace and I always enjoyed it. I think she just wants me to improve. But recently, I wonder what? Earn more? Rise in rank? (He hands the tickets) Thank you. I know not. I love her, no doubt. We were always in agreement. Emma: The sandwich you like it? Will: I've never eaten better. Scene 34: Auditorium of the show - Will, Emma, New Directions They are all sitting and waiting for the show begins. Will: Guys, this is supposed to be our competition but I find them not as strong as we. Let the public good, with respect worthy of us. Presenter: A homegrown ovation for the winners of last year. Vocal Adrenaline! The Vocal Adrenaline sings "Rehab" to the public. Tina: We're screwed. They are surprised and worried after delivery. Scene 35: Outside School - Puck, Finn, members of the football team Finn walks alone outside the school and come back, where he finds Puck and members of the football team with paintball guns. Puck: Chicks not have a prostate. I checked. You cheated. And you will be punished for that. They surround against the wall. Finn: Wait, wait. You hold the power here, right? No need to do that. They shot him. Scene 36: At Will - Terri, Will Will goes home, Terri welcome. Terri: That's my man. Will: Honey. I'm surprised. Celebrating what? Terri: We have not won anything yet. I am pregnant. Will: Really? Terri: Yes. Will: Do not carries me. My God, it's incredible. We will form a family. (He takes her in his arms) I can not believe it! They are both happy and excited. Scene 37: Auditorium - Will, New Directions Will tells them he left the choir. Artie: You're leaving? When? Will: In two weeks. But before you go I will find a good replacement. Mercedes: It's because they were so good in Carmel? Because we can do more. Rachel: It's not fair, Mr. Schuester, we can not do it without you. Finn: That means I have more to join the club? Everyone looks as if he had said something wrong. Will: It has nothing to do with you. Being an adult is having to make difficult choices. This is not high school. Sometimes you have to give up things you love. Later you will understand. I ... enjoyed being your teacher. Will leave them sad. Scene 38: Will Office - Emma, Will Will just finished filling out paperwork. Emma arrives. Emma: Need help to correct? Will: This is an application for H.W. Menken. They hire. Go. The accounting is sexy. (Emma waits, motionless before him) I'll miss you. Emma: Before that, do me a favor. I have an appointment tomorrow with the ANPE. You need advice. Will: We are expecting a child, Emma. I just need more money. Emma: Go ahead. For me. Emma goes Will consider leaving. Scene 39: Corridor - Finn, Rachel Quinn, Santana Finn is at his locker, he sees Rachel and closes behind, waiting to talk to him. Rachel: You were not in the choir. Finn: It continues? Rachel: I took the reins. I am head temporarily, but I hope to remain so. Quinn, along with Santana, another Cheerios, came to see. Quinn: Hi, Finn. RuPaul. Why do you talk? Finn does not know what to say. Rachel: A duty, we are together. Quinn: Soldiers of Christ, at home, 17 h. Finn: Super. I better go. I quit the choir. It affects ... Rachel: Your reputation? You're really talented and you strikes. Finn: I'll be late. Rachel: Stop you care for others. You're better than them. Rachel part. Finn does not know what to do. Scene 40: Soccer field - Puck, Finn, Artie, members of the football team The football team is training. Finn and Puck talk. Puck: You waiting for? An apology? It's not my style, man. I would have joined the cheerleaders, you would have smashed. Why you did it? Finn: I Schuester validated Spanish, if I joined the club. I had no choice. If I miss an examination, it turns me on the team. It's over, I gave up.Something else? Puck: That's all. And for your return in the normal world, I have a gift for you. Finn: What's that noise? Artie is stuck in the toilet and tries to break free. Artie: Help! Finn: There's someone in there? Puck: We put in the handicapped. We're going to drive it. Finn: It's not risky? Puck: It is already in a wheelchair. Come on, you start. Finn opens the bathroom door and helps Artie. Artie: Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. My God, what a smell. Puck: Damn, man! How you can help it missed? Finn: Do not you understand? We are all failures. All this school! And even the whole city! Of all graduates, only half will go to college. And 2, in another state. I'm not afraid of being called a failure because that is what I am. But I'm afraid I missed something great for the first time in my life sucks. Puck: So what? You are leaving us to join the gay club? Finn: No. I will do both. For neither you nor they will win without me. Finn leaves with Artie, on his way, he sees the bimbo and Darren redo the lawn of the football pitch while singing. Scene 41: Auditorium - New Directions Rachel is trying to learn things with other students but they can not do it. Rachel: Finally! These steps are not complicated. I do them since kindergarten! Kurt: I missed the election of the queen? For I have not voted for you. Rachel: I have experience. I won my first dance competition when I was 3 months. Finn and Artie join them. Kurt: It's closed to the public. Finn: I apologize. I have never had to leave. I wanna be the guy who threw eggs at people. Rachel: That was you? Kurt: You turn me piss balloons. Finn: I know. Kurt: And have my chairs nailed to the roof. Finn: I was not there for that, but I'm really sorry. Listen, I'm not like that, and I'm tired. That's what I want to do with you. Before, I thought it was the most miserable thing that existed. Maybe, but it is all there for the same reason: to achieve something. (Motivated, it distributes tasks) Artie, you play the guitar? You could recruit the jazz club? Artie: I have influence. Finn: Super. Mercedes, we have new costumes, cool. Can you do that? Mercedes: sh1t! You see what I wear? Finn: Rachel prepares choreography. Tina, you know what? Tina: I ... Finn: We will find you something. Mercedes: And you know what to do, Justin Timberlake? Finn: I manage the music. Scene 42: Teachers' Corner - Will, Emma Will and Emma are seated at a table. Emma: I wanna show you something. (She takes his computer) I did some research. This is the video I found of the 1993 team, the championship.(Will watch the video) You know who this is? It's you, Will. It is you, more radiant than ever. Will: (Happy) It was the happiest moment of my life. Emma: Why? Will: Because I loved what I did. I knew right away we go win with this issue. Have been part of it, at this point ... I was at my place. (Emu) And the only time I felt this way since it was when I knew I was going to be a father. I must take care of my family. Emma: How? With the idea that money comes first. Or that life is worth living, with passion. Scene 43: Hall, Auditorium - Will, New Directions Will walk in the corridor, it is about to leave. Passing the auditorium there is music and going to see. The New Directions sing "Do not stop believin '. Along with Will, Sue, Quinn, Santana and Puck attend the show. At the end, he joined them at the bottom of the scene. Will: That's good. 9 out of 10. We need a 10. Rachel, the hump Do and Sol. Finn, if we're working, you could achieve a Si Finn: So you stay? Will: It would kill me if you win the championship without me. The beginning!

Former glee club star Will Schuester ( Matthew Morrison ) takes over McKinley High School's glee club in the hopes of restoring it to its former glory. He is faced with the challenge of converting a group of misfits, including fame-hungry Rachel Berry ( Lea Michele ), Mercedes Jones ( Amber Riley ), Kurt Hummel ( Chris Colfer ), Tina Cohen-Chang ( Jenna Ushkowitz ), and Artie Abrams ( Kevin McHale ), into a team of singers. When Will discovers that football quarterback Finn Hudson ( Cory Monteith ) has a secret talent for singing, he blackmails Finn into joining the club. His friendship with friend and colleague, Ken Tanaka ( Patrick Gallagher ), the football coach suffers when Ken discovers that his crush, the school guidance counselor, Emma Pillsbury ( Jayma Mays ) has a crush on Will. Meanwhile, Will's wife Terri ( Jessalyn Gilsig ) tells Will she's pregnant and pushes him to find a higher paying job to support his family. Will considers quitting his job and commitment to the glee club, but overhears New Directions performing "Don't Stop Believin' " so well that he ends up returning after getting guidance from Emma, concluding that he could not bear to see them win Nationals without him.

fd_Angel_03x13

fd_Angel_03x13_0

Wesley is sitting in front of a book open to a woodcut of a demon. Wes: "Honestly, have you ever seen anything lovelier? So - graceful, so full of life. And those eyes... make you feel like you're the only man in the room." Cordy: "Plus, six breast. Any man is gonna love that." Wes: "Fred doesn't have six breasts! - Right?" Cordy, writing on a notepad: "Sorialus the Ravager. (Looks down at the book) And, yeah, she's the one from my vision." Wes: "Coming to destroy the humans that killed her mate." Cordy: "But not for another month or so. I'll file her under 'pending.' - You're gonna ask her out?" Wes: "The Ravager?" Cordy: "Fred." Wes: "Oh. - Yes - but, you know - timing. I'll make my move when I feel the iron is hot." Cordy: "Well, get it done, Johnny Reb. So I can hear about something else, and you can do something else besides feeling your hot iron." Wes: "Am I very boring on the subject?" Cordy smiles: "You know, there was a time when you thought I was the loveliest thing in the world." Wes: "Well, I... You're an extraordinary woman. (Cordy raises an eyebrow) I..." Cordy: "At ease, soldier. Just like to hear it every now and then. I was the ditziest bitch in Sunnydale, could have had any man I wanted. Now I'm all superhero-y and the best action I can get is an invisible ghost who's good with the Loohfah." Turns from filing away her notes to look at Wes. Wes looks at her for half a moment then looks back down at his book. Wes: "I'm sorry. I missed that last part." Cordy smiling: "You *are* a gentleman." Angel: "Who's doing what with the Loofah?" Wes, getting up: "Not Loofah, Looh-fah. Nooctm... Skumth. It's a demon." Cordy (to Angel): "So, you went with the dark clothes today." Angel: "Ask me why I'm smiling." Cordy: "I will, because it's scaring me." Angel pulls some tickets out of his back pocket and holds them up. Angel: "We - are stepping out." Shot of the Hyperion by day. Gunn: "You are a remarkable woman. Particularly the way you can shovel a mountain range of food into your mouth. That is some Olympian feat, that much eatin'." Gunn and Fred are walking into the Hyperion's garden court from the street. Fred: "Oh, was I a pig? It's just that that first breakfast seems to go so quick, and I'm always still..." Gunn: "Nah, I was wondering where it all goes in that little stick-figure body you got." Fred: "Stick? You're a beast." Gunn: "Ah, come on. You know you're gorgeous." Fred looks at his back as he walks up the steps into the Hyperion. Gunn, entering the lobby: "Morning friends and neighbors. Ooh, are those the tickets? You got 'em?" Angel: "Well, I got to the ticket place and..." Gunn: "I'm paying you back. This one's on me." Fred: "Morning." Gunn: "Mahta Hari is the tightest band in LA. You guys are gonna be trippin' out." Angel: "The only thing is..." Gunn puts a hand on Angel's shoulder: "Look, I said I'm good for it, man. Don't have to worry about dippin' in the Connor college fund. (Takes the tickets from Angel) The time I saw the Mahta Hari at the Troubadour they where the (reads tickets) "Blinnikov World Ballet Tour. What's going on?" Angel: "I was trying to tell you. I got to the ticket place and boom! Tonight only!" Gunn: "But - you got ballet on my Mahta Hari tickets." Angel: "This is the Blinnikov World Ballet Corps." Cordy: "He's been saying that like it has meaning." Angel: "This is one of the premier companies in the world. And they're going Giselle! It's their signature piece." Gunn: "This is all like some horrible dream." Wes: "I think I've heard of them. Very ahead of their time." Angel: "Oh, yeah. Yeah. I saw their production of Giselle in eighteen-ninety. I cried like a baby. And I was evil!" Fred: "I-I think it sounds exciting!" Wes: "Yes." Gunn: "No. No! This is not Mahta Hari. This is tutus, and guys with their big-ass packages jumping up and down. This is just... (To Angel) I will never trust you again. The trust is gone." Cordy: "Oh, get over it. Do we get dressed up?" Angel: "Of course." Cordy: "I'm in." Angel: "Guys, seeing real ballet live it's... (sighs) it's like another world. Gunn, these guys are tight, and you're gonna be trippin' out." Gunn: "Don't be usin' my own phrases when we lost the trust." Cordy: "Come on, guys. Working day, cases to solve." Gunn: "Okay. But I'm not still paying, right. Because this is... (Looks at the tickets) this is... It's like a nightmare." The director of the ballet company, wearing a Russian cross with a red stone in the middle on his tie and another man are walking backstage at the theater. Man: "It's such an honor to have the company here, I have to say. All of LA is buzzing. To have the Blinnikov performing Giselle... I can't imagine what's tonight's going to be like." Director: "It will be the performance of a lifetime." The camera angle changes so that we are looking down on them from the rigging past some gray-skinned hands while hearing some strange giggling. Director: "I guarantee it." Intro Cordy and Fred are in a fancy clothing store. Fred: "Are you certain this is the place for us?" Cordy: "Well, we could always get our outfits at 'Cave-girl's House of Burlap,' but that's just so last season. The guys are all renting tuxes. We gotta step up." Fred: "But aren't we - you know - poor?" Cordy: "There is a custom amongst my people. It's called 'buying a dress, wearing it once, and returning it the next day.' It's all about hiding the tags while it's on." Fred: "Oh. Okay. I'm very excited about tonight. I love the ballet! I mean, I haven't seen that much, but my family used to go to the Nutcracker every Christmas, and I had my first sexual dream about the Mouseking." Cordy gives Fred a look and half nods before holding up a dress. Cordy: "Face me." Holds the dress up against Fred then shakes her head and puts it back on the rack. Fred: "Can I ask you something?" Cordy, looking at another dress: "I think you guys are perfect for each other. (Turns to smile at Fred) I have magic powers, remember?" Fred: "It -it's not like we've said anything or... but he's so sweet... and commanding, and I feel so comfortable around him...(Looks down) I mean, I don't even know if he feels..." Cordy: "He feels." Fred, looking up: "Feelings?" Cordy: "Oh, there is definite feelings. We find the right outfit for tonight, there may be actual feeling." Fred: "And then we have to find a dress for you. Something that will make Angel crazy." Cordy: "Fred, sweetie. Angel *is* crazy." Fred: "Well, I know he's gonna wanna look his best for you." Cordy: "That's right. The world's champion is gonna spend all day worrying about his outfit!" Lorne is wiping at the back of Angel's tux jacket with a rag. Angel: "Is it gonna to be alright? Is there a stain?" Lorne: "Oh, relax, crumb cake. I've got the soda water working overtime. Man, little Connor burps like a champ." Angel: "At least he's sleeping." Lorne: "Who wouldn't? With that sweet Irish lullaby you crooned. Just a hair flat on the bridge, but - more to the point - Cordelia?" Angel: "What about her?" Lorne: "I read you while you were singing, you big corn muffin, and uh, can't say as I blame. I mean, what a woman she's become." Angel: "You're not supposed to be reading me. Anyway, you read me wrong." Angel sits down on the edge of his bed and starts to put his shoes on. Lorne: "Sorry, strudel. It's not just when you're singing. We got a little term back in Pylea. Kyrumption?" Angel: "I know it." Lorne: "Okay. When two great heroes come together..." Angel: "There will be no coming together, okay? Everything we've been through together and all anybody wants to talk about is..." Lorne: "Can't fight Kyrumption, cinnamon buns. It's fate. It's the stars. Kyrumption is..." Angel gets up: "Stop saying that. And stop calling me pastries." Lorne after watching Angel for a moment: "You're a man of many limitations, Angel. But you're a man. You got a heart. And Cordelia is a hell of a lady. I mean, if I thought she'd like to wear green, I'd be elbowing you out of the way. But she's out of my league. She's a champion, Angel, old school. And besides, we all know you got a thing for ex-cheerleaders." Lorne drops into a chair, chuckling, but Angel only looks down. Angel: "What have I got to offer her?" Lorne: "Do I even have to answer that? You just have to act, Angel. You gotta let her know what's brewing inside. 'cause, man, it's real and - and you don't wanna miss that shot!" Angel shaking his head: "Lorne, Cordelia, she's..." Cordy: "She's what?" Both of them turn to look at Cordy standing in the doorway, showing off her dress. Angel after a beat: "I-I was just saying that you're not much of an ballet fan." Lorne aside to Angel: "You - you know, disregard everything I said. I forgot how homely she was." Angel: "You - you look like..." Cordy: "Like a ballet fan? (Comes swaying into the room) An aficionado? A devotee, in fact? (Reaches up to adjust Angel's bow-tie) Tonight I've decided that we don't have to be our incredibly dreary selves. (Smiles at Angel) Tonight we're just a couple of young sophisticates enjoying an evening of classical dance. How does that sound?" Angel: "Sounds just right." Gunn: "You got to promise not to laugh." Fred: "I promise." Gunn: "It's gotta come from the heart." Fred: "Will you stop being such a little girl? I said, I promise." Gunn steps out into Fred's view and spreads his arms so she can get a look at his tux, not looking at her. Fred's eyes go wide. After a moment she bursts out laughing. Gunn: "This is what your promises are worth? I'm having a lot of trust issues at this time in my life." Fred: "It's just - my god, you're so pretty." Gunn smiling: "You know there's not a lot of people could say that to me and live. But - the way you look - there is no way I can fight you." Fred: "Tonight feels... I don't know - kind of magical. Is that stupid?" Wes comes up and drapes Fred's stole over her shoulders. Wes: "Not at all. (Notices Gunn) Finally came out of hiding." Gunn motions towards Fred: "And look at my reward." Wes: "Yes. Isn't she a vision." Gunn: "A lot of that going around." Cordy is walking down the steps on Angel's arm. Cordy: "Thank you, but no thank you. There will be no visions tonight." Angel: "How can you be sure?" Cordy: "I had a vision." Wes drapes her jacket over Cordy's shoulders. Cordy: "Thank you. (Whispering) The iron is hot." Wes looks from Cordy to Fred. They all walk out of the lobby. Fred looks around the theater lobby with a big smile on her face. The gang settles into their seats. Wes, Fred and Gunn are sitting together in one row. Angel and Cordy have seats in the row just behind them. Angel: "Sorry they're not closer. Getting five seats together..." Wes: "Don't be silly. Best place. We get the whole panorama from here." Cordy: "Besides, back here we stand less chance of setting off the 'under seventy' alarm." Angel: "Back in the day I'd always get box seats. Or I'd just eat the people who had 'em.' Cordy: "Don't lets reminisce. We're here. Enjoy." The camera pans down to the stage as the curtain opens. As the ballet begins we pan up to a box, where the Russian director is watching the performance. We get a shot of Cordy snoring in her seat. She jerks and moves, without waking so her head is now lying against Angel's shoulder, still quietly snoring away. In the row in front of them Wes glances at Fred, while Gunn is leaning forward, intent on the stage, a smile on his face. Fred looks over at Gunn and smiles. Angel, Cordy still snoring, is watching the performance, a frown spreading over his face. The act comes to an end and people begin to applaud. Gunn clapping: ""Bravo! Bravo!" Cordy jerking upright: "I loved it." Angel: "It's just intermission." Cordy, wiping at her face: "Oh." Gunn: "Bravo! Bravo!" Cordy looks at Angel's jacket where her head was resting. Cordy: "That isn't drool, is it?" Angel: "It's okay. Matches the back." The group is walking out in the lobby. Gunn: "I say it once, and gloat all you want: these guys are tight, and I am trippin' out." Wes: "They certainly live up to their reputation. Has the choreography changed much since..." Angel: "No. Nothing's changed." Wes: "Well, it's wonderful they're able to..." Angel: "No. I mean, nothings changed. These are the same dancers I saw before." Fred: "That's impossible. We're watching the exact same troupe you saw in nineteen-ninety?" Gunn: "I think he said eighteen-ninety." Fred: "Oh. Okay, that's much more impossible." Angel: "So, somebody wanna tell me how we're watching a show starring people who should have died sixty years ago?" The gang exchanges looks but no one volunteers any ideas. Cordy: "Well, it's a puzzler. Are there snacks?" Break Wes: "So what are we thinking? Vampires?" Cordy: "Well, they're not a deeply tanned bunch." Gunn: "That would explain the precision and the athleticism. I mean, some of those jumps were... (Sees the others looking at him) You know, I was cool before I met you all." Cordy: "Dancing vampires. Who's not scared?" Angel: "Not it. I'd know. I'd sense it." Wes: "Even all the way back there... (Angel looks at him) ...with the - panoramic view?" Angel: "We should check it out." Fred: "Maybe after the show we should head backstage?" Angel: "I was thinking now. You guys should go back. I'll snoop." Cordy: "I'm with snoopy. The magic of the ballet - not really getting to me." Wes: "How will the dancers keep time without your rhythmic snoring?" The lights flicker and a soft chiming sounds to indicate the end of the intermission. Cordy to Wes: "Don't think that's not coming back to haunt you." Angel: "Go." Gunn: "Hurry." Angel and Cordy are descending some stairs and spot a big security guard standing in front of the door at the bottom. Cordy: "Check out the zeppelin." Angel: "Awful lot of muscle for a ballet company." Cordy: "You want I should distract him? Make with the nice, nice while you slip by?" Angel: "Don't be stupid. I'm that guy and the most beautiful girl I've ever seen is making eyes at me? It's either bachelor party or a scam." Cordy: "What did you just call me?" Angel: "I'm sorry. You're not stupid." Cordy: "No. After that." Angel: "I think I'll just have to go with my patented sudden burst of violence." Cordy: "Hey, hold on. I think I might have an approach that is a little more subtle." Cordy to guard: "Hey! Do you like bribes?" Guard, smiling: "Do I ever." Cordy holds up some money: "Well, we *really* wanna go backstage." Guard, taking the money: "Yeah, okay, but this isn't so much a bribe as it is a tip. And since I'm not parking your car, there's really no way that..." The guard is handing the bill back to Cordy when he is knocked out by a sudden cross from Angel. Angel: "Okay. That's how we do it." Cordy as they walk through the door: "Okay. You saw the building as we drove by. Do you remember it going on forever?" Angel glances past her down a corridor that stretches on without an end in sight. Angel: "It's clearly a spell, or a time flux, or something. I don't think we wanna be rushing in here." Cordy: "Well, lets get the others and talk options." They turn back to the door they just came through, but instead there is just another corridor, stretching on forever. Angel: "Works in theory." Wes, Fred and Gunn are watching the dance. So is the director up in his box. Angel and Cordy are walking down the corridor. Angel opens one of the doors and they enter. Angel: "This is her dressing room." Cordy: "The prima ballerina." Angel: "It's unchanged." Cordy sits down at the dressing table and picks up a little chain with a cross on it. Cordy: "She would wait for him here." Angel: "It's warm. It's very warm." Cordy turns to look at him: "I feel it." Angel: "Something happened here." Cordy stands up: "Angel?" Angel: "Yeah?" Cordy: "I want you - to undress me." Angel: "You what?" Cordy: "It's just another costume. I want you to see who I really am. You're the only one who can." Angel shaking his head slightly: "I... - This isn't us. Cordelia (licks his lips) we're acting this out. Someone is..." Cordy: "Whoa! - Did - did I actually just ask you to undress me?" Angel steps closer: "Is that what you want?" Cordy: "Please... I..." Angel: "You want me to make love to you right here?" Cordy: "You know I do." Angel caresses her cheek and leans in closer. Angel, whispering: "But you're afraid." Cordy: "What if he finds us?" Angel: "I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid of anything." Cordy, whispering: "I'm only alive when you're inside me." They start kissing. Break We see the prima ballerina dancing with the lead dancer. Cordy and Angel are still kissing passionately. Suddenly there is a hissing sound and Angel jerks away, putting one hand up against the side of his mouth and cheek. Angel: "Ah! Cordelia." Cordy: "Yes." Angel: "I'm sorry." Cordy: "No. We so need to be out of here." Angel: "Yes." They're both breathing rather fast as they move back together. Cordy, not trying to get away: "This isn't out of here." Angel: "I know. - Right." Remaining on the verge of another kiss they move across the room. Cordy turns so that her back is to Angel, snaking one of her arms up behind his neck. Cordy, breathless: "Open the damn door." Angel: "Kinda hard." Cordy: "Kinda noticed." Never losing touch with Cordy's body, Angel reaches around and twists the door handle. Breaking apart, they hurry through the open door, and Angel slams it shut behind them. Cordy: "Whoa!" Angel, leaning with his back against the door: "That's a fair assessment." Cordy, points at the door: "What the hell is that place?" Angel: "There's spirits in there. Energy trapped in time. It took us over." Cordy: "Yee. Scary. - Well, it's a good thing it wears off right away." Cordy laughs as both of them look down. Angel takes off his tux jacket and folds it over his arm, strategically positioned in front of his body. Angel: "Yeah. Good thing." Lorne places Connor into the crib in Angel's room singing softly. Lorne, singing: "Go to sleep, lullaby, you've been fed and you're sleepy. You'll be with uncle Lorne, who in no way resents not being asked to go to the ballet." Lorne sits down by a desk and picks up a magazine. Lorne, singing: "And is certainly, not thinking, of selling you to the first vampire cult that makes him a decent offer..." The camera moves through the lobby, and up the stairs. Turns down the hallway. Lorne is reading the magazine, humming to himself. He stops and glances towards the door. Puts the magazine down as he gets up. Lorne: "Hey, you just sleep on, little nipper. Uncle Lorne is gonna make sure we're alone." Lorne picks up Angel's fighting ax, leaning against the nightstand next to the rubber ducky, and heads for the door. Lorne: "Won't be gone a moment." The door opens as Lorne reaches it and his eyes go wide. Lorne: "Oh my god." Angel and Cordy are wandering down a hallway. Cordy: "Are you sure this is the way?" Angel: "I'm sure it's *a* way. Place is a maze. I'm just hoping there's another room. We can just go..." Cordy: "Damn it!" Angel: "What?" Cordy: "I said something. Back in that room. Something important. Do you remember?" Angel: "Uhm - you-you're only alive when I-I'm..." Cordy: "Not that." Angel: "No. Of course. I-I was just... Oh. Hey! I said you were afraid." Cordy: "And I said - what if he finds us?" Angel: "She had a secret lover." Cordy: "They were afraid of someone. And I'll bet you anything that someone is the reason why we're stuck here! We left too soon." Angel: "We... who? The room?" Cordy: "It's a clue! Those spirits or - or energy or - or whatever are still in there. So we can figure out what happened. We have to go back in!" Angel: "I'm marveling at the wrongness of that idea.' Cordy: "You wanna wander around backstage like Spinal Tap for the next - ever?" Angel: "I'm sure there are other rooms that..." Cordy: "All we have to do is play the scene. Get in, get out. No one gets happy." Angel: "What if there is - no more talking in that scene? - Look, I've been possessed by the spirits of old lovers before. Never goes well." Cordy pulls out the necklace with the cross and holds it up. Cordy: "Well, I've got my little cross if things get out of hand. (Angel won't look at her) Hey - it's awkward, but it's not *us.* So long as nothing is removed or - inserted it's all forgotten." Angel: "It is us - Cordelia. It's you and me. - Kissing you, it's... - It's not something I can just..." Cordy: "Oh, come on. It's not *that* horrible. (Turns to walk down the hall) Up to his ass in demon gore - fine! But ask him to mack on a hottie and he wigs. (Turns back to indicate Angel) My champion, ladies and gentlemen." Up in the theater, Fred is watching the ballerina and the lead dance. Wes' hand slowly moves towards Fred's hand, resting on her knee - just as Gunn's hand does the same. Fred, whispering: "Angel!" Wes and Gunn jerk their hands back. Gunn: "Huh?" Fred: "And Cordy. They've been gone way too long." Wes after a beat: "You're right. Come on." Gunn, even as he gets up with them: "We're gonna miss the end!" Wes: "I'm sorry." Cordy and Angel are back in the dressing room of the ballerina, standing a few feet apart. Angel: "Anything coming?" Cordy: "Uhm..." Cordy paces a little circle, then turns to face Angel. Cordy: "Okay. Let's take it from the middle. - I want you to undress me." Angel: "You want me to have s*x now with you here." Cordy: "Yes, but I'm scared." Angel: "But you're afraid." Cordy: "And afraid. What if we-he! - finds us?" Angel awkwardly takes a hold of Cordy's shoulders and pulls her closer. Angel: "Well, I'm not afraid of anything." Cordy: "Only good inside, blah, blah, blah..." Cordy squints her eyes closed and leans in to give Angel a quick smooch. Then they both look around the room. Angel: "Maybe it only works the one time. You know, when the energy..." Cordy reaches up and pulls Angel into a passionate kiss. The cross necklace drops from her fingers behind Angel's back. Fred and the guys come across the unconscious security guard. Gunn: "At least Angel left us a trail." We hear mixed laughter and crying and two shapes move away as Gunn, Fred and Wes step over the downed guard and through the door. The director is up in his box, watching the ballerina dance. We see two pairs of white-gloved hands on the back of his chair and hear the same mix of laughter and crying. Director: "Deal with them. I can't be bothered right now." The two shapes move away. Angel is laying Cordy back on the lounge in the ballerina's dressing room, covering her neck with kisses. Cordy: "This is wrong." Angel: "Hush." Cordy: "You don't know him. - He has power." Angel: "The power to do this?" Cordy gasps, takes a deep breath - and another. Cordy: "Stephan, his power is unnatural. He could..." Angel: "What? Kill us?" Cordy: "Worse." Angel: "Kurskov owns the company. He doesn't own you." Cordy: "He doesn't know that. He thinks I'm his. (Sits up as a Russian accent enters her speech) That I dance for him. He is nothing but a deluded fan. He thinks I love him." Angel: "Come away with me. Now. Tonight. We'll disappear. Even *he* won't find us." Cordy: "I... - Stephan, everything I worked for is here." Angel: "You can still dance." Cordy: "Can I? I don't... Not yet. - Maybe when we're..." Angel: "Don't. Don't make promises." Cordy: "Help me. - Help me be not afraid." She sinks back onto the lounge and Angel goes back to kissing her neck. Fred, Gunn and Wes are walking the corridors. Gunn: "This is very not right." Fred: "Do you hear it?" Wes: "There is something." Two shapes flit across the corridor behind them, unnoticed. We can hear low moaning. Wes: "Someone's in pain." Fred: "Either that, or someone's in fun." Angel is working his way south of Cordy's belly button, covering her bare skin with kisses. Cordy, moaning: "Oh, no. (Suddenly her eyes widen and she sits up) Oh, no!" Angel straightens up just in time to get knocked to the floor by one of the director's minions. Cordy peeks over the back of the lounge and watches as the minion, wearing a gray 'comedy mask' hits Angel across the chin with a hard right. Cordy: "Oh, thank god!" Angel hits back, knocking the minion to the floor. Cordy, pulling the straps of her dress up onto her shoulders: "Okay. So. Good. They were probably interrupted by this Count Kurskov, or his lackeys, right? So we're done with the..." Cordy throws up her hands to shield herself as Angel charges at her. Cordy lets out a scream as Angel launches himself over her, tackling the minion set to attack Cordy from behind. The others out in the corridor follow the sounds of the fight. Gunn: "Now that sounds less like fun." One of Kurskov's minions, wearing a gray 'tragedy mask' come up behind Gunn. Gunn lets out a scream as the minion stabs him from behind with a sword. Fred, spinning around: "Charles!" Break [SCENE_BREAK] Another sword wielding minion is confronting Wesley. Wes: "Fred, stay between us." Gunn: "I need to..." Fred picks up a prop and wallops the tragedy minion as Gunn drops to his knees with a groan. Fred: "Wesley!" Wes catches the tragedy minion's sword as Fred tosses it to him and engages the 'comedy' minion. Wes: "Can you handle the other?" Wes glances back to see Fred continuing to wallop on the sobbing 'tragedy' minion, before turning back to face his own foe. Wes: "Well, then. Just us." Cordy is throwing cushions and whatever else comes to hand at a laughing 'comedy' minion, while Angel has the 'tragedy' minion on the floor, choking it. The 'comedy' minion slashes at Cordy with its sword. Cordy picks up a short stick, decorated with swaths of ribbons. Looks at it as she dodges another swing, then over towards Angel. Cordy: "A little help!" The 'tragedy' minion pulls out a stiletto and stabs Angel through the heart with it. Angel: "Thank you." Angel pulls out the stiletto, knocks the 'tragedy' minion across the chin, then stabs it through the heart with its own sword, at the same time throwing the stiletto to skewer the 'comedy' minion through the throat. Cordy watches the minion drop to the floor then hurries over to Angel. Angel: "You alright?" Cordy: "Yeah. We gotta move." Angel looks from one minion to the other. Angel: "You think they're not dead?" Cordy: "You just looked *really* hot doing that." Angel: "Oh." Cordy nods: "Yeah." Angel: "Run." They jump up and run out the room, Angel taking the minion's sword with him. Wes is fencing with the 'comedy' minion out in the corridor. The minion, with its grotesque comedy mask, is laughing the whole time. After some fancy sword and curtain work, Wes manages to run it through with his blade. Wes: "Who is laughing now?" The minion lets out a weak laugh. Wes: "Well, you. But I still win." Fred is performing some impromptu first aid on Gunn's wound. Gunn: "That's good. That should hold. (Fred lets out a shaky breath) You okay? You hurt?" Fred: "I'm fine. I just thought... (Takes a deep breath and looks away) I'm sorry. I shouldn't fall apart like this." Gunn with a slight smile: "You scared I'm gonna die on you?" Fred: "Charles, don't even..." Gunn looks up at the ceiling and starts declaiming: "And all I ask - is one last kiss - as the light is dimming." Breaks up in laughter. Fred: "You think that's funny?" Gunn: "It's just a scratch!" Fred: "I thought it was... - I..." Gunn: "Hey. (Gunn carefully reaches out and pulls Fred against him) Hey. (Gunn strokes Fred's shoulder then pulls back and tries to look into her eyes) You really that worried about me?" Fred, not looking at him: "You probably think I'm an idiot." Gunn, quietly: "I think if you care that much - the wound is definitely deep." Fred raises her eyes to look at him: "The light is dimming?" Gunn: "And all I ask (looks at her lips) is one (slowly leans forward) last..." They kiss softly. The camera pulls back and we see Wesley standing a little way away watching them, his face reflected in a polished brass mirror. Wesley slowly turns and walks away. We hear the sound of a sword tip dragging along the floor, see black clad legs shambling into view. Their owner drops to his knees and we see that it is Wesley. He bows his head, then turns it to look at the camera as and ominous music begins to play. The shot of Wes' face blends into a shot of Kurskov watching the prima ballerina dance on stage. Gunn and Fred are getting to their feet as Angel and Cordy come up a branch of the corridor. Angel: "You guys alright?" Fred: "Charles got stabbed." Gunn pulls up his shirt as Cordy hurries over to take a closer look. Gunn: "Yeah. A couple stitches worth." Angel looks at the dead minions. Angel: "The same guys that attacked us." Fred: "Cordy - your tag's showing." Fred tucks the tag back away. Gunn: "Any idea where we are or what the hell?" Angel, shifting on his feet: "Yeah. Cordy and I hit kind of a mystical hotspot back in one of the dressing rooms." Cordy: "Well, it seems the prima ballerina had a lover back in the day. And there was this Count Kurskov, who owned the company, and I guess he had a thing for the girl and - they were mightily afraid of him." Angel: "He had powers of some kind." Wes: "He was a wizard." They all turn to see Wes standing on the threshold of one of the corridors archways, sword carried loosely by his side. Wes: "He was obsessed with the girl. - When he found her with the other man, he went insane with jealous rage - pulled her out of time (slowly walks towards them) out of any reality beyond *his* theater, his company. He swore she would dance for him forever." Fred: "How did you..." Wes: "I - ah, - I hit a hotspot, too." Gunn: "And now we're stuck here?" Wes: "Well, ah, this kind of temporal shift can't just exist. It has to be maintained. That requires power and concentration. If we can overload him somehow, we might be able to slip back to the real world." Gunn: "The man with the plan!" Angel: "Great. So, how do we overload him?" Wes: "Well, I'd imagine *that* requires some energy." The others turn to look at what Wes is indicating. One of the dead minions is slowly rising, begins to shake, then splits in two, one wearing a tragedy mask and sobbing, the other wearing a comedy mask and laughing. Angel grabs them both in a head lock under each arm and breaks both their necks. As soon as they hit the floor they start shivering and splitting each into a new pair of theater minions. Fred: "The more we kill, the more he makes." Cordy, pointing: "Look!" For a moment the wall of the corridor wavers, revealing another reality behind it. Wes: "And that is draining his energy. Angel, try and find a way to the stage. The count will be watching." Angel starts to walks away, muttering under his breath: "I bet *he* has a box." Wes puts a hand on Angel's arm as he walks past and Angel stops to look at him. Wes: "Find his power center and destroy it. We'll try and loosen his hold." Gunn: "By making more monsters? Man with the frightening plan!" A minion comes up the corridor and Angel spin kicks it, breaking its neck before heading past it. Cordy, pointing: "Back here. They can't surround us." They all move into the corner Cordy indicated. Cordy picks up one of the minion's swords, handing its stiletto to Gunn as he and Fred walk past her. Wes puts a hand on Gunn's arm. Wes: "You two - (Looks from Fred to Gunn, then back to Fred) - stay close together. I'll take point." Cordy, coming up beside him: "I hope you're in a killing mood." Wes: "I should do alright." We get intercut shots of the ballerina dancing on stage, the gang fighting the minions, and Angel looking for a way out of the corridor maze. The wall next to Angel flickers and after a split second's hesitation, Angel leaps at it - and lands in the wings off the stage. He sees the ballerina standing there watching from just off stage, waiting, at the same time the ballerina also comes dancing off the stage, her image shivering and dissolving as she passes from the view of the theater audience. Angel: "Hello?" The ballerina's head whips around and she stares at Angel. Ballerina, speaking with a Russian accent: "Who are you? - There's no one... - You're new." Angel: "I'm pretty old, actually. (Slowly walks closer) I've seen you dance." Ballerina, looking out on the stage: "Everyone sees me." Angel: "It was Giselle then, as well." Ballerina: "Always." Angel looks past the ballerina and sees Kurskov up in his box. Angel: "I know what's happening. Count Kurskov - he's punishing you." Ballerina: "He made me. He owns me. And when I dance it is only for him." Beside Angel the air shivers as a row of dancers materializes and passes out onto the stage. Angel: "Do you believe that?" Ballerina: "It really doesn't matter. I'll dance. I'll wait here. And then I'll dance again. That's all." Angel: "A hundred years - doing the same piece - every night. Is that enough? What about Stephan?" Ballerina takes a deep breath: "I waited too long. I should have gone when he asked me, should have disappeared, but... (swallows hard) I wanted this. This dance, this... I hesitated and... - I lost everything that mattered. Now all I do is wait." Angel: "You dance." Ballerina: "There is a section in the first act, during the courtship dance, where - my foot slips. My ankle's turned and - and I don't quite hold - every time. (Glances at the box) He doesn't notice. He doesn't even know ballet that well. But always, at that same moment, I slip. - It isn't just the same ballet. (Looks at Angel) It's the same performance. I don't dance. (Returns to watching the stage) I echo. (After a moment she turns back to Angel) Please - can you make it stop?" The gang all have swords now, fighting the minions. Wes: "It's working!" Gunn: "Yeah, there are dozens of them. Yay us!" Wes: "It has to be weakening his hold." Angel reaches out his hand towards the stage and it vanishes from view in mid-air. Angel: "I can help you. But you have to do something." Ballerina: "What?" Angel: "Change the ending. Dance something new." Ballerina: "I can't." Angel: "He doesn't control all this. He's losing it. (Looks to see the 1890 backstage dissolve for a moment into the present day stage) But you have to take the stage. - It's not too late. You can change things." The ballerina looks from Angel to the stage. She slowly steps towards the stage, looking back at Angel once, then goes out and begins to dance around the lead dancer, lying stretched out in the middle of the stage as the rest of the company leaves the stage. She raises her head from bowing down over the fallen body to look towards Angel, waiting in the wings, then steps back and strikes a different pose. Up in his box, Kurskov jumps up out of his chair. Kurskov: "No!" As the ballerina begins to dance again, the body of the lead dancer shivers and dissolves. The ballerina stops, holding a pose, and looks up defiantly at Kurskov's box. Angel run out onto the stage and with two great leaps lands in Kurskov's box. He grabs him by the lapels and pulls him close. Angel: "Hey, where is your power center?" Kurskov: "How dare you?" Angel: "I'll guess." Angel smashes the jewel in the center of the Russian cross-shaped medal hanging around Kurskov's neck. A wave of blue light races out, washing over the ballerina on the stage, washing over the minions attacking the gang. Gunn stops in mid-swing to look around as his sword, the minions and the corridor dissolve into a modern day back stage room. On the stage the ballerina looks up at Angel. Angel gives her a slight nod and she sinks down, folding her body on top of her outstretched leg, in something like a deep bow, before dissolving away. Kurskov: "You have no right." Angel: "Save it." Out in the audience people begin to applaud. Kurskov: "She - was my love. She danced only for *me!*" Angel: "Yeah. You love her that much? (Hauls back and clocks Kurskov on the chin, dropping him to the floor) Start a website." Angel leaves the box. Hyperion, night. In his office, Wes is working on the wound in Gunn's back. Wes: "We'll have to clean the wound. Do you want something for the pain?" Gunn, looking at Fred sitting across from him: "What pain?" Fred smiles at Gunn. We see that Angel was watching them. He turns away, a slight smile on his face. Out in the lobby Cordy is brushing at her dress. Cordy: "Do you think I can still return it? Because otherwise we're gonna have to take on a lot more cases." Angel: "Cordy." Cordy: "You know, we should probably just not talk about - our little adventure. Anything that might have been seen, anything that might have been, oh (lets out a laugh) perky." Angel turning away: "I just wanna pretend it never happened." Cordy: "Exactly." Angel: "Wipe it from my memory." Cordy: "What? - Was it, like, disgusting?" Angel: "No! I, ah... I would, I would just want... If we were to... - I would just want it to be... - new. Start at the beginning." Cordy shaking her head: "Lost me in the middle." Angel: "Cordy - you and I, we've been working together for - a long time. (Cordy lets out a short 'duh' kind of laugh) What I mean is, you've become a truly extraordinary woman. (Cordy grins) I know we haven't always gotten along, but - I think that we, you know, we..." Cordy: "Groo?" Angel: "Yes! We - we-we grew - closer together, I think..." Cordy runs past Angel yelling: "Groo!" Groo: "Princess!" Angel turns to see Cordy throw herself into the Groosalug's arms as he comes down the stairs. Groo catches her in a tight hug, swinging her around. Cordy: "Oh god! I can't believe it!" Fred and Wes come out of the office at the noise. Groo looking deep into Cordy's eyes: "I feared you'd forget who I was." Cordy, running a hand down the side of his face: "Remind me." They kiss. Lorne walks over to stand next to Angel, who isn't taking his eyes of Cordy and Groo. Lorne: "He just showed up. Apparently once everyone in Pylea got their freedom, the political situation got a little sketchy. The Groosalug here got deposed and they set up some kind of people's republic. So, he came looking for his - true love." Angel: "Huh. That's good-good for her." Lorne: "Yeah." Angel turning away: "I'm gonna check on Connor." Lorne: "Ah, he's sleeping." Angel keeps walking up the stairs. Fred: "Well, that's a surprise. I thought for sure she was meant to be with Angel. I guess you never can predict those things. (Turns to look at Wesley) You know?" Wes, looking at her, after a beat: "No. I guess you never can." Fred gives him a smile, then turns back to watching Groo and Cordy.

When a famous dance troupe comes to LA, Angel is thrilled. He drags Gunn, Fred, Cordy and Wes along for a night of ballet. Unfortunately, supernatural forces are afoot at the theater. Meanwhile, Angel is scared to admit his real feelings for Cordy. Wes & Gunn both continue to fall for Fred and she finally kisses one of them.

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[Scene: Magic School, Hallway outside Great Hall. 'Piper' is running down the hallway. A demon appears behind her and throws an energy ball at her. 'Piper' ducks and hits the table in front of her. He creates another energy ball. 'Paige' steps out from behind a column. The demon throws the energy ball.] 'Paige': Energy ball. (The energy ball orbs back to the demon, but he side-steps it. 'Phoebe' steps out and fights him. The demon flips down on the floor. The demon shakes his head and stands up. 'Piper' blows him up. The 'sisters' gather.) 'Piper': Nice teamwork. 'Phoebe': You mean nice sister work. 'Paige': We are definitely getting better at this. 'Piper': Well, we should be, we've been doing it long enough. 'Phoebe': I think we're ready. 'Paige': So do I. Male Demon: I don't. (He steps out from the shadows.) Something is still missing. 'Piper': What do you mean? How many more demons do we have to vanquish? 'Phoebe': We've been training for this for like eight years. 'Paige': Five for me. But still, we've mastered their powers. Male Demon: Their individual powers, yes. But you're still missing their collective power: The Power of There. And until you get it, you will never truly replace the Charmed Ones. (The 'sisters' morph back into three dark-haired demons.) Opening Credits [Scene: Manor, main hall. Phoebe comes downstairs with a large box. Piper is sitting in the dining room, looking through the Book of Shadows.] Phoebe: Anyone down here? Big box in high heels. (She gets to the bottom.) Need some help. Piper: Just a sec. (There are other books and note pads. Phoebe puts the box down on the table behind her.) Uh, sorry. Do you need help? Phoebe: Well, I did. Now I just need a sec. Piper: Okay, well, since I have you... (Phoebe looks at her watch.) Phoebe: Piper, I'm kind of running late. I have to go sign the loan docs and I want to stop by the condo before work. Piper: Loan docs? (She stands up.) Wow, I didn't realize this was moving along so quickly. (Phoebe smiles.) But you know I've been so focused on getting Leo back. Phoebe: Yeah. I know. Piper: But I have made a list of seers and oracles and anyone that might be able to foresee who we'll have to fight in order to get him back. Phoebe: Great. Okay, well call me if you find anything. (She goes back to her box.) Piper: Well, I was thinking... uh, I was thinking that maybe you should take my jeep because my car holds so much more than yours doesn't it? Phoebe: Right. (Piper smiles.) Piper, are you sure you're okay with me moving out? Piper: Yeah. Of course I am. I mean, we can't be roommates forever. That's just weird. Phoebe: Okay. Well, here I go. (She grabs her box. Paige walks in from the kitchen and groans.) Paige: Oh, what am I gonna do? (Phoebe puts her box down.) I'm supposed to have a date with Henry tonight, and he is in the worst mood. He's lost his car keys, he's lost his wallet, he's locked himself out of his apartment. And I need him to be in a good mood for what I want to do tonight. Piper: We aren't talking about s*x, are we? Paige: No. We're not talking about s*x. I finally got up my courage to tell him, eh, you know, that I'm a witch. And I feel like I have to do it tonight otherwise I might woos out. I really need to know if he's, okay with who I am. You've been through this a lot, Pheebs. Got any advice? Phoebe: Well, hope he doesn't faint. (Paige rolls her eyes.) No. I don't know. I haven't had any success with these things. Just ease into it, you know, try to lessen the blow. Paige: Okay, how? Phoebe: Maybe call in some reinforcements. Maybe ask some of your magical friends to help him have a better day so you can have a better night. Paige: Like fairies or something? Phoebe: Sure. Fairies, leprechauns, whatever. (She turns back to her box.) Good luck. (Paige leaves.) Piper: Uh, Pheebs? Phoebe: Uh-huh? Piper: I was actually hoping that maybe you could help me narrow down the list a little bit before you go. Phoebe: Oh, Piper. I'm really late. Piper: Oh, okay. Well, you know, it's just Leo. (Phoebe makes a small noise.) Really come on. All I need is one little premonition. How hard can it be? Phoebe: Okay. (She drops the box on the floor.) [Scene: Magic School, Great Hall. The girl demons wait as Male Demon stands behind a table.] 'Demon1:' What more do we have to do to convince you? Male Demon: Convincing me is irrelevant. We only get one shot at freeing our brethren. 'Demon2:' We know that, Savard. ''''Savard:'''' Then you also know that there's a reason why our kind has been enslaved for centuries. The slave king is no ordinary demon. 'Demon3:' We escaped. 'Savard:' Yes. So we could return with enough power to destroy him. A power I'm not sure we've got yet. Demon3: We've spent the last eight years replicating the greatest power there is. Demon2: Charmed power. Demon1: And we've not only studied every aspect of what they know and who they are. Demon3: We've infused our blood with their magical blood so that their power is our power. Demon1: Which means, we may already have the Power of Three. 'Savard:' But you haven't shown it yet! (The three girls back off.) In any test or trial. Which means, you don't have it. And you need to get it. If you have any hopes of destroying the slave king. There must be a way. Think back. Tap into your knowledge of the riches. Demon1: Phoebe was stuck in a genie's bottle once. If we could trap her in it again, maybe we could command her, master to genie to tell us how. Demon3: Forget it. Leo got rid of the bottle. Demon2: What about using the sword? Excalibur? Demon3: No. Only Wyatt can wield it. Demon2: Okay. Maybe I could pose as Paige. Trick the Elders into helping us. Demon3: Uh, right. Like that's gonna work. Demon1: Look, do you have any ideas? Or are you just gonna shoot down all of ours? Demon3: Um, at least I don't come up with stupid ideas. (They start arguing. Savard slams his hand down.) Savard: Hey! (The girls stop.) Knock it off! At least you've got the sibling rivalry down pat. Demon1: Wait. The dollhouse. It's a magical replica of the real house, isn't it? Which is believed to be magical in and of itself. Demon3: The house is the witches' power base. Has been for generations. 'Savard:' So? Demon2: So, if we could trap all of them inside the dollhouse... Demon3: Like Piper was trapped once before... Demon2: Then we've got the Power of Three contained. And if we were in the real manor while they're in the dollhouse... Demon1: We might be able to channel the Power of Three into us. (The girls smile.) It just might work. (Savard smiles.) [Scene: Manor, attic. Savard shimmers in. He finds the dollhouse under a cloth covering.] Piper: (from downstairs) Anybody up there? (Savard puts his hand on the dollhouse and shimmers out with it. Piper enters.) Hello? (She finds the book stand empty. She leaves.) [Cut to Phoebe's bedroom. Billie sits on the bed, flipping through the Book of Shadows and taking notes. Papers, books, and notes are spread all over. Piper enters.] Piper: Billie, what are you doing? 'Billie:' What else? Still trying to find my sister. Trying to figure out what this symbol means or where it leads. I figure it has to be demonic, right? Piper: No. I mean... Billie: I mean, if it's in her diary, you'd think I'd be able to find something about it in this book, but I... Piper: Billie, what are you doing in Phoebe's room? Billie: Oh, uh, well she said I could hang out in here because she's not gonna be using it. Is that okay? Piper: Oh. Yeah. Sure. I mean, you know, if she's not going to be using it anymore. Billie: Maybe I should just take this stuff to my dorm. Piper: No, no, no. Don't be ridiculous. I just, you know, I wish she would've said something, that's all. Is that our spirit board? Billie: Uh, yeah, she said I could borrow it to contact Christy. Can I? Piper: Yeah. You know, sure. If you want to start paying rent. (Billie gives her a look. Piper grins.) Just kidding. Can I borrow the Book? (The Book of Shadows orbs out.) Billie: Hey, where'd it go? [Cut to Conservatory. The Book of Shadows is opened on the Fairies page. The picture comes to life as a real fairy, which hovers above the Book. Paige sits on the couch.] Paige: Hey, there. Okay. Here's the thing. My sort of hopefully he'll become my boyfriend Henry, he's having a bit of a problem losing things like a wallet, his eyes, you know, stuff like that. And not to cast any aspersions on your character, you guys are known for the kind of sticky finger problem. (The fairy smiles.) So I was wondering if you could go back to your people, and tell them to put everything back. That would help me so much because I really, really, really need his undivided attention tonight. (The fairy nods.) Thank you. (The fairy zooms away. Piper comes downstairs.) Piper: Paige, what are you doing? Paige: Just taking Phoebe's advice. (She grins and leaves. Piper closes and picks up the Book of Shadows.) [Scene: Henry's office. Paige sits at his desk as Henry talks to her.] ''''Henry:' Really? It's the most amazing thing. I mean, first my keys turn up in the laundry. Then one of my parolees find my wallet. Still has everything in it. Paige: That's great. 'Henry:' My 49ers hat, I lost it in high school. My letterman's jacket. It's like everything is turning up. It's crazy. Paige: Very subtle. I mean, very, very lucky. Some would say magical. 'Henry:' Yeah, I don't know, but I'll take it. Paige: So good. Are we still on for dinner? 'Henry:' What's so important that you can't tell me right now? Paige: You're just going to have to wait and hear all about it tonight. Seven o'clock okay? 'Henry:' Look, Paige. Five of my parolees have job interviews tomorrow. They all asked me to write letters of recommendation for them tonight. Paige: Okay. Write them. 'Henry:' Yeah. Well, that's a little easier said than done. I, um, I'm not a writer, Paige. Look-look, please. Don't think that I don't want to go out with you, okay, I do. I have all this work. I don't want to let these guys down. Who knows, maybe I'll get inspired. (Paige stands up.) Paige: I think should count on that. I'll see you at seven, Henry. (She steps out of the office and closes the door behind her.) (whispers) "Being of creativity, show yourself to me." (The muse appears.) Hey, muse, right? Could you do me a favor and inspire my friend Henry in there. I'd really appreciate it. Thank you. (She leaves. The muse goes into Henry's office.) [Scene: Bay Mirror, Phoebe's office. Phoebe is on her laptop.] Assistant: Phoebe, Piper's on line 2-5. Phoebe: Okay. Got it. (She picks up the line.) Hey. What's up? Piper: Have you ever heard of a wizard named Zakal? Phoebe: No. Why? [Cut to Manor, dining room. Piper sits at the table, looking through the Book of Shadows.] Piper: Well, he's been around for ages, and supposedly he's very well connected. He worked for the Source back in the day. Phoebe: Uh-huh. Piper: Are you typing? [Cut to Bay Mirror. Phoebe stops typing and goes to the window.] Phoebe: Uh, no. No. I'm not writing. Of course I'm not writing. Piper: Phoebe, this is important. This guy could know who's after us. Phoebe: Or not. Look, sweetie, bringing Leo home is the most important thing in the world. To all of us. But it's not going to happen over night. Piper: It's also not going to happen if we don't try. Phoebe: Yeah, but we have been trying. And we can't just stop living our lives, you know. I mean, you said so yourself. Piper: Yeah, well. I didn't mean it. (Phoebe sighs.) Look, I just don't want to lose this lead, okay? He could know something. Phoebe: All right, look. I haven't signed the loan docs yet, so why don't I swing by after work. Piper: Well, you have my car. And the car seats are in my car. Well, I have to drop the kids off at dad's don't I? Phoebe: Okay, you know what, I'm beginning to think that you're sabotaging me moving out. Piper: Are you kidding me? Please, I've already rented out your room. (Phoebe smiles.) Oh, by the way could you do me a favor and pick up some mandrake root on your way home? If this guy, Zakal, doesn't want to be cooperative, we may need a vanquishing potion. Okay, thanks. [Cut to Manor. Piper hangs up.] [Scene: Bay Mirror, hallway. Phoebe pushes the button for the elevator. The bell dings and the door opens. She steps inside. Savard, in a suit, stands there.] Phoebe: Hi. (She pushes the floor button.) 'Savard:' Hello. (The doors close. He waves his hand and catches Phoebe's jacket as she slips out of it and onto the floor, unconscious. Demon1 shimmers in.) Demon1: I've always admired her sense of fashion. (She morphs into Phoebe. Savard hands her the jacket.) 'Savard:' Keys are in the pocket. (She puts the jacket on.) Remember, get the sisters to use the Power of Three as soon as possible. So we can see if this is going to work or not. '''''Phoebe':' But we have no idea what's going on in their lives right now. Savard: Just wing it. Be yourself. Or rather, be Phoebe. Just don't get too eager. You'll tip the sisters off. (He puts a hand on Phoebe and shimmers out. The elevator doors open and 'Phoebe' walks out.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Dollhouse, living room. Phoebe stands up.] Phoebe: Piper? (No answer.) Paige? (She flicks the light switch, but the lights don't turn on. She goes to the window and pulls the curtains aside. She goes to the front door and walks out onto the porch. She is in a demonic cave. Savard shimmers in and she gasps. She runs back inside. Savard kicks the house, making it shake. He carries the dollhouse onto a small table and kneels in front of it.) 'Savard:' First time's a foot. Next time, a fireball. [Scene: Manor, kitchen. Piper is cooking at the stove. Paige walks in.] Piper: Hey, good, you're back. How'd it go with Henry? (Paige sits on a stool.) Paige: Oh, not so hot. I had to summon a muse. (She picks up a spoon and stirs the pot as Piper adds something.) Piper: Oh, fairy wasn't cutting it? Paige: No. I cannot believe how hard it is just to tell somebody about magic. Piper: Just wait 'til you have to explain demons to him. Which, by the way, we will be going after one if Phoebe ever gets home. Paige: That's a big adjustment, huh? Piper: No. I mean, she's moved out before. Paige: Right. Are you okay with it? Piper: Why does everybody keep asking me that? Paige: Well, I don't know. Because you guys have lived together since the age of zero. Piper: Believe me. I'm fine. Really. Really! I just need her to help me with this wizard, and that's all. ('Phoebe' enters.) ''Phoebe':' Oh, hello. (Paige smiles.) Paige: Hey, there. 'Phoebe': Can I come in? Piper: Of course you can come in. Don't be ridiculous. Thank you for coming. 'Phoebe': Well, great. Whatever you need. Piper: Thank you. 'Phoebe': You're welcome. So what do you need? Piper: The mandrake root. 'Phoebe': Oh, right. The mandrake root. Where exactly do we keep that again? Piper: You were supposed to get some on your way home. Paige: You know, for the whole wizard situation. 'Phoebe': Oh, yeah. That's right. Uh, are we gonna need the Power of Three by any chance for this? Piper: You know we will? What's the matter with you? 'Phoebe': Oh, you know. It's just... Paige: Oh, it's probably just the move. 'Phoebe': Yeah. Yeah. Okay, let's see where I put that mandrake root. (She puts her hand in her pocket. It glows and she pulls out some mandrake root.) Oh, yeah. Here it is. Now, let's go get those demons, shall we? (She tosses it into the pot.) [Scene: Attic. Piper blasts Zakal against the wall. Paige and 'Phoebe' stand by her.] Piper: How'd that feel? Last time. Have you or have you not foreseen any threats against us? Zakal: I'm old. I'm afraid my visions haven't been very reliable lately. 'Phoebe': Oh, bull. Let's just vanquish him. (She's about to throw the potion at him.) Paige: Wait. We don't have to do this so quickly. We can probably get some stuff out of him. Piper: Help us and we'll spare you. Zakal: All I'll tell you is that by the time you figure out which demon is after you, it'll be too late! 'Phoebe': All right, you know what? Forget this. Piper: Phoebe, no-no-no-no! (She throws the potion at Zakal, vanquishing him.) 'Phoebe': I did it. Piper: Yeah, you did it. Why? 'Phoebe': What do you mean? He's a demon. We vanquish demons. I mean, that's what we do, right? Paige: Yeah, actually. But we could have made him talk first. 'Phoebe': No. Not Zakal. (They give her a look.) I mean, you know, it's not like he was going to say anything. Piper: Well, he's certainly not going to say anything now. What the hell were you thinking? [Scene: Underworld, cave. Phoebe stands at the dollhouse's living room window and watches as Demon2 and Demon3 shimmer in.] Savard: Well? Demon2: It worked. Demon3: She blasted Zakal right out of his robe. Savard: Using the Power of Three? Demon2: Definitely. Savard: All right. It's time to switch one more sister. Demon3: One more? Why not both of us? We know we can channel the Power of Three now. So, let's just go vanquish the Slave King. Savard: We cannot vanquish him without the potion which means we need a witch to find it for us in the Book of Shadows. Demon3: So why don't we go look for it? Savard: Because you might be able to fool the sisters, but you cannot fool the Book. It senses evil. Demon2: He's right? (Savard points at Demon2.) Savard: You go. Play on Piper's desire to get Leo back. Make it look like the Slave King is behind it all. She will do anything to get her husband back. (Demon2 smiles.) [Scene: Manor, upstairs hallway. Piper and Paige follow 'Phoebe' from the attic.] Piper: Wait a second. I'm still talking to you. 'Phoebe': Well, I said I was sorry. What more would you like me to say? Piper: I want you to tell me why you did that. Why you didn't wait for my cue? 'Phoebe': Well, because I was afraid we were going to be attacked. Piper: Yeah, well, I'm afraid of losing Leo. 'Phoebe': Okay. Don't use the guilt card with me. Like you did with Cole. Piper: Cole? Can you think of perhaps a more recent example? 'Phoebe': Well, yeah, I can, but I can't right now because I'm a little flustered. Paige: Guys! Piper: I cannot believe that you care more about getting back to your new condo than Leo. 'Phoebe': How can you even say that? Piper: Do you have another explanation? 'Phoebe': Well, yes. I do. But I'm not going to tell you. (She goes into her bedroom and closes the door behind her. She listens at the door.) Billie: Phoebe? (She spots Billie still on the bed.) 'Phoebe': Billie. Hey. What are you doing here? Billie: Well, you told me I could use your room, right? 'Phoebe': Oh, yeah. Right. Billie: I just meant I didn't know you were still here. Do you want me to leave? 'Phoebe': No. No. Don't be silly. (She sighs.) So why don't tell me about how your search for Chrissie is going. (She sits down.) Billie: You mean Christy? 'Phoebe': Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean. (She waves her hand.) Whatever. [Cut to parlor. Paige follows Piper downstairs.] Piper: First, all she cares about is her stupid condo, then she comes back here to help and now she's suddenly trigger happy? She's all over the map. Paige: I'm sure there's some perfectly good reason. Piper: Oh, yeah. Well, I am still waiting for it. Paige: Maybe she was just flustered. Piper: Flustered? If anybody has the right to be flustered around here it would be the newly single mom, okay? Paige: You're right. Piper: Now, I have to go find another damn wizard. (She looks at the dining room table.) Where is the Book? Paige: Guess it's still in the attic. (Piper sighs and goes upstairs. Paige's phone rings. She answers it.) Hey, mister. You better not be canceling on me. Henry: Uh, I'm not. [Cut to Henry's office. Henry sits at his desk on the phone.] Henry: Unless you're breaking up with me, then maybe I should. Paige: Oh, got you scared, huh? Henry: Little bit. Little bit. I finished those letters. And wrote you a love letter. Got inspired. Paige: I can't wait to hear it. Assuming you still want to read it to me. Henry: Why wouldn't I? (The intercom beeps.) Voice: (intercom) Henry, they need you down at the station now. Henry: Hang on a second, Paige. (to intercom) What's going on? Voice: GPS went down on your parolees transmitters. (Henry stands up and starts gathering his things.) Sergeant needs you to help find them. Henry: Great. Paige: What does that mean? Henry: Means I got to go. Paige: Eh! What about dinner? Henry: Sorry, Paige. Bad luck. (He hangs up.) [Cut to Paige. She hangs up and rolls her eyes.] [Scene: Living room. Paige is talking to a leprechaun.] O'Brien: I'm not on call, you know. Paige: Look, I'm not in the mood, okay? Really, really, I'm not. And besides, you guys owe me. You remember a little somebody named Shamus? O'Brien: Ha! So, now it's blackmail, is it? Paige: No. It's not blackmail. Look, I just need my boyfriend Henry to have a little bit of luck, which is why I need your help. So just please come meet me at the police station in an hour and I will explain to you, okay? O'Brien: All right. But don't be late. I'm a busy leprechaun, you know. Go n-eiri an bother leat! (A rainbow appears. He steps into it and disappears. Savard is behind Paige.) Savard: Don't you just hate leprechauns? (He waves his hand and Paige falls to the ground, unconscious. Demon2 shimmers in and morphs into Paige.) You know what to do. (He puts a hand on Paige and shimmers out.) '''''Paige':' Yes. I think I do. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Dollhouse, living room. Phoebe leads Paige in.] Phoebe: Welcome to the dollhouse. We're trapped, and even worse than that, we are really, really small. (They go to the window.) Paige: Okay, are you saying that that means there is no way out of this place? Phoebe: Well, unless you want to get squished. Paige: This can't be. I have a date tonight. Sorry. Can't miss it. Give me your hand. We're orbing out of here. (She takes Phoebe's hand.) Phoebe: Yeah, but... (She tries to orb out, but can't.) Paige: Why didn't that work? What is wrong with my powers? Phoebe: See? That's what I'm trying to tell you. I think our powers were downsized as well. (Savard is working at his desk. Paige spots a rock.) Paige: Rock. (The rock orbs a little. Savard glances at them, then goes back to his work.) Uh, who's he? Phoebe: Uh, he's the demon that replaced us with lookalikes. Which, by the way, I can't even believe that you didn't notice that wasn't me. Paige: Well, so are we. You only vanquished a wizard with us. She van-she van-her-the not you...whatever. Wait a second. We used the Power of Three. Phoebe: Yeah. I think that's part of their plan. They keep us here, and then use the Power of Three to vanquish some guy named the slave king and unfortunately, us. Paige: We have to get to Piper somehow before they do. Phoebe: Yeah, but how? [Scene: Manor, Phoebe's bedroom. 'Phoebe' lays on the bed, bored.] Billie: So then I tried to match the symbol with the council but it wasn't a direct match. It just didn't work. I don't understand. 'Phoebe': You know what? That's just a really boring story. Billie: Boring? 'Phoebe': Yeah. I you should just give up. I mean, it's not like you're going to really find her anyway. (She leaves and walks into 'Paige' in the hallway.) Paige, don't start with me, okay? I have a headache. 'Paige': Forget it, lady. I'm on to you. 'Phoebe': What do you mean? ('Paige' chuckles.) 'Paige': Relax. It's just me, Patra. 'Phoebe': Oh, thank god. This sister stuff is taxing. 'Paige': Don't worry. It'll all be over soon. (They go up to the attic, where Piper sits on the couch, looking through the Book of Shadows.) There you are. Piper: If you two are up here to gang up on me, forget it. 'Paige': No. Of course not. Phoebe's come to apologize. Haven't you, Phoebe? Piper: Really? (She closes the Book of Shadows.) Okay, I'm listening. 'Phoebe': Well, Piper, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for nothing being myself lately, and if it seems that I don't care about what you're going through, I'm sorry. Piper: Thank you. I'm sorry, too. 'Paige': Well, great. Now that that's taken care of, I've got a lead. Piper: What? How? 'Paige': Whitelighter grapevine. Turns out that there's a fast rising demon in the underworld known as the Slave King. 'Phoebe': Oh, the Slave King. Yeah, I've heard of him. Piper: Really? I haven't. 'Phoebe': Well, the Elders have. What do you say we track him down and see if we can find anything. Piper: I don't know. I think we should focus on this demonic seer I found. 'Paige': No, no. The Elders say he's pretty evil. He's enslaved an entire demonic race for centuries now. Piper: Well, that actually sounds like a good thing. 'Paige': No. It's not. He's forcing them to do his demonic bidding. (Piper gives her a look.) It's just something we should check on is all. 'Phoebe': What have we got to lose? 'Paige': Yeah. Piper: You two seem awfully gung ho about this. 'Phoebe': Well, anything to find Leo, hon. 'Paige': Should we look at the Book? (Piper goes over to the Book and opens it.) [Scene: Police Station. O'Brien is sitting on a chair and sighs. He looks up and sees Henry find a red folder on the filing cabinet. Henry takes it and shakes his head.] O'Brien: I can't believe I'm being stood up. (He stands up.) By a witch. (He leaves.) [Cut to Manor, attic. Piper flips through the Book of Shadows as her 'sisters' stand behind her.] 'Paige': Uh, so you see anything? Piper: Not yet. (A rainbow appears and so does O'Brien.) O'Brien: (to 'Paige') Why didn't you meet me like you said? 'Paige': Oh, I'm sorry. You're? O'Brien: Someone who's got better things to do than chasing the whims of a witch. No matter how good you been to the little people. 'Paige': Well, I've just been busy helping my sister. O'Brien: I was just trying to give your boyfriend a little luck. That is what you want, isn't it? 'Paige': That sounds just, swell. So how about you go give that guy some luck. Scamper off. Skeedaddle. Go with God. (She smiles and waves him off.) O'Brien: Fine. But after this, we're even. Go n-eiri an bother leat! (A rainbow appears. He steps in and the two disappear.) 'Phoebe': Now where were we? [Cut to police station. A rainbow appears in a closed room. O'Brien opens the door and peeks in. He sees Henry and takes out his gold, waving his shillelagh over it.] O'Brien: Slainte is tainte! (A burst of luck travels to Henry. O'Brien smiles. Henry sees him. O'Brien salutes him and leaves. Man1 walks in with a guy.) Man1: Hey. Henry? You're in luck. Look who I found. Henry: Jameson. Where'd you find him? Jameson: I was just walking in and there he was. Walked right up to me and turned himself in. Officer1: Henry! (He walks in with two more parolees.) Got two more for you. Caught them just before they left town. Henry: Where'd you find them? I've been looking for them for weeks. (His phone rings. He answers it.) Yeah, it's Mitchell. What? I just won ten thous-I just won $10,000. I just won $10,000! (Two more officers walk, both with a recaptured parolee.) What is going on today? [Cut to attic.] Piper: Well, he's powerful, but he's no seer. I don't know why he would know who's after us. Maybe the Elders don't know what they're talking about. 'Paige': Well, who are we to question them? Piper: We question them all the time. 'Paige': Right. Maybe this time they just know something we don't. 'Phoebe': Okay. Can we get on with this? I have to get to work. 'Paige': Any vanquishing potion in there? Piper: No. 'Phoebe': Okay. Well, we can make one, right? In the back of the book. Just flip to the back of the book. Piper: I know, thank you. (Golden orbs swirl around her, but disappear.) What was that? Did you see that? 'Paige': See what? Piper: You didn't see that? That was weird. It felt like somebody was calling me or something. 'Phoebe': That is odd. Uh, is that the potion? Piper: All right. (to 'Phoebe') What is the matter with you two? 'Phoebe': This. (She punches Piper, knocking her down.) 'Paige': Cave. (Piper orbs out. Demon3 shimmers in.) Demon3: It's about time. (She morphs into Piper and goes to the Book.) Okay. We're gonna need some henbane, gypsy's blood and hemlock root. [Cut to Dollhouse, foyer. Piper is thrown on the floor. Savard leans in. Phoebe and Paige rush to her.] Savard: Together again. (He waves his fingers and shuts the main doors.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Underworld, cave. Savard walks away from the dollhouse.] [Cut into Dollhouse. Phoebe and Paige help Piper up.] Phoebe: Piper, are you okay? Piper: No. You punched me. Phoebe: I did not punch you. Paige: It's her demonic double. Piper: What? What are you talking about? Paige: We've been replaced. (They go into the parlor.) Piper: Oh, no, no, no. Don't tell me we're stuck in the dollhouse. Phoebe: It seems to be an annual event for you. (Paige sits on the couch.) Piper: Oh, I should've known they were demons. Paige: Speaking of demons, did they mention Slave King to you? Piper: Yes. Right before I showed them the vanquishing potion. Paige: Oh, great. Phoebe: Well, there's nothing you could've done. Maybe if I'd been around more lately... Piper: No. Forget about it, Phoebe. It wasn't your fault. Paige: The question is how do we get out of here? We couldn't even call you with the lost witch spell. Piper: Oh, that was you. I thought I felt something. Phoebe: Maybe it'll work on Billie? Paige: How? We don't even have enough power to cast a spell. Piper: No. But maybe we have enough to get through to the spirit board. Do you think Grams made a replica of that? [Scene: Manor, Phoebe's bedroom. Billie is scrying on her computer. The pointer on the Spirit Board moves.] Billie: Christy? D-o-l-l... d-o-l-l-h-o-u-s-e. Dollhouse? [Scene: Attic. Billie comes in.] Billie: You guys, the weirdest thing just happened. 'Phoebe': Now. 'Paige': Mustard seed. Billie: No. But you don't understand. The spirit board, it worked. I actually got a message. ''Piper':' What kind of message? Billie: Well, it spelled out 'dollhouse'. And I don't think that was from Christy, but you guys have a dollhouse, right? 'Phoebe': Actually, we got rid of it. 'Paige': Keep stirring. Billie: But I thought I saw Wyatt playing with it a few days ago? 'Piper': We'll look for it later. We have a demon to vanquish. Billie: Don't you think this means something? ('Phoebe' puts down the spoon and goes to Billie.) 'Phoebe': I do believe that my sister just asked you to leave. Billie: Excuse me? 'Paige': Are you dense? We really don't have time for your crap right now. Billie: This is a joke, right? You guys have to be joking. 'Piper': Do we look like we're joking? 'Paige': Did anybody ever tell you what a giant pain in the ass you are? Billie: What? ('Phoebe' pushes her down.) 'Piper': I don't know why we keep you around. Billie: But... 'Phoebe': Get rid of her. 'Paige': Gladly. Front porch. (Billie orbs out.) That was fun. ('Phoebe' sighs.) 'Phoebe': Do you think we were too hard on her? I would hate to have blown our cover. 'Paige': Doesn't matter. We don't have to look like the Charmed Ones anymore. (She morphs back into herself.) We've got the Power of Three. (Demon1 and Demon3 both morph back.) Demon1: It's time to free our kind. (She and Demon3 pick up potions and they shimmer out. Patra shimmers out.) [Scene: Slave King's World. Demon3, Demon1, and Patra walk in.] Slave King: How dare you escape me. And how dare you return! Come closer. (They don't move.) Come closer. (The guard pushes Demon3 closer.) You would've been wise to have taken your own lives on the outside. Rather than suffer through how I'm going to take them for you. Where's the other? Savard? Demon1: He's waiting for us to bring him the good news. Slave King: The good news? What good news? Demon3: Of your demise. (Slave King laughs.) Slave King: Kill them. (The guard steps forward.) Patra: Now! (They throw potions at the Slave King. He's vanquished, along with his guards.) Demon3: It worked. Patra: We did it. Demon1: I don't believe it. [Scene: Underworld, cave. Piper stands on the balcony. Her sisters are at the living room window.] Piper: Uh, just out of curiosity, if this doesn't work, what's Plan B? Phoebe: This is Plan B. Billie was Plan A. Piper: Well, remind me to evict her if we get out of this. Paige: (to Phoebe) You're sure this is gonna work? Phoebe: Well, I hope so. It's your plan. Paige: You have a point there. (Savard walks over to his desk.) Phoebe: Okay. Do it now. Paige: Pointy thing. (A pointed rock orbs closer.) Phoebe: Oh, it only moved a little. Paige: Well, maybe that's because I am little. Phoebe: Okay. Well, try again. Keep trying. Paige: Pointy thing. (The pointed rock orbs closer.) Phoebe: Better. Okay, Piper. You're up. Piper: Hey! Yoo-hoo. (She whistles.) Hello? We'd like to have a little chat down here. (Savard walks over.) Phoebe: (to Paige) Okay. A little to the left. Paige: (whispers) Pointy thing. (The pointed rock orbs closer.) Phoebe: (whispers) Perfect. Savard: What do you want? Piper: You. (She blasts him. He falls back, his head hitting the pointed rock. He is vanquished. Piper rushes down to her sisters.) Let's get out of here! (Demon3, Demon1, and Patra shimmer in.) Demon3: Where's Savard? Patra: Savard? Piper: Oh, I think they have a height advantage. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Underworld, cave.] Demon1: Our kind is finally free, but now Savard will never see it. Demon3: I don't understand. How could they have killed him? Patra: I don't know. But they did. [Cut to dollhouse, living room.] Phoebe: Okay, if Billie doesn't show up in like two seconds, we're doll parts. Piper: Hang on. There might be another way. Paige: Talk fast. Piper: Well, our individual powers are diminished, put not the Power of Three. Obviously they're using it. Phoebe: Talk faster. Piper: Well, if we can get them to stop channeling us, and use their demonic powers, then we can get the Power of Three back. Phoebe: Theoretically speaking, right? Piper: All we got are theories. Demon3: This is for Savard. Piper: Hey, hey. Hang on a second. What are you - you're gonna kill me with my own power? What are you, kidding me? How insulting let alone boring. Phoebe: Yeah. Show some pride. You know what I mean? Be original. Paige: You guys must suffer from really low self esteem near as I can figure. Phoebe: Which is clearly why they had to steal our powers. Piper: That must be very humiliating. (The demons throw fireballs at them, but Paige puts her hand on the wall of the house and orbs the house out.) [Cut to Manor, attic; the dollhouse orbs in. Billie walks over.] Billie: Oh, thank god. I knew you guys wouldn't really be that mean to me. I mean, I know I can be a huge pain in the ass sometimes... Piper: Billie, zip it! Go get the Book. Billie: Oh, the Book. Right. (She goes to the Book of Shadows.) Phoebe: Find the power switching spell. Piper: Switch, uh, switch bodies with powers. And then, you know. Improvise. Billie: Okay. Who are we switching? Piper: Them. (The demons shimmer into the attic.) Demon1: I thought we booted your ass out. Billie: Uh, you did. But they didn't. (She motions to the dollhouse.) "What's theirs is yours, what's yours is theirs." (Demon1 throws a fireball at her. She ducks.) "I offer up this gift to share. Switch the bodies through the air." (The sisters and the demons switch places; the demons now trapped in the dollhouse.) Paige: You wanted to live like us, now I guess you get to die like us. Demon3/Demon1/Patra: Oh, crap. (Piper blows up the dollhouse.) Billie: Well, they say imitation is the greatest from of flattery. (The sisters say nothing.) Well, they do. (Phoebe smiles. Piper shakes her head. Paige rolls her eyes.) [Scene: Rooftop. Paige and Henry sit at a candle-lit dinner of Chinese take out and wine.] Paige: Hey, Henry. Henry: Yeah? Paige: Guess what? Henry: What? Paige: I like you. Henry: Hey, Paige. Guess what? Paige: What? Henry: I like you, too. (They kiss.) I'll tell you, this day is getting a lot better than how it started. Paige: Yeah. So far. Henry: Why do you keep saying things like that? What do you have to tell me? Come on. It can't be that bad. Rooftop picnic. Starlight, candles. Wait, wait. I want to guess first actually. Hold on. Let me see. You used to be a man before? No. That's not true, right? Good. Come on. Tell me. What is it? Paige: I don't think you're gonna like it. Henry: You try me. Paige: Have you ever wondered about the kind of strange things that happen with me and kind of since you've known me? Like why was I there trying to help your parolee? How did I find that baby's father so quickly? Henry: How'd you get that guy to tell the truth? Paige: How did you get shot and miraculously survive? And even little things like today. Finding your keys and your wallet. And then there's that winning of the $10,000 thing which you should probably give to charity. Because that, you know... Henry: Okay. Okay. What are you trying to tell me, Paige? Paige: Do you believe in magic? Henry: I don't know. I don't think about it much. Why? Paige: I think it's time that you did. Lights. (Orb lights appear above their heads.) I'm doing that now. Henry: How? Paige: I'm a witch. I have powers. Uh, I can make these kind of things happen. I'm not the kind of witch that rides around on broomsticks, or the hat or with the little black cat. That sort of thing. Um, I use my powers for good. I help people. And this is not going well, and I can see how completely scared off you are from me. Door's right there, and it won't hurt my feelings. (She turns away.) Henry: Paige? Paige: What? Henry: Look at me. (Paige does.) I'm not afraid. (He reaches for Paige and kiss.) [Scene: Manor, parlor. Piper comes downstairs with a box.] Piper: Hang on. There's just one more. Phoebe: Really? I thought I grabbed all the boxes. Piper: Well, this one I kind of put together for you just in case you need more herbs or potion vials, or crystals, or you know Cliff notes of the Book of Shadows, just in case. Phoebe: Just in case a demon attacks. Piper: Yeah. Don't laugh. It's gonna happen. And you know it. And when it does, you're gonna be alone. Phoebe: Piper, I'm just moving into town, you know. It's not that far away. Piper: Yeah. But it's not down the hall. Phoebe: That's true. You know, if you don't want to go... Piper: No. You've got to go. There's some blonde chick asleep in your room. I'm just a little sad. But I can be a little sad. Phoebe: Absolutely. I'm sad, too. Piper: It's just...you know, it's been a lot of change. Phoebe: You know this will always be my home, right? And that will never change. This is family. Piper: Yeah. Okay. You've got to go. (Piper gives her the box. Phoebe kisses her cheek.) Phoebe: See you. (Piper nods. Phoebe leaves as her sister watches her go. The front door opens and closes.)

As Phoebe begins to out of the manor, a trio of demons looks to hijack the sisters' lives in order to obtain the Power of Three and the Book of Shadows. The demons' plan almost goes off without a hitch, but thanks to call for help sent to Billie, the sisters are able to return to their rightful places inside the manor and vanquish the demons. Meanwhile, Paige decides to tell Henry about her magical powers and looks to Phoebe for advice about how to do it without freaking him out.

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_03x30

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_03x30_0

THE CELESTIAL TOYMAKER by BRIAN HAYLES and GERRY DAVIS first broadcast - 2nd April 1966 running time - 24mins 40secs [SCENE_BREAK] 1. INSIDE THE TARDIS (STEVEN and the DOCTOR are inside the TARDIS control room.) STEVEN: We're landing now Doctor. DOCTOR: Good. That means the gravitational bearing must have rectified itself. (DODO enters from one of the other rooms.) DODO: Hey, look at this! (DODO models her groovy new outfit, a sleeveless mini dress. The upper portion is light-colored with a dark, misshaped circle in the center. The bottom portion is dark-colored with light, misshaped circles all around. On her head she wears a cap with a visor. She looks like she just came from Carnaby Street. Meanwhile, the DOCTOR switches off the TARDIS.) DODO: Ain't it fab? (STEVEN walks over to her and examines her clothes with approval.) STEVEN: Yes... hmm, very nice. (The DOCTOR sneezes and as he does so he slowly fades away. STEVEN and DODO don't notice right away because they are facing each other.) STEVEN: Bless you. DODO: Oh Doctor, don't say you're catching a cold now. (Now STEVEN and DODO turn toward the DOCTOR and discover that he's disappeared.) STEVEN: Doctor? Well, where are you? (The DOCTOR briefly fades in and out of sight but then completely disappears.) DOCTOR: What do you mean, dear boy? I'm still here, hmm? STEVEN: Huh? (STEVEN and DODO walk toward the spot where they last saw the DOCTOR standing.) DODO: Doctor, you've vanished! DOCTOR: What? Oh nonsense child! Nonsense! Hmm! DODO: (Looking at STEVEN.) You have! Do you think this is something to do with the Refusians? STEVEN: Why... it must be! DOCTOR: You're wrong! (The DOCTOR begins walking around the control room. DODO and STEVEN turn and follow his voice.) DOCTOR: This is something far more serious. We're in grave danger. This is some form of attack! (DODO and STEVEN look anxiously at each other.) STEVEN: But we're still in the TARDIS! (The DOCTOR continues walking around the room, his voice floating around the TARDIS. DODO and STEVEN continue to follow it.) DOCTOR: That may be, my boy, but wherever it is, it has great power and can penetrate our safety barrier. (The TARDIS' scanner is not on, thus the DOCTOR and his companions cannot see outside. They have materialized inside a room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2. OUTSIDE THE TARDIS - THE OCTAGONAL ROOM (The TARDIS is standing in the middle of an octagonal room, similar to the TARDIS itself. From each angle, lines stretch to the centre of the room. The police box is situated at the exact point where the lines intersect. The room they are in is white and radiates a soft, incandescent glow. There is a plain, wooden bench facing one of the walls, and against the wall immediately behind the TARDIS is a plain, wooden cupboard. No one is in the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3. INSIDE THE TARDIS (Unknown to STEVEN and DODO, the DOCTOR has again changed his position. They think that they are still standing beside him.) DOCTOR: Don't just stand there, dear boy, turn on the scanner! (STEVEN and DODO jump and turn around. The DOCTOR is now behind them.) DODO: But Doctor! DOCTOR: Don't ask questions, child. There isn't time. Turn on the scanner! (STEVEN runs to the TARDIS' console, flips on the scanner, and looks up at it. The screen is blank.) STEVEN: It isn't working. DOCTOR: Yes, it is. When it isn't working, the screen is not as clear as that. This is part of the same trick! DODO: (To the DOCTOR, worriedly.) But what are we to do? Let's take off at once! DOCTOR: (Moving across the room.) That might be worse, my dear. Besides, I'm not only invisible, I'm intangible, which means that I can't pull the switches. (STEVEN moves around the TARDIS searching in vain for the DOCTOR's new location.) STEVEN: Well, I'll do it if you tell me what to do. DOCTOR: No! Whatever it is, we shall have to face up to it. Open the doors. STEVEN: (Shaking his head.) But Doctor! DOCTOR: (Emphatically.) Open the doors! (STEVEN returns to the TARDIS' console and opens the doors. The DOCTOR leaves.) DODO: We should go! STEVEN: Can't! DODO: Hey, if the Doctor's intangible, why did he need to open the doors? He could have just walked through them. (STEVEN stands by the doors and looks out.) STEVEN: (He says over his shoulder.) Habit, I suppose. (facing DODO.) C'mon, we should follow. DODO: (Shaking her head.) You won't get me out there. (STEVEN steps just outside of the TARDIS.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4. THE CELESTIAL TOYMAKER'S PRIVATE STUDY (THE TOYMAKER is in his ornate 18th century-styled study examining his spectacular kingdom. The roof of his study consists of outer space with stars and galaxies twinkling. The walls stretch up toward the blackness until they are indistinguishable from space and merge with it. The walls are filled with dozens of toys of all types, i.e., mechanical toys, electronic toys, dolls, bears, puppets, masks, etc. All around the room are antique tables. Each of them have a doll's house or a marionette theatre. Some tables have different kinds of games such as pinball machines and chess. Others have centuries-old board games. THE TOYMAKER is lounging in a black Chinese chair behind a lacquered Chinese desk inlaid with mother-of-pearl and scenes of Chinese life. Further around the room there is a collection of mechanical clocks. Some have figurines that come out and strike the hour with huge gongs. Others have figures of Father Time with his scythe that come out on the hour. Even cuckoo clocks and grandfather clocks are here. THE TOYMAKER's antique desk has a series of futuristic switches and buttons glowing softly with a carefully coded system of multi-coloured lights. In front of the desk stands a triangular table with the letters A, B, and C inlaid in each corner. On two sides of the table there are two chairs. THE TOYMAKER rises. He is a tall, imposing figure, dressed as a Chinese Mandarin with a circular black hat embossed with heavy gold thread, a large silver red and blue collar, and a heavy, stiffly- embroidered black robe encrusted with rubies, emeralds, diamonds, and pearls set against a background of coiled Chinese dragons. He looks around the room and then walks over to the first doll's house, a large Victorian one with Victorian furnishings. He considers the Victorian dressed dolls there but passes them by. Next, he goes to the first of the toy theatres. There is a circus inside featuring two clowns.) CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: (To the clown dolls.) You'll serve my purpose admirably. You're very good at games. Clowns always are. You can show Steven and Dodo some of your tricks into the bargain. (He removes the clowns. One is a girl doll dressed in a harlequin, one-piece costume. She is smiling. The other doll is a male with a very sad face. He wears a white baggy suit with ruffles and a cone-shaped clown hat. THE TOYMAKER puts them on the floor and raises his left hand. The large sapphire ring on his left hand begins to flash as he points his hand toward the clowns. The dolls start to grow until they are life-size. Each gives THE TOYMAKER a comic bow.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5. INSIDE THE TARDIS (DODO remains behind in the TARDIS while STEVEN steps just outside to look around.) DODO: (To STEVEN.) If you want to go, then you go, but I'm sure that the Doctor... (Happily.) Doctor! (The DOCTOR has reappeared.) DOCTOR: Hmm? What is it? [SCENE_BREAK] 6. OUTSIDE THE TARDIS - THE OCTAGONAL ROOM (DODO steps outside of the TARDIS.) DODO: (Happily.) There you are! STEVEN: (With relief.) We can see you! Everything's alright! (The DOCTOR looks down at his hands.) DOCTOR: (Happily.) Oh, you can see me?! STEVEN & DODO: Yes! DOCTOR: Well, splendid! Hee! Hee! Splendid! DODO: Oh, let's go now. It must have just been the Refusian influence after all. STEVEN: (Carefully examining his surroundings.) What's this extraordinary place? DOCTOR: (Shaking his head.) Well, I'm not quite sure, dear boy, but it's, ah, it's somewhat familiar...hmm? DODO: It looks dead boring to me. C'mon! (DODO turns toward the TARDIS.) DOCTOR: No, wait, child, wait! DODO: Why? DOCTOR: Well, I don't think it was the Refusian's influence that made me become intangible - no! It think it was something here. And I don't like the feel of the place anymore than you do. But, uh, we have to face up to it. You know, I think I was meant to come here. (STEVEN's eyes are now fixed on one of the walls. He sees himself in a past experience.) STEVEN: (With great surprise.) Hey! Look! That's me! DODO: What is? STEVEN: Here - on the screen! DODO: What screen? (Only STEVEN is able to see the screen.) STEVEN: (Excitedly.) Here! That's me on the planet Kemble. DODO: There's nothing there! DOCTOR: But I believe I now know where we are. STEVEN: It's changed again! There I am in Paris! DOCTOR: (Emphatically.) Now turn around this instant! Turn away from it, dear boy! We're now in the world of The Ce... Ce... Ce... Celestial Toymaker! And that screen is hypnotic. It's trying to dominate your mind. STEVEN: (Confused.) But Doctor... DOCTOR: There is nothing there. You understand me? There is nothing there at all. You must believe me. STEVEN: What was it? What happened? DODO: What's the matter, Doctor? I couldn't see anything on the screen. DOCTOR: Come here, child. Now whatever you do, you must not allow yourself to be trapped into looking at it. DODO: Who's the Celestial Toymaker? DOCTOR: He's a powerful evil. He manipulates people and makes them into his playthings. Whatever you do, neither of you must look at that screen. It's a trap. (With evil laughter, the CELESTIAL TOYMAKER materialises before them.) CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: What a spoil-sport you are, Doctor. They like my memory window. DOCTOR: You! I might have guessed! CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: Of course! I've been waiting for you a long time. (The CELESTIAL TOYMAKER smiles a wry smile.) DODO: Where's the TARDIS? (The TARDIS has disappeared. The CELESTIAL TOYMAKER is standing in its place.) CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: (Innocently.) Don't worry, my dear. Just watch... over there. (He points over to the wall. DODO sees her younger self dressed in her British school uniform. She is home in her living room. A man approaches her, shaking his head. DODO is overcome with emotion.) DODO: It's me the day my mother died! DOCTOR: Turn away from it this instant! STEVEN: (Simultaneously whispering to DODO.) ... (STEVEN, seeing that DODO is unable to tear herself away from the screen, turns her around. The images on the wall disappear. DODO buries her face in STEVEN's shoulder.) CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: What a shame! I thought my little invention would amuse you. DOCTOR: You and your inventions, huh! Now, both of you, be very careful. This place is a hidden menace. Nothing is just for fun. STEVEN: (To the DOCTOR.) What's the idea? DOCTOR: He's trying to get us into his power - that's why we've got to fight him. (DODO looks up and pushes away from STEVEN.) DODO: (With fear.) But can't we just go? I hate this place. DOCTOR: My dear, but how? Hmm? That is the question. Hmm? DODO: In the TARDIS, of course, as always. CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: There are many of them. Take your choice. (The CELESTIAL TOYMAKER slowly stretches out his arm. The DOCTOR, STEVEN, and DODO watch as the ring on his finger begins to pulsate and circles of light begin moving toward the wall. The wall changes colour and vibrates. Slowly the light resolves into a picture of an endless conveyor of police boxes.) STEVEN: (Shaking his head.) But... there are hundreds of them! CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: Yes, hundreds. Come, Doctor. DOCTOR: No! (STEVEN and DODO tear their eyes away from the wall and look back. The DOCTOR and the CELESTIAL TOYMAKER disappear. Now STEVEN and DODO are alone in THE TOYMAKER's room. Having lost both the TARDIS and the DOCTOR, they are filled with dread.) STEVEN: Doctor! DODO: Have you gone invisible again? (There is silence.) STEVEN: (Shaking his head.) No, he's gone. That man's taken him away! DODO: I don't like it! We should never have stayed. STEVEN: Yes, it's too late now. DODO: Who was that man? STEVEN: (Shaking his head.) I don't know. But we've got to find the Doctor. (STEVEN looks around the room to see if any of the walls are illuminated again with images, but none of them are. He then points to the cupboard, and he and DODO move toward it. Just as STEVEN is about to open it, the door flings open and a clown's head appears around the corner - the male clown. Further down appears the female clown. They step out of the cupboard and look around, miming wonderment and anxiety.) STEVEN: What on Earth????? (The clowns immediately stop and put their fingers to their mouths.) DODO: Shhh! Shhh! Steven! STEVEN: But why have I got to be quiet? Huh? Huh? (The male clown extends his hand toward STEVEN. DODO, irritated at STEVEN's tough-guy attitude, moves away from him. The female clown puts her finger to her lips and brings a hand from behind her back revealing a large balloon and a hat pin. All this is unseen by STEVEN who is looking suspiciously at the male clown's outstretched hand. Finally STEVEN accepts the hand of the clown. As he shakes it, the clown backs away leaving his hand in STEVEN's. It comes away and reveals a stretched three or four foot long false arm. STEVEN throws it down it disgust. At the same time, the female clown pops the balloon behind him. The male clown gives STEVEN a slight push, and he jumps back nervously, falling over the female clown. STEVEN's facial expression proves to be too much for DODO. DODO laughs hysterically. The two clowns mime convulsive laughter.) STEVEN: (With disgust.) Very funny! Don't see what you've got to laugh about. DODO: If you could only see your face with that hand! (The male clown taps DODO on the shoulder holding a large bunch of flowers. He raises them to his nose and mimes smelling the fresh scent of flowers. He makes an elaborate bow and slowly presents the bouquet to her. DODO's eyes widen.) DODO: For me? (The male clown nods his head "yes" and honks his horn once. DODO then looks over at his companion who also nods "yes" and gives her a curtsey.) DODO: Oh thanks! No one's ever given me flowers before. (DODO stretches out her hand to accept the flowers. As she grasps the stalks, a strong jet of water springs out into her face and hair, saturating her. DODO steps back and drops the flowers. STEVEN roars with laughter.) STEVEN: If you could just see your face! (DODO retrieves a handkerchief from her pocket and wipes her face. The two clowns, meanwhile, mimic silent laughter.) DODO: I'm not sure that I like these clowns! STEVEN: (Still laughing.) Look, can either of you talk? (The male clown honks his horn again.) STEVEN: (To the female clown.) Well, how 'bout you? FEMALE CLOWN: (In a squeaky voice.) Yes, I can talk. How are you? STEVEN: (Still laughing.) I'm fine. But what do you want with us? (The CELESTIAL TOYMAKER is suddenly directly behind STEVEN and DODO. They are taken aback by his voice.) CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: They're here to entertain you. Play a game with you. STEVEN: (Dryly.) Well, thank you very much. We've been entertained. We don't want to play your games. Now where have you taken the Doctor? CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: (Innocently.) Taken the Doctor? Nowhere, my dear chap. The Doctor and I are going to play a little game together. (The CELESTIAL TOYMAKER turns to one of the walls and suddenly a robot appears. Once again he raises his hand, and the robot moves toward them. It has arms and legs, is black in colour, featureless, and has flashing lights for eyes. In place of a chest unit is a large monitor screen.) CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: You can watch the results on that board. But you must win all your games before he does. STEVEN: Look, we're not interested in your games. We want to go back to the TARDIS. CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: That's impossible. STEVEN: (Stunned.) Impossible?? CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: Well... not quite impossible, but you'll have to win a few games first. After each game, if you win, you will find a TARDIS, which may or may not be the real one. STEVEN: What do you mean "the real one"? CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: As you - as you have seen, I have many copies. DODO: So we have to win a game before we can get to the TARDIS? CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: Right! Several games, in fact. STEVEN: And if we lose? CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: (Smiling with arms folded.) Then you both stay here... as my guests. (DODO and STEVEN step aside to talk.) DODO: We better play his silly game, Steven. STEVEN: (Angrily.) I don't see why we should humour him. He's obviously around the bend! DODO: That's just it! If we don't do as he says, we may never get out of here. CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: Well? (DODO and STEVEN walk back toward THE TOYMAKER.) STEVEN: Alright! We'll play your little games. But if we win, we get the TARDIS back, okay? CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: Agreed. STEVEN: And if we lose? CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: You'll never see the TARDIS again! STEVEN: Wait! (The CELESTIAL TOYMAKER slowly vanishes.) DODO: (Grasping STEVEN's arm.) You never asked him about the Doctor. STEVEN: Oh, he's probably got his game to play. I'm glad we're not playing that one. (Meanwhile, the two clowns were busy setting up a series of obstacles around the room. It is only now that STEVEN and DODO notice. The room resembles a cross between a gymnasium and an army training obstacle course. There are two ropes slung over a number of sharp pointed iron spikes. A series of stepping stones are placed on something that looks like a carpet. A long, thin plank is mounted over two sets of step ladders. A long, caterpillar-like tub snakes across the room and ends at a square marked "Home". The floor itself seems to have taken on the aspect of a large playing board.) DODO: What are we playing? FEMALE CLOWN: Blind Man's Bluff! [SCENE_BREAK] 7. THE CELESTIAL TOYMAKER'S PRIVATE STUDY (The DOCTOR examines the collection of hi-tech toys that are suspended from the end of the room. All are deadly weapons of destruction. There is a model of an advanced missile complete with a deadly warhead. It is made to scale with exact measurements. Next to it is a long gleaming black hull of a nuclear submarine. Above it is a supersonic bomber with a thin, elegant, dart shape. Both men are standing.) DOCTOR: You will kindly cease this practical joking, and let us go at once, hmm? (The CELESTIAL TOYMAKER walks over to his desk, sits down, leans back, and places his fingertips together.) CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: (Wryly.) Patience, Doctor, patience. You've only just got here. Relax. It's so nice to see you again. (The DOCTOR walks over to the desk.) DOCTOR: (Humorously.) And now you have, so let us go. CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: You're so innocent, Doctor. The last time you were here, I hoped you'd stay long enough for a game, but you had hardly time to turn around. DOCTOR: And very wise I was, too, hmmm? You and your games are quite notorious. You draw people here like a spider does to flies. CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: How absurd! It amuses me to give amusements. DOCTOR: And should they lose the game they play, you condemn them to become your toy forever, hmm? CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: That is one of my rules, certainly. But if they win, they're perfectly free to go. DOCTOR: And if I refuse? CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: Then you lose by default. Is that what you choose? DOCTOR: No, I do not. I should never have left the TARDIS. CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: You're so insatiably curious. That's why I insured that the scanner would be blank. I knew that would bring you out. DOCTOR: Another one of your conjuring tricks, hmm? Hmm! Hmm! What game is it you want me to play? (The CELESTIAL TOYMAKER smiles. He rises up and gestures the DOCTOR toward the table on which stood the trilogic game. He waves his hand and the three piles resolve into one big pyramid. Each segment of the pyramid from top to bottom is numbered.) CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: This! DOCTOR: The trilogic game? CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: The trilogic game. A game for the mind, Doctor, the developed mind. Difficult for the practiced mind. Dangerous for the mind that has become old, lazy, or weak. DOCTOR: You infer that my mind is getting weak and old? CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: We shall see. Perhaps it is merely lazy. DOCTOR: (Insulted.) How dare you! CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: So you still think that you can pit your mind against mine? DOCTOR: Of course I can! CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: Good. I hope that the time you have spent dabbling in your researches 'round the universe hasn't dulled you. I need you. DOCTOR: You need me? CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: Yes. I'm bored. I love to play games, but there's no one to play against. The beings who call here have no minds and so they become my toys, hmm! But you will become my perpetual opponent. We shall play endless games together - your brain against mine. DOCTOR: As you said, if I win the game, uh, I can go. CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: So you can, Doctor, so you can. But I think you will lose. Can you remember how to play? DOCTOR: I am only allowed to move one piece at a time. CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: That is right. And you must rearrange them in the same order that they are now on point C. DOCTOR: And, uh, I am not permitted to put a larger piece on a small piece? CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: (Moving about the room.) Correct. And you have 1,023 moves to do it in. That is the exact amount. If you make one mistake, you lose. And to help you count, there! (The CELESTIAL TOYMAKER crosses back to his desk and pushes a lever on it. At the far side of the table is a tally recorder with two lines of figures.) CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: When the two rows of numbers match, the game is over. DOCTOR: (Chuckling.) Hmm! Hmm! I see. Can I begin? CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: Don't be so impatient, Doctor. There! (The CELESTIAL TOYMAKER touches another button on his desk and waves his hand at a large ornate mirror hanging along with the other objects behind his desk. The mirror turns cloudy and then gradually clears into a picture of STEVEN and DODO with the clowns in the other room.) CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: We mustn't forget them. DOCTOR: (Worriedly.) You are not asking them to play this game? CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: Good heavens, no! They are on the competitive quest. DOCTOR: Competitive? And, eh, who are the others? CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: (Pointing to the screen.) Two clown friends of mine. They are the home team. They will play against your friends and win the quest. DOCTOR: Quest? What quest? (The CELESTIAL TOYMAKER waves his hand at the screen again before answering. Again the picture blurred but quickly cleared to display the TARDIS.) CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: The hunt for the TARDIS! Win the games, and you get it back! [SCENE_BREAK] 8. INSIDE THE TOY ROOM (STEVEN and DODO are with the two clowns preparing to play THE TOYMAKER's first game.) DODO: (To STEVEN, while both look over the obstacle course in the toy room.) It's rather like a Snakes and Ladders set I used to have. STEVEN: Look's crazy to me! DODO: Oh, go on, have a go. It looks fun. (The female clown overhears DODO and STEVEN's conversation and beckons DODO toward a glass booth standing in a corner of the room.) STEVEN: What? Me on that?? Not on your life! DODO: But this is the game we have to play, right? FEMALE CLOWN: (Nodding.) This is your game. STEVEN: (Indignantly.) Right, then you play it. FEMALE CLOWN: Oh no! You must play it. It's all quite simple. You start there. (She points toward the starting area.) FEMALE CLOWN: Blindfold! STEVEN: (Shocked.) You must be joking! Kids' game! DODO: (Angrily.) Steven! (To the clown.) Go on. FEMALE CLOWN: You have to cross these obstacles without falling down. And if you get home without falling down, you win the game. STEVEN: (Pointing to the male clown.) And what's... oh' What's-His-Name there going to be doing all this time? FEMALE CLOWN: His name is Joey. I'm Clara. He will play it, too, of course. STEVEN: And if he loses? (CLARA does not respond.) STEVEN: No answer that time. And what happens if we both manage it? CLARA: Then we play it again. Until someone loses. STEVEN: (With disgust.) Oh it's a great future the Toymaker's got mapped out for us. (To JOEY.) Alright, chum, you want to show me how it's done? (JOEY nods his head, beeps a little horn carried on his waist, and rings a little bell.) STEVEN: That means "Yes", I suppose. (JOEY honks his horn loudly. CLARA ties a blindfold over JOEY's eyes.) CLARA: (To DODO and STEVEN.) You must come with me. (CLARA takes DODO and STEVEN into the glass booth and shuts the door.) CLARA: This is where we control them. One buzz for right turn, two for left, three to stop, four to start. (CLARA presses the buzzer four times. JOEY begins taking on the obstacle course. He does very well as CLARA sounds the buzzer to guide his every step.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9. THE CELESTIAL TOYMAKER'S PRIVATE STUDY (The DOCTOR is watching DODO and STEVEN intently on the monitor. He quickly walks over to THE TOYMAKER's desk and presses the intercom button. THE TOYMAKER is not in the room.) DOCTOR: Dodo! Steven! This is the Doctor. The game you're going to play is not so innocent as it looks. Be on your guard! (The DOCTOR is seen and heard through the robot's monitor.) DOCTOR: If you lose this game, we shall be here forever! So watch out for... (THE TOYMAKER suddenly materialises by the desk.) CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: That was unwise of you, Doctor. DOCTOR: I must warn them. CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: Attend to your own game. (To the game pieces in a high-pitched voice.) Go for a move - 152! (The pieces on the trilogic board move by themselves. The counter number rises from 110 to 152.) CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: Keep playing, Doctor. And to stop you interfering, I shall have to dematerialize you again. (He snaps his fingers.) CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: There! (The DOCTOR becomes invisible once again.) DOCTOR: You are overreaching yourself, Toymaker. How can I play this game? CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: (Wryly.) Let's see. Suppose we leave you one hand. (THE TOYMAKER makes the DOCTOR's hand with his fancy ring materialise.) CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: There. I suggest you resume the game. (The DOCTOR resumes playing the game.) CELESTIAL TOYMAKER: I thought you'd see it my way, Doctor. [SCENE_BREAK] 10. INSIDE THE TOY ROOM (JOEY reaches the end of the tube, and as he crawls out, he feels the end of the square marked "Home" and stands up. He raises his hand, whips off his blindfold, and clasps his hands in the air in a gesture of victory.) CLARA: (Happily.) We won! We won! STEVEN: Just a minute. I haven't had a go yet. DODO: But the Doctor warned us... STEVEN: It's alright, I can manage it. (Carefully looking over the course.) Rope, five stones, steps, plank, tube. Now I can do it if you can guide me. After all, he can do it. And you remember the directions? DODO: Right, one buzz; left, two buzzes; four to start; and three to stop. (She illustrates her words by giving a demonstration with the buttons as she talks. STEVEN exits the booth and walks out onto the floor. CLARA follows him and ties the blindfold around his eyes.) CLARA: (To STEVEN.) Can you see? STEVEN: Not a thing. (STEVEN feels around for the end of the rope and grasps it.) STEVEN: Right. I'm ready. (CLARA goes back to the booth and closes the door.) CLARA: Ready now. (CLARA turns to DODO who presses the buzzer four times to begin. STEVEN grasps the rope, tests it with both arms, and prepares to swing. DODO, to her horror, observes JOEY pretending to make sure that the first stepping stone was safe. He moves it about one foot to the right.) DODO: Look what he's doing! Cheat! You cheat! Steven, look out! CLARA: He can't hear you! (She starts to laugh. DODO runs to the door of the booth and tries to open it. It won't open.) CLARA: The door's self-locking! (DODO looks around desperately and runs back to the control panel where she buzzes three times. Out on the floor, STEVEN, just about to swing across, almost overbalances as he hears the buzzes.) STEVEN: Dodo, be careful! You nearly made me fall that time. (STEVEN cannot hear a response from DODO. He grasps the rope again and launches off to swing across the sharp spikes. Lowering his feet on the other side where he expects to find the stone, he finds nothing. He swings back again. He lowers his feet to safety at the starting point and lets out a sigh of frustration.) STEVEN: (Angrily.) What have you done now, you clown, you? (For an answer, JOEY honks. Now DODO buzzes once.) STEVEN: One right. One right? (STEVEN grasps the rope, flexes his muscles, pulls himself up, and swings again in a large arc right across the waiting pinnacle of steel below. This time STEVEN swings more to the right. After extending a leg, he finds the edge of the stepping-stone. He lands on it a bit unsteadily.) STEVEN: Whew!! That was close. (JOEY honks again.) STEVEN: Yes, you'll honk when I get this blindfold off. Now I moved another. I moved the first to the right and then to the left. (STEVEN now stretches his leg out again, feeling for the next stepping-stone. Once again JOEY, nonchalantly, kicks another stepping-stone out of the way. STEVEN thinks the stone is to the left. DODO assists him by sounding the buzzer three times.) STEVEN: Now what now?? (Now DODO buzzes just once.) STEVEN: To the right? (JOEY honks again.) STEVEN: You wait! (STEVEN extends his foot but can't find the stone. He tries again, almost overbalancing himself. DODO sounds the buzzer twice. Finally he finds the step. DODO, once again, sounds the buzzer once. STEVEN repeats a step to the right DODO again sounds the buzzer once. He feels for the steps leading up the plank, finds them, and sits down on the lower step, wiping his brow.) DODO: (Furiously.) I don't see how he has a chance of winning if you cheat all the time. CLARA: (Innocently.) Cheat? Oh no. It's just a few variations. They make it more fun. (She laughs. STEVEN reaches the top of the steps, and stretching forth a leg cautiously, feels for the plank. He tests it carefully feeling it give under his weight. Then bringing his other foot up starts to edge along it toward the other end. As he inches forward leaving the safety of the first set of steps, he begins to regain his old confidence. He steps out a bit more vigorously. Then DODO sounds the buzzer once. STEVEN sways to and fro, desperately fighting for his balance. Gradually he rights himself.) STEVEN: What was that? (JOEY honks again.) STEVEN: (Angrily.) You again! I warn you! (JOEY honks once more. STEVEN sways again, nearly falling off the plank. He swings his arms to and fro to keep his balance.) STEVEN: (With frustration.) Games with clowns! (STEVEN reaches the end of the ladder, and DODO, watching through the glass booth, sees JOEY comically mime his anxiety not to get squished in case STEVEN falls off the ladder. STEVEN jumps onto the top step, turns around, and walks quickly down to the bottom. DODO signals to STEVEN sounding the buzzer three times and then twice. STEVEN then makes his way for the tube.) DODO: (Angrily.) How is he supposed to squeeze through that tube? CLARA: Joey did. DODO: But suppose he gets stuck half way - what then? (CLARA just laughs. STEVEN tries to get his broad shoulders into the tube. After several attempts he decides to go back though on his back. Then JOEY seizes one end of the tube and drags it around into a large U so that STEVEN comes out at the same place where he began.) DODO: Look what he's done! It's not fair! (CLARA laughs hysterically. DODO sounds the buzzer three times.) CLARA: (Still laughing.) He goes back to the start! DODO: And you think that's fair??!! (DODO seizes CLARA by the front of her costume and shakes her. CLARA immediately becomes limp just as a rag doll.) DODO: (Furiously.) Let me out of here!! OPEN THE DOOR!!! (CLARA still laughs hysterically.) CLARA: I can't! DODO: (With tears in her voice.) Oh, you're just like a doll! A rag doll! (CLARA is beside herself with laughter.) DODO: I don't think this funny at all! (Meanwhile, STEVEN pulls himself out of the other end of the tube. He straightens up and feels for the home square as he had seen JOEY do. Instead, his hands encounter the step ladder.) STEVEN: Oh no! Look I warned you! (STEVEN tears off his blindfold and examines the tube. It has been bent almost entirely back along its length like a horseshoe. STEVEN realizes that he's been wasting his time and effort. He is positively livid. He turns to JOEY, who begins backing away. At the same moment, CLARA bursts from the booth followed by DODO.) CLARA: (Still laughing.) We won! (JOEY begins jumping up and down and making every possible noise with all his bells and horns.) DODO: Oh Steven! Steven completed the course! CLARA: We won! We won! Now you'll never find the TARDIS! STEVEN: (Lividly.) Well, it's a draw! Now let's do it again - this time with him in the booth! CLARA: (Holding up JOEY's hand.) The winnah! (DODO looks around the room. She sees JOEY's discarded blindfold from the home square and picks it up. It is transparent.) DODO: Steven, look at this! You can see right through it. It's not a real blindfold at all! (There is dead silence. The clowns back away, looking crestfallen. STEVEN holds up his blindfold and compares it to JOEY's. He then turns to him.) STEVEN: No wonder you were able to run 'round the course so easily. And now we'll try it again! Only this time with a real blindfold. (JOEY backs away, definitely not in a joking mood anymore. The Toy room itself begins to get darker. JOEY turns away.) STEVEN: Not so fast! (To DODO.) Here - put that on him. (DODO puts the blindfold on JOEY. CLARA watches silently.) STEVEN: (To CLARA.) You better go in the booth to guide him. (CLARA goes into the glass booth and shuts the door.) STEVEN: (With satisfaction.) Right! Now we'll play The Toymaker's little game fairly! C'mon Dodo, start him off. (DODO leads JOEY to the starting point. DODO waves to CLARA in the booth so she sounds the buzzer four times for JOEY to begin.) DODO: (Clutching STEVEN's arm.) Steven I'm frightened. (CLARA sounds the buzzer twice.) DODO: You notice he's not funny anymore. (JOEY swings across and lands on the first stepping stone. Step-by-step he makes his way across the stones to the foot of the step ladder. CLARA guides JOEY around using the buzzer. She sounds the buzzer once and then again. JOEY climbs to the top of the steps and sets his foot, a bit uncertainly, on the first plank. Now he shuffles like an old man. Suddenly the plank sways violently. JOEY holds up his hands in terror as if he were going to fall.) DODO: (With fear.) Steven you better stop him. He'll fall. STEVEN: We can't stop him. It's him or us. (Yelling to JOEY.) Go on! You can't stop now! (JOEY steadies himself and commences moving across the plank. His steps get slower and slower. Suddenly, JOEY sways on the plank and then crashes to the floor. At the same moment, the buzzer in the booth starts buzzing continuously. STEVEN and DODO look at the booth and see that CLARA has fallen forward, slumped over the control button. Abruptly the lights dim and go out. At the far end of the room, one of the walls lights up and there appears a police box. They move across the room with caution. They examine the it only to discover that it is a fake.) DODO: (With disbelief.) It can't be empty! STEVEN: (With disgust.) It is. (Brief pause.) Look. (Just the square outline of an empty police telephone box is inside.) DODO: What's that? (DODO bends down and picks up a piece of paper from the floor and reads it.) DODO: "Four legs, no feet, of arms no lack, it carries no burden on its back. Six deadly sisters, seven for choice, call the servants without voice." What does it mean? STEVEN: A riddle. Look, here's a way out. (The back of the police box swings open.) DODO: Perhaps this is to tell us where the TARDIS is. STEVEN: (Shrugging.) Or perhaps it's just another game. Anyway, we've got to find out. (STEVEN goes through the opening. DODO remains behind and looks back at the two clowns. All she sees are two small twisted clown figures, now the size of dolls. Shocked, she turns and runs quickly after STEVEN.)

Missing episode The travellers arrive in a strange domain presided over by the Celestial Toymaker - an enigmatic, immortal entity who forces them to play a series of games, failure at which will render them his playthings for all eternity.

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Narrator: The Carltons are in Boston, Massachusetts, the birthplace of the American Revolution. Boston is known as the most historical city in the United States. So, Poppy and Georgie have come to meet Professor Bob Allison, author and expert in revolutionary history, to find out more about the American patriot and activist, Paul Revere. Bob: Revere got news that the British Army in Boston was going to march west to the town of Concord to seize the weapons and ammunition that the Colonists were stockpiling there. Georgie: Marvelous. Poppy: That makes sense. Yeah. Bob: Revere rode on his horse then, bringing this message to the patriots. He would not have said, "The British are coming," because revere was also British. So, if he was British, why was he telling... Why was he sneak... He was being quite sneaky and telling on us. Like a snitch. A little bit of a snitch. He was not a snitch. He was a very alert member of the community. But he was telling on his friends. He was. And that doesn't go down very well in Britain, I have to say. I once told on my friend at boarding school. Really? He had mucky magazines in his dorm room. And no one would talk to me. I was blackballed. Yeah, if you're a dirty snitch you will get punished in England. Well, in this case, the government here was taking away what the Colonists considered to be their rights as Englishmen. We thought we should be able to make our own rules. I try to make my own rules all the time, though, and that... It never works. If I made my own rules, I'd just eat sort of cereal all day. Georgie really likes Sugar Puffs. Bob: Really? Sugar Puffs. Bob: Well, Sugar Puffs are quite good. You can't eat them all day, they make your wee smell funny. No, that's certainly one of the many drawbacks to eating too many Sugar Puffs. The statue was put here in the 1930s as Americans love Paul Revere. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow in 1860 wrote a poem that became famous here. "Listen, my children, and you shall hear of the midnight ride of Paul Revere, was the 18th of April in '75..." Oh, is that the poem? That's the poem, and it concludes with... Our father did a v... Uh, poem, um. Really? At dinner, about a lady from Nantucket. Uh... When we were at school you were allowed... If you were writing poems, you were allowed to do them rhyming when you're young. Yeah. But when you get older and cleverer, you don't rhyme, 'cause it's easy. But how do you tell the difference between poetry and prose if it doesn't rhyme? On the front of the book it will always tell you what it is. Yeah. Now, with... What happened immediately after this? 'cause I know from experience that if my horse has that front leg up, it's about to go to the toilet. Yes. Well, I don't know. The sculptor didn't capture that particular part of it. How long was Paul Revere sat on the horse, Bob? Well, he left at around 10:00 p.m... Yes. ...and it was probably around 2:00 a.m. when he got out to concord. I'm sure they don't talk about this, but if I'm on a horse for any length of time, I get quite a lot of chafing down there. I would imagine, yes. He would have looked like a red cauliflower by 2:00 a.m. Bob: So, what have you learned? Lots, but I've forgotten a little bit as well. That happens, yes. Yeah. I didn't know there was going to be a test. I feel like I've learned more about the horse. That's good, that's good. Yeah. Well, it's been a pleasure meeting you, Poppy. Thank you so much. Enjoy the rest of your visit to our country. Thank you. Thank you very much, Bob. Lovely to meet you. Very nice to meet you. The British are leaving. (POPPY LAUGHS) Good bye. Thank you. Georgie: What a lot of information is in that Bob chappy's head! He's like a school covered in skin. A book with hair. Narrator: Continuing their historical journey, the Carltons are visiting a local branch of the Tea Party Organization to meet Catherine White... Hello! Lovely to meet you. ...an expert in the U.S. constitution. Come this way. Poppy: Thank you. All right! Georgie: Marvelous. Georgie is also a guest speaker. Georgie: Hello, everyone. Man: How do you do? Hi, Georgie carlton, lovely to meet you. Oh, we're standing up, standing up. (PEOPLE SAYING THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE) (MOUTHING) First up we have Catherine White. Catherine, you have the microphone, thank you. Catherine: All right. Hello! I am so happy to be back home in Worcester tonight. So, let's start with words that when they were first written were both treason and heresy. "We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal." So, why was this treason? Well, only the king had rights, and he granted privileges to his inferiors. The only purpose of our constitutional government is to protect our individual rights. If all rights are property rights, then the only purpose of the constitution is to protect. (APPLAUSE) Thank you, Catherine. Does anybody have any questions? Do you like, um, Barack Obama? He espouses and actively pursues an agenda that is seriously treasonous. He swore on the Bible to preserve, protect and defend the constitution of the United States from all enemies foreign and domestic. (CHEERING) So, that's a "no." Man: You have let the Communist control the congressional delegation. They're all communists. The next speaker is george carlton, uh, from the United Kingdom, here with Poppy. Please give him a welcome. Thank you. Thank you. I'd like to talk to you all tonight about some key issues that affect people, Not only in the UK but worldwide, too. On the 18th February, 2005, hunting was banned in the UK, the United Kingdom, aka England. Cricket often acts as a metaphor for many things in the UK, hunting, for example. The Caunty Cup exhibition match was played in the summer of 2003. We had our starting eleven who were, Duffy Scruton, my best friend, Hugo Frogsworth, Sniffy Minting, Archie Froggart, Percy Thomas, Pork Roberts, Hugh Donnington-Smyth, Ken Wang, Herewood Cooper-Jones, Georgie carlton, that's me, hello, and Wally Thomas. ...was cucumber sandwiches, scones with fluffy cream and jams, or jellies, as you might call them. We also had fondant fancies, Victoria sponge, and beef. ...I had to describe what a particular type of cheese was to a chap at a party, who had heard of other types of cheese but not that particular type of cheese. It goes without saying that I avoid talking about cheese as much as I can now. So to summarize, it's not about winning, it's about how long you take, the friends you play with, and the tea you have afterwards. And that's why hunting and the hunting ban is a lot like cricket. Thank you. (ONE PERSON APPLAUDS) Well, we sat there for what seemed like about 990 hours, and not one bit of tea was ever produced. I'm absolutely spitting feathers. If I threw a tea party, just sat around talking about politics, I'd be laughed out of town. It was unbelievable. What's your favorite bit of the constitution? (PEOPLE CHATTERING) My favorite bit of the constitution? My favorite bit of Harry Potter, it's quite sad, is when Hedwig dies. The constitution is not a story. It is the law of the land. So... You don't have... There are no highlights? Uh, the preamble. Establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and to... Is there anything you would like us to say when we get back to the UK about the tea party? Tell them that we still seek to uphold the principles of liberty upon which this country was founded. Okay. I've forgotten that already. Woman: I hope you're enjoying yourself. Poppy: Thank you. Yes, very much. Man: Did you learn anything? I know that if you get a lot of people who are that old in a room... It starts to whiff a little. Yeah. Narrator: As part of their royal tour of America, Poppy and Georgie Carlton are visiting Massachusetts. They have already had a history lesson on the streets of Boston and attended an American tea party. Uh, Poppy, I can hear a funny noise coming from the tire. There's definitely something wrong. Sorry, we are going to have to stop here. I've seen people do this. Man: Have you ever changed a tire before? I didn't know you could change them. I... would normally just sort of get a new car. Excuse me. Man: Yes, sir? Georgie: Do you know about tires? Man: I do, and that one's flat. You got to change it. Do you know how to do that? Do you know what this is? What are you doing, Rob? (ROB CHUCKLES) We've got to get this tire down. Georgie: Do you need a hand? I'm more of a sort of moral support person. (ROB CHUCKLES) Poppy: I'm helping from over here. Georgie: How long does it take to jack-off? Rob: Jack-up. Georgie: Jack-up. Rob: Yeah. Now, what I want you to do is sort of just spin this. Georgie: Here we go! Oh, my goodness! I've cut my finger. It's bleeding. Nanny would just pop it in her mouth. No pressure. How many more Georgie wipes have you got? Poppy: So, why did you move here? They hired me up in Boston to come teach down here. Fell in love with the kids down here. That's not allowed in England. What, loving the kids? The teacher to fall in love with the kids. Really? It happens but it's illegal. Yeah, well, it's not that kind, you know, it's just... Okay. They're good kids. Yeah. Okay. You know? Yeah, that's illegal here, too. Oh, really? It is, yeah. Our father said it's not illegal in Japan. Georgie and Poppy: Yay! You're so good! Rob: Can you do it? Georgie: Yeah. Three, two, one. Okay! Georgie: Right, here we go, Poppy. Yeah. Let's get out of here. Thank you very much. Narrator: Taking a break from history, Poppy and Georgie are participating in an informal baseball match known as a pick-up game, where they will meet local people and learn about the sport. So, we are here to play a game that they go absolutely mad for here in Boston, called baseball. It's sort of one of their hobbies. Baseball. It's one of their hobbies amongst starting fights in bars, that sort of thing. Baseball. Georgie: Hello! Man: Hey! The British are coming, and they're looking for a man called Derek. Do you need a glove? Do I need... Is that a good thing to have? Poppy: Why is everyone only wearing one? Doesn't your other hand get cold? (LAUGHS) Well... Did you just spit? I did, sorry, I had some tobacco. Is that allowed? It's allowed. Absolutely. It's part of the tradition of the game. In cricket we might have a pipe, but that's only halfway through. Okay, I mean, this is more social on our side, we'll give each other a hard time. What do you mean? Like, trash-talk, is the best way to put it. Like, "highballs are for drinking," "thank you for the gumball, Mickey." Georgie: In cricket maybe after the tea we might say, "That cake your mother prepared wasn't particularly moist." Man: Derek, why don't you bring the guys in and introduce the guys to... Hey, boys, bring it in for a minute just to introduce. Hello. Hello. Derek: So, we have J.P., I have Bobby, we call him our T. Austin, Johnny, Pete, Jonesy, Kyle and Lippy. That's his nickname. Georgie: Should I have a nickname for today, maybe? Derek: Georgie... You be the G Man. Man: Whitey. Poppy: "Whitey"? (ALL LAUGH) Derek: This is his cricket gear! This is his cricket gear though. Georgie: We're all white. So, forward like that in one fluid motion. All right. In baseball, you bring your arms up. Bring your arms up instead. Okay. So, the pitch is going to come through at this level. And away. Do you say anything when you do it? No, no. Our father used to keep this sort of thing in the car just in case anyone came to wash the windscreen. Let's give it a crack. Derek: All right. See, my bat's not long enough to get that. Man: You've got to be a little quicker. Poppy: Georgie, you've got to hit the ball with the bat! Georgie: Thank you, Poppy! Poppy: Yay, Georgie! Man: foul ball! (MEN LAUGHING) Poppy: Go, Georgie! Georgie: Which way do I go? Oh, in cricket youdd run there and then back again. Man: You're supposed to run around the (BLEEP) diamond, you mook! Send him back! Georgie: Howzat! Poppy: One-nil! (LAUGHING) Georgie: Should we try some trash talk now? Derek: Absolutely! Tell 32 I just ripped your tits. Georgie: Excuse me, 32, I just ripped your tits! (ALL LAUGHING) Take a lead, there you go. Then... Oh. It's like that scene in Ghost, isn't it? You got it right there? Yeah. All right, now swing, extend your arms, and then go through. Derek: Here we go. Georgie: Hit it for six, Poppy! Man: come on, Coop. Swing as hard as you can. Poppy: This time will you throw it at the bat? Swing. Yay! Georgie: go, Poppy! Where's my handbag? Georgie: Poppy, run! Poppy: I did really well. This is how, um, people feel after the Olympics, They got... I'm still really happy, like I'm flying. Well, thanks very much for having us. Thanks so much. Georgie, thanks very much for coming, very nice to meet you. Poppy, very nice to meet you, Thanks for coming. Do we all put our hands in the middle or something? Players: Yes! Let's do it. One, two, three. Georgie: God save the Queen! Thank you so much for having us! (ALL LAUGH) Goodbye, thank you. Poppy: Thank you. Narrator: Poppy and Georgie have been getting their hands dirty in Boston. Georgie: How long does it take to jack-off? Rob: Jack-up. Narrator: They have met with a local good Samaritan and got to grips with the national game. Now, leaving the city behind, the siblings are in Philadelphia to visit a battle re-enactment and see history in action. Specifically, the siege of Fort Mifflin, a bloody skirmish fought between the British and Americans in 1777. Ah! Hello! Hello. Good morning. I'm Georgie Carlton. Georgie. Dan McMahon. Lovely to meet you. How do you do? I'm Poppy. Hello. Georgie Carlton. Lovely to meet you. Are you Scottish? Yes, yes. We're the 42nd Highlanders. What do you wear under the kilt? My shoes. My shoes. My hose. Oh, my gosh! We're regimental. I didn't want to know that. It's too early. My friend, Anthony McDonald is from a Scottish family. His grandfather is a true Scotsman. Uh... Nothing under the kilt and raging alcoholic. Man: Sergeant, gather the men for inspection. (SCOTTISH COMMANDS) Poppy: what language is that? Georgie: I don't know. This is Mr. McFlay. Georgie: Hello. Poppy: How do you do? Have you traveled far? Pardon? This is McGyver, Sr. Georgie: Ah! McGyver, Sr. Poppy: How do you do? Have you traveled far? Private McGregor. How do you do? Have you traveled far? I really like your fascinator. I wore that to a wedding a few years ago. Georgie: Plane! Come on, come on. Just walk across here. Okay. All right? This is how Nanny used to dress me. With a nappy? Yeah, just before university. This goes here. Ooh! Careful of the pen1s. There he is. Man: How do you feel? I feel absolutely marvelous. I feel like I'm really into the swing of it now. I feel Scottish. There's a gust of wind traveling right up to my mess and nethers. Poppy: Georgie, look at me. Oh, Poppy! Man: Look at that. Everyone, look at me. Georgie: You look lovely! Plane! (DRUM ROLL) Narrator: Keen to get into the spirit of things, Poppy helps Susan with preparations for lunch. So, just a quarter each? Yes, mm-hmm. And pop them in that pot? Yes, all together. And what wine would you serve with this? Like a Pinot Noir or something? Well, we wouldn't... We wouldn't... Officers would have things like port and sherry, and other than that... Any bubbly? Hmm? Nope. Nope, none of that. Bubbly? I might have a bit of cheese. It's like I've got my own show because I'm doing all the cooking and the camera's on me. And there's a smoke, too. Yeah. (SUSAN LAUGHING) And I've got sort of a corset on, and I can imagine Nigella would wear one. She's always trying to get everything out of it. I don't know what else to say, 'cause I don't know the cookery terms. Georgie: Is this your own cannon, Jay? It's my own cannon, yes. You brought it from home? Yes, I did. I put it in the doorway between my living room and dining room, pointing at the front door. (CHUCKLING) Oh, lovely. Want to shoot it again? Georgie: Yes. Okay Jay, we're traveling around America, uh, uh, because our father loved history. And we've got his ashes. Would it be possible to fire some ashes from a cannon? Uh... Yeah, we could do that. Georgie: That would be lovely if we could do that. Georgie: Oh, careful, Poppy. Sorry. He's eager to escape. (POPPY COUGHING) You okay, Poppy? Poppy: I've got some caught. Bit of father in the throat. (COUGHING) Thank you, that should be Enough, Jay, thank you. Whoa-hoa! Bye bye, Daddy! Very exciting, about to go into battle. I've got my gun. Georgie: Oh. Sorry, everyone. I'll be with you in a minute. Die, you American scum! Georgie: Oh! It didn't make... It didn't make a bang, Malcolm. It didn't make a bang, Malcolm. Fire! Yeah! That's better! Ha-ha! Eat lead, Yankee scum! Die! Say hello to the devil! Whah! Plane! Fire! Hooray! I'm taking the hill! I'm going to take the hill! (GUNFIRE CONTINUES) Georgie: Go, Georgie! (GUNFIRE CONTINUES) Yippee-ki-yay, mother (BLEEP)! (MACHINE GUN FIRE) (CLINK) (EXPLOSION) Well, Fort Mifflin went really well for me. I shot my first ever cookery show. Yes, and I shot a man in the face, uh, whilst I was wearing a skirt. Uh, father would have been disappointed and proud all at the same time. Plane! Narrator: Next time on Almost Royal... What the hell is going on? Narrator: Poppy and Georgie are in Texas. Go, Texas State! I feel like I've met my male match, and he is a cowboy man. This feels wonderful! On the other hand, I do have quite a sore arse. (THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Poppy and Georgie visit Boston to discover a little American history.