Datasets:

nbertagnolli

/

counsel-chat

like 30

My past is holding me back from my future. How can I get my life back?

There are issues from my past that have me very heavily burdened in my heart. I've been torn for so many years and I need help so I can move on with my life. I experienced trauma when I was 8 years old and I did come out about it until I was 40. Now I know this is what's holding me back on my happiness. I've met a very loving and caring man but because I'm holding on to these things from my past I’m pushing him away. How can I get my life back?

https://counselchat.com/questions/my-past-is-holding-me-back-from-my-future-how-can-i-get-my-life-back

trauma

Jennifer Jenkins-BoitnottEMDRIA Approved Consultant & Certified EMDR Therapist

https://counselchat.com/therapists/jennifer-jenkins-boitnott

I would recommend finding an EMDR therapist. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is an integrative psychotherapy approach that has been extensively researched and proven effective for the treatment of trauma. As an EMDR therapist can attest to the massive changes that using EMDR has had for many of the people I have worked with.

My past is holding me back from my future. How can I get my life back?

There are issues from my past that have me very heavily burdened in my heart. I've been torn for so many years and I need help so I can move on with my life. I experienced trauma when I was 8 years old and I did come out about it until I was 40. Now I know this is what's holding me back on my happiness. I've met a very loving and caring man but because I'm holding on to these things from my past I’m pushing him away. How can I get my life back?

https://counselchat.com/questions/my-past-is-holding-me-back-from-my-future-how-can-i-get-my-life-back

trauma

Michele RameyMRTherapy, LLC- Because Help Is One Of A Kind

https://counselchat.com/therapists/michele-ramey

Trauma=Trauma Therapy. It's time to stop avoiding what happened and work on it! Brainspotting or EMDR are two very powerful ways to treat Trauma, get into therapy and work on it. Another thing you can do is talk to your partner about it, if you're ready, and hopefully he is ready to love all of you. I would definitely do some Brainspotting and/or Bodyspotting to see where the trauma has been living all this time! Hope this helps!

My past is holding me back from my future. How can I get my life back?

There are issues from my past that have me very heavily burdened in my heart. I've been torn for so many years and I need help so I can move on with my life. I experienced trauma when I was 8 years old and I did come out about it until I was 40. Now I know this is what's holding me back on my happiness. I've met a very loving and caring man but because I'm holding on to these things from my past I’m pushing him away. How can I get my life back?

https://counselchat.com/questions/my-past-is-holding-me-back-from-my-future-how-can-i-get-my-life-back

trauma

Meira AlonChild, Trauma & Veteran Therapist

https://counselchat.com/therapists/meira-alon

You are so brave to come out and talk about your trauma! I hope it started helping you with your healing process. I think you have good instinct, often past especially past trauma can hold us back in areas we aren't even aware of since you have spent so much time trying to compensate and feel ok. It's important to continue to seek the right therapist to help you process your trauma, identify triggers and work through them. Once you start doing this hard work you will start to feel better, and it won't affect your life as much as it is today. If you are comfortable I would share what you can with your current partner, even if it's just to say that you have experienced trauma in your past. This way it will help your partner be more empathetic and understand that you are trying to work through it but it will take time.

My past is holding me back from my future. How can I get my life back?

There are issues from my past that have me very heavily burdened in my heart. I've been torn for so many years and I need help so I can move on with my life. I experienced trauma when I was 8 years old and I did come out about it until I was 40. Now I know this is what's holding me back on my happiness. I've met a very loving and caring man but because I'm holding on to these things from my past I’m pushing him away. How can I get my life back?

https://counselchat.com/questions/my-past-is-holding-me-back-from-my-future-how-can-i-get-my-life-back

trauma

Ashton SullivanDialectical Behavior Therapy and EMDR

https://counselchat.com/therapists/ashton-sullivan

I'm so sorry that you have been haunted by the past for so long.  It must have been incredibly difficult to open up about something so dark and vulnerable.  But by shedding light on it you have already taken the first step toward healing.  Trauma can wreak havoc on relationships if it isn't healed.  In fact, we are all reacting to things every day based on perceptions colored by our past experiences.  The good news is, you can heal by gaining an understanding of how trauma from the past is affecting you now, developing healthy coping skills, and working through those memories and emotions with a therapist.  This will require some "rewiring of the brain," meaning that you will identify the negative thought patterns and beliefs, and replace them with something more helpful.  For example, if your negative reaction feels like "I'm abandoned and alone," you might work on changing it to "I can get my needs met, and I'll be okay regardless." Or if you find yourself feeling like "I'm not worthy of love," you might change that to something like "I deserve to be loved."Most likely, the reason you're pushing this man away is because something about this relationship is triggering negative beliefs and emotions from the past, and your reaction (by pushing him away) protects you in some way even though there may not be any real danger now.  You probably know this logically, but trauma gets stuck in our emotional mind which you can't reason with!  That's why you have to work through the emotions to be able to see things more clearly from a new and more helpful perspective.  I like to think of emotions like clouds that block the sun and make it difficult to see anything clearly.  If we ignore and avoid the clouds all the time then we will spend our lives looking at the ground.  If you can learn to safely weather the storm,  you'll find that before long it will pass and you'll be able to see things clearly again.I recommend working with a therapist who is trained in treating trauma and who you feel comfortable with because they will be able to tailor treatment to your specific needs.  You can have the happy life and healthy relationship you desire and deserve!

My past is holding me back from my future. How can I get my life back?

There are issues from my past that have me very heavily burdened in my heart. I've been torn for so many years and I need help so I can move on with my life. I experienced trauma when I was 8 years old and I did come out about it until I was 40. Now I know this is what's holding me back on my happiness. I've met a very loving and caring man but because I'm holding on to these things from my past I’m pushing him away. How can I get my life back?

https://counselchat.com/questions/my-past-is-holding-me-back-from-my-future-how-can-i-get-my-life-back

trauma

Jessica Fealk, MA, LPCwww.dalycounseling.com (Michigan)

https://counselchat.com/therapists/jessica-fealk-ma-lpc

It may not feel like it, but you are in a great spot!  You know what is holding you back!  It sounds like you want to deal with your past and find healing, so you can move forward in freedom.  Trauma is life-altering and at any age, especially when we are young.  Meeting with a counselor who works from a trauma-informed perspective would probably be beneficial, as there can be so many layers to the effects of trauma. More good news: you have met a very loving and caring man! Since he is loving and caring, he most likely will want to support you in healing.  Honesty and vulnerability in safe spaces build intimacy; have you considered sharing with him what's behind your distancing behaviors?  You may have an ally in your healing just waiting to be allowed in.     You are headed in the right direction to get your life back considering therapy.

My past is holding me back from my future. How can I get my life back?

There are issues from my past that have me very heavily burdened in my heart. I've been torn for so many years and I need help so I can move on with my life. I experienced trauma when I was 8 years old and I did come out about it until I was 40. Now I know this is what's holding me back on my happiness. I've met a very loving and caring man but because I'm holding on to these things from my past I’m pushing him away. How can I get my life back?

https://counselchat.com/questions/my-past-is-holding-me-back-from-my-future-how-can-i-get-my-life-back

trauma

Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPCLicensed Professional Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/kaileen-mcmickle-ms-lpc

I'm going to second that it is completely brave of you to share something you kept hidden for over 30 years.  That's a HUGE deal!Something awesome about the brain is that it can learn at any time in the human lifespan.  No matter how long you have dealt with the affects of trauma, your brain has potential to rewire and change how it operates.  This is just my assumption, but it sounds like you are just realizing the impact the trauma has had and is continuing to have on your life.  First of all, that's phenomenal information--many people spend their lives blind to these influences and may never get help.  On the other hand, it can be super overwhelming to now have all this insight about yourself and not know how to deal with it.  It's OK to feel that uncertainty and/or stress about the process--that's totally expected and will most likely feel less powerful the more you move through healing.I understand your fears about pushing away someone you care about and that seems important to you.  That's quite a normal behavior as a result of childhood trauma.  When we are first learning our relationship to others and the world as children, trauma can teach us that others are unsafe or may hurt us.  Almost all my clients have experienced childhood trauma and one of the things we spend time exploring is what they may be trying to protect themselves from by pushing others away.  Vulnerability can be scary for everybody, but why specifically is it scary for you?  I bet there's a really logical reason!It's unclear how long you've known this man and how connected you feel to him, but could he potentially be a support person for you?  If you feel uncomfortable with that, that doesn't mean anything bad.  It just means you aren't ready.  It's not easy to talk about such hard things.  It does seem like you know that you behave in ways that push him away--what would your behavior look like if you didn't?  That doesn't mean sharing everything or no boundaries, but meeting him somewhere in the middle.  Sometimes the brain needs evidence that being vulnerable doesn't always equate to danger or rejection.As others have noted, a counselor can help if you so choose to go that route.  I can't say what your journey will look like, but I already have so much hope for you since you are obviously incredibly courageous and motivated to work to make your life better.  If 8 year old you can make it through trauma, then 40 year old you can definitely work through this!

My past is holding me back from my future. How can I get my life back?

There are issues from my past that have me very heavily burdened in my heart. I've been torn for so many years and I need help so I can move on with my life. I experienced trauma when I was 8 years old and I did come out about it until I was 40. Now I know this is what's holding me back on my happiness. I've met a very loving and caring man but because I'm holding on to these things from my past I’m pushing him away. How can I get my life back?

https://counselchat.com/questions/my-past-is-holding-me-back-from-my-future-how-can-i-get-my-life-back

trauma

Shelly Kessingerwww.friendswoodmarriagecounseling.com

https://counselchat.com/therapists/shelly-kessinger

You already are doing that! You are reaching out (virtually still counts!). You are accepting your past, you are not denying what happened to you, you are talking about the past. You are already doing a great job of starting this journey. You get your life back by doing things differently.I would think about how you would like to process your past. Do you want to talk to someone? Do you want to write about it? Do you want to pray about it? Do you want to read and research books about trauma? Take some time and think about what you want to do. Think about what would work for you and dive in. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, so I am biased - but I really believe that counseling works. Having an objective, professional voice that can guide you on this process is so valuable. But please choose what makes you feel comfortable - not what everyone else says. I think you are very brave for reaching out and wanting to work on this. That takes a tremendous amount of courage and strength.

My past is holding me back from my future. How can I get my life back?

There are issues from my past that have me very heavily burdened in my heart. I've been torn for so many years and I need help so I can move on with my life. I experienced trauma when I was 8 years old and I did come out about it until I was 40. Now I know this is what's holding me back on my happiness. I've met a very loving and caring man but because I'm holding on to these things from my past I’m pushing him away. How can I get my life back?

https://counselchat.com/questions/my-past-is-holding-me-back-from-my-future-how-can-i-get-my-life-back

trauma

Amy StandiferChristian Sex Therapist and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional

https://counselchat.com/therapists/amy-standifer

I'm so sorry you had that horrible experience! It's common for those who've experienced childhood trauma(s) to not disclose the events until later in life. Sometimes it doesn't feel safe enough to share the information until the person who hurt them is far away, or even dead.  Trusting and vulnerability are difficult, especially when we've been hurt. So, it's not uncommon for clients to share that their desire to be close to their loved one (emotionally, physically and/or sexually) doesn't match the reality of what they are able to actually experience.But, there is hope!You have met a loving and caring man, and you have a self-awareness that you did not experience before. I am confident that the help of a licensed professional counselor (preferably trained in trauma recovery) can help you navigate this healing journey and help you gain the tools needed for the life you want.

My past is holding me back from my future. How can I get my life back?

There are issues from my past that have me very heavily burdened in my heart. I've been torn for so many years and I need help so I can move on with my life. I experienced trauma when I was 8 years old and I did come out about it until I was 40. Now I know this is what's holding me back on my happiness. I've met a very loving and caring man but because I'm holding on to these things from my past I’m pushing him away. How can I get my life back?

https://counselchat.com/questions/my-past-is-holding-me-back-from-my-future-how-can-i-get-my-life-back

trauma

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

Have you explained to your prospective partner about the feeling of vulnerability which you've got?Disclosing one's truth to a trusted person will improve your sense of feeling safe and loved.  It may also take off the pressure you feel to complete your own trajectory of making peace with your past burdens of ilife.If you find your possible new partner is patient and understanding, then you've both removed pressure off yourself and will feel validated and loved for speaking your plain truth and finding it well accepted.If you continue to hide your deeper complexity, or if you explain yourself and ask for the person's patience and understanding, and he avoids giving this to you, then you're better off knowing sooner than later the limits of understanding which this potential partner has.

How do I cope with posttraumatic stress disorder and its triggers?

I am a survivor of multiple sexual abuse/rape experiences. Triggers are having an effect on my daily life and my sexual relationship with my partner. I'm trying to learn to cope with them.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-cope-with-posttraumatic-stress-disorder-and-its-triggers

trauma

Sonya WilsonLicensed Professional Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sonya-wilson

Have you tried counseling?  Having PTSD from multiple abusive sexual experiences is very overwhelming for one to handle alone.  You may need the guidance, experience and support of a professional to identify all the triggers that effect you and obtain the best coping skills that would work for you.

How do I cope with posttraumatic stress disorder and its triggers?

I am a survivor of multiple sexual abuse/rape experiences. Triggers are having an effect on my daily life and my sexual relationship with my partner. I'm trying to learn to cope with them.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-cope-with-posttraumatic-stress-disorder-and-its-triggers

trauma

Elena Engle, LMHC, EMDRVery Good Counseling

https://counselchat.com/therapists/elena-engle-lmhc-emdr

Often people with extensive trauma have difficulty talking about it. This lessens the impact of traditional talk therapy and there benefits. There is a helpful therapy called EMDR that is limited in the amount of talking and also has quick benefits for the reduction of symptoms. For those who are in great distress you can also complete EMDR therapy every day if you would like/have the means. This can quicken the recovery time from these distressing life events.

How do I cope with posttraumatic stress disorder and its triggers?

I am a survivor of multiple sexual abuse/rape experiences. Triggers are having an effect on my daily life and my sexual relationship with my partner. I'm trying to learn to cope with them.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-cope-with-posttraumatic-stress-disorder-and-its-triggers

trauma

Gay Lee Schumann

https://counselchat.com/therapists/gay-lee-schumann

When anyone has experienced a traumatic event, triggers can be a normal result.  Your brain is wired for survival.  When a traumatic event takes place, it can cause your brain to go into a hypervigilant state, thinking that it needs to constantly protect itself.  This is not an indication that something is wrong with you.  It just means that your brain is doing a really great job of protecting you!  Therapy can help you find your "off" switch.

How do I cope with posttraumatic stress disorder and its triggers?

I am a survivor of multiple sexual abuse/rape experiences. Triggers are having an effect on my daily life and my sexual relationship with my partner. I'm trying to learn to cope with them.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-cope-with-posttraumatic-stress-disorder-and-its-triggers

trauma

Emily LaFaveYou're probably wondering how I can help you?

https://counselchat.com/therapists/emily-lafave

Even if the triggers are having a negative impact on your life, it is really insightful of you to be able to identify your triggers. The effects of trauma often impact us, our functioning, and our relationships with other people. It is possible to learn ways to cope with your trauma. Coping skills are not a one size fits all, it is important to find what skill works for what trigger. Therapy will help you process your trauma, identify your thoughts and feelings, teach you coping skills, and help you enhance your personal safety.

How do I cope with posttraumatic stress disorder and its triggers?

I am a survivor of multiple sexual abuse/rape experiences. Triggers are having an effect on my daily life and my sexual relationship with my partner. I'm trying to learn to cope with them.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-cope-with-posttraumatic-stress-disorder-and-its-triggers

trauma

Linda MullinKicking anxiety and depression to the curb!

https://counselchat.com/therapists/linda-mullin

Talking about it stops it from being a secret.  It takes courage to have posted your question and that is the first step. Here is an article I wrote a few years back.  http://abuseisnotasecret.com/why-abuse-is-not-your-fault/One day at a time.

How do I cope with posttraumatic stress disorder and its triggers?

I am a survivor of multiple sexual abuse/rape experiences. Triggers are having an effect on my daily life and my sexual relationship with my partner. I'm trying to learn to cope with them.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-cope-with-posttraumatic-stress-disorder-and-its-triggers

trauma

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

I'm glad you're willing to keep optimistic about life improving and offering better relationships than some of the ones in which you greatly suffered.One suggestion is to develop patience with yourself and the process of regaining your willingness to trust other people.Sexual intimacy engages all of who we truly are.   Being cautious as to who and how much you allow someone into your life, is natural for anyone recovering from trauma.Allow yourself to withdraw when situations feel dangerous.   Your sense of danger is most likely on higher alert than had you not been victimized.Be attentive and cooperate with your own sense of readiness to engage in conversation, discussions and sex with your partner.Explain all this to your partner so the person can develop their own patience with your recuperation process.

How do I cope with posttraumatic stress disorder and its triggers?

I am a survivor of multiple sexual abuse/rape experiences. Triggers are having an effect on my daily life and my sexual relationship with my partner. I'm trying to learn to cope with them.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-cope-with-posttraumatic-stress-disorder-and-its-triggers

trauma

Sarah McIntyreSarah McIntyre, M.Ed., LPC

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sarah-mcintyre

I encourage you to seek out and work with a therapist who specializes in treating complex trauma.  Somatic Experiencing, Brainspotting, and Internal Family Systems Therapy are all highly effective treatments for people dealing with complex trauma.  If you are interested in reading a book that is supportive and compassionate, Bessel van der Kolk's The Body Keeps the Score is a wonderful book that discusses treatment options in depth.

How can I cope with the loss of someone I love?

My good childhood friend died suddenly as a teenager. I haven't seen him in four years and haven't talked to him in months yet somehow this hurts me more than I could ever imagine. It's been about three months since his passing, and I'm still not sure how to cope with this.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-cope-with-the-loss-of-someone-i-love

trauma

Elena Engle, LMHC, EMDRVery Good Counseling

https://counselchat.com/therapists/elena-engle-lmhc-emdr

Often people with extensive trauma have difficulty talking about it. This lessens the impact of traditional talk therapy and there benefits. There is a helpful therapy called EMDR that is limited in the amount of talking and also has quick benefits for the reduction of symptoms. For those who are in great distress you can also complete EMDR therapy every day if you would like/have the means. This can quicken the recovery time from these distressing life events.

How can I cope with the loss of someone I love?

My good childhood friend died suddenly as a teenager. I haven't seen him in four years and haven't talked to him in months yet somehow this hurts me more than I could ever imagine. It's been about three months since his passing, and I'm still not sure how to cope with this.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-cope-with-the-loss-of-someone-i-love

trauma

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

Death of someone with whom we had fond involvement, is sad.   Accepting that a person is permanently gone from this earth, is unsettling and can feel painful.That you had no current contact with this person doesn't exclude the meaning or feelings from within your relationship with this person.     Relationships don't require a time measurement in order to affect us.   Your question acknowledges the process of adjusting to life without the chance to see or hear from this person again.It is normal to grieve so be gentle and not critical of yourself when you feel yourself missing this person.

How can I cope with the loss of someone I love?

My good childhood friend died suddenly as a teenager. I haven't seen him in four years and haven't talked to him in months yet somehow this hurts me more than I could ever imagine. It's been about three months since his passing, and I'm still not sure how to cope with this.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-cope-with-the-loss-of-someone-i-love

trauma

Catherine Cleveland

https://counselchat.com/therapists/catherine-cleveland

I am truly sorry for your loss.His passing has triggered some uneasy emotions. Do you know what these emotions are as you are trying to cope? Be aware, that "coping" is not processing. Coping means that the problem is always there, and you are "managing" rather than healing. And, as you know, that isn't working.Emotional pain comes in waves, which can also cause physical symptoms of anxiety, frustration, and sadness. Rather than coping (avoiding) your feelings, give yourself time to process them. Invite your feelings in when you feel the wave of emotions. Focus on what is going on physically in your body with compassion and curiosity. This will begin your healing process to bring you a sense of peace.Remember, emotions are messengers that help us develop insight into our psychological (and physiological) wellbeing.Please contact me with any questions or more information.~ Catherine

Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?

I was raped a couple months ago, Since then, along with other unfortunately events that have occurred, I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-possible-for-a-person-to-stop-feeling-emotions

trauma

Catherine Cleveland

https://counselchat.com/therapists/catherine-cleveland

Hi!This is a great question!The term you are looking for is alexithymia, the inability to identify and describe emotions in the self. However, just because you are not able to feel or express emotions, does not mean that you do not have emotions.After such a traumatic event that you experienced, your central nervous system goes into defensive mode (dorsal vagal nerves) that protect you from any further harm. What this means is if you were to feel your emotions related to your rape, you would have a sense of being overwhelmed, possibly re-experiencing the traumatic event.Not feeling emotions is your body's way of protecting you from any further trauma. Unfortunately, when the (parasympathetic) dorsal vagal system (shutting down feeling) is activated and suppresses your painful emotions (pain, shame, guilt, sadness, anger), it also shuts down your positive and relational emotions (love, joy, contentment, connectedness, happiness).I am very sorry that you had to go through such a traumatic experience as being raped. No one knows what is going on inside of you as a result. You don't know what is happening to your emotional wellbeing! The best (and at times, difficult and scary) thing is to process your emotions related to your trauma. This processing is done carefully, with a trained counselor, in a place that you feel safe, heard, and not judged. Although the thought of proceedings (addressing) emotions may be anxiety-inducing, it brings on a huge sense of relief and validation.What you are going through is normal, considering what happened to you! I hope you reach out for more help.If you have any questions feel free to contact me, Catherine at clevelandemotionalhealth.com

Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?

I was raped a couple months ago, Since then, along with other unfortunately events that have occurred, I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-possible-for-a-person-to-stop-feeling-emotions

trauma

Ruby Booth

https://counselchat.com/therapists/ruby-booth

I'm so sorry you've been hurt.  It's very normal to stop feeling emotions as a way to protect yourself after experiencing a traumatic event.  You can think of it as emotional shock-- you experienced something that was so awful that you have numbed yourself (mind and body) as a way to stop the emotional and physical pain of the event.  It's actually pretty amazing that our selves know how to do this automatically.  And, I hear you saying that you'd like to get some feeling back now.So here are some ideas for how you can change this:I think it would be a great idea to find an experienced therapist you like and trust and/or a good support group so that you can have some allies as you go through this process.  You also could try journaling.  If you're not sure what to write then check out this list of prompts to get you started (it's for teachers, but I really like it).  There's also art journaling.  Pinterest has lots of suggestions.Meditation could be useful.  There are lots of apps available that offer guided meditations.Yoga, tai chi, or chi gong might also help.I have lots of other ideas, but without knowing more about you I'm reluctant to make suggestions that could accidentally make you feel worse.  IThis protective mechanism of numbing yourself kicked in for a good reason and as you get your feelings back, you may find some pretty challenging reactions coming up.  I guess my final piece of advice to is encourage you to trust yourself and gently go at your own pace in your healing.  I hope this was helpful.

Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?

I was raped a couple months ago, Since then, along with other unfortunately events that have occurred, I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-possible-for-a-person-to-stop-feeling-emotions

trauma

Lola Georgwww.GeorgAssociates.com

https://counselchat.com/therapists/lola-georg

Terrible things do happen in life, and I am sorry to hear about what happened to you. Please rest assured that you are not a sociopath, and that your reactions are normal responses to traumatic events. I'm guessing you are experiencing a sense of numbness, which is a common response to trauma. The best thing you can do is to get some trauma counseling with a professional counselor.  As you process your experience, you will be able to feel emotions again. However, the first feelings to come back may be related to trauma, such as fear, panic, and a sense of hyper vigilance. A professional counselor will be able to help you tolerate these feelings, manage them, and heal from your trauma.

Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?

I was raped a couple months ago, Since then, along with other unfortunately events that have occurred, I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-possible-for-a-person-to-stop-feeling-emotions

trauma

Elena Engle, LMHC, EMDRVery Good Counseling

https://counselchat.com/therapists/elena-engle-lmhc-emdr

It’s common to feel numb after a distressing event like this, you are not alone. Often people with extensive trauma have difficulty talking about it. This lessens the impact of traditional talk therapy and there benefits. There is a helpful therapy called EMDR that is limited in the amount of talking and also has quick benefits for the reduction of symptoms. For those who are in great distress you can also complete EMDR therapy every day if you would like/have the means. This can quicken the recovery time from these distressing life events.

Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?

I was raped a couple months ago, Since then, along with other unfortunately events that have occurred, I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-possible-for-a-person-to-stop-feeling-emotions

trauma

Jennifer Jenkins-BoitnottEMDRIA Approved Consultant & Certified EMDR Therapist

https://counselchat.com/therapists/jennifer-jenkins-boitnott

You have experienced trauma. Feeling detached or having difficulty connecting with your emotions is a common response after experiencing a traumatic event. It is the brain's way of trying to protect us from something that is incredibly overwhelming. I recommend finding an EMDR therapist. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is an integrative psychotherapy approach that has been extensively researched and proven effective for the treatment of trauma. As an EMDR therapist can attest to the massive changes that using EMDR has had for many of the people I have worked with. When we experience a trauma, the sooner we can address it with EMDR, the quicker you will feel relief and the less likely it is to become "stuck" in your long term memory.

Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?

I was raped a couple months ago, Since then, along with other unfortunately events that have occurred, I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-possible-for-a-person-to-stop-feeling-emotions

trauma

Eric KollGold standard trauma therapy for adult Nerds, Geeks, Weirdos, and Misfits

https://counselchat.com/therapists/eric-koll

So believe it or not, this is actually very common.  First off, take a deep breath. It does NOT mean that you're a sociopath. All it means is that your brain has shifted into "survival mode" for a time and might need a little support to get back to normal. Our brain can play tricks on us after a trauma. One thing that most people experience is the desire to "push away" or to avoid reminders of the trauma which include feelings of anxiety, guilt, anger, fear, and sometimes shame. And, if you think about it, that's entirely understandable. Who would want to feel those yucky feelings or to be reminded of the trauma? But here is the catch... the more we try to push those unpleasant emotions away, the more we are actually pushing away our ability to experience positive feelings. Emotions such as happiness, excitement, or closeness with loved ones become increasingly difficult to access. MOST trauma survivors will experience this "emotional blunting" and is actually one of the things we look for when giving a diagnosis of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder.But there is good news! Specialized trauma therapy using evidence-backed approaches can help us to experience the emotions we're trying to push away in a safe environment. It's like our brain needs to fully "digest" what happened in order to return to emotional balance. There are several approaches that can help you recover after a rape (or other traumas).  These might include: Cognitive Processing Therapy Prolonged Exposure TherapyWritten Exposure TherapyEye Movement Desensitization ReprocessingWhen you're considering looking for a therapist, I'd strong encourage you to look for someone trained specifically in one of these approaches. There are mountains of research studies showing that these therapies have the best success rate when recovering from things like rape, a life threatening experience, a natural disaster, or other traumatic experiences. Breathe in, breathe out. You survived and life CAN get better. Trauma therapy is usually time limited (3-4 months) and can help you take your life back. You can do this!

Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?

I was raped a couple months ago, Since then, along with other unfortunately events that have occurred, I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-possible-for-a-person-to-stop-feeling-emotions

trauma

Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPCLicensed Professional Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/kaileen-mcmickle-ms-lpc

The fact that you are concerned shows that you absolutely have emotions about lacking emotions.  Seems like you fear that you are becoming a sociopath, and that alone shows you have emotions.It is incredibly normal to feel "numb" after a trauma like rape.  The emotional impact of rape can be beyond overwhelming, which the brain responds to by basically suppressing those circuits from awareness.  It doesn't mean your emotions don't exist--you brain is just trying to protect you from feeling them.  Because our brains aren't great at selectively burying emotions, it tends to take them all at once.  So when new, emotionally upsetting events happen, the brain sees allowing any emotion through as a threat to the system, so to speak.Speaking to a counselor could help to process through how you are feeling about lacking emotion.  If you search in your area or online for a telehealth therapist, chances are you will find a therapist that has a background in treating trauma that would suit your specific needs.  That may mean that they will recommend talking through your trauma, which can seem like a very daunting task; however, the sooner you process through it, the less it has the power to take over your life.It's actually really astonishing that you are reaching out for help and I so hope you are able to find what you need!

Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?

I was raped a couple months ago, Since then, along with other unfortunately events that have occurred, I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-possible-for-a-person-to-stop-feeling-emotions

trauma

Jennifer GerlachYour Story Matters

https://counselchat.com/therapists/jennifer-gerlach

I don't need to tell you that this is an incredible amount of serious stuff to happen in a short period. When we go through a trauma, it is natural for us to shut down as a way to protect ourselves. A kind of freeze response. Think of a possum or a gazelle. These animals go so far as to physically freeze in protection. Our emotions do the same thing sometimes. We feel shut down and that can be strange---a kind of disconnection. This does not mean that you are sociopath or that your feelings will never come back.  The amazing thing though is that as time moves forward we naturally heal and emotions come back. If you feel stuck, seeking counseling is a way to help accelerate this healing and help you work through and begin healing. Wishing you the absolute best!

Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?

I was raped a couple months ago, Since then, along with other unfortunately events that have occurred, I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-possible-for-a-person-to-stop-feeling-emotions

trauma

Porsche Fryehttps://bmindfulcounseling.com

https://counselchat.com/therapists/porsche-frye

I’m sorry to know this happened to you! This is a normal response to traumatic events. When we are pushed to the extreme and we are unable to escape, we “freeze” which numbs us from pain but disconnects us from our bodies. We oftentimes continue to feel that disconnection until we work through these traumas. I would suggest working through your traumas with a therapist with methods like EMDR, somatic experiencing, yoga therapy, etc to get your emotions and fullness of life back!

Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?

I was raped a couple months ago, Since then, along with other unfortunately events that have occurred, I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-possible-for-a-person-to-stop-feeling-emotions

trauma

Nichole PriceSpecializing in Trauma and Related Disorders

https://counselchat.com/therapists/nichole-price

I am so sorry this has happened to you! I hope you have some people you find emotionally supportive around you! In terms of your question, I understand what you are talking about. Sometimes when a person experiences a traumatic event, an event called Dissociation occurs. Dissociation is the brain's way of temporary creating and increasing  "emotional distance" between what is happening and what you are feeling and experiencing. This is a kind of natural coping mechanism, and it can occur just prior to, during, and after an event has occurred. People describe the feeling as being "numb," or detached from others, their surroundings, and even from their own body. All of these descriptions are accurate and they are your brain's attempt to try and keep you safe from emotions that may otherwise overwhelm you. This is good, in the short-term, because you are not having to immediately face and cope with the immensely painful feelings associated with your trauma. But it is also not-so-good in that it also blocks your ability to feel positive and pleasurable emotions. So while your brain is protecting you, it is also preventing feelings you need now more than ever (such as regaining a sense of safety, soothing your hurts, and feeling empowered for your survival).You are not a sociopath, so do not worry about that, but I would strongly recommend that you consider seeing a therapist or other supportive mental health professional to help you work through what is happened. There are ways for you to heal from your experience which will help you get back to a place where you can feel safe enough to "feel" again.  It might be an uncomfortable journey, at times, but you are already hurting and your life is being negatively impacted, now. Good therapy sometimes is like pulling out a splinter--it may hurt a bit to dig that sucker out, but once it's out, your body can finally start to heal.  It might seem better (and less painful) to leave it alone, and ignore (avoid) it. But you risk INFECTION by your inaction which will be 100 x worse than just digging it out. Best of luck to you!Learn more about me and my practice at www.EMDRheals.com

Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?

I was raped a couple months ago, Since then, along with other unfortunately events that have occurred, I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-possible-for-a-person-to-stop-feeling-emotions

trauma

Kathy HicksCounseling and Psychotherapy Services

https://counselchat.com/therapists/kathy-hicks

You are describing a very legitimate reaction to trauma.  Rape is an aweful experience and I am very sorry that happened to you.  When horrible things happen, people often react in a way that interferes with the ability to live a normal life and function the way they did in the past.  This is very common and the goal is to help you manage the stress caused by dealing with negative events and with help you can regain emotional well-being.  This is especially important if you have had more than one negative thing happen.  Oftentimes, the unconscious reaction is to become numb and avoid all feelings, especially if more than one negative event occurred.  A big part of what causes people trouble are feelings of guilt.  We often blame ourselves when bad things happen. It is actually difficult to comprehend the concept that we don't always have control of what happens in life.  In addition, when you mentioned feeling like a sociopath, it sounded like you feel like your reaction is wrong.  The first thing you can do is realize that your feelings and reactions are o.k., you aren't doing anything wrong, and nothing is wrong with you.  The next step is to start dealing with the impact of these traumatic experiences. Identifying your feelings, and knowing the thoughts and beliefs that are behind those emotions can help you regain your sense of happiness.  Research shows that understanding and expressing those thoughts and feelings can help.  If doesn't sound like you need to do anything to change yourself, but talking to a counselor can be helpful in managing your reaction to a incredibly traumatic experience.  I hope this helps you understand your feelings and can get to a place where you enjoy life.

Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?

I was raped a couple months ago, Since then, along with other unfortunately events that have occurred, I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-possible-for-a-person-to-stop-feeling-emotions

trauma

Catherine HodgeLicensed Mental Health Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/catherine-hodge

First and foremost, be gentle and patient with yourself. It is normal to feel a range of emotions after a severe trauma including no emotions at all. Try not to push yourself to feel, just notice the lack of emotion you are experiencing right now. Maybe write about your emotions and the lack of them or talk about it with a safe person. Unfortunately recovering from trauma can take time and it's best done at your own pace. If you aren't feeling there may be a reason you aren't feeling. For severe trauma I always recommend working with a trained trauma professional who has the training to guide you on your path to healing fully.

Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?

I was raped a couple months ago, Since then, along with other unfortunately events that have occurred, I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-possible-for-a-person-to-stop-feeling-emotions

trauma

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

Sociopaths don't know they are sociopaths.Clearly, you realize you have pretty deep emotions and have lived through several severely distressing situations.Your sense of self may be protecting for a while until you recover the practical aspects of daily life and feel some sense of predictability and stability in your life.Knowing and feeling disturbing emotions which rupture basic trust that other people are safe, is itself a raw process.Yes, it is possible to become numb emotionally.   The good purpose is to protect you from additional hurt.When your inner world feels itself ready, more of your emotions from the recent distressing events will be accessible.If many months pass and you see no progress, then definitely consider a few sessions with a therapist who would be able to guide you to become more open to your feelings.

Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?

I was raped a couple months ago, Since then, along with other unfortunately events that have occurred, I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-possible-for-a-person-to-stop-feeling-emotions

trauma

Laurel FayMarriage and Relationship Expert

https://counselchat.com/therapists/laurel-fay-2

You're not a sociopath - you're traumatized. Shutting off feelings is our brain's automatic way of protecting us when something bad happens and we just can't deal with any more pain. It's temporary - which is both good and bad news, because after the numb goes away and your brain decides you're ready to handle it, you'll feel the emotional pain.  My advice is to get a therapist ASAP so you have a safe place and a safe person when that happens.This is a horrible thing that happened to you, but you are not a horrible person. With good therapy you will learn to assimilate this into the rest of your life. You'll never forget, but you won't have the same pain about it  .Good luck! You can do this!

Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?

I was raped a couple months ago, Since then, along with other unfortunately events that have occurred, I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-possible-for-a-person-to-stop-feeling-emotions

trauma

Miriam Dyak

https://counselchat.com/therapists/miriam-dyak

I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you! What you are describing is being in a state of shock. You haven't suddenly become a sociopath - this is a normal reaction to an event that is completely overwhelming. There are most likely too many feelings to feel right now, so your body in its wisdom is shutting them down. You absolutely can recover, and it would be really important to get some trauma counseling with a counselor who feels safe for you to talk with. This is not the kind of situation to try and handle totally on your own.

PTSD is impacting my whole life

I have PTSD. The side effects are really bad and have impacts on sex, anger and my relationships. I even lost my job month ago. How can I get my life back?

https://counselchat.com/questions/ptsd-is-impacting-my-whole-life

trauma

Elena Engle, LMHC, EMDRVery Good Counseling

https://counselchat.com/therapists/elena-engle-lmhc-emdr

Often people with extensive trauma have difficulty talking about it. This lessens the impact of traditional talk therapy and there benefits. There is a helpful therapy called EMDR that is limited in the amount of talking and also has quick benefits for the reduction of symptoms. For those who are in great distress you can also complete EMDR therapy every day if you would like/have the means. This can quicken the recovery time from these distressing life events.

PTSD is impacting my whole life

I have PTSD. The side effects are really bad and have impacts on sex, anger and my relationships. I even lost my job month ago. How can I get my life back?

https://counselchat.com/questions/ptsd-is-impacting-my-whole-life

trauma

Erin Pritchard, MA, LPCC-S | EMDR IntensivesSea Glass Counseling and Consultation

https://counselchat.com/therapists/erin-pritchard-ma-lpcc-s-emdr-intensives

Sounds like you are really experiencing a rough time. I applaud you for recognizing the need for change. Healing is possible! Find a good therapist you feel safe with who specializes in trauma and PTSD. They will work with you to help you learn healthy coping skills, feel safe in your body again, manage emotions, and improve your relationships.

PTSD is impacting my whole life

I have PTSD. The side effects are really bad and have impacts on sex, anger and my relationships. I even lost my job month ago. How can I get my life back?

https://counselchat.com/questions/ptsd-is-impacting-my-whole-life

trauma

Kennedy McLeanTrauma Specialist, Therapist in Private Practice

https://counselchat.com/therapists/kennedy-mclean

Hi there,I can sense the frustration in your post. PTSD can, and often does affect so many aspects of life. There are evidence based treatments for PTSD that can help with some of the side effects. You can learn to identify your triggers, ground yourself and regulate your emotions better for example. It is possible to recover but it will be slow, and it is hard work. It is important to know that. You need to be gentle with yourself. If you don’t have one already, I would suggest trying to find a therapist, depending on where you live, there may be some free or low-cost options available or support groups. Your life may not look the same but it is possible to have life after trauma.

PTSD is impacting my whole life

I have PTSD. The side effects are really bad and have impacts on sex, anger and my relationships. I even lost my job month ago. How can I get my life back?

https://counselchat.com/questions/ptsd-is-impacting-my-whole-life

trauma

Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPCLicensed Professional Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/kaileen-mcmickle-ms-lpc

There's so many treatments for PTSD and trauma-related issues.  Your path might look different than what someone else's path looks like, though most people benefit from learning emotional awareness and regulation, increasing tolerance for talking about traumatic situations, and a deep understanding of how to tell the difference between a past vs. present event.  A counselor that you feel connected to can offer you a safe place to explore these areas and come up with a personalized treatment plan.  It's common to feel worse when you're addressing the tough stuff, but there's really no shortcut to healing.  Even if you don't see a counselor, believe in your ability to get through those emotions.  You've probably been enduring some intense emotions if your life is being turned upside-down, so you can definitely make it through whatever is causing you pain--and remember you don't have to do it alone.Bessel Van Der Kolk (basically the leading trauma researcher) has an amazing book called 'The Body Keeps the Score'.  It's the trauma bible. It's all about how the body reacts to and stores trauma, with many different ways to cope.  Trigger warning though--he does share some client stories that involve trauma.  They aren't the bulk of his book but they do show up so just be aware of that.  You can find his book on amazon pretty cheap.You've already reached out and that's a big part of getting your life back.  Keep pushing through!

PTSD is impacting my whole life

I have PTSD. The side effects are really bad and have impacts on sex, anger and my relationships. I even lost my job month ago. How can I get my life back?

https://counselchat.com/questions/ptsd-is-impacting-my-whole-life

trauma

Catherine Cleveland

https://counselchat.com/therapists/catherine-cleveland

This is a great question. PTSD can be very complex and debilitating. It must be very difficult for you at this time.When we feel complex emotions such as anger, frustration, and possibly low-self worth, the tendency is to try to avoid or suppress these emotions. The more you avoid them, the more these emotions will express themselves, and at the worst times. This may be why your PTSD symptoms are harming your relationships and your job status.To help you get your life back, it is important to process your emotions with a counselor that has specific training in trauma-informed interventions. To process emotions, you start by inviting them in, observe them with compassion and without judgment. When we observe our emotions, it starts the healing process because we separate ourselves from them. Remember, thoughts and emotions are constructed. You are not your thoughts, nor your emotions. They are messengers telling you to pay attention to them. The more we avoid the messengers, the louder they get, to the point that they are crippling you in more than one way.I hope this helps you begin your change process. For more information, please here is a link to a trauma post on my blog The Wisdom Room.Please reach out for help. And contact me with any questions.Sincerely~ Catherine ClevelandCleveland Emotional Health

PTSD is impacting my whole life

I have PTSD. The side effects are really bad and have impacts on sex, anger and my relationships. I even lost my job month ago. How can I get my life back?

https://counselchat.com/questions/ptsd-is-impacting-my-whole-life

trauma

Michael SamarIntegrative Psychotherapist and Mindfulness Coach

https://counselchat.com/therapists/michael-samar

Your feeling overwhelmed by emotion and finding it difficult to trust people.  This can be a really scary feeling.  It is a common reaction for individuals who have endured a traumatic experience.  Often, the aftermath of a trauma can leave people feeling constantly on guard, panicky, depressed, isolated, and riddled with nightmares and intrusive thoughts of the incident.  And while the signs and symptoms can feel complex and at times overwhelming, feeling better is more than possible.  Give yourself credit for the courage that it takes to reach out.  With trauma therapy, I would expect you will begin feeling better as we implement a compassionate and client-focused evidenced -based approach together. I've helped countless people to gain positive ground over their traumatic experiences in a safe, supportive environment.  I offer a variety of evidenced based traditional therapies as well as holistic modalities to best support you on the path to healing.  We will work together as allies in your treatment.  It would be an honor to work with you.

PTSD is impacting my whole life

I have PTSD. The side effects are really bad and have impacts on sex, anger and my relationships. I even lost my job month ago. How can I get my life back?

https://counselchat.com/questions/ptsd-is-impacting-my-whole-life

trauma

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

Slowly is the rate at which you'll get back your life.Being traumatized means not feeling safe in almost all areas of life.Be patient with yourself as you try to regain trust that people will not harm you and will be sources of satisfaction in your life.It is possible that the trauma in your life requires such great attention on your part to your own inner emotional safety that you are better off with a less intensive job than the one you recently lost.Try to prioritize restoring your emotional and psychological health.  With this as the top area of your attention then you may have an easier time to accept a lesser degree of involvement in your work and relationships.When you feel angry, try to examine if underlying the anger are feelings of stress, fear, insecurity regarding your position in relationship to the person toward whom you feel angry.   Anger is often the surface reaction to more destabilizing emotions like fear and insecurity.Gradually by nurturing and comforting yourself, living at a pace which is uniquely comfortable to what and how much you can handle, you'll regain your trust in both yourself and relating to others.

PTSD is impacting my whole life

I have PTSD. The side effects are really bad and have impacts on sex, anger and my relationships. I even lost my job month ago. How can I get my life back?

https://counselchat.com/questions/ptsd-is-impacting-my-whole-life

trauma

Manya KhoddamiI aspire to inspire you to tap into your own inner potentials and transform symptoms to strengths.

https://counselchat.com/therapists/manya-khoddami

It is brave of you to speak out, PTSD is not a joke and it can quickly take a toll on all aspect of life. Please, know that you are not alone and with the right help you can overcome these challenges. Living with PTSD can be very emotionally exhausting, but you can learn ways to cope with its challenges and find fulfillment in your life again. This means being proactively involved with the process, learning about the problem and positive ways to manage it can be a good start. This can also mean seeking professional help. It is important to address the problem both at the physiological and psychological level, this can mean using medication that is prescribed by a MD to reduce the intensity symptoms and also working with an experienced licensed professional. Having healthy life habits such as good sleep hygiene, healthy diet, staying away from self-medicating with drugs and alcohol, and exercising can help reduce the intensity of the symptoms as well. Please, consult with a licensed professional close to you to get more information on resources you can possibly find helpful to you.

PTSD is impacting my whole life

I have PTSD. The side effects are really bad and have impacts on sex, anger and my relationships. I even lost my job month ago. How can I get my life back?

https://counselchat.com/questions/ptsd-is-impacting-my-whole-life

trauma

Viktoria IvanovaYou are a warrior! Every day you wake and face the excitement and challenges of the world. At times, we all need a guide to get us through the tough times on our life journey. Together, we will decipher mysteries of life.

https://counselchat.com/therapists/viktoria-ivanova

Hi there, I hear you, PTSD has a very debilitating effect on your whole life. I know that from personal experience. Recovering from it is possible and doable! First is step is to acknowledge to yourself that your PTSD symptoms are a normal reaction to an abnormal and traumatic event. The nightmares, the anxiety, the heightened startle response - are all typical human responses following exposure to a frightening event. It's important that you don't blame yourself or your body for reacting this way, rather approach yourself with compassion and kindness that you would extend a friend who is hurting. The second step is to start taking steps towards healing. I would really encourage you to see a counselor or therapist specializing in trauma recovery so that you have a guided, step by step support. But if this is not an option, you can begin your healing on your own using a step-by-step approach outlined in the book, Healing Trauma, by Peter Levin. It's a very hands-on book and even comes with a CD audio guide. It has concrete exercises that you can do to help you eliminate dissociation, feel grounded, and decrease your anxiety response. I have used myself and with my clients with great success! You can begin your recovery journey now with this video with Peter Levin's approach to Trauma Recovery: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmJDkzDMllcOne last thing, I suggest consulting with a nutritionist or a doctor to help you boost your healing with supplements, vitamins, and minerals. The stress from PTSD is very draining on the body, and you use up a lot of energy and resources, so at times of trauma supplements are quite necessary for recovery (Magnesium, Omega 3, Zinc, Vitamin C....etc)

I have nightmares and flashbacks about a past relationship

I was the one who ended it, and I'm so glad I did. It was the best decision I made in my life. But how do I stop the nightmares and flashbacks? It is creating a wall in my current relationship.

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-nightmares-and-flashbacks-about-a-past-relationship

trauma

Locke Curfman

https://counselchat.com/therapists/locke-curfman

Ending an abusive relationship is often very difficult, especially if you were very close initially without the presence of abuse.  If the abuse included verbal or psychological condemnation, you will often have a negative self-image that you may "know" is not true but often feels very true. This negative self-image and fear of being abused again can activate protections in you that were needed at the time you were abused but now create a "wall" in your current relationship.  The fact that you were able to end the relationship and know that you made the right decision is a great acknowledgement that you have solid internal resources to draw upon in healing from the abuse.  Good for you!Nightmares and flashbacks are a strong sign of memories, including associated beliefs, emotions, and physical sensations, that have remained unprocessed and therefore unhealed.  There are likely reminders (called triggers) of the past abuse that are being activated in your current relationship that are allowing these unhealed memories to come to the surface and affect both your sleep and your waking experiences.  This is certainly not something you are purposefully doing but is the result of what happened to you.  However, you likely feel as if you are not in control.    The goal is protect your current relationship, evaluate your self-image for flaws in beliefs and feelings, and begin working on healing your memories of abuse. In many cases, my use of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) would be helpful in reducing the emotional strength of your abuse memories, reduce or eliminate triggers, bring healing, and allow you to enjoy being in the present with your current relationship.  I would recommend discussing with your current partner your harmful past experiences, your decision to pursue counseling, and your strong desire to be healthy for your current relationship.  With a good support network in place, healing is very possible.

I have nightmares and flashbacks about a past relationship

I was the one who ended it, and I'm so glad I did. It was the best decision I made in my life. But how do I stop the nightmares and flashbacks? It is creating a wall in my current relationship.

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-nightmares-and-flashbacks-about-a-past-relationship

trauma

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

From what you describe about yourself, I agree with you that ending your former relationship was a very wise decision.The nightmares and flashbacks show that you were deeply affected emotionally and on the foundations of your basic nature.The way for these to stop is by the slow process of realizing how badly injured and frightened you were of your former partner.Once you've stabilized yourself by accepting the tremendous harshness that was part of the former relationship, then the nightmares and flashbacks will disappear gradually usually, maybe all at once.There is a possibility too that your former relationship connected with being emotionally ignored, abandoned, treated harshly during your time of growing up years.Since generally people choose partners who relate similarly to the ways in which they felt treated by parents, it is possible that you had been badly treated while growing up and weren't aware of this until going through this terrible relationship.Congratulations on ending your relationship!

I have nightmares and flashbacks about a past relationship

I was the one who ended it, and I'm so glad I did. It was the best decision I made in my life. But how do I stop the nightmares and flashbacks? It is creating a wall in my current relationship.

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-nightmares-and-flashbacks-about-a-past-relationship

trauma

Frank TheusMA, LPC, NCC, CSAT

https://counselchat.com/therapists/frank-theus

Thanks for sharing and asking for help.  You mention that you're the one who ended the relationship in the past, yet are haunted by nightmares and flashbacks. Your comments here lead me to wonder that you may have experienced some form of trauma in this past relationship; and, if so, I would encourage you to additionally consider the whole of your story-line as it relates to trauma. Doing so will serve you well for your own peace-of-mind especially so in your current relationship.  The best way to do all of this in a supportive fashion is to work with an experienced therapist who specializes in trauma-focused care. The therapist may, if indicated, wish to to incorporate EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) which "...is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences.  Best wishes.Resource for Your Consideration: http://www.emdr.com/

I have nightmares and flashbacks about a past relationship

I was the one who ended it, and I'm so glad I did. It was the best decision I made in my life. But how do I stop the nightmares and flashbacks? It is creating a wall in my current relationship.

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-nightmares-and-flashbacks-about-a-past-relationship

trauma

Janeanna GalliBringing light to life's dark places

https://counselchat.com/therapists/janeanna-galli

It sounds like you have not had the opportunity to process through the trauma you have endured. It would help if you have the opportunity to speak with someone on a regular basis until the symptoms of your trauma have subsided.

I have nightmares and flashbacks about a past relationship

I was the one who ended it, and I'm so glad I did. It was the best decision I made in my life. But how do I stop the nightmares and flashbacks? It is creating a wall in my current relationship.

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-nightmares-and-flashbacks-about-a-past-relationship

trauma

Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, BC-TMH, CCTP, CCHI tailor my therapeutic approach to each client's strengths and goals

https://counselchat.com/therapists/lauren-ostrowski-ma-lpc-ncc-bc-tmh-cctp-cch

One thing you could try to do on your own is to focus on the partner who is in front of you now. If you are able to connect with them via touch or focusing on their tone of voice, that may help to center you. Tried to stay grounded and/or mindful. That is being aware of your position in the room, your feet on the floor, your hands in your lap, or your hips in the chair. Being mindful of the environment you are currently (for example, noticing what is around you) may be helpful. Try to use all your senses. For example, you could focus on hearing your husband's voice, feeling his hand in yours, being wrapped in your favorite blanket, seeing a comforting photo, using a comforting sense or candle, or tasting an apple that reminds you of times when you have enjoyed yourself in the kitchen.It also sounds like you are having a very specific reaction that could very well be related to trauma. I would recommend that you talk with a local mental health professional.Remember, just because it was the best decision of your life, that doesn't mean that what happened to you or in your presence automatically leaves you when you leave the relationship. Our brain is actually hardwired to remember things that have caused us pain or great emotional distress as a way of protecting us from them happening again. This is a very natural response and the reactions you have as far as nightmares and flashbacks are the past coming forward and your brain trying to make sense of it all.

I have nightmares and flashbacks about a past relationship

I was the one who ended it, and I'm so glad I did. It was the best decision I made in my life. But how do I stop the nightmares and flashbacks? It is creating a wall in my current relationship.

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-nightmares-and-flashbacks-about-a-past-relationship

trauma

Laurie WardCounselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/laurie-ward-parkville-missouri

EMDR therapy has shown great results for work with PTSD symptoms which are similar to what you described. If you are unable to find a local EMDR specialist then I would suggest some meditation and journaling in addition to talk therapy to process your trauma. Your anxiety response centers int he brain are in hyper vigilance mode and retraining to turn down that response could be helpful for you.

I have nightmares and flashbacks about a past relationship

I was the one who ended it, and I'm so glad I did. It was the best decision I made in my life. But how do I stop the nightmares and flashbacks? It is creating a wall in my current relationship.

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-nightmares-and-flashbacks-about-a-past-relationship

trauma

Candice Conroy, LMHCFind relief from anxiety, depression, and trauma.

https://counselchat.com/therapists/candice-conroy-lmhc

A lot of times when you're experiencing nightmares and flashbacks, it can be a sign that you haven't fully processed what happened. Our brains tend to replay scenes in our life that we wish had turned out differently or  in an effort to desensitize us to it.  If you are comfortable with it, you may want to consider sharing what you're experiencing with your current partner so that he is able to understand what's going on. Also, you may want to consider  what parts of your past relationship you blame yourself for. This can be a difficult task to undertake on your own, and the help of the therapist may be necessary to sort through the memories in a safe way.  Typically however, flashbacks and nightmares are a sign that the trauma  of what you went through needs to be addressed.  it's a great thing that you were able to have the courage to get out of that relationship and you should be proud of yourself for that.  You may want to  begin therapy to address these traumatic memories and help you to sort through any conflicting emotions you have about it (i.e.  Feeling like it's your fault for not recognizing the abuse or getting out of the relationship sooner, blaming yourself for being  " The kind of person who gets into an abusive relationship ",  or believing that you somehow caused your ex to abuse you in some way.)  These types of beliefs and feelings can prevent us from moving past traumatic experiences and a trained therapist can certainly help you sort through them.

I have nightmares and flashbacks about a past relationship

I was the one who ended it, and I'm so glad I did. It was the best decision I made in my life. But how do I stop the nightmares and flashbacks? It is creating a wall in my current relationship.

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-nightmares-and-flashbacks-about-a-past-relationship

trauma

David AlpertEnlightened Care

https://counselchat.com/therapists/david-alpert

Your challenge is called "co-dependency." People seek approval from others in an obsessive way when they are failing to truly accept themselves. I encourage you to truly love yourself and know that you have every right to every sensation, emotion, thought, and inspiration that you may have. Best of luck on your journey.

My girlfriend can't stand it when I touch her

My girlfriend was abused as a child. Now, if I hug or touch her in any kind of way she says she feels as if she is being abused as a child. What might be going on?

https://counselchat.com/questions/my-girlfriend-can-t-stand-it-when-i-touch-her

trauma

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

Was your gf always this way with you or did her withdrawal develop suddenly?Also, are there any other changes going on between the two of you in terms of feeling relaxed and at ease with each other, enjoying each other?Its possible her physical withdrawal, due to her sensitive nature about who touches her and the meaning of touch, reflects an underlying emotional hesitation about her feelings toward you.This can be either strong positive or negative feelings.She may be fearful of becoming more intimately attached to you, and withdraws.She may be actually withdrawing and expresses herself through the amount of touch she wants from others.Best way forward as almost always in a relationship, is to have a gentle conversation to open up the tension between the two of you.

My girlfriend can't stand it when I touch her

My girlfriend was abused as a child. Now, if I hug or touch her in any kind of way she says she feels as if she is being abused as a child. What might be going on?

https://counselchat.com/questions/my-girlfriend-can-t-stand-it-when-i-touch-her

trauma

Erin Pritchard, MA, LPCC-S | EMDR IntensivesSea Glass Counseling and Consultation

https://counselchat.com/therapists/erin-pritchard-ma-lpcc-s-emdr-intensives

Sounds like she might be triggered and having a trauma response. This is normal for folks who've experienced trauma. The part of our brains that detects "danger" acts like a smoke alarm in our house: it's constantly scanning for threats and makes a bunch of noise if it detects one. Smoke alarms can't distinguish between smokey bacon cooking or an actual house fire - they just detect a threat and alert everyone of it. Our brain is similar. Her brain has probably learned that physical touch is dangerous for her, so whatever response she has next is her brain's way of trying to protect her. Particularly with sexual trauma, this can be a really frustrating experience for romantic partners trying to connect physically or sexually.

My girlfriend can't stand it when I touch her

My girlfriend was abused as a child. Now, if I hug or touch her in any kind of way she says she feels as if she is being abused as a child. What might be going on?

https://counselchat.com/questions/my-girlfriend-can-t-stand-it-when-i-touch-her

trauma

Sarah McIntyreSarah McIntyre, M.Ed., LPC

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sarah-mcintyre

Thank you for your question.  I think it's wonderful that you are approaching this with openness and curiosity.  The reaction you are describing is extremely common in survivors of abuse.  What you said is insightful...when you touch her "she feels as if she is being abused as a child."  From your description, I would agree that in those moments she is re-experiencing something that happened in the past as if it is happening right now.  Re-experiencing or reliving traumatic experiences is a key symptom of PTSD.If you are seeking to better understand what is going on for her, I would highly recommend Bessel van der Kolk's book the Body Keeps the Score.  This book also discusses effective treatments for overcoming trauma.  Best of luck to both of you,Sarah

Should we put off kids until my husband is mentally cured?

My boyfriend is seeking therapy. He is in his 40s and has some childhood issues. He has kids from his previous ex-wife and is unable to see them.

https://counselchat.com/questions/should-we-put-off-kids-until-my-husband-is-mentally-cured

trauma

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

Probably the more important questions to answer concern how much confidence you have in you and your boyfriend becoming parents, how you each feel about the influence of his being banned from seeing his current children, and be clear about the circumstances that led up to the decision of him not being permitted to see his kids.Don't allow some random professional to pronounce your boyfriend as cured.  A relatively qualified therapist would never make this call.Psychological and emotional tensions emerge from our relationships within families.  You and your boyfriend are in a position to set a strong foundation for having children, assuming each of you wants children.Childhood issues, your boyfriend's, anyone's, are more likely to go away when new patterns of interacting emerge.If the two of you are engaged in setting a secure relationship as future parents, the disappointments and hurt from the very early years, will be replaced by better ways of interacting.

Can I get over PTSD on my own?

I have PTSD from childhood events and other traumas as an adult. I have panic attacks, nightmares, anger, and at times depression. I feel like I'm always on the edge or just apathetic. Can I fix this by myself?

https://counselchat.com/questions/can-i-get-over-ptsd-on-my-own

trauma

Allison Schickedanz, LMHCHere to help you through this journey

https://counselchat.com/therapists/allison-schickedanz-lmhc

I am so sorry to here about what you are experiencing.  Your question is kind of difficult to answer, because there are a lot of things that go into what caused you to develop PTSD in the first place.  You could work on developing ways to work on decreasing the negative responses you are having, such as panic attacks or anger.  This could be done using coping skills, mindfulness and thought reframing.  This could help you to not experience the panic attacks or anger in such intensity.You could also perhaps join an outpatient mental health group, because they help to teach basic coping skills and provide other helpful resources.  If you want to go this route, look at local behavioral health hospitals or even a local hospital, NAMI.org to find more information about groups or even look on psychologytoday.com to see what you can find near you.  Lastly, you could work with a therapist if these don't appeal to you.  I know this isn't exactly you fixing it by yourself, but hear me out.  Therapy is a lot of work, but it is also a lot of self-introspection and self-care.  While you go to see someone, you also have to do a lot of work on your own.  A therapist isn't going to make the changes for you, they just give you the tools and skills you need to get to where you want to go.I hope this helps you and I wish you the best.

Can I get over PTSD on my own?

I have PTSD from childhood events and other traumas as an adult. I have panic attacks, nightmares, anger, and at times depression. I feel like I'm always on the edge or just apathetic. Can I fix this by myself?

https://counselchat.com/questions/can-i-get-over-ptsd-on-my-own

trauma

Candice Conroy, LMHCFind relief from anxiety, depression, and trauma.

https://counselchat.com/therapists/candice-conroy-lmhc

When it comes to trauma, especially in the event that it has caused you to develop PTSD, there can be a lot of difficulty in attempting to resolve these issues on your own simply because of how strong your urge to avoid it whenever thoughts of the traumatic experience come up. PTSD is best treated with the help of a mental health professional and if using the Cognitive Processing Approach can be treated in as few as 17 weeks. As for your other concerns, many of these can be treated independently if you have the motivation to manage your way through. Panic attacks and depression, specifically, often respond well to self-help treatment manuals. The Centre for Clinical Interventions is a great online resource for workbooks to help you learn to manage the depression and panic attacks. Whether you decide to work through these concerns on your own or in professional therapy, just know that your panic attacks must be managed prior to addressing your trauma. Hope this is helpful and if you have any other questions don't hesitate to ask.

Can I get over PTSD on my own?

I have PTSD from childhood events and other traumas as an adult. I have panic attacks, nightmares, anger, and at times depression. I feel like I'm always on the edge or just apathetic. Can I fix this by myself?

https://counselchat.com/questions/can-i-get-over-ptsd-on-my-own

trauma

Sonya WilsonLicensed Professional Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sonya-wilson

I will not say that you can't but I will say it will be much harder and the time may take much longer.  Getting help and having someone to be there with you through the ups and down of PTSD makes the journey much easier.

What is the best way to cope with the loss of someone to suicide?

I recently lost a friend to suicide. I'm smoking marijuana and drinking more to cope with it. How can I handle this better?

https://counselchat.com/questions/what-is-the-best-way-to-cope-with-the-loss-of-someone-to-suicide

trauma

Cimberly R. NeskerRegistered Psychotherapist (3579)

https://counselchat.com/therapists/cimberly-r-nesker

I'm so sorry to hear about your recent loss.  There is such a large feeling of uncertainty that befalls those of us left to sort through these emotions of such a loss, and it's never easy.  I think it's important to remember that there is no "right" or "wrong" way to deal with loss and the "best way" for you may not be the best way for someone else.  The fact that you are aware that you are smoking more marijuana and drinking more, and the fact that you can recognize that these may not be the best coping techniques, is a very good step towards giving yourself some better support at this time.  Marijuana and drinking are type of coping techniques that can numb us to our emotions, but they do not really help us to work through those emotions. When it comes to grief, often one of the most helpful ways to move through the phases of grief is to use your social supports; talk to your friends and family, see your mutual friends and commiserate with each other on the loss and the uncertainty.  The more we talk about our feelings, the more we are okay with them being ours. The more we express our loss, the better we become at accepting such a loss. In talking with your supports, you may also decide ways in which you may want to remember your friend; ways you can do so on a personal level (writing a poem, planting a tree, etc.) or ways you as a group can remember and memorialize them (a special day where you get together to share your memories, starting a charity, etc.) We never truly "get over" our losses, but we can learnt o accept the losses and what it means to us now...but that also takes time.

What is the best way to cope with the loss of someone to suicide?

I recently lost a friend to suicide. I'm smoking marijuana and drinking more to cope with it. How can I handle this better?

https://counselchat.com/questions/what-is-the-best-way-to-cope-with-the-loss-of-someone-to-suicide

trauma

Cory Ian Shafer LPCPsychotherapist, Jungian, Hypnotherapy

https://counselchat.com/therapists/cory-ian-shafer-lpc

Suicide is not a natural way to pass from this Earth, so many times it can be EXTREMELY tough to deal with because of the "unnatural-ness" of the event. We may find ourselves feeling guilty that we did not see it or that we could've have done more or something to stop it, but often the fish in the fishbowl cannot see that which is closest to him. You are currently trying to numb your feelings, those feelings as nasty as they are, are meant to be felt, those feelings help us to process the event and also help us to pass through the situation. Your friend has a legacy, remember it, and honor that legacy everyday in some small or even grand way, perhaps committing or volunteering your time to help others in honor of your friend.Hope this helps, C

What is the best way to cope with the loss of someone to suicide?

I recently lost a friend to suicide. I'm smoking marijuana and drinking more to cope with it. How can I handle this better?

https://counselchat.com/questions/what-is-the-best-way-to-cope-with-the-loss-of-someone-to-suicide

trauma

Ben BraaksmaMental Health Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma

First of all, I am very sorry for your loss, and I can understand the urge to drink and smoke to try and cope. As I'm sure you understand, alcohol and marijuana may take the edge off of the pain in the short run, but in the long run they may prevent you from being able to work through the thoughts and feelings that you have about the loss of your friend. Grieving is a process that is unique to each individual and each relationship that may involve difficult, confusing, and even contradictory seeming thoughts and feelings and a competent therapist can help you work through this process. It also may be useful for you to add other ways of coping, such as taking care of yourself through exercise, doing healthy activities that you love, and spending time with people that you love. Self care is often most difficult when we need it the most. Thank you for reaching out.

What is the best way to cope with the loss of someone to suicide?

I recently lost a friend to suicide. I'm smoking marijuana and drinking more to cope with it. How can I handle this better?

https://counselchat.com/questions/what-is-the-best-way-to-cope-with-the-loss-of-someone-to-suicide

trauma

Claudia HigginsTherapist, RCSWI

https://counselchat.com/therapists/claudia-higgins

Let me begin by offering my condolences for your loss. I can understand how difficult this time maybe for you especially if you have several unanswered the questions due to the circumstances surrounding the death of your friend.  It's during this time, that you may experience the various stages of grief. This includes denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. In the bereavement process, there is so specific time frame or lengths of time for someone to work through each step. Its imperative to note  that one may express each stage with different levels of intensity. Also, the five stages do not necessarily occur in any specific order. We often move between stages before achieving a more peaceful acceptance of death. Just note that everyone greives differently, some internalize their feelings and emotions, others express it externally, while other avoid it all together.Coping with loss is ultimately a deeply personal and singular experience. Sometimes we feel that no one understands what we are feeling or going through, much less comprehend our emotional state of mind . What's important, is that you allow others to comfort you through the various stages. My recommendation is to allow yourself to go through the emotions and feel the grief. Avoiding or resisting may only delay the healing process. Reaching the acceptance stage of mourning is a gift not not everyone is awarded, but seeking the help of a Grief counselor may assist in deciphering your emotions and set you on a more positive path to achieve closer.

What is the best way to cope with the loss of someone to suicide?

I recently lost a friend to suicide. I'm smoking marijuana and drinking more to cope with it. How can I handle this better?

https://counselchat.com/questions/what-is-the-best-way-to-cope-with-the-loss-of-someone-to-suicide

trauma

Jessica DobbsTherapist

https://counselchat.com/therapists/jessica-dobbs

Suicide is a very traumatic loss and affects survivors significantly. Everyone deals with their grief in different ways. One way I recommend to deal with the loss of a loved one is to write letters to them. Some people like to keep the letters in a jar, maybe fill the jar with sand so the letters are buried. I recommend writing the letters as often as you need to. You will notice over time the need to write the letters will decrease and the intense feelings of loss will decrease. I also recommend finding a survivors support group in your area. You can find more information on www.afsp.org.

What is the best way to cope with the loss of someone to suicide?

I recently lost a friend to suicide. I'm smoking marijuana and drinking more to cope with it. How can I handle this better?

https://counselchat.com/questions/what-is-the-best-way-to-cope-with-the-loss-of-someone-to-suicide

trauma

Lynda MartensMarriage & Family Therapist, MSc, RP, RMFT

https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario

I urge you to seek some therapeutic help for this, and also to connect with others who knew your friend, because they're likely feeling the same way. Suicide is difficult to understand, and those left behind have many mixed emotions that make their grief complicated and anguished. Your friend either had an impulse that no one could stop, or they made a big decision that impacted everyone around them. There are other things you can do to cope with this, and it has to do with accepting your powerlessness to stop it, not blaming yourself, forgiving your friend, and finding meaning in their life and yours. You won't find that meaning in a bottle or a joint. I hope you reach out soon. :)

What is the best way to cope with the loss of someone to suicide?

I recently lost a friend to suicide. I'm smoking marijuana and drinking more to cope with it. How can I handle this better?

https://counselchat.com/questions/what-is-the-best-way-to-cope-with-the-loss-of-someone-to-suicide

trauma

2nd Chance Counseling Service Online Addiction Therapy ProviderConvenient Online Addiction Therapy

https://counselchat.com/therapists/2nd-chance-counseling-service-online-addiction-therapy-provider

First I am so sorry for your loss.  Most people go through the grieving process.  I would get a better understanding of what that process is.  Everyone has their own way of handling loss.  You are taking the first step in realizing that you are having a difficult time coping with it.  I would reach out to a therapist that has experience treatment patients with loss. I would also recognize that drinking and smoking are both substances that will not make depression or depressive thoughts any better.

Could a car accident add more problems to my posttraumatic stress disorder?

I have been diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder due to my military experiences. Not a year ago, I had a car accident. Could this experience add more problems?

https://counselchat.com/questions/could-a-car-accident-add-more-problems-to-my-posttraumatic-stress-disorder

trauma

Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHCAttorney & Licensed Mental Health Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/eric-str-m-jd-ma-lmhc

You are right on to recognize that the effects of trauma can be cumulative.  It is very possible that a car accident could lead to an increase in PTSD symptoms that were related to other traumatic experiences.If you have been deployed to a combat area, you are most likely eligible for free counseling services through the VA Vet Centers.  The Vet Center clinicians typically have a lot of experience working with military trauma. Here's a link to a directory of Vet Centers:http://www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.aspYour service and sacrifice is greatly appreciated.

Could a car accident add more problems to my posttraumatic stress disorder?

I have been diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder due to my military experiences. Not a year ago, I had a car accident. Could this experience add more problems?

https://counselchat.com/questions/could-a-car-accident-add-more-problems-to-my-posttraumatic-stress-disorder

trauma

Eric KollGold standard trauma therapy for adult Nerds, Geeks, Weirdos, and Misfits

https://counselchat.com/therapists/eric-koll

The short answer is yes ,with a "maybe" tagged on the end. Let me explain.  First off, thank you for serving our country. The vast majority of the population will never understand the sorts of experiences that military members have encountered. And we know that veterans suffer from PTSD at higher percentages than civilians. We also know that motor vehicle accidents are the most common cause of PTSD. My friend, you've been struggling, it seems. So it can be helpful to think of PTSD symptoms like a wave, or a series of waves. Sometimes the waves are larger and last for longer, and sometimes they're easier to manage. One of the most common ways for PTSD waves to be more challenging is due to something we call "avoidance." We avoid both internal things (thinking about the trauma, avoiding unpleasant emotions, etc...) but also external reminders (perhaps driving in a car, being in crowds, being around loud noises, people standing behind you, etc...). And the more we push that stuff away, the longer those waves stick around. Therefore trauma therapy usually involves confronting that avoidance in safe and protected ways to try to reteach your brain that even through something might feel upsetting, it doesn't mean that you're actually in danger. Let me give you an example. Lets say you avoid being in a crowd. Your PTSD wants to convince you that ALL crowds are dangerous. And, between you and me, we both know that there are some crowds that are ABSOLUTELY dangerous. If you're in a biker bar where people are smoking meth and throwing knives at dartboards...that's probably a pretty dangerous place to be. But maybe you don't hang out in biker bars. Maybe you're just trying to pick up your milk and eggs at the grocery store when your crowd-avoidance kicks in. Well those two environments are very different. COULD something dangerous happen in the grocery store? Yes. Is it LIKELY that you're in danger? Probably not. And so if you've worked through the PTSD from the military but then go through a car accident, it might be that some of those old avoidant patterns are popping back up. The good news, however, is that there are several different options (through the VA, Vet Center, or private counseling) that can help. Look for what's called an Evidence-Based Approach. These are things like Cognitive Processing Therapy, Prolonged Exposure Therapy, Written Exposure Therapy, or Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing. Your counselor can help you decide which might be the best approach for you. PTSD is very treatable. You don't have to suffer. Reach out to a qualified therapist.

Could a car accident add more problems to my posttraumatic stress disorder?

I have been diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder due to my military experiences. Not a year ago, I had a car accident. Could this experience add more problems?

https://counselchat.com/questions/could-a-car-accident-add-more-problems-to-my-posttraumatic-stress-disorder

trauma

Kennedy McLeanTrauma Specialist, Therapist in Private Practice

https://counselchat.com/therapists/kennedy-mclean

It depends on what you mean by problems however, a therapist who specializes in PTSD I can say it wouldn’t be uncommon to see an increase in PTSD symptoms or severity after something like a car accident. It is just adding trauma onto trauma. Sort of like kicking you when you are down, your body may not have the same resources to handle the car accident as it did at other times in your life. Hopefully that makes sense.

Could a car accident add more problems to my posttraumatic stress disorder?

I have been diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder due to my military experiences. Not a year ago, I had a car accident. Could this experience add more problems?

https://counselchat.com/questions/could-a-car-accident-add-more-problems-to-my-posttraumatic-stress-disorder

trauma

RINDA SMITHDirector, Rinspire Life Coaching

https://counselchat.com/therapists/rinda-smith

A car accident can be scary and possibly trigger your symptoms of PTSD. It is good that you recognize the possibility of this occurring.Not everyone who experiences a car accident develops PTSD. The chances are definitely increased due to your prior diagnosis during military service.Some of the things to be mindful of for yourself include:1. Feelings of anxiety and increased heart rate when you're faced with reminders of the event.2. Feeling a little more on edge when you're driving.3.Being more watchful. You're more likely to scan your environment for potential sources of threats.4. Avoidance. Because of the anxiety that often follows an accident, it's natural that you may want to avoid some situations or experience hesitation at times.If you experience any of these symptoms or feel other symptoms of PTSD it would be advisable to seek help possibly through your local VA Medical Clinic or a private practitioner. There are certain modalities such as EMDR that can help with your symptoms.

Could a car accident add more problems to my posttraumatic stress disorder?

I have been diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder due to my military experiences. Not a year ago, I had a car accident. Could this experience add more problems?

https://counselchat.com/questions/could-a-car-accident-add-more-problems-to-my-posttraumatic-stress-disorder

trauma

David RouttPresident and Clinical Counselor at Totius Therapies

https://counselchat.com/therapists/david-routt

There are many types of traumas, and they certainly can compound on one another as you experience them. Without treating the traumas, or incidents where you felt there was a significant risk to your safety or that of others, there can be a cumulative effect. What we have learned in the mental health field from studying traumas, is that the body as a whole responds to these stressors in order to keep you safe during the events. If the body does not realize that it no longer needs to respond in this way because the event is now over, and then receives a trigger from a new event, it makes sense that the new event could cause additional issues. Both of these events can be addressed with the help of a Counselor. There are many Counselors that specialize in trauma inside and outside of the VA, so shop around if you are able and find someone that you connect with.

Could a car accident add more problems to my posttraumatic stress disorder?

I have been diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder due to my military experiences. Not a year ago, I had a car accident. Could this experience add more problems?

https://counselchat.com/questions/could-a-car-accident-add-more-problems-to-my-posttraumatic-stress-disorder

trauma

Christopher SmithPresident and Clinical Director, Seeking Shalom

https://counselchat.com/therapists/christopher-smith

A car accident can be a traumatic event. Especially,  if it was serious, you could have feared for your life, felt everythingvwas out of control and had normal reactions to an abnormal situation afterwards. This may or may not be related to the traumas that you experienced in the military. If it is then it is possible that you will see a direct effect in triggering off PTSD symptoms. Even if it didn't, it is possible that the complexity of the two situations will interact inside you to be a combined response. Having already been diagnosed with PTSD, this might be a good time to reconnect with the help system you had around military experiences and explore it a little bit about the new experience. The right exploration does not have to make things worse and can be a good source of prevention.

Could a car accident add more problems to my posttraumatic stress disorder?

I have been diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder due to my military experiences. Not a year ago, I had a car accident. Could this experience add more problems?

https://counselchat.com/questions/could-a-car-accident-add-more-problems-to-my-posttraumatic-stress-disorder

trauma

Mindy RossWe get there together one step at a time.

https://counselchat.com/therapists/mindy-ross

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can occur after any traumatic event where a real and present threat of harm or loss of life to yourself or others is present. Yes, a car accident could increase PTSD symptoms such as hyper-vigilance, anxiety, nightmares, re-playing the event, etc. Depending on the severity of the accident new triggers might exist. This is not to say that you cannot recover. Are you currently experiencing additional trauma symptoms?

How can I convince my mother to seek help for her obsessive-compulsive disorder?

My mother has quite severe, undiagnosed OCD, diagnosed posttraumatic stress disorder, and maybe other mental health issues. She is weeks away from moving in with me, my husband, and our three children. I love my mother, but once she gets within her own area, she begins to tape all cracks and crevasses. She cannot tolerate any smells.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-convince-my-mother-to-seek-help-for-her-obsessive-compulsive-disorder

trauma

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

One way to handle the situation is to develop willingness to tolerate her unusual habits.  Would you be willing to talk with your kids that grandma is sensitive to smells and her way to address this is to tape up cracks and crevasses?As long as her behavior isn't aggressive, harmful to anyone, unethical or immoral, and you'd like her to live with you, then someone both sides need to be happy with the living condition.Also, if you haven't already done so, negotiate with your mom that the common family areas are off limits to taping the the cracks.  As part of adjusting to living with your family it is reasonable to expect she respect common areas and to limit her taping habit to her private sections within the house.Approach the matter fairly and with the expectation to satisfy all the people who are affected.

How can I avoid having past traumatic experiences affect my present and future?

I have family issues, and my dad was both violent and a cheater.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-avoid-having-past-traumatic-experiences-affect-my-present-and-future

trauma

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

Sorry that your growing up years in the family were so unsafe and painful.Everyone has family legacy patterns of behavior and ways of handling emotions, handed down to them simply by living.All of what any child observes and how they are treated within their family context, creates their foundational expectations of others.The best way of releasing yourself form hurtful interaction patterns is by being aware of your own feelings and intuition within close relationships.If you have a similar sense of hurt or that something is wrong, yet in a familiar way, then most likely you are in a relational pattern similar to the negative ones in your family of origin.This realization moment is your chance to more deeply see your own original trauma and try different ways of responding to these similar key situations.This type of work takes a lot of repeated effort because trauma is deep and childhood trauma is attached to loving ones parents.Expect slow progress and expect more than a few tears.If it feels overwhelming then a therapist for guidance and support would be very beneficial to the work you'd be doing within yourself.Sending lots of good luck!

How can I avoid having past traumatic experiences affect my present and future?

I have family issues, and my dad was both violent and a cheater.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-avoid-having-past-traumatic-experiences-affect-my-present-and-future

trauma

Lynda MartensMarriage & Family Therapist, MSc, RP, RMFT

https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario

Hi New York, There's no way to keep your past from affecting your present and future, because it's a huge part of who we are. The GOOD news is, though, that the effect doesn't have to be negative. I'm met many people who have horrific pasts and it helps them know confidently, every day, what kind of person they want to be and what kind of world they want to live in, and it helps them make really great decisions. You can accept your past, integrate your traumas and move forward in a very different way. If you see negative ways in which your past affects you (and this is also common), you are wise to seek professional help. Without knowing more, it's impossible to give you a lot of direction here. Basically, our past creates emotional "bruises" that are touch on and triggered by present situations. But our reactions are often about more than just the present moment. I think you know that.I wish you the best as you sort it out.

How can I avoid having past traumatic experiences affect my present and future?

I have family issues, and my dad was both violent and a cheater.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-avoid-having-past-traumatic-experiences-affect-my-present-and-future

trauma

Margaret Van AckerenMA, LMFT

https://counselchat.com/therapists/margaret-van-ackeren-yorba-linda

I can imagine how incredibly difficult this must be for you. Having past traumatic experiences creap up on you without warning can be very scary and stressful. You may be suffering from symptoms related to post-traumatic stress disorder. Getting evaluated by a professional would be a good step to take next. By seeking treatment and having a therapist who you trust and can connect with, you will gain the ability to think about your experiences without it significantly interfering with your daily functioning. A therapist can also help you to develop new coping stragies to be used during recall of these experiences and help you to adopt healthy thought patterns. I would also recommend that you seek support from loved ones. Sometimes just talking about your experiences and associated feelings will alleviate some of the emotional troubles you are suffering from. Lastly, you may find meditation or mindfulness work to be of great benefit. Having the ability to live in the present moment should reduce the effects of your traumatic experiences interfering with recalling your past or looking forward to your future. I wish you all the best!

How can I avoid having past traumatic experiences affect my present and future?

I have family issues, and my dad was both violent and a cheater.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-avoid-having-past-traumatic-experiences-affect-my-present-and-future

trauma

Laura SalinasCertified Psychoanalytic Psychotherapist

https://counselchat.com/therapists/laura-salinas

In general, our past is always somewhat alive and does inform our present experiences.  All past experiences, both positive and negative are what have brought you where you are today, physically and emotionally.   That being said, your father's behavior does not have to define you or your future.  You have power over your life and your future.  By learning more about yourself, you can learn to incorporate your past into your present life, without being defined by past traumas.  The best way to grow and learn how to do this is to talk with someone about your experiences.  By talking about your past and present struggles with a trusted confidante or helping professional you will hopefully learn how to be at peace with your past.

How do I cope with losing a child?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-cope-with-losing-a-child

trauma

Sarah McIntyreSarah McIntyre, M.Ed., LPC

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sarah-mcintyre

As you already know, there is no easy answer.  Over time, I think we learn to live with the pain from such a loss, but it never goes away.  I would encourage you to seek out a grief support group or a therapist who specializes in grief and loss.I will just add that one thing that you can do is to create something meaningful from this profound experience.  This might mean connecting with others who are mourning, or creating beautiful in your child's memory.  Of course, the best ideas will come from you.

How do I let go of the abuse my dad showed me?

My dad beat and mentally abused me so badly that I can't function properly. Letting go of the past is important to moving on and getting better, but I’m terrified to get better because I don't even know who I am without the trauma. I've never gotten to be myself. I don't even know who I am.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-let-go-of-the-abuse-my-dad-showed-me

trauma

Sarah McIntyreSarah McIntyre, M.Ed., LPC

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sarah-mcintyre

I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling.  Getting to know yourself after a trauma (especially at the hands of a caregiver) and learning to trust yourself can feel terrifying.  I would encourage you to seek out a trauma therapist who can work with you slowly and at your pace.  You are not your trauma.  You are good and you are whole.  Please seek out the support of a therapist who sees that in you.

How do I get over a fear of pain during sex?

My boyfriend and I have a terrible sex life after three years of dating, and I don't know what to do. I have this lingering fear of pain during sex after having two partners previously who weren't careful. How can I stop projecting this onto my current boyfriend?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-get-over-a-fear-of-pain-during-sex

trauma

Sarah McIntyreSarah McIntyre, M.Ed., LPC

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sarah-mcintyre

Without knowing much about your situation, I would encourage you to seek out either a sex therapist who is trauma-informed or a trauma therapist who has knowledge about sexual concerns.  Even consensual sex can be experienced as an intrusion if a partner was not careful or insensitive to your pain.  It would be normal to have some difficulties with sex after such an incident.

How do I move on from almost being raped?

At a friend's house, we had some drinks and watched some television. He got up and went to bed. I felt sick. He came out to see if I was okay, and I said no. I said I wanted to go home, and he told me to come lay down. As I laid down on the bed, he started touching me. A friend called me, then I able to leave.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-move-on-from-almost-being-raped

trauma

Sarah McIntyreSarah McIntyre, M.Ed., LPC

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sarah-mcintyre

I am so sorry that this happened to you and am so glad that you were able to get away.  Your body is yours and yours alone.  I would highly recommend that you find a therapist who specializes in treating trauma in order to help you to heal from your ordeal.

How do I get over rape trauma syndrome?

I was kidnapped at fourteen and raped at gunpoint. The guy got six months. When the same thing happened with two "friends" at nineteen, I didn't even report it.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-get-over-rape-trauma-syndrome

trauma

Sarah McIntyreSarah McIntyre, M.Ed., LPC

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sarah-mcintyre

Wow, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you.  My heart goes out to you.  Please find a therapist who specializes in working with PTSD.  Brainspotting, Internal Family Systems Therapy, and Somatic Experiencing are all highly effective therapies for complex interpersonal trauma.  If you are interested in reading about trauma from a compassionate and scientific perspective I highly recommend Bessel van der Kolk's The Body Keeps the Score.

How do I deal with my trauma?

I was a victim of an incident. I've been made fun of and have been beating myself up for it because I don't feel anyone honestly believes me. There are so many other factors I deal with on a daily basis. I ignore my problems when I'm with my friends, but it’s scary when I’m alone.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-deal-with-my-trauma

trauma

Richie (Yerachmiel) DonowitzExperienced - Compassionate- Measurable Results

https://counselchat.com/therapists/richie-yerachmiel-donowitz

As you seemed to have learned, the impact will not just "go away". Treatment of trauma is like surgery, it requires a skillful clinician to help resolve it. While you are contemplating getting help, you can focus on calming techniques like meditation and yoga. They will aid you when you begin the therapeutic process.

How do I deal with my trauma?

I was a victim of an incident. I've been made fun of and have been beating myself up for it because I don't feel anyone honestly believes me. There are so many other factors I deal with on a daily basis. I ignore my problems when I'm with my friends, but it’s scary when I’m alone.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-deal-with-my-trauma

trauma

Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, BC-TMH, CCTP, CCHI tailor my therapeutic approach to each client's strengths and goals

https://counselchat.com/therapists/lauren-ostrowski-ma-lpc-ncc-bc-tmh-cctp-cch

I'm glad you have some time when you're not thinking about your trauma when you're with your friends.As far as feeling scared when you are alone, I'm not sure if you are referring to having flashbacks or thoughts on what happened to you or reminders in the environment around you or something else.One thing that might help is to find a bead or a rock that is smooth that you can hold onto or rub against your hand or fingers. Think of a time when you felt safe, comfortable, happy – basically a positive and safe moment – while holding onto the rock. Then, when you have scary thoughts, you can hold on to the rock and remember the happier place. Try to associate as many happy and safe moments with the rock as you can.

Can hypnosis allow me to recall trauma from 35 years ago?

I know I was molested as a child, but I have no memory of it.

https://counselchat.com/questions/can-hypnosis-allow-me-to-recall-trauma-from-35-years-ago

trauma

Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, BC-TMH, CCTP, CCHI tailor my therapeutic approach to each client's strengths and goals

https://counselchat.com/therapists/lauren-ostrowski-ma-lpc-ncc-bc-tmh-cctp-cch

I'm not sure that I have the answer to your question, but I can tell you that it would be helpful to talk with a certified hypnotist. There are a list of them here: http://www.natboard.com/index_files/Page548.htm. You also may want to talk to someone who specializes in EMDR. This stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing and it is a specific trauma treatment. I am not trained in this particular method, but my understanding is that it does not require a lot of knowledge of the origin of the trauma before being started.

How can I get therapy for posttraumatic stress disorder without any money or insurance?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-get-therapy-for-posttraumatic-stress-disorder-without-any-money-or-insurance

trauma

Sonya WilsonLicensed Professional Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sonya-wilson

Check with your local non-profit agencies.  I am sure there are programs which provides services for others in the same financial position as you.  Many have sliding scale fees based on your income which can be $0.

How can I get therapy for posttraumatic stress disorder without any money or insurance?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-get-therapy-for-posttraumatic-stress-disorder-without-any-money-or-insurance

trauma

Cory Ian Shafer LPCPsychotherapist, Jungian, Hypnotherapy

https://counselchat.com/therapists/cory-ian-shafer-lpc

This can be tough to do in this money-driven crazy world where many therapists are not taking cases pro-bono anymore and quite often charge exorbitant prices for sessions, however I would ask potential therapists if they do take any cases on pro-bono, I usually reserve some hours for people who simply have no finances but need help, there are still some that do, if your ex-military you can look at "Give and Hour" which is an hour a week for ex-service members, often times you can look to your local pastor, minister or priest (there are still some good ones out there) to help with finding or providing help to you, there are free hotlines you can call that are staffed by knowledgeable people that cost nothing, lastly you may look into getting state insurance which would enable someone to take you on.Hope this Helps, C

How can I get therapy for posttraumatic stress disorder without any money or insurance?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-get-therapy-for-posttraumatic-stress-disorder-without-any-money-or-insurance

trauma

Candice Conroy, LMHCFind relief from anxiety, depression, and trauma.

https://counselchat.com/therapists/candice-conroy-lmhc

Depending on where you are located, you may want to consider calling 2-1-1. It is a resource hotline that can help provide you with referrals for therapists or clinics in your area who may offer pro-bono services. When going through the list of referrals they provide you with, you can call around and see what types of treatment they offer for PTSD and make a list so you can do your own research before deciding what you think will be the best fit for you. There are several different types of trauma therapy, but some of the most common include cognitive processing therapy and EMDR in case you'd like to research them and get more information.

How can I get therapy for posttraumatic stress disorder without any money or insurance?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-get-therapy-for-posttraumatic-stress-disorder-without-any-money-or-insurance

trauma

Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHCAttorney & Licensed Mental Health Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/eric-str-m-jd-ma-lmhc

You may have some options for low-cost or free counseling.1) There may be free counseling services available in you area. You could try an Internet search for "free counseling" + the name of your community. In addition, in many communities your can dial 211 for access to information about many free services.2) if you are a military veteran you maybe eligible for free counseling through the VA, the Vet Center, or the Soldiers Project.  You can get more information here:http://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/vamentalhealthgroup.asphttp://www.vetcenter.va.gov/https://www.thesoldiersproject.org

How can I get therapy for posttraumatic stress disorder without any money or insurance?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-get-therapy-for-posttraumatic-stress-disorder-without-any-money-or-insurance

trauma

Christopher SmithPresident and Clinical Director, Seeking Shalom

https://counselchat.com/therapists/christopher-smith

Depending on the source of your traumatic experience, there may be ways to get free treatment to help you. For example, if your experience was related to your military service, the VA may be able to assist you. If your experience is related to 9/11 and you meet certain criteria, there are ways to get free help. In many states, if you are the victim of a crime, there is a victim's assistance fund that may cover costs of this treatment. Basically, start with the traumatic event(s) you have experienced and move forward from there.

How can I have a normal sex life with my significant other when I keep having triggers from past sexual abuse?

I'm fine when we start becoming intimate, but out of nowhere, I will get a flashback of what happened to me in the past. I start hysterically crying and freaking out when my boyfriend obviously has done nothing to hurt me.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-have-a-normal-sex-life-with-my-significant-other-when-i-keep-having-triggers-from-past-sexual-abuse

trauma

Rebecca WongRelationship Therapist & Connectfulness Consultant

https://counselchat.com/therapists/rebecca-wong

Have you sought the support of a therapist really qualified in working through sexual trauma? It can take some work, but healing is possible. If you feel able to, it may also help to open a dialogue with your boyfriend about what you need from him when you have these flashbacks. Let him know what some helpful responses may be.

How can I have a normal sex life with my significant other when I keep having triggers from past sexual abuse?

I'm fine when we start becoming intimate, but out of nowhere, I will get a flashback of what happened to me in the past. I start hysterically crying and freaking out when my boyfriend obviously has done nothing to hurt me.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-have-a-normal-sex-life-with-my-significant-other-when-i-keep-having-triggers-from-past-sexual-abuse

trauma

Candice Conroy, LMHCFind relief from anxiety, depression, and trauma.

https://counselchat.com/therapists/candice-conroy-lmhc

Sexual intimacy can be very triggering for survivors even when it is both wanted and consensual.  You may want to consider seeing a therapist who specializes in trauma to work through the abuse if you have not already done so. Often times triggers still hold such a powerful effect when the emotions related to the abuse  have not been fully processed.  In the meantime, you may want to consider coming up with a Safe Word to let your partner know that you are being triggered or to communicate your physical boundaries to him.  Often times, the experience of communicating  your physical boundaries to your partner, having those boundaries respected and validated, and having a partner who is understanding and  willing to engage in intimacy in such a way that does not violate your physical boundaries  can reinforce a sense of safety with him.

How can I unblock my memories?

As a child, my parents injured my brother, so they went to prison. I was there when he had gotten hurt, but I can't seem to remember. I also can't remember being with them quite well. It's a blur.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-unblock-my-memories

trauma

Perry Griffin M.Ed., LPCA, NCCCross Cultural Counseling

https://counselchat.com/therapists/perry-griffin-m-ed-lpca-ncc

It's important to know that there are counselors who are trained in working with survivors of trauma and you can get help.  The "blur" in your memories is your brain's attempt to protect you from the experiences in your past.  To recover them can be a slow process done by a trained professional that you trust.  When you are ready and feel safe, those memories can be recovered and can be integrated with other memories.  This will help to lessen the potency of the memory, help to make sense of what has happened, and allow you to begin the healing process.  Check into therapist who are trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing).

How can I unblock my memories?

As a child, my parents injured my brother, so they went to prison. I was there when he had gotten hurt, but I can't seem to remember. I also can't remember being with them quite well. It's a blur.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-unblock-my-memories

trauma

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

Sorry to hear of having witnessed violence within your family when you were very young.Your blocked memories are a self-protection from the enormous emotional pain and feeling de-stabilized by realizing that the people whom you expected to trust, are harmful.Already you are at the first step, which is to know that memories exist about the disturbing events concerning your brother.Probably the best way of finding your way back to those times, is by paying attention to all of who you are today.The more intently and with loving interest you are able to notice yourself, you will be gradually dissolving the layers of protective thoughts about intimacy being unsafe.Basically, you will be teaching yourself how to slowly trust yourself.Since trust is what was violated while you were young, you will be developing a new model for trusting yourself and others.Then, more of the memories of your painful and overwhelming times will make themselves available to you.They are simply waiting for you to be strong and trusting enough within yourself, to tolerate them!

My father has always been horrible to me

My suppose-to-be father told me to go find my real dad. We haven't been getting along since I was a teenager. If I said one thing that he thought was wrong, I always got degraded. He never said “I love you.” He never gave us hugs. He’s always called me horrible names. I feel he's an evil man with no feelings.

https://counselchat.com/questions/my-father-has-always-been-horrible-to-me

trauma

Lynda MartensMarriage & Family Therapist, MSc, RP, RMFT

https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario

Hi Louisiana, You got it right...he's "supposed to be" your father. It's tough enough being adopted (unless I'm reading it wrong, I think you're adopted); what you don't need is to be verbally abused by someone who's supposed to love and protect you. I don't know how old you are (past teen years though), or where your mom is, but I bet there are other people in your life who treat you differently. It's your right to spend your time with the people who love you properly. That's a really important part of learning how to be happy...carefully choosing who's going to be in your life. It's tricky to put emotional distance between you and your supposed-to-be father, but it's possible...physical distance (avoid him if you don't trust you'll be treated with respect), and emotional distance (feeling less connected to and affected by his relationship disability). I think you're already doing that part because you don't blame yourself for his words, which is wonderful. I don't know if he's evil (although I believe evil exists), but he may be incapable of loving properly, or lacking empathy, as you suggest. A good therapist can support you in these goals. I wish you the best in your growth as an independent adult. :)

Can implanted thoughts be reversed at all?

An organization admitted to implanting thoughts in my head with technologies. The study was to implant a fantasy other people are having, but to me, it's a nightmare. I lost my kids, my job, and all that. I was an unwilling participant. I no longer trust a therapist. I'm too afraid to go under hypnosis or anything.

https://counselchat.com/questions/can-implanted-thoughts-be-reversed-at-all

trauma

Ben BraaksmaMental Health Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma

Given your experience of being imposed upon against your will, and all the personal and professional loss that has come since, your fear of what will happen if you undergo treatment and trust a therapist is understandable. There is no technique or pill that can guarantee these thoughts will go away or be reversed, however, there are things that you can do which may help you to change your relationship to the thoughts and to the distress that they cause. I understand that working with a therapist sounds risky, given your experiences, and at the same time a good therapist may be a beneficial resource in helping you deal with the intrusive thoughts, cope with and alleviate the stress that they create, and perhaps even lead to the alleviation of the thoughts themselves. A therapist may also be able to help you discover strategies to work towards any goals you have around reconnecting with your children and working again. If therapy feels too unsafe at the moment, I would recommend looking into workbooks on how to deal with intrusive thoughts and coping with stress. Some popular approaches that you may want to look into are mindfulness techniques, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. You may even be able to find some of these resources at a library, if affordability is an obstacle.

How do I remember and deal with things I did as a kid?

I did some horrible sexual things as a kid and I regret everything. Can someone help me cope with myself? Can someone help me remember my past?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-remember-and-deal-with-things-i-did-as-a-kid

trauma

Danielle AlvarezLicensed Professional Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/danielle-alvarez

I'm very sorry to hear this. Hypnosis can be a valuable tool that a trained therapist can use to bring back suppressed memories. However, keep in mind that hypnosis doesn't work for everyone. I think regardless, speaking with a therapist about your sexual issues would be beneficial. It seems like you have experienced some painful experiences in the past and may need help dealing with them in order to move forward. In addition, if past memories do resurface a trained therapist will be able to help you cope with them as they arise. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you receive the treatment that you deserve.

How do I get my partner to stop verbally abusing me?

Every time my partner gets angry for anything, she takes it out on me. Nothing I do is right, and once she's mad, she calls me all kinds of names and is verbally abusive. She says it isn’t abuse, it’s just angry verbal bashing, and that it’s different. It gets worse each time. The names are very vulgar now.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-get-my-partner-to-stop-verbally-abusing-me

domestic-violence

Katrina Whitehead MA, LPCCTo provide hope and healing to individuals

https://counselchat.com/therapists/katrina-whitehead-ma-lpcc

I’m glad that you are reaching out for help. What you are going though sounds overwhelming and  exhausting. Here is a link that talks about the signs of an abuse relationship if you are questioning  whether or not you are experiencing an abusive relationship https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htmThis maybe a lot of information to take in so if you feel overwhelmed I would encourage you to talk to a therapist.  Also every state has a domestic non-profit that can assist you with support or resources. If you are struggling to find one in your area I can help you. They can help you safety plan and give additional information that might be of assistance.  In abusive relationships, unfortunately there is nothing you can do to change your partners behavior. It is up to her to make that decision.  A lot of time in abusive relationships  asserting  your boundaries can put you at risk for more abuse. I would encourage you to use your gut in this situation because you know your relationship better then anyone else.  The best thing for you to do is to keep yourself emotionally and physically safe. I would encourage against couples counseling because it can also become unsafe in an abusive relationship. You are making a big step in looking for help.

How do I get my partner to stop verbally abusing me?

Every time my partner gets angry for anything, she takes it out on me. Nothing I do is right, and once she's mad, she calls me all kinds of names and is verbally abusive. She says it isn’t abuse, it’s just angry verbal bashing, and that it’s different. It gets worse each time. The names are very vulgar now.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-get-my-partner-to-stop-verbally-abusing-me

domestic-violence

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

Ultimately it is only your partner who can decide whether to stop name calling or not.I would take very seriously that she doesn't show any willingness to hear and understand your point of view.In a relationship in which one person claims the right to verbally abuse the other, there isn't much genuine care and trust going on at all.It is never safe to open your heart to her since you can't tell in advance if you'll be treated with kindness or bashing.Think seriously how possible it is for you to enjoy your relationship if your partner is unwilling to accommodate your feelings.If the two of you are unable to agree on terms or discuss the problem as a mutual one, not just your problem, then you may wish to withdraw from the relationship.

How do I get my partner to stop verbally abusing me?

Every time my partner gets angry for anything, she takes it out on me. Nothing I do is right, and once she's mad, she calls me all kinds of names and is verbally abusive. She says it isn’t abuse, it’s just angry verbal bashing, and that it’s different. It gets worse each time. The names are very vulgar now.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-get-my-partner-to-stop-verbally-abusing-me

domestic-violence

Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, BC-TMH, CCTP, CCHI tailor my therapeutic approach to each client's strengths and goals

https://counselchat.com/therapists/lauren-ostrowski-ma-lpc-ncc-bc-tmh-cctp-cch

One thing you could try is to talk to your partner when she's not angry about the following:If she's angry, maybe she can talk with you about what she is angry about rather than calling you names.If she gets angry and then calms down a little while later, maybe one of you can take a timeout in the discussion and set a time when you will come back to it.Discuss what it is that you find acceptable for you to do during an argumentDiscuss what it is that you find unacceptable for you to do during an argumentDiscuss what is acceptable for her to do during an argumentDiscuss what is on acceptable for her to do during an argumentYour partner can answer the same questions related to herself and you.I can't emphasize enough how important it is to have this discussion when there is not an argument going on. Perhaps you could mention that you would like to talk about something that is really important and see if the current time is a good time. If not, consider when in the next 24 to 48 hours would be a good time.It may also be helpful to discuss these ideas with a local therapist. The therapist may also be able to help both of you figure out where the anger is coming from and where she has learned to react this way.If it is abuse, it may be even more difficult to have these important discussions. It may be helpful for you to see a local therapist by yourself to assess things like physical and emotional safety.