Datasets:

jquiros

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suicide

like 6

I have never had this sort of urge before.I have never had this urge to take something across my wrist, or swallow pills, or jump off something high. I just can't take the mental anguish anymore. Everyday I wake up stressed and worry. My sleep sucks anymore and I don't have an appetite. Things I used to enjoy, I can't stand to do them for longer than 30 minutes anymore. I've always been depressed for as long as I can remember. This just feels different though. I want it all to stop. I would turn to drugs and alcohol, but I can't even afford those. They only thing keeping me here is my family and girlfriend. If I were to do it, I can't stand to think the hurt they would go through. I just don't want to deal with the stress anymore. I want to sit down and not worry about something for one damn minute. I have no sexual urges anymore as a result of anxiety and depression. The outlook for my future is bleak and I feel, hopeless. I have thought of different ways to do it, and I feel like bleeding out is the most sure way and painless. Pass-out from blood-loss and my heart can't revive it's self without blood. Anyways thanks for taking the time to read. I know everyone has their own problems. This just feels therapeutic writing on here. I guess I need help, but I don't want to get any. whywhodo8.

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I’m doneI’ve been kicked out two days in a row, nothing is good enough and I’m tired of my kids looking at me like “I’m sorry dad, you know mom” I’ve had it and I just want to fucking die.

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Oh,hey person on Reddit😎 What’s the difference between you and a pair of glasses? • • • Glasses seem to sit a bit higher on my face (ᗒᗣᗕ) (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞ ^(istg I’m not gonna stop posting these)

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i dont wanna be here anymorei dont wanna do this anymore i want it all to stop and im so tired i just wanna sleep for a very very long time

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Love is the only thing that gave this struggle any meaning. Without love, there's no reason to endure. Even if it gets better, what's it for if there's no one to share it with?My mom really wants me to hold on. I imagine my dad and siblings would hurt for a while. My grandma might die (I have always been her favorite for some reason). But why should that matter? It's sick that they think they are happier keeping me alive, in misery. I want to check myself into a psych ward for 2 weeks, but other than staying alive cuz my mom keeps telling me to...I don't know why I should. My life as never been "good" or "easy" or "fun." I'm not waiting around for it to get "good" or "fun" because I'm beyond that now. I know all that is empty and meaningless. It seems like such a waist to put in all the effort it takes to overcome this, only to be able to live apathetically. Why go to work? why pay my bills? why eat? why shower? if I'm not having any fun? When the emotions and the thoughts pass, I still won't be having any fun because I either 1) can't appreciate me and my life on my own (i.e. without the partner who I thought was my soul mate), OR 2) there is no incentive to put up with this shitty world and the people in it on a daily basis. I don't want this world or this life--I have legit been trying to run away from it since I was 12...17 years later and I still want to run away, and now I don't have high school, lost virginity, drug experimentation, college, love, starting a family, professional career, or any of those milestones to look forward to. There's no reason to keep getting up with the sun.

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What will you do in this situation? It’s night and you decide to go to sleep. When you close your eyes and fall asleep, you see black you open your eyes but all you can see is black. you can’t move but then you see something: “Bethesda game studios” “presents” Your memories start to flow in... You see that you are in a cart moving in a forest, you see someone riding a horse that pushed the cart, you see more people in the cart “The Elder Scrolls V” You remember that title it was a game from 2011! “SKYRIM” Yeah that’s the one. Someone: “Hey you finally awake”...

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It’s time to take a fuckin step back. I was just on Tik tok(shoot me ik) when I came across a video of a girl telling people to slash 3 tires with 1 knife and slash the last 1 with a different knife to get him done for fraud. Even if this is a joke some psycho is deadass gunna do this. Then she says to give him nicotine gum without him knowing so when he’s away from you he feels like shit. LIKE BRO NICOTINE ISNT SOMETHING YOU FUCK ABOUT WITH. FUCKIN END OF THIS SHIT SHOULDNT HAVE TO BE SAID. So now I’m thinking, guys have to worry about false rape allegations, being set up for FRAUD, and being secretly addicted to a highly addictive substance. Bro idc if this was a joke some psycho out there is deadass gunna do this and who did they get the idea from? YOU, YOU PSYCHO BANSHEE BITCH. ID RATHER HAVE ME DICK POKED WITH RUSTY NEEDLES THAN DATE YOUR TOXIC ASS. Andddd just as the fuckin cherry on top, She tells people how to get rid of hickeys..... SO YOU FINNA CHEAT GET THIS DUDE ADDICTED TO NICOTINE AND FRAME HIM FOR FRAUD AND CHEAT??? TL;DR: people are telling others to frame people for fraud and to get them addicted to nicotine so there partner won’t leave, and how to get rid of hickeys.

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I feel ready, but I’m not brave.I’m ready to go now. I feel it... I imagine this is what older people feel like. I feel like I have lived this long life but that’s because it’s been hard...I have PTSD I’m a pussy though cuz I never went to war... just with myself and my life. Every time I cry it bring back every other time I’ve cried and every bad feeling that came with that crying... so whenever I do it ... it goes out of control.... I’m in a relationship thing and I’m not sure if I’m being abused or if I’m abusive..l it’s probably both but when I say we should separate I’m a evil person.. it’s not like he wants the same life I want.... I’m not even sure why I’m writing this .... I’m definitely not going to be here in 3 years...I have this feeling that me trying to get a second degree and a better career will still not work out in my favor as it didn’t with the associates in business....or working in mental health. I want to do it right now but I’m so scared but I need to be with my grandmother... she loved me the best and I’ve missed her this past 4 years. She left me here like this though so I’m mad...oh and on top of everything I’m a black female... HAHAHAHAH what a wonderful life to be living now at days.... google says black woman are the least desirable of all women and we still fall behind Asian men on this spectrum...my dad has never been a good parent to me because I made a bad decision to not live with him at 12 and I have like no friends of my race because I’m not the average so I can even find any sameness in my race.... I feel like I have to prove I’m black enough to receive black love and community.it makes me anxious if I can’t afford to tip because I am black my hair fell out too ... I could keep going but I’m feeling like crying now and I’m supposed to wait at least 3 more years... but idk if I can that long.... maybe I’ll be brave someday

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︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎

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Wake up, browse reddit, watch porn, contemplate suicide, repeatMan fuck this shit. People say it gets better, no it gets worse. Legitimately considering trying to stab myself in the jugular. I was sexually abused and mutilated and no one cares. People laugh at my problems call me crazy. Theres to much contradiction here. Hurt me, tell me its no big deal, tell me i'll get over it, laugh at me. Either kill me or care for me I can't stand this inbetween flip floppy bull shit. Its torture. Everyone would be better without me anyway I'm just a problem generator. It hurts so much. If theres a god he knows no mercy.

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Posting everyday until i get my first kiss day 239 Man fuck my life man fuck it

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My suicidality made me go crazyI keep on internally laughing I can't stop it when I'm very down I can barely close my eyes and I keep on laughing internally I am very fucked up I think I might be crazy but I am extremely afraid to get diagnosed as I keep having flashbacks of the day that I was held captive in a hospital it was so horrible but at the same time I really deserved it I can't do this longer help me

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It's just one more monthHey, Was planning to post in /r/depression, but this felt more appropriate. To sum up, I'm transgender, 20 years old, extremely severe depression, no treatment. Went off one of my anti-depressants a month ago due to side effects, asked my doctors office for an emergency appointment. Still haven't heard from them. Things are worse than ever. Today I got out of bed, went straight into the bath and fell asleep. Five hours later I got up and went back to bed and slept until my mother got home. After she walked the dogs, she asked me what I had for lunch. I considered lying, but I didn't have the energy. I told her that I had a piece of old stale bread for lunch, which was the truth. She got angry that I wasn't eating properly, not upset, not sad, angry. She then got angry I didn't empty the dishwasher. After a while, she came back to my room and told me that she wasn't cooking dinner for me if I stayed in bed. I couldn't bring myself to respond, I just laid there. She's currently eating dinner, and I'm in my room still. In a month I meet with the trans care people again. This time they might tell me that they've decided to treat me. Probably not though, it's been 2 years and they haven't moved a step in that direction. I know that I would probably feel better if I actually managed to see my doctor and get another med. I know I probably wouldn't be spending the entire day sleeping and/or thinking about ending it. I can't bring myself to do anything, though. I can't pick up the phone. I can't eat. I don't know how to keep climbing out of this ever deepening hole.

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I need to feel someone else’s skin against mineAnd soon. Otherwise I swear to God I’m gonna end my life. Reading posts where guys complain about the impossibility of attracting girls because of their supposed bad looks makes feel even more worthless because I know girls like me. They look at me all the time, I’ve missed millions of opportunities. But I feel so unable to reach out. Like I’m trapped inside myself for having been isolated for so long. I hate myself so much. My life is a complete failure. Sometimes it occurs to me in a flash that the idea of ending my life is an aberration as the gift of life is such a sacred and gorgeous thing, and I mean I really feel it in a deep way. Also I’m fully aware of my potential (which is in part why I despise myself so much). But in moments like now (and they’re getting more and more frequent and intense) all I can think of is my pain. The lack of socializing, physical affection and sex leads to a very real physical pain at this point. I feel it all over my body. Like a wave that envelopes me and ends up focusing right in my heart, like a frozen fist clenching suddenly around it. And believe me I’m not letting myself go. I’m fighting with all I got. I’ve quit smoking (both cigarettes and weed), stopped fapping and watching porn, I exercize daily, meditate, take cold showers, go for walks, got back to photography, which was a big hobby of mine, and started seeing a therapist. But no matter the efforts and although I’m getting positive results in some regards, the loneliness is just too fuckin’ unbearable. And everyday, little by little, I’m losing my will to live. I end up crying in my bed almost every night.

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What are some good Halloween movies? Filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler

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I can't do this anymore 19m, no friends, i failed at university (i chose the wrong faculty last year, i don't know what to do now) and i suffer from a rare disease (which can't be cured) too. i am sorry, i just want to end this. please, help

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Can't Sleep. Nausea due to Anxiety. Why are you awake?I'm having this horrible nausea, almost throw-upy feeling due to anxiety and so, I'm unable to sleep. I was very suicidal today due to me being super stressed out about my life. I'm anxious because I've lost a volunteer opportunity and my car got hit and ran and now I have to see if I can fix the dent. Not only that, I have to focus on university. I am in just in so much physical and emotional pain that I wish I could go into a deep sleep forever, and I just wouldn't have to deal with life anymore. I really wish I didn't fuck up so much all the time. I have such a wonderful boyfriend who is keeping me level but at the same time I just really want to leave the world. I am really tired.

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Sad Hours For Me I usually just ignore my emotions but people are really getting to me. I'm also not great at expressing my emotions in any situation. I know it's all jokes, but it's just digging its way into my brain.

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Awards are stupid. Stop. Awards are bad cause they cost money, and money sucks, stop award or money gone. Awards are bad, and it should be gone And that's my talk on how they are bad, thank you for letting me be CEO of Fortnite Skins inc.

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Anyone in 30s 40s on up...Please tell me what keeps u going in life?

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It's not worth it in the endMaybe it's because i'm off my meds and my depression has come back, but i don't see the point in living. Why try so hard only to die in the end? Life is so insignificant. I don't care anymore. I took pills only to humor others. i'm just here to humor others. I don't know if my plan will be successful. I guess it would depend on how far out i can swim while heavily intoxicated.

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Why didn't you kill yourself?A lot of people talk about the reasons why they want to commit suicide… why did you choose to live instead of killing yourself?

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Is there some sort of checklist I can use to make sure everything is taken care of beforehand?I've got around a month before I go, and I want to make sure it's as easy for everyone as possible since I live a state away.

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Random Pop quiz kids What kill the dinosaurs?

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I demand validation like a child.My problems are insignificant, I'm just a weak fucking piss baby. I'm posting here but I know I'll never really kill myself because I'm such a big bitch. I've always been a pussy about pain, I always given up or taken the easy route when the going gets tough. Half assed attempts in the past, they're right when they say it's for attention, at least in my case. A cry for help, but what the fuck do I need to be saved from? I've got it so easy I don't even know. Am I just every fucking teenager or what? 19 or 18 now, I've actually forgotten, but it's been like this since elementary. Why can't I just be fucking happy? Why do I have to feel like every day is like pulling teeth? I've tried so hard to just pickup my bootstraps, just fake it till you make it. I feel like at some point "grin and bear it" turned into "bear it like you're fucking Jesus dragging the cross". I'm just wasting everyone's time. I've always hated reading other people's long text walls of woes because it always seems like, "what the fuck can I contribute? This person is in such a worse place than I am, what advice could I give other than platitudes and bullshit?" I've never posted anything like this before, but I always come back to the sub, read posts, debate commenting, and think "why?" I always figured I was just some fucking kid with nothing of value to contribute, no reason for even stating my ego inflating opinions. Why should I contribute my say? Who would care? I'm just a horrible, miserable and confused fucking person. I can't just force myself to be happy and trying to "attain" happiness, like its some fucking commodity, is a fantasy pipe dream you see in only in stories. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. Trying to live day to day just isn't working out. Why bother with fucking anything anymore?

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Needing helpNot that people give a shit, which is cool and all just need to vent. I got a text from my gf, or former gf at this point Idk, who has ignored me for the past month and all that went through my mind was damnit what does this bit*h want now, she was my best friend but 🤷‍♂️, and I legitimately can't handle my emotions being played with on a wim because she is board and lonely. She constantly wants to chat when it is convenient for her. It's fucking with my already screwed mental health issues and sending me back down the spiral into being suicidal again because I can't handle her shit and mine at the same time. Besides she's the only one I have right now because none of my friends are responding, its like I don't exist anymore so I might as well make it so I don't.

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Feel better if you’re rejected I literally just have two simple points. 1- If they said something that made you feel even worse like ‘ew’, then you should be glad they did because you’ve dodged a bullet. 2- Just think for a minute: why do you care that you’ve been rejected? Probably because now it’s gonna be hella awkward when you see them again, right? But if you don’t care you got rejected, it’s not gonna be awkward

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Daily free hugs #10 Free hugs for men, women, dogs, cats, for everybody and everything in this universe

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Bruh I wanna try sushi so fucking bad That looks absolutely delicious and I’m pretty hungry rn. Oh I wanna try it so bad but I know nothing about it or any good places around me

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I need help.People false accusing me of being a rapist, and God knows what else. I just wanna die, so I came here to seek help. Either help dying or help living, I just don't know what to do. I seriously need help.

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My brother wants to kill himselfHi, I’m 16 with a twin year old brother who has had multiple breakouts these past years discussing killing himself. I want to be emotionally strong and supportive to help him because I’m too scared to lose my best friend. What do I do please can somebody help? He mentions how suicide isn’t selfish and how it’s just a way to “reset life” and that nobody should be upset. I apologize if this is messy I’m just very conflicted right now and don’t know what to do.

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Since Lightsabers were recently proven to be possible, could the same be said for plasma-based blasters? It may sound impossible, but we said the *same* thing about Lightsabers.

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Trans "people" don't deserve rights They don't need rights, they need help. Stop trying to enable mental illness. That's all.

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Having a race prefrence in dating is not racist I mean im white and I would rather date an asian than a white girl does that make me racist against my own race?!?!?

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Feels like I have nothing to live for anymore.I feel dead already. The only thing that's stopping me is the fact that it's going to hurt and that I may have potential to survive this all until the end and live a good life with somebody who loves/cares for me. I highly doubt that though. My mother has verbally abused me (and almost physically) since I was a young teen, about 13-14 years old. Ever since I was that age she has been constantly talking about financial issues, my Dad, our broken family, negative complaints about herself hating life and other bad toxic things, basically manipulating my train of thought all this time and self-esteem. I feel like an alien among other people my age because I have grown up so sheltered and uneducated. I feel like I'm wasting my time and there's nothing out there for me. I hate my family, I think they're all disgusting people. I hate my parents, especially my mother. I have like one friend and I most often hate her because she's younger than me and we don't match as people anymore, then one other friend I sleep with of whom will probably drop me due to my boring life and lack of care for things these days. ​ I literally feel like this year is it for me. I'm a burden and I've been told all I'm good for is child support, because I'm a dependent and my mother just wants the money. I wonder if I killed myself if she'd even get anything anymore. ​ I don't know what I'm saying, I guess. I just want to die. I am so bored with this life, I wish I was dead already.

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Had shotgun off safety, in my mouth today.I'm a targeted individual. I've been tortured, followed (from city to city), slandered, attacked by every conceivable mental torture possible. Hearing voices, seeing holograms, robbed of intellectual and physical property. Too long to list. Add to that my family always being assholes to me because they think I'm crazy. I also bottle up all the things about them that hurt me and drink to feel better, then eventually tell them off. My brother beat my face for a solid 3 minutes, twice within 15 minutes, for saying shot that was true but he didn't like. That was the day before Thanksgiving 2017. I spent the next three days in bed thinking of how I was going to kill myself. Nobody checked on me. Now my mother and niece physically attacked me the other day, stole my phone and hid my car key. I lost my job. They think I'm making up what happens to me and the only thing really wrong with me is the drinking. My sister called the cops on me a few months ago for being suicidal and telling her off. I got a felon with a gun charge. They can give me 5 to 40 years in prison. I'm not going back to fucking prison. I've been before and can't stand being around convicts who actually belong there. And nobody ever apologized or feels any remorse for the things they do to me. So I was going to do it today but everyone was coming over tonight, I was trying to hurry but scared. I heard a noise, looked out the window, and it was my mom coming home from church. So I'm waiting until I know for sure one of my nieces or nephews won't be here when they find me.

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I feel so awful.I feel so lost in life. I feel hopeless. I just want to feel good. I hurt. I hurt inside. I feel like such an outsider. My vagina is defective. I wish I could have orgasms to feel better, but it just doesn’t happen. I’m in so much pain. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m deficient in every way. Sometimes I emotionally eat to feel better because I can’t find any other high to lift me up but that. I’ve gained weight that I’m trying to lose. I just want to cry.

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Can someone buy me sleeping pills and ship them to me so I can die. F14I live in New zealand, I don’t know where to get them, how to get them, or to get away with getting them. Life is so hard, I just want to end it all. I can’t hang myself but I definitely know I will be able to take pills. Someone please just help me die.

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Teens with Jobs How can this teen get or find a Job? I been looking for a while and I don't know what to do at this point I'm starting to give up ,and I don't want to give up. If there's any tips, anything you can give me ,any advice I'll be grateful. And if i do get a job, imma think the random people on reddit

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No one cares.I'm at the point where i have no freinds, parents don't care, and no hope of a romantic relationship because of low self esteem and confidence due to bipolar disorder. All the things I like to do alone are bad for my health. All I really want is for someone to care about my wellbeing. I've tried joining clubs and groups around my area; they all suck, and the places you go to make freinds attract the most annoying, antisocial people - even I wouldn't hang out with some of these people who can't formulate a complete sentence. Eveyone I know is having a great time - except for me. No one even bothers to like or comment on my facebook statuses anymore... which makes me seem even more of a loser. Please, is it too much to ask for one person?

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If anyone feeling sad hit me up. And by that I mean chat me and I will try to cheer you up. Empathize the word TRY.

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I cant live in this house anymoreAnd im ruining my familys life actually..... I need to move away from the house.. but I meed to live amongst people.... homeless... or somethinf.. or in a mental home... or assistant livi g as long as I go to treatments or someshit... Im crazy no help for me...

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I'm so tired and I feel like I don't even know myself.I'm so tired of the cycle of a coin flip to see if i'll be happy or miserable the next day. I self harmed today when I havent in weeks. I'm tired of feeling like a failure, burden, and a "leech" to my parents and friends. I'm tired of feeling like there's someone else controlling my emotions where they flip a switch from me feeling okay to miserable. I started therapy and It's only making me feel like more of a burden due to costs. I'm tired of my mind treating me as a bully, constant insults and telling me to kill myself. Im tired of having to write posts in r/suicidewatch.

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What would you buy at a school store? Im working on a project for school. I am helping set up a school store selling things we can 3d print. What would you buy that we can 3d print?

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Hey, anyone here to talk?I can't find a chat and my local suicide hotline won't pick up as it's 4:42 AM in the morning. I really need to just talk it out. My head is spinning as I write this and only want a hand to overcome this moment. I'm super scared to hurt myself.

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I just tried to kill myself, but I backed out at the last secondI'm 19, I've struggled with mental health issues my whole life, I think a lot of it stems from my mom abandoning me when I was younger. Around 7ish months ago I met a girl. I fell in love and I thought it was finally getting better. Two months ago we broke up. A week after that my grandma died. Around 30 mins ago I tied a bad around my head to off myself. I started to not be able to breath and at first I was okay with it. I was ready. But then I started to panic, I was scared and idk y. I cut the bag open what felt like right before I was about to pass out. I can't even off myself right. Maybe I'll use a gun next time. Why can't I even fucking kill my self right (this is a side account Bc one of my friends knows my main account)

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Anyone wanna talk? (F14) I’m kinda scared rn and need something to distract myself also please don’t be a fucking creep

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They say more than one waifu will ruin your laifu But I can’t decide between a dozen anime girls

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Told my parents I want to kill myself. They told me it’s just a phase and I’ll grow out of it. Might actually do it now.Please help

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Seeking interaction Hello there *insert Obi Wan meme here*. I'm Dani (pronounced Donnie) and I'm looking for people to talk to. My social life if find but I like meeting new people. I know this sounds creepy so I won't be offended if you (the reader) declines.

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“Suicide it too hard to commit”Watch me. Got a freshly sharpened 5 inch blade and a neck.

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I'm DoneEverything is horrible. I'm a broken mess. Everything that has gone wrong is my fault. I can't love myself. I can't tell anyone. I can't get help. I've fucked up everything so badly there's no hope in fix it. Time is an illusion. Life has no meaning. I've been battling my own death for 3 years. I'm a mistake. I'm a cosmic joke. I'm asexual. I can't do anything right. I'm non-binary agender. I can't do anything right. I'm bad and I know it's true. People try to help me an I push them away. I don't deserve your energy, because I'm a black hole. I'm tired all the time. I'm 19 and I failed my first year of college because I couldn't even get out of bed in the morning. Now I have debt. I have no job because I'm afraid of failing at that too. If I get a job and it goes horribly like everything else I wouldn't survive it. It's lose-lose situation. I FAILED. It's over. People trusted in me. People believed in me. And I FAILED. I'm a speck, on a smudge, on a particle, on a grain of sand, on a beach, among billions of beaches, so what does anything matter anyway. I'm done. I wish I'd never been conceived. I'm gonna fix that mistake. Fuck this reality. I hope it was all a simulation, because then it might make sense why my life has been such a sick cosmic joke. Goodbye everyone who knew me, but never knew me. You know nothing about me, and maybe that's all by design. This is it for me. I've had the rope for years. I'm done. Life is suffering. I'm killing myself. It's finally happening.

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Should I Stay?Or should I go? I'm so fucked up I'd be better off if I didn't exist

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Sick of everythingI'm suppose to go visit my friend this weekend who lives two hours away - and I keep thinking of the drove home about just ending it by aiming for a tree and hitting the gas. I can't stand everything right now. I just really want a reset button but I can't so I have to deal with it but I've been dealing with it for years and I can't take it anymore. It's one thing after another and it piles up.

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Really looking to have a real discussion about a lot of the issues I'm facingTonight is not necessarily a major crisis, so if you have limited time or attention then definitely direct it elsewhere, but I really want to talk to someone. Must be PM though, I want to keep the issues private

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Fuck this life. Fuck trying. Created this account just to say goodbye.Long time redditor, and lurker in suicide watch. I attempted suicide last year, pretty close to this time. Thought my life was falling apart...ha! I had no idea how bad it could get. I'm about to be evicted. I've lost out on two good paying jobs now. My girlfriend lives in another state, and is struggling hardcore herself...and I can't even support her. I have no family here. I have no family within 2000 miles. My ex wife won't even check on the kids, let alone give me child support. she's too busy snorting her money up her nose. I give up. I have nothing to sell. My vehicle is dying. I have no support from anyone. I just can't. I've failed at life.

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I can't go on any longerI'm so sick of this, so fucking sick of this. I actually hated my therapist and forced myself to see her because I'd get my medication and let it do its job. Stopped seeing her, I'll take someone else. She was cold and I felt like she really didn't give a fuck. I'll call my family doctor to see if he can prescribe me some stuff, because I had to stop my treatment. Ran out of pills. So many bottled up feelings inside of me. I want to put them out, ALL of them. I feel like I'm falling apart day by day, my creativity is blocked despite having plenty of ideas, I just can't get to do them. I can't confess to my best friend because I'm afraid I might lose her friendship, especially since she's got a boyfriend. I left many of my old friends because those assholes left me right when I needed them, and despite talking it out with them, I can't fucking go back to them like I used to. I met new people, but I can't get myself to truly go towards them. I don't want this anymore. I don't want to trust people, and have them care more about the death of a fucking idol than about their depressed friend. The true reason why I'm currently seeing family is that I don't want to be alone. I'm afraid I might do something stupid if I stay in my dorm room. I just want someone to hold me and tell me it's okay. Let me cry in their arms. Listen to me. I can't show this part of myself to people because depressed people like me become a huge pressure. They usually leave right after. One of my friends did, and it was the last time I came close to suicide. I'm sick in the head. I'm shattered inside. I feel things I have no right to feel. I'm a mess. A fucking mess.

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I'm Done [m16]I've recently returned from a certain summer camp (which will remain unnamed so I don't end up hunted down and thrown in a padded room) and it was a generally good if not underwhelming experience, but it was the only thing I've cared about for the past year. Without that to look forward to my life is back to its typical aimlessness. I'm back to hating everybody I talk to and feeling only fleeting instances of an emotion that could only loosely be described as positive. I'm posting here because I'm too lazy to write a note and don't care enough about anyone to address it to them, so I felt obligated to let a few strangers on the Internet know. The shotgun is calling me.

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can't see myself living in the next few monthsI don't want to take my own life as it'll cause extreme misery to my family, parents in particular, but I also cannot imagine living through the next few months, much less years... I hate thinking this way but sometimes I just wished I could be knocked down by a car or contract a life-threatening illness, basically cease to exist. I feel as if I'm a failed person/adult, who never really grew up or matured as everyone else did. I'm way behind my peers in terms of career, socializing and life in general. I lack confidence in everything I do, even in simple basic things. I don't understand how this life works and I feel like I never will. And I know that it won't make a difference to the world if I wasn't here anyway, their lives would probably be better off without the burden and trouble that is me.

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My friend told me she made a suicide noteMy friend had attempted suicide thrice this year. I'm practically 1000 miles away from her and I can't go there to make sure that everything's OK. I'm scared that after telling me her about her suicide note, she'll feel more compelled to carry it out. She's been my support system when I hit rock bottom and a reason for me to keep trying on living. I really don't know what I'll do if she dies. I don't know how to tell her she's a strong and beautiful person, that she's worth it, that I love her no matter how bad things get. It's hard to voice them out in messages and not sound like I'm just telling those as some other feel good compliments and I don't mean any of it. I can't make her call the national hotline because she absolutely hates making a phone call when she's crying, I can't force her to see a psychologist or go to a hospital because she couldn't afford it and I'm only making things worse to her financially. I'm so lost at what I'd do if she attempted again

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“Why ____ anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.”“Why do laundry anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.” “Why clean anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.” “Why go to class anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.” “Why get out of bed anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.” “Why dress nicely anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.” “Why talk to anyone anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.” “Why take care of myself anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.” On a constant loop all day long

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Question of the day, what would you do if someone from your school found out about your Reddit account? Honestly if you’re asking me, I off myself the internet entirely because everybody will be simping for my husband and I’m the only one that deserves him 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

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Help?The only two things keeping me from ending it all today are the fear of not succeeding, if I try, and to hurt the people I'd leave behind. I don't want them to blame themselves. I don't know why I make this post.

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My favourite season of the year is winter In my country (Aussie land) the winter temperatures are just perfect. It’s currently 31c and I’m burning inside as I lay upside down on my couch

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No more art on this subreddit? Not sure if this was a recent thing or if I just broke a rule or something, but I can’t post any art here anymore?

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My therapist cut me off and it’s got me suicidalI was seeing her pretty consistently this whole year, and I’ve been doing very intense work on my trauma. However, I had a habit of not showing up to sessions sometimes due to my depression. This whole year I was going consistently, and it’s helped a lot. In the past three weeks, I did not show up because my depression was going off the rails, and I had no energy. I was attempting to reach her the past few days to set up an appointment, and she finally got back to me telling me that she’s going to have to stop seeing me due to my inconsistency. I’m really crushed and just broken down because of this. My suicidal thoughts and ideations have been increasing in intensity the past three months, but now I would say I’m at a 9.2/10 in terms of wanting to end it. I realized that I should’ve honored my appointments, but I just feel so damn worthless now that even my therapist cuts me off. Sorry.

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I don’t want to live anymoreI just want to die I’m so tired. I try hard and I try my best but I fail every time. I’m just too tired. Everyday another failure. Nothing ever works. I’ve never felt real love or happiness. I don’t know what it feels like. I don’t feel good ever and everyday I just keep trying still despite that and I get nothing from it. I don’t see a way I’ll ever be ok if it’s been like this for almost 8 years now. I’ll just wait till I get the courage to end it

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No sleep in 4 days. Can't win. Can't not lose.I started coughing 4 days ago and haven't stopped. Can't sleep, can't lie down, can't walk any distance at any pace, can only sit if I'm hunched over like a cocktail shrimp, and that only delays the coughing for about half an hour. Full throated coughing, abs spasming with pain, coughing so much it feels like I'm bleeding, coughing so much I throw up. Went to the ER, got a fistful of scrips, got released at 11:00 pm. Only 24-hour pharmacy doesn't network with my insurance and wouldn't fill scrips. Had to wait until 9:00 the next morning for the one pharmacy my insurance DOES network with to open, and they don't carry the COUGH MEDICINE. It won't arrive until Friday. Meds haven't stopped the coughing. Haven't SLOWED the coughing. Wife said either she'd check into a hotel or I would; she refuses to stay in the same building a me because I cough so damn much that SHE can't sleep either. And now the hotel kicked me out because of noise complaints, because I'm coughing too much. It's not like I had anything worth living for *before* now, really.

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Can we stop putting politics in kids shows? I just wanna see Bugs Bunny smash Elmer Fudd with a mallot is that too much to ask? I don't want to see OK KO talk about gun control. I don't want to see Gumball mock Trump. I just want to see Classic Slapstick between Sylvester and Tweety. I just want to see Wile E Coyote get crushed by a boulder. I don't want to see cartoons being a way to get the writers political views out to millions. I just want entertainment.

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I am interested in what you think of me. Look at my profile and please tell I am giving you guys permission to check my profile out, look at comments, posts and try to tell me what do you think about me. Because honestly I can’t tell. Am I too serious or too talkative or an asshole, I really can’t tell

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I'm only 20 years old but I constantly think about the process of ageingSorry if this is too long. I'm "only" ("only" according to what people say) 20 years old, and even though I wouldn't say I feel "old" exactly, I'm always thinking about our finite youth, about ageing and our mortality. I can't get it out of my head. A new song from a band I like comes out and I realise they're 33, and I immediately start imagining myself in their shoes, as a 30 year old, with a lot of nostalgia of the past and thinking about my past and my past mistakes. I'm inevitably miserable in these pictures. I see people I like, admire or love age and that induces me into a profound existential crises. I'm **extremely** scared of ageing, you probably have no idea how much it scares and paralyses me. I'm scared of regrets, I'm scared of ending up a nobody, I'm scared of working a job I hate and that drains me emotionally. I can't stop thinking about my past regrets and worrying about doing things now that I will regret in the future. I feel so much guilt when I'm not 100% efficient in what I'm doing. I feel so bad about myself, my laziness and my inability to spend long hours focused and studying. I guess I hate myself for allowing myself to get defeated so easily by difficulty, I hate myself for being too weak. I really REALLY want this thing but I'm so fucking lazy and when things get difficult I just can't pull through. I want it so much that I want to cry. It's more like a necessity than a mere desire. The idea of having obtained this dream of mine is super motivating, but having to do the work exhausts me *emotionally*. I know at least one of the reasons why this happens (meaning perhaps there are others), but I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone, let alone publicly. The past month when mom came to visit me and help me with my breakdown, with difficulty I partially told her my "dream", why I want it, and why it's so important to me, and why working hard to achieve itself is so painful. It's not a crime or anything like that, but it's something I feel is ridiculous and laughable, something silly and that demonstrates how weak I am (or have become). One of my fears is *having* to commit suicide in the future (between 2 and 4 years from now) due to an unbearable amount of regret and guilt. I *know* I won't find any other solution but to commit suicide if I don't achieve my dream at least partially or if I don't achieve it in the time period I *need* to. This is because my goal heavily depends on my age, and it has nothing to do with a decline in my capacities or anything like that. My goal is along the lines of "enjoy your young years doing things that 20 years olds are". Time itself is part of the "specifications" of my goal. 30 year olds or late 20 year olds hanging out with early 20 year olds is weird and unacceptable, and I wouldn't feel part of the group either. I want to hang out with 20 year olds AS a 20 year old, but right now I can't. I've already wasted so much time isolating myself for 6 years in my room with my computer, not hanging out with people my age, not gaining experiences, not making memories, but now what I want is something slightly different. And being so "ambitious" or "demanding" sometimes makes me feel bad too. Perhaps I'm just a spoiled kid who hasn't grown up yet and learned of life. Maybe I have to stop being so stubborn and unreasonable, make peace with a life without this delusional, grandeur dream of mine, and live peacefully where I am. I know progress can't be accelerated so much, I do know it, but I so wish it could, you don't know much this pains me. Life is so painful, ageing is so painful, your face changing and getting more 30-year-old-looking is so painful. I want to stay this age forever, hang out with people my age all over the world, celebrate with them, suffer with them, talk with them, know of their dreams and fears, learn about their subcultures, be part of the group, etc. That last sentence is an exaggerated and less specific version of what I actually want, but yea, as you see, it's kind of stupid.

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are image posts removed? random text here. random text here.

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Suicidal AFI feel like dying..I’m debating whether or not to jump in front of a train or jump off a building but either way I pray it works

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I thought I was glo’d... until my crush talked about liking another guy when I was 200% sure she had a thing for me and I got all sad about it on the bus ride home lmao

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I want to liveI am 32 and I live with my parents, I Dont even have the option of moving due to their health and me not being able to support myself. I attempt to get jobs but people do not like me. My ex who I loved body and soul broke up with me five years ago. She gave me hpv and herpes....she was sleeping around and everyone knew but me. I reacted.....poorly. I said things on Facebook, mentioned her having an abortion, contacted her friends, and generally became pretty creepy about the whole thing. Not a day goes by where I wouldn't give anything just for her to speak to me, even to call me the shithead I am. She wont , not one word in five years, can't blame her. Now, I am afraid to even find anyone else, I feel tainted and unworthy. I have avoided doing well in school or work my entire life, I have a pretty decent IQ but all that does is give me fucked up thoughts of despair and meaninglessness. I suck at writing. When I'm happy people want to be near me, but I never am. I spend my days smoking pot, caring for my ailing father, mother, and a kid they adopted for whatever reason. I can't even kill myself because if I did she goes to cps and gets placed in foster care. I like her enough and she's a good kid. I just can't do it. I am not up to this task. My health is failing me in multiple ways. Developed allergies to wheat, tomatoes, fruits, rice, onions.....lots of plants. All I can eat is corn, oats, meat and potatoes, as far as I can tell. It isn't the type of allergy that will kill me either, imagine rolling around in fiberglass and feeling that way for two days or so after anything on the bad list. It sucks I hate it. I get frequent headaches and always think I'm dying, but I really do feel like shit except no one believes it, they think I'm nuts, again I can't blame them. A lot more but I'm tired of writing. Just looked at the ex's FB pic, she is beautiful as ever. I hope her life is happy. I know I could never have brought it to her. I bet she isn't alone today. Tldr I sit around avoiding life, and I can't kill myself because it would make someone's life a living hell.

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Honestly why do I put up with this existenceSo many things have happened in my life lately that just pushes me to ending it all. My drug addict sister who abused our parents, is in and out of the hospital and had a baby with severe health issues due to her drug use that has now been pushed on to my mom. Finals and mediocre grades. Im years from graduating even though I should have graduated this year. Financial debt that got mostly racked up from school and letting a boyfriend take advantage of me. Im still not over being in an abusive relationship 2+ years ago. And my most recent ex didn't take me seriously because I was in an abusive relationship, so that opened old wounds. I fell madly in love with someone who is terrible for me (again). I broke it off with him but thinking about going through life without him makes me feel so alone. Honestly, life hasn't gotten better. I've just gotten used to disappointment, grief and loneliness. I'm think I'm finally going to kill myself by the end of the year.

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Help with a crush Any help with a crush I need help moving on from a crush I’ve had for way too long (4yrs). I know this isn’t the best place to ask. Does anyone have advice for me. Because everyday I end up thinking about her when I try not to. I know for a fact she doesn’t like me. Sometimes I feel like a creep and I’ve latched on too hard.(also she’s long distance)Anyone any tips to move on from the friend zone? {repost}

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Why does my mood gotta be changing all the time 🙄🙄🙄 😭 😭😭 😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Like 🙄 earlier i was in a good mood 😬 why do i gotta be sad now 😔✌

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I don't mean to flex or anything, but i talked to a girl yesterday so like yeah

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I wanna fuck a muppet don't care which one it is, they all are probably top shaggers

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Isn't it funny?I've been conditioned my entire life to believe suicide is a cowardly act but yet I'm too much a coward to pick up the knife and carry through with this. I've been staring at it for 4 hours now and all it's done is remind me how much of a piece of shit I am and why I need to do this.

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I hate this world so muchI wish I could just create my own planet and live on there. I'm so sick of people. I do not want to live anymore. I mean I want to live but NOT ON THIS PLANET. No matter what I do people will always treat me like shit. It's like once you have been bullied in highschool you are deemed to be the victim for the rest of your life. Because that's how your brain has been wired. It knows no better than to be the victim - even after highschool - in any situation. My life feels like I'm stuck in playing a shitty game day after day over and over again. And always the same shit happens. It's like a vicious cycle - you think you grow as a person and you're not in the same position you were 5 years ago but you always realize that you' re still a loser. Why can't there be a button that will just end it all? Is that too much to ask for? :/

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Among us??? Among us? Add my discord artofReloading#5632. Ill add you to my server. I’m kinda new so sorry lol. I’m on mobile btw.

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If you're gonna make sex jokes At least turn on your user flair so we know you aren't a pedo

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Can't believe I'm here againI was well for a good while. A little over a year. Now, I'm back where I started, just wishing I were dead, having thoughts of slitting my throat or hanging myself but knowing I don't have the ability to do either properly. It is all the more painful having known what it felt like to be well. Trying to work has been like swimming through thick mud. I don't want to eat, and when I do, it makes me feel sick. Feeding and walking my dog feels like a monumental task. I don't want to shower. I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. I don't know for sure, but I suspect I have ADHD. I work in an office job, and it has been a mighty struggle, even in good times, to stay on task. An actual 8-hour day of work generally takes me 11 hours to achieve. Obviously, I'm not supposed to work that way, but I can't help it. I feel chained to my desk. I feel overwhelmed. I know I am lucky to be employed, but it feels tenuous and like I'm fooling everyone. How much longer can I really expect to pull this off?

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I don't know...where to turn so I'll write here. I've have had thoughts of wanting to die before and admitted it at my last appointment to my pshychologist. I'm really trying to make myself think that I'm not suicidal? Does that make sense, probably not. Like it isn't valid. My thoughts of wanting to die doesn't feel valid? Like sure I've thought of it and I have the way I would do it layed out in a mental plan but I've never made any steps "irl" to complete that plan like buying the stuff or so on. So in my mind it's not suicidal thoughts? But isn't it? I got new meds a couple of days ago and one of the first thing I did was start to think and look up how many I would have to take to actually die, I don't think I would, but I want to and now know how to. Sry for a messy post, I'm just rambling at this point, just needed to write it down somewhere, anywhere so it isn't only in my head.

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Thoughts of suicideI (23F) don’t know really, I’ve been touched by the darkness from a very young age - maybe 11 or 12 and I’ve been fighting the urge to end it all for just as long. I think I’m finally at the end of my rope so to speak, my world has completely crumbled in more ways than one and I don’t think there’s much reason left for me to continue to pretend I want to be alive. I wish I could say that things get better but they’ve only gotten progressively worse...

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A Hopeless LifeI.... im a 13 years old kid, i know you might think i was some sort of emo or troll or anything.. but i just really need to get this out of my chest, so i live in indonesia, i'm a student last week i have a finals that will indicate if i was going to stay in my grade or goes up from my grade(im so sorry for my bad english) but the problem is my school uses some kind of server to store the grade, i studied really hard i even stay up late just to study and memorize, the first day i was confident, i answered every question it was easy, i check every number from 1-50 until i was sure im gonna get an a, so i press "send" and i wait.... Until 1 or 2 minutes later i got an F and no im not making this up, and looks like i will not make it to the next grade, my family was very strict my parent put a lot of trust in me and looks like im gonna dissapoint them... again, look i know im a dissapointment so don't waste your time telling me that in the reply, i just dont know, i know that my family are gonna take all of my facilities including my PC which i use to Write novels,making a 3d models and edit video, Basically my hope for survival, i know this world is a harsh place, and i can't stop what i was doing with my PC or i will end up a beggar, and if i did not make it to the ninth grade i will lose all my friend, love from my parent, and maybe even my sanity, so looks like suicide was the only way i could escape, or maybe not, i don't know, I Just Wanna Die

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A needle full of bleach...So I guess it's like this. Finally got to quit being homeless 6 months ago. Already lost my job and don't know or understand how to handle living real life in a real house. It's harder to come back from than I'd ever thought possible. I have no food, my state won't fund me food stamps, I don't talk to ANYONE outside of the internet, including my roommates, who were at one point great friends of mine and helped me get back on my feet in the first place. The girl I want to marry gave me a second chance when I got back into a place to live, and I've already crippled my chances at anything long lasting through paranoia and fear. I won't be able to pay my rent in a week, and although they said they'd cover my share this month so I can keep looking for work, I don't think I can take the embarrassment of feeling useless and I also can't face life on the streets anymore. I'm deep in the red with debt and I owe bad people in a city near home money from my old long since kicked drug habit, however, I've been thinking about using constantly lately. (It dominates my thoughts.) I've been in bed for almost two days straight crippled with depression and don't know what to do. I can't even look anyone in the face without wishing they'd beat the living shit out of me for being such a piece of trash. I saved a needle from when I used as a reminder, always, that I could beat drugs. Now it's sitting there, full of bleach, like it has been for the last 3 days. And it looks better and better every time I look at it. I don't know what to do. I don't. I really don't know what to do.

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I have HSV1. I really contemplating ending my life tonight.I did everything right. I was in a long term, monogamous relationship. We both got tested before having sex. Except they don’t test for HSV, and my ex didn’t tell me he got cold sores. I ended up contracting HSV1 genitally after a year of being together. He broke up with me in December and is now in a new relationship. He can be happy and feel love again. He cheated on me and has cheated on his current girlfriend. But he’s still a desirable person because he has HSV1 orally. I’ve been left tainted, and disgusting. I am now destined to live a life without sex, or love. I read posts on Reddit and I’m reminded over and over how I’m worthless now because I have a permanent STD. I was also so careful with sex, I’ve never had a one night stand. And yet my life is over. There is no point in living if I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life.

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I'm gonna make the most downvoted post on this subreddit by saying this I don't think tik tok is that bad at all. I actually think it's quite good Keanu Reeves is WAY too overrated on this platform Yes Minecraft is good but it's not my favourite game

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i wish i could get hit by a busmy life is just awful. i have virtually no friends and i don't even think they care about me. the one true friend i had blocked me on everything because i hurt her because some of my ex friends set me up while drunk. my family never pick up on signs i give to them and seem to not care about me either. it feels like if i killed myself tomorrow no one would even cry. I have been feeling like this for a long time the only thing which kept me doing it was the arrangement i had with a friend that if one of us died the other one would killed them self now that i am not friends with her any more so no one would miss me i just don't see the point in living anymore its to painful

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Haha time to question my sexuality for the tenth time today Help

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I fantasize about suicide.I don't think I would ever put my family through the pain of me committing suicide, but I think about it a lot. I see things and think about how I could be killed by it. Cars, trains, electric tracks, guns, pills... etc. Some days/weeks are worse than others. But sometimes the first thing I think of when I wake up is ending my life. Honestly, I'm hoping for a terminal disease. Best of both worlds, won't have the guilt of fucking my family, and it would be my ticket off of this planet. On bad nights, I come here and just read. It helps, and I just wanted to thank you all for the support you offer to complete strangers.

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Literally everythingWhy does everything trigger suicidal thoughts. Every little thing. It also doesnt help that everyones main go to joke is that they want to kill themselves. Like just now for instance, my friend stating that they would like to kill themselves as we have math for 3 hours today. Everything is such bullshit. They need to make killing yourself easier. It takes too long to hang yourself and I pussy it too quickly. Fucking bullshit.

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I'm not sure I'll make itI've gotten close to killing myself in the past, but I'm so afraid that I'm not going to make it through this week or the rest of the month. I feel like I'm walking on thin ice and about to plunge through. I've had a lot going on in my life. I should be using this time to figure out who I am, but I don't know who I am anymore. I only see what I've become. And that means I'm a toxic asshole that just causes pain to everyone around me. I've failed the people that I love. I'm not sure if I can keep going knowing what I've done or who I've become.

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Holy this has been a big past 2 weeks First: date, kiss, boyfriend, breakup, getting back together, emotionally crying in over a year, job interested in my resume, this kid I've known for over a year remembering my name, and ending the first quarter of school, also made a new friend.

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Meet the Vagineer (Team Fortress 2 Meme) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Q2Jt7ViIio](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Q2Jt7ViIio)

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Looking for Pc Players So I am looking for people to play on pc right now (preferably from the UK). I’m mainly playing Destiny 2 and Rainbow 6 siege but I’m open to playing other games send me your discord if you’re interested.

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Is it just me who has a really weird music taste? Idk why, but I like so any different genres of music so my [Spotify playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4QF5mUhvXm3lLbhmjUI9gi?si=G4F1SGuTQMGoWfs2IGy0AA) is crazy

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