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jquiros

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suicide

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My life is falling apartHi all, This is my first and maybe last post on here. I’ve had a pretty easy life. I went to good schools. I have wealthy parents who always loved and supported me and pushed me to do the best in life. I have a girlfriend of 2 years who I love so much. I worked in Canary Wharf ( UK Version of Wall Street ) as a foreign exchange broker for over a year and I was pretty good at it. I left that job a few days after I turned 21 to start my own brokerage. I have a group of friends who are always there for each other, my friends are my second family. We always have each other’s backs. My life should be perfect ya know. Middle class white boy with his entire life in front of him. Then it changed. A few months ago I was involved in a car accident with a cyclist. I was driving home from my girlfriends on Mother’s Day and just didn’t see them. I missed the first one somehow but hit the front cyclist. They died a week later in hospital. In a few weeks, after the police have concluded their investigation I am going to charged with Death by Dangerous Driving. It carries a minimum of 2 years in prison and a lengthy driving ban. Due to coronavirus the firm helping me setup my own brokerage has folded, I lost all the money I had already invested into my firm from website design and the such, which was pretty much everything I had. My girlfriend is leaving me due to the fact I’m going to prison for 2+ years. She’s also leaving me for a guy she works with, turns out they’ve been having an affair since early December... and he sexually assaulted her. Apparently I’m just that bad of a boyfriend she wants to leave me for someone who sexually assaulted her. Most of my friends no longer talk to me due to the accident and the stress of the entire situation is putting a huge strain on my dads already very weak heart. My mum cries most morning and nights over it. I’ve always felt like I was a burden on people my entire life. I feel like I’ve let people down my entire life. I wish I could be someone different. My brother for example. He is a national swimmer, he has a masters degree in motorsport engineering and is currently an assistant lecturer. He has a house he rents with his friend in Coventry. My parents were always so proud of him. Although I said earlier that my parents loved me and supported me they have never been proud of me. They found out I smoked in year 9, I was never part of a sports team in school, I wasn’t popular. They felt I wasted my potential playing video games and going out with the few friends I had. So basically I’ve decided to end it. My entire life I’ve let people down, disappointed people and now everything is falling apart around me. I’ve lost my friends, my girlfriend, my company and soon I’m going to lose my freedom. I had everything and now I have nothing. I used to be sure of everything and where I wanted to go in life, I wanted to bring my friends and family and girlfriend along with me. Now it’s just me. Alone in the dark, lying in bed at 1:42am on a Tuesday morning. I’m not sure when I’ll go through with it, maybe a few days, maybe a few weeks or maybe when I’m in prison. So long reddit.

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when you want to date people because women are kinda hot ngl but you also are worried about leaving your friend behind because you love your friends and know that hes insecure about being replaced by people and obviously you dont want to replace her and youre worried youd end up spending less and less time with her and eventually drift apart, which in itself is one of your biggest fears, so instead of doing anything you just cry because you dont know what else to do !!! ​ edit: also you dont even know if you feel romantic attraction at all and you just need an excuse to spend time with people because you have a crippling fear of being alone!!!!!

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the song kiss you by one direction is the best song ever created no i dont take constructive criticism

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Your Personal Brian Everybody had a Brian. Sometimes one’s Brian is big, sometimes it’s small, all Brians have their uses though. Your Brian can learn. If you teach it right. Some Brians like school. Some Brians like video games. No Brians ever get credit where deserved. Treat your personal Brian with respect and care, do not be mean to Brian or your Brian will make you sad. All Brians should be nurtured and taken care of. They should be trained daily. All Brians should exercise. Make sure your Brian exercises often enough or they will start rotting. Keep your Brian healthy.

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Going to try again ✌🏽Found a longer belt

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Relatives and suicideI know it's a sensitive topic but i'm interested in what it was like for people which had others in their family or close friend group commit suicide.

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Who tf is vegene and why people tryna fuck em? *ew*

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Work related burnout and suicidal thoughts?I'm happy, I'm married, I have a nice two bedroom apartment, I have a game room (basically a man cave), I'm furthering my education and I'm doing well. Things are good. In another year I can probably start a family but there is this god damn fucking voice, going "whats it matter, sure the book is good but you can just close it and not have to deal with any of this bullshit". I hate working. I hate waking up every morning, having to leave the house, and do literally anything. It's one thing when its going to classes, I enjoy that, learning/etc. But my experiment? It has me literally wanting to fucking off myself because I'm so god damn tired of doing it. I'm tired of coming in on holidays, I'm tired of dealing with my emotional problems and mental crap (I'm autistic, ocd and have severe ADHD). It feels weird being happy and having suicidal thoughts. I know it'll end. I'll move onto something else, but this burnout is still there nonetheless and I don't know what to do.

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I feel really insignificant in peoples lives I know people are worried about themselves the most but I just wanna be someone’s favorite. I just wanna know what that’s like. I don’t think anyone really hates me (that happened to me before but I think we’re good now.) I’m just this random person that no one thinks twice about. I don’t even feel like a real person that can actually affect people. I feel like I don’t even have that kind of power. People don’t take me seriously and I barely talk to the people I thought were my friends. I don’t know if that’s a me problem or a them problem. I don’t wanna get in to that though. In my closet friendships I’ve ever had I’m never the favorite or there’s always someone better than me that they’d rather hang out with. I just wish someone would actually acknowledge my existence, I hate this

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Serious Answers Only Please, unless it’s funny. I started talking to this girl recently, but now she’s all I can think of. I can’t even play games or masturbate, I just sit and stare at space wondering if I’m approaching her right or if things will work out. Is this normal or am I just down bad?

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I'm going home. We're all going home.Non-existence, we were there for eternity. Life is simply a vacation, one that I am growing tired of each day. But, it's ok, the pain will cease. Each and every one of us, we'll get there, we all go home. I love you.

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I'm heading back into that direction...Sorry about the length. A little back story. I spent 3 years working as a nursing assistant where I worked nights, drove my GPA into the ground and spent most of my time binge drinking. One day I tried to drink myself to death by drinking three bottles of vodka. I don't remember much about that night. I blindly texted a few friends but I was told it was incomprehensible. I woke up to a trashed apartment. I gave my landlord my 30 day notice, submitted a request to be switched to evening shifts at my job, told my psychatrist what I did who promptly increased the dosage of a mood stabilzer he was giving me (for a mild case of type two bipolar he had diagnosed me with) and recommended a cognative therapist who specializes in alcohol abuse. I started seeing him reguarly and I thought I was doing good. I started hitting the gym and I ate healthier. I made a miscalculation though. I thought that switching to evening shifts would make me less moody. Instead I was overwhelmed by the number of coworkers, supervisors, and politics I had to deal with. I got into nasty fights with my long distance girlfriend who had stuck with me through all this. We broke up twice in a three month period due to my insecurities and lack of trust. I'm afraid to tell her anything now because I'm afraid I'll lose the support I had when I was binge drinking. I'm in the same rut I was before, I feel desperately alone and depressed. The therapy has made sense and has helped a little but its only been able to go so far in two months. Its hard to not beat yourself up when you've lived alone, isolated from about a dozen people for three years. I feel like all my hard work has been futile now. I stopped going to the gym, I only recently stopped heavily smoking pot to escape. (The constant introspection began to drive me mad.). I feel like nothing has changed. I'm still miserable and I'm still afraid to go back to school even though I want to become a therapist or a social worker. I haven't felt this terrible since I trashed my apartment. I'm worried if it gets worse I may take up drinking heavily again and try to drink myself to death. tl;dr Was in a rut, tried to kill myself. Got help, and now I'm crawling back into my hole.

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My teacher played some Christmas songs today. jUST BECAUSE IT STARTED SNOWING, DOES NOT MEAN YOU GET TO JUMP INTO THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT. KEEP IT SPOOKY, SPOOKY!! SHUT UP MARIA CURRY

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Who here likes oldies? (Music) Like 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, ect. None of that gangsta rap crap. Me personally, I love oldies. And people can be real bigots about it.

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should I study for my sat? yes no maybe no, idk, I'm sleepy, it's in like less than 2 weeks, I should tbh if I wanna leave florida

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Why are people afraid of the end of the world? Like if anything I'm hoping everyone dies at the same time because leaving people I love behind is wayy scarier than death

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i dont even know this isnt gonna be long ​ im not suicidal or anything but sometimes i feel like not existing does anyone else ever feel this way

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Anyone want to chat during school, I am bored, DM me or add me on discord UltraChad#8308. Anyone want to chat during school, I am bored, DM me or add me on discord UltraChad#8308.

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Marble Blast Ultra Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia Nostalgia

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You know what, let’s be cowbois but it’s with the arrows This may be an epic trilogy, or this will fail like the rest of my shenanigans

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I'm not actually pregnant! I didn't tell anyone about it, but I'm not pregnant. I thought I might have been for a bit, but I'm not, and it's amazing. Hopefully no one who I know finds this, I'll just delete it in a bit. I just wanted to share the good news

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Stop making suicide about you.I’m sorry to rant. I really am. I was just reading a post about a guy who had an acquaintance die by suicide and how he’s feeling overwhelmed and anxious. I know it’s a terrible thing, but what bothers me is that the comment section is all like “ohh I am so sorry for you and I can’t imagine what you are going through”. Are you fucking serious? This is not about him a human being has died and he’s thinking about his fucking self. God damn this just reaffirms my wanting to die. Like people don’t care. They only want to stop you from killing yourself and don’t care about the pain you’re in because they don’t want to feel bad about your death. This is it. No one wants to feel bad about your death so just stay alive and suffer endlessly. Gosh. Poor dude that killed himself. I really don’t want to imagine the type of pain and suffering that went through his head. If death brought him more peace than this life ever did then may he be in eternal peace. So fucking selfish. Everything.

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Am I the only one mad about this? Girls be calling each other sexy and hot on each other’s Instagram. But I remember that time last year where I gave my boy Kenneth a bro hug. Not a loving hug, like one you would give your mom, but just a simple bro hug. If you do not know, a guy hug is when you and the person you are hugging handshake, pull yourselves to each other, and pat the other guys back twice. I did that, and this girl and her group of friends called me and my boy gay. That same girl is the one who calls other girls sexy and hot in the Instagram comments. I cannot be the only one annoyed by this.

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Enemy mindIve been suicidal for months now. I need to die and everything I touch turns to shit. My mind constantly tells me im worthless and dont deserve to live. That I am a drain to everyone around me. I am sorry but I have to leave so those who love me can move on and not worry about me

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slugsoul adopted me 😎

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TherapyWhy does everyone say “you should go to therapy” as if it’s free and all I have to do is walk in. No but really is there free therapy out there for adults with no health insurance? or do I have to do something serious to myself and get committed to see somebody?

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And here I am once again.Back to feeling extremely suicidal again. I made a post in /r/depression a few days ago, hoping I wouldn't get this suicidal again. I tried to kill myself a few weeks ago (not in a way I had to see a hospital) and I never told anyone in real life about it. My family knows I'm really depressed and they wish they could help me. My mother tried so hard to make me feel a little better, it just doesn't work out at all. I have too many repressed memories. I'm sick and basically stuck in bed, can't go out and do things, yet alone go to school or have a job. I'm alone. Well, I'm not "alone", I have many people around me, I'm lonely. I was dating a guy who was just like me. He left me, so I would get better. He thought he was dragging me down more. He was the only one who made me feel better. I miss him a lot. It's been 6 months and I still feel just the same way about him. I'm tired of people telling me "you will get over it" and telling me I will find someone better. I won't. I have never felt attracted to anyone ever before in my whole life, except for him. And he didn't leave me because he didn't love me anymore or for any other usual breakup reason. I can't forget about him. It's not the breakup, it's the loneliness combined with all of my problems. Things just keep getting worse for me day by day and I just feel lonely. I wish I still had him, it was all I needed. I just can't get through this alone. I can't. It's too much. Knowing that nobody else can give me this kind of support. Knowing that this post and all the replies won't make me feel any better. It just seems impossible.

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I feel like everyone has given up on me, so why should I live anymore?Last week, I had a falling out with my girlfriend. I thought she was cheating, and in reality I was just way to suspicious and judgemental. She says we are fine, that it was an honest mistake, but she hasn't answered my calls or texts for a few days. My parents think I'm fucked up, that I have to steal from them. It's just small amounts of food, but they grounded me for a month. Now, I have to cancel all my plans and I'm too embarrassed to tell why. My bandmates have given up on me, they found someone better to replace me. My grades are falling fast. Is it better to just kill myself? I don't think anyone will care, and I won't have to face people anymore. I think I'm going to do it

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Let’s be real...The only reason suicide is frowned upon and shown as “taking the easy way out” is because governing bodies don’t want to lose the revenue you will create with your taxes and “contribution” to society.

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Back here again...I don't know if this happened on its own or because I quit the meds that I don't think I need. They all say I'm bipolar and give me these bullshit placebo pills that have hardly done anything. I seriously doubt I am, and so I quit the meds that I don't need. I don't experience the very common triggers, nor do I experience the physiological and emotional extremes associated with that disorder. It's all a misdiagnosis. I know it. I don't care if three doctors agreed with it, it's all wrong. These are the wrong meds and they are going to ruin me. The thoughts came back. I keep going through almost cyclical periods of wanting to go through with a gender transition, only to completely lose interest weeks or months later. I don't know which side to trust. I was going through treatment for it, but I ended up quitting for some stupid fucking reason. Now it's flaring up again. When it flares up now, it flares up to an EXTREME extent. I can't make rational decisions, my emotions are very unstable, and I become suicidal and engage in self-harm. These periods can last from a week to a few months. I don't understand why it's so intense. I literally cannot focus on ANYTHING else besides the idea of transitioning. The thoughts plague me night and day. It haunts me in my sleep. I'm afraid to go to sleep now. I just can't do it. I don't want this to be any worse. It will only get worse as long as it's not being treated. I'm almost certain this is going to get worse and it's only the first day of this 'flare-up'. I'm in an incredible amount of distress right now. The suicidal thoughts are starting to come back. I can't relax and breathe. I can't get anything done. It's transition or die. There is no other option. I won't be able to transition in the near future. By then the treatment will have a minimized effect on me. I was fine before this two years ago. It worked. I was fine. Then I wasn't. I'm fucking done with this shit. I'm done. I want to end it. I don't give a shit about anything else at this point. I don't even know how to do it since anything I could use has been removed from the house after previous attempts. But I know I'll find a way if this gets worse. I don't know where this is going to go and I'm kind of scared. I don't want to end up back in the psych ward. It's not just this stupid transgender crap that's fueling this. I also have a bunch of other psychiatric problems that are keeping me from getting anywhere in life. My therapist even told me that out of all her patients I have the most problems. Thanks doc. I'm told I shouldn't expect to be able to sustain a real 9-5 job that pays well. It's either part-time min wage servitude or disability. Either way I won't be able to pursue the gender transition. This leaves me with no choice. It's going to end soon.

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Don't scroll and read this because is for YOUIf you're reading this right now, I want you to feel proud of yourself because with all this b****** going on with all the people that hate on you with all the drama and all the craziness that goes on in this world. You're still living still breathing and you're still killing it and most importantly you're still trying they're still trying to understand this whole world thing and you're not giving up so easy To give up and it takes a really strong person not to give up if you're reading right now. I want you to know that things are going to fall into place. You're going to find out who you are. You're going to meet the love of your life. You're going to find amazing friends who support you are going to find a career choice that you love and you are going to be happy and you're going to find peace in yourself and in case nobody's told you over the last year or so you are amazing and I am so proud of you for not giving up. So keep pushing and keep trying because one day you're going to get the life that you deserve.

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Ppl who still buy disc games🤡🤡 (Does not apply if a game is disc only)

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It feels like it's creeping up on me, not sure how much longer I can go on with it.It's been exactly a month since my mother died at the age of 51. I always considered myself to not have to worry about the scenario until I was in my 30's, but here I am dealing with it at the age of 19. I've been criticized and pointed out at how well I'm coping with all of this happening for me, but deep down inside I'm hurt like the rest of them, I'm just desensitized from all the quarrels, problems, and depression leading up to it, not to mention nightmares almost every single night since then. It used to be just my mother, myself, and my brother all living together. My father left because of a relationship dispute some time ago when I was younger, but he has still been there for me. But since this has all happened, it has felt like nothing but control over the situation. He doesn't want to support me and my brother financially while he's the only one with a job right now, and he can't support us socially because he lives in another city. The most he's done is tell us to get a job and start manning up to the responsibilities that my mother used to take care of, but to be fair, neither me or my brother have had the willpower to do anything since. I want to go and see a grievance counselor with my brother, but procrastination, depression, and anxiety has been getting the better of both of us, and I doubt my father would be willing to help in that regard. I feel really broken right now. Unable to work and keep up in today's society. Everyone's pushing us forward, telling us what to do, how to do, what we need. I feel it's only a matter of time before either me or my brother hatches an idea and it plays out like some sort of dramatic movie. I asked my brother today how is he feeling today, on a scale from 0 being like any other day, to 10 being that he knows today is his last. He replied 8, I replied 6, although that's probably just the desensitization talking, and I'm probably more closer to 8 or 9. I feel like this is all revolving around money. It doesn't feel right at all, especially considering that my mother used to get paid spousal support, and she'd spend that money on me and my brother. It now goes all back to my dad and haven't seen anything since. I've tried speaking up against my dad about this, but the most he does is hold what little he supports us on right now over our heads and asks if we want his support or not. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to live. I definitely don't know how to help myself. A lot of these things, I would have asked my mother to hold my hand and help me do them. She would give me so much support through it until I was able to do it myself, but now all I get is tough love.

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In 2016 I was really sick, I wasn’t supposed to survive. I really wish I hadn’t. My pain would have been over then.In 2016 I had both MRSA and pneumonia at the same time. I spent a month in a room where people had to wear masks, face shields, aprons and gloves. Even when people came in to feed me. I didn’t see faces for a month. Each cough brought up blood and mucus. All those coughs, From the first to the last were like knives in my rib cage. After I was released I was coughing up junk for almost 2-3 weeks. I was treated with large amounts of mucinex, prednisone, levofloxacin and inhaling water like it was air. I was on large doses of Narco with an anti nausea medication for the pain. Why didn’t I die then? I later found out I wasn’t supposed to survive according to my doctors. It has lasting effects, I’m immune compromised, I’ve got scar tissue in my lungs. I wish I’d died. By dying then, so many things would have ended. Things world be peaceful.

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How to say would you like a slap in pigeon (modern Hawaiian/ broken English) Ho you like one slap

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ight who wanna vibe with me to some Filipino music? -Ron The Almighty Rat King [https://youtu.be/TeHVwy8V3vI](https://youtu.be/TeHVwy8V3vI)

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it’s horny hours bonking me is pointless because im invincible to bonking

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Lied my way out of the psych ward.So a week ago I made a post asking if I should tell guidance about my failed suicide attempt. Someone said I should and I decided to do it. I ended up going to a psych ward as I thought I would and I just got out yesterday. I was telling them that I felt better, when in reality I still feel like killing myself. I just didn't want to be in there anymore because the doctor didn't give a shit. I told him that I wasn't feeling good when he asked how I was doing, and he said "If I went to the grocery store, and asked how the clerk was doing, I expect them to say good, because that's the polite thing to do. I don't want to hear their whole life story all I want to do is pay for my thing" which made no fucking sense because it's not a grocery store it's a fucking psych ward. I'm supposed to be honest with how I am feeling. After that he quickly wrapped the conversation up and the next day he would talk about his life. He clearly didn't give a fuck. I want to tell my therapist that I am thinking of trying suicide again but I am scared to go back and I don't know what to do. Any help would be greatly appreciated

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I know I gotta get back in the groove of school But damn when your little sister beats your Wii Sports Resort golfing record you can't let that stand

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I'll never do anything meaningful with my lifeI have no skills, no motivation, no talent, nothing really. The thought of not doing something meaningful with my life makes me just want to give up, which I realize is totally counterintuitive, but it just makes me hopeless. I just quit my job as a dishwasher(again) last night, and I just feel like I'll never do something I'll feel is good enough in my life. I'll be a fucking dishwasher or some shit my whole life, serving people that actually have their shit together. Fuck that, I'd rather just die now, and I just might.

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Damn a bitches ass looks fat in these pajamas I need to get more tight pants for my own comfort 🥴

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pronhub deleted all my favourite videos somebody please send help this is an emergency

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do you watch YouTube videos at 1.5x or are you normal?

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[Important] TikTok is NOT for kids. TikTok is a shady and mostly unmoderated area place with porn. So this is just plain bad. Kids in GRADE FUCKING THREE are using TikTok and have (probably) seen porn before because of TikTok. Types of porn on TikTok include people showing off their bare butt, full body cam of naked people, and girls showing boobs. So TikTok is a place if you're willing to see porn. Otherwise go elsewhere safer because you're not supposed to go on TikTok at school. However, our school district not only blocks the website but also the API so TikTok is blocked, even on the mobile app. While TikTok might be an "excitement" during the COVID pandemic, TikTok is NOT a safe place. Make sure to read the reviews of the app, website, or product before downloading/accessing it.

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Bitch I’m drunk everybody have a good fucking night My post is not short you fricking bot (this is a repost btw) have a good night btw:)

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Suicide is not an option for me. That's not just a tired saying, it's my reality. But if it's the only thing I can think about, where do I go from here?I cross-posted from r/depression. I'm sorry if you see this twice. I've been lurking here on my main for a long time, and I don't know that I fit in. I'm sorry if my situation isn't relatable. It sounds really stupid. I have a great life. I know many people are alone but I'm not, no matter how much I keep trying to be. I try to push my friends and family away but I can't. I had a pretty traumatic childhood, but all those people have been out of my life for a decade and my remaining family are amazing. Suicide is absolutely not an option for me. I have too many people who care about me (I know, I know how this sounds). Once my dad and grandma pass away, then it's very much on the table - friends and other relatives may be sad but they will get over it. However, my dad was a young parent and therefore is very young and healthy, I've got a couple decades before that becomes a reality. Sometimes I resent that, and that's the darkest thought I've ever had. I've never told anyone this before, but in my worst moments I am upset that my dad - my favorite person in the *world* \- is still alive and healthy and going to stay that way, because that means I have to stay alive for a few more decades too, and I really don't want to. I'm also gainfully employed, in a job I used to love, and really should still love. I'm not wealthy but I can support myself. My job is incredibly stressful but my coworkers are good people, my boss is a good person, I believe in the work, and it pays the bills even in my very expensive city. I have friends, and the ability to have more friends, but instead of going out and socializing I just keep pushing more and more people away. I just don't know where to go from here. I feel like I have to keep it all up - working, being a normal person, or faking it as best as possible. I isolate myself a lot, I never go out, but still my friends are there. It's very weird and confusing. I don't know how I got so lucky. Not only are my friends still around no matter how much I avoid them, but they're all very cool people - they're intelligent and successful and have so much going for them in their lives. I don't know how I've tricked all these people into being my friends, or how I've tricked my job into keeping me employed, or how I've tricked my family into being so supportive. But I have, and I need to undo all of this without hurting anyone. I don't want to be alive anymore. Every time a minor thing goes wrong that thought hits me like a ton of bricks. Every time I'm alone, and I'm alone *a lot,* all the same. But I don't know what to do. I feel so fucking trapped. But my amazing, supportive friends and family would be absolutely crushed if I told them any of this - and they'd probably have me committed. They'd probably try to make me quit my stressful job, as most of my complaints about life to them are framed around my job (which is stressful, yeah, but a mentally healthy person could handle this - hell, even a slightly-more-healthy version of me from a few years ago could handle it). Then I'd have nowhere to go, nothing to do. My friends and family would get tired of me and I'd be in the same situation as so many people who are alone. It's like I've got it backwards. I have no reason to be depressed right now, but I am, cripplingly so. But if I tell anyone, my life will be turned upside down and I'll have a genuine reason to want to die for the first time since I was 12. I just... don't know where to go from here. I'm sorry if this was rambling and hard to follow. And I'm sorry if this sounds self involved or bragging - I don't understand why I've gotten so unfairly lucky in life, either. I wish someone more whole had all these good things going from them. I would genuinely love it if nobody would miss me. I know that sounds awful.

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I am conducting a social experiment Since I can’t make a poll, choose what you prefer out of the two options: **A - Furries** **B - Lolicons** Feel free to provide a reason too

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School Holidays, baby! I have survived so long to deserve this, a whole God damn term doing online learning. But fuck me in the ass, I'm probably gonna have do another term of this bull shit again. But in the mean time I got 2 weeks of wanking and playing videogames

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anybody got tips on getting a gf/bf? yeah basically im a bit lonely and need some looOOOVE

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I want to end myselfSAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN SAD PAIN

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What type of music do y’all listen to? I just wanna know since all I’m doing these days is listening to music and I’m kinda runnin out of music so can y’all give me some suggestions?

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MotherI’m sorry but I can’t take it anymore. Please forgive me. Love you x

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Somebody told my friends to kill themselveSo, a bit of backstory. Me and my friends have all been at the school since kindergarten and had known each other for ages. Some of the people in my friends classes started telling them to commit suicide. Both of my friends have depression/anxiety and I don't know what to say or how to support them. What things could I say to them to help them, and let them know that they're not alone?

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Everyone looks better with glasses Like their purpose is literally to improve eyesight like is this even an argument smh

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Pokémon question How rare is a Articuno and Mewto EX?

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I'm finally at a breaking pointI have no idea why I am writing this right now. I'm 29 and I'm a fucking loser. I'm a miserable person who sees all the negatives in any situation. I've fucked up every opportunity life has ever given me. Everything to me seems stupid and pointless and I can't seem to find enjoyment out of anything that doesn't involve deep fantasy where I can forget who I am for brief periods of time. My parents sent me to two different schools and I fucked up each of them for years and got no degree. I have no real skills that can get me a job, I've been unemployed for two years straight almost. I finally got a job four months ago and got so stressed out at a night time security guard job that I had to quit it was making me so incredibly miserable. I'm pathetic and I have no idea why I was feeling what I was feeling. I can't put it into words, I'd just go to the job and start to feel panicked. I ended up having to find an excuse to quit even though my parents asked me not to. Now I'm sitting here jobless wondering what do I do? Even if I get a job is it going to stress me out to the point where I can't handle it? Probably. My father thinks I'm a fucking loser and a disappointment even if he won't come right out and say it. He's ashamed of me and that crushes me, but there's nothing I can do. Shame is something I've come used to, it scares me less than the stress I am going through. I've never had a girlfriend, I've never really kissed a girl, I've never had anyone love me back. I've never had someone I could put my arm around and say "I love you too" to me. I live completely alone without another living soul around me. I didn't used to drink until I started that job four months ago and now I do it just to feel 'normal'. Like just doing what everyone else does when their depressed makes me feel slightly better. I've been laying completely in the dark for hours crying because I have no hope for the future. I'm almost 30 years old and there's nothing good out there coming. I've squandered every opportunity I've been given and it's just too late. I'm a burden to everyone around me. I tried to tell my parents how I felt around the holidays but they didn't get it. They were worried for a few days and kept asking me over and over how I felt until I finally said 'better' and then they figured I was past it all. I wasn't. They told me I need to talk to someone, but I can't afford to go talk to a professional. And even if I did, where do I start? How does a professional take my fucked up life and make me want to live it? There's no digging myself out of this hole I'm in. I'm stuck and I'm going to stay stuck. It's too late for me to start changing, too late for me to get a girl, too late for me to fix how I get when I go in public. So fuck it, right? I'm crying and screaming at the top of my lungs and I just don't know how to make it all stop. I don't know why I'm putting this in the suicide watch Reddit because I'm too much of a coward to kill myself. I want to do it, but I'm too afraid. I've tried before, but I always chicken out. I'm useless even at that. Again, I just don't know why I'm writing all this. I'm somewhat of a writer, maybe I'm hoping it'll make me feel better? I was wrong. Now I just feel embarassed ontop of it. Jesus, what do I do? Do I keep limping along, making people ashamed of me as I keep fucking everything up? Wouldn't it be BETTER for me to just end it?

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BreakupIm 30/m and my girlfriend 21/f left me two weeks ago. She was unhappy sexually b/c I'm not old enough for her. She kept it to herself for 2 years thinking she could change the way she feels about me. When she was a child/teen she was abused sexually by older men and now that is all she is attracted to. She did not expect to fall in love with me when we started dating. I wanted to get married someday. NEVER felt this way about anyone before. Now she is gone. She told me that maybe we could try again but that she would need to make a big change in her life and isn't sure that it would ever happen. Seems like she doesnt want anything to do with me and she said its because it would be to hard for her and me to be in my life. I am going crazy dealing with this. Eating sleeping and getting work done are very difficult. I try to not call her or text her but I usually cave and do it at least once a day. I go by her work and new place to see if shes there at night when I can't sleep. Im really fucked up. I am 2 years sober as well which makes this harder. I cant run from the pain i get to feel everything. I think about killing myself. I just feel like its all getting worse and I cant change it. When I was trying to get sober I thought about killing myself a lot for the same reason. All this work to do and no energy. Ive come to the conclusion that doing work, whether for money or personal growth is the way to being ol and somewhat of a whole person but I just dont know how. I have all this work to do and I dont have the energy or give a shit enough about anything to get started. I know objectively what is supposed to work. "Dont talk to her" "Get work done" "Distract yourself" "Get exercise" Has anyone been in a situation like this? Where you found the person you thought was the right one for you and then one day it just all fell apart? She still loves me and I her but we cant be together and its just getting harder as time goes bye.

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My chronic depression is getting worse... This world feels like a nightmare. [NSFL]I'm thinking about suicide a lot... I want to be dead. I once thought that human problems were surmountable, but they're not. They're just not. I only want to live if I can think of a scheme in which humans aren't doomed, and I can't. I've tried and I can't, and that depresses me. Everyone I've ever loved is going to die; I'm going to die. Everyone works hard for things, which they forget about when they die. Everyone feels pain. There's so much agony in the world. So much madness. Small animals by the millions are being poured into grinders alive; their meat comes flowing out a tube, like shit from an anus. Young children are beheading people, but tiny baby arms are so weak they saw the heads off slowly. And then other children listen to music that's merely people screaming. Screaming! This is a world of endless screaming. High-school graduations happen, and the young men and women without scholarships walk away, knowing that they will live lives of struggle, which will be harvested as tax dollars for the state, no differently than the way human batteries are harvested by the machines of The Matrix. The planet is suffering and the minds able to come up with schemes capable of reversing the damage being done are killing themselves. The leaders we elect have values, not plans or schemes. Human history is filled with torture, slavery, and suffering. I hate being human. Most of my friends are depressed because I find happiness intolerable: pathological happiness in the face of this worlds past, present, and future, seems like a crime to me. Every religion secretly prescribes nihilism. Humans exploit one another in life, because nature has been overridden by the state, thanks to human nature. And I feel worlds away from it all. I don't want to participate in human affairs, but go in direction completely opposite to wherever this leads. I don't have any hope for humans... I just hope... That this is all some kind of simulation, intended to teach me how not to behave. What if evolution made us miserable, so we could survive? I don't feel like anyone can relate to me. I don't feel human. I don't understand what I'm supposed to do for you. I don't understand why, as I've aged, I've become more sensitive, and not less. The adults who raised me were so stupid, that I assumed I would become numb when I grew old, but it seems like the complete opposite has happened. These feelings. Was I programmed to function in a smaller world? I drive down the street, and it scares me: that I have this urge to meet everybody I see, but I roll past them like they're nothing. And I'm nothing too. What's the point in being a nothing that feels something? And there's no such thing as help. People don't help; they help themselves by getting jobs. One of my only older friends, she's really jaded about life; she feels like it let her down. She told me that I should try not to obsess over these things (our world and universe is eating itself); that people who do, do end up killing themselves. I just can't though. It's getting harder and harder to wake up in the morning, and when I do wake up I'll go back to bed to cover up my disgusting self. I will delete this post, to cover up my disgusting self, but I promise I won't kill myself. I feel so torn, because I want to like existence, but I don't. And it's the only existence I know! And that hurts even more. If only I could go somewhere else.

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Ah,I feel so apathetic to everything. All I do is cause people pain and yet I even feel numb to the guilt. A very, very small part of me is scared of potentially hurting someone badly in my life and it makes me wanna kill myself. The rest of me is kind of hoping I hurt someone and that part of me also makes me wanna kill myself so I can leave a lasting impression on whoever knows me and/or whoever finds my body. If this gets much worse I think I will go through with it. Or at least attempt so if I survive I can feel something, even if it's just suffering.

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I don't want to get better. I want to die.I can't see myself ever being happy or content anyway. Even if I got over my social anxiety, got a good job, moved to a great new country, had caring friends and family, had a partner, had a nice house and fulfilling hobbies, even then, I'd still be depressed and empty. I might be less depressed, but it wouldn't go away. I'm tired of being told to get help or open up to someone. The only advice you ever get is "it gets better" and "think about your family". Well, I don't care anymore. I'm tired. Why is not wanting to live so frowned upon? I tried living, and it's not for me. Stop trying to save me and just let me die painlessly.

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Dont think I was meant to be a mom, maybe I'll kill myself insteadSince having my baby in January I've been increasingly depressed, angry, and anxious. I know its probably PPD and PPA but to be fucking honest, I dont care WHAT it is. All I know is I want it to stop. I dont enjoy being a mother. I got pregnant at 19. Just recently had my 21st bday. So I'm a young mom. I kept the baby because I thought I was going to be a good mom. I've worked at daycares. I've always been good w kids. I always wanted to be a mother. And I LOVE my baby, with all my heart, but I'm just not a good mom. I hate not being able to do anything anymore. Always broke. Cant even shit on my own time. I dont sleep. My baby is 9 mo old and still wakes up up to 8 times a night. I dont like my appearance. I don't like sitting home all day. I dont like the sound of my baby crying. I don't like changing 10000 diapers a day. I don't like not being able to do ANYTHING when I want to. I miss independence. Freedom. Having a personality other than tired and stressed. Friends. Going out. Relaxing. Having goals and hopes for my future. Lmao, all the goals I had are gone now. Cant go to college when all your money is being spent on formula. Cant go to college when you dont have a babysitter. Cant get a good job without college. Etc etc etc. I'll amount to nothing more than a mother now. And for some people that's enough. But I feel like I may as well be 50 already, just say bye to any semblance of youth i have. I don't think its right to my daughter to have a mom who doesnt wanna be here. I don't think it's fair to my boyfriend to have to deal with me. I will NEVER be happy away from her so leaving and starting over isnt an option. Cant undo my baby in my brain. But I will never be happy doing this either. I just want to quit. I want to die. I want her to have a better mom. I want her to not see anger from her mother. I want to not be conscious or aware anymore. I want to cease to be. But I'm terrified I'll do it and get stuck on the other side watching her from afar. If I knew 100 percent death meant emptiness and conciousness death, I'd have done it long before now. And I've struggled w depression, bi polar, borderline personality, my whole life. I don't see it getting better. Just worse. So why stick around?

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CODE RED I LIED ABOUT KNOWING HOW TO PLAY THE GUITAR CURRENT CHAIN OF EVENTS: \>picked up the guitar after 4 years \>learned to play like the first 10 seconds of let it be \>uploaded it on insta \>very pretty girl with angelic voice asked me to come over so we can sing and play guitar together :))) \>I SAY YEAH SURE WHEN ARE YOU FREE \>Wanna come today at 6? See ya then! \>I ONLY KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE FIRST 10 SECONDS OF LET IT BE WHAT DO I DO Genuinely though, any advice for strumming? Most songs of the genre she sings are just some basic coords so that's fine, but it sounds a bit scratchy when I strum and I think I have a problem with the timing. Any feedback appreciated lol

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Day 5 of posting things related to the Internațional Waffles Day(Google must be confused about why I searched for this every day) Waffle Day has recently begun to be celebrated in other countries as well, often ushered in by restaurants and cafés specialising in waffles, as in India, where the Belgian Waffle Co. in 2018 declared that they would celebrate National Waffle Day in July, or in Norway, where Waffle Day was all but unknown until producers of waffle irons, milk and flour started to promote waffle day in the mid-2010s. In the United States, National Waffle Day is celebrated in August to commemorate the date of a U.S. patent on a waffle iron; however the celebration is described as "at best a 'bizarre' or 'unique' holiday – the fluff stuff of radio DJ commentary", a frequent criticism of food celebration days. Some people love the occasion and think of it as a real festival whereas others don't really like or understand it.

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I'm a disgusting piece of shit and here is my rant.I'm so fucking done. I recently moved to the other side of the country for my internship, better said: to work fulltime without even getting paid. I have literally nobody here; all my coworkers are at least ten years older (seriously), I can't join any sportsclub or other activities around here cause I'm not an official student so I'm not welcome there. All the parties and activities I'm welcome at, are full of old people (as in at least 40 y/o). I was so glad that I got invited to celebrate the newyear at my boyfriend's appartment, but yesterday the flu kicked in. I was up the whole night (8pm till 5am) vomiting bile and it hurt so much that i even had to sleep sitting up. It was horrible. So, I asked him if he could please, just please, come over here, instead of having that stupid fucking party. But guess what, he'd rather be there ofc. He'll maybe come later tonight, around 11pm, just to fuck obviously. I know he's totally obsessed with the girls that are gonna come to that party ('I just think they're really interesting', yeeah well, especially with those seethrough dresses and giant push-up bras, right.), and it just hurts so much. I never felt wanted in my entire life, and even he, after all this time, won't spend time with me. He's probably gonna break up with me soon cause I'm a depressed, hidious piece of shit with no friends who's always yelling and ruining everything. Things were finally getting better for me; I quit drugs after using almost half of my life, I started to eat better and to exercise, but nothing helps. I'm still the same disgusting whore, and I don't know what the fuck to do. I'm probably just gonna go to that stupid party, eventhough it's two and a half hours by train and I've been vomiting my brains out for the past 24hrs. I just really want to feel like a whole person, okay. I don't want to die, but trust me, I want to, if you know what I mean :/

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I'm smart enough to know how dumb I am but I'm not smart enough to fix that. I just felt like you should know that.

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I've got everything going for me and yet...Hi Reddit, This is my first time posting ever. I need help. I've been diagnosed with major depression and anxiety. I take my pills every day. I'm surrounded by people that love me. I've been told I'm pretty, talented, funny, nice, etc. I have a boyfriend. I have a loving family that is paying for my college education (though I dropped out because the depression was so bad). I have a roof over my head. I was in a sorority surrounded by tons of friends. I used to be a division I athlete before I dropped out. Everything is right in my life. Everything, except me. I'm miserable all the time. I honestly want to kill myself. I've tried twice to hang myself but it didn't work. All I got was the impression of a rope around my neck. I've never felt this down in my life. I think of all the mistakes I've made and I just wish I could go back in time and relive my life, knowing what I do now. I don't know what to do. If I didn't live in a state where it was so hard to get a gun I probably would have shot myself a long time ago. I know this is just rambling and probably doesn't make any sense, but I just want to get everything out. I'm so sorry I feel this way. I shouldn't.

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Least physically painful way to do itI’m a pussy, I’m scared of the pain even tho I wanna die, shooting myself tho sounds cause I’ll probably die before feeling the pain but idk where I can get a firearm quickly in the uk. Also how do I make it easier for others. That’s the hardest thing keeping me here, they don’t deserve the unnecessary pain. Wish I could just vanish without anyone knowing, just wanna go and be like I never existed

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I really want to attempt but I’m too scared that everything will just be magically better right as I stab myselfFor the past few months I’ve just been in “oh shit I’m going to die” mode. I’ve been doing everything I can bring myself to do that will positively affect my mood even if it’s only for a little while. My parents are confused as to why I’m just disobeying them and my dad is getting even angrier at me daily. This disobedience has only made them take away things that helped me. And the worse my mental state is the more desperate I am to try to bring it up to even the slightest bit. I don’t have the strength to tell them how bad I’m doing and I can’t afford help even if I could get to it. Talking to my friend has helped a lot but I’m still getting worse everyday. I feel like I’m in quicksand and everything I do to try to get out only makes me sink myself even further down. I don’t believe I will survive two more years of this. I wish I had the strength to get help. I’m wasting the opportunity for a cheap higher education by tanking my grades because I don’t have the energy to do anything. And every time my parents see my grades I’m reminded how much of a failure I am. And to top it all off I get to be dysphoric too as of recently. Fun. Sorry for ranting Tl;dr I want the pain to end

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Damn life’s tough. I want me some physical intimacy 😔 Yeah idk I just wanted to make this post

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Spring bouta be pretty neat Rust, Terraria update and a Minecraft update? Oh lawd

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I feel like i'm just living because of other people, not because I have a will to live.The thought of killing myself gives me peace. All I want to do is end my life, but I can't do that because I love my parents and family, and killing myself is so selfish. I feel like the only reason I haven't killed myslef is because I don't want to hurt the people that care about me. But I feel so unhappy and like my life is going nowhere, cause I'd love most of all to be dead. I feel numb, and every meaningless task just adds to the dull lie that I live with everyday. My life has no meaning, I don't want to live, but I can't end it cause I don't want to hurt my family. I feel like I'm in an empathetic paradox

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just remembered that i used to sing in random voice chatsat like 10 years old although i can't sing for shit i even remember saying "yeah, this was pretty bad" after letting those horrific sounds out of my mouth and everyone agreeing lol

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guys i wanna make a meme but i have no ideas ☹️ yah.. give me ideas and i’ll make meme idk

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"Life's for the living so live it Or you're better off dead"It's getting to the point where even reddit isn't numbing me to the pain. Idk what's my worth. I feel rotten inside. I'm tempted to just have a one night stand and end it all the next day. At least I won't die a young virgin lol.

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Spent my new years having a meltdown at a party..God I hate my life so fucking much, drank way way too much, now it's 4am music still going and I've just headed up to the house owners bedroom to attempt to cry myself to sleep as I can't stand the site of others cuddling each other, fucking kills me. God I hate being so so lonely and I just want to kill myself so badly. I had a meltdown Infront of like 20 people basically telling them I want to die over and over :( things are never going to get better for me, I want to stab myself so so badly. I'm sorry for venting I know I'm a pain in the ass in which nobody cares about, guess that's why I'm going to die alone.. fuck my existence ;( I hate my life

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I'm a Worthless BastardToday, I really contemplated killing myself. It’s not the first time. I’ve considered it a lot of times in my life and I always come up with some reason not to. My family needs me too much. I’d miss the new episode of my favorite show. For the longest time, the reason I was holding onto was that I didn’t want to miss out on Avengers Infinity War and then Endgame. It sounds so stupid now that I think about it. Then I saw it and, even though it wasn’t everything I thought it was going to be, I was mostly satisfied, and I forgot. It had been so long that I had forgotten that I was waiting for that movie to end things. It wasn’t until today when I was sitting on the couch, at peace for once. I was genuinely content with myself at that moment. Then my sister came, and she was mad that I didn’t take her son to school today. He didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, had a really bad nightmare about his grandmother (on his father's side) who had recently passed. I decided to let him stay home since it wouldn’t be right to send him to school. My sister confronted me. She accused me of being lazy. She said that all I do is lay around and watch tv all the time. She brought up things; how I’d never finished school, how I didn’t have a job, how I didn’t have any friends, and that the only thing I had in this world was those stupid action figures that I collected. She called me a Worthless Bastard and said that I was going to grow old with nothing and that I better not expect her to take care of me when our mother eventually dies. A worthless bastard. That really hurt. She thinks that I am a worthless bastard. My own sister. I waited until she left the house and then I cried. I really got to thinking about my life. She's right. I don't have any friends. I dropped out of college to take care of my mom when she got sick and now I don't have a degree. I'm 23 and still a virgin. I've never even had a boyfriend cause no one ever wanted to ask me out. I was a home care provider for my mom but then I was fired when she changed insurances. No Job. No money. I fill out an application for places and get rejected. I go in for interviews and get rejected. I'm so tired of getting rejected. I just hate my life. I hate everything about it. Every time I leave the house I just feel like everyone is laughing at me. They can all see how awful I am and are thinking about how much they hate me. I know I'm being irrational. It's just how I feel so I haven't left the house, other than to drop my nephew off at school and pick him up, in days and even then I don't get out of the car that way I don't have to face anyone. I just go home and hide. I used to be so Smart. I think about how Smart I used to be. I think about my goals. My plans for my life. The things that I wanted to do. I was going to be a doctor. I was going to go to college out of state and It was my plan and I’d tell anyone who would listen about my plans. I endured a lot of bullying growing up and people were always telling me that I was worthless. I was always going to be worthless. I remember in the first grade that I was excluded from games and I didn’t have any friends. The Bullying continued throughout Elementary and Middle School. Bullied at school and then bullied at home by my sister and my grandmother. All my life everyone has always told me that I was ugly. that I was stupid. That I was lazy. That I couldn't do anything right. That I was a dumbass. And whenever I'd cry I was called out for being sensitive. Why was I so sensitive? Why couldn’t I take a joke? I was always a target, and there were days when I considered killing myself just for relief. But I didn’t. I stood in front of a mirror, tears in my eyes and I said, “Not yet. I can’t do that to my family.” But I think about it now that I’m older. All my life, I was told that I had to take care of my sister. She has a mental disorder and my mom was always telling me that one day when I became a doctor that I had to support my sister. Look after her. I used to have nightmares about that. Nightmares where my mom was a ghost telling me to look after my sister. And after she had my nephew it became, "Look after both of them." Now, I'm nothing. I didn't become anything. I didn't prove anyone wrong. I can't take care of anyone. I'm a waste of space. A worthless Bastard just like she said. I feel so worthless and tired. I hate myself so much. I just wish I was dead.

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Confusion, suicide and a sick petI’ve been having a lot of suicidal ideation. It’s different this time though because I truly feel I’m not meant to be on this plane in existence. I finally realize that waiting out this pain is rather pointless because it’s going to re-emerge again and whatever contentment I find in the spaces between isn’t worth the darkness. I manic-depressive and I can’t trust my own brain, my mind. It’s the worst it’s ever been this time. My cat stopped eating about a week ago. He’s going downhill and the doctors just figured out what’s going on but the situation is dire it’s probably too late. I don’t know what to do. Supposedly he has a 79% chance of bouncing back, but in the meantime he’s on a feeding tube that I have to tend to every hour and a half. And any other time in my life, I would jump on the chance to help my companion animal get through a hump like this to live. But right now, well I’m suicidal, I don’t know why am torturing him and torturing me in the process. The vet said it’s not torture. That he looks worse than he is. I’m not concerned that this vet is bilking me for money, believe me. He really thinks that if we do the tube feeding for about a week that he could be fine for another three, or five, or 10 years. But I don’t want to be here another three, or five, or 10 years. I feel horrible that instead of snuggling with me like he’s always done, my cat Stays in one spot unless I’m coming to feed him and in that case he runs away. Like bolts away for me, running into things along the way because he has the Elizabethan collar on. I don’t know if it’s good for him or me to keep doing this. I don’t know if I put him down, I might come to me angry that I didn’t do everything I could. And I don’t know if that outweighs the anger I’m going to feel if he is deteriorating to a point of no return and his last days with me are horrible. I fantasize about killing me and him. Why delay the inevitable? This pain isn’t worth it. We could be released from everything. Advice?

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if u have online friends what do u guys talk abt? i dont rlly talk to ppl online but im close with one and its started to become a but dry cause i just dont know what to talk abt.

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Posting a song every day untill idk or i forget, day 3 The song is life and death by rezz. Ok bye now ive done fucked up. Bye guys/gals have nice day ok now l ave for real stop reading this. No really there is no point in reading this. I mean it, this is just filler/me being bored and talking to myself so FUCKING leave please. I advise you do. Youll get a piece of info you dont want. Prob gonna regret saying this but 01001001 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 HINT:binary.

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hi fello gamers and gamerettes discord server and my friends r trying to get new peoplee, we chat, send memes, play games like minecraft among us overwatch all that stuff, and such going on, is not a commitment, guys and girls welcome, dm for link :D

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I just wanna wish yall luck on NNN. To anyone who is doing it, good luck. Also pretty Ironic I created my reddit account on the day before no nut xd

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my school tripping balls they're saying anarchists are extreme right because the right wants less government..but they left out THOUSANDS of other details....w..tfff

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What's better than 1 billionaire Two I think that line is funny because many people would dispute that and say 0.

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Just got rejected and i am feeling great I just offered a good friend of mine to go on a date (when lockdown here is over) and she rejected me saying that she is flattered but that she isn't ready for a relationship we agreed to pretend it didn't happen and I feel so relieved that I told her

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After an attemptSo, for all those who have attempted to remove themselves from the world, did any of you experience some strange sensation after? Like, for a few weeks after my first O.D. I was completely at peace, I was almost happy to be honest. It's the perfect calm, and there's this sense that you've purged your pain. Now, of course I'm back to my misery, but I just want to know if anyone else experienced this.

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Any good discord servers? Basically i am on like 1 discord server and that is it. I want to meet new people so yeah. Feel free to recommend some. 16 female fyi

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She left again. Tonight's the night I'm done. I'm killing myself tonight because I have literally no reason to be here anymore. I'm fed up with everything, the girl I've known for two years has been a blessing, she's been a crutch for me when I've needed it, she's helped me through everything and I've helped her. I've made my share of fuck ups, so of course to her parents I'm the crazy ex who they despise and want nothing to do with. Yet she's always let me back in, she's always made my heart beat in a way that I never thought it could. She's made the coldest nights warm, and the most painful of injuries turn numb. But she lies. A lot. And I forgive her, I let her in, hell I let her walk all over me but she will suddenly claim one day a week that she wants nothing to do with me. This is how it's always been. But this week pretty much ended it all for good. Her dad got involved and all kinds of shit (even though we're both 19, yet her parents need to control her life.) So I'm left here alone, without even the utterance of a goodbye from the woman I've spent the last two years on. Trying to help her beat the battle of depression that I haven't even beaten myself. Tonight the war was lost. I'll send a link of this to her so maybe she can read it. Not that it matters, I've made this up before, but I'm truly going through with it tonight. I'm gonna smoke, then go for a walk, and never look back. Probably won't make it through the night. I love you..if you're reading this. It's not your fault, you've been the reason I've made it to this age. I would've given up before if it weren't for you. I hope you can find happiness, I know I did. I no longer feel pain,remorse,grief, anger, or anything. I've gone numb. I've given up. All that I really want now is to experience that pure calm of eternal nothingness.

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I thought people were supposed to glo up tbh i seriously have declined since 8th grade. it’s so bad i was looking at pictures of myself but i defensively peaked at 8th grade it’s so sad

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Deleted account Suicidal posthi. I tried to find a solution on reddit help. it suggested posting here. here is the post. If you know what to do please help: https://www.reddit.com/r/JordanPeterson/comments/cl833m/this_will_be_my_last_post_its_do_or_die/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

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A man walks into a bar Yeah, he did that crazy right?

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Help with SO who is suicidalHi guys, I am in a tough place right now. Quick background on me: I have moderate-severe clinical depression. Earlier this year I went to the ER twice for suicidal ideation; before that I had stopped eating and sleeping for three days at a time. I self-harmed every day. My symptoms are *completely managed* by now with meds and therapy and I no longer have suicidal thoughts. I just started dating someone (trans nonbinary, assigned female at birth) who has depression and suicidal thoughts that don't enter the planning/methods level of detail, which is good. I am struggling because my SO refuses to consider medication for reasons that aren't medically accurate, and relies on me to be their "antidepressant." (I make them feel good when we see each other.) Obviously, I understand how awful depression is and knew that going into this relationship, but my SO's refusal to get medical care for their depression/using me to make themselves feel better is really starting to take a toll on my own mental health. They got upset at me (over text) when I said I couldn't meet this weekend because I have midterms this next week (I am in a very involved premed program). They live about 90 minutes away, so most of our communication is via text/video calls. A couple nights ago we had this exchange: SO: I want to die me: Do you think you're going to hurt yourself tonight? SO: I'm already hurting myself me (at this point, shaking because I am upset and afraid they're attempting suicide/self-harming): How? SO: I'm trying to write an essay, I can't type both. A similar scenario has gone down a couple times; my SO saying they want to die/"end my suffering"/"end me" and then when I try to figure out what's going on, I'm called a "nerd" or told "stop worrying about me" (harshly) or even just ignored. One time, they said they wanted to kill themselves, I responded saying something like, there are other ways to make the pain get better, what can I do for you, and was met with "what are you going to do if I kill myself, spank me?" That message honestly made me sick to my stomach. I really care about this person but this is taking a serious toll on me. I understand what it's like to be in that dark, awful place but I feel like I'm being played with, especially with the suicidal comments that, when I inquire about them, I am met with sarcasm or teasing. It is hurting me. I have had the urge to self harm multiple times since I got into this relationship and have had to ban myself from going to certain places where I could obtain the means to do so. What should I do, you guys? I don’t know what is going on, I don’t know if my SO is being serious or messing with me, I don’t know how worried I need to be if their thoughts never enter the planning stage, and I don’t know if I should stay with them if this continues—not because they have depression, but because they won’t address it, against the advice of numerous medical professionals. We’ve only been together a month. I really like them and am willing to be there for support, but I’m not an antidepressant. I’m a person with needs and a history of severe depression. I really don’t want to fall back into hurting myself. Please help me figure out how to navigate this.

suicide

oh god mom found the cum drawer oh god mom found the cum drawer

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In less than 10 hours, I'm getting my wisdom teeth removed, and I'm so nervous I think I'm going to throw up I'm not a big fan of needles, ad that's probably why I'm freaking out so much. If anyone has any stories of them getting their teeth out that could help me with the nerves, that'd be great :)

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A Popular YouTuber committed suicide, and I'm really just thinking about myself.I've posted here before. Lots of times. I've gone on about why I feel suicidal and how I don't believe suicide is the wrong choice for some people. So don't think I'm only posting here because his death made me want to talk about things. Anyways, I admire his courage. I am far too afraid to kill myself, even though I know I should. I'm bitter that this person is getting so much attention on social media, so much *affection* on social media. I'm jealous. I want a modicum of that affection. And yet I know that if I got it, it wouldn't matter because I'll only accept it if it comes from certain people, the ones I seemingly arbitrarily decided to declare "important". I deserve to die and yet I live. When I'm gone I know no one will mourn the same way for me. P.S. I want to warn everyone on social media sharing the suicide hotlines and all that about how those hotlines are terrible for helping those in need as most of us have found out. But I don't want to deal with all that.

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I havent slept for 2 days I havent slept for two days straight and fell like shit, weak af cant move a muscle, should i sleep or nah.

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Can't handle my situationMy life is in shambles. But at the core is my looks, if I looked normal and felt normal I would be incredibly happy even with the million of problems that have built up. Because I know I can solve em. Instead I know that I'll just keep being incredibly miserable with no end, things can only get worse. Is there any method to overcome something like this? I keep thinking about suicide but I don't think I'll ever do it, yet I can't take it anymore either.

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My wife wants a divorce.. My wife and I are splitting up. Its because of years of me choosing weed over my family like my sons birthday, my anniversary, all of it... It's all my fault. The women that I spent 5 years of my life married too, had a wonderful unbelievably amazing daughter and son with.. Idk how to do this. All I want is to kill myself. I don't want to think about.. splitting up material bullshit.. or .. fuck man.. or even how we're suppose to talk to each other now. I'm madly in love with this woman but.. somehow it wasn't enough to overcome my own selfishness. I've ruined the only thing I've ever wanted, a real family. I don't know where I'm suppose to go.. how do I drive now that I'm leaving her with the car, the bills, the kids, my heart, fuck... everything is with this woman. I couldn't stand to see her happy with someone else, but I do wish her nothing but happiness. I just.. she's been kissing me and I was just told its because I want it. She doesn't even want to kiss me. I really fucked up. I don't know where to go from here. I don't know if I want more than what I've already taken in this life. I've struggled with chronic depression and suicidal thoughts my entire life, and right when I think that I'm finally over it.. this happens. I am the bad guy here. I know I am and no matter how many tears I cry it'll never fix what I once had. If I'm not going to kill myself, then I need to know how to do this. She works 40 hours during the week on days, and I work 2 12's on saturday and sunday so money isn't exactly easy to come by. What about my babies.. how does the mother of my children sustain their living situation and her own without me around to watch them while she works. I'm sure she'll find a way. I'm just really scared. I dont want to do this. I don't want this.. I'm so sorry.

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Is there a differenceIs wishing for cancer less suicidal than thinking about eating a bullet? I mentioned to a friend how life circumstances made me pray for a terminal illness and he acted like it was a big deal. I thought wanting to be dead was better than taking it into my own hands, and I've been using it as a way to stave off suicide. "Cancer happens all the time, all I need to do is wait.". But if one is as bad as the other...

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Depression is my life...I have had depression for the majority of my teenage to adult life. And I feel like I am at a loss; I have planned and contemplated suicide multiple times but always back out due to fear. I feel the NHS does not do enough until it is too late ( I am English.) I have no idea what to do anymore as I honestly do not know how to cope, I feel like I am at a loss and just existing until I die. I came here to see if anyone else is feeling the same or if anyone who has been through this and came out the other side. All I have that get's me through it is my beautiful girlfriend, family and my music (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IUS9yqVpxk) but I find it always ends up being about my depression, I am just hoping someone who reads this can help as I don't know what to do any more.... thank you for reading.

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