Prarabdha/Rick_and_Morty_Transcript · Datasets at Hugging Face

Unnamed: 0 int64 0 9.62k	episode no. int64 1 51	speaker stringclasses 976 values	dialouge stringlengths 1 1.81k
900	4	Jerry:	You do?
901	4	All:	Yes.
902	4	Jerry:	So I sold it? I sold the idea?
903	4	All:	Yes.
904	4	Jerry:	Oh my god! Thank you!
905	4	All:	shaking each others’ hands Thank you. You're welcome.
906	4	Jerry:	Hey! I just sold my first pitch!
907	4	Old man:	Slow down!
908	4	Woman:	Lookin' good.
909	4	Mailman:	My man!
910	4	Simulation Beth:	(at Simulation Smith house) answers phone Hello.
911	4	Jerry:	Guess who just sold the apples campaign.
912	4	Simulation Beth:	Who just sold the apples campaign?
913	4	Jerry:	Me! I guess it wasn't a rip-off of "got milk?" after all. Guess someone was wrong.
914	4	Simulation Beth:	Yes.
915	4	Jerry:	Well, all is forgiven, because right now, I’ve got an erection the size of an East Coast lighthouse, and I’m coming home to share it with my beautiful wife.
916	4	Simulation Beth:	Okay.
917	4	Jerry:	Wait, really?
918	4	Simulation Beth:	Yes.
919	4	Jerry:	Yes! See you in 10 minutes! hangs up, shouts Hey! I'm going to make love to my wife!
920	4	Woman:	Lookin' good.
921	4	Old man:	Slow down!
922	4	Mailman:	My man! glitches into a tree
923	4	Morty:	Aw, geez, Rick. I-I don't know if I like this plan,you know? I mean, crowds, t-t-t-they have a tendency to make me really nervous.
924	4	Rick:	Morty, relax. It's just a bunch of 1s and 0s out there. You're gonna be fine. (Lowers Morty’s pants slightly and puts a hat on him.) Just follow my lead. (Rick and Morty fist bump.) Yo, deejay, drop that beat.
925	4	Rick:	Uh-oh, Morty. This crowd looks too small for one of our famous rap concerts. I don't think we can perform our new song, "The Recipe for Concentrated Dark Matter," for a crowd this tiny.
926	4	Rick:	Now that’s more like it! Morty, here we go. Let me hear everybody say "hey-oh!" yeah! (Crowd cheers.) All the ladies say, "yeah!" (Ladies cheer.) Everybody over thirty, do this with your hands! Everybody with a red shirt, jump up and down! (People start glitching.)
927	4	Jerry:	kisses Beth, who is still in front of the phone Mm. Mm. Mm. Yeah, don't move. Mm, mm, mm, mm! Mm!
928	4	Rick:	Yo, everyone whose first name begins with an "L" who isn't Hispanic, walk in a circle the same number of times as the square root of your age times ten! (Simulation freezes. Rick and Morty jump offstage.) Run, Morty! Before the system reboots!
929	4	Jerry:	Yeah! You like that? Now who's unremarkable? You hungry for apples? Are you hungry for apples?!
930	4	Jerry:	Oh, my god. That's the best sex I've ever had in my life. It's… it's too good. I don't deserve this, Beth. I'm a fraud.
931	4	Morty:	Oh, man, Rick! W-w-w-where we running to?
932	4	Rick:	Out of the simulation, Morty. Normally, the chamber operates like a treadmill, with the virtual world disappearing behind us and being rendered in front of us as we move through it, but while it's frozen, Morty, we can get to…the edge. Here we go. jumps off the edge
933	4	Morty:	Holy crap!
934	4	Rick:	Come on, Morty.
935	4	Morty:	jumps off edge
936	4	Zigerion:	Sir, they're over the edge.
937	4	Prince Nebulon:	Yes, they are. Just as planned. evil laughter, others join in Oh, this is going to be such a mindfuck!
938	4	Rick:	Keep your eyes peeled for the central processing room, Morty. That's how we're gonna scam these idiots.
939	4	Morty:	So, hey, why do these aliens keep coming after you, Rick, if you're so much smarter than them?
940	4	Rick:	It's an obsession for them at this point. The Zigerions have been trying to outsmart me for years, Morty. Every time they do, I'm one step ahead of them. finds central processing room Aha! Here we go. starts collecting chips Grab as many processors as you can carry, Morty. These guys aren't good at much, but they're really good at making these chips.
941	4	Morty:	I’ve got so many, I can barely hold them all! holding chips in his shirt Look at, look at this. Oops. I dropped one.
942	4	Rick:	Don't worry about it, Morty. There's plenty of them, you little goofball. (Both laugh and toss chips at each other playfully.) Come here, Morty! Oh, I gotcha!
943	4	Morty:	Come on, quit it, Rick! Quit it!
944	4	Rick:	Nothing wrong with just a little bit of horseplay every now and then, little fella.
945	4	Morty:	Wow. What do you know? Huh. That was easy.
946	4	Rick:	Totes malotes, dawg.
947	4	Morty:	Just kind of hard to believe, you know?
948	4	Rick:	Believe it, Morty. And once again, I'm flying away with everything I can carry, and the Zigerions got nothing of mine.
949	4	Jerry:	Mr. Marklevitz, do you have a minute to talk?
950	4	Mr. Marklevitz:	snaps fingers Yes.
951	4	Jerry:	Look, I’m a fraud. I mean, let's face it. "Hungry for apples" is just a rip-off of "Got milk?" It's almost identical.
952	4	Mr. Marklevitz:	snaps fingers Yes.
953	4	Jerry:	Okay. I deserve that. Um, I guess I'll just pack up my desk.
954	4	Mr. Marklevitz:	snaps fingers Yes.
955	4	Jerry:	crying Oh my god. Wait. You know what?! No! The milk people don't have a patent on simple rhetorical questions! Y-You— There's not even a single word in "Hungry for Apples" that's shared by "Got milk?" It's a completely different slogan. It's different! And I shouldn't be fired. I should be promoted!
956	4	Mr. Marklevitz:	snaps fingers Yes.
957	4	Jerry:	Yeah! Wait. Really?
958	4	Mr. Marklevitz:	snaps fingers Yes.
959	4	Jerry:	Yes! I mean, it may be derivative, but it's the most successful campaign to come out of this agency in a long time.
960	4	Mr. Marklevitz:	snaps fingers Yes.
961	4	Jerry:	I-I’m not saying it should win an award for commercials, but it could certainly be nominated for an award for commercials specifically about apples, like an Appley or something.
962	4	Mr. Marklevitz:	snaps fingers Yes.
963	4	Jerry:	Is there really an award called the Appley for apple-related ad campaigns?
964	4	Mr. Marklevitz:	snaps fingers Yes.
965	4	Jerry:	Could we nominate me?
966	4	Mr. Marklevitz:	snaps fingers Yes.
967	4	Jerry:	Holy crap!
968	4	Rick:	Get in, Morty. I'm gonna be able to use these processors to make some real important science stuff. (Keypad beeps.) Huh. I thought I entered the code right. (Keypad beeps.)
969	4	Prince Nebulon:	Well, what's this? W-what could this possibly be? Because it looks like you're inside a simulation…inside a simulation. You're still on the ship. Game-day bucket go boom!
970	4	Cynthia	Sir, the, uh, doctor's appointment to examine the discoloration on your butthole flaps was—
971	4	Prince Nebulon:	Too loud, Cynthia. Too loud and too specific.
972	4	Rick:	Uhh…
973	4	Prince Nebulon:	We've known how to make concentrated dark matter for a long time. But now we also know the code to your fabled safe, Rick Sanchez! All your most valuable secrets will now be ours!
974	4	Rick:	Uh, yeah, until I get home before you and change the combination, you bunch of idiots!
975	4	Prince Nebulon:	That is why you're never getting home. Get them!
976	4	Rick:	RUN MORTY!
977	4	Morty:	Oh my god!
978	4	Jerry:	I got to tell you, this morning, I didn't even know this award existed. Now I'm holding one. And, um… Look, I want to say that today was the best day of my life But the truth is, it's, it's more meaningful than that.
979	4	Mailman:	My man!
980	4	Jerry:	Yes. Thank you, sir. I am finally complete!
981	4	Mailmen:	My my my my man!
982	4	Jerry:	Aah! What the hell?! (Appley award glitches out of existence.) No.
983	4	Rick:	Jerry?!
984	4	Morty:	Dad!
985	4	Rick:	What are you doing here? W-why are you dressed like a waiter? Screw it. We don't have time. Come on. starts dragging Jerry with them
986	4	Jerry:	sobbing No!
987	4	Rick:	Man up, Jerry! I may need you to work the lasers.
988	4	Morty:	Oh, man! They're hot on our tail, Rick!
989	4	Rick:	I guess they really do have concentrated dark matter.
990	4	Morty:	Well, you know how to make it, too, right, Rick?
991	4	Rick:	Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, check the engine room. We just need cesium, Plutonic quarks, and bottled water.
992	4	Morty:	Whoa! It's all here, Rick!
993	4	Rick:	Wow, Morty. Lucky break. Grab that bucket. Okay, two parts Plutonic quarks, one part cesium.
994	4	Morty:	Okay. Uh-huh. Alright.
995	4	Rick:	Now empty the water bottle into the bucket and pour it all into the fuel tank so we can get the hell out of here! What are you doing, Morty?! There's no time!
996	4	Morty:	freezes up
997	4	Rick:	Oh, no.
998	4	Jerry:	What the…?
999	4	Rick:	No!

900

4

Jerry:

You do?

901

4

All:

Yes.

902

4

Jerry:

So I sold it? I sold the idea?

903

4

All:

Yes.

904

4

Jerry:

Oh my god! Thank you!

905

4

All:

*shaking each others’ hands* Thank you. You're welcome.

906

4

Jerry:

Hey! I just sold my first pitch!

907

4

Old man:

Slow down!

908

4

Woman:

Lookin' good.

909

4

Mailman:

My man!

910

4

Simulation Beth:

(at Simulation Smith house) *answers phone* Hello.

911

4

Jerry:

Guess who just sold the apples campaign.

912

4

Simulation Beth:

Who just sold the apples campaign?

913

4

Jerry:

Me! I guess it wasn't a rip-off of "got milk?" after all. Guess someone was wrong.

914

4

Simulation Beth:

Yes.

915

4

Jerry:

Well, all is forgiven, because right now, I’ve got an erection the size of an East Coast lighthouse, and I’m coming home to share it with my beautiful wife.

916

4

Simulation Beth:

Okay.

917

4

Jerry:

Wait, really?

918

4

Simulation Beth:

Yes.

919

4

Jerry:

Yes! See you in 10 minutes! *hangs up, shouts* Hey! I'm going to make love to my wife!

920

4

Woman:

Lookin' good.

921

4

Old man:

Slow down!

922

4

Mailman:

My man! *glitches into a tree*

923

4

Morty:

Aw, geez, Rick. I-I don't know if I like this plan,you know? I mean, crowds, t-t-t-they have a tendency to make me really nervous.

924

4

Rick:

Morty, relax. It's just a bunch of 1s and 0s out there. You're gonna be fine. (Lowers Morty’s pants slightly and puts a hat on him.) Just follow my lead. (Rick and Morty fist bump.) Yo, deejay, drop that beat.

925

4

Rick:

Uh-oh, Morty. This crowd looks too small for one of our famous rap concerts. I don't think we can perform our new song, "The Recipe for Concentrated Dark Matter," for a crowd this tiny.

926

4

Rick:

Now that’s more like it! Morty, here we go. Let me hear everybody say "hey-oh!" yeah! (Crowd cheers.) All the ladies say, "yeah!" (Ladies cheer.) Everybody over thirty, do this with your hands! Everybody with a red shirt, jump up and down! (People start glitching.)

927

4

Jerry:

*kisses Beth, who is still in front of the phone* Mm. Mm. Mm. Yeah, don't move. Mm, mm, mm, mm! Mm!

928

4

Rick:

Yo, everyone whose first name begins with an "L" who isn't Hispanic, walk in a circle the same number of times as the square root of your age times ten! (Simulation freezes. Rick and Morty jump offstage.) Run, Morty! Before the system reboots!

929

4

Jerry:

Yeah! You like that? Now who's unremarkable? You hungry for apples? Are you hungry for apples?!

930

4

Jerry:

Oh, my god. That's the best sex I've ever had in my life. It's… it's too good. I don't deserve this, Beth. I'm a fraud.

931

4

Morty:

Oh, man, Rick! W-w-w-where we running to?

932

4

Rick:

Out of the simulation, Morty. Normally, the chamber operates like a treadmill, with the virtual world disappearing behind us and being rendered in front of us as we move through it, but while it's frozen, Morty, we can get to…the edge. Here we go. *jumps off the edge*

933

4

Morty:

Holy crap!

934

4

Rick:

Come on, Morty.

935

4

Morty:

*jumps off edge*

936

4

Zigerion:

Sir, they're over the edge.

937

4

Prince Nebulon:

Yes, they are. Just as planned. *evil laughter, others join in* Oh, this is going to be such a mindfuck!

938

4

Rick:

Keep your eyes peeled for the central processing room, Morty. That's how we're gonna scam these idiots.

939

4

Morty:

So, hey, why do these aliens keep coming after you, Rick, if you're so much smarter than them?

940

4

Rick:

It's an obsession for them at this point. The Zigerions have been trying to outsmart me for years, Morty. Every time they do, I'm one step ahead of them. *finds central processing room* Aha! Here we go. *starts collecting chips* Grab as many processors as you can carry, Morty. These guys aren't good at much, but they're really good at making these chips.

941

4

Morty:

I’ve got so many, I can barely hold them all! *holding chips in his shirt* Look at, look at this. Oops. I dropped one.

942

4

Rick:

Don't worry about it, Morty. There's plenty of them, you little goofball. (Both laugh and toss chips at each other playfully.) Come here, Morty! Oh, I gotcha!

943

4

Morty:

Come on, quit it, Rick! Quit it!

944

4

Rick:

Nothing wrong with just a little bit of horseplay every now and then, little fella.

945

4

Morty:

Wow. What do you know? Huh. That was easy.

946

4

Rick:

Totes malotes, dawg.

947

4

Morty:

Just kind of hard to believe, you know?

948

4

Rick:

Believe it, Morty. And once again, I'm flying away with everything I can carry, and the Zigerions got nothing of mine.

949

4

Jerry:

Mr. Marklevitz, do you have a minute to talk?

950

4

Mr. Marklevitz:

*snaps fingers* Yes.

951

4

Jerry:

Look, I’m a fraud. I mean, let's face it. "Hungry for apples" is just a rip-off of "Got milk?" It's almost identical.

952

4

Mr. Marklevitz:

*snaps fingers* Yes.

953

4

Jerry:

Okay. I deserve that. Um, I guess I'll just pack up my desk.

954

4

Mr. Marklevitz:

*snaps fingers* Yes.

955

4

Jerry:

*crying* Oh my god. Wait. You know what?! No! The milk people don't have a patent on simple rhetorical questions! Y-You— There's not even a single word in "Hungry for Apples" that's shared by "Got milk?" It's a completely different slogan. It's different! And I shouldn't be fired. I should be promoted!

956

4

Mr. Marklevitz:

*snaps fingers* Yes.

957

4

Jerry:

Yeah! Wait. Really?

958

4

Mr. Marklevitz:

*snaps fingers* Yes.

959

4

Jerry:

Yes! I mean, it may be derivative, but it's the most successful campaign to come out of this agency in a long time.

960

4

Mr. Marklevitz:

*snaps fingers* Yes.

961

4

Jerry:

I-I’m not saying it should win an award for commercials, but it could certainly be nominated for an award for commercials specifically about apples, like an Appley or something.

962

4

Mr. Marklevitz:

*snaps fingers* Yes.

963

4

Jerry:

Is there really an award called the Appley for apple-related ad campaigns?

964

4

Mr. Marklevitz:

*snaps fingers* Yes.

965

4

Jerry:

Could we nominate me?

966

4

Mr. Marklevitz:

*snaps fingers* Yes.

967

4

Jerry:

Holy crap!

968

4

Rick:

Get in, Morty. I'm gonna be able to use these processors to make some real important science stuff. (Keypad beeps.) Huh. I thought I entered the code right. (Keypad beeps.)

969

4

Prince Nebulon:

Well, what's this? W-what could this possibly be? Because it looks like you're inside a simulation…inside a simulation. You're still on the ship. Game-day bucket go boom!

970

4

Cynthia

Sir, the, uh, doctor's appointment to examine the discoloration on your butthole flaps was—

971

4

Prince Nebulon:

Too loud, Cynthia. Too loud and too specific.

972

4

Rick:

Uhh…

973

4

Prince Nebulon:

We've known how to make concentrated dark matter for a long time. But now we also know the code to your fabled safe, Rick Sanchez! All your most valuable secrets will now be ours!

974

4

Rick:

Uh, yeah, until I get home before you and change the combination, you bunch of idiots!

975

4

Prince Nebulon:

That is why you're never getting home. Get them!

976

4

Rick:

RUN MORTY!

977

4

Morty:

Oh my god!

978

4

Jerry:

I got to tell you, this morning, I didn't even know this award existed. Now I'm holding one. And, um… Look, I want to say that today was the best day of my life But the truth is, it's, it's more meaningful than that.

979

4

Mailman:

My man!

980

4

Jerry:

Yes. Thank you, sir. I am finally complete!

981

4

Mailmen:

My my my my man!

982

4

Jerry:

Aah! What the hell?! (Appley award glitches out of existence.) No.

983

4

Rick:

Jerry?!

984

4

Morty:

Dad!

985

4

Rick:

What are you doing here? W-why are you dressed like a waiter? Screw it. We don't have time. Come on. *starts dragging Jerry with them*

986

4

Jerry:

*sobbing* No!

987

4

Rick:

Man up, Jerry! I may need you to work the lasers.

988

4

Morty:

Oh, man! They're hot on our tail, Rick!

989

4

Rick:

I guess they really do have concentrated dark matter.

990

4

Morty:

Well, you know how to make it, too, right, Rick?

991

4

Rick:

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, check the engine room. We just need cesium, Plutonic quarks, and bottled water.

992

4

Morty:

Whoa! It's all here, Rick!

993

4

Rick:

Wow, Morty. Lucky break. Grab that bucket. Okay, two parts Plutonic quarks, one part cesium.

994

4

Morty:

Okay. Uh-huh. Alright.

995

4

Rick:

Now empty the water bottle into the bucket and pour it all into the fuel tank so we can get the hell out of here! What are you doing, Morty?! There's no time!

996

4

Morty:

*freezes up*

997

4

Rick:

Oh, no.

998

4

Jerry:

What the…?

999

4

Rick:

No!