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9.62k
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int64 1
51
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stringclasses 976
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1.81k
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|---|---|---|---|
700 | 3 |
Jacob
|
stands up and puts a hand on Ethan and Summer's shoulders Jerry, no disrespect, but you really need to connect more with your family, man.
|
701 | 3 |
Roger
|
I should be able to access the backup generator to get the growth ray back online. If it works, we'll be regular-sized in a few minutes. I just hope Ruben's not in a room with white carpets or upholstery.
|
702 | 3 |
Poncho
|
What the hell is that?
|
703 | 3 |
Dr. Bloom
|
The sphincter dam. We built it when Ruben became incontinent, but it was not designed to hold a corpse-load.
|
704 | 3 |
Roger
|
Almost got it. Everybody, move inside the circle!
|
705 | 3 |
Morty
|
Poncho? What is this in your backpack?
|
706 | 3 |
Dr. Bloom
|
That's bubonic plague! What are you doing with that, Poncho?
|
707 | 3 |
Poncho
|
Everybody get back!
|
708 | 3 |
Dr. Bloom
|
Poncho, you son of a bitch! You released the tuberculosis so you could steal from me?
|
709 | 3 |
Poncho
|
laughs That's right, baby. A lot of people would pay top dollar to decimate the population. I'll take the highest bidder. Al Quaeda. North Korea. Republicans! Shriners! Balding men that work out! People on the Internet that are only turned on by cartoons of Japanese teenagers! Anything is better than working for you! points the knife at Dr. Bloom You pompous, negligent, iTunes Gift Card as a holiday bonus-giving—
|
710 | 3 |
Morty
|
AHHHHH!!!
|
711 | 3 |
Poncho
|
Ah! Eh! Get! Get off! he backs up and falls over the railing Ahhhh!
|
712 | 3 |
Annie
|
You guys!
|
713 | 3 |
Roger
|
It's gonna burst! urges the others on Go! Go, go, go! pulls a lever before trying to run after the others but catches his foot in some of the machinery My foot is stuck!
|
714 | 3 |
Annie
|
No!
|
715 | 3 |
Roger
|
This is okay! It's okay, just go! Tell my family I love them! They may be hard to find because my wife kept her last name and she made the kids take it too, so, I dunno, you can—
|
716 | 3 |
Annie
|
No!
|
717 | 3 |
Jacob
|
Let me ask you something Ethan. Where's the anger coming from, man?
|
718 | 3 |
Ethan
|
From Summer being a total bitch!
|
719 | 3 |
Jacob
|
Where's the anger coming from?
|
720 | 3 |
Ethan
|
...My brother... took me fishing once...in the bushes... voice begins choking up as tears fill his eyes I can't... I can't! covers his eyes as he starts to cry He made me feel like a girl! sobbing openly I'm... m-made me a girl!
|
721 | 3 |
Jacob
|
He didn't make you anything, man. You are who you are. gestures to Summer She is who she is. Summer watches on with a sympathetic expression. Now you go to her. Brand new.
|
722 | 3 |
Ethan
|
Come here right now!
|
723 | 3 |
Summer
|
Oh my god, I'm so sorry Ethan! they hug I love you!
|
724 | 3 |
Ethan
|
I love you so much.
|
725 | 3 |
Jerry
|
Um...
|
726 | 3 |
Joyce
|
You did it again, cubby. Come here.
|
727 | 3 |
Jerry
|
No! Stop! I hate this!
|
728 | 3 |
Joyce
|
Well, Christmas doesn't revolve around what you hate, son.
|
729 | 3 |
Jerry
|
Well then, I hate Christmas! Enjoy being human! You guys are gross and lame.
|
730 | 3 |
Animatronic Ruben
|
My name's Ruben Ridley. You're inside me right now, but by the end of this journey, I'll be inside all of you.
|
731 | 3 |
Animatronic Ruben
|
My story begins in the dot com crash in the early '90s.
|
732 | 3 |
Annie
|
whispering to Morty You can put your fingers wherever you want...
|
733 | 3 |
Rick
|
through speakerMorty, you wanna put it on mute or something? Annie and Morty both look at Morty's helmet, startled.
|
734 | 3 |
Rick
|
I'm trying to concentrate.
|
735 | 3 |
Jerry
|
Ah, Rick?
|
736 | 3 |
Rick
|
holds up a hand without even looking over at him Not now, Jerry. I've got much, much smaller fish to fry.
|
737 | 3 |
Jerry
|
enters anyway I wanted to say I'm sorry I ever judged you. leans on the ping pong table, looking down at Ruben's corpse Right now, you're my sanest relative.
|
738 | 3 |
Rick
|
Relative... That's it! Relative size! Jerry, hand me a scalpel and a bundle of dynamite! into his headset Morty! Can you get to the left nipple?
|
739 | 3 |
Morty
|
Are you kidding? I'm hoping I can get to both of them, Rick.
|
740 | 3 |
Rick
|
through speakerMorty, I'm talkin' about Ruben's left nipple!
|
741 | 3 |
Morty
|
We need to get to the left nipple!
|
742 | 3 |
Dr. Bloom
|
The body is decaying! Bits of debris begin to fall from the 'ceiling'. The arterial transit system is useless! We can try the service shuttle. It's connected to the skeletal system. That's why we call it the Bone Train. to Annie Would you like to ride the Bone Train, miss?
|
743 | 3 |
Annie
|
If it'll get us out of here.
|
744 | 3 |
Dr. Bloom
|
How about you, Morty? Would you like to ride the Bone Train?
|
745 | 3 |
Morty
|
Why are you doing this bit? We're gonna die. Let's go.
|
746 | 3 |
Jerry
|
Well, I can see that you're busy... Merry Christmas, Rick.
|
747 | 3 |
Dr. Bloom
|
There's no autopilot. One of us will have to stay here and operate it manually.
|
748 | 3 |
Morty
|
...Uh, well...
|
749 | 3 |
Dr. Bloom
|
No, you're right. It was a dick move for me to even pause like that. This is all my fault. You go on.
|
750 | 3 |
Annie
|
points What the hell is that?
|
751 | 3 |
Dr. Bloom
|
E. coli outbreak. Hurry!
|
752 | 3 |
Dr. Bloom
|
Oh wait, there is an autopilot. E. coli surround him. WAAAIT! ...OKAY, NEVER MIND, I WANTED TO SACRIFICE MYSELF ANYWAAAAAYYYY!
|
753 | 3 |
Annie
|
They're chewing through the doors!
|
754 | 3 |
Morty
|
Euuuugh! grabs a fire extinguisher and beats the E. coli off the train with it We're in the areola, Rick! Almost to the nipple! But we're also in a really bad situation!
|
755 | 3 |
Rick
|
I'm almost there, Morty!
|
756 | 3 |
Reporter
|
Reports are coming in from across the country about what appears to be a giant naked man over the continental United States. We now go to Tom Randolph in New York. Tom?
|
757 | 3 |
Tom
|
Well, his eyes aren't twinkling, and his dimples aren't merry, but I'm standing under a nose like a seventy-mile cherry!
|
758 | 3 |
Reporter
|
Thank you, Tom. Let's go now to Eric McMan in Los Angeles.
|
759 | 3 |
Eric
|
We've got feet here on the West Coast, Bill! Giant feet, even relative to the giant man's size! And you know what they say about that!
|
760 | 3 |
Reporter
|
Well, if the old adage is true, one can only wonder what is going down in the Rocky Mountains.
|
761 | 3 |
Morty
|
Oh my god, the track!
|
762 | 3 |
Annie
|
It's Hepatitis A!
|
763 | 3 |
Annie
|
The nipple hole...
|
764 | 3 |
Morty
|
It's beautiful...
|
765 | 3 |
Annie
|
Aw no!
|
766 | 3 |
Annie
|
Whoa! It's Hepatitis C!
|
767 | 3 |
Morty
|
Um... We... Did we have some sort of relationship with him?
|
768 | 3 |
Annie
|
I... think they're just like that? I think they're just good guys.
|
769 | 3 |
Morty
|
Oh. Huh.
|
770 | 3 |
Rick
|
Where's Dr. Bloom?
|
771 | 3 |
Morty
|
Sorry Rick... He's dead...
|
772 | 3 |
Rick
|
Goddamn it, Morty, I ask you to do one thing!
|
773 | 3 |
Beth
|
Jerry doesn't know what he's missing.
|
774 | 3 |
Jacob
|
He'll come around, Beth. Christmas is a special time. It has funny ways of bringing families together.
|
775 | 3 |
Beth
|
I dunno, Jacob. Jerry got an invitation to be alive today, and he rejected it. I don't know if our marriage will—
|
776 | 3 |
Summer
|
It's raining blood!
|
777 | 3 |
Jacob
|
Listen, find Jerry!
|
778 | 3 |
Beth
|
Oh god.
|
779 | 3 |
Beth
|
Jerry!
|
780 | 3 |
Jerry
|
stands and hugs her It's alright! The TV says there's nothing to worry about.
|
781 | 3 |
Reporter on TV
|
The giant naked sky Santa has exploded. Blood and chunks of viscera are raining down on the country. Everything should be fine.
|
782 | 3 |
Summer
|
Dad, can I have my phone back?
|
783 | 3 |
Jerry
|
Sure, sweetie. pulls out the stocking and gives Summer her phone, then gives Beth her tablet Everybody, take a device. It'll help you relax.
|
784 | 3 |
Jacob
|
This is nice.
|
785 | 3 |
Jerry
|
Yeah. puts an arm around Beth and Jacob I guess we really learned something this Christmas, Jacob.
|
786 | 3 |
Summer
|
No we didn't, Dad. No we didn't.
|
787 | 3 |
Rick
|
Too bad about Dr. Bloom. Rick, Annie, and Morty exit the car He was a genius. The only man capable of creating a new Anatomy Park.
|
788 | 3 |
Annie
|
Actually, I studied Dr. Bloom's work. I believe I have the knowledge necessary to create a new, much safer park!
|
789 | 3 |
Rick
|
What about Pirates of the Pancreas...?
|
790 | 3 |
Annie
|
I think it was one of the most underrated attractions.
|
791 | 3 |
Rick
|
Booyah! Hold your breath!
|
792 | 3 |
Morty
|
Hey, wh-wh- What the hell, Rick? What the hell, man? I liked her! I really had somethin' going there, Rick!
|
793 | 3 |
Rick
|
Yeah, so I heard. You dodged a bullet, Morty, trust me. whispers Puffy vagina.
|
794 | 3 |
Morty
|
W-What's wrong with that? That doesn't sound like a problem to me! I dunno!
|
795 | 3 |
Rick
|
C'mon. Let's get some stuffing, I'm starving.
|
796 | 3 |
Rick
|
Oh, unbelievable. We got a bunch of robot computer people sittin' around with their faces stuffed in computer screens. No one acknowledges him. Do you realize Christ was born today? Jesus Christ our Savior was born today! A-A-A-Are you people even human? What kind of Christmas is this?
|
797 | 3 |
Annie
|
through speaker phoneHey Rick! Rick, can you hear me?
|
798 | 3 |
Rick
|
Loud and clear, Annie.
|
799 | 3 |
Annie
|
Great! We're also on with Alejandro, our Chief Imaginarian—
|
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