prompt
stringlengths 73
2.47k
| completion
stringlengths 71
279
|
|---|---|
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I'm also alive today
POST: This post reminded me of my experience:
Anyways, about a year ago my uncle gave me his old motor scooter.Tiny thing, might as well be on a pedal bike that can hit 40 mph. Anyways, I'm driving down one of the busy streets crossing one of 2 main streets running through my University. I was slowing down at the intersection because the light was red, but before I stopped, it turned green. Of course I accelerated, not thinking anything of it. It was cooler day, and my left hand was holding my hood tight so it wouldn't blow back.
I approached the now green-lit intersection, only to get a quarter of the way through it to hear a mini van honk at me. Of course I'm startled, doubly so since the freakin' thing is about to either hit me, or I was going to hit it. I swerved around the van and slid up on the seat a bit and hit my ribs on the handlebars. I looked back and realized the van either tried to beat the yellow light, or just wasn't paying attention. I was either going to be t-boned, or hit the side of the van, and flip over the hood. As bad as it is, I don't wear a helmet. I was so shaken up, realizing I likely would have smashed my head in to the pavement. Scary thought of what would have happened to me.
TL;DR: | I almost got hit by a mini van on my moped, serious trauma may have ensued. Could have died? IF YOU'RE ON THE ROAD, PAY ATTENTION! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Good guy girl troubles
POST: Reddit, I am currently in a predicament. A girl in my major (and every class with me until I graduate) has taken quite an interest in me since last spring semester. She wont leave me alone. The problem is, she is a really nice girl, but I'm not interested in her at all. We have many mutual friends so it's not like I can just disappear entirely. I am constantly bombarded via texts, facebook messages, invites to do this, invites to do that, and I have finally decided enough is enough. I am worried she is going to do something stupid, like confess her love for me. Its already getting worse. For our one class, I had told her I wasn't going to buy the book because it was around 180 dollars and the class was only 2 credits. Later that week we meet up to study and she says she accidentally bought two books and that I could have the second. How do I let her know I have no romantic interest in her without actually saying anything of the like.
TL;DR: | how does a nice guy subtly friend-zone an overly friendly, romantically interested girl he will have to see everyday for the next year? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [50f]mother went on a tirade against a [20f]close friend/roommate accusing her of neglecting and abandoning her cat . And refuses to acknowledge how rudely she went about it.
POST: So a close friend of mine we will call K used to live a house or two down from my mother. Her family still lives there but she moved out. K also has a 14 year old outdoor/indoor cat. Now this cat loves affection and will generally come to see anybody who wanders by. It also likes begging for food, even though it's well fed at home.
So this, coupled with k coming from a somewhat dysfunctional family, leads my mother to believe that the cat is being neglected.
Now, k moved out a few years ago to the city which is 400km away. And is now rooming with me.
She left the cat there. Half because it's a family cat, and half because most apartments she's lived in don't allow pets.
Now, recently. The cat has become sick and somehow K's family didn't notice. Be it because they thought the symptoms were because of age or being an outdoor cat, Or maybe it's just that K's family is actually being stupid/neglectful and not letting K know her cat was sick.
Now, my mother. Being a cat owner and being generally vigilant. Noticed this cat was very very sick.
And messaged me to let K know her cat was sick. Immediately after which she started calling the bylaw officer and asking online for the number to the pound. (It's a no kill pound)
And when K messaged her to ask her to stop and not call the pound so that she could figure out what to do, my mother accused her of neglecting and abandoning this poor cat. When K was not even aware of it being sick.
K then immediately got a hold of her family and set up an appointment at the vet.
Now. I don't disagree with my mothers intentions. The cat clearly needed help. But there was a better, more diplomatic method of achieving that than calling the pound when the cats owner lives with her son.
And it pisses me off that she refuses to acknowledge how rude and insensitive she was in doing this.
TL;DR: | friends cat got sick, Mother went on a moral crusade calling the pound over it and can't see why myself and others would be upset with her over it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28F] with my sister in law [28F], I want to be friends with her but not her brother. Help?
POST: Ok this is going to make me sound like a horrible person (sorry in advance). So I got married and I love my new in-laws (parents and sister) but the brother in law is verbally abusive, rude, and just a horrible person to be around. He's also very judgmental and will verbally attack people with whatever their insecurities are. I have pretty bad anxiety/depression that is under control with being around supportive loving people but I can't be myself around this guy at all. I want to get to know my sister in law more and go on trips with her with mutual friends since we're all the same age but I don't want to be around her brother at all.
Anyone deal with something like this before or is it the 'marry into the family have to deal with it' type of thing?
TL;DR: | I love my new sister in law and want to do things with her but not her brother. Am I obligated to invite him on trips? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] with my (now-ex) girlfriend [20F] of 2 years, she just broke up with me.
POST: Long story short, due to problems in our relationship that resulted in a breakup one year ago, her parents began to hate me. We rebuilt the relationship nearly immediately, and all was well, but they kept planting seeds of doubt. They told her I hadn't changed (though she wouldn't tell them that I had gotten medication and treatment), and that this wouldn't last.
She is from a very controlling family, who have been doing this to her for her entire life. They control every aspect of it, including what clubs she participates in, where she applies for research, whether or not she's doing enough in school etc. She is too afraid to challenge them, and so she didn't.
This last December we were great. Then we went on a month long winter holiday. Every chance she got to text me (she can't text me around her parents) she told me things would be fine when she got back. She shared date ideas, some sexual hints, and assured me we'd pick things up again just as they were.
She got back today. Through tears and final kisses, she broke up with me. She said she had hope, but lost it. And then she left. There are many painful details about our last hour together that hurt too much to even type. But it happened, and I'm in shock.
I'm empty, and I feel horrible. I'm moving universities (for mostly unrelated reasons but this sealed the case shut), but I need to last through this semester. I'm at a really difficult university, and I just need some kind words right now. I don't need advice to seek counseling, so please spare me that.
TL;DR: | I feel like shit after a breakup. This breakup came at the hands of my SO's parents, for the most part, and it kills me that I couldn't do enough to salvage the relationship. Please share some kind words. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Weird fits of excitement leave me twitching... what is going on?
POST: Whenever I become excited for whatever reason, or listen to good music, or are stuck in a daydream, I will trail off into these fits that only last a few seconds. I sometimes just stare off into the distance, or will occasionally twitch my fingers rapidly, or click my tongue repeatedly. I can usually catch myself in the middle of one and will stop. It can be embarrassing when someone catches me in one. Only people I know really well know I have them and besides these fits I'm a completely normal dude. I am just scared one day I will fall into one at the worst time, such as driving, or in front of someone I want to impress.
Some people have told me it may be Absence Seizures. I have read that during a Absence Seizure one cannot simply snap themselves out of it as I can. I guess I'm asking if anyone else has a similar issue, and if it is worth seeking a doctor. My mother was not a big believer in drugs and figured anything a doctor would give me would just "numb my brain" so I have never seen a professional. I have learned to cope with it and am just curious what others have to say I guess.
TL;DR: | I believe I have absence seizures, but I can "snap myself out of them" so is it really an absence seizure? Can this be defined, or treated, or coped with in anyway? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30/m] with my fiancee [30/F] says I disrespected her, shutting down
POST: Hey Guys. Short story here.
Been together for almost 4 years now. And last week I said something she took as disrespectful. I told her "you dont listen to me" out of anger and she took it as I was trying to control her and she told me she felt disrespected. This was early last week and since then she has been extremely distant. We went for a walk outside and she would talk to me, but not much. She told me today that she does not feel like cuddling or anything like that. I have told her I would hope she would be honest if she knew if this a deal breaker in the relationship and she said "why wouldnt I?" so I dropped it.
I also moved across the country from my place of origin to be with her (we live together) and I dont know if she really wants to be in this anymore and may be afraid of what I would have to go through to get my life back together. She has NEVER been like this in the relationship. We have had arguments and we have maybe gone a day without talking, but nothing this long and this extreme. I am not worried about her seeing or talking to anyone else, she is extremely loyal and honest. I do want this relationship to work and will do whatever I have to in order to move past this, but I dont know if she is willing to make the same sacrifice.
TL;DR: | Disrespected my fiancee, now has been a week of short answers, evasive conversations, and no physical interaction. Unsure of how to proceed |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] have been best friends with a dude i went to school with since 11 years old, a series of to and forth back stabs have completely torn relations to shreds.
POST: i haven't spoke to a friend of mine for coming on 6 months now because long story short; He back-stabbed me with things regarding my evil-controlling ex and bitching etc. so i fingered his ex-girlfriend who i think he still had feelings for at the time.
Now everything is a great big shit sand-which, i regret everything i did no matter what he did and i hate that i can no longer speak to a guy i knew since i was 11.
He is stubborn as a rock and i believe he is back in a relationship with the fingered ex. where do i start?
TL;DR: | he back-stabbed me, i went in way harder in retaliation, now everything's fucked and i want my friend back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Long term "girlfriend" [19] mad at me [19] for sexting with other girl.
POST: I'll give you some context first; I'll try to do so as compacted as possible.
After I broke up with my previous girlfriend, I stayed friends with her older sister. This grew into a de facto relationship. However, she never wanted to upgrade it to an official "girlfriend-boyfriend" relationship, because she didn't want to hurt her little sister- (and my ex)'s feelings.
This has been going on for a couple of months, and we are in love with eachother. However, her saying she doesn't want to make what we have into an "official" relationship means to me that she doesn't want to make it mutually exclusive.
So it happened that a few days ago I started to flirtateously sending facebook messages to a long term FWB, very very explicit messages at that. Now my "girlfriend" has read these, and she's super angry and claims to not even want to remain friends anymore.
Am I unreasonable for interpreting what she has been saying as a rejection of a mutually exclusive relationship? Am I in the wrong for pursuing other women? I understand her anger, as I would also find it devestating if she fucked any other men. But then why would she say she doesn't want a relationship?
Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | > *long term unofficial relationship with ex's big sister turns sour after she found out I had sexted another girl. Not sure if I'm in wrong.* |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 F] with my 2 month GF [23 F], friends, boundaries, expectations?
POST: I wrote [this] but things ended up taking a different turn. We talked about it and decided it was more important to trust each other than make rules, and we agreed and liked that idea but then somehow we came to the agreement that we were not going to hang out with just one person of the opposite sex alone. Groups are okay, same sex is okay, but not an alone person.
Personally I think this rule is a bit silly. While of course I don't want her to be hanging out with some hot guy alone all night, I trust her not to do anything, and I would hope she would do the same with me. But at the same time, I don't want her hanging out with sexy guys alone either, lol! And on top of that, my GF is bisexual, so would that mean that she can't hang out with anyone alone, lmao? The whole reason this came up is because there is a girl at my work that I became friends with (who is attractive) has been hitting me up sometimes to hang out. My GF doesn't want this single attractive woman to hang out with me by myself, but that would mean she can't hang out with her guy friend from work who has a GF too, right?
TL;DR: | I don't know what to think because this "rule" works in both our favors but at the same time is pretty silly. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21 M] ex boyfriend (since October) messaged me [20 F] for 'casual sex' tonight
POST: So like the title suggests I broke up with my ex in October (we were together about 6 months), and until last saturday I was single. I started chatting to a sweet, shy guy last saturday (he admitted he had social anxiety so I'm trying not to push anything beyond his comfort zone) and we've been messaging since then.
I went out with some uni friends tonight and my ex messages me out of the blue (we haven't been in contact since we broke up) asking for 'casual sex', naturally my instinct was to tell him to fuck off and delete my number, which I did. However his proposal has ruined my night as he thinks he can just have me back and that sex doesn't mean anything after all this time.
Although I rejected his offer I couldn't help crying and I guess I just need someone to talk to because it's 4.40 a.m here in England, my friends are asleep and I can't talk to the new guy because he already feels anxious enough and I don't want him to feel like he has any unnecessary competition. I'm not 100% sure this is the right sub but I'm hurting right now and just need to chat.
TL;DR: | My ex wanted to fuck, I've met someone new and refused my ex but I really hurt right now and don't want to worry the new guy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My manager of 1 year [34 M] is facing divorce and I [20 F] have no idea how to help him
POST: Over the past week or so, my manager has been horribly depressed. He wouldn't tell me what was wrong, but I expressed that I was worried about him and that I hoped everything worked out for him. A few days later, another manager told me and one other employee that he his wife was cheating on him and that she was planning on leaving him and their son. No one is supposed to know except for the managers (who only know because they are responsible for covering his shifts). He is seeing a psychiatrist because he says that if he's alone he'll "do something he'll regret".
He's also expressed surprise that the two managers who know have been checking up on him so much, saying that he didn't know that anyone at [work] cared about him. Now, this is upsetting to me, because this manager is quite possibly the single most important and influential person in my life. I love that man more than I love my own dad, and I would do anything for him, but because I'm not supposed to know whats going on, I've kept mostly to myself, though I did bake him cookies, as pathetic as that sounds.
I'm also really worried about pushing him too hard. I want to let him know that if he needs ANYTHING, all he has to do is call and I'll be there. I want to show him I'm here and that I care without being overbearing or pushy >.<
TL;DR: | Manager walked in on his wife with another man. He's missed almost a week of work, understandably, but he is convinced that no one at work cares about him (not true at all). |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (22/f) wanting to get our own place with bf (23/m) but he's starting to change his mind...
POST: Hey guys, I'm in a predicament...
Long story short, I've lived with my bf for a good year with roomates (his friends) and recently decided to renew the lease due to financial issues and now stuck with living at this place for another year.
Don't get me wrong, the roommates are good people and it's been a pretty good year, but to be honest, I'm getting sick of a messy house, constant dirty dishes, and lack of privacy anywhere in the house except our room. Needless to say, I'm ready for my own place with the bf.
Even though we have talked it over and he says he supports my decision, he recently made excuses that he "doesn't want to end up in a shitty apartment, he wants a house, he's afraid we might break up over financial issues if we can't afford the place", blah & blah.
He then goes on and keeps asking me why I want another place when it's so good here and he won't understand that it's always been different for me because we live with HIS friends. I've never felt completely comfortable at my own house and I would just prefer my own living space with my bf.
Sigh* Sorry for the long post. I guess I'm just frustrated that he says he wants to move out and get our place when it's clearly obvious that he doesnt. And prefers roomates.
Thanks for your time guys, I could really use some advice. I'm afraid our relationship will come to an end soon...
TL;DR: | Me and bf agreed to get our own place and he's now having second thoughts and won't understand why I want out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with my bf [24 M/] of 3 years, he cheated early in the relationship, should I still be worried 3 years later?
POST: 5 months after my boyfriend and I started dating, he went on a trip and I later found out he made out with a girl at a bar when he was drunk.
When he came back from his trip, he told me he loved me for the first time. (Before I found out he cheated). I found out from a friend of his. we briefly broke up, but he didnt give up on me and we got back together.
He later explained he would never cheat on me again, and that kissing the other girl made him realize he really wanted to be with me.
Fast forward 2 1/2 years and we have been very happy. We rarely fight and only have small arguments that we quickly get over. I'm pretty sure I trust him not to cheat again, but people always say, "once a cheater always a cheater" Is this always true? what's your opinion?
We have lived together for about a year, and since the incident, I have had no reason not to trust him.
TL;DR: | he cheated once when we first started dating, 3 years later we are very happy. Should I worry it'll happen again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by leaving my nipple hair on the table
POST: First post :), some background information: For some messed up reason, my nipples are extremely hairy, and they are actually the only chest hairs I have. "Oh my nipples are hairy too", no. I'm talking about a solid 20 black hairs on each nipple, some of which around 2-3 inches long.
So right now I'm doing my exams, and I decided, Hey lets procrastinate. I look around the room, oh look tweezers, maybe it's time to do the nips eh? So I start plucking way, ouch. My nipples start turning red. At this point, I've never seen my bare nipple in like 4 years, so this looks pretty weird to me. As I'm plucking them out, I leave them on coffee table to the right of the sofa. After pulling out around 37 hairs, I decide its time for a nap, then I'll study. I forgot about the nipple hair left on the table.
My mum comes home, and after about an hour of so starts shouting at me "Who's hair is this?!". Shit. I forgot about them. At this point, she's shouting at me, and I pretty much have to confess that I was just watching TV on the sofa, pulling out my nip hair. She gives me an earful of how disgusting that is (its just hair yeah..), and I end up scooping them into my hands and walking towards the bin. I look at my hand, the hairs are gone.
My nipple hairs are scattered over the floor, and I have no idea where they are. Oh well.
TL;DR: | Decided my nip hair needed a touch up, forgot about them, mum found out, dropped them on the floor, can't find them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23M) am having trouble staying in touch with my girlfriend (22F) who is going to school in Brazil. Help!
POST: We have been doing long distance for 2 years now and we dated for 6 months before it all began. We used to have skype dates and send pictures in a more intimate fashion, but lately she hasn't wanted to do anything. We barely skype and our conversations are becoming rutine. I often send her flowers and gifts and we travel somewhere together every 3 months or so. I work alot though. I do two weeks on 1 off and she is a full time student with research as well. This lack of intimacy has never been a problem before. I am giving her gifts, making more time for her, sending her pictures, and even learning portugues at what I believe to be an incredibly fast rate. I have tried phone calls, skype, letters, and gifts but nothing I do seems to make her feel more connected. What can i do?
TL;DR: | I really love this girl, but she lives far away and no longer wants to be intimate (skype/fun pictures). I miss the intimacy and can't get it back no matter what I try. Help :( |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My ex wants to get back together, I feel like he needs to prove it [23F, 24M]
POST: My ex and I dated for about 8 months before he broke up with me. We rushed into a relationship (due to deployment) without really knowing each other and ended up on different pages emotionally. After two months of no contact, we saw each other at a bar and began talking again. A few months later, he asked if I was interested in getting back together.
I am interested, but also suspicious. I'm not sure if I fully understand the situation, and he's a terrible communicator so it's been hard to gauge what his intentions are. I'm not sure if he really misses me and wants to try again or if I'm just a convenient option.
I'm willing to give it another try, but only if we want the same things this time. I would much rather date and take things *very* slow so I can make sure that he's serious about this before committing, but I'm not sure if that's a crazy thing to ask. I want to go back to square one and make sure that he's emotionally invested first so I don't get hurt again.
For me, this would also mean not sleeping together unless we are committed. I don't think this would go over well, but again, I'm just not confident that he sees a future here. Sex was such a huge part of our relationship last time, and we slept together on our first date. There was no waiting, and I was never nervous about him using me for sex but since he broke up with me, the thought has cropped up. I wouldn't expect him to be monogamous until we were actually together. If he only wants to get back together because I'm comfortable and easy, I'm not interested.
If a relationship developed organically from us dating again, I feel I could let go of the baggage of being dumped the first time around. If not, I avoid getting used. I'd feel better about the situation and not so insecure in my relationship. On the other hand, I feel like I'm playing games by withholding sex and commitment until he "proves" that he's serious. I feel like I'm being immature. Thoughts?
TL;DR: | Ex wants to get back together, but I'm not sure if he's serious. I'd rather take things slow. I don't know if I'm being manipulative by "testing" his commitment to this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Anybody have any experience with small claims court? [Question within.]
POST: My friend resigned from his job, and his former employer is withholding his last paycheck. He has filed a complaint with the department of labor for the state where he lives, but they said that could take up to 90 days to process and he needs the money now.
He has tried e-mailing and calling his former employer, but all he got was an extremely nasty, unprofessional, hurtful email in reply saying that the quality of my friends work was not good enough and that he should not be paid, along with baseless allegations of theft.
He wants to take up the matter in small claims court, but here's the big question: It's a franchise restaurant, and the owner of the franchise lives in California, but the franchise is registered in the same county that my friend lives in. If he takes him to small claims court, can he just file a complaint against the company itself, or does it have to be against a person in which case would he have to file it in California?
TL;DR: | Anyone ever filed a small claims case against someone out of state with in-state interests, and how does that work? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: How would you handle a man who has lied about his age? (F/29, M/??)
POST: Back story: I literally just started seeing this man, we've spent time together twice. He is handsome, and quite charming, but something seemed off. This weird suspicion just wouldn't leave me alone.
He is easy to locate on the internet, and some of his family history is easily fact checked via google, (Which I did openly and shamelessly, as I met this guy cold, outside of my social circle, with no one I trust to vouch for him.) and I'm a good listener, so I remember what he tells me about his past.
He is who he says he is, and all that, and his father is fairly high profile, including date of death. Now... here is where it gets tricky. He told me he was in his thirties, which is fine. However, for his father to really be his father, he'd have to be at least in his mid-forties, and that would mean he was born *right* as his father died. Meaning this guy is in his fifties, at least.
I'm in my late twenties.
I feel like I'm being played the fool. That this guy figures that the dumb 20-something won't put together that he is lying.
I'd rather not burn the bridge, even if to just maintain a professional contact. Normally age isn't a big deal to lie about, trimming off a year or two. But to start off getting to know someone with a two decade sized falsehood, I just don't even know.
If you were in my shoes, how would you handle this? What would you say? How would you say it? I don't want to come off like some wackadoo accusing him of lying right as we meet, but the math of his existence simply doesn't add up. Either his father isn't really his father, or he is 20-something years older than he says.
Thanks for reading, sorry if it got rant-y. I'm sad because I really thought he was nice.
TL;DR: | Just started dating a guy who is likely 20-Or-So years older than he told me. How do I ask him about the fact he has lied. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Troll mode activated: Ignored by boyfriend, any suggestions Reddit?
POST: *Should this go in /r/relationships? I'm new, go easy on me.*
So my boyfriend and I had a fight earlier, he left at 12:30 PM and we didn't speak until around 7 PM. He did not seem upset or sad, so I thought to ask if he wanted to see me like we planned. This is where he started to ignore me, upon which I got this really bad abstinence and have cried for like an hour because I feel so lonely and ignored by the only person who really cares about me. This is when I realized, instead of crying and texting him, getting my calls blocked etc begging for his attention, I should do something better. First I thought of texting his brother hinting to him we're breaking up (been considering it, just not entirely sure. He does care about me but it's just not working out lately) but then I figured I could do better and use some real trolling advice. Give me your best shot.
No, I'm not a bitch, or your generic attention whore. I don't intend to be mean, I just think he's purposedly breaking my heart because he knows I really need him when I'm in this mood. I just want to make him talk to me in a fashionably trolling way.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend's ignoring me despite knowing I need his comfort, hit me with your best shot at trolling to get him to talk to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 24F dated a guy 26M, now one of his closest friends is hitting on me what to do?
POST: okay reddit I need a quick answer.
Me 24F I met this guy went on one date been talling for a month had some bumps and i kind of feel that he is no longer interested he says he's going to text then he doesnt then explains that it was due to work.
Anyway his friend one of his closest ones had me on facebook, added me on snapchat and started talking casually with me. Should I tell them that I am aware that they're friends and tell them that they both hit on me? Or should i keep stuff to myself and stay in the shades?
Also is it okay to move forward with the second guy? As he asked for my number and I said no.
Btw i should mention that i dont think that the second guy knows about me and the first one
TL;DR: | Me 24F dated a 26M, now his one of his closest friends is hitting on me, what to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Need some help interpreting a thought I had today.
POST: Ok. So my girlfriend [18f] and I [19m] have been experimenting with our sexuality and just sex in general. In previous conversations she has expressed to me that she would like to try pegging, which I was very happy about, she also expressed to me that she enjoys guys cross dressing. That one I wasn't to keen on and I still am not, but I decided that I would be willing to do something like that for her. She is also pansexual (important background info. If ya don't know what it is a quick google search will help). I've expressed to her that I don't want to be emasculated and have no desire to be a woman and she knows that. I hadn't given the topic much though afterwards. It dawned on me today though that and this is gunna be simplified if she wants me to dress like a woman, and have sex with me like a woman (I mean this as in penetrative sex where I am being submissive and penetrated, the whole pegging part). The combination of all these things makes me feel like she would rather me be a woman sometimes. She has told me she has no desire for that but part of me just can't shake the feeling like she does. What do you think? Thanks for reading any advice helps. Have a wonderful day!
TL;DR: | The girlfriend wants me to play the part of a woman in the bedroom but is telling me she has no desire for me to be a woman. How should I interpret/ handle this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How can I get my brother to appreciate my dad? What can I do to show my own appreciation?
POST: My dad has always worked hard to provide my brother and I the best start in life. Rarely spending money on himself.
A couple years ago he was ripped off for most of his retirement savings in an investment gone wrong. There goes his dream of traveling the world for 10 years that he used to talk about all the time. And having already spent a lot of money on putting us through private school, still financing the family travels, still generously paying off some of my expenses (and not letting me pay him back).. money is sometimes a sensitive topic.
And my brother doesn't get it. He'll call my Dad a cheapass or lazy for not doing mundane things for him. Days after being bought a computer he needed. My brother doesn't have a job, doesn't put any effort into finding one, yet thinks nothing of using my parent's money/time. Wilfully wastes things. Steals small amounts of money/earphones/little things from all of us. He's almost 20 and spends his life (other than university) in his room and is completely deluded. Makes up his own reality - ie claiming tonight that he bought his own computer? Backtracking the justification as that he'd pay Dad for it if he had a job? Thinks he has the toughest life.
And I'm a 22 year old girl, but I've just never been that "affectionate". I love my parents but it's like there's some forcefield stopping me from walking upstairs an hugging my Dad.
So what can I do to show him he's appreciated? How can I pull my brother's head out of his ass to see how easy my Dad makes his life?
TL;DR: | Dad spends all his money on us, despite losing his retirement savings, and gets no love back. My brother actually disrespects him. How do I open my brother's eyes, and show my love? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Need some advice on methods of holding back!
POST: Hey guys, i am a 26 yr old female, i have been single for over a year and have been super comfortable with life being single, i got a puppy, planning a veggie garden and just pretty much got my life sorted again after a devastating heartbreak from my last relationship. Then just over a week ago (on my birthday) blind drunk i hooked up with an old friend i knew when i was 14 or 15. I had a crush on him back then, i thought it was just a teenage thing tho. I had an amazing night, although i don't remember a lot of it he did stay over and spent most of the next day with me (we didn't have sex and still haven't). We were texting throughout the week then Friday night we had a proper date. Everything i am feeling right now is pretty intense towards him and its kinda freaking me out, i want to be texting him all the time and its taking many forces of sheer willpower to stop me from doing it. I need advice from guys on what its like if they are always getting texts from a girl and advice from girls about how to stay cool and aloof, but still let him know you are interested.
TL;DR: | I need advice on what i can do to stop myself from texting a boy all the time and also on how to stay cool and aloof. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26F] do not want to go to my cousins [17F] baby shower
POST: Sometimes I'm very embarrassed of my family. My mother abandoned us a children multiple times for different men after having us when she was 17. My aunt followed a similar path, and my cousin began acting out when she was a preteen. I'd see her chatting on Facebook to adult men, and my aunt did nothing. She started smoking at 15, and my aunt did nothing. She dropped out of high school and ran away, then my aunt did nothing. In fact, when she ran away the last time, my aunt called my mother wailing about how "everyone abandons her", and I was disgusted my aunt made this about her.
When my cousin was young, she always said she wanted to be just like me, since I was the only person in my family to attend college and the only female not to have a baby outside of marriage or before age 18. Now, I'm pretty sure she has some type of narcisstic personality disorder. She recently announced she is pregnant with her boyfriend who has never held a job and is an overall gross person (he poops in buckets because he's too lazy to go to the bathroom sometimes) and my family is EXCITED about it. My heart is broken, she had so much potential and now is making the same mistakes as the rest of the family. I feel like my family thinks this is okay, because literally every other female in my family has done this same exact thing, and they've left behind them a string of broken relationships, abandoned children, and criminal behavior.
Long story short, I do not feel like I should pretend to be happy about something like this, when I'm almost positive my cousin did this on purpose, and my aunt allowed this to happen by letting the boyfriend move in when my cousin was 15/16. I love my family, but am I wrong for refusing to congratulate my cousin or attend baby showers?
TL;DR: | 17 year old cousin is pregnant and my whole family is so ecstatic about it, but I'm tired of pretending like their endless drama is OK. Wrong to take a stand on this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I want and I don`t want to break up with him! What should i do?
POST: Im 17(F) , he`s 18(M). We`ve been together for 1 year and 10 months. In the begining i trusted him and i believed that he loves me.
But about a year ago he stopped calling me, his behavior with me was very bad. It was like he didn`t want to see me and i was feeling really bad. I started asking him what`s wrond and ofc he said everything`s alright. But it wasn`t, A month after we talked about his behavior i found out that he was chatting with a girl from his school (we learn in different schools). I yelled at him and he said he will stop.
On the 14 February he invited me to his place. On the next day he went to school and i was still in his house and i checked his Skype and he was still chatting with her. It was obvious that he liked her. I started behaving really cold. A week after that i told him i read everything. He started apologizing and telling me that he loves me. I didn`t believe, but i didn`t brake up with him.
A month ago he started behaving like this again, but we talked and he started calling me and we started going out more often. But im still not sure if he loves me, even when he says he does. He even wanted to break up with me because i always say he doesnt love me.
We`re still together but I can`t trust him and i don`t beleive that he loves me. Always when he is with a girl i think that the same thing will happen. I never wanted to be like one of these girls who freak out about their bf, but i became one of them.
I want to be with him but i dont know if he wants to be with me and i dont want to look pathetic and chasing him.So redditors, could u give me advice?
TL;DR: | My BF started flirting with another girl, i didnt brake up with him but i started freaking out, because i want to be with him. I dont believe when he says he loves me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [15 M] with my friend and class mate [15 F] of two years, I feel like her boyfriend is a bad influence, he is a lier and a drug abuser, but I don't dare make a move because I have feelings for her.
POST: I have known Madeline for a long time and I know she comes from a nice home with a decent family background, but yet she decides to hang out with druggies and is dating one.
Her boyfriend has gone so far to almost OD and was hospitalized for several weeks for a "chemical imbalance", and he claims that he only smokes pot. I feel like he is lying and I don't want my friend Maddie to get involved in hard drugs herself.
She complains all the time to me about how he never text back, and about how he ditches school and stays at home to smoke pot.
But I also have feelings for her on a personal level, and I don't dare to tell her that her boyfriend is most likely lying to her for fear that I am just biased against him because I want to be with Maddie myself.
TL;DR: | Friend and girl I like is dating a druggie who claims to smoke pot, but I believe he has done harder drugs and is lying to her, don't dare to tell her for fear of my being biased. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: After getting 18/20 on a MENSA test, and scoring a 95% on my psychology test about memory, I somehow managed to lose $10 in my car between the speaker box, and pick up window in a drive-thru. Reddit, what's your best "I'm an idiot/this is ironic" story?
POST: In my psychology class we took a Mensa test to see how we process information and I scored nearly at the top with an 18/20. Then I got 95/100 on a test regarding memory and how we encode, store, and retrieve it.
2 hours later at a Jack-in-the-box drive thru I order my food, take out my money, drive 10 ft forward, realize at the window I don't have the money, then proceed to park and search for the money in my car for 15 minutes while the workers stare at me and my stupidity. I left in defeat and after searching some more at my house I still haven't found anything :(
TL;DR: | Workers at my local Jack-in-the-box think I'm an idiot, and some where in my car a $10 bill went into hiding. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My boyfriend accidently stepped on the family pet and killed him. Reddit, what's been the most destructive yet honest mistake made by a guest in your home?
POST: Years ago, when I still lived with my family, my boyfriend was over and was making us a big pot of oatmeal. Our little budgie (aka a parakeet) was very personable and always wanted to be on somebody's shoulder. He attempted to climb up my boyfriend's pantleg to get to his shoulder, but my boyfriend didn't see him because he was holding a big pot of water and stepped on him. Unfortunately, it didn't immediately kill him, and he suffered a lot before we were able to get him to the vet's where he finally went.
Being that he was the only pet we ever had, my sister and I mourned pretty hard as well as our parents. My boyfriend left the house as soon as I went to sleep that day and felt too guilty to talk to me for the following two weeks. No one (that I know of) was mad at him or spoke of the incident ever again.
This was about 7 years ago. The boyfriend and I broke up later that year for reasons unrelated to this incident, but he still mentions how bad he feels from time to time. We're still friends.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend stepped on my beloved bird and killed him. Myself and my family never held it against him, but he won't forgive himself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: When is it not time to "fight" for someone?
POST: I will try to explain as best I can. I am a 26 male and she is a 23 female.
We have been playing around together for a while now, bene-friends if you will. Everything has been going smoothly for the past 3 months now. We have known each other for about 2 years now, only in the past 3 months have we been sleeping together.
That is to say until a new guy came along in her office, they started hanging out more and we started hanging out less. Though we kept the same arrangement, they have not slept together but have gone out on dates.
I am sitting here wondering if I should say something, tell her that I had started to develop something in my mind that is more than just what we are now.
TL;DR: | 'Friend' is starting to date another guy while still sleeping with me, I want to tell her how I feel. Should I? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] with my ex [19 M] of six months, life changed for the better right after she left me.
POST: I'll keep a long story short, we had a great relationship up until the past couple weeks. My depression and lack of motivation was too much to her to handle, and I don't blame her. I turned into an awful person, someone who I don't even consider to be me. Not even 2 hours after she left me in a teary breakup, I got a job offer with a dad's friend. It's not the most glamorous job, but I can start saving and taking college courses while I try to find out what I want to do for a living. It was some of the best and worst news of my life in the same day, but I already feel so much better. I'm really excited for the job, and I have a newfound sense of motivation I haven't had in months since my military plans fell apart. I know she still does care about me, but my life did a complete 180 in a day. I know it might be too soon, but I really think the relationship can be salvaged. What do you guys think?
TL;DR: | depression drove girlfriend away, but i got a job offer and a whole bunch of new doors opened up. no longer depressed, and i think relationship can be salvaged. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Relationship issues have wiped out my [23M] appetite, I can't eat without vomiting my food back out, please help
POST: I'm planning on breaking up with my girlfriend soon and this entire situation has thrown me into a depressive spiral.
I have eaten about one meal per day for the past 5 days. My sleep schedule is destroyed and I am only getting 3-4 hours of sleep each night and lying in bed through the afternoon. My stomach is in pain but I am not hungry, I've eaten a few meals with my family just to have to excuse myself to the bathroom because it won't stick. I've also been dry-heaving just thinking about how shitty the reality of the situation has become. This is freaking me out because it's never happened before, I have no history of disordered eating or depression like this.
I'm going to be going out with friends this weekend and I want to be well enough to have a good time and take my mind off of things. What do I do to begin stomaching food again?
TL;DR: | shitty breakup about to happen, can't eat, can't sleep, need help being able to eat food without puking it back up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 24/M just broke up with me [23/F] after pressuring him to decide what he wants.
POST: I decided to ask my bf of 2 months to make a decision on whether he wanted to be in the relationship seriously or not. I was at the point where I knew I would start getting emotionally invested and something in my gut told me that I had to make sure he was on the same page as me.
He avoided answering the question and said he wasn't sure. Finally I pushed him so much that he decided he didn't want to be in the relationship anymore and that he didn't see any long term potential. He feels that I gave him an ultimatum and he felt pressured to make this decision.
I didn't want to break up, but I also don't want to be with someone who isn't interested in being with me. I know we were only together a short time so it shouldn't be too hard to get over, I just have this nagging guilty feeling like it was my fault. I keep thinking we would probably still be together if I hadn't pressed the issue. Despite this, I know it's probably for the best, because why be with someone who can't even be sure they want to be with you...
Just wanting some ears for listening and maybe perspectives from others that have gone through something similar.
TL;DR: | I pressured my bf to decide if he wanted to be with me and is serious about the relationship and he decided to break up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: (25M) Obtained feelings for a woman (23F) I did not know was engaged but still told her that I was interested in being more than that prior to knowing. Do you think she will still want to maintain the friendship, would you?
POST: We both go to the same school. We would occasionally have classes together and since I first had her as a classmate (4yr ago) I have been wanting to at least introduce myself and talk to her. However she was always to herself and seemed to put her studies first so I never saw an opening to do it.
More recently we had the same class and the same lab (<1yr ago). For one experiment we were in the same group and that's where I saw a chance say hi, talk, and eventually get her number.
We have been talking back and fourth since then (as friends). More recently I asked her to have lunch we me over winter break, the text was a little bit more assertive then I have been in others. I think she got the gist in which she mentioned she had move in recently with her fiance and time wouldn't allow for us meeting over break but we could chat in school (we both are still attending).
I replied with a text agreeing that meeting up at school would work out the best, congratulated her on the engagement and apologized if any of my previous text had been inappropriate. She responded that none of them had been and they were "sweet and thoughtful".
I guess some of the feelings I have may be disappointment with myself, maybe had I said something back then things could have been different. However I would like to maintain the friendship, I have enjoyed the conversations we've had so far.
TL;DR: | Would it be good to maintain the friendship or should I just let that go, do you think she would still like to be friends, would you? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My grandmother was just conned out of thousands of dollars by someone posing as her grandson's lawyer. Is there anything we can do to track this guy down and get the money back?
POST: Long story long, apparently this guy called my grandmother today and told her he was her grandson's lawyer and that her grandson wrecked a rental car in NY, is in the hospital, and needs money to get medical help. He told her to transfer something around 2 to 3 thousand dollars to someone via Western Union. She did. He then called again some time later and said that her grandson needed more money due to legal fees and to transfer the money, again somewhere around 2 to 3 thousand dollars, by the same means only to a different name. She, again, did what he asked. Sometime later this evening she finally calls my mother and tells her what had happened and if her grandson was ok. Of course, everything was ok, and her grandson wasn't even anywhere near NY. They call the police and tell them about everything that happened, and the police essentially said there's nothing they can do since it was an anonymous cash transfer. Needless to say, I'm pissed. I know there are people out there capable of doing heartless shit like this, but it's still hard to believe these guys can actually live with themselves. I'm also pissed because it seems like the police have just shrugged their shoulders and said we give up. Does anyone here know if there's anything we can do to try and catch this guy? I feel like the police are just giving us bullshit excuses because they think it's not worth the trouble.
TL;DR: | My grandmother was conned out of thousands of dollars and the police say there isn't anything they can do because it was an anonymous cash transfer. Is there anything we can do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Employer denying my sick leave before fiscal year end
POST: I'll try to keep this as brief as possible.
I work for a large, publicly traded company. Our fiscal year end is 6/30/11. As a California employee, my company gives us PTO and sick leave. They are separate and sick leave does not carry over. (Employees in other states only receive PTO, but the total # of hours are the same as my PTO + sick leave) I took some sick leave this week, and noticed that it appears to be taken out of my sick leave for FY2012. I had time remaining for FY2011 that I was trying to finish using up.
I emailed HR and a "payroll specialist" emailed me back informing me that the last day to report PTO for FY2011 was 6/26 because the week of 6/27 is the beginning of another payroll period and signifies the first payroll period for FY2012. The "payroll specialist" informed me that the sick time I reported earlier this week would be taken from my FY2012 hours.
Is this legal? I understand how it is convenient for them to make these cutoffs, but am I entitled to the sick leave that i didnt take until this week?
TL;DR: | Took sick leave during FY2011 but payroll schedule is already in FY2012, and subsiquenly lost sick leave from FY2011. Is this legal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [Pennsylvania] Requested copy of lease, leasing company has no record of me living in house
POST: I live with three other people. I signed a myriad of paperwork, name changes/addendum, etc. to move in this past summer. The lease was for a year. After a few months of living and attempting compromise, I have come to realize I cannot live in this house anymore. Roommates have pets in the house (they are supposed to pay a fee, but lied to the leasing agency and kept them anyway) that urinate all over the place and refuse to clean it up, among other "petty", gross habits they have. Not only is the house a disgusting hole to live in, I am surprised if it is even up to code (bathrooms have no working ventilation systems, no windows), mold in bathrooms, etc.
I contacted the rental agency so I could get a copy of my lease to read over it and see if there was anyway I could get out of it. It was at this point that they let me know that they have absolutely no record of me living in the house, aside from a credit check they ran on me. Furthermore, they said that they never even received a lease renewal form for anyone else for this year. My roommate claims to have handed in the paperwork over the summer and this is the first time I am hearing anything of this.
My question is: what can I do in this situation? Apparently, I am not on the lease. I have no clue where the paperwork I signed to put my name on the lease or my copy of the lease is. My roommate said she turned it in (and they ran the credit check, so they must have had something), but the leasing agency still has the previous tenants on the lease. Can I use this to my advantage and move out after I find another place? If I did this, could someone come back to me asking for money? I just want to find out what my options are.
TL;DR: | Looking to move out, find out current leasing agency has no record of me even living in my house. What can I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dear Reddit What is your best "ran out of gas in my car" story?
POST: My story: My car was about to hit 100,000 miles and I along with my two passengers (my brother and a girl) were too excited to notice that we had almost no gas left. Then we hit about 8 straight miles of solid traffic, barely move for 45 minutes. Odometer hits 100,000 miles and everybody is excited.
Suddenly, the car turns off. I turn the key, it starts up goes a few feet, then turns off. Panic begins to set in. I've just run out of gas for the first time. It's pretty dark and the temperature is about 40°F. Nearest gas station is about 4 miles away. I have T-mobile which means no service, my brothers phone has no charge left, and the girl doesn't have a phone.
I tell them to wait here and lock the doors, I would go to the gas station and grab some gas. I start walking to the gas station and
about a mile in I'm freezing, cant feel my hands, face or legs. Suddenly, a car pulls up next to me with about four people in it and they ask if I need any help. I ask if they could give me a ride to the gas station nearby and they say sure.
Turns out that while the driver was somewhat sober the rest were piss drunk, and all had open containers of beer. Just as we pull in to the gas station the girl in the back just drops to the floor of the car spilling beer everywhere. Driver looks back and just says: "fuckin Jules." What I didn't notice was that the Jules had spilled beer all down the front of my pants in a perfect pissed pants pattern. The few minuted I had spent in the car did little to relieve the lack of feeling in my legs and I didn't even feel the beer hitting my legs.
I proceed to calmly exit the vehicle and thank them for the ride and thank Jules for her company. At which point I entered a fairly busy gas station, waited a few minutes in line and purchased a gallon of gas. All with a massive piss pattern on my pants.
Then I walked back 4 miles to my car in the cold.
TL;DR: | got a ride from some drunk strangers, got beer on my pants in a pee formation, walked around a gas station with pee formation on pants, froze my ass off. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 F] with my Boyfriend [23 M] 3 months, he wants me to stop being friends with his brother because his brother is in love with me?
POST: My boyfriend Jesse and I have been together for around 3 months, I've known his [30 M] brother Steven for about a year with which we have become very close friends and have been through a lot. About the time I got together with my boyfriend, Steven started to say he had strong feelings for me and that he had been in love with me for a while.
This makes my boyfriend really angry and he doesn't handle his anger very well, he starts fights with his brother accuses him of things and degrades him. I don't know how I can convince my partner that Me and Steven are friends and just friends only. Steven tells me I should breakup with my jesse because he says he doesnt care about me and is only using me. I really have no idea where i should go from here because i really do not want either of them to fight but i also dont want to not be friends with someone just because my partner thinks its innapropriate if steven likes me more than friends.
I should also add that before me and jessie got together i used to hang out a lot with steven but back then i didnt have any feelings for jessie. Jessie didnt like me hanging out with steven back then and he used to be violent and break his things. i.e computer, headsets, and a big dent in stevens car and a lot of other things too.
TL;DR: | How do I (19 F) convince my boyfriend (23 M) I am just friends with his brother (30 M) and nothing more? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25/f] feel concerned about my [24/m] boyfriends involvement with his ex.
POST: My partner and I have been together for a few months now. We're still going through the getting-to-know-you phase, and so far things are going pretty well.
He and I both have children from previous relationships, which means we both have to keep contact with our exes. The issue I'm having is that he seems to be very involved with his child's mother, as well as other exes he has. I'm not really concerned that he's doing something wrong, but it seems a little off. Last night he stayed up texting his ex because apparently she and her fiance had broken up. That really really bothered me, and I'm not sure if it was okay. I have an ex and we're friendly, but I don't feel like it would be appropriate to sit on the phone with him for a few hours. It almost feels disrespectful?..I'm not really a jealous person, but it made me feel awkward, especially because we were hanging out last night and he was on the phone the entire time, so I just went to bed.
I'm really uncertain about bringing this up. Should I? I know it's his ex and his child's mother, and it's been so long since they were together that they've worked through most of the anger towards one another, but I feel like he would be really upset if I had done that with my ex. How should I bring it up? Is this even a reasonable concern or should I just let it go? I think one of my main concerns is that she's reaching out to him in a way that seems inappropriate to me, and with him making himself available to her in that way makes me feel uneasy.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is still very involved with ex and it makes me feel uneasy. I'm unsure about how to bring it up, or if I even should. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend has incredibly low self esteem. What can I do to help?
POST: As the title says, my girlfriend has really low self esteem. At first I thought it was the same "oh I'm fat" kind of thing, but the longer we've been together, the more I realize it's a serious problem for her. Sometimes she can't help but cry because she feels so fat and ugly. I love her very much and try to remind her of that and the fact that she if beautiful to me, but I don't really know what else to do. I have suggested to maybe talking to a psychologist about it, but she thinks it will cost too much money and is hesitant to do it. Is there any advice you can give me to help relieve some of her pain? We are both in our early twenties and, although we have only been dating a few months, we have known each other for a few years.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend has incredibly low self esteem and I'm looking for any advice on how to help her feel better about herself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] having trouble with my Mum's [55 F] new boyfriend
POST: So, in a nutshell, around a year ago my parents broke up. It was expected, and for the best. However, the way it ended really got me. My whole life I've built my Mum up, and she cheated on my father, and lied to me on several occasions about it, which left in me in shock for quite a while. I have trust issues, and she was one of the main people I trusted.
Fast forward to the present, we've healed and I forgave her a while back. The thing is, her BF is the person she cheated on my father with. I'm glad that she's happy, but I avoid spending time around him, I don't trust him because he knew what he was doing when he did it. And now that my old house is nearly sold, I'll have to live with them (Dad is going out of the county).
I just don't get how we're going to get along, especially if I don't get into Uni.
TL;DR: | Don't get along with Mums BF (guy she had affair with), going to have to live with them, help |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (26F) am jealous of my boyfriend's (28M) ex girlfriends' bodies and it's driving me crazy.
POST: My boyfriend is an attractive guy. Needless to say, all his ex girlfriends and flings are flippin' gorgeous with amazing bodies. One of his ex girlfriends was actually a model for Sports Illustrated, so yeah. I am a fit girl and I am attractive, but I do not compare to these girls. For one thing, my boobs are much smaller. I can say, though, that my personality kicks all of their asses, so I've got that going for me. Haha :-/
I've never felt insecure in any of my relationships until now and it's driving me crazy. I haven't actually mentioned my insecurities to my boyfriend because I know how it will come across and I know that sort of thing can be super unattractive. I guess I'm just wondering if there is any way I can get over this or am I just doomed with these terrible thoughts forever? Does anybody have any tips n' tricks for me?
TL;DR: | My insecurities are getting the best of me when I compare myself to my boyfriend's beautiful ex girlfriends/flings. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: reddit, how do I deal with my insane, elderly coworker?
POST: So, she sits five feet from me.
I was moved into a shared space with her about a week ago. I knew from the get-go it was going to be hard... she is a complainer, hard for everyone on staff to deal with, and the like. We have a very close-knit group otherwise.
She likes to:
-talk to herself out loud, approximately an hour a day combined
-she clears her throat THREE TIMES A MINUTE. ALL DAY. ALL. DAY.
-she incessantly stops me to tell me about her lunch. In detail. Using phrases like 'just a really nice sandwich'. I want to be editing video and doing social, not pretending to care.
Before I paint the picture that I'm a monster, I am not. This is NOT a kindly old woman. This is the bingo hall type. She recently was bragging about how she was going to make a man cheat on his wife. She complains about everything (irony, I know, relax), and she, to customers and vendors, loves to talk about how everyone here 'treats her like a piece of shit and fuck them.' Legitimately just not a good person.
Yesterday, I was concentrating incredibly hard on a project, so I wasn't focusing all of my energy on not yelling at her. She interrupted my for the fourth or fifth time saying it was 'unacceptable' to have my computer on the floor beside my desk. I almost just told her to fuck herself. So close. I can't do that.
I know I sound like an entitled brat- but I have normal, although occasionally conflicting relationships with everyone here. We all work through it like normal coworkers. This woman is the anomaly. I want to stop coming to work.
Please reddit, tips. Please.
TL;DR: | elderly coworker is both overwhelmingly irritating and a genuinely bad person. I will snap soon and hurt my career. What fucking do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I get over my GF's number?
POST: Some background information, I'[m] 21 and she is 22. We have been dating for a bit over a year now and about a month ago we started an LDR (both got different jobs out of college, she left I had to stay) where we will not be able to see each other until Jan. She has been my only partner, where as she has had 6 others, I know this number is not allot but to me it is still quite a few.
I love her very much and whenever I'm around her I want to spend my as much time as I can with her. But whenever we are apart I cant get over that I am number 7. I know that there are times when she looks back fondly on sex with other people and that hurts, I know this may be immature but it is how I feel, I've spent a long time trying to get over it and she is fairly dismissive (it's the past, I cant change it, get over it) the one or two times I briefly brought it up. Even some times when we are together or intament it briefly hits me, I am not special she has had this before I'm just the next / last in a line. I also know a few of her ex-partners and have a very vivid and sometimes uncontrolled imagination, this also is not fun a contribution to the issues.
This feeling really hurts allot, and I'm worried our relationship cannot survive my insecurity's with such a distance between us. The problem is I don't see myself with anyone else she is almost perfect, but I don't wanna wind up resenting her. There are times when I almost wanna take a break, sleep with a few other people just so I get the fuck over it. But I also know it would have to be a one sided thing, I couldn't get back with her if I knew there was someone else, again immature but this is just how I feel, and it would not be fair or even feel alright for me to make it unidirectional.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend has had multiple partners in the past where as I was a virgin and it could threaten our LDR. How do I get over this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Is it a normal thing to be 24 and scared as f*** for the future / to turn 25?
POST: I recently turned 24, and it's just starting to hit me that this is the end of my younger years. 25 seems like such a big jump. It's like the "official" start of adulthood.
I feel like I'm nowhere near as far along as I thought I would be when I was younger. Even though I live on my own in a new city with my gf (who is 2.5 years younger than me), have 2 jobs (both part time, but im working on getting full time at one of them), I just feel like I should've been doing this years ago. I dont have a career, I'm not ready for marriage, I don't have a car, etc etc.
I feel like I cant see my future. Time is moving by faster than it ever has, and I feel like there's nothing I can do to stop it / change anything.
I feel so alone. My one job is at an office so there I only work with older people, and my other job is retail so there I only work younger people. Its either my co workers can't relate to me, or I can't relate to my coworkers. It feels like going through puberty all over again. Literally, where are all the mid 20 year olds??
To my fellow 24/25 year olds, do you find yourself feeling the same as me??
To everyone who has been through 24/25, did you feel the same as me? Is there light at the end of this? Does everything finally come (at least somewhat) together?
TL;DR: | I'm currently 24, and 100% scared to turn 25. I feel like I'm nowhere as far along as I thought I would be. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriends new found 'noisy' eating habits pushing me to my limits.
POST: So my girlfriend (23F) and I (25M) have been together for a little over a year and all has been relatively well. There's been small hiccups along the way but nothing major. She recently moved into a new apartment and I basically live with her since I spend every night and the majority of my days there.
I am a very quiet guy and tend to take great care in keeping the noise I create to a minimum. This isn't just because I'm a quiet person but a habit out of my upbringing. I was always told to chew with your mouth closed, don't scrape the fork with your teeth, don't slurp, pick up your feet and don't stomp when you walk etc. My biggest pet peeve is people who chew loudly/ chew with their mouth open. I've tried trying to ignore when people do this but it just drives me insane.
My girlfriend was very similar to me in her old apartment. Quiet, well mannered, and very polite. Since moving into the new place she has developed several habits that irritate me to the point of wanting to end our relationship. She has started chewing with her mouth open, scraping her teeth on forks, drinking excessively loud especially when she swallows among a few other things. I've pointed this out because their the biggest issues for me.
I've attempted to bring this up to her in a way that I figured that I wouldn't come off as rude but it just ends up with her getting mad at her saying I'm 'too critical of her.' She's correct to a degree but these habits never used to exist at all (I wouldn't have dated her this long if they were) and I feel like I'm not being too needy wanting her to try and correct this bad habits.
Is there anyway that I could persuade her to try and correct these nuances without her flipping on me everytime?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend developed irritating eating habits after moving and flips out every time I bring it up, considering ending relationship because of it. How to fix? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26F] with my boyfriend [27M] 2 years, broke up and he wants to get back together
POST: My bf and I have been together a little over 2 years and have been friends for about 5 or 6. He's a great guy and we have a lot of common interests but he is horrible with money and the thought of a future with him is just such a turn off because of it.
I don't want to sound shallow, I don't need someone who makes a lot of money/rich but someone who can support themselves financially, pay their bills on time, not over draft their account every other day would be nice.
I pay my bills each month and am financially independent. He can't even get a credit card due to credit ratings.
I ended it about 3 weeks ago stating that i just don't see a future and I was really broken hearted about it. I have never been so upset about a relationship ending and I was the one that did it. I have been ok since then, keeping myself busy and not thinking about it much.
A few days ago he called and said he missed me and wanted me to take him back. I do miss him but I just can't see a future and I'm skeptical about him being able to get it together. Thoughts?
TL;DR: | should I get back with my bf who i care about but have concerns about the future with due to lack of financial responsibility? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I get the third party for a threesome?
POST: Well, the other night me and my girlfriend were at a party and she ended up making out with a long time friend of hers. Let's call her friend Sara, and let's call my girlfriend Tiffany not their real names but it'll do. Anyway, Tiffany came up to me and told me about what happened kinda feeling bad I guess. She was wondering if I'd be mad. I was not, not at all. My first reaction was, "Where is she?!? Where was I?" Anyway, later throughout the night I guess my girlfriend decided she wanted to experiment with a girl, and asked me, "So... Does this mean you're down for a threesome?" I was astounded to say the least. After I confirmed she was serious, she said I had to find the girl. Now that you know my story... HELP ME GET TWO CHICKS IN BED WITH ME REDDIT!
TL;DR: | My girlfriend thinks women are nice, and very gentle when it comes to making out with them. She now wants a threesome. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 M] don't want to hang out with my acquaintance [26? M]
POST: I have known this guy, Thomas, for about a year. He is the same major as me and several of my close friend group, and was introduced to us by another friend in an academic setting (working on homework together, etc). Since then, we've invited him to a lot of our gatherings and parties, but he hasn't really "clicked" socially or made friends with any of the members of our social circle. Thomas has always been socially awkward, but he's nice, polite, and shares a lot of interests with us.
The issue at this point is that, at a party yesterday, Thomas was drunk and said some things that made some people, including my girlfriend, uncomfortable. He was making strange, non-sequitur comments and sometimes not making sense, as well as talking to people about his sexuality, which was not appropriate conversation for the setting. Additionally, he now has my phone number for the first time. This has led to him reaching out to me and my roommate to spend time with him, which we would rather not do. He's a nice enough guy, but we're still uneasy over the way he was acting at the party. Some of his texts have been pushy, stating that he's being intentionally excluded or implying that I need to inform him the next time I plan something.
It may seem like a dick move, but I really just don't want to spend time with Thomas. I don't think he has many other friends, but I don't think that makes me obligated to help him join our social circle. What can I do to distance myself without hurting his feelings too much? Also, he has texted my roommate, but with less frequency. He feels the same way about the situation, and I'm worried Thomas will turn to him if I reject him.
What do you think, Reddit? Am I being too harsh? My time is pretty valuable at this point in my life, and I have lots of other ways I would rather spend it.
TL;DR: | Guy has been on the outskirts of my social circle for a while and has now chosen to try to insert himself via me. How do I kindly distance myself from him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my SO [23 F] of one year, are now living a few hundred miles away. Redditors who have been in long distance relationships, how did you make it work? Or why did it fail?
POST: I am very recently involved in a long distance relationship. My SO moved away about a month ago and we have been together about a year. We are very much dedicated to one another and have strong feelings about each other. We lived together before she moved away and we even survived that without a hitch. This is extremely tough on me as I am now lonely. I went from having her every day to not seeing here for a month. I want to believe we can make it work...but there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
TL;DR: | SO of a year moved away and I am worried this long distance thing will not work. I need to hear some stories/advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Last night I [28/M] had a one night stand with a [28/F] and now feel bad about it.
POST: I met this girl from Tinder a few days ago and we decided to meet up. We're both of the same background (Hindu), however she is much more successful than I am. She already has her stuff together whereas I'm still a 3rd year medical student. She's already done with her residency.
I feel bad about the one night stand, because I lied to her about what I do. I told her that I'm already a 4th year resident so I could have a chance with this girl. I lied because most of the Indian girls I meet on Tinder immediately get turned off when I tell them I'm still a student.
For being 28 and not having your sh!t together for an Indian, is pretty bad. Yes, yes, I know that I'm working towards something, and I shouldn't let it bother me - but it does. I'm honest about it when I meet girls of other races, because they don't care. However with brown girls, it's really unfortunate that I have to lie to get laid.
This girl was just amazing. Really pretty, smart, and an amazing body. I would like to meet up with her again even if we don't have sex.
TL;DR: | Met girl off Tinder. Had to exaggerate my level of education/training in medicine to get laid. Feel bad about that I had to lie. Wish I had my sh!t together. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 22 M...working on getting over ex 21 F
POST: I'm sorry if this isn't the right place for this post. Let me know and I can repost somewhere else.
I'm a male, 22 years of age in grad school. This past summer while I was at an internship 6 hours away, my gf of 2.5 years broke up with me. That was 4.5 months ago. I don't feel I'm over her one bit and while at school we are 150 miles apart. An obvious problem is that we still follow eachother on social media outlets....I know I need to stop that.
We spent all but 8 months of our relationship in a long-distance one. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, I'm sad and am missing the past. The future doesn't look hopeful, but I know it will go on. This sucks because by all other aspects I know I have my future made, career and financially-wise. I've never done this before, really, so some help on if this is normal would be great. It's hard to take male-friends advice cause most say I should just hook up with a girl when I don't want to and I don't have any close female friends.
Mainly all I can do is think of how we both could have done things different. Talk about a horrible thing to do. Painful!
Thanks for listening.
TL;DR: | The time it takes to get over someone varies by person...but any opinions on how long it *may* take someone coming from a 2.5 year relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: I'm on medication that completely kills my appetite. Should I be worried? M/25/6'4"/372-~325
POST: I am currently down about 45-50 pounds through diet and exercise in about 4-5 months. I cut out most carbs and processed foods (keto-ish. HFLC I guess is more accurate, 20-50g carbs daily), and I now walk about 3-5 miles a day as well as doing some light strength training 2-3 days a week.
So far I'm happy with my progress, but I recently got back on Adderall XR for my ADHD and it makes me want to not eat....ever. I can tell when I'm hungry but I just have no desire to actually consume food. I do force myself to eat daily, but I think most days I eat 1200 calories or less.
I started at 372ish and am now in the 320's, so it's still working, but is it okay to eat so little? I don't know the exact numbers, but I think even for weight loss, I could technically eat 2000 or even more a day if I stay active. It literally makes me sick to eat any more than I already do, though
.
I guess the real question is, given the amount of excess weight I have, is it okay for me to create deficits of this size, or should I try to find some way to boost my caloric intake?
I mentioned this to my psychiatrist when adjusting my medication and she basically said, try your best to eat more, but it's not of any real concern until you start wasting away and we don't need to worry about that anytime soon. I really need to be on the medication to function the way I'd like to, so stopping it isn't a viable option at the moment for me.
TL;DR: | I'm fat but I don't want to eat very much. At what point does this become unhealthy and/or hinder my progress? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My boyfriend looks for validation from other women.
POST: Boyfriend 19, Me f (19) Been together for 5 years.
I found a post by my boyfriend asking why women don't respond to his attempts at eye contact/glances ext..He doesn't know why more women don't check him out because he says he's attractive and well put together. He says it would be nice if hot girls would give him more attention, and when he tries to initiate something they don't respond. He says rarely a girl will eye fuck him.
This is pretty hard to read as his girlfriend. Knowing that he's trying to initiate something between him and another women that he finds attractive. He's seeking his confidence through other people. I don't really know what to think. I don't want to talk to him about it because I wasn't supposed to even see this post which was wrong of me. But I don't want to be thinking about all the women he's trying to get attention from/ stare at..
Any advice would be appreciated. We've never had any infidelity in our relationship. I don't have any reasons not to trust him that I know of.
TL;DR: | found a post from my boyfriend asking why more women dont respond to his eye contact/ check outs ext..don't know how to feel about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 M/F] with my girlfriend [30 M/F] of almost 2 years, dealing with a communication barrier and a rising jealous obsession.
POST: It took me a long time to commit to my girlfriend, and during that time where we were somewhat more casual, I had plenty of interest from others and I used to talk to plenty of women, I didn't hook up with anyone but I liked to know that others are interested and that I have options, but as our bond became stronger and I fully committed to her, I completely stopped giving anyone else my attention, even my close friendships with females took a hit as I gradually prioritized my relationship.
Problem is, she still hasn't done that. I always felt that she is more receptive to approaches that I'd like her to be, and after a couple of failed attempts to communicate that to her, my obsession got the best of me and I looked through her text messages. I found details that made my stomach turn, such as her giving other guys her number, indicating interest and having a flirty conversation then shutting it down. Another was when she told me she met an ex by-chance and talked to him briefly then stopped. I found the conversations on her phone.. The flirtation was strong, familiar, and reciprocated. While it didn't go anywhere, I feels like it could in the future and I still feel betrayed. I know she is committed to me and would not stray (she has had chances and not taken them), but her behavior is making me feel inadequate and affecting my trust of her.
I know going through other people's private stuff is a lowly move, and I regret doing it. However, my intuition is usually spot on, and whenever I feel like there's something going on and do a bit of spying, I find enough information to confirm it. What should I do ?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is still more receptive to being hit on/ talking to her exes. what is a good line of communication to get this in the open and resolve it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with my Boyfriend [24M] in a LDR, he keeps posting pictures with and meeting his female friends...how do I get rid of my jealousy ?
POST: So my boyfriend and I have been in a LDR for a few months now, yet we only dated in person for 2 weeks. Due to his I havent had a chance to meet any of his friends.
His friends are mostly female and he goes out dining and drinking with them, though he assures me those girls are also in relationships and he has known them forever.
Since we are in a LDR I already feel jealous that I cant hang out with him, but the fact that he spends time alone in a "date-like" setting with other girls really makes me feel insecure about him.
He also posts pictures of them being close on social media which really upsets me.
I know if it was reverse he'd be mad at me, he gets angry or jealous if I talk about my guyfriends, who I certainly dont meet one on one for dinners to rule out him feeling jealous.
How do I make peace with the fact that most of his friends are female and he's very close with them?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend in LDR has a lot of female friends and hangs out with them in a "date-like" environment ....how do I cope with jealousy ? Am I overreacting ? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22F] feel inadequate in comparison to my intelligent and successful boyfriend [22 M]. How do I get over this?
POST: My boyfriend [22 M] and I [22 F] have been together for a year. We love each other very much and we've agreed that we're probably going to end up together! Not only is he kind, handsome, and hilarious, but he's probably one of the smartest people I have ever met. He's studying Electrical Engineering and rocking at it too: he's graduating with honors and recently got an offer to work for a top engineering company. In short, he has a very bright future and everyone's really proud of him – there is no doubt in my mind he's going to be very successful when he gets into his career.
I, on the other hand, just graduated with humanities degrees that aren't employable this day and age and I have no desire to pursue those fields. I have been looking for a job since graduating in June and the search has been pretty discouraging. I really don't know what field I want to get into or what I want to do. My achievements aren't notable in comparison… I feel extremely lost and don't know what to do with myself. I sometimes wonder why he wanted to go out with me when he's dated more successful and intelligent girls in the past.
I'm also in constant fear that my boyfriend's family thinks that I'm inadequate. They're well aware of my boyfriend's impressive achievements and intelligence while I'm just an unemployed lowly humanities graduate with no real aspirations. How do I deal with this situation? How do I get over this?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend has a very bright and successful future. I feel inadequate in comparison because I graduated with unemployable humanities degrees and have no direction in life. How can I get over myself and be happy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [16M] have a unique problem with this girl [16F]
POST: So I have this really strange situation with this girl I met. We're pretty good friends and she's shown no signs of disliking me. In text, she usually sends small walls of texts and once texted me first. A few days ago she was talking with this guy who talked shit about me and told her not to talk to me cause I was a creep. She told me that he said that, and I asked if she'd listen. She jokingly said, "I don't know man, you guys are both pretty psycho", then we went to our separate classes. What should I do about this whole thing? I really like this girl I really hope she doesn't change her opinion of me cause of what this one dick told her
TL;DR: | Guy talked shit about me to a girl I'm into, now I'm dreading that she has a different opinion of me |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Just got a new cat, will the fighting ever end?
POST: So today we picked up a cat from my father-in-law. They got her from the pound but the child who wanted her wasn't taking care of her. We have a mice problem and decided to take her off their hands. She is a super sweet cat. Cuddly and very calm. My father-in-law has a very old dog so the cat is accustomed to dogs.
Our dog is almost 2 years old. She has been around other cats and never had any issues with them, would hardly even notice they were there. When we brought our cat home she immediately ran behind our couch (which we expected) so we set her up a little base. Litter box, water and food dish are within a foot of the couch openings. Whenever the cat does decide to venture out her and my dog have at it the second my dog sees her.
Is there a good way for us to help our loving animals see they are equals and not enemies? I tried holding the cat up away from my dog so they could see each other but that just resulted in scratches up my arms.
TL;DR: | Any good ways to introduce our new cat to our loving dog? Both have been around the opposite species with no issues but are currently fighting the moment they see each other. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (40F) don't know how to encourage my daughter (15F) to exercise.
POST: My daughter has always been quiet. She's never had more than one or two friends at a time, and the friendships never really lasted. From what I know it's not because they have fall-outs or anything, but because the other girls get bored of her. My daughter's the type that speaks when spoken to, she's been like this ever since she was little.
She's never liked playing with other kids, or playing in general. As a kid she used to sneak away from recess to read inside. I'm bookish too so I never really saw that as an issue.
I recently heard from her high school gym teacher, who is also a family friend, that she's really struggling in gym class. My daughter isn't a thin girl, but she's not particularly overweight either. We eat healthy at home, but there's no culture of exercise.
Her older sister is rail thin and honestly doesn't have the time to exercise (between school and theater commitments she sleeps maybe 5-6 hours a night), I'm obese but am losing weight (I currently go on walks every night but my daughter won't join me), and my husband (married 20 years) plays sports every now and then (daughter abhors team activities, always has).
Recently we just went for a walk around the city and my daughter got out of breath rather quickly. Even though I'm much heavier than her, I wasn't tired at all, so I was rather concerned. I just don't know what to do about this. Should I leave it alone and let her make her own decisions? Should I encourage her? Because she's so quiet I'm probably the only one who can talk to her about this, but I don't think she'll listen to me.
TL;DR: | My daughter, though not overweight, is very out of shape to the point of quick fatigue but refuses to exercise. I don't know how, or if, to encourage her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: 'Eyo reddit. I'm wondering what I should do with my life.
POST: Hello Reddit. I'm a 17 years old guy, and I've been seriously considering what I want to do for the rest of my life...
I always, as a child, thought of being something like a physicist, or a civil engineer. But hell... I can't imagine myself working for the rest of my life behind a desk. I don't mind having to study for my career, as I'm a pretty smart guy (I'm great with numbers).
I was thinking on becoming a pilot, and it's a plan, but I want to have more options to pick from.
Anyways, I love human anatomy and calculations/numbers, those are my best traits academically.
I want a job that, even if gives a low pay... I just want to have an active job, where I have to interact with other people alot, can meet new people. Being able to travel would be a major plus. I just don't want to get stressed out, work too much and see my stomach grow with time.
What would you recommend me to do?
TL;DR: | I want an active job that might let me have a normal physical activity level, make me interact with people and traveling would be a major plus. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Making the transistion from friends to >friends
POST: Sorry, awful cliche question but I could do with some advice. There is a girl that I'm good friends with but do like a lot and would like to try moving it on but I'm pretty awkward when it comes to this.
So without saying, "can we be more?" How do I get there, or suggest it? So how do I hug her more, get more kinda comfortable with her... I think that's my problem, I'm bad at the small scale physical stuff, so any tips or techniques?
I'm not stuck in the friend zone that I know of or anything, I just need some way of moving it up a notch.
I'm a 17 year old male in the UK for what it's worth. Thankyou in advance
TL;DR: | how do you come off as more of a relationship candidate without being weird? Want to become more than friends with friend but I'm bad with asking/forcing hugs and shizz |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by being f****** being retarded
POST: To fully understand the story you must know that i am bound to an electric wheelchair.
It was a normal day at school, nothing out of the ordinary. Until a teacher came into the class room and told us that we could leave early today (10 am). Now i had a problem because this happened before i got my drivers license. And the way i normally transported myself back and forth was with a taxi.
Normally the taxi wouldn't show up till 2.30 pm, so i tried to get the taxi to show up sooner so i didn't have to wait, but i was told that wasn't possible.
And this is where everything went wrong. I went into rage mode, and told myself that just because the teachers couldn't plan their schedule in advance i shouldn't be stuck at school. So i had the brilliant idea of driving all the way home by myself. In my wheelchair. Out on the road. First of all it was pretty scary driving on a road where people were only inches away from hitting me multiple times, but the worst thing happened when i was half-way home. The chair gave out... I remembered, stupid as i was, that i had forgotten to charge the battery on my chair. I just made it past the road sign and was stranded at the sidewalk. So i sat there for an hour, normally that wouldn't be a problem but i also forgot to mention that i didn't bring any warm clothes and it was in the middle of the winter. And to top it all of when sitting there in misery, hating myself for being stupid, one of my friends drove past me in his car waving and smiling like an idiot, because he couldn't see that i was stranded and he just drove on. But my luck finally changed for just a short period of time. I managed to convince someone to come pick me up and drive me home.
Now it would probably seem like this was all over, but because life happened to wanna teach me a lesson i also had to be sick for a week
TL;DR: | Forgot to recharge my wheelchair, thought i could drive home from school. Got stranded in the middle of nowhere, which resulted in my being sad and sick for a week. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Addicts and ex-addicts of reddit. Why did you allow yourself to become addicted?
POST: I've always wondered how people would allow themselves to deteriorate so much that they develop an addiction to something, whether it be Cigarettes or Smack.
Whenever an ex addict tells me their problems they face(d) with their addiction I do feel bad for them I really do, but theres always that voice in the back of my mind that says "well your addiction was your fault. Why should I feel sorry for you for a problem you brung upon yourself?"
It's a terrible thought but it's always in the back of my mind. My brain just refuses to feel sorry for them.
TL;DR: | It's terrible but I just can't feel sorry for people who allowed themselves to become addicted. So (ex)addicts Why did allow yourself to become addicted? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I'm 24 and paying into a pension, but I have student loans and LoC. Should I stop paying into it so I can pay off loans faster? (CA)
POST: I'm 24 right now and paying about $200 a month into a pension (CPP). I got a decent job after college so they offered me one and I took it.
Unfortunately I have about $25,000 in student loans (OSAP) and about $6,000 in a Line of Credit. My OSAP is set to be paid off in ten years, but that's a long time and my payments are about $320 a month. It got me thinking that I could take what I pay into the pension a month, and put it towards my OSAP to pay it off sooner
I know pensions are good, but there's a few things to factor. I am not staying in the city I'm in for long, it's small with little opportunity for me. I will be likely moving to a different town and working for a different company. This makes me think it would be next to impossible to try to keep a pension going. I much rather start worry about it once my loans are paid off.
Money can be tight sometimes, I'm living with my girlfriend and these loan payments suck a lot. I want them gone as quickly as possible so I can use the free money to save and invest it.
Is it silly to give up a pension or is it worth my while to use it instead to pay off my loans?
TL;DR: | paying into a pension (CPP), have ~30K student debt, thinking of not paying into pension to pay off loans faster |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] trust issues with gf [19 F]. She cheated, I forgave her, but still hangs around the friend who she went out with to cheat on me.
POST: Hello all, this is my first post ever so I apologize if the text doesn't flow smoothly.
I've been dating my current girlfriend for 11 months. About 4 months into the relationship she cheated on me during a "girls night out." She seemed very apologetic, and I really liked this girl throughout high school so I wanted to make it work. Months go by and I still don't trust her, (probably due to my own self esteem). One night I drunk text one of our mutual female acquaintances that she went out with, the night that she cheated. I asked, "why didn't you stop her, and if she had something against our relationship." She replied first to my SO while ignoring my texts. When the mutual friend finally did reply she stated," I don't like you, respect you, or want you with her". My girlfriend and I talked about what she said and she told me that "You don't need to like her, shes my friend not yours". I don't know if I should end the relationship, but I can't ever trust her with that friend. Her friend always invites guys to "girls nights out." Knowing that she willingly has a friend that disrespects me like that often makes me question if the relationship is worth it.
TL;DR: | current gf has friend that wants to break us up any opportunity she gets, and my gf is ok with that. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: i [27F] am moving across the county after getting accepted to a top business school and now my fiance [30M] does not want to go
POST: My fiancé and I have been together for just under 2 years. We got engaged last month and plan to marry next summer. We are extremely compatible and he is the person I want to spend my life with.
I was accepted to my dream school, one the best in the world. He has been extremely supportive of my aspirations from the start, and weve been making plans for it since I started applications last fall. It was an exciting surprise to us both that I got in, and now that I have, I am trying to make plans for us to move.
We currently live on the west coast and we both absolutely love it. He has a flexible career that allows him to work/travel from basically anywhere. But business school is in the Northeast, and while neither of us want to leave the sunny weather, I assumed we would be compromising on this as we had always discussed.
Now as we are getting closer to the summer, he is having second thoughts. He wants me to go first and him to go later, but with no timeline in mind. He currently is on a short term project on the west coast and he could very easily find one to relocate him to the northeast. However, he is primarily in tech so Silicon Valley is the ideal area for him to be in, and he cites his network and potential of opportunity for being the reason for delay.
Neither of us are deeply rooted in our current town of only 1 year. I am sad, hurt, and offended that he has hesitated now to allow me to enjoy this opportunity. I received other acceptances as well that would have let us stay in our current area; we collectively decided that I should pick the school in the northeast. I am worried that if I go without him he will never come, and I don't want to waste my first semester or year being held back or confused about where my future lies. What should I do? How can I deal with this in the right way?
TL;DR: | I took an amazing opportunity to attend top b-school across the country, fiance originally supported me and supported moving together, but now hesitates to leave and makes excuses to stay put with no timeline. What to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17 M] got dumped twice last weekend by my now ex [17 F] girlfriend, I need some help.
POST: We'd been dating for about a year and five months, we began to fight quite a bit a few months ago, nothing too serious but little stuff that just kept escalating until one of us would walk away, the relationship wasn't perfect but for the most part it was just regular bickering and we were happy every other time.
She broke up with me last Friday after a fight on text, we got back together Saturday afternoon, everything was good until we went to see a movie but we were late and both got agitated with each other.
When we got back to my house we just stood there not saying anything until she said she keeps making rush decisions, after some tears, and her explaining her feelings I told her that if she needed to breakup with me for school or to be happier or anything then she should do it, I'm not everything in the world and she needs to put herself above me.
I'm just trying to figure my own stuff out, she begged to be friends and for me to not hate her and I don't hate her, I don't know about being friends as it would only cause us to get back together (which isn't best for the both of us) or turn toxic if one of us started seeing somebody else. Anybody have advice other than the simple "time heals all wounds" I'm trying to stay occupied but its Friday and all of my friends are working or busy and so I am alone and very depressed at this point, I'm just looking for really good albums, movies or games that give you a good feeling or something to help, any sort of seemingly unorthodox advice is totally welcome and if something helped you focus on new beginnings and a better future please let me know! hell I just want some more human interaction.
TL;DR: | Sad as hell after girlfriend broke up with me twice in two days, looking for any thing that helped you or somebody through a breakup, usual or not, and any suggestions on what to do to cope. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (17 F) boyfriend (18 M) seems to have lost interest..
POST: I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year, with a few breakups and fights in between. When we first started dating I was his "dream girl" and he treated me better than anyone ever has. But as the relationship progressed he grew distant and stopped complimenting me or being affectionate or making time for me, etc. I really want our relationship to go back to how it used to be and when I bring it up to him he says he is the same and that he is doing everything he used to which is obviously not true. I have tried to give him space, I've tried to act like it doesn't bother me, yet nothing I do seems to make him treat me even close to the way he used to. I feel very unwanted, unappreciated, and unimportant to him. He makes me feel like his second choice as a way to spend his time, like something else is always more interesting or important than me. It's taking a huge toll on my happiness and confidence in the relationship. What can I do to change the way he treats me and our relationship?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend of one year seems uninterested in me, I want things to go back to how they were in the beginning of our relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by opening a window
POST: Back in high school, my 3 closest friends would always hang out at one of my buddies houses. We usually had the place to ourselves, so we were always hanging out, smoking, and playing video games. One weekend his family was gone, so we all decided to smoke a blunt on the couch in his living room. It was a memorable time for us all. Called it the "comfy couch blunt"
Fast forward a few years... My buddy and his family moved out. The house was ready to be sold, and it was empty for months. One day in early November we were all back in town and said "let's go back to the old place and smoke one more blunt in the living room. So we all get there, open up the empty house and start reminiscing. Someone rolled one up, and we sparked it just like old times. My friend, remembering that the house would still be shown and not yet sold, went to the top floor and opened some windows to keep the air fresh. Got super stoned and called it a day. A couple weeks later his mother got a phone call from his grandfather about the house. Something went wrong. We forgot to close the windows and all the pipes burst in the house. We went over to take a look, the ground was all warped the ceiling fell in over some places, and there was a lot of damage. They suspected it was us, but we all ended up not getting in any real trouble for it.
TL;DR: | opened up a window in a vacant house to smoke weed, forgot to close it, pipes in the house burst the next week |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19M] with my ex-girlfriend [18F] went out for 6 months but are now weird almost friends
POST: We went out for a couple of months and had a pretty strong relationship, but we were just not right for each other. We mutually decided to break up, and agreed to give each other time and space before we could become friends again. I did, however, say that I wanted to still be friendly with her and talk through this process, as she has a gorgeous personality and we get along very well, but she has been completely blanking me. I really don't want this happening because I like her as a person and want to be friends with her, but it seems like that we are drifting further apart.
Every now and then she comes over to mine (we go to the same college and she lives close by) to talk, and we are friendly. However, in public she is more distant and ignores me almost completely. Last night I said that I just wanted her to be happy and if that meant finding a new boyfriend, I would not mind. However, I said it a little awkwardly and so she ended up crying. I think she inferred that I was saying I wanted to move on and find a new girlfriend. This was, however, not my intention. I texted her apologizing, explaining the miscommunication, but she ignored my texts. I also saw her again that same night, and she blanked me completely, not even saying hi or acknowledging my presence.
I know it will take time for us to become friends, but I don't know what to do because it seems like everything I say hurts her in some way and drives us slightly further apart.
TL;DR: | ex-girlfriend keeps blanking me, I often say dumb shit and making situation worse. I just want to be friends with her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend is really shy, and quiet. So much so, that I feel like I'm making him uncomfortable by bringing things up that need to be talked about...like sex. I need some advice here.
POST: I'm 21/f and he's 27/m, we've been seeing each other for almost 3 months now.
To give you some perspective on the shyness issue, let me tell you a little story first. I had a conversation with him (via facebook...) about being frustrated with our lack of communication, which in ways has improved, but it's still got a ways to go. Later that night, we were discussing our previous conversation and he said something like, "So, to give you some perspective on who I am..." Peppered with many Umms and pauses. "Its hard for me to put into words, but, umm, I've had intimate relations with this many people." And he held up his hand. I kid you not, it took him what seemed like 5 minutes to spit this out while I patiently listened. Clearly he felt extremely awkward talking about it.
I'm a very sexual person, and I've had a lot of partners...certainly a lot more than I can count on one hand...or two. I'm very confident that I know what I like in the bedroom.
We do have sex pretty regularly, and for the most part it's pretty good, but I REALLY want to talk to him about some things he/we can do to make it better, however I'm afraid that it's going to make him feel really uncomfortable/self conscious, and like I'm putting him on the spot. I feel like a total fucking coward writing him an email or facebook message about things like this, but at this point I kind of feel like it's the best way to get through to him without him feeling too awkward or under pressure to quickly respond/know what to say. Plus it gives him the impression that I would rather communicate that way, which is totally not the case at all...I want to work towards making him feel comfortable talking to me about ANYTHING, which I have told him that he should be, but clearly that wasn't enough.
What should I do?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend is extremely shy talking about sex, and I'm not sure how I should communicate with him about it to make him feel most comfortable. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 F] don't feel aroused by my SO [27 M] of 2 years. I find myself wanting to sleep with other people, don't know how to stop feeling guilty but also don't want to break up with him
POST: I don't need a long explanation for this, I'm just feeling really guilty because I have an amazing partner. He is supportive, talented, and very kind.
For some reason, I find it harder and harder to sleep with him and am more attracted to other people than I ever was before. I don't know what to do. I am his first serious relationship and I can't imagine sitting him down and saying "I am not attracted to you, I want to sleep with other people."
Is this just a phase because I am younger than him? Is this a normal thing most people go through in long term relationships? How can I solve this issue without breaking up with him? I am absolutely terrified of revealing this, sleeping with someone else and then realizing I lost an amazing person. Any advice would help. Thank you.
TL;DR: | no longer attracted to older boyfriend, wants to sleep with other people, doesn't want to break up with boyfriend. HALP. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Me [22/m] with my [27/f] friend of 4 years; I feel a little resentful and equally dejected. Am I wrong?
POST: Hi there!
after lurking around here for a while I thought it was time to make a post, especially after reading some comments that I found helpful
I am 22 years old, I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome at a young age.
however, what you would call high functioning, as I am very sociable and have a great group of close friends.
3 months ago I arranged for myself and a 27 year old female friend who I have known for 4 1/2 years, to go looking at stars through high powered telescopes at a community event.
It's a surprise for her because she adores stars and space, an interest we share. Unfortunately when we arrived it was closed, and we decided to do it later on.
Fast forward 3 months; we meet up for life drawing and she tells me that she is going stargazing at the same place with her boyfriend. In other words, my idea.
I know for a fact that it was her who suggested it, and not her boyfriend, who is often lazy and forgetful (for instance I was one of the only people who remembered to wish her a happy birthday)
Am I wrong for feeling resentful and cheated? and how can I go about raising the issue with her, without her getting the wrong idea?
Part of me wants to be completely honest and upfront about my feelings.
I have already posted in /r/aspergers, but I thought I would also get the opinions of you fine ladies and gentlemen.
TL;DR: | Suggested to a close female friend that we go stargazing. Months later she tells me she is going stargazing at the same place with her boyfriend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: What's up with guys who hit-it-and-quit-it? (23F)
POST: I've been the victim of the hit-it-and-quit it / the fuck zone a lot lately and it realllly sucks.
I'm not even talking like the one-night stand kind of hookups, where it's typical to hit-it-and-quit it. That's happened before and it's been no big deal.
But this is how it usually goes for me:
- Meet a guy
- He starts texting/snapping me all the time with him initiating probably like 4 or 5x a day
- We go out on a couple of dates and have a really good times
- I start to like him and have a feeling he feels the same way
- Texting/snapping still happens
- We hookup usually around the 3rd or 4th date
- He gets distant, the communication dwindles or if he does want to talk, it's only about sex
- Everything stops, despite my attempts to get it back on track and I delete them
It's just SO heartbreaking to feel like you have a connection with someone, only to realize they only saw you as a conquest and all of the nice things they said and did were just to get you in bed. There are tons of girls out there who are willing to hook up but why manipulate the ones who clearly want something more? I've cried so many tears over these jerks but it just happens again and again.
TL;DR: | what goes through the minds of guys who go on dates with you, only to disappear after sex? Is all of this done on purpose or do they just lose interest and not know why? How can I avoid these people? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, could you please suggest ways for me to fight my goal disorientation?
POST: I'm not a very goal-oriented person, and I'm having trouble setting personal goals for myself.
Goals at work I don't have trouble with (I'm a programmer) but on the other hand, goals outside of work that are still related to work seem to elude me. For example, my job is mainly maintaining database and website code and related stuff. Every so often I come up with cool ideas for sites I'd like to build and jot them down. Occasionally I'll even go so far as to start the bare framework of such a site and make scant progress on it, but eventually I get sick of it and let it fall by the wayside.
Could it just be that I'm associating these pet projects too closely with work, thus helping me be less eager about taking them to completion? Do I just need to find ways to separate work from personal projects and persevere?
Any suggestions from those of you who've encountered and conquered similar issues would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | How do I motivate myself to work on projects that happen to be in the same field as my 9-5 job? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of 11 months, she's too dedicated to study to spend time together but her family absolutely loves me.
POST: We are both university students (studying different degrees but same campus) and i feel that we aren't spending enough time together.
We only catch up occasionally during the week for a coffee or lunch, and i will stay at her parents house every few weekends, which i feel is too little. I have told her this, and her standard response is "i would love to catch up more, but ive been really busy with lab work lately". Additionally, we barely talk online as she is barely on social media (and therefore takes many hours to respond to my texts and facebook messages).
My girlfriend is a very quiet and withdrawn girl who has almost zero experience with any other relationships. She is also a virgin and isn't "ready for anything more than making out". I completely respect her boundaries and wouldn't do anything to make her feel pressured, but im really starting to feel the struggle of having no sexual interaction. A recent serious discussion of this revealed that she has some personal issues to get over first, though she was uncomfortable with sharing with me what they were for whatever reason.
This would seem an obvious issue to resolve except for the fact that her immediate family really like me and think that we are perfect for each other and all is great. Her mum goes out of her way to help me all the time, even with simple things she makes a massive effort to ensure i'm happy.
So what do you think?
* should i wait for some more months until the end of the study year and hope things get better?
**or**
* should i cut my losses with her amazing family and try to find someone else?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend too focused on study, not putting in much effort, not interested in anything sexual, but has super nice and caring family who really like me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: washington citizen needs guatemala legal advice
POST: i tried helping a friend with this the last time it came up and now it's come up again.
he is autistic and poor so he doesn't have the social skills to deal with his manipulative family nor the money to hire an attorney. his mom died several years ago and has money and property in guatemala. his family is pressuring him to sign power of attorney to an uncle in guatemala who was part of a scam with other members of their family where they lied (denied that my friend existed) to complete paperwork to take over his mom's home in guatemala.
what are the estate laws in guatemala governing how u.s. residents inherit guatemalan property and a guatemalan bank account?
TL;DR: | autistic man living in poverty needs advice/ assistance on handling mom's estate in guatemala (family is trying to manipulate him) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (22F) boyfriend (22M) has attempted to look at my Facebook without my permission twice now. What do?
POST: So when he is in a bad state of mind he has these jealous, as he calls them, "trances." The first time he looked at my Facebook messages on my computer when I left the room to go do something one night when we were first dating (like a month in). He told me about it the next day and we discussed it. I decided to give it another chance because the relationship was awesome in pretty much every other respect, including honesty.
Things went well and now we have been dating for 7 months. He is off visiting his family now but he messaged me this morning saying that he had logged in to my Facebook yesterday because I had taken an exceptionally long time to respond to his last message and he was paranoid. He said he didn't look at anything (frankly I don't care if he did. There's nothing I wouldn't want him seeing, but it bothers me that he decided to look anyway), and just felt bad and logged back out immediately.
However, I got a notification that someone had tried to log into my Facebook that morning (must have been him), but also that evening. He did not mention the second time. That would have been after I had responded to him.
I have talked about this with him and my concerns are that, while I want this to work, I don't want to be a pushover. I understand it can be easy to be a pushover when you are really into the person you are dating (been there enough for sure), but seriously, this is the only problem we've had in our relationship. I am still waiting for his response (I can only communicate with him through Facebook because he is abroad right now), but he wasn't entirely honest with me about how many times he tried to log in and I fear that, even if he doesn't plan to do it again, like he says, he'll lose respect for me anyway if I decide to stay with him. What does /r/relationships think?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend snooped through my Facebook messages twice, told me each time, but didn't tell me the whole story the most recent time. Relationship is great other than this one thing. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm (20/m) gay and I have a huge crush on one of my friends, who I suspect is gay. What do I do?
POST: I'm from a pretty progressive family, my mother has always been supportive of me no matter what. I have a friend that I've known for some years, but never really had any intimate conversations with. I've never once seen him with a woman or a man, but whenever I'm around him, I get these really strong sexual attractions and I get the feeling that he does too. I know the old adage is to not date your friends or fuck them, becuase that only ends poorly, but we have a huge amount in common and w/e. I'm just really apprehensive to say or do anything because I don't know if he's really gay or not, and I don't want to ostracize myself from our group of friends by thinking he is and then being terribly wrong. Does anyone know what I should do to proceed with this? I've had a few drinks, and that's why I've come to ask Reddit what to do, but I know better than to just ask him if he's gay because I don't want to lose my friends if he's not. I know that sounds fucked up, and I'm sure plenty of people will say they're not really my friends if they ignore me because of that, but I don't know how to explain the fact that I'm scared.
TL;DR: | idk if my longtime friend is gay, but I am really attracted to him and I want to find out. help please? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend M27 lied to me F26 about how much money he makes, should I be mad?
POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year, and I knew he was making a lot of money. He has an MBA from Harvard, and works as a business consultant and I knew he made a lot of money but I didn't realize how much.
I thought he was making around 135,000 a year, which is what he told me, but it turns out he was making CONSIDERABLY more than that. When I realized this I confronted him and he told me that he didn't want me to like him for his money. How would you guys react? Do I have a right to be angry?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is making more than 5 times what he told me he was and lied because he didn't want me to like him for his money. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22F] need some advice about moving on.
POST: I very recently went through a breakup that really hit me hard. It was my first serious relationship, I really cared about him deeply, and after seven great months I guess I wasn't expecting him to break it off so easily.
There wasn't a whole lot of closure or explanation on his side, and his actions point to him being pretty much set on completely cutting me out of his life wherever possible. So I've found myself replaying everything that happened, constantly wondering what I could have done better, thinking about things I should have/could have said, trying to figure out what I could have possibly done to make him hate me all of a sudden, etc etc. It's getting to the point where it's distracting me from functioning normally, making me space out (and nearly cry) at work, and it's causing a major creative block on my end (I'm an artist).
Does Reddit have any good tips about how to start moving on and accept that this is over for good? I would really appreciate any advice on that front.
TL;DR: | Breakup hit me really hard, need to stop focusing on it in order to get on with my life, any tips? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: I am trying to build a program for February using MOSSA videos for Xbox One. Any advice is welcomed!
POST: Hi /r/loseit, I have somehow found myself the sole active moderator over at /r/XboxFitness , and I need some advice in crafting a routine for what has swelled to over 150 people! (When I started it was like 30 people, now that the membership is large... I want to get it right).
The single most requested feature was a "schedule" (I had simply been posting my workouts for others to follow or not). So I started planning my weeks videos out...
**What is Xbox Fitness?**
Xbox Fitness is an app on xbox that "Game-ifies" various exercise DVDs with the Kinect camera, giving users points for reps, holding their form, etc. etc.
**What the community has done**
In January we started a "January with Jillian Michaels" program. We started with "Ripped in 30" on MWF and "Extreme Shed and Shred" on TuTh(Sa). Some people even added Kickboxing to MWF to get an hour's worth of fitness in. These tapes (ooh, dating myself), are all cross training. That is, they all have some weight training, cardio, and bodyweight fitness, and some abs.
**The Problem with February**
This is where Im seeking advice. The members of /r/XboxFitness have expressed interest in using the MOSSA selections for February. MOSSA divides cardio from weightlifting from abs into 3 separate 30 min routines. The MOSSA selections are
* Core 1 30min
* Core 2 30min
* Fight 1 30min
* Fight 2 30min
* Groove 1 30min
* Power 1 30min
* Power 2 30min
Would there be a significant advantage to dividing the days by type (ie MWF = 2x fight videos for an hour of cardio & TuThSa 2x Power videos for an hour of lifting)? Or for this kind of exercise, would it be better to mix a power and fight video each day? How often would you recommend the 30 min abs? Would it be better to have shorter power or cardio when adding an abs video?
TL;DR: | Im the moderator for /r/XboxFitness and Im trying to design a workout for 150 pple using the MOSSA selections available. Your input is solicited! |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Another cardio question...
POST: Howdy all!
So, I'm on day two in a row of actually going to the gym (wahoo) although this may seem small, this is the start of me ACTUALLY working out.. or trying to.
My question about cardio is this:
So, when I'm tossin' bows on the fancy treadmill at my gym, it tells me lovely things like heart rate, distance, time, etc. One thing it tells me, of course, is calories burned (which I know is most likely estimated and what not) So, I've kinda set my goal per day as 2.5 miles, which I do at an average of 3.9mph (the fancy machine told me so). My question is, at the end of my workout it tells me I have burned around 155 calories.
Now this information is disheartening, as you all know, everyone likes to focus on calories. So, should I be sad that I am only burning a measly 155 calories a workout, or is there some secret the fancy machine is keeping from me. (Like the concentration camp party it's throwing for my belly fat) OR.... am I walking 2.5 miles just for those 155 calories :/
TL;DR: | Should I focus on calories burned during cardio, or smack myself in the face for being sad my workouts are burning only 155 calories (est.) a pop. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: I have been delaying an inevitably bad time...
POST: Backstory:
One of my best friends' brother got married a few months ago. Before the wedding he asked me if I would mind filming their wedding for them. I have somewhat of a technical background and they explained that they did not want/need anything fancy so I agreed. I advised them I had never done anything like this before but I would for them no problem. They provided a camera and we discussed it at the rehearsal. It was all decided and was very straight forward. In return they offered me a handfull of drink tickets for the night but mostly I was doing it as a favour for them.
Problem:
I missed the ceremony. When I say I missed the ceremony, I mean I was out partying with everyone from the wedding the night before and stayed up too late and got up too early. After breakfast I laid down for a nap and did not wake up until a friend called after the ceremony was over.
I did follow through with the rest of the night. I went to the speeches and the dance and even got some classic "do you have anything to say to the newly wed's" clips. I have some great shots and am currently editing a video for them of what I do have BUT... I still have not told them that I do not have footage of the ceremony at all. And they are really getting anxious to see this and am not sure how to break it to them.
They are also asking for the raw footage tomorrow! Just because they want to see it. I have no idea what their reactions will be or how to go about this situation I have got myself into.
TL;DR: | I was supposed to film a wedding, missed the ceremony (but not the dance/speeches), have been "editing" the video for a couple months and am not sure how to break it to them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is it possible to get Dual Citizenship through marriage? (HELP!)
POST: This has left me scratching my head for some time now.
I'm getting married in August. I'm a U.S. Citizen and he's from Ireland. We won't be getting citizenships right away because we plan on travelling and going to grad school first. Neither of us wants to give up our original citizenship obviously, but that would mean going back and forth with just a green card maybe?
Is it possible to be both a citizen of the US and Ireland through marriage?
My fiance doesn't really care all too much because the job market in the US is shit and he's fine with just a green card. But we're planning on possibly getting a job somewhere in Europe (Southern France hopefully) and it might affect me if I'm not an Irish citizen like him. This will mean that I'll be the jobless free-loader wife and that's completely not me.
I guess I'm just not sure what to do in this situation. Does anyone have any knowledge about how this works? Maybe some tips if Dual Citizenship is not possible?
TL;DR: | US Citizen marrying an Irishman. Can we both get dual citizenships or can we just live off of green cards travelling back and forth? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Braces Dilemma. Need advice from anyone who has, has had braces, or even thought of getting braces.
POST: I have always hated my teeth. I'm not talking "Boo hoo 2 of my teeth are a little crooked" or "I have a gap on the left side of my mouth....waaaahhh". No, I mean, my mouth looks like a train wreck. Gaps, crookedness, overbite, saber tooth; you name it, I've got it. There isn't a photo of me where I'm not smiling with my mouth closed, and I can't remember a time where I could laugh without covering my mouth. Most people, my boyfriend included, see it as simply a cosmetic issue that should be overlooked. It has been the major cause of my self esteem issues, which have led to depression, self mutilation, and eating disorders. It does affect my life and I desperately want to change it. I had medicaid growing up (I'm 18 now, so it expires in July) and they don't cover any sort of orthodontic treatment because it is considered plastic surgery, so I was never able to afford them. My boyfriend and I are saving up for an apartment so I don't want to dip into our savings too much for an "unnecessary" procedure. I've been looking at lingual braces (those that go behind your teeth) and I am worried about the cost and the duration of treatment. My boyfriend says without my teeth the way they are it would take away from my personality, take away part of the girl he started dating. I'm not sure if I should go through no matter the cost, or despite my loathing attitude towards them, accept that they'll always be like that.
TL;DR: | I'm not sure if I should spend the money on braces, or save money and deal with my hideous teeth the way they are. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My husband [24M] wants to join a college fraternity, and I [24F] do not know how to react.
POST: A bit about me - I'm a 24 year old female who graduated from community college 4 years ago. I have working since then to raise money to pay for tuition, housing, textbooks, car and some entertainment (PS4, Xbox one, Wii U, TV). I met my husband at the end of high school, right after we broke up with our exes. We married 2 years later, after i finished community college. My husband is 24, and got out of the Marines. We will attend the same college, and the Marines will pay my husband's tuition and housing. We have no kids.
One of the counselors in the Marines suggested my husband to join a fraternity in college. He likes the idea of it. He wants to have people to work out with, play video games with, and to study with. He is deciding between a service fraternity and a social fraternity. I am not too easy with this and have a few questions.
1. If he joins a social fraternity, what are the chances he will cheat on me with a sorority girl? I trust him, but don't trust the people he will be with. Hollywood movies like Animal House and Neighbors 2 don't help either.
2. If he joins the service fraternity, he will have to hang out with his high school ex (who followed my plan to go to community college and work to pay for tuition and housing). How can he avoid contact with her?
3. How much time will he have to spend time with me, while he joins and pledges a fraternity? He will be working and taking classes, and I don't want this to tear us apart.
4. He is suggesting me to join a sorority if he joins a social fraternity. What the hell is that? Do sorority chicks cheat on their partners? I don't want to be affiliated with them. How will I
5. The service fraternity is coed. He is suggesting me to join that with him. But both our exes are in that fraternity. How can we avoid our exes? Since they both are officers in that fraternity, we will have to interact with them.
Thanks Reddit!
TL;DR: | husband wants to join a fraternity and is deciding between a social and a service fraternity. I am not easy with that decision. What can I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (23F) LD guy (28M) thinks that some sexual stuff I did were disgusting and said that he isn't sure if he can kiss me.
POST: We have been chatting for 4 months now and I had plans to see him in August. I bought plane ticket. Things were good. I have more sexual experience, which wasn't hard to have because he has almost none. We talked about sex and he mentioned rim job. I said sure, no problem, I can do it. He asked if I did it before, I said yes. He said thing from the title 'It is disgusting, I am not even sure if I can kiss you now.' This was few days ago and he didn't reply on my last message.
Hour ago, he contacted me again and I don't know what is good response. He was nice and funny. I enjoyed chatting with him (a lot!), but I cooled off and I am not interested in someone who acts like this. Or maybe his reaction wasn't big deal? Maybe it has something to do with lack of sexual experience? I usually pick guys who are open to new experiences and they never commented that something is disgusting.
Maybe little info about me so that you have some perspective. I had 4 sex partners. I guess that craziest what I did are rim jobs (I am not into bdsm, orgies, any kind if fetishes...) I tried that with my last boyfriend. When I mentioned rim job he was like puppy when someone holds a cookie. So I decided to try it and it was great, very simple and easy. He had big dick (20cm) so blow jobs were hard work for someone lazy like me. He was also very giving in bed and I was happy that I can satisfied him. Seeing him pleased made me very pleased too.
TL;DR: | my long distance guy thinks that rim jobs are disgusting. I did that before. He has been ignoring me for few days, but hour ago he sent me a message. What now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with [25M] - Dating for about a month, he suddenly 180s it and "just wants to be friends"
POST: So, for the past month, I've been seeing "Drake" (25m). Things were going great. We met through a mutual friend, and since he got my number, we haven't stopped talking. He's sweet and smart. He's a super busy guy who goes to school, and works, and plays in a band 5 nights a week, but he still made time to see me 3 or 4 times a week. He wasn't pushing for anything too fast (waited until like our 4th date to kiss me) and I was starting to think like, yeah, hey, this is someone I could be with who wouldn't make me want to stab myself in the gut.
About a week ago, after a particularly nice afternoon alone (We both live with our parents right now as he's in school and i just graduated so privacy isn't always a thing) I texted him something along the lines of: "hey, I just wanted to be honest about something. I don't sleep with anyone I'm not in a relationship with." I just didn't want him to have any false expectations about where things were heading. He said he understood.
We had plans for Saturday night, and he sent me a quick text asking to call him when I got the chance. We played phone tag for a couple hours before he called me. He told me flat out he just wants to be friends, but he totally still wants to hang out that night and he wants to still be able to check in on me. (I have a recent knee injury that he's been really sweet about helping me tend to). I told him no thanks, I didn't want to go out that night anymore and we hung up.
So basically reddit, what the hell. Did I fuck up by saying the word "relationship?" I put off even bringing it up because I was afraid he'd think I wanted to date immediately when I LOVED taking things at a turtle's pace. There were just no warning signs about this whatsoever. I have no idea what's going on.
TL;DR: | I said the word "relationship" after a month and the guy I was dating lowkey headed for the hills. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: My appetite is changing, concerned about calorie intake.
POST: I'm female, 25, 140 pounds. A couple years ago I used to be 125 pounds. When I weighed that much I didn't eat too much and I was moderatly active. My guess is that I ate around 1000 calories a day. Now that I'm eating healthier foods that make me fuller longer, I'm not as hungry. Yesterday I ate about 950 calories and I really didn't feel hungry for more. I know that eating too little calories can be bad for your weight loss (and your health). Is it okay to eat under my calories intake goal of 1200 a couple times a week?
TL;DR: | Is it okay to eat under my calorie goal of 1200 a couple times a week? Or will that slow down my weight loss? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] of 3 years, he's a realy good guy but I'm not sure about the relationship
POST: We are each other's first real relationship and everything seems to be going just fine. We both live with our parents and see eachother on the weekends. We have ALOT of mutual interests. Everytime one of us find a new hobbie the other one instantly like it. We are studying for the same degree but in different university and we have the same goals and values in life. We both want kids, a house in a city we both like, we think the same about mariage etc.
The issue is, that I don't know if he is "The one". I mean he is such a good guy and he is so sweet with me. He's understanding, responsible, clean, good listener, he surprises me alot with gifts, he's always kissing/hugging etc. In addition we have alot in common so we almost never fight and never have to compromise over activities or other things....but I just have a doubt. I dont know if it's the fact that I've never had a relationship before him so I can't compare.
Sometimes I do find him boring. I wish he could be more outgoing with a better sense of humour and be more charismatic. He doesn't talk alot. He is more like the typical geek that talks alot when the discussion is about video games/internet/movies but remains silent when the discussion goes in other subjects. So it can be kind of awkward when we are with my friends or my family that aren't geek at all.
I talked to him about this issue. He said that it's just the way he is and he doesn't feel comfortable doing small talks about things he doesnt care.
I just don't know what to think... Should I let this great guy go and maybe regret it afterward? am I too picky? Does a relationship should be exciting even after 3 years?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is amazing but he is a typical introverted geek. Even if we share alot of interests I'm bored. It makes me doubt about the relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18F] with my boyfriend [19M] of almost 3 years having issues with communication, near breaking point.
POST: This is my first post on Reddit, so bear with me.
I have been dating my boyfriend seriously for almost three years. Up until recently, it's been an amazing relationship with nothing to worry about. Our parents are on board and we're in it for the long run. Unfortunately, what I thought would last a lifetime is starting to fall apart around me, and I don't know what to do about it.
About a week ago, we fought. Of course, couples fight, no big deal. This fight was different. It almost ended the relationship I thought I would be in until I died, and I'm not sure how to bounce back from it.
Communication is a huge problem for us. Ever since our relationship started 3 years ago, we've been texting constantly. The texting is the thing that makes what would have been nothing, something.
This time, I, being a typical girl, overreacted about something stupid, and the fight kept getting deeper and deeper until it was about something completely different, but still important to me.
After talking things through, we decided to stop texting completely. We call each other at least once a day, and we attempt to Skype whenever possible (although the Skype thing hasn't happened yet). Both of our schedules are semi-busy, so that doesn't help.
I'm someone that, when someone upsets me, it's extremely hard to get over it and act like everything is fine. He is somebody that tries to forgive and forget right away. They say opposites attract, but I think we may have reached our breaking point, no matter how hard we try to prevent it.
My boyfriend is also very unmotivated. I worry about his future (which is also my future) to the point where I become a "mother" to him.
TL;DR: | I have issues with communication and my boyfriend has issues getting motivated. What advice can I give him to become motivated? What can I do to get over arguments quickly? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My roommate has placed our wifi router outside his windows to protect himself from the "radiation". How can I convince him that this is a silly notion?
POST: I recently purchased a nice little wireless router for out apartment so we can enjoy the freedom of using the internet on the toilet. For several reasons, I set up the router in his bedroom. After the internet stopped working earlier today, I went to his room to check the router to find it hanging outside the window in our 7th floor apartment (the ethernet cable came loose). I put things in order and placed the router inside. Later, I find my roommate very upset about my moving of the router. He told me that I trying to kill him with the "radiation" from the router. We agreed to move the router tomorrow, once I buy an extension cord, so this is not a problem. Though I am bothered by the fact that he may actually think i am trying to hurt him with the "radiation". What can I say to this kind of individual? He is an intelligent man and quite reasonable beyond this "radiation" problem.
TL;DR: | Roommate thinks I am trying to kill him with radiation from a wireless router. How can I get him to know the truth? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 M] has feeling for my friend's Ex [24f] and trying to get over her and move on since the circumstances is complicated. What do I do?
POST: My good friend (23M) (been friends since HS) and his ex (friends for about a year) have recently broken up and I have liked her couple months. I am good friends with both parties and I had developed feelings for my friend's ex over time. I see that we are very compatible and have same interests. I just feel it's impossible for me to tell her because she just got out of the relationship with my friend. Let alone I don't know how my friend would feel about me trying date his ex. Plus I think she needs some time off from dating. I know I shouldn't say anything but feelings have been developing for a while and I feel like im gonna explode. The worse part I have been comforting her after the breakup which makes me have stronger feelings for her. I just want to get over her, should I slowly stop talking to her and defriend her eventually. It's hard being close with both friends and I am literally in the middle of the breakup / situation. At the same time, I said I will still be friends with her even if they ever break up and I don't want to seem like a liar. I'm just frustrated that I can't tell how I feel so I can get rejected and move on or progress depending on her reaction. Shes already a not emotionally stable and this would make it worse. The timing and situation is way off. If there was any chance this relationship was going to happen, it would be like 3-4 years down the road.
TL;DR: | I have feelings for my friend's ex and the situation is impossible for me to date her or tell her how I feel. How do I get over her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18M] love my girlfriend [18F] of 2.5 years, but I can't see us being together in the long term.
POST: Hey guys, I'm a first year in college right now and I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 2 and a half years now. Before my girlfriend and I started going out, we were pretty much best friends. Although we didn't have a lot of things in common, it was easy for us to talk and laugh with one another which was great. Throughout these years I've known her, I'm always really comfortable around her and would tell her anything.
Recently we got into an argument and we realized how much we were different from one another. Throughout our relationship, there were petty differences such as food and music, but after that argument, I realized it was much more than that. Our values are different. After the talk, she dropped the bomb of "do you see us being together in the long run?" and I said yes and that was the end of that night around 2 weeks ago.
After that night, everything has been normal. We still talk a lot and text a lot. But that question she asked that night has been in the back of my mind every single day because I'm not sure if "yes" was exactly the right answer. I'm afraid that if I end things with her, I'm not only just going to lose my girlfriend, I'm going to be losing my best friend as well. She has given me so much in this relationship and has really changed my life for the better. Not to mention that she was also my first kiss, first girlfriend, and a first for many other things if you know what I mean ;)
So yeah, I don't exactly know what to do in this situation. Do I love her? Yes, I do but I don't know... I have the feeling that she loves me A LOT more than I love her. Is this just some "phase" I'm going through because we've been going out for so long? Is it because I'm in college and I'm surrounded by so many new people? I don't know... please give me some advice and help me out here.
TL;DR: | Realized my longterm girlfriend and I have a lot of differences and I'm not sure I see myself being with her in the long-long-run. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Washington DC, USA: Ex-manager defrauded a charity. If he's convicted/pleads guilty, will some of the fine be restitution?
POST: I work at a consignment shop that funds a charity. A couple of months ago I received a tip that our manager, who had been at the shop for about 12 years, had been committing fraud for almost that long. My tipster gave me a flash drive filled with evidence, which I used to prepare an info packet, which I sent to the home office.
The manager's crimes were of a few different types:
1. He misappropriated funds that belonged to the charity in order to purchase expensive items from the shop.
2. He created fake accounts to sell his own items, and perhaps items that had been donated to the shop, at terms extremely favorable to him; in some cases he took 100% of the proceeds. He thus committed check fraud by then cashing the checks for these non-existent consignors. He once used the name of a friend of his, thus forging her signature and impersonating her.
3. He sometimes would simply remove the sales tax from the transaction, thus committing tax fraud.
He was quickly fired, and the investigations are almost done. A few different committees will meet later this month, and the Board of Directors has the final say on how to proceed.
So, people at the charity would like to recover what was taken, on top of what the higher-ups had to spend on investigations and such. They are also concerned with preventing this from happening to any other non-profit, because as of right now the ex-manager is apparently telling people that he quit because of conflicts with the home office. He could probably get another, similar job, and nobody would be the wiser. It's critical for our charity to save its reputation, because that affects nearly everything.
Apparently a civil suit will be unlikely, since it would cost much more in legal costs and forensic investigation than the charity could ever recover. However, it won't cost them anything to file a police report.
So,
TL;DR: | Since sentences for fraud/embezzlement often include a fine, can we be sure that some/all of this fine will constitute restitution to the wronged party? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My friend [20 F] often brings up breaking up with her boyfriend, my friend, [20 M]?
POST: I have known both for two years.
I had always assumed their relationship was perfect and that her bringing up breaking up was just a passing thought, sort of a joke.
I am unsure how to explain. I usually try to stay neutral when she brings this up, and defend my (guy) friend to explain what I could perceive as his side.
We have been hanging out recently more often and this topic gets broached. Last night we were hanging out and she explained her reasoning on the subject more, and now I can see why she would consider it.
I am unsure how to handle this situation, they are both friends, I gave my advice, for her to talk directly about her issues with him, but I don't know how to handle this situation?
TL;DR: | Friends with guy and girl, girl seriously considers breaking up with guy, I don't know what to say. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20M] want to know if cheating and polyamory is too common for a monogamous relationship in my age group.
POST: EDIT: I know I used "is" instead of "are" in the title. Realized after the fact I didn't correct it.
I spent... 4 years without even touching a girl in any way romantic. Last time I tried dating, I was burned that badly by manipulative women. Now I'm trying again in a new city 500 miles away.
Well. Since then, I have managed to have "flings" with 7 women in only 5 months. This is absolutely insane for me in the first place, because I never had a single date before this. And even now there aren't dates. Things are weird.
Every girl -except for one- has had a boyfriend. Every single one. I'm not trying to date/bang/get with women who are in relationships. I just find out after the fact they "forget" to tell me they're in a relationship, or they are polyamourous.
Disclaimer: first girl was just using me to get over a breakup and moved to another state shortly after.
Now. Polyamourous relationships. I've not met a girl who was really "polyamorous". the 3 girls that told me that, ended up just using me to fill the void left by a bad boyfriend, for second plans when their main boyfriend bailed on them, or were too busy and they were horny.
I am tired of this, honestly. I'm getting ready to go another long time before I feel like asking women for their numbers, or to do something after whatever event we meet at.
I don't give a damn really about sex. I just want a relationship. Someone I can grow and share all the stuff I'm doing with.
So do I just have bad luck, or is this just how the age group (19-25) is?
TL;DR: | For the age group (19-25), is cheating really common, and is polyamory just an excuse to cheat? |