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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] with my brother [19 M] Should I be concerned that he keeps a picture of his crush in his wallet?
POST: [To preface, he had given it to me so I could find a picture of us and our mom which he also has in his wallet, so I wasn't snooping]
I was concerned when I found a picture of him and his crush (a selfie he had printed) in his wallet. When I told him I thought it was slightly creepy, he justified it by saying that (1) Aside from his romantic feelings, they were really good friends and (2) He didn't go on facebook and find a picture of her to print, he had this picture because they had taken it together.
I backed off of course because he was embarrassed and I didn't want to upset him, but I don't want my brother to be one of those creepy obsessive types. Do you think I should let it go or am I right to worry?
TL;DR: | My brother has a picture of him and his crush in his wallet, I'm worried he might be getting a little obsessive and creepy, but he doesn't see it that way. Is it creepy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [M26] tell my family that I am engaged my ex sister in law [F30]?
POST: My brother is 7 years older than me. He was married to my now fiance for a year before he died. That was 9 years ago. Ever since he died I would catch up with her a couple of times a year, out of chance mostly. Over the last 5 years it became more frequent. I tried to ignore the feelings I had for her but I couldn't. 18 months ago we started dating. We didn't tell anyone for obvious reasons, but it was obvious that our feelings were very serious.
Last week I proposed to her and she said yes. I honestly didn't think about my family or hers because for so long those two parts of my life have been completely separate. I am not really that close with my family. I just thought that we would elope or something. I really didn't think it through. I love her so much and being married to her will be amazing, I just need to get through the actual wedding part. We talked today and she wants a big wedding, with all of our family and friends. I just have no idea what to say to my family. My sister was very close to my brother (twins), she will hate me, my father will hate me. I have no idea how my mother will react. The rest of my family will just judge her and I.
I'm really not sure what I'm supposed to say. "Hey mum, dad, just so you know I'm marrying the woman your dead son left behind." At this point I really regret proposing, I just want to go back to how it was before, when no one had to know. I know that this seems crazy from the outside, but what we have together it's worth all of this. I just need some advice.
TL;DR: | My brother died 9 years ago. At the time he was married to the same girl that I am now engaged to. How do I tell my family? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Do I (17) a right to be pissed he (18) didn't invite me to an OU game?
POST: We've been dating 1 year and 3 months, but we only see each other on Saturdays, (he lives 30 minutes away). He, his dad, his brother, and his step-mother are all going to a pretty big football game for our state. Except his step-mom decides not to go, at the last minute. So, that leaves an extra ticket... He called more than 5 people to see if they could go, all without asking me. Fast forward a few hours and he's dropping me off at my house, when I finally ask why he never bothered to ask if I would like to go. His response? "You wouldn't enjoy it."
TL;DR: | My boyfriend has an extra ticket for a game today, but instead of asking me, he just keeps the extra ticket. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: My SO's definition of "semi-formal" to a wedding is the equivalent to my "casual". [F22]
POST: Hey guys, this is probably going to sound very very stupid, but I'm getting super stressed out.
So a couple months ago my SO asked me to go to a wedding with him, and of course I agreed. His family lives pretty far away, so I haven' gotten a chance to meet them yet, and we have to go back to his home town for this wedding, which is a very small town.
I went shopping about a month ago for a dress, and he couldn't come with because he was working, and because I'm a university student, I don't have a lot of money, so my mother came with me to help pay.
Now, my SO told me that the wedding was semi-formal so I went looking with my mom's help and we found a really amazing one that I love. It's kind of [like this style] but without the bedazzled bit and a little more form fitting and it's [this colour](
its all fine and dandy, until my SO finally showed me pictures of the last wedding his family had... the pictures consisted of people wearing jeans (some in nice pants) and people in t-shirts!!!!! To top it all off, apparently he sent his mom a picture of me in the dress, and he told me that she "said it was nice" she actually told him that it was "very possibly fancier then the wedding dress"
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'M MEETING HIS FAMILY
Its too late to return my dress, and none of my friends are as small in size as me, so I can't borrow there's
What do you guys suggest I do? Even words of encouragement would be nice at this point.
TL;DR: | my SO's semi formal is equivalent to my casual. I have a dress for a wedding that is less then a week that is potentially fancier then the brides dress. Help |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30F] Crushing on someone [32?F] who is in a rocky relationship
POST: Met this friend of a friend a few months ago and immediately had a crush on her. I then found out she had a girlfriend, but after hanging out with them it was very apparent they were on the rocks. Put her in the back of my mind until abouta month or so later when I hung out with her again with a group of people. Apparently they HAD broken up, but they had just recently gotten back together. -___-
All I ever hear from mutual friends is that they just argue all the time and they should break up. However I think she is currently in that rosy reconnection phase when you get back together with an ex.
I don't know what to do - just continue to hang out with her, or avoid her? If she was in a good, happy relationship I wouldn't even think about her. But it just seems like it's inevitably going to end.
I am NOT going to try to be a home wrecker, but I kind of want to be there if she does break up. Who knows how long that could take though.
Does this ever work out?? Has anyone started to like someone in the trailling end of a bad relationship and had it work out? I'm certainly planning on dating other people (OKCupid and such) in the meantime and not wait around for her, but I really like her. It sucks :(
I guess I'm looking for evidence that it could work, then I can forget about it momentarily and just do my thing and maybe the timing will be better in the future. The thought of totally ditching my feelings for her seems sad and unnecessary.
TL;DR: | anyone ever meet/start liking someone who was in a bad relationship, and end up with them (in a non-cheating, non-home wrecking way)? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I thought this was an appropriate subreddit: I'm asking you, the community, to be sensitive about this Valentines day. (Or next year's, I suppose)
POST: Hello reader,
I'm glad to see that you've decided to give me a chance. Look- we need to talk. I haven't had time until now to look at Reddit, and I can't believe some of the things you (the community) have upvoted into the highest ranks. Posts talking about how single people will be doing *nothing* but masturbating and crying.
I am not single. There are many people who browse this website who are. I can understand if you want to lighten the mood a bit, but can you be more just a *little* more considerate about the feelings that people have about a day celebrating not being lonely, please?
This is not a plea to "forever-alone'ers". This is to speak to the user who sits alone tonight of any gender or sexual preference and is forced to endure all these things that are telling them that they should feel bad today. It really makes me sick, guys.
I know what it's like to be down like that- and if I was down like I was years ago, then, well- I'm not sure if I'd be able to look at you (the community) as being a supporter of my efforts. Please don't help to make some members feel that way.
I want the sad people to know that ANYTHING can come with time- just please for me, an anonymous guy, try to believe me. I may not know your hurt, but I know the feel. Just give yourself some time. It may be rough, but things WILL get better if you continue on.
I want the people who have supported such offending content to be more cautious. I don't want our community to be anything but stronger, so please- try to be more sensitive about Valentines day, and as the holiday comes to a close, more sensitive long term.
Thank you for reading. I wish you good luck and high spirits.
Sincerely,
-Concerned Member
TL;DR: | I'm asking for you to consider the lonelier members of Reddit and their reactions to the posts that have reached the highest ranks on a holiday that excludes the temporarily intimately stranded.* |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] coming back to my [21 F] wife after a 10 month deployment. Currently scared shitless.
POST: A bit of backstory: My wife and I have been together for 2 years, but because we were both in the Navy, we have been able to spend probably a grand total of 6 months actually TOGETHER. I love this girl more than anything, but I'm running into a pretty big problem-
I'm currently very close to being home after being gone for almost a year overseas. Over that time my wife and I have stayed in daily contact, but things haven't always been peaches and cream.
We're both depressives, and I have pretty severe trust issues that I try to keep in check, but when things come up, I can tell they hurt her, and it kills me when these things happen, so I've been trying to keep myself busy to avoid getting wrapped up over her and obsessing, but as a result she now thinks of me as "a pen pal" and is emotionally distant with me, which fucking hurts. This causes more problems, and now we have steadily been fighting more and more over mundane shit.
In the past week we've been keeping things friendly, but the hurt still very much runs deep in both of us. Add to this the stress from being out to sea forEVER and dealing with the worst bosses I've ever had and I am an emotional wreck.
Now I feel like coming home is the only hope of our salvation I have, but she doesn't seem as excited as I'd hoped about me coming home (which is understandable. She spent the last week at finals and preparing our new home) and I'm not confident that just plopping my depressed, half-crazed ass into her life after a year away is going to do anything but make us both incredibly sad.
Now instead of looking forward to a beautiful reunion, I'm dreading having to confront what could be a devastating reality. I love my wife more than anything in the world, but I'm terrified that we may have grown apart.
TL;DR: | I've been out to sea for 10 months, and I'm terrified that it may have ruined my marriage. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU - by not asking for directions to my interview and forgetting my cellphone
POST: This is one of those rare ones that actually happened today ... although it's not as embarrassing as some ... it is however a screw up .... i've been looking for a job as many people are ... on Monday i get a call for an interview on Wednesday at 3pm ... so i check the address...i know the area well like the back of my hand... 2 days pass day of interview at 1pm i recheck the address i know the area i used to live about 4 blocks away , no worries what so ever... 2:30 i leave for the interview with all that i need get to the address 2:45...i'm 15 minutes early yeah!! (if you show up to an interview on time ... you are late) ...i look and it's a big warehouse with only 1 business in it as far as i can tell... we'll call it "the cinder block" ...but it's not the business where i had the interview ... so i drive around the warehouse looking truck after truck "the cinder block" "the cinder block"... for the life of me i can not see the place ... it's now about 2:50 panic starts setting in ... i start expanding my search ... i'm driving around finding nothing ... it's now about 2:55... i reach for the cell phone ... i had left it at home charging... drive around some more while chanting expletives and cursing myself... 3pm... give up drive home still swearing at myself.... as soon as i get home i phone the place asking for my interviewer... who is of course busy (probably interviewing the person who did ask for directions,has their cellphone and is getting the job)... i leave a polite message of apology and asking to be called back if they still want to interview me (not holding my breath on that one)... i also plan on phoning him tomorrow and apologizing again for wasting his time... so new life rule(s)... always ask for directions even if i know the area and always double check i have the cell with me....first interview i have ever missed... had i asked for directions and/or brought a cellphone... i would not have missed the interview....
TL;DR: | always ask for directions when interviewing even if you know the area well and always take your cellphone...GDMFSOB.... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [17M/17F, 1 year] How to handle my girlfriend's depression?
POST: Hi /r/relationships, my girlfriend of one year has recently been "officially" diagnosed with depression. She says it makes her very apathetic towards everyone and everything a lot of the time. Now, I care about this girl very much, but it's hard to do that when the other person doesn't seem to care at all.
Am I asking for too much if I just want the occasional text, for example? We used to send each other walls of text all the time, now I always initiate conversations and she's much less loquacious to say the least. A lot of times now when I try to kiss her she gives me the cheek or just a quick peck. When I go see her during breaks in school she barely pays attention to me and talks to other people. But then when I walk her home at night on the weekends we always talk a whole bunch, sometimes just like we used to, and she confides in me. I'm the only one in our circle of friends who knows about what she's going through.
It's very confusing for me. I want to understand her and be there for her but I feel like it's also unfair towards me that she makes me feel unwanted. I just want a minimum amount of effort to show that she cares.
Am I not reacting right to this? What should I do? :/
TL;DR: | had a great relationship, but now girlfriend is clinically depressed. She makes me feel unwanted sometimes and I know it's not entirely her fault but it's hard to deal with. She still confides in me and stuff. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23M] with my girlfriend [22F] of 2 years. I keep having sex dreams about someone else.
POST: Hey, I've been having sex dreams about a girl and I'm not sure if I should worry or tell my girlfriend.
I don't have many sex dreams and I don't think they matter much or mean anything, but recently in the last few weeks I've had about 3 sex dreams all with the same girl that I used to know in real life.
I dont have any feelings or attraction to the girl in real life. She used to fancy me before she got a boyfriend, they've been together for a year now.
I dont know why I have these dreams about her but I dont want anything like that with her. Should I tell my girlfriend or just leave it? I dont want her to think I fancy this girl!
TL;DR: | been having sex dreams about a girl who used to fancy me before she had a bf, but I dont fancy her at all. Should I tell my girlfriend or just forget about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Feeling worthless in society
POST: I'm young and newly in the workforce. It's a shit show and I feel I have no right to complain because I'm technically worthless. I'll get paid a shit wage because I'm replaceable and unskilled, so I'll get trodden on, and I can't foresee this EVER improving. I'm old enough now to engage with society properly and I've realised it doesn't exist to mollycoddle me. I don't think I see the virtue in keeping up if I'm an unproductive waste of space.
I'm going to a great uni soon which makes it worse, because I'll be indebted to the government forever and I don't think my qualification will improve this for me, just make people resent me more. My parents didn't get this chance so they're so excited about me going, I feel terrible if I let them down at all. So I have to do it. This cycle makes me miserable.
I don't really enjoy life currently and this is only the start. When the finance grip gets tighter, the work gets worse and my will dissipates even more, god knows what I'll do.
TL;DR: | I've realised I'm worthless in the free market and my plans that I worked so hard for, my best achievements, will not help me. I dread every day. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Help me, Reddit! Should I stay or should I go?
POST: I am 22(f) and he is 27(m) almost 28. Lets call him X.
X and I have been dating for three years. We both come from families with an average income.
Right now I am finishing up at college, but am going to grad school near my hometown (which happens to also be where X lives) for numerous reasons. I am probably one of the most ambitious people I know. I am really set on setting myself up to be successful in the future, and so far, everything is going according to plan for me. I have the connections I need for my chosen field and was even promised a job at my desired work location upon my graduation.
Whats the problem, you ask? He is one of the least ambitious people I have ever met in my entire life. He has a minimal pay job that is unreliable and is living paycheck to paycheck. Absolutely nothing has changed with his situation in the last three years. Yes, there were a few failed attempts at a slightly better job then what he is doing now. But as I said, these were FAILED attempts.
When X and I first met, it was all fun and games. I had no idea what I wanted from my future so I wasn't really concerned about him not really doing anything all day everyday. But now that I am beginning to think about a career. I am much younger then X and I am getting started on this NOW. It hurts because I see that he might not be headed in the same direction as I am. This sucks. I love everything about him. Minus this one aspect, which unfortunately is important, our relationship is flawless. We NEVER fight (I can think of only one major argument throughout our relationship).
I don't know what to do. Should I stay or should I go?
TL;DR: | I am on the road to success and he is content with living paycheck-to-paycheck. Should I stay or should I go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [26F] of six months, long distance confusion
POST: Met a girl online, we've been talking for about six months. We live a few states apart, and we first met each other three months ago, and everything was great. We have talked about a future together, and we have called each other bf/gf in the past.
However, starting about a month ago, she hasn't been texting/calling/Skyping me as often as usual, or she'll say she's going to call me but doesn't.
Yesterday, she told me she was going to call me in about an hour. Well, five hours later, she still hadn't called me. So I called her, and her phone was turned off. I tried calling her again this morning--still no answer. However, about an hour later, she sent me the following text message:
"I'm sorry I didn't call you, I fell asleep. But you need to understand that a long distance relationship isn't like a normal relationship. It's pretty much a 'when there's time for it' thing, or something like a friends with benefits. You need to start thinking about this relationship like that so you don't get hurt."
Then she called me later in the day and we continued to talk as we always have in the past, including planning our next visit in a couple of months.
At first I didn't think much of what she said, but now I'm confused. How can an LDR be a FWB situation--what are the benefits when I only get to see her every six months or so? Should I stop wasting time, money and effort on this relationship, if you can even call it that? I wonder if this is her way of wanting to end things? (Note: Just last week she was talking about how maybe down the road we will be living near each other or even together).
TL;DR: | Long distance girlfriend suggests that we are "like friends with benefits" due to the distance, and I'm confused about what this means for the future of our relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Want to move in with my GF next fall. Any ideas on how to tell/ask my parents about it?
POST: I am 21 years old and a college student. I am still financially tethered to my parents for insurance etc. So, the argument that I can do whatever since I am an adult doesn't apply since I am not completely independent.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 7 years now. We spend everyday together and we share between us 3 animals. We usually just stay at her place since it is where the animals are. So, financially it is dumb for both of us to have a place.
My parents are the type of people that believe in the values of marriage. Also, that a couple should be married before living together. But, they are also very understanding. The problem is they will play the disappointed card, I believe. Or something like " In an ideal world we just wish you were married first." What the hell?
Since we have been dating so long, we don't really see the problem of moving in together. I just need some tips, support, or personal experience from you guys.
TL;DR: | I want to move in with GF (w/o getting married). My parents aren't super conservative but just enough. I need advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] and my girlfriend [22F] have no common interests. Am I expecting too much?
POST: Been dating almost 3 years now. We spend most of our time together, and most, it not all, of our friends are mutual. We each attend two separate nearby colleges, and have very long term plans at the moment.
We're two very different people, and I always felt that was one of the things that makes our relationship work so well - we complement each other. I'm a Computer Science major who loves his video games and tech toys, and she's an English major who writes literature, makes art, and loves fashion. Everything I can't do, she can, and vice versa. I feel we connect on an emotional level, and I feel a comfort and acceptance from her I can't describe.
But herein lies the problem. I feel like we've become stuck in a rut and run out of things to do. The only activity we have in common is watching movies and TV shows, and sometimes I feel like that's not enough. Sitting around and talking about your day can only get you so far, too. We know absolutely everything there is to know about each other - and, while that does bring some comfort with it, it also leaves us with nothing to talk about.
I've brought this up to her, asking her if she'd be interested in picking up a hobby we could both enjoy and do together. After hours of brainstorming, we had nothing besides taking walks together - something I still feel isn't enough. Am I expecting too much from this relationship?
TL;DR: | Run out of things to do in a happy 3 year relationship. Should I seek to remedy this, or simply accept it?* |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28F] friend I've [28M] been dating is insecure after stalking my ex in fb. Dating 10 months before 8 year friendship.
POST: So first of, thanks for the read. It al starts with this girl I've been friends with since almost 8 years. We really didn't try things since we were always at different realtionships, but starting this year I kissed her and things changed between us and we couldn't deny there was always something.
Fast forward November, I don't really keep much contact between my exes but my last one decides to call me and we end up chatting a little ( nothing serious mostly just music) and she ends up posting a song I recommended her on her fb. Just to clear things up my friend and her aren't even friends and never were. So next day I end up seeming my friend pretty pissed about something (which happened to be the song I recommended and she happened to assume that I did recommend it to her, which in this case she was right) she got angry with me and lasted a few days like that. But she never told me the reason why, so I had to find out through some other friends.
We eventually ended up together again but last week the same thing happened and I since then haven't even had contact with my ex since I knew how things ended. I really care for my friend and I wish she could be the one. But things are starting to get pretty fucked up if she's gonna go stalking my ex and assume everything she posts is something about me or it was either a song or movie I didn't recommend.
I tried telling her the truth but she is very angry and I can't figure what to do. She said she wasn't even gonna mention it and that she would be ok in a couple of hours after seeing that. But here's where I wonder if somehow I was also wrong by trying not to clear things up and do all the explaining, since I hate this kind of drama and want to avoid it from happening again.
We're two grown adults, I seriously don't get why this drama is happening. She's known me more than anyone and she knows I would never cheat or do something like that.
TL;DR: | girl I'm dating is paranoid but keeps stalking my ex and thinks everything she posts is about me, thus affecting us when we're doing fine. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M/F] with A girl [18 M/F] How to get over a girls past v2?
POST: Okay I made a recent post on this same subjet and I kinda wanna ask again, but in a more simple way. Leave all the bullshit out and just ask it this way.
How do I get over this girl's ugly past of her sleeping with 8 guys since sophmore year. We're seniors now. She lost her virginity June of 2014. And has slept with 8 guys (4 relationships, other 4 being just for fun/heartbroken sex) and some of the guys that I have found out so far, are guys that I know. She doesn't do this anymore, but man it just bothers me that she's slept with so many guys in a short timespan and have slept with people that I know. As a 18 year old in High School, how do i get over this?
TL;DR: | Girl with ugly past, doesn't do it anymore but has slept with 8 guys since sohpmore year. We're seniors now. How do I get over her sleeping with 8 guys? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [35 M] deal with an old friend [late 30s M] visiting who takes no initiative?
POST: I have an old friend visiting from overseas. I really like the guy and we have great conversations, I'm really happy he's visiting and I know it's costing him time and money to do so. He's clearly investing in maintaining the friendship over the decades. I appreciate that and don't want to slack off on my end (I sometimes visit him in his country too). But, good lord, the guy has zero initiative.
He just wants to follow me around and do whatever I want to do. That's fine for a day or two, but over the course of a week-long international visit I start to despise him and just want to have my space and time to myself, instead of constantly having to host and entertain someone who comes up with no ideas for stuff to do, and has no desire to go do anything on their own.
When I visit distant places (including his city), I have a huge list of stuff I want to do, both on my own and with others. I throw out the option of following my hosts' plan, or entertaining myself, or bringing my host along on the stuff I've planned. I have ideas and try to be flexible, is what I'm saying. He's not me, and that's ok, but I've got to figure out a way to deal with him without resorting to murder.
I've tried directly asking him to come up with stuff to do, or find things for himself to do. No success. I just don't think it's part of how he approaches the world.
So, how do I survive the week without starting to hate my old friend?
TL;DR: | How do I deal with an extended visit from an old friend who takes no initiative and just wants to follow me around? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19] and my parents have started fighting a lot, its causing me a lot of stress and I'm worried I can't handle school due to it
POST: When I was seventeen my parents and I would fight three or four nights in a week. These were huge arguments, screaming, they often got close to hitting me at points. Sometimes they would end in me being told "You're guaranteed to off yourself before you're 20, get it over with and save everyone the trouble."
Things have repaired since then. I've recovered my grades since that time and we stopped fighting. I started volunteering, got a part time job, and started majoring in engineering at my local school.
Now I'm living with them until I change schools in September. I don't have the finances to move out, and feel like its almost pointless when I'm so close to leaving the city.
Problem is that because I'm in school from 6:00-22:00, and working all weekend, I haven't been able to do dishes, clean the house, or make dinners (I don't even eat at home). This causes a lot of friction, and now I don't have time to sleep between the fights, am stressed out, and feel like I'm going back to the depression I had two years ago.
This summer i'll be living with them and working a couple part time jobs before moving. I literally can't handle this fighting. But if I tell them that they'll think I'm ungrateful and lazy, therefore requiring discipline. How do I get across that I need space and support rather than this constant negativity?
TL;DR: | Parents are pressuring me and getting very angry at me. I can't handle this stress and don't know how to confront them about it without causing more trouble. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [23F] Having trouble connecting.
POST: So I guess I'm just wondering if what I am currently going through is normal for most people in their early 20's or if there is something wrong with me.
I move yearly for my job. It's a bit difficult because I have a very hard time connecting with people. I can probably count my friends on one hand. Does it typically take more than a year for people to develop a friendship?
Moreover, I'm not really interested in becoming friends with anyone I work with...but thinking that makes me feel like an asshole...but at the same time, I'm usually a good judge of people from just a couple interactions... and they all seem very different from me. Whenever I get invited out, I find myself waiting for a good moment for me to slip away so I can go home. Or standing awkwardly in the corner listening to someone's conversation.
I also don't have a significant other, and have only ever dated one person (over a year ago)...I can't say I was super in love with them...but being in a relationship was interesting and different so I stuck with it for a while... I haven't really sought another relationship since then, because it just seems like a hassle...
At the same time, I get lonely and wish I had someone around whom I could hang out and laugh and be comfortable with like I do when I'm hanging out with my best friend (whose a hundred miles away)... and I feel like I'm wasting my life locked up in my room... but at the same time, it takes so much energy to go out and try to socialize...
TL;DR: | I have a hard time connecting with people/ wanting to be friends with people. Is this normal? Any protips? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (27/F) developing feelings for a co-worker (26/M) during rough times with my boyfriend (29/M) and unsure what to do
POST: Me and my boyfriend (9 months) used to have a great relationship, however things changed about a month ago when we had our first argument and hit a rough patch.
This also happened to be the same time that I began working with a new co-worker, who I got along great with. He was single but not looking for anything, and I was very happy with my boyfriend until that point and so hadn't even considered anyone else in a very long time (we were friends beforehand too). My new co-worker was great at cheering me up when I was feeling down about how things were going and managed to always be there for me - though I know that that's an unfair comparison because he of course sees me more or less every day whilst my boyfriend does not.
Over the last couple of days it's become clear to me that I'm beginning to develop feelings for my co-worker, and I know that he feels the same way. As for my boyfriend, we worked through the rough patch, for the most part, but parts of it definitely still linger. A particular tipping point is that I did break up with him shortly after the initial incident happened, but we both realised neither of us wanted that and decided we would try again - plus to his credit he has really listened to everything I had to say and has been working hard on improving the areas I mentioned, as have I.
I'm not sure what to do now - I've never been in a situation like this before. I can't deny that I have definite feelings for my co-worker, but I was also always completely happy with my boyfriend until this happened. I am not sure whether it would be better to spend more time or less time with him, and of course my co-worker has an advantage in that he seems me all the time. Normally I would distance myself from the other person, but in this case we are two of four people working on a project so that is not an option at all.
Help?!
TL;DR: | During a rough patch with my boyfriend of a previously always happy relationship, began to develop feelings for a co-worker and am now not sure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Any advice on choosing when to be frugal and when not?
POST: In the wake of a divorce, I'm starting over with not much more than a Ikea bed. He kept almost all the household stuff, but I have a new job and can afford to spend a little bit on myself in order to be comfortable and not feel like a broke college student. But what do I spend my money on, and where should I be frugal? Where's the biggest experience value for my buck?
Right now, my contemplations are focusing on a TV and plates and silverware, but I'm sure I'll start filling my new apartment up as I nest a bit. (If it matters, I'm a 40-something single female, starting over in a new town.)
TL;DR: | Where are you really glad that you didn't buy bargain basement? What did you skimp on where it didn't make a difference -- or where it *did* make a difference? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Infidelity] I (22M) overheard my girlfriend (21F) saying she likes another guy and wants to date him, but she still want to go out with me, and I still like her, what do I do?
POST: Pretty much what you read up there, we dated January through March, but I kissed another girl at my mom's wedding and she broke up with me shortly after, then we dated again from April to May, but then she broke up with me, then again from last week to now. I've really ruined my relationships with my best friend(I kind of pushed him to the side when he was going through a rough moment) but I don't really care because I love her. I think we're going to have sex soon and that should fix the relationship, but I can't have sex with her knowing she might be thinking of another man, which I think because I heard her the other day loud and clear talking about it.
I love her, but I'm not sure how to handle the situation, I need someone to just listen to me and give me advice
TL;DR: | New relationship with a girl I love, but she likes another guy I'm positive and I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not letting a child missing all four limbs go down a water slide
POST: This actually happened 2 years ago but there is no ifu2ya so I thought this would be a good place for it. I used to work at a family resort as a lifeguard and trained a bunch of the newbies that came in to work for the summer. Our resort had a water slide that emptied at the pool. I was training a new person how to dispatch people down the slide. When a little girl with no arms or legs just nubs(think Patrick Star)and water wings, managed to make her way up the stairs. Her dad was waiting for her at the bottom but for legal reasons we are not allowed to let him wait directly under the slide. I have to tell you that normally I would avoid the awkwardness and let her go down.(Hey she made her way up on her own) but since I was training I had to suck it up and ask her dad if she was ok to make the 10 feet swim without his help. The little girl poked her head through the railings and her next words broke my heart(I have never felt so low in my life)."daddy they won't let me go down!". Everyone who was waiting in line passed judgement on me as I walked down to talk to her dad. Who informed me that she could make the swim and at the same time let me know what I bitch I was for singling her out. She ended up going down with no problem and swimming to her dad.
TL;DR: | I didn't let a littler girl with no arms or legs go down the slide in fear she might drown. Her dad called me a bitch and she swam fine... Still feel like shit to this day. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by making my teacher swear for possibly the first time
POST: Hey there Reddit, I've been a big lurker and this is one of my favourite sub-reddits to browse and today I have fucked up. A little information, the catering course we have at my school is taught by my one and only teacher and we pretty much make food for others in the school and a little for ourselves majority of the time. Now my catering teacher doesn't swear, he does get angry at times but I think I've been the first one to make him swear without realizing it at first.
It was an average Tuesday morning, everything was going fine, we just finished making our food and started cleanup for our unit. We had a good amount of vegetables leftover and here's where I messed up, my partner walks up to me and asks "what should I do with this?", not paying much attention I replied with "throw it in the compost" because I thought it was the bowl with all the ingredients left over that would go in there, but I was wrong. What I thought was the compost was actually all the vegetables we had leftover which had our teacher come over to our unit and give us a lecture and at one point said "don't fucking waste this shit, I'll always collect whatever's left at the end". I didn't realize the mistake I made until I saw what was in the bowl and just sat there.
My teacher's nice, he's chill but he does get angry at times if appropriate.
TL;DR: | Didn't pay attention to which bowl had the compost and ended up having my teacher yell at us while swearing for possibly the first time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [M24/F22] Couples who different schedules, how did you learn to adjust? (xpost from /r/relationship_tips)
POST: Length of relationship: 1.75 years.
My girlfriend now works 2pm-11pm Monday-Friday. I work 6am-4pm Monday-Thursday, so we can only really see each other briefly Thursday night, briefly Friday morning, and on Saturday and Sundays... The last year we spent 95% of our days together because we had matching work schedules.
So... I now feel far removed from my best friend... and it sucks, it's surprisingly comparable to what I imagine withdrawal symptoms would feel like for someone quitting an addiction. Before her work schedule changed I thought it would be easier to adjust than this.
I guess what I'm looking for is some feedback from people who've been through similar situations. How did you cope at first? What made things better, what made things worse? I should clarify that we don't live together but are planning on moving together later this year (probably summer)
TL;DR: | Girlfriend and I are having some trouble adjusting to her new work schedule, which has us spending a lot less time together than we're used to / than we'd like. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Grounds for termination? Is this fair?
POST: I have a crappy part time retail job that I am glad to have after being unemployed for months. Now they are ~~asking~~ requiring every employee to submit a bio of our "passion" (it's a sporting goods store, so sports or outdoor activities only). This bio includes two pictures, one of us doing our "passion" and one profile picture taken in the store by a cashier. Then they make it into a poster and put it on the sales floor. Thing is, I am a *very* private person and think I should have the right to opt out of this. I have only worked there a couple of months and don't want to get on the management's bad side or worse, get fired. So what do you think? If I reject their request will they fire me? Or should I just submit a total bullshit bio and go home and cry underneath my coffee table after every shift?
TL;DR: | Corporate folk want to make a poster with my picture and a short bio and put it on sales floor. I am want to say no without fear of losing my job. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My friend 28 (28m) has cheated on his wife (28f) of 2 years and came to me for advice.
POST: So my friend Ross has been with his wife Rachel for 8 years and married 2 of those years. He just told me today that he met someone from work and has been carrying on a relationship with her, Phoebe (36f), for 2 months.
He said that he has felt bored with Rachel and that she is more like his mom than his wife. They don't have much in common and are drifting apart.
They have a house and car together and Rachel has a child from a previous relationship.
Ross says that Phoebe and him connect in a deeper way and they have more in common.
I told him that he needs to ask himself where he sees himself in 5 years. If he wants to be with Rachel he should try couples counseling but if he wants to Perdue Phoebe then he should consult a lawyer to see how to proceed.
I don't know what else to say, I'd like for him to work things out with Rachel but right now he seems to be head over heels for Phoebe.
Right now he is drunk and passed out on my sofa because Rachel found out about Phoebe.
TL;DR: | My best friend cheated on his wife and needs to choose between her and his mistress, I don't know what to say. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Is it worth even going for? How long do I wait?
POST: Ok, so I just started grad school about a month ago and am getting my PhD. I came into the program with 3 girls and all 4 of us get along really well. I have great rapport with all of them and we all hang out together most days of the week because we have the same classes/lab/etc. We also go out and do fun things on the weekends together as well.
Hanging out with these girls all the time, it was only a matter of time before I started having feelings for one of them. She is totally my type and I think we would be a good couple but there are multiple problems. First of all, because of our "group" and the fact that we're all going to be together for the next 4 to 5 years, I don't even know if it is smart to get involved with any of them... Secondly, she has a boyfriend of 6 six years that (as of recently) now lives two hours away. They've kinda been on again, off again for the last couple of months with the uncertainty of the distance, but she seems very much into him still.
So, reddit, what do I do? I'm thinking I should just bide my time, hope the distance is too much and they break up while exploring other options.... but still not totally sure.
Also, worth noting, I just got out of a 2.5 year relationship 6 weeks ago (first big love/relationship) and am still getting over it.
TL;DR: | Like a girl, but we have to work together for the next 4/5 years and she has a serious LDR, worth even thinking about? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25M] met someone online [25F], and when our chat started turning sexual, they informed me they were trans.
POST: Title pretty much says it all. We had good chemistry. But its kinda a case where my expectations suddenly did not line up with reality. And I'm not sure how I, a straight male, feel about the situation. We had a date lined up and everything. But now the image I was building in my head is.....well, flipped on its head a bit.
I'm not 100% against the idea, but it feels like I kinda got dropped into it, without being aware of what I was getting into. And so now I guess I kinda feel this pressure of....well I dont want to be rude and just say no because she is trans. But it also feels like it was a bit misleading. Anyone know what I mean?
I guess its rude to ask about their...parts? but then I have no idea what like.....sex would entail.
I've been doing a lot of reading around on this and other sites about the topic, but it hasn't really been enough to clear things up for me one way or another.
so...help?
TL;DR: | met a cute kinky [f] online. set up date, got to sexy chat. turns out shes a [mtf]. I am confused now. help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (24m) have been feeling less attached to my gf (23f) of 3 years.
POST: As the title states I have been dating my gf for 3 years now. I truly believe the first 2 years were the happiest of my life. I love her. However over the last year or so I have been feeling less and less attached to her. Sometimes when I look at her I feel nothing at all anymore. I really miss the happiness I used to have when I would lay eyes on her.
I feel that we have less and less in common. My job is highly time consuming and I am not really able to talk to her about it with her understanding. The part I feel worst about is that through the relationship she has gained a lot of weight and physically I am less attracted then I used to be to her. I have never considered myself shallow but she just looks different then she used to. I have made attempts to work with her in the gym and dieting but she rarely followed through on her own. I really just want someone to talk to about how I feel, and I don't think I could with her.
TL;DR: | dating 3 years and have less in common now then before and I don't feel as attracted to her physically or emotionally . |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: 230 to 175 [M; 26; 5'11''] Took me 4 yrs but I did it. You can do it also!
POST: Been a lurker on the loseit subreddit for a few months now. I really enjoy reading inspiring stories of people who lost a lot of weight and have kept it off. I just wanted to share my story to those seeking motivation. This is my first post on reddit ever so I hope I did everything right.
During my senior year of college, I weighed my heaviest at 230 lbs. From eating unhealthy to late night frat parties, I was destroying myself but didn't really care. I tried 4 years on and off to lose weight with some success but would gain it right back.
I started a new job in 2010 and my weight stayed in the range of 195 - 205 due to constant work travel and late work nights. In March 2012, my twin brother (who was the fit one in the family) forced me to make a promise to run the Disney World 2013 Half-Marathon with him. I had never ran more than a 5K in my life. 13.1 miles seemed daunting.
With a promise made and his motivation, I set up a running program and made myself run (I also did cross-training on my rest days). I swore off fast food and soft drinks (I can't even drink them now because they are too sweet for me!). I started to do my research on what foods to eat and started cooking my own food more. The pounds started coming off within a few weeks and months. My goal was to run and finish with my brother.
I hit my goal weight of 175 in May 2012. Much earlier than I thought but I maintained my fitness goal and weight and ran the Disney World Half-Marathon with him last month. I almost cried when I crossed the line with him as it was a close of a chapter in my life that I had struggled with since college.
Now, my goal this year is to run my first marathon and to do the Goofy Challenge with my brother in 2014 (39.3 miles in two days). I am also trying to gain more lean muscle mass for myself.
TL;DR: | 230 in 2008, promise to run with brother in 2012. Reached goal weight of 175 in 2012 and wanting to keep that for 2013. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [17F] moved in with my [20M] family and my mom [47F] is making it a bit hard to handle.
POST: So my girlfriend recently moved into my family home that I share with my dad [50M] brother [17M] and mom. Everything is usually fine and smooth but as of late my mom has been up our asses about hanging out in the same bed when anyone else who lives in the home is around. Specifically my brother
I know she's probably thinking about how awkward the situation is for him but what she may not know is he's sexually active with his girlfriend and not totally naive to what me and my gf would be doing living in the same house.
The not hanging out in bed thing has been a recent trigger for many fights. Because of the no hanging out in bed arrangement we (me and gf) get up early and go watch tv downstairs alone. Today I was gone for five minutes in the bathroom and she was cold so hopped in under the covers. Like I said I'm not there with her because I'm not wanting to start any fights that could lead her away back to her old home situation (it was kind of rough but out of her privacy I shouldn't go into details.) So I'm in he bathroom and my mom sees her in my bed, freaks out that the brother would be the wrong idea and it causes a huge fight in the morning...
So r/relationships please help me keep my gf comfortable here while helping me decide what I should do about my mom's tyrannical view of beds.
TL;DR: | my mom blows a fuse anytime she sees gf in my bed regardless of me in there with her or not and she has a tough time dealing with the rules as do I what should we do |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dear reddit, I need a book on atheism for my christian sister. (Not Dawkins or Sam Harris)
POST: So, for Xmas my sisters gave me a book called "Letters from a sceptic", they gave it to me so I'd stop pestering them with questions about their religion, since it contains a lot of them most typical ones. We usually have good debates about religion vs atheism, and they are both intelligent and clever individuals.
That book was sorely lacking (surprise surprise :p), and I also would like to return the favour (my oldest sister turns 23 in a couple of days).
What I'm after: A good book on atheism or that answers most christian "issues" in a reasonable way. I'm not looking for something to mock their faith, but I'd like them to be able to read up on how atheism compares to christianity.
TL;DR: | Looking for a reasonable book on the atheist perspective towards christianity, not a militant book aimed at the unfaithful |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by telling my cousin that my brother's girlfriend is preggers.
POST: SOOOOOO basically, I told my cousin about my brother's recent announcement to me, my mom, my grandma, and basically half of our family. He hasn't told my dad. They live with my dad. He has no job. He's had a really bad couple of months, and this was supposed to be good news, but my dad will be a dick about it.
My cousin went and told his girlfriend, who's good friends with my OTHER brother's girlfriend, and let the cat out of the bag. Everyone in that house will know in a matter of days, if not within A DAY. So my brother will probably get kicked out on his ass with a kid to support.
I got kicked out of the house over some bullshit, so I'm staying a mile away from that shit, but I still feel really bad.
TL;DR: | Told my cousin who told his girlfriend who told my brother's girlfriend who told my other brother that my middle brother got his girlfriend preggers. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24F] do not know how to set boundaries appropriately?
POST: Hello, world of Reddit. This is my first post here so please bear with me if anything is out of place.
I know for a fact that I struggle with social situations.
A little background. I'm 24, I am a senior psychology undergraduate student. And yes, I am going into the mental health field. My friends often come to me for advice, consolation, and the like, which I don't mind, and in fact, I love giving advice when I have the emotional energy to help.
I've been recently finding myself in situations where I feel taken advantage of: where neither my humanity, my needs, nor my obligations are observed, and that I am expected to be either the fixer or the problem-solver whenever other people need. I kind of feel as if I am treated as someone who does not actually have these functions.
And in some cases, I feel many relationships become imbalanced or where the only aspect of the relationship is listening to problems; never low key things like playing video games together, bonding over pizza, or taking a walk in the sunshine. Or watching Netflix together. Or hanging out in the same room, quietly, doing my own thing with someone else there if something needs to be said. Talking about the universe!?! Or even just about how a crazy day went.
I know I've always had a problem with setting boundaries because my automatic assumption is that others mean well and that I should be patient with them, though clearly that is not always the case. Some people have strictly used me to vent – basically not valuing me outside of the benefit that I'm a person they come to to fix things.
I don't know what boundaries I need to set, or how to make them known, so I don't end up in dynamics that end up being one-sided and not fulfilling at best, toxic at worst.
I like helping people, this includes listening to them when I have a bad day, but how do I make the distinction to others and draw the line between what's acceptable and what's not?
I would appreciate constructive feedback on how to improve my life for the better.
TL;DR: | I don't know how to get what I want out of friendships. It seems like I end up in friendships where I get taken advantage of and treated like an object. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Had a one night stand with my roommate now things are awkward. I need help.
POST: Ok, full details: We've been living close to a year together now, she's 27 i'm 24. She had a boyfriend until pretty recently but since he moved away she's been single for a couple of months, although i am pretty sure she means to start dating a mutual friend of ours. I have had some girls over, some repeats but never more than 2 or 3 times per girl, my roommate is aware that I have had girls over and that most of them only stay one night. One last bit of background, we had definitely broken the touch barrier before, we sometimes scratch each others backs or give foot massages and back rubs.
The event happened as follows:
It was Friday night and we decided not to go out, a friend of mine had arrived in town and was staying the night. We each had a couple of cans of beer and started to watch a movie. Both me and my roommate fell asleep on one couch (couch is pretty big, we can fit 2 deep easily) and after a while my friend fell asleep in the other couch. I woke up to the bathroom and then coming back ended up with one of my hands on her tummy, (didn't really mean anything sexual) after a while she moved her hand to my my thigh and started rubbing. After a while of mutual rubbing she move my hand to her breasts and grabbed my crotch. To cut it short, we decided to move to my room and had sex twice (this might or might not be important, the second time we did it without a condom, she had a morning after pill afterwards.).
We've spoken since, but not about that night, and we have been seeing each other very little lately, she seems to be spending a large amount of time outside of the house during the time i am usually in. There has been some more touching but nothing sexual and there is a certain atmosphere in the air. I just want to have things back the way they were, she is a kickass roommate and the place is fantastic.
Any ideas on how i should proceed, even if your suggestion is "wait and see" will help me keep my mind.
TL;DR: | Had a one night stand with my roommate, things have been weird, i do not want to loose her as a roommate or the place we live in. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (23) fiancé (24) has a very low sex drive whereas I have a very high one, along with not being very expressive of her emotions and I'm struggling.
POST: We recently got engaged and had a big fight and almost broke up, the same issues continue to bother me and I'm at a loss for what to do... We'll argue about them but fundamentally nothing really changes. We have talked and she's said things will change when we live together but I'm not so sure. As far as our sexual chemistry, when we do have sex it's amazing. For me it's an emotional connection and draws me closer to her but she could take it or leave it. I love her with all my heart and can't bear the thought of cheating or leaving her so I feel very torn. Advice? Help?
(
TL;DR: | ) my SO and I are at opposite ends of the gender role spectrum mentally and emotionally and I'm seeking to reconcile it and get her to open up to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How Do I Get My Younger Brother to Wear His Seatbelt?
POST: My little brother and I were hanging out last night and, when he went to drive home late, I told him to call me to make sure he got home safe. He didn't call me, so today after class, I called him. We talk for awhile and he mentions that he got another "bullshit ticket" on his way to work. I asked what for and he said it was a seatbelt violation.
Well, I pretty much fly off the handle because this is his second seatbelt violation this year. I asked him to tell me his reasoning behind not wearing a seatbelt. I told him that it doesn't matter how competent of a driver you are, other people can cause you just as many accidents as you can, and that it's just a good "insurance policy" to always wear a seatbelt.
Long story short, he didn't want to hear about it. I got off the phone angry and disappointed in my little brother for being so careless.
But now that I think about it, I'd rather him wear his seatbelt than me "be right" in this situation. Any thoughts, O Dear Hivemind?
TL;DR: | My brother got his second seatbelt violation of the year today and I'm worried about his safety, but unsure of how to instill this habit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by being a sarcastic jerk.
POST: So today we had an important final board exam. It's our Physics IGCSE. This one guy is really terrible at academics and we all make fun of him. Today he shows up 10 minutes before we go into the exam hall, having barely studied. He asks us, the other guys, what the formula is to find the gradient of a graph. This one guy sarcastically gives him a different formula. We all laugh and go along with it.
Well, in the exam, they ask us this question based on the gradient of the graph. I answer it and move on. I go home after finishing the exam. Normally, us guys hang out after the exam and discuss the papers. The guy I mentioned doesn't join us usually, because the school thinks he has a learning problem, and so he gets 1.5 times as much time to write the exams as us. (I don't think he actually has a disability. He just doesn't concentrate in class and puts a bare minimum of effort into studying.)
I go home and all seems right in the world. Except, a few hours later, I get a message from a friend who was with us when we told the dumb guy the wrong formula. He tells me that that guy used the formula we gave him, costing him (at least) 2 marks. We're still figuring out how to come clean and make up for it. I feel terrible; despite not being directly responsible, I'm partly to blame since I went along with it.
(It makes me feel a bit better that I also got that question wrong, judging from what my friends answered.)
TL;DR: | gave a dumb guy a wrong formula before an exam, he used the formula we gave him instead of the correct one. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: For awhile I have been living a lie so as to not hurt my friends and family, I don't know if I can go on like this much longer. What should I do?
POST: Closet athiest here, well 99%, I guess that technically makes me agnostic. I grew up in a Mormon family, served a mission for the church, and got married to an amazing woman (that I love dearly) in a Mormon temple. I have been married for nearly two and a half years, and have recently found out that my wife is pregnant with our first child (a little sooner than I hoped but not all birth control is 100% effective I guess).
About a year and a half ago I came to terms that I just don't believe there is a god. I carefully brought this up to my wife around that time and was saddened to see how much it hurt her to think that I had 'lost my faith', I couldn't continue to talk about it so I pretended I was just going through a phase and never brought it up again. I know my family as well as some of my friends would react in the same way as her if they found out.
I am becoming more and more resolved in my unbelief in god everyday. But I still go to church every week with my wife, and do the whole prayers and reading scriptures thing. I do this all to not hurt my wife, she has a lot of faith and I respect that, and she is the most amazing person in my life, I don't think I could live with myself seeing her hurt. I think it would almost be like a betrayal to her.
I feel like a coward for hiding and constantly pretending. I have nobody to talk to, and no idea if I should just come clean and be done with it.
I guess a follow up to this would be, has anyone else ever been in a situation like this, did you get through it? how?
TL;DR: | Closet atheist pretending to still be Mormon so he won't destroy his wife and family emotionally, mostly his wife. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Using PRBC for FICO expansion, and other thoughts about having no credit.
POST: My husband (30M) and I (26F) are new to credit (we both have none), and just purchased a new car with some very gracious financial assistance from family members (who we will be paying back over the next few years).
Now we are on track to begin building credit, and in the meantime, we have both started using PRBC online to build an alternate line of credit, hoping that it might be usable for a FICO expansion score in the future for loans and possibly for our current credit card application, in case we are not approved.
I'm wondering if anyone has used or is using PRBC, and if so, have you had a good experience with them? Apparently their website is still in beta (how has it taken this many years for them to go online?!) and I am having a rough time getting my account going and reasonably useable.
My husband had no issue creating and verifying his account, but when I tried to create mine, it wouldn't accept it, saying that they could not verify my ssn. I realized that I had entered my birthday wrong, so I tried again and it still gave me the error on the ssn. After backing up my identity with tax documents, customer support seemed to indicate that it was a site error and that they would resolve it by the end of today. They still haven't fixed it, but I was able to get into my account somehow and add new personal information. However, if I try to go to my main page it pulls up the application window that discredits my ssn. At this point I'm worried about identity theft.
With that problem, along with the problems that go along with the site being in beta, I've been questioning the legitimacy of the company. They are, as best I can tell, federally recognized as a reporting agency, but man they aren't coming across that way. I'm hoping someone here can ease my worry and anxiety a bit about PRBC.
TL;DR: | Is PRBC trustworthy and worth it to try and build alternate credit as part of the FICO expansion score, considering I have no credit and will be slowly building it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [21 M] be close to a friend [21 F] without her falling for me?
POST: There was a girl who I always had a liked for about 5 or 6 years. Let's call her Jessica. Recently we hung out just to catch up. She had a boyfriend at the time and this fact was tearing me apart. So to get over Jessica, I found someone else and am starting to pursue that person. However, I've been getting closer to Jessica this past month. Apparently, she broke up with her boyfriend. I don't know if I was a factor for this, but I don't really want to know now. I am still trying to pursue this other girl, but I want to continue my friendship with Jessica. I don't want to vanish. I'm getting the feeling that she may be into me. I rather we stay friends, maybe even good friends. I don't want to lead her the wrong way. What can I do to be close to her without her falling for me?
TL;DR: | I used to like Jessica, but now I am pursuing someone else. I want to be friends with Jessica, but I don't want her to fall for me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] having trouble getting over ex [20 F] even though its been a over 7 months.
POST: Hey everyone, I broke up with my ex about about 7 months ago or so, I struggled with it terribly for the first few months, don't want to go into detail but it was bad.
Anyways after about 4 months I finally started to move on and stopped caring eventually. I hardly thought about her anymore, or at least not a quarter as much as I used to. But recently I've fixed my old PC that I had when I was still with her and I forgot my hard drive had all of my old journal entries about her and old pictures and reminders of things we did together and suddenly my heart started pounding and I felt miserable all over again, it felt like we just broke up again and I could hardly breathe.
I dont look up anything about her, I havent talked to her in months. I hadnt even seen a picture of her for about 6 months before I turned on my old PC, but I'm apparently still struggling with it whether I realize it or not. She wasn't a nice person and we had a terrible relationship for the last few months, she made me miserable but I still have lingering feelings and I have NO IDEA why.
Since we broke up I got a job, started going to school again, got a few girls numbers and finally started flirting and talking to women after waiting for months. I have regained a social life.
What can I do to make these shit feelings go away? Some of my friends told me it took years for them to get over girls and that just terrifys me, I hate thinking about her and it hurts badly. I know there aren't shortcuts but I thought doing what I'm doing now would help and it just seems like it hasn't. Please help me.
TL;DR: | Thought I was over my ex, guess I wasn't. Improving my life isn't helping like everyone said it would, what do I do now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I met a girl at a party... what do I do now!!? Please advise!
POST: Hola Reddit!
So here's the deal- I went with a friend to his fraternities party, and I met this wonderful girl there, and we really hit it off. We were dancing and talking for a while but eventually her and her friends wanted to leave (does it matter that this was their first time "out" ever?)
So anyway they left but before they did we traded numbers (and last names too so we can find each other on facebook)
So the question is what do I do now! I like her, and I'd like to get to know her better, but I don't want to be a creeper either. Should I wait for her to text/ friend request me? If not how long should I wait?
TL;DR: | Met a girl at a party, we hit it off, traded numbers, I want to see her again but how long should I wait to text her/ what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [20M] Did I miss my chance? What can/should I do?
POST: Hey guys, just looking for a bit of advice for my situation, sorry if it's a bit long. Little bit of background, I'm a 20 year old guy, interested in a 20 year old female friend, we are both juniors and both attend the same university.
Okay, so we've been friends since freshman year, and things have always been going pretty smoothly. We both suffer from social anxiety/depression, and have a lot of interests (politics, shows, movies, music, etc.) in common.
Over the years she always joked that we "were pretty much a chick flick" and would end up getting together despite anything that came up. Even when we got drunk and made out this semester (3 separate times), I still kinda laughed the 'chick flick' thing off, but somewhere I knew she was right and we were getting a lot closer together. Anyway, she started getting a bit more hormonal, and when I was away for a weekend she slept with a mutual friend of ours. This is where the problem started.
It became more than a one-time thing, and while they aren't exactly dating, they're at least friends with benefits. She's even said she wasn't really into him at first, but now she likes the FWB. She also said she only got with him to start with because she wanted to lose her virginity, and I didn't put out enough.
It's gotten to the point where I know I'm interested in her, and I'm getting upset seeing her be FWBs with my friend. I want to tell her how I feel because I feel very strongly that we would work well together (not to mention that my friend is very judgmental towards people who drink, people who need anti-depressants, etc., and has made her very upset/cry multiple times with his statements).
Can anyone help me figure out what I should say to her? I'd like to prevent things from getting super awkward if possible, but I don't feel like I can stand around doing nothing anymore...
TL;DR: | Female friend was willing to move further, I was unsure, she starts being FWB with a friend, I know I'm interested now, what do I do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend [17F] of 9 months heading off to university, whilst I [18M] am staying home. Advice for long(ish) distance?
POST: First time poster on this sub. Look forward to reading your comments! :)
I've been with my girlfriend since the end of December 2012. We have gone through so much together with being seniors in high school and all the drama about prepping for the future. She's helped me find my way and support my plans for the future and I've done the same for her, she's heading to university now when in December she didn't even think she would be graduating.
She will be moving to a small townhouse with another roommate about 20min from her university in Toronto, Canada. I am staying at home.
I literally just got home from dropping her off at her current house; she is packing and moving throughout the next few days. We spent the latter part of the evening in tears on her couch, which is big because she doesn't cry all that much.
Her house she will be moving to is probably only a 40+/- minute drive from my place, so not unfeasible by any means, but in comparison to the current 7 minutes is a lot.
She has been in a long distant relationship before with her previous boyfriend, however their relationship wasn't good at all. She wasn't happy with him and he treated her like garbage, so I understand her apprehension.
We both are willing to try it, and I know it's going to be a big change for both of us and not necessarily easy. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated :)
TL;DR: | Gf [17F] of 9 months moving & heading to university, but I [18M] am staying home. Advice for long distance. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I tell him [19 M] that I [19 F] have feelings for him.
POST: Okay I started working at this restaurant a couple months ago. A couple weeks after working at this store, I met my coworker Tim. I really liked him when I met him. He is funny, cool, we both like the same movies and he is just a great guy. He is also incredibly kind and sweet. We also vent to each other when we are stressed about work and stuff.
Now I talked to my friend and she said he has nothing but good things to say about me and that he thinks I am funny. Now she thinks it is possible he could like me but I think he likes me platonically. He also says he likes being single.
We have talked casually about other girls and I am pretty sure he is attracted to them not me. In all honesty, it is not hard to see why. I am overweight (5'6" and 190 lbs) and he probably isn't attracted to me. Now I am losing the weight but that takes time. Should I just tell him how I feel? I don't want to weird him out by being that fat chick with a crush on him, but the best way to get over him would be to tell him how I feel, right?
Btw, I quit working at this place but we keep in touch a lot.
TL;DR: | I have a crush on my former coworker and do not know if I should tell him. Should I just tell him in order to make getting over him easier? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Worried that my boyfriend bases our entire relationship on sex...
POST: Relationship is just over a year old, I am 20f, he is 22m.
Earlier this year he asked me to move into his place with his parents over the summer, because in September he is going to school, and I will be going to school for my final year as well. So I took the summer off from my job and am living in his house with his family.
We were talking today about his friend and his girlfriend who have been going out for around 3 years now and my boyfriend mentioned that they probably haven't had sex yet. My boyfriend and I had sex after 2 months of dating... I asked him how far we would have gotten if we had never had sex and he said that I probably wouldn't have moved in this summer if we hadn't.
So then I asked him what would happen to us if I started to abstain. He just got his cute pouty face on and said that he enjoys our physical side. Then he said that he would probably just ignore me and throw himself into his hobbies so that he doesn't think about sex, or me.
I thought that he had asked me to move in because he loves me... but now it feels like he only asked me to move in because it's easier to have sex whenever he wants it. The sex itself is completely one-sided too... We've been sexually active for 10 months and I haven't been able to orgasm with him once.
So, it's like I said. I used to believe that he wanted me here because he loves me, but now I think he's mostly concerned about sex. I know that he cares about me a lot; he says so and shows me so. But this has really shaken my entire view of our relationship. Any advice on how I can get over this?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend said he would ignore me if I abstained from sex, and that he wouldn't have asked me to move in this summer if we weren't sexually active. Thoughts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Feeling horribly guilty and anxious about telling my boss (who is a good friend) I'm quitting
POST: Throwaway username for obvious reasons.
I am in a professional healthcare position, but I'm relatively young in my career. Straight out of school (doctoral-level), I got my current job. I've been there now for right at a year, and while I love my job and my coworkers, there are a few downsides. First, I have to commute nearly an hour each way on a busy, dangerous interstate. My office is about 50 miles from my home. Also, while I have excellent benefits and some flexibility to my schedule, I'm grossly underpaid for my position.
That being said, I've been pretty happy and wasn't actively looking for another job; however, I was just offered a job with much better pay, plus it's a telehealth (work-from-home) type job. This is huge considering I just had a baby and hate being so far away from her at my current job. My husband and I feel like this job is a better fit for me right now, but I'm feeling extreme anxiety and guilt over telling my boss. My boss has become a good friend in the time I've been here and has been so good to me. Not to mention I already feel bad because she and her husband have been going through a really hard time trying to have (and keep) a baby, and my husband and I came up pregnant unexpectedly a few months after I started my job and now have a healthy baby girl. I already had to break the news that I was pregnant, now here I am again with upsetting news. I just got back from a 6 week maternity leave about a month ago.
Also I should mention that our clinic is not very large, so if I leave right now (my job offer wants me to start in two weeks), it leaves her with a ton of extra work until she finds my replacement. Which may take a while - this is not a field that people frequently job-hop. I'm making myself sick over the stress of telling her. But I know deep down that this is the right move for us. Help! Any advice about how to handle this awkward, horrible situation?
I've seriously considered turning down the job offer just to save us both this heartache.
TL;DR: | My boss is wonderful and a good friend who is having personal problems of her own - now I have to break the news that I'm leaving for another job after only one year. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Not enough time together? (F21/M21)
POST: Hey Reddit,
So I'll make this quick--My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months, but are in a very serious and loving relationship. We attend different universities in the same city. We have both been very busy (engineering/math/jobs/extracurriculars), and it takes roughly 40 minutes to get to each other via public transportation. Anyway, we see each other on the weekends, and he usually comes to my place at least once during the week. However, lately I've just been exhausted--feeling like any free time I have should be devoted to working, studying, etc. I am completely in love with him and LOVE spending time with him, but I'm just starting to notice myself having less and less opportunities to see him.
I actually feel guilty for not having as carefree a schedule as I did prior to meeting him. On top of this, I often find myself apologizing to him and just straight up asking if I'm frustrating him.
So, does anyone have any suggestions on how to keep our relationship stress-free and..well..a thing?
Thanks! :D
TL;DR: | My SO and I live ~40 minutes apart with busy and conflicting schedules. Looking for some advice on managing our time together |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Confused how to keep this friendship going
POST: I (M24) and my best friend (F22) have run into a bit of a snag. Now to make a long story short we had been together for a year and we decided to go back to being friends.
I took it a little hard and at first tried to end the friendship because she was making me feel like I wasn't even part of her life. We worked through it and things seemed okay she made a point we both needed some space.
Recently though I talked to her about how I barely feel like a part of her life and how she makes me feel like a stranger it was like we were barely friends. Suddenly she starts telling me she barely feels like we're friends and she hates it but she still wants space.
All I have to say is wtf does that mean.
TL;DR: | was in a relationship with best friend broke up and tried to give each other space but space made us both feel like we were barely friends. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: FINAL UPDATE: I, F[18], fell in love with a M[29] when I was only [7] and he was [18]. Please read..
POST: [Original Thread](
TL;DR: | Parents and brother were fine with it, but he still wants to wait till im 21. I'm going to do what makes him comfortable and I know in 3 years I will be the happiest woman alive. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 F] with my ex [23 M] 3 months decided it was best to end things, still hung up on his ex.
POST: In January, he broke up with his ex of 2ish years because she moved away. We started seeing eachother in February, while he told me he didn't want anything serious, and I agreed, things still got pretty intimate (emotionally) really quickly.
We just clicked and were having a good time and are impulsive people.
Fast-forward to now, he has reignited speaking with her and while we have a great time together, I can feel hesitation on his end to get close to me. I ended things today and he agreed it would be for the best.
ALSO, we work together but are deciding to continue with our working relationship as it is salvageable right now and have decided that maybe in the future something can happen as there is something special between us.
Did I make the right decision? Should I have stuck it out?
TL;DR: | Guy I was dating has feelings for both his ex and I but I ended things anyway. Was this the right move? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Why don't I [19/F] like to kiss my [21/M] boyfriend of about a month? Please help.
POST: I've been seeing my current boyfriend for about 2 months, but we've only been dating for one. I really like him, he's a great guy... I just get so grossed out when he kisses me.
I don't really like the technique (too much tongue) but I just feel like it's more than that. I don't get that dizzying electric feeling like I've had with other guys.
I'm scared that this is going to come between us, and I've already tried to tell him that I would rather have him use less tongue. He told me that he was just teaching me a better way to kiss and that was that. (He's very considerate and thoughtful otherwise.)
TL;DR: | I get grossed out with kissing my boyfriend, I'm not entirely sure why. Any ideas to help me out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by quitting my job.
POST: Sadly this happened about a few weeks ago and not today.
But basically I had a steady job at a restaurant. Management was crappy and always pushed you to do more than you should and assumed that your life is only work. Realizing it was a dead end place I applied to many other places. Got two interviews out of that and one led to two more interviews along with meeting the team. I found that to be very promising and a sign that I will get the job. Next day I went to work and bam! quit my job right then and there believing I was a phone call away from the other.
It was clean leave, no fuss and issues about it. Next day, I received an email expressing thanks for the time but we will not be hiring you.
I was devastated and it kind of just went downhill from there. I work a decent courier job but it's not enough to pay for my things, and by March 14th, I'll be homeless
TL;DR: | Quit my job, had two interviews was not hired at either. Now my GF may leave me and I'll be homeless in a month. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: The finance manager [30s F] at my [26 F] company shared private information with me. How bad is this?
POST: I work at a fairly small company, around 20 employees. It's owned solely by our CEO and is a nice place to work.
The finance manager here is kinda ... gossipy. And bitchy, maybe. We're not close, not really friends. We sit on opposite ends of the office. She's ok, but we don't hang out outside of work. I'm not her closest friend at work, she has people she sits with and goes out for lunch with every day. So if she's said something to me, she's probably mentioned it to others.
Last week she ranted to me a bit about her salary. She told me she makes 45k GBP, which she doesn't think is enough. OK. I don't need to know this. Only she THEN tells me how much the CEO makes. She literally tells me the exact details of my bosses take-home pay. She also goes into details of another director's salary.
I am very, very uncomfortable. I've done some googling, and I think this could even be illegal (?). That could be wrong though.
Exactly how bad is this, and what will happen if I tell the CEO? Do I have to tell the CEO? I really don't want to get anyone fired or be called a troublemaker or gossip :(
Our owner is a really nice woman, she's always been very kind to all her employees. I work under her directly and get along with her well, but she's still my boss. I don't even know how to bring this up, or if I'm blowing it out of proportion completely.
TL;DR: | finance manager told me how much my boss makes. Suspect she's told others. Do I tell my boss? How to avoid looking like a troublemaker? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Made a decision to not accept organized religion, Parents are Conservative Christians, do I tell them? How?
POST: Gradually over the years I've come to the personal opinion that I don't agree with organized religion. I come from a relatively conservative Christian family. I always thought of my parents as non-judgmental, accepting people. Upon this realization, I was a little worried, but always kept it in the back of my head that they are sane, smart people, and would accept me no matter what.
The very night I was going to tell them, my grandmother, informed my parents that she had become an atheist. The way they talked about her almost made me sick. My mother talked about how she wasn't going to be saved, and my dad just sat silent with a look of disapproval. When they talk about her, they often make snide remarks about her decision. This, of course, made me shut up and not say anything about my own situation. Their behavior almost makes me ashamed. What should I do? Should I tell them? I realize my situation and atheism aren't the same thing, but it still worries me.
TL;DR: | (Sort of) I made a choice to not follow an organized religion, a recent relative changing their religious view caused my parents to react...almost crazily. Should I tell them? Or leave it be? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Need some advice on marriage, closing bank accounts and closing credit cards from college associated with that bank, as well as opening up new accounts and cards with fiance.
POST: A little background on my situation, I am 24 years old and just graduated from college with a degree in engineering. I have a job working for a firm that pays well and has good benefits. In addition, I am engaged to a woman who is going to graduate in another engineering field next fall. We plan to have a wedding in August of 2017. As for debt, I have about 38k in student loans she will have about 20k.
Banking and Credit Cards:
We currently have a joint checking and savings through US Bank and share all of our money (it is not that scary). We have one main credit card that is in my name and she is an authorized user. We tend to put any expenses on this one (1) card and pay it off every month (We have never carried a balance and do not plan to). This card has a limit of $9100 and we tend to put 2500 on it per month.
I have a bank account through a small local bank in my home town. This bank does not have any branches near me and can be difficult to add and take money out. I want to close this account along with a credit card that I had in college through them. This comes to my first question on will this credit card hurt my score and should i close it along with the account?
As for her she has a Victoria Secret Credit Card and an American Eagle Outfitters Credit Card. We use the Victoria Secret Card from time to time, but never the American Eagle Card ( We would like to cancel this Card).
Marriage:
For the most day to day items we share and pay for them with our own money. There are still a few items that her parents pay for such as (they own her college house, pay for her car, pay for her cell phone, but do not pay for her school). As of right now my parents may for my phone and insurance, but we are working on transferring those over so I may pay for them.
We want to go sign the papers and be legally married so we may get tax deduction ( I can claim her as a dependent) and we can apply for different student loan options.
TL;DR: | How to close credit cards and pro and cons of doing so? Is getting legally married a viable way to lower tax if my fiance is still in College and we pay for our expenses together? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm a filmmaker. My camera was stolen.
POST: Title says it all. The worst part is that I can't even blame anyone. I fucking wish that I was mugged at gunpoint, but nope, I accidentally left it outside my car driving home from work. I realized what I had done minutes later and booked it back, but it was gone. It was a Panasonic DVX100B, and I was seriously about to pull the trigger on selling it to upgrade to a Panasonic AG-HMC150. I feel immaculately stupid, and I'm trying my absolute best to put a stop to that and do only the right things from this point forward. I put in a police report minutes after, and today drove around to all the local pawn shops giving them the information so they could keep a lookout. One owner said he'd crack a skull for me if he found the right one. So at least I have that on my side.
The reason I'm making this post is to ask for any other advice on what to do. I want to make sure I do absolutely everything in my power. Not that I think it's likely I'll get it back, I know it's probably pretty futile, but I just want to know I did all that I could. So far I've filed the police report, gone to pawn shops, and posted on craigslist with the allure of a reward. Any other ideas?
TL;DR: | I lost my camera in the stupidest way possible, and now am seeking advice on how to handle this in the least stupid way possible. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dear Reddit, how old were you when you realized what you wanted to do with your life? What were the events that lead to this discovery?
POST: The year was 2008, I had just been kicked out by an ex girlfriends father (complicated story). I had some 500 dollars to my name and ended up using most of it to pay for a room at this really crappy motel for two weeks. I had no where else to go and would end up being homeless pretty soon.
During my boredom I decided to head down to the local library and get on line. Maybe browse a little, hey I might even look at this new fangled thing called 'Reddit'. Wasn't able to sadly, so instead I browsed the rather crappy collection of books they had there. There was a 'Electronics For Dummies' book that caught my eye, I grabbed it and started browsing through it.
I was immediately hooked. To my surprise, I was able to check out the book and then proceeded to read it in my shitty, little motel room. I devoured the entire thing in less then a couple of hours. The book was originally designed to be read over the course of a couple of days. The next day I went back to the library and was actually able to get online.
I browsed online for more information about electronics, electrical theory, electrical and computer engineering, you name it. The more and more I read, the more and more I realized that this is what I wanted to do with my life. I was 19 at the time
TL;DR: | I was basically homeless, bored, and depressed when I found a book in the local library about electronics for beginners, became hooked. Was 19 at the time |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Christmas gift question with me [21 M] and her [20 F]! Very very tiny question no need to upvote
POST: Ok! Well, I decided to do some special gifts for my girlfriend this year, some blu-rays, a blu-ray player, and an album she has been looking for for years.
Here's my dilemma, I don't know what order to have her open the gifts XD
If I were to organize them in terms of which is the "biggest/best" present, the big gift is this record she has been trying to find forever. I somehow managed to locate it after about 1,000 phone calls to I believe was every record store on the east coast.
Then probably the blu-ray player, her DVD player is dead, so I figured it was time for an upgrade.
Then 12 DVDs and Blu-Rays for the blu-ray player.
Should I start out big with the record? Or should I go with the dvds/blu rays first? Or if I give the blu-rays and dvds first does that does it give away I got her a blu-ray player?
Or I was thinking, maybe hiding the record, giving the blu-ray player and movies, then after she thinks it's all over... bam, super rare record.
Any thoughts would be much appreciated!
TL;DR: | Trying to figure out what order to give my girlfriend Christmas/Holiday presents. (Best gift) Rare Record, (2nd best) Blu-Ray player, (3rd best) 12 Blu-Rays/DVDs |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Have you ever lashed out, or acted out of character in public in a way that surprised you?
POST: I'm a very non-confrontational person and was taught growing up to have great manners and be respectful of others. When I was 19 I went with my boyfriend at the time to a movie that had been released a few weeks earlier. I went to the movie weeks after the release date in hopes that there wouldn't be many people in the theater so that I could get the seating I liked best. Sure enough there were only a few other couples in the theater and I got the perfect seating I wanted.
About 5 minutes after the movie started, two guys came in and sat in the seats right in front of me even though the whole theater was practically empty. I had my feet resting up on the back of the chair in front of me as one of the guys sat in it. He politely turned around and asked me if I would put my feet down. I snapped quicker than I could have ever imagined, raised my voice, and said that I wasn't going to move my goddamn feet and he would just have to deal with it. While still angered about the situation I started to calm down a few minutes later and was in utter shock that I reacted in that way instead of my usual non-confrontational self. I slowly put my feet down and watched the remainder of the movie confused by my own behavior.
TL;DR: | Raised my voice and acted like a child when asked to put my feet down off of a chair in a movie theater. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I (20f) am really starting to like a friend (36m).
POST: I've never been in a relationship before because I've never really been interested in casual dating. I'm in my second year of college, and I did research with a Prof with am assigned partner. He's 16 years older than me, which I don't see as a problem. in the beginning, he ignored me unless we were working together with the prof. now we have a class together (we sit together), we are in a club together, we do the same volunteer work outside of school, and we email, but it's always about one of the aforementioned activities. he seems interested, but I have the age old problem of not being able to distinguish between just being friendly or flirting.
We've never texted or hung out; but we see each other about 7 hours a week. he gets in my personal space and talks to me all the time, but I can't tell if I'm just blinded by wishful thinking. One friend said she thought he liked me, and I hadn't said anything to prompt the opinion.
basically, I think he might like me but his issues lie with the age difference. Do you have any advice for how to at least further our friendship without scaring him off?
TL;DR: | I like a classmate of mine who is 16 years older; how do I approach him without being too assertive and scaring him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (20F) with boyfriend (21M) of six months, I was going to break up with him, he just told me he purposefully broke something at work, how can I break up while remaining safe?
POST: First off, names, ages, and irrelevant details have been changed or left out because he is a redditor and I am scared of him finding this.
Important details:
We are medium distance (live about two hours apart). He has some possessions he borrowed from my family and I would like to get them back. He has not shown violent tendencies before this, but I haven't known him that long so I can't say for sure.
I was planning on breaking up with him in person this weekend for various innocuous reasons, the most important being that he frankly bores me to tears and is not worth the gas money. Sorry if that's harsh, it's just the truth. I wasn't gonna tell him this (obviously) but it's the most significant actual reason for breaking up.
However, he just informed me that he purposefully broke an expensive piece of equipment at work because, and I quote, "he was mad." I gathered from his tone and the context of the messages that he told me this because he thought it was funny. I am now worried about breaking up with him, I am not sure if it will be safe.
I need advice on whether or not I am *actually* in any danger (I could potentially be freaking out over nothing), and if I am, I need to know how to break up safely. Preferably I would like to retrieve the items he borrowed from my family. Thanks in advance!
TL;DR: | I was going to break up with my boyfriend this weekend, just found out he purposefully broke a piece of equipment at work, am I in danger and how do I break up safely? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [28/m] Am I getting friend-zoned by [24/f]? Pls save me
POST: I really don't want to lose this one, so help much appreciated.
- 3 dates in (over about 3 weeks) after only having met once previously
- Have made out on each one; done dinner; club dancing
- Hilarious snapchat fun when together -- she posts tons of vids of us together to her story for all her friends to see
- Been in healthy contact every day since day 1 via text/snapchat, but rarely talk on phone
- This girl is very cautious, extremely fearful about getting cheated on, also the type I'm thinking sex only once in relationship
- Ik she is dating other guys
- I make her laugh like crazy every day
- I'm struggling connecting with her on a deep emotional level and keeping spark
All sounds good, but on the 3rd date (most recent)...
- This was only about a 2 hour date w/ quick casual dinner
- She was reluctant to a real kiss at the end and kept it to a few quick pecks on the lips -- very different vibe from previous two dates where they were slower and passionate
- There wasn't much romantic spark as it felt more like two friends out than romance; we still touched each other a bit (nonsexual)
She did meet in her work clothes after shift, so maybe just didn't feel sexy? She stated on a couple occasions that she hope I didn't mind her work outfit... She was also really camera shy when I tried to capture her.
Anyways, I asked her out to a Friday night show and she enthusiastically responded with a yes!!! What doesn't sit well with me:
- She said she'd give me money for the ticket (hints friendship?)
- I have a feeling she's trying to duck out of dinner
- When I text her suggesting meeting at my place (like previously), she has dodged the question for over two hours now which REALLY doesn't sit well with me
- Today she referred to us as a "friendship" -- trying to test my reaction or trying to send a message?
TL;DR: | If a woman enthusiastically agrees to see a Friday night show with you after you've both already kissed and previously expressed romantic feelings for each other, how likely is it that you have still been friend-zoned? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23M] with my partner [24F] 1 month, didn't take her serious
POST: Hello, this morning my partner shared one of her insecurities with me. She was in the shower and asked me to do something (in a specific way). I didnt think much about it. Later she told me she doesnt like telling people what to do (it makes her feel insecure). Instead of getting it, I replied asking her then why she asks me/others to do something. Obviously she had meant she did not like feeling insecure after asking, rather than not wanting to ask for a favor/ giving an instruction.
Basically she felt ignored and didn't feel well about it all day at work. She came home a while ago and has left the house since then. She needs to be alone. I dont think she feels well.
What is an appropriate response? I feel like shit and I have no idea how to go about this.
TL;DR: | I (not knowingly) upset my girlfriend, its been bothering her subconsciously all day and now she's gone off to be alone. How to treat her and the situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I found out my girlfriend is cheating on me, what do I do next?
POST: Me and My SO have been going out full time for 6 months, having know each other for about 18 months. Today, while she was in the bathroom, her phone went off, the guy who messaged her was one of her friends that I knew through her, and he was a pretty cool guy so I decided to text back for her (as I thought it was just pleasantries) and my gf is known to take hours in the bathroom.
Anyway, I open up the text thread, and the exact wording of the text was "I gt some doms you cool if i pick you up tmrw? ;) xx". I scroll further up and its the same inane sexual innuendo and even my gf is saying stuff like this. (I managed to read 4 months worth of texts.
Now, my gf told me she's going to see a movie with her sister tomorrow, but I asked her sister and she said they (my gf and her mother) were going out.
Everything is just adding up, what do I do?
TL;DR: | Guy sends my gf a text implying their having sex tomorrow (as a recurring thing) and she's lied to me, what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ex (30/f) did not acknowledge my birthday even though we are talking again/flirting. What do I (27/f) do?
POST: I recently started talking to my ex again, about 2 weeks ago. We had been NC for about 2.5 months prior to that. We live in different cities.
Today was my birthday. He saw via my Snapchat stories everything I was doing for it -- multiple dinners, bars out, cake, etc. if you're not familiar with snapchat, you can see who is viewing your "story," aka pictures, videos, etc. depicting your day.
I talked to him YESTERDAY. Did not mention anything about my bday. He has been initiating contact the entire two weeks we've been talking.
He's been watching my stories ALL DAY LONG and hasn't said ONE WORD.
This feels incredibly/needlessly mean, as if he's purposely ignoring my birthday. It's very frustrating -- everything is going fine and then has to go and ruin it by doing something stupid.
I am supposed to see him in two weeks when he comes to my city for a business trip, but now I just feel icky, stupid, hurt...
Am I overreacting to this? How do I move forward (or not) from this? Am I missing something about the male psyche that says birthdays are totally unimportant? I don't want to cause YET ANOTHER fight when we were getting back on track.
TL;DR: | Ex, who I am in contact with again recently, failed to acknowledge my birthday. How do I react to this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Reddit I can't tell if I'm being needy, smothering this girl, or if I have a reason to be mad?
POST: 25[M] dating 25[F]
So I've been dating this girl for 4 months now and we do long distance (3 hours to be exact).
She is a super sweet girl and very loving and affectionate towards me...is a great girlfriend for the most part and is very loyal.
Well lately, like the past month, any time she goes out or goes out with her guy friends or what have you she will end up not texting me goodnight or that she made it home safely. I am not the boyfriend who wants to hear from her ALL night long but I am the boyfriend that needs to know shes home safe or at least staying at a friends house. hearing her say goodnight even if VIA text makes me happy and allows me to sleep easy. Multiple times now, about 4 or so, within the past month...mostly all when she goes out...she doesnt call or text me most of the night until later in the afternoon the next day or in the morning as soon as she wakes up. Usually consists of "Her friend stole her phone", "Phone dropped out of her purse at work and didnt realize till she got home"....I can't tell if I am being paranoid or what because I get super annoyed and mad when I have to sit around all night and the next day just to know she's ok? This is the ONLY thing I ever get mad at her for and idk.... shes teh same way if I dont text her while im out or what have you and she gets really annoyed if my phone dies while I'm out but I always text or call her as soon as I get home to let her know im home and safe.
Any suggestions on what to do and how to handle this so I dont seem smothering, jealous...etc?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend goes out and an excuse ensues as to why she didn't text me goodnight or that she's home safe and I get mad over it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18/M] am not sure how to feel about my girlfriends [21/F] sexual fantasy.
POST: Now, her and I have only been together for about 5 months, but we've gotten extremely close. I do have some insecurity issues that I'm working on and I trust her. Although last night she said something that really bothered me. We got on the topic of sexual kinks and fetishes and it has always been hers to sleep with a married man. Because in her eyes she grew up with sex being very taboo and she loves the forbidden rush sleeping with an older guy (40's) would give her. Is this common amongst women, or is this a red flag I should be weary of? I'll be here to answer any questions but would love some input on the subject. Thanks a lot guys!
TL;DR: | Older girlfriend has sexual fantasy of being with an older married man. This makes me feel inadequate, or that she'd actually cheat given the chance. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17M] don't feel wanted by my girlfriend [17F]
POST: Okay, so about 2 months ago I met this really nice girl and after about a month of hanging out together we kissed and have been together since.
She is my first "actual" girlfriend, and I'm very happy to be with her and enjoy spending my time with her.
Before I continue I should say that both of us are virgins (but she doesn't know I am) and I'm her first boyfriend as well
About a week after we first kissed we were at my house and we started kissing (this was our first time really going at it) I touched her tits (her skin is SUPER sensitive) and was making my way down there when she politely asked me to stop, I obliged
She explained to me that she felt embarrassed, she later told me that she wouldn't go beyond third base as she doesn't feel ready yet, alright.
She also told me that she didn't enjoy kissing (me), this hurt me a bit, and made me feel unwanted.
After that event whenever I see her I just kiss her when saying hi and bye.
She sometimes gets closer to kiss me but now I never go in for it first, it feels good when she gets closer, but she is more of a submissive person and she's constantly apologizing for not showing much affection.
I guess my fear of being rejected + the fact that she told me she doesn't like kissing (and that she only told me afterwards) make me afraid of getting more intimate with her
So now I don't know how to feel about us, a small part of me thinks she just wants a boyfriend so she can say she has one. I still think she's super nice and I really like her but, eeh I don't know. I don't want to sound like an asshole, but I think sex is important in a relationship.... maybe it's just because I'm a horny teen, maybe I just rushed in like a crazy mofo, I'm new to this, but I don't want to go on like this and don't know what to do without hurting her feelings
TL;DR: | my gf doesn't like getting too intimate with me and it's making me feel unwanted, what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: My [M17] GF [F17] never asks me to hang out
POST: I posted this in /r/relationship_advice but didn't get much feedback so I'm guessing this is a more appropriate sub for this kind of thing.
Alright this may just be a minor issue, but I'm not sure and it's pretty frustrating. I've been dating her for just over 4 months and overall things are going really well. However over the past couple of weeks I've realized that I'm always the one asking her to hang out and go on dates places. We hang out 1-2 times per week and out of the ~30 we've been together she's asked to hang out twice.
She always says yes - in fact, she hasn't even once asked to do something other than what I've suggested. She's been away a lot the past couple of weeks, and says things like "I miss you so much it hurts" "I wish you were here" "I have so many stories to tell you" etc., so it's pretty confusing as to why she just doesn't ask to hang out.
Like last night at 10:15 we were texting and she jokingly asked if I wanted to come over; we joked about me sneaking out and stuff like that and then I said "yeah I dont think tonight will work..I do want to come over though" And still nothing. Changed topic and then she went to bed around 11.. She probably expected me to ask her but it's frustrating because I feel like if she was actually interested she'd start asking once in a while.
Oh, another thing that's semi-related: Whenever she comes to my house, she's consistently an hour+ late. No excuses or anything - for example if I ask her to come over at 5 she'll text me at 5:30 saying she's starting to walk over....However that's the only time she's late; whenever we go out somewhere she's on time, and when I go over to her house she's always there/ready to hang out.
I just want to know if this is anything to worry about and what I should do about it. Thanks.
TL;DR: | gf never asks me to hang out, i always have to ask, she always says yes, whenever she comes to my house shes late |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [33 M] with my wife [33 F] of seven years. I'm not making her feel loved or wanted.
POST: I'm married to a beautiful, caring and intelligent woman. Apparently, I don't let her know that I am.
Last night she told me two things. The first being that I don't tell her that I desire her, nor do I show it. She finishes off by saying that if I'm not attracted, I should grow some balls and just say it.
The second thing she pointed out is that I never do anything just to make her happy (like bringing flowers), so the only thing she can be happy about is the fact that I do some mediocre cleaning.
I grew up with parents that never showed any kind of affection for each other. Unsurprisingly to me and my sister, my parents left each other when we moved out. Because of this I have no idea on how to give her what she's asking for.
I can buy her flowers, but buying her stuff she mentioned herself seems half hearted.
Basically, I have no idea on how to improve the situation. I don't know what to say or do or when to do so.
I could use some advice on how to show my appreciation of my wife.
TL;DR: | my wife doesn't feel loved or desired, what can I say or do on a daily basis to tell her otherwise? |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: My upcoming shower is overwhelming me. How to proceed?
POST: My mom, future MIL, and bridesmaids are planning me a bridal shower. I'm so grateful for everything they are doing, but it has quickly become something I never would have planned for myself (if planning your own shower wasn't such a huge etiquette breach!)
Originally, I didn't want a shower at all, but everyone insisted that they wanted to throw me one, and that it would be easier to get gifts ahead of time than haul them all home from our reception venue. Okay, that's fine. I won't disagree that it's awesome to get presents, of course, and my MOH and future sisters in particular are so excited to plan all this for me! :)
I asked my MIL if we could have a Jack and Jill shower (that is, both men and women are invited) and she immediately shot that down. PUTTING ASIDE non-binary genders, dated sexist beliefs, etc, I know that shower guests are typically mostly your aunts, grandma, etc. But I wanted my fiance to be there with me, and maybe some of his groomsmen to liven up the party. That's out too.
So now I'm having this all-girls bridal shower, just for me (my fiance's name wasn't even on the invitations) and I don't know how to interact with everyone - there's going to be so many people there I've never met. MIL added a few dozen people to our guest list and those ladies are coming! Plus some of our registry items were specifically added by my fiance. Am I supposed to say "oh he was so hoping to get this! I wish he was here to see it but I wasn't allowed to have anyone who identifies as male at my shower!" ***Obviously I wouldn't actually say that...
TL;DR: | My upcoming shower is huge and completely different from what I would have originally wanted. Is me sitting there alone and opening OUR presents the norm? How do I thank my fiance's second grade teacher for coming without seeming gift-grabby? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my best friend [22 M] of 4 years, I'm gay and have a crush on him. Do I need a break from him to move on, or am I over reacting?
POST: I met him 4 years ago, we got along great, like all the same things, and he was finally someone I can be myself and do everything I like with. I haven't really met a best friend before, just a few people I can do some things with.
But then I started to crush on him and have had feelings for him since.
I don't ever act on it or act creepy. I just act like a really good friend.
I just get scared I don't know where my really good friend gestures end and trying to make him my boyfriend begin and get scared its getting all mixed up.
But then I think maybe I'm over reacting and paranoid.
My feelings have stayed the same and aren't getting worse, I just get more paranoid.
I want to say I see him as a brother, that's why I care so much, but I don't know if I can trust that.
If I think about it I know I could do better and find someone that will be better for me in a relationship and I'm just taking my energy out on the guy I see the most.
I do feel like we'd be more useful and meaningful to each other as best friends in the long run.
But that doesn't matter because the truth is it will never work because he will never like me that way. Hopefully my brain learns this.
I get paranoid lately that I need to leave him behind. I don't want to. But other Redditer's and the paranoid part of me thinks I do.
What do you think?
TL;DR: | I have feelings for my best friend but he's not gay, I'm scared the truth is I need to leave him behind, by not sure. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend [21/F] refusing to communicate her problems.
POST: We've been together for about 1/2 year. She has a rare heart condition, arrhythmia, which prevents her from exercising too hard despite being on a track team. So I try not to put any more stress on her, but this mysterious problem is.
Recently, I [21/M] noticed something has been troubling my girlfriend alot and it has been affecting her usual lifestyle. She keeps telling me that everything's okay, which obviously isn't. For instance, she isn't sleeping well and has developed faint dark circles under her eyes. Although still the most gorgeous girl in my life :) I already told her I'm willing to listen if there are any problems, but I didn't press the issue.
Yesterday, I went to her apartment to check up on her, and seen that she was clearly crying before I got there. I had to ask, I just had to confront her about it.
Here's what happened when I tried:
Me: "Listen, I know that you've kind of had a rough time lately. And I want to help you out, but I can't do anything if you won't talk to me about it."
Her: "Sweetheart I told you, I'm fine."
Me: "No you aren't. It's obvious something's been eating at you. You can tell me."
Her: "Why is me saying 'I'm fine' not good enough? You're concerned, I get that. That's cool. But I'm fine, and it's nothing that you need to worry about."
That reply caught me off guard and I didn't know what to say. I feel like it's the boyfriend's responsibility to know the well-being of his girlfriend. What you guys think I should've said after that without coming off as a controlling boyfriend who wants her to spill out every secret? She's the first person I've truly cared about on a deeper level. It's been hard to do so.
TL;DR: | girlfriend not talking about her problems with me. Always reassures me that's it's okay, despite being not the case. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Computer Science Degree?
POST: So, I like computers(programming, data manipulation, multimedia, repair, etc.) , I like numbers, and I like to argue. Third year college student deciding to switch from PreMed Biology.
Option A: Accounting degree on to Law School for Corporate Law.
Pros: Job security, pay, and "prestige" (whatever the f*** that is), OR just do litigation and open private office.
Cons: Stay in school until I am 27-28, very stressful, LONG hours. Basically why I am staying away from Pre-Med with less bodily fluids involved.
Option B: Computer Science BS and then Masters.
Pros: Majority of career paths more relaxing than Option A, I really enjoy computers, and pay possibly?
Cons: All the bullsh!t I am hearing about how useless and obsolete you become.
Basically I am wondering if a Computer Science Degree is "worth it?" I mean I keep hearing about all this outsourcing yadda yadda and age discrimination... basically not being able to keep a steady job nor one past the age of 45. I would love just to write code, do information security or just solve problems all day, maybe even 3D rendering or animation (I am one of those "if its creative (music, art, etc.) I can do it" kind of people). I don't mind keeping up with certificated or learning something new every day.. I mean that is just technology in general. But I would like to have a decent enough salary to start a family one day and not be up to my eyeballs in debt.
TL;DR: | Is a computer science degree worth it in that the pay is decent and the jobs semi-stable? Are all the rumors about the industry being destroyed by outsourcing and age discrimination true? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [31 F] Mother [64 F] talks incessantly during movies and TV shows. I get irrationally angry by this and then yell at her which makes both of us sad. What can I do?
POST: She just won't shut up.
It can be a movie or show we have never seen before, or one that I've seen before, or one that she has seen before.
Example of movie neither of us has seen before:
Her: "Who's that guy? Why did that guy say that? What does that mean???!"
Me: "I don't know. I've never seen this before, either. I think they are trying to create some suspense because we don't know, let's just let the story unfold."
Her: "What did that guy say when I said 'who's that guy?' Why did that lady say that to him? Who's that?"
Me: "SHHHHHH!!!!! You're ruining the movie for everyone!!! Just shut up, already!"
Of course, it's even worse if she has seen the movie before and you haven't. Then it's a continual dialogue of "You won't believe what's going to happen next! Can you guess? I can tell you! Here's what's about to happen."
Is there anyway to stop this? For the most part, I have just very rarely watched anything with her for the last 15 years and when I have I have made sure it was nothing that I did not mind being ruined.
TL;DR: | My mom refuses to be quiet during movies and it destroys my ability to enjoy watching movies with her. I then yell at her and we all feel bad. |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: I need some advice on our cat. We just rescued him, already sick, worried he will never like us again.
POST: So we rescued a cat on Monday, shelter says he is in great health. He moves in, first day is great, a sneeze here and there though. Second day the sneezes are terrible, and that night he breathes with his mouth open. We took him to the vet this morning and found he has an upper respiratory infection, and worms. We got a perscription to give him, pills.
Tonight we gave him his second dose of the meds, it was very difficult and both my fiance and I were scratched up pretty bad. Now he hides from us, backs away from our attempts to pet him. My fiance is in tears thinking about how he will be afraid of us for good now.
TL;DR: | We rescued a cat who turned out to be sick, giving him meds has made him hate us. We are worried that we are making too bad of a first impression and he will never be ok around us. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: I brought bedbugs home from a hotel while on vacation in California, I live in Idaho. Do I have any legal leg to stand on to get reimbursed for expenses?
POST: I stayed in a motel in California last week and while we were there I noticed a few bites on my kids, but didn't think anything of it and assumed it was just a reaction to the humidity. I've gotten back home and my kids (2 & 4) have numerous bites all over them and are miserable. I don't yet know if I have infested my home but I've checked into a hotel ($101/night) for the next three days to spray and clean everything we brought back with us from the vacation. My wife is visibly freaked out and doesn't even sleep well anymore since she hates bugs and is constantly checking herself over in the mirror to make sure she isn't covered in bugs. This experience in awful and I believe the hotel should have to pay for their negligence in cleaning to at least pay for the costs of my temporary housing and having professional extermination if it comes down to it. (Bedbug sniffing dog inspection is ~$200, treatment is $800+). I do have ARAG legal insurance through my employeer that should help but I don't know where to even start building a case on a Saturday (my only day off from work).
What are the next steps I can take before I contact a lawyer on Monday?
TL;DR: | Got bed bugs on vacation, kids are bit to hell and back and wife is freaked out about creepy crawlies and can't sleep. I want the hotel to pay for their negligence. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By Playing Hide and Seek.
POST: My FU starts about a week ago. I was babysitting my sister-in-laws kids with my wife. They are a boy and girl, ages 2 and 5 respectively. Shortly before bed time they asked if I could play hide and seek with them. This is kind of a tradition with us and we do it every time we watch them, they enjoy it because I make it really easy for them. Having my feet stick out from under a blanket for example.
Anyway I chose to hide in the bathroom right behind the door. It was my nephews turn to find everyone. He had found everyone else already and I could hear him getting closer to my hiding spot. And this is where my FU happens. I get the brilliant idea to say boo right when he comes around the door. He sticks his head around the door and we make eye contact. I yell the loudest boo I ever had he screams and then starts giggling that giggle little kids do when they've just seen the funniest thing ever. Alls good right? Nope.
Fast forward about a week and I get a call from my sister in law asking me why her two year old, who she has been struggling with potty training for a while now, is suddenly afraid of bathrooms. I tell her what happened and that I thought everything was okay. She starts yelling at me about being irresponsible etc. etc. Then she calls my wife and chews her out. Now my wife is mad because of my poor judgement. Im hoping everything will be ok but I think I should just lay low from that side of the family for a while.
TL;DR: | I played hide and seek with a two year old and may have ruined all the potty training my Sister-in-law has done. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[M22] ex girl friend[F21] and I broke up after 4 years. Not sure what to do with social events and mutual friends
POST: So some background info. This is my first relationship and we were going out for 4 years before breaking up. We met in college in a small program and over the years have made several mutual friends, that are in the same program as the both of us.
Now from reading up on r/relationships I know the first thing to do is cut all contact. But how do I go about doing this when it's likely that I will be seeing her at parties and other events. Should I just not go to events where I think she'll be? Most if not all our friends are good mutual friends so this is a tough situation for me.
Other than this what should I be doing? Currently I'm just sitting around at home, watching Netflix or hanging out with friends once in a while. I'm not sure how to get over this break up, as i feel like i won't find someone like her again. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks everyone.
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TL;DR: | Broke up with my first and only girlfriend of 4 years. What to do with social events where ex will be. Most friends are mutual. Need advice on breakups in general<\b> |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (28M) girlfriend (26F) just broke up with me a week ago, and I want her back.
POST: My girlfriend broke up with me this weekend because of an argument we had after we went out with her friends. I totally understand why we broke up.
Some back story: she was my best friend and we were together for almost 6 years. The first few years was a dream come true. We were both really happy with each other and comfortable with each other. We've been arguing A LOT the last couple of years and it was always because I started it. She's not a very affectionate person and I get so insecure when she hangs out with her friends and don't pay attention to me. Finally this past weekend she told me she can't handle it anymore and she needs to be away from me. She can't be with someone who is fueled by bitterness, jealousy, and negativity. I love her and to be honest she'll be happier without me in her life right now. But I need her. I know I can change back to be the person I was before all the insecurity, the person she fell in love with before. After the break up, we agreed to stay as friends and we can revisit our life in a few months to see if we really need each, and if we do we can get back together. I don't want to wait a few months. We are going to go dinner tomorrow and I plan to just be her friend and not pressure her to get back together. Be the positive person I used to be for her and just hope she'll fall in love with me again. Some of my friends think it's the dumbest idea ever for my goal to be to get her back and we broke up for a reason. What should I do?
TL;DR: | girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me because I am a horrible person. I don't know what to do and I want to win her back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: BFF [F/18] giving weird signals to me [M/19] Don't know what to do
POST: I know I [M/19] posted here a few days ago about hurting my best friend [F/18] by saying something stupid and didn't mean. [Link to post] and its a little soon to post again. But things are a little confusing, well even more, and would like some input.
After the post toward the end of the day she sent me a snap and we talked for awhile and things seemed fine, but the next day she acted strange and distance. The following day seemed fine talked for an hour, but again at the end of the day started being distant and weird again.Today when I messaged her we talked kinda. We got 7 texts in and she started yelling at me and telling me to go and leave her alone.
I didn't do anything to make her angry while we were talking that I know of just being friendly and talked like we use to. She's definitely still upset with me and I was gonna give her space but she came to me to talk. If she wasn't ready to talk to me then why message me? She goes back and forth between hating me and things getting better.
I do try and talk it out but after talking about it for a little and making some sort of progress she just's ignores me for the rest of the day every time, then the cyclical of what I wrote happens again.
What I would like to know and asking is what does she want from me? One minute I think she's starting to forgive me then the next she tells me to leave. This is very confusing and misleading
TL;DR: | BFF still mad, juggles back and forth from trying to work things out and getting better to hating me again and wanted me to go away. Any insight or something would be great |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23F] somehow, even after years pass, end up reconnecting with my ex [24M]. We're just really bad at being friends.
POST: We dated on and off in high school and college, even did a year of long distance we he joined the Navy. Its been two years since we broke up and in attempts to test the "friendship waters" I inadvertently stirred up a lot of emotions within him.
I feel naive, for even trying, but it seemed ok at first. Short and amicable. About a month or so later though, it kind of blew up. Its not just emotions about our past, but a lot of anxiety about his job. He doesn't have any support systems and is under a tremendous amount of pressure. Like I said, I feel naive for taking that first step in communicating... I feel like I am not the right person to be there for him.
I worry a lot about the alternative though: him continuing these really unhealthy social and emotional behaviors. If I cut ties (again), not only will he feel rejected yet again but he will also be left with no outlet for the intense struggles he has.
TL;DR: | How do I remove myself from my ex's life when I care about his well being and I know he doesn't have anyone else to share his struggles with? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] Introduced my BF [25M] to my Lesbian BFF. Now they talk a lot.
POST: My boyfriend is in the army and stationed about 4 1/2 hours away from my location. I have a great friend who is gay. She wants to start working out, and my bf is a huge fitness buff, so I asked if he could help her out. They exchanged numbers, are on each others instagram, and snapchat as well.
Today, my friend kept talking about him and how great he is. She then was going to show me something on her phone, and her snapchat was on and I saw his name a few times.
No biggie I guess, I don't want to make a big deal over something like snapchat. I don't want to be childish. He told me last night he couldn't really talk on the phone since his battery was dying. Today, my friend said he sent her pics of him and his cats last night. I feel confused about this. I don't know how to bring it up since I want to be happy that my boyfriend and best friend are getting along. It should be a good sign since they both seem to care about me.
But I feel really conflicted about this. They seem to have a lot of things in common, and I feel they're talking to each other a lot more than fitness things.
TL;DR: | My Boyfriend and Best friend who is a lesbian are now friends and seem to be getting real close. I don't know how to feel about this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Took Adderall for the first time today as someone with "controllable" ADD, and it had amazing effects. ADD/ADHD'ers of reddit, what are normal vs. medicated days like for you?
POST: I'll start off by saying that "controllable" ADD is probably not a real thing. If I went to a doctor I may not be diagnosed, but honestly I've never considered doing it because even though I have many of the symptoms (distracted easily, jump from task to task frequently, trouble focusing all the time), it's definitely a mild case, and I've gotten by in school and work so far. It's more of a frustration than anything else, but since it's mild and if I try hard I can focus, it's not worth adding to the statistics of an already over-diagnosed disorder.
But I tried one of my friend's Adderall's this morning at work, and after the initial paranoia of what's going to happen after trying a new drug, I had 6 of the most efficient hours of work I can remember. It was unbelievable the focus and drive I had to complete task after task, all while happily ignoring my personal email account, text messages, and my usual distractions.
What got me thinking was that I only took a third to half of my friend's pill, so I'm wondering what is it like for those of who have a strong case of ADD/ADHD? Does medication bring you to full focus like I experienced, or is it more controllable distractions? What are the days off the medication like? Do you ever avoid taking your meds because it feels like you're not being *you*?
TL;DR: | Mild case of ADD and Adderall made my day crazy efficient. How do meds actually affect people with a strong case of ADD? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: To the customer who walked in only to ask for directions
POST: Oh you don't know your way around town? How about use GPS on your fucking smartphone? Even better, get your directions before driving. You interrupt a busy service from afar, speaking over the ambient noise of the store and make misleading hand gestures pointing to our menu, causing me to construe your inquiry as one about mixing a drink "three ways". I tell you that it's possible, and ask which three. You fucking ignore me, turn away from me with a face that screams "Forget it, this fucking idiot can't answer my question", and walk out of the store.
MAYBE I could have answered your question if you forgave my mistaken listening, came closer and asked me again that you wanted to know about freeways. Asshole.
TL;DR: | Service was busy, the context made me misinterpret customer's question about freeways as "three ways", to which I assumed he was asking if he could mix three flavors. He rudely blows me off. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit - I KNOW this question gets asked A LOT, but how do you actually make friends without blindly surrounding yourself with people? In other words, how do you engage?
POST: Often I see questions like this submitted and the general consensus is to go to clubs, take a class, just basically surround yourself with people.
I feel like I can do that, and I can talk to people and stuff, but I can never seem to get to that 'friendship' level. I mean a lot of the people I've met in these things would definitely say hello to me if they saw me at the mall or on the street, but it's more like a "yeah that's Brad from so-and-so" rather than an actual friend.
So let's say YOU join a club and you're basically an outsider. After the hello's and seeing them a few times how do you go further without coming across as creepy? I mean inviting someone for lunch or something just sounds really weird to me, some might think you're trying to date them. And it's not like I could invite some people to 'hang out with my friends', because I really don't have any.
What would you do? What do you suggest?
TL;DR: | How do you make friends in clubs/classes and not just the 'hi/hello' type, but an actual friendship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [19M] What kind of relationship should I approach with her?
POST: I've met this girl, she's cute sweet smart and into a whole bunch of the same things that I am. But our social circles are so interlocked, we have way too many classes together, time for a full relationship will be limited, and to be frank I'm an asshole/liar/acused of being a sociopath.
I care about this girl, something that doesn't happen often, and I don't want to hurt her in anyway. Unfortunately the idea of a girl I like this much being attracted to me is something I can't just let die. I don't know whether I should
a) Ask her out and try my best not to never hurt her.
b) Attempt a friends with benefits/ sexual relationship with her
c) Drop it and stay friends where I can cause the least amount of damage.
If I choose "A" should I adress my issues honestly with her if things ever get serious?
If I choose "B" how can I approach this without a douche baggy "ey bby u want sum fuk".
If I choose "C" should I just cut out any flirting or... How do I friendzone her?
TL;DR: | I don't know whether I should date, fwb, or just be friends with this girl because I tend to hurt people. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (24F) sister (30F) scolded me for not visiting my mother (50sF) on her birthday even though she told me not to
POST: It might be worth reading my post from last week. I can't link it because I'm on mobile.
I've been incredibly busy just recently. I've just finished an intense 1 year nursing course and it's been back to back for months. My last few assignments were in this week so I took last week of work and just worked from 9am to 1am pretty much every day.
It was my mothers birthday on Sunday and I phoned her on the Friday before. I told her I was hoping to visit on the Sunday, but I was massively drowning in work that had to be in Monday at 8am, so I wasn't sure when or for how long or if at all. She said this wasn't a problem at all, and to leave it until the week if I was so busy. Great.
Since the weather was nice she decided (on the Saturday) to have a bbq on her birthday (Sunday) and invited my sister and BIL and kids over, plus her sister and husband and kids. I was still drowning in work on the Sunday, and since she had so many other people over and therefore just visiting for 15 minutes seemed impossible, I rang her and told her I wouldn't be able to make it. Again, she was fine and said to visit in the week.
Yesterday I spoke to my sister who told me how upset and disappointed my mother is for me not visiting. My sister couldn't understand why 15 minutes would ruin my plan for the day (15 minutes would be more like an hour and there's travel and everything else). I made the point that if she really wanted me there she could have said at any point. She told me not to come if I was busy and so I didn't. How am I supposed to know it would make her upset when she told me to do it?!
I don't know whether to bring this up with my mother or just let it blow over?
It's made me feel awful that I've upset her but I believed I was doing as she wanted.
Any advice?
TL;DR: | sister said mother was upset that I'd didn't visit for her birthday. I was incredibly busy and she told me to just visit in the week when I'd finished everything. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [21 M] I don't know how to feel or go about my friendship with this woman [23 F]
POST: We met through the internet, it took a while but we finally met.
Thing is, she already has a boyfriend. I'm fine with that I think. I just wanted a pretty friend who liked me for my personality.
Right now I'm just friends with her. I'm not exactly in love with her. I never touched her sexually or anything. I sort of desire it, but I blame my heterosexuality for that. She is a cute girl.
I guess its weird. Because the first time we met, we met behind her boyfriend's back. So being sneaky in a way.
So that is a big issue in our friendship. HOWEVER, I want her to be happy and I hope she is happy with her relationship. I'm not out to destroy it or anything. I'm just her friend.
Am I doing anything wrong? Is there anything wrong with me being friends with a woman who already has a boyfriend? It's not like I'm kissing her or anything. The most I've given her was just a simple hug.
I don't know, I just feel kind of weird about all of this. And I don't know why. I mean, it would be nice she could come over to my house and hang out and maybe paint with me. But her boyfriend might not allow that, and she might want to sneak out. And it just becomes messy..
I just want to be a good guy about this. I don't want to hurt anyone.
TL;DR: | Trying to be friends with a girl who already has a boyfriend and I feel funky and don't know if I'm doing something bad |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my ex [20 F], who I dated for 7 years, broke up with me 2 months and I'm struggling.
POST: My partner dumped me close to 2 months ago because she 'wasn't sure about us' anymore. We resolved to remain friends but have subsequently gone no contact. It wasn't entirely unexpected, she had been distant for a month prior and I think she was just waiting for our exams to be over.
I never expected to get over her quickly but so far everything has been a lot harder than I expected. I feel worse now than I did initially. It's Christmas today and I can't feel happy. I started crying at lunch with my family. I constantly find myself thinking about her and what we had. Anytime I do anything that is remotely enjoyable my mind just reverts back to thinking about her.
We were each others best friends for so long I'm feeling abandoned now that she's gone. The fact that neither of us screwed the relationship up and that she made a conscious choice to leave me hurts the most I think. If you looked at her FB profile now it would seem like I never existed and that we didn't share our lives for the last 7 years.
I found myself stalking her on social media and have no unfollowed her on FB, deleted her texts and her number. I really want to start feeling like I'm moving on from this relationship but I can't. I know I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't love me but my rational thoughts are having no effect on my emotions.
TL;DR: | My GF of 7 years broke up with me. I can't move on despite wanting to. I need help/advice on moving on. How long can I expect to feel like this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I met an attractive girl at a party, hooked up with her, and got her number, but I was blackout drunk, and barely remember anything past 9pm. What do I say now?
POST: Sad facts:
-As far as I can remember, she was sober.
-I was drunk.
-It took me at least fifteen minutes to remember her name the next morning.
-She goes to a big University in my city, while I go to a small college and was just there to party.
-I was REALLY drunk.
Pretty much, I can't comprehend how I got a (what I remember as) hot girl's number in that state, let alone a SOBER hot girl's number. For some background, I 'get' an acceptable amount of ladies (I have a healthy sex life for a first year Uni. student), I'm not desparate, but I seem to think she was smart/fun, which for me is -in combination with good looks- the most attractive trait of a woman. She texted me hello right after I gave her my number, and I decided it was best not to reply in that state. I have definitely taken a number and never texted it before, but I feel I have to. Now, I am putting my faith in Reddit, all of which I know are professionals in this field. (Source: I have been lurking. Thanks to Reddit, I know now that everyone on the internet is a professional, and that they are always telling the truth.)
TL;DR: | I'm not a loser, but I feel like I should text this lady, despite the fact I was blackout drunk. What do I say? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[22 M] need some help and advice regarding my 4 year long relationship with my ex [22F] .
POST: A little background story . I was in a relationship with my ex for about 4 and a half years and its been about a year since we broke up . We used to go to the same college and are in the same class . We've had a break from college for about a year and we did finally call it quits when we had to take the break . (this was August 2014)
While we were dating I never did prove to be what you'd call a good boyfriend. So our relationship was pretty on-off . So in the month of December 2014 she started talking to her ex again and I didn't like that much . I told her she should try and not meet him in private but I wasn't very firm about it since i did trust her alot and i knew she'd never do something that would disappoint me . Well , that cost me . She did cheat on me with her ex twice while we were dating and now she's currently dating that guy .
The main problem here is that i don't really feel like its all her fault . Part of the reason she did cheat was probably because i didn't live up to her expectation of a good boyfriend.
After this saga with her , I've had some serious trust issue with other people . I can safely say I didn't trust anyone more than her and now i cant trust anyone at all . Its eating me inside for really long and I really don't have to many close friends who i can share any of this with ..
I really would love for anyone who has felt the same to give me some advice . College starts again in July and i dont know what having to see her face daily will do to me.. Need some help ..Thanks in advance .
TL;DR: | EX cheated on me 1 year ago with her ex . Destroyed my trust in people . Need help with the trust issue and some closure . (Will be studying with her for one more year starting July) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [17M] with a [16F]. In a 21 month long relationship. Need help with breaking up
POST: I've been dating this girl for about 1 year and 9 months. For about a year now i've been thinking about breaking up. And I've never pulled the trigger completely.
I broke up with her once, but then she started crying, being a sensitive guy, it tore me up to see it and we got back together. Ever since then I wish I would've stuck with my decision. It's been about 7 months since then, and its been bugging me.
I don't know how to pull the trigger.. I still do love her very much, we were each others first for sex. And this is the first long relationship for the both of us. but we have some key differences between us. And I know that I don't want to put a ring on her in the future. And I'm afraid if we stay together, she could get pregnant, and that's the last thing I want. I want to end it so that I can be single while in high school..
TL;DR: | I need advice on ending it.. I know I'm still young, and its just high school.. But I really don't know how to do it. :/ |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by procrastinating on my coursework for the last 7 months
POST: Going to keep certain detail vague because I'm pretty sure my supervisor reddits.
I'm a student in the UK completing my last year in sixth form. I'm doing an EPQ in sociology (an epq is kind of like a mini dissertation; mine is a 6000 word report, although it can be other things too).
As the title says I have been doing the bare minimum (aka practically nothing) for the past 7 months. I can't/don't want to handle stress so I just didn't do my work. *"Oh I'll do it later, it'll be fine I'll switch them out, he wont even notice".*
Noope.
I never got round to doing, well anything. Obviously I had to show my supervisor ~something~ so I falsified all my research. I made up interviews and made fake graph results all whilst promising myself I'll get round to it. Well I didn't and everything is due in in less than 12 hours and I'm fucking screwed. I've only written 1000 words.
Oh yeah, and my computer wont let me open word documents so there goes any misguided hopes of finishing in time.
TL;DR: | too lazy to do my work on time, now I have to conjure 5000 words of detailed analysis out of my ass. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by getting to high and ignoring the face that I had to pee.
POST: My best friend is home for the first time in four months (she lives two hours away) so we decided to get super high. I get the sensation that I have to pee. I ignore it both because I am ridiculously high and my friend is telling a story....finally I get up to go to the bathroom, walk up the stairs and it happens....The flood gates open and the golden river flows...FUCK! Fast forward a few minutes and I am in the bathroom wondering how I am going to change clothes without my husband or best friend wondering what the fuck I am doing. Thankfully my husband had a pair of pajama pants laying on the sink in the bathroom. I put those on and casually walk back to the basement hoping again, they won't notice....But they did and now they won't stop laughing.... Oh well lol.
TL;DR: | got high and ignored the fact had to pee and pissed myself; tried to cover it up but they figured it out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is something that you've done to make someone proud, but still ended up a disappointment to them?
POST: Granted I'm still very proud of myself and that's what matters but, I've been working really hard in college. I'm graduating on time, with 2 degrees (Entomology and Chemistry), and with distinction. I'm going to grad school for a masters in Entomology then further to a PhD. I told my grandma about this and she told me that I'm going amount to nothing...she wants me to be a medical doctor even though I told her how happy I am in Entomology. I want to make her proud but she is still disappointed in me. Has anyone else had a similar experience?
TL;DR: | I'm working my ass of in college and my despite my happiness and success in my degree, my grandma is still disappointed because I'm not becoming a doctor. Similar stories anyone? |