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52,700 | doctorflash | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1uctzw/my_dad_talking_about_our_cruise_to_alaska/ | My dad talking about our cruise to Alaska My mom suggested that we do a five night cruise, so of course my dad responded, "I'm on board!" | 6 | 2014-01-04 01:08:42 | 0.574393 | -0.107229 | 1,842 | 7,396 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,701 | slidewriter | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1uctu9/dad_just_sent_me_this_i_buried_my_face_in_my_hands/ | Dad just sent me this. I buried my face in my hands. Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car. MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck." | 47 | 2014-01-04 01:06:40 | 0.223347 | 0.443817 | 2,983 | 11,854 | 133 | 133 | Bird Puns and Jokes | false |
52,702 | [deleted] | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1ucngr/dad_and_brothers_got_me_last_night_at_dinner/ | Dad and brothers got me last night at dinner. I had dinner with my parents and brothers (who are also both dads) last night and let it slip to my older brother that I was going to meet a girl later that night. It went something like this:Dad: "You didn't have to get all dressed up just to come see me."Older Brother (OB): "No, IWasUpAllNight has a blind date tonight."Dad: "Well you didn't need to get dressed up for a blind girl either! Harharhar!"Younger Brother (YB): "At least shes not deaf!"OB: *extends handshake to YB* "Hi, I'm IWasUpAllNight."YB: "IIIEETOOO MEEEUOOO" (his best deaf girl impression)Hilarity ensues and the rest of the night is spent with Helen Keller-esque jokes. | 7 | 2014-01-03 23:54:11 | 0.560151 | -0.233703 | 1,585 | 6,371 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,703 | psykikduk | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1uck69/while_i_was_convincing_my_mom_that_me_saying/ | While I was convincing my mom that me saying "Bastard" was not swearing. Me (to mom): Bastard is not a swear word, it's a legitimate thing!Dad: Or an Illegitimate thing. | 243 | 2014-01-03 23:18:08 | 0.6344 | -0.197409 | 1,652 | 6,632 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,704 | RunningMoto | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1uc87v/double_dadjoke_at_five_guys/ | Double dad-joke at Five Guys My dad and I are getting lunch at Five Guys Burgers and Fries and he begins ordering before me."I'd like aaaaaaaaaa..." he said to drag out his sentence while thinking of what to order.The cashier cuts in and she says, "Sorry, but we're all out of aaaaaaas."I say, "Darn. I guess I'll have to order an 'uhmmmm'."Me and the cashier then shared a laugh at my dad's expense. | 46 | 2014-01-03 21:08:28 | 0.668086 | -0.021016 | 2,037 | 8,042 | 254 | 254 | Dad Jokes and Puns | false |
52,705 | Admiral_Thrashbar | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1uc6tu/my_dads_all_time_favorite/ | My dads all time favorite Whenever we're going somewhere that requires a substantial amount of driving time (at least two hours) my family stops at a McDonalds or something for food. My dad will always order a coffee and be a little unclear about his order so the server will have to ask if he wants sugar in his coffee to which he will reply "no thanks, I'm sweet enough". | 9 | 2014-01-03 20:53:57 | 0.631738 | -0.027784 | 2,036 | 8,040 | 254 | 254 | Dad Jokes and Puns | false |
52,706 | [deleted] | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1uc66i/with_this_blizzard_were_having/ | With this blizzard we're having.... Edward isn't the only one who's *Snowden* | 8 | 2014-01-03 20:47:22 | 0.264157 | 0.258433 | 2,600 | 10,320 | 246 | 246 | Political and Cultural Jokes | false |
52,707 | Xarazych | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1ubyav/not_a_dad_but_i_got_my_little_sister/ | Not a dad, but I got my little sister. My sister found a jar of molasses in the kitchen cabinet and asked what it was. The first thing I thought of to respond was "the last part of the mole to go down the hole." My mom just looked at me and shook her head in shame as I cracked up. | 21 | 2014-01-03 19:27:53 | 0.588147 | -0.135121 | 1,778 | 7,141 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,708 | GAMERBOB93 | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1uby8a/my_dad_said_this_after_i_told_him_the_story_about/ | My dad said this after I told him the story about how I got stung by a bee after I found it in my shoe... "That must have created quite a buzz." | 6 | 2014-01-03 19:27:03 | 0.09848 | 0.612314 | 3,299 | 13,254 | 63 | 63 | Bee Jokes | false |
52,709 | mjarc | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1ubxwi/whenever_were_having_dinner/ | Whenever we're having dinner. Dad: Dinner is in the oven.Me: How long is it going to be?Dad: About 30 cm. | 18 | 2014-01-03 19:23:56 | 0.669434 | -0.049134 | 1,973 | 7,786 | 254 | 254 | Dad Jokes and Puns | false |
52,710 | Trolljaboy | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1ubr3b/this_is_my_first_wife/ | This is my first wife. My dad introduces my mother as his first wife to people. Even though it is both their first and only marriage. | 9 | 2014-01-03 18:14:58 | 0.588082 | -0.28457 | 1,458 | 5,861 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,711 | e-duncan | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1ublk6/i_am_going_to_my_womb/ | I am going to my Womb Okay lets be clear this is more of a Mom joke, but it is a Dad joke of a Mom. Now that's out of the way I was over at my friend's house, his parents are pretty funny and this joke is about his parent and not mine own.So my friend has a four year old sister and she was mad because she couldn't have soda, so she threw a four year old fit. Her dad comes up to her and tells her she can have a cup of water. She starts crying and yells "I am going to my Womb", as four year olds can't pronounce Rs. Her Mother appears from her room and screams "Hey once you're out, you're out. There is no coming back in" The Dad who was doing his poker face breaks and starts crying laughing, so does everyone else but the daughter who just looks confused. After a few seconds we calm down and she says it again and storms off, as we chuckle. | 25 | 2014-01-03 17:15:20 | 0.583388 | -0.25378 | 1,522 | 6,117 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,712 | joyfulmastermind | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1ubgk5/my_dad_caught_me_off_guard_yesterday/ | My Dad caught me off guard yesterday Yesterday I was trying to explain the birthday paradox to my dad, which states that in a group of 23 people, there's a 50% chance of two of them having the same birthday. Me: "the reason why two people probably have the same birthday is really complicated math."Dad: "I already know why."Me: "oh? Why?"Dad: "because they were born on the same day." | 124 | 2014-01-03 16:16:36 | 0.612679 | -0.298904 | 1,459 | 5,735 | 300 | -1 | Dad Jokes and Puns | false |
52,713 | The_Only_Abe | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1ub9mx/my_dad_on_an_unarmed_bank_robber/ | My dad on an unarmed bank robber My dad was reading the paper after we had finished eating dinner, and said this after reading an excerptDad: "Well, it shouldn't be too hard find a guy with no arms" | 9 | 2014-01-03 14:40:57 | 0.499968 | -0.094277 | 1,839 | 7,391 | 307 | -1 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,714 | polistes1 | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1ub7kg/my_sister_just_called_someone_a_psychopath/ | My sister just called someone a psychopath Quick as a flash my dad said "easist way to get around the county" | 8 | 2014-01-03 14:07:01 | 0.540568 | -0.091683 | 1,905 | 7,522 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,715 | odins_left_eye | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1uazdr/i_told_my_first_dad_joke_today/ | I told my first dad joke today. I didn't even mean to make a dad joke, apparently after seven years of being a dad, it just starts to happen.I was installing some shelves up on the walls over my computer desk. Having just finished marking the walls where I was going to insert the screws, I was now installing the brackets onto the boards.From behind me, I heard my wife say, "How's it going?"Me: "Well, it's shellfish."Wife: "It's what?"Me: "Shellfish. I'm still putting the mounting brackets on, so it's not a shelf yet. It's shelf-ish. Shellfish."At least my daughter thought it was funny. | 1,110 | 2014-01-03 11:01:55 | 0.633209 | -0.195512 | 1,652 | 6,632 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,716 | zippedlightning | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1uaskv/my_girlfriends_dad_said_this_while_shingling_the/ | My Girlfriend's Dad Said This While Shingling The Roof "This roof is poison. One drop will kill me!" | 331 | 2014-01-03 08:17:49 | 0.50015 | -0.054321 | 1,968 | 7,776 | 306 | -1 | Puns and Dad Jokes | false |
52,717 | McWidget01 | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1uam0h/yes_sex_would_be_fine/ | yes sex would be fine Going through Chick-Fil-A drive through-Young Drive Through Lady: (Hands us a whole bunch of food)Dad: ThanksYoung Drive Through Lady: Would you like some sacks? (Since there was a lot of food and for some reason she didn't put any of it in a bag)Dad: Yes sex would be fine. (Staring at drive through lady)Drive Through Lady: Sorry sir we don't sell that here. (Smiles and hands sack)Dad: (Drives off laughing) | 39 | 2014-01-03 06:23:15 | 0.64318 | -0.042864 | 1,972 | 7,913 | 254 | 254 | Dad Jokes and Puns | false |
52,718 | [deleted] | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1uadis/potatopop/ | Potato-Pop At dinner tonight, I offered a potato to my grandfather when my dad chimed in.Me: "Do you want a potato pop?"Dad: "Whats a potato-pop? I want a potato-pop!" | 7 | 2014-01-03 04:33:16 | 0.650427 | 0.015635 | 2,100 | 8,425 | 254 | 254 | Dad Jokes and Puns | false |
52,719 | [deleted] | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u9h97/my_little_girl_dadjoked_me_today/ | My little girl dad-joked me today.. Me: Pick up your room!Her: I can't.Me: (Getting angrier) Why not?Her: (All smiles) It's too heavy.I guess I have to pick up my game here. | 164 | 2014-01-02 22:19:10 | 0.511764 | -0.216373 | 1,648 | 6,496 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,720 | mslvr40 | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u9g3i/at_crackerbarrel_the_other_day/ | At Cracker-Barrel The other day brother: This meal looks delicious. I have no regrets.Dad as he hands him a bowl of grits: Here, now you have no regritsfollowed by his uncontrollable laughter | 11 | 2014-01-02 22:07:54 | 0.66864 | -0.024517 | 2,037 | 8,042 | 254 | 254 | Dad Jokes and Puns | false |
52,721 | Rybaka1994 | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u98b2/watching_some_movie_where_a_bunch_of_dog_sledders/ | Watching some movie where a bunch of dog sledders end up having to eat the dogs He points to the cats and goes "If we eat them it'll be a cat-astrophe!"Ugh | 7 | 2014-01-02 20:49:34 | 0.279954 | 0.710943 | 3,496 | 14,033 | 84 | 84 | Cat Jokes | false |
52,722 | goebela | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u957h/driving_wildy/ | Driving wildy Situation: My dad starts swerving around the road joking that he's a asshole on a cell phone Me: you know some undercover cops could pull you over thinking your drunk right ? Dad: yeah but I don't see any cops under blankets so we're safe | 8 | 2014-01-02 20:18:18 | 0.504336 | -0.113279 | 1,840 | 7,264 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,723 | mrtitkins | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u8xaf/didnt_see_that_one_coming/ | Didn't see that one coming... **Dad**: Did I tell you about the holiday party I went to last week?**Me**: No...**Dad**: I met a woman with a *Merry Christmas* tattoo on one thigh, and a *Happy New Year* tattoo on the other. She said that everyone was welcome to come up between the holidays. | 22 | 2014-01-02 18:54:36 | 0.580543 | -0.14941 | 1,778 | 7,013 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,724 | scrap_haoles | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u8viz/at_dinner_last_night/ | At dinner last night... I was at dinner with my family at an Italian restaurant and the waitress said, "Here is some extra virgin olive oil for your bread." And then my dad said, "can I get something with a little more experience?" My dad's thick accent did not help, the poor girl couldn't tell it was a joke | 23 | 2014-01-02 18:37:04 | 0.676587 | 0.021765 | 2,101 | 8,427 | 254 | 254 | Dad Jokes and Puns | false |
52,725 | meowkittycat7 | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u8t3k/why_do_people_cry_when_crushing_cans/ | Why do people cry when crushing cans? Because it's soda pressing! | 21 | 2014-01-02 18:14:39 | 0.433927 | 0.112204 | 2,285 | 9,179 | 237 | 237 | Alcohol and Drinking Jokes | false |
52,726 | beat1706 | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u8d3p/brain_sucker/ | Brain Sucker I learned this from an old girlfriend's dad when he did it to her little sister.Dad: Puts his hand on top of kid's head and squeezes to imitate a rhythmic suction. Then he says "You know what this is?"Kid: "No what?"Dad: "It's a brain sucker, you know what it's doing?"Kid: "Sucking my brain."Dad: "Nope! It's starving!"This one gets me every time! | 1,847 | 2014-01-02 14:58:19 | 0.625536 | -0.102293 | 1,844 | 7,400 | 278 | 278 | Dad Jokes and Puns | false |
52,727 | perkinsms | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u88be/all_the_time_at_my_house/ | All the time at my house someone: There's more X if you want it...Dad: There's more X if you DON'T want it. (silly grin)Every. Damn. Time. | 37 | 2014-01-02 13:35:47 | 0.583459 | -0.121477 | 1,842 | 7,269 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,728 | BrassSpider | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u865b/two_dadjokes_in_one_evening_from_2_different_dads/ | Two dadjokes in one evening, from 2 different dads "Joke" #1 (from my brother-in-laws father in law...actually, it's not a joke, but it deserves to be here.)BIL'sFIL: What about an elbow truck?Everyone else: ???BIL'sFIL: You know, instead of a toe-truck?---Joke #2 from my Father in-law, (while discussing how my brother-in-law and brother-in-law's father in-law "bonded" over a movie.)FIL: Did they use a strong glue? | 8 | 2014-01-02 12:46:36 | 0.66246 | -0.217905 | 1,653 | 6,506 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,729 | Juicy-Drucy | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u7n05/while_showing_me_his_tool_collection/ | While showing me his tool collection... Backstory: So we're in the shed and Dad's showing me all his tools, when he suddenly stops and has a disgusted look on his face.Dad: Does, does it smell like a hammerdo in here?Me: Ummm whats a hammerdo?Dad: Well son, (picks up his hammer) a hammer is used to hit nails on the head!And of course he laughs like an idiot for the next five minutes... | 23 | 2014-01-02 05:59:28 | 0.559537 | -0.115711 | 1,841 | 7,267 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,730 | laineedee | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u7lfd/my_pop_just_said_to_my_2_year_old_daughter/ | My pop just said to my 2 year old daughter Don't put the party pie on your head! It's not a hat! Hold it like a telephone... now you're a "pie on ear"!! | 87 | 2014-01-02 05:36:26 | 0.546435 | -0.170897 | 1,713 | 6,882 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,731 | [deleted] | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u7ahy/recently_getting_into_the_habit_of_flossing/ | Recently getting into the habit of flossing... I'm the only one in my immediate family that flosses at all and the other day I was explaining to my brother what the benefits of flossing are:Me: "I've read that a lot of the damage that plaque does to your teeth can be prevented by flossing, it only takes about a minute every time too, so there isn't really a big reason not to do it."My brother: "Oh really, is that your flossophy?"I would have groaned louder if I wasn't so goddamn impressed. | 70 | 2014-01-02 03:06:58 | 0.409442 | -0.511237 | 1,005 | 4,058 | 117 | 117 | Dental Jokes | false |
52,732 | Hptsxstream | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u76nm/every_time_my_dad_goes_to_the_barber/ | Every time my dad goes to the barber... Me: "oh, you got a haircut."Dad: "yeah! I got a lot of them cut!" | 8 | 2014-01-02 02:19:37 | -0.228402 | -0.288639 | 1,432 | 5,809 | 38 | 38 | Hair and Beard Jokes | false |
52,733 | groggyjava | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u7635/what_did_green_say_to_yellow/ | what did green say to yellow? i've been so blue since you left me. | 37 | 2014-01-02 02:12:52 | -0.087068 | -0.213731 | 1,629 | 6,458 | 105 | 105 | Color Blindness Jokes | false |
52,734 | Cardboard1 | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u70d3/wheres_my_comb/ | Where's my comb? My friends family was driving through DC the other day and they were looking for a certain Macomb street. Mom: Come on where's this street? Where's Macomb?Dad: Right next to Mabrush street. | 17 | 2014-01-02 01:03:37 | 0.534871 | -0.107724 | 1,841 | 7,394 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,735 | scottwalker88 | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u6yz1/what_is_et_short_for/ | What is E.T. Short for? Because he has short legs. My dad answered every joke like this from the Christmas crackers instantly and laughed at every one. | 89 | 2014-01-02 00:46:29 | -0.320206 | 0.001342 | 2,069 | 8,235 | 19 | 19 | Jokes and Puns | false |
52,736 | GoodSpelller | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u6g0i/dadjoke_failed_on_unappreciative_wife/ | Dadjoke failed on unappreciative wife First words of the new year, to my wife, "would you like to start the new year off with a bang?" | 120 | 2014-01-01 20:50:37 | 0.498469 | -0.212513 | 1,647 | 6,495 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,737 | [deleted] | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u6dja/well_hes_not_wrong/ | Well, he's not wrong. This morning, a commercial came on advertising the new, upcoming season of Modern Family. I had forgotten how the previous season had ended so I asked my father. "How did last season end?" he replied, "With the credits." | 17 | 2014-01-01 20:22:03 | 0.593125 | -0.202417 | 1,650 | 6,629 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,738 | KingBobTV | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u6ac3/perfect_eyesight/ | Perfect Eyesight Dad: Wow, it's already 2014. Heck, in six years, everybody will have perfect eyesight!Me: Why's that?Dad: It'll be 2020! | 254 | 2014-01-01 19:45:14 | 0.147242 | -0.405717 | 1,252 | 4,937 | 168 | -1 | 2020 Vision Jokes | false |
52,739 | riversfan17 | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u6a7r/was_talking_to_my_sister_about_the_show_castle/ | Was talking to my sister about the show Castle Me: What happened on the last episode of Castle? Her: I don't remember, hmmmDad: The moat broke Us: What?.... Ohhh | 33 | 2014-01-01 19:43:42 | 0.57173 | -0.21384 | 1,650 | 6,500 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,740 | JackieMidnight18 | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u67ms/dad_dropped_this_one_while_driving_through_texas/ | Dad dropped this one while driving through Texas *sees sign for Dolphin Road*Dad: "Dolphin Road? Do you think they put that there on porpoise?" | 11 | 2014-01-01 19:12:18 | 0.044501 | 0.472483 | 3,041 | 12,098 | 106 | 106 | Marine Animal Jokes | false |
52,741 | Random-Spark | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u636q/winterclassic_and_a_dadjoke/ | Winterclassic, and a dadjoke. My grandfather walks up to me and says "I can predict the score of the game before they ever start!" Suspicious, I challenge him. In all his dadlike wisdom, I lose the challenge in seconds flat. "the score is zero to zero" | 28 | 2014-01-01 18:16:02 | 0.524257 | -0.159987 | 1,712 | 6,881 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,742 | HammerFace | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u62cy/at_a_restaurant/ | At a restaurant... Whenever my dad got his beverage, he would put the straw in and blow bubbles followed by"Put the damn thing in upside down..."Then he flipped it over and proceeded to drink normally. I've adopted this one, but wouldn't recommend it on a first date. Maybe second... | 1,811 | 2014-01-01 18:05:49 | 0.569896 | 0.00437 | 2,098 | 8,292 | 192 | -1 | Dad Jokes and Humor | false |
52,743 | Hellzapoppin | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u5p5k/its_not_even_easter/ | It's not even Easter and people already have their Christmas decorations up. Ridiculous. | 107 | 2014-01-01 14:11:18 | 0.310151 | 0.10174 | 2,281 | 9,043 | 251 | -1 | Wordplay and Puns | false |
52,744 | plammy_sosa | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u5myu/getting_our_things_home_after_vacation/ | Getting our things home after vacation We're on vacation, and due to work and other factors we are all heading home at different times on different flights. My mom says to my dad:"Can we discuss how we're getting shit home?""Well it'll be way easier if you go to the bathroom and just leave it here"EDIT: a few minutes later, my Mom needed help fitting something into one of our bags. She asked my dad for a hand. He clapped. | 24 | 2014-01-01 13:06:43 | 0.536973 | -0.131043 | 1,777 | 7,138 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,745 | alegemaate | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u5kar/whenever_dinners_ready/ | Whenever dinners ready Nearly every dinner my dad has the same routine when calling us to the dinner table. He yells, "let's eat, people!" then he smirks and says... "Well... let's not eat people." | 31 | 2014-01-01 11:39:54 | 0.676946 | -0.021361 | 2,037 | 8,043 | 254 | 254 | Dad Jokes and Puns | false |
52,746 | ThroughTheWire | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u5ffv/a_joke_my_dad_dropped_on_me_a_few_months_ago/ | A joke my dad dropped on me a few months ago In the middle of a conversation I was having with my mom about old retro games and consoles being pretty expensive these days for collectors, my dad walks in and says:"It's too bad son, your gameboy never grew up to be a ...gameman" | 8 | 2014-01-01 09:03:29 | 0.584421 | -0.182428 | 1,714 | 6,757 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,747 | thatkid1441 | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u5dr2/more_clever_than_usual/ | More clever than usual. My dad and I were watching the ball drop when Miley started performing 'Wrecking Ball'.He turns to me and says, "Knock, knock"Me, "Oh God, who's there?"Him, "Hakeem"Me, "Hakkem who?"and right as the chorus came on, he sings at the top of his lungs,"HAKEEEEEEM INNN LIKEEE A WREEECKKKKINNNGG BALLLL!" | 65 | 2014-01-01 08:16:41 | 0.62934 | -0.179456 | 1,716 | 6,760 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,748 | Paleran | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u4ord/my_daughter_doesnt_wear_polka_dot_dresses_anymore/ | My daughter doesn't wear polka dot dresses anymore... ... because every time she does, I poke all the dots saying, "Nice poke-a-dot dress, hun!" | 8 | 2014-01-01 00:52:45 | 0.491632 | -0.240429 | 1,583 | 6,239 | 307 | 307 | Dad Jokes | false |
52,749 | clothing5 | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u4n5x/dads_remember_nye_protocol/ | Dads, remember NYE protocol. 1. Wait till 11:59.2. Say, "See you next year!"3. Turn your back on person.4. Turn back a minute later.5. "Heeeeey there!"If we stick to this, I'm sure we can have a great new year! | 7 | 2014-01-01 00:31:20 | 0.122949 | -0.40239 | 1,251 | 4,935 | 168 | 168 | 2020 Vision Jokes | false |
52,750 | AOneArmedHobo | https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1u4mai/farewell_dad_jokes/ | Farewell Dad Jokes... See you next year! | 34 | 2014-01-01 00:19:53 | 0.680125 | -0.260883 | 1,525 | 6,123 | 282 | -1 | Dad Jokes | false |
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