filename
stringlengths 15
15
| content
stringlengths 572
72.8k
|
|---|---|
5HK4JCTmQI4.txt | New York we say TW Tua TW Tua with haly
Welch brother wait I like that white
girl accent you
really I want to see a rat so bad here I
can't stand it pook Pooky is your man
whoa I have to confess something to you
you're
[Music]
man as always talk to is brought to you
by better Pi better Pi offers the
easiest ways to win a thousand times
your money all NFL season long so all
you have to do is get eight correct
picks about your favorite players and
you can win 1 thousand times your money
you could literally turn $1 into 1,000
just by watching football and picking
more or less on your favorite players
projections grab that phone out of your
pocket right now download better
download better play better pics and
don't forget to use code talk Tua when
you sign up welcome back to talk TOA
better original we got Miss Hannah
burner and today we're at the bolero and
Time Square this is is I've never
recorded a pod in this kind of space
this is pretty cool also I like these
Game of Throne chairs dude there's a
whole dope ass like bowling alley over
there we have moose and then we got Miss
Hannah today I love how Moose came
before me I'm just kidding well see I
got a thinking I was like moose is a
bigger person so moose is the star of
the show very very handsome boy it moose
he's a good boy it moose good moose
shall we I love how I've I'm taking
charge right now shall we begin with
your shoe Choice the first thing you
said when I sat down down you go these
my funeral boots these are my funeral
boots cheet print boots see normally you
wear like black to a funeral but what's
your outfit it can't be just black I
mean you got to think about it you
really got to put this into perspective
you can't just have like a whole black
outfit and no color you got to have
something that compliments your outfit
why not cheatah print boots okay I get
it I guess maybe there needs to be like
a a Happy Spirit in the room or
something you got people over here
crying and them crying oh cute boots go
back to crying you know yeah yeah it
takes
the tension out of the room I feel like
how many funerals have you been to I
actually try to avoid
funerals I just so you don't ever get to
wear the boots I've been like three
funerals or you get kicked out cuz you
walk in with cheetah boots and they're
like you have no respect for this
person's life well you know I know the
person they probably would lik my boots
too so true true I love I mean who
thought of the whole idea of like
wearing white when you get married
wearing black when people die it seems
kind of like basic it does it's like
played out like who playing that it's so
true it's like chy I want to know who
like picked the days of the week too
like Wednesday where'd you come up with
that like do you ever think about
that kind of stuff are you high I wish
ston I do I think about too much
that's my problem I do think that it's
up how they spelled Wednesday
like who was like wedes day yeah I
didn't want to put you on the spot but
wedes day is up who was like
let's put an n in there just to up
every elementary school kid trying to
pass and they all end and why too how'
they do that the day
part the day thing we got to change some
stuff girls that's why I sat you here
today we have to make some changes yeah
what kind of changes should we start
with you know what I want to know
because this is some fish out of water
you're in New York City what what
do you like or dislike about New York
City um actually I do have one big um
problem this is my third time I've been
here and I have yet to see a rat
I want to see a rat so bad here I can't
stand it so rats only go towards people
with bad energy so you saw the TIC toac
going around saying the Rats of what's
the quote the
rats they're taking birth control
they're saying the rats are controlling
the city or whatever apparently we to we
heard from your producer that they're
giving rats birth control so that rats
can't they're giving rats abortions
abortions are rapid they have a voice
they're up I say it's it's the rat's
choice if the rats want to want a
boarding rat body their choice not their
joice exactly so if these rats cuz we
don't need no more rat also have you
ever seen a rat baby have you saw a baby
pigeon those are not real
do you know what they say though if like
a crazy person starts coming for you
kiss them your
pants that is the one they're not going
to that's the one I don't know why you
went towards kissing I mean that was
crazy that crazy thing to say what do
you do after you your pants you
like pull it out like throw it at you
got a freaking out more than they're
trying to freak you out it's like at the
bar if a guy's hitting on you and you're
just like and he'll leave you alone
that's when you fart on and dip you fart
you talk about astrology and you did
yeah you say Leo get out of here they
Leo yes are Leo obviously oh Pisces oh
you
emotional I'm are you crying right now
I'm not emotional I am sensitive wait
can I ask
Chelsea how has she changed has she
become a monster yes no I'm just Kidd
I she demanded these fancy chairs she
made you sit in the small one yeah what
the hell is this that had nothing to do
with me yeah that was that was her team
that was freaking go she a team at least
you got a pretty white boot beside you
yeah that's true that's true you have a
boot we these on Broadway next week Play
Better
B damn I hate we can't go on Broadway no
more who said we got you get recognized
too even by yourself yeah but okay this
is this is going to sound offensive can
you yodel
I don't know I don't think I've ever
tried it can you
yodel I feel like you give me yodling
Vibes Mason
Ramsey few I have read that somewhere
like that's Mason Ram's older sister I'm
like man y'all he's killing it no
he is he messaged me actually he's like
dude please like a collab of some kind
he's so cute my thing is so I'm
originally from Brooklyn New York and
like I'm like a city kid like City rat
like I'm one of the rats that you want
to meet I don't know anything about the
country I don't like I don't know
country music but I appreciate it I love
different cultures but like if I'm in
nature for too long I get scared CU like
they don't have Bas they don't have
hospitals they don't have
hospitals we have a hospital hospital we
have a hospital though yeah but if you
got like a Shard of glass in your
eye they're going to tell you
you're okay like so serious that's like
country actually there's a comedian
that's very funny Ryan Hamilton who
talks about about New Yorkers how we're
always like if you can make it here you
can make it anywhere but he's like but
take a New Yorker out of New York and we
can't make it like I couldn't make it in
your town I'd freak I can't drive I
don't have a driver's license wait taxi
you don't have a driver's license no why
what it's a long
story also when I handle southern people
I started talking Southern this is who I
am now I'm trying to fit in with the
girls and she's got the camo pants on
water pants cuz I was like she'll she'll
accept me if I wear these
C but this is the thing I I actually got
my driver's license at 24 but I hit the
curb at the end like I ramm the curb and
my dad was like you shouldn't give it to
her but the person already pass me then
it expired during Co I didn't know how
to re get it and now and then I tried
and I failed my test so like I'm I'm
saving the environment by not driving
I've been talking to you for five
minutes and I'm absolutely amused with
you wait that's the nicest thing
anyone's ever said to me I'm so amused
with you you really don't have a
driver's license no girl you just work
hard and you talking enough and you
get a driver you know that's fair that's
a fair point they men love driving you
around I can drive to an extent just not
on the interstate I love how you're like
I have a license but I can't drive yeah
see at least I'm not legally allowed
you're out here in these streets I am
allowed and I also run over curbs like
that's why I drive us everywhere this
don't don't don't be fooled by her
we were getting our nails done a few
weeks ago in Nashville left there she's
driving my car cuzz her car said kapi it
just no more so I'm like oh you can
drive my car whatever I love K I have to
say that more often the whole left side
of my car went and went back down I was
like what the was that and she just
kind of looked at me and smiled I was
like that was a sidewalk what do you
have a trck yeah do you have a truck
what do you think I drive oh wait that's
a good question I feel like you drive
jeep what is the most atrocious car a
white girl d a white girl can wear or
drive excuse me I'm New Yorker I don't
know anything about cars
what do you have um have you not ever
seen like the allegations of these cars
like the girls that drive it are
absolutely
feral like white trash like white trash
chaotic can't drive worth as
they'll hit anything is it like a
Corolla I don't know anything about cars
a Nissan Ultima oh that just tight that
is a curb stomping ass and I feel like
you just have like gelx nails all over
the floor like that's just what I
Envision my car actually stays really
clean unless she's has been in it oh
okay that some time my car is dirty wait
so are you living in Nashville now it's
an hour south of Nashville oh so you're
still you haven't done the move to the
city oh no I won't you're not City
that's like taking you and putting you
out in the Boondocks see and that's what
we're going to do that's what we planned
you know I've never I've never been
fishing I've never been
hunting I've never been I don't really
hunt either I don't like killing stuff I
don't like killing stuff I think it's
bad like going fishing that shit's fun
do you put the fish back you eat them I
mean it depends I've been clamming
what that's some that's some Northeast
claming clamming you get in this
mud and you get a rake and then you just
clam and cl mud they live in mud do you
eat them yeah should I try one have you
ever had a clam no I'm scared of them we
have to do like a haly goes around
trying food that isn't grits actually I
don't eat grits you don't eat grits I
love grits I don't like grits I think
they're just like strange looking do you
know how I learned about Grits my cousin
Vinnie Vinnie have you watched my cousin
and Vinnie
uhuh who's Vinnie wait am I aging myself
Vinnie hacker
what we remake with Vinnie hacker my
cousin Vinnie is this movie I don't even
know if it's so it's such a beautiful
movie what's the name of it it's called
my cousin Vinnie oh but anyway they
sheat I thought that you actually had a
cousin named Vinnie no it's just a movie
it's just a movie I highly recommend
five stars but yeah it's it's a very
good movie but that's how I learned
about grits when I go in the South I
drink sweet tea and that gets me
upwe that's like crack cocaine
the sweet tea I feel like people drink
it at home but they're not like crazy
about it like it's it's more of like a
stereotype it's just like a I don't know
cuz I water hot chicken too have you
ever heard of Nashville's Hot Chicken
yeah I have never went out of my way to
get hot chicken I don't think she has
either yeah know question are you guys
considered the south or the middle South
South I say never eat soggy yeah
sth never eat soggy waffles first I want
to thank you for having a Yankee on the
Pod she doesn't know she doesn't know
what I'm talking about no I just had
like a brain fart for a minute I was
like I a know why she just said that
second of all how do you guys feel about
losing the
war what Civil
War to me oh we lost a civil war to you
yeah you all took the
L are you over it we're a little
uneducated don't know what you're
talking about um no there was a war with
North North South oh and it's kind of
crazy cuz you guys I feel like we're
better at fighting but somehow the north
won you're so educated no I don't know
anything about the war except the north
my friend was from Arkansas pigu AR Pig
I love Arkansas actually Arkansas is did
I say it funny say water water so the
way I do this pod if it if we were from
New York we say talk Tua talk Tua with
haly Welch talk Tua we're talking
today welcome New Jersey Tri State
Brooklyn Stan Island let's go let's talk
some today you ready let's go I
what's your favorite pizza
[Music]
cheese I like cheese
pizza say I want to walk to the store to
get some coffee I to walk to the store
to get some coffee
your oh my white girl that's Harley wait
you sound like Ariana Grande
she I am Grande I talk like this now
wait I like that wake girl accent you
really so I've come to conclusion when
people come to me and they're like are
you that girl I'm like what are you
talking about they're like they they
immediately get scared if you dyed your
hair brown and you talk like that you'd
be good you could be
aogo like I don't see any problem with
it do
you it actually terrifies me when she
talks like that cuz she looks like she's
about she's like a Karen she's about to
be like can I play a speak to the
manager exactly mine wasn't good
store we just figured out I could do
that like a few months ago like I had no
idea I could do that this is out
here I'm her manager now do sorry doing
charity out here unnecessarily amount
she's about to get a Nobel PE Peace
Prize she's in the Peace Court she's
doing something this girl is giving back
and she doesn't have to so shout out to
you well thank you I just want to put
that out there there you ever see those
girls in like the pageants like what's
one thing you can change about the world
and they're like World Peace that's me
that is so me how do we feel
about Pooky having chest hair I
personally do not like chest hair I
don't like it touching me so I make
Pooky like shave it off I like when
pooki uses the chairman Pro Electric
full shaver it's the latest Innovation
at manscaped what makes the shav is so
amazing it's the ultimate tool that
brings a luxury and professional shave
right to his bathroom and it's kind of
fun I you should like shave his chest
for him can you use it in the shower
heck yeah it's waterproof you can use it
in the shower it comes with two skin
safe blad heads it even comes with a
travel loog it's perfect for business
shrimps and weekend getaways with Pooky
so if you're looking for a thoughtful
and practical gift that he'll actually
use in love the chairman Pro is a way to
go get 20% off in free shipping with the
code to at manscape.com that's 20% off
in free shipping with the code tah
manscape.com the chairman Pro is the way
to go I have to confess something to you
you're
man I knew it I knew I I was waiting for
it to come out I knew it was too good to
be
true so hay was talking about how she's
like I I don't want to talk to men
anymore and I have to tell you something
no I'm just kidding but it is about men
it is about men you hate them too look
some of them are good and some of them
are not and it's important to not get
rosecolor glasses but in terms of the HW
Tua thing
I hate spit
what I just have to tell you because I
feel like we're connecting and we can be
different in some ways but I'm going
stay real with you that be okay you and
Whitney are different some ways and
y'all hit it off exact because we're
both you know we like to have fun we
like to person too thank you because my
thing is I don't know what it is about
spit it's like it's I'm like I don't
want you to spit it's kind of nasty if
you think about it I don't want him but
he can put his tongue all up in me but I
don't want him spitting on me and I I'm
not gonna spit on him because you know
like when you're little you like lick
your arm and you smell it and you're
like
brother yeah brother so that I'm like
adult but then like if he spit I'm like
just use some Loop yeah do you
you she a spit she's she spits do you
ever run out of
spit I mean put it this
way if you ever get Cott in moue real
bad you're like trying to swiitch it up
I hate it when I'm cotton mouth that
means like my lips are shriveling up
turn I'm like oh where's my
chapstick you got to get there's nothing
together until I have Chapstick on do
they have Lube in
Tennessee yes they I'm sure they do I
mean I've personally never looked for it
but it's funny cuz I was doing crowd
work with this girl who's like younger
at the age of myself but she was like
I've never used Lube before and like
look I'm as what as they come like you
but a little Lube helps you know in the
beginning when you're a little like
nervous or like you're running out like
a little Lube just gets everything
flowing better and I was late to the
Lube game and I realized I just want a
promoter for the girls listening who may
be like me who don't love I don't like I
don't want to slip on my own spit now
that I'm thinking about it you know you
put that lube like in my shoe right what
are you talking about I was in her
bedroom the other night and we were in
this hotel a few months ago and they
have like little care bundles you know
is that what you call you know like how
they give you like little samples of
stuff like sitting on the bathroom
seeing something cond it was like a
little bag and it said kind of you guys
in so was it a brothel no it was Soho
were you getting sex traffick no
no but anyhow they had like these little
plastic things of like lube and they
were so squishy they just felt like
Orbee beads you know and I was like well
let's take it it felt like a what
like it was squishy know like slime kind
of or bead like you know how it's
squishy how do you know what an Orbee
bead is dude that's what my childhood
was I used to B I was like granny please
get me these new color of Orbeez
please she goes Orbeez beads are my
favorite they're my religion they're
what I do everything for like they're
just so soft and they're squishy I need
to look at the or I'm a texture person I
like fing on but they're squishy
and how this Lube it's like in a
little packaging that big yeah I guess
she was cleaning out her suitcase all
night and just tossed it and it went in
my shoe so that's where it kind of
stayed there's some that go hot and cold
I don't need all that that just freaks
me out it would me too like why does my
Cooter taste like bananas I don't get
that that's just not right with me like
I will be like don't spit on me but then
like I'll eat tuna fish from
7-Eleven you know that kind of freak
that's the kind of freak I am do you
have a guilty pleasure for like nasty
food I love nasty food I do too I'm a
sucker for something just I'll also try
anything like if you say it's good I'll
try it you eat caviar you know that sh
is like you don't come across it that
much I try to stay away from it now that
I know what it looks like I will not
how is it chasing you how often
you
cavar oh cuz you're in some rich
right now they try to give you caviar
yeah like we'll go out to dinners and
stuff for like business and I see stuff
like the sushi we had I would love to be
flying the wall one of your business
centers so you're married right yeah but
it's off brand like I don't talk about
it a lot it's just like a side thing
that happened while I was while I was
living my life it happened it just
happened if you guys have any
relationship questions by the way cuz
I'm married people think I know
everything and I can answer well I have
High Hopes in you that you know
everything how' you meet this
fell o so he's a comedian so he giggled
you out of your draws that's what it is
laughter was is the only way to no if
he's there's other ways to get me on my
drawers but laughter is sustainable like
yeah if I feel like relationships are
just like a conversation for a long time
you ever like like someone you get all
excited but then you're like sitting on
the couch with them and you're like I'm
not interested in anything you're saying
yes you know you don't like how they
breathe you need someone that makes you
laugh and I'm not saying you have to be
the comedian but make someone that that
has good chemistry that you could be
stupid with yeah I cannot be with like a
serious man he's going to be like funny
you know yeah and and there's a
confidence that comes with a guy that
doesn't take himself too seriously and a
girl who doesn't take herself too
seriously that's hot that's confident
that's why your video blew up you think
that's hot yeah I do that's good because
it's like you're you're just being
yourself and being Comfort comfortable
in your skin so how long have You' been
married I'm a baby two years just two
years but he so yeah I was in I was
doing cold calling sales mhm but I loved
comedy so I'd go to comedy shows and I
actually saw him perform at the comedy
seller way like seven years ago and I
was like this guy's hot but like I'm not
going to talk to him and he lived in
Ireland oh he's Irish he's from New York
but he's Irish and he when he was 14 he
was naughty he was being crazy so his
parents shipped him off to Ireland where
like they're even better at drinking
which is hilarious so he went to the
major leagues of drinking and became a
comedian there um but yeah irish guys
are fun does he have like an accent he
has like a mix like he'll say Irish
stuff and a queen's accent that's so
cute but um during Co I got into comedy
and we followed each other and during Co
he came back to Long Island and I was in
Long Island during Co and he just dm'd
me I was like do you want to get coffee
and it's like a best friend like you
meet them and you're just like oh I want
to spend all my time with this person
and it was like real quick but it was
right after I was like 29 single live
with my parents four cats four cats it
was it was getting like dark
aesthetically like people would be like
you're not doing well and my mom being
like is there something wrong and I was
like no one got away and like I'm
actually I feel like when you're at the
point where you go oh being single is
better than being with the wrong dude is
when the right energy comes towards you
you manifested that I manifested that I
but I feel like in my 20s it's a lot of
like figuring out who you like how you
feel comfortable like like be yourself
who the is that I don't know I'm
becoming myself my brain isn't even
fully formed in my 20s not to you know
but it's true no that's okay I learn
something new every day about myself
that that's okay I learn something new
almost every day hey Chelsea do you
remember when we went to Matt R yes that
was so much fun I just love going to
Live Events let me get on my phone and
go to the game time app and we can look
and see which event we want to go to
next oh can you see when Dosh is coming
to Nashville I heard she was going on
tour yeah that sounds like a good idea
you know what I love about game time you
can see the view from the seats before
you buy the tickets here look we got to
get those seats and game time has a new
feature it's called Game Time picks that
makes getting tickets for this event so
much easier I love using game time to
find tickets it's so simple it sounds
like it helps to filter everything so
you can see the deal so much quicker yep
and that's what's cool about it even if
we don't get these tickets today we can
get them last minute at her concert
that's great while we're in New York
City should we look and see what we can
do tonight let's do it but first
everyone needs to go download the game
time app create an account use the code
talk to and get $20 off your first
purchase term Supply create an account
and redeem code t a l k t ah for $20 off
download game time today what time is it
game time you're he's a little bit older
than you right oh yeah he's older so I'm
33 he's 48 he's mature thank you why do
you think an older man's better I have a
lot of thoughts on this and I do have to
preface this when I met this man when I
was in my 30s my brain was fully formed
I was financially independent enough
that I wasn't going to depend on him for
anything as you should and I knew what I
wanted and so when I met him in my 30s
it was like he's pre-trained he's been
yelled at by of previous girls so I
don't have to train him because I'm not
a caretaker like that he's confident in
his own stuff so he's not going to be
comparing to me or or weirdly um
competitive with me and older guys like
I listen to them when they talk because
they actually know stuff but I do have
to say in your early 20s I don't like
you with like guys in their 40s
because they could be a
little I don't love I I didn't mean to
side eye you like I do that but like
like I I like guys in your 30s when
you're in your 20s cuz at some point
guys in your 40s I'm like why are they
talking to girls whose brains aren't
fully formed yet yeah and also like are
girls their own age see them for who
they are and that's why they're going
for younger girls my man's a little bit
older but he's not that much older I
like a little bit older yeah he's like
24 yeah cuz let's be honest the maturity
emotional maturity I'd say like me and
my husband are the same is he romantic
he's romantic in like and like he'll do
anything to make me laugh a and he's
romantic and
like he like he's protective of me I
don't trust guys who are too like on
paper romantic like if a guy gets me
flowers too much or he's writing me love
letters I think he's cheating don't put
that in the back of my head I'm
just say I don't put that in the back my
head you all the stories of girls who
get murdered or they um they get cheated
on they always go he used to leave me
love letters every morning about how
great I am and I go he's
overcompensating babe what is some of
your worst and best research stories
when dating I dated a lot athletes with
CTE do you know what CTE is I don't like
the way it sounds I know it's not going
to be good what is that it's notd I know
you were thinking SCD it's not SCD whoa
whoa but they do have scds
too and you hit that it's not good so
like I love football shout out my
fantasy football team it's not good for
men like football's not good for men
they're like Gladiators and they're
risking their mental capacity of being
chase a ball to Chase the ball and they
make money but like do you really care
to make money when you came from a
sentence or you get you start punching
walls for no reason I'm just raising
awareness out here on these streets but
um athletes I dated a athlete um and
yeah he was Dumb and I joked he wanted
me to go to Bible study all the time and
I was like you can't read so how are you
studying the Bible and I wasn't going to
teach him how to read because I'm busy I
have stuff to do you're you're he really
couldn't read you're 21 years old I'm
not teaching you how to read it just
some of them he was very good at
football I feel like you're the man in
all your relationships that's how it
should be though it's funny I feel like
I just have a I was raised very like not
like oh you're a princess I was raised
like you're in control yeah just be
hardworking be smart be kind yeah so
like I'm not trying to I'm just
me and that's all you can be well I like
you I like you a lot and I like you too
I like you too who's funnier is it you
or your husband we I feel like we both
have to find each other like the
funniest the good thing is when we met
during Co we got engaged before we even
saw each other do stand up before so
like I fell in love with this man's
humor off stage like when he's on stage
that's him performing and he's great at
what he does but like there's a lot of
comics that are so funny on stage but
offstage I'm like you're depressing me
you know like they just have bad energy
or some people are really funny but they
don't see your humor you need someone
people always like oh I I want a girl
who laughs at my jokes I want a guy who
laughs at my jokes too I want stay a guy
who never laughed at my jokes he'd have
to go like he was handsome and funny and
successful and everyone like loved me
with him but when I was alone with him I
felt not funny I need to come to one of
your shows I would love to have you
that' be so fun I would love to have you
so how do you pick somebody out of the
crowd you want to like pick on that is
such a good question I want to know cuz
I was watching you last night and you
picked on Kevin poor Kevin bless his
heart bless his heart I smell fear in
the audience I don't know what it is as
a comic you're not just giving a speech
it's like a dance like you're giving me
energy I'm giving you energy and
sometimes you'll sense the boyfriend
who's a little nervous and I actually
want them to like me so how I do is I
build them up I break them down I build
them up and we go on this journey but
like I like a guy who's wearing
something weird or like if they're if
you're doing anything that I could start
off with I'm coming for you and with
comedy you have to be quick to see like
if they're going to bring it or you're
on to the next one but like if a guy's
like holding a girl's hand a certain way
what about like the street interviews
how do you pick out those kind of people
I love you know so that's why I love
your street interview so much because I
I got a lot of my career from Street
interviews but mine was with I'd be
hanging out at the standup club and I
would get the mail Comics outside and
I'd be like don't try to be funny I'm
going to ask these funny questions just
be vulnerable and let me riff with you
so you targeted men so I targeted the
men yeah and they it was great
because I got to ask them they were my
friends so I could like lean in and ask
them like really vulnerable things so I
knew them all I thought they're random
man I did at first try to do random man
I said to Comics I don't want you to
like make this into a joke like I want
it to be raw but the these guys not
everyone wants to be on camera like
they'll be like smoking sigs drunk next
day I'd get e emails like take take this
down and I just want to film people who
want to be on camera cuz like even yours
like if the next day you're like I was
drunk I didn't want you to put that up
they have to take it down oh no no they
don't did you try to get it down yeah I
did and now I'm getting a bunch of
for it but at the end of the day I don't
have any hate in my heart towards those
boys no just they do their thing I'll do
mine I do have to say sometimes the
painful things that are hard like I like
how you leaned into it and and you it
took me a minute it yeah it took me a
minute and a lot of people have viral
moments and not everyone runs with it so
I'm proud of you well thank you it took
like two or three weeks before I was
like you know what I was like he's not
going to take it down I was like I might
as well get the over this so I
did and also we come from a generation
with it's very empowering to talk about
sex obviously like I think there's some
older Generations that are like oh like
it's disgusting it's whatever I go on
stage and I talk about sex so girls feel
less alone and girls are prepared I talk
about losing your virginity on stage and
how about exper cuz and people could be
like oh she's dirty I'm not dirty I'm
talking about it so some mean it's real
though it's normal I don't
understand feels alone it's not a big
deal and also speaking as like I don't
know I feel like the South could be a
little more traditional but like to me I
was like she's a comedian and she didn't
know it yet but like you just made
people laugh and you were being SP
awareness about talking about sex is
important people want us to not talk
about sex so so people can control you
yeah they're out here controlling us no
but seriously if girls never talk we
don't know if his dick is bad if we're
not gossiping if we're not gossiping
about the dick your friend could be
getting fingered on the side of her leg
her whole life yeah left lip left lip
you got to sit down and be like no you
know he should be doing this and that
and you could do that and have you tried
that and see they should appreciate that
more yes and it's so much fun like after
your friend gets back like at the end of
the night from like a date or something
I love getting all the tea from it's the
best tell me one tell me one tell me one
Chelsea tell
me that's all girls talk about if you
want to know but I think it's
important that we talk about stuff so
I'm proud of you I think it is too we
need to normalize it like Chelsea yay
put up I a gonna say that
I I actually want to know what you're
about to say you remember what I told
you the other day oh my
God I'll tell you after I cannot say
that on camera she's a B I could tell
look at her she's a real one
she didn't know what to say when I was
telling her about this other day so me
and Pooky we had like a little pook
Pookie's your man Pookie's my officially
my man first
off oh I didn't even tell you guys heck
me okay so no they were going on a date
I tell you what he walked in and I was
like damn girl damn I was like
Pooky you look so snazzy and he was like
thanks he's like I got to show you
something and he showed me his phone and
it was like he had balloon bons all over
his room he had a sign that said m m
wait so your first date is the first
time he asked you to be his girlfriend I
love that it's it was so cute I
up so background story I've known this
man for like three years oh he's playing
hard to get and I love a good game I'm
always out the you he made it worth it I
guess he got so mad at me I ruined it I
turned the fan on cuz we went to his
apartment he tricked me he had his
friend call him and he was like hey I
need my lunch box it's like at your
house and he was like oh okay we're
going to go get it and I was like okay
that's fine Chelsea's still acting about
doing her thing you know that's fine we
go back to his apartment and he turns on
the lights and I was like his bedroom
door is shut I was like the he
hiding up in there his door ain't never
shut I was like something's cooked I
open that door and I swung it open I
would turn the lights on I turned the
fan on and all those balloons just whoos
gone it was still cute though I I do
like if every time you go to his place
he has new balloons that's not a good
sign but I like him taking a moment for
a beautiful part of the relationship so
proud of Ito he had like rose petals on
like a on the bed and a little heart
shape and then a big bouquet of roses in
pie is the most southern name I've
ever heard that's what you call you
actually know what Pooky is it's like an
atrocious fart it's
it's know wait my favorite thing about
southern names is the grandmas how you
always call him like mimma MMA M like we
call them grandma like Nana or grandma
that's it in the north it's Nana or
Grandma if they're Italian they're Nana
if they're not Italian they're Grandma
well I have granny I have a Nana um I
did have a m all everyone has what do
you got mamal
[Music]
PA Pat
Paul yeah one of the
grandpas both my grandparents are dead
but like my granny's ex-husband that I
always claim to be my granddad is POA
he's POA but I did have a papy and a
papy yeah papy War overalls it just
makes sense about papy Election Day is
coming up on November 5th and there's a
website send the vote.org talk that
makes registering to vote very easy it's
a nonpartisan meaning they don't care
who you're voting for they just want to
ensure you can vote head over to send
the vote.org talk and they'll help you
sign up register and check if you're all
set you can also text talk to 33022 to
learn more that's t a l k33 022 see if I
was president we'd have no issue I'm
just not old enough that's the only
problem yeah but we'd have mandatory
smoke sessions we've talked about this
before 12:00 p.m. every day and then the
crime rate's going to drop you know
because everyone's asleep watching TV or
they're eating the only problem we're
going to face food shortage this is this
is a standup bit that was your first
standup bit and you you say if I was
president that gets a laugh I'm going to
have everyone of smoke breaks little
laugh
you can make a joke about be like not um
smoking crack that was that was my nanny
or whatever my mama that's my mama
that's my mom we don't recommend we're
smoking weed and then you go into and
then you end it with the food shortage
that's
hilarious that's your first bit babe we
got it I I'm trying to be funny I'm
being serious and that is what you're
you're that kind of person when you try
to be funny you'll throw yourself off
just be serious cuz you're a funny
person if we're talk talk about being
funny people I I saw the bit you done
about queefs can we talk about that for
a minute actually this my favorite bit
thank you for bringing it up I love that
how' you come up with that no it was she
actually FKS but she just blames it on
queef because what do you know smells
okay if this you blame it on the dog
obviously there's always a dog in the
room I don't know why moose did you do
this moose the what if there's not a dog
in the room if there's not dog oh I'm
sorry I was I was just referencing at
you but if we ever fart in room it's you
I'm sorry and I apologize for putting it
on you but that's what you look like you
would have a a smelly fart cuz we're
dainty women my thing so it was actually
me and my podcast host for giggly Squad
we were talking about queefing and how
it's messed up how guys will be like you
queefed and we were like stop saying I
queefed you queefed me like you're
pumping me with air like a pool toy like
you put it on to me I was just sitting
here like a basketball and like
yes I'm so tight that the air got
trapped and made a sound down but that's
not my fault that you didn't anticipate
that and then I was saying yeah what but
whenever I I'm gassy so like
occasionally you know you're trying to
push out orgasm and occasionally you
push out a little little fart you're
holding or you know what you will not
have to fart all day and the second you
start doing doggy you're like why do I
not have to fart and you gota like
clench your butthole you got to clench
it and you can't clench an orgasm it's a
whole thing so I say if you accidentally
fart you go I sorry I queefed and dudes
don't know what queefs are anyway so you
get away with it
like e did you
fart did you guys he that you smell that
girls Gaslight F like that's our gas
late like we will blame anyone else and
if he's like no I didn't it's like well
who else could it be not me exactly I'm
the one wor I'm like do you smell that
what the is that whole time it's my
I do have to say when I start
drinking beer and you know like you're
dancing and they're you're just shaking
the beer in your stomach and then
obviously I have like the worst beer
fart and it's never me it's always the
dude behind me I'm like what the that's
disgusting bro get this out
of here came to the bathroom right now
he needs to change his underwear yeah
but I also I'm not the I'm not the far
police like if I smell something I don't
try to like you know there people who
are like who done it who done it I never
do that cuz a lot of time it's me so I'm
not trying to be like the second it's
not me I don't want to come for other
people because I know how scary it is
when it is you we actually need an
answer from you we were talking about
this was it last night or this morning
I don't know what is it pissing oh
no when SC is it f what is it what is it
we need to know I it's 2024 and
scientists still haven't figured this
out no one gives a about women
they're like oh we don't care this we do
we we care I think well it's from the
pee hole right I don't know I don't I
have no idea think there's some pee but
it's not PE pee like it doesn't smell
like pee PE I think it's it's it's like
2%
milk 2% pee is a little like if you ever
get the urge to pee do you just squirt
do it you're like like what if it is
piss and it's like bright yellow what do
you do then smells like
asparagus it's through three wreath
right yeah so you know what you do I
just squirted in the bathroom before
this
PA I like how you put that and why
aren't you president that's what
I've been saying and no one's listening
to me well I'll be your running mate
I'll be your Vice I'll be your VP I'll
just be the hype girl on the back
shaking my ass dude you literally got
this and I'll be like we got City we got
country we're bringing the North and
South together right now bring red and
blue together to make purple today at
hakua it does make purple we couldn't
see your ass by the
way anyways I have a game
out for October it's called ghost or NW
okay all right so I'm going to ask you a
few questions and
say if you ghost him or you know you got
you got it okay I'm Pro ghost all
right call you baby nah no I like that
like that I like that I like that a lot
yeah I like that I thought you I thought
you didn't like baby I don't like baby
girl okay I feel like I like baby girl
that's a new one that's important yeah
baby girl means he's like baby girl did
you ever watch that movie it's like 365
days and it's like you did and he's like
baby girl that's what done it for me I
was like get get the out take your
and get out now I I couldn't stand
that calls you the wrong name in bed
ghost ghost that one actually I'd
probably beat his ass then ghost
him that's probably how that would go
also I love how little you are when you
say I'm a beat his ass like she she's
Nimble I could break you like well see I
don't fight fair I'm going to pick up
what I can find like a lamp or like a
table a microwave I'm fix it pop you in
the hand and then I'm going to Sprint
away after you're
unconscious I'm scared
that's that was some straight you need a
WWWE I think it be fun yeah but manager
put that in she's fighting jojoo okay
I'm excited I love you Jojo and okay
wait this is a good one you send him to
go pick up pads and he comes back with
adult
diapers I'm not go see him because
that's just a man I'm gonna say no
because Jamie asked us if we wanted
regular or if we were feeling sporty
today so oh yeah
hypocrite it is cuz like I don't know my
favorite is to ask him to get you um the
Super tampons or asking the difference
between a super tampon and a regular
tampon they never know that they'll
always be like one of them is like
powerful super uh exactly like the ultra
ones are like what does that mean like
is it the size it just means they don't
have sisters They Don't Care About Women
okay the next one's posting thirst traps
ghost if he's posting thirst traps ghost
yeah like why are you doing that like
when they're posting pictures in the
mirror with their show off and they're
like yeah I'm like get out who sent you
yeah I don't know if they're even
attracting girls at that point oh what
about long toenails no and no I I more
prefer no long fingernails because it
means if he's fingering you it's like
saw three saw three I ghosted a man once
because his toenail scratched me we were
going to sleep like after that i' never
talked to I remember that that was
probably very imature me exact same
reason no but it says a lot about him
he's not if he's not taking care of his
toes how's he going to take care of your
Jelly Bean do you have a Alter
Ego um yeah I think when I'm on stage
what's her name name
[Laughter]
um I think it's like um Hannah berer
Hannah ber that's the ultra ego's name
yeah that's my my diva monster name okay
Hannah berer because people be like is
it burner and I go ber she when I'm
famous on berer she's a man eater oh
Haley also has a who's your old you
go so we've recently established that I
also have another one we've figured this
one out the other night
Harriet we have Harley Harley's the bad
one that you want to beat with like a
chair or something she's really and
Harriet's just Good Vibes like you want
to be around Harriet Harriot is just a
peach then what is
haey we're still figuring that out and
that you'll see on the next podast
podcast of talk Tua when we delve a
little deeper into Haley
psyche Haley is actually experiment
seven like I I don't know I couldn't
tell you what Haley is Haley's an alien
I'm actually you just pull off your mask
and we like Adam Sandler alien's
actually like in my middle name haly's
vagina's name is Big Martha big Martha
name for your I'm obsessed with that
um Lotus Flower Bomb Lotus bom that is
the winner right there thank you it's
aot of help Chelsea name hers yeah how
about you come up with a name for mine
cuz she's trying to name mine
Doug does Doug not sound like a good
name no that just sounds dirty that's
not I think a Doug I think I like the
gremlin what about
mosquito
okay I like mosquito it grows on me you
want to see my little mosquito
what the
you could have a comedic
three-way with with two other
comedians
right who would it be I would say can I
pick can I do a four-way sure damn more
than wasn't enough Ali Wong Chelsea
Handler Whitney and
me okay fair enough that should be
entertaining as
he a Bard why this um I'm not going
to say Matt rif because Pooky will smack
me on the back of the neck with a wait
how are you guys doing we're good who
her and Matt RI for her and
boie um well I try not to talk about him
Pooky gets jealous uh sorry Pooky yeah
I'm not gonna say Matt R for this
because he will actually whoop my ass
he's very insecure about Matt R yeah I
mean there's only a pillow on my bed
oven but whatever
all right I'm still there now what's one
moving bed that makes a man go crazy oh
what's a moving man that makes moving
man a moving man that makes a b crazy oh
good
question
um I've heard everything you can think
of so don't be creative I'm trying to
make it cuz like you can't just say
doggy um you ever heard the cork
screw I said the same thing I said the
same thing you got to rotate you got to
spin on that dick rap for you know oh
when you're doing a I don't give hand
jobs I'm a grownup um yeah grow up you
can do it yourself at this point you do
it better than me I'm not also my
fingers are like literally Nubs I'm not
giving hand jobs um figure it out it
guys they want you to give an Oscar
performance about how about their dick
you know you've never seen a dick like
this but to get there it's fun to be
like like put in just like this is the
most insane experience ever happen and
it's also like manifesting like then you
start actually feeling like oh this is
actually great and then like it's all
mental so I think the best thing you
could do in bed is like be mentally
present like don't be thinking about
your taxes or thinking about that email
you didn't respond to like try to be
present in the moment with him and his
dick all right y'all now that we're a
month into the NFL season I can
confidently tell you one thing better
pick has me out here loving football For
the First Time and Forever when you got
a chance to win a thousand times your
money watch football it's impossible not
to love it I have no idea who's winning
the Super Bowl but I do know one thing
when you pull that crumply old dollar
bill out of your ass and put it into a
better pck lineup that is fun
download better right now make a lineup
and I dare you to tell me it doesn't
make your NFL Sundays a thousand times
more fun download better play better
pics so you're telling me I can't be
thinking about like something to eat
after no that's my biggest issue I'm
like Taco Bell sounds so good
it's like n no we've been no we've been
there but that's like the best sex is
when you literally like time stops you
have to be relaxed you have to be turned
on also you can you can um manifest
while you masturbate you heard of that
masturbation manifestation when you
orgasm if you think about something you
want it's like the most top Tier Energy
to put into the universe so you
go you just pop that thing I got you I
got you you go I want to call her D okay
so we to get some stones out and some
crystals and you could orgas them with a
stone in you that's some La though
I haven't done that I would wind up
sucking that thing up and it would be
gone you don't have to put in your mouth
I wasn't talking about my
mouth I wasn't talking about oh you got
flection
[Laughter]
coat well anyway if you have if you get
any Stones stuck in you I am not to
blame you wouldn't come fish it out with
a headlamp that was some white trash
you just
said well thank you Hannah for coming
and thank you Bolero for having us in
here y go like comment subscribe to talk
to with Haley Welch follow wherever you
get your podcast while you're watching
this take a picture and tag me and tell
me who you want next tag me and talk to
him and I'll be sure to repost I'm
really excited about my new Merchant if
you want some for yourself go to shop.
better. apppp and one more time shop.
better. apppp
I
[Music] |
1J6VVBoKtVk.txt | do you know that Jimmy Carter is set to
appear on the T Tua with Haley Welsh and
someone please tell me who Jimmy Carter
is but get a load of this okay she's
going to bump on that thing oh that's
going to be a new thing what if Matt R
came in and asked you to date him that's
my man that's going to that's going to
tape into the daddy issues oh Jesus so
what was your messiest breakup like it's
so messy that it's like humiliating like
the cops were involved
[Music]
I'm really excited about my new Merchant
if you want some for yourself go to
shop. better. apppp and one more time
shop. better doapp hello there and
welcome to episode three of talk
TOA I'm Haley and I'm Chelsea and our
special guest of the day come on in here
girl our girl Caitlyn bristo
how are you guys we're how are you heck
yeah you got your cup over there don't
you oh my gosh E I saw water first water
yeah e nobody fish have sex in that we
don't drink
that that's a good way to put it I
learned many things from working in a
restaurant and it's all the like cheesy
on liners that guys would use and
they're like oh I don't want that fish
have sex and that and I was like well
I'm going to recycle that one wait used
to work in a restaurant too yes 11 years
I worked in the restaurant Biz which is
how I came to have a love for one wine
cuz I had to teach servers about wine
knowledge so now I'm like you know it's
called research and development what
kind of restaurant did you work in it
was like I I can't compare it to
anything in America it was Canada and it
was basically like um like a high-end
chilies if you came to my table and you
like served me food I'd be hitting on
you the whole time you would yeah really
definitely would be were you like a
server or bartender um both I had to do
server bartender and then go into
management which I had no business doing
cuz I was probably just drinking wine
out of one of these fair enough we got
you a little gift wait you did we do I
was about to just tell you how proud I
am of you I'm so proud of you I love you
I get HED to a merch oh yeah you do [ __ ]
wait till you read the shirt you got to
read the shirt
okay I need to talk to a therapist well
I do that quite often actually do you
really oh my gosh I've got listen I've
I've got a the thank you well of course
I've got a therapist I've got a life
coach I've got a spiritual coach I've
got um I've got it all I am locked and
loaded with tools yet still I'm 39 and
not married what does a spiritual coach
do um oh we go through
visualizations we like go into our
higher
selves um it's I talk to my inner child
it's it's quite
ridiculous talk to your inner child yeah
you guys are still kids though that's
why you can't do it oh if I
saw I'd be like who the [ __ ] gave you
those bangs
[ __ ] bangs are always a bad idea yeah
I'm kind of myself what would you say to
your younger self if you could if you
could tell her one thing yeah what would
if I could tell my inner child one thing
I'd be like make dick jokes make dick
jokes we need a hat that says that yes
cuz I make those too I don't know why
it's not normalized like there's bigger
problems out in the world why are you
worried about me cracking a do a a do
yeah a dooke a dick joke there you go
you just made a new thing yeah that's a
new thing now do that's merch put it on
a t-shirt right now yeah do so you like
making dick jokes too don't you I do I'm
like I'll never forget I was I when I
was The Bachelorette so many years ago
I'll never forget this guy coming up to
me and he said honestly I think you're
just here to make up with dudes and make
fart jokes and I was like Fair I'd be
like who sent you how do you know that I
was like that's that's actually valid
point I love a fart joke so how did you
feel on The Bachelorette like you got
like so many men throwing themselves at
you it's the only time that you walk
into a room and just like 30 men stand
up and clap for you and I really took
that in like I was like be in the moment
Caitlyn W every time I walked into a
room they just stand up and clap for me
and I'd be like oh my God and then you
get a little too used to it yeah it's
okay but it was fun for like five
minutes and then I hate hurting people's
feelings so I was just constantly like
disappointing people that I actually I'm
still friends with a lot of the guys
though good though yeah you wouldn't go
back and do it again if you could um no
see I always say if I was on one dating
show I would do the bachelor The
Bachelorette like I couldn't do love
island or anything like that I don't
think I could do The Bachelorette
there's too many men and I'm like I
don't know I think I don't think I can
focus on so many men coming up to me
like get away from me you know there's
too many of you go on but this is why
you are you this is why you are you you
would make the most entertaining season
I feel like that franchise have has done
the same format for what like 35 years
we need to mix it up get you in there
who you're like you're like I don't like
affection yeah get away from me it' be
hilarious the guys would want you so
much more but I just I think I'm s what
about what about being on The Bachelor
like competing with com back you did
that didn't you competing against other
girls I was like the girl that was there
to make friends all the girls are like
I'm not here to make friends that's what
I would be like I have some of my best
friends out of it and I remember people
like getting like all the girls got
pretty attached to each other and when
they would go home people would start
crying and I would be like guys we're
here to get rid of people like this is a
good thing like you're still here but it
was interesting like a lot of um
estrogen in one room you would think it
would be really caddy I thought we were
going to have a boring season because we
all got along and then editing as a
beautiful thing and I watched it back
and I was like oh damn damn when did
that happen I feel like if I was on that
I'd be more concerned like about the
female friendships yeah like sure
there's men but I'm not here for you I'm
here for the women you know yeah you're
girls girl power I think we need more
girls girls we need more girls girls
people like to think I'm not a girls
girl but I really am deep down I just
make inappropriate jokes I think you're
a girls girl I really am we're top in a
pod we in a podcast that's kind of funny
yeah you probably made that joke before
but it's okay okay wait can we go back
to what you said you're dating somebody
do people know this uh well I wouldn't
say dating just yet is this Pooky is
Pooky shut the heck up that's my man no
it is that is my man officially what if
Matt re came in and asked you to date
him would he be your X-Men oh [ __ ]
you're putting me on the spot here I'm
sorry I love you Matt but I'm going have
to kick your ass to the curb I'm soling
my tell her about the plans um that he
had for you
Sunday no
I he you plans can I say it
yes it's not it's not bad it's not this
is I just talked about editing we can
edit this out later are you talking
about Mr Pinky no I'm not okay that's
what I thought you were going you just
brought it up Mr Pinky yeah that's what
I thought you were going with us I was
like Chelsea shut your mouth no no no no
so we were planning on introduce me to
Mr Pinky I want to know
no oh my God I can sit here guys so this
weekend we were going to go out of town
and he was like oh Dam dang I wish you
weren't going on town I was going to ask
you to be my girlfriend and take me on a
date and I was like supposed to say that
though sir you still have time I'm kind
of glad you did though cuz now I can
like prepare myself for it cuz I like oh
can I get back to you in about 3 days
you know but with Pooky I have so many
questions but with Pooky you will be
affectionate you cuz I know you don't
like affection it weirds me out still
cuz I'm not used to it but you're
obsessed with him oh yeah but you don't
want Mr Pinky in your
butt that's what I'm assuming it
I want to tell you who Mr Pinky is so
bad can you I can't I mean it's kind of
like you could I'm trying to it's say
penis no oh I'll tell you after I was
going to say that would be an
unfortunate
nickname okay you tell me later Jesus
Christ sorry we're already going there
but no he makes me feel like I can be
like a a girl I don't have to be like
you know like a I don't have to be tough
are you ever going to introduce him to
the world she's gatekeeping Pooky you
gatekeep him as long as you can you
think I should private relationships
till the end I'm one day I'm just going
to be pregnant and married and people be
like what that's yeah where'd he come
from be because honestly you have so
much going for you and you don't want
all the noise to be coming in and
focused on your relationship let that be
your little um I like to call it a um
what did my therapist call it oh an
inside treat an inside treat let him be
your inside treat you share so much with
everybody and you're so wonderful and
you've got this Talent of just being
your authentic self just hang on to that
and then have Pooky on the side and keep
that your little inside treat and then
everyone will be talking about it my
biggest thing I was like we should bring
him on a podcast and then I got to think
blow out his face and do the like warped
voice cuz I'm I'm a jealous person and
the first person I seen his DM talking
about you're hot I'm I'm going to have
to go to war this is another reason you
can't introduce him to the world if
you're jealous really really jealous do
you think do you think that's an age
thing cuz I was really jealous at your
age too did you get over it I did I
don't think I have a jealous bone in my
body now like I'm almost turned on if
somebody's flirting with the
guy yeah you belong on a psychiatric W
that is a fact yes but no okay maybe I'm
taking it too far but I just I'm like I
don't know I think that's because I have
eight
therapists maybe I should get eight
therapists and I won't be it's taking me
10 years to build up this confidence and
it's still lacking if I was to like see
another woman bat their eyes at him I'm
going to have to strangle her until she
like fall out the floor turning purple
no like and I'm like that with her too
like Men start flirting with her I'm
like go on somewhere get get back go get
go on get that's not how you been lately
well I like that one miss Chelsea what's
going on yeah you didn't have to bring
that up she's trying to set me up with
pooky's friend well that would be the
ideal situation I know best friends
dating best friends I feel like it's
forc kind of ain't nobody forcing
nothing you been his friend first
I like him he won me over he so I was an
[ __ ] to him and then he was an
[ __ ] back to me I was like okay I
like that he can take the heat I was
like yes yeah you want the give and take
kuki give and take yeah oh I am so
intrigued by this we click pretty good
you and Pooky yeah Oh I thought you were
talking about me I was like you do I'm
such a drama queen so we joke around we
have kind of like the same sense of
humor he told me to leave the other
night and I was like okay I got up and I
got every bit of my [ __ ] and walked out
to my car and I was like turning back I
was like I know he's going to come out
here and get me but you got all the way
to your car and he he still ain't he
running out committed to the bit he like
wait I knew what I was doing I just
wanted to see if You' come get me oh yes
you're I [ __ ] this I hope you always
have this I hope you guys are like 90 on
your porch just like still making jokes
being in love and maybe by then you'll
be open to intercourse you know that Tik
Tok it's like a people put like the old
people filter on yeah it's like I a
never seen you move like that you know
that's going to be all that will be that
already is you I'm such an old soul um
you really are I've always thought that
about you from knowing you for like a
week but does he look does he resemble
Matt R because a lot of people go after
their celebrity crushes feature wise
dark hair let be
little okay who's your celebrity
crush I feel like I don't have one I
feel like you do you like Raleigh green
I do like Raleigh green a oh I'm
interviewing him soon nuh yeah do you
want to come yeah okay I'll just come
there and stare at he's going to be on
my podcast next week you guys can come
two times I want to figure out your
celebrity crush you've never had like a
you've never had like a dream about a
celebrity where you're like that was too
real and it no oh have you so I actually
had a dream about Matt r a few weeks ago
and it like traumatized me a little bit
like I pushed the pillow Plum off my bed
for a few days I was like don't look at
me I was like brother get get on
somewhere you know why what so I had a
dream it was like after one of his shows
and it was like the hallway like I guess
where they get ready backstage and stuff
like that after one of his shows
everybody else already left besides like
the janitors and stuff they're cleaning
and then they all disappeared okay and
then the lights like got dimmed like
everything was going on like what's
going on here you know did Endless Love
come on no oh no this [ __ ] like had me
[ __ ] up I woke up sweating oh was like
bad yeah oh this man he come out and he
was like just give me a minute you know
I'll be right back I was like oh okay he
comes back and he's like looking at me
awful weird so I was like okay I need to
get away from him I start running from
him and hiding this closet and there's a
bunch of dead girls in this closet when
I get in it he's like killed you know
I'm like what the [ __ ] he opens the door
and finds me and I like Dart in between
his legs and run out and then I'm in a
corn field somehow and then he runs out
with a axe and starts like cutting on my
ankle and I was like what the [ __ ] and
it was so vivid too like I see my ankle
like getting split open the fact that
this was 3 weeks ago and you could can
tell me this it scares yes that's the
only like dream there's like a few
certain dreams I've ever had my whole
life I can remember but that it [ __ ]
me up I remember that's cuz you ate a
jar of pickles the night before I
probably did probably had Munchies or
something they say do you smoke
weed oh no she doesn't what I mean you
got to eat your Greenies smoke your
Greenies you
know you're just you got to get your GRE
in somehow she was like you know what
we're going to live longer and I was
like why she was like like we smoke our
greens and we eat them I was like yeah
but our brain's going to be like rotted
by the time we're old you know what I
see your point because you'll just be
chill and stress is the number one
factor in like illness so you're just
chilling it's
either you don't smoke weed and you go
see a the do you smoke weed I once in a
blue moon I that's why you see a
therapist that's why you see a therapist
which one though see multiple that's so
you are just the cutest well thank you
yeah sometimes I just you really you are
too thanks you're more of like the
silent Thunder like you're like sweet
and and more quiet and no that's what I
mean silent Thunder like she's really
she's going to like she'll throw down if
she ask you what what do you have to say
about that she's not really
quiet maybe like on cameras and stuff C
are different they make me nervous
sometimes they still make me nervous too
really yeah do you think you're going to
get used to it I think I've adjusted to
it a little bit better than I have yeah
since like the first episode we've done
yeah and I've also only talked to women
after that so oh men intimidate me
really they intimidate me pretty bad you
know you know how I get and we did this
on my podcast but I want to dig deeper
why do they intimidate you my daddy I'm
going to say oh God I a going to say
that everybody going watch this [ __ ]
well that's real if that's we don't have
to go there but that's real but you you
think like it's something I just don't
like talking to them
maybe I connect with women more I have
mommy issues like I think of you as like
a mother I'm like Mom a wait I love that
I used to be really insecure about my
age and like getting older and you just
said that and I realized that I've
evolved as a woman because I just took
that as a compliment good but I'm I'm I
will be your mother we need your secrets
like how do you look like that in your
39 well thank you I um you want me to
tell you yeah okay one I have severe
severe body dysmorphia So when you say
that I'm like you're just saying that to
make me feel good I don't look good I
wouldn't toot your horn if it didn't
deserve a good toot wow I'm I'm pretty
blunt like you had ugly shoes and
everybody else is like oh your shoes are
cute I keep my mouth shut I wouldn't lie
to you you know what I believe you thank
you for saying that um I I used to have
a really tough relationship with food
and my body I never like suffered this
is what I say I never had like an eating
disorder but I had had disordered eating
so I thought like don't don't like eat
this they count calories like you know
what I mean I did a lot of work around
it and now I'm like I eat so much and I
work out so hard and it I do it for
mentally over physically and my favorite
saying is um like work on the inside and
the outside will fall into place because
I think I've just done so much work on
myself mentally and physically to like
feel good and feel strong and when I was
I don't know 30 I think 30 was when I
picked somebody on The Bachelorette and
he was a personal trainer and I went uh
oh I got to watch my relationship with
my body like he was very active and very
like ripped and ate properly and I could
feel it like stirring things up for me
but I just you know called one of my
therapists and now I I do things to feel
good mentally instead of physically and
that side just falls into place I'm
going to need your workout routine um
okay well I'll give it to you I go to
berries twice a week Berry's boot camp
shout out give me free
classes I can't afford it just kidding
um I heavy heavy lift twice a week and
then I Pilates once a
week
okay so I'm I'm laughing because my arms
are so
pathetic and my spray tan is really
coming off right now I was oh look at it
can you zoom in on that I got blood work
done today my spray T our Pet's heads
are falling off look at this free T um
dude we got like the same arm yours is
bigger than mine though but but get a
load of this okay okay she's going to
bump on that thing oh that's going to be
a new thing
[ __ ] please don't zoom in on my terrible
spray tan I was just in the south of
France and I got the most aggressive
spray tan and now it's coming off and I
I saw that you were in a bikini picture
and I was scrolling I was like holy
[ __ ] [ __ ] I was like Wow squats I
said double tap did you I did did you
double tap my butt that's very nice seen
it I I I have learned to
um get past my body dysmorphia and just
like own it because I that to me I'm
like people could look at me and be like
that's silly but like it doesn't matter
if it's silly or not that's my brain
it's like it's like a chemical imbalance
and so I try and lean in sometimes but
like do you have you realized yet at
21 that going through phases of your
cycle have you learned about it yet
like mean your follicular phase I could
be pronouncing that so wrong a folicular
lual phase what that oh okay this is
where you got to this is where work with
your team on this schedule things in
your week where you're feeling like
you're thriving you're excited you have
energy take the week off when you're on
your period like schedule your life
around your phases of your period and
it's I'm not kidding it'll change your
life now I'm a little bit of a [ __ ]
when I'm on mom but she is concerning
when she's on her you the [ __ ] out of me
where were we at New York but the thing
is I don't like I'm not a [ __ ] to you I
just go silent I'm like and when she
does speak you're like yeah that's you
just got to understand her face the
first few days you know there's got to
be an app for this sure where friends
can share
their this sounds crazy to people and
I'm like I don't know what your
demographic is of your listeners are
they Young old all I think there's a
little bit of everything in there how
wonderful do you know how great this is
for you it's it's pretty cool oh
like what that is like um aism yeah that
is
halis I just Wing everything but but
that's relatable well thank you I I feel
like um the the least favorite people I
come across in life for the calculated
ones and I like when people are just
winging it and doing their best and
being themselves I'm going to make this
part really simple you only need eight
correct picks to win a thousand times
your money on better picks all NFL
season long you are eight correct picks
away on better picks from winning 1,000
times your money turn $1 into ,000 $10
to $10,000 or even1 to
$100,000 better picks offers the easiest
way to win a, times your money and this
is happening all NFL season long
download better play better pigs let's
have a nice and easy day winning up to a
thousand times your money I don't know
what it is but I connect energetically
okay this is where the spiritual coach
comes in I just connect like
energetically with certain people and I
literally feel connected to you to as
like I want to protect like you're just
special souls and U just mommy issues
easy on that well I've got them too do
you really look just sign the adoption
papers and adopt me look my inner child
no I'm just kidding I'm I'm just kid
but it's I will I'll adopt you will you
really but I get 10% of everything you
make that's okay as long as you prom to
make cookies with me I'll bake the [ __ ]
out of cookies with you I just want to
buy you a Mother's Day gift oh well wait
let's make this a thing okay I'll get
you one every year I don't like do you
do um do you and Pooky do like your
what's it called uh five love languages
do you know what they are I'm easing
into this whole relationship thing I've
had two boyfriends my whole life
definitely you're definitely not um like
um physical touch we know that do you
like sometimes it's okay he's the first
one that I've actually seen you be okay
with like touching you a like I'll look
over and Haley has her feet like sitting
on his lap and I'm like who the [ __ ] is
she yeah it's strange I'm telling you he
just puts me my little feminine ARA and
you knew him before all of this yeah is
he so proud of you that's going to oh
that's going to tap into the daddy
issues oh
Jesus this is why I need to take you
under my wing I'm I'll be your therapist
I'll be your mom I'll be your therapist
I'll be your dad I'll be your
relationship me all the time that's
amazing he's a little Peach good don't
expect like the bar is in hell for 21
year olds I feel like like they don't
know who they are how old he's older too
he's 24 so he's older she's he's
older oh Lord I I like like older for me
I I could get down with 40 plus I
understand but I'm not taking anything
younger than 40 these days I don't like
them young no cuz then you got to teach
them how to act and then everything else
like or you get them before they're
corrupted yeah I but yeah I like I like
somebody who's been through some [ __ ]
maybe someone who's divorced I like a
little trauma all yeah a little trauma
cuz like they'll know where I'm coming
from where you're coming from yeah they
understand certain stuff they's small te
trauma and there's big tea trauma and
we've all got something everybody got a
little what how could I put that
everybody's got a little junk in the
trunk you know skeletons in the claw I I
think those are two very different
things okay junk in the trunk is a great
way though to describe I don't have any
junk in the trunk let me junk in the
trunk and skeletons in the closet um
sure what are the five things you're
telling me about oh love languages yeah
what is that I bet everybody that's
listening right now is like please don't
talk about the five love languages
everybody beats the dead horse until
it's in its next life and then beats it
again with five love languages but it's
physical touch words of affirmation
gifts quality time and acts of service
well you didn't put food on
there that that's one of my biggest Love
Languages add it to the sixth you this
is why you're unique your love language
is food I mean most women I'm sure
there's some that are like hard to
please but like most of them I've met
they're really not hard to please all
you got to do is feed us and tell us
we're pretty that's it oh
well okay what's something that a man
can do for you you're just like a marry
me you know go to
therapy no that's a good one that is a
good one go to Y and
um okay and um don't take shirtless
selfies you don't like those I mean it
depends I don't want to date I can't do
that I'm literally like flexing my butt
cheeks on Instagram and then not being
like but don't do a shirtless photo I
don't I just want a guy who like uses
um uh social media in a way like I love
what you're doing because you're like
I'm me but I'm also I'm talking about
things that are important to me and I'm
just it's not too serious like it's it's
not that deep I'm not a serious person I
and that's but that's you I like if
somebody's serious I just want people to
be themselves and I want them to um just
not try and be somebody else fair enough
yeah fair enough that's a good way of
put it nobody's ever said that out loud
I don't think I've never heard it out
loud well you've only done three
podcasts
yeah maybe some episode 58 or something
that's I'm trying to think of how many
podcast episodes I've done and I i' I've
done it for eight years and I don't know
how many I'm at but so you're really
comfortable at it but my biggest
insecurity is how many times I repeat
myself cuz I'm like I don't remember
what I said 3 weeks ago we just watched
one we watched you were on the you up
Podcast oh Lord what was our question we
had for is is okay you were talking
about um when you breaking up with
someone and he lived with you yeah yes
yeah how do you how do you break up with
someone who lives with you your house
that was your house right oh yes um what
do you say do you say pack up your tube
socks and your gym bag and get out of my
house you know what do you say to that
it makes it a little easier though
because they don't have anything there
so they can just their clothes and get
the [ __ ] out I just was like Hey you hul
do you do brand
deals I'd like to make some money no I'm
just kidding I'm I'm joking everybody's
G to take that seriously but uh yeah no
I just somebody asked me the other day
two questions that stood out to me on my
q&as on Instagram the other day one was
um I've been with this guy for 5 years
how do I break up with him I know he's
not my person and I was like do not wait
any longer because it's so easy to put
it off and it just gets worse and it's
like do him a solid favor too it's not
just for you you're doing him a favor
whether he sees it in the moment or not
he will eventually he'll find the person
he's supposed to be with and he'll go oh
this is why this happened
that's what I think you should be a
therapist maybe a what they call him a
marriage counselor you'd be so
good I'd also give really terrible
advice sometime I'd be like a like a
6040 like 60% of the time I'd give good
advice and 40 I'd be like just kick his
ass to the cardb ju basically just don't
waste time you know yeah you're just
prolonging the inevitable and nobody has
time for that so what was your messiest
breakup like o I'm curious it's so messy
that it's like humiliating like the cops
were
involved would you did you hit him over
the head with a bottle nope there was no
no violence it was just me having an
epic meltdown no violence no girl you
got to tap in with that crazy [ __ ] you
got going on I'm not I mean I'm I'm
verbally a little bit crazy sometimes
not anymore understand not anymore look
you're growing I am I am an evolved
woman look at you go I'm so
proud but I honestly was I'm mortified
at the my messiest breakup was me having
a breakdown because I'd completely lost
myself to this person I just thought he
was my whole world and I didn't try and
do anything for myself I gave up
everything for him and his dreams and I
lost friendships and I was just like an
absolute I was 97 lbs in a shell of
myself and got addicted to Valium and I
was like having major issues and the
cops were called because I was having
such a bad meltdown that they thought
something bad was happening how old were
you too old to be having an epic was it
like racing or anything no I was I'm 39
and this was I think I was 26 um but
again too old to be having a childlike
temper tantrum which
also I went on wow this Wine's Wine's
kicking in I went on uh I went on meds
for for this and I realized holy [ __ ] I
actually have hormonal depression and
anxiety and I will ruin relationships um
around that time of the month um so I
I've got it under control thank God but
it was so messy and I was so humiliated
and I thought he would never leave me
and he and he left me that night and
then the next day I get a message on my
phone and he was like you got to you got
to move out and I was like what am I
going to do I had $5 in my bank account
I had no apartment I had no friends I
had no I had not gone to school for
anything no career like I had nothing I
had to move in with my parents and I was
like I am a [ __ ]
loser um and then I rebuilt my life back
up I'd have gave you a pet on the back
if IID have seen you thank you may I
read you a quote my phone's over there
it was something
like yes give me so the quote really
aligns with what I'm talk not the sticky
does the same thing it's okay has the
same thing as me every time octo buddies
okay I have little prints all over my
radio from
yours okay life doesn't end when you
have to tear it all down and start over
that's when better things fall into
place so let me tell you this if
anybody's hitting rock bottom or feeling
like they can't go on with anything this
is literally The Rock Bottom is when the
magic happens and when you can build
yourself back up and show yourself your
resilience and your strength we are not
meant to be happy people all the time
except I think you're happy all the time
oh no you're full of [ __ ] I'm bipolar
they can go anywhere we are literally
supposed to experience range of emotions
as human beings and people are always
like are you happy are you happy I'm
like depends on the day depends on the
time of the month depends on the hour
and we are just supposed to but when you
build yourself back up that's where the
confidence and resilience and character
is built and I just feel like everything
like when that happened to me for me I
literally thought my life was over and
then two years later I worked so hard on
myself I started going to therapy I got
a call from The Bachelor I became The
Bachelorette I won Dancing With the
Stars I started my own podcast I started
my own wine label and it was all things
that I had written on my vision board
when I was 23 a so just if anybody needs
a little see everything happens for a
reason I was just about to say that I
bet you look back and you laugh at it
now oh cuz you're like huh I'm way up
here now and I us to be down here yes I
I was there I I was way down there and
now I just feel like I'm where I where
I'm supposed to be you on top of the
world well I don't know about that but
patient people think manifesting is like
I'm just going to do this and it'll
happen for me tomorrow it's patience and
hard work and that's what you ladies are
doing and I'm really proud of you yeah
you're exactly where you're supposed to
be kiss your nose don't butter me up
like that I could kiss your nose I could
can I talk about this uh text message I
just got yes Haley when the hell did you
have Bobby Lee on the podcast what
this is funny hold on somebody text you
that it's not who is it that's Kim
J hey it was far away in
my you're done you're
done what's he doing in my podcast room
without me in it who does is that
photosop who does this editing yes it's
photo I don't know did you have him on
your podcast no I don't think do you
know who that is I cannot believe I just
said that how is she getting all these
guests my face says it on the
picture do you even know who I am I know
about you I don't know who he is who is
that what does he do
he's honestly I don't know I've just
seen him with Trump before that's all I
know about
him he's the leader of North Korea yeah
I knew he was something something big oh
and I actually done a zoom in North
Korea a few weeks weeks ago huh hey my
dogs are from South Korea so lot lot of
lot of stuff happening yeah oh wow that
was a moment that I'll never forget
thank you for that dude who photosho
that that does such a good job I am
unwell but you brought up Dancing with
the Stars yeah so nice Circle back a yes
let's Circle back from that right there
actually Circle back Queen you did it
anyhow like this I wish people talked
about my podcast like this this is
incredible incredible [ __ ] though
like if you read them you're like ouch
you need [ __ ] that's thank you for
the downloads [ __ ] yeah I think he
gives me character cuz now I'm just like
yes stick your tongue out stick Mr Pinky
out I love how you handle it though no
you're going to piss yourself when I
show
you okay can I read a couple yeah go
ahead somebody said I sold my house so I
could watch talk Tua on my 115 inch TV
wait if you sold your house then how you
going to have electricity up you're I'm
thinking too much this that was funny
I'll give you props there brother Logan
Turner 79 Logan Turner Logan Turner
you're a crafty
fellow not you know what that one was
fine do you have one they said born too
late to explore earth born too early to
explore the universe born in time to
explore Prime talk TOA that's I just got
brain R I did do you get that not really
no I don't I don't get that one either
do you know that Jimmy Carter is set to
appear on The Talk Tua with Haley Welch
can someone please tell me who Jimmy
Carter is I'm Canadian so no just
kidding I'm Canadian and I know who he
is he's who is he well he's 99 years old
I mean it's kind of
fair hook him up with Granny hook him up
with Granny wait he got money she won't
want him unless he's got money no I'm
I'm so serious if he thing if his foot
in the grave and Granny is always said
she does not want a man unless he's
loaded rich and he's old as dirt Jimmy
one foot in the grave and the other on a
banana pillow slips right in we found
her perfect match if you were to take
one guess name sound familiar if you
were to
take if you were to take one guess who
Jimmy Carter is just like what he does
99 years old big deal is he a porn star
what I don't know there's a little bit
of everything out in the world I don't
know 99-year-old porn star there is a
thing for everything I'm telling you
okay take one more who the hell is
paying to watch a 90 okay you are right
actually there was no internet let's see
what else does he do a big deal 99 years
old everyone in the world probably knows
him I don't know is he like the oldest
man
alive am I right
no wait do you know who he is me yeah
yeah oh he was the president oh that's
why I said false Canada doesn't have
presidents he wasn't the president of
Canada but nice s like false
that's I I love that you like found a
loophole there to be like but you guys
have Prime Ministers and I didn't know
that until here recently you remember
those girls in the bathroom at that bar
that were telling us that I was like
what wait that should be a book remember
those girls in the bathroom and then you
just say what they say to you in the
bathroom what else did they tell T
something else too I could tell they're
from Canada they're from uh did they
recognize you yeah they're really nice
well yeah they're
Canadian where were they from it's from
T McCrae calary yeah oh yeah that's my
celebrity crush right there t MC oh me
too actually I love I didn't a lie when
I seen that video she just come out with
I started questioning my sexuality you
know what I was like why do I want to
see her naked that's very valid what
about Fletcher who's that I my other
celebrity am I a lesbian my other
celebrity
crush I kind of want to see a picture oh
God I thought you'd never ask okay can
we actually get Jimmy Carter on the
podcast
though dude if you got that would be I
would die when was he
president I understand why you wouldn't
know that I can barely tell you who AB
Lincoln is what if she could be your
Pooky let me see Fletcher well then
she's going to have to compete with
Chelsea oh wow well if if granny can't
date Jimmy Carter could she be the
golden
Bachelorette where is she like you where
you're like I couldn't be The
Bachelorette or would she work it she
would she' make you funny thing have you
thought about this maybe been on the
bachor I can't no no no granny oh granny
yeah I don't know she kind of hates men
she's in her like I hate men I wonder
where you get it Granny's very
independent though yeah like granny got
that thing was she ever married she's
been married two times oh and her
ex-husband my Papa he was in the
backyard in his little cabin stop
they're friends though she does his
laundry for him you are a walking
television
show yeah or podcast whatever park trash
like I can't I no no no well my favorite
show from Canada is Trailer Park Boys
but can I just say like like I am so
excited for people to get to know you on
this podcast because it's like you see
one thing and then you go why did that
person get a platform and then you get
to know you and you go this girl
deserves a platform well thank you not
many people say that oh I mean it thank
you I mean it I'm not trying to you
might be my new
celebrity I'm working really hard for
this mom rooll yeah over time that's
okay I'll get you like a apron and we
can like wear matching ones you know
it's like Mom of the year like on your
apron we can go bake cookies and stuff
literally I'm I'm going to take this too
seriously though I am too I'll be
waiting for you on
Christmas the serious red we absolutely
will I'll buy you presents it'll be wine
but I'm okay with that I know you're
okay with that I'm so okay with that all
it's yours can't wait to take on this
new role wow my mom I'll be your I'll be
your aunt my aunt okay what do you guys
say aunt aunt I say Aunt Auntie okay
Auntie aun aune K yeah it's got a ring
to it a I like it a you guys oh I want
to like hold hands and sing
Kumbaya Kumbaya you don't know the song
Johny and them say
ma that that's not the same as just
ruined
it I tried what do they have Hanukkah
you don't I like I've heard a song about
Hanukkah it's probably Adam Sandler
probably
who wants $100,000 listen up better
picks is the only pick on fantasy app
where you can play for up to $100,000
that's right none of the other guys are
giving you this chance better picks is
the one and only baby do you want to
watch football all day and try to
predict how your favorite players will
do it and try to win up to $100,000 and
better picks is the place to do it no
experience playing pick and fantasy no
problem better picks is so easy even I'm
doing it and I just started watching
football go to the app store right now
and download better and give yourself a
chance to up to
$100,000 the Mets we got to talk about
it oh what did you ever say that with
the Mets what did you do with the Met oh
gosh you know what yeah that's when I
wanted to hug you oh when you threw it
the first pitch yeah so me and Chelsea
started out that day actually and we're
pretty excited to go through the first
pitch but we didn't know she's going to
be like catching it yet yeah so we were
like okay whatever yeah and then we get
there and they're like oh you know she's
going to catch your ball and I was like
oh that makes me feel even better
because I'm probably going to crack her
in the head with the ball that's exactly
how this is gonna go and but no never
cracked her in the head nothing she
called it she done pretty good she you C
it like the scariest part I was like
okay throwing it I'm not worried
about icon I wasn't prepared for that
either wow the whole team and everybody
else was like like so nice the whole day
and they had like this program for their
vet dogs did you see like anything about
it I never heard anything about it so I
was like huh we should like do some
awareness for that cuz I've never heard
anything about it more people should
then go donate to that it's a good cause
so we done like a big ordeal for that
donated to them had a really good day
whole team was nice the people we met
we're nice and then we leave and I see
everybody like posting stuff they're
like why the [ __ ] is she
here okay yeah but they're saying that
but the Mets have been on a winning
streak ever since you threw out the
first pitch yeah and Grimace is saying
he's the reason for the winning stre
what's the Grimace who the hell is
Grimace that's my question isn't he the
McDonald's guy oh like the shake like
theen no the grimaces the purple H I
know y I really don't know okay wait is
G is Grimace the mascot for the Mets he
was he's coming back oh I think I should
be the masot you should definitely be
the Mas good luck charm you're their
good luck charm what can I say but how
sad don't you just feel like here this
is my thought process because you're
literally bringing awareness to uh dog
rescue and like saving animals and
people will find whatever they want to
find wrong with what you're doing but
like really successful happy people
don't have time to bring other people
down so like let's just say a little
like tease and peas to the haters cuz
that's sad you know teas and peas at the
end of the day the way I've started
saying it everybody's going to have
something to say at the end of the day
great I might as well do whatever I want
to I feel like it says more about them
than it does you it does cuz I mean I
was only there to like raise awareness
for like the program they have going on
and I still got [ __ ] on for but like at
the end of the day I done it for the
dog at the end of the day always do it
for the dogs not the people I know you
have two rescue dogs two of them from
South Korea South Korea how'd you get
them over here they had to go on a
flight and I don't want to talk about it
because thinking of them under a plane
it was the only way to get them here I
can't um never again now they fly first
class but go on first class in case you
didn't know so I started a fund here
recently and it's called pause Across
America cuz I'm passionate about animals
not even just dogs it could be a guinea
pig if you got a guinea pig that's sick
I feel that but I feel like dogs need a
little more love they can't speak up for
their themselves they can't I'm going to
use what I got right now to do good with
it hell yeah and more people need to see
that you're doing that so that's I don't
think they care
no like at the end of the day the most
comments I've been reading they're like
why she got a platform well I'm doing
something good with mine why don't you
have one yeah that please just keep
reminding yourself that you're doing
good
the people man it's sad it's really sad
and you know what just any hate just
send them the
link do that set up a program that' be
good where if there's haters that say
like set up negative words in your
program I'll show you the software and
if they say these negative things it'll
just directly DM them a link to help
your funds how do we do that I'll set it
up for you by the way M's got you the
link for Haley's Foundation is going to
be in the description below amazing I'll
donate woohoo will you really of course
all right Madam I got one more question
for you can I put on my hat for this one
go for it what's one moving bed that
makes a man go crazy oh what is one move
in bed that I'm like thinking of all my
10 moves that I'm going through
okay you know what it is it's the cork
screw you guys know the cork
screw you got to elaborate on that all
the men in the room do you know the cork
screw
what take it he knows green shirt
knows the cork screw the quietest one
I've not heard a peep out of all day no
answer to this it's it's am I allowed to
say this yeah I mean it so a good
oldfashioned hand job don't
underestimate a good old-fashion hand
job that's not at all what I was
thinking and the cork screw
is so you hit the top top and go down to
the bottom that's brilliant where' you
come up with
that wa I'm 39 I bet your mom works
mysterious ways too doesn't it honestly
when you say like my brain goes one way
everybody else goes this way I'm like
samies like we're in the same boat we're
both over here and everybody else is
over there which is where I want to be
it's okay okay it's a fun s you're with
us too oh yeah okay you got a dirty hat
hey that hat looks good on you does I
was like she looks good in red I was
like she's going to have the red that
bikini I seen you in was red so I was
like well I'm gonna this is what I'm
wearing out tonight oh is it
thumbnail this just
kidding that is one for the book I can't
wait for Pooky to experience the cork
screw oh by the way Mr Pinky lives in
the sock drawer if you didn't know
[Music]
oh is that worse than a finger up the
ass like that's
okay that's necessary a woman with a
woman with needs you said that like the
M on hot right
now if you want more go like comment
subscribe to talk to with Haley Welch
follow wherever you get your podcast
while you're watching this take a
picture and tag me and tell me who you
want next tag me and talk TOA and I'll
be sure to repost
[Music] |
DRhiNWu0jF8.txt | I have big energy yeah okay never laid
eyes on a before don't do it I'm not do
you hot to actually yeah see it's not
just for the strip people all right
what's the craziest date you've ever
been on I spent like 60 Grand in one
weekend on this girl just to get laid
and it didn't work
[Music]
what hey y' welcome back to talk to a
better original download better play
better pic smash that subscribe button
so you get notified for every episode
and while you're at it leave me a
comment and share this episode with a
friend the dogs had the day off today
and I'm very upset about it but you can
still go and donate to my charity PA
Across America the link is in the
description below hello and welcome back
to talk t with Haley Welch and you know
we got Chelsea Bradford over here we
have JoJo sea what's up thank you for
having me well thank you for coming
whoever came up with this name also is
literally genius you're looking at her
thank you thank you yeah that's really
good it's really really good I think
somebody commented and she's like I like
that and I was like kind of growed on
me it was like the t-shirts if she don't
talk to I don't want to talk to her I
was like that's good that's good yeah
what was the other one you get me that
was a possible one yeah I mean talk to
it is good talk to it is good it's good
cuz I'm talking to it you know so you've
been on a whirlwind haven't you me yeah
always so what's like the latest thing
you've been on up too well this morning
I was in Atlanta that's been that was
fun um just there though for my my
girlfriend she was teaching there and
had a dinner there so I went to go
support her be with her um man what am I
what am I up to right now I'm prepping
for a movie right now um which is really
fun I A Jojo movie excuse me hold the
[ __ ] up I'm really excited about it f
for a movie I've got I've been in the
recording studio I've got got a couple
new songs I really really enjoy um
there's there's like 28 in my like back
pocket but there's like these three
right now that we just recorded that I'm
really stoked about um I'm doing this
big it's a big charity event Industry
dance Awards it's for the it's for the
dance community and the dance world but
it benefits dancers against cancer and
I'm choreographing the opening number
for it which has like 70 people in it so
it's it's a headache but in the best way
possible what's the movie going to be
about you're stuck Onie so excited um I
can't really talk too much about it but
I'll it's very deep it's very drama and
it is about two things I'll say this
it's about an experience that I've never
gotten to have which I'm excited about
and it's also about a horrific traumatic
experience that I did go through when I
was very very young and so I'm kind of
excited to tell that story on screen so
it's like I get something that I've been
through and something that I haven't
been through all at once this is going
to be fun I'm excited to watch and I get
to be gay in it so that's good there you
go I always get afraid that I'm going to
have to play a straight person I'm like
I can't do it you don't think you could
I mean if I had to I could but I think
if I had to kiss a man I would like lose
it yeah you're not missing anything I'm
not missing you're not missing anything
coming from you yeah you're not missing
much okay I mean I'll take it so I mean
you got to like worry about too much
tongue you know them spitting in your
mouth and slobbering they're [ __ ]
gross half them them don't even brush
their teeth e e yeah you're not missing
much but yet you like them yeah I do
don't I guess I'm nasty
[ __ ] that works all right let me live
your Mimosa she is not drinking orange
juice for anyone that was wondering that
is orange juice there's no way that's
only orange juice it's okay maybe
there's like a little extra in there too
sure maybe so I saw what was it called
that you just done and you had like a
little golden outfit oh yeah the um lady
gun the lady gun cover shoe yes I bet
that was fun wasn't it it so no actually
actually I have I for some reason photo
shoots are really tough for me I I'm I'm
I hate I hate like a hype up to myself
but I'm I'm good at photo shoots like I
can I can do the job but they're very
mentally a big big struggle for me in my
career and so the day always involves a
cutie little like ah I'm so inside my
brain right now um and it happened that
day and it was I ended up being fine I
got through the day and it was so worth
it cuz the pictures turned out so sick
um it was definitely something I've
never seen before like the Bulge dude
why the [ __ ] did you get that stone
bulge Stone bulge
is I seen it like two days ago and I was
like I oh she's got a dick no it was
very iconic though she doesn't we were
just given a little a little spice a
little little genderbend a little you
can be anything you want to be a little
you're damn right you know it's just
kind of SP spice it up a little it's
it's kind of like back in the day and
Harry Styles wore a dress obviously
wearing a bulge is a little different
than wearing just a dress but you stuck
out I think you should do more of that
though and I think it just kind of is
like one thing about me is I like to be
for the people that are different for
the people that don't fit in and for the
people who are just unafraid to take
risks and I feel like being that person
I have to go as far as I possibly can't
into the risk Zone you know what I mean
I have to explore the risk Zone to like
see what it's like how with like the
hate from it oh it's brutal um yeah I
get it's tough what' you say I get you
there yeah it's really hard people
people are just dicks hey Chelsea you
want to see a magic trick I'm going to
turn this dollar into a th nuh okay
watch you ready uh what are you doing
I'm making a lineup on better pcks duh
you can turn $1 into 1,000 simply by
making eight pics and done see we're
locked in for this Sunday let me show
you how to turn $1 into 1,000 download
better and play better pics I mean
there's there's multiple ways that I
deal with it and there's multiple ways
that I don't let it get to me and
there's multiple ways that it does get
to me yesterday for example what' you
say please share No it's it's it's
hysterical I I posted this dance video
two days ago and it blew up and people
loved it and it did really good and
people were very supportive of it and
it's kind of rare in my career these
days so I was like Wow posted it from a
different angle same same video from a
different angle horrific comments like I
I privated the video cuz I was like this
is so stupid I'm not letting them float
but literally the the video the first
angle I'll read you the top three
comments okay top three comments are in
school cuz those are my friends um I
don't think everyone realizes that the
cringe part was just a marketing tactic
before she's fire comment number one
this is the JoJo we asked for comment
number two this is the JoJo we like to
see number three JoJo eight moment sorry
but this eight don't lie y'all okay
these are all those comments I posted
the same exact video different
angle top three
comments hey I have okay this is this is
I don't know if this is somebody trying
to be offensive or funny but it's
definitely offensive and not funny at
all but hey I have autism too and it's
nice to see people spreading awareness
of people with our condition sending
hugs and they're saying that in like a a
dick tone not in like a funny tone you
know what I mean or or in like a like
actual like like if someone was to say
like hey I think it's cool that you're
spreading dyslexia [ __ ] yeah I have
dyslexia you know what I mean and but it
like sure um the spider on my floor at
3:00 a.m. this was shown to me against
my will um I would probably also scream
not because I liked it it was fine till
the end well that was something not
coming back like a boomerang the floor
is a victim the same video from a
different angle and so it's like that
makes no sense it made no sense I even
looked at your phone I'm nosy as [ __ ] I
apologize but it was definitely the same
video it was like one to the side and
then like one right in front of her no I
also understand being the nest person
ever I straight up told my girl and I
was like I will never go through your
phone cuzz I think something's wrong I
will go through your phone cuz I'm just
curious I'm nosy I don't know the hot
gossip is like yeah what are you
chatting with your mom about I'm just
curious I just want to know I literally
don't care you could literally say like
I am so over my girlfriend right now
yada yada Y and you can talk [ __ ] about
me and i' be like no I asked for it like
I don't think you're cheating on me I
don't think I'm not stalking you I just
genuinely am curious like what food did
you eat today and I know you took a
picture of it so I'm just going to go
look and like you get bored of your own
phone like I want to see something
different that's why I look at her Tik
Tok all the time like can I play on your
phone like you got any games that I
don't have literally H yeah but now
dealing with dealing with the [ __ ]
it's it's just the territory you know
what I mean and I've gotten to a point
in my life where I have a really good
group of people around me and my best
friends are my favorite people in the
world and I didn't have them a year ago
they came into my life in this hectic
year post Karma
in who I am now and for them to be in my
life they wouldn't be in my life if I
wasn't a good human you know what I mean
and so no matter what the world says I
have this bubble of people that I to
hold on to so so tightly and um yeah
wouldn't wouldn't trade for the world so
they they they kind of keep me keep me
on my toes keep you in line a little bit
they do they do they keep me stable they
keep me happy I just had this thing
happen at my house um the other day in
my backyard uh
I can talk about it cuz it makes a lot
more sense Happ your backyard yeah it
just makes a lot more sense basically
gunshots went off in my like my backyard
leads up to someone's front yard and in
their front yard and so it was very
scary I was very scared I was in a
shooting when I was a kid so it was very
like ah traumatizing but then I posted
on my close friends like oh my God like
I don't know what's going on right now
like I can't talk to anybody cuz I'm
just going to scare everybody but like
here's the video here's what just
happened this and every every single and
it's like 12 people on there but all 12
reached out and was like call me like
I'm here for you until like seeing that
I really had people like rally around me
when I really needed it like again it
was that same thing of like damn I
really have good people around me you
need more of that L like the negative
[ __ ] I guess yeah yeah they keep me they
keep me happy that's good they're good
they're good people I love I got a
little group like that do you I do it's
good keep them close then you got all
the haters and [ __ ] like what you got
they're still watching so at the end of
the day you win they still watching we
laughing all the way to the bank all the
way to the bank that's what I always say
say it again we're laughing all the way
over to the
bank I love it so like your car right
here yeah when are you going to take me
for r in it okay so that car I actually
don't have anymore but I have a
different one with my face on is your
face on it I have a different one with
my face dude how do you even like get
that how the hell do I get one you just
have it wrapped it's actually fairly
easy you any car wrap company can do it
um yeah that that was my car I actually
just gave that one to my cousin I took I
took the wrap off of it I definitely
took the wrap off of it I think we
should have left your face on it yeah
here you go um no we didn't want people
to egg it for her like lash at tires or
anything so we we we fixed it up um but
yeah so they my family has it now um but
yeah I have a Lamborghini now that has
my [ __ ] yeah look at you out here
driving a Lambo haly you got to get you
one of those I can barely Drive yeah
it's hle oh you don't drive not very
much I mean look out here driving is the
hardest thing to do I can't do it out
here yeah no it's not I can't drive on
the interet at home where it's not as
busy but out here I'm like oh I'm
getting brain [ __ ] looking at all yeah
know it's so bad it's so bad out here
she's like
a get us there yeah you do get us there
but do you drive are you from there no
no no I'm from Tennessee too but she can
drive on the interstate which I cannot
but now when she's driving my [ __ ] is
biting the seat while she's driving but
we always get to where we need to be how
long important part six or seven years
oh wow yeah so like high school yeah and
then her sister and then my other best
friend we're like a little friend group
cute that's my [ __ ] right there I don't
a podcast with them hi ladies this
episode is brought to you by manscape
the global leader in men's lifestyle
products if you're looking for the
perfect gift in your man's life well I
got something special for you every man
loves the feeling of a fresh Barber Shop
shave what if he could experience that
at home manscapes latest innovation the
chairman Pro Electric foil shaver the
tool that brings the luxury of a
professional shave right to his bathroom
rather he loves a clean smooth shave or
he likes to keep that rugged Shadow the
chairman Pro is designed for effortless
style what makes that shaver so good
you're never going to believe this like
it comes with two different
interchangeable blades it leaves Pooky
feel as smooth as a baby's butt okay
what else does it do so there's a
waterproof feature that doesn't make it
just easier to use it simplifies cleanup
too it even comes with the travel LW
it's even perfect for business trips or
weekend getaways with Pooky so head over
to manscape.com and use code Tua that's
t a for 20% off and free shipping so
how's your music going pretty solid um
no complaints I got new new [ __ ] I've
recorded a bunch of new ones um new
songs I'm very excited I kind of I kind
of like Cara was like my [ __ ] like that
was like a song that I wanted to have
the other round that I put
out I kind of got influenced to put out
by a lot of of different people and it
wasn't necessarily My Kryptonite and so
I have like taken my second to be like
no I want to release my kryptonite like
I want to find what my [ __ ] is and put
that together and do that so I've taken
the time now to do that and so carel was
not your [ __ ] Karma was my [ __ ] after
Karma though I released a couple more
songs and I love them don't get me wrong
but they're just not yeah with guilty
pleasure choose your fighter balance
baby and yesterday's tomorrow's today
and I really like the songs but they're
just not Karma and they're not the new
ones you know what I mean there there
was just some sort of like people around
me liked this one people around me like
that one and they don't really go
together and it kind of just we kind of
chucked them out and like hoped for the
best and I don't like to do stuff like
that you know I like to really put some
thought and effort behind it you had me
and my whole friend group when you come
out with Karma like walking around the
house just [ __ ] singing it so pchy it
like sticks in the back of your brain
and it out I'll take I was like I was
like get out do you write any of the
songs yourself so the song yesterday's
tomorrow's today I'm a writer on and the
song guilty pleasure I'm a writer on but
choose your fighter Karma and
um oh [ __ ] me I'm balance baby there it
is those three I did not write um but
then the ones that are coming out I'm a
writer on mostly all of them so what is
your guilty
pleasure my guilty pleasure probably my
sweet girlfriend so had that come to be
an item I was getting that look you gave
me a perfect to like swap yeah be my
guest no I I love her and I she's
literally my favorite thing to talk
about so please ask away anything you
want to know have you been together um
it's it's so cutie and baby just over
two months just over two months and
you're already like Head Over Heels I
mean Head Over Heels I'm the same
[ __ ] way you see Pooky out there oh
is you're the first person to actually
meet Pooky his name is Pooky we'll go
with Pooky we call him Pooky we call him
Pooky how long have you and Pooky been
together
I'm looking at you for an answer um
they've been accentuation for a long
time like a year maybe right how long
like a year it's definitely been longer
than that that's three years yeah three
three years yeah and you're official now
we might as well be there's like really
not a label on it like he isn't that why
you flew him out so it was like supposed
to be made official yesterday was that
the point let's not get into this
conversation Chelsea I'm just going to
look at you don't look at me this is all
you right there yeah yeah okay he hasn't
necessarily like asked but we're
together if that makesense yeah like you
would if like if you were to introduce
me to him You' be like oh this is my
boyfriend like you would but like you
you guys haven't really even though he
hasn't
asked yeah it's fine there there's
another reason leave [ __ ] men alone
stay away from him stay away don't worry
I'm I'm locked down um have you ever had
a boyfriend yeah I was uh so my first
kiss was with a boy and and after we
were together for like a cutie month
like talking but never official um and
then a couple months later I had a first
boyfriend his name was Mark he was
precious it was Mark Thomas was it it
was not Mark Thomas Mark Thomas I I was
like wait a [ __ ] minute Mark Thomas
did try it though for a while with me he
tried it for a very long time he kept
wanting to hang out and I was like yeah
let's go bulling he was like come on can
we cuddle and cuz it was at the time
like kids would cuddle that's so sick
and I was like or we could just go
bowling he was like have a bowling and
cuddle I was like what about laser tag
like how about laser tag and cuddle I
was like no clearly if a man wants to
ever text me like let's cuddle I'm going
to throw up like eight [ __ ] times
Honestly though I like if I didn't have
the best girlfriend in the whole wide
world and I was a single Pringle and I
hadn't found her yet and someone text me
to cuddle I'd be like be my [ __ ]
guest please where are we meeting like I
would love it so you're a cuddler you
big spoon or little
spoon big SP I like to be little I like
to be little I like to be baby and take
cuz I okay so my girlfriend explains it
really really well I have big dick
energy yeah all kind of [ __ ] like I do
like I walk into a room and it's like I
have I have it yeah yeah and it's it's
unable people have tried to be like no
you don't no I do like you got big dick
energy I will say thank you like it's
it's not a good thing it's not a bad
thing it's just a thing and but when it
comes like time and it's just like just
me I'm at home I have a switch
and it's like a little softy behind
closed doors no it's like my dick gets
soft and I'm just
like like it's like a light switch goes
off immediately and my girlfriend always
jokes she's like I never expected that
to happen she's like I thought you were
going to be that like like a hard ass
you know hard ass all the time yeah and
and and not
like like just like it's literally big
dick energy like she was like I didn't
expect that to go away at some point but
it does um so I'm definitely I'm
definitely baby spoon Vibe but I will be
big spoon like when we fall asleep we
fall asleep as me Big Spoon she cuddles
into me but if we're cuddling and just
watching a movie like get your arm
around me I'm nuzzling into you and I'm
like seven inches taller than her so
it's aw dude as soon as you like walked
out on the porch and I looked over and
saw you there I was like oh her dick is
big thank you thank you I pride myself
in it oh are you a top or bottom what do
you
think probably a top all right I'll take
are you so are you
both oh he's shaking his head so I I
have been a bottom for a very long time
I definitely definitely was like always
bottom like always never [ __ ] around
being top like always bottom but then in
my most recent and bestest relationship
ever I have dabbled into top land and
it's
fun but I I don't know I
I prefer being bottom yeah I'm
definitely like no I have to but now
you're comfortable being top but like I
so I'm it's I don't like being a top and
this isn't me toting my own horn this is
just me like straight up giving fact I'm
a really good top cuz I know what I like
as a bottom yeah so I can be a really
good top cuz I'm like oh I would want
this you know what I mean she got it so
I can I can be a good top and that's I
don't know I'm I'm I'm getting I'm so
excited for my question at the end it's
ridiculous oh my God I'm so scared no
you shouldn't be scared I'm so excited
for it can we jump so what's one moveing
bed that makes a woman go
crazy yeah oh my gosh be thinking about
that in the back of your head what's
one I
mean there there's a
lot what's your
favorite like what's my go like my like
well I answer my M was that right there
actually H uh yeah one can be directed
towards men and one can be directed
towards oh I've never slept with a man I
myself on that one no [ __ ] way never
slept with a man what I know me neither
yeah yeah I've never that's kind of cool
though yeah I've never touched a dick
I've never sucked a man I've never
hawked two wood TI you're not missing
much never needed to I feel like women
are like cleaner than men too though for
sure so we got like The Best of Both
Worlds
absolutely absolutely okay okay I can I
can say my thing I'm a big teaser I love
a good tease like what you doing you
biting on their ear what you doing yeah
just like teasing around like hey I know
exactly what you want but I'm not going
to give it to you I'm going to get
really really close to giving it to you
really close but I'm not going to give
it to you oh it's my favorite and it
makes the girls oh it makes I can't say
girls I can say girl I can say s I'm I
mean I head over heels for Miss DEA this
girl has what's her name DEA DEA that's
cute I've never heard how' did you guys
meet so we met because we were filming a
TV show together oh and she was she was
actually a contestant on the show and I
was a judge on the show um and so yeah
she did she did the show I did the show
um
we weren't we weren't allowed to talk on
the show so we weren't friends but the
first time that I ever spoke to her as
judge she was actually having a
showmance with somebody else on the show
and I was like so how are you and his
name is Anthony so I was like how are
you and Anthony and the first thing she
ever said to me was good you want to
know something funny and I was like yeah
of course like it's funny Vibes right
now it's the first time we ever spoke
she was like week one the producers who
asked me who I had a crush on and I said
you I was like I really thought you were
going to tell me okay I'm going to go so
I ran away whatever show ends and then
whatever cut to a few months later um
she's still in a relationship I actually
started a relationship with somebody
else from the show um didn't work out
her relationship didn't work out and
then we slowly kind of became friends
and I was like o this is dangerous
territory cuz like she said she liked me
I like I could see myself falling for
her she's a beautiful girl and obviously
during the show like I didn't let myself
have any thoughts towards
yeah keep my head down doing my job and
whatever but then we started to become
friends and one thing led to another and
yeah now she's my sweet sweet girlfriend
we started dating like two months after
the show um started airing so I feel
like if you'd like marry her you'd have
like a sick ass engagement like photo
shoot oh like like you do something like
no man has ever [ __ ] done and I would
always do it up like maybe you should do
like a what do they call those things a
hot air balloon yeah that could be good
that' be pretty [ __ ] hot air balloon oh
I can't wait I can't we got cutie
promise rings and like it made me be
like so it's just mine's just simple um
but they're both engraved so in the
engravement in mind says forever Crush
cuz she I always get scared she always
had like a fever crush on me like she's
tall and smells good but I was like
that's going to go away and so she we
put forever crush and mine's that way I
remember that it's never going away and
then hers says no running because she
always thinks that I'm going to just
wake up one day and like run yeah and
I'm not it's not going to so what do you
do to keep like the relationship alive
you like get her
flowers I'm a I'm very romantic I I I'm
a flower girl I'm a gift girl I'm like
I'm an overly thoughtful girl I never
would have guessed that either talk Tua
is brought to you by better piic better
piic is the only pick on fantasy where
you can play up to $100,000 maybe you
didn't hear me
$100,000 just from watching football and
predicting how your favorite players
will do it's super simple and fun and it
makes watching the NFL or watching your
partner watch the NFL that much more
more fun when you got a chance to win up
to $100,000 so download better play
better pics like I feel like you're who
you are cuz of your childhood too and
you were doing like dancing dance Dance
Moms I definitely had a different
childhood um but I kind of I kind of am
scared to like let my brain develop more
and get older cuz I'm like damn what am
I going to realize that I can't
understand yet about my childhood and I
think even when I have kids I'm going to
have some realization of like
oh I my childhood wasn't like this you
know what mean so I'm definitely afraid
of my brain getting more mentally mature
because of that reason but I had a great
childhood you know what I mean like I I
watched you [ __ ] thank you I'm honored
so are you still friends with any of the
girls me and colani are really good
friends yeah we've always been good
friends um love her then oddly um Gia is
like one of my best friends in the whole
world the girl who did the choreography
and of course Abby I'm still tight with
Abby I love watching her stuff she's the
best she's so fun she's so entertaining
I want to meet her you should I want
made her is she that intense off camera
or is it okay now that I'm older she's
not intense she's not scary I mean I
respect the [ __ ] out of her so I would
never do anything to make her get to the
scary point in life and she mind you who
you are yeah exactly she had a big
impact with that I feel like for sure I
mean look everything with my childhood
wasn't normal like I was working as an
18-year-old when I was nine and not even
18y old 20 something year old when I was
nine and it it like I was in charge of
people on a world tour when I was 15
like that's not normal a 15-year-old
isn't supposed to be 60 people's boss
you know what I mean and so it's I've
definitely I've definitely had a very
different childhood something that's
like a little wrong that happened when I
was a
kid there's like there's so much [ __ ]
but there's nothing you know what I mean
it's like there's not one big like ah
this happened to me which I'm lucky
about cuz I think a lot of child stars
that actually is the case where they're
like this happen and I'm [ __ ] up
because of this you know what I mean but
I I didn't really have that I had a good
family around me and I always had older
friends I feel like you had like growups
and everything you wanted to though for
sure I always I've always been really
mature even from before I was in the
industry like I I originally got pulled
out of school because I couldn't be with
kids my own age I always had friends
that were older than me I never was it's
a good thing though it's great I'll yeah
like mentors are a little bit M mentors
is that is that how you say wait you had
like a crazy childhood I had very [ __ ]
up childhood really yeah damn I'm a
granny baby what's that like like my
granny raised me a wait same as my
girlfriend yeah her grandma raised her
yeah yeah oh you better watch her then
you better watch her then it's coming
from me is your granny good my granny is
good as gold good she's awesome I
wouldn't trade that girl for
a I wouldn't trade her for a big taco
platter you would well I love food you
like to eat B look one thing that I
always tell my girlfriend is that maybe
it's not fair right and you see people
with a normal Mom and Dad right and you
want that you crave that that's normal
it was always really awkward on like
Mother's Day and then all my friends
like oh I can't hang out you know I got
to do something for mothers I'm like ah
well [ __ ] okay [ __ ] me then what am I
supposed to do today exactly I never had
to celebrate it yeah which now that I
look at it I'm glad she's the way she is
cuz I wouldn't be who I am without her
your life would be complet completely
different I feel like I'd be
a I don't even want to say normal girl
but
like I don't know I feel like I'd be
different if I did have a mom everything
would be different your food that you
like would be different your nails that
you get would be I mean everything would
be different the universe truly
does protect you in weird ways that we
as humans can't understand and it's so
hard but
you when thing that I've learned with
her is that she had a grandma that made
the choice to raise her and I think you
might have a similar situation where
your grandma didn't have to you know
what I mean h no she didn't have to and
so you have somebody that loves you like
even Beyond a mother or fatherly love
because they chose to be your mother you
know what I mean they chose to be she
made me appreciate things like a lot
more too though cuz like I had to work
for everything I had before all this
[ __ ] happened is she like a sweet granny
like a sweet old lady or is she like a
like young hip granny she she is sweet
don't throw her the she's definitely a
little country twangy granny yeah she
takes no [ __ ] off of anybody Apple
doesn't fall from from the tree yeah
you're exactly right y I'm so curious as
your story can you share any you don't
have to it's remember earlier when we
were like I'm just nosy like I'm just
it's less nose it's more like curious
cuz you seem I mean my dad he's he's
around but like not as much as he could
be I guess he's been around a whole lot
more this year but before that he was
always doing his own thing and which I
grew up like that so I find it like
strange when he'd like stay the night
with us and stuff like that I'm like
granny why does he stay the night with
us this is a girl household you know so
granny is his mom yes got it and then my
mom she's a drug addict she's been an
addict my whole life and
then my nana God bless that woman that
girl's a hoot she's like one of those
nanas that's like crazy you know like
there's UFOs in the scy that's that's my
Nana love love Nana though love Nana's a
hoot but eh I don't know Granny's raised
me it's your life and it's not normal
but it's your normal you know what I
mean it is my normal what the [ __ ] is
normal at this point you're damn right
nothing but you got a good granny that
took you in did her biggest I blame her
for having this accent too probably yeah
like if I would had like a m actually I
Blame You Stephanie [ __ ]
you is Stephanie your bile mom's name
yes yeah like if You' have just up and
raised me I wouldn't have an accent and
sound like towater hey we love the
towater accent yeah you wouldn't you
would not you literally would not have
this podcast tell her what we did to
that guy we got beside at the at the red
light oh there was like a billboard with
like the new toer movie and haly rolls
the window down and she's like look it's
me and he looked up and he was like oh
that does look just like
you was like [ __ ] you it was so funny I
like rolling down my window at people
they're like sto in traffic and talk I
got a new game for you to play then what
is it sing a song that they will
definitely know you have to look at the
person you have to assess the situation
you have to sing a song get them to sing
with you but the hard part is like it
has to be a song that you know they will
know easiest with old white people
saying Sweet Caroline they got you
oh or Don't Stop Believing by Journey
like you can you can really know your
crowd so fun what is that song off white
chicks we've been singing oh they making
my way
down yeah that's a good one that is such
a good one what are you going to be for
Halloween uh girlfriend and I are trying
to decide right now she wants to be
Waffle House workers I'm kind of down
okay um we we really don't know though
nobody has ever done that that I know up
I think you should do that just like
kind of kind of fun I don't know you're
looking at Joe Dirt and Kid Rock yep
literally that's our costumes fun yeah
you ever watch Jo
dirt you need to watch it I look just
like it when my hair is wet
all right like a mullet kind of I'm on
it I'll watch it oh Jojo I heard you had
an alter ego uh radical Rick radical
Rick that's what it was ratty Daddy I do
daddy the rickster the trickster so does
um radical Rick only come out when
you're like drunk like wasted yeah ratty
ratty so one thing that we learned about
me is I can slam alcohol like nobody's
business I can down it like it's like
like Fireball like it's bad like I my
tolerance is crazy on my 21st birthday
the night before we got like hammered at
midnight so I was technically 21 so we
got hammered and then the day of my
birthday we were drinking around the
world at Disneyland and okay so the for
context I did these videos in Disneyland
right but it I edited down from the 24
hours the 30 seconds of me being the
like most sloppy everyone that was there
with me though that day was like how are
you standing like I I drank everyone saw
me like take a sip of alcohol for the
video you didn't see me finish it though
everything I had that day I finished cuz
I was this the Disney it was the Disney
day yeah I remember seeing that finish
everything but then what happens is it's
my brother's birthday at midnight so my
birthday is on the 19th his is on the
20th so we have to Rally until his
birthday I'm on my feet all night long
didn't throw up I drank everything cuz I
was like I'm just going to throw it up
at night yeah didn't throw up anything
also had Mono so I didn't recognize
being hung over I just felt still sick
with mono like I everyone I went with um
my best friend G flip their like tour
crew came with us and so all of them are
like Ries and it's
like I was with people that can pounce
on my I was a tler Cameron Tyler can
pound some alcohol as with my brother he
can pound some alcohol and everyone was
like how are you okay right now like how
are you not sloppy how I used to be like
that like it was scary so now I stay
away before my birthday say this year
I've never got hung over like in my
entire life never been hung over I wake
up still drunk but I don't feel bad now
this past year since my birthday I can
wake up and I got like a little bitty
headache but the day after my birthday
oh my God it was awful was it oh H so
bad I stayed in my room with like the
curtains black I did not come out of my
bedroom till like 9:00 that night when I
come to your house like I got us wine
and pizza I was like alcohol keep it
away from me yeah no it's not the pocket
now I only drink when I'm on stage
watched something that says you like
Fireball I do I drink Fireball on stage
oh I love fuckb so I did it's so fun I
did a shot of Tios on stage and that was
fun got the crowd riled up then I was
like I want to do Fireball so I can get
the crowd to sing Fireball and so now I
get the crowd to sing Fireball and I
take a shot fun that is genius your
concerts do look like a lot of fun we
started to get tickets at one time do we
not okay that looks like fun okay
anytime y'all want to come I got you oh
we got to go we definitely got to go
never get a ticket that sounds like so
much fun it is fun I keep the concert
fun I keep the audience entertained I
make sure everyone's having a good time
it's does it not make you nervous being
on stage no it doesn't it sends me into
a spiral I don't know it's the feeling
of you would rather do literally
anything else in the world but you are
not going to you're going to do this
thing that you deathly terrified of but
you would rather do anything else it's
that feeling it is that feeling it is
that feeling like when I done Zach Brown
I was like oh my God or it's the feeling
of man I really hope something happens
right now so I don't have to do this I
feel like I tried to sit there and
manifest something happen they're like
oh actually what would happen if I just
like tripped down the stairs and broke
my arm and couldn't go I think we done
it for me Zack Brian wasn't so bad but
then we done Rock to South and evidently
there's like a video there's like oh
nobody clap for the hot Tua girl that
went on stage everybody I could see clap
for me so like
I are so stupid like ignorant they look
for anything I saw it was you that your
video was like people are saying I have
15 minutes of fame so I'm going to spend
all of it doing good I loved that video
good I feel like there's not enough of
it though no at all and you're you're
also doing something like thank you like
you you were kind of designed to have 15
minutes right like that's like the
pocket of the world that we live in but
you have made it into something I mean I
didn't ask for any of this [ __ ] and I've
went my whole life without anything that
I have now so why wouldn't I get back
right yeah that's cool I feel like it's
a good cause and like animals they can't
ask for it like hey I need help they
can't do that so like I wanted to go out
and do something that good you know and
maybe some homeless people too yeah that
don't chase me down the street with a
stick um and yell at me happen it's only
in La though it's definitely only here
cuz I've never had that kind of like
interaction um I have some rapid fire
questions for both of you to answer
rapid fire she's about to cook us no I'm
not these are actually interesting all
right what's the craziest date you've
ever been on oh my God I spent this is
so bad I spent like six Grand in one
weekend on this girl just to get laid
and it didn't
work
no you didn't know this yes you did it
was right after Dancing with the Stars
you know who it was
with said I'm St after Dancing with the
Stars like yeah I episode after the
season so it was right after me and my
best friend met I didn't realize that's
what I wanted but I literally was just
horny like I thought I was just trying
to have a girlfriend NOP I was just
horny how old were you okay 18 yeah
that's that yeah yeah it was a fetus
yeah do you know this person I mean I
was like halfway public with her but
like not really no but I Courtside
Lakers Backstage Disney Security First
Class
tickets did you end up getting laid nope
[ __ ] and you still didn't get [ __ ]
laid still didn't get laid were you not
pissed
um I was confused she became my
girlfriend as well she was like she was
like I don't if that's a little no she
was this was on day two she was like I
don't do things unless like someone's my
girlfriend as we're making out so I was
like want to be my girlfriend she said
yes thought I was going to get laid then
get she still didn't let you crack What
the fu then she told me that she loved
me and I for sure looked her right back
and I was like I love you
too we we've honestly we have laughed
about it now we have laughed about it
now she reached out she was she she was
trouble when when we broke up obviously
we were both just young and dumb and so
she reached out I was like hey looking
back sorry I was a big when we broke up
like we weren't even together I didn't
know right and I was like yeah you
really didn't but I feel like you have
like a [ __ ] boy ego I [ __ ] love it I
for sure I had a player phase I had a
player phase I did I don't anymore I'm
so out I'm so [ __ ] tied down to miss
Decay like I I am so head over heels for
this girl I would give anything for her
I would do anything for her it's dude I
better be invited to the wedding h of
course cuz I'm like yeah that's her she
used to be a player she used to be a
[ __ ] boy I got her I definitely from
like like the time I was 18 to 19 I was
for sure a little I thought that'd be so
much fun though it was it was I used to
play this game like if I slide into a
Mas lesbians DM like how long till
they'll hit me back like yeah Election
Day is coming up on November 5th and
there's a website send the vote.org talk
that makes registering to vote very easy
it's a nonpartisan meaning they don't
care who you're voting for they just
want to ensure you can vote head over to
send the vote.org talk and they'll help
you sign up register and check if you're
all set you can also text talk to three
3022 to learn more that's t a l k
33022 anyways you're a crazy date you
know I think I've maybe been on two or
three dates out of my life and I don't
think any of them were ever crazy Pooky
need to step up P has not took me on a
date Pooky needs to get his [ __ ]
together Pooky is getting rebuked of
Pooky term he's getting pooy for right
now he's getting thank you JoJo please
call him that please call him that take
her on a real date give her a real title
be a man exactly he did show up at my
house don't talk to him unless he does
that um actually we talked about this
the other night I don't know what it is
I don't know if it's like his beautiful
blue eyes he has and like the long
eyelash combo he intimidates the [ __ ]
out of me he always has like for years
since I've known him I went to do the HW
Tu the other night now if I'm [ __ ] up
out of my mind I can do it no problem
have no issue but the other night I
looked at him and I was like oh no I
went down to do it and that one ey
monster looked at me brother I tell you
what I about [ __ ] lost it I was like
nope nope and happening so like you just
couldn't I couldn't so
okaying from the most gay girl in the
entire world who has never laid eyes on
a dick before don't do it I'm not never
never sucked a dick before wouldn't even
know where to
begin I thought you could do it oh I I
could for sure I feel like you could do
it will I no JoJo with the pitball Jaws
but so you you go viral right off of
saying this
thing is it really like it's really a
thing you do yeah I mean I can do it if
I'm not intimidated but he intimidates
me and you just like now if I do not
give a [ __ ] about this dude and I'm just
in it for like you know the hit and run
you know I'm like oh no problem you know
and you just suck the dick and go
yeah when did this start like when were
you
like when's a good time to say this
started
he's okay sorry
Damie you're fine yeah he's
fineo like my ex-boyfriend he's actually
the one I don't even want to say this
out loud you know who I'm talking Bal
yeah yeah he's the one that he taught me
how to do it so you said spit on it not
even really I figured that out for
myself but like he taught me how to suck
a dick I was like what the [ __ ] what the
[ __ ] you want me to do I mean like this
thing's looking at me in my eye what am
I going to do with it you have to have a
partner that like kind of teach teaches
you what feels good so he taught you so
then at what point were you about to
suck a man off and you looked at him and
you
said I don't think I've ever said it out
loud you've never been like I don't
think I've ever said it out loud like HW
to you know I think you have I think I
definitely need to I think you have I
think you're
lying so like do you Haw to actually
yeah see it's not just for the St people
this is my point Pro very inclusive
sometimes a little a little spit can go
a long way yeah I agree I don't think I
make a verbal like with it but I like
you definitely should in the name of me
I kind of like let it like drool out of
my mouth I guess my girlfriend's going
to kill me
um um I think there's another Rapid Fire
coming is this one's a one of my
favorites actually so Haley's vagina is
named big Martha okay do you have a name
for yours I think we're about to okay
let's see I wish my girlfriend was on
the right now Frank Frank Frank the Tank
you got big Martha and Frank the
Tank can it be cuter can it be Frankie
the tank Frankie Frankie the tanky Frank
that works Frank the Tank Frank Chelsea
what we try to name yours Doug Doug
that's what you try to name why are all
these men's names yeah I don't know what
should we name them I mean I got big
Martha Biola I feel like I'm Sally Sally
Sally yeah like it's giving clean clean
Sally clean Sally nothing special but
like and she tried name him on Doug
that's that sounds
disgusting want to meet
Doug all
right CH I got another one for you um
let's do the celebrity crush one that is
a good question I've been dying to know
that mine is it tap McCrae no what so I
grew I grew up with Tate um we were
friends back when we were like [ __ ]
hell 10 or 11 um we danc not together at
the same Studio but on like convention
so we would be at the same conventions
together and she was like the mini best
dancer of the year and I knew all the
faculty so we were just kind of like
around each other by default um and yeah
she's very sweet girl definitely don't
have a crush on her I do [ __ ] she come
out with that new video it's okay I'm K
you know that one and I saw like her
boobs pressed against the window I
started questioning my sexuality I was
like H I want to see her naked like
really [ __ ] bad like I was on a spaz
about it for like days I was like I just
need to see I just need to see one time
I definitely didn't think that but I'm
sure you're not alone in thinking that
have you seen the video yeah she's the
thing about t is she's gorgeous she's
beautiful girl yeah
um okay celebrity questions are always
hard for me because I am said celebr
celebrity so having said celebrity crush
it's like not a stretch you know what I
mean it's like kind of let me start off
by saying my girlfriend she's she was on
a TV show that's the correct answer
growing up my celebrity crush were
always boys um zo Zack Efron Ross Lynch
Zack Efron probably Ross Lynch when I
was a kid yeah oh he's fine and F let me
just lay it in you want to know who mine
was Tyler Cameron putting a good word
for me right now literally just text
from him that's where I checked my phone
from I see him tomorrow I'm so excited
I'm jealous I'm coming with you was
there one girl who kicked off your
coming out or gay
Awakening um yeah my my first girlfriend
so she she was gay um she we were best
friends she' come out to me and then I
fell for her like no other but she hated
when her friends fell for her so I was
like ah I'm being said friend that's
doing this but it turns out she was
falling for me even harder than I was
falling for her and then she became my
first girlfriend of nine months um came
out with her she was my first
relationship real relationship she's the
one who I definitely had sweet puppy
love for we're still homies to the day
um just didn't work out we dated like
literally okay we dated twice but we
were together like six times um it's
great human being but yeah she
definitely was the one that made me be
like o was it tough when you come out uh
the people around me were great so not
really publicly yeah but I feel like at
the end of the day everybody's going to
have something to say of course so yep
this like May having [ __ ] podcast
everybody's got an issue with it you
still watching
exactly um do you have any wildest fan
interactions oh my God so
many um so many there's this one that
always stands out to me I was on this
cruise ship and cruise ship hallways are
this big and these two people came up to
me and they were like Star Struck and
they stood there and I was trying to get
through in the hallway and they just
kept like Crossing me standing there and
it's just random cutie little one
um when I found out that Miley Cyrus was
a fan of mine that's made me [ __ ] my
pants I would my [ __ ] my pants myself
when she knew my name I couldn't even
say her name back and I was like you're
literally my favorite human and I can't
think which you kind of had like the
switch like her is that what inspired
you to like yeah that's one thing I
really admire about her like every phase
she's had that she's went through like
you know Hannah Montana then like she
went a little crazy cut her hair and now
she's like back to like her wholesome
self I love her I never once stopped
liking her I was like I [ __ ] love you
you do you sister thing I do inspired by
her Miley like we can't stop that's what
that kind of like reminds me of you you
had your haircut too didn't you at one
point yeah because of her there you go
yep I want to show you cuz she hasn't
seen it either I don't know oh wait she
on SNL last time you were evidently hell
yeah that's it well it was someone
impersonating her
was it Chloe I feel like Chloe could
pull that off he was he made such a big
honor that really is such a big honor oh
my God it's sometimes hard cuz you're
like are they making fun of me that's a
[ __ ] honor I mean I get that a lot
like the making fun of me thing yeah no
SNL doing it next level cuz the thing is
with SNL is it's they think every single
person in America knows who you are and
so that's why they can do that [ __ ] yeah
big big big honor have they done you
yeah they did a full Karma skip back in
when Karma came out oh my gosh yeah that
but [ __ ] honor were you're like so
the same girl that did you that's who I
was like did Chloe play it cuz CH chlo's
the blond one you know what I mean and
so she plays they've done a couple of
Jojo things but when Karma did they did
like a six minute me being interviewed
on their new segment as the karma beast
and it was I mean it's again it's an
honor had either of you watched SNL at
all before being on the show CU you guys
are young I barely I'm I'm in my 30s and
I barely I barely watched it growing up
I mean I I've known it you know what I
mean like I know about it but not like
when I texted you last night saying
you're on SNL did you know what I was
talking about I didn't even see where
you texting me I was in I ain't going to
lie I was hot as [ __ ] watching Netflix I
was minding my business you smoke me I
have do you like it no what do you
trip no I just really like to be in
control and my life is so
unpredictable and if I'm ever like like
needed or something happens and I'm high
and I can't leave or help or fix it or
whatever I would just I hate it that's a
good way to put it maybe I should think
like that yeah it's just like being
sober I'm too I'm too much of a like
helpful mhm person that like I can't you
probably go to therapy I saw a podcast
you done and you were like you only
drunk like four times yeah Power to you
my brother I don't like being
sober you don't like being sober I mean
I like being sober some times other
times I'm like I need a drink I need a
hit you know Chuck that [ __ ] up you
don't Vape either do you no don't ever
pick it up I have I my vocal cords are
[ __ ] up so I have one vocal cord that
is completely ruptured don't know what
it means but basically one vocal cord
works so how normal people have two
they're both white I have one that is
white and one that is bright red and so
I can't [ __ ] up my lungs there are
because my cords already [ __ ] up don't
do it y you're going to get halfway up
them out and be like yeah does that not
like affect you like singing no really
bad yeah but hey you're doing it
though hey I will take over and
SN okay JoJo what's your biggest turn
on better yet before I ask this question
what is your real [ __ ] name cuz I
Wikipedia it and I'm not very sure what
it is Joel Joel okay there's like five
or 10 different ones and I was like what
yeah Joel Joon C was my real name Jo my
biggest turn on is
just like
like
literally start making out with me like
just anytime any place I'm I'm like a do
it at the right time right place type of
girl but like I always want it like it I
I fall when I'm falling for and I I want
it when it's wanted you know what I mean
and so like with my girlfriend like
literally I could be like uploading
Snapchats and she could like get on top
of me and start making it out and
instantly I will be like I mean get like
a
boner like lady boner yeah exactly [ __ ]
yeah know somebody else has one of those
oh that's actually what my ick list is
called Lady B it's like ladyboner turn
offs Val it's like my ick list what are
your men icks I only have one I have two
icks for men for men for men okay women
I have no ex long toenails sicken me
disgusting um I have
plenty I have two for men peeling an
orange what picture a man peeling an
orange
orange you got [ __ ] no yeah I never
thought about that do you have any eggs
for girls no no okay just me okay
basically we're targeting men
um like ending a jump rope whether it's
getting stuck tripping stopping
something with a jump rope what if
you're good at jump rope as a guy at
some point you have to end them
but so if you saw a guy doing like the
spins and like the crossover
and you be as soon as stop second he
ends it's like why the [ __ ] did you stop
interesting like I think that's out I
love those I never thought that let me
see I'll feeling out a jump rope and
peeling oh oh I'm sorry about peeling an
orange if they're peeling it for like
their wife or their kid [ __ ] adorable
but it's peeling an orange for
themselves oh yeah it's like cut it up
pick a different fruit I don't
know thought about that one so there was
this guy damn fellas we oranges anymore
I guess it's over I don't think I've
told this sick yet so there was this guy
we hung out with like when this first
happened and like it was like a a
friendship Vibe well at least my side it
was but like he's how can I say this
without like calling him out he's
getting into country music and stuff
like that this [ __ ] was like
singing in my ear and I was like can you
stop when JoJo thank you for coming ah
thank you for having me
woohoo word up go like comment subscribe
to talk to with Haley Welch follow
wherever you get your podcast while
you're watching this take a picture and
tag me and tell me who you want next tag
me and talk TOA and I'll be sure to
repost I'm really excited about my new
merch and if you want some for yourself
go to shop. better. apppp and one more
time shop. better do app |
8kGRtHafKJA.txt | "I saw something one day it was like The\nSimpsons predicted me and I was like\nokay I I was on The (...TRUNCATED) |
raFX6zoKH44.txt | "\nCould not retrieve a transcript for the video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raFX6zoKH44! This i(...TRUNCATED) |
w9sSw3oIhO8.txt | "what is she say uhoh Here Comes granny\nit was on the radio on the radio granny\nlisten to what I'm(...TRUNCATED) |
smpbjV1uIt4.txt | "if I was to walk upstairs and see like a\ngoing on I'd be like picture this Horror\nStory you're li(...TRUNCATED) |
nb__56mzgKw.txt | "I kind of like getting called white\ntrash I too I cuz it means we don't\nreally give a first time (...TRUNCATED) |
bAN3KmTSy2Q.txt | "come on Haley it's not that bad all\nright it's time to get out of the bed\nand quit rotting Haley (...TRUNCATED) |
Oy9SkqUDCl4.txt | "what's the craziest thing you've seen\nher do I went to a mental hospital\ninstead of rehab I think(...TRUNCATED) |
End of preview. Expand
in Dataset Viewer.
YAML Metadata
Warning:
empty or missing yaml metadata in repo card
(https://huggingface.co/docs/hub/datasets-cards)
Talk Tuah 1
This file is the dataset containing every Talk Tuah podcast transcript. Talk-Tuah-1 is an 80 million parameter GPT trained on all of Hailey Welch's inspirational podcast 'Talk Tuah'. This SOTA frontier model is trained on 13 hours of 'Talk Tuah'. The rationale was the discourse in the 'Talk Tuah' podcast is the most enlightened media that any human has created. Therefore, it should outperform any other LLM on any benchmark. With sufficient training and additional compute – Talk-Tuah-1 can outperform OpenAI and Anthropic's flagship models - o3 and sonnet. The architecture was adapted from Andrej Karpathy's nanogpt.
- Downloads last month
- 6