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Okay, so you probably never listen to this. I don't know. But I really just want to say well done. You do amazing work. Your content is a great guy. See, you're doing well. I'm, um, impressed. I enjoy your work so much. Please, please keep serving us this hotness. I mean, like, life can be so bad when there's your YouTube channel. Thank you so much. Have a wonderful day. I don't know. | Yeah.
I'm done. | I'm, uh.
Are you done? | No.
So what are you gonna do to redeem yourself? | I'll tell you a knock, knock joke.
Okay. Tell me a knock, knock joke. | A knock knock.
Who's that? | Boo.
It is. | It is taken.
I get it. | No, I was gonna say Buhari is coming to take you all your money.
Has been a bad boy. | Has been a bad boy. Yeah, that was good.
Can you cook anything? | I cook so much.
Don't say eggs. Don't say indomie. Continue. Don't say fried yam. Don't say fried plantain. Continue. | They're killing me. Um, I mean, yeah, man, you got me. It's like, oh, my Amala is really good, though.
Oh, yeah. Me from Ibadan, So if your Amala wasn't good, they would have to, you know, denounce you as the son of the state. | They would have to take my citizenship.
What's your favorite thing about being from Ibadan? | Honestly? Leaving Lagos a lot and just going there. Just going there. Sometimes I don't even know I'm going to do that. I'm just like, I'm leaving Lagos.
Vibes. | Yeah. I'm traveling.
What's your favorite thing to do there? | Um, eat Amala. Uh, watch dstv. I think I like DSTV because, like, I don't like being in control. So Netflix and all of that. You have to, like, kind of make choices. Yeah. This TV is just like, oh, yeah. Watching Police Academy 2 today. And I'm like, yeah, I am. You know, that's why I like the stv.
What's a random mantra you live by? | I'll try anything twice. I'm seeing all these empty plates. No food.
You're hungry. | I'm always hungry, man. Look at me.
By who? | You took the seat just now.
There's no food in your house. | I'm six five. It's always. I'm just never. There's never enough food.
You just go around saying, I'm six five. | Six five. I need to eat. I'm six five. Can I use the bathroom?
When do you feel more sexy? | When I'm six five.
So every time. | All the time.
Just wake up. | Who's that? Who's that?
Who's all the sexiness? | Wow. God. Wow. God really took his time, didn't he? All right. Just go. Yeah. But no, I think my favorite trait about myself is how modest I am. And, um. Uh. Did I say 6 5?
Yeah, you did. | Okay. All right.
What do you think is your most attractive future? | My inability to be awkward. Because I'm. I'm awkward all the time. So if you're like. It's just, like, in a constant state of awkwardness. So it just never really gets you when things are really awkward and people are like, oh, I'm cringy. I'm, um, done. I was like, this is amazing. I'm. I like to live in the moment of. Cherish it as you should relish it as you should embellish it. Sorry. No, I'm done. Yeah.
Are you sure? Garnish it. | Garnish tannish, vanish it. M. So many issues. Are you trying to have a stair contest?
No. I was going to ask you something. We can have a stair contest. | All right, let's go. Arise, uh, o compatriots, Nigeria's call Obey to serve our fatherland with love and strength, at peace with loyalty and, um, faithfulness. We tend to be away.
Thanks for that. Tmt. | Hi, how are you?
Who would play you in a movie about your life? Nollywood and Hollywood. | Nollywood with J. Mike, man.
100%. | 100%.
I just want people to give me that answer because. | Has no one said Jim Ike?
No, someone has, but only one person. And you. And I'm just like, jim Ike is the only answer. | He's a method actor.
Hollywood Jim Ike is phenomenal. | I would want Melissa McCarthy.
I love that. | Yeah. She's, like, out of the box.
She can do anything. I see it. | Yeah, I see it. And we get.
She's also six five, so. | Yes. And we get angry the same way. We just, like, start doing, like, wild, wildly inappropriate tantrums, and we just see the dumbest shit to people who are upset. So I feel like she's me. I am.
And you or her. | Yeah.
Give me a fond memory you have, um, from growing up. | Um, a fond memory or when I was a kid. A fun memory. Oh, yeah. I mean, I can tell you about the time I met Bill Clinton.
Welcome to the show. | Thank you for having me. Welcome to the show.
Okay, tell us. | But I don't want. I don't want to, like, make people feel like I'm not relatable. Okay. So when I was a kid, I used to climb trees a lot. And one time I climbed the tree I couldn't get down, and my dad was just like, jump. And I was like, I'm not jumping. He was like, jump. So I just jumped. And then I just landed and I was like, oh, my God. I can. Can do anything. And I've just carried that attitude with me moving forward in life. Jump. Jumping from trees, jumping into DMs.
When was the last time jumping into DMs? What's the wildest DM you sent? | I sent saweedie an ice emoji. DM when she broke up with Quavo. I. I did.
You've never DM'd me? I don't know. | Never dated Quavo. You never dated Qu. Date quo. And then we can talk, but also be 60 plus.
But also, you're on a date with me. So what does all this mean? You're confusing me. Are you someone that plays games a lot? | No, I don't play games twice.
Any mixed signals? | I literally just walked in here for free food, and I just saw you set and I was like, you know what? I want to sit down.
But I asked you if the seat is taken, and you told me it's mine. | It's yours. You know, cuz I don't. I don't have any clouds. I just walked in here. I'm like, trying to figure myself out. I'm not going to deny you a seat. Next thing, people are like, why did you tell her not to sit down there? Who is that guy? Investigate him. And then, you know, I'm out.
If we investigate you, what will we find? | Um, it depends on if I know I'm being investigated.
You don't know. | So, like, as we're here, someone's, like, checking my browser history?
I don't know they're checking. They're just investigating in general. | Okay, well, as long as they don't check my browser history, it's fine.
Where do we find your browser history? | I'm not going to tell you that.
Have fans on the show. They said have fans. | Yeah.
Why? | I don't know. It's just like. It's not for public consumption.
Okay. | Yeah.
What's the first thing you notice in someone of the opposite sex? | Um, their forehead.
Why? | Because fine girls have big foreheads. Five heads. As they're commonly known as the bigger before. If she can do this and her hand doesn't cover the forehead.
Damn. So I'm not fine. | You don't have the five head. You're still pretty. You do your thing. I see for someone younger than 60, you do quite well for yourself.
Thank you. What are your thoughts on Mommy Jill? | Um, she's a spiritual leader. And, um, honestly, she's done so much for the Dubai tourism industry.
Is she in Dubai? | She went to Dubai.
Oh, she went to Dubai. Wait, what? | I think, yeah, there's a video out. You should see it. It's really good. She's just, like. She's exploring the whole city. Obviously. She starts from her bedroom, and, uh, she's talking about how she's in the bathroom. She's in the bathroom and she's tied the wrapper underneath. I'm not. I would never lie about Mommy Giovanni. I would never lie about money to you.
If you were to pull a Davido and pretty much ask for money on Instagram, um, how much do you think you'd raise? | I would end up owing people money. People would be like, yo, you didn't pay me for that last thing I did for you. All my debtors would come out, so it just wouldn't be worth it, would it? Yeah. Yeah. I would start the video fully clothed, and by the next day, while I'm still streaming and making Instagram stories, I'll be naked.
Why? | Because people would literally take the shirt off my back. That was such a good setup. Give me five. Okay. I'll just.
I love you guys. | I'm a fan of TMT is no.
Maybe I'll just eat pasta. Oh, yeah, sure. I apologize. I know you're from bad. It's only Amala that you like. | Okay. So.
Okay. | I have to use the fork and a knife.
Not necessarily. You can use whatever you like. | Okay. Because we use chopsticks in Ibada.
Really? | Yeah.
To eat what? Amala. | Amala. Ah, Sushi. Amala.
If it could be anywhere in the world right now, country wise country, wise country, um, where would you. Where would you be? | Um, I think Burkina Faso. Because, you know, could be. This is a really interesting time in their history, so it's just nice to watch all of that unfold.
You just have a death wish? Pretty much. | I don't want to die. Um, but I want to, like, be so close to dying that, like, it makes life worth it.
When was the last time you felt embarrassed? | Um, today.
Today. What? When? At what point? | No, not here. Just earlier in the day.
I don't make you nervous at all? | No.
Reflection of you guys. But. | He is, though, isn't he?
Why? You're nice people need to stop saying that. Like, last season I was weak. This year I'm nice. | Who called you weekend last season?
Everybody. The Internet. I'm sorry, M. I'm happy that you see the real me. | Yeah, we're both, you know, comedy people, so we get it. I get you.
Oh, do you want to tell me a joke since you're a comedy person? | Um, Nigeria.
That's a great joke. | Comedy.
If you weren't doing what you're currently doing right now, work wise, what would. | You be doing workwise? Um, if I wasn't doing this, I would. Hundred percent.
Oh, this Waiting for what Date. | I just go on days, man.
Fair enough. | So I get my bread and butter. Literally now if I wasn't doing this, the stuff I'm doing now, I probably like, um, just like steal stuff. But like, not in a criminal.
I don't believe that. Yeah, exactly. | Not in a criminal way. Just like in a, you know, like a non criminal way of.
How is. What's a non criminal way to steal stuff? | Have you ever heard of Elvis store? Rock and roll?
It was. I mean, I find that criminal. | Yeah, I mean it's, you know, it's all technically criminal.
No, he's not. | I'm. You guys.
Yeah, I get what you mean. | So like just IP appropriation, constantly just flipping ip, you know. You know these, um, like Eastern European companies. So they will find like an app that works in America, like Uber and they'll come to nig and name is something like Colt. I don't know. That's just something that came to my head. So something like that. I'll just steal IP from like the west or China and replicate it in Nigeria. That would be a whole thing. That's like business. That's business. I'll be a businessman. So answer your question. What was the question?
What are you most excited for this year? | More fresh. All songs. I need, I need that my veins. I need that I need. Um. I guess I turned 30 this year.
You turned or you turned? | I turned. June, baby.
Oh, yeah, June. | June.
Also June. When in June are you 21st. Okay, I'm June 2nd. | So like imagine it's 7pm Just wound down from work, falling asleep to an episode of who Wants to Be a Millionaire? That's one often does. And you get a call from your friend whose show you've been asking to be on for like a year and a half and then she's like, be on my show. That's how I got here. Hashtag something.
One of friends. I don't know this man. | We are. We're Friends. We're not friends or we're friends. Her birthday is 2nd June.
Look at Teddy be. Has anybody told you that? | Thank you, Super Ted.
Super what? | Ted.
Super Ted. Yeah. | Uh, everyone watch Super Ted.
I. I know you're talking. | You're a Super Ted head, aren't you?
All right. You claim to be a fan of the show. | I am. Um, I've seen every episode.
No. | Yeah, you know that. Yeah.
I don't know what super. | Like, I'm super. I've seen all the episodes of Super Ted.
I actually thought you meant Ted the movie. And now I feel com. | Oh, that's good too. What's your favorite TV show when you were a kid?
Struggle with favorites, but I really liked Codename Kids Next Door. | Sounds good.
I really liked the Jetons. | Okay.
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