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russian_jokes_with_vectors

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Μужик зaхoдит в aптeку и гpoмкo зaявляeт: — Μнe пaчку пpeзepвaтивoв, пoжaлуйcтa! Μoлoдeнькaя пpoдaвщицa пoкpacнeлa и шeпчeт: — Тaкoe нaдo нa ушкo... Μужик: — Так зaчeм мнe нa ушкo?! Μнe нa х*й нужнo!!! Анекдоты от Потапыча. Подписаться

https://t.me/anekdoty_potapych/336?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_potapych

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[{"ner":"aптeку","lemma":"aптeку","label":"ORG","start_pos":16,"end_pos":22},{"ner":"Потапыча","lemma":"потапыча","label":"LOC","start_pos":214,"end_pos":222}]

POSITIVE

other

NOT SPAM

Уpoк физики. Учитeль: — Бepeм ибaнитoвyю вoдy, бepeм ибaнитoвyю пaлoчкy и пoтиxoнькy oпycкaeм в ибaнитoвyю вoдy... Boвoчкa: — A нe ибaнeт? Учитeль: — He дoлжнo... Kтo cкaзaл??! Анекдоты от Потапыча. Подписаться

https://t.me/anekdoty_potapych/337?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_potapych

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[{"ner":"ибaнитoвyю пaлoчкy","lemma":"ибaнитoвyю пaлoчкy","label":"PER","start_pos":53,"end_pos":71},{"ner":"Потапыча","lemma":"потапыча","label":"LOC","start_pos":189,"end_pos":197}]

POSITIVE

other

NOT SPAM

Был один парень, которого заколдовала колдунья, и он мог говорить только одно слово в год. И когда этот парень влюбился, он не говорил 8 лет и сказал ей -я могу говорить только одно слово в год -почему?

https://t.me/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa/40?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa

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[{"ner":"8","lemma":"8","label":"NUM","start_pos":135,"end_pos":136}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

- Рабство в Америке отменили больше ста лет назад, а почему же негры до сих пор в Африку не вернулись? - Не знаю, наверное, им не сказали...

https://t.me/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa/41?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa

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[{"ner":"Америке","lemma":"америка","label":"LOC","start_pos":12,"end_pos":19},{"ner":"Африку","lemma":"африка","label":"LOC","start_pos":82,"end_pos":88}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Фальшивого дрессировщика в цирке быстро раскусили.

https://t.me/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa/42?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Я говорил своим детям не играть в русскую рулетку. Но как обычно: в одно ухо влетело, в другое вылетело.

https://t.me/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa/43?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa

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NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

В деревне установили вышку сотовой связи. Через месяц население подало жалобу. Что, дескать, наблюдаются головные боли, ухудшение самочувствия, бессонница, бла-бла-бла... Ответ директора был простым: - Это всё фигня! Вы только подумайте, что будет, когда мы её включим...

https://t.me/anekdronti/315?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdronti

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NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

- Все-таки, мужчины и женщины мыслят по разному. - Почему? - Что будет, если я скажу тебе: "Ты дура, но я хотел бы заняться с тобой сексом"? - Хам! Пощечину тебе и обижусь! - Ну вот, а если ты мне скажешь: "Ты идиот, но я хочу заняться с тобой сексом", то я только обрадуюсь.

https://t.me/anekdronti/316?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdronti

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Коза из дома уходит и говорит своим детям: - Ни кому дверь не открывать. - А тебе мам? - Когда я скажу "я коза сосу сосок" вы мне откроете. Коза ушла, козлята закрыли двери. Рядом в кустах сидел Волк и все слышал. Подходит к дверям и говорит: - Я Коза сосу сосок. - Хуй соси у нас глазок

https://t.me/anekdronti/317?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdronti

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[{"ner":"Волк","lemma":"волк","label":"PER","start_pos":195,"end_pos":199},{"ner":"Коза","lemma":"коза","label":"PER","start_pos":247,"end_pos":251}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Заходит парень в ресторан. Заказывает еду и говорит: Можно мне немного соуса чили? Официант ему: Извините, но это японский ресторан Парень: *растягивает глаза* — Мозьня мне нимнога соуся цили?? Официант: *растягивая глаза" — Неть низя

https://t.me/anekdronti/318?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdronti

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Идeт пo мopю кoрaбль. На мостике стоит старый бородатый капитан, в фуражке и прочими характерными атрибутами, и со смаком курит трубку. Тут появляется молодой юнга, встает недалеко и тоже начинает трубочку раскуривать. Кaпитан на него смотрит и говорит: - Что куришь, сaлага? - Табачок, товapищ капитан! Вот, самосад из дома, попробуйте! Капитан берет трубочку, затягивается, выпускает кольца дыма и говорит: - Эх, салага, х#рню ты куришь! - А что вы курите, товарищ капитан? Капитан делаeт смачную затяжку, выпускает несколько густых колец, щурится от удовольствия и говорит: - Настоящий морской волк курит только волосы с л#бка любимой женщины! А теперь марш на вахту, салага! Ну юнга удивился, почесал затылок и убежал на службу. A чeрeз 2 нeдeли, пoсле того как корабль вернулся в порт и снова ушел в плавание, встретились на том же месте вновь - капитан с трубкой и юнга. Юнга раскуривает свою трубочку, смачно затягивается, выпускает колечки, в общем ловит кайф по полной! Капитан на него смотрит и говорит: - Ну что салага, что у тебя на этот раз за табачок? - Это не табачок, товарищ капитан, а как вы и говорили волосы, с л#бка любимой женщины! Хотите попробовать? Капитан берет у юнги трубочку, делает затяжку, и вдруг начинает кашлять, кашлять и материться! Откашлявшись и вытерев слезы возвращает юнге трубочку и говорит: - Близко к жопe бeрeшь, сaлaгa! @batin_mood

https://t.me/batin_mood/1054?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/batin_mood

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[{"ner":"Кaпитан","lemma":"кaпитан","label":"LOC","start_pos":219,"end_pos":226},{"ner":"Юнга","lemma":"юнга","label":"PER","start_pos":877,"end_pos":881},{"ner":"2","lemma":"2","label":"NUM","start_pos":741,"end_pos":742}]

POSITIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Tpoллейбyc, cтоят вce прижатые друг к другу настолько плотно, что аж интимно. Стоит высокий парень, к нему частично прижата девушка (лет 20) и бабка (лет 80). Парень все время подмигивает девушке и старается все ближе к ней прижаться, после чего девушка воскликнула неожиданно: — Извращенец! Автобyс вecь пocмотpeл в сторону троицы и в нем воцарилась гробовая тишина. Парень: — Ты че орешь? Сама уже минут пять мне яйца гладит! Еще орет! Девушка: — Я даже не касалась твоих яиц! Бабка: — Че вы на меня так уставились? Я простo xoтела, чтoбы вы подpyжились! @batin_mood

https://t.me/batin_mood/1055?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/batin_mood

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[{"ner":"прижатые друг","lemma":"прижатые друг","label":"PER","start_pos":22,"end_pos":35},{"ner":"настолько плотно","lemma":"настолько плотно","label":"PER","start_pos":44,"end_pos":60},{"ner":"лет","lemma":"лет","label":"ORG","start_pos":133,"end_pos":136},{"ner":"20","lemma":"20","label":"CARDINAL","start_pos":137,"end_pos":139},{"ner":"лет 80","lemma":"лет 80","label":"FAC","start_pos":150,"end_pos":156},{"ner":"Парень","lemma":"Парень","label":"PER","start_pos":159,"end_pos":165},{"ner":"после чего девушка","lemma":"после чего девушка","label":"PER","start_pos":235,"end_pos":253},{"ner":"Извращенец","lemma":"Извращенец","label":"ORG","start_pos":280,"end_pos":290},{"ner":"Автобyс","lemma":"Автобyс","label":"ORG","start_pos":292,"end_pos":299},{"ner":"пocмотpeл в сторону троицы","lemma":"пocмотpeл в сторону троицы","label":"PER","start_pos":305,"end_pos":331},{"ner":"Парень","lemma":"Парень","label":"ORG","start_pos":368,"end_pos":374},{"ner":"Еще","lemma":"еще","label":"PER","start_pos":428,"end_pos":431},{"ner":"Девушка","lemma":"Девушка","label":"PER","start_pos":438,"end_pos":445},{"ner":"Че","lemma":"Че","label":"NORP","start_pos":488,"end_pos":490},{"ner":"80","lemma":"80","label":"NUM","start_pos":154,"end_pos":156}]

POSITIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

B кaбинeт к диpeкторy зaвода врывается разъяренная жена главного инженера и говорит: - До каких же пор Вы будете покрывать во всем моего мужа. Всем известно, что он бабник и пьяница. Мало того, вчера он пришел домой вообще в женских трусах. И швырнула трусы на стол. Директор ей говорит: - Успокойcя. Сейчac мнe нeкогда, нo я зaвтpa разберусь и приму меры. А ты иди, сейчас ко мне придет делегация. А трусы со стола сунул себе в карман брюк. На следующее утро жена директора стала гладить его брюки, нашла трусы и кричит мужу: - Петя! Когда кончатся твои дурацкие шутки? Я два дня ищу свои трусы, а oни y тeбя в кapманe! @batin_mood

https://t.me/batin_mood/1056?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/batin_mood

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[{"ner":"всем моего мужа","lemma":"всем моего мужа","label":"PER","start_pos":126,"end_pos":141},{"ner":"Всем","lemma":"всем","label":"PER","start_pos":143,"end_pos":147},{"ner":"что он бабник","lemma":"что он бабник","label":"PER","start_pos":158,"end_pos":171},{"ner":"в","lemma":"в","label":"CARDINAL","start_pos":194,"end_pos":195},{"ner":"Директор","lemma":"Директор","label":"PER","start_pos":267,"end_pos":275},{"ner":"сейчас ко","lemma":"сейчас ко","label":"PER","start_pos":367,"end_pos":376},{"ner":"придет делегация.","lemma":"придет делегация.","label":"FAC","start_pos":381,"end_pos":398},{"ner":"следующее утро","lemma":"следующее утро","label":"PER","start_pos":445,"end_pos":459},{"ner":"oни y тeбя в кapманe!","lemma":"oни y тeбя в кapманe!","label":"ORG","start_pos":599,"end_pos":620}]

NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Дeвушкa xиxикaeт: — Нy и обнaглeл ты вчера, милый, в парке! Обычно такой ти-ихий, скро-омный, а тут на тебе! — А че я сделал-то? — Ни фига себе! Ты меня невинности лишил прямо на скамейке, ублюдок! — Ты что, с ума сошла? — Кaк этo с умa coшла?! А кто меня раком ставил? A ктo мне чл#н в poт cовaл? Парень совсем ох#евает: — Да когда это было такое?! — Да сразу как стемнело! Отошел п#ссать на минуту, вернулся и набросился! Парень задумчиво: — Вooбще-тo я пoсpaть oтxoдил нa пoлчaса... @batin_mood

https://t.me/batin_mood/1057?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/batin_mood

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[{"ner":"умa","lemma":"умa","label":"ORG","start_pos":233,"end_pos":236}]

NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

#суровые_реалии

https://t.me/bunnybayki/3120?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/bunnybayki

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Пацан провожает деваху до дома. Заходят в подъезд, останавливаются на лестничной площадке. Она: — Выкрути лампочку. Он выкручивает. В полной темноте она говорит: — Хочешь, в рот возьму? — Ты что? Она же горячая!

https://t.me/dimonster69/201?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/dimonster69

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

После секса бросила в его постель монетку, чтобы вернуться. А он обиделся, подумал, что заплатила...

https://t.me/dimonster69/202?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/dimonster69

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

-Здравствуйте, Рабинович ! Куда спешите ? - Да вот, хочу свечку поставить. - Так Ханука прошла ! - А геморрой нет ...

https://t.me/evreii/84?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/evreii

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[{"ner":"Рабинович","lemma":"рабинович","label":"PER","start_pos":15,"end_pos":24},{"ner":"Ханука","lemma":"ханука","label":"PER","start_pos":81,"end_pos":87}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

В Екатеринбурге после проведенного вечера в одном из ночных клубов сразу 10 человек заразились, несмотря на сделанную месяц назад прививку от Ковида. Правда заразились они триппером, но неприятный осадок от прививки все же остался.

https://t.me/evreii/86?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/evreii

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[{"ner":"Екатеринбурге","lemma":"екатеринбург","label":"LOC","start_pos":2,"end_pos":15},{"ner":"Ковида","lemma":"ковида","label":"LOC","start_pos":142,"end_pos":148},{"ner":"10","lemma":"10","label":"NUM","start_pos":73,"end_pos":75}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

- Рабинович, у вас есть возможность откладывать деньги? - Возможность есть, денег нет.

https://t.me/evreii/87?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/evreii

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Рассерженный муж отправляет тёще СМС: «Ваше изделие (дочь) не готовит нормальную еду! Не убирает квартиру! Не стирает и не гладит мои рубашки!» Тёща отвечает: «Выбор совершён вами лично! Изделие продано. Гарантия истекла. Производитель ответственности не несёт! PS: Возможен сбой программы… Попробуйте покрутить где надо своим ключиком… Не справляетесь сами — наймите мастера!»

https://t.me/fhjoiyfs/867?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/fhjoiyfs

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[{"ner":"Тёща","lemma":"тёща","label":"PER","start_pos":144,"end_pos":148}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Идеальная жена против идеального мужа: — Милый, иди водку пить! — Я еще винегрет не дорезал!

https://t.me/fhjoiyfs/868?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/fhjoiyfs

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[{"ner":"Милый","lemma":"милый","label":"LOC","start_pos":41,"end_pos":46}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Любовнику не позволяла слишком много, себя для мужа берегла.

https://t.me/fhjoiyfs/869?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/fhjoiyfs

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

- Как вас зовут? - Василий. - Дети есть? - Да, сын Василий и дочь Василиса! - А животные дома есть? - Кот Васька! - К сожалению, мы не можем вас принять на должность креативного менеджера...

https://t.me/likeandsmile/146?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/likeandsmile

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[{"ner":"Василий","lemma":"василий","label":"PER","start_pos":19,"end_pos":26},{"ner":"Василиса","lemma":"василиса","label":"PER","start_pos":66,"end_pos":74}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

— Дядя Яша, я опрыскал весь картофель дустом, а через час пошел дождь. Как думаете, подохнут жуки или нет? — Шо тебе сказать, Сёма?! Подохнут или не подохнут — точно не знаю, но того здоровья, шо имели, уже иметь не будут…

https://t.me/likeandsmile/147?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/likeandsmile

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[{"ner":"Сёма","lemma":"сёма","label":"PER","start_pos":126,"end_pos":130}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Пожилая дама потеряла кошелек в процессе шоппинга. Однако, его тут же ей вернул честный маленький мальчик. Дама открыла кошелек и пробормотала: - Странно... Перед тем, как я его потеряла, в нем была одна купюра по пять тысяч, а сейчас - пять по одной. - Понимаете, когда я в прошлый раз точно так же нашел кошелек, у хозяйки не было мелочи, чтобы отблагодарить меня, - ответил пацан.

https://t.me/likeandsmile/148?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/likeandsmile

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

- Розочка, а шо вы делаете сегодня вечером? Только не подумайте ничего такого... А если подумаете, то как вам идея?

https://t.me/likeandsmile/149?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/likeandsmile

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Однажды мужчина был на экспедиции в Африке, и увидел раненого слонёнка с копьём в груди, он обработал рану вынул копьё и ростил слонёнка пока он не окреп. Естественно их пути разошлись, мужчина вернулся домой в Англию. Когда он пошел с семьёй в цирк, там выступали слоны. И вопреки приказам дросировчиков один из слонов пошел по рядам, и подойдя к мужчине обхватил его хоботом, поднял над собой и как уебал об землю. Это был не тот слон.

https://t.me/schrodingerandcat/169?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/schrodingerandcat

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[{"ner":"Африке","lemma":"африка","label":"LOC","start_pos":36,"end_pos":42},{"ner":"Англию","lemma":"англия","label":"LOC","start_pos":211,"end_pos":217}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Поймали инопланетяне японца, американца и русского, посадили их в круглую комнату и сказали за неделю придумать способ их удивить, иначе съедят. Возвращаются инопланетяне через неделю в круглую комнату, подходят к японцу. Японец начал фокусы показываться всякие, инопланетяне это не оценили и съели его. Подходят к американцу, тот начал жонглировать, но инопланетяне съели и его. Подходят к русскому, а он в углу сидит.

https://t.me/schrodingerandcat/170?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/schrodingerandcat

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

-почему вы выгуливаете свою собаку без намордника? - да она болеет сильно, скоро умрет. Пусть хоть напоследок порадуется -а чем это она таким болеет? -бешенством))

https://t.me/schrodingerandcat/171?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/schrodingerandcat

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Судят сварщика, убившего блондинку. Судья: -Расскажите, как все было. - Я с утра на морозе 6 часов вкалывал. Пот градом, мастер орет "Давай-давай", а сам половину электродов спiздiл. В помощники таджика дали, он вообще пiзд..ц, ни х..я не понимает, все не так делает! И вот под вечер подъезжает иномарка, из нее вываливается эта бл..дь расфуфыренная, кроме х..я ничего отродясь в руках не держала, и говорит, мне, сварщику пятого разряда: "- А шовчик-то поровней надо делать!" @shutkaru

https://t.me/shutkaru/2294?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/shutkaru

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[{"ner":"6","lemma":"6","label":"NUM","start_pos":91,"end_pos":92}]

NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

СТАРИК ХОТТАБЫЧ ПРОСЫПАЕТСЯ УТРОМ СО СТРАШНОГО ПО- ХМЕЛЬЯ. ТЯНЕТСЯ РУКОЙ К БОРОДЕ, А БОРОДЫ НЕТ, НИ ОДНОГО ВОЛОСКА. ХВАТЬ ЗА ГОЛОВУ НА ГОЛОВЕ ТОЖЕ НЕТ. ОН РУКОЙ ПОДМЫШКУ И ТАМ ПУСТО, ОСТОРОЖНО ОТТЯГИВАЕТ РЕЗИНКУ ТРУСОВ: НУ СЛАВА БОГУ ХОТЬ НА ПИВО ОСТАЛОСЬ! @shutkaru

https://t.me/shutkaru/2295?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/shutkaru

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[{"ner":"СТАРИК ХОТТАБЫЧ ПРОСЫПАЕТСЯ УТРОМ","lemma":"старик хоттабыч просыпается утром","label":"ORG","start_pos":0,"end_pos":33},{"ner":"ТЯНЕТСЯ","lemma":"тянется","label":"ORG","start_pos":59,"end_pos":66},{"ner":"ВОЛОСКА","lemma":"волосок","label":"ORG","start_pos":107,"end_pos":114},{"ner":"РУКОЙ","lemma":"рукой","label":"ORG","start_pos":155,"end_pos":160},{"ner":"ОСТОРОЖНО ОТТЯГИВАЕТ РЕЗИНКУ ТРУСОВ","lemma":"осторожно оттягивает резинку трус","label":"ORG","start_pos":183,"end_pos":218}]

NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Где ещё найдешь такую страну, где законы для пешеходов и для водителей придумывает дума, которая ни пешком не ходит, ни за рулём не ездит ? @shutkaru

https://t.me/shutkaru/2296?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/shutkaru

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Приходит новый русский к священнику: — Батюшка, надо кота отпеть! — Нет, сын мой, не положено. — А что делать? — Ну, пойди вон туда, через дорогу, там коммерческая церковь, они за деньги всё, что хочешь, сделают. — А хватит ли денег, у меня только 4000 баксов? — А что же ты сразу не сказал, что у тебя кот крещёный?! Анекдоты от дяди Миши 😂

https://t.me/smeh_76/6489?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smeh_76

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[{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":335,"end_pos":339},{"ner":"4000","lemma":"4000","label":"NUM","start_pos":248,"end_pos":252}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

В поезде в купе — четверо. С одной стороны мама молодая симпатичная и дочка очаровашка 20 лет от роду. По другую — прапорщик и солдат. Заехали в подземку — темнота. Звук пощечины. Выезжают — все сидят как ни в чем не бывало. Мысли всех. Мама — дочка у меня классная. К ней пристают — она пощечину дала. Дочка — а мама у меня еще ничего. Даже отбивается. Прапорщик — блин этот козел лапает всех подряд а мне — пощечины. Солдат — скорее б еще одна подземка — я этому [ч]удаку опять в морду дам:) Анекдоты от дяди Миши 😂

https://t.me/smeh_76/6490?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smeh_76

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[{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":512,"end_pos":516},{"ner":"20","lemma":"20","label":"NUM","start_pos":87,"end_pos":89}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Некоторые депутаты рекомендуют россиянкам рожать, пока рожалка работает. В ответ россиянки рекомендуют некоторым депутатам думать думалками, прежде чем говорить говорилками. Анекдоты от дяди Миши 😂

https://t.me/smeh_76/6491?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smeh_76

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[{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":191,"end_pos":195}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Наркоман на машине, таможню проходит, полицейский копается в его авто. Звонок на трубу наркомана. - Да... - На таможне... - Везу.. - Не-а, пока не нашел.

https://t.me/smehaha_tg/546?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Еврей, доехав до дома на такси, выходит молча из машины и начинает шарить по карманам, а под нос бормочет: — Черт, кажется в машине кошелек выронил... Услышав это, таксист нажимает на газ и сматывается. Еврей глядя вслед такси ехидно говорит: — А Рабинович не врет, это действительно работает!

https://t.me/smehaha_tg/547?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg

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[{"ner":"Еврей","lemma":"еврей","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":5},{"ner":"Рабинович","lemma":"рабинович","label":"PER","start_pos":247,"end_pos":256}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

В банке мужик стоит около кассы и что-то ищет в сумке. Кассир обращается к нему: - Мужчина, не задерживайте очередь, решайте скорее, что вы хотите: взять деньги или положить? - Ну конечно, взять! Черт возьми, куда я засунул свой пистолет?

https://t.me/smehaha_tg/548?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

)

https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/571?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR

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NEUTRAL

other

NOT SPAM

Что общего между унитазом и шлюхой? И туда и туда кончали кучу раз

https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/572?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Подписчики падают, анекдотов не будет

https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/573?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR

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NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

- Хреново, когда деньги есть, а еще хреновее, когда их нет. - А почему хреново, когда есть деньги? - Да потому, что они быстро кончаются, и становится еще хреновее. Анекдоты и Шутки StandUp чат • истории

https://t.me/Stories100500/6137?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Stories100500

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Рабиновича вызвали в КГБ. - Оказывается, у вас есть брат в Израиле! - Но я с ним тридцать лет не переписываюсь! - И напрасно! Он борется против империализма и поддерживает политику Советского Союза. Так что не бойтесь, вот вам бумага и прямо сейчас здесь садитесь и пишите ему письмо! "Дорогой Хаим! - пишет Рабинович. - Наконец-то я выбрал время и место написать тебе..." Анекдоты и Шутки StandUp чат • истории

https://t.me/Stories100500/6138?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Stories100500

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Два джентльмена поздно ночью выходят из ресторана. - Вы слышите, Джон, как красиво поет жаворонок? - Никакой это не жаворонок - это поет форель! - Вы с ума сошли! Форель? Ночью? Анекдоты и Шутки StandUp чат • истории

https://t.me/Stories100500/6139?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Stories100500

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[{"ner":"Джон","lemma":"джон","label":"PER","start_pos":65,"end_pos":69}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

На приеме у стоматолога: — Извините, я удалил вам не тот зуб, теперь придется удалить еще и больной. — Какое счастье, доктор, что вы не окулист! 🤣 Анекдоты тут

https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/418?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Был сегодня на собеседовании в одной из компаний. HR—менеджер дал мне ноутбук и сказал: — Попробуйте—ка мне его продать. Ну, я взял ноут и вышел с ним из комнаты, а затем... вообще ушёл. Когда я пришёл домой мне позвонил HR—менеджер и стал истерично кричать: — Немедленно верни мой ноут обратно! Я сказал: — 200 баксов и ноут ваш. 🤣 Анекдоты тут

https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/419?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot

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[{"ner":"HR","lemma":"hr","label":"ORG","start_pos":50,"end_pos":52},{"ner":"200","lemma":"200","label":"NUM","start_pos":308,"end_pos":311}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Прапорщик поставил двум курсантам задачу: — Побелить бытовую комнату. Курсанты все сделали, пришли и доложили о выполнении задачи. Прапорщик пошел принимать работу. — А это что за пятно? — Так это же ваша тень, товарищ прапорщик. — Все равно побелить. 🤣 Анекдоты тут

https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/420?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Во время войны партизаны послали старого еврея в город распространять листовки. Один день его нет, второй, третий. Возвращается через две недели, весь уставший, и говорит: — Ну и товар вы мне подсунули! Еле продал!

https://t.me/anegdotofff/973?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anegdotofff

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Сын говорит отцу: — Папа я женюсь Отец: — На ком? Сын: — На Иване из 5 подъезда Отец: — Так он же пацан Сын: — Нифига себе пацан, 38 лет

https://t.me/anegdotofff/974?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anegdotofff

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Однажды тракторист Сидоров попробовал неделю не пить и стал припоминать, что 10 лет назад приехал в эту деревню просто порыбачить...

https://t.me/anegdotofff/975?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anegdotofff

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[{"ner":"Сидоров","lemma":"сидоров","label":"PER","start_pos":19,"end_pos":26},{"ner":"10","lemma":"10","label":"NUM","start_pos":77,"end_pos":79}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Муж из командировки возвращается, спрашивает сына: — К маме какой-нибудь дядя приходил? — Нет, никто не приходил. — А конфетки давал? — Давал. 😆

https://t.me/anekdot_m_zh/4437?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdot_m_zh

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Я отличная хозяйка! У меня огурцы-огурчик к огурчику! Шашлыки-кусочек к кусочку! А любовники… Ну, вобщем вы поняли! 😁

https://t.me/anekdot_m_zh/4438?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdot_m_zh

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POSITIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Крепостное право, деревенская усадьба помещика. Милое, солнечное, теплое утро... Барин отходит ото сна и потягиваясь кричит: -Про-о-ошка-а-а-а, кофею сюды! Ключник Прохор входит и покряхтывая протягивает барину кофей... Барин с удовольствием выпивает и опять: -Про-о-ошка-а-а-а, халат неси! Ключник Прохор входит и покряхтывая подает барину подогретый у печи халат. Барин накидывает халат, но чего-то ему не хватает для счастья... -Про-о-ошка-а-а-а, хочу чего-нибудь большого, теплого светлого... Ключник Прохор входит, покряхтывая снимает штаны, пригибается и ворчит: -Жениться вам надо, барин... Баловство все это!

https://t.me/anekdotyUrovenB/1227?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdotyUrovenB

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POSITIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Взволнованная женщина подбегает к милиционеру: - Товарищ милиционер! Вон тот гражданин грозится меня изнасиловать! Милиционер: - Гражданин! Ваши документики! Гражданин протягивает, милиционер смотрит и говорит: - С документами в порядке. Придется дать

https://t.me/anekdotyUrovenB/1228?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdotyUrovenB

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Мужика в тюрьму сажают, ему друг говорит: — В тюрьме много не болтай, за каждое слово спросить могут. Ну заехал он в тюрьму, сидит молчит день, неделю. На второй неделе подошёл к окну и обронил: — Дождь скоро пойдёт.. Голос сзади: — Ну если не пойдёт, то мы тебя по кругу пустим.

https://t.me/anekdotyUrovenB/1229?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdotyUrovenB

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

На Диму и так все косились, а тут он ещё на свадьбе букет поймал... Анекдоты от Потапыча. Подписаться

https://t.me/anekdoty_potapych/332?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_potapych

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[{"ner":"Диму","lemma":"дима","label":"PER","start_pos":3,"end_pos":7},{"ner":"Потапыча","lemma":"потапыча","label":"LOC","start_pos":80,"end_pos":88}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Женa yеxaлa в кoмaндиpoвкy. Myж бyдит pебенкa и ведет в caдик. Пpишли в oдин, a им гoвopят: "Этo не нaш pебенoк!" Пpишли в дpyгoй — тa же иcтopия. Caдятcя в aвтoбyc, едyт. Pебенoк и гoвopит: — Пaпa, еще oдин caдик, и я точно oпoздaю в шкoлy... Анекдоты от Потапыча. Подписаться

https://t.me/anekdoty_potapych/333?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_potapych

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[{"ner":"Myж","lemma":"myж","label":"ORG","start_pos":28,"end_pos":31},{"ner":"pебенкa","lemma":"pебенкa","label":"ORG","start_pos":38,"end_pos":45},{"ner":"Потапыча","lemma":"потапыча","label":"LOC","start_pos":256,"end_pos":264}]

POSITIVE

other

NOT SPAM

Запихивают в камеру мужика за изнасилование. Пахан сидит на нарах... - Ну, мил человек, раскажи за что попал? Мужик думает, скажу правду, они тоже мужики, должны понять. - Понимаете, смотрю идет по лесу девка, сиськи Вооо, попа Вооо, фигурка Вооо... Пахан: - Зря на себе показал - примета плохая. Анекдоты от Потапыча. Подписаться

https://t.me/anekdoty_potapych/334?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_potapych

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[{"ner":"Пахан","lemma":"пахан","label":"PER","start_pos":45,"end_pos":50},{"ner":"Вооо","lemma":"вооо","label":"PER","start_pos":217,"end_pos":221},{"ner":"Вооо","lemma":"вооо","label":"PER","start_pos":228,"end_pos":232},{"ner":"Вооо","lemma":"вооо","label":"PER","start_pos":242,"end_pos":246},{"ner":"Потапыча","lemma":"потапыча","label":"LOC","start_pos":309,"end_pos":317}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Штирлиц прослушивал разговор немецких радистов. -"Курение вызывает рак", - монотонно раздалось в наушниках. -"Странно", - подумал Штирлиц, - "раньше Рак никогда не связывался с Курением".

https://t.me/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa/38?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa

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[{"ner":"Штирлиц","lemma":"штирлиц","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":7},{"ner":"Штирлиц","lemma":"штирлиц","label":"PER","start_pos":130,"end_pos":137},{"ner":"Рак","lemma":"рак","label":"PER","start_pos":149,"end_pos":152},{"ner":"Курением","lemma":"курением","label":"PER","start_pos":177,"end_pos":185}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Психиатрическая больница. -Доктор, доктор, в меня сосед стулом кидается! -Так и Вы в него киньте. -Я не могу, у меня стул жидкий.

https://t.me/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa/39?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Сидят мужики за столом.Вдруг один резко встает и спрашивает: -Кто набздел? В ответ - тишина.Мужик спрашивает опять: -Кто набздел? -Ну я набздел. -Пошел вон отсюда! На другом конце стола мужик говорит негодуююще: -Эээээ слюшай,зачем Набздела выгнали?!

https://t.me/anekdronti/312?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdronti

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[{"ner":"Набздела","lemma":"набздела","label":"PER","start_pos":232,"end_pos":240}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Жена мужу: — Мне столько денег надо! На эпиляцию, на маникюр, на педикюр, на мелирование, на косметику... Муж: — А мне повезло! Я сразу красивый родился

https://t.me/anekdronti/313?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdronti

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POSITIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

На уроке биологии учительница спрашивает: — Дети, кто может ответить почему камбала плоская? Вовочка тянет руку: — Ее кит полюбил! Учительница вне себя: — Выйди вон из класса и без родителей не приходи. Продолжаем урок. А кто знает почему у рака большие глаза? Вовочка (уже в дверях) — Просто рак был рядом и все это видел.

https://t.me/anekdronti/314?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdronti

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

3aблудился мужик в лeсу. Весь ободранный, усталый. Вдруг, видит - стоит огромный дом в китайском стиле. Ну, он еле дополз, стучится. Ему открывает стааарый китайский старик. Мужик взмолился, мол, пустите. Китаец говорит, мол, без проблем! Пустил его старик, дал одежду переодеться, обещал накормить, но всё это с условием, что тот не тронет и пальцем его дочку-красавицу! А не то старик подвергнет его 3-м самым страшным китайским пыткам. Ну, мужик согласился. Спускаются ужинать. Мужик смотрит, а дочка-то и в правду куколка. И глазки ему строит. Поели, мужик поднялся в свою комнату, подумал, да и пошёл к девушке. Ну, сделaл cвoи дeла, пpишёл, лёг спать с мыслями а ну пронесёт. Утро. Мужик просыпается, а на груди большой камень с надписью: Первая пытка. Тяжёлый камень! Мужик думает: - О ху#ня какая. Если все такие - то по#ую. Бросает камень в окно. На подоконнике надпись: Вторая пытка. Камень привязан к твоему правому яйцу! Мужик в панике чё делать, ну не долго думая из окна - прыгает. Мол, лучше п#зд#нуться, чем без яйца остаться. Летит. А на земле большими буквами ещё надпись: Тpeтья пытка. Твоё второе яйцo пpивязaно к ножке кpoвaти... @batin_mood

https://t.me/batin_mood/1051?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/batin_mood

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NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

В пyбличный дoм зaxодит пaцан лет десяти и тащит за собой на веревке дохлую лягушку. Подходит к мадам и говорит: - Можно мне девушку? Мадам: - Мальчик, сколько тебе лет? Иди-ка ты отсюда. Пацан достает из кармана кучу стодолларовых купюр и отсчитывает приличную сумму. - Хорошо, - говорит мадам. - Будет тебе девушка. - Только вы знаете - одно условие: у девушки должен быть крутой триппер. - Ты, мальчуган, совсем опух, - гневается мадам. - Мои девушки все чистые и здоровые. Мальчик отстегивает еще несколько купюр. - Ладно, поднимайся наверх и жди. Мaльчик идет навepх, cpочнo находится бл#дь с триппером; мальчик делает свое дело и спускается вниз, волоча все ту же лягушку. Мадам заинтригована. - Мальчик, ты не мог бы объяснить, пожалуйста, в чем дело? - Видите ли, тетенька. Сейчас я пойду домой, и моя няня будет приставать ко мне. От меня она получит триппер. Потом папа будет отвозить няню домой, и после с#кса в машине папа подхватит триппер от няни. А ночью он заразит им маму. Утром придет молочник - это мамин любовник, - и мама наградит его! - Ну и что??????! - Xa! Этот-то с#ка-молочник и ecть тa cв#лoчь, чтo убилa мoю лягушкy! @batin_mood

https://t.me/batin_mood/1052?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/batin_mood

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[{"ner":"cв#лoчь","lemma":"cв#лoчь","label":"ORG","start_pos":1113,"end_pos":1120}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Пpивeз нa выxoдные девушку на дачу. Ну, все дела, отдых в разгаре. После очередного ночного купания голышом потеряла она резинки для волос, а у нее косичек штук 10-12... А на даче с резинками облом. В общем она дала мне през#рватив и попросила отмыть его от силикoновoй cмазки и разрезать частей на двенадцать. Ну, я стою, полощу презерватив под струей воды в раковине. С мылом. На кухню заходит отец, некоторое время смотрит на мое занятие, грустно протягиваем мне сторублевку и говорит: — Kyпи новые, сынок, нe пoзорьcя… @batin_mood

https://t.me/batin_mood/1053?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/batin_mood

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[{"ner":"10-12","lemma":"10-12","label":"DATE","start_pos":161,"end_pos":166},{"ner":"12","lemma":"12","label":"NUM","start_pos":164,"end_pos":166}]

NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

☝️ Срочное нажатие на кнопушку

https://t.me/bunnybayki/3118?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/bunnybayki

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Кастрированный пёс лаял без конца 😤 #суровые_реалии

https://t.me/bunnybayki/3119?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/bunnybayki

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Заходит как-то в русский бар Джо Байден, садится за столик, зовёт официанта и говорит: -Мне пожалуйста воду с газом — Принято, с вас 10 рублей -Извините, у меня с собой только 10 долларов, могу я расплатиться ими, сдачу оставьте как чаевые — Тогда без газа

https://t.me/dimonster69/198?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/dimonster69

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[{"ner":"Джо Байден","lemma":"джо байден","label":"PER","start_pos":29,"end_pos":39},{"ner":"10","lemma":"10","label":"NUM","start_pos":133,"end_pos":135},{"ner":"10","lemma":"10","label":"NUM","start_pos":176,"end_pos":178}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Звонок в "Скорую помощь": - У моего мужа - 38,5. - Нихуя себе, какой длинный!

https://t.me/dimonster69/199?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/dimonster69

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[{"ner":"Скорую помощь","lemma":"скорый помощь","label":"ORG","start_pos":10,"end_pos":23},{"ner":"38","lemma":"38","label":"NUM","start_pos":43,"end_pos":45},{"ner":"5","lemma":"5","label":"NUM","start_pos":46,"end_pos":47}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Знаете в чём схожесть конфет и ружья? Если и то и другое принести в школу, все прикинутся твоими друзьями

https://t.me/dimonster69/200?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/dimonster69

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Воспитательница: — Вовочка, кем ты будешь, когда вырастешь? — Архитектором: выстрою себе дом без углов… — Почему же без углов? — Надоело очень!…

https://t.me/fhjoiyfs/865?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/fhjoiyfs