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ScoutieAutoML

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russian_jokes_with_vectors

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Муж вваливается домой пьяный. Жена хватает веник — и по морде его, по морде: — Что, скотина?! Будешь пить? Будешь пить?! — Н—не буду… — Я последний раз спрашиваю — будешь?! — Н—ну ладно… Н—наливай!

https://t.me/fhjoiyfs/888?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/fhjoiyfs

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NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

— Сидоров, безобразие! Вы опять спите на работе! С первого числа вы уволены. — Так это же с первого. Чего вы меня сейчас-то будите?

https://t.me/likeandsmile/167?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/likeandsmile

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[{"ner":"Сидоров","lemma":"сидоров","label":"PER","start_pos":2,"end_pos":9}]

NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Один парень так громко пил сок через трубочку в кинотеатре, что теперь он через трубочку уже и ест.

https://t.me/likeandsmile/168?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/likeandsmile

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

— В полнолуние надо показать денежку Луне и сказать: "месяц, дружочек, наполни кошелечек!" — Министр финансов, у вас есть еще какие-то предложения?

https://t.me/likeandsmile/169?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/likeandsmile

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[{"ner":"Луне","lemma":"луне","label":"LOC","start_pos":37,"end_pos":41}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Прапорщик перед строем: - Водку в казарме я вам пить не позволю, здесь вам не детский сад!

https://t.me/likeandsmile/170?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/likeandsmile

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Два друга встретились как-то, выпили. Один другому и говорит: — Спорим на штукарь, что я смогу укусить свой глаз? — Хм, ну спорим. Первый вытаскивает вставной глаз и кусает его. Второй офигел, но отдал тысячу. Первый и говорит: — А спорим еще на штукарь, что я смогу укусить свой второй глаз? Второй думает: «Ну не может же у него два вставных глаза быть, он же меня видит». Говорит: — Спорим! Первый вытаскивает вставные челюсти и кусает свой второй глаз.

https://t.me/schrodingerandcat/188?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/schrodingerandcat

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[{"ner":"Спорим","lemma":"спорим","label":"LOC","start_pos":64,"end_pos":70},{"ner":"Хм","lemma":"хм","label":"PER","start_pos":116,"end_pos":118}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

— Милый, ты ведь знаешь, что все болезни от нервов? — Ну и? — Мне кажется, что ты переволновался, и у тебя будет сифилис.

https://t.me/schrodingerandcat/189?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/schrodingerandcat

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[{"ner":"Милый","lemma":"милый","label":"LOC","start_pos":2,"end_pos":7}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Один мужчина увидел объявление на двери женского монастыря: "Секс с молодыми монахинями - 500 у.е." Он постучал, дверь открыла симпатичная монахиня, приняла деньги и сказала: "Я пока подготовлюсь, а вы пройдите, пожалуйста, по коридору в последнюю дверь направо." Мужчина быстро прошёл к указанной двери, открыл её и снова оказался на улице. Дверь за ним закрылась. Обернувшись, он увидел на двери табличку: "Сегодня вас поимела сестра Мария". @shutkaru

https://t.me/shutkaru/2313?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/shutkaru

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[{"ner":"Мария","lemma":"мария","label":"PER","start_pos":436,"end_pos":441},{"ner":"500","lemma":"500","label":"NUM","start_pos":90,"end_pos":93}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Самолет терпит крушение. В живых, прыгнув с парашютом, остается одна стюардесса. Приземлилась на необитаемый остров, со всего пережитого ее в сон ударило. Просыпается рядом сидит мужик, мясо жарит. Она!: Ты кто? Откуда взялся? - Да преступник я. Меня на этом острове 15 лет назад одного оставили, думали помру. А я, виш, мясцом балуюсь. - Ох, и я бы поела! - А что в обмен дашь на мясо? - Ну, разве только то, что ты 15 лет не пробовал! (Мужик вскакивает, кидается ее обнимать) - Милая ты моя! Желанная ты моя! Неужто водки привезла?! @shutkaru

https://t.me/shutkaru/2314?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/shutkaru

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

О загадочном русском характере. Привезли в заброшенную сибирскую деревню американскую пилораму. Собрались мужики на совет. Почесывают бороды, кряхтят. Один: - А елку осилит? Срубили елку, приладили к пилораме, нажали на кнопку.... ВЖЖЖЖЖЖЖ...Елка распилена. Мужики: У-уу 6л..ть..... Другой: - А березу осилит? Срубили березу, приладили к пилораме, нажали на кнопку... В-ж-ж-ж-ж-Ж-Ж-Ж.Береза распилена. Мужики: У-уу 6л..ть..... Третий: - А дуб осилит? Завалили дуб, приладили к пилораме, нажали на кнопку.... В-ж-ж-ж-Ж--Ж--Ж. Дуб распилен. Мужики: У-уу 6л..ть..... Четвертый: - А рельсу осилит? Открутили рельс, приладили к пилораме, нажали на кнопку... В-Ж-К-РРР-Т-РРР-ТРАХ-БАХ. Сломалась пилорама. Мужики довольно: Ааааа-бл..ть....!!!!! @shutkaru

https://t.me/shutkaru/2315?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/shutkaru

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[{"ner":"6","lemma":"6","label":"NUM","start_pos":271,"end_pos":272},{"ner":"6","lemma":"6","label":"NUM","start_pos":415,"end_pos":416},{"ner":"6","lemma":"6","label":"NUM","start_pos":552,"end_pos":553}]

NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Командир части, полковник, говорит лейтехе — подчиненному: — Если все пойдет по плану, то сверли дырку для ордена. — А если все пойдет не по плану? — Ну, для этого случая дырка у тебя уже есть... Анекдоты от дяди Миши 😂

https://t.me/smeh_76/6508?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smeh_76

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[{"ner":"лейтехе","lemma":"лейтехе","label":"PER","start_pos":35,"end_pos":42},{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":213,"end_pos":217}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

На уроке химии Вовочка перепутал реактивы и составил не тот раствор. Макнул палец — и он перестал сгибаться. Принес он колбу домой, рассказал отцу. Тот дал ему десятку и забрал раствор. Утром просыпается Вовочка, а под подушкой еще тридцать рублей. — Это тебе от мамы, — сказал отец. Анекдоты от дяди Миши 😂

https://t.me/smeh_76/6509?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smeh_76

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[{"ner":"Вовочка","lemma":"вовочка","label":"PER","start_pos":15,"end_pos":22},{"ner":"Вовочка","lemma":"вовочка","label":"PER","start_pos":204,"end_pos":211},{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":301,"end_pos":305}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

— Солдат! Почему сапоги не начищены?! — А вас это не [колыш]ет, товарищ командир! — Чтоооо?! Да как ты, сопляк, смеешь так разговаривать! ПОЧЕМУ САПОГИ НЕЧИЩЕНЫ?! — Так ведь гуталина не выдали... — Меня это не [колыш]ет! — Ну я сразу так и сказал. Анекдоты от дяди Миши 😂

https://t.me/smeh_76/6510?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smeh_76

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[{"ner":"Чтоооо","lemma":"чтоооо","label":"PER","start_pos":84,"end_pos":90},{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":265,"end_pos":269}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Пожар в женской бане. Приезжают пожарные, смотрят - около бани стоит мужик и ржет: - Опоздали, братки, опоздали! Те ему: - Как же опоздали, баня же еще горит? А он им: - Баня-то горит, а вот бабы голые уже разбежались!

https://t.me/smehaha_tg/566?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

— Ты че на дачу грядки копать приехал? Давай лучше нах@яримся как следует! — Бабушка, перестань!

https://t.me/smehaha_tg/567?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg

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NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Экзамен в сельскохозяйственном: - Вы - директор совхоза. И у вас опять неурожай. Какие объективные причины вы выдвинете в свое оправдание? - Ну, плохие погодные условия. - А что-нибудь посвежей? - Ну, забыли посадить.

https://t.me/smehaha_tg/568?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Всем спасибо что тут сидели)

https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/591?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR

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POSITIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Рано или поздно здесь снова будут анекдоты

https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/592?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

- Ясень. - представился Ясень. - Ну и?.. - спросил Винни-Пух. - Что "ну и"? - переспросил Ясень. - Где моя любимая? - спросил Винни-Пух. - Как же вы все меня задолбали... - с чувством сказал Ясень. Анекдоты и Шутки StandUp чат • истории

https://t.me/Stories100500/6156?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Stories100500

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[{"ner":"Ясень","lemma":"ясень","label":"PER","start_pos":2,"end_pos":7},{"ner":"Винни-Пух","lemma":"винни-пух","label":"PER","start_pos":51,"end_pos":60},{"ner":"Ясень","lemma":"ясень","label":"PER","start_pos":90,"end_pos":95},{"ner":"Винни-Пух","lemma":"винни-пух","label":"PER","start_pos":126,"end_pos":135},{"ner":"Ясень","lemma":"ясень","label":"PER","start_pos":191,"end_pos":196}]

NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Последний ряд.Тишина. 2 человека: Момент поцелуя Эда и Беллы, они очень медленно сближаются: первый чел (на весь зал, который сидел в полной тишине): - Ну давай уже! Ему отвечает второй: - По-моему, он просто не знает, как это делается! Пойдем, подскажем? Первый: - Чем же он, блин, сто лет занимался???? Потом, когда они уже на кровати: Второй чел: -Он быстро учится! Анекдоты и Шутки StandUp чат • истории

https://t.me/Stories100500/6157?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Stories100500

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Солдат пишет домой из армии: - "Нас тут учат убирать снег и варить картошку. Так что если враг нападет - мы ему дорогу расчистим и жрать приготовим". Анекдоты и Шутки StandUp чат • истории

https://t.me/Stories100500/6158?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Stories100500

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

- Как в Москве заработать на автомобильных пробках? - Можно сдавать заднее сиденье иногородним... Анекдоты и Шутки StandUp чат • истории

https://t.me/Stories100500/6159?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Stories100500

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[{"ner":"Москве","lemma":"москва","label":"LOC","start_pos":8,"end_pos":14}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Из окна отходящего поезда один мужик кричит другому, оставшемуся на перроне: — Ну, счастливо! Еще раз спасибо за гостеприимство! Все было классно! А жена твоя в постели — это просто супер! Потом смотрит — в вагоне у всех пассажиров вокруг него челюсти отвалились. Он им, виновато: — Да нет, это так, вранье на самом деле. Не хотелось просто хорошего человека огорчать. 🤣 Анекдоты тут

https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/438?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot

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NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Мой дед говорил: «Если одна дверь закрывается, то другая обязательно откроется». Он был очень мудрым, но при этом делал паршивые шкафы. 🤣 Анекдоты тут

https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/439?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Дорогая! Я вот тут прочитал, что во время секса мужчина сжигает столько же калорий, как будто он пробежал 9 километров! — Да ты, прям, чемпион мира! 9 км за 2 минуты!! 🤣 Анекдоты тут

https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/440?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot

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[{"ner":"9","lemma":"9","label":"NUM","start_pos":106,"end_pos":107},{"ner":"9","lemma":"9","label":"NUM","start_pos":149,"end_pos":150},{"ner":"2","lemma":"2","label":"NUM","start_pos":157,"end_pos":158}]

POSITIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Приходит маленький Мойша домой, подходит к маме, и говорит: - Мама, мама, а я сегодня в школе написал в графе "Национальность" шо я русский! - Сынок, а шо ты каждый день кушал на обед? - Курочку - Вот, а теперь ты будешь есть картошку, как все русские дети. Мойша расстроился, пошел к папе, думает, может папа одобрит. Подходит к папе: - Папа, папа, а я сегодня в графе "Национальность" в школе написал шо я русский! - Сынок, а на чем ты каждый день ездил в школу? - На машине папа! - Вот, а теперь ты будешь ездить на трамвае, как все русские дети. Мойша, совсем расстроенный, подходит к дедушке, вдруг тот одобрит: - Дедушка, дедушка, а я сегодня в графе "Национальность" написал шо я русский! - Внучек, а сколько ты получал в школу каждый день карманных денег? - Стольник, дедушка! - Вот, а теперь ты будешь получать рупь, как все русские дети. Мойша совсем расстроился, садится вместе с семьей ужинать. Все едят курочку, перемигиваются между собой. Мойша кушает картошку. Тут мама спрашивает Мойшу: - Ну шо сынок, как тебе быть русским? - Блять, я всего пару часов, как русский, а уже вас, ЕВРЕЕВ БЛЯТЬ НЕНАВИЖУ

https://t.me/anegdotofff/994?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anegdotofff

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[{"ner":"Мойша","lemma":"мойша","label":"PER","start_pos":19,"end_pos":24},{"ner":"Национальность","lemma":"национальность","label":"ORG","start_pos":111,"end_pos":125},{"ner":"Мойша","lemma":"мойша","label":"PER","start_pos":258,"end_pos":263},{"ner":"Национальность","lemma":"национальность","label":"ORG","start_pos":371,"end_pos":385},{"ner":"Национальность","lemma":"национальность","label":"ORG","start_pos":658,"end_pos":672},{"ner":"Мойша","lemma":"мойша","label":"PER","start_pos":848,"end_pos":853},{"ner":"Мойшу","lemma":"мойша","label":"PER","start_pos":996,"end_pos":1001},{"ner":"ЕВРЕЕВ","lemma":"евреев","label":"ORG","start_pos":1094,"end_pos":1100},{"ner":"БЛЯТЬ","lemma":"блять","label":"ORG","start_pos":1101,"end_pos":1106}]

NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

У гея-кортежника не только козырь в рукаве, но и черви в жопе

https://t.me/anegdotofff/995?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anegdotofff

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NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

У тебя есть лед для виски? - Да, вон, пойди на крыльцо, сорви пару сосулек! 👍

https://t.me/anekdot_m_zh/4456?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdot_m_zh

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

- Софочка таки недаром закончила курсы кройки и шитья! Вы бы послушали, как она кроет, когда отшивает! 🤪

https://t.me/anekdot_m_zh/4457?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdot_m_zh

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Изя, ты чего такой хмурый? - Гороскоп фиговый: "Козерог может узнать об измене близкого человека". - А ты разве Козерог? - Жена Козерог! 🤪

https://t.me/anekdot_m_zh/4458?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdot_m_zh

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[{"ner":"Козерог","lemma":"козерог","label":"PER","start_pos":48,"end_pos":55},{"ner":"Козерог","lemma":"козерог","label":"PER","start_pos":112,"end_pos":119}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

90е, встретились две бригады бандюков на стрелке, стоят перетирают за свои бандитские дела. Вдруг рядом останавливается жигуль, оттуда высовывается дед: - Ребят, я по этой дороге могу до площади доехать? Все крепко задумались, стоят молча несколько минут. Наконец самый здоровый бугай поднимает голову: - Не знаю как остальные, но лично я не возражаю

https://t.me/anekdotyUrovenB/1247?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdotyUrovenB

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[{"ner":"90","lemma":"90","label":"NUM","start_pos":0,"end_pos":2}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Одинокая женщина звонит в эскорт-службу: - Скажите а у вас есть накачанные мужчины? - Конечно! - А накачанные и красивые? - Все такие! - А накачанные красивые и стильные? - Есть! - А вот из этих накачанных красивых и стильных есть такие, которые долго не кончают? - Есть! - А есть такие чтобы долго, долго, долго, долго не кончали! - Есть такой, берёте? - Да! Давайте! Полчаса спустя. Звонок в дверь. Она открывает, а там стоит накачанный красивый молодой, весь от Кавалли и Гуччи, даже носки Бриони и т.д. Заходят в спальню, она ложится на кровать, а он в это время отшвыривает цветы, и начинает ВСЁ НА СЕБЕ РВАТЬ, костюм в труху, рубашку на тряпки, всё рвёт на себе, она: - ЧТО ВЫ ДЕЛАЕТЕ? ЗАЧЕМ ВЫ ЭТО РВЁТЕ? - ДА ПОТОМУ ЧТО КОГДА Я КОНЧУ, ЭТО УЖЕ ВЫЙДЕТ ИЗ МОДЫ!

https://t.me/anekdotyUrovenB/1248?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdotyUrovenB

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[{"ner":"Кавалли","lemma":"кавалли","label":"PER","start_pos":465,"end_pos":472},{"ner":"Гуччи","lemma":"гуччи","label":"PER","start_pos":475,"end_pos":480},{"ner":"Бриони","lemma":"бриони","label":"PER","start_pos":493,"end_pos":499},{"ner":"ВСЁ","lemma":"всё","label":"ORG","start_pos":597,"end_pos":600},{"ner":"НА СЕБЕ РВАТЬ","lemma":"на себе рвать","label":"ORG","start_pos":601,"end_pos":614},{"ner":"ВЫ ДЕЛАЕТЕ","lemma":"вы делаете","label":"ORG","start_pos":680,"end_pos":690},{"ner":"ВЫЙДЕТ","lemma":"выйдет","label":"ORG","start_pos":751,"end_pos":757}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Приехал однажды мужик отдохнуть в санаторий. А ему говорят : "Вам тут не санаторий!"

https://t.me/anekdotyUrovenB/1249?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdotyUrovenB

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Очень бедная семья сидит на кухне, пьет чай. Над столом висит лампочка, а к лампочке привязан кусочек сахара. Папа делает глоток и смотрит на сахар. Мама делает глоток и смотрит на сахар. Дочь делает глоток и смотрит на сахар. Маленький сынишка делает глоток и смотрит… смотрит… смотрит… Вдруг папаша дает ему леща со словами: — Слишком сладкий чай пьешь, сынок… Анекдоты от Потапыча. Подписаться

https://t.me/anekdoty_potapych/351?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_potapych

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[{"ner":"Потапыча","lemma":"потапыча","label":"LOC","start_pos":375,"end_pos":383}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Сидят в камере Гена и Чебурашка. Спрашивает их сокамерник- за что, мол, сидите. За фокусы, — отвечает Чебурашка. — За какие? — Ну хочешь, чтоб у тебя х.й был до земли. — Хочу! — Гена, откуси ему ноги. Анекдоты от Потапыча. Подписаться

https://t.me/anekdoty_potapych/352?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_potapych

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[{"ner":"Гена","lemma":"ген","label":"PER","start_pos":15,"end_pos":19},{"ner":"Чебурашка","lemma":"чебурашка","label":"PER","start_pos":22,"end_pos":31},{"ner":"Чебурашка","lemma":"чебурашка","label":"PER","start_pos":102,"end_pos":111},{"ner":"Гена","lemma":"гена","label":"PER","start_pos":178,"end_pos":182},{"ner":"Потапыча","lemma":"потапыча","label":"LOC","start_pos":213,"end_pos":221}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Пожилой Кавказец приходит в магазин и обращается к продавцу: - Продай мне два костюма. - Дед, зачем тебе два? Тебе уже восемьдесят лет. Возьми один, до конца жизни хватит. - Один себе беру, другой для папы. - Слушай, если тебе 80, то папе, наверное, лет 100-105!? - Да, ты прав, просто на дедушкиной свадьбе хотим нарядными быть. - Если отцу 105, то деду, наверное, лет 130!? Он что, жениться хочет? - Он-то не хочет, родители заставляют.

https://t.me/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa/57?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Умер человек и попал на небо. Увидел там бога и спрашивает: — Господи, ну почему у других было всё, а у меня ничего? Всю жизнь маялся в долгах и нищете. Ну что тебе стоило послать мне хоть немножко богатства? А бог ему ответил: — Я каждый день тебе слал «Уникальный способ разбогатеть без усилий», «Заработок в интернете за несколько часов» и «Реальный способ зарабатывать $5000 в неделю» — ты бы хоть раз по ссылке прошёл!

https://t.me/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa/58?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa

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[{"ner":"Господи","lemma":"господи","label":"PER","start_pos":62,"end_pos":69},{"ner":"5000","lemma":"5000","label":"NUM","start_pos":374,"end_pos":378},{"ner":"$5000 ","lemma":"$5000 ","label":"DATE","start_pos":373,"end_pos":379}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

В Ереванское КБ приезжает японская делегация. Главный инженер-армянин рассказывает: — Вот тут у нас сидят 8 инженеров, вот тут 12, вот тут 16. Японец: — А у нас на весь завод приходится всего 7 инженеров! Делегация уезжает, главный инженер задумчиво идёт домой, задумчиво ужинает, ложится в кровать, ворочается полночи и думает: — Ну шесть понятно. А с кем седьмой в нарды играет?!

https://t.me/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa/59?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa

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[{"ner":"Ереванское КБ","lemma":"ереванский кб","label":"ORG","start_pos":2,"end_pos":15},{"ner":"8","lemma":"8","label":"NUM","start_pos":106,"end_pos":107},{"ner":"12","lemma":"12","label":"NUM","start_pos":127,"end_pos":129},{"ner":"16","lemma":"16","label":"NUM","start_pos":139,"end_pos":141},{"ner":"7","lemma":"7","label":"NUM","start_pos":192,"end_pos":193}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Южный полюс. Сидит чукча и геолог. - Геолога, сказы, зенсина совсем белый бывает? - Бывает - А совсем черный бывает? - Бывает - А зенсина на половину черный, наполовину белый бывает? - Hет, не бывает. - Значит, это был пингвин

https://t.me/anekdronti/332?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdronti

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[{"ner":"Южный полюс","lemma":"южный полюс","label":"LOC","start_pos":0,"end_pos":11}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Поймала женщина золотую рыбку, рыбка ей говорит: - Отпусти меня, и я исполню любое твоё желание! - Хочу, чтобы муж никогда не говорил слово "нет". - Готово! Возвращается жена домой и говорит мужу: - Дорогой, купи мне шубу. - Да пошла ты нахуй!

https://t.me/anekdronti/333?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdronti

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NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Сын приходит домой с серьгой в ухе. Отец смотрит на него и говорит: - Знаешь, сынок, испокон веков, сережки в ушах носили либо пираты, либо пи…расы. Я сейчас выгляну в окно, и не дай Бог, там не стоит твой корабль…

https://t.me/anekdronti/334?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdronti

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NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Мужик обнаружил, что в магазине продаются новые презервативы Олимпийские. Потрясенный необычным названием, он купил упаковку. Придя домой, он тут же рассказал о своей покупке жене. — Олимпийские презервативы? И чем же они так особенны? — спросила она. — Там три цвета. Золотой, серебряный и бронзовый. — И какой цвет ты собираешься использовать сегодня ночью? — Конечно же золотой! — Почему бы тебе не взять серебряный? Будет совсем неплохо, если для разнообразия ты кончишь вторым. @batin_mood

https://t.me/batin_mood/1072?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/batin_mood

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[{"ner":"Мужик","lemma":"мужик","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":5}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Заходит в автобус панк и садится напротив очень пожилого человека. Все тело покрыто пирсингом. Одежда вся порезана и висит лахмотьями. Волосы парня покрашены в четыре цвета желтый, красный, синий и зеленый, в ушах огромные серьги с яркими красными, оранжевыми и зелеными перьями. И пока они едут старик не отрываясь смотрит на панка. Парень ерзал-еразл, и спрашивает: — Чем привлек внимание, дедуля? Или ты не был молодым и не делал чего-то дикого? Пенсионер ответил без промедления: — Да, когда я был очень молодым я служил в морском флоте, и однажды в Сингапуре напился в гавань, и тр#хнул попугая. Я вот думаю, не мой ли ты сын? @batin_mood

https://t.me/batin_mood/1073?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/batin_mood

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[{"ner":"Сингапуре","lemma":"сингапур","label":"LOC","start_pos":554,"end_pos":563}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Казахский гроссмейстер за один ход съел два коня.

https://t.me/dimonster69/219?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/dimonster69

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Встречаются две подруги. Одна другой говорит: — Мой муж за ночь аж 6 раз может! Через неделю встречаются их мужья: — Как у тебя 6 раз за ночь получается? Моя меня совсем замучила! — Не обращай внимания, это она туда—сюда считает.

https://t.me/fhjoiyfs/883?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/fhjoiyfs

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[{"ner":"6","lemma":"6","label":"NUM","start_pos":67,"end_pos":68},{"ner":"6","lemma":"6","label":"NUM","start_pos":128,"end_pos":129}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

— Алле, мама? Час ночи, а мужа нет дома! Наверняка у любовницы! — Дочь, успокойся…Что ты сразу о плохом… Может его машина сбила.

https://t.me/fhjoiyfs/884?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/fhjoiyfs

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[{"ner":"Алле","lemma":"алле","label":"PER","start_pos":2,"end_pos":6}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Жена мужу: — В Африке есть племена, где мужья продают своих надоевших им жён. Если бы мы там жили, ты бы меня продал? — Ирка, что ты?! Я бы тебя подарил.

https://t.me/fhjoiyfs/885?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/fhjoiyfs

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[{"ner":"Африке","lemma":"африка","label":"LOC","start_pos":15,"end_pos":21},{"ner":"Ирка","lemma":"ирка","label":"PER","start_pos":120,"end_pos":124}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Звонок в турагентство. Звонящие спрашивает оператора, продает ли она туры в Швецию. Тот отвечает, что, конечно, продает. Клиент уточняет, а какие города там есть? Оператор отвечает: — Гётеборг, Стокгольм, Мальме, Кальмар… — Стокгольм, точно Стокгольм подходит! — Когда вы собираетесь поехать? — А нет, мы тут кроссворд разгадываем.

https://t.me/likeandsmile/164?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/likeandsmile

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Продавец: - Салат "Греческий" просрочен, что делать? Менеджер: - Напиши "Древнегреческий"!

https://t.me/likeandsmile/165?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/likeandsmile

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Сегодня на улицу выходить не буду, там и так скользко, а тут еще я со своей сногшибательностью!

https://t.me/likeandsmile/166?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/likeandsmile

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NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Однажды лиса прогуливалась по лесу. Шла, шла и услышала из кустов "ку-ка-ре-ку". Разгоняется, прыгает в кусты и тишина... Спустя час из кустов выходит волк, застегивая ширинку, и говорит: -Как же хорошо знать иностранные языки.

https://t.me/schrodingerandcat/185?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/schrodingerandcat

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POSITIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

у мужика вздулся живот. Он к врачу. А врач решил приколоться и говорит: "Э, да ты беременный". Мужик в панике: "Дайте самое сильное средство чтобы был выкидыш". Врач даёт ему слабительное. Пей, говорит, по одной таблетке в день. Ну мужик сразу горсть и выпил. Идёт на измене по улице и тут прихватило, ну всё думает, рожаю. Оглядывается и видит открытый канализационный люк, присел над ним и сделал сброс. А в люке сантехник, орет: "Ой, мамочка" и пытается вылезти весь в говне. У мужика вообще крышу снесло, толкает его ногой обратно в люк и орет: "Нет у тебя мамы. Сирота ты, сирота!!!!!"

https://t.me/schrodingerandcat/186?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/schrodingerandcat

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[{"ner":"мужика","lemma":"мужик","label":"PER","start_pos":2,"end_pos":8}]

NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Заходит девушка в аптеку и спрашивает фармацевта(д-девушка, ф - фармацефт): Д - Здравствуйте, у вас есть таблетки от температуры? Ф - Конечно, у нас много препаратов. Какая температура? Высокая? Д - Да, где-то 45.8 Ф - Девушка, вы чего? С такой температурой не живут.. Д - Ладно, извините.. И умерла НАХУЙ

https://t.me/schrodingerandcat/187?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/schrodingerandcat

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NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Попали в ад бизнесмен, президент и учитель. Президент спрашивает у черта: - Можно позвонить, узнать, как там мой народ? Черт разрешил. Президент поговорил 5 минут, спрашивает: сколько? - Черт: 5000 долларов! - Заплатил. Бизнесмен: - Я тоже хочу позвонить, как там мой бизнес. Черт разрешил. Бизнесмен за 2 минуты уложился, спрашивает: сколько? - Черт: 5000000 долларов! Заплатил. Учитель: ну дай я позвоню? Позвонил в школу и 8 часов: про уроки, учеников, оценки, педсоветы, отчеты, мероприятия, дневники, журналы, аттестацию, контрольные, портфолио... Закончил, спрашивает черта: сколько? - Черт: бесплатно. Бизнесмен и президент: почему?! Из ада в ад внутри сети бесплатно! @shutkaru

https://t.me/shutkaru/2311?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/shutkaru

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

10й класс. Идет урок биологии. Народ, Вооружившись микроскопами, изучает строение клетки... Училка просит публику с помощью специальной палочки соскоблить "мазок" с внутренней поверхности щеки, поместить его на маленькое стеклышко и заценить это дело в микроскоп. По ходу процесса училка объясняет, что, так как клетки не способны к движению, то картинка получается статичной, но в микроскоп можно наблюдать цитоплазму, ядро и т.д. И вдруг... Одна из девочек сообщает: - А у меня, типа, клетки двигаются!.. Училка сразу дует к ней, пофтыкать в чам дело... Фтыкает пару секунд... И вдруг заявляет: - Дети, давайте все скорее сюда у вас есть редкая возможность увидеть, как выглядит живой сперматозоид!" @shutkaru

https://t.me/shutkaru/2312?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/shutkaru

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[{"ner":"10","lemma":"10","label":"NUM","start_pos":0,"end_pos":2}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Представьте себе. Чемпионат мира по борьбе. Серега всех победил. И тут финальный бой! На ринг выходит неимоверно здоровая дитина. — Все, говорит тренер своему подопечному, тебе каюк, не выиграешь ты этот бой нифига. Все я не хочу смотреть на этот позор, пойду лучше домой. Пришел тренер домой, смотрит новости и слышит что эго подопечный Серега просто разорвал противника и зовоевал чемпионский титул. Тот сразу звонит Сереге и говорит: — Как ты смог его победить? — Слушай — боремся мы, значит, тут он скрутил меня просто в бублик, я смотрю яйца висят я за них и укусил... — И что, спрашивает тренер? — Что, что — можешь себе представить человека который сам себя укусил за яйца... Анекдоты от дяди Миши 😂

https://t.me/smeh_76/6506?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smeh_76

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[{"ner":"Серега","lemma":"серёга","label":"PER","start_pos":44,"end_pos":50},{"ner":"Сереге","lemma":"сереге","label":"PER","start_pos":419,"end_pos":425},{"ner":"Слушай","lemma":"слушай","label":"PER","start_pos":467,"end_pos":473},{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":701,"end_pos":705}]

NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

В зоопарке: — Папа, что-то горилла очень зло на нас посмотрела... — Спокойно, сынок — это еще только касса. Анекдоты от дяди Миши 😂

https://t.me/smeh_76/6507?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smeh_76

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[{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":125,"end_pos":129}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Мужик приходит на почту отправлять посылку. В зале - ни одного человека, а приемщица читает газету. Мужик обращается к ней: - Я бы хотел... Приемщица: - Мужчина, встаньте в очередь! И продолжает читать газету. - Простите, но здесь... - Мужчина, я вам что, не ясно сказала? Встаньте в очередь! Читает газету дальше. Тут мужик разозлился и как плюнет ей в рожу. Приемщица: - Да вы что себе позволяете, хам! Сейчас милицию вызову! - А почему вы думаете, что это я? Посмотрите, сколько здесь народу!

https://t.me/smehaha_tg/564?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Блондинка приходит в самолет, занимает место у окна. К ней подходит мужчина и говорит: - Девушка пройдите на свое место. Блондинка отвечает: - Мне и тут хорошо. Мужчина: - Ну тогда бери штурвал и взлетай.

https://t.me/smehaha_tg/565?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

— как зовут рокершу-девственницу? — нирванка

https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/587?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Картавый мафиози вылижет всю твою семью.

https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/588?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Уcтроил как то князь Bладимир Ясно–Солнышко пир на весь мир. Пьёт, гуляет и тут одна девица ему приглянулась. Приказал усадить её рядом с собой. И вот сидит красавица с князем, а тот её яствами заморскими и винами сладкими потчует, да расспрашивает откуда, кто родители, сколько лет. Девица захмелела, набралась смелости и спрашивает: "Превеликий Государь, а почему Вас называют Ясно–Солнышко?" А князь ей отвечает: - Видишь всех этих людей? Они пьют, едят и веселятся. Но пройдёт какое–то время и они разойдутся по домам. А ты останешься и будешь сосать мой х@й. Ясно, солнышко?

https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/589?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR

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[{"ner":"Ясно–Солнышко","lemma":"ясно–солнышко","label":"PER","start_pos":30,"end_pos":43},{"ner":"Ясно–Солнышко","lemma":"ясно–солнышко","label":"PER","start_pos":379,"end_pos":392}]

NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Молодая жена жалуется матери: - Прошло только шесть дней со свадьбы, а сегодня он ушел спать другую комнату. - Не волнуйся, детка, - утешает ее мать. - Господь Бог на седь день и тот должен был отдохнуть от трудов праведных. Анекдоты и Шутки StandUp чат • истории

https://t.me/Stories100500/6154?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Stories100500

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

- Дорогая, скоро мы будем жить в дорогой квартире, как ты хотела! - Мы переезжаем? - Нет, нам повысили кварплату... Анекдоты и Шутки StandUp чат • истории

https://t.me/Stories100500/6155?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Stories100500

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

У ребенка 4—х лет есть санки. На санках под сиденьем написана фамилия (чтобы в детском саду не перепутать с чужими). И ребенок вдруг просит: — Пап, надо эту надпись стереть, потому что у Максима такие же санки, и мы их путаем. Папа объясняет: — Здесь же написана фамилия как раз наоборот, чтоб найти свои санки. Ребенок поясняет: — У Максима тоже под сиденьем написана его фамилия. Пап, ну ты головой думаешь? Мы же читать еще не умеем! 🤣 Анекдоты тут

https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/434?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot

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[{"ner":"Максима","lemma":"максим","label":"PER","start_pos":187,"end_pos":194},{"ner":"Максима","lemma":"максим","label":"PER","start_pos":334,"end_pos":341},{"ner":"4","lemma":"4","label":"NUM","start_pos":10,"end_pos":11}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Разговаривают две соседки: — Мой зять работает в основном с этими, как их.. контактерами. Которые инопланетян видели, тарелки. — Он у тебя че, уфолог? — Нет, нарколог. 🤣 Анекдоты тут

https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/435?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Подъезжает фермер к соседу, тоже фермеру. — Джексон, скажите, ваша лошадь курит? — Нет. — Тогда у вас конюшня горит 🤣 Анекдоты тут

https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/436?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot

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[{"ner":"Джексон","lemma":"джексон","label":"PER","start_pos":44,"end_pos":51}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Учительница велела ученикам принести в школу медицинские инструменты, кто что может: ножницы, пинцет, шприц... Вовочка принес дыхательный аппарат. Учительница спрашивает: — Вовочка, где ты его взял? — У дедушки, — отвечает Вовочка. — А что он тебе сказал? — Ап-ап-ап... 🤣 Анекдоты тут

https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/437?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot

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[{"ner":"Вовочка","lemma":"вовочка","label":"PER","start_pos":111,"end_pos":118},{"ner":"Ап-ап-ап","lemma":"ап-ап-ап","label":"LOC","start_pos":258,"end_pos":266}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Джин говорит парню -Я исполню любое твое желание, но у твоего врага будет это же желание но в двойне, дак что же ты хочешь? -Отца

https://t.me/anegdotofff/990?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anegdotofff

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[{"ner":"Джин","lemma":"джин","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":4}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Утро в английской семье. Отец читает газету, мать и дочь завтракают, служанка подаёт еду. Вдруг отец говорит: — Какие дикие нравы в Африке. Вот здесь пишут, что юную девушку изнасиловал взвод солдат! Мать (испуганно): — Ох! Взвод солдат! Дочь (мечтательно): — Ах! Взвод солдат! Служанка (презрительно): — Ха! Взвод солдат!

https://t.me/anegdotofff/991?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anegdotofff

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[{"ner":"Африке","lemma":"африка","label":"LOC","start_pos":132,"end_pos":138}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Арабские ученые доказали, что баран родить не может, но эксперементы, все же ,продолжили

https://t.me/anegdotofff/992?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anegdotofff

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Женщина должна хвалить мужчину, но не перехваливать. Поэтому после секса она должна говорить: - Было всё очень хорошо, но меня ебали по лучше.

https://t.me/anegdotofff/993?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anegdotofff

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NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Решил ласково назвать жену "моя толстожопенькая...". В принципе, я и так собирался к стоматологу... 😄

https://t.me/anekdot_m_zh/4453?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdot_m_zh