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Pun_recognition

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hom_1542

This is a play on words. The expression "one good turn deserves another" means if someone does you a favor you should repay it. However, here "turn" refers to how race tracks contain multiple turns as the cars race around in a circular direction.

The builders of raceways believe that one good turn deserves another .

The given text is a pun

hom_1541

This is a play on words. The word "partial to" means having a liking for something but "partial" also means part of a larger whole and fractions are used to measure parts of a whole.

I strongly dislike the subject of math , however I am partial to fractions .

The given text is a pun

hom_154

This is a pun on 'pawn broker' which is an an individual or business that offers secured loans to people, with items of personal property used as collateral. But its also being used because 'pawn' is another word for a piece in chess

Someone who sells old chess pieces is a pawn broker .

The given text is a pun

hom_1539

The joke is a pun. Telephone operators connect phone callers to each other. To lose a connection could also be stretched to mean death.

OLD TELEPHONE OPERATORS never die , they just become disconnected .

The given text is a pun

hom_1534

A pump is a type of shoe with a medium heel. To pump someone for information means to aggressively get information from someone. This joke is about a shoe store break in, and centers on the different meanings of the word "pump".

When the shoe store owner discovered that someone had broken into his store , the police pumped him for information .

The given text is a pun

hom_1532

This is a pun on 'rich' which in food means a dish containing a large amount of fat, spices, sugar, etc, but in the regular sense 'rich' means having a great deal of money or assets which could be attributed to having a lot of coins

When some coins fell into the batter it turned out to be a rich cake .

The given text is a pun

hom_1527

This is a pun on the word "collect". To collect oneself means to calm down after an emotional event. The word Collect can refer to when you gather up something, like when the IRS gathers up people's tax money. It's kind of ironic for the IRS agent, whose job it is to collect tax money, to evade taxes himself.

When the shocked IRS agent was found guilty of tax evasion he had to take time to collect himself .

The given text is a pun

hom_1523

When someone says that something is key, they're saying it's an important factor. The text here is talknig about a door, and doors require keys to open. The text has two interpretations; there is only one way to open the door and that is important, or it means, there is only one way to open the door and that is with a key.

There is only one way to open the door and that is the key .

The given text is a pun

hom_1521

Bungee jumping is the activity of jumping from a high place while secured by a long rubber band tied around the ankles. To be suspended means to be supported by attachment from above, to be hanging. "Suspended" can refer to being prohibited from a place. So, if someone is suspended from school, then they are prohibited from going to school for however long they were told they must stay away. This joke is playing on the word "suspended" and its different uses.

Skipping school to bungee jump will get you suspended .

The given text is a pun

hom_152

The joke is a pun. Fabric stores sell cloth materials for sewing and creative works. When a comedian says they're looking for 'new material' they mean they are thinking up and writing new jokes.

The comedian stopped at the fabric store on his way to a comedy gig . He was looking for new material .

The given text is a pun

hom_1516

The joke is a pun. When someone gets a new house, they are moving or have 'moved' from one house to another. When someone feels 'moved' it means they feel impacted or changed by something.

This is a picture of my new house , said Tom , visibly moved .

The given text is a pun

hom_1513

Atmosphere can refer to the layer of gasses that surround the planet. Atmosphere can also refer to the mood of a place. Astronuats can literally be working in the Earth's atmosphere which can be nice, but the text can also mean the astronauts work in a pleasant place. This pun is playing on the word atmosphere.

Astronauts work in a nice atmosphere .

The given text is a pun

hom_1510

This is a play on words. Having a rough time means having a difficult time doing something. However, "rough" also means phsyically of coarse text, like sandpaper would be.

The inventor of sandpaper had a rough time of it .

The given text is a pun

hom_1507

When something goes "without a hitch" it means something happened without a problem. When horses get hitched, it means they get tied to a wagon. A carriage and a wagon are similar, they are both vehicles that carry something to move it from one place to another. A carriage will typically carry people, while a wagon carries people or things. The joke is playing on the word hitch and its different meanings.

The first time he put the horses on the carriage it went without a hitch .

The given text is a pun

hom_1505

A politcal party takes one side of a situation. Party not only means a group or a side of ideas, but it can also be used to describe a social gathering.

When you can ' t decide with your friends whose place to have a party at it ' s known as party politics .

The given text is a pun

hom_1504

This is a pun on 'functions' which in math means an expression, rule, or law that defines a relationship between one variable (the independent variable) and another variable (the dependent variable), but it also means an activity or purpose natural to or intended for a person or thing

OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die , they just lose some functions .

The given text is a pun

hom_1503

The joke is a pun. To be 'drawn' to something is to be attracted to it. 'Draw' also means writing on paper or some surface with pencils or some other coloring or writing tool, and is the way much of art is made.

I ' m drawn to art .

The given text is a pun

hom_1501

A cartoon is a simple drawing showing the features of its subjects in a humorous or a fictional way. Cartoons cans also refer to a motion picture that is made up of a sequence of drawings. Cartoons in a movie have to be animated. Animated means to give (characters in a movie) the appearance of movement using animation techniques. Animated also means lively and expressive. This is a play on the different meanings of the word animated.

To draw cartoons for a living requires someone who is very animated .

The given text is a pun

hom_15

This is a play on words. The word "toasted" refers to having made a speech praising someone but toasted also refers to what happens to bread when it's put in a toaster.

They threw a party for the inventor of the toaster . And he was toasted .

The given text is a pun

hom_1496

The joke is a pun on the phrase 'out of shape'. Being out of shape means that that person needs to exercise and eat better to remain healthy. Geometry is a math class about shapes.

I wondered why my geometry class was always tired . They were all out of shape .

The given text is a pun

hom_1495

The joke is a pun. Rolls of film have to be 'developed' so the image can form on the material. When a doctor says 'let's hope nothing develops' it usually means 'let's hope no health problems arise from this'.

Doctor , Doctor My little boy has just swallowed a roll of film ! - Hmmmm . Let ' s hope nothing develops . Next .

The given text is a pun

hom_1492

This is a pun. Being a sprinter means running in races or just for exercise. Running for office means to be campaigning for a political position.

At first he was was a sprinter , but then he decided to run for office .

The given text is a pun

hom_149

When someone or something is slow to register, it means it doesn't process thing quickly. A slow cashier might be slow at processing things, or, slow to register. A register is a device used by cashiers to take and receipt money, and to sum item values during a purchase.

With certain cashiers , things are slow to register .

The given text is a pun

hom_1486

This is a play on words. The word "candid" means truthful or straightforward but "candid" is also a type of photograph taken without the subject's knowledge.

Photographers are often very candid people .

The given text is a pun

hom_1479

This is a play on the word plot. Plot can mean a piece of land. Plot can also mean a storyline. The joke can mean that the garden was quite small, but it can also mean that the story didn't have much of a storyline.

I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden . It didn ' t have much of a plot .

The given text is a pun

hom_1471

This is a pun on 'folded' which in this context is meant to mean that the origami store closed it's business, but it's also being used because to make origami you must fold paper

Have you heard about that online origami store ? It folded .

The given text is a pun

hom_1470

A cow is a mammal found on farms. Cow tipping is when someone pushes a cow so they tip, or fall over. At a restaurant, waiters are tipped, or given payment for their services. The tip payment at a restaurant is extra. This joke is playing on the different meanings of the word tip.

I ' ve never tipped a cow . Then again , one has never served me food .

The given text is a pun

hom_147

These OLD [PROFESSIONS] never work because the puns are not allusions to death.

OLD STATISTICIANS never die , they just average out .

The given text is a pun

hom_1469

The joke is a pun on the word 'dated'. Dated can mean 'relevant to only a specific time', but it can also mean having gone on a date--a romantic outing with someone. The joke is that the jokes that aren't dated are married, and marriage generally comes after dating someone for a while.

Some jokes get dated , other jokes get married .

The given text is a pun

hom_1465

The joke is a pun. Mist is precipitation that stays floating in the air, usually in the form of fog. Not having 'the foggiest idea' of something means not having any idea, clue, or hint of something.

Don ' t get lost in the mist or else you won ' t have the foggiest idea where you are .

The given text is a pun

hom_1463

Concrete is a material used in the construction of highways. Highways are roads. Concrete can also mean being specific and definite about something, especially with proof. This joke is playing on the word "concrete" and its different meanings.

Highways today are much better than they were many years ago and there are lots of concrete examples of it .

The given text is a pun

hom_1462

The joke is a pun. Mother kangaroos have a pouch, or 'pocket,' on their belly that they use to carry their young in. To 'pocket' something also means to save it for later, such as saving money for when it might be needed in the future.

The mother kangaroo tried to instill good financial habits in her baby . She told him to pocket all his allowance .

The given text is a pun

hom_1458

This is a play on words. To "stamp out" something means to stop or destroy it but a postage "stamp" is a piece of paper affixed to a letter to indicate the amount of postage paid.

Stamp out excessive postage prices .

The given text is a pun

hom_1450

Discharged means to be released from obligation. An electrician is someone that installs or maintains electrical equipment. Electric discharge is the release and movement of electricity through a medium. This joke is playing on the word "discharge" and its different meanings.

Old electricians never die , they just get discharged .

The given text is a pun

hom_145

In medicine, a shot is an injection containing material for either immune support or perhaps pain relief. In bar talk, a shot is a 1.5 oz pour of alcohol.

A doctor who became a bartender was always giving out shots !

The given text is a pun

hom_1449

This is a pun on the phrase 'he'll be dealt with' meaning to take action to do something, especially to solve a problem. But it's also being used because card sharks are often dealt cards to play

He was the most dishonest and cleverest card shark in the city , the police said he will be dealt with .

The given text is a pun

hom_1442

This is a pun. "To harp" on something would mean to return to it or reference it repeatedly; a common image/conception of heaven is that angels in heaven play sweet-sounding instruments like the harp. Jenny in the joke believes she is going to heaven, but will be humble about it by not bringing it up frequently/repeatedly, or "harp" on it.

Jenny was sure she was going to Heaven but she wouldn ' t harp on it .

The given text is a pun

hom_1441

The joke is a pun. Tanners are people who 'tan' hides of animals, making leather or similar materials. 'Hiding' sounds like it may have something to do with animal hides, but it means to make oneself unseen or unnoticed.

OLD TANNERS never die they just go into hiding .

The given text is a pun

hom_1437

This is a pun on 'driven out' which means to cause or force (someone or something) to leave, but it's being used here because cars are used to be driven

The earliest mention of cars is in the Bible when Adam and Eve were driven out of the Garden of Eden .

The given text is a pun

hom_1435

This is a play on words. The word "advanced" means having brought forward an idea but an "advance" is an amount of money received upfront.

' ' Here ' s your allowance for the next two weeks , ' ' Tom advanced .

The given text is a pun

hom_1433

The joke is a pun. Making suits requires measuring the size of the person the suit is made for or at least following a common measurement for non-custom tailored suits. 'Measure up' is a phrase that means 'perform well' or 'rank well'.

I wanted to make suits but I could never measure up .

The given text is a pun

hom_1427

This is a play on words. A "roentgen" is a unit of ionizing radiation. The word "radiating" means emitting energy but "radiating" also means containing radiation, since "roentgens" are used to measure radiation.

Roentgen was radiating .

The given text is a pun

hom_1426

This is a play on words. To keep someone "in the loop" means to keep them updated or aware of information but here "in the loop" refers to how a hangman's noose is a loop tied to the end of a rope and used to hang people. Here, keeping the customer "in the loop" means hanging them from the loop on a hangman's noose.

Hangmen always keep their customers in the loop .

The given text is a pun

hom_1424

A wheelbarrow is a cart with a single wheel in the front and two supporting legs and handles at the back. A wheelbarrow is something people push when they move it around. "Don't let people push you around" is a saying meaning do not let people intimidate or coerce you into doing something you do not want to do. The person is saying that people tell them that they are a wheelbarrow and a wheelbarrow gets pushed around.

Doctor , doctor , people tell me I ' m a wheelbarrow . - Don ' t let people push you around . Next .

The given text is a pun

hom_1423

This is a play on words. A "guide" refers to someone who can help in navigating through the maze of TV channels but a TV "guide" is a magazine or website that tells what's on television at different times of the day.

On TV it ' s a maze of channels , luckily he had a guide .

The given text is a pun

hom_1421

The joke is a pun on the word state. State can mean a governed area, or it can mean the physical status of something. It sounds like the person speaking was saying her physical appearance was something amazing.

She was only a Governor ' s daughter , but what a state she was in .

The given text is a pun

hom_1419

The joke is a pun. 'Brushing off' someone means to be disregarding them or ignoring them due to something else having their attention. A dentist may 'brush' a patient's teeth with flouride or some other teeth cleaner.

My dentist seems distracted , I think he was brushing me off .

The given text is a pun

hom_1416

Having a falling out the end of a relationship due to unreconsilable differences. Moving in together is a stressful time, and might cause a falling out. A tree house is buidling built into the branches of a house, and a typically high up, so literally falling out would be dangerous.

My new girlfriend and I are moving together into a tree house , I hope we won ' t fall out .

The given text is a pun

hom_1412

This is a pun on 'gravitated' which means to move toward or be attracted to a place, person, or thing. But 'gravitated' can also mean descend or sink by the force of gravity, which is what happens to paratroopers since they fall from the sky

Wally wasn ' t sure in which branch of the Army he wanted to serve , but he gravitated toward the paratroops .

The given text is a pun

hom_1408

This is a pun on 'sentence' which a set of words that is complete in itself, typically containing a subject and predicate, conveying a statement, question, exclamation, or command, and consisting of a main clause and sometimes one or more subordinate clauses. However, in the context of lawyers/ the court system, 'sentecne' means the punishment assigned to a defendant found guilty by a court, or fixed by law for a particular offense.

If a lawyer speaks for too long there will be an extended sentence .

The given text is a pun

hom_1401

This is a pun on 'console' which initially means to comfort somone during a period of grief, but 'console' also means "a panel or unit accommodating a set of controls for electronic or mechanical equipment", or in lamens terms a video game system, which is what PlayStation is

When I had my PlayStation stolen , my family were there to console me .

The given text is a pun

hom_140

The joke is a pun. 'General' here has two meanings--the first is an official commanding rank in the armed forces, while the second means 'broad', 'average', or 'overall'.

Some commands given by the army are specific , others are General .

The given text is a pun

hom_14

Admitted means to confess to be true. Admitted can also mean to allow someone to enter a place. This pun is a play on the word admitted.

' ' There ' s room for one more , ' ' Tom admitted .

The given text is a pun

hom_1397

In bowling, a strike is a complete clear of all pins in one pass of ball. A striking resemblance means very similar looking. This pun is a play on the word striking, which refers to bowling and looking a like.

The two bowlers bore a striking resemblance .

The given text is a pun

hom_1395

Scales can refer to the scales on a fish, which are small bony plates on a fish. Scales can refer to musical scales, or a set of notes in order of their pitch. A fisherman fishes, but this fisherman is also a pianist. Scales in this case can mean fish scales or musical scales.

A fisherman who was also a pianist was an expert with scales .

The given text is a pun

hom_1393

This is a pun on "chimed in". In the context of joining a choir, "chimed in" means to join in on a song. The doorbell salesman also "chimes in" when he goes door to door ringing the bell.

A doorbell salesman joined the choir , and chimed right in .

The given text is a pun

hom_1391

To be well cultured is to be knowledgeable about the society you're in. When yogurt is cultured, it means there's beneficial bacteria in it.

People who like yogurt are well cultured .

The given text is a pun

hom_1389

Astronomical means a lot. Astronomical can also mean something that pertains to astronomy. Astronomy is the study of the stars and other celestial objects. The joke is playing on the word "astronomical" and its different meanings.

The cost of the space program is astronomical .

The given text is a pun

hom_1383

This is a pun on 'rattled' which in this context means to cause (someone) to feel nervous, worried, or irritated, like if you were bitten by a poisonous snake, but 'rattled' is also being used because a rattle snake is a famous type of poisonous snake

After that poisonous snake struck at me in the Arizona Desert I was really rattled .

The given text is a pun

hom_1382

This is a pun on the phrase 'lying in bed' which typically means one who is laying down in their bed, but it also works here because 'lying' also means when you tell a falsehood

If you tell a falsehood just after waking up you are lying in bed .

The given text is a pun

hom_1381

This is a pun on the phrase 'give it your best shot' which means to do the best that one can, but it's also being used because giving someone a vaccination, usually means giving someone a shot as in an injection of a drug or vaccine.

A young nurse was nervous about giving vaccinations but gave it her best shot .

The given text is a pun

hom_138

The joke is a pun. 'Pitch' can refer to the throwing of the baseball by the pitcher in the sport of baseball. 'Pitch' can also mean the tone of a one's singing.

If you sing while playing baseball , you won ' t get a good pitch .

The given text is a pun

hom_1379

The phrase "to give an opinion" means to share your thoughts on something. The joke is saying that people are often ready to give an opinion, and not all opinions are positive opinions.

The hardest thing for a person to keep is his opinion

The given text is a pun

hom_1377

The joke is play on the phrase 'drift apart'. When used in describing a relationship, 'drift apart' generally means that the love between the people is fading. They have a water bed, and in water one could drift away from somebody else just by a current or force in the water, or simply laying in the water and drifting.

When they bought a water bed , the couple started to drift apart .

The given text is a pun

hom_1374

This is a pun on 'dive' which in this context is referring to a shabby or sleazy bar or similar establishment. It's also being used since swimmers dive into pools

She was only a Swimmer ' s daughter , but she knew every dive in town . .

The given text is a pun

hom_1372

This is a pun about how try means to subject someone to trial, which is something judges do.

OLD JUDGES never die , they just cease to try

The given text is a pun

hom_137

The joke is a pun. 'Integral' is a mathematic function in calculus to find the area under a graph. 'Integral' can also mean crucially important.

Finding area is an integral part of calculus .

The given text is a pun

hom_1369

Wood shop is a class that involves creating structures from wood, and that can involve using nails. A nail is a small metal spike that can be used to connect pieces of wood together. To "nail" something can refer to doing exceptionally well in. This person "nailed" their wood shop test meaning that they did well on their test.

I nailed my wood - shop test .

The given text is a pun

hom_1368

The boy was in comfortable condition because he wasn't getting any nasty side effects, and the pillow probably felt comfortable.

The boy swallowed a pillow , the hospital described his condition as comfortable .

The given text is a pun

hom_1367

Ducks are known to have webbed feet, and a palm reading is when a medium reads a future or some other attribute via someones palm. The web is a term that means the internet, so instead of getting a hand reading, they look for it on the internet, where web can be used to describe both their webbed feet and the internet.

Ducks don ' t have their palms read - they look for it on the web .

The given text is a pun

hom_1363

This is a play on words. The word "dribbling" means to fall slowly in drops but here "dribbling" means to travel with the ball during a game of basketball.

OLD BASKETBALL PLAYERS never die they just go on dribbling .

The given text is a pun

hom_136

This is a pun on 'drain' which in this context means the plumber was deprived of strength or vitality, butit's also used because drains are a channel or pipe carrying off surplus liquid, especially rainwater or liquid waste, which is what plumbers specalize in

The plumber had to quit his job because it was too much of a drain .

The given text is a pun

hom_1358

Running is another word for jogging. "Three years running" refers to the amount of time this person was a jogger. Running here can used to explain the time period, but it ties in nicely with the person's activity which is jogging. Running and jogging are synonyms.

He has been a jogger for three years running .

The given text is a pun

hom_1357

This is a pun on 'axis' which is an imaginary line about which a body rotates, but 'axes' is used in it's place because it sounds similar and because woodcutters use axes to chop down trees/ wood

A woodcutter ' s world revolves on his axes .

The given text is a pun

hom_1352

The joke is a pun on the word 'boring'. To drill through the earth as an oil well driller, your drill bores through the ground. 'Bore' or 'boring' can also mean 'unentertaining' or very unenergetic. The job may be boring, but it is also a job that involves boring.

The oil well driller had a boring job .

The given text is a pun

hom_1351

This is a pun on 'undertaking' which in this sense means an ordeal (like opening a new business), but it's also used because 'undertaker' is a person whose business is preparing dead bodies for burial or cremation and making arrangements for funerals.

Opening a new funeral parlor can be quite an undertaking .

The given text is a pun

hom_135

Fruit has to become ripe before it is ready to eat. A fruit that ripens is a fruit that has developed to the point of readiness for harvesting and eating. "Living to a ripe old age" is an idiom meaning to live to a very old age.

The couple grew fruit trees and lived to a ripe old age .

The given text is a pun

hom_1349

A pointed question is a question that gets directly to the very important part of the issue. An index finger is used for pointing. The word "pointed" referencese the person's index finger but also the kind of questions the teacher asked.

A teacher used his index finger to ask a lot of pointed questions .

The given text is a pun

hom_1345

The joke is a play on words. The phrase 'good connections' can mean having networked and met people with ties to other positions, opportunities, or companies. A telephone operator connects one caller to another.

She was only a Telephone operator ' s daughter , but she sure had good connections .

The given text is a pun

hom_1344

Express mail is the fastest mail service offered by the Postal Service. A courier is someone that delivers mail. The word "express" can be found in "expressing". This joke is playing on the word "expressing" saying that old couriers don't die, they keep on delivering mail quickly.

OLD COURIERS never die , they just keep on expressing it !

The given text is a pun

hom_1342

The joke is a pun. A 'last resort' is a fall back plan to take when all other options fail. A resort is also a word for a vacation get away location, such as a beach side hotel with pools and spas. Their last resort option was also the last location on their list of resorts.

They argued about their vacation and finally stayed at the last resort .

The given text is a pun

hom_1339

The joke is a pun. To 'make a mark' is a phrase that means to make an impact or change so that others can see one's accomplishment. Pens are used to draw or make 'marks' on paper typically.

He bought lots of pens before starting his new job . He wanted to make his mark .

The given text is a pun

hom_1336

I think the joke is a pun. In chemistry, scientists study the way chemical compounds react to each other by introducing them to each other. A person 'not reacting' to other people can mean they are ignoring them or might be stretched to imply that they are dead.

OLD CHEMISTS never die , they just stop reacting .

The given text is a pun

hom_1334

The joke is a pun on the word 'impressed'. A branding iron brands cows by being pressed against the cow's skin. The saying makes it sound like the cows are surprised and content with the invention.

When the branding iron was invented cattle were very impressed .

The given text is a pun

hom_1332

This is a pun on 'connection' which in the conext of flying is a flight that requires passengers to change from one aircraft to another at a hub airport on the way to their final destination. But 'connection' is also used because the passenger is figured out what the problem was

The passenger couldn ' t find where his next flight was , but then he made the connection .

The given text is a pun

hom_133

A baker is someone who bakes breads or cakes. "Making lots of dough" is an expression that means making lots of money. It could be understood literally, so a person "making lots of dough" could be referring to a person making lots of bakery dough, something used to make cakes. This joke is playing on the term "making lots of dough".

OLD BAKERS never die , they just stop making lots of dough .

The given text is a pun

hom_1329

Stationery refers to commercially manufactured writing materials

Wal - Mart Is Not the Only Saving Place . Come On In .

The given text is a pun

hom_1326

This is a pun on 'guts' which in this context means personal courage and determination; toughness of character. But it's also being used because 'guts' is an informal term for organs

The doctor couldn ' t transfer the organs because he didn ' t have the guts to do it .

The given text is a pun

hom_1323

Lawyers are professionals that advise and represent clients in courts in front of a judge. When someone "loses their judgment" it means that they no longer have proper, clear understanding of a situation.

OLD LAWYERS never die they just lose their judgment .

The given text is a pun

hom_1317

Having a photographic memory means having the ability to remember information or visual images in great detail. When a picture is taken from a camera, the photographs from the camera need to get developed. The term devolped here means to hone one's memory, but in terms of photography it means to make negatives from a photographic film.

I really do have a photographic memory - - I just haven ' t developed it yet .

The given text is a pun

hom_1315

This is a pun on the word "credit". Some people believe that the Lord has power over what happens to you. So when good things happen, they give him credit and thank him. "Credit" can also mean a credit card. When you pay for something you can pay with credit card or cash.

Plenty of people give the lord credit . Few give him cash .

The given text is a pun

hom_1314

Breaking out in terms of skin condition can mean to have a case of acne, and breaking out in terms of prison means to escape or illegally exit. It's a pun where the inmates were given acne treatment that is typically used for skin acne prevention, but instead to prevent them from escaping prison.

The warden gave the inmates acne medicine hoping it would keep them from breaking out .

The given text is a pun

hom_1310

This is a pun on "skeleton". To plan a graveyard you need to first have an idea of the basic structure of it, with only the essential parts. They call it a skeleton idea because skeletons are the basic structure of the human body, and graveyards have lots of skeletons.

To plan a graveyard you need a skeleton idea before a detailed plan .

The given text is a pun

hom_1305

To "lose interest" is a saying that means to become bored with something. Interest is money earned at a particular rate for the use of money lent. Bankers loan money out to clients and then earn money on the interest on the loan. This joke is a play on the term to "lose interest".

OLD BANKERS never die they just lose interest .

The given text is a pun

hom_1304

The joke is a pun. 'Going out of commission' means to be knocked out, unable to continue, or dead. 'Commission' in terms of sales is when a sales person gets a bonus for the number of sales they make.

OLD SALESMEN never die , they just go out of commission .

The given text is a pun

hom_1301

Bombs usually have an impact (explosion), but the one in the joke made no impart (affect)

Have you heard the joke about the bomb ? It had no impact .

The given text is a pun

hom_1300

These OLD PROFESSIONS jokes rarely work because the puns are not metaphors for dying.

OLD JUDGES never die , they just slur their sentences

The given text is a pun

hom_1298

Pasteur is someone's name. To be "boiling" means to be angry. Louis Pasteur was a microbiologist that discovered and encouraged pasteurization. Pasteurization is the process of using heat, or boiling something in order to remove disease causing microbes. The joke is centered on the word "pasteur" as it means to boil, and Pasteur is boiling angry about not being invited.

Pasteur was boiling about not being invited .

The given text is a pun

hom_1296

The joke is a pun. Adding a 'highlight' to one's day means adding something to look forward to during the day, or something that makes the day a bit happier for them. Accenting text with a colored marker is called 'highlighting' it.

Students who accent their textbooks with color markers add a real highlight to their day .

The given text is a pun

hom_1295

This is a play on the word bust. A bust is a sculpture of a person's head to their shoulders. To bust something means to also break something. This sentence has two meanings. Statues don't die, they turn into busts.

OLD STATUES never die they just get busted .

The given text is a pun