Datasets:

OnAnOrange

/

Pun_recognition

like 1

hom_998

This is a pun on 'kidding' which in this context means the boy was joking about wanting to raise goats, but it's also used because 'kidding' is the term used for when goats give birth

A boy told his parents he wanted to raise goats for a living , but he was only kidding .

The given text is a pun

hom_996

When someone is "thrown" it can mean that they're surprised or confused. "Thrown" can also mean to propel something, typically by movement of the arm or hand. A catapult is a device used to launch, or throw objects. The entrepreneur's boss was completely surprised, or confused at the entreprenur's idea for designing catapults. This joke is centered on the word "thrown" and its different meanings.

The intelligent entrepreneur ' s idea for designing catapults meant that his boss was completely thrown .

The given text is a pun

hom_994

This is a pun on the word "stave". To stave off hunger means to keep from going hungry. A "stave" is a wooden part of a barrel. The termites are eating a stave so they can stave off hunger.

Why did the termites eat the wooden barrel ? To stave off hunger .

The given text is a pun

hom_993

The joke is a pun. Native Americans have been given reservations by the United States government, which are areas of land where tribal law takes effect. 'Reservations' can also mean a dinner reservation, or a saved table at a restaurant.

I wanted to have dinner at a native American themed restaurant , but I didn ' t have reservations .

The given text is a pun

hom_992

A gamekeeper is someone who is hired to breed and protect game. A poacher is someone who hunts for game illegally. A poached egg is a type of egg that is cooked more delicately, in simmering water instead of boiling water. This joke is playing on the word "poacher" because the word "poached" can relate to eggs, and not just having hunted something.

Getting this job managing a country estate has put me off fried eggs . I ' m a gamekeeper turned poacher .

The given text is a pun

hom_990

I think the joke is a pun on the word 'rows' meaning in a line, and sounds like 'rose' the flower. Roses are planted in dirt, and the speaker is saying you don't have to 'plant' yourself there, meaning you don't have to stay there.

Just because pews come in rows doesn’t mean we should plant ourselves there

The given text is a pun

hom_99

Doors have hinges. Hinges are a movable joint which a door swings on. Sometimes with repeated use and age, a door can become unhinged and will need to be fixed. To "become unhinged" can also refer to a mentally unbalanced, or deranged human being. The joke is referring to old door framers, and is playing on the word "unhinged".

OLD DOOR FRAMERS never die , they just become unhinged .

The given text is a pun

hom_985

The joke is a pun. Interpreters for the deaf use sign language to communicate for the deaf. The phrase 'sign off' means to clock out, log off, or exit.

OLD INTERPRETERS (for the deaf) never die , they just sign off .

The given text is a pun

hom_984

Getting jabbed in the back means getting stabbed, and in this case, the persons back locked up because it was from a set of keys. Keys unlock and lock things, and a back that is locked up means it is tense or frozen slightly due to stress somewhere muscularly.

Did you hear about the man who was jabbed in the back with a set of keys ? His back locked up .

The given text is a pun

hom_981

Stunning has multiple meanings. It can be used to describe someone as very attractive. It can also be used to explain shocking someone with a taser. The woman in this pun can be interpreted as someone very attractive, or someone using their taser to stun someone.

I knew a woman who owned a taser , man was she stunning !

The given text is a pun

hom_979

Nits is another word for lice. Head lice is a type of insect infestation that children can experience. Lousy means very poor or bad, and it can also mean infested with lice. The person in the joke has a "lousy memory", with lousy being cleverly used since the memory relates to lice. The joke is playing on the word "lousy" and its double meaning.

I can ' t remember ever getting nits as a kid , although I do have a lousy memory .

The given text is a pun

hom_976

The joke is a pun on the phrase 'pull yourself together'. The phrase is usually used to mean 'fix yourself' or 'get yourself back in a normal routine or good health'. One would also literally pull curtains together to close them.

Doctor , Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains - Well pull yourself together then . Next .

The given text is a pun

hom_969

This is a play on words. The phrase "cook the books" is slang for using accounting tricks to make a company's financial results look better than they really are. However, here "cooking" refers to the process of preparing meals in restaurants.

An accountant for a restaurant has to be sure the books are not cooked .

The given text is a pun

hom_968

Jumping to conclusions means judging something without having all the facts. Bad exercise can refer to bad judgment (a "bad exercise in judgment"). Bad exercise can also refer to exercise that does more harm than good, perhaps exercise that is performed with poor form. Jumping is a form of exercise.

Jumping to conclusions is bad exercise

The given text is a pun

hom_964

The joke is a pun. The leader of an orchestra or similar big band is a 'conductor' who uses their hands or a baton to que the musicians during performance. Not knowing how to 'conduct' one's self means not knowing how to take care of things alone or not knowing proper conduct or how to be responsible.

Musicians need a leader because they don ' t know how to conduct themselves .

The given text is a pun

hom_962

The joke is a pun on the word 'operate'. A doctor who goes into surgery would call the procedure 'operating'. The phrase 'knows how to operate' means they know the method of doing something. This could have many meanings, but the joke implies a sexual context.

She was only a Doctor ' s daughter , but she really knew how to operate .

The given text is a pun

hom_960

The joke is a pun. Roulette is a gambling game that involves spinning a wheel and rolling a ball in it. Saying someone has 'a different spin' on something means that they have an interesting point of view or opinion on something.

The roulette dealer had a unique personality . He had a different spin on everything .

The given text is a pun

hom_96

A bomb is an explosive device designed to explode when detonated. Blow up is another term for explode. Blow up also means to get extremely and openly angry. The joke is centered around the term "blow up" and using it to describe how a bomb inventor may act.

Don ' t argue with a bomb inventor - he might blow up at you .

The given text is a pun

hom_959

Frank Sinatra was a famous American singer. To "be frank" is to be candid, or open about something. Tom is being "perfectly frank" which can mean Tom is being perfectly direct, or Tom is impersonating Frank Sinatra perfectly.

I can do an excellent impression of Sinatra , said Tom , being perfectly frank .

The given text is a pun

hom_958

This is a play on words. Bread browned on both sides becomes toast but a business becoming toast means the business is ruined. When the bakery burns down, the bakery is ruined and "becomes toast" but the bread inside the building also "becomes toast" due to being exposed to heat from the flames.

My friend ' s bakery burned down last night . Now his business is toast .

The given text is a pun

hom_954

The joke is a pun. Typically when somebody says they were 'on the other line' when talking about phone calls, it means they were in another phone call. When a fish is 'on a line' it means it has bit the hook of a fishing rod and is caught with the fishing wire.

The fish missed the call because he was stuck on the other line .

The given text is a pun

hom_949

The joke is a pun. 'Don't knock it' is a phrase that means something along the lines of 'don't judge it yet'. One might knock a door by tapping it with their knuckles to alert someone on the other side to open the door.

When I commented on a friend ' s psychedelic door he said , Don ' t Knock It .

The given text is a pun

hom_946

A car is a vehicle people drive in. Driving means to operate a motor vehicle. "Driving ambition" means having a great desire to do or achieve something. It can also be taken in the literal sense, that someone has the ambition to drive (as in, operate a motor vehicle).

A boy saving up for a car has a lot of driving ambition .

The given text is a pun

hom_943

The joke is a pun. To 'leaf through' a magazine is to flip through the pages and just lightly skim over some of the pages without intently reading the whole thing. 'Leaf' is the singular form of the word 'leaves' which are the green parts that grow on trees and other plants to capture energy from sunlight.

The landscaper thought gardening magazines were fun to leaf through .

The given text is a pun

hom_941

"Change" is another word used to describe coins. Change can also mean to make different or modify. "No change yet"can mean "no difference yet" or "no coins yet". The joke is on the word "change" and how it has different meanings. It also relates to coins which is what the boy swallowed.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital . When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said ' No change yet ' .

The given text is a pun

hom_938

This is a play on words. The word "split" means to abruptly leave a place but "split" also refers to splitting or chopping trees down with an axe, as lumberjacks do.

OLD LUMBERJACKS never die , they just split .

The given text is a pun

hom_937

This is a pun on 'complex' which is this context is meaning a related group of emotionally significant ideas that are completely or partly repressed and that cause psychic conflict leading to abnormal mental states or behavior, but it's also being used because an alternative meaning of 'complex' is a group of similar buildings or facilities on the same site, like that of an apartment complex

I used to be afraid of purchasing residential property for the purpose of renting , but now I have an apartment complex .

The given text is a pun

hom_93

The joke is a play on words. 'Branch manager' is a management position of employment. 'Branch manager' could also be twisted to mean a manager of tree branches, as chainsaws are typically used to saw trees.

A guy became so good with a chainsaw that he was promoted to branch manager .

The given text is a pun

hom_929

These [PROFESSION]'s daughter jokes are not that clever or funny.

She was only a Electrician ' s daughter , but she went haywire .

The given text is a pun

hom_925

This is a pun on 'get docked' which in this context means to deduct (something, especially an amount of money), like you'd get docked pay if you showed up late for work. But it's also being used because longshoremen work on docks in the harbour

When longshoremen show up late for work they get docked .

The given text is a pun

hom_924

This is a pun on the word "cuts". Saws make cuts into wood. When a business loses money, they make "cuts", which means they get rid of expenses so they can earn more profit. The joke is about people who are in the business of making saws.

Saw makers losing money have to make lots of cuts .

The given text is a pun

hom_923

This is a play on words. Somenoe having "issues" means they have problems that make them unhappy or difficult to deal with but an "issue" is also a published version of a periodical, like a magazine.

You ' ve got more issues than Time magazine .

The given text is a pun

hom_920

This is a pun on the word 'blowup'. In this context, the word would usually mean an outburt of anger. However here it could be meant literally as an explosion since it was an argument between bomb squad personell

An argument at the Bomb Squad convention ended in a blowup .

The given text is a pun

hom_917

The joke is a pun. A blacksmith would 'fire up' a forge to smith metals. Getting 'fired up' may also mean to be very energetic and enthusiastic about something.

When he found out that he would visit a real blacksmith he got all fired up .

The given text is a pun

hom_916

The joke is in the use of the phrase 'well grounded' which means secure. In working with electricity, a ground line is a wire that connects to the ground to give a path for the electricity to travel and prevent short circuits and accidental shocks. An electrician would probably always try to be 'well grounded'

An Electrician ' s work is well grounded .

The given text is a pun

hom_915

Someone who is observant is someone that notices the little things. Observant can be used in other ways. To be observant of a holiday means to partake in that holiday. Holidays are often related to religion. To observe the Christmas holiday is to partake and celebrate Christmas. The joke is centered on the word "observant" and its different meanings.

To a person who is attentive to minutiae : ' ' You ' re certainly observant , even if you ' re not religious . ' '

The given text is a pun

hom_914

This is a pun on 'rare' which means (of an event, situation, or condition) not occurring very often, but it's also used because 'rare' is a stlye of meat you can get that isn't cooked much

Some people like raw meat on rare occasions .

The given text is a pun

hom_911

The joke is a pun. A garnishment is an order directing a third party to seize assets, usually wages from employment or money in a bank account, to settle an unpaid debt. Also, parsley is an herb that is used to 'garnish' some meals by being sprinkled as a topping to a dish.

The parsley farmer couldn ' t pay his child support , so the courts garnished his wages .

The given text is a pun

hom_910

A drone is a type of male bee. To drone means to speak tediously, in a dull monotonous tone. This joke is personifying bees, and is using the term drone to mean speaking tediously. The pompous male bees speak tediously about themselves.

Pompous male bees are often known to drone on about themselves .

The given text is a pun

hom_91

This would work better if it were better written. The 'root' of the problem refers to the source of the mass tree deaths, as well as being a pun on the roots of the trees themselves. Perhaps the problem lay at their literal roots!

A lot of trees were dying , but they needed to figure out the root of the problem .

The given text is a pun

hom_908

In botany, shoots are short plants that have just grown in. Bullets are metal projectiles that are used to fill guns. A gun is weapon that shoots bullets, or expels bullets. The joke is on the word "shoots" and its different meanings.

Did you hear about the guy who planted bullets ? He wanted to see a lot of little shoots .

The given text is a pun

hom_906

The joke is a pun. To 'plant' one's feet means to stand on the ground in a solid and firm manner. 'Plant' can also refer to the plant life growing in a garden or the act of putting one in the ground by burying its roots.

Gardeners like to plant their feet firmly .

The given text is a pun

hom_903

This is a pun on the phrase 'booming business' which is meant to mean a successful business, but it's also being used hee because dynamtie makes a booming sound when it goes off

The manufacturers of dynamite do a booming business .

The given text is a pun

hom_90

This is a pun on the word "chill". To Chill out means to relax. You can't chill out in Hell because it is a horrible place of suffering. The word chill" can mean to make the temperature cool. This joke is about the fires of Hell, which are very hot and, unlike other fires, you cannot extinguish them, so you cannot cool down in Hell.

No one chills out in the fires of hell .

The given text is a pun

hom_9

"Too deep" can mean too difficult, but it can also refer to something that extends far down into the ground. A mine shaft is a vertical hole, or a horizontal tunnel that gives access to a mine. A mine shaft is often dug deep underground. A mine is an excavation site. The discussion regarding the new mine shaft was "too deep" or "too difficult" for him. The joke is playing on the term "too deep" and its different meanings.

A discussion of digging a new mine shaft was too deep for him .

The given text is a pun

hom_898

This is a pun on the phrase 'for the birds' which means something as useless, meaningless, or only believed by the gullible, but it's also being used because in the game of badminton, players hit shuttlecocks or birdies

Badminton players are for the birds .

The given text is a pun

hom_897

Thimbles are used to protect fingertips from harm when doing needlework, in this case getting stuck with a needle.

Just after thimbles were invented there was a shortage , so many people got stuck without one .

The given text is a pun

hom_890

This is a pun that is meta on the concept of being tired of sleeping, or getting sick of/being bored or sleeping. Feeling tired is also what you feel when you want to sleep, so it's an oxy moron.

Do you ever get tired of sleeping ?

The given text is a pun

hom_886

The joke is a play on words. To say 'it wasn't working out' implies that something didn't mesh well or it wasn't appropriate or wanted. 'Working out' however is a phrase that means exercising, typically in a gym or outside. A personal trainer may typically work at a gym.

The personal trainer quit his job because it wasn ' t working out .

The given text is a pun

hom_881

This is a play on words. The phrase "follow their tracks" means to pursue something by following the traces they've left behind. However, here " follow their tracks" means to follow the train tracks, or the railroad that trains operate on.

How do you find a missing train ? Follow the tracks .

The given text is a pun

hom_88

The joke is a pun. Fire fighters put out flames that have overtaken a building. A 'match' can mean both a round in a contest or competition, or it can refer to the small sticks that have flammable material that catches fire when struck against a surface.

A contest held by fire fighters is called a ' match ' .

The given text is a pun

hom_876

An electrician is someone who works on electrical development within buildings, often instsalling eletrical outlets where someone plugs something into to make that object powered. Plugging away is an expression that means to continue doing something without hesitation.

Old electricians never die , they just keep plugging away .

The given text is a pun

hom_873

To be spent is to be exhausted. Spent is also a word used to explain that you've paid out money on goods or services. An investor is someone who puts money into an organization or entity with the goal of receiving some kind of interest on the amount they put in.

When the investor came home from work he was spent .

The given text is a pun

hom_872

This is a pun. Being 'on the right track' generally means heading toward success. The speaker says you might get run over if you stay there, implying that they were talking about physically standing on train tracks.

Even if you ' re on the right track , you ' ll get run over if you just sit there .

The given text is a pun

hom_871

The word bundle tends to get associated with hay. To "make a bundle" is a saying that means to make a lot. The pun here can refer to making a lot of money through a hay bailing machine, or it can mean the hay bailing machine created a lot of bundles of hay.

The inventor of a hay baling machine made a bundle .

The given text is a pun

hom_870

If something is "clogged up" it means that it's blocked. Dutch shoes are called clogs. Dutch shoes used to be made in a factory until the factory got clogged up, or blocked up. This pun is playing on the word "clog".

Dutch shoes used to be made in a factory machine , until it got clogged up .

The given text is a pun

hom_868

"Entrance" is seen in the word "entranced". An entrance is a door that is used to go into a building. Entranced means to be carried away with wonder or delight. This joke is playing on the word "entranced" and the word "entrance" which we see in it.

' ' I just came in through the door , ' ' said Tom , entranced .

The given text is a pun

hom_860

Diabetics are people with diabetes, or a condition where their bodies cannot produce insulin and regulate blood sugar naturally. Sweet dreams are generally good dreams, but this pun is refering to a sweet dream in the sense of sugar sweetness.

Diabetics should not be allowed to have sweet dreams .

The given text is a pun

hom_86

It sounds like the person is discussing music recordings collected. A record is a circular, plastic disk that carries music. A record can also be less specific and refer to anything that explains a past event. A journal, for example, can be considered a record. This joke is playing on the word "records" as it pertains to music, but also memory storing.

For every 45 I collected , I would write down the song and the artist so I could keep records .

The given text is a pun

hom_858

The word "digit" means finger. Digital means involving or relating to the use of computer technology. The joke is centered on the word digital, because it has the word "digit" in it which means finger, and fingers overlap in prayer.

Hands in Prayer : Already Digital

The given text is a pun

hom_855

The joke is a pun. 'Change' can mean alteration, or a difference. It can also mean coins from currency. In this case, it sounds like the person is talking about a change in lifestyle or current events, but then they say they put change in the parking meter, so they were talking about coins after all.

How do I handle change ? I put it in the parking meter .

The given text is a pun

hom_854

A running track is a rubberized, running surface for track and field athletics. Competitive running races are run on it. A track meet is a meet where people race against each other on the track. How something is "going to run" means how something will proceed. It's clever that "going to run" was used for "going to proceed" because it has the word run in it, and a track meet is the subject discussed. The joke is playing on the word "run" and its different meanings.

Here is how the track meet is going to run . . .

The given text is a pun

hom_852

A massage involves a licensed professional touching your body in areas of muscle to relax them. A nice touch is a common phrase used to comment on the quality of something extra.

The massage which came with the spa treatment was a nice touch .

The given text is a pun

hom_851

To be "swept up" by something is to be carried by the momentum of something bigger than yourself. Janitors are people that keep a building clean, with sweeping being something done. It's clever that the phrase "swept up" was use since "swept" is what a janitor would do to keep a building clean. This joke is playing on the word swept.

OLD JANITORS never die they just get swept up .

The given text is a pun

hom_85

An orthopedist is a doctor that is knowledgeable in taking care of the body's skeletal structure. To be correct is to be free from error. So, to "stand corrected" can be taken in the literal sense (a person's skeletal structure is now correct) or the figurative sense (I admit that I was wrong and will stand here corrected).

Admitting a mistake : ' ' Like the orthopedist ' s patient , I stand corrected . ' '

The given text is a pun

hom_847

"Soon drop off" can mean "soon drop off to sleep". "Soon drop off" can also mean "soon drop off the bed onto the floor". This joke is playing on the different interpretations of "soon drop off".

Doctor , Doctor , I can ' t get to sleep . - Sit on the edge of the bed and you ' ll soon drop off . Next .

The given text is a pun

hom_845

A pair of shoes will contain a shoe for a left foot and right foot. If something is "not right" it can often mean that something is not correct. This joke is taking the dual meaning of someone feeling like the shoes are somehow not correct, or it can be interpreted as one of the shoes being for a left foot.

One of these new shoes isn ' t right .

The given text is a pun

hom_838

A telephone operator is someone who provides assistance with establishing a connection between two people on the phone. For something to be someone's "calling" means that the something referred to is their life's purpose. It's clever that the writer is using the word "calling" while referring to a telephone operator.

She became a telephone operator because it was her calling .

The given text is a pun

hom_836

This is a pun on the word "leaked". The news was "leaked", meaning it got out accidentally. "Leaked" can also refer to when water seeps out of or into an enclosed space through a crack or other small opening. When you have a flood, water can leak into buildings or houses.

News of a coming flood was leaked .

The given text is a pun

hom_835

This is a pun on 'clean getaway' which means fleeing the scene in a quick and unnoticeable manner. It's used here because soap is associated with cleaning things

A man stole a case of soap from the corner store . The police said he made a clean getaway .

The given text is a pun

hom_834

The joke is a pun. A 'crown' in dentistry is a cap to go on top of damaged teeth. Another typical use of 'crown' is for the regal headwear that royalty is known for wearing.

They called him the king of the dentists because he specialized in crowns .

The given text is a pun

hom_833

Clockmakers are people that make clocks, which are instruments that tell time. A clock can sometimes make the sound "cuckoo" to alert people what the time is. To say someone is "cuckoo" is to imply that they are menally unsound. This joke is centered around the word "cuckoo" and its different meanings.

Some clockmakers are normal , but others are a little cuckoo .

The given text is a pun

hom_83

The joke is a pun. Glue is used to join things together by adhering them. To join something back together would be to 'rejoin'. Another meaning of 'rejoin' is to say something in answer to a remark, typically rudely or in a discouraging manner.

Superglue ! Tom rejoined .

The given text is a pun

hom_829

A convict is someone who is guilty of criminal offense and is serving a sentence of imprisonment. A prison has bars, or long metal poles that keep a convict away from others they might hurt. Bars could refer to music, or places where people get alcoholic beverages. This joke is a play on the word "bars" and its different meanings.

She was only a Convict ' s daughter , but she sure knew all of the bars .

The given text is a pun

hom_825

The joke is a play on words. Magicians are known for illusions of 'turning' something into something else--transforming it. To 'turn into' something can also mean taking a turn while traveling and go inside a place or in a different direction. The original sentence sounds like the magician transformed into a drug store when they probably just entered it.

The other day I saw a magician walk down the street and turn into a drugstore .

The given text is a pun

hom_820

This is a pun on the phrase 'work for peanuts' which means to work for very little compensation. But it's being used here because elephants famously eat peanuts

Elephants will toil all day , and they work for peanuts .

The given text is a pun

hom_815

This is a play on words. The word "down" means upset but "down" is also the feather of a duck.

When a duck is feeling down he might just be happy .

The given text is a pun

hom_812

Someone that "draws their last breath" is someone that takes their last breath. The person that is drawing their last breath here can mean so in the literal and figurative sense because the person discussed is a cartoonist. A cartoonist is someone that draws cartoons.

OLD CARTOONISTS never die , they just draw their last breath .

The given text is a pun

hom_810

This is a pun on the phrase 'don't fret' which simply means not to worry, and it's being used here because 'fret' also means a repeating ornamental design of interlaced vertical and horizontal lines, such as the Greek key pattern, which guitars have

If you break a string on your guitar don ' t Fret .

The given text is a pun

hom_806

Faraday was an English scientist who made contributions in the study of electromagnetism. A faraday is a unit of electric charge. To be charged up about something means to be excited by something. To charge up sometthing also means to use electricity to restore a devices battery life. The joke is playing on the term "charged up".

Faraday was charged up with the idea .

The given text is a pun

hom_8

A vault is a large room for storage of valuables. Banks often have vaults to store valuables. In sports, a high jumper is someone that jumps over a bar without any help from a pole that a pole vaulter would use. In sports, vaulting, or pole vaulting, is when someone tries to jump over a bar while using a flexible pole. I think the joke is trying to combing banking terminology with track and field terminology, since we see that crossover in the word "vault".

A bank manager who was also a high jumper spent most of his time in the vault .

The given text is a pun

hom_799

This is a pun on "dry". Dry humor is a type of humor in which the person telling the joke shows no emotion. The word "dry" means to make something not wet. The purpose of a towel is to wipe off water to make something dry.

If towels could tell jokes they would probably have a dry sense of humor .

The given text is a pun

hom_796

The joke is a pun. 'Light' has two meanings here. A light workload means not a large number of tasks or a difficult work load. 'Light' also can mean that it is involving working on the lights or lamps that the manufacturer makes.

A manufacturer that made lamps gave their employees a light workload .

The given text is a pun

hom_793

This is a play on words. A fire "going out" when unattended means the fire stops burning if you stop giving it kindling. A husband "going out" when unattended means the husband will "go out" or leave if he's not receiving attention.

Husbands are like fires . They go out when unattended .

The given text is a pun

hom_791

This is a pun on 'cutting it'. If something 'isn't cutting it', it's taken to mean that it's not fully doing it's job/ not working. It's also being used here because when you mow the grass, you're cutting it

I needed a raise in my allowance . Mowing the grass all summer just wasn ' t cutting it .

The given text is a pun

hom_790

An argument that blows over is an argument that ends. "Blew over" in terms of weather can refer to extremely windy weather that is blowing everything down. This joke is playing on the term "blew over".

A husband and wife argued over the weather , but it soon blew over .

The given text is a pun

hom_787

"You haven't changed" can refer to someone's personality, as in, their personality has not changed after so many years. It can also mean clothes, as in, the wife of the former client is saying that the person has not changed their clothes and they're shocked. The joke is playing on the different interpretations of "you haven't changed".

At a conference , I unexpectedly encountered the wife of a former client , whom I hadn ' t seen in 20 or more years . ' ' You haven ' t changed ! ' ' she exclaimed . ' ' There ' s plenty of time for that , ' ' I replied . ' ' The dinner isn ' t until this evening . ' '

The given text is a pun

hom_785

This is a pun on 'clammed up' which means to become silent, and it's also being used because bivalve's are a type of mollusk, aka clam

Did you hear about the bivalve they called in to interrogate for that big murder investigation ? Apparently , he ' s clammed up .

The given text is a pun

hom_780

A captain's log is a journal, or a place where records are kept. A "captain's log" can also mean a log, or a piece of wood, that is owned by a captain. This is a play on the word log.

What do they call all that lumber on the Star Trek ' s Enterprise ? Captain ' s log .

The given text is a pun

hom_778

An air conditioner cools a room down. Sometimes when people get older, their temperament changes and it's easier to irritate them. When someone "loses their cool" it means that they lose their temper.

OLD AIR CONDITIONER REPAIRMEN never die , they just lose their cool .

The given text is a pun

hom_775

Joints is a slang term for cheap or disreputable gathering places, which a bar that has brawls happening would be. Joint also means the point of articulation of two or more bones, which both the knee and elbow are.

After having a knee dislocated and an elbow fractured in two barroom brawls Bradley should have learned to stay away from those joints .

The given text is a pun

hom_771

The joke is about the phrase "it' s like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders." which generally means that the speaker feels great relief. Spotters in a gym are there to lift the weight off of the person on the bench press if they are stuck so they don't get hurt. The phrase has two meanings.

I finally found a spotter at the gym , it ' s like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders .

The given text is a pun

hom_770

This is a play on words. The phrase "take a trip" means to spend time traveling to a different place but a "trip" is also a term for being on hallucinogenic drugs, which hippies were known for.

OLD HIPPIES never die , they just take a trip .

The given text is a pun

hom_77

Rest can mean a break from something, but it can also mean a part of something. "The rest" of something is the last part of something. "Never did get the rest" can mean "I never did get a break" or "I never did get the last part of something". This joke is playing on the word "rest" and its different meanings.

The phone call interrupted my nap , and I never did get the rest .

The given text is a pun

hom_767

This is a play on words. The word "smart" means feeling a sharp, stinging pain but "smart" also means having a strong intelligence. The joke is that if the ointment make's the subject's arm smart, they should put the ointment on their head so their brain gets smarter.

Doctor , Doctor , this ointment you gave me makes my arm smart . . - Then rub some on your head ? Next .

The given text is a pun

hom_766

"What a catch" in terms of dating is a saying that explains that a person has desirable qualities. The joke is referencing a dairyman's daughter. A dairyman is a person that sells dairy products and dairy products come from cows. A calf is a baby cow. "What a calf" sounds close to "what a catch". The joke is saying that the dairyman's daughter is has desirable traits.

She was only a Dairyman ' s daughter , but what a calf

The given text is a pun

hom_765

Overall problem means the farmer has a general problem, but overall(s) are also a type of clothing. The farmer has a problem with his clothing.

A farmer with a rip in his clothes has an overall problem .

The given text is a pun

hom_762

This is a pun on viewpoints. A viewpoint is the location at which you view something. A viewpoint is also how you think about something. Astronomers have private viewpoints because they look through a telescope and only one person can look through a telescope at a time. The joke says that astronomers have thoughts, or viewpoints, that they do not share with others and keep private.

Astronomers often have their own private viewpoints .

The given text is a pun

hom_76

To count on someone means you can rely on them. To count also means to determine the total number of something. The mathematician is inept, so unable to determine the number of his friends, or to rely on them.

The inept mathematician couldn ' t count on his friends .

The given text is a pun

hom_756

"Draw" can be used to mean both "illustrate/depict" and "attract"y. The pun here is that the artist's daughter is good-looking, so that while she may not share her parent's talents, she can still draw something in a different sense.

She was only an Artist ' s daughter , but what a crowd she could draw .

The given text is a pun