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My mom just died. She was 95. She had such an incrediible life. But she had a small family, is from Europe and has out lived most everyone in her life. I and my family is all she has left. She used to love to tell her story, especially of WWII days. If you started her talking about that she would light up. So here's her story, her sort of funeral. She would have loved to know so many people were listening. Thanks for listening.
My Mom was born in 1923 in Saporoahje, Ukraine. Her Dad was a professor and her mom had come from Latvia to work near the University. Mom had an older sister and a younger brother. She attended University for one year and wanted to be a doctor. But times were getting very hard. They had to turn over everything in their house and used to have to wait in line for a whole day for a baked potato ration. Communism was taking over. Mom's Dad refused to become a communist. The soldiers were moving in and her parents, her and her sister fled. First to Poland for a year and then onto Germany. Her brother was sent to Latvia to be safe from being forced to be a soldier. She never found him again. My Mom was the only sibling that had attended University and the only family member that also spoke German fluently and Polish. She got a job in Erding Germany at an Air force base to support her family when it was still the Luftwaffe Training airfield. She was 18 or 19. She spoke such fluent German, the only one in her family to do so, and her father's parents were Swedish so she had fair skin, very blond hair and blue eyes and they never suspected she was Ukraine. My Mom lived with a German family and they had taken her in as their very own. She had her family living at another location. She had made friends with other German women and one in particular was her best friend who had black hair and everyone called them salt and pepper. In 1945 the Air Force base was seized by the U.S. Airforce and used as an Air Depot, Air Base and Air Station. She said her and her friends all thought Americans would be very distinguished but when the they came, they would call out "Hey Blondie" and were not at all what they expected. At that time she met my Dad who was an American Air force soldier stationed there during WWII. For him it was love at first site. For her it wasn't bad but she didn't think anything of it. At one point she had agreed to meet him to get him off her back to and never planned to keep the date and hours later he was still waiting outside. From then on they were together. They attended lots of Military dances together and she has often said that although it was war time, it was some of the best times of their lives. I'm told of a story where my Dad had hitchhiked into some other town all day to buy my Mom her very first Christmas present. It didn't go without some nervous times. Her and her girlfriends used to walk and often have to take cover when enemy planes flew over. One day she happened to be wearing a red dress when it happened so she was taken away from a table my Mom and Dad were at together, to be questioned if she was signaling the planes. Their common language they both spoke was German and that's what they spoke to each other their first 5 years together. When she married him at 23 years old, her white dress was sewn out of white silk parachute. They married on Christmas Eve but by some old paperwork I found, states he wanted to be married on Christmas day. My dad often bragged about how there was a bar made out ice that you could skate up to and their Honeymoon was in Garmisch and when it came time to settle the bill, the Air force said it was on them. Sometime during this whole time, her sister fell in love with a Jewish man. They had 2 girls. He was killed in camp so my Mom helped to hide those girls who were half Jewish. Those girls were never told their Dad Jewish was until they were old themselves as their mom had always been afraid people may be against Jewish people again someday. Mom was never clear to us the timeline on when this happened or where. When my Dad's time in the Military was done and he was honorable discharged, they were to leave on a ship to America with others. My Mom was to leave ahead with other European wives, but friends bought her champagne the night before, that she had never drank before and thought it tasted good so drank quite a bit and was so sick the next day she missed the boat. Literally. So my Dad got her on the one he was on. They rode the ship for three weeks and the whole time my Mom was sea sick. My Dad couldn't stop eating.
They arrived in New York and then Chicago and my Mom couldn't believe how you could just buy things at the store. They were to make their final destination in Japan as my Dad was offered a civilian job on a Military base there. But they stopped off in Marshfield, WI, which was a small farming community, to see my Dad's dad and his dad begged him not to leave and they never did. For years I grew up hearing how my Mom never liked Marshfield. She liked cities better. But to dad it was home and that's where he would like to stay. My Mom studied and took her Citizenship test and became an American citizen in 1951. She was often quoted as saying America is the best place on earth. She just said it again to me last week. My mom, having seen how you could buy things at stores, wanted to get a job as soon as she arrived in Marshfield. She got a job at a shoe factory that was piece work. Meaning you got paid for every piece sewn. She had told me she was very fast and their top worker and she worked there right up until her first child was born 7 years later. They had waited so long as they could not afford children before that. During that time, my dad took out a loan and brought my Mom's family to America as well even though the first five years of their marriage they couldn't afford to own a car or refrigeration. Her family chose to settle in Chicago in the Ukraine section as they still spoke no other language and felt more at home there. I'm told her father was one of those men you would see sitting in the park playing chess and one day while doing that, had a massive heart attack and died.
My mom was pregnant with a second child that ended up dying while in the womb and she had to give birth to her. She didn't want any more children after that but after time my Dad convinced her it could be different and she had another healthy son. When she became pregnant with me she started to hemorrhage and the doctors put her to bed rest. It wasn't stopping and the doctors told her I would never be born and if I was there would be so many things wrong with me so she might as well get up. She wouldn't listen and wouldn't give up and stayed in bed for 6 months. She also wouldn't take Thalidomide even though they wanted her to. She wanted to take nothing to take the chance of harming me. The last 2 months she stopped bleeding and was able to go on to have a normal pregnancy. When I was born she said my Dad cried because I was a girl. I suspect it was also because I was born healthy.
When I was in school, they needed a new car. So my Mom got a part time job at a new store that had come to town called Shopko. Eventually it led to a full time job and she was head of her department for 18 years until her retirement. Between the 2 of them they never in their lives made over 20,000 a year. But the house I grew up in, which was their second house, was paid off as long as I can remember even in my childhood. They never had a car loan. Only paid cash. We would take driving vacations once a year and I felt spoiled at Christmas. Always had plenty of food. My Mom was the one who paid the bills and budgeted and I remember her having a special envelope that she would put money in and once a month, fill the freezer with meat on sale from the money in that envelope.
During those 18 years my second oldest brother started showing signs of alcoholism and although they did everything in their power to help and support him, years later it took his life.
When my Mom retired they traveled around to every state. Many of them more than once. They mostly took tour buses and had a ball. Their house was filled with souvenir coffee cups, so many coffee cups, from every place and Mom would get souvenir sun visors, the kind with no top to it. Their favorite place was Vegas. I'm not sure if it was Dad's favorite but he just loved seeing Mom have so much fun. She loved the buffets and playing the slots, One time she called me at 11:00 p.m. because she had won $110 on the nickel machine. Dad thought that wasn't enough to warrant a call but she didn't care she was so excited. Another story they had told that makes me chuckle every time I think of it was how they went to an all girls dance show only to have the girls in the end pull off their bottoms to reveal they were actually men. I'm sure that was a huge shock to someone of their generation. But they laughed about it. During one of those trips my dad was on and escalator that suddenly stopped and he fell and hit his head. A week later he had a seizure and from then on there was a steady decline. My Mom took care of him as long as she could. Even after breaking a hip, after I had taken him in for a period while she recovered. I don't know how she did that. I lived 2.5 hours away and my oldest brother lived in the same town but she did it mostly all on her own. I suspect now to keep a secret just how bad it was so no one would say to put him in a nursing home. When it finally got so bad he had to go to a nursing home, she would take a taxi ( she never drove since coming to America) every day to be with him and towards the end feed him at least one meal a day.
Some years later she had a house fire. After everything was fixed she moved back in but I started noticing some looping of sentences and questions and I started having to pay her bills and such. Looking back I think she had a small stroke during that house fire time. She was incredibly fiercely, adamant about staying in her home. You have no idea how much, so we tried to allow that for as long as possible. She also said she would never, ever live with one of her kids as she tried to do that with her mom after her Dad passed and it didn't work. But when she was 90 it was getting worse. At this time I was living 2.5 hours away. She was supposed to go for a physical one day so I asked her friend to help get her there. That morning her friend found her laying in the bath tub. She had been there for a few hours. She had fallen and although she brought a phone in it was out of reach. Her friend helped her to bed but she was sick and wouldn't eat so she called an ambulance. There they found scar tissue that should she had had a stroke at some point. I'm wondering if another minor one during that time as her memory seemed worse. They had her in rehab there and when she was to be released I brought her to live near me in assisted living. It was a beautiful place and I thought she was going to love it. But once there she would have no part of it. It I wasn't there she would call me literally non-stop 24 hours a day. She called the police. She kept on insisting on going back to Marshfield. The assisted living said she actually needed much more care than assisted living and needed long term care. Dementia had settled in much more during that time. My oldest brother who still lived in Marshfield said to bring her back. He became legally in charge of her and found long term care for her. She fought it hard at first but then settled in. During that time my oldest brother died of pancreatic cancer. I was her only child left now. She could remember other things but that. That she just wouldn't let herself remember. At first they told me to lie about it but he had told her about it before he died so she kept asking how he was and being agitated. The nurse said it wasn't working to protect her. So I would have to tell her over and over again. Sometimes within a 5 minute period. And every time it was like the first time she was hearing it. Eventually when I told her she wouldn't get so upset but rather wonder why she didn't remember. I said her brain just didn't want to. Not long after his death, my husband I were transferred to Austin, TX. I worked on getting her moved here, which proved to be much harder and much more red tape than I thought. The day before we picked her up she said she was scared but said she would trust us. The morning we picked her up and had a 3 hour drive to the airport, she didn't remember what we were doing. I held her hand while my husband drove and had her talk about Germany. I was slightly panicked because you have no idea how feisty she can be and fight back. I literally made sure child safety locks were on. But As the hours passed she hadstarted remembering what we were doing and while on the plane she said she never thought at her age she would be on a plane again. Surprisingly for the most part she took the move here well. But I came to see her nearly every day and she kept saying how nice it was that we lived so close to each other now. She has had several health problems in the past, arthritis in her hands and very,very bad in her shoulders, a broken hip, hiatal hernia, and advancing dementia, etc, etc, But she was still walking in a walker. But in January she started complaining of a sore hip area that ran down her leg. X-rays revealed very advanced osteoporosis and a fractured pelvis. It showed she had old fractures there in the past but this was a bad one. It also revealed a fractured arm just below her horribly arthritic shoulders that she had never said anything about. Doctors don't know if it was an unreported fall or that her osteoporosis is so advanced just sitting too hard could have caused it. She used say she had aches and pains but that went with growing old. After days 3 in the hospital, at 95, they didn't want to do surgery. Especially since it showed some heart irregularities. She went to a rehab and skilled nursing place just down the road from me and since the hospital and all through that time I spent all day, every day with her and I'm so glad I did. For a while she was doing better but then a decline started happening. I think she knew it was getting close because even before the hospital she couldn't tell me often enough how much she loved me and often asked about the family and how everyone was doing. She knew my son was trying to get his post college graduate job here ( he moved with us) and kept asking if he got it and when he got his dream job she would say there, now all your family is set. She had started refusing to eat. Would spit it out and cover her mouth. Saying I don't eat anymore. One time I said " Mom if you don't eat, you won't survive". She shrugged and said I've lived a good long life. Then a week ago she started refusing her meds. She would spit them out even if they were crushed and put into something for her. She would wave her arm and say NO! So now she was getting nothing for pain. When my Dad was failing she had a DNR put into place and no feeding tubes etc. She said he wouldn't want to be kept alive that way. So when she moved here I found in her papers she had made one out for herself as well. I was legally her guardian but respected her wishes. She had kept saying no food, only drink. So I could at least get nutritional drinks in her. She'd have some not so bad days and one day while laying in bed and we were looking out the window, she said I wish we could do something together. My thought went to the fact that she was pretty weak and was in a wheel chair now if she did get up and how would I take her somewhere. So I said what should we go do? But then she said that's okay, just being here together is all I need. I did take her walking outside in the wheelchair another day and was going to go on an adventure but she just wanted to go back in. I think she wanted something she knew her body couldn't handle anymore. One day she wouldn't drink any more. And that went into the next day. They ordered hospice and that would have involved morphine for pain. They felt she had some time yet as she was still having plenty of output but I had a feeling. I crawled in bed with her and held her hand and stoked her hair and forehead. If I stopped at all she would gesture to continue. She would kiss my hand. And reached for us to give a kiss. I started to talk about some happy memories but she gestured me to stop. So I just kept telling her how much I loved her. The nurse had come in at one point and checked her oxygen and such and said she was okay but I felt a panic that hospice should be starting. It was evening now and hospice was starting in the morning. But then we were all alone, and suddenly her breathing changed and she got a look in her eyes. I knew, so I stayed by her side and kissed her hand and told her how much I loved her and that would we would all be great and happy and that dad was waiting for her. Her hands turned blue and she took several more breaths and was gone. It happened so fast. It was just her and I. And a part of me is glad that even though she as in pain, she went the way she wanted. Taking nothing.
I know this was very long winded. But I felt such an incredible woman like that with such a long life, deserved to be told about at her death. She used to love to tell her story. Especially her European days and she would have thought it was cool to have so many people listen. And there was no one to tell anymore. Thank you for listening. I miss her already. Per her wishes she is being cremated. As a memorial, I am thinking of mixing Mom and Dad's ashes into one container, and anyone who wants to go with us, go with their ashes to Vegas. Go to the buffets, play the slots, buy the souvenir visors and coffee mugs. Go do something together.
EDITED: I made a comment below but wanted to make sure all saw it. I saw some comments asking for pictures so I put together a few of my favorite and some documents with a link. I hope it works. I cannot even begin to put into words how much all your kind words have meant to me. And to her. I just know she's reading them with me. And I'm eading each and every one. And I am ready others sharing loss and grief and worry of their own parents and grandparents. I'm so sorry you are going through that. But I'm so grateful there is a place that we can share kind words for eachother. Some times, when you are out in every day life, at the grocery store, getting gas, you encounter people that may be feeling loss, or about to have loss. And they are going about their every day life and no one to share this with. It has helped to share her story. When I think back, I wish I had taken even more time and heard even more stories but I'm so grateful for the ones I have. And she would have LOVED it more than I can tell you that so many people have read her story. You have helped my heart. And I cannot thank you enough.
Images I'm sharing \[here\]([https://imgur.com/a/5aSry04](https://imgur.com/a/5aSry04))
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​ | Thank you for telling her story. I read every word. She sounds like an amazing person, and someone I would have enjoyed knowing. I hope she is laughing with your dad and having a ball now. Hugs to you. |
I nearly cried when he told me that. I don't know what I expected, but I didn't expect that level of respect.
Edit. To the people asking what happened, I'm only gonna say it once because I don't like thinking about it. On numerous occasions various females and a few homosexual men made comments about my rear end, and a few times my rear was either slapped or grabbed. I'm a pretty chubby guy, but I've always had a big rear end. For whatever reason people think it's ok to make comments about me in the workplace, but it's really not. | You know you are obligated to get him a coffee mug with “worlds greatest boss” now right? Jokes aside.
Being in the automotive field I’ve seen many many of my managers dismiss claims. Gender aside: a boss who takes the time to listen and act deserves recognition.
I hope your harassment comes to a halt and have a successful, peaceful time at that company.
Edit: well thank you all for the upvote and lucky charms (pot o gold). Much appreciated. |
No one gives you awards for taking a shower. But for me it was like climbing a god damn mountain.
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Almost a full year ago, I was raped and left bleeding outside a BDSM club in San Francisco. I was a sophomore in college, a band kid, an amazing job, and had a good life set for me on the west coast. Until this happened.
I thought I had gotten my period the next morning- I would find out it was actually tears and open cuts inside me when I decided to go to the hospital. My chest was bruised so badly the mark didn't go away for almost 2 months. I had been badly hurt, and was put on anti-HIV pills. My mom flew from across the country to stay with me. After a few days, it was decided that I would move back home to heal, and reconsider school in the spring.
I was quiet, I slept until 3 in the afternoon, and my nightmares were horrible but the medication for the nightmares made me suicidal. Most of all, I **hated** my body. I would wear the same outfit 3 days in a row to avoid changing, or change in the dark. The first time I washed my hair was in January, in the sink, crying in the Adult Psych unit. The nurses washed my hair with buckets over the sink and I felt like I was drowning.
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I wash my body under my clothes with bath wipes, a product meant for the elderly. I manage to wash my hair once a week, or I aim for once a week. The shower is scary.
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But yesterday I did it. I stood half-in, and let the water hit my back, and the top of my head, and it felt like acid at first but I stayed in there for a minute and a half. I covered myself fully in the towel and put my back against the mirror. I put clothes on.
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**I finally fucking showered.**
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Will I do it again? I don't know, because the day it happened is coming up and I can already feel myself sinking down into the anxiety, the fear, and the depression of my PTSD. I climbed up one mountain but there's an entire range I have to get through.
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EDIT: Wow, I am blown away by everyone's kindness. I understand rip inbox now. And thank you, anonymous stranger, for the gold. I've been trying to talk more often about what happened, because if it stays in my head I go mad about it, and my PTSD goes into bad places. And as a woman, I need to tell my story, or the rapists win. I just started therapy again, which I'm fearing but going into with my head up. There is.....so much I want to say but It's near midnight. I hope to respond to as many people as I can in the morning :)
EDIT 2 (Nov 26 2018) : I am blown away by your support, reddit. I still receive PMs and they help me through the days when its even harder to get up and live. I have been able to shower three times since, thanks to Float Therapy. I cannot believe how amazing it is- and how much it has helped with regular therapy. I go every other week due to the cost but when I go I can shower afterwards for some reason? My guess is that the sensory deprivation in the floating chamber helps separate me from my mind and my body and I can allow myself to feel nice things, like warm water and lemongrass soap. Happy holidays, heres to recovery for all <3
Edit: June 25th, 2019: This post is still going around....I get a few messages every few weeks. It’s a weird feeling, that people still read it and that people I don’t know believe in me. On good days I feel great, but on bad days I feel like I’m letting strangers down....
I am trying to get into a residential program right now. It’s out of state and there are many man hoops to jump through with insurance. But it’s one step closer to getting better. I found tattoos to be healing, but it’s hard to save up when living on SSI.
As for me...things have gotten worse in many ways, but they’ve also gotten better. I’m back to showering out of a bucket and the sink. I still feel as if my body is some strange creature. But I wake up every morning. There isn’t that immediate fear whenever I hear a door open. I have less nightmares. I collect Furbys. I am trying to build a life outside of my trauma- I joined a band, I saw a new primary care doctor, I even started saving for a trip to the Netherlands in May...
I started living. I guess I figured out how to move on. | You're a survivor. You've got this |
It's been 12 years and this man...i can't talk about it or someone will try and steal him from me. He says no, because he's not a coffee mug and can't be stolen. But I don't remember a single time we've had sex in our entire relationship that I haven't cum at least 4 times.
He's always groomed, showered, in perfect condition. He knows exactly how to touch me and is an incredibly attentive, responsive lover.
His dick is the perfect shape, gorgeous, and feels incredible.* Touching him is the most fun thing. I beg to go down on him and can't get enough of his body and daydream of him naked when I'm supposed to be paying attention at work.
He's also a nice fucking dude, funny, and my best friend.
*Edited for clarity | Hoping this is my wife’s secret Reddit account. |
Six months ago, I left this comment on askreddit with the promise that I would update the story eventually.
*I made a throwaway for this question.*
*We were at a work party, I was in college and she was a career waitress.*
*I had recently gotten out of a long term relationship that just fucking destroyed me, I wanted nothing, no sex, no hook ups, no cuddling in bed, I just wanted to be alone. I picked up the job at the restaurant to keep myself busy and make some extra money. I needed my time occupied, and this was the best way at the time.*
*She had came on to me at work, but I kindly turned her down, telling her that i was not ready for any kind of relationship. She flirted often, but I didn’t reciprocate. I literally had zero interest, in anyone.*
*I had 2 drinks at the party, and then one at a coworkers house after work shut their party down. I blacked out (not at all like me), woke up around sunrise half naked with her snuggled up to me. We had definitely had sex, no fucking condom in sight. I was confused, very very confused. Not happy. Not even a little bit.*
*I slithered our from under her and got dressed, I walked a few miles home and passed out for over 12 hours, missed my shift at work that day.*
*I went in the next day and told them what had happened, i got a write up for missing my shift and made fun of for complaining about getting laid. I walked out and never went back.*
*15 years later, I found out she had had a baby. We are in the process of finding out if it’s mine. This shit consumes my thoughts every goddamn day now. I have no idea what we are going to do if he is mine.*
*Edit: this is all fresh, she wants back money. Very very much about the money, I don’t know why but she thinks that we’re loaded or something. We are not by any means. Life has been one expensive disaster after another for my entire adulthood. This is my wife’s insulin she dropped today while shaking about what the fuck we are going to do. Everything is a mess.*
*I’ll update this story minus identifying details on this profile if you want to follow. Maybe it will be cathartic for me.*
As it turns out, the child was mine. We were hit with a massive child support amount to provide and were thinking that things were going to be ok in a few years after we caught it up. Right up until the pandemic hit and we both lost our jobs. Everything slipped, all the bills piled up. It was ok though, we still had food on the table and were hopeful to return to work.
We still haven’t returned since March. We were nearly out of money when today I went to get a few groceries and my card was declined. I was embarrassed, but thought that surely there was a mistake. Nope, the state seized the tiny bit of money we had left. No way to buy food, no way to buy my wife’s insulin or supplies. Just a big pile of hopelessness.
I’m sitting in my car and I have no idea how to go inside to tell my wife just how screwed we are.
You can do everything you’re supposed to, and still wind up at the bottom.
I wish my family didn’t suffer from my unfortunate past.
Edit: a redditor is shipping us a months supply of insulin. I cannot begin to tell you how grateful we are to this community and the people that make it up.
The outpouring of support is overwhelming. We put our kids to bed and are sitting here reading all these kind words. It’s a lot. Thank you all. | I would sue her and the state, I’ve been through something similar but not to this level, no one took me seriously till she got in trouble for the 3rd time, you can seek free legal advice at a community center and you might get lucky enough to find a lawyer that’s willing to help you for free, I’m sorry for what you’re going through |
She’s really been going through the mud for so long. Human to human I feel so bad and hope it all works out for her. That’s all. | The fact of the matter is that her father is profiting off of this. It is a trafficking/slavery situation. Her father gets $18k a month, while she gets $8k. She does all the work and he controls everything and everyone around her. |
I Miss you max. | Had a small "blanket" like this, used it to lay my neck/head on growing up sleeping. I too swear on the fact that I dont believe I have had the best-I-could-get nights rest since getting rid of it. |
I am so tired of this. I am tired of people asking me if and when I will have kids. I DON'T FUCKING WANT TO HAVE KIDS. Why is it so hard to understand that? I am tired of hearing the same cliche answers "you are still young", "you will change your mind", "I used to say the same thing, but now I am happy with kids", "your man will get tired of you without kids", "women are programmed to be mothers".
Well fuck you, how about that? This is not an issue I want debated, this is not an issue I want your fucking opinion. If I regret it, it's my problem not yours. If my man gets tired of me, again it's my problem not yours. How hard is it to understand that some women do not dream of becoming mothers? That some people feel already complete without a kid? Stop trying to be an wiseass and think you know my wishes and dreams better than me. I find it perfectly ok for a woman to want to become a mother, but as well not to become.
If a woman says "I don't want kids", or anything similar, or expresses in a vague way the kid plan isn't her thing, just shut up. Some women don't want and some cannot become mothers. Eitherway it is not your business and your conversation to open.
EDIT: Wow, didn't expect this post to blow up like this. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, to agree, to disagree. Especially thanks to everyone that shared their personal experiences and stories of not wanting or not being able to have kids. Thanks also to the fellow redditors that gave this post the award.
As for some comments I read, I wanna say the following:
- Never said or implied that the dialogue above come only from men. Actually the majority of comments I hear come from women. So do not make it a "when a woman says something, everyone else must shut up". This post is not for attacking men.
- Every social/political phenomenon affects both women and men and that is a fact. But it is important for all of us to understand the target group that affects more. I am sure there are many guys out there that either do not want or cannot have children. But I highly doubt men are seen as baby machines that must have kids before the 'good years' pass, or have heard the things women have, or have been judged as much for not wanting/having kids. | A friend of mine was getting grilled at a big get together we were having. I came over after it had clearly been going on for a while. "You're not getting any younger", this person was telling her. "You really need to get on top of this". "Don't wait too long of you'll regret it!" "Do you really want to be an old mom??"
The truth was, said friend had been having fertility problems and had experienced her 3rd miscarriage just a few months prior.
She looked like she was about to start bawling.
I can cry on command (a useful talent when used properly), so I walked over, began crying and yelled at this person. I told them I heard everything they said and they have no idea of people are going through things. I implied I was the infertile one, that such conversations are not something to engage in unless you are a doctor or the person's partner. I raised a huge fuss and embarrassed the hell out of that person. Because my friend couldn't make a scene, or she'd have to talk about her issues. So I jumped on that grenade. People have no idea how rude it is!
From that point forward, that person never brought up the topic of having kids in these family get togethers.
Sometimes you just need to browbeat them about how inappropriate it is to ask someone how often they *fuck* their partner and if they're getting cream-pied on the regular. |
I'm average looking at best. Many even find me ugly. It is what it is. I can't say that I'm "over" the fact that people find me ugly because being physically unattractive has gotten me rude comments about my appearance for most of my life. And I know it's not just people being mean. When I'm out with my attractive friends, I notice how people treat them very differently (in a positive way). It's a level of privilege that I'll never experience, which sucks, but it's certainly not my friends' faults.
Where I *do* get upset is when people feel the need to comment on how "lucky" I am. My husband is often jokingly called the third Hemsworth brother. He's a good looking dude. I don't disagree with that fact at all. When people meet my husband for the first time I *always* get comments. "You're so *lucky* you managed to get a guy like him." or "That's *your* husband?" or "Oh, you've been together since high school. *Now* it makes sense." Like, wtf?
Some of these comments could definitely be innocent enough except for two things. First, their stress on certain words that clearly imply that they think he's way out of my league. Secondly, it's never ever the other way around. People never make comments like that to my husband about how "lucky" he is for snagging me.
The worst time was one day a few years ago when I was waiting tables to pay my way through college. I had been working at the restaurant for over a year at that point. My husband came in by himself and sat in my section, so we could sort of "hang out" (we both had really busy schedules back then, so we weren't able to spend much time together). Several of my female coworkers (and even some of my gay male coworkers) kept pointing out the "hot guy who looks like Liam Hemsworth" sitting at table such-and-such. They kept telling each other about him and encouraging each other to walk by his table to "go check him out." It was kind of funny at first, until I told one of them that he was my husband. "He's *your* husband?" the coworker asked incredulously. Next thing I know, I'm overhearing my coworkers say shit like, "Yeah, that's apparently *cnyrxx's* husband. Like, how and the hell did she manage that?" and other similar things when I'm walking by them to get to the kitchen/my tables. I felt like crying before the day was over.
I wanted to get this off my chest because I just got another comment like this today. I don't know if it's because I'm feeling particularly insecure today since I'm about to start my period, but jesus christ. I'm a fucking worthwhile person, too, and there are things about me that make my husband fucking lucky to have "caught" me, too (to which he whole-heartedly agrees, but I digress).
I'm just sick of it. And I'm sick of being made to feel like I have no value as a human being because I am not physically attractive.
People suck. | “Oh, don’t I know it! I’m so lucky he isn’t shallow and rude like other people out there.” |
I’m 5’2, and my highest weight that I stayed at for a long time was 215.
I got to 25, and realized I had never been in a relationship. I was too self conscious about my body, and no one really hit on me, anyway. I’d get things like “but you’re pretty regardless!” And that was such a weird feeling of “oh good, I’m glad I’m not ugly?” Mixed with “oh wow, there’s something really bad about me”. I was fat, but I knew myself, I was (mostly) comfortable, I was generally happy, I was sure of myself.
Then, I lost 100 pounds. I weigh between 115-120 now. What gets me is how differently I’m treated.
After 70 pounds lost, in one month I had gotten hit on more times that I’ve probably even interacted with a man in my life. I thought it was a fluke. At my job today, a guy came in who I recognized has been coming to our town for the past couple years on vacation. Incredibly cute, really nice and personable. When he used to come in, he didn’t really look at me twice, and I would think “if only I was skinny, I might be worth looking at”.
Well, today... today he looked. I could tell he didn’t even recognize me (not that I’d expect him to, weight loss or not) but then after he left, he came back an hour later to ask me out on a date. This should have made me happy. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been tongue tied around this guy. I should have been excited. Instead, I felt nothing and politely declined. It was only after, as I was sitting at my desk, that I got incredibly sad. I became sad about how much your appearance can affect how people see you.
I became sad because the irony is... me now, the one he actually noticed? The absolute mess with depression, body dysmorphia, a horrible relationship with herself and food, irritable all the time, no longer enjoys life? I doubt that’s someone he’d actually want to take out. But... that other girl? The old me, who was overweight, confident, vibrant, sure of herself, happy, enjoyed life and everything it had to offer, kind to herself and others?
He probably would have really liked her. | I can kind of relate. I lost 40 pounds in the last few years, and there was a definitive difference in the way people interacted with me before and after. I started realizing that relationships I was entering were much more superficial, and I felt terrified that no one would actually care about myself as a person instead of a body. Something that worked well for me was avoiding social media and guys for a while. I started to focus on what I want my body to be for myself, instead of how I want my body to appear to others. That change in mentality really helped me, so I thought I’d share. |
because that shit is so damn difficult but you deserve more than them. | I once read that forgiving someone for something they didn't apologize for, is not forgiveness for them, but for you.
Forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean "you treated me like shit but it's okay I'm not mad :)" but rather "you treated me like shit, and I'm moving past it because I don't want your actions living in my mind rent-free."
Forgiveness is for yourself and nobody else. |
I begged,borrowed, and barely made it. I spent the good part of my 20's living in the street or motels. I haven't celebrated a single holiday because there just wasn't anyway that I could. I've attempted to save and rebuild many times before the money ran out before housing could be secured. Six times I've had to leave all my belongings and clothes behind. Nasty irreversible damage to my body due to simply not being able to afford hygiene products. Struggling between needing my cat with me because he was truly my only person I have in my life to thinking about having to surrender him to a shelter because I couldn't provide him a safe space or food/litter. Going months without having a shower and dealing with the humiliation of how bad I smelled and looked in public. Shame. Guilt that I wasn't there for my sister before she took her own life and having numerous letters rejected because I had no address. Having my identification card expire without being able to renew it with proof of address. 114 months of stress and suffering. 114 months wasted. 114 months and as of this week I have my efficiency apartment! A HOME!!!! A full size fridge and stove that I hadn't seen in so long and it might be empty for awhile but I have a dang fridge!!! Reddit, I made it!!!! | Outstanding!!! May you continue to be blessed!!! Keep going!!!! |
I couldn’t even go anywhere by myself at night, to a gas station or anything. Everything in the apartment we shared was gray, gray, gray. I’ve never been able to express myself because we had to agree on everything and nothing could be “girly”.
I broke up with him in January which took a lot of determination, and he threw everything I owned on the front lawn. At the lowest point in my life, sleeping on a friend’s couch, I decided to do something crazy. I got on Zillow and looked at places for sale in my hometown. I found a historic farmhouse that needs a lot of restoring for an insanely cheap price, with a lot land.
Now I’m home, I can breathe, and I can literally do anything to *my* house that I want to. I bought classy, yet fun tile for my bathroom that has flowers all over it. I painted my bedroom purple. I’m doing a decidedly 70’s theme in my kitchen and I just put stick on vinyl all over my fridge with huge sunflowers on it. Like, I’m going wild.
I can leave my house at any time and come and go as I please. I can go to Walmart at 2am on a Saturday for Ben and Jerry’s if I have a random craving, and no one is going to scream at me and threaten me for it. It may sound stupid to some, but it just made me break down in happy tears after bouncing all around my living room to classic rock.
I’m just loving life. | It’s hard to describe how liberated I felt back when I was newly single and living alone. It’s a great feeling.
Congrats, wishing you the best!
*Ive been thinking about this and wanted to add - treat yourself to everything you want. Do everything you couldn’t do before. I left an abusive and controlling relationship too and he hated all sorts of things I loved. Seeing myself with magenta hair after years of bullshit was the best feeling. I was myself again! The memory still makes me smile and I genuinely hope you’re experiencing the same feeling!! |
She has known him since they were kids, and he’s queer as a $3 bill. His family is religious and he only sees them once a year, so he has no plan to tell them he’s gay. All of his friends know (most of them are gay as well) but his family lives far away and they seem to have no idea about his double life.
Every summer, they have a family vacation and my wife pretends to be HIS wife. He pays for everything and she gets a free vacation with her lifelong friend. They have been doing this for years. She’s been to several different countries with her “in-laws.”
Is it weird that I’m not jealous of him? If anything, I’m jealous of her because she gets to go on all these trips for free | Wow that's one hell of a commitment to a lie to not come out of the closet. Couldn't imagine the stress this dude has to live in secret. |
I can’t tell anyone in my actual life because I don’t want to brag. But I need to say it somewhere.
I’m 26 and after studying and failing for 3 years I finally landed a specialty job that pays me what I feel is an immense amount of money. I skipped holidays, birthdays, almost everything to prepare for months and it paid off. I even stopped working out and basically just dedicated all my time to this.
I’ve tried and failed this multiple times and I finally got it.
I even negotiated hard after getting a great but lower offer. I was very nervous but I knew what I needed to do.
It’s fully remote, has great benefits and it will change my life. I am beyond happy but I don’t want to tell anyone how much they actually pay me.
That is all, I feel amazing right now. | This reminds me of a J Cole song:
"Fightin' back tears, I promised to switch gears
And said to myself, "Whatever you do, you won't do it partially"
Congratulations on the job buddy! |
He's one of those guys who always insists he pay for things, and although he lost his job, he's still trying to pay for things when he can. Today we went to pick up breakfast and he couldn't afford to pay it, so he took his food off the order and only got me my food. He was really sad he couldn't pay for everything and said it makes him feel like less of a man. So when he went to shower, I slipped $50 into his wallet and folded it up super small so when he notices it, he'll just think he missed it. I want him to feel better next time he tries to pay for stuff. | You’re a kind hearted person and I feel so bad for him.
Make sure he understands that you both can pay and that the current situation is tough but that doesn’t mean it will be like this forever. |
My life is not that hard. There's people that are worse off than me. But I'm messed up. I know I need help. But the price of just a councilor around here is $140-. I can't pay that. So I guess I just live in this messed up reality of mine. | same, hang in there buddy |
I’m about to be living a life I never thought was possible 5 years ago, when I was shooting heroin multiple times a day and just sort of waiting until I overdosed and died. I did manage to overdose several times, but — spoiler alert — I didn’t die.
These past three years have changed me so much as a person. I’m pretty terrified to begin working as a whole-ass real nurse, but I’m excited to begin a brand new chapter of my post-heroin life. I feel like I’m becoming a “real” person. Like an adult-sized Pinocchio with a history of hard drugs.
To anyone reading this who’s struggling with addiction, you *can* make it out. Even when it seems impossible. Even when you aren’t sure it’s worth it. The whole “one day at a time” shtick really does help to keep things in perspective. When I went to rehab 3.5 years ago, I wrote in my journal that I would never stay clean. That it wasn’t going to work. I was only going because my life had fallen apart and my family was desperate. But life has a funny way of showing you how dumb you are, and now it’s been 3 years and I can’t imagine going back to that life. Never again.
I hope in my new career, I’ll be able to help some people. I hurt a lot of people in my addiction that I cared deeply about. Nothing will change the past, but I want my future to be one where people remember me for having brought some light into their life, instead of just darkness.
Anyhoot it’s just been a wild ride to this point and I wanted to share with the vast and empty void of the internet. Thanks for reading if you did. | Congrats!! I'm so proud of you! |
It's a thankless job. No way around it. | You're so right, so much hypocrisy. Thanks for everything you're doing. There are still many people who appreciate you. |
I was bored at work so I decided to "visit" my hometown in Google Maps. I haven't been back in more than 3 years. I worked out my path from my old school to my grandparents' house in street view and saw him sitting on the porch. He did that a lot after his disease worsened in 2015. By mid-2016 he was immobile and barely coherent. I didn't get to visit him a lot because I lived in the city. He died in November of that year.
The image is kind of blurry but it's unmistakably him. Seeing him there just gave me all sorts of emotions and I'm trying so hard to hide the fact that I'm crying at my desk. I hope he's doing okay. I miss him a lot.
EDIT: Thank you so much for all the kind words and comments!! Reading all your stories about your loved ones made me reminisce all the good times we had with my granddad. He was my first father figure because my dad was away a lot and we had so many good memories together. Hug your loved ones and tell them you love them as often as you can! Stay safe everyone! | Make sure you screenshot it. Google updates their maps periodically and it might disappear one day. |
I (18f) used to talk to this guy all the time on Minecraft pocket edition, on this server called Happy Party. I was 10 at the time, he was 13. So around eight years ago at this point. We used to go around repairing griefed houses. Eventually, he proposed and we got married! Obviously, we were just silly kids at the time. But it was really cute, and he was a super nice guy. We exchanged first names and told each other what countries we were from. His name is Andrew, and he’s from Australia. He would be 21 now probably, and that’s all I know! The server randomly got shut down one day, so we never got to keep in contact. I’ve been looking for him ever since, and every time it pops into my mind I get sad thinking about the fact we never got back in touch! Please help!
Edit: his gamertag was Dreweh, mine was Flatastic. And just to clarify, we did not talk for eight years, it’s been eight years SINCE i have talked to him! We talked for a few months on the server.
Update: No update yet guys i’m sorry :( I was hoping one of those big reddit tik tok accounts might post this, as there’s a better chance of him seeing it then. So far nothing though..
Update 2: there’s still no update I’m so sorry guys, almost a year later and he has not reached out to me! | Let's upvote this to Reddit front page so that Andrew from Australia will see this |
I was 17, you were an a**hole, and you couldn’t help but state the obvious when you came up.
“Got a flat tire,” it wasn’t a question.
“Betch don’t know how to change it,” again, not a question.
“I bet you don’t even know where your spare tire is.”
All your non-questions where met with “no sirs,” to which you berated my father for ever letting his daughter on the road without know how to change her own tire.
I thought you were the biggest jerk as you made me do all the hard work after a 7 hour shift at 11 o’clock at night. But I remembered every step of the process like it was yesterday.
It’s been 10 years since I’ve changed a tire, but today, because of you Mr. MeanTruckDriver, I changed my own tire.
Thank you for caring enough to teach a stranger a helpful lesson I’ll never forget. I wish I had thanked you more then, so let me thank you again now.
Edit: I just want to say thank you for the enormously positive feedback. It’s been wonderful reading through everyone’s stories of learning/teaching how to change a tire. Thank you for all the awards, I’m feeling all the Reddit love ❤️ | My father wouldn’t let me drive until I learned how to change a tire. He told me, “A woman with a broken down car on the side of the road, is just a target.” |
I am transgender. At the time, I was only a couple months on testosterone. I was alone at the mall, scared and nervous, dysphoric and self conscious. I didn’t like being in public yet due to the high volume of “ma’am”s I would get. Hence, my baggy hoodie.
You both walked by, one of you stared at me, and I immediately thought the worst of the situation. I thought I was going to hear some form of negative comment, judgement. You turned to your friend, and the words that left your mouth being me joy to this day...
“That guy is fucking cute!”
As you both passed, your friend looked at me, giggling and nodding. I said nothing, continued walking, bright red in the face. I’d never been complimented by a stranger before, even indirectly. It was embarrassing, but holy hell, it made my day, my year, my lifetime. I will forever remember that moment. It means the world to me.
Thank you, to both of you. You may not know that I heard you, or the impact you made on my anxious self, but I wanted to put this out there, to remind people that even the smallest compliment can make someone’s self image change drastically.
TLDR: Two girls compliment me at the mall, meant the world to me
Edit: Holy shit, I did not expect this to blow up like it did! I went to bed at like 3k upvotes and 50 comments, and it doubled?! And most of these are super positive! It means the world to me you guys! | R/“offmychest” haha
Sorry |
We keep no secrets from each other (except for keeping the door closed when we poop). I went looking for one of our old credit cards. He has a few little hidey holes for important stuff, he’s like WALL-E, so I went to his bedside table, bottom drawer, where he occasionally keeps old financial stuff.
And there it was, just staring at me. I had no idea.
Every card I’ve ever given him, every cutesy love letter, every sappy post-it. Stacked neatly in the back corner. Some in envelopes, some out. Over six inches high. Every card I fretted over, every page of handwritten 3AM hopes and dreams. I’m a writer, so words are important to me and they are the way I express myself when it’s difficult to do so verbally. He knows this.
People always say it’s so nice to see how happy we are. That we’re “that couple”. I feel it. It’s not like we never left the honeymoon phase. We had some issues for a while, most people don’t know, but we pushed through and we’re both better partners because of it. I never thought I could be this happy. In a million years, I never would have dreamed that I could have this kind of loving, challenging, supportive, affectionate, sexy, silly, perfectly complimentary relationship. I feel lucky every day to have found this wonderful man and I will never, ever take it for granted.
But seeing that stack of cards, even though it may seem small to some in the grand scheme of things, just really made me happy today. I told him I loved him for the first time in a rambling valentine’s day card, 7 1/2 years ago. We make a special point on every birthday, anniversary, whatever, to get the other person a nice card, write a little something.
Maybe one day he’ll be looking for something and find my stash, tucked away in my bookshelf: a stack of every card he’s ever given me.
Edit: I think it’s very “Reddit” that everyone’s initial expectations went in such different directions - candy to fake money to guns to a variety of drugs to hentai. We truly do live in a society. Thanks for all the love - I don’t have writing up anywhere else currently, for anyone that asked, but I’m considering posting now, hah. | Well damn. I was hoping for something clandestine! Take an upvote for your happiness. 😎 |
And it’s the best hour of my day. She thinks she inconveniencing me by leaving me alone with him straight after work but in reality, it’s what I look forward to at the end of my day.
Edit 1: For those coming at me for doing the bare minimum, eat my ass. At no point did I say this was the only hour I spend with him. My wife and I split everything to make it as easy as possible for the other. We both work and have our own lives. This is about how when I walk in through the door all she usually wants is a bath and I look forward to this because 99% of the time we’re with him together and this is my hour alone with him. | dude! mention it to her! urge her to go out and have an life! |
It was tough. She was cold. I kissed her, caressed her hair, put my head against her head, kissed her many many times. I broke down. I just can't. When I close my eyes, I see her dead face.
I am so numb, sad, confused, angry and broken. I wish this happens to no one. I really really loved her. What's the point of life...
Edit: I want to thank everyone who has messaged me and shared their love with me. I am in tears from all the support.
And to those who said I made this up, this is the worst thing you could have said to me. I still wish no one ever has to go through this. | I am so so sorry you are going through this. Please reach out to a therapist or your national crisis hotline if you feel you need immediate attention 🫂 |
I (25F) have a roommate (30M) who is the polar opposite to me in terms of personality. I’m very outgoing, don’t really hold back with emotions and chatty whereas he’s very reserved, not very emotional and introverted but we balance each other out very well.
I knew it was his birthday (it happened yesterday) and he’d told me not to bother with getting anything for his birthday because all of his friends were out of town anyway and he was just gonna order takeaway and watch Netflix.
I still wanted to do something so after work I grabbed a pastry from a bougee bakery we live near and got him a bouquet of tulips.
I gave them to him when I got home and I was honestly expecting him to just say thanks and go back into his room. Instead he had a huge smile on his face, kept taking pictures of the flowers to put into his family group chat and found a vase to put them in. He gave me a really long and tight hug and told me quietly, “Thanks Mango, I needed this”.
Turns out it’s the first time anyone’s ever brought him flowers. He spent the next 5 minutes moving the vase around the apartment trying to find the best spot for them.
I nearly teared up and ended up leaving the room. He gave me a really tight hug before he flew back to his country to visit family this morning.
Edit- Wow did not expect this to blow up! Just to clarify, he doesn’t call me Mango, he just calls me by my real name but for the sake of the post I just got “Mango” from my username.
Edit 2- For the ones who are saying this is a romance happening, there’s no chance as he’s gay. But I’m glad I made his day all the same!
Edit 3- Normalise getting men flowers!
| Love this. How thoughtful of you! |
My daughter is 6 and she met her new BFF at the start of the school year. Her mom is a very nice lady. They don’t live far either so we have invited them over a lot. It’s became a regular thing for the past 2 months to have them over every weekend, both Saturday and Sunday. Either we take the girls out somewhere fun or we stay in watching movies, do other activities.
I spend lots of time alone with her. We can talk for hours about anything and next thing we know time has flown by. Then the butterflies in my stomach and the blushing everytime she smiled started hitting me.
I’ve been a full time single dad for 3 years since my ex decided to walk out on our daughter. So dating has never been on my mind. They spent Christmas Eve and Christmas with us which led to them staying all weekend. The girls fell asleep on the couch watching Encanto and it was me and her up for another hour chatting. Had a little bit of wine in me so ofc I blurt out that she looks beautiful right now. Randomly, out of nowhere 😅. In the end we kissed though so looks like it worked out for me.
My heart was racing so fast, I’m pretty sure my whole face was red as hell because it felt so warm suddenly lol. We were both smiling like total idiots. Before they left earlier she kissed my cheek and man I just wanted to pull her in. It’s my first kiss in years, with someone I feel really connected to. It’s just been a really great weekend. Very very happy 😊 | Yay! Happy for you! |
She wouldn't get vaccinated because she is stubborn and was convinced the vaccine was more harmful than COVID. I had to take her to the hospital last night and her O2sat was 79. On the ride there I thought she died as I looked over and her eyes were open but there wasn't anything behind them. My kids are going to lose their mother. My grand kids are going to lose their MiMi. I'm going to lose my wife and she's still too stubborn to admit this was preventable. The only thing she's asking about is her business. Not any of us. Just her business. To almost bury your wife and find out she really doesn't give a shit about you in the same 24 hour span is a major bummer. | If you’re very low on oxygen, it impairs your cognitive abilities. So I might not take the business piece too seriously. I am sorry for what you and your family are going through. |
UPDATE: I made another post but still haven't figured out how to link it, but he saw the post today!! Thank you all so much for everything. I'm trying to figure out how to tag him, but his name is u/oilyburger!
He was a teenager who said no one cared about their birthday. I told you I did, and I do.
Its almost your birthday again, and I just wanted to tell you that at least one person thinks about you often and hopes you have a wonderful life full of meaningful moments and good people.
I wanted to reach out, in hopes that you've had a better year.
I hope league of legends is still fun and you take care of yourself.
Sincerely, an internet stranger.
EDIT: To all you wonderful people responding to this post with such incredible kindness, thank from the bottom of my heart for existing. I never expected to get such feedback. You guys are prime examples of the goodness that we sometimes think is lost in this world.
Happy birthday, and you are important and loved, to anyone who needs to hear it. I want to respond to every comment, but that will take some time. I hope each and every one of you have a beautiful life and a wonderful holiday season. Thank you so much for the kind words.
Dude, if you see this, happy birthday. You mean a lot to a lot of people, as these lovely redditors have shown today. | You're lovely, OP!
And to the user who originally posted this, just in case they're reading: Happy birthday!!! |
It felt so good. We don't normally shower together, but today we did, nothing sexual happened or anything but I just feel so on cloud nine right now.
When I reached for the shampoo she said "wait," and grabbed it herself and started running it through my hair, lathering it over my scalp and massaging my head. I swear it felt so good I just shut my eyes and felt like I was floating. Then she took the soap and started sudsing me up, and used her body to spread it all over me, and rinsed me clean, using her hands to splash me and running her fingers through my hair and spending like a good five minutes just rinsing my hair and kissing my back and chest. It was almost surreal.
I just feel so incredibly loved right now, I almost got overwhelmed and started crying from being so happy while she was doing it. I've never had a girlfriend be so gentle and make me feel like this, I've always been with people who were very cold and I'm not used to this feeling. And I've got no one I can really express things like this to. Which, when I think of it, is really pretty screwed up.
I love her so much.
​
EDIT: Wow, thank you for the gold and silver, kind strangers! I had no idea this would blow up | I shower with my boyfriend most of the time. It’s a nice time for us to just talk about our day and get clean and ready for bed together.
One time that stands out though was after I went to zombie pub crawl. Our roommate ubered me to the bar he works at so that she made sure I would get home safe because she was going to a guys house. After he got off work and we got home, I didn’t want to shower but he knew I had work the next morning. First he spent like 20 minutes trying to brush out my hair that’s really long and had gotten absolutely drenched in beer so it was a tangled sticky rats nest. Then he sat in the shower scrubbing all the flesh tattoos and fake blood and makeup off of me, washing my hair and all that. It was so sweet in the funniest way. Like “okay you drunk idiot. You have work tomorrow you need to get all this off”. Having someone take care of you in a way that is that intimate really makes you appreciate and love them. |
Seriously, it's hindering traffic both ways too! /End rant | This, but sidewalks. |
My husband and I work at the same place, but in difference departments, so our paths don’t cross too often.
He has this really weird nickname for me and for months now, I’ve been hearing it at work. It’s always kind of quick and whispered, and it’s so short that I second guess hearing it every time. But I’ll still whip around and look, and I never see anyone and no one else ever hears it.
I never brought it up to my husband because I’ve been convinced that maybe I just miss him (or I’m actually losing my marbles), but either way, I’m not really hearing it.
But tonight my husband and I were a couple drinks in and chatting and I went to walk in the other room and I *heard it*. I whipped around and marched back in the room and he’s there on the couch, cracking up. I was like *has it really been you this whole time?* and he couldn’t even tell me because he was laughing so hard. He had to nod his head.
Turns out for months now, when our paths *do* cross, he’s been intentionally hiding from me *just* so he can whisper-scream my nickname and watch me panic.
And I got to give it to him- the man had me questioning my sanity.
He got me good. | You know what? I like this post, it’s actually harmless fun between two people instead of all the domestic horrors we’ve been hearing.
Those are equally if not more important to hear, of course! I just think it’s nice to settle down with positives sometimes.
God bless, OP :) |
I just recently moved out of state. I knew her time was coming, and I would have waited if I’d known it would be *so* soon. I kept my distance for weeks for obvious reasons. Now I’ll never see her again. I just need to talk about it. Everyone is too in shock to be much comfort at the moment. My husband tries, but he doesn’t know how to help. My children don’t understand why I’m so sad.
Third time posting. Thanks for making this so much harder to post, reddit. | I am very very sorry. Especially today. |
Because of this unbelievably stupid trend I can go on dates with my husband in pretty much any restaurant. He has Celiacs disease and before every restaurant had a gluten free menu or labels it was almost impossible for us to go out without research and a million questions for a waiter that had no idea what we were talking about. You made the world more accessible and more accommodating.
Next up, wheelchairs as a lifestyle for the wealthy and maybe we get some god damn ramps? | I worked in a pub that served gluten free versions of basically everything on the menu as the owner’s wife has Celiacs disease. If someone asked for something gf we were instructed to ask if it was an allergy or intolerance because, as you can imagine, there is a long process to ensure no cross contamination and there was no point doubling our work load when it wasn’t needed.
The amount of people who replied with ‘what do you mean?’ was hilarious and infuriating. They would then become insulted when I had to ask if there was a dietary reason why they were ordering a gf beer battered cod (usually while drinking regular beer)
The people who actually had allergies were very grateful.
When I myself developed digestive difficulties and was put on an elimination diet I was horrified at eating out as there was hardly ever anything I could order. I’m so thankful allergens are now printed on menus but I still tell them to let the chef know that I have an intolerance and not an allergy.
Edit: my comment has gotten a lot of traction so I just was to add that food allergies and and auto immune disorders are serious! Sentiments such as ‘oh a little won’t hurt’ or ‘they’re probably just looking for attention’ have killed people!!
Show people the respect and kindness they deserve! |
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My parents are quite religious, they forced me both me and my sister to wear the hijab at age of 15. I never agreed to it, i cried hysterically telling them how much i dont want to wear it and yet they forced me to.
In the past years i tried my best to convince myself to just accept it but it didn't work, it's just not who I am.
I always tell people to be comfortbale with themselves, to be themselves, and stand for what they believe in even if it's not the popular thing to do. And if i'm not practicing what i preach so as a person i'd be a liar.
So today at age of 24 i decided to take off my hijab behind my parents back, when i'm with friends, or in events i take it off and i must tell you that i feel happier and confident more than ever.
My mom always raised us to do things for people, " don't do this, don't do that, what people will say ? what people will think of you ? "
So my decision was very out of my comfort zone, and i'm happy I did it.
Maybe I started late but from now on I'm committing to work on my charisma and self esteem and not let anyone decide who i should be but me. | I'm so proud of you! Good job doing what you feel is best and I hope you keep moving forward! |
Most people close to me think that I’m retiring, and they don’t know that I just have had enough. It was a complete surprise to the Department, and a shock to my family. I just couldn’t do it anymore.
I started my career as a police officer about 15 years ago. I was so excited to help people, and to keep people safe. I worked for a large police department with a great record of community involvement, and with very progressive policies. I felt like it would be a good fit.
I excelled in the profession and after a few years was promoted to Detective. I worked in Major Crimes, investigating violent crimes. I eventually specialized in crimes against children and joined a Federal task force. I’ve gone all over the US investigating child predators and felt satisfaction that I was doing the right thing. I also became certified in training law enforcement in Implicit Bias recognition, and ensuring that everyone was treated fairly.
The problem started when several years ago, I observed an officer get into an argument with a suspect in handcuffs. It escalated when the suspect said something about the officer’s wife, and the suspect was thrown to the ground. The officer jumped on top of the suspect and began punching him in the face while he was handcuffed. I intervened and stopped the officer, and then reported what happened. I gave a full statement under oath of exactly what happened. Instead of being fired, the officer was allowed to resign, and he wasn’t charged. I knew I did the right thing, but always felt it was mishandled.
From there, problems started. The supervisors started nitpicking everything I did. I was denied promotions, despite having an absolutely stellar record. Many other officers refused to work with me since I reported what happened. I was transferred to a position that limited me in using my abilities. And as things arose in the news over the past few years about bad policing, I noticed a change in how the rank and file did their jobs and interacted with the public. There was an overwhelming sense that police weren’t appreciated, and that set up officers for negative interactions because they’d show up just waiting for someone to start filming and calling them pigs, etc. mind you, this rarely happened. But from the times it did happen, it created an “us vs them” mentality. Morale dropped and the Department I worked for, which never had an issue with recruitment, started being understaffed. This created an issue where those that usually wouldn’t make it in the hiring process would be hired. Then, they’d be pushed through the 18 month training process, and then would end up interacting with the public. This led to more “viral” issues because of “contempt of cop”, and then slowly the Department started losing credibility in the community.
The final straw for me happened earlier this year. When the Capitol insurrection happened, I was *shocked* at how many apologists there were who defended the actions of the mob there. Politically, if you weren’t conservative you were a cop-hater. Having always been left of center, I’d insert my opinion in conversations based on facts. Then it’d get shut down that I was addicted to the “fake news” of NPR and CNN. I was even reported once for “hurting morale” and was lectured about talking politics, even though everyone else did and my views were different than theirs.
Just after this, there were a couple of police shootings in the news and officers were either fired or charged. I watched the body cam videos that were released, and the decision to charge it fire the officers were completely justified. Everyone else around me tried to shoehorn excuses for the officers, which was directly against all sanctioned training. Then, the Chauvin trial verdict came. Suddenly, from so many decision makers on the Department, he was some type of martyr. Having been a Tactical Controls instructor myself, I knew that his actions were in direct violation of all standard policies for the past 25 years. Still, people wanted to justify it in some way that made the police martyrs who were publicly crucified for their bad decisions.
The day I submitted my resignation, I was called into my division’s captain’s office. The Captain brought up a recent conversation I had while training new recruits in basic tactical controls. I made it a point when talking about restraints to point out how Chauvin’s tactics were exactly what we were trying to avoid when restraining. One of the recruits filed a complaint saying I was “promoting liberal politics” in training. I explained my position to the Captain, who listened to what I said and then replied,
“Andy, you need to choose what side you’re on. Either the police, or the media.”
All of the work I’ve done for the last 15 years, all of the pedophiles and murders I’ve caught, all of the lives I’ve saved including officers, was reduced to an us vs. them mentality. I was disgusted, and walked back to my office. I typed up my resignation and returned 20 minutes later and handed it to the Captain.
I’ve forfeited my full retirement since I’m not staying for the full 20 required to collect it. I don’t know what I’m doing next, but I know that I couldn’t take one more minute in that environment. I began my career to help people, and now the mission is to “preserve the profession” instead of serve the public.
I haven’t told anyone the real reason I’ve quit, because I don’t want to get caught up in debates about the merit of my decision. All I know is that I’m free. I’m half-heartbroken, and half-relieved. The only way I’d work with law enforcement again is if I could start some type of training firm that focused on the best implicit bias training, and the safest tactics. I’m just not sure there’s an appetite for that among police these days.
Anyway, I can’t get this off my chest anywhere else, so I’ve done it here. Sorry for the rant, but there are few that I can actually explain this to without causing a shit storm. Thanks for listening. And sorry for any grammar errors, I didn’t check it before I posted. | I think you should write a book about your experiences. Your story is fascinating and your writing is easy to read. |
I quit my high paying, but toxic job 6 weeks ago with no new job lined up. I just accepted an offer for a new job that will actually pay me more than what I made at the previous job! I'm excited!
Edit: wow, thanks for all the love and support! My head is in a much better place since leaving the toxic job. Now I'm over the moon happy with this new opportunity! Love you all! | BRAG AWAY!! Congrats and kudos to you for taking that leap of faith! |
nothing serious, just wanted to let you guys know haha
edit: holy shit all these nice comments and awards are crazy… never gotten this much before😵💫 | I hope you don’t encounter too many asshat customers when you work, those extra nuggets can lift my mood in an instant. |
Years later, before his death, he suffered from Alzheimer's. When it was at the stage where where he confused who people were, didn't know where he was sometimes, and had some hallucinations (but before he was in hospital near the end), he came to visit. Sometimes he got really really scared, and wouldn't tell anyone what was the matter.
He would get so agitated. I begged, what's wrong, please tell me. He told me the goblins were running all around the floor and they were going to get him. So I kicked and punched, asking "did I get him?"
"Yes, but there's more over there!"
And I'd kick and swing and curse them until he said I got them all. And he was relieved and calm.
He accepted my imagined best friend and respected him, so I accepted his gobblin imagined enemies, and fought them off. I think we're even. I miss him . | Thank you for this. Perfect story. 🥺 |
I'm not sure if this is the right sub... My mom is a widow and lives in Florida. I heard about the sky rocketing rent situation there. My mother owns 2 properties in the state. They provide her a very modest fixed monthly income.
I called and ask her if she was raising her rent.
She said "No. Because if I raise it by $300 for example, that's an extra $300/month for me but that person has to scramble to find that money".
Fuck yeah, Mom. That made me so happy to hear. | My rent is 800….in California….in the valley….it’s a town house. Upstairs/downstairs, 2 bedroom 1 bath. Garage. Large living room. Front and backyard. Lawn service. Water, sewer, gas included. We have pets. Landlady is quick to get anything fixed that needs fixing. Takes anything we do ourselves for the unit out of our rent. Let’s us have freedom like painting the fence. When my husbands dad died she let us skip rent that month. We didn’t ask for it. She just said “Don’t worry about rent this month.”. She vehemently refuses to raise rent even by $50 even though her family pushes her to. She is an angel and an amazing person. We try extra hard to be good tenants and not cause her worry. People like her and your mother are blessings in the world we live in. |
I’m a girl. I game a lot. I’ve had a looot of games full of preteens and somehow grown ass men who believe they are the peak of humor when they say the same sexist shit over and over. Its exhausting. Its tiring.
When i first started to game I let every comments get to me, fighting them back. Then I would get the hysterical laughter that wow they angered the gamer girl its so funny.
So next I tried laughing with them which was a lot to work towards, but I got there. But the jokes are literally the same things over and over. “Oh my gosh is this a GAmeR gIrL?!” “Oh no were gonna lose now.” “can you be my e-girl?” and as soon as you respond to one even with a laugh, they start going deeper into the sexism and disgusting comments.
Yesterday I was playing Valorant with my bf. First game of the day was amazing. This is the first game I have that I am really good at without months of grinding. I even clutched my first 1v3 with defuse. It was nasty asf lmfao. But directly after we got a game with maybe a 12 year old, 15, and 16. Immediately they called out me being a girl, made their jokes, then continued to make jokes for the next 5 rounds. I am immediately in a bad mood, I just start playing like absolute shit and I cant get past the mood to get any better. They took those chances to die first and watch my screen and joke about how bad i am. Mood gets worse. I never responded at any point to them. If i did i knew it would fuel them so hard.
But jesus christ can you kids just learn that making fun of woman is in no way any peak of humor and if you find it that hilarious and fun to do, you are a very very sad boy.
edit: hi! this really really blew up! i just wrote the post to let it out of my system as i didnt call them out during the game via my bfs advise so it was still bugging me. i had work to get to and ive been feeling my phone going off all day and almost 300 responses have been added and ill try to read them all! thanks for reading and chatting about this! very relieved to just know im not the only one exhausted of this being such a trend still in the gaming community. hopefully we can start the change!
edit 2: ive noticed a couple comments and had a very interesting dm about how i am a weak girl, socially inept, and that boys will always banter and i need to get a thicker skin. heres my thoughts on that. i get banter. i do lots of it. but you really should know your audience before you start ripping into someone. what i talked about here and what a lot of other girls and guys have talked about in the comments are not about the banter. boys genuinely just harassing and abusing girls on their games because theyre girls. a lot mention them being demeaned, some mention rape, threats, many things. banter should be both sides. when its a group of boys making fun of, making gross comments, all directed at a girl who is saying nothing back or clearly is uncomfortable, thats not banter. its harassment. its bullying. ive done banter. banter in games is fun. what i talked about in this post and what many other girls experience is not banter. boys making jokes is not black and white. stop excusing their behavior as banter.
edit 3: ive gotten a lot of comments and dms saying im weak, need thicker skin, should just mute, to stop being a whiny bitch, and that everyone gets bullied in games and to just stfu. i mentioned first that i game a lot. how many times do you think i ran into toxicity? how many posts about it do you actually see from me? just this one. i had a bad game, woke up still a bit bothered, made a post specifically in a off my chest subreddit where i assumed 2 people max would read so i didnt even include a tldr and it blew up. yes i know i should have muted. i am very new to valorant still and though it should have been obvious, it didnt cross my mind during that game that lasted to a score of 12-13 so it was a really long game to sit through constant abuse.
no i dont think im special. none of the woman in these comments think theyre special and deserve special treatment in games. just stop being gross. stop sexualizing our existence. yes i know other people are bullied in games, doesnt make it any more okay. and it also doesnt take away from the problem either. doesnt make the racism in gaming okay. the homophobia. none of it is okay. just because you became complicit with it and normalize it doesnt mean its okay. the gaming community really needs to change for the better. and excusing toxicity as how men just act competitively? theres been numerous men commenting about how disgusted they are by other men. how they actively try to keep the community safer for woman. if they can do it, so can you. i dont expect the community to be banter free, but bullying isnt banter. harassment isnt banter. threats isnt banter. banter is a conversation, not one sided. | Yeah, as a guy who's girlfriend and sister both game; you are not funny, you are not clever, and I hope no female is ever tricked into spending time with you.
I hate those creepy fucks. |
To make a long story short, I have had a lot of achievements in life. People viewed me as someone very smart with a lot of potential. I know that sounds braggy, so I don't want to elaborate too much, but it is relevant.
I planned to become a nurse practitioner. To get my feet wet in the healthcare industry, I became a caretaker. A stepping stone if you will. I always felt so much pressure to go to school and work on my degree.
My current job is I take care of people in hospice. I help them do things like eat, shower, and yes, clean them up after they use the bathroom. Most people would be surprised by this, but my job is the highlight of my life. I feel privileged to be able to care for someone at the end of their life. I have held hands of people dying with no family around. I have pretty low self esteem, but one thing I've always loved about myself is my compassion. I was MADE for this. Every day I can tell myself that I am a good person for what I do for others.
I took care of my dad in hospice, I think he would be proud to see me help others through that, degrees be damned. People call my job "low level" because it just requires a 6 week long class and a test for a certificate, and it involves a lot of things most people don't want to do, like wiping butts. But the people I care for LOVE me, and I love them. That love fills my heart so completely.
Not continuing my education was simply not an option. Until today. I don't want to be a nurse, at least for now. I don't want to be a nurse practitioner. Right now I want to help another human by doing exactly what I do - I'm happy.
One day I may change my mind and further my education. But right now I am so happy and fulfilled in my job, why change that? Some idea of "potential"? I'm caring for people and that's what matters. I'm not saying nurses/nurse practitioners don't care for people, I'm saying I like the WAY I do it in my job. My job gives me the opportunity to be the most involved with the patients. My job is a job of love, that's what I was called to do.
Today I accepted I am happy where I'm at. I don't care if people think it's low level. It just doesn't matter anymore. I'm happy. | you're an angel and you know what's best for you:) don't even worry about anybody else |
My grandparents had a laptop at their house that we were allowed to play video games on, which was a big deal for my cousin and I because neither of us really had computers we were allowed to play games on at home. Every Wednesday, when we would go over to their house for dinner, my cousin and I would go into the office and play video games together on the computer. The games we were playing weren't that complicated (think Webkinz, Poptropica, that kind of thing), and we were young, maybe from the age of 6 to maybe 10, but practically every Wednesday the ritual was the same: eat dinner, escape into the office, and play video games.
Our grandpa loved playing them with us. He didn't do everything with us, but whenever there was a difficult level, a hard puzzle, or even technical issues, he would always come back to the office and was happy to help us. He was the one that set up those accounts for us, and he kept the passwords in his fireproof safe in case we ever lost or forgot them.
But today I found out from the same cousin (who only just found out from his Mom, my aunt) that whenever we would be gone for the rest of the week, he would spend his free time each evening playing those little minigames that earn virtual money within the games we played just so when we came back we would have extra money to spend in the game. Now keep in mind that he worked a 9-5 job, and though he was always around enough, it's not like he was retired and trying to find ways to kill time. We were young, and I'm absolutely sure that we never noticed, but I'm also sure we took full advantage of the magical currency that would appear in our inventory when we would get there on Wednesday evening.
Our grandpa died three years ago next Saturday, and Christmas is always hard because it was the time of year where he absolutely lit up as a person and went all out in terms of decorations, gifts, etc. I know he cared about us and loved us, but this little gesture that I had absolutely no idea about just makes his memory so much better. I miss him like hell.
EDIT: Thank you all for your kind words. He was a good man. I’ve spent the morning crying happy tears while thinking about him. Thank y’all. | This is incredible. What a sweet man. |
My son was born a few weeks ago and I love him to death. But he’s ugly as hell. I hate myself for thinking it but it’s impossible not to. My whole family has been lying to me, saying “omg your kid’s so cute” yeah. Horseshit. The little guy looks like a potato on drugs. | I thought newborns are notoriously known for looking like aliens lol. |
I will say first that I usually try to see where people are coming from, but it’s extremely hard with this issue. It’s especially hard to keep my cool about it because I know my situation wasn’t even half as bad as some of the other women or assigned female at birth people who have been raped.
I was in a relationship a few years ago and I was forced into unprotected sex several times. He would get pissed off, break shit, scream at me, and keep demanding until I eventually broke down and said yes. Sometimes I would be at his house and he would refuse to drive me back to my place unless I had sex with him. It also didn’t help that I felt I did not have much of a friend group either and my conservative, abstinence only upbringing made me scared to reach out to anyone about how he was treating me. When I broke up with him, he cussed me out, told me to kill myself, threatened me, and called me any awful term he could think of.
The shit thing is, it was hard to distance myself from him since we went to the same school, so he took advantage of me again. This is what led to me having a pregnancy scare. I was so scared I would have to deal with the shame of that and never be able to move on from him that I started planning suicide. I don’t think any support system would have helped, because had I been pregnant, I would have been stuck with him on some level for the rest of my life. No matter what you want to argue, you will always be tied to the parent of your child even if you’re not together. I would rather have been dead than that. I remember being so close to overdosing on pills during that time, but only stopping and hiding them when my roommate walked in. I was fortunate enough to miscarry, but not every rape victim is.
I was traumatized from that, but as I mentioned before, that’s not half as bad as what it could have been. I’ve seen stories of young girls raped by family members, women raped by strangers, and abuse of power relationships. I had a small taste of how bad it could have been, but there are so many people who have similar experiences to me who do go through with suicide or end up killing themselves while trying to perform their own abortions. The pro-life movement is literally putting a fetus above a woman’s life. Literally, every fucking time I see a post about pro-life I feel PTSD from my abuse and rape. I went to therapy for years and I’m still not over it. I’ve seen women who were forced to carry their fetus to term stay in abusive relationships because of it. I’ve talked to several women with similar experiences to mine. Pro-life isn’t saving a baby, it’s jeopardizing a woman’s life. It’s empowering abusers and rapists to keep raping and rewarding them with being able to have a child and keep their victims under their thumb. Whenever I hear someone say they’re pro-life, what they don’t realize is that their stance is what would have caused my suicide. | I fully agree. Thank you for sharing. |
I am an atheist who grew up as an evangelical, right wing, pastor’s kid in rural America. Son of God arguments aside, the teachings of Jesus have great value on a humanitarian level, and the notion that this f*cking sociopathic monster would dare to pose with a bible in hand in front of a church — claiming to know or understand or be associated with anything having to do with the teachings of Jesus — makes my blood boil on a level I didn’t think possible. To quote the teacher himself, “Many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’”
Shame on this particular worker of lawlessness and ~~everyone~~ *anyone* who claims to be Christian that has enabled him.
Edit: Just want to make it very clear that I am not in any way assuming all followers of Christianity support and enable Trump. These things can — and in my opinion, should — be mutually exclusive. I apologize for any confusion or offense, and I’ve edited a word that I think makes it more clear. | This was the best idea that his inner circle came up with? I want to know what the discarded ideas were. |
My husband recently broke a bone and had to have surgery to have it repaired. The surgery was necessary for him to use his dominant hand/arm.
The billed amount was *56k* can you believe that?! Neither of us have surgery before and had no idea that medical care at a hospital was so expensive.
I have always wondered why people complain about the cost of medical care and I now understand. You see, we have really great heath insurance and all we paid was a $100 copay for his procedure. I used to be pretty against universal heath insurance, because it would actually be more expensive than our current premiums. We are upper middle class and we can get out of touch by being in our bubble.
After this event occurred, I have now realized that my opinion on universal health insurance came from a place of privilege. No one in the whole world should have to worry about the cost of necessary medical care. Had we not been able to afford to have my husbands bone fixed, he his life would have been changed forever. It makes me cry to know that people have to make these types of choices every day. I am humbled and ashamed to have been so inhuman. I have decided that I do not care how much more I have to pay in taxes, everyone should have access to health care regardless of economic status. No one deserves to have their life ruined. | My mom was rendered homeless after dad got cancer. She lives on my brothers sofa now, at age 78. The hospital literally took her house away. |
Watching the debate is sad. This is the best our country has to offer. Just depressing. | My husband muted it cuz the arguing of nonsense is hurting his head |
My boyfriend was previously married in his twenties. He never talks about her much, just that it was something that happened in his life and he doesn't think of her much anymore. He's never said anything bad about her, but he has indicated that she had some mental health issues that lead to the decline of their marriage.
All in all, I figured her loss was my gain, as my boyfriend is the sweetest, kindest partner I have ever had.
Today he is at work, but told me I could go into his place to hang out before he got off. I got on his laptop to watch some netflix, and found it open to facebook (yeah, he lives in the past a bit).
There was a chat box open with a woman's name. It took me a minute, but I eventually recognized it was his ex-wife.
My heckles were up, I'll admit. For a horrible few seconds I thought my whole happy relationship was about to crumble. But then I read them.
She messaged first. She seemed frantic, maybe in the midst of a mental health crisis. She told him she desperately wanted him back, and claimed he is the only man who ever treated her with kindness. She was practically begging.
And my boyfriend responded to her that he is in a happy relationship and he will not respond to any contact like that again (and I let out I sigh of relief).
But he went on to tell her that, while they will never be able to be friends, he did believe she is a good person. But her mental health issues make it impossible for her to form a stable and healthy relationship with others. He told her he hopes she can find therapy that works for her.
He told her that he never wants to know her again, but he does hope that she can eventually have a stable and happy life. But that it won't happen until she confronts her troubles.
He ended by reiterating that he is in a relationship with someone he loves very much, and that he won't ever respond to communication from her again. But he did wish her well.
He worded it a lot more eloquently than I am able to. But I was in tears at the bittersweet feeling. It reminds me of all the reasons I love him.
And if I were to ever speak to his ex, I would tell her that I am truly sorry for what she has to deal with. Part of me wanted to be angry that she would send a message to my boyfriend like that, but I really only feel sympathy. I'm sorry you are hurting and I am sorry for how it is affecting your life. I'm sorry it made you miss out on the wonderful relationship I have now.
I hope you can find your own one day, when you are healthy. | U and your bf sound like nice people, hopefully she does get the right help |
I can’t believe it’s been four long years of his bullshit and now it’s FINALLY OVER! JOE BIDEN IS THE PRESIDENT!!!!! KAMALA HARRIS IS THE VP!!!!!! ITS LIKE A GIANT WEIGHT HAS BEEN LIFTED OFF MY SHOULDERS
edit: the “it’s over” comment was referring to the constant news headlines & social media posts about trump now that he’s not in office; there are still many issues in the usa that are very much present and need to be worked on | I’m generally a realist bordering on pessimist, but I’m getting irritated with the chorus of voices out on socials today reminding us that everything is still awful and we are ignorant and naive to be celebrating. Duh! Nobody thinks the world just magically changed. We are simply enjoying a long-awaited, long-overdue sigh of relief. The storm rages on, but ship will no longer be steered by an incompetent, science-hating bigot. That is a good thing. And we celebrate good things, especially after a year like the one we’ve just endured. Ok thanks bye. |
my birthday is on sunday & ive requested a few days off for it. my mental health has been in shambles lately, i haven’t slept and i’ve been having such horrible anxiety. i’ve cried pretty much everyday for the past month.
i wasn’t really looking forward to my birthday, in fact i was dreading it. a lot of my “friends” have stopped talking to me so i didn’t expect anyone to care about it.
well, today is my last day at work before my small vacation. i walk into my office and there’s streamers, balloons and roses all over my office. somebody even made brownies & someone else got me my favorite latte from starbucks.
it’s been a really rough few weeks and this was so nice? and unexpected? i’ve only worked here for like 2 months.. i’m just sitting in my office crying. it’s so nice to work somewhere where i’m appreciated.
edit: just to clarify,
i am an essential, i work for a disability lawyer. i love my job so much, as i help people on the daily basis.
also.. i am FLOORED by the amount of attention this post received, i never thought it’d get this much traction! i’ve never had over 200 people say happy birthday to me, i am shocked and i am so grateful for all the kind words.. thank you all so much! 🥺❤️
i came on here thinking i have no friends and left with over 200+ new ones. thank you so much with my whole heart, all these comments have me beaming. 💓 | aww that's really sweet of them, advance happy birthday and enjoy your time off |
“If you are reading this, I am no longer alive.” That was the first line on a note I found that my boyfriend wrote a few days ago. It felt like my heart instantly stopped beating, I couldn’t move. When I finally allowed myself to continue I didn’t understand what I was reading.
MY boyfriend. The one who constantly supports me in everything I do. The one who never fails to have a smile on his face. The one light of hope in my life. I had no idea he felt like his presence on this earth was meaningless. I had no idea that he felt absolutely worthless.
He apologized to his family knowing all the pain it would bring. He thanked them for all their support but told them that there was nothing they could’ve done to prevent it. I put myself in their shoes and couldn’t possibly imagine losing a child, a brother, a best friend.
Then it was my turn. “My darling, the most painful goodbye.” I wanted so badly to just stop reading and tell myself this wasn’t happening. The things he said about me.. How much I changed his life. The way he’d miss looking into my eyes, feeling my touch. He said he hopes he’d be able to look down on me, he wished I would find my true soulmate. Someone to make me happier than he ever did. All of my emotions were piling up and I could barely breathe. How could he not understand that HE is my soulmate? He is the reason I wake up in the morning, he’s the reason for every smile I make, every moment of joy I feel.
The good thing about all of this is that he’s still here with me, alive. I’m not sure what would’ve been his breaking point and when it would’ve happened. If I had found that note after the fact, my life would be very different today. He woke up when he heard me crying and asked what was wrong. I asked what the note was and began crying hysterically.
He held me and we cried together. I told him how much I needed him, how I couldn’t continue to build my life without him by my side. I told him I’d do whatever is necessary to keep him here with me.
The happiest of people can still feel so alone sometimes. Even though this was absolutely heartbreaking, I’m glad I know what he’s going through and how I can help him if he ever feels this way again.
EDIT: Thank you everyone, SO much for all of the kind words, support and love. I have read all the comments and there’s just no way I can respond to each of them individually. Thank you all for sharing your stories, my deepest condolences go out to all of you who have lost someone you love. I am eternally grateful my boyfriend is with me today. I told him how much support he was getting from everyone and he teared up. Seriously, I can’t thank you guys enough. Your advice was amazing and I know how I can help him more than ever now! Sending so much love to you all! ❤️ | This was beautifully written and I’m so happy that you got to talk to him about his note. When you’re ready to take your own life it really is the darkest yet hopeful place you can be. I’m hoping you both get help as life can change very quickly depending on your headspace. Most suicides from depression are heartbreaking as you can find some joy again and you won’t be able to comprehend how close you came to leaving |
I (m18) was adopted by a family when I was five. I don't know my biological parents. The family already had three children. Three girls. Apparently after the first girl they tried for a boy but it always ended up being a girl so after three girls they adopted me to finally have a son. In the first few years of my life they treated us all well.
My "sisters" however were never able to accept me. They saw me as an outsider who doesn't belong in the family. Actually it was the oldest one called Alicia who poisoned the other two called Maria and Juliet against me by telling them that our parents would treat me better because I was a boy which wasn't true. In fact all three of them protested against me getting a room in the same floor as them. And my parents gave in. There was a spare room in the basement where I had to sleep now.
This however just lead to them making fun of me, calling me names like "Cellar Rat" and many more things. I just shrugged it off assuming thats how siblings treated each other. But I realized that having my sleeping room in the basement somehow also effected the way my parents treated me. Sleeping down there felt like I was out of sight for them. They lost interest in me and I became less significant and important. While on the other hand they started to focus more on my sisters.
When I was 13 they completely lost interest in me. It was like I was a homeless person living in the basement. They missed all the appointments I had. They didn't care about my grades. They never even called me to eat. Sometimes I would come upstairs and see how they already took away the plates. If I was lucky there were leftovers that I could eat. Do you think I got presents for my birthday? No because they didn't even know my birthday in the first place. And last christmas they said they forgot to buy presents for me saying they will go shopping with me the next few weeks to get me something which as you might expect never happened.
I don't feel despise towards my sisters. I'm glad they have a home where they are cared for and that they can feel loved. I just don't understand why they would adopt me if they just throw me away like a piece of paper? I think they just wanted to have this feeling to have a son for some time but then realized they could never love me like one of their own. And putting me into the basement was the last straw. That is when they completely banished me from their minds.
And I just can't do this anymore. I decided to pack my things and leave. I will do it tonight. I stay at a friends house for a while and try to look for a job that hopefully gets me enough money so that I can rent an apartment. And after that I will never look back. I decided to leave a letter behind in my room. I wouldn't be surprised if they never even find it. Let alone notice that I'm gone. I use a throwaway for this but I actually don't know why. I thought I don't want them to see this but now that I think about it I could send them this post.
I don't know why I even write this in here in the first place. I feel so desperate. Maybe I want this because I hope that someone is interested in me and my story. | Make sure you take your birth certificate and social security card when you go. You'll need them. Also your high school diploma if you've graduated. Get a post office box for mail, so you can have things sent to you in one place if paper mail, so you don't have to worry that you can't get mail. |
She used to share my Spotify account and would like her songs and they ultimately ended up getting mixed in with all of my liked songs. It’s been 4 years and even today when I shuffle my liked songs I will come across a song that is not particularly my taste and I know it was one of her songs.
She didn’t use my account enough to flood it with her music so it’s very rare to come across her music. Just makes it extra special when it does happen.
It’s also great to come across songs we listened to together. So many memories and still giving me new ones.
EDIT: Thank you everyone for the amazing and kind words! I have tears in my eyes typing this because of all the love.
She was incredibly kind and she lived to make the world kinder (literally, that’s what she tried to do actively) and she would have loved to see this. | I love your spirit.
They never truly leave us <3 |
I miss being my own person. I miss sleeping in. I miss being impulsive. I miss focusing on my career. I miss traveling.
My daughter is 1.5 years old. She's a great kid. Ahead on all her milestones. Good temperament (for a toddler). And she's adorable.
I feel like I'm a pretty good parent. I spend tons of time with her, she eats well, she is constantly being challenged through new games and toys, and I try to never show any negative emotions around her (aside from scolding).
But if I had a do-over I would definitely change my mind about wanting to have kids. The responsibility is too much, I'm too selfish, and I am not naturally a nurturing type of person.
It feels good to write this out since it's too taboo to discuss with people without them potentially becoming concerned for my daughters well being.
Happy holidays reddit. Thanks for listening. | Valid. As long as you don’t take it out on your kid. Good luck. |
These past few years have been hard on us both financially and emotionally, but through it all he has stood by me and supported us when my cheque can't cover a full half of the bills.
I've recently come into some money to pay off both our credit cards,pay half of our expenses and have a good start to a savings, and he's very grateful for that even though I feel like he's done so much more for us.
What he doesn't know is that there's a brand new Xbox waiting under the tree for him. He deserves it more then anyone I know.
3 weeks until I don't have to hide this from him anymore.
Edit: a handful of people have asked for an update, so I will post one on Christmas or Boxing day!
Second edit: My husband likes Xbox, he does not like PlayStation. All his friends play online together via Xbox Live, it's a great way for him to stay in touch. Please stop suggesting I return this and buy him a PS4. | i was not expecting this but i’m here for it!! |
I’ve been dating this guy for a few months. We met on bumble and he was really nice and cute. He is usually busy studying as he’s an engineering student (I am too but he’s a grad).
A few months ago he asked to be my boyfriend because he didn’t want me meeting up with anyone else on bumble. I hadn’t been messaging anyone on bumble anyway because we were talking, but I agreed and deleted the app and we became exclusive.
Lately he hasn’t been able to spend time together a lot. Some times we go 2 weeks without seeing each other. He’ll still text cute things about how I’m his girl and how he misses me but that’s about it. I try to give him space because I know studying is hard.
Well recently my friend told me that even if you delete bumble, your account stays up if you don’t delete your account. I was creeped out by this so I downloaded the app to officially delete my account. The very first person I see when I redownload the account is my boyfriend!
And not only that, when I scroll to the bottom of his profile, 2 of the pictures were taken while we were dating, one from only a week ago that I took myself. So that makes he’s actively going on it.
So instead of texting him to break up, I decided to be an immature brat.
So I asked my friend for her account and swiped until I found his account. She looks similar to me and I know she’d be his type. (They never met). Then I messaged him and let him chat her profile up until he asked for a date on Saturday.
Guess what I’m doing ? You can judge me all you want but come this Saturday he’s going to be sitting at the bar all alone and then when he inevitable texts me to come comfort him I’m going to tell him I know he’s cheating and to never talk to me again.
Thanks for indulging me in my petty revenge story. Lmk if I’m a bad person. | You should have your friend go forward with the date but you show up instead!! Ohhh sweet revenge |
Yep, I did it. I lied.
Background story: My wife is a 3rd shift nurse at a major hospital in our metro area. She's been working a grueling schedule of back to back days for weeks since returning from maternity leave. Some days she doesn't even get to see me or our 3 month old son. I'm a teacher, so I'm home during the summer and I'm the primary care giver when I don't have football practice. The other night she ruined our son's sleep schedule by accident. She had a mental breakdown, tossed her glasses and broke down crying because she feels she doesn't know her own son's life and is a terrible mom. Might I add, she's a tremendous mother and wife and she makes such a wonderful impact on many peoples lives.
Anyways. She came home this morning to start a streak of 3 days off. We were lying on the ground playing with our son and she tickled his tummy. He let out a big giggle and she lost it. Starting crying happy tears as it was the first giggle she's experienced; I joined along side her and we celebrated our son's first giggle together. Now she's asleep, happy and content.
That wasn't his first giggle. He's giggled with me with a few times this week. That's a secret that will go with me til the end of time. This morning will always be his first laugh, always. She deserved that moment of pure bliss and happiness.
So yeah, I lied to my wife today and I'm cool with it. That is all.
Edit: Thank you to everyone for the rewards. You guys didn't have to do that! | I believe in life there are three types of lies. Regular lies, white lies (where no one gets hurt), and then golden lies, where the lie actually does a tremendous amount of good. This was a golden lie. |
I've spent the last month trying to dig my way out of a 40k debt with my mortgage lender.
They had taken the first step of filing for foreclosure.
To take my house.
On the same day I managed to scrap the $40k together, today...out of nowhere, they APPROVED THE LOAN MODIFICATION TO JUST REFACTOR THE OUTSTANDING BALANCE *BACK INTO THE MORTGAGE.*
Guys, I have done the paperwork for that application 4 separate times since 2020. All denied for various vague, bullshit reasons.
The only reason I even bothered to do it again was just to temporarily suspend the foreclosure process.
Never expected it to actually *go* anywhere.
So now I have a mortgage in good standing, 50k+ in the bank, didn't have to touch my investments, and I'm about to sell the farm next month for $300k+.
*I couldn't afford to buy bird food 3 weeks ago.*
Life is a mother. fucking. *simulation.*
I can't tell anyone irl, because I try to keep my financial ups and downs to myself. But...holy shit. Just...holy shit.
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Edit: wtf RIP inbox. Damn. You guys are wonderful.
Thanks for so many kind and encouraging replies!
The biggest question seems to be about the 40k, so...I sold shit here that isn't the property itself, cashed out a 401k (technically an investment but oh well), and managed to locate where my late parent had stashed years of my paychecks after stealing them out of the account she'd "helped" me open at 16.
(I'd thought she'd just spent the money a long time ago...so...yay?)
No meth. Sorry!
I just couldn't pull off a bald head like Walter White. 😔 | I’m seriously interested in how you managed to make 40k in 3 weeks? Cause whatever it is, I’m in |
We have been together for 11 years, married for 9. Things have always been a bit stormy beteeen us, but have been getting worse for about 6 months. She is very controlling and manipulative to the extent my wages had to be paid into her account, I had to do the housework to her specification, or else she would lash out at me with wooden spatulas. If I argued with her she lashed out. If I talked moderately (She called it "shouting") she would lash out. She would also deny me meals, wouldnt allow me to have my own door key, she told me I was worthless and nobody would want me. If I tried to defend myself from her attacks she said she would have me arrested and I would lose my job. Yesterday was the last straw. After being hit once again, I called the police and had her arrested. I have moved out of the home, I'm in a Bed and Breakfast tonight. Tomorrow I'm going to the council about getting accommodation. My life is now restarting and this time I'm in the driving seat.
Update: After her plea hearing last week where she (somehow) pled 'not guilty', I'm now going to court in Feb next year to give evidence against her in court. This could be interesting. | I am so f****** proud of you, you did the right thing, and although there might me emotional and mental wounds and scars just know that you did the right thing & NOBODY should have to put up with someone like that. Get some therapy i know it can come in handy for the long run. Its time to break these cycles and stop putting up with them, sounds like a narcissist to me >_< youre strong and your kids need you. Sending love and light your way. |
I’m a deep South, born and bred, gun-toting, right to bear arms Republican. I’ve also got a child in the same age range as the Uvalde victims. Sitting at my desk this morning and watching the names and ages of the victims roll in, I was physically ill.
Watching a news clip of Ted Cruz say that more support for law enforcement was needed, not new gun laws, made me want to punch my monitor. Efforts to pass new laws requiring background checks to purchase a gun have stalled in the Senate twice in the last few years. BACKGROUND CHECKS!!! The bare minimum! The bare minimum!!!
I’m going to go hug my child a little tighter and rethink some of my stances on a few issues. | Yep, this is exactly what broke a good friend of mine who had been damn well pro-gun forever. His 7 year old was scared to go to school because he's worried it'll happen at his school, and my friend realized that there was really nothing truthful he could say to assure the kid that it wouldn't. |
On Dec 10 I came home from work to find all the apartment lights on. I called his name to see why he was still awake. No answer. I got to the bedroom door and when I tried to turn the knob it was tightly held in place, and I felt a heavy weight press back against the door. I freaked out, screaming his name and forcing my way into the room to find him.
He used a belt. The bruises around his neck were a deep purple, dotted deep from the holes in his belt. He was pale, so pale that the scars on his chest were white. They were old deep scars that were always red. His hands were blue, as were his feet and stomach. Shaking his arms his hands were so fucking cold. I screamed at him to wake up. Please wake up honey please wake up. I called 911, I tried my hardest to perform CPR. Air simply escaped his mouth when I pressed down. My arms were BURNING and I was sweating, and I screamed over and over again that I needed him please don't you understand that he's all I have he's my world he's my teammate in life I love him.
It was to no avail. Paramedics came in, took one look at him and didn't touch him. I held onto a paramedic woman and hyperventilated that he was dead he was dead he was so cold I didn't know why did he do it. There was a note on the bed. I can't really remember what it said, though I know it wasn't much. "I can't do this anymore. I love you."
He had BPD and ADHD, but was taking proper medication and going to therapy. He was proud of his work in therapy, and he made a point in telling me not to worry, that he was too scared to actually kill himself. Deep down my fear never went away but I tried to be comforted by his promises.
I guess it didn't matter in the end, did it?
Thank you for listening. All I do is flashback to the moment I found him all day, every day. I don't want to morbidly bother my parents or friends with these details. It's a hard story to hear, especially over and over again. If I keep this inside of me I'll explode.
**EDIT (Jan 5):** Everyone. The amount of messages I've read has been truly astounding. I can't fathom the thought of all these strangers taking the time to share their stories, to give me warm words, and wanting to see me move forward in a healthy way. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Some people had a few questions, which I'll happily answer:
**What type of therapy did he do?**
He was doing Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT). From what I understand it was like a course with modules that he and his therapist (who he saw every two weeks, and really liked) would go through together. It involved applying emotional regulation techniques to your own life, in order to keep from basically, freaking out in a depressive or manic episode and keeping level. Like I said, he was proud of this work and used it as proof that he was doing better. Reading everyone's messages, you have reminded me that hey, he WAS proud and happy in those moments. And that's what matters.
**What happened to the note?**
I never touched it actually, it was on a notebook on the bed. When I had to come back to the apartment the next day, the police had taken the note, as well as his drivers license.
**What kind of person was he?**
Man, this is the hardest one to write. How do you describe the most wonderful person to have ever stepped into your life? He loved Muay Thai, and he had actually done a few amateur fights before we had started dated. He loved building things with his hands, like Lego and wire wrapping crystals and bending wire in bunches to look like trees. He was so sweet, he always told me I was beautiful all the time. Whenever I cooked us dinner or did something for him he would be stoked about it. That's the thing, when he was happy, he was SO HAPPY. He had a wonderful laugh. He would always make stupid faces to get me to laugh too. He would have done anything to protect me. Sometimes when I got home late from work at night and he'd be asleep, I'd go to kiss his face and he'd grab me and hold me to his chest. He was simply the best.
His name was Justin, and he had just turned 24 in August. Thank you for taking the time and energy to listen to me. I can't tell you how much it means. | >He was proud of his work in therapy, and he made a point in telling me not to worry, that he was too scared to actually kill himself. Deep down my fear never went away but I tried to be comforted by his promises.
>I guess it didn't matter in the end, did it?
I don't believe he was lying to you. Little victories do mean a lot, and we don't take it for granted as often as you'd think. It feels really good to be happy, even for a moment. He was having good times, he had things to be proud of, and he feared death too.
Depression and anxiety really are sicknesses. We all wish it could be simpler.
Sorry for your loss, this is probably still horrifying for you. Here's hoping you can and will power through it. |
She was told when she was a teenager she’d never have kids. This was our second round of IVF. I just got the news and I had to tell someone. I’M GONNA BE A FUCKING DAD!
Edit: Wow this blew up! I appreciate the attention, but my wife did all the hard work. I just jizzed in a cup and tried my best to keep her sane. Thanks to those of you who gave advice, I’m gonna need it in the coming months. | Hell yeah! You go out there and be the best damn dad that ever existed!!!!!!! |
I just want someone to read about him and know that there was a really great person named Robin.
He was 46 years old and passed away last night. He had just gotten married maybe two weeks ago. He didn’t think he would ever find love again, but he died a loved man.
He lived a pretty rough life and the years had hardened him. He was a cook, a really good one, and he took a lot of pride in his work. He worked a lot, was underpaid, and kept to himself when he wasn’t working. He liked to drink, get on the internet, and read conspiracies. He would always go to work and have something to talk about. He was a very intelligent man even though some of his conspiracies were a little far fetched. Some were legit, too, though.
He was pretty funny and had a huge heart. He didn’t let a lot of people see that side of him, so it was very special when he did. He pulled himself out of some dark times with nobody to lean on but himself. He was resilient and independent, and work took over his life. He met his wife at his last job as a cook where she was a server. She gave her heart fully to him and stood by his side and fought for him till the end.
His name was Robin and he was a wonderful person. This world is a little emptier without him. | I’m so sorry for your loss! :,(
He seemed like a great guy, thank you for sharing. |
new account so she can’t read this because she’d probably be embarrassed :)
This is a very exciting moment for the both of us. For context my girlfriend goes mute from time to time due to how her brain handles schizophrenia. She battles everyday with this awful disorder and her brains reaction is not to speak. Me and her met in the mental hospital I was in for a eating disorder and she was in for being a danger to herself and others and we hit it off from there. She’s great she’s blunt even when she’s writing on paper because she can’t speak. We moved into a tiny little apartment at the age of 18 and we live happily although face difficulties due to her battle with schizophrenia. Today we were doing our normal things that we do day to day, my girlfriend was doing theory work for her course at college. Eventually I noticed her acting a bit off. This is normal but she seemed quite fidgety. I look over and out of nowhere she calls me ‘handsome’ I almost burst into tears. I’m sat here writing this as she’s sleeping but I really can’t believe it. Shes speaking and it’s been years it’s almost too good to be true. I’m truly happy. | That's awesome my dude! Great to hear! My mom has schizophrenia also, so I'm glad she's doing well in school too! |
Today- the day when I felt how satisfaction feels like. I can't explain how happy I am for my dog, after 2 years of tears, struggling with eating, sleeping and helping my little to socialize with other humans and dogs, Today, we did it. Until today, my dog never let me to pet him, he was just happy when I came home eventually, keeping the distance from me. I can't imagine what this dog been through and how can he feel about everything that happened. But after 2 years, he felt safe for the first time. He deserve the best, and humans were horrible to him.
I am so proud of him. | My poor cat is the same - it took a year for him to come out of the spare room, another 6 months for him to be in the same room with us and now, 2 years after we first got him, he actually comes and asks us to pet him.
Good for you for persevering! |
I just opened my lunch box that my boyfriend packed me this morning, only to find that he has cut the crusts off my sandwich.
It's so fucking cute, I can't deal with it.
Not even my mother paid enough attention to know I don't eat the crusts on my sandwich, and this man figures it out without even needing to ask.
This diabolical act requires retaliation. As the scales have now fallen out of balance, i'll be driving 40 minutes after work to pick up his favourite donuts to shove them in his face.
Revenge shall be sweet. (Pun intended) | What a horrible terrible person! You should definitely go out of your way to torture him with his favorite donuts for sure. How could he do that to you!!!
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btw this is the nicest thing I've read on Reddit all minute. |
So I just finished my laboratory for a mass in my neck which appears benign. Sadly, the doctor said that mass is extended to my upper chest with some organs. She said it's that bad like God help her when she operates me. My mom is crying downstairs I can hear her even though she tries to hide it. I don't know what to feel like look I'm just 18 yrs old. Already cried yesterday and now somehow I feel nothing like just pure hollow inside of me.
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So the operations will most likely happen next week and there is no guaranteeing that I am still alive to get out of that Hospital.
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Ps. I will comment in this post after a month and If I didn't just press F. | I strongly recommend you get a second opinion. Your doctor has informed you that the upcoming surgery very well could be fatal. Second opinions are the norm, and don’t worry about offending your doctor. If possible, obtain a thorough evaluation at a renowned research hospital. Your best luck would be to research online, and to look for centers where such conditions are treated. Usually, Such hospitals are in large urban areas and associated with a medical school. Of course there are exceptions. Also, your doctor may be a good resource to refer you to such centers.
Medical technology has expanded rapidly over the past years and decades. Some surgeries are performed, or assisted, by nonhuman machines, Call it a robot if you like. Also, there are incredible breakthroughs in different types of imagery. And, who knows, perhaps your condition can be treated by other means than surgery.
I wish you the best of luck.
Edit: I see you mentioned that you live in south east Asia. I would imagine you live in Thailand, Vietnam, or Cambodia. These countries have advanced advanced medical technology over the years, but for the most part they significantly lag behind the premier hospitals in other parts of the world. The best healthcare, of course, shouldn’t depend upon economics, but in this imperfect world, it unfortunately does. If there is any way for you to travel to more prosperous countries, such as Singapore, Japan, Hong Kong or Australia, and approach the problem in the different ways described by others here (finding some of the most reputable surgeons who work a good deal in the area of your tumor, in a large medical center with advanced medical technology in all areas), may make a world of difference. It may be that the prognosis you have been given so far is greatly influenced by the limitations of medical care in the area where you live.
Unfortunately, the amount of money one has sadly is the primary limiting factor. But I don’t think it would be correct to say that lack of resources will definitely prevent you from getting such care. I am not well-versed in this aspect of medical care. However, you may find it helpful to research the subject. There are charitable organizations, and sometimes large cutting edge hospitals will provide care at and affordable rate for people who live in less prosperous parts of the world. |
Thanks for the awards guys, didn’t think this would get so much attention. See I told you Americans were nice!
America has its problems but as someone who’s from the UK everyone tends to keep to themselves in public and are quite reserved. People are easily pissed off here.
When I went to Seattle with my foster parents for a month it was an amazing experience. We were staying with a family member. I remember the houses being so much bigger than the houses in he UK.
I went out one day and the neighbour who I never met before asked me where I was from and seemed genuinely interested in talking to me. They offered me to a barbecue they were having that day. I walked down to the store down the street and this girl started chatting to me. Everyone was smily and cheery. Everyone had great teeth and people in America seemed to be a lot more attractive. It made me insecure.
I went to the cinema and during the movie people would clap and cheer at certain scenes in the movie. Here in the UK your at the cinema you better shut your mouth if you don’t want to piss a lot of people off. It was adorable seeing the Americans get overexcited about things but cheering together.
Sorry for the long paragraphs but I never experienced such generosity and friendliness. I’ve been dreaming about going back to America. Your government sucks at the moment but your a nation of good people for the most part and I wish I was there right now.
But your chocolate and sweets sucked though. Just tasted like sugar. | I’m Australian and lived in America a few years ago and I agree with all of this! Americans are wayyyyyyy more friendly than Brits or Aussies. And I have a theory.
In Australia, like in the UK, there are a handful of major cities. People mostly stick to the city they were born in, or move to Sydney or Melbourne and build a life there (or move abroad). This means people are pretty settled and their friendships groups are often people they went to high school or uni with. They’re not on the look out for new friends.
But America is totally different! For a start, a lot of people go away for college, to a different city or state. And after that they may get a job in another city again. There are just so many cities, and people move a lot more. When I lived in San Francisco, I had friends from Hawaii, Wisconsin, Oregon, Nevada etc. So I think this means adult Americans have to be more open to making new friends.
When I moved to America, I was initially a bit weirded out by it. I would meet someone at a party and they would invite me camping with them next week, or to dinner at their friend’s house. But after a while, once I learned it was normal, it was great and I made so many friends! On the other hand, when I lived in London, at parties everyone just mostly wanted to get extremely fucked up on ketamine and then never see you again. Most of the friends I made in London were Americans actually. |
Update: I can't post a link but I made an update in a new post.
My wife, Em, met her best friend, Chuck, in high school. They became close friends and Chuck came out to Em as gay. Em was supportive. A year or so later Chuck came out to his parents. They disowned him and kicked him out, and Chuck ended up living with Em and her parents for the rest of high school.
Em and I started dating after college and she told me all about Chuck and how close they were and how he was like a brother. I met Chuck and we got along and became friends. Chuck is a good guy. At the time Chuck was dating a guy, they ended up moving in together about the same time that Em and I got engaged. Em and I have been married for 5 years now.
I'm a Project Manager and took on a year-long project in another city. I have to leave at 5:30AM every morning and get home around 6:30PM. Em and I had a long talk about my job before I took on this project. We knew it would be a sacrifice for me to be working so much, but I'm getting more money than I ever thought I would. After this project we can pay off our student debt and start trying to have a baby. We both agreed the money was worth it, since it's only a year. That year will be up in late November.
In March Chuck caught his boyfriend cheating. He was devastated. Em immediately told him he could move in with us. I was fine with him moving in, but not happy that Em didn't even discuss it with me first. Chuck was pretty broken up and Em was giving him lots of love and attention. I was fine with it, because I know how much she loves Chuck and he did need her. I also did my best to support him and make him feel loved.
For a while this was fine, but as time went on Em has continued to pour all of her attention into Chuck. Sometimes I get home from work and neither of them are there, and I found out they went to a movie or out to dinner together. I don't think there is anything romantic or sexual between them, but it has been annoying that I get left out of all the plans.
The past few weeks several things have happened. The 3 of us went to a party and someone joked about Chuck being our 3rd wheel and Em said "Chuck is not the 3rd wheel." I said "what?" and she said "I've known Chuck longer than I've known you!"A week or so after that Em and Chuck went out dancing one night. I had to work the next day so I stayed home. I woke up at about 3AM and Em was not in bed. I went and found her and Chuck cuddled up on the couch asleep with the TV on.Both of those things made me uncomfortable. I also realized I had been working so much I was just sort of letting Em and Chuck plan everything, and I had not planned a date night in a while. I decided I needed to be more active and so I planned a date night for last Friday. When I first told Em she was excited, as we have not been on a date just the 2 of us in a while.
Friday I got home at 6:30 and Em and Chuck were not there. I took a shower and got ready. About 7:15 I finally called Em, as we had reservations at 8. She answered and when I asked where she was she said her and Chuck had gone shopping and were getting some dinner. I was kind of stunned and asked about our date. She laughed and said "oh I forgot! oh well!" and that was that. She didn't even invite me to join them.
So, a point I should make here: my dad was very controlling of my mom and had an anger problem where he would yell and throw things. He never threw things at us, but it was still scary as a kid. I have worked very hard to not be like him.
I've tried to never be controlling of Em or tell her what to do. I also tend to shut down when I get angry. When Em forgot our date I was mad so I didn't say anything right then, but I knew I needed to address how I was feeling. So later that evening I told her we needed to talk. I had written down some things so I could stay focused. I started by saying that I loved Chuck and he was always welcome in our home, but that I felt like our marriage was suffering and we needed to work on us. Em blew up. She thought I was attacking Chuck (I guess I didn't word things well) and she started defending him and attacking me. We have never had a big fight before, we always talk and work things out. I was stunned that she was attacking me. She said some awful things.
Then she said "Chuck is my soulmate and you just have to get used to that."
I just shut down. I didn't even know how to process that. I love Em more than anything in the world, but in that moment I realized she loves Chuck more than she loves me. I thought Em and I were soulmates, but to hear her say she considers someone else her soulmate has been devastating.
I don't remember the rest of the talk. She huffed off after a while and slept on the couch. Her and Chuck left together on Saturday and were gone most of the day. When they got back she acting like nothing had happened. On Sunday she even made a small joke and batted her eyes at me, something she does when she's flirting with me. Normally I love it, but this time it just made me sick.
I told her this was a busy week at work and I was just going to stay at a hotel near the job site (something I have done a few times before) so I haven't seen her since Sunday night. I don't know what to do. Typing all of this up has made me realize I am really burned out with all of this travel. Maybe I checked out too much and haven't given her enough attention. But how do I move forward knowing she will never love me as much as I love her?
Minor update: Seeing a bunch of comments from women who say they have more than one soulmate has given me hope. To me you only have one soulmate, but that's not a word Em or I ever really use and I just really hope she means it different than how I took it. We have been texting back and forth some this week, and we spoke on the phone last night. It wasn't anything big, she just called and said she missed me and couldn't wait until I got home (I'll be home tonight.) I told her we should talk about our fight last Friday and she agreed and said she hates that we fought and we need to work it out. She said she loves me. We will be talking tonight and I guess I'll find out where I stand. | Dude, he may be gay but your wife is in love with him. |
I just wanted to share as I’m so excited!
Edit: I am absolutely overwhelmed by the love, supportive messages and awards from you all thank you so so much! I am very secretive about my journey so to receive this level of support has blown me away and means more to me than I can put into words thank you!
And to anybody who’s asked for the secret unfortunately there are tough days and days when you want to completely give up but it’s all in the mindset combined with patience (even when it feels never ending) and always remembering you know your body best and above all else believe in yourself and what you’re capable of that’s all I did and even though I still have tough days I couldn’t be happier with the results 😊 | Congratulations!! You are a true warrior and wish you many more miles to run! |
The economy collapsing and everyone basically being of the same (jobless) status has really put things into perspective. Your celebrity Instagram posts, advice, or sympathy for the public is useless and please fuck off. Celebs are likely living in complete comfort while people that have worked their tail off living paycheque to paycheque are actually facing a scary situation, and many of them are continuing to work in the face of danger.
Nurses and doctors, cashiers and people stocking the shelves of grocery stores, truckers etc. are real hero’s and that actual glue that holds society together. | Same. I hate it. I hate all of it.
They get to quarantine with no worries. Big houses. Fancy cars. Private beaches and pools in their backyards. No worries about money...
I’m on the frontline. I’m treating positive patients. I’m holding the hands of those that are dying from it. I’m hugging those that are scared of it. I’m laughing and smiling with my colleagues because we don’t want to break from it.
I’m coming home to my family and exposing them to it.
I cried today. I cried because I finally built up the courage to write my final letters to my family. I had to message my brother and tell him all my passwords and logins and all the information of my savings and pensions. I’m being prepared incase it kills me.
A part of me wishes I had what they have. To have no worries or cares in the world. Enough money to buy what I need to cheer us up and make it through our 13hr days. A big enough house I wouldn’t worry so much about infecting my family. Yet a bigger part of me wouldn’t give it up. I love what I do. I always have and I always will.
For all those that have loved ones in hospital and you can’t visit, just know I’m loving them like they were my own. I’m loving them and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but there.
Edit.
I cannot. I just can’t. I’ve been crying for an hour now. Wow. I never ever thought my small comment would bring me this much love. I have never ever felt this much love before.
I do want to add, that I believe celebs play a big role in our society. I do think they save lives in their own way. The singers who bless us with their music. The actors and actresses who give us amazing tv shoes and movies. What would society be without it all.
I’m blaming the wrong people. It’s not their fault that we are lacking in PPE. It’s not their fault I’m wearing face masks that are 7 years out of date. It’s not their fault I get paid £9.02 an hour. It’s not their fault I’ll never be able to move out on that salary and live pay check to pay check and I can’t make it at the end of the month.
But you know what? I have love and kindness. I have ears that can listen to worries. Arms that can hold you when you’re scared. A heart big enough to love all my patients and a soul deep enough to survive the pain of it all. Just seeing everyone coming together, that’s going to save us all. |
Guys kept saying to me they could feel my teeth when I’m giving head and I was always so confused because they never hit my teeth.
I went to the dentist today and it turns out that half the glue on my leave-in orthodontic wire (metal wire fixed behind my upper front teeth) has come off, leaving this metal wire exposed in my mouth without any resin overtop. So any time a dick was angled towards the roof of my mouth when entering, it would have basically scraped this wire.
So I think I’ve basically been scraping dicks like a vegetable peeler for the past year without even knowing it
I’m sorry | For research how many dicks are we talking, a peck, or maybe just a grip. No judgment but wondering what a years worth is. |
Sometimes I just pretend to be asleep in bed and she lays down next to me and softly sings. I had to tell this to someone. She gets really embarrassed and doesn't like it when people hear her sing. So I pretend to fall asleep just to hear her. | This is adorable. Please continue. |
I've always been a night owl. I'm much more focused, creative and productive in the evening and at night. After dinner, and into the wee hours of the night, is when I get the most work done. Also way less people bothering me.
Yet I get scolded by early birds feeling all righteous because they wake up at 7AM every day. I'm told I'm lazy and irresponsible just because my day starts in the afternoon and I keep going much longer. All in all, I get at least as many productive hours in as those morning people.
Besides, in our 24 hour economy, does it even matter when exactly you're awake? | My husband is an early bird and I'm a night owl. I do most my projects as he's going to bed. He finishes most his research as I'm waking up.
Means we get to spend the rest of the day together.
Edit: Whoever gave me the award, thank you. It made my day! |
I'm not objectively ugly, just charmless and average enough to go by unnoticed most of the time.
Whenever I'm on the subway and I notice some guy agressively checking out a pretty girl or staring at them creeply, I shield her with my plain figure and block their vision. I'm taller than most girls, so I usually provide enough cover for them.
Today, a guy CHANGED seats just to keep checking out a girl's ass after she moved away from him. I stood between them and saw he trying to circle around to get a better vision, but guess what? I can move too, asshole. I even got out on the same station as her to make sure the guy couldn't take a single last look at her.
Sometimes I feel good about doing it, but mostly I feel enraged that women have to put up with this crap everyday.
Edit: just to clarify, I'm a girl.
Averagedit: thank you, kind strangers, for the gold and silver! I also want to assure you all I don't find myself ugly, I'm ok with being average looking. I have attractive qualities, they are just not in plain sight haha. | A hero everyone needs |
Felt silly to share this with a friend or family member, i just wanted someone to know i guess, thanks. | That’s not silly, that’s good!
You are worth so much, no matter the number on a scale. Never forget that. |
He didn't try anything. He didn't try to touch me, he didn't pressure me to do anything, he was gentle and asked permission before trying to even hug me. I felt totally comfortable the whole time.
I've had some really toxic relationships before and I guessed they'd warped my idea of normal dating but I had no idea it was this much. Trying not to let myself fall for him too quickly but damn, the bar is so low for me. I feel respected for possibly the first time ever. I'm happy.
Edit:
I went swimming and came home to this, wow! Thank you so much for all the love on this post, I'm making my way through all the comments. Can't believe this is so common.
I've thanked him again for a lovely date and he said he really enjoyed himself too so I'm happy. You really don't understand toxicity until you're in a good situation. Wish you all the best of luck in your relationships now and in the future. Thank you so much 🥰
Edit 2:
The love I've received here has been incredible and far outside what I expected when I typed this earlier. Thank you all so much for your responses and for the awards! I've read every single comment and just wanted to say you're all amazing ❤️ going to bed with a warm feeling in my heart, thank you all so much ☺️ | Same! First guy that hasn’t brought up sex once. Walked me to my car, told me to let him know i got home safe.
It felt absolutely great to know I don’t have to sexually exploit myself to men for attention, it’s something I’m actively working on and wow! It’s honestly and eye opening experience.
Don’t know if it’ll work out or not, but regardless, having that date was a really good thing for me. |
Pretty self explanatory. I'd left for work at 9 the night before, got off early since it was my weekend, and went upstairs to find she'd hung herself from our closet door. She suffered from mental health issues most of her life and I guess I knew this might happen one day, but I didn't think it would be yesterday.
The police came and went. "We're sorry for your loss."
Some friends came and picked me up, I'll be staying in the guest room for a bit I guess. My family came to pick up my son, he'll be 3 in April. My sister in law is going to look after him so at least he'll have his cousins to play with him. I had to comfort her mother, who blames herself. I had to call my job to tell them I needed some time. I had to call estranged friends, having them disseminate to others I couldn't reach. Got drunk. Took an Ambien. Slept. Went to the carwash with a friend. Stayed there until 3am. Watched Space Jam when I got back. Talked to my dead wife in the rain.
It's been a rollercoaster of tears and laughter and silence and I have so my questions that can wait.
The weirdest thing is though, I'm feeling intensely aroused and I'm having trouble falling asleep. Normally I masturbate to help myself drift off and believe me, I want to. But I don't think I can. Looking at porn seems... disrespectful? And I can't close my eyes without seeing her so... Here I am. Wide awake. Spilling my guts into the void.
Yesterday was the worst day of my life, and I'm worried about masturbation. God help me.
Edit: Just wanted to say how grateful I am for everyone who reached out this morning. I want to say so much more, but everything I type looks wrong. My son and I will be okay. My wife is no more pain. I have the most wonderful group of people sitting in this room with me now. I'm not angry. Not with my wife anyhow. I'm angry with her disease, but I couldn't have asked the girl I married to go on hurting anymore.
If you or someone you know is suffering from mental health problems, let someone know. Let someone try. Fight like hell. Kiss your wife when you leave for work. | I’m so sorry. What a terrible thing to have happen.
The arousal stuff surprised me, too, as it relates to intense grief. I’ve been thinking about it and I suspect it’s caused by this need to release all of these various feelings that are surging through your body. Don’t feel ashamed by it. There’s no blueprint for how to feel or act when you lose someone suddenly. |
I met two young veterans with Degenerative Disc Disease. One was twenty six. TWENTY SIX YEARS OLD. The other was 28, which is still young. I have it myself as well, and I'm not even in my thirties. An older (40s or 50s) vet I know is permanently in a back brace. Then another with hip issues at 24.
And the list goes on. All of us signed up to serve our country and to get the benefits we required to succeed in life. It sucks how often I run into vets who have been chewed up and spat out by the military: in all branches, in many countries, and in many jobs.
Yet, citizens and the country's "leadership" tell people it is an amazing calling to serve one's nation.
But all of those vets and myself all had the same conversation. "I served, but I feel like I did not make any impact on the lives of the citizens in my country. I feel like nothing changed during my time."
Veterans are heroes in their own right and they deserve the respect they earned. But it always bothers me how people paint military service as if it is this glorifying thing where each and every military member will uphold "freedom" for everyone and be modern day heroes. Military members are often used to protect "assets"; whether it is equipment or land. It's really not what everyone expects it to be. During that "protection" they are put through grueling physical pain and punishment. Wearing gear almost twice their weight and living in subpar conditions.
The grim reality: it's painful, grueling, time consuming, and emotionally taxing to be a military member. Long work weeks, lost weekends/holidays, brutal working/living conditions, and terrifying situations. Some are lucky to avoid these situations, but not everyone is so lucky. The heroes are often mangled by their heroic acts or die from them. They are brave selfless acts and deserve their attention, but these types of situations are rare.
Suicide rate among veterans in America is staggering. Many are left without any support and feel the only answer is to end it all.
VA benefits can be helpful, but are hard to acquire and keep track of. Military medical often screws vets out of proper continuing healthcare once they leave the service. A doctor's notes can prevent someone who desperately needs life long healthcare from receiving it based on either bias, selfishness, ignorance, or negligence. I walked on a torn calf muscle for a year due to a lazy "doctor". I finally sought advice from a different doctor. He did the proper work to identify the issue. Thanks to his help I healed. Albeit, it took years to heal from it and I hope it does not come back to haunt me later in life. But I received 0 benefits for a doctor's negligence. A friend of mine has a hair line crack in his pelvis from his service. He has received 0 benefits for it. A retired officer I know has permanent nerve damage from an improper injection done on her arm in prep for a deployment. She does not earn 100% benefits for that damage. She only receives 50%. Yes, it is something that helps, but someone's negligence has left her with life long pain. She still has to pay out of pocket for pain management for this issue.
To those who still serve, thank you for what you do, because I know you are in pain: physically, mentally, and emotionally. If you believe what you are doing is right, then please keep that going for yourself. Get what you need out of your service and enjoy it. Seek proper healthcare and make sure your notes reflect the actual issue. Take care of your mind and body.
For those who served and are in pain, thank you for your sacrifices, but I hope you can heal mentally and physically. Find help if you need it. Reach out to your friends and family. Never be afraid to get help. Your life may depend on it.
To those who just started their military career, please take care of your body from the start. Take advantage of your health benefits. You will run into people who think you are trying to "scam" the system or are weak. Forget about them. You only get one body and one mind. Take care of both of them equally. Make sure you are provided the ppe you need and require.
If you are on your way out, be prepared to figure out a lot of things on your own. Yes, there are VA benefits, but often times you will have to fight for those benefits or have to know more than the VA reps. Know your rights and take care of them.
To the people who say they support veterans, then actually support them when they need it. Notice when they lose their benefits and listen to them when they need help. Many vets need continuing medical care after service. And most of all, stop glorifying military service to the younger generations as if they will become heroes and earn medals like the old war stories. Those stories are rare and leave out the scars left behind. Educate the younger generation and let them know the truth of what they will get into. It is their right to serve and their right to do something they believe is right, but make sure they understand the reality of it. Not everyone that joins becomes a hero and not every hero survives their wounds.
Jobs that actually serve the country, community, and citizens: firefighters, medical workers, city workers, community service jobs, T E A C H E R S, counselors, therapists, food workers, retail workers, construction workers, social workers, local govt (depending), plumbing, electricians, national guard (depending) and many more jobs that involve community work.
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Edit: Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement, support, and understanding. I value all of the things that were said on this post. To all those that served, thank you for what you did. I hope the best for all of you still in pain. For those who have experienced loss, I am so deeply sorry. I hope you find peace as well. You deserve happiness as well.
For those who might think I do not like veterans or that I do not think service is worthy of praise, that is far from the truth. I just wish people would not glorify service as the end all be all for service to one's country and community. If it is one's calling then that is fine and I do not dislike them for their choices. There are other routes in America that people can serve and change the country for the better. | As a vet, I agree. If you're just starting your career, **document, document, and document more.** You will get tons of shit for being a sick call ranger, but if something is legitimately wrong, fuck that backwards way of thinking. If I would've gone in when my shoulder started hurting, I probably wouldn't have needed surgery. Once I realized the situation, I kept every document my doctors gave me and made sure to follow the recovery process to a T.
I think that's the biggest reason I actually ended up with a VA rating. I have a few buddies that have hurt themselves, but didn't seek any treatment. Now they're out of the military with the joints of a middle aged man with nothing to show for it.
Do some reading, and ask questions. The absolute biggest thing is to advocate for yourself, because at the end of the day, nobody is going to advocate for you. |
We were searching him all morning when I suddenly heard my mother scream in panic. My little sister came running towards me, repeating my brothers name along with something I couldn’t make out. I feared that he had fallen badly, perhaps. So I ran to where I thought my mom‘s scream came from. She was standing in front of the garage, crying. My dad was inside, shaking what looked like my brother’s body. He kept shouting his name, trying to slap him awake, but my brother seemed unresponsive. I knelt down beside them. My brother’s lips were black and he had dark spots all over his face. I grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him a couple times. No response. In the back of my mind I knew that he wouldn’t wake up from this, but it just didn’t feel real.
We are still not entirely sure what happened, the police is still investigating. It seems like his room was so heated up last night that he decided to sleep in the garage. He burned some charcoal to make it more cozy. He locked himself in, however, as our garage can only be opened from the outside with a pin code. As the fire burned down he ran out of oxygen.
Despite our entire family and friends having been here by now, both of my parents have not eaten all day and seem utterly disillusioned. My dad barely talks.
Felix was 2 years younger than me, he turned 16 this January.
Only a few hours before he died he told me that he was going to have a date on Saturday which he was looking forward to and asked me what he should do with her then, as it was his first one. He seemed so incredibly happy.
I know that life must go on, but it’s just... never gonna be the way it was. He was so amazing. I never showed him how deeply I admired him.
There is nothing but a second between life and death. And it’s irreversible. I never thought that something like this could happen in my life... and yet here I am. I can’t comprehend any of it.
While you can, make sure to always show everyone in your life how much you love them.
Edit: I want to thank you all for the incredible amount of support. I’ve been reading all of the comments and messages. My father has as well. I am and will be returning to this post all of the time. I was unsure whether it was the right decision to write about this at first, but I am very glad I did. It’s good to know that the world cares. Thank You. | So very sorry for your loss. My heart hurts for your family. |
My (30F) brother (26M) was discharged from the Navy last month and my family threw a party to welcome him home. He is an extremely outgoing person and can make anyone smile and laugh. Because he was stationed on two aircraft carriers for basically 8 years he has only met my daughter a handful of times. My daughter (12F) is the quietest and shyest person you will ever met. Her father severely abused her as a child and she has extreme trust issues as a result. She only talks to me, her aunt, grandparents, and her best friend. I put her in therapy and she has been making progress but if you touch her in any way she might have a panic attack. Her social skills are fine but you need get her to trust you before she feels comfortable around you.
I got her a Nintendo Switch for Christmas and she loves it. She is on it 24/7 and she considers it a safe space for her. She does her homework early so she has time to play it and takes it everywhere. She became a little too addicted to the Switch and I had to set some ground rules but she abides by them and we managed to figure out a healthy amount of time for her to play her games. She recently got into Mario Kart and is currently finding out about all the games in the franchise. My brother has a Wii and gave it to her and she reset the Mario Kart Wii game so she could unlock all the tracks and characters.
My brother was a HUGE Mario Kart fan as a kid. He had every game of the franchise and competed in online tournaments before he went into the Navy. I don’t know too much about the game but I remember him maxing out his account at 9999vr which I think is the highest level you can go.
During the party my daughter was sitting next to my sister like usual when she told him her uncle is really into Mario Kart. I walked over and said she should ask him to play after the party but she shook her head. I pulled her aside and said my brother would not hurt a fly and he is one of the nicest people in the world. She agreed after I said I would be in the same room with them and after the party ended I asked my brother to play with my daughter and he said yes. She got her Switch and we sat at the table and 20 minutes later she was laughing and talking like I never saw her before. My brother was trash talking her and she was giving it back to him. They played for an hour before we left and my daughter was sad to see him leave. She told me he’s a lot of fun and wants to get to know him more.
Since that day my daughter and brother have been spending a lot of time together and her personality has started to develop. She is talking more and is interacting with her classmates. Her English teacher emailed me to say my daughter volunteered to read a paragraph of the book they are reading and she barely stuttered while reading. She wants to try volleyball again in the fall and asked me to sign her up for tryouts. Yesterday she came home and said she played Mario Kart with a couple of her friends during recess and she asked them herself. She never reaches out to people so I was surprised. My brother has picked her up from school while I was at work a couple times and she finished her homework by the time I picked her up. I used to beg her to do her homework and now she willingly does it. She is breaking out of her shell and it makes me so happy to see. My brother has been a big part of it. He makes her do her homework then checks it and sees if it’s correct then they play Mario Kart or they play cards or he teaches her how to throw a ball. I am a little ashamed to say this but I kind of hope my brother builds a connection with her and she sees him as a positive male role model in her life. She certainly is not going to receive that from her father. Having my brother back home is awesome but seeing my daughter and her uncle connect warms my heart. | What a wonderful man your brother is. He is indeed a positive male role model and is what your daughter needs in her life to show her that there are good men out there, and not all men are abusers. Also, well done to you for encouraging your daughter to sit with her uncle in the first place, as you clearly saw he would make a difference. |
Edit: Thank you for all the love and support. I can't reply to everyone because I'll just start tearing up again and I can't have the floodgates open when I'm working. But know it's very much appreciated and I'm so happy to hear many of you have friends like this in your lives <3
She was born in 1916 and I was born in 1992. I was 6 when I first met her in my neighborhood and loved to come over. Her husband died the year before I met her and she told me so many stories that I felt like I knew him. Her life was just as interesting and I adored hearing the things she did during her best years.
We'd play cards, listen to the radio, tell jokes, bake (and eat plenty of cookie dough). She wasn't like a grandmother to me, she was just a really good friend. I don't believe there are any pictures of us, but if there were then they have been lost in time.
I moved houses, but stayed in the same town and could visit her at least once per week by riding my bike over. We moved a little further a few years later and the visits were a couple times per month with a few calls in between.
I was 14 when a stranger called my house and asked for me. I never talked on the phone, so my mother was suspicious who it was. Once she asked, the woman on the phone introduced herself as the woman's grand-daughter. She was calling because her grandmother had passed and she wanted to let me know.
I got a hug and then the subject never came up again. I missed my friend and people around me didn't think it mattered. I never knew why. Her family didn't even contact me for the service or anything. It hurt.
I think about her every few months and everything comes flooding back. She gave me high expectations for a friend and I admit I've compared possible friends against her several times. I'm hoping that when travel restrictions are lifted, I can go to her grave. She buried next to her husband and love of her life. I can't wait to meet him.
I guess I just miss my friend. | Made me tear up. Older friends can be the absolute best, i had one too. Just know that your company was irreplaceable for her and probably meant a great deal.
I think visiting her grave will do you a lot of good. It will be nice to be close to her and meet her husband. |
Just as the title says, cervixes are not a source of pleasure (for most). If you touch it, especially if you slam into it, it really fucking hurts. I've nearly puked from it. I don't know where this idea comes from or how many people hold it, but I would like to make that number as small as possible since I've heard some guys genuinely say that they try to fuck the cervix or whatever because it feels better for her. I appreciate the enthusiasm and the effort, I really do, but it hurts man.
Edit: yes, some women like it. Just ask before ya do it please. That applies to pretty much everything new that you're doing, though. | Sweet Jesus thank you! A for effort but calm down there, jackhammer. |
My boyfriend was at the gym with his brothers when he first called me to invite me to his house. Me, my boyfriend and his brothers have game night sometimes where we just play Mario kart and drink and i always look forward to it. Since he was still at the gym i told him to call me when they get home and i will head over. About 20 minutes later i get a call from him. Assuming he was calling to tell me he was on his way home i answered. I said hello like 5 times before i realized he couldn’t hear me. I think he might have accidentally dialed me from his call log. He was talking to his brothers about me though. He was telling them how a couple girls were hitting on him at the gym. The conversation goes like this, He said “i don’t have time for any gym hoes especially since i get to see my baby tonight.” He continues to say, “you don’t understand how crazy i am about her. She’s sweet, sexy, and i overall just cannot wait to see her.” He just goes on and on singing my praises. But the real reason i am making this post is because i heard something i wasn’t supposed to hear. My birthday is coming up and he’s been keeping my present a secret. A little bit about me, i am a photographer and while i work for a company right now i hope to one day start my own. He says “the camera she has now is a piece of shit (he’s not wrong) so I’m planning on getting her a canon with different lenses”(he didn’t specify the model) “I believe in her so much and i just want to see her succeed.” My boyfriend has no idea i heard this and I’ve been keeping it my little secret but i have been thinking about it since it happened. Im so giddy, i have never had someone feel this way about me and i just wanted to tell someone.
Edit: first off thank you for all the upvotes and kind comments about my boyfriend. He really is a kind loving person and i love him so much. But secondly im noticing a lot of people saying “guys dont talk like that” and that the story is fake. and i lowkey thought yall would realize that i was paraphrasing a lot of what i heard. It was an Experience i had that i thought was worth sharing because I genuinely never had anyone think of me like that. Either way thank yall so much for the kind words. I might show him this post in the future just to show what was said.😊 | My boyfriend butt dialed me the other day and I heard him say something along the lines of this: (in a somewhat kool-aid man tone) "oh yeahhh, I'm gonna *eat*"
I love that man |
My parents are dead. My one brother is dead. Both of my parents were only children. I have no traceable extended family. I don’t have a partner or children. I don’t have friends.
This is the first Christmas that I’m not able to celebrate, since my brother died in February.
I’m so alone.
Edit: thank you all for your support. It means a great deal to me
Edit 2: the number of comments overnight has been overwhelming. I am deeply appreciative of all of your words. I’ve begun the adoption hunt for a dog, as suggested by u/fuggedaboudid. I’ll be deleting Reddit and I’ll update everyone in about 1 month!
Happy holidays | It’s hard to find other people like this. Know you’re not alone. All my grandparents are dead, no siblings, parents had no siblings. My mom is in a nursing home and doesn’t communicate. I have no one. I can’t find anyone else who can grasp what I mean when I say I have no one.
*edit* my first award! Thank you strangers. This thread is literally the first time I felt I wasn’t the only one in the world without family |
I couldn’t believe it when I checked the nylotto website this morning and it said there was a million dollar winner in my area I thought to myself there’s no way that’s me as I scrambled to find my bag that had the tickets I bought. I bought 3 tickets for 30$ from the smoke shop by me yesterday btw so I was checking them and the first one no winner second one only had 2 4$ winners so I was losing hope that I did actually win until I got to the third ticket, I saw the first set of numbers and my heart dropped the numbers matched up to the ones on the website. I honestly couldn’t believe it like I had a brief dissociation episode and I just cried for a good 30 minutes lol but happy tears. I haven’t told anyone and I haven’t claimed the money yet because I want to make sure I’m ready when I do. I say it’s changed everything because I live in a bad situation with my narcissistic parents and for the longest time I’ve been feeling hopeless and stuck because I haven’t been able to move out. I have no car because mine got totaled after stupidly letting a friend borrow it, been unemployed since the pandemic and I’ve ran through all my savings to put myself through school. For the first time in a long time I feel like things are going to be okay | DO NOT TELL ANYONE. AFTER TAXES IT IS NOT CHANGING EVERYONES LIFE MONEY.
sounds like the right person won. enjoy it and enjoy your new freedom! |
Nearly a decade ago I was going through a really rough patch and I took a drive out to a bridge. Looking back I don't think I actually had intent on following through with it, but I drove up to it and parked my car. I never got out of my car. I just sat there. Engine off. Lights off. I just stared straight ahead for 30 minutes thinking some very very dark thoughts. My phone chimed. It was my then-girlfriend asking if I was working overtime and if so when was I planning on being home so she could have supper ready for me. I snapped. I turned into a sobbing, heaving mess sitting in my car. How could I have been so selfish?
I stayed there for another 30 minutes just trying compose myself. When I got home I just gave her a big bear hug and went to enjoy the hot meal sitting on the table waiting for me. I've never had a better tasting meal then that plate of pork chops, veggies and rice.
I ended up proposing to her a few years later and every day I wake up next to her I feel like I've won a lottery. She has no idea what she did that night. She knew I was going through a rough spot, but I don't think she knows how deep I actually was. The only reason I haven't told her is because she's diagnosed bipolar and has enough on her plate as-is. I accompany her to therapy and wait in the waiting room for her and I've read extensively about her condition and how best to support somebody in her position. I figure it's the absolute minimum I can do to even begin pay back the wonderful gift she gives me every single day I wake up. | This is beautiful. You are so lucky to have an amazing woman like her in your life, and she is incredibly lucky to have someone like you in hers |
just a little bit of background — i have synesthesia. i perceive people and certain words as different tastes. i often don’t talk about it, but it came up in conversation with my boyfriend.
we’ve been dating for about five months now, and he’s absolutely shocked about my synesthesia. he’s a bit of a nerd, so he’s still fascinated by it. when he asked if he had a taste, i told him he was citrus, and he’s been elated about it ever since.
he knows my favorite everything is citrus. i love orange popsicles and orange mints and orange starbursts and orange skittles. when i buy cleaning products, i immediately look for for the citrus scent. when i need a car freshener, i buy the orange tree. if i need a snack, i gravitate to clementines. so when i told him that he’s citrus to me, he was just so happy about it.
he cannot stop bringing it up and mentioning it. he’s so proud of himself for tasting like citrus. he even buys me oranges to eat during lunch because he wants me to have two of my favorite flavor.
it reminded me that somehow, i found my favorite person and my favorite taste, all in one.
how amazing is that?! | Heart warming. This leaves me with a good taste in my mouth. |
"Baby fat tigers"
My heart
That is all. | Thought this would be bad. Turned out good. Thank. |
I’m 29m. Around 2 years ago I was getting raped by by gf. I was choked, beaten, and was kicked - punched in the balls. It was horrible and lasted 1 and a half years. I talked to tons of people. Noons believed me. I was told don’t go to cops because they won’t care. I finally went to some professional and told them about my story. I went to 3 . Only 1 listened. It was the worst experience of my life. Now, in a few months I’m going to court to put her behind bars. Wish me luck. | i’m rooting for you |
My name is Valkyrie Weather, born Kyle Cohen, the oldest child and trans daughter of film producer/director Rob Cohen (The fast and the Furious, xXx, and The Hurricane Heist among many others). When I was very young, Rob used my body for his own sexual gratification. My mother witnessed one of the assaults when I was between two and two and a half years old, and has since confirmed what she saw. This fact has cost me more than I could ever convey here. Rob has also raped at least one other woman, in her sleep. I know this because he would occasionally tell the story as an anecdote. Presumably in an effort to turn me into the straight son that he wanted me to be, Rob took me to see sex workers and establishments in Thailand and The Czech Republic starting when I was as young as 13/14 years old. Through therapy and support from loved ones, I no longer feel that I owe this man any loyalty. And thanks to the #metoo movement, I have found the will to speak out. While Rob will in all likelihood escape criminal justice, I demand that my story be heard. I am not seeking financial restitution, nor do I have a career to promote. My greatest hope is that others who have been hurt by Rob Cohen feel that they are able to come forward as well.
EDIT: Thank you for the silver and gold, it's truly humbling. However, instead of giving me more please send a donation to Trans Lifeline or the Joyful Heart Foundation. Thank you again. | I’m going to warn you now, many may not believe you as there’s little you can do to prove your identity and that these events occurred through a reddit post.
However, I believe you.
Please seek retribution. Take this story to more trusted and reliable news sources. Tell the police. Tell the world. You are being incredibly brave to speak up, and you have a better world to back you up today.
You can do this. Just please be careful— keep your safety as first priority. Good luck, sending love to you. |
I (20f) have been married to my husband (21m) for 2 years and a half we got an arranged marriage which is totally normal our family includes us.we stated talking for 2 months to get to known each other and I really found him an amazing guy love his sisters and brothers and respect his parents and is good to his religion he is everything I can ask for we got married after 3 months of knowing each other.
I actually got pregnant right away it was not planned but we both were happy I got to know him more and I really love him he is so caring.
When he found out I was pregnant took a leave from his job for 3 years since it’s the company that his dad owns he would always make me a bath cook clean and always sit me down just to talk about how I feel and what I want or need.
I have also decided to take a break from work since I got pregnant.
And know my baby girl is 7 months and is the most beautiful thing ever we both adore her will everyone in our family does our parents and siblings she has 2 aunts and 3 uncles from my side and has 5 aunts and 2 uncles from her dad that are crazy for her.
Today we were invited to my in laws and we were out at the yard while parents were inside. My husband went to get some food and drinks.while my baby was playing with her uncles and aunts it beautiful to see them with her. I noticed my husband hasn’t returned so I went to check on him.
I went and I heard him talking with our parents they asked how our relationship is my husband broke down crying and told them that he can’t describe how happy he is. He went on talking about how every morning he wakes up and sees me and our baby he can’t help but cry he said he can’t imagine and life without us. And started thanking them for bringing us together.
I couldn’t help but cry he’s an amazing guy. Even motherhood has been easy for me, since he always helps me with the baby at night.
I really love him and I didn’t want him to know that I heard him talking to our parents but I really wanted to share how happy I am with my life with someone.
Sorry if this was long thanks for reading
Edit: hi just wanted to say thanks for all the love and support and thanks for that advice I will be planning a surprise date night for us tomorrow and will be telling him how much he means to me and tell him I love him since I have really not told him yet thank you everyone and wanted to apologise for scaring You guys now that Im reading the post. The title really is not matching 😂.
Edit 2: Hi everyone again thanks for the love and kindness will I had to came and tell you guy that I told him I loved him I got his sisters to help me keep him out the house with my baby and decorated that house all that made his favourite foods and had to make him brownie and cookies his favorite.
I than wrote what I love about him on balloons and actually said that I loved him I know it might be weird that I just said now but I was always a shy person we had a great time and I really think I just fell for him all over because he actually came home with flowers and I just now realized I really need to step out and show him how much he means to me I will star to show how much I love him anyway thank you guys this will be my last update.🤍🤍🤍 | Well, this didn't go the way I thought it was going to. But it was really nice to read such a sweet story on reddit. |
You read the title right, and no he had no malicious intent. He came back to thank me and to bring a few things.
Turns out my girlfriend has been giving him “presents”, he brought them to me to ask if any had belonged to me since she had been a liar and a cheat to both of us, and it turns out some did. From (despite cheap) rings to necklaces I had “lost”, he had them. She had been giving stuff of mine to him as “presents” and pretending she had bought them for him. He offered them back to me and asked if I wanted to get to know eachother better, I agreed and now I’ve got his contact. I’m planning to meet up and get to know him better soon.
These were his words: “The last few days I haven’t been right with myself, you showed me mercy and kindness and I gave nothing in return, any other guy would have me in hospital or worse”. | This story will make everyone tear up on your wedding 💙
Make sure to invite the ex GF |
So, yesterday my son turned 10. Awesome, he loves avengers so his dad & I decide to throw him a party at the house. We invited family and friends who most of them RSVP'd. Great, we make enough food to feed 40+ people. The place looks awesome, avengers decorations everywhere, ballons, cupcakes, the whole nine yards. Only to have me & my husband's immediate family be the only ones present. I'm talking 6 people max. Not another single kid at the birthday party. It broke my heart. My son kept looking out the window & door for guests, asking when his friends will get here, but nobody ever came. I have a bag full of goodybags, a piñata still in tact, & unopened games. People suck! Sucks we have a small family & made my son feel like a loner on his freaking birthday!! He's a great kid & has been looking forward to his birthday all year. But come on, how are you going to RSVP & not come to a freaking kid's birthday party.
UPDATE: Just wanted to give everyone a mini update. Omg I am overwhelmed by the Love & wishes from the Reddit community, You guys are awesome!! I apologize if I wasn't able to respond to you individually but wow I came to this subreddit to vent & all I got was a vast amount of support! You guys managed to make me cry again, hearing my son is not the only one & there are many others who had similar experiences. I know it's just a birthday party but I try to do everything to see my son happy so when something like this happens I do feel helpless, it truly broke my heart. But you guys are willing to go above & beyond & make my little man's day special THANK YOU SO MUCH! You don't understand how much you are going to make some little kid's birthday the most memorable one by receiving cards from all around the world!! I know there are a lot of people who have asked, we are in Boston, MASS & Monday morning I will go first thing to get a PO Box as I do not have one. His favorite characters are Iron Man & Captain America. Thank you everybody. Will keep you updated.
UPDATE: I promise I haven't been ignoring you guys. My husband & I spent the whole day yesterday with my son to lift his spirits, so I haven't had a chance to reply to most of you but will try to today. So I finally got a PO Box, thank you to all those who have made cards for my son. The amount of support is just unreal, me & my husband can't thank you enough.
God bless you guys, honestly I can't thank you enough. I'm way too excited for him. We will explain to my son what is Reddit today when he gets home from school & scroll through some comments. But we will leave the cards as a surprise.
FINAL UPDATE:
Hi all! So I did try posting an update, & it got deleted. So I'm posting it here. So to update you all on whats going on. We were finally able to go the post office, and I was in tears! You guys really outdid yourselves. Abe got so many cards & packages. It was unreal. We are deeply moved by the love & support you all have for a random little boy. That in itself speaks volumes. We sat down yesterday with Abe & read
every single card. My son loved everythingg! He is so excited to have cards from all over the world, awesome comic books, & toys. His mood has definitely changed, he's so much happier. & This will definitely rewrite the bad birthday party he had. And we simply cannot thank you all enough for what you have done for me & my family. This has turned out to be one of his best birthdays ever. & it's all thanks to you Reddit! <3
| Go get a po box and update us with it.
I'll send a card.
I bet lots of others here will, too. |
We got married 19 September 2019.
We have been together for 3 years and are madly in love. She is the best thing that happend in my life.
We had a wonderfull day and we were happy and in love. Almost everything went as planned.
Then came the honeymoon.
We went to the carribean and did a cruise and stayed on Curaçao for a week. We visited so many places and did amazing things, but during the honeymoon, my wife kept getting bruises, that could not be explained. Also a lot of headaches. We thought it was strange but nothing to worry about.
Then in the last days of the honeymoon, my wife had a blood spot in her eye and got a nosebleed that went on too long.
A doctor came and examined my wife. He could not find anything strange and told us to visit the doctor we we got back.
So 2 days later, we are back and visited the doctor. High blood pressure and he ordered blood tests.
We went in the morning to get the blood tests done and got a call from the hospital in the afternoon.
We had to go to the hospital with haste.
After 2 hours of more tests we got the worst news.
My wife has acute leukemia.
To be precise acute promyelocytic leukemia.
A form of leukemia that causes bleeding and clots at the same time.
It turns this kind of leukemia is more deadly at the start and we were very lucky.
There is a silver lining. APL is treatable and has a high survival rate. My wife will be treated with vitamin A and Arsenicum. No chemo is needed ... yeahh.
But despite the high survival rate and no chemo. There are still risks. So we have to discuss many things newly weds should not have to discuss. | I’m so sorry that you both have to go through this at the time you should be the happiest you’ve ever been. But the good news is that she has you to help her get through this, the love of her life and her best friend. I have no doubt that you’ll be her rock and her comfort. At the end of the day, you love each other and that’s what matters the most. |
The ‘challenges’ I’ve seen in last week:
• Accidentally on purpose hit your boyfriend over the head with your purse.
• Say “you could have been nicer to me today” and see what they say.
• Call your girlfriend the wrong name and see what happens
• Record your boyfriend whilst you answer a fake FaceTime from another guy
These are potentially damaging things to do to a relationship. If you‘re willing to hurt or potentially hurt your significant other in order to get imaginary likes from strangers, then that’s a huge red flag and you arguably shouldn’t be in a relationship.
Stop doing these bullshit challenges. Your relationships will last longer. | It can cause your S/O to overthink and be anxious, did they really do it for tiktok? do they hate me? Why would they say that? Why would they do that? Do they still love me? Am I good enough? Are they going to leave me? It's such a horrible thing to do to someone |
Throwaway here.
My dad has had an opioid addiction for the past 5-6 years that has gotten worse and worse. He used to be a successful real estate broker and now is homeless and begging for money on the streets. He's very paranoid and believes that his family is out to get him. I stopped talking to him over a year ago when he asked me to buy him a gun so that he could kill his mom who was "hacking into all of his phones and using mind control technology on him."
He begs for money at the burger place across the street from my new apartment. The first time I saw him there I couldn't believe it was him. I know I can't stop and talk to him again, or let him see me, because I don't want to get sucked into his problems again, and I can't do anything to help him.
I wish I could tell him that I'm happy. I wish I could tell him that I graduated school in May and found a job, even during the pandemic. I wish I could tell him that I got married and I wish he could meet my wife. I wish I could go see him and tell him to come stay at my place, in the warm bed in our 2nd bedroom, instead of letting him freeze in the cold. I wish I could have a relationship with my dad again, listen to the music we used to like, hear him play guitar again, but I can't. He's not in there anymore. And I feel so guilty every time I drive past him and think about how my life is going so good and his is so bad.
I miss you dad. | I am so sorry to hear this. Is there any way you could have your dad treated on an involuntary basis at a mental health hospital? Symptoms of paranoia are treatable with antipsychotic medication. Your dad might have an underlying disorder as well as addiction. Where are you located and what services are available? |
I'm not being stupid - I'm vaxxed and boostered, I wear my mask in shops, I use hand sanitizers, I don't join crowds, etc. I just no longer give a single shit about it. I'm done. It's not going away. People aren't getting any smarter about it. I'm emotionally fried when it comes to this stupid pandemic and I just. Don't. Care. | Me too. My mom keeps telling me about covid numbers in the city and I just… don’t care anymore. I’m burnt out on stressing about COVID and worrying and being scared. I’ll follow all the steps to keep myself and those around me safe, but I just need a break from the whole COVID mentality. |
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