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managing values-based activities when things feel that they have no meaning.

I think so, I am just finding it hard to connect.

So what would an ideal day look like? If you didn’t have to worry about work, or pain, or anything else?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:managing values-based activities when things feel that they have no meaning.###Input:I think so, I am just finding it hard to connect.###Response:So what would an ideal day look like? If you didn’t have to worry about work, or pain, or anything else?

managing values-based activities when things feel that they have no meaning.

I would start with a slow morning – the kids like to take their time in the morning, but I am always rushing them out the door. And then, there is this place that they love to go. Harry always wants to have waffles, regardless of the time of day. So, he could have the waffles, and then we might go to the beach, just to splash around and catch some waves and bodysurf them into the shore. And then, maybe some fish and chips for dinner near the beach.

That sounds like a lovely day. It also sounds like something that you could do now.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:managing values-based activities when things feel that they have no meaning.###Input:I would start with a slow morning – the kids like to take their time in the morning, but I am always rushing them out the door. And then, there is this place that they love to go. Harry always wants to have waffles, regardless of the time of day. So, he could have the waffles, and then we might go to the beach, just to splash around and catch some waves and bodysurf them into the shore. And then, maybe some fish and chips for dinner near the beach.###Response:That sounds like a lovely day. It also sounds like something that you could do now.

managing values-based activities when things feel that they have no meaning.

Yeah, I could. It would be easy enough. It just seems so simple, when I am thinking about dying. Is it enough for the kids?

What do you think the kids would say about that?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:managing values-based activities when things feel that they have no meaning.###Input:Yeah, I could. It would be easy enough. It just seems so simple, when I am thinking about dying. Is it enough for the kids?###Response:What do you think the kids would say about that?

managing values-based activities when things feel that they have no meaning.

I think that they would like it.

And if you asked them what they would want time with you to look like?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:managing values-based activities when things feel that they have no meaning.###Input:I think that they would like it.###Response:And if you asked them what they would want time with you to look like?

managing values-based activities when things feel that they have no meaning.

They would just want me to be with them. They are always getting frustrated when I am working, or on my phone sorting our work stuff.

And it sounds like that day would give them everything that they might want from you. Time, attention, you being present to them, time in the sunshine, and waffles. (Both laugh) You know, I think sometimes this stuff feels like it should be really big, but most of my patients say the opposite. They tell me that they get much more out of the little incidental things that fill the day, rather than the big giant things.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:managing values-based activities when things feel that they have no meaning.###Input:They would just want me to be with them. They are always getting frustrated when I am working, or on my phone sorting our work stuff.###Response:And it sounds like that day would give them everything that they might want from you. Time, attention, you being present to them, time in the sunshine, and waffles. (Both laugh) You know, I think sometimes this stuff feels like it should be really big, but most of my patients say the opposite. They tell me that they get much more out of the little incidental things that fill the day, rather than the big giant things.

managing values-based activities when things feel that they have no meaning.

That’s true of lots of life.

It is, isn’t it? What would be the other things? The simple stuff that feels like what you would want to focus on at the moment?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:managing values-based activities when things feel that they have no meaning.###Input:That’s true of lots of life.###Response:It is, isn’t it? What would be the other things? The simple stuff that feels like what you would want to focus on at the moment?

managing values-based activities when things feel that they have no meaning.

I don’t know really. I think I am enjoying things that feel connected. Either to people or to times and places. Like I went for a walk on the beach the other day, and it was so lovely just being out of the house and having the wind blowing past my face. A bit the same as when I went to see a movie with a friend a couple of weeks ago. It was so nice.

So maybe there is something to be prioritised in doing those things that feel good in the moment, but I am guessing also left you feeling quite relaxed and content for sometime afterwards?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:managing values-based activities when things feel that they have no meaning.###Input:"I don’t know really. I think I am enjoying things that feel connected. Either to people or to times and places. Like I went for a walk on the beach the other day, and it was so lovely just being out of the house and having the wind blowing past my face. A bit the same as when I went to see a movie with a friend a couple of weeks ago. It was so nice."###Response:So maybe there is something to be prioritised in doing those things that feel good in the moment, but I am guessing also left you feeling quite relaxed and content for sometime afterwards?

managing values-based activities when things feel that they have no meaning.

Yup. That’s true. And I am thinking that I could do the same with my family and friends. Perhaps I could try and do more where we are connecting over something or just able to be in the moment together.

That sounds like a lovely way of spending time.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:managing values-based activities when things feel that they have no meaning.###Input:Yup. That’s true. And I am thinking that I could do the same with my family and friends. Perhaps I could try and do more where we are connecting over something or just able to be in the moment together.###Response:That sounds like a lovely way of spending time.

“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.

I'm stuck, life has no meaning anymore

So what I am hearing is that you are getting stuck here. You don’t know what to do, and not much is feeling meaningful, and so, you are getting stuck doing nothing.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.###Input:I'm stuck, life has no meaning anymore###Response:"So what I am hearing is that you are getting stuck here. You don’t know what to do, and not much is feeling meaningful, and so, you are getting stuck doing nothing.

“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.

Yup. That’s right.

So, if this wasn’t the case, and things were feeling better, what would you want to be doing?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.###Input:Yup. That’s right.###Response:So, if this wasn’t the case, and things were feeling better, what would you want to be doing?

“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.

I don’t know. I would want to do normal things, like going and playing sport, or going to the pub with my mates.

And what is getting in the way of those things now?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.###Input:I don’t know. I would want to do normal things, like going and playing sport, or going to the pub with my mates.###Response:And what is getting in the way of those things now?

“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.

I feel like shit. And, even if I didn’t, after the surgery my body doesn’t work properly. What if I go out, and I vomit, or worse. I don’t want that.

Is it okay for me to ask you a difficult question?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.###Input:I feel like shit. And, even if I didn’t, after the surgery my body doesn’t work properly. What if I go out, and I vomit, or worse. I don’t want that.###Response:Is it okay for me to ask you a difficult question?

“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.

Okay

We have talked lots about you knowing that you have limited time. What would it look like if the rest of the time you have looks like this?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.###Input:Okay###Response:"We have talked lots about you knowing that you have limited time. What would it look like if the rest of the time you have looks like this?"

“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.

It would be horrible. What’s the point?

I am not asking the hard question to make you feel bad – what I am trying to understand is, how will it be the right time to do the things that matter? You have talked with me lots about going out with your mates at the pub. But, it seems that the physical stuff is getting in the way.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.###Input:It would be horrible. What’s the point?###Response:I am not asking the hard question to make you feel bad – what I am trying to understand is, how will it be the right time to do the things that matter? You have talked with me lots about going out with your mates at the pub. But, it seems that the physical stuff is getting in the way.

“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.

Yeah, it does.

So, and this is another hard question. What if this is as good as it gets? We don’t know what is going to happen in the time that you have left, but it sounds like the physical stuff has gotten worse over time. What would it look like if you are waiting for a time for it to get better, but maybe that time doesn’t come?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.###Input:Yeah, it does.###Response:"So, and this is another hard question. What if this is as good as it gets? We don’t know what is going to happen in the time that you have left, but it sounds like the physical stuff has gotten worse over time. What would it look like if you are waiting for a time for it to get better, but maybe that time doesn’t come?"

“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.

You mean as things get worse? Then I wouldn’t do any of it. And I would spend the rest of my life in my room.

It doesn’t sound like that’s what you want?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.###Input:You mean as things get worse? Then I wouldn’t do any of it. And I would spend the rest of my life in my room.###Response:It doesn’t sound like that’s what you want?

“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.

Of course not. I want to be normal.

And what if this is the normal – right here where you are?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.###Input:Of course not. I want to be normal.###Response:And what if this is the normal – right here where you are?

“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.

It’s a pretty f&^ked normal.

Well sure. But normal is wherever we are. And, I think what is happening is that in waiting for things to be better, you are missing out on the now. And I don’t want to imagine us having a conversation in a couple of months’ time where you say to me ‘I can’t believe I didn’t do those things when I felt well enough to’.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.###Input:It’s a pretty f&^ked normal.###Response:Well sure. But normal is wherever we are. And, I think what is happening is that in waiting for things to be better, you are missing out on the now. And I don’t want to imagine us having a conversation in a couple of months’ time where you say to me ‘I can’t believe I didn’t do those things when I felt well enough to’.

“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.

But I don’t feel well now.

Of course. But, perhaps, even if it isn’t perfect, you might feel better for being able to go out into the world, and to do the things that feel important. I wonder if we might be able to spend some time thinking about the ways that you could start doing some small things to move towards that stuff. I am thinking little pieces – like going to the pub with one mate for a half hour – my guess is that even if you feel unwell, you could manage that.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.###Input:But I don’t feel well now.###Response:Of course. But, perhaps, even if it isn’t perfect, you might feel better for being able to go out into the world, and to do the things that feel important. I wonder if we might be able to spend some time thinking about the ways that you could start doing some small things to move towards that stuff. I am thinking little pieces – like going to the pub with one mate for a half hour – my guess is that even if you feel unwell, you could manage that.

“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.

Maybe.

What would get in the way?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.###Input:Maybe.###Response:What would get in the way?

“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.

Um. Pain, nausea, not having the energy.

Okay. Anything else?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.###Input:Um. Pain, nausea, not having the energy.###Response:Okay. Anything else?

“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.

Sometimes the anxiety.

How would the anxiety turn up?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.###Input:Sometimes the anxiety.###Response:How would the anxiety turn up?

“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.

About people looking at me, staring at the scars on my neck, seeing how I limp in.

Okay. They are big things to be worried about. What would happen if people did look?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.###Input:About people looking at me, staring at the scars on my neck, seeing how I limp in.###Response:Okay. They are big things to be worried about. What would happen if people did look?

“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.

I don’t know, I don’t want it to happen.

Sure, I get that. But I wonder whether thinking through all of these things that might get in the way can be helpful. These are the things that are standing between you and the stuff that is important – so if they are going to stop you doing things, we really need to understand why they are important, and if they are enough to get in the way.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:“What If This Is as Good as It Gets?”: The purpose of asking such a question is to help get the person thinking about how they can turn up now even when it is difficult, rather than waiting for a time when things may be better.###Input:I don’t know, I don’t want it to happen.###Response:Sure, I get that. But I wonder whether thinking through all of these things that might get in the way can be helpful. These are the things that are standing between you and the stuff that is important – so if they are going to stop you doing things, we really need to understand why they are important, and if they are enough to get in the way.

Linking Values and Committed Action

my life has completely changed

So what are your days looking like at the moment?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Linking Values and Committed Action###Input:my life has completely changed###Response:So what are your days looking like at the moment?

Linking Values and Committed Action

I am still trying to work full time, I feel like if I am well then I should be. I am doing school drop offs and then my mum is doing the pickups, and then at night I am pretty fried – I am usually in bed before the kids these days.

Is that what you want the days to look like?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Linking Values and Committed Action###Input:I am still trying to work full time, I feel like if I am well then I should be. I am doing school drop offs and then my mum is doing the pickups, and then at night I am pretty fried – I am usually in bed before the kids these days.###Response:Is that what you want the days to look like?

Linking Values and Committed Action

No. If you had of asked what I would be doing at the end of my life, I would have imagined more cocktails and lying on the beach.

I think we all have a version of that story! I do wonder, though, what would you like to be doing?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Linking Values and Committed Action###Input:No. If you had of asked what I would be doing at the end of my life, I would have imagined more cocktails and lying on the beach.###Response:I think we all have a version of that story! I do wonder, though, what would you like to be doing?

Linking Values and Committed Action

Really, if I am honest, I have been thinking about that. People keep asking me about what I value or what’s important. And I can’t come up with an answer, nothing seems to be important enough, but I think I would just want to be with the kids. I cant help thinking that they are missing out in all of this. I am always running around trying to get them here and there, and then I am exhausted and in pain and I don’t want them to see that, so I am spending more time in bed and disconnected from them.

I wonder if the answer might be in what you just said. It sounds like you are looking for big things, when the answer to the what’s important question sounds like it is right in front of you?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Linking Values and Committed Action###Input:Really, if I am honest, I have been thinking about that. People keep asking me about what I value or what’s important. And I can’t come up with an answer, nothing seems to be important enough, but I think I would just want to be with the kids. I cant help thinking that they are missing out in all of this. I am always running around trying to get them here and there, and then I am exhausted and in pain and I don’t want them to see that, so I am spending more time in bed and disconnected from them.###Response:"I wonder if the answer might be in what you just said. It sounds like you are looking for big things, when the answer to the what’s important question sounds like it is right in front of you?

Linking Values and Committed Action

That’s true. They are all I am trying to focus on. But, I am also not wanting them to be without, if I can keep working, it will make it a bit easier for us. There will be a time when I can’t, but I am trying to put away as much as possible for them.

I get that. And, it also sounds like you aren’t ready to give up work yet.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Linking Values and Committed Action###Input:That’s true. They are all I am trying to focus on. But, I am also not wanting them to be without, if I can keep working, it will make it a bit easier for us. There will be a time when I can’t, but I am trying to put away as much as possible for them.###Response:I get that. And, it also sounds like you aren’t ready to give up work yet.

Linking Values and Committed Action

No. I feel normal there. I can still do my job.

Then I think that sounds important to hold on to for now. I am wondering though, do you think there is a way to be more connected and engaged with the kids without having to stop work? I am thinking simple things, but things that might make a big difference.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Linking Values and Committed Action###Input:No. I feel normal there. I can still do my job.###Response:Then I think that sounds important to hold on to for now. I am wondering though, do you think there is a way to be more connected and engaged with the kids without having to stop work? I am thinking simple things, but things that might make a big difference.

Linking Values and Committed Action

I have been trying to think about that as well.

What are the things that the kids really love doing with you?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Linking Values and Committed Action###Input:I have been trying to think about that as well.###Response:What are the things that the kids really love doing with you?

Linking Values and Committed Action

There is this card game that they are obsessed with. They are always at me to play it – but I am so exhausted at the end of the day, I always tell them no. And I feel so guilty

I would like you to notice how strong that guilt is that is showing up – I would imagine it is really tough to not get pulled into that. But if we can stay here for a minute I would like to dial in further on the card game. It sounds like this is something that it would be important to prioritize. But, you only have a certain amount of fuel in the tank, right? So, I am thinking that in order to play the game with the kids, there might be something else that has to not be done.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Linking Values and Committed Action###Input:There is this card game that they are obsessed with. They are always at me to play it – but I am so exhausted at the end of the day, I always tell them no. And I feel so guilty###Response:I would like you to notice how strong that guilt is that is showing up – I would imagine it is really tough to not get pulled into that. But if we can stay here for a minute I would like to dial in further on the card game. It sounds like this is something that it would be important to prioritize. But, you only have a certain amount of fuel in the tank, right? So, I am thinking that in order to play the game with the kids, there might be something else that has to not be done.

Linking Values and Committed Action

That is right – there is a limited amount of fuel in the tank.

It’s quite funny how we are as people – we can recognize that we have less fuel, you have so much going on, and so much draining the tank at the moment, but yet, we still expect to be able to do everything that we were doing before. It’s kind of the equivalent of going for a long highway drive when you know that you only have a quarter of a tank, and there are no petrol stations anywhere around!

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Linking Values and Committed Action###Input:That is right – there is a limited amount of fuel in the tank.###Response:It’s quite funny how we are as people – we can recognize that we have less fuel, you have so much going on, and so much draining the tank at the moment, but yet, we still expect to be able to do everything that we were doing before. It’s kind of the equivalent of going for a long highway drive when you know that you only have a quarter of a tank, and there are no petrol stations anywhere around!

Linking Values and Committed Action

So, I need to think about ways to conserve fuel, or to spend less of it.

Exactly, so that you can do the things that really feel important. Like that game with the kids.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Linking Values and Committed Action###Input:So, I need to think about ways to conserve fuel, or to spend less of it.###Response:Exactly, so that you can do the things that really feel important. Like that game with the kids.

Linking Values and Committed Action

I wonder if I could take up some of those offers for people to bring meals in for me, and instead of cooking we could sit and play the game after dinner. I will have a bit more energy.

That sounds like a great idea. And I am guessing that there might be lots of those kinds of things – where you can outsource or just let some things go to free up the time and space to do the stuff that really matters.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Linking Values and Committed Action###Input:I wonder if I could take up some of those offers for people to bring meals in for me, and instead of cooking we could sit and play the game after dinner. I will have a bit more energy.###Response:That sounds like a great idea. And I am guessing that there might be lots of those kinds of things – where you can outsource or just let some things go to free up the time and space to do the stuff that really matters.

It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.

these thoughts are turning up all the time.

So, these thoughts that are turning up all the time. How are they different?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.###Input:these thoughts are turning up all the time.###Response:So, these thoughts that are turning up all the time. How are they different?

It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.

I don’t know exactly. They are still the same in lots of ways, they are about leaving the kids and being sad. I just keep thinking that I need to find a way to be okay with all of this, you know, to accept it, and move on in some way.

Move on? In what way do you mean?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.###Input:I don’t know exactly. They are still the same in lots of ways, they are about leaving the kids and being sad. I just keep thinking that I need to find a way to be okay with all of this, you know, to accept it, and move on in some way.###Response:Move on? In what way do you mean?

It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.

I don’t know. It just seems, though, that I can’t move past this. If I could work out a way to accept it, then perhaps it would feel more manageable somehow.

Accepting what?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.###Input:I don’t know. It just seems, though, that I can’t move past this. If I could work out a way to accept it, then perhaps it would feel more manageable somehow.###Response:Accepting what?

It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.

The whole thing.

The death stuff? How would you know that you have accepted it?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.###Input:The whole thing.###Response:The death stuff? How would you know that you have accepted it?

It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.

Um, I don’t know really. Maybe I would feel okay about it.

You would feel okay about dying?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.###Input:Um, I don’t know really. Maybe I would feel okay about it.###Response:You would feel okay about dying?

It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.

Maybe. It’s just really hard. I can’t work out how to do it.

I wonder if you might not be able to?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.###Input:Maybe. It’s just really hard. I can’t work out how to do it.###Response:I wonder if you might not be able to?

It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.

What do you mean?

Well, it sounds like what you are describing is that you want to be ‘okay’ with all of this. You want it to be okay to be dying, and that you wouldn’t have any emotions about that, or that you had somehow worked out a way to process those emotions. Am I reading that right?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.###Input:What do you mean?###Response:Well, it sounds like what you are describing is that you want to be ‘okay’ with all of this. You want it to be okay to be dying, and that you wouldn’t have any emotions about that, or that you had somehow worked out a way to process those emotions. Am I reading that right?

It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.

Yeah, but when you say it like that it sounds a bit unrealistic.

Hmm. That’s what I mean when I say that I am not sure that it is possible. I think for you to be able to do as you are describing, it would mean you not feeling anything about it at all anymore.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.###Input:Yeah, but when you say it like that it sounds a bit unrealistic.###Response:Hmm. That’s what I mean when I say that I am not sure that it is possible. I think for you to be able to do as you are describing, it would mean you not feeling anything about it at all anymore.

It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.

Yeah. That’s true.

And I just can’t imagine a time where you will say to me – ‘You know what. I am completely okay with everything that is happening here’.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.###Input:Yeah. That’s true.###Response:And I just can’t imagine a time where you will say to me – ‘You know what. I am completely okay with everything that is happening here’.

It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.

Yeah, I guess not.

I think what we can do work on though is all of the things that turn up around the thing itself. The sadness, the grief, the anger and the frustration. I think that we can do some work around accepting them, and making space for those things to come and go.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.###Input:Yeah, I guess not.###Response:I think what we can do work on though is all of the things that turn up around the thing itself. The sadness, the grief, the anger and the frustration. I think that we can do some work around accepting them, and making space for those things to come and go.

It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.

Let me guess, we cant get rid of those either …

Not unless you know something that I don’t. I think that those things turning up are part of what makes you very human and speaks to the weight of everything that is going on. Imagine the reverse. Imagine if you were sitting here and saying to me ‘I don’t care about this. I don’t feel anything’

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.###Input:Let me guess, we cant get rid of those either …###Response:Not unless you know something that I don’t. I think that those things turning up are part of what makes you very human and speaks to the weight of everything that is going on. Imagine the reverse. Imagine if you were sitting here and saying to me ‘I don’t care about this. I don’t feel anything’

It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.

That wouldn’t feel right.

No. And so, I think the acceptance is about knowing that the difficult things are going to show up. Not about being ‘okay’ with why they are showing up. So, I wonder what happens if we were to name these emotions – the ones that show up around this. I don’t mind what you call it, but I wonder if we named them and get to know them a little better, that when they arise in the future, you can recognise them easier.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.###Input:That wouldn’t feel right.###Response:No. And so, I think the acceptance is about knowing that the difficult things are going to show up. Not about being ‘okay’ with why they are showing up. So, I wonder what happens if we were to name these emotions – the ones that show up around this. I don’t mind what you call it, but I wonder if we named them and get to know them a little better, that when they arise in the future, you can recognise them easier.

It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.

That makes sense.

My guess is that they are probably going to hang around a bit, these tricky emotions. They might sit there on your shoulder and turn up at particular times. I think sometimes knowing that they are going to show up means that you can make a bit more room for them.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:It is important to be clear with the people you are working with about the distinctions about acceptance. When you speak about acceptance, it is likely that your patient will assume you want them to accept the situation. This is not the goal – we are talking about accepting theemotions/thoughts/feelings/experiences that arise as a result of the experience.###Input:That makes sense.###Response:My guess is that they are probably going to hang around a bit, these tricky emotions. They might sit there on your shoulder and turn up at particular times. I think sometimes knowing that they are going to show up means that you can make a bit more room for them.

The Drunk Guy at the Cricket Match

I had been a mad keen cricket player

So, when you are on the pitch, my guess is there is always that guy. You know the one who is yelling unhelpful comments.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:The Drunk Guy at the Cricket Match###Input:I had been a mad keen cricket player###Response:So, when you are on the pitch, my guess is there is always that guy. You know the one who is yelling unhelpful comments.

The Drunk Guy at the Cricket Match

Yeah, there is. Always a bloke.

What do you do with him? Do you talk back to him? Do you change what you do because of what he says?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:The Drunk Guy at the Cricket Match###Input:Yeah, there is. Always a bloke.###Response:What do you do with him? Do you talk back to him? Do you change what you do because of what he says?

The Drunk Guy at the Cricket Match

Nah. No point. He is just a drunk idiot. He is always going to be yelling something at me. So, I just get on and play.

Seems to me that that guy is a little bit like those emotions that are showing up. They are turning up when you don’t want them, but you can’t do anything to stop them either, and so, you end up just getting on and doing what you need to do.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:The Drunk Guy at the Cricket Match###Input:Nah. No point. He is just a drunk idiot. He is always going to be yelling something at me. So, I just get on and play.###Response:Seems to me that that guy is a little bit like those emotions that are showing up. They are turning up when you don’t want them, but you can’t do anything to stop them either, and so, you end up just getting on and doing what you need to do.

An Acceptance Dialogue

These thoughts bother me less during the day, but they bother me a lot in the evening

So, tell me more about those thoughts that have been showing up at night.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:These thoughts bother me less during the day, but they bother me a lot in the evening###Response:So, tell me more about those thoughts that have been showing up at night.

An Acceptance Dialogue

They are thoughts about the future mostly, me leaving the kids, what it will be like to die. I just keep thinking about how they will be without their mum, and how unfair it is that that is happening to them.

That sounds very distressing. Are they the same thoughts every time?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:They are thoughts about the future mostly, me leaving the kids, what it will be like to die. I just keep thinking about how they will be without their mum, and how unfair it is that that is happening to them.###Response:That sounds very distressing. Are they the same thoughts every time?

An Acceptance Dialogue

Mostly. They aren’t too bad during the day, but the second I put my head down on the pillow to sleep they arrive.

I would like to understand these thoughts better. Would that be okay? It would be interesting to notice how they are showing up. Are they words, or pictures, or do you hear the thoughts coming?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:Mostly. They aren’t too bad during the day, but the second I put my head down on the pillow to sleep they arrive.###Response:I would like to understand these thoughts better. Would that be okay? It would be interesting to notice how they are showing up. Are they words, or pictures, or do you hear the thoughts coming?

An Acceptance Dialogue

Um, I haven’t really thought about it like that. I guess that I mostly hear them, and then sometimes there are images that come along with them – usually the kids being really distressed, or I imagine what they will look like when they are older.

And how do these thoughts stop? Do they have a natural end point?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:Um, I haven’t really thought about it like that. I guess that I mostly hear them, and then sometimes there are images that come along with them – usually the kids being really distressed, or I imagine what they will look like when they are older.###Response:And how do these thoughts stop? Do they have a natural end point?

An Acceptance Dialogue

You are probably going to think this is a bit crazy, but I have this image of myself on my deathbed with all my family around me.

That doesn’t sound crazy at all. Would it surprise you if I said that people having that image, particularly at night is really common?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:You are probably going to think this is a bit crazy, but I have this image of myself on my deathbed with all my family around me.###Response:That doesn’t sound crazy at all. Would it surprise you if I said that people having that image, particularly at night is really common?

An Acceptance Dialogue

It would. It’s such a cruel thing to happen – there is something about that image that makes it feel more real somehow.

Something that immerses you into that space? Why do you think these things are showing up at night?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:It would. It’s such a cruel thing to happen – there is something about that image that makes it feel more real somehow.###Response:Something that immerses you into that space? Why do you think these things are showing up at night?

An Acceptance Dialogue

I don’t know. I think that it is the time when it is quiet and dark, and perhaps I have more time to think about it then.

You are probably right. I also wonder whether it might be the time when you are working less hard to keep it away.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:I don’t know. I think that it is the time when it is quiet and dark, and perhaps I have more time to think about it then.###Response:You are probably right. I also wonder whether it might be the time when you are working less hard to keep it away.

An Acceptance Dialogue

What do you mean?

Well, when you have spoken to me about how you are spending the days it feels like they are pretty full – and I am sure that they would be anyway, but I wonder whether part of that busyness is to not be thinking about everything that is going on?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:What do you mean?###Response:Well, when you have spoken to me about how you are spending the days it feels like they are pretty full – and I am sure that they would be anyway, but I wonder whether part of that busyness is to not be thinking about everything that is going on?

An Acceptance Dialogue

Maybe.

It sounds like these thoughts are really painful, and when they are showing up during the day, you are working hard for them not to be there. But, it seems like something different happens at night.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:Maybe.###Response:It sounds like these thoughts are really painful, and when they are showing up during the day, you are working hard for them not to be there. But, it seems like something different happens at night.

An Acceptance Dialogue

It feels harder to control them at night. My pain is usually worse when I lie down, and so I sometimes feel like I just give into it, and it washes over me.

That sounds like both ways are hard – the days sound exhausting with you doing everything that you can not to be thinking about it, but then at night when the thoughts come they feel completely overwhelming and out of control. Is that how it feels for you?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:It feels harder to control them at night. My pain is usually worse when I lie down, and so I sometimes feel like I just give into it, and it washes over me.###Response:That sounds like both ways are hard – the days sound exhausting with you doing everything that you can not to be thinking about it, but then at night when the thoughts come they feel completely overwhelming and out of control. Is that how it feels for you?

An Acceptance Dialogue

Yeah, it does. I just want them to be gone.

Do you think that’s possible? To never think about these things again?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:Yeah, it does. I just want them to be gone.###Response:Do you think that’s possible? To never think about these things again?

An Acceptance Dialogue

No. What kind of a mother would I be if I wasn’t sad or worried about my kids.

I think you are right. It sounds like these thoughts are showing up as a direct relationship to the situation that you are in. If they weren’t turning up, I think we would both be more worried.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:No. What kind of a mother would I be if I wasn’t sad or worried about my kids.###Response:I think you are right. It sounds like these thoughts are showing up as a direct relationship to the situation that you are in. If they weren’t turning up, I think we would both be more worried.

An Acceptance Dialogue

Mmm. So, you are saying that they won’t go away.

I don’t think so. Almost everyone I meet has these difficult thoughts and emotions show up. And, I don’t think I have ever met anyone who can make them go away. I wonder whether we need to shift the focus here. Maybe instead of working hard and being exhausted by trying to get rid of them, we work on some strategies to help make room for them.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:Mmm. So, you are saying that they won’t go away.###Response:I don’t think so. Almost everyone I meet has these difficult thoughts and emotions show up. And, I don’t think I have ever met anyone who can make them go away. I wonder whether we need to shift the focus here. Maybe instead of working hard and being exhausted by trying to get rid of them, we work on some strategies to help make room for them.

An Acceptance Dialogue

I don’t want to make room for them. Then they will take over.

It’s interesting how our brains go there isn’t it? Is that what happens now – for instance at night when you give them space?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:I don’t want to make room for them. Then they will take over.###Response:It’s interesting how our brains go there isn’t it? Is that what happens now – for instance at night when you give them space?

An Acceptance Dialogue

Kind of, I mean for a while, and then they stop eventually.

What are the worries about these thoughts, and what would happen if you did give them some space, to stop fighting with them?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:Kind of, I mean for a while, and then they stop eventually.###Response:What are the worries about these thoughts, and what would happen if you did give them some space, to stop fighting with them?

An Acceptance Dialogue

I don’t know, I can just see that they would be so overwhelming, and then, well, it makes it more real. I don’t want to think about the end. And I don’t want to picture those horrible things.

Like somehow giving it space will mean that these things happen?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:I don’t know, I can just see that they would be so overwhelming, and then, well, it makes it more real. I don’t want to think about the end. And I don’t want to picture those horrible things.###Response:Like somehow giving it space will mean that these things happen?

An Acceptance Dialogue

Maybe. Like somehow it is more real if I give into it.

That’s a scary thought, right? And I can see why your brain is trying to help you by thinking that if you don’t think about it, then it can’t be real. The only problem is that it is showing up anyway – you work really hard during the day for these thoughts not to show up, and then they just come at night when you aren’t able to work so hard to fight with them.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:Maybe. Like somehow it is more real if I give into it.###Response:"That’s a scary thought, right? And I can see why your brain is trying to help you by thinking that if you don’t think about it, then it can’t be real. The only problem is that it is showing up anyway – you work really hard during the day for these thoughts not to show up, and then they just come at night when you aren’t able to work so hard to fight with them.

An Acceptance Dialogue

Maybe.

Can I give you a strange example? Do you remember as a kid doing a tug of war?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:Maybe.###Response:Can I give you a strange example? Do you remember as a kid doing a tug of war?

An Acceptance Dialogue

Yeah

So, right now, you are in a tug of war with these thoughts/emotions/worries and anything else that might be showing up about the future. These worries are showing up because of this health stuff, and we know that they are showing up about the important things – the kids, the future, what means a lot to you. And, we wouldn’t want to get rid of that – because those things are important.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:Yeah###Response:So, right now, you are in a tug of war with these thoughts/emotions/worries and anything else that might be showing up about the future. These worries are showing up because of this health stuff, and we know that they are showing up about the important things – the kids, the future, what means a lot to you. And, we wouldn’t want to get rid of that – because those things are important.

An Acceptance Dialogue

Right

So what is your instinct when you are in a tug of war?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:Right###Response:"So what is your instinct when you are in a tug of war?"

An Acceptance Dialogue

You keep pulling as hard as you can, until you beat the other team.

That’s what most of us do. We keep fighting and fighting. But you know what, these things across from you – they aren’t going to go away. You have tried so hard to get rid of them, and you are exhausted from trying. And they are standing there ready to keep going – the grief, the sadness, the worry, the anger and the hurt, and probably a million more. Just ready to fight some more.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:You keep pulling as hard as you can, until you beat the other team.###Response:That’s what most of us do. We keep fighting and fighting. But you know what, these things across from you – they aren’t going to go away. You have tried so hard to get rid of them, and you are exhausted from trying. And they are standing there ready to keep going – the grief, the sadness, the worry, the anger and the hurt, and probably a million more. Just ready to fight some more.

An Acceptance Dialogue

So, what do I do then?

You drop the rope.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:So, what do I do then?###Response:You drop the rope.

An Acceptance Dialogue

I drop the rope?

Yup. Nothing changes with those thoughts. Those worries and thoughts are still there, and you could start that fight to get rid of them again whenever you want. But if we know that they aren’t going to get rid of them, and that they have a job. But, if you aren’t fighting with them all of the time, and you can make friends with them, it allows you more space to do all the other stuff.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:I drop the rope?###Response:Yup. Nothing changes with those thoughts. Those worries and thoughts are still there, and you could start that fight to get rid of them again whenever you want. But if we know that they aren’t going to get rid of them, and that they have a job. But, if you aren’t fighting with them all of the time, and you can make friends with them, it allows you more space to do all the other stuff.

An Acceptance Dialogue

That’s great, but what does that actually mean?

It means when those thoughts and worries show up, you recognise them for what they are. You might have a conversation with your mind to say – ‘Ah, grief, there you are. I see you. I know that you are trying to help me’. But the thing that changes is that you aren’t then fighting with everything to get rid of it.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:An Acceptance Dialogue###Input:That’s great, but what does that actually mean?###Response:It means when those thoughts and worries show up, you recognise them for what they are. You might have a conversation with your mind to say – ‘Ah, grief, there you are. I see you. I know that you are trying to help me’. But the thing that changes is that you aren’t then fighting with everything to get rid of it.

When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts

And then when I have the treatment it is going to make me feel terrible and then it starts, doesn’t it? Stuck in bed and not being able to look after the kids. What kind of a mother am I?

I don’t know whether you noticed this, but it feels like you just moved very quickly to how terrible things are going to be.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts###Input:And then when I have the treatment it is going to make me feel terrible and then it starts, doesn’t it? Stuck in bed and not being able to look after the kids. What kind of a mother am I?###Response:I don’t know whether you noticed this, but it feels like you just moved very quickly to how terrible things are going to be.

When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts

But that’s what chemo does. When I had treatment before, I ended up in bed for days each cycle. So I need to be prepared.

I totally get that, the stakes are high here (pause). We talked lots about how hard it was for you to not be able to turn up the way that you wanted, and I can see why your brain is trying to plan for if that were to happen again. But, I wonder if we might not be getting caught up in the thoughts about what might happen instead of what is actually happening.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts###Input:But that’s what chemo does. When I had treatment before, I ended up in bed for days each cycle. So I need to be prepared.###Response:I totally get that, the stakes are high here (pause). We talked lots about how hard it was for you to not be able to turn up the way that you wanted, and I can see why your brain is trying to plan for if that were to happen again. But, I wonder if we might not be getting caught up in the thoughts about what might happen instead of what is actually happening.

When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts

What do you mean?

Well, I wonder what you know for sure about this treatment right now?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts###Input:What do you mean?###Response:Well, I wonder what you know for sure about this treatment right now?

When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts

Well the oncologist said that it won’t be too bad, but he has been wrong before, and he isn’t the one who has to have it and be sick.

No, he doesn’t. But it strikes me that right here and right now, you are intending to do the treatment

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts###Input:Well the oncologist said that it won’t be too bad, but he has been wrong before, and he isn’t the one who has to have it and be sick.###Response:No, he doesn’t. But it strikes me that right here and right now, you are intending to do the treatment

When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts

Well, of course. I would do anything.

So, I guess I would like us to better understand how much your brain is filling in for you – particularly around the stuff about how terrible it is going to be.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts###Input:Well, of course. I would do anything.###Response:So, I guess I would like us to better understand how much your brain is filling in for you – particularly around the stuff about how terrible it is going to be.

When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts

Probably a lot.

And it’s doing that to be helpful. But, I think maybe it isn’t being that helpful. It sounds like getting caught up in thoughts is keeping you awake at night and leaving you feeling pretty panicked and anxious about the future.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts###Input:Probably a lot.###Response:And it’s doing that to be helpful. But, I think maybe it isn’t being that helpful. It sounds like getting caught up in thoughts is keeping you awake at night and leaving you feeling pretty panicked and anxious about the future.

When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts

Well, that’s true. But I can’t stop it.

I think in thinking about stopping it we are getting pulled into the detail, but I wonder whether it might be helpful to tease out what we know for sure, rather what our brain is filling in.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts###Input:Well, that’s true. But I can’t stop it.###Response:I think in thinking about stopping it we are getting pulled into the detail, but I wonder whether it might be helpful to tease out what we know for sure, rather what our brain is filling in.

When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts

And how do I do that?

That’s a good question. I wonder if it isn’t a simple answer – but maybe the first step is getting to know these thoughts a little better. Maybe a helpful question to help tease it out might be ‘what do I know right now for sure?’

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts###Input:And how do I do that?###Response:That’s a good question. I wonder if it isn’t a simple answer – but maybe the first step is getting to know these thoughts a little better. Maybe a helpful question to help tease it out might be ‘what do I know right now for sure?’

When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts

So that I can get rid of the other stuff?

I wonder if a better question might not be about thinking of ‘how do we manage the thoughts better so that you have some more space’?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts###Input:So that I can get rid of the other stuff?###Response:I wonder if a better question might not be about thinking of ‘how do we manage the thoughts better so that you have some more space’?

When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts

Mmmm. I know that you say that they won’t go –but if I could just know that the treatment isn’t going to make me sick like the last time, then I would be fine.

Mmm, that’s interesting, isn’t it? I wonder though whether that is the certainty story that we have talked about before showing up – if you could change one thing, that everything would be better.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts###Input:Mmmm. I know that you say that they won’t go –but if I could just know that the treatment isn’t going to make me sick like the last time, then I would be fine.###Response:Mmm, that’s interesting, isn’t it? I wonder though whether that is the certainty story that we have talked about before showing up – if you could change one thing, that everything would be better.

When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts

Oh. I didn’t even catch that.

Our brains are pretty sneaky sometimes. (Pauses) I don’t think we will get rid of it, but I wonder if with some more space it might mean that you have a bit more capacity for the things that we know are really important.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:When Thoughts Are Just Thoughts###Input:Oh. I didn’t even catch that.###Response:Our brains are pretty sneaky sometimes. I don’t think we will get rid of it, but I wonder if with some more space it might mean that you have a bit more capacity for the things that we know are really important.

Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.

I now experience grief in different places

I might be wrong about this, and please tell me if I am, but it sounds like the grief is turning up in lots of places at the moment.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.###Input:I now experience grief in different places###Response:I might be wrong about this, and please tell me if I am, but it sounds like the grief is turning up in lots of places at the moment.

Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.

Yeah

I don’t think we have named it like that before, have we?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.###Input:Yeah###Response:I don’t think we have named it like that before, have we?

Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.

No. I think we have talked about bits of it, but I don’t think I have ever thought about it as grief.

What do you notice about naming it?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.###Input:No. I think we have talked about bits of it, but I don’t think I have ever thought about it as grief.###Response:What do you notice about naming it?

Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.

Um, I don’t know really. It feels more reasonable somehow.

What do you mean by that?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.###Input:Um, I don’t know really. It feels more reasonable somehow.###Response:What do you mean by that?

Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.

Um. Well, it is, isn’t it, I am grieving for knowing that I am going, but I think it has been showing up and I haven’t noticed it. Well, I haven’t noticed it as grief.

How do you think you have been seeing it?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.###Input:Um. Well, it is, isn’t it, I am grieving for knowing that I am going, but I think it has been showing up and I haven’t noticed it. Well, I haven’t noticed it as grief.###Response:How do you think you have been seeing it?

Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.

I think I have been focusing on each thing. The frustration or the sadness, without stepping back from it to see the grief.

And what do you see with it, when you can take those steps back?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.###Input:I think I have been focusing on each thing. The frustration or the sadness, without stepping back from it to see the grief.###Response:And what do you see with it, when you can take those steps back?

Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.

I can see a bit more about how I have been responding in a really emotional way, and sometimes that I haven’t been as rational as I would like to be.

I don’t know that grief shows up in a very rational way.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.###Input:I can see a bit more about how I have been responding in a really emotional way, and sometimes that I haven’t been as rational as I would like to be.###Response:I don’t know that grief shows up in a very rational way.

Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.

That’s true.

But, I would imagine that there is a predictability about the story that the grief gives.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.###Input:That’s true.###Response:But, I would imagine that there is a predictability about the story that the grief gives.

Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.

I think that now that I think about it – it is mostly that it is showing up around the future and worry. Every time I think about what might happen, there is all of this other stuff that shows up too. I hadn’t thought about this being grief before.

I sometimes think of those characters that live in our brain – we have thousands of them. And for you, it sounds like that grief guy is sitting on your shoulder at the moment and being pretty loud for everything that shows up.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.###Input:I think that now that I think about it – it is mostly that it is showing up around the future and worry. Every time I think about what might happen, there is all of this other stuff that shows up too. I hadn’t thought about this being grief before.###Response:I sometimes think of those characters that live in our brain – we have thousands of them. And for you, it sounds like that grief guy is sitting on your shoulder at the moment and being pretty loud for everything that shows up.

Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.

I think so. He definitely has a lot to say.

I wonder if it might be worth trying to notice and catch it when that guy is showing up. It sounds like thinking about this stuff as grief is helpful and so, if you can identify it whenever it shows, I wonder what might look different.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.###Input:I think so. He definitely has a lot to say.###Response:I wonder if it might be worth trying to notice and catch it when that guy is showing up. It sounds like thinking about this stuff as grief is helpful and so, if you can identify it whenever it shows, I wonder what might look different.

Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.

It already feels less big somehow.

Like how?

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.###Input:It already feels less big somehow.###Response:Like how?

Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.

Like now that I can see it, it doesn’t quite have the same pull.

That’s pretty powerful, isn’t it? And nothing has changed. Those thoughts and emotions are still showing up, and I think they will keep doing it.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.###Input:Like now that I can see it, it doesn’t quite have the same pull.###Response:That’s pretty powerful, isn’t it? And nothing has changed. Those thoughts and emotions are still showing up, and I think they will keep doing it.

Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.

I think that might be part of it, though – I think I have been fighting to make it disappear, but then when they don’t, I am getting frustrated and sad.

So maybe part of recognising the grief guy is recognising that he is always going to be there. Sometimes he might be quiet, and sometimes he might be screaming in your ear, but the consistency is that he will show up.

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.###Input:I think that might be part of it, though – I think I have been fighting to make it disappear, but then when they don’t, I am getting frustrated and sad.###Response:So maybe part of recognising the grief guy is recognising that he is always going to be there. Sometimes he might be quiet, and sometimes he might be screaming in your ear, but the consistency is that he will show up.

Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.

Like that annoying neighbour that lives down the end of the street.

Even more persistent likely. But that’s part of it as well. When he shows up, there is almost a part of it ‘Ah! Grief, I have been expecting you!’

Below is an instruction that describes a task, paired with an input that provides further context. Write a response that appropriately completes the request. ### Instruction:Naming and Externalising Thoughts It can be particularly complex for people in this space to separate out thoughts/emotions/physical experiences. In recognising this, it may be helpful to provide prompts, language and models to help them become familiar with their internal processes.###Input:Like that annoying neighbour that lives down the end of the street.###Response:Even more persistent likely. But that’s part of it as well. When he shows up, there is almost a part of it ‘Ah! Grief, I have been expecting you!’