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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/m] I like this girl and she knows but she is so hard to please
POST: I don't really have much experience with women. To be fair I have only been on one date and never kissed a girl. Right now, there is a girl I really really like. She is amazing but she thinks she is a horrible person. She is introverted and doesn't like when people constantly try to talk to her. She is really nice but according to her, she can be really really mean sometimes but that is just because she gets stressed from things.
She knows I like her and we talk every once in a while but she doesn't have any feeling for me. Friends is all we are and for now I am alright with that. But I really want to take her out on a date and show her a good time. I know what the perfect date for her would be. She doesn't like touching or watching things but I know of a movie she might like. Hell even if we sat with a seat apart just to make her comfortable I would be fine with that.
The biggest problem now is that I don't know how to make her happy. Even as just a friend, she doesn't really accept any of my offers to help. As a friend, I would do anything for her and she knows that.
TL;DR: | I like this girl. She knows. She doesn't like me back. She is introverted but I may have figured out a good date if she ever said yes to one. She means a lot to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 17M/ with my Girlfriend 17 F going out for 2 months now, How to help her with self conscious issue from past BF
POST: Hey I really need some advice,
My Girlfriend of 2 months, although we've been "seeing" each other for about half a year now, has big self conscious issues surrounding her body and sexual intimacy, she hates me looking at her body and always hides under the sheets when we get intimate.
For a long time I've wondered why, she has a beautiful figure and everyone I meet comments on how good looking she is, although she slowly improved I could never understand the reason for this problem.
Until tonight when, after an argument, she told me that a past boyfriend used to call her ugly and other horrible things about her body all the time, especially after they broke up.
This clearly makes a lot more sense to me now but I am unsure what I can do to help her, apparently she's talked about it before but, I quote, "people think its ridiculous but nothing has ever been done about it".
I hope someone could perhaps relate or have any advice on the best thing I can do to help her?
TL;DR: | My self conscious GF was mentally abused by an Ex and I'm looking for some advice on the best course of action I can provide as her BF. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [f/30] finally moved out from living with my ex-fiance [m/42]. Now I'm utterly confused.
POST: We've been trying to work on our relationship all summer since we broke it off two months ago. Lately he's been telling me that he wants to propose to me again.
Unfortunately, we started fighting yet again.
After screaming at each other like we normally do, I finally said I couldn't take it anymore and hired a truck, drove 500 miles away and moved in with some friends of mine.
Before I left though, after we were cursing each other out while I was packing, he waved goodbye and didn't say much to me. I sat in the car for a while before realizing that if it was the last time we were ever going to see each other maybe I should try to do a better goodbye. So putting aside my differences, I knocked on the door of his house again.
He asked what I wanted and I said I wanted to say goodbye. He opened the door, held out his hand for a handshake and then pulled me into a tight embrace. We cried on each other's shoulders for a while, telling each other that we were really sorry and we didn't mean it and maybe we could still work things out if we get some space from each other for a while. Then he wouldn't let me leave until he'd cooked me some breakfast and he kept asking if I needed anything else to try to stall me.
Ended up crying on his shoulder a bit, he cried too and then I cried all the way down to my new place of residence. I called him like he asked me to when I arrived. He said the cats missed me and he missed me and I told him I missed him too. He said he was so sorry about everything that we said to each other and he was just confused.
But when we fight it gets so bad that it gets to verbal abuse/emotional abuse levels. He also likes to tug on my clothes to try to stop me from walking away when we're fighting.
God, why must we be so Jekyll and Hyde-ish. Why are there so many sides of us?
And where do we go from here?
TL;DR: | Moved out of ex-fiance's house and I want to go running back, but I know things won't get better if I do. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [34 M] found evidence that my wife [33 F] of 7 yrs may be trying to hook up with co-worker
POST: Hi all, I don't have any close friends who I feel comfortable talking to this about, so I'm hoping you can give me some outside perspective.
For the first time in our 10 yr relationship I went away on a 4 days trip. When I got home, she was vague regarding what she's been up to. In viewing her SMS logs, she was asking a male co-worker about when she could see his place, if they could meet up for dinner & drinks. There were also txt's from the bar where she was telling him to come out, because she could 'keep him up all night'.
I viewed the browser logs on her computer and she was browsing for lingerie and very racy clothing she would normally never consider wearing as she is very conservative.
I'm not sure what to do. On the one hand, I was snooping on her phone and I don't our marriage. However, I feel utterly betrayed, though I don't know if they've been intimate. It's *possible* I'm taking things out of context, but I don't think it's normal for a married woman to talk to a single man that I've never met about seeing his place & having dinner & drinks (what I would call a date).
We've been married for 7 years, and she used to call me every day at lunch to say hi, but that stopped about 3 weeks ago. She also didn't answer my calls when I got back within cell coverage (from camping trip) and didn't wait up for me when I got home.
I'm not sure if I should continue monitoring her SMS's or just confront her now.
TL;DR: | Think I've found evidence of my wife striking up a relationship with co-worker. Not sure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/books
TITLE: Reddit, please help me find this book.
POST: I know there's a bit to read but please bear with me. Back when I was around 12, I found this (fiction) book at my granddads house and started to read it (even though I knew it wasn't meant for my reading/maturity level). I assume that my granddad must have bought it when he was in his 20s (when he went on a year long business trip to the USA). So this book was probably written 50 years ago (rough guess). The book was written in a different style to most with no quotation marks, and instead new lines and dashes were used to show a person speaking. I only have a vague memory of what it was about but here it goes: A new teacher starts off at a rundown school. And when I say rundown, I mean probably one of the worst schools in the USA. Imagine those places where some of the kids are kept behind for years. So all I remember is how this female teacher tried to help all the rough students etc. no matter how much abuse was thrown at her at the time. I think in the end the students start to accept her, but even those details are shaky. If any of you know about this book, I'd really appreciate you telling me.
TL;DR: | quirky writing style (compared to the "average" book), new female teacher at a run down school, written around 1960ish? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by sleeping with a friend
POST: Last night a friend was having a 30th a few hours drive from home so we decided to stay down there and my female friend Jess offered to give me a lift. We are both good mates and so I thought what a good idea and i can sleep, on the way down I told her I was sharing a room with another 1 of our friends lets call him Simon. Almost at the hotel she starts talking about how funny it would be if we played a prank on simon and offered him a threesome, I was like that would be pretty funny... i thought Let's do it!
After a big night, much alcohol and party drugs were taken... we headed back at 3am, we all get a bus back to the hotel and Jess follows us to our rooms, I open the door and just collapsed on the bed.
Jess and Simon are hooking up at the door, both come in and go to his bed and start getting into it, she is moaning and he is moaning and im just thinking fuck. .. im so not keen for this so i pretend im passed out and asleep. Finally they are done and she leaves and i get a text saying she needs to talk to me so i leave the room and go to hers. The druken/high naive idiot i am, goes to her room and she is naked and jumps me and im like no way i dont want sloppy seconds. She says they didn't fuck, pulls my pants down and stars going down on me, so i was like ok im pretty horny now so jess and i fucked for like an hour. Afterwards it was awkward as fuck, i go back to my room and sleep and wake up and now I have to drive 3 hours with her back home. I told her not to tell anyone and I was way too high... but omg such a fuck up, most awkward 3 hours. I dont think i can sit down and be normal around her again.
TL;DR: | female friend was keen on me and took advantage of me drunk and high, spent 3 hours awkwardly not talking in the car |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How can I(F24) be more patient while waiting for my SO(M23) to be ready?
POST: My SO (M23) and I (F24) have been in a relationship for almost 2 and a half years, we have a wonderful relationship where we can be very honest and open with one another. The only real snag in our relationship is that about 10 months ago I reached a point where I decided that he's the one and that I want to marry him. The problem is that he's not there yet.
I do my best to be patient with him and accept that it's just going to take him longer but I find that I get worn down and it really gets to me sometimes. I tend to go through cycles where I'm ok for a couple months and then I start thinking about it too much and it makes me feel sad and distant from him. He knows how I feel and does his best to comfort me.
I was just wondering if there's anyone else who is going through this or has been through this that has any advice as to how to deal with being in different places in their relationship.
TL;DR: | Classic girl (me 24F) is ready before boy (M23) to get married, advice on how to cope would be appreciated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: If you had a year of free time & a library card, what would you read to start a fresh career (no degree), be it for $ or fulfillment?
POST: You have a whole year of free time and a well stocked public library.
What areas of interests and topics do you read in order to give yourself the knowledge to start a career that interests you, one that doesn't require a degree or certification (unless you could properly learn the material to complete either with books located in the library)?
[No recreational literature unless you want to become a writer of some sort, or it applies to a career]
Seriously, this came to mind when I went to the library and saw the endless amount of useful books to learn about anything you could think of, from drawing, to writing, to programming, to electronic music production, to biographies, to investing, ad infinitum.
A library card costs nothing, and there's so much to learn from spending time in a library, why don't more people take advantage of it, and if you could, how would you??
TL;DR: | If you had a free year, what would you read in a library to start a lucrative/fulfilling new career based on what you've read? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 F] with foreign guy I'm texting [20s M] for past 2.5 weeks. Am I hoping for too much?
POST: Ive been texting this foreign guy I met on OkCupid back and forth for the past 2.5 weeks. We hit it off right away and it's not completely hopeless for us because he says he's planning to visit my country in the next 2-3 months. I really like him and he makes me really happy whenever he texts. He got out of a serious relationship about 9 months ago and says he's been single since. I really hope he's as great in person as he is over text. I've been on a few days since we started texting but no one I've met compares to him. TBH most of my past relationships have been casual because my exes were commitment-phobic but I feel like there's really something here so I want to take it slow. My friends keep telling me to skype him to make sure he is who he says he is but I feel like i don't want to be disappointed before our first date, if that makes sense. Besides I trust him. As far as sexual compatability goes, we already sexted a few times. But at the time I was hoping for something more serious so I told him I didn't feel like casually sexting anymore. He agreed and we stopped but he still texts me constantly regardless so it's not just about sexting. One caveat is that he told me he has no plans of living in my country, so Im accepting that our relationship would end up being casual when he visits. But, part of me still hopes that this will pan out into something more serious. Do you think there's a chance?
TL;DR: | met foreign guy online with no plans of moving to my country, but I'm hoping for something serious with him. Any chance of that? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [24 F] express when I want to have sex to my new date [26 M]?
POST: I [24 F] have just started dating again after taking a break for a few months to focus on some personal issues. Last week I went on a date with a great guy that I like a lot [26 M] and we have plans to see one another next week. We talk daily and have great chemistry based on our make out session so far. It's looking promising and I'm really excited about getting to know him better.
I am not interested in having sex unless I am exclusively dating the person I'm seeing and a commitment to continuing our relationship has been expressed. It's just my personal preference. It isn't a "3 date rule". I prefer to know someone better and have an idea of what they're seeking before getting physical. I also am really not into sleeping with a guy who is seeing other women.
I have been single for a year after being cheated on, and I'm gradually learning how to trust again. I don't need some elaborate gestures, I love you's, etc. - just "I'm not seeing anyone else, I really like you and I want us to date exclusively."
I've read a few relationship advice books. They ALL say to keep men on their toes and wait out for sex all while making them think you don't want commitment. I hate these games. I realize dating involves careful thought and consideration, but I am a blunt person who values honest communication. Is there a line I can walk between being blunt but not scaring someone?
How can I convey my feelings about sex in a way that aren't demanding and weird? I don't want to ask for a commitment from someone. I want it to be offered freely. But I also feel weird about going on a lot of dates and avoiding the topic of sex and where things are going. Where is the balance here? And when do I say it?
TL;DR: | How can I let a guy know I want exclusivity before sex without being demanding or putting pressure on him to "commit"? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Need a really smart and experienced person to help me .
POST: Hello , im writing this out of desperation as i am in the hardest predicament of my life . Basically i just finished my first year of dental technique and had to pay 1k euro for the first year , and now i went to a private lab tolearn how dental technique in real life actually works , not the bullshit they teach us in school , but the thing is that the boss there is a completeley arrogant prick , hes not an evil person , hes just arrogant calling everyone stupid and makes sarcastic jokes about me implying that im not passionate enough , too slow and will never make it , at this point hes given up on me completeley but he is willing to let me come look at them work , maybe i can learn trough that .
The second problem and the biggest one is that i realised im not really passionate about this profession at all , thats why i cant put the effort that i know i could put into it to really learn and excell , i would instantly quit but i REALLY dont want to dissapoint my mother and my grandmother because they have supported me financially for this whole year and i dont want their money to go to waste and to crush their hopes
TL;DR: | Im a little bitch and i just now after 1 whole year realised i dont like dental technique but i dont want to quit to dissapoint my parents. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [20m] in a happy, healthy long-distance relationship with my GF [20f], but I can't stop fantasizing about this woman I'm good friends with when we're away. Any hints/help?
POST: My GF and I have been dating for 2.5 years. 1.5 years in our home town, and 1 year away from each other (FAR away).
I love her more than anything in the world. She makes me so happy, and I would never cheat on her. I want to marry her.
Considering the distance our relationship is actually pretty solid, and whenever were together its amazing and we spend every second with each other.
BUT while we're away, I spend a lot of time with another girl. She's very attractive, and we get along really well. I try not to flirt with her, or instigate any feelings more than good friendship, but regardless, the sexual tension is unavoidably apparent between us. She knows I have a GF and that I love her, and just want to be good friends with her, and doesn't try to get me to cheat at all, but it's clear that it's something she thinks about (she talks to other people about it).
I feel like because we're so far away, and my girlfriend and I are so... intimate... when were together, and this other girl is so close, and around me all the time, that my brain tries to fill in the gap of unfulfilled physical needs while I'm away by fantasizing about this other girl ALL THE TIME. I have dreams about having sex with her nearly every week. And when I'm with her, it's all I can think about. I almost can't look in to her eyes without thinking about kissing her, or having sex with her.
I would never cheat, but it's getting so hard to deal with this tension and guilt I feel for having thee fantasies and thoughts. It's nearly constant when I'm here. I just want to be good friends with her, and not have to deal with these frustrating fantasies. Any tips for how to deal with this?
TL;DR: | long distance, healthy, loving relationship, would never cheat, but can't stop fantasizing about one of my good friends here |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: My patient won't let me do physical therapy on her but her family want me to
POST: I (23F) work in the Philippines as a physical therapist with a passion. I care for the elderly on most occassions and I enjoy my career.
I visit one of my patients (+80F) during home care. She smiles and is hospitable to me, but she refuses to let me do my job for her. When I tell her family this, I tell them that I cannot conduct physical therapy without the patient's consent. It's part of the rules. I suggested switching to a different therapist but they insist on having me work for them.
I don't know how to help them. Are there any experiences nurses that can give me some advice or share with me some of their experiences? Do I persevere or do I comply? I would appreciate the gesture.
TL;DR: | I am a physical therapist. Elderly patient doesn't want me to do therapy on her. Her family need me to do it for her. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19/F] hit it off really well with a guy [22/M] at a party yesterday. What now?
POST: I met this guy at a party a little over a month ago and we ended up having a conversation for about two hours or so. He seemed really interested in everything i had to say! My dreams/goals/stories, everything! He was also very handsome haha. So I developed a slight crush and made the bold move to add him on facebook a few days later. Neither of us messaged each other or anything.
Yesterday, we saw each other again at a party and spoke for hours! He remembered little details of our previous conversation and I was flattered. The conversations with him are filled with so much energy and we were both just giggling the whole time. So now what do I do? Should i wait for him to message me? Do i message him? What should I say!!? I don't want to mess this up.
TL;DR: | Saw a guy at a party for the second time and hit it off again and I want to know how to take things further. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17M] with my Girlfriend [19F] Have been together a year and a half but things aren't the same.
POST: Okay so some back ground I am a senior in high school and she graduated a year ago, we have broken up three or four times for about a week at the time and gotten back together; (not even technically broken up we were still sleeping with each other) this is my first real relationship where I can say I am truly in love however...
Things with us are not the same it is like we argue all the time now.
It is truly the first relationship that I love someone but this isn't her first one. It is not a turn off but I don't know if she is the person i truly want because she is all I know. Also it is my senior year and I kinda want to have some freedom, and not be tied down. I know this sounds kinda wrong but I mean I want to be able to experience my life I don't want to be tied down she has started to talk about marriage and kids and I don't think I am ready for all that. I have also been kinda talking to other girl that I think I might like but not sure yet and if I do I can't go through with it.
Mainly my question is am I being selfish? Should I break up with her? If so how do I do it and not go running back to her like always?
TL;DR: | Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year and a half and things aren't the same. I want to try other thing and am I being selfish for thinking this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend wants to disagree with everything I say.
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together 3 months. Other than this issue, our relationship is great. I'm 31, he is 40. I am female, he is male. My boyfriend is always disagreeing with me. Sometimes it's one thing right after the other. It hurts sometimes because I will offer something that will benefit us both, like I offered to buy a new washer/dryer set to save money on our electric bill, set would really save some money. He just tells me a million reasons why it's a bad idea and acts like I'm stupid for even thinking about it. He said this right after I was bawling my eyes out about something bad that had happened to me...
I would have, especially in that moment, have at least appreciated some gratitude for the kind gesture, but instead I felt out down. All he needed to say was thanks, but no thanks. I've never had this type of feeling come up with anyone.
I'm 31. I've mentioned this to him and he said if I keep harping on it he feels like he will need to be fake. I don't need him to agree with everything, but sometimes I feel like he disagrees just to disagree. I would like him to at least acknowledge some of the many kind gestures I make, and kinda lessen the disagreeing when it's not necessary, because on some days it happens constantly.
bold I just want him to value my opinion a bit, or at least show it some more.
TL;DR: | I wish he could just show me that he value my opinion some more. I feel belittled with his urge to disagree all the time.. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20M] ex [22F] saved my phone number from three months ago and texted me two days ago. What does she want?
POST: A very long story short, I met this woman online and moved to be closer to her and give our relationship a chance. It ended very quickly (3 months) and there was a lot of blood shed, mostly about how she developed feelings for a married man and wished me "out of the picture." During our last conversation, she asked me to delete her number and I did. After that I deleted/blocked her on everything that I could think, and got rid of anything in my life that could possibly remind me of her. I did such a good job that I hardly can remember what she looks like.
But then I got a text from a mysterious number two days ago. After moving I only got a handful of numbers from other people, only only a few had the area code she had. So it didn't take much to figure out it was her. I feigned ignorance and asked who it was anyway. She tried to shrug it off as a wrong number, but I took a wild guess and asked why she texted me. She quickly apologized and I requested her to delete my number for her sake. I then deleted the thread. Maybe an hour later she texted again and said that she regretted how things turned out between us and was very sorry for how she "treated me." I talked to her a little bit, and she just kept apologizing, saying that I "deserve more than you ever got from [her]," and that she wished me the best. She also said that if I ever needed anything I shouldn't hesitate to go to her.
This morning I asked how she was doing and why she texted me, and she just said that she had been "doing some thinking" and felt that she was more emotionally stable now.
However, since I have a problem wanted to know everything, I'm wondering why she randomly decided to text me. I was thoroughly convinced that she was done with shit she thought I had and never wanted to hear from me again. Hell, she was adamant about blocking me on Facebook and cutting contact in every way. But this throws that out the window, and now I feel like I need to resolve something again in my head.
TL;DR: | Ex texted me about this pity party she was having for herself, and I'm wondering why. It doesn't make sense to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My bf [27m] did not handle my [26f] birthday well and I am not sure if I'm overreacting or not
POST: So we've been dating off and on for around 8 months. Things were rocky in the beginning but we had finally come to an understanding that we were happy with each other and planned on making this a serious relationship. Or so I thought...
My birthday is 3 days after Valentines, which can be scary for a lot of men. I work for a company who abuses the "holiday" so I gave him the go ahead to veto any plans he may have had and told him to just focus on my birthday. Now, I am very low maintenance to begin with so I figured this would be an easy task for him. I am a huge pothead, I like sparkly smelly good things and anything with owls on it. Typical white girl shit. I feel like I'm not hard to please at all.
So what does he do? We are laying in bed a week before my birthday and he tells me:
>I'm real low on money
>I almost got you a vape for $60 but I missed the coupon window
>I thought about getting you a chill Em
>you said we were good to not do vday so I didn't plan on that just so you know
>you said you liked that one comic...what was the name of it again? Oh yea, that's right. I'll swing by sometime and pick it up for ya
No talk of dinner plans, date night or anything. I'm well aware of his money situation and I would've been happy with a pizza and a card; yet now I'm sitting here stewing over this incident that makes me feel selfish and materialistic. But at the same time I'm so incredibly offended. Presents are my thing! I love planning them, giving/receiving the presentation...just all of it. I work really hard have come from little so anything that makes me feel special just does it for me. And I swear I've told him this many times before. So you would think that he (being an intelligent man) would have realized that my birthday is the time to go all out for me. But nope.
TL;DR: | my boyfriend didn't make plans for my birthday and asked me what he should get because he couldn't remember what it was that I wanted. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [22m] can't tell if I should tell the girl [22f] that I have been talking to if I love her.
POST: First off obligatory mention of the throwaway, girl knows my actual account.
So about three months ago, I met this girl through a phone app, unexpectedly. Since we met we have talked nearly every day, and about everything under the sun, we have exchanged details to which we discovered that we are very far apart from each other, but continued talking anyway. And as time went on we grew closer together, and now as it stands I am looking to move to her area for work by about August (finishing school before I can move) for reasons beyond just meeting and being with her, such as cheaper cost of living and better job market.
The problem here is this though, we have told each other that we are attracted and like each other in the past. But now, I can't stop thinking about her, no matter how hard I try. I feel like I am falling in love with her, and I want to tell her, but I am scared that I will scare her away, which is the last thing I want. If I could get some opinions from other people, I would be very grateful.
TL;DR: | met girl online three months ago, have yet to physically meet her, but I think I am falling in love with her, but scared she will run if I tell her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19M] have had an on/off relationship with my now ex [18F] girlfriend but I still like her.
POST: I started dating my ex girlfriend back in September of 2014. Everything was smooth and fantastic for the first few months but that is when it started to get rocky.
She was very insecure of herself and she was recovering from depression. Jealousy came with the insecurity and it became a problem due to the fact that she would think that girls liked me even if they just liked a profile picture on social media and so on.
We split up a few times not because I disliked her or I wanted to but because it all got a bit too much, it was very stressful and I didn't know what to do.
But even through all of that, she always did the very best she could for me, looked after me well, we understood each other and cared for each other like nothing I've ever experienced before.
As I previously stated I'm not longer with her and I stopped talking to her for a couple of months in an attempt to move on and I started talking to another girl, everything was going great.
But something just doesn't feel right, I know it hasn't exactly been that long but the break up didn't really affect me since we are still friendly towards each other.
I live in the UK and we are both starting different universities in September but they are only a couple of hours away from each other. Even through all of this, I know that I still love her and I would do anything for things to work but it's just so complicated I don't know what to do in this situation...
TL;DR: | On and off with girlfriend for over a year and a half, things like jealousy and insecurity got in the way even though it was a fantastic relationship, feel like I still want to be with her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, When's the last time you cried about something that wasn't death or injury related? I'll start
POST: When I was 14 the girl of my dreams went out with the most liked guy in school. I was broken and thought of every possible way to win her over. Me being a young fool, I got the exact same haircut as the guy in a pathetic attempt to win her over. well that didn't work to well. During lunch, my "buddy" that knew I had a crush on the girl, put two and two together. He starts laughing and runs over to her and tells her everything. I'm watching from a distance, she turns to me and starts laughing hysterically. My heart fell to my fuckin' toes. my eyes immediately start to water, I pretend to yawn and casually walk out of the cafeteria until I reach the washroom and cry like a fucktard.
TL;DR: | I got the same haircut as the guy that got the girl to win the girl over. she found out, she laughed, I cried. Fin. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Best Way to Sell My [Recently Purchased] Car?
POST: Earlier this year, I got a new job and figured the best thing to do was go out and buy a car. I realize now the error of my ways. It's a 2006 Mercedes C230, the payment is about $300/month (financed for 7 years). I ~~paid~~ financed $16,200 for it.
My wife and I sat down and did our monthly budget, and while we have $400 or so left over to pay down our other debts after every other bill/expense we can think of (barring some unknown emergency expense), to have an extra $300 or so on top of that would be awesome. I admit that when I bought the car I was looking at basically spending each dollar of our budget, and what we "could [technically] afford" (vs what we actually need), and I'm looking for a clean way out.
Ran some Blue Book numbers, its about $15,900 if you bought it from a dealer and about $13,200 (very good condition) as a private party sale. I was half joking with a friend last night and he said he would trade his car to me and take over the payments, but I'm not sure how this would work or how feasible it is. Would it be possible to "sell" it to him (or someone else) for something like $14,000 to pay down my loan, and he/they gives me their car then I finish making payments on the remainder of my loan? I admit, I don't know much about auto loans or transferring a title in that regard. It would just be really, really nice to have a few extra hundred in our account every month and I realize now that having a nicer car isn't worth the tradeoff when you've got debt in other places ($40k in student loans, $5k in credit cards, $1.5k in in-store credit accounts [needed a fridge]). Any thoughts other than "Wow, why the fuck would you buy a new car when you got a better job instead of enjoying your new income and focusing on paying down your existing debt."
TL;DR: | How do I (legally, obviously) rid myself of this auto loan? Trade in, private sale, trade to friend? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: People of Reddit who have gotten their appendix removed, how long did it take for you to completely feel better?
POST: I got mine removed Thursday morning and I am still in a significant amount of pain. (I had a bad infection) They remove the appendix differently now by only making 3 small incisions, which is good. A lot of the doctors told me some people go back to work as early as 2-3 days later. I can't even imagine that. They say it's going to get better and better everyday but I feel like today is the same as yesterday. I still haven't pooped, I still can't cough without it hurting very bad, I still can't get up and down normally. The doctors made it seem like I should be feeling almost back to normal by now.
TL;DR: | I'm not feeling as close to better as the doctor and nurses made it seem like I would by now. How long did it take you to feel better after the surgery? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (20M) need advice as to how to breakup with my new girlfriend (20F) with no hard feelings
POST: So I started dating this new girl I met from okcupid, we've been talking for a few months and we finally decided to go on a date last week. I had a great time and I really like her, so over the course of the last week we went on a couple more dates and during one of them I spontaneously asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. I think that might've been a mistake because ever since then, I've had this feeling of dread in my gut and I don't know why. I brought her home to my parents and they don't really approve of her (she hasn't finished highschool, she's got no job, no ambitions) and what they told me really made me open my eyes.
She's really cool, but she looks a lot different from her pictures and I don't know how to feel about it. I guess I'm not as attracted to her as I should be and I kind of regret asking her out. I know that's super shallow of me but I just don't feel right about this relationship, and I wish I didn't ask her out but it's too late. How can I breakup with her without ripping her heart out? She really likes me and I don't know what to say to her. I just don't know how to go about breaking up with someone when they've done nothing wrong...
TL;DR: | I asked a girl out successfully and I regretted it almost immediately. How do I break up with her without being a huge asshole? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [f18] tell him [m24] I hooked up with someone else or should I simply break up and spare his feelings?
POST: We have been together for 4 months and our relationship isn't exactly the best but it's working.
Anyways I'm going to avoid a wall of text and just get to the point: This Friday (while being drunk) I made out with another guy for a couple of minutes but as soon as I stopped I felt extremely shitty and I'm really suprised that I did it.
I really can't hide it and continue with this relationship so this is what it has come to, break up with him and tell him I want someone closer to my age, that we have way to different lives and that I'm really busy with school. Or I simply tell him I hooked up with someone else. But here's the tricky part, about a year ago his engagement ended because of his fiancee cheating with his best friend. He has already said that his family doesn't want him to date [my nationality] because of us cheating which makes it even harder.
I have no idea how he will react to it and I don't want to make it harder for both of us since my conscience is already giving me hell and I don't want to open his old wounds. I figured it's easier to deal with a "simple" break up than knowing that 2 people cheated on you.
TL;DR: | I hooked up with someone else and don't know whether I should break up with him and spare his feelings or come clean? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 M] with my friend [25 F] of 1,5 years, she never message me first
POST: So I have this girl that I really like. She is cute, smart and I just feel attracted to her. I message her sometimes every other day for weeks, sometimes I don't for weeks. She is answering most of the times, except for few occasions and I like to talk to her. She independently discovered the same Coursera courses I watch. She is shy and introverted like me. I think our written communications by number of words exceed all my other written communications, personal and work related combined. But here is a problem, She never message me first and I feel like may be she is doing it out of politeness.
History of our relationship. I am a nerdy database administrator, foreveralone kind of guy. Never had any relationships longer than several dates. About two years ago she messaged me on my okcupid profile. Yes, that's right, she messaged me. To be fair, Okcupid in my country don't usually used by people who don't know English, so there are not so many people on it, proverbial Chads are not usually bothered to learn a second language. It is day and night compared to dating sites in my native language, where I usually don't even get replies to 99 out of 100 messages I send.
So she messaged me, we talk and even meet several times. First time was really great, I remember thinking to myself "That's the kind of girl I want to be with". And she looked interested at first too. We met several times after it, but she looked less enthusiastic and it took me a lot of time to convince her to go out with me. Last time I tried to act confident and lightly kissed her on lips and said that I want to have relationships with her. She said that she need to think about it and that she still likes the guy who dumped her a year ago and hope to fix things with him. Well, that was polite rejection. After that she never agreed to meet me or agreed and then cancelled plans. But we continue to talk. I have a feeling that it may be unhealthy, but I like to message with her.
TL;DR: | I like a girl and like to talk with her. She don't like me back but answers my messages. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I need an outside perspective to figure out my friend's actions
POST: I'm in a pretty confusing situation and am hoping that this outside perspective will bring some clarity.
This past December, I ended a relationship of ten years. Only days after we broke up, my best friend made a move and we started a casual sexual relationship. This lasted from December up until late March. I wanted more and he wasn't willing to commit. He said he didn't feel ready for a relationship because he was still not over his previous relationship. I knew that I wasn't either since I also just gotten out of my relationship. I told him I needed time away to try and get over him and we stopped all contact for two months.
In that time period, I had eventually decided that I would try to forget about him completely, even as a friend. However, we have a mutual best friend and we ended up reconnecting again recently through him.
We were friendly with each other but there was still a really high level of sexual tension. About a week after we reconnected, he showed up at my house, drunk and asked if he could spend the night because he got ditched at the bar he was drinking at with his friend. I said yes, and of course he made a move and we ended up hooking up.
This was 3 weeks ago and now we've gone back to hanging out with our mutual best friend regularly. We haven't hooked up again since then though. He's been warmer towards me, and is seeming more kind although he's still flirty. He hasn't at all tried to make a move again though. I feel confused by his actions. Why did he initiate again so quickly? Why is he no longer initiating, and what could all of this mean? I tend to be naive when it comes to these kinds of situations and constantly worry that I am being oblivious.Thank you for helping me make sense of this.
TL;DR: | FWB ended badly, we reconnected recently and hooked up one more time. Friend hasn't initiated again but is hanging out regularly. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [26/M] have realized my gf [29/F] is not the person I want to grow old with but I still really care about her. What do I do?
POST: I've been dating my girlfriend for 3 years now and she moved up to Washington from Cali with me when I got out of the military. She believes that we will be married in the next few years due to conversations we had when I was deployed but now I'm realizing that the passion/intimacy is gone from our relationship and I'm unhappy. How do I proceed? I know that if we breakup it will be incredibly difficult for her both emotionally and financially... Do I wait until we're both done with school (2 years) or until our lease is up or just call it quits now? She's an amazing person and she has been a wonderful gf but without the intimacy it's making me feel incredibly unwanted and even though we've discussed it multiple times nothing has changed. What should my next step be?
TL;DR: | gf is awesome, but not my soulmate. She wants a ring and I want out, what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26M] am on my way to see my girlfriend [28F] and am unsure if we should break up.
POST: We've been dating for about 5 months now and met on OKCupid. She lives in the heart of Philadelphia going to get her Ph.D and I live in Queens, NYC. It takes around 3-4 hours for us to see each other one way, and 3-4 hours to go back.
I like her, a lot. She has been the kindest and this is the most healthy relationship we've both been in. we have seen each other every week for 5 months except for some days where we go on vacation without eachother.
I am very hesitant of continuing the relationship not because of money, but because of time. I am on the train to see her now and I'm so frustrated with how long it takes to commute to see eachother. We've tried seeing each other every other week, but then we feel guilty for not making an effort. We're both extremely busy with work during the week and the weekends we also have barely any time.
But when we do make time, it's fine! We're happy to be next to each other and we're very mature about everything. But for the other 5-6 days in the week, we are so busy and we can't care for one another.
I don't really know what I should do in this situation, because I like her but I cannot stand the distance as it puts so much pressure on both of us.
TL;DR: | have long distance relationship with girlfriend, don't know if I should continue dating a great girl due to... well.. the distance. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Now the in-laws are talking about taking another "family vacation" together...
POST: (background:me 45m, she 41f, married 3 years)
Her family is very close.This year her father took us all on a week-long vacation.
I havent been on a family vacation since I was SIXTEEN. My family is close, but not *that* close.
It took a great amount of mental preparation for me to go on that trip this past year. (i *get* the fact that this is a very generous gesture... but still... not the way I want to spend my paid vacation!)
My wife's philosophy is "who's gonna turn down a free vacation?"
Answer: **me**.
I am **sick** over the fact that he's talking (and has been talking since we got back from the last vacation) about doing it again next year.
It's not about turning down his generosity ...its more about finding our own things to do in life in our free time.
TL;DR: | father in law wants to take us on vacation this year...again... and we're all in our **FORTIES**... and I say...'who the hell does that??' |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by splattering a bunch of high school girls in sour cream
POST: So today my friends and I were talking and having a good time during lunch, and one of us had a little crushable cup of sour cream that she wasn't going to eat. A kid next to me was tapping the cup as if he was going to break it and then said to me, "your turn" and jokingly "he's gonna smash it." So naturally without putting one shred of thought into potential consequences, I slam the sour cream as hard as I can. That fricking sour cream cup blew wide open in the direction of about 15 girls I'd never met. The sour cream coverage had to be at least 30 feet down the table. All those girls screamed and yelled "WHAT. THE. FUCK." That shit went everywhere, in their food, hair, backpacks, you name it.
None of the girls who got splattered with sour cream knew definitively who had hit the cup, so I being a total dick, lean out of view the victims behind a taller guy and let my friends take the blame.
TL;DR: | I slammed a cup of sour cream which shot out a solid 30 feet down the lunch table and splattered a bunch of high school girls, then let my friends take the blame. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [23/F] Aren't we all adults here? Friendship after the breakup?
POST: My ex [22/M] broke up with me three weeks ago. He was a good guy during our relationship, but there just wasn't anything there and it wasn't going anywhere. We'd only actually dated for three months. When we broke up, he told me that our "romantic relationship had run its course," and that was that.
We had known each other since high school and had been active friends for about three months before we started dating. During our relationship, we'd send each other funny posts via Facebook chat during the day.
I gave myself two weeks to get over the break up, and to show my ex that I was okay with him, sent him a link a few days ago. He responded in kind over the next few days, and tonight I finally asked him to come out with a group of us to the bar tonight. Text was literally, "Come out tonight?" He isn't very social and didn't commit to coming, which was fine.
I teased him about being boring and said this: "I know it's only been three weeks, but I'm cool with everything and I figured we could just go back to the way things were. I consider you a good friend and I want us to be friends, but I need to know honestly if that's what you want, too." He was short on many things during our relationship, but honesty was not one of them, and I just gave him the go ahead to honestly tell me whether or not he wants to be friends. I haven't heard a response in two hours, which is typical, but if our break up wasn't bad, and neither of us were hurt by it, can't we still be friends? I'm anticipating a response that says something along the lines of, "Well if you're so over him, why do you care if you're friends?" To which the answer should be obvious. We were very close before and I'd like to keep him in my life. What has been your experience with friendship after break ups?
TL;DR: | after a really easy break up, our friendship is slow to get started up again. What are your experiences with friendship after a break up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what's the worst/sneakiest/most annoying way a Customer has tried to screw you over?
POST: So, at work today, a customer calls me up, asks if we have a certain product in stock. I tell him we do, and the price. He asks if we price match, I tell him 'yes, but we would need to verify with the store, either by phone or online stock check'. He asks what time i'm here until, because he 'likes dealing with the same person' and I tell him.
Fast forward 2 hours after I've finished work, my manager is texting me to call her about a price match issue. I call her, and she tells me the customer is caiming we didn't need to check anything, and that i gave him many options. He also told her I'd agreed to a lower price than we had mentioned, and that I'd already checked it.
the
TL;DR: | of this is 'Sneaky fucker tries to pull a fast one by lying' but I could have gotten into some serious trouble, and all over $10 |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] First time ever having girls like me, No idea what to do
POST: Hey guys, I'm new to this subreddit but I was hoping for some help because I have no idea what I'm doing.
I'm an 18 year old guy going to college in a small town. For all my life I've been overweight and no girl has ever considered me very attractive (excluding my mom and grandma). I didn't get my first kiss until my 18th birthday party.
But then people's perception of me changed once I started to lose weight. I have more friends, and the one thing that I've never had are now my problem - girls.
There are so many girls that like me now and I don't get it. I still feel like the same me.
I used to think that dating was super cool and I was disappointed that I was missing out or something, like I had to be validated by my friends or someone else's love to be worth anything.
But now girls all act like they like me and the worst part is a lot of them are friends fighting over it, and I don't even think I'm that attractive of a dude.
I've never had to deal with more than one girl liking me. I always thought guys went for the prettiest girl they could get, but that doesn't feel right anymore.
All my highschool I just wanted someone to love and accept me. Now I don't need that anymore.
This goes much more in-depth if anyone is interested, but I guess what I'm really confused over is how do I know if I want to date someone? What if there are multiple options?
TL;DR: | Lost 45 lbs, still going, girls noticing me and liking me, I have no idea what to do, how do I chose or know if I want to date at all? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [19] My girlfriend [18] of 5 months is going to college 2 hours away this year, we are both in a bad place. What to do?
POST: My girlfriend is going to a college 2 hours away from where we live now. She has looked into transferring to a school nearby, but I insist that she doesn't because the school she got into is the best for her major, even if it means losing her. On the other hand, I am more than willing to transfer to her school because I was considering going there anyway, I just picked another cause it was closer. However I am in a transfer program that requires 2-3 years at community before going to a state school.
I am going over to her house today and we are going to talk for a couple hours about everything, however I am not sure if theres anything I can say to help her feel better. She knows that I love her very much and don't want this to end. I know that she cares about me very deeply to the point where just the thought of this makes her cry. However, it still is very worrying. We always hear stories of long distance relationships not working, but we don't want that. We both know that our relationship is something real that we dont want to end.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend going to college 2 hours away this year, devastating us both. How can we feel better about it all? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M36] recently broke up with my [F27] after she cheated. Completely lost
POST: Bit of a back story first. Been married for 6 years, together for 9 years and 3 weeks ago I discovered my wife is cheating on me.
Things haven't been great all year but they were picking up and due to go on holiday in a couple of weeks time which we were both looking forward to.
When I confronted her about the cheating she denied it and in an argument it came out she was going to leave me after the holiday anyway.
Since that day she has been living in the spare room here until our finances are a bit better to cope on our own and she has now moved out having got her own place.
It has been confirmed that she has indeed been cheating with someone she works with and for the past few weeks I have felt absolutely shocking to the point of being almost physically sick. I was a late bloomer and she was my first girlfriend and so my first love. All I keep thinking about is how could she do it to me.
I've cared for her when shes had very long periods of sickness off work, I was there when she had an operation and was by her side holding her hand the whole day whilst she came round. I've supported her financially through hard times when she wasn't working and also when she tried being self employed. And then she goes and does that to me.
I dont know what to do with myself. Ive never felt so upset in my whole life, and I feel physically and emotionally drained. I even feel physically sick writing this post from thinking about her.
I don't have many friends, and the ones I do I only see occasionally to go to cinema and that's about it. Im at a complete loss on what to do with myself. Everything for the last 9 years has revolved around me and her. She was my life.
What do I do? How do you cope with it.
TL;DR: | Couple for 9 years, married 6, wife cheated on me. I feel sick and emotionally drained. What do I do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Not Sure where to go next
POST: I've been going out with my GF for about 8 months now. We were coworkers for a sort of summer camp, and during the weeks of that program we got to know each other. At the end of the program for the rest of the summer we went out a few times and I asked her to be my GF.
All's well and good for awhile, (the usual honeymoon phase and stuff), but as school picked up I became more and more stressed and buried in my work. though we still interact, it seems that in the past month or 2 I have been doubting myself in terms of this relationship. Have I gotten myself into more than I can handle? I feel as if I don't have enough resources (emotional and otherwise) that I can give to her anymore. School has been so draining for me, and I have been under so much stress, that I could hardly ever be there for her. The stress has gotten so bad that I even turned down sex this past weekend because I had to finish a project (Do I have to turn in my man card now?)
I guess one could say it's normal to feel a bit strange after the honeymoon phase, but at this point i'm really not sure. I feel like she could do better than me, because I don't seem to offer her much at all. And, to be honest, she doesn't seem to be offering much to me, either. I feel as if our relationship is just on the surface now, and it's stagnant. It feels as though we know each other, some small things that maybe not everyone else would know, but I don't feel like we're supporting each other or building each other up as we should be in a relationship.
I think it's a combination of both of our academic stresses and the relationship reaching a stasis that's causing me second-thoughts. What could I do to break this stasis, or is it better to break-up and be friends? It seems as though we're already just friends now, excepting for some of the cutesy language she uses in her texts.
Thanks for your thoughts!
TL;DR: | GF of 8 months or so, stress building up from tough academic schedule over past months. feeling like stagnant relationship, no development. Not sure how to further develop it or if it's better to break up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO [23M] of 5 years is getting mad at me [21F] for being a night owl
POST: Throwaway because I'm not sure how often he browses reddit.
To set things straight, we do not live together.
We used to hang out with our friends until 3AM during our fall semester. He was fine. We used to stay up on Saturday nights to watch documentaries. He was fine.
Until this spring, I started to do things I wanted to do. I had a birthday party in March that ran a little late so that my friends who got off late could attend. He started to get pissy around 12AM that night and could've gone home, but stayed for another hour anyways. I get upset that he's upset. He goes home. I go to his house at 3AM to spend the night. He says sorry that morning, and asks me not to stay up late anymore. Sexy time.
~Two months later:
I built a PC. I was so excited to finish it, but needed to install an OS which a friend provided me with. I had my PC at my SO's house but my friend didn't get off of work until 10PM and would work another 11AM-10PM the next day. Friend comes over with OS. SO tries to go to sleep ~11PM. Problems with installation ensue until 1AM. SO gets mad he can't sleep as soon as I get into bed. Sexy time.
Next day, SO is pissy about **everything**. Throws a fit because I had left my cup of water on his dresser where he knocked it over. I go non-verbal and he sternly tells me to say something. It's late and time for me to go home because it's a school night. SO says sorry he's been cranky. Says he can't stay up late anymore and I should go to sleep earlier.
The problem is that I don't really understand what his point is. In the past year he's been okay with staying up late to not okay. I'm not making him stay up late, am I? This is the first time he's been mad at me for being a night owl. However, I do understand that he's concerned, but isn't it my choice to act out my night owl tendencies?
TL;DR: | We don't live together. I like to stay up late. He doesn't. I get in trouble for it and I don't completely understand why. Advice? Thoughts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Help, this won't stop bugging me and I got into an intense fight with my gf over it
POST: Okay so I hang out with my girlfriend(of 15 months) at least once a week sometimes twice and I would like to more but that's irrelevant right now anyways one of these days I decided to hang out with her she wore some tight jeans and she didn't shave and not so sexy underwear but she thinks so but it doesn't seem like it the next day when she wore leggings and a g string and shaved and she says there was no reason to doing it the next day. Given that statement meant is true what does that mean about her or our relationship and if that statement isn't true then what does that mean?
TL;DR: | so when we hung out she didn't seem to try it care but the next day she did and we got in a fight over what was meant by it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [34M] am freaking out a bit about the idea of not finding someone and never having a family.
POST: Broke up a while ago, due to valid reasons, stayed friends. I have 2 nephews and it's made me realise I really want a family one day, but feel like am running out of time to do it.
One of the main issues we had, we were very co-dependent, we didn't have many friends outside each other. Since the break up I've been hanging out with workmates a lot more, which has been great, but it doesn't feel like I've expanded social circle any.
Anyway, I guess the question is, how do you get out there and start making new friends when you aren't used to doing that kind of thing?
Case in point, supposed to be going to London tonight for a charity thing with a mate, but he's had to cancel. But am now thinking of going on my own as a try out. Feels very weird doing this stuff solo. What do you even do going to this kind of thing on own?
TL;DR: | Starting to worry never going to have family, never really done the whole get out there on own thing. Help, tips, advice, etc welcome. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I(23/F) am a newlywed and I think I made a huge mistake getting married.
POST: My husband is 31 and I am really thinking this was a bad idea to get married. We have been together for 6 years and I love him more than words can say. He really acts like nothing has changed in our lives. All the things he said he wouldn't do because we weren't married are still the same. Like he went out with some former coworkers tonight and has been gone drinking for 6 hours and is ignoring my calls, something he has done off and on from time to time for years but swore he would stop doing. He makes more money in 5 months than I do in a year but, I still pay for all our groceries and my own bills. Last week he went to a gaming convention with his friends and is planning their next all night LAN party but I get hell for going out to the movies with a friend while he is out of town. This just seems so unbalanced now, worse than before. He kept saying things were going to even out when we got married but nothing is different. He seems so unbalanced, he makes me feel like I am the bad guy. I don't know what to do. I am just realizing that things aren't going to get better if he isn't going to try. I can talk, ignore, yell, cry, pretend all I want but things are not what I thought they would be.
TL;DR: | Got married and nothing changed. I knew it wouldn't fix our problems but I thought that it would at least put us on even ground and it didn't. Now I am not sure if I made a huge mistake. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit: Any advice on caring for an elderly family member? Or how to find them a good facility in which they can receive the proper care without costing the family a fortune?
POST: Here's the deal, my maternal grandfather is 83 years old and in declining physical and mental health. He was in the hospital for 3 months earlier this year due to complications with COPD, congestive heart failure and diabetes. He also spent about 3 weeks in rehab in order to regain his strength and learn to walk again. My aunt and my mother are his only children. My mom wanted to find an assisted living facility for him to go and my aunt was insistant on bringing him home to her house. Here we are, 5 months later and this has caused my aunt and my mother to fight all the time. My aunt and her husband are the main caretakers and my mom takes my grandfather on the weekends she has off. My mom is a single mother with a 6 year old that mom has full custody of (my sibling's dad is a fucking dead beat). My grandfather requires oxygen, blood glucose testing, and is basically like a kid again. He can't cook for himself, he is still unstable on his feet. He is also starting to show signs of dementia. In my opinion, he needs an assisted living facility, but his insurance is crap and neither my aunt nor my mom can afford to pay for it. Has anyone been through this before and have some insight as to how to get my grandfather the help he needs? We are in Maryland if that helps. Does anyone know of any programs, assistance of any kind? He is a veteran as well. Any insight/advice would be greatly appreciated!
TL;DR: | Grandfather is in failing health, family is trying to take care of him, but is lacking the resources. Any knowledge about assistance programs would be greatly appreciated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [M20] In love with my Best friend [F20] who knows but contantly sees other guys and doesnt hid it.
POST: I know this sounds like a stupid cliche but anyways here goes...
My Friend that had a boyfriend when i first met her broke up
with him and has been single since however she treats me like her boyfriend.
We see each other everyday talk/ text everyday and i even sleep at hers pretty much every other night.
The problem is ive started to develop real feeling for her (to the point where if i see her get with another guy i feel like shes cheating on me and i go through weeks of painful depression only to repeat the cycle.
So now after not having a boyfriend for a couple of months shes resorted to using tinder to meet guys all the while she knows just how much i care for her in that way.
We joke on saying that were perfect for each other we never fight but she knows that her getting with guys causes me this pain but obviously she can't help it since she wants to find love herself. She comforts me after it happens and is always the first person here for me when i need her (for psycological issues) but still she sees me as her best friend.
TL;DR: | Friend zoned by the girl i love and we are essentially gf and bf without sex and i feel becasue she worries about me psycologically she cant move on with her own love life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] with my gf [26 F] 7 year relationship, texting non-stop to another guy
POST: GF and I have been together for 7 years. Recently she made some new work friends (all guys) and one in particular she is texting and snapchatting constantly. We've had a few arguments and I've let her know how I feel about her texting a guy everyday. She won't stop. She has deleted evidence of snapchatting and texts once I called her out on it, claiming she didn't want to make me mad that she was texting this guy. I've snooped a bit (we kind of share the phone) and haven't seen anything too concerning, but I don't feel comfortable with snapchat pics/videos of herself (silly faces and such with cutsie messages) to the guy. Am I just being very insecure? Our sex life has slowed dramatically also. She claims she loves me and wants to be with me 'forever'. We are very intertwined financially and live together. Anyone have any similar problems to this or advice? I am making myself sick with worry.
TL;DR: | Gf snapchatting/texting guy from work everyday, told her how it makes me feel, she wont stop and has hidden/deleted evidence. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: His parents don't like me because I dated another girl in the past. What do I do?
POST: He's 17 (m), I'm 16 (f). Been pretty good friends since 7th grade (we're now juniors) and have now been together for a month and a half or so.
Backstory: in freshman year I dated a mutual friend of ours, a girl (was an experiment of sorts, kinda complicated, unimportant for now) for 3 months. It caused a bit of controversy amongst parents and friends because of the whole lesbian thing and when her dad found out, she broke it off.
Now, the guy is fine with that. His parents aren't. They (according to him) think of me as contaminated and generally don't approve of me, purely because I dated a girl as far as I know - it seems to stem from homophobia alone. I'd met them a few times before I got with this guy and they were fine with me then. I believe their disapproval of my past choices is due to religious reasons.
So my question is, how do I approach his parents? Clearly they do not want their son spending time with a contaminated person such as myself (the mother much prefers his ex gf to me). I kind of want to talk to them about this, but then it's not really my place. I get the feeling it's going to get in the way of me and him down the track. They've prevented him from seeing me a couple times now, I think, and I feel it's going to happen again. Since this is a high school relationship I'm not pinning my hopes on this one guy forever, obviously, but I really would like to do something about his parents hating on me right now.
TL;DR: | his parents don't approve of me because I dated another girl a couple of years ago and they think I'm 'contaminated' etc. and I would like to do something about it but don't know how. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: How do i actually eat healthy without ketogenic diet?
POST: I'm a 18 year old male, 5'10" and I weighted 195 lbs a year ago. I lost 30 lbs last summer while on ketogenic diet and then I quit keto because everyone told me I looked really good now. But then I started binge eating because "I looked good and was at a healthy weight so what would 3000 calories of sweet stuff a day do to me...".
Well, now I weight about 178 lbs, I gained half of the weight back. If it wasn't for Keto, I would have even surpassed my highest weight. I keep switching between keto and a very unhealthy carb filled diet. I learned how to eat unhealthy and how to eat keto, but I still don't know what I should eat to consider my diet healthy.
I will do keto for 1-2 months to lose the weight I gained and then I plan to start eating normally (but healthily), so I want to know as much about eating healthy food as I can.
TL;DR: | Keto was great, I lost 30 lbs, but I don't know how to actually eat healthy and whenever I quit it, I start binge eating and gaining weight back. I want to learn how to eat healthy without keto. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I tactfully suggest my SO change his approach to acne treatment?
POST: My SO has facial acne, which he tries to treat with a variety of approaches (most are probably more harmful than helpful) without much success. I recently found a treatment that works very well for me, and I'd like to offer a tactful suggestion that my SO start the same treatment.
My SO doesn't seem too sensitive about the topic, but my own experience with acne makes it hard for me to talk about this stuff calmly and casually. I'm afraid that if I present this in a poor manner, my SO will become defensive and reject the idea for some contrived reason.
TL;DR: | My SO uses an acne treatment that does *not* work. Can somebody suggest a way for me to casually bring up the topic and tactfully suggest he try my treatment instead? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [18 M] in 1st serious relationship with [19 F] and feel scared after reading this reddit
POST: Hello and thanks everyone for any advice. This girl and I have been in a exclusive relationship for 5 months and I couldn't be happier. Any other relationship I've had only usually last a month or so and never saw anything in them. I trust her with anything and she trust's me as well.
She even says she couldn't see her life without me and could see me as the one and honestly I could see it too. I know what your thinking that's its probably a little too bit early to be thinking that and usually I would agree, but I've lived the single life and there's nothing there for me I haven't experienced I liked. Its usually just random hookups or drinking with friends and she agrees with me as well. Were more of chill home, cuddle, and watch Netflix. We don't usually like partying that much or clubbing.
I want to actually connect with someone. However whenever I come on this sub reddit all I see is usually stories of people who have been together for like 2 to 5 years and figuring out their SO cheated on them or the love is gone. I don't want to be like those stories. I've had 3 of the past relationships end cause they cheated on me and the same has happen to her, so I like to believe she wouldn't do it to me, but when I see how all these people who believe they found the "one", but ends up getting hurt it scares me that would happen to me. So please tell me what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | The sub reddit causes me to feel a little bit of doubt that some how my relationship won't work. Due to seeing all these good relationships end due to cheating or love is gone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (24F) am getting married next week. My bridesmaids are all much prettier than me, and it's getting me down
POST: It's such a pathetic problem. I just want to know if anyone's been here before.
My bridesmaids are my younger sister (19F), younger cousin (20F), college friend (24F), former roomie (22F) and fiance's sister (21F). I chose them for no other reason than that they're important to me and that they're all wonderful women. My younger sister is my maid of honor and is going to kill it with the speech. She also helped plan my whole wedding.
They're all prettier than me, in different ways. They all look very different but are all just really stunning women. My sister picked out red dresses, since that seems to flatter all their various skin tones.
I...not so much. I'm not pretty. I'm not a troll but I'm very average, even in my wedding sari (it's a really simple one anyway).
I'm just not looking forward to the event as much lately. I'd never want my bridesmaids to be anything but who they are, but I just wish I could measure up. The bride is supposed to stand out and glow, right? I don't.
TL;DR: | Starting to feel really bummed and depressed about my much prettier bridesmaids. Pictures are going to suck. How do I get over this funk? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my friend [22 M] is his dad doing something illegal? Or is this a legit business?
POST: So my friend texted me today to tell me this crazy story about his dad.
He asks if I know his dad and uncle sell things whole sale, which I didn't know, so he goes on to tell me that his dad and uncle pay flat fees for trucks carrying returns for various businesses like Amazon, Groupon, Home depot. And apparently this truck had a bunch of expensive luxury items on it that they only paid a small fee for? To me this sounds wildly illegal, but maybe this is a thing that people don't know about? Has anyone heard of this? I'm afraid my friend is going to sell these things online and that they weren't legally obtained and he could get in trouble.
TL;DR: | Friend's dad pays low flat fee for trucks full of "returns" from big box stores, worried his family might be into something illegal and he's getting sucked in. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [25] and I [20 F] got into an argument, but I have question about physical responses from anger.
POST: Hi Reddit - My boyfriend [25] and I [20F] have been dating for a little over a year and we recently got into an argument. There have been factors limiting the time I get to spend with him and that has been the bain of our relationship. I only see him 1-2 times a week for a few hours. The blame falls on my shoulders because I don't communicate with him on a regular basis and the limitations (work, parental disapproval) are on my side of the relationship. Sorry if the description is vague, but my question concerns anger reactions.
My boyfriend has been very patient while I try to figure out ways to spend more time with him. However, during this last argument he was at his wits end. He was very angry and he went into the hall and started punching/slamming the walls. I didn't see him do it because I was sitting on a couch in another room. This was the first time this happened and I was stunned and scared. Our other arguments didn't escalate to this point. I guess my question is.. is it a common physical anger reaction? I'm wondering this because my ex used to punch walls when he was angry too, although he did it infront of me. I don't believe my boyfriend would physically harm me.
I'm asking all this because I don't know if I should just let this go or if I should talk to my boyfriend about it. I understand that we all deal with anger differently. I don't know if I'm overreacting, so please let me know if I am.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend [25] and girlfriend [20] got into an argument and boyfriend started punching walls and it scared girlfriend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Downplaying looks has me frustrated
POST: 27/m with g/f roughly the same age and been dating more than a year. She's a sweetheart and very beautiful, but she has self-image issues and constantly downplays her looks. She's always (half-jokingly) calling herself ugly or yucky. At first it was cute, but now I find it annoying. She has beautiful features but rarely wears makeup or does her hair. She's been a little overweight since I before met her and for the most part, she wears baggy, unflattering clothing. She also doesn't seem to make any conscious effort to eat very healthy or exercise at all. I've made an effort to go to the gym regularly and eat a bit healthier lately and asked her to join me, but let's just say that did not go over very well at all.
I've seen pictures of her from a few years ago and she looked great, but I think she gained some weight as a coping mechanism from a bad previous relationship. I've tried my best to compliment her honestly whenever I can, but she always blows them off.
Anyway, I've been getting increasingly frustrated lately with what I would call a lack of visual stimulation in our relationship. I've mentioned numerous times that men (me included) are visual creatures and I would appreciate an effort to sexy herself up every once in a while (tight clothing, showing some cleavage, prettying herself up, etc). Our sex life has been pretty good, but has tailed off recently. I don't have a problem with her wanting to be comfortable. But feeling her up through some loose t-shirts every time just isn't working for me anymore. Help me, reddit. I have no idea how to bring this up to her without getting another negative reaction. I try to give her positive re-enforcement about her looks as much as I can, but it's getting difficult.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend doesn't ever try to look or act sexy, got angry when suggesting she join me in eating healthier and going to the gym. Doesn't accept compliments about her appearance. Finding myself less attracted physically as a result. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Several of my friends at university are on track to have jobs at graduation or go to high level professional schools. What's your excuse, 99% people in college?
POST: One is going to UNC pharm school, another will attend Hopkins medical school, one has a job in his field (statistics) practically in the bag after graduating. Yesterday, my friend got offered a job in I-banking and will make 6 figures out of college.
I want to know, why is it that most of you cannot realize that if you are good at what you do, or show yourself to be in the upper echelon of students, you can get a great job and be wildly successful.
Did any of you ever stop to think about how if you stopped complaining, took some classes that teach useful analytical skills (calculus, finance, organic chemistry e.g.) and did well in them, and made friends with professors and people at employer conventions at your school, you would have a great chance of being successful and having everything you want?
It seems like the self esteem generation is finally getting the message, "Most of you are losers out of your own fault, and losers have never been successful," and they are in denial for the most part.
I do realize there are extenuating circumstances (no college, although national merit scholars are offered boatloads of money, especially if they are low SES), but for the most part you all seem to be victims of your own mediocrity.
TL;DR: | Most college grads who can't get jobs have no foresight or are just plain mediocre with no skills of any value. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my SO [20 F] of 2 years, I don't know what to do for our anniversary.
POST: Heather and I have been together for 2 years now (we just recently celebrated the date); however, we didn't do anything special because of finals-- just not practical. We are actually celebrating our anniversary in a few days but I am not quite sure what to do. All I know is that I want it to be on the beach/related to the beach. I live within an hour of the Jersey Shore if that helps.
I was thinking something exciting like waverunning or water skiing; however, she hates the water this time of year because it is too cold for her. I thought of parasailing but the companies don't start until late may. I know I can take her on a beach picnic and serenade her so that is already in the "itinerary". However, I don't know what to do for the rest of the day. I love the idea of Philly/NYC but it really would be too much to do the beach and one of the cities. Any advice, reddit?
TL;DR: | I want to involve the beach in my anniversary plans but I need help in finding cool ideas to give us both a great day. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Should I become a software engineer?
POST: Let's see if I can explain myself concisely here.
I already have a masters in Aerospace Engineering. All the jobs, though, are either doing fascinating usually-to-always **classified** work (I loathe being in that type of environment) or uninteresting paper-pushing jobs. In my opinion I overspecialized and leaped before I looked.
Also, I find that I have nothing in common with my coworkers. I LOVE to code, I love problem solving, I love learning. Most of them look at me like I'm a lunatic by stating that my work is more than a means of income-generation to me.
* I can already program at a non-software developer level in C++ and MATLAB, and I'm currently learning Java.
* I want the flexibility of being able to choose to live in more than the three (or n-number) major areas of the country that employ my current specialty. I believe working in software development could afford me that luxury. Is this an accurate assumption?
* I have always, always wanted to learn more about software. I am rather proficient in mathematics, and I feel I would be able to employ actual problem solving in my worklife if I chose this profession as opposed to my own. How is the day-to-day of doing this type of work?
I'd love to know anything and everything about doing the actual 9-5 work of a software engineer. What is it like? What kind of personality characteristics are common to the field?
Also, I APOLOGIZE in advance for making ridiculous blanketing statements about a field I know nothing about. I recognize my ignorance, and am only going on what I observed of the other students while in engineering school.
TL;DR: | I'm 26 and an engineer in a field I don't like; what is software engineering like, and what kind of a person thrives in it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Seeking advice for me (30F) and my SO(30M) of 7 years on different ideas for managing spending in a long term relationship. Budget issues are causing me serious anxiety.
POST: I know this seems like a personal finance question, but the problem isn't making a budget, it's making sure both people stick to it.
I'm not gonna sugar coat it, we are both terrible with money. And we're lazy, which inevitably translates to living outside our means. The problem is that we want to deal with it in opposite ways: I try to put money aside for the things that I'd like or need and he wants to live it up as long as we've got the cash.
Our finances have been combined for years because at more than one point in our relationship, we were barely making ends meet. Now he is making significantly more money than previously, but as many months as not, we won't have enough $ in the bank to pay rent on the 1st (we have to wait for another paycheck).
Neither one of us holds the other accountable for their spending or foolish purchases, which makes it that much easier to excuse our own. I need a solution where it doesn't feel like only one of us can live the life we want.
Please share your stories/ideas/solutions. So many relationships crumble from money issues, but hopefully with your help we can fight through this.
TL;DR: | SO and I are poor, lazy spendthrifts. How can we fairly manage our budget without having to micromanage each other? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: One ER Visit, 11k in Costs, Insured by Employer, But No One Noted My Info, Now 11k In Debt
POST: Posted the below in /r/personalfinance and was advised to post here, as I may need to lawyer up. As I've never lawyer'ed up before, ANY guidance will be very much appreciated. Many thanks in advance.
Back in 2013, I was in a car accident. An ambulance ride and hospital trip later, there was a bill totaling $13,000. I remember giving the EMTs and nurse my information (ID, updated address, and medical card). I was insured with my employer's health benefits at the time. During those months, I was dealing with all this + my mom's death and did not have a good tracking method of everything that was going on (not an excuse, just a confession of being unorganized).
Now, I just received a letter from a collection agency for the ambulance ride to the updated address I'm currently at--I just took care of that. I couldn't find anything about the ER stay, so I went to the hospital and saw the balance of $11 which is now with the Department of Revenue.
I reached out the insurance company and since timely processing has passed (I'm also no longer insured by them as my company switched to a different company), they don't want to pay for it. They noted the only exception is if the address was wrong, and in which, it was. The hospital took down my outdated address from my ID, and even then, they wrote it down as "court" instead of "circle."
Even with this, the insurance company is being pretty adamant in not wanting to pay, so I just obtained an itemized statement with the incorrect address to fax them and have not heard back. With the 11k balance in my face, I'm scared and don't know what the next steps would be. Anyone ever have to deal with health insurance companies and/or Department of Revenue? Please help/advise.
TL;DR: | 11k balance for an ER stay, now passed timely processing for health insurance company, they don't want to pay, the bill is with the department of revenue |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what can you tell me about women's sports and ribbons in hair?
POST: First, I'd like to apologize if this is supposed to be on the "downlow".
I work with 6 people, 6 of us are male and we have one female on our "team". Yesterday, during some downtime at work, my co-workers and I were watching the Olympic Trials, and we happened upon Team USA and the Netherlands playing softball. One of my co-workers, who is female and homosexual (this is relevent), used to play softball in high school and college and couldn't have been happier that we were watching the game. After about 15 minutes, she asked if we wanted to know a "secret" about softball. Intrigued and confused we said yes, to which she explained that **if a woman playing softball has a ribbon in her hair she is declaring she is straight and if she isn't wearing a ribbon in her hair it is almost certainly a declaration of being gay.** She told us this is not just something that happened at her schools, but that it is univrsal throughout the country for women's softball. She was unsure if this was universal throughout the world. Naturally, we spent a good 90 minutes trying to determine who on Team USA had ribbons in their hair.
It was shocking to hear. So, I need the collective knowledge of Reddit to answer some questions we came up with:
-- Can anyone confirm that this is indeed an unspoken rule or practice? If so, is it just an USA thing or do other countries have this practice?
-- What about if you're bisexual, do you wear a ribbon or nothing or something else?
-- Do other sports, women's and men's, have such practices amongst them? If so, which and what (if you're willing to share, of course)?
Your answers would be greatly appreciated!
TL;DR: | It was mentioned at work that women in softball use ribbons as a means to signify sexual orientation -- how true is this? Does it apply to other sports? Men's sports? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I am genuinely confused by this girl. What would you do in my situation?
POST: She's 21 and I'm 19[M]. I've wanted to date her for as long as I can remember, but stopped myself from ever asking her out because she's had a boyfriend for most of the time I've known her.
She's always treated me differently than a casual "buddy" would.. She compliments my looks all the time, plays with my hair and touches me for no reason, snuggles close to me on the couch, calls me pet names, says "I love you" etc..
She says things like "never leave me" and tells me that I'm hers, as if we we're dating.. From every indication, it seemed like she wanted to date me.
A couple months ago, she got into a relationship with a new guy, after breaking up with her boyfriend of 4 years. I told her how I felt about her and she said that she'd been really into me for a while, but "put it in the back of her head", thinking I only liked her as a friend.
A couple weeks ago, she broke up with her newest boyfriend. Since she already knew how I felt about her and knowing how much I wanted to be with her, I finally asked her out. She told me that I didn't want to be with her because she ruins relationships.. She said that she only fucks things up and that the last person she wants to make miserable is me.
Now, she has a new boyfriend. I just don't understand why she would make it seem like she wanted to be with me when clearly, she had no intention of doing so. Please help me understand this situation.
TL;DR: | She makes it seem like she wants to be with me. I ask her out. She says I don't want her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] wants to know how to make sure a guy is interested in more than just hook ups? If he's interested in something serious?
POST: Me 24f dated a guy 26 m for a month a bit more, went only on one date, other dates didnt happen because of me and him. Lots of nonsene happened and lots of conversations has been said. Ive rejected his dates accusing him of being someone who is not serious enough (indirectly of-course). Anyway he barely texts or calls. But he keeps mentioning that he wants me in his life. That he is interested in me. And that it is me who doesnt know what she wants. He has a very successful career at 26 he owns his own company. It takes most of his time. And its his numb 1 priority. I get that i understand it. Yet i cant explain why he doesnt text me. I mean I understand that he is busy. But if someone is on ur mind u'd text/ call him/her no?
It's weird he's blaming me for not being together i'm just lost of what his intensions might be. I do not want any hook ups or gaming sort of relationship.
To add spice to the plate, one of his friends a close one i suppose. Who had me for a longtime on facebook, is texting me and hinting that he wants us to date, he asked for my number i refused to give it out.
I told guy numb 1 that guy numb 2 is texting me he teplied with a simple: haha he my bro. So i have no idea if they talked. If they're trying to play me both. I have so mang scenarios in my head it's so funny.
Tbh i kind of like guy numb 1. I just need to know what his intentions are, what is going on with his friend, on his mind?
Any hints?
TL;DR: | dating this guy, not sure about his intensions, his friends gets on the line he likes me too. What to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 M] don't know how to deal with my girlfriend's (of 4 months) [21 F] "gay"-like best-friend taking a lot of her attention when we go out together.
POST: My girlfriend and her friend [ 22 M] are very close. Brother/sister close. "Gay best friend" close. (I hate to use the term because he is not gay, but its the only way to describe it) Messaging nearly very day. Phone calls. Gossiping. But from her perspective purely platonic. And I don't mind at all. They are best friends.
**This is where I need advice/help**
The two of them always used to always "pal around" together on nights out before me and her got together. This is starting to creep into our nights now when we are out drinking or clubbing together.
He is with her a lot. It feels like he is almost competing for her attention with me. (Competing is a strong word but you can understand what I mean). I like to think I m an easy going guy and I don't mind it that much. They are friends. I don't see him as a threat to our relationship. And she wants to talk to him.
But recently it has been difficult to take.
My intention of going out is to spend time with her and have a good time with her. But when she completely is focused on other things, it can be difficult. I have said it to her before that I felt ignored a few nights in the past.
But I don't want to tell her what to do. I don't want to tell the friend what to do. (I am good friends with him...this is how I met her) I don't want to be "possessive". I don't want to impact their relationship for my own selfish reasons. I want her to be happy (and him). I want her to talk to her friends and to talk to me because she wants to.
I just want some advice about how to deal with it. Just some guidance on how to approach the "gay best friend" type situation from people who may have experienced this before (or from anyone!).
TL;DR: | Our mutual friend is taking up **a lot** of her attention when we go out on nights together. Need some advice on how to approach the "gay best friend" type situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I think I'm [22/F] acting too much like I'm entitled to my [25/M] partner of 6 months
POST: I've known him for way longer, but I moved in 2 months ago, and our relationship has been pretty rock solid since. He helped me to gain confidence in myself and my appearance after a long time of feeling like shit about my body. And honestly, if it weren't for me, I don't think there'd be any problems in this relationship.
More recently, my boyfriend has been a little sex repulsed, his body's been really weird and hormonal so he just can't get into the mood at all. I'm raring at the same speed I used to though, and it really made me feel insecure about how much I try to engage him sexually. It seems like every other kiss I'm trying to get his pants off, or sticking my hand down them. I never noticed it before because beforehand, we would just fuck, but now he just gives me looks and I feel awful because it's the third time I've done it in an hour.
I had never even realized I was this incorrigible. I've actually brought this up and apologized to him, but he said "it's fine" and "if I wasn't feeling so weird I'd be all for it" but I still feel kind of off about it. Am I objectifying my boyfriend too much? Am I acting too entitled to his body?
TL;DR: | boyfriend is sex repulsed, I realized how much I try to initiate sex, I feel manipulative and entitled, is this a natural response? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] with my [22 M] boyfriend of 1.5 years am annoyed by how much time he spends with his female friend [21F]
POST: My boyfriend has many friends including female friends. I'm okay with all of them expect for one. One of his friends, let's call her Janet, has been passively aggressively rude to me since the moment I met her. She'll humble brag constantly about having gone to a better school than me, about how she makes more money than me, about how's she's so skinny. I try being nice to her because she's good friends with my boyfriend but it's just so hard. She's not pleasant to be around. She has a high pitched fake little girl voice that a lot of women have that just makes her seem so not genuine.
My boyfriend introduced me to Janet 6 months into our relationship because she had moved back to town. At first the three of us would hang out together. But lately they've been starting to spend a lot of time together without including me, or they'll invite me after they've already made plans...as an after thought. I'm okay with my boyfriend wanting to spend time with his friends not always with me. That's healthy and normal, but I do not trust this girl. She has hooked up with multiple guys in my boyfriend's group of friends while drunk in the past. I just don't feel comfortable with them going out together without me, and I don't know how to handle this.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend has a female friend who he spends a lot of time with, without me. Am I crazy for being upset or is it normal for a "taken" guy to have single lady friends? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with my SO [21 M/F] of 2 years, and I've been thinking about cheating. This is so confusing.
POST: I started dating my SO 2 years ago when I started college. We got along great, and I was really into him, and ended up giving him my virginity pretty early on. He was the first and only guy I've been with.
The summer after we started dating, we started having problems. He was absolutely terrible at communicating, and was flirting with other girls. I was really lonely and started an emotional relationship with someone else. My boyfriend never found out about this, but I was seeking emotional fulfillment when he wouldn't give it to me.
Eventually, we moved in together and the communication issues stopped. My boyfriend is caring, affectionate and I'm incredibly attracted to him. I'm in love with him and he is with me.
Now though, I'm starting to feel different. I had to move for work, and have been considering pursuing another physical relationship. I don't know what to do because I love my boyfriend so much, but I've only ever been with him. He's been with a LOT of other girls and that's always bothered me. I know I would feel so guilty if I went through with it, but it's been in the back of my mind for a while now. I'm not asking if I should cheat on my boyfriend. I know that it's wrong, and I wouldn't want to hurt him. But should I tell him how I feel or should I just keep it bottled up? Would breaking up be better for both of us?
TL;DR: | I'm in love with my boyfriend, but I've been having thoughts about stirring up an old flame because I've never had sex with anyone else. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it possible for me [23 M] to get my best friend back [22F] after we dated for 2.5 years, 4 years ago?
POST: Okay just to summarize, my ex-gf "Elise" and I were best friends for about 5 years before we dated which would be through all of high school. We would do everything together, text a lot and in general have a great time. I did not like her as anything more until my senior year when we finally realized that we were a great pair and that we should try being something more. We then dated for 2.5 years and had one of the best relationships of my life. I won't go into detail because I think it's irrelevant for this post but when we went to separate colleges we began to grow apart and finally broke up. We got back together for a few months afterwards but eventually broke up for good. About six months later (with no contact) I asked if we could still be friends because I missed her friendship and genuinely wanted to be her friend again. She told me that she did not want to talk anymore. I didn't press the issue and to this day I regret it because I really miss her friendship.
Now, I have a wonderful relationship and I'm planning on proposing to my current gf very soon.
The thing is, I don't really have a best friend and I have never really let anyone take the position. Is this odd or is it that as we get older we don't generally do that sort of stuff?
I want her as a friend again and I am basically asking your guys' opinion whether I should just let it go and abandon all hope (even though I have very little in the first place) or what I should do.
I appreciate your responses in advance.
TL;DR: | my ex gf/ex best friend and I haven't spoken in 4 years and I really miss her FRIENDSHIP and want nothing more than that. Is there anything I can do or is all hope lost? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [30f] brother [45m] that was given up for adoption wants to meet with us siblings, but not our mom.
POST: My mom got pregnant and had a baby with my father when she was 16. This was back in the 60s, she was sent away to a home for unwed mothers then forced to give her baby up for adoption. She and my father ended up marrying a few years later and went on to have 5 more children.
My mother is a very strong woman that has endured a LOT. But the one thing she's never been able to get passed is being forced to give up her first baby.
My siblings and I have all met this older brother, but my mom has not. At one point about 20 years ago he and my parents got in contact and would call/send mail pretty regularly but apparently it got to be too much for my brother to handle so he cut contact. He got in touch with my siblings and I about 10 years ago and we all met up and got together. He made it clear he didn't want to meet my mother so she didn't come. Later she admitted to us that it was one of the hardest nights of her life and she spent several hours crying.
Since then she has said that she regretted that she didn't just show up uninvited. She's also said that if we ever see him again she WILL show up. Now, he's contacted my older sister and told her that he wants us siblings to all get together again.
Now we don't now what to do. I know at least my sister and I won't meet up with him behind our mothers back. But do we tell him what our mom said and risk not seeing him, and not giving her the chance to ever meet him? Or do we agree to meet him, say nothing and let our mom come unannounced? I'd like to ask him if he would be ok with it but I'm afraid he would say no and not only would we not get to see him again but my mom never in her life get the chance to meet him. I have a son myself and I can't even begin to imagine being forced to give him up and never again see him in my life.
TL;DR: | Mom was forced to give my oldest brother up for adoption. He has said he doesn't want to meet our mother in the past but she's desperate to meet him. Now he wants to meet up with us siblings. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24, F] ex [24, M] recently contacted me and now I can't stop thinking about him. I have a bf [25, M, 23 months]
POST: Oh boy, where to begin.
I met this ex 3 years ago on study exchange in Scandinavia. We met randomly at a party, started to hang out and were dating not two weeks later. Our relationship was really intense, but going really well, until the age old problem of exchange student dating reared its ugly head: I was going to leave the country.
We decided to break up (or, more correctly, he decided to break up). We didn't see each other for 8 months, but kept contact, updating each other on our lives but also saying how we missed and still loved each other.
I went back to the country after those 8 months for a summer job. We were really happy to see each other again, and for a while all was well and it was just like before. However, things escalated. My guess is it was because it became really intense again but we were still faced with the difficulties of being together, being from different countries and all.
I did something I am really not proud of when I was drunk and he ended up saying he never wanted to see me again. He apologised later, saying he didn't mean it, but it was a hard lesson for me about my own behavior, I was embarrassed and realised we shouldn't see each other for a while.
Fast forward two years to today, we never saw each other again.
I am now in a relationship of nearly two years with another guy (I met him shortly after I last saw my ex). The relationship is mostly good, but lately we are in a rut and things aren't optimal. We had a talk about breaking up, but decided we would give things another try.
Imagine my surprise when the Ex suddenly contacts me on Facebook. He said he had been thinking about me, started reminiscing about the good old times and ended with telling me he missed me.
Ever since, I cannot get him out of my head. I am turning here for a new perspective on things, remarks, advise, tips, whatever. I think I am starting to convince myself I am actually missing my ex...
TL;DR: | Ex contacted me after two years of radio silence. Current relationship is not doing so well, and now I am really confused. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by washing my car and building a shed.
POST: I've been wanting to wash my car for a while now but i work full time and only have off on the weekends. So today i decided to wash my car. then after i was done i was standing on the walk in front of my house rinsing out my sponge. The walk was getting a bit hot so i thought, i'll just step into my nice cool, soft lawn. I have no idea what i stepped on but it hurt like a motherfucker, and i proceeded to announce it to the whole neighborhood.
I just figured i stepped on a sharp rock because i have a gravel driveway. After a few moments it stopped hurting so i didn't think any of and proceeded to walk around in my muddy gravel driveway. It wasn't until a couple hours ago when it started to hurt, but i figured it may just be my sock sitting funny in my boot. Took my boot off and found out there is a giant hole in my foot.
This reminds me of something that happened when i was around 6, and my father was building a big shed in the back yard. I was helping him tear down the old shed and i saw him stepping on the head of a nail to push it into the wood the rest of the way. I wanted to help and do this too, so i found a piece of wood with a nail sticking out and stepped on the fucker. Forgot the most important part though, and stepped on the pointy part of the nail like a dumbass. It went straight through the sneaker and into my foot.
TL;DR: | luckily i have a bone in my foot or i would have two holes in the top of my foot too, instead of just two of the bottom. |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: not a bridesmaid, but dress I want to wear to sister's wedding is technically a bridesmaid's dress...is that OK?
POST: Sorry if this is not OK to ask here but I figured you guys would be the ones to ask about acceptable attire for a wedding. And obviously the best solution is for me to ask my sister, duh, but we don't get along and I'd really rather not.
I've been having a really hard time finding a dress to wear to my sister's wedding and have looked in loads of stores and online to no avail. Yesterday I went into a bridesmaid dress store and looked at Lula Kate dresses ( You can choose and mix-and-match bodices, waistlines, skirts, fabrics, and colors. The one I'd get would have a v-neck, thick natural waist band, and full short skirt, and I like this shade of green (
I'm worried that it will look like I'm trying to be a bridesmaid and be tacky/faux pas
TL;DR: | is wearing a solid color polyester/silk dress at a wedding a bad idea if I'm not a bridesmaid? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26F] with my boyfriend [35 M] duration ~3 months, having insecurity issues with his relationship with his ex-wife. Unsure how to broach the subject.
POST: I met Joe (fake name) this past June and he really is a wonderful guy. We became exclusive mid July. I was hesitant at first to be in a relationship with him as he is older, divorced and has two (lovely) children. I have still not met his children, and will not until we are at least 6 months into our relationship. I am completely understanding of this; I believe this is a smart idea.
Now Joe is a truly wonderful guy. He is handsome, caring, funny, loving. Just an all around amazing person. I feel so comfortable and happy when I am with him. Now, when we first started dating he made me aware that he and his ex still have occasional dinners/outings together as a family...for the kids. He has done this several times without it bothering me at all. I think it is absolutely wonderful that they can still be friends and get along well.
I guess I am starting to become annoyed/insecure because they went to see the show Marvel and have gone to Edventure together as a family. Now, the ex seems like a great person too.
He has the kiddos every other weekend and each Wednesday. He also takes the girl to school every morning and picks her up and watches her till 7pm on the weeknights. I have been completely okay with waiting to see him when he is available. Of course I wish I could spend more time with him, but the kids should come first.
I guess my question is am I right to be frustrated with this situation. I feel almost like they (Joe and his ex) get to both have a bachelor lifestyle, but also get to play happy family. I want his children to be first in his life, I am 100% okay with this. But how can I compare to their happy lives when they still do stuff together…it seems quite regularly? I don't want to come off as a bad person for even bringing this up, but I can't help that it bothers me.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend still regularly has family outings with his ex and children. I wonder if I am just a fill in for spare time... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 F] with my aunt [late 40's F] who insists on attacking my religious differences
POST: Hi everyone. I've been having a bit of an ongoing problem for a while, but now it's gotten to a point that it needs to be dealt with once and for all. My dad's side of the family is extremely religious, while I have identified as an atheist for about ten years now. I went to church with them until about two years ago just to keep the peace (as well as generally just finding religious texts interesting).
When I went off to college, it was very relieving and I felt less restricted by what I could or could not say, including online. I joined the LGBT club at my school and my most recent problem stems from sharing pro-LGBT articles after the recent North Carolina bill. My aunt took offense to such things and messaged me with a bit of hostility that I have forgotten the foundations of our country, and proceeded to guilt me for forgetting the bible and that Christ is my savior. She ends with interrogations on if I have forgotten all of this and, essentially, what happened to make me steer into evil.
The last time this happened, it was a bit less forward and I was able to get away with saying that I respect her beliefs and don't look down upon them, but I disagreed on the particular issue we were discussing. Now, I feel that something more severe needs to be said to cut off this behavior, but I don't want to create unnecessary hostility in my family.
All I really want is to stop feeling attacked. My grandmother sends me cards with bible verses and handwritten notes regularly. I'm fine with that. I'm perfectly fine with them being religious and am certainly not trying to dissuade them from that. I just want to know what to say to politely ask for her respect in the matter. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know.
TL;DR: | Aunt knows I'm not religious; seems to think guilting and insulting me will convert me. Want to politely ask her to stop doing this, but know it'll be hard in such a tension-fueled situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: SO[F21] kissed someone after our breakup, we are back together but I [M22] have a couple of questions.
POST: Together for 2 years. I hate the word 'break' but that is basically what happened. We broke up for 2 or 3ish months, mostly due to the fact that we were both depressed and in a downward spiral and had to get our own shit sorted. There was no fall-out, just a lot of silence between us for a couple of months. The breakup is not the point of this post.
So as I stated my now no longer ex-girlfriend kissed a guy during our break, something which I have no problems with. We were broken up. She had every right to. However the following problem arises:
HOLY SHIT I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS ABOUT WORLD OF FUCKING WARCRAFT. We both play WoW casually, she a bit more than me. She met this guy in the guild that we both used to be in. However, since the 'incident' she is still in the same guild. I have not logged in on my own character for weeks because I feel there is an awkard situation and don't want to be confronted with the guy (there is no resentment though).
Since we have mostly gotten our shit together and both happy to be back together, is it reasonable for me to expect her to cut contact with this guy, which inevitably means she will have to leave that realm/guild (I'd happily pay for the transfer)? There is no trust issue, I just don't feel comfortable.
TL;DR: | SO kisses guy from WoW guild during breakup, which is fine, but I would prefer that she break contact / leave guild. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: Should I get my cat an x-ray?
POST: I have a new kitty and the little bugger loves to sprint around like a lunatic and frequently runs directly underfoot. Well, today the worst thing happened: I stepped on the poor guy.
I had shoes on and landed on his back leg. Nothing seems disjointed and I don't see any major swelling, but I heard a crack, he gave quite a yelp and he's definitely favouring it and being really clingy. He's limping, but walking on it and remains playful.
Not sure if I'm overreacting as I've heard that kind of pop from a sprain in my own body before.
TL;DR: | I stepped on my cat by accident, heard a crack in his leg, but he's walking (limping) on it. Should I get an x-ray? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I just got rejected by a girl after she flaked through several dates. I'm a lot more upset than I thought I would be =/
POST: I met this girl on Tinder, we talked for some time and I thought she was nice, and pretty. To be honest I'm quite nerdy and she seemed "normal." I could never really get along with girls like that, so I didn't expect much.
After a month of broken dates I really never expected to see her. But she kept on asking to "reschedule." So I said sure, we can reschedule.
I check in this week to send her a message, and she's gone from my list. I believe that means I've been blocked.
So, now I'm upset. This is just like what happened to me all through college, getting strung along with girls who just can't be honest about their feelings. She doesn't want to date me? She doesn't KNOW me. We haven't even met! But she can make this judgment that I'm not good enough regardless.
I just think it's so damn rude. I will always let a girl know if I'm not interested in her, and I will NEVER simply cut off communication, I've gotten this treatment far too many times to be so cruel. Fake numbers, no responses, no feedback... it's been years since the last time. I thought this wouldn't bother me so much anymore.
Here's where the story necessitates a throwaway. I looked her up. I knew enough about her from our discussions that I found her facebook and email address. So now I want to basically send an angry e-mail telling her off. Which is incredibly stalker-y and inappropriate, I know. By doing this I'm not respecting her right to make a choice.
But I'm upset. I feel like if I could just write the perfect email, she'd realize she was rude and maybe the next guy she meets, she'll be honest. This is obviously a ridiculous fancy.
I'm hoping by blowing off steam in this topic, I can get some perspective and maybe not do something dumb.
TL;DR: | I got rejected by a girl who just cut off communication. I respect her decision, but not her method. I want to send her an email saying that's not cool. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I let my girlfriend know that I want to spend time with my friends without her?
POST: My girlfriend quit smoking weed, as well as all other drug use about a week before we started dating. I've been very supportive of this as I don't smoke or drink often, if at all. When she quit smoking she realized that she couldn't see her old friends as much because they smoked so she joined with my friend group, and it's worked very well. I love spending time with her, both with my friends and alone. I've seen her for the past five days straight though because when I tell her my plans I feel rude not inviting her since she's essentially part of the group of friends I spend time with. I just want a little time with my guy friends without her, but I don't know how to tell her. Most importantly, she doesn't have any other friends outside of our now shared group so I'd feel bad leaving her to stay at home without anything to do.
Ages: 18m with 17f
Relationship: 3 Months
TL;DR: | Girlfriend lost her old friends, joined my group, I see her too much and don't know how to tell her |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by making dinner and falling asleep.
POST: Well, last night to be exact. I was sitting on my couch, watching my fantasy football score stagnate. I had a few Sunday evening drinks and decided to make dinner. I selected the finest frozen Bertolli® Chicken Margherita dinner and set the stove to medium high. I then promptly fell asleep.
I awoke to a group of firemen who had forcibly entered my apartment through use of a crowbar. To say I was somewhat startled would be putting it mildly. They grabbed me and took me into the hallway, where they asked me several questions and I explained what happened in my still half-asleep state. Needless to say, my dinner was ruined and I'm still hungry.
I live in a 13 story condominium complex and I'm pretty sure I ruined everyone's night on at least my floor. I anticipate the smokey smell lingering for many days to come. I will have to buy a new door, door jamb, and fix the wall surrounding the door jamb; as well as pay to have the smoke smell removed. Fortunately, no one was harmed in the event, though my level of embarrassment is at it's highest point.
TL;DR: | Passed out with food on the stove. Woke up to firemen in my apartment. Now the whole floor smells like smoke. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Fuck you, travelocity
POST: So a little bit of background story, me and my family were planning on traveling to Europe for Christmas and bought tickets through travelocity, and had been planning this trip for months. I was so excited. I hadn't traveled or seen my brother in a while. We called travelocity the other day and had them clear up an issue with my passport, which expires in several months and for those who don't know, the EU now has laws against traveling with a passport that expires within 6 months, which mine does.
So we get to the airport today and get told that apparently the airline cannot do anything against EU laws, and travelocity talked to the wrong one about the issue, giving us the wrong information. We spent an hour sitting on a bench outside the airport absolutely livid at the fact that my dad and I have to spend Christmas at home while my mom goes to Barcelona to be with my brother so he isn't alone.
Not expecting too much of a response to this, just needed to write it down and vent. So fuck you travelocity, for splitting up my family for the holidays, and taking away the thing I've looked forward to all semester.
TL;DR: | Travelocity fucks up by selling us tickets and instructing us we are fine to travel, when we actually aren't, which ends up splitting up my family for the holiday |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I'm in dire need of your help. My ex-gf called me yesterday to tell me she was molested over the weekend. What in the world am I supposed to do?
POST: So I'm on vacation with my family, and my ex-girlfriend (been apart for around 3 months) calls me in tears, asks if I'm alone, and tells me that she had just been in the hospital for three nights after being raped. She was at a music festival when it happened, and I still haven't asked for all the details because I was in total shock when she told me. Our conversation basically ended right when she told me, as she left me speechless.
See, we left our relationship after a bumpy period, so I have mixed feelings towards her. Of course I feel horrible for her, and what happened is awful in every way imaginable, but I don't "love" her like I used to, so I am at a loss as to what I should do. I feel like I'm obliged to do something, she hasn't even told her parents yet.
Can someone help me? I'm on vacation right now, and now I've got this on my mind, and she's expecting a call back in a few days when I'm back home. I don't even know how I should be feeling right now, and I have absolutely no idea what I'm supposed to say to her/talk about. This is where I hope the redditors of the world can help. I personally hate these types of posts, but I am at a complete loss, please help me.
TL;DR: | My ex-gf was raped over the weekend, she's only told me, she's expecting a call soon. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Landlord is a turd; how to deal with a turd?
POST: Our assistant manager (landlord) is a bitch. There is no denying it, she is abusive, has a no-can-do attitude, constantly is in a bad mood, talks in a condescending manner and just always has the meanest look on her face. It would be an obvious answer to move, but it simply isn't an option. My family lives in government funded housing development because we can't afford to pay market price.
Well so obviously it would be a natural thing to complain to the manager, right? Well the thing is from the looks of it,the manager is merely a figurehead, who makes the assistant landlord do all the work and thus, she is basically in charge. The whole apartment is in renovation right now and so I assume she's having a hell of a time processing mountains of paper work and other stuff, but it still doesn't give her the right to be so damn mean to everyone all the time. It wouldn't be a problem, but she demands that we sign a shit ton of paper work at her will and it's hard to comply since as a college kid I live way outta my way to drive back. But more so than that she's simply such an asshole to my parents who don't speak English very well and I just want to punch her in the face. I don't know reddit... how would you deal with this?
TL;DR: | = landlord is a turd, but we live in cheap housing and cant afford anything else... how do you deal with a turd? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How many doubts is too many?
POST: I (25 F) have been with my SO (34 M) for 1.5 years. We moved in together pretty quickly, and have had a successful domestic partnership for the past 9 months. He's gorgeous, loves me, and has a good job that makes good money. He always listens to my side of things, is extremely non-reactive and good natured, and one of the smartest guys I've ever met. Oh and, I also LOVE his family.
But... sometimes I just don't feel it. I don't know whether it's a lack of respect because he used to cheat on girlfriends through his 20's, something he told me early on in the relationship, or fear of his current drinking because he used to have seizures from binge drinking, something he never sought help for, but the issue dissipated a few years ago (all in the past and shouldn't effect us now, I do understand that). I'm not sure if it's because our senses of humor are a little different. He'll publicly post a picture of himself fake humping a statue and my heart will just freeze over.
It's not that I think he's a "bad" person for these things... I just don't relate to him... In these moments, I feel like I don't emotionally connect, and I lose respect for someone I want to respect more than anyone. I just want to make sure these feelings are normal in most committed relationships and if not, if they're cause to quit and date around...
I do love him, so I'm hoping I can over come, but I also don't want to waste our time if he'd be better off with someone who understands him completely. During my past 2 one-year relationships, I think I remember being more assured of things (until our jobs took us different directions). We're on the path to marriage and I don't know if I'm always 100% with it.
Thanks in advance for the perspective!
TL;DR: | I have doubts about my wonderful boyfriend, and wonder if it's all normal relationship stuff, or if doubting in itself is a red flag? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Do you count saving for short and medium-term goals towards your "save X%" rule?
POST: I've always felt like I'm not saving nearly enough, because I when I sit down and do my budget every month it seems like even getting a few hundred into long-term savings is a challenge.
But it occurred to me that if I count all the 'medium-term' (several months to a year) things I have money earmarked for I'm actually 'saving' quite a bit more each month.
I just can't figure out if I'm being overly restrictive by only counting long-term savings or if I'm deluding myself into thinking that I'm doing better than I am by counting all these medium-term things. I mean on the one hand, it *is* money that I'm not spending, but on the other hand I'd hate to realize down the line that I'm way behind because I was supposed to be saving 20% *just for retirement*.
TL;DR: | Do you count short/medium-term things in your 'save x%' rule, or is that really about long-term, retirement type savings? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17M] dating [17F] need some advice
POST: Okay, so, we've been dating for 5 months and onwards, soon it's 6 months, we've been smooth sailing through out this whole time, but i need some advice, I'm always the one going to her, hugging her and kidding her, it looks like I'm the only one putting in effort.
Am i overreacting? We talk a lot, she puts in effort into talking to me, but I'm concerned, i confronted her, and she said, shes not bothered if we dont kiss and hug, seeing my face is enough, but isn't being in a relationship about those things and showing you're putting in effort at least?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend doesn't care if we don't kiss/hug, she doesnt show shes putting in effort into us, but says she tries her best |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [39M] friend [40M] is unknowingly dating an adult performer
POST: I have a male friend (we'll call him Derek) who is a really great guy but is one of those guys who is always single and at the same time always talking about how lonely he is and how he'll never find anyone. I've worked with him a lot over the years on developing confidence and not "trying too hard" so he can be happy and find someone.
So I was delighted a three weekends ago when I was having a dinner party and he said he would be bringing a female guest that he met in his skiing club. He talked her up quite a bit and seemed excited about how much they had in common, etc.
Sidebar: I watch a lot of porn.
The night of the dinner party, the doorbell rings and here is Derek. He enters and then a woman enters behind him who he introduces. Immediately, I recognize her as a prolific adult performer/porn actress from the 90's. She wasn't high profile enough that just anyone might recognize her (like Jenna Jameson) but I can recall at least 25-30 scenes I've seen her in. I kind of made long eye contact with her after introducing myself and I got the vibe that she knew I recognized her.
I just carried on normally for the evening but after a few hours (and a few drinks) she cornered me in the kitchen and said she presumed I recognized her from her adult film career, which I confirmed. She proceeded to launch into this long explanation of how she wanted to put this behind her and made a life decision not to tell new people she met about her former life. She asked that I respect her decision and not tell Derek, also assuring me that she is totally healthy, clean, and drug free.
I have a big problem with being asked to lie via omission. It makes me feel dishonorable and I openly tell my friends not to ask me to lie for them, ever. On the other hand, I think this news will crush Derek. He's been seeing her a lot in the ensuing days and constantly raves about her and how well the relationship is going. What do I do?
TL;DR: | My friend is dating a former porn star and she asked me not to tell him. Do I tell him the truth or respect her wishes? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend (19) lied to me about having a medical condition, where should I (18, f) go from here?
POST: My boyfriend has disgusting teeth, most of them are rotting and falling apart. They really are repulsive. When we first started dating, which was around 4 months ago, he told me his teeth were so awful from some sort of genetic disorder and the only thing he could do to improve it was to get his mouth wired shut for 6 months, which he could not afford and would be too difficult to do. I stupidly believed him, and because it was a disease that he could do nothing about, looked past his gross teeth.
Well, as it turns out, he was lying. He came clean to me yesterday about his teeth, saying that he really just never took care of them (never brushed them) and that is why they are so disgusting. No "genetic disorder" in sight. Not only do I find this absolutely repulsive, I feel very violated after having him lie to me for so long and I almost question his sanity: what kind of weirdo can't take care of their teeth? Him and I have had a pretty good relationship so far, but this is just really strange to me. (I know many of you are probably thinking "wouldn't I be able to taste how disgusting he is when I kiss him?" but he would always use mouthwash or chew gum before so he always tasted like mint.)
This really has thrown me, and I'm not sure where to go from here. First of all, do I have a right to be pissed about this; am I over-reacting? Also, is this grounds enough for me to break up with him? Because this has been the one issue in our overall great relationship, would this even be worth me breaking up with him? I don't necessarily want to dump him, but this issue really concerns and confuses me. Thank you in advance for your suggestions.
TL;DR: | boyfriend has disgusting teeth, lied to me saying it was a medical disorder when in reality he just doesn't brush them. Feel very violated, disgusting, and confused, not sure where to go from here. |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Too many colors? [HELP]
POST: I'm starting to stress that things are going to look not coordinated at all.
My dress is champagne over ivory with a silver beaded belt. I'll be wearing deep purple shoes with silver detailing, a silver hair piece...
The groom is wearing a matching ivory shirt, a khaki vest, a tan tie, dark blue jeans and brown shoes.
My bridesmaids are wearing [this] dress in "bubble gum" which is a grey-purple. They'll carry gray and white chevron clutches and wear gray shoes.
The groomsmen will be wearing ties that are grey and a matching purple, with ivory button ups and grey vests, dark blue jeans and brown shoes.
The mom's are wearing matching silver and amethyst necklaces. The dads are all wearing matching purple/grey ties (a darker purple than the bridal party).
The ceiling draping will be white. The lights are soft white with white wiring. The table cloths are charcoal, a dark grey. The center pieces will be old paper (yellow'd paper/tan-ish) heart cut outs and clear glass candle holders with ivory candles.
We've got signage that will be either blonde or stained wood with gray lettering.
The flower girls will carry baskets that are wicker with detailing in 2 shades of purple with white lace trim... And they'll have these fake deep purple flower pedals to toss around.
Now... I found [these] adorable dresses for them in champagne... but now I'm worried that I shouldn't buy them because nothing else is champagne except the lace on my dress??? I don't want them in stark white/silver either, because like - nothing but the ceiling and lights will be white. Although, my jewelry is silver?
TL;DR: | Do you think those dresses will work with my shit? I'm getting closer to the wedding and starting to freak out that we're going to look like an uncoordinated mess. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: No debts but no money. Returning to school is expensive
POST: I don't know if I came in the right place, but there it is...
After graduating from "business school" I worked pretty hard for about a year in my field of study with a not so bad salary. After a year, I became bored of my job, I wanted more than just sitting 8 hours long. I finally decide to return to school, start university to become a teacher! (In my field of study) I thought this was a great idea. After all, I had some investment and free debt! What could go wrong?
Well, returning to school full-time and working part-time was harder than I thought. After a semester, I quit my job in hope to succeed in school (it wasn't my best idea) But it worked, I'm doing great at school!
To help me I get student loans but didn't get much since I had a good revenue from the previous year. (Actually, it's better than that: I don't have to pay back the loan, it's more like a scholarship)
It's been a year since I started university and all my investment is gone. (Apartment/Food/Clothes/Expensive unplanned situations)
It's really hard to keep part-time job in my field and I'm scared to ask for a summer job in it.
I thought about getting a "student's job" with minimum wage and benefit the fact that I probably could keep the job after summer even if I have a training at school. But "student's job" is not a rewarding job (bonus if you work in McDonald and bonus+ if you flip the burgers). Furthermore, a teacher doing students job seems to lose all credibility.
I will get more money from my students loans this autumn (since I didn't work at all yet) and I know it's just a gap to pass. But I know I can't rely on money that I don't have yet.
For the first time, last month I didn't pay the entire bill of my credit card. Since, I stack on my credit card what I can't pay but my limit is low and interest high.
Should I get loans from my bank?
TL;DR: | I have good credits, good grades and no debts but no money. I just don't want to fuck it up! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Freemium vs. paid
POST: So I'm developing an app I want to upload to the apple app store in a couple of weeks. The only thing is I haven't been able to settle the debate between freemium and paid in my mind. I was hoping Reddit could share it's opinions on the matter.
I do indeed want to make money off of this app, ideally it would make enough money to justify further projects, if not then I would accept it and move on. I initially planned to release it as a 99 cent app, because although nifty, its pretty trivial and doesn't exactly save lives. I was also planning to release a free version as a proof of concept to show tentative purchasers that the app would indeed perform as advertised. However as I look at the app store I'm seeing a lot of apps adopting the in-app purchase model whereby you can buy individual items a la farmville and so many other "casual" games/apps. The thing is: I don't want to be THAT guy who nickel and dimes ya and I'm not sure if this makes a lot of sense business wise. The argument for a more featured free app with in-app purchases is greater word of mouth from people who would use the app but don't exactly pay for apps in the first place. Then some users might pay for 2 or 3 packs at 99 cents each which would be a better sales proposition for me. The against is that the core feature I would be leaving in the free app is the main draw and people would decide thats enough for them. Kind of like me and Pandora.
On the other hand I could just release everything onto one 99 cents app, but risk the app not getting any traction in a crowded marketplace. I've been toying with having it free for for a limited time and then having it go paid, but I can't seem to decide on what to do.
TL;DR: | How would you price a trivial/nifty app on the app store? Also, aren't the only pirates the ones who have jailbroken their iphones? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: I need some advice
POST: I am a 23yo about to graduate from college. I currently have a position in my university's IT department as a computer lab manager. My position does not really involve much technical skill/ability, but rather just making sure people show up to their shifts on time and doing rudimentary computer repairs on macs and PCs. I am basically one of the worker bees for my boss, who is head of the Office of Information Technology (our IT dept.). I like the job a lot; I basically work whenever I want for $9/hr. However, the job is only available to students, so my time runs out mid-August this year.
Any advice on what type of positions I might be able to get after I graduate? I basically just want to make enough money to pay bills because I am involved in a lot of creative projects that I plan on pursuing. I live in a mid-sized city in the south-eastern US. Thanks!
TL;DR: | I am about to graduate. I have IT managerial experience but I have no idea what kind of job I can get within the next year. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (21, M),My Sister ( 20, F) and her Boyfriend (21, M) Controlling Her
POST: So as the title states my sister has been seeing this guy for about 3 months and I honestly have no problem with it, i know she is her own person and she need to live and learn. But she just texted me a question asking, " Is it okay to have (Boyfriend) tell me that I can't hang out with other guys." So from experience I know that question is somewhat of a red flag when having your partner tell you that.But Im not necessarily asking for advise in terms of how to handle the matter from my point of view. I would like for Reddit to tell me how you guys would handle it if you were in her shoes. Because I understand that I can't tell her what to do but I can make suggestions in order to hopefully guide her in a path that prevents bad decisions from occurring. But I'm all ears guys and/ or girls.
TL;DR: | Sister's Boyfriend is telling her not to hang around with other guys and need opinions on how Reddit would handle it if you guys were in her shoes. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [18 M] girlfriend [18 F] of 5 months is getting really close to a guy that she was crazy about
POST: Hey All,
My girlfriend and I started dating about 5 months ago now and, for the few months leading up to that, she a had HUGE crush on one of the guys that lived on my floor in our dorm. She was really, really into him and pretty much everyone who lived in my building (~125 people) knew that she was head-over-heels for him. Then, kind of out of nowhere, we started hooking up and after a month decided to start dating.
Fast forward to a couple months ago, and she is starting to become really close with the guy ("Dan"). It made me pretty uncomfortable that he was becoming one of her best friends and doing things like getting dinner where it was just the two of them (although that only happened a couple of times) when she had just wanted to date him really badly and was super into him just a couple months before then. I brought it up to her and she found it completely unreasonable that I would feel uncomfortable at all. So I've been trying to ignore everything and make myself live with it their friendship.
Today, however, one thing made me feel uncomfortable and I let her know. The two of them are going to a play soon as a trip for one of their classes, but they were only really friends with each other out of everyone in class, so I knew they'd be together all night. While we were eating dinner, my girlfriend said, "I hope Dan looks nice at the play since I'm going to be with him all night."
That statement made me feel a little uncomfortable considering she really liked this guy and was now hoping he'd look good for her. I told her that and she got really made at me, saying that she shouldn't have to deal with stuff like this and that they're just friends. I really love this girl, but I just don't know what to do at this point. I feel like my point of view is being completely disregarded in favor of her own, with no compromise being made at all. I'm starting to think about breaking off the relationship, but I'd really like to avoid doing that. Would any of you be able to help me out?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend is now best friends with a guy she was really, really into before she started dating me. She gets mad when I tell her that I'm uncomfortable with it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: is it true that "if he cheats with you he will cheat on you"?
POST: ages:25 length of relationship: known each other for 2.5 months.
I (25 F)moved into a new apartment complex about 2 months ago. Naturally I befriended some of my neighbors. My neighbor, lets call him John (25), and I instantly hit it off..there was obvious chemistry between the two of us. After a few weeks of being friends he introduced me to a couple of his friends and we all get along super well, they always tell me how much they love me. We'll John started getting more flirty with me over time but nothing too serious because he had a girlfriend at the time. But, about a week ago he kissed me. I knew he had a girlfriend and told him that nothing would happen between us until he is single. He apologized and told me he's never cheated on a girl before but he and his girlfriend have been having really bad problems for months (i've even met his girlfriend and it's obvious they are terrible together..his friends have even encouraged him to end things with her its so bad). Two days ago he broke up with his girlfriend..and then he kissed me again. REALLY kissed me. I don't know if I can trust him though. I know it sounds silly because he cheated with me...but doesnt that mean there is a good he chance he will cheat on me?
TL;DR: | Friend kissed me when he had a girlfriend. Broke up with said girlfriend and now wants to pursue relationship with me. I'm afraid he will cheat. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24, M] need help with my getting over my ex [19, F]
POST: Hey r/relationships, I need your help. No matter how hard I try, I can't get over my ex.
We dated for 6 months, but got to know each each over the course of a year and a half, those 6 months included. Contacting each other EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. over those 18 months, we grew extremely close. We've been broken up for a little over a year now, and no matter what I do, I can't get her off my mind.
I constantly think about her, and for the small amount of time throughout each day that I'm not thinking of her, I see someone or something that almost immediately reminds me of her, and the cycle continues.
I'm still in love with this girl, and I don't know what to do to get over her and stop thinking about her. I seriously need y'all's help.
TL;DR: | Still hung up over ex I'm in love with. How do you get over someone who you can't stop thinking about/get off your mind? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (19m)Becoming friends with benefits with ex(17f), good idea or bad?
POST: We are pretty much acting the same way around each other as when we were together, but we aren't committed to each other. She broke up with me because she can't emotionally handle a relationship right now, and in her own words "scared that I am someone she would want to be with for the rest of her life and she would never know what other people are like." Am I being used? She says that she is miserable without me, but she doesn't think about me as much as she used to (when we were together). She thinks about other people. It seems like she is just really scared of commitment, and it may just be her age (like a faze). She hasent had any luck hooking up with other people (they think she's too young). I don't know how to respond to her wanting to be FWB, since I don't know what is good for both of us, since I still love her. Though I have excepted that she isn't ready for a relationship.
TL;DR: | She wants to fuck and act the same way, but can't commit. Am I being used because I'm convenient and she hasn't had any luck hooking up with other people? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] feel like my fiancee [19 F] is losing feelings and doesn't care?
POST: Hello r/relationships.
So this is my first time here and I'm using a throwaway for obvious reasons.
Some background info: We have a smaller type of LDR (3 hours away by train) of 3 years (5 months engagement), which have never really caused too much of an issue as we have been working very hard to make it work even though school, work and other thing that might have come in the way. We have always been there for each-other and been supportive to ensure that everything is good for both of us.
To get to the issue, my great-grandmother have been quite bad for the past year, going back and fro to the hospital and retirement home (she was living in her own apartment at the beginning of the year). Today I found out that she was dying and I went to see her. I've been having a rather tough day and it's so hard to deal with, on top of numbing down most of my feelings as a reaction. However when it first happened all that I got as a response from my fiancee was that "that's fucking sad" and "this is fucking scary" only to not hear from her for hours. Apparently she had gone to a bar with a friend and completely ignored me for hours, only to come back and say that she "was there" only to leave again. Once she got back I did tell her exactly what I feel about the issue where as all she answered was "I'm a busy persom", which really made me question her priorities, feeling and empathy for me.
So my question is, am I overreacting or over analyzing this whole situation, or what should I do about it? This whole week and day have been crazy and I'm not sure if I'm thinking straight about it.
TL;DR: | Great-grandma is dying, fiancee only has "that's fucking sad" to say and that "she's a busy person". Is this acceptable behavior? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 M] with my... sigh, Friend [25 F] for 4 years, suddenly realized i like her a lot more than i thought i did.
POST: We met 4 years ago working together for a big company, around 9 months. After that we kept in touch and continued going to grab a beer or get something to eat, sometimes to a movie. (Always just the two of us and on a monthly basis)
I never tried anything nor she, mostly because we live far away and she/me were dating other people.
Bottom line, it's been 4 years, she has been without a boyfriend for 6 months and last friday night she invited me to go with her to a work related matter, a bar closed only to her co-workers because a friend of theirs is leaving to live in Europe. I wasn't given any opportunity to do something and if i fucked up, it would have been in front of her entire office, shitty situation for both (although, mostly for her).
Next day, when the beer effects were off, i realized i like her a lot more than i thought i did. Now i'm thinking of doing something, but here are my questions and what i think...
A) Am i too deep into the friendzone? (Definitely, most of my friends don't agree)
B) Should i just go all in or talk things out?
C) She is leaving for a 3 week trip to europe starting on February, should i just wait for her to comeback or do it right now? (Meaning next week or so)
TL;DR: | Pretty much in love with a good friend of mine, thinking of telling her how i feel or straight up do something about it. Might be too deep into friendzone and she is leaving to europe for 3 weeks / |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Really, genuinely, need advice to do with the 'psychology' of me not wanting to work
POST: I look at work (any job) as just a form of doing something you/I don't want to do, with the obvious compensation that is money.
So all these businesses - I'll use a restaurant for example - are pointless in my view. All it is is me serving people food. I don't want to serve them, I couldn't care less about the job or customer satisfaction - perhaps almost like some form of a belief in anacism, that's to say I just want to stick to myself and I can take the lose of a bit of money for that luxury (of doing nothing and not having to work).
It's hard to articulate my feelings but essentially I don't want to work for anyone or provide a service to anyone because I, to put it bluntly don't care about people in wider society - I don't want to progress any thing/work for anyone/create anything/talk to or aid anyone or thing.
I just feel like this whole notion of; working and working hard = good is 'bs'. You're just (excuse the saying) "working for the man". I don't want to contribute to someone's fararri fund, in doing so.
I don't recognise the authority of the government or policing bodies (obviously they don't care about my opinion) and also I find it hard not to look around and see a lot of plebs in everyday life pottering along with their eyes 'firmly fixed on the ground'.
I don't really have any motivation or drive to do anything with my life and I don't really know what to do because I don't really see it as a bad thing, I would obviously like a nice income. I'm young, in the UK, and don't really(ish) have any qualifications.
TL;DR: | don't like work, don't think it's good to want to work. Don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23M] am having a tough time with a temporarily LDR with my girlfriend [22F]
POST: It's a pretty simple situation honestly. My girlfriend of a little over a year left about 3 weeks ago for an excellent opportunity to do some professional work. She'll be gone for another month and a half. I know in terms of most long distance relationships, 2 months is hardly anything, but for some reason it's tough for me. The first couple weeks were completely fine for me though. I thought this whole thing would be a breeze, but it's been getting harder. It doesn't help that she hardly has any time to talk, and even when she does neither of us has too much to say. We usually have a 15-20 minute phone call every couple of days. Maybe that's fine and normal. I don't know. But this whole thing has really been weighing on me recently and I'm not sure what to do.
To add to that, there were some issues in our relationship that we weren't able to completely deal with before she left. These are things that I'm really worried may cause our relationship to end at some point in the future, like emotional unavailability on her part and a general feeling of lacking intimacy. So now I'm left thinking about a lot of those things and knowing I can't properly deal with them until she's back. It's a really shitty feeling.
I don't know if I really have a point with this post. I think I just needed somewhere to get my feelings out, and if someone feels they have some advice to help, that would be good too.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend is away for 2 months and too busy to talk with me often. That combined with unresolved relationship issues is making it tough for me to deal with and not sure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Can you help me with a moral dilemma, AskReddit?
POST: About a week ago I was at work as a chinese food delivery boy. I work in a very nice area, and have never had more than a rude customer. Anyways, I have an order and a pull up to a fairly nice house, walk to the door, ring the bell, and wait. A man who was maybe 35-40 answered the door, seeming very frantic. He was speaking quickly, and just seemed like he was in a rush. A few seconds after he opens the door I realize the whole house smells like weed. I thought it was kind of funny that this guy was high and ordering $80 worth of chinese food with no other cars in the driveway. But then I saw behind him his two kids. They were maybe 6 and 8. I didn't know what to do. I understand it's not like he was shooting heroin or smoking crack, but it just didn't seem right that he was smoking inside with his kids around, especially being so young. As far as I could tell, not even the mother was there.
Now, I didn't want to call the cops and possibly ruin this guy's, and his kids', lives, but I wanted to do *something*. Either tell him I can smell what he's doing, or tell him he should wait until his kids aren't around. Something. The kids seemed fine, maybe a little sullen, but not abused or anything so it definitely didn't warrant police intervention, but it still seemed wrong. After I left I called my mom and my best friend for advice and they both told me if the kids seemed ok not to do anything, but it's been bothering me. I admit I'm a little biased because I don't like weed, but not to the extent where I was going to report this guy. I was worried that one of his kids would get hurt and he wouldn't notice or realize how serious it was, or something like that. Should I have done something?
TL;DR: | Delivered chinese food to a house where the dad was high/smoking weed in the house with his young children (6 and 8 I would guess) and didn't do anything. Should I have? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: I recently lost one of my two kitties, and would like some advice about my surviving kitty
POST: Hey r/pets! So Saturday I suddenly lost one of my two cats and a very young age. My other cat, Cerberus, is a very intelligent kitty, I feel comfortable saying this because I'm willing to admit my other cat was a really dumb sweetheart. Anyway, it has only been a few days, but Cerbs wanders around the apartment just looking and checks out every little noise he hears. I work 8-5 and I was wondering if you any of you have found engaging puzzle toys for cats. I just feel like I need to find something to occupy his time, now that his play buddy isn't there. I try to spend a lot of time at home, and am considering getting a fish tank with some colorful little guys (obviously the fish would also be treated with the utmost care and would be a permanent addition). The Boyfriend and I are planning on moving in together in the spring and he has two large dogs that Cerberus is pretty familiar with, so I just feel like trying to add a second cat back into the mix before then is going to be a stress-mess and possibly unnecessary since one of the dogs use to play with Cerberus regularly when visiting. We are also looking into reintroducing the dogs and Cerberus slowly before we move in together.
TL;DR: | My cat died, my other cat seems depressed and bored, I have long term solutions, but right now how can I fill his time during the times when I can't be there? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [24 f] with boyfriend [25 m] for four years, and fine with not getting married... but other people can't get over it.
POST: I have been with my boyfriend for four years. It's a solid, stable, healthy relationship and he is great. We still feel like we're in the early stages of a relationship, with all the sex, giggling, playfulness to match. Basically, lots of happiness.
We're both in graduate school pursuing difficult fields that we love, and we're both rather poverty stricken. Our parents don't financially support us in any way (a lot our friends seem to have parents who do... it seems common for our very expensive city.) So we struggle by the best we can.
We don't talk about marriage much except in fantasy terms now and then, and my boyfriend has made it clear the reason he won't propose anytime soon is because he simply doesn't have the money for a ring or to support a stable lifestyle of another human being, or if we were to decide to have a kid. Also we can't afford to get married unless we were to go to a courtroom kind of ceremony, and we both fantasize about at least a decently nice wedding with our friends and family.
I am fine with it except occasionally I get paranoid about it... because every now and then, I have female friends who will say things like "No ring after four years? Wow... I wouldn't do it, but... I mean you must be really secure in your relationship to put up with that." Pretty much EVERYONE I know who has been in a relationship for longer than two years seems to get engaged right away. I know half these marriages will end in divorce (just plain fact) but sometimes I start to get nervous that, am I being "stupid" for not wanting him to marry me after such a long time together?
Basically, often acquaintances or friends will seem to suggest that he must be stringing me along for having not proposed after this long.
I'd be interested to hear if anyone else has been in longterm relationships or just has advice about how to handle comments like this, or if I should be worried at all...
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TL;DR: | Longterm boyfriend and I have no plans to get married anytime soon. Friends/acquaintances seem to say we are odd or that he's stringing me along.] |