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https://babylonbee.com/news/man-almost-certain-there-wasnt-a-nahum-last-time-he-read-the-bible | Man Almost Certain There Wasn’t A Book Of Nahum Last Time He Read The Bible | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/bernie-trying-to-decide-which-house-to-quarantine-himself-in | Bernie Trying To Decide Which House To Quarantine Himself In | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/springbreakers-arrange-scattered-corpses-to-spell-out-yolo | Spring Breakers Arrange Scattered Corpses To Spell Out YOLO | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/manna-from-heaven-toilet-paper-miraculously-appears-on-christians-lawns-each-morning | Miracle: Toilet Paper Falling From Sky Each Morning Like Manna From Heaven | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/america-tests-positive-for-socialism | Breaking: America Tests Positive For Socialism | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/authorities-warn-of-viral-spread-of-annoying-celebrity-videos | Coronavirus Miraculously Disappears After Celebrities Sing 'Imagine' | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/reformation-cartoons-and-martin-luther-insults-the-paul-cox-interview | Reformation Cartoons And Martin Luther Insults: The Paul Cox Interview | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/wifes-prayer-for-her-husband-to-watch-less-sports-results-in-global-pandemic | Wife's Prayer For Her Husband To Stop Watching Sports All The Time Results In Global Pandemic | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/government-leaders-assure-nation-theyre-working-tirelessly-to-expand-unconstitutional-powers-during-this-crisis | Congress Assures Nation They're Working Tirelessly To Figure Out How To Take Advantage Of This Crisis | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/burger-king-emails-customers-to-let-them-know-staff-will-begin-washing-their-hands-because-of-covid-19 | Burger King Sends Email Informing Customers Staff Will Now Be Required To Wash Their Hands | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/investigation-reveals-trump-caused-panic-so-he-could-go-on-all-the-rides-at-disneyland-with-no-lines | Investigation Reveals Trump Caused Mass Hysteria So He Could Go On All The Rides At Disneyland With No Lines | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/christians-relieved-they-can-still-argue-with-each-other-online-during-lockdown | Christians Thank God They Can Still Argue With Each Other Online During Quarantine | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-announces-all-delivery-drivers-will-receive-presidential-medal-of-freedom | Trump Announces All Delivery Drivers Will Receive Presidential Medal Of Freedom | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/lysol-introduces-aerosol-turret-that-automatically-blasts-anyone-who-coughs-within-six-feet-of-you | Lysol Introduces Shoulder-Mounted Turret That Automatically Blasts Anyone Who Coughs Within Six Feet Of You | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/joe-biden-is-the-best-choice-for-our-nation-says-tulsi-gabbard-as-dnc-completes-assimilation-process | 'Joe Biden Is The Best Choice For Our Nation,' Chants Tulsi Gabbard After DNC Completes Assimilation Process | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/study-shows-50-of-conservatives-would-switch-to-socialism-for-a-six-pack-of-beer-and-a-pizza | Study Shows 50% Of Conservatives Would Switch To Socialism For A Six-Pack Of Beer And A Pizza | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/church-chair-stacking-added-to-summer-olympics | Church Chair Stacking Event Added To Summer Olympics | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/communist-party-of-china-cant-believe-theyre-getting-such-great-coverage-from-the-american-media-for-free | Communist Party Of China Can't Believe They're Getting Such Great Coverage From The American Media For Free | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/nation-apologizes-for-taking-stay-at-home-parents-for-granted | Nation Apologizes For Taking Stay-At-Home Parents For Granted All These Years | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/cdc-recommends-everyone-under-quarantine-immediately-begin-watching-the-extended-editions-of-the-lord-of-the-rings | CDC Urges Those Under Quarantine To Marathon The Extended Editions Of 'The Lord Of The Rings' | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/quarantine-a-nerds-utopia | Quarantine: A Nerd's Utopia | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/professionals-work-tirelessly-to-discover-which-political-party-should-be-blamed-for-virus | Professionals Work Tirelessly To Discover Which Political Party Should Be Blamed For Virus | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-says-i-dont-want-americans-to-die-nyt-quotes-as-i-want-americans-to-die | Trump Says, 'I Don't Want Any Americans To Die', NYT Quotes As 'I... Want... Americans To Die' | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/god-breaking-quarantine-and-going-everywhere | God To Ignore Quarantine And Continue Being Everywhere | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/quarantined-christian-forced-to-read-the-bible | Christian Under Quarantine Resigns Self To Reading Bible | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/leprechauns-giving-out-toilet-paper-this-year | Leprechauns To Give Out Toilet Paper In Lieu Of Gold | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/ocasio-cortez-if-you-dont-infect-yourself-with-the-coronavirus-you-are-a-racist | Ocasio-Cortez: 'If You Don't Infect Yourself With The Coronavirus, You Are A Racist' | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/economic-crisis-averted-as-mike-bloomberg-vows-to-give-1-million-to-every-american | Economic Crisis Averted As Mike Bloomberg Vows To Give $1 Million To Every American | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-i-will-not-only-appoint-a-woman-running-mate-but-will-stand-behind-her-at-all-times | Biden: 'Not Only Will I Appoint A Woman Running Mate, But I Will Stand Behind Her At All Times' | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/italy-totally-fine-thanks-to-universal-healthcare | Italy Totally Fine Thanks To Universal Healthcare | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/duggar-family-cited-for-violating-ban-on-large-gatherings | Duggar Family Found In Violation Of Ban On Large Gatherings | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/millennials-finally-taking-coronavirus-seriously-as-avocado-toast-supplies-run-out | Millennials Finally Take Coronavirus Seriously As Avocado Toast Supplies Run Out | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/prominent-italian-doctor-suggests-throwing-pills-at-coronavirus | Prominent Italian Doctor Suggests Throwing Colored Pills At Coronavirus | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/man-glad-science-is-finally-affirming-his-natural-instinct-to-stay-as-far-away-from-other-people-as-possible | Man Glad Science Has Finally Affirmed His Natural Instinct To Stay As Far Away From Other People As Possible | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/op-ed-the-feds-really-botched-their-coronavirus-response-so-we-should-give-them-more-power | Op-Ed: The Feds Really Botched This Whole Coronavirus Thing, So We Should Give Them More Power | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/greta-thunberg-condemns-coronavirus-for-ending-world-before-climate-change-even-had-a-chance | Greta Thunberg Condemns Coronavirus For Causing Apocalypse 10 Years Early | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/quarantined-churches-switch-to-drone-delivery-for-communion-elements | Churches Switch To Remote Drone Delivery For Communion | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/nations-churches-provide-fog-machines-for-families-worshiping-at-home | Nation's Churches Provide Fog Machines For Families Worshiping At Home | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/man-who-gets-coronavirus-relived-he-can-finally-touch-his-face-all-he-wants | Man Who Gets Coronavirus Relieved He Can Finally Touch His Face All He Wants | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/bernie-we-must-seize-the-means-of-toilet-paper-production | Bernie: 'We Must Seize The Means Of Toilet Paper Production' | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/latest-numbers-on-coronavirus-100-of-world-still-under-gods-control | Latest Numbers On Coronavirus: 100% Of World Still Under God's Control | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/americans-sigh-in-relief-as-news-finally-not-all-about-trump | Americans Rejoice As News Finally Not All About Trump | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/mexican-drug-cartels-switch-to-producing-hand-sanitizer | Drug Cartels Switch To Producing Hand Sanitizer | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/the-mortal-kombat-of-abortion-ministry-the-jeff-durbin-interview | The Mortal Kombat Of Abortion Ministry: The Jeff Durbin Interview | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/cnns-ratings-collapse-to-zero-as-coronavirus-fears-empty-american-airports | CNN's Ratings Collapse As Coronavirus Fears Empty American Airports | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/no-greater-love-widow-puts-last-toilet-paper-roll-in-offering-plate | No Greater Love: Widow Puts Last Toilet Paper Roll In Offering Plate | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/parents-worried-theyll-have-to-raise-their-own-children-as-government-schools-shut-down | Parents Worried They'll Have To Raise Their Own Children As Government Schools Shut Down | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/abc-announces-new-mormon-bachelor-where-every-girl-gets-a-rose-every-time | ABC Announces New Fundamentalist Mormon Bachelor Where Every Girl Gets A Rose Every Time | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/study-finds-anti-gun-activists-were-all-horrible-at-duck-hunt | Study Finds 100% Of Anti-Gun Activists Were Horrible At ‘Duck Hunt’ | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/joe-biden-if-i-survived-the-black-plague-i-can-survive-the-coronavirus | Biden: 'I'll Survive The Coronavirus Just Like I Survived The Black Death' | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/nations-nerds-wake-up-in-utopia-where-everyone-stays-inside-sports-canceled-social-interaction-forbidden | Nation's Nerds Wake Up In Utopia Where Everyone Stays Inside, Sports Are Canceled, Social Interaction Forbidden | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/chick-fil-a-announces-new-bottled-sauces-that-still-wont-open-on-sunday | Chick-fil-A Announces New Bottled Sauces That Still Won't Open On Sunday | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/christian-grabs-coffee-logs-into-conservative-news-site-for-morning-devotions | Christian Grabs Coffee, Logs In To The Daily Wire For Morning Devotions | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/op-ed-what-if-trump-wont-leave-office-and-grows-fifty-feet-tall-and-shoots-lasers-out-of-his-eyes | Op-Ed: What If Trump Refuses To Leave Office And Also What If He Grows Fifty Feet Tall And Shoots Lasers Out Of His Eyes? | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/psa-stop-using-racist-terminology | PSA: Stop Using Racist Terminology | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/media-that-has-hyped-literally-everything-as-the-end-of-the-world-not-sure-why-no-one-listening-to-them-on-coronavirus | Media That Hypes Everything As A Crisis Shocked That No One Listens When Actual Crisis Arrives | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/the-babylon-bee-guide-physical-contact-during-the-coronavirus-outbreak | The Babylon Bee Guide To Physical Contact During The Coronavirus Outbreak | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/podcast-are-you-smarter-than-a-journalist | Podcast: Are You Smarter Than A Journalist? | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/disaster-at-biden-rally-as-he-smudges-reminder-message-reading-you-are-joe-biden-and-you-are-running-for-president | Disaster At Rally As Biden Smudges Note On Hand Reading, 'You Are Joe Biden And You Are Running For President' | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/life-hack-if-youre-out-of-toilet-paper-a-great-alternative-is-joel-osteen-books | Life Hack: Joel Osteen Books Make A Great Alternative To Toilet Paper | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-exciting-the-democratic-base-with-his-not-being-bernie-sanders | Biden Excites Democrats By Not Being Bernie Sanders | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/podiums-at-next-debate-to-be-equipped-with-life-alert-buttons | Podiums At Next Debate To Be Equipped With Life Alert Buttons | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/nation-announces-plan-to-use-coronavirus-as-an-excuse-to-quarantine-california | Nation To Use Coronavirus As Convenient Excuse To Quarantine California | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/missing-person-alert-issued-for-elderly-man-wandering-down-highway-in-bathrobe-waving-dead-fish-at-passing-cars | Missing Person Alert Issued For Elderly Man Wandering Down Highway In Bathrobe Waving Dead Fish At Passing Cars | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/pence-cancels-general-election-to-stymie-coronavirus | Trump Cancels 2020 Election Over Coronavirus Concerns | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/homeschoolers-to-continue-quarantining-themselves-from-everything-like-always | Homeschoolers To Continue Quarantining Themselves From Everything Like Always | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/omar-says-she-completely-understands-biden-confusing-his-wife-and-sister | Ilhan Omar Endorses Joe Biden After He Confuses Wife With Sister | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/god-to-flood-earth-with-hand-sanitizer | God To Flood Earth With Hand Sanitizer | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-instructs-aides-to-turn-stock-market-chart-upside-down | Trump Instructs Aides To Turn Stock Market Chart Upside Down | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/obama-walks-back-comments-about-being-responsible-for-the-stock-market | Obama Announces He Is No Longer Responsible For The Economy | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/nations-churchgoers-whisper-prayer-of-gratitude-for-coronavirus-as-greeting-times-canceled | Church Introverts Praise Lord For Coronavirus As Greeting Times Canceled | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/inequality-top-1-of-conservatives-own-50-of-libs | Inequality: Study Finds Top 1% Of Conservatives Own 50% Of Libs | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/hillary-clinton-says-epstein-assassination-was-to-manage-anxiety | Hillary Clinton Says Epstein Assassination Was To 'Manage Anxiety' | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/other-candidates-beg-warren-not-to-endorse-them | Other Candidates Beg Warren Not To Endorse Them | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/despite-cdc-warning-biden-cant-stop-touching-other-peoples-faces | Biden To Defy CDC Warning To Stop Touching Other People's Faces | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/hell-confirmed-to-be-ride-on-its-a-small-world | Hell Confirmed To Be Eternal Ride On 'It's A Small World' | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/please-like-me | Opinion: Please Like Me | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/brian-williams-to-host-new-game-show-are-you-smarter-than-a-journalist | Brian Williams To Host New Game Show 'Are You Smarter Than A Journalist?' | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/op-ed-if-people-wont-elect-the-most-unlikable-women-on-the-planet-will-they-elect-any-women | Opinion: If Americans Aren't Sexist, Then How Come They Refuse To Elect The Most Unlikable Women On The Planet? | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/the-mysterious-science-of-turning-christian-the-mike-nelson-interview | The Mysterious Science Of Turning Christian: The Mike Nelson Interview | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/msnbc-claimed-bloomberg-could-have-given-every-american-1-million-fact-check-true-but-not-all-at-the-same-time | Brian Williams Claimed Bloomberg Could Have Given Every American $1 Million. Fact Check: TRUE. But Not All At The Same Time | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/coronavirus-passes-over-houses-with-cfa-sauce | Miracle: Coronavirus Passes Over Houses With Chick-Fil-A Sauce Smeared On Door Posts | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/i-would-die-for-my-faith-says-man-who-always-feels-a-little-awkward-praying-in-public | 'I Would Take A Bullet For My Faith,' Says Man Who Won't Pray In Public Because It's Weird And Awkward | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/demonstrating-christ-like-forgiveness-man-watches-next-rian-johnson-movie | Demonstrating Christlike Forgiveness, Man Watches Next Rian Johnson Movie | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/webmd-frontpage-now-just-says-yep-youve-got-coronavirus | WebMD Front Page Now Just Says, 'Yep, You've Got Coronavirus' | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/historian-women-invented-grilling-to-trick-men-into-cooking | Historians: Women Invented Grilling To Trick Men Into Cooking | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/warren-returns-to-tribe-in-shame-after-failing-to-retake-land-from-the-white-man | Warren Returns To Tribe In Shame After Failing To Take Land Back From The Pale Faces | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/bernie-sanders-dominating-fortnite-circuit-by-corralling-all-the-other-players-into-gulags | Bernie Sanders Banned From Fortnite For Throwing All The Other Players Into Gulags | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-to-make-sure-steel-slats-in-wall-are-close-enough-to-keep-out-coronavrius | Trump Redesigns Wall So Slats Are Close Enough Together To Keep Out Coronavirus | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/church-members-astounded-by-cajon-players-ability-to-sit-there-and-hit-a-box | Congregation Awestruck By Cajon Player's Ability To Sit There And Hit A Box | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/virus-that-has-killed-many-people-overseas-now-spreading-in-the-us | Virus That Has Killed Many People Around The World Now Spreading In U.S. | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/dems-combine-into-giant-mech-in-last-ditch-effort-to-defeat-bernie | Dems Combine Into Giant Mech To Annihilate Bernie Sanders | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/podcast-coronavirus-civil-discourse-and-giving-up-crack | Podcast: Coronavirus, Civil Discourse, And Giving Up Crack | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/paid-mourners-weep-as-bloomberg-exits-primary | Paid Mourners Weep As Bloomberg Exits Primary | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/ignorant-boomer-shares-cnn-article-thinking-its-real | Ignorant Boomer Shares CNN Article Thinking It’s Real | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/fun-new-calvinist-instagram-filter-tells-you-if-youre-elect-or-not | This Fun New Calvinist Instagram Filter Will Tell You If You're Elect Or Not | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/years-long-multimillion-dollar-nomination-process-narrows-field-down-to-three-worst-people-on-planet | Years-Long, Multimillion-Dollar Nomination Process Narrows Field Down To Four Worst People On Planet | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/christians-get-last-laugh-as-sidehugs-found-to-slow-spread-of-coronavirus | Christians Finally Vindicated As Sidehugs Found To Protect Against Coronavirus | 1 |
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https://babylonbee.com/news/new-law-would-allow-millennials-to-stay-on-their-parents-netflix-account-until-theyre-35 | New Law Would Allow Millennials To Stay On Their Parents' Netflix Account Until They're 35 | 1 |
|
https://babylonbee.com/news/in-major-gaffe-bernie-sanders-forgets-words-to-communist-manifesto | In Major Gaffe, Bernie Sanders Forgets Words To Communist Manifesto | 1 |
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