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t3_1k3yd6 | relationships | Ex-gf [21f] wants to have sex with me [26m] | She cheated on me 4 months in and felt compelled to tell me near our 6 month mark.
We fought about it for a week. Lots of lies and anger. In my head I was on a see-saw of forgiving her and moving on, or leaving her. I decided, for the time being, to leave (move out).
During the few days where our relationship was in the dumps we would talk multiple times a day and agreed to see each other on the weekends to see if what we had was salvageable.
In the meantime she ended up being consoled by some guy whom she had just met: she told him everything about what had happened, then cuddled with him in her bed, then went to his room and did the same. This was the 2nd time she had met him, the 1st was an exchange of hellos. I was told a milder version of this story at first, then the full version after some prodding, much like her cheating story. I decided to drop her and completely ignore her.
Since then shes been texting and calling at an alarming rate. At first the texts were mundane and friendly, mostly about getting closure. They slowly turned desperate and needy. The last 6 texts I got were in the early morning hours, telling me about how horny she was and that she misses the sex and how we used to be.
I admit, I have been thinking about visting her for sex. Strangely, the sex got better after all the cheating drama. Do you guys think its a good idea? Or should I continue ignoring her and move on with my life? | Broke up with ex over cheating/questionable behavior, started ignoring her which drove her crazy, wants me back/wants sex, should I go for it or no? |
t3_1nu2sq | relationships | I'm 18, I was texting a girl, her friend took over, then called me and put me on speaker phone. What happened? | So I was texting a girl (yes I like her) and a few texts later her friend starts to answer. Anyways her friend calls me and puts me on speaker and she starts messing with me along with her other friends. I asked where the girl was and they claimed she was in the bathroom, then I asked if she knew they were doing this and they just said "Yes and no."
Anyways I heard a voice in the background (sounded male) say "well they're practically dating" and I think this refers to how I spent three hours with her at a cafe after an engineering club meeting. Yeah we talked nonstop until I had to go so I hope that went well.
So what's going on? Is this good or bad?
My friend told me that she could be flirting or something, but my other friend told me that this usually means she doesn't care if she's letting her friends handle it and if its the latter, then it feels like I just got kicked in the chest.
Will provide more details if needed. | Texting girl, her friend takes over, her friend calls and puts me on speaker and messes with me. Don't know what is going on. |
t3_1xy4r2 | relationships | Me [26F] with my best friend [26 M] ten years, We've always liked each other and now we are both in a situation to be together, but he's hesitant. | So yeah, he's been my friend for so long and I've always had a thing for him and he's always had a thing for me. We had a brief falling out five years ago and shortly after that he started dating someone else, and then I started dating someone too.
We became friends again and it was nice.
So in the summer he split up with his girlfriend and it was really hard on him. And recently I split up with my boyfriend. Since then my feelings for him have increased exponentially. We talk all the time and I really want to be with him. He is worried that I'm just getting over my relationship and that my feelings for him will wane. I don't believe so, since I've always liked him. Also, because of his difficult breakup he is having a hard time trusting women, which I totally understand.
He is really careful and wants everything to be perfect, but I feel like there's no time like the present and there is never going to be a perfect time to be together and we never know if we will work out unless we try. Everything is a risk, right?
I feel like my breakup has given me perspective on love and relationships and my whole heart is in this. I have the excitement of new possibilities but also the consistent love I've had for him all along. I'm ready to start this chapter but he is hesitant and I want to respect that. | How can I show him that I am in this for the long haul, that I'm trustworthy and that this is a risk that is worth it? |
t3_2v9jug | tifu | TIFU by scaring my landlord | So I grew up on a farm and am now living in an unbelievably urban area. By nature, I expect courtesy and respect from my neighbors, and seldomly do I receive it. I may or may not have become slightly alcoholic since moving to the city, so that factors into the current predicament. I have been a little toasted on rum for the past couple days, and /r/funny and netflix have been the main source of entertainment for my weekend, so I've been unobnoxiously keeping to myself. So living in what I feel is fair to call "the hood," I am aware of "hood-like" shenanigans since apartment is in the middle of the main hallway, and I am subjected to quarrels of all imaginable varieties.
As I said, I haven't really been in my right mind the last couple days. I've been sitting here listening to music and browsing reddit like a noob, and I hear a bunch of "commotion" outside. I pay no attention and continue swigging/redditing, because that's what people do. The commotion continues for what seems like an hour. I finally decide I've had enough, and I get off my bed to make a 6 foot trip to the door when my inebriated feet forget how to operate, and I bash my face into the peephole long enough to get a glimpse of the landlord right outside. | Was drunk, tripped while trying to see what was happening outside my door, scared the shit out of my landlord who was making friendly banter with fellow residents outside, and think I knocked myself out for a tick. |
t3_2978yw | Advice | Am I being a bad friend? | Hey reddit. For a couple of years now I've been part of this little group of friends. There's me, some guys, and some girls. We used to hang out all the time, see some movies, go bowling, shoot the shit. We were good friends, really close. So one of the guys, let's call him Chris, started dating one of the girls, let's call her Mary.
So Chris and Mary date for a bit, seem crazy about each other, and then break up. Chris loses his shit and doesn't even want to see Mary ever again. Two years later, he maintains this position.
My problem, is that I really enjoy the company of Mary. She's fun, she gets me, and I've confided in her quite a bit. Here recently, Mary and I have reconnected a bit. So I've been hanging out with Mary kind of behind Chris' back.
So after all that, my question is, is this wrong? I'm not planning anything sinister here, Mary is just a really chill girl who knows more about me than really anyone else. | I'm hanging out with one of my good friends, who happens to be the ex of another one of my good friends. Is it wrong? |
t3_l5pid | AskReddit | Reddit, please help me understand the fascination with Star Wars, especially when it's coming from younger people. | This is aimed at people 30ish and younger. I'm mid-20s, geeky and in tune with pop culture. I've seen all Star Wars movies multiple times, and enjoyed them. And I understand why it was such a big deal in the 70s and 80s and why older co-workers go on and on about it. The technology was groundbreaking at the time. But I found the story pretty average, acting hollow, characters not at all developed and dialogues lame. So why is it still so big today?
There are so many newer movies/TV shows that are as good (if not better) and technologically brilliant which people don't give as much credit to. The Matrix trilogy, Terminator series, LOTR, Jurassic Park and Avatar to name a few. *Battlestar Galactica*, for heaven's sake. How can someone prefer Star Wars over *that*?
And yet, we still have everyone and their mothers reference Star Wars in every setting to gain some geek credit. Still have multiple Star Wars themed Superbowl commercials every year. *Why?*
So next time you see a friend dress up as Vader or a storm trooper for Halloween, or engage in some princess Leia cosplay, kindly ask them about it. | Why is our generation fascinated with Star Wars, even though we weren't part of the phenomenon 30 years ago? Why don't we have an equivalent pop culture landmark for our time. |
t3_hoczr | AskReddit | Should I call the cops on my thief friend? | Last year was my final year at high school; and while it was a pretty decent finish, I got really fucked over by a friend.
I went to a reasonably rich private school, but despite having its own upstairs cafe, the food was horrible and overpriced. At this point, some of my friends were getting their driving licenses, and would drive to fast food places to get their own lunches. My dad would give me his debit card to buy food since he couldn't always give me cash.
I was stupid enough to lend the debit card to a friend so he could buy me lunch. I gave him the number and account and he'd bring the food+card back within 10 minutes. But one day my dad was going through the bank statements and he noticed someone had taken out over $1000 at the local mall. Guess who? Yeah.
My parents made me give them my friend's phone number and they texted him, saying they were going to call his parents and the police if he didn't pay it back. He owned up and said it was because he owed a friend a lot of money. Pathetic excuse. He also said he was going to pay them back ASAP.
Well, six months later, not a single cent out of him. Should I call the police? | friend stole $1000 from my parents' bank account, hasn't paid back in six months, should I call the cops? |
t3_3qeu8e | legaladvice | Mother's employer giving her a hard time to take vacation days (FL) advice? | I posted this in r/legal but I thought I might get a better response here.
My mother works at a small family owned pharmacy in Florida as a pharmacy technician . Whenever she requests to use her vacation days it is always a huge ordeal.
Recently, my mom requested vacation days so she could be with my cousin who is coming from out of the country. The manager called her into the office and asked her to work weekends to make up for the days she is requesting. That is unacceptable, these are her paid vacation days that she hasn't used for the year. She declined and the manager insisted that she work at least half days on the days she is requesting.
Throughout the year, every time my mother has requested to use her days she has been denied or the days have been rearranged in a way that is convenient for the manager and inconvenient for my mom because she is given no choice.
Last year, it came to the point where they didn't allow her to take any days off and gave her a check for the remaining paid days off instead.
Essentially they are not allowing her to take her time off and paying her for it instead without giving her a choice. I don't think this is ethical.
I would like to know if there is anything that can be done or if this is even legal.
There is no HR department in this company, all of the issues are handled by either the manager or the vice president (who are related). | Workplace not giving mom time off and paying her for it instead. Mother doesn't want this she wants her time off. We live in Florida. Is this legal? |
t3_4latqo | tifu | TIFU by trying to impress my girlfriend | So my girlfriend is on a two week vacation, and I wanted to really spice things up with her when she gets back. I've been sending her provocative messages, calling her just because, and most notably I've started going to the gym again because I want her to be impressed with my super toned Bruce Wayne body.
It was going great until I hit back day and I decided to do deadlifts. I noticed a slight tightness in my lower back near my hip, but I ignored it because gains. I keep doing my sets and tightness turns into pain. But why stop, because gains. I wake up the next morning and I can barely bend over. I then was walking hunched over like an old man wondering if I should see a chiropractor. | I wanted to impress my girlfriend so I went to the gym and hurt my back doing deadlifts because I ignored an unusual pain and had to walk like the hunchback of Notre freaking Dame |
t3_drw81 | AskReddit | How do I keep my dog from running away? | Fellow Bacon-lovers, I need your help.
I rescued a dog from a local shelter about 5 or 6 months ago, here he is making his [derp face] His papers listed him as part Golden Retriever, part Australian Shepherd and he's now about 10 months old. He settled in as a member of the family, my wife and three kids love him to death.
Unfortunately he has a nasty habit of darting out of the door or gate if given the opportunity, even pushing past me or the kids a few times. And when he gets out, he's gone. He's disappeared for a couple days at a time, though I think that was mostly because the people who found him wanted to keep him. He doesn't appear to go very far when he gets out, but we live in a pretty dense suburban area and we've never been able to find him before it gets too dark to continue looking.
He seems to have a pretty high prey instinct; he tries to chase rabbits and birds when we go on walks. He's also highly energetic, we walk him at least once a day, sometimes more, as well as trips to the dog park as often as we can. I've even purchased a Walky Dog bike leash for him that I've used a few times. I'm not sure that we can commit to any more activities with him with our busy schedule.
So, has anyone else experienced this, or have any suggestions for how to keep him from running out every chance he gets? I'm worried one of these times he'll get into a major road and get hit by a car.
We're currently considering:
* Obedience classes (expensive and I'm not convinced will solve the issue)
* Invisible dog fence (expensive)
* Shock Collar (eeesh)
* Giving him away (awwwww)
As a rule I'm against causing any harm to him, but when it's a choice between him getting hit by a car, or some Pavlovian love, I may have to break that rule. | Our dog runs out the door or gate at almost every opportunity, and we need to teach him not to before he's hit by a car. |
t3_4aoow3 | relationships | GF [18F] of 2 years is pissed at me [20 M] for asking my house mate [20 M] something related to his new fwb | Just going to get straight to the point. My girlfriend and I were talking to a room-mate who recently got into a Fwb relationship. I asked whether they have sexted and whether they have sent nudes to each other (fwb). Now my girlfriend is in a strop and I'm not sure if I'm in the wrong or not. I had no intentions to hurt her feelings nor did I have intentions to see the nudes myself. I just considered it small talk. Am I wrong? | asked my house mate if he has sent nudes to his new fwb and whether they sext and gf is now angry. Am I wrong? |
t3_2smd2g | tifu | TIFU by telling my boyfriend I cheated on him. | This happened a few months ago but another post here triggered my memory so I thought I would share.
My boyfriend is in the army and he's gone all but 4 weeks out of the year. This type of situation is entirely new to me and I was pretty surprised when I first found myself wanting to be in a LDR. Anyway...
He was doing army stuff "in the field" (I still have no idea what that means) and was having to stay up for all hours of the night. At this point, he had been out there about a week and was sleeping anywhere from 1-4 hours a day in small intervals.
We texted when he had time and conversation helped keep him awake when things got boring. The fuck up happened around 5 in the morning after he'd been fighting sleep for at least 4 hours. He started texting me that he almost fell asleep and something about how he'd like it if I helped keep him up.
Me, not thinking because it was 4 am where I live, had the brilliant idea of texting him, "Lol. I almost thought about texting you that I cheated on you or something." At the time, I thought that would shock him awake and we'd have a good laugh. However, he didn't see my clearly misplaced humor and I got the lecture of a lifetime.
"Why would you say that?!?! I thought I'd get a funny picture or we could sext!" was his completely understandable response. I then spent a solid 2 hours telling him I was joking around and would rather beat myself with a sack full of feisty weasels than cheat on him. He told a few of his friends once they woke up and they mostly (and rightfully) think I'm loonier than the Animaniacs for texting that. I did manage to keep him awake, though. | Brainless girlfriend is not a comedian and texts boyfriend a "joke" about cheating on him, boyfriend is a smart man and blows my shit up like a terrorist at a journalism office. |
t3_c5f54 | AskReddit | Reddit, I need some opinions on a big life changer for me. | I have a best friend in Edmonton, AB. I plan on visiting him this may long weekend, I also have a extremely pretty and talented female friend from my hometown here in Winnipeg, MB out in Nanaimo, BC. We got talking today and she wants to see me badly enough to come out to Edmonton this weekend while I'm out there. Me and her have talked many times before about me moving out to her and staying with her and starting a new chapter in my life, much like she did. Well we got talking and I let it slip that I would consider canceling my return flight home and just continuing the journey back with her! Which is something I'm totally down to do...I have a few set backs, barely no cash in the bank, all my stuff here in Winnipeg, MB and I've never done something like this before!! I like this girl and I can tell she likes me (clearly) so, What do you guys think??? last second ditch of my current life to pursue this with her out in beautiful BC after visiting my BFF in Edmonton???
Its seriously a big crazy idea that I kinda want to do, but do you guys see this going over well????
please and thanks for the responses. | Do I ditch my life I have with barely any money and travel/hike it back from Edmonton to BC with a girl who is cooler then shit and I like? |
t3_1pfveu | relationships | Best friend (25 M) had unrequited feelings for me (25 F) for a year. He moved on and now I have feelings for him. | My best friend had feelings for me for over a year, which I was unaware of at the time because he never made a move. Well, I suspected a couple of times that he might have a small crush on me, but tried to avoid it due to a past relationship with a best friend ending poorly.
Once I entered into a long term relationship with someone else, he stopped talking to me. I partially blame myself for losing contact because I was busy with a new relationship, school, and work. Also, a while later a couple of friends told me that he had feelings for me during that period and thought I knew. I didn't have much dating experience at the time and am a very friendly person (often confused for flirting) so I had a hard time recognizing subtle hints.
I ended my first long term relationship due to my SO not having certain qualities that I now realize are important to me. I am now realizing that my friend has all of those qualities, however he is in a relationship with someone else. I initially thought he was in a happy relationship and tried to keep my distance because I wanted him to be happy. However, I work with him and he occasionally describes how unhealthy his relationship is and has tried to break up with her a couple of times. We are not nearly as close as we used to be and I really miss our friendship, but can't tell if he isn't hanging out with me anymore because his GF is jealous of his female friends or if he just doesn't care to be my friend anymore.
He has asked me for advice on his relationship, which I try to avoid commenting on because I know my opinion is biased and wouldn't want to influence his relationship.
I don't know if I should keep waiting around, if I should somehow distance myself more from him, or tell him I have feelings for him (which seems like a bad idea). | Best friend, who I work with, used to have feelings for me, moved on, now I have feelings for him. He appears to be in an unhealthy relationship. |
t3_1csbp8 | relationships | I[18M] heard something extremely unsettling about SO of one month[19F] | I've been seeing this girl from work (restaurant, if it matters. Refer to her as C) for around two'ish months now, dating for around one. We don't tell most people from work that we're dating just to avoid problems, as some other people we work with have had issues recently and its been a real shitstorm. The people we hang out with outside of work know, as well as four or so more people.
Its been great so far, we hang out a lot, get along, etc etc, but before we started dating, and soon after we started, one of her good friends(also works with us, so we're cool as well) mentioned that he didn't like how much she was talking to her ex. I don't know the guy, but evidently hes a real shit bag, her parents hated him, all of her friends hated him, you get the gist of it. At first, I just shrugged it off, even though it bothered me; I'm not going to tell her who she can or can't talk to, as we aren't too serious and at the moment I didn't really know where the relationship was going.
Another coworker, N, who I trust, told me that C had been talking with one of her friends about her ex, and that friend had come to her. The friend asked if she was still talking to the ex, to which she replied, "Well, I shouldn't..," the friend asked if she would be getting back together with him when he gets back in town, with the same answer. This bothers me, like a lot. Took a little while to realize how not okay I actually am with this, and just basically need some advice or insight. I'm definitely going to say something about it, and I already thought about just breaking it off.
I know this sounds like some high school he said she said shit, but the story flows a little bit better if you know the people. | Girl says that she "Shouldn't" be talking to, or get back together with her shit head ex, that she apparently still talks to. Should I just break it off now? |
t3_3bc4nu | relationships | [18 M] letter to my ex [17 G] to get her back? | throwaway cus friends know my reddit,
So basically me and my girlfriend of 7 months broke up a few weeks ago in a pretty messy breakup but now I want her back, I've expressed this to her and she says that for now she just wants to be friends but that her feelings towards me may change in the future. I believe there is a chance of us getting back together but whether that's just wishful thinking or not I don't know.
So we've been chatting recently and its its sorta friendly but also just how we used to talk when we were going out, really playful and jokey and I was just wondering what i could do to increase the chances of us getting back together, I might stop contact between us for a bit to see what happens but apart from that I'm not sure what to do.
I'm considering writing a letter to her in a couple more weeks basically saying that I'm sorry for what I did (i was a dick to her towards the end of the relationship, I didn't mean to it was a mistake but hey-ho) and that i hope she can give me a second chance. I can't decide whether this would be really creepy instead of romantic and whether it would just push her further away.
So yeah just sorta looking for general advice on what I can do to get her back and whether I should send the letter or not | broke up with GF, want her back, what can I do to increase my chances + should I send her a letter? |
t3_2unxt1 | loseit | Question about properly logging calories burned/exercise | So, stay with me here. I put my HR monitor on and measured the amount of calories I burned while just sitting in front of the TV and it said I burned around 80 - 100 cal in an hour. I then used my HR monitor for a half hour jog and multiplied it by 2 giving me a total of around 300 cal/hr. If MFP already takes into account my resting calories burned to give me my daily goal, does that mean I should be subtracting my resting rate from my calories burned during a workout? Sorry, this is harder for me to explain in writing, but essentially, if my HR monitor says I burned 300 calories in an hour, shouldn't I subtract the 100 I would have burned doing nothing (as MFP has already counted those calories burned) and only log the additional 200 calories burned? | Should I subtract the amount of calories I would have burned at rest from the amount of calories my HR monitor says I burned during a work out to prevent overestimating my calories expended? |
t3_39act2 | relationship_advice | [20/M] need advice with girlfriend [19/f] of 3 years | Recently I have been questioning what I should do in my relationship. We both love each other and I know she would be an amazing woman to be with for the rest of my life. But i don't know what to do about some issues that I have.
One of those issues is that I don't get to see her as often as I'd like to. We only see each other once a week for around 5-6 hours and this is the way it's practically been throughout our relationship. It has made it feel almost boring in a sense. And when we do see each other its always the same things we do every time.
Another issue I have is that we have never have had sex. We are both virgins and the urge to experience it just keeps growing for me. But I know that she is completely fine without it. We have touched each other as well as oral but even then I don't feel like these occur as often as I'd like. We don't talk about anything sex related because it feels awkward for her. And even bringing up the idea will just be instantly shot down.
I really do love her to death but I am unsure of what to do. Any help? | Starting to question the quality of my relationship. Love each other but only meet once a week, no sex, relationship feels like the same routine over and over. |
t3_3nxdoq | relationships | [19 M] I never learned any basics of romantic interaction growing up and now I'm trying to learn from the ground up. So far I've not been successful. | Basically I was always awkward as a kid but later in life I came out of my shell and now I am able to function normally im society. However, where most guys had their first "girlfriends" and stuff in middle school, I have never dated on any level ever. As such, I have absolutely zero experience with anything remotely romantic and I have no idea how to pick up on hints, make a move, or even give/ask for phone numbers. It's all very foreign to me and I will talk to a girl and think she's pretty cool and that I'd love to talk to her more, but then that's it. I don't think to like ask her for her number or anything until I am thinking about it later and I realize how dumb I am.
Is there any way to get better at this stuff? I know part of it is confidence, but a lot of it is also how I don't even consider romance until afterwards when I am feeling bad about myself for how lonely I am. I have had women flirt with me and me not realize it until afterwards many times and I am getting sick of just being so clueless. | I didn't have any experience with anything romantic as a teenager and now I am very awkward around it all and very inexperienced. |
t3_3pz98q | relationships | Me [25 M] seeing a girl [28 F] on and off since last year - she requires me to do all the travelling | I met a girl on OKC 6-7 months ago, and I've seen her maybe a grand total of 5-6 times. We live about 2.5 hours bus away from each other. The problem is, neither of us drives, and she has only come to see me in my city once. She claims that money has been an issue, but I've offered to pay for her ticket/expenses while hanging out with me. She has expressed that me paying for her clashes with her personal views.
The problem is that my job has a shitty schedule so having 2.5 hrs of travel time each way makes things difficult, when I may only have 1-1.5 days off a week. I've always had the philosophy that someone who likes me will try and make the time for me. And she is currently unemployed, so time is not a factor for her. She seems to be into me otherwise. I've laid out the situation logically for her, but she's mostly just in a mental block regarding the issue of me paying for her. It makes me think that she's just super lazy to travel. Thoughts? | Girl is broke and doesn't want to travel as a result. I offer to remove the obstacle, girl gets weird. |
t3_tf8gl | AskReddit | Being bullied-What should I do without talking to a teacher? | So a few guys from my Intro to CAD class are being assholes and I don't want to let them push me around anymore. I'm really thinking of not holding myself back and punching a few of them next time they piss me off. I don't want to talk to a teacher because that wouldn't really help.
They do little things like call me a freak, goth, emo, etc. (only because I like metal and just recently dyed my hair black after my previous hair color faded to start over...anyway) and tell me to shut up even if I'm just chatting with a friend.
I never did anything to them before either.
So, do any of you have advice on how to get them to leave me alone, whether it be causing a lot of damage physically (without injuring them too badly permanently) or telling them to f*** off in a more convincing way?
Also, I'm a girl (freshman) and most of them are sophomores (most in sports, so they're big, too). | Guys in my class are being mean-- What's the best way to punch somebody and cause the most damage and/or get them to leave me alone? |
t3_2vwshq | tifu | TIFU a relationship by being absurdly busy | Alright, longtime lurker and first time poster so a little back story. I'm an insanely busy junior in high school and I'm in several extracurriculars, namely quiz bowl, robotics, and track. Back in early December I met this girl, we'll call her X, while at a quiz bowl tournament. We hit it off almost instantly, traded phone numbers in the biggest coincidence ever (to me at least), and then shortly thereafter we were unofficially dating. Skip forward to late January, we're pretty interested in each other. I finally get the balls to officially ask her out after forgetting several times before on the 8th of this monthmonth. My forgetfulness was attributed to me having such a great time with her that I forgot everything else. (I should mention we only see each other on weekends since she lives half an hour away and 2 hours away on holiday weekends, divorced parents)
Alright so the other thing is I'm I'm robotics and we're currently at our peak of build season so I'm at school until 8 every night building the robot. Recently, since we're ahead of schedule, I've been coming home early. Track season's also getting into swing and as a result I'm busy every day of the week as well as several Saturdays. When I'm not doing any of these things I'm worrying about my college physics, trig, or assorted other assignments.
This has gotten to the point I never get to talk to her anymore and she's disappointed with me more often than anything. Now I'm concerned that this is the end. | I like girl and she liked me in December. I'm really fucking busy and she probably hates me now for not having time for her. |
t3_4p8k2h | relationships | My Mom[55 F] and my sister [17F] are always fighting and I don't like to be around the two when home. | Ever since my sister got her license, the two have had a deteriorating relationship. Sis likes to party, smoke weed and maybe sleeps around but I don't know for sure about that. She has lied about going to a friend's house or the mall, but actually went somewhere else.
My sister held a party in the house while my mom was in Boston to run the marathon and I was in college. My mom has taken her car away before, but she's taken the keys back or just gone to dad's house (amicably divorced in 2010 I think).
Sis graduated high school and has almost no responsibility except work. She fights with mom a lot over missing curfew, staying out too late, drugs, sneaking out, etc. They recently got into a shouting match because a box of college stuff was missing and she accused mom f moving it while mom screamed that she should look after her stuff.
I'm tired of living in a house where every time sis comes home from work the two end up screaming. I'm tired of the incessant bickering. I feel like my mom isn't really handling the situation very well by trying to keep sister on a short chain, but sister is somewhat out of control. What can I do about this situation? | My mom and sister have started to get at each other's throats now that sister has graduated and I'm sick of dealing with it. |
t3_2d2pp1 | relationships | (24/f) Handling a break up with an emotional manipulator (23/m) | 5 months ago, my boyfriend of two years and I broke up. We were together for two years, on and off. That was his doing. We would have a really good week, one where he was busy, one where he would ignore me, one where he would break up with me, and then the next we were back together. For two years. I'm not really sure what happened but 5 months ago I said that I was done and he agreed. We haven't talked to each other since.
Overall, I'm over him. I don't feel heartbroken. I don't feel sad. I don't cringe thinking about him with another woman. I don't care. I just still feel like "he's around the corner" even though he hasn't tried once to contact me. I guess I feel like he let go of our relationship so easily when he normally springs back and comes up with some excuse on why we should get back together. He emotionally manipulated and gaslighted me our entire relationship. He was extremely selfish and I took him back every time. I guess I still feel out of sorts because I'm waiting for the cycle to start again. It hasn't.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to feel like it really is done with? 5 months is the longest we haven't communicated. I know we are broken up for good. I just don't know how to shake the feeling that one day out of the blue it's just going to start up again. I know I can block and be on my merry way, but I'm referring to more of him *wanting it*. Like suddenly he's going to want me again.
Any advice is appreciated. | Dated an emotional manipulator for two years. How do you shake the feeling that he's going to turn around and decide he wants to be with me again? |
t3_r35qq | self | Mom walked into my room yesterday... | So I was in my room yesterday browsing the web looking at some different porn websites. I've ingeniously placed my PC in the best place so that if someone barges into my room I have plenty of time to alt+tab off of the current porn site to my desktop or something. I have one headphone in so I can hear if someone walks in. Someone barges in so I casually alt+tab. Only it wasn't to the desktop, it was to some porn pop up that was screaming obscenities to me which startled me not only because it was freaking loud, but also because it was a porn pop up that I didn't want my mom to see. When I jumped because of the pop up, it yanked the headphones out of my PC and my room fills with long moans and many sighing fucks. Right in front of me, my mom hears it, keeps looking forward not at me and turns and leaves... | Mom walked in my room scaring the headphones out of my PC which blared moans and sighs from porn, she walked out silently. |
t3_2j0ri0 | Advice | Boyfriend and housemates had argument, now its ruining mine and his time together, how do I solve this? | Basically my boyfriend has put his foot in it a bit, said the wrong thing at the wrong time and insulted my housemates in the process (unintentionally but still.)
So last night it all blew up a bit they were asking why he said certain things and that they felt it was disrespectful as they are letting him stay here and expecting no payment towards bills etc... He apologized, bought some wine and chocolate as a peace offering and they said it was ok but they are still a bit offended by it all as they felt he was insulting their intelligence etc..
I have said there is nothing more that can be done and to try and forget it now and go on as normal and let it blow over in its own time but him being a worrier (like myself so I do get it) is continuing to worry and letting it affect his day. I hardly see him due to it being a long distance relationship so I want to make the most of the time we have together, but he is stubborn and saying he doesn't want to do anything today and that he just wants to mope etc.. however that is making it a bit awkward for me as I have already said it will sort itself out as have my housemates, but it will take a little time to be back to normal.
Basically how do I say he needs to forget it and try and enjoy our time together and actually go out and do shit and have a good day and not let this ruin the little time we have in a way that may actually work? | Boyfriend put his foot in it and upset my housemates, now he is worrying and doesn't want to do anything but mope, how do I solve this? |
t3_2e23qs | relationships | I [25M] have a female friend. My [25F] wife does not like, but I refuse to stop. Am I so wrong? | My wife and I have been married 5 years. We're both 25, and we both are starting to feel like different people. In a good way! But still.
Recently we've had a bit of a rough patch, for the first time. I told her if things didn't improve we should probably get a divorce, since we owed it to ourselves to be happy. We both agreed we wouldn't give up, and try 110% to improve our relationship. So far things have gotten seriously better. BUT.
We're moving to another state, where an old mutual friend lives. We both added her on facebook and we both talk to her.
Turns out, she has changed a lot. Seriously, if she was a dude we would instantly be best friends for life. We've chatted here and there about moving, our lives and stuff, and we've been constantly having these "what? you too?" moments where we realize we're both into the same really obscure stuff (music, ideas about life etc). Areas where my wife and I are total opposites. I never get to talk about this kind of stuff with my wife, and I really, really enjoy it.
My wife noticed how much we talk, I'm not hiding anything we talk publicly on facebook and she has all my passwords. She said it bothered her that we talk so much, and wants me to cut off contact. I basically told her no, because we don't talk about anything inappropriate and I refuse to be controlled like that. I seriously have like no friends and this is important to me. She was upset and we're not talking right now.
Do I find her attractive? Nope. We're honestly just friends.
The way I see it, we either agree on this or we'll divorce, and that is just how it will have to be. I'm hoping she comes to terms with her feelings about the matter, and lets go of her jealousy.
Am I really wrong? Am I failing to see things from her perspective in a way that would change my attitude? | i have a female friend I talk to a lot. Wife does not like. I basically told her to be ok with it or we will divorce. Wondering if I'm really being so wrong. |
t3_3ce9s9 | relationships | Me [18F] with my girlfriend [17F] I brought up an open relationship, but having second thoughts. | I've been with my girl for a couple of months (we've been on and off for a pretty long time now) and we're both going off to college soon. She's going to school in Ohio, and I'm staying in Jersey. We've already both decided we want to continue this relationship in college as a long distance thing, so there's no doubt about that.
I've been browsing around Reddit and saw a lot of people trying open relationships, but I didn't know if I wanted to try one myself. So I talked to her about it, and she said she'd be open to the idea and it's something we should at least try. Before we talked, I told her this was entirely hypothetical and I'm not okay with doing it, but if we were to do it, we made a set of rules and all.
I've thought about it a lot. I love this girl, and seeing her with another guy would completely crush me. I'm the only person she's actually had a serious physical or emotional relationship with, and I don't like the idea of her doing any physical stuff with other dudes.
What should I do about this? Am I being overprotective? | I brought up the prospect of an open long-distance relationship, but I don't know if I should do it. |
t3_4szj59 | Advice | How to help GF's parents make friends so she'll feel comfortable moving out? | My (26F) gf and I (25M) have been dating for close to 6 years. The first two while we were in uni, 2 years of us basically trying to figure out life (job hunting, switching etc), and 2 years of having a lot more things figured out on the path to settlement.
For me, 2 of those years was living near campus, 2 years at home with the parents, and then 2 years away from home (1 year about an hour away from the GF, 1 year and currently a 5 hour drive from GF).
For her, she has always lived with her parents.The university was close enough that she didn't need to move out. Now, that isn't to say she isn't independent. She takes care of all the finances, shopping, housekeeping etc at home, but her parents are in good physical health to do this on their own.
So here's where the problem is. I am living quite a bit ways away, but willing to move closer back (sort of giving up a job I love, though might get laid off soon) if her and i moved in together. She'll often mention how she wants to do it and talk about what it would be like. But when I get serious about it, she always brings up how her parents would be lonely and depressed if she wasn't there. Fair enough (I argued we'd move at least an hour away from them so that the distance wouldn't be insane, but no bite)
So now, I'm wondering, with parents that are ~45-55ish age range, and Indian in a community that is predominately Canadian, how can I go about helping her parents make friends? | Girlfriend doesn't want to move out of her parents house because they are lonely with no friends. If they weren't alone, she'd consider moving out. How do I help her parents make some good buddies?* |
t3_2verva | tifu | TIFU by laughing at starving African children. | So this FU literally happened a couple of minutes ago.
I was sitting in class browsing TIFU when i came across the post about the guy who thought it would be a good idea to chug a bottle of hot sauce during an interview. After reading it me and my friend couldn't stop laughing, and as soon as we stopped laughing one of us would giggle a little bit a we would just start laughing hysterically to the point where we had tears in our eyes. Since we were suppose to read that lesson and everyone else was completely quiet we decided to try to force ourselves to stop. This is where the FU occured. In order to stop laughing we googled "starving african children" to make us sad instead. It didn't work and we just kept laughing. That's when our teacher came up behind us to see what we were giggling at... To him it looked like we were laughing at the children. He gave us a look of pure disgust and walked away before we could explain ourselves. Needless to say I wont be browsing reddit during class again any time soon... | Teacher caught us laughing while looking at pictures of starving african children and now he thinks that we have a mental problem... |
t3_2xiorl | jobs | Does it matter if i have a planned vacation in the near future when applying for a job? | LE BACKGROUND:
I started at a very well established clothing store when I was 18. It started as part time for the first year because I was also going to university. After I finished my program I began full time hours at my work, got promoted to shift leader 6 months later, shortly after that I was promoted again with discussion of me eventually moving into a Store Manager role when we build new stores.
THE PRESENT:
I am 21 years old, currently assistant manager. I have been considering leaving for almost a year for many reasons and Im under a lot of pressure right now to stay. The company is expanding and we are opening two new stores in the area in May, and it is expected of me to either move up in my position or transfer/ help take on and set up the new two stores.
Now, my job isnt terrible.. all the time. Its actially pretty chill and my coworkers/staff are amazing. But for the position that I have and the amount of work, god-awful scheduling and just plain old stress I have to endure, I am not getting paid nearly what I should be. (Big company, they dont like to pay anything if they can avoid.)
In addition, I have just discovered my favorite store is hiring and the job is closer/pays more.
THE DILEMMA:
I have planned a 10 day long vacation for April for my SO's bday. Also I have discovered a job opening perfect for me thats closer and pays more.
So, if I leave my job now I am assuming the new job wont be happy about my upcoming vacation being so soon.
On the other hand, i don't want to pass up this opportunity and have to stay at my current job/settle for something else later on. | planned a 10day vacay for April, but I want to leave my job now because a better opportunity presented itself. |
t3_23ru21 | relationships | Me [25 M] with my GF [21 F] of 1 year she tested positive for herpes #2 a few days ago. I'm lost. | First off - this is a followup to a post that i made yesterday. That was more in anger then anything so i'm re posting this.
The basis of the last post was that I read a chat from my GF's EX and it said that he had herpes. My GF never told me about this and never planned on telling me, she had about 2 weeks before i confronted her to tell me. I made her get tested and she tested positive for #2. The shitty part is that I dont think she had any intention of telling me. She said she never had any symptoms, so she assumed that her EX got it from his new GF.
Her ex and her haven't done anything in a year +, probably closer to 1.5 years. I honestly didn't dig too deep. They were together for 5 years. However, he has it and so does she (she assumes she gave it to him now). She said that she NEVER had an outbreak and if she had something that worried her she always went to get it swabbed. She had done this at least once in our relationship so i believe her.
I honestly don't know what to do here, I lost my virginity to this girl at 25 because i was always so worried about STDs when i was younger. I trusted her to be clean and nope (even after testing), she wasn't.
In the short term - I'm going to turn our current relationship into a sexless one for now. No PIV till I get tested, but i may give it another week or two to be safe. Is this a mistake? I mean, I really don't even know how i feel about this whole situation.
Has anyone had to deal with this type of situation? | GF has herpes #2, Im still not tested and I don't know how to proceed. I'll get tested in the next week or so. |
t3_2owvm8 | relationships | My BF (23) has just broken up with me (23,f) after 6.5 years. Totally blindsided. We live together and have no other choice. | I feel completely lost. My boyfriend and best friend of 6 and a half years has just broken up with me out of, what feels like, nowhere.
We were high school sweethearts, went to uni together, survived all that and 6 months ago moved 400 miles away for an amazing job he got offered (UK).
I've found a great job that I love, started to make some pretty good friends and we have an amazing house together. Everything seemed perfect and I was looking forward to this fresh start together.
3 weeks ago he just said he didn't know how to feel any more. He'd been down for a couple of weeks but always said his job was stressing him out (he does have a pretty stressful job for a new grad). He said he still loves me but not in the same way he used to and that things just don't 'click' any more.
I've given him space over the past few weeks but we live together and can't afford to move out and none of the friends we know here are in a position to offer either of us somewhere to stay.
He's my best friend. I've never got on with anybody as well as him. Over the past few weeks we've been getting on really well, considering everything, and it makes me happy that he seems happier and calmer. He unfortunately bottles up his emotions for too long and can just blow/break down at times.
I'm scared about the future. We have 6 months left on the lease of our house and moving on fills me with dread.
I still love him with all of my heart but I understand that if that's not what he wants, I can't make those feelings come back.
A couple of weeks ago, I went out with friends to cheer myself up, a guy ended up feeling me up in a bar and then tried to follow me home. This makes me even more depressed about the future!
I'm just looking for a bit of support really. I'm struggling to talk about this to friends and family so I'm hoping you wonderful internet people will be able to help me! | Boyfriend of 6.5 years broke up with me because 'he doesn't feel like he used to' - just looking for some support whilst I try and get my head around this whole situation! |
t3_51eaaz | relationships | I (19M) want to be single after being with my (19F) girlfriend of 3 years | I am a (19M) with my FIRST (19F) girlfriend and after three years together I feel as though I'm missing out on a lot of things. I feel as though we are married and I don't want that at all right now. She constantly talks about being married and kids and I am not ready to think about that. I fell head over heals in love with this girl sophomore year and now being in college (we attend different university's a state away) I have an urge to explore different things.
She is a good girl and I love her very much but I'm tired of a relationship. I want to be able to depend on myself 100% for a while. I feel like an asshole when I say that but I don't know how else to say it. I've actually tried to break up with her twice but I am such a softy, I can't take her bawling and being in hysterics when I say I want to take a break or be separate. I don't have the guts to end it.
She doesn't really like my friends and we constantly fight about me going to hang out with them too much (different now that we are separated). I feel like I am her only friend. She has plenty of friends she likes but she would rather have me than all of them and I do not think the same way.
I don't know what to do right now. I catch myself thinking about being single and how I am too young to be feeling like I'm married. Being with her is all I know I feel like. I want to do me during college and figure myself out because I feel as though I will end up being less of a man than I am capable of. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm being a dick but it's just how I've been feeling. Thanks | Have been with my first girlfriend ever for 3 years that I love very much and want to be single and experience my own life, but haven't had the balls to break up with her. |
t3_4un44z | relationships | My [25M] friend [25F] started talking to me differently after recently breaking up with her [23M] boyfriend. Unsure whether she's making a move. | We have been quite close before, we usually video chat when we have problems, usually relationship related. I don't know whether she's sad over her break up and just wants to have someone to talk to, or she's making a move on me. Should note that there is <1% chance of us being in an official relationship, because we currently living in different countries, and I just broke up with someone because of distance. Here's a list of some of the things she said to me.
She broke up with her boyfriend a few days ago, and sent me a text to tell me about it. She said she was pretty sad, but she's gotten better.
I told her I recently broke up with my girlfriend myself (on good terms, we broke up because we didn't want a long distance relationship but we still care about each other), and she told me "you can't be with one person forever" and "take an opportunity". She said that since we're both sad and single, we should start talking to each other more.
She told me to use Snapchat to send her photos about "everything". We ended up Snapchatting whole night.
She will be in town for a couple of days then she has to travel to another country because she has things to do, and she asked me out of the blue to come with her (unsure whether she means it).
Since she will only be able to see me in a couple of days, she said she would spend all the time with me.
I'm currently at the point where I'm just there for her as a friend to help her feel less sad, I'm not showing any sign of interests or indication that I want to have a thing with her. I'm just quite bad in reading girls intentions in general. We've been friends for over 10 years, we've never been involved though I did like her 10 years ago, but she freaked out about it then and rejected me. We just laugh about it nowadays. | friend started getting close to me, a lot of talking and she said a lot of things that I mentioned above. not sure what she's saying is a sign that she's into me or she's just sad about her break up. |
t3_37lkkv | relationships | My therapist sent me [21/f] home in the middle of a session because her next patient came an hour early. I'm hurt and feel like a may need a new therapist | I've been seeing my therapist for about a year now and she's been helping a lot. I arrived in her office at our scheduled time and I was talking to her for about 15 minutes when she heard the waiting room door open.
She went outside and saw that the next patient had come an hour earlier and she thought that maybe she got our times mixed up until she checked the schedule andc saw that she placed them an hour after me. She told me that unfortunately I would have five minutes to wrap up because I would have to come back later, although it was **my** appointment time.
I fought really hard to hold back tears because I was in the middle of really pouring my heart out about how my sexual abuse. She gave me a rescheduled appointment but I don't know if I'm going back because it's a 40 minute walk from my campus. I usually don't mind but it's so hot and I don't want to do that walk twice today.
She's been really great at helping me with my PTSD and overcoming my sexual abuse, but I feel that this was incredibly unprofessional and it made me feel like what I was saying didn't matter.
She told me that the patient was an evaluation so this would be her first time seeing them. Can you all give me advice on how to handle this? I've been feeling so shitty and my depression is getting worse and I really needed to talk about it because I feel like I'm close to just ending things. | Therapist sent me home in middle of appointment and I don't know if I should find a new therapist or if I'm overreacting. |
t3_g3j8o | dating_advice | The girl is confused and so am I on how to approach it | Her-23 me-21
So we've been acquaintances in a pep band for about a year now and recently I started thinking she was cute (Girl A). Last weekend we were on a band trip and one night we were playing some drinking games in my room and once people had started leaving and it was only like 5 of us she had been increasingly more physical towards me (just holding hands and general closeness nothing major. That night she voluntarily (hers was right next door) slept in my bed and we cuddled all night (which happened to be about 4ish hours since we had a ride back at 7am the next day.
Last night I talked to one of her close friends(Girl B) about what happened (she was in the bed with my room mate) and how I thought I might have feelings for her and if they were something that has a chance leading somewhere. Girl B said Girl A said I was cute but was also confused because she likes some other guy and doesn't want to mess things up with him if she has a chance but also is just confused about me as well.
Girl B suggested I just try and talk to Girl A but I am also confused because I am generally a shy guy and can get really awkward and have big fears of rejection.
Do I just let things progress naturally and do my best to let her know that I like her but not pressure her into anything or do I flat out tell her plain and simple I like her? or some other option that I am too tired to think of right now | I like a girl we cuddled one night she thinks I am cute but also has feelings for another guy and is really confused, whats my best plan of action. |
t3_4v2x43 | relationships | Me [20s] with my SO [20s] I feel like he is unwilling to compromise for me | Hi, I'm going to try to keep this as anonymous as possible. I've been with my fiancé for a little over 6 years. We are generally very happy.
We had talked in depth about moving to a big city, where I applied to jobs for him and set up everything so once we got jobs we would be good to go. However, he told me he would be moving only for my benefit and didn't really care much for the city I loved.
So I said okay, we would revisit the idea in a few years. Until we moved to our current apartment, I have had a dog for the last 15 years. I love dogs and have really felt so empty not having one! I'm a responsible pet owner and am good with training, so there are no behavioral issues of any kind.
Our current apartment is freaking awesome. It's in the non ghetto part of the city, bright and beautiful with plenty of space and the rent is low. (650 for a 3bedroom with hardwood floors!!!)
My fiancé wants to stay here because he loves it here, and so do i, but I think daily about having a dog and am always looking for pet friendly apartments.
He is easily stressed about money and wants to stay because of the low rent, and I keep trying to get him a higher paying job but he's clueless/lazy. He has a couple of years of direct experience and graduated from a really good uni. He also doesn't like his job and complains about it all the time.
So basically in my eyes, he has said no to a move I thought we were both on board with, and said no to finding a dog friendly place, and no to trying to better his job situation and alleviate his stress.
I can't tell if I am asking too much and am in the wrong, or if he is just refusing to compromise with me. Who is in the wrong? | fiancé shoots down us moving cross country, then to moving at all, and to finding a job. Can't tell if I'm the problem? |
t3_mer14 | relationships | Is this normal or am I crazy? | 23/f and 25/m - 9 months relationship.
Okay, I haven't been in a relationship in a while and this one has come on serious and fast. This sounds stupid but I just need to talk this out Reddit.
Backstory: Bf and I are emotional people, I'm a talker - he tends to shut down. It makes for awkward times when one of us is upset.
Boyfriend got mad at me the other evening because after a long day we were both grumpy yet still had a commitment in the evening. He asked for his sake if I could stay awake and happy and make the rest of the evening enjoyable. I told him I would try but I tend to completely check out when I'm absolutely exhausted. Later, he got mad that I "couldn't be happy for him", he just seemed to believe I was pouting and the more I tried to explain myself, the angrier he got. He finally said that he cares for me so much that if I am not fully happy, he can't be - and then he starts to resent me for it. I'm of the disposition to where my partner's mood affects me but instead of getting mad at them, I try to bring them back from it. I thought we were okay, so I started joking around (you know, light pillow talk before bed), he looked at me and just left. In the morning he drove me to work (as part of previous commitment) and seemed a hesitant to make plans, telling me he'd maybe talk to me later. We usually text during the day (but never a large amount since we see each other often) and he has been ignoring me for the past two days. Does he just need space? Am I being punished? I don't know how to handle this. I'm confused. I feel like this is a stupid thing to ignore someone over. We've had worse disagreements and have always come back to each other the day after. | Both angry. BF wants me to be happy for him. I can't hide my emotions well. He gets mad at me for being in a bad mood. Haven't talked for 2 days and is ignoring my attempts at contact. |
t3_qi4dy | AskReddit | I've seen some pretty amazing stuff on Reddit, can you guys help me find something? | I've seen Redditors scrounge up some neat fixes to problems so I was wondering if anyone had connections or knew of where you could possibly find some strange/weird lights. My girlfriend described it as a neon rainbow bar light that would react to clapping gestures of the hand. Frankly I'm clueless as to where I could find this (she told me that she saw it at Planet K, or Spencers). I've tried searching numerous times but have not found anything close to it at all.
Another thing is that I don't exactly have the money to spend on a luxurious gift. The bright side is that her birthday is late-August which is half a year away. As a subtopic (not sure if this is allowed...) I'd like to ask for suggestions (no need to be specific) for birthday gifts! | Girlfriend want's a special light, rainbow "bar" light that hangs on the wall, reacts to hand clap gestures. Tried searching through Spencers and many sites with no avail. Help! |
t3_omm5z | relationships | Relationship is stuck in a rut, what do I do? | I am 20 and my boyfriend is 19. We have been together for a year and three months. We both go to college together and frequently visit each others families on holidays and weekends. Anyways, I need help.
When our relationship first began he was such a gentleman. He would buy me flowers and gifts. He was very eager to spend time with me and wanted to listen to all my silly stories I had to tell. Well now that we have been going out for a while I feel like things have slowed down to a halt and we are in a rut.
He isn't a gentleman anymore. He doesn't do any of the things I have previously mentioned. There is absolutely no romance whatever, but it also seems like he has just stopped caring. When it comes to sex it is more of "hey babe want to have sex?" and that's it. No seduction, no sexiness, we just bang, say good game and go back to whatever it was we were doing before. I have told him that I need a little romance and I have even given him suggestions of things to do. And every time I say these things he just kinda blows off what I say, like it goes in one ear and out the other.
On top of that it seems as if he doesn't even care about me or my life any more. He never wants to come over and spend time with me at my apartment. And many times he will blow me off to spend time with his friends or just to play video games. We hardly spend any quality time together. I have tried to be an example, and show him how to be romantic by leaving love notes, sending sexy texts, cooking him dinner, etc. But he never reciprocates them. Most of the time he doesn't even thank me for the things I do for him. I am not sure what to do, I feel as if I am nagging him, by repeating the same things over and over. I am being drained by this relationship and I just want things to be happy between us again. Please help me. What do I say or do? | boyfriend is no longer romantic, and seems as if he doesn't care. Even though I have done everything I can. |
t3_2gj8yp | relationships | I (18 M) just found out that my girlfriend (19) thinks that since we won't last, there's no point in really trying. | So we live in the same hometown, but we go to school 4 hours from one another. We've been going out for a little over a year. Today I did a psych study regarding couples and communication. I brought up the study and she said she didn't think we would last long so she thinks we shouldn't continue. We talked on the phone and said we would work it out. I told her if we were going to keep going, we should put this behind us and try to put our best foot forward. I feel like we've been in a kind of rut.
So I just need advice on how to "spark" something again. Another problem may be that we don't see each other much or skype much. All we do is text. I just want some advice. | Took a psych study that brought up problems. Need to find some spark of life to invigorate our relationship again. |
t3_tyc7b | dating_advice | Looking for advice: should I keep going or just stop? | Hello everyone. So, me 22 male and she's 21. I met her this semester on one of my classes, she came up and sat next to me and we started talking. At the beginning it was kinda weird since im pretty shy and shes really outgoing and we only met only twice a week (3 hr class and the lab) but as time passed I got really comfortable with her and we started breaking the touch barrier and flirting a bit.
As weeks passed I wanted to ask her out but me over thinking like always did not but we kept talking a lot in class and sometimes via text. Anyhow like a month ago I looked her up on facebook to add her and saw that she had a bf but had never before mentioned him. I got a bit disheartened about it but never brought the topic up with her.
Last week was our final of that class and after the test we talked a couple of minutes and I decided to go for it and asked her if she wanted to hang out this past weekend but she said that she could not since she had other finals and had to study (last day of finals is tomorrow) but that I should call her this week to plan something up.
I talked about this to 3 of my closest friends and they pretty much agreed that if she never mentioned the bf I should just go out with her and have fun and if she brought up the topic that I should be the one to decide on what to do, as in keep hitting on her or just become another guy friend which tbh I have no interest in. So what do you guys think? | Met girl, became kinda close, discovered via fb she has a bf that she never mentioned, asked her out anyway. |
t3_1ovtgz | dating_advice | [24,m] Getting back into dating...problems | So 2 years ago, I had my heart shattered into a billion pieces by my ex-fiance. It took me a long time to get over it, but I did..
Enter this week. This girl is checking out my old ass profile on some dating website...she looks cute in her pictures, so I initiate a conversation.
We meet up for a date tonight and it wasn't bad, but i have a few issues, or hurdles I just kind of want opinions on...
*Ok, #1 thing, i'm 24...she just turned 18, and it shows. She has no life experience, is super shy...just in the way she carries herself, her mind is in a different place
2nd...I'm not really attracted to her. She's cute and stuff but I'm just not super interested in her physically or otherwise. That "click" just isn't there.
The date was fine. It wasn't terrible, but there wasn't exactly fireworks...
After the date, she commented on the age difference kind of bothering her, and she asked how i felt...i said, basically, since we established that we aren't looking for anything serious, that the age difference is okay with me..
She more or less agreed and we both said we'll just keep it chill, not rush anything, and just take things as they come
But i kind of feel guilty because I'm dating this girl now, and I don't really have interest in her...does that make me a bad person? Like in the past, I've been super shallow with girls and stuff...and I feel like it would be good for me to maybe just try to date outside of my comfort zone, and just try to get on my feet. But because cause she's young, maybe this isn't a great idea, you know?
I kind of feel like I'm leading her on, even though we have both been up front about not wanting anything serious. I feel like it wouldn't be right just to dismiss her based on one date just because she doesn't live up to my probably unrealistic standards.
Should i jump ship, or would it be nutso to stick around and see where things go, even though there isn't much attraction or common ground? | this girl really likes me, but i'm only so-so about her. I want to keep dating her even though I'm not really attracted to her... |
t3_268dzb | personalfinance | My Uncle just offered to pay for my schooling. Now what? | My Uncle drunkenly told my brother and I last Thanksgiving that he would be willing to pay for some schooling in order to help us improve our lives. He gave us his business card, wrote his personal number down and told us to call when we were ready." I am 20 years old and my brother is 26. We've both taken some classes at a community college but not many. I have never had a large sum of money to put toward my career so I have no idea what to do with it. He never specified an amount but during the conversation he also said "I paid for you cousins schooling (which was around $12,000) and look at him now." My Uncle is pretty wealthy so if I asked for more I don't think he would turn me down, just be proud.
My mom lets me live at home for free and made my brother start paying rent when he was 25. Although it's embarrassing living with your mom, it's also means I'm living rent free for 5 more years. Her and I get along and she understands that living with her only now only helps my future.
I'm interested in a Mechanical Engineering degree but have no idea how to go about it besides just plucking away at General ed until I can transfer to Sacramento State. Should I just keep doing that? or? I hope this is enough information and the question is direct enough.
Thanks in advance. | Uncle offers around $12,000(maybe more) for schooling and I don't what my next step to take is as far as getting my Mechanical Engineering degree. |
t3_3qi1dj | relationships | Me [19 M] with my Girlfriend [18 F] How to stop being the "nice guy" ? | My girlfriend and I have been dating for 7+ months and things are going downhill and they need to be fixed. I have identified the problem as me being too much of a "nice guy". She even told me one night when we were both drunk that "I'm too nice and it gets boring". And she's right, at the end of the day I'm a doormat. I'm a pushover, I hardly ever get mad, I can't say no, and have trouble standing up for my self. I rely on her and put literally all of my effort into this relationship. Buying her food, clothes, gifts, etc and giving her everything she wants/needs while I get almost nothing in return.
Now my girlfriend has taken advantage of this and manipulates me. She's generally mean to me and never used to be like this because she knows she can without suffering any consequences.
How do I become that dominant, mysterious, commanding man that controls the relationship without being a douchebag? | Need to fix my relationship by stop being a "nice guy" and getting walked over without becoming a douchebag. Do not give me the "break up", "there are plenty of fish in the sea" answer please... |
t3_1gr9vt | legaladvice | [WA] Friend (minor) arrested during Mayday 2013 protests in Seattle, held for three days, no charges pressed at the time, now they're pressing charges | On Mayday 2013 in Seattle, my friend (16) participated in the protests non-violently, flashbangs or some sort of concussion grenades were thrown near where my friend was standing, disorientating him and causing him to be unable to respond to the officers' commands to disperse. He was arrested for "Failure to disperse," and held in juvie for three days before being released. No charges were pressed.
Now, more than a month later, they've come back and given him a court date saying that they've got evidence now that he "failed to disperse" and they're pressing charges against him. The people around him were vandalizing property, but he was not participating in that.
Is there any hope for him to get out of this one? He wasn't one of the people breaking things, nor was he violent towards anyone else, including the police. He already served three days in juvie without being charged (I don't understand how they were allowed to do that). | Minor friend was not violent at Mayday protests, but "failed to disperse" when told to by police, got sent to juvie for three days and released without being charged, now he's being charged. |
t3_2gjoup | relationships | My [31M] then-girlfriend [33F], now wife of 2 mos. had an emotional affair on me while we were dating. How should I feel about this? | It just came to my attention that wife was sending nude pics back and forth with a guy for two years while we were dating.
I found out that they had a fling before we formally began our relationship, but apparently the provocative e-mails, nude photos, and flirting never stopped.
Now we're married. I just found a bunch of pictures. It was still taking place 9 days before I proposed.
I have that nervous pit in my stomach. We've only been married two months now. I'm committed to her, I love her very much, but what transgressed is completely against my values. I would have never thought about doing anything like that to her.
Where am I supposed to go from here? | Found two years worth of pics, flirty e-mails between my then-girlfriend (now wife) and another guy. Now married, I'm finding myself in a predicament. Do I love or leave? |
t3_3dszcz | relationships | Me [25F] with [26m] just had second date (met online) who appeared male, but is transgender. | Hi.
This is a throwaway for fairly obvious reasons. I have a ton of reddit friends, and am fairly active on /r/OkCupid. I'd like to have some privacy.
I just went on the second date with a really, really awesome guy.
I messaged him first, asking his favorite subreddit. (I searched for users who had "reddit" in their profiles).
Our conversation was full of lengthy, interesting messages.
Our first date was at a brewery/pub that is quite famous locally for it's great brews.
I left totally entranced by him. I just wanted to know more. He was intriguing and interesting and interested in ME!
Anyway. I messaged him the next morning asking for a second date. He said he also had a great time, and was excited. We went to a comedy club and got fire-stone pizza afterward.
Again, the conversation was awesome. I invited him back to my place. He hesitated and said he wanted to get to know me better before "moving too fast".
I was surprised, but he asked if he could kiss me (I said yes!) He did. And then we were on our way.
The next day we were texting and he said, "I need to share something with you before our third date."
I was hesitant, but said okay. He said, "I was not born male. I'm a trans guy."
I said, "I'm not sure what that means, but maybe we should chat about it over a pint?"
He said yes, I asked when/where, he gave me a pub and said tomorrow at 7pm.
What the hell can I expect? I don't... I don't even know.
We haven't talked since we confrimed time/location for tomorrow.
I have been ruminating/freaking out for hours. Am going to bed. Hoping to wake up to some... some help? | Met a guy online. Really liked him. Second date was awesome. He told me he's trans, planning on a third date, but not even sure what to do?! |
t3_11lpg5 | dating_advice | have I been overly clingy? (20m/20f) | I started seeing a girl about a month ago. We have a lot of common interested like books, video games, politics, etc. So I went on a couple of unofficial dates with her. 3 to be specific. 2 were just us two, one was with her uni friends. We haven't kissed yet.
During the first 2-3 weeks of this, she was really responsive whenever I talked to her on fb, the convo was always good, and she'd always say goodbye with a "xx".
She has all her assignments due in the next week or so though, and she's been working on them a lot for the last week. She told me that during this period she doesn't really have a social life. But whenever I try and talk to her on fb, which is every few days or so, she takes ages to respond, doesn't really talk much and doesn't say goodbye with a "xx" anymore.
Also, she has never initiated convo over facebook, it's always me. I don't know what to do. Should I push and ask her to hang out again? Or should I just wait until all her work is done and then see if she wants to hang? I mean surely she could take half a day out to see me... | girl is giving me the cold shoulder, not sure if it's because she's genuinely busy or because she has no interest in me. |
t3_48hw25 | legaladvice | Dog almost bit someone when she burst into my house uninvited. Would I have been held liable for her injuries? | This takes place in Texas at a college town. I live in a house my mother owns with only my brother, me, and a roommate that doesn't have anything to do with this story.
The other night my older brother, his college friend 'Mark', and I were hanging out in the living room playing some games and having a good time. Seemingly out of nowhere, the front door was forcibly opened, making it slam into the wall as Mark's girlfriend came in drunk and screaming at him. Immediately, my short-haired pointer jumped off the couch next to me and was 2 seconds away from biting the intruder if I hadn't of grabbed her back leg and held on tight. My brother and Mark proceeded to kick her out and lock the door, not letting her back in. (Also, she drove here drunk, if that's relevant. It's obviously too late to call the police on that.)
Mark's girlfriend has never been to my home before and she was definitely not invited by either me, my brother, or Mark. Mark had told her where she was, but never invited her over either. She came in completely unannounced and started screaming, as she was apparently pissed at Mark for something. Understandable, my dog went into immediate attack mode, as she thought she was a threat with the girlfriend's violent reactions. Otherwise, she's the sweetest dog in the world and loves everyone.
My question is, would I have been held liable if my dog had bitten mark's girlfriend? Obviously, Mark has broken up with her no and he has texts that say not to come over and he'll be home in a couple hours. | Dog almost bit a friend's girlfriend who showed up to my house drunk, screaming, and without an invitation. Would I be held liable for her injuries if my dog attacked? |
t3_36zlid | relationships | [Infidelity] I [22 M] JUST found out my girlfriend of nearly a year and a half [18 F] cheated on me last night. I don't know what to do and I need some advice | I woke up this morning to a message from her one of her cousins. She had spent the night at her cousin's house and apparently brought a guy there when they all went out. I asked her about this and she was extremely vague, but confirmed it. I don't know anything about this kid or anything more, only that her cousin beat the shit out of this kid after finding them together.
I'm so confused. We were hanging out just before. No fights, no argument. Nothing. All she told me is that she didn't plan this, it just happened, but I don't know if I believe that. The kid is a stranger to the cousin, so she brought him over... I don't know what to do. What do I do? I'm so hurt, I trusted her. She always told me about how she was cheated on and could never do that to somebody. How do I date from here on out? How do I trust someone now that my trust has been thrown in my face?
Obviously this relationship is over. What do I do from here? What can I expect feelings-wise? I haven't cried or gotten angry yet, I don't really feel much of anything right now, but I'm fairly certain it's only a matter of time. Please, someone tell me what to do. | Girlfriend slept over cousins house. She brought a guy over and another cousin walked in on them and told me. She confirmed, but told me nothing else. What can/should I do? |
t3_qeg7p | relationships | Y U NO like sexy pictures?? | Okay, reddit. Here's my problem. My SO [30-m] and I [27-f] have been together for a little over a year. I don't remember when exactly, but at some point I started sending him 'naughty' pictures. He loved it! I've done it around 6 times now I think, so about once every couple of months. The response became less and less enthusiastic every time. The last time I sent some, I felt like I was being flirty and sexy and just a bit of a tease since he was out with his friends. But he didn't respond, at all. When we spoke the next day (he got home after I was asleep), I asked him how his night went, he said it was fun and he had gotten "distracted" a couple of times. Me: "Oh yeah..why's that?" Him: "Well I got this message while my phone was sitting on the table for everyone to see." Me: "Oh. I'm sorry, I hope it wasn't annoying or embarrassing." Him: "No, it was okay." Done. I said later that it wouldn't happen again and he seemed pretty happy with that.
So what the hell, reddit? Why doesn't he want me doing this anymore? I thought it was sexy and guys liked this kind of thing.
Problem#2 that stemmed from this. I'm having a moment of insecurity. I feel less sexy, or at least less sexy to him. But if I talk to him about this and I'm all insecure and needing to be reminded that he thinks I'm sexy, then that just makes me even less sexy because insecurity is about as far from sexy as you can get. So what's the solution? I need a little bit of a reminder from him that he thinks I'm hot, but I can't just tell him that's what I need without making the situation worse. I've even found myself tempted to get this kind of reminder from one of my guy friends. | 1) My boyfriend doesn't seem to like naughty pictures. Why?? 2) How do i tell him I need to be told I'm sexy without looking insecure? |
t3_4s2xxj | relationships | I [19 M] am afraid my paranoia drives away my best friends. | I have a **tendency to never clarify misunderstandings and have a hard time letting go of them**. Unfortunately after holding on to misunderstandings from weeks to months, **I become convinced that my friends are angry with me or hate me.** Eventually after much frustration, I bring up to them what I have a problem with, **only to realize it was all a misunderstanding and nothing was wrong.**
What triggers this is **usually a period of a few days when I haven't gotten the chance to talk to them.** I believe this could be because **my mind tends to try and assume what others are thinking.** I seem to **always assume the worst**, and this complicates many situations for me.
I believe it stems from my **fear of abandonment (from other friendships)** and I've also **seen this behavior in my Mom.**
**I want to change my behavior, and confront misunderstandings early so I can avoid becoming paranoid. What are some tips to go about confronting friends about misunderstandings? | My susceptibility to misunderstands, and tendency to avoid confrontation, makes me paranoid about whether my friends like me. Often times leading to confrontations where I realize I imagined most of the problems in my own head. |
t3_3f07xh | relationship_advice | [31/m] am I an asshole for wanting to leave (29/f) | I feel like a total dbag for wanting to leave my wife of 6 years. The only real reason I have is that I don't love her.
I used to be crazy about her, and I want that feeling again of being totally in love with someone, but I dont think its going to happen with her (we've tried couples therapy, reading books etc.).
I know its not supposed to be sparks for the rest of our lives, but I did think its supposed to be enjoyable, our relationship and sex life have fizzled over time.
I don't really find her interesting, she doesn't really have goals or feel driven to achieve anything amazing (I am driven and entrepreneurial, want to start my own business soon etc.). When we first got together she wanted to be a wife and mother, and I thought great that lines up with what I want.
With those ticked off, I kind of figured she'd have something after that, but not really. She has a job, but she complains a lot about that too, and to be quite honest she just talks and talks (a lot) and never really has a conversation with me. She gets very angry if I mention this.
She berates me for going to work events, social events, networking etc. which sucks because I love the buzz around that sort of thing.
We are civil towards each other, and can stick it out for the kids. She wants to be romanced but I dont really want to pursue her any more, which makes me feel like even more of an asshole. She's always been there for me, and supported me in a lot of ways, I feel so guilty for wanting to leave. I mentioned a trial separation once and she was furious and said that either its over or we're together.
[Also as an FYI: Part of the catalyst for me wanting to leave, is that I met a coworker about 18 months ago, and we have chemistry. Im not sure if she is in a relationship, but she drives me wild, the thought of even going out with her sets my heart racing, and Im kind of worried that I dont have that with my wife in about 3 years.] | reasons I want to leave my wife: I don't love her and I find her company unpleasant even though she loves and supports me. what would be good reasons to end a marriage? |
t3_1v61t4 | offmychest | I love you, but i cant let this friendship end | I have a friend, a best friend, one i cherish as i do my own flesh and blood, but she is my best friend. Why would that be a problem? Well she helped me out of an abusive relationship, she pulled me out of depression, and now she helping me trust again. She compliments me every day and when she does i smile from ear to ear, and my day, not matter how shit, becomes instantly better. But i cant ask her out, i have the balls to, i have asked out many girls before, but
Good god i love this girl, and i fear thag the flirts and hints she drops are my mind's misinterpretations. I need her now as a friend, and she needs a boy friend, (proven by many Skype calls together from her own words) which i want to be. I would be the happiest man alive, but i need her to be happy, and i want to wait till i know for sure it's what she wants. | The girl of my dreams is my best friend, and i cant find a way of going about asking her out with a chance of rejection and losing our friendship. |
t3_101ssq | relationships | My boyfriend [20m] seems to have chosen his Fraternity over me [22F] | We're going on 3 years dating, and it was amazing for the first 2 years. Recently there has been a lot more strain, partly because we were long distance for a while, and partly because he has been spending increasing time at his fraternity and less time hanging out with me. We usually see each other at least every other day, but he usually only wants to hang out if it's at the fraternity house.
As a 22 year old girl, I've already graduated college and work 5 full days a week. He is doing an internship and can pretty much choose his own hours, so he gets upset that I don't want to party every night. He stays up until 2 or 3 am every night, and only hangs out at his frat house. I can't convince him to go out with my friends and me, and he will rarely go to bars or apartment parties. I don't like being at the frat because I'm the oldest girl there by 3 years, and I just think it's really immature.
I still love him a lot, but it's been ages since he's asked me to hang out in a situation that wasn't at the frat house. I try to take him places and sometimes he'll agree, but he's almost never at my apartment and the only nights we spend together at at the fraternity. He assures me that this is only because classes haven't started yet (our school starts very late) and he is making the most of summer. It's putting a huge strain on me, though, because all of my friends go out on romantic dates and I'm just stuck drinking cheap beer with underage kids in a frat house.
He's never cheated on me, but lots of girls text him constantly and they're all over him when I'm at the frat. They know me as "Mrs. *his name*" so I know nothing fishy is going on, but it's still a little weird to me that he has so many girl friends. | I'm worried that my boyfriend is more into his frat than he is into me, and I'm not sure what to do about it. |
t3_2p8p1k | relationships | I[16f] found my dad[mid 50s] looking at Craigslist casual encounters. (Married to my mom for 17 years). Is he just curious? | So I got back from my job and found my father asleep on the couch with his laptop open. For details, he's in his mid fifties, has been married to my mom for 17 years, and works a very demanding job in which he is gone from 6am-6pm on a good day. I wanted to tell him goodnight and I saw that the computer was open and when I went to close it I saw that it was open to a casual encounter ad that had a woman looking for a educated man around my fathers age (along with profanity and slang).
I quietly backed away in shock because I didn't know how to feel. I did tell my mom and she went to talk to him after I went downstairs. I listened in and I heard him come up with a jumble of excuses including the name of a male coworker, and the fact that he was just curious. My mom then refuted this with the fact that he went directly to the ad- it wasn't totally like he was casually browsing. When she told him he would be sleeping on the couch- and he asked why- she said that his face explained it all. (Of course I couldn't see).
What I'm asking here is if he is just curious, or if this could be a sign of something more. They haven't had any disagreements lately and he always is affectionate and loving. He does spend some extra time out after work sometimes but he says he spends it at a restaurant that he does frequent often.
Reddit, what's your opinion? I'm feeling uncomfortable, confused, and slightly angry. Any personal expierence or opinions welcome. My mother is also looking for advice on how to handle it as well. Thank you so much. | Caught dad on ad for casual sex - been married to my mom for 17 years - not sure what this means. Advice welcome. |
t3_uy3yh | Pets | Hi r/pets, my dog is sick and I have no idea what to do. | Basically starting from the last two or three days my dog began to throw up his very frequently (around once or twice a day). The throw up is very watery and will usually have some leftover food bits in it. He is also very lethargic and practically sleeps or just lays on his bed the whole day now. He still responds when I call him up and is eager to go for walks but either than that he does nothing.
Also I probably can't take him to the vet (why else would I be here) because both of my parents are unemployed right now and I don't think we can afford it (but I'm sure if he is in dire need they will take him) and my dad, who usually does most of our families "stuff", is currently out of the country and may not be back for some time.
My dog is a 13 years old and is a mainly a Beagle.
I appreciate you for taking the time to read this and any opinions or advice you have to offer. | My 13 year old Beagle is throwing up a lot and I probably won't be able to take him to a vet. |
t3_t3pph | dating_advice | Messaged a friend of a friend to get to know her but its like pulling teeth. | So heres the deal. A friend of mine put a status up the other day that a friend of hers was tagged in. Just so happened to click on the girls facebook page and from her one picture she seemed really pretty. So I asked my friend what her deal was and was told she is single and I should message her. I did, told her why I was messaging her and who I was, or how I found her in better terms. Been asking her questions like what do you do for fun and so on but im getting one word responses. How do I change this or should I just let it go and see if she says more to me at another time and if not just forget it? | messages a friend of a friend and I am only getting one word responses back to my attempts to get to know her. |
t3_2ubjpj | relationships | My sister [15F] who knows little and is curious about sex wants to watch 50 Shades of Grey with her friends (and other sex-movies). I'm [21M] | Some context. We are from a religious conservative family. We are close, and she tells me almost everything. She's has only had 2 boyfriends, only done kissing. Because we are close and I am significantly older we sometimes talk about sexuality.
I'm happy to see her leave the phase when she would think that boys/men in commercials and movies looked disgusting, I had sometimes thought it might be unhealthy and a result of her education by my parents. She has a childhood friend (same age) with who she as been watching romantic movies with. they literally choose what movie they will watch based on the male actors looks. 1 year ago I would think that was impossible. "hot guy" wasn't even in her vocabulary lol
Today she told me that her colleagues from school /same age) are going to watch 50 shades at the cinema, and that she wants to go too. I told her the movie is about BDSM, and that it is a bad representation of what is good/safe BDSM, and not about... vanilla sex. She understood my point, but said she still wanted to go and believes the "shock" could help change her mind regarding this things.
After that discussion she told me to recommend her other movies that I would consider good (to watch with her childhood friend). I have no idea what movies would be those... I told her to learn about sex a film is probably not the best way, and then said we would talk later.
I hope this is the right subreddit... this is more about sexuality than managing relationships. | Sister still learning about sex is going to watch 50 shades on the cinema with friends, and I think this is a terrible idea. She also asked me what would be good movies as a replacement. |
t3_4w7ijj | offmychest | My boss killed his dog | As some background: I am a 24 year old female working for a smallish, but well-known and well-regarded company where I live. What the company does is irrelevant for this post.
My boss has always been a dick. He is mean to all employees, yells when things that aren't that important are slightly off, and is a very dismissive person in general. I have never liked him, but today is the icing on the cake.
The boss often brings his older dog in to work with him. She is a sweet dog whom I pet often while working at my desk, and she loves attention.
Today, I came in at my usual time. Shortly after I began work, the boss came in alone. I didn't think anything of it. On some level I thought to myself "oh he didn't bring his dog in today", but as I said I was not fazed.
We started work at 7:30am.
3pm rolls around. He asks "Where did *dogs name* go?"
We all reply that we haven't seen the dog all day. He jokes that maybe she has been in the car all day. After which, he goes to check his car.
Guess who left his dog in the car all day?
I won't get into the specifics of the temperature, but needless to say, the dog died from the heat.
I really liked that dog. She was super sweet and nice and getting old and she was a staple of the office.
I don't know what to do I just feel so completely sick to my stomach. I hate him so much for doing that to a poor animal who totally trusted him.
What planet is he living in where he can forget his dog is with him in his car?
I get it that sometimes accidents happen, but with all of the other awful personality traits he has I just can't even stand to be in that office. The whole day felt like an eternity.
Really I want to quit and get out of there. Another part of me obviously thinks that that is a rash and bad idea. I don't know what to do. | My boss left his dog in a hot car all day and she died. What do I do about my feelings of hatred towards him? |
t3_3om7pl | tifu | TIFU by lying. | Happened a few years back, when I was 10 yrs or so.
I had moved to the Middle East, due to my Dad getting transferred here, and lived in a flat-type system. I only had 1 or 2 friends since no one else in the building was around my age. We all became really good friends after some time since we had some things in common.
To the actual fuck-up now. Being small, I was always curious about one thing or the other, which got the good of me.
My Dad and Mom were going out for regular shopping and all, and I decided to stay back with my friend at my place. As my Dad was in a hurry a bit, he forgot to take a 20 Dinar note he had kept in the shelf along side his wallet, he obviously took his wallet but didn't notice the note kept along side it since he was in a hurry.
Now that piece of money got me really intrigued, I always wondered what if I could get that cash and keep it all to myself! Imagine the things I could do! Me being the little 10 yr old bitch, excuse my self from my friend for a bit, and silently keep the note in my pocket. Mind you it was 20 Dinar(Bahrain's Currency), which is a lot of money.
My Dad is mostly particular about money and when he comes back, he searches for the note in the shelf. He asks my Mom if she knows where it was but to no avail. I literally turned into a pussy lol and was shivering to death inside. I didn't have the guts to spill it out. My Dad kept on thinking maybe he spent somewhere and what not but he eventually gave up.
Remember the note is still in my pants and I completely forgot about it that night and slept off. The next day, it's laundry time, my pockets are checked by Mom always because I tend to keep chocolate wrappers and whatnot in my pockets.
Gone. Mom finds the note. Tells about it to Dad. Both call me in the living room. Got a superb lecture about it. Cried like an asshole. But hey, learnt my lesson and I haven't lied about stuff from then on. Or have I? loljk | Don't lie to your parents. Even if you are hiding something, just say it fucking right now! There's no point in hiding something till you get fucked up! |
t3_wjywc | relationships | Open relationship: Beginning to feel resentment since I feel l can't have fun. Details inside | So my S.O. (30f) of 6 months and I(27m) agreed on an open relationship (my suggestion). This week I went to a music festival but did not tell her since I didn't want to have her worry that I would be hooking up with people there (its quite a wild festival).
Once I arrive at the festival she texts me that a close friend of her has died and that she would like to see me for support. Since I lied about what I'd be doing for the weekend I just told her that I was tired and probably staying home for the weekend
She then became angry at me that I couldn't drive 10 minutes to comfort her (Although on reality I am 4+ hours away at the festival.)
Now I am heading back to go see her and had to leave the festival early. I still haven't told her that I was away, I feel that it would be worse to tell her the truth at this point. I.can't help but feel resentful since I had been looking forward to this festival for months now and I basically got zero enjoyment out of it since I was worried about if she was OK and also due to her sending me angry texts (Not to mention the total cost was about $400 for tickets, gear, food and transportation). I am now on the bus back and am having thoughts of just breaking it off with her although obviously now would be a bad time since her friend passed.
Am I just an insensitive asshole or a chump? What are your thoughts? | Open relationship, lied to gf told her I was going home and went to music festival instead. GFs friend passes away, on bus back early to see her. Feeling resentment, am I a dick? |
t3_41l7hu | legaladvice | [Southern CA] Copyright regarding music video I shot | Around Thanksgiving I was hired to spend a week filming a band as they toured with a very well known group to create a music video for one of the songs that they performed live. The agreed upon rate was $500 which was agreed upon verbally without a contract. (it was a a referral from a good friend)
Anyways, I delivered a final cut in December and basically was met with silence from the group's management. Took me awhile to figure out what was going on; but, basically, the group members loved the video however their label did not.
So their label went out and had them re-shoot something with some video guys (without my knowledge) and I finally saw a cut of their new version and it's awful (looks like a corporate music video). But, that's not important, what matters is that their plan is to splice my version into their version.
One of the reasons I agreed to the exceptionally low rate was for the exposure as they're gaining popularity. If they're going to create some Frankenstein mis-matched music video that completely erodes my benefits from the project.
And so, since they had not paid after ≈45 days, I emailed their manager saying that I was not okay with this and wanted to re-negotiate terms as I still own copyright on all of my material, had yet to sign anything, and have not been paid.
I'd like to make them several offers... such as allowing them to pay the original $500 and post my original video without any edits. Another would be for a significant increase in my fees if they are insistent upon combining the two videos together. And perhaps lastly, not agreeing to anything if there not willing to pay an increased amount and withholding copyright from them for violation of the agreement.
So is everything I've proposed all within my legal rights? Any suggestions? I'm not looking to be a difficult person to work with, I just do not like being taken advantage of by people with rampant egos. | Shot music video. Label hasn't paid after close to 2 months and wants to make significant changes for no reason without telling me. I'm not okay with this. Exerting my copyright claims to ensure I don't get screwed. |
t3_2sroyw | relationships | Is there anything wrong with a relationship with traditional gender roles? (Me: 25F Him:29M, together for 1 yr and living together) | Hello there, and thank you for reading this.
My boyfriend and I have been living together for most of our admittedly short relationship. We hit it off really well and both fell hard, and it turns out we have very similar interests, and similar world views. We can just talk all day and he makes me feel wonderful. I love him, and I have no doubts about wanting to spend the rest of my life with him.
But when it comes to work,he is the one earning the money (works from home) and I clean and cook and make him cups of tea and give him massages and occasionally tie his shoes, and I'm very happy in this distribution of roles. One thing to keep in mind here is that he is physically disabled and can't always do household stuff anyway, but that is not the reason I do this.
I am not a stupid woman or a gold digger, I have a university degree and have worked full time before. But I just really enjoy the role of the demure housewife, it has greatly reduced my anxiety attack and hallucinations, I feel like a mentally healthy human being for the first time in a long time. He is never demanding, always loving, and when I feel down he even cooks for us (even if it's just pizza).
The problem I face is the values taught to me from my upbringing. Feminism has done a great deal for women, and my mum was always insistent on me being independent from men and earning my own money. She constantly begs me to get a job and I always have to blame my mental health for not getting one, when in reality I enjoy being a housewife. But it leaves me second guessing myself - am I wasting my intelligence? Am I just lazy? Should I just go and get a job already? I also feel like I'm betraying women everywhere who fight for the right to work. | what I really want to know is: am I allowed to be a housewife in this society or should a relationship only work if I am working, too? |
t3_1tgs3h | relationships | How do you identify good potential friends? | Season's greetings everyone; I hope you are all well.
I'm (26/F) getting over a break up with someone I really loved and one of the things I've taken from it is that I want a stronger group of friends around me. I've only been in my current city for nine months, so I'm not beating myself up too much, but I've made mistakes with friends in the past and am not sure how to identify people who will be good friends. I have no trouble meeting people, but translating that into lasting friendships? So tricky.
My personal issues to overcome are 1) I'm typically not good at making friends with other women. I'm not sure why. I think I'm scared they'll reject me or we won't have anything in common. I'm trying to work on this. The second problem is 2) many people I thought were awesome friends ended up having romantic designs and weren't really the strong friends I thought they were. The final issue I've had is 3) when I find someone I really click with, I'll do all I can do be a good friend to that person, and I've often found that when push comes to shove they don't reciprocate.
I'm really curious what personal green flags and red flags do you guys have for potential new friends? How do you identify someone who'll be good to have in your life? What should I be on the look out for on my friend quest? | Trying to make new and better friendships. What green flags should I look out for and what red flags should I avoid like the plague? |
t3_20n7bv | personalfinance | I need to transport numismatic coins and gold bullion across the country, what are my options? | This is one part of a whole long series of having money moved into my control. I'll probably be posting periodically to ask for advice and I've already started poking through some of the suggested subreddits.
Basically: I am being given control of a trust in my name this upcoming Friday. As a note I thought I was going to be given this control in a year from now, so I'm more rushed than I have intended on being when this happens.
My parents who have control of the trust currently are sending me a list of the bullion and coins they have in a safe currently. It's not an option to keep it there due to my lack of trust in them. I am willing to spend the money necessary to transport it over, but I understand that I will need to insure it and this might be a whole process.
I'd like to get it sent over as quickly as possible but don't want to make any egregious errors.
As a side note, there are SO MANY crazy gold websites that keep getting suggested to me when searching for information on google. | I have a large amount of numismatic coins and bullion that need to be moved across the country quickly but correctly. What do I do? |
t3_118f0j | relationships | Help with explaining flippant remarks of the Facebook generation to my (f26) annoyed parents (m83 and f61)?! | I accidentally unchecked my custom list on Facebook, and made a post that has hurt my parents feelings.
They've been supporting me while I study, and recently got me early Xmas present tickets to a band I've loved forever, because I couldn't afford it.
There's a whole heap of events coming up, and I flippantly posted 'someone buy me these tickets because I'm a giant hipster and I'm poor'.
I've deleted it at their request, and I understand it was quite spoilt/entitled/insensitive of me. I really appreciate their financial help and often get really guilty about it.
They seem to think that everyone who read it will take it literally, and that it's saying that they don't support or care about me in any way.
I think this is a misinterpretation - anyone who reads it (people my age) will know it just means 'don't have the cash flow this week'.
Have I just been an outright dick, and is there anyway I can soothe my parents' feelings? And just explain Facebook to them I guess. | I'm a lucky and spoilt grownup child, and have hurt my parent feelings unintentionally through goddamn social media. Any ideas? |
t3_270dvb | relationships | I(17 m) really want to ask this girl(17 F) out, but she has a thing for another guy(17m). Please help me | So about 2 months ago, I met this girl, Mary in my Biology class. We quickly hit if off and became really good friends. We have so many similar qualities, likes and beliefs. After a few weeks I started to like her and wanted to ask her out, but we both had a lot of AP testing along with work, so we had no time.
Right after AP testing though, she went to a movie with another guy, and then she kept referring to him as a friend whenever I talked to her. I don't know what to think of that because some mutual friends of the guy and i say that they have a "thing".
Its now the last week of school and really the only outside contact I have of her is Facebook. I would love to ask her out but, I want to make sure its a yes before I do.
See I have a huge problem with confidence because I'm that guy that girls continually see as a friend or reject completely. I have never ever had a girlfriend. I work out and in great shape. I always compliment every girl I talk to. One of my flaws is that I'm socially awkward. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm so sick of getting rejected that I want to make sure this one is a yes before I ask. | I like this girl but she may have a thing for another guy, and my confidence is so low that I want to make sure this is a yes before I ask. Please help me |
t3_1swmid | relationships | Me [20M] and a girl [19F] I've just met, but I'm unsure about it. | This is my first post on relationships so excuse anything against the rules.
So here's the story. Last month I got on well with a girl, one of my friend's mates, at a uni party, we kept in touch and my friend said that she took a bit of a liking to me. In the meantime I had developed a small degree of feelings towards one of my housemates. Last week however, I got together with this girl, nothing too serious but it confirmed my friend's suspicions that she likes me, so we went out for a drink, chatted a bit, and got on really well. Over the past few days I've met with this girl a couple more times and I finally decided to ask if this is going anywhere serious, to which she replied "Well we're not really going out, we're more 'seeing each other'". I asked my friends what this means and apparently it's more of a casual thing that we've got going. Not that she'll go sleeping around but that it's not anything too serious at the moment, but there's definitely the chance that it'll develop into that.
In the meantime the one I have feelings for has gone home for christmas, so I have a few weeks to decide on what to do. I'd love to ask her out, but I'm stuck as to what to do with the first one. I like her, but I'd be happier with the housemate. If it backfires I'm left with neither. What would be the best course of action to take on this?
Again, excuse me if I've left out any information or stuff like that, I'd appreciate any advice on the matter and if anyone needs more info I'll do my best to provide.
Thanks :-) | Confused between "Seeing someone" and "Going out with someone", trying to decide between asking out a girl I like or "seeing" one I've just met. |
t3_1vjkdd | relationships | I'm cautious about my (29M) new girlfriend (26F) becoming friends with my friends too quickly. | I (29M) have been dating someone (26F) for a couple months and the relationship is going very well. In these past two months we've already met all of each other's friends. She has gone on a weekend trip with me and all of my friends, as well as to a wedding and a couple other social events.
I found out a few days ago that one of my female friends (Stacy) had invited my girlfriend (Anne) to some sort of girls' brunch with her and a few of my other female friends. Anne declined because she has plans for whatever day it is supposed to be, but it kind of bothered me that Stacy invited her.
My communication with Anne is very open. When Anne mentioned the invitation to me, I explained to her that even though our relationship is going really well so far, it would kind of freak me out if she started hanging out with my friends because if our relationship ends up NOT working out, it turns into a tangled mess if she becomes part of the friend group.
Her hanging out with my friends without me (essentially making my friends her friends) is a concept I need to warm up to a bit, and I think it's a little soon for it. I wouldn't go calling Anne's male friends to hang out with them without asking her first, or without her knowing, and if one of them invited me to something, I would definitely ask Anne first if she was comfortable with it. Anne seemed to understand where I was coming from when we discussed it.
My questions are:
- Is it reasonable to want to have some control over the relationship between my friends and my girlfriend before I'm sufficiently satisfied that my relationship with my girlfriend is "strong enough" to last?
- Did Stacy step out of line by not asking me first if it was okay to invite Anne?
On one hand, I of course can't tell anyone what to do, but on the other hand I think it's reasonable to expect that my friends and my girlfriend respect my wishes as far as what I'm comfortable with when I'm getting involved in a new relationship. | I have a new girlfriend, and my female friends are inviting her out without me and I'm not comfortable with that just yet. Reasonable? |
t3_l00gl | AskReddit | How can I get rid of bad friends? | I am a 23 year old female. I have known most of my friends for a very long time (since middle school). Nowadays all they do when they get together is literally sit on the floor and say awful things about other people. I used to gossip right along with them but it got me into some tight spots and I realized I'm really not into the drama. I'm trying to better myself and focus my time and energy on new hobbies and activities. I have explained to them that I don't want to contribute to their gossip, but they don't seem to want to stop. I don't want to preach at them about how gossip is bad so whenever I'm with them I just sit in silence. We also don't really have any of the same interests. I like to browse the internet and read and do outdoorsy stuff and they like to party and go to clubs. So, in short, my friends and I have drifted apart. However, they don't seem to recognize this and are sort of clingy. I have started making new friends that have similar interests but I feel like my time is divided between these people that I want to spend time with and my old friends who(m?) I feel an obligation to.
My real problem is that I feel uncomfortable saying no to people. I don't like to make people mad or to hurt their feelings. I find myself saying yes to hanging out with people when it is really the last thing I want to do. So, my question is, how can I learn to do this without feeling so queasy about it? How can I slowly drop my old friends? I hope I'm not coming off as selfish or conceited or anything, I am just genuinely looking for advice. Thanks for your time. | I have a hard time saying no to people I don't like. How can I learn to say no to them in order to stop being friends with them? |
t3_22mtvh | relationships | Me [23 M] looking for guidance/help | This is going to be a lengthy post, so I apologize in advance. If it's not an appropriate question, please let me know and I'll remove it. Also, thank you in advance for any guidance, insight, or direction you can offer.
I started reading Reddit about a year ago after I got out of a two year relationship. I took that break up really hard, and it sucked moving out when we made a home together, but I knew that we were not a good fit. Reddit helped me rebuild myself into a better, more confident man as I reentered the dating world. After a handful of dates, I started a relationship again about six months ago. Now that relationship has ended and I'm taking it pretty hard.
I'm just afraid I'm bad at meeting women. I don't really like to go out to bars or clubs much, and I don't know where else to meet interesting women who I might be interested in, and whom will be interested in me. I'm genuinely afraid of being alone forever at this point (as illogical as that is for anyone to fear).
A little about me: I am 23. I suffer from some depression/anxiety that has gotten worse over the years and got severe after the most recent break up. I am currently in therapy getting it treated and seeing about medication next week. I am in a clinical psychology Ph.D. program. I think I'm average looking. I try to be well dressed. I ride motorcycle, cook, into classic film/literature, hit the gym ~5 days a week, bicycle, and I'm starting fencing.
I guess what I'm wondering is, where can I meet women with my busy schedule? How can I make myself more confident and attractive? I'm just feeling a bit lost and worried and I'm looking for any guidance. | multiple break ups messed me up, wondering if where and how to meet women again, feeling lonely and lost, looking for guidance/input into how to rebuild myself again |
t3_1frztv | jobs | Retail job(s) dilemma: Stay and wait for bor leave for less pay | Currently, I work at a Goodwill Store - 30 to 35 hours per week. I receive donations and sort them into different categories. My workplace is somewhat hazardous. It's a little dusty in the production room. Sometimes, I need to climb over a half-wall to grab a wood palette and bulk box, and walk along the wall, lifting each over my head to avoid the scratching/breaking the sold furniture. My wrists hurt from carrying and throwing bags and boxes of stuff over my head into piles, in order to keep our pathways clear. My lower back is slightly sore. I have a wicked watch tan, even though I wear sunblock. So, you can imagine that the job is taking a toll on my health.
I get along with all my co-workers, including my manager. But I'm somewhat stuck as a donation attendant here because 1) we're short-handed in donations, 2) I'm a young(er) male who can lift heavy stuff, and 3) only cashiers (off the record) have been promoted to 3rd key holder.
I'm interviewing for a position at Target. If I get the job, they want me for the weekends, which I have no problem with, but they only offer 20 to 25 hours. So I may need to have my hours reduced at the Goodwill, or quit the Goodwill altogether - possibly severing my rapport with everyone at the Goodwill since we're already short-handed. Even if I stay with hours reduced, I can forget about any promotion.
Do I take the 20-25 hour job at Target, and risk losing (quitting) my current job. Or do I wait for a better retail opportunity? Thanks in advance.
Side-note: During my time off, I'm studying/coding for front-end web development. The better I get at this, the sooner I can/hope to leave retail. | I dislike my current job at the Goodwill, but I need the money. Thinking about splitting my time between there and Target. I might need to quit the Goodwill altogether, but Target only offers 20 to 25 hours. |
t3_2wkqfx | relationships | Boyfriend [19 M] thinks he's not good enough for me [20 F] because he's short. | So, I've been with this guy for two months and before that we were best friends for six months.
Everything in our relationship is great but I just found out yesterday that my boyfriend is really self aware of his height and it affects him a lot to the point that he thinks I'm going to end up breaking up with him because he remembers during our friendship I mentioned I liked tall guys and that stuck with him since then.
Now, I'm not exactly tall myself, I'm 155 cm and he is 169 cm and yes, I usually go for taller guys but I don't mind his height. He is still very good looking, he has a fit body, his funny, his charming, his intelligent and very interesting and fun to be with.
I explained that to him but he still feels like crap and he told me is an insecurity that always affected him.
My question is, will he still grow? His father is 180 cm and his mother is 150 cm. I read somewhere that men tend to grow until 21. He goes to the gym weekly, he is very active in general and eats healthy. Has anyone gone through the same as him? Will he grow? Again, I'm asking this for him and not for me, I don't mind him being short. | Boyfriend is short (I don't mind him being short) and feels like shit but has tall dad and really good and healthy habits, will he ever grow? |
t3_erui3 | AskReddit | Need advice: My upstairs neighbor is verbally abusive towards his mother. (xposted in /r/montreal) | The elderly woman living upstairs my parents', I've heard her son yell at her numerous times, so loudly that I can sometimes hear him clearly shout "shut up" more than once and for her to stop bothering him. They're violent screams. Sometimes I even hear thumps, objects dropping and furniture being moved around.
I'm often at my parents and I hear him almost every time. It happened again a few nights ago, and once more, I froze. I felt like a coward for not doing anything at the moment and once the noise stopped.
I don't know how to handle this, I want to report it without causing further trouble for her... as in... if ever cops came to investigate and left, I'd be afraid of her son being even more abusive towards her if he thinks she's the one who called the authorities on him. I also don't want my parents to encounter any problems if he figures out we're the neighbors who did this.
What do I do?
She has been living upstairs way before my parents and I moved in when I was a kid. It's always been her and her son. I've never had any real contacts with her except waving to each other when she's looking out her window. We did that for years, every day when I came back from school, she was there. Then I grew up, started working full-time, got a life and would come home very late.
Just tonight, I went over to have dinner with my parents, I saw her walking to the window and looking out for the first time in years... I waved at her, but she didn't do anything. Either she didn't see me or doesn't recognize me anymore. This made me a bit sad. | Son screams at his elderly mother so often that my parents and I are scared for her. What do I do without any backlash against her and my parents as neighbors? |
t3_16fck0 | pettyrevenge | Loud noises make for great revenge | I use to work at a Kroger Fuel Center a couple years ago. As fuel jockey, I had to deal with a lot in terms of passive aggressiveness from some of my coworkers. Ashley, the passive aggressive coworker, has a certain persniggety way of working in the fuel center. Don't have the cigarettes in a perfectly symmetrical line? Cue thirty minute bitchfest about how to do the cigarettes, "correctly" and a three paragraph note about how to do it. You get the picture I hope. Well, Ashley and I ended up not getting along at all; so after receiving one bitchout too many I decided to act petty and vengeful. Ashley was one of those people who constantly complained about being sleepy and how she hated mornings. In our fuel center we had an alarm clock and I saw that she had a morning shift one day after a particularly bitchy episode. Our morning shifts start at 5:45 AM and so I set the alarm for 6:00 AM to the loudest volume and the most static filled channel. Her face as I came in on the subsequent shift after made my whole day! | bitchy coworker who hates morning shift gets a loud "wake up call" to ensure she has a great rest of the day. |
t3_35gy9q | relationships | My boyfriend [M19] was diagnosed with ASPD (psychopath). Do you think he could love me [F19]? | We've been going out for 2 years and we live together. The whole time I've known him, he's been very antisocial. He always stays home, never goes out. Lately he's been getting a lot of headaches. The doctor suggested he see a psychologist. After 7 sessions the psych finally managed to diagnose him and now he's being referred to someone who deals with personality disorders.
One time at a party a guy bumped into him and made some condescending comment, my bf just walked away, but he was literally twitching in anger the whole night. Often when we go on dates, he'll just come up with some random persona out of nowhere and literally act like that all night. He'll stop if I ask him to but he seems to enjoy pretending to be someone else. I thought it was just him having fun. I guess it still is, but it just seems so much more nefarious now. These things occurred to me after he told me his diagnosis.
I didn't know what it was when he told me. But we researched it together and he said that most of the symptoms seemed right. He said he used to get into trouble a lot, but he learned how to control his anger and "read people." He said he realized he was different early on and learned how to adapt. I have a problem with it because people with ASPD supposedly can't get close to anyone. He agreed and said that he can't get close to anyone, but I'm the exception, that he loves me. I'm not sure what to do. I want to believe that he loves me. I know that he's the same guy as he's always been, but honestly I'm a little scared of him now. I think it's a good sign that he told me what it is because people with ASPD are supposed to have trust issues, but he trusted me with this. I know that he doesn't trust anyone else though. Aggghhhhh. I need some advice. | My boyfriend [M19] was diagnosed with ASPD (psychopath). Do you think he could love me [F19]? |
t3_3b13gs | relationships | Me [25 F] feels like guys only want me for sex | OK, so this is my first post ever so bear with me...
I am asking for advice on how as a women you can portray yourself
differently so that men don't see you only as a sex object.
I have always felt like a highly sexual person and find myself the
type of person who falls for a particular person quickly and hard. It's
not necessarily based on a sexual connection on my part, but more
of a chemistry that I feel with these people, and it's very few,
selective people. I find a lot more guys that I feel nothing for fall
hard for me. I am at a point in my life where I want a relationship
with passion and chemistry, and hopefully find the person I fall in
love with and marry. I feel like guys only want me for a sexual
relationship and I cannot for the life of me understand why it seems
that's all they want. I am a very committed woman, and think I bring
a lot to a relationship, I have a big heart and care a lot about the
people in my life. I'm confident, ambitious and I think sometimes I
don't let the guy take the lead, but heck that shouldn't be a deal
breaker in my opinion. The last relationship I was in was for 3 years
and the person I was with never wanted sex, and never actually
loved me or told me he did. It was a very, very, very strange
relationship so I think I feel like for 3+ years I've not been loved
very much. I also sort of have a fear of being alone, but equally a
fear of ending up divorced. My parents never had a good
relationship and all I want is to live a simple life, with a
fucking white picket fence, some horses, on a lake, and of course
with a man I love and loves me back unconditionally... | My questions is...what do I need to do differently to be taken seriously to find a relationship that balances love and sex?? |
t3_4krd6g | personalfinance | Buying a bookstore? What do I ask? | My wife is friends with a woman who has owned a bookstore for 18 years ( it's been in business for 41 years) This woman is retiring and asked her if she wants to purchase the business. I'm concerned about the long-term viability of the bookstore although I've read several articles recently about a resurgence in paper book sales. A someone who has never owned a business, what information do I need to know, what questions should I ask to determine if this is a good investment. What kind of ROI should I aim for in the short term and long term? Any advice would be appreciated. | Have a chance to invest in a small business. What do I need to know or ask going in so I can make the right choice? |
t3_4kziw5 | relationships | My girlfriend [25F] of two years asked me [30M] to pretend we're just friends at our graduation so that her religious parents don't get upset. | I just graduated with my girlfriend from our graduate school, we have been together for two years and chose to go to the same post-graduate program so that we could stay together. The problem is that her parents are religious and likely won't approve of her dating me, she is worried that they may disown her. She is waiting until she has an income before she tells them.
She has met my entire family and has spent several weeks staying at my parents house, but she asked me to pretend we are not together and she asked my parents to not acknowledge that she stayed with them if we met her parents at graduation.
I was upset by this and I avoided her at graduation because I didn't want to put myself or my family in a position where we have to lie to her parents too. My brother said he would "spill the beans" to her parents if he met them so I didn't want that either. Now we are in a big fight because we didn't get to spend graduation together and don't have any pictures together because I choose to keep my distance and left early.
I feel like an asshole for how upset I made her, but at the same time I feel that pretending to be just a friend when I meet her parents, after 2 years of being together, would be very disingenuous. Eventually I want to tell her parents that we have been together for a few years, I don't want to deny the last two years of our relationship and pretend we are just starting to see each other.
Am I being unreasonable? What would you do? | I chose to avoid my girlfriend of two years at our graduation rather than meet her parents and pretend to be just a friend, am I a shitty boyfriend for not being supportive? |
t3_tv1z3 | AskReddit | Help buying plane tickets! Time-sensitive, but tight-cashed to boot! | Hey /r/askreddit , I've got an issue buying plane tickets.
So I was watching the prices dip and doge all over the place with about a month to go and Bing telling me to wait a bit (With 67% certianty) that prices -could- drop.
Well, I placed a bad bet and now they're expensive and it would break my budget I set for the trip. I can still afford it, but I don't want to go over-budget and be irresponsible about this.
Doing some more digging, I found out about Priceline's 'Name your own Price' feature - which can get you shitty flights that get you where you need to go for pretty cheap. Awesome! Flight I need at a price in-budget, what could go wrong?
The timing. That's what.
It's for my wife's birthday, and I have the time off for the day of, and a few days after. Flights I were looking at would leave after I got off work - and have me there by midnight at the latest.
Well, Priceline's feature clearly guides you in saying that - "At best, you can pick the day you want to leave, but for the best deal keep at least 24 hours flexible."
I would pick Saturday, because I have the day already off - but if the flight is too late in the evening I'll miss her birthday altogether!
However, if I pick Friday, and the flight is too early, I'll miss work and upset my boss(es)!
A co-worker suggested, that I "miss" my flight if it's too early and go on Standby, hoping that a later flight (That I could make after work) will have seats to take me along.
Now, this will all depend on the Airline's Standby policy (and I won't know what airline I'm on until *after* the tickets are bought) but its' worth thinking about if it can save me a few hundred bucks.
All in all, I'm pretty sure I'm screwed - but I'm not a frequent enough traveler to know all the ins and outs. | I'm looking to fly on the cheap, last minute, with a tight budget and an inflexible schedule. What are some of the things I can do to make it happen? |
t3_3mkbz5 | tifu | TIFU by wanting to take a nap | Okay, so this happened yesterday but I'm still feeling it today.
I'm a fresher at uni, living in halls. So we all have our separate rooms and share just the kitchen, this kitchen becomes the social hub n whatnot.
So yesterday afternoon I come back to my hall from a book club meeting to find two of my flat mates asleep in the kitchen. I say hi, grab a drink and sit down at the centre table.
For some reason, the sound of people sleeping also made want to sleep, I feel asleep on the table. I wake up thinking 'why nap on the table when I can nap on my bed'
I get up, my leg is dead but fuck it my room isn't far away. I walk two paces and my dead ankle gives way, I fall and my flat mates wake up pissing themselves laughing.
Turns out I fell funny, sprained my foot and now limp everywhere. Flat mates now call me peg leg. | fell asleep in my kitchen, leg fell asleep, tried to get to bed, fell and sprained my foot. Fuck. |
t3_54z3sl | relationships | Me [16 M] with my classmate [17 F] How should I get to know her | There is a girl in the grade above me who I've liked since 7th grade, but only had a huge band class with her, I've had little contact with her, but know her a little bit.
This year I have two classes with her, including on with 6 people, and she's laughed at a couple of my jokes. Today she came up and talked to me and my friends in a class and I completely blew it, I could of talked about a trip she just came back from but I just made an ass of myself.
I'd like to date her but I want to get to know her first. Should I DM her on Insta, or should I walk up and talk to her | I've known a girl for a long time, but never really been in contact, I just fucked up a conversation, should I try and talk to her in person, or DM in Instagram. |
t3_1n99s7 | dating_advice | I keep choking when I see this girl I want to ask out. | Throw away
There's this drop dead gorgeous brunette that works at a local bank, that I go to for work a couple times a week. We smile and chat with each other here and there, when I pull up to the drive up window, but its only a few minutes here and there.
Im always choking after I get my stuff back, and wind up driving away angry at myself. Every.Single.Time.
she gives me my receipts back, tells me to have a nice day and walks away, I feel awkward trying to get her attention to ask her, and keep trying to find that moment where it can fit in at the right time. The days where I do go, all confident that Im going to, theres always something, like other customers so I have to deal with someone else, or she starts to help and then someone else comes in to finish because the phone rings.
I sit there , reciting over in my head "hey, would you be interested in grabbing a drink one day after work?" Or anything else similar, then its just Here ya go, have a nice day SpewedFood, and I say thanks you too and leave, and then get around the corner and call myself a pussy.
And then I feel awkward to turn around and go back there just for the main purpose of asking. or to go there if I dont have a reason to go to the bank | havent asked a girl out in years, theres this pretty girl at my bank, but too pussy to ask her out after many attempts, and keep choking, fuck me right.. |
t3_2odczd | Advice | Simple stuff: Should I have stayed at school with this girl today? | So for some context, I'm 17 and today I had to got to sixth form for the last period of the day. I head to class and I find out it's been called off because of some confusion which lead to most students heading home thinking no class was on. Well apart from me and a girl I'll call Emma here.
We both had an essay to complete in class, and the class being cancelled was a lifesaver as I hadn't revised for the essay. She's a bit miffed now because she can't go home yet as she has rehearsals in an hour. I've known her for a long time but we've been nothing more than casual friends.
Anyways, I get ready to head home again and we walk together back to the common room so I can I sign out and leave. As we're walking back I joke about school and work and she's obviously enjoying the conversation. We reach the common room and turns out it's bloody empty as everybody else is either at home or in their last lesson.
As I'm signing out she reminds she has nothing to do for an hour and asks if I've got any ideas. I don't have anything to do for an hour apart from sit in a shite London commute, but it doesn't occur to me that maybe she wants to sit and talk more.
Instead I just say "right, I'm off, see you." She responds with "*Oh,* err... bye?"
Only as I'm walking alone in the pouring rain, to catch the bus and do fuck all for 40 minutes do I realise that maybe I could have used that hour with her. Clearly we had a lot to talk about, I could have even asked her to go through some of the work for the essay we had to do for the cancelled class - or we could have just continued chatting.
I'm home now, and she probably just spent the last hour completely alone in the common room waiting for her rehearsals. My question is, **am I an idiot for not staying and talking with her today? | Girl has nothing to do for an hour but is obviously interested in hanging around with me; oblivious me says goodbye and heads home. Am I an idiot? |
t3_3dn9su | relationships | [Advice] Fiancé wants to stop having sex four months out from the wedding (kinda) | So my (M28) fiancé (F25) told me two nights ago that although she loves our sex (which does not involve PIV. We're both virgins) she has been feeling guilty about anything that makes her orgasm. She is excited for our sex after marriage, and up until this point she's been wonderfully adventurous and engaged even though she has a lower libido than me.
She's offered to still give me oral and do whatever I still need, but she's off limits. To me, I don't enjoy sex when it's solely about me, so basically we're not going to have any sexual contact for four months.
She really wants me to stop looking at porn too, and I've been onboard giving it up for my own personal reasons, but it seems like the next few months are going to be really rough now.
I guess my only real question is if anyone has been in a similar situation? How they handled going without sex when you have an incredibly attractive SO sleeping next to you and constantly turning you on. How can I stop from blaming her when I want to support a decision that's important to her?
I don't need any advice about dumping her. I don't think we're going to have a sexless marriage based on our sexual activity up to this point. We're both pretty experienced sexually in everything outside of PIV and have had multiple partners. | SO wants to stop having sex before we're married in four months. I'm struggling with the idea, but don't want to change her mind. |
t3_3qdfh0 | relationships | Me [25 M/F] with my SO [25 M/F] 2 years | We have a good relationship. This is really just about me and my feelings. I am mostly okay, but generally may feel mildly insecure about myself overall (not about the relationship). I also suffer anxiety about things as well. I don't think I have anything to worry about with my relationship, other than worrying that these things will eventually get on their nerves and they won't want to deal with it anymore.
Sometimes I feel jealous of their past relationships with their exes who are still friends. I definitely have nothing to worry about, but can't help the mild jealousy at the thought of them loving someone who is not me, even if it was before we met. I can't help but compare myself to them, who are all attractive and more than likely in better mental health than I am. I never tell my SO about these feelings, as I feel like it's my own shit to deal with and get over. So, how do I stop doing this to myself and get over it? | Sometimes feel jealous of SO's past relationships, even though there's no need to. Also feel generally insecure and comparing myself doesn't help. How do I get over these feelings by myself? |
t3_1evexk | relationship_advice | I F[21] went on 5 good dates with a guy M[24] and then he stopped texting me for over a month. Now he just texted me again and I'm confused. | Went on about 5 good dates with a guy a while ago. The last Time I saw him was over a month ago and he said he really enjoyed spending time with me and wanted to keep seeing me. Then He wouldn't text. I texted him a couple times and he would always respond but wouldn't text me first. A few weeks ago he texted me at night and said he saw me at the bar. I told him I didn't see him, He asked how my night was and I didn't respond. So today he texts me Asking how I am and apologizing for falling off the face of the earth. Should I even bother to respond? why is he texting me now? | Guy stopped texting me for a month and randomly texts me asking how I am and apologizing for falling off the face of the earth. Should I even respond? Why is he texting me now? |
t3_1cgbab | relationships | Im confused over my [20m] relationship with my 'best friend' [20f] who Ive known for 3 years | I say 'best friend' because I consider her my best friend but I dont know if its mutual. We dont really have the same circle of friends so when we hang out its usually just the two of us. But I met her at a party about two weeks ago and she was rather drunk and she was going on about how she loved me and how I was her best friend. Now I didnt take it too seriously because she was drunk but when I texted her the next morning to see if she was alright she signed the text off with 'I love you best friend' so maybe she was serious. The thing that confuses me though is that I feel like Im always the one initiating the texting/hanging out. Im always asking her to meet me for coffee etc. So I feel Im not really very high up on her list when shes looking for someone to meet. The other thing is when we do hang out she is usually is texting someone else, its not annoying and I dont find it rude. Its more that she texts someone and I never seem to get any texts from her.
Am I being super needy, because sometimes I feel that I am. I try give her space but then Im worried about losing her. I just dont know how to balance it. | Im [20m] supposedly best friends with a girl [20f] who doesn't seem to take must interest in maintaining our relationship or put the effort in. |
t3_mu00k | AskReddit | I summon the power of Reddit! | Okay full story.
I went to school at the art institute for 3 years, couldn't complete because I couldn't get approved for anymore loans. I went to school for advertising, because its something that I looovvvee to do. I get really excited about solving peoples creative problems and it makes me feel good about myself when I can accomplish it. But since I don't have a degree and since there's lots if competition where I live I could never find a job and I became a sad panda. Fast forward to now. Trying to create a company win a couple of friends, on the side. I have typical forty hour job, whose income I use to pay off debt I built in college. I am using a laptop that groans when I break open my Adobe software, making work less then enjoyable and timetaking, something I don't have a lot of. I stumbled on a website that will give me a new iMac if I refer 1200 people over. It's free, non spamming, and simple to register, its called "nomorerack." If you use this link they will count it as a referral and will give me the desktop to help me accomplish my dream job. I know this will Prolly get buried, and those that read will prolly chalk it up to spam, but I'm real, and I figure if its possible, its possible on reddit. Anyway, thank you for your time! RIP Patrice o Neal. | if I refer 1200 people to register at a website they will send out an iMac that I can use for my startup graphic design biz. The link is |
t3_18mcde | dating_advice | I (22m) need help decoding her (22f) strange behaviour | So 1st date we just went for drinks, which followed into beers and music on the beach and skinny dipping. I quote "best date ever" from her. I agreed, it was amazing. But she's been progressively colder (less physical contact, weak text replies etc) since this best date ever, we've had about 5 dates since including me cooking her dinner, movies, general hanging out. Now she pretty much isn't speaking to me and has flaked on our past 3 plans. I cant think of anything specific I've done wrong so im pretty confused. I'd like to at least know what's doing so I can act accordingly.
in 2 weeks I'm flying off to Europe (for 3 months), she's known this from day 1, she's even helped me in planning etc. I was going to offer exclusivity while I'm there the next time I saw her, but as I mentioned, she's been bailing on our plans. my question is: how likely is it she's just trying to not get too attached to me? or is she just off me altogether? and why wont she tell me? | things were going swimmingly with (what I perceived to be) the girl of my dreams, now she's being incredibly distant. Is it because of my planned holiday? Or is she just off me? |
t3_2uzx41 | relationships | Girl (20w) came clear to me(22m) that she has hairloss and is wearing a wig | We ve been dating for almost a month now and its been great we really get a long amazing.
Yesterday when i was over at her place she said "Heyy.. *voice cracking* i have to tell you something. I have hairloss this isnt my real hair.."
It seems to be a big problem for her and i am scared of being just another guy who hurts her...
My response was "Even tho its not that big of a deal for me right now i have to think about this. I dont want to breakup with you a month later because i turned out to be a big deal for me"
We didnt really talk a lot after that. What has been a great evening ended in sadness (no tears). She let myself out and i said goodbye with a kiss.
Now i really dont know what i should do about this. For one part i want to be with her because she makes me happy. On the other part i am scared that her non exsting own hair (it seems to be very very short) is going to bother me a lot.
I am someone who loves great long hair. Her Hair looked fine but its not hers anymore in my eyes.. anyone here with similar experiences that could help me frame a solution? | Girl has no hair. Didnt notice until she told me. Now i dont know if to break up or try. |
t3_391ukx | relationships | Me [25 M] with my now Ex [23 F] 11 months, giving her space...went a week NC now she's texted/called past 3 days, how do I handle this? | So 2 weeks ago, we had a talk and she wanted space. She was unsure if I was the man for her future and she was becoming unhappy with things. She thought a break would help her find happiness, and reset our relationship from past issues if we got back together.
She said she needed time, a month or so whatever. I just went with it because I can't change her mind. We said our goodbyes but she quipped "This is just see you later, not goodbye."
Anyway, I decided to do NC for the best chance for me to Move-On and for her to miss me. About 4-5 days in, she checked up on me...I ignored. This led to more contact and missed calls. I wanted to completely ignore, but I felt it would be rude. I responded amicably and short.
That was a Friday, and that night she called/texted after the bars to see me. Stupidly, I let her come over. After that mistake, I told her the next day that can't happen again. Which led to her texting a bunch and calling more. I kept it short.
Sunday, again she checked in with me to which my ignoring got her frustrated to the point of anger. I decided to call her and tell her this can't keep being a daily thing. Although it was hard and emotional, thats where things stand.
What do I make of her behaviour, did I handle it right? Did I resist too much?
p.s. I know having her over Friday night was a mistake. It won't happen again. | Gf broke it off, I did NC, she reached out, I saw her, then told her we can't keep in touch daily. Did I handle it right? How do I go forward from here? |
t3_550cq4 | personalfinance | Questions and Suggestions for Credit Card count and Credit Management | I have some questions as I'm considering some advice from my father about credit and credit score. I've gone through the wiki and while it has confirmed some of the things he has taught me about the topic, I'd like to get a second opinion on the matter of credit card count.
For some basic background, I am rather stable financially, have a solid savings account to handle any kind of emergency, a solid credit score for being in my mid 20's (Mid-high 700's). I carry only one credit card though and it has a relatively low limit from my local credit union. I see the advantage of opening up one as it gives another line to report on long term, but I try to approach things from a practical standpoint. I have my credit card used for only specific things and auto payments set up to pay the balance automatically, and I have not actually needed an additional card because I work hard to make sure that I keep myself in as little debt as possible so from a fiscal standpoint at the moment the issue is to me: I have enough money set aside for emergencies of most kinds that I don't NEED a credit card to handle it, so is it even worth getting a second one?
I'm aware too that I could ask for an increase increase in the limit on my existing card and likely get it with no problem, but then I would want to approach the situation with the mindset of: one card is for general use like I am already doing with specific kinds of purchases, and the other would be there for something bigger, like some large piece of furniture and the like, to which I again cannot forsee anything at the moment where I would want to put down $1000+ on something all at once. | Is it worth it from a credit score standpoint to get a second credit card when there is no immediate or forseeable financial need to have a second line of credit open? |
t3_1nnqb3 | Cooking | Favourite dry seasoning mixes for rice? Or maybe veggies? | I'm currently 36 weeks pregnant with my second child and working to create a menu of pre-made freezer or easy-prep recipes to get us through the most difficult first 4-6 weeks.
I'm pretty good at main-dish items for the freezer, but I'm not so good at veggies and rice. I have a toddler with the usual toddler particularities and she won't eat bland foods. I try to avoid sauces as much as possible and just adding chicken broth is still too plain for her. Ideally, I'd like to find a couple of herb or seasoning blends that I could just add with rice and maybe butter to make it taste better. Sort of like a box of Uncle Ben's style rice, but not at $3 per meal. If anyone knows something similar that works with veggies, I would appreciate that, too.
I have a wide selection of dried herbs available, all the common ones used in Italian, English, French, and Spanish recipes, plus a few spices like Cinnamon and Nutmeg used in baking. Nothing really "hot" except curry powder. | What seasoning blends can I make in advance to toss in with the water and rice, "Uncle Ben's" style, that still taste good? |
t3_2yp3rf | legaladvice | I'm in a weird situation with the car dealership | I bought an 06 scion xb from a dealership in my town. A month into having it, the dealership calls me regarding a title issue. Apparently the previous owner put an estimated amount of miles on the title when he signed it over and the auction didn't catch it. When the dealership bought it, they didn't catch it either. It wasn't until they tried signing it to me that it was noticed and now the true miles are "unknown". This puts a red flag on my Carfax and makes my title a box c. Ultimately the value of my car dropped and I can't trade it to a dealer because banks won't finance a dirty title.
They offered me my down payment plus the money I put it in it. Or I can keep it knowing that in the future, it's going to harder to sell.
Of course I asked for my money back, but they were not happy with that. This particular dealership has five lots in my town so the GA drove from one of the other lots to this one to try and get me out of taking my money back. He offered me cars at the same price(literally driving me to every one of their lots), or cheaper ones I could pay in full with the amount of money I put down. I was consistent with wanting my money back. He got real pissed, made some phone calls, and ended with the idea that they would be allowed to pay me 1,505. Thats 15 cents per mile I drove it plus a $195 detailing ignoring the 380 I put into it at the shop. My down payment was 2,000. I told them to keep the check for now. I wanted to talk to the owner.
Now everyone's avoiding me.
What can I do about this if they refuse to give me all of my money back?
I feel like this isn't my fault and I should be compensated for the devaluing of my car that was done on their part. | dealership messed up my title. Car worth less than I bought it for. They offered to give me money back. When I accepted my money back, offered $880 less than they originally said. |
t3_2131po | relationships | I [20F] hate my SO's [25M] friends. | My SO and I have been together for over two years. I'm 8 months pregnant and we couldn't be happier. My family loves him, his family loves me. We're totally in love and happy. I'm the only girl that he's ever loved.
But, we live in a neighborhood that he's lived in his whole life and occasionally I'll have to see his old friends.
I really don't like some of his friends. I probably only really like 2/6 of them.. My SO doesn't really care for them either but he feels like he has to talk to them and play nice since they've known each other since they were in diapers.
Some of his friends are just plain rude and will act like I'm not even there. I have extreme social anxiety and don't know how to react to this. My SO doesn't seem to notice... But it all could be in my head since I don't really try to talk to them either..
How would you deal with this? | I hate most of my SO's friends. Some act like I'm not even in the room with them. I have extreme social anxiety.. How do I deal with this and make it better? |
t3_nc9nv | AskReddit | What are your best "I called out a shitty employee" stories? | Years ago a friend and I used to go to a Kerby's Koney Island probably 4 times a week for lunch while working, did this all summer long (worked at a golf course). One night after work we ended up there and took some seats (seat yourself when its not busy).
In 15 minutes (we watched the clock after 5) one waitress had walked by us 4 times to get to other customers and another had walked by us twice. We finally got up and just started to walk out. As we were heading out, one of the waitresses said "Why are you leaving?" I turned around and just said "We sat there for 15 minutes and no one came to take our order."
I turn around to leave and hear it behind me, in that snarky ass tone from one of them.. "Well I don't know about you girl, but I never saw them." I stopped. Then I hear it from the other one, "Yeah, they couldn't have been here long." I turn around.
I walk up to the counter and basically start screaming while pointing at them "Don't you dare fucking lie like that, you walked by me twice and you walked by me four times, one time you even smiled at me. So don't you fucking stand there and lie saying that you didn't notice us." Then I walked out.
Still went to lunch there the next day, I mentioned I had crappy service at night to my waitress and she had actually heard about some raving lunatic that came in and yelled at a couple of the waitresses the night before. I laughed and said it was me and explained what happened. She just rolled her eyes and said something like "Yeah, knowing them, I believe you." | I didn't get any free food out of it, no one got fired, but I never went back there at night. Still felt good yelling at them. |