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Peter Russell may refer to:
Peter H. Russell, Canadian political scientist and writer
Peter Nicol Russell 18161905, Australian philanthropist and university benefactor
Peter Russell cricketer born 1939, English cricketer
Peter Russell politician 17331808, Canadian gambler, government official, politician and judge
Peter Russell poet 19212003, British poet, translator and critic
Peter Russell footballer born 1935, English footballer active in the 1950s
Peter Russell fashion designer 18861966, IncSoc founder member and designer active in Britain from 193153
Peter Russell ice hockey born 1974, British ice hockey player and coach
See also
Russell Peters born 1970, Canadian comedian
Russ Peterson disambiguation | wikipedia |
circumstellar discs are a natural by - product of the star formation process ( e.g. shu , adams & lizano 1987 ) .
lada et al .
( 2000 ) found that 97 percent of the optical proto - planetary discs in the trapezium cluster exhibit excess in the _ jhkl _ colour - colour diagram , indicating that the most likely origin of the observed ir excesses are the circumstellar discs .
the _ disc lifetime _ derived by examining the fraction of ir excess stars ( the _ disc fraction _ ) of young stellar populations as a function of age provides an empirical limit on the duration of the disc accretion phase .
this is critical for understanding the evolutionary paths followed by pms stars in the hr diagram , their angular momentum histories , and the timescales available for planet building ( e.g. hartmann et al .
1998 ; hillenbrand et al .
1998 ; telesco et al .
2000 ) .
considerable debate has waged concerning the longevity of discs around low mass pms stars .
the effort is difficult because samples are often incomplete and biased : ctt stars are typically located by h@xmath4 and near - ir excess surveys , while wtt stars are mostly found through x - ray surveys ( feigelson & montmerle 1999 ) . an influential early study on the timescale for disc dissipation by strom et al . (
1989 ) , based on several dozen pms stars in the taurus - auriga complex , reported the ctt / wtt transition occurs around an age @xmath8 myr .
this result is supported by a recent _ jhkl _ survey of 7 clusters with mean ages from 0.5 to 5 myr that shows half the stars lose their discs within 3 myr and essentially all lose their discs in 6 myr ( haisch , lada & lada 2001 ) . at a later age of @xmath9 myr , only 1/110 sco - cen late - type stars show spectroscopic ctt emission lines and @xmath10-band excesses ( mamajek , meyer & liebert 2002 ) . however , other studies suggest discs are more enduring .
no evolution in disc fraction is found in the stellar populations of the orion nebula cluster from @xmath11 myr ( hillenbrand et al .
1998 ) , and in ngc 2264 from @xmath12 myr ( rebull et al . 2002 ) .
the chamaeleon i cloud population , where the sample is enhanced through x - ray and _ iso _ surveys , shows no difference in the age distribution of ctt and wtt stars from @xmath13 myr ( lawson , feigelson & huenemoerder 1996 ) .
spectroscopic study of the @xmath7 myr - old tw hydrae association members found active accretion in 2 stars ; tw hya and hen 3 - 600a ( muzerolle et al . 2000 ) , albeit at mass accretion rates @xmath14 magnitudes lower than is derived for younger accreting systems .
the measurement of disc lifetimes is muddied by several other issues .
first , despite the broad overlap in ctt and wtt age distributions , few intermediate cases are known suggesting that the transition between the two states is rapid ( wolk & walter 1996 ) .
secondly , some studies suggest that two disc lifetimes must be considered ; one associated with a rapid decline in accretion onto the star and another associated with a slower dissipation of the outer disc ( clarke , gendrin & sotomayor 2001 ) .
third , efforts to reconcile rotational distributions of both pms and zero - age main sequence stellar clusters assuming star - disc rotational coupling during the accretion phase have deduced relatively long @xmath15 myr disc lifetimes for slowly rotating stars ( bouvier , forestini & allain 1997 ; tinker , pinsonneault & terndrup 2002 ) , but @xmath16 myr disc lifetimes may suffice if the stellar interiors have sufficient radial differential rotation ( barnes , sofia & pinsonneault 2001 ) . finally , the astrophysical processes leading to disc dissipation are highly uncertain .
possible mechanisms include accretion onto the star , bipolar outflow , stellar winds , photoevaporation , close gravitational encounters and incorporation of disc material into planets ( see the review by hollenbach , yorke & johnstone 2000 ) .
the recently discovered @xmath1 chamaeleontis cluster has the potential of clarifying some of the observational issues .
it is a nearby ( @xmath17 pc ) , compact ( extent @xmath181 pc ) and coeval ( @xmath19 myr ; lawson & feigelson 2001 ) system of pms stars with a small ( 15 known primaries ) population of stars spanning a relatively large range in mass ( @xmath20 m@xmath21 ; mamajek , lawson & feigelson 1999 , 2000 ; lawson et al .
2001 , 2002 ) .
the cluster includes @xmath1 cha ( spectral type b8 ) , hd 75505 ( a5 ) , the a7+a8 binary and @xmath22 scuti system rs cha , 11 wtt stars ( k5@xmath23m4 ) and 1 ctt star ( m2 ) .
importantly , this census is known to be virtually complete in the inner region from a combination of a deep @xmath24 exposure , optical photometry and proper motion study of the field . unlike most other pms populations , these membership criteria are independent of the presence or absence of circumstellar discs .
we can thus use the @xmath1 cha population as an unbiased laboratory to investigate the fraction of ir excess and accretion at a critical intermediate - age phase of disc evolution .
a @xmath25-band ( 3.5 @xmath26 m ) map of the @xmath1 cha cluster was made during 1999 july @xmath27 with the 0.6-m south pole infrared explorer ( spirex ) telescope , using the abu camera which had a 1k @xmath28 1k insb detector array .
the abu camera had a plate scale of 0.6 arcsec pixel@xmath29 , giving a field - of - view ( fov ) of 100 arcmin@xmath30 .
our observations were conducted in good conditions with below - average background levels .
the raw data frames were pipeline - reduced at the rochester institute of technology before being delivered to us . using custom iraf routines written for the spirex / abu system ,
we then merged the multiple dithered images made of each field into single frames for further analysis . _
jhk@xmath31_-band images of the cluster members were obtained during 2002 march @xmath32 with the cryogenic array spectrometer / imager ( caspir ) on the 2.3-m telescope operated by mount stromlo and siding spring observatories ( mssso ) .
caspir uses a 256 @xmath28 256 insb detector array and we selected a fov of 4.5 arcmin@xmath30 giving a resolution of 0.5 arcsec pixel@xmath29 .
our observations were obtained under photometric conditions in @xmath33 arcsec seeing .
the caspir images were linearized , sky - subtracted and flat - fielded using customized iraf routines based on , e.g. ccdproc .
the spirex and caspir images were analysed using photometric routines ( such as phot ) running within iraf .
fluxes were extracted and calibrated by comparison to standard stars listed on the spirex homepage and iris photometric standards ( carter & meadows 1995 ) , respectively .
examination of the image profiles for the early - type cluster members ( @xmath1 cha , rs cha and hd 75505 ) suggested the onset of saturation in the caspir @xmath34 and @xmath35 frames .
for this reason we obtained _ jhkl _ photometry ( in the saao system ; carter 1995 ) for these 3 stars ( _ jhk _ only for hd 75505 ) using the 0.75-m telescope and mark ii ir photometer at the south african astronomical observatory ( saao ) .
these data , along with measurements of ir standard stars , were obtained during the week of 2002 april 30 to may 6 .
the saao _ kl _ data shows close agreement ( @xmath36 mag ) to the caspir @xmath10 and spirex @xmath25 data except for the @xmath25-band measurement of rs cha , which we discuss below .
table 1 lists the _
photometry of the @xmath1 cha cluster members .
we adopt 1@xmath3 uncertainties of 0.03 mag for the saao _ jhk _ and the caspir _
jhk@xmath31 _ data . for the brighter @xmath25-band sources ( @xmath37 )
we adopt a 1@xmath3 uncertainty of 0.05 mag .
fainter @xmath25-band magnitudes are uncertain by 0.1 mag . for several recx stars
we can compare our observations to on - line denis _ jk _ observations and to _ jhkl _ data published by alcal et al .
in most cases , the magnitudes differ by @xmath38 mag , which we consider to be insignificant given differences between ir photometric systems , and the intrinsic variability of these stars ( lawson et al . 2001 ) .
a special case is the eclipsing binary rs cha . using the ephemeris of clausen & nordstrm ( 1978 ) we find the spirex @xmath25-band measurement
was obtained during the secondary eclipse , whereas the caspir and saao magnitudes were obtained at maximum light . in the following sections we make use of the saao photometry for the 3 early - type stars
; otherwise we adopt our caspir and spirex observations .
colours derived from the individual magnitudes were transformed to the ` homogenized ' ir system of bessell & brett ( 1988 ) making use of equations provided by bessell & brett ( 1988 ) and mcgregor ( 1994 , 1997 ) . for ( @xmath39 ) and ( @xmath40 ) colours derived from the caspir photometry , the correction is small ( @xmath41 mag ) .
no correction was applied to the ( caspir @xmath10 spirex @xmath25 ) colour due to the mix of photometric systems , and any correction is likely swamped by the @xmath42 mag uncertainty in the @xmath25-band photometry . for colours derived for the early - type stars from saao photometry ,
the effect of transforming the colours from the saao system to the ` homogenized ' system is a correction of @xmath43 mag .
@lrrrr@ star & @xmath34 & @xmath35 & @xmath10 & @xmath25 + + + + recx 1 & 8.20 & 7.60 & 7.27 & 6.97 + recx 3 & 10.57 & 9.86 & 9.61 & 9.11 + recx 4 & 9.69 & 8.92 & 8.66 & 8.32 + recx 5 & 10.99 & 10.29 & 9.96 & 9.26 + recx 6 & 10.42 & 9.74 & 9.46 & 8.93 + recx 7 & 8.61 & 7.92 & 7.69 & 7.48 + recx 9 & 10.53 & 9.83 & 9.50 & 8.82 + recx 10 & 9.68 & 8.95 & 8.78 & 8.48 + recx 11 & 8.85 & 8.06 & 7.71 & 7.08 + recx 12 & 9.38 & 8.70 & 8.51 & 8.02 + @xmath1 cha & & & 5.73 & 5.62 + rs cha & & & 5.45 & 5.84 + hd 75505 & & & 6.98 & 6.81 + echa j0841.57853 & 11.90 & 11.30 & 10.94 & + echa j0843.37905 & 10.66 & 9.93 & 9.45 & 8.40 + + + + @xmath1 cha & 5.68 & 5.72 & 5.75 & 5.65 + rs cha & 5.60 & 5.46 & 5.43 & 5.35 + hd 75505 & 7.10 & 7.02 & 7.00 & +
colour - colour diagrams , constructed from multi - wavelength ir photometric and imaging surveys , have been shown to be a powerful tool for identifying ir excesses and circumstellar discs around stars in young clusters and star - forming regions .
in particular , @xmath25-band data combined with shorter wavelength observations permits evaluation of the fraction of sources with ir excess emission from circumstellar discs the _ disc fraction _ ( see , e.g. haisch , lada & lada 2000 ; kenyon & gmez 2001 ; lada et al .
as kenyon & gmez ( 2001 ) convincingly showed in their spirex @xmath25-band study of the cha i molecular cloud , @xmath25-band photometry is nearly essential for a meaningful evaluation of the disc fraction in a young stellar population .
_ jhk _ observations alone do not extend to a long enough wavelength range to enable a complete or unambiguous census of circumstellar discs in young clusters .
data obtained at 3.5 @xmath26 m provides more contrast relative to photospheric emission from the central star compared to the shorter wavelength observations . figure 1 shows ( a ) _ jhk _ and ( b ) _ jhkl _ colour - colour diagrams of the @xmath1 cha cluster members .
all 15 cluster members are shown in figure 1(a ) .
only 14 are shown in figure 1(b ) ; the m4 cluster member echa j0841.5 - 7853 was not observed at @xmath25 band . in these diagrams
the solid curves are the locus of colours corresponding to main - sequence stars of spectral types
b8 m5 ( bessell & brett 1988 ) , which encompasses the range of spectral types of the cluster members . in each figure
, the dashed parallel lines define the reddening bands derived from relationships given by bessell & brett ( 1988 ) , where @xmath44/@xmath45 and @xmath44/@xmath46 , respectively .
stars which lie in the right of the reddening band , after due consideration of uncertainties in the reddening law and in the photometry , are ir excess objects and therefore circumstellar disc candidates . as kenyon & gmez ( 2001 ) found in their study of cha
i , only those stars with the largest ir excesses fall to the right of the reddening band in the _ jhk _ plane , whereas many more stars fall to the right of the reddening band once @xmath25-band data is available .
if photometric errors were negligible , we could count all late - type stars with ( @xmath47 ) immediately to the right of the reddening band ; however with @xmath42 mag uncertainties in the @xmath25-band data , we count only those late - type stars with ( @xmath47 ) colours 0.1 mag redder than the reddening band as ir - excess objects .
this criterion also largely eliminates uncertainty in the reddening law as a contributor to the disc fraction , as the reddening line is almost constant in ( @xmath47 ) colour over the narrow range of ( @xmath39 ) colours for the late - type stars . from figure 1(b ) , the ` gap ' in the ( @xmath47 ) colours between 0.34 and 0.49 allows us to count 7 stars as the most likely number of ir excess objects in the low - mass population ) = 0.4 delineated the disced and the discless populations . ] . to estimate the uncertainty in this number
, we calculated the variation in the number of stars if the photometric uncertainties are considered at the 2@xmath3 level , i.e. twice the level of the adopted photometric errors ( see section 2 ) .
now we find @xmath48 could be counted as ir excess objects .
use of standard ir colour - colour diagrams such as figure 1(b ) could lead to an under - estimate of the disc fraction since k - type stars need to have a colour excess @xmath49 to be counted , whereas late - m stars need only @xmath50 .
an alternative ir colour - colour diagram which largely eliminates this problem is shown in figure 2 . in this plane
the reddening band is narrow , and the reddening vector is parallel to the main - sequence , enabling stars to be counted using the ( @xmath47 ) excess as the criterion . for @xmath51 above the main - sequence line of bessell & brett ( 1988 ) ,
we count the same 7 stars as the most - likely ir excess objects .
if we adopt the same 2@xmath3 error budget as above , we again count @xmath48 as the range of ir excess stars . also , as the faint cluster member echa j0841.57853 has _ jhk _ colours consistent with its m4 spectral type ,
it is unlikely to have a large ir excess , and so we conclude @xmath48 out of the 12 known late - type members are ir excess objects . for the 3 early type stars
, we may be justified in defining a lower colour excess as being significant .
@xmath1 cha is a @xmath52 pic - disc source , and with 0.05 mag uncertainty in the saao @xmath25-band flux the star has a ( @xmath47 ) excess that is significant at the 3@xmath3 level . for hd 75505 , a 0.05 mag uncertainty in the spirex @xmath25-band magnitude gives rise to a 4@xmath3 excess .
thus with @xmath53 certainty , 2 of the 3 early - type cluster members are ir excess objects . since an ir excess most likely indicates the presence of a circumstellar disc , we might then expect to find a correlation between the ir excess and accretion indicators such as enhanced h@xmath4 emission , which is believed to originate in magnetospheric columns allowing transport of disc material to the stellar surface .
two recent studies have demonstrated a correlation between the h@xmath4 equivalent width ( @xmath54 ) and the ( @xmath47 ) colour in cha i pms stars ( kenyon & gmez 2001 ) , or the ir colour excess in the ngc 2264 population ( rebull et al . 2002 ) .
comparison between the h@xmath4 @xmath54 and the _ colour excess _ is desirable to eliminate redundancy caused by the spread in _ colour _ across a stellar population .
determination of the colour excess for individual stars requires knowledge of the spectral type . for @xmath1 cha cluster members ,
spectral types have been determined from high resolution studies for several recx stars that are also rosat all - sky survey stars ( alcal et al .
1995 ) , medium resolution spectra of all cluster members ( mamajek et al .
1999 , lawson et al . 2002 ) and optical photometric study ( lawson et al . 2001 , 2002 ) . for stars common to 2 or 3 studies ,
comparison of the spectral types suggests a typical uncertainty of @xmath55 subtype , a value comparable to the uncertainties present in the individual studies . in figure 3 , we find a strong correlation between the h@xmath4 @xmath54 and the ( @xmath47 ) excess for the late - type members .
adopting the same colour excess as in figure 2 , we again count the same @xmath48 stars as having an ir excess when photometric errors are considered . merging the above results
, we conclude @xmath56 out of the 15 known stellar systems in the cluster , or a fraction of @xmath2 ( 2@xmath3 ) have ir excesses .
this number also defines the fraction of stars with _ dust discs _ , or the _ disc fraction _ of the population .
however , a more important parameter in pms star evolution is the fraction of stars possessing _ accretion discs _ in a young stellar population . by combining studies of populations of different ages
it is possible to determine the timescale for the end of significant star - disc activity and probably also the timescale for jovian planet building ( e.g. hillenbrand & meyer 1999 ) . )
/(@xmath40 ) colour - colour diagram for members of the @xmath1 cha cluster surveyed at 3.5 @xmath26 m .
see the caption to figure 1 for the meaning of the solid and dashed lines and other symbols.,height=321 ] in other recent studies the number of accreting stars has been determined from the ( @xmath40 ) colour excess ( e.g. rebull et al . 2002 ) .
this has been a useful technique since the ( @xmath40 ) colour is sensitive to warm inner discs , and also since _ jhk _
detector arrays have allowed entire star formation regions to be surveyed . with the introduction of @xmath25-band imagers , sensitive to cooler dust and to lower luminosity discs due to the increased contrast provided by the @xmath25-band photometry , we expect the disc fraction to increase as we demonstrate in figure 1 .
but with the availability of @xmath25-band data , do we continue to detect accretion discs or are the @xmath25-band measurements increasingly sensitive to remnant dust discs in systems where there is no longer star - disc coupling ?
the ( @xmath47 ) excesses measured for the @xmath1 cha cluster stars ( figure 3 ) suggest a continuum of behaviour ; from a ctt star ( echa j0843.37905 ) showing strong star - disc interaction , stars that are ctt wtt transition objects still showing evidence for on - going accretion ( recx 5 , 9 and 11 ) , wtt stars with weak ir excesses ( recx 3 , 6 and 12 ) , and wtt stars with little or no ir excess ( recx 1 , 4 , 7 and 10 , and echa j0841.5 - 7853 ) .
of the 15 known cluster members , the 4 stars with ir excesses @xmath5 are all likely to be experiencing on - going accretion ( the uncertainty in this number is @xmath57 stars ; 2@xmath3 ) . we have spectroscopically confirmed that accretion is present in two cases : echa j0843.3 - 7905 ( lawson et al .
2002 ) and recx 11 ( see below ) . for most of the late - type stars in the cluster , @xmath58 , so our accretion criterion is little different from that adopted by rebull et al .
( 2002 ) , where @xmath59 .
these stars allow us to define an accretion fraction for the cluster of @xmath6 ( @xmath60 ) .
we further consider the issue of accretion in section 4 . in figure 4
we show spectral energy distributions for 4 of the cluster stars .
we plot the measured fluxes of the ctt star echa j0843.3 - 7905 , and offset the fluxes of the other stars to illustrate the range of ir signatures that are present in these stars .
echa j0843.3 - 7905 shows a flat spectrum at near - ir wavelengths with high colour excess . on - going accretion in this star
is supported by its rich optical emission spectrum , with a h@xmath4 @xmath61 .
the star is likely associated with iras f084507854 .
iras _ faint source catalogue ( _ iras _ fsc ) indicates high - quality 25-@xmath26 m and 60-@xmath26 m fluxes of 0.30 jy and 0.28 jy , respectively ; approximately twice the @xmath25-band flux .
( the _ iras _ fsc indicates an upper limit 12-@xmath26 m flux of 0.27 jy . )
recx 11 is one of 3 recx stars with @xmath62 , and with a h@xmath4 @xmath63 that places them near the traditional ctt - wtt star ` boundary ' of activity .
mssso 1.9-m / coud spectroscopy of recx 11 shows the star is still accreting from its circumstellar disc , with broad ( width @xmath64 kms@xmath29 ) and variable infall signatures at h@xmath4 that are phased to the 3.95-d rotation period of the star ( lyo et al .
, in preparation ) .
recx 11 appears associated with iras f084877848 , with 12-@xmath26 m , 25-@xmath26 m and 60-@xmath26 m fluxes of 0.29 jy , 0.32 jy and 0.27 jy , respectively .
recx 6 is representative of wtt stars in the cluster with ir excesses of @xmath65 , and recx 10 is a wtt star with little or no ir excess ( see figure 3 ) .
emission - line _ ew _ versus @xmath66 excess for the late - type stars in the @xmath1 cha cluster .
the individual stars are identified by their recx number , except for the ctt star echa j0843.37905 .
stars with @xmath51 are identified as ir excess objects with circumstellar discs .
those stars with @xmath5 are identified as stars with accretion discs , see section 3.3.,width=317 ] in addition to the a7+a8 dual - lined eclipsing binary and @xmath22 scuti system rs cha ab , on - going study of the cluster population has found several confirmed or probable binary systems .
mamajek et al .
( 1999 ) noted that the h@xmath4 emission profiles of recx 7 and 9 were double , indicating that these stars may be spectroscopic binaries .
lawson et al . ( 2001 ) noted several of recx stars had elevated @xmath67 magnitudes compared to other cluster members of similar spectral type ; recx 9 and 12 are elevated by @xmath68 mag ( suggesting near - equal mass systems ) and 2 of the k - type stars ( recx 1 and 7 ) are @xmath69 mag brighter than the third k - type cluster member recx 11 .
speckle @xmath10-band imaging of recx 1 and 9 by khler ( 2001 ) found both stars have companions at separations of @xmath70 arcsec .
observations of recx 1 made during 1996 and 2000 showed motion that might indicate a decade - long orbit .
consideration of the stellar background density suggests these nearby stars are likely to be physically related to the primaries .
if future observations confirm these systems , recx 1ab and recx 9ab have @xmath10-band brightness ratios of @xmath71 and 0.5 , respectively .
observations of recx 7 made by us using the 1.9-m telescope and coud spectrograph at mssso during 2002 february showed recx 7 to be a dual - lined spectroscopic binary with a period of 2.6 d ( the same as the photometric period ; lawson et al . 2001 ) and a mass ratio of @xmath72 2.3:1 .
( recx 7 has also been observed to be a spectroscopy binary by donati , private communication . )
if recx 7a is a near - solar mass star , then recx 7b is a @xmath73 m@xmath21 early - m star .
recx 12 remains a candidate binary .
however , lawson et al . (
2001 ) found 2 periods ( 1.3 and 8.6 d ) in the @xmath67-band light curve of the star in observations made in 1999 and 2000 .
one of these periods may be the binary period .
-band fluxes and assuming no reddening .
the adopted spectral types are uncertain by @xmath55 subtype ; see section 3.2 .
the worst - case photometric errors ( the @xmath74 percent uncertainties in the @xmath25-band magnitudes ) translate to roughly the plotted size of the points .
the broad band magnitudes were converted to fluxes using the conversions of bessell ( 1979 ) , bessell & brett ( 1988 ) and koornneef ( 1983).,height=321 ] we have considered the effect of a binary companion on the ir excesses determined from our _ jhkl _ photometry . for a system such as recx 7 with a mass ratio of @xmath75:1 we calculate , using the pms models of siess et al .
( 2000 ) , that the near - ir colours will appear redder due to the presence of the secondary by @xmath76 mag .
binaries with higher mass ratios show less distortion of the primary star colours . due to the luminosity ratio of such systems ,
any ir excess present is likely associated with the primary . for distant near - equal mass systems such as recx 1 the available data
does not allow us to determine which member of the binary contains the ir excess , or if the excess is shared . for close binaries
, we would envisage a circumbinary disc if one were present ; the 2 confirmed spectroscopic binaries in the cluster ( rs cha and recx 7 ) have no ir excess ( see figure 2 ) . since our criterion for the presence of an ir excess is @xmath51 , we conclude that binarity will not significantly distort our results .
photometry of the cluster members indicates reddening is absent or low . for the early - type stars , westin ( 1985 ) found @xmath77(@xmath78 ) @xmath79 for @xmath1 cha , and
the light curve of the binary rs cha has been modelled assuming @xmath77(@xmath80 ) = 0.0 ( e.g. , clausen & nordstrm 1978 ) . for the late - type stars ,
our ir photometry indicates @xmath81 , whereas the reddening vector in this plane has a gradient of 2.47 ( see figure 1b ) .
we conclude that reddening is unimportant in our determination of the disc fraction .
comparison of the ir colour excesses indicates the 3 k - type stars ( recx 1 , 7 and 11 ) have @xmath10-band excesses of @xmath82 mag , which has the effect of increasing the ( @xmath40 ) colours and decreasing the ( @xmath47 ) colours .
this effect is not seen in the m - type stars , and can not be attributed to reddening . without 2-@xmath26 m spectroscopy we can not confirm if the excess is due to @xmath10-band activity , e.g. greene & lada ( 1996 ) detected br@xmath83 emission in half the ctt stars in a sample of @xmath84 oph pms stars , although in none of the wtt stars .
for recx 1 , an increase in the ( @xmath47 ) colour of @xmath82 mag would make the ir excess significant .
however , the star is already included in our estimate of ir excess objects once we account for observational uncertainties .
considerable uncertainty reigns concerning the longevity , or more likely , the distribution of longevities , of circumstellar discs ( section 1 ) . despite its modest population ,
the @xmath1 cha cluster provides a rare opportunity to examine at high sensitivity disc properties of pms stars with intermediate ages whose selection is unbiased with respect to disc existence cha cluster in this respect is recognized by its inclusion in the first year guaranteed time programme of the _ space infrared telescope facility_. ] . if discs decay rapidly as indicated by some past studies , then no discs at all are expected in this cluster .
we find , however , that 9/15 or 60 percent of @xmath1 cha primaries show ir excesses in the @xmath85 diagram ( the late - type stars identified in figure 2 , plus @xmath1 cha and hd 75505 ) .
the excess can not be attributed to errors in photometry ( section 2 ) , binarity ( section 3.4.1 ) or reddening ( section 3.4.2 ) .
long - lived circumstellar discs are the only plausible explanation .
one of these stars , echa j0843.3 - 7905 , is a ctt star with active accretion ( lawson et al .
2002 ) , and the h@xmath86 correlation seen in the late - type population suggests that up to 3 other stars may be accreting ( see figure 3 ) .
high - resolution spectroscopic study now underway will address this issue . why do we find a high disc fraction at @xmath87 myr when some other studies find discs largely disappear by @xmath88 myr ?
we first recognize that , except for echa j0843.3 - 7905 , the @xmath1 cha discs would have been mostly missed from _
colours alone ( see figure 1a ) .
sensitive @xmath89band surveys are essential for the detection of aging pms discs .
the principal discrepancy among @xmath89band studies lies between our high disc fraction ( 9/15 or 0.60 ) in @xmath1 cha and the low disc fraction ( 9/75 or 0.12 ) for the 5 myr old cluster ngc 2362 found by haisch et al .
we suggest several explanations for this difference .
first , the assigned age of ngc 2362 pms stars relies solely on the turnoff age of the o9ib supergiant @xmath90 cma ( balona & laney 1996 ) and the assumption that all stars in the cluster are coeval .
secondly , ngc 2362 is 1480 pc distant compared to 97 pc for @xmath1 cha .
the distance ratio alone degrades the @xmath25-band sensitivity by a factor of 200 . because of this
, faint discs in ngc 2362 may not have been detected . also , the limiting mass of the haisch et al .
( 2001 ) study of ngc 2362 is @xmath91 m@xmath21 ( spectral type mid - k ) compared to @xmath92 m@xmath21 ( spectral type m4 ) in our study of @xmath1 cha .
as we discuss in section 3.1 , it is easier to detect an ir excess in a late - m star , compared to a k - type star , using standard ir colour - colour plane analysis . also , it is possible that disc lifetimes are shorter in higher mass stars .
third , there might be variance in the disc destruction rate amongst clusters due to different rates of close encounters or photoevaporation due to massive stars , e.g. the discs in ngc 2362 might have been stripped by the uv / wind of @xmath90 cma ( see hollenbach et al .
2000 for theory ) .
a combination of the above factors can explain why there is a @xmath93 dispersion in the observed disc fraction for pms star clusters of a similar age ( hillenbrand & meyer 1999 ) . while noting these differences , our results seen together with studies of other older nearby pms stars ( e.g. study of the tw hydrae association members by muzerolle et al .
2000 ) indicate that ir - detected discs can be present in @xmath94 percent , and accretion discs can be present in @xmath95 percent , of @xmath7 myr - old pms stars .
we thank c. kaminski for obtaining our spirex / abu observations , and j. kastner and colleagues at the rochester institute of technology for performing the pipeline analysis of the raw observations .
we also thank m. burton ( unsw ) for coordinating the australian allocation of spirex observing time , s. james for installing the spirex / abu reduction package at adfa , and n. zarate ( noao ) at the iraf help desk for on - line assistance .
spirex was a facility operated by the center for astrophysical research in antartica .
we thank the mssso and saao time allocation committees for telescope time during 2002 which enabled us to complete this project .
mssso is operated by the research school of astronomy and astrophysics , australian national university .
saao is a national facility operated by the national research foundation of south africa .
arl acknowledges the support of a unsw / adfa international postgraduate research scholarship .
wal acknowledges support from the unsw research support programme and unsw / adfa special research grants .
eem thanks the sirtf legacy science program for support .
edf s research is supported in - part by nasa contracts nas8 - 38252 and nag5 - 8422 .
lac is supported by a national research foundation post - graduate scholarship .
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a frequently used model for stochastically evolving multitype populations is the fleming
viot diffusion . in the neutral case the corresponding genealogy at a fixed time @xmath1
is described by the kingman coalescent which was introduced some 30 years ago as the random genealogy relating the individuals of a population of large constant size in equilibrium ( @xcite ) . as a genealogical tree with infinitely many leaves
, the kingman coalescent exhibits some distinct geometric properties .
in particular , s. evans studied the random tree as a metric space , where the distance of two leaves is given by the time to their most recent common ancestor ( @xcite ; see also the fine - properties of the metric space derived in @xcite ) . using this picture
, the kingman coalescent close to its leaves has a nice shape : roughly speaking , in the limit @xmath3 , approximately @xmath6 balls of radius @xmath2 are needed to cover the whole tree ; see section 4.2 in d. aldous review article ( @xcite ) .
equivalently , there are @xmath6 families whose individuals have a common ancestor not further than @xmath7 in the past .
moreover , these @xmath8 families have sizes of order @xmath7 .
more precisely , the size of a typical family is exponential with parameter @xmath8 ( see eq ( 35 ) in@xcite ) , and the empirical distribution of the family sizes converges to this exponential distribution .
however , these results have been proved only for the genealogy of a population at a fixed time . in a series of papers of the authors , in part with a. winter ,
@xcite the kingman coalescent was extended to a tree - valued process @xmath0 , where @xmath5 gives the genealogy of an evolving population at time @xmath1 .
the resulting process , the tree - valued fleming
viot process , is connected to the fleming
viot measure - valued diffusion , which describes the evolution of type - frequencies in a large ( i.e.infinite ) population of constant size . in the simplest case of neutral evolution
all individuals have the same chance to produce viable offspring , i.e. , the frequency of offspring of any subset of individuals is a martingale .
however , biologically most interesting is the _ selective case _ where the evolutionary success of an individual depends on its ( allelic ) type and where also mutation ( i.e. random changes in types ) may occur .
this case including mutation and selection was studied in @xcite .
we note that rather than studying the full - tree valued process in the infinite population limit , it is possible to obtain limits of its functionals directly as well . for the neutral tree - valued fleming - viot process , this has been done for the height @xcite and the length @xcite .
in addition , functionals of other tree - valued processes have been studied , e.g. for the height of the tree in branching processes @xcite and for the height and length of a population with the bolthausen - sznitman coalescent as long - time limit @xcite .
* goals : * the construction of the tree - valued fleming
viot process allows one to ask if the above mentioned properties of the geometry of the kingman coalescent trees are almost sure path properties of the tree - valued fleming - viot process .
furthermore , while we gave a construction of the tree - valued fleming
viot process under neutrality in @xcite and under mutation and selection in @xcite , some questions about path behavior remained open .
we will carry over some ( not all ) of the geometric properties of the fixed random trees to the evolving paths of trees in theorems [ t1 ] [ t4 ] of this work . in the next section , we explain in detail how we model _ genealogical trees_. in order to formulate open questions let us briefly mention here that we use a _ marked metric measure space ( mmm - space ) _ , that is , a triple @xmath9 where @xmath10 is a complete metric space describing genealogical distances between individuals and @xmath11 is a probability measure on the borel-@xmath12 algebra of @xmath13 , where @xmath14 is the set of possible ( allelic ) types . in particular , the tree - valued fleming
viot process @xmath0 takes values in the space of ( continuous ) paths in the space of mmm - spaces . to state two open questions from earlier work ( see remark 3.11 in @xcite ) ,
let @xmath15 be the state of the tree - valued fleming
viot process at time @xmath16 .
first , we ask if the measure @xmath17 has atoms for some @xmath4 . to understand what this means , recall that the state of the measure - valued fleming
viot process is purely atomic for all @xmath4 , almost surely .
however , in the tree - valued case , existence of an atom in the measure @xmath18 implies that there exists a set of positive @xmath17-mass such that individuals belonging to this set have zero genealogical distance to each other . as we will see in theorem [ t5 ] , this is not possible , and the tree - valued fleming
viot process is non - atomic for all @xmath4 , almost surely .
second , we ask if every individual in @xmath19 can uniquely be assigned a type which is of course the case for the moran model , but does not automatically carry over to the ( infinite population ) diffusion limit . this is the case iff the support of @xmath17 is given by @xmath20 for a function @xmath21 . in theorem
[ t6 ] , we will see that this is indeed the case and every individual can be assigned a type for all @xmath4 , almost surely . *
methods : * since the tree - valued fleming
viot process was constructed using a well - posed martingale problem , we will frequently use martingale techniques in our proofs . these allow us to study the _ sample laplace - transform _ for the distance of two points of the tree as a semi - martingale .
in addition , population models have specific features that will also be useful .
for example all individuals have unique ancestors even though not all individuals have descendants and if an individual has a descendant , she might as well have many .
this simple structure can be used for finite population models ( e.g. the moran model ) or the tree - valued fleming
viot process , since this infinite model arises as a large - population limit from finite moran models ( for the neutral case see theorem 2 of @xcite and for the selective case theorem 3 of @xcite ) to derive properties of the family structure .
an important point of the proofs is that we can transfer properties from the neutral case since for most forms of selection ( which are determined by the interacting fitness functions , which gives the dependence of the offspring distribution depends on the allelic type ) , the resulting process is _ absolutely continuous _ to the _ neutral case _ ( which comes with no dependency between allelic type and offspring distribution ) via a _ girsanov transform_. * outline : * the paper is organized as follows : in section [ s.tvfv ] we recall the definition of the state space of the tree - valued fleming
viot process , its construction by a well - posed martingale problem and some of its properties . in section [ s : res ] ,
we give our main results .
theorem [ t1 ] states that the law of large numbers for the number of ancestors of kingman s coalescent holds along the whole path of the tree - valued fleming
viot process .
moreover , we discover a brownian motion within the tree - valued fleming viot process based on the fluctuations of the number of ancestors ; see theorem [ t2 ] .
another law of large numbers is obtained for a statistic concerning the family sizes and we make a big step towards this result in theorem [ t3 ] .
another brownian motion is discovered within the tree - valued fleming
viot process based on family sizes in theorem [ t4 ] .
finally we show the non - atomicity along the path in theorem [ t5 ] and obtain existence of a mark function in theorem [ t6 ] . in section [ s.proofpcover ]
we prove theorem [ t1 ] and after some preparatory moment computations in section [ s : prep ] , we give in the subsequent sections the remaining proofs of the main results .
we note that various proofs have been carried out using mathematica and can be reproduced by the reader via the accompanying mathematica - file .
in this section , we recall the tree - valued fleming viot process given as
the unique solution of a _ martingale problem _ on the space of _ marked metric measure spaces_. the material presented here is a condensed version of results from @xcite and @xcite .
we only recall notions needed to follow our arguments in the present paper .
let us fix some notation first .
+ for [ not : aux ] a polish space @xmath22 the set of all bounded measurable functions is denoted by @xmath23 , its subset containing the bounded and continuous functions by @xmath24 , the set of cdlg function @xmath25 by @xmath26 ( which is equipped with the skorohod topology ) and the subset of continuous functions by @xmath27 .
the set of probability measures on ( the borel @xmath12-algebra of ) @xmath22 is denoted by @xmath28 and @xmath29 denotes either weak convergence of probability measures or convergence in distribution of random variables . if @xmath30 for some polish space @xmath31 then the image measure of @xmath32 under @xmath33 is denoted by @xmath34 . for functions
@xmath35 and @xmath36 , we write @xmath37 if there is @xmath38 such that @xmath39 uniformly for all @xmath40 . furthermore for @xmath41
we write @xmath42 if @xmath43 and @xmath44 are asymptotically equivalent as @xmath45 , i.e. if @xmath46 as @xmath47 . for product spaces
@xmath48 we denote the projection operators by @xmath49 . when there is no chance of ambiguity we use the shorter notation @xmath50 . at any time @xmath51 the state of the neutral tree - valued fleming - viot process without types is a genealogical tree describing the ancestral relations among individuals alive at time @xmath1 .
such trees can be encoded by ultrametric spaces and vice versa where the distance of two individuals is given by the time back to their most recent common ancestor . adding selection and mutation to the process
requires that we not only keep track of the genealogical distances between individuals but also of the type of each individual .
this leads to the concept of marked metric measure spaces which we recall here . for more details and interpretation of the state space
we refer to section 2.3 in @xcite and to remark [ rem : int - st - sp ] below . throughout , we fix a _ compact metric space @xmath14 _ which we refer to as the _ ( allelic ) type space_. an _ @xmath14-marked ( ultra-)metric measure space _ , abbreviated as @xmath14-mmm space or just mmm - space in the following , is a triple @xmath9 , where @xmath10 is an ultra - metric space and @xmath52 is a probability measure on @xmath13 .
the state space of the tree - valued fleming
viot process is @xmath53 where @xmath54 is the equivalence class of the @xmath14-mmm space @xmath9 , and two mmm - spaces @xmath55 and @xmath56 are called _ equivalent _ if there exists an isometry ( here @xmath57 of a measure denotes its support ) @xmath58 with @xmath59 .
the subspace of compact mmm - spaces @xmath60 will play an important role .
+ 1 . in [ rem : int - st - sp ] our presentation , only
_ ultra_-metric spaces @xmath10 will appear .
the reason is that we only consider stochastic processes whose state at time @xmath1 describes the genealogy of the population alive at time @xmath1 , which makes @xmath61 an ultra - metric . 2 .
there are several reasons why we consider equivalence classes of marked metric spaces instead of the marked metric spaces themselves .
the most important is that we view a genealogical tree as a metric space on its set of leaves . since in population genetic models
the individuals are regarded as exchangeable ( at least among individuals carrying the same allelic type ) , reordering of leaves does not change ( in this view ) the tree . in order to construct a stochastic process with cdlg paths and state space @xmath62
, we have to introduce a topology . to this end , we need to introduce test functions with domain @xmath62 .
+ we set @xmath63 .
a function @xmath64 is a _ polynomial _
, if there is a measurable function @xmath65 depending only on finitely many coordinates such that @xmath66 where @xmath67 is the infinite product measure , i.e. the law of a sequence sampled independently with sampling measure @xmath11 .
let us remark that functions of the form are actually monomials .
however , products and sums of such monomials are again monomials , and hence we may in fact speak of polynomials ; cf .
the example below . + assume that @xmath33 only depends on the first @xmath68 coordinates in @xmath69 and the first @xmath70 in @xmath71 .
then , we view a function of the form as taking a sample of size @xmath70 according to @xmath11 from the population , observing the value under @xmath33 of this sample and then taking the @xmath11-sample mean over the population . + some [ rem : intphi ] functions of the form will appear frequently in this paper , for example @xmath72 , @xmath73 this function arises from sampling two leaves , @xmath74 and @xmath75 , from the genealogy @xmath10 according to @xmath76 and averaging over the test function @xmath77 of this sample .
then @xmath78 is again of the form and @xmath79 another function that will be used and which also depends on types is given by @xmath80 in this function @xmath74 and @xmath75 contribute to the integral only if their types , @xmath81 and @xmath82 agree . since we use polynomials as the domain of the generator for the tree - valued fleming
viot process , we need to restrict this class to smooth functions .
+ we denote by @xmath83 the set of _ smooth ( in the first coordinate ) polynomials_. furthermore we denote by @xmath84 the subset of @xmath85 consisting of all @xmath86 for which @xmath87 depends at most on the first @xmath68 coordinates of @xmath88 and the first @xmath70 of @xmath89 and hence have degree at most @xmath70 .
+ the _ marked gromov - weak topology _ on @xmath62 is the coarsest topology such that all @xmath90 with ( in both variables ) continuous @xmath33 are continuous .
the following is from theorems 2 and 5 in @xcite : + the following properties hold : 1 . the space @xmath62 equipped with the marked gromov - weak topology
is polish .
2 . the set @xmath85 is a convergence determining algebra of functions , i.e. for random @xmath62-valued variables @xmath91 we have @xmath92 \xrightarrow{n\to\infty } \mathbf e[\phi(x ) ] \ ; \mbox { for all } \ ; \phi\in\pi^1.\ ] ] the tree - valued fleming viot process will be defined via a well - posed martingale problem .
let us briefly recall the concept of a martingale problem .
+ let [ d:01 ] @xmath22 be a polish space , @xmath93 , @xmath94 and @xmath95 a linear operator on @xmath96 with domain @xmath97 .
the law @xmath98 of an @xmath22-valued stochastic process @xmath99 is a _ solution of the @xmath100-martingale problem _ if @xmath101 has distribution @xmath102 , @xmath103 has paths in the space @xmath104 , almost surely , and for all @xmath105 , @xmath106 is a @xmath98-martingale with respect to the canonical filtration .
the @xmath107-martingale problem is said to be _ well - posed _ if there is a unique solution @xmath98 .
let us first specify the _ generator _ of the tree - valued fleming
viot process .
it is a _ linear operator with domain @xmath85 _ , given by @xmath108 here , for @xmath109 , the linear operators @xmath110 are defined as follows : 1 .
we define the _ growth operator _ by @xmath111 with @xmath112 2 .
we define the _ resampling operator _ by @xmath113 with @xmath114 , where @xmath115 3 . for the _ mutation operator _
, let @xmath116 and @xmath117 be a markov transition kernel from @xmath14 to the _ borel sets _ of @xmath14 and set @xmath118 where @xmath119 we say that mutation has a parent - independent component if @xmath120 is of the form @xmath121 for some @xmath122 $ ] , @xmath123 and a probability transition kernel @xmath124 on @xmath14 .
4 . for _ selection
_ , consider the _ fitness function _
@xmath125 \end{aligned}\ ] ] with @xmath126 for all @xmath127 .
we require that @xmath128 , i.e. @xmath129 is continuous and continuously differentiable with respect to its third coordinate
. then , with @xmath130 ( the selection intensity ) and @xmath131 we set @xmath132 + if @xmath133 does not depend on @xmath61 , and if there is @xmath134 $ ] such that @xmath135 we say that selection is additive and conclude that with @xmath136 we have @xmath137 + the growth , resampling , mutation and selection generator terms are interpreted as follows : 1 .
_ growth : _ the distance of any pair of individuals is given by the time to the most recent common ancestor ( mrca ) .
when time passes this distance grows at speed 1 . note that in @xcite and @xcite the corresponding distance was twice the time to mrca
the reason for this change were some simplifications of the terms in the computations that we will see later .
2 . _ resampling : _ the term @xmath138 describes the action of an event where an offspring of individual @xmath139 replaces individual @xmath140 in the sample corresponding to the polynomial @xmath86 .
this term is analogous to the measure - valued case ; see e.g. ( 3.21 ) in @xcite , but acts on both , the genealogy and the types .
mutation : _ it is important to note that mutation only affects types , but not genealogical distances .
hence , the mutation operator agrees with the measure - valued case ; see e.g.(3.16 ) in @xcite .
note that here we consider only jump operators @xmath141 .
selection : _ this term is best understood when considering a finite population .
consider for simplicity the case of additive selection ( i.e. holds ) in particular covering haploid models .
here , the offspring of an individual of type @xmath142 replaces some randomly chosen individual at rate @xmath143 due to selection . in the large population limit
, we only consider a sample of @xmath70 individuals and this sample changes only if some offspring of an individual outside the sample , e.g. the @xmath144st individual by exchangeability , replaces an individual within the sample , the @xmath139th say , due to selection .
after this selection event , the fitness of the @xmath139th individuals is @xmath145 which is also seen from the generator term . in the case of selection acting on diploids , the situation is similar , but one has to build diploids from haploids first and then apply the fitness function . in @xcite the tree - valued fleming
viot processes were constructed via well - posed martingale problems .
the following proposition summarizes theorems 1 , 2 and 4 from @xcite .
+ for [ p : main ]
@xmath146 the @xmath147-martingale problem is well - posed . its solution @xmath148 defines a feller semigroup , i.e. @xmath149 $ ] is continuous for all @xmath150 , and hence
, @xmath103 is a strong markov process .
furthermore , the process @xmath151 satisfies the following properties : 1 .
2 . @xmath153 .
let @xmath109 such that @xmath33 is symmetric under permutations .
then , the quadratic variation of the semi - martingale @xmath154 is given by @xmath155_t & = \int_0^t \big\langle \mu_s , \big ( \rho_s - \langle \mu_s , \rho_s\rangle\big)^2\big\rangle\ , ds , \\
\label{eq : qv2 } \rho_s(u_1 ) & \coloneqq \int \mu_s^{\otimes { \mathbb{n } } } ( d(u_2,u_3,\dots ) ) \phi((r_s(u_i , u_j))_{1\leq i < j } ) .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] 4 .
let @xmath156 be the distribution of @xmath103 with selection intensity @xmath157 . then , for all @xmath158 , the laws @xmath159 and @xmath160 are absolutely continuous with respect to each other .
5 . if either ( i ) @xmath161 and the process with generator @xmath162 has a unique equilibrium or ( ii ) @xmath163 and mutation has a parent - independent component , then the process @xmath103 is ergodic . that is , there is an @xmath164-valued random variable @xmath165 , depending on the model parameters but not the initial law , such that @xmath166 .
using [ def : treev ] the same notation as in proposition [ p : main ] , we call the process @xmath103 the _ tree - valued fleming viot process _ and in the case @xmath161 its ergodic limit @xmath167 is called _ kingman marked measure tree_. + the random variable @xmath165 arises from the marked ultrametric measure space which is associated with the partition - valued entrance law of the kingman coalescent @xcite . + in [ rem : qv ] some of the proofs , we will need to compute the quadratic variation of @xmath154 for specific @xmath168 via ( [ eq : qv1 ] ) explicitly . for @xmath169 as in example [ rem : intphi ]
, we have by @xmath170_t & = \int_0^t \bigl(\psi^{12,23}_\lambda(x_s ) - \psi^{12,34}_\lambda(x_s)\bigr)\ , ds , \end{aligned}\ ] ] with ( cf . definition [ def : psiphi ] ) @xmath171
our main goal is to establish almost sure properties of the paths of the tree - valued fleming
viot process , beyond continuity of paths and the property that the states are compact marked metric measure space for every @xmath4 , almost surely .
we start by studying the geometry of the marked metric measure tree at time @xmath1 of the tree - valued fleming viot process .
first we recall in section [ ss.geoprop ] some well - known facts concerning the geometry of the kingman coalescent and then extend them in section [ sss.pptv ] to the tree - valued fleming viot process . in section [ ss : respath ]
we take advantage of our results and techniques and state some further path properties of the tree - valued fleming viot process answering two open questions .
we focus on the kingman marked measure tree @xmath165 introduced in proposition [ p : main].5 , but for most assertions in this subsection we can ignore the marks ( i.e. think of @xmath14 consisting of only one element ) . since the introduction of the partition - valued kingman coalescent in @xcite , this random tree has been studied extensively for instance in @xcite and @xcite see also @xcite . in our present formalism (
using metric measure spaces ) , @xmath165 appeared first in @xcite . in this section ,
we mostly reformulate known results , but also add a new one in proposition [ p.fluc ] .
the kingman measure tree , @xmath165 , arises from the partition - valued kingman coalescent , but can also be realized as a discrete graph tree using the following construction ( see also figure [ fig : not ] ) .
let @xmath172 be independent exponentially distributed random variables with parameter 1 .
starting with two lines from the root the tree stays with these two lines for time @xmath173 . at time @xmath174 one of the two lines chosen at random splits in two , such that three lines are present .
in general after the jump from @xmath175 to @xmath139 lines the tree stays with that @xmath139 lines for a period of time @xmath176 and then one of the @xmath139 lines chosen at random splits , such that there are @xmath177 lines .
the total tree height is thus @xmath178 , where @xmath179 , i.e. @xmath180 is the time it takes the coalescent to go from @xmath70 to infinitely many lines .
the time of the root is called the time of the most recent common ancestor ( mrca ) and @xmath181 is the present time of the population . in order to derive the kingman _ marked _ metric measure tree ,
consider the uniform distribution on the branches and construct a tree - indexed markov process , by using a collection of independent mutation processes as follows .
start with an equilibrium value of the mutation processes at the root up to the next splitting time where we continue with two independent mutation processes both starting from the type in the vertex , etc . running from the root to the leaves and letting time approach @xmath181 we finally obtain @xmath165 . without marks . in the `` dashed region ''
the tree comes down from infinitely many lines at the treetop ( time @xmath182 ) to six lines at time @xmath183 .
we have @xmath184 .
the thick grey sub - tree is the closed and open ball of radius @xmath185 around @xmath186 and around @xmath187 .
the balls coincide because @xmath188 is an ultrametric.,scaledwidth=85.0% ] at time @xmath7 ( counted from the top of the tree , for @xmath189 ) , a random number @xmath190 of lines are present .
equivalently , @xmath190 is the minimal number of @xmath7-balls needed to cover ( the leaves of ) the random tree @xmath165 .
it is a well - known fact using de finetti s theorem that the frequency of the family descending from every of the @xmath190 lines can be defined for all @xmath191 .
in addition , these frequencies are distributed as the spacings between @xmath190 on @xmath192 $ ] uniformly distributed random variables @xcite .
> from these considerations several results on the geometry of @xmath165 near the leaves can be derived .
we briefly recall and extend some of them and reprove them later in our setting .
roughly we will show that there are @xmath193-many families in which the genealogical distance between the individuals is at most @xmath2 .
furthermore , each of the families has mass of order @xmath2 , as @xmath3 .
more precisely , the distribution of ( by @xmath2 rescaled ) family sizes is exponential with rate 2 .
we split the above picture in two parts .
first we study the number of families and then their size in both cases looking at a lln and then at a clt .
we begin with a law of large numbers and a central limit theorem for @xmath190 ( see ( 35 ) in @xcite ) .
our proofs are given in sections [ ss.proofpcover ] and [ s.proofpcover2 ] .
+ let [ p : cover ] @xmath194 be the kingman measure tree
. moreover , let @xmath190 be the ( minimal ) number of @xmath7-balls needed to cover @xmath195
. then @xmath196 + with [ p : cover2 ] the same notation as in proposition [ p : cover ] and @xmath197 , @xmath198 \xrightarrow{\varepsilon\to 0 } 1 , & & \mathbb e\big[\big(\frac{n_\varepsilon - 2/\varepsilon}{\sqrt{2/(3\varepsilon)}}\big)^4\big ] \xrightarrow{\varepsilon\to 0 } 1 .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] we now come to the _ family structure _ of @xmath199 close to the leaves . for @xmath191
, we define @xmath200 as the disjoint balls of radius @xmath7 that cover @xmath201 and the corresponding frequencies by @xmath202 recall that in an ultrametric space two balls of the same radius are either equal or disjoint ( see also figure [ fig : not ] ) .
therefore , the vectors @xmath203 above are defined in a unique way .
it can be viewed as the frequency vector of a sequence of exchangeable random variables and we can ask for the law of the empirical distribution of the scaled masses in the limit @xmath3 , where the underlying sequence , even if scaled , becomes i.i.d . and we should get the scaled law of a single scaled @xmath204 . it turns out , a first step ( cf . remark [ r.refine ] ) is to see that the following law of large numbers holds , the proof of which ( together with the proof of lemma [ l.reform ] ) appears in section [ s : prooft3 ] .
+ for [ p : smallballs ] @xmath205 as above , @xmath206 almost surely .
the classical proof of proposition [ p : smallballs ] uses the fact that the random vector @xmath207 has the same distribution as the vector of spacings between @xmath190 random variables uniformly distributed on @xmath192 $ ] .
this vector in turn has the same distribution as @xmath208 , where @xmath209 are i.i.d .
exp@xmath210 random variables . then , using a moment computation , can be proved . for details
we refer to section 2 in @xcite .
we will use a different route for which we need the following auxiliary tauberian result .
+ the assertions [ l.reform ] @xmath211 with @xmath169 from example [ rem : intphi ] are equivalent .
moreover , the equivalence remains true if we replace @xmath7 by @xmath212 , @xmath40 by @xmath213 with @xmath214 and let @xmath215 .
+ actually , @xcite contains [ r.refine ] refinements of proposition [ p : smallballs ] . 1 .
in equation ( 35 ) of @xcite it is claimed that ( correcting a typo in aldous equation ) @xmath216 this means that the kingman coalescent at distance @xmath2 from the tree top consists of approximately @xmath6 families , and the size of a randomly sampled family has an exponentially distributed size with expectation @xmath217 , in particular the rescaled empirical measure of the family sizes converges weakly to the exponential distribution with mean @xmath218 , denoted by @xmath219 .
+ in order to show this assertion using moments of @xmath220 , it is necessary and sufficient that for @xmath221 @xmath222 the sufficiency follows since the moment problem for the exponential distribution is well posed , while for the necessity , we assume that holds , and then one concludes ( recall the notation @xmath223 from remark [ not : aux ] ) @xmath224 as well as , for @xmath225 , @xmath226 2 .
the statement raises the issue to determine the fluctuations in that lln , i.e. to derive a clt . here , ( 36 ) in @xcite states that @xmath227 where @xmath228 is a brownian bridge .
another , for us more suitable formulation is to consider the sum multiplied by @xmath229 instead of @xmath230 , so that @xmath231 disappears on the right hand side . in this case
one would consider the fluctuations of the empirical measure of masses of the @xmath232-balls that cover the kingman coalescent tree .
we have so far investigated the behavior near the treetop looking at the family sizes with respect to fixed degree @xmath2 of kinship for @xmath3 .
this picture can be refined by obtaining fluctuation results in ( or ) .
we obtain a partial result by considering a degree of kinship @xmath233 for @xmath1 varying in @xmath234 and letting @xmath3 .
this gives a _ profile _ of the _ family sizes _ of varying degrees of kinship and their correlation structure close to the leaves , if we view the scaling limit as a function of @xmath4 .
this profile should be the deterministic flow of distributions @xmath235 which are the limits of @xmath236 as @xmath237 .
again we consider the laplace transform given through @xmath169 and obtain the following fluctuation result proved in section [ ss : prooft3 ] .
+ let [ p.fluc ] @xmath165 be the kingman measure tree . define the process @xmath238 by @xmath239 then every sequence @xmath240 with @xmath241 has a convergent subsequence @xmath242 with @xmath243 for some process @xmath244 with continuous paths . furthermore all limit points satisfy @xmath245 & = 0,\\ \mathbf { var}[z_t ] & = \frac 2 t,\\ \mathbf{cov}(z_s , z_t ) & = \frac{4st}{(s+t)^3},\\ \mathbf e[z_t^3 ] & = 0,\\ \mathbf e[z_t^4 ] & = \frac{3}{4t^2}. \end{aligned}\ ] ] + we conjecture that there is a unique limit process @xmath246 in proposition [ p.fluc ] .
moreover , we note that @xmath247 $ ] and @xmath248 $ ] are in the relation if @xmath249 , which raises the question whether @xmath250 is a gaussian process .
although the kingman measure tree , @xmath165 , only arises as the long - time limit of the neutral tree - valued fleming
viot process , @xmath251 , near the leaves , @xmath5 ( for @xmath4 ) and @xmath165 have similar geometry .
the reason is that the structure near the leaves of @xmath165 or @xmath5 only depends on resampling events in the ( very ) recent past .
hence , we expect that the properties of @xmath165 from propositions [ p : cover ] and [ p : smallballs ] hold along the paths of @xmath103 .
this will be shown in theorem [ t1 ] and theorem [ t3 ] , respectively .
furthermore we conjecture ( but do nt have a proof ) that the more ambitious refinements described in remark [ r.refine ] ( see ) also hold along the paths .
in addition , in the stationary regime @xmath252 , theorems [ t2 ] and [ t4 ] give two results on convergence to a brownian motion along the tree - valued fleming
viot process .
the following theorem is proved in section [ ss.prooft1 ] .
+ let [ t1 ] @xmath251 with @xmath253 be the tree - valued fleming
viot process ( started in some @xmath254 ) and selection coefficient @xmath130 .
moreover , let @xmath255 be the number of @xmath7-balls needed to cover @xmath256 .
then , @xmath257 while the fluctuations in proposition [ p : cover2 ] are dealing with a fixed - time genealogy , we can view the fluctuations of the path @xmath258 arising in theorem [ t1 ] in the limit @xmath3 .
this program is now carried out along the tree - valued fleming
viot process . in order to obtain a meaningful limit object , we consider time integrals .
it is important to understand that the part of the time-@xmath1 tree @xmath5 which is at most @xmath7 apart from the treetop is independent of @xmath259 as long as @xmath260 .
the following is proved in section [ ss.prooft2 ] .
+ let [ t2 ] @xmath251 with @xmath261 be the neutral tree - valued fleming
viot process ( i.e. @xmath161 ) started in equilibrium , @xmath252 , and @xmath262 given by @xmath263\big ) ds .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] then , @xmath264 where @xmath265 is a brownian motion started in @xmath266 .
+ in one would rather like to replace @xmath267 $ ] by @xmath6 to measure the fluctuations around the limit profile , i.e. to consider @xmath268 defined by @xmath269 instead of @xmath270 .
we will see that @xmath271 converges as @xmath237 to a brownian motion @xmath272 with _ drift _ , but unfortunately we can not identify the latter .
indeed , from proposition [ p : cover2 ] , in particular using boundedness of second moments , we see that , approximately , @xmath273
\approx \frac 2 \varepsilon$ ] in the sense that @xmath274 \xrightarrow{\varepsilon\to 0 } 2 $ ] .
however , this only implies @xmath275=2/\varepsilon + o(1/\varepsilon)$ ] and the error term can be large . in order to sharpen this expansion to @xmath275 = 2/{\varepsilon}+ \mathcal o(1)$ ] , we use results from @xcite .
his section 5.4 ( with @xmath276 and @xmath277 ) yields @xmath278 & = \sum_{k=1}^\infty \rho_k(\varepsilon)(2k-1 ) \frac{(k-1)\cdots ( k - j+1)\cdot k\cdots(k+j-2)}{(j-1 ) ! } , \end{aligned}\ ] ] with @xmath279 . from this , writing @xmath280 we also see that @xmath281 & = \frac{2}{\delta^2}\sum_{x\in\delta\mathbb n } \exp(-x(x-\delta)/2 ) ( x-\delta/2)\delta \\ & = \frac{2}{\delta^2}\sum_{x\in\delta\mathbb n } \exp(-x^2/2)(1 + x\delta/2 + o(\delta^2))(x-\delta/2)\delta \\ & = \frac{2}{\delta^2 } \int_0^\infty xe^{-x^2/2 } dx + \frac{1}{\delta } \int_0^x ( x^2 - 1)e^{-x^2/2}dx + \mathcal o(1 ) \\ & = \frac{2}{\varepsilon } + \mathcal o(1 ) \end{aligned}\ ] ] as @xmath237 .
this , together with theorem [ t2 ] , implies that @xmath271 is of the form @xmath282 that is , @xmath283 is a brownian motion with drift .
now we come to a generalization of proposition [ p : smallballs ] to the tree - valued fleming
viot process . together with lemma [ l.reform ] , we obtain the following result on the laplace transform of two randomly sampled points . the proof is based on martingale arguments which will also be useful in the proof of theorem [ t6 ] .
theorem [ t3 ] is proved in section [ ss : prooft3 ] .
+ let [ t3 ] @xmath251 with @xmath253 be the tree - valued fleming
viot process with selection coefficient @xmath284 , started in some @xmath254 , and let @xmath169 be as in remark [ rem : intphi ] .
then @xmath285 + denote by @xmath286 the sizes of the @xmath287 balls of radius @xmath2 needed to cover @xmath256 .
if we could show that @xmath288 , we could use lemma [ l.reform ] in order to see that @xmath289 however , our proof of theorem [ t3 ] is based on a computation involving the evolution of fourth moments of @xmath169 in order to show tightness of @xmath290 . based on these computations
, we can only claim convergence in probability rather than almost sure convergence .
+ as an ultimate goal one would want to prove that ( compare with ) @xmath291 this would mean that the assertion that roughly the tree consists of @xmath8 families of mean @xmath292 exponentially distributed sizes holds at all times .
using our conclusions from remark [ r.refine ] , this goal can be achieved if we show that holds for @xmath221 uniformly at all times .
( while the case @xmath293 is trivial , note that a combination of theorem [ t3 ] and lemma [ l.reform ] gives for @xmath294 . ) in principle , the technique of our proof of proposition [ p : smallballs ] can be extended in order to obtain for a given but arbitrary @xmath139 which would require controlling higher order moments of @xmath169 .
if we could do this for general @xmath139 then we would obtain a proof of .
but since we are using mathematica for these calculations the problem remains open .
again , we can formulate a result on fluctuations . integrating over time ( to get a process rather than white noise ) the quantity @xmath295 , which appears in theorem [ t3 ] , and using the right scaling
, we again obtain a brownian motion as the weak limit .
the following result is proved in section [ ss.prooft4 ] .
+ let [ t4 ] @xmath251 with @xmath261 be the neutral tree - valued fleming viot process ( i.e. @xmath161 ) started in equilibrium , i.e. , @xmath252 and let @xmath296 be given by @xmath297 with @xmath169 as in example [ rem : intphi ] .
then , @xmath298 where @xmath299 is a brownian motion started in @xmath300 .
+ assume that @xmath40 is large .
then , @xmath301 depends approximately only on resampling events which happened within an interval @xmath302 $ ] for some large @xmath303 . in particular , on different time intervals ( which are at least of order @xmath304 apart ) , the increments of @xmath305 are approximately independent .
thus , it is reasonable to expect that the limiting process is a local martingale .
in fact , using some stochastic calculus we can show that the limiting process is continuous ( i.e. the family @xmath306 is tight in the space @xmath307 ) and the limiting object of @xmath308 is a local martingale as well . by lvy s characterization of brownian motion , @xmath309 must be a brownian motion . using the calculus developed for the statements in section [ sss.pptv ] we obtain two further properties of the states of the tree - valued fleming
viot process @xmath310 , @xmath311 , namely that the states are _ atom - free _ and admit a _ mark function_. more precisely , theorem [ t5 ] says that at no time it is possible to sample two individuals with distribution @xmath17 with distance zero ; cf.remark [ rem : intt5 ] below .
furthermore theorem [ t6 ] says that we can assign marks to all individuals in the sense that @xmath17 has the form @xmath312 for some measurable function @xmath313 .
these two theorems are proved in section [ s : prooft5 ] .
+ let [ t5 ] @xmath251 with @xmath261 be the tree - valued fleming
viot process .
then , @xmath314 [ rem : intt5 ] 1 .
at first glance the fact that @xmath17 is non - atomic for all @xmath315 might seem to contradict the fact that the measure - valued fleming
viot diffusion is purely atomic for every @xmath316 .
however , both properties are of different kind and the probability measures in question are different objects : @xmath17 is a sampling measure and the state of the measure - valued fleming
viot diffusion is a probability measure on the type space .
the above theorem implies that randomly sampled individuals from the tree - valued fleming
viot process have distance of order @xmath317 , whereas genealogically the atomicity of the measure - valued fleming
viot diffusion expresses the fact that at every time @xmath4 one can cover the state with a finite number of balls with radius @xmath1 .
the proof is based on a simple observation : for a measure @xmath318 , @xmath319 hence , the proof of is based on a detailed analysis of the laplace transform of the distance of two points , independently sampled with distribution @xmath17 .
the next goal is to establish that at any time there is a _
mark function_. briefly , the state @xmath54 of a tree - valued population dynamics admits a mark function @xmath320 iff every individual @xmath321 can be assigned a ( unique ) type @xmath322 .
this situation occurs in particular in finite population models , e.g. in the moran model .
the question for the tree - valued fleming
viot model is whether types in the finite moran model can change at a fast enough scale so that an individual can have several types in the large population limit .
such a situation can occur , if the cloud of very close relatives ( as measured in the metric @xmath61 ) is not close in location ( as measured in the type space @xmath14 ) .
+ we [ def : markfct ] say that @xmath323 admits a mark function if there is a measurable function @xmath324 such that for a random pair @xmath325 with values in @xmath326 and distribution @xmath11 @xmath327 equivalently , @xmath323 admits a mark function if there is @xmath328 and @xmath329 with @xmath330 we set @xmath331 + let us note that admitting a mark function is a property of an equivalence class .
assume @xmath332 ( with an isometry @xmath333 as in ) , where @xmath54 admits a mark function @xmath324 , i.e. holds .
then , clearly for @xmath334 we have @xmath335 in other words , @xmath336 admits the mark function @xmath337 .
+ let [ t6 ] @xmath251 , @xmath338 be the tree - valued fleming
viot - dynamics .
then , @xmath339 + for a series of exchangeable population models it is possible to construct the state of an infinite population via the lookdown construction @xcite .
this construction immediately allows us to define a mark function on a countable number of individuals specifying their types at all times , which suggests that should hold .
however , the metric space read off from the lookdown process is not complete , and the mark function is not continuous .
it seems possible to extend the definition of the mark function to the completion of the corresponding metric space by defining a ( right - continuous ) mark - function on the tree from root to the leaves .
however , we do not pursue this direction here .
instead , our proof of theorem [ t6 ] in section [ s : prooft6 ] uses again martingale arguments and moment computations .
the proofs of our results are of two types .
on the one hand , the proofs of propositions [ p : cover ] and [ p : cover2 ] , theorems [ t1 ] and [ t2 ] use as the basic tools the fine properties of coalescent times in kingman s coalescent .
this means they are carried out without specific martingale properties of the tree - valued fleming viot process . on the other hand ,
propositions [ p : smallballs ] and [ p.fluc ] , theorems [ t3 ] , [ t4 ] , [ t5 ] and [ t6 ] are proved by calculating expectations ( moments ) of polynomials , which is possible by using the martingale problem for the tree - valued fleming viot process .
the polynomials we have to consider here ( see also remark [ rem : intphi ] ) are either @xmath169 or @xmath340 , i.e. polynomials based on the test functions @xmath341 or @xmath342 and products , powers and linear combinations thereof . for the calculations of the moments of this type we develop some methodology which we explain in section [ s : prep ]
. propositions [ p : cover ] and [ p : cover2 ] , theorems [ t1 ] and [ t2 ] are proved in section [ s.proofpcover ] while propositions [ p : smallballs ] and [ p.fluc ] , theorems [ t3 ] and [ t4 ] are proved in section [ s : prooft3 ] .
the latter results are then used to prove theorems [ t5 ] and [ t6 ] in section [ s : prooft5 ] .
recall from section [ ss.geoprop ] that @xmath343 is the time the kingman coalescent needs to go down to @xmath70 lines , where @xmath344 are i.i.d.exponential random variables with rate 1 . before we begin , we prove some simple results on the times @xmath180
. + let [ l : momentstn ] @xmath180 be the time the kingman coalescent needs to go from infinitely many to @xmath70 lines .
then , @xmath345 & = \frac{2}{n},\\ \mathbf e\bigl[(t_n-2/n)^2\bigr ] & = \frac{4}{3n^3}(1 + \mathcal o(1/n)),\\ \mathbf e\bigl[(t_n-2/n)^3\bigr ] & = \frac{16}{5n^5}(1 + \mathcal o(1/n)),\\ \mathbf e\bigl[(t_n-2/n)^4\bigr ] & = \frac{16}{9n^6}(1 + \mathcal o(1/n)),\\ \mathbf e\bigl[(t_n-2/n)^6\bigr ] & = \frac{64}{27n^9}(1 + \mathcal o(1/n)),\\ \mathbf e\bigl[(t_n-2/n)^8\bigr ] & = \frac{4 ^ 4}{3 ^ 4n^{12}}(1 + \mathcal o(1/n)),\\ \mathbf e[e^{-\lambda t_n } ] & \lesssim e^{-\tfrac 43 ( \tfrac \lambda n \wedge \tfrac{\sqrt{\lambda}}2 ) } , \quad \lambda\geq 0 .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] recall that @xmath346 = k!\sum_{i=0}^{k } ( -1)^i / i!$ ] .
we start by writing @xmath347 & = \sum_{i = n+1}^\infty \frac{\mathbf e[s_i]}{\binom i 2 } = \sum_{i = n+1}^\infty \frac{2}{i(i-1 ) } = 2\sum_{i = n+1}^\infty \frac{1}{i-1 } - \frac{1}{i } = \frac 2 n. \end{aligned}\ ] ] next , @xmath348 & = \mathbf{var}[t_n ] = \sum_{i = n+1}^\infty \frac{4\mathbf { var}[s_i]}{i^2(i-1)^2 } = 4\sum_{i = n+1}^\infty \frac{1}{i^2(i-1)^2 } \\ & = 4 \int_n^\infty \frac{1}{x^4 } dx + \mathcal o(1/n^4 ) = \frac{4}{3n^3}(1+\mathcal o(1/n ) ) .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] for third moments , using @xmath349 = 2 $ ] @xmath350 & = \mathbf e\big[\big(\sum_{i = n+1}^\infty \frac{2}{i(i-1)}(s_i - 1)\big)^3\big ] \\ & = \sum_{i = n+1}^\infty \frac{2 ^ 3}{i^3(i-1)^3}\mathbf e[(s_i-1)^3 ] \\ & = \frac{16}{5n^5}(1+\mathcal o(1/n)),\\ \end{aligned}\ ] ] for fourth moments , @xmath351 & = \mathbf e\big[\big(\sum_{i = n+1}^\infty \frac{2}{i(i-1)}(s_i - 1)\big)^4\big ] \\ & = \sum_{i = n+1}^\infty \frac{2 ^ 4}{i^4(i-1)^4}\mathbf e[(s_i-1)^4 ] \\ & \qquad + \sum_{i , j = n+1
\atop i\neq j}^\infty \frac{4}{i^2(i-1)^2 } \frac{4}{j^2(j-1)^2 } \mathbf e[(s_i-1)^2]\cdot \mathbf e[(s_j-1)^2 ] \\ & = \big(\sum_{i = n+1}^\infty \frac{4}{i^2(i-1)^2}\mathbf e[(s_i-1)^2]\big)^2 + \mathcal o(1/n^7 ) \\ & = \frac{16}{9n^6}(1+\mathcal o(1/n ) ) \end{aligned}\ ] ] for sixth moments , @xmath352 & = \mathbf e\big[\big(\sum_{i = n+1}^\infty \frac{2}{i(i-1)}(s_i - 1)\big)^6\big ] \\ & = \big(\sum_{i = n+1}^\infty \frac{4}{i^2(i-1)^2}\mathbf e[(s_i-1)^2]\big)^3 + \mathcal o(1/n^{10 } ) \\ & = \frac{64}{27n^9}(1+\mathcal o(1/n ) ) .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] with analogous calculations , the results for the 8th moment follows .
finally for the exponential moments , we compute for any @xmath353 @xmath354 & = \prod_{i = n+1}^\infty \frac{\binom i 2}{\binom i 2 + \lambda } = \exp\big(\sum_{i = n+1}^\infty \log\big(1 - \frac{\lambda}{\binom i 2 + \lambda}\big)\big ) \\ & \leq \exp\big ( -\sum_{i = n+1}^\infty \frac{\lambda}{\binom i 2 + \lambda}\big ) \leq \exp\big ( -\sum_{i = ( n+1)\vee \lceil \sqrt{4\lambda } + 1 \rceil}^\infty \frac{\lambda}{\binom i 2 + \lambda}\big ) \\ & \leq \exp\big ( -\sum_{i = ( n+1)\vee \lceil \sqrt{4\lambda } + 1\rceil}^\infty \frac{\tfrac 23 \lambda}{\binom i 2}\big ) = \exp\big(-\frac 43 \cdot\frac\lambda{n\vee \big\lceil \sqrt{4\lambda}\big\rceil } \big ) \lesssim e^{-\tfrac 43 ( \tfrac \lambda n \wedge \tfrac{\sqrt{\lambda}}2)}. \end{aligned}\ ] ] let @xmath180 be as in the last subsection and recall @xmath190 from proposition [ p : cover ] .
then , is equivalent to @xmath355 in order to see this , note that @xmath356 by definition of @xmath180 and @xmath357 since @xmath358 as @xmath215 ( and @xmath359 as @xmath237 ) , the equivalence of and follows .
for , it suffices to note that @xmath360}{(\varepsilon / n)^4 } \leq \frac{16}{9\varepsilon^4 n^2}(1+\mathcal o(1/n ) ) . \end{aligned}\ ] ] by lemma [ l : momentstn ] .
since the right hand side is summable , @xmath361 almost surely for all @xmath191 . in other words , @xmath362 almost surely . by the lindeberg
feller central limit theorem , we see from the moment computations of lemma [ l : momentstn ] that @xmath363 recalling , we set @xmath364 such that for every @xmath365 : @xmath366 which implies .
however , we also need to show convergence of moments up to fourth order .
we write @xmath367 & = 2\int_0^\infty x\mathbf p\big(\big|\frac{n_\varepsilon - 2/\varepsilon}{\sqrt{2/(3\varepsilon)}}\big|>x\big ) dx,\\ \label{eq : int10 } \mathbf e\big[\big(\frac{n_\varepsilon - 2/\varepsilon}{\sqrt{2/(3\varepsilon)}}\big)^4\big ] & = 4\int_0^\infty x^3\mathbf p\big(\big|\frac{n_\varepsilon - 2/\varepsilon}{\sqrt{2/(3\varepsilon)}}\big|>x\big ) dx.\end{aligned}\ ] ] to estimate the right hand side of we first show that for a suitably chosen @xmath368 and @xmath369 we have @xmath370 where the equality follows because for @xmath371 the integrand is identically @xmath182 . using the exponential chebyshev inequality , we obtain for all @xmath372 @xmath373\,dy , \\
\intertext{now taking the lower bound for $ c$ , setting $ \delta'=2\delta/3 $ and using \eqref{eq:1679 } we get } & \leq \frac 94 \int_{\sqrt{4-\delta'}}^{2 } \frac{y^3}{\varepsilon^2 } e^{\lambda_{y,\varepsilon } \varepsilon}\mathbb
e\big[e^{-\lambda_{y,\varepsilon}t_{\lfloor \frac{2-y}{\varepsilon } \rfloor}}\big]\ , dy \\ & \lesssim \frac 94 \int_{\sqrt{4-\delta'}}^{2 } \frac{y^3}{\varepsilon^2}\exp\big\{\lambda_{y,\varepsilon } \varepsilon - \frac43 \big(\frac{\lambda_{y,\varepsilon } \varepsilon}{2-y } \wedge \frac{\sqrt{\lambda_{y,\varepsilon}}}{2}\big ) \ , \big\ } \,dy .
\end{split}\end{aligned}\ ] ] now choose @xmath374 and let @xmath375 be the solution of @xmath376 . for @xmath377
$ ] we have @xmath378 thus , @xmath379 it is easy to see that on the interval @xmath380 $ ] the function @xmath381 is bounded below by @xmath382 ( its value in @xmath383 ) .
it follows @xmath384 for a suitable constant @xmath385 , and hence we have shown . in order to show convergence of fourth ( and second ) moments , using , since @xmath386 pointwise , we need to show that there is an integrable function dominating @xmath387 for some @xmath388 and @xmath389 .
for this , we get , by the markov inequality and @xmath390}{(\varepsilon - 2/a_\varepsilon(x))^6 } + \frac{\mathbf e[(t_{a_\varepsilon(-x ) } - 2/a_\varepsilon(-x))^6]}{(\varepsilon - 2/a_\varepsilon(-x))^6 } \\ & = \frac{64(1+\mathcal o(1/a_\varepsilon(x))}{27 a_\varepsilon(x)^9(x\sqrt{\varepsilon^3/6}(1+\mathcal o(\sqrt{\varepsilon})))^6 } + \frac{64(1+\mathcal o(1/a_\varepsilon(x))}{27 a_\varepsilon(-x)^6(-x\sqrt{\varepsilon^3/6}(1+\mathcal o(\sqrt{\varepsilon})))^6 } \\ & = \frac{2(1+\mathcal o(1/a_\varepsilon(x))}{x^6(1+\mathcal o(\sqrt\varepsilon ) ) } \leq \frac{2}{x^6(1+\mathcal o(\varepsilon ) ) } + \mathcal o\big(\frac{\varepsilon}{x^6(1+x\sqrt{\varepsilon/6})}\big ) , \end{aligned}\ ] ] since @xmath391 since the area @xmath392 is restricted to @xmath393 in , the @xmath394-term on the right hand side of does not have a pole .
it is now easy to obtain an integrable function dominating , leading to . by proposition [ p : main].5 .
( see theorem 2 of @xcite for details ) the tree - valued fleming
viot process with selection has a law which is absolutely continuous with respect to the neutral process .
therefore it suffices to consider the neutral case , @xmath161 .
we observe that for @xmath161 the claim is not affected by mutation .
moreover , it suffices to deal with the case @xmath395 .
the reason is that is equivalent to the assertion that for all @xmath396 and uniformly for all @xmath397 we have @xmath398 almost surely
. then one can use the independence of @xmath255 and @xmath101 for @xmath399 .
let @xmath400 i.e. @xmath401 is the minimal time we have to go back from time @xmath1 such that we have @xmath70 ancestral lineages .
it suffices to show ( see around ) that @xmath402 . to prove this , we need to extend the proof of proposition [ p : cover ] .
it suffices to show that @xmath403 uniformly for @xmath404 ( if @xmath252 ) .
first , by lemma [ l : momentstn ] , for all @xmath16 we have @xmath405\bigr)^8\bigr ] \lesssim \frac{1}{n^{12}}.\end{aligned}\ ] ] therefore considering the process along a discrete grid , we have for any @xmath406 , @xmath407\bigr)^8\bigr]}{({\varepsilon}/n)^8 } \lesssim \frac{1}{{\varepsilon}^8 n^2}. \end{aligned}\ ] ] since the right hand side is summable , @xmath408 bounds from above and from below . first observe that @xmath409 for @xmath410 for tree - valued fleming viot process .
( this property holds in every population model , arising as a diffusion limit from an individual based population where we can define ancestors , since the ancestors at time @xmath411 of the population at time @xmath1 must then be ancestors at time @xmath412 of the population at time @xmath413 , for @xmath414 . )
we can now write , for @xmath191 and @xmath415 : @xmath416 hence @xmath417 almost surely , by the borel
cantelli lemma . for the other direction of the inequality we use @xmath418 for @xmath419 , to get @xmath420
hence @xmath421 almost surely . combining both , the estimate from above and from below we obtain the assertion of theorem [ t1 ] .
we proceed in the following four steps . * * step 0 * : warm up ; computation of the first two moments of @xmath422 . * * step 1 * : computation of the first two conditional moments of @xmath422 . * * step 2 * : the family @xmath423 is tight in @xmath424 . * * step 3 * : for @xmath425 a limit point @xmath425 as well as @xmath426 are martingales . throughout
we let @xmath427 be the canonical filtration of @xmath428 .
_ step 0 : computation of first two moments of @xmath429 .
_ the first moment of @xmath430 equals 0 since by assumption the tree - valued fleming
viot process is in equilibrium . for the second moment ,
we start by noting that ( see proposition [ p : cover2 ] ) @xmath431 for some random variable @xmath432 .
note that @xmath433 and @xmath434 are independent given @xmath435 \cap ( s-\varepsilon , s ] = \emptyset$ ] .
( the reason is that in this case @xmath433 depends on resampling events in the time interval @xmath436 $ ] while @xmath434 only depends on resampling events in @xmath435 $ ] , and these two sets of events are independent . ) without loss of generality , we set @xmath437 and compute the variance of @xmath438 as @xmath439 & = 3 \int_0^t \int_0^s \mathbf{cov}(n_\varepsilon^r , n_\varepsilon^s ) dr ds = 3 \int_0^t \int_{0\vee ( s-\varepsilon)}^s\mathbf{cov}(n_\varepsilon^r , n_\varepsilon^s ) dr ds \\ & = 3 \int_0^t \int_{0}^{\varepsilon\wedge t}\mathbf{cov}(n_\varepsilon^{s-\delta } , n_\varepsilon^s ) d\delta ds \stackrel{\varepsilon\to 0}{\approx } 6 t \cdot \int_0^\varepsilon \mathbf{cov}(n_\varepsilon^{0 } , n_\varepsilon^\delta ) d\delta . \end{aligned}\ ] ] in order to compute the integrand of the last expression , we decompose @xmath440 .
now @xmath441 is independent of @xmath442 .
the former is the number of lines the tree at time @xmath182 looses between times @xmath443 and @xmath7 in the past , and therefore only depends on resampling events between times @xmath444 and @xmath445 .
the latter only depends on resampling events between times @xmath445 and @xmath446 .
hence , @xmath447 consider now the dual representation of our equilibrium by the kingman coalescent .
let @xmath448 be number of lines of a subtree , starting with @xmath449 lines , in a tree starting with @xmath450 many lines , at the time the big tree has @xmath451 lines .
in lemma 4 of @xcite it is shown that @xmath452 = \frac{in}{n+i-1}. \end{aligned}\ ] ] hence , for independent @xmath453 , @xmath454 ) \\ & = \mathbf{cov}(n_{\varepsilon-\delta}^{0 } , \mathbf e[k_{n_{\varepsilon-\delta}^{0}}^{n_\delta^\delta}|n_\delta^\delta , n_{\varepsilon-\delta}^0])\\ & = \mathbf{cov}\big(n_{\varepsilon-\delta}^{0 } , \frac{n_{\varepsilon-\delta}^0\cdot n_{\delta}^\delta}{n_{\varepsilon-\delta}^0 + n_{\delta}^\delta
-1}\big ) \\ & \stackrel{\varepsilon\to 0}\approx \mathbf{cov}\bigg(\sqrt{2/(3(\varepsilon-\delta))}z+o(1/\sqrt{\varepsilon}),\\ & \qquad \qquad \frac{\big(\frac{2}{\varepsilon-\delta } + \sqrt{2/(3(\varepsilon-\delta))}z + o(\sqrt{1/\varepsilon}\,)\big)\big(\frac{2}{\delta } + \sqrt{2/(3\delta)}z ' + o(\sqrt{1/\varepsilon}\,)\big)}{\frac{2}{\varepsilon-\delta } + \frac{2}{\delta } + \sqrt{2/(3(\varepsilon-\delta))}z + \sqrt{2/(3\delta)}z ' + o(1/\sqrt{\varepsilon}\,)}\bigg ) \\ & = \frac{2}{\varepsilon } \mathbf{cov}\bigg(\sqrt{2/(3(\varepsilon-\delta))}z+o(1/\sqrt{\varepsilon}\,),\\ & \qquad \qquad \frac{\big(1 + \sqrt{(\varepsilon-\delta)/6}z + o(\sqrt{\varepsilon}\,)\big ) \big(1 + \sqrt{\delta/6}z ' + o(\sqrt{\varepsilon}\,))\big)}{1 + \frac{\delta}{\varepsilon } \sqrt{(\varepsilon-\delta)/6)}z + \frac{\varepsilon-\delta}{\varepsilon}\sqrt{\delta/6}z ' + o(\sqrt{\varepsilon}\,)}\bigg ) \\ & = \frac{2}{\varepsilon}\mathbf{cov}\big ( \sqrt{2/(3(\varepsilon-\delta))}z+o(1/\sqrt{\varepsilon}\,),\\ & \qquad\qquad \qquad \big(\big(1 + \sqrt{(\varepsilon-\delta)/6}z + \sqrt{\delta/6}z ' + o(\sqrt{\varepsilon}))\big ) \\ & \qquad \qquad \qquad \qquad \qquad \cdot\big(1 - \frac{\delta}{\varepsilon } \sqrt{(\varepsilon-\delta)/6)}z - \frac{\varepsilon-\delta}{\varepsilon}\sqrt{\delta/6}z ' + o(\sqrt{\varepsilon}\,)\big ) \\ & = \frac{2}{\varepsilon}\mathbf{cov}\big ( \sqrt{2/(3(\varepsilon-\delta))}z+o(1/\sqrt{\varepsilon}\ , ) , \frac{\varepsilon-\delta}{\varepsilon } \sqrt{(\varepsilon-\delta)/6}z + \frac{\delta}{\varepsilon}\sqrt{\delta/6}z ' + o(\sqrt{\varepsilon}\,)\big ) \\ & = \frac{2(\varepsilon-\delta)}{3\varepsilon^2}(1 + o(1 ) ) \end{aligned}\ ] ] leading to @xmath455 & = 3 t \int_0^\varepsilon \mathbf{cov}(n_\varepsilon^0 , n_\varepsilon^\delta)d\delta \stackrel{\varepsilon\to 0}\approx 3 t \int_0^\varepsilon \frac{2\delta}{3\varepsilon^2 } d\delta = t.\end{aligned}\ ] ] _ step 1 : computation of first two conditional moments of @xmath456 .
_ we can compute the _ first conditional moment _ as @xmath457 & = \sqrt{\frac 32}\int_s^t \mathbf e[n_\varepsilon^r - \mathbf
e[n_\varepsilon^\infty]|\mathcal f_s ] dr = \sqrt{\frac 32}\int_s^{s+\varepsilon } \mathbf e[n_\varepsilon^r - \mathbf e[n_\varepsilon^\infty]|\mathcal f_s ] \ , dr \end{aligned}\ ] ] since we started in equilibrium and @xmath458 is independent of @xmath459 for @xmath460 .
so , by proposition [ p : cover2 ] , @xmath461\big)^2\big ] & \lesssim \varepsilon^2 \mathbf e[(n_\varepsilon^\infty - \mathbf e[n_\varepsilon^\infty])^2 ] \xrightarrow{\varepsilon\to 0 } 0 , \end{aligned}\ ] ] which implies @xmath462 \xrightarrow{\varepsilon\to 0 } 0 \qquad \text { in } l^2.\end{aligned}\ ] ] for the _ second conditional moment _ , we extend our calculation from step 0 .
here , @xmath463 & = 3 \int_s^t \int_s^{r_1 } \mathbf{e}[(n_\varepsilon^{r_1}-\mathbf e[n_\varepsilon^{\infty}])(n_\varepsilon^{r_2}-\mathbf e[n_\varepsilon^{\infty}])|\mathcal f_s ] dr_1 dr_2 \\ & = 3\int_{s+\varepsilon}^t \int_{s+\varepsilon}^{r_1 } \mathbf{cov}[n_\varepsilon^{r_1 } , n_\varepsilon^{r_2 } ] dr_1 dr_2 + 3a_\varepsilon , \end{aligned}\ ] ] with @xmath464 & = \mathbf e\big[\big|\int_s^t \int_s^{r_1\wedge ( s+\varepsilon)}\mathbf{e}[(n_\varepsilon^{r_1}-\mathbf e[n_\varepsilon^{\infty}])(n_\varepsilon^{r_2}-\mathbf e[n_\varepsilon^{\infty}])|\mathcal f_s ] dr_1 dr_2\big|\big ] \\ & = \mathbf e\big[\big|\int_s^{s+2\varepsilon } \int_s^{r_1\wedge ( s+\varepsilon ) } \mathbf{e}[|(n_\varepsilon^{r_1}-\mathbf e[n_\varepsilon^{\infty}])(n_\varepsilon^{r_2}-\mathbf e[n_\varepsilon^{\infty}])|\mathcal f_s ] dr_1 dr_2\big|\big ] \\ & \leq \int_s^{s+2\varepsilon } \int_s^{r_1\wedge ( s+\varepsilon ) } \mathbf{e}[|(n_\varepsilon^{r_1}-\mathbf e[n_\varepsilon^{\infty}])(n_\varepsilon^{r_2}-\mathbf e[n_\varepsilon^{\infty}])| ] dr_1 dr_2 \\ & \leq \int_s^{s+2\varepsilon } \int_s^{r_1 } \mathbf{e}[|(n_\varepsilon^{r_1}-\mathbf e[n_\varepsilon^{\infty}])(n_\varepsilon^{r_2}-\mathbf e[n_\varepsilon^{\infty}])| ] dr_1 dr_2 \\ & \leq 2\varepsilon^2 \mathbf { var}[n_\varepsilon^\infty ] \xrightarrow{\varepsilon\to 0 } 0 \end{aligned}\ ] ] by proposition [ p : cover2 ] .
so , combining the last two displays with , @xmath465 \xrightarrow{\varepsilon\to 0}t - s \qquad \text { in } l^1.\end{aligned}\ ] ] _ step 2 : the family of the laws of @xmath423 on @xmath424 is tight for @xmath3 .
_ we use the kolmogorov
chentsov criterion ; see e.g. corollary 16.9 in @xcite .
we bound the fourth moment of the increment in @xmath466 .
we write @xmath467 $ ] such that , again making use of the independence of @xmath468 and @xmath469 if @xmath470 , as well as of proposition [ p : cover2 ] , we estimate for fixed @xmath1 and @xmath3 @xmath471 \lesssim \int_0^t \int_0^{s_1 } \int_0^{s_2 } \int_0^{s_3 } \mathbf e\bigl [ \prod\nolimits_{i=1}^4 ( n_\varepsilon^{s_i}-a_\varepsilon)\bigr ] \ , ds_4 \ ,
ds_3 \ , ds_2 \ , ds_1 \\
& \lesssim \big(\int_0^t \int_{0\vee(s_1-\varepsilon)}^{s_1 } \mathbf e[(n_\varepsilon^{s_1}-a_\varepsilon)\cdot ( n_\varepsilon^{s_2}-a_\varepsilon ) ] ds_2 ds_1\big)^2 \\ & \quad + \int_0^t \int_{0\vee(s_1-\varepsilon)}^{s_1 } \int_{0\vee(s_2-\varepsilon)}^{s_2 } \int_{0\vee(s_3-\varepsilon)}^{s_3 } \mathbf e\bigl [ \prod\nolimits_{i=1}^4 ( n_\varepsilon^{s_i}-a_\varepsilon)\bigr ] \ , ds_4 \ , ds_3 \ , ds_2 \ , ds_1 \\ & \lesssim \big(t ( t\wedge \varepsilon ) \mathbf { var}[n_\varepsilon^\infty]\big)^2 + t(t\wedge \varepsilon)^3 \mathbf e[(n_\varepsilon^\infty - a_\varepsilon)^4 ] \\ & \lesssim t^2 \end{split}\end{aligned}\ ] ] and the tightness follows .
_ step 3 : if @xmath472 is a limit point , then @xmath472 as well as @xmath473 are martingales .
let @xmath265 be a weak limit point of @xmath474 , which has continuous paths by step 2 .
we know from step 0 that @xmath475 is square integrable which allows for the following calculations . for @xmath476 and some continuous
bounded function @xmath477 , by @xmath478\big| = \lim_{\varepsilon\to\infty } \big|\mathbf e[(b_\varepsilon(t ) - b_\varepsilon(s ) ) \cdot f(b_\varepsilon(r_1),\dots , b_\varepsilon(r_n))]\big| \\ & \leq \lim_{\varepsilon\to\infty } \mathbf e\big [ \big|\mathbf e[b_\varepsilon(t ) - b_\varepsilon(s)|\mathcal f_s ] \big|\cdot f(b_\varepsilon(r_1),\dots , b_\varepsilon(r_n))\big ] = 0 .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] since @xmath479 and @xmath480 were arbitrary , @xmath481 is a martingale .
similarly , by , @xmath482\big| \\ & = \lim_{\varepsilon\to\infty } \big|\mathbf e[((b_\varepsilon(t ) - b_\varepsilon(s))^2 - ( t - s ) ) \cdot f(b_\varepsilon(r_1),\dots , b_\varepsilon(r_n))]\big| \\ & \leq \lim_{\varepsilon\to\infty } \mathbf e\big [ \big|\mathbf e[(b_\varepsilon(t ) - b_\varepsilon(s))^2-(t - s)|\mathcal f_s ] \big|\cdot f(b_\varepsilon(r_1),\dots , b_\varepsilon(r_n))\big ] = 0 , \end{aligned}\ ] ] which shows that @xmath483 is a martingale
. then by lvy s characterization of brownian motion , @xmath481 is a brownian motion .
the [ s : prep ] key to the proofs of proposition [ p : smallballs ] and theorems [ t3 ] , [ t4 ] , [ t5 ] and [ t6 ] is a proper understanding of the behavior of the functions @xmath486 and @xmath487 from remark [ rem : intphi ] along the paths of the tree - valued fleming viot dynamics . in this section ,
we provide useful tools for the analysis of these functions .
in particular , we are going to compute moments up to fourth order . throughout this section
we assume that @xmath488 i.e. with @xmath489 , and denote by @xmath490 the canonical filtration of @xmath103 .
furthermore , for the mutation operator , we will assume throughout this section that @xmath491 this assumption implies that every mutation event leads to a new type .
in particular , this will be crucial in lemma [ l1 ] .
the key is to obtain the power at which @xmath169 vanishes as @xmath493 respectively at which order the increments of @xmath494 vanish as @xmath495 .
proofs of the next two lemmata are given in section [ ss.proofls ] .
+ for [ l2 ] all @xmath16 , @xmath496 in @xmath497 ( and therefore also in probability ) .
+ there [ l3]exists @xmath38 , which is independent of @xmath40 , such that @xmath498\leq ct,\\\label{eq:31b } & \sup_{\lambda > 0 } ( \lambda+2\vartheta + 1)^2 \mathbf e[(\widehat \psi^{12}_\lambda(x_t ) - \widehat \psi^{12}_\lambda(x_0))^2]\leq ct . \end{aligned}\ ] ] + if the right hand side of would have been @xmath499 for some @xmath191 , then lemma [ l3 ] would imply the needed tightness for theorem [ t3 ] by the kolmogorov
chentsov tightness criterion ; see e.g. corollary 16.9 in @xcite .
however , since it is only linear in @xmath1 , we will have to use fourth moments to get the desired tightness property .
the main goal of this subsection is therefore to compute the fourth moments of the increments of @xmath500 and of @xmath501 .
the proof of the next two results are given in sections [ ss.proofsl4l5 ] and [ ss:56 ] .
+ for all @xmath16 , [ l4b ] as @xmath502 , @xmath503 & = \frac{3}{4\lambda^2 } + \mathcal o\big(\frac{1}{\lambda^3}\big),\\ \mathbf e\bigl[\bigl((\lambda+2\vartheta + 1)\widehat \psi^{12}_\lambda(x_\infty)-1\bigr)^4\bigr ] & = \frac{3}{4\lambda^2 } + \mathcal o\big(\frac{1}{\lambda^3}\big ) .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] in particular , the convergences in hold in @xmath504 as well .
+ there [ l5 ] exists @xmath38 , such that @xmath505\leq ct^2,\\ & \sup_{\lambda > 0 } ( \lambda+2\vartheta+1)^4 \mathbf e[(\widehat\psi^{12}_\lambda(x_t ) - \widehat\psi^{12}_\lambda(x_0))^4]\leq ct^2 .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] we start with second moments and afterwards , we provide an automated procedure how to compute higher order moments using mathematica . here , we show that @xmath506 and @xmath507 in @xmath497 ( lemma [ l2 ] ) and study the second moments of the increments of @xmath508 ( lemma [ l3 ] ) .
we start by defining some functions which appear in the first and second moment equations for the polynomials @xmath509 and @xmath510 defined in example [ rem : intphi ] .
+ we [ def : psiphi ] define the following functions in @xmath85 : @xmath511 and centering around the equilibrium expectations @xmath512 + our main object of study are the functions @xmath509 and @xmath513 . note that since @xmath101 has the same law as @xmath165 and since in @xmath165 the time it takes that two randomly chosen lines coalesce is an exponential random variable @xmath514 with parameter @xmath317
, we have @xmath515 & = \mathbf e[\langle \mu^{\otimes { \mathbb{n } } } , e^{-\lambda r(u_1,u_2)}\rangle ] = \mathbf e[e^{-\lambda r } ] = \frac{1}{\lambda+1}. \end{aligned}\ ] ] moreover , if mutations arise at constant rate @xmath516 , consider again two randomly chosen lines which coalesce at time @xmath514 , and the first mutation event at an independent , exponentially distributed time @xmath517 with rate @xmath518 , using ( [ eq : beta - non - atomic ] ) : @xmath519 & = \mathbf e[\langle \mu^{\otimes { \mathbb{n } } } , { \mathbbm{1}_{\{a_1=a_2\}}}e^{-\lambda r(u_1,u_2)}\rangle ] = \mathbf e[e^{-\lambda r } { \mathbbm{1}_{\{r\leq s\ } } } ] \\ & = \mathbf e[e^{-\lambda r } \cdot \mathbf p(s\geq r|r ) ] = \mathbf e[e^{-(\lambda + \vartheta)r } ] = \frac{1}{\lambda+\vartheta+1}. \end{aligned}\ ] ] moreover , we write @xmath520 and analogously for @xmath521 . next we compute the action of the generator of @xmath522 on the functions from definition [ def : psiphi ] .
let [ l1 ] @xmath95 be the generator of the tree - valued fleming viot dynamics .
then @xmath523 and @xmath524 2 .
the following functionals of @xmath525 are martingales : @xmath526 furthermore for all @xmath527 and all @xmath528 @xmath529 = \mathbf e[\widehat\upsilon_{\lambda}^{k}(x_s ) ] = 0 .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] + since [ rem : reference]@xmath530 = \mathbf e[\widehat\upsilon^k_\lambda(x_\infty ) ] = 0 $ ] by , it is also possible to compute the equilibrium values for @xmath531 and @xmath532 .
we write for later reference , @xmath533 and @xmath534 where the terms after each @xmath531 and @xmath532 are the corresponding equilibrium values .
the results in and follow by simple calculations .
the stated martingale properties are consequences of general theory ; see lemma 4.3.2 in @xcite . in particular , since the equilibrium distribution of @xmath103 is ergodic , for @xmath528 and @xmath535 , @xmath536 = \lim_{t\to \infty } \mathbf e[\upsilon^k_{\lambda}(x_t ) ] = \lim_{t\to \infty } e^{-\lambda_k ( t - s)}\mathbf e[\upsilon^k_{\lambda}(x_s ) ] = 0\cdot \mathbf e[\upsilon^k_{\lambda}(x_s ) ] , \end{aligned}\ ] ] which can only hold ( note that @xmath537|<\infty$ ] by definition ) if @xmath538 = 0 $ ] . replacing @xmath539 by @xmath540 , @xmath541 gives the corresponding results for the expectations of @xmath542 .
we only give the full proof for the first assertion in since the second follows exactly along the same lines .
the proof amounts to computing the variance of @xmath509 .
therefore , we need to understand the expectation of @xmath543 ( for the last equality , see ) . to this end
we express the @xmath544 s in term of the @xmath545 s and obtain @xmath546 together with , this implies @xmath547 & = ( \lambda+1)^2 \cdot \mathbf e [ \psi_\lambda^{12,34}(x_t ) ] - 2(\lambda+1)\cdot \mathbf e [ \psi_\lambda^{12}(x_t ) ] + 1 \\ & = \frac{2 \lambda^2 } { ( \lambda+3 ) ( 2 \lambda+1 ) ( 2 \lambda + 3 ) } \xrightarrow{\lambda\to\infty}0 . \end{aligned}\ ] ] again , we restrict our proof to since is proved analogously .
we compute @xmath548 & = \mathbf e\big[\psi^{12,34}_\lambda(x_0 ) - \frac{1}{\lambda+1}\psi^{12}_\lambda(x_0)\big ] \\ & = \frac{2 \lambda^2}{(\lambda+1)^2(\lambda + 3 ) ( 2\lambda + 1 ) ( 2\lambda + 3 ) } \end{aligned}\ ] ] and ( recall that we start in equilibrium ) @xmath549 \\ & = \mathbf e[(\psi^{12}_\lambda(x_t))^2 - ( \psi^{12}_\lambda(x_0))^2 - 2\psi^{12}_\lambda(x_0 ) ( \psi^{12}_\lambda(x_t)-\psi^{12}_\lambda(x_0 ) ) ] \\ & = \mathbf e\big[2\psi^{12}_\lambda(x_0 ) \int_0^t \omega \upsilon^{12}_\lambda(x_s ) ds\big ] \\ &
= \int_0^t \mathbf e[2\psi^{12}_\lambda(x_0)(\lambda+1 ) \mathbf e[\upsilon^{12}_\lambda(x_s)|\mathcal f_0 ] ] ds \\ & = 2\int_0^t(\lambda+1)e^{-(\lambda+1)s}ds \cdot \mathbf e[\psi^{12}_\lambda({x_0})\upsilon^{12}_\lambda({x_0 } ) ] \\ & \le \frac{4}{(\lambda+1)^2 } t \end{aligned}\ ] ] and the result follows . for the proofs of lemma [ l4b ] and lemma [ l5 ] we use moment calculations of the increments of @xmath550 and @xmath551 up to fourth order .
the calculations are presented in an algorithmic way such that higher moments can be computed along the same lines .
the fundamental idea is that all computations that need to be done are _ linear maps _ on the vector spaces : @xmath552 we point out that one advantage of using matrix algebra is that it is possible to use computer algebra software such as mathematica for automated computations .
apparently , a _ basis _ of the vector spaces @xmath553 and @xmath554 are given by ( recall from definition [ def : psiphi ] ) @xmath555 respectively . by inspection of e.g. lemma [ l1 ]
it is clear , that the generator @xmath95 gives rise to linear operators @xmath556 and @xmath557 .
the bases @xmath558 and @xmath559 can be ordered such that the matrices representing the linear maps @xmath95 on @xmath553 and @xmath554 are _ upper triangular _ ; see also lemma [ l1 ] . in the next section ,
we give the action of @xmath95 on the first 36 basis vectors for each basis .
the last basis vectors in these collections are given by @xmath560 where we write @xmath561 , and @xmath562 respectively . because of @xmath563 and @xmath564
both 36 s basis elements play important roles . here , we give the matrix representation of the generator @xmath95 in terms of the basis @xmath566 , i.e. we find matrices @xmath14 and @xmath567 such that @xmath568 the following list contains the action on the first 36 basis vectors from @xmath569 and @xmath559 . in 4 . as an example ( see below ) we are dealing with the function @xmath570{1 cm } { \beginpicture \setcoordinatesystem units < .5cm,.5 cm > \setplotarea x from 0 to 3 , y from 0 to 0.5 \circulararc -180 degrees from 0 0 center at 0.5 0 \circulararc -180 degrees from 1.5 0 center at 2 0 \endpicture}}as abbreviation.}\ ] ] as this symbol indicates , in @xmath571 , two non - overlapping pairs are sampled .
we have already seen in that @xmath572 our list only contains the last two terms ( which are equal in both equations ) which arise from by merging of a pair of leaves , i.e. merging for example the marked leaves in to or merging the marked leaves in to . the coefficient of @xmath573 in @xmath574 ( and of @xmath575 in @xmath576 ) is given such that the sum of coefficients in @xmath574 equals @xmath40 times the number of pairs ( i.e. 2 ) in @xmath573 ( and @xmath518 times the number of different indices ( i.e. 4 ) ) . since the table would be the same for the @xmath577 s , we restrict ourselves to the @xmath578 s . 1 . @xmath579 @xmath580 2 .
@xmath581 @xmath580 1x 3 .
@xmath582 @xmath580 1x 4 .
@xmath583 @xmath580 2x 1x 5 .
@xmath584 @xmath580 2x 4x 6 .
@xmath585 @xmath580 1x 7 .
@xmath586 @xmath580 1x 1x 1x 8 .
@xmath587 @xmath580 3x 9 .
@xmath588 @xmath580 1x 1x 4x 10 .
@xmath589 @xmath580 3x 3x 11 .
@xmath590 @xmath580 3x 2x 1x 12 .
@xmath591 @xmath580 1x 2x 1x 2x + 4x 13 .
3x 12x 14 .
@xmath593 @xmath580 1x 15 .
@xmath594 @xmath580 1x 1x 1x 16 .
@xmath595 @xmath580 2x 1x 17 .
@xmath596 @xmath580 1x 2x 18 .
@xmath597 @xmath580 1x 2x 1x 1x 1x 19 .
@xmath598 @xmath580 1x 2x 2x 1x 20 .
3x 1x 2x 21 .
@xmath600 @xmath580 4x 2x 22 .
@xmath601 @xmath580 1x 2x 2x 1x 23 .
@xmath602 @xmath580 2x 4x 24 .
@xmath603 @xmath580 1x 1x 4x 25 .
@xmath604 @xmath580 4x 2x 1x + 2x 1x 26 .
@xmath605 @xmath580 2x 2x 1x + 2x 2x 1x 27 .
@xmath606 @xmath580 4x 6x 28 .
@xmath607 @xmath580 1x 2x 4x 2x + 1x 29 .
@xmath608 @xmath580 1x 1x 1x 2x + 2x 2x 1x 30 .
@xmath609 @xmath580 1x 3x 6x 31 .
@xmath610 @xmath580 4x 4x 4x + 1x 2x 32 .
@xmath611 @xmath580 1x 2x 4x + 8x 33 .
@xmath612 @xmath580 1x 3x 6x + 2x 3x 34 .
@xmath613 @xmath580 1x 3x 4x + 4x 2x 1x 35 .
@xmath614 @xmath580 2x 2x + 4x 1x 4x + 8x 36 .
@xmath615 @xmath580 4x 24x for the matrices @xmath14 ( and @xmath567 ) representing @xmath95 in terms of the basis @xmath558 ( and @xmath559 ) , we give here only the first 13 ( 5 ) rows and columns for @xmath14 ( @xmath567 ) , which are dealing with samples of at most three ( two ) pairs ( i.e. @xmath616 ( @xmath617 ) in ) . for @xmath14 , we get @xmath618 while for @xmath567 we have @xmath619 note that both matrices are diagonalisable .
the reason is that the submatrix containing the same eigenvalue ( take @xmath620 in @xmath14 above as an example ) is diagonal .
hence , there are three independent eigenvectors for this eigenvalue and so , we find a basis of eigenvectors . in the rest of this section ,
the calculations for the @xmath531 s and @xmath532 s are completely analogous using the @xmath621 s instead of the @xmath622 s .
hence , we only present the calculations concerning @xmath531 s . during our calculations , we need to be able to compute terms like @xmath623 $ ] for @xmath624 . we do this using the following procedure .
we have given the following objects : 1 .
a basis @xmath625 such that @xmath626 , i.e. @xmath622 is an eigenvector of the generator @xmath95 for the eigenvalue @xmath539 ( where @xmath627 . as argued below , these eigenvectors
exist , since @xmath14 is diagonalisable .
2 . a diagonal matrix @xmath628 with diagonal entries @xmath629 in the @xmath139th line . since the @xmath539 s are given by 1 .
, this matrix is readily obtained .
an invertible matrix @xmath630 , such that @xmath631 and @xmath632 .
these two matrices accomplish a change of basis from @xmath566 to @xmath633 and back .
+ since @xmath634 is the basis of eigenvectors of the matrix @xmath14 , the matrices @xmath635 and @xmath636 are obtained by standard linear algebra .
we stress that both matrices are lower triangular since @xmath14 is lower triangular .
then , because @xmath637 are martingales , ( compare with lemma [ l1 ] ) , @xmath638 & = m_{\underline\upsilon_\lambda}^{\underline\psi_\lambda}\cdot \mathbf e[\underline \upsilon_\lambda(x_t)|\mathcal f_s]^\top = m_{\underline\upsilon_\lambda}^{\underline\psi_\lambda}\cdot d_{t - s } \cdot \underline \upsilon_\lambda(x_s)^\top \\ & = m_{\underline\upsilon_\lambda}^{\underline\psi_\lambda}\cdot d_{t - s } \cdot m_{\underline\psi_\lambda}^{\underline\upsilon_\lambda}\cdot \underline \psi_\lambda(x_s)^\top .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] this means that conditioning linear combinations of elements in @xmath639 on @xmath459 can be represented by a composition of linear maps .
we need to compute the action of multiplying an element of @xmath640 with @xmath509 .
since @xmath553 is actually an algebra of functions ( see remark [ rem : intphi ] and remark 2.8 in @xcite ) , this can be done .
we have that @xmath641 this means that there is a linear matrix @xmath642 such that @xmath643 apparently , @xmath642 is the matrix for a linear map on @xmath553 , with respect to the basis @xmath558 .
again , we only give the calculations for the @xmath578 s in detail .
we use @xmath644 by construction , we obtain for all @xmath645 @xmath646 = \mathbf e[(\underline\upsilon_\lambda(x_\infty ) m_{{\underline \upsilon_{\lambda}}}^{{\underline \psi_{\lambda}}})_{k } ] = ( m_{{\underline \upsilon_{\lambda}}}^{{\underline \psi_{\lambda}}})_{\emptyset ; k}\end{aligned}\ ] ] since @xmath530 = 0 $ ] for @xmath647 as in .
hence , @xmath648 plugging the last expressions in gives the result .
now we can compute the fourth moments of the increments of @xmath649 .
again , we only give the proof of the first assertion .
the second follows by replacing the @xmath578 s by the @xmath577 s . using minkowski s inequality and the fact that we start in equilibrium we have @xmath650 \bigr)^{1/4 } & \le \bigl ( \mathbf e[(\psi^{12}_\lambda(x_t))^4 ] \bigr)^{1/4 } + \bigl ( \mathbf e[(\psi^{12}_\lambda(x_0))^4 ] \bigr)^{1/4 } \\ & = 2 \bigl ( \mathbf e[\psi^{12,34,56,78}_\lambda(x_0 ) ] \bigr)^{1/4 } \end{aligned}\ ] ] and therefore , since @xmath651 = \mathcal o ( \lambda^{-4})$ ] as @xmath493 by , we have @xmath652 & \le 2 ^ 4 ( \lambda+1)^4 \mathbf e[\psi^{12,34,56,78}_\lambda(x_0 ) ] = \mathcal o(1).\end{aligned}\ ] ] thus , the expression on the left hand side of is _
bounded_. now , using @xmath653 we obtain , @xmath654 \\ & = \mathbf e[\psi^{12,34,56,78}_\lambda(x_t ) - \psi^{12,34,56,78}_\lambda(x_0 ) ] \\ &
\qquad \qquad - 4\mathbf e\big[\psi^{12}_\lambda(x_0)\big(\psi^{12,34,56}_\lambda(x_t ) - \psi^{12,34,56}_\lambda(x_0)\big)\big ] \\ & \qquad \qquad \qquad \qquad + 6 \mathbf e\big[\psi^{12,34}_\lambda(x_0)\big(\psi^{12,34}_\lambda(x_t ) - \psi^{12,34}_\lambda(x_0)\big)\big ] \\ & \qquad \qquad \qquad \qquad \qquad \qquad - 4 \mathbf e[\psi^{12,34,56}_\lambda(x_0)\big(\psi^{12}_\lambda(x_t ) - \psi^{12}_\lambda(x_0)\big)\big ] \\ & = -4 \int_0^t \mathbf e[\psi^{12}_\lambda(x_0 ) \omega \psi^{12,34,56}_\lambda(x_s)]ds + 6\int_0^t \mathbf e[\psi^{12,34}_\lambda(x_0)\omega\psi^{12,34}_\lambda(x_s)]ds \\ & \qquad \qquad \qquad \qquad \qquad \qquad \qquad \qquad \quad - 4 \int_0^t \mathbf e[\psi^{12,34,56}_\lambda(x_0)\omega\psi^{12}_\lambda(x_s ) ] ds , \end{aligned}\ ] ] because @xmath655 , since we start in equilibrium .
let us consider the expectation in the second term on the right hand side .
we have @xmath656 & = \mathbf e[\psi^{12,34}_\lambda(x_0)\mathbf e[\omega\psi^{12,34}_\lambda(x_s)|\mathcal f_0 ] ] \\ & = \mathbf e[\psi^{12,34}_\lambda(x_0)\big(a \cdot \mathbf e[\underline{\psi}_\lambda(x_s)|\mathcal f_0]\big)_{12,34 } ] \\ & = \mathbf e[\psi^{12,34}_\lambda(x_0)\big(a \cdot m_{\underline \upsilon_\lambda}^{\underline\psi_\lambda } \mathbf e[\underline{\upsilon}_\lambda(x_s)|\mathcal f_0]\big)_{12,34 } ] \\ & = \mathbf e[\psi^{12,34}_\lambda(x_0)\big(a \cdot m_{\underline \upsilon_\lambda}^{\underline\psi_\lambda } d_s m_{\underline \psi_\lambda}^{\underline\upsilon_\lambda } \underline{\psi}_\lambda(x_0)\big)_{12,34 } ] \\ & = \mathbf e[\psi^{12}_\lambda(x_0)\big(a \cdot m_{\underline \upsilon_\lambda}^{\underline\psi_\lambda } d_s m_{\underline \psi_\lambda}^{\underline\upsilon_\lambda } q\underline{\psi}_\lambda(x_0)\big)_{12,34 } ] \\ & = \mathbf e[\big(a \cdot m_{\underline \upsilon_\lambda}^{\underline\psi_\lambda } d_s m_{\underline \psi_\lambda}^{\underline\upsilon_\lambda } q q \underline{\psi}_\lambda(x_0)\big)_{12,34 } ] .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] the expression in the last line can easily be integrated in @xmath413 over @xmath657 $ ] , because only @xmath658 depends on @xmath413 .
in addition , @xmath101 is in equilibrium and hence , the expectation can be evaluated using the equilibrium distribution of @xmath103 .
all three terms in the right hand side of can be computed analogously .
using mathematica , we see that holds .
by lemma [ l.reform ] we have to show that holds .
recall @xmath509 from .
we abbreviate @xmath659 and compute , using lemma [ l4b ] @xmath660 \xrightarrow{\lambda\to\infty } \frac{3}{4}. \end{aligned}\ ] ] therefore , there is @xmath38 , such that @xmath661}{\varepsilon^4 } \leq \frac{c}{\varepsilon^4 \lambda^2}.\end{aligned}\ ] ] it follows that almost surely @xmath662 for at most finitely many @xmath70 by the borel cantelli lemma .
thus , @xmath663 holds almost surely and the result is shown .
recall that is the short form of @xmath664 furthermore , since @xmath665 is the probability of sampling a leaf from @xmath666 under the sampling measure ( and hence , @xmath667 is the probability of picking two leaves from @xmath666 ) , for every realisation of @xmath668 and @xmath669 we have @xmath670.\end{aligned}\ ] ] here we set @xmath671 , i.e. the distribution of the distance of two randomly chosen leaves .
thus , the assertion of lemma [ l.reform ] is the equivalence of @xmath672 and @xmath673 \xrightarrow{\varepsilon \to 0 } 1 $ ] .
this equivalence is implied by classical tauberian theorems , as e.g. given in theorem 3 , chapter xiii.5 of @xcite .
we proceed in three steps . * * step 1 : * tightness of one - dimensional distributions of @xmath674 . *
* step 2 : * moments and covariance structure . * * step 3 : * tightness of @xmath674 in path - space ( in the space of continuous functions ) .
_ step 1 : tightness of one - dimensional distributions of @xmath675 .
_ we obtain from remark [ rem : reference ] , @xmath676 & = \lambda \mathbf e[(\lambda t+1)^2 \psi_{\lambda t}^{12,34 } - 2(\lambda t+1)\psi^{12}_{\lambda t}+1 ] \xrightarrow { \lambda\to\infty } \frac1{2 t } , \end{aligned}\ ] ] which shows the claimed tightness .
_ step 2 : moments and covariance structure .
_ for the covariance structure , we have to compute moments of @xmath677 which are not included in the manuscript up to here .
we set @xmath678 then @xmath679 now , in order to compute the covariance structure and higher moments , we write , again using mathematica , @xmath680 & = \lambda \mathbf e[(s\lambda + 1)(t\lambda + 1)\psi^{12,34}_{s\lambda , t\lambda}-1 ] \\ & = \frac{4 s t \lambda^3 } { ( ( s+t)\lambda+1 ) ( ( s+t)\lambda+3 ) ( ( s+t)\lambda+6 ) } \\ & \xrightarrow{\lambda\to\infty}\frac{4st}{(s+t)^3}. \end{aligned}\ ] ] for the third moment , @xmath681 = \lambda^{3/2}\frac{16 t^3\lambda^3 ( 5t^2\lambda^2 + 9 t\lambda - 10)}{(t\lambda + 2)(t\lambda + 3 ) ( t\lambda + 5 ) ( 2t\lambda+1 ) ( 2t\lambda+3 ) ( 3t\lambda+1 ) ( 3 t\lambda+10 ) } \xrightarrow{\lambda\to\infty } 0.\end{aligned}\ ] ] the fourth moment was already given in .
_ step 3 : tightness of @xmath674 in path - space .
_ here , we show that there exists @xmath38 , which is independent of @xmath40 , such that @xmath682\leq c(t - s)^2\end{aligned}\ ] ] for @xmath683 .
tightness then follows from step 1 and the kolmogorov chentsov criterion . in order to show , we simplify the notation and suppress the dependency on @xmath165 . from
, we read off @xmath684 $ ] .
then , the result follows from @xmath685 with an application of mathematica and is shown .
as in the proof of theorem [ t1 ] , we only need to show the assertion in the case @xmath161 due to absolute continuity recalled in proposition [ p : main ] . in this case , the proof of the theorem requires the following three steps : * * step 1 : * instead of starting in @xmath686 , it suffices to start in equilibrium and then show . * * step 2 : * assume that @xmath686 is in equilibrium , i.e. @xmath252 . then , the set of processes @xmath687 is tight in @xmath424 .
* * step 3 : * the finite - dimensional distributions of @xmath688 converge to 0 as @xmath502 .
these steps imply that the object in converges to @xmath182 in distribution , which is ( in the case of convergence to a constant ) equivalent to convergence in probability .
_ step 1 : start in equilibrium .
_ let @xmath689 with @xmath690 be the tree - valued fleming viot process started in equilibrium .
then , @xmath103 and @xmath691 can be coupled such that for @xmath191 @xmath692 for all @xmath693 which depends only on elements in @xmath88 with values at most @xmath1 .
recall the moran model approximation . observe that distances evolve with time of rate @xmath1 and may change by resampling events by being reset to zero .
the coupling arises in this model for every @xmath449 by taking the same resampling events for @xmath103 and @xmath691 which defines the two processes on a common probability space . for this coupling , @xmath694 taking now on this common probability space the limit @xmath695 results in the coupled laws . hence , it suffices to prove the assertion when started in equilibrium , i.e. 1
. holds for all assertions which concern properties which depend only on distances below a threshold and in particular all limiting properties close to the leaves .
_ step 2 : tightness of @xmath696 .
_ this is clearly implied by lemma [ l5 ] and the kolmogorov
chentsov criterion for tightness in @xmath424 .
_ step 3 : convergence of finite - dimensional distributions to 0 .
_ this follows from lemma [ l2 ] .
we proceed in several steps . * * step 0 * : warm up ; computation of first two moments of @xmath697 . * * step 1 * : the family @xmath698 is tight in @xmath424 . *
* step 2 * : if @xmath699 is a limit point , then @xmath699 and @xmath700 are both martingales . throughout
we let @xmath427 be the canonical filtration of the process @xmath0 .
_ step 0 : computation of first two moments of @xmath701 .
_ we start with some basic computations which we will need in the sequel .
first , recall that @xmath702 and by lemma [ l1 ] @xmath703 = e^{-\lambda ( t - s)}\cdot ( \lambda+1)\upsilon^{12}_\lambda(x_s ) .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] then , by fubini s theorem @xmath704 & = \lambda \int_s^t \mathbf e[(\lambda+1)\upsilon^{12}_\lambda(x_r)| \mathcal f_s]\ , dr \\ & = \lambda \int_s^t e^{-\lambda ( r - s ) } \cdot ( \lambda+1)\upsilon^{12}_\lambda(x_s ) \ , dr \\ & = ( 1-e^{-\lambda ( t - s)})\cdot ( \lambda+1)\upsilon^{12}_\lambda(x_s ) .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] we compute @xmath705 which already implies that @xmath706 \xrightarrow{\lambda\to\infty } 0 \quad \text { in } l^2,\end{aligned}\ ] ] since we started in equilibrium . hence @xmath707 = 0 $ ] as in lemma .
next , we come to the second moment @xmath708 = \lambda^2 \cdot \mathbf e\big[\big(\int_s^t ( \lambda+1)^2 \upsilon^{12}_\lambda(r)\ , dr\big)^2\big|\mathcal f_s\big ] \\ & = 2\lambda^2 \cdot \int_s^t \int_{r_1}^t\mathbf e\big [ ( \lambda+1)\upsilon^{12}_\lambda(x_{r_1 } ) \mathbf e[(\lambda+1)\upsilon^{12}_\lambda(x_{r_2})|\mathcal f_{r_1 } ] \big| \mathcal f_{s}\big]\ , dr_2\ , dr_1 \\ & = 2\lambda^2 \cdot \int_s^t \int_{r_1}^t\mathbf e\big [ ( \lambda+1)^2\upsilon^{12}_\lambda(x_{r_1 } ) e^{-(\lambda+1)(r_2-r_1 ) } \upsilon^{12}_\lambda(x_{r_1 } ) \big| \mathcal f_{s}\big ] \ , dr_2\ , dr_1 \\ & = 2\frac{\lambda^2}{\lambda+1 } \int_s^t ( 1-e^{-(\lambda+1)(t - r_1 ) } ) \cdot \mathbf e[((\lambda+1)\upsilon^{12}_\lambda(x_{r_1}))^2|\mathcal f_s ] \ , dr_1 \\ & = t - s + a_{\lambda } , \end{aligned}\ ] ] with @xmath709 \ ,
dr_1 , \end{split}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath710 since @xmath711 we have @xmath712 & \xrightarrow{\lambda\to\infty } t - s \quad\text { in } l^1.\end{aligned}\ ] ] _ step 1 : the family @xmath698 is tight in @xmath713 .
_ again , we use the kolmogorov chentsov criterion . to this end
we bound the fourth moments of the increments in @xmath714 by @xmath715 \\ & = \lambda^4 \cdot \mathbf e\big [ \big ( \upsilon^{12}_\lambda(x_t ) - \upsilon^{12}_\lambda(x_0 ) - \int_0^t ( \lambda+1 ) \upsilon^{12}_\lambda(x_s)ds - \psi^{12}_\lambda(x_t ) + \psi^{12}_\lambda(x_0)\big)^4\big ] \\ & \lesssim \lambda^4 \big ( \mathbf e[\big(\upsilon^{12}_\lambda(x_t ) - \upsilon^{12}_\lambda(x_0 ) - \int_0^t ( \lambda+1 ) \upsilon^{12}_\lambda(x_s)ds \big)^4\big ] \\ &
+ \mathbf e\big[(\psi^{12}_\lambda(x_t ) - \psi^{12}_\lambda(x_0))^4\big]\big ) .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] the second term is bounded by @xmath716 for some @xmath38 which is independent of @xmath40 by lemma [ l5 ] .
for the first term , we use the burkholder davis
gundy inequality and write ( recall lemma [ l1 ] and the quadratic variation of the semimartingale @xmath717 from remark [ rem : qv ] ) by @xmath718 \\ & \lesssim \lambda^4 \mathbf e\big [ [ \psi^{12}_\lambda(\mathcal x)]_t^2\big ] \\ & = \lambda^4 \int_0^t \int_0^s \mathbf e\big [ ( \psi^{12,23}_\lambda(x_r ) - \psi^{12,34}_\lambda(x_r ) ) \cdot \mathbf e [ \psi^{12,23}_\lambda(x_s ) - \psi^{12,34}_\lambda(x_s ) |\mathcal f_r]\big ] \ , dr \ , ds .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] we have to show that the integrand is of order @xmath719 , if @xmath101 is in equilibrium .
first , we compute the conditional expectation using lemma [ l1].2 using and obtain @xmath720 \\ & = \mathbf e\big[\frac{1}{10 } \upsilon^{12,12}_\lambda(x_s ) -\frac 13 \upsilon^{12,23}_\lambda(x_s ) - \upsilon^{12,34}_\lambda(x_s ) - \frac{2}{(\lambda+2)(\lambda+5 ) } \upsilon^{12}_\lambda(x_s)\big|\mathcal f_r\big ] \\ & \qquad \qquad \qquad \qquad \qquad \qquad \qquad \qquad \qquad \qquad + \frac{\lambda^2}{(\lambda+1)(\lambda+3)(2\lambda+1)(2\lambda+3 ) } \\ & = e^{-(2\lambda+1)(s - r ) } \frac{1}{10 } \upsilon^{12,12}_\lambda(x_r ) -e^{-(2\lambda+3)(s - r)}\frac 13 \upsilon^{12,23}_\lambda(x_r ) - e^{-(2\lambda+6)(s - r)}\upsilon^{12,34}_\lambda(x_r ) \\ & \qquad \qquad - e^{-(\lambda+1)(s - r)}\frac{2}{(\lambda+2)(\lambda+5 ) } \upsilon^{12}_\lambda(x_r ) + \frac{\lambda^2}{(\lambda+1)(\lambda+3)(2\lambda+1)(2\lambda+3)}. \end{aligned}\ ] ] abbreviating @xmath721 , note that by and the last display , the integrand in is a linear combination of terms of the form @xmath722)]$ ] for @xmath723 .
we compute all these terms : @xmath724 \\ & = \mathbf e[\psi^{12,23,45 } - \psi^{12,34,56 } ] - \frac{1}{\lambda+1}\mathbf e[\psi^{12,23}_\lambda - \psi^{12,34}_\lambda]\\ & = \frac{4 \lambda^3 ( 5 \lambda^2 + 9 \lambda -10)}{(\lambda+1)^2 ( \lambda+3 ) ( \lambda+5 ) ( 4 \lambda^2 + 8 \lambda + 3 ) ( 9 \lambda^3 + 51 \lambda^2 + 76 \lambda + 20 ) } \\ & = \mathcal o\big(\frac{1}{\lambda^4}\big ) , \end{aligned}\ ] ] @xmath725 \\ & = \mathbf e[\psi^{12,12,34,45}_\lambda - \psi^{12,12,34,56 } ] - \frac{1}{2\lambda+1 } \mathbf e[\psi^{12,23}_\lambda - \psi^{12,34}_\lambda ] \\ & = \frac{2 \lambda^3 ( 1576 \lambda^6 + \mathcal o(\lambda^5 ) ) } { 3 ( \lambda + 3 ) ( 2 \lambda + 1)^2 ( 4 \lambda + 15 ) ( 2 \lambda^2 + 5 \lambda + 3)^2 ( 96 \lambda^5 + \mathcal o(\lambda^4 ) ) } \\ & = \mathcal o\big(\frac{1}{\lambda^4}\big ) , \end{aligned}\ ] ] @xmath726 \\ & = \mathbf e\big[\psi^{12,23,45,56}_\lambda - \psi^{12,23,45,67 } ] - \frac{5\lambda+3}{(\lambda+1 ) ( \lambda+3 ) ( 2\lambda+1 ) ( 2\lambda+3)}\mathbf e[\psi^{12,23}_\lambda - \psi^{12,34}_\lambda ] \\ &
= \frac{2 \lambda^2 ( 683976 \lambda^9 + \mathcal o(\lambda^8 ) ) } { 9 ( \lambda+3 ) ( 2\lambda+1)^2 ( 2\lambda^2 + 5\lambda+3)^2 ( 4 \lambda^2 + 41 \lambda + 105 ) ( 1152 \lambda^7 + \mathcal o(\lambda^6 ) ) } \\ & = \mathcal o\big(\frac{1}{\lambda^5}\big ) , \end{aligned}\ ] ] @xmath727 \\ & = \mathbf e[\psi^{12,23,45,67}_\lambda - \psi^{12,34,56,78}_\lambda ] - \frac{4 \lambda^2 + 18 \lambda + 9}{(\lambda+1 ) ( \lambda+3 ) ( 2\lambda+1 ) ( 2\lambda+3)}\mathbf e[\psi^{12,23}_\lambda - \psi^{12,34}_\lambda ] \\ & = \frac{4 \lambda^2 ( 20480 \lambda^{11 } + \mathcal o(\lambda^{10 } ) ) } { ( \lambda+3)^2 ( \lambda+7 ) ( 2\lambda+1)^2 ( 2 \lambda^2 + 5 \lambda
+ 3 ) ^2 ( 4608 \lambda^9 + \mathcal o(\lambda^8 ) ) } \\ & = \mathcal o\big(\frac{1}{\lambda^5}\big ) , \end{aligned}\ ] ] which shows that the integrand on the right hand side of is @xmath728 .
hence , we have shown that there is a constant @xmath38 such that @xmath729 \leq c(t - s)^2\end{aligned}\ ] ] and we have shown tightness of @xmath730 . _ step 2 : if @xmath731 is a limit point , @xmath731 as well as @xmath732 are martingales .
_ let @xmath299 be a weak limit point of @xmath733 .
the claimed martingale properties follow by the same arguments as in step 3 of the proof of theorem [ t2 ] .
to get a first idea , let us do a little computation . by fubini s theorem , dominated convergence theorem and lemma [ l1 ] , we get @xmath734 & = \lim_{\lambda\to\infty } \int_0^t \mathbf e\big [ \psi^{12}_\lambda(x_t)\big ] dt \\ & = \lim_{\lambda\to\infty } \frac{1}{\lambda+1}\int_0^t ( 1 - \mathbf e\big [ \omega\psi^{12}_\lambda(x_t)\big])\ , dt \\ & = \lim_{\lambda\to\infty } \frac{1}{\lambda+1}\big ( t - \mathbf e[\psi^{12}_\lambda(x_t ) - \psi^{12}_\lambda(0)]\big ) = 0 , \end{aligned}\ ] ] thus , since @xmath17 has no atom @xmath735 @xmath736 , @xmath737 our task is to remove the _
almost _ in the @xmath738 on the left hand side . as in the proof of theorem [ t3 ]
, it suffices to show the assertion if @xmath252 .
recall that @xmath739 from lemma [ l1 ] .
hence , for all @xmath740 , the process @xmath741 defined as @xmath742 is a continuous martingale with quadratic variation ( recall remark [ rem : qv ] ) @xmath743_t = \int_0^t \bigl(\psi^{12,23}_\lambda(x_s ) - \psi^{12,34}_\lambda(x_s)\bigr ) ds.\end{aligned}\ ] ] using and recalling from lemma [ l1 ] that the @xmath744 s are mean - zero martingales @xmath745 = \lim_{\lambda \to \infty } \int_0^t \mathbf e[\psi^{12,23}_\lambda(x_s ) - \psi^{12,34}_\lambda(x_s)]\ , ds = 0.\end{aligned}\ ] ] this implies for all @xmath191 by doob s maximal inequality : @xmath746 hence , by and , there is a subsequence @xmath213 with @xmath748 almost surely .
recall that we can characterize the existence of atoms by the property whether we can draw two points at distance zero or not which we can in turn characterize by the @xmath493 limit of the sample laplace transform . combining with and with ( which allows us to discard the @xmath749 ) gives @xmath750 +
an [ l : char ] mmm - space @xmath323 admits a mark function if there is a sequence @xmath212 with @xmath751 where @xmath752 are two independent pairs distributed according to @xmath11 .
equivalently , @xmath753 _ step 1 : proof of lemma [ l : char]_. since @xmath11 is a probability measure on @xmath13 , we can write @xmath754 for some probability kernel @xmath755 from @xmath756 to @xmath14 . we have to show that @xmath757 only has a single atom for @xmath758-almost every @xmath759
. then , for all sequences @xmath212 @xmath763 applying this to the pairs @xmath764 and @xmath765 gives @xmath766 \\ & \leq ( 1-\delta ' ) \cdot \mathbf p(\mathfrak u_1 , \mathfrak u_2\in u ' ) + \mathbf p(\mathfrak u_1\notin u ' \vee \mathfrak u_2\notin u ' ) < 1 . \end{aligned}\ ] ] hence , can not hold if @xmath767 .
this quantity however is by assumption bounded below by @xmath768 and we have shown lemma [ l : char ] . in order to see this , it suffices analogously to the proof of theorem [ t3 ] to consider @xmath161 and to start in equilibrium @xmath489 .
first , we assume that @xmath771 is non - atomic , i.e. from section [ s : prep ] holds . in this case
, we proceed as in steps 2 and 3 from section [ ss : prooft3 ] .
these steps rely on lemmata [ l2 ] and [ l5 ] , and the second assertions of these lemmata imply .
second , consider the general case , i.e. @xmath772 is not necessarily non - atomic .
it is straight - forward to construct a coupling @xmath773 such that @xmath0 and @xmath774 use the same resampling and mutation events , where mutant types in @xmath775 are chosen according to @xmath776 , but mutant types in @xmath774 are chosen ( at the same rate ) according to some non - atomic @xmath777 .
if @xmath778 , it is clear that mutant types in @xmath774 lead to new types in any case and thus , the inequality @xmath779 holds for all @xmath16 , almost surely . recall that we have already shown in theorem [ t3 ] that holds if @xmath780 is replaced by @xmath781 , and since @xmath782 is non - atomic , it also holds for @xmath783 by our arguments above .
hence , by , it also holds for @xmath784 , i.e. we have shown .
_ step 3 : combination of steps 1 and 2 gives theorem [ t6]_. fix @xmath785 .
it suffices to show that @xmath786 for all @xmath787 . using theorem [ t3 ] and step 2 above ,
take a sequence @xmath788 and set @xmath789 such that @xmath790 we use lemma [ l : char ] and the tauberian result from lemma [ l.reform ] with its obvious extension to @xmath513 to write : @xmath791 by .
this concludes the proof of theorem [ t6 ] .
s. evans .
kingman s coalescent as a random metric space . in _
stochastic models : proceedings of the international conference on stochastic models in honour of professor donald a. dawson , ottawa , canada , june 10 - 13 , 1998 ( l.g gorostiza and b.g .
ivanoff eds . )
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exchangeability and the evolution of large populations . in _ proceedings of the international conference on exchangeability in probability and statistics , rome , 6th-9th april , 1981 , in honour of professor bruno de finetti _ , pages 97112 .
north - holland elsevier , amsterdam , 1982 . | arxiv |
Rangail is a village in the Saharanpur district in Uttar Pradesh, India. It is situated about 16 km away from Saharanpur proper at the Highway Deoband. The population includes many communities e.g. Tyagi, Kashyap, Pal, Vishvakarma, Harijan, Salmani, Telli, Jhojje And Shekh. In this village, the main occupation is farming and Government Service.
There are many villages near Rangail. These are Sunehati kharkhari, Roopri, Feraheri,
Kolkie, Pathed, Hariyabas, Itava, khajoori etc.
References
Category:Villages in Saharanpur district | wikipedia |
prevalence of diabetes is rising rapidly in developing countries , and the global number of diabetes is estimated to reach 366 million in 2030 among adults aged 20 years [ 1 , 2 ] .
both type 1 and type 2 diabetes are powerful and independent risk factors for coronary artery disease ( cad ) , stroke , and peripheral arterial disease .
the global rise in diabetes burden has led to significant increase in health care expenditure .
studies have found that thyroid dysfunction is much common in diabetic population compared to nondiabetic population , and diabetes and thyroid disorders have been shown to mutually influence each other [ 5 , 6 ] .
most often thyroid dysfunction and type 1 diabetes are due to an autoimmune condition , whereas type 2 diabetes is mainly due to insulin resistance [ 7 , 8 ] .
thus , it seems that diabetes , especially type 1 , has potential link with thyroid dysfunction or vice versa . besides the effects due to high blood glucose in diabetics , low thyroid hormones independently increase the risk for cardiovascular diseases in both diabetic and nondiabetic patients [ 3 , 9 ] .
hence , assessment of thyroid function in the uprising diabetic patient number may be helpful in identifying cases of clinical and subclinical thyroid dysfunction thereby assisting in mitigating the harmful effects due to low thyroid hormones .
thus , we designed a study by selecting confirmed diabetic patients from eastern nepal and performed clinical and laboratory evaluation to investigate thyroid function status and associated risk factors .
a cross - sectional study was carried out among the diabetes mellitus patients attending biochemistry laboratory of b. p. koirala institute of health sciences , dharan , nepal , from february 2013 to january 2014 .
a total of 419 patients with diabetes mellitus were selected during the study period based on our inclusion criteria of having diabetes for at least 6 months .
those diabetic patients with known thyroid disorders , complications of diabetes mellitus , history of other illnesses , and hyperlipidemia as well as on corticosteroids therapy and on medications affecting thyroid function were excluded from the study .
diabetes mellitus was diagnosed on the basis of american diabetes association ( ada ) criteria and classification of type 1 diabetes from type 2 diabetes was done on basis of physician classifications based on the age of onset of diabetes and dependence on insulin therapy alone to achieve normal plasma glucose concentrations .
consent was taken from each patient and the study protocol was approved by the institute review board of b. p. koirala institute of health sciences , dharan .
each subject demographic ( age , sex ) and anthropometric measurements ( height , weight , and bmi ) including blood pressure ( systolic and diastolic ) , duration of diabetes , family history of diabetes mellitus and thyroid disease , and alcohol intake habit and smoking habit was recorded .
about 5 ml overnight fasting venous blood samples were collected at morning time from each patient .
blood glucose , glycated hemoglobin ( hba1c ) , total cholesterol , high density lipoprotein ( hdl ) cholesterol , low density lipoprotein ( ldl ) cholesterol , triglyceride , free triiodothyronine ( t3 ) , free tetraiodothyronine ( t4 ) , and thyroid stimulating hormone ( tsh ) were estimated .
blood glucose and hba1c were estimated using enzymatic method and by nycocard reader ii based on immunochromatographic principle , respectively .
serum free t3 , free t4 , and tsh were measured by using fluorescent immunoassay ( vidas , biomeriux sa , france ) .
similarly , total cholesterol and triglycerides were measured by enzymatic method ( kits from agappe diagnostics by biolyzer 100 ) .
ldl cholesterol and hdl cholesterol were estimated by homogeneous , direct method ( kits from gesan by biolyzer 100 ) .
thyroid dysfunction was said to occur if patients thyroid hormones fall outside the reference range ( free t3 ( 4.08.3 pmol / l ) , free t4 ( 9.020.0 pmol / l ) , and tsh level ( 0.255 miu / l ) ) .
the data generated from study was entered into ms excel and analyzed using spss version 11.0 .
continuous variables were expressed as mean sd values and categorical variables were expressed as percentage ( number ) .
one - way anova test was applied for continuous variables and chi square test was applied for categorical variables at 95% confidence interval . relative risk with 95% confidence interval ( ci
the study population comprised 53.22% males and 46.77% females with mean age of 51.27 15.33 years .
the mean age of males and females was 50.93 15.44 years and 51.66 15.24 years , respectively .
type 1 and type 2 diabetes mellitus patients were 4.3% ( n = 18 ) with mean age of 19.28 1.07 years and 95.7% ( n = 401 ) with mean age of 52.7 14.05 years , respectively .
the bmi among type 1 and type 2 diabetics was significantly different ( 22.64 1.58 kg / m versus 25.28 2.81 kg / m , p < 0.001 ) .
euthyroidism , subclinical hypothyroidism , overt hypothyroidism , and subclinical hyperthyroidism among study population were 64% ( n = 268 ) , 26.5% ( n = 111 ) , 5.5% ( n = 23 ) and 4.1% ( n = 17 ) , respectively .
significant difference in thyroid function status was observed among genders ( p = 0.024 ) .
significantly higher number of diabetic patients without thyroid dysfunction ( n = 39 , 9.3% ) had hypertension history compared to those with hypothyroidism ( both overt and subclinical ) ( n = 33 , 7.87% ) and subclinical hyperthyroidism ( n = 3 , 0.71% ) ( p = 0.046 ) . parameters of lipid profile were not significantly different among diabetic patients with thyroid dysfunction ( overt and subclinical hypothyroidism and subclinical hyperthyroidism ) and without thyroid dysfunction ( euthyroidism ) .
free t3 ( p < 0.001 ) , free t4 ( p < 0.001 ) , and tsh ( p <
demographic , anthropometric , and clinical parameters in the study population according to thyroid status , hypothyroidism ( both overt and subclinical ) , subclinical hyperthyroidism , and euthyroidism are shown in table 1 .
similarly , the level of different biochemical parameters in the study population according to thyroid function status is shown in table 2 .
kg / m versus 24.59 2.73 kg / m , p < 0.001 ) , systolic blood pressure ( 121.84 7.14 mmhg versus 119.72 6.45 mmhg , p = 0.001 ) , and fasting blood glucose ( 179.99 54.72 mg / dl versus 172.5 60.44 mg / dl , p = 0.005 ) than diabetic females , respectively . however , diabetic females had significantly higher hdl cholesterol ( 41.2 4.17 mg / dl versus 39.46 2.78 mg / dl , p < 0.001 ) and triglycerides ( 191.38 105.82 mg / dl versus 172.32 101.02 mg / dl , p = 0.024 ) than diabetic males .
diabetic males and females had no significant difference in diastolic blood pressure ( 81.41 5.66 mmhg versus 80.45 6.26 mmhg , p = 0.124 ) , hba1c ( 7.23 1.99% versus 7.19 1.75% , p = 0.411 ) , total cholesterol ( 188.44 54.91 mg / dl versus 192.44 50.97 mg / dl , p = 0.187 ) , ldl cholesterol ( 112.11 47.61 mg / dl versus 110.77 41.72 mg / dl , p = 0.704 ) , free t3 ( 5.03 1.21 pmol / l versus 5.04 1.39 pmol / l , p = 0.587 ) , free t4 ( 11.78 3.46 pmol / l versus 11.78 3.61 pmol / l , p = 0.914 ) , and tsh ( 4.02 3.27
miu / l versus 5.29 5.03 miu / l , p = 0.135 ) , respectively .
thyroid dysfunction was more common in type 1 diabetic patients ( 50% , n = 9 ) as compared to type 2 diabetic patients ( 35.41% , n = 142 ) and in diabetic females ( 42.85% , n = 84 ) than in diabetic males ( 30.04% , n = 67 ) .
hypothyroidism was the only thyroid dysfunction in type 1 diabetes patients , whereas it was the major thyroid dysfunction in type 2
significant risk factors for thyroid dysfunction were smoking ( relative risk 2.32 with 95% ci ( 1.852.91 , p < 0.001 ) ) , family history of thyroid disease ( relative risk 2.31 with 95% ci ( 1.842.91 , p < 0.001 ) ) , and female gender ( relative risk 1.42 with 95% ci ( 1.11.84 , p = 0.006 ) ) . when separately analyzed , significant risk factors for hypothyroidism included smoking ( relative risk of 2.56 with 95% ci ( 1.993.29 , p < 0.001 ) ) , family history of thyroid disease ( relative risk of 2.57 with 95% ci ( 2.03.31 , p < 0.001 ) ) , and female gender ( relative risk of 1.44 with 95% ci ( 1.091.91 , p = 0.01 ) ) .
however , smoking , family history of thyroid disease , and female gender did not appear as significant risk factors for subclinical hyperthyroidism .
age 60 years and duration of diabetes 5 years had relative risk of 1.03 with 95% ci ( 0.791.35 , p = 0.79 ) and 1.3 with 95% ci ( 1.01.68 , p = 0.053 ) , respectively , for thyroid dysfunction .
diabetic patients have susceptibility to different types of thyroid dysfunction , whether hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism ; at the same time , patients with thyroid dysfunction are susceptible to suffer from either type 1 diabetes or type 2 diabetes .
the present study finds thyroid dysfunction as a common endocrine disorder in diabetic patients , where we reported that 36.03% diabetic patients had thyroid dysfunction .
studies have reported high prevalence of thyroid dysfunction in nepal even in the general population .
a hospital based study by baral et al . in eastern nepal reported hypothyroidism and hyperthyroidism in 17.19% and 13.68% population , respectively .
similarly , in a study in kavre district of central nepal , thyroid dysfunction was observed in 31.84% metabolic syndrome patients .
while iodine nutrition has been rapidly improving in the past years in nepal , excess iodine intake , as indicated by recent studies in school children of eastern nepal , could also be a responsible factor for the high prevalence of thyroid dysfunction specifically hypothyroidism in our study population .
the most common thyroid dysfunction in the present study was subclinical hypothyroidism ( 26.5% ) followed by overt hypothyroidism ( 5.5% ) and subclinical hyperthyroidism ( 4.1% ) .
we reported higher prevalence of thyroid dysfunction in females ( 42.85% ) than in males ( 30.04% ) , which has been well observed in many studies .
our results are in agreement with previous studies in india , saudi arabia , and greece [ 5 , 14 , 15 ] . a retrospective study in india reported thyroid dysfunction in 31.2% of type 2 diabetic patients with 27.7% having hypothyroidism .
similarly , a study in saudi arabia found thyroid dysfunction in 28.5% of type 2 diabetic patients , with 25.3% having hypothyroidism .
prevalence of thyroid dysfunction was much lower than in our study among the type 2 diabetic patients of greece where thyroid dysfunction prevalence was 12.3% ( 5.53% in males and 18.48% in females ) .
we observed that thyroid dysfunction is more common in type 1 diabetic patients ( 50% ) than in type 2 diabetic patients ( 35.41% ) .
various studies have revealed that autoimmune thyroid disease is the commonest autoimmune disorder associated with type 1 diabetes .
type 1 diabetes and autoimmune thyroid disease share an autoimmune disposition , and recent studies have shown a shared genetic susceptibility to both conditions .
kordonouri et al . also found thyroid dysfunction to be more common in subjects with type 1 diabetes compared to those with type 2 diabetes and a 3.5-fold increased risk of autoimmune thyroiditis was noticed in gada positive patients .
thyroid hormones have prominent roles in regulating a number of metabolic pathways including lipoprotein metabolism .
we found that diabetic patients with thyroid disorders , hypothyroidism , or subclinical hyperthyroidism had higher total cholesterol and ldl cholesterol than those without thyroid dysfunction .
however , in the study in greece , patients with thyroid dysfunction had higher hdl cholesterol levels and lower values of ldl cholesterol levels in comparison with patients without thyroid dysfunction .
the present study reveals that hypertension ( 17.9% ) , smoking habit ( 19.3% ) , alcohol intake ( 31.5% ) , family history of diabetes mellitus ( 32.9% ) , and family history of thyroid disease ( 20.8% ) are common among nepalese patients with diabetes . among the various risk factors for thyroid dysfunction we studied , smoking , family history of thyroid disease , and female gender had significant risk for thyroid dysfunction ,
similar result was observed by papazafiropoulou et al . , who reported that presence of thyroid dysfunction was related with gender and ldl cholesterol levels in type 2 diabetic patients .
similarly , al - geffari et al . found family history of thyroid disease , female gender , and duration of diabetes of > 10 years as significant risk factor for thyroid dysfunction in type 2 diabetic patients . in a study by chubb et al .
subclinical hypothyroidism was associated with anti - tpo status and age , but there were no independent associations with serum cholesterol , history of coronary heart disease , hba1c , or hypoglycaemic therapy in diabetic women .
the nocturnal tsh peak is blunted or abolished , and the tsh response to trh is impaired .
reduced t3 levels have been observed in uncontrolled diabetic patients , which is due to impairment in peripheral conversion of t4 to t3 that normalizes with improvement in glycemic control .
higher levels of circulating insulin associated with insulin resistance have shown a proliferative effect on thyroid tissue resulting in larger thyroid size with increased formation of nodules .
diabetic patients have strong chance of developing thyroid dysfunction over the time course . a study by chubb et al .
, in women with type 2 diabetes without known thyroid disease at baseline , revealed that diabetic women develop subclinical hypothyroidism ( 8.6% ) over time as found after 5 years .
furthermore , it seems that unidentified thyroid dysfunction could negatively impact diabetes and its complications .
a higher frequency of retinopathy and nephropathy was observed in diabetic patients with subclinical hypothyroidism , and more severe retinopathy was noted as well .
thyroid function test is not a commonly recommended investigation in patients with diabetes especially in undeveloped countries like nepal .
based on our findings and the reported harmful effects of low thyroid hormones on cardiovascular health , we recommend the frequent screening ( 1 - 2 years ) of thyroid function in patients with diabetes .
our findings provide an evidence for the importance and necessity of thyroid function screening in patients with diabetes
the prevalence of anti - tpo antibodies in the study population could not be assessed .
assessment of anti - tpo antibodies would have provided clues for the thyroid autoimmunity status in the study population , which could have helped to explain the high rate of thyroid dysfunction .
autoimmunity against the thyroid gland is one of the most important causes for thyroid dysfunction .
anti - tpo antibody estimation helps in establishing the etiological diagnosis of autoimmune thyroid diseases .
anti - tpo antibodies are the most prevalent and present in 8090% of hashimoto 's thyroiditis , 6575% of grave 's disease , and 1020% of nodular goiter or thyroid carcinoma .
another limitation of the present study was that thyroid function was tested only once , which may have resulted in the inclusion of subjects with nonthyroidal illness .
the other limitation of the present study was that the iodine status of the study population was not assessed .
iodine excess and deficiency both are found to be associated with thyroid dysfunction and thus the concurrent prevalence of such iodine nutrition conditions in the study population may have some contributions to the high prevalence of thyroid dysfunction . in conclusion ,
the present study identifies thyroid dysfunction , as well as prominently subclinical hypothyroidism , as a common disorder in nepalese patients with diabetes .
diabetic patients with thyroid dysfunction had higher lipid levels ( total cholesterol and ldl cholesterol ) than patients without thyroid dysfunction , so diabetic patients with thyroid dysfunction are at higher risk for cardiovascular diseases than those with normal thyroid function . similarly , smoking , family history of thyroid disease , and female gender were associated with thyroid dysfunction ( mainly hypothyroidism ) in the study population .
thus , frequent screening for thyroid dysfunction especially in diabetic patients with family history of thyroid disease , female gender , and smoking habit needs to be done . | pubmed |
interpolation , which deals with the construction of a function in continuum from its availability in a finite set of points , is a rather old problem dating back to ancient babylon and greece . in view of its increasing relevance in this age of ever - increasing digitization
, it is quite natural that the subject of interpolation is receiving more and more attention .
consequently , a multitude of different interpolation schemes are being developed and reported in various places in the literature .
however , in times where all efforts are directed towards construction of smooth functions , the fact that many experimental and natural signals are
rough " having a dense set of nondifferentiable points or even nowhere differentiable was easily ignored . in 1986
, barnsley @xcite introduced the idea of fractal interpolation function ( fif ) aiming at data that require a continuous representation with `` high irregularity '' .
in words of barnsley : ..... ( these functions ) appear ideally suited for approximation of naturally occurring functions which display some kind of geometrical self - similarity under magnification , for instance , profiles of mountain ranges , tops of clouds and horizons over forests , temperatures in flames as a function of time , electroencephalograph pen traces and the minute by minute stock market index . in 1989 , barnsley and harrington @xcite provided a seminal result on differentiability of fractal functions , one which initiated a striking relationship between fractal functions and traditional nonrecursive interpolants , and lead to the creation of a subject which is now called fractal splines . since then , many researchers have contributed to the theory of fractal functions by constructing various types of fifs , including hermite or spline fifs ( see , for instance , @xcite ) , hidden variable fifs ( see , e.g. , @xcite ) , multivariate fifs ( see , e.g. , @xcite ) .
an operator theoretic formalism for fractal functions which enabled them to find extensive applications in various classical branches of mathematics was introduced and popularized by navascus @xcite . in spite of about a quarter century of its first pronouncement , fifs were extensively investigated only in terms of their algebraic and analytical properties such as fractal dimension , hlder exponent , differentiability , integrability , stability , and perturbation errors .
thus , these studies completely ignore one of the important properties of an interpolation scheme , namely , preserving shape inherent in the data . constrained control of interpolating curve
is a fundamental task and is an important subject that we face in applications including computer aided geometric design , data visualization , image analysis , cartography .
however , fractal functions are not well explored in the field of constrained interpolation .
motivated by theoretical and practical needs , the authors have initiated the study of shape preserving interpolation and approximation using fractal functions ; see , for instance , @xcite . however , these researches concern about preserving the three basic shape properties , namely , positivity , monotonicity , and convexity . on the other hand ,
there are practical situations wherein interpolating curves that lie completely above or below a prefixed curve , for instance , a polygonal ( piecewise linear function ) or a quadratic spline are sought - after .
the current article can be viewed as a contribution in this vein .
the impetus for the research direction reported here grew out of the works of qi duan et al .
@xcite .
the structure of this article is as follows .
we assemble some relevant definitions and facts concerning fractal interpolation in section [ icafw2sec1 ] . in section [ icafw2sec2 ]
, we briefly recall the rational cubic fractal spline studied in @xcite .
section [ icafw2sec3 ] is devoted to establish convergence of the rational cubic fractal spline .
strategies to select the free parameters involved in the rational cubic fifs so that they render interpolating curves that lie below or above a prescribed spline ( piecewise defined function ) are enunciated in section [ icafw2sec4 ] . in section [ icafw2sec5 ]
, we provide some numerical examples .
this section targets to a constellation of a few rudiments of fractal interpolation theory . for a detailed exposition
, the reader may consult the references @xcite .
+ the following notation and terminologies will be used throughout the article .
the set of real numbers will be denoted by @xmath0 , whilst set of natural numbers by @xmath1 . for a fixed @xmath2 ,
we shall write @xmath3 for the set of first @xmath4 natural numbers . given real numbers @xmath5 and @xmath6 with @xmath7 , we define @xmath8 $ ] to be the space of all real - valued functions on @xmath9 $ ] that are @xmath10-times differentiable with continuous @xmath10-th derivative
. + let @xmath11 and @xmath12 denote the cartesian coordinates of a finite set of points in the euclidean plane with strictly increasing abscissae .
set @xmath13 $ ] and @xmath14 $ ] for @xmath15 . in fractal interpolation , a continuous function @xmath16 satisfying @xmath17 for all @xmath18 and whose graph @xmath19 is a fractal ( self - referential set ) in the sense that @xmath19 is a union of transformed copies of itself is sought for .
there are two approaches for constructing fractal interpolation functions .
first method introduced by barnsley characterizes the graph of fif as an attractor of specifically chosen iterated function system , hence the graph of the fractal interpolant can be approximated by the chaos game " algorithm @xcite . in what follows ,
we supply the second approach , to wit , the construction of a fractal function as the unique fixed point of read - bajraktarevi operator defined on a suitable function space , which was popularized by massopust @xcite .
+ suppose @xmath20 , @xmath15 be affine maps satisfying @xmath21 for @xmath22 , let @xmath23 and @xmath24 be functions that are continuous in first argument and fulfill @xmath25 define @xmath26 it is valuable to note that both @xmath27 and @xmath28 are closed ( metric ) subspaces of the banach space @xmath29 .
define @xmath30 via @xmath31 the mapping @xmath32 is a contraction with contraction factor @xmath33 , and the fixed point @xmath34 of @xmath32 interpolates the data @xmath35 .
consequently , @xmath34 enjoys the functional equation @xmath36 by the banach fixed point theorem , it follows that @xmath34 can be evaluated by using @xmath37 where @xmath38 denotes the @xmath10-fold composition of @xmath32 , and @xmath39 is arbitrary .
further , by the collage theorem , for any @xmath40 @xmath41 if @xmath42 is defined by @xmath43 @xmath44 , then @xmath45 next let us point out the well - known fact that the notion of fractal interpolation can be applied to associate a family of fractal functions with a prescribed function @xmath46 .
this was observed originally by barnsley and explored in detail by navascus .
consider the maps @xmath47 where @xmath48 is a continuous function interpolating @xmath49 at the extremes of the interval and @xmath50 are real parameters satisfying @xmath51 , termed scaling factors .
the corresponding fif denoted by @xmath52 is referred to as @xmath53-fractal function for @xmath49 ( fractal perturbation of @xmath49 ) with scale vector @xmath53 , base function @xmath54 and partition @xmath55 of @xmath56 with increasing abscissae .
note that here the interpolation points are @xmath57 .
the function @xmath58 may be nondifferentiable and its fractal dimension ( minkowski dimension or hausdorff dimension ) depends on the parameter @xmath59 .
further , @xmath58 satisfies the functional equation @xmath60 with the notation @xmath61 , the following inequality points towards the approximation of @xmath49 with its fractal perturbation @xmath58 . @xmath62
let @xmath63 be a prescribed set of interpolation data with strictly increasing abscissae .
let @xmath64 be the derivative value at the knot point @xmath65 which is given or estimated with some standard procedures . for @xmath15 , denote by @xmath66 , the local mesh spacing @xmath67 , and let @xmath68 and @xmath69 be positive parameters referred to as shape parameters for obvious reasons .
a @xmath70-continuous rational cubic spline with linear denominator was introduced in @xcite as follows .
@xmath71 where @xmath72 in reference @xcite , the authors observe that for the construction of fractal perturbation @xmath58 of the rational spline @xmath49 involving shape parameters , it is more advantageous to work with a family of base functions @xmath73 instead of a single base function used in the traditional setting ( see eq .
( [ icafweq4 ] ) ) .
furthermore , for the fractal perturbation @xmath58 to be @xmath70- continuous , it suffices to choose the scaling parameters @xmath50 such that @xmath74 and base functions @xmath73 so that each @xmath75 agrees with @xmath49 at the extremes of the interpolation interval up to the first derivative . among various possibilities ,
the following choice is motivated by the simplicity it offers for the final expression of the desired fractal analogue of @xmath49 . @xmath76 where the coefficients @xmath77 , @xmath78 , @xmath79 , and @xmath80 are prescribed as @xmath81 therefore , in view of ( [ icafweq4 ] )
, the desired @xmath70-continuous rational cubic fractal spline is given by the expression @xmath82\big\}\theta(1-\theta)^2+\big\{(r_i+ 2t_i)y_{i+1 } \nonumber \\&&-t_i h_i d_{i+1 } -\alpha_i[(r_i + 2t_i)y_n - t_i(x_n - x_1)d_n]\big\}\theta^2(1-\theta ) , \nonumber\\ q_i(x)=q_i^*(\theta)&=&(1-\theta ) r_i+ \theta t_i,~~ i \in \mathbb{n}_{n-1},~ \theta= \frac{x - x_1}{x_n - x_1}.\end{aligned}\ ] ] a rational cubic spline with linear denominator which is based only on the function values is introduced in @xcite , pointing out that in some manufacturing processes the derivatives are difficult to obtain .
however , as far as we know , it differs from ( [ 11a ] ) and its construction only in the following way .
consider the given set of data points @xmath83 and the subset @xmath84 of interpolation points .
treating @xmath64 to be equal to the chord slope @xmath85 for @xmath86 , the rational cubic spline involving only the function values discussed in detail in @xcite can be deduced at once from ( [ 11a ] ) .
consequently , on similar lines , the following expression for the fractal rational cubic splines involving only function values can be obtained .
@xmath87\}\theta(1-\theta)^2+\nonumber\\ & & \{(2
t_i+r_i)y_{i+1}- h_i t_i \delta_{i+1}-\alpha_i[(2t_i + r_i)y_n - t_i ( x_n - x_1)\delta_n]\ } \theta^2(1-\theta),\nonumber\\ \hat{q_i}(x)&=&r_i ( 1-\theta ) + t_i \theta,~ i \in \mathbb{n}_{n-1},~ \theta= \frac{x - x_1}{x_n - x_1}.\end{aligned}\ ] ] hence , in principle , the analysis on the fractal spline structure ( [ 15 ] ) set about to do in the subsequent sections can be easily modified and adapted to the rational cubic spline fif given in eq .
( [ 22 ] ) .
the rate at which an interpolant @xmath34 approaches @xmath88 , the unknown function generating the data @xmath35 , is perhaps the most important factor deciding the efficacy of an interpolation scheme . in @xcite
, it has been established that the rational cubic fractal spline @xmath58 converges to @xmath89 with respect to the @xmath90-norm .
since order of continuity of @xmath58 is @xmath70 , it is natural to ask whether @xmath58 possesses uniform convergence as the norm of the partition approaches zero , if the data generating function is assumed to have a reduced order of continuity , namely @xmath70 . in this section
, we answer this in the affirmative .
+ note that the implicit and recursive nature inherent in the description of the fractal spline @xmath58 make it impossible or at least difficult to apply the standard tools for error analysis available in the classical interpolation theory for establishing its convergence . on the other hand
, we can base our analysis on the trustworthy triangle inequality @xmath91 following ( [ icafweq5 ] ) , it can be deduced at once that @xmath92 it can be read from @xcite that @xmath93 where @xmath94 , @xmath95 , @xmath96 , and @xmath97 . observing that @xmath98 for all @xmath15 , we obtain @xmath99 hence from ( [ new2 ] ) , the perturbation error obeys @xmath100 as an interlude to our analysis , we have the following theorem which deals with the first summand of the inequality ( [ new1 ] ) , namely , the interpolation error of the traditional rational cubic spline @xmath49 ( cf .
( [ 11a ] ) ) with respect to the uniform norm .
[ errorthm1 ] let @xmath35 be a prescribed set of interpolation data generated by a function @xmath101 and @xmath49 be the corresponding traditional nonrecursive rational cubic spline with linear denominator .
assume that the derivatives at the knots are given or estimated by some linear approximation methods ( for instance , arithmetic mean method ) .
then the local error of the interpolation is given by @xmath102 where for the local variable @xmath103 , the constant @xmath104 is given by @xmath105 consider the error function @xmath106 as a linear functional which operates on @xmath88 .
direct calculations confirm that the linear functional annihilates polynomials of degree strictly less than one . by the peano kernel theorem @xcite : @xmath107=e(\phi;x)= \phi(x)-f(x)=\int_{x_i}^{x_{i+1}}\phi'(\tau)l_{x}[(x-\tau)^0_{+ } ] ~d\tau,\ ] ] where the kernel function is given by @xmath108 = \left\ { \begin{array}{lr } r(\tau , x ) ~~
\text{if}~~ x_{i}<\tau < x,\\ s(\tau , x ) ~~ \text{if}~~ x<\tau < x_{i+1}. \end{array } \right.\ ] ] here the notation @xmath109 is used to emphasize that the functional @xmath110 is applied to the truncated power function @xmath111 considered as a function of @xmath112 . denoting @xmath113 , a rigorous calculation yields @xmath114 using the above expression for the kernel function in ( [ e1 ] ) , we obtain the following chain of relations : @xmath115~d\tau \big|,\\ & \le & \|\phi'\| \int_{x_i}^{x_{i+1 } } \big|l_x [ ( x-\tau)^0_{+ } ] \big|~d\tau , \\ & \le & \|\phi'\| \big\{\int_{x_i}^{x } r(\tau , x)~d\tau -\int_{x}^{x_{i+1 } } s(\tau , x)~d \tau \big \},\\ & = & \|\phi'\|\big\ { \frac{r_i ( 1-\varphi)(1-\varphi^2)+t_i\varphi(1-\varphi)^2}{(1-\varphi)r_i+\varphi t_i}(x - x_i)\\&&+\frac{r_i \varphi^2(1-\varphi)+t_i\varphi^2(2-\varphi)}{(1-\varphi)r_i+\varphi t_i}(x_{i+1}-x)\big\},\\ & = & \|\phi'\|h_i c_i,\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath116 denotes the uniform norm on the subinterval @xmath117 $ ] .
this offers the promised result .
moving now to the crux of this section , we have the following theorem , whose proof is immediate from the foregoing discussion and the theorem .
let @xmath35 be a prescribed set of interpolation data generated by a function @xmath101 . assume further that the derivatives at the knots are obtained by some linear approximation methods .
let @xmath58 be the corresponding rational cubic spline fif .
then @xmath118\\ & & + c h\|\phi'\|_\infty,\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath119 the following remark highlights the important fact to which the preceding theorem sheds light .
if @xmath120 is the data generating function and @xmath58 is the rational cubic fractal spline corresponding to the data set , then @xmath121 ergo , @xmath58 converges uniformly to the original function , as the norm of the partition tends to zero .
let us point out , at least for the sake of good bookkeeping , that the application of triangle inequality does not imply that the error in approximating a continuously differentiable function @xmath88 with the fractal spline @xmath58 is always greater than or equal to the error in approximation by its classical counterpart @xmath49 .
we employed the triangle inequality just to demonstrate that the fractal spline @xmath58 has the same order of convergence as that of the classical rational spline @xmath49 .
finding appropriate @xmath53 for which @xmath58 is close to @xmath88 is an entirely different problem , which can be shown to be a constrained convex optimization problem with the aid of collage theorem @xcite .
there is no reason to believe that the solution would always be @xmath122 , which corresponds to the classical interpolant @xmath49 .
this section features a systematic discussion of selection of parameters involved in the rational cubic spline fif , focusing on its applicability in a more general constrained interpolation problem .
to be precise , given a data set @xmath123 and a function @xmath124 ( piecewise linear or piecewise quadratic with joints at the knots @xmath65 ) satisfying @xmath125 , the problem is to construct a rational cubic spline fif @xmath58 such that @xmath126 for all @xmath127 .
the reader is bound to have noticed that the values of @xmath58 in the subinterval @xmath128 $ ] depends on its values on other subintervals as well .
hence , obtaining conditions for which @xmath58 lies above a piecewise defined function is relatively harder than that in the corresponding classical counterpart .
however , this can be remedied by connecting @xmath58 with its classical counterpart @xmath129 , and performing the analysis on @xmath49 rather than on @xmath58 itself .
let us commence by noting that @xmath130 where @xmath131 for brevity , we denote @xmath132 it follows that for @xmath133 , it suffices to make @xmath134 recall that on @xmath135 $ ] , @xmath136 , where with local variable @xmath103 , @xmath137 + \varphi^2 ( 1-\varphi ) [ ( r_i+2t_i ) y_{i+1}\\&&-t_ih_id_{i+1}]+\varphi^3 t_i y_{i+1},\\ s_i(x)&= & ( 1-\varphi ) r_i + \varphi t_i.\end{aligned}\ ] ] let @xmath124 be a piecewise linear function with joints at @xmath65 , @xmath18 . if @xmath138 and @xmath139 , then we have @xmath140.\ ] ] therefore @xmath141 for all @xmath127 is satisfied if @xmath142 s_i(x ) \ge 0 , ~ \text{for}~ x \in i_i , ~i \in \mathbb{n}_{n-1}.\ ] ] by using the technique of degree elevation , we assert that @xmath143 s_i(x)&= & r_i p_i ( 1-\varphi)^3 + [ r_i(p_i+p_{i+1})+p_it_i ] \varphi(1-\varphi)^2\\&&+[r_i p_{i+1}+t_i(p_i+p_{i+1 } ) ] \varphi^2(1-\phi)+ \varphi^3 t_i p_{i+1},\\ s_i(x)=(1-\varphi)r_i + \varphi t_i & = & r_i(1-\varphi)^3 + ( 2r_i+t_i)(1-\varphi)^2 \varphi+ ( r_i+2t_i)\varphi^2 ( 1-\varphi)\\&&+ \varphi^3 t_i.\end{aligned}\ ] ] in view of the aforementioned pair of equations , the condition ( [ eqnconstr1 ] ) can be recast as a problem of positivity of a cubic polynomial , namely , @xmath144\varphi(1-\varphi)^2\\&&+ \big[r_i(y_{i+1}-p_{i+1}+k)+t_i(2y_{i+1}-h_id_{i+1}-p_i - p_{i+1}+2k)\big ] \varphi^2 ( 1-\varphi)\\&&+ t_i ( y_{i+1}-p_{i+1}+k ) \varphi^3 \ge 0 , ~\text{for all}~i \in \mathbb{n}_{n-1}. \end{aligned}\ ] ] conditions for positivity ( nonnegativity ) of a cubic polynomial is well - studied in the literature ( see , for instance , @xcite ) . however , to keep our analysis simple enough , we shall impose conditions on parameters so that each coefficient of the cubic polynomial appearing in the above inequality is nonnegative . noting that @xmath145 for all @xmath18 and @xmath146
, we obtain @xmath147 the discussion we had until now is epitomized in the following theorem .
[ abovelinecon ] suppose that a data set @xmath35 , where @xmath148 and @xmath124 is a piecewise linear function with joints at knots @xmath65 is prescribed .
then a sufficient condition for the rational cubic spline fif @xmath58 to lie above @xmath124 is that the parameters satisfy the following inequalities : a. @xmath74 for @xmath15 , and @xmath149 , + b. @xmath150 , + c. @xmath151 , where @xmath152 a couple of remarks that supplement the stated theorem are in order . on similar lines ,
conditions for @xmath58 to lie below a piecewise linear function @xmath153 with joints at @xmath65 satisfying @xmath154 can be derived . by coupling these conditions with those prescribed in theorem [ abovelinecon ] , we obtain strategies for selecting the scaling factors and shape parameters so that @xmath155 for all @xmath127 . to keep the article at a reasonable length
, we avoid the computational details here .
[ exsrem ] having selected the scaling parameters according to the prescription in theorem [ abovelinecon ] , the existence of rational cubic fractal spline @xmath58 that lie above a piecewise linear function @xmath124 points naturally to the existence of positive shape parameters @xmath68 and @xmath69 satisfying the inequalities therein .
we shall hint on the existence in the following , see also @xcite .
let us rewrite the inequalities involving @xmath68 and @xmath69 ( see items ( ii)-(iii ) in theorem [ abovelinecon ] ) as follows .
@xmath156 where @xmath157 , @xmath158 , @xmath159 , @xmath160 , and @xmath161 .
if @xmath162 for all @xmath18 and the scaling factors are chosen such that @xmath163 ( that is , @xmath164 , @xmath165 ) , then a positive @xmath166 ( that is , a set of positive @xmath68 and @xmath69 ) satisfying the inequalities in ( [ exstineq ] ) exists except when @xmath167 , @xmath168 , and @xmath169 .
if we replace @xmath64 with the slopes @xmath170 , then the coefficient of @xmath68 in item ( ii ) of theorem [ abovelinecon ] reduces to @xmath171 .
hence , in view of item ( i ) , the condition in item ( ii ) is trivially satisfied .
consequently , we obtain the following conditions for the rational cubic spline fif @xmath172 ( cf .
( [ 22 ] ) ) to lie above a piecewise linear function @xmath124 .
@xmath173 next let us consider @xmath124 to be a piecewise defined quadratic polynomial with joints at @xmath65 , @xmath18 .
if @xmath138 , @xmath139 , and @xmath174 , then we have @xmath175.\ ] ] analysis similar to the case of piecewise linear @xmath124 establishes the following theorem .
[ fifabvqf ] suppose that a data set @xmath35 , where @xmath148 and @xmath124 is a piecewise quadratic function with knots at @xmath65 is given .
then a sufficient condition for the rational cubic spline fif @xmath58 to lie above @xmath124 is that the parameters satisfy the following inequalities : a. @xmath74 for @xmath15 , and @xmath149 , + b. @xmath176 , + c. @xmath177 , where @xmath152 note that if @xmath178 is very large , then admissible value for @xmath179 will be close to zero .
consequently , the fractal perturbation @xmath58 will almost " coincide with @xmath49 .
this is an unpleasant situation as far as construction of a @xmath70-continuous constrained interpolant with fractality " in its derivative is concerned , owing to the fact that larger the value of @xmath179 ( with respect to the interpolation step ) , more pronounced is the irregularity in the derivative of the smooth fractal interpolant .
furthermore , in light of remark [ exsrem ] , it can be deduced that there are some cases in which the constrained interpolation can not be solved with the rational cubic spline fif @xmath58 .
these bring us motivating influence to seek an alternative approach
. we shall now provide a quite brief deliberation of this alternative approach for the constrained interpolation .
the following is the key theorem .
[ rrafifbelthm ] let @xmath180 and @xmath181 be a partition of @xmath56 satisfying @xmath182 .
let the scaling factors be chosen such that @xmath183 and the base functions be chosen fulfilling the conditions @xmath184 , @xmath185 for @xmath186 and @xmath187 for all @xmath15 , @xmath127 .
then the corresponding fractal function @xmath188 and @xmath189 for all @xmath127 .
recall that fractal function @xmath58 corresponding to @xmath49 satisfies the functional equation @xmath190,~ x \in i.\ ] ] for @xmath74 and base functions coinciding with @xmath49 at the extremes of the interval up to the first derivative , it follows @xcite that @xmath191 . +
further , @xmath192 , i.e. , @xmath193 for all @xmath18 ( in fact , the equality ) . note that @xmath194 and @xmath58 is constructed using an iterated scheme according to .
whence , to prove @xmath195 for all @xmath127 it is enough to prove that @xmath196 holds good at the points on @xmath56 obtained at @xmath197-th iteration whenever @xmath196 is satisfied for the points on @xmath56 at @xmath198-th iteration .
the aforementioned condition is equivalent to @xmath199 for all @xmath15 whenever @xmath200 .
we may rewrite in the form @xmath201 assume that the scaling factors are chosen such that @xmath202 for all @xmath15 . by our assumption @xmath203 ,
hence an appeal to reveals that @xmath204 is satisfied whenever @xmath187 for all @xmath127 and @xmath15 , offering the proof .
the foregoing theorem demonstrates that if a constrained interpolation problem is solved with a classical rational interpolant @xmath49 , then the perturbation process can be so designed that the corresponding fractal spline @xmath58 also provides a solution to the same constrained interpolation problem .
for instance , let @xmath49 be the rational cubic spline with linear denominator lying above a piecewise linear function @xmath124 . choose @xmath183 and the base functions @xmath205 , where @xmath206 are positive functions satisfying @xmath207 , @xmath208 for @xmath15 , @xmath186 .
since positivity preserving hermite polynomial and rational spline interpolants are well - studied in the literature , it is not hard to find a family of functions @xmath209 satisfying the aforementioned conditions .
note that cubic hermite interpolants may not serve as candidates for @xmath206 , as they may reduce to zero functions owing to the imposed conditions .
the fractal function @xmath58 corresponding to @xmath49 with these choices of scaling parameters and base functions will lie above @xmath124 .
thus , by dint of a more careful choice on base functions @xmath75 , the conditions on @xmath50 can be made relatively weaker , to wit , @xmath183 for all @xmath15 .
in this section , the developed conditions on parameters are leveraged to obtain rational cubic spline fifs that lie above a prescribed piecewise linear function ( polygonal ) or quadratic function .
consider the data set @xmath210 .
note that the prescribed data set lies above the piecewise linear function @xmath124 with nodes at @xmath211 given by @xmath212 let the derivatives at knot points be @xmath213 .
suppose that , due to some reasons , perhaps for a valid physical interpretation of the underlying process , a constrained interpolant lying above the following piecewise linear function @xmath124 is required . for brevity ,
let us represent the parameters , namely , the scaling factors @xmath50 satisfying @xmath214 , and the positive shape parameters @xmath215 and @xmath216 as vectors denoted by @xmath53 , @xmath217 and @xmath218 in the four dimensional euclidean space @xmath219 .
the details of the scaling vectors and shape parameters used in the construction of constrained rational fifs are provided in table [ table : data ] for a quick reference . by selecting the scaling and shape parameters according to the conditions prescribed in theorem [ abovelinecon ] ( see table [ table : data ] ) , a rational cubic spline fif ( cf .
( [ 15 ] ) ) lying above the prescribed polygonal is generated in fig .
[ figabvl](a ) .
we construct rational cubic spline fif in fig .
[ figabvl](b ) by changing the scaling vector @xmath220 with respect to the parameters of fig .
[ figabvl](a ) . by taking the null scale vector , i.e. , @xmath221
, we retrieve the classical rational cubic spline plotted in fig .
[ figabvl](c ) .
+ with specific choices of parameters ( see table [ table : data ] ) satisfying conditions prescribed in theorem [ fifabvqf ] , we obtain constrained rational cubic fifs displayed in figs . [ figabvq](a)-(c ) lying above the quadratic spline @xmath222 defined as follows .
@xmath223 in contrast to the classical rational spline @xmath224 , the rational cubic spline fif @xmath58 has derivative @xmath225 having nondifferentiability in a finite or dense subset of the interpolation interval .
further , the irregularity may be quantified in terms of box - counting dimension , which depends mainly on the scaling vector @xmath53 .
this may find potential applications in various nonlinear and nonequilibrium phenomena wherein smooth interpolant satisfying a restraint ( for instance , positivity , or more generally lying above or below a prescribed curve ) and possessing irregularity in the derivative of suitable order is required .
+ * note : * parts of the results of this paper were presented by the third author at the international conference on applications of fractals and wavelets ( icafw-2015 ) held at amrita school of engineering , amrita vishwa vidyapeetham , coimbatore , tamilnadu , india .
p. viswanathan and a.k.b .
chand , @xmath53-fractal rational splines for constrained interpolation , electron .
41(2014)420 - 442 .
p. viswanathan and a.k.b .
chand , a @xmath228-rational cubic fractal interpolation function : convergence and associated parameter identification problem , acta appl .
136(2015)19 - 41 . | arxiv |
Candy Candy 1. Chapter 1
_**DISCLAIMER: Esta historia es sin fines de lucro, para entretenimiento, usando los personajes del anime Candy Candy propiedad de la escritora Kyōko Mizuki y la mangaka Yumiko Igarashi.**_
* * *
**_"Cuando Anthony Andley abrió los ojos y la miró con adoración, Candy White se dio cuenta de que algo había cambiado. El hombre al que había amado había perdido la memoria. Pero estaba dispuesto a aceptar sus responsabilidades... respecto a ella y a sus hijos."_**
_**"El nombre de Anthony no significaba nada para él, y su familiares eran unas personas desconocidas. Pero Candy... Tenerla en sus brazos era como volver al hogar. Cuidarla era algo natural. Al margen de lo que hubieran sido en el pasado, este Anthony quería ser un hombre mejor, un hombre dedicado a Candy y a sus hijos. Pero cuando recuperó la memoria..."**_
* * *
_ **UN ABRAZO EN LA DISTANCIA,**_
_**LIZVET**_
2. Chapter 2
**Capítulo 1**
DESPUÉS de unos minutos de furtiva búsqueda, Candy White,estaba a punto de dejarlo. Se detuvo delante de una puerta abierta para mirar a la bahía y fue cuando, por fin, lo vio. Estaba de pie, al lado del muro de piedra que bordeaba la terraza del club de campo de Lakewood, de cara al mar.
Era la oportunidad perfecta, estaba solo. Era el momento de plantarle cara, darle la noticia y luego desaparecer de Chicago, para siempre. En ese caso, ¿por qué no parecía capaz de moverse?
Hacía cuatro meses que no lo veía. Cuatro meses, dos semanas y tres días. Él seguía increíblemente guapo, delgado y, a la vez, con anchas espaldas y cuerpo musculoso bajo el esmoquin que llevaba como padrino de la boda de su hermano mayor. Sus cabellos eran dorados como el sol, ligeramente ondulados y peinados ha cia atrás. Sus pestañas eran largas y sus ojos azul profundo ; la nariz y la barbilla perfectamente delineadas y absolutamente varoniles. De pie como estaba, pensativo y quieto, parecía un aristócrata.
Era abogado.
Candy se miró el vestido azul y, de repente, se arrepintió de no llevar una chaqueta para taparse, a pesar del calor de aquel día de julio. Demasiado tarde, ya estaba avanzando hacia él. Sintió su mirada antes de alzar el rostro y mirarlo a los ojos. Contuvo la respiración. Sabía que él le atraía físicamente; pero había supuesto que, después de lo que él le había hecho, de lo que sabía de ese hombre, el efecto sería mínimo. ¡Ja!
Fue como si un millón de cables invisibles cobraran vida. En aquella mirada volvió a sentir su piel, a saborear sus labios, su deseo.
Candy se dijo a sí misma que era un maniquí, no un hombre. Que era egoísta y, si ella se lo permitía, volvería a hacerla daño sin siquiera darse cuenta de ello.
El le sonrió como si fuera la primera vez que se hubieran visto, como si el pasado no existiera. Por mal que se hubiera portado con ella, esa sonrisa era prácticamente imposible de resistir.
Candy respiró profundamente... y resistió. Él pareció sorprendido. Bien, en unos momentos su sorpresa se transformaría en susto. Candy continuó avanzando hacia él.
—Hola —dijo él con una voz profunda que volvió a hacerla temblar.
—Tengo que hablar contigo —dijo Candy.
A pesar de la brusquedad de ella, los hermosos labios de él continuaron sonriendo. Apoyado contra el muro de piedra, con los brazos cruzados a la altura del pecho y los ojos llenos de vida, él dijo:
—Sí, por supuesto.
Candy se quedó mirando la rosa blanca que él llevaba prendida a la solapa de la chaqueta.
—Lo que voy a decir me resulta bastante difícil —dijo ella.
El frunció el ceño, como si no comprendiera.
—¿Te acuerdas del marzo pasado? —murmuró Candy.
—¿El marzo pasado? Mmmm. No sé, déjame que piense...
El brillo de sus ojos le dijo a Candy todo lo que necesitaba saber. Se estaba burlando de ella.
—Por favor, escúchame. Deja que te diga lo que he venido a decirte.
Él asintió.
—Adelante.
—Yo... estoy embarazada.
¡Por fin! Por fin lo había dicho. Candy se atrevió a mirarlo a la cara, esperando ver ira tras sus palabras; pero no fue eso lo que vio.
—Felicidades.
—¡Qué!
El sacudió la cabeza ligeramente.
—He dicho que felicidades. ¿No es eso lo que se suele decir? Estás... radiante.
—¿Felicidades? —repitió ella con incredulidad.
—Sí.
—¿No... estás enfadado?
—Quizá desilusionado, pero no enfadado. ¿Por qué iba a estarlo? ¿Debería estarlo?
—Bueno... no. Quiero decir que... pensé que quizá te disgustara. Me dijiste que no querías tener hijos —un inmenso alivio la embargó, y no se dio cuenta de la perplejidad de aquella mirada—. Creía que ibas a pensar que me he quedado embarazada a propósito. Pero te aseguro que no es así, que fue un desliz. Pero ahora que ha ocurrido, ahora que ya me he hecho a la idea de que voy a tener un hijo y que lo siento en mi vientre... bueno, estoy encantada de estar embarazada. Estoy...
—Yo...
—No, déjame terminar —Candy se mordió los labios, intentando olvidar el pasado—. Fuera lo que fuese lo que hubo entre los dos, acabó la noche que descubrí que tu proposición matrimonial fue solo una broma por tu parte. No he venido a hablar de las otras mujeres, no he venido a acusarte de nada. Eso es el pasado y ya no importa, lo nuestro acabó. Tampoco he venido para pedirte que te cases conmigo, no lo haría aunque me lo volvieras a pedir y, esta vez, fuera en serio.
Candy se interrumpió para respirar al tiempo que se preguntaba si era verdad lo último que había dicho, con la esperanza de que lo fuera. Llevaba meses tratando de convencerse a sí misma de que la atracción que sentía por él no era excesiva; sin embargo, ahora que lo tenía delante, la sintió más fuerte que nunca. Pero no debía perder el sentido común, no debía sucumbir a la tentación. Tenía que pensar en su hijo también.
—Mi padre me dejó algo de dinero —continuó Candy antes de que él pudiera interrumpirla—. SÍ tengo cuidado, el niño y yo podemos vivir con ese dinero durante dos años. Voy a volver a Springfield, así que mis tíos podrán ayudarme. Ayer, cuando vi a tu madre, me di cuenta de que no podía marcharme sin decirte esto, Anthony.
Candy respiró profundamente, las manos le temblaban.
Por fin, él pareció entender, y Candy se preguntó qué parte de lo que había dicho había logrado afectarlo. En realidad, teniendo en cuenta la personalidad de Anthony, le parecía un milagro que siguiera ahí de pie escuchándola.
—¿Has acabado?
—Bueno... sí. Sí, he acabado.
El la miró a los ojos y dijo:
—Entiendo lo difícil que ha debido resultarte contarme todo esto. Pero lo siento, yo no soy Anthony.
Candy se quedó inmóvil mientras lo miraba con incredulidad. Por fin, lo comprendió, cuando recordó anécdotas de la señora Andley sobre los gemelos. Candy no conocía a uno de ellos, al hermano de Anthony, el abogado que trabajaba en California.
—Oh, Dios mío, tú debes ser Albert.
Él le tocó un brazo.
—Si te sirve de consuelo, estoy encantado de que vayas a hacerme tío.
—¡No puedo creerlo, le he contado todo esto a otro hombre!
Él asintió. Durante un momento, Candy se preguntó si Anthony no le estaría gastando una broma. Sin embargo, a la vista de la reacción de aquel hombre, se daba cuenta de que, aunque físicamente fuera igual que Anthony, su actitud era completamente diferente.
En ese caso, ¿cómo se explicaban las intensas vibraciones sexuales que ella había notado? ¿Lo había sentido él también o había sido producto de su imaginación?
—¿Cómo te llamas? —le preguntó Albert con voz suave.
—Candice. Candice White.
Albert le ofreció la mano para estrechársela a modo de una presentación formal. La situación era tan absurda que a Candy le dieron ganas de salir corriendo.
Después de darse la mano, él dijo:
—Siento mucho no ser Anthony. Eres preciosa.
Candy se frotó las sientes con dedos temblorosos.
—No comprendo cómo puede haber alguien que sienta no ser Anthony —contestó ella.
Él, sorprendido, parpadeó.
—Supongo que... debiste sentir algo por él... Perdona, me refería a que, como estás embarazada...
—Sí, sé lo que has querido decir —lo interrumpió Candy. Le habría gustado añadir que solo había es tado con Anthony una vez, pero no quería que pareciese que se estaba disculpando a sí misma—. Perdona por haber hablado así de él, sé que es tu hermano, y tu hermano gemelo.
Albert le lanzó una mirada penetrante.
—Me temo que hay pocas cosas que puedas decir de mi hermano que yo no sepa —dijo Albert por fin.
Candy asintió nerviosa.
—Dios mío, voy a tener que repetir todo lo que he dicho.
Levantando los ojos, Albert añadió:
—Y muy pronto.
Candy volvió la cabeza y vio al hombre con quien tenía que hablar, el hermano de Albert, Anthony.
Anthony, el padre de su hijo. Anthony, con la misma sonrisa que su hermano, los mismos ojos, el mismo cabello y los mismos rasgos.
—Vaya, vaya, vaya —dijo Anthony con voz ligeramente ebria—. Candy, ¿qué estás haciendo aquí? No sabía que conocieras a Albert.
Juntos, el parecido entre los dos hermanos era increíble, incluidos el corte de pelo y la voz. Lo único que les diferenciaba era el anillo de la fraternidad que llevaba cada uno y las rosas de la solapa, la de Albert era blanca y la de Anthony era roja.
Ambos hermanos se miraron con hostilidad, insinuando una larga historia de enfrentamientos que explicaba por qué Anthony casi nunca hablaba de su hermano.
—Acabamos de conocernos —contestó Candy. Anthony sonrió maliciosamente.
—Pues parecéis entenderos muy bien.
—Déjala tranquila —le dijo Albert a su hermano.
—He venido a verte —dijo Candy a Anthony.
Anthony se desprendió la rosa roja de la solapa y la acercó a la mejilla de Candy.
—Vaya, Candy, veo que has entrado en razón.
Ella empequeñeció los ojos y apartó la rosa de un manotazo.
—¿Que he entrado en razón?
—Sí, sobre el pequeño malentendido de marzo.
—Ah, ya. Te refieres al «malentendido» que hubo entre los dos cuando me pediste que me casara contigo y, a la semana, ya te estabas acostando con otra.
—¿Es así cómo lo recuerdas?
—Eso es exactamente lo que pasó —respondió ella.
—Pues yo no recuerdo que pasara así —repuso él—. Me parece que eras tú la que no podías despegarte de mí; aunque, te aseguro, que no me molestó.
Albert cerró un puño, que Candy le agarró para evitar más problemas.
—Por favor, déjalo —le dijo Candy a Albert cuando éste la miró.
Mientras Albert abría el puño, Anthony agarró una copa de champán de la bandeja de un camarero que pasaba por allí y la levantó para hacer un brindis.
—Por ti, Candy. Por el marzo pasado y por los marzos del futuro.
Albert y Candy se miraron. Los ojos de Albert parecían decir: «vamos, ahí está tu oportunidad de decírselo. Adelante».
Era una crueldad tener que hacer semejante confesión dos veces en cuestión de minutos. Por fin, alzó la cabeza y, mirando a Anthony a los ojos, dijo:
—Tengo que hablar contigo.
Anthony vació la copa que tenía en la mano y llamó al camarero:
—Eh, aquí. Deja la bandeja.
—Señor...
—¡He dicho que dejes la bandeja! —le espetó Anthony. Cuando el camarero se alejó ya sin su bandeja, Candy respiró profundamente y anunció:
—Anthony, estoy embarazada y tú eres el padre.
Se hizo un profundo silencio en el que resaltó la expresión de perplejidad de Anthony. Por fin, dejó caer al suelo la copa que tenía en una mano.
—Es una broma, ¿verdad? —dijo Anthony.
—No, no es una broma —contestó Albert.
—¡Tú no te metas en esto! —le espetó Anthony a su hermano.
—Pues cálmate.
—No, no es una broma —corroboró Candy.
Anthony se la quedó mirando, sacudiendo la cabeza, sin habla. Candy sintió no haber encontrado una mejor forma de darle la noticia.
Despacio, con calma, Candy repitió lo que ya le había dicho a Albert, haciendo énfasis en que su intención no era obligarle a casarse con ella.
—Me pareció que tenía que decírtelo con el fin de que puedas decidir si quieres formar parte en la vida de tu hijo o no —concluyó ella—. Además, tendrás que decirles a tus padres que van a ser abuelos.
—Yo no tengo obligación de hacer nada —contestó Anthony con firmeza, con mirada fría y calculadora—. Sé lo que estás tramando: estás intentando utilizar a mi familia para atraparme. Pero te lo advierto, no te vas a salir con la tuya.
Albert dio un paso hacia delante.
—Anthony, escúchala.
Anthony apartó el brazo de su hermano de un manotazo; después, agarró otra copa de champán de la bandeja y bebió. Candy quiso decirle que el alcohol no iba a ayudarlo; pero, de repente, sintió una urgente necesidad de marcharse de allí.
—Que quieras o no formar parte de la vida de tu hijo, Anthony, es asunto tuyo; sin embargo, no puedo creer que quieras evitar que tus padres se enteren de que van a ser abuelos. Díselo.
Entonces, tras una mirada de disculpa a Albert, Candy se alejó de los gemelos Andley.
En el servicio, Candy no pudo contener las lágrimas. Lloró durante cinco minutos y después vomitó el almuerzo. Cuando por fin se lavó la cara y la boca, había pasado casi media hora. Lo único que quería en ese momento era marcharse de allí sin encontrarse con Pauna y William Andley, los padres de Anthony. Con un poco de suerte, no se enterarían de que había estado allí.
Hacía tiempo que había decidido no mencionarles al Anthony que ella conocía. A veces, se preguntaba cómo era posible que, siendo sus padres, no se hubieran dado cuenta de lo manipulador que era. Delante de ellos, Candy se había responsabilizado de la ruptura de su relación con Anthony, ocultándoles que se había acostado con Anthony después de que éste le hiciera una falsa proposición matrimonial para, unos días después, acostarse con otra mujer.
Ya era demasiado tarde para aclarar la situación. Además, William Andley estaba delicado del corazón, y Candy jamás haría nada que pudiera empeorar su condición. Quería mucho a Pauna y a Will.
Candy estaba abriendo la puerta de su coche cuando unas voces, a la entrada del edificio, llamaron su atención.
—Anthony, no digas tonterías. No puedes conducir en ese estado —dijo Albert tratando de impedir que su hermano se metiera en su coche deportivo rojo.
—¡Métete en tus asuntos! —le espetó Anthony.
—No has cambiado nada, ¿verdad? Sigues siendo igual que eras cuando estábamos en la universidad.
Anthony alzó un puño.
—¿Quieres que te lo meta en la boca?
—No son el momento ni el lugar apropiados para esto —contestó Albert—. Vamos, ten un poco de consideración, es la boda de Terrence.
Anthony dio un empujón a su hermano y Albert se tambaleó.
—¿Qué te pasa, me tienes miedo? —dijo Anthony en tono desafiante.
Albert, ya harto, se quitó la chaqueta y la tiró al césped. Anthony hizo lo mismo. Cuando los dos, enfrentándose, se miraron, Candy murmuró una disculpa al niño que llevaba en el vientre.
Pero antes de llegar a los golpes, Anthony, con su acostumbrada agilidad, dio un salto, volvió a su coche y se sentó al volante. Albert corrió hacia el coche, abrió la puerta y se sentó en el asiento contiguo al del conductor con la intención de convencer a su hermano de que no condujera. El motor se puso en marcha y el coche salió disparado.
El auto pasó por delante de Candy, que no podía dar crédito a lo que estaba viendo. Ninguno de los dos hermanos pareció verla, pero ella jamás olvidaría aquella escena.
* * *
Candy pasó la noche en un saco de dormir en el sofá. Era su última noche en el apartamento que había alquilado amueblado y en el que había vivido los últimos tres años. Por la mañana, cuando la luz del sol entró por el ventanal, Candy miró a su alrededor. La estancia parecía vacía y solitaria sin sus pertenencias personales, que casi todas estaban ya en el coche. Lo único que le quedaba por hacer era doblar el saco de dormir y meter unas cuantas cosas en la maleta.
Continuó tumbada, sin ganas de emprender el largo viaje a Springfield. No había vuelto desde hacía un año, desde el funeral de su padre. Pero ahora que ya tenía el título de maestra, le parecía lo más natural del mundo volver a la vieja casa de su padre y tener a su hijo en compañía de sus tíos preferidos. No era así como había soñado empezar una familia, pero estaba decidida a ver el lado positivo de la situación.
Durante unos instantes, Candy pensó en Albert y en la intensa reacción física que ese hombre había provocado en ella. Lo mismo le ocurrió con Anthony unos meses atrás. Lo conoció cuando necesitó el consejo de un abogado tras la muerte de su padre; después, se enteró de que Anthony era demasiado importante para ocuparse de un caso menor como el suyo, pero le recomendó uno de sus compañeros de trabajo. Candy llegó a pensar que el destino los había unido.
Al principio, Anthony fue amable y cariñoso con ella, y a Candy le llevó demasiado tiempo darse cuenta de que el comportamiento de él era sumamente egoísta.
¿Era Albert igual que Anthony? ¿Se mostraba irresistible al principio para luego mostrarse como era, un egoísta?
¿Tenía importancia? En un par de días, Candy iba a estar muy lejos de allí.
Mientras se abrochaba los pantalones, sonó el teléfono.
—Gracias a Dios que estás en casa —dijo Pauna Andley con voz ronca y emocionada.
Candy se pasó una mano por el cabello rubio y liso, apartándoselo de la cara. A pesar del cariño que le tenía a Pauna, no le apetecía hablar con ella en esos momentos.
—Lo siento, pero... voy a marcharme...
—Tienes que venir, Candy. Tienes que venir.
Candy sintió una súbita alarma.
—¿Ir adonde, Pauna? ¿Qué pasa?
—Estamos en el hospital.
Al principio, Candy pensó que se trataba del padre de Anthony.
—¿Le ha ocurrido algo a Will? ¿Es el corazón?
—No —contestó Pauna con un sollozo—. Oh, Candy, se trata de Anthony. Ha sufrido un accidente en el coche... Por favor, ven.
—¿Anthony? —murmuró Candy.
—Ayer, durante el banquete de bodas, te vi hablando con él. Sé que estabais intentando solucionar vuestros desacuerdos otra vez.
—Bueno, Pauna, la verdad es que...
Pero Pauna, tragando un sollozo, la interrumpió.
—Terry está en viaje de luna de miel, y Will está tan mal que me tiene muy asustada. No sé a quién acudir...
—¿Dónde está Albert? —preguntó Candy automática mente.
—Oh, Candy, eso es lo peor... Anthony y Albert se marcharon juntos de la fiesta. Anthony iba conduciendo y tu vieron un accidente. El coche se cayó por un terraplén y tardaron horas en encontrarlos; cuando los encontraron, no sabían quiénes eran porque ninguno de los dos llevaba identificación. Los llevaron a una pequeña clínica y allí, por la matrícula del coche, acabaron identificando al dueño, a Anthony. Anthony está inconsciente, pero su hermano, nuestro Albert... Oh, Dios mío, Candy, Albert está muerto.
Candy se quedó inmóvil. Después, un profundo dolor le atravesó el corazón. Anthony estaba malherido. Albert estaba muerto._"¡Albert!"_
—Ahora mismo voy —susurró Candy.
—Estamos en el hospital del Buen Samaritano, en la unidad de cuidados intensivos. Date prisa.
—Enseguida estaré allí.
**CONTINUARÁ...**
* * *
COMENZAMOS UNA NUEVA HISTORIA, OJALA LES GUSTE..
UN ABRAZO EN LA DISTANCIA
LIZVET
3. Chapter 3
**Capítulo 2**
EL PASILLO del hospital era estrecho y largo. Candy se detuvo delante del mostrador de in formación para preguntar dónde estaba la uni dad de cuidados intensivos; pero antes de formular la pregunta, vio a William Andley apoyado contra una pared al fondo del pasillo y se dirigió hacia él.
Will levantó la cabeza cuando ella estaba a unos siete metros de él. Candy se paró momentáneamente al ver el cambio en el aspecto físico de él; le había visto tres semanas atrás al encontrarse accidentalmente con Will en la tienda de comestibles.
Will era tan alto como sus hijos, pero ahora estaba encorvado y su piel, siempre pálida, parecía de cera. El se la quedó mirando con esos ojos azul oscuro que sus hijos habían heredado de él, unos ojos que podían ser como los del bebé que ella llevaba en el vientre. Ahora, esos ojos estaban cegados por las lá grimas.
Candy le tomó las manos en las suyas y se miraron en silencio, sin hablar. El sufrimiento de Will era tan gible. A Candy le daba miedo preguntar por Anthony; por fin, tras una larga pausa, susurró:
—Siento mucho lo de Albert.
Él asintió mientras las lágrimas le resbalaban por las mejillas.
Candy lloró con él.
Pauna salió por unas puertas de cristal opaco, que cerró cuidadosamente. Cuando vio a Candy, perdió la compostura.
—¡Sabía que vendrías! —gimió Pauna abrazando a Candy .
— Anthony... ¿está...? —murmuró Candy.
Pauna rompió el abrazo y, con ojos enrojecidos por el llanto, miró a Candy. Sus oscuros cabellos salpica dos de canas estaban despeinados y la boca le tembló al murmurar:
—Todavía está en coma.
—Ya verás como se pone bien —dijo Candy. Pauna se mordió los labios.
—La doctora ha dicho que se recuperará, pero no sabe cuándo. Vas a quedarte aquí con él, ¿verdad? Ya se lo he dicho a las enfermeras, les he dicho que su no via es de la familia. Sé que tenerte a su lado le va a ayudar enormemente.
—Ya no estamos prometidos —dijo Candy con todo el cariño que pudo.
—Ya sé que solo estuvisteis prometidos unos días y que luego rompisteis —dijo Pauna—, pero también sé que estabais tratando de volver juntos otra vez.
Candy se preguntó si no debía confesarles la ver dad; pero en ese momento, Pauna abrió la mano y le en señó la rosa roja que, el día anterior, Anthony le pasara por la mejilla.
—La han encontrado en el bolsillo de Anthony —dijo Pauna con los ojos llenos de lágrimas—. Oh, Dios mío, no sé qué haríamos si lo perdiéramos a él también.
Mientras Will reconfortaba a su esposa, Candy se quedó mirando la maltrecha flor que, en cierto sentido, parecía un cómplice en aquella tragedia. Todo podría haber sido diferente si ella hubiera esperado a que Anthony estuviera sobrio para anunciarle que iba a ser pa dre.
Ahora, Candy sabía que haría lo que Pauna y Will le pidieran hasta que Anthony saliera del estado de coma. Pero su corazón también lloraba la muerte de Albert. _"Albert porqué no te conocí antes, parecías ser tan diferente a Anthony… "_
* * *
Él abrió los ojos despacio y sintió los labios secos. Se llevó una mano temblorosa al lado izquierdo del rostro. ¿Un vendaje?
«¿Dónde estoy?».
La habitación era blanca, escasamente amueblada, limpia... una habitación de hospital. Suero en el brazo. Las persianas estaban abiertas y el cielo gris. Sintió dolor en las sienes.
Se había despertado antes, pero brevemente. Medio despierto, medio hombre.
Sintió un sudor frío y lanzó un gruñido.
Unas manos frías le tocaron el brazo y, al mirar, vio a una mujer con ojos tan verdes como esmeraldas.
—No te preocupes, Anthony, vas a ponerte bien —le dijo ella con voz suave.
Él se pasó la lengua por los labios.
—¿Quieres beber algo?
Él consiguió asentir. Ella le sujetó la cabeza mien tras le daba agua. Había visto antes a esa mujer, la pri mera vez que se despertó, y ella estaba dormida en un sillón al lado de la cama. De repente, se dio cuenta de que ella debía conocerlo, por lo que él debería recono cerla también.
Pero no era así. No la había visto nunca. Nunca.
Era una mujer bastante bonita. Tenía la piel suave, ojos enormes, y nariz y boca delicadas; cabellos rubios como la miel, bastante revueltos. Llevaba una camisa azul marino bastante amplia y con las mangas subidas hasta los codos; era una camisa de hombre, pero no conseguía ocultar su feminidad. Él estaba convencido de que no era una enfermera, igual que sabía que no era la clase de mujer que él podía olvidar.
—Voy a avisar a tus padres —dijo ella. Sus padres. De repente, él sintió pánico. No recor daba a sus padres.
Ella frunció el ceño y se mordió los labios.
—No te preocupes, Anthony, no volveré si no quieres... ahora que sé que estás bien. Él le agarró la mano.
—No, quédate.
Tras unos momentos de vacilación, ella asintió. Cuando él cerró los párpados, se concentró en el calor de aquella mano y pronto empezó a perder la consciencia de nuevo.
¿Quién era Anthony?
Candy se quedó de pie, agarrada a la mano de Anthony. Por lo que ella sabía, era la primera vez que Anthony había abierto los ojos en las tres largas semanas que ha bía pasado en coma. Deseó salir corriendo para avisar a la doctora y darles la buena noticia a Will y a Pauna.
Pero no se movió. Anthony le había pedido que se quedara. Tampoco pudo soltarse de su mano. Con el pie, agarró la pata de la silla y la corrió hacia la cama para sentarse.
Aquello era una locura. Debía avisar a la doctora y a los padres de Anthony. Y también tenía que prepararse para cuando Anthony recobrara completamente la consciencia y se diera cuenta de que no la quería allí con él.
Sin embargo, permaneció donde estaba. Llevaba tres semanas sentada al lado de aquella cama de hospi tal, y durante ese tiempo no había cesado de decirse a sí misma que desaparecería de allí tan pronto como Anthony abriera los ojos, que quería ir a su casa Springfield fin de prepararse para el nacimiento de su hijo, y que estaba ahí solo para ayudar a los padres de Anthony.
Pero ahora se daba cuenta de que eso no era del todo verdad. También estaba allí por sí misma, por sí misma y por su hijo. La noche anterior, con la espe ranza de darles a Pauna y a Will una nueva ilusión para aliviar su sufrimiento, les confesó que llevaba en su vientre al hijo de Anthony. La noticia había sido recibida con júbilo.
¿Había hecho bien en decírselo? ¿Debería haberlo mantenido en secreto? ¿Se lo había dicho porque tenía miedo de que Anthony nunca saliera del coma? Y ahora que lo peor parecía haber pasado y había llegado la hora de marcharse, ¿les daría otro motivo de sufrimiento?
En fin, Anthony se enteraría pronto de lo que ella ha bía hecho y se sentiría acorralado.
No obstante, Candy continuó con la mano de Anthony en la suya. Había amado a ese hombre y él le había pedido que se quedara. ¿Por qué?
La puerta chirrió y, cuando Candy volvió la ca beza, vio a un desconocido. Era un hombre alto de unos cuarenta y tantos años, de cabello encanecido y penetrante mirada oscura. Era delgado, llevaba un traje gris marengo y zapatos negros. La sonrisa que lanzó a Candy fue forzada y nada amistosa.
—¿Se le ofrece algo? —preguntó Candy, pensando que el hombre debía haberse equivocado de habita ción.
—Estoy buscando a Anthony Andley —respondió el hombre con voz áspera al tiempo que señalaba a Anthony —. ¿Es él?
Inesperadamente, Candy sintió un súbito paternalismo.
—¿Le importaría decirme quién es usted?
El hombre se abrió la chaqueta y le mostró una placa metálica.
—Detective Hill del Departamento de Policía de Seaport.
— Anthony ha estado en coma tres semanas —dijo Candy, decidiendo en ese momento no confesar que había abierto los ojos hacía cinco minutos—. Evidentemente, no puede hablar con usted ni con nadie.
—Estoy investigando la muerte de Albert Andley —dijo el detective implacablemente—. Necesito hablar con él.
Un súbito miedo se agarró al estómago de Candy. Sobresaltada, se dio cuenta de que había esperado que ocurriera algo así. Desde el accidente, había temido que, en algún momento, la policía interviniera. Era de esperar que hubieran hecho análisis de sangre a ambos hermanos cuando los llevaron a la clínica; por lo tanto, debían saber que Anthony estaba conduciendo ebrio cuando tuvieron el accidente.
—Lo avisaremos cuando salga del coma —dijo Candy con voz temblorosa. ¿Por qué no se marchaba ese policía?—. Si no me cree, hable con los médicos. Com probará que Anthony no está en condiciones de hablar con nadie.
—Ya he hablado con los médicos —dijo el policía—. Quería comprobarlo por mí mismo.
—Pues ya lo ha comprobado —respondió Candy, re zando por que Anthony no abriera los ojos. El detective la miró incisivamente.
—¿Y usted quién es?
—Me llamo Candy White y soy... la novia de Anthony.
El detective asintió, dando motivos para pensar que ya había oído ese nombre.
—¿No querrá decir la ex novia?
—¿Quién le ha dicho eso?
El policía, mirando el rostro impasible de Anthony, contestó:
—He hablado con algunos de sus amigos.
—Hemos solucionado nuestros problemas y estamos juntos otra vez. Supongo que sus amigos no lo saben aún.
—No, supongo que no. Bien, señorita White, ¿sabía que su novio estaba bebido cuando condujo el coche, con su hermano al lado, la noche del accidente?
Candy se mordió los labios y guardó silencio.
—Lo sabe todo el mundo —añadió el policía.
Candy enderezó los hombros. El desagrado que le había producido ese hombre al principio se hizo más profundo.
—Si insiste en hablar, a pesar de lo que le he dicho, le sugiero que salgamos al pasillo.
—¿Por qué? ¿No está en coma? No puede oírnos.
—¿Cómo sabe usted si puede oírnos o no? —le espetó ella—. El hecho de que esté en coma no quiere decir que no se entere de lo que pasa a su alrededor. Nume rosos estudios han demostrado que...
Hill la interrumpió.
—No es con usted con quien quiero hablar, sino con él.
Ella guardó silencio.
—Está bien, volveré dentro de un par de días —dijo el policía en tono de advertencia.
Candy volvió a sentarse cuando el detective Hill se hubo marchado y miró a Anthony.
¿Qué le pasaría cuando se enterara de que era res ponsable de la muerte de su hermano y de que la poli cía quería hablar con él? El sentimiento de culpa sería horrible, ya que Candy creía firmemente que debajo del egoísmo superficial de Anthony había una persona decente que quería salir a la luz. Pero si lo condena ban...
En fin, ese no era problema suyo, Anthony no querría que se involucrase en sus asuntos. Sin embargo, al verlo tan vulnerable, le resultaba difícil no sentirse in volucrada. Además, había que pensar en Will y Pauna, que habían perdido a Albert por la irresponsabilidad de Anthony. ¿Qué sería de ellos si Anthony acababa en la cár cel?
En ese momento, la puerta de la habitación se abrió . Will y Pauna aparecieron.
—Gracias a Dios que estáis aquí —dijo Candy con gran alivio.
Pauna cruzó la habitación rápidamente y le dio a Candy una palmada en el brazo.
—¿Cómo se siente nuestra futura madre?
—Bien, me encuentro bien.
Candy decidió no comentarles la visita de la poli cía, pero sí les dio la buena noticia.
—Se ha despertado —anunció Candy mirándoles a los rostros.
Los dos le devolvieron la mirada como si no hubie ran entendido lo que les había dicho.
— Anthony ha abierto los ojos —añadió Candy—. ¡Me ha hablado!
Pauna juntó las manos y lanzó un quedo grito.
—¿Qué ha dicho? —preguntó Will.
—No mucho. Parecía... confuso. Solo se ha desper tado durante uno o dos minutos.
—¿Lo saben los médicos?
—No he tenido ocasión de decírselo aún.
Will asintió brevemente y salió de la habitación para hablar con los médicos. Pauna rodeó la cama donde estaba su hijo para colocarse al otro lado; enton ces, bajó la cabeza y lo besó en la frente.
Candy se miró las manos. Había llegado el mo mento de marcharse. Sin embargo, a pesar de que ha bía pensado mucho en ello, aún no sabía cómo dar la noticia.
En ese momento, Will entró en la habitación con la doctora O'Brien. Era una mujer de mediana edad con cabello corto gris y ojos tiernos. Unas gafas colgaban de una cadena y descansaban en su amplio pecho. Candy la había visto en numerosas ocasiones y le te nía aprecio.
—¿Que se ha recuperado la consciencia? —preguntó la doctora ocupando la silla que Candy dejó libre.
—Sí. Y ha bebido un sorbo de agua.
La doctora O' Brien examinó los ojos de Anthony con una pequeña linterna y pronunció su nombre con voz suave. A Candy le sorprendió verle abrir los ojos.
La doctora miró a Will y a Pauna, y sonrió. Después, volvió a mirar a Anthony, que la observaba con expresión confusa.
—¿Cómo te encuentras, Anthony?
Él se humedeció los labios con la lengua.
—Me duele la cabeza —murmuró Anthony por fin.
—Es normal, has sufrido una contusión. Pero te re cuperarás —la doctora se incorporó y retrocedió unos pasos—. Tienes visita.
Pauna, todo sonrisas, dijo:
—Hola, cariño.
La expresión confusa de Anthony se hizo más pronun ciada. Despacio, miró a su madre y luego a su padre, que sonreía también; después, clavó los ojos en Candy. Cuando la vio, dijo:
—Tú...
Candy lo interpretó como una acusación. Dio un paso atrás, hacia la puerta. Había sabido que ocurriría, pero ahora se sentía humillada y fuera de lugar.
Anthony le sonrió. Era la sonrisa que, al principio, ha bía atraído a Candy; una sonrisa que encendía sus ojos e iluminaba la habitación. Una sonrisa que la hizo de tenerse.
—Yo... te conozco.
—Naturalmente...
—Estabas aquí antes.
—Sí.
Anthony asintió. Después, volvió a mirar a Pauna y luego a Will.
—A vosotros no os conozco —dijo Anthony. Will lanzó una queda carcajada.
—Siempre bromeando, así es mi hijo. Pero Pauna se acercó a Anthony y lo miró a los ojos. Después, volvió la cabeza y le dijo a su marido:
—Me parece que Anthony no está bromeando.
—Estos son tus padres —dijo la doctora—. ¿No los co noces?
Anthony volvió a humedecerse los labios antes de contestar.
—A la chica la he visto antes, cuando me desperté; pero a los demás no los he visto nunca.
Pauna se llevó una mano a la boca para ahogar un gemido.
—¿Sabes dónde estás? —le preguntó la doctora. Él se la quedó mirando. Candy notó que estaba tra tando de recordar.
—Todos me llamáis Anthony, pero ese nombre no sig nifica nada para mí.
Will estaba blanco como la cera. Por fin, dijo:
—Hijo, ¿no sabes quién soy?
Anthony, compungido, murmuró:
—No. Lo siento, pero no.
Anthony hizo un esfuerzo por incorporarse, la doctora le subió las almohadas.
—¿Te acuerdas del accidente de coche?
De nuevo, Anthony pareció hacer un esfuerzo por re cordar.
—No, doctora, no recuerdo nada. No me acuerdo ab solutamente de nada.
—Cálmate, no es extraño que una conmoción provo que una amnesia temporal —dijo la doctora.
—Amnesia —murmuró Will.
Pauna, con las manos en el pecho, preguntó:
—¿No te acuerdas del accidente, Anthony? ¿De nada?
La doctora lanzó a Pauna una mirada de advertencia. Pauna miró a Candy con una expresión que parecía de cir: «¡No se acuerda tampoco de su hermano! ¿Qué va mos a hacer ahora?».
Candy trató de mostrarse positiva.
—¿Temporal, amnesia temporal?
—Sí, casi seguro —respondió la doctora—. Lo más probable es que recupere la memoria en uno o dos días. Y, por favor, ahora no le hablen de los detalles del accidente.
En otras palabras, pensó Candy, Anthony no debía enterarse de que había causado la muerte de su her mano por conducir ebrio.
Pauna parpadeó en un esfuerzo por contener las lá grimas.
—¿Así que cree que dentro de un par de días sabrá quiénes somos? ¿Que volvería a ser el de siempre? La doctora asintió.
—Entre tanto, voy a decirle al doctor Martin que venga a verte —dijo la doctora dando una palmada en la rodi lla de Anthony —, Es psicólogo, ya verás como te cae bien.
Anthony asintió. Después, miró a Candy y esta se dio cuenta de que, para Anthony, ella era la única persona que le resultaba familiar.
Con gesto vacilante, ella le sonrió.
CONTINUARÁ...
* * *
**HOLA! HOLA! ESPERO QUE ESTÉN DISFRUTANDO DE UN HERMOSO FIN DE SEMANA. GRACIAS POR ACOMPAÑARME EN ESTA NUEVA HISTORIA.**
**SALUDOS A:**
**PATTY CASTILLO, PATTY A.,SAYURI,SARAH LISA, LAILA**
**NOEMI CULLEN, NADIA M. ANDREW,LADY SUSI, ALEJANDRA.**
* * *
**UN ABRAZO EN LA DISTANCIA**
**LIZVET.**
4. Chapter 4
_**Capítulo 3**_
CON PIERNAS aún temblorosas, Anthony atravesó la habitación y se miró al espejo que había en cima del lavabo buscando en la imagen algo que le resultara familiar. Nada.
Se pasó una mano por el cabello y examinó sus fac ciones. Nariz recta, ojos azules, barbilla. Abrió la boca y vio unos dientes blancos y, al parecer, sin em pastes. Necesitaba afeitarse.
Retrocedió un paso y se miró la cara en conjunto. Lo extraño era que, a pesar del vendaje en la mejilla izquierda y su apariencia general de desaliño, sabía que su aspecto debía ser así. El problema era que no conseguía identificarse con un nombre... ni con un pasado.
— Anthony. Anthony Todd Andley. Anthony Andley —dijo en voz alta.
Había oído ese nombre numerosas veces durante las últimas horas. Sus padres le habían llamado Anthony, y también la hermosa mujer que había visto sentada al lado de la cama. El nombre empezaba a resultarle familiar.
—Me llamo Anthony.
Pero... ¿quién era? No sabía qué comida le gustaba, ni qué música, ni si tenía perro o peces. Tampoco sabía exactamente dónde estaba, solo que el cielo estaba en capotado y que todo el mundo hablaba en inglés. En ese caso, ¿cómo se explicaba que sabía que estaba en Estados Unidos, que era verano, a juzgar por el verdor de las plantas, y que estaba cerca de la costa, cosa que le indicaban las gaviotas, pero no podía reconocerse a sí mismo ni a sus seres queridos?
Evidentemente, había llegado el momento de hacer preguntas y exigir respuestas.
Al pensar en la gente que había visto hasta el momento, decidió que la persona a interrogar era Candy. Sus padres, y el hecho de no poderlos reconocer le tenía perplejo, parecían demasiado frágiles; por el contrario, a Candy se la veía una mujer fuerte, incluso desafiante. Su actitud con él era vacilante, pero indudablemente era fuerte.
Sintió curiosidad respecto a aquella mujer. ¿Qué relación tenía con él? ¿Eran amantes? La idea le hizo sonreír. Fervientemente, esperaba que lo hubieran sido y que volvieran a serlo. Le resultaba difícil apartar los ojos de ella, y también la había sorprendido observándole a él. Había algo entre los dos, algo que estaba deseando explorar.
Anthony se volvió cuando la puerta se abrió. Un hombre de gran tamaño y con el pelo corto y cano entró en la habitación.
—Ah, veo que está despierto —dijo el hombre.
—¿Lo conozco? —preguntó Anthony sintiéndose desnudo con aquel camisón de hospital abierto por la espalda.
—No, no nos conocíamos —respondió el hombre, que se abrió la chaqueta para enseñar una placa de policía—. Soy el detective Hill y he venido a hacerle unas preguntas.
Anthony sacudió la cabeza y, despacio, volvió a la cama.
—Le advierto que estoy a oscuras respecto a casi todo.
—Sí, ya he oído que dice sufrir amnesia –contestó Hill. Anthony frunció el ceño mientras se tapaba con las ropas de cama. Aún le dolía la cabeza; pero, en general, se sentía bastante bien.
—¿Por qué parece dudarlo? El detective sonrió.
—Porque es un momento muy oportuno para sufrir amnesia. Tengo entendido que no recuerda nada sobre el accidente.
—Exacto —dijo Anthony sintiendo una repentina cólera—. ¿Qué es lo que debería recordar, detective Hill?
—Bueno, para empezar, a su hermano.
—Me han dicho que tengo un hermano que se llama Terrence. Según tengo entendido, acababa de marcharse de viaje de luna de miel cuando ocurrió el accidente. Ha vuelto a marcharse durante mi coma, por lo que aún no lo he visto; sin embargo, no comprendo qué tiene el que ver con esto.
—Me refería a su otro hermano —dijo Hill—, a su hermano gemelo. El que murió en el accidente cuando se cayeron por el terraplén.
A Anthony le dio la impresión de que el corazón le había dejado de latir. ¿Un hermano gemelo? Sacudió la cabeza, convencido de que aquel hombre estaba mintiendo. Nadie había mencionado a un hermano gemelo muerto en el accidente.
Pero Hill lo miró con gesto desafiante. No, el policía no mentía.
Anthony volvió a sentir como si se le parara el corazón. Un hermano gemelo. Había perdido a un hermano y ni siquiera se acordaba. Se sintió asqueado, triste y furioso. Se sintió vulnerable. ¿Por qué no le había dicho nadie nada?
Sintió la mirada hostil de Hill. Que mirase. Anthony no tenía nada que ocultar, lo único que tenía que hacer era descubrirse a sí mismo.
—¿Qué es lo que pretende? —dijo Anthony por fin.
—O es usted un gran actor, o está diciendo la verdad. ¿En serio no recuerda nada?
—Quizá sea un gran actor que, al mismo tiempo, no recuerda nada —contestó Anthony—. Sabe usted tanto como yo sobre mí mismo, sobre quién o qué soy.
La puerta se abrió y la doctora O´Brien entró en la habitación con una tablilla en la mano. Nada más ver a Hill, dijo:
—Recuerdo perfectamente haberle dicho que esperase unos días hasta que el joven recupere la memoria. ¿Va a obligarme a poner vigilantes en la puerta?
El detective alzó las manos.
—Pasaba por aquí y decidí hacer una visita...
—Le he dicho que sufre amnesia.
—Quería verlo con mis propios ojos —respondió Hill mirando a Anthony—. A veces, a los médicos se les escapan cosas que jamás se le escaparían a un policía.
—Salga de aquí inmediatamente —dijo la doctora secamente.
—Volveré, señor Andley. Cuente con ello —dijo el policía antes de salir.
Candy, que al parecer estaba en el pasillo, entró in mediatamente, cerró la puerta tras de sí y luego se apoyó en ella. Su postura hizo que la falda se le ciñese al vientre y, de repente, Anthony se fijó en lo abultado de su abdomen. ¿Estaba embarazada? De ser así, eso añadía una nueva dimensión a su relación.
—¿Qué te ha dicho ese hombre? —preguntó Candy. Anthony miró a Candy, luego a la doctora y una vez más a Candy.
—Me ha dicho que tenía un hermano gemelo que murió en el accidente.
Las dos mujeres se miraron.
—Entonces, es verdad, ¿no? —añadió Anthony.
La doctora O'Brien asintió.
—¿Y a nadie se le ha ocurrido decírmelo? Tengo que saber lo que ha pasado.
—Fue un accidente de coche. Tú sobreviviste, pero Albert no —contestó Candy.
—Albert —dijo Anthony, deseando con todo su corazón que aquel nombre significara algo para él—. ¿Eramos idénticos?
—Sí —respondió Candy con voz suave.
Mirando a la doctora, Anthony dijo:
—¿Cómo es posible que fuéramos gemelos y que ni siquiera lo recuerde?
La doctora O'Brien le tocó el brazo.
—Date tiempo. Quizá debieras alegrarte de que, de momento, no tengas que enfrentarte al dolor que eso te producirá.
—Alegrarme —murmuró Anthony.
_¿Acaso sabía alguien lo aterrador que era aquel vacío en la memoria?_
La doctora le dio un pequeño vaso de papel que contenía tres pastillas. Mientras le servía agua en un vaso, añadió:
—Ya has tenido excitación suficiente por hoy, ahora duérmete. Quizá, cuando te despiertes, habrás recuperado la memoria.
—Eso es lo que el doctor Martin me ha dicho —con testó Anthony—, solo que con palabras más complicadas.
—El doctor Martin es psicólogo y los psicólogos utilizan palabras complicadas para todo —comentó la doctora O'Brien con una sonrisa.
Anthony se tomó las pastillas. La verdad era que es taba cansado de que la gente se lo quedara mirando, esperando que recordara quiénes eran, que recordara cualquier cosa. Además, admitió para sí mismo que la visita de Hill le había preocupado.
Entró una enfermera y le tomó la temperatura y la tensión. Por fin, la doctora O'Brien le dio unas palmadas en las piernas y salió de la habitación en compañía de la le ahuecó las almohadas y, entre tanto, Anthony tuvo la impresión de que ella estaba evitando mirarlo.
Le agarró el brazo mientras se recostaba en las almohadas. La piel de Candy era tan suave como el saté se preguntó cuántas veces la había tocado en el pasado, y qué clase de emociones despertaba en ella ahora. ¿La excitaba tanto como ella lo excitaba a él? A juzgar por la forma como Candy clavó los ojos en sus manos, la respuesta era un no rotundo.
—Me gustaría hacerte algunas preguntas —dijo Anthony.
—¿Como qué?
—Para empezar, ¿dónde estamos? Quiero decir, en concreto.
—En Lakewood, Chicago. En la habitación trescientos cinco del hospital el Buen Samaritano.
—¿Cómo me gano la vida?
—Eres abogado de la empresa de abogados Goodman, Todd y Randers.
—¿Que soy abogado? —dijo él con voz incrédula.
—Según Bill Goodman, eres un abogado extraordinario. Sueles trabajar como abogado defensor en los juicios. Nos conocimos cuando acudí a ti para que me ayudaras a arreglar los asuntos de mi padre cuando murió.
Anthony trató de imaginarse a sí mismo en un juicio. Trató de imaginarse a sí mismo defendiendo a un asesino, habiéndole a un jurado, acercándose a un juez. Sabía que los abogados hacían esas cosas... pero no se veía a sí mismo en aquel papel.
—¿No te hace recordar nada? —preguntó ella. Anthony sacudió la cabeza despacio.
—No, nada.
—El ramo de rosas lo ha mandado Miles Flanders. Ha dicho que no te preocupes por el caso Dalton, que ya tiene a otros trabajando en él.
Anthony se dio cuenta de que Candy estaba esperando que aquello evocara algún recuerdo en su memoria. Fue inútil.
—¿Quién eres tú exactamente? —preguntó Anthony mirándola con intensidad.
—Candy...
—Ya sé que tu nombre es Candy, pero ¿quién eres? ¿Qué eres para mí?
Ella se encogió de hombros.
—Somos amigos.
Anthony se llevó la mano de Candy a la boca y le besó los dedos. Olía a flores silvestres y a sol, no a hospital. Deseó estrecharla en sus brazos y saborear sus labios, pero la expresión de ella le hizo contenerse. Candy lo miraba como si estuviese loco.
—¿Amigos? ¿Eso es todo? —preguntó Anthony.
—Pregúntame otras cosas —dijo ella con firmeza, retirando la mano—. O no, mejor será que te duermas, como ha dicho la doctora.
Anthony decidió no seguirla presionándola... de momento.
—¿Tengo más hermanos?
—No. Tenías dos hermanos, ahora solo tienes uno, Terry.
—¿Estaba... muy unido a Albert?
Ella respiró profundamente y titubeó.
—Vamos, Candy. Me encuentro en una situación de desventaja respecto a todos los demás. Dime la verdad, ¿estaba unido a mi hermano?
Candy se tocó los húmedos ojos, se pasó una mano por el pelo y dijo:
—No especialmente.
—¿Por qué?
—No estoy segura.
—No me estás hablando con franqueza —le espetó él.
Candy sacudió la cabeza y, por primera vez, Anthony pensó que se la veía agotada, tanto física como psíquicamente.
—Estás embarazada, ¿verdad?
Ella vaciló un instante antes de asentir.
Adormilado, Anthony se pasó una mano por la frente y cerró los ojos unos segundos. ¡Maldición, las pastillas estaban empezando a hacerle efecto! Justo ahora que la conversación se ponía interesante.
—¿Quién es el padre?
Ella se lo quedó mirando.
Por fin, contestó:
—No quiero hablar de eso.
—Pero...
—Por favor, no vuelvas a preguntármelo.
Anthony quería sacarle la verdad, pero los párpados le pesaban una tonelada. Mientras el mundo se apagaba a su alrededor, buscó algo a lo que aferrarse. Lo único que encontró fue un par de ojos Verdes.
—Ya han pasado casi dos semanas —dijo la doctora O'Brien.
Sentado a su lado estaba el doctor Martin, un hombre de cincuenta años, de cabello negro y elegante bigote. El doctor Martin fijó la mirada en el inflado archivo de A. Andley.
—Lo que nos lleva a suponer que esta amnesia va a durar más de lo que había supuesto en un principio —añadió la doctora O'Brien.
Candy miró a Will y a Pauna, que estaba sentados a su lado alrededor de la mesa de reuniones. Ambos parecían a punto de derrumbarse; cosa que, por diferentes razones, le ocurría a ella también. Desde que recuperó la consciencia, Anthony se había apoyado en ella; pero el esfuerzo por mantenerse amistosa, a la vez que distante, la estaba agotando.
—Físicamente, se está recuperando muy bien —dijo la doctora O'Brien.
—En mi opinión, la amnesia puede ser el resultado del trauma producido por el accidente y la muerte de su hermano —dijo el doctor Martin—. En otras palabras, el sentimiento de culpa del superviviente.
—Pero hemos tenido mucho cuidado en no decir nada —interpuso Pauna.
—Creo que ni siquiera sabe que conducía él —añadió Will.
—Me ha estado haciendo preguntas muy difíciles de contestar —dijo Candy—. Yo he hecho todo lo posible por responder en la forma más positiva posible, tal y como usted sugirió.
El doctor Martin se inclinó hacia delante.
—Sin embargo, en el subconsciente, lo sabe. La amnesia puede ser un mecanismo para protegerse de la verdad. Pero no quiero que, de momento, nadie hable con él sobre este asunto del sentimiento de culpa.
—He hablado con el fiscal del distrito —anunció la doctora O'Brien—. Le he explicado el estado en el que Anthony se encuentra y ha accedido a no presentar ninguna denuncia hasta que Anthony recuerde quién es y lo que ocurrió aquella noche. Además, tengo que confesar que me enteré de que los análisis de sangre que les hicieron a Albert y a Anthony en la clínica no puedan ser utilizados. Una enfermera les sacó sangre, pero algo pasó luego y fue un verdadero desastre que dejó inservibles los análisis.
—No es la primera vez que tenemos problemas con esa clínica —dijo el doctor Martin.
—Es una clínica pequeña, apartada, y les falta personal. En fin, no creo que el fiscal tenga mucho en lo que basarse. Además, con los contactos de Anthony, no tendrá ningún problema legal.
—Ya hemos hablando con el señor Flanders —dijo Pauna—. Nos ha dicho algo muy parecido a lo que usted acaba de decir. También ha dicho que todos los del despacho están enterados de que tienen que ser discretos respecto a los detalles de lo que pasó.
—Bien —dijo el doctor Martin—. Ahora, lo que quiero es que lo lleven a casa. A su casa, señor y señora Andley, a la habitación donde dormía cuando era niño.
Pauna lanzó un gemido.
—Vendimos la casa hace un par de meses y nos hemos trasladado a una urbanización —explicó Will—. No podía seguir manteniéndola...
—Jamás se nos ocurrió que algo así pudiera pasar —interrumpió Pauna.
—Exacto —dijo Will con ojos sumamente tristes, frotándose la barbilla—. Albert se marchó hace años. Estudió Derecho en California y, después de licenciarse, abrió un despacho de abogados allí. Tenía una casa en San Francisco. Anthony estudió Derecho en Chicago, pero se marchó de casa hace cinco años. Hace un año se mudó a una casa nueva. La verdad es que no le veíamos mucho.
—Sobre todo, desde que rompisteis —añadió Pauna mirando a Candy.
—Sí, así es —añadió Will—. Después de aquello, casi no le hemos visto.
—Decía que estaba muy ocupado —comentó Pauna en tono de ligero reproche.
A Candy le dieron ganas de gritar: _«¡Vuestro querido hijo me dejó, no al contrario! ¡Y no os iba a ver porque estaba demasiado ocupado acostándose con_
_cualquier mujer que se encontraba, así que no me echéis la culpa a mí!»._
—En ese caso, ahí es donde tiene que volver —declaró el doctor Martin—. Quizá eso lo ayude a recuperar la memoria. Y usted, señora Andley, será mejor que pase con él un tiempo.
A Candy le sorprendió ver a Pauna bajar la cabeza con los ojos llenos de lágrimas.
—No puedo —contestó Pauna por fin.
—Vamos, cariño —dijo Will.
—No —repitió Pauna mirando a su marido. Después, miró a los médicos—. Tenemos que ir a San Francisco a arreglar los asuntos de Albert, cosa que hemos estado retrasando demasiado. Ya hemos hecho los preparativos para marcharnos mañana.—Puedo ir yo solo —dijo WIll—. Tú quédate aquí con Anthony.
Pauna sacudió la cabeza y luego miró a Candy.
—Sé que es pedirte demasiado, Candy, pero... ¿no podrías quedarte con Anthony durante un par de semanas? Si hay alguien que puede ayudar a mi hijo a recuperar la memoria, ese alguien eres tú —entonces, Pauna se volvió a los médicos—. ¿No es verdad? ¿No sería lo mejor que la mujer de la que mi hijo está enamorado sea quien se quede con él?
—Oh, Pauna, no tienes idea de lo que me estás pidiendo —dijo Candy.
—Sí, lo sé perfectamente —respondió Pauna con firmeza.
Candy comprendió lo que Pauna estaba tratando de decir: si su marido iba solo a San Francisco a enfrentarse con la triste tarea de arreglar las cosas de su difunto hijo, temía que aquello fuera demasiado para su débil corazón. Pauna se enfrentaba ante un imposible dilema, elegir entre su marido o su hijo, y le estaba diciendo a Candy a quién había elegido. Le estaba rogando a Candy que ocupara su puesto mientras ella estaba ausente.
Candy se encontró atrapada entre la imagen falsa que había presentado de Anthony delante de sus padres y el verdadero Anthony, que solo unas semanas antes la había despreciado. El corazón se le encogió al pensar en volver con Anthony a su piso. No había vuelto desde la noche que hicieron el amor, desde la noche que engendraron a su hijo.
Por fin, Candy contestó:
—Está bien, me quedaré con él durante un par de se manas.
—¡Estupendo! —exclamó el doctor Martin—. Pensándolo bien, usted es la persona perfecta. Quiero que le ayude a recuperar el pasado. Enséñele fotos, llévelo a sus sitios favoritos, háblele de cómo se enamoraron. No sabemos qué es lo que puede hacerle recuperar la memoria; por lo tanto, ábrale el mayor número de puertas posibles, excepto los detalles del accidente en el que su hermano murió. Preferiría que eso lo recordara él solo.
—¿Y qué debo decirle respecto al bebé?
—Dígale la verdad —contestó el doctor Martin.
Will sonrió esperanzado y Pauna se secó las lágrimas con un pañuelo. Solo la doctora O'Brian miró a Candy como si comprendiera lo arduo de aquella tarea.
—Está bien, haré lo que pueda —respondió Candy.
_Para sí misma, añadió: «Dos semanas. Podré aguantarlo durante dos semanas. Después, me marcharé»_
**_CONTINUARÁ ..._**
* * *
UN ABRAZO EN LA DISTANCIA
LIZVET
5. Chapter 5
**Capítulo 4**
ANTHONY hizo el trayecto a su casa tratando de re cordar los edificios que pasaron, el río que cruzaron, cualquier cosa.
—Ahí es donde trabajas —le dijo Candy señalando una elegante casa victoriana en el corazón del barrio comercial de Chicago La manzana estaba formada de casas similares, todas ocupadas por negocios. Anthony vio una empresa de seguros, un refugio para mujeres, las oficinas de una asociación de protección del medio ambiente y, en la esquina, su empresa: Goodman, Todd y Flanders. Evidentemente, aún no era socio accionista de la empresa.
¿Cómo sabía eso?
—Tu despacho da a esta calle, está en el segundo piso.
—No me resulta familiar —murmuró Anthony al cabo de unos segundos.
—Quizá reconozcas tu piso.
Él asintió, pero lo hizo por Candy. Empezaba a temer que nada volviera a resultarle familiar nunca, y le sorprendió descubrir que empezaba a echar de menos al hospital. Al menos, allí, conocía a algunas enfermeras y a los médicos que lo habían atendido.
Descubrió que vivía en un elegante apartamento con muy buenas vistas a la bahía,Harbor Point Condominium. Debía ser muy buen abogado para poder permitirse vivir allí. Después de insistir en llevar la maleta de Candy, subió detrás de ella un tramo de escaleras.
Candy abrió la puerta del piso con las llaves de él. Mientras Anthony se detenía en la entrada, como una visita, Candy cruzó la estancia y descorrió las cortinas, mostrando un gran y aireado cuarto de estar.
—¿Nada? —preguntó ella al tiempo que se volvía.
Anthony sacudió la cabeza. Descubrió que vivía en un mundo opulento de espesas alfombras, maderas nobles y elegante mobiliario. Una fina capa de polvo cubría las superficies.
Al mirar al su alrededor, por primera vez, sintió algo parecido a encontrarse en casa. No recordaba haber comprado el sofá blanco, pero le gustaba. Lo mismo le ocurría con la alfombra de lana y la acuarela del puerto que colgaba de una pared.
Anthony suspiró profundamente. CAndy estaba delante de la ventana, la luz del sol iluminaba su delgado cuerpo y hacía brillar sus cabellos dorados. Llevaba pantalones cortos negros y camisa blanca. Sus largas piernas estaban desnudas y calzaba unas sandalias de cuero de tiras finas. Anthony la miró de una forma puramente masculina. Desde la primera vez que la vio en el hospital, había tenido fantasías eróticas con ella.
La memoria era una cosa extraña. Aunque no recordaba especialmente a ninguna mujer, sabía que había hecho el amor. Lo que no comprendía era, si Candy y él habían hecho el amor antes, por qué ella se mostraba tan distante.
Sacudiéndose esos pensamientos con un movimiento de cabeza, se lanzó a la tarea más apremiante. Entró en la cocina y encontró los armarios modesta mente aprovisionados con artículos exóticos, aunque todos podían comerse directamente al sacarlos de la lata o bote. El mueble con el equipo de música contenía montones de discos. La agenda estaba llena de nombres, direcciones y teléfonos; al parecer, tenía muchos amigos, aunque la mayoría eran mujeres.
El contestador automático tenía una luz roja encendida y, automáticamente, pulsó la tecla correcta para recibir los mensajes. Una voz gutural rogaba que la llamara tan pronto como fuera posible, Anthony sorprendió a Candy observándolo mientras recogía los mensajes de una mujer tras otra. Al final, Anthony apagó el contestador.
—Al parecer tengo una vida social intensa —dijo él.
Candy arqueó las cejas.
En el dormitorio principal había una enorme cama cubierta con una bonita , que le había estado siguiendo en la inspección de la casa, se detuvo en la puerta. Cuando Anthony se sentó en la cama, ella volvió el rostro, súbitamente enrojecido. ¿Estaba avergonzada porque se había acostado con él en aquella cama o porque quería hacerlo otra vez? Anthony esperaba que fuera lo último, pero habría apostado a que se trataba de lo primero.
En el armario encontró un gran número de trajes de chaqueta, chaquetas deportivas, jerseys de cashemere, zapatos, corbatas y demás artículos, todos ellos suma mente caros. Nada le resultaba familiar.
Candy había regresado al cuarto de estar. Anthony se reunió allí con ella, deteniéndose delante de unas estanterías para vinos que parecían contener marcas caras. Anthony agarró una de las botellas, un cabernet cosecha del setenta y nueve. Sabía que era una buena marca, sabía que era una cosecha excelente, pero no tenía idea de cómo era que lo sabía.
—Será mejor que no bebas —dijo Candy—. La doctora O'Brien ha dicho que esperes unos días porque la cabeza...
El hizo un gesto impaciente con la mano.
—¿Se reduce a esto mi vida?
Candy pareció sumamente sorprendida.
—¿Qué quieres decir?
Anthony volvió a colocar la botella en la estantería.
—La nevera está vacía, a excepción de tres botellas de champán. El armario está lleno de ropa. Mi agenda está llena de nombres de mujeres, y eso sin mencionar los mensajes telefónicos, ni los vinos. Piénsalo, Candy. Añade a eso el equipo de música y mi vida parece girar en torno al alcohol, las mujeres y la música. ¿Soy solo eso?
Candy se mordió los labios y a Anthony le dieron ganas de abrazarla. Quería establecer un lazo de unión con ella. Se sentía solo y desolado.
—No, claro que no —respondió ella por fin—. Eres un magnífico abogado. Has trabajado gratis para el refugio de mujeres por el que hemos pasado. La gente te aprecia. Te gustan las cosas buenas.
—Eso ya lo he notado.
—Debe ser... muy extraño encontrarte así —añadió Candy—. Todos te resultamos desconocidos y tu propia casa es un misterio para ti.
Anthony detectó una nota de compasión en la voz de Candy. Compasión era lo último que quería de ella.
—¿Quién eres, Candy? ¿Por qué estás aquí?
—Tus padres...
—Sí, sí, ya lo sé. Mis padres han tenido que marcharse a California a solucionar los asuntos de Albert. También sé que Terrence está en un viaje de negocios. Pero podrían haber contratado una enfermera o alguien para que me hiciera compañía, ¿no? ¿Por qué tú?
Candy sacudió la cabeza.
—He sido yo quien te ha dejado embarazada, ¿verdad?
Candy alzó la cabeza y lo miró a los ojos.
—Sí.
—En ese caso, ¿por qué no estamos casados?
Candy volvió a guardar silencio. Anthony se dio cuenta de que estaba tratando de buscar respuestas que no le desagradaran, y eso lo irritó.
—¡Maldita sea, Candy, dime la verdad!
—¿La verdad, Anthony? ¿Es eso lo que realmente quieres?
—Sí —respondió él sin vacilar.
Pero, de repente, las dudas lo asaltaron. ¿Tan inhumano era que las personas allegadas a él tenían miedo de hablarle de sí mismo?
—Está bien, te diré la verdad —contestó Candy—. Sí, tú me has dejado embarazada. Rompimos antes de descubrir que lo estaba, hace ya casi seis meses. La verdad, Anthony, es que no me quieres y tampoco quieres tener este hijo. Respecto a por qué estoy aquí... es una buena pregunta.
Candy fue a darse la vuelta para apartarse de él, pero Anthony le tocó los hombros.
—Si tan sinvergüenza era, ¿por qué saliste conmigo?
Candy volvió la cabeza para mirarlo. Anthony quiso secarle las lágrimas, pero lo hizo ella misma con dedos temblorosos.
—Al principio no lo eras.
—Me alegra oírlo.
Candy volvió a darle la cara.
—Mi padre acababa de morir y yo estaba muy... decaída. Tú te mostraste comprensivo y amable conmigo.
—¿Pero no duró?
—No —respondió ella con voz apenas audible.
—¿Qué pasó?
Candy se encogió de hombros antes de contestar.
—Conseguiste lo que querías.
—Conseguí lo que quería. Ah, quieres decir que hicimos el amor y después...
—Después perdiste el interés por mí.
—Me resulta imposible de creer —dijo Anthony mirando fijamente a aquellos increíbles ojos verdes—. ¿Estás segura...?
—A la gente le gusta hablar.
—¿Qué significa eso?
—Después de que rompiésemos, empecé a oír cosas.
Con temor, Anthony preguntó:
—¿Qué clase de cosas?
—No quiero hacerte daño; Anthony...
—¿Qué clase de cosas?
—Bueno... que salías mucho, que tenías muchas novias al mismo tiempo... Hacías y decías lo que te convenía con el fin de conseguir lo que querías, pero enseguida te aburrías de ello. Cosas así.
—Vaya, soy un ganador —comentó él mientras se daba vueltas al anillo que llevaba en el dedo anular de la mano derecha. Le habían dado el anillo en el hospital, le habían dicho que era suyo; pero, como todo lo demás, le resultaba desconocido.
—Pero tengo que confesar que, cuando estabas conmigo, fuiste maravilloso.
—Parece prometedor.
—Me mandabas flores constantemente y, en una ocasión, me enviaste a la escuela a un payaso con un enorme manojo de globos. A los niños les encantó.
—¿Y a ti?
—A mí también —susurró ella—. Eras... eres muy inteligente y culto...
—¿Culto? No veo muchos libros por aquí.
—Están todos en la habitación que tienes para invitados, en cajas o en las estanterías. Lees todo lo que te cae en las manos: ficción, Historia, poesía, religión, política... de todo.
Anthony sintió una súbita excitación. Recordaba leer. Le encantaba leer. Instintivamente, dirigió la mirada hacia un rincón del cuarto de estar y encontró un amplio sillón de cuero con una banqueta tapizada para poner los pies. Era el lugar perfecto para leer, un lugar que sabía que existía antes de verlo.
Había un libro encima de la mesa y lo levantó. Era una colección de poemas de amor, había una página marcada con un posavasos de un establecimiento llamado Pepper's Place. El nombre no le dijo nada.
—Anthony, ¿te encuentras bien? —le preguntó Candy.
Anthony, frustrado, sacudió la cabeza. Ojeó el poema y las imágenes le resultaron vivas y eróticas. Sintió un ligero mareo cuando apartó los ojos de aquellas palabras para posarlos en el rostro de esa mujer. Cerró el libro y lo dejó donde lo había encontrado.
—No te preocupes, no es nada.
—Por un momento me ha dado la impresión de que recordabas algo.
—¡No es nada! —le espetó él. Ella bajó la cabeza.
Al instante, Anthony se arrepintió de haberle hablado con tanta brusquedad.
—Perdona, Candy. Por un segundo, me pareció que algo me resultaba familiar. Esto de haber pedido la memoria es como una pesadilla.
—Sí —dijo ella.
Anthony tragó saliva y añadió:
—Siento haber sido un sinvergüenza. Siento haberte hecho daño, haberte utilizado y haberte engañado.
—No te preocupes, lo he superado —contestó Candy.
—Ahora comprendo por qué te muestras tan distante y precavida conmigo.
Candy asintió. Tenía aspecto de estar tan sola como él se sentía. Anthony se preguntó cómo podía hacerla ver que el antiguo Anthony, el hombre que había hecho esas cosas, ya no existía.
—No tienes idea de lo que es oír todo esto sobre uno mismo. No me malinterpretes, no te estoy pidiendo compasión, ni siquiera perdón; sin embargo, durante el tiempo que pasemos juntos, te ruego que intentes verme como soy ahora.
—¿Y no como eras antes o como volverás a ser en el futuro?
—¿Está escrito en alguna parte que tenga que volver a ser el que era?
—No tengo ni idea.
—Yo tampoco. Sin embargo, quizá esta sea la oportunidad de mi vida para cambiar, para convertirme en una mejor persona.
Candy pareció dubitativa. Por fin, contestó:
—Está bien, ¡o intentaré.
—Gracias.
La vio recuperar la compostura, adoptar una actitud de autoprotección. Ahora comprendía los motivos, pero comprenderlo no significaba que le gustara.
—Entre tanto, tendremos que trabajar —anunció Candy—. El doctor Martin quiere que te familiarices con tu pasado, paso a paso. Tu madre me ha dado un álbum de fotos de hace años y también me ha dado una lista con los sitios a los que te gustaba ir cuando eras pequeño. Dentro de un rato, iremos a hacer la compra y compraremos la comida que sé que te gusta. También tendremos que ir a tu oficina. En fin, ¿por dónde quieres que empecemos?
Anthony contestó con absoluta honestidad.
—¿Qué te parece si me das un abrazo?
Candy se lo quedó mirando unos momentos, pero no contestó.
—Candy, he sido yo quien te ha dejado embarazada. Tú misma me has dicho que voy a ser padre. Sin embargo, en lo que a mí concierne, jamás te he dado un abrazo —Anthony abrió los brazos—. Vamos, por favor.
Por fin, Candy se decidió a entrar en el círculo de aquellos brazos. Alzó una mano y, con suavidad, le tocó la cicatriz de la mejilla izquierda. Después, le abrazó y Anthony apoyó la barbilla en la cabeza de ella, cerrando los ojos.
Anthony volvió a experimentar un sentimiento de pertenencia. En lo más profundo de su ser, sabía que abrazar a Candy White era algo a lo que estaba acostumbrado.
Candy era hermosa, tierna, paciente y orgullosa. Si él era como ella le había dicho que era, ¿por qué había atraído a una mujer como Candy? Quizá fuera en eso en lo que debiera concentrarse, quizá hubiera un as pecto de su personalidad digno de salvarse. Candy había visto algo en él, quizá pudiera verlo otra vez.
Unos minutos más tarde, cuando Anthony fue a darse una ducha, Candy salió a la terraza.
—¿Por qué estoy aquí? —le dijo a su hijo.
Pero sabía la respuesta a la pregunta. Estaba allí porque quería ayudar a Will y a Pauna, y proteger a Anthony. Quería ayudarlo a descubrirse a sí mismo. Quería hacer lo posible por salvar al padre de su hijo.
«No va a ser fácil», pensó Candy de repente.
Sabía que tenía que protegerse a sí misma. Incluso en circunstancias normales, Anthony podía ser encantador cuando le convenía, por eso era tan difícil resistirse a él.
Pero aquellas no eran circunstancias normales. Al abrazarse, Candy había vuelto a sentir una punzada de dolor. Durante unos momentos, se había visto transportada al pasado. Había una peligrosa atracción entre ellos, siempre la había habido. Pero hacía meses que la había superado, y ahora no iba a cometer otro desliz.
Pero... ¡la gloria de sus brazos! Anthony le había dicho que no se acordaba de haberla abrazado; sin embargo, sus propios recuerdos la hacían revivir más que abrazos. Pero unos minutos antes, al abrazarla, había sentido en él una ternura que nunca antes había sentido.
El nuevo Anthony, la mejorada versión de Anthony, no tenía noción de la realidad. Simplemente, la necesitaba. Que fuera o no consciente de ello, no cambiaba el hecho de que era un oportunista. Siempre lo había sido. En el momento en que ella dejara de creerlo, tendría que marcharse. Pero no le pasaría nada, no sufriría, si tenía siempre presente que solo era para él un apoyo, una ayuda, nada más.
Dos semanas.
El timbre de la puerta sonó. Esperó unos segundos por si Anthony había salido de la ducha e iba a abrir; pero cuando el timbre volvió a sonar, Candy entró otra vez en el piso.
Anthony salió del dormitorio principal en ese momento. Estaba desnudo, solo le cubría una toalla atada a la cintura. Su cuerpo era impresionante: anchas espaldas y un torso fuerte que se estrechaba hasta una delgada cintura. Unas gotas de agua brillaban en el ve llo de su pecho. Debido a las semanas que había pasado en el hospital, estaba más delgado que la última vez que Candy lo viera desnudo, pero la pérdida de peso no había disminuido su atractivo.
—Yo abriré —dijo ella mirándolo a la cara.
Anthony se pasó una toalla pequeña por el cabello y la miró con esos ojos azules tan especiales.
—Es mi casa, así que supongo que será mejor que abra yo.
—Como quieras.
Anthony abrió la puerta a una mujer de mediana edad con un cabello rizado de un imposible negro azulado. Parecía disgustada, aunque, sorprendentemente, su disgusto no se debía a la semidesnudez de Anthony.
Durante un instante, Candy se preguntó si no sería la enfurecida madre de alguna chica a la que Anthony hubiera dejado plantada.
—Lo siento, señor Andley —dijo la mujer.
—No comprendo...
—Quería haber venido antes a pasar la aspiradora y a limpiar el polvo, justo como su madre me dijo que hiciera; pero he estado tan atareada con mi otro trabajo que se me ha olvidado. Hace tanto que no venía que... En fin, al volver a casa y darme cuenta de lo que había hecho, he venido directamente. Ya sé que no quiere que esté aquí después de las cinco de la tarde, y siento muchísimo molestarlo. Si prefiere que vuelva mañana, dígamelo y estaré aquí a primera hora.
—¿Quién es usted? —preguntó Anthony.
—Soy Dorothy Jhonsson, la que le limpia la casa —de repente, la mujer se dio una palmada en la frente—. Oh, Dios mío, se me había olvidado. Sufre amnesia o algo así, ¿verdad?
—Sí, algo así —comentó Anthony irónicamente.
—Entonces, ¿no me reconoce? —preguntó la mujer.
—No, lo siento.
—No se preocupe, señor, no soy nadie importante. Quiero decir que yo solo vengo aquí a limpiar. En fin, aunque no se acuerde, usted me ha dicho millones de veces que no venga después de las cinco porque, a menudo, le visitan sus amigas —Dorothy miró hacia el interior de la estancia y vio a Candy—. Igual que ahora. Oh, lo siento...
—No se preocupe —le dijo Anthony dándole una palmada en el brazo—. Le presento a Candy White. Candy va a pasar un tiempo conmigo, hasta que recupere la memoria.
—Lo siento, señor, no he querido decir que ella fuera una de sus... Bueno, ya sabe, en su estado... Lo único que he querido decir es...
Como Dorothy no parecía capaz de salir del atolladero en el que se había metido, Candy decidió intervenir.
—Señora Jhonsson, ¿por qué no entra y hace lo que tiene que hacer? De esa manera, no tendrá que preocuparse de ello mañana.
—Bueno, si al señor Andley no le parece mal...
Anthony, con un gesto, le indicó que entrara.
—Por favor, pase.
Dorothy se dirigió directamente a la cocina. Anthony se acercó a Candy y le susurró:
—Voy a vestirme y, si te parece, luego podríamos salir a comer algo.
Candy trató de negarse a sí misma lo que el aliento de Anthony le hizo sentir.
—¿No estás demasiado cansado para salir? —preguntó ella.
—Es evidente que le doy pavor a esa pobre mujer, así que vamos a dejarla en paz. Además, no hemos comido y estoy seguro de que, en esa lista, debe haber un par de restaurantes que se supone que debemos visitar; de esa manera, mataremos dos pájaros de un tiro.
Anthony tenía razón. Además, no había nada de comer en la casa y a Candy no le apetecía ir a comprar. Por otra parte, ahora que había recuperado el apetito tras semanas de náuseas constantes, tenía hambre y sabía a qué sitio iba a llevarle.
—Yo también voy a cambiarme de ropa. Anthony la miró de arriba abajo.
—A mí me parece que estás fabulosa tal y como estás.
Candy empequeñeció los ojos.
—¿Por qué me miras así? —preguntó él.
—Al viejo Anthony no le habría importado molestar a la mujer de la limpieza, y tampoco estaría dispuesto a entrar en un restaurante conmigo vestida así.
—Ya, el viejo Anthony ataca de nuevo.
—Ya sé que he prometido tratar de verte tal y como eres ahora, pero me tienes muy sorprendida.
—Lo tomaré como un halago.
—Sí, me parece que sí —dijo ella asintiendo.
Como todos los fines de semana, el Mona Lisa estaba a rebosar. A pesar de ello, el encargado, al que Candy conocía del tiempo durante el que había salido con Anthony, les dio la bienvenida con una enorme son risa.
—Señor Andley, ¡cuánto tiempo! —dijo Enrico. Anthony estrechó la mano que el hombre le tendió con confusión en la mirada. Enrico se volvió a Anthony.
—La señorita White, ¿verdad? —saludó el encargado, fijándose en el abultado vientre de Candy.
—Tiene una memoria excelente, Enrico —murmuró ella.
—Solo cuando se trata de clientes especiales.
—Hay mucha gente —comentó Candy.
—Los sábados siempre está así —respondió Enrico; después, le dio una palmada en el hombro a Anthony—. Amigo mío, me he enterado de lo de su hermano. Mi más sentido pésame.
—Gracias —contestó Anthony.
Enrico asintió con la cabeza.
—Y ahora, si usted y la señorita White esperan un momento en la barra, les buscaré una mesa. Esta noche, la cena corre por cuenta de la casa. No, no, insisto.
Enrico volvió la cabeza, llamó la atención del camarero que estaba detrás de la barra y añadió:
—Kevin, mira quién está aquí. El camarero era un hombre rubio al que Candy nunca había visto.
—¿Lo de siempre? —preguntó el camarero a Anthony antes de volverse para empezar a preparar la bebida preferida de Anthony, una enorme margarita.
Candy pidió agua mineral.
Anthony se quedó mirando la copa que le habían puesto delante.
—Es lo que bebes siempre que vienes aquí —le dijo Candy.
—¿Me gusta esto?
—Sí.
—¿Soy un hombre de costumbres tan fijas?
—Sí —respondió Candy—. Cuando vienes aquí, siempre bebes margarita y comes calamares fritos.
—Bueno, lo de los calamares no me parece mal —dijo Anthony con una débil sonrisa—. Sé que me encantan los calamares. ¿Los sirven con salsa alioli?
—Sí, y son los mejores de la ciudad; bueno, según tú.
Anthony bebió un sorbo de la bebida e hizo una mueca de desagrado.
—Bueno, además se supone que no debo beber alcohol.
Apartando la margarita, Anthony pidió agua mineral como Candy. Ella se sentó en un taburete, delante de la barra, con Anthony a sus espaldas, y clavó los ojos en el espejo que había en la pared, detrás de la barra. De repente, le pareció estar viendo una fotografía tomada unos meses atrás. Aquel era el primer restaurante al que habían ido juntos.
—¿Y bien? —preguntó Candy, volviéndose de cara a él.
Anthony miró a su alrededor. Era la clase de establecimiento que le gustaba a Anthony: animado, próspero, de moda y caro.
—Supongo que debería recordarlo —comentó él.
—Sí —respondió Candy asintiendo.
—Pues no me suena de nada.
—Bueno, no te preocupes.
—No tienes ni idea de todas las cosas que me preocupan —dijo Anthony—. Por ejemplo, antes de venir aquí, he echado un vistazo a mi billetera y he descubierto que tengo docenas de tarjetas de crédito; nada de dinero suelto, pero un montón de tarjetas de crédito.
—Sí, no me extraña.
—Y no tengo ninguna foto tuya.
—Tampoco me sorprende.
—Me gustaría tener una foto tuya.
Candy tragó saliva. Iba a protestar, pero se contuvo.
—Sí, de acuerdo.
—¿Por qué nos van a invitar a cenar los del restaurante?
—Porque eres uno de sus mejores clientes. Traes aquí a mucha gente a almorzar y también vienes a cenar con regularidad.
—¿Venía aquí mucho contigo?
—Me trajiste aquí la primera vez que salimos juntos —respondió ella—. Y después, me traías una vez por semana.
Anthony sonrió.
—¿Te he besado aquí alguna vez?
Candy se quedó pensativa un momento.
—Ahora que lo pienso, la primera vez que me besaste fue aquí, en la barra.
—Ojalá pudiera acordarme —contestó Anthony con voz suave.
Durante unos momentos, se mantuvieron la mirada. Durante unos momentos, Candy se preguntó qué haría si él cerraba la distancia que los separaba y la besaba. Sintió desazón en los labios. Quizá un beso lo ayudara a recuperar la memoria, racionalizó ella al darse cuenta de que Anthony estaba pensando lo mismo y estaba a punto de apoderarse de su boca.
Una risa femenina rompió la tensión sexual entre los dos. Anthony se echó hacia atrás en el momento en que una rubia de muchas curvas enfundada en un ceñido vestido rosa se plantó a su lado.
—¡Anthony Andley! ¡Dios mío, eres tú! ¿Por qué no has contestado a mi llamada?
—Yo he...
—Oh, cariño, he oído un montón de cosas, pero creía que no te apetecía verme —la mujer se interrumpió un momento para mirar a Candy, y se fijó en su vientre de embarazada. Entonces, ladeando la cabeza con gesto de no darle importancia, se acercó a Anthony hasta pegarle los pechos al brazo—. ¿Te parece que tengamos una fiesta tú y yo esta noche en tu casa, cielo?
—Yo... no, esta noche no.
La mujer le agarró la barbilla y luego, tras una carcajada gutural, dijo:
—Esa cicatriz te hace aún más atractivo, encanto —acentuó el comentario con un beso en los labios—. Llámame, ¿de acuerdo?
—Sí —respondió Anthony, y se la quedó mirando mientras se alejaba—. ¿Quién es?
—¿Cómo voy a saberlo? —preguntó Candy sin poder ocultar su irritación—. Bueno, te sienta bien el carmín de labios, y te aseguro que no hay muchos hombres a los que les siente bien el rosa.
Anthony se limpió la boca con una servilleta de papel.
—Ella sí que parece conocerme.
—Si te das prisa, la darás alcance. Yo no parezco es tar ayudándote mucho a recuperar la memoria, quizá ella tenga más suerte.
—¿Estás celosa?
—Te encantaría que lo estuviera, ¿verdad?
—No lo sé. ¿Lo sabes tú?
—Sí —contestó Candy con firmeza—. Sí, te encantaría que estuviera celosa. No significaría nada para ti, pero te encantaría.
Anthony frunció el ceño; después, para sorpresa de Candy, le agarró la mano. Antes de darse cuenta de lo que Anthony se proponía, empezó a tirar de ella hacia la salida del restaurante. ¡Cielos! ¿Iba realmente a seguir a esa mujer? De ser así, ¿por qué llevaba a rastras a una mujer embarazada?
Así era el viejo Anthony: impredecible, egocéntrico e imposible.
—¡Espera! —exclamó ella.
Anthony abrió la puerta del restaurante y la sacó de allí.
**CONTINUARÁ...**
* * *
**Muchas gracias por todos sus saludos, que tengan un hermoso día.**
**Patty A.- Mi querida amiga detective, bueno ya tengo una idea de tus preguntas, pero vamos capitulo a capitulo ¿vale?**
**Lady Susi- oh sí nena , habrá sorpresas eso te lo puedo asegurar.**
**Alejandra.- nuestro personaje va a dar un cambio total que dejará sorprendida a Candy...Un abrazo.**
**Patty Castillo.- Cariño, un abrazo enorme. Gracias por tus ideas y comentarios.**
**Lis69- oh sí , yo también tengo esa pequeña corazonada, sería lindo ¿no?**
**Blackcat2010 .- Uhm ... Hola... no puedo asegurarte que sea un Anthonyfic, la duda nos la sacaremos más adelante. Gracias por tu review.**
**Josie.- Amiga, en los siguientes capitulos el mismo Anthony , se dará cuenta de los detalles acerca de su similitud con Albert y entonces... pues ahi viene la sorpresa. **
**Nadia. - Muchas gracias por estar siempre al pendiente de este bueno que te haya abrazo.**
**Noemi Cullen. Un abrazo también para ti. Gracias por pasar a saludar.**
**Laila... tambien me encuentro emocionada...uffff lo que se viene...jejeje**
**Sarah Lisa.- tú siempre tan perspicaz nena jejeje, ahora acompañame a leer el descenlace de esta trama ¿sí?. Besos.**
**Sayuri- La incongnita de si murió realmente Albert pues... no puedo adelantártelo , aún no puedo decir que Anthony será uno mejor que el del pasado.**
**Un abrazo en la distancia de todo corazon a cada una de ustedes que hacen posible poder compartir estas historias.**
**Lizvet**
6. Chapter 6
**Capítulo 5**
CANDY se plantó en la calle.
—¡Anthony!
Él se volvió.
—¿Qué?
Candy calló cuando la gente que pasaba por la ca lle se apartaba para pasar. Anthony la agarró de la mu ñeca y tiró de ella hacia un lado.
—Insisto en que, mientras estemos... juntos, me muestres un mínimo respecto. Anthony agrandó los ojos.
—¡Respeto!
Enfurecida, Candy enderezó los hombros.
—No creo que sea mucho pedir...
—¿En qué te he faltado al respeto?
—En ir detrás de esa mujer...
—¿En ir detrás de esa mujer? ¿Es eso lo que crees que estoy haciendo?
—¿No es así?
—¡No, claro que no!
Candy empequeñeció los ojos.
—Entonces, ¿qué demonios estamos haciendo aquí, Anthony?
Anthony empezó a tirar de ella hacia el coche. Por fin, se detuvo delante de un escaparate que tenía cajas de música. Tras una pausa, dijo:
—Necesitaba salir de allí.
—¿Por qué?
—Piénsalo, Candy. Estábamos tan tranquilos, yo iba a volver a descubrir las delicias de los calamares del Mona Lisa y tú habías empezado a relajarte; y, de repente, aparece esa mujer, me planta un beso en la boca y me llama cielo y encanto. Y todo eso delante de ti.
Anthony se miró los zapatos. Después, volvió a alzar los ojos y añadió:
—Y luego tú vas y me dices que, en un pasado re ciente, me habría gustado verte celosa y hacerte sufrir, y que no me habría importado.
¡Y con qué sinceridad lo decía! ¿Era realmente sincero? ¿O volvía a ser el viejo Anthony, el manipulador? Mordiéndose los labios, buscando una forma de ser amable sin necesidad de caer en la trampa otra vez, Candy contestó:
—Yo no he dicho que me hicieras sufrir.
Él esbozó una triste sonrisa.
—No, supongo que no.
—Y a ti no han parecido molestarte sus atenciones.
—¿Sus atenciones? —repitió él en tono burlón—. ¿Es así como tú lo llamas? ¿Has visto al camarero guiñándome el ojo? ¿Te imaginas lo que se siente cuando e tás con una mujer a la que has dejado embarazada y, de repente, aparece otra toda sonrisas y carantoñas? Me he sentido como un sinvergüenza.
—Pero Anthony, es tu restaurante preferido. Además, no supiste que yo estaba embarazada hasta el día del accidente. Lo que hiciste durante el tiempo desde que rompimos hasta que tuviste el accidente era asunto tuyo, no tenía nada que ver conmigo.
—Espera un momento. ¿Qué has dicho, que me ocultaste que estabas embarazada?
—Bueno...
—¿Se supone que eso me tiene que hacer sentir mejor?
—¿No quieres que entremos otra vez y cenemos?
—No —respondió él con firmeza.
—Pero si te encanta el Mona Lisa...
—Quizá me gustaba en el pasado, pero ahora no. Además, creo que he perdido el apetito. Vamos a pa sear un rato.
Candy, tratando de ignorar el hambre, sonrió. Pero su sonrisa tembló cuando Anthony le agarró una mano y luego le dio un abrazo.
Anthony estaba despierto tumbado en la cama. El calmante que Candy le había dado aún no le había hecho efecto, lo que le dio tiempo para pensar. El problema era que tenía poco en qué pensar; al menos, pocas cosas agradables.
Cerró los ojos y se imaginó a sí mismo; entonces, un nombre le vino a la cabeza... Albert. Un hombre físicamente igual que él y con los mismos genes. Anthony conocía pocos detalles del accidente, los médicos le habían dicho que querían que eso lo recordara por sí mismo.
Su hermano gemelo estaba muerto, pero no sentía nada por él, no lloraba su muerte. Se habían criado juntos. Sin duda, habían reído juntos, se habían peleado y habían vuelto locos a amigos, profesores y padres. Incluso habían elegido la misma profesión.
Sin embargo, de adultos, no estaban unidos. Habían vivido lejos el uno del otro. No obstante, al parecer, habían compartido amor al arte y a la lectura. Y, al final, al final de la vida de Albert, iban al mismo sitio en el mismo coche. Por primera vez, se preguntó qué sitio era ese. ¿Por qué habían estado en aquella carretera solitaria el día de la boda de Terrence?
Pensó en Candy. Durante unos segundos, en el bar del restaurante, había sentido un deseo primitivo por ella. Había estado a punto de besarla. La sentía suya instintivamente. Sin embargo, el hecho de que ella no quería pertenecerle cada vez era más obvio.
Anthony se ahuecó la almohada y volvió a tumbarse en la cama; sin embargo, lo que quería hacer era ir a la habitación de invitados y meterse en la cama de ella. Embarazada o no, era una mujer muy sensual, una mu jer encantadora que despertaba en él toda clase de fantasías y emociones. En ese caso, ¿por qué la había de jado?
Bostezó. La pastilla, por fin, hizo efecto.
* * *
Candy se despertó con dolor de cabeza y unas ga nas terribles de tomar un café.
Abrió su maleta y sacó unos pantalones cortos blancos, una camisa azul y una zapatillas de deportes. Iba a ser un día activo.
Al pasar por el espejo, se detuvo y se miró de perfil. Se pasó una mano por el redondeado vientre y sonrió.
Fue al cuarto de baño, se echó agua fría en la cara, se cepilló los dientes y se peinó, pero no se maquilló. ¿Qué importaba que Anthony no la encontrara atractiva?
En parte, para resistirse al atractivo que Anthony ejercía sobre ella, lo mejor era centrarse en ayudarlo a recuperarse, tratando de no pensar en él como hombre. Y para eso debía de dejar de permanecer tumbada en la cama por la noche sin dormir pensando en que él estaba acostado en la habitación contigua. Debía de dejar de pensar en su cuerpo cautivador bajo las mantas, en sus cabellos negros descansando encima de la almohada. Y nada de abrazarse a él con el fin de ayudarlo a recuperar sus recuerdos.
Ese día iban a redescubrir el pasado de Anthony de un modo más tradicional: fotografías, una visita al colegio, otra visita a la casa en la que se crió, y cosas así.
La puerta del dormitorio de Anthony estaba aún cerrada, lo que significaba que, a pesar de los calmantes, él también había pasado la noche inquieto.
Candy se alegró de tener un poco más de tiempo para sí misma.
Sin embargo, al acercarse a la cocina, oyó la puerta del frigorífico al abrirse. Anthony estaba levantado. Al verlo, le sorprendieron dos cosas: que estuviera completamente vestido, con pantalones y chaqueta, y que tuviera una docena de huevos en una mano y un melón en la otra.
Estaba sumamente guapo. La chaqueta era gris oscuro con un ligero tinte pardo, y la camisa del mismo color, pero un tono más claro. La corbata, que ella le había regalado la Navidad anterior, era de seda marrón verdoso. Candy no pudo evitar preguntarse si, sub conscientemente, Anthony sabía que era un regalo suyo.
Cuando Anthony se volvió, la miró con expresión pe netrante. La rubia que lo saludó en el Mona Lisa la tarde anterior tenía razón, la cicatriz aumentaba su atractivo.
—Buenos días —dijo él.
Fue entonces cuando Candy se fijó en las bolsas de la compra que había encima del mostrador.
—Buenos días. ¿Has hecho la compra?
—No había nada de comida en la casa —contestó él mientras ponía huevos, fruta y pan encima del mostrador—, a excepción del caviar y las otras cosas de lata. Las mujeres embarazadas, sobre todo las que no han cenado por la noche, necesitan desayunar.
Candy se asombró de que Anthony hubiera mostrado consideración respecto a sus necesidades.
—¿Cómo has encontrado el supermercado?
—Se lo he preguntado al conserje, y él me ha pedido un taxi por teléfono. Los del supermercado me conocen. Una de las empleadas me ha dicho que era la primera vez que me ha visto comprar comida de verdad; al parecer, solo compro cerveza, vino y aperitivos. Otra empleada se ha ofrecido y me ha traído a casa en coche; durante el trayecto, me ha dicho que era una de las voces femeninas que ha dejado un mensaje en el contestador.
Candy se apoyó contra el mostrador.
—Has estado muy activo esta mañana.
—Sí, y que lo digas.
Candy encontró un paquete de café molido y lo sacó del armario. La cafetera estaba en el escurreplatos.
—¿Qué estás haciendo? —le preguntó Anthony al tiempo que se acercaba a ella.
—Voy a hacer café.
—Gracias, pero no quiero café.
—Está bien, lo prepararé para mí.
—Estás embarazada, no puedes tomar café.
Candy fingió sorpresa.
—¿En serio? ¿Quieres decir que no estoy gorda simplemente?
—Ja, ja, muy graciosa.
Mientras ponía café en la cafetera, Candy añadió:
—El médico me ha dicho que puedo tomar una taza por las mañanas. Ya sé que no te acuerdas, pero, por las mañanas, no me siento humana hasta no tomarme dos tazas de café; así que tomar una es un gran sacrificio que hago por mi hijo.
—Por nuestro hijo —le corrigió Anthony mirándola al abdomen.
Ella alzó los ojos hacia él y volvió a cerrar el paquete de café.
—Nuestro hijo —repitió Anthony.
—Sí, nuestro hijo.
—Tenemos que hablar sobre ese asunto.
A Candy le dio un vuelco el estómago al oír las palabras de Anthony. Inmediatamente, echó agua en la cafetera y la puso en el fuego antes de volverse a él.
—¿De qué es de lo que tenemos que hablar exacta mente, Anthony?
—De cómo vamos a criar a nuestro hijo.
En el pasado, Candy habría dado cualquier cosa por oír esas palabras, pero ahora la asustaban. No estaba acostumbrada a la idea de compartir a su hijo. El hijo de ella. Parte de su cuerpo y de su alma. Aún no le había dicho a Anthony que, tan pronto como sus padres volvieran de San Francisco, ella se iba a Springfield.
—He hecho que te disgustes —dijo él.
—No...
—No se te da bien mentir.
Candy sacudió la cabeza. Estuvo a punto de contestarle que, sin embargo, a él sí se le daba bien mentir; sin embargo, eso habría sido un golpe muy bajo.
—Deja que me tome un café primero, por favor. Además, ¿cómo sabes tú que la cafeína puede dañar al feto?
Anthony se encogió de hombros.
—No tengo ni idea. Quizá lo haya leído en alguna parte.
—Mmmmm.
—He tenido suerte de poder pagar con tarjeta de crédito en el supermercado y al taxista, porque tampoco tengo idea de cuál es el código de la tarjeta. ¿Lo sabes tú?
—Naturalmente que no. Pero en la habitación en la que estoy durmiendo hay un escritorio, así que su pongo que tendrás ahí tus papeles.
—Miraré más tarde. Bueno, ¿qué plan tenemos hoy?
—¿Cómo te encuentras?
—Tan bien que voy a tomarme una aspirina en vez de esas pastillas que me dejan atontado.
—Estupendo. En ese caso, podríamos ver el álbum de fotos o podríamos ir a dar un paseo en coche.
—Prefiero el paseo.
Candy se sirvió el café mientras Anthony miraba la fruta.
—¿Qué me gusta más, el melón o el pomelo? —preguntó Anthony.
—Te gustan las dos cosas.
* * *
Como el coche de Anthony había quedado destrozado en el accidente, tomaron el coche de Candy. Después de las preguntas que Anthony le hiciera aquella mañana respecto a la crianza de su hijo, se alegraba de haber guardado la mayoría de sus pertenencias en el garaje de una amiga. Aún tenía algunas cajas en el maletero del coche; pero a menos que se les pinchara una rueda, Anthony no las vería.
Fueron directamente al centro de Seaport, al colegio en el que Anthony había ido de pequeño. Como toda vía era agosto, el curso no había empezado; por lo tanto, el colegio estaba prácticamente desierto.
—Tu madre me ha dicho que estuviste aquí hasta los diez años.
—No me acuerdo de nada —le dijo él.
—Es un colegio muy agradable. Yo hice mis prácticas de maestra ahí, en la clase de la esquina del edificio.
—Apuesto a que eres una maestra magnífica.
—¿Por qué dices eso?
Anthony sonrió.
—Porque eres cariñosa, compasiva y tierna, y tienes sentido del humor. También tienes aspecto de ángel, y la voz, aunque firme, suave. Y tu pelo es como un rayo de sol.
—Dios mío —dijo Candy, algo asombrada—. En fin, espero que tengas razón en lo que respecta a que sea una buena maestra. No puedes imaginar lo divertidos y creativos que pueden ser los niños de cinco o seis años. Estoy deseando tener uno mío así.
—Pues me parece que tendrás que esperar cinco años —dijo Anthony mirándola al vientre. Después, miró la lista de las cosas que tenían que hacer—. Vamos al instituto donde hice el bachiller.
Con Candy al volante, recorrieron tres kilómetros a través de un laberinto de calles; por fin, llegaron a una valla. Estaban en la parte posterior del edificio, delante del patio de recreo donde unos chicos se estaban preparando para jugar un partido de baloncesto.
—Me pregunto si alguna vez he jugado aquí en verano —comentó Anthony. Candy miró la lista.
—Tu madre ha anotado que jugabas al baloncesto y al béisbol.
—Ahora mismo vuelvo —dijo él saliendo del coche.
Candy le vio atravesar la puerta de la verja y acercarse a los chicos. Después, le vio quitarse la chaqueta y subirse las mangas de la camisa. Uno de los chicos le dio un bate de béisbol, y Anthony lo agarró. Le tiraron una pelota, pero erró. Le dio a la segunda que le tiraron, y la lanzó a mitad del campo. Tras la pequeña prueba que se había impuesto a sí mismo, Anthony charló con los chicos, recogió su chaqueta y volvió al coche.
Echó la chaqueta en el asiento trasero y, cuando se sentó, lanzó un profundo suspiro y sonrió. Algo en su expresión hizo pensar a Candy que había recordado quién era.
Le sorprendió descubrir la ambigüedad de sus sentimientos al respecto. Si Anthony se redescubría a sí mismo, también recordaría lo que sentía por ella. Candy esperaba no estar en un coche pequeño al lado de Anthony cuando llegara ese día.
Y cuando llegara ese día, probablemente tendría que marcharse y quizá no volviera a verlo nunca más,
Quizá.
Quizás no.
Pero si Anthony no recuperaba la memoria...
Candy se sintió atrapada en un mar de confusión.
Nerviosa de repente, dijo:
—Es evidente que has recordado cómo darle a una pelota con un bate de béisbol.
—Sí, Desgraciadamente, es lo único que he recordado.
Así que la sonrisa solo se había debido a haberle dado a la pelota.
—¿Y ahora qué?
«Ahora a casa», quiso responder Candy. Quería darle las llaves del coche y dejar que él condujera por la ciudad. Súbitamente, se sintió enfadada con Pauna por haber abandonado a su hijo y también con los médicos por haber sugerido aquel ridículo plan de acción.
A pesar de lo que estaba pensando, sabía que ni los padres de Anthony ni los médicos eran culpables de nada, ella estaba ahí porque quería. Lo único que tenía que hacer era tener claros sus motivos.
—El instituto al que ibas está a tres kilómetros de aquí. Después del instituto, tú y Albert estudiasteis en Kenwood antes de terminar la carrera de Derecho en diferentes universidades.
—¿Dónde está Kenwood?
—A una hora de aquí en coche, hacia el Este.
—En ese caso, en vez de ir al instituto vamos a Kenwood.
A mitad de camino entre la universidad y la escuela universitaria de Kenwood,Candy reconoció un letrero y, bruscamente, giró el volante hacia la derecha y tomó un desvío.
—Saca la lista y mira si la casa de tus abuelos estaba en un sitio llamado Ponnyhills Road —dijo Candy. Ojeando el papel, Anthony contestó:
—Sí, en el número mil doscientos treinta y seis de Ponnyhills .
Candy aminoró la velocidad ya que la carretera se transformó en una carretera secundaria de casas rurales, casi todas sin número en la puerta. Candy estaba a punto de darse por vencida en el momento en que llegaron a unos campos amarillos en la ladera de una colina. En medio de los campos sembrados había una casa blanca pequeña. Un camino recto corría paralelo a una valla dilapidada. Los números en un poste indicaban el número mil doscientos treinta y seis.
Candy condujo camino arriba. Pero cuando llegaron a la casa, la encontraron abandonada. Los cristales de las ventanas estaban rotos, la puerta colgaba de una sola de sus bisagras, la hiedra subía hasta el tejado, un rosal trepador invadía el porche y crecía hierba entre los ladrillos.
Anthony salió del coche. Candy quería dejarle a solas con sus pensamientos, pero llevaba sentada al volante demasiado tiempo y necesitaba estirar las piernas. Ca minó en dirección contraria a él, para dejarle solo. Se encontraron en el jardín posterior. Anthony parecía pensativo.
—No me preguntes por qué, pero este sitio me resulta familiar.
—¡Eso es maravilloso! Tus abuelos vivieron aquí hasta que tú cumpliste los diez u once años —dijo ella.
—¿Dónde están ahora?
—Tu padre me ha dicho que sus padres murieron hace diez años. Esta casa era de los padres de tu madre; si no recuerdo mal, tu abuela murió hace cinco años y tu abuelo vive en una residencia de ancianos.
—Y yo no me acuerdo de ninguno de ellos —dijo Anthony.
Candy se quedó mirando la barbacoa que había en un rincón del jardín, ahora rodeada de malas hierbas y con ladrillos desparramados por el suelo. No tuvo que forzar mucho la imaginación para visualizar a Anthony, a Albert y a Terrence jugando al béisbol en los campos detrás del jardín mientras su abuelo asaba salchichas en la barbacoa.
De repente, Anthony se volvió para mirar colina arriba, Candy siguió su mirada con los ojos. Hierba amarilla subía hacia el horizonte hasta tocar el cielo azul. Un árbol solitario decoraba la cima de la colina. Sin pronunciar palabra, Anthony empezó a caminar hacia el árbol.
Candy lo siguió.
Con sus pisadas, Anthony abrió una senda a través de la vegetación, y Candy siguió el sendero. Anthony desapareció tras la cima, y ella continuó su ascenso.
Lo encontró detrás del árbol. Cuando Anthony la oyó aproximarse, extendió una mano, se la tomó y la acercó hasta quedar juntos.
—Aquí había un columpio —dijo Anthony.
Sonrió mientras señalaba una gran rama del árbol encima de sus cabezas. Entre el follaje, se podían ver dos maltrechas cuerdas.
—Por supuesto, no me acuerdo de nada —añadió Anthony.
—En ese caso, ¿por qué has subido aquí?
Él aún tenía la mano de ella en la suya, y le estaba provocando toda clase de sensaciones. Era solo una mano, enlazada con la suya, con unos cálidos dedos. Anthony parecía ensimismado en sus pensamientos, ignorante de la tortura que su proximidad estaba generando, mirando colina abajo hacia una arboleda.
—Creía que había un río allí abajo —dijo él.
¿Cómo iba a mantener ella la calma y a controlar sus emociones si Anthony insistía en comportarse como si tocarla fuera la cosa más natural del mundo? No era justo. Candy sentía el cuerpo de él al lado del suyo, le oía respirar. Deseaba que él la soltara; pero, sin embargo, esperaba que no lo hiciera.
—Puede que el río corra entre los árboles —dijo Candy por fin.
Le sorprendió que su voz le hubiera sonado normal, que no hubiera traicionado las indecisiones de su corazón. Aún de la mano, Anthony tiró de ella colina abajo, hacia la arboleda.
Candy había tenido la intención de no moverse y dejarle que fuera solo, pero se lo impidió la silenciosa decisión de él. Anthony se movió con paso ágil, pero no de prisa. Candy tuvo la impresión de que lo hacía por ella, impresión que fue corroborada cuando, al pasar por un terreno pedregoso, Anthony la levantó en sus brazos.
La llevó en brazos sin aparente esfuerzo, sonriendo, mirándola a los ojos.
—No es necesario que me lleves en brazos, puedo andar sola.
Anthony la ignoró y, tras rodear unos arbustos, entró en la arboleda. Por fin se oyó el correr de agua, un sonido suave y melodioso... exactamente lo contrario a lo que Candy sentía.
Apretada contra el pecho de Anthony, con una mano de él tocándole la parte posterior de las rodillas y la otra alrededor de su torso, Candy respiró la intoxicante fragancia de ese hombre. Siempre le había parecido un enigma aquella criatura de fuerza animal y aspecto de hombre civilizado.
—Todo esto me resulta familiar —dijo Anthony por fin, y su voz conllevaba una nota de júbilo que hipnotizó a Candy—. Apostaría un millón de dólares a que hay un columpio de cuerda por aquí, una enorme roca y una poza.
—No tienes un millón de dólares —le dijo ella mirándolo a los labios.
—En ese caso, si me equivoco, denúnciame —respondió Anthony bajando los ojos.
Se mantuvieron la mirada. A Candy le latió el corazón con fuerza debido a la proximidad de sus rostros. Parpadeó un par de veces y él volvió a sonreír antes de depositarla en el suelo con suavidad.
El río tenía unos tres metros de ancho; y tal como Anthony había supuesto, había unas rocas rodeando una poza. Colgando de la rama de un árbol suspendida sobre una de las rocas había un columpio de cuerda.
Anthony se sentó en el columpio. El árbol crujió ligeramente, pero soportó su peso. Después, clavó los ojos en la poza.
—No se puede ver el fondo —dijo él.
—¿Cómo es de profundo?
—Solo hay una forma de averiguarlo —respondió Anthony quitándose los zapatos.
—No estarás pensando lo que creo que estás pensando, ¿verdad?
—Creo que sí —respondió él mientras se quitaba los calcetines.
—La doctora ha dicho que tengas cuidado con la cabeza.
Anthony le lanzó una intensa mirada, que volvió a hacerla perder el sentido.
—¿Sabes una cosa, Candy ? A veces, lo más prudente es hacer justo lo menos prudente.
—Lo que quiere decir...
—Que al demonio con los médicos.
—Si te ahogas, no cuentes conmigo para que te salve.
—De acuerdo.
Candy encontró una piedra en la que sentarse y desde allí vio a Anthony quitarse los pantalones, la camisa y la corbata de cincuenta dólares. Se quedó en calzoncillos y Candy hizo lo posible por no quedárselo mirando.
—Te he pillado mirándome —dijo él.
—Siempre has sido un exhibicionista.
—¿En serio? ¿Lo ves? Poco a poco estoy descubriéndome a mí mismo.
Con cuidado, Anthony se bajó de la piedra hasta el agua. Después de meterse hasta las rodillas, se sumergió. Y cuando Anthony salió de nuevo a la superficie, sonriendo traviesamente, Candy le devolvió la sonrisa.
Trató de no pensar en lo absurdo de gustarle aquel nuevo Anthony.
En cuestión de segundos, Anthony estaba de nuevo encima de la piedra. Una vez más, Candy trató de desviar la mirada.
Con los ojos fijos en una hilera de hormigas, Candy dijo:
—Anthony, has sufrido una contusión. Tienes amnesia. ¿En serio crees que es prudente arriesgarte a darte un golpe en la cabeza?
—Puede que no —respondió él en el momento en que Candy levantaba los ojos.
Entonces, Anthony se agarró a la cuerda y, después de lanzar un grito, dio un salto y se tiró de cabeza a la poza. Candy lanzó un pequeño grito; después, se levantó y miró a la superficie del agua como si esperase encontrar allí flotando el cuerpo sin vida de Anthony. Pero lo encontró nadando hacia la orilla.
De no haber estado embarazada, se habría echado también al agua, con o sin traje de baño.
Y fue entonces cuando recordó quién era ese hombre. Era el hombre que la había acusado de hacer lo posible por obligarle a casarse con ella. Era el hombre del que no podía fiarse.
Y ella era la persona inadecuada para ayudarlo. Para ponerse bien, Anthony necesitaba que lo aceptaran por lo que era en aquellos momentos con el fin de des cubrir quién había sido. Sin embargo, con el fin de protegerse a sí misma y a su hijo, Candy necesitaba recordar quién había sido Anthony y quién volvería a ser.
Anthony necesitaba que lo ayudara alguien que no tu viera nada que perder, que no tuviera prejuicios ni motivos ulteriores. Ella debía marcharse.
Anthony subió a la piedra.
—¿Se le ocurrían... ideas extrañas al viejo Anthony... cuando se bañaba?
La suave y susurrante cualidad de la voz de Anthony no dejó lugar a dudas respecto a qué «ideas» se estaba refiriendo. Candy tembló y se negó a contestarle.
Anthony, a espaldas de ella, le besó el hombro. Sus labios parecieron quemarle un agujero en la blusa. Después, Anthony le levantó el cabello, despejándole la nuca, y la besó detrás de la oreja. Inmediatamente, las piernas de Candy temblaron.
Candy se dio media vuelta. Él la agarró por los brazos.
La besó. Sus labios mojados no enfriaron la fiera pasión que se había apoderado de él. Hacía meses que no se besaban, y a Candy le sorprendió descubrir que la magia no había desaparecido, sin todo lo contrario; si cabía, era más intensa. En el pasado, Anthony le había resultado sensual, excitante y algo intimidante. Ahora era todo eso y más.
Mucho más.
Candy se apartó de él.
Anthony le tocó la mejilla y se la quedó mirando a los ojos, y Candy se dio cuenta de que tenía que poner fin a aquello antes de dejarse arrastrar por sus propios sentimientos. Racionalizó que ese hombre era el viejo Anthony, que siempre conseguía lo que quería, sin preguntar. Y casi siempre se salía con la suya.
—Creo que es mejor que no vuelvas a besarme —dijo ella con calma.
—Nos hemos besado antes —respondió él con ojos brillantes.
—Sí, lo sé —Candy se dio una palmada en el vientre—. Y mira cómo he acabado.
—¿Estás contenta de ir a tener un niño, Candy?
—Sí.
—¿No te molesta demasiado que sea mi hijo?
—¿Cómo puede molestarme nada respecto a este niño?
—¿Es niño o niña?
—No lo sé.
—¿No te has hecho la prueba para saberlo?
—No. ¿Cómo sabes tú lo de la ecografía?
Anthony se encogió de hombros.
El gesto le hizo recordar a Candy que estaba casi desnudo.
Deseando cambiar de tema, Candy preguntó:
—¿Te ha ayudado en algo el baño en la poza?
—No.
—¿No has recordado nada?
Anthony se quedó contemplando el agua unos segundos.
—Es como si hubiera visto este sitio en un sueño.
—No te preocupes, tómate tu tiempo —dijo ella.
Entonces, tras asentir, Candy se apartó de él para dejarle vestirse en privado. Emprendió el ascenso por la colina con sus pensamientos por compañía.
**CONTINUARÁ...**
* * *
**UN ABRAZO EN LA DISTANCIA**
**LIZVET**
7. Chapter 7
**Capítulo 6**
Anthony no iba a confesárselo a Candy, pero la mañana le había agotado. Sin que ella lo viera, se tomó dos aspirinas. De camino a la escuela universitaria, Candy no parecía animada a hablar, cosa que no molestó a Anthony, ya que le dolía la cabeza.
De repente, se encontró pensando en la casa victoriana donde estaba su despacho. Necesitaba ir allí y que darse una hora o dos. Podría sentarse en su escritorio, si aún lo tenía, e intentar recordar lo que hacía. Quizá ver a sus compañeros de trabajo lo ayudara a recuperar la memoria. En cualquier caso, no le vendría mal.
Además, eso les tendría a él y a Candy separados durante un rato. No tenía idea de por qué la había despreciado antes, lo único que sabía era que estar en compañía suya le resultaba cada vez más problemático.
Candy era como una droga. Era suave y olía maravillosamente bien. Su pelo, de un centenar de tonos dorados, lo fascinaba. Le encantaban sus delgados y largos brazos. Se moría de ganas de verle los hombros desnudos. Tenía una garganta preciosa y una barbilla hecha para ser besada. Y los labios...
Pero era más que eso. Había sido sincero al decirle que la consideraba cariñosa, compasiva y divertida. Le encantaba el brillo que sus ojos adquirían cuando se enfadaba. Anthony sabía que le preocupaba lo que sentía por él.
Candy era una persona buena y decente, pensó Anthony.
Él debía haberle hecho la vida imposible, teniendo en cuenta la desconfianza que le tenía.
Sí, así había sido, ella misma se lo había dicho. Sin embargo, se había quedado con él para ayudarlo.
Deseó poder borrar el pasado de la memoria de Candy. Quería que ella lo viera tal y como era ahora. Pero Candy estaba anclada en el pasado y se defendía de él con uñas y dientes... No la culpaba...
No obstante, seguía muñéndose por tocarla. Candy le había dicho que no debían volver a besarse, lo que era ridículo. Habían nacido para estar juntos, lo sentía.
Anthony la miró de soslayo. Ella miraba hacia el frente y resultaba evidente que tenía problemas en controlar lo que sentía por él.
—Bueno, ya hemos llegado —dijo Candy aminorando la velocidad.
El campus estaba formado por tres edificios rodeados de árboles. Los edificios eran enormes, cuadrados, de ladrillos y con pequeñas ventanas. Había algunas estructuras de cemento más pequeñas y más nuevas salpicadas aquí y allá.
—Vamos a aparcar para salir a dar un paseo —dijo él.
Encontraron un sitio donde aparcar, a pesar de que la escuela impartía cursos de verano. Candy señaló un edificio al otro lado de la calle.
—Ahí está el club de estudiantes al que perteneces —dijo ella.
Anthony miró al letrero que había encuna de la puerta y el símbolo le resultó familiar. Estaba a punto de decirlo cuando se dio cuenta de que le resultaba familiar porque era el símbolo de su anillo de la fraternidad.
—¿No recuerdas nada? —preguntó ella.
—No.
Anthony cerró los ojos y se frotó la nuca mientras daba un par de pasos. Durante un segundo, pensó en el río y en la paz que allí había campo le traía tranquilidad. El agua fría, la imagen de Candy con sus misteriosos ojos verdes y su sonrisa... la madre de su hijo.
De nuevo, le asaltó la preocupación de que ella quisiera criar sola a su hijo. La miró. Candy estaba mirando al edificio, ensimismada en sus pensamientos.
—¿Qué planes tienes? —preguntó Anthony.
Ella volvió la cabeza hacia Anthony.
—¿Que qué planes tengo?
—Se me ha ocurrido que la verdad es que no sé nada sobre ti, Candy. Por ejemplo, ni siquiera sé dónde vives.
—Yo... ahora mismo no tengo casa —respondió ella.
—¿Por qué no?
—Porque dejé el piso que tenía alquilado justo cuando tú tuviste el accidente. Durante tu ingreso en el hospital, me quedé en casa de tus padres; ahora, estoy en tu casa.
—Que es donde debes estar —dijo él con firmeza.
—No.
—Pero el niño...
—No —repitió ella, lanzándole una fría mirada.
—También es hijo mío —añadió Anthony mientras se frotaba las sienes.
—Sí, lo sé.
—Entonces, si no quieres vivir conmigo, ¿dónde vas a vivir? Supongo que alquilarás algún sitio cerca de mi casa, ¿no?
—Te duele la cabeza. He traído unos calmantes...
—Deja de esquivar la pregunta.
—No sé lo que voy a hacer —contestó ella por fin.
—En ese caso, quédate conmigo —dijo Anthony con voz queda.
Candy volvió a echar a andar. Exasperado, Anthony la siguió.
La idea de que fuera a vivir con él, dado que no tenía casa, le parecía lo más lógico. ¿Por qué se negaba? ¿Y por qué había dejado su piso? El instinto le dijo que lo mejor era dejar el tema de momento.
—Te agradezco mucho que me estés ayudando —dijo Anthony.
Candy asintió sin mirarlo.
—No podría arreglármelas sin ti en estos momentos.
—Te las arreglarás.
—No.
Candy volvió a detenerse y lo miró.
—Anthony, tienes a tu familia. Cuando tus padres vuelvan, volverás a acostumbrarte a ellos. Tus padres son maravillosos, te ayudarán segura que no me necesitarás. Y cuando recuperes la memoria te darás cuenta porqué.
A Anthony le dio la impresión de que se estaba despidiendo de él dos semanas por adelantado.
—No conozco a mi familia, para mí son desconocidos.
—Dejarán de serlo pronto, ya lo verás.
—¿Y tu familia?
—La única familia que me queda es una tía y su marido en Springfield. Tienen una tienda pequeña de muebles.
—¿Vas a volver a la enseñanza después de que nazca el niño?
—De momento no. Tengo ahorrado el dinero suficiente para no tener que trabajar durante dos años, si tengo cuidado con el dinero. He engordado siete kilos en las últimas tres semanas. Tengo cuidado con la comida, no bebo alcohol y tampoco fumo. El único lujo que me permito es una taza de café al día. ¿Satisfecho? ¿Alguna pregunta más?
Anthony ignoró la ironía, consciente de que el viejo Anthony se lo merecía.
—¿Cuándo tienes que volver al ginecólogo?
—Tengo una cita dentro de una semana y media.
—¿Me dejarás que te acompañe?
Ella vaciló.
—Por favor...
—Es... complicado —contestó Candy por fin.
—¿Por qué?
—Déjame que lo piense.
—¿Qué es lo que tienes que pensar?
Candy sacudió la cabeza. Se la veía incómoda.
—Lo único que quiero es que sepas que estoy decidido a ayudarte, tanto económicamente como en cual quier otra forma.
—No quiero parecer desagradecida, Anthony, pero puedo cuidar de mí misma.
—Pero el niño...
—No te preocupes por el niño, también cuidaré de él. Ya te he dicho que rompimos hace meses. No importa lo que sientas en estos momentos, la realidad es que tú no querías tener un hijo y, cuando recuperes la memoria, volverás a rechazarlo.
—Candy...
—Y sí sigues insistiendo al respecto, me marcharé. Anthony decidió no presionarla más.
—¿Tienes hambre?
—Sí.
—Hay una cafetería aquí. ¿Te apetecen unas verduras grisáceas con una carne verdosa?
Anthony le lanzó una mirada penetrante.
—¿Te acuerdas de que la comida aquí es horrible?
—¿No lo es?
—Lo era cuando vine, pero ¿cómo lo sabes tú?
—Por el olor que hay en todo el campus.
—Quizá comer aquí te ayude a recordar —dijo ella.
—Quizá sea un recuerdo del que podría prescindir —añadió Anthony.
Candy pidió ensalada de fruta, pensando que no podían hacer gran cosa por estropearla. Anthony intentó comerse un bocadillo de pollo, pero no dejaba de frotarse la cabeza y la nuca.
Candy pensó que debería haber buscado la manera de evitarle tanto ejercicio aquella mañana.
Al pinchar una fresa con el tenedor, oyó a alguien pronunciar su nombre y vio a un viejo amigo acercán dose a su mesa. Tom Stevens Johnson, ignorando a Anthony, le tomó la mano.
—Candy —dijo Tom con cariño; después, se agachó para besarla en la cabeza.
Hacía meses que Candy no veía a Tom. Habían sido compañeros en un cursillo sobre psicología infantil y habían salido juntos un par de veces después de que ella rompiera con Anthony y antes de descubrir que estaba embarazada.
Candy dio una palmada en el banco en el que estaba sentada, indicándole que se sentara a su lado.
—No sabes cuánto me alegra volver a verte —dijo Tom—. Ya he oído que vas a tener un niño.
—Yo también me alegro de verte.
—Te he llamado, pero tienes el teléfono desconectado.
—Me he... mudado —respondió ella, evitando más explicaciones.
Anthony se aclaró la garganta y Candy hizo las presentaciones, esperando que Tom no mencionara sus planes de ir a vivir a Springfield. Después de la ruptura con Anthony, Tom se había convertido en su amigo de confianza; y debido a lo que sabía sobre ella, su actitud hacia Anthony era fría.
Candy sintió un gran alivio cuando Tom, por fin, se dispuso a marcharse ya que tenía una cita.
Tom se puso en pie y, con mirada tierna, le dijo a Candy:
—Candy, no lo olvides, cuenta conmigo para lo que tú o el niño necesitéis.
—Gracias, Tom.
—Me tiene a mí —declaró Anthony con firmeza.
Tom frunció el ceño.
—Entiendo.
Poniéndose en pie, Anthony anunció:
—Admito que he cometido errores imperdonables, pero Candy me tiene para lo que quiera. Los dos, ella y el niño.
—Supongo que siempre hay una primera vez —murmuró Tom.
—Por favor... —dijo Candy.
Tom se quedó mirando a Anthony un momento, antes de volverse a Candy sonriendo.
—Está bien, ángel.
"¿¡_Angel!?"_
Tom se agachó, le dio un beso en la mejilla y se marchó.
—¿Ángel? —repitió Anthony—. ¿A qué se ha debido eso?
—Ya te he dicho que es un amigo.
—Candy...
—No empieces. Yo también tengo amigos. Y, por favor, ni una palabra más sobre este asunto.
—Está bien, lo acepto. Pero tú también tienes que aceptar que lo que he dicho es la verdad.
Anthony, con el ceño fruncido, bajó la mirada hacia su plato. Candy ya no tenía ganas de seguir comiendo. Ir a la cafetería había sido una mala idea.
Candy estaba doblando su servilleta cuando una mujer de unos sesenta años, que llevaba una bandeja con un plato con ensalada de fruta igual al que Candy había pedido, se detuvo al pasar por su mesa.
—¿Albert Andley? —dijo la mujer con voz esperanzada.
Candy gruñó para sí. Primero Tom, ahora esa mujer que acababa de dejar a Anthony con expresión de sentirse apuñalado.
—No, lo siento.
—Entonces, eres Anthony —dijo la mujer cambiando el tono de voz—. Jamás habría imaginado que volverías al campus.
Anthony apartó el plato.
—Tengo entendido que ejerces la abogacía en Chicagoport. ¿Cómo está Albert?
Anthony miró a Candy antes de contestar.
—Lo siento, pero he sufrido un accidente y... ¿La conozco?
El rostro de la mujer mostró una súbita preocupación.
—Oh, Dios mío.
—El accidente ocurrió hace poco, este mismo verano —añadió Anthony.
—Soy Ponny Platt. Soy profesora de Historia aquí, y os tuve a ti y a tu hermano en mí clase.
—Ah.
—¿Cómo está Albert? Siento una gran admiración por tu hermano. Sé que ahora vive en California, lo que es una pena, ya que no le veo nunca.
—La verdad es que...
La mujer, ignorando la interrupción de Anthony, continuó:
—Sin embargo, me envía una tarjeta de felicitación por Navidad todos los años. Es un hombre encantador. Siempre supe que sería la clase de abogado que defiende los intereses de los más necesitados —la mujer le dio a Anthony una palmada en el hombro—. Por supuesto, no estoy diciendo que esté mal defender también a los delincuentes. En este país, todo el mundo es inocente hasta que no se demuestre lo contrario. Naturalmente, muchos abogados no quieren enterarse de la verdad porque ello podría disminuir su capacidad de dejar que cualquier monstruo se libre con una sentencia leve.
La mujer hizo una pausa antes de añadir:
—Por supuesto, no me estoy refiriendo a ti.
—Señora Platt...
—Lo único que digo es que Albert es especial. Siempre supe que haría cosas maravillosas en la vida.
—¡Señora Platt! —dijo Anthony alzando la voz.
Ella parpadeó.
—¿Qué ocurre?
—Albert murió en el accidente que me ha dejado a mí con amnesia.
La señora Platt se quedó perpleja.
—¿Que Albert... ha muerto?
—Sí —respondió Anthony—. Lo siento.
La mujer, murmurando, se disculpó al tiempo que se secaba las lágrimas. Después, se alejó de allí para dirigirse al rincón del fondo de la cafetería.
Anthony miró a Candy con profunda tristeza. Candy abrió su bolso y sacó un pequeño tubo marrón que dejó delante de Anthony.
—Me parece que deberías tomarte un calmante. Sin pronunciar palabra, Anthony sacó del tubo una pastilla y se la tragó con un vaso de agua.
—Creo que será mejor que nos vayamos ya —dijo ella.
—Sí —contestó Anthony.
Mientras caminaban hacia el coche, a Candy le pareció casi imposible creer que solo hacía tres horas Anthony había estado disfrutando en la poza del río.
Una vez en el coche, Anthony se durmió casi al instante, dejando a Candy a solas con sus inquietantes pensamientos. A Candy se le pasó por la cabeza lle varlo al hospital, pero decidió no hacerlo. Quizá lo que Anthony necesitara fueran unas horas de descanso y menos actividad.
Ella, por su parte, debería estar en Springfield, en vez de allí, comprando papel para empapelar el cuarto del niño. Gracias a sus tíos, la decisión de marcharse de Lakewood y alejarse de Anthony le había resultado más llevadera. El dinero ahorrado le daría para vivir dos años, quizá tres si tenía cuidado.
Ahí era donde debería estar en esos momentos, pensando en patos amarillos y tortugas verdes. Debería estar aprendiendo a tejer. Debería estar ayudando a su tía a tapizar la mecedora de su abuela y a plantar flores en el jardín. Debería estar en casa, preparando su hogar, preparándose a sí misma.
Anthony se despertó al alcanzar las afueras de Chicagoport. Se sentía atontado y sediento, pero ya no le dolía la cabeza. Se incorporó en el asiento y miró a Candy, que le devolvió la mirada con el ceño fruncido.
—¿Cómo te encuentras?
—Mucho mejor —respondió él—. Me parece que hoy me he excedido.
—Desde luego.
—Pero prometo que no voy a quejarme.
—No te has quejado. Tu imagen de macho está a salvo.
—¿Tan importante es para mí mi imagen de macho?
—Anthony, si quieres que te diga la verdad, creo que es importante para la mayoría de los hombres.
—¿Incluso para Stevens?
—Incluso para Stevens.
Anthony miró por la ventanilla cuando el olor a mar se hizo más fuerte. Aquella era su ciudad natal y, en algún recóndito lugar de su ser, debía reconocer los árboles, las gaviotas y el olor de la bahía. En algún recóndito lugar de su ser, debía sentirse a salvo allí. ¿Cómo llegar a ese recóndito lugar de su psique?
Desde luego, no creía que lo consiguiera hablando con viejas profesoras. Le había dejado mal sabor de boca que la señora Platt se enterara de la muerte de Albert de manera tan brusca; sin embargo, sus palabras y su actitud hacia él habían sido crueles. No obstante, de nuevo le entristeció la idea de que la gente tuviera tan mala opinión de él.
Justo en ese momento, Anthony vio un edificio bajo encima del acantilado que daba a la bahía. El letrero del aparcamiento estaba cubierto con pimientos de neón de colores rojo, amarillo y naranja.
—Para ahí —dijo él.
Candy hizo lo que él le pidió.
—¿Qué pasa?
—Puede que no sea nada; pero, en el libro que estoy leyendo, hay una servilleta de papel con el nombre de ese establecimiento.
Candy miró el letrero.
—¿Pepper's Place?
—Hemos venido aquí juntos alguna vez.
—No.
—¿Por qué no?
—Porque no me invitaste a venir.
—¿Por qué no? ¿Lo sabes?
Ella lo miró de una forma que Anthony había empezado a interpretar correctamente y que significaba que Candy tenía algo desagradable que decir.
—Vamos, Candy, dímelo.
Candy encogió los hombros y apartó la mirada de él.
—Por lo que he oído, este es uno de los sitios a los que venías a ligar.
Anthony se quedó contemplando el edificio. Solo eran las cuatro de la tarde, por lo que no había muchos coches en el aparcamiento.
—Supongo que será mejor que entremos.
—Yo no.
—¿Por qué no?
—Debe haber el humo suficiente ahí dentro para sofocar a un elefante. Prefiero esperarte aquí.
—¿En serio no te importa?
—No. Vamos, ve.
Cuando Anthony entró en el establecimiento, lo primero que vio fue pósters de diferentes salsas picantes decorando las paredes. La barra estaba al fondo. Una pista de baile interrumpía la alfombra roja. Sentados en torno a una mesa pequeña había dos personas agarradas de la mano. Las otras mesas estaban vacías.
Se sentó en un taburete delante de la barra. En un extremo había una mujer encendiendo un cigarrillo, y otros dos hombres veían un partido de béisbol por tele visión, aunque el sonido estaba apagado.
El camarero, que estaba secando unos vasos, se volvió. Al ver a Anthony, una sonrisa iluminó su rostro.
—¡Anthony! —dijo el camarero acercándose a él con una mano extendida—. Cuánto me alegro de verte, amigo.
Anthony estrechó la mano del camarero.
El hombre tenía unos treinta años, era alto y su rostro lucía un bigote negro.
—Yo también me alegro de verte... —contestó Anthony.
El camarero arqueó las cejas.
—Tim. Tim Swope. ¿No te acuerdas de mí? Tú eres Anthony Andley, ¿verdad?
—Sí, encantado de volverte a ver, Tim. He tenido un accidente automovilístico y la memoria... me falla un poco.
—Hombre, lo siento. ¿Quieres lo de siempre?
—¿Una margarita?
—Sí, ahora mismo te la preparo. Eh, a propósito, ahí tienes a una vieja amiga tuya. Elisa ha estado preguntando por ti.
Tim indicó con la cabeza a la mujer en el extremo de la barra.
—No me acuerdo de ella y ahora tampoco me apetece beber, Tim. ¿Tienes té frío?
—Supongo que siempre hay una primera vez para todo.
—¿Con qué frecuencia venía aquí? —le preguntó Anthony a Tim cuando este depositó un vaso de té frío en la barra.
Anthony se dio cuenta de que Elisa se había levantado de su taburete.
—Todos los sábados por la noche, como un reloj.
—Debo haber pasado aquí muy buenos ratos.
—Los mejores —contestó Tim guiñándole un ojo.
Detrás de la barra, en la pared, había una colección de fotografías. Tim le indicó una. Anthony se vio a sí mismo entre dos hermosas mujeres.
—Esperaba que entrar aquí me ayudara a recordar cosas —dijo Anthony.
En ese momento, sintió una mano en el brazo.
—Quizá yo pueda ayudarte. Me he enterado de lo que te ha pasado —dijo Elisa mientras daba una calada a su cigarrillo—. Me lo contó Stear. Stear ahora trabaja en Bridgeville de bombero, conduciendo un remolque. Fue Stear quien os sacó a ti y a tu hermano del coche. Me dijo que tienes amnesia.
—Está bien informado —contestó Anthony.
—Claro que lo está, Stear conoce a Jerry Hill. Jerry es el policía que se encarga de tu caso. Jerry me ha estado haciendo preguntas sobre ti. Stear me dijo que nunca había visto tanta sangre en un accidente, también me dijo que tu hermano tenía la cara destrozada...
—Por favor, no sigas —le interrumpió Anthony.
Elisa encogió los hombros y Anthony la miró con más detenimiento. Tenía una melena pelirroja que le llegaba a la altura de la barbilla, iba muy maquillada, con los finos labios cubiertos de carmín rojo. Era una mujer atractiva, pero no era guapa; tampoco era sana y cautivadora como... Candy. A juzgar por cómo se le había agarrado al brazo, eran más que amigos. Anthony se preguntó de qué manera podía pedirle que dejara de soplarle humo a la cara sin parecer un grosero.
Aplastando el cigarrillo en el cenicero, Elisa se lo quedó mirando y dijo:
—¿Por qué no vamos a tu casa? Como tienes amnesia, sería como la primera vez.
—Ahora no vivo solo.
—¿Y?
—No creo que a ella le gustara.
—En ese caso, ¿por qué no vamos a mi casa?
—La verdad es que la mujer con la que estoy viviendo está embarazada. No quiero dejarla para salir con otra.
Elisa empequeñeció los ojos.
—Has cambiado.
—Eso espero. Al menos, lo estoy intentando.
—No te esfuerces demasiado, me gustabas como eras —dijo Elisa con una sonrisa—. Bueno, ¿vas a decirme quién es la afortunada?
—Se llama Candy —nada más contestar, Anthony se preguntó si había sido prudente mencionar el nombre de ella.
—¿La maestra esa de la que me hablaste? Así que, por fin, te ha pescado, ¿eh?
—¿Que me ha pescado?
—Sí. Ya te advertí que tuvieras cuidado, esa clase de mujeres siempre se quedan embarazadas para atrapar a un tipo.
—¿Quién le ha pescado? —preguntó Tim mientras volvía a llenar el vaso de Anthony de té.
—La maestra con la que Anthony salió un tiempo está embarazada.
—Eh, Anthony, ten cuidado. Tengo un amigo al que le hizo lo mismo la chica con la que salió, y luego resultó que el hijo ni siquiera era suyo.
Anthony miró a uno y luego al otro. El dolor de cabeza le había vuelto cuando oyó mencionar el nombre del detective Hill; y ahora, con la charla sobre Candy, sentía como si fuera a estallarle la tapa de los sesos.
Anthony se sacó un par de dólares del bolsillo, todo el dinero que llevaba consigo, y los puso encima de la barra.
—Anímate, hombre —le dijo Elisa cuando Anthony se dispuso a marcharse.
—¿Vamos a verte el sábado por la noche? —le gritó Tim cuando Anthony llegó a la puerta.
Pero lo único que Anthony quería era salir de allí.
—¿Qué tal? —le preguntó Candy cuando Anthony se reunió con ella en el coche.
Como él no contestó inmediatamente, Candy empequeñeció los ojos y añadió:
—¿Te encuentras bien?
Durante unos momentos, Anthony se limitó a mirarla. Al enterarse de que había traicionado la confianza de Candy contándole a Elisa y al camarero cosas privadas sobre ella, Anthony estuvo más seguro que nunca de que no se merecía sus atenciones; sin embargo, Candy le estaba ofreciendo su apoyo. ¿Estaría dispuesta a perdonarlo?
Anthony le puso una mano en la mejilla, maravillándose de la suavidad de su piel.
Candy parpadeó.
—¿Que ha pasado ahí dentro?
—Lo de siempre desde que empezó esta pesadilla —respondió Anthony con voz ronca, emocionado derrepente—. Candy, tengo que hacerte una pregunta. ¿Puedes perdonarme? ¿Me perdonarás?
Ella pareció quedarse perpleja.
—¿Perdonarte qué?
Anthony tomó las dos manos de ella en las suyas.
—Lo que te he hecho en el pasado.
Como respuesta, Candy sonrió amargamente.
—Lo que estoy tratando de decir, Candy, es que lo siento.
Ella se mordió los labios. Anthony aprovechó la oportunidad y abrió los brazos, instándola a que aceptara su abrazo.
Candy acudió a él de propia voluntad, con una confianza en Anthony que este no se merecía, pero que era lo que más deseaba en el mundo.
—Gracias —le susurró Anthony al oído. .
* * *
Más tarde, por la noche, sentada al lado de Anthony en el sofá blanco, Candy abrió el primer álbum de fotos que Pauna le había dado. Guardaba silencio mientras Anthony miraba las fotos que retrataban una parte de la historia de su familia, desde la boda de sus padres a los dos gemelos de pequeños. —
Las fotos mostraban una crónica de las vidas de los gemelos al igual que de la de su hermano mayor, Terrence. Candy los vio en los brazos de su madre, montando a caballo sobre las espaldas de su padre. Los vio dando los primeros pasos y sentados en sillas altas. Y el parecido de ambos le sorprendió tanto como la primera vez que los vio juntos.
Si tenía un hijo, ¿sería como ellos? Miró con intensidad los pequeños rostros en el álbum de fotos, los azules y traviesos ojos y las regordetas mejillas.
El álbum siguiente contenía fotos de la niñez de los chicos: delante de la parada del autobús el primer día de colegio, con dos cachorros de perro en los brazos, posando con bates de béisbol y montando en bicicleta.
Ya en el instituto, las fotos de los gemelos juntos eran más escasas. Había fotos de Anthony, cuidadosamente marcadas, jugando al béisbol; y fotos de Albert haciendo lo mismo. Pero jugaban en equipos diferentes, como mostraban las diferentes camisetas que llevaban.
Solo quedaban dos álbumes más, pero cuando Candy se puso el penúltimo encima de las piernas,
Anthony le puso la mano en la suya para evitar que lo abriera.
—Dejémoslo para mañana —dijo Anthony con voz cansada—. Me parece que no me han ayudado mucho.
—Según los doctores, recuperar la memoria quizá te lleve un tiempo —dijo Candy dejando el álbum encima de una mesa de centro.
Anthony apoyó la cabeza en el respaldo del sofá. Había estado muy callado toda la tarde, ensimismado en unos pensamientos que no parecía inclinado a compartir.
—Vas a tener un niño precioso, Candy White —dijo Anthony de repente. Después, le puso la mano en el vientre—. ¿Lo has sentido moverse ya?
—Sí —susurró ella—. Hace ya bastante que lo siento.
—¿Crees que podría notar yo sus movimientos?
—Me parece que ahora está durmiendo —comentó Anthony con voz ahogada.
—Podríamos despertarlo —dijo Anthony inclinándose sobre ella con los ojos fijos en los suyos.
Esta vez, cuando sus labios se unieron, Candy se negó a pensar. Abrió la boca y sintió la lengua de Anthony en la suya, y el mundo adquirió una maravillosa cualidad. Sintió la mano de Anthony moverse debajo de su blusa de maternidad. Se oyó a sí misma gimiendo y cerró los ojos. Anthony le tocó los pechos por encima del sujetador y un incontrolable deseo se apoderó de ella.
Despacio, poco a poco, Candy recuperó la razón. Besar a Anthony era como una erupción volcánica; sin embargo, con suavidad, le puso las manos en el pecho y le obligó a apartarse de ella.
—Sé que te quería —dijo Anthony con voz ronca, acariciándole una ceja mientras pronunciaba aquellas palabras.
Anthony le besó la mejilla, los labios y la garganta.
«Y yo te quiero a ti, pero no puedo decirlo; ni ahora, ni nunca». De repente, Candy sintió una profunda tristeza,
—No te resistas a lo que sientes —le susurró Anthony al oído.
Candy decidió que lo que necesitaba era una dosis de realidad, tanto por sí misma como por él. Zafándose de los brazos de Anthony, murmuró:
—Ya te lo he dicho, Anthony, tú no estabas realmente enamorado de mí.
—No te creo.
—Es la verdad. Cuando te enteraste de que estaba embarazada, te enfadaste mucho.
Anthony se recostó en el respaldo del asiento.
—¿Es por eso por lo que Albert y yo íbamos juntos en el coche la tarde del accidente?
—No lo sé —respondió ella en forma evasiva.
Aquella pregunta podía inducir a revelar que Anthony era el conductor del vehículo. Candy se puso en pie bruscamente y puso los álbumes de fotos uno encima de otro, le temblaba todo el cuerpo.
Anthony se enderezó en su asiento y la penetró con la mirada.
—¿No es extraño que nos marcháramos así de la boda de Terrence? ¿Y por qué el detective Hill va haciendo preguntas por ahí sobre mí?
Candy se quedó helada al oírle mencionar el nombre del policía.
—¿El detective Hill? ¿Por qué dices que ha estado haciendo preguntas por ahí sobre ti?
—Lo ha mencionado una persona en Pepper's Place —contestó Anthony.
—Debe ser algo que la policía hace por rutina cuando hay un accidente.
Anthony se levantó y se plantó delante de ella.
—Candy, ¿te quedaste embarazada a propósito para obligarme a casarme contigo?
—No, claro que no. ¿De dónde has sacado esa idea?
—Eso no importa.
—¿Te has acordado de cuando hablaste conmigo en la boda de Terrence?
Anthony se quedó atónito.
—¿Me dijiste que estabas embarazada en la boda de mi hermano?
—Sí.
—¿Y yo te acusé de querer pescarme?
—Sí. ¿Quién te lo ha dicho?
—Me lo ha dicho una persona en el Pepper's.
—¿Quién?
—Una mujer.
—Ya.
Eso significaba que, antes de enterarse de que Candy estaba embarazada, él le había dicho a Elisa que una maestra quería atraparlo.
—¿Y la has creído? —preguntó Candy.
—No sé qué creer.
De repente, Candy se vio presa de una profunda angustia. El viejo Anthony volvía a salir a la superficie.
Anthony fue quien interrumpió unos momentos de in cómodo silencio.
—Voy a hacerme una tortilla, ¿te apetece una a ti también?
Candy asintió, pero lo que realmente quería era la ternura que había sentido en él al mediodía. Con pesar, se dio cuenta de que no estaba consiguiendo protegerse a sí misma de lo que él la hacía sentir, y se juró a sí misma tener más cuidado.
* * *
UN ABRAZO EN LA DISTANCIA
LIZVET
8. Chapter 8
**Capítulo 7**
NOCHE tras noche, Anthony tenía el mismo sueño: estaba solo, corriendo; después, se hacía de no che y estaba conduciendo un coche. Poco a poco, se daba cuenta de que había otra persona en el coche y se volvía para mirarla; pero lo único que veía era un espejo.
Era entonces cuando se despertaba, con la respiración entrecortada y presa del pánico. Poco a poco, el miedo se disipaba.
Igual que aquella mañana...
El sonido del agua al correr era algo a lo que aferrarse. Al cabo de unos momentos, se dio cuenta de que provenía del baño de invitados, por lo que supuso que Candy se estaba dando una ducha. Inmediatamente, pensó en sus pesados senos y sus redondea das caderas, y en el cada vez más abultado vientre.
Era su hijo, ¿no?
Durante días, la advertencia del camarero del Pipper resonaba en su cerebro. Intentaba no pensar en ello; sin embargo, no podía evitar recordar al amigo de Candy, Stevens. Pensaba en la forma como la había mirado, en cómo la había besado. Eso lo estaba volviendo loco.
Anthony se dio cuenta de que había aceptado sin más la declaración de Candy de que el hijo era suyo.
Sin embargo, ¿por qué iba a mentir, cuando no dejaba de repetirle que no estaba interesada en él?
No, Candy White no tenía motivos para mentirle respecto a la paternidad del niño.
Además, ¿qué importaba? Lo que sentía por ella no tenía nada que ver con su embarazo.
Sentándose en la cama, se pasó una mano por el cabello. Llevaba una semana paseándose por la casa, oyendo música y leyendo, nada más. Candy, por el contrario, era toda actividad: le organizaba la casa, preparaba deliciosas comidas y, por las tardes, se sentaba en el sofá a tejer y a bordar.
Fueron al hospital un par de veces para que los médicos lo examinaran; después, fueron a hacer la compra. Pero con lo que Anthony disfrutaba más era con sus conversaciones.
Candy había estado enamorada de él, eso era evidente. Y si había estado enamorada de él en el pasado, podría volver a amarlo.
Terrence les había ido a visitar dos veces: la primera, solo; la segunda, con su mujer, Susana. Ninguna de las dos visitas le había activado la memoria.
Candy estaba haciendo grandes esfuerzos por disimular el hecho de que estaba enloqueciendo. Sabía que aquella tranquila semana estaba siendo beneficiosa para Anthony, pero muy difícil para ella.
Había estado a punto, al menos una docena de ve ces, de hacer las maletas y marcharse. Y una docena de veces había imaginado la expresión de los ojos de Anthony al darse cuenta de que ella se había marchado. Era eso lo que había impedido hacerlo.
—¿Estás segura de que no quieres pomelo? —preguntó Anthony mientras ella, al otro lado de la mesa, bebía su necesaria taza de café.
Candy alzó los ojos. Después de unos días de descanso, le extrañó que aquella mañana Anthony pareciera más cansado que nunca. También notó que le había crecido el pelo, ahora le tapaba la nuca y le caía por la frente. Necesitaba un corte de pelo urgentemente, algo que antes nunca le habría ocurrido.
Sus facciones se estaban haciendo cada vez más angulares, quizá porque no comía lo suficiente. Candy le había oído dar vueltas en la cama la noche anterior.
Aquella mañana, la miraba con expresión de preocupación. Y esa expresión de preocupación le daba un atractivo sensual que Candy, con firmeza, se propuso ignorar.
—Sí, ya sé que a ti te gusta el pomelo —dijo ella.
—Me gustaba, ya no me gusta —contestó él apartando el plato.
Candy decidió sacar un tema que mencionaba todas las mañanas.
—Tus padres van a volver pronto, supongo que deberíamos ver los dos álbumes de fotos que nos faltan.
—Hoy tienes una cita con el ginecólogo.
—Sí, pero es al mediodía —respondió ella, preguntándose qué iba a hacer para evitar que Anthony la acompañara.
Al parecer, no iba a poder conseguirlo. Anthony estaba decidido a ir con ella; y, en parte, Candy quería que lo hiciera. El problema era que tenía que explicarle lo que había contado en la clínica, cosa que ahora le parecía una verdadera estupidez.
Quizá estuvieran demasiado ocupados para charlar; sobre todo, la parlanchina recepcionista.
Candy tocó madera.
—Me dijiste que podía acompañarte. No vas a echarte atrás ahora, ¿verdad?
—No sabía que hubiera accedido —respondió ella.
—No explícitamente, pero...
—Te aburrirías mucho.
—No.
—Pero...
—Nada de disculpas. Para mí es importante. Hoy la cita con el ginecólogo, y la semana que viene la visita a mi despacho. Y si no logro recuperarl a memoria, me contentaré con empezar una nueva vida con lo que tengo ahora
—Bueno, respecto a las fotografías...
—No.
Eso era lo que Anthony decía todos los días y ella no lo presionaba. Sin embargo, ese día, cambió de actitud.
—¿Por qué no? Las más recientes...
—Las fotos más recientes están llenas de personas desconocidas.
—Esas personas son tu familia...
—Exacto.
Anthony puso los codos en la mesa y, entrelazando los dedos, apoyó la barbilla en las manos. Después, con la mirada, clavó a Candy en sus silla.
—Hay algo que llevo tiempo queriendo decirte. Candy gruñó para sí misma.
—Cuando te besé la otra noche, tú también me besaste —añadió él.
Candy había esperado que le hubiera dicho algo respecto a la visita al ginecólogo, no que le hablara de besos.
—No, no lo hice.
—No me mientas, Candy.
—Anthony...
—Ya tengo bastantes problemas como para tener que aguantar mentiras.
Candy se mordió los labios, sabía que Anthony tenía razón.
—Está bien, no te mentiré. Sí, es verdad, yo también te besé.
—¿Por qué?
Candy dejó la taza de café en la mesa. ¿Necesitaba preguntarlo? ¿Acaso él no se veía a sí mismo reflejado en sus ojos, como le ocurría a ella? ¿No la había sorprendido mirándolo fijamente, permaneciendo a su lado, muy cerca, cuando hacían algo como fregar los cacharros o doblar la ropa? ¿No se había dado cuenta de que contenía la respiración cada vez que la tocaba?
¿Y no se había dado cuenta del esfuerzo desesperado que estaba haciendo para ignorar lo que sentía por él?
—Siempre has logrado afectarme... físicamente.
—Entonces, ¿lo que hay entre nosotros es solo físico?
—Sí.
—¿No sientes nada por mí?
—Naturalmente que sí.
—¿Pero no me amas?
—Claro que no —respondió ella automáticamente, porque no tenía otro remedio.
Pero la mentira la hizo sentirse culpable, acababa de prometerle que no le mentiría. Sin embargo, ¿de qué serviría decirle que había vuelto a enamorarse de él?
Este nuevo Anthony seguía siendo divertido, atento, atractivo e increíblemente sensual. Sin embargo, ahora era un hombre más complejo que antes. Era más considerado. Con más sentido común.
Anthony se estaba transformando en el hombre que Candy, en el pasado, había pensado que era. Y lo que sentía por él ahora era muy profundo.
—¿Y si te dijera que lo que siento por ti no es solo físico,Candy, sino algo más intenso, más profundo?
Candy cerró los ojos. ¿Estaba diciéndole que la amaba? ¿Cuántas veces había soñado con ese momento? Abrió los ojos de nuevo y le sorprendió contemplándola.
—En realidad, ahora, es como si solo me conocieras de unas semanas. Soy la única persona a la que has visto y con la que has hablado con regularidad desde que saliste del coma. No estás en condiciones de juzgar objetivamente tus sentimientos, ¿no te das cuenta?
—¿Conocías a Albert? —preguntó Anthony de súbito.
—Solo lo vi una vez.
—¿Cómo era?
—Hablamos solo unos minutos. Parecía cariñoso, simpático y sumamente amable.
—Y yo soy el monstruo —dijo Anthony amargamente.
—No eres un monstruo, Anthony. Ya no lo eres.
—Pero tienes miedo de que, al recobrar la memoria, vuelva a ser el monstruo que era antes.
—Sí, es verdad que tengo miedo. Por eso es por lo que creo que sería mejor que otra persona...
—No.
—Entonces, puede que si viéramos el siguiente álbum...
Anthony levantó una mano y, con una sonrisa irresistible y natural, dijo:
—No, por favor, nada de fotos.
—En ese caso, ¿qué te parece si fuéramos a casa de Terrence? Mientras estabas en la ducha, ha llamado para invitarnos.
Anthony se encogió de hombros.
—No conozco a Terrence.
—Es tu hermano.
—Lo sé.
—Quizá pudieras...
—¿Dónde me crié?
—En una casa a unos tres kilómetros de aquí.
—¿Existe todavía la casa?
—Sí.
—¿Nos daría tiempo a pasarnos por la casa antes de la visita al ginecólogo?
—Sí.
En esta ocasión, Anthony insistió en conducir. Candy le indicó el camino y, al cabo de unos minutos, aparcaron el coche delante de una casa de dos pisos con la fachada pintada de amarillo. El jardín delantero estaba delimitado por una pequeña valla de madera pintada de blanco. Un rosal trepador subía por una esquina de la casa, y tres pilares soportaban el peso de un pequeño tejado encima de la puerta, en el porche. La puerta delantera era negra, con una ven tana ovalada.
—Bonita casa —comentó Anthony. A su lado, Candy asintió.
—A tu madre le encantaba esta casa.
—¿Por qué la vendieron mis padres?
—Porque para tu padre era excesivo el trabajo de mantenimiento.
—¿Por el corazón?
—¿Lo sabes?
—Pauna me lo dijo antes de marcharse a San Francisco. Creo que se sentía culpable por dejarme.
—Tu madre es una mujer maravillosa.
—Eso no puedo saberlo —respondió Anthony, y le sorprendió oír la dureza de su voz—. Pero sí, lo parece.
En ese momento, un niño y una mujer con una cesta de jardinería en la mano doblaron una esquina de la casa. La mujer, al verlos, cruzó el césped para acercarse a ellos, el niño se le adelantó.
—¿Se les ofrece algo?
—Estábamos viendo su casa, es muy bonita —dijo Anthony.
—Y tiene usted un jardín precioso —añadió Candy.
El niño se abrazó a las piernas de su madre y se quedó mirando a Candy.
—La verdad es que el jardín estaba ya así cuando compramos la casa. La anterior dueña plantó todas las plantas perennes, los rosales y los árboles de la parte de atrás del jardín. Era una gran jardinera.
—Sí —murmuró Anthony.
—Y debería ver la casa por dentro. A pesar de tener tres hijos, los tres chicos, la casa está decorada como las que salen en las revistas de decoración; bueno, lo estaba hasta que nació Alex.
La mujer miró sonriendo a su hijo.
Anthony miró a una de las ventanas.
—¿Todavía está el asiento bajo la ventana al que se le levanta la tapa?
La mujer se quedó sorprendida.
—Sí, ¿cómo lo sabe?
—¿Te acuerdas? —le preguntó Candy a Anthony.
—Solo del asiento bajo la ventana. La tapa es roja.
—Sí, es roja —confirmó la mujer—. ¿Pero cómo lo sabe?
—Yo... jugaba ahí de pequeño —contestó Anthony.
—¿Sabe que uno de los chicos que vivía aquí ha muerto este verano? ¿Lo conocía?
—No, no lo conocía —contestó Anthony con un nudo en la garganta.
* * *
Patty, la recepcionista de la clínica de ginecología, casi se desmayó al ver a Anthony. Candy, que no había conseguido que Anthony se quedara en un rincón mientras ella firmaba los papeles en recepción, se preparó para la humillación que, sin duda alguna, la esperaba.
—Usted debe ser el señor White, ¿verdad? —dijo Patty.
—¿Qué? —murmuró Anthony perplejo. Mirando a Candy, Patty añadió:
—Señora White, no me había dicho que su marido fuera tan guapo. Candy suspiró.
—¿No?
Patty volvió a clavar los ojos en Anthony.
—¡Debe ser maravilloso llevar una vida como la que usted lleva! Una semana está en Bangkok, a la siguiente está en Bora Bora... en París, en Estambul, en el Tibet... ¡Lo que yo daría por viajar como usted! —Patty guiñó un ojo—. Aunque supongo que para eso debería haberme hecho piloto de avión, no recepcionista, ¿verdad?
—Sí, supongo.
—¿Adonde va a ir en el siguiente viaje? Anthony parpadeó antes de contestar.
—A... Casablanca.
—¡Oh, Dios mío!
—Saludaré a Humpnrey Bogart de su parte.
Patty se echó a reír y señaló a Anthony con su bolígrafo.
—Tiene usted sentido común, señor White. Candy se sentó. Anthony, con una sonrisa, se sentó a su lado.
—¿Señor White?
—Debería habértelo explicado.
—¿Tibet? ¿Bora Bora?
—Tiene una explicación.
—Pues... adelante.
—El primer día que vine aquí, me di cuenta de que soy mucho más convencional de lo que pensaba.
—Y te inventaste un marido, ¿no?
—La recepcionista creyó que el anillo de bodas de mi padre era mío y yo no lo desmentí.
Candy se tocó el anillo de oro que llevaba en el dedo corazón de la mano izquierda. Después, bajando la voz, añadió:
—Les he dicho que mi marido es piloto, lo que explica que no me acompañe nunca a estas visitas médicas. Cada vez que vengo, Patty me pregunta dónde está mi marido y luego se lo cuenta al resto del personal de la clínica.
—¿Qué pensabas decir durante el parto? ¿Iba yo a estar... de viaje?
Candy se lo quedó mirando unos segundos. En sus planes, no había entrado dar a luz en Illinois, y mucho menos en Chicago; pero eso no podía decírselo. Por suerte, no había dicho en la clínica que tenía pensado trasladarse a otro lugar.
—No había pensado en ello —contestó Candy.
—Mmmm.
Una enfermera pronunció el nombre de Candy.
—Señora White, ya puede pasar.
—Enseguida saldré —le dijo Candy a Anthony mientras se ponía en pie.
Pero Anthony también se levantó.
—No quiero perdérmelo.
—Anthony...
—Llámame señor White.
—Me parece que no...
—Es mi hijo también, Candy. No me niegues el privilegio de compartirlo contigo. Significa mucho para mí.
Candy presentó a Anthony a la ginecóloga, utilizando su verdadera apellido. Muchos matrimonios conservaban sus apellidos en la actualidad, y Candy no quería mentir si no era necesario.
—Ha ganado unos kilos —dijo la doctora mientras consultaba la ficha de Candy.
—No sé cómo, no come mucho —dijo Anthony.
—No se preocupe, señor Andley. Su esposa pesaba demasiado poco a principios del embarazo, ahora ya tiene un peso normal —mientras medía el abdomen de Candy, volvió la cabeza—. Tengo entendido que su próximo viaje es a Casablanca.
—Se corre la voz con mucha rapidez por aquí.
—Patty es una verdadera fuente de información. Como puede imaginar, para nosotros, que trabajamos todo el día entre estas cuatro paredes, su vida nos parece muy interesante.
—No lo es tanto como parece —dijo Anthony—. En primer lugar, me tiene separado de Candy mucho tiempo. Me preocupo mucho por ella cuando... estoy fuera.
Candy frunció el ceño.
Después de palparla, la doctora extendió una sustancia gelatinosa por el vientre de Candy, pero se volvió para mirar a Anthony.
—Debe ser difícil para usted pasar tanto tiempo fuera.
—Sí, lo es. Doctora, ¿a usted no le parece que una mujer embarazada necesita que su marido esté a su lado?
—Naturalmente, eso sería lo ideal.
—Estoy pensando en cambiar de trabajo con el fin de poder permanecer en Chicago ininterrumpidamente. La doctora regaló una amplia sonrisa a Candy.
—Su marido sabe lo que es realmente importante en la vida.
—Tengo mucha suerte —dijo Candy irónicamente.
—Sí, la tiene. No puede imaginar las cosas que vemos por aquí. Pero da igual, usted se cuenta entre las afortunadas. Todo resulta más fácil cuando se cuenta con el apoyo del marido.
Después de unos minutos de examen, la doctora les miró a los dos.
—Candy, pareces estar embarazada de más tiempo de lo que creíamos hasta ahora. Ya sé que no quieres que te haga una ecografía, pero creo que deberíamos hacértelo. Te aseguro que no te diré el sexo del niño si no quieres.
—¿Embarazada de más tiempo? —murmuró Anthony con voz tensa.
Candy sabía que Anthony estaba echando cuentas y pensando en lo que ella le había dicho. Si solo se habían acostado juntos una vez y estaba embarazada de más tiempo, significaba que el hijo no era suyo. Sin embargo, eso no podía ser ya que nunca antes se había acostado con nadie.
—Si estoy embarazada de antes, es el resultado de una inmaculada concepción —murmuró Candy mirando a la doctora.
Anthony se frotó las sienes.
La doctora hizo unas anotaciones en la ficha de Candy y dijo:
—Es bastante normal equivocarse respecto a la fecha de la concepción. Voy a hablar con Patty para ver si podemos hacer la ecografía inmediatamente. No te vistas todavía, Candy.
—Escucha... —comenzó a decir Candy en el momento en que la doctora se hubo marchado; pero Anthony le selló los labios con los dedos.
Después, bajando la cabeza, la besó en la mejilla. Candy, al instante, sintió necesidad de estar cerca de él, de compartir aquello con la única persona en el mundo a la que podía importarle tanto como a ella.
Se permitió el lujo de dejarse abrazar por Anthony, sintiéndose unida a él. Después de sus solitarias visitas a la clínica de ginecología, después de días y días de repetirse a sí misma que era una mujer fuerte e independiente, era increíble la sensación de no estar sola.
Los brazos de Anthony le infundieron confianza y valor.
—No te preocupes —dijo él.
—No estoy preocupada, estoy convencida de que todo está bien.
—A eso era a lo que me refería —contestó Anthony antes de besarla. Los latidos del corazón de Candy se hicieron más erráticos—. Da igual qué o quién... porque permaneceré a tu lado.
—¡Qué!
—Que no importa. Estoy seguro de que, si me mentiste respecto a la paternidad del niño, tenías tus razones.
—Pero Anthony...
—Lo comprendo. Créeme, no me importa.
—Pero...
Él acalló las protestas de Candy con otro beso.
* * *
UN ABRAZO EN LA DISTANCIA
LIZVET
9. Chapter 9
**Capítulo 8**
AUNQUE la doctora no dejó nada por explicar, Candy le había prestado una atención mínima. Anthony, a su lado, apoyaba la mano en su hombro. Le había dicho que estaría con ella para lo bueno y lo malo, aunque tuviera en su vientre al hijo de otro. Candy tenía ganas de besarlo y de estrangularle al mismo tiempo.
Fue entonces cuando clavó los ojos en la imagen de la pantalla, en el milagro que era su primer hijo.
Oyó a Anthony tomar aire y contenerlo en los pulmones.
—¿Es... nuestro bebé?
Candy apartó los ojos de la pantalla para mirar a Anthony. Él estaba viendo la pantalla con ojos húmedos.
—Nuestro hijo —repitió Anthony.
Su hijo. Y ella sabía quién era el padre. Él no podía estar seguro; sin embargo, estaba dispuesto a asumir esa responsabilidad.
¡Cómo había podido cambiar tanto!
Candy volvió a mirar a la pantalla, a la forma en blanco y negro de su hijo.
—¿Qué es? Quiero saber si es niño o niña. La ginecóloga se acercó más a la pantalla; después, miró a Anthony y luego a Candy.
—Me he equivocado, no estás embarazada de más tiempo.
Con una sonrisa, la doctora señaló unas formas en la pantalla.
—Tengo entendido que en su familia hay gemelos, señor Andley.
Anthony y Candy se miraron mientras asimilaban las palabras de la médico.
—¿Quiere decir que...? —Candy se interrumpió.
—Que hay dos niños, sí, eso es lo que estoy diciendo. Dos niños perfectos. No es seguro, pero parecen dos niñas.
—¡Gemelas! —exclamó Anthony con voz ronca.
Atónita, con un poco de miedo y absolutamente perpleja, Candy no podía dejar de mirar a la pantalla. Los ojos se le llenaron de lágrimas.
—Gemelas —murmuró Candy sobrecogida por la emoción.
—Es una suerte que, entre los dos, contemos con cuatro brazos —comentó Anthony con voz suave.
Candy volvió a mirarlo en el momento que unas lágrimas se resbalaban por sus mejillas, unas lágrimas que Anthony se secó inmediatamente. En ese momento, a Candy le pareció que no había en el mundo un hombre más deseable que él.
«Te amo», pensó Candy, cuidando de que esas palabras no se le escaparan de los labios. Por suerte o por desgracia, estaba enamorada de ese hombre, por estúpido que fuera amar a un hombre que, cuando recuperase su pasado, volvería a despreciarla.
* * *
Una semana más tarde de lo esperado, Candy oyó en el contestador automático el mensaje que había estado esperando y temido al mismo tiempo. Will y Pauna habían vuelto.
Inmediatamente, Anthony llamó por teléfono a sus padres.
— Pueden venir a cenar —les dijo.
Cosa que sorprendió a Candy. Durante semanas, Anthony no había querido tener nada que ver con su familia; sin embargo, ahora, los invitaba a cenar a su casa.
—No, insisto —añadió él.
Al parecer, la invitación había sorprendido tanto a Pauna como a Candy.
Tras una larga pausa, Anthony dijo:
—No, sigo sin recordar casi nada. Lo sé, a mí también me gustaría recuperar la memoria.
Anthony sonrió traviesamente a Candy, que logró esbozar una débil sonrisa.
—La verdad es que tenemos una sorpresa. Está bien, hasta dentro de un par de horas.
Después de colgar, Anthony se volvió a Candy.
—No te importa, ¿verdad?
—Claro que no.
Anthony seguía con aquella sonrisa a la que Candy no podía resistirse. Llevaba semanas evitando enfrentarse a algunos hechos. Incluso había considerado la posibilidad de vender su casa de Springfield para comprar una en ChicagoPort con el fin de que Anthony y las niñas pudieran verse y pasar tiempo juntos. La verdad era que no sabía qué hacer.
Fuera como fuese, tenía que tomar pronto una decisión. Aunque quería creer lo contrario, temía que ella y las niñas, de ser una alegría en su vida, pasaran a ser una carga en la vida de Anthony cuando recuperara la memoria. Al día siguiente tendría que hablar con él.
—¿Candy?
Candy levantó los ojos y lo encontró mirándola fijamente.
—¿Te encuentras bien?
—Claro.
—Estupendo. Pauna me ha dicho que ellos también tienen una sorpresa para mí, pero apuesto a que no puede compararse a la nuestra.
Poniéndose en pie, Candy dijo:
—Si vamos a tener invitados a cenar, será mejor que vaya a la tienda a comprar comida.
—No te preocupes, yo me encargo de eso.
Candy se apoyó contra el mostrador de la cocina mientras Anthony abrió armario tras armario.
—Eh, Anthony, tú no sabes cocinar.
—Eso es lo que tú te crees —Anthony sacó una pequeña lata aplastada y sonrió triunfalmente—. ¡Aja, anchoas! Sabía que había una lata de anchoas por aquí.
Después, murmurando para sí mismo, Anthony examinó los contenidos del refrigerador.
¿Anthony cocinando? Debía ser una nueva faceta.
Anthony agarró una mano de Candy y la llevó al cuarto de estar. La miraba como si fuera un tesoro.
—Gemelas —dijo él mirándola a los ojos.
—Sí.
—¿Estás contenta, Candy?
—¿Contenta? Estoy que no me lo creo. Y deseando que nazcan.
—Vas a tener que hacer otro jersey como el que estabas haciendo.
—No sé si quiero vestirlas iguales —dijo Candy. Si las niñas eran gemelas en vez de mellizas, como Anthony y Albert, iban a necesitar mantener sus identidades separadas—. Creo que las vestiré de forma diferente.
Anthony la estrechó en sus brazos y ella se permitió el placer de apoyar la cabeza en su pecho.
—No sé cómo decirte lo que todo esto significa para mí—dijo Anthony con voz queda—. Dos gemelas... mis hijas. Ahora tengo una familia, una familia a la que conozco desde el principio. Una nueva memoria, Cielo,tú no eres solo mi lazo de unión con el pasado, eres mi futuro. Te lo debo... todo.
—No, Anthony...
—Sí.
—Quiero que sepas que tú eres el padre. Nunca ha habido otro en mi vida, solo tú.
—Eso ya me lo has dicho.
—Y tú me dijiste que, aunque te hubiera mentido, no importaba. Pero no te mentí.
Anthony la apartó de sí para mirarla a los ojos.
—Lo sé, y lo siento. Candy, cuando te miro... veo el mundo lleno de oportunidades, de posibilidades. No me importaría que las niñas no fueran mías porque sé que son tuyas, eso era lo que intentaba decirte.
A Candy se le llenaron los ojos de lágrimas.
No protestó cuando Anthony la levantó en sus brazos y la llevó al sofá, en el que la tumbó. Después, se la quedó mirando largo tiempo antes de incorporarse despacio.
—¿Por qué no descansas un rato mientras yo voy a comprar? — dijo él con voz ronca.
Antes de que Candy pudiera contestar, Anthony desapareció.
—Primero se pone el condimento —dijo Anthony mientras molía pimienta en un almirez de madera que había encontrado en un armario encima del frigorífico—. Después, se muelen un par de dientes de ajo y se añaden los filetes de anchoa.
Sentada en un taburete, Candy hizo una mueca.
—¿Qué te pasa, no te gustan las anchoas?
—No.
—No te preocupes, ni siquiera las notarás —dijo él añadiendo una cucharada de café de mostaza de Dijon.
Anthony se acercó al cazo con agua hirviendo y echó un huevo. Después de unos segundos, lo sacó y lo echó a la ensalada.
—¡Está crudo! —exclamó Candy.
—No, no está crudo. Está lo suficientemente cocido como para no tener gérmenes. ¿Crees que pondría en peligro tu vida y la de las niñas?
Anthony era consciente de que sonreía, pero no parecía poder evitarlo. Tener gemelas era una milagro.
En el mortero, Anthony echó aceite y mezcló los ingredientes con un tenedor.
—¿Necesitas ayuda? —le preguntó Candy.
Como era la segunda vez que Candy lo preguntaba, Anthony decidió ponerla a partir una lechuga; el queso parmesano, para la ensalada, ya estaba rayado. El pollo estaba adobándose, el arroz cociéndose y, como nadie bebía alcohol, Anthony preparó un té con hielo.
El timbre sonó justo a tiempo. Candy, después de abrazar a los padres de Anthony, les hizo pasar.
Pauna abrazó a su hijo y luego lo miró fijamente.
—Esa cicatriz te sienta bien —le dijo a Anthony su madre.
—Gracias —contestó él.
—Pero cariño, necesitas un corte de pelo. Creo que la última vez que fuiste a cortarte el pelo fue justo antes de la boda de Terrence. Tú y Albert fuisteis juntos... antes del accidente.
La voz de Pauna había enronquecido y los ojos le brillaron sospechosamente. Anthony decidió que lo mejor era ponerse a cenar cuanto antes; por lo tanto, in vitó a todos a que se sentaran en torno a la mesa y pasó la ensalada César.
—Está deliciosa —dijo su madre, ya recuperada—. Creía que no sabías cocinar.
—Albert era el que siempre andaba por la cocina —dijo Will, con un rostro pálido y demacrado que mostraba los malos ratos que había pasado en aquel viaje.
Anthony sintió una gran compasión por su padre.
—Quizá adopte algunas de las cualidades de mi hermano —comentó Anthony, intrigado por la idea.
Durante las últimas semanas, había leído artículos sobre hermanos gemelos y sabía que, con frecuencia, compartían las mismas aficiones. Después, confesó que la cena que había preparado la había copiado de un programa culinario que había visto en el televisor mientras Candy dormía.
Pero no les dijo que la ensalada que había preparado le había parecido algo a lo que estaba acostumbrado a hacer, ni tampoco que había modificado la receta para mejorar el sabor.
¿Cómo sabía eso? ¿Se lo había dicho alguien en el Mona Lisa?¿Estaba comenzando a recordar?
Aquella noche tenía apetito, a pesar de estar preocupado al ver que Candy solo picoteaba su comida. La había notado muy callada toda la tarde.
A Anthony se le había olvidado preparar un postre, pero a nadie pareció importarle. Mientras recogía la mesa metía los platos en el fregadero, oyó cerrarse la puerta de la entrada y salió al cuarto de estar; entonces, vio que su madre no estaba. Candy estaba sentada en el sofá, junto a Will; los dos parecían ensimismados en sus pensamientos.
La fiesta no estaba muy animada.
Pero todo cambió unos segundos más tarde, cuando la puerta del piso se abrió y un perro con ojos negros arrastró a Pauna a la habitación.
—¡Te hemos traído el terrier de Albert! —gritó Pauna sujetando al perro de la correa.
—Ese perro está como una cabra —dijo Will.
—No, no es verdad —insistió Pauna mientras acariciaba el lomo del perro para tranquilizarlo.
Anthony fue a acariciarlo, pero recibió un ladrido como recompensa. Se acercó más al perro y éste hizo amago de morderle. Un perro estupendo para un hombre que iba a tener dos hijas, pensó Anthony irónica mente, preguntándose cómo iba a decirle a su madre que no podía quedarse con el animal. Quería tener algo que hubiera pertenecido a Albert, pero algo que no mordiera.
—Es extraño, ¿no os parece? Uno pensaría que, al ser gemelos, Sócrates te querría tanto como a Albert. Los vecinos nos dijeron que Albert jugaba mucho con el perro.
Anthony sonrió. ¿Por qué Albert le habría puesto al perro Sócrates de nombre?
—También nos dijeron los vecinos que Albert tenía al animal desde hacía solo unas semanas —añadió Will.
El intento de Candy de acariciar al perro resultó en más amagos de mordisco.
—Es muy joven —dijo Pauna acariciándolo.
—Es un cretino —insistió Will. Después, levantó un dedo vendado—. Un cretino con unos dientes muy afi lados.
—Bueno, está claro que te ha tomado cariño... mamá.
Pauna sonrió. Anthony trató de recordar si aquella era la primera vez, desde el accidente, que la había llamado mamá; estaba casi seguro.
—Quizá debería quedármelo yo —dijo Pauna—. En cierto modo, sería como tener a Albert. Podría llamarlo Socks.
Anthony, aliviado, asintió.
—Estoy seguro de que a Albert le encantaría que te quedaras a... Socks.
—¿Lo dices en serio?
—Completamente en serio.
Había algo que llevaba tiempo queriendo decirles a sus padres, algo referente al accidente, pero que aún no se había atrevido a mencionar. Cada vez que decía algo referente a aquel día, todos se quedaban mudos. Haciendo acopio de valor, dijo:
—Aún no os he dicho lo mucho que siento lo de Albert.
Hubo lágrimas, pero Anthony continuó:
—Ha tenido que ser horrible para vosotros dos. Ya sé que yo no me acuerdo y que los médicos os han dicho que no me habléis de ello, pero quiero que sepáis que siento mucho que Albert haya muerto. Siento mucho que ocurriera ese maldito accidente.
Pauna miró a Will. Will miró a Candy. Candy se miró los pies. Anthony se sintió como si hubiera dicho algo terrible y, rápidamente, añadió:
—Ya habéis arreglado todos los asuntos de Albert, ¿verdad?
Will fue el primero en recuperarse.
—Tenía un pequeño despacho que compartía con su socia. Julia, su socia, está embarazada de seis meses, así que va a tener que dejar de trabajar durante un tiempo; y ahora, sin Albert... tiene miedo de que, al final, no le quede más remedio que cerrar el despacho.
—Al menos hemos vendido la casa —interpuso Pauna, aparentemente aliviada de hablar de hechos concretos—. Se ha perdido bastante dinero, pero no importa. Estábamos deseando volver a casa. En fin, a parte de algunas cosas para sus amigos, Albert nos lo ha dejado todo a nosotros. Hemos metido en unas cajas algunas cosas de Albert que pensamos que él querría que tuvierais tú y Terrence.
Pauna, con labios temblorosos, guardó silencio.
—Anthony estaba deseando que volvierais —dijo Candy—. ¿Os ha dicho que ha recordado algunas cosas? No mucho, pero es algo.
—Es maravilloso —dijo Pauna mientras se llevaba un pañuelo a los ojos.
—Estoy segura de que tenéis muchas ganas de pasar tiempo juntos... en familia —continuó Candy—. Si Anthony pasara un tiempo contigo y con Will...
Will tosió, y Pauna reaccionó como si hubiera recibido una advertencia.
A Anthony le enterneció la devoción de su madre, pero también le preocupaba» Y, al parecer, también le preocupaba a Candy porque no hacía más que mirar a uno y a otro con ojos desmesuradamente abiertos.
—¿Qué tal mañana? —preguntó Candy en tono vacilante.
—No, mañana no puede ser —dijo Pauna al instante—. Will tiene una cita con el médico y luego necesita descansar. Será mejor que vosotros sigáis como hasta ahora. Al parecer, está resultando.
Anthony se dio cuenta de que sus padres se disponían a marcharse. Entonces, agarró la mano de Candy y la hizo levantarse.
—Esperad un momento. Antes de que os vayáis, tenemos que deciros algo...
* * *
Anthony respiró profundamente y entró en la casa victoriana que, hasta el día del accidente, había sido su lugar de trabajo. No les había advertido de que iba a ir porque quería disfrutar de unos minutos en privado. Esperaba que, al entrar en aquel lugar, cualquier cosa despertara su memoria.
Había una escalera a la derecha del vestíbulo; de bajo de las escaleras, un ascensor. A la izquierda de la entrada había un mostrador; detrás del mostrador, una pelirroja atractiva. La joven no lo miró, quizá porque estaba concentrada hablando con dos personas que había delante del mostrador. Una de las personas era una mujer morena enfundada en un elegante traje negro; la otra persona era un hombre de mediana edad y calva cabeza. Aunque estaba de espaldas a Anthony, éste notó que su postura era beligerante.
Anthony miró a su alrededor. Vio estanterías llenas de libros, unas cuantas macetas, espesas alfombras y muebles de roble.
Nada. Su memoria se negaba a reaccionar.
El hombre dio unos pasos hacia delante, estirando la mano. Anthony se preguntó si sería Goodman, Todd o Flanders. Sin embargo, no tenía aspecto de abogado.
—Anthony —dijo el hombre estrechando la mano de Anthony—. Me alegro mucho de verte, chico. Bueno, tengo que reconocer que no me hizo mucha gracia enterarme de que, debido al accidente, no te ibas a hacer cargo de mi asunto; pero Samantha ha hecho un gran trabajo.
El hombre le hizo un guiño a Anthony y añadió:
—Destrozó al veterano. Fue maravilloso. ¡Me temo que vas a tener que compartir el dinero con ella!
Anthony trató de aparentar saber de qué le estaba hablando ese hombre. La morena se puso tensa.
—Yo no quiero ni un céntimo. Todos sabemos quién fue el cerebro detrás de su... defensa.
—Bueno, solucionarlo entre vosotros —dijo el hombre con otro guiño.
La morena miró a Anthony con desagrado. La pelirroja se humedeció los labios y lo miró con sus ojos verdes insinuantes.
Bien, parecía claro que una de las mujeres no se fiaba de él y la otra lo deseaba.
Por fin, la morena le dijo:
—No tienes idea de quiénes somos, ¿verdad? No me reconoces, ni has reconocido a Gail ni tampoco a Kurt Dalton, ¿no es cierto?
Anthony esbozó una sonrisa auténtica.
—No tengo ni idea.
—Yo soy Samantha Cooke, tu fiel compañera de tra bajo. Soy quien se ha hecho cargo del caso Dalton en tu ausencia. Kurt Dalton es el tipo que acaba de marcharse. Y ésta es Gail Bascomb, nuestra recepcionista.
—Esa cicatriz te sienta muy bien, Anthony —dijo Gail.
Samantha Cooke sacudió la cabeza.
—Miles Flanders querrá Verte. Sube las escaleras, primera puerta a la derecha. O si lo prefieres, sube en el ascensor.
—No, subiré las escaleras —respondió Anthony.
Miles Flanders tenía aspecto de correr tres kilómetros todas las mañanas antes del desayuno y de pasarse los fines de semana jugando al tenis. También tenía una mirada de ave de presa.
—¿Así que no has recuperado la memoria? —preguntó Flanders por fin.
—No.
—¿Nada?
Anthony sacudió la cabeza.
—¿Por qué lo preguntas? Flanders se encogió de hombros.
—Por curiosidad. Nunca he tratado con una persona con amnesia. Está bien, voy a serte franco... eres una persona muy valiosa en esta empresa, tienes la habilidad de ganar los casos perdidos. El trabajo de investigación que hiciste para el caso Dalton fue genial. Pero sin tu memoria... En fin, tómate el tiempo que necesites, Anthony.
—No he venido para sugerir ir mañana a los tribunales —contestó Anthony—. Me acuerdo de haber estudiado Derecho, pero no de practicarlo. Sin embargo, tenía la esperanza de que la rutina de la oficina me hiciera recordar.
—Hemos tenido que repartirnos tus casos después del accidente. Billings se hizo caso del asesinato de Poe, y Cooke se encargó del juicio de Dalton, utilizando tu plan y tus investigaciones.
—Sí, eso es lo que me ha dicho —dijo Anthony. Flanders arqueó las cejas.
—¿La has visto?
—Ella y Dalton estaban abajo cuando entré. Tengo la impresión de que no le caigo muy bien.
—Bueno, después de lo que pasó entre los dos... Anthony levantó una mano.
—Por favor, no digas más, no quiero saberlo. No recuerdo nada y, si quieres que te diga la verdad, tampoco quiero acordarme.
Flanders lanzó una carcajada.
—En fin, tampoco le gustaba Dalton, y no lo disimuló. Como yo siempre digo, que Dios nos libre de los abogados idealistas.
Anthony no supo qué responder.
—Quédate el tiempo que quieras por aquí —añadió Flanders—. Ve a la biblioteca si quieres, en el sótano; ve a tu despacho para revisar los últimos casos; haz lo que quieras. Pero nada de nuevos casos hasta que no estés perfectamente bien, ¿de acuerdo?
Anthony estrechó la mano de Flanders.
—De acuerdo. Ah, una cosa más, ¿Gail es mi secretaria?
Anthony esperaba con toda sinceridad que no lo fuera.
—No. Bueno, voy a llamar a Vincent para que te enseñe dónde está todo.
Vincent no disimuló su curiosidad respecto a la amnesia de Anthony, y le hizo tantas preguntas como las que contestó. El tour acabó en el despacho de Anthony. Antes de cerrar la puerta, Vincent le preguntó si quería algo más.
—No he visto ninguna cafetera.
—Está al fondo. ¿Te apetece un café? Solo, ¿verdad?
—Sí, solo. Y también me gustaría ver el archivo del caso Dalton.
—No hay problema. ¿Sabías que Samantha ganó el caso?
—Sí, lo sé. Lo único que quiero es revisar mis notas.
Tras asentir con la cabeza, Vincent se marchó.
* * *
Candy estaba descansando en el sofá, haciendo punto, después de haber hecho los ejercicios de preparación para el parto cuando Anthony entró en la casa.
Al fijarse en él, notó que se le veía agotado. Agotado y asqueado.
¿Por qué?, se preguntó Candy con temor.
¿Había recordado el accidente? ¿Había recordado que iba al volante y que era responsable de la muerte de Albert? ¿Le había dicho alguien algo...?
Anthony se volvió a ella e, inmediatamente, una sonrisa apareció en su rostro.
—Estás guapísima —dijo él avanzando hacia Candy.
—¿Qué te ocurre? —preguntó Candy dejando a un lado las agujas y la lana.
—Nada.
—Mentiroso.
Anthony sacudió la cabeza,
—No es nada, en serio.
—¿Te ha dicho alguien... algo en el trabajo?
—¿Qué quieres decir?
Candy parpadeó.
—Bueno, ya sabes que a la gente le gusta hablar... Anthony se la quedó mirando, tratando de adivinar de qué creía Candy que la gente hablaría.
—Nadie me ha dicho gran cosa. Todos han sido muy amables conmigo. Distantes, pero amables. Me han tratado como a un animal de laboratorio; cosa que me parece bien, porque es así como me siento.
—Entonces...
Anthony le besó la frente.
—Estás guapísima hoy. Te sienta muy bien la ropa de hacer ejercicio.
—Soy una mujer fatal y tú estás tratando de esquivar el tema.
—¿Por qué estás tan segura?
—Porque te he visto la cara.
Anthony suspiró y se pasó una mano por el cabello.
—No quiero preocuparte, Candy. Tú ya tienes bastante con el embarazo.
—Vamos, preocúpame.
Tras vacilar unos instantes, Anthony contestó:
—Hoy he tenido una lección en lo que significa ser Anthony Andley.
—¿Y eso qué significa?
—Significa que he visto la clase de hombre que soy, de primera mano.
—Sigo sin comprender, habla más claro.
Anthony sacudió la cabeza.
Candy le acarició un brazo y luego le puso la mano en la mejilla.
—¿Qué has descubierto hoy sobre ti mismo?
—He descubierto que carezco de ética profesional. He descubierto que soy capaz de hacer cualquier cosa por dinero. He descubierto que soy un inmoral, Candy. No hay nada en mi carrera profesional de lo que enorgullecerse. Si no fuera por ti y por las gemelas, preferiría no recuperar la memoria.
Anthony la estrechó en sus brazos y apoyó la mejilla en la cabeza de Candy.
—Y he descubierto por qué quieres abandonarme —murmuró él.
Candy se permitió fundirse con él. En ese momento, Anthony era todo lo que ella había deseado que fuera: cariñoso y vulnerable, consciente de sus defectos y, sin embargo, con una decisión férrea.
Y, en ese momento, abandonarlo ni se le pasaba por la cabeza.
* * *
UN ABRAZO EN LA DISTANCIA.
LIZVET
10. Chapter 10
**Capítulo 9**
EL VIENTO rizaba la superficie del mar. Candy se retiró unas hebras de pelo de la boca y deseó haber agarrado una chaqueta con capucha. Cuando Anthony le dijo que quería ir a dar una vuelta, había supuesto que sería una vuelta alrededor de la manzana, no un paseo a la orilla del mar.
Anthony parecía hipnotizado mientras miraba al hori zonte. El sol estaba bajo, tiñendo el cielo de naranja y morado. Por fin, Anthony suspiró, se metió las manos en los bolsillos y lanzó a Candy una sonrisa. Aunque sus ojos aún mostraban preocupación, había un brillo nuevo de tranquilidad en ellos. Tenía aspecto de haber tomado una decisión.
—¿Siempre me ha gustado el mar? —preguntó Anthony.
La verdad era que Anthony prefería los restaurantes de moda y los club nocturnos. Pero esa era una vieja ver dad, una verdad irrelevante.
—La cuestión es si te gusta ahora —dijo Candy.
—Sí —respondió Anthony sin vacilar—. Me hace sen tirme vivo. Hace que los problemas que tengo me pa rezcan insignificantes.
Anthony le tomó la mano y reanudaron la marcha. Ella se dedicó a sentir la arena bajo sus pies. Ignoró la firmeza con la que Anthony le tenía agarrada la mano, como si fuera para él su salvación. Candy se moría de curiosidad por enterarse de lo que había pasado en la oficina que tanto le había afectado.
No sabría decir cuánto anduvieron, solo que cada vez sentía más frío mientras la noche caía sobre ellos.
Candy tembló. Anthony dejó de caminar y le puso un brazo sobre los hombros, pero no la quitó el frío.
—He estado aquí antes —dijo Anthony.
—¿Recuerdas esta playa?
Anthony bajó el rostro para mirarla.
—¿Has pensado alguna vez en qué es la memoria? Por ejemplo, recuerdo perfectamente el bocadillo que me comí ayer, y recuerdo docenas de cosas al respecto: cómo sabía el pan, lo crujiente que era, el olor del to mate y cómo se veía en el plato; sin embargo, mis re cuerdos de ahora están condicionados por mis expe riencias pasadas, por lo que me parecía importante. Los recuerdos son subjetivos; no obstante, indican me jor lo que es importante para nosotros que los hechos concretos.
Anthony se interrumpió un momento antes de añadir:
—No sé cuándo, pero sé que he estado en esta playa. Sé que encontré paz aquí, igual que me pasa ahora.
—¿Qué ha pasado hoy, Anthony? —se atrevió Candy a preguntar.
Anthony, mirándola fijamente, contestó:
—No debería hablar de ello contigo, no es ético desde el punto de vista profesional. Sin embargo, o se lo cuento a alguien o voy a volverme loco. Y tú eres la única persona a la que puedo contárselo.
—Dímelo Anthony, puedes confiar en mí. ¿Qué ha pa sado?
Anthony le quitó el brazo de los hombros.
—¿Te acuerdas del incendio que hubo en Chicagoport hace ocho meses? Se quemó un viejo almacén en aquel incendio.
—Sé que hubo un incendio, pero no me acuerdo de gran cosa. ¿Murió alguien?
—Sí, un vagabundo que había entrado por una ven tana y estaba durmiendo ahí.
—Ya. Creo que leí en el periódico que acusaban al dueño del almacén de haber provocado el fuego inten cionadamente. Se alegaba que lo había hecho para co brar un seguro. Sin embargo, no me acuerdo de qué pasó en el juicio.
—Quizá sea porque el juicio empezó a celebrarse un par de días después de que yo tuviera el accidente. El dueño del almacén era un tipo llamado Kurt Dalton, y hoy he descubierto que era cliente mío. Después del accidente, una abogada de la empresa se hizo cargo del caso y lo ganó basándose en la investigación y los in formes que yo había hecho. En fin, hoy he revisado mis notas.
—¿Y qué has descubierto? —preguntó ella en voz baja.
Anthony se frotó la frente.
—Había un testigo que juraba haber visto a Dalton en el almacén aquella noche, pero Dalton tenía una co artada. El testigo era un veterano de guerra con un his torial de problemas psicológicos; al parecer, sufrió una crisis nerviosa cuando, hace veinticinco años, la mitad de sus hombres murieron abrasados en un incendio. Según mis notas, hice una investigación sobre este in dividuo y decidí que sería fácil destruirlo en el juicio. Presenté como testigos a sus psiquiatras, a sus dos ex esposas, a sus tres hijos y utilicé a todas esas personas para desacreditarlo. Se derrumbó en el banquillo de los testigos.
—Pero...
—Espera, aún hay más. En el archivo, en un sobre a parte, he encontrado un artículo de un periódico es crito por un periodista que estaba haciendo un repor taje un par de edificios más allá del almacén de Dalton. Unos minutos antes de que ocurriera el incendio, este tipo sacó una foto desde la ventana en la que es taba. La foto salió en el periódico con el artículo. En la foto, he visto marcado un círculo azul alrededor de uno de los coches aparcados en la calle, un coche con una abolladura en el parachoques posterior. Utilizando una lupa, se puede leer el número de la matrícula del coche.
Candy no comprendía nada. Temblando de frío, susurró:
—¿Y?
Anthony se quitó la chaqueta y se la echó a Candy por los hombros.
—Como es natural, me he preguntado por qué estaba ese artículo ahí y porqué ese coche estaba marcado con un círculo. Después, al fijarme, he visto que en el so bre está escrito el nombre de Dalton.
—¿Ese coche...?
—Es el coche de Dalton. Su hijo le había hecho una abolladura la noche anterior. Lo he comprobado todo. La foto fue sacada quince minutos antes de que sonara la alarma de incendios. Dalton no estaba cenando en casa de una amiga, tal y como había corroborado su familia.
—Así que estaba cerca de su almacén.
—Sí. Y eso significa que la coartada de Dalton era falsa; y lo que es peor, que yo sabía que había mentido. Es el tercer edificio a su nombre que se ha quemado. Un vigilante de noche murió en el primer incendio. Y ahora acabo de descubrir que Dalton ha sido responsa ble por la muerte de un hombre cuyo único delito fue buscar un lugar resguardado en el que pasar la noche. Y significa que soy la clase de abogado que, sabiendo la verdad, la oculta.
Candy sintió necesidad de hacer algo por aliviar el dolor que veía en los ojos de Anthony.
—Voy a hacer de abogado del diablo. ¿No se supone que ese es tu trabajo? Por desagradable que sea, ¿no es eso lo que tienes que hacer? ¿No podía el fiscal haber descubierto el mismo artículo, la misma foto y había consultado con otros psiquiatras?
—Quizá sea un buen abogado —dijo Anthony despa cio—, pero hacer que un veterano de guerra se venga abajo, con el fin de librar a Dalton de la cárcel, no me hace un buen hombre. ¿Y no es eso lo más importante?
—Sí —respondió Candy con voz queda—. Sí, por su puesto.
Anthony se la quedó mirando unos momentos antes de hablar.
—Todavía tienes frío, ¿verdad?
—No te preocupes, estoy bien.
—He sido un egoísta al traerte aquí.
—No...
—Pero tú has venido sin protestar. Nunca protestas, Candy. Desde el principio, has estado dispuesta a se guirme en todo, a poner mis necesidades por delante de las tuyas. Eres una mujer increíble.
— Anthony...
—Una mujer increíble —repitió él estrechándola en sus brazos.
A Candy le resultaba imposible controlar sus senti mientos cuando él la tocaba. Estaba tratando de recon ciliar a aquel Anthony con el hombre con el que había sa lido meses atrás. Mientras que este Anthony continuaba impresionándola por su consideración y compasión, recuerdos referentes al modo como la había tratado en el pasado continuaban asaltándola.
¡Qué terrible debía ser para él esa situación!
—Estás temblando —dijo él.
—Y tú.
Anthony bajó la cabeza y,.cuando la besó, ella ya estaba sin respiración. No la besó solo en la boca, tam bién le tocó las mejillas con los labios; y la garganta, los oídos, los párpados y la frente. Cuando Anthony vol vió a apoderarse de su boca, Candy estaba a punto de desmayarse y tan asustada que, de repente, se apartó de él y comenzó a andar. A sus espaldas, le sintió se guirla, sin protestar.
La sensibilidad y humanidad de Anthony la hicieron amarlo aún más.
En ese momento, se dio cuenta. ¿Por qué seguía re chazándolo? Anthony era honesto y tierno, al tiempo que irresistible y sensual. Era la clase de hombre que siem pre había querido. ¿Por qué no podía aceptar a este nuevo Anthony como verdadero?
Anthony pasó varias tardes aquella semana en su ofi cina. Después de revisar sus casos, llegó a una desa gradable conclusión: su carrera profesional era una máscara de decencia que ocultaba hechos de dudosa reputación.
Pensó en su antigua profesora, Ponny Platt, y en el evidente desagrado que había mostrado hacia él. Cuando la vio, le pareció cruel; pero ahora...
Tendría que cambiar. Tenía la sensación de que sus días en Goodman, Tood y Flanders estaban contados. Necesitaba encontrarse a sí mismo y, por alguna razón que desconocía, eso le llevó a casa de sus padres.
Evidentemente, les sorprendió verlo; pero le reci bieron con cariño y le condujeron al cuarto de estar. Sócrates gruñó e hizo amagos de morderle antes de que su padre encerrara al perro en la cocina.
Junto a una foto de la boda de Terrence y Susana, Anthony encontró dos fotos suyas colgadas en la pared. Pero pronto se dio cuenta de que las fotos no eran solo su yas, una era de Albert.
—Contadme cosas sobre mí —les dijo a sus padres.
—Oh, Dios mío —dijo Pauna, lanzando a Will una mi rada de soslayo.
Anthony agarró las manos de su madre en las suyas.
—Escuchad, ya sé que dejo mucho que desear, y por eso os lo voy a poner fácil. Sé que soy un egoísta, sé que no he sido buen hijo, sé que mi reputación es du dosa. Pero también sé que estoy enamorado de Candy, que seré un buen padre y que, por lo que sea, he cam biado después del accidente. Espero que podáis ayu darme y que me contéis cómo era de pequeño, de niño. Puede que sea importante. ¿Os parece bien?
Pauna asintió, las lágrimas daban un brillo especial a sus ojos. Anthony se había dirigido a ella porque era evi dente que era más fuerte que su padre; por eso, le sor prendió que fuera su padre quien contestara.
—Tú y Albert eran maravillosos de pequeños —dijo Will pasándose una arrugada mano por el cabello en canecido—. Albert era más callado, tú eras muy extrover tido. No voy a negar que tú yo discutíamos bastante, porque eras muy cabezota; pero siempre te admiré, hijo. Sabías lo que querías y te lanzabas de lleno a con seguirlo.
—Tenías cientos de amigos —interpuso Pauna—. No sé cuántas fiestas os di en la otra casa. Albert tenía tenden cia a salir con una chica solo, pero tú solías decirme que la vida era demasiado corta y que estabas dis puesto a disfrutarla al máximo. Por eso fue por lo que me alegré tanto cuando empezaste a salir con Candy.
—Es lo mejor que ha podido pasarte en la vida —dijo su padre.
Anthony asintió.
—Sí, estoy de acuerdo.
—Es adorable —añadió Pauna—. Tiene un aspecto muy frágil; sin embargo, es fuerte y muy buena persona. Va a ser una madre maravillosa. Va a ser una esposa mara villosa.
Anthony miró a su madre a los ojos. Su madre espe raba que confirmara lo que acababa de decir. Anthony quiso decirle que, por él, no había problemas; sin em bargo, sospechaba que Candy no iba a estar de acuerdo.
—Candy es única —dijo Anthony evasivamente.
—Siempre fuiste especial para mí —dijo Pauna—. No me malinterpretes, os quería a—los tres con locura. Terrence era muy deportista, Albert era sensible y con mucho sentido del humor, y tú tenías al demonio metido en el cuerpo. Tú y yo solíamos quedarnos hablando hasta las tantas de la noche.
—¿De qué hablábamos?
—De todo y de nada. Hablábamos de libros... tú y Albert leíais mucho. También hablábamos de ideas, de gente... de todo.
—Sé que, ya de adulto, no os he visitado mucho. Lo siento —dijo Anthony de repente.
La sonrisa de su madre le llegó al corazón. Pauna le puso una mano en la suya.
—Estabas muy ocupado, Anthony. Tenías siempre mu chas cosas que hacer, y una vida social muy intensa.
—Creo que lo que más te gustaba era conquistar gente, hacer nuevos amigos —añadió su padre—. Pero el esfuerzo cotidiano de mantener las amistades...
—Me parece que era muy superficial y algo oportu nista —dijo Anthony —. Creo que este horrible accidente lo ha cambiado todo. Creo que el accidente ha hecho que me dé cuenta de lo que realmente es importante para mí. Ya sé que antes me daba miedo asumir responsabi lidades... pero ya no.
Sus padres sonrieron, y Anthony se dio cuenta de que, al margen de la clase de hijo que hubiera sido en el pa sado, esas dos personas lo querían. Le habían querido en el pasado, le querían en el presente y le seguirían queriendo en el futuro. Igual que él querría a sus hijas. Los ojos de Anthony se llenaron de lágrimas que no pudo contener.
—Gracias —les dijo a sus padres.
—No sé si te hemos ayudado...
—Sí, me habéis ayudado —les aseguró él.
Y así era. Por primera vez desde que saliera del coma después del accidente, se sintió como si Pauna y Will fueran realmente sus padres.
A petición de Pauna, Terrence y Anthony se quedaron cada uno con media docena de cajas que contenían efectos personales de Albert. A Anthony le parecía un sa crilegio examinar el contenido de las cajas sin poder acordarse de Albert; por eso, las dejó en un rincón de su habitación, dejando la inspección para otro mo mento.
Según transcurrían los días, siguió recordando pe queñas cosas. Pero se cuidó de decírselo a Candy, ya que el mayor miedo de ella era que recuperara la me moria y volviera a transformarse en el monstruo que había sido en el pasado. Además, no tenía sentido pre ocuparla sin necesidad, ya que los recuerdos eran es porádicos y no parecían ser muy importantes.
Por ejemplo, sabía que el color preferido de Candy era el azul. La recordaba con un vestido azul. Ese mismo día, le había comprado un pañuelo azul que te nía guardado en el bolsillo de la chaqueta y que pen saba dárselo a Candy aquella noche.
Pero antes tenía que ir a la comisaría de policía, porque tenía una cita a las dos para hablar con el policía que llegó primero al incendio del almacén de Dalton. El juicio ya había acabado, pero aún podía solucionar el asunto de fraude en el cobro del se guro. Sin embargo, antes de hacer nada, Anthony es taba decidido a volver a investigar el caso desde el principio.
Tuvo que esperar una hora para que otro policía le dijera que el agente con el que tenía la cita había te nido que salir y, por lo tanto, tenía que cambiar el día. Anthony aplacó su frustración pensando en que así ten dría más tiempo para estar con Candy.
Estaba cruzando el vestíbulo cuando, de repente, se cruzó con el detective Hill.
—Vaya, vaya —dijo Hill—. ¿Qué le trae por aquí?
—Tenía una cita —respondió Anthony, inmediatamente en guardia.
—Si ya ha recuperado la memoria, es conmigo con quien debería hablar. Y, si no recuerdo mal, no me ha pedido una cita.
Anthony sabía que Hill había estado haciendo pregun tas sobre él, pero contuvo la intranquilidad que eso le produjo.
—¿Por qué? ¿Qué es lo que quiere de mí?
Hill apretó la mandíbula.
—Oiga, puede que consiga engañar a los médicos, pero los dos sabemos que era usted quien iba condu ciendo, que era usted quien iba borracho y que fue usted el responsable del accidente. Puede que nunca logré demostrarlo, gracias al desastre del laborato rio, pero los dos sabemos que usted mató a su hermano.
Atónito, Anthony se quedó mirando a Hill a los ojos. Lo que vio fue peor que lo que Hill había dicho por que, como abogado, sabía que se podía dar la vuelta a las palabras, que se podía jugar con ellas y transformarlas en armas.
Lo que vio en los ojos de Hill fue la verdad.
* * *
—La verdad, Candy.
Ella se lo quedó mirando. Anthony parecía destro zado, y ella sospechó que ya sabía la verdad.
—Después de que Hill me dijera eso, fui a la biblio teca —dijo Anthony paseándose por el cuarto de estar—. He revisado todo lo que tienen sobre el accidente.
— Anthony...
—Hill tiene razón, yo conducía el coche, yo maté a Albert.
— Anthony...
Anthony se detuvo y se la quedó mirando.
—¿Sabes lo más gracioso, Candy? Que no me sor prende. Todo lo que he ido descubriendo sobre mí hace que resulte lo más plausible. Además, así se explica por qué todos os ponéis tan nerviosos cuando se men ciona el accidente. Yo maté a Albert. Y por lo que sé so bre mí mismo, el que debía haber muerto soy yo.
Candy murmuró algo y fue a consolarlo; pero an tes de que pudiera tocarlo, Anthony se dio media vuelta y se marchó de la casa.
Transcurrieron horas. Candy esperó en la oscuri dad con la mente confusa.
De súbito, se puso en pie. Buscó una linterna y, cuando la encontró, agarró las llaves. Tenía que ir en busca de Anthony.
El coche estaba en el aparcamiento, lo que signifi caba que Anthony había ido a pie o en taxi. Lloviznaba. Candy fue a Pepper's Place primero, tenía el presentimiento de que Anthony habría ido a algún lugar ruidoso, un lugar oscuro en el que esconderse. Se acercó a la barra y le preguntó al camarero si había visto a Anthony Andley.
—No, hace semanas que no le veo —fue la única res puesta que obtuvo.
Candy pasó por los antiguos colegios de Anthony, por la casa en la que se había criado. No se molestó en ir a casa de los padres de Anthony ni a casa de su her mano porque sabía que no recurriría a ellos en el es tado en el que se encontraba, con el problema que tenía. Se pasó por la oficina de Anthony con la esperanza de ver luz en la ventana de su despacho, pero el edifi cio entero estaba a oscuras.
¿Adonde ir? ¿Al club de campo? ¿Al Mona Lisa?
No, aquellos eran lugares en los que el viejo Anthony se lamería las heridas.
Pero... ¿y el nuevo Anthony?
De repente, lo supo.
Por encima de la suave espuma de las olas, vio la silueta de una figura solitaria en la playa. Instintiva mente, Candy supo que era Anthony.
La llovizna continuaba, y Candy agarró la linterna y el paraguas de la parte posterior del coche.
Anthony se volvió cuando ella estaba a tres metros de él. Abrió los brazos y la ayudó a agacharse cuando ella se sentó a su lado. Anthony tenía frías las manos y soltó a Candy inmediatamente. Candy dejó la linterna en la arena y mantuvo el paraguas por encima de sus cabe zas.
Después de unos momentos de silencio, Candy dijo:
—Quiero que sepas que estás equivocado.
Anthony se volvió para mirarla, tenía las mejillas hú medas.
—He leído los periódicos, Candy, sé que yo condu cía el coche. Y Hill ha dicho que estaba borracho. ¡Qué ironía de! destino! Cuando me tropecé con Hill, había ido a la comisaría decidido a enmendar lo malo que había hecho, pero sin saber que lo peor que he he cho en la vida ha sido matar a mi hermano. Soy un asesino.
—No me refería a eso —dijo Candy—. En todo lo que haces, con todo lo que dices, estás mostrando ser el hombre que realmente eres. El viejo Anthony ha desapa recido, tú has hecho que desaparezca. Te has equivo cado al decir que eres tú quien debería haber muerto, no Albert. Ahora que vas a tener dos hijas, ¿cómo puedes decir que eres tú quien debería haber muerto?
Candy le puso una mano en la mejilla y a Anthony le pareció que el mundo dejaba de dar vueltas. A pesar de que no podía ver sus ojos con claridad, sintió una invi sible unión entre ellos, una unión poderosa y eterna.
Anthony le agarró la mano y se la llevó a los labios para besarle, uno a uno, los dedos.
—Oh, Candy —murmuró Anthony —. Despiértame con un beso.
Candy se inclinó hacia él y le besó con labios cáli dos y suaves. Se lo quedó mirando a los ojos y Anthony se dio cuenta de que estaba esperando una respuesta a la pregunta de si aquel beso le había sacado de la pesa dilla en la que se había visto sumido, de toda su confu sión.
Desgraciadamente, no era así. Sin embargo, de re pente, dejó de tener importancia.
Anthony estaba cansado del pasado, cansado de los sórdidos detalles de la vida de un hombre al que no co nocía.
Lo único que tenía que hacer era decidirse y, desde ese momento en adelante, reanudar su vida como un hombre con integridad. Podía tener una segunda opor tunidad, un nuevo comienzo.
Anthony se metió la mano en el bolsillo y, con cui dado, sacó la seda azul del envoltorio. Mirando a Candy a los ojos, dijo:
—Cuando vi esto, pensé en ti; aunque sé que no tiene nada de especial, ya que pienso en ti constante mente... En fin, Candy, lo que estoy tratando de decir es que te quiero. Cásate conmigo.
La oyó respirar profundamente y contener el aire.
—Lo digo con todo mi corazón —añadió Anthony —. Te amo. Y creo que tú también me quieres. Sé que in tentas no quererme, pero no puedes evitarlo, ¿ver dad?
—Oh, Anthony...
—Te amo con locura —dijo él.
— Anthony, crees que me amas...
—No, no es que lo crea, es así. Es de verdad, Anthony. Como tú misma has dicho, vamos a tener dos hijas. Quiero empezar una nueva vida, crear algo sólido. No me condenes por un pasado que pertenece a otro hom bre. Te necesito.
Candy se quedó mirando al pañuelo que tenía en las manos.
—¿Te acuerdas cuando, el otro día, te pregunté si siempre me había gustado el mar? Tú contestaste con que lo importante era si me gustaba ahora, ¿no? Y te nías razón, Candy. Lo importante es mi vida a partir de ahora, es cómo voy a vivirla.
— Anthony...
—¿Me quieres? —insistió él—. Olvídate del hombre que conociste en el pasado. ¿Quieres al hombre que está sentado contigo aquí, esta noche? ¿Me quieres?
Candy acarició el pañuelo; luego, alzó el rostro y lo miró. Por fin, casi como un suspiro, contestó: —Sí.
Candy podía oírle por las noches dando vueltas en la cama y murmurando dormido.
El sentido común le decía que, algún día, recupera ría la memoria. Pero no importaba, ya se enfrentarían a ello juntos.
Candy llevaba el pañuelo azul cuando fueron jun tos a la primera clase de preparación para el parto. No le sorprendió que Anthony fuera el compañero más atrac tivo de la sala; y supuso que tampoco debería sorpren derla que fuera también el más atento.
Ahora que había aceptado casarse con él, la vida había adquirido otro color.
Anthony la amaba, la necesitaba, sus sentimientos ha cia ella eran verdaderos. Candy sabía que podía con tar con él para todo.
En el pasado, le había amado; pero ahora se daba cuenta de que aquel amor había sido infantil, más un sueño que una realidad. Esta vez, su amor era real, era amor por un hombre dedicado a ella y a sus futuros hi jos. Anthony había madurado, pero Candy tenía que re conocer que ella también lo había hecho. Y habían ma durado juntos.
Tenían pensado casarse en tres semanas, hasta que su tía Jenny y su tío Lou pudieran dejar la tienda en Springfield para asistir a la ceremonia en Chicago. Había sido idea de Anthony darles la noticia a sus padres y a su hermano en la fiesta del vigésimo noveno cumpleaños. Y solo faltaba un día para eso. Candy estaba deseando anunciarlo, pero suponía que podía esperar un día más.
Todo estaba saliendo de maravilla.
En ese caso, ¿por qué seguía preocupada?
Quizá fuera porque aún temía que el viejo Anthony despertase. Habían decidido no compartir la misma cama hasta que nacieran las gemelas, pero ya no cerra ban las puertas de sus respectivas habitaciones, por lo menos.
El día de su cumpleaños, Anthony se arregló pronto para la fiesta, pero Candy le obligó a encerrarse en su habitación porque quería decorar ella sola el piso para la celebración antes de que la familia de Anthony llegara.
Condenado a permanecer —en su cuarto, Anthony deci dió echar un vistazo a las cajas con cosas de Albert.
La primera estaba llena de libros. Anthony agarró uno, un libro clásico para niños, una primera edición. Con cuidado pasó las amarillentas hojas, sonriendo al imaginarse a sí mismo leyéndoles el libro a sus hijas. Como estaba seguro de que su hermano no había tenido aquel libro metido en una caja, lo colocó en una estantería.
Con aquel libro, le pasaría a sus hijas algo de su hermano.
La siguiente caja tenía camisas, aún envueltas en celofán, y objetos variados que parecían haber salido del cajón de una cómoda. Entre monedas viejas y alfi leres de corbata, vio una caja de madera que parecía igual a la que él tenía encima de su buró.
Sí, Albert y él tenían cajas idénticas en las que guar dar sus joyas. Puso las cajas juntas y deseó conocer su procedencia. Quizá su madre, o su padre, lo supieran. Abrió la tapa de la de Albert.
En ese momento, Candy llamó a la puerta, pero no la abrió.
—¿ Anthony? Terrence y Susana acaban de llegar, y tus pa dres están subiendo las escaleras.
—Ahora mismo voy —respondió él alzando la voz, y dejó las cajas para otro momento.
—Las hizo mi padre —dijo Will unos minutos más tarde, después de probar la nata de la tarta con un dedo—. También le hizo una a Terrence; pero como él era mayor, la suya era más grande que las vuestras.
—Cosa perfectamente justa —dijo Terrence con una tra viesa sonrisa.
Anthony estaba abriendo el champán y el tapón saltó por los aires con un estruendo. El ruido le evocó algo, y se quedó mirando al tapón, que acabó aterrizando debajo de la mesa. Corchos, una boda... después, nada. Otro recuerdo desvaneciéndose en el aire.
Candy pasó las copas antes de proponer un brindis. Después, fue el turno de Anthony y, con una mano en los hombros de Candy, dio a su familia la noticia de la in minente boda.
Dándose unas palmadas en el vientre, Candy dijo:
—Supongo que esta novia no va a ir de blanco.
—Puedes ir de lo que quieras —le dijo Anthony antes de darle un beso en la nuca—, siempre y cuando te cases conmigo.
—¡Lo sabía! ¡Lo sabía! —gritó Pauna.
Will rió, Terrence advirtió a su hermano sobre las desventajas del matrimonio y se ganó un codazo de su es posa. La única nota de discordia fue la forma como Anthony no parecía poder dejar de mirar al corcho de la botella de champán.
Su padre, algo nervioso, le regaló un diario de piel con sus iniciales.
—Ya sé que no es la clase de regalo que solemos ha certe, hijo; pero has cambiado, y estamos muy orgullo sos de ti.
—Gracias —contestó Anthony a su padre, profunda mente conmovido.
Terrence y Susana le regalaron un reloj, y Candy le pre sentó una rosa roja.
—Es como la flor que me diste el primer día que sa limos juntos —dijo Candy con ojos brillantes—. Pero esta viene con un certificado de la galería Rosa para una foto de familia... que nos sacaremos dentro de unos meses.
Candy volvió a tocarse el vientre.
Sobrecogido, Anthony la besó en los labios.
Mientras todos le cantaban «Cumpleaños Feliz», Anthony se llevó la flor a la nariz. El fuerte perfume le subió a la cabeza y, durante un segundo, sintió un pro fundo deseo de meterse la flor en el bolsillo de la cha queta. Le temblaron las maños y se sintió casi mare ado.
Candy lo miró y le preguntó:
—¿Te pasa algo?
—No lo sé —contestó Anthony.
—Estás un poco raro.
—No te preocupes, no es nada —respondió Anthony, aunque sin poder evitar pensar que algo le estaba ocu rriendo, algo que podía cambiarlo todo.
Horas más tarde, Anthony estaba apoyado en el marco de la puerta de la habitación de Candy, mirán dola. Despacio, se adentró en la habitación y, sigilosa mente, se acercó a la cama. Después, se tumbó al lado de ella y Candy se dio media vuelta hasta quedar de cara a él.
Anthony la abrazó y ella sonrió, pero los ojos de Candy permanecieron cerrados y él dudó de que se hubiera despertado.
Permaneció tumbado un buen rato, oyendo la respi ración de Candy, sintiendo con la mano moverse a una de sus hijas. El pelo de Candy olía a rosas y él ce rró los ojos...
Era de noche y estaba en un coche... el coche co rría... Un espejo a su lado...
Se despertó con sobresalto, con la boca seca y el corazón galopando. Esta vez, había logrado permane cer en el sueño lo suficiente para ver lo que mostraba el espejo.
No se trataba de un reflejo, solo un vacío.
Anthony se levantó de la cama con cuidado, pero no lo suficiente.
—¿ Anthony? —murmuró Candy medio abriendo los ojos.
—Tranquila, vuelve a dormirte —le dijo él acaricián dole el cabello.
—¿Estás bien?
—Sí, estoy bien — Anthony le besó la frente, la quería tanto que casi le dolía—. Vamos, duérmete.
Se quedó mirando la rosa, que estaba encima de su mesilla de noche, aunque todavía no sabía qué era lo que le parecía tan especial. Entonces, tomándolo como una distracción, se fue a examinar el contenido de la caja de Albert.
En la caja había un reloj con las iniciales WAA gra badas: William Albert Andley. También había unos ge melos de oro y un medallón. De repente, le llamó la atención un anillo de oro con una piedra de ónice pu lido.
El anillo era sencillo. Volvió a mirar la rosa. Des pués, se miró la mano y se fijó en el anillo que le ha bían dado después del accidente.
¿Cuánto tiempo pasó allí sentado mirándose la mano? ¿Cuánto tiempo pasó antes de agarrar la rosa y aplastarla al cerrar la mano? ¿Cuánto tiempo tardó en recordar la discusión, la música en la boda, a Candy vestida de azul, a Albert, una bandeja con copas de champán?
Las imágenes pasaron por su mente con más rapi dez.
El amanecer lo encontró junto a la ventana, con la rosa en la mano y el anillo encima de la cama.
Lo único que sus recuerdos tenían en común era que Albert estaba siempre presente en ellos. Lugares en su infancia, cajas idénticas... Candy.
Candy en el club de campo... embarazada... en fadada... asustada... la discusión...
¡Maldito hombre! ¿Cuándo iba a asumir la respon sabilidad de sus actos? ¿Cuándo iba a dejar de hacer daño a la gente?
Y esa mujer, delicada y vulnerable... Desde el pri mer momento que la vio. se dio cuenta de que era es pecial. Recordó la felicidad que sintió cuando ella le habló... y luego su desilusión.
Ya pertenecía a otro hombre, estaba embarazada. ¡Con el hijo de Anthony!
Se acercó al espejo. En el sueño, no había visto nin gún reflejo.
Se miró los ojos. Vio el mismo cabello rubio, la misma nariz, los mismos labios y la misma barbilla que veía todos los días desde que salió del coma. Vio a Albert.
La memoria le volvió como la marea haciendo su bir el nivel de las aguas del mar.
Se miró en el espejo y lo supo todo con certeza. Anthony Andley había muerto en el accidente. Él era **¡ALBERT ANDLEY!**
**CONTINUARÁ...**
* * *
**GRACIAS POR SEGUIRME EN ESTE MINIFIC. ...COMO VARIAS DE USTEDES PIDIERON YA SE RESOLVIÓ EL MISTERIO... Y AHORA ¿CUAL SERÁ LA DECISIÓN DE ALBERT? ¿**
**SALUDOS A:**
**LU DE ANDREW**
**JOSIE **
**RUBI**
**LETITANDREW**
**MILUXD**
**LAILA**
**SARAH LISA**
**PALOMA**
**PATTY CASTILLO**
**PATTY A**
**LIS69**
**LADY SUSI**
**NADIA M. DE ANDREW**
**ALEJANDRA**
** LAURA **
**SAYURI**
**NOEMI CULLEN**
**BLACKCAT 2010**
* * *
**UN ABRAZO EN LA DISTANCIA**
**LIZVET**
11. Chapter 11
_**Capítulo 10**_
LAS IMÁGENES se agolparon en su cabeza. Por fin, Albert logró recordar la secuencia de acontecimientos la noche del accidente.
Albert. Él era Albert.
Aún le costaba pensar en sí mismo como Albert, no como Anthony...
Anthony estaba ebrio, pero ebrio o sobrio, era muy obstinado. Albert recordó claramente su decisión de que su hermano no fuera solo en el coche en el estado en el que se encontraba. Recordó cómo se había arrojado al interior del coche.
Convencido de que Candy quería atraparlo, Anthony había jurado que no se saldría con la suya. Albert estaba sentado a su lado, enfurecido.
—¡No vas a cambiar nunca! —le había gritado a Anthony—. Mírate, el pilar de la sociedad. Todavía llevas mi anillo de la fraternidad. Me lo quitaste cuando te expulsaron. Pero no me importó, a nadie iba a hacerle daño tu engaño. Pero ahora le has robado a una hermosa mujer el corazón, y el cuerpo, motivado por el mismo egoísmo de siempre, y con la misma cruel dad.
Tan encolerizado estaba que no se dio cuenta de que Anthony había tomado una carretera secundaria. Después de unos kilómetros y de seguir discutiendo, Anthony paró el coche, se quitó el anillo y se lo tiró a Albert. Albert recordó claramente cómo el anillo se estrelló con la puerta del coche que tenía a su lado antes de caer al suelo.
Después, Anthony salió del coche y, tras lanzar un puñetazo al aire, se cayó al suelo.
Albert, asqueado, lo levantó y sentó a Anthony en el asiento contiguo al del conductor. Fue entonces cuando vio el anillo en el suelo. Como había dejado de llevar el suyo de ónice porque la piedra estaba un poco suelta y tenía miedo de perderla, se puso ese anillo.
Y fue por eso por lo que habían confundido sus identidades: el anillo que Anthony llevaba ahora estaba en el dedo de Albert. Además, habían cambiado de posición en el coche y, debido a que llevaban el mismo corte de pelo y la misma ropa, ni siquiera sus padres les habían diferenciado.
Albert, sentado en la cama, recordó el momento en el que Anthony salió de su estupor y agarró el volante. Lucharon y acabaron cayendo por el terraplén a un lado de la carretera. Árboles, un río... después, la in consciencia. El hospital. Candy. Sus padres.
Los ojos le quemaban. ¿Lloraba de alivio por resultar no ser el responsable de la muerte de su hermano? ¿Lloraba de pena porque, bueno o malo, borracho o sobrio, Anthony era su hermano gemelo? ¿O lloraba por Candy y por lo que todo eso iba a significar para ella? Para los dos.
Candy estaba enamorada de Anthony, no de él. Y sus padres le habían enterrado, habían llorado su muerte.
Su vida había sido eliminada. Su despacho de abogados, a menos que Julia hubiera conseguido mantenerlo sin él, su casa, su coche, sus libros... todo.
Ni siquiera Sócrates lo había reconocido. Tenía que recuperar su vida, pero ¿cómo?
Tenía que aclarar su mente, Candy merecía la verdad. Aunque ella lo rechazara ,los sentimientos hacia ella no cambiarían. El la amaba embarazada o no , ella era la mujer que había esperado toda su vida. Ahora tendría que preparar todo para su inminente confesión. Por que él , Albert Andley no era un cobarde. Diría la verdad y asumiría las consecuencias a pesar de que eso significara que Candy se alejase de él. Aunque eso no era lo que deseaba, amaba tanto a Candy que dolía. Se le había calado en su alma en su piel, y la deseaba con desesperación. Pero ahora , todo cambiaría.
* * *
Candy estaba en la terraza de Anthony, apoyada en la barandilla. Mientras contemplaba la bahía, deseó poder comprender lo que estaba pasando.
Dos semanas atrás, Anthony había entrado en su dormitorio por la noche, se había tumbado en su cama y la había abrazado.
¿O había sido un sueño?
Por la mañana, se despertó sola en la cama. Encontró a Anthony sentado a la mesa, una bolsa de viaje a sus pies y una expresión que la asustó.
Le dijo que estaba empezando a recuperar la memoria y, al instante siguiente, le dijo que tenía que ausentarse de la ciudad durante unos días.
Después de ponerse en pie, la abrazó y la besó como nunca antes la había besado: con anhelo, con profunda tristeza y con imposible pasión.
¿O también eso había sido un sueño?
Y cuando ella pronunció su nombre, la expresión de él cambió, era como si le hubiera abofeteado.
Cuatro días más tarde, él regresó y no dio explicación alguna. Pero no era el mismo. No era ni el viejo Anthony ni el nuevo Anthony. Aunque seguía siendo ama ble con ella, estaba distante, como si estuviera preparándose para el día que la dejara... o que ella le dejara a él. Había dejado de ir a la oficina y pasaba horas encerrado en su habitación, examinando las cajas de Albert, con el anillo de ónice de Albert en el dedo.
Candy entró en el cuarto de estar y, cosa rara, vio la puerta del dormitorio de Anthony a medio abrir. Candy, suavemente, la abrió más, al tiempo que llamaba.
—Tenemos que hablar —dijo ella.
—Ahora no...
—Sí, ahora. Si vamos a casarnos dentro de unos días, vas a tener que explicarme algunas cosas; por ejemplo, a qué viene esta mórbida fascinación con las pertenencias de Albert. ¿Es por sentirte culpable por su muerte? ¿No crees que quizá debieras ir al hospital a hablar con el doctor Martin?
Él se la quedó mirando. Candy se sintió incómoda, como si estuviera delante de un desconocido.
—Tienes razón, tenemos que hablar —dijo él—. He cometido un error al dejar que las cosas siguieran así.
De repente, a Candy se le quitaron las ganas de hablar y salió de la habitación.
Él la siguió. La agarró de la muñeca y Candy se volvió.
—Había pensado no decirte nada hasta después del nacimiento de las niñas, pero tienes razón, no podemos casarnos sin que lo sepas.
—¿Sin que sepa qué? —susurró ella.
—Será mejor que te sientes.
—¡Anthony!
Él parpadeó.
—Siéntate —le pidió él en tono de súplica.
—¿Tan malo es que tengo que sentarme? Te has dado cuenta de que no estás enamorado de mí, ¿ver dad? —Candy se secó las lágrimas que habían aflorado a sus ojos—. Sabía que ocurriría esto. Maldita sea, te dejé que me convencieras...
Él la agarró de los brazos.
—¡Candy, silencio! Deja que te lo explique. Tienes que saber...
—¿Saber qué? —preguntó ella con voz tembloroso.
Tras una pausa interminable, él dijo:
—Candy, amor, Anthony está... muerto. Yo soy Albert.
—No.
—Candy...
—Es uno de tus trucos para no tener que casarte con migo. Bien, pues no pienses que...
Albert la hizo sentarse con él. Con tanta ternura como pudo, le contó cómo había ocurrido el accidente, le habló de su viaje a California y le dijo que había ido a su médico para revisar su ficha.
—Hace unos meses me rompí el dedo gordo del pie. Ni mi madre ni mi padre se enteraron, pero el médico me ha vuelto a sacado unos rayos X y... sí, Candy, no hay duda, no se trata de ningún truco. En California, también fui a mi despacho. Julia me reconoció al instante y, lo que es más importante, yo también la reconocí a estado tratando de recordar recorriendo cada lugar sin éxito, pero no podía porque Anthony llevaba una vida social muy diferente a la mía, y esos eran los lugares que frecuentaba mi hermano aquí en Chicago, mientras yo...tenía mi vida hecha en California.
Candy seguía sin parecer convencida del todo.
—La primera vez que te vi fue en la boda de Terrence. Tú llevabas un vestido azul; yo no podía dejar de observarte estabas preciosa y yo no podía quitarte los ojos de encima. Te acercaste a mí y, al confundirme con mi hermano, me dijiste que te había dejado embarazada. No sabes la decepción que me embargó al saber que no podías ser mía. Ese día fue la primera vez que tuve que decirte que yo no era Anthony, esta es la segunda vez. Pero eso cielo, eso no cambia en nada lo que siento por ti.
—Anthony está muerto —dijo Candy sin expresión, como si acabara de enterarse.
—Lleva muerto meses.
—No —dijo ella—. Para mí no, para mí lleva muerto diez minutos.
—Candy, escúchame con atención. Lo que sentimos el uno por el otro empezó después del accidente, nada ha cambiado respecto a eso.
La carcajada de Candy le sorprendió.
—Ha cambiado todo —gritó ella.
—Soy el mismo que hace dos semanas...
—No. Hace dos semanas, eras Anthony y yo llevaba en mi vientre a tus hijas. Después, recuperaste la memoria y te volviste distante y reservado. Eres un desconocido para mí.
—Al darme cuenta de quién era, me sentí muy confuso —respondió Albert—. Necesitaba tiempo para asimilarlo...¿Como podía hacer esto sin perderte?
—¡No me importa! Necesitabas tiempo, ¿verdad? Pues ahora lo necesito yo.
—Pero la boda...
—No va a haber ninguna boda, Anthony. Es decir, Albert —los ojos se la volvieron a llenar de lágrimas—. ¡Ni si quiera sé cómo llamarte!
Albert se había puesto en pie y la rodeó con sus brazos.
—Todo saldrá bien, amor, ya lo verás. En lo único que tienes que pensar es en esto...
Y la besó con todas sus esperanzas, con todo su amor para hacerla ver que lo que sentían el uno por el otro no había cambiado.
Candy casi se cayó al hacer un esfuerzo por soltarse de él.
—Necesito tiempo —repitió ella—. Tú también necesitas tiempo. Dios mío, tienes que decírselo a tus padres... y a la policía.
—Lo sé. Pero te equivocas , no necesito tiempo. Lo único que necesito es a tí.
—Me voy a Springfield.
—¡A Spriengfield!
—Tengo una casa allí, ese era mi plan. Mi tía Jenny y mi tío Lou estarán conmigo.
Albert no se atrevió a tocarla.
—Candy, escúchame. No puedes viajar, la ginecóloga te ha advertido que, cuando se trata de gemelos, es muy posible que el parto sea prematuro. Además, te he prometido que me casaría contigo y que te ayudaría a criar a las niñas. Es una promesa que intento cumplir.
La mirada que ella le lanzó le indicó que la frase no había sido acertada.
—No estás obligado a nada.
—Eso ya lo sé, pero te amo ...te juro que no me importa...
—Y no tienes ningún derecho sobre mí ni sobre mis hijas. ¡No!.
Tras esa rotunda negativa, Candy le dejó solo.
**CONTINUARÁ...**
* * *
**HOLA MIS QUERIDAS POR ESTAR AL PENDIENTE DE ESTA HISTORIA ...****YA ESTAMOS MUY CERCA DEL FINAL . SI YA SÉ QUE EL CAPÍTULO ES UN POCO CORTO, PERO NO HE QUERIDO QUE NUESTROS RUBIOS DISCUTAN TANTO...**
**Lu de Andrew.- **Ufff, si creo que ya cada una de nosotras sabía que era Albert , pero la pregunta es que decidirá Candy ahora que sabe toda la verdad. Será que honrará la memoria del terrible de Anthony o se dará una oportunidad con Albert.
**Letitandrew.-** La idea era callar un tiempo , el mismo le confesó a Candy,sin embargo estaba decidido a contarle la verdad. Bello.
**Sarah Lisa.- **Espero te haya gustado este capítulo. Besos.
**Corner.**- Gracias, que bueno que te agrade esta estado ocupada escribiendo los otros capítulos acerca de Candy , en su papel de Sirona,la diosa del mar. Pero dado que ambos fics están en la recta final,aquí vamos con un avance más.
**Nadia M. de Andrew.**- La verdad ya salió a la luz. Ahora todo está en manos de nuestra testaruda de Candy.
**Rubi**.- Albert confesó y Candy ...pues ...actuó como Candy.
**Alejandra.- **Sí , lo siento por Anthony sin embargo, creo que Albert merece ser el protagonista de nuestra historia.
**Paloma.- **Drama es lo nos gusta nena...
**Josie.**- Albert es nuestro caballero soñado, no le va a ocultar la verdad al menos , no por mucho tiempo.A él no le importa que esté embarazada de otro, él ama a Candy a pesar de su embarazo.
**Soñadora**.- Gracias por tan hermoso detalle . Tus palabras me animan a seguir adelante. Un abrazo.
**Patty Castillo.- **Creo que la boda tendrá que esperar o tal vez Albert se arrebate una vez obtenga la respuesta de lo veremos.
**Patty A.**-He tratado, Patty, sin embargo muy a mi pesar a veces las situaciones reales nos detienen un poco, sin embargo aquí me tienes cumpliendo una promesa: Concluir cada fic que publique. Ya viste nena que la reacción de Candy no ha sido lo que esperaba Albert.
**Laila.- **Aquí te alivio un poco de la incógnita, solo queda saber si Candy aceptará casarse o se irá de viaje a Springfield. Nos hablamos
Un abrazo a cada una de mis queridas lectoras anónimas y a aquellas que aunque no dejen comentario alguno , a través de mensajes me animan a seguir.
* * *
UN ABRAZO EN LA DISTANCIA.
LIZVET
12. Chapter 12
_**Capítulo 11**_
Candy cerró la puerta de su habitación con llave y empezó a sacar la ropa precipitadamente con los ojos empañados en lágrimas. A medio hacer las maletas, se sentó en la cama y se cubrió el rostro con las manos mientras los sollozos le sacudían el cuerpo. Sus niñas. Las niñas de Anthony. Pero Anthony estaba muerto.
Era como perderle dos veces. Lloró al viejo Anthony y al nuevo Anthony. Lloró su amor perdido.
«No perdido», le susurró una voz interior. «Él está aún aquí, lo único diferente es que tiene otro nombre y un pasado distinto».
Pero Albert estaba ahí porque pensaba que debía estar ahí.«Oh porqué ahora que lo amo, nos viene esta noticia... Él es todo lo que he soñado y querido siempre»
Recordó el día que se conocieron, el terror que sintió al darse cuenta de que lo que sentía por Anthony había aumentado, no disminuido. Pero esos sentimientos no los había provocado Anthony, sino Albert.
Hacía meses que había dejado de amar a Anthony. Todo lo que sentía por el hombre que, en aquellos momentos, estaba en ese piso había empezado en la boda de Terrence y había crecido con el accidente, exacta mente como él había dicho.
Pero ya no importaba. A pesar de lo que dijera, Albert solo quería casarse con ella porque lo consideraba correcto, no porque la amase.
Debía irse, no podría quedarse y mirarlo a los ojos, sabiendo que las niñas no eran hijas suyas. No podria soportar su compasión y su sentido de responsabilidad porque lo que mas deseaba de ese hombre era su lío!
«Eso te pasa , Candy por ser tan buena samaritana, ahora que ya sabes la verdad , tu corazón roto no habrá quien lo sane», gimió consigo misma.
Albert llamó a la puerta.
—Candy, sé razonable. ¡No puedes conducir hasta Springfield tú sola!
—Déjame —contestó ella, y siguió haciendo las maletas.
— puedo Candy, es que no lo entiendes. Te amo. No te des por vencida ahora, cielo.
Candy se detuvo al tocar el pañuelo azul que Albert le había regalado.
-Lo siento Albert, pero estar juntos en estos instantes no me permite pensar con claridad. Debo irme, no iré a Springfield estaré lo que deseo.
-Princesa...
Albert vio en los ojos de Candy que su decisión estaba tomada. Ella tenía razón, no merecía ser forzada. Así que le dejó el paso libre hacia fuera del departamento.
Candy cogió su pequeña maleta y lo introdujo en su auto.
-Candy...-suplicó Albert- al menos déjame ayudarte a instalarte donde sea que vayas. No puedo permitir que vayas sola en tu estado. Te prometo que luego me iré.Y esta vez yo conduzco.
Candy no puso objeción alguna, sentía que su decisión flaqueaba. «No, se dijo a sí misma, debo ser fuerte por mis niñas».
Cuando Albert , dejó instalada a Candy en su habitación. Se retiró , mas no se fue del lugar. Estaba preocupado por ella. No quería abandonarla.
Candy sintió un líquido caliente correrle por las piernas y gritó.
—¡Oh, no! —gimió ella—. No, no, no. Ahora no, no.
Pero la sensación continuó, seguida de una primera contracción. Al parecer, sus hijas estaban decididas a nacer en Chicago. Más lágrimas le resbalaron por las mejillas mientras, sin éxito, trataban de practicar las técnicas de respiración para el parto.
Albert que había escuchado su llanto,desde el otro lado de la puerta, llamó preocupado.
-Candy... por favor , abre princesa...
Por fin, Candy abrió la puerta.
—Estoy de parto —dijo ella sin más preámbulos.
A Albert le llevó unos segundos asimilar esas palabras.
—¿Las niñas van a nacer?
—Será mejor que me lleves al hospital.
—Primero voy a llamar a la ginecóloga —dijo él con una nota de alarma en la voz.
—Date prisa.
Mientras Albert corría al teléfono y hacía la llamada, Candy agarró una toalla del cuarto de baño y luego levantó su maleta. Albert regresó rápidamente y le quitó la maleta; al hacerlo, sus manos se tocaron. Entonces, Albert bajó la cabeza y la besó en la mejilla.
—Esto no cambia nada —le advirtió Candy—. No voy a quedarme. Tan pronto como... podamos viajar...
—Ya hablaremos de eso en otro momento —le interrumpió él.
Durante unos momentos, se mantuvieron la mirada. Candy estaba pensando que él no era el padre de sus hijas, que su vida estaba en California y que incluso podía tener una novia allí.
—¿Quién es Julia?
Albert arqueó las cejas antes de contestar.
—Mí socia en el despacho.
—¿Eso es todo lo que es para ti?
—Fuimos novios...
Pero Albert se interrumpió cuando ella lanzó un gemido al sentir otra contracción.
—Respira hondo —dijo él—. Recuerda, tienes que concentrarte. Bien, agárrate a mi mano... así...
Candy hizo lo que él le decía y empezó a calmarse.
—Cielo, tenemos que irnos.
Y Albert tenía toda la razón.
* * *
Albert había agilizado todo para que Candy sea atendida sin demora. La habitación del parto estaba lista y ella gemía debido al dolor de las contracciones.
Candy estaba agradecida que a pesar de el dolor y los gritos ,él no se apartara de su lado.
—Lo estás haciendo muy bien —dijo Albert.
Candy estaba confusa. La verdad era que nunca había tenido intimidad con ese hombre y ahí estaba, ayudándola en el parto.
—Vamos, empuja otra vez —le dijo la ginecóloga.
Candy le clavó las uñas a Albert en el brazo y empujó.
El llanto de un bebé anunció el nacimiento de su primera hija.
—¡Es perfecta! —dijo la doctora.
La ginecóloga tomó a la niña en sus brazos y se la enseñó a Albert y a Candy. Candy vio una inmensa ternura en los ojos de Albert al mirar a la pequeña, una ternura que le llegó al corazón.
—Voy a llamarla Elizabeth como mi madre.
Albert le dio un apretón en el hombro.
—Bueno, aún queda una dentro —anunció la doctora—. Vamos a trabajar.
Después de más ayuda para respirar y más empujar, Candy dio a luz otra criatura. De repente, la sala quedó en silencio. Durante unos momentos, Candy pensó en todos los horrores imaginables... hasta que la ginecóloga rió.
—Estaba equivocada, Candy. No son dos niñas, sino niño y niña. ¡Este es un chico y es igual que su padre!
Todos se volvieron para mirar a Albert, Candy incluida. Las lágrimas corrieron por las mejillas de Albert mientras contemplaba a su sobrino. A Candy se le en cogió el corazón. Deberían ser sus hijos, pensó Candy. Los hijos de Albert.
—¿Y éste, cómo se va a llamar? —preguntó la doctora.
—Anthony —contestó Albert al instante—, como su padre.
Momentáneamente perpleja, Candy miró a Albert, que aún seguía con los ojos clavados en su sobrino.
Pronto, Candy se vio con sus dos hijos en los brazos; uno con un gorro azul y la otra con un gorro rosa. ¡Cómo si no se les pudiera distinguir! No eran gemelos, sino mellizos. Elizabeth era rubia y no tenía casi pelo, pequeña y delicada como una flor. Y lloró hasta que Candy le dio de mamar, pero Candy tuvo el presentimiento de que aquella niña iba a darle mucho trabajo.
Anthony, por el contrario, era más rubio y más tranquilo. Parpadeó varias veces mientras una enfermera lo tenía cerca de Candy para que ésta pudiera agarrarle la mano y verle los azules ojos. El niño le recordó a su padre.
No, no a su padre, sino a su tío. El niño se parecía a Albert.
Candy se volvió para decírselo.
Pero Albert se había marchado.
* * *
Albert estaba sentado al lado de la cama de Candy, esperando a que despertara, lo mismo que ella había hecho con él. Había dos cunas en la habitación, cada una con uno de sus sobrinos, ambos tan dormidos como su madre. Era difícil imaginar un lugar en el mundo más seguro que aquella habitación, pensó Albert.
El único problema era que tenía miedo de perderlos.
De repente, Candy abrió sus verdes ojos y los clavó en él.
—Mis niños...
—Están aquí, durmiendo. Son preciosos.
Candy se incorporó hasta sentarse en la cama y miró a sus hijos. Sus labios esbozaron una radiante sonrisa, que se desvaneció al volver a clavar los ojos en Albert.
—Albert, te marchaste sin avisar. ¿Adonde fuiste?
—Fui a casa de mis padres para decirles lo de los niños... y también lo de Anthony. Como puedes imaginar, les ha impresionado mucho. Les llevará un tiempo adaptarse, pero se recuperarán. Yo los ayudaré. Después, he ido a la oficina para aclarar la situación y también para decirles que tengo intención de visitar al fiscal del distrito para contarle lo del coche de Dalton.
—Has estado muy ocupado.
Él se echó a reír.
—Nada comparado con lo que va a pasar cuando vaya a hablar con el detective Hill. No va a creerme. Candy bajó el rostro y se miró las manos.
—Albert, ¿quién es Julia?
—Ya te lo he dicho, mi socia en el despacho.
—¿Y tu novia?
—Eso fue hace mucho tiempo.
—Pero sé que está embarazada.
—Sí, su marido la ha dejado embarazada, Candy. Lleva tres años casada, con un tipo majísimo. Te van a gustar los dos.
Candy volvió a sonreír; esta vez, a él.
Albert se preguntó si llegaría a acostumbrarse a la forma como la sonrisa de Candy le llegaba al corazón. Lo dudaba.
Uno de los bebés se despertó con un suave, pero exigente llanto. Albert descubrió que se trataba de Elizabeth y la levantó en sus brazos. Era la primera vez en la vida que Albert sostenía en sus brazos a un bebé y le sorprendió lo bien que lo hacía. Besó la dulce cabeza de la criatura.
—Aquí tienes a nuestra hija, Candy.
—Elizabeth —dijo ella con amor en los ojos—. Me recuerda a mi madre: menuda, rubia y cabezota.
Candy besó a la niña en la mejilla y Albert contuvo la respiración.
Después, mirándolo, Candy murmuró:
—Y su hermano es como tú.
—Bueno... Anthony y yo éramos idénticos, como ya sabes. Espero que no te haya molestado que me haya tomado la libertad de ponerle el nombre.
—No —dijo ella.
Desde la cuna, Anthony gimió. Inmediatamente, Albert fue a rescatarlo. El niño calló al tiempo que clavaba sus azules ojos en el rostro de Albert.
Era un niño precioso.
—Los dos van a necesitar un padre.
Albert no se dio cuenta de que había pronunciado esas palabras en voz alta hasta que Candy respondió.
—Estás tratando de asumir la responsabilidad de Anthony —dijo ella con voz temblorosa—. Pero no es necesario, saldremos adelante.
Albert volvió a sentarse en la silla al lado de la cama, sujetando al niño con un brazo. La otra mano la puso en la mejilla de Candy.
—Escúchame con atención, Candy. Cuando recuperé la memoria, me encantó ser yo otra vez. Quería recuperar mi vida, mi propia identidad. Fue por eso por lo que fui a California. A pesar de que mis padres dispusieron de todo lo mío a conciencia, no hay nada que no pueda recuperar. Si me marchara hoy, dentro de un mes tendría mi vida de vuelta.
—¿Cuándo te marchas? —preguntó ella con voz queda.
—Esa es la cuestión. Debido a la amnesia, he cambiado. Me he enamorado. Mi vida en California ya no tiene sentido, y menos para un hombre con una familia. Candy, ¿entiendes lo que estoy tratando de decirte?
Albert vio indecisión en su expresión.
Candy seguía sin estar convencida de sus motivos.
—Estoy diciendo que te amo, Candy. Y si la única forma de tenerte es estar amnésico perdido, me volveré a dar un golpe en la cabeza contra una piedra o contra lo que sea.
—Estás enamorado de mí —dijo ella con reverencia en la voz.
—Eso es, te quiero. Te amo. Y voy a preguntártelo otra vez, Candy, ¿me quieres? ¿Quieres al hombre que tienes delante de ti?¿Me amas?
Candy lo miró a los ojos, unos ojos azules que siempre le habían traspasado el corazón. Ese hombre se parecía a Anthony en muchas cosas; sin embargo, era completamente diferente.
Ese hombre jamás había sido deshonesto, ni con ella ni consigo mismo.
Nunca.
En ese caso, ¿no era lógico llegar a la conclusión de que estaba diciendo la verdad, que realmente la amaba?
—Cielo, ¿cómo no voy a quererte? —contestó Candy, de repente segura de su amor.
—Entonces, ¿te casarás conmigo?
—Sí —dijo ella sonriendo—. Naturalmente que sí.
A pesar de tener a los niños en sus brazos, consiguieron unir sus labios. El beso estuvo lleno de felicidad y amor. Después, pasaron mucho tiempo mirándose, como si les costara mucho trabajo romper esa unión que habían establecido con sus corazones. Albert volvió a besarla.
Candy se separó de él al oír ruido en el pasillo.
—¿Qué será eso?
Albert pareció ligeramente incómodo.
—En un par de segundos, la puerta se va a abrir. Mis padres vienen acompañados de un cura, Terrence trae champán y yo he traído la licencia para casarnos.
Albert se metió una mano en el bolsillo que tenía justo debajo del cuerpo de su sobrino y sacó un anillo que deslizó en el dedo de Candy.
A Candy le gustaron los bonitos pétalos de oro alrededor del brillante.
—¿Te importa mucho que tus tíos no estén presentes? Si quieres, podríamos retrasarla. En fin, tú de cides.
Candy enderezó los ojos ligeramente y se ajustó el camisón.
—Nosotros cuatro estamos aquí, y supongo que eso es lo más importante. Dios mío, Albert, ¿no estoy soñando?
—No, tesoro. Puedes apostar lo que quieras.
Candy necesitaba decir una cosa más.
—Albert, te adoro. Y, desde este momento en adelante, en lo que a mí respecta, Elizabeth y Anthony son tan hijos tuyos como míos. Son nuestros hijos.
Candy le secó las lágrimas que le corrieron a Albert por las mejillas antes de que él bajara la cabeza para besarla de nuevo. Candy deseó que aquel beso durara eternamente.
De repente, la puerta se abrió y ambos bebés se despertaron.
Después, la boda fue como la mayoría de las bodas... a excepción de un novio con una camisa prestada y una novia que, gracias a la sábana que se subió hasta la barbilla, iba de blanco.
Pero lo más importante fue que se hicieron promesas y votos, intercambiaron miradas, lloraron y se besaron tiernamente.
En conjunto, fue una perfecta mezcla de tradición e improvisación... con un futuro de felicidad.
**FIN**
* * *
**MILES DE GRACIAS A CADA UNA DE USTEDES . ES UN HONOR PODER COMPARTIR HISTORIAS AFINES A NUESTROS RUBIOS.**
**DESEO DE TODO CORAZÓN QUE ESTA HISTORIA HAYA ALEGRADO SU DÍA. **
**A CADA UNA DE LAS LECTORAS, QUE POR ESTE MEDIO HE LLEGADO A CONOCER Y QUE LAS CONSIDERO MIS AMIGAS: GRACIAS POR DARME UN ESPACIO EN ESTE MUNDO MARAVILLOSO DE CANDY Y ALBERT.**
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LU DE ANDREW,
MILUxD,
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NADIA M. DE ANDREW
PATTY A.
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LAILA
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End file.
| fanfiction |
pulmonary arterial hypertension ( pah ) is of clinical significance in connective tissue disease because of its high mortality . early but
not late stage of pah associated with systemic lupus erythematosus ( sle ) or mixed connective tissue disease ( mctd ) has been shown to respond to immunosuppressive therapy .
we herein present a case of mctd - associated pah progressing to who functional class iv despite intensive medication with vasodilators , who was treated with glucocorticoid plus intravenous cyclophosphamide ( ivcy ) .
a 34-year - old japanese woman had a diagnosis of mctd with the presence of raynaud 's phenomenon , pancytopenia , elevated plasma creatinine kinase , and antibodies against u1-ribonucleoprotein in 2005 and received 10 mg of prednisolone daily .
pulmonary arterial systolic pressure estimated by echocardiography was slightly elevated ( 48 mmhg ) in 2006 .
pulmonary arterial hypertension was diagnosed with 74 mmhg of mean pulmonary arterial pressure ( mpap ) evaluated by right heart catheterization ( rhc ) in 2012 .
cyclophosphamide - based immunosuppressive therapy was proposed but refused because of possible early menopausal symptoms .
treatment with 250 mg / day of bosentan and 120 g / day of beraprost was initiated .
however , in january 2014 , her dyspnea deteriorated ( who functional class iv ) , and she was admitted to our hospital .
a physical examination showed low systemic blood pressure ( 89/61 mmhg ) , tachycardia ( 104/min ) , low blood oxygen level ( percutaneous oxygen saturation ( spo2 ) 95% ) , jugular venous distension , and severe systemic edema .
laboratory examinations showed elevated plasma brain natriuretic peptide ( bnp ) level ( 929.4 pg / ml ) , hypoxemia ( pao2 62.5 mmhg , paco2 27.1 mmhg ) , and the presence of antibodies against u1-ribonucleoprotein ( 97.9 u / ml ) as well as antinuclear antibodies ( 1:640 , speckled pattern ) .
rhc demonstrated elevated mpap ( 65 mmhg ) with normal pulmonary arterial wedge pressure ( 12 mmhg ) , high pulmonary vascular resistance ( 1,547 dyneseccm ) , and decreased cardiac output ( cardiac index 1.69 l / min / m ) .
no signs of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease or interstitial lung diseases were found with computed tomography .
her dyspnea was therefore considered to be due to mctd - associated pah which was refractory to bosentan and beraprost therapy .
bnp : brain natriuretic peptide , fc : functional class , ivcy : intravenous cyclophosphamide , psl : prednisolone , 6mwd : 6-minute walking distance in addition to supportive therapy with oxygen supplementation and diuretics ( 40 mg / day of furosemide ) , initiation of 60 mg / day of sildenafil as well as gradual increment in the dose of beraprost was chosen as an additional treatment .
ivcy ( 750 mg / m , every 4 weeks ) was initiated , and the dose of prednisolone was increased to 60 mg daily .
her dyspnea then ameliorated , and she became able to undergo the 6-minute walk test ( 260 m , minimum spo2 95 % ) .
six months after the admission , a follow - up rhc revealed improved mpap ( 65 to 53 mmhg ) , pulmonary vascular resistance ( 1,547 to 1,116 dyneseccm ) , and cardiac index ( 1.69 to 1.83 l / min / m ) ( table ) . since she remained stable but did not obtain further improvements 18 months after the admission ( table )
ci : cardiac index , co : cardiac output , d : diastolic , epasp : estimated pulmonary arterial systolic pressure , m : mean , pap : pulmonary arterial pressure , pawp : pulmonary arterial wedge pressure , pvr : pulmonary vascular resistance , rad : right atrial diameter , rvdd : right ventricular end - diastolic diameter , s : systolic , tapse : tricuspid annular plane systolic excursion
sle- or mctd - associated pah , in contrast to other forms of pah , has been shown to respond to immunosuppressive therapy ( 1,2 ) ; however , its clinical indication remains to be determined . in a retrospective study with 23 sle- or mctd - associated pah patients performed by jais et al .
( 3 ) , all responders to ivcy were in who functional class iii or less . furthermore , the cardiac index was significantly higher in responders than in nonresponders . considering these results ,
immunosuppressive therapy was recommended for patients with less severe pah in who functional class iii or less and with a cardiac index of 3.1 l / min / m or more . in another observational cohort study comprising 13 patients with connective tissue disease - associated pah ( 4 ) , no patients in who functional class iv received immunosuppressive therapy .
in contrast to these previous reports , our case responded to treatment with glucocorticoid and ivcy despite who functional class iv pah , a markedly decreased cardiac index , and refractoriness to combined vasodilators .
currently there are two previous case reports of sle- or mctd - associated who functional class iv pah successfully treated with glucocorticoid and ivcy in conjunction with up - front triple combination therapy comprising intravenous prostacyclin analogue , endothelin receptor antagonist , and phosphodiesterase type 5 inhibitor ( 5,6 ) .
our case , particularly with regard to the refractoriness to combined vasodilation , further supports the efficacy of immunosuppressive therapy for severe pah associated with sle or mctd .
another aspect of this case is that intervention with immunosuppressive therapy would have been more effective had it been initiated earlier .
although pah is characterized by pulmonary vasculopathy , the symptoms and survival are determined by the right ventricle 's ability to adapt to afterloads .
from this point of view , the assessment of the right heart function - including hemodynamics , exercise capacity , plasma bnp level , and echocardiography - is critical for evaluating the efficacy of treatment and the prognosis of pah ( 7 ) . despite the response to immunosuppressive therapy ,
our case was still in who functional class iii and had a decreased cardiac index , reduced 6-minute walk distance , elevated plasma bnp level , and echocardiographic abnormalities 18 months after admission .
considering these factors , this case was still at high risk of disease progression , and further treatment , such as parenteral prostanoids and lung transplantation , needed to be considered to improve these parameters to the level expected in who functional class ii or less ( 7 ) .
the regimen of ivcy for sle- or mctd - associated pah also remains to be established . in previous studies and case reports , the dose , interval , and duration of ivcy for sle- or mctd - associated pah were 500 to 1,000 mg / m per pulse , monthly in most cases , and 3 to 12 months , respectively ( 1,3 - 5,8 - 17 ) .
late relapse is another problem in immunosuppressive therapy for sle- or mctd - associated pah , with a reported occurrence in 25% to 40% of patients receiving glucocorticoid and/or ivcy during glucocorticoid tapering or several months after the last pulse of ivcy ( 2,3,18 ) .
our case remained stable for at least 1 year since the last pulse of ivcy with 12.5 mg / day of prednisolone without any other immunosuppressive medications .
pathological changes occurring in pah include remodeling of arterioles , vascular smooth muscle hypertrophy , adventitial and neointimal proliferation , in situ thrombosis , and plexiform lesions ( 19,20 ) .
in addition to these pathological changes , pulmonary fibrosis , vasculitis of the pulmonary artery to vein , and anti - endothelial cell antibodies are observed in mctd - associated pah ( 21 ) .
the pathological diversity of mctd - associated pah may reflect the clinical response to either or both vasodilators and immunosuppressive therapy .
the present case report suggests the potential efficacy of immunosuppressive therapy for patients with mctd - associated pah , even if they have severe dyspnea , exercise intolerance , or cardiac dysfunction . | pubmed |
nuclear symmetry energy , a part of the equation of state ( eos ) in the nuclear matter equation , has been extensively studied in the last three decades .
the symmetry energy relates to many subjects such as in nuclear astrophysics , nuclear structure , and nuclear reactions .
its property determination is a key objective in laboratory experiments @xcite .
investigations of the symmetry energy , especially focusing on its density dependence , have been conducted using many observables such as isotopic yield ratios @xcite , isospin diffusion @xcite , neutron - proton emission ratios @xcite , giant monopole resonances @xcite , pygmy dipole resonances @xcite , giant dipole resonances @xcite , collective flows @xcite and isoscaling @xcite .
different observables may probe the properties of the symmetry energy at different densities and temperatures . in a theoretical work of the eos study , wiringa et al .
@xcite pointed out that the density dependence of the symmetry energy may have different slope parameters in different higher density regions .
when a three body interaction is taken into account , the symmetry energy shows a significant softening at @xmath6 , hardening again at @xmath7 and then shows an asymptotic soft trend for the higher density .
therefore it is important to know not only the values of the symmetry energy and slope parameter or the exponent of the density dependent terms , but also the density and temperature of the system when the values are evaluated . in one of our previous works , the density dependence of the symmetry energy at low densities
were experimentally studied in several heavy ion reactions at 47 mev / nucleon , using the light particles ( @xmath8 ) from the intermediate velocity source as the probe @xcite . in that study the temperature in the region 5@xmath910 mev
was evaluated from the double ratio thermometer and the density of @xmath10 was extracted from the coalescence technique . in the sampled density and temperature intervals ,
symmetry energies were derived and nonzero symmetry energies were obtained at low densities . however in the quasiparticle approaches , such as skyrme hartree - fock and relativistic mean field models or dirac - brueckner hartree - fock calculations , the symmetry energy tends to zero at low densities @xcite .
this significant experimentally observed symmetry energy deviation at low densities from those of the quasiparticle predictions can be attributed to the cluster formation which dominates the structure of low - density symmetric matter at low temperatures , in accordance with the mass action law . in violent heavy ion collisions at intermediate energy regime ( 20
@xmath11 a few hundred mev / nucleon ) , intermediate mass fragments ( imfs ) are copiously produced through multifragmentation processes .
nuclear multifragmentation , which in general , can be divided into stages , i.e. , the dynamical compression and expansion of the fragmenting source , and the formation of primary hot fragments , was predicted a long time ago @xcite and has been studied extensively following the advent of 4@xmath12 detectors @xcite .
nuclear multifragmentation occurs when a large amount of energy is deposited in a finite nucleus , and thus it provides important information on the properties of the hot nuclear matter equation of state . to model the multifragmentation process ,
a number of different models have been developed in two distinct scenarios .
one is based on a transport model , in which nucleon propagation in a mean field and nucleon - nucleon collisions under pauli - blocking are two main physical ingredients .
various transport models have been coded , since boltzmann - uehling - uhlenbeck ( buu ) model @xcite was first proposed in 1980s , which is a test particle based monte carlo transport model .
vlasov - uehling - uhlenbeck model ( vuu ) @xcite , boltzmann - nordheim - vlasov model ( bnv ) @xcite are formulated slightly differently with the same concept .
stochastic mean field ( smf ) model @xcite is also a test particle based model , but with fluctuations in multifragmentation process . instead of using the test particles ,
gaussian wave packets are introduced in describing the nucleons such as quantum molecular dynamics model ( qmd ) @xcite . constrained molecular dynamics(comd )
model @xcite and improved quantum molecular dynamics model ( imqmd ) @xcite are based on qmd , but an improved treatment is made on the pauli blocking during the time evolution of the reaction .
fermionic molecular dynamics(fmd ) @xcite and anti - symmetrized molecular dynamics ( amd ) @xcite are most sophisticated models , in which the pauli principle is taken into account in an exact manner in the time evolution of the wave packet and nucleon - nucleon collisions .
most of them can account reasonably well for many characteristic properties experimentally observed . on the other hand statistical multifragmentation models such as microcanonical metropolitan monte carlo model ( mmmc ) @xcite and statistical multifragmentation model(smm ) @xcite , based on a quite different assumption from the transport models , can also describe many experimental observables well .
the statistical models use a freeze - out concept .
the multifragmentation is assumed to take place in equilibrated nuclear matter described by parameters , such as size , neutron / proton ratio , density and temperature . in recent analyses
the parameters are optimized to reproduce the experimental observables of the final state .
in contrast , the transport models do not assume any chemical or thermal equilibration .
nucleons travel in a mean field experiencing nucleon - nucleon collisions subject to the pauli principle .
fragmentation mechanisms are determined by the evolutions of the wave pockets or nucleons in the phase space , which also differ from those of the statistical models .
one of the complications one has to face when comparing the experimental observables to the model predictions in either dynamical or statistical models , is the secondary decay process .
when fragments are formed in a multifragmentation process , many of them can be in excited states and cool down by evaporation processes before they are detected experimentally @xcite . here
the fragments at the time of formation are called `` primary '' fragments .
those observed after the cooling process are called the `` secondary '' or `` final '' fragments .
multifragmentation process is a very fast process which occurs in an order of 50 - 100 fm / c in the intermediate energy heavy ion collisions , whereas the secondary decay process is much slower .
therefore the secondary cooling process may significantly alter the fragment yield distributions of the primary isotopes @xcite .
even though the statistical decay process itself is rather well understood and well coded , it is not a trivial task to combine it with a dynamical code .
that is because the statistical evaporation codes assume the nuclei at thermal equilibrium with normal nuclear density and shapes .
however these conditions are not guaranteed for fragments when they are formed in the multifragmentation process . in order to avoid this complication and make the comparisons between results from the experimental data and different models more straight forward ,
we proposed a method in which the primary hot fragment yields are reconstructed experimentally .
the method utilizes a kinematic focusing of the evaporated particles along the precursors of imfs . in fermi energy heavy ion collisions , light particles are emitted at different stages of the reaction and from different sources during the evolution of the collisions .
those from an excited isotope are kinematically focused into a cone centered along the isotope direction .
the kinematical focusing technique uses this nature .
details of the experiment , the kinematical focusing technique and the results are presented in refs .
@xcite . in that work ,
the events triggered by imfs in the experiment are `` inclusive '' , but they belong to a certain class of events . in order to determine the event class taken in the experiment ,
amd simulations are used to evaluate the impact parameter range sampled .
firstly the impact parameter distributions , corresponding violent , semi - violent , semi - peripheral and peripheral collisions are calculated .
the violence of the reaction for each event in the amd simulation is determined in the same way as our previous work @xcite .
then the impact parameter distribution of the events triggered by the imfs at @xmath13 is calculated and compared to those corresponding to the different violence .
the distribution is very similar to those of the semi - violent collisions , in which the majority of the events originates from the impact parameter range of @xmath14 fm .
therefore in the following analyses , the comparisons of the extracted parameters from the experimentally reconstructed isotope yields are made with those of the amd simulations in the impact parameter range of @xmath14 fm . in fig .
[ fig : isotopic_distribution ] .
the results of the multiplicity distributions of the experimental cold and reconstructed hot isotopes are shown , together with those of the primary isotopes simulated by the amd calculations .
the reconstructed isotope multiplicities are reasonably well reproduced by the primary isotope distribution of the amd simulation . in refs .
@xcite , we studied the properties of the fragmenting system through the symmetry energy coefficient relative to the temperature , @xmath2 . in the study
the @xmath2 values were extracted in a simpler formalism , utilizing three isobars of the reconstructed primary hot fragments with @xmath15 and 3 .
this article presents an improved method to calculate the @xmath2 values , in which the mass dependence of the temperature is taken into account as an apparent temperature .
this method has been applied recently to the simulated amd events of the very central collisions for @xmath16 at 35 mev / nucleon @xcite . a self - consistent determination of density , symmetry energy and temperature described in refs .
@xcite was also employed there . in this work the same procedure following ref .
@xcite is applied to the experimentally reconstructed isotope yields of @xmath17 at 40 mev / nucleon to study the characteristic properties of the hot nuclear matter in the multifragmenting system .
this article is organized as follows . in sec.ii
we describe the improved method to determine the symmetry energy coefficient relative to the temperature , @xmath2 , utilizing all isotope yields . in sec.iii , a self - consistent determination of density ,
symmetry energy and temperature is discussed . in sec.iv ,
the mass dependent apparent temperature is studied .
finally , a summary is given in sec.v .
in order to make a connection between the symmetry energy in a model and the experimentally reconstructed primary hot isotope yields in fig . [ fig : isotopic_distribution ] , the modified fisher model ( mfm ) is employed @xcite .
mfm has been used to study the characteristic properties of the hot nuclear matter in the previous works @xcite . in the framework of mfm
, the yield of an isotope with @xmath19 and @xmath20 ( @xmath21 neutrons and @xmath22 protons ) produced in a multifragmentation reaction , can be given as @xmath23 .
\end{split } \label{eq : eq_mfm}\ ] ] using the generalized weizs@xmath24cker - bethe semiclassical mass formula @xcite , @xmath25 can be approximated as @xmath26 in eq . ,
@xmath27 and @xmath28 originate from the increases of the entropy and the mixing entropy at the time of the fragment formation , respectively .
@xmath29 ( @xmath30 ) is the neutron ( proton ) chemical potential .
@xmath31 is the critical exponent . in this work ,
the value of @xmath32 is adopted from the previous studies @xcite . since we apply this formulation for the primary hot fragments , the coefficients , @xmath33 , @xmath34 , @xmath35 , @xmath36 and the chemical potentials , are generally temperature and density dependent , even though these dependencies are not shown explicitly . in this formulation a constant volume process at an equilibrium is assumed in the free energy , and therefore the term `` symmetry energy '' is used throughout this work , following ref . @xcite .
if one assumes a constant pressure at the equilibrium process @xcite , the therm `` symmetry enthalpy '' should be used .
experimentally , whether the equilibrium process takes place at constant pressure or volume can not be determined , and thus we use `` symmetry energy '' through out the paper , keeping in mind the ambiguity @xcite . in the previous analyses
@xcite , the temperature in eq . was assumed to be identical to the temperature of the fragmenting source and treated as a constant for all isotopes .
however as seen in ref .
@xcite , this temperature turns out to be fragment mass dependent .
this mass dependence on the temperature was not recognized in these previous analyses , just because the mass dependence was masked by the larger error bars .
however in this improved method , the error bars become small and the mass dependence becomes evident . in order to take into account this mass dependence of the temperature in eq . , the temperature @xmath37 is replaced by an apparent temperature @xmath38 .
@xmath39 is the temperature of the fragmenting source and k is a constant . as discussed in ref .
@xcite , this mass dependence of the apparent temperature is attributed to the system size effect . in order to study the density , temperature and symmetry energy in the fragmenting source , the improved mfm of eq .
is utilized to calculate the @xmath18 value , which is extracted from the available isotope yields . since the @xmath18 value in eqs . and depends on 5 parameters , @xmath33 , @xmath34 , @xmath40 , @xmath36 and @xmath41 ( @xmath42 ) , the optimization process of these parameters is divided into the following three steps to minimize the ambiguity of each parameter . for a given @xmath43 value , 1 .
optimize @xmath44 and @xmath45 values from mirror isobars .
2 . optimize @xmath46 , @xmath47 and @xmath48 values from @xmath49 isotopes .
3 . using extracted parameters in step ( 1 ) and step ( 2 ) ,
@xmath18 values are extracted from all available isotopes . comparing the extracted @xmath18 values from the amd simulations with three different interactions ,
the density of the fragmenting source is extracted . using this density ,
the value of the symmetry energy coefficient , @xmath35 , for each interaction is determined .
the temperature is then extracted following the relation , @xmath50 .
it is expectable that if the @xmath43 value is properly selected which means the mass dependence is well considered , a constant @xmath39 is obtained . since the @xmath43 value is small as seen below , we perform the optimization of the parameter @xmath43 in an iterative manner , that is , in the first round @xmath51 is set in @xmath38 and calculate the temperature as a function of @xmath20 , using steps ( 1)-(3 ) . from this plot
a new @xmath52 value is extracted from the slope . in the second round
, @xmath53 is used for the steps ( 1)-(3 ) and a new @xmath54 value is extracted . if the new @xmath54 value is 0 within a given error range , the iteration stops and the @xmath55 value is fixed as the mass dependent parameter of the apparent temperature and @xmath39 value is determined .
otherwise the iteration continues .
these procedures are applied individually for the reconstructed isotope yields and the amd simulated events with interactions having different density dependencies of the symmetry energy term , i.e. , the standard gogny interaction which has an asymptotic soft symmetry energy ( g0 ) , the gogny interaction with an asymptotic stiff symmetry energy ( g0as ) and the gogny interaction with an asymptotic super - stiff symmetry energy ( g0ass ) @xcite . to keep consistent with experimental isotope selections , for amd primary hot fragments ,
an approximate window is employed , in which the multiplicity of the iv source component is calculated by integrating the energy spectra over @xmath56 mev / nucleon and between @xmath57 in the laboratory frame in order to minimize the contribution from the projectile - like and the target - like sources , based on the moving source analysis @xcite .
details of each step are described below . in the step ( 1 ) , following ref .
@xcite , the isotope yield ratio between isobars with @xmath58 and @xmath59 , @xmath60 , is utilized , which is @xmath61/[t_{0}(1-ka ) ] + \delta(i+2,i , a)\ } , \label{eq : eq_ri2}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath62 is the yield of isotopes with @xmath59 and @xmath20 , and @xmath63 . when the above equation is applied for a pair of mirror nuclei of odd mass isotopes with @xmath64 and @xmath59 , the symmetry energy term , pairing term and mixing entropy terms drop out and the following equation is obtained .
@xmath65/i=[\delta\mu+a_{c}(a-1)/a^{1/3}]/[t_{0}(1-ka ) ] .
\label{eq : coulomb}\ ] ] for available mirror isobars with i=1 and -1 , @xmath44 and @xmath45 are optimized in eq .. the @xmath66/i$ ] values and the fit result for @xmath67 is shown in fig.[fig : fig1 ] for the case of the reconstructed isotope yields .
similar results are obtained for the amd simulated events .
/i$ ] versus @xmath20 for mirror nuclei with @xmath68 for the case of the reconstructed isotope yields .
the curve is the fit result of eq . for @xmath67 .
the extracted values of @xmath44 and @xmath45 are given in the third and fifth columns of table [ table : parameters ] . ] in the step ( 2 ) we apply eq . to the @xmath49 isotopes with the extracted @xmath44 and @xmath45 values in the step ( 1 ) .
for @xmath69 isotopes , the free energy relative to the temperature can be calculated from eq . and eq . without the symmetry energy term as @xmath70 \cdot ( 1-ka ) \\ = & \frac{\widetilde{a_{v}}}{t_{0}}a- \frac{a_{s}}{t_{0}}a^{2/3}-\frac{a_{c}}{t_{0}}\frac{a(a-2)}{4a^{1/3}}\\ & - \frac{a_{p}}{t_{0}}\frac{\delta}{a^{1/2}}+ a(1-ka)ln(\frac{1}{2 } ) , \end{split } \label{eq : eq5}\ ] ] where @xmath71 .
the value of @xmath72 $ ] on the right of the second equation can be calculated from the isotope yields when the @xmath31 value is fixed . therefore none zero values of this equation
show the deviation of the mass distribution of @xmath49 isotopes from the power law distribution of the critical exponent @xcite . in order to eliminate @xmath73 ,
all isotope yields are normalized by the yield of @xmath74 @xcite .
for the first round ( @xmath67 ) , the renormalized values of @xmath75 from the reconstructed isotope yields are plotted as a function of the isotope mass @xmath20 using solid squares in fig .
[ fig : fig2](a ) .
the values of @xmath76 , @xmath77 and @xmath78 are used as free parameters to fit the given @xmath75 values , employing eq .. a typical search result is shown by open squares in fig .
[ fig : fig2](a ) for the case of the reconstructed isotope yields at the first round @xmath79 .
similar quality results are obtained for the amd simulated events with the three different interactions .
one should note that the value of @xmath48 makes a small contribution and the contribution is evident as a staggering in the @xmath80 versus @xmath20 plot .
therefore the essential free parameters in this step are @xmath81 and @xmath77 .
the extracted parameter values from both experimental data and amd simulated events are summarized in table [ table : parameters ] for the first round @xmath79 and the final round @xmath82 . .@xmath83 and @xmath84 for the first round ( k=0 ) and the final round ( 0.0022 ) . [ cols="^,^,^,^,^,^ " , ] [ table : data_results ] as a function of the isotope mass @xmath20 for the first round ( @xmath67 ) .
solid symbols are same as those in fig.[fig : fig2](c ) .
the line is the linear fit of the amd results .
( b ) @xmath39 as a function of the isotope mass @xmath20 for the final round ( k=0.0022 ) .
same symbol notations are used as ( a ) . ] , but for k=0.0022 . ]
once the symmetry energy value is determined for the individual cases , the temperature @xmath85 can be calculated as @xmath86 .
the extracted @xmath85 values from the reconstructed isotope yields and the amd events are shown as a function of @xmath20 by different solid symbols for the first round ( @xmath67 ) in fig .
[ fig : fig4](a ) , under the assumption of @xmath87 .
temperature values extracted from the experimentally reconstructed yields and the amd simulated events with three different interactions agree with each other within the error bars .
the larger errors in these plots , comparing to those in fig .
[ fig : fig2](c ) , originate from the errors of @xmath35 and @xmath18 which are shown in the third column of table [ table : data_results ] and fig .
[ fig : fig1](c ) , respectively .
the extracted temperature values show a monotonic decreasing trend as @xmath20 increases from @xmath88 mev at @xmath89 to @xmath90 mev at @xmath91 . from the linear fit , @xmath92 ,
is determined for the first round .
the iteration is repeated three times in this work .
the same plots as fig.[fig : fig2 ] , but with the @xmath43 value for the final ( third ) round , @xmath93 , are shown in fig.[fig : fig5 ] and the extracted parameters are also given in table [ table : parameters ] . a very similar quality of results is obtained between those of the first round @xmath79 and of the final round @xmath82 .
the extracted @xmath39 values are shown in fig .
[ fig : fig4](b ) for the final round ( @xmath93 ) .
all extracted @xmath85 values show a flat distribution and therefore the iteration stops at this round .
the extracted @xmath39 values from the reconstructed isotope yields and the amd events agree with each other within the error bars and @xmath94 mev is extracted , where the error is calculated from the standard deviation .
the extracted density and symmetry energy in the different iteration round are very similar as seen in table [ table : data_results ] , even though the parameter values in table [ table : parameters ] are 5 to 10% different in some cases .
this indicates that the extracted density , symmetry energy and temperature values in table [ table : data_results ] are quite stable in the iteration procedures .
all parameters extracted in this work are also consistent to those in the previous works @xcite , in which a simpler method is employed to evaluate @xmath18 values .
in order to study the observed slope in the apparent temperature , a simple monte carlo model is employed , following ref . @xcite . under a thermal equilibrium condition , the thermal motion with velocity @xmath95 , where @xmath96 , is expressed by a maxwell - boltzmann distribution as @xmath97 , \end{split } \label{eq : eq_th}\ ] ] where @xmath85 is the input parameter in the model .
fragments are generated by a percolation model for a system with mass 180 ( @xmath98 ) @xcite .
@xmath99 mev is used , which represents the thermal temperature of nucleons in the model .
more than a hundred million events are generated . in order to require the momentum conservation in the fragmenting system ,
the events which satisfy the condition of @xmath100 mev / c are selected as an approximation of the momentum conservation , @xmath101 . the temperature value from this monte carlo simulation
is evaluated utilizing a fluctuation thermometer under a classical momentum distribution .
detailed descriptions about this classical fluctuation thermometer can be found in ref .
the results are shown by open crosses in fig.[fig : fig6 ] .
the slight mass dependence of the temperature as @xmath20 increases is observed , which originates from the requirement of the momentum conservation . when the thermal motion is distributed equally to the fragments in a finite system according to eq .
, the larger fragments result in larger momentum and their momentum fluctuation becomes larger .
therefore the larger fragments become less probable to satisfy the requirement of the momentum conservation for an equal distribution of the thermal motion among the fragments . the mass dependent temperature @xmath102 from the experimentally reconstructed yields
is plotted in fig.[fig : fig6 ] together with the results of this simple monte carlo simulation .
the experimental trend is rather well reproduced . as a conclusion ,
the observed mass dependence of the temperature is well explained by an equal distribution of the thermal motion of @xmath103 mev under the momentum conservation , which is closely related to the size of the system .
in fact , in ref .
@xcite the same procedures above are applied to the @xmath16 reaction and @xmath104 is obtained , which is @xmath105 times larger than that of the present case . that is because when the system becomes larger , the fragments suffer less restriction under the momentum conservation , comparing to those in the smaller system . in fig.[fig :
fig4](b ) times @xmath106 for the final round @xmath82 .
crosses are the results of the monte carlo simulation of the thermal motion under the momentum conservation with @xmath99 mev . ]
an improve method to extract the symmetry energy coefficients relative to the temperature , @xmath18 , and a self - consistent determination of the density , temperature and symmetry energy of the fragmenting system are presented . using the improved method based on the mfm model , @xmath18 values
are extracted , utilizing all of the reconstructed hot isotope yields and the amd simulated events with the gogny interaction with three different density dependencies of the symmetry energy term .
the extracted @xmath18 values show a monotonic increase trend as isotope mass @xmath20 increases .
the amd results show that they are more or less in parallel each other . this parallel behavior is interpreted as the reflection of the different symmetry energy values at a given density and temperature at the time of the fragmentation of the system . using this correlation ,
the density value is first determined as @xmath107 for the fragmenting system in the experiment . utilizing this density ,
the symmetry energies are evaluated in a self - consistent manner for each amd simulation .
the extracted symmetry energy value for the experimentally reconstructed isotope yields is @xmath108 mev . using the extracted symmetry energy values ,
the temperature values are calculated for the reconstructed isotope yields and those of the amd simulated events .
they agree each other within the error bars and show a slight linear decrease as @xmath20 of the fragments increases . for the final ( third ) round of the iteration ,
@xmath109 is obtained , where @xmath110 mev and @xmath93 . in the different iteration stages ,
the extracted density and symmetry energy agree within the error bars , indicating that these extracted values do not depend so much on the optimized parameter values . using a simple monte carlo simulation , the mass dependence of the apparent temperature
is well explained by an equal distribution of the thermal motion to different size of fragments under the momentum conservation , indicating that the mass dependence of the apparent temperature originates from the system size effect .
the authors thank to the operational staff in the cyclotron institute , texas a&m university , for their support during the experiment . the experiment is supported by the u.s .
department of energy under grant no .
de - fg03 - 93er40773 and the robert a. welch foundation under grant a0330 .
this work is also supported by the national natural science foundation of china ( grants no .
11075189 , no . 11205209 and no .
11105187 ) and 100 persons project ( grants
0910020br0 and no .
y010110br0 ) , ads project 302 ( grants no . y103010ads ) of the chinese academy of sciences .
one of the authors ( r.w . ) thanks the program of the visiting professorship of senior international scientists of the chinese academy of science " ( grant no .
2012t1jy3 - 2010t2j22 ) for their support .
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Ralph Waldo Emerson's Letter to Martin Van Buren 1838 was written in response to the government's efforts to remove the Cherokee people from their native lands. In his letter to then-president Martin Van Buren, Emerson strongly represents that he, as well as other citizens of the American nation, feel that the American government is committing a serious evil crime in proceeding with the removal of the Cherokee. He stresses the efforts of the aboriginal population by stating that Even in our distant state, some good rumor of their worth and civility has arrived. We have learned with joy their improvement in social arts. We have read their newspapers. We have seen some of them in our schools and colleges. In common with the great body of the American people we have witnessed with sympathy the painful labors of these red men to redeem their own race from the doom of eternal inferiority, and to borrow and domesticate in the tribe, the arts and customs of the Caucasian race. Emerson, 1269. In the conclusion of the letter, Emerson questions the morality of a government that could put so vast an outrage upon the Cherokee nation, and upon human nature Emerson, 1271.
Historical context
With Andrew Jackson's signing of the Indian Removal Act in May 1830, the Cherokee Nation first embarked on a battle with the United States government and European settlers in a fight for the right to their hunting grounds and areas of residence which spanned across the southeastern United States, primarily Georgia. As matters intensified, a small gang of Cherokees began to think it may be best to submit to a treaty before the government attacked them. Therefore, in December 1835, the Treaty of New Echota was signed, giving Cherokees two years to prepare for the removal. Emerson expresses the eastern distaste for President Jackson's removal policies, by reiterating to Martin Van Buren,The newspapers now inform us, that, in December 1835, a treaty contracting for the exchange of all the Cherokee territory, was pretended to be made by an agent on the part of the United States with some persons appearing on the part of the Cherokees; that the fact afterwards transpired that these deputies did by no means represent the will of the nation, and that out of eighteen thousand souls composing the Cherokee nation, fifteen thousand six hundred and sixty eight have protested against the so called Treaty. It now appears that the Government of the United States choose to hold the Cherokees to this sham treaty, and are proceeding to execute the same Emerson, 1269. Along with others, Emerson is able to see through the government's efforts to play down their act of cruelty with attempts to make it seem as if they are going about the civilized route in obtaining a treaty, for it is immediately apparent that the Treaty does not represent the true feelings of the Cherokee people.
Analysis
Through reading Emerson's letter to Martin Van Buren, readers can discover Emerson's emotions that convey his transcendentalist attitude. At the time, transcendentalism was a growing movement that focused on pinpointing the discrepancies of society. This led to a growing desire to get involved in politics and the actions of the American government. Primary topics for those recognized with the Transcendentalist Movement included the War with Mexico, the treatment of Native Americans, and the ongoing practice of slavery. Emerson saw the Cherokee as innocent people still left untainted by the atrocities of society. He is trying to convince President Van Buren of their growing civility, and show support for the Cherokee tribe. However, Emerson explains in his essay, Nature, that once one is born and bred in nature, they will never forget its influence. Emerson believed that all mankind was ultimately good. Therefore, he begins to question whether he could say the same about the American government. He proclaims,it is the chirping of grasshoppers beside the immortal question whether justice shall be done by the race of civilized, to the race of savage man; whether all the attributes of reason, of civility, of justice, and even of mercy, shall be put off by the American people, and so vast an outrage upon the Cherokee nation, and upon human nature, shall be consummated Emerson, 1270-1271. He questions how a nation that calls itself civilized is capable of sending thousands of Indians away from their native land just so the Americans can have the land for themselves. He continues, On the broaching of this question, a general expression of despondency,-of disbelief that any good will accrue from a remonstrance on an act of fraud and robbery-appeared in those men to whom we naturally turn for aid and counsel. Will the American Government steal? Will it lie? Will it kill?-we ask triumphantly. Our wise men shake their heads dubiously Emerson, 1271. Emerson proposed the question as to whether or not the American government has morals and, if so, he is challenging its ethics and core values. This letter was meant to burden the conscience of Van Buren and question whether the presidents actions would represent the will of the American people. Not only was Martin Van Buren challenged to consider how his actions would affect the Cherokee Indians, he was also made aware that such an action might make the entire nation start to question the morality of the government. In the words of Emerson scholar Kenneth Sacks, Especially important is an argument that immorality toward any member of the community is immorality toward all: 'a crime that really deprives us as well as the Cherokees of a country'.
American support
Prior to Emersons letter to President Martin Van Buren, there was not a very positive relationship between the colonists and the Indians. In fact, it was extremely negative and relations between the two groups were very harsh. Violence and hatred was almost always present whenever the two encountered one another. It was rare for such a letter to come from the time 1838 because the idea of Manifest Destiny was very strong among Americans throughout the 19th century. Most all writings that came from that time period represented much bias and hatred towards the opposing side. Oftentimes, the Indians were pictured as barbaric and ravenous beasts and the colonists were regarded as unjust and unprovoked murderers. Emerson was one of the first respected and significant figures that decided to stand up in defense of the Cherokee tribe. In his letter, Emerson showed support for the Indians and expressed that many Americans also felt as though the Indians were being treated unfairly. Emerson was a big supporter that man was created equal, and therefore, it would be morally wrong to strip the Cherokees of their native land. He stresses the concept of both sides mutually respecting each other as a unitary group, despite the hateful relationship that has existed between them in the past. This idea would have come as almost foreign to many people at the time because there was such a push for American expansion and supremacy. However, through writing this letter, Emerson sparked support for the Cherokee people. It formed a positive link between the two groups even if it did not solve the problem. Even though the letter was not enough to prevent the government from proceeding in its aggressive expansion, it created the opportunity for Americans to stand up and support the idea of treating the Indians as equals.
Emerson's tone
Ralph Waldo Emersons tone in his letter to Van Buren was very articulate and helped better his argument in favor of the Cherokee tribe. Emerson was a very respected and recognized writer during the time and therefore, his letter automatically held noteworthy weight when it was sent to the President. Through reading the letter, it is easy for one to see the experience Emerson had as a writer. He knew exactly how to address the President and what tone would be the most appropriate in order to have the largest impact possible. As the letter unfolds, Emerson reveals a deep respect for Martin Van Buren and his position as president; however, he remains steadfast in his defense of the Cherokee territory. Emerson directly challenges Van Burens honesty regarding the United States relations with the Indian people. He argues his point in a strong and thorough manner, while also upholding a sense of respect, admiration, and professionalism. By stating that, each [citizen] may look with trust and loving anticipation to your government,Emerson, 12681271. Emerson establishes his high regard for the President. In addition, Emerson addresses Van Buren as Sir at almost every opportunity. While maintaining this sense of respect throughout his entire letter, Emerson continues to push his point, consistently challenging the president to consider the Native Americans side of the matter. Will the American Government steal? Will it lie? Will it Kill?Emerson, 12701271. Emerson deliberately left out the terms of the treaty in order to force Van Buren to acknowledge the reality of what the American government was in the process of doing to the Cherokee people.
Notes
References
Category:Works by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Category:History of the Cherokee | wikipedia |
Where does it's gravitational force come from to maintain its constant somewhat spherical shape? [duplicate]
**This question already has an answer here**:
[How does a gas giant planet hold it's spherical shape when it has tidally locked rotation in it's orbit around the Sun?](/questions/755756/how-does-a-gas-giant-planet-hold-its-spherical-shape-when-it-has-tidally-locked)
(1 answer)
Closed 6 months ago.
How dose a Tidally locked gas giant have a balanced gravitational force to keep it's spherical shape when one side is constantly facing the sun? Where does it's gravitational force come from to maintain its constant somewhat spherical shape?
First off, a planet has a spherical shape because of its own gravity. This answer perhaps has too much detail on the shapes of planets - but I'm trying to give a correct understanding of what effects planets' shapes. The answer, in the end, is that because of the tidal effect of the sun, the planet will be very slightly wider in the direction facing toward the sun.
Let's start with the right framework - the surface of a planet is an approximate "equipotential" - meaning that the the gravitational potential energy of something sitting on the equator is the same as the gravitational potential of something sitting on the poles. This ensures that "downhill" isn't in any particular direction - if the poles were "downhill" of the equator, mass would move from the equator to the poles to fix that (especially in a gas giant, where mass is free to move in any direction)
With nothing else around, a body will be spherical, and the potential at the surface will be $-GM/R$. If it spins, we add our first most significant correction, the centrifugal potential $-\omega^2r^2\cos^2(\theta)/2$, where $\theta$ is the longitude and $\omega$ is the angular velocity of the rotation. This (small) perturbation makes the planet slightly wider at the equator than at the poles. To see how, let $R$ be the radius of the planet at the poles, then the potential of the surface is $-GM/R$. The potential of the gravity of the planet is still $-GM/r$, where $r(\theta)$ will be the radius of the planet as a function of longitude. Then we need to find $r(\theta)$ such that
$$-GM/r-\omega^2r^2\cos^2(\theta)/2=GM/R$$
Assuming $r=R+\delta(\theta)$ (the correction is small) we get
$$GM\delta/R^2-\omega^2r^2\cos^2(\theta)/2=0$$ $$GM\delta/R^2-\omega^2(R^2+2R\delta)\cos^2(\theta)/2=0$$
$$\delta=\frac{\omega^2R^2\cos^2(\theta)}{2(GM/R^2-2\omega^2R\cos^2(\theta))}$$
NOTE: this calculation is off by a factor of two due to the effect described here
[Why is the Earth so fat?](https://physics.stackexchange.com/questions/8074/why-is-the-earth-so-fat?noredirect=1&lq=1)
Finally we get to tidal effects, which are even smaller than rotational effects - a few meters on earth as opposed to 20km. It's worth keeping in mind that your gas giant is orbiting the sun - the main effect of the gravity between the sun and the gas giant is just to make it orbit. Tidal effects come from the gravity from the sun being slightly stronger on the near side and slightly weaker on the far side. The effective potential from this effect is the difference between the gravity of the sun in the center of the planet and the gravity of the sun in other places - so (with $d$ the distance between the sun and some spot on the planet; $D$ being the distance between the sun and the center of the planet; $\theta$ being the angle formed by a point on the surface, the center of the planet, and the sun)
$$
\frac{GM\_s}{d}-\frac{GM\_s}{D}=\frac{GM\_s}{\sqrt{(D-R\cos(\theta))^2+(R\sin\theta)^2}}-\frac{GM\_s}{D}
$$
I won't work out all the details again, but suffice to say this perturbation is smaller than the one before because $GM\_s/D^3$ is smaller than $\omega^2$ (on earth the ratio of the two is 8e-5). Essentially the tidal bulge of this hypothetical planet will work the same way as the tidal bulge on earth - the earth is slightly wider in the direction toward/away from the sun and slightly thinner in the perpindicular directions (the poles, and the sunset side). Small caveat, on earth the moon does a bigger tidal effect than the sun by a factor of 2ish. The only difference will be that the tidal bulge of your tidally locked gas giant will be constant - not moving, as it does on earth (giving you the experience of water coming toward and moving away from your coast). So in the direction facing the sun, the planet will be permanently a tiny bit wider.
PS are there tidally locked gas giants? Not in our solar system.
| stackexchange/physics |
since fermions play an essential role in almost all areas of quantum physics , it is natural to study the nature of entanglement within fermionic systems .
the notion of entanglement relies on the bipartite or even multipartite structure of the underlying quantum system .
we focus here on the bipartite case by considering two parties , called alice and bob . to determine a bipartite system
, one has to specify the observables that are accessible within alice s and bob s laboratories .
the collection of all possible measurements that can be made is described by the _ global observable algebra_. following the reasoning of ref .
@xcite , a bipartite system can mathematically be described by a pair of _ local observable subalgebras _ sitting inside the global observable algebra .
the two local algebras represent the observations that can be made within alice s and bob s laboratories , respectively .
the essential requirement is that each measurement performed by bob can not disturb the measurements made within alice s laboratory .
therefore , each of alice s operators has to commute with all of bob s operators .
once a bipartite system is fixed by choosing the local algebras , the notion of entanglement can be introduced _ relatively to this choice _ :
product states are characterized by the property that the expectation values of a product of one of alice s operators and one of bob s operators factorize . taking the convex hull of all product states yields
the set of separable states and the issue of entanglement is to detect those states which are not separable .
we refer the reader to refs .
@xcite , where the characterization of separable states on fermion systems is discussed . in comparison to the considerations in ref .
@xcite , we focus here on the `` converse '' of separability , namely the characterization of maximally entangled fermions .
when dealing with fermions , the main issue is that , due to the canonical aniticommutation relations ( car ) of fermi fields , generic operators of alice and bob do not commute among each other .
as we shall see , the standard bipartite structure discussed above can be restored either by restricting the analysis to even products of fermi fields , as mainly done in this paper , or by introducing a twisted tensor product structure which automatically accounts for the alternating signs related to the commutation of fermi fields belonging to different subsystems .
the restriction to even products of fermi fields corresponds to the requirement that physical observables preserve the parity of the particle number .
since correlation experiments for the detection of entanglement are built from observables that belong to the local subsystems of alice and bob , it is natural to restrict the analysis to operators which preserve not only the global parity , but also the local parity . in mathematical terms
, we will then exploit the restriction to the even - even part of the global algebra .
consequently , we shall speak of _ accessible _ entanglement , relative to the restriction under consideration .
clearly , once the even - even part of the algebra is considered , operators belonging to different subsystems commute among each other , giving rise to a tensor product structure analog to the qubit case .
as far as this restriction is concerned , our main result is the full characterization of quasifree ( i.e. , gaussian ) maximally entangled states .
we prove that , in order to be maximally entangled , a fermionic quasifree state must have a covariance matrix of a well - defined form , which is unique up to local bogolubov transformations .
this analysis obviously requires a precise definition of fermionic maximally entangled states in the presence of the above restriction . to this purpose
, we exploit the conservation of local parity to further decompose the operator algebra .
indeed , it turns out that the structure of alice s and bob s observable algebras corresponds to the following situation : alice possesses a direct sum of matrix algebras of the form @xmath0 whereas bob possesses the algebra @xmath1 , where @xmath2 are full matrix algebras . here , the label @xmath3 refers to the number parity of the two subspaces ( four combinations are possible , i.e. , @xmath4 , where @xmath5 and @xmath6 correspond to even and odd , respectively ) , and , assuming that both alice and bob own @xmath7 fermionic modes , one has @xmath8 . the direct sum structure of the observable algebras can be interpreted as a _ super - selection rule _
, where the label @xmath3 plays the role of a conserved charge or quantum number .
therefore , we are faced here with the issue of entanglement in the presence of a super - selection rule .
while correlation experiments for the detection of entanglement only involve observables belonging to the quasi - local observable algebra given by @xmath9 , the fermionic state @xmath10 under investigation can be prepared in a more general way and can be thought of as belonging to the global observable algebra .
the restriction of @xmath10 to the even - even part of the algebra , i.e. , to the quasi - local observable algebra , is given by a density operator @xmath11 of block - diagonal form , @xmath12 , where @xmath13 is a normalized probability distribution and @xmath14 is a density matrix in @xmath15 .
pure states are given by rank - one projections @xmath16 in @xmath15 and the situation is effectively the same as for a simple tensor product since there is only one non - zero term that contributes to the direct sum .
a suitable entanglement measure is the entropy of entanglement @xmath17 where @xmath18 is the reduced density matrix on alice s subblock @xmath19 and @xmath20 $ ] is the von neumann entropy .
if we consider a density operator of the form @xmath21 with rank - one projections @xmath16 , then ( due to the superselection rule ) this is the _
unique _ convex decomposition of @xmath11 into pure states . for this class of states
the _ entanglement of formation _
@xmath22 can easily be computed .
it is just given by the mean value of the entropy of entanglement of each block , i.e. , @xmath23 .
now we can ask for those states which maximize the entanglement of formation .
they are given by all density operators of the form @xmath21 where @xmath16 is a projection onto a maximally entangled vector .
for all these states we find for the entanglement of formation the maximal value @xmath24 .
this is precisely the notion of maximal entanglement that we apply here to the investigation of entanglement in fermionic systems .
the discussion of fermionic entanglement can also be applied to investigate entanglement in spin chain systems with the help of the jordan - wigner transformation .
then , preservation of global parity corresponds to preservation of total magnetization . since magnetization
does not give rise to superselection rules , a fermionic system formally arising from the jordan - wigner transformation of a spin chain is not necessarily subject to the physical constraints discussed above . in particular
, the two local observable algebras are not restricted to the even part , given by even products of fermi fields , and their commutativity is not guaranteed .
in such a context , it is useful to consider the _ twisted _ tensor product structure mentioned above , which takes into account the anticommutation relations of fermi fields similarly to the jordan - wigner transformation .
( dark grey squares ) and bob possesses the block @xmath25 ( light grey squares ) .
the black lines are connecting those positions which are prepared in a maximally entangled two qubit state.,title="fig:",width=340 ] [ fig:01 ] the outline of the paper is the following .
we start by giving an elementary overview ( section [ overview ] ) of the basic ideas , and discuss , as an instructive example , the simplest non - trivial case which corresponds to two fermion modes per part .
we state our main result on the characterization of quasifree maximally entangled fermions in terms of this example first .
the structure of general bipartite fermion systems in finite ( but arbitrary large ) dimensions is presented in section [ sec-1 ] .
we take here advantage of araki s self dual formalism @xcite , which enables to write many formulas in a more handy form . the main result on the characterization of maximally entangled quasifree fermion states
is derived in section [ sec-2 ] .
we give here an explicit formula for the covariance matrix for a maximally entangled quasifree fermion state .
we also show that , up to local bogolubov transformations , there is a unique maximally entangled quasifree fermion state .
bogolubov transformations are reversible physical operations that are characterized by the property to map quasifree states into quasifree states ( see refs .
@xcite for general quasifree completely positive maps ) .
we also discuss a one - parameter group of ( global ) bogolubov transformations ( which can be interpreted as the unitary time evolution due to a proper interaction ) mapping a product state into a maximally entangled fermion state for a suitable value of the associated parameter ( time ) . as a further example
, we consider in section [ sec-3 ] a spin chain system consisting of two equally sized blocks of spins .
the system is prepared in a state where each site of one block is maximally entangled with a companion site of the other block , according to fig .
[ fig:01 ] . applying the jordan - wigner transformation
the corresponding state on the fermion algebra is quasifree and maximally entangled in the sense of our basic definition . finally , in sec .
[ sec - twisted ] we provide the description of the twisted tensor product structure which is necessary to extend the discussion beyond the even - even subalgebra .
in order to have a closer look at the structure of alice s and bob s observable algebras , we consider first the most simple example which consisits of two fermionic modes per part .
the creation and annihilation operators @xmath26 ( generically denoted by @xmath27 in the following ) are given here in the `` occupation number representation '' . by fixing an ordering of the modes first
, this representation is given on the @xmath28-dimensional hilbert space @xmath29 that is spanned by basis vectors @xmath30 , labeled by binary strings of length four , i.e. , @xmath31 .
the 16-dimensional hilbert space @xmath29 can be decomposed into a direct sum of four 4-dimensional subspaces .
each vector @xmath32 can be represented by a block decomposition @xmath33 where the four block vectors @xmath34 , with @xmath35 , are simultaneous eigenvectors of the parity operators of both subsystems . for example , @xmath36 .
observable algebra is generated by the operators @xmath37 with @xmath38 .
if we apply these generators to the basis vectors , it is easy to see that alice s observables respect the block decomposition eq .
( [ block - decomp - intro ] ) by acting trivially on bob s subspace and preserving the parity of alice s subspace .
for example , @xmath39 for @xmath38 .
putting all these together , a general operator of alice s local observable algebra can be represented by the block matrix @xmath40 with @xmath41 matrices @xmath42 . by an analogous reasoning ,
a general operator that belongs to bob s local observable algebra has the form @xmath43 with @xmath41 matrices @xmath44 .
this representation of the local observable algebras shows directly the fact that alice s operators commute with bob s .
we suggest here a notion for maximally entangled bipartite fermion states which is related to the maximization of the entanglement of formation . in view of our example above
, we declare a state @xmath45 where @xmath46 , @xmath35 , are projections onto maximally entangled vectors @xmath47 , to be maximally entangled .
the example given above , is concerned with two fermion modes per site ( two for alice and two for bob ) and the total dimension of the hilbert space is @xmath48 . more generally , if each of alice and bob possesses @xmath7 fermion modes , then the dimension is @xmath49 .
therefore the dimension of the hilbert space of the system increases exponentially with the number of fermion modes .
it is therefore highly desirable to find ways of treating at least some aspects of large fermion systems without actually having to write out state vectors component by component . here
the class of _ quasifree fermion states _ is a suitable choice .
they can be characterized by simple combinatorial data , which do not grow exponentially but at most quadratic with the number of modes .
quasifree states are determined by the two - point correlation functions , i.e. , the expectation values @xmath50 . for @xmath51 fermion mode a quasifree state
is determined by a @xmath52 matrix which have to fulfill suitable constraints that are related to the positivity of the density operator for the state .
although the mathematical structure of quasifree states can be treated easily , this class of states is sufficiently complex to tackle many non - trivial physical systems , in particular to find ground states of interacting spin chains with the help of the jordan - wigner transformation . to determine a quasifree state
, we arrange the expectation values @xmath50 , @xmath53 , into the @xmath54 hermitian matrix @xmath55 where @xmath56 .
any of the @xmath57 submatrices @xmath58 , with @xmath59 , has the structure @xmath60 and the @xmath61 submatrices @xmath62 , with @xmath63 , are given by @xmath64 , @xmath65 , and so on . here , @xmath66 . for the sake of clarity , for the case @xmath67
, we fully list the off - diagonal block @xmath68 , which plays _ the _ essential role in view of entanglement : @xmath69 the matrix @xmath70 is called the _ covariance matrix _ of the quasifree state and we denote by @xmath71 the corresponding density matrix .
the diagonal blocks of @xmath70 are related to the alice - alice and bob - bob correlations .
the ordering of the entries of @xmath70 is chosen in agreement with araki s selfdual formalism , which is explained in the next section .
the main result of this paper gives a complete characterization of maximally entangled quasifree states for the case that alice and bob possess an arbitrary number @xmath7 of fermion modes by giving an explicit form of the covariance matrix . for two modes per site , the standard example for a maximally entangled fermion state is given by the covariance operator @xmath72 where here and in the following the symbol @xmath73 denotes the @xmath61 identity matrix .
it is not difficult to check that @xmath74 is a projection which implies that the quasifree state @xmath75 is pure _ on the full fermion algebra _ that is generated by @xmath76 .
the first thing one observes here is that the diagonal blocks @xmath77 are given by one - half times the unit operator .
thus the state restricted to alice s fermion operators has covariance @xmath78 .
as we shall prove , the quasifree state with covariance @xmath78 is the totally mixed state , i.e. , the corresponding density matrix is @xmath79 . recall that alice s fermion operators @xmath80 generate the algebra @xmath81 of all complex @xmath82 matrices .
the fact that the reduced density matrix is maximally mixed is the essential ingredient to prove that the reduced density matrix @xmath83 to the subalgebra that is generated by alice s and bob s observables has indeed the form of eq .
( [ max - ent - intro ] ) .
let us now consider the most general case , where alice controls a finite set @xmath84 of @xmath7 fermion modes , whereas bob possesses another set @xmath85 of @xmath86 fermion modes .
we denote by @xmath87 the full local algebra of alice , which consists of all possible linear combinations of products of creation and annihilation operators @xmath88 belonging to her set of modes @xmath89 .
alice s local observable algebra is instead given by the even part of @xmath87 , which is denoted by @xmath90 and is given by linear combinations of products of an even number of fermi operators .
the same notation is used for bob , by an obvious replacement of the subscripts . the full global algebra generated by alice s and bob s fermion operators together
is denoted by @xmath91 .
the global observable algebra is the even part of @xmath91 and is denoted by @xmath92 .
finally , the even - even part of the global algebra , corresponding to the tensor product @xmath93 , is denoted by @xmath94 .
similarly to the even part , one can also define the odd part of an algebra , e.g. , @xmath95 .
note however that , differently from the even part , the odd part is only a linear subspace and not an algebra , as products of odd operators yield an even operator .
the bipartite structure is given by the natural separation of fermionic modes relative to the ( full ) subalgebras @xmath87 and @xmath96 .
fermionic entanglement is based on the properties of correlation functions @xmath97
, i.e. , the expectation values of operator products @xmath98 of a state @xmath10 , where @xmath99 belongs to alice s fermion algebra @xmath87 and @xmath100 is an operator in bob s fermion algebra @xmath96 . in comparison to the standard entanglement theory , one
is faced with the problem that the operators @xmath99 and @xmath100 do not necessarily commute .
namely , they anticommute whenever both @xmath99 and @xmath100 are odd operators , i.e. , @xmath101 and @xmath102 .
this can be seen as a non - local behaviour which makes the fermionic bipartite structure different from the standard tensor product . the appropriate description of this feature is provided by the twisted tensor product discussed in sec .
[ sec - twisted ] . on the other hand , in the physical situations where local parity is preserved , it is sufficient to consider the restriction to the even - even part of the algebra , where operators belonging to different subsystems commute and the standard tensor product can be used .
this will be our assumption in secs .
[ sec-2 ] and [ sec-3 ] . in the rest of this section
we will introduce a convenient notation to deal with fermionic fields and fermionic gaussian states . in order to give a clear presentation
, we make use of araki s selfdual formalism which enables to write formulas in a more compact manner .
the basic idea is to combine the creation and annihilation operators into one field operator by the linear combinations @xmath103 the @xmath104 complex coefficients @xmath105 are put into one vector @xmath106 of a hilbert space @xmath107 which we call the hilbert space of the global one - particle system .
each vector @xmath108 can be decomposed into four blocks @xmath109 where @xmath110 are the one - particle components for alice and @xmath111 are the one - particle components for bob .
recall that alice possesses @xmath112 modes and bob has @xmath113 modes under control .
we introduce a complex conjugation @xmath114 which allows to write the canonical anticommutation relation in a more elegant form . making use of our block decomposition
, the complex conjugation is an antiunitary operator that can be represented by a @xmath82 block matrix @xmath115 where @xmath116 ( in our case we have @xmath117 ) is the complex conjugation on @xmath118 that replaces each component within a vector by its complex conjugate . by using the anticommutation relations for the standard creation and annihilation operators @xmath119
allows to write the canonical anticommutation relation in the following compact form : @xmath120 where @xmath121 denotes the usual complex scalar products between vectors .
moreover , the adjoint of @xmath122 can simply be computed according to @xmath123 indeed , the global fermion algebra @xmath91 is completely determined by requiring that the field operator @xmath124 is complex linear in the one - particle vector @xmath106 and by the relations eqs .
( [ selfdual - r1 ] ) ( [ selfdual - r2 ] ) .
since @xmath91 is a finite dimensional full matrix algebra , the states on the bipartite fermion system are given by density operators @xmath10 assigning to an operator @xmath125 the expectation value @xmath126 .
a quasifree state @xmath10 , also called gaussian fermion state , is completely determined by the two - point correlation functions , i.e. , the expectation values of @xmath127 araki s selfdual approach is very handy by putting all this expectation values into a single big covariance matrix .
each quasifree state @xmath128 is in one - to - one correspondence with a covariance matrix which is a linear operator @xmath70 on @xmath129 that is between @xmath130 and @xmath131 ( @xmath132 ) with respect to the operator ordering and which fulfils the additional constraint @xmath133 .
the expectation values of the state @xmath134 are related to its covariance matrix @xmath70 by the following condition on the two - point correlation function : @xmath135 the entries of the matrix @xmath70 are related to pair correlation functions as described in sec .
[ sec-1 ] .
all higher correlation functions can be expressed in terms of sums of products of two - point functions according to wick theorem , where only the expectation values of an even product of fermi field operators are non vanishing ( i.e. , @xmath136 ) .
it is well known that a quasifree state is pure if and only if its covariance matrix @xmath70 is a projection , called _
basis projection_. one simple example for a basis projection can be given in terms of the @xmath82 block matrix @xmath137 according to the four - block - decomposition of @xmath129 .
indeed , a straightforward computation shows that the condition @xmath138 is fulfilled .
the expectation values for the standard creation and annihilation operators are @xmath139 for @xmath140 and @xmath141 .
the expectation values of all other possible combinations of fermi operators are vanishing .
in particular , @xmath142 which implies that @xmath143 is a product state , i.e. , if we consider a product @xmath98 of an operator @xmath99 from alice s local fermion algebra and an operator @xmath100 from bob s local fermion algebra , then the expectation value @xmath144 factorizes .
in the following we assume that alice and bob control the same number of fermion modes @xmath145 .
due to the bipartite nature of the fermion algebra @xmath91 there is a natural notion of product states .
a state @xmath10 on @xmath91 is called a product state if the expectation value @xmath146 factorizes for any pair of operators @xmath147 belonging to alice s and bob s local fermion algebras , respectively . the quasifree state given by eq .
( [ prod - state ] ) is a particular example . as for standard entanglement theory , a state on @xmath91
is entangled if it can not be written as a convex combination of product states @xcite .
but what about maximally entangled states ?
there is a natural point of view for discussing entanglement in fermion systems .
if we think of the observables that can be measured within alice s and bob s local laboratories , we have to restrict to the even parts of the local subalgebras , i.e. , @xmath90 and @xmath148 .
in particular , each correlation experiment for detecting the presence of entanglement can only be built from observables that belong to the local even parts . as a consequence ,
the _ accessible _ entanglement of a bipartite fermion state @xmath10 is the entanglement of the restriction to the even - even subalgebra @xmath149 which can be directly identified with the tensor product @xmath93 .
as already mentioned , the algebra @xmath91 can be identified with a full matrix algebra of all linear operators on a hilbert space with dimension @xmath49 .
we choose now an identification that is most compatible with the bipartite nature , namely we identify @xmath150 with the matrix algebra of all linear operators on @xmath151 , where @xmath152 is the antisymmetric fock space over @xmath153 .
we identify the set @xmath84 of labels for alice s fermion modes with @xmath154 and the set of labels for bob s fermion modes with @xmath155 .
let @xmath156 denote the standard creation and annihilation operators on @xmath29 .
then alice s fermion operators act on @xmath151 by @xmath157 and bob s fermion operators act on @xmath158 by @xmath159 , where @xmath160 is the parity of the particle number @xmath161 on @xmath29 .
the fock space @xmath162 decomposes into the even and odd particle number subspaces @xmath163 that correspond to the eigenspaces of @xmath164 with eigenvalues @xmath165 .
the projections onto @xmath163 are @xmath166 and clearly @xmath167 .
thus the tensor product @xmath151 can be expanded into a direct sum of four subspaces @xmath168 . the local parity number operators for alice and bob
are given by @xmath169 and @xmath170 .
the even - even subalgebra @xmath94 consits of all operators @xmath125 that preserve the local parity , i.e. , @xmath125 commutes with @xmath171 and @xmath172 .
therefore the operator @xmath173 is block diagonal @xmath174 .
this yields the desired decomposition @xmath175 where @xmath176 and @xmath177 have the same dimension @xmath178 .
if the global fermion system is prepared in a state @xmath10 , then the restriction @xmath11 to the even - even part has a unique convex decomposition @xmath179 where @xmath180 is a state on @xmath181 .
we suggest here to characterize maximally entangled fermion states by the following definition : [ max - ent ] _ a bipartite fermion state @xmath10 on @xmath91 is called _ maximally entangled _ if each state @xmath180 within the decomposition eq .
( [ conv - decomp ] ) is maximally entangled in the usual sense .
_ this point of view is related to searching for those states for which the restriction @xmath11 to the even - even part maximizes the entanglement of formation @xmath22 . recall that it can be evaluated according to @xmath182 where the infimum is taken over all possible decompositions @xmath183 into pure states @xmath16 and @xmath184 denotes the entropy of entanglement .
if the state is maximally entangled according to def .
[ max - ent ] , the states @xmath180 inside decomposition ( [ conv - decomp ] ) , being maximally entangled in the usual sense , must be pure .
then , the direct sum structure of @xmath94 implies that the decomposition ( [ conv - decomp ] ) is the only decomposition into pure states and hence @xmath185 the density matrix @xmath180 is the projection onto a maximally entangled vector @xmath186 in @xmath187 .
this naturally induces a vector @xmath188 in the full hilbert space @xmath158 which corresponds to a pure state @xmath189 on the global fermion algebra @xmath190 . restricting the analysis to the accessible entanglement mentioned above , yields a definition that only constrains the form of @xmath11 .
the global fermion state @xmath10 is then not uniquely determined .
it is however natural to require it to be pure , as for usual maximally entangled states
. therefore , we will assume each maximally entangled bipartite fermion state to be pure on the global fermion algebra .
concerning quasifree states , we are faced with the following problem : is it possible to characterize explicitly the set of those covariance matrices which correspond to a maximally entangled fermion state ?
[ thm - max - ent ] a quasifree pure state @xmath75 on the global fermion algebra @xmath91 with covariance matrix @xmath74 is maximally entangled if and only if there exists a unitary operator @xmath191 that maps bob s one - particle space @xmath192 onto alice s one - particle space @xmath193 and which anticommutes with the complex conjugation @xmath194 such that the covariance operator is given by the @xmath41 block matrix @xmath195 suppose a maximally entangled quasifree fermion state @xmath75 with covariance matrix @xmath74 is given . since @xmath75 is pure , the covariance @xmath74 is a basis projection and the corresponding density operator @xmath75 is the projection onto a vector @xmath196 with maximally entangled vectors @xmath186 . as a consequence ,
the restriction to alice s even subalgebra is a trace , i.e. , for each @xmath197 we have @xmath198 .
moreover , the restriction of the quasifree state to alice local fermion algebra @xmath87 is again a quasifree state with covariance operator @xmath199 , where @xmath200 is the projection onto alice s one - particle space . recall that each quasi free state is determined by the two - point correlation function . according to theorem [ thm - app-1 ] , which we prove in the appendix , the covariance operator for a quasifree state which is a trace on the even part must be @xmath78 .
thus we conclude that @xmath201 .
the same also holds for the restriction to bob s even subalgebra and we also find @xmath202 . with respect to the alice - bob split @xmath203 into the local one - particle spaces ,
the covariance operator can be written as a @xmath41 block matrix @xmath204 here @xmath191 is an operator from bob s one - particle space @xmath192 to alice s one - particle space @xmath193 and @xmath205 maps conversely @xmath192 to @xmath193 .
since @xmath74 is selfadjoint , the off - diagonal blocks must fulfill @xmath206 .
moreover , @xmath74 is idempotent , i.e. , @xmath207 which implies @xmath208 comparing the diagonal blocks yields the two identities @xmath209 and @xmath210 which shows that @xmath191 is a unitary operator .
finally we have to take care of the constraint @xmath211 for @xmath74 being a valid covariance matrix .
with respect to the alice - bob split of the one - particle space , the complex conjugation @xmath114 is block diagonal @xmath212 recall that by comparing this @xmath41 block representation with the @xmath82 block representation eq .
( [ complex - conjugation ] ) the complex conjugation on alice s ( bob s ) one - particle space is given by the @xmath41 block matrix @xmath213 where @xmath214 is the natural complex conjugation on @xmath153 .
expressed in terms of the alice - bob split , the condition @xmath211 becomes @xmath215 by comparing the off - diagonal blocks , we obtain the desired relation @xmath216 . it remains to prove the converse .
suppose a unitary @xmath191 is given such that @xmath217 holds .
then eq .
( [ basis - projection ] ) defines a basis projection @xmath74 that corresponds to a pure state @xmath218 with @xmath219 . with respect to the direct sum decomposition into even and odd particle number subspaces
@xmath163 the vector @xmath220 can be written as @xmath221 where @xmath186 are normalized vectors in @xmath187 . since a quasifree state vanishes on the odd part of the global fermion algebra
, the vector @xmath220 has to be an eigenvector of @xmath222 .
thus either @xmath223 or @xmath224 . furthermore , the restriction of @xmath75 to alice s local fermion algebra @xmath87 is a trace since , by construction , @xmath225 .
since @xmath226\oplus[\9b(\2h_+)\otimes\i]$ ] , the restriction of @xmath75 to @xmath227 is a trace . if @xmath223 , then the restriction of of @xmath75 to @xmath228 is supported on the blocks @xmath229 and @xmath230 .
on the other hand , if @xmath224 , then the restriction of of @xmath75 is supported on the blocks @xmath231 and @xmath232 .
therefore , the restriction of the pure state @xmath233 is a trace on @xmath234 which implies that @xmath186 is a maximally entangled vector in @xmath187 and @xmath75 is a maximally entangled fermion state in the sense of definition [ max - ent ] . in summary ,
the theorem tells us that all maximally entangled fermion states can be characterized by a unitary operator @xmath191 from bob s one - particle space onto alice s one - particle space that anticommute with the complex conjugation @xmath235 . since , according to our assumptions , alice s and bob s one - particle spaces have the same dimension @xmath51 they can be canonically identified @xmath236 . the simplest choice for the unitary @xmath191 is just given by @xmath237 , where @xmath238 is the unit operator on @xmath239 .
the global one particle space is given by @xmath240 and the basis projection simply looks like @xmath241 we call the corresponding quasifree fermion state the _ standard maximally entangled fermion state_. as we will see soon , each quasifree maximally entangled fermion state can be transformed into the standard maximally entangled fermion state by _ local bogolubov transformations_. a bogolubov transformation is given by a unitary operator @xmath242 on @xmath129 that commutes with the complex conjugation @xmath243 . indeed , if we transform the fermi field operators by @xmath244 the anticommutation relations
are preserved .
namely , we have @xmath245 .
this implies that @xmath244 extends to a so called _ bogolubov automorphism _
@xmath246 of the fermion algebra @xmath91 .
since we are concerned with finite dimensions , there exists a unitary operator @xmath247 such that @xmath248 .
bogolubov automorphisms map quasifree states onto quasifree state .
indeed , a quasifree state @xmath71 with covariance @xmath70 is mapped to the quasifree state @xmath249 with covariance @xmath250 @xcite .
a _ local _ bogolubov transformation is block - diagonal with respect to the alice - bob split of the one - particle space , i.e. , there are unitary operators @xmath251 on @xmath193 and @xmath252 on @xmath192 such that @xmath253 where @xmath251 and @xmath252 commute with the local complex conjugations @xmath254 and @xmath255 , i.e. , they are bogolubov transformations on the local one - particle spaces @xmath193 and @xmath192 , respectively . by construction ,
a local bogolubov transformation preserves alice s and bob s even subalgebras .
namely , the block - diagonal structure of @xmath242 implies that an operator @xmath256 of alice s local fermion algebra is mapped to @xmath257 which is also contained in alice s local fermion algebra .
the corresponding statement also holds for bob .
thus we can restrict the bogolubov automorphism @xmath246 to an automorphism @xmath258 to the even - even subalgebra @xmath259 which , as mentioned above , can be directly identified with the tensor product @xmath93 of alice s even part and bob s even part .
then , the automorphism @xmath258 splits into a tensor product @xmath260 , where @xmath261 and @xmath262 are the restrictions of the bogolubov automorphisms @xmath263 and @xmath264 to alice s and bob s even subalgebra .
hence a local bogolubov transformation corresponds to a local operation in the usual sense .
if we apply a local bogolubov transformation @xmath242 to the standard maximally entangled state whose basis projection is given by the @xmath265 of eq .
( [ standard - max ] ) , we obtain a new maximally entangled state with basis projection @xmath266 which has the @xmath41 block decomposition @xmath267 let @xmath191 be a unitary that anticommutes with the complex conjugation and therefore determines a maximally entangled fermion state
. then @xmath268 commutes with the complex conjugation and @xmath269 is a local bogolubov transformation that acts on bob s system alone .
if we apply it to the standard maximally entangled state , then we find @xmath270 which proves the following statement : up to local bogolubov transformations , there exists a unique maximally entangled quasifree fermion state .
let us now consider the following one particle hamilton operator @xmath271 on @xmath129 @xmath272 @xmath129 here @xmath129 is given by the decomposition @xmath273 where the first two summands are the one - particle space of alice and the last two blocks belong to bob .
it is clear that @xmath271 is a reflection that anticommutes with the complex conjugation @xmath114 , i.e. , we have @xmath274 and @xmath275 . thus for each @xmath276 the unitary operator @xmath277 is a bogolubov transformation .
the one - particle hamilton operator @xmath271 induces a second - quantized hamilton operator @xmath278 that acts on the antisymmetrized fock space .
the relation between the second - quantized @xmath278 and the one - particle operator @xmath271 is given by the commutator relation @xmath279=\b(hf)\ ] ] which is the heisenberg equation of motion . in order to express @xmath278 in terms of fermi field operators , we choose a orthonormal basis of @xmath280 of @xmath281 vectors @xmath282 with @xmath283 such that @xmath284 .
the operator @xmath271 can be written in terms of this basis according to @xmath285 the anticommutation relations eq .
( [ selfdual - r1 ] ) can be used to compute commutators of the following form : @xmath286 \\ & = \b([\gamma\ket{e_1}\bra{e_2}\gamma-\ket{e_2}\bra{e_1}]f ) \ ; , \end{split}\ ] ] where @xmath287 are vectors in the one - particle space @xmath129 .
this relation can directly be employed to check that the operator @xmath288 fulfills the equation of motion eq .
( [ eofm ] ) .
thus , we obtain a one - parameter group of bogolubov automorphisms which is generated by @xmath278 and which we regard now as the time evolution of the global fermion system .
recall , that the exponential form of eq .
( [ eofm ] ) is given by @xmath289 now we apply this time evolution to the quasifree product state given by eq .
( [ prod - state ] ) whose basis projection is given by @xmath290 . then after time @xmath291 we have created a quasi free state that corresponds to the basis projection @xmath292 . by expanding the exponentials and by making use of the relation @xmath293 we obtain @xmath294 \ ; .
\end{split}\ ] ] in terms of the @xmath82 block decomposition , we find for the basis projection at time @xmath291 : @xmath295 where @xmath296 and @xmath297 .
suppose alice and bob prepare their fermion systems individually such that the global system is in the quasifree pure product state with basis projection @xmath298 .
moreover , alice s and bob s fermions interact with each other by the dynamics @xmath299 .
after the interaction time @xmath300 the global fermion system is in the quasifree state that is given by the basis projection @xmath301 which is the basis projection of a maximally entangled fermion state .
in this section we consider the example of fermionic quasi - free maximally entangled state obtained from the jordan - wigner transformation of a maximally entangled state in a spin chain .
the spin state vector @xmath302 defined below is related to the important class of isotropic states @xcite , which can indeed be decomposed in terms of the identity and the operator @xmath303 .
we will show that once written in terms of fermion operators , the considered state is a quasi - free state whose covariance matrix exactly satisfies the conditions stated in theorem [ thm - max - ent ] .
we consider two blocks of spins , each block containing @xmath7 contiguous spins . by numbering the sites starting from the first spin of the left
, the block @xmath304 belongs to alice , whereas the block @xmath305 belongs to bob .
we construct the state vector @xmath302 as a tensor product of maximally entangled spin pairs , such that the @xmath306-th spin of the left block is entangled with the @xmath307-th spin of the right block , @xmath308 .
[ fig:01 ] illustrates this situation for @xmath309 .
explicitly , the vector reads @xmath310 where @xmath311 is the usual pauli raising operator of the @xmath312-th site . in the following
we will drop the normalization factor @xmath313 .
the jordan - wigner transformation is usually defined as @xmath314 where @xmath315 . by substituting in the above expression for @xmath302 one
gets @xmath316\ket{0 } \ , \ ] ] where @xmath317 ( note that @xmath318 ) .
it is now possible to get rid of the ` string ' terms @xmath319 by bringing them to the right and applying them to the vacuum @xmath320 , so that @xmath321 .
indeed @xmath322=0 $ ] whenever the site @xmath312 is not contained in the string @xmath319 and this condition is always satisfied in the above expression for @xmath302 .
hence all the string terms can be eliminated from the state , which just reads @xmath323 the latter expression puts in evidence that @xmath302 is a coherent state ( with respect to properly defined fermion operators ) , namely @xmath324 where @xmath325 and @xmath326 . here
@xmath327 is the trivial hankel matrix obtained by reversing the @xmath328 identity matrix , i.e. , @xmath329 .
note that @xmath330 is antisymmetric and orthogonal , @xmath331 .
the covariance matrix for a state of the form eq . ( [ eq : coherent ] ) , where @xmath330 is any real antisymmetric matrix , can be obtained from the correlations @xmath332 and @xmath333 , where @xmath334 .
these expressions can be obtained by using the standard techniques employed to diagonalize quadratic fermion hamiltonians ( see , e.g. , ref .
@xcite ) . in our case
a simple calculation shows that @xmath335 , so that @xmath336 we recall that in the operators @xmath337 the vector @xmath106 is ordered as @xmath338 and that the expectation value of the product @xmath339 is given by eq .
( [ eq : twopoint ] ) .
the @xmath54 matrix @xmath70 is given by @xmath340 where the structure of the @xmath57 submatrices @xmath58 , with @xmath59 , has already been described in sec .
[ overview ] .
therefore , for the gaussian state @xmath341 introduced above one has @xmath342 defining @xmath343 , it is easy to check that the matrix @xmath191 satisfies the condition @xmath344 .
in this section we describe the twisted tensor product structure which is necessary to study entanglement in the global fermion algebra .
the bipartite nature of the fermion system can be revisited in terms of the projections @xmath200 and @xmath345 onto alice s and bob s one - particle spaces @xmath346 and @xmath347 , respectively . with respect to the @xmath82 block decomposition ,
alice s projection is given by @xmath348 and the projection onto bob s one particle space is the complementary projection @xmath349 .
alice s local fermion algebra @xmath87 is generated by the operators @xmath350 and , analogously , bob s local fermion algebra @xmath96 is generated by the operators @xmath351 . by construction ,
the projection @xmath200 ( and therefore @xmath352 ) commutes with the complex conjugation which implies with help of eq .
( [ selfdual - r1 ] ) : @xmath353 .
therefore , the alice s and bob s fermion operators mutually anticommute and the product of alice s fermion operator @xmath350 and bob s fermion operator @xmath354 is not a tensor product , as it is the case for ( finite dimensional ) commuting matrices . as a matrix algebra , the global fermion algebra @xmath91
can be identified with the tensor product @xmath355 . in the following , this isomorphism , which we denote here by @xmath356 ,
is called the _
untwisting_. it acts on fermi operators @xmath357 according to @xmath358 where @xmath359 is the reflection ( selfadjoint unitary ) that is uniquely determined by @xmath360 and @xmath361 is the reflection that changes the sign on alice s one - fermion space @xmath193 .
we mention here that @xmath171 corresponds to a string of @xmath362-pauli operators , as in the case of the jordan - wigner transformation . valuating the untwisting @xmath356 on a product of alice s and bob
s fermion operators gives @xmath363 due to the occurrence of the operator @xmath171 on the right hand side , the operator product @xmath364 on the left hand side is called a twisted tensor product " of @xmath256 and @xmath365 which is `` untwisted '' by @xmath356 to a tensor product on the right hand side .
we note that the even part @xmath90 of alice s fermion algebra is precisely the fixpoint algebra under the map @xmath366 , i.e. , an operator @xmath99 belongs to @xmath90 if and only if @xmath367 . the analogous result is also true for bob s fermion algebra . obviously , the even part @xmath92 of the global fermion algebra consists of all operators that are invariant under the map @xmath368 , with @xmath369 .
the essential property of the untwisting @xmath356 is related to the odd / even nature of alice / bobs fermion operators .
namely , for each of alice s fermion operators @xmath370 , the identities @xmath371 are valid , where @xmath372 is any even ( odd ) fermion operator on bob s side . the twisted tensor product is hence the suitable tool to extend the analysis of entanglement to the global fermion algebra .
such an extension would be clearly desirable for those systems where local parity conservation can not be assumed , in particular for general fermionic systems obtained from the jordan - wigner transformation of spin chain hamiltonians .
in this paper , we have introduced a definition of fermionic maximally entangled states based on the restriction to the even - even part of the algebra .
such a restriction is natural as far as one is interested in the _ physical _ operators ( observables ) of the two considered subsystems , which implies conservation of local parity .
we have then analyzed the structure of fermionic maximally entangled states which are gaussian with respect to the _ global _ fermion algebra .
the preparation of the state is indeed assumed to be constrained by global parity only , as for observables of the total system . following this route ,
we have obtained a necessary and sufficient condition on the covariance matrix for the gaussian state to be maximally entangled .
we have also showed such a state to be unique up to local bogolubov transformations . on the other hand ,
we have provided a unitary transformation which maps a gaussian product state into a gaussian maximally entangled state .
an explicit example relevant to spin chains has also been discussed .
finally , we have showed how to extend the analysis of entanglement beyond the restriction to the even - even part by introducing the twisted tensor product of fermionic subspaces .
the latter structure is useful to study general fermionic systems obtained from the jordan - wigner transformation of lattice spins .
the investigation of this context will be the subject of future work .
we consider the fermion algebra @xmath373 that is generated by the fermion field operators @xmath124 with @xmath374 .
recall that the fermion algebra can be identified with the algebra @xmath375 of all linear operators on the antisymmetric fock space @xmath376 .
on @xmath377 there exists a unique normalized trace which is given by the density operator @xmath378 .
let @xmath381 be the quasifree state that is given by the covariance @xmath78 .
to prove that @xmath381 is a trace , we have to show that the correlation functions of even products of fermion fields are invariant under the cyclic shift , i.e. , we have to prove the identity @xmath382 let @xmath383 be the set of all permutations @xmath384 on @xmath385 that fulfill for each @xmath386 the constraints @xmath387 for our purpose , we introduce the following more handy representation for permutations @xmath388 where the first row contains the odd and the second row contains the even positions . the constraint for a permutation to be a member of @xmath389 can be reformulated in this representation : ( 1 ) the entries of the first row are increasing from left to right .
( 2 ) in each column the first entry is smaller than the second . by wick
s theorem , the left - hand side of eq .
( [ eq-1 ] ) can be expressed in terms of the two - point correlation functions by @xmath390 where @xmath391 is the sign of the permutation @xmath384 .
let @xmath392 be the cyclic shift , then we obtain for the right hand side @xmath393 the problem is now , that the permutation @xmath394 is not contained in @xmath389 , namely the constraints are violated at the position @xmath395 .
if we compose the cyclic shift @xmath396 with the permutation @xmath384 we obtain for @xmath394 : @xmath397 the cyclic shift increases the value of the entry by one except the position where the value is equal to @xmath51 which must be an even position @xmath398 .
thus , the entries of the first row are still increasing from he left to the right , but at position @xmath399 the first entry is now _ smaller _ than the second .
this can be cured by introducing the permutation @xmath400 .
then we build the permutation @xmath401 which can be represented as @xmath402 by exchanging the two entries in column @xmath403 and shuffling it to the first position we have succeed in fulfilling the conditions ( 1 ) and ( 2 ) .
in fact , we have constructed a bijective map @xmath404 that acts on the set of allowed permutations @xmath389 . the product term for the permutation @xmath394 within the expansion eq .
( [ wick - theo ] ) can be expressed in terms of the permutation @xmath405 by @xmath406 where we have used the fact that the complex bilinear form @xmath407 is symmetric .
this implies the desired identity @xmath408 here we have used the fact that the map @xmath409 preserves the sign of permutations @xmath410 .
the sign of the cyclic shift of a set with @xmath51 elements is @xmath411 .
namely , let @xmath412 be the transposition that exchanges @xmath413 and @xmath414 we observe that @xmath415 is a product of @xmath416 transpositions .
furthermore , the permutation @xmath417 can be decomposed into a product of @xmath418 transpositions which implies @xmath419 .
this yields @xmath420 .
the uniqueness of the normalized trace for full finite dimensional matrix algebras implies that the density matrix of the quasifree state @xmath381 is @xmath421 which concludes the proof . for the proof of theorem [ thm - max - ent ] we need to consider all possible traces on the even subalgebra @xmath422 which coincides with @xmath423 where @xmath163 is the subspace corresponding to even / odd particle number .
since on each full matrix algebra there is up to normalization a unique trace , all normalized traces on @xmath422 are given by density operators of the form @xmath424 , where @xmath425 is the projection onto @xmath163 .
we rewrite the density operator @xmath426 as @xmath429 where @xmath430 .
let @xmath431 be the standard creation and annihilation operators on fock space and let @xmath432 be the particle number operator .
there exists an orthonormal basis @xmath433 of eigenvectors , i.e. , @xmath434 where there are @xmath435 eigenvalues with @xmath436 . to be more explicit ,
we choose a orthonormal basis for the one - particle space @xmath437 and associate to each subset @xmath438 we associate the vector @xmath439 with @xmath440 and @xmath441 . here
@xmath442 is the antisymmetric tensor product .
the standard creation operator acts according to @xmath443 which vanishes if @xmath444 .
if @xmath444 and let @xmath445 be the number of elements in @xmath446 that are smaller than @xmath312 , then we get @xmath447e_{i\cup j } \ ; .\ ] ] where we use the convention @xmath448=1 $ ] and @xmath449=0 $ ] .
obviously , we get for the annihilation operator : @xmath450e_{i\setminus j } \ ; .\ ] ] indeed , @xmath433 is an orthonormal basis of eigenvectors with @xmath451 . since @xmath452
, it follows that @xmath453 . for the term @xmath454
we find @xmath455\delta_{ij } \ ; . \end{split}\ ] ] thus the trace of @xmath456 can be computed according to @xmath457\delta_{ij } \\ = -\sum_{j\subset n\setminus i}(-1)^{|j|}\delta_{ij}=0 \end{split}\ ] ] here we have used the fact that @xmath458 contains as many even - elementary subsets as odd - elementary subsets . with an even .
this implies @xmath459 and with the help of lemma [ lem - app-1 ] we find the desired result : @xmath460 by lemma [ lem - app-1 ] , the quasifree state with covariance @xmath78 is the normalized trace on the full fermion algebra @xmath373 .
the restriction to the even subalgebra @xmath422 is again a quasifree normalized trace . on the other hand ,
each state @xmath426 on @xmath373 that vanishes on the odd part @xmath461 and which induces a trace on the even part @xmath422 has the form @xmath462 . if @xmath426 is quasifree , then it is uniquely determind by the two - point correlation function .
suppose @xmath463 is quasifree with covariance @xmath70 , then it follows by lemma [ lem - app-2 ] that @xmath379 . | arxiv |
I'm trying out iGetter, close to purchasing, but i just realized that I can't get connect to servers with digest authentication. Am I missing something, or might this be supported in a future release?
Since this is the first request for a digest authentication support in iGetter I added it in the iGetter wish list. Currently, iGetter supports the Basic authentication only.
I really need this feature added. I am not using other download accelerators while I wait for you to add this. Please add this feature. I asked about it 2 years ago and I am still waiting. This is the best download manager this is, digest authentifationwould make it perfect. | slim_pajama |
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<title>Function program_location</title>
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<h2><span class="refentrytitle">Function program_location</span></h2>
<p>boost::dll::program_location</p>
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<h2 xmlns:rev="http://www.cs.rpi.edu/~gregod/boost/tools/doc/revision" class="refsynopsisdiv-title">Synopsis</h2>
<div xmlns:rev="http://www.cs.rpi.edu/~gregod/boost/tools/doc/revision" class="refsynopsisdiv"><pre class="synopsis"><span class="comment">// In header: <<a class="link" href="../../boost_dll/reference.html#header.boost.dll.runtime_symbol_info_hpp" title="Header <boost/dll/runtime_symbol_info.hpp>">boost/dll/runtime_symbol_info.hpp</a>>
</span>
<span class="identifier">boost</span><span class="special">::</span><span class="identifier">filesystem</span><span class="special">::</span><span class="identifier">path</span> <span class="identifier">program_location</span><span class="special">(</span><span class="identifier">boost</span><span class="special">::</span><span class="identifier">system</span><span class="special">::</span><span class="identifier">error_code</span> <span class="special">&</span> ec<span class="special">)</span><span class="special">;</span>
<span class="identifier">boost</span><span class="special">::</span><span class="identifier">filesystem</span><span class="special">::</span><span class="identifier">path</span> <span class="identifier">program_location</span><span class="special">(</span><span class="special">)</span><span class="special">;</span></pre></div>
<div class="refsect1">
<a name="idp36699232"></a><h2>Description</h2>
<p>On success returns full path and name of the currently running program (the one which contains the `main()` function).</p>
<p>Return value can be used as a parameter for <code class="computeroutput"><a class="link" href="shared_library.html" title="Class shared_library">shared_library</a></code>. See Tutorial "Linking plugin into the executable" for usage example. Flag '-rdynamic' must be used when linking the plugin into the executable on Linux OS.</p>
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</p>
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<td><p><span class="term">Parameters:</span></p></td>
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<col align="left" valign="top">
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<td><p><span class="term"><code class="computeroutput">ec</code></span></p></td>
<td><p>Variable that will be set to the result of the operation. </p></td>
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<td><p><span class="term">Throws:</span></p></td>
<td>std::bad_alloc in case of insufficient memory. Overload that does not accept boost::system::error_code also throws boost::system::system_error. </td>
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<td align="right"><div class="copyright-footer">Copyright © 2014 Renato Tegon Forti, Antony Polukhin<br>Copyright © 2015, 2016 Antony Polukhin<p>
Distributed under the Boost Software License, Version 1.0. (See accompanying
file LICENSE_1_0.txt or copy at http://www.boost.org/LICENSE_1_0.txt)
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| slim_pajama |
What is the actual voltage to the standard hydrogen electrode and why is it used?
Why is the standard hydrogen electrode chosen to be of 0 voltage, what is its actual voltage and how could that be calculated experimentally?
Also, why is it that we cannot measure the voltage or potentials of the range of electrodes and we must use the standard hydrogen electrode?
The voltage given for any reduction is totally meaningless in the absence of either a comparison to another reduction potential or an oxidation potential. Absolute energies are totally meaningless. Only differences matter.
As usual then, we need references. For example, heat of formation of standard Gibbs energy if formation are set to 0 for elements in their standard forms at standard state.
Likewise, for reduction potentials, we need a reference, and that reference if the standard hydrogen electrode, whose standard reduction potential is 0 by fiat. All other potentials can be determined by comparison.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
What is the effect of the energy stored in a capacitor on the current it supplies? [closed]
**Closed**. This question needs [details or clarity](/help/closed-questions). It is not currently accepting answers.
---
**Want to improve this question?** Add details and clarify the problem by [editing this post](/posts/558266/edit).
Closed 3 years ago.
[Improve this question](/posts/558266/edit)
For say, what would be the difference between two capacitors with the same capacitance only one storing 0.5 joules and the other one 1 joule.
Technically, the only difference between the two capacitors is the voltage across the plates, which accounts for the difference in stored energy based on the equation
$$E=\frac{CV^2}{2}$$
So the capacitor with more stored energy has a greater voltage. So, what does that mean in terms of performance? It depends on what aspect of performance can be adversely affected by either excessive or insufficient voltage.
One possibility concerns the fact that capacitors normally have some kind of maximum voltage rating. So if the higher stored energy is associated with a voltage that exceeds the maximum rating, damage to the capacitor may occur.
Beyond that, you would have to be more specific.
>
> Yes, I understand that the voltage supplied into the capacitor would
> have to be higher; however, I was more interested what would be the
> effect on resulting current, I am sorry for wording the question
> incorrectly
>
>
>
Well, if both capacitors were in the process of getting charged by say athe same battery in series with the same value resistor, the capacitor with the greater stored energy would be charging at a slower rate (lower current). On the other hand, if both capacitors were say discharging through the same value resistor, the capacitor with the greater stored energy would be discharging at a faster rate (greater current).
Hope this helps.
| stackexchange/physics |
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
\section{\label{sec:grids-intro}Introduction}
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
A goal of grid computing is to allow the utilization of resources that
span many administrative domains.
A Condor pool often includes
resources owned and controlled by many different people.
Yet collaborating researchers from different organizations
may not find it feasible to combine all of their computers
into a single, large Condor pool.
Condor shines in grid computing,
continuing to evolve with the field.
Due to the field's rapid evolution, Condor has its own native mechanisms
for grid computing as well as developing interactions
with other grid systems.
\Term{Flocking} is a native mechanism that allows Condor jobs
submitted from within one pool
to execute on another, separate Condor pool.
Flocking is enabled by configuration within each of the pools.
An advantage to flocking is that jobs migrate from one
pool to another based on the availability of machines to
execute jobs.
When the local Condor pool is not able to run the job
(due to a lack of currently available machines),
the job flocks to another pool.
A second advantage to using flocking is that the user
(who submits the job) does not need to be concerned with
any aspects of the job.
The user's submit description file (and the job's \SubmitCmd{universe})
are independent of the flocking mechanism.
Other forms of grid computing are enabled by using
the \SubmitCmd{grid} \SubmitCmd{universe}
and further specified with the \SubmitCmd{grid\_type}.
For any Condor job,
the job is submitted on a machine in the local Condor pool.
The location where it is executed is identified as the remote machine
or remote resource.
These various grid computing mechanisms offered by
Condor are distinguished by the software
running on the remote resource.
When Condor is running on the remote resource,
and the desired grid computing mechanism
is to move the job from the local pool's job queue
to the remote pool's job queue,
it is called Condor-C.
The job is submitted using the
\SubmitCmd{grid}
\SubmitCmd{universe},
and the \SubmitCmd{grid\_type} is \SubmitCmd{condor}.
Condor-C jobs have the advantage that once the job has moved
to the remote pool's job queue,
a network partition does not affect the execution of the job.
A further advantage of Condor-C jobs is that the \SubmitCmd{universe}
of the job at the remote resource is not restricted.
When other middleware is running on the remote resource,
such as Globus,
Condor can still submit and manage jobs to be executed on
remote resources.
A \SubmitCmd{grid} \SubmitCmd{universe} job,
with a \SubmitCmd{grid\_type} of
\SubmitCmd{gt2} or \SubmitCmd{gt5}
calls on Globus software to execute the job on a remote resource.
Like Condor-C jobs, a network partition does not affect
the execution of the job.
The remote resource must have Globus software running.
Condor also facilitates the temporary addition of a
Globus-controlled resource to a local pool.
This is called \Term{glidein}.
Globus software is utilized to execute Condor daemons on the
remote resource.
The remote resource appears to have joined the local Condor pool.
A user submitting a job may then explicitly specify the
remote resource as the execution site of a job.
Starting with Condor Version 6.7.0, the \SubmitCmd{grid} universe
replaces the \SubmitCmd{globus} universe.
Further specification of a \SubmitCmd{grid} universe job is done
within the \SubmitCmd{grid\_resource} command in a submit description file.
| slim_pajama |
Hopwood v. Texas, 78 F.3d 932 5th Cir. 1996, was the first successful legal challenge to a university's affirmative action policy in student admissions since Regents of the University of California v. Bakke. In Hopwood, four white plaintiffs who had been rejected from University of Texas at Austin's School of Law challenged the institution's admissions policy on equal protection grounds and prevailed. After seven years as a precedent in the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit, the Hopwood decision was abrogated by the U.S. Supreme Court in 2003.
The case
After being rejected by the University of Texas School of Law in 1992, Cheryl J. Hopwood filed a federal lawsuit against the University on September 29, 1992, in the U.S. District Court for the Western District of Texas. Hopwood, a white female, was denied admission to the law school despite being better qualified at least under certain metrics than many admitted minority candidates. Originally, Hopwood's co-plaintiff was Stephanie C. Haynes, but Haynes was dismissed from the suit on February 11, 1993. Ultimately, three white males, Douglas Carvell, Kenneth Elliott, and David Rogers, joined the existing lawsuit as plaintiffs. All had better combined LSAT and grade scores than 36 of the 43 Latinos admitted, and 16 of the 18 black students admitted. U.S. District Judge Sam Sparks, a 1963 graduate of the University of Texas School of Law, presided over the case.
Texas Monthly editor Paul Burka later described Cheryl Hopwood as the perfect plaintiff to question the fairness of reverse discrimination because of her academic credentials and her personal hardships she has a young daughter suffering from a muscular disease.
After an eight-day bench trial in May 1994, Judge Sparks issued his ruling on August 19, 1994. He determined that the University could continue to use the racial preferences which had been at issue in the litigation. In his ruling, he noted that while it was regrettable that affirmative action programs are still needed in our society, they were still a necessity until society could overcome its legacy of institutional racism. Thereupon, the four plaintiffs appealed the case to the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals, which heard oral arguments in the case on August 8, 1995.
Nearly two years after the original trial, on March 18, 1996, the Fifth Circuit issued its opinion, which was written by Circuit Judge Jerry Edwin Smith. The court held that the University of Texas School of Law may not use race as a factor in deciding which applicants to admit in order to achieve a diverse student body, to combat the perceived effects of a hostile environment at the law school, to alleviate the law school's poor reputation in the minority community, or to eliminate any present effects of past discrimination by actors other than the law school. Judge Jacques L. Wiener, Jr., concurred. Rehearing was denied on April 4, 1996.
The University appealed the decision to the U.S. Supreme Court, which declined to review the case on July 1, 1996. In an opinion on the denial of certiorari, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, joined by Justice David Souter, noted that the issue of the constitutionality of race in admission was an issue of great national importance. However, Justice Ginsburg explained that the University was no longer defending the specific admissions policy that had been at issue in the lawsuit and was rather attempting to justify only the rationale for maintaining a race-based admissions policy. Accordingly, because the Supreme Court reviews judgments and not opinions, Justice Ginsburg stated that it must await a final judgment on a program genuinely in controversy before addressing the important question raised in this petition. Thus, the Hopwood decision became the final law of the land with respect to the use of race in admissions in Louisiana, Mississippi, and Texas, the three states over which the Fifth Circuit has jurisdiction.
The reaction
University officials were not pleased with the opinion. Shortly after the opinion's release, UT President Robert Berdahl predicted the virtual resegregation of higher education, while UT System Chancellor William Cunningham noted that administrators were saddened by the 5th Circuit's sweeping determination that Bakke is no longer the law of the land and that past discrimination and diversity no longer justify affirmative action in admissions.
The Fifth Circuit's opinion catalyzed a discussion of race in admissions on campus. Faculty and students protested. For the next several years, the case was a popular topic of discussion and debate in The Daily Texan, the University's student newspaper.
The Texas legislature passed the Top Ten Percent Rule governing admissions into public colleges in the state, partly in order to mitigate some of the effects of the Hopwood decision.
Later developments
On January 15, 1997, William P. Hobby, Jr., former Lieutenant Governor of Texas and then Chancellor of the University of Houston System, sought a clarification of the application of Hopwood from Texas Attorney General Dan Morales. Specifically, Hobby questioned how the new federal jurisprudence would affect financial aid at institutions of higher education in Texas and in particular, its effect on specific programs of the University of Houstonmainly admissions to the University of Houston Law Center. On February 5, 1997, Morales issued his formal opinion in response to Hobby's request. Morales found that Hopwood's restrictions would generally apply to all internal institutional policies, including admissions, financial aid, scholarships, fellowships, recruitment and retention, among others. Thus, under the Morales interpretation, Hopwood was extended to prevent the consideration of race in areas beyond admissions.
On June 23, 2003, the Supreme Court abrogated Hopwood in Grutter v. Bollinger, in which the high court found that the United States Constitution does not prohibit the law school's narrowly tailored use of race in admissions decisions to further a compelling interest in obtaining the educational benefits that flow from a diverse student body. The ruling means that universities in the Fifth Circuit's jurisdiction can again use race as a factor in admissions as long as quotas are not used, per Gratz v. Bollinger.
References
Further reading
External links
Category:United States equal protection case law
Category:United States affirmative action case law
Category:United States Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit cases
Category:1996 in United States case law
Category:University and college admissions
Category:University of Texas at Austin
Category:University of Texas School of Law | wikipedia |
Voltron 1. Larmina and dances just don't mix
**Letter of love**
_Disclaimer...Really?_
**I am SO sorry people meant to put this up on Valentine's Day!**
* * *
><p><strong>Larmina's pov~<strong>
I sighed, Oh how I hated this holiday. It was just another lame excuse for High born Idiots to come and flirt with Auntie Allura and of course me.
I swear if I see another_ "__Lord, Duke, Barron, or even Prince of where ever" _today, i'm going to scream!
But of course life_ LOVED_ to make me miserable, and had planned a Valentine's Day ball. Ok...so life didn't Plan it, but I was _"Invited"_ **(more liked forced)** to go to the stupid ball.
"Stupid Dresses," I complained "stupid royals, Stupid Dances and Ball's Stupid Valentine's Day!"
I stormed down the hall towards my room Remembering the horrible event.
from my dress that was squeezing me way to tightly...(stupid Nanny.) To All of the Stupid Royals that kept stepping on my feet (Lousy Dancers.) I was Miserable.
* * *
><p><strong>Flash Back~<strong>
"Do I HAVE to go?" I complained "You know I HATE these things Auntie Allura"
"Larmina I know you don't want to go ,but please you have to." My aunt said as Nanny was Strapping me in my Red ball gown.
"OW! NANNY TOO TIGHT CANT BREATH." I gasped in annoyance " I felt the straps loosen.
"Better?" Allura was standing over me in a blue ball gown her Golden hair piled on top of her head.
"Better" I Sighed with relief Allura took my hair down and brushed it I fumbled with my Headpiece. "Where did Nanny go?"
"She had to go help the boys struggle into those monkey suits" She laughed "At least we have it easier then them." She took my headpiece and placed on to my head and I looked at myself in the mirror.
I gasped. I looked nothing like myself. I usually held myself as a strong, clever girl who will never give up but now...?
I was just another pretty little Princess who couldn't even Defend herself...I hated it.
We walked in to the ball room I groaned I could not wait untill this was over. so I could Go back to my regular life with fighting and excitement.
"Introducing Princess Allura and Lady Larmina!" Coran's voice announce.
I scanned the floor surprised to see...no really...was Daniel blushing? at me? no It couldn't be.
the king of Driskilla **(An, Yeah expect a few made up Planets) **Swept Allura away in to a waltz, and couples started dancing While Stupid music Played.
I danced with a few Royals. All leaving me with sore, bruised feet (oh why didn't i wear my steel toed boots. oh right! they were _"Not appropriate for a young lady to wear"_ (stupid Nanny!)
I sat down at one of the tables to rest my poor feet. Daniel walked up
"Ouch Larmina Were those clowns trying to dance or break your toes?" He winced at the sight of my feet.
I Laughed. "Like you can do better?"
"Mabye..." he joked. "May I have this dance?" Giving a mock bow and holding out his hand
I took It "Of course you may."
he then Swung me across the floor. twisting and twirling me and even Lifting me up! I smiled, but this time it was real. I laughed and sped up our little dance Unaware that Everyane was looking at us.
"Ok..." I said Impressed " you CAN do better"
He laughed his beautiful violet eyes filled with joy. "I told you so he wispered playfully"
each word uttered from thouse amazing lips filled me with happiness. I wanted those lips on mine I wanted his eyes to olny Gaze on me. No I needed them.
_"Larmina!" _I thought _"Don't think like that he isn't a royal. we could never be even if he did love me Witch is Highly unlikely anyway!" _
The song ended And clapping rang around the Ball room. We looked around shocked to see everyone Watching us. I was so focused on him with those perfect features and his hands around my waist to notice.
He blushed as he realised we were not alone, and withdrew his hands from my waist.
Then The prince of Driskilla came up With Super curly brown hair, Dishwater eyes, and a smug grin Pulled me away to dance.
I stole a glance back at Daniel. He was Blushing furiously and smiling goofilly. Maybe this ball wouldn't be so bad after all
Oh if I only knew how wrong I was
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><p>So? how is it? My first try at a straight on Danmina fic Do you like it?<p>
**Review!**
2. Daniel's chance
**Letter of love**
_Disclaimer~ ...FAN fiction! DUH!_
**Italics are thoughts!**_** example**__ "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!_
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><p><strong>Daniel pov~<strong>
_"Poor Larmina"_ I thought _"It's like every royal was holding a contest of Who can bruise her feet the most!"_
I winced as yet another clown stomped on her toes. the song ended they separated she limped back to a table.
I smiled _"This is your chance Rider Don't screw it up!"_
I walked up to her "Ouch Larmina were those clowns trying to dance or break your toes?"
She laughed and waved her foot "Like you can do better?"
"Maybe..." I Joked I then did a mock bow and held out my hand "May I have this dance?
She took it_ "wow..."_ I thought _"just one touch makes me go nuts" _
She then said "Of course you may..."
I then swung her across the floor, her movements matching mine, her eyes shinning with happiness, and her mouth forming a smile so big it could challenge the Cheshire cat's grin.
I knew it right then I loved her she was everything to me. she was the sky above my head, the wind beneath my wings, and the ground beneath my feet. I wanted her to stay with me...No...I needed her to stay with me
_"DANIEL!_" I mentally yelled at myself _"Stop it! she's a princess and your just a stupid kid from another planet we can never be even if she loved You back Witch is highly unlikely anyway! so stop it!"_
I looked in to her eyes and smiled. she was looking at me. I sped up the dance. She sped up as well Never taking her bright blue eyes off of mine and honestly I liked it.
"Ok" she said impressed "you CAN do better"
I felt happiness well up inside of me wanting to escape but instead I whispered playfully. "I told you so..."
Oh Voltron knows how much I wanted to kiss her right Now. The pain of knowing we can never be actually hurt!
The song ended and we both jumped as clapping rang through out the ball room. I with drew my arms and blushed.
Then some royal with really curly brown hair, Dishwater blue eyes, and a smug grin came up and asked larmina to dance.
I let him take her Leaving me to my thoughts She then looked at me. I blushed and smiled like the goofball I am.
Oh Larmina how I wish we can be But I know we can't. even if you did love me
I walked back to a table and watched them dance. She looked Miserable. her smile was lost, her eyes glow in her eyes was gone, and she kept wincing as that joker kept steeping on her feet.
I wanted her back in my arms. _Well if you can't have her_" I thought " _at least You still have your thoughts._
"Be happy larmina" I whispered "and be safe"
* * *
><p><em>AWWWWWW! sooo sad! and yet sooo happy! Poor Daniel!<em>
_Soooo? _
_how was it? _
_you like?_
_if so..._
**REVIEW!**
3. Saved yet sad
**Letters of love**
_Disclaimer...Really?_
* * *
><p><strong>Larmina's pov~<strong>
"OW!" I thought "Oh Voltron this guy is the worst dancer out of everyone here!"
As the crown doofus of Driskilla stomped my feet yet again. I sent him a death glare.
His cold hands were way too low on my back, and his face was far too close for comfort.
I wanted him to let me go, but I had to wait till the end of the song.
I felt his hands try to get lower but I stomped his foot Giving him a death glare that could even scare Daniel...
Daniel...Oh how I loved him. I wanted him to be mine to be my love and stay with me.
my mind drifted to him...Those amazing violet eyes, that beauitful voice, those perfect lips, and that eternally messy black hair it was official...I was in love.
I found myself starring dreamily at him. Oh Voltron Knows how much I loved him...how much I needed him...
I mentally slapped myself
_"LARMINA NO!...please don't tourture yourself like this...He dosent like you like that! He's your best friend not your boyfriend and that's how it will stay...please don't"_
I was shot strait out of my thoughts as I felt the Crown Dork...sorry...Prince of Driskilla. Lower his hands past my weist.
If looks could kill then he would be a pile of ash right now.
"HANDS OFF!" I whispered in my Triple Deluxe (I-am-so-gonna-kill-you) Voice.
"And why would do that?" he whispered evilly "You are the most beautiful thing i've ever seen and for that...you will be mine."
He then Forced me against him pushing his lips on mine. I felt his hands Travel up and down my body. and his horrible tongue tried to enter my mouth. I coulde'nt breath. couldn't get away...I was scared...no one was doing anything...I felt my mind getting foggy. My movements becoming slower and slower...
The whole ball room was watching us in horror. Him kissing me and me squrming trying to get away...
Then he was ripped away from me. falling to the floor hitting it with a bloody nose.
I Spun around to see a seriously ticked off Daniel.
He growled angrily She said HANDS OFF!"
"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!" He screamed in anger. "I AM SHANE DONIMAN THE CROWN PRINCE OF DRISKILLA!"
he then lunged at Daniel. attempting to punch him. but Daniel easily avoided his rage filled punch. making him fall to the floor
His father stormed up. grabbing his ear
"YOU ARE SO GROUNDED MISTER! WHEN WE GET HOME YOU ARE GOING STRAIT TO YOUR ROOM!"
He pulled him away. Leaving at least one hundred stunned Royals to stare dumbfounded.
Daniel turned his gaze to me but this time it was a worried look.
"Are you OK? Did he hurt you? I swear if his father hadn't come and saved his sorry but..."
I threw my arms around him. interrupting him. burring my head in to his chest sobbing like crazy. I felt his arms wrap around me
"Don't worry." He whispered in a tone that I didn't even know he had. "he cant get you anymore...you will be alright everything will be alright."
I sobbed harder and I Looked up into his Eyes. those wonderful eyes
No...I couldn't stand it Couldn't stand being in his arms knowing we can never be so i did the olny thing I could...I ran trying not to fall out of the room
I heard Daniel shout "LARMINA!" But I didn't care I had to get away...Before my thoughts took control and I did something I'd probably regret.
Oh Voltron how I Wanted to kiss him right then. to thank him for saving me.
I stormed down the hall to my room. I flung myself on to the bed and cried.
" Daniel I-I love you but still even after you saved me we can still never be."
I Sobbed into my pillow and let sleep take me.
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><p><em>Sooo do you like it?<em>
_PLEASE DO!_
_I went to the dentist and now my mouth is swollen and hurting_
_Although..._
_reviews have been known to cure pain..._
**Please?**
4. Poems and love letters
**Letters of love**
**Disclaimer...ok conbine all of my story chappies (this on included) now you have me saying "FOR THE LAST FORKING TIME I DON'T OWN VOLTRON FORCE!" 21 times...**
**SO GET OFF MY CASE!**
**And the story coutiunues...(I soooo mispelled that)...oh wait I almost frogot...**
**THANK YOU DBZTRON2 YOU ARE AN ASTROUS, AWESOME, AND AMAZING GIRL!**
_One more thing the underlined part is Daniel aurguing with himself_
* * *
><p><strong>Daniel's pov~<strong>
I was angry...Realy angry...I couldent beleve what that jerk did to her. He was so lucky his father came and draged him away. If not...well...you don't wanna know.
Now as the ball was over I sat in my room...Letting my thoughts drift to my hand.
* * *
><p><em>Larmina I love you so much<em>
_I wish we could just be_
_but since im olny a nobody_
_we can never be_
_And it hurts so much_
_I could just scream _
_Becuse you were made for me_
_My love _
_can't you see?_
I wrote down yet another love poem in my journal...(What? Allura gave it to me...though probably not for this particular purpouse.)
I sighed "Larmina I love you. I love you more than speed, pizza, and probably even Voltron"...
No...I Defenitly loved her more than Voltron.
That's it...I had to do it I had to tell her...but...what if I make a fool of myself? what if we lose our friendship...What if...
I gasped
_That just might work..._
Daniel its too Dangerous!
_I wouldent put my name on it..._
She's a smart girl she could figure it out!
_No one could know it was from me..._
ok its your funural...
_Yes...it was perfect I will do this..._
Last chance...
_Ill send her a love letter..._
Daniel No!
_to cheer her up and let my love be told..._
I flipped to the middle of the book where I had a blue bookmark placed. And then I knew this was the one. This was the one to send her. I ran to my computer. typed and printed it. And deleted the file.
I smiled. no one would know of my Tears of Love except her...and she wouldent even know who I was...
"Larmina" I wispered "I love you" and slid the letter under her door.
* * *
><p><em>Soooo...<em>
_Did you like it..._
_lol..._
_olny I understand the joke i made. _
_Sorry for yesterday_
_working!_
_feet hurt_
**Review?**
5. Tears of Love
**Letters of love**
**Disclaimer~...no** **comment...**
**THANK YOU DBZTRON2!**
* * *
><p><strong>Larmina's pov~<strong>
I woke up sprawled across the bed, tears soaking my pillow, and stil in my red ball gown. but I didint notice. I was too out of it to care. I walked clumsly to my door, but I tripped falling to the floor. then I noticed something...A letter? Why would I have a letter? I picked up the letter and walked back to bed. sitting down on it I opened the letter and read it.
* * *
><p><em>Larmina~ <em>
_I can't beleve what happened. what that compleate snart bag did. Are you alright? Are you ok? everyones worried about you (mostly me though.) But I know your a strong girl who can take anything. I know that you can be anything. _
_but after last night...I now hold a fear that i'll never be able to tell you this. _
**Tears of love **
_I cry every day_
_Becuse I know we can't be_
_And it hurts so much_
_Becuse you were made for me_
_Every time I look in your eyes _
_Its hard not to cry_
_Oh how I olny wish you knew _
_How much I love you_
_I'm not sure if you love me back_
_Oh how I hope you do_
_Becuse I know in my heart _
_I loved you from the start_
_If you still havent grasped my point_
_It's actually fairly simple_
_So if you can please keep this in mind_
_Here you go_
_Roses are red _
_Violets are blue _
_Can't you see _
_I've fallen for you_
_And as i'm sitting here_
_Wrighting this poem_
_I wish the rules would change_
_So I could show em_
_My love for you _
_Is stronger than anything_
_Yes it is true_
_So can't you see_
_I am sick of hiding them_
_All of my tears of love_
_Sick of my love being held back_
_So here you go_
_Roses are red_
_violets are blue_
_Can't you see _
_I've fallen for you_
_And I hope on this day_
_That you will give me your heart _
_And then take mine_
_On this very speical day of Valentime_
_~From your Hidden Admirer_
* * *
><p>I gasped that was the most beautiful thing i've ever read.<p>
I Read it once more and realised something
...Snart bag was Daniel's insult...
He asked me those exact questouns last night.
And the last time we had to wight a poem Daniel's got a hundred precent and made the whole force cry with it's beauty.
Daniel wrote the poem...
Daniel wrote the letter...
Daniel loves me...
And I love Daniel...
Then Some one knocked on the door. I then hid the letter under my pillow and told them to come in.
And speak of the Dark haired Angel Daniel walked in...
* * *
><p><strong>I wrote the poem during class...What? It was valentimes day and I was inspired.<strong>
_Roses are red _
_Violets are blue_
_If you like it_
_then REVIEW_
6. Worries and confessions
**Letters of love**
_Disclaimer~ dont own (Sigh)_
_Again big thanks to Dbztron2 you ROCK girl!_
* * *
><p><strong>Daniel's pov~<strong>
I was tired but I couldent sleep. I tossed in my bed once more and sighed. I had to see her I had to make sure she was ok. I was worried about her. I wanted to go back to sleep but my mind wouldent let me.
I sat up throwing the covers off and swinging my legs on to the floor. I stood up. I needed to make sure she was ok.
I tiptoed out of the room not wanting to wake Vince and snuck down the hall to her room.
Was she ok? is she allright? Oh please let her be alright.
I knocked on larmina's door seeing that the light was on siginaling she was awake
"Come in" she anwsered
I opened the door too see her sitting on her bed her firery red hair a complete mess still in her red ball gown with tears staining her face
I walked in and closed the door "Larmina why are you awake? its two Am i'd thought you would be sleeping."
She widened her eyes and spun to see her clock "Wow..." she stated "I thought it was morning and I could ask the same to you Daniel"
"couldent sleep" I anwersed then blushed as I said "I needed to make sure you were realy ok you seem depresed and I was worried about you."
I lowered my head in embersament "Sorry to bother you Larmina. But you seem shaken up from last night. are you you alright please be honest"
she stood up "Honestly no i'm not alright. Not at all...I don't know what to do and I don't know what to feel or even what to say."
She started walking twards me "Daniel can you stay I can tell I won't be able to go back to sleep."
"Sure" I answered "but you know Nanny would kill me if she found me in here"
She laughed "Daniel I wouldent let her hurt you." we sat on her bed "your my best friend"
She leaned her head on my sholder shocking me and grabbed my hand
"I know that letter was from you Daniel olny you could wright something that beautiful" she kissed my cheek making my face flush a brillant shade of red. "And I love you too you goofball"
"y-you d-do?" I stuttered "but-
She cut me off "Daniel of course I do!...but since im a princess and your not a royal I could never let you know" she sighed and I wraped my arms around her comforting her
"I wish we wouldent have these stupid rules." She said "so we could be together so we could be happy."
She snuggled up against me "Daniel I love you." I leaned by head against hers and closed my eyes
"I Love you too Larmina More than anything in the Universe" Letting the sent of her strawberry sented hair in to my nose.
then there was nothing nothing but sweet dreams.
* * *
><p><em>Yeah...not my best chappie...<em>
_but still if you like it_
_then you should_
**_REVIEW!_**
**_well its two twenty am and i need sleep Night!_**
7. Wakeing up
**Letters of love**
_Disclaimer~ Don't own sigh..._
_Dbztron2 sorry girl your chappie will come next! _
_Ittalics = thoughts "I WOULD **LOVE** SOME MORE REVIEWS!"_
* * *
><p><strong>Larmina's pov~<strong>
I Woke up snuggling next to Daniel. his arms around me and we were also holding hands.
I mentally sighed._ "Oh voltron please don't let this be a dream."_
I felt him stir "Good morning Princess-PRINCESS!"
what he did in the next second was in one word adroable. He puled back, bowed, and then blushed as he rembered last night.
he then face palmed and mutttered.
"Daniel how could you froget the girl you love, loves you back!"
he then turned to me and blushed till his face was a brighter shade of red than my dress...
my dress...SHOOT! I frogot to take it off! Daniel sat down beside me.
"Larmina whats wrong?" he asked worriedly "Are you ok?"
I Turned to face my clock and gasped as it blinked 6:52 A.m.
"Daniel its morning" I started "Allura or Nanny Probably both of them is going to come and check on me!"
His face went white with realization "And i'm not allowed to be in here..."
he then shot up "There comming act like i'm conforting you." he then wrapped his arms around me. as Allura and Nanny came into my room
I burried my head in his chest and he wispered
"It will be alright Larmina. He can't come get you. everything will be alright. And if he even tries to come i'll protect you."
Allura then came up "Daniel what are you doing here?"
He looked at her and we split apart
"I'm sorry Princess Allura but I was getting some water and I heard Larmina crying. I got worried And I went in to cheak on her. I'm sorry princess I'll Leave now."
He then bowed respectally, gave me a small smile, and walked out of the room.
_"WOW!"_ I thought _"He is a realy good actor"_ I mentally sighed
Then I was smothered as Nanny and Allura hugged me. asking me if I was alright.
I groaned inwardly...
"I'm fine now!" I said "Now get out so I can get dressed!" I pushed them out and I headed twards the closet
_"Daniel I love you but we can never be."_ oh how I hated that rule.
I picked out a purple shirt with a black collar and sleaves, A black skirt that went right above my knees,
I groaned at the skirt I hated them I Always had
_(we were going somewhere to some big gathering so nice clothes not flight suites)_
and some black and purple running shoes. I brushed my hair keeping it down and set my head peice on my head.
I went to the rest room washed my face and put a little make up on eyeliner lipgloss that sort of thing. I then picked up my voltcom and headed for the door
"Here we go again." I groaned as I walked out of the door and I bumped strait in to Daniel
he was wearing a black shirt, blue jeans and black shoes Oh voltron he looked amazing
"Y-You look nice" He stuttered
"You do too Daniel" I said while blushing
"Soooo" he said his usual cockiness returning "Any Idea what the oh-so-important announcement is about?"
"Nope not a clue" I replied and we then walked twards the controll room
Where we receved the shock of our lives...
* * *
><p><em>Sorry for yesterday! <em>
_wrighters funk _
_CURSE YOU!_
**Review?**
_hey that rhymed!_
_what is it a crime?_
_A crime to rhyme?_
**REVIEW! **
8. Evil Laughter and sent away princes
**Letters Of love**
**Disclaimer~ Don't own wish I did**
**dbtron2 thank you...did I just rhyme?**
**I blame Dr Seuss it was his b-day on march 2nd and our school celebrates it for the little kids...**
**Happy b-day Susie! and thanks for the wonderful childhood memories!**
><strong>P.S. I've always wanted to try green eggs and ham! XD<strong>
* * *
><p><strong>No one'spov~<strong>
"SHE WILL BE MINE!" a voice boomed across the castle "SHE WILL BE MY BRIDE!"
>A picture of The Beautiful Lady Larmina showing on the holo screen.<br>A servant bowed in front of his master.
"My King everything is set." The servant spoke "and On your command my lord. you will have complete control."
The king sat on a throne looking at his servant he wore a black cloak covering his face so all you could see was his smug grin.
He Laughed evilly
"Good Now SHE will be MINE! MUH HA HA HA HA! MUH HA HA HA HA!"
the King tossed back his head revealing...
* * *
><p><strong>Daniel's Pov~<strong>
We Walked into the control room and The whole team was there. Along with A representative from some planet.
"Ok" I said "We missed something..."
Everyone turned to look at us. giving me a good look at the representatives.
I froze I knew that face...I know That face...
He had messy Black hair and golden eyes. a small scar lay under his left eye he had a strong build and was about 6'2. I stared at him trying to remember where I knew him from...
I let out a shaky breath I didn't know I was holding. and in return received a worried look from Larmina.
"Hello" the man said as he bowed to Larmina. "I am Sir Damion hassar But please Call me Damion." he reached out his hand and Larmina took it shaking it.
"Well hello Damion I am Lady Larmina." she stated but please if you don't mind call me Larmina "And I'm not being rude but why are you here?"
Damion Frowned "Well Larmina I am here in search of our missing prince. when he was just a baby we were forced to send him away because Lotor was Attacking. It wasn't safe for the only heir to our great planet Cressence to grow up on."
Cressence...I knew that name I KNOW THAT NAME!
Allura walked up with tears in her eyes "we will help you in your search...
Damion Smiled "I only hope WE can find him Before its too late..."
* * *
><p><em>Its horrable isnt it...im sorry<em>
_but it will get better!_
_TRUST ME!_
**_REVIEW!_**
End file.
| fanfiction |
the study of viruses of microbes has undergone a revolution in the past 20 years . what has been termed
the third age of phage can be viewed more broadly as a renewal of interest in environmental viruses , and in particular in viruses of microbes [ 2 - 11 ] .
this renewal has been spurred by advances in direct - imaging methods , sequencing technologies and bioinformatics that have revealed a previously unknown world of viral diversity in natural environments .
the study of viruses in the oceans has been key to many discoveries : from the finding that viruses have evolved novel lineages of key photosynthetic genes ( as in cyanophages infecting synechococcus and prochlorococcus [ 13 - 17 ] ) to the identification of many novel viral families that defy much of the conventional wisdom about viral life history ( e.g. the discovery of giant algal - infecting viruses and even viruses that exploit other viruses ) .
altogether , it is well established that a diverse reservoir of viruses infect and lyse bacteria , archaea and microeukaryotes at the base of the ocean 's food web . despite the growing literature on viruses of microbes ,
we remain relatively poorly informed concerning the dynamic , ecological effects of virus infection of marine microbes . in this report , we focus on the functional role of viruses within oceanic waters . in doing so ,
we highlight knowns , unknowns and challenges in three areas : ( i ) the role of ocean viruses in shaping microbial community composition ; ( ii ) the role of ocean viruses in determining carbon and nutrient availability ; ( iii ) modelling efforts to link viral infection of microbes with ecosystem - scale consequences .
viruses , in general , and viruses of microbes , in particular , infect a subset of available hosts in any environment . the subset of hosts that a virus typically infects is narrower than the range of microbes that are typically consumed by a grazer species ( e.g. a protist or zooplankton ) .
however , there is evidence that viruses of microbes can infect hosts from different species or even different genera .
for example , some cyanophages can infect different strains within the same cyanobacteria species , either synechococcus or prochlorococcus , as well as strains of different cyanobacterial genera .
the quantitative study of the host - range of viruses of microbes is in its infancy [ 22 - 26 ] , an issue we return to later .
successful viral infections can lead to lysis of hosts as well as the conversion of hosts into lysogens where the viral genome is integrated into that of the host , subsequently altering host physiology .
ostensibly , viral lysis should decrease the abundance of specific microbial lineages that are targeted by viral infection .
estimates of bacterial - induced mortality suggest that viruses are , in some cases , as important as grazers in selectively killing microbes , whereas , in other cases , they may be the dominant source of microbial mortality .
the depletion of susceptible bacteria leads to the possibility of dynamic fluctuations in viral and microbial populations , a result predicted by simple population models .
nonetheless , direct evidence for coupled oscillations between virus - microbe systems in the oceans is limited .
the reasons are complex , but likely due to the fact that the emergence of new ( or previously rare ) viral subtypes occurs frequently and rapidly [ 34 - 37 ] .
the changing identities of strains and their populations can make it difficult to infer the consequences of virus - microbe interactions .
hence , paradoxically , the seemingly most apparent consequences of viral - induced lysis of microbes may be hard to observe in practice .
we anticipate that observations of virus and microbial abundances in situ via genomic and metagenomic methods , with improved time - scale resolution , will provide direct evidence for specific functional relationships between viruses and microbial hosts .
lysis of microbes involves the release of organic carbon and other nutrients back into the environment .
the viral shunt denotes the fact that cellular materials released as particular or dissolved organic material are not directly available for utilization by organisms from higher trophic levels ( e.g. plankton and fish ) ( see figure 1 ) but are primarily utilized by predominantly heterotrophic bacteria , although some efforts have shown nutrients released in this manner to be rapidly assimilated by eukaryotic plankton . the lysis of microbes by viruses releases cellular material into the environment .
some of this cellular material can be utilized by microbes for subsequent metabolic processes . here
, we note that available dissolved organic material ( dom ) and particulate organic material ( pom ) is utilized primarily by heterotrophs ( the thicker arrow leading downward from the dom / pom pool ) .
note that many other processes are not included in this schematic , e.g. sinking out of the system , exudation during growth , light input , or the influx of inorganic carbon and nutrients .
direct efforts to estimate the viral shunt are rare , with most indirectly determining virus turnover rates and from this inferring virus - mediated elemental release . while several approaches exist to estimate virus production , currently favoured approaches all depend on the same steps : dilution of samples and estimates of virus reoccurrence .
application of these approaches in recent years has begun to provide a broad overview of the variability of virus effects across different oceanic realms [ 40 - 43 ] , with all observations pointing to differing constraints on virus activities in different systems .
in addition , recent evidence suggests that viral lysis of microbes changes the relative distribution of dissolved organic matter with many indirect effects in ocean ecosystems .
for example , viral lysis of microbes shifts organic matter from cells into dissolved and particular organic pools .
the type of organic material released in viral lysis includes a spectrum of molecules ranging from bio - available ( i.e. labile ) to recalcitrant ( see figure 2 ) and may be dependent as much on the location of the lytic event as the players involved . in the deep ocean ,
the fate of virus - released organic matter remains a mystery , but this process may drive the generation of the ancient organic carbon measured by marine chemists . moreover , it is known that virus activity may drive the formation of marine snow by releasing sticky
components from within cells , while at the same time disaggregating particles through cell lysis .
overall , we still know little about how virus activity changes the character of dissolved organic matter , the effect of viruses on carbon distribution ( i.e. fixation , respiration , mineralization and export ) in marine systems , despite the potential impacts on global budgets on both short - term and geological time scales .
the release of cellular materials by viral lysis depicted in figure 1 increases the dissolved organic matter ( dom ) and particulate organic matter ( pom ) in the environment .
for purposes of illustration , we simplify the high - dimensional configuration space of biomolecules into a one - dimensional axis .
the x - axis denotes the degree to which organic material is easy to utilize by organisms ( i.e. labile ) vs. hard to utilize by organisms ( i.e. recalcitrant ) . the y - axis denotes the amount of organic material across this accessibility spectrum .
the vertical arrows denote how a particular process can change the availability of different organic materials , potentially in non - uniform ways .
the horizontal arrows denote that some processes may convert material from one state to another without changing the total amount of material .
we note that characterizing the space of biomolecules and the role of viruses in modifying the relative abundance of biomolecules is an ongoing challenge .
there are data to substantiate the existence of horizontal and vertical arrows ( e.g. ) but less data to substantiate the correct size of horizontal and vertical arrows .
in addition to direct effects , the differential conversion of cellular material by viruses into a spectrum of dissolved organic material may indirectly affect the growth of microbial populations .
this includes the release of lysis byproducts that may stimulate the growth of a subset of heterotrophs as well as eukaryotic auxotrophs . characterizing priming and its consequences constitutes an important area of future research , as determining the fate of carbon released from lysed cells is critical to understand how it is recycled or removed ( i.e. rendered recalcitrant ) from marine carbon budgets .
the study of nutrients may also be critical to this goal , as it has been demonstrated that the release of bioavailable nutrient elements , including n and fe , may maintain ecosystem productivity under conditions where nutrient availability limits carbon production .
finally , the infection of microbes also alters host metabolism , often in significant ways .
for example , cyanophage - infecting cyanobacteria , such as prochlorococcus sp . and synecochoccus sp . ,
increase the overall photosynthetic rate of microbes , presumably changing the fixation rate of carbon from the environment before lysis .
cellular - based studies have confirmed that pathways within cells can be altered at the metabolic level [ 55 - 57 ] .
similarly , persistent infections , such as occurs during lysogeny , can change the rate and type of utilization processes .
hence , infection can alter the behaviour of microbes , as seen from an ecosystem perspective .
the net effect of such differential metabolism at the ecosystem level , however , remains largely unknown .
estimates of the contribution of lysogeny production to virus activity in marine systems remain highly variable .
future work should likely consider changes in cellular biochemistry as well as differences in cellular processes ( e.g. growth efficiency , respiration and photosynthesis , etc . ) between lysogens and uninfected cells .
quantifying these differences is likely to be an important component of efforts to census the overall rates at which viruses affect ecosystem functions .
dynamic models of viral - host interactions in marine environments have , at their core , the same set of assumptions as were made for dynamics of escherichia coli and associated phage in chemostats .
these now - classic box models consider how abundances of hosts , viruses and resources change with time due to the effects of resource uptake , cell division , viral - induced mortality of hosts , and viral reproduction via lysis .
extensions have taken into account a greater complexity of factors , including the possible covariation of bacterial life history traits and viral life history traits . the most prominent extension to ocean systems is termed
kill - the - winner , in which viruses specialize in distinct hosts and contribute to the successive decline of host strains that rise to dominance .
kill - the - winner assumes one - to - one relationships between individual viruses and hosts .
for example , empirical assays of viral - host cross - infectivity reveal that viruses can infect many microbial hosts , and , similarly , microbes can be infected by many viruses [ 13,24 - 26 ] .
a reanalysis of phage - bacteria cross - infection assays found a characteristic nested pattern .
the nested pattern implies there is a hierarchy of infection ability ( amongst viruses ) and susceptibility to infection ( amongst bacteria ) within the re - examined studies .
hence , a major question moving forward is : do the predictions of kill - the - winner and other population ecology models change given other cross - infection assumptions ? in the context of the first direct effect outlined earlier , it would be important to quantify the relationship between who infects whom and the relative abundance and survival of host and viral strains .
perhaps the biggest impediment to predictive modelling of direct and indirect effect of viruses of microbes on microbial community composition and ecosystem function is the empirical observation that rare genotypes can rise to observable levels rapidly and frequently [ 62 - 66 ] .
these changes may be the result of de novo mutation of successful genotypes as well as emergence of pre - existing , yet rare , microbes that experience changes in conditions that dramatically affect fitness .
unifying ecological and evolutionary dynamics in a single model is difficult , and most models of host - viral dynamics neglect evolution entirely .
a few models are available that have begun to assess how such evolutionary details matter .
first , it has been proposed that evolutionary changes in allocation of phytoplankton to virus resistance vs. growth would lead to the evolution of co - limitation by hosts rather than the maximization of host productivity in a given environment .
however , the cost of resistance to viral infection remains largely uncharacterized in natural communities ( see for a laboratory study using marine cyanobacteria ) .
second , an evolutionary kill - the - winner model predicts that constant total diversity can emerge at the community level even if the identities of strains are in constant flux .
this model predicts that at the community scale there may be invariants for which fine - scale evolutionary details do not matter .
some empirical support for this idea comes from one study in which changes in system nutrient levels were buffered despite rapid changes in strains coevolving over a multi - month experiment .
third , multiple coevolutionary models of viral - host interactions mediated by receptor resistance and crispr immune defense demonstrate principles under which coevolutionary - induced diversification may arise . linking models to data and understanding when and which details matter is an issue relevant to the study of viruses of microbes and to problems in microbial ecology more generally .
the potential role of viruses in marine biogeochemical cycles and the viral shunt has been discussed for nearly two decades now , yet the quantitative impact viruses have on regional and global scale processes remains generally unresolved apart from estimates from a few marine virus production surveys [ e.g. 32,38,40,41,77 - 81 ] .
first , there are a number of global earth systems and climate models that integrate geophysical processes with the biology of microbes to metazoans to predict the dynamics of carbon nutrients and biodiversity [ 82 - 84 ] . however , the smallest biotic agents on the planet viruses are rarely , if ever , included in such models .
second , the most recent intergovernmental panel on climate change released its last report in 2007 noting : the overall reaction of marine biological carbon cycling ( including processes such as nutrient cycling as well as ecosystem changes including the role of bacteria and viruses ) to a warm and high - co2 world is not yet well understood .
the assessment of quantitative effects of viruses on populations , communities and ecosystems in a form that can be integrated into large - scale models and climate change scenarios should be a major research goal .
first , data on the quantitative effects of viruses on ecosystem processes are highly variable , and may reflect differences in collection and estimation methods in addition to natural biological variation .
there is a need for increased standardization of methods ( e.g. ) as well as the integration of existing data to relate viral interaction and effect data to environmental and geographic drivers .
second , new methods are being developed to characterize the genomes of viruses of microbes and the microbes they infect ( e.g. ) . yet ,
how much do these details matter ? that is , are there particular host - viral interactions , and even particular lineages or ecotypes , that are key to the flux of particular types of organic and inorganic pools ?
multi - scale mathematical methods can help infer viral effects at large scale based on cellular level interactions .
finally , there is a growing emphasis on the quantification of genomic and transcriptomic diversity within ocean microbes .
however , predicting ecosystem - level effects of viruses of microbes requires quantitative estimates of rates and interactions coinciding with genomic and transcriptomic surveys .
we hope that future work on viruses of microbes in the oceans includes efforts to combine rates , -omics data and mathematical models in the service of answering a fundamental question : what effects do viruses have on the global earth system ? | pubmed |
Liz Elam has a unique, insider's perspective on the global workspace industry. Executive producer of the Global Coworking Unconference Conference and owner of Link Coworking in Austin, Texas, Elam is in constant contact with coworking space operators around the world.
The demand for alternative workspace will continue to thrive.
WeWork will continue to open spaces at a dizzying rate with a seemingly endless supply of money.
Real Estate developers realize they need need coworking in their developments however, they're not finding enough operators that are willing, and able to scale.
The biggest trend we'll see in 2018 is a focus on health and overall wellness.
What trends do you see coming for the shared workspace industry? What do you see from you unique vantage point?
With the economy evolving, coworking is bound to rise and we believe shared workspace is going to be the best way forward. | slim_pajama |
Interfaith Alliance of CO Fights School Prayer Initiative
By Jay Keller
Religious Right leaders in Colorado are aiming to create a ballot initiative to dedicate five minutes each day for "prayer or meditation" in their public schools. Thirteen other states have passed similar legislation, though a federal court is hearing a constitutional challenge to a moment of silence law in Illinois.
Fortunately, one of the strongest chapters of the Interfaith Alliance is based in Colorado and they are already gearing up for this fight. According to a story from 9News, the Denver NBC affiliate:
The Interfaith Alliance of Colorado released a statement on the petition drive. The Interfaith Alliance is a group promoting religious freedom made up of 13 congregational partners across the state with more than 800 members. The statement outlines concerns over intertwining religion and the public school system.
"It is imperative to preserve our democracy by respecting religious freedom, protecting individual rights, and pursuing public policies that promote the common good, instead of one religious or political viewpoint," said Rev. Patrick Hurley, president of the Alliance, in a written statement. "The bottom line is that we believe public schools are for education and not religious worship, rituals, or indoctrination."
Well put. And good luck.
This is a great example of the Religious Right putting lipstick on a pig. Supporters of this type of legislation might call it a moment of silence, but they are really trying to push prayer. And prayer is only genuine when it is voluntary.
In order for the initiative to be listed on this fall's ballot, 76,000 residents must sign a petition. The Colorado Secretary of State has given permission for school prayer supporters to begin collecting signatures. We will keep you posted as Election Day draws closer.
colorado, interfaith alliance, religious right, school prayer
July 22, 2017 – Stopping the Political Religious Right's power grab
The Supreme Court's ruling in Trinity Lutheran v. Comer with constitutional law Prof. Garrett Epps
Dr. Diana Butler Bass, progressive theologian who has long warned of the culture wars backfiring on the political Religious Right
People For the American Way Senior Fellow Peter Montgomery | slim_pajama |
Captain Tsubasa 1. Chapter 1
"DEL SUEÑO A LA REALIDAD"
By Vini. Astrea
Cap. 1
Kojiro Hyuga pronto habría de llegar a Italia; lugar donde se desenvolvería como gran jugador profesional, gracias al buen contrato que le consiguió su Manager, la Srita. Kaori Matsumoto en el Club Italiano "Juventus".
- bien Kojiro, estás listo para dar este gran paso?
- claro que sí, y de nuevo...muchas gracias Srita. Matsumoto... le estaré agradecido por siempre.- decía el chico moreno mientras le hacía una reverencia pues gracias a ella pudo estudiar en el Toho y seguir jugando al soccer.
- no tienes que agradecerme tanto... tienes un gran don, solo quise promoverlo y que el perfil del jugador potencial japonés sea reconocido a nivel internacional... ya estoy buscándote un profesor que hable japonés e italiano para que te enseñe por lo pronto lo básico aquí en Japón y otro que continué en tu enseñanza allá en Italia, te parece?
- sí, mientras más rápido aprenda, será mejor.-
Y con esas últimas palabras, Kojiro salía de la oficina de Matsumoto para empezar a prepararse para su viaje.
Mientras caminaba, los recuerdos llegaron rápidamente a sus pensamientos... aquella vez cuando se enfrentó con unos niños por un balón... cuando su padre le regaló el "vestuario y balón de soccer"... la muerte de su padre y la preocupación de su madre por lograr que sus hijos salieran adelante... la gran lucha de Kojiro por ayudar desde niño a su madre trabajando en lo que podía y entrenándose como pudiese.
A partir de ahí fue que la actitud de Kojiro cambió... los "amigos" de su padre fueron un motor para que él se convirtiera en alguien reservado pues... muchas veces uno da todo por los amigos y éstos luego te dan la espalda. Como el caso de los amigos de su padre, a quienes no les importó que "su amigo", el padre de Hyuga, estuviera ya en casi delirio; fue cuando se aparecieron a cobrarles.
- Ha pasado tantas cosas, tanto tiempo... conocí a Tsubasa Ozhora y desde ese momento mis ilusiones por ser profesional se afianzaron... me ha costado trabajo llegar hasta donde estoy... pero también gracias a Gamo, cuando me corrió con los otros chicos pude conocerme más a mí mismo.- decía Kojiro en voz alta mientras caminaba con sus manos en los bolsillos del pantalón.
- Huyga, qué gusto verte!
Kojiro volteó a donde dicha voz provenía – Hola Nakazawa, ¿cómo has estado, que sorpresa el verte por acá
- estoy muy bien, gracias, vine acompañando a mi mamá, a su vez aproveché para pasear por acá y mirar un poco... por lo que sé, tú estás muy bien... ya hasta te vi en la televisión y sé que fichaste para un equipo italiano.
Kojiro se ruborizó un poco al recordar que había salido en comerciales para la TV
- jaja, quien hubiera imaginado que el gran tigre saldría como modelo de "x" producto... .- comentaba risueña Nakazawa
- bueno, se presentó la oportunidad... la paga era buena y mis hermanos ya están más grande... decidí hacerlo para dárselo a ellos
- lo sé Hyuga, tú siempre tan preocupado por tu familia. Y dime, como vas con lo de tu viaje a Italia?.- preguntó Sanae mientras ambos caminaban.
- te parece si te invito a tomar un café y platicamos?
Mientras tanto, Kaori Matsumoto ya estaba en búsqueda de un profesor que pudiera auxiliar a Kojiro en una semana para que aprendiese lo básico. No fue una búsqueda tan complicada pues encontró una página web de un instituto de enseñanza en idiomas.
La sede de la Institución estaba en Tokio, Japón. De hecho, no muy lejos de donde quedaba la oficina de ella y decidió ir al lugar. Y al llegar ahí:
- buenas tardes Srita.- saludaba Matsumoto a la recepcionista quien con una indicación con los dedos le decía que le esperara un poco pues coincidió con la entrada de la llamada por el auricular.
Matsumoto observó el lugar... algo sencillo, parecía más bien una casa, había unas escaleras para subir al piso de arriba, unos cuantos sillones azul marino que combinaban con el diseño del interior; cuadros de fotografías de diferentes lugares y monumentos simbólicos del mundo.
- discúlpeme, ahora sí... en qué le puedo servir?
- quisiera hablar con el encargado del idioma Italiano, cree que podría verlo en este momento?
- mmm, permítame un segundo, déjeme ver si su agenda tiene espacio... bueno, en 30 minutos tiene un espacio, podría esperarlo? .- preguntaba la secretaría mientras tecleaba en el ordenador (PC)
- 30 minutos?... no puede antes, de verdad es importante, soy Kaori Matsumoto, representante de Kojiro Hyuga.- aunque Matsumoto prefería no usar muchas veces sus influencias o nombre, tenía que hacerlo
- está bien... deje me salgo del rol de secretaria.- entonces ella se ponía de pie y se pasaba al lugar donde estaba Matsumoto.
- Eriko Kanzaki, encargada del idioma italiano en esta institución... y también me gusta el deporte...
- ah, vaya... no sabía...
- no se disculpe... la secretaria de este turno enfermó y pues ya llevo varios días sustituyéndola y de hecho en 30 minutos viene la otra chica que se encarga...pero por favor, que le parece si nos sentamos en la pequeña sala.
Fue así que ambas mujeres conversaron de todo un poco, las intenciones de Matsumoto, las necesidades que requería Kojiro y de paso la charla sobre el nuevo fichaje para Italia.
- vaya, sí que es sorprendente Srita. Matsumoto... pues... esta es una institución en la cual se necesita de la asistencia de los alumnos a las aulas, pero...llámeme pasado mañana y le podré tener el dato de otra persona que podrá acoplarse a sus necesidades perfectamente
- en serio?... pues entonces le estoy muy agradecida, y es una lástima que Kojiro no pueda estar en este instituto.
- mire, qué le parece si yo personalmente y en mis horas fuera de aquí le enseño el Italiano?...aparte me encantaría conocer a Kojiro Hyuga, de chica practiqué un poco el soccer en un equipo femenil.
- me parece estupendo, dígame sus horarios para hacer que Kojiro se acople en estos 9 días.
Rápidamente se pusieron de acuerdo ellas para enseguida Matsumoto llamar al japonés, quien aún se encontraba platicando con Sanae y actualizando las noticias; más que nada, a nivel profesional y aunque Sanae sabía que Kojiro tenía un "romance" no quiso preguntarle ya que ella sabe que él es muy reservado.
- bueno Kojiro, tengo que irme, ya es la hora en que me veré con mi mamá, muchas gracias por el café y la plática, me dio mucho gusto verte
- igualmente, no olvides mis saludos para Ozhora
- claro que no, le presumiré todo lo que has hecho.- y con estas palabras ella le sonrió y él ante dicho comentario solo hizo una mueca con la sonrisa, de cierta manera le entraba el orgullo de saber que Ozhora se enteraría del nuevo fichaje de él…Hyuga claro que estaba orgulloso el poder salir de Japón para adquirir la famosa experiencia internacional y posteriormente junto con los demás, lograr la copa del mundo.
Nota:
Espero que este nuevo fic cumpla las expectativas nuevas que me he planteado.
Eriko Kanzaki, personaje de Vini Astrea.
2. Chapter 2
Cap. 2
La noche caía y Hyuga terminaba pendientes en el departamento donde vivía. De pronto alguien llamó a la puerta.
- quién podrá ser a esta hora?.- el Tigre dejó de hacer sus actividades y se dirigió a ésta, al abrirla se encontró con una mujer de cabello y ojos medianos aparentemente negros, pero que en realidad eran café oscuro, el cabello alzado en coleta con algo de fleco, de una estatura de 1.75, morena y una complexión media; ella ya miraba por otro rumbo del edificio.
- sí, en qué puedo ayudarla?.- preguntaba Kojiro
la chica volteó hacia la puerta y sus ojos se sorprendieron al ver tan buena figura de éste quien llevaba un pantalón donde podía apreciar los fuertes muslos y una camisa de manga corta blanca que hacía notar los bíceps y pectorales del muchacho.
- wow!...digo…perdón… Hola, mi nombre es Kanzaki, Eriko Kanzaki… su maestra de Italiano provisional
- ah, vaya…la Srita. Matsumoto me comentó que vendría mañana.- decía el chico de cabellera un tanto larga
- sí, lo sé…pero decidí pasar antes aquí para charlar con usted de ese tema .- respondía la chica quien intentaba dirigirle su mirada a los ojos de éste, la verdad se había puesto un poco nerviosa. – espero no le importe mucho mi visita no anunciada –
Kojiro le ofreció el paso a ella hacia el interior de su departamento que ya se notaba desarreglado debido a la próxima mudanza.
- Srita. Kanzaki, usted disculpe el desorden, pero como ha de saber pronto viajaré a Italia.- decía Kojiro mientras rápidamente ponía en orden la sala para poder sentarse.
- no se preocupe, está más arreglado su departamento que el mío.- decía entre dientes Eriko mientras veía todo el departamento
- perdón, qué dijo?.- cuestionó Kojiro mientras desocupaba la mesita de la sala
- ah, que no se preocupe, su departamento está bien arreglado y bonito.
- gusta sentarse?
Era un jueves por la noche para afinar detalles y el viernes por la noche empezaría Kanzaki con su nuevo alumno.
Fue así que ambos jóvenes charlaron de los objetivos que tendrían para los siguientes meses, de la manera en que iban a trabajar estos días, y cómo trabajaría él con otra persona en Italia.
- aún no me confirma esta persona que está en Italia, pero la ventaja es que es japonés y no creo que vaya usted a batallar con él y menos con el idioma. Yo por lo pronto le enseñaré de manera rápida lo básico del griego y latín para fácilmente adentrarnos al italiano, cómo ve el plan?
- sabes, creo que tenemos la misma edad; podríamos hablarnos no tan formalmente?
Este cuestionamiento del chico sacó de balance a Kanzaki, ella sabía que Hyuga era reservado con todas las personas, bueno, excepto su familia y los amigos muy allegados.
- este… claro…entonces, como ves éstas próximas actividades, además, de una vez te digo que la Srita. Matsumoto me agendó todo el día este próximo sábado y domingo y el de la siguiente semana.
- soy mejor en el deporte que en los estudios, pero ten por seguro que pondré todo mi empeño; todo será por Italia y el soccer
- esa es la actitud Hyuga!... la cual Ozhora yo creo que no lo pensó tanto, su portugués no era bueno cuando se fue a Brasil, pero al menos supo defenderse con lo aprendido y allá…pues ya se dio a entender con el fútbol y aprendió más, por cierto, cómo vez que ya terminó su ciclo en Brasil y empezará a buscar otro club?
- me da gusto por él, quisiera que se fuera a la liga italiana para poder enfrentarlo y demostrarle mi mejorado juego.- contestaba el chico apretando el puño. Ya no odiaba como antes a Tsubasa, pero aún existía esa rivalidad
- y te has comunicado con Shingo?
A partir de ese momento empezaron a hablar de fútbol y la selección japonesa. De las actuaciones de Genzo Wakabayashi en Alemania, Taro Misaki en Francia, Aoi Shingo en Italia.
- yo insisto que Ken debería moverse e ir a probar suerte tal como Shingo hizo.- sin querer, ella miró el reloj; era ya la 1am. – cielos, pero si es tardísimo…, bueno Hyuga, fue un placer, entonces mañana te veo a las 8pm y yo pienso que ya tendré noticias de la persona que seguirá en tu enseñanza en Italia. – Eriko se despidió de Kojiro no sin antes éste ofrecerse a acompañarla a su casa; Huyga no solo es agresividad, también buen caballero con las mujeres.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
- Hola, habla Nakazawa
- Sanae, cómo estás?
- Tsubasa, que agradable escuchar tu voz… pues yo estoy bien, ya en pijama, pero bien, dónde estás?
- ah, perdón, estoy en el aeropuerto de Barcelona, España y pues quise decirte que andaré por acá antes de ir a otros países y luego decidir el club donde jugaré, dime, cómo está Ryo y los demás.
- bueno, los muchachos están muy bien, sufriéndole con sus clubs respectivos y uno que otro estudioso, Misugi es el único que ha podido combinar bien el club y la medicina y que más… ah! Kojiro ha fichado para un Club Italiano, aparte de que se ha convertido en un sex symbol de la tv al anunciar productos para hombres.-
- vaya, de verdad, pero que bien… así cada día la posibilidad de ganar la copa del mundo se ve más cerca…que buena noticia, Genzo en Alemania, Taro en Francia, Shingo en Italia y ahora Kojiro en este último… tendré que decidir lo más pronto posible donde he de quedarme…
- sí, de hecho lo vi hoy y te manda saludos, la Srita. Matsumoto le anda buscando profesor que le enseñe italiano.- Sanae y Tsubasa se quedaron conversando un rato más
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Eriko al llegar a su respectivo departamento, tomó su agenda telefónica y telefoneo a aquel prospecto que podría darle seguimiento en Italia a Kojiro
- contesta…contesta- hablaba Kanzaki en voz baja mientras buscaba algo de comer en el refrigerador y se quitaba los zapatos.
- sí, bueno? .- se escuchaba por el auricular
- ef, teb tafdaste en contesftar .- hablaba ella con el trozo de pan en la boca, el teléfono apoyado en su hombro y con las manos quitándose los calcetines.
- Eriko, no me digas que te entró la ansiedad nuevamente de comer y hablarme a estas horas….- decía entre risas aquella voz
- baka!... cómo se te ocurre pensar eso, de perdis salúdame, no?
- está bien, cómo estás amiga Eriko Kanzaki… yo bien…pero bien adormilado, a qué se debe este honor de una llamada tuya si no es por un momento de ansiedad…o qué, ahora sí me invitas a dormir contigo?
- JA- JA- JA, bueno, mejor te llamo en otra ocasión.- hablaba enfadada ella mientras le daba mordida a su pedazo de pan.
- no te enojes preciosa, anda, mándame un besito para despertarme
- Ian, no seas coqueto y pásame el teléfono de Luik Nakata…
- está bien nena, deja lo busco… supongo que quieres el de Italia verdad?
- ay, haste tonto!...claro que es el de Italia.
Eriko Kanzaki, Luik Nakata e Ian Takahashi se habían conocido desde niños. Eriko y Luik estudiaron desde pequeños el Italiano, con los años daban de repente lecciones de dicho idioma conforme iban creciendo.
Luik e Ian eran unos buenos jugadores de fútbol, pero dadas ciertas circunstancias, Nakata decidió tomar en serio sus estudios e irse a Italia para prepararse mejor mientras que Takahashi inició su hobbie de ser fotógrafo, aunque Eriko lo catalogaba como "paparazzi" (o paparatzzi? O.o )…claro, como era el "riquillo" no se preocupaba mucho por el dinero aunque obviamente no le cumplían sus caprichos.
Nota:
Ian Takahashi y Luik Nakata son personajes de Vini Astrea.
Vaya, no pensé que fuera a utilizar a tanto personaje mío O.O; solo me faltaría Nikki xD pa usar a mi cuarteto… y por qué no, bueno, a ver como se torna el desarrollo de la propia historia. Debuta "Eriko Kanzaki", la inventé para un fic de Samael y decidí debutarla en esta historia a la gran Kanzaki.
3. Chapter 3
**Capítulo 3.**
By Vini Astrea.
Al día siguiente 8pm alguien tocaba la puerta en donde vivía el número 9 de la selección japonesa.
- Kanzaki, que puntual eres.- comentaba éste mientras la invitaba a pasar a su departamento
- la puntualidad es primordial ante todo Hyuga, ¿listo para tu primera lección?.- cuestionaba Eriko mientras una vez más se embobaba con el cuerpo atlético de él.
- pues, veamos qué tan complicado es esto.- respondía el chico moreno ante un gesto de "qué miedo"
Así transcurrieron las primeras horas enseñando lecciones básicas, algo de teoría y aunque Kojiro solo hiciera gestos de "no entiendo mucho" Eriko le tenía mucha paciencia, había tenido peores alumnos que la habían logrado desesperar, pero Hyuga aparentaba que sería buen alumno.
Mientras tanto, en un rincón del país de la pasta, ya hacían tres chicos que combinaban el fútbol y el ser "comentarista deportivo"…
- ah que buen pase!... y viene Shingo, se quita a uno, se burla a otro, oo, semáforo… Aoi se detiene, alza la vista y ve a su compañero Luik sin marca… allá va!
- Nakata recibe de pechito, la baja a sus pies, hace una finta…corre con el balón, se quita a uno, a otro a otro… pero oh! Una muralla como portero está enfrente de Luik quien no logra encontrar un buen ángulo…un momento, Shingo está desmarcado y pasa el balón.
- ja! No podrán conmigo!
- nos enfrentamos una vez más Gino!...te mostraré mi… bueno, no es nuevo tiro pero es uno de tantos…Aoi tira y….!
Era una tarde soleada en el bello Milán, Italia, Gino, Aoi y Luik se encontraban en un parque público donde mínimo una vez al mes se reunían para jugar fútbol con una lata y jugaban a ser narradores; también hablaban de todo un poco, y obviamente el tema del fútbol no podía faltar.
Gino había adquirido el puesto de arquero titular en la primera división del Inter. De Milán. Shingo estaba apunto de partir de esa ciudad y club pues había fichado en el Club Albase. Nakata estudiaba en la Universidad de Milán pero probablemente iría como intercambio de algunos meses a Mónaco.
- escuché que tu compatriota Kojiro Hyuga ha fichado para el Juventus.- comentaba el portero de la selección Italiana mientras tomaba agua; los tres ya estaban en el césped sentados.
- sí, me da gusto que un japonés más se una a estas filas, eso nos sirve mucho por la experiencia y para subir el nivel de juego del japonés.- comentaba entusiasta Shingo mientras dominaba el balón con los pies y Luik jugando con la lata
Luik Nakata, un joven delgado, piel un tanto morena, de pelo castaño y ojos verdes; había sido el maestro de Aoi Shingo para perfeccionar su italiano; a partir de ese momento se convirtieron en amigos pues a Luik también le gustaba el soccer y en ocasiones lo practicaban o entrenaban juntos. Esto se dio más cuando Aoi tuvo que esforzarse ante las críticas de sus otros similares italianos.
Aunque Shingo era súper hiperactivo, Luik prefería no seguirle el paso; quería evitar algún incidente ya que si algo le pasaba... el acudir al médico con el seguro escolar... bueno, era mucho procedimiento para recibir atención médica.
- ¿y ya conoces Turín, digo... si Hyuga llega allá Y tú le ayudaras, pues suena lógico que vayas a esa ciudad por unos días, no crees? .- preguntaba Gino mientras veía en el fondo a unos niños jugando donde previamente ellos lo habían hecho.
- de hecho no lo conozco, jeje, lo más seguro es que aproveche los viáticos y pueda pasearme también por allá.- comentaba el joven Nakata mientras se ponía de pie para enseguida correr a jugar con esos niños.
Aoi y Fernández se quedaron en el césped observando a Luik jugar con aquellos "futbolistas", en el fondo se escuchaba –ey, él vale por tres... no es justo...mejor todas contra él... sí!-
- Shingo... siempre me he cuestionado la razón por la cual Nakata no se dedicó al fútbol, se ve que tiene mucha madera... incluso me atrevería a pensar que podría estar a la par de Tsubasa Ozhora..quizá éste comentario mío es muy precipitado, pero me he dado cuenta de ese detalle cuando jugamos..- señalaba Gino mientras veía como un niñito le pasaba el balón entre las piernas a Luik.
- pues yo le he preguntado y sólo me responde que prefirió estudiar el Italiano... en fin, siempre lo veo como que es feliz jugando en la manera que lo hace, casi no hablamos al respecto porque me cambia el tema.
Mientras aquellos disfrutaban el clima italiano, Kojiro sufría con su idioma
- no es tan sencillo... yo pienso que el mejor idioma es el fútbol ; no hace falta aprender a hablar
- mmm, por favor no caigas mucho en esa teoría... a ver... si el árbitro italiano te expulsa o te dice algo… crees que te lo va a decir en japonés, claro que no! ...- Eriko elevaba un poco la voz - no te me "atsubases" (1) por favor.
- ¿eh? ¿Cómo?
- ah, jejejeje, perdón...- enseguida se sonrojó y bajó el tono de su voz -es que tengo un amigo que saca cada palabra rara... quise decir que no pienses como Tsubasa u otros jugadores; al menos hay que saber lo básico... aunque por este día, hemos terminado.
- vaya, gracias... ya empezaba a desesperarme.- comentaba Hyuga mientras se ponía de pie para estirar las piernas.
- por cierto, antes de que se me olvidé... la Srita. Matsumoto me dijo que es muy probable que estando en Turín tengas la conferencia de prensa; entonces te he de encargar que me redactes lo que te gustaría decir para yo traducirlo y que te lo aprendas... de acuerdo?
Hyuga hizo una mueca de gusto y con aires de grandeza dijo – insolentes!... verán al mejor goleador japonés en Italia.-
Kanzaki al escuchar soltó una pequeña sonrisa, se puso también de pie, y tratando de imitar a Kojiro añadió – eso lo puedes decir aquí en Japón!...pero allá en Italia es diferente!
- ¿¿cómo dices? .- preguntó Hyuga, después de calmarse sus aires de superioridad y nuevamente ambos japoneses se sentaron para que Eriko le explicara un poco del "hábitat" italiano.
Mientras tanto, Tsubasa había llegado al estadio del Barca, el Presidente del Club le dio personalmente la visita a las instalaciones, pero rápidamente Ozhora prefirió ir al estadio; el Estadio más grande de Europa (2)
El número 10 de la selección japonesa en su primera visita enfrentó a los 3 titulares defensas del equipo A; demostrando las agallas que tiene y el por qué en Japón y Brasil era considerado el mejor. De cualquier manera, Ozhora se percató del diferente estilo de juego que tenían los equipos brasileños y europeos, logrando que éste decidiera quedarse y alcanzar un puesto titular en el equipo del Barcelona.
- nosotros tenemos a Rivaul en la misma posición donde juega Tsubasa; no le será fácil entrar rápidamente a las filas del equipo A. .- comentaba Gonzáles al ver partir al japonés a la enfermería.
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- bueno, ya es tarde, mañana me toca dar clases a primera hora así que por hoy me retiro... .- hablaba Eriko después de contarle a Hyuga un poco del cómo vivían en Italia
- muchas gracias Kanzaki, quieres que te acompañe?
- no te preocupes, mejor de una vez empieza a realizar la tarea que te he encargado, jejeje.
Kojiro desvió la mirada provocando la risa de ella – ya sé que no te gusta hacer la tarea, me lo dijo la Srita. Matsumoto, pero ya quedamos que si aprendes italiano podrás defenderte de los demás.
Y con estas palabras, ella salió del apartamento de él. Caminó a paso veloz para llamar a su amigo Luik y ver si éste podría ayudar en el proceso de aprendizaje del jugador nipón.
Kojiro ya hacía en su cama donde se quedó pensativo – vaya, esto será un gran reto... pero es mi sueño... me convertiré en el mejor goleador de Italia...
**Notas:**
(1) en el argot de mi trabajo con mi compañero de mi área, solemos hablar de esa manera tratando de decir que no siga otro las actitudes o peticiones de otra persona. Claro que es en el afán de bromear.
(2) según el road anime.
**Mensaje:** Gracias por sus lecturas, me da gusto que el comienzo haya sido de su agrado. La verdad, originalmente no tenía pensado usar a Kojiro, ya había escrito 2 capítulos con Tsubasa, pero lo pensé bien y él no me daría el ancho para la trama de esta historia; la personalidad de Kojiro es la que me servirá...así que rescribí. Espero no salirme de su entorno.
Bueno, algunas quizá no sepan, pero Luik Nakata ya había salido en una historia anterior a esta, en mi fic titulado _Figthing _. Cabe señalar que ahí él es un niño y en esta pues ya son adultos. No les cuento más, se enterarán como gira también este trama conforme se vaya avanzando.
Sobre Ian Takahashi, les ha de ser familiar, pues es un personaje que le he prestado últimamente a Lily de Wakabayashi.
Y de Eriko Kanzaki... pues poco a poco conocerán su personalidad jeje. Quizá a Samel le sirva conocerla para su fic.
Me despido.
Vini Astrea.
4. Chapter 4
Capítulo 4
La joven japonesa, llegaba a su vivienda dispuesta a llamar a su amigo
- a ver... dónde dejé el número telefónico de Luik...- ella entonces marcaba el teléfono que Ían le había dado...
_- mmm... estás llamando a la línea caliente de las mujeres más hermosas en Italia_.- (Obviamente en italiano xD) dicho comentario fue el desconcierto ya que en vez de contestarle Luik o su contestadora, fuese una grabación "hotline", ella inmediatamente colgó el teléfono y maldijo en voz baja – Takahashi pervertido!... cómo pudo darme ese número el muy... ayyy,... pero ahorita me las pagará!
Eriko salió de su departamento, subió 8 escaleras y golpeo una puerta con tal fuerza como si la fuese a tirar; era la vivienda de Ían...éste de tan tremendo ruido se apresuró a abrir la puerta, se hizo chiquito al ver los ojos fúricos de su amiga Kanzaki
- E..E... eeeeeeeee...stoy asutado...
- me puedes decir por qué me diste este teléfono?.- Kanzaki cambiaba pronto a unos ojos de fuego mientras abordaba a Takahashi
- E... E... este..me equivoque... pero ahorita te lo doy... es más, llámalo desde aquí y yo mientras te preparo un sándwich cómo de los que te gustan, de acuerdo?
Kanzaki estaba molesta, pero cuando escuchó la palabra "sándwich" su expresión se tornó al a normalidad... – pero sin mostaza... diablos, ya sabes mi punto débil para contentarme –
- siempre lo he sabido preciosa! .- al parecer Takahashi había vuelto a sus aires de galán
- pero también sabes de que si no me lo traes me enojo peor, así que.. yo que tú iba a la cocina y lo preparaba, inclusive que esté un poco tostado, no? .- tal cual niña pequeña platicaba Eriko mientras buscaba el teléfono inalámbrico de Ían entre el desorden – dónde está tu teléfono? .- preguntaba ella a grito pues él ya estaba en la cocina
- por ahí... búscalo bien!
- qué desorden tienes.- le exclamaba después de encontrarlo y en seguida la respuesta de Takahashi fue que no se quejara pues el departamento de ella también era desarreglado la mayor parte de la semana.
- parece que Luik no está, me ha contestado su grabadora - _Hola, en este momento no te puedo atender, deja tu mensaje y tú número para comunicarme contigo, chao.-_
- Luik, habla Eriko, espero te encuentres bien, llamo porque quiero platicar contigo respecto a un jugador japonés que irá a Italia, si llegas pronto estaré en casa de Ían, llámame. Besos.
A la par, en la bella Italia
- oye grandulón... eso no es justo, tú vales el triple de nosotros… .- se quejaba un niño
- ey Luik… ya deja que te gane "_il ragazzo" _ o Gino y yo nos uniremos al equipo de ellos.- advertía divertido Aoi cuando se ponía de pie.
- eso suena interesente… todos contra Nakata… me agrada la idea, solo que será en otra ocasión, tengo que ir a mi casa por si me habla mi amiga.
- no huyas cobarde! .- le gritaban los niñitos a coro a lo que Luik solo volteó y les dijo que no huye, sino que solo se ausenta para que entrenen pues estará muy difícil que lo derroten. – jajajaja, nos vemos chicos.-
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Kojiro no podía concentrarse en las actividades que Eriko le había encargado, ante dicha situación se preparó y salió a hacer un poco de ejercicio corriendo por la ruta que hace tiempo no recorría; sería de las últimas veces donde podría apreciar el reflejo de la luna que iluminaba ese camino.
- soy el mejor! … seré el mejor! … nadie me detendrá… les demostraré de lo que soy capaz… .- fueron los únicos pensamientos en su ejercicio.
Regresando a Milán, Luik llegaba a su vivienda en donde percibió que tenía mensajes en su contestadota; el chico se alegró al saber que era su amigo Eriko devolviéndole la llamada inmediatamente.
- Ían, está sonando tu teléfono
- pues contesta…
Eriko terminó de darle un trago a su bebida no sin antes mandarle una mirada asesina al flojo de Takahashi quien ya se encontraba viendo un video de chicas haciendo aerobics cuando contestó, su gritó se escuchó por todo el cuarto
- LUIK! Que gusto oírte
- "_lo mismo digo Eriko, hace tiempo que no me hablabas"_
__- bueno, tú sabes que sale un poco costosa la llamada, a parte, no te quejes que por medio de la web nos comunicamos
- "_es cierto, jeje, solo quise hacerme un poco el sentido."- _En eso, Luik escucha el quejido de Ìan el cual consistía en que ya que él pagaría la llamada, al menos hablaran en un idioma que conociera. Fue entonces que la charla amigable empezó, actualizándose un poco de los últimos sucesos y pronto llegaron al tema principal: Kojiro Hyuga
- "_así que pronto llegará al Juventus…y cómo vas con él?".- _preguntaba Nakata desde el otro lado
- no te puedo decir mucho, recién empezamos las clases, pero lo que sí te puedo decir es que está más que dispuesto a aprender el idioma…lo que me preocupa un poco, es que tú estarás en Milán y él en Turín
- "_bueno, realmente no está tan retirado estos dos poblados, puedo tener comunicación por él vía Chat, practicar las lecciones y los fines de semana irme para allá… no te preocupes que lo dejas en buenas manos, ya me las ingeniaré para que todo salga bien…como dices, la disposición es lo primordial, y si la tienes, no hay nada por temer"_
- entonces, aceptas el trabajo?
_- "claro! Y más si se trata de un jugador de su talla, ojalá y podamos acoplarnos y de paso jugar un poco de fútbol, jejeje"_
- es una lástima que no lo hayas podido hacer a nivel profesional.- se lamentaba un poco Kanzaki
_- "lo sé… pero, sabes el motivo por el que no seguí; al menos soy positivo y me conformo en poderlo jugar por diversión…hoy estuve con Gino y Aoi jugando, y luego me retaron unos niños, jejeje, no me ganaron, por cierto, te mandan saludos los astros del Milán, que cuándo vienes a visitarnos?"_
- bueno, hay una gran posibilidad que vaya por unos días, habrá una conferencia de prensa y podría ir como traductora; solo me quedaría como unos 2 días
- oigan! Yo también quiero ir! .- gritaba Ían
- y tú que?... no tienes nada qué hacer allá…
Una vez más empezaba la discusión de estos dos como si fueran aún unos niños mientras que Nakata se reía de las regañadas que Eriko le ponía a Ìan.
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Al siguiente día, muy temprano Kojiro se despertaba para ir a correr, una vez más decidió ir por el circuito de anoche y al llegar ahí, se llevó la sorpresa de encontrarse a Eriko con un chico. Ambos estaban discutiendo y Hyuga se acercó a ellos.
- Eriko, acaso él te está molestando?
- cómo que **Eriko**… óyeme… desde cuando la llamas Eriko y no Kanzaki o tutora… sinvergüenza
- qué dijiste?.- preguntó el moreno Hyuga apretando el puño
- chicos….- intentaba intervenir Kanzaki
- lo que oíste…insolente
Kojiro instantáneamente se le dejó ir a Takahashi con un gran puñetazo que el otro ni se lo esperaba haciéndolo caer de la tremenda fuerza
- qué te pasa idiota?.-cuestionaba desde el piso el fotógrafo
- Hyuga, es amigo mío y no estábamos discutiendo como tú crees..- hablaba un poco asustada Eriko
Kojiro al escuchar de Kanzaki esas palabras no dio un segundo golpe, solo miró a ella y le comentó que la vería a la misma hora; enseguida se marchó.
- pero qué le pasa?... ni disculpas me pidió.- refunfuñaba Ían mientras se sobaba la quijada
- te lo merecías .- afirmaba ella
- qué!... cómo que me lo merecí!...estás de su lado, verdad!
- sabes qué… ya me voy al instituto, tú quédate a llorar como niña por un simple golpecito.-
- sí me dolió eh!...no me perdonas lo del teléfono verdad.- susurraba haciéndose el dramático Takahashi
- ay… ya me voy..- exclamaba en un tono rudo la chica
- de acuerdo, te sigo acompañando….- Entonces los dos amigos siguieron su camino discutiendo de la razón por lo que el mexico-japonés se merecía ese golpe
- ni un apapacho me das? T.T (já, no sea llorón XD)
continuarà.-----
Nota:
Bueno, creo que sí lograré tener un poco más de material a comparación que _Figthing_. Ojalá me sigan leyendo y se enteren de cómo irá a terminar todo esto y cómo es la forma en que se desenvuelven todos estos personajes.
Una vez más, gracias por sus lecturas y sus comentarios; esto hace que le ponga más velocidad
Un Agradecimiento especial a KISHIDA, por proporcionarme datos puntuales del manga para este fic.
Mitzuko-chan, el capi fue igual de largo a los otros xD, los estoy haciendo de un mínimo. Con respecto a ese fic de triangulo amoroso "Our Relation" pues como lo estoy haciendo con otra persona, pues se detiene y ella está saturada de tareas. Así que la actualización en estos momentos va muy lenta u.u gommen (o como se escriba P).
Jeje investigaré qué significa ERIKO U.U
5. moles
**Capítulo 5**
"**moles"**
Kojiro siguió haciendo su recorrido matutino y por el camino se encontró a sus buenos amigos.
- capitán, qué gusto encontrarlo por aquí.- se mostraba entusiasta Sawada
- hola Kojiro!.- saludaba el portero de aquella gran selección escolar; el Toho.
Ambos jugadores instantáneamente notaron la expresión que tenía su capitán en su rostro; aquella cara de pocos amigos, su mirada estaba más dura de lo normal; esas pupilas a punto de estallar.
El sol de la mañana seguía resplandeciendo en aquellas calles tranquilas de Tokio, el viento fresco ocasionaba que tanto la cabellera de Kojiro como la de Ken se ondearan, los pajarillos estaban a todo pulmón y revoloteo por donde se encontraban los muchachos.
- ya estás listo para tu encuentro con el fútbol italiano?.- preguntaba un poco nervioso Sawada
lo único que se limitó a responder Kojiro fue un simple "sí", ante dicha respuesta y actitud, Ken intentó calmar un poco aquella rabieta que sabía que sentía en ese momento su amigo -qué tal si hacemos un pequeño juego- sugirió, - nosotros tres...aunque quizá Sorimachi no tarde en llegar, te parece Kojiro?.-
- bien, me agrada la idea de realizar disparos... estás preparado Ken?
- claro, más que nunca! Veamos que tanto demostrarás a los italianos!.-
- oigan, no se olviden de mi!.- gritaba el más joven al ver a sus amigos echar rápidamente la carrera a la cancha pública de fútbol.
Así, los tres chicos salieron corriendo hacia el campo de fútbol más próximo. Hyuga vestido con una sudadera gris y short azul marino, tobilleras y sus tennis. Vaya que esos italianos se darían cuenta de la fuerza de Kojiro, pues se podía admirar semejantes piernas musculosas. Ken y Takeshi portaba pants y sudaderas ajustadas.
- Takeshi, vaya que tu velocidad ha aumentado; te felicito..- comentaba el moreno de cabellera larga. Al instante hicieron unos estiramientos previos y empezaron a jugar; no tardó mucho Sorimachi en unírseles y recordar algunas jugadas de cuando estaban en el Toho.
En otro lugar del bello Tokio, Takahashi después de acompañar a Eriko al trabajo, se encontraba parloteando con su amiga "la consciencia". Caminaba y se sobaba la quijada al mismo tiempo, aunque sus caminados daban mucho qué desear después del sentonazo que también se propició; colosal golpe había recibido del número 9 de la selección japonesa.
- sí se me hace un moretón…. Me las pagará, tengo una cita mañana …ouch, si los burros patean fuerte… éste tipo aparte de patear como burro también pega como burro (sic), qué bueno que no me pateo… y luego Kanzaki sale al rescate defendiéndole… uy, y hablando de burros, allá está el animal jugando, pero me las pagará…
Ían se acomodó la gorra que traía en esa ocasión con el lema de "los bikini´s del caribe", se subió un poco el short, tomó valor y fue a enfrentarse a Kojiro.
Rato después, la Srita. Matsumoto estaba en su oficina cuando recibió una llamada.
- Kanzaki, qué gusto tener noticias tuyas… dime, qué lograste conseguir?.- preguntaba la gran manager mientras no perdía de vista unos contratos de publicidad que estaban casi listos para el futbolista.
Eriko después de dar unas indicaciones en italiano a sus alumnos, continuó con su charla - pues ya tengo el contacto que estará al pendiente de Kojiro en Italia, está más qué dispuesto, su nombre es Nakata, Luiks Nakata. Está haciendo estudios más a fondo del idioma y yo lo recomiendo ampliamente.-
Matsumoto cambió del teléfono a una diadema inalámbrica para poder moverse por su oficina – bien, Srita. Kanzaki, ¿le sería posible que nos acompañara al gran país de las pastas y vino mientras Kojiro se instala en Turín, le cubriremos sus viáticos claro está y a su vez nos presentará con el amigo suyo del cual me está comentando, aparte de que en la conferencia de prensa necesitaremos una traductora y usted sería la ideal, tendría muy buena presencia ante las cámaras y con los medios de comunicación.
- vaya, qué halago de su parte, con todo gusto los acompaño, solo que le confirmaría en una hora, tengo que hablar con Recursos Humanos de aquí del instituto para hacer los procedimientos respectivos, no creo que exista problema alguno, pero tenga la certeza de que viajaré.
Matsumoto sonrió – muy bien, esperaré su confirmación. – Enseguida colgó cuando a los 10 minutos recibió otra llamada – Aló, habla Matsumoto…- ella se detuvo rápidamente de su caminar. Kaoiri siempre estaba hiperactiva, no podía quedarse tanto tiempo sentada o en un mismo lugar. – qué hizo qué?...- preguntó tan fuerte que su secretaría la alcanzó a escuchar -voy para allá, por favor Sawada, traten que todo esté en orden, salgo enseguida.
- con esa actitud no llegarás lejos Hyuga!.- le gritaba Takahashi mientras por la boca le escurría algo de sangre y Sorimachi con bastante fuerza lo detenía
- Ken, suéltame!...voy a patear a ese estúpido!
- no lo haré….- Hyuga forcejeaba para intentarse zafar - cálmate quieres! – le reiteraba su amigo. Ken tenía cierta ventaja por sus conocimientos en artes marciales
Ambos estaban golpeados, aunque Kojiro pega más fuerte que Ían, no se salvó de un buen gancho al hígado que aquél le propició.
- ¿sólo con golpes crees que se arreglan las diferencias, yo pensaba que no, pero parece que es la única manera contigo, y solo no termino de partirte la cara por respeto a Eriko; "primero me la parte él, uy, que bueno que no lee mis pensamientos" se decía a sí mismo- …suéltame ya! – le gritaba a Sorimachi quien de inmediato hizo caso
- ah! Crees que me la podrías partir!… Ken, suél…tame…
- pero qué demonios pasa aquí! .- Era Eriko que había llegado al lugar después de recibir una llamada de que Ían se había vuelto a pelear; el Instituto no quedaba lejos.
Ían y Ken continuaban asesinándose por medio de los ojos y con el pensamiento pues los dos tenían los puños cerrados.
Kanzaki estaba molesta y aquellos no le habían tomado tanta importancia al hecho de que ella estuviera ahí, y por cierto, ella fue una vez más el conflicto entre ambos personajes al Ían reclamarle a Kojiro su presunta "relación" con Eriko, aspecto que al próximo jugador italiano no le vino en gracia ya que entre ellos solo hay una relación maestra-alumno, pero la insistencia de Takahashi provocó que Hyuga sacara más que nada el estrés y nerviosismo del próximo viaje.
A paso veloz Matsumoto llegó al lugar.
- Kanzaki, Hyuga, pero qué ha pasado?.- cuestionaba aún tranquilamente la manager.
- nada Srita. .- contestaba Ían
- sí, solo fueron roces por el juego, eso es todo… nos encendimos un poco, pero no pasó a mayores.- argumentaba Kojiro sin dejar de ver a Ían
- sí, cosas del fútbol… - Ían dejó de mirar a Hyuga y se dirigió con Matsumoto – Ían Takahashi, a sus órdenes.- éste hizo la reverencia y al levantarse le guiñó el ojo a Kaori quien al instante hizo una mirada de "y a éste qué le pasa".
– mucho gusto jovencito, espero que tengan un poco más de cuidado, ya están bastantes grandes para andarse arrastrando por el pasto.- acto seguido, ella volteaba a mirar la sudadera de Hyuga que ahora era verde con café-negro y un poco de sangre.
- me retiro, hasta luego. – Ían se marchaba, Eriko lo siguió después de disculparse con su nuevo alumno y preguntarle si tenía ánimos para tomar las clases ese día recibiendo una respuesta afirmativa de Kojiro.
Matsumoto vio alejarse a aquel par y luego invitó a los chicos a tomarse un vapor y una ducha al Club privado en donde Hyuga recién había hecho un promocional, esto con el fin de que se calmaran un poco. Kaori sabía que Kojiro de alguna manera empezaba a estar nervioso y estresado por la nueva experiencia que estaba a punto de formar en su vida, pero también sabía que él era un chico muy capaz; de todas maneras, los golpes eran también parte de su personalidad "sexy" según sus fans.
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Takahashi había ignorado a Kanzaki en los últimos 5 minutos de caminata – Ían…detente.. Ían….- aquel seguía ignorándola, no tenía ánimos de escuchar los sermones filosóficos de su amiga
- Ían Scott Takahashi detente por favor!.- el chico se detuvo en seco poniendo sus manos en su cintura y volteando para mirar a su amiga.
- ¿me puedes decir qué diablos fue lo que pasó?.- preguntaba bastante molesta la japonesa
Éste desvió la mirada y con voz nada elocuente le había respondido que solamente estaban jugando
- A-JÁ… desde cuando en un juego te habían sacado sangre de la boca, no inventes por favor- argumentaba ella con un tono de voz irónico y furioso -te pelaste con él cierto?.- preguntó después de que el chico había seguido con sus ojos cafés el andar de una chica colegiala
Éste, sin quitar el punto de fijación respondió claramente y en voz baja -iré a Italia.-
- ¿qué?
- iré a Italia, he dicho,..- de estar tranquilamente, los ánimos de Ían nuevamente se levaron -no pienso dejarte con ese sujeto tan violento, pobre de Luik, con qué clase de sujeto se enfrentará, también el viaje me servirá para advertirle.
- no conoces a Hyuga!.- interrumpió abruptamente ella
- tú tampoco!.- contestó enseguida en el mismo volumen que Kanzaki, -sólo porque lo has visto un par de veces ya dices que lo conoces?.-
- cuándo dejarás de creerte mi hermano mayor? No necesito alguien como tú que me espante a los hombres que recién conozco, ojalá Luik fuese el que estuviera aquí en vez de….-
Ella no pudo terminar la frase porque Takahashi había golpeado una pared y dejado los nudillos ahí
Enfadado y sin pensar mucho las cosas dijo: "Luik por aquí, Luik por allá…si tanto lo quieres deberías irte también a Italia, es más, ¿por qué no te quedas allá un tiempo con él? Sirve de que estás más a su cuidado y pendiente de que no le pase nada".-
Un silencio de pronto llegó entre ambos amigos, Eriko respiró tranquilamente una vez más e indagó - ¿qué es lo que te pasa para que tengas ésta actitud?
- no me pasa nada grave.- fueron las últimas palabras de Ían antes de seguir su camino.-
Continuará…
Nota: aún no sé que significa Eriko u.u pero bueno, el significado del nombre es lo de menos por el momento.
Me emocioné con este capítulo, así que tuve que cortar un poco, al menos ya tengo el material para el que le sigue, o quizá porque espacié un poco más? O.o
Mitzuko Chan, no conozco al monje que dices, pero si se parece, fue toda una coincidencia, de verdad. Y referente a "our relation y el enigma de ¿qué pasa que no se actualiza?" pues la socia con la que lo escribo anda con sus estudios, la intentaré presionar para que ya lo termine y es que las dos escribimos el capítulo para darle cierto "toque". También ya me preguntaron por otros lados y personalmente, es con el fic que más rió al escribir xD.
Gracias por sus lecturas.
6. Chapter 6
**Capítulo 6**
By Vini Astrea
- ¿oye, qué es lo que le pasa a ese sujeto?.- preguntaba Sorimachi mientras se quitaba la camisa para entrar al vapor
- sólo porque Eriko y yo nos tuteamos rápidamente, aquél tipejo se enojo, piensa que tenemos algo más que amistad.- hablaba aún enojado Hyuga mientras también se quitaba la playera.
- bueno, no olvides que no es fácil tutearse unos con otros.- acotó el joven Sawada refiriéndose a la cultura nipona
Enseguida, ya todos estaban sentados en el vapor con solo las toallas en la cintura, no sin antes ser admirados por varias chicas en pleno pasillo mixto antes de entrar al vapor. Ken indagó a Kojiro si tenía algo Takahashi con su profesora.
- no, ella me comentó que son como hermanos y él se comporta como el hermano mayor que analiza a los presuntos prospectos de ella…
Por un rato solo se enfocaron a hablar del fútbol, así como haciendo recuento de hazañas anteriores, divertidos y cardiacos momentos
Kojiro regresó a la tranquilidad y entuciasta les contó de las clases de italiano que llevaba con Eriko Kanzaki, de aquellas clases que tomaría estando en Italia, de la conferencia de prensa y el comunicado que tendría que dar él para que Eriko lo tradujera, las inmensas ganas de destacar en el fútbol italiano. Lo dispuesto que estaba para crecer profesionalmente y poder llegar a la copa del mundo.
- es una experiencia increíble, salir de tu país para darte a conocer en otros!.-
- sé dice que Italia tiene una excelente defensa.-
- pero yo soy un gran goleador y les demostraré la capacidad que puedo tener, ellos sabrán quien es el gran Kojiro Hyuga!.- hablaba eufóricamente el jugador nipon mientras se preparaban para salir del club a donde habían ido no sin antes repartir unos cuantos autógrafos.
Italia.
Luik después de hablar con Eriko había vuelto a salir para una vez más reunirse con Aoi y Gino y aprovechar los últimos días de descanso que todos tenían en sus respectivas actividades.
- bien, y entonces cuando llega el gran tigre?.- preguntaba curioso Shingo mientras se sentaban en una mesa para conversar.
- pronto, no te preocupes, podrás saludarlo.- contestaba el joven Nakata cuando de repente sintió un golpe en su espalda lo cual provocó que él volteara.
- ah, perdón, disculpe usted, fue sin querer.- decía un sujeto
Luik lo vio y al saber quien era, regresó la mirada a donde estaba situada anteriormente.
- Carlo, eres tú… te pido de favor que no molestes a Nakata.- decía Gino quien al parecer conocía a ese joven.
- yo? Molestarlo, pero si solo fue un accidente Fernández, a menos que él lo quiera resolver en la cancha, ya sabe dónde encontrarme.- enseguida éste pateo el pie de Nakata quien instintivamente se puso de pie para encararlo.
- Luik, desístelo, no vale la pena!.- discutía Shingo mientras intentaba separar a ese par.
Al joven estudiante de Luik le entraron en ese momento las ganas de partirle la cara a ese intento de futbolista llamado Carlo Riccardo.
- Nakata…el día que quieras te demuestro la razón por la cual no juegas fútbol; eres de lo peor Nakata!.- y con esto último, Carlo abandonó el susodicho lugar dejando a un Luik con la sangre hirviendo de coraje.
- tranquilo, déjalo y no le tomes importancia, ya sabes cómo es ese sujeto.- le sugería Gino.
Mientras sus amigos lo animaban de una manera para que se tranquilizara, en el interior Luik hacia lo contrario, se desanimaba al saber que no podía hacer una carrera futbolística.
- no te preocupes, solo porque él es un poco más alto y se cree lo mejor te reta de esa manera.- le decía Gino mientras comía uno de los bocadillos que habían traído a su mesa
- sí… se quedó traumado aquella vez que lo dejaste en ridículo pero…., jajaja, ya lo quiero ver que se te acerque cuando estés con Hyuga.- señalaba divertido el jugador número 20 japonés
- aunque no estaría mal que lo volvieras a dejar en ridículo.- sugería el arquero italiano
Luik hacía una mueca de desaprobación- no sé si pueda derrotarlo, uno nunca sabe si la "suerte" está de su lado.
Aoi se le acercó y mientras le palmeaba la espalda con una sonrisa le dijo que no inventara, que no dijera eso pues sabía él mismo que era muy bueno en el fut.
Y fue así que entre plática, ánimos, desanimos y demás, los chicos seguían en su canal, mientras tanto, en Japón Ían no pudo escaparse de su amiga Eriko quien logró detener el andar de él al aplicarle ella una llave de lucha (O.o)
- ya pues…., me rindo!.- decía éste mientras estaba en el suelo vencido
- já, te volví a ganar!.- gritaba Kanzaki mientras se ponía de pie y elevaba los brazos a manera de triunfo.
Ían se levantaba y se sacudía el polvo mientras que le decía que no era cierto, que él se había dejado caer a propósito para que ya lo dejara de molestar
- qué débil eres!.- decía esta mientras lo observaba con las manos en la cintura
- eso es mentira, si no nos hubieran separado hace rato hubiera "desconfigurado el rostro" al susodicho de Hyuga y te lo hubiera demostrado.- hablaba fanfarroneando mientras cerraba los puños y hacia unas fintas de boxeo
- mmm, en primera se dice "desfigurado" y en segunda, me tengo que ir a las clases de Hyuga, luego hablo contigo muy seriamente
Takahashi agachó la cabeza por un momento que no duró más de 10 segundos cuando vio pasar a una conocida suya – bueno, luego hablamos me voy….
Hyuga después de un rato de convivir con sus amigos, regresó a su apartamento para recibir las clases de Eriko, en el camino recordaba la plática que había tenido con ellos donde había salido al tema su querida amiga Maki, quien se encontraba en esos momentos de concentración pues pronto iría con la selección femenil nacional de softball a un torneo.
De repente, sus pensamientos fueron interrumpidos con el grito eufórico de Kanzaki
- Hyuga!.- alzaba ella la voz para que él no cerrara la puerta del edificio
- ah, Eriko, pensé que no ibas a venir.- comentaba tranquilamente el moreno
Kanzaki por unos segundos miraba al jugador a los ojos- quiero pedirte una disculpa por mi amigo.- enseguida se ponía firme y agachaba su torzo y cabeza a manera de disculpa.-, perdónalo!.-
Kojiro rápidamente colocó sus manos en los brazos de ella para ponerla nuevamente en firme su espalda.- tranquila, no tienes por qué tú hacer esas cosas
- pero, él es mi amigo, y estoy muy apenada contigo
- bueno, luego arreglamos esto y vayamos arriba que empieza a refrescar.- fue cuando él le abrió la puerta a ella y empezaron a subir las escaleras hasta llegar al tercer piso.
- vaya que tu amigo es…muy allegado a ti
- que pena, que pena de verdad, pero en cuanto nuevamente lo vea, hablo con él…. es que, piensa que tenemos…- ella no terminó sus pensamientos cuando ambos se sonrojaron.-
- este… mira, aquí está el discurso que quiero decir en Italia.- rompió él, el momento de sonrojos.-
- genial, veamos que pusiste…
_Yo, Hyuga Kojiro he venido entusiasta a jugar en la liga italiana de soccer, he de demostrar la razón por la cual se me contrató con hechos y no con palabras, obtendrán de mí los resultados esperados pues en la vida hay dos cosas que se tienen, razones o resultados, pero las razones no cuentan. Llego con el pensamiento de triunfo, de ánimo y les demostraré que puedo ser el mejor goleador!.-_
Kanzaki lo leyó atentamente, definitivamente esas eran palabras de Hyuga, y fue cuando habló:- mira Kojiro, te voy a recitar algo que pueda que te sirva, se titula "El éxito comienza con la voluntad…"
_Si piensas que estás vencido, lo estás;_
_Si piensas que no te atreverás, no lo harás;_
_Si piensas que te gustaría ganar, pero que no puedes,_
_Es casi seguro que no lo lograrás._
_Si piensas que vas a perder, ya has perdido,_
_Porque en el mundo encontrarás_
_Que el éxito empieza con la voluntad,_
_Todo está en tu estado de ánimo._
_Si piensas que estás adelante, lo estás;_
_Tienes que tirarle alto para elevarte,_
_Tienes que estar seguro de ti mismo,_
_Antes de ganar un premio._
_La batalla de la vida no siempre la gana_
_El hombre más fuerte o más ligero,_
_Porque, tarde o temprano, el hombre que gana _
_Es aquél que cree poder hacerlo._
_(Napoleón Hill)_
Un silencio se tornó y Kojiro caminó unos pasos hasta llegar al cuadro colgado que tenía en su sala donde aparecía su equipo ganador en la preparatoria.- Me extraña que me digas esto…yo nunca he desistido y siempre lucho por ganar y ser el mejor.-
- lo sé, pero… Italia, es otro país, es otro continente.
- te agradezco ese recital, vaya que te lo aprendiste, pero dime, qué te pareció lo que escribí.- y una vez más ambos jóvenes hablaban
Fue así que terminaron ese día.
Continuará…
Nota:
Uf, después de no actualizar, les pido disculpas, salí de viaje y no me di tiempo para hacerlo y luego andaba ocupada haciendo otras cosas, pero ya estoy por aquí nuevamente.
Feliz Año, que tengan ya sus propósitos y los busquen durante este tiempo para hacerlos realidad.
Les agradezco sus lectura y sus mensajes, procuraré no demorar para darle pronto final (que ya lo tengo en pre-producción).
7. Chapter 7
Capítulo 7
Alemania.
Eran las 12 pm, la tarde era cálida en el Hamburgo, era un día un tanto despejado, solo unas cuántas nubes pequeñas se podían ver a lo lejos. El equipo del arquero Wakabayashi se había desocupado más temprano de lo normal y aún cuando habían invitado al japonés a ir con los del equipo a un restaurante, éste prefirió quedarse en casa descansando, escuchando música _bossa nova, _esperando a una personita especial y haciendo unos sushis; alimento que hacía mucho no lo preparaba, al instante su teléfono timbró y acudió a contestar.
- Hola Genzo.
- Tsubasa, qué gusto saber de ti, ¿qué tal estás?.-
Hace algunos meses no se habían comunicado los chicos y era momento de actualizarse en noticias a nivel profesional (más que nada).
Antes de que el capitán de la selección nipona hablara por el auricular, Wakabayashi lograba escuchar a su amigo que estaba en la cocina, después de unos segundos contestó- muy bien, contento de emprender esta nueva etapa profesional y listo para jugar en la liga europea
- supe que estás en España.- hablaba el afamado arquero mientras ejercitaba sus manos.
A Tsubasa ya se le podía apreciar sosteniendo el teléfono entre la oreja y el hombro mientras intentaba hacer unas mezclas de leche y harina- así es, y me quedaré en el equipo.- contestaba el capitán entusiasta
- me da mucho gusto por ti, ¿cuándo te presentan oficialmente?
- pasado mañana recibo la casaca del barca y créeme, me siento nervioso, como si jugara por primera vez en el extranjero
- tranquilo amigo, es normal, aparte no tienes nada qué temer pues eres un excelente jugador, tú preocúpate por seguir creciendo profesionalmente para juntos jugar por la copa del mundo y llevar a Japón a cumplir ese gran sueño!.- afirmaba con una gran voz elocuente el chico de la gorra inseparable
- claro amigo, - contestaba éste eufórico mientras volteaba sus panes apunto de quemarse- gracias por tus palabras, de verdad.
Genzo estaba atento al ruido y sabía que su amigo estaba en la cocina-já, dime, qué tal te va en la cocina, de seguro agarraste algo caliente sin el guante correspondiente, ¡qué despistado!...- bufaba Wakabayashi mientras escuchaba cómo se le caían algunos platos a Tsubasa "rayos..".- se alcanzaba a escuchar, una palabra no tan usual del capitán Ozhora.
- Gen, tengo problemas, te hablo después, ¿vale?.-
Wakabayashi se despidió y siguió riendo mientras en ese momento aparecía en pantalla de TV a Kojiro Hyuga en noticia por su fichaje a Italia
- bien Hyuga, solo espero que tu orgullo no haga difícil tu estancia…
- _Hola!.- _se escuchó un grito por la puerta…
Regresando a Japón.
Ken, Sorimachi y Hyuga habían quedado a las 8pm en cenar en un restaurante no tan común, habían llegado a un lugar discreto para evadir el mayor momento posible a los medios de comunicación que estaban buscando a Hyuga
- jaja, así que ahora hasta tomas clases de canto, eh!.- se reía un poco Ken mientras veía la mirada de Kojiro quien estaba un tanto molesto.
- sí, le insistí que eso no me serviría, que yo juego fútbol y no canto y sabes lo que hizo?...
Ambos amigos se sonrieron ante la expresión de asombro de Hyuga mientras éste continuaba relatando -se puso a cantar en Italiano y me dijo, "repite lo que yo diga…" "- qué haga qué, pero si yo no canto Eriko.- narraba como si estuviera en el momento, con una expresión de ojos expresivos diciendo "ni loco lo hago".
Ella había sacado hábilmente un disco compacto y se preparaba para ponerlo mientras que decía que me hará bien escuchar y cantar música en italiano, así me familiarizas más pronto. Yo por mientras cruzaba de brazos y en un tono un tanto rudo le respondía que no lo iba ha hacer ya que no era cantante y no le gustaba cantar, pero ella no me prestó atención ya que estaba muy entretenida intentando descifrar cómo se usaba el equipo reproductor.
- un poco complicado.- me dijo- pero creo que ya pude.- hablaba ella mientras regresaba su mirada conmigo y me notó que estaba cruzado de brazos y con una expresión de molestia.
- "vaya vaya…así que el chico se está poniendo rudo eh?.-"
- ¿¿pero qué dices?.- fue el cuestionamiento que le hice y enseguida añadí que no era ningún chico rudo con voz molesta mientras que Eriko intentaba contener la risa, hasta que le pregunté disgustado – "¿¿de qué te rìes eh?"
y me respondió esto: "mira, con tus amigos o en el campo puedes desahogar toda tu furia y ser el chico rudo que siempre has sido, pero aquí…. Yo mando!"
- vaya que se revela la chica eh!.- hablaba Kazuki divertidamente
- espera, aún hay más…enseguida yo le dije: "pues tú eres la ruda eh, mira de que tú dándome órdenes…."
- Y no le bastó lo que me dijo hasta continuar divertidamente que ella era la maestra y tenía que seguir yo las instrucciones.
- jaja, así que te puso a cantar eh!
Kojiro se ruborizó un poco .- pues sí, no me quedó otra.
- y qué cantaste? _Volare…oooo cantare…oooo.- _seguía entre risa y risa Ken y Sorimachi.
De repente, unas cuantas personas que eran reporteros se dejaron venir a la mesa donde los 3 chicos se encontraban cenando tranquilamente.
"¿joven Hyuga, ya está preparado para su arribo a Italia?..." "¿su novia Maki seleccionada nacional del equipo femenil de softball ya está enterada?" "es cierto que mantiene una relación con su maestra de italiano?" "se rumora también que se peleó con el novio de su maestra" "¿qué comentario tiene del fútbol italiano?".
Varias preguntas al mismo tiempo habían lanzado los periodistas mientras que Kojiro no podía ni balbucear; cámaras de video, micrófonos, fotógrafos estaban presentes como nunca antes lo habían estado.
Ken y Kazuki se pusieron inmediatamente de escudo tratando de contener que los medios no se acercaran más a su amigo; por primera vez la prensa estaba tras Kojiro y al parecer más que nada por el espectáculo y la supuesta relación que mantenía con su profesora de italiano la cual era falsa.
Mientras tanto, Kanzaki daba los últimos momentos de su clase.
- bien, los posesivos masculinos plurales son; **Io, tu, lui, noi, voi, loro** y algunos adverbios de modo son: **bene, benone, male, cosí, almeno**.- hablaba la profesora a su grupo mientras señalaba la pizarra y enseguida estornudaba cuando llegó la secretaria a interrumpir su clase.
- disculpe profesora Kanzaki, afuera hay unos cuántos que preguntan por usted y quieren que vaya.
- ¿unos cuantos, ¿a mí, vaya que raro… bueno chicos, hagan el crucigrama que se encuentra al final del capítulo de tarea y los veo mañana.- Eriko salía del salón mientras pensaba "pero, ya me puse al corriente en la lavandería, en la tintorería, no le debo a Don Kiko…" inmediatamente recibía una llamada a su celular
- Kojiro, qué gusto escucharte… ¿pero qué dices?.- ella hablaba un tanto despreocupada mientras seguía caminando – ¿reporteros?...¿qué tú y yo somos pareja?.- en eso ella justamente llegaba a donde se encontraban varios periodistas quienes en seguida la abordaron - vaya, ahora sé a lo que te refieres…tranquilo grandulón ..,sé dar conferencia de prensa, te veo después, bye.
- señorita Kanzaki, ¿es cierto que usted es maestra del jugador de soccer Kojiro Hyuga?
- así es.- respondía ella con la tranquilidad suficiente
En seguida otro preguntón aprovechó el turno: "¿es cierto que llevan una relación personal a pesar de que él tiene a su novia en la selección femenil de softball japones?
- ¿¿qué qué? O sea, ¿¿quien inventó eso?.- preguntando con la voz un poco alzada cuando enseguida le realizaron otra pregunta. Eriko estaba sorprendida ante dichos cuestionamientos mientras que algunos alumnos del instituto asomaban sus cabezas para enterarse de "las nuevas" en torno de la profesora Kanzaki
- ¿y que usted viajará a Italia en donde allá se piensan casar?
- qué semejante tontería…, cielos santo… señores, solo les diré que efectivamente soy su profesora y que es rotundamente falso que llevemos una relación más allá del maestro-alumno; es absurdo eso de que seamos pareja y por favor, espero que no lo vuelvan a repetir más, con su permiso tengo que ir a dar clases.
Al instante llegaba la seguridad de la Institución y hacían que las personas abandonaran el lugar, Eriko llamó a Hyuga para decirle cómo le había ido, si bien perdió un poco los estribos, no se los manifestó al 9 de la selección.
Mientras tanto, en Alemania, una chica había llegado a casa del arquero, era delgada, de 1.70 de estatura, complexión delgada, pelo y ojos negros. Llevaba un maleta que aparentaba ser muy pequeña, pero por dentro era muy amplia. Su nombre es Akiko Wakabayashi, sus padres decidieron llamarla así por la actriz que estuvo de moda cuando ella había nacido.
continuará…
Nota: disculpen si les parecen cortos mis capítulos, aún no me acostumbro a hacerlos más extensos, pero con la práctica espero ir mejorando su extensión o al menos proponerme de q sean 4 hojas y no 3.
Gracias por seguir leyendo este fic.
Akiko Wakabayashi está en invención mía ya que Genzo tiene 2 hermanos hombres y una hermana. Esto con el fin de alcanzar una expectativa más, espero lograrlo.
Espero no demorarme más, he estado enferma -.-
saludos.
Vini Astrea
8. que enredo
Capítulo 8
"qué enredo!"
Las clases habían terminado en el colegio de Akiko y ella había decidido salir de Londres para tomar unas aventurezcas vacaciones de "mochilazo", lo cual no duró mucho pues le incomodó dormir en los trenes. Aún así logró llegar hasta Hamburgo Alemania para visitar a su hermano.
Su hermano llegó hasta ella para darle un gran abrazo- Akiko, qué gusto verte.-
Ella también lo abrazaba y cuando se separaron miró rápidamente de los pies hasta la cabeza -lo mismo digo Genzo, hace bastante tiempo que no nos veíamos, qué grande estás.
El arquero se sonrió, cruzó los brazos e hizo la misma revisión que su hermana le había hecho -- jajaja, bueno, tú no te quedas tan atrás, ahora tendré que cuidarte más eh!
Akiko se sonrió y le dio un golpe en el brazo a su hermano- jajaja, no seas payaso, por el momento sabes que mi prioridad es el atletismo y después los estudios, así que los chicos quedan un tanto fuera.
La pequeña hermana Wakabayashi se sentaba en el mini-bar que tenía de adorno su hermano, éste le siguió y se sentó a lado de ella.
Los bancos eran altos de madera fina y relucientes gracias al barniz, y combinaban con el café oscuro del mini-bar y es que cuando él ocupó donde vive, le gustó mucho esa parte del lugar, pero cabe destacar que es más adorno que en verdad un lugar para colocar botellas, aunque sí mantiene algunas como de vino tinto.
- vaya vaya, ¿desde cuando saliste tan estudiosa?.- cuestionaba éste mientras levantaba un cuadro donde había una fotografía del equipo infantil de soccer.
Akiko tomó una revista deportiva que él tenía a la vista y respondió: - desde que supe que te dedicarías al fútbol y que yo entonces tendría que estudiar para mantener la empresa de nuestros padres.
Genzo agarraspó (no sé si se diga así, pero es cuando haces un ruido con la garganta) se quedó un instante pensativo y continuó con la charla- pero… ¿no sería al revés, primero los estudios y luego el atletismo?
- eso suena lógico, pero por si no sabes, tienes una hermana bastante inteligente…cielos, a ti te vendría bien juntarte conmigo, haber si algo se te pega.- se burlaba la chica mientras le bajaba la gorra a su hermano hasta los ojos
- JA- JA-JA, chistosita.- al instante éste la levantaba y se la reacomodaba.
En seguida, por la TV salió uno de los tantos anuncios de publicidad del momento.
- ey, ¿que ese no es Kojiro Hyuga, tu compañero de selección?.- indagaba con emoción la chica dejando a su hermano sorprendió por la manera en cuestionar y si acción de acercarse a la TV.
- sí, ¿por?
- vaya que se ha vuelto muy famoso y muy atractivo…mira esos músculos, esos pectorales
- tranquila hermanita, no te emociones tanto
- esas piernas…deberías presentármelo.- decía ella con la naturalidad que le caracterizaba.
Wakabayashi casi se va de espaldas- ¿que què? ¿Quieres que te lo presente, ¿lo dices en serio o me estás vacilando?
- oye! Yo digo las cosas en serio, me gustaría conocerlo, ¿cuándo me lo presentas?.- definitivamente Akiko estaba hablando en serio
- no es tan sencillo.- respondía él mientras se sentaba en el brazo del sillón negro
- vamos Gen, hasta ahorita para ti nada ha sido imposible.- insistía ella
- lo que sucede es que… pues él ahora está en Japón y pronto en Italia .-
Genzo trataba que su hermana dejara de insistir mientras que ella miraba algunos recortes de periódico que él había enmarcado de sus actuaciones con su selección nacional.
- ajá, ¿y?.- con esta respuesta obviamente no lo había conseguido.
- qué quieres que haga, que viajemos y al llegar le diga "Hyuga, es mi hermana menor Akiko, te la presento…".- hablaba con una voz un tanto irónica
- ah, es cierto, ahora estará en el fútbol italiano…-
- ese tono hace que sospeche que tienes alguna idea.-
Akiko se desentendía y cambiaba de tema - gracias hermanito, y dime… ¿qué harás en vacaciones?.-
- ¿en mis vacaciones?.- balbuceaba un poco
- claro! En tus vacaciones... ¿o qué?…¿crees que no estoy enterada del Club,
- ¿eh?.- Genzo intentaba disimular
- sé que tienes unos días de vacaciones y perfectamente me podrás acompañar a Italia
- pero yo no quiero ir a Italia.- respondía éste con cierta expresión en el rostro que indicaba que de verdad no quería ir.
Ella se puso enfrente de él y con seguridad y decisión agregó- lo siento hermanito, tendrás que acompañarme y pagarme uno de los tantos favores que no me debes,...sirve que de paso lo saludas
- ¿y yo por que habría querer saludarlo?.- la verdad, es que Genzo era muy sincero, no había mucho motivo pero quizá unos días en Italia le vendrían bien.
- Gen, no seas mal compañero y ve a felicitarlo por su fichaje y ya no te hagas del rogar que sino le digo a papá que te fuiste por ahí de vago.-
- está bien, está bien…., será una visita rápida, ok!.- Genzo recibía el abrazo de su hermana después de decirle "sí" mientras en sus pensamientos estaban: "hyuga se sorprenderá"
- genial, voy a ir apartando los boletos de avión, aunque me gustaría irme en tren…..- sugería ella mientras abría el directorio de servicios
- sí, vamonos en tren.- asentaba Genzo a la sugerencia de su hermana Akiko, aunque ella al instante cambió de opinión.
- no, qué incomodo, mejor en avión
- ¡oh pues!.- exclamaba divertido Genzo -No querías aventura, mochilazo y dormir y acampar y todo eso?.- se reía discretamente al saber que su hermana aún no se acostumbraba a estar sin lujos, pero al menos lo intentaba.
- sí, pero es muy incómodo, eso lo haré después aparte…"y soy rebelde cuando no pienso igual que ayer" (1)
Wakabayashi se ponía de pie para seguir a su hermana que estaba ya en la cocina- oye Akiko… ¿de verdad crees que me voy a comer el cuento de que quieres ir a conocer a Hyuga?.- preguntaba amigablemente.
Ella se quedó en silencio mientras tomaba su vaso con figuras de vacas para servirse un poco de jugo de manzana, era el único vaso de ese tipo que Gen guardaba; todos los que llegaban a su casa querían tomar en ese vaso ya que estaba demasiado gracioso - mmm, ¿por qué dicho cuestionamiento tan repentino y directo?
Ahora fue el turno de Wakabayashi quien tomó su tazón en forma de balón de soccer para servirse ahí sus sushis y bañarlos en sala de soya (ay, se me antojó o) - sé que tienes una personita especial que vive en Italia, aunque también sé que discutiste con él y de un tiempo para acá resulta que ha sido tu afán de conocer a Hyuga cuando antes te caía mal
- oye, hay coincidencias, todo puede pasar, aparte, aquello ya lo superé y tu comentario está fuera de línea en estos momentos.- hablaba molesta después de escuchar eso que su hermano futbolista pensaba.
- uy, pero no te enojes hermanita.-
- Genzo! Por qué me pegas!- exclamaba rudamente la chica atleta
- já, no te pegué, solo te jalé la oreja.- reía aquel mientras salí de la cocina con su tazón
Ésta dejó su vaso para seguirlo a él quien ya dejaba su tazón en la barra y corría - golpeador de menores, me las vas a pagar!
- jajajaja
- ven acá, no huyas cobarde!
Mientras tanto en Italia
Luik descansaba en su dormitorio, escuchando aquellos cd´s que no tenían título en la carátula y redescubriendo de que artista se trataba.
- Este compacto… acaso será….- Nakata lo miro con cierta nostalgia, lo puso en su reproductor. La guitarra empezó a tocar, éste se sentó por un momento
_Tal vez podamos confundirnos_
_equivocarnos, perder la razón_
_caer al fondo de un abismo_
_y terminar por decirnos adiós_
su corazón inmediatamente estremeció mientras que sus pensamientos se teletransportaban
_Dime si no has hecho locuras_
_que no son tales si se hacen por amor_
_piensa que a estas alturas_
_que más nos da arriesgar el corazón_
miró la fotografía que se tomó ese verano con sus amigos inseparables desde la infancia y uno que otro extra.
_Si es por ti_
_olvidaría todo lo vivido_
_Si es por ti_
_me dejaría en manos del destino_
_Si es por ti_
_caminaría a tientas_
_me lanzaría a ciegas_
_Si es por ti_
Nakata cabizbajo recordaba dos años atrás cuando se encontraba en Japón, la imaginación volaba en este instante y todo su alma se teletransportaba.
_Y si una noche no amanece_
_y si al final tenían razón_
_al decir que el amor se desvanece_
_tampoco habrá por qué pedir perdón_
_Si es por ti_
_olvidaría todo lo vivido_
_Si es por ti_
_me dejaría en manos del destino_
_Si es por ti_
_caminaría a tientas_
_me lanzaría a ciegas_
_Si es por ti (2)_
Al término de dichas estrofas, Luik la detuvo, abrió los ojos atractivos que tenía y sacó del reproductor y guardó su compacto en su respectiva cajita sin carátula. – Vaya, estos recuerdos siguen presentes, no es fácil olvidar en el tiempo.
El sonido del teléfono lo terminó de sacar de sus pensamientos.
_- Luik, qué tal viejo, ¿estás ahí!.- Era Ían quien saludaba enérgicamente_
- mmm, claro, si no, no te hubiera contestado,
_- ¿que tal si hubiera sido la contestadora?.-_
- vaya, por primera vez acertaste, está bien, te perdono.- hablaba entre risas el joven estudiante -¿cómo te va, qué gusto.-
_- oye oye, hablas como si no me comunicara contigo seguidamente.- exclamaba aquel chico del pelo alborotado mientras rayaba con un lápiz la primera hoja que se encontraba._
Luik seguía con el teléfono mientras buscaba la diadema inalámbrica para seguir con su dormitorio- no lo tomes como reclamo, pero, de hecho me hablas una vez cada tres meses, dos a lo mucho, así que…
_- bueno bueno, pero dí que te hablo.- respondía amigablemente su gran amigo._
- ja, está bien, ¿qué pasa contigo?
_- pues, aquí solo para confirmarte que sí iré._
Nakata se quedó un poco pensativo antes de seguir la charla - uy, aún tienes esa idea.
_Takahashi se levantó del asiento para buscar algo de alimento en su refrigerador- sí, y ahora más que terminamos peleados_
Enseguida Luik no se dejó esperar cuando soltó la carcajada- vaya vaya, así que el gran Kojiro te hizo puré!.- afirmaba entre risa y risa el chico que ya se había puesto la diadema inalámbrica.
Takahashi sentido y herido por la risa de su amigo se dispuso a dejar a un lado su dieta y prepararse la pizza familiar en vez de la individual, así combatiría la "depresión" por la cual en ese momento pasaba _- …. Que chistosito, claro que no!… ._- exclamaba mientras quitaba la envoltura a su pizza -por suerte llegaron a tiempo a rescatarme.- dichas últimas palabras las dijo con temor al pensar que quizá Kojiro si lo hubiera hecho puré
- jajajaja, eso está bien, aún hay Ían Takahashi para rato.-
Las fanfarronerías no se podían quedar a tras para _Ían -pero créeme, si no se hubieran metido a separarnos… el tipo se queda sin melena!.-_
Luik intentó contener la risa para hablar sarcástica e irónicamente- ajá, y qué más…
_- es cierto! Le hubiera roto la cara al tipo.- Takahashi apretaba el vaso de plástico al cerrar su puño._
- ¿así como Eriko lo ha llegado a hacer contigo?.- preguntó maliciosamente
_- oye, ahora sí que me has dado en mis débiles.-_ le reclamó aquel mientras se limpiaba la mano y el derrame. Takahashi por no lavar usaba platos desechables.
- jajaja, bueno, entonces ¿ya saben cuándo llegan?.- Luik intentaba retomar la conversación original, pero nuevamente ésta se desvirtuaría.
_- mmm, no; yo creo que por mi parte estaré días antes para evitar que me haga escándalo Eriko, pero yo te estaré avisando, sirve de que vamos a visitar a las amiguitas de la esquina jojojo, nos llevamos al Aoi, dile que no sea cobarde._
- jaja, ya no alucines y entiende que ya no son las mismas meseras de la última vez que viniste, por tu culpa ahora la dueña contrata a meseros varones y Shingo ahora está más emocionado con su nuevo fichaje que con las meseras.
Ían y Luik tontearon un rato más de la insistencia del primero por ir a la esquina e investigar ahora donde trabajaba la morena que hace tiempo le dio su número de seguridad social, el segundo le recordó que aún andaba el grupo de italianos con quienes se agarraron hace tiempo a golpes. – habrá que tener cuidado.- exclamaba Nakata
-----
- Srita. Matsumoto, no sé porque la prensa ha dicho todo eso.- Kojiro hablaba por su celular mientras se dirigía a la casa de Ken a paso veloz para evadir a la prensa.
- tranquilo Hyuga, así son los medios del espectáculo, deberás aprender a vivir con ellos.- decía su Manager tranquilamente mientras firmaba unos documentos de publicidad.
En eso, la secretaría de Matsumoto entro para avisarle de la última cita que tenía. – Hyuga, tengo que dejarte, tú tranquilo, te veo después…
Kojiro terminó de colgar y junto con Kazuki y Ken caminaban por unas oscuras calles, pero no tardaron mucho en ser descubiertos por la molesta prensa, así que tuvieron que correr por una estrecha calle para enseguida tomar un taxi.
- a dónde los llevo? Preguntaba el viejo taxista
- a la Cd. De Nankatsu!.- decía desesperado Kojiro
continuará….
Nota: Q loco, espero sea de su agrado.
(1) interpreta RBD "Rebelde"
(2) interpreta El sueño de Morfeo y Alex Ubago "si es por ti"
9. vámonos
Capítulo 9
El taxista se sorprendió pero aún así cumplía órdenes y aún más cuando reconoció a las personas que llevaba abordo.
- _pero si son los jugadores de "fúbol" colegial más reconocidos… - _pensó el individuo.
- ey, cómo que a Nankatsu.- exclamaba Ken a quien la piel se le había erizado momentáneamente.
Un breve silencio se tornó en el auto, solo se podía escuchar el cambio de velocidades de éste.
- está bien en que queramos huir, pero tampoco se trata de irnos a otra ciudad tan repentinamente.- acotaba Kazuki mientras aún tenía la expresión de sorpresa en su rostro.
Kojiro estaba desconcertado, el estar en el lente y en la atención de los medios de comunicación le ponían un poco nervioso -eh!...bueno, eso es cierto; es que, me ganaron los nervios… Sorimachi le dio la dirección del apartamento donde vivía Hyuga al taxista.
Eriko llegaba a su piso quitándose un zapato y luego el otro para descansar sus pies y la travesía que habían sufrido al ésta caminar aprisa.
- puf, tremendo escándalo se está armando, espero no se salga de control.- mientras sacaba de su bolso las llaves para ingresar, escuchaba a su vecino predilecto cantar. –y ahora a ese Ían qué le pico?
Kanzaki subió las escaleras y tocando levemente abrió la puerta de Takahashi
Aquel no lo había escuchado llegar y seguía con su intento de canto en versión italiana. Pronto se le fue la inspiración cuando escuchó una carcajada
- y ahora tú!...andas muy feliz… a qué se deberá?.- preguntaba pícaramente la chica.
Ían le hecho ojos de fuego ante dicho comentario – o sea, no es lo que tú piensas eh! _Aunque no me vendría mal una…_
- bueno, dime que te tiene tan contento.- cuestionaba ella curiosa
- saldré de viaje, volaré por los cielos, caminaré por la tierra.- respondía mientras de su recámara sacaba una maleta.
A Takahashi no se le daba mentir, pero en esta ocasión estaba disimulando bastante bien.
Eriko caminaba por el cuarto mirando por todo el lugar, un calendario de chicas en bikini, algunas medallas colgadas, fotos de amigos…
- ¿¿ah sí? ¿¿Y a dónde si se puede saber?
Ían abrió los ojos y rápido puso a pensarse, enseguida respondía la mentira de que iría a México a firmar unos papeles que su hermana Nikki le había pedido (1). A Kanzaki le pareció extraño y volvió a cuestionarle de cuál era la razón por la que ésta vez no se los mandaba como solía hacerlo.
- yo le dije que iría, hace tiempo no la veo y me pareció buena excusa
- ¿y cuándo te vas entonces?
- mañana por la noche.- respondía éste mientras guardaba unos cuantos pares de calcetines.
Aún le parecía un poco extraño tan repentino viaje, pero tratándose de los negocios de ellos, todo era posible - sí que es urgente.-
- mientras más rápido me vaya, menos veré a "tú" Hyuga.- molestó Ían cuando terminaba de cerrar su maleta.
- ah, ya vas a empezar con eso…- la chica medio enfadada y cansada de la misma situación le aventó una almohada
Después de ser despeinado y volverse a peinar con la mano el chico habló - ya pues…, dime tú, ¿cómo estas, por lo que veo enérgica o te hace también falta…
- no digas tonterías….hace rato me abordó la prensa, uf, si que son pesadas.
Eriko le contó la travesía que había tenido que pasar y el mal entendido que se empezaba a generar con Kojiro, en donde hasta la fecha era todo falso.
- seguro que es falso y no tienes una aventura con el gran seleccionado japonés que viste el jersey con el número nueve?
- necio! Que no! Por qué ese afán de pensar que tenemos un romance cuando solo somos maestra y alumno, nada más.
- quizá porque el tigre últimamente se le ha visto una pequeña sonrisa que se expande cuando está contigo?...oye, y si le gustas?.- preguntó burlón su amigo a lo que enseguida molestando Kanzaki repreguntó: - celoso?
- yooo? Para nada, no inventes, ni de chiste, ni alcazo eh!
Por su parte, Kojiro había logrado llegar a su recámara para tumbarse, él podría ser muy poderoso en el fútbol, pero con la fama que se estaba creando simplemente no sabía cómo controlarla, los medios eran bastante curiosos y si no les das la entrevista enseguida inventan chismes que ponen en la lupa a más de uno.
- a estas alturas Maki ya debió enterarse y no me dirigirá la palabra.
Por un momento caviló lo que nadie hubiera pensado, hacerle una llamada a Wakabayashi o a Ozhora, o quizá al propio Aoi aunque éste último podría ayudarle más en su estancia y adaptación en Italia pero terminó recibiendo la llamada de Kaori Matsumoto para informarle que el viaje se había adelantado para mañana por la noche.
- he hablado con la gente del club y quieren hacerte minuciosos exámenes, así que haz tu maleta.
- bien, pero… y Kanzaki?
- no te preocupes, en un momento me he de comunicar con ella para decirle esto y que será nuestra interprete por poco tiempo mientras te acoplas allá ya que tu guía para los próximos meses será un chico japonés que estudia allá.
- bien
- a las 9 pm pasará una limusina por ti para ir después por Kanzaki y llevarlos al aeropuerto, lo más probable es que estén los reporteros listos, tú tranquilo.
- ok, buenas noches y gracias.
Hyuga salió apresuradamente de su casa para ir a despedirse de su familia después de hacer unas cuantas llamadas por teléfono a su vez que Eriko era informada del nuevo plan a seguir y agendaba sus pendientes a realizar por la mañana, lo que llevaría de ropa, utensilios personales, checaba pasaporte, las cuentas por pagar en adelantado, atrasadas, al corriente.
Estaba a punto de llamar a su amigo Luik cuando mejor decidió darle la grata sorpresa al llamarle ya estando allá. Terminó cuanto pudo algunos preparativos para enseguida acostarse a dormir, pero el sueño fue escaso; los nervios estaban presentes.
Kojiro abrazaba a su madre – estaré bien, no te preocupes, en cuanto llegue allá les llamo por teléfono, si algo se les ofrece, no duden en buscarme, me hablan a través de la oficina de la señorita Matsumoto mientras consigo un lugar donde vivir o les doy algún teléfono.
- cuídate mucho hijo.- musitaba su mamá mientras le daba el último abrazo.
- y ustedes chicos, procuren no causar muchos problemas a mamá, ¿de acuerdo?
- sí hermano!.- contestaban los pequeños Hyuga´s
- anotas muchos goleeees! .- gritaba el más pequeño cuando veía que cada metro que avanzaba su hermano, éste iba despidiéndose.
Y con una última sonrisa, Kojiro se fue retirando más y más de su familia, poco a poco sus sueños se iban completando, había logrado él como jugador ir creciendo y apoyar a su familia por la cual desde pequeño había luchado bastante. No había sido nada sencillo, pero la meta era esa; consolidarse como jugador y ayudar a su familia.
Mientras tanto, en el pensamiento de Hyuga se venía el rostro de su padre, aquel hombre que le enseñó la frase de Giovanni Giacomo _Casanova "Un hombre que se decide a hacer algo sin pensar en otra cosa, supera todos los obstáculos"_. En su momento como niño no había podido entender lo suficiente, pero ahora de adulto comprendía que en cada momento se enfrentaría con obstáculos, pero mientras estuviera con valor, fuerza, coraje, constancia, empeño…superaría los retos; no sería fácil mas no imposible.
La liga italiana era su próximo objetivo, y como meta estaría la de ser el mejor goleador y vencer a la grandísima defensa que caracteriza a ese país. También un poco de incertidumbre, miedo e inseguridad le llegaban, el fútbol japonés apenas empezaba el ascenso y aunque ya a nivel internacional estuvieran colocados Genzo Wakabayashi, Tsubasa Ozhora, Shingo Aoi, eso no era suficiente para ya aceptar a los jugadores japoneses en alguna liga extranjera.
- será una dura batalla que tendré que afrontar, pero como dijo Alfred Withehead "los sueños de un soñador nunca se cumplen…siempre se superan" .- decía esto mientras cerraba el puño con gran fuerza.
Hyuga llegó a su piso e hizo unas cuántas llamadas más para despedirse de sus amigos y dormirse. Francamente no había pensado en cómo sería la despedida que le hicieran cuando se fuera de Japón, pero esta vez el viaje se adelantó y así sucedió; por teléfono.
En Alemania, Akiko apresuraba a Genzo para que investigara qué día llegaría Kojiro a Italia e hiciera maletas para irse lo antes posible.
(1)Nikki Takahashi, personaje creado por Vini Astrea.
nota: ahora comparto mis ratos libres en escritura que no es fic, intento de composición musical (pero no sé nada, solo pq me compré una guitarra eléctrica le toco, escribo y demás) trabajo y estudios en mi área y vagancia. Pero no he olvidado esto y prometo apresurarme para terminarlo.
gracias a quien me lee.
hasta pronto.
10. Chapter 10
Capítulo 10
Genzo hizo algunas llamadas con contactos confiables quienes le habían confirmado del adelanto de su compañero a la liga italiana.
- ¿entonces está confirmadísimo?...- su hermana Akiko estaba sentada en la silla alta y dejaba mecer sus piernas a su vez que se encontraba atenta a cada expresión y gesticulación de su hermano. – pues muchas gracias por el dato, hasta luego.-
La pequeña Wakabayashi intento disimular su ansiedad- ¿qué te dijo?
- pues que Hyuga sale mañana por la noche y…
Akiko no dejó que su hermano terminara de hablar, dio un brinco de la silla al suelo y enseguida jaló de la gorra a Genzo para llevarlo directo a su cuarto.
- tranquila! ¿Qué te pasa, ¿cuál es la prisa?
- mientras más rápido mejor, qué tal que luego te echas para atrás y ni me acompañas obligándome a que yo me vaya sola…-Akiko empezaba a hablar dramáticamente – y luego que me roban a mi, yo solita en el aeropuerto sin saber a dónde ir y …
- ya, calmada, sabes que te voy a acompañar y para que veas que soy buen hermano, te cumpliré tu caprichito, empaco y nos vamos de una vez; reza por que haya boletos.
- gracias hermanito! Eres lo máximo! .- se colgaba la chica del cuello del arquero con tal efusividad que hasta tumbó la inseparable pareja de Genzo; la gorra.
En España, Tsubasa había ya visitado las instalaciones del Barca e incluso enfrentado a 3 jugadores defensivos que le dieron una "cálida" bienvenida.
La prensa nipona estaba a la expectativa de la contratación y presentación del capitán de la selección japonesa así como otra parte de la prensa estaba atenta al fichaje de su compatriota el número 9 japonés.
El tan anhelado día para el nuevo jugador del Juventus llegaba cada vez más, la rutina del día fue tranquila, por la mañana corrió unos cuantos kilómetros para luego ir una vez más al baño de vapor en donde las fans lo esperaban, comió con sus amigos cercanos y se fue al apartamento para cerrar maletas y esperar la limusina que lo llevaría al aeropuerto.
Por su parte, Eriko terminó sus pendientes, papeleos y demás. Invitó a su amigo Ían a comer (aunque a él le tocaba pagar), charlaron un rato hasta que Kanzaki le habló de su viaje.
- bueno, pues te tengo una novedad.
- ah sí, ¿cuál?...no me digas que tú y Kojiro…
Eriko hizo una mueca de desagradado y abruptamente le amenazó con lanzarle el agua- ¿¿qué te pasa? Ya te dije que nada pasa y nada pasará!
-na, eso dices, pero seguro que tarde que temprano caes.
- si serás necio! Sigue así y no te cuento.
- está bien, disculpa…pero solo te digo una cosa
- ¿acaso no tienes confianza en mi?
- yo en ti sí, en él no tanto y en la "carne y deseo" menos
- bájale, ¿desde cuando te convertiste en moralista!
- jajaja, no se trata de eso, solo que yo he vivido un poquitin más que tú, aparte soy hombre y tú eres un bombón.
- ay, aguas con el maduro… en fin, gracias por el consejo, pero es mi vida y tú no eres nadie para meterte en ella, yo sabré qué hacer.- el comentario había sido bastante duro y de una sonrisa que mantenía el chico, terminó en un rostro de seriedad al escuchar esas palabras de su amiga.
La conocía y lo que menos quería con ella era estar disgustados pero Kanzaki se había enfadado de tal manera que solo le dijo que esa noche viajaba a Italia. - suerte en tu viaje!.- y sin más que decir se marchó.
La música jazzista en el fondo seguía sonando - mierda!.- Ían recordó que si ella y él viajaban hacia el mismo destino, iban a tomar el mismo vuelo y sabía perfectamente que si se encontraban mutuamente, Eriko definitivamente dejaría de hablarle por haberle dicho la mentira de que iría con su hermana Nikki.
De inmediato habló a Nakata para comentarle.
- qué raro, no me ha llamado Eriko..- decía Luik mientras navegaba buscando en las noticias lo relacionado a Hyuga.
- quizá quiere caerte de sorpresa, ya vez como es…
Luik se despegó un poco el auricular - ok, pero no me hables tan golpeado o será que… ¿algo paso entre Eri y tú?...o ¿incluso con Hyuga?
- no, nada, es que tengo hambre y no me han traído de comer, por eso estoy molesto y aparte no sé que hacer ….- mentía Ían para no preocupar a su amigo.
- ¿tan fácil se te cierra el mundo, habla a la agencia y que te cambien el vuelo a clase turista.
- TURISTA! No gracias.
- entonces atente a las consecuencias..- conversaba divertido
- mmm, tienes razón, cambiaré mejor el pasaje a clase turista y me disfrazaré un poco para que no me reconozca.
- con que te peines ya es algo, jajajaj.
Las horas restantes habían transcurrido. Eriko y Kojiro ya se encontraban en la limusina en dirección al aeropuerto.
- y dime, ¿cómo te sientes?
Hyuga estaba distraído mirando por la ventanilla y despidiéndose de su barrio
– ¿eh?.- preguntaba él.
- ya, con eso me das a entender que no estés tan concentrado, o estás nervioso o pasa algo.
- ah, estoy bien, ansioso por llegar al Juventus.
- es un gran paso el que darás, ¿no estás si quiera un poco nervioso?
- no, para nada, me tengo confianza en que haré un buen papel.
- me alegra oírte decir eso, yo sé poco o casi nada del soccer, pero en estos días me puse a leer algo y dicen que Italia tiene la mejor defensa.
- lo sé, pero yo seré quien los derrote..- hablaba orgullos el número 9.
-Bueno chicos, hemos llegado y al parecer hay muchos reporteros, así que procuren no separarse, yo me encargaré de la prensa.- hablaba Matsumoto mientras la limusina se detenía.
Por los vidrios polarizados ya e podía ver los flashes de las cámaras que aguardaban el arribo del nuevo jugador japonés en ligas extranjeras. Primero salió Eriko y enseguida Kojiro. Las preguntas tanto del mundo del deporte como de espectáculos ya se hacían presentes y Kaori intentaba darle salida a tanto cuestionamiento. Mientras, ambos caminaban hacia el interior del Narita.
Por el extremo opuesto ya estaba Takahashi con una gorra y un bigote postizo acompañado de unos lentes oscuros los cuales momentos después, mientras éste espiaba a sus compatriotas, su aspecto daba motivo para que las autoridades del aeropuerto sospecharan de él y lo arrestaran hasta; momenos después confirmarían que de verdad era Ían Scott Takahashi, pero ya había perdido el vuelo, aquél donde Kanzaki y Hyuga habían abordado en primera clase.
- hay que dormir que se viene el cambio de horario.- sugería amablemente Hyuga con una sonrisa.
- sí, lo haré…dime, esa chica con quien hablaste en el aeropuerto, ¿era…?
- una amiga, su nombre es Akamine Maki.
El chico le habló de que ella era jugadora de softball.
- la conocí en Okinawa cuando fui a visitar a mi entrenador Kira Kozo.
- fue aquella vez que el entrenador Gamo los expulsó?
- así es. Entonces decidí en mejorar y me fui ahí a entrenar. Una tarde me puse a realizar disparos contra la valla de la cancha y llego Maki regañándome de que no era una cancha de fútbol, como castigo me aventó un guante de "catcher" para que yo detuviera sus lanzamientos y de pronto, en su llamada "bola vertical" descubrí lo que vendría siendo mi "raiyu shoot", me fui a la montaña y no descansé hasta perfeccionarlo, pero eso me costó no poder cumplir la promesa de irla a ver en su partido.
- vaya, ya veo. Pero tú y ella…
- ella y yo que?
- este… tienen algún tipo de relación, noviazgo, unión libre?
El delantero sonrió mientras que ella se sonrojaba por tanta pregunta tan directa.
- somos amigos.
- ah, vaya, este…creo que mejor me duermo, buenas noches.
Las horas transcurrieron y por fin llegaron a la tierra de la pasta. El capitán del vuelo indicó que se abrocharan los cinturones para hacer el aterrizaje.
Minutos después ya estaban en el autobús que los llevaría hasta la central del aeropuerto. Eriko aprovechaba para explicar el significado de la señalética italiana que había en cada lugar a donde volteaban, Kojiro intentaba aprender y memorizar.
Por fin llegaron a la sala donde habría que pasar la aduana italiana, de pronto un extraño sujeto se le acercó a Hyuga.
- con que tú eres ese japonés..- habló con un tono demasiado prepotente y discriminativo lo que hizo que el jugador instantáneamente se pusiera a la defensiva.
- sí, ¿algún problema con eso?.
- será mejor que te regreses a tu país, así lograrías evitarnos la enseñanza a una basura como tú!-
- qué dijiste!
- lo que oíste!.- y con esto último, el extraño sujeto de nacionalidad desconocida pero que sabía japonés le dio un cabezazo al pecho del nipón ocasionándole la caída inmediata y un revuelo en el lugar.
Continuará…
Nota:
Jeje, no es Zidane, pero desafortunadamente se puso de moda esa escena y pues aún existe lo "antideportivo"
End file.
| fanfiction |
a healthy 40-year - old woman visited our clinic with complaints of ocular discomfort in both eyes .
six months prior to this presentation , she had undergone a bilateral regional conjunctivectomy to treat a chronic hyperemic conjunctiva . following this procedure ,
she was started on a regimen of 0.2 mg / ml ( 0.02% ) mmc eye drops four times daily for 5 days .
the patient 's best - corrected visual acuity was 20 / 25 in both eyes . based on the results from the slit - lamp examination ,
the conjunctiva and tenon 's capsule on the nasal and lateral bulbar area were excised .
slit - lamp examination also revealed marked scleral thinning and a bluish hue due to seeing the underlying choroid layer which measured 8 4 mm in the temporal portion of her right eye and 8 3 mm in the temporal portion of her left eye ( fig .
there were a 3 1.7 mm sized yellowish - white calcified plaque on the nasal bulbar conjunctiva of her right eye and a 1.5 0.5 mm sized yellowish - white calcified plaque on the nasal bulbar conjunctiva of her left eye ( fig .
in addition , we found that the bare sclera was covered with a thin abnormal membranous tissue .
there were no fluorescence stained lesions overlying the membranous tissue in either of her eyes ( fig .
the condition of the calcified plaque seemed to stabilize over the course of the next several weeks , and the area of scleral melting did not show any further deterioration . however , there was a newly developed fluorescence stained lesion on the calcified plaques ( fig .
fifteen months later , the thinned scleral area and fluorescence stained lesions showed no significant interval change ( fig .
because the scleral melting did not show any further deterioration during the following fifteen months , and aggressive surgical intervention might not have been helpful for improving her lesions , we decided to continue regular follow - ups and non - surgical treatment .
these procedures were performed using a bare sclera technique followed by the application of postoperative 0.02% mmc .
the ' regional conjunctivectomy ' involves the complete removal of the episcleral tissue , including the episcleral vasculature , leaving the scleral bed in an avascular state .
we believe that excessive cauterization of the sclera , which is the procedure that is performed to remove engorged episcleral vessels and to stop bleeding during surgery , might promote this avascular state .
when the choroid is exposed , operative therapy for the scleral defect area is required because the risk of a secondary infection is high and the ocular contents may become prolapsed with minor trauma .
disruption of the normal conjunctiva and episcleral vasculature may lead to difficulties in other ocular surgeries such as squint , encirclage and glaucoma surgery .
in addition to pterygium surgery , mmc has been successfully applied during various ocular surgeries as an anti - proliferative agent , including surgeries for glaucoma and ocular surface neoplasia . although the complication rate associated with mmc application is low , these complications can include corneal melting , scleral melting , endophthalmitis , necrotizing scleritis with or without inflammation , and corneoscleral perforation [ 1,4 - 6 ] .
wan norliza et al . reported a case of scleral melting that presented 16 years after a pterygium excision procedure with postoperative adjuvant topical mmc . till date
, there is no consensus on the optimal operative technique or dose of mmc for patients with chronic hyperemic conjunctiva .
as we reported , the complication of regional conjunctivectomy with adjuvant topical mmc can occur in healthy young women .
therefore , we recommend that surgeons should be exceedingly judicious when using mmc for the treatment of various conjunctival surgeries . | pubmed |
many physical and biological systems exhibit complex behavior characterized by long - range power - law correlations .
traditional approaches such as the power - spectrum and correlation analysis are not suited to accurately quantify long - range correlations in non - stationary signals e.g. signals exhibiting fluctuations along polynomial trends . detrended fluctuation analysis ( dfa)@xcite is a scaling analysis method providing a simple quantitative parameter the scaling exponent @xmath0 to represent the correlation properties of a signal .
the advantages of dfa over many methods are that it permits the detection of long - range correlations embedded in seemingly non - stationary time series , and also avoids the spurious detection of apparent long - range correlations that are artifact of non - stationarity . in the past few years , more than 100 publications have utilized the dfa as method of correlation analysis , and have uncovered long - range power - law correlations in many research fields such as cardiac dynamics@xcite , bioinformatics@xcite , economics@xcite , meteorology@xcite , geology@xcite , ethology@xcite etc .
furthermore , the dfa method may help identify different states of the same system according to its different scaling behaviors e.g. the scaling exponent @xmath0 for heart inter - beat intervals is different for healthy and sick individuals@xcite .
the correct interpretation of the scaling results obtained by the dfa method is crucial for understanding the intrinsic dynamics of the systems under study .
in fact , for all systems where the dfa method was applied , there are many issues that remain unexplained .
one of the common challenges is that the correlation exponent is not always a constant ( independent of scale ) and crossovers often exist i.e. change of the scaling exponent @xmath0 for different range of scales@xcite .
a crossover usually can arise from a change in the correlation properties of the signal at different time or space scales , or can often arise from trends in the data . in this paper , we systematically study how different types of trends affect the apparent scaling behavior of long - range correlated signals .
the existence of trends in times series generated by physical or biological systems is so common that it is almost unavoidable .
for example , the number of particles emitted by a radiation source in an unit time has a trend of decreasing because the source becomes weaker@xcite ; the density of air due to gravity has a trend at different altitude @xcite ; the air temperature in different geographic locations and the water flow of rivers have a periodic trend due to seasonal changes@xcite ; the occurrence rate of earthquakes in certain area has trend in different time period@xcite .
an immediate problem facing researchers applying scaling analysis to time series is whether trends in data arise from external conditions , having little to do with the intrinsic dynamics of the system generating noisy fluctuating data . in this case ,
a possible approach is to first recognize and filter out the trends before we attempt to quantify correlations in the noise .
alternatively , trends may arise from the intrinsic dynamics of the system , rather than being an epiphenomenon of external conditions , and thus may be correlated with the noisy fluctuations generated by the system . in this case , careful considerations should be given if trends should be filtered out when estimating correlations in the noise , since such `` intrinsic '' trends may be related to the local properties of the noisy fluctuations .
here we study the origin and the properties of crossovers in the scaling behavior of noisy signals , by applying the dfa method first on correlated noise and then on noise with trends , and comparing the difference in the scaling results . to this end , we generate artificial time series anticorrelated , white and correlated noise with standard deviation equal to one using the modified fourier filtering method introduced by makse et al.@xcite .
we consider the case when the trend is independent of the local properties of the noise ( external trend ) .
we find that the scaling behavior of noise with a trend is a superposition of the scaling of the noise and the apparent scaling of the trend , and we derive analytical relations based on the dfa , which we call `` superposition rule '' .
we show how this `` superposition rule '' can be used to determine if the trends are independent of the noisy fluctuation in real data , and if filtering these trends out will no affect the scaling properties of the data .
the outline of this paper is as follows . in sec.[secdfa ] , we review the algorithm of the dfa method , and in appendix [ secpuren ] we compare the performance of the dfa with the classical scaling analysis hurst s analysis ( r / s analysis) and show that the dfa is a superior method to quantify the scaling behavior of noisy signals . in sec .
[ seclin ] , we consider the effect of a linear trend and we present an analytic derivation of the apparent scaling behavior of a linear trend in appendix [ secdfa1l ] . in sec .
[ secsin ] , we study a periodic trend , and in sec .
[ seclc ] the effect of power - law trend .
we systematically study all resulting crossovers , their conditions of existence and their typical characteristics associated with the different types of trends .
in addition , we also show how to use dfa appropriately to minimize or even eliminate the effects of those trends in cases that trends are not choices of the study , that is , trends do not reflect the dynamics of the system but are caused by some `` irrelevant '' background . finally , sec .
[ seccon ] contains a summary .
to illustrate the dfa method , we consider a noisy time series , @xmath1 ( @xmath2 ) . we integrate the time series @xmath1 , @xmath3 where @xmath4 and is divided into boxes of equal size , @xmath5 . in each box
, we fit the integrated time series by using a polynomial function , @xmath6 , which is called the local trend . for order-@xmath7 dfa ( dfa-1 if @xmath8 , dfa-2 if @xmath9 etc . ) , @xmath7 order polynomial function should be applied for the fitting .
we detrend the integrated time series , @xmath10 by subtracting the local trend @xmath6 in each box , and we calculate the detrended fluctuation function @xmath11 for a given box size @xmath5 , we calculate the root mean square ( rms ) fluctuation @xmath12 ^ 2 } \label{f}\ ] ] the above computation is repeated for box sizes @xmath5 ( different scales ) to provide a relationship between @xmath13 and @xmath5 . a power - law relation between @xmath13 and the box size
@xmath5 indicates the presence of scaling : @xmath14 .
the parameter @xmath0 , called the scaling exponent or correlation exponent , represents the correlation properties of the signal : if @xmath15 , there is no correlation and the signal is an uncorrelated signal ( white noise ) ; if @xmath16 , the signal is anticorrelated ; if @xmath17 , there are positive correlations in the signal .
first we consider the simplest case : correlated noise with a linear trend .
a linear trend @xmath18 is characterized by only one variable the slope of the trend , @xmath19 . for convenience ,
we denote the rms fluctuation function for noise without trends by @xmath20 , linear trends by @xmath21 , and noise with a linear trend by @xmath22 . using the algorithm of makse@xcite ,
we generate correlated noise with standard deviation one , with a given correlation property characterized by a given scaling exponent @xmath0 .
we apply dfa-1 to quantify the correlation properties of the noise and find that only in certain good fit region the rms fluctuation function @xmath20 can be approximated by a power - law function [ see appendix [ secpuren ] ] @xmath23 where @xmath24 is a parameter independent of the scale @xmath5 .
we find that the good fit region depends on the correlation exponent @xmath0 [ see appendix [ secpuren ] ] .
we also derive analytically the rms fluctuation function for linear trend only for dfa-1 and find that [ see appendix [ secdfa1l ] ] @xmath25 where @xmath26 is a constant independent of the length of trend @xmath27 , of the box size @xmath5 and of the slope of the trend @xmath19 .
we obtain @xmath28 .
next we apply the dfa-1 method to the superposition of a linear trend with correlated noise and we compare the rms fluctuation function @xmath29 with @xmath20 [ see fig.[dfa1_npbl_r_a01n17 ] ] .
we observe a crossover in @xmath22 at scale @xmath30 . for @xmath31 ,
the behavior of @xmath29 is very close to the behavior of @xmath20 , while for @xmath32 , the behavior of @xmath29 is very close to the behavior of @xmath21 .
a similar crossover behavior is also observed in the scaling of the well - studied biased random walk @xcite .
it is known that the crossover in the biased random walk is due to the competition of the unbiased random walk and the bias [ see fig.5.3 of @xcite ] .
we illustrate this observation in fig .
[ x_dfa1_addlb_32_a01n17 ] , where the detrended fluctuation functions ( eq . ( [ psi ] ) ) of the correlated noise , @xmath33 , and of the noise with a linear trend , @xmath34 are shown . for the box size @xmath35 as shown in fig .
[ x_dfa1_addlb_32_a01n17](a ) and ( b ) , @xmath36 . for @xmath37 as shown in fig .
[ x_dfa1_addlb_32_a01n17](c ) and ( d ) , @xmath34 has distinguishable quadratic background significantly different from @xmath33 .
this quadratic background is due to the integration of the linear trend within the dfa procedure and represents the detrended fluctuation function @xmath38 of the linear trend .
these relations between the detrended fluctuation functions @xmath39 at different time scales @xmath5 explain the crossover in the scaling behavior of @xmath29 : from very close to @xmath20 to very close to @xmath21 ( observed in fig.[dfa1_npbl_r_a01n17 ] ) .
= 0.47 the experimental results presented in figs.[dfa1_npbl_r_a01n17 ] and [ x_dfa1_addlb_32_a01n17 ] suggest that the rms fluctuation function for a signal which is a superposition of a correlated noise and a linear trend can be expressed as : @xmath40 ^ 2 = \left [ f_{\rm l}(n)\right ] ^2 + \left [ f_{\rm \eta}(n)\right ] ^2 \label{addnl}\ ] ] we provide an analytic derivation of this relation in appendix [ secadd ] , where we show that eq.([addnl ] ) holds for the superposition of any two independent signals in this particular case noise and a linear trend .
we call this relation the `` superposition rule '' .
this rule helps us understand how the competition between the contribution of the noise and the trend to the rms fluctuation function @xmath29 at different scales @xmath5 leads to appearance of crossovers @xcite .
next , we ask how the crossover scale @xmath41 depends on : ( i ) the slope of the linear trend @xmath19 , ( ii ) the scaling exponent @xmath0 of the noise , and ( iii ) the length of the signal @xmath27 .
surprisingly , we find that for noise with any given correlation exponent @xmath0 the crossover scale @xmath41 itself follows a power - law scaling relation over several decades : @xmath42 ( see fig .
[ s_r_dfa1_nbl_n17 ] ) .
we find that in this scaling relation , the crossover exponent @xmath43 is negative and its value depends on the correlation exponent @xmath0 of the noise the magnitude of @xmath43 decreases when @xmath0 increases .
we present the values of the `` crossover exponent '' @xmath43 for different correlation exponents @xmath0 in table [ slopefit ] .
= 0.47 .
the crossover exponent @xmath43 from the power - law relation between the crossover scale @xmath41 and the slope of the linear trend @xmath19 @xmath44 for different values of the correlation exponents @xmath0 of the noise [ fig .
[ s_r_dfa1_nbl_n17 ] ] .
the values of @xmath43 obtained from our simulations are in good agreement with the analytical prediction @xmath45 [ eq .
( [ si_bl ] ) ] .
note that @xmath45 are not always exactly equal to @xmath43 because @xmath20 in simulations is not a perfect simple power - law function and the way we determine numerically @xmath41 is just approximated . [ cols="^,^,^ " , ] ideally , when analyzing a standard noise , @xmath13 ( dfa ) and @xmath46 ( @xmath46 analysis ) will be a power - law function with a given power : @xmath0 , no matter which region of @xmath13 and @xmath46 is chosen for calculation .
however , a careful study shows that the scaling exponent @xmath0 depends on scale @xmath5 .
the estimated @xmath0 is different for the different regions of @xmath13 and @xmath46 as illustrated by figs .
[ technique](a ) and [ technique](b ) and by tables [ tahaft ] and [ tadfa1 ft ] .
it is very important to know the best fitting region of dfa and r / s analysis in the study of real signals .
otherwise , the wrong @xmath0 will be obtained if an inappropriate region is selected . in order to find the best region ,
we first determine the dependence of the locally estimated @xmath0 , @xmath47 , on the scale @xmath5 .
first , generate a standard noise with given scaling exponent @xmath0 ; then calculate @xmath13 ( or @xmath46 ) , and obtain @xmath48 by local fitting of @xmath13 ( or @xmath46 ) .
same random simulation is repeated 50 times for both dfa and r / s analysis .
the resultant average @xmath49 , respectively , are illustrated in fig.[slope_n ] for dfa-1 and r / s analysis .
if a scaling analysis method is working properly , then the result @xmath48 from simulation with @xmath0 would be a horizontal line with slight fluctuation centered about @xmath50 .
note from fig.[slope_n ] that such a _ horizontal behavior _ does not hold for all the scales @xmath5 but for a certain range from @xmath51 to @xmath52 .
in addition , at small scale , r / s analysis gives @xmath53 if @xmath54 and @xmath55 if @xmath56 , which has been pointed out by mandelbrot@xcite while dfa gives @xmath53 if @xmath57 and @xmath55 if @xmath58
. it is clear that the smaller the @xmath51 and the larger the @xmath52 , the better the method .
we also perceive that the expected _ horizontal behavior _ stops because the fluctuations become larger due to the under - sampling of @xmath13 or @xmath46 when @xmath5 gets closer to the length of the signal @xmath59 .
furthermore , it can be seen from fig.[slope_n ] that @xmath60 independent of @xmath0 ( if the best fit region exists ) , which is why one tenth of the signal length is the maximum box size when using dfa or r / s analysis .
= 0.47 = 0.47 = 0.47 = 0.47 = 0.47 on the contrary , @xmath51 does not depend on the @xmath59 since @xmath48 at small @xmath5 hardly changes as @xmath59 varies but it does depend on @xmath0 .
thus , we obtain @xmath51 quantitatively as shown in fig.[smin ] . for r
/ s analysis , only for @xmath61 , @xmath51 is small ; for @xmath0 a little away from @xmath62 ( for example , 0.5 ) , @xmath51 becomes very large and close to @xmath52 , indicating that the best fit region will vanish and r / s analysis does not work at all . comparing to r / s ,
dfa works better since @xmath51 is quite small for @xmath63 correlated signals .
one problem remains for dfa , @xmath51 for small @xmath0 ( @xmath64 ) is still too large comparing to those for large @xmath0(@xmath65 ) .
we can improve it by applying dfa on the integration of the noise with @xmath66 .
the resultant new expected @xmath67 for the integrated signal would be @xmath68 , while the @xmath51 for the integrated signal becomes much smaller as shown also in fig.[smin](shading area @xmath69 ) .
therefore , for a noise with @xmath16 , it is best to estimate the scaling exponent @xmath67 of the integrated signal first and then obtain @xmath0 by @xmath70 .
this is what we did in the following sections to those anticorrelated signals .
for two uncorrelated signals @xmath71 and @xmath72 , their root mean square fluctuation functions are @xmath73 and @xmath74 respectively .
we want to prove that for the signal @xmath75 , its rms fluctuation @xmath76 consider three signals in the same box first .
the integrated signals for @xmath77 , @xmath78 and @xmath79 are @xmath80 , @xmath81 and @xmath82 and their corresponding trends are @xmath83 , @xmath84,@xmath85 ( @xmath86 , @xmath5 is the box size ) . since @xmath87 and combine the definition of detrended fluctuation function eq.[psi ] , we have that for all boxes @xmath88 where @xmath89 is the detrended fluctuation function for the signal @xmath79 , @xmath90 is for the signal @xmath77 and @xmath91 for @xmath78 .
furthermore , according to the definition of rms fluctuation , we can obtain @xmath92 ^ 2 } \\\nonumber & & = \sqrt{\frac{1}{n_{max } } \sum\limits_{i=1}^{n_{max}}\left[y_{f}(i)+y_{g}(i)\right ] ^2 } , \label{plugpsi}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath7 is the number of boxes and @xmath93 means the @xmath93__th _ _ box .
if @xmath77 and @xmath78 are not correlated , neither are @xmath94 and @xmath95 and , thus , @xmath96 from eq.[uncorrelated ] and eq.[plugpsi ] , we have @xmath97}\nonumber\\ & & = \sqrt{\left[f_{f}(n)\right ] ^2+\left[f_{g}(n)\right ] ^2}.\end{aligned}\ ] ]
@xmath98let us suppose a linear time series @xmath99 .
the integrated signal @xmath100 is @xmath101 let as call @xmath27 the size of the series and @xmath5 the size of the box .
the rms fluctuation @xmath21 as a function of @xmath5 and @xmath27 is @xmath102 2 where @xmath103 and @xmath104 are the parameters of a least - squares fit of the @xmath105-th box of size @xmath5 .
@xmath103 and @xmath104 can be determined analytically , thus giving : @xmath106 @xmath107 with these values , @xmath21 can be evaluated analytically : @xmath108 the dominating term inside the square root is @xmath109 and then one obtains @xmath110 leading directly to an exponent of 2 in the dfa .
an important consequence is that , as @xmath13 does not depend on @xmath27 , for linear trends with the same slope , the dfa must give exactly the same results for series of different sizes .
this is not true for other trends , where the exponent is 2 , but the factor multiplying @xmath111 can depend on @xmath27 .
let us suppose now a series of the type @xmath112 .
the integrated time series @xmath10 is where @xmath103 and @xmath104 are the parameters of a least - squares fit of the @xmath105-th box of size @xmath5 .
as before , @xmath103 and @xmath104 can be determined analytically , thus giving : @xmath116 as @xmath119 , the dominant term inside the square root is given by @xmath120 , and then one has approximately @xmath121 leading directly to an exponent 2 in the dfa analysis . an interesting consequence derived from eq .
( [ quad ] ) is that , @xmath114 depends on the length of signal @xmath27 , and the dfa line ( @xmath122 versus @xmath123 ) for quadratic series @xmath112 of different @xmath27 do not overlap ( as it happened for linear trends ) . | arxiv |
How is bonding in the trihydrogen cation and triatomic hydrogen possible?
According to wikipedia $\ce{H^+3}$ and $\ce{H3}$ are possible and have been synthesized. It says that $\ce{H^+3}$ is stable too. Can anyone please tell me how is the bonding possible?
![enter image description here](https://i.stack.imgur.com/r9F3H.png)
Hydrogen has a valency of 1 but it still bonds like Ozone. How is this possible?
Links:
* [$\ce{H^+3}$ - Trihydrogen Cation](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trihydrogen_cation)
* [$\ce{H3}$ - Triatomic Hydrogen](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triatomic_hydrogen)
Here are the vital parts from the links about $\ce{H3}$ in the question:
>
> The molecule can only exist in an excited state [...] the electronic state for a trihydrogen cation with an electron delocalized around it is a Rydberg state.
>
>
>
and from second-level link
>
> Rydberg states of the neutral triatomic hydrogen molecule can be viewed as
> an electron attached to a tightly bound $\ce{H3+}$ core
>
>
>
Basically, at least some states can be viewed as an $\ce{H3+}$ ion working as a nucleus in a bigger hydrogen-like atom. If said 'nucleus' catches the electron, the molecule immediately dissociates. So, let's focus for a bit on $\ce{H3+}$. In this ion a two-electron three-center bond is formed. Such bonding is actually pretty common, even if (almost never) mentioned in school. As long as orbitals of several atoms can overlap effectively and have fitting symmetry, they can form a single highly symmetrical bonding orbital, that can accept two electrons. In this case the bonding order between atoms is fractional, so in $D\_\mathrm{3h}$ (triangular) $\ce{H3+}$, each of the three $\ce{H-H}$ bonds has bond order $1/3$. This kind of bonding plays a critical role in the chemistry of boranes (and Group 3 elements in general, maybe except thallium) and some families of compounds of d-block elements.
To obtain more intimate and correct understanding you should invest in [molecular orbital theory](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Molecular_orbital_theory). Your link for $\ce{H3+}$ contains a comprehensive description of bonding in terms of said theory.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
As the two most recent American Presidents, Barrack Obama and Donald Trump are remarkably different beings.
Their clashing political views, be they on internationalism vs nationalism, free trade vs mercantilism, or open- borders vs tight immigration, are diametrically opposing by virtually every measure.
Besides policy substance, the personality differences between Obama and Trump are also poles apart, in ways which I believe are relevant when applied to the most powerful job in the world.
Moreover, Trump and Obama's biographies prior to their bids for public office, are worth consideration.
Barrack Obama spent much of his upbringing moving between Indonesia and Hawaii, living an unusual, yet insignificant life. So while the birtherism movement carried some racial undertones, the fact it was able to gain such attention can be attributed to Obama's conspicuous, hazy childhood. While the movement continued for months, it was rather strange that Obama was unable to call upon any old friends to verify the roots of his childhood. Obama then spent many years in college, and later worked as a community organizer. Next, he worked for some time as a lawyer, before making a successful run to the Illinois senate in 1996. And after serving in the Illinois Senate, Obama was elected to the US Senate in 2004, began his bid for the US Presidency in 2007, and as the world now knows, served as US President until January of this year. While this appears to be a similar life story to any average run- of- the- mill political hack, it was almost like the 44th President came from nowhere, if there can be such a thing.
Contrastingly, Donald Trump grew up in world- famous New York City, raised by his real- estate mogul father, Fred Trump. After attending college, Trump followed in his father's footsteps into real estate development, and as his fame accumulated over time, became synonymous with the excesses of New York City. Prior to his Presidential campaign in 2015, Trump's brash, holds no barred approach was hardly a mystery, and he was already one of the more recognized personalities in American public life. As a billionaire, some have called Trump's wealth into question, and have argued immense inheritances from his father to explain his lavish financial position. However critics and friends alike can all agree on one thing: Trump has a renowned reputation when it comes to work ethic. Trump is known for sleeping two and a half to four hours a night, having a lifetime abstinence from alcohol, and prior to pursuing the office of US President, was responsible for a multi- billion dollar, transnational business.
For mine, after contemplating the lives of Barrack Obama and Donald Trump, all of the differences in their styles as President begin to make a great deal more sense.
There is a reason Barrack Obama aged so dramatically while President, and constantly complained about the burdens of the job. There is also a reason why teleprompters aside, Obama's later, uninspiring press conferences, are so distinctive from Trump's bombastic, at times unhinged press conferences.
It takes a special,unique character to serve as American President, as in the job, the lives of millions can literally depend on split- second decisions.
However, Obama was none of these things, and was a lightweight better prepared for the calm, luxurious atmosphere of college campuses, rather than on the front lines of patriotic duty to the American people.
But, because he was black and presented himself in such a way as to deceive the American people, Obama, a medium- energy, ordinary capabilities person was able to rise all the way up into the Oval office.
But after eight, tired years, Obama could no longer fool the world as to the accident of a President he truly was.
Alternatively, Trump's private- sector orientated mindset, in addition to his extraordinary weight of personality, appears to have him better prepared to serve as the American President.
Of course, Trump is early into his Presidency, and as he delves further into his 70's, Trump's appetite for the job may wane.
Regardless, considering his rate of achievement in just the first two months, Trump's greatness of soul and natural disposition to lead, has positioned him in a far better place than that of his predecessor. | slim_pajama |
Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers A night to remember
I do not own Gadget, Dale or any other Rescue Rangers. I only use them for entertainment purposes. No profit was made from this text.
A night to remember...
Gadget woke up and felt herself disoriented. She was not in her room. Rather, she was in the living room. She wondered, what is she doing here, but not for long. A slight headache forced her to wince. She finally looked around, squinting against the sun. It was unlike her to sleep in, but today, she slept nearly till midday. And that headache...
A slight snore to the right forced her to turn her head and look. The origin of snore was Dale, lying beside her on the sofa. Under the same blanket. What?! Gadget stared on Dale, pale from sudden thought. She was afraid she has done something really stupid with him. While she stared, the memories of the evening before came to her jogging...
...Gadget entered the headquarters and closed the door behind herself. She expected headquarters to be empty. Monty and Zipper were out of the town, visiting Camambert Kate and Cheddarhead Charlie on Niagara falls, and Chip mentioned a trip to his parents with a sleepover. She came to the kitchen, wishing for a sandvich and a cola, and was stopped before the door by the sound from inside it. Now when she looked, she noticed a glimpse of light coming from it.
She wondered, who might be there, and opened the door. Much to her surprise, she saw there Dale, conjuring something in the pot on the stove. Gadget came closer. Without turning, Dale said - "Good evening, Gadget. I was expecting you. Have a seat, I`ll finish this in a minute." Flabbergasted, Gadget sat down. Dale stirred something in the pot, then put a lid on it and sat down on the opposite side of the table.
"How was your day, Gadget?" - he asked. Gadget shrugged - "The usual, I guess. I just came back from junkyard." Dale smirked - "So, you must be hungry? Supper will be ready in a jiffy." Gadget looked uneasily on the pot and asked - "Uh, Dale, what is it?" Dale glanced on pot and said - "Vegetable and chicken stew." Gadget winced. She remembered Dale`s previous attempts to cook well enough. Dale smirked again, got up, took off the lid and started stirring stew again. Then he scooped a spoon of stew and tried it. "Hmmm... Need come cumin. And nutmeg." He added someting to pot. Gadget got up and came closer, keeping her distance through, as she was aware, that Dale`s masterpieces exploded sometimes. "Are you sure it`s all right?" - she asked. Dale scooped another spoon and offered her - "Try yourself." Gadget closed her eyes, and with all the determination of sentenced to death person put the spoon in her mouth. She stayed like this two seconds, then her eyes lit up.
"Golly! That`s... That`s terrific!" - she exclaimed, after swallowing it. Dale smiled and put the lid on the pot. "It`ll be ready in few minutes. Do you want some salad in the meantime?" Gadget nodded. When Dale opened a refrigerator and extracted a bowl of salad, her surprise reached a new level. Dale scooped a generous portion of salad on the dish, and handed it to Gadget. Then he put some salad for himself.
Gadget cautiously tried a bit of salad. In a second after that, she find herself wolfing the salad down. And asking for more. However, she continued her conversation with Dale even during eating. "Dale, why are you here? I thought, you would go with Chip."- she asked. Dale shrugged - "I don`t get along with his folks well. Besides, someone had to stay and cook you supper." Gadget thought about that and asked - "What`s the trouble with Chip`s folks?" "I don`t really have anything to talk with them about. And Chip would want some time with them alone, without interruption. And they always try to get me be more responcible, just like my folks." - Dale replied.
Gadget chewed her salad for some time, then asked - "Is it a bad thing - to be more responcible?" Dale winced - "Don`t go there, Gadget. Not yet." Gadget found this remark funny, but decided to let it go. Instead, she complimented Dale - "That salad was great." Dale smiled - "Thanks. By the way, are you ready for stew?" Gadget nodded and Dale brought two deep dishes, then put a good amount of stew in each.
They began eating. Gadget find the stew very tasty. It had it`s hot pieces, and was refreshingly different from Monty`s cheeze. While eating, they had a small talk. Gadget`s surprise level gone up a notch - Dale actually made an understandable conversation today. Soon, stew was finished.
Gadget pushed the empty dish from her and leaned back. "Whew, that was good." Dale stood up and peeked in the oven. He took a bottle in his hands and started to spray something inside the oven. Gadget asked - "What are you doing, Dale?" "Putting some wine on it." - he told, shutting the oven. "On what?" -wondered Gadget. "Oh, I don`t know it`s name on English. Uncle Givi, who taught me how to cook it, called it shashlik." - Dale explained.
- Uncle Givi?
- He`s not my real uncle, he just asked to call him so. Uncle Givi is from Georgia.
Gadget nodded. And then Dale opened oven, and extracted several sticks with bits of meat and vegetables on them. The smell was overwhelmingly pleasant. He passed one stick to Gadget, took one for himself, and put the rest on the dish in the center of the table. Gadget eagerly begin consuming new food. Dale, before beginning to eat, got two glasses and poured them full of dark red fluid. Then he passed one glass to Gadget. She looked on it curiously, and asked - "What is it, Dale?" "Wine." - he courtly replied. Gadget raised one brow. "Dale, I do not approve alcogol." - she said with a frown. Dale looked sheepish. "It`s a dinner wine. You`ll need to drink much more then one glass to get tipsy." - he said.
Gadget paused and sniffed the wine. It smelt uneasily satisfying. "I don`t know. It feels wrong, somehow." Dale raised his brow in turn - "Excuse moi? We are eating heavy food here. Your digestive system could use a little help. Besides, in small amounts, wine is beneficial." Gadget signed and sipped from her glass. Taste was really good. She signed again. "One glass only." - she said grimly, and begin eating shashlik again. When the stick was clean, she reached for another.
By ten o`clock, they cleaned out the table. Gadget did not carried her decision, and had two full glasses of wine. Now, they were sitting and talking. Dale got a small tray of roasted acorns from the oven, and set it on the table. Gadget got one and popped it in her mouth. Then she popped another one. Dale was checking something on the table, and he did not saw, what she did. When he finally turned around, Gadget was eating fifth. Dale said hesitatingly - "That`s not such a good idea, Gadget. You might get high on those acorns." Mouth full, Gadget asked - "Whaf do you meam?" Dale replied - "You see, I marinaded them in hemp flowers sauce." Gadget swallowed and asked - "So, you mean, that your acorns are laced with marijuana?" Dale tugged on his collar, and said - "Uh-huh." Gadget shrugged - "Then I must do one and only thing." Dale asked - "What exactly?" "Have another." - replied Gadget, popping one more in her mouth.
Relaxed, Dale sat down and helped Gadget to finish the acorns. Gadget felt herself funny. She knew, that what she was doing was morally wrong, but she didn`t care. She never felt better in her life. Dale, meanwhile, cleaned up the kitchen. She even helped him some. This finished, they went to the living room, and sat on the sofa. Dale got the ashtray, and placed it before him on the table. Gadget wondered, why did he need ashtray. In a second she knew her answer. Dale put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it up. Sweet smoke filled the room. Gadget sniffed once, and twice. She asked - ""Dale, is this marijuana, too?" Dale lazily nodded. She looked on Dale, and asked - "Can I have one?" Dale shrugged, gave her cigarette and held the lighter for her. Gadget lit it up, and had a first drag.
They were sitting on the sofa, and talking. Seemed, that both are unaffected, but they were talking about the things, they wouldn`t normally. Gadget asked - "Dale, why are you doing narcotics?" Dale shrugged - "It`s my lifestyle. I`m forever high on."
- Come on.
- It`s true. I`m high on LSD almost all the time.
- On LSD?
- Uh-huh. If only you knew, what a resistance I built...
- But why?
- I don`t really know. I have nothing to break me apart from my fantasies.
- But you can do so much better.
- What for? I`m managing with what I`ve got already.
- But you can do better.
- Maybe. But being all responcible would take away the fun.
- But you`ll stop screwing up.
- True.
- Why don`t you try?
There was no reply from Dale. Gadget wanted to pursue the matter further, but her thoughts deviated. Instead, she said - "You know, Dale, you can actually cook very well." Dale smirked - "Only when I`m sober and not on high."
- I liked it. Maybe where is something you can do fine, when you`re not on high, except cooking?
- Maybe.
- Tell me, how came you can do that so well? Who taught you?
- Oh, that`s quite a story. It all started in school. I was working part-time in uncle Givi`s wine shop...
- You worked underage?
- Nope.
- I don`t get it? Chip said, he left the school too early to have real work...
- I`m older then Chip. Two years older.
- Really? Then how come you finished school together?
- Chip was smart kid. He jumped up two classes.
- Oh.
- So, I worked in uncle Givi`s shop. And he taught me, how to cook, and how to choose a good wine.
- Did you started doing narcotics then?
- A few months before I met Chip. I just got transferred into new school, noone knew me, so they were thinking, that this is my normal disposition, not stoned out of skull mode.
- But why?
- I guess, it was an accident. You see, I was majoring in chemistry. And one day, I syntetised LSD on a bet. Its fumes put me on high first time. I liked it so much, I started putting myself on high every day. A few days after, I was transferred to the new school... And you know the rest.
- Dale, why don`t you quit?
- Nope. Only for something equally great.
- Would you quit it for me?
- Huh?
Gadget wrapped her arms around Dale`s neck and pulled him down to kiss. A few seconds later, they pulled away, and Dale signed. "Wow."- he said. "So? Will you do it for me?" - asked Gadget. "It`s tempting..." -he replied, - "Very tempting." And Gadget pulled him for another kiss....
Gadget involuntary smiled. Dale - cute, but seriously misleaded. But her smile disappeared soon. "Please, let it be not what I think..." - she whispered. And shook Dale. With a small grunt, he opened his eyes and stared on Gadget. "Yeah?" - he asked, strangely aware. Gadget asked him in a whisper - "Dale, do you remember, what happened between us?" "Well, we made out for some time, then we fell asleep." - he replied. "Are you sure?" - she whispered fiercely.
- Yeah, you`re still a virgin, if that`s what you ask about. And don`t whisper, there`s noone in the house besides us.
- Why are you so sure?
- Well, Chip will be here only in afternoon, and Monty and Zipper even not today.
- NO, the other thing? Have you...
- NO! I haven`t checked, if you`re still a virgin. I just assumed, you was a virgin yesterday.
Gadget let out a huge sign. Then she hugged Dale - "Thank you." He looked on her sheepishly - "What for?" "For your gentlemanry. For not using advantage on me." - she said. Dale patted her back - "Any time, Gadget."
They got up and eliminated all the evidence of the previous night together. While doing it, Gadget asked - "Dale, will you quit drugs?"
- What drugs?
- You told me everything yesterday.
- Damn.
- Please, Dale... For me?
- I don`t know. I can lower the dosage if you want.
- I hope you`ll be able to quit it. I like you , when you`re not on high.
- Really? I`ll see, what I can do...
Gadget kissed him slightly and said - "You can do that, Dale." He grinned sheepishly and said - "I`ll better take off the trash." With that, he walked out of the door. Gadget looked after him, and thought - "If he will quit the drugs, he`ll make a good husband..."
End file.
| fanfiction |
The athletics competition at the 1975 Pan American Games was held in Mexico City, Mexico between 13 and 20 October.
Medal summary
Men's events
Women's events
Medal table
Notes
References
GBR Athletics
Athletics
1975
Pan American Games
1975 Pan American Games | wikipedia |
Don't miss it!!! July 29th and 30th we are having a huge barn sale with multiple vendors! We'll have refurbished furniture, vintage treasures and salvaged farm finds as well as original pieces created by local artisans. Stop in for a cold drink while you shop the vendors spaces. This is the same weekend as the Take A Break From the Interstate 3-Day Road Market on Highway 21... so you can make a full day out of shopping! Please share the good news! | slim_pajama |
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries Movie Night
Written for the Sookieverse weekly one shot challenge. Week 23 2012
Theme: What's the last movie you watched? Now, have Eric and Sookie watch it and tell us what happens.
_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing. I have borrowed these characters from Charlaine Harris and promise to return them in the condition I found them at the end of this story. There are no profits made here.
Warning: this will contain spoilers for the hunger games trilogy so please keep that in mind. I don't have a beta and I am a grammar nightmare so this is me apologizing in advance. Please enjoy.
_**Movie Night**_
"Hey Sookie, can we get another round over here please?"
"Sure thing Catfish be right there." I called back to the table the road crew my brother works with was currently sitting at. They called it an early day today since there is a huge storm outside and decided to come in, have a couple drinks and an early dinner.
"Here you go." I place the drinks on the table. I ask them if they would like anything else and make an effort to smile and be pleasant since I have always liked the guys from the road crew. It has become much easier for me to focus on my job since I have been able to strengthen my mental shields to keep all the random voices out. I'm not sure if my shields are stronger because of the regular blood exchanges with Eric or because I use my telepathy more often working for him. Either way I know I am grateful that they have gotten stronger; it sure makes my life easier.
"Hey Sis what time you getting off of work? Weathers really bad out there, maybe I should take you home?" Jasons comment catches me off guard for a moment since he doesn't usually offer to do anything nice for me. Ever. I look outside the front windows of Merlottes and realize that Jason is right, it is pouring rain outside. The rain is so heavy I can hardly make out the road. I think I might just take him up on that offer.
"That won't be necessary Stackhouse I will make sure that Sookie makes it home safely." I turn around at the sound of Eric's voice. I wasn't expecting to see him tonight, apparently he had other ideas. My heart jumps in my chest as I take in all of his 6"5' Viking glory. Just looking at him makes my mouth water. We hadn't seen each other in a couple of days and I was really missing him. Guess I won't need that ride from Jason after all.
"Oh well I guess that's okay then." Jason said and went back to his food. He has finally learned to except the fact that I am with Eric and plan to stay that way. It took a lot of convincing and long conversations to get to this point but I am so glad that we have. I showed Eric to a table and told him I would bring him a blood.
"Here ya go Eric," I set the blood down in front of him; "I'll be off in an hour or so."
"I'll wait."
Since Eric and I came to our agreement over our blood bond and I agreed to give us a chance we have been spending a fair amount time together. I have a feeling he just wants to make sure I am used to having him around so that I am not tempted to run again. He always accuses me of running from him if our relationship gets a little rocky. I suppose he may have a point but I am really working on it. I have been making an effort to talk about things when they are bothering my instead of just lashing out at him; which is what I did in the past.
I finished my last hour of work and said bye to Sam on my way out of his office with my purse. Eric was waiting for me by the employee entrance. We decided that Eric would drive to my house and we would pick up my car tomorrow since I really didn't want to drive through this storm. Eric picked me up and ran vampire speed to his car depositing me in the passenger seat. When we got to my house he repeated the gesture in reverse stating that he didn't want me to catch a cold by getting soaking wet. Since I was already pretty wet I figured he probably had a point. I went to my room to change into some comfortable clothes for our evening in.
"So what are we doing tonight Eric?" I asked. Eric held up a DVD in response.
"Pam says that nights like tonight are best spent indoors so I thought we could watch a movie. I picked this up on my way here." I took a closer look at the case for the DVD and realized it was the Hunger Games. I had read the book a few years ago but had yet to see the movie. Gotta love Pams obsession with self help books and columns, she sure does give Eric some good advice. I'm pretty sure her advice is largely responsible for some of our more memorable dates.
"Sounds good. Just let me make myself something to eat before we get started." I call as I start heading to the kitchen with dinner on my mind.
"I forgot, hold on a moment, lover." And with that Eric went racing out the back door again. He was back so fast I don't think any of the rain actually got him. Damn Vampire speed. He was holding a takeout bag from a Chinese place in Shreveport that I favoured.
"You brought me dinner?" I asked with a smile on my face. I appreciated that he thought of things like that. My Ex who shall remain unnamed never thought of my needs. He would help others and himself but it was like my needs didn't exist.
"Of course, I didn't think that you would want to cook after you had been work all day." Eric certainly knew how to make a girl feel appreciated in more ways than one. I filled my plate up with an assortment of Chinese goodness and plopped down on the couch with my hideous quilt over my legs.
"Alright let's get this movie started. I really wanted to see this. I just haven't had the chance yet" I say as Eric heads to the DVD player and puts the movie in. I had read all of the books but hadn't had a chance to see the film yet.
"Good that means I made a good choice. It seemed interesting to me." Eric shrugged, he has a hard time picking movies for us. He likes them gory to the extreme. I prefer something with a little more story to it.
Eric and I sit on the couch and get completely engrossed in the movie. I don't think we have watched a movie this intently before. Honestly I can't remember the last time we made it to the end of a movie before our activities distracted us.
I really don't like how they changed Katniss getting the mockingjay pin. I think that the pin was more powerful because it was given as a gift from another young girl. I also really liked Madges character even if she wasn't in the story very much. We watch intently as Katniss volunteers to take her sisters place in the hunger games. Eric and I laugh when Katniss shoots the apple out of the pigs' mouth. I remember that being a favorite part of the book as well.
"That was very gutsy. That is something that you would do I think." Eric comments. I just grinned at him and batted my eyes.
The interviews struck me as ridiculous both now and when I read the books. I can't believe everyone just falls in line like that. I would probably tell the interviewer off so bad they would kill me before the game even starts. Eric is completely absorbed in the beginning of the hunger games and the blood bath at the cornucopia; I think he might have even popped some fang. The scene was a little too blood thirsty for me. I love the alliance between Katniss and Rue. Even though I know how the alliance will end I still find myself cheering them on. I start crying when Rue is killed, I can't help but think of how young she is. It is also a really touching scene when Katniss puts the flowers beside her body and holds her hand up in respect.
When they announce that two winners will be allowed if they come from the same district I smile knowing that Katniss is going to get Peeta and force the game makers to let them both win. Of course she doesn't realize how much trouble that's going to cause.
I actually curse at the t.v. when the game makers change the rule to only one winner. I get emotional again when Katniss opens her hands with the berries at the end of the games with the idea that the game makers will want two winners more then they want no winners. It takes guts to stand up to authority like that, not to mention that she was right. After the movie I can't help but think of how sick the whole thing is. How can anyone just watch children kill each other for their own entertainment?
"I wonder if something like that could ever really happen?" I ask thoughtfully.
"Anything is possible when humans are involved. Humanity has down some pretty horrible things to each other throughout history."
"I suppose that's true. It's sad to think that our world could come to something like that."
"There are many things that could happen to the world. You cannot predict what might happen in the future. It is best to just live your life and deal with things as they come." Eric replied. I decided to take his advice since he has been around long enough to know.
"Will there be more of these movies?" Eric asks.
"Yes there are three books in the series I think they plan on making four movies."
"Why four movies if there are only three books?" Eric asks.
"Because that's how people make them these days, I think they are just trying to get more money out of movie goers but they claim it is to properly tell the story. They are going to make the last book into two movies." I roll my eyes. Really of the three books I think the second book is the one they should make two movies out of but it's not like anyone asked me.
"Do they not tell the story properly?"
"Some do and some don't. Some of the more recent ones have done a good job. Lord of the Rings was told very well," I answer with a shrug, "I suppose we will just have to wait and see if they do a good job of these ones."
"Well I think we should go and see the next one in the theater. That is not something that we have done before and I used to enjoy going to the show."
"Okay sounds like a good idea to me; although the book for this one was much better than the movie." My response ends with a yawn it has been a very long day.
"Are you tired lover? I had thought we could upstairs and I could show you how much I love that delicious body of yours but if you are too tired I suppose we could wait until tomorrow." he says with a twinkle in his eyes. He knows exactly what he is doing.
"No way. I have been waiting to have my quality time with your gracious plenty for hours." With that said Eric scoops me up and takes me to my room. Once he deposits me on my bed he proceeds to show just how much appreciation he has for me. Of course I reciprocate because really who wouldn't appreciate a Gracious Plenty.
End file.
| fanfiction |
the discovery of superconductivity above 50 k in iron pnictides has posed a strong impact in the community of condensed matter physics.@xcite one of the key issues here is about the superconducting pairing mechanism . theoretically it was suggested that the pairing may be established via inter - pocket scattering of electrons between the hole pockets ( around @xmath7 point ) and electron pockets ( around m point ) , leading to the pairing manner of an isotropic gap on each pocket but with opposite signs between them ( the so - called s@xmath8).@xcite meanwhile other models adopt the s@xmath8 pairing gap but assume that the pairing interaction is established via the local magnetic super - exchange.@xcite besides , by varying the height of the pnictogen to the fe planes , it was argued that the pairing symmetry may be switched from s@xmath8 to d - wave pairing,@xcite as corroborated by the data in lafepo where a nodal gap was inferred from the penetration depth measurements.@xcite similarly , experimental results about the pairing symmetry remain highly controversial leaving the perspectives ranging from s@xmath9-wave , to s@xmath8 and to d - wave.@xcite further comprehension to this essential topic is highly desired . in a superconductor ,
the disorder induced impurity scattering and pair breaking strongly depend on the very details of the pairing gap , therefore it is informative to detect the disorder scattering effect in the superconducting state . according to the anderson s theorem,@xcite in a conventional s - wave superconductor
, nonmagnetic impurities will not lead to apparent pair - breaking effect .
however , a magnetic impurity , owing to the effect of breaking the time reversal symmetry , can break cooper pairs easily . in sharp contrast , in a d - wave superconductor , nonmagnetic impurities can significantly alter the pairing interaction and induce a high density of states ( dos ) due to the sign change of the gap on a fermi surface .
this was indeed observed in cuprate superconductors where zn - doping induces t@xmath10-suppression as strong as other magnetic disorders , such as mn and ni.@xcite as for the pairing through exchanging the af spin fluctuations between different fermi pockets with the s@xmath8 pairing , it has been pointed out that nonmagnetic impurities could severely suppress @xmath11 and the gap.@xcite in this paper , we report the doping effect of mn and zn to the fe sites of superconductor ba@xmath0k@xmath0fe@xmath1as@xmath1 .
we found that the mn - doping ( leading to the magnetic impurities ) depresses t@xmath10 drastically , while the impurity scattering and suppression to t@xmath10 by zn - doping ( nonmagnetic scattering centers ) is negligible .
the contrasting impurity scattering effects as revealed by our results need to be reconciled with the theoretical expectations of the picture of inter - pocket scattering via exchanging af spin fluctuations .
the mn - doped and zn - doped polycrystalline samples ba@xmath0k@xmath0(fe@xmath12tm@xmath13)@xmath1as@xmath1 ( tm = mn and zn ) were fabricated by solid state reaction method@xcite .
powders k@xmath14as , feas , baas , znas and mnas were prepared previously as precursors .
the samples with different doping concentrations were pressed into pellets under the same pressure , wrapped in ta foils and sintered under exactly the same conditions to eliminate the possible errors in the sample - making process . the x - ray diffraction ( xrd ) measurement
was performed using an mxp18a - hf - type diffractometer with cu - k@xmath15 radiation .
the analysis of x - ray diffraction data was done by using the softwares powder - x and fullprof , the obtained results are consistent with each other .
the compositions of the samples were examined by scanning electron microscopy ( sem , hitachi s-4200 ) and the energy dispersive x - ray analysis ( edx , oxford-6566 ) .
the ac susceptibility measurements were carried out through an oxford cryogenic system maglab - exa-12 .
the resistivity , magnetoresistance and hall effect were measured with a quantum design instrument physical property measurement system ( ppms ) , and the dc magnetization by a quantum design instrument squid ( mpms-7 ) .
k@xmath0(fe@xmath12mn@xmath13)@xmath1as@xmath1 samples under zero field .
it is clear that the superconducting transition is depressed drastically by doping mn .
( b ) temperature dependence of resistivity of the ba@xmath0k@xmath0(fe@xmath12zn@xmath13)@xmath1as@xmath1 samples under zero field .
the depression to the superconducting transition by zn - doping is negligible .
the inset in ( b ) shows the enlarged part in the low temperature region .
the dashed lines are extrapolation of the normal state data to t = 0 k. it is remarkable that the undoped sample has exactly a zero residual resistivity . , width=302 ] k@xmath0(fe@xmath12mn@xmath13)@xmath1as@xmath1 samples measured with h@xmath16 = 0.1 oe and f=333 hz .
( b ) temperature dependence of ac susceptibility of the ba@xmath0k@xmath0(fe@xmath12zn@xmath13)@xmath1as@xmath1 samples measured with the same conditions as the mn - doped sample .
, width=302 ]
in fig.1(a ) , we show the temperature dependence of resistivity of the mn - doped samples ba@xmath0k@xmath0(fe@xmath12mn@xmath13)@xmath1as@xmath1 .
one can see that the superconducting transition temperature was suppressed quickly upon the doping of mn , and the superconductivity vanishes in the sample with x = 0.08 . in contrast , as shown in fig .
1(b ) , the zn - doped sample does not exhibit a clear change of t@xmath10 with the nominal doping concentration as high as x = 0.10 .
the zn - doping effect in the iron pnictide has been under a heavy debate .
it was found by li et al.@xcite that the zn - doping to the fe sites in lafeaso does not change t@xmath10 clearly .
however , also in the zn - doped but high pressure synthesized lafeaso samples , guo et al.@xcite found that the superconductivity can be destroyed completely at a very low doping level of 2% .
actually in our zn - doped ba-122 samples , the slight change of t@xmath10 in the samples with different zn concentrations may be attributed to the random scattering of t@xmath10 values induced in the synthesizing process .
the temperature dependence of ac susceptibilities for the mn - doped and zn - doped samples are shown in fig.2(a ) and fig.2(b ) , respectively .
for mn - doped ones , the suppression of @xmath11 is remarkable . the sample with x
= 0.08 does not show diamagnetism down to 2 k. this is consistent with the resistivity data .
for zn - doped ones , however , there are not much differences in the values of @xmath11 for different doping levels ( x = 0 to 0.1 ) . in order to know whether the zn - impurities are really introduced into the lattice
, we have carried out detailed analysis on the compositions of the grains in each sample using the edx analysis .
the undoped sample ba@xmath0k@xmath0fe@xmath1as@xmath1 exhibits superconductivity at about @xmath11 = 35 k , combining with the lattice constants@xcite , we conclude that our sample is slightly overdoped .
the edx data reveals that the actual doping levels of mn is very close to the nominal composition up to 8% , while zn doping has a nonlinear ratio between the really measured composition and the nominal one : 3.1 @xmath17 0.3 @xmath18 in sample x = 0.04 , about 4.5 @xmath17 0.5 @xmath18 in the one x = 0.10 .
we randomly selected 10 typical grains and analyzed the compositions on them.taking the sample with nominal zn=10% as an example , the sem image and edx analysis process were shown in fig.4 and table i. this fact indicates that the zn impurities have been successfully doped into the lattice , although the measured composition is lower than the nominal one .
above discussion can be corroborated by the characterization of the xrd data .
the xrd patterns for all samples were shown in fig.3(a ) and fig.3(b ) .
for mn - doped ones , one can see that the phase is rather clean and no impurities could be detected up to x=0.08 .
the lattice constants of a - axis and the cell volume increase monotonically with doping of mn ( as shown in fig.3(c ) ) , which indicates that the mn atoms were successfully introduced into the lattice . assuming that the mn ionic state is `` + 2 '' , since the ionic radius of mn@xmath19 ( 0.8 @xmath20 ) is bigger than that of fe@xmath19 ( 0.74 @xmath20 ) , it is understandable that the in - plane lattice constant expands and the unit cell volume increases about 1.6% . while for zn - doped samples , since the ionic radius for fe@xmath19 and zn@xmath19 are both 0.74 @xmath20 , therefore the distortion is much smaller , as evidenced by the slight increase of the unit cell volume ( 0.34% ) . in both systems
, it is found that the c - axis lattice constant does not change obviously compared to the a - axis lattice constant .
mn@xmath13)@xmath1as@xmath1 samples .
up to the doping level of 8% , the sample is still quite clean .
( b)the xrd data for samples ba(fe@xmath12zn@xmath13)@xmath1as@xmath1 samples .
slight impurity phase emerges when the nominal doping composition goes up to 8% .
( c ) and ( d ) show that the doping dependence of the a - axis and c - axis lattice constants , as well as the volume of unit cell .
one can see that the a - axis changes much larger in percentage compared with the c - axis lattice and the volume expansion is mainly dominated by the a - axis lattice constant.,width=302 ] .the energy dispersive x - ray ( edx ) analysis for zn - doped sample with x=0.1 . [
cols="^,^,^,^,^,^,^,^",options="header " , ] [ tab : table1 ] = @xmath21/h measured at 9 t for the undoped , three mn - doped and two zn - doped samples .
one can see that by doping more mn into the system the positive hall coefficient r@xmath22 becomes smaller , indicating the doping of holes into the system . while zn - doping does not change the hall coefficient too much .
( b ) mr of the mn - doped samples , a negative mr was observed here .
inset of ( b ) shows the temperature dependence of dc magnetization of the undoped , mn - doped and zn - doped sample .
the m(t ) relation can be described by the curie - weiss law ( see text ) . ,
width=302 ] and @xmath4 in mn- and zn - doped samples .
the suppression to t@xmath10 in mn - doped samples is drastic , but that by zn - doping is negligible .
the enhancement of @xmath4 is much weaker in the zn - doped sample as compared with the mn - doped one .
the blue dashed line indicates the t@xmath10-drop for the zn - doped samples if we adopt the simple relation @xmath23 and taking the same suppression rate of the mn - doped system.,width=302 ] it order to know what has been carried out microscopically through doping mn and zn in our samples , we measured the hall coefficient @xmath24 , magnetoresistance ( mr ) and dc magnetization .
as shown in fig.5(a ) , @xmath24 is positive in the undoped sample , indicating hole dominant conduction in ba@xmath0k@xmath0fe@xmath25as@xmath25 . as we dope mn into the sample and keep increasing the doped content , the r@xmath22 reduces systematically
this can be explained by introducing more holes into the system through mn - doping , though complexity will be brought in understanding the hall data of the multiband system.@xcite actually doping mn induces similar effect as doping cr.@xcite the temperature dependence of r@xmath22 is also shown for the zn doped sample ( x=0.06 , 0.08 ) in fig .
one can see that the data of zn - doped sample overlap roughly with the undoped one in a broad temperature region , indicating that the zn@xmath19 is almost identical to fe@xmath19 in donating electrons .
fig.5(b ) presents the mr of the mn - doped sample with x = 0.08 , a clear negative mr effect was observed at low temperatures .
this negative mr can be easily understood as due to the enhanced electron - spin scattering : doping mn induces more and more magnetic centers which have stronger magnetic moment compared to that of fe@xmath19 .
this argument is supported by the enhanced magnetic susceptibility in the mn - doped samples . as shown in the inset of fig.5(b ) , the temperature dependence of dc magnetization of the mn - doped sample can be described nicely by the curie - weiss law @xmath26 ) with @xmath27 , yielding @xmath28 = 0.482 @xmath6/(fe ) in the undoped sample , 0.645 @xmath6/(fe+mn ) in the mn - doped ( x=0.08 ) sample , 0.362 @xmath6/(fe+zn ) in the zn - doped ( x=0.04 ) sample . assuming that each fe - site has also 0.482 @xmath6 in the mn - doped sample , then each mn - site contributes about 2.58 @xmath6 .
zn - doped sample naturally lowers down the paramagnetic susceptibility , suggesting that nonmagnetic impurities have been formed .
although it is still under debate whether the af order is due to the localized moment or itinerant electrons , it is qualitatively correct to make an assessment that the increase of the value of constant `` @xmath29 '' in the curie - weiss law could be attributed to the enhancement of local magnetic moments upon mn - doping , this argument is also consistent with the negative magnetoresistivity data ( kondo - like scattering ) .
finally we summarize the main results in fig.6 . for mn - doped samples , as the doping concentration increases , @xmath11 decreases quickly with a rate of @xmath2/mn-@xmath3 = - 4.2 k , while for the zn - doped samples the variation of @xmath11 is rather small which could be termed as negligible . according to the abrikosov - gorkov formula,@xcite
if the impurities act as strong pair breakers , the t@xmath10 suppression due to pair breaking is essentially related to the impurity scattering rate @xmath30 , where @xmath4 is the residual resistivity and can be roughly expressed as @xmath31 in the single band description with @xmath32 the charge carrier density , @xmath33 the effective mass .
therefore we present also the doping dependence of @xmath4 in fig.6 .
the enhancement of @xmath4 is much stronger for the mn - doped samples compared with the zn - doped ones , which indicates different impurity scattering effects in the two sets of samples . for mn - doped samples
, the enhanced average magnetic moments could act as pair breakers and be responsible for the quick suppression of superconducting transition temperature , on the other hand the negative uniaxial chemical pressure effect along the a - axis ( according to the change of lattice constants ) may also have contributions on that . while for zn - doped samples the residue resistivity does not increases so much , therefore perhaps the impurity scattering by the zn impurities are mainly small angle scattering ( or small momentum transfer ) , therefore it can not break the interpocket scattering pairing .
this is understandable since the zn@xmath19 and fe@xmath19 have very similar ionic sizes .
one may argue that the weak suppression to t@xmath10 in the zn - doped samples is due to the weak impurity scattering effect ( which is actually also very intriguing ) , however , even taking this small change of @xmath4 in the zn - doped samples and assuming the same suppression rate @xmath34 of the mn - doped system , we should have a 3.4 k drop of t@xmath10 at the doping level of 10%-zn / fe .
as marked by the blue dashed line in fig.6 , this is still outer of the range of the data .
this result is consistent with the impurity scattering effect by doping other transition metals such as co and ni,@xcite rh , ir and pd to the fe sites,@xcite where no local strong magnetic moments have been detected and the superconductivity are rather robust together with quite strong impurity scattering , as indicated by the large residual resistivity and small residual resistivity ration ( rrr ) in these materials . the weak impurity scattering as well as
the pair breaking effect given by nonmagnetic disorders in iron pnictide may suggest that these dopants all act as impurity scatters with small momentum transfer . by changing the doping level ,
once these scattering vector in the momentum space is as large as the interpocket vector , we shall see a strong pair breaking effect , although it is non - magnetic .
it is very worthwhile to check this interesting scenario . before concluding the paper
, we should mention another interesting discovery in our data .
it is found that @xmath35/[\rho(300k , x)-\rho(0,x)]$ ] is doping independent in all temperature regions and all data with different doping levels can be nicely scaled ( see fig.7 ) .
this indicates that , in the single band approach , the @xmath36/[m^*(0)/\tau(0,t)n(0,t)e^2]$ ] is temperature independent .
regarding the similar temperature dependence of all the curves , we would assume that @xmath37 , therefore the temperature independent scaling is due to the electron - boson coupling strength @xmath38 in terms of the effective mass relation @xmath39 .
suppose that adding zn has two effects : ( 1 ) adding impurity scattering and ( 2 ) changing the coupling strength with spin fluctuations ( bosons here ) .
the latter assumption is pretty logical in view of the strong effect of zn on the magnetic properties of the parent compound .
if this is true , zn doping may enhance the superconducting pairing , but unfortunately it is offset by its pair - breaking effect as an impurity .
it is very worthwhile to check whether this scaling holds also in other systems . /[\rho(300k , x)-\rho(0,x)]$ ] for zn - doped samples with different doping levels , where @xmath40 represents the resistivity of the sample at temperature `` @xmath41 '' and with doping level `` @xmath42''.,width=302 ]
we fabricated and measured the resistivity , hall effect , magnetoresistance and dc magnetization in mn and zn doped ba@xmath0k@xmath0fe@xmath1as@xmath1 samples .
the mn - doping enhances the residual resistivity and suppresses the superconducting transition temperature drastically .
further analysis indicates that the mn - doping induces strong local magnetic moments ( @xmath5 2.58 @xmath6 ) which play as pair breakers .
the impurity scattering measured by the residual resistivity @xmath4 in the zn - doped samples is very weak , accompanied by a negligible suppression to t@xmath10 .
a possible explanation is that the impurity scattering by the zn impurities are mainly small angle scattering ( or small momentum transfer ) , therefore it can not break the pairing given by the interpocket scattering .
finally we found a scaling of the normal state resistivity : @xmath35/[\rho(300k , x)-\rho(0,x)]$ ] .
this is explained as the enhancement of the coupling strength between electrons and the spin fluctuations induced by the zn doping .
we appreciate the useful discussions with i. i. mazin , d .- h .
lee and g .-
this work is supported by the nsf of china , the ministry of science and technology of china ( 973 projects : 2006cb601000 , 2006cb921107 , 2006cb921802 ) , and chinese academy of sciences within the knowledge innovation programm .
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Calculating enthalpy per gram mole of oxygen bond in haemoglobin
>
> A solution of $\pu{5 g}$ of haemoglobin in $\pu{100 cm^3}$ of solution shows a temperature raise of $\pu{0.031 ^\circ C}$ for complete oxygenation. Each mole of haemoglobin binds $\pu{4 mol}$ of oxygen. If the heat capacity of the solution is $\pu{4.18 J K^{-1} cm^{-3}}$, calculate $\Delta H$ per g of oxygen bond.
>
>
>
Attempt:
* for $\pu{100 cc}$, heat capacity is $\pu{418 J K^{-1}}$
* for $\pu{\frac{5}{64000}mol}$ of haemoglobin, $C\Delta T=\pu{12.952 J}$ is released
* hence for $\pu{1 mol}$, $\pu{165862.4 J}$ energy is released
* This energy is released when four bonds are formed with oxygen. Hence for 1 bond, $\pu{41.47 kJ}$ energy is released.
The answer given in the book is $\pu{-41.47 kJ}$.
The heat flows from each Hb molecule during the reaction at constant p and T, so $q\_{p, rxn} = \Delta H\_{rxn}\cdot\Delta X$.
The energy of the reaction is $\Delta H\_{rxn}$ as per mole of reaction.
The reaction itself is Hb + 4O$\_{2}\rightarrow$ Hb$\cdot$(O$\_{2}$)$\_{4}$.
The reaction is exothermic.
The number of moles of Hb present is $$n\_{\rm Hb} = {5\over 64,000} = 0.078\;{\rm mmol},$$
all of which reacts: $\Delta X = -\Delta\,n\_{\rm Hb} = n\_{\rm Hb}$.
That much heat raises the temperature of the water (assuming all the heat is contained in the water):
$$0 = \Delta H\_{\rm water} + q\_{p, rxn} = C\_{p}\Delta T + q\_{p, rxn}$$
from which it follows that
$$q\_{p, rxn} = -C\_{p}\Delta T = -100\times 4.18\times 0.031 = -13\;{\rm J}$$
and
$$\Delta H\_{rxn} = {q\_{p}\over\Delta X} = {-13\;{\rm J}\over 0.078\;{\rm mmol}}= -167\;{{\rm kJ}\over{\rm mol-rxn}}$$
There are 4 moles of O$\_{2}$ used so
$$\nu\_{\rm O\_{2}} = 4\;{{\rm O\_{2}}\over{\rm rxn}}$$
and on an oxygen basis
$$\Delta H\_{rxn} = -42\;{\rm kJ}$$
| stackexchange/chemistry |
Yonder: The Cloud Catcher Chronicles Review
Indie dev's cutesy farming-come-adventure game is definitely worth a look
1st August, 2017 By Sarah Morris
Game Info // Yonder: The Cloud Catcher Chronicles
Publisher: Merge Games
Developer: Prideful Sloth
Available On: PS4, PC
Every so often, a game comes along that you really struggle to put down. For us, Yonder: The Cloud Catcher Chronicles is that game. Providing a dangerous mix of Harvest Moon-esque farming, collectables galore and open-world exploration that we find very hard to put down, this is a game that's sucked up our free time like nothing else. Much like when we first got stuck into The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, where we spent days doing nothing but picking flowers, "borrowing" cutlery from people's houses and using our ill-gotten funds to buy horses and houses, we've ended up spending most of our time here searching for Yonder's lost cat population. A noble cause perhaps, but maybe not the most productive when you have a review deadline looming.
Yonder combines two of our major weaknesses - dressing up and cats.
Yonder: The Cloud Catcher Chronicles begins in dramatic fashion, when you set out on a voyage back to your homeland, only to end up sinking in a storm just before you reach the shore. Dragging yourself out of the big blue wet thing, you set foot upon your home island of Gemea to find it's been taken over by a shadowy purple smog known as 'the Murk', cutting off whole areas from each other and causing chaos for the locals. Fortunately, you have the unique power of the 'Sprite-Seer', which lets you find and collect little fairy-like creatures known as Sprites, which serve as your number one weapon against the aforementioned Murk. By borrowing their powers, you can clear the island of the Murk, and prevent any more leaking out by rebuilding the titular Cloud Catcher, hopefully restoring Gemea to its former glory in the process.
Giving you a huge world chock-full of things to find and do, Yonder: The Cloud Catcher Chronicles is Harvest Moon meets Zelda (kind of) - with snow-capped mountains, hidden caves and sprawling fields to explore, animals to adopt and raise, and crops to grow, along with umpteen quests to lend a hand with along the way. There's elements of Minecraft here too, with a robust crafting system that sees you making everything from earmuffs and raincoats, to fish and chips and berry pie, to stone bridges and animal shelters from the raw materials you find on your travels. Admittedly, it's a lot more of an open world adventure than it is a farming game, but that's not necessarily a bad thing either, as the world really is jam-packed with things to keep you busy.
You'll smash up A LOT of rocks during your time in Yonder.
Starting out with just a single Sprite at your disposal, you'll soon find patches of the dreaded Murk that require more magic than a lone Sprite can muster - as such, one of your key objectives in Yonder is to track down extra Sprites, which have hidden themselves all across the island to escape the encroaching purple smog. Sometimes hiding in a bush, sometimes sitting atop a mountain or sometimes only appearing when you position some statues just right, hunting out all 26 Sprites is a surprisingly lengthy endeavour, especially as freeing up each new patch of Murk will open up new areas to scour.
In order to repair the aforementioned Cloud Catcher - a device that helps filter out the Murk from the air at source - you'll need to learn to craft across a whole host of different disciplines, as well as enlisting the help of the ancestors of the master craftsfolk who built the original contraption. Crafting is a big thing in the world of Yonder, and each little village you stumble on has its own favourite trade you can learn the ways of, be it a chef, tailor or carpenter. This is where the Minecraft aspect comes in, as you'll need to harvest the raw materials you need for each item from the wilderness, whether it's chopping down trees for the wood needed to make a shelter for that Sprig-Pig you want to adopt, or breaking up stones in order to build a bridge over a river. As you work your way through each discipline's guild quests, you'll unlock new recipes, many of which will work their way into the various quests you'll come across.
Joining the carpenter's guild involved an awful lot of wood puns...
Easily one of the highlights of the game are the quests you'll come across during your travels - while a fair few do come under standard fetch quest territory, tasking you with finding someone a handful of sticks, or a bottle of 'Festival Juice' and the like, there are some more creative, unusual and entertaining ones thrown in for good measure. One early one saw us helping an old guy find his lost Bambex (essentially a deer with horns of epic proportions) - yet every identical-looking Bambex we coaxed over to him had something wrong with it. Hooves too shiny, horns too pointy; his list of reasons why that wasn't his Bambex was about as long as the chuffing creatures' horns, until you eventually stumble on the correct one. A bit further through the game, the locals asked you to investigate a ghost in a nearby cavern, because they're all too chicken to enter - a ghost which turns out to be a senile old man's wailing Groffle (a kind of moose-y cow), Betsy, who'd been hiding inside since the Murk first appeared, quite a few years ago. There's also a lady whose Groffle herd keep running away whenever it's 'tea party dress up' time, a stylish scarecrow who wants a fabulous new outfit for every season, and a wannabe comedienne travelling the world looking for an epic joke.
We were ready to throttle this grandpa by the end of the quest...
Sprites aren't the only thing you can collect in Yonder either - in fact, for completionists, it's a veritable treasure trove of things to find and do. There's umpteen lost cats to find, several constellations to spot, various animals and fish to find and catch, and more outfits and accessories to adorn your avatar than you can shake a (well-dressed) stick at. Sage Stones - large stone faces that act as portals between the different regions - need to be found and unlocked too, usually by completing a quick quest for them. Even the Murk clouds serve as a collectable of sorts, with each region having a number of patches you need to clear away, with each requiring a different number of Sprites.
However, if you were hoping for a Harvest Moon-style farming game, that's perhaps the only area you may be disappointed with in Yonder: The Cloud Catcher Chronicles, as the farming here is very much on the 'lite' side - really, there's not a lot to do on your little plot of land besides stop by from time to time to clear up poop. Animals are earned by finding a suitable wild beast and feeding it its favourite food, at which point it will follow you for a short distance - keep topping your Grass Fox (an adorable, red panda-like creature) up with Fodder, and you'll eventually get it to the gates of your little farmstead, where you can make it your own. As long as you've built enough shelters, a water trough and a food trough, animals are largely autonomous, and even go so far as depositing their produce in a box out front for your convenience. Plants are even less demanding - just pop one in the ground and walk away; return a little while later and you'll have berries, potatoes and the like with next to no work on your part. If anything, the best use for your farm - especially once you start to open up the other plots in the other regions - is as an overflow for your inventory; items you deposit in the storage box in one location can be picked up in other locations via some crazy game wizardry. This means that you needn't worry too much about what to take with you on your explorations, especially as you'll likely find yourself being asked to craft something that relies on the raw materials you stashed away earlier.
Farming can be a useful source of the rarer materials, such as Groffle Milk.
Our only real gripe - and it's a relatively minor one at that - is that, for a game built so heavily on exploration, the map isn't particularly good. Along the way, you'll sometimes find yourself building bridges to cross canyons and rivers, but these never get added to the map, so you often find yourself running around aimlessly looking for the bridge you're sure you built but can't find. And, as we're hopelessly bad at following a map on a good day, the fact the game plots your path to your next quest as the crow flies rather than taking into account the lay of the land often scuppered us, as we found ourselves boxed in by cliffs mere steps from our objective, forcing us to head miles out of our way to get back on track. Unlocking the aforementioned Sage Stones, which give you some much-needed shortcuts between the regions, does help somewhat, but we do find they're not necessarily in the most convenient of locations either.
We really do like Yonder: The Cloud Catcher Chronicles - it's a laid back, collectable-filled world that we can just do our own thing in, full of quirky characters and quests to complete. Full of charm, cute creatures and oodles of things to keep you busy, those looking for a nice relaxing game devoid of any combat really should look it up. Also it has collectable cats - and that can't be a bad thing.
Yonder-ful!
Tons to find and do
Some entertaining quests
Solid crafting system
Could have a better map
Keeping track of what material comes from what can be tricky
Bridges take A LOT of materials...
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The Thomas Hospital Foundation board pictured front row left to right: Scott Friedman, MD; Emily Henderson; Robin Coleman; Jason Gross; Deanna Auner; Amy Hollimon, PhD; Sadie Cooper; Russell Buster; Ashley Lieb; and Leighton Mosteller. Back row left to right: Greg Gipson; Gary Cowles; Derek Thomas; Kerry O'Connor; Champ Meyercord; Nick Wilmott; Tom Gulledge; Chase Chandler; and Coley Boone. Not pictured: Thomas Gross; Becca Helton; Jessica Jones, MD; Hoss Mack; Tim Simmonds; and Ty Thompson.
The Thomas Hospital Foundation was created in 1993 to raise funds to help Thomas Hospital provide exceptional healthcare for the community.
The Foundation has funded digital mammography, high definition laparoscopic surgical equipment, a heart catheterization lab devoted to electrophysiology study of the heart and raised $5 million to bring open heart surgery to Baldwin County in 1999. The Foundation funded the major portion of the cardiac rehabilitation facility on Nichols Avenue, as well as all the equipment for the new emergency department. Most recently, the Foundation raised $6 million to help build a new state-of-the-art Birth Center to meet the needs of the rapidly growing population. | slim_pajama |
in table [ table : config ] , we show the hilbert spaces for the different lattice sizes that we can study at quarter filling and at half - filling . at quarter - filling ,
the hilbert spaces for @xmath78 and @xmath79 are very small and , as shown in the next section , exhibit erratic behavior .
therefore , in the main text we have focused on the lattices with @xmath21 and 12 .
p0.25p0.25p0.25r @xmath2 & @xmath80 & @xmath81 & @xmath82 + [ 0.5ex ] 6 & 3 & @xmath83 & 90 + 8 & 4 & 0 & 784 + 10 & 5 & @xmath83 & 5400 + 12 & 6 & 0 & 48400 + + 8 & 8 & 0 & 4900 + 10 & 10 & 0 & 63504 + [ table : config ]
while the extended hubbard model in eq .
( 1 ) is non - integrable for nonzero @xmath84 , in our lattice geometry ( which has open boundary conditions ) there are still two symmetries , parity and @xmath85 when @xmath86 , that need to be removed for the level spacing in the system to exhibit a wigner - dyson distribution .
this is achieved using the symmetry breaking terms described under @xmath87 . for a chain with @xmath88 ( a ) and @xmath47 ( b ) , in the absence of disorder . in both cases @xmath89 and the average is computed over the central half of the spectrum . ]
figure [ fig : hmuborder_analysis ] shows the dependence of the average ratio of adjacent energy gaps for two values of @xmath4 and different lattice sizes ( in the absence of disorder ) . for simplicity , we have selected @xmath33 , and , as in the main text , @xmath90 . also , to avoid larger finite size effects related to the low and high energy edges of the spectrum ,
the averages are calculated over the central half of the spectrum . due to the smallness of their hilbert spaces , the systems with @xmath78 and @xmath91
exhibit very large fluctuations in fig .
[ fig : hmuborder_analysis ] ( this is the reason they were not shown in the main text ) . for very small and very large values of @xmath33 , one can see that the average ratio of adjacent energy gaps is consistent with that of a poisson distribution . for small values of @xmath33 ,
the reason are the symmetries mentioned above while , for large values of @xmath33 , the reason is that the sites with the fields decouple from the rest of the chain .
it is apparent in fig .
[ fig : hmuborder_analysis ] that , as the system size increases , the strength of the symmetry breaking terms required to produce a distribution of level spacings that is consistent with the wigner - dyson distribution decreases .
hence , for thermodynamically large systems , arbitrary weak symmetry breaking fields would be required . for the results reported in the main text , we use values of @xmath92 in the range
@xmath93 $ ] .
the largest values of the breaking field were necessary in the limit of weak on - site interactions , as the system approached the noninteracting ( integrable ) limit .
, for @xmath47 , in systems at quarter filling ( a ) and half filling ( b ) . in both cases , @xmath89 , @xmath94 is computed over the central half of the spectrum , and @xmath95 is an average computed over random phases @xmath15 . ]
we have also studied the mbl transition in the presence of a quasi - periodic potential with @xmath12 , where @xmath13 is the potential strength , @xmath14 is the golden ratio , and @xmath15 is an arbitrary phase that we use to generate different realizations of \{@xmath96 } ( we take @xmath97 $ ] with a uniform distribution ) . for this quasi - periodic potential ,
unlike for the anderson case , localization in the noninteracting limit occurs only for @xmath98 ( in units of @xmath16 ) . as for the disordered case , the phase diagram for this potential reported in fig .
1(e ) was obtained via an analysis of the average ratio of adjacent energy gaps ( see fig . [
fig : aubry_andre_level_spacing ] ) .
this phase diagram was explored experimentally in a recent optical lattice experiment @xcite .
figure [ fig : aubry_andre_level_spacing ] reports the equivalent of fig .
1(a)1(d ) in the main text but for the quasi - periodic potential when the system is at quarter filling [ ( a)(d ) ] and at half - filling [ ( e)(h ) ] . in the latter case ,
the value of @xmath13 required to drive the mbl transition is slightly larger in comparison to the former case .
this is understandable as @xmath4 plays an increasingly important role with increasing the filling .
we expect a similar behavior to occur in the presence of disorder .
namely , @xmath34 at half - filling should be larger than at quarter filling , which was the case discussed in the main text .
other quantum chaos indicators that can be used to locate the ergodic to mbl transition are the shannon entropy , also known as the information entropy , @xmath99 and the inverse participation ratio ( ipr ) , @xmath100 where @xmath82 is the dimension of the hilbert space , and the coefficients @xmath101 correspond to the @xmath102-th component of the energy eigenvector @xmath56 in some basis . here
, we use the computational ( fock ) basis .
as one increases the system size in the ergodic ( chaotic ) regime , one expects @xmath103 to approach the gaussian orthogonal ensemble ( goe ) prediction @xmath104 , provided @xmath56 is away from the edges of the spectrum @xcite . for @xmath105
one expects that it should approach @xmath106 .
figure [ fig : entropy_ipr ] shows that , when @xmath64 and 2 for @xmath23 , both @xmath103 and @xmath105 are indeed close to the goe predictions away from the edges of the spectrum . for @xmath67 and 30 , on the other hand , localization in the fock basis is made apparent by the small values of @xmath103 and @xmath105 over the entire spectrum . in fig .
[ fig : obs_spectrum_suppl ] , we show the energy eigenstate expectation values of another observable that is of interest to experiments with ultracold fermions in optical lattices , namely , the double occupancy : @xmath107 . the results for this observable are qualitatively similar to those discussed in the main text ( see fig . 4 there ) for the imbalance , the kinetic energy , and the structure factor . | arxiv |
in order to have sustainable developments in today 's competitive field , all the public and private organizations need a sort of performance evaluation system and a quality control through which they could measure the efficiency and effectiveness of their programs and human resources .
the customer is referred to with different terms in the literature of modern management science , such as partner , boss , capital , and profit , and the ultimate outcomes of the whole activities of the organizations are apparent through his judgment .
it is the customer who evaluates the quality of products and the services of the organizations and makes them to compete against each other . on the other hand , customer focus means presenting information to customer in the whole organization , categorizing strategies and tactics to meet practically the market needs , and gaining a public commitment feeling to fulfill the decided programs . in other words ,
customer focus is a sort of organizational culture that leads to the creation of customers best value in the most efficient and effective manner . and
finally , we can say that customer focus is a set of beliefs which give a preference to the customer 's benefits over the other beneficiaries such as organization owners , managers , and the staff in order to create a profitable firm . in spite of severe competition dominating the world 's economy , providing the customers with more services and quality improving
are not considered to be an added value anymore , but they are undeniable necessities . in this regard , in higher education , which is one of the most significant foundations for education , development , and human resource provision and which plays the most important part in all the developments in every country , the process of structural changes has begun decades ago . population growth , extension of elementary and secondary public education , and growing of the middle class have increasingly boosted demands for university entrance . therefore more institutes and universities because of population growth are needed .
today , the private interests accompanying national universities have ventured to provide education because of increasing and various demands for education .
different universities ( payame noor , non - profit universities , islamic azad university , applied sciences university , university of applied science ) try to attract more customers into their systems to gain benefits offered by government and applicants .
a university which is aware of its customers needs would be the winner of this conflict .
it means that the university should be a so - called customer focus .
hence , universities must comprehensively measure their customer - related important results and also determine what results they have achieved in relation to their customers .
the reason is that the students are important elements and the main addressees of higher education . for the time being , the students viewpoints are considered as an essential factor in quality monitoring at universities all over the world .
students as applicants and clients of higher education can play an important part in evaluating education quality as well as educational services .
universities do not have fixed customers ; those who are customers now will not be the same customers later .
. showed that the customer focus rate based on the students viewpoint was less than average in faculty of agriculture in shahid chamran university of ahvaz and ramin university of agriculture and natural resources .
furthermore , in a survey of students satisfaction , izadi et al . showed that approximately 40% of samples were satisfied by the provided educational services , and the university of mazandaran had a mean of 49.11% considering its customer focus . in their study of quality evaluation of educational centers services of payame noor universities of east and west azerbaijan provinces , zavvar et al .
showed that the students were not satisfied with the quality of educational centers services and also the total students perception mean was 2.68% ( below the average ) and their expectation value was 4.44% ( too high ) .
lots of researches have been carried out about the quality of higher education by well - known institutes in england , australia , norway , america , and other countries .
some special environmental conditions in higher education in england made it essential to have an effective quality management .
these conditions can be mentioned as : increasing conditions for greater accountability , student numbers rise , growing diversity of student population and consequently participatory innovation development and seeking for international tools , resource reduction for educational programs , students high expectations as customers , more flexible educational conditions both in undergraduate and graduate levels , and increased cooperation between institutes . in spite of these facts , tom and cheng
believe that the quality of education is difficult to achieve and also it is a multi - dimensional concept and somewhat ambiguous ; also , at the broadest level of education , it is a set of input , process , and output elements of education system and it provides some services , but does not completely cover the inner and outer strategic competencies by meeting implicit and explicit needs . if we consider higher education as a system , every quality management program should assess the inputs , processes , and outcomes .
so , today 's challenges of quality and customer focus improvement and systems development in higher education are important and inevitable
. responses to social needs , increased educational spending , diversity in educational methods and centers and their consequent increasing competition , and the need for adaptation of new information and knowledge to focus on students as the main customers are some highly competitive challenges among educational institutes .
therefore , universities are widely regarded as the spot where students show compliance with modern requirements and needs .
our country 's universities , especially the medical sciences ones , need to strongly consider the quality development during processes , operations , and affairs in order to maintain and promote eligibility in a competitive environment which improves the quality and quantity of students education that will run the future 's health care system .
one of the effective ways in this regard is entering the path to excellence and improvement through performing superior models , especially customer focus - based ones .
hence , the purpose of this study was to determine the rate of costumer focus , based on isfahan university of medical sciences students viewpoints and to suggest solutions to improve this rate .
the statistical population included all the students of seven faculties of isfahan university of medical sciences . according to statistical formulae , the sample size consisted of 366 subjects .
data collection tools included a researcher - made questionnaire , the face and content validity of which was tested throughout several stages according to the opinions of some experts and learning management , education sciences , and quality management professors , and finally the questionnaire was approved . determining the reliability of the questionnaire
was done through a pilot study with 30 subjects and its cronbach 's alpha coefficient was 87% . based on likert scale , scoring was done varying from completely agree to completely disagree between 0 and 4 points and then it was graded on a scale of 0100 .
the questionnaires were distributed as simple random sampling among different fields of studies in faculties . finally , using spss software , descriptive statistics ( frequency percent , mean , etc . ) and inferential statistics [ independent t - test and analysis of variance ( anova ) significance test ] of data were analyzed .
according to the results , the gender distribution of the considered samples was 61.2% females and 38.8% males .
moreover , frequency distribution of educational level of samples was 39.6% bs students , 4.4% ms students , and 56% md students .
frequency distribution of the students consisted of the maximum students in medicine faculty ( 43.5% ) and the minimum students in rehabilitation faculty ( 6% ) . finally , after analyzing the data , based on table 1 , the mean of overall score for customer focus ( student - centered ) is shown in figure 1 .
determining relation between the overall score for customer focus and examined demographic factors the mean of overall score for customer focus ( studentcentered ) from students viewpoints in faculties the mean of overall score for customer focus ( student - centered ) from students viewpoints had the maximum score ( 50.21 ) in health faculty and the least score in nursing faculty ( 42.01 ) . finally , the isfahan university of medical sciences had a mean of overall score of 46.54 for customer .
the research hypotheses including a relation between the mean of overall score for customer focus and gender , educational levels , and students faculties are examined in these table and figure .
there was a meaningful relation between gender and their overall score for customer focus ( student - centered ) ( p=0.001 ) and it was more in females ( 48.53 ) than in males ( 43.41).there was a meaningful relation between students educational level and their overall score for customer focus ( student - centered ) ( p=0.003 ) .
the ms level had the highest score ( 50.21 ) and the bs level had the lowest ( 43.77 ) scorethere was a meaningful relation between students faculties and their overall score for customer focus ( student - centered ) ( p=0.017 ) .
it had the highest score in faculty of health ( 50.21 ) and the lowest in faculty of nursing ( 42.01 ) [ table 1 ] .
there was a meaningful relation between gender and their overall score for customer focus ( student - centered ) ( p=0.001 ) and it was more in females ( 48.53 ) than in males ( 43.41 ) .
there was a meaningful relation between students educational level and their overall score for customer focus ( student - centered ) ( p=0.003 ) .
the ms level had the highest score ( 50.21 ) and the bs level had the lowest ( 43.77 ) score there was a meaningful relation between students faculties and their overall score for customer focus ( student - centered ) ( p=0.017 ) .
it had the highest score in faculty of health ( 50.21 ) and the lowest in faculty of nursing ( 42.01 ) [ table 1 ] .
higher education is considered to be one of the most remarkable institutes in every country .
it is a demanding task to manage higher education affairs because of its great importance .
higher education deals with human beings and they are not like objects to have the quality of plasticity to be easily made into different shapes . furthermore , the assessment of humans is a big enterprise .
man is faced with an environment of changes which will shape his behavior very often and especially university students tend to perceive everything in an ideal world . moreover , graduate unemployment found in every part of the country can negatively affect the survey of customer focus rating in higher education . for many years , isfahan university of medical sciences , as an able institute of the country 's healthcare , has trained many students in order to develop the health services of the country and isfahan province .
it is too difficult to evaluate the extent of isfahan university of medical sciences success , but the students are the present university customers and they would be the future health system managers , so they can be requested to help improve the university in order to develop the country . considering the above - mentioned facts , the following results were achieved in accordance with the research goals which will be discussed later :
the mean of overall score for customer focus ( student - centered ) from the students viewpoints was the highest in faculty of health ( 50.21 ) and the lowest in faculty of nursing ( 42.01 ) .
finally , the mean of overall score for customer focus was 46.54 in isfahan university of medical sciences.in this regard , it was shown in a survey that the rate of customer focus based on the students viewpoints in faculty of agriculture in shahid chamran university of ahvaz was 31.79% . besides , the rate of customer focus was calculated to be 33.51% based on the students viewpoints in ramin university of agriculture and natural resources .
poor facilities in the above - mentioned universities are some of the reasons which affect the rate of customer focus from students viewpoints in comparison with universities of -medical sciences .
furthermore , in a case study conducted in mazandaran university , the students satisfaction was examined according to the efqm model of customer criteria .
results showed that nearly 40% of the participants were satisfied with the educational services and the mean of customer focus was about 49.11% .
it can be concluded that there is an approximately equal ratio between the satisfied and unsatisfied subjects , which is compatible with our results .
analyzing the data obtained in evaluation of the quality of educational services in payame noor university across east and west azerbaijan indicates a negative mean for students perception gap and their expectations of the quality of educational centers services in all components and aspects of the model .
t test has shown the meaningful ( =0.001 ) and it suggests it suggests that students are not satisfied with the quality of educational centers services in payame noor university . at the same time , the overall mean of students perception was 2.68 ( below average ) and their expectations mean was 4.44% ( too high ) .
the above results are not compatible with ours , and according to the evidences , we can mention the reasons as poor quality of faculty members , facilities , teaching methods , and educational processes . in this field , special environmental conditions in higher education have demanded an efficient quality management in england .
these conditions include : increasing conditions for greater accountability , student numbers rise , growing diversity of student population and consequently participatory innovation development and seeking for international tools , resource reduction for educational programs , students high expectations as customers , more flexible educational conditions both in undergraduate and graduate levels , and increased cooperation between institutes . in spite of these facts , tom and cheng believe that the quality of education is difficult to achieve and also it is a multi - dimensional concept and somewhat ambiguous . at the broadest level of education ,
it is a set of input , process , and output elements of education system , and it provides some services , but does not completely cover the inner and outer strategic competencies by meeting implicit and explicit needs . if we consider higher education as a system , every quality management program should assess the inputs , processes , and outcomes .
the reason why the faculty of heath has the highest mean of overall score for customer focus ( 50.21 ) from the students viewpoints is that there are enough facilities for students such as typing and duplicating units , cafeterias , elevators , etc .
moreover , the faculty officials highly make any attempt to assist the students and departments emphasize the importance of qualitative work to improve the educational levels ; teaching methods are in conformity with the course contents ; the faculty members are available most of the time and they properly devote themselves to the students ; the remarkable features of different fields of study are clarified to tempt and motivate the students ; teaching methods are consistent with students previous knowledge and other qualities ; and courses are designed to suit the needs of society ; and so on , whereas the above - mentioned factors are less obvious ones in the faculty of nursing .
what follows is the discussion of research hypotheses :
the mean of overall score for customer focus ( student - centered ) from the students viewpoints was the highest in faculty of health ( 50.21 ) and the lowest in faculty of nursing ( 42.01 ) . finally , the mean of overall score for customer focus was 46.54 in isfahan university of medical sciences . in this regard ,
it was shown in a survey that the rate of customer focus based on the students viewpoints in faculty of agriculture in shahid chamran university of ahvaz was 31.79% . besides
, the rate of customer focus was calculated to be 33.51% based on the students viewpoints in ramin university of agriculture and natural resources .
poor facilities in the above - mentioned universities are some of the reasons which affect the rate of customer focus from students viewpoints in comparison with universities of -medical sciences .
furthermore , in a case study conducted in mazandaran university , the students satisfaction was examined according to the efqm model of customer criteria .
results showed that nearly 40% of the participants were satisfied with the educational services and the mean of customer focus was about 49.11% .
it can be concluded that there is an approximately equal ratio between the satisfied and unsatisfied subjects , which is compatible with our results .
analyzing the data obtained in evaluation of the quality of educational services in payame noor university across east and west azerbaijan indicates a negative mean for students perception gap and their expectations of the quality of educational centers services in all components and aspects of the model .
t test has shown the meaningful ( =0.001 ) and it suggests it suggests that students are not satisfied with the quality of educational centers services in payame noor university . at the same time , the overall mean of students perception was 2.68 ( below average ) and their expectations mean was 4.44% ( too high ) .
the above results are not compatible with ours , and according to the evidences , we can mention the reasons as poor quality of faculty members , facilities , teaching methods , and educational processes . in this field , special environmental conditions in higher education have demanded an efficient quality management in england .
these conditions include : increasing conditions for greater accountability , student numbers rise , growing diversity of student population and consequently participatory innovation development and seeking for international tools , resource reduction for educational programs , students high expectations as customers , more flexible educational conditions both in undergraduate and graduate levels , and increased cooperation between institutes . in spite of these facts , tom and cheng
believe that the quality of education is difficult to achieve and also it is a multi - dimensional concept and somewhat ambiguous . at the broadest level of education , it is a set of input , process , and output elements of education system , and it provides some services , but does not completely cover the inner and outer strategic competencies by meeting implicit and explicit needs .
if we consider higher education as a system , every quality management program should assess the inputs , processes , and outcomes .
the reason why the faculty of heath has the highest mean of overall score for customer focus ( 50.21 ) from the students viewpoints is that there are enough facilities for students such as typing and duplicating units , cafeterias , elevators , etc .
moreover , the faculty officials highly make any attempt to assist the students and departments emphasize the importance of qualitative work to improve the educational levels ; teaching methods are in conformity with the course contents ; the faculty members are available most of the time and they properly devote themselves to the students ; the remarkable features of different fields of study are clarified to tempt and motivate the students ; teaching methods are consistent with students previous knowledge and other qualities ; and courses are designed to suit the needs of society ; and so on , whereas the above - mentioned factors are less obvious ones in the faculty of nursing .
what follows is the discussion of research hypotheses :
there was a meaningful relation between gender and their overall score for customer focus ( student - centered ) ( p=0.001 ) and it was more in females ( 48.53 ) than in males ( 43.41).in this regard , students gender did not make any difference in the state of quality of services considering the study of valuation of the quality of educational centers services of payame noor university in east and west azerbaijan .
besides , results show that there was no relation between the students gender ( male and female ) and the quality of the services in payame noor university of azerbaijan , and the comparison of service quality gap was meaningful in t - test .
. showed in their studies that gender is not a determining factor in satisfying the students .
obviously , according to the performed surveys , gender has not been a determining factor in the rate of quality and customer focus in universities .
evidences show that it may be possible to find this inconsistency between isfahan university of medical sciences and other universities due to the nature of practice and training of medical sciences universities wherein females practice more eagerly and accurately than males do .
more researches are required to support this claim.there was a meaningful relation between students educational level and their overall score for customer focus ( student - centered ) ( p=0.003 ) , and the ms level had the highest score ( 53.65 ) and the bs level had the lowest score ( 43.77).regarding this result and according to the surveys of customer focus rate based on the students viewpoints in faculty of agriculture in shahid chamran university of ahvaz and ramin university of agriculture and natural resources , there was a positive and meaningful correlation ( p=0.05 ) between students educational levels and viewpoints and customer focus in both the universities , and it implies more desirable viewpoints of the ms students which is incompatible with our survey .
furthermore , tan and kak have reported a high and positive relation between educational levels and even graduated students .
the reason why most ms students were more satisfied with customer focus is that their number was less than bs students and more facilities and educational opportunities were available to them .
but the study of quality evaluation of educational centers services of payame noor universities of east and west azerbaijan provinces shows that there is no relation between students educational level and the quality of services.there was a meaningful relation between students faculties and their overall score for customer focus ( student - centered ) ( p=0.017 ) , and it had the highest score in faculty of health ( 50.21 ) and the lowest in faculty of nursing ( 42.01).in this regard , in the case study of mazandaran university , a relation was found between students faculties and their customer focus score ( 0.01 ) , and the faculty of law had the maximum score for customer focus ( 49.72 ) . besides , to find out the rate of customer focus according to faculties in ahvaz and ramin universities , the meaningful difference ( 0.001 ) between students customer focus score from their viewpoints shows differences in faculties .
besides , there was a meaningful difference between the score of customer focus from students viewpoints and that of departments in both universities , which indicates students viewpoints . the departments of both universities , which indicates students different needs in different fields and departments and it is different even in faculties . in the study of quality evaluation of educational centers services of payame noor universities of east and west azerbaijan provinces ,
only computer students dissatisfaction in comparison to other students was meaningful in multivariate analysis of variance ( manova ) .
therefore , each faculty must separately identify their students requirements and shortcomings regarding different aspects of customer focus and try to fix them .
the faculties should not impose their solutions on others since the survey results stipulate that faculties and departments have their own customer focus .
there was a meaningful relation between gender and their overall score for customer focus ( student - centered ) ( p=0.001 ) and it was more in females ( 48.53 ) than in males ( 43.41 ) . in this
regard , students gender did not make any difference in the state of quality of services considering the study of valuation of the quality of educational centers services of payame noor university in east and west azerbaijan .
besides , results show that there was no relation between the students gender ( male and female ) and the quality of the services in payame noor university of azerbaijan , and the comparison of service quality gap was meaningful in t - test .
. showed in their studies that gender is not a determining factor in satisfying the students . obviously , according to the performed surveys , gender has not been a determining factor in the rate of quality and customer focus in universities .
evidences show that it may be possible to find this inconsistency between isfahan university of medical sciences and other universities due to the nature of practice and training of medical sciences universities wherein females practice more eagerly and accurately than males do .
there was a meaningful relation between students educational level and their overall score for customer focus ( student - centered ) ( p=0.003 ) , and the ms level had the highest score ( 53.65 ) and the bs level had the lowest score ( 43.77 ) . regarding this result and according to the surveys of customer focus rate based on the students viewpoints in faculty of agriculture in shahid chamran university of ahvaz and ramin university of agriculture and natural resources
, there was a positive and meaningful correlation ( p=0.05 ) between students educational levels and viewpoints and customer focus in both the universities , and it implies more desirable viewpoints of the ms students which is incompatible with our survey . furthermore , tan and kak have reported a high and positive relation between educational levels and even graduated students .
the reason why most ms students were more satisfied with customer focus is that their number was less than bs students and more facilities and educational opportunities were available to them .
but the study of quality evaluation of educational centers services of payame noor universities of east and west azerbaijan provinces shows that there is no relation between students educational level and the quality of services .
there was a meaningful relation between students faculties and their overall score for customer focus ( student - centered ) ( p=0.017 ) , and it had the highest score in faculty of health ( 50.21 ) and the lowest in faculty of nursing ( 42.01 ) . in this regard , in the case study of mazandaran university , a relation was found between students faculties and their customer focus score ( 0.01 ) , and the faculty of law had the maximum score for customer focus ( 49.72 ) .
besides , to find out the rate of customer focus according to faculties in ahvaz and ramin universities , the meaningful difference ( 0.001 ) between students customer focus score from their viewpoints shows differences in faculties . besides , there was a meaningful difference between the score of customer focus from students viewpoints and that of departments in both universities , which indicates students viewpoints .
the departments of both universities , which indicates students different needs in different fields and departments and it is different even in faculties . in the study of quality evaluation of educational centers services of payame noor universities of east and west azerbaijan provinces ,
only computer students dissatisfaction in comparison to other students was meaningful in multivariate analysis of variance ( manova ) .
therefore , each faculty must separately identify their students requirements and shortcomings regarding different aspects of customer focus and try to fix them .
the faculties should not impose their solutions on others since the survey results stipulate that faculties and departments have their own customer focus .
according to astin , it is essential to consider the effect of institute on the students when the performance of higher education is evaluated because the institute gains its actual superiority through influencing the students . in order to create a shift in their lives positively , the top institutes can mostly influence the students progress in science and individuality , which is consistent with our survey considering the customer focus standards .
on the other hand , today 's challenges of quality improvement and customer focus as well as systems development are important and inevitable matters in higher education institutes
. there are some highly competitive challenges among educational institutes including accountability to social needs , increasing costs of education , diversity in educational methods and centers and their consequent increasing competition , and the need for adaptation of new information and knowledge .
therefore , universities are widely regarded as the spot where students show compliance with modern requirements and needs .
iranian country universities need to strongly consider the quality development during processes , operations , and affairs in order to maintain and promote eligibility in a competitive environment . in order to direct the improvement of educational processes toward customer focus in universities
, the evaluation process is needed to highlight the strengths and weaknesses of the program through corrective action procedures .
it will lead to quality improvement and increased profitability . according to direct and indirect inference of the findings of this survey and those related to customer focus questions in the questionnaire ,
the following recommendations are presented in order to improve customer focus in universities : despite all existing limitations , internal evaluation conducted by university departments has led them to use interactive models and mechanisms in planning to improve the level .
the university should consider students as educational programs consumers and their demands should be dealt with this process .
, the university should incorporate other customers ( parents , the students of other faculties , etc . ) within .
the remarkable features of different fields of study should be clarified to tempt and motivate the students .
the department 's goals should be congruent with social needs in different fields as well as with individual needs and students expectations .
students should be sufficiently informed about the nature of different fields and it 's mission .
faculty members should properly devote their time to students and they should be available most of the time .
the university should determine learning processes or costumer - oriented programs to ensure educational programs .
educational methods should be focused on students . as finding medical an non medical universities have some differences about customer oriented since universities and others regarding the customer focus area , since students gender must be considered as an effective factor in giving healthcare services quality . in order to improve the customer focus ,
it is essential to take facilities , field of study , faculties , and syllabus into consideration .
if universities want to win against their problems and challenges , they should emphasize the improvement criteria of the quality of education and try to improve that by recognizing the existing barriers .
so , it is necessary to revise the university 's strategies and educational programs to make them compatible with society 's needs and students expectations .
students facility needs and the quality of education should be emphasized in the course of planning and expanding qualitatively fields and opportunities .
according to direct and indirect inference of the findings of this survey and those related to customer focus questions in the questionnaire , the following recommendations are presented in order to improve customer focus in universities : despite all existing limitations , internal evaluation conducted by university departments has led them to use interactive models and mechanisms in planning to improve the level .
the university should consider students as educational programs consumers and their demands should be dealt with this process .
, the university should incorporate other customers ( parents , the students of other faculties , etc . ) within .
the remarkable features of different fields of study should be clarified to tempt and motivate the students .
the department 's goals should be congruent with social needs in different fields as well as with individual needs and students expectations .
students should be sufficiently informed about the nature of different fields and it 's mission .
faculty members should properly devote their time to students and they should be available most of the time .
the university should determine learning processes or costumer - oriented programs to ensure educational programs .
educational methods should be focused on students . as finding medical an non medical universities have some differences about customer oriented since universities and others regarding the customer focus area , since students gender must be considered as an effective factor in giving healthcare services quality . in order to improve the customer focus ,
it is essential to take facilities , field of study , faculties , and syllabus into consideration .
if universities want to win against their problems and challenges , they should emphasize the improvement criteria of the quality of education and try to improve that by recognizing the existing barriers .
so , it is necessary to revise the university 's strategies and educational programs to make them compatible with society 's needs and students expectations .
students facility needs and the quality of education should be emphasized in the course of planning and expanding qualitatively fields and opportunities . | pubmed |
Bout One Project was an operation undertaken during the Korean War by U.S. Air Force to train South Korean pilots to fly F-51 Mustang fighters.
On June 27, 1950, as part of the project, a special unit was formed in Japan under Major Dean Hess, with the objective of training selected South Korean pilots to fly the F-51. Some of the Korean pilots were veterans of Japanese Army and Naval air forces during World War II. On July 2, the unit was transferred to Daegu Air Base, South Korea. After transfer, the unit was redesignated as 51st Provisional Fighter Squadron of the Republic of Korea Air Force, but remained under U.S. Air Force command, as the Koreans were not deemed prepared to operate their new aircraft effectively. Nevertheless, given the desperate situation on the ground, the 51st Squadron was committed to combat a day after their arrival, to support the U.S. 24th Infantry Division fighting near Daejon.
The combat operations revealed a number of problems. Major Hess felt that, although enthusiastic, South Korean pilots were not ready to operate F-51's effectively. Within two weeks' operation, two fighters were lost to ground fire. Because most Korean pilots did not speak English, there were problems in coordinating air operations with U.S. Army and Air Force. At the same time, because most South Korean Army officers did not speak English, they had difficulty requesting air support from U.S. Air Force as well, underlining the need for South Korean aircraft to support South Korean army units.
In late July, U.S. Air Force decided to disband the 51st Provisional Squadron and transfer its aircraft to U.S. Air Force units to be flown by American pilots. This plan was met by loud protest both from the South Korean government and Major Hess and was subsequently rescinded. However, most U.S. personnel were transferred from the 51st to U.S. units, leaving only two pilots including Major Hess and 13 ground crewmen.
After losing two more F-51's, Major Hess decided that Korean pilots required further training. The 51st Squadron was relocated first to Sacheon Air Base, then Chinhae Air Base to continue intensive training while occasionally taking part in combat along the Naktong River, during the Battle of Pusan Perimeter. On December 6, 1950, the 51st Squadron was relocated to Daejon. By this time, the unit was actively participating in support of the United Nations forces who had been driven back south of the 38th Parallel following the intervention by the Chinese forces during the preceding winter.
By this time, Bout One Project was deemed a success and the U.S. Air Force decided to train additional Republic of Korea Air Force pilots and ground crews and deliver more F-51's. On August 1, 1951, Bout One Project was officially terminated as the Republic of Korea Air Force was deemed capable of independent operation. At this time, the survivors of the 51st Provisional Squadron, as well as the additional aircraft provided by the U.S., were combined to form 10th Fighter Wing of Republic of Korea Air Force, under Colonel Kim Young Hwan, one of the original participants in the Bout One Project, at Sacheon Air Base.
References
Foxmouse Airbase https://web.archive.org/web/20060701181500/http://airwar.hihome.com/, in Korean
Category:Korean War | wikipedia |
Look, we've long known Cardi B as a pattern icon, but our girl delivered pure magical to the 2019 Grammy Awards.
Rocking a search from Thierry Mugler's 1995 autumn couture collect, initially worn by example Simonetta Gianfelici, the "I Like It" rapper had jaws falling the second she hit the red carpet.
The mother of Kulture stepped onto the carpet like she owned it, alongside Migos member and Kulture's father, Offset. She slipped through the crowds with ease. | slim_pajama |
Why does a strong base completely neutralize a weak acid? [closed]
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For the longest time, weak acid-strong base titration curves completely baffled me. I understood that the equivalence point of a strong acid-strong base titration is reached when equal numbers of moles of base titrant are added as there are acid analyte, but I didn't realize why the same is true for a weak acid-strong base titration; I incorrectly assumed that a strong base *will not* completely neutralize a weak acid when a stoichiometrically equal amount of base is added to acid - I thought that since a weak acid only partially deprotonates in solution, it is also only partially neutralized by strong base. Now that I realize that is an inherently incorrect assumption, my question is why does a strong base fully neutralize a weak acid if only a small percentage of the acid is deprotonated in solution? Is it an effect of Le Chatelier's principle?
The simple (high-school chemistry level) answer is that you are correct and it is indeed Le Chatelier's Principle. Consider ethanoic acid, $\ce{CH3COOH}$, which dissociates according to the equation $\ce{CH3COOH + H2O-> CH3COOH + H3O+}$. (If you haven't previously encountered hydronium ions, $\ce{H3O+}$, it's essentially just a somewhat more accurate way to represent $\ce{H+}$ ions in solution.)
As a strong base like $\ce{NaOH}$ is added, it will react with the $\ce{H3O+}$ ions in solution, so equilibrium for the dissociation of the weak acid will move to the right, forming more $\ce{H3O+}$ ions, which react with the strong base. This continues until the weak acid has entirely dissociated.
(Ed V's comment sets out a more quantitative explanation; depending on what level you're currently studying chemistry at, it may be more appropriate.)
| stackexchange/chemistry |
as a consequence of the increase in the number of cholecystectomies and the learning curve of surgeons , the incidence of bile duct injuries has also increased , ranging from 0.1 to 0.3% in laparoscopic procedures even at referral centers [ 15 ] . among iatrogenic injuries , bile duct injury has a greater clinical significance because of its potential to produce disability and long - term sequelae . since in most cases the borders of the bile duct are separated and/or the distal portion can not be identified , bile duct reconstruction is frequently performed by choledochoduodenal or choledochojejunal bypass drained through an excluded loop of a jejunal segment of 4060 cm ( roux - en - y reconstruction ) .
we propose a new technique consisting of the interposition of a tube of jejunum between the dilated common bile duct and duodenum in an attempt to restore the bile duct with a short segment of the small bowel whose caliber is proportional to that of the duct and to minimize obstruction caused by the circular folds of the jejunal segment .
this procedure of interposition of a tube of small bowel segment was performed similar to the technique proposed by monti [ 8 , 9 ] for continent diversion of neobladders .
this study reports the first case of reconstruction of bile duct transit after extensive iatrogenic injury by transverse retubularization of a pedicled jejunal segment , which was based on the study of crema et al .
a 41-year - old man was referred to the university hospital , department of digestive surgery , triangulo mineiro federal university , with jaundice , choluria and fecal hypocholia .
the patient was in good general health , pale ( 1+/4 + ) , hydrated , jaundiced ( 1+/4 + ) and afebrile .
abdominal ultrasonography performed on admission demonstrated dilatation of the intrahepatic bile ducts and only the proximal portion of the common hepatic duct was seen .
u / l , alkaline phosphatase 187.6 u / l , aspartate aminotransferase ( ast ) 183.4 u / l and alanine aminotransferase ( alt ) 485.7 u / l . the patient was submitted to surgical intervention .
inspection showed a small fistula ( probably the duct of luschka ) in the gallbladder bed , the common hepatic duct was sectioned with loss of substance between segments , and the proximal and distal stumps were ligated with cotton suture .
next , catheterization of the fistula in the duct of the gallbladder bed was performed with a no .
cholangiography showed moderate dilatation of the intrahepatic bile duct and a sudden obstruction in the common hepatic duct 1 cm from the confluence of the hepatic ducts , corresponding to bile duct injury classified as bismuth ii ( fig . 1 ) .
figure 1:right hepatic duct ( rh ) , left hepatic duct ( lh ) and obstructed common hepatic duct ( o ) .
right hepatic duct ( rh ) , left hepatic duct ( lh ) and obstructed common hepatic duct ( o ) .
the intervention chosen was reconstruction of the bile duct by interposition of a pedicled jejunal segment between the hepatic duct bifurcation and duodenum .
a 5-cm segment was cut from the jejunal loop at a distance of 40 cm from treitz angle ( fig . 2 ) and divided into two segments of 2.5 cm , each containing their respective vascular pedicles ( fig .
the mesenteric and antimesenteric borders of the two segments were cut longitudinally ( fig .
4 ) , promoting jejunal detubularization and forming two separate pedicled rectangles ( fig . 5 ) .
side - to - side anastomosis proximal to the pedicle was performed with 3 - 0 continuous sutures of polyglactin 910 ( vicryl ) on a single plane .
a 21-cm tube was created using 3 - 0 continuous sutures of polyglactin 910 ( vicryl ) ( figs 6 and 7 ) .
the size of the tube was reduced to 15 cm by resection of the distal ends by 3 cm . a transmesocolic passage for the tube
was created and an entero - enteral anastomosis was performed for reconstruction of jejunal transit .
figure 6:transverse retubularization .
the tube was formed and the common hepatic duct was anastomosed with interrupted 3 - 0 polypropylene ( prolene ) sutures .
a longitudinal incision of 3 cm was made in the second portion of the duodenum , comprising the serous and muscle layers and preserving the mucosa .
the levine catheter was maintained and exteriorized through the opening in the duodenum for subsequent radiological control and external biliary drainage into the duodenum .
magnetic resonance cholangiography performed 45 months after surgery showed a functioning tube ( fig .
figure 8:right hepatic duct ( rh ) , left hepatic duct ( lh ) , interposed jejunal tube ( t ) and antireflux valve ( v ) .
right hepatic duct ( rh ) , left hepatic duct ( lh ) , interposed jejunal tube ( t ) and antireflux valve ( v ) .
the monti procedure described in 1997 is a major contribution to the treatment of different urinary tract disorders .
this procedure was adapted in the present case for the reconstruction of the bile duct , showing extensive injury and an indication for biliodigestive derivation .
the incidence of intestinal reflux to the bile duct is lower in the case of excluded roux - en - y loop reconstruction .
however , the disadvantages of this approach include bile duct stenosis , secondary biliary cirrhosis and ascending cholangitis .
in addition , since the procedure is not anatomical , it deviates the flow of alkaline bile to the duodenum , causing long - term problems of peptic ulcer and impairing or preventing endoscopic access to the bile duct for diagnostic and therapeutic purposes .
the objective of this study was to propose a new type of reconstruction of extensive bile duct injuries that is more anatomical and physiological .
in 2006 , crema et al . published a study investigating the efficacy of interposition of a jejunal tube between the dilated bile duct and duodenum in adult dogs as a technical option for bile duct reconstruction .
regression of jaundice was observed in all animals at the end of the study , confirming that the interposed tube was effective in the conduction of bile .
this technique has been applied so far to seven patients , four with bile duct stenosis and three with bile duct cysts .
postoperative evolution of the patients was satisfactory and bile duct permeability was restored in all cases .
the procedure is simple and technically reproducible and represents a new option for the reconstruction of extensive extrahepatic bile injuries .
all authors warrant that they have sole ownership of the work submitted , that the work is original and has never been published , and the authors have full powers to grant such rights .
all authors have substantial contribution in this work , as the analysis and interpretation of data , writing and critical review , stating that participated sufficiently in the work to take public responsibility for the content . | pubmed |
Download and print this Pick A Seat Not A Side printable PDF.
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You can purchase this printable Pick A Seat Sign here on Etsy. | slim_pajama |
Bundahishn /bʊndaˈhɪʃn/ Avestan: 𐬠𐬎𐬥 𐬛𐬀𐬵𐬌𐬱𐬥𐬍𐬵 Bun-dahišnīh , meaning Primal Creation, is the name traditionally given to an encyclopediaic collection of Zoroastrian cosmogony and cosmology written in Book Pahlavi. The original name of the work is not known.
Although the Bundahishn draws on the Avesta and develops ideas alluded to in those texts, it is not itself scripture. The content reflects Zoroastrian scripture, which, in turn, reflects both ancient Zoroastrian and pre-Zoroastrian beliefs. In some cases, the text alludes to contingencies of post-7th century Islam in Iran, and in yet other cases, such as the idea that the Moon is farther than the stars, it reiterates scripture even though science had, by then, determined otherwise.
Structure
The traditionally given name seems to be an adoption of the sixth word from the first sentence of the younger of the two recensions. The older of the two recensions has a different first line, and the first translation of that version adopted the name Zand-Ākāsīh, meaning Zand-knowing, from the first two words of its first sentence.
Most of the chapters of the compendium date to the 8th and 9th centuries, roughly contemporary with the oldest portions of the Denkard, which is another significant text of the Pahlavi i.e. Zoroastrian Middle Persian collection. The later chapters are several centuries younger than the oldest ones. The oldest existing copy dates to the mid-16th century.
The Bundahishn survives in two recensions. A shorter was found in India, and is thus known as the Lesser Bundahishn, or Indian Bundahishn. A copy of this version was brought to Europe by Abraham Anquetil-Duperron in 1762. A longer version was brought to India from Iran by T.D. Anklesaria around 1870, and is thus known as the Greater Bundahishn or Iranian Bundahishn or just Bundahishn. The greater recension the name of which is abbreviated GBd or just Bd is about twice as long as the lesser abbreviated IBd.
The two recensions derive from different manuscript traditions, and in the portions available in both sources, vary slightly in content. The greater recension is also the older of the two, and was dated by West to around 1540. The lesser recension dates from about 1734.
Traditionally, chapter-verse pointers are in Arabic numerals for the lesser recension, and Roman numerals for the greater recension. The two series' are not synchronous since the lesser recension was analyzed by Duperrron in 1771 before the extent of the greater recension was known. The chapter order is also different.
Content
The Bundahishn is the concise view of the Zoroastrianism's creation myth, and of the first battles of the forces of Ahura Mazda and Angra Mainyu for the hegemony of the world. According to the text, in the first 3,000 years of the cosmic year, Ahura Mazda created the Fravashis and conceived the idea of his would-be creation. He used the insensible and motionless Void as a weapon against Angra Mainyu, and at the end of that period, Angra Mainyu was forced to submission and fell into a stupor for the next 3,000 years. Taking advantage of Angra Mainyu's absence, Ahura Mazda created the Amesha Spentas Bounteous Immortals, representing the primordial elements of the material world, and permeated his kingdom with Ard Asha, Truth in order to prevent Angra Mainyu from destroying it. The Bundahishn finally recounts the creation of the primordial bovine, Ewagdad Avestan Gavaevodata, and Gayomard Avestan Gayomaretan, the primordial human.
Following MacKenzie, the following chapter names in quotation marks reflect the original titles. Those without quotation marks are summaries of chapters that have no title. The chapter/section numbering scheme is based on that of B.T. Anklesaria for the greater recension, and that of West for the lesser recension. The chapter numbers for the greater recension are in the first column and in Roman numerals, and the chapter numbers for the lesser recension are in the second column, and are noted in Arabic numerals and in parenthesis.
Zoroastrian astronomy
Excerpt from Chapter 2:- On the formation of the luminaries.
1. Ohrmazd produced illumination between the sky and the earth, the constellation stars and those also not of the constellations, then the moon, and afterwards the sun, as I shall relate.
2. First he produced the celestial sphere, and the constellation stars are assigned to it by him; especially these twelve whose names are Varak the Lamb, Tora the Bull, Do-patkar the Two-figures or Gemini, Kalachang the Crab, Sher the Lion, Khushak Virgo, Tarazhuk the Balance, Gazdum the Scorpion, Nimasp the Centaur or Sagittarius, Vahik Capricorn, Dul the Water-pot, and Mahik the Fish;
3. which, from their original creation, were divided into the twenty-eight subdivisions of the astronomers, of which the names are Padevar, Pesh-Parviz, Parviz, Paha, Avesar, Beshn, Rakhvad, Taraha, Avra, Nahn, Miyan, Avdem, Mashaha, Spur, Husru, Srob, Nur, Gel, Garafsha Varant, Gau, Goi, Muru, Bunda, Kahtsar, Vaht, Miyan, Kaht.
4. And all his original creations, residing in the world, are committed to them; so that when the destroyer arrives they overcome the adversary and their own persecution, and the creatures are saved from those adversities.
5. As a specimen of a warlike army, which is destined for battle, they have ordained every single constellation of those 6480 thousand small stars as assistance; and among those constellations four chieftains, appointed on the four sides, are leaders.
6. On the recommendation of those chieftains the many unnumbered stars are specially assigned to the various quarters and various places, as the united strength and appointed power of those constellations.
7. As it is said that Tishtar is the chieftain of the east, Sataves the chieftain of the west, Vanand the chieftain of the south, and Haptoring the chieftain of the north.
See also
Book of the Dove, a medieval Russian poem sharing striking similarities with the Bundahishn
References
Further reading
.
Kassock, Zeke J.V., 2013, The Greater Iranian Bundahishn: A Pahlavi Student's 2013 Guide,
A translation of the Iranian or Greater Bundahišn by Anklesaria, Behramgore Tehmuras 1956 at Avesta.org
A modern transcription of the Indian Bundahishn in the original Pahlavi at TITUS
An edition of the Indian Bundahishn in the original Pahlavi, with German translation, by Ferdinand Justi 1868 at the Internet Archive
An edition of the Pahlavi text from 1908, edited by Ervad Tahmuras Dinshaji Anklesaria
External links
The Bundahishn HTML format
Category:Middle Persian literature
Category:Zoroastrian texts
Category:Persian encyclopedias | wikipedia |
Jimmy Craw Crawford January 14, 1910 January 28, 1980 was an American jazz drummer in the swing era.
Biography
Jimmy Crawford was born in 1910 in Memphis, Tennessee. He was the drummer of the Jimmie Lunceford big band for nearly 14 years from 1928 to 1942. According to Modern Drummer, Crawford played with a strong, solid pulsation a classic trademark of the Lunceford sound and was a key factor in establishing the unique Lunceford beat. Later, in the 1950s, Crawford worked as a pit drummer on Broadway. He recorded with numerous notable artists such as Ella Fitzgerald, Dizzy Gillespie, Count Basie, Sy Oliver, Bing Crosby, Benny Goodman, and Frank Sinatra.
He died on January 28, 1980 in New York City.
Influences
Paul Motian mentioned Crawford as one of his favorite drummers.
Discography
With Buster Bailey
All About Memphis Felsted, 1958
With Count Basie
Memories Ad-Lib Roulette, 1958 - with Joe Williams
String Along with Basie Roulette, 1960
With Kenny Burrell
Bluesin' Around Columbia, 1961 [1983]
With Buck Clarke
The Buck Clarke Sound Argo, 1963
With Dizzy Gillespie
Dizzy and Strings Norgran, 1954
With Coleman Hawkins
The Hawk Talks Decca, 1952-53 [1955]
With Eddie Heywood
Eddie Heywood EmArcy, 1955
With Quincy Jones
The Birth of a Band! Mercury, 1959
Quincy Plays for Pussycats Mercury, 1959-65 [1965]
References
Category:American jazz drummers
Category:1910 births
Category:1980 deaths
Category:20th-century American drummers
Category:American male drummers
Category:20th-century American male musicians
Category:Male jazz musicians | wikipedia |
the question of global regularity of solutions is still open for many fundamental equations of fluid dynamics . in the case of the three dimensional navier - stokes and euler equations ,
it remains one of the central open problems of classical mathematical physics and partial differential equations .
much more is known in two dimensions , though the picture is far from complete even in that case .
global regularity of solutions to the 2d incompressible euler equations in smooth domains has been known since the works of wolibner @xcite and hlder @xcite . however , even in 2d the estimates necessary for the euler global regularity barely close , and the best upper bound on the growth of derivatives is double exponential in time .
recently , kiselev and ver ' ak showed that this upper bound is sharp by constructing an example of a solution to the 2d euler equations on a disk whose gradient indeed grows double exponentially in time @xcite .
exponential growth on a domain without a boundary ( the torus @xmath4 ) was recently shown to be possible by zlato @xcite
. some earlier examples of unbounded growth are due to yudovich @xcite , nadirashvili @xcite , and denisov @xcite . in a certain sense that will be made precise below , the 2d euler equations may be regarded as critical , even though we are not aware of a simple scaling argument for such a classification .
as opposed to the 2d euler equations , the global regularity vs finite time singularity question has not been resolved for the two - dimensional surface quasi - geostrophic ( sqg ) equation , which appears in atmospheric science models ( and shares many of its features with the 3d euler equation see , e.g. , @xcite ) .
the sqg equation is given by @xmath5 with @xmath6 and the biot - savart law for the velocity @xmath7 where @xmath8 equation ( [ sqg ] ) has the same form as the 2d euler equations in the vorticity formulation , but the latter has the more regular ( by one derivative ) biot - savart law @xmath9 the sqg equation is usually considered on either @xmath10 or @xmath4 , and the fractional laplacian can be defined via the fourier transform .
the equation appears , for instance , in the book @xcite by pedlosky and was first rigorously studied in the work of constantin , majda and tabak @xcite where , in particular , a closing saddle scenario for a finite time singularity has been suggested .
this scenario and some other related ones have been ruled out in the later works of c ' ordoba @xcite and c ' ordoba and fefferman @xcite .
also , existence of global weak solutions was proved by resnick @xcite .
we should mention that a lot of work has focused on the sqg equation and related active scalars with a fractional dissipation term of the form @xmath11 on the right - hand side of .
global regularity for the critical viscous sqg equation , with @xmath12 , was proved independently by caffarelli and vasseur @xcite , and by kiselev , nazarov , and volberg @xcite ( see also the subsequent works @xcite for alternative proofs ) .
the global regularity proof is standard for @xmath13 $ ] ( see e.g. @xcite ) , while in the super - critical case @xmath14 the question of global regularity vs finite time blow - up remains open .
the best available result in this direction is global regularity for the logarithmically super - critical sqg equation by dabkowski , kiselev , silvestre , and vicol @xcite .
a natural family of active scalars which interpolates between the 2d euler and sqg equations is given by with the biot - savart law @xmath15 this family has been called modified or generalized sqg equations in the literature ( see , e.g. , @xcite , or the paper @xcite by pierrehumbert , held , and swanson for a geophysical literature reference ) . the cases @xmath1 and @xmath2 correspond to the 2d euler and sqg equations , respectively .
the question of global regularity of the solutions with smooth initial data has been open for all @xmath3 , that is , for any of these models which are more singular than the 2d euler equations .
ironically , even though the sqg and the modified sqg equations are more singular than the 2d euler equations , no examples of solutions with unbounded growth of derivatives in time are known .
the best result in this direction is arbitrary bounded growth of high sobolev norms on finite time intervals by kiselev and nazarov @xcite .
the reason is that due to nonlinearity and nonlocality of active scalars , it is difficult to control the solutions at large times , and this task gets harder as the biot - savart law becomes more singular .
this issue will be evident in the present paper as well . while the above discussion concerns active scalars with sufficiently smooth initial data , an important class of solutions to these equations are vortex patches @xmath16 here @xmath17 are some constants , @xmath18 are ( evolving in time ) open sets with non - zero mutual distances and smooth boundaries , and @xmath19 denotes the characteristic function of a domain @xmath20
. vortex patches model flows with abrupt variations in vorticity , which are common in nature .
existence and uniqueness of appropriately defined vortex patch solutions to the 2d euler equations in the whole plane goes back to the work of yudovich @xcite , and regularity in this setting refers to sufficient smoothness of the patch boundaries as well as to the lack of both self - intersections of each patch boundary and touches of different patches .
singularity formation for 2d euler patches had initially been conjectured based on the numerical simulations by buttke @xcite , see majda @xcite for a discussion .
later , simulations by dritschel , mcintyre , and zabusky @xcite questioning the singularity formation prediction appeared ; we refer to @xcite for a review of these and related works .
this controversy was settled in 1993 , when chemin @xcite proved that the boundary of a 2d euler patch remains regular for all times , with a double exponential upper bound on the temporal growth of its curvature ( see also the work by bertozzi and constantin @xcite for a different proof ) . the patch problem for the sqg equation is more involved . local existence and uniqueness in the class of weak solutions of the special type @xmath21 with @xmath22 and periodic in @xmath23 , corresponding to a ( single patch ) initial condition of the same form , was proved by rodrigo @xcite . for the sqg and modified sqg patches with boundaries which are simple closed @xmath24 curves ,
local existence was established by gancedo @xcite via a study of a contour equation whose solutions parametrize the patch boundary ( uniqueness of solutions was also proved for the contour equation for @xmath25 , although not for the original modified sqg equation ) .
local existence of such contour solutions in the more singular case @xmath26 $ ] was obtained by chae , constantin , c ' ordoba , gancedo , and wu @xcite .
existence of splash singularities ( touching of exactly two segments of a patch boundary , which remains uniformly @xmath24 ) for the sqg equation was ruled out by gancedo and strain @xcite . a computational study of the sqg and modified sqg patches by c ' ordoba , fontelos , mancho , and rodrigo @xcite ( where the patch problem for the modified sqg equation first appeared ) suggested a finite time singularity , with two patches touching each other and simultaneously developing corners at the touching point . a more careful numerical study by mancho @xcite suggests involvement of self - similar elements in this singularity formation process , but its rigorous confirmation and understanding is still lacking .
we note that even local well - posedness is far from trivial for many interface evolution models of fluid dynamics , see e.g. @xcite where the muskat problem is discussed .
we refer to @xcite for other recent advances in some of the interface problems of fluid dynamics . in this paper
, we consider the patch evolution for the 2d euler equations and for the modified sqg equations in the presence of boundaries .
the latter are important in many applications , in particular , in the onset of turbulence and in the creation of small scales in the motion of fluids .
the global existence of a single @xmath27 patch for the 2d euler equations on the half - plane @xmath28 was proved by depauw @xcite when the patch does not touch the boundary @xmath29 initially . if it is , then @xcite only proved that the patch will remain @xmath27 for a finite time , while dutrifoy @xcite proved a result which can be used to obtain global existence in the weaker space @xmath30 for some @xmath31 .
uniqueness of solutions in the 2d euler case follows from the work of yudovich @xcite .
since we are not aware of a global existence result without a loss of regularity for ( either one or multiple ) 2d euler patches on the half - plane which may touch its boundary , we will provide a proof of the global existence for such @xmath27 patches here .
this contrasts with our main goal , proving finite time singularity formation for the modified sqg patch evolution with @xmath3 in domains with a boundary .
these two results together will then also establish existence of a phase transition in the behavior of solutions at @xmath1 .
for the sake of minimizing the technicalities , we do not strive for the greatest generality , and will consider @xmath24 patches ( as in @xcite ) on the half - plane , with small enough @xmath3 ( that is , slightly more singular than the 2d euler case @xmath1 ) .
our initial condition @xmath32 will be the difference of characteristic functions of two patches with smooth boundaries .
the patches will initially touch the boundary of the half - plane and , as was explained above , the loss of @xmath24 regularity or self - intersections of their boundaries , as well as touches of the two patches , will all constitute a singularity .
the possible importance of boundaries in the formation of singularities in fluids has been illustrated by recent numerical simulations of luo and hou @xcite , which suggested a new scenario for singularity formation in the 3d euler equations .
the flow in this scenario is axi - symmetric on a cylinder and so , in a way , can be viewed as two - dimensional ( see @xcite for a more detailed discussion ) .
the rapid growth of the vorticity in these simulations happens on the boundary of the cylinder .
the geometry of the construction we carry out in this work bears some similarity to this scenario , as well as to the geometry of the kiselev - ver ' ak example of a solution to the 2d euler equations with a double exponential growth of its vorticity gradient .
in particular , in all three instances , a hyperbolic fixed point of the flow located on the boundary is involved .
however the construction itself and the methods we use are quite different from earlier works .
let us now turn to the specifics . as we said above , we will only consider modified sqg evolution for small enough @xmath33 specifically @xmath34 the constraint @xmath35 comes from the currently available local well - posedness results , while the singularity formation argument by itself allows a somewhat larger value .
the bio - savart law for the patch evolution on the half - plane @xmath36 is @xmath37 with the dirichlet laplacian on @xmath20 , which can also be written as @xmath38 for @xmath39 ( up to a positive pre - factor , which can be dropped without loss due to scaling ) .
we use here the notation @xmath40 for @xmath41 .
the vector field @xmath42 given by ( [ eq : velocity_law ] ) is divergence free and tangential to the boundary @xmath29 , that is , @xmath43 a traditional approach to the 2d euler ( @xmath1 ) vortex patch evolution , going back to yudovich ( see @xcite for an exposition ) is via the corresponding flow map .
the active scalar @xmath44 is advected by @xmath42 from ( [ eq : velocity_law ] ) via @xmath45 where @xmath46 the initial condition @xmath32 for - is patch - like , @xmath47 with @xmath48 and @xmath49 bounded open sets , whose closures @xmath50 are pairwise disjoint and whose boundaries @xmath51 are simple closed curves .
one reason the yudovich theory works for the 2d euler equations is that for @xmath44 which is ( uniformly in time ) in @xmath52 , the velocity field @xmath42 given by ( [ eq : velocity_law ] ) with @xmath1 is log - lipschitz in space , and the flow map @xmath53 is everywhere well - defined . in our situation ,
when @xmath44 is a patch solution and @xmath3 , the flow @xmath42 from ( [ eq : velocity_law ] ) is smooth away from the patch boundaries @xmath54 but is only hlder at @xmath54 which is exactly where one needs to use the flow map ( see lemma [ lemma : uniform_u_bound ] for the corresponding hlder estimate ) .
thus , the yudovich definition of the evolution may not be applied directly , as the flow trajectories need not be unique when @xmath42 is only hlder continuous .
we will instead use a natural alternative definition of patch solutions to ( [ sqg])-([eq : velocity_law ] ) , which will be equivalent to the usual definition in the 2d euler case , and closely related to the definitions used in earlier works on modified sqg patches . in order to not interrupt this introduction
, we postpone the precise discussion of these points to section [ sec : def - flow ] see definition [ d.1.1 ] and the rest of that section .
the following local well - posedness result is proved in the companion paper @xcite .
[ t.1.1 ] ( @xcite ) if @xmath55 , then for each @xmath24 patch - like initial data @xmath32 , there exists a unique local @xmath24 patch solution @xmath44 to - with @xmath6 . moreover , if the maximal time @xmath56 of existence of @xmath44 is finite , then at @xmath56 a singularity forms : either two patches touch , or a patch boundary touches itself or loses @xmath24 regularity
. the hypothesis @xmath35 in theorem [ t.1.1 ] may well be an artifact of the local existence proof , but we still will need a `` small @xmath57 '' assumption , even though less restrictive , in the finite time singularity proof below . the last claim in this theorem means that either @xmath58 for some @xmath59 , or @xmath60 is not a simple closed curve for some @xmath61 , or @xmath62 for some @xmath61 , where the above norm is the @xmath24 norm of any constant - speed parametrization of @xmath54 ( see definition [ d.1.0 ] below ) . note that the sets @xmath63 with the limit taken with respect to the hausdorff distance @xmath64 , are well defined if @xmath65 because @xmath42 is uniformly bounded see lemma [ lemma : uniform_u_bound ] below . in fact , ( * ? ? ?
* lemma 4.10 ) yields @xmath66 for @xmath67 .
we can now state the main results of the present paper global regularity of @xmath27 patch solutions in the 2d euler case @xmath1 , and existence of @xmath24 patch solutions which develop a singularity in finite time for small @xmath3 .
[ thmeuler1 ] let @xmath68 and @xmath69 $ ] .
then for each @xmath27 patch - like initial data @xmath32 , there exists a unique global @xmath27 patch solution @xmath44 to - with @xmath6 .
[ main1234 ] let @xmath55 .
then there are @xmath24 patch - like initial data @xmath32 for which the unique local @xmath24 patch solution @xmath44 to - with @xmath6 becomes singular in finite time ( i.e. , its maximal time of existence @xmath56 is finite ) . to the best of our knowledge ,
theorem [ main1234 ] is the first rigorous proof of finite time singularity formation in this class of fluid dynamics models .
moreover , theorems [ thmeuler1 ] and [ main1234 ] show that the @xmath57-patch model undergoes a phase transition at @xmath1 , which provides a reason for calling the 2d euler equations `` critical '' .
let us now describe the type initial conditions , depicted in figure [ fig_init ] , which will lead to a singularity for @xmath3 . which leads to a finite time singularity .
[ fig_init ] ] as we have mentioned above , our choice of initial data is motivated by the numerical simulations of the three - dimensional euler equations in @xcite , as well as by the example of smooth solutions to the 2d euler equations with a double exponential temporal growth of their vorticity gradients in @xcite .
the initial condition consist of two patches with opposite signs , symmetric with respect to the @xmath70-axis and touching the @xmath23-axis .
the patches are sufficiently close to the origin and have a sufficiently large area .
it can then be seen from that the rightmost point of the left patch on the @xmath23-axis and the leftmost point of the right patch on the @xmath23-axis will move toward each other ( see figure [ fig_init ] ) . in the case of the 2d euler equations @xmath1 ,
theorem [ thmeuler1 ] shows that the two points never reach the origin .
when @xmath3 is small , however , we are able to control the evolution sufficiently well to show that unless the solution develops another singularity earlier both points will reach the origin in a finite time .
the argument yielding such control is fairly subtle , and the estimates do not extend to all @xmath71 , even though one would expect the singularity formation to persist for more singular equations .
we note that we will actually run the singularity formation argument for the less regular @xmath72 patch solutions .
however , we do not currently have local well - posedness theorem in this class for @xmath3 , even though existence of such solutions follows from existence of the more regular @xmath24 patch solutions .
since our argument requires odd symmetry , which would follow from uniqueness due to the symmetries of the equation , it effectively shows that there exist @xmath27 patch solutions which either have a finite maximal time of existence ( i.e. , exhibit singularity formation ) or lose uniqueness ( and odd symmetry ) . throughout the paper we denote by @xmath73 , @xmath74 , etc .
various universal constants , which may change from line to line .
* acknowledgment .
* we thank peter guba , bob hardt , and giovanni russo for useful discussions .
we acknowledge partial support by nsf - dms grants 1056327 , 1159133 , 1311903 , 1411857 , 1412023 , and 1535653 .
in this section , we make precise the notion of the patch evolution for @xmath3 and recall additional existence results from @xcite which we will need in the proof of theorem [ main1234 ] .
as we mentioned above , hlder regularity of the fluid velocity @xmath42 at the patch boundaries is not sufficient for a unique definition of the trajectories from when @xmath3 .
we start with a definition of the hlder and sobolev norms of the boundaries of domains in @xmath10 which will make the notions of @xmath27 and @xmath24 patches precise .
[ d.1.0 ] let @xmath75 be a bounded open set whose boundary @xmath76 is a simple closed @xmath77 curve with arc - length @xmath78 .
a constant speed parametrization of @xmath76 is any counter - clockwise parametrization @xmath79 of @xmath76 with @xmath80 on the circle @xmath81 $ ] ( with @xmath82 identified ) , and we define @xmath83 and @xmath84 .
it is not difficult to see ( using ( * ? ? ?
* lemma 3.4 ) ) , that a domain @xmath85 as above satisfies @xmath86 ( resp .
@xmath87 ) precisely when for some @xmath88 , @xmath89 , and each @xmath90 , the set @xmath91 is ( in the coordinate system centered at @xmath92 and with the axes given by the tangent and normal vectors to @xmath76 at @xmath92 ) the graph of a function with @xmath93 ( resp .
@xmath94 ) norm less than @xmath95 .
we denote by @xmath96 the hausdorff distance between two sets @xmath97 . for a set @xmath98 , a vector field @xmath99 , and @xmath100
, we let @xmath101:= \
{ x+hv(x)\,:\ , x\in\gamma\}.\ ] ] our definition of a patch solution to - in the half - plane is as follows .
[ d.1.1 ] let @xmath28 , let @xmath102 , and for each @xmath103 , let @xmath104 be bounded open sets with pairwise disjoint closures whose boundaries @xmath105 are simple closed curves , such that each @xmath105 is also continuous in @xmath103 with respect to @xmath64 .
denote @xmath106 and let @xmath107 if for each @xmath108 and @xmath42 from , we have @xmath109 \big)}h = 0,\ ] ] then @xmath44 is a patch solution to - on the time interval @xmath110 . if we also have @xmath111 } \|\omega_k(t)\|_{c^{m,\gamma}}<\infty \qquad \left(\text{resp . }
\sup_{t\in [ 0,t ' ] } \|\omega_k(t)\|_{h^{m}}<\infty \right)\ ] ] for each @xmath61 and @xmath112 , then @xmath44 is a @xmath93 ( resp .
@xmath94 ) patch solution to - on @xmath110 .
lemma [ lemma : uniform_u_bound ] below shows that @xmath42 is hlder continuous for patch solutions , thus says that @xmath76 is moving with velocity @xmath113 at any @xmath103 and @xmath114 .
this definition generalizes the well - known definitions for the 2d euler equations in terms of - or in terms of the normal velocity at @xmath76 .
indeed , if @xmath44 satisfies @xmath115 for each @xmath61 and @xmath103 , the patches have pairwise disjoint closures , and their boundaries remain simple closed curves , then continuity of @xmath42 , compactness of @xmath116 , and show that @xmath44 is a patch solution to - on @xmath110 . moreover , if @xmath116 is @xmath117 and @xmath118 is the outer unit normal vector at @xmath114 , then is equivalent to the motion of @xmath116 with the outer normal velocity @xmath119 at each @xmath120 ( which can be defined in a natural way by with @xmath121 replaced by @xmath122 )
. however , definition [ d.1.1 ] makes sense even if @xmath123 can not be uniquely defined for some @xmath92 , or when @xmath116 is not @xmath117 .
it is not difficult to show ( see @xcite , remark 3 after definition 1.2 ) that @xmath117 patch solutions to - are also weak solutions to in the sense that for each @xmath124 we have @xmath125 dx\ ] ] for all @xmath108 , with both sides continuous in @xmath126 . also
, weak solutions to - which are of the form and have @xmath117 boundaries @xmath54 which move with some continuous velocity @xmath127 ( in the sense of with @xmath128 in place of @xmath42 ) , do satisfy with @xmath42 ( hence they are patch solutions if those boundaries are simple closed curves and the domains have pairwise disjoint closures ) .
moreover , also leads to @xmath129 for each @xmath61 and @xmath103 see an elementary argument at the end of the introduction of @xcite .
we also note that in the 2d euler case @xmath1 , it is not difficult to show via the standard approach of yudovich theory that there is a unique global weak solution @xmath44 to - on @xmath20 with a given @xmath130 as in definition [ d.1.1 ] , and it is of the form with @xmath115 .
( we spell out this argument in section [ sec : euler ] . )
thus , the above shows that as long as the patch boundaries remain pairwise disjoint simple closed curves , @xmath44 is also the unique patch solution to - .
the companion paper @xcite , which proves theorem [ t.1.1 ] as well as the same result on @xmath10 for all @xmath25 ( thus extending the results of @xcite for infinitely smooth sqg patches of a special type on @xmath10 to all @xmath24 modified sqg patches ) , also provides a link between patch solutions and the flow map @xmath53 from which will be important in our finite time singularity proof .
note that since @xmath42 is smooth away from @xmath76 , the trajectories @xmath123 remain unique at least until they hit @xmath76 ( in the euler case , @xmath123 is always unique because @xmath42 is log - lipschitz ) .
however , after hitting a patch boundary , the trajectory still exists but need not be unique .
part ( a ) of the following result from @xcite shows that for @xmath131 and patch solutions with @xmath24 boundaries , the flow lines which start away from @xmath132 will stay away from @xmath116 as long as the solution remains regular ( note that we have @xmath133 )
. [ t.1.1bis ] ( @xcite ) for @xmath44 as in the first paragraph of definition [ d.1.1 ] and @xmath134 , let @xmath135 $ ] be the maximal time such that the solution of with @xmath42 from satisfies @xmath136 for each @xmath137 .
( a ) if @xmath138 , @xmath139 $ ] , and @xmath44 is a @xmath27 patch solution to - on @xmath110 , then @xmath140 for each @xmath141 and @xmath142\to [ \bar d\setminus \partial\omega(t)]\ ] ] is a bijection for each @xmath103 . + ( b ) if @xmath25 , @xmath143 for each @xmath141 , and @xmath144\to [ \bar d\setminus \partial\omega(t)]$ ] is a bijection for each @xmath103 , then @xmath44 is a patch solution to - on @xmath110 .
moreover , @xmath53 is measure preserving on @xmath145 and it also maps each @xmath146 onto @xmath147 as well as @xmath148 onto @xmath149 . finally , we have @xmath150 for each @xmath61 and @xmath103 , in the sense that any solution of with @xmath151 satisfies @xmath152 , and for each @xmath153 , there is @xmath151 and a solution of such that @xmath154 .
in this section we prove theorem [ thmeuler1 ] . for the sake of simplicity of presentation ,
we first consider a single patch @xmath155 , with @xmath156 later , we will show how to generalize this to finitely many patches .
we may assume without loss of generality that both @xmath157 and @xmath158 , as the general single patch case then follows by a simple scaling .
the local - in - time existence and uniqueness of @xmath27 patch solutions for this initial value problem was proved in @xcite .
we will therefore focus on estimates which will allow the solution to be continued indefinitely .
our approach is a combination of the techniques form @xcite and a refinement of the estimates in @xcite .
following @xcite , we reformulate the vortex - patch evolution in terms of the evolution of a function @xmath159 , which defines the patch via @xmath160 first , if @xmath132 is a simple closed @xmath27 curve , there exists a function @xmath161 such that @xmath162 on @xmath163 , @xmath164 on @xmath132 , and @xmath165 one can obtain such @xmath166 , for instance , by solving the dirichlet problem @xmath167 with @xmath168 .
it follows from the standard elliptic estimates ( see , e.g. , ( * ? ? ?
* theorem 8.34 ) ) that @xmath169 , while ( [ aug1902 ] ) is a consequence of hopf s lemma , which holds for @xmath27 domains by a result of finn and gilbarg @xcite ( see also ( * ? ? ?
* section 10 ) ) .
consider now the flow map corresponding to the biot - savart law for the euler equation on the half plane , @xmath170 with @xmath171 the reflection of @xmath172 across the @xmath23-axis . for @xmath173 , we set @xmath174 with @xmath175 the inverse map , so that @xmath176 solves @xmath177 on @xmath178 .
thus , for each @xmath179 , @xmath180 on @xmath172 , it vanishes on @xmath116 , and it is not defined on @xmath181 .
we now let @xmath182 and define @xmath183 by our choice of @xmath166 , we have @xmath184 moreover , @xmath185 is divergence free and satisfies @xmath186 proposition 1 in @xcite and @xmath187 yield @xmath188 with @xmath189 and some universal @xmath190 . hence , we obtain from ( after doubling @xmath74 ) : @xmath191 the main step in the proof will be to get an appropriate bound on @xmath192 . a simple calculation and yield @xmath193 our goal will now be to show @xmath194 with some universal @xmath190 .
this and turn into @xmath195 it follows from and that the ratio @xmath196 satisfies @xmath197 therefore , @xmath198 grows at most double - exponentially in time , and the same estimate for @xmath199 , @xmath200 , and @xmath192 follows from , ( [ eq1 ] ) , and ( [ 123 ] ) , respectively .
this then proves theorem [ thmeuler1 ] for a single patch because the above bounds on @xmath192 , @xmath201 and @xmath199 imply that the patch boundary can not touch itself and must be @xmath27 at time @xmath126 ( hence the local - in - time solution can be extended indefinitely ) .
thus , the proof for a single patch is reduced to .
the time variable will not play a role here , so we will drop the argument @xmath126 in what follows .
we split @xmath202 as @xmath203 since @xmath204 is generated by the patch @xmath85 , and @xmath185 is tangential to @xmath205 , ( * ? ? ?
* corollary 1 ) gives @xmath206 with a universal @xmath74 .
note that in @xcite , @xmath207 is defined in @xmath10 and all the norms are over @xmath208 .
we can use whitney - type extension theorems ( * ? ? ?
* sec 6.2 , theorem 4 ) to extend our @xmath176 to all of @xmath208 so that its @xmath27 norm increases at most by a universal factor @xmath209 .
this and @xcite now yield . notice that this extended @xmath176 does not necessarily solve . by and ,
@xmath210 is indeed bounded by the right - hand side of .
thus , it suffices to show that @xmath211 satisfies the same estimate .
as @xmath185 is not tangential to the boundary of @xmath212 , which generates @xmath213 , we can not directly apply the methods from @xcite .
let us take the above extension of @xmath176 to @xmath208 and define @xmath214 with @xmath215 .
then @xmath216 is tangential to @xmath217 and @xmath218 thus , corollary 1 of @xcite again yields @xmath219 hence , it suffices to prove the following bound .
[ proptech2de ] if @xmath220 is positive on @xmath221 and vanishes on @xmath76 , then , with @xmath222 as above ( and some universal @xmath190 ) we have @xmath223 let us introduce some notation : for any @xmath224 , define @xmath225 let @xmath226 be such that @xmath227 ( if there are multiple such points , we pick any of them ) , and let @xmath228 be the reflection of @xmath229 across the @xmath23-axis . for an illustration of @xmath230 , see figure [ w_w2 ] . and @xmath216 , and @xmath231 , @xmath229 , @xmath228 for @xmath232 .
[ w_w2],title="fig : " ] and @xmath216 , and @xmath231 , @xmath229 , @xmath228 for @xmath232 .
[ w_w2],title="fig : " ] for arbitrary @xmath233 we can assume , without loss of generality , that @xmath234 .
then , with @xmath235 , we have @xmath236 since the first term on the right - hand side is bounded by the right - hand side of due to and the definition of @xmath237 , we only need to obtain the same bound for the second term
. we will estimate @xmath238 and @xmath239 separately , in terms of @xmath240 , @xmath241 , @xmath231 , and @xmath242 .
let us start with @xmath239 .
we estimate @xmath243 where we used the inequality @xmath244 to bound the last two terms in the middle expression by @xmath245 , while the first term equals @xmath246 because @xmath247 the following lemma will allow us to control @xmath248 . for any @xmath249
, we have @xmath250 .
denote by @xmath251 $ ] the angle between @xmath252 and the @xmath70-axis ( see figure [ theta_fig ] ) , so that @xmath253 , then we are done .
otherwise , let @xmath254 denote the unit vector such that the angle between @xmath254 and @xmath252 is @xmath255 ( so @xmath254 points inside @xmath85 at @xmath256 ) and @xmath257 .
draw a ray in the direction @xmath254 and originating at @xmath256 , and denote by @xmath258 its intersection with the @xmath23-axis .
note that @xmath259 since @xmath260 due to @xmath261 .
.[theta_fig ] ] the length of the segment @xmath262 is @xmath263 where either @xmath264 or @xmath265 , the latter if @xmath266 . in either case
we have @xmath267 we also have @xmath268 and @xmath269 must change sign on the segment @xmath262 because @xmath270 and @xmath271 on @xmath76 . as @xmath272
we obtain @xmath273 raising this to power @xmath274 and using ( [ aug1906 ] ) yields @xmath275 since @xmath276 , the proof is complete . the above lemma applied at @xmath277 , along with @xmath278 ,
now yields @xmath279 next we bound @xmath238 .
[ t1prop ] with the hypotheses of proposition [ proptech2de ] , for @xmath280 with @xmath281 we have @xmath282 a related but weaker bound ( which does not suffice here ) was proved in @xcite . before proving proposition [ t1prop ] ,
let us first complete the proof of proposition [ proptech2de ] .
the bound implies @xmath283 multiplying this by gives @xmath284 as we have explained above , this yields and concludes the proof .
we are left with proving proposition [ t1prop ] .
we start with the following simple lemma .
[ depauw1 ] when @xmath281 for @xmath280 , we have ( with a universal @xmath285 ) @xmath286 the mean value theorem yields @xmath287 for some point @xmath288 on the segment connecting @xmath92 and @xmath289 .
since @xmath290 is the reflection of @xmath221 with respect to the @xmath23-axis , we have @xmath291 $ ] and @xmath292 $ ] . as @xmath281
, we then obtain @xmath293 moreover , for any @xmath294 we have ( with a universal @xmath285 ) @xmath295 if @xmath296 , then ( [ depauweasy ] ) follows because @xmath297 .
if @xmath298 , let @xmath299 and connect @xmath92 and @xmath289 by a path consisting of the segments @xmath300 $ ] and @xmath301 $ ] .
then @xmath302 note that @xmath303 and we also have @xmath304 due to @xmath305 and .
it then follows that @xmath306 so by @xmath281 and the above we have @xmath307 in addition to ( [ aug2008 ] ) . combining these estimates with , we obtain @xmath308 because @xmath309 .
we continue the proof of proposition [ t1prop ] . due to lemma [ depauw1 ] , to prove we only need to consider the case @xmath310 for any fixed @xmath311 .
let us pick @xmath312 , with the universal constant @xmath313 from the remark about whitney extensions after , so that if we let @xmath314 and @xmath315 it suffices to consider @xmath316 ( because @xmath317 ) .
hence , the next lemma finishes the proof of proposition [ t1prop ] .
[ t1key ] when @xmath318 for @xmath280 , we have ( with a universal constant @xmath190 ) @xmath319 in the proof of this lemma , the following improvement of will be used to control @xmath320 .
its proof is postponed until the end of this section .
[ lemma : d2vx ] for any @xmath321 with @xmath322 $ ] , we have ( with a universal @xmath190 ) @xmath323 let us first assume @xmath324 so that @xmath325 then follows from the estimate @xmath326 and ( the latter holds for any @xmath327 as in proposition [ proptech2de ] see ( * ? ? ?
* proposition 1 ) ) .
assume now that @xmath328 .
as in lemma [ depauw1 ] , let @xmath329 and connect the points @xmath92 and @xmath289 by a path consisting of the two segments @xmath300,~[q_{xy}y]$ ] , again parametrized by @xmath330 for @xmath331 $ ] ( see figure [ path ] )
. then we again have @xmath332 for @xmath333 and @xmath331 $ ] . and the paths @xmath334 and @xmath335.[path ] ] we also have @xmath336 so @xmath337 these imply @xmath338 note that for all @xmath339 we have @xmath340 thus , ( [ aug2102 ] ) gives @xmath341 implying @xmath342 from ( [ aug2104 ] ) it now follows that @xmath343 thus , lemma [ lemma : d2vx ] applies to @xmath344 and yields ( together with the above estimates ) @xmath345 then implies @xmath346 which gives .
we now consider an initial condition @xmath32 with an arbitrary number of patches and arbitrary values of @xmath347 as in the statement of theorem [ thmeuler1 ] , and extend it as an odd function to @xmath348 . by
? * theorems 8.1 and 8.2 ) , there is a unique global weak solution @xmath44 to with the whole plane flow @xmath349 and the initial data @xmath6 , in the sense that @xmath350dxdt\ ] ] for all @xmath351 and @xmath352)$ ] .
this solution is also a collection of vortex patches @xmath353 with @xmath354 for each @xmath61 ( * ? ? ?
* chapter 2 , theorem 3.1 ) .
note that @xmath123 is uniquely defined for any @xmath355 , due to the time - uniform log - lipschitz apriori bound @xmath356 for @xmath42 ( see , e.g. , ( * ? ? ?
* lemma 8.1 ) ) , with the constant depending only on @xmath357 and @xmath358 .
uniqueness shows that @xmath44 remains odd in @xmath70 , thus its restriction to @xmath359 is also the unique weak solution to , ( and it is unique such with @xmath6 because an odd - in-@xmath70 extension of a weak solution on @xmath359 is a weak solution on @xmath360 ) .
it follows from , continuity of @xmath42 ( which is obtained as the last claim in lemma [ lemma : uniform_u_bound ] below but using instead of ) , and compactness of @xmath361 that holds for each @xmath362 . hence ,
if we show that @xmath363 is a family of disjoint simple closed curves for each @xmath179 , and @xmath364 } \max_k \|\omega_k(t)\|_{c^{1,\gamma}}<\infty\ ] ] for each @xmath351 , then @xmath44 will also be a @xmath27 patch solution to - on @xmath365 .
moreover , since @xmath27 patch solutions are weak solutions in the above sense as well ( it is easy to see that implies this ) , @xmath44 must then also be the unique patch solution .
note that yields @xmath366 for all @xmath179 , where @xmath367 decreases double exponentially in time .
this will ensure that the effects of the patches on each other will be controlled .
therefore , it remains to prove that each @xmath54 is a simple closed curve with @xmath368 uniformly bounded on bounded intervals .
let us decompose @xmath369 with each @xmath370 coming from the contribution of the patch @xmath371 to @xmath42 .
if @xmath372 , then obviously @xmath373 for all @xmath374 .
this yields @xmath375 for @xmath372 .
also , simple scaling shows that now becomes ( for each @xmath376 and with @xmath377 defined analogously to @xmath378 ) @xmath379 we now consider a separate @xmath380 and @xmath381 for each @xmath382 , all @xmath380 evolving with velocity @xmath42 .
we also add @xmath383 in the definitions of @xmath240 and @xmath384 and @xmath385 in the definition of @xmath241 .
we can repeat the proof above , with replaced by ( for each @xmath61 and @xmath362 ) @xmath386 where @xmath387 then is replaced by @xmath388 from this and , a simple computation shows that @xmath389 satisfies @xmath390 since @xmath391 increases at most double exponentially in time , it follows that @xmath392 increases at most triple exponentially . as before
, this implies that each @xmath54 is a simple closed curve with @xmath368 uniformly bounded on bounded intervals .
hence @xmath44 is a global @xmath27 patch solution to - , thus finishing the proof .
let us start with a simple geometric result concerning the behavior of @xmath217 near @xmath229 , which is similar to the geometric lemma in @xcite .
it says that @xmath393 is sufficiently `` flat '' .
[ geometry_lemma ] given @xmath321 , let @xmath394 , and @xmath395 if @xmath254 is a unit vector and @xmath396 , then the following hold .
if @xmath397 and @xmath398 , then @xmath399 . if @xmath400 and @xmath398 , then @xmath401 .
[ lemma : geometric ] in particular , @xmath402 ( see figure [ claim ] ) . ( shaded ) , @xmath403 , and @xmath404 ( lined ) . [ claim ] ] we only prove the first statement , as the proof of the second is analogous .
let us assume @xmath405 and @xmath406 , with @xmath407 and @xmath408 .
so we must have @xmath410 because @xmath411 .
thus @xmath412 so either @xmath413 or @xmath414 .
let @xmath415 be from lemma [ lemma : geometric ] and let @xmath416 , where @xmath417 then @xmath418 and the unit inner normal to @xmath419 at @xmath229 is @xmath420 .
we have @xmath421 because if @xmath422 with @xmath407 and @xmath423 , then @xmath424 combining this with lemma [ lemma : geometric ] directly yields @xmath425 with @xmath426 the symmetric difference of @xmath290 and @xmath403 ( the lined region in figure [ claim ] ) .
let @xmath427 be the velocity field corresponding to the disc @xmath403 .
when @xmath428 , we have by the rotational invariance of @xmath429 ( and with @xmath430 the outer unit normal vector to @xmath431 ) @xmath432 differentiating this and noting that @xmath433 yields @xmath434 from the definitions of @xmath435 and @xmath429 we also have ( with some @xmath311 and a new @xmath285 ) @xmath436 finally , note that @xmath437 this holds because if @xmath438 with @xmath407 and @xmath439 , then @xmath440 ( due to @xmath441 ) , hence @xmath442 . also , if @xmath443 , then @xmath444 from these , , and @xmath445 for @xmath446 we now have @xmath447 this , , and now yield @xmath448 so the result follows from @xmath449 .
in this section we prove theorem [ main1234 ] , which is an immediate corollary of theorem [ t.6.1 ] below .
let @xmath55 and @xmath450 be a small @xmath57-dependent number , to be determined later .
let @xmath451 , @xmath452 , @xmath453 , and let @xmath454 be an open set whose boundary is a smooth simple closed curve and which satisfies @xmath455 .
let @xmath44 be the unique @xmath24 patch solution to - with the initial data @xmath456 and the maximal time of existence @xmath457 . here
, @xmath458 is the reflection of @xmath459 with respect to the @xmath70-axis .
then oddness of @xmath32 in @xmath23 and the local uniqueness of the solution imply that @xmath460 for @xmath461 , with @xmath462 and @xmath463 the reflection of @xmath172 with respect to the @xmath70-axis .
note that @xmath172 is well - defined due to theorem [ t.1.1bis](a ) and @xmath133 ) .
we will show that @xmath65 , that is , @xmath44 becomes singular in finite time . more specifically , let @xmath464^{1/2\alpha } \quad\text{for $ t\in[0,t]$,}\ ] ] so that @xmath465 on @xmath466 $ ] , with @xmath467 and @xmath468 , and let @xmath469 for @xmath470 $ ] .
we will show that if @xmath471 , then @xmath472 for all @xmath470 $ ] .
this yields a contradiction because then @xmath473 and @xmath474 touch at the origin ( and thus they also can not remain @xmath24 ) . this result will , in fact , hold for the less regular @xmath27 patches , but in this case we need to assume oddness of @xmath44 in @xmath23 ( this is not immediate from the same property of @xmath32 without knowing local uniqueness in this class ) . before we can prove the result , however , we need to obtain some estimates on the velocity @xmath42 , the most crucial of which is proposition [ p.6.3 ] .
_ the fact that the fraction on the right - hand side of ( [ aug2110 ] ) blows - up as @xmath477 may seem worrying but @xmath478 will go to zero quickly as @xmath477 ( and @xmath479 $ ] ) , so this growth will be compensated by the term @xmath480 which decays as @xmath477 .
[ lemma : uniform_u_bound ] for @xmath25 and @xmath121 as in with @xmath481 , we have @xmath482 and @xmath483 furthermore , if @xmath44 is weak-@xmath484 continuous as an @xmath485-valued function on a time interval @xmath486 $ ] , and is supported inside a fixed compact subset of @xmath487 for every @xmath488 $ ] , then @xmath42 is continuous on @xmath489 $ ] .
let @xmath490 be the odd extension of @xmath491 to the whole plane .
the bio - savart law for @xmath492 then becomes @xmath493 and follows from @xmath494 to prove , consider any @xmath495 with @xmath496 . then @xmath497 combining this with yields . it remains to prove the last claim . since the kernel in is @xmath498 on any compact subset of @xmath487 ,
the assumptions show that @xmath42 is continuous in @xmath488 $ ] for any fixed @xmath499 .
the claim now follows from uniform continuity of @xmath42 in @xmath499 , see . for @xmath500 ,
we denote @xmath501 and @xmath502 if @xmath503 is odd in @xmath23 , then becomes ( we drop @xmath126 from the notation in this sub - section ) @xmath504 where @xmath505 @xmath506 let us start with some simple observations about @xmath507 and @xmath508 .
our goal will be to show that if the solution with the initial data from exists globally , in which case @xmath518 on @xmath519 by symmetry , then the patch @xmath172 and its reflection across the @xmath70 axis must touch at the origin in finite time , which is a contradiction .
in particular , we will need to show that @xmath520 is sufficiently negative in an appropriate subset of @xmath519 ( at least for some time ) .
we will do this by separately estimating the `` bad '' part @xmath521 of the integral in , ( where @xmath522 ) and the `` good '' part @xmath523 ( where @xmath524 ) .
we will also obtain similar estimates for the @xmath525 analogs @xmath526 @xmath527 let @xmath25 and assume that @xmath44 is odd in @xmath23 and @xmath528 on @xmath519 . + ( a ) if @xmath529 and @xmath530 , then @xmath531 + ( b ) if @xmath529 and @xmath532 , then @xmath533 [ lemma : bad_parts_u1 ] \(a ) as @xmath518 on @xmath519 , it follows from lemma [ lemma : observation_u1](a , b ) that @xmath534 the equality holds due to identity @xmath535 that can be verified by a change of variables @xmath536 .
now , the change of variables @xmath537 , symmetry , together with the assumption @xmath538 , yield @xmath539 the proof of part ( b ) is analogous to ( a ) . in the estimate of the `` good '' parts of @xmath540
we will in addition assume that for some @xmath541 we have @xmath542 on the triangle @xmath543 which is depicted in figure [ fig : def_a ] .
this assumption will feature in the proof of the comparison - principle - type result @xmath472 ( mentioned above ) in the next sub - section .
[ lemma : u1_good ] let @xmath25 and assume that @xmath44 is odd in @xmath23 and for some @xmath544 we have @xmath545 on @xmath519 , with @xmath546 from .
there exists @xmath547 , depending only on @xmath57 , such that the following hold .
+ ( a ) if @xmath548 , then @xmath549 + ( b ) if @xmath550 , then @xmath551 \(a ) using lemma [ lemma : observation_u1](a ) and then changing variables @xmath536 , we obtain @xmath552 with @xmath553 . since the last two integrands are the same , after a cancellation due to the opposite signs we obtain @xmath554 with the domains @xmath555 illustrated in figure [ fig : def_a1_a2 ] .
since for @xmath557 we have @xmath558 , we obtain @xmath559 to control @xmath238 , we first note that its integrand is positive , so we can get a lower bound on @xmath238 by only integrating over @xmath560 $ ] . for @xmath561
we have @xmath562 which yields @xmath563 this gives @xmath564 . \end{split}\ ] ] putting the estimates for @xmath238 and @xmath239 together yields @xmath565 x_1^{1 - 2\alpha}.\ ] ] the result now follows for some small enough @xmath566 .
\(b ) using lemma [ lemma : observation_u1](c ) and then the change of variables @xmath567 , we obtain @xmath568 with @xmath569 . since the last two integrands are the same , after a cancellation due to the opposite signs we obtain @xmath570 with the domains @xmath571 illustrated in figure [ fig : def_b1_b2 ] .
the change of variables @xmath573 in the second integral then yields @xmath574 since the integrand is positive , and for @xmath575 we have @xmath576 > 2|x - y|^2\ ] ] due to @xmath577 , it follows that @xmath578 on this domain of integration we have @xmath579 , so @xmath580 \\ & = \left [ \frac{1}{4\cdot 8^{\alpha } \alpha } - \frac{1}{2^{2+\alpha } \alpha } x_2^{2\alpha } \right ] x_2^{1 - 2\alpha}. \end{split}\ ] ] the result now follows for some small enough @xmath566
. [ p.6.3 ] let @xmath55 and assume that @xmath44 is odd in @xmath23 and for some @xmath544 we have @xmath581 on @xmath519 , with @xmath546 from .
then there exists @xmath547 , depending only on @xmath57 , such that the following hold .
+ ( a ) if @xmath582 , then @xmath583 + ( b ) if @xmath584 , then @xmath585 let us now return to the setting from the beginning of this section .
the initial condition we consider is odd in @xmath23 , and the resulting unique @xmath24 patch solution is also odd .
we will run the blow - up argument in the class of the less regular @xmath27 patch solutions to - , and show that any such solution either has a finite maximal time of existence ( i.e. , loss of existence ) or stops being odd ( i.e. , loss of uniqueness ) .
of course , the latter can not happen for the @xmath24 patch solution .
[ t.6.1 ] let @xmath55 and @xmath591 be small enough .
let @xmath130 be given by , with a bounded open @xmath592 such that @xmath593 and @xmath594 is a smooth simple closed curve .
then for any @xmath595 , there is no odd - in-@xmath23 @xmath27 patch solution @xmath44 to - on any interval @xmath596 with @xmath597 .
let us assume that such a solution exists and let @xmath598 be from - .
the solution then has the form , and we will show that @xmath472 for each @xmath470 $ ] . this is a contradiction because then the patches @xmath473 and @xmath474 touch at @xmath599 . as @xmath600 , lemma [ lemma : uniform_u_bound ] implies @xmath601 for
all @xmath470 $ ] .
since @xmath116 is continuous in @xmath470 $ ] with respect to the hausdorff distance of sets , the lemma also shows that @xmath42 is continuous on @xmath602 $ ] .
consider @xmath547 from proposition [ p.6.3 ] and let the constant @xmath478 in satisfy @xmath603 we know from that the function @xmath604 is continuous on @xmath466 $ ] .
hence , if @xmath605 is not contained in @xmath172 at some @xmath470 $ ] , then there is the first time @xmath606 $ ] such that @xmath607 . as @xmath608 , we have @xmath609 and @xmath610 .
let us assume that such @xmath611 exists and let @xmath612 then @xmath613 , the estimate , and @xmath614 imply @xmath615 \cap \omega_3=\emptyset,\ ] ] where we also used that symmetry and theorem [ t.1.1bis ] yield @xmath616 for any @xmath470 $ ] . as @xmath611 is the first time with @xmath607 , it follows that there exists some @xmath617 \cap [ i_1\cup i_2],\ ] ] where @xmath618 and @xmath619 is the closed straight segment connecting the points @xmath620 and @xmath621 ( see figure [ fig : t1 ] ) . if @xmath624 , then the triangle @xmath546 defined in and depicted in figure [ fig : def_a ] satisfies @xmath625 because @xmath626 hence proposition [ p.6.3](a ) and @xmath627 yield @xmath628 since @xmath629 for any @xmath88 and @xmath42 is continuous , it follows from this and that for any sufficiently small @xmath630)$ ] we have @xmath631 \neq \emptyset.\ ] ] from and @xmath632 we now obtain @xmath633 for these @xmath634 , a contradiction with the choice of @xmath611 .
if now @xmath635 , so that @xmath636 , a similar argument and proposition [ p.6.3](a , b ) yield @xmath637 for @xmath638 , and thus @xmath639 \neq \emptyset\ ] ] for all small enough @xmath640 .
we again obtain a contradiction because @xmath641 implies @xmath642 .
a. castro , d. crdoba , c. fefferman , f. gancedo and m. lpez - fernndez , _ rayleigh - taylor breakdown for the muskat problem with applications to water waves , ann . of math .
( 2 ) * 175 * ( 2012 ) , no .
2 , 909948 _ n. s. nadirashvili , _ wandering solutions of the two - dimensional euler equation , ( russian ) funktsional .
i prilozhen .
* 25 * ( 1991 ) , 7071 ; translation in _ funct .
_ 25 ( 1991 ) , 220221 ( 1992 ) _ | arxiv |
Bleach Busker through life
Hey! You! Don't worry, if you don't get most things. This is an AU fic, and a background to another story I'm currently still writting _(The flames of no one's eyes_). You could think of this as a prologue. Well, I'm still looking over it and writting the rest.
But, hey! This is other fic altogether, so let's not get too crazy 'bout it. Anyways, do review this one if you find it to your liking. It's not much of a yaoi fic, though. It's more like "a glimpse of the beginning" of the real story -which is actually GrimmIchi, not ShuuRen like this one is.
Anywho, the basics:
Disclaimer: Not my characters, but Kubo Tite's. Also, references are not mine either (you'll see what I mean... I hope)
Slight yaoi: ShuuRen -don't like it then, well, none of my business, so no flaming 'bout that, 'k?
Reviews are a _MUST_! (Ok, no, they're not, but I'd really, really, really, really, really, _really _appreciate them... I probably made mistakes, so look them up and** DO tell me so I can fix them**)
* * *
**Busker through life**
It was a starlit-sky night in Karakura. The town was in its proper mood for a weekend, as if everyone suddenly decided to be in a good mood for the evening. Yet, as good as one's mood might be, it would not make any difference if the person's heart was still trapped in a cage. Therefore, a single busker sitting on the edge of a public park's fountain played his sorrows throughout the night, hoping to vanquish any sorrows that the people passing by might have hidden inside themselves, protected by the false daily smile on their lips.
Of course no busker could actually heal people that fast — probably no one could. But if only a single soul would show a genuine smile for the songs he played, the busker would be terrifically joyful for as much as he could. As long as I can see a smile today, he thought.
As the night passed by and it became late, the busker decided to play his last song for the evening. He had waited long before he played that one because it was his ace, the best song he ever played a cover of.
And as expected, it was the best hit so far.
People gathered around him — mostly couples who were enjoying the last of their night out — and the tips he received for his wonderful ability with the guitar _and _his voice had never been so generous. It felt a little disappointing the fact that the popularity came from the song he was playing, but he had practiced for many years and if he had played that same song when he had no skills whatsoever the result would most probably not be the same, so he settled with playing putting all his feelings into it.
As the song came to the end, the busker received many positive comments from the watchers. His income had also been great so he would probably have enough to eat for the whole week. It was a good thing he was a light eater, but with that quality of life his once beautifully sculpted muscles were not as grand as they used to be. They looked smaller and smaller as the days passed, but he would still look gorgeous — perhaps too gorgeous to be nothing other than a street performer.
After he thanked the audience, one by one the people around him started scattering, commenting positively about the busker's small show. It made him happy to see happy people, so the faint smile on his lips was sincere, though filled with a background tint of sadness. Maybe nostalgia.
That was when he noticed one of the listeners had not turned around to leave yet. Instead, he was staring intensely at the busker's eyes. He blinked with confusion: had he been that good that now he had fans? After feeling a little uncomfortable with the silence, he looked up to see who the fan was. The night lights reflected on the man's long red hair, tied up in a ponytail. He was tall, very tall, and he had tattoos all over his body — front, eye brows, neck, chest, arms, and the rest was not visible. He wore a plain white T-shirt that hang from his shoulders — as if the collar had been purposely torn off —, half-tight black jeans and red canvas snickers. A red blouse hanged from his waist and a silver chain from his neck.
Their eyes locked. There was something very weird about the red haired fan, who kept staring fiercely at the busker as if he had something to say, but could not quite find the right words. And so the busker beat him to it:
"Hey, what's your name?" he asked the fan.
"A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-Aba-"
"Aba—?"
"Abarairenji!" The fan blushed hard as he vomited his name out all at once.
"Abarai? Pleased to meet you, Abarai-san, my name is Hisagi Shuuhei."
The fan seemed to have relaxed a little. "Hisagi-san, I... I loved your performance."
"Is that so? Thank you very much."
"You see I... was passing by and I... saw you and uhh... You, I mean, would you like to..."
"Have some coffee with you before all the café's around here are closed? I would love to."
"Wha—?, how did you—? But, I—," the red haired man said, and after each unfinished sentence he blushed harder.
"I kind of had the same idea. Come on, let's go," Shuuhei encouraged him while pushing him by the fan's upper back. The busker noticed the man was taller than him, even though he considered himself to be rather tall. How come he was so uke-ish?
Later on, they were both drinking iced coffee inside a nearby café. The coffee was awful so they both had left their drinks forgotten on the table. Renji was way more communicative and actually talked more naturally, asking many questions about the busker's life. Shuuhei managed to answer most of them, but some made him remember of his life before becoming a busker.
It had not been a bad life. It had been great, but the parting had been too painful. Too many bad things happened at once, and all he could do was help the young lady run away from the mansion. In the end he got himself banished and was forced to live in poverty. He missed those days when he would talk with the young lady about video games and anime. If only Kuchiki-sama had not given to that organization's demands... Shuuhei had desperately tried to convince his master that it was a trap, but to no avail — maybe Hisana going missing for that long made him hope for what was not possible. Such a shame that it was the young lady the one who had to suffer for it.
"Hisagi-san? Are you okay? You've been nodding to everything I said. And that includes 'what's the first rock song you learned to play' and 'pink umbrella'."
"Oh, sorry, Abarai-san. I was thinking too much, that's all."
Maybe eventually those days of friendship with the young lady will return, he thought, I just hope it is not a too far away future. He sipped his iced coffee.
"Shit, I forgot how these things suck," Shuuhei said.
"I know, right?" said his fan, "Makes one want to create his own café — one that makes real, tasty frappes."
"Hey, that's brilliant! When I gather enough money I'm gonna have my own café!" It was random, but it was definitely a good way to eventually meet the young lady again. He was sure that she would soon find a new home, even though he had yet find one for himself. It was too bad that when they ran away he had to serve as a distraction, and so they never met again since that day.
"Hey, I'll— I'll help you."
"Oh, no, I can't possibly ask you for such a thing, and—," Shuuhei started saying, when he was interrupted.
"Shut up, I want to! I have some connections and you could easily start your own business! You said you went to college, right?"
"Yeah, I did a superior course in Gastronomy, Computer Science and—"
"Wow, wait, how old are you again?"
"Twenty four, why?"
"So like, you have a degree on all those things... How?"
"I, uhh, finished high school two years earlier and studied Gastronomy and Comp. Science simultaneously."
"And you're a busker, _why_?" Renji asked in a sharp tone, reminding Shuuhei of a certain Nic******on's show that used to be very popular.
"Because there isn't any big job opportunities in this town, in which half of the population is made out of students. Apparently there's also too many cooks around for one to get a job that easily and, well, uhh..."
"And...?"
"And I never passed any interview with this 69 tattoo on my face, you know..."
They stared at each other, grinned and then burst into laughter.
And so the busker found himself something other than music to play. Yet, it was something as beautiful as chords ringing in sintony, one after another, eventually forming songs, symphonies, soundtracks. It was hope.
* * *
A/N: Eventually I might add a link to a DA bleach fanart I'm working with right now that is themed with this fic. For now -YOU THERE DON'T RUN AWAY LIKE RUKIA DID: LEAVE A REVIEW~~~~~ -Ahem, for now, I hope y'all liked this.
End file.
| fanfiction |
contagion processes such as infectious diseases , opinion formations , and information propagations , are ubiquitous in our networked society .
network science has shown the profound impact that network structures give on such spreading behaviors @xcite .
an epidemic can spread globally and infect a large number of individuals even if its infection rate is infinitesimally small , when the underlying network is highly heterogeneous @xcite ; such events can be described by simple infectious disease models , such as the susceptible - infected - removed ( sir ) model @xcite and the susceptible - infected - susceptible model @xcite .
extensive studies @xcite on simple epidemic models in complex networks have developed accurate approximations with which the time evolution of epidemic spreading is well described @xcite , and they have discovered new phenomena owing to the complex structure of the networks , such as the localization of epidemics @xcite and the stretching of criticality @xcite . alongside these studies , a similar amount of effort has been devoted to contagion processes in social dynamics in order to recognize the effect of network connecting individuals on human behaviors , such as opinion formations and the propagation processes of information , innovations , and transient fads @xcite .
social reinforcement , which means that an individual requires multiple prompts from neighbors before adopting information , has received attention in recent years .
centola confirmed the effect of social reinforcement in individuals behavior through experiments on online social networks @xcite .
after this , several social contagion models incorporating social reinforcement have been proposed @xcite .
krapivsky et al .
@xcite put forward a mathematical model for transient fads , which we call the fad model .
the fad model is a variant of the sir model , in which intermediate states are added between the s and i states ( corresponding to uninformed and adopter in the fad context , respectively ) .
this model was analyzed by the rate equation which assumes a well - mixed population ( i.e. , the mean - field approximation ) and it showed that its transition is explosive in the sense that , at a certain value of infection rate , the number of individuals that adopted information suddenly grows and the order parameter discontinuously jumps from zero to a non - zero value .
we previously studied a discrete - time fad model in uncorrelated networks in order to confirm that discontinuous transition occurs when the network is not highly heterogeneous @xcite .
similar discontinuous transitions have been reported in generalized epidemic models @xcite .
very recently , the susceptible - weakened - infected - removed ( swir ) model , which is a variation of the sir model with an additional `` weakened '' state , has been studied @xcite .
branching process analysis and numerical simulations have demonstrated that , in random graphs , a single infected node in this model can trigger an infinite avalanche of macroscopic order ; this indicates the existence of a discontinuous transition within appropriate model parameters . in this paper
, we study the swir model placed in a network , but assume that an epidemic starts from a finite fraction of initially infected nodes ( seeds ) .
few studies have investigated the effect of initial conditions on sir - type epidemic models @xcite , although we have previously studied the sir model with a finite seed fraction in order to show that the critical infection rate , above which there is a giant cluster of r nodes in a network , crucially depends on the seed fraction @xmath0 @xcite .
when this fraction is finite ( @xmath1 ) , each seed creates a cluster of r nodes and these clusters sometimes form a giant cluster by connecting with each other ; individuals seeds , however , do not have the potential to induce a global outbreak all by themselves . the critical infection rate of this sir model is , therefore , smaller than the so - called epidemic threshold . at rate above this threshold ,
a single seed can spread through the network ; but as long as @xmath1 , it does not exhibit any singularities at the threshold .
the aim of this paper is to observe what happens when @xmath0 for the swir model is finite .
we perform monte carlo simulations for the swir model in a regular random graph ( rrg ) so as to show that the discontinuity of the order parameter holds for the present case , and that the model also exhibits an ordinary percolation transition at a smaller rate .
we also investigate the swir model using approximate master equations ( ames ) @xcite in order to find that a discontinuous transition occurs if the degree of the underlying network is large and the seed fraction is small .
let us consider the swir model in a static network with @xmath2 nodes .
each node in the network takes one of the following four states : susceptible ( s ) , weakened ( w ) , infected ( i ) , or removed ( r ) . as an initial state of each trial ,
a fraction , @xmath0 , of nodes is randomly chosen as seeds and is initially i , while other nodes are s. the system evolves as @xmath3 dynamics stop when i nodes no longer exist in the network .
in other words , when only s , w , and r nodes remain . the case where @xmath4 corresponds to an ordinary sir model , whose transition is a continuous one .
the swir model shows a discontinuous transition when two additional processes ( @xmath5 and @xmath6 ) work effectively .
lee et al .
@xcite studied the time evolution of a giant cluster in an swir model in order to determine the mechanism causing explosive spreading to occur from a single seed .
choi et al .
@xcite investigated an swir model with a single seed and @xmath7 , @xmath8 , and @xmath9 in random graphs and found that the transition is rather mixed order ; what is meant by this is that an order parameter exhibits a discontinuous jump without any critical behavior while other physical quantities exhibit critical behaviors when the average degree is large . in our study
, we consider an swir model with @xmath7 and @xmath10 , which corresponds to the fad model containing one intermediate state .
when an s or w node is adjacent to an i node , this node becomes w or i , respectively , with probability @xmath11 within a short time @xmath12 .
this probability is independently given by each of the i nodes , and so the total infection rate at an s or w node is proportional to the number of i neighbors .
an i node becomes r at a rate @xmath13 irrespective of the neighbors states . without loss of generality , we set @xmath14 unless otherwise specified . in the rest of this section ,
we briefly review the sir model in an rrg in order to introduce the order parameter responsible for the characterization of the phase transition . when there is a single seed , or the fraction of infected seeds is infinitesimally small ( @xmath15 ) , the sir model undergoes a phase transition at the epidemic threshold , @xmath16 .
let us consider the mean fraction of the outbreak size ( the number of r nodes ) , @xmath17 , where @xmath18 represents the average taken over all trials . in the limit @xmath19 , the system has two phases : ( i ) the local epidemic phase where @xmath20 for @xmath21 and ( ii ) the global epidemic phase where @xmath22 for @xmath23 . around @xmath24 ,
the sir model exhibits typical critical behaviors with the same universality class as ( dynamic ) percolation @xcite .
when the dynamics start from a finite fraction of i nodes , @xmath1 , the phase transition can be described in terms of percolation @xcite . connected components of r nodes
are hereafter called r clusters . in the case of @xmath25
, a final state will contain numerous r clusters .
the order parameter can then be given as @xmath26 , where @xmath27 is the mean size of the largest r cluster .
the sir model has a critical infection rate @xmath28 such that @xmath29 decreases to zero as @xmath2 increases for @xmath30 and converges to a nonzero value with increasing @xmath2 for @xmath31 .
the phase transition at @xmath28 can be described in terms of percolation and its critical exponents are the same as those of percolation in the same network @xcite . the critical infection rate @xmath28 depends on the seed fraction @xmath0 , and deviates rapidly from the epidemic threshold @xmath16 as @xmath32 @xcite .
note that @xmath17 is not appropriate to describe the ( continuous ) transition for @xmath33 because @xmath34 , while , in the single seed case , r cluster is always unique and thus @xmath35 . in the following section , we study an swir model with @xmath7 and @xmath10 . as is expected from the mean - field dynamics @xcite , it shows a discontinuous transition when the underlying network is homogeneous . in order to investigate dynamics in some details , we focus on the rrg where all the nodes have the same degree @xmath36 . and ( b ) the fractal exponent @xmath37 for the swir model in the rrg with @xmath38 .
the two dotted lines represent @xmath39 ( left ) and @xmath40 ( right ) .
, title="fig:",width=283 ] and ( b ) the fractal exponent @xmath37 for the swir model in the rrg with @xmath38 .
the two dotted lines represent @xmath39 ( left ) and @xmath40 ( right ) . , title="fig:",width=283 ] and ( b ) the sample - to - sample fluctuation of the largest cluster size , as a function of @xmath41 .
the two dotted lines represent @xmath39 ( left ) and @xmath40 ( right ) .
, title="fig:",width=283 ] and ( b ) the sample - to - sample fluctuation of the largest cluster size , as a function of @xmath41 .
the two dotted lines represent @xmath39 ( left ) and @xmath40 ( right ) .
, title="fig:",width=283 ]
first , we perform monte carlo simulations for the swir model in the rrg with @xmath38 . the number of nodes is @xmath42 , and @xmath43 .
the number of graph realizations is 100 , and the number of trials on each graph is 500 .
seeds are randomly chosen at each trial and the fraction of seeds is @xmath44 .
the order parameter @xmath29 is shown in fig .
[ fig - orderparameter ] ( a ) for the rrgs of several sizes .
the @xmath2-dependence of the order parameter indicates that there are two critical infection rates : @xmath45 , below which @xmath29 tends to zero as @xmath2 increases and above which @xmath29 converges to a nonzero value ; and @xmath46 , around which @xmath29 rises more sharply in larger networks and eventually shows a discontinuous jump in the limit @xmath19 . in order to obtain the first critical rate , @xmath45 , numerically , we evaluate the fractal exponent , @xmath47 ( @xmath48 ) , of the largest r cluster , @xmath49 @xcite . the fractal exponent in finite networks , @xmath50 ,
is given and approximated by @xmath51 .
as @xmath2 increases , @xmath50 goes to zero for @xmath52 and to one for @xmath53 , thereby reflecting that @xmath54 for @xmath52 and @xmath55 for @xmath53 . as shown in fig .
[ fig - orderparameter ] ( b ) , @xmath50 of several networks of different sizes crosses at a unique point , giving @xmath39 .
the transition at @xmath45 is of an ordinary percolation , @xmath56 at @xmath57 , and @xmath27 around @xmath45 obeys a finite size scaling @xcite if @xmath58 with @xmath59 is assumed ( not shown ) .
the values of @xmath47 and @xmath60 obtained here are also observed for the sir model with @xmath1 in the rrg @xcite .
an apparent oscillatory deviation from @xmath61 is seen at @xmath40 ; however , this deviation is a finite size effect due to the occurrence of the discontinuous jump .
indeed , the width of the deviating region tends to shrink as the size increases .
the discontinuous jump of the order parameter at @xmath46 is due to the additional state w. as shown in fig .
[ fig - s1 ] ( a ) , the fraction of w nodes @xmath62 shows characteristic behavior around @xmath46 : @xmath62 increases with @xmath41 below @xmath46 , jumps to a peak value at @xmath46 , and then decreases above @xmath46
. a large number of w nodes are necessary for the strong activation of the @xmath63 process to occur just before the explosive growth of r clusters , as has previously been mentioned for the case of single seed @xcite . in the case of a finite seed fraction ,
such abundant w nodes are supplied more efficiently because a number of w nodes peripheral to the finite r clusters are created by abundant seeds .
although the system already has a macroscopic order for @xmath64 ( the largest r cluster size @xmath27 becomes @xmath65 ) , the system exhibits a characteristic behavior ; this behavior is that the largest r cluster remains very small for @xmath66 and before growing explosively at @xmath46 .
the sample - to - sample fluctuation of the largest r cluster size , @xmath67 , shows a higher peak at @xmath46 than at @xmath45 , although both peaks grow with @xmath2 and eventually diverge when @xmath68 ( fig .
[ fig - s1 ] ( b ) ) .
, as a function of @xmath41 for the swir model in the rrg with @xmath38 .
the solid line is drawn from the ames , and the symbols represent monte carlo results .
the two dotted lines represent @xmath39 ( left ) and @xmath40 ( right ) .
, width=283 ] next , we describe the swir model in an infinitely large rrg of @xmath69 using the approximate master equations ( ames ) @xcite .
let @xmath70 , @xmath71 , @xmath72 , and @xmath73 be the fractions of s , w , i , and r nodes , respectively , having @xmath74 susceptible , @xmath75 weakened , and @xmath76 infected neighbors ( the remaining @xmath77 neighbors are removed ) at time @xmath78 .
the conservation law , @xmath79 , holds for any value of @xmath78 .
note that s and w nodes change their states to w and i , respectively , with the rate @xmath80 if they have @xmath76 infected neighbors .
following @xcite ( see also @xcite ) , we obtain the master equation for the evolution of each density as @xmath81 \nonumber \\ & + { \beta_{\rm s}^{{\rm wi}}}[(m+1)s_{\ell , m+1,n-1}-m s_{\ell , m , n}]+ \mu [ ( n+1)s_{\ell , m , n+1}- n s_{\ell , m , n } ] , \label{eq : ames - s } \\
\dot w_{\ell , m , n } = & \lambda n s_{\ell , m , n}- \lambda n w_{\ell , m , n } + { \beta_{\rm w}^{{\rm sw}}}[(\ell+1)w_{\ell+1,m-1,n}-\ell w_{\ell , m , n } ] \nonumber \\ & + { \beta_{\rm w}^{{\rm wi}}}[(m+1)w_{\ell , m+1,n-1}-m w_{\ell , m , n}]+ \mu [ ( n+1)w_{\ell , m , n+1}- n w_{\ell , m , n } ] , \label{eq : ames - w } \\ \dot i_{\ell , m , n } = & \lambda n w_{\ell , m , n } - \mu i_{\ell , m , n}+ { \beta_{\rm i}^{{\rm sw}}}[(\ell+1)i_{\ell+1,m-1,n}-\ell i_{\ell , m , n } ] \nonumber \\ & + { \beta_{\rm i}^{{\rm wi}}}[(m+1)i_{\ell , m+1,n-1}-m i_{\ell , m , n}]+ \mu [ ( n+1)i_{\ell , m , n+1}- n i_{\ell , m , n } ] , \label{eq : ames - i } \\ \dot r_{\ell , m , n } = & \mu i_{\ell , m , n}+ { \beta_{\rm r}^{{\rm sw}}}[(\ell+1)r_{\ell+1,m-1,n}-\ell r_{\ell , m , n } ] \nonumber \\ & + { \beta_{\rm r}^{{\rm wi}}}[(m+1)r_{\ell , m+1,n-1}-m r_{\ell , m , n}]+ \mu [ ( n+1)r_{\ell , m , n+1}- n r_{\ell , m , n } ] .
\label{eq : ames - r}\end{aligned}\ ] ] [ eq : ame ] in each of these equations , @xmath82 represents the rate at which a randomly chosen neighbor of a randomly chosen node in the state x ( @xmath83 s , w , i , r ) changes its state from y ( @xmath83 s , w ) to z ( @xmath83 w , i ) ; this can be approximated as the rate at which an x - y edge is changed to an x - z edge @xcite , as shown in the below equations .
@xmath84 in these equations , the summations run over all @xmath85 .
the initial state where a fraction @xmath86 of nodes is randomly chosen as seeds is given by @xmath87 by evaluating the ames ( [ eq : ame ] ) with this initial condition , we obtain the total density of each state at time @xmath78 as @xmath88 in fig . [
fig : ame - r ] , we plot the fraction of r nodes , @xmath17 , in the final states using the ames and the monte carlo simulations . here
@xmath89 for the ames .
the ames clearly show that there is a discontinuous jump of @xmath17 at @xmath40 , where a jump of @xmath29 has already been observed numerically . indeed
, the monte carlo simulations support the solutions of the ames : data related to @xmath90 approaches the line drawn by the ames as @xmath2 increases .
, in the rrgs with @xmath44 and @xmath91 , and @xmath92 ( from the left to the right ) , and ( b ) mean final fraction of the removed nodes , @xmath17 , in the rrg with @xmath38 , and @xmath93 , and @xmath94 ( from the left to the right ) .
the symbols and lines are obtained by evaluating the ames .
, title="fig:",width=283 ] , in the rrgs with @xmath44 and @xmath91 , and @xmath92 ( from the left to the right ) , and ( b ) mean final fraction of the removed nodes , @xmath17 , in the rrg with @xmath38 , and @xmath93 , and @xmath94 ( from the left to the right ) .
the symbols and lines are obtained by evaluating the ames .
, title="fig:",width=283 ] utilizing the ames for the swir model in the rrg with given values of @xmath0 and @xmath36 , we obtain the final density of each state with high accuracy and a short computation time , considering the @xmath36-dependence and @xmath0-dependence of @xmath17 . in fig .
[ fig : ame - dependence ] ( a ) , we plot @xmath17 for the case of @xmath44 when the degree of the rrg changes ( @xmath95 , and @xmath92 ) . for a fixed @xmath0 ,
the discontinuity of @xmath17 is clearer in networks with larger degrees .
this discontinuity , however , becomes weak as @xmath36 decreases and it disappears in rrgs with small degrees of @xmath36 ( i.e. , @xmath96 ) . in fig .
[ fig : ame - dependence ] ( b ) , we plot @xmath17 for the case where @xmath38 when the seed fraction changes ( @xmath97 , and @xmath94 ) .
we find that there is a discontinuous jump of @xmath17 when @xmath0 is small ; it becomes less prominent as @xmath0 increases , however , and it is eventually hard to distinguish an explosive spreading from the percolation of r clusters .
we observe that the phase transition of the swir model with multiple seeds consists of two components : a percolation of r clusters and an explosive spreading of infections .
the latter , however , disappears when @xmath0 is too large and/or @xmath36 is too small .
in this paper , we studied the spreading behaviors of the swir model in the rrgs .
as previous studies have shown , the swir model starting from a single infected node exhibits a discontinuous transition at a certain infection rate , but when starting from a finite fraction of infected seeds , the model shows three different regimes that depends on the infection rate : the local epidemic phase , @xmath98 , where clusters of removed nodes remains finite ; the low global epidemic phase , @xmath99 , where a giant cluster of removed nodes ( i.e. , a giant r cluster ) exists but the total fraction of removed nodes remains small ; and the high global epidemic phase , @xmath100 , where a giant r cluster occupies a large part of the network .
we showed numerically that the first transition at @xmath101 is continuous in the same manner as an ordinary percolation transition , and that the second transition at @xmath102 is discontinuous .
we formulated ames for the present model in order to demonstrate that the phase transition critically depends on both the degree of the underlying network and the fraction of initial seeds : the discontinuous transition disappears when the degree is small or when the seed fraction is large .
we focused on a simple version of the original swir model ( @xmath7 , @xmath10 , and @xmath14 ) .
however , the present results are expected to hold true for the swir model itself . in @xcite , we have studied a multi - stage independent cascade model , which corresponds to a discrete - time swir model of @xmath103 , and observed the same behavior , i.e. , a discontinuous change of the order parameter in a percolating region . as already mentioned , the present model is also used as a propagation model for innovations and transient fads @xcite .
the seed fraction determining whether a transition is continuous or discontinuous may be an important issue for viral marketing campaigns .
if there are few initial adopters ( seeds ) , a viral marketing campaign becomes an all - or - nothing venture , i.e. , there is only either complete success or complete failure , up to the influence between individuals .
the cost effectiveness of marketing is otherwise rather reasonable : increasing initial adopters , or making the information more attractive , is directly linked to the number of individuals who will adopt the information .
infectious diseases with finite fractions of infected seeds have been studied less than cases where there are single seed or infinitesimally small seed fractions .
we know of almost no other complex epidemic models with finite seed fractions . among complex epidemic models with finite seed fractions , a prospective
one is cooperative epidemics @xcite ; in these , the infection of one disease stimulates the spreading of others
. it will be interesting to see exactly how , and if , numerous seeds could cause catastrophic co - infections .
this work was partially supported by grant - in - aid for young scientists ( b ) ( no .
15k17716 ) , grant - in - aid for scientific research ( b ) ( no . 26310203 and no .
16h03939 ) , and grant - in - aid for scientific research ( c ) ( no .
16k05507 ) from the japan society for the promotion of science ( jsps ) , and by jst , erato , kawarabayashi large graph project . | arxiv |
oleanolic acid ( 3-hydroxy - olea-12-en-28-oic acid , oa ) is a pentacyclic triterpene acid which exists naturally in vegetable oil , food , and some medicinal herbs .
oa provides protection against experimental hepatic injury in rats and has been used as an oral remedy for human liver dysfunction [ 2 , 3 ] .
pretreatment with oa also considerably decreases augmentation of serum alanine transaminase ( alt ) activity and hepatic centrilobular necrosis induced by chemical hepatotoxicants in mice [ 4 , 5 ] .
surgeries such as liver transplantation , partial hepatic resection , and hepatic tumor resection may result in hepatic ischemia - reperfusion ( ir ) injury , which correlates with clinical reduction of liver function [ 6 , 7 ] .
a pathological consequence of the cessation of hepatic blood supply , followed by reperfusion , is cellular damage within the ischemic areas , which induce formation of reactive oxygen species , release of proinflammatory cytokines , and hepatocyte necrosis , ending in liver dysfunction . despite the evidence of oa protection against myocardial or cerebral ir injury [ 9 , 10 ] , the potential for this compound to attenuate hepatic ir - induced injury remains unexplored .
glycogen synthase kinase ( gsk-3 ) activity has recently been identified in a number of studies as crucial in the regulation of the inflammatory response [ 11 , 12 ] .
its inactivation is also involved in indirubin-3-oxime - induced protection against hepatic ir injury in rats .
phosphatidylinositol-3-kinase ( pi3k)/protein kinase b(akt ) dependent inhibition of gsk-3 activity plays an important role in the protective effects of carbon monoxide against hepatic ir injury .
these promising results prompted us to investigate the possible beneficial effects of oa pretreatment in rats submitted to partial hepatic ir . in a mechanistic approach , activation of the pi3k / akt pathway in hepatic tissue
sodium carboxymethylcellulose ( cmc - na ) was purchased from sinopharm ( shanghai , china ) .
wortmannin was purchased from sigma ( st . louis , usa ) and dissolved in dimethyl sulfoxide .
after approval by the institutional animal care and use committee at nanjing medical university ( nanjing , china ) , 160 male spf sprague - dawley rats ( 230250 g ) were purchased from slac laboratory animal co. , ltd .
they were maintained at a 12:12 h light : dark cycle and given water ad libitum .
partial hepatic ischemia was conducted by performing a midline laparotomy exposing the liver hilum , and subsequent clamping of portal structures to the left and median lobes with a microvascular clip , yielding 70% hepatic ischemia .
after 60 min of 70% hepatic ischemia , the clip was removed to initiate hepatic reperfusion .
the rectal temperature was maintained at 37 0.5c with a warming pad throughout the surgical process .
the rats were injected with buprenorphine ( 0.1 mg / kg s.c ) for postoperative analgesia ( five rats , three of them were from anesthetic accident and the remaining two rats from postoperative infection ) .
the 160 rats were randomly but evenly assigned to one of five groups : rats that received a sham operation ( sh group ) were submitted neither to the clamping procedure nor to drugs ; rats in the ir group underwent ir treatment without drug delivery ; rats in the cm group received 0.5% cmc - na once a day for seven days , followed by ir ; and rats in the oa group received 100 mg / kg oa once a day for seven days , followed by ir ; on the basis of treatment in group oa , group oa+wortmannin further received 15 g / kg of pi3k inhibitor wortmannin , intraperitoneally , 30 min prior to hepatic ir . oa suspension ( 20 mg / ml ) was made with 0.5% cmc - na aqueous solution . with regard to daily substance delivery , sh and ir rats received 2 ml physiological saline , the cm group received 0.5% cmc - na aqueous solution , and the oa group received oa suspension .
moreover , according to different time points for collecting serum and hepatic specimens , each group was further equally divided into the following four subgroups : preoperation ( prep ) , 0 h , 3 h , and 6 h after reperfusion .
rat livers were collected 6 h after ir and were cut into small tissue blocks ( about 1 cm in length , width , and height ) . after the blocks had been fixed with 10% buffered formalin solution , they were embedded in paraffin .
paraffin - embedded sections ( 10 m thick ) were prepared as usual for histological examination after hematoxylin and eosin staining .
serum alt activity and the concentrations of il-1 were measured by using alt assay kit ( jiancheng bioengineering , nanjing , china ) and il-1 elisa kit ( uscn , wuhan , china ) , respectively .
blood was taken from the postcaval vein at the four aforementioned time points and then centrifuged for 10 min .
alt activity in the serum was determined as described previously and expressed as international units per liter ( u / l ) .
production of il-1 in the serum was measured by elisa kit according to the manufacturer 's instructions .
total tissue extracts were obtained by lysing the liver in ice - cold ripa buffer in the presence of a cocktail of protease inhibitors ( roche , molecular biochemicals , mannheim , germany ) and phosphatase inhibitors ( 1 mm sodium fluoride and 1 mm sodium orthovanadate ) .
after centrifugation , protein concentrations were quantified using the bradford method , and 70 g of protein for each sample was subjected to 12% sodium dodecyl sulfate - polyacrylamide gel electrophoresis .
the blots were blocked with 5% milk powder and 0.1% tween 20 in 10 mm tris - hcl ( ph 7.5 ) at room temperature for 2 h and then incubated with rabbit anti - p - pi3k , p - akt , akt , p - gsk3 , and gsk3 ( 1 : 1000 , 1 : 1000 , 1 : 500 , 1 : 1000 , and 1 : 500 , resp . ) at 4c overnight . after three washes with tbs - t
, the blots were then incubated with horseradish peroxidase conjugated anti - rabbit secondary antibody at a dilution of 1 : 10,000 at room temperature for 1 h. the bound antibodies were visualized using an ecl system and exposed to x - ray films ( kodak , rochester , ny , usa ) .
the immunoblots were washed briefly and then incubated with a rabbit anti - gapdh ( 1 : 2000 ) for 40 min at room temperature , followed by a horseradish peroxidase conjugated anti - rabbit antibody .
gapdh protein was then visualized and detected as the loading biomarker of proteins mentioned above .
for the analysis of normally distributed data , one - way analysis of variance was used followed by dunnett 's t multiple comparison tests .
histologically , whereas necrotic areas were significantly decreased in the oa pretreated group at 6 h after reperfusion , the pi3k inhibitor wortmannin worsened the hepatic histological status ( figure 1 ) .
biochemically , the ir procedure strikingly increased serum alt activity at 3 h and 6 h after reperfusion , indicating that the partial hepatic ir model was established successfully ( figure 2 ; p < 0.05 ) . at the same time points , pretreatment with 0.5% cmc - na alone ( group cm ) did not affect serum alt activity , indicating that cmc - na , which was used as a suspending agent , had no effects on liver function .
in contrast , rats pretreated with 100 mg / kg oa had drastically inhibited serum alt activity at 3 h and 6 h after reperfusion ( p < 0.05 ) , which reflected protective effects of oa against ir - induced hepatic injury . when compared with group oa , inhibition of pi3k with 15 g / kg wortmannin increased serum alt activity at 3 h and 6 h after reperfusion ( p < 0.05 ) . however , serum alt activity at 3 h and 6 h after reperfusion in group oa+wortmannin was still lower than those in group ir and group cm ( p < 0.05 ) , suggesting that protective effects of oa involved only partially the pi3k pathway .
serum il-1 concentrations were increased following the ir procedure , not only at 0 h after reperfusion , but also at 3 h and 6 h after reperfusion in both ir and cm groups ( figure 3 ) .
however , these changes were markedly decreased by oa pretreatment ( p < 0.05 ) , indicating that oa exerted anti - inflammatory effects against systemic injury induced by partial hepatic ir .
furthermore , suppression of il-1 concentrations by oa pretreatment actually emerged at 0 h after reperfusion , prior to the decrease in alt activity . when compared with group oa , wortmannin increased serum il-1 concentration at 0 h , 3 h , and 6 h after reperfusion ( p < 0.05 ) .
however , the serum il-1 concentration at 3 h and 6 h after reperfusion in group oa+wortmannin remained lower than those in group ir and group cm ( p < 0.05 ) . to further evaluate the mechanism of oa - induced protective effects against ir - stimulated hepatic injury
, we explored the levels of p - pi3k , p - akt , total akt , p - gsk-3 , and total gsk-3 protein expression ( figures 4 , 5 , and 6 ) .
there were no significant differences in the basal levels of total akt and total gsk-3 protein expression among the four groups .
the ir procedure was followed by increased p - pi3k , p - akt , and p - gsk-3 protein synthesis at 3 h and 6 h after reperfusion ( p < 0.05 ) whether rats were pretreated with cmc - na or not . furthermore , oa pretreatment significantly increased p - pi3k , p - akt , and p - gsk-3 protein synthesis in ir - stimulated rat liver not only at preoperation , but also at 0 h , 3 h , and 6 h after reperfusion ( p < 0.05 ) .
these results indicated that preoperative oa treatment was an important activator of the pi3k / akt pathway .
the present work demonstrated that pretreatment with 100 mg / kg oa could reduce the liver injury caused by partial hepatic ir , as indicated by histological improvement and significant decreases in both serum alt activity and il-1 level .
these results were associated with a marked increase in p - pi3k , p - akt , and p - gsk-3 protein expression , strongly suggesting that pi3k / akt - mediated inactivation of gsk-3 may be involved in the protective effect of oa pretreatment towards ir - induced rat liver dysfunction .
inhibition of pi3k with 15 g / kg of wortmannin partially reversed the oa protective effects on ir - induced hepatic injury , which further supported the involvement of the pi3k / akt pathway .
the rat model with 70% hepatic ir experienced severe hepatic injury without obvious mesenteric venous hypertension .
mesenteric congestion was avoided by allowing intestinal blood flow through right and caudate lobes , which led to a satisfactory survival rate despite substantial hepatic ir injury .
one major hallmark of hepatic ir is inflammation - induced hepatopathology [ 19 , 20 ] . at ischemia stage , proinflammatory cytokines , such as il-1 , were instantly released . after reperfusion , neutrophils , triggered by proinflammatory cytokines ,
hepatic enzymes and reactive oxygen species are then released to aggravate the associated hepatic tissue injury [ 2325 ] .
oa exerts anti - inflammatory effects on lipopolysaccharide - induced inflammation by inhibiting hyperpermeability and leukocyte adhesion and migration .
it also exerts protective effects against hepatic injury by inducing antioxidant enzymes such as ho-1 .
our results confirmed the development of liver injury by markedly elevated alt activity and , indirectly , by il-1 concentrations , whereas oa pretreatment considerably reduced the enhancement of alt activity and il-1 concentrations induced by ir .
in addition , il-1 concentrations were suppressed prior to the reduction of alt activity , suggesting that systemic inflammatory responses induced by partial hepatic ir might be an important promoter for hepatic damage during the acute phase .
the pi3k / akt pathway has an endogenous negative regulatory function , which limits proinflammatory mediators and chemotactic events by reducing neutrophil infiltration and production of cytokines [ 2831 ] .
however , the role of the pi3k / akt pathway in the modulation of partial hepatic ir - induced injury was poorly understood . in our study , increased expression of the p13k / akt pathway in the absence of oa may be a compensatory mechanism to counteract cytokine release following ir .
the role of pi3k in a given signaling pathway is often examined by the use of pharmacological tools .
the pi3k inhibitor wortmannin has been successfully used to clarify the physiological roles of pi3k pathway . in our study , wortmannin partially reversed the protective effects of oa as shown by worsening histological status and increasing serum alt and il-1 levels .
our results also showed that oa pretreatment was able to further markedly enhance phosphorylation of pi3k and akt protein expression not only at the preoperative period , but also at 0 h , 3 h , and 6 h after reperfusion .
this finding was consistent with previous studies which have reported that activation of the pi3k pathway protected organs against ir injury [ 32 , 33 ] .
when n - terminal ser9 residue of gsk-3 is phosphorylated , the phosphate - binding pocket is occupied by an intramolecular interaction with the phosphorylated ser9 .
this interaction considerably inhibits gsk-3 activity by changing the conformation of the catalytic site and also by preventing the binding of the primed substrate .
the n - terminal ser9 residue of gsk-3 is within the consensus sequence of the substrates for akt .
a recent study has also shown that gsk-3 inactivation was involved in a propofol - induced protective effect against ir injury in an isolated guinea pig heart .
our data showed that the changes in p - gsk-3 paralleled the alterations of serum alt activity and il-1 expression .
these results also suggested that the pi3k / akt - mediated inactivation of gsk-3 might play an important role in hepatoprotective action owing to oa pretreatment .
firstly , we did not compare the oa effects on hepatic ir injury depending on whether the administration was done before or after ir .
indeed , although pretreatment with oa might exert protective effects in some selective hepatic surgeries , posttreatment may be more practical than pretreatment in clinical use since injury is unexpected .
secondly , pi3k inhibitor wortmannin only partially reversed the protective effects of oa on hepatic ir injury , so that further studies designed to investigate the overall mechanism of the oa protective effects are warranted .
our data suggest that oa pretreatment exerts hepatoprotective effects in a rat model of hepatic ir , likely involving the pi3k , p - akt , and p - gsk-3 pathways ( see schematic flow of oa 's role in decreasing hepatic ir injury in figure 7 ) .
we think that these findings may pave the road for future innovative therapeutic strategies in the field of ischemia - reperfusion related liver injury . | pubmed |
a 43-year - old male was brought to the emergency department due to inattention and transient episodic memory loss .
he was relatively healthy , except for taking medications for a headache that developed a year ago . for 2 weeks prior to admission , he showed excessive daytime sleepiness at work and an indifferent mood noticed by his colleague during a conference .
it took more than 2 hours to get home , which normally took 30 minutes . on the day of admission ,
his initial korean mini mental status exam ( k - mmse ) score was 27 out of 30 , showing a mild impairment in attention . on the following day
, k - mmse score had fallen to 19 out of 30 , showing a worsening of attention and mild impairment in memory recall .
a cerebral spinal fluid study showed high opening pressure of 330 mmh2o , but was acellular showing a nonspecific finding .
brain mri showed a davf in right lateral sinus with a bilateral thalamic venous infarction ( fig .
the following cerebral angiography confirmed a right transverse sigmoid davf with a feeding artery of the right occipital artery and left posterior meningeal artery ( fig .
endovascular embolization was performed three times due to a highly stenotic , compartmentalized sinus and small , tortuous vessels ( fig .
follow up brain mri taken one month later after embolization showed a remaining davf , though with a decreased signal change in the bilateral thalami . at the time of discharge , the follow - up k - mmse score showed improvement with a score of 27 out of 30 with improvement in attention and memory recall .
since there were some thrombus at the sagittal sinus and straight sinus , we decided to maintain warfarin anticoagulation . at the time of discharge ,
his mental status and mental function was well preserved and the patient had begun his normal daily life . follow up cerebral angiography performed 1 year later showed no evidence of a residual avf .
davfs manifest various symptoms in relation to the location of the lesion and pattern of venous drainage . if blood flow increases in dural venous sinuses , especially in the transverse and sigmoid sinus , the most common symptom is known as pulsatile tinnitus .
furthermore , a davf in the cavernous sinus has symptoms of ophthalmoplegia , proptosis , retro - orbital pain and decreased visual acuity .
there can be other neurologic deficits according to the various locations of the davf , such as seizure , parkinsonism and cerebellar symptoms .
as in our case , atypical symptoms , such as rapidly progressive dementia , can occur .
venous congestion and ischemia of the thalamus occurred through venous hypertension followed by retrograde cerebral blood flow that caused thalamic dementia . as far as we know , a davf case with cognitive impairment and transient memory loss is uncommon . in our case ,
the patient had bilateral thalamic congestion due to a davf located in the posterior fossa and showed episodic memory loss with inattention and disorientation .
this case is atypical since usually a tentorial davf with cortical venous drainage tends to offend the bilateral thalami and cause dementia .
the clinical feature of our patients could be thought as having memory impairment and inattention owing to the lesion involving the mamillothalamic tract that leads to neurocircuit dysfunction of limbic system .
patient with a davf of benign symptoms and a low - grade lesion can be managed with conservative care but some patients with a severe disease and complications need prompt endovascular repair . on the other hand , for patients with rapidly progressive dementia , prompt management of a davf
since a surgical approach could be more invasive and provoke severe complications such as hydrocephalus or hemorrhage , as in our case , complete obliteration of the davf can done by endovascular treatment alone .
the vast majority of davfs show a highly stenotic , compartmentalized , and isolated sinus and a relatively small , tortuous cortical vein .
transarterial embolization ( tae ) makes selective distal catheterization of arterial feeders possible through embolic agents such as particles , coils , ethanol , n - bca glue and onyx .
however , the successful elimination a davf by tae is known to be rare because davfs often involve multiple , small cerebral arteries that are difficult to approach . after a single endovascular treatment
, additional feeders may appear that results in a partially treated status that could later provoke complications such as hemorrhage .
therefore , absolute elimination of a davf is crucial if it 's decided to manage a davf through tae . in our case , even though multiple interventions were necessary due to a highly stenotic and tortuous vessel , complete elimination was achieved through endovascular approach alone .
other cases with an inaccessible route of the endovascular approach were treated through a combined surgical approach . as in this case series
, it is already known that endovascular treatment alone can achieve complete remission of a davf .
in addition to this , our case showed that prompt diagnosis and treatment of a davf manifesting a rapidly progressive dementia can achieve a good therapeutic result without surgical intervention .
as a conclusion , thalamic dementia caused by a davf located in posterior fossa is rare , but delayed recognition of its presence could cause irreversible ischemic damage of the thalamus .
so evaluation of a davf located in the posterior fossa in patients showing thalamic dementia is important .
in addition to emphasizing the importance of a quick diagnosis , our case showed that endovascular therapy alone can completely obliterate a davf located in the posterior fossa . | pubmed |
How are pencil marks "adhered" to the paper?
>
> Pencils create marks by physical abrasion, leaving behind a trail of solid core material that ***adheres*** to a sheet of paper or other surface. [Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pencil)
>
>
>
Normal paper is mainly composed of cellulose fibers, which were "funded" by the plants. And this "solid core material" is supposedly composed of graphite and a type of binder clay.
![Paper](https://i.stack.imgur.com/0tQvQ.jpg)
[Image source](http://www.chm.bris.ac.uk/emuweb/schools.htm)
"Adhering" is usually caused by intermolecular forces. (e.g.: when sugar adheres to wet surfaces because of Hydrogen bonding). The questions are:
* Is the case of a pencil mark some kind of intermolecular force too?
* If so, what is it?
The graphite itself can adhere to paper fibers with [London forces](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/London_dispersion_force); it's not a strong adhesion because the marks can be erased easily. Some of the graphite is just mechanically stuck between the paper fibers; rubbing a mark from a soft pencil can easily blur it. Enough graphite is deposited that [a line drawn by a pencil can conduct electricity](http://pubs.acs.org/cen/whatstuff/print/7942sci4.html).
The clay gives the lead structural integrity; an "H" pencil has a harder lead, and deposits less graphite; a "B" pencil is softer, and an "F" pencil can be sharpened to a finer point.
In my time as an art major, I made a lot of sketches using vine charcoal on newsprint. Vine charcoal has no binding clay, and the marks were easily smeared. On paper without much "bite", it was easy to lift the marks off completely with a piece of kneaded rubber, and if you wanted to keep a charcoal drawing (or a soft pencil drawing) you really had to spray it with a fixative.
So I'd say that it's possible that the binding clay also plays some role in binding the graphite or charcoal to the paper.
>
> In the manufacture of graphite pencils, air-classified grades of Volclay sodium
> bentonite and micronized hectorite are regularly used to bind the graphite
> compound in pencil lead. --- [American Colloid Company, Industrial and Household Applications](http://www.colloid.com/isg/Application-IndustrialAndHousehold.aspx)
>
>
>
Bentonite and hectorite both have ionic surfaces that probably help bind it to OH groups on the surface of cellulose fibers.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
synovial sarcoma is a rare soft tissue sarcoma accounting for approximately 8% of the soft tissue sarcomas .
it is a mesenchymal tumor with varied epithelial differentiation and is frequently associated with a translocation between chromosomes x and 18 . though synovial sarcoma predominantly affects the extremities of young adults , primary lesions have also been identified in the head and neck , abdominal wall , and thorax ( including the mediastinum , pericardium , pleura , and lung ) [ 2 , 3 , 4 ] .
a recent medline search revealed approximately 60 cases of primary pulmonary synovial sarcoma reported worldwide in the last 30 years .
we report the case of a female patient with primary pulmonary synovial sarcoma diagnosed and treated with neoadjuvant chemotherapy during pregnancy .
a 26-year - old caucasian female , g2p1 , at 21 weeks gestation with no other significant medical history presented to a community hospital with a dry cough and right - sided pleuritic chest pain , which radiated to her right shoulder .
she reported no family history of unusual or early - onset malignancies , she never smoked and she worked as a receptionist at a wastewater management company .
her previous pregnancy 2 years ago was uncomplicated and resulted in a healthy baby boy . on presentation , the patient was afebrile , tachypneic , and tachycardic with normal pulse oximetry .
her complete blood count was remarkable only for a low - grade normocytic anemia and her comprehensive metabolic panel was normal .
her symptoms and pregnancy - associated risk were suggestive of a pulmonary embolus , which prompted a ct of the chest with iv contrast .
the ct scan revealed a smooth , lobulated 6.5-cm mass in the right hilum ( fig .
one week after her initial presentation , the patient underwent bronchoscopy , which disclosed a mass arising in the airway .
h&e staining of the biopsied specimens revealed malignant spindle cells infiltrating endobronchial tissue ( fig .
additional stains for epithelial membrane antigen pancy - tokeratin ae1/3 , cam5.2 , desmin , smooth muscle actin , s-100 , and hmb45 were all negative .
fluorescence in situ hybridization performed on the formalin - fixed paraffin embedded tissue revealed two populations : a predominant population ( > 90% ) of polypoid cells with multiple copies of syt probe of which > 80% had the break - apart signal and a small population ( 10% ) of diploid cells showing the break - apart signal for syt probe .
the combined histopathology , immunohistochemistry , and fluorescence in situ hybridization studies confirmed the diagnosis of monophasic spindle cell synovial sarcoma .
it was unclear at presentation if this represented a metastatic or primary pulmonary synovial sarcoma . due to her pregnancy and possible fetal risk ,
the patient declined whole body imaging ( i.e. , pet - ct ) to survey for a possible primary source .
based on these clinical observations and testing , it was assumed that the lung mass was a primary pulmonary synovial sarcoma .
surgical resection , the only possible immediate cure , was deferred due to pregnancy as well as the size and proximity of the mass to vital structures .
neoadjuvant chemotherapy would necessarily focus on containing the growth of the mass , with hopes of inducing tumor necrosis , without causing undue harm to the fetus .
a literature review yielded data supporting clinical benefit and acceptable third - trimester fetal risk associated with ifosfamide [ 7 , 8 , 9 ] .
she was given 2 cycles of ifosfamide as follows : 2 g / m iv bolus over 4 h followed by 2 g / m / day as continuous iv infusions for 6 days ( the total dose given was 14 g / m / cycle ) each along with mesna .
the patient was then rushed to the operating room for an emergency c - section .
she delivered a baby boy , who , aside from typical prematurity - associated concerns , was healthy .
the patient 's follow - up chest ct after delivery showed approximately 30% decrease in the size of the primary mass ( fig .
after delivery , the patient was treated with two more cycles of standard neoadjuvant chemotherapy with mesna , adriamycin , and ifosfamide .
she also underwent a pet - ct , which showed increased metabolic activity solely at the site of the known lung malignancy and an estimated 30% decrease in the size of the primary mass .
she was then scheduled for right total pneumonectomy and mediastinal lymphadenectomy approximately 8 weeks after the birth of her son .
gross pathology revealed a large , white - tan , necrotic tumor mass in the right upper lobe extending inferiorly down into the interlobar fissure .
all 5 resected lymph nodes as well as the bronchial and vascular margins were free of tumor .
adjuvant mesna , adriamycin , and ifosfamide were offered , but the patient declined due to concerns about toxicity .
a pet - ct scan performed 5 months later revealed recurrent sarcoma and a 4.7-cm right hilar and hypermetabolic mass compressing the right main pulmonary artery and indenting the left atrium .
bronchoscopy with endobronchial ultrasound delineated a right hilar / paratracheal mass 34 cm in size , causing extrinsic compression of the left mainstem bronchus .
the patient developed fistulae involving the trachea , bronchus , pleura , and esophagus , followed by cardiomyopathy and pneumonia .
she eventually succumbed to her disease and passed away approximately 13 months after her diagnosis .
primary pulmonary sarcomas accounted for approximately 0.2% of all lung cancers in the usa between 1975 and 2007 .
immunohistochemistry can be helpful in diagnosis , but due to the variability in surface antigen expression , demonstration of the t(x;18)(p11.2;q11.2 ) is critical as a confirmatory test as it is present in 95% of all synovial sarcomas .
the diagnosis of cancer occurs once in every 1,000 pregnancies , with breast , uterine , and cervical cancer , lymphoma , and melanoma being the most common . to date
the first case was reported by sakurai et al . in 2006 and describes a 33-year - old female who presented with acute back pain and a left hemothorax in her fifth month of pregnancy .
reported the case of a young woman in the 34th week of gestation who presented with a pneumothorax .
since the patient was close to term , delivery was induced , allowing for expedited pneumonectomy and adjuvant chemotherapy .
most synovial sarcomas arise in the extremities and have a predilection to metastasize to the lung .
thus , when this neoplasm is found in the lung , a thorough evaluation for a remote primary lesion is needed .
this presents a challenge during pregnancy since standard whole - body imaging modalities are potentially harmful to the fetus .
this necessitated the reliance on a thorough physical exam for a primary lesion , which was not found .
complete surgical resection of the primary tumor , in this case via a right pneumonectomy , was also contraindicated due to pregnancy . to our knowledge , this is the first case of a pregnant patient with primary pulmonary synovial sarcoma treated with chemotherapy . | pubmed |
in a very interesting paper aharonov et al @xcite proposed the idea of a quantum random walk . here a random walker is constrained to move left or right depending on the state of an auxiliary quantum mechanical system .
one then examines the state of the random walker subject to the measurement of the state of the auxiliary system . as an interesting consequence of this
quantum random walk , aharonov et al @xcite found that the walker s distribution could shift by an amount which could be larger than the width of the initial distribution .
further the displacement could be much larger than the classical displacement .
several proposals @xcite exist for realizations of the quantum random walk .
for example aharonov et al gave a cavity qed model where the photon number distribution can get displaced .
sanders et al @xcite considered a dispersive interaction in the cavity of the form @xmath1 and considered the random walk of the field on states on a circle .
other interesting theoretical schemes for implementing quantum walks have been suggested in ion - traps @xcite and in optical lattices @xcite .
knight et al @xcite further showed that an earlier experiment @xcite was a realization of quantum random walks .
a scheme using linear optical elements has been recently implemented @xcite . here
we propose a method which yields precisely quantum random walk as proposed by aharonov et al .
we use cavity qed however we drive the atoms by an external field .
currently there is considerable progress in realizing a variety of high quality cavities and a variety of interactions and thus one is in a situation where proposals like the one presented here are likely to be implemented .
the organization of the paper is as follows . in sec.ii
we present the details of our model and show the conditions under which such a model gives rise to an effective hamiltonian which we use in sec.iii to realize quantum random walk . in this section we also present the results for the wigner function for the state of the quantum walker .
in sec.iv we show how the homodyne measurements of the field can be used to check the characteristics of the quantum random walk . in sec.v we incorporate the effects of decoherence due to the decay of the field in the cavity . in the appendix
we discuss the state of the walker if no conditional measurements are made and establish relation to classical random walks .
we consider a two level rydberg atom having its higher energy state @xmath2 and lower energy state @xmath3 , interacting with a single mode of the electromagnetic field in a cavity .
the atom passes through the cavity and interacts resonantly with the field .
further the atom is driven by a strong classical field .
for simplicity we choose atomic transition frequency , the cavity frequency and the frequency of the driving field to be same .
the hamiltonian for the system in the interaction picture is written as @xmath4 where @xmath5 and @xmath6 are the coupling constants of the interaction of the atom with the cavity field and with the deriving field .
we have chosen @xmath5 as real and @xmath6 as complex .
the annihilation ( creation ) operator for the field in the cavity is @xmath7 and @xmath8 are atomic spin operators .
the last term in eq.([ham ] ) is the interaction with the external field .
we further rewrite the above hamiltonian in a picture in which the interaction with the external field has already been diagonalized .
@xmath9 where @xmath10 is transformed atomic state in new picture from old atomic state @xmath11 .
the hamiltonian in this picture is @xmath12 the atomic spin operators @xmath13 transform as @xmath14 using eqs.([s+ ] ) and ( [ s- ] ) , eq.([newh ] ) becomes @xmath15 we note that the hamiltonians of the above form have been previously used to treat the inhibition of the spontaneous emission @xcite and for the production of schrodinger cat states @xcite .
we assume that the atom is driven strongly so that @xmath16 is large and hence we drop rapidly oscillating terms from eq.([hbar ] ) _ i.e. _ @xmath17 . then eq.([hbar ] ) reduces to @xmath18 we choose @xmath19 , in general , this can also be done by adjusting phases with atomic operators .
then the eq.([newhbar ] ) takes the form @xmath20 note the appearance of the well known displacement @xmath21 in the eq.([neth ] ) .
in particular we have the momentum operator ( out of phase quadrature for the field ) .
further it should also be noted that @xmath22 as defined by eq.([h ] ) commutes with @xmath23 . in the original interaction picture the hamiltonian for our model will be @xmath24 in the effective hamiltonian ( [ heff ] ) field displacement operator appears with atomic operator , which can produce displacement in field state depending on the atomic state .
for the position of the quantum random walker , assuming initial wave packet as gaussian @xmath57 $ ] for @xmath49 , step size @xmath58 , @xmath59 and @xmath60.,width=288,height=288 ] of the state of the random walker , after number of steps ( a ) @xmath61 ( b ) @xmath62 , using same parameters as in fig.[fig1].,width=480,height=576 ] for visualizing quantum interferences we plot the wigner function of the random walker in fig.[fig2 ] . the wigner distribution for any state @xmath63 can be obtained by using the definition @xcite , @xmath64 in the fig.[fig2](a ) the field is in its initial coherent state and the wigner function is perfect gaussian . as the field
is displaced by random steps , by passing atoms through the cavity , quantum interference effects start deforming the shape of the wigner function from the gaussian .
after few steps the wigner function is squeezed in @xmath48 quadrature and gets displaced by an arbitrary distance in @xmath48 . in fig.[fig2](b ) , ( see also fig.[fig4](a ) ) , we have shown the wigner function after @xmath65 random steps for initial gaussian wave packet .
the squeezing is also clear from the fig.[fig1 ] which shows the narrowing of the distribution @xmath53 .
it is clear that the displacement in the position of random walker comes as a result of quantum interference which is consequence of quantum coherence between the states generated in random steps .
we next discuss how we can probe the quantum state of the random walker .
we propose homodyne techniques @xcite for measuring the state of the random walker .
such homodyne measurement can be performed by mixing an external resonant coherent field to the cavity and then probing the resultant cavity field by passing a test atom through the cavity . in the previous section ,
we have shown how the cavity field is displaced backward or forward in a random step by passing single atom through the cavity .
the state of the field in the cavity after such @xmath36 steps can be monitored by homodyne measurements which can be implemented in the same experimental set up . after displacing the field inside the cavity by @xmath36 random steps , by passing @xmath36 atoms ,
a resonant external coherent field @xmath66 is injected into the cavity . after adding the external field ,
the state of the resultant field in the cavity is @xmath67 now we bring a similar atom in its lower energy state @xmath3 to probe the cavity field .
the probability of detecting the probe atom in its lower state @xmath3 after crossing the cavity in time @xmath68 is @xmath69 the interaction time @xmath68 for the probe atom is selected such that if there are photons in the cavity it leaves the cavity in its higher energy state @xmath2 with larger probability . if we choose the external field @xmath66 such that @xmath70 , the probe atom will leave the cavity in its ground state with larger probability when the value of @xmath71 will be opposite and equal to the displacement of the random walker from the initial position @xmath72 .
thus the probability of the probe atom leaving the cavity in its lower state @xmath3 would , as a function of @xmath71 , have peak corresponding to the positions of the random walker after @xmath36 steps . in fig.[fig3 ] , we plot the probability of detecting the probe atom in its lower state with @xmath71 .
the solid line curve is result of homodyne measurement of the position of the random walker corresponding to its initial state .
the dashed line curve is corresponding to the homodyne measurement after @xmath65 steps using the same parameter as in fig.[fig1 ] .
clearly the homodyne measurement yields the state of the quantum walker ( fig.[fig1 ] ) .
thus the homodyne measurement can be an elegant way for monitoring the position of the random walker in our model of realizing quantum random walks . for the state of the quantum random walker after number of steps
@xmath61 ( solid line ) and @xmath62 ( dashed line ) .
the parameters used are same as in fig.[fig1 ] and the interaction time for the probe atom is selected such that @xmath73.,width=288 ] , ( b ) for @xmath74 , ( c ) for @xmath75 , ( d ) for @xmath76 , other parameters are same as fig.[fig2 ] ( b).,width=480,height=480 ]
quantum random walks are different from the classical random walks in the sense of quantum interferences which may lead much larger displacements in the position of quantum random walker than the classically possible maximum displacements .
these quantum interferences are the consequences of coherence in the system .
clearly we need the coherence to live for a long time and thus it is important to study the effects of the decoherence of the system . in this section
we study the decoherence of the state of the random walker due to damping in the cavity .
this can be done using the master equation @xmath77 where @xmath78 is cavity field decay parameter and we carry analysis in the absence of thermal photons . for initial state ( [ final ] ) we find the density matrix after time @xmath27 @xmath79 where @xmath80 . in the limit
@xmath81 the eq.([deco ] ) simplifies to @xmath82 thus the coherence of the state decays on the time scales @xmath83 . in fig.[fig4 ] we show the decoherence effects due to the cavity damping in the state of the quantum random walker in terms of wigner function .
as the time progresses from ( a ) to ( d ) the decoherence reduces the quantum interference effects and the state of the random walker decays to its initial state . in fig.[fig4](a )
the wigner function for the state of the random walker after @xmath65 steps using the parameters of fig.[fig2](b ) is plotted which is squeezed in @xmath48 quadrature and centered at @xmath84 . as a result of decoherence due to cavity damping the quantum interferences start decaying and the wigner function changes to the perfect gaussian shape , fig.[fig4](c ) centered at @xmath85 . now the field inside the cavity is almost in coherent state and decays with the cavity damping rate .
further the life time for the state of the quantum random walker is given by @xmath86 where @xmath87 is life time for field in the cavity .
in conclusion we have shown a simple possible realization of quantum random walks using cavity qed .
we have proposed homodyne detection for monitoring the position of the random walker .
we have also discussed the decoherence effects and the time scales at which quantum nature of random walks survives . as a result of new emerging technologies various improved cavities are feasible these days @xcite , which makes our proposal much interesting and realistic .
such realization of quantum random walks may be useful for implementing various algorithms @xcite based on quantum random walks .
finally it should be noted that the generalizations of the present work to more than one dimensions are possible .
in this appendix we would like to connect the result ( [ app ] ) explicitly to the case of classical random walk . for this purpose
we find the reduced state of the field from ( [ app ] ) .
we also set @xmath88 , then the reduced state of the field @xmath89 is @xmath90 clearly the state of the field after the passage of @xmath36 atoms would be @xmath91 which is reminiscent of the result for classical random walk in the sense that the weight factor of the state @xmath92 is same as the probability of finding the walker at the site @xmath93 @xcite .
it should however be borne in mind that the coherent states @xmath94 and @xmath95 are not orthogonal for @xmath96 .
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NF-κB1 p105 Regulates T Cell Homeostasis and Prevents Chronic Inflammation
Mikyoung Chang, Andrew J. Lee, Leo Fitzpatrick, Minying Zhang and Shao-Cong Sun
J Immunol March 1, 2009, 182 (5) 3131-3138; DOI: https://doi.org/10.4049/jimmunol.0803637
Mikyoung Chang
Andrew J. Lee
Leo Fitzpatrick
Minying Zhang
Shao-Cong Sun
Transcription factor NF-κB is regulated by a family of inhibitors, IκBs, as well as the NF-κB1 and NF-κB2 precursor proteins, p105 and p100. Although the different NF-κB inhibitors can all inhibit NF-κB in vitro, their physiological functions are incompletely understood. In this study, we demonstrate that p105 plays an important role in the regulation of T cell homeostasis and prevention of chronic inflammation. Mice lacking p105, but expressing the mature NF-κB1 p50, spontaneously develop intestinal inflammation with features of human inflammatory bowel disease. This inflammatory disorder occurs under specific pathogen-free conditions and critically involves T cells. Consistently, the p105-deficient mice have reduced frequency of naive T cells and increased frequency of memory/effector T cells in the peripheral lymphoid organs. Although p105 is dispensable for the production of immunosuppressive regulatory T cells, p105 deficiency renders CD4 T cells more resistant to Treg-mediated inhibition. We further show that the loss of p105 results in hyperproduction of Th17 subset of inflammatory T cells. Together, these findings suggest a critical role for NF-κB1 p105 in the regulation of T cell homeostasis and differentiation and the control of chronic inflammation.
The NF-κB family of transcription factors has diverse biological functions, including regulation of immune and inflammatory responses (1, 2). In mammalian cells, the NF-κB family is composed of five members, NF-κB1, NF-κB2, RelA, RelB, and c-Rel, which function as various hetero- and homo-dimers (3). NF-κB1 and NF-κB2 are produced as precursor proteins, p105 and p100, which undergo proteolytic processing to generate the mature NF-κB1 p50 and NF-κB2 p52, respectively (4). The mature NF-κB proteins are normally sequestered in the cytoplasmic environment through physical association with a family of inhibitory proteins, IκBs. In response to various stimuli, NF-κB dimers translocate to the nucleus as a result of IκB degradation. The presence of different IκB members, with distinct properties in signal response, creates a level of complexity in NF-κB regulation.
In addition to the typical IκBs, NF-κB inhibitors also include the NF-κB1 and NF-κB2 precursor proteins, p105 and p100, respectively. The C-terminal portion of these precursor proteins share structural homology with IκBs, characterized by the presence of ankyrin repeats. Like IκBs, p105 and p100 bind to NF-κB members and prevent the nuclear translocation of NF-κB. Thus, in addition to producing the mature NF-κB1 (p50) and NF-κB2 (p52) proteins, p105 and p100 have important roles in regulating the biological function of NF-κB. Recent studies demonstrate that p100 regulates a so-called noncanonical NF-κB signaling pathway that mediates activation of the RelB/p52 NF-κB complex and specific adaptive immune functions, including B cell maturation and lymphoid organogenesis (5). However, the physiological function of p105 remains obscure. Unlike the signal-regulated processing of p100 (6), the processing of p105 occurs constitutively and cotranslationally (7), yielding high steady levels of both p105 and p50 in most cell types. In response to various stimuli, p105 undergoes degradation without generating p50, which may contribute to the activation of p105-sequestered NF-κB members (4). At least in macrophages, p105 also has a role in regulating MAPK signaling downstream of TLRs. p105 controls the stability and activity of Tpl2 (8, 9), a MAPK kinase kinase-mediating activation of the MEK1 and its downstream target ERK (10). Thus, loss of p105 causes dramatic reduction in the steady level of Tpl2, resulting in attenuated activation of MEK/ERK by the TLR signals (8, 9).
The in vivo function of p105 in NF-κB regulation has been investigated using a knockin approach, which involved the insertion of a stop codon in the processing site of p105, allowing the direct production of p50 without generating p105 (11). In various cell types, these p105-deficient (p105−/−) animals have aberrant activation of NF-κB, particularly the p50-containing complexes. Probably due to the repressor function of p50 homodimers, the p105-deficient immune cells display hypoactivation of proinflammatory cytokines (11). Surprisingly, however, the p105−/−animals display inflammatory and autoimmune phenotypes characterized by immune cell infiltration into the lung and liver. To date, the mechanism by which p105 regulates autoimmunity and inflammation has not been defined.
Autoimmunity and chronic inflammation often result from aberrant T cell responses, which in turn can be caused by impaired production or function of regulatory T cells (Tregs)4 (12, 13). Tregs suppress the activation and differentiation of naive T cells as well as the effector functions of differentiated T cells (13). Defect in Treg function breaks peripheral tolerance, causing spontaneous activation of naive T cells and multiorgan inflammation. Autoimmunity and inflammation can also result from imbalanced differentiation of naive CD4 T cells to effector T cells, including Th1, Th2, and Th17 cells (14, 15, 16). In particular, Th17 cells are involved in various autoimmune and inflammatory diseases (17), such as experimental autoimmune encephalitis (18, 19), rheumatoid arthritis (20, 21, 22), and inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) (23, 24, 25, 26). These inflammatory T cells produce IL-17 family of cytokines, which mediate inflammation by recruiting innate immune cells and inducing proinflammatory cytokines (15, 18, 27, 28). Thus, characterization of the factors that regulate T cell responses and differentiation is important for understanding the molecular mechanisms underlying autoimmune and inflammatory diseases.
In the present study, we show that the IκB-like protein p105 plays a critical role in regulating T cell homeostasis and differentiation and preventing T cell mediated inflammation. In addition to the previously identified autoimmune symptoms, the p105-deficient mice spontaneously develop intestinal inflammation with characteristics of human IBD. By crossing p105−/− mice to the Rag1−/− background and performing T cell adoptive transfer, we show that T cells play an important role in mediating the autoimmune and inflammatory disorders of the p105−/− mice. Interestingly, loss of p105 causes reduction in the naive T cell population and concurrent increase in the memory/effector T cell population, with a particular expansion of Th17 cells. Although p105 is dispensable for Treg development, the p105-deficient CD4 T cells are less sensitive to Treg-mediated suppression. We further show that p105 deficiency in macrophages promotes TLR-mediated induction of IL-6, a key cytokine that stimulates the differentiation of naive CD4 T cells to Th17 cells (17). These findings establish p105 as a critical factor that maintains naive T cell phenotype and prevents abnormal induction of inflammatory T cells.
The nfκb1 knockout mice (in C57BL6/129 genetic background), which are deficient in both p105 and p50 (29), were purchased from The Jackson Laboratory. The p105−/− mice (in C57BL6/129 genetic background), lacking p105 expression and competent in p50 expression, were provided by Bristol-Myers Squibb (11). Rag1−/− mice (in C57BL6 genetic background) were purchased from Taconic Farms. All mice were housed in specific pathogen-free cages and monitored periodically for the lack of common pathogens. Animal experiments were in accordance with protocols approved by the Institutional Animal Care and Use Committee of the Pennsylvania State University College of Medicine and the University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center.
Abs and reagents
Functional grade anti-mCD3ε (145–2C11), anti-mCD28 (37.51), and anti-mCD40, as well as the blocking Abs for mIFN-γ (XMG1.2) and mIL-4 (11B11), were from eBioscience. Fluorescence-labeled anti-mCD4 (L3T4), anti-mCD25 (PC61.5), anti-mCD62L (MEL-14), anti-CD44 (IM7), anti-mIL-17A (eBio17B7), and anti-mIFN-γ (XMG1.2) were also purchased from eBioscience. The recombinant mIL-6 and hTGF-β were purchased from PeproTech. PMA and ionomycin were from Sigma-Aldrich, and monensin was from eBioscience.
Colons were removed from sacrificed mice and flushed with PBS. Distal and proximal halves of the colons were opened longitudinally, fixed in 10% neutral buffered formalin, embedded in paraffin, and sectioned for H&E staining. Slides were analyzed blindly and scored for the degree of inflammation (0–40 scale) as described (30). Liver and lung sections were prepared similarly, and pictures were taken from typical sections.
Flow cytometry and cell sorting
Splenic and lymph node cell suspensions were prepared by gentle homogenization using a tissue homogenizer. Mononuclear cells were isolated by centrifugation over lymphocyte separation medium (Mediatech) and subjected to flow cytometry analyses as previously described (31). For isolating CD4 T cell subsets, CD4+ T cells were first enriched using CD4 microbeads (Miltenyi Biotec), and the effecter (CD4+CD25−), Treg (CD4+CD25+), naive (CD4+CD25−CD44lowCD62Lhigh), and memory (CD4+CD25−CD44highCD62Llow) CD4 T cells were isolated by flow cytometry sorting using MoFlo (DakoCytomation) or FACSAria (BD Bioscience). Purity of isolated population was verified to be >98%.
Intracellular cytokine staining (ICS)
T cells isolated from spleen and mesentery lymph nodes (mLN) or from in vitro cultures were stimulated for 5 h with PMA (50 ng/ml) and ionomycin (500 ng/ml) in the presence of monensin (2 μM). After the stimulation period, cells were fixed in 2% paraformaldehyde and permeablized in 0.5% saponin before staining for relevant cytokines. The stained cells were analyzed by flow cytometry.
In vitro T cell activation and differentiation
Purified naive CD4+ T cells were stimulated in replicate wells of 96-well plates (1 × 105 cells/well) with plate-bound anti-CD3 and anti-CD28. After the indicated times of stimulation, the cells were labeled for 6 h with [3H]thymidine for proliferation assays based on thymidine incorporation. For in vitro Th17 cell differentiation, naive CD4 T cells were stimulated with anti-CD3 and anti-CD28 in the presence of anti-IFN-γ (10 μg/ml), anti-IL-4 (10 μg/ml), IL-6 (20 ng/ml), and TGF-β (5 ng/ml). After the indicated times, the cells were subjected to ICS and real-time PCR analyses.
Treg assays
Five × 104/well effector CD4 T cells were stimulated with soluble anti-CD3 (1 μg/ml) and 1 × 105/well irradiated (3000 RAD) APCs (splenocytes) either in the presence or absence of Tregs. The proliferation of the effector T cells was analyzed as described above.
Preparation and stimulation of bone marrow-derived macrophages
Bone marrow-derived macrophages cells were prepared from the indicated age-matched mice using a procedure described previously (32). Before stimulation, the cells were seeded onto 100-mm petri dishes and starved for 12–16 h in DMEM supplemented with 0.5% FBS. The cells were then stimulated with the indicated inducers and collected for total RNA preparation.
Real-time quantitative RT-PCR
Total RNA was isolated from colonic tissues, T cells, or macrophages using TRI reagent (Molecular Research Center) and subjected to cDNA synthesis using RNase H-reverse transcriptase (Invitrogen) and oligo (dT) primers. Real-time quantitative PCR was performed using iCycler Sequence Detection System (Bio-Rad) and iQ SYBR Green Supermix (Bio-Rad). The expression of individual genes was calculated by a standard curve method and normalized to the expression of actin. The gene-specific primer sets (all for murine genes) were: IL-17a, 5′-AGCGATGGTGGATGGCTCATGGTTAG-3′ and 5′-AGCTTTCCCTCCGCATTGACACAG-3′; IL-17f, 5′-CCCATGGGATTACAACATCACTC-3′ and 5′-CACTGGGCCTCAGCGATC-3′; IL-21, 5′-ATCCTGAACTTCTATCAGCTCCAC-3′ and 5′-GCATTTAGCTATGTGCTTCTGTTTC-3′; IL-22, 5′-TCC GAG GAG TCA GTG CTA AA-3′ and 5′-AGA ACG TCT TCC AGG GTG AA-3′; IL-23R, 5′-GCCAAGAAGACCATTCCCGA-3′ and 5′-TCAGTGCTACAATCTTCTTCAGAGGACA-3′; RORγt, 5′-CAAGTCATCTGGGATCCACTAC-3′ and 5′-TGCAGGAGTAGGCCACATTACA-3′; IL-1b, 5′-GCTCTCCACCTCAATGGACAG-3′ and 5′-GAAGACAGGCTTGTGCTCTGC-3′; IL-6, 5′-CACAGAGGATACCACTCCCAACA-3′ and 5′-TCCACGATTTCCCAGAGAACA-3′; IL-12 p35, 5′-ACTAGAGAGACTTCTTCCACAACAAGAG-3′ and 5′-GCACAGGGTCATCATCAAAGAC-3′; TNF-α, 5′-CATCTTCTCAAAATTCGAGTGA CAA-3′ and 5′-CCAGCTGCTCCTCCACTTG-3′; actin, 5′-CGTGAAAAGATGACCCAGATCA-3′ and 5′-CACAGCCTGGATGGCTACGT-3′.
T cell adoptive transfer
Lymphocytes were isolated from mesenteric lymph nodes of wild-type (WT) and p105−/− mice (6–8 wk old) and the total T cell populations were isolated by Thy-1.2 microbeads (Miltenyi Biotec). Seven × 106 Thy1.2+ T cells were injected into 4–6 wk old RAG1−/− recipients via the tail-vein. At 6 wk post adoptive transfer, colons were collected from sacrificed recipient mice and subjected to histology and real-time PCR analyses.
Electrophoresis mobility shift assay (EMSA)
EMSA was performed as previously described (33). In brief, nuclear extracts were prepared and subjected to EMSA using a 32P-radiolabeled κB oligonucleotide probe (CAA CGG CAG GGG AAT TCC CCT CTC CTT) or a control probe bound by the constitutive transcription factor NF-Y (AAG AGA TTA ACC AAT CAC GTA CGG TCT).
Genetic deficiency of p105 causes colonic inflammation
To investigate the in vivo function of p105 in regulating inflammation, we examined the histological phenotypes of various organs isolated from the p105-deficient (p105−/−) mice. Even when housed under stringent pathogen-free conditions, the p105−/− mice displayed leukocyte infiltration into the lung and liver (data not shown). More strikingly, these mutant animals had intestinal inflammation with prominent features of IBD (Fig. 1⇓). The colons of p105−/− mice were often devoid of solid feces and evidently shorter and more rigid (Fig. 1⇓A), typical macroscopic features of IBD and experimental colitis (34, 35). Large leukocyte follicles (colonic patches) were frequently detected in the colons of p105−/− mice at different ages but were not found in the control colons (Fig. 1⇓B and data not shown). Other histological features of the p105−/− colons included crypt damages, sporadic leukocyte infiltrations, and thickening of mucosal layer (Fig. 1⇓B). Microscopic analyses of multiple histology slides also revealed higher inflammation scores in both the proximal and distal colons of the p105−/− mice (Fig. 1⇓C). Consistent with the histology results, the colonic tissue of p105−/− mice expressed various proinflammatory genes, including IL-1β, TNF-α, IL-6, and IL-12 (Fig. 1⇓D).
Spontaneous development of colonic inflammation in p105−/− mice. A, Picture to compare the colons of WT and p105−/− mice, showing the loss of fecal matters and reduced length of the p105−/− colon. Data are representative of multiple mice. B, H&E staining of tissue sections of the distal portion of the colon from 8-wk-old control WT and p105−/− mice. An inflammatory cell follicle in the colonic mucosa (colonic patch) is indicated by an arrowhead. Original magnification, ×20 and ×40. C, Histological scores of mucosal inflammation in WT and p105−/− mice. Data were from three WT and three p105−/− mice (8 wk of age), each with two colon sections. D, Real-time PCR showing the constitutive expression of several proinflammatory genes in the colon of p105−/− mice but not the WT mice.
T cells are involved in the inflammation of p105−/− mice
Chronic inflammation is often mediated by aberrant responses of T cells (36). To examine the role of T cells in mediating the inflammatory disorders of p105−/− mice, we crossed the p105−/− mice with Rag1−/− mice to produce p105−/−Rag1−/− mice. In contrast to the prominent colonic inflammation of p105−/− mice, no obvious colonic inflammation was detected in the lymphocyte-free p105−/−Rag1−/− mice (Fig. 2⇓A). Similarly, the inflammatory phenotype in the lung was also lost after the p105−/− mice had been crossed to the Rag1−/− background (Fig. 2⇓A). Real-time PCR assays revealed that the constitutive production of proinflammatory cytokines in the colons of p105−/− mice was also lost in the p105−/−Rag1−/− mice (data not shown). Thus, lymphocytes play an important role in mediating the chronic inflammations in p105−/− mice.
T cells are involved in the development of autoimmune and inflammatory disorders in p105−/− mice. A, Colons and lungs from p105−/− mice on Rag1+/+ (p105−/−/Rag1+/+) or Rag1 knockout (p105−/−/Rag1−/−) background were subjected to histology analyses. Colonic patches (upper) and lung infiltrations (lower) are indicated by arrowheads, which were detected in p105−/−/Rag1+/+ mice but not in p105−/−/Rag1KO mice. Original magnification, ×20. B, Induction of inflammatory cell infiltration by adoptively transferred p105−/− T cells. Rag1−/− mice (4–6 wk old) were i.v. injected with T cells isolated from the mesenteric lymph nodes of WT or p105−/− mice. After 6 wk, the recipient mice were sacrificed for histology analyses of lymphocyte infiltration in the colon. An arrowhead indicates a colonic patch detected in a recipient of p105−/− T cells. Data are representative of three mice per group. Original magnification, ×20. C, RNA samples were isolated from colons of the adoptively transferred mice described in B and subjected to real-time PCR analyses to detect the relative mRNA expression of the indicated genes.
To investigate whether p105−/− T cells were sufficient for inducing inflammation in recipient mice, we adoptively transferred T cells derived from p105−/− or WT mice into Rag1−/− mice. Interestingly, transfer of p105−/− T cells into Rag1−/− mice was sufficient to cause colonic inflammation within 6 wk, as demonstrated by both colonic patch formation (Fig. 2⇑B) and expression of proinflammatory cytokines (Fig. 2⇑C). In contrast, colonic patches were rarely found in Rag1−/− mice that had received WT T cells (Fig. 2⇑B), and these control mice also did not show aberrant expression of proinflammatory cytokines in the colonic tissue (Fig. 2⇑C). Thus, T cells play an important role in the development of colitis in p105−/− mice.
p105 deficiency causes abnormal activation and homeostasis of T cells
Because of the involvement of T cells in the inflammatory phenotype of p105−/− mice, we examined the effect of p105 deficiency on the activation of T cells. Compared with WT CD4 naive T cells, the p105−/− CD4 naive T cells displayed a low, but significant, increase in the proliferation potential upon stimulation with anti-CD3 and anti-CD28 (Fig. 3⇓A). This phenotype was in sharp contrast to the hypoproliferation of the nfκb1−/− T cells that lack both p105 and p50. Parallel DNA binding assays revealed that loss of p105 caused a marked activation of NF-κB in CD4 T cells, and this phenotype was dependent on p50 because the NF-κB activation was attenuated in nfκb1−/− T cells (Fig. 3⇓B). To assess the role of p105 in regulating the homeostasis of T cells in vivo, we analyzed the naive and memory T cell populations based on their surface markers. In WT mice, the majority of T cells in the spleen and lymph nodes displayed a naive phenotype, characterized by the expression of low levels of CD44 and high levels of CD62 ligand (CD62L) (Fig. 3⇓C). Remarkably, the CD44lowCD62Lhigh population of naive T cells was substantially reduced in the p105−/− mice, with a concurrent increase in the population of CD4 T cells displaying memory or effector markers (CD44highCD62Llow) (Fig. 3⇓C). This abnormality in T cell homeostasis was not seen in nfκb1−/− mice lacking the mature NF-κB1 protein p50 (Fig. 3⇓C), thus suggesting that the IκB-like molecule p105 has a critical role in maintaining the naive T cell homeostasis.
Activation and homeostasis of p105-deficient CD4 T cells. A, WT, nfκb1−/−, and p105−/− naive CD4 T cells were either not treated (NT) or stimulated in triplicate wells with the indicated amounts of plate-bound anti-CD3 plus soluble anti-CD28. After 48 h, cell proliferation was measured by thymidine incorporation. Data are presented as mean ± SD of three replicates. B, CD4 T cells were either not treated (NT) or stimulated for 24 h with anti-CD3 and anti-CD28. Nuclear extracts were subjected to EMSA using a 32P-radiolabeled κB probe (upper panel) or a probe that binds the constitutive nuclear protein NF Y (NF-Y). C, Mesenteric lymph node cells and splenocytes of the indicated mice were subjected to flow cytometry analyses to measure the percentage of naive (CD44highCD62Llow) and memory/effector (CD44lowCD62Lhigh) CD4 T cells within the CD4 T cell population.
Loss of p105 does not inhibit Treg development but renders naive T cells more resistant to Treg-mediated suppression
Spontaneous activation of naive T cells and development of autoimmune and inflammatory disorders are often caused by defect in the production of Tregs, because these cells suppress the activation of CD4 T cells by self-Ags (12, 13). The fact that p105−/− naive T cells exhibit memory/effector phenotype in vivo prompted us to examine whether the loss of p105 blocked the production of Tregs. As expected, WT mice had a population of CD4+CD25+FoxP3+ Tregs in the thymus, spleen, and mLN (Fig. 4⇓A, left panels). Surprisingly, despite their inflammatory phenotype, the p105−/− mice produced even a higher frequency of Tregs in both the thymus and peripheral lymphoid organs (Fig. 4⇓A, right panels). This phenotype was not seen in the nfκb1−/− mice, lacking both p105 and p50, suggesting the involvement of deregulated activation of p50-containing NF-κB complexes (Fig. 4⇓A, central panels). To examine whether p105 is required for the effector function of Tregs, we activated effector CD4 T cells in vitro in the presence of either WT or p105-deficient Tregs. Both the WT and p105−/− Tregs potently inhibited the proliferation of the effector CD4 T cells (Fig. 4⇓B). Thus, p105 is dispensable for both the production and effector function of Tregs.
The p105 deficiency does not inhibit the development and effector function of Tregs but renders CD4 effector T cells insensitive to Treg-mediated suppression. A, Thymocytes, splenocytes, and mLN cells were subjected to flow cytometry, and the frequency of CD4+CD25+FoxP+ Tregs were presented as percentage of total CD4 T cells. B, WT effector CD4 T cells were activated in the presence of the indicated ratios of either WT or p105−/− Tregs, and the proliferation of effector T cells was analyzed based on [3H]thymidine incorporation. The level of Treg suppression was calculated as percentage of suppression based on the proliferation of effector T cells in the absence of Tregs. C, WT and p105−/− naive CD4 T cells were stimulated either in the absence or presence of the indicated ratios of WT Tregs, and the proliferation of the effector CD4 T cells was analyzed based on [3H]tritium incorporation. Suppression was calculated as described in B.
We next examined whether p105 regulates the sensitivity of CD4 effector T cells to Treg-mediated inhibition. Effector CD4 T cells derived from WT or p105−/− mice were activated in the presence or absence of WT Tregs and subjected to proliferation assays. The WT effector CD4 T cells were efficiently suppressed by Tregs even at a high effector:Treg ratio (12:1, Fig. 4⇑C). In sharp contrast, the p105-deficient effector CD4 T cells were remarkably resistant to Treg-mediated inhibition (Fig. 4⇑C). Even at low effector:Treg ratios, the proliferation of these mutant cells was only partially inhibited. Together, these results suggest that although p105 is not required for the production and function of Treg cells, it regulates the responsiveness of effector T cells to Treg-mediated inhibition. These findings provide insight into the spontaneous activation of T cells in the p105−/− mice.
Loss of p105 results in aberrant production of Th17 inflammatory T cells
Inflammatory T cells play an important role in the induction of chronic inflammations, including IBD (26, 36). We thus examined whether the p105 deficiency affected the production of Th1 and Th17 cells, both being implicated in IBD pathogenesis (26, 37). T cells isolated from the spleen of WT, nfκb1−/−, or p105−/− mice were either untreated or stimulated briefly with mitogens to induce the production of cytokines by the effector T cells. ICS analysis of the WT CD4 T cells revealed a low percentage (0.18%) of Th17 cells and a higher percentage of Th1 cells (7.13%), based on their production of IL-17 and IFN-γ, respectively (Fig. 5⇓A, lower left panel). Interestingly, a >10 times higher frequency of Th17 cells was detected in the p105−/− mice (Fig. 5⇓A, lower right panel). The p105−/− mice also displayed a moderate increase in the frequency of Th1 cells (Fig. 5⇓A, lower right panel). In contrast, the overproduction of Th17 cells was not seen in the nfκb1−/− mice (Fig. 5⇓A, lower central panel). In fact, these mutant mice produced reduced frequency of Th17 cells.
Loss of p105 causes aberrant production of Th17 cells. A, Th17 frequency in total T cells. T cells were isolated from the spleen of WT or p105−/− mice and either left nontreated (NT) or stimulated with PMA (50 ng/ml) plus ionomycin (500 ng/ml) for 5 h. The IL-17-producing Th17 cells and the IFN-γ-producing Th1 cells were quantified by intracellular cytokine staining and flow cytometry. Numbers represent percentage of CD4+ gated cells. B, Th17 frequency in sorted memory CD4+ T cells (CD62Llow, CD44high, CD25−, CD4+), determined as in A. C, Expression of Th17 marker genes in the colons of p105−/− mice. Real-time PCR was performed to analyze the relative RNA concentration of the indicated genes in the colons of WT and p105−/− mice.
Because p105−/− mice had a higher number of memory T cells, we analyzed the frequency of Th1 and Th17 cells within sorted CD4+ memory T cell population (CD4+CD25−CD62LlowCD44high). This analysis further demonstrated the aberrant production of Th17 T cells by the p105−/− mice (Fig. 5⇑B). However, the frequency of Th1 cells within the memory T cell population was not enhanced in the p105−/− mice (Fig. 5⇑B). Thus, the p105 deficiency causes overproduction of inflammatory T cells, particularly the Th17 cells.
Th17 cells are known to infiltrate into the colonic mucosa and mediate inflammation (38). To assess the presence of Th17 cells in the inflamed colons of p105−/− mice, we analyzed the expression of Th17 marker genes, including those encoding IL-17A, IL-17F, IL-21, IL-22, IL-23R, and the orphan nuclear hormone receptor RORγt. Real-time PCR analyses detected a low level of expression of these genes in the colonic tissue of WT mice (Fig. 5⇑C). In sharp contrast, the expression level of all of these Th17 marker genes was strikingly elevated in the colons of p105−/− mice (Fig. 5⇑C). Furthermore, the aberrant expression of Th17 marker genes was dependent on p50, because it was not detected in the nfκb1−/− colons (Fig. 5⇑C). These results indicate that the p105 deficiency causes enhanced frequency of Th17 cells both in the lymphoid organs and at the site of inflammation.
p105 has no T cell intrinsic role in Th17 differentiation but controls TLR-mediated induction of IL-6 in macrophages
The hyper production of Th17 cells in p105−/− mice could be due to enhanced response of naive CD4 T cells to Th17 differentiation signals or deregulated cytokine production by innate immune cells. To examine whether p105 had a T cell intrinsic role in the regulation of Th17 differentiation, we analyzed the in vitro differentiation ability of naive CD4+ T cells derived from WT, nfκb1−/−, or p105−/− mice. As expected, WT CD4+ T cells differentiated into Th17 cells when stimulated under Th17 differentiation conditions (with rIL-6 and TGF-β and blocking Abs for IFN-γ and IL-4) (Fig. 6⇓A). However, the Th17 differentiation efficiency was only slightly enhanced in the p105−/− T cells, thus suggesting that p105 might not play an important T cell intrinsic role in regulating Th17 differentiation. Consistently, the loss of p50 in nfκb1−/− T cells only moderately affected the Th17 differentiation (Fig. 6⇓A).
p105 deficiency has no effect on Th17 differentiation from naive CD4 T cells in vitro but causes hyperproduction of IL-6 in macrophages. A, In vitro differentiation of Th17 cells. Purified native CD4+ T cells from WT, nfκb1−/−, and p105−/− mice were stimulated for 4 days with anti-CD3 and anti-CD28 either in the absence (no cytokine) or presence of IL-6 plus TGF-β. Th17 and Th1 cells were analyzed by ICS and flow cytometry. B, Macrophages were prepared from the bone marrow cells of the indicated genotypes of mice. The cells were either not treated (NT) or stimulated for 4 h with LPS (1 μg/ml), CpG (1 μM), or an agonistic Ab against murine CD40 (10 μg/ml). Real time RT-PCR was performed to measure the relative levels of IL-6 induction.
The results described above indicate the involvement of an indirect mechanism by which p105 regulates Th17 cell differentiation. In this regard, a striking finding in our gene expression analysis was the high level expression of IL-6 in the colons of p105−/− mice (Fig. 1⇑D). Because IL-6 is a key proinflammatory cytokine that stimulates Th17 cell differentiation, we examined the effect of p105 deficiency on IL-6 gene induction in macrophages. In WT macrophages, IL-6 gene expression was stimulated by the TLR ligands LPS and CpG and weakly induced by the CD40 agonistic Ab (anti-CD40) (Fig. 6⇑B). Interestingly, the IL-6 gene induction was dramatically promoted in the p105-deficient macrophages (Fig. 6⇑B). This effect was not seen in p105−/− bone marrow-derived dendritic cells (data not shown), suggesting cell-type specificity. Because p105 has an important role in regulating Tpl2/ERK signaling in macrophages (8, 9), we performed parallel studies using the nfκb1−/− macrophages, because these cells had a similar Tpl2/ERK signaling defect due to the lack of p105. In contrast to the p105−/− cells, the nfκb1−/− cells did not show hyper induction of IL-6 (Fig. 6⇑B). Thus, the aberrant induction of IL-6 gene in p105−/− macrophages is unlikely due to the defect in Tpl2/ERK signaling but rather the deregulated activation of p50-containing NF-κB complexes.
NF-κB1 is cotranslationally produced as two proteins, p105 and p50, both being abundantly expressed in various cell types (7). Strong evidence suggests that p105 functions as an IκB-like molecule that inhibits the nuclear translocation of NF-κB members (4). Like IκBs, p105 undergoes phosphorylation and degradation in response to immune stimuli, which is thought to mediate nuclear translocation of NF-κB (4). However, it has been unclear what physiological functions p105 plays, particularly in the regulation of immune responses. Although extensive studies have been performed with nfκb1−/− mice, these animals are not particularly useful for the study of p105 function because they lack not only p105 but also the mature NF-κB1 p50. The p105−/− mice, in contrast, serve as a powerful model for the study of p105 function because they are specifically deficient in p105 (11). It was previously shown that the p105−/− mice show autoimmune symptoms, characterized by immune cell infiltration into the liver and lung, although the underlying mechanism was not resolved. In the present study, we demonstrate that p105 has an important role in regulating the homeostasis of naive CD4 T cells. Loss of p105 causes a dramatic reduction in the naive CD4 T cell population with concurrent increase in the population of CD4 T cells with memory or effector markers. We have obtained strong evidence that T cells play a critical role in mediating the autoimmune phenotype of p105−/− mice. Interestingly, in addition to lung and liver infiltrations, the p105−/− mice spontaneously develop intestinal inflammation with features of human IBD. Because the animals were housed in the specific pathogen-free facility, such an inflammatory disorder must be autoimmune in nature, probably due to the deregulated T cell responses. Indeed, the intestinal inflammation, as well as the liver and lung infiltration, was prevented when the p105−/− mice were bred to the Rag1−/− background lacking lymphocytes. Furthermore, adoptive transfer of p105−/− T cells was sufficient for inducing the autoimmune and inflammatory phenotypes.
Peripheral T cells are maintained predominantly in their naive state, which is important for normal function of the adaptive immune system (39). The loss of naive T cells can be caused by various conditions, such as defect in thymocyte development, naive T cell apoptosis, and activation and differentiation of naive T cells by low-affinity self-Ags (40). The development of thymocytes does not require p105, although the peripheral T cell number is moderately reduced in the p105−/− mice (data not shown and Ref. 11). Because the reduction in naive T cells in p105−/− mice is associated with increase in memory/effector T cells, it is likely that loss of p105 causes abnormal activation of the naive T cells. The p105−/− naive CD4 T cells show moderate increase in the in vitro response to anti-CD3 stimulation. More significantly, these cells are resistant to Treg-mediated inhibition. Although how p105 regulates this novel function remains to be further investigated, deregulated activation of p50-containing NF-κB complexes appears to be responsible for the resistance of CD4 T cells to Tregs, because the nfκb1−/− CD4 effector T cells (lacking both p105 and p50) are sensitive to Tregs (data not shown). In line with these findings, a previous study, using fibroblasts, suggests that NF-κB inhibits the signaling induced by TGF-β (41), which is known as a major effector molecule of Tregs (42). Future studies will examine whether p105 regulates TGF-β-mediated T cell suppression.
Our data suggest that the intestinal inflammation of p105−/− mice is also associated with increased frequency of Th17 cells. In peripheral lymphoid organs, the p105−/− mice contained more than 10-fold Th17 cells compared with their WT controls. The percentage of Th17 cells within the memory/effector population of CD4 T cells is also dramatically increased in the p105−/− mice. Given the important role of Th17 cells in mediating autoimmunity and inflammation (23, 24, 25), the increase in this subset of CD4 effector T cells may contribute to the development of colitis and other autoimmune disorders in the p105−/− mice. Consistent with this idea, our real-time RT-PCR analyses revealed high levels of expression of Th17-specific genes in the colons of the p105−/− mice. The hyperproduction of Th17 cells in p105−/− mice involves activation of p50-containing NF-κB complexes, because this phenotype is not seen in the nfκb1−/− mice lacking both p105 and p50. In fact, the nfκb1−/− mice have reduced numbers of Th17 cells, a finding that is consistent with a previous report that the nfκb1−/− mice are refractory to the induction of experimental autoimmune encephalitis and rheumatoid arthritis (43, 44).
The roles of p105 in regulating T cell homeostasis and Th17 differentiation may involve different mechanisms. p105 has a T cell intrinsic role in regulating the response of CD4 T cells to Tregs. In contrast, regulation of Th17 cell differentiation appears to involve an indirect mechanism, because the loss of p105 in T cells has little effect on their commitment to the Th17 lineage. More significantly, p105 negatively regulates the induction of IL-6 gene by TLR and CD40 signals in innate immune cells. Hyper expression of IL-6 is readily detected in both in vitro activated p105−/− macrophages and colonic tissues derived from p105−/− mice. Biochemical and genetic evidence suggests that IL-6 is a critical cytokine that stimulates Th17 cell differentiation (17). Notably, IL-6 not only participates in the induction of Th17 cell differentiation from naive CD4 T cells but also reprograms Tregs to become Th17 cells (45). Because the p105−/− mice have increased frequency of Tregs, it suggests the intriguing possibility that the aberrantly expressed IL-6 in p105−/− mice may promote Th17 production from both naive T cells and Tregs. Future studies will examine this possibility.
In macrophages, p105 is required for TLR-stimulated Tpl2/ERK signaling in addition to the regulation of NF-κB. Because p105-deficient macrophages have a defect in ERK activation, the functional phenotypes of the p105−/− mice may be contributed by deregulated activation of NF-κB or attenuated activation of ERK. The former possibility is strongly suggested by our parallel studies using the nfκb1−/− mice, which lack both p105 and the mature NF-κB1 protein p50. Like the p105−/− mice, the nfκb1−/− mice have ERK signaling defect due to the lack of p105 (9). However, the loss of p50 in nfκb1−/− mice is sufficient to correct the phenotypes of the p105−/− mice in T cell homeostasis and autoimmune/inflammatory disorders. The nfκb1−/− macrophages also do not display the aberrant induction of IL-6. Taken together, these results suggest that p105 has a critical role in controlling the activation of p50-containing NF-κB complexes, the deregulation of which may contribute to abnormal T cell response and differentiation as well as development of autoimmune and inflammatory disorders.
We thank Kang Li, Nate Sheaffer, and David Stanford of the Pennsylvania State College of Medicine Core facilities for assistance with tissue sections and flow cytometry. We thank Bristol-Myers Squib for the p105−/− mice and members of Chen Dong's laboratory for suggestions and technical help.
The authors have no financial conflict of interest.
The costs of publication of this article were defrayed in part by the payment of page charges. This article must therefore be hereby marked advertisement in accordance with 18 U.S.C. Section 1734 solely to indicate this fact.
↵1 This study was supported by grants from National Institutes of Health (AI064639, GM084459, and AI057555) and start-up fund from the University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center.
↵2 M.C. and A.J.L. contributed equally to this study.
↵3 Address correspondence and reprint requests to Dr. Shao-Cong Sun, Department of Immunology, The University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center, 7455 Fannin Street, Box 902, Houston TX 77030. E-mail address: ssun{at}mdanderson.org
↵4 Abbreviations used in this paper: Treg, regulatory T cell; IBD, inflammatory bowel disease; ICS, intracellular cytokine staining; WT, wild type; EMSA, Electrophoresis mobility shift assay; CD62L, CD62 ligand; mLN, mesentery lymph nodes.
Received October 29, 2008.
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You are going to email the following NF-κB1 p105 Regulates T Cell Homeostasis and Prevents Chronic Inflammation
Mikyoung Chang, Andrew J. Lee, Leo Fitzpatrick, Minying Zhang, Shao-Cong Sun
The Journal of Immunology March 1, 2009, 182 (5) 3131-3138; DOI: 10.4049/jimmunol.0803637
Antigen presentation by dendritic cells in the aortic wall triggers T helper immune responses in atherosclerosis (54.16)
Eph receptors are involved in the pro-inflammatory response following spinal cord injury (54.21)
Liver sinusoidal endothelial cells undergo apoptosis during sepsis, leading to organ dysfunction. (54.13)
Show more Inflammation | slim_pajama |
several meju yeasts ( lee , 1997 ) , industrial yeasts and other yeasts were obtained from the lab . of biotechnology , paichai university , korea culture center of microorganism ( kccm ) and korea collection for types cultures ( kctc ) .
the angiotensin i - converting enzyme ( ace ) used in this experiment was extracted from rabbit lung acetone powder ( sigma chemical co. , st .
louise , mo . , usa ) and its activity was determined using hippuric acid - histidine - leucine ( hip - his - leu ) ( sigma chemical co. ) as substrate .
one unit was defined as the amount catalyzing the formation of 1 m hippuric acid from hip - his - leu in 1 minute at 37 under standard assay condition ( ukeda , 1991 ) .
pepsin , trypsin , trifluoroacetic acid and acetonitril were purchased from sigma chemical co. yeasts from several sources were inoculated in the yepd medium ( 0.5% yeast extract , 3.0% peptone and 2.0% glucose ) and cultured at 30 for 72 h. after centrifugation at 15,000g for 15 min , ace inhibitory activities of the supernatants were determined . on the other side ,
the cells were suspended in the phosphate buffer ( ph 7.0 ) , washed , resuspended in phosphate buffer ( ph 7.0 ) , and then disrupted by glass bead .
after centrifugation at 15,000g ( for 10 min at 4 ) , ace inhibitory activities of the cell free extract were determined .
morphological , biochemical and cultural characteristics of the selected yeasts were investigated according to taxonomy and methods for the identification of microorganisms and yeasts ( hasegawa , 1984 ) and the yeast ( kreger - van , 1984 ) .
the activity of ace inhibition was assayed by a modification of the method of cushman and cheung 's ( ariyosh , 1993 ) . a mixture containing a 100 mm sodium borate buffer ( ph 8.3 ) , 300 mm nacl , 3 unit of ace and an appropriate amount of the inhibitor solution was preincubated for 10 min at 37.
the reaction was initiated by adding 50 l of hip - his - leu at a final concentration of 5 mm , and terminated after 30 min of incubation by adding 250 l of 1.0 n hcl .
the hippuric acid liberated was extracted with 1 ml of ethyl acetate , and 0.8 ml of the extract was evaporated .
the absorbance at 228 nm was measured to estimate the ace inhibitory activity ( choi , 2001 ) .
the concentration of ace inhibitor required to inhibit 50% of the ace activity under the above assay conditions was defined as ic50 .
several meju yeasts ( lee , 1997 ) , industrial yeasts and other yeasts were obtained from the lab . of biotechnology , paichai university , korea culture center of microorganism ( kccm ) and korea collection for types cultures ( kctc ) .
the angiotensin i - converting enzyme ( ace ) used in this experiment was extracted from rabbit lung acetone powder ( sigma chemical co. , st .
louise , mo . , usa ) and its activity was determined using hippuric acid - histidine - leucine ( hip - his - leu ) ( sigma chemical co. ) as substrate .
one unit was defined as the amount catalyzing the formation of 1 m hippuric acid from hip - his - leu in 1 minute at 37 under standard assay condition ( ukeda , 1991 ) .
yeasts from several sources were inoculated in the yepd medium ( 0.5% yeast extract , 3.0% peptone and 2.0% glucose ) and cultured at 30 for 72 h. after centrifugation at 15,000g for 15 min , ace inhibitory activities of the supernatants were determined . on the other side ,
the cells were suspended in the phosphate buffer ( ph 7.0 ) , washed , resuspended in phosphate buffer ( ph 7.0 ) , and then disrupted by glass bead .
after centrifugation at 15,000g ( for 10 min at 4 ) , ace inhibitory activities of the cell free extract were determined .
morphological , biochemical and cultural characteristics of the selected yeasts were investigated according to taxonomy and methods for the identification of microorganisms and yeasts ( hasegawa , 1984 ) and the yeast ( kreger - van , 1984 ) .
the activity of ace inhibition was assayed by a modification of the method of cushman and cheung 's ( ariyosh , 1993 ) . a mixture containing a 100 mm sodium borate buffer ( ph 8.3 ) , 300 mm nacl , 3 unit of ace and an appropriate amount of the inhibitor solution was preincubated for 10 min at 37.
the reaction was initiated by adding 50 l of hip - his - leu at a final concentration of 5 mm , and terminated after 30 min of incubation by adding 250 l of 1.0 n hcl .
the hippuric acid liberated was extracted with 1 ml of ethyl acetate , and 0.8 ml of the extract was evaporated .
the absorbance at 228 nm was measured to estimate the ace inhibitory activity ( choi , 2001 ) .
the concentration of ace inhibitor required to inhibit 50% of the ace activity under the above assay conditions was defined as ic50 .
to select an extracellular ace inhibitor - producing yeast , culture broth of 350 kinds of yeasts were tested for ace inhibitory activities . among them , strain g-14 showed the greatest ace inhibitory activity .
morphological , biochemical and cultural characteristics of the g-14 strain are summarized in table 1 , 2 and fig .
1 . the selected g-14 strain was a spherical shaped yeast that did not form an ascospore .
the strain formed a pseudomycelium and had no urease activity and also can not assimilate nitrate .
a white color was shown in the ttc colorization test and the g+c content was 52.5 mol% .
although the strain assimilated almost of the sugars except soluble starch and xylose , it could not ferment all sugars . from these characteristics , the strain , was identified as malassezia pachydermatis ( kreger - van , 1984 ) .
furthermore , the supernatants of m. pachydermatis g-14 culture broth were digested with pepsin and trypsin under each optimal reaction condition ( rhyu , 1996 ) and then ace inhibitory activity of the hydrolysates was determined .
original ace inhibitory activity did not decreased and scarcely maintained even after digestion by pepsin ( 42.5% ) and trypsin ( 43.8% ) ( data not shown ) .
the effects of nitrogen sources on the production of the ace inhibitor were investigated in basal medium containing 2.0% glucose .
as shown in table 3 , m. pachydermatis g-14 did not grow with inorganic nitrogen sources and ace inhibitor was not produced .
the maximum production of the ace inhibitor was obtained in yped medium and casamino acid was a good nitrogen source for the production of ace inhibitor .
furthermore , optimum concentration of yeast extract and peptone for the production of ace inhibitor was 0.5% and 3.0% , respectively and its ace inhibitory activity was 46.8% ( table 4 ) .
the effects of culture temperature on the production of the ace inhibitor were examined in various temperature ( 25~40 ) . for its growth m. pachydermatis preferred 37 , whereas optimal temperature for the ace inhibitor production was 30 ( fig .
therefore , we decided to culture the strain at 30 for mass production of ace inhibitor .
time course of the ace inhibitor production was determined in flask culture under the optimal culture conditions . as shown in fig .
3 , ace inhibitor production increased with cell growth , and the maximum cell growth and ace inhibitor production were obtained at 24 h of cultivation and its ace inhibitory activity was 48.9% . considering the above results , the optimum culture condition for production of the ace inhibitor was that medium was composed of 0.5% yeast extract , 3.0% peptone and 2.0% glucose , and culture temperature and time were 30 and 24 h , respectively .
to select an extracellular ace inhibitor - producing yeast , culture broth of 350 kinds of yeasts were tested for ace inhibitory activities . among them , strain g-14 showed the greatest ace inhibitory activity .
morphological , biochemical and cultural characteristics of the g-14 strain are summarized in table 1 , 2 and fig .
1 . the selected g-14 strain was a spherical shaped yeast that did not form an ascospore .
the strain formed a pseudomycelium and had no urease activity and also can not assimilate nitrate .
a white color was shown in the ttc colorization test and the g+c content was 52.5 mol% .
although the strain assimilated almost of the sugars except soluble starch and xylose , it could not ferment all sugars . from these characteristics , the strain , was identified as malassezia pachydermatis ( kreger - van , 1984 ) .
furthermore , the supernatants of m. pachydermatis g-14 culture broth were digested with pepsin and trypsin under each optimal reaction condition ( rhyu , 1996 ) and then ace inhibitory activity of the hydrolysates was determined .
original ace inhibitory activity did not decreased and scarcely maintained even after digestion by pepsin ( 42.5% ) and trypsin ( 43.8% ) ( data not shown ) .
the effects of nitrogen sources on the production of the ace inhibitor were investigated in basal medium containing 2.0% glucose .
as shown in table 3 , m. pachydermatis g-14 did not grow with inorganic nitrogen sources and ace inhibitor was not produced .
the maximum production of the ace inhibitor was obtained in yped medium and casamino acid was a good nitrogen source for the production of ace inhibitor .
furthermore , optimum concentration of yeast extract and peptone for the production of ace inhibitor was 0.5% and 3.0% , respectively and its ace inhibitory activity was 46.8% ( table 4 ) .
the effects of culture temperature on the production of the ace inhibitor were examined in various temperature ( 25~40 ) . for its growth m. pachydermatis preferred 37 , whereas optimal temperature for the ace inhibitor production was 30 ( fig .
2 ) . therefore , we decided to culture the strain at 30 for mass production of ace inhibitor .
time course of the ace inhibitor production was determined in flask culture under the optimal culture conditions . as shown in fig .
3 , ace inhibitor production increased with cell growth , and the maximum cell growth and ace inhibitor production were obtained at 24 h of cultivation and its ace inhibitory activity was 48.9% . considering the above results , the optimum culture condition for production of the ace inhibitor was that medium was composed of 0.5% yeast extract , 3.0% peptone and 2.0% glucose , and culture temperature and time were 30 and 24 h , respectively .
there are two kinds of system in the regulation of blood pressure , that is , renin - angiotensin system and kallikrein - kinin system . among them , angiotensin i - converting enzyme ( ace , dipeptidyl carboxy peptidase i , e.c 3.4.15.1 ) is the key enzyme in the renin - angiotensin system , which catalyzes production of active hypertensive hormone angiotensin ii ( asp - arg - val - tyr - ile - his - pro - phe ) from inactive pro - hormone angiotensin i ( asp - arg - val - tyr - ile - his - pro - phe - his - leu ) .
this conversion action endows ace with a very important role in regulating blood pressure through the direct action of angiotensin ii on blood vessels , sympathetic nerves and adrenal glands ( folkow , 1961 ) .
there are known some ways to remedy or prevent hypertension such as utilization of the ace inhibitor or receptor blocker of angiotensin ii .
however , ace inhibitors have long been used effectively because they inhibited both aces in renin - angiotensin system and kallikrein - kinin system , and their pharmaceutical effects are good and have less side - effect than chemically synthesized , antihypertensive drug , captopril .
since the ace inhibitor was discovered for the first time from snake venom ( ferreira , 1970 ) , many antihypertensive ace inhibitors have been isolated and characterized from various natural sources such as foods , enzymatic hydrolysates of proteins , alcohol beverages and its by - products , cereals and legumes , etc ( fujita , 2000 ; ondetti , 1982 ; morigiwa , 1986 ; matsumura , 1993 ; sugiyama , 1991 ; sun , 1997 ; maruyama , 1989 ; miyoshi , 1991 ; saito , 1994 ) .
many research groups have been screened for novel ace inhibitors of microbial origin such as doratomyces putredinis , nocardia orientalis ( ando , 1987 ) , virgaria nigra ( ando , 1988 ) , actinomycetes ( kido , 1983 ) , baker 's yeast ( kohama , 1990 ) and basidiomycetes ( lee , 2003 ) .
wf-10129 , obtained from doratomyces putredinis , is an ace inhibitor resembling to the potent synthetic ace inhibitor , enalapril , and is a substituted n - carboxymethyl dipeptide .
wf-10129 inhibited ace in a dose - dependent manner and its ic50 was 14 nm . kohama et al .
( 1990 ) isolated 3 kinds of ace inhibitory peptides from baker 's yeast glyceraldehyde-3-phosphate dehydrogenase . among them , yg-1(gly - his - lys - ile - ala - thr - phe - gln - glu - arg , ic50 : 0.4 m ) was the most potent yeast ace inhibitor .
( 1986 ) isolated strong antihypertensive triterpene compounds such as ganoderal a , ganoderols a , and b , and ganoderic acids k and s from 70% methanol extract of ganoderma lucidum .
recently , lee et al . ( 2003 ) isolated an ace inhibitory peptide from tricholoma gigantum .
even though a number of microbial ace inhibitors were reported ( kim , 2003 ) , almost of them were intracellular ace inhibitors .
however , m. pachydermatis g-14 was the first strain in yeast as a producer of extracellular ace inhibitor . that optimum growth temperature of m. pachydermatis ( 37 ) was higher than that of general yeast ( 25~30 ) and ace inhibitory activity was also shown high at 37 of cultivation , suggestsing that ace inhibitor from m. pachydermatis may be thermostable .
many natural ace inhibitors and synthetic ace inhibitors such as captopril , enalapril and lisinopril were known as remarkably effective antihypertensive drug ( ondetti , 1977 ) .
since , m. pachydermatis g-14 produces as extracellular ace inhibitor , its use will be easy and economic for the inhibitor production .
furthermore , the ace inhibitor has high resistance to some proteases attack without side effects .
therefore , ace inhibitor from m. pachydermatis g-14 might be useful in the preparation of antihypertensive drug or foods . | pubmed |
ischemic mitral regurgitation can be defined as moderate to severe mitral leak precipitated by acute myocardial infarction .
valve repair is now the procedure of choice , but some cases can pose difficult anatomy .
most patients with ischemic mitral regurgitation have predominant annular dilatation at the posterior commissure and require only ring annuloplasty .
if papillary muscle elongation or rupture occurs , gore - tex artificial chordal replacement performs well . with ischemic mitral regurgitation accompanying posterior ventricular aneurysms ,
standard trans - atrial mitral repair provides the best results , with associated aneurysms being repaired concurrently .
surgical approaches and technical outcomes of mitral repair in ischemic mitral regurgitation are illustrated in 5 patients using operative images and echocardiograms .
each method is illustrated , including ring annuloplasty , pericardial leaflet augmentation , artificial chordal replacement , and ventricular aneurysm repair . using these techniques ,
virtually all ischemic mitral regurgitation can be repaired , with consequential patient benefits , even in the most complex anatomy .
ischemic mitral regurgitation has been shown to have better outcomes when managed with valve repair . using combinations of annular , leaflet , and chordal procedures
, even complex ischemic mitral regurgitation can undergo autologous reconstruction with excellent long - term results .
several divergent concepts currently exist about the prognosis and management of ischemic mitral regurgitation ( imr ) .
they range from little can be done to modify the dismal prognosis - to mitral repair can cure the disorder ; from mitral repair should be uniform - to prosthetic replacement achieves more certain results .
one problem is that conclusions have been based on multiple different surgical approaches between centers , and also , statistical techniques often have been suboptimal .
thus , it is likely that outcome benefits did vary between institutions , with differences in surgery and other factors , accounting for the divergent conclusions .
the goal of this paper is to review repair techniques for imr used over the past 25 years at duke university medical center and to document observed outcome characteristics .
imr can be defined as mitral regurgitation precipitated by myocardial infarction , with essentially normal leaflet and chordal support .
imr usually is associated with myocardial necrosis , rather than reversible ischemia , and the infarction is usually inferior .
fact , mitral valve competence requires the integrated function of all five aspects of the valve - annulus , leaflets , chordae , papillary muscles , and ventricular wall . as defined in george burch s classic 1966 papillary muscle dysfunction paper , most cases involve predominant posterior annular dilatation , but others experience leaflet tethering due to infarct expansion . rarely , papillary muscles can elongate or rupture , producing leaflet prolapse .
the common type of imr involves the posterior wall , usually is caused by right and/or circumflex coronary occlusion , produces moderate posterior - lateral left ventricular ( lv ) dysfunction , and usually will not reverse with revascularization alone . as described in the 1980 s , the decision to repair the valve should be based on the appearance of moderate or severe imr on the intra - operative transesophageal echo ( tee ) , sometimes with provocative volume loading from the pump before bypass . surgical techniques .
posterior annular dilatation is an important mechanism of imr , and has been almost uniformly corrected in our practice with a true - sized full rigid or semi - rigid ring .
it has been shown that fixed reduction in anterior - posterior annular geometry is extremely important in this entity .
these patients often have minor leaflet abnormalities , such as fetal commissural cusps or clefts , predisposing them to opening up the valve with ischemic posterior annular dilatation .
occasionally , leaflets can be tethered by infarct expansion , contributing to lack of valve closure .
as langer showed , a posterior leaflet autologous pericardial patch can be used to compensate for the tethering , and this approach provides a large margin of safetylong - term , especially if further geometric changes occur . for leaflet prolapse due to elongated or ruptured papillary muscles , gore - tex artificial chords can be placed to a viable papillary muscle , adjusting chordal lengths after ring placement , as we have described .
the first patient is a 77 year old man , experiencing an acute circumflex infarct that produced acute moderate to severe mitral regurgitation ( mr ) and congestive heart failure . on tee ( figures 1 a , b )
, there is loss of valve coaptation at the posterior commissure ( red arrow ) , due to annular dilatation from a large posterior lateral infarct ( green arrow ) .
this produced the characteristic loss of coaptation area and a central mr jet , but both leaflets are at the annular plane and not tethered or prolapsed ( figure 1c ) .
after simple insertion of a full rigid ring , the valve is entirely competent ( figure 1d ) .
panel a is a short axis view of the left ventricle , showing an expanded posterior - lateral wall infarct ( green arrow ) .
panel b shows a gap in mitral coaptation at the posterior commissure during systole ( red arrow ) , producing a central regurgitant jet ( panel c ) , but the leaflets are at the annular plane .
this is the most common echocardiographic appearance of ischemic mitral regurgitation . in panel d ,
the second patient is a 55 year old obese diabetic who experienced a right coronary infarct and imr 6 months earlier that were treated with right coronary artery ( rca ) stenting . despite revascularization , imr and
she then developed an in - stent stenosis in the rca and an additional left anterior descending coronary artery ( lad ) lesion , and her ventricle showed residuals of the inferior infarct , with generalized dilatation .
there was loss of central mitral coaptation , due to annular dilatation , a hint of tenting and leaflet tethering ( figure 2a ) , and moderate to severe mr with a central jet ( figure 2 b).when the valve was inspected , however , the posterior leaflet seemed fine with good closure and minimal tethering on valve testing by ventricular distension with cold saline ( figure 2c ) . therefore ,
the valve is repaired by simple placement of a carpentier ring , with good recovery of competence , and no residual leak ( figure 2d ) .
so , most ischemic mitral regurgitation ( mr ) can be repaired with full ring annuloplasty alone , which achieves excellent results , with a documented 2% late reoperation rate , 9% late moderate mr recurrence rate , and quite satisfactory echocardiographic results . clinical images in a patient with chronic ischemic mitral regurgitation .
panel a shows a hint of leaflet tethering ( green arrow ) , with both leaflets slightly below the annular plane .
in panel c , the posterior leaflet seems to coapt well ( red arrow ) with no evidence of tethering during valve testing with cold saline injection .
therefore , a simple ring annuloplasty was performed , and in panel d , the valve is completely competent .
the third patient is a frail elderly female presenting with an acute circumflex infarct and severe imr , treated initially with percutaneous coronary intervention ( pci ) . unlike the first 2 patients , she had prominent posterior leaflet tethering by echocardiography ( figure 3a ) , and severe lv dysfunction , mainly in the lateral wall due to the infarct . on emergency angiography , she had an occluded circumflex artery , but also lad and rca stenoses .
the circumflex was stented , but the imr persisted , the heart failure remained severe , and the ejection fraction continued at a 0.20 level . a magnetic resonance viability study was performed . in imr patients with low ejection fractions , we will operate if 2 of the 3 regions appear viable .
in fact , this patient seemed to have good residual myocardium everywhere . upon inspecting the valve ,
the right aspect of the posterior leaflet was tethered , and the posterior leaflet would nt coapt , even with saline distension . in figure 3b , one can see the posterior leaflet pulled down into the ventricle with tethering from infarct expansion .
a gluteraldehyde - fixed autologous pericardial patch was inserted into the posterior leaflet to compensate for the tethering , and the valve became nicely competent .
most of what is seen in figure 3c is patch , with the posterior leaflet moving down into the ventricle to become the entire coaptation area , and the valve is entirely competent ( figure 3d )
panel a shows both leaflets tented into the ventricle and not closing properly due to tethering ( green arrow ) .
direct inspection in panel b reveals taught posterior leaflet chords at the posterior commissure , inhibiting valve closure ( red arrow ) .
after insertion of an autologous pericardial patch into the posterior leaflet and placement of a carpentier ring ( panel c ) , the valve is entirely competent with a large coaptation area ( panel d ) .
the margin of safety provided by the patch may reduce later imr recurrence with further infarct expansion , or other problems .
a transthoracic echocardiogram , obtained 6 months postoperatively , showed good valve opening , and only trivial residual leak .
the fourth patient is a 57 year old man who had a major right coronary infarct , producing severe mr , a posterior lv aneurysm , and severe heart failure .
he also had lad disease , and - there was a large posterior wall aneurysm ( figure 4a ) .
the aneurysm was resected and closed primarily , approximating viable aneurysm edge to viable edge and removing all non - contractile scar . upon inspecting the valve , he had a chronically ruptured posterior papillary muscle at the posterior commissure , with severe prolapse that was not appreciated on the echo ( figure 4b ) .
a 2 - 0 gore - tex artificial chord was placed to a viable papillary muscle and stuffed into the ventricle for later retrieval . after ring placement ,
after repair , the valve was nicely competent ( figure 4c ) , with no residual leak ( figure 4d ) .
panel a is the left ventriculogram from a patient with severe ischemic mitral regurgitation and a large posterior wall aneurysm ( green arrow ) . in panel b
is shown an associated chronically ruptured papillary muscle producing prolapse of a posterior commissural cusp ( red arrow ) . in panel c
, an artificial chord has been placed to the commissural cusp , along with a carpentier ring , and the valve is completely competent ( panel d ) . combined chords and patches .
the last patient is a 61 year old man with a remote coronary bypass for an inferior infarction , and severe persistent imr due to simultaneous leaflet tethering and prolapse - a rare combination . in figure 5a
, one can see 2 separate jets of imr , with the posterior leaflet tethered down into the ventricle ( figure 5b ) and a segment of anterior leaflet prolapsing ( figure 5c ) .
thus , the patient had simultaneous posterior leaflet tethering from infarct expansion , and anterior leaflet prolapse due to papillary muscle elongation . with a patch to the posterior leaflet and an artificial chord to the anterior leaflet , the valve was completely competent with good leaflet position and no residual leak ( figure 5d ) .
this case illustrates that some varieties of imr can be quite complex , but with various combinations of full rings , pericardial patches , and artificial chords , the vast majority can be effectively repaired .
intraoperative transesophageal echo frames from an ischemic mitral regurgitation patient with both posterior leaflet tethering and anterior leaflet prolapse .
after repair of both lesions with a posterior leaflet pericardial patch and a chord to the anterior leaflet , the valve is fully competent ( panel d ) .
outcome characteristics of mitral repair.from several sources , it is now clear that the generally poor prognosis after mitral valve repair for imr ( a 56% 5-year unadjusted survival in our series ) is due primarily to the adverse patient profiles that are characteristic of this population , such as advanced age , numerous co - morbidities , and left ventricular dysfunction .
if these baseline risk factors are taken into account with a cox model ( figure 6 ) , valve repair seems to restore these patients to an adjusted survival that is similar to standard coronary bypass . also of note in this analysis , is the average 14% better risk - adjusted survival with valve repair , as compared to prosthetic valve replacement , which is consistent with most recent analyses .
survival curves over 15 years of follow - up adjusted with a cox proportional hazards model for differences in all important baseline patient characteristics .
the blue curve represents adjusted survival characteristics for 16,209 patients having coronary bypass alone without intraoperative transesophageal ( group 1 ) .
the red curve represents adjusted survival for 3,181 patients with mild - to - moderate intraoperative transesophageal treated with coronary bypass alone ( group 2a ) .
the green curve is adjusted survival for 416 patients with moderate - to - severe intraoperative transesophageal managed with mitral valve repair ( group 2b ) . and finally , the brown curve represents adjusted survival of 106 patients with moderate - to - severe intraoperative transesophageal receiving mitral valve replacement ( group 2c ) .
mitral repair for moderate - to - severe intraoperative transesophageal restored adjusted survival to levels equivalent to standard coronary bypass patients with similar risk profiles .
mitral valve replacement achieved an average 14% lower risk - adjusted survival over 15 years , as compared to valve repair .
in summary , the pathophysiology of ischemic mr can be complex , with aspects involving the annulus , leaflets , chords , papillary muscles , and ventricular wall .
based on our clinical experience , mitral valve repair should be the procedure of choice for moderate or worse imr , as encountered in the coronary disease population .
finally , effective mitral repair restores imr patients to a prognosis that is similar to standard coronary bypass , for a given patient s age and co - morbidities , and repair seems superior to valve replacement in all subsets . | pubmed |
cilia are organelles that extend out from the cell surface and are composed of nine parallel microtubule doublets surrounded by an extension of the plasma membrane ( fig .
cilia act as antennas to sense developmental signaling molecules ( eggenschwiler and anderson , 2007 ) and physiological ligands ( christensen et al . , 2007 ) .
cilia also generate flows of mucus and cerebrospinal fluid and can act as mechanosensors and flow meters ( praetorius and spring , 2003 ) .
the different functions of cilia are reflected in the structural diversity of cilia even within a single organism .
for example , the dynein arms that power motile cilia are missing in purely sensory cilia .
sensory cilia themselves can attain a wide variety of structures ; for example , in caenorhabditis elegans , some sensory cilia have unusual fanlike shapes , whereas other sensory cilia in the same animal have more canonical structures ( perkins et al . , 1986 ) .
cilia are arrays of nine microtubule doublets that extend from the basal body ( a modified centriole ) and push out an extension of the plasma membrane ( called the ciliary membrane ) .
some cilia also contain a pair of singlet microtubules in the middle called the central pair that is involved in regulating motility .
motile power is provided by two sets of dynein arms : the inner and outer arms .
defects in any of these structures can lead to ciliary diseases , although the precise symptoms that arise appear to depend on which structure is altered . given the multiple roles of cilia in development and physiology , it is not surprising that defects in cilia cause multiple human diseases ( table i ; for reviews see afzelius , 2004 ; badano et al .
perhaps the most puzzling aspect of ciliopathies is that different ciliary diseases involve different , often partially overlapping sets of symptoms .
for instance , bardet - biedl patients suffer from obesity , retinal degeneration , and cystic kidneys , whereas oral - facial - digital syndrome patients suffer from polydactyly and cystic kidneys . however , both types of diseases result from defects in genes whose protein products localize to the ciliary basal body .
the key to this question is to realize that despite the growing wealth of genomic and proteomic data on cilia composition ( inglis et al . , 2006 ) , cilia are not just lists of genes but complex organelles with variable ultrastructures that must assemble and function in different tissue contexts . for reviews of human ciliopathies ,
. why might defects in two cilia - related genes lead to distinct diseases ? there are several ways this can happen : ( 1 ) some ciliary genes may have additional cilia - unrelated gene functions ; ( 2 ) some mutations may affect the ciliogenesis of only a subset of all cilia in the body ; and ( 3 ) genetic defects may affect different ultrastructural modules of cilia and , thus , only influence a subset of ciliary functions .
some genes involved in ciliary assembly or function may have additional functions unrelated to cilia so that when mutated , they cause a combination of cilia - related and -unrelated symptoms .
one example is the huntingtin - interacting protein hippi / ift57 , which appears to play roles in both ciliogenesis and apoptosis ( houde et al . , 2006 ) .
diseases or mutations altering hippi function can thus affect both body symmetry ( cilia related ) as well as apoptotic stress response in the brain ( presumably cilia unrelated ) .
similarly , many cell polarity proteins are required for ciliogenesis ( schermer et al . , 2006 ; fan et al . , 2007 )
, so mutations in such genes might cause ciliary defects in combination with other polarity - related phenotypes .
for example , the intraflagellar transport ( ift ) motor kif3 also functions in axonal transport ( kondo et al . , 1994 ) . similarly , gas11 is a component of the dynein regulatory complex , a protein complex attached to the outer doublets that regulates dynein arm activity , but it also localizes to the golgi , where it may mediate golgi microtubule interactions ( colantonio et al . , 2006 ) .
these results should sound a cautionary note every time one sees the phrase cilia specific .
studies in model organisms such as c. elegans have shown that not all cilia are the same in terms of the machinery needed to build and maintain them .
it is known that in some cell types , cilia microtubules undergo ongoing turnover ( stephens , 1997 ) , whereas in others , the axonemal microtubules appear to be much less dynamic .
therefore , the degree to which the machinery of ciliogenesis , including ift ( see scholey on p. 23 of this issue ) , is required in these different types of cilia will clearly differ , with more dynamic cilia requiring a higher efficacy of continual assembly .
such cilia would be the first to go in a disease mutation that partially reduced ift .
therefore , hypomorphic alleles of ciliogenesis genes might cause defects in only a subset of cilia , leading to an overall phenotype that differs from that of a null mutant .
there are also clearly different requirements for the assembly of cilia in different cell types within a single organism . in c. elegans ,
the different sensory cilia have dramatically different morphologies , with some having elaborate branched or fanlike structures and others having more canonical cylindrical cilia shapes .
in addition to these structural differences , the different types of cilia also differ in their requirement for different parts of the ift machinery .
two different kinesins , kinesin - ii and osm-3 , normally cooperate to build sensory cilia , with osm-3 specifically required to build the distal half of the cilium , which contains only singlet microtubules and is presumably specialized for sensory functions ( ou et al . , 2005 ) .
interestingly , in the cilia of the awb neurons , the two motors are no longer coupled , and , unlike in the other ciliary types previously analyzed , osm-3 is no longer required to build the distal segment ( mukhopadhyay et al . , 2007 ) .
in an even more extreme case , some ciliary structures such as sperm flagella in drosophila melanogaster do not require ift at all for their assembly ( han et al . , 2003 ) . in diatoms
, the lack of retrograde ift motor along with ift complex a and bardet - biedl syndrome proteins ( scholey , 2008 ) from the genome suggests that these parts of the ift systems are dispensable in some cases ( merchant et al . , 2007 ) .
if a similar variability in the requirement for ift is seen between different cell and tissue types in humans , one could imagine that genetic defects in different components of the ift machinery might have more severe ciliary defects in some cell types than in others . a dramatic difference in the mechanism of ciliogenesis
in contrast to primary cilia in most cells , cilia in the airway and ependymal cells are nucleated by basal bodies that form de novo in large spherical arrays called deuterosomes ( dirksen , 1991 ) .
defects in deuterosome - specific genes might result in cilia defects specifically in multiciliated epithelia without having any effect on sensory primary cilia .
adult - onset ciliopathy can result from the spontaneous loss of heterozygosity of a ciliary gene in patients carrying one mutant allele .
this second hit would occur long after embryogenesis ; thus , developmental defects such as polydactyly would not be seen .
timing of ciliopathy onset can be studied using inducible cre - mediated knockout alleles ( garcia - gonzalez et al . , 2007 ) .
1 ) , and the individual structural modules ( for example , central pair , dynein arms , and radial spokes ) are involved in different functions .
for instance , the dynein arms or radial spokes are needed for motile but not for sensory functions , whereas ciliary membrane channels may be required for sensing but not for motion .
thus , a particular disease mutation can affect some particular subset of ciliary structural or functional features while leaving others intact .
this effect is clearly seen in primary ciliary dyskinesia ( pcd ) , which is also known as immotile cilia syndrome .
pcd generally involves defects in dynein arms , radial spokes , or the central pair ( which is to say , components of the motile machinery ) .
defects in such structures would not be expected to affect signaling ; for example , one does not typically observe polydactyly or other hedgehog signaling defects during development in pcd patients .
similarly , pcd patients do not suffer from cystic kidneys , obesity , or retinal degeneration because these symptoms arise from defects in ciliary structures that are not involved in motility .
the main symptoms of pcd , namely defects in mucus clearance , are seen with any defect in motile structures .
another symptom commonly associated with immotile cilia is hydrocephalus , reflecting a role of ependymal cell cilia in moving cerebrospinal fluid .
hydrocephalus appears to be specifically associated with defects in the central pair microtubules as typified by the mouse hydin mutant , which has hydrocephalus and lacks the central pair ( davy and robinson , 2003 ; lechtreck and witman , 2007 ) .
a third symptom of immotile cilia is situs inversus , an inversion of the normal left - right asymmetry of internal organs .
situs inversus occurs because the motion of primary cilia in the mammalian node generates a leftward fluid flow that breaks the left / right symmetry during development .
however , the node cilia appear to lack the central pair microtubules , at least early in development , and , consistent with an absence of the central pair at this stage , mutations that lead to loss of the central pair microtubules ( e.g. , hydin mutants ) do not generally lead to situs inversus .
distinct ciliary substructures may also play distinct and separable roles in cilia - mediated signaling . a mouse mutation , hennin ,
causes an alteration in the spatial extent of hedgehog signaling during development ( caspary et al . , 2007 ) .
interestingly , the effect on hedgehog may occur via alteration in the structure of the cilium itself ( caspary et al . , 2007 ) , causing the b tubule of the outer doublets to be incomplete , with a gap at the point where it meets the a tubule toward the interior of the cilium .
the protofilament of the b tubule that interacts with the a tubule in this region has an unusual appearance in electron micrographs and may not even be composed of tubulin ( for review see linck and stephens , 2007 ) , and so it is indeed interesting to speculate on the functional consequences of losing this very unusual structural element .
the zebrafish fleer mutant also has a defect in b - tubule joining to the a tubule , apparently as the result of a loss of fleer - specific tubulin polyglutamylation .
however , unlike the hennin phenotype , in fleer mutants , the gap between the a and b tubules is at the other a b junction facing the ciliary membrane ( pathak et al . , 2007 ) .
it is difficult to compare mouse and fish mutants directly because the large maternal stores in the fish embryo can mask early developmental phenotypes . at the very least ,
these results raise the possibility that specific protofilaments of the b tubule might play specific roles in signaling .
if structures involved in motility also play roles in signaling during development , one would expect human patients with defects in these structures to be less likely to survive past birth .
this might explain why mutations in the outer dynein arms are so frequently seen as the cause of pcd in patients ( hornef et al . , 2006 ) because mutations in the outer doublets or the central pair may end up leading to more severe symptoms .
the ciliary membrane is another component of the cilium in which functional molecules reside . a wide range of receptors and channels are located in this specialized membrane , which are crucial for ciliary function .
for example , transient receptor potential channels have been observed to actively move along the ciliary membrane ( qin et al . , 2005 ) , although the purpose of this motion for signal transduction remains unknown .
one of the best - defined ciliary membrane channels is the mechanical stress sensor consisting of the polycystins polycystic kidney disease 1 ( pkd1 ) and pkd2 , mutations in which cause autosomal dominant pkd .
, 2001 ; yoder et al . , 2002 ) and are thought to confer on cilia the ability to sense flow in the kidney .
pkd patients with defects in these proteins do not show other ciliary defects , suggesting the pkd proteins are not required for ciliogenesis or other ciliary functions .
defects in particular downstream signaling pathways could mimic the effect of ciliary loss in cell types that rely on these pathways while leaving ciliary function in other cell types unaffected .
defects in the trafficking and biogenesis of the ciliary membrane may also lead to disease .
the bardet - biedl syndrome protein complex interacts with a guanine nucleotide exchange factor for rab8 , which itself appears to regulate the recruitment of membrane to the cilium ( nachury et al . , 2007 ) .
defects in ciliary membrane trafficking might produce subtle changes in ciliary function . finally , we consider what happens if the cilia are completely normal in terms of structure and composition but are simply in the wrong place at the wrong time .
cilia must also be on the right surface of the cell ( for instance , facing the lumen of a duct ) to sense the right environment .
one of the most dramatic types of ciliary mislocalization that has been reported in patients is the targeting of cilia to intracellular vacuoles rather than the cell surface ( hagiwara et al . , 2000 ) . in these cases
, one can imagine that sensory cilia function would continue to operate except that instead of sensing the environment that the cell thinks it is sensing , for instance a duct lumen , the cilia are instead sensing the environment within the vacuole .
this could differ in the extreme from the normal extracellular environment and might inappropriately activate cilia - based signaling pathways with drastic negative consequences for the cell 's function .
the bottom line is that cilia are complex , and details of the complexity vary from one cell type to another . to understand the full spectrum of ciliary diseases , therefore , we must learn much more about cell type
a key first step would be to use proteomics to identify differences in the composition of different types of cilia
. another important step would be the development of simple assays for ciliary function and structure that can be applied in a range of tissues , both in animal models and in samples from human patients , to understand how different mutations affect different types of cilia . | pubmed |
when light passes through a fluid , correlations over space and time in the density fluctuations are responsible for the scattering of light . in fact , the dynamic structure factor @xmath0 , which is the space - time fourier transform of the space - time correlations of density fluctuations in the fluid@xcite , reflects the strength of the exchanges of energy and momentum between a light beam and the fluid as a function of wavevector @xmath1 and frequency @xmath2 . for a one - component newtonian fluid in equilibrium
, the theory for @xmath0 was first given correctly in 1934 by landau and placzek@xcite and later rederived using fluctuating hydrodynamics@xcite and the approach advocated by mountain @xcite,@xcite,@xcite .
in fluctuating hydrodynamics , random fluxes are added to the hydrodynamic equations ( linearized about equilibrium ) which then appear as stochastic equations of the langevin type .
the fluctuation - dissipation theorem provides a connection between the spectrum of spontaneous fluctuations in thermal equilibrium and the transport properties of the system .
in contrast , the dynamic structure factor in mountain s work is derived directly from the linearized hydrodynamic equations without resorting to any kind of fluctuating term added to the constitutive equations .
it is worthwhile to note here that both routes lead to the same results and that these results have been confirmed many times by light scattering measurements in various systems . for nonequilibrium fluctuations in newtonian fluids ,
the theory was developed rather more recently@xcite - @xcite and the few available experiments seem also to confirm its validity@xcite-@xcite .
the extension of fluctuating hydrodynamics to steady states is made on the basis of the simple hypothesis that the fast degrees of freedom behave as `` if they were in local equilibrium at the value of the thermodynamic parameters determined from the solution to the steady state problem '' @xcite . with this statement
it is assumed that the statistics of the stochastic forces behaves as if they were within a local equilibrium environment around each point * r * of the system @xcite .
it is usual under this hypothesis to rewrite the correlation functions of the stochastic fluxes by substituting the equilibrium thermodynamic properties and transport coefficients by their space dependent values .
another way to see this assumption is based on the markov property : the random fluxes are not affected by the applied gradients since the correlation length is of microscopic order @xcite .
studies of fluctuations in non - newtonian fluids are also relatively abundant . some of these systems have also been described under the scope of linear langevin approaches , as is the case of viscoelastic fluids near equilibrium states @xcite , suspensions in viscoelastic fluids under density and velocity gradients @xcite and colloidal suspensions including memory effects @xcite .
on the other hand , there are many treatments _ la mountain _ in this kind of fluids as well @xcite - @xcite . among these , although at the time meant in a different context , we want to mention here explicitly the study of ( equilibrium ) rayleigh - brillouin scattering in polyatomic fluids within an extended irreversible thermodynamic treatment @xcite carried out by lpez de haro , rodrguez and garca - coln a few years ago @xcite . there , no explicit emphasis on the non - newtonian character of the fluid was made , although of course the evolution equations for the trace and the symmetric traceless part of the stress tensor clearly imply this character .
more recently , vzquez and lpez de haro@xcite have shown the equivalence of the computation of the equilibrium dynamic structure factor of a maxwell fluid both using fluctuating hydrodynamics and mountain s approach .
it is a major aim of the present paper to profit from the results of these previous works and to generalize them to the case where the fluid is subjected to an external temperature gradient .
the idea is to assess to what extent non - newtonian effects , which have been considered negligible in actual experiments , do affect the light - scattering spectrum .
the paper is organized as follows . in sect .
ii we compute the equilibrium dynamic structure factor of a maxwell fluid in which thermal conduction is governed by fourier s law .
this is done using fluctuating hydrodynamics . sect .
iii deals with the same fluid which has now been brought to a steady state by the action of an externally imposed temperature gradient . here
we compute the light - scattering spectrum with the aid of the extension of fluctuating hydrodynamics to nonequilibrium steady states .
the paper is closed in sect .
iv with a discussion and some concluding remarks .
we here first analyze the case of a maxwell fluid in equilibrium ( _ i.e. _ a fluid in which instead of the navier - newton law , both elastic and viscous effects are incorporated into the constitutive equation for the stress tensor , c.f .
( [ 27 ] ) below ) and we further assume that heat conduction is governed by the classical fourier law . for this case , the corresponding full hydrodynamic equations ( written in terms of the density , velocity and entropy density of the fluid denoted by @xmath3 and @xmath4 , respectively ) are the continuity equation , the momentum balance equation and the energy balance equation , namely @xmath5 @xmath6 and @xmath7 which must be complemented with the constitutive equations for the heat flux vector @xmath8 and the stress tensor @xmath9 . these equations in our case read @xmath10 and @xmath11 here , @xmath12 is the hydrostatic pressure , @xmath13 is the temperature , @xmath14 is the shear viscosity , @xmath15 is the bulk viscosity , @xmath16 is the constant density heat capacity , @xmath17 is the thermal conductivity , @xmath18 is the unit tensor , @xmath19 -\frac{1}{3}\nabla \cdot \mathbf{v}\stackrel{\leftrightarrow } { 1 } $ ] stands for the symmetric and traceless part of the velocity gradient and @xmath20 is the maxwell relaxation time . in eq .
( [ 25 ] ) one can eliminate the hydrostatic pressure in favor of @xmath21 and @xmath4 using the fact that @xmath22 @xmath23 ( where @xmath24 is the adiabatic speed of sound in the fluid , @xmath25 is the thermal expansion coefficient and @xmath26 is the isothermal compressibility ) but the form we have chosen will prove convenient later on .
note also that on the left hand side of eq .
( [ 27 ] ) we have considered the usual material time derivative rather than the corrotational time derivative . although the latter choice would be more satisfactory from the rheological point of view , eq . (
[ 27 ] ) represents the simplest form of the maxwell model . in any case , since later on we will retain only the linear terms , the use of the material time derivative will not imply loss of generality .
we consider for simplicity the case where @xmath27 ( which implies that @xmath28 , where @xmath29 is the constant pressure heat capacity ) and take @xmath30 @xmath31 @xmath32 @xmath33 @xmath16 and @xmath34 to be constant .
let a subscript zero refer to the equilibrium value and a subscript one denote the ( small ) deviation from equilibrium , so that @xmath35 , @xmath36 , @xmath37 , @xmath38and @xmath39 . keeping only linear contributions in the deviations , one gets from eqs .
( [ 1 ] ) , and ( [ 25 ] ) to ( [ 27 ] ) @xmath40 @xmath41 @xmath42 and @xmath43 within fluctuating hydrodynamics@xcite , stochastic contributions @xmath44 and
@xmath45 are added to the momentum and heat fluxes , respectively . at this stage
it is convenient to work in fourier space . denoting by an upper tilde the space and time fourier transform of a given quantity , the linearized continuity , momentum and energy equations in @xmath46 - space ( with @xmath47 the wavevector and @xmath2 the frequency ) are written as @xmath48 @xmath49 and @xmath50 note that in writing eq .
( [ 33 ] ) we have made use of the @xmath51 - space version of eq .
( [ 31 ] ) , namely @xmath52 . \label{35}\ ] ] in order to close the fluctuating hydrodynamics approach , we now require the corresponding fluctuation - dissipation relations . since in the @xmath53- space it follows from eq .
( [ 31 ] ) that @xmath54 \nonumber \\ & \equiv & 2\eta ^{d}(\omega ) \stackrel{\circ } { \nabla \mathbf{v}_{1}}\left ( \mathbf{r},\omega \right ) + \eta _ { v}^{d}(\omega ) \left ( \nabla \cdot \mathbf{% v}_{1}\left ( \mathbf{r},\omega \right ) \right ) \stackrel{\leftrightarrow } { 1}% , \label{stressw}\end{aligned}\ ] ] _ i.e. _ in the frequency domain the maxwell model implies a__linear _ _ relationship between the stress tensor and the thermodynamic forces but with dispersive transport coefficients , @xmath55 and @xmath56 being the dispersive ( complex and frequency - dependent ) transport coefficients , then following landau and lifshitz @xcite the fluctuation - dissipation relations read @xmath57 @xmath58 \delta ^{3}\left ( \mathbf{k - k}% ^{\prime } \right ) \delta \left ( \omega -\omega ^{\prime } \right ) .
\label{40bb}\ ] ] and @xmath59 the angular brackets denoting an ( equilibrium ) ensemble average over the initial states of the system , the asterisk meaning complex conjugation and @xmath60 , @xmath61 being the kronecker delta .
note that the energy equation within the present approximation is decoupled from both the continuity equation and the momentum balance equation .
since the dynamic structure factor @xmath0 is related to the density - density correlation function through @xmath62 the subscript @xmath63 having been introduced to stress the fact that , within the present approximation , it will give the brillouin spectrum , and since from eqs .
( [ 32 ] ) , ( [ 33 ] ) and ( [ 40bb ] ) it follows that @xmath64 @xmath65 ^{2}+\frac{\omega ^{2}}{\rho _ { 0}^{2}}\left ( \frac{4}{3}\eta + \eta _ { v}\right ) ^{2}k^{4 } } , \label{13}\ ] ] one readily identifies
@xmath66 ^{2}+\frac{\omega ^{2}}{\rho _ { 0}^{2}}% \left ( \frac{4}{3}\eta + \eta _ { v}\right ) ^{2}k^{4}}. \label{14}\ ] ] the spectrum given in eq .
( [ 14 ] ) consists of two ( symmetric ) brillouin peaks slightly displaced from @xmath67 and a peak centered at @xmath68 , known as the mountain peak , whose origin can be ascribed to the viscoelastic character of the fluid@xcite .
although in the approximation we have taken of @xmath27 , there is no rayleigh line , if this restriction were avoided , the rayleigh line , also centered around @xmath68 , would follow from the entropy - entropy correlation function . in any case , since to a first approximation the rayleigh line is determined by the coupling of the temperature fluctuations to the transverse velocity fluctuations@xcite , the missing terms ( proportional to @xmath25 ) in eqs .
( [ 33 ] ) and ( [ 34 ] ) will play no role in the final result .
so we compute the entropy - entropy correlation function by manipulating eqs .
( [ 34 ] ) and ( [ 11 ] ) .
the result is @xmath69 where @xmath70 is the thermal diffusivity and the subscript @xmath71 serves to make reference to the connection with the rayleigh line .
we now examine the same maxwell fluid in which heat conduction is governed by fourier 's law but in a layer confined between two parallel plates at @xmath72 and @xmath73 and of infinite extension in the @xmath74plane . in the fluid layer a steady temperature gradient is maintained by fixing the temperatures of the upper and lower planes at different values , namely @xmath75 at @xmath73 and @xmath76 at @xmath72 .
we assume that neither the gravitational force nor any other external forces act on the system . a time - independent solution to eqs .
( [ 1 ] ) to ( [ 27 ] ) leading to a stationary state ( denoted by a subscript @xmath4 ) for the system satisfies the relations @xmath77 @xmath78 @xmath79 due to the symmetry of the problem , eq .
( [ fe3 ] ) together with eq.([27a ] ) leads to @xmath80 for simplicity , let us look at the case where @xmath81 and take @xmath82 @xmath83 @xmath84 @xmath85 @xmath86 and @xmath87 to be constant . since @xmath88 has been assumed to be a constant , it follows from eq .
( [ temp1 ] ) and the boundary conditions that @xmath89 where @xmath90 and @xmath91 further , the condition implied by eq .
( [ fe2 ] ) leads to @xmath92 or @xmath93 , while eq .
( [ fe1 ] ) implies that @xmath94 . let a subscript @xmath95 now denote the ( small ) deviation from the steady state , so that @xmath96 , @xmath97 , @xmath98 , @xmath99 , @xmath100 and @xmath101 . keeping only linear contributions in the deviations , one gets from eqs .
( [ 1 ] ) to ( [ 27 ] ) @xmath102 @xmath103 @xmath104 @xmath105 and @xmath106 the balance equations in the @xmath107 domain read @xmath108 @xmath109 and @xmath110 where @xmath111 is a unit vector in the @xmath112 direction .
we now add fluctuating contributions to the heat flux and stress tensor denoted by @xmath113 and @xmath114 , respectively , take the spatial fourier transform and make use of the stationary state analog of eq .
( [ stressw ] ) to arrive at @xmath115 @xmath116 and @xmath117 in order to proceed any further , we require the fluctuation - dissipation relations obeyed by @xmath118 and @xmath119 . under the hypothesis mentioned in the introduction ,
we follow previous authors in assuming that the fluctuation - dissipation relations have the same form as that for thermal equilibrium , but with the equilibrium temperature replaced by the stationary temperature and the average taken over an stationary ensemble . thus , restricting to small gradients ( linear order in @xmath120 ) in our case one gets @xmath121 @xmath122 , \label{38bis}\ ] ] @xmath123 \delta \left ( \omega -\omega ^{\prime } \right)\ ] ] @xmath124 .
\label{39bis}\ ] ] while @xmath125 tremblay , arai and siggia@xcite have shown that , in a light scattering experiment in which a fluid in a stationary state due to an external temperature gradient is involved , @xmath126 is the correlation function of interest for the brillouin spectrum . by a simple manipulation of eqs .
( [ 35bis ] ) , ( [ 36bis ] ) and ( [ 39bis ] ) it is easy to arrive at @xmath127 } \right]\ ] ] @xmath128 , \label{41bis}\ ] ] where @xmath129 is given by eq .
( [ 14 ] ) and we have identified @xmath130 @xmath131 @xmath132 @xmath133and @xmath134 and introduced the following quantities @xmath135 @xmath136 ^{1/2 } , \label{43bis}\ ] ] and @xmath137 .
\label{44bis}\ ] ] it should be pointed out that in order to perform the expansion leading to the approximation appearing in the second line of eq .
( [ 41bis ] ) , apart from the weak gradient assumption ( _ i . e. _
@xmath138 ) it has also been assumed that @xmath139 .
now we turn to the rayleigh line . again
the restriction @xmath81 implies that the spectrum in eq .
( [ 41bis ] ) contains no rayleigh line .
if such restriction is removed , in order to compute the rayleigh line one again requires the entropy - entropy correlation function . by the same line of reasoning used in connection with eq .
( [ raye ] ) , the missing terms ( proportional to @xmath140 ) in eqs .
( [ 36bis ] ) and ( [ 37bis ] ) will play no role in the final result .
so we proceed with the calculation . from eq .
( [ 37bis ] ) and making the identification @xmath141 it follows that @xmath142 we only need the transverse velocity fluctuations @xmath143 which are obtained from @xmath144 as @xmath145 it is clear from this last equation that if the scattering vector @xmath146 is taken parallel to the temperature gradient , then @xmath147 , so there will be no effect on the entropy - entropy correlation function . therefore we choose @xmath148 . from eqs .
( [ 36bis ] ) and ( [ stressw ] ) it follows that @xmath149 using this expression in eq .
( [ ttemp ] ) yields @xmath150 since any asymmetries occur in the @xmath111 direction , in the scattering plane ( which is orthogonal to the temperature gradient ) spatial and temporal invariance holds .
this in turn implies that from the fluctuation - dissipation relations one finds ( for @xmath1 , @xmath151 ) @xmath152 and @xmath153 use of eqs .
( [ entf ] ) to ( [ tfdr2 ] ) leads finally to @xmath154 @xmath155 } \right ] , \qquad ( \mathbf{k}\perp \widehat{\mathbf{z } } ) , \label{eef}\ ] ] with @xmath156 given by eq .
( [ raye ] ) . eqs .
( [ 41bis ] ) and ( [ eef ] ) are the main results of this paper .
a brief assessment of their potential use will be carried out in the following section .
as a first observation , we note that if the limit @xmath157 is taken , then eqs .
( [ 14 ] ) , ( [ raye ] ) , ( [ 41bis ] ) and ( [ eef ] ) reduce to the well known results for the newtonian fluid ( _ c.f .
_ for instance refs .
@xcite , @xcite and @xcite ) , as they should .
also , the equilibrium light - scattering spectrum in this paper , eq . ( [ 14 ] ) , arises as a particular case of the one computed in ref .
@xcite provided in the latter the relaxation times of the trace and traceless symmetric part of the stress tensor are both set equal to @xmath34 , the internal degrees of freedom are eliminated and the approximation @xmath158 is made . in order to get a picture of the importance of the viscoelastic effects in equilibrium , in fig .
1 we display the equilibrium spectrum ( with @xmath27 ) of both the maxwell fluid and the newtonian fluid .
the thermophysical properties , given in table 1 , are those of toluene @xcite , the temperature has been set to @xmath159 @xmath160 , we have taken as wavenumber @xmath161 @xmath162(which is the value corresponding to a scattering angle of @xmath163 @xmath164 and a wavelength of @xmath165 @xmath166 ) and we have included a very crude estimate of the relaxation time @xmath167 @xmath168 of this liquid obtained from grad s kinetic theory expression .
concerning the nonequilibrium spectrum again with @xmath27 , the presence of the external temperature gradient has a similar effect to the one observed in the newtonian fluids for the brillouin peaks , as illustrated in fig .
we have again used the data corresponding to toluene and taken the gradient to point upwards with @xmath169 @xmath170 , @xmath171 @xmath172 and @xmath173 @xmath160 , these latter numbers fulfilling the restrictions involved in our derivation .
a noteworthy feature is that the asymmetry in the brillouin peaks , related to the fact that there are more sound waves absorbed with wavevector @xmath174 than those emitted with wavevector @xmath1 due to the temperature gradient and its corresponding heat flux is much more pronounced and the peaks become narrower for the viscoelastic fluid . on the other hand , within the various approximations and simplifying asumptions that we made , the mountain peak is not affected by the temperature gradient .
this , which is somewhat surprising and most likely tied to the assumption @xmath158 , is a trivial consequence of the fact that the nonequilibrium correction vanishes for @xmath68 . in conclusion ,
we want to point out that we have derived ( to our knowledge for the first time ) the light - scattering spectrum for a maxwell fluid in a steady state under the action of an external temperature gradient .
although many ( reasonable ) approximations , some of which might be easily disposed of , were made along the way in order to get analytical results , and in spite of the fact that the maxwell fluid is a very simple model of a viscoelastic fluid , we are persuaded that the present calculation captures the essential ( qualitative ) features to be observed in light - scattering experiments in connection with the elasticity of fluids . whether this expectation is real awaits the necessary confrontation with experiment .
this paper is dedicated to prof .
l. s. garca - coln on the occasion of his 70th birthday .
we want to stress here our indebtness to him for his many generous contributions to our academic careers . the work of two of us ( m.l.h . and j.a.r.p . )
has been partially supported by dgapa - unam under project in-107798 .
f. v. acknowledges the partial finantial support by promep - uaem .
thanks are also due to prof .
jan v. sengers whose work and a very fruitful conversation a few years ago served as a motivation to carry out the present research .
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see for instance patterson , g. d. , crc crit .
solid state mater .
* 9 * , 373 ( 1980 ) ; patterson , g. d. and latham , j. p. , j. polym .
: macromolec . rev . *
15 * , 1 ( 1980 ) ; patterson , g. d. , in _ methods in exprimental physics : polymer physics
16a , r. fava , ed .
( academic , new york , 1980 ) , p. 171 ; patterson , g. d. , ann . rev .
* 13 * , 219 ( 1983 ) .
asenbaum , a. , wilhelm , e. , and soufi - siavoch , p. , acustica * 68 * , 131(1989 ) ; sun , t. f. , bominaar , s. a. r. c. , ten seldam , c. a. and biswas , s. n. , ber . bussenges .
phys . chem . *
95 * , 696 ( 1991 ) .
we are grateful to prof .
jan sengers for making these references available to us . fig .
1 equilibrium light - scattering spectrum as a function of frequency @xmath175 for a fluid whose thermophysical data correspond to those of toluene at @xmath159 @xmath160 .
the scattering wave - number is @xmath161 @xmath162 .
the dashed line represents the results for the newtonian fluid and the continuous line those of the maxwell fluid .
fig . 2 light - scattering spectrum as a function of frequency @xmath2 for a fluid whose thermophysical data correspond to those of toluene at @xmath159 @xmath160 under the action of an external temperature gradient ( @xmath169 @xmath170 and @xmath176 @xmath160 ) .
the scattering wave - number is @xmath161 @xmath162 .
the code is the same as that of fig . 1 . | arxiv |
body fat distribution assessment , especially visceral fat accumulation , is an important method to evaluate the association between obesity , cardiovascular diseases , and metabolic disorders.1 there have been various methods for body composition analysis .
computed tomography is known to be the best method for evaluating visceral fat , but it is not used routinely for the diagnostic procedures of patients .
magnetic resonance imaging is another alternative method ; however , factors such as high cost , morbid obesity , and claustrophobia in patients , or history of metal prostheses and pacemaker limit its utilization.2 bioelectric impedance analysis ( bia)is not so appropriate for a wide range of patients with cardiovascular diseases , including patients suffering from congestive heart failure ( chf ) , patients having extra body fluid , patients receiving serum therapy , and patients in post - operation condition.3 , 4 formerly , the waist - hip ratio was used to as a simple indicator of visceral fat volume , but it has been demonstrated that this ratio is unable to distinguish between subcutaneous and visceral fat volumes and is , therefore , a poor predictor of change in visceral fat volume.5 thus , there is a great need for a simple and appropriate method to estimate the amount of visceral fat in a clinical setting .
the development of sonography has offered reliable distance measurement , especially for the assessment and distribution of fat tissues.6 in a study , leite reported that intra - abdominal thickness measured by sonography could predict cardiovascular diseases.7 the purpose of this study was to evaluate the distribution of subcutaneous and visceral fat volumes measured by sonography as a determinant risk factor for cardiovascular patients and compare its results with those via body mass index ( bmi ) and bia methods .
this cross sectional study enrolled 106 patients ( 63 men and 43 women ) with coronary artery disease ( cad ) who were admitted to our hospital during a 3-month period .
the patients , who had abdominal sonography for the evaluation of gastrointestinal or genitourinary problems , were given a complete description of the study .
the study was approved by the ethics committee of the hospital , and informed written consent was obtained from all of them .
patients older than 80 years were excluded from the study since their normal anatomy was impaired by old age . additionally , extra
dehydrated ( more than 10% loss in total body water , documented by clinical and laboratory findings ) patients and those with severe edema ( more than 3 edema ) due to invalid information recorded by bia method as well as those with kidney abnormalities such as polycystic kidney , renal atrophy , or hydronephrosis were also excluded from the study .
sonographic measurements were performed in all the patients with siemens sonoline g20 with a 35 mhz by a single operator ( md ) with 8 years of experience in abdominal sonography .
the transducer was transversely positioned 1 cm above the umbilical scar on the abdominal midline , without exerting any pressure over the abdomen .
the peri - renal fat was measured with a transducer longitudinally positioned on the axillary midline , with identification of the right kidney image .
the peri - renal fat thickness was considered as the distance in millimeters between the lateral border of the kidney and the internal border of iliopsoas muscle surface adjacent to the middle third of the right kidney .
measurement errors were avoided by performing three measurements for each patient and recording the mean value .
the sonologist was blind to the measured bia and body mass index ( bmi ) indices .
for bia , all the patients stood with their feet in contact with the foot electrode and grabbed the hand electrodes , and an eight - polar tactile - electrode ( model bios pace in body 720 , seoul , korea ) was utilized to carry out the measurements .
the fat percent and fat mass , which were measured with the device , were recorded , and so were height and body weight to the nearest 0.1 cm and to the nearest 0.1 kg of the patients .
bmi was calculated as weight divided by height squared ( kg / m ) ( normal range : 18.5 to 24.9 kg / m ) .
all the statistical analyses were performed utilizing spss software ( version 13.0 ; spss , inc . ,
the pearson correlation coefficient and linear regression tests were used to assess the simple relation between the variables .
this study recruited 106 patients , comprising 43 ( 41% ) women and 63 ( 59% ) men , with a mean age of 58.81.1 years .
the mean values of fat percent and fat mass obtained by the electric - method were 31.070.81% and 22.120.68 kg , respectively .
the respective mean values of subcutaneous and visceral fat obtained by the sonography method were 20.500.56 mm and 24.140.58 mm .
the pearson correlation coefficients between bmi and the other variables in terms of age are shown in table 1 .
a comparison of the correlations between the electrical and sonographic variables and bmi calculation demonstrated a significant relation between subcutaneous fat thickness ( mm ) and bmi and between fat mass volume ( kg ) and bmi ( kg / m ) .
it was also shown that a measurement of subcutaneous fat and fat mass to predict bmi for the estimation of body fat volume resulted in almost similar values .
the most significant correlation was between subcutaneous fat ( by sonography ) and bmi ( r = 0.848 , p value < 0.0001 ) , and between fat mass ( bia ) and bmi ( r = 0.834 , p value < 0.0001 ) .
generally , correlations between different variables did not differ significantly in both genders , which means that sonographic prediction was valid in both sexes to almost the same extent .
utilization of non - invasive and less expensive methods may facilitate the detection of high - risk patients and allow earlier interventions .
estimation of body composition and body fat distribution by a method other than bmi calculation can be a great help for the detection of cardiovascular diseases . among techniques for the assessment of fat tissue distribution
our results support the idea that this method is as useful as ultrasonography for identifying visceral fat .
such findings are in agreement with those of some previous studies.810 similar to any other method , bia has some advantages and limitations : being inexpensive and non - invasive are some of its strong points , this method is highly sensitive and can easily be affected by changes in total body water and altered body temperature
. moreover , its sensitivity for the placement of electrodes ( e.g. , tall patients ) limits its accuracy and utilization.3 , 4 some other simple methods , like waist - hip ratio were not accurate enough to differ subcutaneous from visceral fat and therefore , a poor predictor of change in visceral fat volume.5 ultrasonography has been proven to be a practical , effective , and low - cost method to measure body fat and its distribution.6 , 7 however , ultrasonography accuracy is operator - dependent and needs a thorough knowledge of anatomic landmarks and a proper scanning technique .
our results suggest that both bioelectrical impedance and ultrasonography are useful for predicting the visceral and percutaneous fat volume . in conclusion ,
the accuracy and simplicity are factors that make ultrasonography one of the safest ( albeit not the most perfect ) methods in clinical practice for the measurement of body fat volume . | pubmed |
Anne Sudworth is a British artist known for her paintings of magical trees and haunting moonlit landscapes.
Career
Exhibitions
In 2001 there was an exhibition of her work in Cork Street, London at the Gallery 27. In 2002 she won a Chesley award for her painting The Snow Tree. In 2004 there was an exhibition of her work in London at the A&D Gallery. Also in 2004 she was a featured artist guest and art show judge at DragonCon in Atlanta. In 2006 there was an exhibition of her pastels and charcoals at Cannizaro House in London. In May 2007 there was an exhibition of her work in London at the Square One Gallery. In Spring 2008 she was invited to exhibit at the Strawberry Hill House in London, home of Horace Walpole, who wrote the first Gothic novel Castle of Otranto. In 2009 she exhibited at the Mall galleries, London and had a solo show at The Grey Chapel Art Gallery, Glastonbury. In 2010 her Tiny Dreams exhibition was held in Lancashire. In 2011 she was approached by English Heritage who now stock prints and cards of her work. In October 2012 there was an exhibition of her work at the SW1 Gallery in Mayfair, her ninth solo London show. She has also exhibited at a number of art fairs including the Art on Paper Fair, London.
Cover art and books
Sudworth has produced a small number of covers for Storm Constantine and Gwyneth Jones, as well as a number of other authors and musicians, including Oliver Wakeman. She is a figure on the Goth scene and has appeared in a number of books on both art and goths including Mick Mercer's Goth Rock Books.
In 2000, the publisher Paper Tiger published a book on Sudworth's work called Enchanted World: The Art of Anne Sudworth.
In March 2007 a new book on her work was published by AAPPL, called Gothic Fantasies: The Paintings of Anne Sudworth.
Notes
External links
Official Anne Sudworth website
The Anne Sudworth Studio Art Gallery
Anne Sudworth at Square One Gallery
Eternal Idol - Stonehenge by Moonlight
Article on Anne Sudworth's work - Artists and Illustrators Magazine
Category:Living people
Category:20th-century English painters
Category:21st-century English painters
Category:British speculative fiction artists
Category:Year of birth missing living people | wikipedia |
in 2010 , 202,053 cases of cancer were diagnosed , there were 72,046 deaths due to cancer , and one out of four patients died of cancer in korea .
even with the development of early screening and diagnosis technology , more than half of cancer patients are diagnosed in advanced stages when curative surgical resection may not be feasible , and additional chemotherapy is often required .
furthermore , cancer therapeutics have advanced beyond simply killing or inhibiting cancer cell growth by cytotoxic anticancer drugs , to targeting intracellular or intercellular cancer - specific signaling pathways , so called targeted agents , according to molecular genotype .
the anticancer drug market reached 62 billion dollars worldwide in 2012 and is rapidly increasing every year . in this era of evidence - based medicine ,
clinical trials are essential for the establishment of standardized treatments or treatment guidelines for cancer therapy . in the united states ,
clinical trial cooperative groups for multicenter trials such as the cancer and leukemia group ( calgb ) were launched in 1956 and are mainly supported by the national cancer institute or industry .
large investigator - initiated clinical trials ( iits ) led by these cooperative groups led to rapid improvement in cancer treatment over the last several decades . in korea , the anticancer market reached 3 trillion korean won in 2010 , but most drugs were products of multi - national pharmaceutical companies and only a few domestic pharmaceutical companies in korea are involved in the early developmental stages of new anticancer drugs . during the last few decades , korean investigators have been participating in multi - national clinical trials led by multi - national pharmaceutical companies , due to relatively low expenses and excellent human resources .
the number of korea food and drug administration ( kfda ) registered investigational new drug clinical studies numbered only 45 cases in 2001 , but increased to over 670 cases in 2012 .
in addition , the korea national enterprise for clinical trials was established in 2007 and was assigned to 15 regional clinical trial centers .
the main goal was to expand the clinical trial infrastructure for new drug development through collaboration with government , academic societies , and industry .
however , national support for iit remains significantly lower than in other countries including the united states , europe , and japan . to improve public health through collaborative cancer studies ,
several cooperative clinical trial groups including the korea cancer study group ( kcsg ) , korean radiation oncology group ( krog ) , and korean gynecology oncology group ( kgog ) were established and are actively involved in iit .
the status of sponsor - initiated cancer and investigatorinitiated cancer clinical studies was evaluated using a questionnaire in cooperation with oncology study groups such as the kcsg , kgog , and krog .
this questionnaire consisted of sponsor source , researcher behavior , single institute vs. multi - institute study , study purpose , phase of clinical trial , intervention model and method , masking , allocation , enrollment target number , direction and timing , type of intervention , difficulties of cancer clinical trials , and clinical trial resources .
investigators were surveyed nationwide in detail from 56 academic hospitals in korea on matters regarding cancer clinical trials in korea .
questions were asked through an on - line survey using a cross - sectional study design in august 2013 .
we analyzed the characteristics of the clinical trials approved by the kfda between 2007 and 2013 and evaluated the clinical trials approved by the kfda between 2012 and 2013 using the on - line questionnaire items listed above .
the number of total and cancer clinical trials approved by the kfda increased from 2007 to 2013 . during that period , the number of cancer clinical trials approved by the kfda increased by almost 100% .
the number of sponsor - initiated clinical trials ( sits ) increased by 50% and iits increased by almost 640% between 2007 and 2013 .
1 shows the annual number of total and cancer clinical trials approved by the kfda . in 2012 , 679 clinical trials were approved by the kfda and 27.5% of trials ( 187/679 ) were cancer clinical trials .
one hundred and twenty - one trials were sits and 66 were iits . in 2013 , 157 cancer clinical trials were approved out of a total 607 clinical trials , including 105 sits numbered and 52 iits .
the characteristics of clinical trials approved by the kfda between 2012 and 2013 are in table 1 .
the types of cancers investigated by sits , in order of increasing number , were lung , breast , lymphoma , hematology , hepatobiliary - pancreas , and stomach ( fig .
in contrast , the types of cancers investigated by iits , in order of increasing number , were lung , lymphoma , breast , stomach , hepatobiliary - pancreas gynecological , and genitourinary tract ( fig .
questionnaires were obtained from the oncology departments of 56 hospitals , the obstetrics and gynecology departments of five hospitals , the surgery departments of three hospitals , and the radiation oncology department of one hospital .
multicenter clinical trials were counted multiple times because we could not avoid an overlapping count of multicenter trials from individual hospitals . in the 56 hospitals , 646 sits and 519 iits were ongoing , including both interventional and observational studies . the number of hospitals according to the number of clinical trials is shown in fig .
one hundred and fifty - nine trials ( 18.4% ) among 866 were multidisciplinary clinical trials .
sixty - six investigators ( 36.7% ) complained of difficulties with human resource management and 56 ( 31% ) complained of difficulties with fund - raising for clinical trials .
thirty - two investigators ( 17.8% ) experienced difficulties in collaborating with other hospital departments and 15 ( 8.3% ) complained of the difficulties in communication with the institutional review board ( irb ) .
other problems included the complexity and tediousness of administrative procedures . among 56 surveyed hospitals , 45 hospitals had a clinical research center .
only 18 hospitals employed clinical research coordinators ( crcs ) under the name of the institution , so in the remaining institutions , individual investigators hired their own crcs .
thirty - six hospitals had 1 - 3 crcs , six hospitals had 4 - 6 , and six hospitals had more than 6 crcs .
twenty - two 22 hospitals held regular meetings of irbs once a month , 21 hospitals held meetings twice a month , and 13 hospitals held meetings more than twice a month .
thirteen hospitals did not have irb internal audits , 24 hospitals had one , and 19 hospitals had two or more . among 56 hospitals , five hospitals had an independent data manager in their clinical trial center , and 31 hospitals had a separate facility for sample storage for clinical trials .
domestic multicenter clinical trial organizations such as the kcsg , krog , and kgog actively conduct clinical trials . in 2013 , there were 27 multicenter clinical trials conducted by the kcsg , 11 by the krog , and 17 by the kgog .
the number of total and cancer clinical trials approved by the kfda increased from 2007 to 2013 . during that period , the number of cancer clinical trials approved by the kfda increased by almost 100% .
the number of sponsor - initiated clinical trials ( sits ) increased by 50% and iits increased by almost 640% between 2007 and 2013 .
1 shows the annual number of total and cancer clinical trials approved by the kfda . in 2012 , 679 clinical trials were approved by the kfda and 27.5% of trials ( 187/679 ) were cancer clinical trials .
one hundred and twenty - one trials were sits and 66 were iits . in 2013 , 157 cancer clinical trials were approved out of a total 607 clinical trials , including 105 sits numbered and 52 iits .
the characteristics of clinical trials approved by the kfda between 2012 and 2013 are in table 1 .
the types of cancers investigated by sits , in order of increasing number , were lung , breast , lymphoma , hematology , hepatobiliary - pancreas , and stomach ( fig .
in contrast , the types of cancers investigated by iits , in order of increasing number , were lung , lymphoma , breast , stomach , hepatobiliary - pancreas gynecological , and genitourinary tract ( fig .
questionnaires were obtained from the oncology departments of 56 hospitals , the obstetrics and gynecology departments of five hospitals , the surgery departments of three hospitals , and the radiation oncology department of one hospital .
multicenter clinical trials were counted multiple times because we could not avoid an overlapping count of multicenter trials from individual hospitals . in the 56 hospitals , 646 sits and 519 iits were ongoing , including both interventional and observational studies . the number of hospitals according to the number of clinical trials is shown in fig .
one hundred and fifty - nine trials ( 18.4% ) among 866 were multidisciplinary clinical trials .
sixty - six investigators ( 36.7% ) complained of difficulties with human resource management and 56 ( 31% ) complained of difficulties with fund - raising for clinical trials .
thirty - two investigators ( 17.8% ) experienced difficulties in collaborating with other hospital departments and 15 ( 8.3% ) complained of the difficulties in communication with the institutional review board ( irb ) .
only 18 hospitals employed clinical research coordinators ( crcs ) under the name of the institution , so in the remaining institutions , individual investigators hired their own crcs .
thirty - six hospitals had 1 - 3 crcs , six hospitals had 4 - 6 , and six hospitals had more than 6 crcs .
twenty - two 22 hospitals held regular meetings of irbs once a month , 21 hospitals held meetings twice a month , and 13 hospitals held meetings more than twice a month .
thirteen hospitals did not have irb internal audits , 24 hospitals had one , and 19 hospitals had two or more . among 56 hospitals , five hospitals had an independent data manager in their clinical trial center , and 31 hospitals had a separate facility for sample storage for clinical trials .
domestic multicenter clinical trial organizations such as the kcsg , krog , and kgog actively conduct clinical trials . in 2013 , there were 27 multicenter clinical trials conducted by the kcsg , 11 by the krog , and 17 by the kgog .
cancer clinical trials are vital to determining treatment guidelines for cancer patients , to evaluate the safety and efficacy of new treatments , and to establish new evidence .
to conduct clinical trials in the united states , 10 clinical trial cooperation groups comprised of more than 3,100 institutions were launched and supported by the national cancer institute .
these 10 clinical trial groups include the cancer and leukemia group , children s oncology group , eastern cooperative oncology group , north central cancer treatment group , southwest oncology group , american college of surgeons oncology group , american college of radiology imaging network , gynecologic oncology group , national surgical adjuvant breast and bowel project , and radiation therapy oncology group . both medium - sized phase 2 clinical trials and large - scale phase 3 clinical trials are being conducted and 25,000 patients per year participate in clinical trials .
these clinical trials could result in important outcomes that could change clinical practice directly related to patient treatment guidelines .
conversely , single - center studies or iits are small - scale designs such as nonrandomized phase ii studies that usually do not result in changes in clinical practice .
the number of cancer clinical trials approved by the kfda increased almost twofold from 2007 to 2013 .
the rapid growth of iits is mostly attributed to increased interest in clinical trials by motivated korean investigators and by the efforts of multicenter clinical trial organizations such as the kcsg , krog , and kgog .
both sits and iit are actively involved in studies of lung , breast , lymphoma , stomach , and hepatobiliary - pancreatic cancer .
3 shows that several large volume hospitals are conducting more than 50 clinical trials each .
most investigators complained of difficulties with human resource management and obtaining financial support for clinical trials due to unequal distribution of clinical trials .
thus , multicenter clinical trial groups such as the kcsg and governments should support individual investigators , especially small volume hospitals actively participating in clinical trials , to establish the infrastructure for clinical trials .
fifty - six hospitals were conducting 646 sits and 519 iits at the time of the on - line survey .
sits are usually supported by pharmaceutical companies , and contact research organizations also conduct a large proportion of cancer clinical trials . in contrast , some iits have difficulty with standard operating procedures for clinical trials because of limited human resources and are not supported by pharmaceutical companies or government , quite different from the situation in western countries where there is government support . for these reasons ,
relatively small - sized single - center clinical trials are common , leading to low academic value and the high possibility of error .
in addition , most clinical trials are phase 2 and 3 clinical trials , but the number of phase 1 clinical trials is very low due to their high cost and complexity . from a public health standpoint ,
although many sits lead to changes in standard clinical practices , pharmaceutical companies have less interest in improving standard treatments related to conventional cancer diagnosis , treatment , and prevention , or reducing economic loss due to unnecessary treatments .
conversely , investigator - initiated multicenter cancer clinical trials are more concerned with a scientific approach such as clinical trials , which can improve or change clinical practice or reduce national medical costs .
questionnaires have inherent inaccuracy and in our case , an unavoidable overlapping count of multicenter trials from individual hospitals .
therefore we also examined status of cancer clinical trials though the evaluation of the clinical trials approved form the kfda for overcoming these limitations . in many countries , the standard treatment costs for iits
, a consensus on supporting costs for standard of care in iits has not been reached in korea .
additionally , most iits in korea require approval from the kfda , but investigators and institutions are responsible for conducting clinical trials from start to finish .
this process of approval entails expense and time that is borne by the investigators . in korea , multicenter clinical trial groups such as the kcsg , krog , and kgog conduct a variety of clinical trials .
for example , phase 3 clinical trials of gefitinib versus pemetrexed as second - line treatments in non - small cell lung cancer and maintenance chemotherapy versus observation after achieving disease control with six cycles of gemcitabine plus paclitaxel in breast cancer were supported by the kcsg .
therefore , it is clear that these types of multicenter clinical trial organizations are desirable and encourage the development and activation of iits .
moreover , support is urgently needed from the relevant governments , study groups , and organizations for the promotion of multicenter iits .
furthermore , to improve the quality of multicenter clinical trials , support is needed for the establishment of infrastructure such as data management , statistics , and data monitoring . long - term supported projects such as the cancer overcome project
run by the national cancer center in korea , will ultimately contribute to public health improvement by providing new evidence for the improvement of treatment outcomes and the establishment of cancer treatment guidelines .
the number of cancer clinical trials in korea rapidly increased from 2007 to 2013 , as has the number of multicenter clinical trials and iits run by cooperative study groups . for more development and more activation of iits , active support | pubmed |
Haze machines, or haze generators commonly referred to as hazers, are effects machines similar to fog machines, designed to produce an unobtrusive, homogeneous clouds suspended in the air intended primarily to make light beams visible or create a subtle diffusion.
Properties
Unlike theatrical fog, which is typically intended to be dense and/or opaque, haze is generally very light and subtle. These properties allow a venue to be filled with haze prior to or during an event without creating an overtly distracting cloud. Haze typically has a substantially longer persistence hang time than conventional theatrical fog. While conventional fog will hang in the air for several minutes, a haze effect filling the same volume of space can last upwards of an hour to several hours or more, depending on the size of the venue and the amount of ventilation.
The fluid used in haze machines to generate the effects are either oil or water-based. Most oil-based haze fluids use a mineral oil base, while water-based fluids use either a propylene glycol or glycerol base. Although both formulations of fluid are referred to as haze fluid, the different formulations are neither compatible nor interchangeable. Propylene glycol/water haze fluid is sometimes referred to as water based haze to avoid ambiguity. Describing the fluid as glycol might cause stagehands to use automotive antifreeze, which contains ethylene glycol, and unlike propylene glycol, must not be used for this purpose because of its toxicity.
Technology
Crackers
Crackers also known as oil crackers were first developed in the 1960s. The fluid is usually, though not always, refined mineral oil. Crackers work by use of a spray pump powered either by electricity or compressed CO2 passing through a dispersion head into a fluid reservoir. The compressed air aerosols the fluid, dispersing fine droplets. Because the haze is mechanically generated, this type of machine does not require any warm up time.
Pump spray
Pump spray haze machines use electricity or compressed CO2 to power a spray pump connected to a mixing valve, which draws in and atomizes the fluid.
Pump hazers also includes machines which function in the same manner as a fog machine, pumping fluid into a heated chamber where it is vapourized to produce a cloud. Hazers which heat fluid to create an atmospheric effect only use mixtures of water and glycol or glycerine. Spray hazers which atomize fluid can use either a water-based or mineral oil fluid.
Aerosol
Smaller volumes of haze can also be generated from aerosol canisters containing mineral oil under pressure. Although to the density of haze generated and the volume of space that can be filled is significantly smaller than that of a haze machine, aerosol canisters have the advantages of portability, no requirements for electricity and finer control over the volume of haze generated.
Ultrasonic
Ultrasonic haze machines use transducers submerged in a reservoir of fluid to create atmospheric effects. Although less common than some of the other technologies used to produce haze, ultrasonic hazers are promoted as generating their effects with much less noise than other technologies.
Faze machines
Faze machines, or fazers, can also be used to produce a haze-like effect. These machines are typically fog machines with a fan built in front to disperse the output, creating a haze-like effect. These machines are typically considered more cost effective, with prices ranging from $100$400 USD as compared to haze machines with prices ranging from $400$1,400 USD.
Fire detection
Although the atmospheric effect created by hazers produces a significantly smaller particle size, around one micrometre um, compared to the effect generated by a fog machine hence the finer composition of the cloud, the size of particle and effect varies by manufactures and type of fluid used. Because of this haze is far less likely to set off fire alarms than fog machines or larger smoke particles.
See also
Theatrical smoke and fog
Fog machine
References
Entertainment Services & Technology Association 2005. Introduction to Modern Atmospheric Effects, 4th Edition., The ESTA Foundation.
Learn Stage Lighting 2013. Hazers - Oil or Water Based?, LearnStageLighting.com Oil Or Water Based
Category:Stagecraft
Category:Special effects | wikipedia |
Season for Sharing: Valle del Sol program helps kids' confidence bloom
Since 1970, the nonprofit has assisted children, families and the elderly through counseling, support services and leadership-development programs.
Season for Sharing: Valle del Sol program helps kids' confidence bloom Since 1970, the nonprofit has assisted children, families and the elderly through counseling, support services and leadership-development programs. Check out this story on azcentral.com: https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/phoenix/2019/01/08/season-sharing-valle-del-sol-program-helps-kids-confidence-bloom/2468079002/
Elizabeth Montgomery, Arizona Republic Published 6:00 a.m. MT Jan. 8, 2019
Valle del Sol's 2017 Hispanic Leadership Institute class visits the Arizona Capitol.(Photo: Courtesy of Angela Florez)
This is one in a series of profiles of Arizona nonprofit service organizations that have received funding from The Arizona Republic and azcentral.com's Season for Sharing fundraising campaign. To donate to this year's campaign and help Arizonans in need, go to sharing.azcentral.com.
Since 1970, Valle del Sol has helped thousands of men, women and children receive counseling, substance-abuse treatment, support services and leadership development.
The nonprofit's mission is to invest in the health of and human services for Latino people in the Valley and to strengthen families with the tools and skills to be self-sufficient.
"Valle del Sol was founded to fill a gap in behavioral health and social services available to the Latino community and underserved populations with nowhere else to turn," Chief Development Officer Angela Florez said.
"While Valle del Sol serves all communities, providing services that are culturally appropriate remains essential."
Services include a family-practice medical clinic, pediatric clinic, case management, behavior coaching, art therapy, youth leadership programs, parenting classes and a youth behavioral-skills camp.
QUESTION: How was the program developed?
ANSWER: Our School Based Youth Services program was designed in 2016 and launched in two school districts to work with educators in limiting classroom disruptions due to behavioral challenges. In 2018, Season for Sharing generously awarded Valle del Sol support to work with students in schools that needed therapeutic support.
What we learned was that many of these children were being referred for disciplinary issues that, with group therapeutic, behavioral and individual support, would no longer need to be referred to school discipline.
Where Season for Sharing made the largest impact is that we were able to deliver a behavioral-skills camp to these youths, ensuring that the "summer brain drain" that can occur with educational skills didn't also apply to behavioral skills.
This allowed students to practice those skills in group settings Monday through Thursday. Each Friday, students went on field trips where real-life triggers could create challenging situations, let students gain confidence in deploying skills related to regulating mood and attention-deficit disorder behaviors, and conquer shyness and feelings of inadequacy in group surroundings.
Q: How many individuals does your nonprofit help each year?
A: Our youth behavioral-skills camps help over 500 youths annually.
Q: How do you gauge your success?
A: We gauge success based on how many youths move toward less frequent disciplinary action during school and how many days in the classroom are added.
Q: How many employees do you have?
A: We have approximately 225 employees. The youth program has 12 full-time staff members, with more joining during summer programming.
Q: What is your greatest need?
A: Our greatest need is donations to support families in need. Everything from apartment kits to hygiene kits would be the things we could deploy for use today.
Q: How did you spend your Season for Sharing grant?
A: Our last Season for Sharing grant was in support of our School Based Youth Services program. We were able to provide summer behavioral-skills camp to over 500 individuals. We are beyond grateful for the continued support of Season for Sharing donors. It makes a world of difference.
How to donate to Season for Sharing
There are five ways to donate:
Fill out the online form at sharing.azcentral.com.
Use the coupon on 4A of The Arizona Republic and mail donations to P.O. Box 29250, Phoenix, AZ 85038-9250.
Text "sharing" to 91-999 and click on the link in the text message.
Click on the "donate" button at facebook.com/seasonforsharing.
Shop at Dig It Gardens, 3015 N. 16th St., Phoenix. They will donate 2 percent of sales each weekend during the campaign. digphx.com.
Who is helped
Last year, 153 agencies received $2.2 million. Since 1993, more than $64 million has been distributed.
It all stays in Arizona. One hundred percent of your donations and the matching funds go directly to nonprofit agencies in the state. All overhead and fundraising costs are paid by The Arizona Republic/azcentral.com.
How your dollars help
The Gannett Foundation and the Nina Mason Pulliam Charitable Trust will multiply your donation by matching your gift 50 cents on the dollar up to $600,000.
READ MORE ABOUT SEASON FOR SHARING:
Answers to your most common questions about Season for Sharing
Buy a new book of Clay Thompson's columns to support Season for Sharing
Season for Sharing celebrates 25 years of giving
How Season for Sharing began
FOLLOW AZCENTRAL'S THINGS TO DO
Read or Share this story: https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/phoenix/2019/01/08/season-sharing-valle-del-sol-program-helps-kids-confidence-bloom/2468079002/
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salivary duct carcinoma ( sdc ) is a relatively uncommon salivary gland tumor , with a high stage on diagnosis and a high rate of metastasis over the course of the disease .
multiple sites of metastasis have been reported , including lung , liver , bone and rarely gingiva , eye , vagina and even distant inguinal lymph nodes .
while multiple other salivary gland tumors have been reported in pleural fluid , our review of the literature found no prior reference to sdc metastasis . in this article , we describe a patient with extensively metastatic salivary duct carcinoma presenting with a pleural effusion , providing a previously unreported finding of sdc in the pleural fluid .
the present case report is about a 76-year - old male patient , with a 9-year history of sdc metastatic to the right testicle and brain , who presented at our institution for cryoablation of suspicious lung nodules and subsequently had a recurrent left pleural effusion .
he was originally diagnosed at age 67 with a 1.5 cm right submandibular sdc , which showed large polygonal epithelioid cells with prominent nucleoli and abundant granular eosinophilic cytoplasm , arranged in a cribriform pattern with central necrosis [ figure 1 ] .
immunohistochemical stains showed positivity for human epidermal growth factor receptor-2/neu ( her2/neu ) and gross cystic disease fluid protein-15 ( gcdfp-15 ) and negativity for estrogen receptor ( er ) and progesterone receptor ( pr ) .
the patient was treated with local radiation and chemotherapy . at 4 years later , pulmonary micronodules were noted on positron emission tomography and computed tomography ( ct ) scan , as well as a recurrence in his right testis .
the histologic section of the parotid gland tumor shows a malignant proliferation of a duct , resembling ductal carcinoma in situ of the breast .
the cells have prominent nucleoli with apocrine type cytoplasm ( h and e , 10 obj ) at the time of current admission , the patient was receiving radiation therapy , but not systemic therapy .
the most recent chest ct angiogram showed bilateral pulmonary metastases up to 5.4 cm , pleural implants and a nodular rind of metastatic disease along the left mediastinal reflection .
following cryoablation of the three largest nodules , ultrasound - guided thoracentesis of a left pleural effusion yielded 350 cc of bloody , opaque fluid .
cytological evaluation of cytospin preparations and cell block revealed large , pleomorphic epithelioid cells in small clusters with subtle cribriform features [ figure 2 ] .
the smear shows a single cluster of epithelioid cells with prominent nucleoli and apocrine cytoplasm ( papanicolaou stain , 40 obj ) .
the inset is a photomicrograph of the cell block showing a cluster of malignant epithelioid cells making a lumen ( h and e , 60 obj ) immunohistochemical stains [ figure 3 ] performed on the cell block were positive for androgen receptor ( ar ) ( panel a ) , her2/neu ( panel b ) , moc31 ( panel c ) and gcdfp-15 ( panel d ) .
the malignant cells were not present on deeper cuts for evaluation of mammaglobin and b72.3 .
the morphologic and immunohistochemical profile was similar to the original submandibular pathology and a diagnosis of metastatic sdc was rendered .
panel a is a photomicrograph of androgen receptor showing positive nuclear staining of the malignant cells .
panel b shows human epidermal growth factor receptor-2/neu staining cell membrane of the malignant cells .
panel d shows cytoplasmic staining of this cluster with gross cystic disease fluid protein-15 ( 60 obj )
malignancy is a common cause of pleural effusion , accounting for 9 - 44% of cases .
the likelihood of pleural involvement varies according to tumor type , with adenocarcinomas comprising two - thirds of all malignant effusions . among men ,
lung cancer is the most frequent etiology , followed by lymphoproliferative lesions and gastrointestinal tract malignancies .
breast , lung and lymphoid neoplasms make up the majority of malignant pleural effusions in women .
occasional case reports exist of adenoid cystic carcinoma metastasizing to the pleural fluid , as well as a rare case of benign metastasizing pleomorphic adenoma and a case of mucoepidermoid carcinoma involving peritoneal and pericardial fluid
. however , this appears to be the first case report of metastatic sdc in pleural fluid .
it is more common in men ( 8:1 , male : female ) between the ages of 60 - 80 , though an age range of 22 - 91 has been reported .
most arise in the parotid gland ( 72 - 88% ) , but submandibular , sublingual , minor salivary gland , maxillary and laryngeal primaries have all been described .
the clinical presentation usually involves rapid growth of a painful mass with possible facial paralysis secondary to perineural invasion .
lymph node involvement in 56 - 60% of patients at initial presentation and distant metastases occur in 46% of patients .
the lung is a frequent site of metastatic disease , although lesions in liver , bone , thyroid , skin , vagina , brain and eye have also been described . the 10-year mortality rate due to the tumor is 36 - 65% respectively .
the cytologic characteristics of sdc on a fine - needle aspiration ( fna ) specimen have been well - described , though the ability to adequately make the primary diagnosis on fna alone is challenging .
hypercellular smears are often seen , with broad flat sheets , tightly - cohesive three - dimensional clusters , papillary fragments and rarely distinctive cribriform configurations . in general
the cells are large and polygonal with eccentric round to oval nuclei , coarse chromatin , prominent nucleoli and mild to moderate nuclear atypia . a moderate to an abundant amount of vacuolated or oncocytic
some cases describe abundant mitoses , intranuclear cytoplasmic inclusions , squamoid cells and a background of necrosis .
the histologic similarity of sdc and ductal carcinoma of the mammary gland has been noted since the initial description in 1968 by kleinsasser et al .
cell blocks may show variable - sized nodules of epithelioid cells , arranged in a cribriform pattern with central comedonecrosis .
solid , cystic or papillary architecture may also be seen . rarely , spindle cell or sarcomatoid growth patterns , mucin - rich variants , squamous metaplasia , or micropapillary features can be observed .
the tumor can present in a background of a pleomorphic adenoma in approximately 20% of cases .
the differential diagnosis on fna can include high grade mucoepidermoid carcinoma or acinic cell carcinoma , as well as oncocytic neoplasms .
metastatic breast carcinoma should always be ruled out , as the two entities are so alike .
other metastatic adenocarcinomas or squamous cell carcinoma may also be considered , if the lesion is poorly differentiated or lacks the characteristic cribriform pattern .
sdc tends to stain positive for epithelial markers ( berep4 , moc31 , low and high molecular weight cytokeratins ) and negative for mucicarmine .
these results should prompt closer assessment of the specimen and clinical history to elicit the location of a primary malignancy .
her2/neu is positive in most sdc 's ( 47 - 67% of cases ) , with overexpression in approximately 20% of patients .
other predominately positive stains include ar , prostate specific antigen , prostatic acid phosphatase , gcdfp-15 , p53 and p16 .
negative stains include myoepithelial markers and er and pr , which aids in distinguishing it from breast carcinoma .
given the propensity of sdc to metastasize to the lung , the paucity of case reports describing pleural fluid involvement is unexpected .
considerations for the rarity of this finding may include the aggressive nature of the disease , a low clinical yield of performing thoracentesis , or possibly a strong cohesive nature of the malignant cells . a similar behavioral pattern can be seen in other tumors such as squamous cell carcinoma or other salivary gland tumors , which may involve lung parenchyma but not the pleura .
the cohesive nature of these cells may discourage metastases to body fluids , when compared to the often discohesive appearance of lobular breast carcinoma , adenocarcinomas and lymphoproliferative lesions .
elements of this case which contributed to the diagnostic material stem from the patient 's length of disease and the significant lung involvement seen on imaging , as well as the recent disruption of lung parenchyma by cryoablation .
our case illustrates an unusual spread of sdc into the pleural fluid and highlights the challenges in rendering a diagnosis of metastatic sdc on a cytology specimen .
all authors of this article declare that we qualify for authorship as defined by icmje http://www.icmje.org/#author .
each author has participated sufficiently in the work and takes public responsibility for appropriate portions of the content of this article .
jh , pathology resident , collected all the data , participated in cytological evaluation and drafted the manuscript .
nam performed conceptual organization , cytological - histological evaluation , drafted and reviewed the manuscript .
as this is a case report without patient identifiers , approval from the institutional review board ( irb ) is not required at our institution .
to ensure the integrity and highest quality of cytojournal publications , the review process of this manuscript was conducted under a double blind model ( authors are blinded for reviewers and vice versa ) through automatic online system . | pubmed |
Dragon Age 1. Chapter 1
The knife slid in so easily. His healing sense flared _wrong _for a moment and he had to actively suppress the magic that wanted to flow into the open wound in his lover's chest. It was too late, any way. He had pierced Karl's heart.
But it wasn't as though he were killing Karl really. No, Karl was already dead. The brief moment where he had been himself had passed, making Anders keen internally. If he could somehow keep Justice out at will, _be _Justice without the blood and death, maybe he could have kept Karl with them, the _real _Karl, not the empty body that fell at his feet in a pool of blood.
"We should go before more Templars come," he heard himself say. The woman - Saoirse he remembered, her name was Saoirse - didn't say anything and he didn't stop to see if she followed, just walked away. _I would rather die than be made tranquil, _she had said. _Help him, Anders._
It didn't feel like helping.
When he reached the clinic he was shocked to turn and find she was still there, along with the dwarf and the elf and her brother. He'd forgotten, of course, that he'd agreed to help them.
So had she, it seemed, for the moment.
"So, is this the part where you tell me you're an abomination?"
_I just killed someone I loved, _he felt like saying. _Do you really want to have this conversation _now? But he supposed he owed her one. At least she hadn't run away screaming as soon as Justice appeared. Most did.
Much good it did them.
"You're wrong," he said. "Though not far wrong."
He tried to explain. She looked skeptical, her brother, outright hostile (not that that was any different to how he'd looked when they'd first met), but she still didn't run away. Her eyes were clear and kind and her questions intelligent. He found himself trying to justify himself to her, even though, looking back now, he had been as stupid as a stump, really. But it had been _Justice, _who had been, when it came down to it, the only friend outside the Tower Anders had ever had, save Alim. The only friend who would never abandon him.
Couldn't abandon him, now. No matter if Anders wanted him to.
He wasn't sure, though, if he did. That first flush of horror hadn't quite faded, he still dreamt of the blood and the screaming, but not as often as he dreamt of that cold cell in Kinloch Hold and the endless months of _silence…_
He found himself offering to help her. _Maker's breath, did I just offer to go with her to the deep roads? _He missed _people. _Or maybe he just missed Karl.
When they walked out the door he turned back to his patients and his work and did his best to forget the feel of flesh parting to a blade.
When she came back a few days later asking him to help her sort out a problem she was having with a pirate named Isabela (and where had he heard that name before?) he agreed readily enough. It wasn't as though he were sleeping much these days in any case. It was fun, in its way. Like a good day with Alim and Oghren, although he was very happy to say he _didn't like _the elf with the… lyrium thing, it was unsettling at best to be that close to something that smelled like a potion but _walked _and _talked_. He found himself wondering if licking him would restore his mana.
It made him giggle to himself.
When they entered the chantry, Anders felt himself tense up, but it was more because he _thought _it should hurt, rather than actually hurting. They didn't go anywhere near where Karl had died _been killed by him _luckily, and the fight did a lot to erase the associations he had with the building. Still, he was happy to leave. He spent the walk through Hightown trying to work out where he knew the pirate from. There was something _very familiar _about the sway of her hips. Hypnotic too.
Hawke delivered him back to his clinic, after, walking with him, muttering something about making sure they didn't lose a good healer to the Templars, and he found he was grateful for the company, especially since the elf left them to slip into a _mansion. _Anders blinked as the elf bade them goodbye. Obviously he was doing something _very wrong _if an escaped slave had a nicer house than he did. Still, it wasn't as though he was doctoring nobles. Ferelden refugees trying to get to him here would undoubtably be arrested as soon as they showed their faces. And dispatching the elf now meant he had a good twenty minutes of walking with Saoirse Hawke, whom he was beginning to realise was…
…simply stunning.
He hadn't really noticed it when they'd been trying to help Karl, his mind had been on the past, but now, walking beside her, so easy and confident in her movements, with that evil glint in her eye that reminded him of Alim on a good day, when the demons and the past weren't making him violent or maudlin, and he found himself warming to her in more ways than one.
A year ago, he would have found something to say about her eyes, or the way she wore her hair, or her boots. Women liked it when you noticed their shoes. Now whenever he opened his mouth something stopped him from saying what he wanted.
No. Not something. _Justice._
So when she said something about making decisions with a true heart the part of him that used to tease Velanna about her ears shoved Justice into the background and took control of his vocal chords.
"Kind, wise _and _beautiful. You must have made a deal with some demons yourself."
Her eyes widened and he could see they weren't brown, as he thought at first, but hazel - flecked with green, and she raised an eyebrow. No blush, though, just a slight lift of the lips. He thought at first he'd just made a _complete_ arse of himself. Of course, that wouldn't have bothered him a year ago. He would have chalked it up to experience and tried a different line a few hours later. Or a drink. Drinks were good.
In the Tower, of course, he just would have asked the next girl who came along. Or the next boy. So long as they weren't wearing a tin suit, it was unlikely you'd get a worse response than "sod off".
It had taken him three or four escape attempts to realise that the outside world wasn't like that. Valuable lessons, those.
"I'm sorry," he stumbled. "It's just that… we've hardly met and I feel like I know you…" _Andraste's tits, Anders, you're making it _worse.
"Just keep calling me beautiful," she said, the lift of her lips deepening into a full smirk. "You can't go wrong with that."
"Oh, I'm sure I could get more creative," he responded, without thinking, and with the words _more creative _he thought of Karl and it was suddenly _all wrong. _He could feel the knife in his hands again, see the brand on Karl's forehead so clearly, remember the words he'd written, the promises he'd made. And with those memories, others started to surface, of blood and death and _how many more people will die because of what I've done…_
He all but pushed her out the door. He started to hope to the maker she wasn't going to ask him to go to the deep roads with her. There was little chance she wouldn't, though. She _could _heal, but she's not as good as he was (no one ever was, until Alim) and he was still a _warden _and she was too smart not to use him _and _his maps and _when _did he start wishing she'd use him for something more than his magic and his senses and _how _was he going to stop himself from plunging head first into a pit that would only drive him further towards the madness that is always just a few steps ahead?
Sleep. Sleep would be nice. Sleep without dreams would be better.
He knew that was unlikely though.
2. Respite
He woke in a strange room and he was momentarily terrified. Strange rooms meant change. Change usually meant capture. But no one was kicking him, and the sheets on his naked body were smooth and expensive.
And there was another naked body, pressed to his. _That _was nice. That was something he hadn't had the pleasure of feeling for a very, _very _long time.
Her red hair was mussed over her face, strands falling over her lips which were parted. The gentle whuff of her breath made him smile - she was _not _an elegant sleeper, but she was gloriously careless, nothing like she had been in the deep roads, wrapped in her bedroll, tense and cold and hurt.
He shook his head. Now wasn't the time to relive things he couldn't change. Images from the night before took the place of unpleasant memories and his breath quickened as he contemplated waking her, but they had not slept much truly, and she probably needed her rest.
He felt more refreshed than he had in years. He could remember no dreams and the part of him that was Justice was calm and quiet, despite the desperate internal debate he had held at the door of the mansion the night before. He was _safe. _It was a strange concept. A feeling he hadn't had since before Alim left, those few weeks at Amaranthine in his tiny bunk in the warden quarters, amidst the smoke and the ruins. But this was different - this was _better, _because _she _was here and…
Justice stirred and he sat up slowly, other images intruding and pushing good feelings away. He was here because he'd given in. He was here because he hadn't been strong enough to resist, because he'd failed in his cause. He looked down at his hands which had clenched into fists, he felt the tide of rage and shame start to wash over him and he
…._pushed it down. _
She'd said she believed he could control it. It was time to prove her right.
He slipped out of the bed and pulled on his shirt and trousers, hoping that Leandra wasn't awake yet. The slant of light from outside made him think it was probably early enough for him to chance a trip outside - the water jug was empty and he'd been at the mansion often enough to know where the kitchens were.
He blinked as he picked up the jug, remembering that Saoirse had said he could _stay… _but he wouldn't hold her to that, not now, not after one night. He'd avoid the rest of the household for now, slip out before they were awake or after they'd left for the day. He wasn't averse to using window exits - he'd done enough of that in his time and he was still limber enough to manage. Life in Kirkwall didn't let one go soft.
His stomach rumbled, and he smiled again, remembering pie. At the door he looked back to see she'd rolled over onto her stomach, one arm flung over where he had been a few moments before and his heart ached. Justice stirred again, but there was something else there, this time, an image of another woman, similarly sleeping, blond and delicate. It took him a moment to place the name - Aura. Kristoff's wife. Justice's memories from before their joining didn't surface often. Strange that Anders had echoes of that other man, dead long before Anders had met the spirit, in his own head. There was a pang of longing for something never known and long lost that made him pause for a longer moment, wondering. He was past the point of trying to hold conversations with the fade spirit, it felt far too much like insanity and he skirted to close to the edge of that as it was, but he felt strongly that the previous night's activities may have helped his old friend far more than it harmed.
_Maker make it so, _he thought.
He didn't notice the figure by the fire downstairs until he was halfway down, but when Sebastian turned and faced him Anders froze on the stairs, jug still in hand, his bare feet sinking into the rich carpets.
"Andraste's knickers," he breathed. "What are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same thing, Anders. But I fear it's painfully obvious."
"It's only just dawn, for the sake of the Maker!"
"I came to speak to Hawke."
_Did you now? _"She's asleep. How did you get in?"
"The door was open."
_Sod it, _he must have forgotten to lock it after he came in. He remembered, then, that Sebastian and Fenris had been with Saoirse when they came to the clinic the day before. Anders gripped the banister, suddenly angry.
"Sebastian are you here out of some misconceived desire to… protect Saoirse? Or are you just a colossal pervert?"
"I came here because I was concerned, yes," Sebastian had the decency to blush and look down, but Anders fury if anything increased. "Saoirse has gone through a lot, lately… I don't want her to…"
"What? Have an ounce of happiness? Live a relatively normal life? Make her own choices?"
"Make a mistake that will end up hurting her," Sebastian said evenly. "She's vulnerable after what happened to her brother. It's unworthy of you to take advantage of… of her _gratitude _to you…"
Sebastian trailed off as Anders padded down the remaining stairs so he was face to face with the man. Truly, he had little against Sebastian. He spouted Chantry dogma but he was no different, really, from the sisters or the Grand Cleric. All words. No action. _He is part of the problem. The Chantry is corrupt and complacent._
_Not to mention nosy and interfering._
He kept his voice soft, he had no desire to wake anyone else in the house. "This isn't some spur of the moment thing, Sebastian," he said.
"Forgive me if I find that difficult to believe."
Anders narrowed his eyes. "If I told you I warned her against this myself, a hundred times - _more, _if I told you I would die before hurting her, or letting anyone else do the same, would it make any difference to you? Or do you believe I am incapable of restraint because of what I am?"
Sebastian's mouth hardened into a line. "If you warned her against it why are you here?"
_Because I couldn't resist any more. Because three years of torture was too much. Because when it came to a point where I could have lost myself _completely _she was the one who brought me back._
_Because I love her. _
He looked down at the jug in his hands and heaved a sigh, running his hand through his hair. "Because she's not a child, Sebastian. She needs to make her own choices. Why, if we're so happy to let her lead us around Kirkwall, shouldn't she be able to make her own decisions about her own life?"
"You could have stopped this from happening."
"I _tried."_
"Don't be absurd. You didn't try hard enough or you wouldn't be here. You could fix it, even now. You should leave."
"I should. But if _you _had the chance to see her happy, what would _you _do?"
Sebastian fingered the buckles on his ridiculous armour. "I do not like this, Anders," he said finally. "All my instincts, all my training, tell me this will end badly."
"Are you sure it's your _instincts _telling you that, Sebastian?" Anders snarled, his anger roiling dangerously close to the surface. "Would you be here if it were Fenris, not me? Would you be here if it were Isabela?" Sebastian's eyes flashed and Anders nodded. It was always the same. He was a mage. He was an abomination. He was the enemy. No matter that Hawke was the more powerful of the two of them, no matter that she could best Anders in a fight on a bad day, he was _not to be trusted._ "We're all dangerous in our own way," Anders said softly. "You too. That I know precisely the nature and manifestation of the danger _I _represent… doesn't that make it better, not worse? Believe me, I know, now more than ever, what I'm risking by being here. So does Saoirse. You weren't there, in the cavern. Justice knows _no _mercy."
"And what does _he _think of this?"
"We are _one_."
Sebastian snorted. Anders felt the blue tide well up, watched as Sebastian's eyes widened in fear.
"You think we would be here, otherwise?" the voice was still his own. "Go, Sebastian. Believe me when I say I won't harm her."
_If only I could believe myself._
The priest clenched his fists but left, too afraid, he thought, to stay any longer. No doubt there would be more from him. But perhaps he had staved off the worst of it.
When he made it back upstairs, she was still sleeping. He debated for a moment, before undressing again and slipping in next to her. She murmured as he slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her back, fitting her against him.
"Anders…" she mumbled, turning her head a little as he nuzzled her neck. All thoughts of Sebastian and his warnings fled as desire stirred in him. He let his hands wander, stroking softly the smooth curve of her hip, the expanse of her thigh. He couldn't stop the soft groan that escaped him - it was like a dam had burst, all the repressed desire he'd felt for her, all those years of celibacy _maker's breath, celibacy! Him!_
He hadn't _ever _had this luxury - to lie abed with his lover with no fear of interruption or discovery. He would revel in it, and fight to keep it for as long as he could.
She began to stir against him but he kissed her neck. "Shhh. Sleep for now," he whispered and she relaxed. For the first time for as long as he could remember, so did he.
3. Memories
_For people who are following these, I'm sorry they're not in order. I'm just plugging them out whenever they occur. I will re-order them when I've finished, I promise. In the mean time I'll let you know where they fall as I post them. This is set directly after Help - second in chronological order to all the others so far. I'm leaping about a bit, I hope it isn't too confusing._
* * *
><p>He was making poultices when she came back. He had seen her a few times, at the Hanged Man after Varric dragged him there one night, in Lowtown occasionally. She dropped off some of the ingredients he was using now for these poultices a week before, saying she'd found a source of elfroot at Sundermount and she couldn't use it all herself.<p>
It had been extremely welcome. There was only so much he could heal with his magic alone without exhausting himself and there were a few Ferelden refugees who refused magical help.
"I could never master herbalism," she said, leaning against the wall near his worktable. He smiled at her as he worked the mortar and pestle.
"One of those things they make you learn in the Tower," he said. "Handy for an apostate on the run, too. People will buy poultices from you without suspecting you're magical. I funded my third escape attempt with them. Got all the way to Lothering."
"You made it to Lothering?"
He winked at her. "Made it to Denerim, too, once."
"Really? Isabela said she spent a lot of time in Denerim. Maybe you _do _know each other."
"Maybe we do," Anders carefully scraped the mashed elfroot into a pot and started gathering other ingredients. "You're by yourself today?"
She nodded. "Varric's decided that Carver needs… education. Although what sort of education I can only shudder to guess. Isabela's investigating a job for some Prince of Starkhaven bloke. But I needed to see you and… I thought you might appreciate it not being in company."
He raised an eyebrow. When people wanted to see him alone these days, it usually meant complaints of the private kind. "What have _you _been up to?" he asked.
She looked confused for a moment, before her eyes widened and she laughed. "No, nothing like that. I just… I got the impression you might not have meant it, when you offered to help me on this expedition of ours."
"Ah," he picked up the small cast iron pot and slung it over the fire, adding water slowly. He was good at herbalism, like all aspects of healing. It soothed him. A menial task to occupy his hands. Alim had always wondered at him, that he happily made potions and poultices for the wardens. His reasoning had always been that it was better, by far, than going down to the deep roads. "What gave you that impression then?"
"Oh I don't know, the way you shudder in disgust whenever they're mentioned? Or the "I hate the blighted deep roads" conversation you had with Varric the other day? Or maybe it was…"
He held up his hands in surrender. "All right, I get the picture," he said, grinning. "I don't like the deep roads, but that's hardly news. I don't know anyone who does. Not even the sodding dwarfs like them, they just say they do because they're supposed to."
"It's more than that with wardens, though, I've heard."
He cocked an eyebrow at her. "Wardens sense darkspawn," he said. "The closer we are to them, the more… urgent it is. Kirkwall's been a nice change from Amaranthine in that regard. Vigil's Keep has deep roads right underneath it. We can _always _sense the darkspawn there."
"So if you come with us…"
"Let's just say don't put your bedroll near mine at night," Anders said. "I probably won't be sleeping very well."
"Does that mean you _will _come?"
"You helped me with…" a flash of memory, a face, a brand, made him stop and blink. "You helped me…"
"Yes, but that hardly ended well, did it?" He swallowed, a lump suddenly in his throat and her face fell. "I'm sorry," she said. "I… Carver says I never think before I speak. He's wrong. Most of the time."
Anders shook his head. "No… it's all right. Just because we couldn't… save him doesn't mean I didn't appreciate your help trying." He took a shaky breath. "If I'd gone in there by myself I'd be in the Gallows by now. Or dead. Or…" _tranquil._
"I don't know. You took down a lot of those Templars on your own. We mostly did mop up."
He frowned. "Not on my own," he said. "And that's the problem."
There was a silence that would have been awkward if he didn't have things to do, adding water, smelling the mixture that was now gently bubbling over the fire.
"I didn't want to ask before… but you and Karl…"
He shut his eyes. "He was my lover, in the Ferelden circle," he said bluntly. "One of the first people I met when I was taken there."
"I'm truly sorry. I thought he must have been… more than a friend. Not many people would…do what you did for someone."
"Kill them?"
She looks shocked, then apologetic. "I was going to say, not many people would be so kind. I'd like to think there was someone out there who'd do the same for me." He looked at her, and her usual smirk was gone, her eyes troubled. "When Bethany was alive she would have… and I would have for her, but I doubt my pig headed ox of a brother would see it the way we do."
"Your sister… she was special to you?"
Hawke nodded. "It was nice, you know? To have a partner? Someone like me? She was always so much nicer. Than either of us." Her face hardened. "It should have been one of us, protecting mother. Mother certainly thinks so."
He winced. "Oh, I'm sure she…" Hawke cocked an eyebrow and he choked off his response. "You're right, I wouldn't know. But your brother…
She snorted. "He's spent the last five years whining. Ever since Father died. Grates on the ears after a while."
The elfroot mixture could be left for a while, and he motioned for her to sit on one of the cots. She patted the spot next to her and he settled down too, leaning his head back against the wall and stretching his legs out in front of him. The clinic was empty for a change - after the past week where he'd been busy non-stop it was a nice change to have some peace. "Your father was an apostate?"
She nodded. "He managed to escape the Gallows." She smiled, cocking her head on one side, eyes distant. "With the aid of a Templar, of all people," she said.
"Templars are useful if you can get them onside," he said. "They stopped assigning the nice ones to me pretty early on unfortunately."
She winced. "I heard stories about… what Templars do to mages in the Tower. My father was terrified Bethany or I would be taken."
Anders shrugged. "When any one group is given power over another there are going to be abuses," he said bitterly. Her face softened and he smiled sadly, shaking his head. "By the time I got to the Ferelden Circle Greagior was Knight Commander and he was… a decent sort, for a Templar. I was lucky. But a lot of the people I knew in the Tower weren't. Karl wasn't, although I didn't find that out for a long time. I think he protected me, actually. Taught me what to look out for. Not many mages had friends as… well informed as he was."
"I'm sorry. If you don't want to talk about it…"
"It's been a long time, since the Tower. I hadn't seen Karl in years - just written to him. And then I had to…" he swallowed, finding tears were threatening. Since Justice, keeping his emotions in check had been more difficult. Things that he would normally laugh off would drive him to rage, or tears. It had taken him months to act relatively normally and thinking about Karl was undoing all of that.
Or maybe it was because she was close enough that he could feel the heat from her skin, smell the slight hint of something fresh and grassy she must have used to wash her hair. He stole a glance at her. She was looking at her boots critically, as though they'd offended her somehow. Avoiding his eyes, he guessed. Embarrassed at his emotion, no doubt. He drew in a deep breath and got up from the cot. She caught his arm as he started to move away, though and he looked back down at her to find her looking up at him with an expression on her face that sent heat flaring through him.
_Maker, Anders don't do this to yourself. _
"Hey, I wasn't going to ask, but since you're here and probably in need of distracting - I ran into a Dalish elf in the alienage who's son is being chased by the Templars. Want to help me rescue him?"
He felt a slow smile spread across his face. "You really know how to cheer a man up, don't you?"
The grin that spread across her face was positively _dirty. _"I know a few tricks," she said, using his arm as leverage to stand. He steadied her when she wobbled a bit on the way up, regretful that she was wearing her leather gloves, desperately wanting to feel the smoothness of her skin against his own.
He let go as quickly as he could. "Point the way," he said.
"Last information led to just around here, actually. Fenris and Varric are going to meet me here in a few minutes."
"Fenris?"
"You don't like him, do you?"
Anders fiddled with a buckle on his coat, then shrugged. "No. Do you?"
She waggled an eyebrow. "There's plenty about him to like," she said. He flushed. "Oh, come on, you can't tell me you haven't thought the same."
He snorted with laughter. "Funnily enough, _no. _I have some standards. Unlike some of the company you keep."
"Oh, Isabela agrees with me on this score." She shrugged. "But that's beside the point. He owes me, and he's good in a fight. That's enough for me. He's better company than Carver most of the time too. At least he doesn't talk much. Any way, the information we have says the boy's probably in the hands of slavers, I would have had to tie him down to stop him from coming."
"Oh well, who you want in a fight is your business, not mine."
She frowned at him. "It's your business too, if you're going to be fighting with us," she said.
Anders didn't want to go into it, why the lyrium in the elf's skin made parts of him yearn, _it sings! _why the man's hatred of mages had him constantly struggling to control the spirit within. Just being near Fenris was a trial.
But she would be there. That was worth… pretty much anything. "I'll be fine," he said. "Let's go."
4. Power
She was in the hanged man when Varric found her. Anders had poultices and patients to attend to - he didn't need to any more, but he was still driven to help the people in Darktown, and she had spent an exhausting afternoon with Aveline trying to sort out the clash of conflict mess the damned Templars were causing with the guard. She needed a drink. Isabela and Fenris were flirting with each other shamelessly and she was prepared for a long evening of laughter, but the first sip of ale was interrupted by Varric grabbing her arm. "Hawke, I've gotten word of Templars moving against Blondie," he said urgently. She nearly dropped her tankard. Fenris looked up at her, eyes narrowing.
"_What?" _she said._ "_Cullen wouldn't _dare…"_
"I don't know who ordered them, but I know they're on their way now," Varric said. "I'll get to Daisy, if you run…"
"Maker curse it," she swore, getting to her feet. Fenris caught her arm, however.
"You'd do better not to go, Hawke. We don't know how many there'll be, on your own you…"
"Come with me then," she snarled, then turned.
She was already running, not checking to see if he was following. Anders was supposed to be under her _protection. _Meredith wouldn't _dare _hurt him.
Unless this was some sort of… show of power. The bitch couldn't touch Hawke, not with the support of the nobles behind her, not when she was The Champion Of Kirkwall, but Anders… he was a thorn in the templars' side, a figurehead for the mage resistance, getting rid of him would hurt the cause almost as much as killing _her _would.
_Holy maker let me get there in time._
She wasn't in time. They were templars, she could tell, despite their rough clothing, despicable, to have disguised themselves as the sick, he would never have suspected… but they died silently, quickly and messily, one to ice and fire, and one to Fenris' sword, not expecting an attack from someone other than the apostate they'd been sent to kill. And they had been sent to kill him. The limp form curled in a ball in the middle of the clinic was still Anders, no brand graced his forehead.
Her magic flared, but her shoulders slumped as she saw the two gaping wounds in his front. Magebane, and a lot of it. His breath was shallow and bubbling ominously.
"No. No no, Anders… _no…" _she slid to her knees beside him, desperately calling forth magic. But the magebane sapped at her reserves. Healing spells had to be _that _much more powerful, needed _that _much more mana behind them to make headway against the poison. And she hadn't brought any potions with her.
"He is an _abomination _Hawke. He would only turn on you." Andraste _fuck _the elf for being just as fast as she was.
"Shut up."
"Hawke, he is beyond help. You exhaust yourself for nothing."
"Fenris, you're not the healer here, and so help me if you don't shut up I'll kill you with my bare hands." Her magic spluttered and died. It wasn't enough. "No! Oh no, _please…"_
"Hawke…" Fenris' hand touched her shoulder.
She rounded on him, tears scattering, one hand still buried in the feathers at Anders' shoulder, trying, all the time trying to find reserves of magic that simply _weren't there…_
"I'm so sick of your _shit,_ Fenris. For six years it's been nothing but mages are dangerous, what does magic touch that it doesn't spoil, mages will turn to blood magic if they get their hair pulled, and what have you been doing all this time? Sitting in your mansion? _Reading?_ You were willing enough to fuck me and run out on me, but now, because I've chosen someone who doesn't think I'm worthless, who thinks my talents are something to be proud of, you want me to _let him die_? For six years he's done nothing but help people, heal the sick, never asking for payment, while you've been festering in your mansion with your wine and your hatred and you have the gall to tell me he's dangerous when he's done _nothing_ to harm you or anyone else…"
"He almost killed…"
"_Almost_. I stopped him, in case you've forgotten. The one time I tried to stop _you_ from killing someone out of hand you completely ignored me and ripped her heart out of her chest. Anders _controlled himself. _You never have."
"I…"
"Fuck off, Fenris. Let me heal the man I love, and who loves me back, and doesn't want me to be something other than what I am. A mage. Free. You think you've escaped Danarius? I say his shackles are still firmly in place. And they suit you."
"Hawke…"
"Get out." She pulled Anders' limp form into her arms, smoothing his hair back from his face, watching the rise and fall of his chest as though it were the only thing keeping _her _alive. _I'm not good enough. Maker, help me I'm not good enough to save him. If only Merrill were here… if I knew what Alim had known, in the deep roads, I could do this. And I would. Oh, Anders, my love, I would, even though you would hate me forever for doing it, because I couldn't stand to be in this world without you in it, not any more. _
…_Justice, why aren't you keeping him alive? What use is a dead mage to your cause?_
There was a flare of blue. "I can help," Fenris' voice was hesitant as he held out his hand to her. "Danarius had me do this… sometimes. It hurts me. But if it will help you heal him…"
She looked at him, glowing blue in the dimness, and realised what he meant. Without hesitation she grasped his hand, sucking power from the lyrium in his skin and using it to replenish her mana, ignoring the gasp of pain that was forced from between the elf's lips as he sank to his knees. The healing magic that poured from her into Anders body purged the poison, forced the wounds in his chest closed and she knew they would scar, but she didn't care, he was becoming whole before her eyes and it wasn't too late and she hadn't had to cut herself and _sweet Andraste just let him live, please I don't want to lose anyone else…_
She continued to pump magic into Anders for a good while after she was certain the wounds were closed, even though Fenris was gasping and sweating with the pain she was causing him. When finally she released the elf he collapsed on the floor, still. She wondered, distantly, if she'd killed him. She almost hoped she had.
Anders' eyes fluttered open and she let out a breathy laugh of relief.
"Saoirse?" he said, then coughed a great gout of red over her robes. One of the knives had pierced a lung. If she'd been seconds later he would have drowned in his own blood.
"Anders. Maker's _cock _Anders I almost lost you." Hysterical laughter bubbled from her lips and she crushed his head into her chest, rocking back and forth. His arms came up around her weakly and she felt him chuckle.
"You're picking up gutter speak," he rasped.
"Picking it up? I invented it," she laughed, burying her head in his neck, breathing in his scent.
"Andraste, Saoirse, I've got blood all over you…"
"Fuck it. I don't care. Kiss me right now."
"I would, but you're holding me too tightly," Anders struggled a little against her until he was sitting up on his own. His skin was still pale and flecked with blood, but she'd never seen anything as beautiful. He cradled her face in his hands and brushed tears away with his thumb. "You're shaking," he said, a note of wonder in his voice.
"Oh Maker, Anders. Don't leave me. _Please."_
He blinked and griped her tighter. "Saoirse, I'm not going anywhere," he said softly.
"Promise me."
He leant his forehead on hers. "I promise." They kissed, his mouth soft and hesitant at first, but she forced him passionate, until they were both gasping and clawing at each other. It took them a while to realise they were still on the dirt floor of the clinic. Anders pulled back, most of his colour restored now, grinning at her.
They were alone. Fenris must have left at some stage. She found she didn't care.
"Let's go home," she said, helping him to his feet.
"I won't argue," he replied.
5. Prologue Stories
Ok, prologue of sorts for the stuff I'm writing little drabbles of. I know it's first person and it's out of order and all of that, but Anders wanted me to explain things, so I had to use his voice, and goddammit that man has a sexy voice that I can't not pay attention to, so here is his little bit of stuff :D.
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><p><em>I am called Anders. Now. It wasn't the name I was born with, but then, I've changed so many times, even since I adopted it, and how many people can claim to be the same person they were when they first became aware of their name? We become the things people label us as. I was labeled "mage" far too long ago to have any attachment to the name I bore when I was born. My lover is "Champion" despite the fact that had she had the choice she would have turned her back on the fate of a city, wanting instead to protect those she loved. My closest friends have borne titles they never thought to - Commander, slave, pirate, guardsman, warden, malificar…<em>
…_storyteller. _
_Oh, and I've borne far too many of those names myself. _
_I never thought I would be one to tell stories. But I've been convinced that some stories are worth it. Varric once told me that stories had power. Varric once wanted to make me the hero of a story. I laughed at the time. "It's not a good story unless the hero dies," he'd said. _
_Perhaps my story would have been better if I had._
_All the stories that started in the Tower ended badly. Save my own, which has not yet ended, but has certainly had its share of bad, and Alim's, which I suspect will go on forever. Our stories both began in the Tower, though. What came before was not important. What came before didn't shape us._
_The Tower was a place where we told stories that had happy endings. Because dealing with the story as it was… well, that was unbearable._
"_Set the scene, Blondie," Varric would tell me. "Introduce your main characters! Hook your readers!" Oh, if I could, I'd tell you the story of Saoirse's childhood, of Alim's dashing circle career, of the Blight and the archdemon and the Arishok and the Knight Commander. But all I can offer you is my own turn of events, and I was… less involved than people might think. _
_I can still remember the fire in the barn - most people would say my story began there. But the beginnings of the story come from so much longer ago. A thousand years ago, in pain and war and death, when a single woman sought to end tyranny against her people and brought down the wrath of an empire upon her shoulders. Before that, when evil magisters corrupted the Golden City of the Maker and caused him to turn his back on his creations…_
…_or so the story says. I have never seen proof of it, and I have… a unique knowledge of the fade and of the time that has passed there. _
_When it comes down to it, we have only ourselves and our stories to rely on. Saoirse taught me this. Alim taught me this. Varric, bless him, taught me this better than the other two combined. People's _lives _are what matters in the end. Millions of people. Living out their lives. Beginnings, middles… inevitable endings. _
_So I'll tell my story, in the hope that it will show people why I did the things I did. It may be lost amidst the outrage and the pain and the retribution and the war. And I would not blame people for hating me for my role. I certainly hate myself enough most days._
_I will never be forgiven. But perhaps, if people read this, eventually I will be understood._
6. Arguments
_This comes just before "Power" and might help explain why the Templars were sent against Anders in his clinic. Thanks for reading and reviewing, I love you all SOOO MUCH._
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><p>"It's all wrong," she threw the paper down and he felt it like a blow to the chest. How can she think that? He's spent the better part of the last two months on this, refining it, trying to make it work, and she says it's wrong. He tried not to look hurt, but knew he'd failed when her face softened and she moved to sit in his lap. His arms came up around her automatically. "I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to say it like that… but it's too… impersonal."<p>
"What do you mean?"
"Andraste suffered at the hands of magisters, thus she feared the influence of magic…" She raised an eyebrow at him over the page she was reading and he shifted uncomfortably. It was fine, to write it down, but to hear it read back at him… She held up a finger. "First rule, write as though you're talking to a two year old. You've spent the last six years in darktown, you _must _know that everyone doesn't have a circle education…"
"Well, yes… but I was thinking more along the lines of convincing the nobles… it's not as though _they…"_
"You've lived with _me _for the last three years, Anders," her smirk was adorable, her hazel eyes twinkling. "You know the Boultons next door wouldn't know how to construct a sentence if you paid them for it. They _hire _people to do their reading for them."
He chuckled. "So. You're saying I'm going over people's heads…"
"In more ways than one," she put the sheet of paper back down on the table, leaning forward and giving him a tantalising glimpse of skin under her shirt. He began to think perhaps they could postpone the manifesto talk…
…a rebellious surge stopped him from acting on that urge. He'd started writing to stop the restlessness. It was an outlet of sorts, for the spirit within him, and he needed to continue it if he wanted to keep Justice sated.
He caught her hand and gave it a quick kiss. "What do you suggest then?" he said.
She canted her head on one side and examined him for a moment. "Remember the deep roads?" she said. "That night you told me about… about what they did to you in the Tower?"
He blinked at her. That was years and years ago now, but it came back to him. Sitting in the dark, wrapped in their bedrolls against the all pervading chill, trying to ward off the nightmares. Not nightmares about the darkspawn, but nightmares about other things. The particular sound a body makes, swinging from roof beams. The cold stone of blank walls with no sound but his own imaginings and the whisper of demons.
_Those _nightmares.
He'd told her things he'd never told anyone else. Things he probably _should _have shared with Justice or Alim or _anyone _before he made his deal with the spirit.
"Yes," he said.
"I never told you that was when I realised I hadn't been doing enough. All our lives we moved to avoid the Templars, Father was just protecting _us. _He had a wife and children, I can understand why he was so focused… inwards, but when you told me what the circle was actually _like…" _she leaned her forehead on his. "Well, apart from going from half in love with you to completely obsessed, I also realised we had to _do _something."
"My story… did that for you?"
She nodded. "You should write it out," she said. "The whole thing. And publish it. And then… then we should get the other mages to do the same thing. Ella. Orsino even. I don't doubt that the Kirkwall circle now is much worse than the Ferelden one when you were there, and that was bad enough. If people can put _names _to the people who are suffering, they won't be able to handwave it as not their problem."
Excitement claimed him and he got to his feet, gently setting her on her own and starting to pace the room. "I bet there are Ferelden mages who can write their own stories," he said. "If only we knew where the survivors of the rebellion got to…"
"Uldred's blood mages?" her eyes widened.
He stopped and gnawed at a nail. "No. No that's probably not the best idea. Although I know for a fact that two of them only turned to blood magic because… well lets just say that Templar who I got to? I didn't get to him fast enough."
Her face clouded. "When you said you were fortunate to Sebastian the other day… I wanted to kick you," she said, moving closer to him and wrapping her arms around his chest. "There are people out there who had a worse run, but Maker, Anders, don't think you're one of the _lucky ones. I'm_ one of the lucky ones. Even… even Bethany was one of the lucky ones. Not you."
He stroked her hair. "I should get started writing," he said, looking at the fire over her head. "I might ask you to look at it, after, if you will?"
"I should have waited until the morning to suggest this, shouldn't I?" she said, looking up at him with a sad smile. He blinked, suddenly realising that she was stroking his hand, pressed tightly against him, warm and inviting and _distracting. _
The drive was so strong. To be doing, not sitting, not…
…having some sort of a life that meant something to him and not just to justice. "I'm bringing him out, aren't I?" she said, raising a hand and laying it on his cheek. "You have to fight him… when I want you for myself and not for…" _the cause._
He drew in a ragged breath. He wanted to say _no _he wanted to say _you're just as important to me as the cause _he wanted to wrap her in his arms, kiss her, make love to her for days on end and never have this ever present, clawing, biting _need _inside him to be _doing _rather than…
"Anders?" He blinked and looked down into her eyes. "There is time," she said. "I'll still be here in the morning." She planted a kiss to his cheek and stepped back, heading to the bed. "Just try to be quiet? And come to bed as soon as you can. There are patients in the clinic and you need your sleep. No matter what he says."
_Maker's cock. No._
"Fuck it," he said, unbuckling his coat and letting it fall to the floor, rushing to her in two long strides and gathering her up in his arms. She laughed delightedly as he buried his head in her neck and barelled her into the bed. "Naked. Now."
"Yes _ser."_
* * *
><p>There are so many who want to tell their stories. The pamphlets litter Hightown, Lowtown, Darktown, the Docks. Everyone who can read is exposed, and people who can't have them read to them.<p>
_My name is Anders and when I was twelve I set fire to my father's barn…_
…_my name is Hannah and when the Templars came for me my mother tried to keep me from them. They killed her with a single sword stroke. I was five years old._
The Knight Captain takes copies of the stories to Meredith, who reads them and crumples them into small balls, shaking with anger.
"The Champion cannot protect him from me now," she mutters. Cullen hopes he imagines the glint of madness in her eye.
…_my brother was beaten every day for six months until he couldn't take it any more…_
… _I was the only mage out of ten to survive my harrowing…_
_One day he was fine, looking forward to his next class, the next morning they'd branded him and he never smiled again…_
Orsino debates changing his name when he writes his story and has it smuggled to Hawke. In the end he does, if only for the people under his care. Meredith has always been stationed at Kirkwall, it is unlikely she knows the details of his life before he became First Enchanter. He almost hopes she does, however. Anything would be better than this powerless _waiting._
_I was told if I didn't do everything he asked of me he would kill my family and make me tranquil…_
…_I didn't even get to see my baby's face before she was taken from me…_
Varric spends Hawke's coin like water, finding printers who will keep their mouths shut, paper, ink and supplies. He is uncomfortable. But he knows the power of stories. And Hawke is his friend.
* * *
><p>"She's absolutely <em>livid<em> Hawke," Varric was pacing back and forth. "Blondie's really done it this time. Of course the mage-haters are saying he made it all up, but I know better. The boy doesn't write that well, unless you did it…"
"Varric, _Anders _was trained in the Tower. I'm lucky if I can get a sentence out without a spelling mistake."
"I know, I know. But you've put yourself in danger. Or him. I suggest you take a few more precautions."
She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "We're already taking as many as we can," she said. "He can get to his clinic from our basement, and the darktowners wouldn't let Templars within fifty feet of him."
Varric glowered darkly. "They're not above using less obvious methods, Hawke," he said. "Convince him to stay away from the clinic for a while."
She snorted. "You say that as though it's something that lies within the realms of possibility," she said. "He won't leave his patients, you know that."
Varric waved an arm. "Fine. Fine. You might want to talk to broody too, though. Isabela's been teaching him to read the stuff and it's making him angry again."
"Fuck Fenris."
"I thought you already had."
"You're a funny man, Varric. Funny and short."
"With a crossbow that could be pointed at you."
"You wouldn't kill me. You need fodder for your stories."
"Stories are what's getting us in trouble at the moment."
"It's _working _Varric. The people are starting to listen to us."
"Meredith isn't going to let this stand, Hawke," Varric tugged on one of his earrings. "You haven't been in Kirkwall all your life. The Knight Commander isn't someone you want to tangle with."
"We _have _to tangle with her," Saoirse started to pace the room. "You've read the stories, Varric, I know you have. For every mage who lives happily in the Tower there are six more who are miserable or dead. Or miserable _then _dead. Or miserable, then tranquil, then…" she couldn't think of anything to top tranquil. Last night she'd woken sweating from a dream of Anders wearing the brand. It had taken nearly an hour to calm her shaking.
"Hey, I'm on your side, Hawke."
"As much as you're on anyone's any way," there was a lot of bitterness in her tone.
"I like you. I like Blondie. I'd like you both to live out long, happy lives surrounded by little fireball throwing children. Antagonising Meredith is one way to make sure that doesn't happen."
"If we leave her be it will never happen either, Varric," she said sadly. Her friend sighed.
"I'll put out the word to keep a closer watch on the Templars," he said. "You owe me, though."
"I'll buy for the next year if it will help, Varric," she said, clapping him on the shoulder.
"Shit, Hawke, you owe me for _ten."_
7. Apology
The mansion was still a mess. Fenris may have been a slave, but he certainly wasn't the domestic type. She stepped over some fallen rubble and made her way to the room where he normally slept. He was perched in a chair with his shoeless feet up on a table, holding a sheet of paper which she recognised as Anders' personal story held close to his eyes.
She knew reading was still difficult for him. He despised anyone see him struggle with it though. When he heard her step (her boots were _not _made for stealth) he threw the page down and sat up, scowling.
"Hawke," he said. "What brings you here?"
"Varric said you were brooding again," she said, shrugging. "I wanted to know how he could tell the difference."
"I would have thought you wouldn't want to see me again."
She bit her lip. The last she'd seen him had been in the clinic. She winced, remembering what she'd said to him, what she'd _done _to him.
"Are you all right?" she asked finally. "I never asked… if what I did to you would have any lasting effects…"
"Do you care?"
She drew in a sharp breath. "I could say _no. _Would that even matter to you?"
Fenris swung his legs down and stood, facing the fire. "Why do you come here, Hawke?" he said harshly. "You never liked me. Even when we… it wasn't out of affection_…" _his voice cracked with bitterness.
"No, it wasn't," she said. "Luckily for me, considering what happened afterwards."
"I…" he spread his hands on the fireplace and leaned against it, as though he wanted to push it through the wall. "You don't understand. You didn't then and you don't now."
"No. But you never bothered to explain it to me either."
There was a faint hint of blue glow in his tattoos. She raised an eyebrow. "Would you even have listened? It seemed like… _minutes _between me leaving and _Anders _moving in."
"It was three months, Fenris."
"Ha!"
She sighed. It was so difficult for the elf not to rub her the wrong way. He was lucky he hadn't caught the brunt of her anger in magical form. But no matter what else he'd done, he'd saved Anders for her, kept her heart alive. Just thinking about what might have happened had Fenris not followed her that night made her shiver and sweat at once. "I didn't come here to argue with you."
"Really. The world shudders in surprise."
"I came to apologise," she crossed her arms and frowned, looking at one of the ruined portraits on the walls. "But of course I've managed to fuck that up completely."
"I… to… apologise?" He turned to face her, his green eyes wide.
"And to thank you. I owe you Anders' life, which is… far more than I can ever hope to repay."
"I notice _he _isn't here to thank me for it."
"I didn't tell him how I saved him, Fenris," she said. "I figured you wouldn't want him to know."
Fenris' eyes narrowed as he looked at her, then he cocked his head on one side, considering. "You _do _know me, Hawke."
She smiled and shrugged. "Six years of broodiness can't hide everything about a person. And I grew up with Carver, remember."
Fenris gave his short bark of a laugh and she felt a small surge of pride. It was always a pleasant thing - making him laugh. She remembered why she had been attracted to him. "Will you sit?" he said then. "I think there's more wine."
"I wouldn't say no to a drink," she said. Fenris poured a glass for her, the only glass he owned, she suspected. He preferred to drink from the bottle.
She took a sip, savouring the smoky flavour. Danarius kept a good cellar, of that there was no doubt.
"I said some things… I probably shouldn't have in the clinic, Fenris," she said once the first few sips had warmed her belly. The elf cocked an eyebrow at her.
"Some?" he said.
"Yes. Some."
"You were… upset."
She snorted. "That's one way of putting it."
"I… I've been reading the stories," he said then, glancing at the desk where the sheafs of Anders' manifesto lay. "It's still slow going for me. And I still don't believe mages can be free."
"Can be free or deserve to be free?"
Fenris frowned. "You are dangerous," he said. She wasn't sure, then, if he meant mages or just _her._
"So are you," she pointed out. "But I thought we'd agreed to disagree about this. And you still haven't turned us in."
His eyes flashed in anger. "You think I…" he shook his head, took a breath. "Of course you do. I haven't given you any reason to think otherwise. But I would never turn you in Hawke. Or him. I know you care for him, and I would never knowingly hurt you. Not again."
She blinked, caught off guard by a rush of feeling, shocked to feel the prick of tears in her eyes. Fenris had always been there, always fought by her side. She'd never really stopped to think about why she could inspire so much loyalty when she embodied pretty much everything he despised.
"If it's any consolation I was pretty determined to hurt _myself _back then," she said finally. "I'm sorry you got caught in the crossfire."
"He doesn't deserve you," Fenris said forcefully.
She tugged at her hair and sighed. "I don't deserve him either," she said. "We rarely get what we deserve, Fenris. Surely you know that by now."
The small resigned smile on his face told her more than words could have. "This was meant to be a thank you and an apology," she said after a long pause where they both drank deeply. "What say we move to the Hanged Man and turn it into a drinking competition instead? I know Varric's down there already. Isabela too."
"They both _live _there."
"All the more reason to join them, they have tabs."
"What about Anders?"
She frowned and looked down. The attack had hurt him. So much. Not because of what they'd done to _him _specifically - but the others who'd been targeted. The mages whose stories weren't anonymous enough, the one group of printers who'd had their livelihood taken away and their equipment burned, the Templar on _every _street corner of the city. Aveline was up in arms, raging that Anders had made her life practically impossible, and his earnest arguments that it wasn't _he _who had made the Templars so damned vicious were falling on increasingly deaf ears.
Despite that Saoirse had seen it as a victory of sorts, Anders was crushed that this victory had cost lives, made good mages tranquil, sent more to scampering to darktown under the weight of poverty and persecution. She knew that Justice was riding him harder than ever. He barely slept, she had to force him to eat…
…only when she could convince him to make love to her would he show signs of the old Anders. He would be sated for an hour, maybe two, before he would leap up from the bed and go to his books. Searching, searching, all the time searching, although what for she had never been able to get a straight answer on.
"He's busy," she said to Fenris, shortly. The elf raised an eyebrow, but didn't press the issue, and she was grateful. For a while, she would forget about him and drink with friends.
8. Explanations
_Set just after Apology._
* * *
><p>She got home, late, smelling of ale and smoke, a little unsteady on her feet. She opened the door to their room to find him at the desk, as she half knew he would be, squinting at a book in the dim light of only one candle. She casually lit the lamp above him with a wave of her hand and he looked up, startled, shutting the book furtively and brushing hair out of his eyes.<p>
"That was quick!" he said, smiling and standing.
She frowned. "It's past midnight," she said, slurring slightly. He winced. "What were you working on?"
"Oh, research," he said, waving a hand and stepping closer. "You, my love, are drunk."
She nodded. "I fucking hope so. Otherwise I'd be worried about the room spinning." He lifted a hand, blue light starting, but she slapped it away. "No," she said. "If I wanted to be sober I wouldn't have spent so much money getting drunk."
He let the light fizzle out and cupped her cheek in his hand instead. "Something's wrong," he said softly, stroking her cheek with his thumb. She leaned into his touch, sighing, feeling desire stirring. He was so…
"Yes," she said, catching his hand and pulling it to her mouth. She kissed it, breathed in the scent of ink and paper on his fingers. "Why don't you tell me what it is?" she said then. His hand tensed.
"Saoirse…"
"Nothing's wrong with _me. _I'm fine. But you…" she dropped his hand and stepped away from him, stumbling a little. When she reached the wall, she turned back and leaned against it, hands behind her back, feet out for balance. "What are you doing all day, Anders? When you're not at the clinic you're here, or out looking for books… what could you possibly be _doing…"_
"Do you want to have this conversation _now?" _he asked, eyes narrowing. "You can barely stand up straight."
"Yes I want to have it _now," _she said. "I've been wanting to have it for _weeks. _Ever since we got word of the fire in the printers. Had to get drunk to get up the courage to…"
His face fell a little and her heart lurched. Maker damn him, why was he so… _open _and so _secretive _at the same time? "You were afraid of me?" he asked softly.
"No! Not of you. _Never _of you. I just… I didn't know how to ask. How can I ask you what's going on in your head? Half the time I don't think _you _know what's going on in your head. I just…" she pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes. "I just want to know you're all right."
He was right in front of her, suddenly, breath warm on her cheek, his hands stroking her hair, pulling it loose from its tie, then gently moving her hands away from her face and holding them in his. "I'm here," he said. "I'm right here and I'm _fine."_
She blinked up at him. "No you're not," she said bluntly. "What are you _doing _all the time, Anders?"
"I don't want to tell you," he said, eyes anguished. She pressed her lips together and tried to push him away, but his grip on her hands tightened and he pushed her more strongly into the wall. "No… Saoirse, let me explain… I'm trying to find something…" he wet his lips with his tongue… "I don't want you to get your hopes up for something that might not even exist…"
"Anders just fucking _tell me."_
He closed his eyes for a moment. "I'm trying to find a way to separate us," he said finally. "Me and Justice. Some way to send him back to the fade."
There was a long silence. The words wouldn't process. Separate them. "All the books are in Tevinter," she said then. "I thought you were hiding something from me. Something… worse…"
He winced. "I didn't want to tell you. I didn't think it was possible… I'm still not sure. But if there is a way, the Tevinters will know it."
"Let me help you then," she said. He laughed.
"I'd have to teach you to read Tevinter, my love. It's not much fun and neither of us have the time."
She let herself smile a little, then. His face smoothed in relief and he bent his head to kiss her. She let herself melt against him as his breath quickened and her heart started to thud against her chest. "Maker," he breathed when they parted. "You are _really _drunk."
She laughed and pushed back at him. "I have to get drunk for both of us now," she said.
His eyes narrowed and she felt heat rush to her cheeks at the intensity in his eyes. "Drunk is good," he said then, lifting her hands which were still clasped in his, above her head, capturing both her wrists in one of his hands and pressing closer to her, trailing kisses down her arm to her cheek. "Drunk dulls the senses," he said in her ear. "It'll take you longer."
She felt the heat of his words right down to the pit of her stomach. His hands found their way under her shirt, and they were cold at first, making her shiver as they trailed upwards to her breast and teased her nipple under the thin cloth of her breastband. His slender body, wiry and strong, was completely pressed against hers, wearing only the loose shirt and breeches he wore around the house rather than his bulky robes. She could feel the bones of his hip against hers, the heat and hardness of his cock through the cloth of their clothes. She tried to curl against him, but he was as strong as steel, pressing her into the wall, pinning her completely as he worked his mouth over her neck, his hand over her breast and stomach. He slipped his fingers down her skirt, then, and between her thighs, teasing lightly across her curls before he plunged his fingers upwards and into her. Her head slammed back against the wall and she gasped as he grinned, moving his fingers rapidly for a few seconds, before withdrawing them and slowly licking each one.
She groaned and struggled weakly against his grip on her wrists. "Anders…" she said.
"Mmm?" he said, his mouth busy, dipping down lower to trace her collarbone.
"_Anders."_
He held her wrists firmly and deftly undid her shirt, letting cold air brush over her skin. It was _very _cold air and she felt the tingle of magic from his free hand raising gooseflesh all over her. Again, she struggled against his grip. He lightly lifted her wrists from the wall and slammed them back into place, firmly, just on this side of pain. She groaned.
He tugged her skirt down then, so it was trapping her knees, and yanked down her smalls. The cold air only served to emphasise how wet she was as he worked his free hand back into her, using his thumb and fingers in ways that left her gasping.
He whispered in her ear, what he intended to do, what he would make her do, a list of promises of acts that made her weak at the knees. When he lifted her from the wall and took her to the bed she allowed herself to drown in him, in the sensations he could pull from her body. He was right, it _did _take her longer, she was sweetly aching and overwhelmed with sensation by the time she finally called his name and collapsed back onto the bed. Only then did he let blue light flare over her head, soothing away the effects of the alcohol, ensuring she wouldn't pay for her indulgence the next day and nudging her towards dreams and the fade.
"Sleep now, my love," he said softly as her eyes closed, and if she'd been more aware she would have taken greater note of the sadness in his words. Almost she didn't catch his last whispered phrase as he gently smoothed hair away from her sweaty forehead.
"I'm so sorry."
* * *
><p>He lay curled around her, awake and unlikely to find sleep. It was as though he had a fist around his heart, squeezing it to the point of shattering. Making love to her, burying himself in her depths, drawing out her moans and shouts of pleasure had staved off the guilt for a time, but once she was sated - and he'd been certain she was <em>very <em>sated - it all came rushing back to him. _I lied to her. _
_And I'm going to keep lying to her._
He forced himself to spend the whole night next to her, cradling her in his arms when she turned to him halfway through the night, mumbling in her dreams. The burning desire to be getting started now that he knew what he must do was painful to resist. Staying here with her was penance, of a kind, but it was a penance he undertook willingly. He vowed she wouldn't wake without him again, until the end.
It wouldn't be long now.
9. Into the Deep
_Set obviously, just at the start of the Deep Roads mission._
* * *
><p>He thought he'd done pretty well, when it came down to it. The rickety stairs down to the cavern entrance were negotiated without incident. It was dark, thank the Maker, when they got there, and Bartrand thought it would be better to make camp inside rather than out considering rain was threatening, so there was no sudden loss of light to unsettle him. He kept a spell wisp going, in any case, as did Saoirse. It was embarrassing how much he relied on those two spots of light.<p>
They set up camp and Anders busied himself with his bedroll. It was new, as was his pack. Saoirse had dropped them by for him a few days before they left. He'd tried to refuse them, but she'd put her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm not taking you down there with sub-standard equipment, Anders," she'd said. He'd winced, remembering the gear he'd taken with him to the Wounded Coast, and nodded.
At least he still had Spellfury. The one thing that had managed to survive the trip from Amaranthine. Saoirse had eyed the staff with interest soon as she saw it. It wasn't the same as the one he used within the city walls - it was too obviously powerful, even a normal person could feel the itch of magic when it was in the same room as them. He had it locked in a runed chest in his room at the clinic - a chest he'd painstakingly enchanted himself when he first arrived. Having it with him made things seem more normal, somehow, even though he'd only had it for the last few months he was a warden. Alim had given it to him at the gates of the city when he'd been almost certain they were going to die. Well, he and Alim and Nate, any way.
Justice had already been dead.
He set the staff next to his bedroll within easy reach. The deep roads were never predictable, never safe. They would do well to keep their weapons close at all times.
It was only once they were sorting out watches that he started to feel the oppressive weight of the walls and ceiling as a kind of physical ache. It didn't help that he could sense lyrium in the walls too. _There_ was a side effect to his melding he hadn't anticipated. When they'd decided the party to descend into the deep roads he'd been very pleased Saoirse wasn't bringing Fenris with them. He liked Carver a lot more than the elf, which if he was being truthful, wasn't saying a great deal. Still, the only headache he'd be getting from the younger Hawke would be because he was an ignorant blockhead with a chip on his shoulder, not from esoteric lyrium markings that buzzed in his head like chantry bells and made it impossible to concentrate.
He busied himself with making a fire for them. Saoirse came up next to him and laid a hand on his shoulder once the sticks were blazing and emitting faint warmth. "Do you sense any darkspawn?" she asked softly. He shook his head, clenching his jaw.
"There are some," he said tightly. "But they're far enough away for it not to be a problem."
She bit her lip, looking nervous, and he suddenly remembered that her sister had been killed by an ogre, not to mention her entire village destroyed during the Blight. It was hard to concentrate, though, hard to think like a normal person - far more than usual, with the darkness and the _smell _and the familiar scritching at the back of his consciousness he thought he'd never have to deal with again. It was very, very hard to remember that there were other people with him who _didn't _feel the same way he did - the deep roads was a _warden _place, somewhere he'd spent very few good times and many, many miserable ones and to be surrounded by people who weren't wardens was at the same time both a relief and a constant source of worry. The taint could kill any one of them. He truly hoped Saoirse and Bartrand together had taken proper precautions.
He shook his head, trying to dislodge the almost-sound that was echoing through it. He cast a quick spell that left him lightheaded but more calm, cursing himself for not being strong enough. Maker, the lyrium was going to be more difficult to cope with than the sodding claustrophobia.
"Magic?" Saoirse said. He'd forgotten she was there.
He pressed his lips together, the disapproval of his mentors in the tower, the disapproval of… well the lack of disapproval from Alim which had somehow been _worse…_
"I'm sorry," he said, running his hand through his hair. "This is worse than I thought it would be."
She sat crosslegged next to him, the green skirt of her armour-like robes touching his leg. "Worse how?" she said. "The scenery? The smell? The darkspawn? Or the cheery company?"
He managed a smile at that. He was grateful he hadn't had to do any of the dealings with Varric's brother. Not having had siblings of his own, he was somewhat bemused that two people who had the same parents could be so different in personality.
There was a frustrated curse from the other side of the camp and he saw Carver struggling with his bedroll. _Then again, maybe I shouldn't be so surprised._
"I… have issues with being underground," he said. "Or in a confined space. The magic helps dull that a bit. But I haven't been to the deep roads since Justice and I… and… well…"
"Justice doesn't like it either?"
He grimaced. "Precisely the opposite, actually. Justice loves lyrium… _loved _lyrium. The Commander gave him a ring made of it once. We had to leave it behind - too dangerous for me to carry."
She looked puzzled. "Loves lyrium? As in…" he could see her shrinking a little from him and he wondered at it, that his status as an abomination could cause her no fear, but the possibility that he might be drug addict made her wary.
"No. Not like that. He used to say it… sang."
She looked fascinated then. _"Sang?"_
Anders shrugged. "Let's just say if what I can hear is singing, the fade is desperately short of good music teachers."
She _guffawed. _He'd never seen a woman do that before - except Sigrun when she'd had too many ales. Saoirse's chortle sounded somewhere between a pig and a horse and he couldn't help the grin that spread over his face at hearing it. It was a laugh of someone who didn't care what her laugh sounded like. "So, the lyrium down here is… "
"Singing. Yes. And I imagine it'll only get worse. Most of the lyrium here is buried pretty deep - miners would have gotten to it otherwise, especially this close to Kirkwall. When you get deeper into the roads sometimes there's lyrium just lying about… "
"Singing at you?" she said.
"Singing to Justice, any way."
"What does it sound like?"
"It doesn't sound like anything I could easily describe. It just gives me a headache."
She got up suddenly and moved behind him, kneeling close enough that he could feel her breath on the back of his neck.
"What are you doing?"
"My father taught me some healing," she said. "I'm pretty good at it. Not as good as you, but I know sometimes someone else's magic is better than your own."
Before he could object he felt her cool hands on his neck and the tingle of her magic on the back of his tongue. Alim had healed him, many times as a warden, but once he had gone, Anders had been the only mage warden in Amaranthine. It had been over a year since he'd felt the touch of another's magic, and he felt his breath leave him in a rush as it started to come back to him.
Alim's magic had peculiarities to it that Saoirse's lacked. Completely. Saoirse's felt like sunlight, and warm water, and tasted like new baked bread. There was an edge of wildness to it that spoke more to him about how she had been trained than anything she had said could have clarified for him, something light and _natural _that made him want to stretch like Pounce in the sunlight. When her fingers started to knead at the muscles in his neck, however, he wanted to groan aloud in pleasure.
He couldn't remember the last time he'd been touched by another person, when it wasn't a patient grabbing at him in pain or desperation, or an enemy trying to hurt him. It took all his willpower not to lean into her touch, shut his eyes and fantasise that this was something he _deserved…_
That way danger lay. But he couldn't bring himself to move forward, ask her to stop, not with the walls so close, not when what she was doing was muffling the screech of the lyrium and the constant itching of the darkspawn.
"Maker," he breathed. "That's good."
Her hands stilled briefly and he felt a slight tremble in them before he heard her take a breath and continue - firm sweeps down to his collarbone and back up, barely touching now, just letting a gentle pulse of magic sink into his skin.
_I have to tell her to stop. _It was very, very difficult to lift his hand and still one of hers. "Thank you," he said. Looking up and letting go of her hand, quickly - so much more quickly than he would have liked. Her other hand stayed at his neck and he could feel her trace the line of one of his veins and _he had to stop her…_
"I can do more…" she was saying, with a slight smile on her face.
"No, no," he shifted forward enough so her hand fell away from his skin. "Please. You've done enough," her eyes narrowed and he searched desperately for some way for this _not _to be a rejection _but it is a rejection _and found it in the looming figure of Carver Hawke, looking their way and obviously trying not to in that way he had that Anders knew was unique to boys under twenty.
Oh to be that young again and free to do precisely the things he knew Carver thought Anders wanted to do to his sister. Plus a few more besides. The boy didn't look like he had the best imagination in the world, "_Any_ way," he said, "your brother is giving me_ that _look again and I'd rather like to wake up with my head attached to my neck if you don't mind."
Her head whipped round and she focused her gaze on her brother with enough murderousness that Anders almost regretted drawing her attention to it. The boy was an arse, but he didn't deserve death by immolation for not wanting his sister to be involved with an abomination. "Carver!" she shouted, and started stalking towards him. Anders ducked his head, now buzzing pleasantly from the aftermath of her spell, and poked at the fire with a stick.
It was going to be a long trip down into the dark.
10. Reasons
_This one is set after "Healing Hands" where Saoirse ends up wounded between Act I and Act II and spends the night at Anders' clinic, after._
* * *
><p>When she woke up the next morning there was very little light seeping under the rickety door that partitioned Anders' room from the rest of the clinic. She swung her legs over the edge of the cot and wondered whether she'd be able to find clothes to wear back to the mansion - it was stupid, she knew, that they hadn't unblocked the cellar entrance, she could be so close to home otherwise…<p>
It would be so easy to slip down here at night… or for him to slip up to her…
She shook her head, trying to clear it of the cloying images, and stood up. The shirt she was wearing was at least long enough for her to claim _some _degree of modesty, so she pushed open the door a crack and peeped out.
The two big doors that led into the clinic were still shut. There would be people milling about outside, she knew. Whenever she managed to get down here early she was never the first, always, _always _there were people who had need enough to be at his door before he was ready for them.
She slipped out into the clinic. There was no light here, either, so she set a spell wisp up to see where she was going.
That was when she saw him.
On one of the cots, closest to his own room. He'd left his shirt off and was covered only by a thin blanket, so worn and threadbare that she felt a stab of guilt. Even after the deep roads he never seemed to have enough money to be comfortable. She knew he financed the clinic out of the money she gave him - _the money he earned helping her. _The only way she could get him to eat was to eat with him. And he wasn't eating enough - it was painfully obvious how his ribs showed under the muscle of his chest. Thin. So thin. She wanted to touch that skin, feel it under her fingers the way she had the night before.
One of his arms was flung over his head, his hair a fan of gold across the small pillow. He must have been _cold. _There wasn't enough heat here. If she pulled the blanket up to at least cover his shoulders, surely that would be all right, after all he'd done for her?
She knelt next to the cot and lifted the blanket, pulling it gently up to his shoulders. Maker, but the only thing she really _wanted _to do was kiss him, now. Nearly three years she'd been trying and she _knew _he felt the same about her and the damn problem was…
… what _was _the fucking problem? Really? She'd never gotten a straight answer. Only _I'll hurt you. _Or _you don't want to tie yourself to me _or _we've talked about this…_ but had they really? _Talked _about it?
Her fingers were still caught in the blanket, her knuckles resting against the skin of his shoulder. He hadn't stirred. He was so peaceful, his face lacking the constant wariness it had when he was awake. She gently lifted her hand, intending to cup his cheek, or stroke his hair, or… _something, _but there was a sudden sound - a creak of the cot, she was leaning too close and his eyes flew open and they were glowing _blue _not the soft brown she knew and before she could react he was on his feet and she was slammed against a wall.
"What are you doing?" the booming voice of Justice echoed around the clinic and for the first time in his presence she felt real _fear…_
Showing it, though, would be a mistake. Possibly the last mistake she would ever make. His hands were gripping her upper arms and she felt a twinge of pain in her middle where the arrow had pierced her. His grip was frightening in its strength, there was no way the thin arms she could see were capable of that much and she knew there would be bruises there, afterwards.
"Anders, it's me. Saoirse." She forced her voice calm. "I spent the night here, remember?"
The blue eyes blinked, the frown lessened. The cracks of blue light on his skin receded and his grip loosened. She wished she could touch him, but she was still gripped too firmly. "Anders?"
"You surprised me," he said, softly. There was still some echo to his voice, but he blinked and shook his head and the last of the blue faded from his eyes. _"Sweet Maker, _Saoirse!" he dropped her arms as though they burned him and stepped back. "Did I hurt you? Tell me I didn't hurt you!"
She shook her head. "I'm fine, Anders, it's all right!"
He was shaking. "I knew it was a mistake… to let you stay here."
"Anders, it's all right. I'm fine."
His eyes raked her body and she shivered, feeling heat flare in her cheeks, before he roughly grabbed her hand, pushing up the sleeve of the shirt she wore. She gasped as he exposed her upper arm, and the five red angry marks of his fingers showed livid against her skin. His lips curled in a snarl. _"Fine. Yes. Absolutely," _he growled, then shoved her hand away from him and turned his back. "I'm a _monster." _he hissed out. "You should go."
She frowned at him. "Should I?" she said. "I snuck up on you sleeping, you reacted the way _anyone _who's been living on a knife edge of tension for _years_…"
"_Anyone _couldn't have ripped your head off at the neck!"
"You know, about three of my friends _could _actually. Or boiled my blood from the inside. Or skewered me with a dagger. Or _bored _me to death preaching about the sodding Maker and his sodding _mercy_. Not to mention what I could do to _you…"_
"You don't understand."
"_Make _me understand then," she said. "Show me how terrible you are. Because you know what? I haven't seen it yet. I've seen you do nothing but help and heal people in need - you saved my brother, you spend your _life, _your _money _fighting an uphill, unending battle against the desperation and horror of this place and you have _never _hurt me or anyone who didn't richly deserve it!"
"I killed them _all _Saoirse!" he rounded on her, panting.
"_Who?"_
He drew in a deep breath, eyes narrowing. "I never told you why I left the wardens."
"You didn't?"
His hands were opening and closing, but his breath slowed and his eyes closed. "Justice and I… we decided to meld after they recruited a Templar to watch me. Alim was lucky, he got away before the Chantry started whining about the wardens harbouring apostates. Even with his status as Hero of Ferelden there were whispers about him - influencing the king, being a noble… Maker I should have seen it coming. After all, he wasn't the apostate._ I _was. And a murderer, according to them, even though the only Templars I ever killed were in self-defense…" he heaved a breath.
"Go on," she said.
"Rolan was there. I was so sodding stupid - _we _were so stupid, but when Justice came into me… well… I lost control. He saw. He knew what I was, and he called the Templars down on us. And so we killed him."
"Sounds perfectly reasonable to me," she said, folding her arms.
"No. You don't understand. We were out with the wardens - on a patrol… men I'd served with for months. When I killed Rolan… I ripped his _head _off, Saoirse, with my _hands… _and then…"
"What?"
"When I came back to myself they were _all _dead, Saoirse. The wardens, the templars, Rolan. All of them. I'd ripped them to shreds - tasted their _flesh…"_
Her eyes widened but she stood her ground, determined to make him _see…_
When he opened his eyes and looked at her she hadn't moved. "I hope you brushed your teeth after," she said mildly.
He blinked. _"What?"_
"Well, I can't imagine Templar tastes very good. They'd give you terrible breath too. All that windbagging."
"_Saoirse I'm being serious."_
"And I'm _not._ Because it's not _worth it."_
"Saoirse…"
"I've heard enough. You had no way of knowing what would happen when the two of you merged," she waved a hand. "They were threatening you. You reacted. And you feel _guilty _about it and you've spent four years trying to _make up for it."_
"How do you make up for something like that?" he said softly.
"You do what you've been doing for four years, Anders," she replied. "Unless you've been running off to snack on Templars when I'm not around I think you should _move on."_
"I… " Anders' expression of perplexed fury almost made her laugh. "Saoirse I just bared my soul to you and you're… you…"
She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Yes?"
"You drive me _crazy!" _he shouted, but the tension was leaking out of him and his shoulders were shaking with repressed laughter. She allowed the smile to reach her face, then as she watched him. He sighed, finally, wiping at his eyes. "You should go," he said. "Your mother will be worried. I should check your wound too…"
"I can stay," she said. "And help for today. I'm not doing anything else."
"I'd… like that," he said.
"But, I'll need my clothes back," she said. "I don't think the residents of darkspawn need to be healed by a half naked apostate."
"Or two!" Anders said, grinning a little manically now. "I washed your robes last night, they're over here." He went to a corner were blankets and linens were hung on a line - obviously where he cleaned his bandages. Her robes were pinned next to some sheets. He handed them to her, a little shyly. "I mended the hole," he said. "Not the most professional of jobs, but they're decent again."
She took the bundle of red from him and traced the mend - neat, professional stitches. Where on _earth _did he learn to sew? "Thank you," she said.
He nodded, smiling, then shook his head in wonder. "I don't know how you do it, Saoirse," he said then, standing close. He lifted a hand, as though he were going to cup her cheek in it, and she found herself leaning forward, but he held back, as he always did, and the hand fell back to his side. The smile on his face turned rueful. "I _really_ don't. But… it's appreciated."
He turned back to his room, then, and she hugged the cloth of her robe to her chest, cursing fate, the world and _him _for being everything that she wanted and nothing she could have.
11. Holding Pattern
_Set just after MEMORIES, right before the trip to the Wounded Coast to rescue Feynriel._
* * *
><p>Anders slung his staff on his back and watched her methodically loot the bodies. She reminded him of Alim, with her constant need for coin. He supposed she was still a long way off the fifty sovereigns she needed to finance the trip to the deep roads. The ever present problem of needing coin to make coin frustrated him almost as much as the plight of the mages. If the refugees in Darktown a sovereign between them there was a chance they could get back to Ferelden.<p>
If they had anything to go back to.
She sat back on her heels with a piece of paper in her hands. "Maker's Breath, why do they have _receipts _for these things?" she said, a faint look of disgust on her face. It was a slaver invoice. "Looks like they took him to some bolt hole in the Wounded Coast." A smile played on her lips. "I wonder if that's near the injured cliffs?" She looked up, hopefully. Fenris was scowling at the body of the slaver mage and Varric was polishing the stock of Bianca - the dwarf was obsessed with keeping the crossbow clean. Anders was the only one looking at her and he had to confess, he was distracted by the way her robe clung to her hips and behind as she crouched. "Or the limping hills? Massive head trauma bay?"
His lips twitched, but it was difficult to laugh when Fenris was standing so close to him. Maker, that lyrium had _flared _in battle and it had been like Pounce screeching in his head. Justice said he _liked _the sound Lyrium made to him. Maker knew why, it just gave Anders a headache.
"Just me?" she sighed and got to her feet, dusting off her knees. "Forget I said anything."
As they walk out of darktown together (it's early enough that getting to the Wounded Coast won't be a problem before lunch) he sidles next to her. "I thought it was funny," he said softly.
She raises an eyebrow at him. "Let me get this straight," she said. "You thought something I said was _funny?"_
He blinked. "You were making a joke, weren't you?" he felt wrong footed suddenly. Surely he wasn't that far removed from social situations that he misread her?
The grin that flashes makes him sigh in relief. "Of course!" she seemed delighted. "It's just that mostly people groan. Or hit me. Or ignore me completely." She tilted her head on one side. "Father used to laugh, though. Mother says I must have got my sense of humour from him. Maker knows Carver doesn't have one."
"What happened to him?" he asked softly. "Was it Templars?"
She looked sad, but the smile remained. "No. Damned fool got hit by a tree he decided he could log himself. He was tired of the local woodcutter putting him off, and he decided to do it himself."
Anders spluttered. "He tried to chop a tree down?"
"Oh, he managed to get it down all right. Just didn't get out of the way fast enough when it fell."
"Why didn't he use magic?"
She didn't seem to be able to repress her grin. "My father was the most stubborn man who ever existed," she said.
"You sound like you loved him very much," he said, unable to keep the crack of bitterness out of his tone.
"I did," she said softly. "He was a good man, and we had a good life." She snorted then. "Even if Carver doesn't think so."
"I don't think many people would be willing to do what your family did," he said. "And fewer still who'd do it as successfully. Most mages would kill to have someone like your father protecting and teaching them."
"They took you from your family," she said after a short pause.
He suddenly regretted starting the whole conversation. "Yes," he said. His stomach flipped and he felt the edges of his control fray a little - thinking about his family always did that.
"How old were you?"
"Twelve," he said shortly.
"I'm getting the impression you don't want to talk about it," she was grinning again and he felt the surge of anger receding. _She _hadn't done it. _She _wasn't Ser Harley, or Ser William. And she would never have to face a Ser William, not if he had anything to say about it.
The fierceness of his sudden urge to protect her almost left him shaking.
"I'm sorry," he said. "It wasn't pleasant."
"Did they try to keep you?"
He laughed. Short and bitter. "My mother might have wanted to. But my father…" He shook his head, remembering the clink of coins. "Look… talking about this isn't…" he took a deep breath. "Justice isn't used to human emotions. _Any _of them. If I… get…"
He felt her hand on his arm and she stopped. He turned to face her. All trace of humour was gone. "You're crying," she pointed out. Her voice was rough and blunt. He lifted a hand to his face and felt the wetness there, flushing with embarrassment.
"As I was saying," he said, giving her a rueful smile. "Justice isn't used to human emotion. It's… much harder to control than it used to be."
"You speak about him as though he's separate from you," she said.
He shrugged, overwhelmed by the inability to explain. "He was, when I met him. It's hard to talk about what we are when I can remember what both of us _were._"
She looked curious then, but Varric was calling for them to get moving and she patted his arm absently. "I have more questions," she said, smiling slightly. "Hold that thought."
He watched her go ahead of him, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, remembering then the first few weeks of his new existence. On the ship to Kirkwall he'd nearly gone catatonic in the hold when they'd tried to keep him there, paralyzed by the claustrophobia he'd spent years overcoming. In the early days in the refugee camps he'd spent hours clamped around himself trying to stop crying after dreaming of Karl.
He should have thought of it, of course. There were so many things he should have thought of. Justice even _knew _parts of his story, but he'd never _felt _them the way Anders had, he hadn't had to live through it, experience the helplessness. And Kristoff's body had been _dead. _All the regret and gentle longing, the innocent _envy _the spirit had for human emotions had been no way of preparing him for the visceral reality of human feeling, hate and anger and hurt and _lust…_
Maker's breath. He didn't need to be having that thought now. Not when he was walking behind Hawke. Those damned robes of hers were far too body hugging and he couldn't help but imagine what it might be like to rest his hands in the delicious dip between waist and buttock, feel the splay of those hips under his hands _without _the robes, just skin on smooth, warm skin.
His mouth had gone dry. _Not… just _not_ helping, _he thought. There were so many things wrong with where his mind was going. A list would take up all his meagre paper supply. _Warden, apostate, abomination. Not even in that order._
When he finally tore his gaze away he saw the elf, Fenris, looking back at him, big green eyes narrowed.
_Oh wonderful, _he thought. _Let's add jealousy into the mix. That will make things _so _much easier._
He shifted his shoulders and started walking, hoping they'd get to kill more slavers on the Wounded Coast. At least then he could vent some frustration.
_If we had a giant rock to push uphill, _he thought to himself,_ that would perfectly describe my life._
12. Warnings
"Will you… just _stop."_
"Stop what, little brother?" She was polishing her staff - the one that had belonged to father, the one that Carver was always embarrassed by because of the naked lady on the top. Malcolm never carried it in Lothering. He'd kept it hidden away. Saoirse suspected the form at the top was based on her mother's. "Got to keep the Aurum clean, or it sticks on ice spells."
"Not the staff. Sod the _staff. _Stop _looking _at him like that."
She started guiltily. Ok, so her eyes _may _have been resting on Anders'….bits a little more than was _strictly _necessary, but he _was _the warden. If there were darkspawn about he would be the first to know. It was a simple survival tactic. She arranged a look of innocence and eyed her brother. "I didn't mean to step on your parade, Carver," she said. "You know he fancies men? Tends to go for the dark haired ones too, from what I could…"
"Maker's _breath _sister, _I'm _not interested…"
"Really? Because mages can do this grease spell…"
"Stop talking, _now!"_
She smirked, but Carver, surprisingly, didn't leave. She sighed and set the staff aside. "Carver, I'm old enough to look after myself."
"He's an abomination, sister."
"Yes. And I'm a mage. And you're a… whatever it is that you are. What _are _you, Carver?"
"Can you take nothing seriously?"
"When I find something to take seriously, I promise you I will," she said sternly. "But at the moment I'm too busy thinking of all the delightful things a good electricity spell can be used for." She waggled her fingers. "Did you know if you target it at the _very tip _of…"
Carver held up his hands and stood. "Fine. I'm leaving. Mother can't claim I didn't at least _try _to stop you from destroying your life_."_
She caught his hand before he could get away. "Wait, did _mother _put you up to this? Bit of the pot calling the kettle black, surely?"
Carver sighed. "No. I just… I worry about you sister. I don't think you appreciate the danger you are."
She dropped his hand as though it were white hot. "The danger _I _am?"
Carver looked haunted and guilty and she narrowed her eyes at him. "The… look. I can be worried about my own sister, can't I?"
"You just don't want to go to a wedding where the bride and groom can _both _electrocute you," she said, smiling a little. But that little slip of his had hurt, more than she thought it would, from him.
"Ha! No Chantry would perform the service. It would collapse first."
"Who's collapsing chantries?" Anders said, approaching with that damned _smirk _on his face - the one that started all the trouble. _"Oh, I'm sure I could get more creative…" _damn the man. She thanked the maker it was dark, because she knew she was blushing.
"Not me," Carver muttered, stalking away.
"I don't like to speak ill of your relatives…" Anders said as Carver retreated.
"Please, don't. That's something _I _like doing far too much."
"Your mother seems like a nice woman…"
Saoirse grinned and motioned for Anders to sit next to her. "It must be something in the male line then," she said. He settled next to her and poked at the fire. They all stank, but for some reason he didn't smell as bad as the rest of them. Maybe it was the warden thing, or maybe it was because he was a mage and managed to wash a bit with ice spells the way she did, but it wasn't offensive to have him next to her the way it was to have pretty much anyone else in the party closer than a few feet.
"How are you doing?" she asked.
He shrugged. "Just like old times," he said. "Apart from the crushing lyrium headache."
"There's no way you can…" she waved a hand "turn him off?"
He laughed. "I wish there were," he said. "But no. We're blended, you can't turn off part of yourself."
"Huh." She rested her chin on her hand and watched his long fingers hand as they gripped the stick. It was nice, having him next to her like this, but her mind kept circling around what Carver had said.
"Your brother seems particularly grumpy today," Anders said.
"The boy has something permanently wedged up his arse," she said forcefully. Anders cocked an eyebrow and she sighed. "He's been like that ever since we rescued Keran."
"First time he's seen blood magic then?"
"Yes. Bit of a pity, actually. I half hoped he and Merrill might…"
"You'd set your own brother up with a blood mage?"
She shrugged and grinned. "It'd get me off the hook for fancying an abomination," she said.
Anders' face fell and he coughed a little. "Well, he has a point. I'm not a good target for fancying."
She rolled her eyes. "It's not like I've got a lot of options," she said, waving a hand. "Elves who can shove their fists through my chest and hate mages, dwarves who have unhealthy obsessions with crossbows, darkspawn, templars… I really should have stayed in Lothering."
He grinned. "There's always Isabela," he said.
"Oh yes, there's _always _Isabela. Maybe _she'd _deign to tell me exactly how to do that electricity thing."
He waggled his finger. "Now _that _is a trade secret. You'd have to learn it from the source."
"Are you offering?" she raised her eyebrow at him. He raised his hands, frown returning.
"No."
She sighed. "Fine. Well, you get second watch then. As punishment for…"
"Being an abomination?"
"Rejecting me," she shot back, pointing at him. He laughed and got to his feet, heading to his bedroll.
"Bastard," she muttered under her breath.
He wasn't _screaming, _exactly, but she got the impression that wasn't by choice. She'd had nightmares, but never like what he was obviously having. He thrashed from side to side so violently he was in danger of rolling into the fire.
When cracks of blue light appeared on his face she figured _now _would be a good time to wake him - the dwarves and other expedition members probably didn't need to know they were traveling with an abomination.
"Anders," she hissed in his ear, shaking his arm. "Anders, you're dreaming, wake up."
"Late," he mumbled. "Why are they late…?"
"_Anders," _his eyes flew open, brown and wide. She could feel the throb of his pulse under her fingers - he was obviously terrified.
"_Saoirse," _he said, and his hand gripped her arm, hard. "Oh, thank the _Maker." _There was so much feeling in his voice that she almost flinched from it, a level of desperation she'd only heard from people who were incapacitated from fear.
"Bad dream?"
He sat up, groaning and letting her arm go. "Nothing new there," he muttered.
"This warden business seems a bit excessive," she said.
He shrugged. "…wasn't a warden dream."
"You were muttering about someone being late. I'd assumed you weren't talking about the archdemon."
Even in the half light from the lyrium and the dying campfire she saw the violent shudder that wracked him at her words. He hugged his arms around his chest and took deep breath that was almost a sob. She settled back on her heels, unwilling to leave him in this state, unsure of what to do to bring him out of it. "I would pretend to be tactful and distant," she said after a moment, "but I'm way, _way _too curious. How could someone being _late _make you…"
"… gibber with fear?" he said, his voice shaking.
"Yes."
He ran a hand through his hair. "You know, I could explain it to you, but I doubt you'd understand."
"Try me."
"Saoirse it's not that I don't appreciate you trying to be nice to me…"
"Was it something to do with the Tower?" she asked. The firelight glinted off his eyes as he looked up at her, the answer written plain on his face. She nodded. "I thought so. Look - I don't know much about the Tower, but I am a mage - you could probably do with a bit of venting. I vent about Carver to you all the time - you could consider this pay back?"
He looked at her, long and hard. "You can't know how lucky you are not to be captured," he said then, softly. "I wish… I wish my parents had been as…"
She shrugged. "So tell me," she said. "I know you want to."
"They put me in solitary confinement," he said then, his voice hoarse. "For a year. After my sixth escape."
"Solitary?"
The shadow that was his head nodded. "It's not something you could understand - you've never had to… you never _will…" _the cracks of blue started to appear again and she shrank back. "No mage should ever have to go through that. They had no _right." _His voice boomed and she leaned forward and grasped his arm.
"Anders!"
"Unngh…" he bowed his head, squeezing his eyes shut. "Stupid. Stupid of me. Sorry. I shouldn't have…"
"It _will _help, you know. If you talk about it." He shook his head again.
"You should go to sleep. It's close enough to my watch."
She frowned at him, even though she knew he couldn't see it. "My father was in the Tower," she said finally. "He never talked about it. To anyone. I sometimes think he might have been better off if he did."
There was a long silence. She got to her feet, finally, intending to go back to sleep, or attempt to, but his voice cut through the darkness and she stopped.
"Routine is important," he said, and his voice was flat and cold. "When you're alone. The cell had no windows, no natural light, and they bound my hands so I couldn't make any. There's no way to tell what time of day it is. So you have to count the days by when your meals come. Because they don't want you to starve to death, that would defeat the purpose. What they want… what they _need _to happen is for you to be possessed. If you're possessed they can kill you, without betraying chantry law the way the Templars _here_ do all the time."
"You know they're defying Chantry law in Kirkwall?" she said.
His eyes flashed blue for a second. "Karl was _Harrowed. _He'd been Harrowed for fifteen _years. _I could point you to the direct line that prohibits that, if I had the right volume with me."
She nodded. "So, tranquility for you wasn't an option."
"In Ferelden, the Templars still believe. Greagior may be a total prick, but at least he obeys the law. When he _can._ Tranquiling harrowed mages is _not allowed. _Killing mages who haven't shown they're using blood magic is _not allowed. _Lucky for me the Templars at the Tower still cared about that sort of thing._"_
The words were pouring out of him like a torrent, now. Her hands itched - she wanted to hug him, take his hand, do _something… _but she had to be content with sitting across from him, not touching, just… listening.
"So, mealtimes are regular, in the Tower, and they obviously used to feed me just after they fed the rest of the mages. Different food, sure, but there was always enough of it and it always came at the _same time… _until…"
"What?"
"They changed my guard every now and then. It's boring, being the guard on solitary. The sort of thing they do to punish Templars who've done the wrong thing. Go and stand outside Anders' cell. Don't talk to him, if you talk to him we'll punish _you. _He might be possessed. He probably _is. _Give him his meals. Make sure he's not dead. Don't talk to him…
"… they replaced the guard I had the first few months with a bloke I… had a run in with. William, his name was. He was one of the ones who took me from my parents…" she saw him shudder again, and his arms wrapped even tighter around his middle. "Karl warned me about him. I was lucky enough not to have… experienced the things Karl warned me about, but I… suffice to say he wanted to get back at me. So he started messing up the meal times."
She frowned and he made a desperate sound. "See, you don't understand… it's impossible for you to understand. Because you don't know what it's like… to have no frame of reference for time passing - it's the worst kind of madness." He was rocking back and forth now, and she couldn't deny it, she was frightened. For him, _of him_, of what he was telling her, of something she'd never truly been frightened of before. Or at least, frightened enough.
Oh, her father had tried to tell her she needed to be more careful, but she'd never truly listened, because for all the haunted, hunted looks he'd given her he'd never _ever _told her what the circle was actually _like_.
Anders was right, she had no idea why or how it could be so terrifying for him. But she could see that it _was. _And she could see he needed to talk about it, and so she shoved her bedroll next to his and they sat in the almost darkness, talking, well past her watch, and his, and by the end of it, when she finally fell asleep, she dreamed of a lonely and desperate man and his deal with a spirit that had begun to make a whole new kind of sense to her.
_At least now he's never alone, _she thought, when she woke the next morning, or whatever time it was down here (_no wonder he's having flashbacks) _to see him sleeping peacefully next to her, strands of blond hair loose across his face.
"Maker's breath, sister, please tell me you've still got all your clothes on."
Anders' eyes flew open and met hers and she smirked, trying to make it as dirty as she possibly could, and was rewarded with a blush. "Honestly Carver," she said, pushing herself up to reveal that she still had her robes on, as did Anders. "If you think you have to take your clothes off to have sex you really _haven't _been going to the Rose often enough."
When they were on their way again, she felt an arm on her shoulder and looked back to see Anders.
"Thank you," he said simply. She smiled at him and squeezed his hand, gloved fingers lingering for a few seconds before he let go.
Something loosened in her chest, then, as she watched him walk ahead of her. _Truce for now, Anders, _she thought.
For now.
* * *
><p><em>Ok, I'll admit I'm completely obsessed. Go to wikipedia and look up Solitary Confinement.<em>
_If you read the articles that are cited in the footnotes (and I have been spending a lot of time doing this - my dragon age obsession has finally pushed me into doing serious research about an issue) you'll learn a lot about the hideousness of solitary confinement. I have Anders suffering from a type of Chronophobia or Prison Psychosis. On top of everything else the poor bastard has been through, really his actions at the end of DA2 are kind of understandable. His paranoia and lack of social restraint can also be partly attributed to the side effects of his solitary confinement. Really, they didn't need to do anything else to him to make him the way he is. This radio interview is particularly heart-wrenching, if you have half an hour to spare._
13. Balance
"Maybe we should leave," she reached out to touch his shoulder, but dropped her hand as he jerked away.
"No. I don't want you comforting me," Fenris snarled. Her eyes narrowed and she looked over at Anders, whose knuckles were white on his staff. "You saw what was done here. There's always going to be some reason, some excuse why mages have to do this. Even if I found my sister, who knows what the magisters have done to her? What does magic touch that it doesn't spoil?" She drew in a sharp breath, surprised at how much that hurt. It wasn't as though she expected anything more than that from Fenris.
The elf's green eyes were fixed on her. She raised an eyebrow at him but didn't bother to respond. If he was going to start the tired argument again, she at least had Anders here to back her up. But Fenris seemed to know when he didn't need to press his point and he simply shrugged. "I need to go," he said.
_Yes. You do, _she thought. He was big enough to look after himself on the way back to Kirkwall. Anders and Isabela watched him leave, Isabela looking concerned.
"Hawke, you're not going to go after him?"
She snorted. "Why bother? He might get it into his head to _magically fist me_ if I tried. Didn't you hear him? Magic spoils everything."
"He didn't mean _you."_
"Really?" Anders had planted his staff and was gripping it, surveying the room. She was angry with _him _as well, although the reasons for _that _anger were entirely caught up in nights spent in his clinic _not _naked and almost kisses and touches that drove her increasingly mad with desire and kept her awake at night. Seeing him angry was never good for her equilibrium. He was _sexy _when he was pissed. "He's little more than a dog off his leash," Anders continued. "I'm surprised we all have our hearts still in our chests."
Isabela rolled her eyes. "Anders you _need _a drink, I don't care what Justice says."
"Your glowing friend needs to get the broomstick unwedged from his arse," Anders said through gritted teeth.
Isabela huffed and threw her hands in the air. "Mages!" she said.
Saoirse bared her teeth at her. "Pirates!" she shot back, then softened. "Don't worry about Fenris, Isabela, he's perfectly capable of brooding anyone to death who bothers him on the way home."
"You really don't like him do you?"
"No, Isabela. He thinks I should be locked up. Would you like someone who thought that about you?"
Isabela considered it. "No," the pirate's eyes gleamed with mischief then. "But he _smolders," _she said, grinning.
Saoirse looked at her. Then she looked at Anders, who was tight lipped. _Fucking men, _she thought.
"Let's get back."
O~O~O
He had been uncharitable. He knew that. And rude, and offensive, and all the things he knew he was always with Hawke, but_ this_ time he felt more guilty about it. Perhaps because she'd asked him not to kill her.
If she'd _known _exactly what Hadriana had been like, perhaps…
…but _no._ It was simply unfair. In the end, he'd taken his aggression out on the wrong person, and he needed her on _his _side. He needed her power, her influence…
…her presence.
He needed to apologise.
The dwarf let him in. "The mistress isn't home yet, Ser, but you can wait in the lobby. I'll have Sandal make you a refreshment?"
"I need nothing," Fenris snapped. He sat on the bench and rested his head in his hands. Why wasn't she back? Perhaps he should have tried the Hanged Man… but he didn't want to be doing this in front of everyone, he needed to see _her _alone, he needed to make certain he could count on her if…. _when _Danarius returned.
_Mages. Always mages._
She was home late, smelling of alcohol _how can she be so careless with the power she wields _and tired faced. When she saw him, however, she stopped dead. Her cheeks were beautifully flushed in the half light, her hazel eyes bright. The deep fire of her hair made his hands twitch - to stroke it or yank it he wasn't certain.
His body stirred in ways he wasn't sure how to deal with.
"Fenris," she said, her voice flat.
"I've been thinking about what happened with Hadriana," he said, standing and moving towards her. She was wary, putting her hand on her staff and stepping back. He sighed. It seemed he had done more to damage her trust than he thought.
_Or the abomination has more sway over her than you do._
He shook his head. "You and I don't always see eye to eye," he said, trying for diplomacy. "But that doesn't mean you deserved my anger. I owe you an apology."
She took her hand from her staff, but the wariness didn't leave her eyes. "I had no idea where you went," she said shortly. "I was… concerned."
She didn't sound like she was.
"I needed to be alone," he said. She raised an eyebrow. He tried to explain, why Hadriana's death had been important, but she sneered at him.
"Admit it," she said finally. "You just wanted to kill her."
"And what would you have me do? Hadriana came after ME, I never had the option to simply walk away. Am I supposed to forgive, no matter how many times they hunt me down? Am I supposed to forget all the things they've done to me?"
She rubbed her forehead with her hand. "Fenris, it's late, and I'm drunk, and I appreciate that you're trying to apologise to me, but it's not necessary. Truly."
He grunted in frustration. This wasn't working. She was looking at him, her lips pressed together in anger - or something. It was confusing. He hadn't seen her angry often. Usually when someone she cared for was threatened. Carver. The abomination. Isabela.
He'd never seen her look that way for him.
"You may not wear chains any more, but you're not free."
Her tone infuriated him. That she could so blithely say things - directed at the very core of who he was, without any thought of how it made him feel… "You know _nothing_ of being a slave!"
She snarled at him. "Don't I?"
"No, you do _not."_
"Would you say the same to Anders if he were here?"
"Circle mages are _not _slaves."
"Aren't they?"
"No. There is a world of difference between me and… and _him…"_
"Oh, yes. An entire world Fenris." She turned her back on him, and he was infuriated again… why was it that she could do so much to him with a few simple words?
He watched her back for a few moments. It was important, this. He had to remind himself why he was here. Hawke was the ally he needed against Danarius. She - despite her magic - _because _of it - was the person most likely to make sure he survived. Make sure he was _free. _
"It's like a sickness," he heard himself say, "this hate… this dark growth inside of me I can't ever get rid of, and_ they_ put it there." Her expression hadn't changed. He wasn't getting through to her. "This isn't why I came here." It was pointless. He turned to go, but felt a hand on his arm. The sensation cut through his brain like sword. No pain… there was _no pain, _but there _should have been. _
"So you're just going to leave?" the _contempt _in her voice… _that _was what hurt. Not the touch itself…
He grabbed her hand, without thinking, and suddenly he was against the wall and she was pressed against him… no… _he _was pressed against her and the blue light from his tattoos made the pools of her eyes shadows of…
…._need…_
She wasn't wearing her normal armour. She was soft. And pliable. And _fragile. _If he wanted, he could kill her, with a simple flick of his wrist against her pale throat, or he could plunge his fist through her chest, and touch her heart… pull it out… but right now, right _now _all he could think of was how her breath was heaving against him, how he could feel, even through the chestplate of his armour, the soft press of her breasts…
He had _power _over her in this minute. Her eyes were wide and the pupils were dilated. Her lips, soft and red and moist, parted over her white, white teeth…
She was a _mage _and he _hated her._
She was a _mage _and he _wanted… _what he wanted was _power _over her. But what it felt like….
She was panting, an animalistic sound. He ground his hands into her wrists, the light of his tattoos seeping into her skin.
In the end, he was grateful she was the one who lunged forward. When her lips touched his, he could forget she was a mage, for a moment at least. He could _feel _without pain. When she exerted her not inconsiderable strength and pushed him back against the wall, he let himself be carried away by the sensations. When she broke away, he blinked, his hands still tight around her wrists, not willing to let go.
"What?"
"Upstairs," she said, breathless. "Now."
He wasn't certain how he managed to divest himself of his armour, but he was naked quickly, a touch of shame flushing his skin as he remembered nights in Minrathous where his master had ordered him to strip to examine the progress of his markings, to inflame them - use them to fuel his magics. But Hawke was naked too, and his eyes traveled over the cream expanse of her skin - the tanline at her neck where her high-collared robe protected her from the sun, the freckles that dusted her shoulders and arms, her long, long limbs.
Desire was alien to him. He hadn't felt the full force of it - couldn't _remember_ feeling the full force of it until this moment, here, _now. _The growl he let out made her eyes widen in something akin to fear.
_Good, _he thought. _Let her be afraid… _but she didn't push him away or say no when he backed her to the bed, didn't object, only let out groans and gasps of pleasure as he licked and bit his way over her body, touching as much as he could.
There was a flare of power suddenly and he pulled back a little, looking into her face. She blinked muzzily up at him and he bared his teeth.
"You would use magic?_ Now?"_
She shook her head… "I didn't… it wasn't…"
"You have no _control _over your power?" he spat out, pinning her body with his so she couldn't move, could barely breathe. Her eyes narrowed, however. The power flared blue for a moment and he felt a stab of electricity to his arms where she gripped them in her hands.
"Shut up," she said, grinding her hips upwards, making him groan. "And fuck me."
He complied.
As he buried himself in her, something stirred in the back of his mind. Images started to swirl, of a girl, a place… a _feeling… _each thrust brought up a different memory and Fenris found his cries matching those of the woman beneath him - pulled from frustration and anger as well as overwhelming, consuming pleasure. When his climax took him he shouted his fierce joy and collapsed on her, panting, his tattoos flaring. The memories - so bright and real, burned into his mind for a few glorious seconds and he was _no longer _Fenris he was… he was…
He pulled back and out of her, snarling in frustration. "What did you _do?" _he growled.
She rubbed at her wrists, still panting, cheeks flushed. "What do you mean?"
He stared at her for a few moments, the aftermath of pleasure still burning through him, but the memories… the _memories were gone. _He almost howled.
"I… "
She pushed herself up on the bed, his seed still leaking from her, her body bearing marks and bruises from their lovemaking. He knew his own bore similar marks - she had been anything but gentle, but seeing how he had marked _her_… it should have made him feel powerful. It should have _helped…. _but all he felt was guilt.
"This was a mistake," he said. She folded her arms across her breasts and glared at him.
"Fuck you, Fenris," she said, quite mildly, all things considered.
He gave a desperate laugh and started gathering his things, pulling on his armour, his movements sharp and jerky and full of pain.
"I'm sorry," he said, when he was dressed. She hadn't moved, but she'd called forth healing magic. The bites and bruises were fading.
"Just go," she said softly, pulling the sheets up around her and lying back. "You know the way."
"Hawke… I…"
"Please. You've done enough."
He looked at her helplessly, but she turned her face into the pillow.
He left.
14. Aftermath
Saoirse was pacing in the courtyard. Something was wrong, more than usual, he could tell by the tense set of her shoulders. He told himself that was why he was studying her, rather than the way the light caught the waves of bright hair falling over her neck and escaping in wisps around her forehead. Or the dark gleam of _something _in her eyes when she looked at him.
"We might have to cancel," she said, cursing. "I don't want to go up to Sundermount without a swordsman and Aveline... warned me she might be too busy with the guards today..."
"Too busy with that dark haired Donnic, more like," Isabela said, from where she lounged against the wall of the Hawke estate. "He has _pretty _hair."
Aveline's love life was a constant source of amusement for Isabela these days. At least Donnic wasn't a Templar, like her previous husband had been. Anders _liked _Aveline, but she was far too militant and thinking about her with a Templar made his brain follow unpleasant paths.
"Why do we need lady man-arms, any way?" Isabela was saying. "I can…"
Saoirse shot her a fond but exasperated look. "After the last time Anders had to patch you up I'm not letting you take point alone, Bela," she said.
Isabela's smile got wider. "Oh, but I was hoping he would," she purred. "Getting touched by those hands is almost worth the sword rips in my shirt."
Anders rolled his eyes.
Isabela straightened, with her smirk still in place. "I thought broody and glowy was coming with us?"
Saoirse bit her lip and looked down. "I don't…."
_After the shitfight that was yesterday Isabela? _Anders thought_._ "I doubt whether Fenris…"
"Doubt whether Fenris what, mage?" The elf sounded even more broody than usual, and Anders turned to see him glowering directly behind him.
He bared his teeth in what was supposed to be a smile. "I didn't think you'd be joining us after…" _ripping that woman's heart out of her chest and having a screaming fight with the woman you agreed aid..._
"I gave my word to help Hawke, mage," Fenris growled, pushing past him to where Saoirse stood. Anders turned in time to see her flinch as Fenris approached.
Saoirse flinching? The woman faced down giant spiders with a smile and a quip.
…_What?_
"Well, if you think you're up to it," she said, but her voice lacked its usually cocky authority and the heat of a blush touched her skin.
_What's going on?_
* * *
><p>"Anders, Fenris is down!" Isabela's voice cut through the haze of magic and lyrium and he glanced down to see the elf was indeed, prone, and bleeding from his chest. The armour had been severely dented by a mace and the elf was in danger of being suffocated by the very thing that was meant to protect him. Blinking, he threw a forcefield around the elf and concentrated on killing the rest of the skeletons briefly wondering why <em>was <em>Sundermount such a haven for the undead? they couldn't _all _be because of Merrill, the girl had been in the Alienage for three years...
The final skeleton was reduced to dust by a blast of force magic from Saoirse, who immediately came up to him. "Fenris?"
"Let me work," he said, making his way to the elf's side. "You're nearly out of mana and Isabela's been cut on the leg. Go heal her, I'll deal with him."
She squeezed his arm briefly then turned to go.
Anders dispelled the forcefield surround the elf and started to work on the buckles of his armour. He'd only undone one, however, when he felt a strong hand grab his.
"What are you doing…mage…" Fenris' voice was raspy and bubbled ominously.
He pulled his hand free, more easily than he should have been able, given the elf's unnatural strength. It was obvious he was weakening fast. "Saving your life, you arrogant sod," he muttered, unbuckling the other side of the breasplate. "You stupid arse, why don't you wear a shirt under this? Want to freeze to death?"
"Is there a purpose to your babbling?"
Anders grunted and called forth magic as he pulled the dented plate away from Fenris' skin. As he'd feared, there was a broken rib in danger of piercing the elf's lung. "You need to stop talking if you don't want to drown in your own blood," he said clinically.
The elf gritted his teeth as Anders worked, using magic to remove the bone and start repairing the lung tissue. It was a painful injury, but the elf made no further sounds as Anders flooded him with magic. The lyrium in his tattoos flared with the power he was pouring into him and Anders gritted his own teeth as the screech of Justice's _song _washed over him, the two sides of his nature simultaneously yearning towards it and wanting to shut it out. When he was satisfied the lung was repaired, Anders swept his eyes over the elf's bare torso, looking for anything he might have missed now that the major injury was dealt with.
Scratch marks on his upper arms. A perfectly defined bite mark at the junction of his neck and shoulder. He pulled his hands back to see the elf's green eyes were fixed on him expression challenging him to ask...
Those injuries _weren't _from the battle.
Anders felt his lips curl in an amused grin. "Did we visit the Blooming Rose last night, Fenris?"
The elf blinked, as though he hadn't understood the question.
Anders' grin widened. "You know, the _brothel. _I hear Jethann is quite skilled with his..."
"It's none of your business, mage," Fenris snapped out. Anders chuckled and reached out a finger to touch the bite mark on his neck. Fenris swatted his hand away with enough force to bruise. Anders cocked an eyebrow and sat back on his heels.
"Nothing like lying in the arms of a skilled whore to wash the memory of _murder…"_
Fenris' hand was around Anders' throat faster than Anders had ever seen _anyone _move and he was suddenly pinned under the elf's weight. He was far heavier than he looked. Either he was _all _dense muscle or the lyrium actually weighed him down.
"Shut up or I'll kill you right here, mage," Fenris growled.
"Don't… know… why you're so… grumpy," Anders managed to choke out, even though his survival instincts were kicking him and telling him to _stop niggling at the elf trying to kill you… _"We all have… needs…"
Fenris' tattoos flared blue and Anders was certain he was about to die. _Where are you when I'm in danger these days? _he asked Justice, not expecting a reply from the spirit. He had goaded the elf after all, his former friend probably thought being nearly throttled was all he _deserved._
Also, he didn't think Saoirse would let Fenris kill him - and Justice, who he often forgot could be almost charmingly naive, _knew _she wouldn't.
…provided Saoirse could see what he was doing.
"Fenris! What the fuck?" Her voice was even more beautiful than usual, her pale hand grabbing Fenris' shoulder and pulling him back from Anders. He saw stars as oxygen rushed back to his brain and he sat up, coughing.
"Andraste's arse, just because he's embarrassed about seeing _whores_ doesn't mean he gets to _choke _me to death," he muttered, glaring at the elf…
…Who was looking at Saoirse with a desperate expression. Anders looked back to Saoirse, who had flushed as red as her hair and was looking at the ground.
_Fuck._
"…I get the sense I probably shouldn't have said that," he said softly from the ground, before the hurt jumped up and started to strangle him from the inside, far more effectively than Fenris had.
"Well now. Isn't this _delicious," _Isabela drawled.
Fenris snarled and turned on the rogue, who stepped back, laughing. Saoirse dropped her face into her hands, shoulders shaking for a few moments, then walked away.
_Fuckety fuck._
He got to his feet, wheezing, and followed after her, not listening to Isabela teasing the elf or Fenris' growled answers as he attempted to beat out his chestplate enough to put back on. Saoirse had turned a corner (on the way back _down _the mountain, thank the Maker, she was sensible enough not to continue into another nest of walking corpses or giant spiders when she stormed away) and was sitting on a flat rock, overlooking the tiny figures of Merrill's clan below them.
_She slept with him._
"Saoirse?" He remembered her words yesterday, the sneer in her voice. _Didn't you hear him? Magic spoils everything!_
_How did she get from _that _to _sleeping _with him?_
"Are you all right?"
She snorted. "What do _you _think, Anders?" her voice was choked with tears.
Another possibility occurred to him and he felt Justice squirm and almost break free at the disgusting, brief moment of hope that it was true. It _wasn't _she would have _killed him _rather than let him any where near them or the work they were doing...
"I don't know what to think," he said, surprised at his own honesty. "I just… didn't think you and he were…"
"Fuck, we're _not," _she shuddered and turned to face him, her eyes and nose red. She sniffed indignantly. "_Maker_, we're not."
_Sweet Andraste, thank you. _He thought, but at the same time he was thinking: _Hypocrite. It's none of your business, Anders, why do you care who she sleeps with she could be fucking the Knight Commander and it wouldn't be…_
Oh that coil of hurt was winding tighter and tighter with every thought that crossed his mind.
She got to her feet suddenly, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand and stalking back towards Fenris and Isabela. Anders stood for a moment, helplessly, then followed her.
They got to the top of Sundermount, collected the herbs he needed - he'd forgotten what was so sodding urgent about them now - and then made their way back to Kirkwall. She left them all at the gates without a word and Anders watched her helplessly before turning back to Isabela and Fenris. Fenris growled at him and stalked a way awkwardly (he'd managed to make enough repairs on the breastplate for it to be wearable, but it must have been uncomfortable) but Isabela just stood there, smirking at him.
"What?"
"You know, jealousy suits Fenris. It just looks sad and pathetic on you."
He clenched his teeth. "That's because it is," he said shortly. _Sad and pathetic and useless, because why be jealous of something he destroyed even before it had the chance to begin? _
"Oh, Anders, don't sell yourself short. She only slept with him because you won't. A woman has _needs _you know."
"Isabela, please stop talking and never say anything again _ever."_
"Cheerio," she waved a few fingers at him and wandered off towards the Hanged Man. Anders rubbed his eyes and turned towards his clinic.
He buried himself in broken limbs and bruises for the rest of the day and one particularly nasty case of consumption that he wouldn't be able to completely cure - only treat, which made his chest ache - he didn't know how long he'd be able to stay in darktown, every day the Templars thought he was more useful here than in the gallows could be his last, and once he was gone the boy would undoubtably die.
He closed the doors and extinguished the lamps but for the one over his desk and sat at it, cradling his head in his hands and trying to ignore the raging hurt in his chest.
He'd been trying to get his thoughts in order - to write down all the truths that were self-evident to him about the mages' plight, but tonight all he could think of was Saoirse and _Fenris _and no matter Justice's prodding nothing could make him pick up his quill or his inks or attempt to sort out the mess that was what he was jokingly beginning to refer to as his "manifesto"…
"Anders?"
He was imagining her voice. It happened sometimes. But then he felt a hand touch his arm tentatively and he turned to see her standing there. "What are you doing here?" he meant it to come out harsh, but it came out fond, and eager, and… _apologetic. _
"I wanted to see you. I… just…" she grimaced, and looked down. "I didn't want you to go away thinking that the thing with Fenris was… "
"Saoirse it's none of my business," he said softly, looking at the ground.
There was a silence, and it went on so long he began to think she might have gone, but when he looked up she was still standing there, biting her lip and _Maker's Breath _there were tears running down her cheeks. He made a strangled sound in the back of his throat. All he wanted was to hold her now... well, not _all _he wanted, but it was the main thing but how could he do that without...
He was there without realising how and gathered her into an embrace, pulling her close against his chest and stroking her hair. Some things were necessary. Some things were _... just._
"Maker I hate myself right now," he heard her say, muffled by his coat and their closeness.
"Don't say that. It wasn't your fault." He didn't even know what he meant, but the words were automatic, coming from some place where people store meaningless comfort.
She laughed, and her arms tightened around him. "No, it was my fault. Stupid, sodding hormones. I _hate_ the man, Anders."
She pulled back and blinked up at him, but he found he couldn't bring himself to let her go. "He does have pretty eyes though," he said, smiling slightly.
She sniffed and used one hand to wipe her nose. The other, he couldn't help but notice, stayed firmly hooked around his waist and he desperately needed to remove it before her effect on him became painfully obvious.
He let it stay.
"Pretty eyes that _hate mages," _she said, halfway between a laugh and a sob. "How could I have done something like that with someone who_…" _she shook her head and her hand slipped away from his waist. He tried not to notice that he could still feel exactly where her fingers had been resting, five sharp, bright points of heat.
He let his own arms drop. "I'm probably not the person you should be talking to."
"I know why any way," she shot him a look that was part amused and part angry. _"Hormones. _And pretty eyes. And…" her eyes narrowed. "Oh fuck it. And _you _you sodding arsehole."
He opened his mouth and then shut it. She started to pace, avoiding his eyes. "Three years," she said. "Three sodding years, and there have been warnings, and almosts and maybes and… " she pointed at him. "It's not just _me _who wants this you can't deny it…"
"Saoirse…"
She approached him, hips swaying, possibly no more than usual, but he found he couldn't tear his eyes away and he was backing against his desk as though she were a genlock and there was a solid _crash _as his hip hit the side of it and he was _certain _his inkwell had spilled and ink was _expensive_...
"This is a warning, Anders," she said, once she was close enough for him to feel her breath. She didn't touch him, but he could feel the heat rolling off her like a fever and his heart was hammering at his ribs like it wanted to escape and Justice was shouting in his head that she was a _threat _and he was having to fight to control the spirit's urge to _protect..._
"A warning?" he squeaked out.
She lifted a hand and cupped his cheek, letting her thumb run along his chin with a rasp that was audible, together with the heaving of his breath and the thumping of his heart. She leaned up and kissed him, gently, on his cheek. "I'm not holding back any more," she said softly, into his ear. "Let's see how long you last."
She turned, then, and walked out and he was left squashed against his desk with a confused spirit in his head and a raging erection in his pants.
_Sweet. Holy. Maker._
15. Ebb
He can hear her voice. Even through everything, the rage, the pain, the _injustice, _he can hear her. "She's the reason you're fighting Anders!" it's high and urgent and all he wants is to kill but something stops him, the figure crouched in front of him _isn't _a Templar, and he was going to…
"Maker, no!" he breathes, sinking to the ground and clutching at his head. "I almost…" he looks up into Saoirse's face, which is _not afraid…_
…_how can she not be afraid…_
Just concerned. "If you hadn't been here… I need to get away from here…"
He ran. Faster than he'd run in years. By the time he got to darktown he was gasping for breath, sweating even though it was the middle of winter. He ignored the patients waiting at the closed door of his clinic, even as the back of his brain catalogued them to be certain none were urgent, none required immediate attention, and shut the door on them for the first time since he'd lit the lantern four years ago. He barrelled into a cot, curling in on himself and gripping his head with both hands.
_How could you do this? How can you be so far removed from the man… the spirit you were? Am I that much of a fiend, that far removed from everything that is human? Have I corrupted you so much…_
There was no answer. Of course there was no answer. Justice was him, he was Justice and he couldn't ask _himself _why…
_It's me, it's all me and I'll never control it and I'll kill the people I love and WHY WAS SHE NOT AFRAID…?_
He needed to get out. Out of Kirkwall. Away from her before he hurt her - before he killed someone else he was trying to save. He could… he could go to his Calling - fight the darkspawn until they killed him and hope Justice didn't stay trapped in his walking corpse… something roiled and fought against that thought so vehemently that he nearly retched. Not dead, then. Alive. There were other cities that needed healers… but what if…
_Maker I can't be near _any _people…what if I have a delusion of a patient as a templar? What if I have a patient who IS a templar? _
One thing was certain. He had to get away from _her. _No matter what else, if this caused him to hurt Hawke he wouldn't be able to live with himself, no matter how disgusting the thought of taking his own life was to him now.
He dragged the big wooden chest that held Spellfury out from under his cot and into the main clinic, throwing it open and sorting through what he would need.
"Throwing everything out won't make you feel better," her voice was soft and sardonic, from the doorway. He almost laughed. Of course she'd followed him.
"_Should _I feel better?" he said, stopping and turning, standing up slowly. His hands were shaking and his heart was thumping painfully against his chest.
"You could wallow is self pity for the rest of your life if you prefer. Personally I think that might get boring after a while."
_Maker's Breath, that smirk, how can she be _joking! "It's all gone wrong. Justice and I. We're just a monster." He shook his head, seeing again the terrified face of the girl. One moment more, one _moment _and he would have plunged his staff through her chest.
And for what? A paranoid delusion… she'd been a _victim _and he would have _slaughtered _her.
She folded her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow at him. "So you're just giving up?"
"You saw what happened. If you hadn't been there I would have…"
"You were out of control," she said bluntly. He winced, looking back down at his hands. "But even then…" he looked up to see her eyes soften. "Even _then _you heard what I was saying, Anders. You controlled yourself. She's alive. She's free of the circle and the Templars. Thanks to you."
"But I almost…."
"Almost being the operative word here, Anders. You stopped yourself."
"No. _You _stopped me."
She sighed and looked away. "From what you told me, even that wouldn't have been possible not long ago. Can we focus on the positives here? Because otherwise we may as well just… jump off a cliff or something."
"There are positives? Forgive me if I'm having trouble locating them."
She crossed the distance between them in one stride and grabbed his chin, pulling his face close to her. He froze, terrified if he moved he'd somehow alert Justice and she'd be seen as a _threat. _
"I will _not _let you lose yourself, Anders. That's a promise."
"I lost… _we_ lost ourselves four years ago, Saoirse," he said softly. "The person… _people_ you're trying to save don't exist any more."
"I don't give a shit who you _were _Anders. I care who you are _now. _And that person is still here and _that _person is worth a lot more than the crap you're putting him through." Her strong fingers shook his chin, then let it go and trailed her thumb across his lips, so slowly and gently that he could barely believe it was happening. Instinct was telling him to open his mouth, take the finger in it and suck, brush that lock of bright hair away from her neck and cup it, pull her forward…
… they would kiss and it would be gentle, and slow and it would wash away the fear and the uncertainty and he would be allowed to just _feel _and _taste _and _touch…_ the images unfolded in his mind the way they had been doing with alarming regularity since she laid down her challenge but he had _almost killed _and she was a _dangerous distraction _and he _had to get away… _
He couldn't pull back. It was taking all of his willpower to stop himself from kissing her. "Did you… uh… find anything on Ser Alrik? Or was the tranquil solution another one of my paranoid delusions?"
She looked pained. "It existed. But it was Alrik's. No one else's." She dropped her hand and reached into one of the many pouches on her belt, taking out a letter and handing it to him. He took it, somewhat desperately, and scanned the words.
"The Grand Cleric… _rejected…_the Divine… _rejected…" _Justice stirred. It was not what he'd expected. Not what either of them had expected. That they still had this much humanity in them… that they were _capable _of seeing mages as more than a problem to be dealt with... "Perhaps the Grand Cleric is more reasonable than I thought." He tapped the paper against his lips, desire forgotten as his mind ticked over. He could talk to her. He could _reason _with her… If he could get his thoughts in order and make some sort of argument that would convince…
Saoirse was still standing there, watching him. Her pained expression had turned wistful and he felt a momentary rush of guilt, that the game they were playing had paled into insignificance at her news and the old Anders _mourned _at the lost opportunity.
She was a _distraction._
She was _not afraid._
She was a symbol of how mages could be free and he was a dangerous abomination.
Something cracked. A decision was made without any conscious thought. Somewhere between _I need to get away from here _and _she's the one bright light in this Maker-forsaken place _his mind had asked the question. _Please. Can I have this one thing for myself? _
The answer, when it came, was so clear it startled him. He thought he could even hear the voice of his old friend, a hint of disapproval, coloured with fond exasperation nonetheless.
_Yes._
"Tha..Thank you," he managed to choke out, and it was a thank you not just to her. "You've given me a lot to think about."
She smiled then, a little quirk of her lips that he ached to kiss, and glanced down at his trunk. "Not leaving then?"
He frowned. "I could have killed her," he said softly. "But you weren't afraid. Why weren't you afraid?"
"I knew you wouldn't."
"_How?"_
She stepped forward again and laid her hand on his cheek, gently this time. "You're not that person, Anders." He blinked as she stood on her tiptoes to lay a kiss on the other cheek, her other hand resting on his chest. His arm came around her waist and he could have acted on his decision, right there and then, could have… but it wasn't the right time, not with the letter in his hand. Justice was cowed and guilty and afraid and his relenting permission could be withdrawn at any moment… he had to be certain this was something he was _allowed…_
Instead he let himself breathe in her scent and closed his eyes, before stepping back. "I have patients," he said, his voice husky.
"You do. I could deal with them if you like?"
"No. No I should get back to it. You go. I'll see you soon." She cocked an eyebrow at him. "I promise. Soon. Just… give me a couple of days. To think?"
She smirked then. "Think?"
He rolled his eyes. "Yes. It's that thing you do with your brain. Remember?"
She laughed, then reached up and tweaked his nose. "I'm coming back to check on you. And I'll have Varric watch you too. If you try to leave I'm going to hunt you and I _will _find you. Even without a sodding phylactery."
He grinned at her. She watched him for a moment, her eyes searching his. He tried not to give himself away, tried to keep the distance between them that he'd worked so long to keep, but he suspected he wasn't succeeding when he saw the heat of a blush touch her cheek and a slight smile touch her lips. "Goodbye, Saoirse," he said softly, and she turned and left.
16. Corrupted
"If you keep doing that we'll end up with _nothing_ to show for on this sodding expedition, sister," Carver was whining again. Seriously, the boy only had _one_ tone of voice. She'd been poking around a few shattered chests, trying to get Varric to teach her how to pick a lock properly, but Varric wouldn't let her touch his lockpicks. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Anders had offered a complete set to her to practice with, but then Varric had eyed them and the two had waxed lyrical about who made the best (dwarves, according to Varric, some Merchant in Amaranthine, according to Anders) and she'd ended up just fireballing the damned chests.
"Now whatever was in them will be useless…"
She shrugged. "They're ancient. Anything that would have been destroyed by my _tiny, controlled _fireball would have been useless to us anyway."
"Um… we should probably get moving," Anders looked uneasy and she glanced at him curiously from where she was sorting through the smoking remains of what had been in the chest.
"Darkspawn?" she said.
He shook his head, glancing up at the roof of the cavern. "No, but I don't like look of the roof. Makes me think of…."
The skittering sound that followed after his sentence trailed away was precisely modulated to make her flesh creep.
She caught Carver's eye. He was reaching back to his sword, looking alert and wary. "… spiders," she finished for him.
"Sweet holy mother of Andraste," Varric breathed as he looked up. "That thing's as big as a Chantry."
She cast around for somewhere to run before the enormous spider dropped down on them. More chittering noises started up and she suddenly had an inkling of exactly _what _Fenris had felt that one time on Sundermount…. but there wasn't time… "Quickly, up here!" She shouted, and grabbed Anders arm to start pulling them towards the small doorway she'd spotted. It was locked. "Vaaarric!" the dwarf shoved her aside and started to work. Carver and Anders flanked her as the monstrous thing lowered itself to the ground, slowly, gracefully. It settled, it's grotesque body almost resting on the floor of the cabin, its hairy legs poking up higher than the roof of their house in Lothering. She knew there were others, but her eyes refused to be drawn away from the faceted eyes and fangs of the monster in front of her.
"Right. Well. I'm never sleeping again," she said. "Please tell me you've opened that door, Varric?"
"I can talk or work, Hawke," Varric's voice was dry and calm and Saoirse itched to hit him, but that would slow down the lockpicking and involve taking her eyes off the spider. For some reason she felt that if she did _that _they'd all be dead.
"Ice the ground," Anders said. "Under its legs. They have lots, it's hard for them to keep their balance on ice."
She nodded and hefted her father's staff, aiming it for the ground under the enormous spiders' legs. Anders had been right. Without purchase the spider was slowed considerably, although it didn't slide the way she'd hoped. She cast a gravitic ring to slow it even further and Anders hit the nearest cluster of smaller spiders with lightning.
They were too quick though. One of the smaller ones reared up and got a face full of Carver's sword. There was a sickening crunch and a spurt of ichor as her brother wrenched the blade free, and the spider reared back. Saoirse realised suddenly that they couldn't scream - the eerie silence of the creature as it pulled back, obviously in pain, made her want to retch suddenly.
"_There _we go!" Varric shouted, and the door tumbled open. Anders and Varric fell in first, scrambling backwards, and Carver followed.
"Saoirse hurry _up!" _Anders shouted. She ignored him and focused on casting a firestorm, blocking the doorway with her body. Just as the spell was released the closest spider managed to sink a fang into her arm, but Carver yanked her bodily through the narrow doorway and Varric slammed it shut.
"Ow," she said, looking at the puncture wound in her arm. "Ow, ow, ow."
"Blondie, you should have a look at her," Varric said. Saoirse felt faint and slid down the wall, wondering, suddenly, why everyone was red. They could hear the cracking, popping and whooshing of her firestorm burning on the other side of the door, but she was lightheaded.
"Poison," she said distinctly. "Venom? Stuff spiders do. Hurts."
"_Anders, _my sister…"
"Don't worry Carver, I've got it…" she called forth healing but a hand slapped hers away.
"Don't be stupid," Anders' voice was tight with… something, and his face, bathed in that odd red light, was twisted in what looked like pain.
"Hey, just a spider. No need to worry…" she trailed off as the first wave of his healing magic hit her and she gasped in mingled pleasure and pain.
"I have to… drain the… venom…" his voice was stilted, but she felt her head clearing as the magic continued to work. Anders was gritting his teeth and she was shocked to suddenly see blue cracks appearing on his hands.
"Anders?"
"Blondie… what's going on?"
She heard Carver draw his sword. "Carver, for fuck's sake, he's _healing _me," she managed to gasp out.
"Oh yeah, why's his _guest _coming out then?"
"Just… a minute… " Anders' breath was coming in laboured gasps as he worked, sweat running down his face. Blue cracks kept appearing and disappearing.
"What's _wrong _Blondie?" Varric said. She wanted to pull her arm away, but his grip was iron and the magic didn't falter until the puncture wound was closed. As soon as it was, however, he dropped it like it burned him and _skittered _to the middle of the room, clutching at his head and groaning.
She had a moment, then to look around the close cave they were in and blinked. They'd become accustomed in the week or so they'd been underground to the occasional lyrium veins in the walls. Anders had shifted away from them whenever they'd turned up, wincing sometimes as the song in his head screeched at him. She also observed the slight hesitation every time they had to pass through a particularly close tunnel.
This was different though. She glanced at the walls and was suddenly aware of where the red light was coming from. "Varric… what's… what's that in the walls?
The dwarf glanced at the red veins dissecting the rock. "Looks like lyrium, but it's the wrong colour," Varric said. He moved to one wall and put out a hand. "Definitely lyrium."
"It's lyrium," Anders voice was anguished, the blue cracks pulsing now, as though Justice wanted to crawl out of his skin. "Corrupted. Tainted… something's _happened _to it. I don't know what but… gah…"
"Anders…"
"We should knock him out," Carver said. Saoirse glared at him. "What? He's dangerous - _look _at him. Last time he did that he killed six Templars with one spell!"
"Anders isn't going to attack us, you turd," she snapped at him.
Anders shook his head and brought his knees up to his chest. "No. No he's right. Justice can't stand the sound. You need to… "
Her brother grinned and hefted his sword so the pommel faced the back of Anders' head. "See? I'll be happy to…"
"Carver back the fuck up, all right?" She shoved him out of the way and knelt beside Anders, touching his arm gently. "Can you not control it? I can put you to sleep but will that even _work_ on Justice?"
His eyes caught hers, and they were bright, but still brown. "Worth a try," he managed to grind out. She nodded and murmured the spell, and Anders sighed in relief as he sank backwards onto the ground.
"Seriously, sister, the mage causes more trouble than he's worth."
"Shut up, Carver," she hissed. "You'd be dead three times over if he hadn't come with us."
"Hawke's right, Junior," Varric said from where he was examining one of the red veins, and she could hear the grin in his voice. "Just because you're threatened by his big, pretty, eyes…"
"Maker, Varric, I get the point."
"Just remember what will happen to you if you hurt him, brother," she said, running a hand absently through the blond strands at Anders' forehead.
"Just because you want to get into his pants doesn't mean the rest of us should be put in danger!"
Varric clocked Carver on the back of the head with the stock of Bianca, but it was absent minded, and, Saoirse thought bitterly, wouldn't have even made the blockhead _flinch. _"Hawke, come and look at this."
She got up, reluctantly, and went to where Varric was examining the wall. "It's lyrium all right. But it feels different. My stone sense is shit - not enough time down here. If Bartrand was about we could ask him. But you're a mage. What do _you _make of it?"
She put out a hand, feeling the familiar thrum of power that came with lyrium in its raw form, then gasped as it seemed to snake into her mind and flush her with power. "Ooh. Pretty," she said, her head spinning a little.
"Hawke?"
"Mmmm," it was difficult to get words to come out of her mouth, the tang of lyrium and power filled her senses and she had the sudden urge to cast every spell she'd ever learned.
"Sister," Carver's hand was on her arm and she was wrenched back from the wall. She turned her head drunkenly and focused on her brother, his eyes dark with worry. "Your pet mage said it was _corrupted. _I don't think you should be using it to get _high."_
She blinked a few times, then shook her head to clear it, and wiggled her fingers, stepping back from the wall. "I think we should get out of here," she said. What ever is making that lyrium red… isn't… it's…"
"Glow-boy here isn't going to wake up for a while," Carver said, nudging Anders' still form with his booted foot, a little heavily for Saoirse's tastes.
"Well you and Varric will have to carry him. I don't think I want him waking up here any way. Not with how Justice reacted."
"Do I get to drag him?"
"Carver, is it _possible _for you to open your mouth without being a complete tit?"
The firestorm had done it's work. Only two of the spiders were still twitching when they finally opened the door and Carver made sure to stab them in their brain casings as they passed. She ended up carrying Anders' legs - the mage was painfully light, and the height disparity between Carver and Varric would have made things too difficult otherwise.
"Ha! Do you think Blondie eats at _all_ Hawke? He's lighter than _Daisy." _
She blushed, feeling suddenly responsible for the unconscious healer's condition. "He doesn't get much time, you know."
"Or money," Varric said. "Hopefully this trip will set him up. He can open a fancy clinic in hightown for the nobles."
"I don't think that's why he does it, Varric," she said, remembering the first time they'd met. _If I wanted money I've been going about it all wrong…_
The dwarf sighed. "I know. I know. I'd just…"
"If we make enough out of this expedition, _I'll _pay off the coterie, Varric. You don't have to look after all of us the way you do. Much as it's appreciated."
Varric snorted. "Didn't think you knew about that."
"By 'pay off' she means 'slaughter'," Carver said. "You know that, right Varric?"
Varric sighed. "Just… don't tell me about it Junior. I have enough trouble with the coterie as it is."
"Not after I firestorm them all, you won't, Varric," Saoirse said cheerfully, trying to forget the insidious feeling of power she'd felt in the red lyrium room. It was what she'd always imagined the touch of a demon would feel like.
"How far away do we need to get do you think?" Varric said.
"He didn't seem affected by it out here," Saoirse said. "But I don't really want to set up a camp in the middle of roasted spiders."
"True."
They carried Anders to the cavern before and laid him out gently. She found herself with his head in her lap, not through any conscious decision. It was very hard not to run her fingers through his hair, which had come loose from its tie. It felt soft and slightly greasy under her fingers.
Varric and Carver were pointedly facing away from her, so didn't see when Anders stirred and blinked.
"Morning!" she said brightly, but not loudly enough to attract their attention. He smiled. A soft smile that made her chest hurt.
"What did I do to deserve this wake up?" he asked.
She smiled, hoping the light was too dim for him to see her blush. "Healed my arm and went mad," she said, wiggling her fingers at him. "We carried you away from the room. The lyrium in it…"
He frowned and sat up, running a hand through the hair she'd been so tempted to caress earlier. He seemed irritated and started fishing in his pockets, pulling out a leather tie and gathering up his hair again. She gave a little sigh of disappointment.
He didn't notice, though. "It was singing again, but… Justice didn't like it. Not at all. Corrupted I think."
She nodded. "I felt it. It… seemed more powerful somehow… than normal lyrium. Not that I've had huge amounts of experience with normal lyrium, just… "
He grabbed her hand suddenly. "Don't touch it. Justice thinks it's dangerous."
She nodded, biting her lip. "If you say so." He seemed to realise he was holding her hand then, and dropped it, hastily.
"Blondie's awake," she heard Varric saying to Carver. "Best get going."
His eyes slid from hers, a blush heating his cheeks and she heaved a sigh and got to her feet.
"Right."
17. Discussions
She left Anders tending to the apostate's wounds, once she was sure the hysterical girl was unconscious. Anders gave her a grateful look. "Come back in a moment?" he said. "I don't think she'll want to wake up alone with me. And I know she won't want to wake up alone…"
She nodded, then climbed up the entrance to the slaver caverns. Sebastian and Fenris were waiting for them, making sure they weren't ambushed by more of the bastards. There was no money in this little side operation of theirs, but she was grateful the archer was able to spare the time when Varric was unavailable.
Fenris was always willing, of course. Relations between the two of them had smoothed, somewhat, since Anders had moved in. They rarely spoke, but there was none of the charged violence left, and he obviously appreciated the opportunities she afforded him, both for coin and revenge against the slavers he hated so much.
She clambered up the steep slope to the entrance, hearing the soft tones of Sebastian's brogue floating down, and smiled. He was a good man, Sebastian, despite his constant attempts to get her to be devout. She was willing to put up with the crushing boredom of the grand cleric's little "chats" because it made him happy and his gentle attempts to convert Fenris always made her smile.
When she caught the word "abomination" however, she froze. Still out of sight, she pressed herself into the ground and listened in increasing outrage.
"It's our duty to tell the templars," Sebastian was saying.
"Then why haven't you done it?" Fenris sounded drily amused, but then, that was little different to how he normally sounded.
Sebastian heaved a heavy sight. "I guess I was hoping they would come to it on their own."
"And then you wouldn't have to betray Hawke's friends?"
"That's not reason enough to allow a maleficar to walk free." _What?_ There was a long silence, in which she could hear the archer shifting from foot to foot. "Which of us should do it? Should we draw lots?"
"Nuh uh. You want to turn them in, you work it out with Hawke."
The pair fell silent and Saoirse stayed where she was, breath suddenly heaving in her chest and heart pounding in fear. _That's not reason enough to allow a maleficar to walk free. _Anders. Merrill. They were both maleficar, although she doubted what Anders was came under any strict Templar definition other than _kill on sight _and Sebastian was talking about _turning them in._
"Saoirse?" Anders' voice drifted up from the cavern and she startled, standing up and turning.
"Up here Anders!" she called, making sure she made enough noise and looked calm enough _she hoped _that the two men at the entrance didn't know she'd been there the whole time.
"We'll need someone to carry her. I'm… " _not strong enough _she finished for him. Those scrawny arms of his.
"Fenris?" she called.
"You want _me _to carry an _apostate?"_
_Much rather you than Sebastian. _"You're the strongest you thickhead. Get down here."
The elf heaved a sigh and clambered past her. She had to resist the urge to hug him as he passed. Even after all they'd been through he _wasn't _going to…
"What are you looking at, Hawke?" he snapped. She stifled a grin.
_Still a dick though._
"She's back there. Be gentle with her. They… did things." Fenris gave her a long look, then nodded and made his way down into the cavern.
"Hawke," Sebastian said as she clambered the rest of the way out of the cavern. Her eyes slid away from him. "Good work back there. These scum need to be taught that we will not stand for slavery in the Free Marches."
She raised an eyebrow at him. "No. We won't," she said shortly. Sebastian frowned at her tone of voice, so she forced herself to put a bright smile on her face and started twirling her staff. He smiled then, and looked away, and she had to suppress the urge to bring the pointed aura of Li'l Leandra down on his smug, tanned face.
They walked back along the wounded coast, Fenris cradling the unconscious form of the apostate remarkably gently for someone so fearsome in battle. Anders was vibrating with energy and outrage - the treatment of the girl putting him right on the edge. Fenris, used to him in that state, ignored him. But Sebastian seemed unable to.
"You seem very angry," he said.
Anders shot him a look of pure venom. Normally Saoirse would step in here - calm him down, but today she just couldn't bring herself to care.
"And here I thought the chantry was against mind reading,"
"Did something happen to you in the circle? I understand there were problems in Ferelden."
_Maker, Sebastian. Are you that sodding ignorant? _
"Are you saying a mage can only be unhappy in the circle if demons are involved?" Anders' tone was surprisingly even. "No. It's not about Uldred. It's not about being beaten or raped by a Templar…" she _saw _Sebastian wince at that, which made her even more angry at him. He had no way of knowing if Anders had suffered that way. To flat out _ask _him - in company… especially given the crumpled and broken apostate they were gently carrying back to Kirkwall… but Anders hadn't finished. "That does happen, but I've been fortunate. It's a larger principle. The freedom every man woman and child born in Thedas have as a natural right."
Her heart ached that he could think himself _fortunate. _She opened her mouth to say something back to Sebastian about _ignorance _and _hypocrisy _but didn't have time to start before his next words sent her into a seething rage.
"You were given to the circle. I was given to the Chantry. Hawke was driven away from home by the darkspawn. None of us are free."
_None of us are free. _
_Holy sweet fucking _Andraste._ Sebastian._
"Were you born this stupid or did the Chantry train you up to it?" she said, forcing her tone light.
Sebastian looked at her, eyebrow raised. "Excuse me?"
"Are you seriously comparing your time in the Chantry to Anders' time in the circle?"
"Well… yes…I…"
Anders gave her a warning look but she ignored it. "So… you're comparing something your parents _chose _for you because you were the youngest son of a Prince, to being ripped bodily away from your mother in _shackles?"_
"I…"
"I'm not even going to _start _on how ridiculous it is for you to think being _driven from your home _by a _darkspawn horde _has any resemblance whatsoever to the Chantry taking mage children from their families and locking them up never to be seen again."
"I was merely trying to show how we are all victims of circumstance Hawke…"
"Circumstance in my case was a sodding _blight. _Circumstance in _yours _was just your parents being dicks."
"I hardly think insulting my _dead family…"_
"Shut up Sebastian. Circumstance in _Anders' _case is the sanctioned enslavement of an entire section of the population. If you're going to fucking compare them, make sure you understand how sodding ridiculous the comparison is first, you sanctimonious arse."
"Saoirse…"
"Hawke I don't think your reaction is reasonable, I did not mean to cause offense."
She stopped on the path. "What _did _you want to do then, Sebastian? Why did you bring it up at all? Oh, I'll just ask the trauma victim why he's so intent on stopping other people from suffering the same fate that he did and _not _expect him or his loved ones to get a little bit _stroppy _about it?"
"_Saoirse…" _
"Shut up Anders."
"Hawke," Fenris' deep rumbling voice cut through their discussion and she rounded on him, the things she could say to the elf bubbling and dying when she remembered he had stood by her at the entrance to the cave.
She sighed instead. "Yes Fenris?"
"You've embarrassed him long enough," the elf's lips were twitching in amusement. She glanced back at the Prince, who was frowning, his dark cheeks flushed with a deeper red. Anders and Fenris continued past them while Saoirse stood looking at Sebastian for a good few minutes.
"I… I'm sorry, Hawke," he said eventually.
She cocked her head on one side then nodded. Sebastian sighed and started to walk after Fenris an Anders, but she caught his arm as he passed.
"If Anders _or _Merrill find themselves at the Gallows because of you, Sebastian, I'll kill you myself."
It took him a long time to follow her, and he didn't speak again.
18. Children and Animals
When she got to the clinic he was busy - as usual. There were groans and coughs from the many patients littered on the rough cots scattered around and Anders was talking earnestly with a haggard young woman who was holding a boy in her arms. The boy was shaking; she could hear muffled sobs and even from the door she could see his arm, hanging limp away from his body, had been very badly burnt.
"Bring him over here," Anders said in his soft voice. He hadn't noticed Saoirse enter and she scanned the room quickly, looking to see if there were any cases she could deal with. When she couldn't find anyone who was in immediate need of her help she turned back to Anders, who had managed to get the boy to sit up on one of the taller wooden benches.
"And how old are you, Serah?" Anders said.
"Mam says I've got ten summers, Messere Anders," he said, hiccuping a few times as he tried to repress the tears that filled his eyes and threatened to spill.
"Really? I would have thought you were at least twelve," Anders said, his full lips twitching in a small smile as his fingers felt along the sleeve of his ruined shirt, so gently and deftly that the child did nothing more than wince. "You're so tall."
The boy bit his lip, obviously pleased at the implication that he was bigger and stronger. Saoirse would have pegged him at eight at the most, but she was used to the children of Lothering, who were all well nourished and cared for, not the pathetic wretches who combed the Kirkwall sewers. Lothering folk may have been common to the core, but they were proud farmers, and they looked after their children. No one from her town would have allowed him to get into this state.
She shuddered, suddenly, wondering where this boy had come from, whether he'd been on the same ship as she and her family, but less fortunate in his living arrangements. He could even have come from Lothering - could have been one of those happy, well fed children she vaguely remembered roaming the fields. He didn't look familiar, but no children she knew ever had circles that dark under their eyes, or arms so pathetically stick thin.
The burn was horrific. Saoirse couldn't believe that the child was so calm. She knew from experience how much they hurt. She wondered if the boy was simply so used to pain that it wasn't a big deal, or was so tired and hungry that his energy couldn't be spared for crying.
Anders simply glanced at the mangled flesh and then back into the eyes of the boy, tucking an errant strand of hair behind an ear and giving him a wink. "I bet you can run faster than everyone, too. Am I right?" His hands were busy and she could feel him touching the fade, the slight taste of rich sweetness in her mouth telling her he was pulling a _lot _of power - enough that she could feel it even though she was a good ten feet from where he knelt….
"Da used to say I was a whippet," the boy said, breath still coming in little hitching sobs, but smiling a little now.
"Whippet? Those are the little racing dogs, aren't they?" Anders' grin widened and she felt his spells (there were _three _of them, holy maker, at once!) release. One of his hands, on the arm of the boy, glowed blue and green as he let healing and grease spread out at once, gently tugging the ruined cloth away from the even more ruined skin and letting it begin to knit together.
His other hand - the one that had been tucking the child's hair a moment before, was held palm upwards in front of the boy's eyes and she gasped in as much awe as the boy as she saw what took shape in it.
A tiny dog, running, made entirely from lightning.
The boy's eyes went so wide with wonder she could practically see the lightning creature reflected in their brown depths. "Oh! Messere Anders!"
She breathed out slowly, watching as the boy's arm became whole, even as the tiny dog ran around Anders' hand and eventually jumped to the boy's shoulder, making his grubby hair stand up with static. The boy was outright _grinning _now as the creature rolled on its imaginary back and waved paws in the air and as the final tendrils of healing magic finished their work the tiny dog sat on its haunches next to the boy on the table top, tongue lolling, tail thumping, looking for all the world like a puppy waiting for a kind word from its master.
Anders was pale and she could see beads of sweat on his upper lip, but his mouth was still curved in a smile as he smoothed the boys hair back down.
"There you are. All fixed!" he said brightly. "Spot here had fun playing with you too, didn't you Spot?" the creature lifted its front legs and yapped silently, tail wagging even more furiously before fading. Saoirse let out a small sigh of regret at its absence.
The boy's mother, who had been hovering anxiously nearby the whole time, came up then and tried to press something into Anders' hand but he shook his head vigorously and stepped back. She tried half-heartedly again, but Anders was firm and instead she muttered something under her breath and started to lead the boy out. The child was babbling and nodding, all fear and pain forgotten in the wonder of what he'd seen.
She considered, for a moment, simply stepping back out of the clinic - she didn't truly need him, she reasoned, they were going to rescue a_ Templar _after all and she knew they weren't his favourite people. But she also knew that there may be blood magic involved and she… just had no experience of it outside of Merrill and she got the impression that Merrill's idea of blood magic was ever so slightly different to whatever was behind the clusterfuck they'd found at Wilmod's camp.
She still couldn't believe she'd managed to get out of _that _one with her freedom intact. Varric had shoved her out of the way when the demons had started attacking and she'd had to play that she'd been knocked out in the initial attack. Fenris and Carver and Isabela had easily stepped in to finish the demons off with her bolstering them as subtly as possible from the sidelines but it had taken a lot of willpower not to land a few fireballs in the middle of the fight, even with the Knight Captain of Sodding Kirkwall fighting right there in front of her.
_Saoirse will you _never _learn caution… _
She blinked. Her father's voice was still so clear in her mind sometimes.
Anders had seen her and was walking towards her with a smile on her face. She attempted to arrange her face into something resembling a normal expression and leaned casually against the doorframe.
"And that's why _I _don't do anything with children or animals," she said, smiling softly. "I'd be so hideously outclassed."
The smile reached his eyes this time. She felt heat rise to her cheeks at how much a simple smile could transform his face.
It was a face made for smiling, she decided.
"Trick I learned in the tower," he said. "Very useful for when you have to tutor five year olds. They have very short attention spans."
"You actually _taught _in the tower?"
His smile turned wry. "Of course. We were all required to once we passed our harrowings. Lots of mages. Lots to learn. And it needed to be a fairly high child to mage ratio - can you imagine having to deal with more than ten kids who can fireball things at once?" he winked at her. "How did your father manage?"
She grinned then. "Well, by the time Bethany showed signs I was already twelve," she said. "I helped," she sighed. "And Beth was always the good child. Never got in trouble the way I did. Or Carver for that matter."
The smile faded. He was obviously blaming himself for making her bring up Bethany and she kicked herself. Sometimes it just… it was too easy to think she was still alive.
"Was there something you needed?" he asked, his voice kind.
_No…._ she was on the verge of saying it. He was needed _here. _Taking him away from it would… but as she opened her mouth he raised a shaking hand to push the sweaty strands of his hair away from his face and she remembered he'd just performed some of the most complex magic she'd _ever _seen and he had refused payment and he was…so very skinny under that motley collection of feathers leather and buckles he called robes…
He would never accept charity from her. She had tried to give him coin but he'd waved it away. The best she could manage was a few meals at the Hanged man, the occasional basket sent down to the clinic with spare ingredients or potions they'd collected on their outings. But if he _went with her _he would accept a share of the loot they found and if she sometimes over estimated the amount he was due when it came time to tally up at the end no one else said anything and these people… _these people _would be the ones to benefit.
"We've got a job… to rescue a templar recruit from a group of blood mages. I could use your help and expertise."
He cocked an eyebrow at "templar" but it lowered again at "blood mages" and arranged itself into a frown.
"You shouldn't be messing around with blood mages, Hawke," he said.
"You can help us, though, right? I mean…"
He sighed. "Of course. Let me get my staff."
_Maker damn you, Anders. You're going to help _yourself_ no matter what._
19. Tolerated
He unlocked the door to his clinic with hands that were shaking with fatigue, his mind constantly flitting between what Saoirse must be telling Leandra and Gamlen and visions of his joining back in Amaranthine. The particular taste of archdemon blood sliding over his tongue like oil. The burp Oghren had let out when he'd swallowed nearly the whole cup.
The small, huddled corpse of Mhairi when he'd come round with the mother of all hangovers…
He wondered whether Justice would have found another mage to champion the cause had it been Anders lying on the floor of the throne room at Amaranthine. Velanna, maybe? Or Alim himself?
Lirene and the girls had run the clinic in his absence and it was impeccably clean. He'd left them _all _his coin, reasoning, quite correctly as it turned out, that there wouldn't be anywhere for him to spend it in the deep roads, and the shelves were well stocked with ingredients, but low on potions and poultices. He sighed, too keyed up to sleep, and decided he could get started on replenishing them. He'd told Lirene to buy them if they needed to, but it was better, and cheaper, for him to make them himself.
He shrugged out of his coat and hung it in the small partitioned off part of the clinic he called his room, closing the door. There was water and fresh clothing and he was desperate to be free of the stink of darkspawn and lyrium, so he stripped the rest of his clothing off and heated a small basin of it to wash, having been denied that luxury for far too long.
When he felt clean again he pulled on a fresh shirt and breeches, old and worn but still at least decent, and padded back out into the clinic to get started.
There was a templar there. His heartbeat now seemed unnaturally loud in the echoey space that was the clinic. If only there'd been a patient… one of the girls… anything other than that cold suited, faceless _thing _that had the power to rip everything he was away.
"I knew if I continued to come here you would show up eventually," the man said, voice smooth and oily behind the helm. Anders froze, Justice stirring. He didn't have his staff - he'd locked Spellfury up in its chest when he'd undressed, but Justice didn't need it to focus his anger. _Justice _didn't need a staff at all.
"Ser Templar," he said, voice trembling only slightly. "To what do I owe the honour of this visit?"
"Surely you know why I am here?"
"Are you hurt, Serah?" he couldn't repress the slight bitter smirk that spread over his face. "Sometimes that armour can chafe in unpleasant places, I'm told."
"And you would know all about Templars and their medical complaints, would you, _Apostate?"_
Anders swallowed, but forced his tone light. "Apostate? Me?"
"Do not pretend ignorance. We have known of your presence here since you arrived. That you were convenient for a time has kept you safe. But you are not convenient if you are not _present."_
"Are you here to drag me to the Gallows then?" Anders asked, clasping his hands together to hide their sudden shaking. "Oooh, Serah Templar, you've got me all a quiver."
"No. I am here to deliver a warning."
Anders was tired, used to darkspawn attacks rather than templars, out of practice… used to the status his clinic afforded him. And this Templar… he was fast. Faster than the ones in Ferelden had been.
Before he could react he was pressed against a wall, gauntleted fingers digging into his chin while the Templar's other hand encircled his wrist in a grip that would leave bruises. The cold metal of his breastplate pressed against Anders chest and he could feel the hot breath of the man even through the small slit of his visor.
He'd gone still as soon as the Templar pounced. If the man had been uncertain that Anders was the mage he sought, that instinctive stillness would have given him away. A normal person would struggle, kick out, attempt to free himself, but Anders had come from years of conditioning - _not to provoke, don't hit back, they'll just punish you more if you do…_
The Templar sniffed, as though he could smell Anders' fear.
"So little, you mages," the Templar purred, stroking his finger down Anders' jaw. "So very slender and breakable. Who would think you hold in such a body the power to corrupt us all?"
Anders was breathing through his nose in short, desperate gasps, his eyes fixed on the door to the clinic, trying not to blink or give away any other reaction that might be construed as a threat. Justice would manifest and kill the Templar, of that he had no doubt, and Anders wouldn't _care _save that he would undoubtably then have to flee and he had things to do here… responsibilities and friends and….
The Templar released Anders face to remove his helm, revealing a smooth, bald head and cold blue eyes. The helm dropped to the floor of the clinic with an empty thud and the Templar started fishing inside his armour for something, humming slightly under his breath in what Anders was even more horrified to realise was satisfaction. _Pleasure._
"Are you not going to beg me for mercy, little apostate?" he said as he searched.
"Why?" Anders said, his voice strained. "You're not going to give it to me. You don't know the meaning of the word."
The blue eyes found his again, slight smile still playing over the bearded lips. "No? How disappointing." He paused, tilting his head and considering Anders, who was mortified to find he was trembling. "Your _friend _begged me," the Templar continued. "So very eloquent."
Anders blinked. "My friend?" A new type of fear gripped him, then, on top of the crushing weight of terror that was already making it difficult to draw breath. He only knew two other apostates working freely in Kirkwall and he doubted the templar would refer to Merrill as his _friend. _
_Saoirse._
"What have you done?" It took all his willpower for the enquiry to come out in his own voice and not the booming tones of Justice. The spirit wailed inside his head, begging for the opportunity to exact justice on the man in front of them, but Anders clamped down with logic and willpower and maker knew what else. If Justice killed this Templar, they would have to say goodbye to Kirkwall, and he wasn't _ready…_
"He wrote such endearments to you, Anders," the Templar continued. "Touching, really, how much affection you mages think you feel for each other. Almost as though you were like us. But we know better don't we?"
_Not Saoirse. _
_Karl._
His throat almost closed over with remembered grief. The feel of the knife in his hand. The red of the brand. The dead eyes of his former lover. "You killed him," Anders said, matter of factly.
"No," the templar smiled, "I _cured _him." Anders blinked, confused for a moment, until he saw what the Templar had been fishing for in his armour.
His head started to shake from side to side. "No. Oh no. _Please."_
The smile spread further across the templar's face and he breathed in softly, drinking in Anders' fear. "See, _now _you beg," he rubbed the object lightly across Anders' cheek, as though it were the hand of a lover. "They always beg, near the end." The sun stamp in his hand was infused with lyrium and power. Anders wondered, wildly, how it was done. Was it as simple as holding his head still as the brand was pressed into his flesh? "Your Karl begged me. On his knees in the end. Yet once we were done he did whatever I asked. Just as you will."
Now, _now _Anders found it in himself to struggle. "Bastard," he hissed as he tried desperately to break the iron grip of the templar's fingers around his wrist. "He's free of you now, at least."
"Alrik!"
The Templar hissed, turning his head to face the voice at the door of the clinic. Anders blinked tears from his eyes and turned his head to see another Templar, helm off, scowling under the light from lantern that marked the clinic's entrance.
"Ser Celia," Alrik said.
"Your orders were to warn him, not tranquil him," Celia's voice was full of contempt.
"And this is what I am doing, Ser Celia," Alrik said, stepping back and releasing Anders from his iron grip, voice never losing its smooth menace.
"Take heed, apostate," Celia said, curling her lips as she eyed Anders with slightly less contempt than she had her fellow templar. "You are tolerated here because you fulfill a service. If you are not _present _to fulfill that service you will no longer be tolerated." Anders swallowed, looking back at Alrik, who still held the stamp in his hand and was smiling slightly. "Is that understood?" Celia shifted her weight and transferred her helm to the other hand, cocking her head on one side. "Mage? Are we clear?"
Anders couldn't find his voice, but he managed a nod.
"See that you remember it," Celia said, then jerked her head at Ser Alrik who leaned down to collect his helm slowly and turned to leave with one last look at him, lips behind the ridiculous beard curled in a smile that made Anders' knees weak with fear.
When they were gone he slid down the wall, legs unable to support his weight, blinking and shuddering.
Lirene found him, an hour later, maybe two, still sitting there, amidst the elfroot and spindleweed he'd meant to make into poultices, dropped and forgotten when Alrik had first put his hands on him.
"Anders?" her cool voice was smooth and her Ferelden accent _reassuring. _"One of the girls said the expedition was back. Are you… " she knelt next to him in sudden concern. "Maker's breath, man. Are you all right? What happened?"
He blinked looking up into her face, lined with hardship and the impossible uphill battle she fought trying to help her fellow refugees. He shook his head. "Nothing," he said. "Nothing important." He forced a smile and started gathering the herbs scattered around him. Lirene helped him put them back in their slots on the racks with that same neat efficiency with which she handled everything.
"It doesn't look like it was nothing important," she said as the last of the herbs were put back in their place.
"It was a rough time, down in the deep roads," he said, smiling slightly, his equilibrium returning. "I probably should have slept rather than try to do herbalism."
She gave him a small smile in return, patting his hand, and he remembered everything he owed her. More than that, when he saw she'd brought him a covered basket that was still steaming. "Maker, Lirene, you don't have to do this for me."
"Nonsense," she said, grinning and pushing him into the only serviceable chair. "We missed you. This is a welcome back gift."
He couldn't stop himself from taking the cloth from the basket and breathing in the scent of bread and meat and fruit. They'd been on very short rations, those last few days, and the hunger that felt like it was gnawing its way through his gut couldn't be denied.
"I'm sorry I was gone for so long," he said, reaching for the bread. "It… " he thought of Alrik's cold blue eyes and Celia's open contempt. "It won't happen again Lirene."
"You don't owe us anything, Anders," she said then.
His lips twitched. "You're wrong. But I won't argue with you." She smiled at him and stood. "I'll bring the basket back to you tomorrow," he said. She nodded and left, after another long look at him that told him she wasn't buying his 'nothing important' story. But she went without any more questions and he was grateful as he started eating the food she had brought.
He wasn't able to settle down to sleep until he had checked the locks and set wards, more paranoid about his safety here than he had been the entire trip through the deep roads.
20. Moving Up
"Haven't seen you since the deep roads, Anders," she was leaning on the doorframe of his clinic, looking resplendent in her new, clean and expensive robes, just the right shade of blue to bring out the hazel of her eyes and the deep russet tones in her red hair.
She was… so very beautiful.
He busied himself with winding bandages and stacking poultices. She knew the right time to come to him, she always did, and he couldn't deny that he'd been hoping she'd stop by, but every time he'd thought of visiting he'd remembered the light of insanity in Alrik's eyes and stopped himself. The less association he had with her the better, and not just for his own reasons.
"Do you need healing, Hawke?" he asked, trying to keep his tone neutral.
"Anders…"
He looked at his hands, then up at her. Remembered she didn't know if her brother was alive or dead. Remembered her cradling his head in her hands when she thought he was sleeping. Remembered her helping him control Justice so he could heal Varric.
He swallowed. "I'm sorry, Hawke, but I'm busy here."
She quirked a smile at him. "You're always busy," the grin had something of the manic about it as she lunged forward and grabbed his wrist, pulling him towards the door. "And there are no patients, come on."
He resisted. "What?"
"I want to show you my _house _you grumpy sod. Can't a girl show off a bit? Mother arranged it all while I was gone, we got the keys as soon as I gave them the bonds Varric arranged for us…_"_
He smiled and took a few steps forward, then remembered Alrik's cold blue gaze. _If you are not here you will not be tolerated. _
"I… I can't right now, Hawke…"
"Oh, come on and see my house you arse. I want to gloat and possibly dance naked in the hallways and that's no fun if there's no one there _with _me."
He smirked a bit at that. "Please, don't feel you need to dance naked on _my _account."
"Prude."
The irony of that statement hit him hard enough that he stopped resisting and allowed himself to be led. After all, Alrik couldn't expect him to stay in the clinic twenty-four hours a day, he needed supplies and to eat… and…
…he was being paranoid, he knew that. But the fear was still very much with him and he knew that part of the excuses were because he truly _wanted _to see Hawke taking pleasure in something, after those last few miserable days walking back through the deep roads without Carver when he had been scared he'd never see her smile at him again…
"You bought the Amell estate?"
"Reclaimed it, actually," she said as she fumbled with locks. They'd gotten some odd looks, on the way through hightown. Anders in his scruffy coat and untidy hair was a common enough sight, but _not _accompanied by the woman Hawke had become. He felt completely out of place, like his first time out of the circle. "Gamlen sold it without the proper deeds, and the slavers that took residence here have all been… re-housed."
He cocked an eyebrow. "Re-housed?"
"Killed," she grinned at him, finally working a key in the lock. The estate was virtually on the Viscount's _doorstep, _and he glanced up at the building with some trepidation.
At least it wasn't right outside the fucking _chantry. _
She tried to open the door but it stuck, dust billowing out from underneath it. "Haven't you been here yet?"
She shook her head. "No! I went straight to darktown after I got the key. I didn't want to go in by myself, it's been nearly a year since we were in there and we didn't go above the basement. The slavers were Tevinters it's possible there's been… blood magic or stuff going on inside. You know about that. So I thought I'd ask you to come along."
She didn't meet his eyes during the last speech and his heart started to speed up, thinking of exactly why she might have asked him to come here with him and wondering why on earth, after all she'd seen…
The door burst inwards and she stumbled, pulling him with her, over the threshold, laughing and tripping on too long skirts. He was certain he'd used to be more graceful than this, but he didn't manage to keep balance, not with the grip she had on his arm, and he ended up sprawled, breathless and boneless, on top of her in the dust.
"Maker, we just ruined your dress, Saoirse," he said. She laughed under him, things shaking and pressing against him as she did so in a way that was more than pleasant and he had to blink, suddenly, remembering she wasn't from the tower, they weren't in Amaranthine or Denerim and he couldn't do the natural thing, the thing he would always have done before, and lean down to catch that smiling mouth with his…
"Are you seriously," she said softly, having gone completely still under him as though she could read his thoughts, "worried about my _dress?"_
He raised his eyebrow at her. "Seeing as it almost certainly cost more than _all _my combined possessions, _yes _I am, Saoirse."
She wriggled delightfully under him and he repressed a groan, pushing himself up and away from her only to feel a strong hand hooked around his neck. "Where are you going?" she said, tone turned sultry. "I like you right where you are."
"Shei everyone can see in from the street here," he said, the name falling from his lips before he could think.
"I'm already the scandal of hightown, let them look."
He shook his head firmly and gently removed her hand so he could stand. She lay looking up at him for a moment, hurt plain in her eyes and ignored the hand he held out to help her up.
"Fine," he said, uncharacteristically grumpy with her, and turned his back on her to look at the foyer of what would be her new home. "You're right. It _is _huge."
"Strange to think mother grew up here," her voice floated up to him and he turned back to see she'd flipped onto her stomach and was tracing patterns in the dust that covered the stone floor. She was coated with the stuff, and he supposed he must be too. Ragged and filthy, the two of them. But her sunny mood had disappeared and he sighed, suddenly, realising that he had been the cause. There was a bench, on the side wall of the estate, and he made his way to it, sitting and looking at her.
"There are so many reasons why this is a bad idea Saoirse," he said after a pause, in which she drew a large collection of stick figures and what he assumed was a mabari attacking a bunch of darkspawn with staves.
"Why what is a bad idea?" she said sulkily, not looking up.
"You. And me. This. You know what I mean, Justice isn't the half of it."
She made a noncommittal sound and started drawing flames coming out of one of the stick figures hands. Obviously her, then, he was rubbish at fire.
"I'm an apostate…"
She held up a hand but he interrupted her before she could state the bleeding obvious "Yes, I know you are too, but you're not a _wanted, known _apostate. I'm… an abomination. And I'm a warden. You… you don't know all of what _that _means, not yet, and I can't tell you but suffice to say it's… not a good idea for someone like you to be with someone like me."
"You _are _someone like me."
"No. No I'm not, Shei. I'm sorry… I'm so sorry we didn't meet before…" _Amaranthine… Justice… the circle… when would have been a good time? Truly? _
She sighed, putting the finishing touches on her picture, which now included a couple of extremely crude griffons, then got up and kicked it away with, he was somewhat amused to note, her old boots - the ones she'd worn in the deep roads. The skirt of her dress had been long enough to conceal them until now.
"Come on let's check this place out," she said, not acknowledging what he'd said and barely looking at him.
The estate was massive. Rooms upon rooms. Anders thought he might have been able to get _lost _in the place. The concept of someone… two someones having it all to _themselves_… it didn't fit into Anders' head. Fenris' house was nearly as large, but the elf had settled for making camp in two or three rooms, and the rest of the place was falling into disrepair around him. And Anders had never had occasion, not in all his short life outside the circle, to be inside a nobleman's home on any sort of _legitimate _business, he was usually far too busy running or hiding to take in the furnishings and tapestries.
"What are you going to do with all the rooms?" he said, bewildered, after they'd shown themselves into yet _another _sleeping chamber - the fourth, by his count, although he could well have mistaken a drawing or sitting room for somewhere to sleep - apparently there was a difference.
She looked uncomfortable. "I'm not sure," she said. "Mother seems to think we need them all furnished. I suppose… we're supposed to invite guests over? Hold balls or something? Isn't that what nobles do?"
"Hey, my family were farmers from the Anderfels, don't look at _me _for advice about how nobles behave."
She leaned against a dusty doorframe, suddenly looking small and vulnerable. "Andraste's tits, Anders, I hadn't really thought about… what _that _would mean."
"What what would mean?" he perched on the bed, resisting the urge to sneeze.
She waved a hand. "You know. Being _nobility. _I've seen the shit that Seneschal Bran and his cronies get up to. Aveline stands guard at some of those stupid parties to make sure the drunk guests don't get mugged on their way home…" she shifted again, eyes widening. "Actually, I suspect I may well have mugged a few of the guests on their way home, Anders. We did a lot of shady things when we were with Athenril…"
"And this is different from what you do _now?" _he raises an eyebrow at her and is gratified to see the smirk that spreads over her face and reaches her eyes.
"Now I have this legitimate mage-y fellow who follows me around," she said. The smirk faded then and she sighed, pushing herself off the doorframe and turning to leave the room.
He hurried off the bed and followed after her. "What is it, Saoirse?" he asked softly as they walked.
She glanced back at him and shook her head. "It should have been all three of us," she said, and a fist clenched at her side. "Fuck that, it should have been all _four _of us."
He touched her arm. There were empty words of comfort he could offer, but they would be just that: empty. He could give her no assurance that wouldn't be a lie, and he would not lie to her, not about this.
She turned to face him, and there was a tear on her cheek that he itched to catch with one finger. Instead he pulled her into a hug and stroked her hair with one hand, remembering a time when he'd been able to do this for his friends. Her arms came around him then and she shook a little bit before pulling back and sneezing violently.
"Shit," she said. "Dust. I'm so hiring someone else to clean the place before we move in." The laugh that followed was forced, but he smiled along with it, for the sake of wishing it hadn't been.
When he got back to his clinic he was covered in dust and melancholy and there was a line of patients outside the closed door. He apologised hastily and opened the door, slotting back into the role he had made for himself, and tried not to think of an empty mansion in Hightown with far too many rooms.
21. Trapped
The sound wasn't as bad, coming from the idol, as it was in the room with the spiders, or perhaps Anders was used to it now. But no matter how much money the thing was worth, it wasn't not worth touching. He wanted to scream at Saoirse when she picked it up and the relief that flooded him when she threw it to Bartrand was palpable.
For a couple of seconds. Until the door started to close.
"Bartrand, it's shut behind you!" Varric called, all four of them pressed against it as though they can make it open again from physical touch.
"You always did notice everything Varric."
"Are you joking? You're going to screw over your own brother for a lousy idol?"
"It's not just the idol. The location of this thaig alone is worth a fortune, and I'm not splitting it three ways. Sorry Brother."
"Bartrand. BARTRAND!" Veins stood out on Varric's neck. Anders didn't think he'd _ever _seen the dwarf lose his temper before and it was all the more terrifying for being unexpected. Or expected, and then delivered.
"I swear I will find that son of a bitch (sorry mother) and I will kill him," Varric said, hands still resting on the door. "Let's hope there's a way out of here."
Anders swallowed heavily. The veins of corrupted lyrium surrounding them bathed the room in red light and Justice scrambled in his head, desperately trying to repress the _wrongness _of his song but Anders could hear nothing but the creak of rope and the scrabble of rats in a dark room.
"Come on magey, we can't stick around here all day."
_Great. The dulcet tones of a surly brat. _"Right," he muttered. "Yes. Of course."
Inside he was screaming.
He'd never had to spend this much time in the deep roads before. In Amaranthine it had been short trips - the longest the one to go down to the lair of the mother. They had been under for more than a week already and his palms itched and he sweated and he wanted _out _so badly that it was all he could do not to snap and snarl at their companions whenever they spoke.
He felt a hand on his arm and looked up to see Varric, eyeing him with some concern. "You all right, Blondie?" he said.
He breathed deeply. "Yes. Fine."
"Perhaps we should check those maps of yours again, mm?"
"Good idea."
They found a room relatively free of red lyrium strands and made camp, thankful at least that they'd brought their packs. Anders had insisted on everyone carrying their own food, potions and gear, despite the temptation to put it in the supply carts. He'd seen wardens trapped away from others too many times not to know that having a few canteens of water and some jerky in your pack could be enough to keep you alive long enough for your brothers to dig you out.
His hands were shaking as he pulled out the warden maps and handed them to Varric. Even without his a true stone sense, the dwarf was more comfortable down here than the rest of them. And there was something about his cheerful competence that made Anders feel safe.
"So Varric. Are you going to tell me you didn't see that coming?" Carver's voice was particularly grating tonight. Anders almost would have preferred the song of the red lyrium.
"Of course I _expected _it," Varric's tone was flippant. "He's _Bartrand. _But I expected him to try to cheat us _afterwards _not now. Now is stupid. He's lost his muscle, and the only warden. If he isn't eaten by darkspawn on the way back out he's the luckiest piece of nugshit this side of the void."
"Shouldn't you have _planned _better for it, then?"
"I don't know, I thought _better _of him, Junior. It's a sad day when you discover your own flesh and blood is _stupid _as well as backstabbing."
"Carver shut up," Saoirse said. "We're in trouble and we need to find a way back to the surface. Griping about it won't help."
Carver opened his mouth to respond but thankfully must have thought the better for it. Anders enjoyed the relative silence while Varric mused over the maps and Saoirse busied herself cooking a meal. She was a decent cook, but surprisingly not as good as Carver. Skills they didn't bother to teach to circle mages would be necessary on farm, he supposed.
"How are you doing?" her hand on his arm, offering him a bowl of stew, was a shock. He was losing track of time.
"Oh, fine. Fine. Just… " he shrugged. "Not my favourite place to be trapped, you know?" He drew a breath.
"Where as I, personally, have always wanted to be buried a few miles underground with no clear exit," she said. He looked at her to find her smiling and he found he was able to smile in response, some of the tension leaking away. He wasn't _alone _down here after all. And Saoirse had a way of fixing things. Things that he didn't think could be fixed, most of the time.
"Here," Varric said. "What do you think, Blondie? You've got more experience with how Thaigs are set out."
Anders chewed thoughtfully as he looked. They'd crudely mapped the part of the Thaig they'd explored and he was grateful for the dwarven habit of building symmetrically whenever it was possible. "We should be able to get around the other side," he said. "As long as it's not caved in or blocked by darkspawn."
"Marvelous," Carver grumbled from the other side of the fire.
"Hey, at least there are no broodmothers down here," Anders said, trying for levity. "Do you know how many breasts those things have?"
"I keep wondering if one day you'll open your mouth and say something worth listening to. Stupid of me."
"For you, Carver, I will never be tempted to try."
"No wonder they locked you up. It was that or tie you in a sack full of bricks and dump you in a river."
"You know, I think they actually try that with some mage children."
"Shut up."
"Please," that was from Saoirse. "Both of you." She waved a hand and conjured ice into the pot on the fire, then heated it with another expert burst of fire. He envied her mastery of fire. Even after all these years it was the one spell he couldn't bend to his control. "Take that and go wash up, little brother. I'm sick of the sound of your voice, and considering our situation, only going to get sicker."
Carver grumbled, but did as she asked.
Once they were packed up and ready to leave, he felt Saoirse's hand on his arm again. He looked down to see her eyes fixed on his, expression serious. "Are you sure you're all right?" she asked.
He smiled down at her. "Of course I am."
She nodded, but looked unconvinced. "Let's go then."
Varric and Carver took the lead through the maze of dark tunnels.
OOOOO
The last of the bizarre rock things fell to Carver's sword, after she'd frozen them. Saoirse swore long and hard, they were _difficult _to kill and even though they were _slow _they just kept on _coming. _As the stone crumbled and she tried desperately to start catching her breath, she was startled by a voice, far, far too deep and gravelly to be human. It was as though the rocks themselves had decided to speak.
"Enough," it said. "You have proven your mettle. I would not see these creatures harmed without need."
She leaned on L'il Leandra, heaving a breath and scowling at the … _thing _that had formed out of the rocks. It was… icky. "I think being attacked on sight gives us plenty of _need."_
"They will not assault you further. Not without my permission."
Varric looked uncharacteristically frightened. "What _are_ these things? They seem like rock wraiths but..."
The thing responded. "They hunger. The profane have lingered in this place for ages beyond memory, feeding on the magic stones until the need is all they know."
_What was it with talking monsters and foreboding speech patterns? _she thought.
"They eat the lyrium? Sounds like a healthy diet."
"Good for the teeth," Varric grinned. Carver glared at him.
"I am not as they are," the thing said. "I am…. a visitor."
She had her suspicions, but she decided it might be a good idea to ask the only… expert in the field. "Anders… what do you think?"
"It seems mostly interested in their hunger," Anders said. It was hard to tell, in the red light, but he looked paler than usual. And he was pretty damned pale normally. "It's a demon. Come to feed."
"I would not see my feast end." She sighed and shook her head, but the demon didn't seem to see her irritation. Probably didn't have much experience with actual mages if it spent all its time in the deep roads sucking the hunger out of rocks.
She would never understand demons.
"I sense your desire," it continued. "You seek to leave this place, but you will need my aid to do so."
"Don't do it," Anders said, almost sadly. "Demons will trip you up every time."
"Could be a way out of here," Carver said. "I don't know."
"What are our options?" Varric asked.
"I have no intention of becoming this thing's next _meal."_
"Most unwise."
It attacked. She'd kind of expected it, but it would have been nice to have a bit more rest. Next time she'd have to think of something more interesting to discuss with the demon trying to tempt her into becoming an abomination.
When the battle was over they were exhausted. It was something of a relief, not to have to meticulously clean the darkspawn blood and guts from their armour the way Anders had been obsessively making them every time they encountered the beasts, but she couldn't let go of a small tendril of fear. The demon had seemed sure they would not be able to escape without its help. She could only hope it was being… demon-y and not…
Too late for regrets. Too late for lots of things.
"Let's go," she said.
22. Night Terrors
She doubted she'd ever been this angry. Although she probably thought that whenever she got this way - and this time around she was in the fade where it probably wasn't the smartest idea in the world to give into her rage…
"No," she said, facing the body of the man she loved. "No you'll stop here by all that's holy and unholy in this stupid place and you will sodding _explain _yourself, spirit. Anders said you were _one _how can you…"
"You misunderstand, Saoirse Hawke," if it hadn't been so booming she could almost fancy she caught a bit of Anders at his most exasperating, but the expression was all wrong and his eyes… his _eyes…_
"Enlighten me, _Justice."_
He sighed. "Truly we have not the time for this."
She pushed his shoulder against the wall with one hand. "Make the time."
"Anders and I _are _one," he said. "However the fade is not his natural realm. It _is _mine. Just as the waking world is not my natural realm, it is his. When I was in Kristoff, this did not matter, as Kristoff was dead and had no consciousness to speak of there. Thus _I _was the only… being… in control of my actions. With Anders it is different. It is natural, and right, that I be in control _here _where I… would live, just as it is natural for him to be in control in your world."
"But I've _seen _you take over there," she was fuming, angry and not even certain why until the … the _thing _in front of her tossed his head back in a gesture that was so totally _Anders _that it suddenly hit her, making her skin flush with embarrassment. If they _weren't _one then Justice really _was _an unwilling participant in their threesome. She felt dirty and even angrier with the man.
His voice changed. "Love, please," he said. And it was Anders, even though his eyes were still blue and his skin still cracked with the light that was his curse. "It's too hard to explain and Feynriel _needs _us…"
She snarled at him. "Fine," she said. "But don't think this discussion is ended, _Anders _or whoever you are."
He looked even more pained for a second, before standing taller and narrowing his eyes. "You do him a disservice, Saoirse Hawke," Justice said and she drew in a breath at the note of… possessiveness that was there. _Maker's Breath, what have I gotten into? Jealous spirits and Vengeance demons._
"I don't want to fight with you, Justice."
"Then do not."
She snorted and spun on her heel to see Fenris, standing directly behind them, sword drawn. "What are _you _doing?" she snapped.
"Protecting you from an _abomination,_" he spat back at her and she repressed an urge to firestorm the fuck out of the entire fade. Why had she decided it would be a good idea to take Fenris here? Oh, that's right, Sebastian had screamed like a _girl _when she'd even dared to suggest it.
Fuck this.
"Don't touch him," she spat at Fenris, not adding _if anyone is going to kick his skinny arse, it's going to be _me. "Let's go find this fucking elf."
At this point, she was almost of the opinion that tranquility would be a blessing.
_Almost._
* * *
><p>She should have realised. The trick, her father had told her when she was only a child of ten, with avoiding demons, was not to <em>want <em>anything, and she'd never come across someone who was such a mess of different desires as Fenris. If only she'd thought that, before she'd dragged the poor elf into the fade with her.
Her vague notion that it might make him understand the plight of mages more… couldn't really have turned around and bitten her more thoroughly.
_Tempted and taken by a _Pride _demon. _
"Fenris, please…" she hadn't expected the elf to swing at her so quickly, lyrium ghosted as he was and she let out a strangled cry, too late to block him with her staff, before Anders/Justice was there, snarling in rage, the blue of a forcefield stopping the elf from plunging his sword into her chest.
"You will not harm her, elf," Justice's boom shook the walls of the room they were in and Saoirse blinked, startled by the rage there, even as the pride demon threw back his head and cackled with glee.
She gathered mana and tried to forcefield Fenris so he wouldn't be hurt, but the spell was flicked away by the demon, whose power was astonishing, even for one of its kind. She had faced demons before, in the fade and out of it, her father had not been fool enough to think the Harrowing was something circle mages did out of malice, but this one was far more powerful than any other's she had faced and she was afraid.
"Fenris I don't want to hurt you!" she shouted.
He snarled and she almost sobbed as she channeled more magic into a cone of cold, not her favourite spell, but perhaps it was strong enough to get past whatever defenses the pride demon was channeling into her…
…friend.
Her spell fizzled and she dropped her hands. Justice's voice boomed again and she saw Isabela's lithe form flitting around behind Fenris. She opened her mouth to shout something… anything, but the pirate's face was set as she aimed her daggers at the vulnerable gap in Fenris' spiky armour - angling the blades so they would pierce his kidneys. The elf stiffened as the blades sank home and his green eyes found hers, wide, beautiful and accusatory, even as Isabela withdrew her daggers with a professional nod and launched herself at the demon.
_There was no blood as Fenris sank to his knees. _
"Saoirse Hawke, you must _fight," _Justice said. "I would not see you harmed."
She couldn't bring herself to move as the demon charged towards her. Even when Justice's glowing hand grasped her arm, the raw pulse of the fade stronger under the skin of the man she loved, all she could see was the slumped form in front of her. "_Please _love_."_
The elf's body faded from sight. A massive, purple, clawed fist slammed into the ground inches from her boot and she was thrown backwards.
"Saoirse, dammit!" Isabela sliced in and hamstrung the demon before the second claw could scoop up her unresisting body, and Justice swung his staff upwards, channelling a massive burst of electricity. The demon screamed, clawing at the air, before falling backwards. Isabela lost no time but plunged her daggers into its brain casing, and the demon twitched and died.
"Bela," she blinked. "Bela you killed him."
"Damned right I did, pet," the rogue said, sheathing her daggers and sauntering back to where Justice knelt beside her. "It was either that or he would have killed you and I don't know about you being all magical as you are, but I know _I_ don't fancy being _tranquil."_
"This is the boy Feynriel's dream, not ours," Justice said, healing magic dying on his hands as he realised she wasn't hurt, just stunned. "The elf is not dead. Nor is he tranquil. He will awaken back in the alienage with the knowledge of his betrayal fresh in his mind, we hope."
She let out a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. "You mean it won't kill us? Or tranquil us?"
Justice sat back on his… _Anders' _heels. "It will not," he said.
"Could have _mentioned _that, spirit boy," Isabela said. "It was a wrench stabbing someone that pretty so lethally."
Saoirse reached out a hand and found Isabela's thin, strong, brown arm and squeezed it. "Thank you Bela," she said softly.
The Pirate winked at her. "I'll just add it to the long list of ones you owe me, pet," she said. Saoirse laughed weakly as Justice helped her to her feet. She unconsciously ran a finger across his knuckles as he took her hand, something she would do in the waking world, were it Anders helping her, and she was startled when the hand was pulled back abruptly. And hurt.
"There is another demon close by," Justice said, and he was frowning slightly, looking down at his hand as though it pained him. "We must find and defeat it before we can hope to free Feynriel." He started towards the door and Isabela sighed.
"You know, there are lots of things I envy about you, Hawke," she said, patting her shoulder and starting them moving. "But at the moment, I think you'd be happier if you'd stuck to the old right hand."
Saoirse narrowed her eyes. "How do you know I use my _right _hand, Bel?" she said.
Isabela let her eyes flick down to where she was holding her staff and grinned. "You didn't get such strong fingers from writing manifestos, sweet thing."
"Maker's balls, Isabela."
"These things are _important."_
"I require your assistance," Justice's voice came through the open doorway, and the two women startled and followed.
* * *
><p>"I like big boats, I cannot lie."<p>
Saoirse felt this one like a punch to the gut, but she shook herself and channeled magic without thought, blasting Isabela hard before the rogue even had time to unsheathe her daggers. Justice tangled with the desire demon and it fell almost as quickly, her eerie wail giving voice to the hurt she felt in her chest at her friend's betrayal.
"Why did they give in?" she asked in a small voice, watching the corpses fade. She turned then, accusatory eyes on the man next to her, consciously echoing words Anders had said, deep in the sewers, faced with the raving insanity of Tahrone. "Can't you people say _no?"_
"The touch of a demon in the fade is more potent, especially to those not used to them," Justice said, and she could hear compassion in that voice, where previously she'd only been able to hear anger. "Had the demons attempted to pervert you, you would have felt how difficult it is to resist. Do not blame your friends. They had no defenses."
She was shaking her head. "I've faced demons before, Justice," she said. "In the fade and out of it. They've tried to tempt me and they have _failed."_
"You are an uncommon woman, Hawke," Justice said.
She cocked an eyebrow. "Are you saying Isabela and Fenris are _common?"_
He shook his head. "You are a mage. And you have been trained. Your father was skilled and cautious - better than those who trained Anders in the Tower, and you learned _well," _Justice seemed almost to be smiling as he talked. "Do not underestimate your own talents in an attempt to think better of your friends."
She couldn't repress a quirk of a smile. "Justice, are you trying to say you _like _me?"
The spirit stepped back, suddenly awkward. "My personal feelings are not relevant, Saoirse Hawke."
She frowned. "That's not true, Justice," she said. "Anders doesn't think so. Neither do I."
"It is not important," Justice said, starting for the door. "What is important now is Feynriel."
"Justice stop."
"We do not have _time. _The boy's mind hangs in the balance. We must save him!"
"Justice!"
He turned back to her, snarling. "There are things more important than you or I here, Saoirse Hawke."
"I…" she sighed. He was right. "Very well."
When he was safe and they were back in the mansion, after Fenris and Isabela had slunk away out of the Alienage, eyes haunted with betrayal, even as Sebastian's were full of smug righteousness, Anders tried to smooth the tension from her shoulders with strong fingers and light magic. She sighed and leaned back against him.
"Is it bothering you?" he asked. He didn't mean Isabela and Fenris.
"You could have explained it better."
He sighed. "I haven't been back to the fade since Justice," he said. "Not consciously, not like that. I… tried to avoid it. It's disturbing when he takes over."
"But you knew he _would," _she shifted away from his fingers, even though she ached to be touched by him, the many layers of hurt over Sebastian, Fenris and Isabela's small and big betrayals desperately needing to be eased by his clever hands. "Anders you said you were _one."_
"We _are."_
She sat up, turning to face him. "Yet you can conveniently split off into different personalities whenever the mood _takes _you…"
"No. No we can't, Saoirse. You know there's a definite line between us - you saw it in the deep roads. It's just that that line is only brought out when we're in discord… I remember… I remember everything we said to you in the Fade. I remember _thinking _it. I just… I'm different there."
She shook her head. "I… he…" He cupped her face in one hand and gently brushed his thumb over her cheekbone. She couldn't help leaning into it.
"He cares for you just as I do - he can't _not. _But it's different for him. I'm a…" he dropped his hand and looked into the fire, eyes shadowed, mouth quirking. "I'm a person with a purpose," he said finally. "He's a purpose within a person. Does that make sense?"
She laughed helplessly. "Not at all."
His lips formed a wry smile. "Well, that's good to know."
She sighed and hugged herself, cross legged now on the bed. "I worry, that's all. About us. About what he _thinks_ of us. You said he didn't approve - and I just thought then… that it didn't matter. But he's _in there _and he… while I don't think he should be driving you so hard, I don't want him… tagging along in a relationship he doesn't want. That's…" She shivered. "That's a little creepy, to be honest."
Anders looked surprised for a moment. "It's not important to him," he said after a pause. "He doesn't mind…"
She made a face. "See, that's almost worse," she said pushing off the bed and making her way to the fire. "That he could be indifferent to something that's so important to _you…"_
Anders rested his forehead in his hands, heaving a deep sigh. "I used the wrong words. He admires you. He _likes _you. I think he'd call you his friend."
She cocked an eyebrow at him. "So when you're _fucking _me what is _he _thinking?"
Anders winced. "I wouldn't know."
"Perhaps you should ask."
"Saoirse…"
Her shoulders slumped and she shook her head. "I don't have the energy for this," she said.
He was very still, sitting on the bed. "I can't just… talk to him like that. But… for what it's worth…" he frowned, then got up and came to her, hesitantly wrapping his arms around her. She leaned into the familiar embrace. "Kristoff, the man whose body Justice inhabited before me… he was married. To a woman named Aura. Justice used to speak about what they had, he remembered bits and pieces, you understand, nothing truly concrete, just images and feelings…
"When I first started…" he swallowed, "thinking about you he was appalled. Because it was so much more intense. _Everything_ was more intense for him, being in me. I'm not a corpse, and my feelings aren't compartmentalised into boxes that are closed and finished, not the way Kristoff's were. He thought I was… consumed by lust, like the worst kind of desire demon, and he tried to keep me away from you."
She shut her eyes. "How did you convince him otherwise?"
He laughed. "I didn't. It wasn't until… our first night that he understood those feelings didn't have to lead to something destructive."
She frowned again. "That's not exactly reassuring, Anders."
He leaned his chin on the top of her head, hands stroking down her arms and fingers entwining with hers. "The morning after, he was thinking of Aura. He envied what they'd had, when he was in Amaranthine, envied it without truly knowing what it was. Now… he doesn't envy it any more."
"He doesn't feel the same way about me as you do," she said softly.
Anders shook his head. "No." She craned her head around so she could see his face. "But he cares for you, Saoirse. Never doubt that."
She reached up to run a hand along his jaw, tucking a strand of his hair behind an ear. "I suppose that will have to do," she said, leaning up to kiss him. He returned the kiss, sighing into her mouth, and she felt the tension leaving his shoulders.
_It was enough._
23. Battles
Part of him was enjoying being down here, even though they were trapped with very little chance of getting out, even with the mage wincing and mumbling every time they ran across that red lyrium or went into a room that was too small - Maker, they'd been in _caverns _that made the man twitch - it almost made him wander exactly what the Templars had done to make him so… _no, don't think about that…_
He felt useful. He was _good _at killing darkspawn, he's found. Good at being out the front of their little party, taking advantage of Saoirse's ice magic, dodging her fireballs, scything through the flimsy, pieced together armour of hurlocks with his sword like it was soft fruit.
It was when he took down the ogre that he started to feel his confidence rise past the point it had been since the day Beth died. _This time _he hadn't been young and hopeless and afraid and everything he'd despised about himself since Ostagar. That Saoirse had _also _failed that day had been the only thing that made it bearable - but even that had the sting of mother blaming _her _and not him.
It was not the relief it should have been.
He wanted to be the one blamed.
"What is this place?" he heard his sister asking Varric. They'd been traveling for days since Bartrand's betrayal - running into darkspawn and profane and mouthy abominations (_not _counting Anders) and conversation was rare.
"This is the vault," Varric's voice. "The dwarves would have brought their…" The noise of rocks bashing together was the stuff of nightmares, all the more frightening for being slow and measured thumps rather than the rapid patter that would signify the cavern collapsing about them. This was… something that _thought. _Rocks with malice. "….Oh, that can't be good," Varric finished. Saoirse said something in reply but it was lost in the noise that was quickly becoming deafening.
Not good on _any _level and when the massive rock-wraith took form in front of him Carver had a moment of abject terror before adrenalin kicked in and he started to attack.
"Carver!" Anders' voice was hoarse with strain, already. "It's held together with magic - don't bother attacking the rock, just the fire within."
He nodded, shifting Celene in his grip and lunging foward, ducking under one massive rock fist as it slammed into the ground, knocking Varric off his feet. The dwarf scrambled away, desperately looking for higher ground from which to effectively use Bianca, despite that the crossbows' arrows bounced ineffectually off the rock carapace of the magical beast.
He dodged, weaved and struck, again, and again and again. Magic seemed to bounce through the cavern with little or no reason, and even though he knew both Anders and Saoirse were experienced enough not to hit him by accident he still found himself wincing when a fireball or rock fist shot past him. Nothing could ever make one used to fighting with magic, he was of that firm opinion and always had been…
"Profane!" Saoirse's voice was penetrating.
"I'll deal with them," Anders shouted back, "concentrate on the big one."
Carver felt heat on his back as lightning arced from Profane to Profane, destroying the connectors between their limbs and collapsing them into harmless piles of rocks. He felt a surge of energy - Anders flooding him with magical vitality - as he lunged forward, trying to sever those same connectors on the massive wraith as Saoirse attempted to slow it with ice spells, and then he leapt, aiming for the glowing red centre. He _wasn't _fast, but he was fast enough for this, and as he plunged his sword into the nexus of energy he let out an almighty yell, the impact enough to shake his very bones.
When he came back to himself, kneeling on the rock floor of the cavern, he was suddenly aware of Varric's voice - faint, lacking confidence - different entirely from the dwarf's usual cocky surety.
"Blondie, I hope you can sodding heal this or Bianca is going to emasculate you."
"Shut up, Varric," Sisi's voice was choked with what sounded like tears. "We've got you."
Carver turned to them, only just resisting the urge to point out that he'd brought down the biggest thing they'd ever fought - including that sodding dragon at the bone pit, to see Anders and his sister crowded around Varric who…
Carver swallowed. The wraith had stood on him, that much was obvious.
It was the kind of wound you didn't get up from. Even with magical help.
"What happened?" he asked. Anders glanced up at him.
"We hardly have time for explanations, Carver," he said shortly.
He wanted to snarl at the mage - it seemed he was always finding ways to get under his skin - but as much as he hated to admit it - it really _wasn't _the time.
"I don't have any lyrium," Saoirse was saying, desperation crowding out the tears. "Anders… I can't…"
"There's lyrium _everywhere _down here," Carver grumbled. "Beats me why you can't use _that…"_
The look the two mages gave each other was suddenly intense.
"Justice…" Anders said, voice hesitant. "Justice could use it."
"But you can't call him at will."
"…I don't… I'm not sure. To be honest, I've never really tried… I'm too scared of what…"
"Blondie if your blue friend can fix my legs I'll risk it," Varric coughed. "Just… try not to kill the rest of us while you're doing it. Don't fancy walking up to the surface on my own."
"Varric… I might…"
"Shut up Anders," Saoirse was taking charge, and part of him - a part he would never consciously acknowledge - was relieved. "We'll deal with Justice if it comes to that."
Anders face was anguished. "Shei you don't _know…"_
"Abominations? I kill ten before breakfast. _Did _actually, today, I do believe. And Varric will _die. _You don't want that and I don't believe Justice does either."
"Sister I don't think…"
"Carver you be handy with that damned sword of yours. You've been itching to hit him since we got down here - if things go bad you'll have your chance."
"Somehow the idea that you'll be giving your brother permission to hit me isn't very reassuring, Shei…" Anders said, and there was a definite note of fondness in his tone. When had he started calling her that?
"I could always hit you _now _mage."
"Carver, be a good arseface and shut up. Anders… there's a vein right here. Concentrate for me."
His sister and Anders stood close to one of the twisting veins, their foreheads almost touching. Carver moved closer to Varric as Anders reached out one hand to lay it on the vein, looking down to see the dwarf's brown eyes strained with pain. He clutched the crossbow to him with one hand like the lover he professed her to be.
"Shh Baby," Varric said. "Blondie'll fix us. He can fix anything."
_Except himself, _Carver thought, shifting from foot to foot. _What a damned mess._
The two mages spent what seemed to be an eternity at the wall - doing mage-y things and talking in low voices. Anders was reluctant - even Carver could see that, and Saoirse's earnest, persuasive tone was only going so far. Finally he saw her take the other mage's hand in hers - the sternest of her stern looks firmly in place - and as the warden's features contracted in fierce determination Carver drew Celene and settled into a fighting stance.
Blue light flared, black smoke rose from Anders' form and Saoirse dropped the hand she had been holding as though it burned. Anders placed blueflecked palms on the wall and the small hairs at the base of Carver's neck stood on end as power pulsed through the rock and into the mage.
"Not going nuts and killing us all?" Varric's voice was weak and Carver shook his head.
"Seems not," Carver said. "Looks like it's your lucky day."
"You mean I get to die down here of starvation or suffocation with the rest of you?" Varric's smile was flecked with blood. "I'm so pleased."
"If you push it you might be able to manage death in a cave-in," Carver said, trying to match the dwarf's light tone, but failing. He swallowed as Anders and Sisi came back - Anders still glowing the unearthly blue that signified what Carver could only think of as his possession. He tightened his grip on Celene's hilt, but the mage gave no sign of aggression, merely knelt by the almost unconscious dwarf and began channelling magic. Carver glanced at his sister, who shrugged.
"Is healing me a just act then, Blondie?" Varric coughed out. "Or is this a waste of precious resources?"
"Be silent," Anders said, but it wasn't Anders' voice and Carver was taken back to that moment in the chantry…
_You'll know what to do, son, and I'm trusting you to do it… _He could almost hear his father's voice.
"You're not Anders or you'd know how unlikely I am to follow _that _little suggestion…" Varric was saying.
"Speaking will not aid the healing process, Varric Tethras," Anders said.
"Why are you still… like that…?" Carver blurted out. "Now that you've got your power boost from the lyrium surely uh… normal Anders would be better at…"
"I have the same skills, just as he has mine. I am, however, more powerful. Healing will be faster and more effective, just as all our spells are. Now please, cease to distract me with questions."
Power started flowing into the dwarf and Carver looked away - there was something truly unsettling about watching flesh and bone move back into place with nothing but the application of another will - no matter how many times he'd been on the receiving end of the same kind of magic.
Varric let out a pained groan as the last bit of magic flowed out of Anders and Carver winced. The blue glow surrounding the warden mage faded and Anders gasped for breath.
"Well now' Varric's voice was back to his usual strength and Carver saw the colour had come back to his cheeks. "Looks like I won't even have to get a new coat - although it'll take a bit to get the bloodstains out. Don't suppose there's a spell for that is there Blondie?"
"You'd be surprised," Anders gasped, on the edge of exhaustion, "washing duty was a common punishment in the Tower - it's amazing how creative you can get if it means getting out of scrubbing sheets."
Sisi laid her hand on Anders' shoulder, gently, propriatorially, and Carver felt himself tense even more.
"You did brilliantly, Anders," she said softly.
"Thank Justice."
"Could you do that again?" Carver asked. "Bring him out at will? He said he was more powerful than you."
Anders looked uncomfortable. "I wouldn't want to make a habit of it," he said. "If something went wrong it could be dangerous for more than just our enemies."
"Let's not then," Carver said, and Sisi glared at him as she helped Varric to his feet..
"Try to be a bit less of a tit to the man who saved Varric's life, would you brother?"
Carver grunted. "I wasn't…" but she glared at him and he sighed as they walked off. He didn't know why he bothered, really. It wasn't as if she gave a shit what he thought.
24. Tainted
The stash they uncovered almost made up fot the near-disaster Varric's injury had visited on them. Packs mostly empty meant they could carry enough valuables to make them richer than Carver's wildest imaginings.
…provided they could make it out somewhere to spend it.
"You all right Junior?" Varric was standing right near his elbow. Maker but the dwarf could move silently when he wanted to. He realised he'd been standing looking at the same handful of gemstones for minutes - not really registering what he was seeing. His head felt fuzzy and _wrong _and he shook it in an attempt to clear it.
"Fine," he said, and Varric patted his arm jovially before going back to filling his pack and his pockets.
"If we're here for much longer we'll be wishing these were bread and cheese," Anders said, hefting a golden statue. Carver rolled his eyes. Trust the mage to see the worst in a situation.
"Cheer up Blondie," Varric said. 'Think of all the bandages you can buy - or all the paint - you could redecorate the clinic - put in a few potplants, a chaise lounge for your well-to-do patients…"
"I don't have any well to do patients," Anders said, grinning slightly.
"You will, Blondie. Once they find out they can go to you for their… _special _problems. You really should advertise that skill of yours you could make a _lot _of coin…"
"Forgive me if I put treating venereal disesases down low on my list of how I want to spend my limited resources, Varric."
"I'm a dwarf. We go where the money is."
"And in your opinion the money is in the crotches of Kirwall's nobility?"
"Hey - it's a renewable resource!"
"Anders will have enough money not to have to run the clinic at all any more, Varric," Carver said shortly as Saoirse picked up what looked like a tiara with, of all things, a _griffon _carved on it. "Sisi, we don't _need _that…"
"But I _like _it," she was smiling. "I could wear it while I do dishes and laundry."
"I'll be keeping the clinic open, Carver," Anders said, standing close to him and watching Saoirse as she laughed. "There are reasons for it. It's needed."
"Suit yourself, mage-y," Carver shrugged, trying to ignore the pounding in his head.
"It's not _for _me," the mage kept talking, but Carver tuned him out - suddenly more than uneasy. It was an itch in his blood, an urge to reach the surface, he thought, pulling him away from here, away from _him, _the darkspawn, the caverns… all of it. It felt like months since he'd seen the sky.
When Saoirse motioned for them to go he hefted his much heavier pack and followed her gratefully. The deep roads had been full of trouble and heartache and he wanted nothing more than to get out and never come back.
…He couldn't remember exactly when it had started - he only knew that walking was hard. He'd thought at first it was just hunger - but he'd done hunger before. After Ostagar. Fleeing from Lothering. In the refugee camps outside Kirkwall where you had to fight to hold onto a crust of mouldy bread. But this… this dizziness and nausea… it wasn't hunger.
He knew what it was. Deep in his gut he knew. He remembered Aveline thrusting the knife home into Wesley's chest, remembered the pattern of corruption on his skin…
Saoirse would do it for him. Perhaps that was why he was delaying telling her. It was another thing he'd failed at - another burden she would have to bear for him.
So he forced each foot in front of the other, willing it not to be so, hoping he hadn't been as stupid as he knew he was - after all Anders' imprecations - all his warnings about keeping himself free of the taint - in the end, Carver hadn't.
"This part of the deep roads looks familiar," Saoirse said
"We're back where we started, and in only five days. Not bad eh?" Varric's voice faded in and out and Carver realised suddenly he couldn't… just _couldn't _take another step…
"Think we could take a break?" he said. "I feel wrong.."
"I think all of our stomachs are feeling a little tender right now," he could hear the grin in his sister's voice.
"I'll wager it was those deep mushrooms we found," Varric said.
"No. It's…" He fell. He dimly felt the impact on his knees, wondered why it didn't hurt more for a few seconds before realising it was simply lost in the aches that burned through his whole body. Taint. Blight. Death.
"It's the blight," Anders said. _Well, that's confirmed then._ "I can sense it."
"Just like that templar, Wesley," he muttered, unaware, now, if he was speaking out loud or simply dreaming. "I'll be just as dead. Just as gone."
He could feel Saoirse's hands on his shoulders. "This is just like you," she said, "keeping it to yourself."
"I'm not going to make it. Not to the surface. Not anywhere. It's getting worse."
"There might be something we can do…." Anders voice faded in and out, but the gist of what he was saying got through to Carver, enough so he tried to sit more upright. There were wardens in this part of the deep roads - looking for Anders - not looking for him. Doing _something. _Something that gave Carver an inch or two of hope.
"And what?" he said, "become a grey warden?" The witch - Flemeth, had said that was the only way to cure the blight. They'd been too far away to help Wesley. But if Anders knew where they were… if Anders knew… how it was done…
"Is becoming a grey warden a cure?" Saoirse sounded hopeful. Anders, however, did not.
"Yes, I suppose it is. But it's not without a price. One not everyone is willing to pay."
"What price? Maker's breath, spit it out!"
Carver blinked, trying to bring the blond mage into focus again. He was scowling, his usual expression, truly, but Carver thought he caught a glimpse of something else in those eyes - fear? Sympathy? It was hard to tell and the pounding in his head was so very relentless…
"The process of becoming a warden is unpleasant. And irreversible. It also means you might never see your brother again. He might survive the Blight, but at the cost of becoming a grey warden. It's not an easy life, trust me."
"What about you?" Saoirse said. "You're not a grey warden any more."
The laugh Anders let out was bitter. "You think I got away? Eventually they or the circle will drag me back. I've got no illusions about that."
"This just keeps sounding better and better," Carver muttered. Saoirse's eyes swam in front of his face and he tried his best to give her a reassuring smile.
What came out was probably closer to a grimace.
"Come on then you," she said, hoisting him to his feet. For a mage and a woman she was surprisingly strong. He had a sudden, overwhelming flash of memory - Saoirse and he helping father with the calving, the fifteen year old girl - towering over him at ten, lifting one of the baby animals in two arms, covered in blood and gunk and laughing her head off.
It was a good memory. He tried to hold onto it.
There were darkspawn, somehow he knew it before they even appeared, and somehow he managed to scramble out of the way so that Saoirse and the others could dispatch them. Then, there were voices.
"…_..Anders…"_
Bits and pieces of memory kept floating to the top of his mind, Bethany when she'd first shown signs of magic…
"_Fancy meeting you here…"_
"…_.You mean the boy as a recruit. Of course you do….."_
…Father, handing him his first sword, pommel first, smiling that damnable grin of his…
"…_..you'd be an idiot to refuse him."_
"_Stroud trust me when I say this one is worth your time…"_
Mother lecturing Saoirse while Carver rubbed broken knuckles from punching a boy who'd called her a whore…
"…_.may be as much a death sentence as the sickness and you know it."_
"…_..Take him and try. I'm _asking_ you."_
Anders in the Chantry, glowing blue in righteous fury over the tranquility of his lover, Saoirse standing firm and strong next to him despite the crackling _presence _of the spirit within him…
"_If the boy comes, he comes now. Being a grey warden is not a cure. It is a calling."_
When the voices fell silent Carver shook his head, feeling again the strength of his sister's arm around his shoulders. It was a comforting thing - the embrace of family. He wondered why he'd never felt that way before.
"Are you sure about this?" he asked her.
"I'm not sure about anything," she responded, and the next words made him blink away tears, "but I want you to live."
The warden - _Stroud _was stern faced and grim. "We must move quickly if we are to reach the surface in time," he said, and Carver tried to repress a groan.
"Then, I guess this is it," a thousand things he could say to her crossed his mind but wouldn't pass his lips. Not… _I love you sister, _or, _thank you for trusting me enough to take me down here, even if I did screw it up, _or even _Father would have been proud… _instead, "take care of mother," which he immediately hated himself for saying, but it was too late to take the words back and Saoirse was transferring his weight to that of two other wardens and suddenly he was being taken away - away from everything he'd ever known and into something new and different that might kill him…
He glanced back over his shoulder to see her standing, watching them go.
25. Small Things
It can be hard to tell when the elf is in a less than stellar mood. His demeanor is stony, save for a few moments only she seems to see amongst the crew, a gentle smile here, a small chuckle there, the quiet languidness of post-coital relaxation, when his fingers curl in her hair or on her breast, sweat cooling on their skins, the gentle rocking of the ship's movement the only thing reminding them of where they are.
It starts with small things.
"I fail to see why you continue to run errands for the mage," he snaps at her one morning, as they leave port at Diarsmuid - a city that he despises for many reasons, not the least of which the Rivaini seer who looks too much like her mother who had tried to palm his tattoos and tell his fortune.
"I'm not running them for _Anders, _sweet thing," she says. "I'm doing it for Hawke. And you didn't complain about it when we started."
"When we started I didn't believe we'd regularly have a hold full of apostates. It is not safe."
She tosses her head and laughs at him. "You _hate _safe."
His lips twitch, but his pained expression continues on and off for the rest of the day.
He thinks she doesn't notice, but she spent too many years watching him not to realise that there's something _else _bothering him.
"Isabela!" he does _not _raise his voice often, but when he does she feels it tingle through her, straight to her stomach, lower, and she smirks, lowering the sextant as he stalks towards her across the deck.
"Fenris, I _do _wish you'd call me captain…"
"We need to make port immediately. These _imbeciles _will kill us all if we keep them on board any longer."
"What have they done now?"
"One of them was attempting to keep the hold warm with _fire."_
She sighs. "I'm going to assume you convinced them it was a bad idea," she says.
"He will not be doing so again."
She reaches a hand out, but he flinches back and she narrows her eyes. "Fine," she says. "Just don't kill any of them. That's not the agreement and you know it."
"_Vishante kaffas… _they test my patience," he says, although his voice softens. "Always."
"I know they do sweet thing," she throws up her hands. "But just think! If Anders succeeds soon they'll all be free and…"
He growls and she reaches forward to tweak his nose, laughing. He pulls away, but it's habit, not the flinch she saw before and she notices his hand twitch towards her. Later he is smiling when he falls asleep next to her and she slips out of their bunk to her table, but the course she needs to chart stays uncharted and she rests her chin on her hand and watches him sleep.
He twitches occasionally. Once he softly cries out a name.
The dreams are getting worse.
He sleeps in her cabin. He's not sure why that happened. They'd certainly never said anything… or fixed anything as permanent in their time in Kirkwall. Perhaps permanency is something neither of them wants.
_She thinks sometimes that perhaps it's something both of them need._
At night sometimes he smooths sweaty hair from her brow and kisses the freckles near her temple while she sleeps.
In the morning she wakes him with a gentle finger along the ridge of one ear - a place he has never let anyone else touch without harm.
The crew respect and fear him. He is a natural sailor, nimble, fast, strong. Able to solve problems between crew members with a quick word and a gentle reminder of the power he wields. He has not had cause to hurt any of them, but a flash of blue light is enough to frighten the biggest of them into submission. Discipline has never been tighter.
The mages they transport are terrified of him. She sometimes thinks their fear pleases him more than it should, but then she remembers how much fear he has tasted from their kind, and cannot find it in her heart to begrudge it to him. He is free now, and he is helping them achieve their freedom in return. He doesn't have to like them.
In her cabin (and she still thinks of it as _hers _and not _theirs, _despite that he is there with her, nearly always) she moves to touch him a way she has touched him countless times before, yet he hisses and draws back.
"What? What is it?"
"It is nothing."
"It didn't _sound _like nothing, Fenris." She doesn't use his name often. She has many pet names for her crew and for him - almost as many as Varric - and mostly he is "sweet thing" or "lanky" or "bright eyes". When she calls him Fenris she is being serious.
She asked him once, if he wanted to be called Leto.
He said no.
"Do not concern yourself, Isabela."
She props herself up on one elbow and looks at him, sitting on the side of their bunk (while it is _her _cabin, it is _their _bunk and she doesn't let herself examine that too closely for fear of what it might mean). He ducks his head, in that way he has, self effacing, trying to avoid punishment. It's a habit - a leftover from his time as a slave, and it makes a part of her ache. "Fenris. If something is wrong you should tell me."
He raises an eyebrow at her. "Why?"
She purses her lips. "You're impossible," she reaches forward and he flinches…
…_flinches._
She frowns. "Have I… hurt you somehow? Has one of the crew? I swear that bastard Lewis has it in for you, I should never have…"
_"No, _Isabela. No one has hurt me."
She looks at him for a long, long moment.
"There, now, sweet thing, is a lie and a half. And I should know."
He narrows his eyes at her, but she doesn't back down. She didn't get where she was by backing down, didn't get _him _to come with her on this fool voyage just to have him shut off and be… more brooding than normal.
"My markings," he says finally. "They… are behaving oddly."
She leans back, considering. "Painful?"
He gives one short nod, mouth pressed tightly together. "I… do not know what to do." He glances at her, head still dipped low. "I suspect I may be dangerous." She smiles. He shakes his head closing his eyes. "Not like that. Not… the way you think." He holds up his hand and makes a fist, watching the play of white lines, then with a brief burst of concentration she sees the power flare and…
…splutter out. Like a candle. "Sometimes it does this. Sometimes it refuses to obey my commands at all. And sometimes…" grits his teeth. "Sometimes it flares without warning." He looks back to her, pained. "I am dangerous. I should sleep in the hold, away from you. If this happens when I am sleeping…"
She shakes her head. "I can look after myself. And you keep me warm at night."
"You're not worried I might accidentally punch my fist through your chest?"
"Sweetheart, it's not your fist I want in me. Although I wouldn't say no if nothing else was on offer."
He barks out a laugh. "I do not wish to harm you, Isabela."
"Then don't."
He frowned. "I… think I need to ask one of the…" he curls his lip _"mages…_ if they know what is wrong." She could feel how much those words cost him. "Danarius… used to make me do things. He always said he was maintaining the lyrium, whatever that meant. I thought it was just an excuse for him to hurt me. But… perhaps I…" he swallows, obviously not liking the train of his own thoughts, "perhaps I _needed_ it?"
She winced at the mention of his former master. Few things had given her greater pleasure than watching Fenris snap the magister's neck. "These are circle mages, Fenris," she says, sitting up and resting her elbows on her knees. "I doubt they'd know much about Tevinter rituals. And didn't you say Danarius was the only one who had ever done this?"
"Well, I can't ask _him, _can I?" Fenris snarls.
She leans back and laughs - forcing the sound light. "Naturally not, since you very convincingly killed him. And I'm not willing to take the ship to Tevinter to ask any of his… _colleagues_, unless you think that's the only option?"
He looks at his hands and takes a deep breath. "I can go by myself, if I have to. I got away once."
The idea she has will probably be about as popular as going to Tevinter with him, but she has to voice it. "Anders might know."
The temper explosion isn't quite as bad as she was expecting.
But it _is _bad.
26. Sanctuary
It happens more and more often. He is running out of ways to hide it from her. It is a good thing they have left the ship moored safely behind them, traveling towards Orzammar overland, because in the close confines of that environment _someone _would have been hurt. At least in the open, here, he can be certain the only person in danger is Isabela.
And yet the thought that he may end up hurting her is driving him mad, and he is unable to hide his irritation, unable to stop himself from ordering her away from him when she touches him, when she tries to sleep next to him - things they have been doing for years, things that he knows are as natural to _her _as breathing. She complains, bitterly, and occasionally he relents, but there are things he will no longer risk and she jokes that if they don't reach Anders soon _she'll _start magically fisting herself and he laughs a little, at that, glad the mages are out of earshot.
The pain he _can _hide, and does, because pain is easy, pain is something he has, always and forever, experienced more of than that which he feels now.
He tells himself that this pain he is experiencing in freedom, well aware that all freedoms are relative.
"You're not happy."
"Should I be?"
She shrugs. "Probably not. Never stops me though."
"We're trudging through freezing mountains to a dwarven city with a group of apostate mages, seeking the help of a man I despise for an ailment that was foisted on me by my former _master _with, I might add, no knowledge of whether he can or cannot help. Tell me something I can be _happy _about, Isabela."
She winks at him. _"I'm_ here."
He cannot help but smile.
The dwarves seem shocked to see him, even more shocked by his tattoos. He suspects their leader, Bhelen, would like to strip it from his flesh - it is obviously lyrium that he did not sanction the sale of, and he knows enough from Hawke's reports that this monarch considers all lyrium, even that which goes towards keeping the templars docile and under the chantry's sway, is simply on loan until he can find away to make money from it again.
There is a mage, living in the city, who stays to guide those who come seeking Anders and Hawke to their base. Fenris and Isabela do not know exactly where that base is, and none of the mages who go down there return or are seen again, save in fleeting glimpses during lightning attacks on chantry strongholds. People have come to fear them the way they once feared the darkspawn, erupting from the earth, although they are more organised and do not attack civilians.
That doesn't mean civilians do not get caught in the crossfire. But there are stories of some mages staying to heal villagers who have been injured afterwards, stories of at least one group of mages who go from town to town, not attacking chantries or templars, but simply offering services to those who would not previously be able to, delivering children, healing disease, even helping with farming.
He suspects Hawke of being with that group more often than not.
The pale, young mage who leads them into the deep roads is, he realises when they are attacked by darkspawn the second day underground, a warden. The way she cocks her head on one side, then motions them back tells him more about how much she's had to fight than anything else could have. There is a practiced ease in the way she informs them how many darkspawn there are.
The apostates they travel with are hopelessly inept, and it is up to the mage and he and Isabela to protect them. Even then, one of the apostates falls to a darkspawn arrow. They manage to heal him, but it's obvious he's tainted. A few more days into the roads and the little warden mage pulls the tainted one aside.
When she comes back, he's dead. Fenris, who knows what happened to Carver, raises an eyebrow at Isabela, who shakes her head.
The other apostates look miserable and Fenris can even find it in his heart to pity them.
He finds himself next to the warden mage, who's name is Ciara, two days after the death of the tainted mage. "How old are you?" he asks her softly. She cocks a cynical eyebrow at him.
"I don't know, Serah," she says bluntly. "They didn't tell me, when I was in the _Gallows,_ when my name day was. And I don't remember my parents."
He swallows.
They meet up with the Legion of the dead when they've been underground for a week and Fenris is beginning to forget what daylight looks like. Bela is worse off than he is - he can tell she is suffering, wondering how her ship is faring, and his heart aches for her.
"I should have come alone," he says to her one night, frustrated, sitting by their small fire amidst debris and bones and shattered armour and taint and darkness and death.
She shakes her head, smiling. "Don't be stupid," she says.
"You're the one being stupid."
"Do you want to reexamine that statement, lanky, or do you want my dagger in your gut?"
"If something were to happen to you I…"
She doesn't interrupt him. She just sits there, bathed in firelight, a slight smile on her lips. He remembers when she left them, back in Kirkwall, what he'd said when they'd found her letter. _Once a thief, always a thief. _Oh yes, he has changed since then. So has she.
He swallows and looks down. "I do not want you harmed, Isabela."
There is a pause, then he feels her breath on his ear briefly, her hand on his thigh, even though he has warned her to stay away from him…
…she was never good at following warnings.
She doesn't say anything, just kisses the skin at the base of his ear and squeezes his thigh hard, once, before moving away again. He represses a groan, stops himself from pulling her to him, because he _isn't safe, _he is as bad as a… as an _abomination_ and no matter the darkspawn and spiders and mages surrounding them he is more likely to do her harm than anything else.
It makes him angry.
The young mage has assured them they are only a few days away from their destination when he feels the flare of power. He cannot repress the cry of pain that tears through him as he falls to the floor, but he _does _manage to hold up a hand and warn the Legionnaire nearest him to stay back. It lasts far longer than it has before - hours, days, minutes, he doesn't know, although he suspects it's longer than any of them like.
When he comes back to himself he is rolled in a blanket, in camp, and Isabela is holding his hand as she sits next to him. He pulls it from her, irritated. "You should not touch me."
She pats his knee. "I know, pet. But when have I ever done what I should do?"
"You are infuriating."
"And you love it."
"Pfah."
Kadash Thaig isn't like the others. It's full of light, and there are plots where plants are growing, even livestock grazing here and there, although he has no concept of how they could have been transported through the roads. Ciara sees his look and smiles slightly. "There are easier ways to get here," she says shortly. "For obvious reasons we don't always leave via Orzammar. And the roads around here are kept _very _clear of 'spawn."
There are _children _running to and fro, over the obviously repaired streets. Houses are patched and worn, but whole. He sees a couple smiling and laughing in a doorway, another couple kissing on a bridge that spans remarkably clear water. After the gloom of the deep roads it is like a paradise - the maker's garden set underground where no one would ever suspect a treasure like this could hide.
He finds himself admiring Hawke for thinking of it. If it truly had been Hawke.
It takes a few steps for him to notice other things. A hard eyed stare from a mage in heavy robes. A man missing a leg, muttering in a corner about templars. A subtle shift in tension when one mage talks to a woman in armour - the faint shadow of an emblem that might possibly once have been a flaming sword on the breastplate.
He had known, of course, that templars as well as mages came here. And yet, it does not feel like the Gallows. There are no guards save those against the darkspawn. Perhaps… perhaps Hawke has managed to make it work.
The young mage asks them to wait before ducking into a small, neat cottage, bringing out a man he has never seen before in immaculate robes and a… somewhat ridiculous hat. He smiles reassuringly at the mages and introduces himself as Finn. Isabela yawns in what Fenris hopes is feigned boredom while the man assigns the new mages places to stay.
"Will we get to see the Champion?" one of them asks, hopefully, and Finn smiles and shakes his head. "Soon," he says, fixing Fenris and Isabela with a slightly questioning look. "She's… uh… very busy at the moment."
"What about the Healer?" another voice pipes up and Fenris has to resist the urge to shake his head. He closes his eyes and breathes deeply, reminding himself that before any chantries had been destroyed Anders had spent years with no title other than that to the people of Kirkwall. He had never been warden, apostate or abomination to the people he tended.
_How many deaths are on his head now? _he wondered. _How can he possibly think he is worthy of that name?_
Isabela's fingers on his arm make him open his eyes. Finn is there, alone, the mages having dispersed. "You must be Fenris," Finn says, smiling. Fenris resists the urge to snarl.
"Must I?"
Isabela heaves a sigh. "Ignore him, sweetheart, he's grumpy when he's underground. Where's Hawke?"
Finn gives them both a look, then shrugs. "Come with me."
He leads them through the village - for that's what it is, up past a massive statue of a golem and over a bridge to a small copse of houses that are in better repair than the others. "We started here," Finn says, "it's the most easily defendable position, and the deepstalkers didn't tend to burst out of the ground here quite so much, which I can tell you now was a bit of a relief. There's only so much of their poison you can take before your skin starts turning green and oh… I'm sorry I'm babbling… haha… uh…" The house they come to is the similar to all the others, doorways just slightly too small for comfort, but the windows are wider and the door is painted a bright, cheerful blue.
"It's her favourite colour," Finn says, grinning, and Isabela frowns. Hawke's favourite colour had been red, and he doubted the abomination ever thought long enough about colours to bother with a favourite.
Finn knocks, and there is the sound of movement within. Fenris thinks he hears Hawke's voice, and Anders' and he finds his fists have clenched by his sides.
Saoirse opens the door and sees them, a smile spreading over her face that is… comforting. He doesn't like to admit it, but he has missed her, in his way. Missed her strength.
She motions them into a small sitting room, slightly untidy, clothes strewn over a stone bench near a fire, books piled in a corner and…
…carved wooden toys in a pile on a rug.
Fenris stares at them for a few moments, blinking.
"What brings you here?" Saoirse says, as she busies herself fetching drinks. "Is there a problem with our arrangements? Are you in danger of being discovered?"
Fenris sits, clasping his hands in front of him, while Isabela leans against the fireplace. She has picked up one of the toys - a wooden mabari, and is turning it over in her hands, one eyebrow cocked.
"I need your help," he says plainly. "Or more particularly, I suspect, I need… Anders' help."
"Did I just hear that correctly?" Anders' familiar sardonic tone almost pulls a groan from Fenris, "You need my help?"
He looks up to see the mage in the doorway that leads further into the house and opens his mouth to snarl at him for being exactly the same arrogant, thoughtless… _mage _he's always been when he notices a small figure clutching at the bottom of his ridiculous coat and breathes in sharply.
She has a bright thatch of messy red hair and wide, wide, whiskey-coloured eyes and she tilts her head on one side in a gesture that is so totally _Hawke _that it almost takes his breath away.
"Da," she says. "DA."
Anders leans one hand down absently and pats the tousled head. "It's all right, ghastling, these are friends."
"My my," Isabela purrs. "Haven't you two been busy little beans."
27. Options
Hawke and Isabela take the…child elsewhere in the house (Hawke makes some quip about Isabela teaching her new words and Isabela chortles in obvious delight) and leave him alone with the mage, who looks… older than he did. Fenris had never been able to guess at the man's age - he seemed so young sometimes that he believed him younger than himself, but it was obvious now that this isn't the case. Crows feet run deep next to the large eyes, and there are streaks of grey in the blonde hair. His ever-present stubble is salt-and-pepper now.
But he is stronger - stands straighter, no longer bowed down by the dirt and despair and death of Kirkwall. They are all better to be out of that place, he thinks, even this hole in the ground is better than the madness they endured - a simple cottage with simple comforts better by far than the Hawke estate, which he hears Varric has now turned into a tavern.
"You have a child," Fenris states.
"You noticed?" Anders says, grinning slightly. Fenris feels his nostrils flare. This… is not going to help.
"She looks…" Fenris has exactly no experience with children, he has no idea what to say, "…healthy."
Anders' grin goes from sly to soft and Fenris feels a sudden ache in his chest. "She is. Strong."
"Is she a mage?"
Anders shrugs. "No way of knowing as yet," he says. "My power didn't manifest until I was twelve - Hawke's came when she was six. It will be a few years before we know."
"The chances are high though?"
"I don't know," Anders fixes him with a hard stare. "We're the only mage parents I know who have been allowed to keep their child. There's surprisingly little information to be had about that sort of thing."
"They would know - in Tevinter."
There is a long silence. "I'm not terribly keen to go and find out, though," Anders says, and Fenris snorts, smiling a little. "You didn't come here to talk about my daughter."
"No. I did not."
"So. What is it?"
Fenris looks down at his hands, at the lines along his fingers, and heaves a sigh. "My markings," he says. "They are… giving me some pain. And they are… unpredictable."
Anders' eyes widen. "Unpredictable?"
"They flare without warning. Or do not follow my commands. I have… phased through things without meaning to… I… ah… I am a danger."
The Anders he remembers would have laughed at him, he thinks. But this man simply narrows his eyes and asks,"what do you think _I _can do for you?"
He stands and paces the room. "Danarius… used to… " he stops, takes a deep breath. "He used to do things to me, with magic. Every few weeks he would… "
"Fenris… you…" Anders remains in his seat, but there is real concern in his voice. "Would you feel better telling this to Hawke?"
He shakes his head. "I.. I do not think Hawke has what I need," he says. "She is powerful, but she wasn't trained in the circle, and… I know… you spent a long time in Kirkwall, researching Tevinter spells."
"I did. But I wasn't researching ways to insert lyrium under people's skins."
"Pfah! Why must you make this more difficult?"
Anders' chuckles. "Habit, I suspect," he says. "But… you said Danarius used to…?"
Fenris clenches his jaw and closes his eyes. "Every few weeks, he would… flood my markings with magic. He said… it was necessary to _recharge _them occasionally. I did not believe him. I thought it was just another way of… exerting his control over me. Another way to cause me pain."
He opens his eyes to see Anders frowning, looking at a spot near Fenris' chest. "It hurt, when you were exposed to magic?"
"Magic… for me magic is always painful," he says.
"Even healing magic?"
"Yes."
"You never said."
"I find it preferable to be whole and alive, mage. Pain is a small price to pay for the advantages magic gives you."
"It shouldn't hurt you though," the mage gets to his feet, expression cool and clinical now - the expression he wore whenever he had a puzzle to solve - a wound to heal…
_That's what these are, _he thinks, looking at his hands. _A wound. _"May I?" Anders says, looking at Fenris and holding up a hand. "I'll… try to be gentle."
Fenris gives a short nod and Anders reaches out, lightly touching an exposed line of lyrium on Fenris' arm. He controls the urge to wince, or prepare himself for the surge of magic he knows is coming, but Anders does not cast, simply runs a warm finger along he line of lyrium, head cocked as though he is listening to something.
"The song. It's… faltering," he says, eyes closing, a frown forming behind his brows.
"Your spirit can hear it?"
Anders chuckles again. "He can always hear it. Drives me bonkers, actually, especially down here in its raw form. Yours is better, but it's still ever so slightly annoying, especially when you do that glowing thing."
As he talks, he is running his fingers along the line of the lyrium. He plucks at the leather of his armour and clicks his tongue. "Can you take this off? There's something… I need… " he heaves a breath. "I'm sorry Fenris, I know this is awkward for you. But I need to be able to feel more of the lyrium."
Fenris has tensed up, even further, if that is possible. The thought of disrobing in front of the mage is bringing back unpleasant memories, not just of his time with Danarius, but of a confrontation on the side of Sundermount, a morning after a night of something he regrets fiercely, even now, six years later.
He shoves Anders back. The healer gives a small cry of surprise that turns questioning as Fenris starts working on the toggles of his breastplate, stripping off his gauntlets first and tossing them on the one easy chair.
He pulls the breastplate off before he can reconsider and turns, facing the mage, who is watching him with a calculating eye. He has seen Fenris like this before. Many times. They fought next to each other too often for him not to be wounded seriously enough for Anders to heal, although he had always preferred that Hawke do it, there were some things he was simply _better _at - and healing had always been one of them.
Anders does him the courtesy of not talking, instead steps close enough that Fenris can smell him - leather and elfroot and magic and _man _and Fenris cannot repress the shudder this time. His hands are calloused, however, whereas Danarius' had always been smooth. Large and strong fingered and warm, where Danarius' had always been cold and somewhat clammy, with nails pointed like claws.
Anders starts at the end of one line on his palm and runs his hand all the way up to the join at his shoulder, then follows the line down his back. He hums slightly under his breath, although Fenris gets the impression it is something he is doing unconsciously, perhaps trying to sing along with whatever it is his spirit hears.
"He flooded you with magic every couple of weeks?" Anders says.
"Yes," Fenris replies.
"Can you tell me exactly what he did? What sort of magic he used?"
"Do I look like I know the difference between schools of magic?" he snarls. "It was _painful._ That's all I know."
Anders sighs. "Fenris I can't help you unless you tell me."
_"Vos tendo patientia mea," _he hisses.
"Funny, I didn't know you had any," Anders replies quickly, stepping back. "You can put your armour back on."
"You do not amuse me, mage," Fenris says, slipping his breastplate back into place.
"And I try so hard, too," the mage's mouth is quirking in a grin and Fenris has to try _very _hard not to punch the smile from his face. He doubts that Hawke or the child will appreciate it.
"You require me to tell you exactly what Danarius did?" He is disconcerted by the compassion in Anders' eyes as he nods.
"Very well."
"He would take me to a room in the centre of his estate and strap me to a table with silverite manacles," Fenris looked away, remembering. The room had always smelt of dead things. Despair. Fear. The slave pits had smelt better. "He told me if I moved too much during the process I would harm myself. Eventually… he would place his hands on my markings, here, and here," he touched each wrist. "Then he would cast. I assumed at the time it was blood magic - he had… a number of other slaves whose blood he used for that purpose, but I… could not tell you exactly what type of magic it was. I do not… I have not made a study of how different schools feel."
"No," Anders says softly. "I don't imagine you have."
"It would go on for some time, then he would stop and… replenish himself. With blood, usually, although he sometimes used lyrium the way you and Hawke do…" he shakes his head. "I suspect blood was cheaper for him, however."
There is a long silence. Anders sucks at his teeth. Shame is settling into a cold ball in Fenris' stomach - these are things he has told no one, not Hawke, not Isabela - things he would have liked to have told no one ever. Part of him is wondering if Anders is going to complete his humiliation, demand every detail of his time with Danarius, but the healer simply sits, and motions for Fenris to do the same.
"You're not going to like what I have to say," he says.
"Do I ever?"
He chuckles again, before pinching the bridge of his nose. "Lyrium isn't like other… elements, you know that well enough."
"Naturally."
"In its raw form it is unstable. Difficult to use. We cannot simply… draw power from it, at least, not easily. The refining process makes it safer, easier to use."
"Get to the point, mage."
Anders swallows. "The lyrium in your skin is deteriorating," he says. "Corrupting. When you were being… regularly infused with magic, that deterioration was held off. I'm guessing since you've been with Isabela you haven't had any magical healing?"
"Traveling as a pirate appears to be a good deal safer than living near Hawke in Kirkwall," Fenris says drily, and Anders chuckles again.
"Well now, that's part of the problem. You're not getting regular infusions of magic any longer, and your markings have… started to deteriorate as a result."
"So are you saying that you need to… do what Danarius used to do to me? To stabilise them again?"
Anders looks troubled. "I… could try that yes. We would have to experiment with what type of magic Danarius used - although considering they have only started playing up recently I suspect regular healing magic would work, no need to sacrifice any virgins or anything."
Fenris swallows. "If that is all that is required…"
"It isn't."
The mage's voice is flat and cold, and Fenris draws in a breath.
"No?" he says.
Anders shakes his head, sighing. "I'm sorry, Fenris, but there's no way to stop the deterioration of the lyrium. It needs more than just magic."
Fenris narrows his eyes. "Oh?"
"We can do one of two things," he says. "Attempt to strip the lyrium out, which from what you've said before will probably kill you."
"Yes." _Not to mention leave him practically helpless. _
"Or we can…" Anders swallows. "We can recharge it. With new lyrium."
28. Difficult to Hurt
She found him pacing in the room of the ancient tavern they had been given - a temporary holding place for the mages until they found lodgings, and a kind of… waiting room, she thought, given the number of young mages who were hanging around in the common room. She'd gotten a few catcalls and comments as she walked through, they'd made her smile, thinking of exactly what Fenris' reaction would be to them (he was sometimes _adorably_ possessive, even though he knew she was not one to be tied down) and remembering (fondly, mostly) some of her dalliances with mages. Zevran had always said they were interesting lovers.
He wasn't here, it seemed. She was equal parts disappointed and relieved. She knew the Warden and he were sometime residents of the Thaig, but Alim Surana carried enough status - in Ferelden at least - not to be bothered by the Chantry. He enjoyed a level of protection that Anders did not, and Zevran shared in it.
"What did the moody mage have to say?" she said, flinging herself into a chair and beginning to strip off her boots. Fenris turned to the fireplace and placed both hands against it, pushing as though he wished to make the room larger and shaking his head. "I…"
"Come on sweetness, don't keep me in suspense. We're talking about the future of _my sex life _here."
Fenris breathed a slow breath, obviously trying to control his temper. Usually she enjoyed pushing him close to the edge - there was something feral and dangerous and absolutely entrancing about him when he was near a rage, but tonight - tonight there was a slump to his shoulders that she didn't like _at all._
"It appears I am faced with a choice," he said, and his voice was tight. "I can continue to be a danger to everyone around me," he looked up briefly and she caught a glimpse of green through the white fall of his hair before he looked down again, "I can attempt to have the lyrium stripped from my flesh, which will… leave me dead, or at best, crippled…"
She breathed in sharply. Anders had looked morose, when he'd come into where she was talking to Hawke and the… offspring, but he always looked morose and he hadn't said _anything _to suggest that…
_"Or," _she prompted, eyes narrowing.
He looked down at his hands. Long fingered, strong, _gorgeous _hands that over the years had learned to do some _quite amazing _things to her. Things she would never admit to him that no one else had managed.
"Or I can subject myself to the same ritual Danarius performed on me fifteen years ago," he finished.
She blinked. "What?"
He gave her a withering look. "Surely you do not need me to repeat it?"
"Well, yes, sweet thing I sort of do. _Anders _knows how to do it?"
He hissed. "Of course he doesn't! He will be working from total ignorance! But then, so was _Danarius."_
"You said you were unique," she said. "No one else has markings like you do. You mean to say Danarius never tried to do it to any other slaves?"
"I doubt he had the resources," Fenris said. "Do you not remember Hawke joking about having me valued? I am worth more than your entire ship, Isabela."
She cocked an eyebrow. _You are, but not for that._ "Are you saying Anders and Hawke _do _have the resources?"
Fenris swallowed. "Anders says they have enough lyrium. It… the lyrium I have is not yet completely depleted otherwise my powers would not work at all. However…" She pulled off her remaining boot and rubbed the sole of her foot, looking at him, waiting. Fenris' fist clenched. "What they have is granted them by the King in Orzammar. It is _supposed _to be used to help the mages clear the thaigs for him. If Anders uses it to help me…"
"Sweetheart, that's _his _problem. And Hawke's. I don't think "clearing the dwarven Thaigs of darkspawn" was ever on their to do list any way."
"No, but they are here on Bhelen's sufferance. If they anger him they could be… "
She smiled slightly. "You're concerned for their safety?"
He frowned at her. "I do not believe innocents should suffer for my wellbeing." Her eyebrows shot up and he growled at her. "No matter what I may think of Anders, Hawke has always had my… friendship. And they have a child. And… the mages here… not all of them are… " He shook his head and she smirked. He would never say the words, but the meanings were there.
She stood and moved towards him, slowly. He backed up and she rolled her eyes. "Don't start with how dangerous you are again - you've yet to put your fist through anything living, not even when you were…"
"And you would wish the first person I hurt to be you?" he said.
She breathed in sharply. _You're already hurting me. _She forced a smile, but stayed where she was. "Sweetheart, I'm difficult to hurt."
_"No you are not." _Blue light flared and he bared his teeth, before it spluttered out. He growled and slammed his fist into the fireplace, and she was somewhat relieved to hear an audible _crunch._
She put on her best pout and rested her fists on her hips. "You know, you're absolutely _no fun _at the moment." The laugh that tore out of him was half sob, but at least it was a reaction, not just… a dismissal. "Fenris," she said softly. "Here's an idea. If Anders is willing to help you, _let him help you_. No matter what else you might think of the crazy bastard, he does know magic. If he thinks he can do it, he can."
He looked at her, and his jaw worked. "Isabela," he said. "When Danarius did this to me…" he held out his arms and traced one finger over one silver line, "I lost all of my memories. I do not wish that to happen again."
Her heart clenched. "At least you'd still be alive," she said, although her voice sounded small and insignificant.
"Pfah. I remember what it was like, Isabela. Anders talks of being tranquiled - I can only imagine being stripped of your memories is as close as a non-mage can come to it."
"You can make new memories," she said.
He shook his head. A small movement, but she felt it like a blow to the gut. "Everything we have shared, the past ten years? It would be gone, Isabela. I would not remember you… Hawke… _anything."_
They stood there for minutes. It felt longer. She tried to imagine what would happen if he lost his memories. On the one hand, he wouldn't remember being a slave. On the other…
How much of … of _them_ was made up of their shared pasts?
She turned around and picked up her boots and started pulling them on.
"What are you doing?" he said.
"I'm going to talk to Anders, and you're coming with me." Her second foot slid home into the boot and she stalked towards the door.
She heard the soft pad of his naked feet behind her. "Wait… I have already…"
"No you haven't, sweet thing. You're too close to this."
"And you are not?"
"Of course I am. But if there's one thing I know you're not good at it's talking to people. I _am _however, and I want to get to the very bottom of this before we abandon you to death or memory loss."
"Isabela!"
She turned and glared at him. _"What?"_
"It's… not… _I'm _not…"
She crossed the distance between them and grasped his chin in her hand. He tried to push her back but she simply shoved his shoulder. "Don't you _dare_ say you're not worth it, Fenris! Don't you _dare. _You are _not _the one who gets to decide that."
His eyes narrowed as he pulled his chin out of her grip. "Do you intend to make this choice _for _me Isabela?"
She shut her eyes. "Maker's tits and arse, man, of course I don't. But I'm not going to let you go into this decision without knowing all of your options. That would be _stupid _and whatever else I may be, _Fenris _I am _not _stupid."
He followed her as she stalked from the tavern, how could he not? She climbed the bridge up to Hawke and Anders' house, glancing back only once to see him behind her, scowling with all the force of his broodiness. Damn him for being so…
… Fenris.
Hawke answered the door, looking irritated. "Isabela, for Andraste's sake, you only just _left…"_
"Where's Anders?" she said. "Get him out here."
Hawke raised an eyebrow and shook her head slightly. "I should have guessed you'd…" she heaved a sigh. "Hang on, I'll get him."
She disappeared into the house and a few minutes later Anders came to the door - hair mussed and hanging around his shoulders, a simple shirt and breeches rather than that ridiculous coat, and feet bare. She had a moment to think that his feet were _ridiculously _large and a bit on the hairy side, before she shook her head and grabbed his arm. "Come on, Blondie, we need to _talk."_
29. Paying the Cost
It shouldn't have been this way — that was what Hamish thought as he knelt by the corpse. He knew it was a corpse, too — knew it instinctively before he got to it, even though it was the first he'd seen outside of a sick room. When you needed to learn healing you needed to deal with sick people, and some of them died. Death was never orderly, or neat, or easy, but in the Tower it had been… much easier than this.
The Healer and The Champion had been firm about this. When people died, they weren't allowed to disappear, they weren't allowed to blame it on casualties of war and vanish — it was desperately important that they _not _appear to be emotionless and unsympathetic, and even if it meant they were attacked by grieving families asking _why _it would always be _them_ who tried to make up for the damage they caused. The propaganda that the Chantry spread was too dangerous to the cause, and it had to be countered.
The boy.…the boy was no more than _ten._
When his mother came, running and screaming from one of the few houses not destroyed by stray fireballs, he quailed and got to his feet. She shouted at him. To save the boy, to do something that could not be done, not even with magic, and when he stumbled out a few words of sorrow he found himself suddenly set upon with flailing fists, scraping nails and screams of outrage.
"You did this! You mages and your stupid rebellion! Why couldn't you just stay in your towers where you couldn't hurt anyone? Why are you here? My son! You _murdered_ my son!"
He should defend himself, but he couldn't. There were ways to stop her onslaught, magical ones, physical ones, but he couldn't, she was right, anyway, they'd already hurt her as badly as they could, and if he attacked her he'd just be as bad as she said he was.
_You are as bad as she says you are._
The biting, scratching and hitting went on for an indeterminate time, before it was suddenly stilled. The woman was lifted from his unprotesting, punished body by a strong hand and he felt the tingle of soothing magic with that distinctive flavour that was unique to the Healer. The woman's sobs were quieted and she was gently lowered to rest against the ruins of a stone wall and the Healer turned to him, still curled in a ball on the ground.
"Are you all right?" the Healer asked.
"No," he replied dully, not bothering to look up at the man who was crouching next to him, loose limbed and relaxed, as though he wasn't the cause of so much death and destruction.
_The Healer._
_Maker's Breath, who had come up with _that _name for him?_
The Healer let out a long breath. "We have to get moving," he said. "There's nothing more we can do for the people here. The damage has been done."
His lip curled. "We won though, didn't we?" he said, shifting up from the dirt he was lying in to stop the blood from his nose running into his eyes. The woman had done some real damage, he realised then, and by the way the Healer's eyes narrowed he could see it plainly.
Magic was called forth again. He considered flinching away and not allowing the Healer to fix him — some sort of penance for what they had done to the woman's son and the others he knew would be fueling pyres that evening, but…
…they wouldn't know. And it _hurt. _So he turned his face and let the Healer's magic knit skin back together.
"The cost today was too high," the Healer muttered as he worked. "Our information was faulty. That templar patrol was supposed to be transporting mages, not fortifying a town. We were stupid to attack. We should have withdrawn."
"You mean _you _were stupid."
The Healer sat back on his heels, firelight playing across his cheek and hair. Fires that _they _had set, that mages were helping to extinguish. There were large streaks of grey in that hair that hadn't been there when Hamish had first joined the cause. "Yes," he said.
"Nice to know our leaders are as fallible as the rest of us."
The Healer raised an eyebrow, then got to his feet. "Sorry to disappoint," he said.
Hamish scrambled up beside him, anger roiling in his gut. "How do you justify this?" he demanded.
"Are you truly asking me that?" the healer said, looking at him sidelong.
"You killed so many, back in Kirkwall. And now, every day, every time we come out to attack, people die who would otherwise have lived. Is it true what they say, that you think mages are _worth _more than ordinary people? Does one of them dying not _matter _as much as one of us?"
The Healer started walking towards a group of mages who were helping a farmer round up his scattered livestock. The animals were panicked by the proximity of fire, running in circles, bleating and screaming. Mages plunged after them almost comically, trying to deal with things most of them had never encountered before. How many of them had even _seen _a goat, before the rebellion? "You went to the Tower late, didn't you?"
"I was ten."
"I was twelve. I lived with… normal people before that. I spent more time out of the Tower than most. _Normal _people hid me from templars. _Normal _people came to me for healing, let me deliver their children." He stopped and turned, and his face was hard. "That boy back there… in a year, two, his mother could have been screaming at a templar who'd come to take him away. Do you think she'd be any less virulent then?"
Hamish stopped, remembering his own parents. The shocked silence. The blank looks. The Healer was looking at him, with eyes narrowed.
He swallowed.
The Healer nodded. _"That's _why we're doing this, Hamish," the Healer sucked at his teeth and turned, sending a wave of magic towards a bolting goat, halting it in its tracks so one of the other mages could wrangle it back towards the makeshift corral they'd made. The farmer seemed grateful, even smiling a bit at the mages who were helping him. _He _hadn't lost too much.
Hamish couldn't resist looking back towards the woman, who had managed to crawl to the body of her son. His head was cradled in her lap and hers was bent down over the still body, thin shoulders shaking.
"We don't know he would have been a mage."
"We don't know he wouldn't have been," the Healer replied. "But that's not the point. Everyone is hurt by the way things are now. _Everyone. _Not just mages. No one should be thought of as a _thing _or a _problem _to be dealt with. No one should be relieved to have their child taken from them, because they don't have the skills to deal with…" The Healer sighed and rubbed sweat from his forehead. "But you've heard all of this before." The Healer followed Hamish's gaze towards the woman on the ground, and there was pain in his eyes, and determination in the set of his jaw. "It's only because we have to see what it costs that it hurts so much."
The last of the animals was herded back into place, and the mages who were healing the injured started to filter back to the meeting point. The dead templars would be given a pyre of their own,and a service. Once the mages were gone, no doubt the Chantry sisters would come out of hiding and minister to the village, and they would probably preach about the evils of the mages who brought this on them, and some of the village, the woman, Hamish was sure, would listen and her resentment would build and she'd teach it to her remaining children…
….and if one of those children turned out to be a mage he or she would be halfway to loathing themselves the way the templars always wanted them to. They might even choose tranquility over a Harrowing, because it would stop the pain of being something their own mother hated, or turn to blood magic or…
"What if it _never _ends?" he blurted out. "The war? The deaths? Every day more people… I can't… I don't know if I can… This isn't what I wanted when we left, I wanted to be free not… " _more trapped than ever._
The Healer's nostrils flared and Hamish took a step back. He had never seen… _that _part of the Healer. Not even in battle. The rumours were that it only happened when The Champion was threatened.
There was an echo of the fade in his voice when he answered, an eerie sound that sent a chill into Hamish's bones. "What would be worse, is if we'd never tried."
The Healer turned then, and started shouting orders to the mages to get back to their base, and Hamish watched, swallowing hard and clutching at his staff.
As they left the woman looked up from her weeping and caught Hamish's eyes with her own.
He shuddered, but kept walking.
30. I was Anders before I was Justice
I was Justice before I was Anders.
There was a time when time meant little, when the sky was shimmering white and easily mutable, when mortals were a flitting presence, easily distracted, easily diverted. There was a time when my purpose was so pure and all consuming that I thought of nothing else, and I was content to embody it rather than enact it.
There was a time when I lived in the fade and not in the mortal world, when I had none of the limitations of a physical body and there was no true meaning to the word _death, _or _time — _not to me, or to anyone. Thoughts and ideas were more real to me than people. Spirits and demons were my companions and they were changeable and fluid and none of them were _important._
I could not say I was Kristoff before I was Anders. A small window was opened to me, a tiny glimpse of what the world could be and wasn't, but I wasn't _him, _all I felt were echoes. I was still Justice, but for the first time in my life I _felt _the true meaning of the word. Suddenly everything I had been before was _not _important, and that I had named myself _Justice _seemed like an act of arrogance — of _ignorance._
I remember longing. I remember wonder at new sensations — the first touch of friendship, the first glimpse of things I never knew I wanted. I remember ages of insubstantiality replaced by something solid and real and _beautiful _in a way that nothing could be in the fade, because it was fleeting. A world so full of beauty that beauty was overlooked.
I was Anders before I was Justice.
There was a time when all that mattered to me was my own freedom. The next escape, how far I could get, what pleasures I could indulge in. All the niggling little injustices we were forced to endure every day as mages were _personal _affronts, not something to be changed, just something to be avoided.
I lived very firmly in the mortal world. For all I spoke with spirits and used them for my magic, they were nothing to me but a means to an end. I used their curiosity to fuel my spells, let them help me escape detection and cursed them when they sometimes gave me away. Pleasure and freedom were all I sought, and I took any means available to get them.
I remember loneliness. All consuming and terrible and empty. I remember darkness, and lies, told _to _me and _by _me. I remember how easy it was for a mortal to fool oneselfinto believing things that are convenient, instead of things that are _true._
I was Justice before I was Anders.
I was Anders before I was Justice.
There was a time when I was two people — now there is just one.
31. Debts
The abomination… the mage…. _Anders _ducked back inside and came out a few moments later slightly less disheveled.
"Can we walk?" he said shortly. "Liesel just fell asleep and Saoirse will roast me alive if I wake her."
Isabela jerked her head towards the massive golem statue. "Why don't we talk under that, since you know, it's not at all intimidating."
Anders rolled his eyes, but stalked towards the statue and leaned against it, crossing his arms and giving her that _look. _
In Kirkwall he'd never had the… arrogance he had here, Fenris thought. There was always a sense of impending disaster about him, too thin, too scruffy, too desperate. Fenris supposed he should have realised what the mage was planning - the mess left behind him in Kirkwall was certainly disastrous enough for all of that creeping foreshadowing.
"So," he said, eyes fixed on Fenris. "What is it?"
He bared his teeth. "Ask Isabela," he said shortly. "I did not want to come back."
Anders gave a little twitch of his eyebrows and an almost smile that Fenris wanted to punch, but Isabela ignored the play between the two of them and prodded Anders in the chest with one brown finger.
"A few things, sweet thing," she said, and though the endearment was heart felt (Fenris had never liked the affection she held for the mage) her voice was hard. "A few things that Fenris wouldn't ask because he has a stick inserted somewhere he…. usually quite likes other things inserted, but not when it comes to humbling his pride in front of you…" Fenris winced and looked down.
"More information than I needed, Isabela."
"More information is exactly what I want," she said. "One: Fenris is afraid if you do this thing he'll lose his memory again. Will he?"
Anders glanced his way, eyes calculating. "I don't think so," he said. "I can't be certain though. I _suspect _Danarius used another spell on top of the ritual to expunge Fenris' memory. If that isn't the case then nothing I do will affect his memory, _I'm _not going to be using blood magic."
"If it isn't?"
Anders scowled. "If it isn't then his memory loss was a direct result of the ritual. But even that's not clear cut because…" Anders eyes shifted to Fenris' again and then back to Isabela… "lots of things can cause memory loss. Trauma among them. It's quite possible the pain of the ritual was enough to erase Fenris' memories."
"Shit. So you're saying we're screwed? And not in the good way."
Anders shook his head. "No. I can stop the pain."
Fenris' head shot up. "You can _what?"_
Anders looked irritated and waved a hand. "What sort of healer do you take me for?" he said. "I'm not a butcher. When I operate on people I give them healing magic to ease their pain. I don't imagine Danarius gave you the same courtesy."
"You know full well he did not."
"Don't give me that face. _I've _never owned a slave."
"Much as both your angry faces give me tingles, this isn't the point of our conversation," Bela had one eyebrow raised and she turned to Anders. "You can stop him from feeling the pain?"
Anders shrugged. "Most of it. Some of it. I've… never inserted lyrium into a living thing before." The mage looked distant for a while. "I never had the stomach for live experiments, but it might be called for here. A few deepstalkers with lyrium tattoos should be enough to prove the point."
"What… you'll insert lyrium into them and see if they'll …scream?"
Anders shrugged. "Basically," the mage rubbed his stubble and sighed. "The problem is that it's _lyrium, _Isabela." He did not like the way the mage said her name. "It's unstable, unpredictable - the very reason Fenris is implanted with it could be the reason why it wiped his memory. I don't _think _that's why it happened but you know I haven't done this before so I can't be entirely certain."
Isabela made a face. "Will the experiments help?"
Anders shrugged. "They might. But my instincts… " he glanced at Fenris "and my _training _are telling me that there isn't really any pain I can't suppress. And animals are never truly reliable as test subjects - they're not human, their bodies don't work the same way as ours do. And there's no way for me to check if what I do affects their memory."
"So it would be a pointless delay?"
"I think so."
"Not to mention the extra expense," Fenris muttered.
Anders raised an eyebrow. "Is _that _what you're worried about, Fenris? How much it's going to _cost?"_
He shifted uncomfortably and did not meet the mage's eyes.
Isabela sighed. "I should have realised." She turned and placed a palm flat on his chest, pushing him away from Anders and waving at the mage to stay where he was. Anders rolled his eyes and stalked a few feet away muttering under his breath, or perhaps he was conversing with his pet spirit.
Fenris wondered wildly for a second if Justice thought this was a worthy use of his time and resources.
"Fenris you're being an ass," Isabela said when they were somewhat more private. The other mages and templars were avoiding the bridge, although he could see a few out of the corner of his eye glancing up towards them. "They're offering you help and you think they don't know what they're doing…"
"I did not kill Danarius to place myself in debt to more mages!" he snarled.
He did not imagine the movement as every head within fifty feet turned in their direction. Isabela rolled her eyes and shot a look down at the town.
"Maker's tits and arse, man, they _offered…"_
He crossed his arms across his chest. "No one offers something like this without expecting something in return."
She looked at him, her eyes round and dark, full lips pressed together, for a long moment. "That's true, Fenris. But do you honestly think Hawke thinks she owes you _nothing?" _the lips quirked in a half smile. "Not to mention all the things she owes _me…"_
"This is not a gambling debt, Isabela. They are going to bankrupt themselves to save my _life…"_
Her eyes narrowed and she put her fists on her hips, looking to the side and sucking in her cheeks.
"All right. We'll play this game then, if it's what you want." She jabbed at his chest with a finger. "What did you do, back in Kirkwall, when Hawke asked you to fight on the side of the mages?"
He frowned and looked down. "I fought with her. Naturally."
"Why? Sebastian as good as offered you a position on his guard, you could have gone with him and fought righteous wars against the unfaithful…"
Fenris snorted. "The man is a fool."
"A fool who could have given you a free life. A _normal _life."
"What do you think I'm living now?"
Her eyelid twitched. "Why did you fight for Hawke, Fenris?"
"Pfah. Why ask this? You _know_…"
"I don't. I know why I did, and my reasons are pretty much all selfish. So I'm going to go with yours being the same way, because you know I lack imagination…"
"Isabela!"
She hit him on the arm. "You fought for her because you love her, you idiot. We all do. Just because you don't want to fuck her any more doesn't mean you can't care for her, and just because she'd rather make babies with the crazy tainted mage doesn't mean she doesn't love you either. And when you love someone, you fight for them, and you don't feel like they owe you anything, because when they survive it's all the payment you'll ever need."
"I didn't fight for _her!"_
The words escaped him without volition. If he could have taken them back, he would have, but they were there now, lying between them like a sleeping bearskein.
He should have known that she would not let them lie.
"Who did you fight for then?" she asked.
He looked up. They were almost of a height, and the slant of the bridge they stood on put her above him. At any other time he would have taken the moment to acknowledge her beauty, the smooth brown curves he knew so well yet could never stop revisiting but now, all he could see was her face. He eyes were narrow, her lower lip caught between white, white teeth, one eyebrow delicately raised.
He looked away before he answered. Her gaze demanded honesty, but it did not mean he had to face her while he delivered it. "For you," he said. "You made it clear you would stand by Hawke no matter what she did, no matter what _he _did… and I… " he shook his head and looked at his hands. "I found I did not want to be without you."
For a few seconds the muffled sounds of the thaig were all that he could hear, then there were fingers on his arm and although some part of him screamed _danger _another part welcomed the touch and she was there beneath his lips, soft and yielding and _Isabela.._
Not _his_. Never his. But the feeling she gave him - the lift of his heart and his spirits, _that _was his, he could own that feeling and he would, _he would, _because in the end it was the truest slice of the many freedoms she had given him.
"Do this for me then," she whispered against his lips, and he could have said no, he knew that, and that…
…that was the reason he didn't
End file.
| fanfiction |
Phase Relationship between Electric Field and Magnetic Field
From textbooks, you can see that the electric fields and magnetic fields are in phase for electromagnetic fields propagating from an antenna.
However, using the right hand rule, and the fact that current in an antenna is maximum when the dipoles are neutral, wouldn't that mean the electric field and magnetic field is 90 degrees out of phase?
I read somewhere that near the antenna it will be out of phase, but further out it will be in phase, but how is it even possible?
Look at Maxwell's equations:
$$\begin{align}
\nabla \cdot \vec{E} & = \frac{\rho}{\epsilon\_0} \\
\nabla \times \vec{E} & = - \frac{\partial \vec{B}}{\partial t} \\
\nabla \cdot \vec{B} & = \vec{0} \\
\nabla \times \vec{B} & = \mu\_0 \vec{J} + \mu\_0 \epsilon\_0 \frac{\partial \vec{E}}{\partial t}.
\end{align}$$
Now, keep in mind that a derivative or integral, when applied to a pure sine wave, introduces a $90^\circ$ phase shift. In every case, $\vec{E}$ and $\vec{B}$ have the same number of derivatives applied to them, so they will have the same phase. The sources, $\vec{J}$ and $\rho$, have no derivatives so they will have a $90^\circ$ phase shift relative to the fields.
In the *near field* the $\vec E$ and $\vec B$ are 90 degrees out of phase. In the *far field* they are in phase $\frac{\vec E}{\vec B}=Z\_0$, $Z\_0=377 \Omega$ is vacuum wave impedance, like in a plane electromagnetic wave.
See also answers in [Phase-alignment in EM-waves](https://physics.stackexchange.com/questions/285718/phase-alignment-in-em-waves/285721#285721)
A cording to the classical electromagnetic field theory, for the electromagnetic wave sends from a transmitting antenna, the electric field and magnetic field are in phase. But that is wrong!
A cording to the mutual energy theory for electromagnetic field, the energy is transferred by the mutual energy flow instead of the self-energy flow. Poynting vector is self-energy flow. The mutual energy flow is produced by the retarded wave of the transmitting antenna and the advanced wave of the receiving antenna.
That means the Poynting vector cannot transfer energy. It should be only send the reactive power. This means the electric field and magnetic field should have 90 degree difference.
In order to learn the mutual energy theory, search "Mutual energy flow", "mutual energy principle"
| stackexchange/physics |
falls are common among older adults , and their consequences often devastating and costly [ 24 ] .
evidence - based interventions are available to prevent falls [ 57 ] ; however , we have observed that care - seeking by older adults to reduce their likelihood of falling is less than expected .
others have also observed that few older adults engage in proven behaviors to reduce fall risk after a fall [ 811 ] .
explanations identified through qualitative research with older persons have included an underestimation of personal susceptibility to falling , a sense of fatalism or a belief that falls occur due to bad luck , an attribution of falls to external ( rather than within - person ) causes , a belief that falls are accidental , a belief that falls are an inevitable consequence of aging , and a belief that one already knows what to do to prevent falls .
the majority of published research has been conducted with persons from scandinavia , britain , new zealand , and australia [ 10 , 11 , 13 ] , and thus it is unknown whether the explanations for this phenomenon , as observed in these studies , are generalizable to elders residing in the united states .
additionally , most research has been conducted with samples that have not been fully characterized in terms of educational level and socioeconomic status [ 1013 ] and with persons who may or may not have experienced a fall [ 10 , 11 ] .
thus , it is also unclear whether the findings apply to elders of different ethnic backgrounds , to low - income elders , or to elders at high risk of falls .
an understanding of contextual ( personal , environmental ) factors affecting program participation is important , as program participation may ultimately influence an individual 's likelihood of future falls and fall - related injuries , global functioning , and quality of life [ 24 ] .
we , therefore , conducted the present study with a diverse , low - income , community - dwelling sample that had experienced a fall to better understand the lower than anticipated uptake of clinical fall prevention services by older americans .
we hypothesized that an array of complex factors would affect the decision to participate in a clinically oriented , fall prevention program and that beliefs , attitudes , and knowledge would differ between those who were receptive to a fall prevention service and those who were not .
we conducted in - depth qualitative interviews of elders who had experienced a fall to explore differences between fall prevention program
we employed a purposeful stratified sampling strategy to ensure an adequate balance of joiners and nonjoiners .
interchangeably for those accepting an invitation to receive a fall risk assessment and management recommendations from either of two fall prevention programs .
all participants had previously been referred to one of two seattle - based fall prevention programs : harborview medical center 's fall prevention clinic or king county emergency medical services ( ems ) fall prevention program ,
the harborview program is a hospital - based , outpatient clinic that offers multifactorial assessment and longitudinal management of modifiable fall and fall injury risk factors to persons with a history of falls .
the king county ems program is a home - based program in which a physical therapist conducts a home safety assessment and arranges for any recommended adaptive devices to be installed .
the therapist also assesses balance , strength , and footwear and reviews medical conditions and medications in order to customize a personal action plan . upon written approval of the participant
, the therapist sends a letter to the personal physician explaining the one step ahead program and detailing findings of the evaluation so that the physician may consider if other medical management might also be beneficial to prevent future falls .
a representative of each program sent letters to potential participants with information about the study , an invitation to participate , and a phone number to call for further information or to schedule an interview .
in addition , each mailing included a stamped postcard for potential participants to return if they preferred the option of receiving a phone call from an interviewer or if they wished to decline participation .
a follow - up phone call was made to those potential participants who neither called nor returned a postcard within a few weeks of receiving the mailing .
for each program , recruitment targeted an equal number of participants who had accepted and joined the program and those who had either declined to join or otherwise not followed up on an invitation or referral .
men and women aged 50 and above were recruited in proportion to their representation in the population .
other eligibility criteria included residing in king county , english fluency , and possessing the cognitive ability to clearly understand the decision to participate in the study .
the interview guide consisted of a series of open - ended questions designed to facilitate a conversation during which individual motivators and barriers to participation in the specified programs might be identified and discussed .
the first half of the interview covered the role of health - related beliefs and behavior in participants ' daily lives , particularly as it related to views on healthy aging and participants ' core values .
the second half focused specifically on attitudes and behaviors surrounding fall prevention , including participants ' experiences of their own falls and efforts to prevent falling again .
interview questions were developed by the investigators to address the phenomenon of interest ( i.e. , lower than anticipated participation in available clinical services to address fall risk on the part of older adults with a history of having fallen ) .
the first author ( eap ) was familiar with the small body of relevant literature on the topic ; however , no particular preconceived hypotheses were explored via the interview questions , nor were the interview questions designed to confirm or disprove findings from other published work .
all interviews were conducted by research assistants who received training in conducting semi - structured , in - person interviews .
interviewers scheduled appointments by phone and conducted the interviews at participants ' homes or at another location of the participant 's choosing .
all interviews were audiotaped , and an incentive to participate was provided in the form of a gift card worth $ 25 .
each interview lasted approximately 45 minutes , and upon conclusion , participants completed a paper questionnaire of standard demographic information about themselves and their households . throughout the process
all study procedures were approved by the institutional review board at the university of washington .
transcripts were then uploaded into atlas ti version 5.2 ( scientific software development gmbh , berlin , germany ) , a computer software program that facilitates qualitative data analysis .
non - joiner , as the primary focus of this study was to ascertain differences between these two groups .
coding and theme development was guided by the grounded theory approach of strauss and corbin [ 17 , 18 ] . this methodology was chosen because our main purpose was to arrive at an understanding of people 's actions / behaviors with regard to care - seeking for falls / fall risk . all coding was completed by two coders with experience in qualitative coding and analysis , working independently .
the two coders and a third research team member read through all interviews prior to coding and theme development to establish initial impressions and to facilitate grounding in the data .
an initial start list of codes was developed by identifying a priori areas of interest , such as consequences of falling and barriers to joining , and was included in the interview guide .
the second stage of code development consisted of line - by - line reading of the interviews to capture subcodes that emerged from the data .
these sub - codes were organized under the start list codes developed in the first stage . in this initial coding stage
, an extensive codebook was developed that included definitions for the start list and all related sub - codes .
coding discrepancies were reviewed with the full research team until consensus on final codes was reached . because coding was done by consensus , interrater agreement was not calculated .
the codebook was then applied to all interviews , which were coded line - by - line .
after completion of the coding stage , comparison analysis was conducted to uncover differences and similarities between joiners and nonjoiners .
to complete this analysis , we examined a number of important factors to determine if the groups differed on any of these factors .
factors examined included : if an injury had accompanied the fall , the stated cause of the fall ( falling due to illness or medication verses falling due to environmental factors , such as slipping ) , aging - related loss , the effect of doctor referral , the emotional response to falling , participant core values , such as the importance of family and social connections , demographic factors , and program type ( clinic versus home - based ) .
atlas ti was used to perform both textual searches and visual displays of relationships and patterns emergent in the data .
an iterative process was then used to further develop and confirm the resultant themes by a third research team member .
for the fall prevention clinic , 35 letters of invitation were mailed to joiners and 40 to nonjoiners to reach our interview target of 20 completed interviews . for the ems fall prevention program ,
30 letters were mailed to joiners and 37 to nonjoiners to reach our interview target of 20 completed interviews .
there were no significant differences by joiner status on any of the sociodemographic characteristics that we examined .
one of the most striking findings in this work was the similarities between joiners and nonjoiners of fall prevention programs .
they were similar in their experience of loss associated with aging , in the core values they expressed , and in their emotional response to falling .
in addition , we discovered that both groups of interviewees were using common public health terms in ways different from how these terms are typically used and understood by health professionals using the same terminology .
the group as a whole expressed significant aging - related loss , both in their own physical abilities and in their familial or social relationships .
over 70% of participants expressed diminishing physical function , and over half expressed familial or social loss .
hfpc j5 : i used to walk long distances every day , but i can not do that anymore .
i regret that i can not do it , but that 's the way it is .
ems j2 : i have just dropped out of uw 's courses that i was taking , because of a number of reasons , one of which was that it 's so difficult for me to get around . even though i have the services of dial - a - ride on campus , still in some cases , just getting to the dial - a - ride meeting place was very , very difficult .
my husband died on our 25th wedding anniversary so i have been alone ever since .
hfpc j6 : because in two - and - a - half years i lost my husband and five close relatives .
it just has not left me in very good spirits most of the time , because i was close to all of my relatives .
ems nj5 : we have stopped doing lots of things that we did do , because it would take us longer to get to a meeting , for instance , and all of this kind of thing .
nearly all participants expressed the importance of independence and of being able to maintain their current level of functioning .
interestingly , this value was expressed regardless of their current circumstances and level of physical functioning .
the wonderful thing about living here is that this is independent living , and although we have housekeeping and we have a dining room downstairs , we are free to come and go and do whatever we wish to do .
ems nj5 : it 's very important , because you just think that at least you can take care of yourself , if you can not do all of these other things .
all participants in this study had experienced at least one fall , and many had sought medical attention for their fall . when asked how they felt right after the fall , the participants named emotional responses that were similar across groups , expressing anger at themselves , fear , and embarrassment .
hfpc j7 : it was sort of like , boy , how clumsy can you get ?
oh , no , i am not going to be able to take care of myself or anything like that .
i was sort of annoyed with myself that i had done that , more than anything else .
i was mostly scared , because i said , oh , is this what life has for me ?
i was falling so hard , and they tell us that you can break a hip . if you break a hip , you are on your way out . that just really was scary .
i am an old man , sort of , on the ground on my hands and knees .
in addition to the initial emotional response to falling , most participants expressed a heightened fear of falling and subsequent injury .
they described trying to be careful to avoid falls and reported being very vigilant to avoid falling again .
i mean , i have fallen there before , and i do not want that to happen again .
i also watch where i put my feet now more often than i did before .
ems nj4 : i am very careful . the rug , i watch because it wrinkles up , but i am very careful
well , i do not want to break a hip . as coding was being conducted and themes were developed ,
it became clear that the participant 's understanding and usage of terms such as independence and physically active were not in line with how public health professionals typically use those terms .
for example , participants considered themselves independent and valued that independence even when they were being cared for in a facility or by a caregiver .
their view of independence was much broader than the definitions used by health and public health professionals and focused on maintaining their current level of functioning . additionally , physically active was used by participants to refer to the activities of simple daily functioning ; again a broader definition than is usually used in public health . when asked ,
what first comes to mind when you think about being physically active , or staying physically fit ?
a typical response was : well , being able to get out of bed , being able to dress myself , being able to feed myself , and being able to function in the way that most of us do or want to .
the analysis of these interviews revealed just one primary difference between those who participated in one of the fall prevention programs and those who did not .
those who participated expressed that they needed the program ; those who did not participate expressed a lack of need .
transportation was also cited as a barrier , although it was unclear if it was a primary barrier for those who cited it .
those who joined a fall prevention program stated their need for the program in very simple terms , giving a sense that they would do everything they could to avoid falling again . when asked why they decided to go to the fall prevention clinic or have the in - home visit from ems , 17 of the 20 interviewees responded with a simple variation of ,
ems j6 : well , i am most eager to learn anything that would be helpful for me . for those who chose not to participate ,
half the group stated that they did not need the program because they felt they had not yet reached the point of needing intervention and that they could prevent falling themselves by being more careful .
ems nj1 : at this point in time in my life , i do not feel like i need the extensive help that i might need later .
others interviewed felt there was no need for the program because they felt beyond help or did not believe that anything could be done to prevent falling .
there was also a sense from these respondents that , having multiple health conditions , they felt overwhelmed thinking about one more intervention .
ems nj7 : well , i do not think that there 's anything that you can do .
hfpc nj1 : yes , i am just not interested because i do not think that they can help me any , frankly .
i have been through so many of these evaluations , and it 's just yadda , yadda , yadda .
lack of transportation was the one other significant barrier that affected the harborview clinic participants .
this barrier was discussed by 5 people who declined to participate in the harborview clinic .
this barrier was often mentioned in combination with other reasons for not participating , such as , i just forgot , and i am not sure what they do for me . hfpc nj2 : i hate to ask people that i know to drive me , and so even from here to there , it 's a bitch .
the results of our study suggest that the main reasons for older adults accepting an invitation to participate in a fall risk assessment and management program relate to outcome expectations of the program .
participants who followed through on a referral to the fall prevention clinic or who received the home - based ems fall risk assessment program believed that such a program would benefit them in helping them reduce their fall risk . falling and its consequences instilled a great deal of anxiety and fear in our participants , and the older adults who chose to join a community fall prevention program
in contrast , older adults who turned down the invitation for either program did not perceive a great need , either because they did not think they needed such a program at that particular point in their lives or because they felt they were beyond help .
nonjoiners reported relying on their own strategies ( e.g. , being more careful ) for risk reduction .
these findings share some similarities with those reported in published studies involving elders in other countries . in a study of accepters and decliners of referral to a falls clinic in denmark
, all accepters believed that something could be done about their falls problem , that the time investment was worthwhile , and that they would use the advice received , whereas decliners expressed concerns that the healthcare system would take over their life , that the logistics and time commitment were excessive , and that providers had hidden agendas and might criticize them if they did n't follow advice .
yardley et al . found that those they studied underestimated their personal susceptibility to falling and believed that no additional fall prevention measures were necessary .
those they interviewed also cited practical factors , such as transportation , effort , and cost as precluding their participation .
we did not identify among our sample the perception that fall prevention as a concept threatened personal identity and autonomy , as has been described by others .
however , in a departure from other published studies , we did find a prominent belief in self - reliance , that is , the power of the individual him- or herself to use their own methods to control his / her likelihood of falling again in the future . of interest ,
a recent study of a sample ( n = 36 ) of homebound women in their mid-80 s to mid-90 s who resided in the midwestern u.s . and had a history of falling in their home describes in great detail a variety of strategies that these women articulated as ways that they planned to avoid falling again , such as avoiding quick turns , taking care not to bend over , wearing shoes that will not slip , and using one 's cane or walker more consistently .
in addition to perceived need and beliefs about the outcome of joining a fall risk assessment program , our participants highly valued independence .
however as mentioned above , participants ' perception of independence was different from and more limited than what is usually presented in the literature .
that is , the predominant thoughts around independence , healthy aging , and physical activity were related to the ability to perform daily activities ( i.e. , get dressed by themselves , cook dinner , clean house ) .
participants took pride in listing the daily activities they were capable of doing ( no matter how few ) , and their ability to maintain this level of independence was extremely important to them .
the results of this qualitative study suggest that , in order to participate , older adults have to perceive a need for a community fall risk assessment program and that this perceived need is related to their assessment of how a program will benefit them in maintaining their current level of function . in portraying the benefits of a fall risk assessment program ,
it is important to emphasize program benefits that are consistent with the reality of many older adults ' situation . especially for high - risk elderly , who struggle with comorbidities , loss of physical abilities , and shrinking social networks , the emphasis should be on how falls are a major threat to remaining functional and independent [ 2 , 3 ] , and that through reducing the risk of falling by receiving and following recommendations provided by such preventive programs , these programs can help them maintain a level of confidence , mobility , and independence in their daily functioning .
in addition , access to such programs needs to be simple . assisting such older adults in getting to a clinic and back , perhaps through a
patient navigator or a volunteer transportation program , may be instrumental in getting a high - risk population to a regional center that offers fall risk assessments .
engaging family caregiver support for an elder being counseled to undergo a fall risk assessment may also be helpful in encouraging participation .
regular , ongoing contact with a supportive health professional , such as a physical therapist , may increase motivation to continue fall prevention activities ( e.g. , doing routine balance and strength exercises ) over time .
the results of this study are informative for healthcare practitioners and aging service providers seeking to engage high - risk elderly to participate in a fall risk assessment program . having a history of having fallen did not necessarily lead participants to perceive that they needed to undergo an individualized risk assessment .
this finding supports practitioners directly educating older persons about the fact that having experienced a fall suggests that one is highly likely to fall again in the future . for the present generation of elderly , the advice of a personal physician has been shown to facilitate participation in fall prevention activities , and thus educational guidance , along with a recommendation to undergo a risk assessment , delivered by an informed primary care provider , may be invaluable in shaping an older adult 's understanding of the importance of avoiding falls to well - being and the role of individualized risk assessment in this context . with regard to limitations of the present study
, one limitation is that only 1 out of every 4 eligible participants agreed to participate in this study , which may have resulted in a selection bias .
even so , we believe this selection bias is limited , since the total pool of eligible participants were fairly homogeneous due to the fact they had all been invited to undergo assessment and management by one of two fall prevention programs ( which have their own eligibility criteria ) .
a second limitation is that our study sample was not as racially diverse as we had anticipated ; thus , further studies involving non - white persons are warranted .
the sample was well - defined in terms of its sociodemographics , inclusive of those of low income , and uniform with respect to all participants being at high fall risk due to having had a history of at least one fall in the past .
this latter point is important , in that it allowed us to circumvent the phenomenon of low perceived relevance of fall prevention due to not having experienced a prior fall . in addition , we did not find major differences in attitudes between joiners and nonjoiners according to program .
participants who qualify for one program are typically eligible for the other program as well , and so this finding is perhaps not unexpected .
the fact that findings for joiners and nonjoiners were similar regardless of program speaks to the external validity of our key results .
the study sample consisted of a group of elderly all of whom had experienced a fall .
the perception of need was the critical factor in determining participation in the fall prevention programs offered .
interventions targeted at this high - risk group will need to address individual beliefs as well as structural and social factors ( i.e. , transportation issues , social networks ) to optimize participation of this group in such programs . | pubmed |
The 8 Best Commercial Contractors in Tacoma, Washington
After a prolonged decline during the mid-20th century, Tacoma, Washington has faced a period of revitalization. Embracing the rise of public and private developments, it has grown into a hub of facilities from diverse market sectors. Challenged by this factor, contractors serving the town have learned to adapt to the fast-paced changes in the commercial industry while building significant contributions to the town and its businesses.
If you're looking for a commercial contractor, our editorial team put together this list of the best commercial architects in Tacoma, Washington, to help. These firms have sustained a perennial reputation by upholding the core values instilled by their principals. We also featured projects that best represent why each firm has won awards from well-respected organizations and why it has earned a spot on this list.
1940 East D St. Suite 300, Tacoma, WA 98421
The historic renovation performed by Korsmo Construction for the Paradise Inn Annex consists of upgrades for accessibility, siding, roof, building support structure, and extensive mechanical and electrical updates. It had to meet the National Park Service's requirements and shore and support the building within a short work window before the arrival of the snow season. Despite the complex site logistics, varying weather conditions, and challenging schedule, the firm completed this project and won an Associated General Contractors of America (AGC) Construction Excellence Grand Award (2020) and Excellence Award for Public Building $20 million to $50 million.
When driven by a common purpose, it is no surprise that plans and its processes will result in success. This is why carpenters, project managers, in-house staff, project engineers, superintendents, and the entire team of Korsmo Construction aim to show mutual care for the client, project, and craft. Since 1948, a responsible and reliable service led by John Korsmo Jr. has remained the firm's core value. He maintains this by involving himself in all aspects of the business and providing overall guidance and leadership to the entire building team.
Rafn Company
721 132nd Avenue NE, Bellevue, WA 98005
Jack Rafn founded the Rafn Company with a vision for a collaborative process for building. He believed that a novel concept will lead to high-quality efficient results and will spark the cultivation of lasting client and industry partnerships.
Rafn Company aims to build synergistic relationships with its clients. In order to do so, the firm began working on renovations for historic buildings. Seeing its success, the firm began to apply the same approach to its public and private commercial projects and later, market services. Today, the firm greatly influences the skylines and streetscapes of the city by completing new construction and renovation through a highly skilled team who takes time to understand the purpose of the project.
With the works of its resourceful and committed team, Rafn Company has renovated the Two Pine Building, a 120,000-square-foot, high-rise building. Exterior improvements included seismic bracing addition, three-level steel reclad, a curtain wall system, and concrete facades repair. Interior core and shell upgrades consisted of work in all the levels and the basement for new amenities of prospective tenants.
Walsh Construction Co.
1102 Broadway Suite 501, Tacoma, WA 98402
Gardner House Apartments is a transit-oriented eight-story housing community that bridges families at risk with support and housing resources. It consists of 95 apartments dedicated to homeless and low-income families and a 200 square foot ground floor space intended for serving Seattle-area families with children at risk of homelessness. Walsh Construction's contribution to this building program is a mere representation of its values for cooperation, commitment, and generosity. It shares resources and knowledge between employees, organizations, and charities and efficiently and effectively completes any assigned tasks.
Managing the firm is Matt Leeding, who earned a B.S. in Business and a Minor in Construction Engineering Management from Oregon State University. He then worked from being a carpenter to being a senior project manager and president of Walsh Construction. Throughout his career, Leeding has supervised the development of WALSH's Safety Program and the Quality Assurance and Control Program and has delivered results in all phases of construction operations.
Merit Construction
3020 S. 96th St., Lakewood, WA 98499
Tammy Birklid finds her 20+ years of relevant experience in managing construction business affairs useful for her leadership for Merit Construction. She combines these experiences with an unparalleled commitment to teamwork and customer service, attention to detail, and unmatched excellence. This excellence also became the firm's standard when constructing buildings. Understanding that a project is more than just creating a visible result and usable space, the firm seizes every opportunity to influence the future of communities.
Building with a forward-thinking mindset, Merit Construction has maintained a good reputation in the industry since its establishment in 1957. Its pursuit for innovation has led them to pioneer the Team-Build approach in the '80s and build lasting relationships with well-respected brands such as Porsche. This featured project, for instance. The firm refurbished the Porsche of Tacoma building by adding a 6,200 square foot Pre-Engineered Metal Building to the property. This project highlights new siding and entrance, a large skylight, a new vault, and larger power service, and the storm and sanitary sewer lines.
Colvos Construction
711 Court C, Tacoma, WA 98402
Colvos Construction is a commercial general contracting firm launched in 2016 by Devin Page and Anders Bjorn. Its portfolio consists of mixed-use, retail, hospitality, office, healthcare, self-storage, and commercial office tenant improvement. In serving Tacoma, Seattle, Bellevue, Olympia, the Peninsula, and the Puget Sound region, the firm focuses on strategic partnerships with clients, investors, and vendors that build upon entrepreneurial opportunities and relationships. Accomplishing this much in a short amount of time, Puget Sound Business Journal recently ranked the firm as the #1 Fastest-Growing Private Company based on revenue growth.
One of its accomplishments is partnering with Boe Architects in building Cuerno Bravo, Tacoma's premier steakhouse and restaurant. Colvos Construction coordinated a full build-out of the restaurant and kitchen, added a mezzanine landing, installed a grease interceptor, and renovated the parking lot. In every project it builds, the firm bases its plan on detailed research and a deep understanding that construction is a progression of details. From program definition, budget and schedule planning, and establishing relationships between stakeholders, Colvos supports clients in navigating the complexity of building in today's market.
Berschauer Group
Cornerstone Plaza 1148 Broadway, Tacoma, WA 98402
Since its establishment in 1940, Berschauer Group has grown into one of the largest construction companies in the Pacific Northwest under Henry and Pat Berschauer's leadership. Regan and Ashley Berschauer joined the family business in 2004 and 2013, continuing the firm's legacy and commitment to focusing on construction while building professional relationships. For over seven decades, the firm has constructed and developed commercial, office, retail, healthcare, and industrial facilities, serving the developers, businesses, and investors residing in the Pacific Northwest.
Berschauer Group's list of services includes pre-construction and construction management, where its teams develop accurate estimates and workable budgets. It has formed a network of talented, efficient, and dependable subcontractors helpful for its general contracting services. From renovating an existing property to purchasing raw land for project development, Berschauer Group has the expertise to guide clients through all phases of development.
7457 S. Madison St., Tacoma, WA 98409
In building the 38th Street Starbucks, Mountain Construction worked with James Guerrero Architects Inc, C. Christian Fynboe PE, Beyler Consulting, and Bradley Design Group. They joined forces to develop the site and provide professional landscaping and cast-in-place concrete curbing. Elements found in the exteriors are varying colors of masonry block, metal siding accents, cement board upper siding, and a metal roof. Meanwhile, the interiors feature an open floor plan, vaulted ceilings, exposed concrete floors, and decorative polishes.
Mountain Construction's breadth of experiences revolves around the automotive, retail, office, finance, and healthcare industry. It holds and continues to enhance its knowledge of working in diverse styles for businesses in numerous industries. Aiming to discover and deliver the customers' needs, the firm guides the clients every step of the way, from land acquisition to project design and structural engineering. It finds the best solutions for the simplest to the most complex projects, excelling at seeking out the best building programs and techniques.
Sierra Construction Company, Inc.
14800 NE North Woodinville Way, Woodinville, WA 98072
Founded in 1986, Sierra Construction is a Pacific Northwest general contractor and construction management company. They specialize in industrial, multi-family, commercial and tenant improvement construction. Sierra's main office is located in Woodinville, WA, with regional offices in Tacoma, WA and Portland, OR.
Sierra Construction has retained its reputation of constructing new buildings all over the Pacific Northwest, with a noteworthy performance in concrete and creativity in sitework approaches. An example of the firm's work is the firm's new headquarters that sits on the hillside of Woodinville. It features board-formed concrete walls, a wood joist, a hybrid truss roof structure, an exposed struct, rural steel, and an aluminum storefront. The firm also landscaped the site with gabion retaining walls and built the parking lot with green screens around and a high soil nail wall to keep the hillside above its stall surface. | slim_pajama |
of the growing number of individuals initiated on dialysis annually in the united states , 94% choose hemodialysis as their initial mode of therapy .
the five - year survival rate on hemodialysis is a dismaying 35% , with the risk of death being highest in the first few months after starting treatment .
the single most common cause of mortality in hemodialysis patients is sudden cardiac death , which accounts for approximately one out of every four deaths .. with an annual incidence of 67% , the risk of sudden cardiac death in hemodialysis patients even exceeds that for high - risk diseases like heart failure .
unfortunately , no interventions have been identified that clearly prevent hemodialysis - associated sudden cardiac death , including mainstay therapies like beta blockers and implantable defibrillators .
long chain n-3 fatty acids have been demonstrated in experimental and clinical models to protect against malignant ventricular arrhythmias .
they have also been shown to reduce the risk of sudden cardiac death in some but not all primary and secondary prevention trials in non - dialysis populations .
hemodialysis patients consume insufficient dietary long chain n-3 fatty acids and consequently have low blood levels , and that such levels are inversely related to total mortality . yet
no studies have examined the relationship between long chain n-3 fatty acid blood levels and sudden cardiac death in hemodialysis patients during or after the early high - risk period .
we therefore used a frequency matched case - control design to test the hypothesis that serum phospholipid long chain n-3 fatty acids levels were inversely related to the risk of sudden cardiac death during the first year after initiating hemodialysis .
we performed the study in a large contemporary cohort that was representative of the general u.s . hemodialysis population .
table 1 describes the characteristics at time of initiating hemodialysis of the 100 patients who died of sudden cardiac death during the first year of treatment and their 300 frequency matched controls .
the patients who died of sudden cardiac death were more likely to have a history of coronary artery disease ( 19.0 vs 9.0% , p=0.007 ) , congestive heart failure ( 19.0 vs 10.3% , p=0.023 ) , and stroke ( 7.0 vs 2.7% , p=0.048 ) , but less likely to have hypertension ( 25.0 vs 41.3% , p=0.003 ) .
they also had comparatively lower serum albumin ( 3.38 vs 3.54g / dl , p=0.007 ) , creatinine ( 5.47 vs 6.24mg / dl , p=0.005 ) , and phosphorus levels ( 4.19 vs 4.68mg / dl , p=0.007 ) , and were far more likely to have started hemodialysis using a catheter than an arteriovenous fistula or graft ( 73.4 vs 48.6% , p<0.001 ) .
baseline serum phospholipid fatty acid levels in the case and control groups are shown in table 2 .
the patients dying of sudden cardiac death had greater median amounts of the most abundant saturated and monounsaturated serum fatty acids ( i.e. palmitic [ 16:0 ] , oleic [ 18:1n-9 ] ) but less polyunsaturated fats such as arachidonic acid [ 20:4n-6 ] and docosahexaenoic acid [ dha , 22:6n-3 ] .
long chain n-3 fatty acids were significantly lower in cases than controls ( median ( 1,3 quartile ) 3.2 ( 2.6,4.0 ) versus 4.0 ( 3.3,4.7 ) , p<0.001 ) .
the odds of sudden cardiac death by phospholipid n-3 fatty acids levels over the first year of hemodialysis is reported in table 3 and were significantly and inversely related to the amount of serum long chain n-3 fatty acids . after adjusting for relevant factors and potential confounders , the relationship remained relatively unchanged and significant ( p<0.001 ) , with the highest quartile having an 80% lower odds of sudden cardiac death compared to the lowest quartile .
results were not qualitatively different when long chain n-3 fatty acids were treated as a continuous variable ( data not shown ) . when long chain n-3 fatty acids were examined separately , 22:5n-3 and 22:6n-3 , but not 20:5n-3 ,
were found to have significant inverse relationships with the risk of sudden cardiac death ( data not shown ) . of note , the rate of hyperkalemia ( defined as greater than 6.0
meq / l ) during the one year study period was similar between groups ( cases- 5.0% , controls 5.3% , p=0.90 ) . compared to the lowest quartile of long chain n-3 fatty acids ,
the odds of sudden cardiac death were significantly lower for individuals in all other quartiles at days 90 , 180 , 270 , and 365 ( figure 1 ) .
this case - control study performed in a nationally representative cohort of patients initiating hemodialysis found that serum phospholipid long - chain n-3 fatty acids were inversely associated with sudden cardiac death events during the first year of dialysis , including during the highest - risk first few months .
this relationship held true even after controlling for factors that may or do influence the risk for sudden cardiac death in hemodialysis patients . adjusting for dietary fatty acids did not appreciably influence our findings , suggesting that the effects of long chain n-3 fatty acids are independent of consumption of other dietary fats .
the exceptional vulnerability of hemodialysis patients to sudden cardiac death is well described but not fully understood .
in contrast to the non - dialysis population , where sudden cardiac death is most commonly ascribed to acute myocardial ischemic events , in hemodialysis patients diffuse cardiac fibrosis and diastolic dysfunction , autonomic instability and sympathetic overactivity , deranged mineral metabolism and vascular calcification , systemic inflammation , and treatment - associated myocardial stunning and rapid fluid and serum electrolyte shifts predominate as the most likely alternative culprits .
long chain n-3 fatty acids have been reported to ameliorate many of these unique dialysis - related conditions through a variety of mechanisms .
roughly half of the major randomized trials testing the effects of long chain n-3 fatty acids supplementation on cardiovascular and mortality endpoints have reported positive results , while a major limitation of many of the negative clinical trials was inadequate statistical power due to low event rates , presumably from the effective use of risk - reducing medications like statins and beta blockers .
in contrast , no therapy in the hemodialysis population has been demonstrated to reduce the risk of sudden cardiac death .
even the utility of implantable defibrillators in hemodialysis patients is controversial , and given the predominance of diastolic dysfunction and the risk for infections and hemodialysis access compromise , they are unlikely to be recommended routinely . the possibility that long chain n-3 fatty acids can be used to lower the risk of sudden death is therefore especially appealing .
long chain n-3 fatty acid blood levels are highly modifiable by dietary consumption of fish or fish oil supplements , which are relatively inexpensive and generally well - tolerated . in addition , u.s .
hemodialysis patients have low blood long chain n-3 fatty acid levels compared to americans without kidney disease and even foreign dialysis patients . because the putative cardioprotective effects of long chain n-3 fatty acids are maximal when dietary intake is lowest , hemodialysis patients in the united states are an optimal population for supplementation studies .
there has been no published research into the relationship between long chain n-3 fatty acids and sudden cardiac death . however , the general consensus of three previous observational studies in incident and prevalent hemodialysis and peritoneal dialysis patients was that long chain n-3 fatty acids , assessed by either dietary surveys or blood levels , are inversely related to total mortality .
a randomized , controlled trial studying the effects of long chain n-3 fatty acids on cardiovascular events and death in 206 danish hemodialysis patients found no improvement in the primary composite endpoint but did observe a reduction in myocardial infarctions .
an important study limitation was the very high blood levels of long chain n-3 fatty acids
nearly double that in our study population -- making it much harder to demonstrate cardiovascular risk reduction .
in contrast , a more recent randomized north american study of 201 hemodialysis patients with much lower baseline long chain n-3 fatty acids reported improvements in the secondary outcome of cardiovascular event - free survival .
we used icd-9 coding by patient providers to identify individuals who died of sudden cardiac death , and further excluded in - hospital events to minimize event misclassification . while icd-9 codes for sudden cardiac death have a good sensitivity in hemodialysis patients , the lack of eyewitness or autopsy confirmation of sudden cardiac death could have led to random misclassification .
we also did not have information available on cardiac structure and function , dialysate bath composition , residual renal function , or intradialytic weight gain , variables postulated but not yet proven to play a role in the sudden cardiac death of hemodialysis patients .
though we measured long chain n-3 fatty acid levels at time of hemodialysis initiation , levels could have changed over time as dietary intake changed . despite this
finally , due to the biologically grounded and hypothesis driven nature of our case - control study design , which focused specifically on patients who died of sudden cardiac death , we could not determine the association between long chain n-3 fatty acid levels and other important outcomes such as all - cause mortality or cardiovascular mortality .
the use of serum phospholipids as a surrogate for the phospholipid content of heart cells could possibly be considered a limitation . however , there is no evidence at present to suggest that phospholipids in the heart or peripheral blood cells are better predictive markers than those in serum .
while our findings were limited to the first year on hemodialysis , other investigations suggest that long chain n-3 fatty acids have protective effects even after this period .
we can not exclude the possibility that residual confounding from dietary or other factors existed despite having controlled for many of the most recognized and powerful prognostic factors .
the analysis included the entire first year of hemodialysis , an important attribute in light of the relative lack of information available on outcomes and interventions during the critical first few months after starting hemodialysis .
this early period is also associated with the highest risk of death , which is why mortality rate reduction over the first year of dialysis has become the highest priority for professional nephrology organizations and dialysis companies . in summary , long chain n-3 fatty acids
are strongly associated with a lower risk of sudden cardiac death in incident hemodialysis patients during the entire first year of dialysis . because sudden cardiac death is the most common cause of mortality in such patients and lacks an effective treatment , and because hemodialysis patients are especially amenable to the putative cardioprotective benefits of long chain n-3 fatty acid supplementation due to their low dietary intake
, there is a compelling need to confirm our findings in a randomized , controlled fashion .
all study subjects participated in the accelerated mortality on renal replacement ( armorr ) project , a nationally representative prospective cohort study of patients who initiated chronic hemodialysis at any one of over 1000 us dialysis centers operated by fresenius medical care , north america , between july 1 , 2004 , and june 30 , 2005 , 10,044 incident hemodialysis patients representing 1,056 us dialysis units were prospectively enrolled into armorr .
armorr contains detailed demographic and clinical data , including comorbid conditions , laboratory results , and blood samples at time of dialysis initiation .
all clinical data were collected prospectively and entered uniformly into a central database by the patients practitioners at the point - of - care based on medical records and physical examination .
all clinical data points arriving at fresenius underwent rigorous quality assurance / quality control ( qa / qc ) auditing because these data are directly linked to medicare billing services , and routine qa / qc measures are mandated by the clinical quality group and data entry error reduction task force at fresenius .
blood samples collected for clinical care were drawn at individual dialysis units and shipped the same day on ice to spectra east ( rockland , nj , usa ) , a good clinical practice ( gcp)-accredited central laboratory . study subjects
blood samples were individually labeled with a yellow sticker , thus notifying technicians of the need to handle these samples especially expeditiously .
samples were not sent from friday or saturday dialysis sessions to ensure that all samples were processed immediately .
if samples were not received on ice or contained insufficient quantities of blood , they were not included in the armorr study .
after blood was extracted for clinical testing , the remaining serum was immediately placed in new tubes and frozen at 80c .
they were then sent in batches on dry ice to the armorr investigators where the samples were aliquotted and immediately stored at 80c ( and subsequently liquid nitrogen ) . because many aliquots were available for each study subject , the need to expose samples to multiple freeze / thaw cycles
this study was approved by the institutional review board of the massachusetts general hospital , boston , ma , which waived the need for informed consent .
sudden cardiac death events in armorr were defined as deaths occurring ( 1 ) out of hospital that were ( 2 ) identified by international classification of diseases ( icd)-9 diagnosis codes for cardiac arrest
( icd-9 : 798.1 , 798.2 , 798.9 ) , the icd-9 codes , frequently used to study sudden cardiac death in dialysis patients , were documented by the subject s health care providers at time of death on a dialysis unit mandatory discharge form .
one hundred patients who died from sudden cardiac death within one year of initiating hemodialysis and who had sufficient amounts of stored sera were identified as cases on an a priori basis .
three hundred hemodialysis patients who survived the first year of dialysis ( controls ) were frequency matched by age , gender , and race in random fashion using sas 9.3 software package ( cary , nc ) .
serum lipids were extracted with chloroform / methanol ( 2:1 , vol / vol ) .
serum phospholipids were the primary measurement because they reflect cardiac membrane phospholipid content , an important mediator of cardiac electrophysiology , better than other serum fatty acid fractions , solid phase extraction was used to isolate the phospholipid fraction , with methanol being eluted via a silica cartridge ( 300 mg filling , grace , deerfield , il ) , phospholipids were then methylated directly with 10% bf3 in methanol and converted to fatty acid methyl esters ( fame ) .
the resulting fame were concentrated in isooctane ( hplc grade , fisher scientific , pittsburg , pa ) and analyzed by gas chromatography ( gc ) ( hp 7890a series , autosampler 7693 , gc chemstation rev .
b.04.03 , agilent technologies , palo alto , ca ) with a db-225 column ( 30 m , 0.25 mm i.d .
, 0.15 mm film thickness , agilent technologies , palo alto , ca ) equipped with a flame ionization detector , sample peaks were identified by comparison to authentic fame standards ( nu - chek - prep inc . ,
results of fame analysis were obtained by area percentage reports and reported in weight percent .
long chain n-3 fatty acids were defined as the area percent of eicosapentaenoic acid ( 20:5n-3 ) + docosapanetaenoic acid ( 22:5n-3 ) + docosahexaenoic acid ( 22:6n-3 ) , and long chain n-6 fatty acids as the area percent of 20:4n-6 + 22:4n-6 + 22:5n-6 .
based on preliminary data 100 cases and 300 controls were estimated to have 80% power with a 5% type i error to detect an odds ratio of 1.96 between serum phospholipid long chain n-3 fatty acids above versus below the median .
baseline characteristics were summarized by mean + / standard deviation for continuous variables and frequency for categorical variables .
two - sample t or chi - square tests were used for group comparisons as appropriate .
summary statistics for each fatty acid ( expressed as percentage of total fatty acids ) were compared between groups using nonparametric wilcoxon rank sum test due to their skewed distribution .
to evaluate the association between baseline long chain n-3 fatty acids and sudden cardiac death , we first categorized the subjects into four groups by quartiles of long chain n-3 fatty acids .
we analyzed the outcome of death status due to sudden cardiac death at 90 , 180 , 270 , and 365 days after starting dialysis . since this is a frequency matched case control study , we used the common odds ratio and logistic regression model for analysis ( unlike matched case control design , where a conditional logistic regression model is more appropriate ) .
we evaluated the odds ratio of scd for each of the second , third , and fourth quartile group compared to the first quartile group and calculated the corresponding 95% confidence interval .
we also perform logistic regression model with death status at 365 days as the response variables to evaluate the effect of long chain n-3 fatty acids on the risk of sudden cardiac death while adjusting for potential confounders and other important factors , including cause of end - stage renal disease ( diabetes mellitus / other ) , history of coronary artery disease / myocardial infarction , congestive heart failure , or atrial fibrillation , baseline systolic blood pressure , use of beta blockers , initial type of vascular access , and pre - dialysis serum creatinine , serum albumin , and serum potassium levels .
age , gender and race were not included in the model since they were not significantly different between groups and had minimal effect on the coefficient estimates of long chain n-3 fatty acids . to test the sensitivity of the odds ratio estimate to the misspecification of confounder variables
, we also ran models with long chain n-3 fatty acids alone and with other covariates . the odds ratio estimate and its confidence interval estimates were similar .
each fatty acid group ( saturated , monounsaturated , trans , long chain n-6 ) was entered separately into the model .
fatty acids that changed the coefficient estimate of long chain n-3 by more than 15% were included in model 4 .
c statistics for models 1 , 2 , 3 , and 4 were 0.67 , 0.75 , 0.78 , and 0.78 , respectively , indicating their reasonable predictive ability .
all statistical tests were performed at a two - sided 5% significance level using sas 9.3 software .
all study subjects participated in the accelerated mortality on renal replacement ( armorr ) project , a nationally representative prospective cohort study of patients who initiated chronic hemodialysis at any one of over 1000 us dialysis centers operated by fresenius medical care , north america , between july 1 , 2004 , and june 30 , 2005 , 10,044 incident hemodialysis patients representing 1,056 us dialysis units were prospectively enrolled into armorr .
armorr contains detailed demographic and clinical data , including comorbid conditions , laboratory results , and blood samples at time of dialysis initiation .
all clinical data were collected prospectively and entered uniformly into a central database by the patients practitioners at the point - of - care based on medical records and physical examination .
all clinical data points arriving at fresenius underwent rigorous quality assurance / quality control ( qa / qc ) auditing because these data are directly linked to medicare billing services , and routine qa / qc measures are mandated by the clinical quality group and data entry error reduction task force at fresenius .
blood samples collected for clinical care were drawn at individual dialysis units and shipped the same day on ice to spectra east ( rockland , nj , usa ) , a good clinical practice ( gcp)-accredited central laboratory . study subjects
blood samples were individually labeled with a yellow sticker , thus notifying technicians of the need to handle these samples especially expeditiously .
samples were not sent from friday or saturday dialysis sessions to ensure that all samples were processed immediately .
if samples were not received on ice or contained insufficient quantities of blood , they were not included in the armorr study .
after blood was extracted for clinical testing , the remaining serum was immediately placed in new tubes and frozen at 80c .
they were then sent in batches on dry ice to the armorr investigators where the samples were aliquotted and immediately stored at 80c ( and subsequently liquid nitrogen ) . because many aliquots were available for each study subject , the need to expose samples to multiple freeze / thaw cycles
this study was approved by the institutional review board of the massachusetts general hospital , boston , ma , which waived the need for informed consent .
sudden cardiac death events in armorr were defined as deaths occurring ( 1 ) out of hospital that were ( 2 ) identified by international classification of diseases ( icd)-9 diagnosis codes for cardiac arrest
( icd-9 : 798.1 , 798.2 , 798.9 ) , the icd-9 codes , frequently used to study sudden cardiac death in dialysis patients , were documented by the subject s health care providers at time of death on a dialysis unit mandatory discharge form .
one hundred patients who died from sudden cardiac death within one year of initiating hemodialysis and who had sufficient amounts of stored sera were identified as cases on an a priori basis .
three hundred hemodialysis patients who survived the first year of dialysis ( controls ) were frequency matched by age , gender , and race in random fashion using sas 9.3 software package ( cary , nc ) .
serum lipids were extracted with chloroform / methanol ( 2:1 , vol / vol ) .
serum phospholipids were the primary measurement because they reflect cardiac membrane phospholipid content , an important mediator of cardiac electrophysiology , better than other serum fatty acid fractions , solid phase extraction was used to isolate the phospholipid fraction , with methanol being eluted via a silica cartridge ( 300 mg filling , grace , deerfield , il ) , phospholipids were then methylated directly with 10% bf3 in methanol and converted to fatty acid methyl esters ( fame ) .
the resulting fame were concentrated in isooctane ( hplc grade , fisher scientific , pittsburg , pa ) and analyzed by gas chromatography ( gc ) ( hp 7890a series , autosampler 7693 , gc chemstation rev .
b.04.03 , agilent technologies , palo alto , ca ) with a db-225 column ( 30 m , 0.25 mm i.d .
, 0.15 mm film thickness , agilent technologies , palo alto , ca ) equipped with a flame ionization detector , sample peaks were identified by comparison to authentic fame standards ( nu - chek - prep inc . ,
results of fame analysis were obtained by area percentage reports and reported in weight percent .
long chain n-3 fatty acids were defined as the area percent of eicosapentaenoic acid ( 20:5n-3 ) + docosapanetaenoic acid ( 22:5n-3 ) + docosahexaenoic acid ( 22:6n-3 ) , and long chain n-6 fatty acids as the area percent of 20:4n-6 + 22:4n-6 + 22:5n-6 .
based on preliminary data 100 cases and 300 controls were estimated to have 80% power with a 5% type i error to detect an odds ratio of 1.96 between serum phospholipid long chain n-3 fatty acids above versus below the median .
baseline characteristics were summarized by mean + / standard deviation for continuous variables and frequency for categorical variables .
two - sample t or chi - square tests were used for group comparisons as appropriate .
summary statistics for each fatty acid ( expressed as percentage of total fatty acids ) were compared between groups using nonparametric wilcoxon rank sum test due to their skewed distribution . to evaluate the association between baseline long chain n-3 fatty acids and sudden cardiac death , we first categorized the subjects into four groups by quartiles of long chain n-3 fatty acids .
we analyzed the outcome of death status due to sudden cardiac death at 90 , 180 , 270 , and 365 days after starting dialysis . since this is a frequency matched case control study , we used the common odds ratio and logistic regression model for analysis ( unlike matched case control design , where a conditional logistic regression model is more appropriate ) .
we evaluated the odds ratio of scd for each of the second , third , and fourth quartile group compared to the first quartile group and calculated the corresponding 95% confidence interval .
we also perform logistic regression model with death status at 365 days as the response variables to evaluate the effect of long chain n-3 fatty acids on the risk of sudden cardiac death while adjusting for potential confounders and other important factors , including cause of end - stage renal disease ( diabetes mellitus / other ) , history of coronary artery disease / myocardial infarction , congestive heart failure , or atrial fibrillation , baseline systolic blood pressure , use of beta blockers , initial type of vascular access , and pre - dialysis serum creatinine , serum albumin , and serum potassium levels .
age , gender and race were not included in the model since they were not significantly different between groups and had minimal effect on the coefficient estimates of long chain n-3 fatty acids . to test the sensitivity of the odds ratio estimate to the misspecification of confounder variables
, we also ran models with long chain n-3 fatty acids alone and with other covariates . the odds ratio estimate and its confidence interval estimates were similar .
each fatty acid group ( saturated , monounsaturated , trans , long chain n-6 ) was entered separately into the model .
fatty acids that changed the coefficient estimate of long chain n-3 by more than 15% were included in model 4 .
c statistics for models 1 , 2 , 3 , and 4 were 0.67 , 0.75 , 0.78 , and 0.78 , respectively , indicating their reasonable predictive ability .
all statistical tests were performed at a two - sided 5% significance level using sas 9.3 software . | pubmed |
Black holes from gravitational collapse without matter
A collapsing star or mass shell or photon shell can eventually form a black hole. Are there any examples of BH formed from purely gravitational condensation of energy, like from focused gravitational waves?
Yes, for example you can have the [Vaidya metric](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaidya_metric), which represents formation of a black hole from a cloud of photons.
You can also get similar solutions using gravitational radiation. Singularities are a generic occurrence in general relativity. In some loose sense, if you choose random initial conditions, black holes will occur with unit probability, even if there are no matter fields.
| stackexchange/physics |
!!September1, 2012Before Midnight!!!!Screenplay by!!Richard Linklater!Ethan Hawke!Julie DelpyFADE IN:INT. AIRPORT - AFTERNOONJesse and 14-year-old Hank are walking through an airport inGreece.JESSE So you got everything?HANKMmm-hmmh.JESSEYou going to play video games thewhole flight, or do you think youmight actually crack a book?HANKProbably read some.JESSEIf I write you an email, don't bescared to write me back, okay? Itwon't kill you to let your old manknow what you're thinking about andwhat's going on, you know? HANKYeah.JESSEIf we want, we could try Skypingonce a week or something.HANKAll right...JESSEYou got the drawings for your sciencedeal?HANKYeah, think so.JESSEAlright, well they turned out greatby the way. Like, really great.HANKThanks.They've arrived at the concession stand. Hank grabs a coupleof snacks.2.JESSEIs your computer charged?HANKYeah.JESSEWhat do you think's the first thingyou're gonna do when you get home?HANKI dunno.JESSEI really cherish this communicationwe have. You know, it's just - youranswers are so...HANK(interrupting)What?Jesse is paying.JESSEJust keep practicing the piano, okay? You're really good and they spend somuch time at that school of yours...just remember that music is actuallysomething you will use in your life. Right, and don't forget to - youwant those sesame things, right? They're really good.HANKYeah.JESSERight. (to cashier)Yassou. Here you go. Thank you. Okay.He gets the change and they head to the gate.JESSE (CONT'D)I'll probably make it over there inOctober, you know? Try to see youin that first recital and thenhopefully catch a soccer game whileI'm there. (to cashier)Efharisto.3.HANKI might not even play soccer thisyear.JESSEOh, that'd be a big mistake. Trustme.HANKI'm not that good.JESSEOh, no, you're pretty good. Youare.HANKI mean, I missed summer trainingcamp, so the chances of me startingare minuscule. JESSEYeah, well, just tell the coach thesituation - your dad lives in Europe,you really wanted to be there, blahblah blah. Blame me. My parentsstink, but I'm really serious.HANKBut I'm not serious, Dad. I don'tcare that much.JESSEWell, you don't have to decide rightnow. You know, just think about it. All I'm saying is that team sportsare important, you know? They've arrived at the security line.JESSE (CONT'D)Here we are. I love this airport,don't you? HANKIt's awesome.JESSEI know, it's cool, right? You excitedabout seeing your mom? HANKYeah, and all my friends.4.JESSEYeah, right. What about your boardingpass, passport...? Okay. You feelconfident about making the connection?HANKYeah, I've done this before.JESSEYeah, but not with a tricky connectionlike this. Just remember, when youland, you stay in your seat. Somebodyfrom the airline's going to come getyou and take you to the gate, right? HANKIt's not a problem.JESSEOkay. All right. Oh, boy. Well,looks like maybe we should just dothis thing, huh? Okay. Come here. They hug.JESSE (CONT'D)I'm gonna do my best to make thatrecital, okay?HANKYou know, I wouldn't bother.JESSEWhat makes you say that?HANKLook, I'm not being mean, but it'dbe easier if you didn't come to therecital. JESSEHow come?HANKIt'd just be better if you visitedon another weekend.JESSEBut... I want to see you play.HANKLook, it's because Mom hates you somuch. She'd be really stressed ifyou were there, and then it'd betense for me.5.Jesse motions to the person behind him to go ahead.HANK (CONT'D)We wouldn't have any time to hangout, anyway.JESSEDon't worry about her, we'll figurethat out, we can... Just don't wantyou to worry about it. You know? Imean... you know how much I missyou, right?Hank nods.JESSE (CONT'D)Why do you think she still hates meso much?HANKI don't know. I think she hatesDaniel more than she hates you. Hank playfully punches Jesse.HANK (CONT'D)Hey, don't worry about it. I'llfigure something out. We shouldjust do this though.JESSEYeah. But I mean, is there anythingI can do to help?HANKI don't know.JESSEBut you know that I love you, right?HANKYeah.JESSERight, okay.HANKYeah, I know. This has been thebest summer of my life.JESSEReally?HANKYeah!6.JESSEWell, me too. See, I told you, Itold you this whole Greece thing wasgoing to be great.HANKAnd it was.A final moment.JESSEOkay. All right. I love you, pal. HANKI love you too, Dad.JESSE Okay, shake my hand. All, right,go.HANKBye.JESSEBye. See ya. (sighs)He goes into security. Jesse watches him walk away, andthen slowly heads toward the exit.EXT. AIRPORT - AFTERNOONWe follow Jesse back through the airport as he finds his wayto the parking lot, revealing Celine, standing outside ofthe car, talking on the phone. CELINE(speaking french)Oui, oui.(continues in french)Okay.As Jesse and Celine settle inside the car, the camera pansover toward two 6-year-old girls who are asleep in the backseat. That's right, twins NINA and ELLA. They start drivingaway from the airport. INT. CAR - AFTERNOONAs they hit the highway, Celine lowers her volume as shewraps up her conversation. 7.CELINE (into phone)Okay. Bon. Très bien. Merci. Oui, oui, Lucia. Au'voir. (hangs up, speaksfrench)JESSEWhat's going on?CELINEThey voted against it. JESSEWhat, the wind turbines?CELINESix months dealing with those people,they were all for it. Everyone agreedit was great for the region...JESSEOh. So what happened?CELINE...And now they've decided that theydon't like the way it looks on thathill. It's ruining their view.JESSENo, no, I thought it was a done deal.CELINEIt was! It practically was--JESSEWell, can--CELINEThat's what's so infuriating.JESSECan they do that?CELINEYes, of course. They've done it. That's it. It's over, fini.JESSEI'm sorry.CELINENo, no, it's just so frustrating. Ican't take it anymore. (MORE)8.CELINE (CONT'D)(beat)I'm gonna take that job with Remy.JESSENo. No, you don't want to work forhim.CELINEWhy not?JESSEFor the government?CELINEWell, I think this government isdifferent. We need laws. That'sthe only way anything is going tohappen.JESSEIt's not the only way. You guyshave been getting a lot of good workdone.CELINEWell, I've been thinking about it. This is the way to go.JESSEOkay. Well then, let me remind youthat you do not like that guy. Thewhole time you worked for him before,you complained about him constantly.CELINEYeah, yeah, yeah. He can be anasshole, but he gets things done. That's how I'm gonna be from now on--JESSEOkay.CELINEA real bitch, okay? That's it.JESSEOkay. Well every time I look atthat guy, all I see is ambition. Imean, I'm sorry, I just don't trusthim. The only reason he's goingfrom non-profit to government is tohave people kiss his ass. 9.CELINEI don't care about him, okay?JESSEAll right, and I think you're gonnabe miserable, all right? Just withall that politicking and compromising-- CELINEWhatever. I've made my decision. I'm tired of being the do-gooderthat rolls a boulder up a hill andwatches it roll down again.JESSEIsn't he the guy that used to throwhis pens at his assistant and stuff?CELINEOkay, I should have taken this job ayear ago. You know, and I was scaredbecause of the amount of work, but Ithink it's the best opportunity everand it's more money and... I'm doingit.JESSEOkay. Are you sure?CELINENo, I'm not sure of anything, okay?JESSEAll right, all right--CELINEI mean, you know, what's gonna happento everyone if I leave? LikeFrancoise, and I mean, they count onme. What do you think? Should Itake it or not, should... Should I?JESSEAh, no, no, no, I don't have anopinion. I just don't want to seeyou rush into a decision because ofthis wind turbine crap. CELINENo! It's not just that, okay? It'sbeen stirring in me all summer...JESSEWell, I know it has. I know.10.CELINE...And I should do it. And I'm doingit!JESSEAll right then, just - then do it.CELINEI'm doing it, all right? Oh, god. I wish things were simpler. I mean,if I leave I get fucked, if I stay Iget fucked...JESSE(laughs)There's always a catch.CELINEYeah, the world is fucked.JESSEYeah, baby.CELINEOh, god. We finally have a vacationand the girls are sick for the firsttwo weeks.JESSEOr the perfect son who lives a millionmiles away.CELINEOr the love of your life can't cleanup after himself or learn how toshave.JESSEWho's that? You're not, you're nottalking about Captain Clean-up overhere, are you? You don't mean--CELINECaptain Clean-up! The one that'sbeen missing in action all theseyears!JESSEWhat did you expect at this point inyour life, missy?Celine turns back to look at the twins.11.CELINEGod! Oh, look at them; they're socute! They look like conjoined twins! Oh my god, I gotta take a picture. She takes out her cell phone and takes a picture. Jessereaches back for something he can't quite find.JESSEHey, did uh, did Ella finish thatapple? CELINEYou're going to take food out ofyour child's mouth?JESSEYeah.Celine reaches back and grabs a half-eaten apple off theseat.CELINEOkay. Well. It's all brown.JESSEOh, there's a spot here. He takes a bite from the green part of the apple. Celine isnow filming him with the camera.CELINEElla - this is evidence of your fatherstealing food from you. If you becomebulimic or anorexic, it is not myfault. Don't blame it all on yourmother, okay?JESSEElla, this is a family apple. I'mteaching you the value of sharing. I love you honey. CELINEOhh, so sweet. You girls willremember this vacation verydifferently than we will.JESSEThat's for sure. I see that with mymom. She remembers my childhoodentirely differently than I do. Canyou please stop filming me.Celine puts the phone away.12.CELINEGod. I love your mom. You're alwaysso hard on her.JESSEIt's because you missed the fuckedup years. You're just getting thegood era.CELINEThe "fucked up years." That remindsme, talking about fucked up... did Iever tell you the story of my littleCleopatra kitty? No? Okay, I thinkyou would remember if I did. When Iwas a little girl I had this catnamed Cleopatra and every spring shewould jump the fence and get pregnantand always end up with a litter ofexactly two kittens.JESSETwo kitties?CELINETwo kitties. Every time, every year,two cats. I mean it was just...amazing. Then one day, I was around30 and I was having lunch with myDad, I was remembering, mentioninglittle Cleopatra and he was like -'the hardest thing I ever had to dowas to kill those cute little kittens'-and I was like WHAT? It turns out--listen to this--there were sometimesup to 7 kittens in that litter-- JESSEOh, no.CELINEBut he would take five of them--JESSEOh, no.CELINE--Put them into a plastic bag with abunch of ether.JESSE(laughs)That's terrible.13.CELINEHe had forgotten the lie he and mymom had told me as a kid.JESSEHow did he decide which ones he wantedto kill?CELINEWell, I actually asked him that. Did you take the fluffiest, cutest? He just started to cry. JESSEOh.CELINEPoor Daddy.They realize they're driving by some ancient ruins.CELINE (CONT'D)Oh, we said we were going to stop. They wanted to see the ruins.JESSEYeah, but should we?CELINEWell, Ella really wanted to.JESSEYeah, but should we wake them up?CELINEI don't know.JESSEYou know what, let's do this. Onour way back to the airport we cancatch them.CELINEYou know we won't.JESSEYeah, probably not.CELINEOkay.JESSEWe'll be like, so long, ancient ruins! What's so great about you anyway?14.CELINEPsh! Seen one, seen them all! Ohmy god, we are shitty parents. Weshould have stopped.JESSEAw, it's okay.CELINEIt's culture. Come on, go back.JESSEAh, we gotta put some character inthese kids somehow, you know what Imean?CELINEYeah, yeah.JESSEWe're teaching them a valuable lesson,you know. You snooze, you lose inthis world.CELINEAnd when the girls are in rehab,recovering from ten years of addictionto coke and speed, they'll say, "oh,we just never felt comfortable goingto sleep because our daddy alwaysused to tell us, "you snooze, youlose." And that'll be your faultagain.JESSE(laughing)Okay, okay. Well, we are shittyparents. CELINEI know.JESSESaying goodbye to Hank sucked.CELINEWhy, was he upset?JESSENo, no. He said it was the bestsummer of his life.CELINEWell, that's great! (MORE)15.CELINE (CONT'D)I mean, I wouldn't worry too muchabout him. We spoke a bunch, andyou know what his main concerns inlife are? JESSEWhat?CELINEPimples and how girls perceive him. The apple doesn't fall far from thetree, I guess.JESSEWhat do you mean? I'm not like that.CELINEOh, please!JESSEWhat?CELINEThat's all you think about!JESSEWhat?CELINEWomen! I mean--I'm not complaining. I'm getting a lot of attention. Butyou never stop ogling girls.JESSEI don't ogle girls.CELINEYeah you do.JESSEI don't ogle girls! (sexy Spanish accent)I make love to them with my eyes.CELINEOh, wow.JESSEYeah.CELINEI like the Spanish guy. Or is itGreek?16.JESSE(Spanish accent)I don't know where I'm from, but I'mvery hairy.CELINE(laughs)Well, I think... You know, Henrymight have, you know.JESSEWhat?CELINEThat little Melina girl.JESSEI don't know. He had a crush but...CELINEOh, are you kidding?JESSEWhat?CELINEWhy do you think he said it was thebest summer of his life?JESSEBecause he and I had a good timetogether?CELINEJesse...JESSENo, huh? So what, you think they...you think they what--CELINEOf course.JESSEYou think they kissed?CELINEYeah, they kissed! Yeah, yeah. Okay, I was sworn to secrecy but hetold me. They kissed. Okay.JESSEWhat'd he say?17.CELINEI'm not supposed to tell you anything,so I'm not gonna talk but--JESSECome on.CELINEOkay. He told me he was worried -you know, concerned about the kissing. You know, tongue, no tongue. JESSEWhat, he asked you that?CELINEYeah. But he was so - he was socute. All nervous, all red, bitinghis cheek like when he was little. So cute.JESSEWow. So he and Melina were a realthing.CELINEYeah.JESSEWhat's gonna happen now?CELINEI don't know. They must be friendson Facebook, so they'll keep in touch,at least for a while.JESSEHey - what if they end up spendingtheir whole life together? You know?CELINEYou're so corny! Sometimes I'm justlike -JESSENo, I just - I mean -CELINEWhat are you, a twelve-year-old girl?JESSEI'm just, it's -18.CELINEI mean, first love, do you evenremember who it was?JESSEUh, yeah, I do. It was you.CELINEOh, please. Like you were a virginat twenty-three. I don't -JESSENo, you said "first love", not firstsexual experience, okay?CELINEOkay. Fine. Like I'm the firstwoman you ever fell in love with?JESSEYeah. Pretty much. The first one Ifelt truly connected to. Sure. CELINEI don't think so.JESSEWhat, I wasn't your first love?CELINE(beat)No, of course not.JESSEOh. No, I just - I thought I was.CELINENo!(laughs)Jesse, stop this. It's dumb.JESSEIt's okay, it's okay. It's not abig deal.CELINENo? Okay. How old are you? Comeon!JESSEI'm forty-one and I have loved onlyyou. A beat of silence, then they both laugh.19.CELINEYou are so, so working on our littlenight, aren't you?JESSEHell yeah. I've got a Trojan in mybillfold and a rocket in my pocket.CELINEI'm stuck with an American teenager. Can't believe it. Do we have to doall that stuff later?JESSEWhat? Oh, yeah, come on. It meansa lot to Patrick. Ariadni andStefanos are probably already thereprepping, the kids wanna have onemore big time together - it's gonnabe fun. CELINENo, no, no, but I meant the hotel,later. I just, I'm not sure I wantto go - Her phone rings. She picks it up.CELINE (CONT'D)(into phone)Hi, sweetie. Yeah. Oh, okay, okay,okay, okay. Well, well, it's fine. It's fine! Call me from London. Have a good flight. Bye. Jesse gestures for the phone, but she's already hung up.JESSEBut - but -CELINEThey were telling them to turneverything off, they were about totake off and I asked him to call mefrom the plane; you know, I don'tlike when he flies.(a beat)What?JESSEI don't - I dunno. I dunno. *(sighs)I just don't think I can keep doingthis.20.CELINEWhy?JESSEJust every summer, every Christmas,you know, it's like -CELINEI know. It makes me ill every time.JESSEIt just wouldn't be so bad you knowif I - like if we were sending himto boarding school or something. Just - I dunno. ...If his mom and Igot along a little bit better.CELINEI know. It's like we're sending himback across enemy lines.JESSEI know. It really hit me this time,you know? I mean, he's going to bea freshman in high school! Fourmore years and then he's gonna be onhis own.CELINEWell, maybe that's the good news. We only have four more years of this.JESSENo, no, no. This is the crucialtime. I just feel like I should bethere for him. Like it's now ornever, you know?CELINENo. What do you mean?JESSEI guess I just thought somehow he'dend up living with us. Somewherealong the way, you know. Now time'sgoing by so fast and here we are! It's high school, you know. There'sgirls... next thing you know it'scollege applications.CELINEYeah, you're right! Maybe it's time. I mean... I really think it's time. (MORE)21.CELINE (CONT'D)Just tell his mum all this and askif he can come and live with us. He'd love it, we can put him in thatbilingual - JESSEThat's never gonna happen, all right? She's never gonna give me one thingthat she's not legally obligated to.CELINEDo you want to call that lawyer again?JESSENo. I don't like that guy. He'sterrible.CELINEShould I call his mother? JESSEUh, no. Please. Never again.CELINENo, I know.JESSELook, he doesn't even know how tothrow a baseball. CELINEWho cares?JESSEHe just... he leads with his elbow. He throws like a girl.CELINEThat's not your fault.JESSENo, it is my fault. A father issupposed to teach you that.CELINEOkay, he just doesn't like baseballdoes he? Who can blame him.JESSENo, it's an example, okay? It's ametaphor for everything. He's turningfourteen and he needs his father.22.CELINEJesse, I'm not moving to Chicago.JESSEWell, did I ask you to?Celine rolls her eyes.JESSE (CONT'D)Where'd that come from, huh? I'mjust thinking out loud. I mean,this is the one thing I promisedmyself I would never do and I lookup and I'm doing it. CELINEWell... listen, you're a wonderfulfather. He loves the relationshipyou have, he loves the letters yousend him and he -JESSEHe doesn't even read the lettersthat I send.CELINENo, of course he reads them; he justdoesn't compliment the writing theway you want.JESSEI just know that if I miss theseyears, they are never coming back.CELINEOh, my god.JESSEWhat?CELINEThis is where it ends.JESSEWhat're you talking about?CELINEThis is how people start breakingup.JESSEOh, my god. What'd you just... youjust jumped off a cliff.23.CELINENo, no. I'm marking this. This isthe day you light the ticking bombthat will destroy our lives.Jesse laughs.CELINE (CONT'D)Yeah. Watch.JESSEOkay. Well, first off, you don'tlight a ticking bomb, okay, you setit and it's a timer -CELINEOh, okay, whatever! Whatever, okay.JESSE- That's why it ticks.CELINEIt has a timer. Well, you know what? It's ticking. Right now. And thisis how it happens. JESSERight.CELINEYou're unhappy, you blame it on theother person, resentment grows,everything slowly rots and you breakup. That's it.JESSEYou're just doing this to shut meup.CELINENot at all. Not at all!JESSEI know you are. That's what you'redoing. Yeah.CELINENo-no-no-no. I'm actually surprisedwe lasted this long.JESSEOkay, Okay. So here comes thehyperbole-24.CELINEWe were on parallel tracks for awhile but now our tracks have crossedand I'm going west and you're goingeast. And believe me, this is howit happens. I've seen it, okay? Catherine Alexander - JESSEYou're kidding, right? You'rekidding.CELINEWell, no! I'm kidding. And I'mnot. All right? (beat)Just - this is it.As Celine talks, the girls wake up. One of the girls, ELLA,groggily says:ELLAHow much longer to the ruins?CELINEOh, they were closed. JESSEYeah. Sweetie, you know what wedecided, we're gonna catch them onthe way back, when we're going tothe airport.CELINEExactly.JESSEOkay?CELINEWe'll leave early, right? Yeah.JESSEYeah. Yeah.ELLAWhat happened to my apple?CELINEYour apple. La pomme, elle etaitfini, cette pomme. Right?25.EXT. FISHING VILLAGE STORE - AFTERNOONThey pull up at a small store in a coastal fishing villageand start getting out of the car. Celine is speaking inFrench to the girls. CELINEGive me the list.JESSEI don't have it.CELINEIt's in your wallet.JESSEOh.CELINEIn your wallet.JESSEOkay.He gets out his wallet and hands it to Celine. She pullsout the list instantly.CELINEVoilà! She turns to the girls.CELINE (CONT'D)Okay, I'm the General! Captain Nina,(tells her what to doin french)NINAOui! JESSEWho made you General?CELINEThe General, okay?JESSEOh.CELINECaptain Ella,(tells her what to doin french)26.ELLAOui! CELINEPrivate Clean-Up, you don't touchanything.JESSEOui. D’accord.EXT. ARRIVAL HOME - AFTERNOONThe car pulls up outside an estate by the shore. They getout and the girls sprint through the entryway. EXT. PATRICK'S HOUSE - AFTERNOONOn the patio outside the house, a soccer game is going onwith Jesse and many other participants.EXT. PATRICK'S HOUSE - AFTERNOONAt a wonderful seating area, PATRICK listens to a storyNATALIA is telling him.EXT. PATRICK'S HOUSE - AFTERNOONIn a small garden, Celine, Nina and Ella pick vegetables. Celine has a nice moment where she's just looking at herlittle girls in nature, engaged with the earth.CELINEThe red one.ELLACela?CELINETrès bien... Okay. Pepper.EXT. PATRICK'S HOUSE - AFTERNOONJesse, PATRICK, and STEFANOS are relaxing at the far end ofthe patio where there's a beautiful ocean view. STEFANOSI actually read them both. The firstone is called THAT TIME, the secondone is called THIS TIME.JESSEThe first one is THIS TIME, the secondone is THAT TIME.27.STEFANOSYeah.JESSEWe've got a joke in our family that"This" brought us back together and"That" paid for our apartment.PATRICKOkay.STEFANOSWell, it must be a little weird forCeline, man, the way she's in a booklike that, no?JESSEWhy? I think she's gotten used toit.STEFANOSBut the second one is sexy, man. When he misses the plane and theyblack out the windows and they havesex for days and days and days likethere's no tomorrow. I mean wow,did you guys actually do that? Jesse shrugs his shoulders.STEFANOS (CONT'D)You did that, uh?PATRICKHave you read Jesse's third book? It's actually better than the firsttwo.JESSEIt certainly took longer to writethan the first two put together.STEFANOSNo, the third one I didn't read. Imean, my wife gave it to me but it'sjust a little bit too long for me,man. Even the title is long. What'sthe title?JESSE"Temporary Cast Members of a LongRunning But Little Seen Productionof a Play Called Fleeting." 28.STEFANOSWell, exactly my point.JESSEAh, well, you're not alone. Everybodyelse thought it was too long. PATRICKIt's a better book. It's so muchmore ambitious.(in Greek)The first two were so so. STEFANOS(speaks Greek)Really? Do you think?JESSEWhat's that?STEFANOSNo, he says he likes all the books. He does.. Jesse laughs.INT. KITCHEN - AFTERNOON Natalia, Ariadni, and Celine are sitting at a table in thekitchen, chopping vegetables.CELINEI mean, I love it here. This placeis amazing. These tomatoes are soamazing. I can... I can smell them! They smell so good. ARIADNIYeah, Patrick is very proud of them.CELINEI know it's stupid but when we wereabout to leave Paris I was a littlenervous to come here. And now thatwe're about to leave, I don't wantto go.NATALIAWhy were you nervous?ARIADNIYeah, why was that?29.CELINEI don't know. This place is so fullof thousands of years of myth andtragedy and I thought something tragicwas going to happen.NATALIAWhat, you thought the Minotaur wasgoing to eat your children orsomething?CELINEYes. Exactly. All three women laugh.EXT. PATIO - AFTERNOONBack with the guys...JESSEAll right, well, the whole time I'vebeen here, I've been working on thisidea about a group of different peoplewith all these brain abnormalities. So the book would be like a day intheir life from all their uniquepoints of view, right? Like there'sthis older lady who has a conditionthat makes you feel like you're in aperpetual state of déjà vu. Everysingle experience she has, she feelslike she's had it before. I meanshe can be sitting here with us,talking seemingly functional right? And in her head, she's thinking: Didn't he already say that? I mean;weren't we here yesterday havingthis exact same conversation. STEFANOSSo just like Deja Vu.JESSEYeah, except all the time.STEFANOSAh.JESSERight, that's the thing, right? Everything she takes in. Breakfast,a newspaper, a movie. She's convincedshe's encountered it already.30.STEFANOSSo that's a real condition?JESSEYeah. It's called persistent deja...It's real but I can't pronounce it.The men chuckle.JESSE Then there's these two othercharacters with facial recognitionextremes. Like there's this one guyand he can't recognize his wife oftwenty years. He looks at himselfin the mirror and he feels thisdisconnect with that man he's lookingat. Then the other character is theopposite, middle-aged housewife witha categorical exacting memory ofevery face she's ever seen; so shelives in a big city but to her, it'sa small town. Like, a taxi drivespast and she thinks 'Oh, that's thedriver who dropped me off at Placede Vosges three Christmases ago.' And some old lady walking on thestreet, she thinks; 'Oh, she sat twoseats down from me on the Metro lastyear.' So, everyone she meets,toher feels intimate and connected. STEFANOSWell, I'm just like the first guy. Like I feel connected to nothingmost of the time, man.We see Patrick's grandson, Achilles, and girlfriend, Anna,come walking by, just from the beach. Anna slaps his buttplayfully before heading indoors while Achilles joins theguys. JESSE Oh, Achilles! Anna! Hey, you guys.PATRICKHey, look at this kid. He's havingthe best summer of us all.ACHILLESHello, Pappou.STEFANOSSo you were saying... there's threecharacters, right? 31. JESSENo, it's not just three characters,it's a whole group of people. It'slike, I'm working on a chapter rightnow about a young Greek man namedAchilles. ACHILLESMe? JESSEWell, he's named after you. Andthis guy is caught in a loop whereall he sees is the transient natureof everything, right? Like he looksout to sea and thinks of the dayit's gonna be dry and littered withfossils. STEFANOSWell... I dunno. It sounds a littlepretentious to me. JESSEAh, no-no-no. It won't bepretentious, I promise. No, it'sgonna be funny. Really funny. Hepicks up a book and he immediatelywonders: Who's gonna be the lastperson to read this? STEFANOSAnd that’s funny? All laugh.ACHILLESSometimes I kind of think like that.STEFANOSWell, okay, so he doesn't get excitedabout tits, cars, booze, nothing. He just thinks about death. JESSEWell, not so much death, right? It's just like transformation, youknow. Like he's seeing too far intothe future. STEFANOSOkay.32.PATRICKI like this idea for a novel. Butyou should add a character of an oldman like me - a poor sap who can'tremember what he had for breakfast,but he can still hear the song thatwas playing when Sheila Campbelldanced topless on the bar at Jury'swhen he was 14 years old. JESSE That'll work. STEFANOSOkay. You have these people lost intime, right ok? But what's theconnection? Are they going to havesex? Don't you need something likethat? JESSE It's not time that they're lost in,right? It's like perception. That'sthe deal. No, I'm thinking of settingthe whole novel at a movie. Like,every character in some way comes incontact with the film 'On theWaterfront.' (to Achilles)Have you seen "On the Waterfront"?He's not sure until Stefanos tells him the Greek title.ACHILLESOh, with Brando! JESSE Yeah.ACHILLESUh-huh.JESSE Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, the firstchapter of the book is openingweekend, Times Square, 1954. Thatold lady, with perpetual deja vuwalks into the matinee screening,right? Except the whole time she'sthinking: haven't I already seenthis? STEFANOSYeah.33.JESSE Right. And then another chapter isa 1979 Paris film studies class. Then we have a Kazan retrospectivein Munich, 1993. STEFANOSWell, man, that is time. How isthat not time?JESSE Yeah, it's time but, it's moreperception. You don't like it.STEFANOSI think it's going to be too long.They laugh.PATRICKWell, I like it. Don't listen tohim - he makes bicycles. Send it tome in galleys. JESSE Will do.EXT. PATRICK'S HOUSE - AFTERNOONAll five kids are playing a game together somewhere on theproperty.INT. KITCHEN - AFTERNOONAriadni, Stefanos, and Celine are in the kitchen, preparingthe meal.CELINEIn France we stuff the tomatoes withtomatoes and the peppers with peppers. ARIADNIOh, really? Because we use the samestuffing for both, because of theway it reacts differently, in termsof taste. Oh, and Celine, make sureyou don't stuff them too much becauseof the way it overflows in the ovenlater and gets kind of nasty. CELINEOkay okay, yeah.STEFANOSYou're doing fine, Celine.34.ARIADNIAnd especially don't listen toStefanos here because he's nevermade this dish before, or any otherdish for that matter.He takes her knife.CELINE(Laughing)Okay.STEFANOSYou know, I mean...ARIADNI AND STEFANOS(Yelling, SpeakingGreek)STEFANOSLet go of me, (Greek)Let go of me!ARIADNI(in Greek)Stefanos, why are you taking my knife? Stop stealing people's knives. Hereis a knife perfectly good for whatyou're doing.STEFANOS(in Greek)Sweetie, I cannot cut with this littlefucking knife.CELINEAre you guys fighting, with knives? Okay, stop it! Stop fighting withknives.ARIADNIWe're not fighting. We'renegotiating. Anna enters the kitchen and goes over to the refrigerator.CELINEOkay, negotiating, that's what youcall it? Wow, (in French)Negotiating with knives.35.ARIADNI(in French)Exactly.CELINE(In French)Not bad.STEFANOSThis is a system that we have.CELINEWow, so you found a system that worksfor you.ARIADNIMm-hm.CELINEI thought it was called arelationship. But I like "system",that's pretty good. That's ready,right?Ariadni walks over and takes a drag off his cigarette. STEFANOSThat's ready.Celine takes a platter of appetizers and begins to leave.CELINE(to Anna, in French)And you, what's your system?Anna gestures oral sex.CELINE (CONT'D)(in French)What about this system?Celine puts her tongue between her fingers by her lips.ANNA(in French)Not bad.Celine exits.STEFANOSWe used to have that system.Anna laughs.36.EXT. BEACH - AFTERNOONJesse leads the kids down the rock steps to the little patchof rocky beach under Patrick's house. JESSE Not too far, you guys!We catch a nice moment where Jesse is looking out at thesea, and at the kids, soaking it all up. He checks a textand the moment is gone.EXT. DINNER TABLE - LATE AFTERNOONNow in the middle of their dinner, Jesse taps his wine glassand gets everyone's attention.JESSEAll right, I don't want to let thismeal go by without saying thank youto everyone. And especially you,Patrick. We had no idea what wewere getting into these last sixweeks. A letter arrives from theuniversity, inviting us to theSouthern Peloponnese of Greece, tothe guest house of a great writer? 'Sure, why not?' And then at theairport earlier today, Hank turns tome and he says this has been thegreatest summer of his life. GROUP(Reacting)JESSEAnd I have to say the same. So,thank you Patrick, and not just forwhat you have done for me and myfamily but for all the ways you'vegiven back, all right. So, toPatrick! OTHERSTo Patrick...Glasses clink. PATRICKThank you, thank you, thank you. You know, when I first saw you atthe airport I thought, 'No way a mandressed like that could be a man ofletters.'37.GROUP(Laughing)PATRICKBut now, now I think I've learnedyour secret. We've had many greatwriters here over the past decadebut never one who had a partner moreinteresting than themselves. GROUP(Reacting)Ohh. Oh. (Laughing)CELINEI keep telling you. PATRICKAnd Celine, it's been so great tohave you and your daughters' wonderfulvitality around here, and I'm sohappy you've been able to meet mydear friend, Natalia, who's husbandElias was like a brother to me. CELINE(to Patrick)I'm so sorry about the curtains.PATRICKDon't worry. It's nothing.JESSEI know. I shouldn't have thrownthose cherries-CELINENo, I mean, really -JESSEIt was my fault. PATRICK/CELINENo, no. That's sweet of you.ACHILLESAnd Grandpa, thanks for includingAnna and me this summer... becauseyou know he usually puts me to workbut when I bring Anna he lets me sitat the table of the grown-ups. 38.JESSEWelcome to the grownups table! Hearhear!CELINE(to Anna)How long have you two been together?ANNASince last summer.ACHILLESWe met one year ago in my last fewdays here with grandpa before I hadto go back to Athens. ANNAYeah, we met at my closing nightcast party. I was doing Shakespeareat Epidavros...JESSESo, who did you play?ANNAI was Perdita in "A Winter's Tale".STEFANOSAnd she was fantastic! Remember,Patrick, we went to that?PATRICKAhhh Perdita... "When you do dance,I wish you a wave of the sea, thatyou might ever do nothing but that."GROUP(Reacting, Applauding)Bravo!STEFANOSThe way he just performed that wasmuch better than the guy at the play!ACHILLESActually, people are still talkingabout that production. ANNAYeah but... the after party was evenbetter. It's where we met.ACHILLESI had an old BSA motorcycle. 39.JESSENice.ACHILLESYeah. We drove around all night. And then I had to drive her back tothe theater to get her stuff. Andit was dawn.ANNAI'll never forget it. It's outdoorsand seats 12,000 people, but it wasnow completely empty.ACHILLESYeah. And she was sitting way up inthe back row. So, I went up on stageand whispered to her...ANNAYeah, the acoustics there areincredible. I could see his mouthmove and then, three seconds later,I could hear his voice in my ear.JESSE(to Anna, quietly)What'd he say?Anna just smiles, not saying.JESSE (CONT'D)Woah! Okay!ARIADNI(Laughing)That's private.ACHILLESAnd then she had to fly back to Parisa couple of days later.CELINEHow did you keep in touch?ACHILLESWe Skyped. Pretty much everydaysince then. ANNAYeah, and when we're apart we have athing of putting our laptops by thepillow and falling asleep together.40.CELINEAh, that's the new romance!ACHILLESAnd when I wake up the screen isusually frozen... and Anna's face isin some funny position like...(Mimes)STEFANOSOkay. Can I ask you a question? Please?ANNAYes.STEFANOSWhen you guys Skype, do you, youknow, do you go a little crazy?ARIADNIGod, you're being so vulgar!STEFANOSNo, I'm not being vulgar. I'm justbeing an amateur anthropologist whois interested in virtual words, on atheoretical level.ARIADNISo now you're an anthropologist?STEFANOSYeah. For instance, the sex of thenear future, okay, and I'm not makingthis up but, it's gonna be just likeplugging in, attaching something toyour genitals - I'm sorry - and thenyou'll be having virtual intercoursewith anyone of your choice. Youwill be able to program in all yourpreferences. You'll be able to typein exactly what you want MarilynMonroe to whisper in your ear. GROUP(Reacting)Hm..CELINEOh, I might like that.JESSECome on.41.ACHILLESI mean, why not? I mean, more andmore of our experiences are going totake place in the virtual world. ANNAYeah... And you are a writer, howare you going to feel when a computercan write a book better than "Warand Peace"?PATRICKIt'll never happen.ACHILLESI think it's only a question aboutWHEN it's going to happen, grandpa.JESSEYou know, I think I'm probably gonnafeel about the same way as Kasparov -you remember how all those chessplayers felt when they could no longercompete with that big-ass computer -STEFANOSThe Big Blue.JESSERight, right, right! Remember atfirst nobody thought a computer couldever beat our best.STEFANOSRight.JESSE(Accent)A machine lacks that ineffable humaninstinct.GROUP(Laughing)JESSEAnd now we can't even compete.CELINEI saw this documentary where theywere doing an experiment on a labrat and he was wired up and he couldpush a switch and have an orgasm.GROUP(Laughs)42.CELINEAnd so scientists were sort oflaughing at this pathetic littlecreature while it ignored its foodand water and didn't do anythingelse, and eventually it just died. I mean, I think that's the future ofhumanity. You know, just (Demonstrates RatDying)... And die.GROUP(Laughing)PATRICKWell, maybe so but every generationbelieves that they're witnessing theend of the world but... I feel thatI'm actually living it.JESSE Okay. All right, I have a questionfor you Patrick. I think a lot ofpeople are feeling that way. Youknow, that we're this kind of pleasureobsessed, porn-addled materialists,ceding our humanity to technology... At the same moment that computersare becoming sentient, right? Sowhat my question is: what is thisnotion of self to begin with? PATRICKIt's written over the portals to theTemple of Apollo at Delphi: It says"Gnothi seauton", which means "KnowThyself".JESSE Yeah, but we're kind of 99% automatedalready. Our personality - or thisthing we think of as ourself right -it's just a tiny fraction of whatthe brain is doing, right? STEFANOSYeah.JESSEMost of it's just automated bodyfunction.CELINEOkay.43.JESSESo then what is it we're actuallyceding?CELINE(Interrupting)If this notion of self is such asmall percentage of you, sweetie...JESSEYes.CELINEHow come I always hear so much aboutit?GROUP(Laughs)STEFANOSWell, it's just like my penis. Imean, it's not that big, it's a smallpart of myself, but it needs a lotof attention. CELINEHis too!ANNAAnd how did you two meet?ARIADNIYou don't know?ANNAWhat?STEFANOSWell, you have to read Jesse's books.CELINEYeah, especially if you want to knowexactly what it's like to have sexwith me, read away.STEFANOSRead away!CELINEOh, excuse me, Stefanos.STEFANOSNo, no. I mean it's well written.44.JESSEThank you. We met about 18 yearsago. We kinda, sort of, fell inlove a little bit, and then we losttrack of each other and a decadelater we ran into each other. CELINENo, no, no, we didn't run into eachother, sweetie-pie.JESSEWe didn't?CELINENo. You wrote a book "inspired" byour meeting...JESSEYeah, yeah...CELINEAnd I read about it and went to lookfor it.ANNAThat's pretty romantic.JESSEIt was really romantic.CELINENot really. Not really. He neglectsto mention he was married, had akid... JESSEDetails, details...CELINEYeah, that part was a disaster.JESSEIt wasn't a disaster. It wasinevitable.CELINEYeah. Okay. And the first time wehave sex without a condom, twins!JESSEYeah, one pitch, one homerun. Boom!45.CELINEAnd I've been chained to the sinkever since! I'm sorry to say that,but -ANNAIt's not that bad, is it? The girlsare so beautiful.JESSEThank you.CELINEThey're cute.GROUP(Laughs, Reacts)CELINEOkay, no no, it has some upsides. Let me tell you right now, Anna, howto keep a man.Anna nods.CELINE (CONT'D)You've gotta let them win at all thesilly little games...JESSEOh, okay.CELINE... They like. When I met Jesse,the first night we were playingpinball, and of course I waswinning...JESSEIs the foundation to our entirerelationship a lie? It is. It is.CELINE... And at the last minute I let theball go down the middle. It buildstheir confidence.JESSENo, she can't beat me at one game,not any game.CELINEIf I didn't let him win at everygame... we would never have sex. (MORE)46.CELINE (CONT'D)I mean, I'm sorry to say it, buthe's actually a closet macho. Hedreams of having a bimbo for a wife. GROUP(Laughs)CELINEDreams!JESSEIt's my greatest aspiration. A bimbo,that's it.Celine changes her demeanor and voice, playing really dumb.STEFANOSWhoa!CELINE(Baby voice)So...STEFANOSUh-oh.JESSEYes?GROUP(OS, Laughing)CELINESo you're a writer?JESSEYeah. Yeah, sure.CELINESo you write like... books?GROUP(Laughing)JESSEI've written a few, sure. Sure,yeah.CELINEWow. I've never met a writer before.JESSE(Laughing Nervously)Really. Yeah?47.CELINEYou must be really smart.JESSEWell, I - you know.CELINEYou know, I can't even write my ownname sometimes when I'm tired.JESSEWhat kind of books do you like?CELINEWell, I like stories with a meaningbehind them, like a really beautifullove story...JESSEOh, sure, yeah.CELINEYou know, I read this book once,"Romeo and..."JESSE"...Juliet". Right?CELINEYeah!JESSEOh, yeah. CELINEWow, you know it!JESSEIt's very good, yeah. It's a playactually, not a book. A play. CELINEOh, I thought it was a book based onthe movie.JESSENo -(Laughs)No, a play, yeah.GROUP(OS, Laughing)48.CELINEOkay, it was a play. Wow. Well,actually I didn't read the wholething because you know, sometimes Ihave to keep up and read thosemagazines to know exactly what isgoing on in all those people's lives. JESSEWell, that is important.CELINEOkay. Well, you're very, very smartand (whispering)I bet you have a gigantic penis.JESSEWhy am I finding myself so attractedto this woman!CELINEYes, he is - calm down!GROUP(Reacts)STEFANOSWow.CELINEAnd that's the funny part of it! The not-so-funny part of the closetmacho, okay -- is that today, afterwe drop Henry off, he tells me thateven though I have an offer for anamazing job, he wants me to throw itall away and move to Chicago.JESSEThat's not what I said.CELINEYes.JESSEI said I missed him. You wereexpressing something you feltconflicted about and I did the same.CELINESo we can baby sit every other weekendfor his ex-wife! I mean hilarious.49.ARIADNIHey, hey, hey! You guys stop it. It must have been so hard sayinggoodbye to Hank today, right? CELINEYeah, of course.ARIADNII mean, he's such an amazing kid.ACHILLESTell him I already miss my chesspartner.JESSERight away.ARIADNIWhen Stefanos and I split up...STEFANOSYeah?ARIADNII'm getting full custody.STEFANOSOh. Well that's ok for a whilebecause me and my 20 year oldgirlfriend will be a littlepreoccupied. GROUP(Laughs)ARIADNI(laughter)I love men.STEFANOSAnd I love you.ARIADNIOk, I have a story that my husbandhere loves and that's going tell youeverything you need to know aboutmasculine and feminine. Right? Okay, ready? JESSE/STEFANOSYeah.50.ARIADNIMy mom used to be a nurse. So shewas there when people were comingout of their comas. STEFANOSOh, that story. Yeah.ARIADNIListen! Listen.STEFANOSI'm listening.ARIADNIIt's an interesting story.STEFANOSI'm listening.ARIADNISo she was the one to tell them,"Hi, my name's Katerina. You'recoming out of a coma."Stefanos is mouthing words behind her.ANNA(Laughing)I'm sorry.ARIADNI"You've been in a really badautomobile accident. You're goingto be okay."Ariadni puts her hands over Stefanos' mouth.ARIADNI (CONT'D)"You're going to be fine," and youknow, stuff like that. She saidthat every woman, the very firstthing, the first reaction she wouldhave would be to ask about everybodyelse. "How are my kids? How's myhusband? Is anyone else hurt?" Every man - with no exception - whenthey were told this, what was thefirst thing they did? Looked downat their cock.GROUP(Laughs)51.JESSEWell, you know what? You've gottamake sure it's still there, all right? You've gotta make sure it's stillworking, you have to!ARIADNIOf course, of course!STEFANOSAlive and kicking.ARIADNIYeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. STEFANOSYeah, all that.ARIADNIAnd only eventually, eventually,they would come around to askingabout their kids, or about someoneelse they might have accidentallykilled. Stuff like that. Importantstuff.CELINEDoesn't that just say it all? Penisfirst, then the rest of the world.ARIADNI, ANNA, WOMEN(Chanting)Penis, penis, penis, penis, penis,penis--JESSEOkay, whoa, whoa, whoa. If you canexplain it all on strictly genderterms, why do you or why does anywoman waste time getting mad at orbother trying to change a man? STEFANOSExactly. It's all biology. What isthe problem?CELINE(to Jesse)And you're so, so good at turningthings around. I mean, he is agenius! 52.JESSENo, I'm just trying to say it's likebeing pissed at a frog for beinggreen. STEFANOSExactly.CELINEYeah. Yeah, exactly!ANNAHearing all this, I wonder if thisidea of a love affair that lastsforever is still relevant to us? Imean, we know that we are going tobreak up eventually. ACHILLESDefinitely.JESSE(to Anna and Achilles)Okay, but are your parents stilltogether?ANNANo way.JESSENo. And what about you?ACHILLESThey are. But they could be divorced.JESSEYeah, they could.ACHILLES(Laughs)I mean, I think that if they hadmore money they wouldn't still betogether.ARIADNIGod, you guys are so practical! Iwas born into the wrong generation.ANNAMy grandmother's mother wrote to ourwhole family a twenty-six page letterfrom her deathbed. And she spentthree pages on the costumes she didfor a play and only one paragraph onher husband.53.JESSEWas she an actress too?ANNANo, she was a...(in French)How do you say, seamstress?CELINE(in English)A seamstress. Seamstress.ANNASeamstress...and she had all thesewonderful friends. About my greatgrandfather she mentioned threeevents: He went to the war, we movedbecause of his job, and he died. Her big advice was not to be tooconsumed with romantic love. Friendships and work, she said,brought her the most happiness. ARIADNII couldn't agree more. I mean, that'sthe thing that fucks us up, right? This idea of a soul mate, of someonewho will come to complete us andsave us from having to take care ofourselves. With Stefanos, I set thebar extremely low - I know he is notgoing to meet any of my needs. GROUP(Laughing)STEFANOSDefinitely not!ACHILLES(to Patrick)So what about grandma? Was she asoul mate?PATRICKWell, sounds appealing, but actuallyyour grandmother was more rationalthan that. She took care of herselfand asked me to do the same, withplenty of room to meet in the middle.ANNAYeah that sounds ideal.54.STEFANOSYeah, it is, actually. It is. PATRICKBut it must be obvious that my wifeis not here today. We were neverone person, always two. We preferredit that way.ARIADNIThat's so beautiful. I think myhusband is always trying to almostcolonize me, you know.STEFANOSI colonize you?ARIADNIYes, but I colonize you, too, darling.STEFANOSWell okay then.PATRICKBut at the end of the day, it's notthe love of one other person thatmatters, it's the love of life.STEFANOSThat's good to know, Patrick, becauselife I can handle, Ariadni, on theother hand... We all know that theGreeks invented tragedy, right, andon top of that she's from the regionof Mani, which is short for maniac!GROUP(Laughs)CELINEAsk about the hotel.JESSEHey, you guys, if we can't make thathotel room tonight, could you get arefund, or use it yourselves or -STEFANOSNo, no, we don't get a refund.ARIADNIAre you trying to get out of it? Because you're going.55.STEFANOSYou gotta go.CELINENo, it's such a great gift you'vegiven us, but I'm so stressed gettingall the packing ready, the girls and -ARIADNINo, no, no -STEFANOSWe made a deal, guys, you watchedour kids. You're gonna love it.ARIADNIWe're going to watch yours.STEFANOSIt's really, really good.ARIADNIIt's a fantastic, fantastic walk tothe hotel, and you won't regret it. And we'll be very offended if youdon't go.STEFANOSIt is. CELINEOkay. Thank you.ARIADNIYou're going.NATALIAWell, when I think of Elias, what Imiss the most about him is the wayhe used to lie down next to me atnight. Sometimes his arm wouldstretch along my chest. I couldn'tmove, I even held my breath, but Ifelt safe... complete. I miss theway he was whistling walking downthe street. Every time I dosomething, I think of what he wouldsay: "Well its cold today, wear ascarf." But lately I've beenforgetting little things. He's sortof fading and I'm starting to forgethim and it's like losing him again. (MORE)56.NATALIA (CONT'D)Sometimes, I make myself rememberevery detail of his face - the exactcolor of his eyes, his lips, histeeth, the texture of his skin, hishair - that was all gone by the timehe went. And sometimes, not always,but sometimes I can actually seehim. It is as if a cloud moves awayand there he is. I could almosttouch him, but then the real worldrushes in, and he vanishes again. For a while, I did this every morning,when the sun was not too brightoutside because the sun somehow makeshim vanish. He appears and hedisappears like a sunrise or sunset,anything so ephemeral. Just likeour life - we appear and we disappearand we are so important to some,but, we are just passing through. JESSE(Toasting)To passing through. EXT. WALK - EVENINGCeline and Jesse are walking through a very old area, in mid-conversation.JESSE... And eventually he catches hisface in the window's reflection. And he realizes he's no longer anine-year-old boy, right? He'ssuddenly old, he's got a beard, hiseyes are watery, and he's still - CELINE Oh, this one seems sad. At first Ithought you were going to tell methe story about the guy that has animaginary friend. JESSEWhich one?CELINE And when he's in his fifties theimaginary friend shows up again,right?JESSEWith the hummingbird?57.CELINE Yes, that's the one.JESEYeah. Oh, you like that one?CELINE It's funny.JESSEOh.CELINERemember that letter that you let meread that you wrote when you weretwenty, to yourself at forty?JESSEYeah, I remember the first sentence:Dear Forty-Year-Old Jesse, I hopeyou're not divorced.CELINENo, I didn't even remember that part. I meant all the other things in thatletter...you were the same guy. JESSEYeah...CELINEI mean, we always think we'reevolving, but maybe we can't changethat much.JESSEYou know how I think I've changedthe most?CELINEHow?JESSEWhen I was younger I just wantedtime to speed up. You know?CELINEWhy?JESSEWell. So I could be on my own. SoI could be free from my parents andschool and all that shit. You know? (MORE)58.JESSE (CONT'D)I just wanted to close my eyes andwake up and be an adult. And then Ikind of feel like that all happenedand I just want everything to slowdown. CELINE Hm... it's strange - I've always hadthis feeling, no matter where I amin my life, that it's either a memoryor a dream. JESSE I know, you've always thought that.And me too, it's like, is this reallymy life? Like, is it happening rightnow? CELINE It is.JESSE I know.Celine and Jesse laugh.JESSE (CONT'D)Every year I just seem to get a littlebit more humbled and more overwhelmedabout all the things I'm never goingto know or understand.CELINEThat's what I keep telling you. Youknow nothing! JESSE I know, I know! I'm coming around!Celine and Jesse laugh.CELINEBut not knowing is not so bad. Imean, the point is to be looking,searching. To stay hungry, right? JESSE I know, it's true. I just wish itwas a little easier.CELINEHow do you mean?59.JESSEWell, just to maintain a certainlevel of passion, you know? I meanit used to come so naturally. Iremember when I was younger, me andall my writer friends, we just feltlike we were doing somethingimportant, you know? Like this wasour time. CELINEBut you were all a bunch of arrogantlittle pricks, right?JESSENo, we -CELINESounds like. (Laugh)JESSEAll right, maybe. I don't know, itjust grew out of all this energy youknow, this creativity or whateverambitions people had. You know, Ithink you gotta be a little deludedto stay motivated. CELINEYoung men have this thing aboutcomparing themselves all the time. They have all these signposts theyjudge themselves by. You used to dothat all the time. JESSE Do what? What do you mean?CELINEWith like: Rimbaud read this byseventeen, F. Scott Fitzgerald didthis by thirty... JESSE And Balzac wrote a book beforebreakfast every day, so what thehell am I doing?CELINEYeah. But women don't think thatway as much. JESSE You don't think so?60.CELINENo. We have much less to compareourselves to maybe. Most women whoachieve anything in life, the firsttime you hear about them, they're intheir 50's, because it was so hardfor them to get any recognition beforethen. They struggle for 30 years orthey raise kids and were stranded athome before they could finally dowhat they want. Actually, you knowwhat? It's kind of freeing. Wedon't have to spend our livescomparing ourselves to Martin LutherKing, Gandhi, Tolstoy... JESSE(Laughing)Well, what about Joan of Arc, right? I mean, she was a teenager and shesaved France. So... CELINEWho wants to be Joan of Arc, okay?JESSENo?CELINEForget France. She was burned atthe stake and a virgin! Okay? Nothing I aspire to. What a greatachievement! JESSE(Laughing)Okay! All right, all right, allright. Whatever.CELINE(Laughs)Oh, god.JESSE What?CELINENo, nothing.JESSE What?CELINE It's just so weird.61.JESSE What do you mean?CELINE Oh, just this. Us. Walking, havinga conversation...JESSE Oh, I know.CELINE ... About something else thanscheduling, food, work.JESSE Yeah, I mean, how long's it beensince we just wandered aroundbullshitting? CELINE Do you hear what I hear?JESSE The sea? CELINE No.JESSE What, oh! No small feet. Nothingbeing knocked over, nothing we haveto clean up, no injustices beingdone.CELINE Yeah. So when was the last time?JESSE When we had nowhere we had to be? CELINE Yeah.JESSE You remember walking around LuxembourgGardens?CELINE Yeah.JESSE Do you? I used to kick your ass atping pong on those concrete tables.62.CELINE Hey, congratulations! You beat awoman pregnant with twins!JESSE Well, it's better than losing to apregnant woman with twins.CELINE Such a gentleman! Yeah.JESSE (a beat)Hah-ha! You know what I think? Ithink its from the time we leave ourparents house until we have kids -that's the only time your life iscompletely your own. You know Ithink I had about a decade of that. It was great. It was just like onelong, flowing... a day, a week, ayear, there wasn't much difference. CELINE No, I used to keep track of timethrough jobs and boyfriends and stufflike that. Now I can tell you everydetail of the past seven years basedon what was happening in the girls'lives.JESSE Yeah, right. Totally.CELINE You do that too?JESSE Yeah, I mean time's demarcated now...CELINE Really?JESSE Why?CELINE No, no, I'm just surprised. I'msurprised you do that too. No but,okay - quick test. JESSE Oh, no...63.CELINE August 2009. Come on, it's a quickone. What was happening?JESSE August 2009 - we were on vacationwith your parents. Nina got thechicken pox first, quickly followedby Ella. CELINE I'm so impressed. JESSE Yeah. So do I get a gold star?CELINE Maybe. Hey. Can I ask you aquestion?JESSE Sure.CELINE If we were meeting for the firsttime today on a train, would youfind me attractive?JESSE Of course.CELINE No, but really, right now as I am? Would you start talking to me? Wouldyou ask me to get off the train withyou? CELINE/JESSE(Laugh)JESSE Well, I mean, you're asking atheoretical question. I mean, whatwould my life situation be? I meantechnically, wouldn't I be cheatingon you? CELINEOkay. Why can't you just say "yes"?JESSE No, I did. I said, "of course"! That was -64.CELINENo-no-no! I wanted you to saysomething romantic and you blew it. JESSE Oh, okay. Alright, wait - if I sawyou on a train, okay, listen. Iwould lock eyes with you.CELINEUh-huh.JESSEAnd then I'd walk right up to youand I'd say, "Hey, baby. You aremaking me as horny as a billy goatin a briar patch."He grabs her ass. CELINEStop it, that's disgusting! Billygoat. No, the truth is, you failedthe test. And the fact is, you wouldnot pick me up on a train. Youwouldn't even notice me, a fat-assedmiddle-aged mom, losing her hair. JESSEOkay. (Laughing)Losing her hair?CELINEYeah, that's me!JESSEYou set me up to fail. Honestly,you did.CELINEOkay, true. True. JESSEAlright? Alright? But in the realworld, baldy, on game day when itmattered, I DID talk to you on atrain. I did that, it was the bestthing I ever did. CELINEReally? Look at the goats. Hello.65.JEESEHey. Alright. You know, that's noteven a good question, all right? The real question would be if I DIDask you to get off a train... CELINEYeah?JESSEWould you get off with me?CELINENo, of course not. I have peoplewaiting for me.JESSEYeah, see, so?CELINEYou know, and (Laughing)A forty-one-year-old horny billygoat? How creepy! I'm creeped outright now. Help, politzia!JESSEI can't believe I'm 41.CELINEYeah, me neither. You've gotten soold. I never thought I'd sleep withanyone over 40. JESSEYeah, yeah... what?CELINEActually, you know what? You're theoldest guy I've ever slept with.JESSEWell, that's something. That's good.CELINEIt's true.JESSEI know I'm not the oldest guy you'veever blown.CELINEWhat?66.JESSEThat conference in Warsaw?CELINEWhat conference?JESSELech Walesa.CELINELech Walesa... oh, what are youtalking about?JESSEIt's okay. It was before we weretogether, you can admit it. I canremember the way you talked abouthow he "opened your heart". Youdefinitely blew him. Definitely. CELINEOh, okay. You're really crazy. That was Gorbachev, okay? Yougeographically challenged, footballobsessed, donut loving American. That was Gorbachev. JESSEI'm sorry, I got my Eastern Blocleaders mixed up. Okay? CELINEAnd I didn't blow him at all! Okay? Take it back!JESSEOkay. All right, okay. Okay!CELINEGod!JESSESo was it Vaclav Havel? Or -CELINEAll right, you know..EXT. WALK PART TWO - EVENINGThey're now walking through a small, very old town.JESSEListen to this. I was going to waitto tell you this until later but,whatever. I'm so bad with secrets.67.CELINEWhat? You have a tumor in your brain? You're going to die?JESSENo, no, no, no. Nothing like thatalright? Well actually, it's kindalike that. My grandmother died. CELINEWhat? When?JESSEYeah, my dad texted me right beforewe ate.CELINEOh, I'm so sorry. Why didn't youtell me?JESSEAh, I know. Well, everybody's beenexpecting it. You know, she lived along time, had a great life. Shewas ninety-six.CELINEOkay. She didn't live much longerafter your grandfather died, though. JESSENo, barely a year. I mean the funnything is, this woman was a frickin'saint.CELINEYeah.JESSEShe was a nurse in the war, she tookcare of all of us, you know. I mean,she never said an unkind word aboutanybody.CELINEAh, I wish I'd met her.JESSENo, it's okay, because by the end,you know, she just really wasn'tinto meeting new people. I meanafter a lifetime of being sweet as pie - once grandpa died, she gotkinda ornery. 68.CELINEWell you know, it happens, she wasin mourning, no?JESSEWell, my dad said she was just waitingto die.CELINEHow long were they married? JESSE74 years.CELINEFuck!JESSE(Laughs)Yeah.CELINEHow is that even possible? How oldwill we be if we're together seventy-four years?JESSEMm... well, when would we startcounting from?CELINEI guess from the first time we hadsex. No?JESSEOkay. Yeah, good. So, so um, 1994.(Muttering, CalculatingUnder His Breath)CELINEOkay. '94... fifty-six years fromnow.JESSEOkay. We will be ninety-eight.CELINE/JESSEUgh!!!CELINEWill you be able to put up with mefor another fifty-six more years? Ineed to know! Okay? 'Cause I don'tknow if I'm gonna be able to put upwith you.69.JESSEIt's crazy if you think about allthe change they saw. I mean, whenthey met neither one of them hadelectricity. He used to take her toschool on his horse, right?CELINEOh, that's so romantic... it'sincredible.JESSEI know. When they graduated, he wasvaledictorian and she wassalutatorian. CELINEWhat is that?JESSEHe was top of the class and she wassecond. CELINEI bet she knowingly got a couple of answers wrong just to make sure hedidn't feel threatened.JESSEWell, if she wanted to get laid,she'd better have.CELINEYeah, obviously like you-know-who.JESSERight. Well, anyway, so I called mydad, right? After I got the text,just to... CELINEYeah, yeah, of course, yeah.JESSE... You know, tell him I was sorry...but I think I kind of screwed up. At some point I told him 'Hey Dad,you're an orphan now.' He didn'tthink that was funny. CELINENo, it's not funny at all. JESSEYeah, I guess not. (MORE)70.JESSE (CONT'D)(Laughs)CELINEHe's next, then you. JESSEI know. Well, he told me that mygrandparents want to have a jointservice. They want to have theirashes intermingled and be buried asone. CELINEYour grandfather didn't have afuneral?JESSENo, remember? They vowed to eachother they'd never have to attendone another's funerals. CELINEOh, yeah. I kind of like the ideaof you attending mine.JESSE(Laughs)What?CELINEImagining you in a suit, clean shavenfor once... and holding hands withthe girls... I don't know, I likeit.JESSEYou're gonna outlive me.CELINEWell, I'll see. I guess one of uswill see.JESSEYou think you want to go to theservice with me?CELINETo Texas?JESSEUh, it's not going to be in Paris.71.CELINEHow bad do you want me there? Imean I would come but it's reallyexpensive with the flights... JESSEJust skip it - it'd be simpler to goalone.CELINE(To Barking Dog)Oh, hello.JESSEHello, buddy.CELINEWell you know, if I'm not there it'llbe easier for you to fuck yourcousins.JESSE(Laughs)Yes, that's true.CELINEYeah. Isn't that common where youcome from? I mean... you didn'tanswer the question. JESSEWhat question?CELINEWill you be able to put up with mefor another 56 more years?JESSEI am looking forward to it.CELINEShit, you're really working it.JESSE(Spanish accent returns)Ze nectar of your sex ages like afine wine.CELINEUh-oh, my hairy Spanish lover isback.JESSEGreek. I'm Greek now, for sure. Greek, yeah.72.CELINE(a beat)Oh! Look at this! Wow. This placesort of reminds me of this film Isaw when I was a teenager. It was ablack and white film from the 50s. I remember a couple walking throughthe ruins of Pompeii, looking atbodies that had been lying there forcenturies. I remember the bodiescaught in their sleep, still lovinglyholding each other. I don't knowwhy, sometimes I have this image inmy mind when, you know, we're asleepand you hold me. JESSEWhat, of being buried alive undermolten ash, that's what you'rethinking about?CELINEYeah!(Laughing)JESSEThat's not very fun.CELINE(Laughing)Well... I don't know, it's nothorrible. They had some bodies withlittle kids sleeping between them...JESSEOh, that's nice!CELINEYeah! I guess I was young and a bitmorbid - I mean at that age youromanticize the idea of dying withthe person you love. JESSEWell, you wanna die with me?CELINEMaybe, if it were, you know, ourfirst night together, then, a longtime ago. But now, no. I'd like tolive!73.JESSEWell, I just wanted you to saysomething romantic and you blew it! Putain de merde!CELINEOh, no! Putain de merde, I blew it. Okay, if we're both 98 you can askme again, but anytime sooner...Ehhnt! (Whispers)Sorry. They are walking by an old, tiny Chapel.JESSEHey, this is the chapel I was tellingyou about. It's from the Byzantineera, it's like a thousand years old. CELINECan we go in?JESSEYeah. I think so. Check this out. Hello? Hello.CELINEOh, wow!They enter.INT. CHAPEL - AFTERNOONJESSEIt's a shrine to Saint Odilia, apatron saint to eyesight. Peoplecome from all over, they leave littlededications to the blind, to helprestore sight. CELINEI'm sure it works.He is looking at the old faded paintings on the walls.JESSEMaybe. These paintings here, theymake me think of those Japanese monks,you know, with their deal onimpermanence. They like to paintwith water on rock on a hot day soby the time they're done it's alreadyevaporated. Celine notices all the icons have been subtly defaced.74.CELINEAll the eyes are scratched out. Isthat about the blindness?JESSENo, I thought that too, but thecaretaker guy, he told me that theTurks did that during the Occupation. CELINEThat's it! I'm never eating Turkishfood again.JESSEOh, okay. Well, that'll send a shiverthrough the international community.CELINEOkay fine, then I'll never suckanother Turkish cock.JESSE(Laughs)Now THAT's gonna have a global impact.CELINEOh, that's terrible. No, I forgotyou're a closet Christian. Is itreally bad to make blow-job jokes ina church? Jesse just shrugs.JESSEKind of is, okay? But we've doneworse.CELINE(a beat)The girls asked me again what ourwedding was like.JESSEYeah? What'd you say?CELINEI said it was very low key.JESSEYeah, very low key. So low key Idon't even remember it.CELINEVery Quaker. (MORE)75.CELINE (CONT'D)I don't know why they want us to bemarried so badly. It's important tothem. JESSEWe're in a church. You want to getmarried?CELINENo. JESSENo.CELINEIt's just all those fairy tales theylike so much, you know? Rememberwhen they were little, at the end ofevery cartoon they watched, they'dbe all "Oh they're getting married!" Even if it's Pinocchio and his dad,or Donald Duck and his nephews. EXT. WALK PART THREE- EVENINGThey are now walking through the town on their way to theshore.CELINESo if we're going to spend anotherfifty-six more years together...JESSEYeah?CELINE... What about me would you like tochange? JESSE(Smirks)That's another one of your can't-winquestions. I'm not answering that.CELINEWhat do you mean? There's not onething you'd like to change about me? I'm perfect? JESSEOkay.CELINEOkay.76.JESSEActually...CELINEOne thing.JESSE... If I could change one thing aboutyou...CELINEUh-huh.JESSE... It would be for you to stop tryingto change me.CELINEYou're a very skilled manipulator,you know that?JESSEWell, I'm onto you. I know how youwork.CELINEYou think?JESSEYeah. I know everything about you. Here we go. Let's go through here.CELINEI don't think you do, actually. (Laughs)JESSE(Laughs)No? Well, I know you better than Iknow anybody else on the planet. But... maybe that's not saying much.CELINEI mean right now?JESSEWhat?CELINEThis is great. You know?JESSERight. Yeah.77.CELINEI feel close to you.JESSEYeah.CELINEBut sometimes, I don't know, I feellike you're breathing helium and I'mbreathing oxygen.JESSE(helium voice)What makes you say that? Huh?CELINESee? I'm trying to truly connect -JESSE(Helium voice)What? Come on, I'm just beingmyself!CELINE- And you make a joke! That's exactlywhat I'm talking about!JESSEOh, listen, come on, come on. Ifwe're ever going to truly know oneanother, I think we'd probably haveto get to know ourselves better first.CELINEYeah. Do you remember this friendof mine? George, from New York.JESSENo.CELINEOh, no, that was before. That wasbefore.JESSEWhat was?CELINEHe was this friend of mine that,when he found out he had leukemia,and he was probably going to die, heconfessed to me that the first thingthat came to his mind was relief.78.JESSERelief? But why?CELINEWell, before he found out he hadnine months to live he was always soworried about money, and now histhought was, great! I have morethan enough money to live for thenext nine months, I've made it!JESSE(Laughing)Oh, okay.CELINEAnd then he was finally able to enjoyeverything about life, even likebeing stuck in traffic. He wouldjust enjoy looking at people...staring at their faces. Just littlethings.JESSEAnd then what happened?CELINEWhat do you mean?JESSEWell, like, is he still alive?CELINENo, he died. A long time ago.JESSE (a beat)Last night I had this dream where Iwas reading a book. It was a lostclassic, "The Rovers". CELINE"The Rovers"?JESSEYeah, like roving around, you know,wandering? It was all these youngpeople.CELINEOkay. Is that a real book?JESSENo, no, no. 79.CELINENo?JESSEBut it was really great.CELINEOkay.JESSEIt was fresh, funny, experimental,it had all this energy...CELINEI love that you read books in yourdreams.JESSEI know, and they're always reallygood. CELINEI have major action hero dreams,like I'm flying around like asuperhero, breaking through walls. And at the end, I have an orgasm.JESSE(Laughs)Well, I'm gonna try to make yourdreams come true, babe.They arrive at the waterfront. The sun is now setting overthe ocean.EXT. CAFE - EVENINGThey are now sitting at an outdoor table with a couple ofglasses of wine, staring at the last bit of the fireball,quickly disappearing. CELINEStill there. Still there. ... Stillthere. Still there. ... Gone.They sit in silence. Eventually, Jesse looks over at Celineand notices she's moved. He just takes her hand. The sunis now gone.INT. HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHTAs they are checking into the hotel, Jesse is signing variouspaperwork.80.HOTEL CLERK #1I need your credit card.JESSEOh, I think the room is paid for.HOTEL CLERK #1Yes it is, but the credit card isfor (Speaks Greek)CELINEIncidentals. JESSERight, of course.Another HOTEL CLERK (#2) emerges from office with his twobooks.SOFIAMr. Wallace?JESSEYeah?SOFIAI am such a fan of these two books. My husband gave me your book on ourfirst date and then when your secondbook came out, we read it out loudtogether.JESSEOh, wow.SOFIAWould you please sign them to us?JESSEYeah, of course, of course.SOFIAThank you.JESSEI love the art work on these Greekeditions, it's really nice. Uh,what do you need?SOFIAMake it to Sofia and Pavlos. JESSEOkay. How's the Greek translation? 81.As Jesse signs the books, the Hotel Clerk starts payingattention to Celine.SOFIAWell, it's called "Afti ti Fora,Ekini ti Fora"JESSE"Ekini ti Fora."SOFIABut I'm not sure it's a great one.JESSEWell, that's because you never readit in English, right?SOFIAExactly. ... That's great. Couldyou sign them too?CELINEMe?SOFIAYes. You're the real Madeline, right?CELINEMadeline? Not really. People assumeit's me but it's - it's not me atall. He's got a big imagination.SOFIAWould you be so kind? It would meanso much to my husband. The book is passed to Celine.CELINEI can't sign a book I didn't write. It doesn't make -Jesse passes the books to Celine.JESSEShe'd be happy to.SOFIAOkay. Thank you.CELINEI'm happy to.She begins to sign.82.JESSEEfharisto.CELINEOkay. Thank you. SOFIAGreat. Thank you so much.INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHTCeline and Jesse enter the room.JESSECheck it out!CELINEWow, this is nice!JESSEYeah.CELINEClean... air conditioning... I loveit! Oh my god. JESSEIt's great.CELINEWow, oh wow, that bath tub.Jesse goes over to the table to examine what's on it.JESSEHey, check this out. Stefanos andAriadni got us a bottle of wine anda couple's massage. CELINEThey are so nice, we have to getthem a present before we leave.JESSEI know, we should remember to getsomething for the kids, too. CELINEYeah, I know. For sure. Wow. Imiss the girls.Jesse seductively touches her.JESSEMmm, I don't.83.Then kisses her. She eventually looks out the window.CELINEThis is such a nice view. Look.JESSEThe only view that I am interestedin...CELINEWhat?JESSE... Is right... here. Here. Let'ssee this.He slowly undoes her top, revealing her still-perfect breasts. They kiss passionately. JESSE (CONT'D)(Whispering)What?CELINE (touches his chin)It's funny. I never noticed untiltoday but... all the red in yourbeard is gone. It used to be one ofthe things that made me fall foryou, it's crazy.JESSEWell, it's not gone, it's just white. You're not gonna tell me that yourlove is dependent on pigment, areyou? No?CELINENo, but you know, I see the red inour girls' eyelashes. I look atthem and it makes me think of whenwe met. JESSEYou know what I'm looking forwardto?CELINEYeah? What?JESSEAfter uh...CELINEAfter?84.JESSEYeah.(Laughing)CELINEWhat?JESSEIs waking up next to you alone.CELINEYou mean without Nina and Ella jumpingon our heads.JESSEExactly. I haven't heard you thinkin years now.CELINEThink?JESSEI used to wake up to that sound ofyour eyes opening and closing, andthat brain of yours going two millionmiles an hour. I miss it, hearingyou think.CELINEWhen you said you could hear me think,I really thought you could. But itwas just my eyelids. How dumb andromantic of me.JESSEIt's my favorite thing.CELINEI miss thinking, too. No morethinking in the morning, no moremorning sex.JESSETomorrow...CELINEI'm looking forward to it so much, Idon't think I will sleep. JESSEI'm looking forward to right now.CELINEOkay, then stop talking, so we canfuck.85.They kiss until Celine's cell phone rings.CELINE (CONT'D)(Laughs)Oh, shit, who is it?JESSEThe kids.Celine crawls out of bed and heads across the room towardher bag.CELINEI said they could call in case ofemergency only. Hope the girls areokay. Okay. Oh, it's Henry. Okay.Celine picks up.CELINE (CONT'D)Hi sweetie - are you okay? Are youin London? Oh! Oh, already?(listens)Oh, no, we found it. Uh, we'll mailit tomorrow morning.(listens)Yeah. Ohh, they miss you, too. I'll kiss them for you. Okay, I'lltell him. Good luck with your mom -I love you too. Bye. Celine hangs up. Jesse gestures for the phone are againignored.CELINE (CONT'D)He's fine. He says he'll call youfrom Chicago when he lands.JESSEWhy can't I talk to him? That'stwice you've done that. C'mon, youcould have just handed me the phone. You know I want to talk to him. CELINEWell, he didn't have time to talk -he said they were boarding.JESSEAnd what'd he forget? What was that? Jesse glares.86.CELINEHis science project. But we'll mailit tomorrow. It'll be fine.JESSEYou shouldn't have said that abouthis mom.CELINEWhat? What did I say?JESSE"Good luck with your mom." (Laughs)I mean, come on -CELINEI didn't mean anything by it.JESSEI know, but it's not good. It justreminds him of the whole thing. Ijust wish you wouldn't do that... CELINEOh, like you think he forgets?JESSENo... CELINEThat's so American to just sweep itunder the carpet and act as if itdidn't happen.JESSEWhy put it into his head? You know? What if he doesn't want to be thinkingabout that right now? He's toostressed.CELINEIt means nothing.JESSEIt means something. It does.CELINEAlright, I even made a joke the otherday that his mom and I should try tosettle it in one big mud wrestlingcontest.JESSEMud wrestling? You said that?87.CELINEAnd he laughed. He might have moreof a sense of humor than you do. Come on. JESSEWe just talked about that. When yousay bad things about his mom, whathe hears is bad things about himself.CELINEWell, I didn't say anything bad abouthis mom. I made a joke; it's asmuch on me as it is on her.JESSEWell you're right. I know, I know,I know. Just why conjure it up atall, you know? Jesse gets up out of bed and goes across the room, goes toCeline's purse and turns off her phone. CELINEI think he's old enough now. I mean,he knows how bad it is between hismother and I. JESSEHis mom and me.CELINEAnd I didn't do anything, it's allcoming from her towards me. Okay,she hates me; yes, I fucked herhusband a long time ago. Or shouldI say, he fucked me? JESSEYeah, right!CELINEMaking a joke about the fact thathis mom and I don't love each otheris not the issue. That's not goingto traumatize him. That alreadyhappened, alright, and now you'retrying to transfer your guilt andblame me? JESSENo, I'm not.88.CELINEYou know, on the contrary, if he canmake a joke about it, maybe he'll beable to live with it better. That'swhat I think.JESSEOkay. You're right. As always. Let's just not talk about it, okay?CELINEIt's nobody's fault if his mom is adrunk and abusive psychologically. JESSEDon't say that!CELINEI mean, it makes me sick that he hasto be with her, but I guess judgesassume that women have the motherinstinct. She has the mother instinctof Medea!Jesse goes to the bathroom and washes off his face.JESSEMedea, huh?CELINEYeah, after all, it is a Greek myth.JESSEIt's actually a play by Euripides,but -CELINEA woman killing her kids to punishher ex-husband? That's basicallywhat she's doing, she's hurting himto get to you.JESSENo, she's making my life hell throughhim, that's what she's doing. Youknow, sometimes, you say things thatjust go too far. CELINEOkay, stop blaming me for everythingthat is wrong in this whole thingwith your wife, okay?JESSEEx-wife! Ex-wife for a long time!89.CELINEOkay, you should have dealt with ita little better back then. Shewouldn't have hated us so much.JESSEOkay--I screwed up. And I love thislittle re-write you do: everythingthat isn't perfect in our life getslaid at my feet... CELINEAnd now you're putting this shit onme about Henry?JESSEWhat shit? What're you talking about?Jesse takes off his pants and returns to the bed. Celineimmediately begins putting on her top and gets up.CELINELet me tell you what I'm talkingabout: the moving to Chicago andgiving up of my life. Now that youmention that Henry needs you, how doyou think that makes me feel? I'mmiserable! Alright? How can I takethat job now? Tell me! JESSEOkay.CELINETell me. I'll feel too guilty! No-no-no-no-no!JESSELook, look. That's a choice you'remaking, to look at it like that,alright? CELINEIt is in the nature of women to bethe nurturah. JESSEThe what?CELINENur-tchur-yer.JESSEThe nurturer?90.CELINEOkay, I can't even say that fuckingword! I just naturally feel badabout everything. And you give methat look, like it's my fault. JESSEWhat look?CELINEThat look, the I-forgot-to-put-in-the-bag-the-science-project-look. Iknow you blame me.JESSEI didn't say anything.CELINENo. You didn't say anything. Youdidn't have to. Yeah, yeah, it'salways my fault. JESSEYeah right.Celine walks across the room, sits on the couch, and turnson her phone again.CELINEI read on the fridge at work - youknow those magnet words that peoplemake sentences with? Someone hadput together, "Women explore foreternity in the vast garden ofsacrifice." JESSE(Laughs)Wow! That's a sure sign from God!CELINEYeah. That line is so damn true andit's been for ten thousand years. But that's enough! Okay. I don'twant to be one of these women. Likemarriage is important to gays orcontraception to women rights - it'sthe same with giving up my hopes,with the millions of women that havehad to give up their hopes. I amnot going to do it. This is biggerthan me. This means more than me. Jesse bursts into applause.91.JESSEWow! Bravo! The Nobel committee istaking note. I'm just - hold on asecond, I'm gonna alert Sweden, okay? I mean, it must be a full-time jobcarrying that much feminineoppression. CELINEIt is.JESSEYou suffered so much growing up inmiddle-class Paris! I mean, theagony in the trenches of the Sorbonnein the post-feminist era. I can'timagine. CELINE You're an asshole. You know whatsweetie, when are we moving toChicago? I want to make sure we areable to find a nice house and I cansew the drapes and pick matching bedcovers. JESSESo this is how you now want to bespending this evening? I mean, thisis what you wanna do tonight?CELINEWell, you started it.JESSENo. You are the one who will notshut up about it. But if you wantto talk about it, I mean, reallytalk about it. I would prefer tohave an unemotional, rationalconversation. I mean, do you thinkwe can do that? Would that bepossible? CELINEHere we go. Unemotional, rational. You always play the part of the oneand only rational one and I'm theirrational, hysterical, hormone-crazyone because I have emotions. Yeah,you sit back and you speak from yourbig perspective which means everythingyou say is level-headed and true.92.JESSEI don't always do anything.CELINEThe world is fucked by unemotionalrational men deciding shit, alright? Politicians going to war for noreason, corporate heads deciding towreck the environment, Cheney,Rumsfeld - very rational men. JESSECheney and Rumsfeld? Yeah, okay.CELINEThe final solution? Very rationalthinking behind it. JESSE(Laughs)Oh, okay, so we're there now? Usversus the final solution? Okay! Let's do it, alright? Let me askyou this, alright? Do you thinkHenry's life would be helped by amore consistent presence by you andme? CELINEHere we go...Jesse gets up from the bed, puts his pants back on, and joinsCeline on the couch.JESSENo. You won't drop it, so let'stalk about it. Alright? Let mejust ask you one question. Do youthink Hank's life would be betterserved by a more consistent presencefrom you and me? CELINEYes! I think it'd be better if helived with us...JESSEOkay.CELINE... And I think his mom is a fuckingalcoholic, hateful cunt that usedthe time that we were in Paris and Iwas giving birth and almost dying to (MORE)93.CELINE (CONT'D)legally move Henry out of New York. Fuck her.JESSEOkay. I agree with you. Unfortunately, we cannot go get himout of America but we could, if wewanted to, go to him. Now, I knowit would be a big move, but what doyou think? I mean, is there any wayyou could be happy in the U.S.? Isthat just out of the realm ofpossibility? That you could find acomparable job there? CELINEComparable job? Are you kidding?JESSENo.CELINEWhy am I the one that always has tomake the compromises?JESSEOh, Jesus Christ. Don't be sodramatic, okay?CELINEWell, moving to Chicago is prettyfucking dramatic to me.JESSEI'm not saying we should move. Ijust want to talk about it. Can yoube my friend for like two seconds sowe can talk?CELINEOkay, two seconds.JESSE Alright. Do you remember that timethat you were like 35 minutes lateto pick the girls up from school andyou were so stressed out because youknew they were out there in theplayground wondering what the hellhad happened to you. Okay, that isthe way I feel all the time, youknow like I fucked up. I mean, Ileft him behind and I just wanna goget him. 94.CELINEYou always get like this when youdrop him off. You're sad, so youstart a fight. He's fine. He's agreat kid. Okay? But the truth is,he doesn't need you the way he usedto. You missed the opportunity tobe with him everyday of his childhood,you just did. And you can cry aboutit but he's growing up. You're agreat father in other ways. You gotdivorced, like millions of otherpeople. Was it ideal? No. Listen,if in one month, you still want meto quit my job and give up everythingI have ben working towards all theseyears, just ask me. But right now Ifeel the same way I always have. Iwould move back to the US if thatdiseased ex-wife of yours would giveus joint custody. But every otherweekend amounts to shit Jesse, that'sless than thirty days a semester andI don't think it's worth it for usto change our entire lives over thatkind of time. JESSE I know, you're right.CELINERight, right? See? I'm being therational one.JESSE Oh, it's just such a shitty position,you know? I mean Hank didn't doanything but he's the one gettingkicked in the teeth. CELINEWe all get dragged through ourparents' lives. If it wasn't me,your marriage would have ended oversomething else and you know that. JESSE Absolutely. CELINEOr even worse, he would have beenraised by two miserable parents. 95.JESSE I know. I just really fucked thatup. CELINEYou mean you fucked up by moving toParis to be with me? JESSE No. That's not what I meant...CELINEI knew that was going to cost toomuch.JESSE That's not what I meant at all!CELINEI told you not to do it. JESSE Stop it.CELINEI moved to New York with you for twoyears and gave up everything, but Ineeded to be home to give birth tothe twins because it was a complicatedbirth and I wanted to be with mymother. And you wanted it too! JESSE Yes. Okay.CELINEOkay. That's the one thing I askedfrom you, the one thing. And nowyou're going to blame me forever. JESSE Stop it will you? Stop it. If youdon't want to move back to the Stateswe won't. End of story. I'm justtrying to find a way where I can bemore of a consistent presence in hislife, and ideally I'd like to dothat as a family. CELINE'As a family?' Or what?JESSE What the fuck does that mean?96.CELINEI feel a passive aggressive threatin everything you say. Either dothis, or I will resent you for therest of our lives. Silence.CELINE (CONT'D)No? Am I Right? You know what? I'm sensing something... I think theproblem is that you don't want me tohave a more substantial job. Onsome level, you feel threatened bymy achieving anything that coulddiminish your status in ourrelationship. JESSE My status in our relationship? Iteach two courses a semester at thefucking American school. Ok wow,that's really some status. CELINENow I don't think it's any coincidencethat you feel that way at the sametime that I have a truly excitingjob opportunity. JESSE This whole train of thought iscomplete horse shit and you know it. CELINEI have a question for you. If wedidn't have the girls, all our crap. Would we even still be together? JESSE What? I mean you are the fuckingmayor of crazy town, do you knowthat? You are. CELINEYou know what I think? I think youneed to move to Chicago. I thinkHenry needs you and I think I needto stay in Paris with the girls andtake this job. JESSE Why are you doing this, huh? Thatis a ridiculous idea. (MORE)97.JESSE (CONT'D)Like I'm gonna lose you and the girls? No. Why do you make everything sodifficult? CELINEJesse, you're unhappy with me. You'reblaming me for taking you away fromyour son.JESSE That is a completely irrationalresponse to something I am just tryingto feel my way through.CELINEListen, Jesse. We've just spent thelast six weeks here and it's beengreat. You've been able to writeeveryday and the weather's been nice. But I didn't want to come to Greeceoriginally. JESSE I know.CELINEAll right? There could be arevolution any second...JESSE Don't.CELINEPeople eat a lot of feta and oliveoil, they act all happy but theyactually talk about how "angry" theyare... and it confuses me and I don'tknow what's going to happen in thenext few weeks.JESSE Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let me tell youwhat's going to happen alright. Thesame thing that always happens:Nothing. CELINEAlright. You know what? I have hadabsolutely zero time for myself, Ihave ten thousand emails I have toanswer that I didn't answer...JESSE And you think I don't?98.CELINEI spend all day making dinner, wipingboth you and your son's pee off thetoilet seat, while you talk to yourfellow novelists. Blah, blah, blah,you're a genius, blah, blah, blah,no, you're a genius. And the secondwe say goodbye to Henry, you suggestthat maybe I should give up my dreamjob because you feel bad. JESSE Oh. Okay, now it's your dream job?! This afternoon you weren't even sureyou wanted it but now it's your dreamjob. Do you ever listen to yourself? CELINEYes it is my dream job! Just becauseI have doubts doesn't mean I don'twant it. JESSE Okay.CELINEAll right? But what do you care? Every day you go on your two hour"contemplative" walk under the olivetrees. Socrates... you should get arobe. JESSE It's an hour.CELINENo, by the time you leave, and bythe time you're actually with usagain, two hours. You know, I couldnever do that. You're very good attaking care of yourself. I takecare of myself, AND everything else. We're going somewhere, you pack yourbag, I pack EVERYTHING else. JESSE You would never let me pack the girls'shit. Never!CELINEBecause there would be no shoes andplenty of dirty underwear. JESSE So says you. 99.CELINEI'm happy you have time to contemplatethe universe and have existentialproblems because I don't - I barelyhave time to think. I work, I baby-sit, I work, I baby-sit. Jesse wanders off into the bathroom to take a pee.JESSE Could you hold on a second? I justhave to tune up the string section...CELINEYou know what? The only time I getto think now, is when I take a shitat the office. I'm starting toassociate thoughts with the smell ofshit. JESSE Well, that is a good line - I wantto use that in a book someday.CELINEI'm sure you will - and that'll bethe best line in the book. She walks over and talks to him directly while he's in thebathroom.CELINE (CONT'D)And by the way, you may never, EVER,use me or anything I say or do inone of your fucking books again! And that goes for the girls, too. Jesse comes back out.JESSE Well, A) You shouldn't have hookedup with a writer. B) You weren'tin the last book or the one I'mwriting now. C) I'm gonna writeabout whatever the fuck I want. CELINEAs always, OUR life works for YOU.JESSE No, no, no. Don't give me this putupon housewife bullshit. Okay thisis not the 50's. (MORE)100.JESSE (CONT'D)I'm sorry to ruin your perfect littlenarrative of oppression with thetruth but I am the one who's at homeeveryday dealing with the bullshitcause you're at work until 6:30. CELINE6 o'clock.JESSE You take the girls to school, and Ipick them up. That's fair, that'sour deal. We live in Paris, Francefor chrissakes.CELINEYeah, and you remind me of it everysingle day.JESSE I have orbited my entire life aroundyou and you know it. So I am sorryif this Summer's vacation - and itis a vacation - because all I'veseen you do is frolic in the sea andshove greek salad down your throat. Ok, but it is not indicative of youspending your life in some kind ofdomestic servitude. CELINEYou know what I love about men? They still believe in magic. Littlefairies around who pick up theirsocks, little fairies unload thedishwasher, little fairies sunscreenthe kids. Little fairies who makethe fucking Greek salads that youeat like a pig. JESSE Okay, listen to me, all right? Youare great at taking care of us. Youare. I mean you take care of thekids, you take care of your friends,you take care of the world. Alright? And you were like that before youwere a mom and now its only magnified. But, and I've been telling you thisfor years - you gotta do a littlebit better job taking care ofyourself. Ok, you do.101.CELINEOkay, stop patronizing me, all right? I'm the one at home every night at6.00, not 6.30. I am reliable. Have you ever booked a baby sitter,ever, in your entire life? NO. What is the name of theirpediatrician? JESSE Stop quizzing me, all right? It'sreally fucking boring.CELINEYeah, okay. You know what? I'm athome every night and I make dinner,I give baths, and I read bedtimestories. Sometimes you're there,sometimes you're at a universityevent or a publicity tour. Ok? When you get "inspired" you keep onwriting. I get inspired toosometimes, you know that? JESSE You want to write? Great. Write.CELINENo, but you remember I used to singand play guitar and write songs? I'd still like to do it. But I don'tget to - there isn't time. JESSE Okay. Well, first off, my writingisn't a hobby. Secondly, I wish youwould find the time. You somehowmanage to find the time to complainabout 8 hours a day. I mean, I lovethe way you sing. Okay? I fuckedup my whole life 'cause of the wayyou sing. Alright? If you took oneeighth of the energy that you spendon bitching, whining and worrying... If you put that energy into playingscales, I mean you would be likefucking Django Reinhardt. Celine exits...JESSE (CONT'D)Okay. All right. Whoops. You forgotyour shoes.(sighs)Goddamn. Hell.102.And quickly re-enters.CELINEYou think you're winning?!(almost losing hertemper)Very few people realize what it islike for an active or passionatewoman to have a child. Some friendstold me, "you'll see, you'll want tothrow them out the window." Okay,but the truth is I never wanted tohurt them once but I thought aboutending it all for myself a hundredtimes. I was so confused, and youwere always away on a stupid booktour or because of Henry's custodyshit and I didn't want to be a burden. Now I know why Sylvia Plath put herhead in a toaster. JESSEIt was an oven. CELINE(losing it)Don't play with words. You knowwhat I mean - toaster, oven. Samething. You know how many times Iwas alone with the girls crying withno clue what to do? Do you know theguilt a mother feels when she doesn'tknow what to do? JESSEDo you think you have sole ownershipof that feeling?CELINEI don't think you understand, okay?(a beat)You know what my secret fear is? With every man? Is that they allwant to turn me into a submissivehousewife. JESSEOkay, no one could EVER do that, allright? I promise, it would be easierto fit your head into a toaster thanto turn you into anything submissive. The whole conversation has taken on a calmer tone.103.CELINEI don't think I've recovered sincegiving birth. When they were born,I had no idea what to do. Peopleexpect women to have instinct thatkicks in, like a female baboon. ButI had no idea how to do anything. Iloved them so much, and I was doingeverything wrong. And you were awayso often, calling me, asking me howmy day went, and I couldn't even sayit to you because I felt so ashamedfor being so clueless. JESSELook, I think you did great.CELINENo, I didn't.JESSENo, you did. Well, you did a goodjob faking it, then. CELINEI remember the only way I could getthem to sleep was to drag that stupiddouble stroller down the stairs andwalk them for hours and hours in themiddle of the night, all the way toPigalle and back. I almost got muggedonce... I mean, the only reason whythe guy didn't attack me was is thatI looked so pathetic. The only upsideof being over 35 is that you don'tget raped as much. I read it - itstrue. Jesse laughs. The tone shifts.JESSEOh, Jesus.(he takes her hand)Once I remember I was watching thetwins on a trampoline, you know, andthey looked so beautiful. And I washappy because they were happy, youknow. One of them had this hula-hoop that she was using as a jumprope, but then the other one wantedit so they started fighting over it. All of a sudden I saw it all, thispetty jealously and selfishness... Iremember thinking: this is the natural (MORE)104.JESSE (CONT'D)human state - always a littledissatisfied, perpetuallydiscontented, you know? I mean,look at us, here we are, in a gardenof Eden and we can't stop fighting. CELINEI don't think there is one naturalhuman state. The human state ismultiple. If that's what you seewhen you're watching the girls play,that means you're depressed. JESSEOkay. Maybe I am.Celine is slowly getting revved up again.CELINEWhen I see them fight, I see beautifulenergy of going forward in life andnot letting anyone step on them ortake away what they want. I like itwhen they fight - it gives me hopefor them. JESSEWell that's because you see anger asa positive emotion, you know, andyou only end up hurting yourself,your work, your kids, me.CELINEAnd you never get angry?JESSEWhen I do, I don't see it as apositive.CELINEYou know something? The way youwrite in your book, people come upto me and think I make love to somewildcat Henry Miller type... HA! You like to have sex the EXACT sameway every time. JESSEWhen you got it, you got it. CELINEKissy, kissy. Titty, titty. PUSSY. (snoring)105.JESSEI'm a man of simple pleasures.CELINEYeah, very simple, and I've beenmeaning to tell you that lately. You're no Henry Miller, on any level. You know what, this room gives methe creeps, I was expecting somethingquaint, like the real Greece. JESSEThis place is pretty real.CELINEWhat the hell are we doing hereanyway? This is all too planned,like we're supposed to have thisgreat evening. There's no room forspontaneity, it is all gone from ourlives. It's stupid and it's notworking... JESSEOkay. Well, obviously, right?CELINERight, yeah ... and I curse Ariadniand that perv Stefanos for doingthis. A couples massage - what thefuck is that? That sounds sleazy tome. JESSEWe don't have to do it! Okay? C'mon,this place isn't so bad. I likehotel rooms... I think they're sexy.CELINEYeah, I know you do, Mr. Book Tour. Mr. Radisson Hilton. And I knowthat time when you were doing thatreading in Washington, when yourcell phone supposedly broke thatnight - how convenient. Swear onour kids that you didn't fuck thatlady from the bookstore. Emily. Swear to me you didn't fuck thatEmily girl. And I'm not jealousbecause I'm not the jealous type butI just wanna know, be a man and admitthe truth. 106.JESSEI am giving you my whole life, okay? I've got nothing larger to give. I'm not giving it to anybody else. If you're looking for permission todisqualify me, I'm not going to giveit to you. I love you and I'm NOTin conflict about it. But if whatyou want is a laundry list of allthe things about you that piss meoff, I could give it to you. CELINEYeah - I want to hear.JESSE Okay! Well, uh, let's start at numberone - okay, number one, you're fuckin'nuts, alright? You are, good luckfinding somebody else to put withyour shit for more than like 6 months. But I accept the whole package, thecrazy and the brilliant. I knowyou're not going to change, and Idon't want you to. It's calledaccepting you for being you. CELINEYeah okay, I asked you a question. If, while I was carrying the doublestroller down the stairs and gettingass-raped in Pigalle, you fuckedthat little Emily Bronte girl? JESSE Ok I don't know. Emily... what Emily? What are you even talking about?CELINEThe one who wrote the nice emailsabout Dostoevsky? "Oh Jesse, you'reso right, "The Grand Commander" isthe deepest passage of all Russianliterature." JESSE If you're asking me if I'm committedto you, the girls, and the life we'vebuilt together, the answer is aresounding YES. CELINESo you DID fuck her! Thank you verymuch.107.JESSE Do I ever ask you about the time youwent to go visit your old boyfriendafter his mother died? No. Youwant to know why? Because I KNOWthe way that your fucking French assworks, and I guarantee that you atleast blew that guy, but I also knowthat you love me, okay? I'm okaywith you being a complicated humanbeing! I don't wanna live a boringlife where two people own each other,where two people are institutionalizedin a box that others created - becausethat is a bunch of stifling bullshit. Petrified, she exits.Jesse sits alone waiting for her to return.Enter Celine. She walks in, sets her room key down.CELINEYou know what's going on here? It'ssimple - I don't think I love youanymore. She exits. Jesse sits there, gazing from the cold cup oftea, to the door, to the full glasses of wine, to the rumpled,empty bed. Celine doesn't come back.EXT. OUTDOOR CAFE/BAR - NIGHTJesse finds Celine sitting near the same table where theysaw the sunset earlier. JESSEMiss?CELINEI don't want to talk right now.JESSEAre you by yourself? Are you waitingfor somebody?CELINEYeah, I'm by myself and happy to be. I'm an angry person and I hurt mykids, my work, and everyone I love.JESSEOh. Well, just my type.Jesse sits down right across from her.108.CELINEOkay, I'm not in the mood - I camehere to be alone.JESSEYeah, listen. I've just been checkingyou out from across the cafe and Idon't want to make you uncomfortable,but you're by far the best lookingwoman in this place. CELINEThank you very much.JESSEI'd love to buy you a drink, maybetalk to you, get to know you a littlebit... you know. Are you here onbusiness?Nothing.JESSE (CONT'D)Ok.. You have a boyfriend?CELINENot anymore. JESSESorry to hear that. God, you wantto talk about it?CELINEI don't talk to strangers.JESSEBut that's the thing, I'm not astranger. No, we've met before...summer '94. CELINEYou are mistaking me for someoneelse.JESSENo, we even fell in love.CELINEReally? I vaguely remember someonesweet and romantic, who made me feelI wasn't alone anymore. Someone whohad respect for who I was. JESSE That's me. I'm that guy. 109.CELINEI don't think so.JESSE Well, see, I know something abouttonight that you don't know.CELINEReally. What is that?JESSE Something important. See, I knowbecause I've actually already livedthrough this night. CELINEHow?JESSE I'm a time traveler.CELINEOkay.JESSE I have a time machine up in my room. I've come to save you just like Isaid I would. CELINESave me from what? JESSE Save you from being blinded by allthe little bullshit of life.CELINEIt's not bullshit.JESSE I assure you, that guy you vaguelyremember, the sweet romantic one whoyou met on a train? That is me. CELINEThat's you? JESSE Yeah. CELINEGuess I didn't recognize you... youlook like shit.110.JESSE What can I say? I mean, it's toughout there in time and space. You,on the other hand are even morebeautiful than I remember. CELINEBullshit! Jesse, this is not a game. You get all cute, you get in mypanties and the next thing I know,I'm buying peanut butter in Chicago. You're not going to make it betterby some little pick up line. JESSE I'm not trying to pick you up - no,no, you misunderstood me. I'm onlyhere as a messenger. I've justtraveled all the way from the future. I was just with your 82 year oldself who gave me a letter to read toyou. So here I am. CELINEI'm still alive in my 80's?JESSE OOOHHHH YEAH.CELINEHow's my French ass?JESSE Nice. Really nice. CELINEI don't care about the way I look.JESSE Let's just say, there's even more ofyou to love. Okay, do you want meto read the letter to you? CELINEDo I have a choice? JESSE Oh sure, I mean, if you're notinterested in what you have to say...CELINENo, no, no. Read it. 111.JESSE Okay, here I go. Dear Celine, I'mwriting to you from the other sideof the woods. This letter is lightinga candle... CELINEOkay stop it. I would never writethis - it's too flowery, "Other sideof the woods," what fucking woods? What're you talking about?JESSE May I please continue?CELINEOkay.JESSE I am sending you this young man. Yes, young - and he will be yourescort. God knows, he has manyproblems and has struggled his wholelife connecting and being presenteven with those he loves the most. And for that he is deeply sorry -but you are his only hope. Celine,my advice to you is this: you areentering the best years of your life. Looking back from where I sit nowthese middle years are only a littlebit more difficult then when youwere 12 and Mathieu and Vanessa dancedall night to the Bee Gee's "How deepis your love." Celine, you will befine. Your girls will grow up tobecome examples and icons of feminism. CELINENice one.JESSE Yeah, well, you know what I justnoticed, there's a Post Script atthe bottom, looks kind of important. Maybe I should just skip over therest of this boring stuff and get tothat? CELINEYeah, skip away. Please, skip away. JESSE Okay. You sure?112.CELINEYeah.JESSE Okay, all right, well.CELINEThe boring stuff.Jesse scoots his chair closer to her.JESSE Yeah. Okay. (looks around, lowershis voice)Yeah, it's like financial tips,horoscopes, boring stuff. Okay, hereit is... P.S. By the way, the bestsex of my life happened one night inthe Southern Peloponnese. Don'tmiss it. My whole sexual being wentto a new, ground-breaking level. CELINEGround-breaking. Great.JESSE Yeah, I don't know what that means.CELINEOkay, Jesse, can you stop this stupidgame? We're not in one of yourstories. Okay? Did you hear what Isaid to you back in the room? Didyou hear me?JESSE Yes, I heard you - that you don'tlove me anymore. I figured you didn'tmean it but if you did, then fuckit. You know something? You'rejust like the little girls andeverybody else - you want to live insome fairy tale. I'm just trying tomake things better here. I tell youI love you unconditionally, I tellyou that you're beautiful, I tellyou that your ass looks great whenyou're 80. I'm trying to make youlaugh. I put up with plenty of yourshit, and if you think I'm just somedog who's gonna keep coming backthen, you're wrong. But if you wanttrue love - this is it. (MORE)113.JESSE (CONT'D)This is real life. It's not perfect,but it's real. And if you can't seeit, then you're blind, alright? Igive up. Jesse crumples up the napkin/letter he was reading from andtosses it on the table. What follows is a lengthy silentsequence where they just sort of stare at each other,seemingly going through everything past and present. CELINESo what about this time machine? JESSE What do you mean?CELINEHow does it work?JESSEWell... it's complicated.CELINEAm I going to have to get naked tooperate it? Jesse's mood shifts, and the camera starts to slowly pullaway from them as they continue talking.JESSEYeah, actually. Yeah, it's been areal issue, you know, clothes don'ttravel well through the whole space-time continuum. CELINE(bimbo voice)Wow. You're so smart.JESSEOh, Jesus.CELINESpace-time...?JESSEContinuum.CELINE'Continuum.'JESSEYeah.114.CELINEWow.JESSEYou know, there's something I havebeen thinking about, about yourletter. You mention something aboutthe southern Peloponesse? We're inthe southern Peloponesse. CELINEYeah?JESSEDo you think it could be tonightthat you're still talking about inyour 80s? CELINEWell, it must have been one hell ofa night we're about to have.The camera has now pulled far away and the conversation hasbecome inaudible. We leave them as just another couplesitting and talking at a table on a beautiful night on thecoast of Greece. FADE OUT | screenplays |
For those of us working on the Alma 14 wiki project, what are some of your thoughts or insights as you work through this chapter?
February 16th is one of my favorite days, the anniversary of "The Vision" of the three degrees of glory given to Joseph Smith and Sidney Rigdon now recorded in Doctrine & Covenants 76.
As the discussion leader for this chapter, I suppose I should stand ignorantly at the door, pushing you through to enter and explore with no escape from exercising your liberty, all the while asking each of you what do you see? What do you think about it? What do you make of it? | slim_pajama |
Julio Fernández may refer to:
Júlio Foca Fernandez Brazilian jiu-jitsu champion and instructor
Julio Ángel Fernández born 1946, Uruguayan astronomer who hypothesised the existence of what became known as the Kuiper belt
Julio M. Fernandez born 1954, Chilean Professor in the Department of Biological Sciences at Columbia University, New York, USA
Julio Fernández musician born 1954, guitarist of jazz fusion/smooth jazz group Spyro Gyra
Julio Fernández film producer, co-founder of the Fantastic Factory film studio | wikipedia |
Sailor Moon 1. Chapter 1: Battles Galore
Title: Five-Alarm Fire - Chapter 1
Author: Viper Inferno
Genre: Action Drama
Rated: PG
Author's Note: I recommend reading "Brother of Fire" first since this story takes place after it, otherwise you might be a little lost in the beginning.
* * *
**Five-Alarm Fire**
_By Viper Inferno_
Chapter 1
"Dark Kingdom? What are you talking about?" a soldier pleaded, backing away from a man in a maroon tuxedo, maroon top-hat, and maroon cape with purple inner liner. The soldier himself was dressed in a full suit of black armor, covering every inch of the soldier that donned it. In his right hand, the soldier held a seemingly normal-looking broadsword.
"Inferno Fire Beam!" Tuxedo Inferno chanted aloud, waving his arms in kung fu fashion. He then aimed his open palms at the pleading soldier and fired an intense beam of fire. The beam struck its mark, drilling the soldier in the chest and knocking him flat on his back? With the soldier lying on the ground, seriously weakened from the fire beam and an earlier onslaught of fire-based attacks, Tuxedo Inferno slowly marched up to the weakened soldier and drew his flame sword from his obsidian jewel ring.
"Who are you?" the soldier cried.
"I am Tuxedo Inferno, warrior of fire and protector of good. In the name of the planet Mars, I will burn you," he replied. With that answer, he raised his flame sword high above his head as fire began to collect into his sword seemingly out of thin air, setting the blade ablaze, "Flame Sword, Strike!"
With all his might, Tuxedo Inferno struck the fallen soldier with his fiery blade, setting the soldier instantly and completely ablaze. Within seconds, the fire abruptly burned itself out, leaving only a pile of ashes to blow away in the wind. With the enemy soldier effectively dispatched, Tuxedo Inferno magically sheathed his sword inside his obsidian jewel ring. He then turned and began to walk out of the battle field and down the streets of western Tokyo.
"He wasn't lying," Tuxedo Inferno said to himself, thinking about why the soldier was pleading the way he was when Tuxedo Inferno had painted him as being of the Dark Kingdom. "He didn't look like somebody from the Dark Kingdom. Even so, somebody from the Dark Kingdom must've sent him."
On top of a nearby building, overlooking the battlefield, Jadeite witnessed the entire battle first hand, observing Tuxedo Inferno's battle with the soldier in black. He not only watched the battle, but with a parabolic microphone, he also listened to it as if he were in the middle of the battle. He seethed as Tuxedo Inferno struck the soldier down with his fiery sword. "Damn, he knows we're behind this," he said to himself as he turned away from the battlefield.
Inside the Dark Kingdom, Queen Beryl was also witnessing the battle through an image projected into thin air by her crystal ball. "The Mars Prince is tougher than we thought," Queen Beryl said to herself, trying to keep herself calm, "Jadeite's gonna pay for his stupidity, sending a soldier who knew nothing of his enemy."
After walking some distance from the battlefield, and getting quite a bit of attention from various admirers, Tuxedo Inferno had to get out of his alter ego and fast so he could continue on with his life. Finding an alleyway to hide in, Tuxedo Inferno turned the corner and hid next to a dumpster, out of sight from any onlookers. He focused on his obsidian jewel ring and closed his eyes, and in an instant, magical fire enveloped his body. Within seconds, the flames extinguished, revealing Hino Kyodai, Tuxedo Inferno's civilian form.
After transforming back, Kyodai sat against the wall next to the dumpster, with thoughts of the battle flowing through his mind. 'That soldier was different than the others I have fought in the last couple months,' Kyodai thought to himself, 'It's like somebody from the Dark Kingdom had just walked up to him and recruited him on the spot, gave him a sword, some powers, then gave him a target and sent him into battle. It's as if he was some kind of scout, allowing for someone else to watch and see how I'd fight him.'
Having concluded the circumstances surrounding the battle, Kyodai rose to his feet and made his way out of the alley and back into the real world, where the people casually walked the streets. After a short jaunt down the sidewalk, mingling with a few pedestrians in the process, Kyodai spotted his old coupe, a dark red 1979 Datsun Silvia hatchback, powered by a stock 1.8L turbocharged 4-cylinder. It wasn't in the best of condition, with the paint having lost its luster over the years, but it was a very reliable and a fairly sporty little coupe, and was easily able to pass Japan's mandatory inspections, something that gets expensive for older cars. The only modifications Kyodai had done to his car since he had gotten his license in the middle of Grade 12 was some dark window tinting and a pair of fog lights.
It was a hassle to get this old car for a reasonable price, but for Kyodai, it was well worth the effort as he was easily able to commute all around Tokyo. It also made it possible for him to move back to and live at the Hikawa Jinja, register a parking space there, and commute to the Azabu Institute of Technology. So Kyodai slipped his key into the door lock, opened it, and climbed inside. The inside of the car was actually in pretty good shape, with vinyl seats slightly worn but not torn in any places. The dash was in good condition, although it could've used a little shine, and the manual shifter shifted almost like it was brand new. Once seated in his car, Kyodai took a glance at his watch, which read 11:12 am.
"Damn, I gotta go pick Minako up," he swore to himself, remembering the arrangements he had with Minako the day before. He was to meet up with her so that they could spend their day off from school together. Kyodai didn't have soccer practice today, and Minako didn't have any major tests coming up, so all they had to worry about on this fine Saturday was their time together. However, the battle with this Dark Kingdom soldier had taken up a lot of Kyodai's time, giving him very little time to drive to Minako's house to pick her up. So he hurriedly slid the key into the ignition and started the engine of his old coupe. Without second thought, he shifted the car into first and punched the gas, making his car's rear tires sing a shrieking soprano as it sped off into the streets of Tokyo.
_Minako's House..._
After speeding through the streets of Tokyo, briskly yet cautiously passing cars along the way, Kyodai finally made it to Minako's house and pulled into an empty spot in front of her house. Afraid he was late, he checked his watch, reading 11:27am, and breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God I made it. And thank God the police didn't catch me speeding," he said to himself as he shut his engine off and stepped out of his car. He quickly brushed off his shirt, recomposed himself, and casually walked up the pathway to Minako's front door. Once there, he took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.
Moments later, the door open and Minako's beautiful blonde-
haired, blue-eyed face peeked through the opening. Seeing who it was that had rang her doorbell, excitement overcame her as she swung the door open and threw herself, arms wide open, at Kyodai.
"Hi Kyodai-kun," she gleefully said as she threw her arms around him, "I'm so glad you made it."
"I'm glad to see you too," Kyodai replied as he casually returned her embrace. 'She's always so open with her feelings,' Kyodai thought to himself as Minako's arms affectionately wrapped tighter around his waist and her body pressed tighter against his, 'And she certainly likes to be held. Then again, I haven't known very many girls who weren't this affectionate.'
Moments later, Minako pushed herself off of Kyodai, with her arms still wrapped around his waist, and gazed into his dark purple eyes. "So," Minako said as she took one hand and began to gently caress his perfectly-shaved face, "where're we going?"
Kyodai only grinned, "You'll see."
"Oh, I love surprises," she replied, letting go of Kyodai and jumping up and down excitedly.
With Minako off of him, Kyodai began examining his beautiful girlfriend. The most striking feature that always grabbed his attention was the cute red bow in her hair, holding her ponytail in place. She was wearing a pale blue t-shirt under a dark blue jumper, with the skirt cut at just above her knees. With it, she wore white socks halfway up her shins. However, she had no shoes on, having no chance to slide into any before throwing herself at Kyodai. "You look great, Minako-chan," he complimented.
"Why thank you, Kyodai-kun," Minako replied as she gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek and turned back toward her front door. "I'll be out in a minute," she said as she went back inside.
Kyodai didn't have to wait very long before Minako had emerged from her front door, with a small purse and wearing black mary janes. "Ready, Kyodai-kun?" she said rhetorically, wrapping her free arm around his as they walked toward his old coupe. Once there, Kyodai slid the key into the lock of his passenger-side door before opening it for Minako.
"You're such a gentleman Kyodai-kun," she said, smiling at him as she climbed inside.
"Thanks," he replied as he closed the door and walks around to the driver's side to get inside. Once inside, he took one glance into Minako's beautiful blue eyes and smiled at her, taking note of the beautiful girl sitting in the passenger seat of his pride and joy. He then started the car and drove off, albeit much more gently than his earlier trek to her house. He had a lady in his car, so there was no need for him to unleash his old coupe's sportier nature.
_Juuban Park..._
Once arriving at the park, Minako's face lit up with joy, "Oh my god, I love the park. Thank you, thank you, Kyodai-kun." Once Kyodai had parked his car, Minako unbuckled her seatbelt and let herself out of the car. As Kyodai opened the door to get out, Minako was already running into a grassy field in front of the lake. Once Kyodai shut the door, he gazed out toward the large blue lake, with flecks of gold flickering about it as the sun kissed its surface.
However, his attention once again turned to Minako, who had her arms outspread and was spinning gleefully like a figure skater, her blonde hair swaying elegantly in the wind as she spun. Kyodai only smiled at her athletic yet graceful display of sheer excitement and began walking toward her. But that beautiful display was short-lived as Minako ran up toward him and threw herself at him, colliding with him and throwing her arms around him, "Oh, Kyodai-kun. It feels so good being here, especially with you."
However, the embrace was also short-lived. Minako let Kyodai go, took a hold of his wrist, and led him further into the park and toward the glistening lake. Kyodai tried to follow casually, but Minako was walking much faster to the point that she was tugging at his wrist, seemingly in a hurry. "C'mon, Kyodai-kun, let's go to the lake," Minako urged. Giving up on dragging him, she let go of his wrist and ran toward the lake, chasing down a poor white duck in the process as it ran, flapping its wings and quacking in panic.
'Silly girl,' Kyodai thought to himself, chuckling yet trying to hold back a laugh. Although he knew she wasn't always like this, her excitement and her giddy schoolgirl act did bring a smile to his face, and only helped her to admire her carefree personality. He did sense a more serious side to her, one that wasn't so carefree but was more focused, and one who has seen some ups and downs in life and learned to live with it. However, in the week that he has dated her thus far, he's had yet to see the more serious side of her. It didn't make him like her any less, though. It did, however, make him want to see more from this beautiful young lady. He could only watch as Minako ran all the way to the edge of the lake.
"Minako-chan, we've got all afternoon," he called out, getting her attention, as he continued walking toward her at the lakeside, "You don't have to run. Besides, my surprise isn't 'til tonight."
"Really?" she said anxiously, "Oh I can't wait."
Once Kyodai had finally joined Minako's side, they sat down near the edge of the lake and watched as the ducks and swans swam effortlessly by them. Kyodai reached into the pocket of his slacks, and into a bag he had gotten out of his car, and pulled out a handful of grain. He gave a little bit to Minako, letting it pour gently into her cupped hand, and tossed the rest out toward the ducks. They watched as a dozen ducks swam frantically toward the floating bits of grain, gobbling up individual pieces in a heartbeat as they passed them by. Once nearly gone, Minako tossed her small amount toward the flock, watching as the ducks turned on a dime and toward the newly arrived bits of food.
She then glanced up toward Kyodai, who only smiled at the sight of the ducks flocking so frantically toward the food like they hadn't eaten in days. It drew a smile from her in response, and she leaned against his side, laying her head on his shoulder. Kyodai wrapped his arm around her shoulder in response and snuggled her closer to him. And there, the couple gazed toward the glistening lake as the ducks had finished competing over the last of the bits of grain. It was a much more relaxing time for the both of them, enjoying the serene beauty of the lake and taking in the warm fresh air, free from the worries of life. It was certainly a side of Minako that Kyodai enjoyed, as it was something he could share in with her so much more easily than her giddy side. At the least the girl can settle down and relax once in a while.
"Hi Kyodai-san, Hi Minako-chan," a familiar voice gleefully greeted moments later. Just as the couple was getting a little bit cozier, the voice had startled them, causing Kyodai drop his arm from Minako's shoulders and Minako to sit upright from Kyodai's shoulder. They then turned toward the origin of the somewhat cheerful, if not startling, greeting to see Usagi and Makoto walking toward them. "What're you guys doing?" Usagi asked when her eyes met theirs.
"Feeding the ducks and enjoying some time together," Kyodai replied.
"Yeah," says Minako, "He's gonna take me some place tonight."
"Really? That's great," Usagi replied. Although she had a bright smile on her face, both upon hearing the news and while watching the couple enjoy their time together, Makoto only grimly starred at them. 'So you got Kyodai, huh?' Makoto thought to herself, 'You may have won the battle, but the war is far from over.' But, she and Minako were friends, and she really didn't want Kyodai to come between them, just like what had happened when her last love had gotten between her and a very close friend of hers before she met Usagi. So she merely submitted to reason. "Enjoy your time together," she said, keeping her composure.
"We will," said Minako as Makoto and Usagi turned and continued about their business.
With Usagi and Makoto walking far enough from the couple, far enough out of earshot, Makoto turned to Usagi and whispered into her ear, "She'll get tired of him. I give them a week."
"And what then, Mako-chan?" said Usagi, "You'll nab him, right?"
"Something like that," Makoto replied, cackling. 'He will be mine someday, oh yes he will.'
Back at the lake, Kyodai and Minako watched on as more ducks swam by, gliding along the surface of the lake without so much as a ripple or a wake. Minako scooted herself closer to Kyodai and went back to leaning against him and lying her head on his shoulder. Kyodai responded by wrapping his arm back around her shoulder, holding her tightly against him, and lying his head on the top of hers. Together, they enjoyed the sight of the flocks of ducks swimming about the lake without a care in the world. But more so, they enjoyed the breathtaking beauty of the glistening lake as the sun kissed its rippling surface. Then, one particular sight grabbed the couple's attention, watching on as one duck was doing some sort of courtship dance to a potential mate. It was that sight prompted Minako to wrap her arms around Kyodai's chest, giving him an affectionate squeeze before placing a gentle kiss on his cheek.
"Beautiful day, isn't it?" said Kyodai, returning Minako's affectionate squeeze with one of his own.
"Yes," Minako replied, "I just love watching these ducks and swans. And the lake looks so beautiful. Plus, I like to both relax here and have fun here with the others. That's why I love being here at the park."
After another moment, a thought suddenly hit Minako's mind. "Hey Kyodai-kun," she said as she gently let herself up from Kyodai's shoulder, sat upright, and turned to him, " Do you wanna go to the mall?"
Kyodai looked back at her to see her smiling and swiftly batting her beautiful baby-blue eyes in an attempt to provoke a 'yes'. And how could one say no to such an inviting face like Minako's? And Kyodai was enjoying his time with this rather beautiful young girl, whose beautiful blue eyes and that cute red bow in her long blonde hair could convince any man to give in to her desires, and possibly even some of their own, however benign. "Sure," he gladly replied.
With that response, the couple rose from their spot at the edge of the lake. Minako wrapped her arm around Kyodai's, and held that hand with her other, as they began a slow and casual walk toward Kyodai's old coupe. While walking, they both looked around to see if Usagi and Makoto were anywhere to be seen. However, they had long since left that section of the park and were probably enjoying each other's company elsewhere in the park, or perhaps they had already left the park. Even with their short little interruption, it didn't take away from the wonderful yet relaxing time they were having together. And with that thought, Minako leaned her head against Kyodai's shoulder as they continued their slow journey back to Kyodai's car.
Once at his car, with Minako still wrapped around his arm, Kyodai slid his keys into the passenger-side lock and opened the door for Minako. "Such a gentleman," she commented as she let him go and climbed into the passenger seat, "Thank you, Kyodai-kun."
"Anytime, Minako-chan," he replied as he shut the door and walked around to the driver's side. He then opened his door and climbed inside, finding that Minako had already buckled her seatbelt and was ready to go to the mall.
'Minako certainly has a love for mall strollin,' he thought to himself. Once inside, Kyodai grabbed his CD case from under his seat and began browsing through it. Inside, he had a seemingly endless cache of CD's covering various genres, ranging from: Pop, Rock, Jazz, R&B, and even classic Japanese Traditional. Minako only watched, gazing toward his eyes as they browsed through each CD in the endless cache, and smiled at him.
Finally, after a few minutes of browsing through CD's, and Minako silently gazing at him with her beautiful blue eyes, Kyodai found a CD to play on their trip toward the mall. So he removed the CD from the case, started his engine, and put the CD into his portable CD player. He had to use a portable CD player with an in-car adapter since his old coupe used an aftermarket cassette player. 'Whatever car I decide to get, it'd better have a CD player,' he thought to himself as the CD began playing.
"Oh, I love this group," Minako commented, recognizing the first few notes of the song. Minako sat back in her seat and closed her eyes as the melody and lyrics of the R&B song flowed through her mind. And Kyodai put his seatbelt on, shifted his car, and left the park. After a few minutes of driving, the song changed to a mellower track, sending a warm and fuzzy feeling flowing through Minako. In response, she looked over to Kyodai, who was mostly occupied by his driving, and gently placed her hand on his shoulder. She would've taken his hand into hers, only he needed that hand for shifting gears. So she was perfectly content with his shoulder. Kyodai looked back at her and gave her a warm smile, letting her know the feeling was mutual, and went back to his driving.
Moments later, after a few more tracks had played, they arrived at the mall, and at a rather jam-packed parking lot. "Wow, there sure are a lot of people here," Minako commented, having removed her hand from Kyodai's shoulder.
"It's Saturday, of course there's going to be a lot of people," Kyodai replied as he drove around the parking lot, looking for an empty spot that didn't require him to walk a long distance to the mall. Fortunately, he discovered a car backing out not that far from the mall itself. So Kyodai stopped and waited for the car to back out and leave before sliding into that parking spot himself. Once parked, he turned his CD player off and turned the car off. Afterward, Kyodai got out of his car and walked around to Minako's door to let her out, like the true gentleman he's been for the whole week they've been going out.
"Thank you, Kyodai-kun," she said as she climbed out of the car. In her mind, Minako couldn't stress enough how much of a gentleman Kyodai was being. She absolutely adored it. And in response, she once again wrapped one arm around Kyodai's and took that hand into hers as they began their trek toward the mall.
"Hey Kyodai-kun," a voice called out moments later as the couple had made it halfway to the mall from Kyodai's car.
The couple turned toward the summons to find Yoruno Obake at his car, his driver-side door opened, waving to Kyodai, "Is that Kyodai-kun with a girl?" Seeing Kyodai with a girl surprised Obake, since Kyodai had never once accepted any proposals for dates from some of the girls back at Azabu Tech, especially while Kyodai was living there. Academics and soccer were what dominated Kyodai's time. "I never knew you had time for a girlfriend," he commented.
Kyodai merely hung his head, sweat drop hanging from his head, "Surprise, Surprise." Only two people would've teased Kyodai about how seldom he dated girls, and even more when he actually had a date, and those were: his grandfather, and his friend Obake.
"Hey Kyodai-kun, who is that guy?" Minako asked, leading Kyodai toward Obake's car, a brand-new '93 Honda Civic SiR, top-of-the-line sport hatchback, which Kyodai had concluded long ago as obviously a gift from his father who was a surgeon at one of Tokyo's finest hospitals.
"Obake-kun, this is my girlfriend, Aino Minako," said Kyodai, letting go of Minako and properly introducing her to his friend, "Minako-chan, this is my friend, Yoruno Obake. We're co-starters on the soccer team."
"Pleased to meet you, Yoruno-san" said Minako, bowing politely. Afterward, she immediately noticed his appearance. 'Wow, he's not a bad looking guy at all. But, he's not as cute as my Kyodai-kun. Are all of the Azabu Institute of Technology's soccer players this hot?' she thought to herself.
"Thank you, Aino-san. I'm pleased to meet any friend of Kyodai's," Obake replied, noting the bow in Minako's hair as she bowed to him, then her attractive physique as she stood again. 'Wow, he has himself a real beauty,' he commented to himself. "But yes, Kyodai and I are both starters in the upcoming season opener," Obake explained, "He may be a year behind me, but Kyodai here's a great soccer player."
"And Obake here is one of the quickest forwards on the team," Kyodai added, "So of course he's going to be a starter."
"I don't know, Kyodai-kun," Obake rebutted, "I think you might actually qualify as one of the better players on the team, for a first- year nonetheless."
"So what are you doing here, Obake-kun?" Kyodai asked, changing the subject of who can give the better compliment.
"Oh, I'm going to the department store," Obake replied, "You two wanna come along?"
"No, thank you," Kyodai politely declined, "I'm just here spending some time with Minako. I promised her I'd spend the day with her."
"It's okay, I understand," said Obake as he shut his car door, turned his car alarm on, and began walking toward one of the mall's department stores, going a different direction than Kyodai and Minako were heading. "See you at practice tomorrow," he said, waving to the couple.
Moments later, after a slow walk with Minako clung tightly onto Kyodai's arm with that hand in hers, the couple entered the vast mall. It was still in the middle of autumn, with no holidays approaching, so the mall wore its usual architectural d?or. It was a 2-story mall, with wide passageways and a wide 2nd-floor balcony. In the middle of the first floor was numerous large indoor gardens, a few ponds filled with various native Japanese fish and plenty of water features, and a large number of benches, tables, and other sitting areas. In the center of the mall was a large, magnificently-sculpted fountain reaching all the way up to the second floor, with its water features spraying water almost all the way to the exquisitely-crafted crystal glass skylight. The rest of the ceiling was littered with many exposed, yet painted metal supports and was lined with numerous skylights at regular intervals. It often hung large banners of various advertisements, store names, store logos, and the common mall logo. And during any holiday season, the same ceilings and metal supports, and even the 2nd floor railing, wore the decorations, colors, banners, streamers, and even the lights of whichever holiday was approaching.
However, today, the ordinary beauty of the mall was overshadowed by the rather large crowds of people taking up the wide halls on both floors. "Wow," Minako said in amazement as some of those from the crowds pass her and Kyodai by, "There really are a lot of people here."
"Like I said, it's Saturday," Kyodai added, "But I don't often see this many people here. And it's not even a holiday."
The couple continued on inside the crowded mall, with Minako still hanging onto his arm not only to show off her love for the man, but also for dear life so as not to get sucked away into the crowd. Simply walking around the mall wasn't going to be enjoyable for the both of them, trying to fight their way through this crowd as if they were swimming the first leg of the Triathlon. Once they had made their way further into the mall, they found some empty benches in one of the many sitting areas in the middle of the first floor halls. Without any words spoken, they both decided to sit and relax for a minute and then decide on what they were going to do at the mall.
"I want to go to the music store," Kyodai suggested, "I love music and love to collect a wide variety of music. Plus, I'm always looking to expand my collection. And I'm sure Rei-chan would want something there as well."
"We can look at clothes after that," Minako added, "I love shopping for clothes. I am always looking for the latest fashions." However, she hung her head, with another sweat drop hanging, "However, I only manage to get a hold of about a third of them. I'm only a junior high student, after all."
"We can go to the department store for that. Besides, I could use a new blazer," said Kyodai, "As if I didn't already have enough of those."
"I can look at some dresses as well, and maybe something I can wear on a future date," Minako added, winking at Kyodai.
"Then it's decided," Kyodai declared as he stood from his bench, proud and determined, "Are you ready to battle this monstrous horde of people on our way to the music store?"
Minako only smiled at his response, quickly turning into a gleeful giggle, "Oh Kyodai-kun, you sound just like one of those romantic heroes from the movies, fighting for a good cause." She then stood from the bench next to him and wrapped her arm around his, leaning her head into his shoulder, "We'll take on the crowd together. Let's go."
After a long and slow journey through the crowded mall, easing their way through the sea of people without causing any unnecessary confrontations, the couple arrived at the music store. There, they had hoped they would finally find refuge from the sea of people flooding the rest of the mall. However, as they entered, they both hung their head in disappointment. "My God, it's crowded in here too," Kyodai said to Minako.
"You're telling me," Minako replied. They both let out a discontented sigh as they decided to tough it out and make their way into the store and toward the CD racks. As the couple began browsing through various CD's, Minako and Kyodai separated, with Kyodai browsing some Pop titles and Minako flipping through some R&B titles. "Hey Kyodai, come here. They've got a new album," said Minako, referring to the group they listened to on their way to the mall, as she waved Kyodai over to her.
Kyodai took little time to walk to Minako and look at the CD for himself, and then just as quickly took the CD and continued browsing, "Thank you, Minako-chan."
"Anytime, Kyodai-kun," Minako replied. The couple spent the next half-hour scanning through various genres of music, with Minako staying mostly in the Pop and R&B sections, and Kyodai going all over the store. After a while, Kyodai was carrying 8 CD's, 3 for him, 3 for Minako, and 2 for Rei. Minako herself had a couple CD's, both pop CD's from two of her favorite idols. As the couple made their way toward the counter, Minako's communicator began beeping. "Sorry Kyodai, I gotta check my pager," Minako said as she fumbled through her purse and pulled out the money to pay for her CDs, and handed both it and her CD's to Kyodai, "I'll be back, okay?"
"Sure, take your time, and be careful in the crowd," Kyodai replied as Minako left the music store seemingly in a hurry.
She briskly swam through the crowds of people with much less effort than her earlier journey to the music store, and quickly found the ladies' room. "No one here," she said to herself, checking each of the stalls, "Good." She then removed her communicator from her purse and turned it on, "Yes?"
"Minako-chan," a familiar voice replied as the face of a black crescent-headed cat appeared on the display, "We've got trouble at Juuban Park. Another soldier is wreaking havoc at the park, and a couple odd-looking youma are with him. I've already sent Usagi out and am calling the others."
"I'm on it," Minako replied as she slipped her communicator back into her purse and she quickly left the ladies room, keeping her eyes out and making sure Kyodai didn't catch her leaving him like this. "I'm so sorry, Kyodai-kun," Minako said to no one in particular, "I don't want to do this, but duty calls. Please forgive me." This time, she made no effort to carefully swim through the crowd as she hurried through, bumping into a couple of people on her way out of the mall. Once outside, she hid in a small niche and pulled her henshin pen out of her purse.
"Venus Power, Make-Up!"
In no time at all, she transformed into Sailor Venus. And without a moment to lose, she jumped onto the roof of the mall with no apparent effort and began running toward Juuban Park. Even with the distance Kyodai had to drive from the Juuban district toward the mall, Minako had to give it everything she had to help her friends and get back to her date with Kyodai.
She soon arrived at the park to find the soldier with his youma terrorizing the people. As awe-inspiring as the scene was, what really struck Sailor Venus was the fact that she and Kyodai were here not much more than an hour ago. The soldier was a rather tall man, clad in plain bluish-black armor and black riding boots. His youma were rather odd as Luna had earlier described, bearing both humanoid and non-humanoid features. They both had human torsos and heads mixed with animal-like extremities and other appendages. The youmas were making quick work of the people, easily overpowering them and draining them of their life energy. With the other senshi having not yet arrived on the scene, Sailor Venus launched her attack on one of the youma, "Crescent Beam!"
She fired a laser at the youma, knocking it off of a hapless woman and sending it on a ride quite a distance through the park. Weakened, it slowly staggered to its feet and began advancing toward Sailor Venus. The other youma had just finished draining another park visitor of their life energy when it saw its companion take the attack from the sailor senshi, as it too began advancing on her. As the youmas neared Sailor Venus, a large blast of fire struck one of them, sending it on a ride across the grassy field and into a tree. Although weakened, this youma too slowly staggered to its feet.
Sailor Mars arrived on the scene and took her place beside Sailor Venus, "Are you okay, Venus-chan?"
"I've never been better," Sailor Venus replied, "Why does the Dark Kingdom have to attack now while I'm on my date with your brother?"
"You know better than I do that they can attack at anytime," Sailor Mars replied, "So let's end this so you can go back to your date with him." Both senshi took it to the youmas, dodging attacks and firing away. With the senshi's hands full with the youmas, the soldier took his opportunity and began draining energy from the nearby people. The fact that neither senshi was getting the upper hand with the youmas made it that much easier for the soldier to concentrate on stealing life energy from the people without fear of retaliation.
Suddenly, flashes of lightning-enhanced bubbles struck both youmas off-guard, knocking them both to the ground and severely weakening them. Sailor Mercury and Sailor Jupiter quickly joined their friends, with Sailor Moon not far behind them, and stared down the struggling youmas.
"There's just no end to these guys, is there," Sailor Jupiter commented.
"Sailor Moon, do it," Sailor Mercury cheered on.
"You got it," Sailor Moon replied as she removed her tiara, "Moon Tiara Action!" With her powers, she charged up her tiara and hurled it at both of the crippled youmas, disintegrating them both into ashes.
The soldier, having finished draining the energy of another small group of people, watched on as his youma fell at the hands of the legendary Sailor Moon. Although he had seen that all five of the sailor senshi had arrived, the soldier merely grinned, "Ah, perfect. With all the senshi here, we can carry out our plans."
"Plans?" Sailor Moon commented, dumbfounded, "What are you talking about?"
"You'll see," the soldier replied as he launched a large ball of dark energy at the senshi, scattering all five of then about the grassy field.
_The Dark Kingdom..._
Inside the throne room of the Dark Kingdom, Queen Beryl sat at her throne, instinctively waving her hands around her crystal ball. There, she was watching the battle as it unfolded, using her crystal ball to project an image of the battle in thin air for her and all her minions to watch. Along with her minions, Jadeite stood before her in the middle of the throne room, watching the projected image of the soldier draining the people's energy and the Sailor Team destroying the youmas. Jadeite had to be present to watch this battle unfold, especially since he was the one who had planned this operation after being punished by Queen Beryl for his previous failure.
Queen Beryl grimaced as she witnessed Sailor Mercury's and Sailor Jupiter's combined attack overtaking and weakening the youmas after they had done such a good job keeping the other two senshi busy. As tempted as she was to lash out at Jadeite for yet another apparent failure, she merely bit her tongue as she listened to the words of the soldier as they sounded about the throne room like they were played at a movie theater. It was then that she grinned, remembering what she and Jadeite had earlier discussed before the operation had commenced. "Perfect," she commented, "We use this soldier and his worthless youmas to lure those sailor senshi."
"Yes," Jadeite agreed, "That part of the plan worked wonders just as I thought it would. Hopefully, it'll be enough to lure the Mars Prince as well."
"But we still have to find out his connection with them," Beryl added, thinking back to the first battles where she had witnessed Tuxedo Inferno and the Sailor Team fighting together. Sure, she had seen the Tuxedo Inferno interfering in many of Nephrite's, Zoicite's, and even Kunzite's operations by himself many times, but his recent appearances alongside the Sailor Senshi had further peaked Beryl's interests in him, as if she weren't already disgusted with him. This was why she had Jadeite plan this operation to ferret him out. "Let's try concentrating on one of them at a time," she suggested, "And we'll see if he's anything like Prince Endymion with that brat, Sailor Moon, and shows up when a certain senshi is in danger."
"You got it, Queen Beryl-sama" Jadeite replied. As he extracted a crystal-like transmitter from his pants pocket and spoke some orders into it.
_Back at Juuban Park..._
Immediately, the soldier charged at the 5 Sailor Senshi with lightning speed, bowling them over and scattering them about the park like bowling pins. He then turned back to the scattered senshi and began to choose one to concentrate his efforts on first. Immediately, he saw Sailor Mercury coming to her feet after her short trip through the air. With his first target sighted, he drew his sword, a 19th century style army saber, and charged at the unsuspecting Sailor Senshi.
Just as Sailor Mercury made it to her feet and shook off the hit she had earlier taken, she turned toward where she figured the soldier would be. Her eyes widened in shock as she caught sight of the soldier dashing toward her at high speed like an angry bull, his saber extended down and to his side. She immediately threw her crossed arms in front of her in a desperation defense as the soldier threw his free arm in front of him and connected with Sailor Mercury, knocking her back to the ground and sending her sliding across the grass. He then took his saber, charged it with his dark energy, and slashed at the air toward the downed Sailor Mercury, sending a powerful wave of dark energy at her, striking her before she could even sit back up and knocking her unconscious.
With Sailor Mercury down and out of the fight, the soldier scanned about the park grounds for his next target. His search was deemedunnecessary, as he caught Sailor Venus racing toward him at full speed. "Fool," he said to the speedy sailor senshi as she slashed his sword through thin air toward Sailor Venus, sending another wave of dark energy at her. Sailor Venus stopped dead in her tracks and threw her hands in front of her face as the foreboding wave of energy barreled toward her. However, Sailor Jupiter immediately dashed at Sailor Venus and tackled her to the ground, effectively saving her from the destructive force of the soldier's dark energy.
After the dust from their landing settled, Sailor Venus opened her eyes to discover Sailor Jupiter on top of her, having protected her from the soldier's attack. "Thank you, Jupiter-chan."
"Anytime," Sailor Jupiter replied as she pushed herself off of Sailor Venus and back on her feet. Although Minako had stolen Kyodai's love from her with her overly flirtatious and at times melodramatic advances, she would throw all their friendly rivalries aside as Sailor Jupiter and stand up for her friend. There would always be time when they were back in their civilian forms to continue with their little friendly battle over Kyodai's love. So she turned her attention back to the soldier, only to discover him running toward the pair with his saber extended to his side and behind. She only lowered her eyebrows and assumed an aggressive battle stance, ready to take him on in a battle of brawns.
As the soldier neared Sailor Jupiter, he raised his saber and began charging it with dark energy. But as the soldier swung it to strike down the meddling sailor senshi, Sailor Jupiter grabbed his wrist, effectively stopping his attack, and threw him down behind her and to the ground with a well-timed jiu-jitsu move. The soldier quickly recovered and rushed at her again, only to end up in a grappling match as Sailor Jupiter had taken both his wrists and was pushing against him with every ounce of strength she had.
Sailor Venus watched on as the two battled it out, pitting their strength against one another. "Now is our chance," Sailor Mars' voice sounded as she joined Sailor Venus by her side, "We had better take him down while Jupiter-chan is busy with him."
"Right," Sailor Venus replied as she threw her pointer finger into the air, "Crescent Beam!"
"Fire Soul!"
Sailor Jupiter immediately released the soldier and leaped out of the way just in time as the combined attack drilled the soldier square in the chest, sending him flying into a tree with armor-crushing force.
"NO!" Jadeite's voice screamed through the soldier's headset. The soldier wore a small headset receiver and microphone under his helmet to assist Jadeite in coordinating his operation with the soldier as he and Queen Beryl observed from the safety of the Dark Kingdom itself. Although the soldier couldn't see it, the silence after the outburst told the soldier that Jadeite was more then displeased with him, clinching his fists in anger while Queen Beryl was glaring at him. "Concentrate on those two," Jadeite's voice yelled through the soldier's headset after a short pause.
"Yes, Master Jadeite," the soldier replied as he pushed himself back to his feet. He then turned back toward the pair of senshi that fired the combined attack at him and quickly chose his target. Then immediately, he fired a swirling ray of dark energy straight at Sailor Venus, connecting with her and sending her flying into the lake, scaring away a number of ducks that were swimming in it. But as he was about to do the same to Sailor Mars, a bright light caught his attention from the corner of his eye. He quickly turned his eyes to catch a glimpse of a flying disk of light sailing toward him. However, he had noticed the flying disk a split-second too late as it struck him in the side, knocking him to the ground and sliding him over a hundred feet down the field.
The flying disk then flew back to its origin as quickly as it had struck the soldier. Sailor Moon caught her flying tiara and quickly donned it without even changing her angry facial expression. "How dare you interrupt my friend on her date with a good-looking guy. And how dare you hurt my friends like that," she said to the soldier as she began striking her battle pose, "In the name of the Moon, you'll be punished."
"Sailor Moon, stop it with your speeches and just finish him off," Sailor Mars ordered.
Sailor Moon sneered at her in response, "Okay, Miss 'I want to be leader'." She then drew her Moon Stick and charged up the Silver Crystal, then quickly aimed it at the struggling soldier and fired a beam of light. The beam struck the soldier, engulfing him in pure light and thus disintegrating him into a pile of ashes. "Alright, we did it," Sailor Moon cheered, jumping up and down in celebration.
_The Dark Kingdom..._
"NO!" Queen Beryl and Jadeite both exclaim as they witnessed the soldier disintegrating on their holographic display of the battle. Jadeite clinched his fists in anger, extremely disappointed in his soldier failing to complete his mission and falling so easily to the Sailor Team. And just as quickly, the thought of more punishment from Queen Beryl for failing in his operation invaded his mind, sending a chill through his body.
"I told you concentrating on one at a time wouldn't work," said Beryl, "How the hell are we going to carry out our plans if your soldiers can't even take those damned Sailor Senshi on."
"But, didn't you tell me to concentrate on one at a time to find out which one brought the Mars Prince into the battle?" Jadeite questioned.
"Of course I did, and I had an idea it wouldn't work," Beryl replied.
"Then I'll have to send in another soldier and change my strategy," said Jadeite, "We still have to draw out the Mars Prince. I'll use as many soldiers as I have if that's what it takes."
"You had better," Beryl demanded, "Or you know what kind of punishment you have coming for you if you fail me again."
"Yes, Queen Beryl-sama," Jadeite replied as he spoke some orders into his crystal transmitter.
_Back at Juuban Park..._
Having defeated the soldier, and in doing so restored the energy of all the people that the soldier and his youma had drained from, the 5 Sailor Senshi regrouped to conclude their battle and part ways. Although the people's life energy had been restored, many of those who weren't struggling to even push themselves up were still lying on the ground unconscious.
"Well, that takes care of that soldier," said Sailor Jupiter.
"I swear, I really hate it when they interrupt our lives," Sailor Moon commented, "Why do they have to attack on a day off from school?"
"Now I can go back to my date with Kyodai," said Sailor Venus, her comment provoking a shrewd glare from Sailor Jupiter. But as she turned to depart and continue on her date, a ball of dark energy slammed into the quintet from out of nowhere, scattering them about the park.
"That didn't feel too good," Sailor Moon commented as she quickly recovered, only to find another soldier clad in bluish-black armor similar to the previous soldier's. "Oh no, not another one," she said as she rolled her eyes back in disappointment. In fact, she was more angry than disappointed, at both her celebration being cut short and her day off being ruined by the inconsiderate Dark Kingdom. So she pumped herself up and charged at the soldier, seeking to quickly end his intrusion as the other senshi were recovering from the soldier's attack. However, he drew a dark crystal similar to Zoicite's and fired an energy pulse at Sailor Moon, stopping her bum rush and knocking her back and to the ground.
With one sailor senshi down, the soldier turned to the other recovering senshi and rushed at them without delay. Just as Sailor Jupiter had gotten to her feet, the soldier aimed the dark crystal at her. It glowed a bright violet and fired an intense beam of dark energy, striking Sailor Jupiter dead in the chest and sending her flying across the lake, landing just on the opposite shoreline.
The other senshis' eyes opened wide in awe, watching as their friend fell so easily to such a powerful blast of energy. In response to such power, Sailor Mercury tapped her earring to don her visor, took out her minicomputer, and began scanning the soldier and his dark crystal. As she was scanning, Sailor Mars advanced toward the soldier, with Sailor Venus not far behind. As the two senshi took it to the soldier, Sailor Mercury gasped at the readings she was getting. "Be careful, everyone," she warned, "The energy readings on that crystal are off the charts."
"Then find a weakness, and quickly," Sailor Mars ordered before the soldier knocked her on her back.
Watching the soldier bully her friends, Sailor Moon quickly removed her tiara and charged it up, "Moon Tiara Action!"
She quickly hurled the tiara at the soldier, striking his dark crystal and knocking it loose from the soldier's hand. However, despite her effort, she failed to destroy the dark crystal. The soldier quickly retrieved the crystal and continued his attack on Sailor Mars. He charged his crystal and fired a beam of dark energy at her, striking her dead in the chest and sending her on a ride through the park and into a picnic table, shattering it on impact.
_Mall..._
After having paid for both his and Minako's CD's at the music store, and braved the crowds in the mall, Kyodai sat on a chair at the department store and patiently waited for Minako. Since they had planned to come here after their visit to the music store, Kyodai figured he would meet her up here. But it had been a half-hour since Minako had left him at the music store in response to her pager going off. And Kyodai then began to wonder what was taking her so long. Was it something important that she had to tend to, or was she on the phone chatting with one of her friends? Fed up with waiting for her, he rose from his chair and made his way to the men's clothing section. 'I might as well start looking though some coats while I'm waiting for her,' he thought to himself on the way there, 'I'm sure she'll find me there.'
Moments later, he arrived at the men's clothing section and began browsing through the large collection of blazers and sport coats. Although he liked most of what he saw, what really caught his eye were a fancy maroon blazer, a well-made maroon double-breasted coat, and an expensive dark maroon business suit. Having found a good collection of fine coats and suits, he couldn't help but wonder, 'I wonder if they happen to have any good tuxedos here?' He smiled at the thought, thinking of both his exploits as Tuxedo Inferno and the costume he wore as his alter ego. Then, reason came to him, 'Nah, I'll search the tuxedo store on my own time.' As much as he would've loved to have taken the coats he had found interesting to the counter, he really wanted to show them off to Minako. And his worries over what was taking her so long quickly reentered his mind. So he put the coats back up and continued to wait on Minako.
Suddenly, a weird feeling came over him, like someone close to him was in danger. Although it was odd to him, suddenly having such a feeling coming to him from seemingly out of nowhere, he figured it was just his worries over Minako taking a long time to run an errand. So he brushed off the feeling as quickly as it had come and continued on his walk though the department store. He decided to search the women's clothing section, figuring that Minako was probably there doing the same thing he had been doing, looking through clothes while waiting for him. However, on his way there, the odd feeling came back, and more vigorously as not only was it the feeling of someone close to him being in danger, but it was a girl's voice crying out for help. And not only was the voice beckoning him, but an all-too-familiar sense of evil lurking nearby flooded his mind like a sinking ship.
Unable to bear it any longer, Kyodai ran through the department store to find a safe place to transform, getting some bewildered glances from people along the way. Finding a good place to hide in a department store was no easy matter since there were plenty of people walking about and browsing in the different sections of the department store. His search became more frantic as he scurried about the store, desperately searching for a good place to transform outside the inquisitive eyes of both the people and the security cameras. Then, in a stroke of good luck, he spotted an elevator. With desperation completely taking him over, he sharply pointed to it and let out a short, "YEAH," and ran to it. He then began pressing the down button, vigorously and impatiently pressing at it constantly. "C'mon, c'mon, work, dammit," he scolded as he continued pressing the down button, "Open sesame."
In what seemed like an eternity and a half, the elevator sounded a ding moments before the door began to open, revealing an empty elevator, completely safe from the prying eyes of people and cameras. "YES," Kyodai cheered as he jumped inside. He then began pressing the close door button just as vigorously as he had done with the down button to get in. Once the elevator door finally closed, he raised his left hand, bearing his obsidian jewel ring, and summoned the power of fire, transforming him into Tuxedo Inferno. Once wearing the tuxedo, cape, and mask of his alter ego that had made him smile earlier, he pressed the button to go to the store's first floor. Once there, he left the elevator and began making his way toward the exit. However, along the way, he discovered that the first floor was every bit as full of people as the second floor. And many people were starring at the rather handsome looking man in the tuxedo.
"Nice outfit handsome," a woman in the kids department commented.
"Thanks," Tuxedo Inferno replied, waving to the woman as he continued walking toward the exit.
"Hey lover boy," a man in the furniture department called out as Kyodai walked by, "Costume party's in the ballroom across the street."
"Thank you, sir," Tuxedo Inferno replied, waving to the man.
As he continued his journey toward the store's exit, more women and even some sorority girls he knew from the Azabu Institute of Technology noticed him, some whistling at him. Moments later, he reached the exit and left the department store with great haste. "Dammit, I'm never gonna transform here again," he said to himself as he began running direction of the park, letting his sixth sense guide him there.
_Back at Juuban Park..._
Sailor Moon was grappling and struggling with the soldier, desperately trying to get to his dark crystal and wrestle it from his grasp. This bout proved to be difficult for Sailor Moon, as her opponent was nearly twice her size. Every time she tried to go for his dark crystal, or even wrestle with him, the soldier easily knocked her aside, pushed her to the ground, or even tossed her into the air. But no matter how many times she was thrown around, she quickly recovered and tenaciously went at him again.
"Sailor Moon," Sailor Mercury summoned, getting her attention. Sailor Moon looked toward Sailor Mercury to find out what she wanted. However, this gave the soldier a perfect opportunity as he threw Sailor Moon hard into the ground. After a few seconds on dream street, she looked back up toward Sailor Mercury and shook the cobwebs from her head, "What is it? Can't you see I'm busy with this oversized hunk of metal"
"Fire and thunder can take this guy out," Sailor Mercury commented.
"But Sailor Mars is way over there," Sailor Moon argued as she pointed to the picnic table where Sailor Mars was just beginning to struggle back to her feet, far too weary to act on Sailor Mercury's advice. "And Sailor Jupiter's on the other side of the lake," she continued, pointing at Sailor Jupiter's unconscious body.
Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a powerful beam of fire drilled the soldier in the chest, sending him on a ride into the lake. The 3 standing senshi took toward the origin of the fire beam on a nearby hill. There, with his maroon cape and long jet black hair waving in the wind, stood Tuxedo Inferno, with his palms still outstretched, pointing toward where the soldier once stood.
"He's back," Sailor Venus commented, "And he easily sent that soldier flying."
"Maybe we should trust him," Sailor Mercury suggested.
"Maybe," Sailor Moon responded, with some doubt lingering in her mind, "Venus-chan, go over to Jupiter-chan and make sure she doesn't lash out at him. If fire works against this soldier, then this Tuxedo Infernocould be of help."
"Right," Sailor Venus replied as she began running around the lake to where Sailor Jupiter had just began recovering from her short but violent ride over the lake.
Moments later, the soldier recovered and began making his way out of the water. Once out, he quickly scanned the park for whoever had him with that surprise attack, only to realize that he had lured the Mars Prince as planned. "Good, you're here," he commented as he pointed his dark crystal at Tuxedo Inferno, "Now face my dark crystal." The dark crystal began to emit a violet light, charging itself with dark energy.
In response, Tuxedo Inferno brought his arm across his body, with his two fingers by his ear. "Inferno Blaze," he chanted before swinging his arm out to his side, "Wall!" With that swift motion, he sent a powerful wall of fire rushing at the soldier, knocking his dark crystal loose from his hand and shattering it into multiple pieces. With the soldier disarmed and more vulnerable, Sailor Mercury and Sailor Moon took this opportunity to finish the soldier off.
"Shabon Spray!"
Sailor Mercury's bubble attack struck the soldier dead in the face, stunning him and enveloping the area around him in a thick fog.
"I've had enough of Dark Kingdom ruining our day off," Sailor Moon snarled as she drew her Moon Wand, "In the name of the Moon, you'll be punished!" She charged up the Silver Crystal and fired a beam of light at the woozy soldier, striking him in the chest disintegrating him into a puff of purple smoke.
With the second soldier utterly defeated, the other senshi began converging on Sailor Moon. Sailor Jupiter, having recovered from her attack and walking toward Sailor Moon with Sailor Venus, spotted Tuxedo Inferno on the nearby hilltop. "YOU," Sailor Jupiter yelled, taking a few aggressive steps toward him and assuming her battle stance, ready to electrocute the man in the maroon tuxedo.
"Calm down, Jupiter-chan," Sailor Moon yelled, startling her friend and effectively stopping her from doing anything rash, such as attack the very man who had helped them to defeat the soldier. She then turned back to Tuxedo Inferno, "Thank you for your help, Tuxedo Inferno-sama."
"Don't sweat it," Tuxedo Inferno said as he turned and exited the battlefield in a hurry, remembering his date with Minako. With the strange tuxedoed warrior gone, she then turned back to Sailor Jupiter, "Jupiter-chan, he helped us out."
"That's right," Sailor Mercury agreed, "He used fire to weaken the soldier while Sailor Moon finished him off."
"But it's all too damn coincidental," Sailor Jupiter argued, "I still don't trust him."
"We need to hold a senshi meeting at the shrine," said Sailor Mars.
"What about your brother?" Sailor Mercury, worried about Kyodai discovering their identities.
Suddenly, Sailor Venus remembered that she had left Kyodai back at the mall to help fight off the Dark Kingdom's soldiers, "Oh my God, I forgot about him," she exclaimed, "Ohhh he's gonna be so mad." She quickly turned and ran back toward the mall with the speed of an Olympic sprinter, not forgetting to transform back into her civilian form when she found a secluded alleyway to safely do so.
"Let's go," Sailor Moon said as she and the other senshi begin walking in the direction of the Hikawa Jinja.
_The Dark Kingdom..._
Queen Beryl and Jadeite had witnessed the entire battle from the safety of the throne room, letting Beryl's crystal project the images of the battle for all in the throne room to observe. Although the soldier was utterly defeated in battle, she and Jadeite both smiled at the results before she broke out into laughter.
"Ha, ha, ha, great," Beryl cackled.
"When the senshi are in trouble, the Mars Prince comes to help," said Jadeite.
"No, you idiot" Beryl snarled, "The pretty little brat's prince would've showed up as well. There must be some connection between him and that pyromaniac, Sailor Mars."
"But none of the senshi, not even she, know about him," Jadeite argued.
"Still, now that we've studied him a little, it's time to carry on with the rest of our plans," Beryl continued. She had already had this plan in the works since Tuxedo Inferno's first fight alongside the Sailor Senshi. But she had to study his connection with them and what had prompted him to join them in the first place before she could even execute her plan. With this information, that time had finally come to act. "Set a price on him," she ordered, "Make sure we get the best bounty hunters on him."
"Bounty hunters?" said Jadeite, weary of her intentions.
"Yes, bounty hunters," Beryl responded, "Nothing will make warriors, especially bounty hunters, more dangerous than their love for money. So put a price on his head. Such a reward will only motivate them to do a better job than any of you Four Kings have at ridding us of the Mars Prince."
"Yes, Queen Beryl-sama," Jadeite replied as he turned and walked out of the throne room.
_end of chapter 1_
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_...Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and most of the characters ain't mine. They belong to Naoko Takeuchi, and I thank that woman for creating such great entertainment. The English dub belongs to DiC Entertainment, and I thank them for bringing' it, and finally the S season, to America. Anyways, Russell Hino, Hino Kyodai, Tuxedo Inferno, and all his other identities are MINE (in a deep, dark, growling voice). The new villain I'm 'bout to introduce is also mine. So, please don't sue me. Well, y'all enjoy this fanfic and e-mail me.
Have fun Sailor Moon fans,
Viper Inferno (Y2V)
2. Chapter 2: The Uninterrupted Date
Title: Five-Alarm Fire - Chapter 2
Author: Viper Inferno
Genre: Action Drama
Rated: PG
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**Five-Alarm Fire **
_By Viper Inferno_
Chapter 2
_2:01pm, at the Hikawa Jinja..._
The senshi arrived at the steps of the Hikawa Jinja after their battle with the Dark Kingdom's soldiers. They had already transformed back into their civilian forms long before their arrival, not wanting to attract any unwanted attention from the many fans of the legendary Sailor Team. Usagi was nowhere to be found amongst the group for reasons known only to the others, and Minako had returned to her date with Kyodai at the mall. Once Rei had gathered them, she led the way as they ascended the shrine steps. Once on the grounds they made their way to the living area, without so much as a word uttered to one another. However, once they went inside and removed their shoes at the front door, the girls immediately noticed the large and well-stocked trophy case. It wasn't any specific trophies that had the girls gazing at them in awe, but rather the sheer number of different gold and silver trophies of different sizes.
"Wow," Makoto commented in amazement, "Rei-chan wasn't kidding about her brother winning so many trophies." 'And Minako's with him, damn it.'
"How did he get so many?" Ami inquired, amazed yet a little envious at the size of his collection.
"These are all the ones he's won since he was 7 years old," Rei explained, "It took me some effort to put this display together, but it was worth it. We're all so proud of him."
Ami and Makoto continued gazing at the trophies, taking in their sheer numbers, their beauty, and Rei's explanation behind them. Just as Ami's eyes had begun examining the individual trophies, Rei marched around behind her and Makoto, placed her hands on the small of their backs, and proceeded to lead them away from the trophy case and toward Rei's room. Just as she had let them to the threshold of the hallway, a girl's voice calling out to her stopped her dead in her tracks. She turned her head to find Usagi hurrying inside and slipping her shoes off at the door, with Luna and Artemis following close behind.
"Sorry I'm late. I had to get Luna," said Usagi as she trotted up to Rei and the others, "And Artemis begged to come along too when I contacted Luna."
"Don't sweat it, Odango," said Rei, "I was late only that one time. However, you're always late."
"I also said you couldn't jump me for being late," Usagi argued.
"That was for a casual meeting, not a senshi meeting," Rei argued back.
Rei and Usagi continued on with their argument, glaring at each other, and sticking their tongues out at one another. Makoto cleared her throat to get their attention, reminding them of why they had gathered there in the first place. So they quickly ended their quarrel and continued their trip to Rei's room. Once inside, Minako, Makoto, and Usagi sat in the middle of the floor, Ami sat on a chair at Rei's desk, and Rei sat on the edge of her bed. Once seated, Luna hopped onto Ami's lap while and Artemis curled up in front of Minako.
"What we witnessed today was pretty unusual," said Rei, opening the discussion.
"Tell me about it," said Usagi, "We defeat one Dark Kingdom soldier and another one shows up."
"We've had things like that happen before," said Rei, "But that's not all. The first one seemed to concentrate on one of us at a time. The second actually spread his attack a little."
"And then Tuxedo Inferno shows up again," Makoto added, "He's been doing that a lot lately. And this time, that soldier seemed to have been waiting for him"
"I must agree with Makoto on this one," said Ami, "That soldier said 'Good, you're here' when Tuxedo Inferno showed up. That must mean something."
"The Dark Kingdom seems to have some sort of plot against us in the works," said Makoto, "Those soldiers and what they said to Tuxedo Inferno, it's all too suspicious for Tuxedo Inferno to be our ally."
"He did help us defeat the Dark Kingdom's minions every time he's shown up," said Rei.
"Speaking of showing up, my Tuxedo Mask didn't even show up," said Usagi.
"That's because you were never in any real danger," said Rei.
"The only ones who had any real trouble were you and Makoto," Ami said to Rei.
Luna cleared her throat to get the girls' attention, "I know it is all too coincidental that he seems to show up just at the right moment, but there must be some way Tuxedo Inferno knows when to help you out. Remember Tuxedo Mask?"
All five nodded in response as Luna continued on, "He too showed up at just the right moment and saved Sailor Moon and every one of you from certain defeat. Tuxedo Inferno's connection with you could be similar to Tuxedo Mask's."
"Couldn't you try one of your fire readings tonight since Kyodai isn't around?" Usagi asked.
"Oh, Kyodai doesn't mind," Rei explained, "He just sees it as another one of my religious practices. Besides, as I told you before, I found nothing on Tuxedo Inferno. But, I'll see what I can find out about the Dark Kingdom and the reason why that soldier made that quote."
"Then it's settled," said Luna as she stood, her tail standing straight up, "Rei, find out what you can about what the Dark Kingdom is up to. As for the rest of you, keep your communicators with you at all times. I'll fill Minako in on the details of our meeting later."
_Dark Kingdom headquarters..._
Although it had only been a couple hours since the results of the battle at Juuban Park, Queen Beryl had much on her mind as she sat at her throne, gently running her hands over and around her crystal ball. The Mars Prince had been on her mind since his first appearance, but since he had been fighting side-by-side with the Sailor Team, his heightened threat to the Dark Kingdom weighed even heavier on her mind. Not only did she have the appearance of all 5 sailor senshi and the loss of Prince Endymion as her pawn for gathering the Rainbow Crystals to deal with, but she had the Mars Prince causing her soldiers and youma a great deal of problems, both as a lone wolf and alongside the Sailor Team.
'So that fire senshi is his connection to him,' Beryl thought to herself, 'So when we get her in a bind, we attract him. But how were we crossing paths with him while he was still a lone wolf? And how the hell did we get him and not those sailor senshi this morning when we attacked in the middle of Tokyo's Juuban District?"
"Queen Beryl-sama," Jadeite's voice resonated about the throne room, breaking her from her trance.
"You're back already?" Beryl snarled as she stared back up from her crystal ball. Jadeite had just entered the throne room, accompanied by a man with long, jet black hair, and wearing red crystal earrings. He also wore black full-body armor with red designs on the breast plate, covering most of the man's body, except for his forearms and shins, on which he wore black leather gloves and shiny black leather riding boots. The edges of his collar, shoulder plates, and skirt pieces were red, and the elbow and knee pieces were also red. And to complete his combat uniform, he wore a fine-made scarlet cape.
"Yes, Queen Beryl-sama," Jadeite replied as he kneeled before her, "I've completed my mission and found us a bounty hunter to rid us of the Mars Prince and the Sailor Team."
"What, only one?" Beryl commented, "I set that bounty so we could have an aggressive band of bounty hunters taking that Mars Prince and those meddling sailor senshi on."
"I understand, Queen Beryl-sama," Jadeite replied, "I found the best, just like you wanted me to. And he was even one of our own, so you can bet he's good."
"A Dark Kingdom bounty hunter?" said Beryl, "Then he should be of good use."
"Queen Beryl-sama, this is Titanius, a former champion of the Dark Kingdom," Jadeite explained, waving his hand toward Titanius, "He became a bounty hunter a long time ago, before we even attacked the Moon Kingdom. He owed me a favor and jumped at the great pay we offered for the Mars Prince. He even offered to rid us of those pesky senshi as well."
"The Mars Prince will make a good notch on my gun belt," said Titanius, kneeling before Queen Beryl, "If it's an army of bounty hunters you wanted, I have a few of my own soldiers who can be a great addition to your army as well. Whatever it is you demand, Queen Beryl-sama, I'm at your service."
Beryl only smiled at his words before she began cackling, "Perfect! With a bounty hunter like him, we'll rid ourselves of the Mars Prince and the Sailor Team, revive our Great Leader, and take back Earth in no time."
_Mall..._
After a strenuous journey across multiple wards in Tokyo, even as Tuxedo Inferno, Kyodai arrived back at the mall and hid at an unloading dock for one of the department stores to hide from any inquisitive onlookers. It was there that he rested against the wall for a minute to catch his breath before finally removing his transformation. Once back in his civilian form, he emerged from the unloading dock and walked toward the main entrance of the department store, the very one he had earlier transformed into Tuxedo Inferno. Once inside, the same thought he had since the end of the battle and throughout his journey back to the mall struck him again. 'Oh my God, Minako's going to be so pissed off at me for leaving her,' Kyodai thought to himself as he began to jog through the department store, catching a few odd looks from a few of the customers, 'She'll leave me for sure, the first girl I've dated since I started college at Azabu Tech.'
In short order, Kyodai arrived back inside the mall itself and quickly ducked around and dodged the crowds of people walking up and down the mall. Thoughts of a crying Minako began weighing on his mind as he continued to hastily swim through the crowds, breaking around some of the people as if they were soccer opponents. Worse than that, for all he knew, Minako might have already left the mall and taken either a bus or train back to the Juuban district, leaving him with only his car, and possibly Obake if he was still somewhere in this mall.
Finally, he had made it to the center of the mall where the large water fountain stood. He figured this part of the mall would've made a great central meeting place, and a possible place for Minako to be waiting for him, if she still was. Once at the fountain, he stopped, quickly caught his breath, and began to scan about the fountain area and the rest of the mall. Sadly, Minako's bow-adorned blonde head and face were nowhere to be found. Defeated, he sat at a bench in front of the fountain and decided to wait on her, figuring she would find him here if she was still here. 'God, I hope I didn't make her upset and leave here,' Kyodai thought to himself, 'I know damn well she's going to be pissed at me for leaving her to do... well, I'd better not let her know about the Tuxedo Inferno thing.'
Meanwhile, Minako arrived at the same the department store that Kyodai had earlier arrived at and began her search for Kyodai. 'God, he's gonna leave me for running out on him like that,' Minako thought to herself as she entered. She figured that she could probably find Kyodai more easily from the higher vantage point of the second floor of the mall rather than the first. So immediately, she dashed at high speed toward an escalator, also catching a few stares from some of the same customers who had given Kyodai some odd looks. Once on the second floor, she immediately dashed toward the mall itself, ignoring the bewildered glances from the customers, and quickly began looking for a store to browse in, finding an impromptu way to cover up her little Sailor Venus secret. In a split second, she spied a make-up store and quickly began to browse through various blush and lipsticks. Quickly unsatisfied, she left the store in near terror, 'God, I hope he didn't leave me here,' she thought to herself, 'He's the first boyfriend I had since losing Allan, and the Dark Kingdom just had to show up and ruin it for me.'
Unsatisfied with her attempt at covering up her Sailor Venus episode, Minako bravely swam through the crowds toward the mall's second-floor railing and began walking alongside it, searching all around both the first and second floors for Kyodai. Her trip along the railing proved much easier than her previous trip though the first floor when she had to leave in response to the Dark Kingdom's attack. Much fewer people were standing along or over the railing than were walking about the halls. Although it made Minako's search much easier, how could one pick out Kyodai out of a crowd of literally thousands of noisy people? 'God, please let Kyodai be here,' she prayed as she continued her valiant search while walking along the railing.
Moments later, Minako arrived at the fountain in the center of the mall; a place where she figured would be an excellent central meeting place. She leaned over the balcony and began scanning all the people on the first floor, searching for any black-haired male wearing clothing that came anything close to resembling Kyodai's. After only a moment of searching, the long, black hair of a gentleman caught Minako's attention from the corner of her eye. She quickly turned to his direction, finding none other than Kyodai sitting on a bench next to the fountain. With her heart racing like she had just run the Tokyo Marathon, mostly from anxiety from thoughts of Kyodai being upset at her for leaving him, she decided to take the bold approach. So she leaned over the railing and called out to him loud enough for all the thousands of people on the first and second floors in the center of the mall to easily hear her, "Kyodai-kun?"
Kyodai glanced up and turned toward the direction of the girl's voice calling out his name for all to hear. There he saw Minako up on the second floor, leaning over the railing, waving at him. And instantly, hints of relief began invading his mind and body as he saw Minako's bright smile accompanying her wave. And as he quickly stood up upon seeing Minako, she quickly pushed herself off the railing and began dashing toward a nearby escalator like an Olympic sprinter, not even caring who she was bumping into.
Kyodai too began running toward the same escalator, breaking and running around people along the way, yet more carefully than Minako was on her journey. He quickly made it to the escalator and began running up it, squeezing by a few people on his way up. Minako too had reached the top of the escalator and began running down, trying desperately to squeeze around a couple snuggling up on the escalator. Once they neared each other toward the middle of the escalator, Minako grabbed the moving handrail and vaulted herself over the dividers and onto the other escalator with such athleticism, landing in Kyodai's open arms and nearly knocking the star soccer player into the people behind him.
On their way up, Minako wrapped her arms tightly around Kyodai's waist, squeezing him with every bit of love, regret, and anxiety that had weighed heavily on her mind since even before her battle with the youmas and soldiers. She then buried her face into his chest, with tears coming to her eyes, 'Oh my God, Kyodai-kun. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for running out on you. Please forgive┘"
"...Shhhh," Kyodai interrupted as they reached the top of the escalator and stepped off, with his finger over his lips before gently placing it over hers, "I should be the one to apologize. I was just as guilty." Minako looked up at him from his chest, showing him her tear-
filled blue eyes. And just as quickly, they softly kissed one another as a small crowd of nearby onlookers cheered for them, whistled at them, and even applauded their overly dramatic display of affection. After a short, gentle, and blissful kiss, Kyodai broke, "I forgive you Minako-
chan."
"I forgive you too," said Minako, releasing Kyodai's waist and throwing her arms over his shoulders and pulling him into another kiss. Again, this rather affectionate display of forgiveness drew out a number of cheers and applause from even more onlookers. After another short and blissful moment, they break their kiss as the onlookers continued to cheer. Kyodai turned to them and took his bow before taking Minako by the hand and leading her back down the escalator. "So where next, Minako-chan?" Kyodai asked.
"Weren't we supposed to go to the department store to look at men's coats and women's dresses?" Minako replied, reminding Kyodai of their earlier plans.
"Yes," Kyodai replied, "But what about after that?"
Minako took a quick glance at her watch, which read 2:45, "We still have plenty of time. So anywhere you want, Kyodai-kun."
Once at the bottom of the escalator, the couple walked more casually in the direction of the department store, carefully blending with the crowds of people. Minako wrapped one arm around Kyodai's while her free hand grabbed onto Kyodai's as the couple made their way through the crowd. Along the way, Kyodai thought felt a massive wave of relief take him over, as if Minako throwing herself into his arms and their passionate kisses weren't enough. All his worries about Minako being upset at him for leaving her had been completely washed away, making him feel so much more at ease about what lied ahead on their date. Thoughts about his big surprise for tonight once again seeped into his mind, which made him decide that the department store was to be their last stop for the day, albeit while taking their time there.
Once inside, Kyodai remembered what exactly he was doing in the moments before he sensed the danger that had prompted him to transform into Tuxedo Inferno. So he casually led Minako through the first floor of the department store and up and escalator. Few words were spoken between them during their entire trip through the mall and into the store. Instead, they enjoyed each other's company in silence, letting their love for one another speak for itself. Once on the second floor, Kyodai led Minako to the men's department and to the coats that he had earlier browsed.
He let Minako go and went straight for the maroon blazer and maroon double-breasted coat. Minako watched as Kyodai removed his sport coat, showing his white long-sleeve button-up, and slid into the Maroon blazer. He buttoned it up and made minor adjustments to its fit and finish before he turned to Minako to show it off, "What do you think, Minako-chan?"
"It looks great on you, Kyodai-kun," said Minako.
"Thank you," he replied as he unbuttoned it and took it off. He placed it back on its hanger, set it aside, and grabbed the double-breasted coat. He then slid into that coat in the same manner as he had slid into the blazer. He carefully buttoned it and wiggled his shoulders and arms inside it, testing out and making minor adjustments to its fit. Once comfortable in it and satisfied with its finish, he turned back to Minako, "How about this one?"
Minako only giggled at his attempt at showing everything off like a male fashion model, "Kyodai-kun, they both look great on you."
Kyodai let a sweat drop hang from his head in response more to his showing off rather than Minako's giggling at it. So, completely satisfied with his selections, he took the double-breasted coat off and placed it back on its hanger. He then selected a few ties to go with them, mostly red, lavender, and purple ones. He showed each of them to Minako, pairing them with one of his coats by laying the ties on them. And Minako responded to how each looked with the maroon coats by either nodding or shaking her head. Once he had selected a fair number of ties with Minako's help, Kyodai took them to the clerk and paid for them. Once he backed the, Minako took his hand into hers and led him to the women's section. Minako had to put up with looking at men's clothes, even if it was with Kyodai. It was only fair that he put up with looking at women's clothes.
So Minako let go of his hand and jogged over to one of the racks displaying some fine-made summer dresses. Minako always enjoyed looking at all the dresses, and even trying most of them on and showing them off to the girls like she was a fashion model on the runway. However, Minako had already spent some of her allowance on her CD's and had only enough left for one dress. On top of that, she wasn't showing the dresses off to the other girls this time, but rather a handsome college student who seemed to have more sophisticated tastes than her friends did. So Minako decided to compromise between trendy fashion and sophistication and grabbed a few dresses to try on.
"Come on, Kyodai-kun," she said, taking his hand and leading him toward one of the fitting rooms where he could wait. Once there, she walked inside with the dresses, while Kyodai patiently waited. Moments later, Minako emerged, wearing a darling little orange and yellow print dress with capped sleeves and an empire waist. This dress was more of a daytime dress, one she could wear just to look very lady-like on get-
togethers with friends and even casual dates. Kyodai examined her from head to toe, noting its fit and finish and how the dress brought out her features, especially when she was wearing her trademark red bow. "It looks beautiful on you," he commented.
Minako only twirled, letting he skirt spread out as she spun around, then winked at Kyodai before she walked back to the fitting room. When at the door, she peeked over her shoulder back at Kyodai, "You'll love this next one." Moments later, Minako emerged from the fitting room, and Kyodai's eyes popped wide open, his jaw dropped, and his heart palpitated at what he saw. Minako had emerged wearing a beautiful pleated ivory halter dress, with an empire waist and a rhinestone buckle, and the skirt cut just slightly above her knees. Even with her red bow, Kyodai was totally mesmerized by just how perfect that dress looked on her and how pleasantly attractive it made her, so much that he could do little but stare at her.
"See, I told you so," Minako replied, giggling as she walked up to him. She gently laid her arms over his shoulders and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips, thanking him for such an overwhelmingly delightful response to her choice of dress.
"You're welcome, beautiful," Kyodai replied after they broke her kiss. It wasn't until she had let him go and made her way back into the fitting room that he had begun examining her dress, showing much of her bare back above the small of her back. Even though he was examining only the back of her dress before she had went inside, he had also taken note of what he had seen when she emerged. The dress fit her body perfectly, bringing out her adolescent yet well-defined curves. It was perfect for a more romantic date with a guy, and was probably what Minako had in mind for a future date.
After trying on numerous dresses and showing them off to Kyodai, Minako had a more casual daytime dress picked out and led Kyodai to the clerk where she spent nearly the last of her allowance on it. After placing her nicely folded new dress in a bag, Minako looked up at Kyodai, "I'm ready to go now. How about you?"
"I'm ready if you are," Kyodai replied as he held arm out for Minako. She wrapped her free arm around his waist in response and laid her head on his shoulder as Kyodai wrapped his arm around Minako's. They then began to make their way out of the department store, again with few words spoken between them. Once outside, Kyodai gazed at his watch, 5:01p.m. 'Wow, we've been shopping this long?' he thought to himself, 'I'd better begin letting her in on my surprise.'
As they started down the parking lot and toward his car, Kyodai turned to Minako, "You know, Minako-chan, I haven't forgotten about my surprise."
"Oh, I can't wait," she replied, "What is it?"
"You'll see," Kyodai replied, smiling at the beautiful blonde.
As they continued walking down the parking lot toward Kyodai's car, curiosity struck Kyodai as they were nearing the place where Obake had earlier parked. So Kyodai caught a quick peek to see if his brand new Civic was still there. However, as he quickly scanned about the cars, none of them resembled Obake's. 'I guess he must've left sometime while I was out fighting that soldier alongside the Sailor Team,' Kyodai thought to himself as he turned his attention back to Minako and their walk toward his own car.
Once they spotted his old coupe, Kyodai led Minako to the passenger side, where he slid his key into the lock and opened the door for Minako. He took Minako's bags off of her hands as she let go of him and climbed inside. Kyodai then walked around to the rear hatch, and saw Minako unlocking his door for him from the inside. He then opened the hatchback and placed his and Minako's bags inside, yet hanging on to the bag with his new CD's. Once he shut the hatchback, he walked to the driver's side and merely opened the door and climbed inside, "Thank you, Minako-chan?"
"You're welcome, Kyodai-kun," Minako replied, "It's the least I can do for you opening the door for me so many times."
Once inside, Kyodai quickly scanned through his new CD's and chose as Minako was buckling her seat belt. In no time at all, he chose one to listen to on his trip to his surprise for Minako and hastily removed the wrapping from it. He then opened his portable CD player, removed his R&B CD from it and placed his new CD inside. Once he closed the CD player, he took his CD case from under his seat and slid it back inside. He then buckled up and slid the key into the ignition to start the engine. Once started, he turned the stereo on and turned his CD player on. Once he shifted into reverse and began backing out, some light melodic music enveloped began playing, filling the car with beautiful ambient music accompanied by the sounds of the ocean.
"Wow, this is beautiful music," Minako commented as she closed her eyes and let the music flood her conscious.
"Yes, I think so too," Kyodai replied as she shifted into first and began to make his way out of the crowded parking lot. Such a task proved much easier than finding a place to park, not having to fight other drivers quite as much. So Kyodai sat back and let the new oceanic music soothe him as he continued on his more leisurely drive. He had plenty of time to cruise about on his way to his surprise Minako.
"What kind of music is this?" Minako asked, "I've never heard this kind of music before."
"This is a type of ambient music, more like ocean-inspired space music," Kyodai explained, "Something had gotten me into various kinds of world-inspired and nature-inspired ambient music."
"Oh? Like what?" said Minako, still with her eyes closed and letting both the music and Kyodai's explanation flow into her mind.
"I don't know, "Kyodai replied, "It's like something from my past, or rather a distant past of sorts, that got me interested in ambient music. I don't remember where, but it's like it was from a dream or something."
"Hmmm... sounds like it might've been something your mother might have listened to when you were a baby," Minako guessed.
"I'm not sure," said Kyodai, "I know Rei sometimes listens to ambient music as well, but as for me, I just don't remember very well where my appreciation for ambient music came from, nor can I really explain it very well either.
"Either way, it's beautiful music," said Minako, her eyes not once opening. Kyodai took his time driving to his destination, wanting to let the music soothe both him and Minako during their trip. After his explanation of the music, Minako sat completely silent throughout the remainder of the trip, letting the music and Kyodai's presence completely relax her body and mind and fill her with a feeling of great warmth. Although it didn't look like it to Kyodai, his sixth sense could easily pick up the aura of Minako's curiosity and anxiety. And with the clock in his car reading 6:00p.m., Kyodai turned at an intersection near his destination and decided to end their leisurely cruise.
"Hey Minako-chan," said Kyodai as he reached his destination and entered its parking lot.
"Yes, Kyodai-kun?" Minako replied, not even opening her eyes as another track began playing.
"You can open your eyes now. We're here," said Kyodai.
When Minako opened her eyes and glanced through the windshield, she immediately noticed that they had arrived at the same movie theater they had visited on their first date. "Wow, a movie," Minako said gleefully.
"Remember that movie I told you about last week?" said Kyodai.
"'The Starlight Warrior'?" Minako remembered.
"Exactly," Kyodai replied, trying to let Minako guess his surprise for herself.
"But, the theaters have been flooded all day," said Minako, "There's no way you're going to get tickets. They've all been sold out all day."
"Look in the glove box," said Kyodai, pointing to it.
Almost as quickly as he had said it, Minako opened the glove box. And immediately, her eyes opened wide and she nearly swooned when she discovered two tickets for 'The Starlight Warrior' 7:30 show. She took the tickets into her hands and held them to her chest.
"Oh Kyodai-kun," she said, becoming completely speechless.
Kyodai quickly found an open parking spot and slid his car into it. As he turned the engine off, Minako unbuckled her seatbelt and she threw her arms tightly around him and kissed him deeply and passionately.
"You're welcome," said Kyodai, getting her message. Minako let go of him and quickly opened her door to let herself out, her excitement over the movie driving her. Once Kyodai stepped out, Minako once again threw herself on him, wrapping her arms tightly around him. After another brief embrace, the couple began making their trek toward the theater with Minako's arms wrapped tightly around his one arm. "How on Earth did you get your hands on those tickets?" she asked.
"I had to stand in line for over an hour after soccer practice yesterday to get a hold of these," said Kyodai.
"You did that for me?" she said as she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, "That was really sweet of you."
Once they arrived in front of the theater, they discovered a very long line as hundreds, possibly even thousands, of people had also gathered to see this highly-acclaimed movie. This long line came as no surprise to either of them, so they merely took their places in line and waited patiently, even though the movie wasn't going to start for another hour. Minako wrapped her arms around Kyodai's waist and holds him close to her as the line moved along at a snail's pace.
"Hey Kyodai, did you know Makoto likes you too," said Minako, remembering her competition with Makoto.
"Really now?" Kyodai replied, wondering why she was bringing up the subject, "Come to think of it, she sure does act like it whenever you're with me."
"And Usagi seems to like you a little as an acquaintance," Minako added, "It might have to do with your friendship with Mamoru and your relation to Rei."
"Usagi seems like a nice young lady. Yet, I still can't believe some jock just ditched her like that," Kyodai said, remembering about the guy who dumped Usagi before his and Minako's first date, then going back to Minako's statement, "I thought she didn't like Mamoru."
"Well, it may not look like it, but I think she has a thing for him, even though he calls her 'Odango Atama'," Minako explained, "She just doesn't like to show it in front of very many people."
"Yeah, Mamoru never told me much about her until Rei brought her up in front of him and me," said Kyodai, "Even though he and I have been best friends since high school, that man still has plenty of mysteries."
"So what we're you like in high school?" Minako asked, curious.
"Well, like I said last week, I was the star player on Juuban's soccer team. I was also the class Salutatorian," Kyodai replied.
"Smart and athletic? That's something I don't see much of that, not even at my school," Minako commented.
"I was what most people would call a 'Scholar Athlete'. I was on the Emperor's Honor Roll for 3 consecutive years. I was a Class Representative for my Junior and Senior years. I also received a full scholarship to Azabu Tech," Kyodai explained, "They offered me both academic and soccer scholarships."
"So you were more of a prep than a jock," said Minako.
"I was certainly no jock, although wasn't really a nerd either," said Kyodai.
"So why don't you live at the college anymore?" Minako asked.
"Well, dorm life at the college was interesting, to say the least," Kyodai explained, "Some of the students there liked to party and go on dates with girls. I didn't participate in that too much, though, as I had spent most of my time either studying or at soccer practice. I did enjoy college life for a short time, though. However, so much of my time was spent at the college that I didn't get to see Rei that much. I haven't lived with her since before I graduated from Juuban Junior High when I moved in with our Aunt Ryeka and Uncle Saki. I missed her... and Grandpa too."
"It's great that you're close to your sister," said Minako. "You know, it would be a pain in the butt if I had younger brother around, always bothering me, teasing me about boyfriends, complaining about being on the phone..."
Kyodai only heard half of Minako's explanation as those very same thoughts about Rei began flooding his mind. He thought about all the times he and Rei had their arguments over Rei bothering him while he was studying, Rei teasing him about bringing home a girl from school even though he wasn't dating her, and Rei bring a pain in the ass. It was something that only those with younger siblings, be they a brother or sister, could truly identify with. Although there were the many times that Rei pestered him, there were also the tender moments they shared. Thoughts about Rei crying over some girl bullying her at school and coming to him for comfort, times when she just wanted someone to hug her tightly, and most of all the memories they both shared of their mother and their mutual dislike of their father also weighed on his mind. Even funnier moments like the pranks they played on one another, times they wrestled, and times they ganged up on Grandpa made Kyodai smile. "Yeah, I can't imagine not having a sister like Rei," said Kyodai.
After a nearly half-hour wait, they finally made it into the vast theater and handed the doorman their tickets. "Theater 7, enjoy the movie," he said, pointing in the direction of Theater 7 and handing the couple their ticket stubs.
"Thank you sir," Kyodai replied as he quickly swam through the crowd toward theater 7, with Minako hanging on to his arm. Although the theater was crowded, they merely just moved along with the flow of other people also heading to theater 7. Once inside, they slowly walked down one of the aisles, looking for not only some empty seats, but ones perfect for them to enjoy the movie whilst in each other's company. And nearly as quickly as they had begun their search, they found those perfect seats in one of the rows further back. So they quickly slid by some of the people already sitting in their seats and took those empty seats. Once they settled in, Kyodai laid his arm over Minako's shoulders as she leaned against him, laying her head on his shoulder as the theater quickly filled to capacity. And there, they waited for the movie to start.
_Meanwhile, back at the Hikawa Jinja..._
Rei had just finished her fire reading sweating very heavily. What she had seen provoked a great anxiety; causing her to breathe heavily and her heart beat at the inside of her chest. With the revelation from her fire reading fresh on her mind, she ran out of the worship room and through the shrine's halls, nearly running into Romano along the way. Romano's eye's popped wide open at the site of the speedy miko and quickly jumped out of her way as if she was one of his soccer opponents, "Hey Rei-san, watch where you're running."
"Sorry, Romano," she called out behind her as she ran into her room and shut the door. She then scurried to her desk and grabbed her communicator and attempted to call all the senshi, but hesitated. She had just realized that Minako was still on her date with Kyodai. Ripping Minako away would not only have made Minako very upset with her for interrupting her date, but also break her brother's heart from his date being cut short. So instead, she decided to contact Luna and have her deal with the senshi. She pressed the button to open a channel to her, prompting the crescent-headed cat's face to appear on the screen.
"Luna, call emergency senshi meeting," she said, "Minako-chan's with Kyodai right now and I suggest that she not be bothered. We've already cut her date short once today, and I'd feel bad for both her and my brother if we did it again."
"At the shrine?" Luna asked, puzzled as to why she's calling a meeting so suddenly.
"Yes, at the shrine," Rei responded.
"Okay, Rei-chan. I'll make sure the others show up," said Luna.
"Please don't cut my brother's bate with her short," Rei reminded, still sweating profusely with her heart beating at her chest, "We can fill her in later."
"I understand," said Luna before her face disappeared from Rei's communicator. With the meeting set and the others on their way, Rei placed her communicator back in her desk, walked over to her bed, and lied down. There, she closed her eyes and tried to collect her thoughts. She certainly didn't like what she had seen, enough to the point that the others had to know immediately. It was already 7:30 in the evening, as shown by her alarm clock, with the sun barely hovering above the western horizon. So she began wondering if perhaps it was not such a good idea to call an emergency senshi meeting so late in the evening, when most day people like her and her friends would be setting down. Nevertheless, she had seen something potentially dangerous not only to those in Tokyo, but more so the sailor senshi themselves.
Within 15 minutes of her call to Luna, there was a knock at her door, "It's open."
The door slid open and Romano's face peeked inside, "Rei-san, you have visitors."
Immediately, Rei threw her legs over the side of the bed and stood. "Good, they're here," she said as she walked to her door, "Thank you, Romano."
"You're welcome, Rei-san," he replied as he stepped out of her way.
"We'll be busy, so please don't bother us," she said as she left her room and made her way toward the living room.
"Yes, Rei-san, I know the drill," Romano replied as he turned and headed back to his own room. Although he was oblivious to the true content of these meetings, Romano had grown accustomed to meetings where Rei and her friends had some kind of important matters to discuss, as have Gabianni and Yuuichirou. So Romano often stayed in his room and turned on his television to tune out their girl talk when Rei held senshi meetings at the shrine.
When Rei walked into the living room, she discovered that all but Usagi and Minako had shown up at the temple. She only hung her head, trembling slightly in frustration. 'Damn her, she's late again,' she thought to herself, referring to Usagi.
"What is it Rei-chan?" Ami asked, quickly breaking Rei from her frustration. But before Rei could answer her question, Usagi suddenly dashed into the living room from outside, sweating profusely and panting heavily like she had just run at a track meet. Once she caught her breath, she gently removed her shoes at the door and walked toward the middle of the room to join Ami and Makoto.
"Usagi, late as usual," Rei commented, looking up at Usagi, "Don't you understand the meaning of 'emergency meeting'?"
"Sorry, Rei-chan, I ran into Mamoru on my way here and..." said Usagi.
"I don't want to hear about it," Rei interrupted.
"But he's such a bully. Why doesn't he just remember that we were made for each other," she said.
"Enough!" Luna hollered, getting their attention before they could begin sticking their tongues out at each other. With the bickering swiftly quelled, all 4 girls then sat around the small coffee table in the middle of the room in the traditional Japanese fashion.
"So what was the emergency?" Makoto asked.
"What did you find?" Ami also asked.
"The Dark Kingdom has sent someone after us. I don't know who..." Rei replied.
"I bet it's that Tuxedo Inferno," Makoto interrupted, her suspicions getting the best of her, as usual.
"Maybe not," said Ami, "The Dark Kingdom activity explains why they've been sending soldiers as well as their youmas in the past couple of weeks."
"Tuxedo Inferno did help us the past three times he's crossed our paths," said Usagi.
"Maybe he is on our side," suggested Ami.
"Or maybe he's an agent of the Dark Kingdom trying to trick us," Makoto added.
"I don't know what is going on, but I do believe they have placed a price on our heads, or on someone else's," said Rei.
"So they're probably sending someone like a bounty hunter," said Ami.
"Maybe they're after Tuxedo Mask again like they were last time," said Usagi.
"Or one of us, or all of us, or maybe even someone close to us," said Makoto.
"The only one I know who is close to us is Kyodai," said Rei.
"Not true," Ami disagreed, "There's Naru, Umino, our families..."
"What would they want with Kyodai?" said Usagi, cutting Ami off, "He's not even a senshi."
"But he is Rei-chan's brother," said Ami, "And sending someone after him could make a great lure."
"They'll most likely make a direct attack," said Luna, "If that person they're sending wants to find us, then he'll attack the people and lure us to him."
"Mako-chan, I still have nothing on Tuxedo Inferno, so he's probably not an enemy," said Rei, "But the fact that I'm getting nothing on him is what's making Tuxedo Inferno such a mystery to us."
"Is that all Rei-chan?" Luna asked.
"That's all," Rei responded.
"Keep your communicators and pins handy," said Usagi, "I hope they don't attack tonight. We're short one senshi until Minako-chan calls us from her date with Kyodai."
Rei merely hung her head, sweat drop hanging, "Wow, Usagi actually said something useful for a change."
Usagi only glared at her in response before turning toward the front door to leave, followed by Ami and Makoto.
"Usagi?" Rei called, stopping Usagi in her tracks as she turned to her, "Please fill Minako in on our meeting when she calls from her date with Kyodai."
Usagi smiled, "Of course, Rei-chan." With that, she and the others left the shrine, leaving Rei with a few worries off of her mind, yet her worries over the possible bounty hunter still weighing heavily. She let out a discontented sigh before she turned and walked back to her room.
_Back at the Theater..._
Minako and Kyodai sat in the crowded movie theater, with Kyodai's arm wrapped around the back of her shoulders and Minako lying her head on his shoulder and her arm lying across his chest. And just as the couple had begun to get cozy, the lights in the theater slowly dimmed as the movie began. Over the next two hours, the couple sat together silently, cuddled together as the movie transpired. It was a movie with action, adventure, and romance, just as it was advertised on TV and in the theaters. During a romance scene involving the main character and his love, Minako pulled herself even closer to Kyodai and nestled her head against the crook of his neck. Kyodai turned his face to hers and gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead in response, and gave her a gentle and affectionate squeeze before turning back to the movie.
"Great Movie," Minako whispers to Kyodai, careful as not to disturb the other viewers.
"Tell me about it," Kyodai whispered back.
During an intense action scene involving the main character and the central villain, Minako tightly clutched on to Kyodai in near fear, as did most of the couples in the theater. Such a scary scene not only made Minako clutch Kyodai tightly, her nails digging into his coat, but also made her bury her face into his shoulder to hide from the scary scene. As the movie neared its climax, Minako began to really squeeze Kyodai, both arms wrapped tightly around his waist, as a battle raged on between the main character and the central villain.
She once again buried her face into Kyodai's shoulder, not even bearing to see the horror of the good guy losing the battle. It was something that she had always feared as both Sailor V and Sailor Venus, the day that she would lose the battle. In fact, she had suffered that defeat once, as Sailor V. And it was the event occurring after the battle, involving her former love Allan and her surrogate sister Katarina, that had forced her to retire from fighting as Sailor V. So she easily identified with the main character losing the battle, as she too had lost in battle and lost her love along with it.
"Minako-chan, look," said Kyodai. Minako looked back up at the screen as the battle was coming to its conclusion. It ended with the bad guy defeated and the good guy badly wounded, with his love by his side. As with most of the girls in the theater, Minako's eyes began to fill with tears as the good guy died and his love gave him her parting speech. It was indeed the saddest scene of the movie; the Starlight Warrior dying for his love, and doing what he had always done best, fighting for what was right. It reminded her of the reasons she returned to fighting for love and justice as Sailor Venus. It wasn't only because a talking white cat named Artemis had convinced her to, but also because it was who she was and it was the right thing to do. And at the end of the movie, everybody stood up from their seats and began their struggle to exit the theater.
After a few moments of struggling through the crowds, Kyodai and Minako finally make it out of the theater and begin their trip toward his car, with few words spoken between them. However, once they arrived at the passenger side of his car, she quickly turned to Kyodai, threw her arms over his shoulders and around his neck, and pulled him close, "That was such a great movie."
"It was just as they said it was gonna be, wasn't it? said Kyodai. "It kinda reminds me of those Sailor V stories I've heard so much about, fighting for what is right, kind of like the knights during the times of chivalry."
Those kind words about Sailor V made Minako smile. Although some of the movie's scenes did remind her of her tougher and more tragic trials as Sailor V, it also reminded her of all the good she had done and the impact she had on the people. And it was those thoughts that made her pull Kyodai's lips to hers as she softly kissed him. And moments later, she deepened it with much love and passion, silently showing Kyodai her appreciation for his kind remarks, and for showing her such a great movie. After a passionate moment with him, she broke their kiss let him go as Kyodai opened the door for her. Minako climbed inside, buckled up, and closed her eyes, letting the warm feelings from the night completely overtake her as Kyodai climbed inside the driver's seat.
He started his engine and pressed the play button on his portable CD player, resuming the ocean-inspired ambient music. With the music creating a relaxing atmosphere inside his car, Kyodai pulled out and took his place in line to leave the theater's parking lot. The traffic in the parking lot was quite heavy, with crowds of people and cars leaving and even more filing in, most of them coming to see 'The Starlight Warrior.'
Minutes later, Kyodai makes it out of the theater and begins his leisurely trip back toward Minako's house. Few words were spoken between them throughout their trip, letting the ambient music soothe their souls. In addition, they were both quite tired from such an eventful day, with their time at the park, their time at the mall, their battle as Sailor Venus and Tuxedo Inferno, their department store shopping, and finally the movie taking a lot out of the couple. Although they were quite relaxed, they were also too tired to say much to each other. Only Minako gently caressing Kyodai's left arm was what she had thought he needed to let him know that few words were needed to make his trip back to Minako's with the beautiful blonde quite enjoyable. As for Kyodai, just having her there was enough for him as he smiled at her gesture.
After a long trip through town, they make it to Minako's house just as the clock in his car read 10:30pm. He pulled up into Minako's driveway and shut off his engine. Minako unbuckled her seatbelt and merely sat there, totally relaxed, as Kyodai walked around the front of his car to her side. He then opened the passenger door to let her out. And like a true gentleman, he walked her all the way to the front door. Once there, she turned to Kyodai, her beautiful blue eyes meeting Kyodai's.
"Thank you Kyodai-kun, for everything," Minako said as she placed her hands on his cheeks and kissed him. She then wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him close as they kissed again with much deeper emotion. With that passionate French kiss, they sealed the ending their night together. They then break their kiss, and Minako turned and opened her front door.
"Good night Minako-chan," said Kyodai, stopping Minako at the threshold of her door.
"Good night Kyodai-kun," said Minako, smiling and winking, as she closed the door.
Kyodai smiled as he turned around and walked back to his car. And on his way, he winced at the joyful squeals and cheers that filled the house and yard, obviously coming from Minako. He let out a heavy sigh at that sound and smiled, thinking to himself, 'Well, at least she enjoyed our date too.' With such a wonderful night fresh on his mind, aside from that soldier's interruption, he hopped back into his car. He turned his engine on, and then his portable CD player, filling the inside of his car with the beautiful sounds and music of the ocean. The then pulled out of Minako's driveway and drove off, back toward the Hikawa Jinja.
_end of chapter 2_
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...Disclaimer: As usual, Sailor Moon and most of the characters ain't mine, but belong to Naoko Takeuchi. And God bless that woman for creating such great entertainment for all of us with a lot of free time on our hands to enjoy. The English dub belongs to DiC Entertainment and Cloverway, and I only thank them for bringing' it to America, nothin' more. But Russell Hino/Hino Kyodai, Tuxedo Inferno, Titanius, and Deanna Kokorono/Kokorono Meijin are MINE (in a growling voice). So, please don't sue me. I'm just a lonely man who ain't got anything but his pride. Well, y'all enjoy this fanfic and e-mail me.
Have fun Sailor Moon fans,
Viper Inferno (Y2V)
3. Chapter 3: Enter Titanius
Title: Five-Alarm Fire - Chapter 3
Author: Viper Inferno
Genre: Action Drama
Rated: PG
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**Five-Alarm Fire **
_By Viper Inferno_
Chapter 3
_The next day, at the Dark Kingdom headquarters..._
Queen Beryl sat quietly at her throne, slowly waving her hands around her crystal ball as her many minions watched from the walls of the throne room. With her crystal, she had projected in the air in front of her various moving images of the people of Tokyo carrying on with their lives. Scenes ranged from the streets of the Juuban District, to Juuban Park, to the Tokyo Tower, to Tokyo Disneyland, to even a soccer game in progress. Beryl examined each of them carefully, seeking out a target for her next attack as her minions silently watched on.
"Well, well, well," said Beryl to her minions, "Just look at all those people carrying on with their pitiful little lives, oblivious to their vulnerability. What a perfect opportunity to attack this is."
Her minions only nodded to her in agreement, not daring to interrupt her thoughts. She had thought about the bounty she had sent out, and the rather small response she had gotten from it. However, the thought of having a powerful bounty hunter who was once of the Dark Kingdom gave her hope, figuring his former loyalty would play a key role in motivating him to rid her of the Mars Prince and the Sailor Team, as if the money involved wasn't enough. She then turned back to the projected images and thought about how perfect of an opportunity it would be to lure those sailor senshi out in the open and attack them. And in the process, she would also lure the Mars Prince as well. And with that plan in mind, she tapped on her crystal ball with her index finger, causing the floating image to disappear.
"Jadeite, Zoisite, Titanius, get your asses in here," Beryl harshly summoned.
Within moments, Jadeite and Zoisite teleported into Queen Beryl's throne room almost in perfect unison and bowed politely to their queen. However, Titanius took much longer to arrive, as he walked into the throne room no longer than 15 seconds after Queen Beryl's summons. "You summoned, Queen Beryl-sama," he said, bowing to her along with the other 2. With 3 of her minions assembled, Beryl began her briefing.
"I have a mission for you. It's time to see just how powerful you are, Titanius," said Beryl.
"He's powerful, Queen Beryl-sama," Jadeite reassured, "I've seen him in action many years ago before our first attack on the Moon. He'll stand a great chance against those senshi."
"That's what I'm counting on," said Beryl, "I want to lure those sailor senshi into battle on purpose so Titanius can take them out."
"So where do we want to lure them?" Zoisite inquired.
"It's a Sunday morning. The people will be all around town," Jadeite responded, "Downtown Tokyo sounds like a good place. The urban landscape will bottle them all in and make the fight easier."
"The park is another good place since there're a lot of people flocking there. It's a perfect opportunity to steal their energy," said Zoisite.
"Great idea," said Jadeite, "You can probably possess some of them too and make it harder for the senshi to take the youma on."
"But you'll have to concentrate on that pretty little brat, Sailor Moon," Beryl rebuts, "She'll be able to heal them in no time."
"That'll also bring in that little prince of hers too," Jadeite added.
"Wherever you send me, and whoever shows, I'm ready to take anything on," said Titanius, "They and the Mars Prince will be a good challenge for me on my first mission."
"Then it's settled. Zoisite, send one of my youma to the park," Beryl ordered, "We'll lure those senshi in, as well as those pesky princes. Jadeite, you stay here and collect the energy that the youma steals. As for you, Titanius, get yourself ready and wait for my order to attack," Beryl orders.
With that, Titanius and Jadeite stood by while Zoisite summoned a powerful youma and sent it to the park. With the youma on his way, Beryl tapped her crystal ball again and projected a large image of the park between her and the 3 men. As they watched on, they hoped that their plan would work to not only gather some much-needed energy for their Great Leader, but also rid themselves of the Mars Prince and the Sailor Team when they show up.
_The Hikawa Jinja..._
"Kyodai, time to get up," Rei called into Kyodai's room.
Kyodai groaned and began stirring around under his sheets and blanket. With thoughts about last night's big date with Minako on his mind and lingering in his dreams, he did not want to wake up. Instead, he wanted to stay in that dream, reliving last night's date. Although it was his second date with the beautiful blonde, it represented the first girl he had dated in a little over a year, even if she was 4 years younger than he was. He certainly had grown to appreciate her energy, whether it's her overly flirtatious moves or her more subtle advances. Then, thoughts of her in that ivory halter dress invaded his mind. 'She looked so beautiful in that dress. That's a sight I will definitely cherish for a long time,' he thought to himself as snuggled himself under his blankets even more, 'Although she has her overly giddy and flirtatious moments, she sure knows how to be a sophisticated young lady. She's not quite like most other younger girls who've thrown themselves at me. And she's leagues ahead of Ariana.'
Suddenly, his door slid partially open as Rei peeked her head inside, "Come on, Kyodai. It's 10:21, time to get up."
"But I wanna sleep in," said Kyodai.
"That's because you've been out too damn long last night, silly," said Rei, "You're gonna miss brunch."
Kyodai lifted his head from his pillows, his sheets and blanket still covering his boxer-clad body, and sniffed the air. Immediately, he picked up the fine morning aroma of sausage cooking. "I smell sausage. What're you trying to cook?"
"Pancakes, scrambled eggs, and sausage," Rei replied, but quickly caught on to her brother's sarcasm, "Don't worry, Gabianni's helping me. We'll have some milk and orange juice, too."
"Okay, okay, I'm getting up, he said as he sat up in his bed, letting his blanket fall to his waist. However, he was still in only his boxers and Rei was still in his room. "Hey Rei, I need a shower," said Kyodai, waving his hand at Rei to shoo her out.
"That's why I'm waking you up now, so they'll be ready by the time you use up all the hot water," Rei said sarcastically, "See 'ya, Kyodai."
With Rei out of his room, Kyodai threw his blanket and sheets aside and swung his feet around and to the floor. Thoughts of Minako still swam through his mind, thoughts about their shopping at the mall, their date being cut short by that Dark Kingdom soldier at the park, and the movie afterwards. "Damn, I do need to hose myself down," Kyodai muttered to himself under his breath as he rose from his bed and walked out of his room, in the direction of the bathroom. Once inside, he turned the water on and waited for it to get to the right temperature.
Moments later, as the water heated up to a hot yet comfortable temperature, Kyodai striped off his boxers and stepped inside. "Ahhh, perfect," Kyodai said to himself as he relaxed under the showerhead. As the comfortably hot water soaked his long hair and streamed down his body, thoughts about last night with Minako once again filled his mind. The first thoughts to come were those about the park, about how carefree and full of energy Minako seems to be. However, the time at the mall could've been better if it wasn't for that Dark Kingdom soldier wreaking havoc back at Juuban Park. But at least his date wasn't ruined as he and Minako showed off some of their best fashions to one another. Then finally, thoughts about their movie date flooded his mind as he thought to himself, 'Ah, the movie with Minako. That was a great movie though, and I spent it with a great girl like her. She does kind of remind me of Ariana, though. But at least Minako has some class to her, and can be a real lady instead of a ditzy airhead. She looks so damn good too, especially in that ivory halter dress she showed me. And she's athletic too; she'd make a great cheerleader if she wanted to with all that energy she has.' Kyodai's thoughts about that night continued, once again focusing on the movie and especially their long kiss afterwards. All of a sudden, a burning sensation broke him from his trance, "AAAGGGHHH!" He leaped back from the near scalding hot water, almost colliding with the wall. Once away from the intense heat, he then heard that the toilet had been flushed.
"Sorry, Kyodai. I just couldn't resist," said Rei, giggling at him.
"I'm gonna pound you, you little brat," Kyodai snarls.
Rei only giggled again at his displeasure as she dashed out of the bathroom. With Rei gone, Kyodai quickly washed his hair and the rest of his body before the water would cool down. Once finished in near record time, he shut the water off and stepped out of the shower. He first dried his long hair, taking his time to soak up all the water from his long jet black hair. He then wrapped the towel around his waist and marched out of the bathroom and over to his room. There, he finished drying his body off and threw the towel aside. Then, he opened his wardrobe and began browsing through his rather diverse collection. "Hmmm, what to wear," he said to himself as he browsed. And almost as quickly as he had opened his wardrobe, he pulled out a red button-up shirt and a pair of black jeans.
Moments later, fully dressed, he walked out of his room and smelled an even stronger aroma of eggs and sausage filling the shrine. He easily concluded that brunch was, all nice and ready. So he followed the smell all the way into the kitchen, where Rei and Gabianni were finishing their cooking. Rei caught him walking in out of the corner of her eye and tunes to him. She once again giggled at him, giggling at her prank of flushing the toilet on him.
"It's not funny Rei," said Kyodai.
"What? I thought it was hilarious," said Rei, "Anyway, brunch is ready anyway. I'll go get Romano, Yuuichirou, and Grandpa." And with that, Rei walked past him, gently brushing herself against his arm in a more sisterly manner, and to the hallway. "Hey Yuuichirou, Romano, Grandpa, brunch is ready," she hollered down the hallway. And as Kyodai was grabbing a few plates to help Gabianni set the breakfast table, the other three filed into the dining area like cattle in a stampede. Rei then walked into the kitchen and grabbed all the finished breakfast items, and took them into the dining area as Kyodai and Gabianni finished setting the table. Once she served them all, she took her place next to Kyodai at the breakfast table, across from Romano and Gabianni. Grandpa sat at the head of the table, with Yuuichirou on the opposite end.
"Wow, Rei, this is actually good," Kyodai commented as he partook in Rei's and Gabianni's American-style breakfast.
"Kyodai!" she said, glaring at him.
"That's because she had me to baby-sit her through her cooking," said Gabianni, "She does a good job when under adult supervision."
"Geez, Gabianni, you too," Rei snarled, glaring at him too.
"Adult supervision or not, Rei-san sure did a good job cooking breakfast for us," said Yuuichirou as he was digging into the scrambled eggs.
"Thank you, Yuuichirou," said Rei, "At least SOMEONE here appreciates my gesture of good will."
"I'm only picking on you," said Kyodai, "Just like you flushing the toilet on me while I was in the shower."
"It kept you from using all the hot water, didn't it?" Rei said, grinning at him mischievously.
"But you did do a great job with breakfast. Thank you, Rei-chan," said Kyodai, surrendering in their friendly little teasing contest.
"You're welcome, Onii-san," said Rei, giving her brother her best smile.
Halfway through breakfast, Rei's communicator begins beeping from her room, loudly enough for all at the breakfast table to hear.
"You've got a pager too, Rei-chan?" said Kyodai, surprised that most of the girls in Rei's group of friends group have pagers.
"Excuse me for a moment," she said as she rose from the breakfast table and walks into her room. Once inside, she slid her door shut and walked over to her desk where she kept her communicator. She removed it and pressed a button and answered it, "Rei here."
"Rei-chan," a voice replied as an image appeared on the screen, revealing the face of a blonde-haired girl with her hair pulled up in a pair of signature dumplings. "I'm at Juuban Park. There's another youma wreaking havoc here, draining the people's energy. I'm sending for the other senshi and transforming."
'Damn, not the Dark Kingdom again,' Rei swore to herself, 'And I was having such a good time enjoying breakfast with Kyodai and the others.' Rei could've easily counted the number of times that her times with her brother not only were cut short by the Dark Kingdom, but will be cut short in the future. And those thoughts only fueled her anger. "I'll be there," said Rei as she shut off her communicator and quickly changed out of her Shinto kimono and into a red t-shirt and black pants. She then walked out of her room and back to the breakfast table. "Guys, I'm sorry to leave you in the middle of brunch, but I have to run an errand for Makoto," she said, coming up with a perfect excuse to cover up her duties as Sailor Mars.
"I understand," said Kyodai "I'll see you later, Imuto-chan. Thank you so much for brunch."
"You're welcome, Onii-san," Rei replied, smiling again as she turned and walked to the front door, "You guys can have what's left on my plate." She then slid on a pair of black flats and walked out the front door of the shrine. Once outside, she quickly turned and ran toward the dojo, knowing that know one was there, and hid inside. Once inside, she took out her transformation pen.
"Mars Power, Make-up!"
Once transformed, Sailor Mars dashed out of the dojo and out of the shrine, running in the direction of Juuban Park.
_Juuban Park..._
After a rather quick senshi power-enhanced run to the park, Sailor Mars arrived at the park to find Sailor Moon gathering groups of children and leading them to safety. She was leading them away from a rather odd-looking youma, a sort of human/octopus hybrid. It had a human torso, head, and arms with the 8 tentacles of an octopus in place of its legs. And in 2 of those tentacles, the youma held a woman hostage as it was draining her energy.
Sailor Mars knew she couldn't use a fire attack and risk burning the woman. So she leaped over 30 feet in the air, doing a couple of somersaults like those of an Olympic gymnast, and landed on the youma's tentacle, jabbing it with her high heels. With all her weight driving her heel into its tentacle, the youma roared in pain and released its grasp on the woman. The woman fell lifelessly to the ground. And with the youma writhing in pain, Sailor Moon ran up to the woman and pulled her away from the youma and to safety, then withdrew her Moon Stick.
"Moon Healing Escalation!"
She bathed the woman in the pure energy emitted by the Silver Crystal, restoring her life. As the woman began to regain consciousness, Sailor Moon threw the woman's arm over her shoulder, supporting her weight, and carried her out of the battlefield. Moments later, the youma recovered from having one of its tentacles stabbed and wrapped 4 of its uninjured tentacles around Sailor Mars. It then lifted her into the air and began to thrash her about.
Quick to think, Sailor Mars engulfed her hands in flames and began throwing wild punches at the youma's tentacles, desperately trying to get it to release her. But as Sailor Mars charged her right hand with a massive ball of fire to throw the money shot, Sailor Jupiter suddenly flew at the youma from out of nowhere. Her left heel connected with the youma's side, kicking it with bone-shattering force, knocking it to the ground and causing it to release Sailor Mars. Once knocked down, Sailor Jupiter dashed over to the youma and grabbed a hold of its body and lifted it over her head. But as she was about to give it an earth-
shaking body slam, a few men tackled her from behind, causing her to drop the youma.
Sailor Mars's eyes opened wide in pure amazement. "Oh my god," she gasped as she backed from another group of men and women slowly advancing toward her like zombies. "USAGI!" she summoned fiercely.
Sailor Moon immediately dashed over to Sailor Mars to find out what was happening.
"That youma's controlling some of the people," Sailor Mars explained.
"It sounds like Kunzite's behind all of this, since I remember he and Zoisite both possessed people," said Sailor Moon as she stood firm next to Sailor Mars, ready to take on the lumbering possessed humans. As one of the men lunged at Sailor Moon, a beam of light struck the man from the side, knocking him out of the air and hard into ground a short distance away from the two senshi. They both turned their heads to find Sailor Mercury and Sailor Venus joining them in battle. Sailor Mercury immediately stopped and crossed her arms in front of her, "Shabon Spray!"
She sent a large barrage of bubbles at the possessed people, confusing some of them, making others nauseous, and covering the battlefield in a thick fog. With the battlefield masked, Sailor Moon immediately removed her tiara and charged it up, "Moon Tiara Stardust!" With all her might driving it, she threw her tiara at the group of confused possessed people, healing every one of them in a matter of seconds. With the evil energy purged from their souls, the people all dropped to the ground unconscious.
Meanwhile, the youma had recovered from Sailor Jupiter's earlier attack and grabbed onto both Sailor Mercury and Sailor Jupiter. With both senshi tightly bound in its tentacles, it began to drain away their energy. Fed up with hostage situations, Sailor Mars decided to take things into her own hands as she clasped them together and began forming a large ball of fire at her fingertips.
"Fire Soul!"
She launched a powerful ball of fire at the youma, setting it on fire and scorching her friends in the process.
"Hot, hot, hot," they both yelped as they hit the ground and flailed about. 'Oh well, at least it let them go,' she thought to herself, shrugging. Sailor Venus ran up to both girls and proceeded to walk them out of the way as she glared at Sailor Mars. Sailor Moon too turned to Sailor Mars and glared at her. "Why did you do that? You knew that they would be hit too," she scolded.
"I'm sorry. I had no other choice," Sailor Mars argued, "It was either risk scorching them, or let that youma drain them of all their energy."
However, the youma only grew stronger and more furious as it doubled its own size. It then threw all 8 of its tentacles at the sailor senshi, scattering them about the park as it grew even stronger.
_The Dark Kingdom..._
Zoisite and Titanius stood in front of Queen Beryl in the throne room as they watched the battle unfold on the image projected by her crystal ball. They both smiled in pure delight as their plan to lure the Sailor Team into battle and put them in a pinch seemed to be working. "Good," said Zoisite, "Those sailor senshi are right where we want them."
"Excellent," said Beryl, "I see your youma is actually doing a good job at not only taking it to the sailor senshi but also gathering energy for Jadeite to collect. How we just have to wait for those princes to show up."
The trio of men and Queen Beryl both continued to watch the battle unfold, with Beryl laughing in sheer ecstasy as she watches the youma grab onto Sailor Mercury and Sailor Jupiter and slam them into the ground. "They should be arriving any minute now," Beryl commented before she turned to Titanius, "Titanius, it's time."
"They're as good as mine," Titanius said in a deep voice. He quickly turned and left the throne room. He joined a couple of soldiers waiting outside the throne room and made his way out of the headquarters and on to Tokyo.
_Back at Juuban Park..._
As Titanius was busy making his way toward the battlefield, the Sailor Team had gotten the upper hand as they launched a combined attack at the youma's face, causing it to wince in pain and released the battered Sailor Mercury and Sailor Jupiter. Afterward, Sailor Moon had run over to the two weakened senshi and drew out her Moon Stick and began to heal them and restore their energy. With Sailor Moon busy healing her friends, the Sailor Mars and Sailor Venus combined their attacks against the youma.
"Fire Soul!"
"Crescent Beam!"
The combined attack struck the oversized octopus youma in the face, weakening it and causing it to fall on its back and its tentacles to fall limp. With Sailor Mercury and Sailor Jupiter healed and their energy restored, Sailor Moon returned and stood beside Sailor Mars and Sailor Venus. "Sailor Moon, finish it off," Sailor Venus ordered.
"Right," Sailor Moon replied as she removed her tiara and charged it with her powers.
"Moon Tiara Action!"
With her sailor senshi-enhanced power, she hurled her tiara at the weakened youma, striking it in the chest and disintegrating it in a matter of seconds. With the battle won, the 5 sailor senshi gathered together to conclude their battle. But before any of them could utter a word, a couple soldiers suddenly attacked them, colliding with them and scattering them about. They all recover rather quickly and begin examining what had attacked them.
"Oh no, not two of them," said Sailor Mercury.
"Geez, there's just no end to these guys," Sailor Mars commented, thinking about her brother and the others waiting for her back at the Hikawa Jinja.
"The Dark Kingdom just doesn't know when to quit, do they," Sailor Jupiter added.
"Then we'll just have to take them out too," said Sailor Venus.
"Right. Sailor Mars, Sailor Venus, take that soldier," Sailor Moon ordered, "Sailor Jupiter, Sailor Mercury, you take the other soldier." But just as the senshi separated to attack the soldiers, they suddenly dashed at Sailor Moon with amazing speed and tackled her to the ground. And just as they had both drawn their swords to finish her off, a sharp pain shot through their backs as roses pierced through their armor. The roses struck them hard enough to cause them to wince in pain and drop their swords to the ground.
Sailor Moon turned over onto her hands and knees and looked behind her to find Tuxedo Mask, standing on a light post with his cape blowing in the wind. "Tuxedo Mask," she exclaimed joyfully with hearts in her eyes.
"Your costumes are hundreds of years out of style, especially when wearing them in the serene environment such as this park," he said as he hopped down from the light post and advanced toward the soldier duo, "Sailor Moon, be strong, and be swift. I'll help you slow these metal speed demons." And with that witty speech, he dashed at the soldiers and threw a volley of roses at the, striking them in various weak joints on their armor and piercing the soldiers beneath. With the soldiers seemingly weakened, the senshi combined their attacks on one of the soldiers.
"Shabon Spray!"
"Fire..."
As they were attempting their attacks, the soldier swiftly shook the roses from his body and launched a powerful wave of dark energy, knocking all 5 senshi back and preventing them from utilizing their attacks. And the other soldier shook the roses from his body and attacked Tuxedo Mask with amazing speed, quickly throwing him aside. With one prince out of the way, the soldier then bum rushed Sailor Mars, tackling her hard to the ground. Sailor Mars quickly recovered and shook off the tackle, only to receive a blast of dark energy from the other soldier knocking her back down to the ground.
Sailor Jupiter also recovered from the dark wave and crossed her arms in front of her. An antenna popped out from her tiara as lightning struck it, charging her attack.
"Supreme... AAGGHH!"
Before she could release the power of lightning, the soldiers double-teamed her with a combined rapid-fire energy beam, knocking her over hundred feet back and back to the ground. One soldier decided to concentrate on other senshi while the other went for Tuxedo Mask as he recovered from the beating he had taken. Tuxedo Mask withdrew his cane and clashed with the soldier's sword. In a valiant display of true swordsmanship, Tuxedo Mask began getting the upper hand on his foe. However, as he was about to knock the soldier back, the soldier's eyes glowed a bright purple as they fired lasers at him, knocking Tuxedo Mask back and causing him to wince in pain. And as the soldier raised his sword to rush at the weakened Tuxedo Mask, a ball of fire struck the soldier from behind, sending him flying over Tuxedo Mask's head. After his flight, he immediately recovered to see Sailor Mars glaring at him with near fury.
"Dammit, I've had enough of you," he swore as he launched a large ball of dark energy at her, sending her flying into a light post with the force of a charging bull and seriously injuring her.
_Meanwhile, at the Hikawa Jinja..._
Kyodai sat with both Yuuichirou and Romano in Yuuichirou's room as they watched a soccer game between Japan and South Korea on TV. They all cheered Japan on as they led South Korea by 1. Soccer was always something Kyodai enjoyed, both as a participant and as a spectator. And it was something he shared with Romano, the youngest of the shrine workers that Kyodai's grandfather had taken in. Romano too was a soccer enthusiast, and played on Juuban High's soccer team as a forward, much like Kyodai was in his high school days. In fact, soccer was the one thing all 3 men shared with each other. While Yuuichirou was the religious follower of the sport as a spectator, Kyodai and Romano were the athletes who participated as well as followed as spectators. So they sat in Yuuichirou's room, cheering for Japan as they played and cursing at South Korea whenever they scored.
Suddenly, Kyodai a strange sensation began to overtake Kyodai during a commercial break. He immediately closed his eyes and placed his fingers on his temple, trying to deduce the meaning of the sensation. Yuuichirou noticed immediately, "Hey Kyodai, you okay?"
"Yeah," he responded, looking back up toward the TV screen, "I'll be fine."
As the soccer game came back on, Kyodai tried to forget the odd feeling and did his best to concentrate on the game. Very little interesting was going on in the game as both sides merely traded possession every time one team even tried to advance toward the other's goal. However, Kyodai was once again overwhelmed again by the same odd feeling, like someone close to him is in danger. This time, Romano was the one to notice it, "Are you sure you're okay, Kyodai-san?"
"I'm sorry guys," he replied as he stood up to leave, "I just forgot I had to do something this morning. I'm heading out for a bit, but I'll be back. Keep me posted on the game, will 'ya?"
"No problem," said Yuuichirou.
Once out of Yuuichirou's room, he ran into his own room and shut the door. Assured that no one was listening, he raised his left hand, bearing his obsidian jewel ring, and summoned the power of fire, transforming him into Tuxedo Inferno. Once he donned his maroon tuxedo and cape, he leaped out his open window and dashed at full-speed toward the park.
_Juuban Park..._
Throughout their tough battle, tangling with a pair of swift-
footed soldiers, the senshi had managed to defeat one of them. However, the defeat of just one of the soldiers came at a rather high price. Sailor Mars had taken a wild thrashing from the soldiers' double-team attacks and was out of commission, and Sailor Moon wasn't much better off. She was struggling to even stay on her feet, wobbling from side to side and having a difficult time focusing on a target. Tuxedo Mask was also out of the battle field and unconscious after suffering a double lariat from the hypersonic duo. So that had left 3 senshi to contend with the remaining soldier.
"Our combined attacks are too slow for this soldier," said Sailor Mercury, "We'll have to divide ourselves..."
Sailor Mercury's advice was cut short as the speedy soldier dashed around behind her and struck her in the back of the head with the pommel of his sword. She fell to the ground, totally limp and utterly unconscious. Sailor Venus watched on in awe as her friend was quickly neutralized. Sailor Jupiter, however, only let it fuel her rage as she stepped forward and crossed her arms in front of her, summoning forth a vicious lightning. With the soldier in her sights, she unleashed the lightning's ravenous fury. However, the soldier spotted her attack as she was summoning the lightning and swiftly dodged her attack. Once he sidestepped her attack, he flew at her as quickly as his agile feet could carry him and struck her with the pommel of his sword before she could even react, knocking the Senshi of Thunder to the ground in a daze.
The soldier then focused his attack at the awe-struck Sailor Venus. Before he could react, he fired a ball of dark energy at her, blasting Sailor Venus out of his way. With all the senshi knocked down or dazed, and barely beginning to recover, he turned his focus back on the unconscious Sailor Mars. Remembering Queen Beryl's strategy to focus on one particular senshi, he ran back to the stricken Sailor Mars and attempted to finish off her for good, by draining the rest of her energy. But as he reached for her, a beam of fire struck the soldier from the side and knocked him away a good distance from her.
All the other sailor senshi and even Tuxedo Mask had witnessed the attack as they were recovering from the beatings they had taken. They looked toward the origin of the fire beam to find Tuxedo Inferno on top of nearby gazebo, with his long hair and cape flying effortlessly in the wind. His appearance further motivated the senshi to quickly recover from their thrashings, giving them a new found energy.
"He's come again," said Sailor Venus.
"I hope he's fast enough to contend with that agile soldier," said Sailor Mercury.
However, only Sailor Jupiter glared at him with utter suspicion, yet remained silent as she too recovered from her beating. The soldier also recovered from the fiery attack and decided to make another attempt at finishing off Sailor Mars, completely ignoring the tuxedoed warrior.
"He just doesn't give up," said Tuxedo Inferno, "It's time for a little diversion."
He hopped down from the gazebo and waved his hand in the soldier's direction, "Inferno Laughing Spirit!"
Suddenly, a burning ghostlike spirit materialized from thin air and flew toward the soldier. It began to fly around him, laughing at him maniacally. The soldier took his sword and swung it at the cackling spirit with all his might, but the spirit vanished into thin air, effectively dodging the attack. It then reappeared right behind the soldier and continued with his psychotic laughing. The soldier turned swiftly, swinging his sword at the pesky spirit, only to miss again as it disappeared. It then reappeared right in front of his face, stuck his tongue out, and blew raspberries at him. The soldier swung his sword at the spirit again. However, the sword passed through the flaming ghost as if it were nothing but air, and the spirit continued on with his utter laughter.
With the soldier completely occupied with the meddlesome spirit, Sailor Moon found her opportunity and removed her tiara, "Moon Tiara Action!"
The soldier never saw her attack coming with the spirit constantly flying around him and laughing at him. The tiara slammed him in the face, reducing him into a pile of armor plates and ashes almost instantly.
The flaming spirit disappeared as Tuxedo Inferno and Sailor Moon dash over to Sailor Mars to check on her as the other senshi watched on. Tuxedo Inferno knelled down to her and placed his hand on her neck, and luckily felt a pulse. However, her fuku had received a few small slashes and was quite tattered, and her body was completely limp.
"She's hurt pretty badly," he said, "She must've taken one hell of a beating."
"Oh my god, Sailor Mars," she gasped.
"Don't worry, I can help her," he said as he placed his hand on her chest and closed his masked eyes, "Inferno Phoenix..." As he uttered those words, a fiery bird appeared in the sky and descended toward the trio. "Revive!" As the bird descended closer to the trio, fire began to form around Sailor Mars' body. Then Tuxedo Inferno pulled his hand away as the bird transformed into pure fire and bonded with Sailor Mars, engulfing her in its life-giving flames. The senshi watched on as the flames subsided, leaving Sailor Mars with her fuku completely restored and any visible wounds heeled. She opened her eyes, looking upon the masked face of Tuxedo Inferno and the concerned face of Sailor Moon.
"Sailor Moon," she uttered as Tuxedo Inferno took her by the hand and helped her to her feet.
"I'm so glad you're okay," said Sailor Moon as she threw herself at Sailor Mars and her arms around her, "Tuxedo Inferno here saved us."
Sailor Mars wrapped her arms around Sailor Moon in response and turned to Tuxedo Inferno, "Thank you, Tuxedo Inferno."
But before Tuxedo Inferno could reply, a deep, dark voice suddenly began laughing at the senshi. They all turned to its origin to see a man in red and black armor with his red cape and long black hair waving in the wind.
"And who the hell are you?" Sailor Jupiter said with great anger.
"I am Titanius," he replied, crossing his arm in front of him and taking a polite introductory bow, "Queen Beryl told me about you and sent me here to send every one of you straight to hell."
He then withdrew a large futuristic-looking rifle, aimed at the trash-talking sailor Jupiter, and pulled the trigger. The rifle fired an intense green beam at her, sending her flying backward into a nearby tree with great force. The remaining senshi and Tuxedo Inferno scattered as Tuxedo Mask waved his arm at the new enemy, throwing dozens of sharp-
tipped roses.
Titanius quickly reacted and threw up a force field, deflecting each and every rose that would've found their mark. And just as quickly, he pointed his blaster at Tuxedo Mask and fired, striking him dead in the chest. The beam had struck with such great power, that it sent him on a ride toward the lake, causing him to skip across its entire 1/4-
mile width.
"Hey Titanius," a Sailor Moon's voice yelled to him. He turned to see Sailor Moon removing her tiara and charging it up, "In the name of the Moon, you'll be punished! Moon Tiara Action!"
Sailor Moon hurled her tiara at Titanius with all her might driving it. However, Titanius jumped aside, dodging the flying tiara and counterattacked by firing his blaster Sailor Moon. However, Sailor Moon saw him pointing his blaster at her and turned to run away as the beam fired, missing her by inches. Having missed, Titanius quickly trained his blaster on the running Sailor Moon and took aim. And just as he was about to pull the trigger, Sailor Moon's tiara struck him in the back of the head on its return trip, knocking him to the ground.
With Titanius busy, Tuxedo Inferno turned to Titanius, seeing his opportunity attack, and teamed up with Sailor Mars and Sailor Venus.
"Fire Soul!"
"Crescent Beam!"
"Inferno, Flame!
The combined attacks connected with Titanius, giving him his frequent flyer miles as he flew into a nearby playground, dropping his blaster as he landed. In almost an instant, he pushed himself back to his feet and retrieved his blaster. He then turned to the first senshi he could find, Sailor Mercury, and began charging toward her.
"Oh no you don't," Tuxedo Inferno said as he dashed at Titanius with amazing speed, "Inferno Fire Dance!" At near light speed, he dashed all around Titanius, setting the area around him ablaze and striking him with well-choreographed dance moves. As he finished his fiery dance, he stepped back to observe the results. However, his eyes under his masked opened wide as he discovered that Titanius was still standing after taking such a swift and powerful attack. He simply stared at the amazed Tuxedo Inferno square in his masked face and raised his blaster, aiming straight for his chest. But just as he was about to pull the trigger and put the tuxedoed hero out of his misery, a tiara slammed into it, knocking it out of his hand and shattering it into many small pieces.
"What the hell?!" Titanius exclaimed, his hands still outstretched as if it were still holding his blaster as he stared down at what remained of his blaster, "You just destroyed my favorite blaster."
With Titanius wide open and awe-struck at the destruction of his powerful weapon, Tuxedo Inferno took the opportunity and waved his arms, "Inferno Fire..." He then threw his hands in front of him, "...Beam!" With that chant, he fired an intense beam of fire at Titanius, connecting with his chest and sending him flying into a covered picnic area. He casually pushed himself back to his feet, only to discover the 4 remaining senshi and Tuxedo Inferno staring straight at him, ready to finish him off.
"You may have won the battle," he said, "But the war has just begun. We shall meet again." He threw his arm in front of him, releasing a smoke screen. The smoke covered the entire covered picnic area and enveloped the senshi and Tuxedo Inferno, causing them to cough and gag. Moments later, the smoke cleared, revealing only the covered picnic area. Titanius was gone.
"Who was he?" Sailor Venus wondered.
"Apparently, he's that bounty hunter that the Dark Kingdom had sent after us," Sailor Mercury replied as she analyzed her minicomputer, which she had been using throughout the battle to gain data on Titanius, "And he has to be the most powerful guy we've had to fight yet."
"Do you know him," Sailor Moon asked Tuxedo Inferno.
"I've never seen him or even dreamed of him before," he responded, "So I really have no idea who he is."
"I understand. I'll go check on Sailor Jupiter," Sailor Moon said as she ran off, with Sailor Venus trailing behind her. The rest of the senshi also turned away and ran toward the fallen Tuxedo Mask to check on him.
"Well, my work here is done," Tuxedo Inferno said to no one in particular as he turned and ran out of the park, back toward the Hikawa Jinja.
"You okay, Sailor Jupiter?" Sailor Moon said as she and Sailor Venus reached her.
Sailor Jupiter merely groaned as she struggled to push herself back to her feet, "I've been better."
"Tuxedo Inferno came back and helped us defeat Titanius," said Sailor Moon.
"Is he still around?" Sailor Jupiter asked, with not even enough energy to take an aggressive stance if Tuxedo Inferno was still around.
In response, Sailor Moon looked about the park, only to see no sign of Tuxedo Inferno. "Nope, he's gone," she replied, "But it looks like he's the least of your worries."
"Yeah, that Titanius is one powerful guy," Sailor Jupiter said as the others come to their position.
"Where's Tuxedo Mask?" Sailor Moon wondered.
"He recovered when we got there and left shortly after," Sailor Mars responded.
"So is Tuxedo Inferno," Sailor Venus added.
"I saw that. And I wanted to thank them both for coming to our aid," she said, rising to her feet and letting out a heavy sigh, "Oh well."
She then looked at all 4 of her senshi, all looking at her with concerned faces, yet curious ones as well. This battle was by far the toughest they've had to endure since Kunzite's first appearance. And it all had them worried. Sailor Moon only nodded to them all in response as she came up with a quick solution to their concerns. "Meeting at Makoto's?" Sailor Moon proposed.
"Right," the other senshi responded as they all ran out of the park and in the direction of Makoto's apartment.
_The Hikawa Jinja..._
After this battle with the Dark Kingdom, Kyodai arrived back at the shrine in his civilian form. The soccer game was foremost on his mind as he ran up the steps of the shrine, with thoughts of the Dark Kingdom interrupting his time with the guys at the shrine. It was supposed to be a time when he could bond with the guys since he was living at the temple, and would in time help him to accept them as surrogate brothers. And as Kyodai reached the top of the steps, he hoped that he still had time to pick up where he had left off before the battle.
Once inside, he removed his house slippers at the door since he was still wearing them when he transformed in his room. At least he still had socks on. So he merely walked casually in the direction of Yuuichirou's room, pretending to have just returned from the errand he said he had to run. He opened Yuuichirou's door, finding him and Romano still watching the soccer game. He let out a big sigh of relief, "Good, I made it in time."
Yuuichirou and Romano both looked at Kyodai.
"Kyodai-san, you're back," said Romano.
"You didn't miss too much while you were gone," said Yuuichirou.
"Hey, Yuuichirou. Hey, Romano," he replied, waving to them both, "So what's the score?"
"At 62 minutes, it's Japan 4, South Korea 2," Yuuichirou answered before he turned back to the TV, only to see the Korean players celebrating, "Oh man, Korea just scored."
Relieved to still have a third of the game left to go and things starting to get interesting in the game, Kyodai took seat on Yuuichirou's bed as the 3 watched the game. On the TV, the Korean players and the Korean fans were still celebrating their recent goal, prompting the men to yell and throw popcorn at the TV in response. And with that, the battle with the Dark Kingdom quickly left Kyodai's mind, and all his worries with it.
_Later, at Makoto's Apartment..._
The door to Makoto's apartment opened, and all five girls in their civilian forms walked inside with Luna and Artemis trailing behind following. As they were making their trip to Makoto's, Usagi had contacted Luna while Minako contacted Artemis. Both girls had wanted to include the cats in their meeting, especially with the appearance of a new enemy weighing heavily on their minds. So as the girls had made their way inside, they took their seats on the couches surrounding Makoto's coffee table. Luna hopped up on Ami's lap, while Artemis jumped into Minako's as they both listened to what the girls had to say.
Rei took a deep breath and opened the discussion, "Today's battle was unlike any other."
"Tell me about it," said Minako.
"First, we have a couple of really fast soldiers attack us," Usagi explained, "And then this guy in black armor shows up to crash our celebration."
"He said his name was Titanius," said Makoto, "And he sure packed one hell of a wallop. That gun of his was more powerful than any weapon I've ever seen the Dark Kingdom use."
"Luna, do you know anything about Titanius?" Usagi asked.
"I remember him to be a former member of the Dark Kingdom," Luna explained, "But he left the Dark Kingdom long before their attack on the Moon Kingdom a thousand years ago. From what I've heard, Titanius had become a bounty hunter, a very dangerous one."
"So he must've been the one from my fire reading," said Rei.
"So he was a bounty hunter after all," said Ami, "I scanned him while we were fighting him. Luna, he wields a lot of power. I can safely say that he's as powerful as even Kunzite."
"And with Titanius back and working for the Dark Kingdom, they'll be an even more dangerous threat to earth," said Luna.
"And us," Makoto added, "If he's the bounty hunter Ami was talking about, then the Dark Kingdom does have a price on our heads."
"What about Tuxedo Inferno?" Minako asked, "How does he fit in to all of this."
"Tuxedo Inferno seems to be on our side," said Ami, "He even helped us to defeat Titanius."
"I agree with Ami," said Rei, "My fire readings didn't reveal anything about him."
"I still don't trust him much," said Makoto.
"Why not?" Usagi inquired.
"This could all be nothing but a trick by the Dark Kingdom," Makoto explained.
"Oh, will you get off your suspicions already," Rei said grimly, "He saved me from that soldier. He saved us from Titanius. I think he's on our side."
"I agree," said Usagi.
"Back to the subject," said Luna, "There have been more soldiers lately and less of a variety of youma. I don't know what's doing on."
"The Dark Kingdom is certainly getting ruthless," said Artemis, "First, they send a lot of strong soldiers after us, then they resurrect the other 3 Kings, and now they hire a bounty hunter. I don't know what's going on either, but the Dark Kingdom is planning some major offensive."
"All more the reason to keep alert," Luna added, "Artemis and I will look into things. You girls try to carry on with your lives, but keep your communicators and pins handy."
With that, the girls and cats rose from their seats up and walk toward the front door to leave. Makoto, on the other hand with it being her apartment, decided to stay and resume her housecleaning.
_The Dark Kingdom..._
Although he was defeated in his first battle with the Mars Prince and the Sailor Team, Titanius walked down the halls of the Dark Kingdom wearing a grin on his face. He certainly felt completely satisfied with the battle, as it was his first real challenge since he had left the Dark Kingdom over a thousand years ago. And it was that satisfaction that he walked into Queen Beryl's throne room with no fear of any possible punishment she had in store for him. Once inside, he saw Queen Beryl, patiently awaiting his report as she continued waving her hands around her crystal ball. He stopped in front of her and her crystal and kneeled down to her.
"That was a good battle you fought, Titanius. You really sent the Mars Prince, Prince Endymion, and those sailor senshi a message today. Rise," said Beryl, with Titanius rising from his kneel, "You are powerful like Jadeite said you were."
"Thank you, Queen Beryl-sama," Titanius replied, "It was definitely a good challenge, but I lost my only blaster to the Mars Prince and that damned Sailor Moon."
"Don't you have any other powers besides that blaster?" Beryl inquired, "You were once a champion of the Dark Kingdom."
"Indeed I do, but the blaster was my favorite," Titanius replied.
"Then use your powers," Beryl ordered, "You could use a little practice at them since you relied on that blaster for so long."
"Yes, Queen Beryl-sama," Titanius replied. During their conversion, Jadeite and Nephrite walked into the throne room, talking amongst themselves.
"And this is our new bounty hunter, Titanius," said Jadeite, waving hand in Titanius' direction to introduce him.
"So, he used to be one of ours?" said Nephrite
"Right, he was a great champion before he left to become a bounty hunter," Jadeite explained.
"I see," said Nephrite, "He should make an excellent addition to our ranks."
"Right you are," said Beryl as she glared at the two men for interrupting her briefing with Titanius, "Anyway, good job at sending a message to them, Titanius. As for you two, I expect double efforts out of you. If you all combine your powers along with Titanius', the Mars Prince and those senshi are as good as gone. Dismissed."
Jadeite and Nephrite bowed to her in response, while Titanius gave her a British salute, as they turned to leave Queen Beryl's throne room, leaving her and her minions to their thoughts.
_the end_
* * *
...Disclaimer: As usual, Sailor Moon and most of the characters ain't mine, but belong to Naoko Takeuchi. And God bless that woman for creating such great entertainment for all of us with a lot of free time on our hands to enjoy. The English dub belongs to DiC Entertainment and Cloverway, and I only thank them for bringing' it to America, nothin' more. But Kyodai Hino/Hino Kyodai, Tuxedo Inferno, Titanius, and Deanna Kokorono/Kokorono Meijin are MINE (in a growling voice). So, please don't sue me. I'm just a lonely man who ain't got anything but his pride. Well, y'all enjoy this fanfic and e-mail me.
Have fun Sailor Moon fans,
Viper Inferno
(Y2V)
End file.
| fanfiction |
How does light oscillate?
Why do we say that electromagnetic wave is oscillating? Or does light propagate really in a wavy form like this image?
![enter image description here](https://i.stack.imgur.com/ovxpJ.jpg)
What is making the photons oscillate and how is it oscillating is it oscillating back and forth (and if oscillating back and forth how does it move if its moving back and forth at the same point?)?
Why do we say that the EM field is constantly changing when in the above picture its constant? (we know that a compass is not able to follow an electromagnetic radiation because the EM field is constantly changing)
In light propagation, *oscillation* does not mean any movement in space. It is the value of the electromagnetic field, at one given point in space, that oscillates.
The picture that you quote does not represent the movement in space, but the electromagnetic field value as a function of time.
Compare to waves in water: if you put a little boat on the water, the boat will actually go up and down when a wave passes by, showing that the water is indeed going up and down. For electromagnetic waves, there is *no* matter or photons that go up and down.
Instead, you have to imagine that there is a little arrow associated to each point in space: this little arrow is the electric field direction. Another arrow, at the same point, is the magnetic field. These two arrows change size and direction with time, and in fact they oscillate. But remember they only are related to one point in space. The next point in space will have different arrows. The whole space is filled with many arrows, one at each point, and they interact with each other. This interaction allows for the oscillation of one of them to be transmitted to the next one, and the next , etc.
We say the electromagnetic wave is oscillating because something waves as the wave passes by. Light does propagate as per the above image, but it isn't the full story. For a bit more, have a look at the Wikipedia [electromagnetic radiation](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electromagnetic_radiation#Derivation_from_electromagnetic_theory) article and note this:
*"Also, E and B far-fields in free space, which as wave solutions depend primarily on these two Maxwell equations, are in-phase with each other. This is guaranteed since the generic wave solution is first order in both space and time, and the curl operator on one side of these equations results in first-order spatial derivatives of the wave solution, while the time-derivative on the other side of the equations, which gives the other field, is first order in time".*
Also see the [Aharonov-Bohm](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aharonov%E2%80%93Bohm_effect#Potentials_vs_fields) article about potential being "more fundamental" than field, and think along these lines: *the sinusoidal electric waveform is the spatial derivative of electromagnetic four-potential, whilst the sinusoidal magnetic waveform is the time-derivative*. To picture this, imagine you're in a canoe at sea. Imagine an oceanic swell wave comes at you. Imagine it's just a hump of water, without a trough. As the wave approaches, your canoe tilts upward. The degree of tilt denotes E, whilst the rate of change of tilt denotes B. When you're momentarily at the top of the wave, your canoe is horizontal and has momentarily stopped tilting, so E and B are zero. Then as you go down the other side, the situation is reversed. In similar vein you can draw the sinusoidal electric waveform as the spatial derivative of the "hump" of potential like this:
![enter image description here](https://i.stack.imgur.com/1eInd.gif)
Now, note this: if you flew over the oceanic swell wave in a helicopter, keeping pace with it, *it's just a hump*. It isn't oscillating at all. It's only oscillating for the guy in the canoe, because it's passing him by. It's similar for the photon, which I think of as one electromagnetic wave. And of course waves usually come in "wave trains", wherein one wave follows another, as per your picture, because the wave was generated by something oscillating.
This is [an image](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Linear_Polarization_Linearly_Polarized_Light_plane_wave.svg) that I like to show my students. It shows that the electric field of the wave in OP's question is everywhere:
[![electric field in space](https://i.stack.imgur.com/wzBZm.png)](https://i.stack.imgur.com/wzBZm.png)
I have tried to make [an animation of how the electric field moves](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:PlaneVectorWave.gif), but that is not very pleasant to look at. Sine waves look better and can represent the phase of the wave, but the color wheel provides visualizations of phase that are less likely to reinforce the misunderstanding that something is wiggling. [Such animations](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Plane_Wave_3D_Animation_300x216_255Colors.gif) are pleasant to watch. And they can also be interpreted as the phase of coherent photons.
| stackexchange/physics |
Why do full shell ions such as chloride form coordinate bonds, while noble gases do not?
Both $\ce{Cl-}$ and noble gases have full outer shells, why does $\ce{Cl-}$ react whereas the noble gases mostly don't?
Taking the general molecular orbital scheme of an octahedral complex — for the sake of discussion, let’s assume it to be $\ce{[FeCl6]^3-}$ — as shown in figure 1, there is an incentive for both the metal and the chlorides to undergo complex formation.
[![molecular orbital scheme of an octahedral complex where the ligands show pi-effects](https://i.stack.imgur.com/ifA4a.png)](https://i.stack.imgur.com/ifA4a.png)
**Figure 1:** Molecular orbital scheme of an octahedral complex including σ and π interactions from the ligands to the metal. Based on the schemes given by Professor Klüfers in his [coordination chemistry course at the LMU Munich](http://www.cup.lmu.de/ac/kluefers/homepage/L_kc.html).
Complexing a metal is especially favourable for the ligands since they are able to lower their electrons’ energy levels significantly by forming dative σ bonds — and in the cases of halides or other full shell ions, even the electrons in π-symmetric orbitals benefit a little by π forward-bonding.
Therefore, the question should better be rephrased as:
>
> Why are noble gases **not** known to form coordinate bonds?
>
>
>
Adding an electron to an atom means that all its orbitals are raised in energy: There is additional negative charge repulsing the electrons. This brings the energy levels of the valence electrons closer to those of the metal they are bonding with, and only for similar energy levels is the energy gain from interacting maximised. Note that electronegativity (that inversely correlates rather well with the energy level of the highest occupied orbital) rises from left to right across a period, so the noble gases have highest electronegativity and therefore the lowest valence energy levels. (The correct physical observable would be ionisation energy, but the same holds generally true for that.)
Therefore, the orbitals of noble gases should be *substantially* lower than those of halides, which are again notably lower than those of oxido/sulphido ligands. This gives a large energy difference between metal and potential ligand orbitals meaning that noble gases would easily be displaced by better ligands such as water.
However, I could imagine without having checked the literature that metals with high oxidation states may be able to be complexed by noble gases as their orbitals are again substantially lowered.
Part of a complex's reactivity is due to its valence, part is due to its charge. The noble gases have a neutral charge in addition to complete valence shells. They really have very little incentive to interact with anything. While $\ce{Cl-}$ does have a full outer shell, it's running around with a negative charge that will allow it to interact with anything else that is also charged, whether positive or negative.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
"Aerial America" Flickr Photo Contest
Copyright: Entrant agrees to allow Sponsors to use their name, biographical information, photos for promotion, trade, commercial, advertising and publicity purposes, at any time or times, in all media without additional compensation
Entry deadline: 30th September 2011
Who can enter: Open to all non-professional photographers who are at least 18 years old and a legal residents of the 50 US states and Washington DC.
To celebrate and honor the beautiful splendor of America, the Smithsonian Channel and "Aerial America," one of the most expansive TV projects about our nation, is hosting a national photo competition on Flickr. We want to encourage everyone to submit their best photos of anywhere in America, including their own hometowns!
Grand Prize Winner: $3,000
5 Finalists: $250
50 Semi-finalists: Smithsonian Channel Prize Package
Each Entrant can enter up to two images per category. A total of 10 total entries will be accepted from each individual Entrant. All submissions MUST be photographs taken in the United States.
To enter logon to www.flickr.com/groups/aerialamerica , join the Aerial America Flickr Group, agree to the Official Rules and Terms of Service, upload your original photo, and geotag the coordinates of your photo location for consideration into one of the five categories.
OFFICIAL WEBSITE: www.flickr.com/groups/aerialamerica
Black and White Photo Awards 2023
Queen's University Student Photo Contest 2023
2023 Epson Pano Awards
Amateur, Contests, Current, Flickr, Free, Landscape, Nature | slim_pajama |
Krotona was one of three important Theosophical centers in the United States during the early part of the 20th century. Originally built in Hollywood during 1912, the colony was eventually relocated to Ojai, California in 1926, where it operates today as the Krotona Institute of Theosophy.
Located just off of State Route 33, the Krotona Institute holds regular classes and workshops on Theosophy, maintains an extensive library on the occult, and has a small bookstore.
The Hollywood Krotona building located at Primrose and Vista Del Mar was erected in 1919. Tenants have included Annie Sullivan Knudsen sugar cane heiress, New Yorker Grace Shaw Duff, Henry Hotchener, Marie Russak, silver screen stars Mary Astor and Charlie Chaplin, and record producer Joshua Rumer of Invengo Records. When the Krotonians, spurred by Madame Blavatsky, found Hollywood suffocating their peace-filled theosophies, they decided to move to Ojai California and that is where they have been ever since.
It was about a year before the Primrose building went up that Alice Bailey, subsequently a Theosophical and Spiritualist leader and author, moved to a cottage on Beechwood Drive, to be near the Krotona colony, from Pacific Grove, CA, near Monterey. She had joined the Theosophical Lodge in Pacific Grove and was teaching and holding classes. Not long before, she tells, she had left her original traditional Christian beliefs behind and soon after discovered that there was a great and divine Plan, and that there are those who are responsible for the working out of that Plan by leading mankind, stage by stage, down the centuries. This hierarchy of spiritual leaders she calls the Masters of the Wisdom, and they all report to and work with Christ, Jesus of Nazareth. Her own Master, Lord K. H. or Koot Hoomi, had made visits to her every few years, starting she said in 1895, this being one of his many duties in his role as a pupil or assistant to the Christ. K. H. was a master of love-wisdom. Bailey said about 500 people were then part of the Krotona community, some living on the premises, and she began work there by emptying the garbage. Soon she worked in the vegetarian kitchen and noted that some of the vegetarians felt smugly superior to carnivores, while others had no such notions. She remained with the Theosophical Society until 1920.
References
Further reading
External links
Theosophical Society - North America
Category:1912 establishments in California
Category:Esotericism
Category:Intentional communities in California
Category:Populated places established in 1912
Category:Theosophical Society | wikipedia |
What dangers/risks are there in the production of carbon subnitride?
I was reading that carbon subnitride or Dicyanoacetylene has one of the hottest flames when used as a fuel, but it also is unstable and can explode easily into carbon powder (no specifics on cause). The only thing I know about its production is that it requires extremely hot graphite to have nitrogen blown on it. What specific risks are there in producing it or storing it, and how does it get produced and stored safely? For example is it safe to store at room temperature? Can it be produced safely in a normal atmospheric environment?
There is no way, dicyanoacetylene can be produced at room temperature. According to the paper "Syntheses of Dicyanoacetylene", decomposing 4,5-dicy ano-1,3-dithiol-2-one at 600-800°C, a 59-76% yield of dicyanoacetylene is obtained along with side-products like carbon disulfide, carbonyl sulfide and sulfur. Another scheme is pyrolyzing solid dicyanodiazomethane at 220°C, which polymerizes. The polymerised product is decomposed at 700°C to get desired product. Further, a note on the storage of dicyanoacetylene is mentioned:
>
> Dicyanoacetylene is a hazardous material. Because of its toxicity and
> high vapor pressure at room temperature, **it should be handled only in
> a hood.** It is potentially explosive, both in the pure state and in
> concentrated solutions, but its thermal stability in dilute solutions
> in inert solvents is greater than previously re-ported. Pure
> dicyanoacetylene turns dark slowly at room temperature, but it can be
> kept almost **indefinitely at Dry Ice temperature**.
>
>
>
Dicyanoacetylene can only be kept at very low temperatures, in dry ice or liquid nitrogen, like a dewar, away from light and oxygen, as it may polymerize. Do not store it for long. Diluted solutions of dicyanoacetylene are much more stable, and can be safely kept at standard conditions.
**Reference**
1. Syntheses of dicyanoacetylene, Engelbert Ciganek and Carl G. Krespan, The Journal of Organic Chemistry **1968** 33 (2), 541-544, DOI: [10.1021/jo01266a014](https://pubs.acs.org/doi/abs/10.1021/jo01266a014)
I suspect that it will be difficult to make, but it will be a very endothermic compound. As a result it has the potential to decompose back into the elements with a release of heat energy.
If we assume that when $\ce{C4N2}$ is a gas, then if it decomposes it will form $\ce{N2}$ and four carbon atoms. As the number of moles of gas does not increase at STP, the explosive power of the substance (product of heat of detonation multipled by the increase of number of moles of gas) will not be very large for a given heat release.
If we look at the literature, (Moureu, C. and Bongrand, J. C., Comptes Rendus Hebdomadaires des Seances de l'Academie des Sciences 1910 vol. 150 p. 225 - 229) it indicates the melting point of the compound is $\pu{21 ^\circ C}$ and the boiling point is about $\pu{76 ^\circ C}$. Thus it will have a high vapour preassure. Thus we can consider it to be a volatile compound.
Sadly I have been unable to find any details of the thermochemistry of this compound.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
Is the index 1 in the substituent name "1-methylethyl" a redundant index?
I want to identify the correct IUPAC name for this compound:
[![enter image description here](https://i.stack.imgur.com/A0lkv.png)](https://i.stack.imgur.com/A0lkv.png)
I would say this is **2-methyl-5-(methylethyl)-5-(1-methylpropyl)-nonane**. However, the solution manual says that it is **2-methyl-5-(1-methylethyl)-5-(1-methylpropyl)-nonane**.
I don't understand why the first "1-" index is necessary. It doesn't add any information, as "(2-methylethyl)" would actually be just a propyl.
Am I missing something?
I'd not subtract a point for your "mistake," because there is no point to prove you are wrong. However, suppose the group is different than methyl. Then the position matter at that point. Say its bromo-group. So, 1-bromoethyl- and 2-bromoethyl- are two different things. That's why that rule is for. Can't give any favors just for methyl! :-)
| stackexchange/chemistry |
CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE
Written by
Dan Fogelman
February 19, 2010
FADE IN:
1 INT. FRENCH RESTAURANT (PASADENA, CA) - EVENING 1
Soft music. A classy joint. Below the tables, WE PAN
well-heeled feet nuzzling. Finally we SETTLE ON:
A PAIR OF FEET
WHITE SNEAKERS sitting opposite FANCY HIGH HEELS. These
feet aren't nuzzling. There's distance here.
PULL UP, REVEALING CAL WEAVER (42) and his wife, TRACY
(41). A handsome couple. He'd be JFK to her Jackie O...
if he gave a shit. Unfortunately, he doesn't (i.e.:
white sneakers in fancy French restaurant).
Cal pulls out READING GLASSES, looks at the menu.
CAL
Well, I'm full. You were right,
hon. I shouldn't have eaten all
that bread.
(THEN)
Want to just share a dessert?
Tracy is lost in thought, gazing at a menu.
CAL
You okay, babe? You seem out of
it.
TRACY
Yeah, I'm just thinking about what
I want.
CAL
Me too. Okay, let's say it at the
same time. One. Two. Three...
TRACY CAL
I want a divorce. Creme Brulee.
CUT TO:
2 INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE (PASADENA) - SAME EVENING 2
JESSICA (17) chases after MOLLY (9). Jessica's skinny,
wears glasses, a hipster T-shirt. In five years, she's
going to make all the boys' heads spin. But not yet.
(CONTINUED)
2.
2 CONTINUED: 2
JESSICA
I'm gonna getcha! I'm gonna
getcha!
She grabs Molly and tickles her. Molly SQUEALS with
delight. As she kicks... SMASH! A picture falls off the
nearby console. Jessica picks it up:
ON SMASHED PHOTO
Cal and Tracy. This is their house.
BACK TO SCENE
JESSICA
It's okay, my fault.
(THEN)
Alright, kiddo, it's getting late,
let's get you to bed before your
parents get home. Don't give me
the puppy eyes, you little maniac.
Go brush your teeth!
Molly GIGGLES, RUNS upstairs. Once Molly's gone, Jessica
looks at the photo. She eyes Cal affectionately.
CUT TO:
3 INT. BAR 3
Meanwhile, TWO YOUNG PROFESSIONAL WOMEN drink and laugh
at a table. HANNAH (24) is clearly buzzed.
HANNAH
I don't care. I love him and
given the opportunity, I'd have
his babies.
Her best friend, LIZ (29), LAUGHS.
LIZ
Seriously? Conan O'Brien? You'd
do Conan O'Brien?
HANNAH
I'm just saying, Richard's a lot
of things: successful, smart...
LIZ
Boring, workaholic, sexually
repressed...
(CONTINUED)
3.
3 CONTINUED: 3
HANNAH
But he's not very funny, that's
all.
LIZ
Yeah, well, you want funny, go
watch `Cosby' reruns. You want a
good lay, go get yourself some
of... that.
She motions off to the side.
HANNAH
What?
LIZ
The hot piece that's been checking
you out for the last hour.
THE CROWD PARTS, revealing: JACOB PALMER (32). The
smoothest, coolest son-of-a-bitch you've ever seen. He
tilts his glass at them, toasting.
4 INT. LEXUS SUV 4
Meanwhile, Cal sits in the passenger seat, dazed. A "to-
go" box from the French restaurant in his lap. Tracy
drives.
TRACY
Aren't you going to say anything?
Nothing.
TRACY
Almost twenty-five years of
marriage, you have nothing to say?
She looks at him. He turns to her, about to say
something, then... stops himself. Turns back forward.
It's silent. Devastating.
CUT BACK TO:
5 INT. CAL AND TRACY'S HOUSE 5
Meanwhile, Jessica (the baby-sitter) stops at a bedroom
door. She hears MUSIC coming from inside, puts her ear
to the door. It's Lady Gaga. It's awful.
She smiles, knocks and opens the door at the same time.
(CONTINUED)
4.
5 CONTINUED: 5
JESSICA
Hey, your sister's asleep, just
checking you're alive --
She SCREAMS as --
ANOTHER ANGLE
ROBBIE WEAVER (13), quickly covers himself up. He was
masturbating.
ROBBIE
Close the door!
BACK TO JESSICA
who slams the door shut.
JESSICA
(THROUGH DOOR)
I'm sorry, Robbie! I didn't see
anything, I swear.
BACK INSIDE ROOM
Robbie lies there frozen, horrified.
6 INT. BAR 6
Meanwhile, where Liz and Hannah keep drinking.
LIZ
I don't know, Hannah. Your life
is just so... PG-13.
Hannah's mouth drops open.
HANNAH
My life is not PG-13!
LIZ
It so is. You've never left LA.
You pass the bar you're gonna be,
what, a patent lawyer, probably
married to that snooze-fest
Richard. I just worry about you
is all. Hell, you've resorted to
fantasizing about Conan `Ginger-
Dick' O'Brien.
(CONTINUED)
5.
6 CONTINUED: 6
HANNAH
(ADORABLE)
He's funny.
LIZ
He looks like a carrot, honey.
Hannah LAUGHS.
VOICE (O.S.)
Who?
They turn. It's Jacob Palmer (the stud from earlier).
LIZ
Hi.
JACOB
Hi. Who looks like a carrot?
LIZ
Conan O'Brien. My friend Hannah
thinks he's sexy.
JACOB
I think your friend Hannah is
sexy.
Hannah LAUGHS.
HANNAH
You didn't really just say that.
JACOB
Pretty sure I did.
HANNAH
How old are you?
JACOB
Thirty-three next month.
HANNAH
Then you should know by now that
cheesy pick-up lines don't work.
Jacob sits down at their table, uninvited.
JACOB
I find you incredibly sexy. It's
a fact, not a cheesy pick-up line.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
6.
6 CONTINUED: (2) 6
JACOB (CONT'D)
There are many attractive women in
this bar -- including your friend
here -- and I've been unable to
take my eyes off you, only you,
for the past two hours. Again:
not a cheesy pick-up line, just a
fact.
(THEN)
Answer this quickly, without
thinking about your answer: do
you find me attractive?
Hannah doesn't flinch.
HANNAH
I don't.
JACOB
Yes you do.
LIZ
Yes, she does.
JACOB
I'm an accomplished lover. If you
come home with me, I am confident
you will leave satisfied.
Multiple times.
HANNAH
You've got to be kiddi--
JACOB
We'll make love and it will be
amazing. You'll laugh afterwards
and say `I never do this kind of
thing.' Then you'll do it again.
HANNAH
Is that so?
JACOB
It is. So now I'm going to ask if
I can buy you another drink. If
you say yes, we'll have one more
cocktail each -- just enough to
start losing inhibitions, not
enough to get sloppy, after all:
I promised to satisfy you.
LIZ
Multiple times.
(CONTINUED)
7.
6 CONTINUED: (3) 6
JACOB
That's right. So, here we go,
Hannah: can I buy you a drink?
Hannah and Liz share a look.
HANNAH
What do you expect me to say to
that?
JACOB
Margarita, rocks, salt.
HANNAH
Wow.
She STANDS, grabs her coat and Liz's hand.
HANNAH
Okay, time to go.
Liz doesn't move.
LIZ
I'll go home with you, you can
call me Hannah, I don't give a
CRAP --
HANNAH
Liz!
LIZ
(whispering to him)
Another time, maybe.
GIGGLING, the girls leave the bar.
7 INT. LEXUS SUV 7
Still driving, Tracy looks at Cal. He remains silent.
TRACY
I'm unhappy, Cal. I've tried not
to be. We've been married so
long, somewhere we became...
stagnant, you know?
He keeps staring straight ahead.
TRACY
Okay, you're not talking and you
know that only makes me talk more.
Maybe that's good, maybe that's
good. Okay...
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
8.
7 CONTINUED: 7
TRACY (CONT'D)
(THEN)
There's this person.
No response.
TRACY
We've been spending time together.
Lunches, meetings, that kind of
stuff...
Silence. She closes her eyes tightly.
TRACY
I slept with him. Kind of.
Tracy opens one eye, taking a peek. Nothing.
TRACY
No, no kind of. I can't believe I
said kind of. That's just not
something you do in a kind of way.
I slept with someone. There. I
said it. I slept with someone.
Oh God. It's the worst thing I've
ever done but it feels so good to
say out loud. I slept with
someone. I SLEPT with someone. I
slept with SOMEONE. I slept with
... please stop me, please say
something.
No reaction.
TRACY
David Jacobowitz. From work. You
met him at the Christmas party.
You remember that party? They had
the giant paper-mach� wreath? I
kept asking the decorator how he
made it? You wore that sweater --
Finally, Cal speaks --
CAL
Please stop.
TRACY
The last person in the world I'd
ever want to hurt was you, Cal --
CAL
If you keep talking, I'm going to
get out of the car.
(CONTINUED)
9.
7 CONTINUED: (2) 7
TRACY
But the fact that I did, that it
could happen at all, I think it
just shows how broken we are and --
CAL
Okay.
Just like that, Cal OPENS THE DOOR to the moving car and,
simply, steps out. Tracy SCREAMS as Cal goes flying.
She screeches to a stop as he tumbles to the curb in her
rearview mirror.
8 EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS ACTION 8
Tracy runs to him. He's on the curb, BLOODIED but okay.
TRACY
Are you out of your mind!?
He looks up at her, pleading.
CAL
I'll leave tonight, I'll sign
whatever you want me to sign, if
you'll just stop talking about it.
She touches his bloody forehead, affectionate. There's
still something here.
TRACY
Okay.
CAL
Okay.
He stands, limps back to the car.
9 INT. THE WEAVER HOUSE 9
Meanwhile, Jessica sits on the living room couch. Robbie
ENTERS, stands there. He's a precocious, adorable,
masturbation-addicted, thirteen-year-old.
ROBBIE
I'm sorry that you had to see
that.
She keeps staring straight ahead.
JESSICA
I should have knocked.
(CONTINUED)
10.
9 CONTINUED: 9
Silence. After a long beat.
ROBBIE
For the record: I think about you
while I do it --
JESSICA
Robbie!
ROBBIE
I have a picture of you and I look
at it the whole time --
JESSICA
Stop it!
ROBBIE
I love you, Jessica. And I know
you're seventeen, and I know I
just turned thirteen, which is the
same age as your little brother,
and you're technically my baby-
sitter, but someday soon our age
difference will be inconsequential
which is good because...
JESSICA
ROBBIE --
ROBBIE
I'm pretty sure you're my
soulmate.
She stops, looks at him and smiles gently.
JESSICA
Listen, Robbie --
LIZ (O.S.)
We're home.
ROBBIE
Shit.
Jessica jumps off the couch.
JESSICA
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Weaver. How was
dinner...
(NOTICING)
Oh my God, Mr. Weaver, you're
bleeding. Why are you bleeding?
(CONTINUED)
11.
9 CONTINUED: (2) 9
CAL
Mrs. Weaver told me she wants a
divorce so I jumped out of the
car. Hope the kids behaved. Come
on, I'll drive you home.
Robbie steps INTO FRAME.
ROBBIE
Dad?
CAL
Oh. I didn't know you were here.
ROBBIE
You're getting divorced?
CAL
Yes.
TRACY
Cal!
ROBBIE
And you jumped out of a car?
CAL
A moving car, yes.
TRACY
Cal!
CAL
(TO ROBBIE)
I'm sorry you found out this way.
ROBBIE
I'm sorry you jumped out of a car.
CAL
Thanks.
(THEN)
Jessica, you got your coat?
JESSICA
Uh-huh.
10 INT. LEXUS SUV - LATER 10
Cal drives now. Jessica in the front. Awkward.
Finally, Cal starts talking to himself. Almost shell-
shocked.
(CONTINUED)
12.
10 CONTINUED: 10
CAL
We'll talk to the kids tomorrow.
Tell them we're separating. Just
separating. We'll do it together.
He thinks.
CAL
I'll have to tell Nanna. Uch,
she's gonna be crushed. But not
right now. She's got enough to
worry about...
He trails off. Another long beat of silence, then he
remembers his company and turns toward Jessica.
CAL
(WITH ENERGY)
So, I hear Stanford early
admission, huh. I know your dad
is so proud.
JESSICA
Yeah.
(THEN)
You're bleeding real bad, Mr.
Weaver.
She goes to touch his eye. Out of nowhere... he starts
BANGING THE SHIT out of his steering wheel.
CAL
David Jacobowitz! Are you kidding
me!? DAVID FUCKING JACOBOWITZ!
GOD DAMN HER!
He calms down, slowly. Pulls up to a DRIVEWAY.
CAL
Sorry about that.
JESSICA
It's okay.
Jessica reaches for the door, but stops. She takes a
deep breath, adorable.
JESSICA
Mr. Weaver, I know you don't know
me very well, but I've been baby-
sitting for your family for three
years. You're the nicest dad of
any of the families I baby-sit
for, by a country mile.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
13.
10 CONTINUED: (2) 10
JESSICA (CONT'D)
You're funny, and you're always
really generous, and you're the
only dad who's excited --
genuinely excited -- to check on
his kids when he gets home from
dinner. Now I like Mrs. Weaver, I
like her a lot, but if she wants
to divorce you, well... then I
think she's batshit crazy.
Cal smiles, distracted but grateful.
JESSICA
In fact -- and, I hope this
doesn't make you uncomfortable --
I think I've even developed a
LITTLE CRUS--
CAL
(NOT LISTENING)
Hey: do me a favor -- can you not
mention what's going on between
Mrs. Weaver and I to your parents?
It's probably better they hear it
from us. Okay?
JESSICA
Uh-huh.
CAL
That's my girl.
Jessica awkwardly gets out of the car.
CAL
Hey, Jessica? Thanks for
listening.
She smiles, turns back. She freezes when she sees...
He's holding CASH out the window to pay her.
CAL
You put this to that fake ID
you'll need up at Stanford.
And with a sad wink, he drives off -- leaving her
standing there, lovelorn and forty-five dollars richer.
CUT TO:
11 INT. BAR - LATER 11
Cal sits at the bar, drinking away his sorrows. He's
disheveled, a bit wobbly. He motions for the BARTENDER.
(CONTINUED)
14.
11 CONTINUED: 11
BARTENDER
Another vodka cranberry?
CAL
Yes. Just... yes.
A GIRL (30s) approaches the bar. Cal taps her shoulder,
a drunken train-wreck waiting to happen.
CAL
Guess what?
GIRL
What?
CAL
My wife is having intercourse with
someone who isn't me.
GIRL
I'm sorry to hear that.
CAL
That's very nice of you to say.
She just told me tonight,
obviously it came as a bit of a
shock and you're not listening
anymore.
The Girl has turned back to a group of friends.
CAL
I bet you wouldn't ignore me if I
were David Jacobowitz. My wife
doesn't ignore David Jacobowitz.
(to no one)
She screws him.
Something catches Cal's eye across the bar. We PAN TO...
JACOB PALMER
wearing his two thousand dollar suit, he's now got TWO
BEAUTIFUL WOMEN fawning over him at his table.
Cal takes him in for a long beat, turns back to the
bartender, and decides:
CAL
(RE: JACOB)
Gay.
15.
12 EXT. CORPORATE APARTMENT - MORNING 12
You know these places: basically a "strip" of identical
housing units -- usually occupied by newly-divorced dads.
A WOMAN (60s) gives Cal the tour.
WOMAN
So it's pretty no-frills. Unit 2
is a lot like unit 1 except you're
downstairs so... the ground is
closer. Which is nice.
13 INT. CORPORATE APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER 13
The most depressing, empty, beige place ever.
CAL
I guess the price is right.
WOMAN
Yeah, well, tons of divorced guys
here. You'll fit right in.
Cal SIGHS, un-enthused.
CAL
I'll take it.
WOMAN
Ooh, the gym has an elliptical
machine... I assume you want to
get back in shape?
Cal looks down, embarrassed.
CAL
I guess.
WOMAN
Great! I'll let you know when
they fix it.
14 INT. OFFICE - AFTERNOON 14
Cal sits at his desk, doing paperwork. His BOSS ENTERS.
BOSS
Cal, I just got the weekly sales
report, good good good! You
really killed this quarter!
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
16.
14 CONTINUED: 14
BOSS (CONT'D)
Keep it up you're going to be
sitting in my seat by year's end.
Really great, Cal. Seriously.
CAL
Who told you Tracy and I were
getting a divorce?
BOSS
(RELIEVED)
Divorce! That's it. Amy heard
you crying in the bathroom. We
all thought it was cancer. Thank
God.
CAL
I have to go buy furniture now.
Cal stands, EXITS.
BOSS
Go for it!
(then, calling after)
It could have been cancer, buddy!
15 INT. FURNITURE STORE - LATER 15
Cal is sitting on a plain, faux-modern couch. He's
staring into space. A SALESMAN APPROACHES.
SALESMAN
Can I help you, sir?
CAL
My wife is sleeping with David
Jacobowitz. I need a couch.
SALESMAN
Ooh, I understand. Can I give you
a word of advice, one divorced man
to another? If you don't mind?
CAL
Sure.
SALESMAN
Get the matching chaise, killer
deal.
He pats the adjacent piece. Cal processes this.
CAL
I want it in beige.
(CONTINUED)
17.
15 CONTINUED: 15
SALESMAN
I'll write you up.
16 INT. BAR - NIGHT 16
Cal's back at the bar, sipping on his drink. He looks
absolutely exhausted. He looks across the bar.
At his usual table, Jacob is now wooing a NEW WOMAN.
Cal shakes his head, amazed at this guy's chutzpah. A
GUY grabs the open bar stool next to Cal. Cal reacts.
CAL
Oh, no, I'm sorry, I'm waiting for
a friend.
GUY
You've been holding the seat for
an hour.
CAL
(TOO LOUD)
Yeah, well, my wife is screwing
David Jacobowitz so eat me.
The guy shrugs, walks away. Cal looks at his watch, puts
a napkin on his drink, and stands.
17 INT. BATHROOM - LATER 17
Cal pees. Jacob steps INTO FRAME in the adjacent urinal.
Cal does a friendly "I'm peeing next to you" nod. Then:
CAL
Can't help but notice that you're
always surrounded by women.
Multiple women.
Jacob doesn't even turn.
CAL
I'm getting divorced. Or, in the
process. Gonna be single again.
Nothing.
CAL
Any advice?
JACOB
Yeah.
(CONTINUED)
18.
17 CONTINUED: 17
Jacob zips, flushes, turns.
JACOB
Don't start conversations with
people while they're pissing.
He walks away, washes his hands, EXITS. A beat, then:
CAL
(TO HIMSELF)
So gay.
DISSOLVE TO:
18 INT. BAR - LATER 18
Cal's a few drinks in now. The door to the bar opens as
BERNIE (late 40s) rushes in. An oak tree of a man. He's
carrying a SHOPPING BAG.
BERNIE
Sorry I'm late, I had to pick
something up from Macy's.
CAL
Don't worry about it, here, sit,
I've been guarding this stool with
my life.
Bernie sits, looks uncomfortable.
CAL
It's good to see you, man. I've
called you a few times. It's been
a rough couple of days, obviously.
Nothing I could use more than my
old pal Bernie to unload on. Hey,
we should play racquetball, when's
the last time we played
racquetball?
BERNIE
Claire won't let me be friends
with you anymore.
Cal takes this in.
CAL
I'm sorry, what?
BERNIE
She said we had to choose between
you and Tracy. I chose you. She
said no.
(CONTINUED)
19.
18 CONTINUED: 18
He pulls a WRAPPED PACKAGE from the bag, hands it to Cal.
BERNIE
It's cologne.
CAL
Are you breaking up with me?
BERNIE
Claire's waiting in the car.
Um... there's a gift receipt in
there. Sorry.
Bernie stands, awkwardly. He pats Cal on the shoulder,
lingers a beat too long, then simply turns and EXITS.
Cal is left alone. He raises a finger at the Bartender.
CAL
Do you have anything with a worm
in it? Because I'd like a gallon
of that now.
ON JACOB
Legs crossed, martini in hand, he's been watching Cal get
dumped this whole time.
He PANS UP from Cal's feet. The white sneakers. Bad
navy blue dress socks. Dad khakis. An ill-fitting,
untucked, dress shirt. Half-lidded eyes. Rumpled hair.
Jacob shakes his head. Jesus Christ. He says something
to THE WOMAN who currently sits at the table. She nods,
gets up and walks away.
BACK TO CAL
As the Bartender pours him a second shot. He's now
showing pictures from his wallet to the Bartender.
CAL
This is my youngest, Molly. Her
two favorite things are High
School Musical and her mother. I
hate both of her two favorite
things.
A SHARP WHISTLE interrupts. Cal turns, sees Jacob.
Jacob motions for Cal to come over. Every move Jacob
makes is practiced, perfectly cool.
(CONTINUED)
20.
18 CONTINUED: (2) 18
Cal points at himself: "Me?" Jacob nods: "Yep." Cal
SHRUGS, stands, and wobbles over towards Jacob.
JACOB
Jacob Palmer.
CAL
CAL WEA--
JACOB
I'd like to buy you a drink, Cal.
CAL
I already have a drink.
JACOB
Let me buy you a drink, Cal.
CAL
Okay.
Jacob motions to the Bartender who NODS. Cal SITS.
CAL
My wife is cheating on me with --
JACOB
David Jacobowitz, yes, Cal, I've
heard. We've all heard. For the
last two nights, I've watched you
batter every poor soul in this bar
with your sad-sack loser sob
story.
Cal takes this in. He STANDS.
CAL
You know what, I don't need this
CRAP --
JACOB
Sit down, Cal.
CAL
Okay.
Cal sits. Jacob's that powerful. Cal's that drunk.
(CONTINUED)
21.
18 CONTINUED: (3) 18
JACOB
Cal, I'm going to make you an
offer, it's probably the best
offer you're ever going to get,
and you're extremely drunk, so
it's wildly important that you
don't answer until I've finished
and you've taken a few moments to
process what I'm saying. Do you
understand?
Cal goes to answer, Jacob holds up a finger. Cal stops
himself. Once he's settled, Jacob continues:
JACOB
As I said, I've been watching you
for two days now and I can say,
without hesitation, that you are
the sorriest man I've ever seen in
my life -- don't interrupt, Cal,
it's the truth, and you need to
hear it. You're sitting there
with your Supercut haircut,
getting drunk on watered down
vodka-cranberries like a fourteen-
year-old girl, wearing a 41R
jacket when you should be wearing
a 40L -- I don't know if I want to
help you or euthanize you
-- stop drinking out of the
goddamn straw, Cal.
Cal stops drinking from the wimpy red straw.
JACOB
You asked me for advice before,
Cal, so I'm going to help you. I
don't know why. Maybe I'm just
bored. Maybe all my friends have
abandoned me for wives and
children and labradoodle puppies,
who cares why? Why doesn't
matter. The point is, you've got
a good face, and a good head of
hair, and I'm bored as hell and
need a project. So if you want,
I'm going to help you rediscover
your manhood. Do you remember
when it was that you lost it?
Cal shakes "no."
(CONTINUED)
22.
18 CONTINUED: (4) 18
JACOB
Doesn't matter, we'll find it.
And when we do, when I'm through
with you, that wife of yours is
going to rue the day she decided
to give up on you too early.
That's my offer. What do you say?
Cal stares at him blankly. A long beat of silence. Cal
goes for a drink, almost uses the straw... then catches
himself. He puts down the drink. Looks up.
CAL
Yeah, okay.
JACOB
Mall food court, Thursday, six
o'clock.
CAL
I'm sorry, what?
Jacob downs his drink, nods at THE WOMAN (now nearby).
JACOB
You ready to go?
She nods, subservient, and follows him out.
Cal shakes his head, picks up his drink, and slurps the
rest of his vodka cranberry out of the straw.
19 EXT. THE WEAVER BACKYARD - DAY (ONE WEEK LATER) 19
A well-maintained yard, bordered by shrubs and bushes. A
long driveway runs parallel to the yard. A medium-sized
U-HAUL is parked in the driveway.
Cal EXITS the back door, carrying a BOX. He loads it
into the U-haul and takes a last look back at:
HIS BACKYARD
A weathered playground sits off to the side. You can
tell it hasn't been used in quite some time. Baseball
equipment lays all over, the site of many father-son
catches. An oft-used barbecue next to the house.
You can tell a lot about this family from seeing this
backyard. You like this family a lot from seeing this
backyard.
(CONTINUED)
23.
19 CONTINUED: 19
TRACY (O.S.)
Cal?
Cal looks up. Tracy approaches. She's wearing sweats.
It's pretty obvious that she's been crying. Awkward
silence. Neither knows what to say.
TRACY
I just wanted to say that...
Her voice cracks. She turns away.
TRACY
Shit.
She gathers herself. Cal steps forward. Instinct tells
him to comfort his wife but he can't anymore and he stops
himself. She realizes this. There's something harsh and
complicated about the reality of it all.
Tracy looks at the U-HAUL, wipes her eyes and tries to
lighten things.
TRACY
Do you want me to back that thing
out of the driveway for you?
CAL
I'll be fine.
TRACY
You have trouble in reverse is
all.
CAL
It was two times --
TRACY
Three if you count my father's
foot.
CAL
I did that on purpose.
TRACY
I knew it.
They smile, in rhythm for a moment. Then they realize,
stop smiling. Cal turns awkwardly.
CAL
Once I'm settled, I'll get the
kids so they can see the place.
He walks to the truck. Tracy's voice stops him.
(CONTINUED)
24.
19 CONTINUED: (2) 19
TRACY
I think I'm have a mid-life crisis
maybe. Can women have mid-life
crisis?
CAL
(AVOIDING ENGAGEMENT)
Make sure the lawn gets enough
water.
TRACY
In the movies it's always men
having them and buying ridiculous
yellow Porsches, but I'm not a man
and I really don't want a yellow
PORSCHE --
CAL
You have to fertilize once a
month. Not twice a month, not
once every two months.
She takes a deep breath, finding her balance.
TRACY
We got married so young, Cal. And
I'm forty-one. And that's so much
older than I thought I'd be.
CAL
The sprinklers turn off behind
you.
TRACY
And I got really upset with an
umpire at Molly's t-ball game last
month -- like really upset, like I
screamed at him and wished he
would die -- and I started feeling
like the person I promised I
wouldn't turn into, you know?
CAL
If it rains a lot, you need to
shut off the automatic setting.
TRACY
And we haven't been us, not for a
long time. And I don't know when
you and I stopped being `us'
but... I mean, do you?
Cal finally turns and looks at her.
(CONTINUED)
25.
19 CONTINUED: (3) 19
CAL
I think it was when you screwed
David Jacobowitz.
Ouch. Tracy's face registers the blow, but she nods:
she also understands it.
CAL
Make sure my azaleas get enough
sun.
Cal turns, gets in the U-HAUL, and backs out...
And immediately crashes into the neighboring FENCE.
20 INT. CORPORATE APARTMENT - EVENING 20
Cal leads in Molly and Robbie.
CAL
Okay, well, this is it. What do
you think? Didn't have a lot of
time to house-hunt, but...
They look around his depressing, beige apartment. A
pathetic TV plays the Disney Channel in the corner.
CAL
There's a second bedroom with twin
beds so you two can stay over
whenever you want! Anytime!
ROBBIE
So... you're like, actually going
to live here?
Molly looks like she's going to cry.
CAL
Hey, hey. Come on now, you'll
visit all the time. Every
weekend. It won't be that bad.
MOLLY
Don't you love us anymore?
Cal takes Molly's face in his hands, starts tearing up.
CAL
Listen, baby. What's happening
with your mommy and I... it's not
what either of us wanted, not what
either of us planned.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
26.
20 CONTINUED: 20
CAL (CONT'D)
But you need to understand that
you kids have done nothing wron--
MOLLY
TROY!
She bolts past Cal to the TV, where ZAC EFRON is on-
screen, prancing about in a basketball uniform. Robbie
and Cal stand there, awkwardly.
ROBBIE
Don't take it personally. That
show's like crack to her.
Cal NODS.
ROBBIE
You okay?
CAL
You?
Robbie shrugs.
ROBBIE
Can I say something with a curse?
One time?
CAL
Yeah. Why not?
Robbie NODS, takes a deep breath.
ROBBIE
Love is fucked.
Cal LAUGHS, a bit of tension relieved.
CAL
Is that so? You in love, buddy?
ROBBIE
Well, if you must know --
JESSICA (O.S.)
Ding dong.
They turn -- it's Jessica, the baby-sitter.
ROBBIE
What is she doing here?
CAL
Oh, right, hey, Jess, thanks for
COMING --
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
27.
20 CONTINUED: (2) 20
CAL (CONT'D)
(back to Robbie)
I have to run out really quickly,
just for a few hours, and your
mother wants you to stay here
while she's out hooking --
ROBBIE
What?
CAL
Huh?
JESSICA
(CHANGING TOPICS)
The place is... nice, Mr. Weaver.
CAL
Yes, well, that's a generous
adjective, thank you.
(TO ROBBIE)
Anyhow, Jess is gonna keep an eye
on you guys for a few.
ROBBIE
But I don't need a babysitter!
She's only four years older than
me! You need to know that! She
needs to know that!
CAL
I know, buddy.
Cal musses Robbie's hair.
CAL
My little boy's growing up, Jess.
He's in love already, can you
believe it?
Uch. Robbie thumps the wall with his head, dying.
CAL
Molly, say bye-bye to Daddy?
No response, she's glued to the television.
ROBBIE
Wait, where are you going?
CAL
I'm, uh... I decided to take a
class.
(CONTINUED)
28.
20 CONTINUED: (3) 20
JESSICA
That's great, Mr. Weaver. It's a
difficult time for you, it's
important that you find new
interests, try new things, maybe
things you'd never have considered
trying before...
Cal looks down, Jessica has her hand on his shoulder.
It's a bit odd. She realizes, takes it off.
CAL
Okay, well... Molly, last chance!?
But Molly is still locked on Efron.
CAL
That's my angel. Back in a few.
ROBBIE
But, Dad --
CAL
Nope.
The door slams. Robbie stands there with Jessica,
awkward. Tries to maintain some semblance of cool.
ROBBIE
I don't need a baby-sitter.
JESSICA
I know, Robbie.
An awkward beat, then.
ROBBIE
I love you so much --
JESSICA
Jesus Christ.
21 EXT. SHOPPING MALL - CONTINUOUS ACTION 21
Cal pulls into the parking lot, grabs a space.
CAL
What am I doing?
22 INT. SHOPPING MALL - CONTINUOUS ACTION 22
He ENTERS, still going.
(CONTINUED)
29.
22 CONTINUED: 22
CAL
What the hell am I doing?
He walks past a CHEESECAKE FACTORY. Inside is...
Hannah (girl from the bar who Jacob tried picking up).
23 INT. CHEESECAKE FACTORY - CONTINUOUS ACTION 23
She's sitting at a table with Liz (her friend) and a
GROUP OF REALLY BORING WHITE PEOPLE in suits. There are
SMALL GIFTS in front of Hannah.
Holding her hand is an average guy (33), her boyfriend,
RICHARD. We PICK UP mid-conversation.
RICHARD
I think you're wrong. I think
that's Tucker.
WHITE MAN
No, no, no. Chris Rock is the
stand-up comedian. Chris Tucker
is the actor.
WHITE WOMAN
Is it racist that I can't tell
them apart?
Liz nods her head "yes" at Hannah. Hannah stifles a
LAUGH. Liz stands.
LIZ
Well, Richard: thank you for
inviting me to Hannah's `goodbye'
party. The conversation has been
riveting, like stepping back in
time. Before I go, a toast.
She holds up her glass, toasting.
LIZ
Sweetie: go into your hole and
study your cute little ass off for
that bar exam. We'll see you when
you emerge.
RICHARD
She's gonna kick that bar's butt!
All the dorks CHEER. Liz SHRUGS.
LIZ
Yeah, okay.
(CONTINUED)
30.
23 CONTINUED: 23
Liz CHUGS her drink, turns to Hannah.
HANNAH
(SMILING)
I'll walk you out.
Before they clear...
RICHARD
Hey, Liz? When my girl passes,
we're gonna have another little
celebration, right here. Hope you
can make it. It's going to be a
special night.
LIZ
Richard, you just give me a heads-
up so I can get really drunk
before-hand, okay?
RICHARD
You know it!
Hannah leads Liz out of the restaurant, WHISPERS:
HANNAH
Did you hear that? `It's going to
be a special night.' You think
he's going to propose?
LIZ
At the Cheesecake Factory? Oh
God, I hope not.
(THEN)
Why? Do you really want him to?
Hannah SHRUGS.
HANNAH
He's nice.
LIZ
Yeah, well... Jesus. Really?
(with a shrug)
Okay. Not my life, I love you,
call me if you need anything.
Liz KISSES her goodbye, EXITS. Hannah looks at her
table. Everyone is typing on their BLACKBERRIES.
She SIGHS, heads to rejoin them.
31.
24 INT. FOOD COURT 24
Meanwhile, Cal sees Jacob, standing against a pole in the
food court. Jacob is eating pizza, cool as ever.
JACOB
You're late.
(then, offering)
Sbarro's?
CAL
No thanks. So what exactly are
WE --
JACOB
How much money can you afford to
spend on clothes today?
CAL
I dunno. Five hundred?
JACOB
Three thousand.
CAL
Okay.
JACOB
We'll start with shoes. Let me
see those sneakers you're wearing.
Cal holds up his foot.
JACOB
Take them off.
Cal bends down, takes one off.
JACOB
(CHEWING)
Other one too, please?
Cal does as he's told. Jacob holds out his hands. Cal
SHRUGS, hands Jacob the shoes.
Jacob simply turns and throws them over the railing.
CAL
What the hell!?
JACOB
Are you in a fraternity, Cal?
CAL
Those were my favorite shoes.
(CONTINUED)
32.
24 CONTINUED: 24
JACOB
ARE YOU IN A FRATERNITY, CAL!?
CAL
No.
JACOB
Are you Steve Jobs?
CAL
What?
JACOB
ARE YOU THE BILLIONAIRE OWNER OF
APPLE COMPUTERS?
CAL
No. I'm not Steve Jobs.
JACOB
Then you don't need to walk around
in New Balance Sneaker, ever.
Let's go.
25 INT. SHOE STORE - CONTINUOUS ACTION 25
Cal (barefoot) follows Jacob around the store.
CAL
I think this whole thing might
have been a bad idea.
Jacob ignores him, grabs a pair of BLACK DRESS SHOES.
JACOB
Any man can rebuild his entire
wardrobe with sixteen simple
items.
CAL
Ha! I think I read that in GQ.
JACOB
You did. I wrote it.
CAL
Really?
Jacob CHUCKLES. Cal CHUCKLES back, clearly unsure what
the chuckle symbolizes.
JACOB
Numbers one and two: pair of
dress shoes, pair of loafers.
(CONTINUED)
33.
25 CONTINUED: 25
Cal is looking at a pair of ARGYLE SOCKS.
CAL
I'm sorry, I'm lost: do you
really write for GQ?
Jacob slaps Cal's hand, knocking the socks away.
JACOB
Your credit card please?
MONTAGE - FROM STORE TO STORE
We watch as Jacob narrates the wardrobe essentials (and
as Cal's arms get progressively fuller) in each store.
26 IN A SUIT STORE 26
Cal gets fitted.
JACOB (V.O.)
Two suits: one black, one grey.
One sports jacket, navy preferred.
Jacob leans in toward the tailor.
JACOB
Take it in there... and there.
27 AT ANOTHER STORE 27
Cal holds jeans in front of him, eyes them suspiciously.
JACOB (V.O.)
One pair of quality jeans.
CAL
These are two hundred and thirty
dollars. Can't we just go to the
Gap?
He looks up. Jacob is gone.
SMASH CUT TO:
28 EXT. MALL - MOMENTS LATER 28
Cal runs outside. Jacob is already halfway to the car.
CAL
I'm sorry! Don't leave!
(CONTINUED)
34.
28 CONTINUED: 28
Jacob immediately heads back inside and answers:
JACOB
No, Cal. We can't just go to the
Gap.
CAL
What's wrong with the Gap?
JACOB
In Hell, every store is the Gap,
that's what's wrong with the Gap,
Cal. It's lowest common
denominator. Be better than the
fucking Gap, Cal.
29 IN A NEW STORE 29
Jacob holds up a pair of beige slacks.
JACOB (V.O.)
One pair of chinos.
CHING. A cash register DINGS.
JACOB (V.O.)
Four dress shirts.
CHING. CHING. CHING. CHING. Cal's arms are filling.
JACOB (V.O.)
Three casual button-downs.
CHING. CHING. CHING. In a dressing room shirts come
flying over the wall at Cal.
30 A NEW STORE 30
Cal struggles to get a sweater over his neck.
JACOB (V.O.)
Two v-neck cashmere sweaters, and
finally, a long overcoat.
Cal stands there in an overcoat and sweater.
CAL
I'm very warm.
31 IN A BEAUTY SUPPLY STORE 31
Jacob leads Cal through the store. He tosses him a TUBE.
(CONTINUED)
35.
31 CONTINUED: 31
JACOB
You rub this in around your eyes
every night and every morning.
CAL
What does it do?
JACOB
(SARCASTIC)
It gives you x-ray vision, Cal.
(THEN)
It tightens things up. The skin
around your eyes looks like Milton
Berle's ballsack.
Cal stops, examines his eyes in a mirror.
CAL
Oh my God, it does.
32 IN A SALON 32
Cal is getting his hair cut at a fancy salon. The
HAIRDRESSER is young, hip, and beautiful.
CAL
I like to use a number four on the
sides and the back, go longer on
the top.
JACOB
Oh, okay. Thanks for that, Vidal
Sassoon. Tiffany, hon? Scissor
cut, tight on sides, get him some
texture up top, take off about...
He touches Cal's hair, measures it between his fingers.
CAL
Eww.
JACOB
... inch off the top.
TIFFANY
Yes, sir.
CAL
BUT --
Tiffany starts chopping.
36.
33 INT. SALON - LATER 33
Jacob and Tiffany wait for Cal (inside a changing room).
JACOB
What are you putting on?
CAL (O.S.)
Items one, three, eleven, and
fourteen.
JACOB
Perfect.
(then, to Tiffany)
You smell great by the way.
TIFFANY
(SMITTEN)
Thanks.
JACOB
What are you doing tonight?
TIFFANY
I don't know.
JACOB
That's okay, I do.
She GIGGLES. Cal calls out.
CAL (O.S.)
Seriously? You just ask her out
like that?
JACOB
Yes, Cal, just like that.
CAL (O.S.)
And it works?
JACOB TIFFANY
Yes. Yes.
CAL (O.S.)
Crazy.
(THEN)
Okay, I feel kind of stupid but...
The DRESSING ROOM DOOR opens. We TILT UP... FROM
expensive shoes, TO pants, TO fitted sweater over a
fitted shirt and bright tie. The new haircut...
A new man. He looks... unbelievable.
(CONTINUED)
37.
33 CONTINUED: 33
TIFFANY
Wow.
JACOB
Yep.
CAL
Can I blouse out the shirt a
little? I like to blouse out my
shirts a little.
JACOB
Shut up, Cal.
(TO TIFFANY)
You'd fuck him, right?
CAL
(HORRIFIED)
Jesus!
TIFFANY
Yeah, probably.
CAL
Tiffany!
(then, realizing)
You would!?
Tiffany SHRUGS.
JACOB
You see that, Cal? The simple act
of opening your mouth instantly
causes Tiffany to lose interest in
sleeping with you. Your
personality is actually your
weakest link.
Cal takes this in.
CAL
Well, that's the meanest thing
anyone's ever said to me.
JACOB
No, Cal. The meanest thing
anyone's ever said to you is this:
your wife cheated on you because
you lost sight of what it took to
keep her content at home -- as a
man, as a husband, and probably as
a lover.
Cal's lower lip begins to quiver.
(CONTINUED)
38.
33 CONTINUED: (2) 33
CAL
Yeah, okay, that was meaner.
CUT TO:
34 INT. BAR - NEXT NIGHT 34
Cal sits next to Jacob. Cal is wearing his new "outfit."
He looks great, but not yet comfortable in his new
"gear."
Jacob, on the other hand, looks like he's walked out of a
men's magazine. And he knows it. Cal looks at Jacob.
CAL
I notice you only button your
shirts up, like, halfway. I can't
pull that off, right?
JACOB
No. Listen, Cal, I'm going to be
calling women over to our table
shortly.
Cal rubs his hands together, nervous.
CAL
We should have some background on
each other, no? I'm in insurance,
more on the corporate side. My
kids are --
JACOB
Cal, the only thing I care less
about than corporate insurance are
your kids. Here's the only thing
I need to know: how many women
have you been with?
CAL
Sexually?
JACOB
Yes.
CAL
In my entire life?
JACOB
No, synchronized swimming. Yes,
Cal. Sexually.
Cal thinks. He MUMBLES to himself, counting it out on
one hand.
(CONTINUED)
39.
34 CONTINUED: 34
He smiles at Jacob proudly when he has to move the count
to a second hand. Then:
CAL
One.
Jacob CHORTLES. But Cal just stares at him blankly.
JACOB
Wow, okay... wow.
(then, checking)
Not at a time? Total?
CAL
What? I married young. We met in
high school.
He smiles, remembering.
CAL
Tracy was so damn beautiful. You
know those women, the ones who can
be wildly sexy and unbelievably
cute all at once? I never knew
how she did that. I still don't
know how she does it.
(THEN)
Anyway, we had a bit of a hiccup
our senior year but we made it --
JACOB
Cal, I literally stopped listening
at `Tracy.' Okay, here we go.
CAL
(a bit emotional)
I miss my wife.
JACOB
Shut up, Cal.
A YOUNG WOMAN slides into the booth at Jacob's side.
YOUNG WOMAN
Hi.
JACOB
Hi. Jacob Palmer.
YOUNG WOMAN
Amy Johnson.
Cal extends his hand.
(CONTINUED)
40.
34 CONTINUED: (2) 34
CAL
CAL --
JACOB
(QUICKLY)
Don't.
He pulls it back.
CAL
(TO HIMSELF)
-- Weaver.
JACOB
Can I get you a drink, Amy?
CUT TO:
35 A DRINK 35
gets handed over to: a NEW GIRL, on a NEW NIGHT.
JACOB
Tell me about yourself. What do
you do?
NEW GIRL
Does it really matter?
JACOB
It does to me.
She looks up. He looks completely earnest, repeats:
JACOB
It does to me.
She smiles.
PAN TO CAL: just sitting there watching, horrified.
36 BACK TO JACOB 36
Now with NEWER GIRL.
NEWER GIRL
And that's when I started writing
the column for LA Weekly. God,
how long have I been talking?
Jacob takes her hand.
(CONTINUED)
41.
36 CONTINUED: 36
JACOB
Listen, I'm going to be honest:
it's getting late and I think
you're interesting. I also think
you're one of those rare women who
manages to be both wildly sexy and
incredibly cute all at once.
ON CAL
Mouth agape. That was his line!
ON JACOB
JACOB
Let's get out of here. I know
it's forward of me but just... I
think we should get out of here.
She thinks, then NODS.
NEWER GIRL
Okay.
FLASH CUT TO:
37 THE SECOND GIRL 37
JACOB
I think we should get out of here.
NEW GIRL
Okay.
FLASH CUT TO:
38 THE FIRST GIRL 38
JACOB
I think we should get out of here.
FIRST GIRL
Okay.
38A BACK TO CAL 38A
waving goodbye awkwardly as Jacob leaves with each of the
girls (IN QUICK CUTS). Finally:
(CONTINUED)
42.
38A CONTINUED: 38A
Cal just sits there, completely alone. But then A PRETTY
GIRL arrives at his table. Cal looks up, smiles. She
smiles back, then:
She drops THE BILL on the table. She's a waitress. And
he's been left with the tab.
CUT TO:
39 INT. CLASSROOM - AFTERNOON (ONE WEEK LATER) 39
ON THE BLACKBOARD: "SCARLET LETTER, THEMES."
Robbie Weaver sits at his 8th grade desk. In the b.g.,
we hear a FEMALE TEACHER drone on about The Scarlet
Letter. Under his desk, Robbie is TEXTING.
INTERCUT WITH:
40 INT. HIGH SCHOOL - HALLWAY - JESSICA 40
receiving the text.
ON THE CELL PHONE SCREEN
The text: "Hi, Jessica. FYI: Demi Moore is 15 yrs
older than Ashton K. They seem really happy. Love,
Robbie."
Her phone BEEPS with a NEW TEXT: "P.S. did you know Demi
Moore starred in the movie version of The Scarlet
Letter?"
Her phone BEEPS a third time: "She shows boob :-)"
She SIGHS.
41 BACK TO ROBBIE 41
Pleased with himself. The FEMALE TEACHER drones on in
the b.g.
TEACHER (O.S.)
While Hester is forced to wear a
scarlet `A' as punishment for
adultery, Reverend Dimmesdale's
`A' is self-inflicted --
Robbie's PHONE BEEPS. A "NEW MESSAGE." Robbie smiles.
(CONTINUED)
43.
41 CONTINUED: 41
ON THE CELL PHONE SCREEN
The text: "Robbie: please stop. U r making me very
uncomfortable."
BACK TO SCENE
Robbie stares at the screen, crestfallen.
TEACHER (O.S.)
Mr. Weaver? Are we interrupting?
Robbie looks up: the WHOLE CLASS is staring at him.
TEACHER (O.S.)
Mr. Weaver!
Slowly, Robbie stands. We HEAD IN TIGHT ON him.
ROBBIE
You want to talk about The Scarlet
Letter, Mrs. Thompson? Here you
go: the `A' they're both wearing
-- I think it stands for ASSHOLE.
Wanna know why? Because they're
in love, and love is for stupid
ASSHOLES. So thanks for choosing
this book, Mrs. Thompson, because
this is what I need right now: to
read a boring, confusing book
about a bunch of stupid assholes
who fell in love, like assholes,
and then had to die, like
assholes. I'm sorry for cursing.
CUT TO:
42 INT. TRACY'S OFFICE - LATER 42
Tracy works at her desk. A KNOCK at her door interrupts.
A TALL MAN (40's) stands there: DAVID JACOBOWITZ.
DAVID JACOBOWITZ
You have a second?
TRACY
Oh, David. I'm just a little
swamped right now so...
He closes the door behind him.
DAVID JACOBOWITZ
You've been avoiding me.
(CONTINUED)
44.
42 CONTINUED: 42
TRACY
No, I haven't.
DAVID JACOBOWITZ
You ran away in the other
direction when you saw me coming
down the hall yesterday.
(BEAT)
You're very fast by the way.
She SIGHS, gives up.
TRACY
I ran track in high school.
DAVID JACOBOWITZ
That must be it.
He turns serious.
DAVID JACOBOWITZ
I'm sorry about you and Cal.
TRACY
Thank you.
DAVID JACOBOWITZ
I'm also not sorry, if I'm being
completely honest.
(GATHERING HIMSELF)
I want to make sure you know how
much I like you.
TRACY
No, I do --
DAVID JACOBOWITZ
A lot. Just to clarify. I like
you a lot. I had no intention of
falling for a married woman. I
just wanted someone to go to lunch
with who didn't make me want to
shoot myself in the face. But we
started having lunch, and talking,
and suddenly I was an accountant
who was popping out of bed in the
morning, excited to get to work.
That doesn't happen to
accountants. Ever. I've checked
with other accountants.
She smiles.
(CONTINUED)
45.
42 CONTINUED: (2) 42
DAVID JACOBOWITZ
So when the time is right for you
to get back out there again,
officially, I just... I'd like to
throw my hat in the ring.
Officially. That sounded weird.
Tracy LAUGHS lightly, leans forward.
TRACY
David, you've been a great friend
to me. And you were the first man
in a very long time to make me
feel... noticed, I guess? What
happened between us that night...
it meant something to me. You
weren't the only one excited to
come to work lately.
David smiles.
TRACY
But now, when I see you, all I see
is his face. All I see when I
look at you is what I did to my
marriage.
She's losing it, wipes her eyes.
TRACY
You see this? I'm saving you from
disaster, David, `cause you're
asking to pre-board the Titanic.
Honestly, do you really want any
part of this?
Before he can answer... BUZZ! It's Tracy's phone.
ASSISTANT (V.O.)
Your son's school on two.
Tracy quickly picks up phone. As she talks, David
scribbles something on a postcard, EXITS.
TRACY
(INTO PHONE)
Right, okay. No, I understand.
Of course, right away.
She HANGS UP, looks at the Post-It. It reads, simply:
"Yes." Tracy looks up, but David is gone.
46.
43 INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE WAITING ROOM - LATER 43
Robbie sits, waiting. Tracy EMERGES.
TRACY
(calling back in)
Yes, of course. Absolutely,
Principal Sapienza, it won't
happen again.
She closes the door behind her, looks to Robbie.
TRACY
Seriously?
ROBBIE
Sorry.
She SIGHS.
TRACY
It's been a rough couple of weeks,
you deserve a freebie. C'mon, I
have to get back to work.
They walk out together.
TRACY
They still make kids read The
Scarlet Letter, huh?
Robbie NODS.
TRACY
You'd really think someone would
have written something better by
now.
Robbie LAUGHS, the tension broken a bit.
44 INT. TRACY'S OFFICE - LATER 44
Robbie wheels around in an office chair as Tracy tries to
work behind her desk. He stops, noticing a PHOTO.
It's an older picture of CAL AND TRACY. They look happy.
Very much in love. Tracy notices.
TRACY
Guess I should take it down, huh?
ROBBIE
I guess.
(CONTINUED)
47.
44 CONTINUED: 44
Tracy NODS. She places the picture face down gently.
She tries to return to her work, but can't.
TRACY
How is he? I've spoken to him but
only about bills, or you kids,
but... how is he, really?
Robbie hesitates.
TRACY
Sorry, that's unfair. Ignore me,
I'm almost done here.
She turns back to her work. After a beat:
ROBBIE
He's dressing a lot better. Going
out a lot.
TRACY
Oh. Well, good. That's... really
good.
(then, covering)
We'll get take-out for dinner
tonight, okay? Think about what
you're in the mood for.
Robbie hesitates, then adds:
ROBBIE
He's sad. He looks better, but...
sadder, too, I think. You know?
TRACY
Yeah. I guess I'm pretty sad,
too.
ROBBIE
I know.
TRACY
You do?
ROBBIE
I heard you crying the other night
and... I didn't know what to do.
I'm thirteen years old and... can
you just tell me what I'm supposed
to do in that situation? I didn't
want to Google it.
She smiles, shakes her head.
(CONTINUED)
48.
44 CONTINUED: (2) 44
TRACY
Oh God, baby, you're so much like
me it's scary. You wound up with
all my stuff, Robbie. I'm so
sorry.
ROBBIE
I'm okay with being like you, Mom.
I like you.
She puts down her pen. Smiles sadly at Robbie.
TRACY
It's my fault, what happened with
your father. It's grown-up stuff
that I can't talk about but...
it's my fault. Not his. So
just... be good to him, okay?
ROBBIE
It'll be okay, Mom.
TRACY
(EMOTIONAL)
You promise?
He NODS, the most soulful thirteen-year-old ever.
DAVID JACOBOWITZ (O.S.)
Hey, they need you in the
conference room for a sec... oh,
sorry.
They look up. It's David. Tracy gathers herself,
stands.
TRACY
David, this is my son, Robbie.
Robbie, this is David.
(FORCED)
We work together.
Robbie takes him in, shakes his hand.
TRACY
I'll be right back, okay, honey?
ROBBIE DAVID
Okay. Okay.
Awkward. Really awkward. Tracy starts to say something,
thinks better of it, and EXITS.
David moves into the room, sits down opposite Robbie.
(CONTINUED)
49.
44 CONTINUED: (3) 44
DAVID JACOBOWITZ
So, Robbie... I hear you're quite
the soccer player.
ROBBIE
So, David... I hear you broke up
my parents' marriage.
He LAUGHS awkwardly, shocked.
ROBBIE
You are David Jacobowitz, right?
From accounting?
DAVID JACOBOWITZ
Um, yes I am --
ROBBIE
Here's the thing, David: in the
end, she winds up back with my
dad. He's better than you, in
every category except probably
math. And she still loves him.
Robbie props the PHOTO of Tracy and Cal back up.
DAVID JACOBOWITZ
Listen, Robbie --
ROBBIE
Now I know what you're thinking:
`he's just in 8th grade, what does
he know about love?' I know a lot
more than you think, David. Just
today, I had a meltdown, almost
gave up on the love of my life.
My dad's having his meltdown now,
but long-term? He won't stop
fighting for my mom any more than
I won't stop sending Jessica texts
that make her uncomfortable. And
you need to know that.
Tracy RE-ENTERS.
TRACY
You ready to go?
ROBBIE
(SUDDENLY SWEET)
Mommy, can we do Chinese for
dinner tonight?
(CONTINUED)
50.
44 CONTINUED: (4) 44
Tracy waves to David as she and Robbie EXIT, leaving him
stunned in the middle of her office, staring at:
THE PHOTO OF CAL AND TRACY that Robbie has left directly
in his line of sight.
CUT TO:
45 EXT. THE WEAVER BACKYARD - LATE EVENING 45
Bushes rustle. Once, then twice. It's Cal, sneaking
into the backyard. He takes a covert look inside the
house. All is quiet. He gets to work.
-- He spreads FERTILIZER on the grass.
-- Trims some bushes.
-- Picks off some petals from some dying flowers.
It's the strangest goddamn thing you've ever seen.
Finally, he finishes.
ON CAL
Content. His yard may not be his anymore, but it's back
in order. As he takes it all in...
A LIGHT pops on.
Cal DIVES into a SHRUB.
46 INT. BAR - THAT NIGHT 46
Another night at the bar: Cal's in his position, Jacob
in his. Cal sips his drink, staring aimlessly forward.
Jacob looks at Cal. Cal looks great, more comfortable in
his new "skin" than when we left him. He's drinking a
martini, rather than a red-strawed vodka cranberry.
A WAITRESS passes. Without speaking, Cal taps the rim of
the glass, silently requesting a refill. It's a cool,
practiced move... and he did it instinctively.
Jacob smiles, leans forward.
JACOB
I think you're ready, Cal.
CAL
For what?
(CONTINUED)
51.
46 CONTINUED: 46
JACOB
To talk to a woman, take a woman
home.
CAL
Oh, no. No, I'm not.
JACOB
You've been watching me do it for
two weeks.
CAL
Yeah, well, I've been watching
LeBron James for years, doesn't
mean I can suddenly dunk a
basketball.
JACOB
Cal, do you remember the part in
Karate Kid, where Mr. Miagi keeps
having the kid wax the car and the
kid gets all bent out of shape
because he doesn't see the point,
but the movements were actually
building blocks for throwing and
blocking punches?
CAL
Oh God. Are you going to make me
fight someone?
Jacob stretches his neck, trying his patience:
JACOB
Cal, what's the first thing I do
when a woman sits down?
CAL
You ask if you can buy her a
drink.
JACOB
And what if she says no?
CAL
You order her a drink anyway, let
it sit there.
JACOB
When she asks me a question about
myself?
(CONTINUED)
52.
46 CONTINUED: (2) 46
CAL
You deflect it back to her. You
never answer questions about
yourself.
JACOB
And what happens?
CAL
They talk about themselves. A
lot.
JACOB
And what do I do?
CAL
You act really interested. You
nod a lot.
JACOB
And at the end of the night?
CAL
You compliment them, then you ask
if they'd like to come back to
your place.
JACOB
Do I ask?
CAL
No. You confidently tell them
you'd like them to come back to
your place.
(THEN)
Holy shit! You Mr. Miagi'd me!
Jacob BOWS to Cal, Japanese style. A PRETTY WOMAN stands
near their table. Jacob stands, smiles.
JACOB
Oh, and no talking about your job,
your children, your pathetic
sexual history, or David
Jacobowitz. Okay, here we go...
CAL
What, no, I'm not ready for --
(then, to woman)
Hi!
Jacob has pulled her over. She's attractive, mid-
thirties.
(CONTINUED)
53.
46 CONTINUED: (3) 46
JACOB
Cal, this is Kate. Kate, Cal.
Jacob NODS at Cal ("you've got this") and leaves them.
Kate SITS. Cal smiles at Kate, nervous. She smiles
back. Cal MOTIONS for a waitress in the distance.
CAL
Can I buy you a drink, Kate?
KATE (PRETTY WOMAN)
Oh. No thank you.
Cal smiles, portrays confidence.
CAL
I'm buying you a drink anyway,
Kate, so you might as well tell me
what you want.
KATE
Really, thank you but it's okay.
CAL
I'm guessing you're a vodka girl,
am I right? Yeah? A nice dirty
martini? No, no, no: a Grey
Goose, rocks, extra lime? C'mon,
one drink! Picture those ice
cubes clinking together. Mmmm.
Can't you taste it?
She smiles.
KATE
Yes, I can but... I'm, uh, five
years sober so...
Cal's face drops. The WAITRESS approaches.
WAITRESS
What can I get --
CAL
Nothing. We don't want anything.
Don't come back here ever.
The Waitress leaves, confused. Kate looks around,
uncomfortable. She tries small-talk.
KATE
So... what do you do, Cal?
CAL
What do you do, Kate?
(CONTINUED)
54.
46 CONTINUED: (4) 46
KATE
I asked you first.
CAL
I asked you second.
She LAUGHS lightly, thinks he's being funny.
KATE
Seriously, what do you do?
CAL
Seriously, what do you do?
Now it's getting a little weird.
KATE
I'm a teacher. Now, c'mon: what
do you do?
Cal NODS, exaggerated.
CAL
Teacher. Interesting. I'm very
interested in teaching.
KATE
I'm sorry, are you not going to
tell me what you do?
He's still nodding, as if fascinated.
CAL
A teacher with an alcohol
dependency no less, I bet that's
actually more common than people
realize...
KATE
I should get back to my friends --
Kate STANDS. Cal puts his face in his hands.
CAL
I'm sorry! I'm supposed to
deflect your questions... oh screw
it: I'm in corporate insurance.
And I have children. Plural.
More than one. The only thing I
have ONE of, is sexual partners,
that would be the woman I recently
separated from because she was
cheating on me with David
Jacobowitz who I wasn't supposed
to tell you about either.
(CONTINUED)
55.
46 CONTINUED: (5) 46
Kate turns back, curious.
KATE
What were you supposed to tell me?
CAL
I don't know: that you're a
perfect combination of sexy and
cute -- it was something I said
about my wife that's since been
corrupted. But I'm tired, and I'm
at least fifteen years older than
you, and this sweater is called
slim fitting but it's really just
uncomfortable and itchy.
KATE
You think I'm a perfect
combination of sexy and cute?
Cal looks up.
CAL
That's what you took away from
that?
She smiles, sits back down.
KATE
Wow, an actual honest man. I
don't know what to do with that.
It's kind of... rare around here.
(THEN)
It's nice, actually.
CAL
It is?
KATE
You have no idea. I'm kind of a
magnet for these jerk-offs. They
charm me, and I fall for it, and
at some point they just... never
call me again.
CAL
(GENUINE)
I don't understand. Look at you.
Who wouldn't call you again?
She looks up. It's not a line, it's a genuine
compliment. She smiles warmly. Holy shit, Cal is in!
(CONTINUED)
56.
46 CONTINUED: (6) 46
KATE
So... what were you `supposed' to
do next?
CAL
Well, eventually I'm `supposed' to
ask you if you want to get out of
here. Actually no, I'm supposed
to tell you, confidently, that you
should come home with me.
KATE
Why don't you give it a shot, see
what happens?
Cal looks up, surprised. He clears his throat, then:
CAL
You're very pretty, Kate. And I
can't tell if you're being
serious, but I think you should
come home with me.
KATE
(PLAYFUL)
Ask me again.
Cal smiles and leans forward, faux-confident.
CAL
I'm not asking you, Kate. I'm
telling you: you should come home
with me.
Kate looks up, genuinely turned-on.
CUE MUSIC: "SEXYBACK" by Justin Timberlake.
SMASH CUT TO:
47 INT. CORPORATE APARTMENT - LATER 47
Cal and Kate BARGE in, passionately kissing.
CAL
(gasping for breath)
This is my dumpy apartment that I
had to move into when I left my
wife.
(CONTINUED)
57.
47 CONTINUED: 47
KATE
(TURNED ON)
I love that you're being so
honest. It's so different, so
hot.
CAL
I've never been with a woman
besides my ex-wife.
KATE
More, tell me more.
CAL
I'm worried you have AIDS.
She stops.
CAL
Only a little.
She pushes him down on the couch, takes her sweater off.
She's wearing just a bra. She looks amazing.
KATE
What do you want to do with me?
CAL
Show you off to my wife to make
her jealous.
She GROWLS and dives on top of him as we launch:
48 CAL WEAVER'S "SEXYBACK" MONTAGE (THE NEXT FEW WEEKS) 48
-- The next morning a DISHEVELED CAL lets Kate out, gives
her a big passionate kiss, and closes the DOOR.
-- We STAY ON the DOOR. After a beat, it opens up: as
Cal bids farewell to a NEW GIRL on a new morning.
49 AT THE BAR 49
Cal strides in -- a skip in his step, a perfectly
tailored suit on his body. Everything's in SLOW MOTION.
He points at someone, winks at a waitress...
A SAD SACK GUY at the bar watches Cal stride by, jealous.
Cal Weaver has evolved into "the fucking man."
58.
50 SNAPSHOTS 50
MEANWHILE --
1) HANNAH studies late into the night for the bar. 2)
JESSICA reads magazine articles on "How to Make Him
Notice You." 3) TRACY eats ice cream in bed, alone. 4)
ROBBIE drags mysterious wood planks into his backyard.
But we're mainly with CAL...
51 BACK TO CAL'S APARTMENT 51
A NEW WOMAN EXITS. The door closes. It re-opens as he
kisses goodbye ANOTHER WOMAN!
52 BACK AT THE BAR -- CAL AND JACOB 52
are mid-conversation.
JACOB
... it would work!
CAL
You're out of your mind.
JACOB
What do college guys hate? Doing
laundry. What do they love?
Strippers. It's a strip club
where they can do their laundry.
CAL
It's ridiculous.
JACOB
And yours isn't? A candy store
that only sells red candy.
CAL
Everyone loves the cherry. Look,
I'm not rejecting the psuedo-
cherry flavors like raspberry or
strawberry, anything in the -erry
family is allowed. But let's be
real here: no one wants the
lemon. No one likes the grape.
JACOB
I like grape.
CAL
Well then you can't come to my
store.
(CONTINUED)
59.
52 CONTINUED: 52
They LAUGH, quickly becoming inseparable.
53 INT. SUBURBAN KITCHEN - EVENING 53
A late 40s couple eat dinner: BERNIE (the big guy who
"broke up" with Cal earlier) and CLAIRE, a bubbly little
woman -- the polar opposite of her husband.
CLAIRE
Oh, I almost forgot -- heard some
good gossip at the nail salon.
BERNIE
For God's sake, Claire.
CLAIRE
(SING-SONGY)
It's about Cal.
BERNIE
Leave the poor bastard alone,
would you? I gave him the cologne
like you told me to. We don't
have to dance on his grave.
VOICE (O.S.)
What did you hear about Mr.
Weaver, Mom?
PULL BACK -- JESSICA (THE BABYSITTER) SITS AT THE NEARBY
COUNTER, EATING NEXT TO HER LITTLE BROTHER (13).
CLAIRE
Apparently, Mr. Weaver has become
quite a man-about-town if you get
my drift.
JESSICA
What?
CLAIRE
Lots of young women coming in and
out of his apartment lately.
BERNIE
Claire, would you cut it out?
CLAIRE
It's good for Jess to know. She
still baby-sits for him after all.
(CONTINUED)
60.
53 CONTINUED: 53
BERNIE
Oh, c'mon! Enough.
CLAIRE
Well, it's good gossip at the
least. Ooh, guess what else I
heard...
As she CONTINUES CHATTERING in the b.g., we HOLD ON
Jessica. Thinking.
54 INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - NEXT DAY 54
Jessica waits at her LOCKER. She spots a TALL BLONDE
GIRL moving down the hallway, texting as she walks.
JESSICA
Madison! Madison, wait!
Madison stops walking, but not texting.
JESSICA
Hey, I had a question --
Madison holds up a finger ("one second") and continues
texting. Finally, she stops. Looks up. Smiles.
MADISON
Hey, Jessica, whassup?
JESSICA
I had a question for you, Madison.
It's kind of on the personal side
so...
MADISON
My lips are...
Madison extends her arms, begins clapping and making
WEIRD NOISES. Jessica stares at her blankly.
MADISON
(EXPLAINING)
Seals.
(THEN)
My lips are seals.
JESSICA
Oh, okay. So, Madison, here's the
thing... I don't mean to be blunt
or insulting but, let's call it
what it is: you're always
sleeping with older guys, right?
(CONTINUED)
61.
54 CONTINUED: 54
MADISON
(NODDING)
Always.
JESSICA
Lots of college guys, I've heard.
MADISON
Lots of them.
JESSICA
Even rumors about a few teachers.
MADISON
Totally.
JESSICA
So my question is: how do you do
that? I mean, how do you get them
not to see you as... well, a kid
in high school?
MADISON
Oh, well first off, I have a huge
rack.
JESSICA
You do, yes.
MADISON
So that helps.
JESSICA
Yes, I'm sure it does.
MADISON
You don't have a huge rack.
JESSICA
No, I don't unfortunately.
MADISON
So that's not gonna work.
JESSICA
Nope.
Madison SIGHS.
MADISON
Okay, here's what you do. Wait,
how old is he?
JESSICA
Old.
(CONTINUED)
62.
54 CONTINUED: (2) 54
MADISON
Like really old?
JESSICA
Like parent old.
MADISON
Nasty. Rock on, Jessica.
JESSICA
Thank you, Madison.
MADISON
Alright, you have to hook him.
Force his hand. Make him unable
to stop himself from doing what he
knows to be wrong.
JESSICA
How?
MADISON
Do what I do. Send him a postcard
from downtown.
JESSICA
Huh?
MADISON
Go TMZ on his ass.
JESSICA
I'm not following you, Madis--
MADISON
The full gyno.
Off Jessica's blank look.
MADISON
A crotch shot? A nip slip?
(THEN)
A dirty picture! You can even
Annie Leibowitz it. Tasteful but
with nipple. Yeah, that's what
you should do: make it artistic.
Black and white. Make this face.
She makes a raw sexual face.
JESSICA
Jesus, Madison!
(CONTINUED)
63.
54 CONTINUED: (3) 54
MADISON
Well, you came to me for advice,
that's my advice. You put those
across his radar, he won't see you
as a little girl anymore, that's
for sure.
Madison walks off, calls back.
MADISON
Don't send it to him as a jpeg,
though. He'll put it up on his
fantasy football web-site. And
then your brother sees it, tells
your mom, and suddenly you're not
allowed to use Facebook for a
month. Thanks, Kevin!
She leaves Jessica there, processing the advice.
55 EXT. HIGH SCHOOL - LATER THAT DAY 55
Jessica EXITS the school, lost in thought. There's a bit
of commotion outside. TEENAGERS are pointing and
LAUGHING at something.
Jessica pushes through and sees:
ROBBIE, standing atop a man-made, tall, wooden
platform/scaffold in front of the school.
ROBBIE
(DRAMATICALLY)
There she is!
ON JESSICA
Oh shit.
BACK TO ROBBIE
as he RIPS OPEN his button-up shirt, revealing a SCARLET
J taped to his pale, hairless chest. He has recreated
the famous Scarlet Letter tableau. He pulls out a piece
of paper, reads it.
(CONTINUED)
64.
55 CONTINUED: 55
ROBBIE
Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote in The
Scarlet Letter: `No man for any
considerable period can wear one
face to himself and another to the
multitude, without finally getting
bewildered as to which may be the
true.'
Robbie puts down the paper, ignoring the jeers.
ROBBIE
I am not bewildered! Jessica
Riley is my soulmate. She's the
one! I know it to be true, and so
now do the multitude.
(CORRECTING HIMSELF)
Multitudes?
(then, deciding)
No, multitude.
JESSICA
Robbie, get down!
ROBBIE
I have marked myself with this
Scarlet J, Jessica! For you.
Because your name starts with a J.
It's just tape and construction
paper but one day I will get a
permanent tattoo when I'm old
enough that my parents won't freak
out on me.
JESSICA
Robbie Weaver! I am your baby-
sitter and I'm telling you to GET
YOUR ASS DOWN FROM THERE NOW!
That does the trick. He gets down to mocking APPLAUSE.
Jessica pulls him off to the side.
JESSICA
(HEATED WHISPER)
What the hell are you thinking?
ROBBIE
You like the scaffold? It has
wheels. Took four weeks to build
it.
(THEN)
Oh, those are my friends, they
helped me wheel it down. Wave
hello.
(CONTINUED)
65.
55 CONTINUED: (2) 55
OFF TO THE SIDE: Three excited THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLDS WAVE
and give THUMBS-UPS to Robbie. Jessica waves, confused,
turns back to Robbie.
JESSICA
This has to stop, Robbie.
Seriously.
ROBBIE
You'll learn to love me. I
promise.
JESSICA
I won't.
ROBBIE
Just because I'm four years
younger than you?
JESSICA
BECAUSE I LOVE SOMEONE ELSE!!!
This stops Robbie dead in his tracks.
JESSICA
I've been spending time with him
for a while.
Robbie stumbles, less sure-footed than usual.
ROBBIE
No. You can't. I've checked. No
boyfriend since ninth grade. No
date for Spring Formal last
MONTH --
JESSICA
He's older. I don't want my
parents to know.
And with that, Robbie literally just sits down on the
ground, all the wind taken out of him. It might be the
cutest thing you've ever seen.
ROBBIE
Who is he?
JESSICA
It doesn't matter.
ROBBIE
Do I know him? Is he from town?
JESSICA
I don't know. Yes, kind of.
(CONTINUED)
66.
55 CONTINUED: (3) 55
ROBBIE
I'll kill him if he hurts you.
Jessica tries not to smile.
JESSICA
I know. But this all has to stop
now, Robbie. The speeches, the
texts, all of it. It's very
sweet, but it has to stop.
He just sits there, lost.
JESSICA
I'll see you around, okay?
She EXITS. Robbie remains seated on the grass.
Devastated. His three friends approach.
ROBBIE'S FRIEND
We should probably get the
scaffold back on the road before
dark.
ROBBIE
Yeah.
56 INT. CAL'S CORPORATE APARTMENT - AFTERNOON (NEXT DAY) 56
Robbie's on the couch, dejected. His little sister sits
next to him, watching High School Musical as always.
In the adjoining kitchen, Cal is on the phone.
CAL
(INTO PHONE)
Hey, Nanna! I know, it's been
forever. Have you been getting
out at all? I'll bring you some
of that deli you like one night,
okay? The kids? They're fine.
(to other room)
Kids, say hi to Nanna.
ROBBIE AND MOLLY
Hi, Nanna!
CAL
Oh, I've been keeping busy. Made
a new buddy, I've been spending
time with him. Yeah, I'm going to
see her tomorrow night. Of course
I miss her. You don't know how
much I miss...
(CONTINUED)
67.
56 CONTINUED: 56
His voice cracks. He turns, sees Robbie staring. He
heads into the bathroom with the phone, closes the door.
Robbie SIGHS, turns back to the TV.
CUT TO:
57 EXT. CAL'S CORPORATE APARTMENT - LATER THAT DAY 57
Cal and Robbie are having a catch. Robbie is listless.
ROBBIE
So you're seeing Mom tomorrow,
huh? At my parent-teacher thing?
CAL
Yeah.
ROBBIE
First time in a while.
CAL
Yeah, but no biggie.
Cal tosses him back the ball.
CAL
Hey, what's with the moping?
ROBBIE
Nothing. It's just... there's
this girl.
Cal smiles.
CAL
Oh yeah? You like her?
ROBBIE
I like Pringles. This girl's my
soulmate. I'm like crazy, stupid,
in love with her. And she wants
someone else.
CAL
But she's your soulmate?
ROBBIE
Yeah.
CAL
Well you can't just give up.
(CONTINUED)
68.
57 CONTINUED: 57
ROBBIE
Why not?
(then, quietly)
You did.
Cal freezes.
ROBBIE
Mom was yours, right?
CAL
I didn't give up.
ROBBIE
Listen, Dad. I love you. I have
your back, always. But let's be
honest here: the woman told you
she wanted a divorce and you
jumped out of a car.
CAL
It was slightly more complicated
than that. And I'm a different
guy now.
ROBBIE
You're the same guy. You just
have different clothes. Do you
still love her?
CAL
How old ARE you?
ROBBIE
(STRONGLY)
Do you still love Mom?
Cal doesn't say anything. His silence speaks volumes.
CAL
Weren't we talking about you?
ROBBIE
We are. Your son is in desperate
need of some romantic inspiration.
So set an example for your boy.
Don't give up. It's complicated?
Uncomplicate it. She says no?
Change her mind. Look at you,
you're the man right now, Dad.
Get her back.
(DRAMATICALLY)
Get back my mom.
(CONTINUED)
69.
57 CONTINUED: (2) 57
Robbie punctuates his pep talk by tossing Cal the ball,
hard.
Cal is lost in thought. The ball sails past him and
THROUGH THE WINDOW of a nearby car.
58 EXT. MIDDLE SCHOOL - NEXT NIGHT 58
PARENTS walk hand-in-hand, into the school. It's Parent-
Teacher conference night.
59 INT. MIDDLE SCHOOL - NEXT NIGHT 59
Cal sits on a small chair outside a classroom. Tracy
approaches.
TRACY (O.S.)
Wow.
Cal looks up. Tracy stands there. She's dressed down,
but looks amazing. Vulnerable and nervous.
TRACY
(FLOORED)
You look great, Cal.
CAL
Oh, well turns out I've been
buying the wrong size suit for
twenty years so...
TRACY
Well you look great. Really.
Cal smiles.
CAL
Thank you.
(THEN)
You always look great, so...
Awkward. Neither knows what to say now. Tracy takes the
seat next to him.
CAL
I talked to Nanna yesterday.
TRACY
Me, too. She sound okay to you?
CAL
She sounded like... Nanna. She
worries about us.
(CONTINUED)
70.
59 CONTINUED: 59
Tracy NODS. A long beat, then:
CAL
I feel like I'm about to get
detention.
Tracy LAUGHS, tension broken a bit.
CAL
Which teacher is this?
TRACY
Mrs. Thompson. This is the one
he pulled The Scarlet Letter
Asshole routine on.
Cal smiles.
CAL
He's a really weird kid, isn't he?
TRACY
Yeah.
(THEN)
I kind of like him, though.
CAL
I do, too. I'm so glad we
switched the babies at the
hospital.
TRACY
Me, too.
They LAUGH. God, these two are great together when
they're in rhythm. The laughter trickles away.
An awkward beat, then:
CAL
So, how are things with...
(a beat, then)
How's it going with David?
She looks down.
TRACY
Oh... it's not.
(THEN)
It wasn't about him, if that means
anything.
CAL
No, I know.
(CONTINUED)
71.
59 CONTINUED: (2) 59
Cal looks at his watch, a nervous gesture.
TRACY
You seeing anyone?
CAL
Who, me? No. You know me. No,
not really.
TRACY
Oh. Because you hear things, you
know.
CAL
Yeah, well...
Another long beat of silence. Cal gathers himself, takes
a breath, and turns toward Tracy.
CAL
I miss you, T.
Tracy looks up surprised.
CAL
I got complacent, I think. You
find your soulmate in high
school... you've got the game
sewed up in the first quarter, you
know?
She smiles.
CAL
I put in an effort when we were
younger, didn't I? I'd do
anything to make you happy: take
you miniature golfing, dancing --
you were such a good dancer.
TRACY
I had to be. You were such a good
miniature golfer.
He smiles, emboldened.
CAL
All I ever wanted to do was make
you love me. And then you did,
really early on. And we got
married so young. And I guess...
I got lazy. I got boring. And
I'm furious at you for what you
did. But I don't totally blame
you, if that makes any sense?
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
72.
59 CONTINUED: (3) 59
CAL (CONT'D)
(THEN)
I shouldn't have jumped out of the
car. I should have fought for
you. You fight for your soulmate.
At least that's what our thirteen-
year-old tells me.
Tracy's eyes well up with tears.
TRACY
He's a very strange boy, isn't he?
CAL
I'll be honest: he scares the
shit out of me.
She LAUGHS through her tears.
TRACY
I missed you, too.
Cal takes her hand, kisses it.
VOICE (O.S.)
Mr. and Mrs. Weaver?
They turn around.
AT DOORWAY
It's Robbie's English teacher, Mrs. Thompson... better
known to us as:
KATE (the teacher from the bar who Cal slept with).
Cal freezes, his lips on Tracy's hand.
CAL
Oh God.
KATE
Cal? What are you doing here?
CAL
(looking to the sky)
Really?
TRACY
You two know each other?
CAL
Um, yes... we've met before.
(CONTINUED)
73.
59 CONTINUED: (4) 59
KATE
We've met before? Seriously?
CAL
Mrs. Thompson? This is my wife.
Tracy.
KATE
Oh, so now she's your WIFE again?
HOW CONVENIENT!
Kate's getting louder now.
CAL
Why don't we head inside?
KATE
YES, WHY DON'T WE!?
She STORMS INSIDE. Tracy looks at Cal, follows her in.
60 INT. CLASSROOM - CONTINUOUS ACTION 60
Kate PACES in front of the classroom.
TRACY
I'm sorry, I'm playing catch-up:
how do you two know each other?
KATE
Maybe your husband should tell
you.
Cal hesitates.
CAL
We have a mutual friend.
KATE
Ha!
CAL
You know, maybe we should focus on
Robbie?
KATE
Yes, let's do that. Let's focus
on Robbie.
Kate goes to her blackboard.
(CONTINUED)
74.
60 CONTINUED: 60
KATE
As you know, Robbie's shining
moment this year was when he set a
school record for cursing in an
eighth grade English class.
She writes on the board: ASSHOLE. She underlines it.
KATE
Asshole. Are you familiar with
this word, Mrs. Weaver?
CAL
She's heard it, yes. So in terms
of Robbie's progress --
KATE
Asshole: as in, someone who tells
a woman that he'll call, and never
does.
CAL
We were a little concerned about
Robbie's grade on his oral book
REPORT --
KATE
Asshole: as in, someone who uses
`honesty' to get a woman into bed
with him, but is actually full of
shit like the rest of them.
CAL
Because usually he's a very strong
public speaker --
KATE
Asshole: as in, someone who
allows a woman to go down on him
for forty-five minutes because
he's `nervous' --
CAL
OKAY! ENOUGH!!!
Kate stops. Cal turns to Tracy. She looks crestfallen.
CAL
I can explain.
Tracy rushes out of the room. Cal calls after her.
CAL
She's an alcoholic! You can't
trust what she says!
(CONTINUED)
75.
60 CONTINUED: (2) 60
KATE SCREAMS in horror. Cal races after Tracy. Kate
races after Cal.
61 INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS ACTION 61
A three-way chase:
CAL
Tracy, wait!
TRACY
Leave me alone, Cal!
KATE
I'm sober for FIVE YEARS, you
ASSHOLE!
ON SPECTATORS
TEACHERS and PARENTS (including Jessica's parents),
stepping out into the hallway and following them outside.
62 EXT. SCHOOL - CONTINUOUS ACTION 62
Tracy races to her car.
CAL
Tracy, c'mon! We were separated.
TRACY
(fumbling for keys)
I know, and I cheated, so it
doesn't make any sense for me to
be mad at you.
CAL
Okay, so --
TRACY
I can't do this now, Cal.
CAL
Tracy, I love you.
KATE
Tell her she's the perfect
combination of sexy and cute,
ASSHOLE!
Tracy looks at Cal, stunned. That's their thing.
(CONTINUED)
76.
62 CONTINUED: 62
CAL
It's a funny story, actually --
TRACY
I'm going home.
She opens the car door.
CAL
Tracy, wait! Yes, I slept with
her! I slept with our son's
eighth grade teacher!
GASPS from the crowd. Claire (Jessica's Mom) takes a
picture with her cell phone.
CAL
But all it did was confirm what I
already knew: THAT I LOVE, YOU!
I LOVE YOU!!!
Tracy hesitates. Cal seizes the moment.
CAL
Before, you were the only woman
I'd ever been with or wanted to be
with. And now, even after I've
been with eleven women, you're
STILL...
He instantly trails off, realizing. MORE GASPS.
CAL
(MEEKLY COMPLETING)
... the only woman I want to be
with.
TRACY
I don't even know who you are.
Tracy gets in her car and speeds off.
CAL
(weakly, to himself)
I'm your soulmate.
Cal turns around to the crowd, only to be met...
By a SLAP ACROSS the face by Kate. She STORMS OFF.
CAL
HE DESERVED AN `A' ON THAT BOOK
REPORT AND YOU KNOW IT!
(CONTINUED)
77.
62 CONTINUED: (2) 62
THUNDER CRACKS in the sky. It begins to pour. Cal
stands there, soaked. He looks up at the sky.
CAL
REALLY!!!???
63 EXT. CHEESECAKE FACTORY 63
Meanwhile, the rain pours down as DINERS scurry into the
restaurant.
64 INT. CHEESECAKE FACTORY - CONTINUOUS ACTION 64
We've been here before... the same group of BORING PEOPLE
at the same table. Liz and Hannah CHAT off to the side.
There's a cake on the table that says "CONGRATS HANNAH!"
Richard stands on a chair.
RICHARD
Excuse me, everyone. Everyone!?
The room goes quiet.
RICHARD
Now, if we could get our guest of
honor over here... I forget what
she looks like, anyone remember?
POLITE LAUGHS. Liz GAGS herself with her finger, looks
at Hannah. Hannah takes a deep breath, downs her drink,
and walks over to Richard. Is this it?
RICHARD
I'm so proud of you, baby. I had
my doubts, of course...
More CHEESY LAUGHTER.
RICHARD
Now I did tell you that it'd be a
special night when you passed the
bar. And I'm a lawyer so you know
I never lie...
More HECKLING from the crowd. Liz desperately orders
another drink, barely able to take it.
RICHARD
So, Hannah, I'd like to formally
ask you, in front of all our
friends and colleagues...
(CONTINUED)
78.
64 CONTINUED: 64
Hannah waits, frozen.
RICHARD
... if you'd like to become a
permanent lawyer at the firm of
Watkins, Goldberg, and Schmidt!?
CHEERS. Hannah steps back, breathless. Richard reacts.
RICHARD
You don't have a better offer
already, do you?
Everyone LAUGHS.
HANNAH
No, that's great. I just...
(then, privately)
I'm sorry, I thought... I thought
you were about to propose.
The room goes quiet, trying to hear.
RICHARD
What?
HANNAH
No, I just... it's fine. I'm
sorry, I just got thrown is all.
Richard pulls Hannah off to the side.
RICHARD
Honey, I'm so sorry, I didn't
realize.
HANNAH
No, no, don't be silly, it's fine.
RICHARD
It's definitely a possibility,
down the road. I think I just
need a little more time. I'm
still figuring out how I feel
about us, you know: long-term.
HANNAH
No, I know...
(THEN)
Wait -- you're figuring out how
you feel about us?
She LAUGHS. Once. Then twice. Loudly. Everyone's now
watching. Liz gets a good seat, excited.
(CONTINUED)
79.
64 CONTINUED: (2) 64
RICHARD
Honey?
She's really laughing now.
HANNAH
You know what the best part is: I
would have said yes! To YOU! And
I didn't even want you to propose!
Just now, I swear to God: I was
hoping you wouldn't propose. And
I still would have said YES!
That's how pathetic I am!
She snags someone else's drink from the table, DOWNS IT.
She grabs Richard's cheeks.
HANNAH
I will consider your job offer,
thank you so much, Richard.
Hysterically LAUGHING, she walks away. As she passes,
Liz sticks out her hand and they slap five.
65 INT. BAR 65
Meanwhile, Jacob sits alone in the bar. He checks his
watch. No Cal.
Suddenly, he looks very alone at his usual table.
He shakes it off, stands, and approaches the table of a
group of nearby WOMEN.
ON THE WOMEN
One of them is telling a story:
WOMAN
And you know what she said?
JACOB (O.S.)
What? What did she say?
The women look up.
ON JACOB
Standing there, in all his glory. He flashes his coolest
smile. They melt. We've seen this before.
SLAM! The door to the bar busts open, revealing:
(CONTINUED)
80.
65 CONTINUED: 65
HANNAH.
She's dripping wet from the rain, looking almost wild.
She scans the room, quickly, searching for...
JACOB.
She spots him, marches straight to him.
For the first time, he looks like a deer in the
headlights.
She grabs him. Kisses him. A long, deep, almost angry
kiss. She pulls back.
HANNAH
Do you remember me?
JACOB
Yes.
HANNAH
Do you still think I'm attractive?
JACOB
Yes.
HANNAH
Do you still want to take me home?
JACOB
Yes.
Hannah NODS, takes his hand.
HANNAH
Let's go.
She leads him out of the bar. We STAY WITH the WOMEN
Jacob had just been introducing himself to.
WOMAN #1
Slut.
66 INT. JACOB'S APARTMENT - LATER 66
We haven't been here yet. It's exactly what you'd expect
though: an elegant bachelor-pad. Modern furniture.
Sleek. Everything just right. Jacob puts an album on
his record player.
(CONTINUED)
81.
66 CONTINUED: 66
HANNAH
This place looks like something
out of a men's magazine.
JACOB
Is that a compliment?
HANNAH
I'm not sure.
Music starts playing: "As Tears Go By" by the Stones.
HANNAH
I like this song.
JACOB
I thought you would.
(THEN)
Drink?
HANNAH
Yes, please.
Jacob pours two nice glasses of SCOTCH, neat. Brings
them (and the bottle) over towards the couch.
He pats the couch. Hannah nods, walks over, sits down.
JACOB
Cheers.
HANNAH
Cheers.
They CLINK. Jacob takes a sip. Hannah downs hers. She
holds out her glass for a refill.
Jacob raises a brow, pours her another. This time she
HOLDS HER NOSE as she downs it. As soon as she finishes
choking...
HANNAH
So is this how it normally works?
JACOB
What?
HANNAH
How you woo a woman? You take
them back to your granite-
countered bachelor pad, put on the
perfect song, and make them a
drink?
(CONTINUED)
82.
66 CONTINUED: (2) 66
JACOB
Yes. That's how it normally
works.
Hannah NODS, grabs the bottle, takes a swig.
HANNAH
And then you sleep with them?
JACOB
Yes.
HANNAH
So that's what happens next? We
sleep together?
JACOB
At some point, yes, I was under
the impression that was your plan.
She takes a deep breath, admits:
HANNAH
I'm very nervous.
JACOB
I'm getting that.
HANNAH
I know at the bar I seemed
confident, but I was more just
soaking wet and cold and trying to
be dramatic.
Jacob LAUGHS. He actually LAUGHS.
JACOB
You're adorable.
Hannah SNAPS, already tipsy.
HANNAH
No! Not adorable! Sexy! R-rated
sexy! Because I know what happens
next in the PG-13 version of
tonight: I get really drunk, and
I pass out, and you cover me with
a blanket, and kiss my forehead,
and nothing happens... but that's
not why I'm here!
(THEN)
I'm here to bang the hot guy from
the bar who hit on me.
(CONTINUED)
83.
66 CONTINUED: (3) 66
JACOB
I don't think people say `bang'
anymore.
HANNAH
I do. We're going to bang. I'm
finally going to do something
exciting and dangerous and Liz can
blow me!
Hannah shakes her hands out, pumping herself up.
HANNAH
Okay, okay, this is happening.
(THEN)
Take off your shirt.
JACOB
What?
HANNAH
I need to stop thinking. Take off
your shirt.
Jacob SHRUGS, stands, unbuttons his shirt and takes it
off. He's ripped.
HANNAH
Holy crap.
She pokes a finger at his abs.
HANNAH
It's like you're photo-shopped.
JACOB
Now take off yours.
HANNAH
No way! Not with all that
happening...
She motions casually at his abs.
HANNAH
So... do you prefer to do it here
or in the bedroom?
JACOB
(AMUSED)
In the bedroom is preferable.
Hannah stands, a girl on a mission.
(CONTINUED)
84.
66 CONTINUED: (4) 66
HANNAH
Good. Let's go there.
67 INT. BAR 67
Meanwhile Cal, beaten up and soaking wet from the rain,
ENTERS. He looks to his usual table, in need of a
friend's company.
But Jacob isn't there.
CUT BACK TO:
68 INT. JACOB'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS ACTION 68
Hannah lies on her back in the dim light. Jacob is on
top of her, shirtless. They're making out, gently.
HANNAH
(TIPSY)
This pillow is amazing. It forms
perfectly to the shape of my head.
JACOB
I'm glad you like it.
They resume kissing. After a beat, she pulls back again.
HANNAH
Wait, are these those foam pillows
from Brookstone?
Off his look...
HANNAH
They are, aren't they!? I always
wondered who actually buys them!
You do! The hot guy from the bar
buys them! Of course!
She shakes her head, amazed. Gathers herself.
HANNAH
Sorry, let's proceed.
Jacob smiles, goes to kiss her... she pulls back again.
HANNAH
You don't have one of those
ridiculous massage chairs, do you?
(CONTINUED)
85.
68 CONTINUED: 68
JACOB
(LYING)
No.
HANNAH
Oh. My. God! You totally do!
JACOB
(ADMITTING)
I do.
She STARTS LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY. It's infectious.
HANNAH
How much did it cost?
JACOB
Five thousand doll--
That DOUBLES HER OVER, hysterical. Jacob starts laughing
with her... really laughing. We can tell: this is
different for him. He likes her.
We watch him as he realizes that. As he processes it.
We watch him look at Hannah.
ON HANNAH
Hair in her face: drunk, laughing, completely amazing.
And then... Jacob does the most unexpected thing:
JACOB
Do me a favor. Ask me a question
about myself.
HANNAH
What? No! I don't want to know
anything about you.
JACOB
C'mon, one question.
HANNAH
Okay, fine, but then we bang.
JACOB
Absolutely. Now, come on, I'll
answer anything. You can ask me
about my job, or past
GIRLFRIENDS --
HANNAH
What's your mom like?
(CONTINUED)
86.
68 CONTINUED: (2) 68
The question takes him by surprise. He hesitates, then:
JACOB
Icy... I guess? Not cruel, but
cold. Very cold.
HANNAH
And your father?
JACOB
He died, long time ago. Left us a
lot of money, which is how I
have...
He motions at his PILLOW.
JACOB
Stuff like this.
She motions at his abs.
HANNAH
And time for stuff like that?
He LAUGHS.
JACOB
My dad was the opposite of my mom,
actually...
We PULL BACK as they continue chatting.
TIME PASSES, as one question leads to another, and then
another.
Body language shifts.
-- Soon they're sitting in bed, sharing the Scotch from
the bottle, just talking. Then kissing. Then lying on
their sides, face-to-face, talking some more.
-- Until finally: it's Jacob who passes out. And it's
Hannah who covers him with a blanket, and kisses him on
the forehead, and begins falling in love with him.
CUE MUSIC as we begin a...
MONTAGE. IN ONE CONTINUOUS DOLLY MOVE WE HEAD, FIRST,
TO...
87.
69 INT. COFFEE SHOP - MORNING 69
Hannah looks longingly at Jacob's plate of pancakes.
He notices, switches plates.
She smiles. He smiles. God, he's crazy about her.
He looks at the next table, watches a LOVELORN GUY switch
plates with his GIRLFRIEND.
Uh-oh.
70 INT. MOVIE THEATRE - NIGHT 70
DOLLY DOWN the row, HANDS are held between COUPLES, all
entranced by the movie, until we REVEAL:
JACOB
staring down at his hand, locked with Hannah's. He looks
terrified.
71 INT. HANNAH'S BEDROOM - EVENING 71
Now it's Hannah who's asleep in bed, and Jacob who stares
at her lovingly. Suddenly, he catches himself.
In a series of COMEDIC JUMP-CUTS, he wrestles with the
implications of what's happening to him.
-- Pacing. A drink. A big drink. Fingers pulling at
his own hair. Hyperventilating. More staring. More
pacing.
CUT TO:
71A INT. HANNAH'S BEDROOM 71A
And finally, he loses the battle: he tucks Hannah under
a blanket, kisses her forehead, and finally...
Gives in to falling in love with her.
CUT TO:
72 INT. BAR - EVENING 72
Cal is sitting at the table that once belonged to Jacob.
He suddenly seems very alone.
(CONTINUED)
88.
72 CONTINUED: 72
He looks towards the bar, notices that same SAD SACK
MIDDLE-AGED GUY. Also alone. He picks up his cell.
73 INT. RESTAURANT - CONTINUOUS ACTION 73
Tracy sits at a table, FLOWERS off to the side. Her
phone rings. She looks at it, sees it's "Cal." She hits
IGNORE.
PULL BACK to reveal DAVID JACOBWITZ, across from her. He
looks at Tracy and smiles. She smiles back weakly.
74 EXT. WEAVER HOUSE - LATER 74
The awkward end of a first date. David walks Tracy to
the front door. She's carrying those same flowers.
Awkward beat.
DAVID JACOBOWITZ
I had fun tonight, Tracy. And I
was wondering if --
TRACY
David, stop. Look, I had a nice
time, which is a substantial
upgrade from the rest of the...
times I've been having lately.
So, I don't think I'm ready to
start dating but my ex clearly is
and there's a yogurt shop where
they make this eight calorie ice
cream that tastes like a laxative,
so if you'd like to take me there
sometime I guess I wouldn't say
no.
DAVID JACOBOWITZ
Wow. You know, that's exactly
what I was thinking. It's almost
uncanny.
They LAUGH. This is the moment. Romantic chemistry.
Are they going to kiss? Holy cow. And then...
THE DOOR OPENS. Jessica stands there.
JESSICA
Hello.
TRACY
Oh, Jessica. Hi. Sorry.
Jessica, this is my work-friend.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
89.
74 CONTINUED: 74
TRACY (CONT'D)
He's an accountant named David.
David, this is my baby-sitter,
Jessica. Okay, David, well
everything sounds great.
Spreadsheets.
David smiles knowingly.
DAVID JACOBOWITZ
I'll see you at work.
He EXITS. Tracy stands there with Jessica, awkward.
INSIDE THE DOOR
Robbie sneaks down the stairs. From a kneeling position,
he can hear and see everything.
JESSICA
So... How was dinner?
TRACY
It was just for work.
JESSICA
(POINTEDLY)
It's a pretty dress.
TRACY
Oh, thanks.
Tracy reaches for her purse, awkwardly.
TRACY
So how much do I owe yo--
JESSICA
Did you know your kids are the
only ones I baby-sit for who
always want to stay awake so they
can see their dad when he gets
home. I mean, they fight with
everything they have to keep their
eyes open so they can hear what
Dad had for dinner, or how he
liked the movie. Lot of kids want
to stay awake for Mom -- and your
kids always want to see you, don't
get me wrong -- but not a lot wait
up for Dad. Maybe it's because
he's good, and he's kind, and he's
decent.
(CONTINUED)
90.
74 CONTINUED: (2) 74
TRACY
What are you talking abo--
JESSICA
Batshit crazy.
She walks out the door. Tracy looks confused.
TRACY
Jessica?
Jessica turns, explodes?
JESSICA
I DON'T WANT YOUR SLUTTY MONEY!
She storms off.
TRACY
Jessica!
But she's gone. Tracy SIGHS ("what the hell was that")
and CLOSES the door.
75 INT. HOUSE - CONTINUOUS ACTION 75
Tracy locks the door and leans against it... processing
what Jessica just said about Cal.
She puts the FLOWERS down on the table, and heads into
the kitchen.
ON ROBBIE
at top of the stairs, regarding the flowers.
76 EXT. STREET - LATER 76
CUE MUSIC. Robbie rides his bike down the street. He's
got Tracy's FLOWERS nestled in his handlebars.
77 INT. JESSICA'S BEDROOM - MINUTES LATER 77
Jessica ENTERS in a huff, goes right toward a drawer in
her dresser. She pulls out a CAMERA.
IN QUICK CUTS
we watch as she: Sets it on her dresser. Hits the
timer. Steps back. Drops her clothes to the floor.
(CONTINUED)
91.
77 CONTINUED: 77
Prints a PHOTO from her camera. And places it in an
ENVELOPE READING:
"Cal Weaver." With a heart. She stares at the envelope
for a beat.
Just then: HER DOORBELL RINGS.
Jessica jumps, started. She quickly puts the envelope in
a drawer and heads for the door.
78 INT. JESSICA'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER 78
She opens the front door. Sitting on her stoop:
The same flowers that David Jacobowitz gave Tracy sit out
front. She looks at the note. It reads: "Just give me
a chance, love David J" but the "David J." has been
crossed out and replaced with "Robbie."
She shakes her head, takes the flowers, closes the door.
79 EXT. THE WEAVER BACKYARD - LATE EVENING 79
MUSIC CONTINUES as we spy the Weaver family through their
windows: Robbie plays video games in his room. Molly
watching her show in hers. Tracy in the kitchen.
We MOVE DOWN the house, and OUTSIDE, where we discover:
Cal in stealth mode, tending to his backyard. He
fertilizes, trims and waters. All under cover of night.
TRACY (O.S.)
Kids! Ice cream!
Cal looks into the living room. Tracy has brought out
ice cream: a carton with three spoons. The kids race
down the stairs, join her, and start eating. Laughing.
We take in the real-time TABLEAU:
Cal's wife and children -- his family -- inside. Cal:
watching them from the outside, looking in.
It's touching. It's complicated. It's horribly painful.
INSIDE... Tracy looks at her kids, thinks of something.
She steps into the KITCHEN, closes the door, and DIALS
her phone. Cal leans toward the window, suspicious.
OUTSIDE... Cal's phone rings. He jumps to silence it.
(CONTINUED)
92.
79 CONTINUED: 79
CAL
Hello?
TRACY
Hi, Cal.
Silence. Cal is looking at her inside. She has no idea.
TRACY
So... I'm in the basement. I'm
trying to get the water heater
working `cause the pilot's out and
I don't know how to relight it.
Obviously Cal sees she's not in the basement.
TRACY
I'm sorry to bother you, I just...
what do I do?
Cal lowers the phone, looks at her, hesitates. Then:
CAL
It's fine, it's fine. I'm glad
you called. Here: I'll walk you
through it.
(THEN)
Do you see the little grey door?
TRACY
Yeah.
CAL
Pull it down.
She pantomimes this in the kitchen.
TRACY
Okay, it's down.
CAL
Now, you see the red button? I
wrote `push' on it?
TRACY
I got it.
CAL
Push. Now turn that to the right
and stick the match in.
TRACY
Oh, there it goes!
(CONTINUED)
93.
79 CONTINUED: (2) 79
CAL
Good. Now just close the door and
you're good to go.
Silence. The charade is over. Now what?
TRACY
Well, thanks, Cal. I...
appreciate your help.
CAL
No, anytime. Call anytime with
stuff like that.
(AWKWARD BEAT)
Talk to you later?
TRACY
Yeah. And... thanks again.
Cal HANGS up. He takes one final look back at his wife
as the sprinklers go off in the backyard and douse him.
80 INT. CAL'S CORPORATE APARTMENT - MORNING 80
Cal sits on his little couch, between Robbie and Molly.
Molly is once again absorbed in High School Musical.
Cal looks depressed. Robbie doesn't look much better.
CAL
Nanna's coming over tonight. You
guys haven't seen her in a while.
Wanna stay for dinner?
ROBBIE
Sure.
CAL
Your mom's working till five,
we'll have to tell her.
(off their silence)
What do you guys want to do today?
MOLLY
(not looking up)
High School Musical.
CAL
Well, there's a shocker.
She goes back into her trance.
ROBBIE
She still won't talk to you?
(CONTINUED)
94.
80 CONTINUED: 80
CAL
Not if that show's on.
ROBBIE
No, I mean, Mom.
CAL
Oh, no. Just hellos and goodbyes
when we pass you guys off.
ROBBIE
What happened?
CAL
Beyond your pay-grade, buddy.
Cal looks pained.
CAL
I will say this though: I got
close. We were laughing. Talking
about old times, all the things we
used to do...
His eyes drift to the TV. It's the timeless GOLF SCENE
from High School Musical II. A LIGHT BULB goes on.
CAL
(TO ROBBIE)
Hey. Get your coat.
Robbie smiles, runs off. Cal turns to Molly, REMOTE in
hand.
CAL
Baby? I'm gonna have to turn off
the show.
MOLLY
No!
CAL
I have to --
MOLLY
NOOOO!
CAL
I'm turning it off --
MOLLY
NOOOOOOOOOOO!
He just does it! He turns the TV off. Silence. Molly
turns towards him, stares. A long, scary, beat. Then:
(CONTINUED)
95.
80 CONTINUED: (2) 80
MOLLY
(free at last)
Thank you.
Cal KISSES her, jumps up from the couch.
81 INT. SPORTING GOODS STORE - LATER 81
Cal talks to a SALESMAN. Robbie and Molly bounce around,
excited.
82 INT. PARTY SUPPLY STORE - LATER 82
Cal talks to a different SALESMAN. Robbie and Molly
extend a MEASURING TAPE across the ground, assisting.
83 EXT. U-HAUL CENTER - CONTINUOUS ACTION 83
Cal rents a TRUCK.
84 INT. HOME DEPOT - CONTINUOUS ACTION 84
Cal picks up materials. As he rounds a corner, he runs
into... BERNIE.
BERNIE
Oh, hey, Cal.
CAL
Bernie.
BERNIE
So how've you --
CAL
Bernie: I'd love to catch up, but
I'm doing something at the old
house tonight and I'm in a bit of
a rush so... yeah. Thanks again
for the cologne.
Cal takes off.
85 EXT. HOME DEPOT - CONTINUOUS ACTION 85
Molly points out her three favorite DAY LABORERS, Cal
hires them.
96.
86 INT. WEAVER BACKYARD - LATER 86
Some kind of construction is going on back there.
Cal's cell phone RINGS. We go --
86A SPLIT SCREEN 86A
with JACOB on his. He's waiting outside a LIQUOR STORE
in his car.
CAL
Hello?
JACOB
Hey, Cal.
CAL
Oh. My. God. It's alive.
JACOB
I'm sorry. I know I've been out
of circulation.
CAL
You abandoned me at my time of
need.
JACOB
I've been a little... things have
gotten a bit... I met a woman.
CAL
I bet you did.
JACOB
No, I mean, I've been spending a
lot of time with her. This woman.
One woman.
CAL
(DISBELIEVING)
Okay, whatever.
JACOB
Actually, tonight... I'm going to
meet her mother.
CAL
(LAUGHING)
Whoa!!!! Look at you! You do
realize you might actually have to
answer a question or two about
yourself?
(CONTINUED)
97.
86A CONTINUED: 86A
JACOB
Yes, I realize that, asshole.
Hannah comes out of the wine store, hops over the car.
Jacob can't help but smile: wow, he's REALLY into her.
JACOB
Gotta go. Grab a beer next week?
CAL
You've got my number.
(THEN)
Hey. Good for you, by the way.
JACOB
Thanks.
Cal HANGS up, LAUGHS to himself, and gets back to work.
87 EXT. WEAVER HOUSE - LATER THAT NIGHT 87
Tracy pulls up to her house. As she pulls in she notices
Robbie. He's standing outside the front door in a
tuxedo... a shit-eating grin on his face.
She SIGHS ("what now?") and parks the car.
88 INT. JESSICA'S BEDROOM 88
Meanwhile. Claire is putting away laundry. She throws
some underwear in Jessica's bottom drawer.
Notices something. An envelope. It's addressed to Cal
Weaver. Curiosity piqued, she picks it up. Looks
inside. Almost faints.
89 INT. CLAIRE AND BERNIE'S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS ACTION 89
Big Bernie sits in a recliner, watching football and
drinking a cold one. Jessica lies on the floor, doing
homework.
Claire ENTERS, ashen. Zombie-like, she hands Bernie the
envelope. Jessica looks up, sees it.
JESSICA
No!!!!
She jumps, but it's too late.
(CONTINUED)
98.
89 CONTINUED: 89
ON BERNIE
Staring at the picture. We don't see it, but we get the
point: it's a father's worst nightmare.
Bernie, dazed, slides the pictures back into the
envelope. He looks at the envelope again.
ON ENVELOPE
Cal's name. A heart.
BACK TO SCENE
JESSICA
Daddy?
Bernie puts a hand up. He can't speak. He marches out
the door. From inside we hear a car SCREECH AWAY.
ON JESSICA
Realizing. She grabs a second set of keys.
90 EXT. JESSICA'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS ACTION 90
Jessica runs into a second car. Races after her father.
91 EXT. WEAVER HOUSE 91
Meanwhile. Tracy approaches Robbie. Not only is he
wearing a tuxedo, he's carrying a bunch of SCARVES.
Tracy LAUGHS.
TRACY
Baby! What are you wearing!?
ROBBIE
Dad's here.
Tracy's face drops.
ROBBIE
I have to blindfold you.
TRACY
(WEARY)
What is this? What is he doing?
(CONTINUED)
99.
91 CONTINUED: 91
ROBBIE
Relax, Mom. He's your husband,
not Al Queda. You'll make it out
alive.
She can't help but smile. She kneels down, allowing
Robbie to BLINDFOLD HER from behind.
He ties a SCARF around her eyes. Then ANOTHER at a
different angle, double-knots it. Then ANOTHER!
ROBBIE
Okay, we're good, let's do this.
92 INT. BERNIE'S CAR 92
Meanwhile. There's no expression on Bernie's face. It's
frightening. He looks down at passenger seat. At the
ENVELOPE bearing Cal's address.
He RACES through a light. A HORN blares behind him.
93 INT. JESSICA'S CAR - CONTINUOUS ACTION 93
Jessica is the one BLARING THE HORN, crying and panicked.
She too RACES through the same light.
94 EXT. WEAVER BACKYARD 94
Robbie leads a blindfolded Tracy into the backyard. She
looks like a zombie with all the scarves over her face.
We see what she is not yet privy to.
ON THE BACKYARD
Cal's Shangri-La has been transformed: the yard holds a
FULL-BLOWN MINIATURE GOLF HOLE, windmill and all.
Cal stands behind it all, in a tux.
CAL
Hi, T.
TRACY
Can I take these off, please?
CAL
Almost. Kids?
(CONTINUED)
100.
94 CONTINUED: 94
Robbie CUES music (which will play throughout this
scene). Molly, in a PARTY DRESS, carries a glass of
champagne to Tracy and puts it in her hand.
CAL
(LAUNCHING IN)
Twenty-five years ago, Cal Weaver
saw Tracy Boyle for the first
time, walking the halls of
Woodside Middle School --
TRACY
Cal: are you seriously doing this
in front of the kids?
ROBBIE
(QUICKLY)
If it goes bad I'm supposed to
take Molly upstairs and put the TV
on loud.
Tracy SIGHS, giving up.
TRACY
Well, might as well wait for your
daughter.
CAL
She's right next to you, T.
TRACY
No, your other daughter.
Huh? Just then:
VOICE (O.S.)
Hello?
From inside the house steps out...
HANNAH.
CAL
Nanna!
HANNAH
Hi, Daddy.
WTF! And right behind her... JACOB. Holding a bottle of
wine and smiling like an idiot. Everyone freezes.
JACOB
Cal?
(CONTINUED)
101.
94 CONTINUED: (2) 94
CAL
What the hell are you doing here?
JACOB
What the hell are you doing here?
HANNAH
Wait, you two know each other?
TRACY
(STILL BLIND)
Hi, Nanna.
CAL
Wait, what's going on?
ROBBIE
Hey, Nanna.
HANNAH
Hey, Robbie.
MOLLY
Hey, Nanna.
HANNAH
Hey, cutie.
JACOB
WHAT THE HELL IS A NANNA!?
HANNAH
It's me, I couldn't pronounce
Hannah when I was little -- wait,
so how do you know my dad?
JACOB
(REALIZING)
Oh, God.
CAL
(FREAKING)
I'M NOT UNDERSTANDING WHAT'S GOING
ON HERE!
HANNAH
Dad, this is my boyfriend, Jacob.
CAL
No. No. No. No.
(CONTINUED)
102.
94 CONTINUED: (3) 94
TRACY
I want to see the boyfriend!
(STRUGGLING WITH
SCARVES)
Can someone please take this off?
JACOB
HOW THE HELL DO YOU HAVE A 24-YEAR-
OLD DAUGHTER!?
CAL
I WAS SEVENTEEN! SHE WAS OUR
SENIOR YEAR HICCUP! IT'S WHY WE
GOT MARRIED SO YOUNG!
JACOB
WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER TELL ME THAT?
CAL
YOU NEVER LET ME TALK ABOUT MY
CHILDREN!
HANNAH
So you two, like, really know each
other?
CAL
No way -- you and her... no way.
End it, now.
HANNAH
Daddy!!!
JACOB
Well, that's not going to happen.
CAL
Well, then I'm going to murder
you.
HANNAH
DAD!
TRACY
(down to two scarves)
Will someone please take this
goddamn thing off me!
CAL
Robbie, take the goddamn thing off
your mother!
(then, looking up)
Bernie?
(CONTINUED)
103.
94 CONTINUED: (4) 94
SLAM! A body flies into Cal and knocks him OUT OF FRAME.
It's Bernie! Behind him...
JESSICA runs after her father, SCREAMING:
JESSICA
Daddy, no!
ROBBIE
Is that Jessica?
BAM! Bernie lands a solid right into Cal's jaw.
HANNAH
Daddy!
JESSICA
Daddy!
TRACY
(YANKING ON
BLINDFOLD)
What's happening?
Bernie is pummeling Cal.
BERNIE
I LET HER BABY-SIT FOR YOU, YOU
SICK SON OF A BITCH! SHE'S
SEVENTEEN!
Jacob dives in. Tries to pull Bernie off. Bernie NAILS
Jacob with an UPPERCUT!
HANNAH
Jacob!
CAL
(GETTING PUMMELLED)
Bernie, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT!
Bernie picks up a WINDMILL from the miniature GOLF
COURSE, readies to bash it over Cal's head. Jessica
throws herself on Cal.
JESSICA
Daddy, stop!
This breaks Bernie's trance. He hesitates.
JESSICA
He didn't do anything. He doesn't
even know.
(CONTINUED)
104.
94 CONTINUED: (5) 94
ROBBIE
Know what?
CAL
Know what?
TRACY
(STILL BLINDFOLDED)
Robbie, please get this off me!
ROBBIE
(struggling with it)
I'm TRYING!
JESSICA
He doesn't even know that I'm in
love with him!
Robbie stops, turns.
ROBBIE
With who?
JESSICA
(pointing at Cal)
With him.
CAL
Are you pointing at me?
ROBBIE
Are you pointing at him?
TRACY
Who is she pointing at!?
ROBBIE
(PROCESSING)
Wait: my dad is the older guy
you've been seeing?
BERNIE
I knew it.
He gets ready to pummel some more. Jessica grabs him.
JESSICA
(TO BERNIE)
He doesn't even know about the
dirty pictures I made for him.
ROBBIE
You made him dirty pictures? Oh
God.
(CONTINUED)
105.
94 CONTINUED: (6) 94
Robbie looks to Cal. He's angry, jealous, and broken-
hearted all at once.
ROBBIE
(TO CAL)
You're the one? You're the one
she...
(then, furious)
You stole my soulmate.
CAL
Wait: Jessica is your soulmate?
VOICE (O.S.)
I'm sorry, is Tracy home?
Everyone turns: DAVID JACOBOWITZ stands in the doorway.
He's holding up a SWEATER in his right hand.
DAVID JACOBOWITZ
You left your sweater in my car
the other night.
HANNAH
Who are you?
DAVID JACOBOWITZ
David Jacobowitz.
JACOB
David Jacobowitz!
CAL
David Jacobowitz!?
DAVID JACOBOWITZ
Is this a bad time --
WHACK!!! Jacob LEVELS David Jacobowitz with a right
hook.
HANNAH
Jacob!
JACOB
You know how much misery you've
put this poor bastard through!?
Before Jacob can finish, Cal LEVELS Jacob.
CAL
Stay the hell away from my
daughter.
(CONTINUED)
106.
94 CONTINUED: (7) 94
Jacob JUMPS on Cal. David jumps on Jacob. Bernie tries
to pull them apart.
Jessica finally gets the blindfold off Tracy. The women
and children watch the battle in horror.
CUT TO:
95 INT. WEAVER BACKYARD - LATER 95
Cal, Jacob, Bernie, and David Jacobowitz sit side-by-side
on the miniature golf hole, bloodied but still.
REVEAL: TWO POLICE OFFICERS standing in the center of
the yard. One of them finishes writing in a pad.
POLICE OFFICER #1
Well, okay. That should about do
it.
(to his partner)
What do you think?
The other cop SHRUGS. The first cop, thinks, then:
POLICE OFFICER #1
Look, I'm just gonna write
domestic disturbance reported but
all clear, okay? `Cause honestly,
I don't even know what to put down
here.
TRACY
Thank you, Officer.
He nods, walks to the door. Stops there.
POLICE OFFICER #1
Just... simmer down, okay? We all
have arguments, but if you're
gonna fight -- just do it inside.
Keep it in the family, okay?
Jacob SNARFS down a laugh. Cal glares at him.
CAL
I'll kill you.
The cops look at Cal, at each other, SHRUG, and EXIT.
(CONTINUED)
107.
95 CONTINUED: 95
ON THE YARD
Awkward silence. Our whole cast is there: disheveled
and bloodied. The place looks like a hurricane has hit.
A miniature golf hole torn to shreds.
Bernie turns to Jessica.
BERNIE
Let's go. Now.
She NODS. Looks back at Cal.
JESSICA
I'm so sorry --
BERNIE
NOW!
And that's that. Robbie runs to the driveway, looks:
96 IN THE STREET 96
as Jessica runs after her father, trying to apologize.
But he won't even look at her. They get in their
respective cars, drive off.
97 BACK INSIDE 97
Jacob approaches Cal.
CAL
Don't.
JACOB
CAL --
Cal turns to Hannah.
CAL
This man is a lowlife and a
WOMANIZER --
TRACY
(under her breath)
Oh, that's ironic.
Cal whips around.
CAL
I'm sorry, what?
Tracy doesn't push it. Cal turns back to Hannah.
(CONTINUED)
108.
97 CONTINUED: 97
CAL
You may not be able to see it, but
I have. Over and over again. You
are not to see him any more.
HANNAH
Dad, c'mon, I'm not going to stop
seeing him.
Cal turns away.
CAL
Well then I don't have anything
else to say to you.
HANNAH
DAD --
CAL
GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!
ON HANNAH
shocked.
BACK TO SCENE
TRACY
Cal, stop being unreasona--
CAL
I said: GET THE HELL OUT OF MY
HOUSE!
TRACY
IT'S NOT YOUR HOUSE ANYMORE, CAL!
CAL
AND YOU MADE DAMN SURE OF THAT
DIDN'T YOU, SWEETHEART!?
This time it's Tracy whose face registers shock. Hannah
takes Jacob's hand, pulls him away.
JACOB
(one last try)
Cal, c'mon --
But Cal won't even look at him.
MOLLY
(CALLING OUT)
Goodbye, Nanna.
(CONTINUED)
109.
97 CONTINUED: (2) 97
HANNAH
(THROUGH TEARS)
Goodbye, cutie.
They EXIT. Cal lets them go, then grabs his things.
CAL
She's all yours, David.
Ouch.
TRACY
(WOUNDED)
Nice.
Before he goes, Cal stops in front of Robbie.
CAL
Go big or go home, right, buddy?
Robbie looks up at him, cold.
ROBBIE
Go home, Dad.
Cal NODS, EXITS.
98 INT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS - THE NEXT MONTH 98
CUE: John Mayer's "Who Says."
1) ROBBIE, at school. His spirit is crushed. He looks
at his CONTACT LIST, thinks, and DELETES JESSICA.
99 JESSICA 99
2) at home, grounded and sad.
100 JACOB 100
3) trying to get HANNAH to make a phone call to her
father... she won't.
101 TRACY 101
4) at her office, finally taking down the picture of her
and Cal. And speaking of Cal...
110.
102 INT. BAR - AFTERNOON (THREE WEEKS LATER) 102
Cal sits back at his usual table. This isn't "Cool Cal,"
the Jacob disciple. No, this is "Sad Mess Cal." He's
grown a patchy beard. He's wearing a ratty sweatsuit.
He's drinking, once again, vodka-cranberry out of a wimpy
red straw. It's pathetic. A WAITRESS APPROACHES.
WAITRESS
Can I get you another?
CAL
What time is it?
WAITRESS
2:30. In the afternoon.
CAL
2:30 would have been sufficient
but I appreciate the judgment,
Cocktail Waitress.
(THEN)
Yes, another drink would be grand.
She EXITS.
Cal feels bad for that one. As she re-approaches:
CAL
That was uncalled for. Sorry for
being a dick.
JACOB (O.S.)
Ah, it's okay, I deserved it.
ON JACOB
Standing there. As always, he looks perfectly put
together. He takes in Cal.
JACOB
It's a nice sweatsuit, Cal.
CAL
What do you want?
JACOB
Can I sit?
CAL
I don't know, can you?
(CONTINUED)
111.
102 CONTINUED: 102
JACOB
Okay, are we going to be mature
about this, or act like children?
CAL
(MIMICKING)
`Are we going to be mature or act
like children?'
JACOB
Okay, so like children then. Move
over.
Jacob SLIDES in.
JACOB
I'd like to talk.
CAL
You still seeing my daughter?
JACOB
Yes.
CAL
Then I have nothing to say to you.
JACOB
Cal.
(THEN)
Cal, look at me.
Cal looks. Jacob still has that power over him.
JACOB
You been hanging out here a lot?
CAL
Sometimes.
JACOB
Must be missing a lot of work.
CAL
I have a lot of vacation days.
JACOB
Some vacation.
CAL
I hate the beach... you've got a
lot of nerve coming here --
Just then, the WAITRESS re-approaches. Delivers Cal's
drink. They wait her out. She EXITS.
(CONTINUED)
112.
102 CONTINUED: (2) 102
JACOB
You want a sip?
CAL
No, she probably spit in it.
Jacob NODS as Cal pushes the drink away.
JACOB
Your kids miss you.
CAL
You're hanging out with my kids,
fantastic! You can teach Robbie
how to objectify women, he'll love
that.
JACOB
His eighth grade graduation is
next week. You coming?
CAL
Of course I'm coming.
JACOB
Well you haven't exactly been
around for him, Cal.
CAL
He's not my biggest fan right now.
JACOB
Oh, that's a good excuse --
CAL
Alright, man-whore, if your
lecture on parental responsibility
is almost done --
JACOB
I love her, Cal.
Cal looks up.
JACOB
I've never been in love before.
Honestly, I've never even been in
`like' before.
(THEN)
I never got it. I saw people in
love -- I saw weakness. I heard
them say the things they said, and
do the things they do, it all just
seemed so... so pathetic.
(THEN)
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
113.
102 CONTINUED: (3) 102
JACOB (CONT'D)
She's my perfect combination of
everything, Cal.
Cal looks up at Jacob. He smiles, gently.
CAL
I know you. I know what you are.
You are not good enough for my
daughter. And you will never have
my permission nor my approval.
Jacob stands.
JACOB
I'll see you at graduation.
He EXITS. Once more, Cal is alone. Just as he wants it.
103 EXT. GRADUATION CEREMONY - ONE WEEK LATER 103
A small MIDDLE-SCHOOL AMPHITHEATER. About 150 people
fill the crowd of an intimate middle school graduation.
Tracy, Molly, and Hannah sit in the front row. Jessica
sits with her family a few rows away. All look nice.
MANY ROWS BACK --
Sits Cal, sandwiched between RANDOM SPECTATORS. Cal is
now shaven and well-dressed but he looks miserable.
His eyes brighten for a moment as he notices...
AN EMPTY SEAT between Tracy and Hannah. He leans
forward, are they saving it for him? But just then...
Jacob arrives. Kisses Hannah and takes "Cal's" seat.
Cal looks nauseous.
ON STAGE
We WATCH the ceremony for a moment. The PRINCIPAL labors
through her introduction...
VOICE (V.O.)
... and now, to introduce the
first student speaker: our very
own English teacher Kate Thompson!
Cal's former conquest steps onto stage.
(CONTINUED)
114.
103 CONTINUED: 103
AHEAD OF CAL
Tracy looks away, clearly uncomfortable at the teacher's
presence. She accidentally catches Cal's eye. Awkward.
KATE
Our next speaker is not only the
class salutatorian, but he's also
one of the most...
(SEARCHING)
Spirited... young men, I've ever
had the pleasure of teaching.
Ladies and gentlemen: Robbie
Weaver.
Robbie takes the stage to APPLAUSE. This is not the same
kid we've come to love. There's something different in
his face. He's been broken. He spots JESSICA.
ROBBIE
(a bit monotone)
Thank you, Mrs. Thompson.
Welcome, Class of 2011.
(A BEAT)
I wasn't really sure what I wanted
to talk about today. Mrs.
Thompson said it might be good to
talk about growing up and getting
older and stuff. So I guess I'll
talk about that.
Cal watches, concerned. Where's his son?
ROBBIE
I grew up a lot this year, I
think. I used to think that
growing up meant really growing.
Like getting taller and bigger.
But now I think that growing up
just makes you smaller. Your
dreams get smaller, and what you
want gets smaller...
(beat, then)
I grew an inch and a half this
year, but I feel a lot smaller.
Cal sits forward, getting increasingly concerned.
ROBBIE
I was in love. And I know that
makes parents laugh because I'm
only thirteen but whatever, I was.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
115.
103 CONTINUED: (2) 103
ROBBIE (CONT'D)
I believed that there was one true
love for everyone, and if you
fought for that person, your one
true love would always work out.
But that's not how it works. It
sounded good when I was younger,
but... it's just not how it works.
There's no such thing as one true
love for everyo--
CAL (O.S.)
Stop!
Robbie turns. Cal is STANDING in the middle of the
crowd. Everyone turns to look at him.
ROBBIE
Dad?
CAL
Hi.
(awkward, to crowd)
Hi, everyone.
Silence. No one knows what to do. Cal is suddenly
really uncomfortable.
CAL
May I have a word with my son?
It'll just take a second.
Cal tries to extricate himself from his row. He steps
over people, squeezes by people, almost trips.
Finally clear, he gathers himself, and tries to keep his
dignity as he marches down the aisle -- past his family.
Robbie comes to the front of the stage, bends down.
ROBBIE
(HEATED WHISPER)
What are you doing?
CAL
I don't know. What are you doing?
Robbie's eyes well up with tears.
ROBBIE
I was wrong, Dad. There's no such
thing as --
Cal turns toward the crowd, announces:
(CONTINUED)
116.
103 CONTINUED: (3) 103
CAL
My son's graduation speech sucks.
GASPS from the crowd.
ON CAL
Now standing, alone, front and center in front of an
entire eighth grade graduation ceremony.
He looks behind him at the panel of TEACHERS. MRS.
THOMPSON discreetly gives Cal the finger.
CAL
In fairness, I don't know where he
was going but I think we can all
agree it was heading in a pretty
depressing direction. And I
basically wrote it for him. I
mean, I didn't literally write it
but I sure as hell influenced it,
and the kid's already a spitting
image of his mother and I'll be
damned if this is what he's going
to get from me.
People squirm, uncomfortable. This is a train wreck.
CAL
My son -- not him, my actual son --
he believes in grand romantic
gestures. He believes that people
have soulmates. And we always
want to tell our thirteen-year-
olds that they're wrong, that `one
day you'll understand, young man.'
But maybe it should be the other
way around.
He looks at Tracy, out in the crowd.
CAL
I met my soulmate when I was
fifteen years old. Our first
date, we went for ice cream.
After, my dad started teasing me
about my `first date' the way dads
do. And I told him: `stop making
a big deal, Dad. I'm going to go
on lots of dates with plenty of
girls.' That was the first time I
ever lied to my father.
(THEN)
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
117.
103 CONTINUED: (4) 103
CAL (CONT'D)
I met my soulmate when I was
fifteen years old. And I have
loved her with everything I have
for every minute, of every day,
ever since she let me buy her that
first mint chip ice cream. I have
loved her through the birth of our
three perfect children, and I have
loved her even as I've hated her --
only married couples can truly
understand that one. And I don't
know what will wind up happening
with us -- I don't, Robbie, I'm
sorry I can't give you that -- but
I promise you this: I will never
stop trying. When you find `the
one' you never give up trying...
and I love you, my amazing boy,
for reminding me of that.
Robbie hugs his father as the crowd reacts. Cal kisses
his son on the head, then motions towards the microphone.
Robbie grabs it with newfound gusto and announces:
ROBBIE
I still love you, Jessica! I've
loved you since the first time you
changed my sister's diaper! I've
loved you since...
The crowd reacts (LAUGHS, CHEERS, etc.) as Robbie
continues. Cal stands back and smiles. His boy is back.
104 EXT. GRADUATION CEREMONY - LATER 104
The ceremony is over. Robbie heads over to his family.
They hug him, kiss him. Cal approaches Hannah and Jacob.
CAL
Hi, Nanna.
HANNAH
Daddy.
He smiles at her, adoring.
CAL
My perfect girl.
He kisses her forehead, turns to Jacob.
(CONTINUED)
118.
104 CONTINUED: 104
CAL
I already ordered a gun. I'm not
kidding. I ordered a Colt .45 on
a shady internet site, I can show
you the receipt. If you hurt her,
I am prepared to shoot you in the
face.
JACOB
Cal, I'm not going to --
CAL
Shut up, Jacob.
Jacob shuts up.
CAL
Wow. I like that.
Jacob smiles, shakes hands with Cal. Cal notices:
CAL
Is that a new shirt?
JACOB
Hannah took me to the Gap. It's
actually not as bad as I thought.
CAL
Seriously?
JACOB
Of course not, Cal. It's the Gap.
I got this at Nordstrom's.
And like that... order is restored in the universe.
OVER TO ROBBIE
Who approaches Jessica.
ROBBIE
It was nice of you to come.
JESSICA
I wouldn't have missed it.
Awkward.
ROBBIE
So, how are things with your dad?
(CONTINUED)
119.
104 CONTINUED: (2) 104
JESSICA
Strained. I took a summer
internship up at Stanford, gonna
head up there early. Figure it
can't hurt to get out of his line
of sight for a while.
ROBBIE
Yeah, probably a good idea.
(THEN)
You were a good baby-sitter,
Jessica. I'm sorry if I made you
uncomfortable.
He holds out his hand, to shake, formally.
JESSICA
Wait: I thought you weren't
giving up.
ROBBIE
I'm not. But I figure: you like
my dad, and one day I'll look like
my dad, so I'll just come for you
then.
Jessica smiles.
JESSICA
It's a good plan.
She looks over her shoulder, reaches into her purse.
JESSICA
Until then: a little graduation
gift. To help get you through
high school.
She hands him something in an ENVELOPE: the same type of
envelope she once used for...
Robbie peeks inside. His eyes BUG OUT. Jessica kisses
him, sweetly, on the cheek.
JESSICA
You take care, Robbie.
Robbie watches her go. Love-struck once more. Cal steps
up next to his son.
CAL
You okay, buddy?
(CONTINUED)
120.
104 CONTINUED: (3) 104
ROBBIE
(RE: ENVELOPE)
I am now, Dad. I am now.
Robbie runs off to join his friends. Cal smiles.
TRACY (O.S.)
I'm terrified of what's going to
become of him once he hits
puberty.
Cal turns, Tracy has been watching.
CAL
We might have to lock him up.
Tracy smiles. Cal walks over toward her.
TRACY
You gave a good eighth grade
graduation speech.
CAL
I've been working on it for thirty
years, so...
She LAUGHS, then... quiet.
TRACY
Do you think we can ever come back
from all this, Cal?
CAL
I don't know. I'd like to try
though. I know I'd like to try.
She nods, thinking.
TRACY
Things are just so messed up. And
it's been such a strange year.
I've been in such a strange place.
And we have all these problems, so
many problems I've lost count, but
at the end of the day, I mean, the
only thing I know --
She stops herself, emotional. Then, simply:
TRACY
I am just so glad you took me for
that ice cream.
Cal smiles. They share the moment in silence. And then:
(CONTINUED)
121.
104 CONTINUED: (4) 104
TRACY
It was rocky road by the way.
CAL
No!
As they JOKE and ARGUE about what flavor the ice cream
was, we PULL BACK.
Off to the side, Robbie steps away from his friends and
watches them enjoy one another's company.
He smiles.
FADE OUT.
THE END
Crazy, Stupid, Love
Writers : Dan Fogelman
Genres : Comedy Drama Romance
User Comments
Back to IMSDb
| screenplays |
How can you tell if a sugar is D/L in its chair form?
I'm having trouble determining if sugars are D/L in their chair forms. My textbook has generously provided this image of D-Glucose. ![enter image description here](https://i.stack.imgur.com/IjNqQ.png)
So I know that from the fischer, when I put everything into a chair view, the things on the left point up, and the things on the right point down.
However, what about the bottom $\ce{CH2OH}$ group. Which way does it point, and does it determine D/L in a ring? I'm imagining "rotating" all the groups 1 position over clockwise (does it matter if its clockwise/counterclockwise? How do you know which way to spin it?) such that the hydroxyl is now where the $\ce{CH2OH}$ was, H is on the right and $\ce{CH2OH}$ is on the left.
Does that sound right? I can vaguely remember this from high school, but it's become very clouded.
D-glucose stays D-glucose regardless of whether it is in chair (hemiacetal) form, open chain form, or any other minor form. These different forms (if you could isolate them) would likely have different specific rotation values (interaction with plane polarized light). There are two chair forms-one with an axial OH and the other equatorial (probably favored)--but both are forms of D-glucose.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
autophagy is induced downstream of signaling by danger receptors including toll like receptors ( tlr ; xu et al .
, 2007 ; delgado et al . , 2008 ) , retinoic acid inducible gene i - like receptors ( rlr ; yano et al . , 2008 ; cooney et al . , 2010 ; travassos et al . ,
xenophagy describes the process by which intracellular microbes are selectively degraded by autophagy ( levine , 2005 ) .
xenophagy eliminates bacteria that access the cytosol including streptococcus pyogenes ( nakagawa et al . , 2004 ) and mycobacterium tuberculosis ( gutierrez et al . ,
guerin ( bcg ) , autophagy facilitates the fusion of mycobacteria containing vacuoles with late endosomes / lysosomes to promote mycobacteria degradation ( singh et al . , 2006 ) .
salmonella - containing vacuoles are targeted by lc3 ( birmingham et al . , 2006 ) and can be engulfed by autophagosomes ( kageyama et al . , 2011 ) .
interestingly , recruitment of autophagy machinery to damaged bacterial vacuoles involves the exposure of host sugar residues that attract receptor galectin 8 ( thurston et al . , 2012 ) .
one example is the degradation of the sindbis virus capsid by the autophagy pathway ( orvedahl et al . , 2010 ) .
autophagy can also impair viral replication by trafficking cytosolic viral replication products to the endolysosomal compartment where they are detected by tlr and a type i interferon ( ifn ) response is triggered .
this is the case for vesicular stomatitis virus ( vsv ) infection of plasmacytoid dendritic cells ( pdc ; lee et al . , 2007 ) .
given its role in anti - viral defense , many viruses encode proteins to disable autophagy .
gammaherpes virus 68 ( ku et al . , 2008 ) , influenza a virus ( gannage et al . , 2009 ) ,
herpes simplex virus-1 ( hsv-1 ; orvedahl et al . , 2007 ) , human cytomegalovirus ( chaumorcel et al . ,
2012 ) , and human immunodeficiency virus ( hiv;kyei et al . , 2009 ) are examples of viruses that encode proteins to block autophagy initiation by interfering with beclin 1 activity
. other interesting examples of viral interference with the autophagy pathway include kaposi s sarcoma - associated herpesvirus encoded fadd - like interleukin-1 beta - converting enzyme ( flice)-like inhibitor protein that blocks interaction between lc3 and atg4 ( lee et al . , 2009 ) and
hiv nef that prevents autophagosomal maturation ( kyei et al . , 2009 ) . like viruses
l. monocytogenes , via the expression of acta , recruits host proteins to its surface to disguise itself from autophagic recognition ( yoshikawa et al . , 2009 )
similarly , shigella hides from the autophagy machinery by expressing icsb , that inhibits atg5 binding to the shigella surface ( ogawa et al . ,
this is particularly well described for interleukin ( il)-1 and il-18 , where the absence of autophagy exacerbates their secretion by murine macrophages when stimulated with pro - inflammatory compounds .
specifically , this has been described for beclin1 ( nakahira et al . , 2011 ) ,
lc3b ( nakahira et al . , 2011 ) , atg16l1 ( saitoh et al . , 2008 ) , and atg7 ( saitoh et al . , 2008 ) macrophages or following expression of inactive atg4b or due to treatment with the chemical autophagy inhibitor 3-methyladenine ( 3-ma ; saitoh et al . , 2008 ; harris et al . , 2011
) . enhanced secretion of il-1 also occurs when human peripheral blood mononuclear cells are stimulated in the presence of an impaired autophagy pathway due to treatment with 3-ma ( crisan et al . ,
conversely , stimulation of murine dc with rapamycin suppresses il-1 production in response to inflammatory stimuli ( harris et al . , 2011 ) .
rapamycin administration in vivo , inhibits the detected increase in il-1 but not il-12 , in the serum 4 h following lipopolysaccharide ( lps ) treatment ( harris et al . , 2011 ) .
stimuli that do include lps , or treatment of lps - primed macrophages with adenosine 5-triphosphate ( atp ) or monosodium urate ( msu ) .
salmonella typhimurium or muramyl dipeptide , a nucleotide - binding oligomerization domain - containing protein 2 ( nod2 ) ligand , do not provoke such a response ( saitoh et al .
ligands that engage tlr4 and to some extent those recognized by tlr3 , tlr7 , and tlr9 , but not tlr2 or tlr5 , elicit enhanced il-1 in autophagy - deficient macrophages ( saitoh et al . , 2008 ) .
in murine macrophages , excessive cytokine production following autophagy shutdown requires tir - domain containing adapter inducing ifn ( trif ) , an adapter molecule for tlr signaling ( saitoh et al . , 2008 ) , while in human cells the response is dependent on p38 mitogen activated protein kinase ( mapk ) phosphorylation ( crisan et al . , 2011 ) .
excessive il-1 secretion in the absence of autophagy is not associated with alterations in nfb activation ( saitoh et al . , 2008 ) .
importantly , exaggerated inflammatory cytokine production in the absence of autophagy translates to the development of severe disease in vivo .
atg16l1-deficient mice display enhanced inflammatory infiltrates in the distal colon , elevated il-1 , and il-18 serum levels and reduced survival in a dextran sulfate sodium induced model of experimental colitis ( saitoh et al . , 2008 ) .
lc3b - deficient mice exhibit enhanced susceptibility to lps - induced lethality ( nakahira et al . , 2011 )
, while both lc3b - deficient and beclin1 mice have increased il-1 and il-18 serum levels in response to cecal ligation and puncture - induced sepsis ( nakahira et al . , 2011 ) .
in addition to il-1/il-18 , the type i ifn pathway is also susceptible to modulation by autophagy . again
the absence of a functional autophagy pathway promotes amplified secretion of type i ifn in response to a given stimulus .
vsv infection of atg5-deficient murine embryonic fibroblasts ( mef ) elicits increased production of ifn , ifn , il-6 , and ip-10 and as such dramatically attenuates viral replication rendering cells resistant to infection ( jounai et al .
another example is atg9a - deficient mef that exhibit enhanced ifn production in response to stimulation with inflammatory double stranded dna ( saitoh et al . , 2009 ) .
therefore , autophagy has the potential to exert a critical influence on the regulation of pro - inflammatory cytokine production and downstream effector mechanisms of innate immunity .
the ability of autophagy to limit inflammatory cytokine production renders it a target pathway for pathogens to activate as a strategy to facilitate replication .
hepatitis c virus ( hcv ) is an example of a pathogen that is proposed to do this .
if hcv infection occurs in the absence of a functional autophagy pathway , hcv viral replication is severely attenuated due to the corresponding activation of the type i ifn pathway . therefore
, hcv infection elicits active autophagy in the infected cell , limiting type i ifn production and enabling successful viral replication ( ke and chen , 2011 ) . triggering autophagy is therefore a putative mode of immune escape .
pro - inflammatory stimuli induce the transcription of inactive precursors pro - il-1 or pro - il-18 .
cleavage of the inactive proteins into their active secreted forms requires the assembly of an inflammasome , a large protein complex that , under inflammatory conditions , processes pro - caspase-1 to caspase-1 .
active caspase-1 then cleaves pro - il-1 and pro - il-18 liberating the active cytokines for secretion by the cell . in mouse cells ,
the levels of precursor il-1 are not altered following lps stimulation in the absence of autophagy ( saitoh et al . , 2008 ) , rather there is an increase in the cleaved form of caspase-1 ( saitoh et al . , 2008 ;
in contrast , in human cells , transcription of il-1 is elevated ( crisan et al . ,
a major role for autophagy in inflammatory cytokine secretion is considered to be via its contribution to maintaining a healthy intracellular environment .
namely , autophagy has a pivotal role in the clearance and elimination of damaged and dysfunctional organelles .
studies have demonstrated autophagic degradation of depolarized mitochondria ( sandoval et al . , 2008 ) , expanded endoplasmic reticulum ( bernales et al . , 2006 ) , mature ribosomes ( kraft et al . , 2008 ; kundu et al . ,
the role of autophagy in the maintenance of mitochondrial integrity is a process known as mitophagy . in the absence of functional mitophagy , cells accumulate damaged mitochondria that produce high levels of reactive oxygen species ( ros ) , a side product of cellular respiration ( zhou et al . , 2011 ) .
the accumulation of damaged mitochondria is further exacerbated following stimulation with inflammatory compounds as observed for lc3b or beclin 1-deficient macrophages treated with lps plus atp ( nakahira et al .
, 2011 ) . without the autophagy pathway to remove these dysfunctional organelles , ros levels increase ( saitoh et al . , 2008 ) , a known trigger for the nucleotide binding domain , leucine rich - containing family , pyrin domain containing 3 ( nlrp3 ) inflammasome ( zhou et al . , 2011 ) .
damaged mitochondria also display increased membrane permeability with mitochondrial dna ( mtdna ) then being able to translocate to the cytosol .
mtdna is detected in higher abundance in the cytosol of lc3b and beclin 1-deficient macrophages , most notably following stimulation with lps plus atp ( nakahira et al . , 2011 ) .
as such , autophagy , by acting to maintain turnover of damaged organelles and preserving mitochondrial integrity , indirectly restricts excessive inflammatory cytokine production by removing endogenous triggers of the inflammasome .
the second mechanism by which autophagy controls inflammatory cytokine activity is through its direct interaction with proteins involved in inflammatory cascades . in this case , proteins are targeted by autophagosomes or the autophagy machinery .
following inflammasome induction , components of the absent in melanoma 2 ( aim2 ) inflammasome associate with p62 and beclin1 and exhibit k63-linked ubiquitination ( shi et al . , 2012 ) .
other examples of the direct targeting of inflammatory proteins by autophagy include the co - localization of the autophagosomal protein lc3 and il-1 in punctate autophagosomal structures following stimulation of bone marrow - derived macrophages with a variety of tlr ligands including lps , pam3cys , poly ( i : c ) , r837 , or cpg ( harris et al . , 2011 ) .
the authors suggest that autophagy limits il-1 secretion by facilitating its degradation in the auto - lysosome . a direct role for autophagy in modulating components of the type i ifn response is illustrated by several examples where the autophagy machinery targets proteins involved in this signaling cascade .
atg5atg12 directly interacts with the cytosolic viral rna sensor rig - i and the signaling molecule ifn promoter stimulator-1 ( ips-1 ) .
interaction with atg5atg12 blocks caspase recruitment domain ( card)-mediated signaling and the downstream production of type i ifn ( jounai et al . , 2007 ) .
another interesting example is stimulator of interferon genes ( sting ) , a molecule critical for type i ifn signaling .
atg9a is critical for the localization of sting to cytoplasmic punctae following treatment of cells with dsdna ( saitoh et al . , 2009 ) .
mislocalization of sting to the endoplasmic reticulum results in exacerbated ifn responses ( saitoh et al . , 2009 ) , although the specific details of why this is the case remain to be elucidated .
in contrast to il-1 , il-18 and type i ifn , mouse tumor necrosis factor ( tnf) and il-16 ( harris et al . , 2011 ) , and human tnf ( crisan et al . , 2011 ) production is inhibited when autophagy is suppressed .
this is the case for macrophages following stimulation with lps or pam3cys in the presence of 3-ma .
another example is the reduced production of il-8 by intestinal epithelial cells with silenced atg7 ( li et al . , 2011b ) .
the mechanism of why these cytokine pathways require autophagy may involve autophagic inhibition of p38 phosphorylation ( crisan et al . , 2011 )
. therefore the role of autophagy in modulating cytokine output is complex with its contribution varying for individual cytokines . another mechanism by which autophagy modulates inflammation is by restricting the expression of extracellular inflammatory signals . during programmed cell death
, autophagy enables the generation of a cellular corpse that is efficiently phagocytized and less likely to elicit detrimental inflammatory outcomes .
this is elegantly illustrated in a model of embryonic cavitation , where apoptotic embryonic stem cells lacking atg5 or beclin1 fail to exhibit critical engulfment signals ( qu et al .
these include failing to expose phosphatidylserine ( ps ) at the outer membrane and lack of secretion of the chemoattractant lysophosphatidylcholine . as a consequence ,
autophagy - deficient cellular corpses are not engulfed for clearance by immune cells . the failure to eliminate autophagy - deficient apoptotic corpses
excess apoptotic corpses are detected in the lungs and retina , together with the presence of an abnormal inflammatory infiltrate in these tissues .
interestingly , atg5 ( uhl et al . , 2009 ) , beclin1 ( li et al . , 2008 ) , or atg12
2008 ) cells loaded with antigen are less efficient at facilitating dc antigen presentation to cd8 t cells ( cross - presentation ) .
the requirement for autophagy in the display of engulfment signals is thought to be due to the pathway s role in maintaining cellular bioenergetics .
restoration of atp levels in autophagy - deficient cells by treatment with methylpyruvate restores corpse clearance ( qu et al . , 2007 ) .
induction of autophagy in dying cells also stimulates the release of immune modulator high mobility group b1 ( hmgb1 ; thorburn et al . , 2009 ) that promotes immunogenicity and removal of apoptotic corpses ( scaffidi et al . , 2002 ) .
proteolysis provides the peptide epitopes displayed by major histocompatibility complex ( mhc ) molecules to elicit t cell responses .
all nucleated cells utilize the proteasome , a multiproteolytic complex located in the cytosol that generates ligands for mhci presentation . in mhcii expressing cells , lysosomal proteases generate ligands for these molecules .
autophagy participates in generating the pool of peptides displayed by mhcii molecules due to its role in trafficking cytosolic proteins to the lysosomes , the same compartment where biosynthesis and loading of mhcii molecules occurs .
indeed , the autophagosomal protein lc3 co - localizes with mhcii loading compartments in dc ( schmid et al . , 2007 ) .
fusion of influenza matrix protein m1 ( schmid et al . , 2007 ) or the hemagglutinin ( ha ) site 1 epitope ( comber et al . , 2011 ) to lc3 enhances their presentation by mhcii to cd4 t cells as a result of the intersection of autophagosomes and mhcii loading compartments .
autophagy contribution to mhcii antigen presentation is further supported by detailed analysis of the steady state mhcii repertoire where up to a third of peptides displayed by mhcii are shown to be derived from cytoplasmic or nuclear sources ( chicz et al . , 1993 ; dongre et al . ,
2001 ) and would potentially rely on autophagy trafficking to access the mhcii loading compartment .
induction of autophagy increases the relative display of these peptides compared to those derived from membrane proteins ( dengjel et al .
peptides derived from lc3b and gamma - aminobutyric acid receptor - associated protein ( gabarap ) , components of the autophagy machinery are eluted from mhcii molecules ( dengjel et al . , 2005 ) .
there is now a growing list of antigens that are documented as being trafficked by autophagy for mhcii display .
these include self proteins together with virus and bacterial - derived antigens ( munz , 2009 ) .
the role of autophagy in presenting self antigen by mhcii , means that autophagy contributes to cd4 t cell selection in the thymus .
studies in which atg5 thymi were grafted into normal recipients elegantly illustrate that autophagy trafficking in thymic epithelial cells participates in the display of self antigen by mhcii ( nedjic et al . , 2008 ) .
transplant of atg5-deficient thymi into mhcii - restricted tcr transgenic hosts results in reduced positive selection of ha and sep - specific cd4 tcr t cells .
selection of and , do11.1 , or dep - specific cd4 tcr transgenic t cells , on the other hand , proceeds efficiently in the absence of autophagy .
autophagy is therefore considered to facilitate the thymic mhcii presentation of some self proteins but not others . in doing so
, autophagy contributes to the complex composition of the repertoire of mhcii epitopes that are displayed by the thymic epithelium .
the role for autophagy in thymic selection is further evidenced by an increase in ie5268ia complexes at the surface of cortical thymic epithelial cells that lack atg5 ( nedjic et al . , 2008 ) . in this case
, it is postulated that the removal of autophagy dependent endogenous epitopes due to the absence of atg5 , reduces competition and increases access of the ie peptide to mhcii .
in addition to autophagy shaping the cd4 t cell repertoire that emerges from the thymus , it also participates in effective cd4 t cell immunity during infection .
autophagy dependent - mhcii presentation of cytosolic model antigens has been described for complement c5 ( brazil et al . , 1997 ) , tumor antigen mucin 1 ( dorfel et al . , 2005 ) and neomycin phosphotransferase ( nimmerjahn et al . , 2003 ) where presentation is inhibited following treatment with 3-ma .
nuclear antigen 1 of epstein - barr virus ( ebna-1 ) is a prominent example of a viral - derived antigen that requires autophagy for presentation by mhcii ( paludan et al . , 2005 ) .
treatment with 3-ma or silencing of atg12 inhibits ebna-1 specific cd4 t cells from recognizing a lymphoblastoid cell line ( paludan et al . ,
antigen presenting cell types that utilize autophagy to deliver antigen for mhcii presentation include b cells ( brazil et al . , 1997 ) , macrophages ( brazil et al . , 1997 ) , and
dc ( schmid et al . , 2007 ; jagannath et al . , 2009 ; lee et al . ,
autophagy - mediated delivery of antigen for mhcii presentation to cd4 t cells means that triggering autophagy represents a promising immunotherapeutic strategy to promote robust cd4 t cell responses .
indeed , immunization with rapamycin - treated dc , enhances mhcii presentation and cd4 t cell immunity to the anti - tuberculosis bcg vaccine antigen ( jagannath et al . , 2009 ) .
this is an exciting outcome , with major implications for improving vaccine efficacy in multiple settings . whether autophagy exhibits selectivity in the substrates targeted
this is important if the autophagy pathway is to be manipulated for delivery of antigen to mhcii .
while basal autophagy initiated under starvation conditions is considered to be a non - selective process , autophagy initiated under steady state conditions in immune cells is considered to be selective .
a general observation is that long lived proteins are considered to be turned over by lysosomal proteolysis and hence are autophagy substrates , while the proteasome degrades short lived polypeptides ( henell et al . , 1987 ) .
aggregates of long lived poly - ubiquitinated proteins are known substrates of autophagy ( mizushima and klionsky , 2007 ) . of interest ,
protein aggregates form in activated dc ( lelouard et al . , 2002 ) and in macrophages following tlr4 stimulation ( fujita et al . , 2011 ) .
autophagy receptors have been described that act to recruit ubiquitinated proteins to autophagosomes via an lc3-interacting motif ( lir ) .
known autophagy receptors identified to date include p62/sequestosome1 ( komatsu et al . , 2007 ) , neighbour of brca1 ( nbr1 ) ( kirkin et al . ,
2009 ) , nuclear dot protein 52kda ( ndp52 ) ( thurston et al . , 2009 ) , and optineurin ( wild et al . , 2011 ) with all of these proteins possessing binding domains for both ubiquitin ( ubd ) and lc3 ( lir ) .
for example , p62 , optineurin , and ndp52 all target ubiquitinated salmonella enterica for destruction in lysosomes ( wild et al . , 2011 ) .
while optineurin and ndp52 colocalize , p62 binds to a separate subdomain of the ubiquitinated bacteria .
interestingly , optineurin is subject to phosphorylation by tank binding kinase ( tbk)1 , providing the molecular trigger to promote autophagic clearance of cytosolic bacteria ( wild et al . , 2011 ) .
identification of a growing number of autophagy receptors is exciting with the detail of the specific e3 ubiquitin ligases involved , the selective recognition of ubiquitin chains and their specific regulation by phosphorylation all remaining to be further studied .
somewhat unexpectedly , in addition to assisting the display of cytosolic antigen by mhcii molecules , autophagy also contributes to the presentation of extracellular antigen and phagocytosis .
individual components of the autophagy machinery are recruited to phagosomes in the presence of tlr signaling . during a process termed
( sanjuan and green , 2008 ) , lc3 is recruited to latex - bead phagosomes in macrophages , when beads are coupled with the tlr agonists lps or pam3cys or in response to phagosomes containing killed yeast particles ( zymosan ; sanjuan et al . , 2007 ) .
lap also contributes to the phagocytosis of apoptotic , necrotic , or receptor interacting kinase-3 ( ripk3)-necrotic cells with this response being triggered by the t cell immunoglobulin and mucin domain containing molecule ( tim)4 receptor ( martinez et al . , 2011 ) .
entosis , the engulfment of live cells , also involves localization of lc3 to the entotic vacuole ( florey et al . , 2011 ) .
the recruitment of lc3 to phagosomes requires other components of the autophagy machinery given that it does not take place in the absence of atg5 ( sanjuan et al .
, 2007 ; martinez et al . , 2011 ) , atg7 ( sanjuan et al . , 2007 ; martinez et al . , 2011 ) , or beclin-1 ( martinez et al . , 2011 )
the role of autophagy in extracellular phagocytosis and mhcii antigen presentation is evident given that atg5-deficient dc show impaired mhcii presentation of soluble and cell - associated antigen and elicit impaired cd4 t cell responses in response to antigens derived from herpes simplex virus-2 ( hsv-2 ; lee et al . ,
infection of atg5-deficient mice with hsv-2 results in a failure of atg5-deficient mice to mount protective cd4 t cell immunity and enhanced disease progression occurs ( lee et al . ,
autophagy also contributes to exogenous processing and mhcii presentation of hiv-1-derived protein ( blanchet et al . , 2010 ) .
the autophagy machinery is considered to contribute to phagocytosis by facilitating phagosome to lysosome fusion and the delivery of lysosomal proteases to phagosomes , required for effective antigen degradation .
extracts of phagosomes isolated from atg5-deficient dc displayed impaired cathepsin ( cat ) s , catb / l activity when assayed with fluorogenic substrates ( lee et al . , 2010 ) .
a contribution of autophagy to mhci antigen presentation is less obvious , given that the major proteolytic source of peptide generation for mhci is the proteasome and not lysosomal proteases .
indeed , there are several reports discarding a role for autophagy in mhci presentation of antigen derived from extracellular sources ( cross - presentation ; blanchet et al .
one report demonstrates the requirement for autophagy in macrophage mhci presentation of glycoprotein b ( gb ) , a hsv-1-derived protein ( english et al . , 2009 ) .
in this case , treatment with 3-ma or silencing of atg5 reduced presentation of gb by macrophages late after infection .
gb is proposed to be trafficked from the nuclear envelope to the autophagosome from where its escapes for degradation by the proteasome and mhci display . whether this applies only to hsv-1 infection , macrophages , or
another example is the cross - presentation of antigen loaded al2o3 nanoparticles ( li et al . ,
mhci presentation of al2o3 nanoparticles loaded with ova is inhibited following 3-ma treatment or silencing of atg12 or beclin1 .
the mechanism is unknown , however internalized nanoparticles are shown to access autophagosomes that are considered to be immunogenic ( li et al . , 2008 ) .
autophagy may also impact mhci presentation by degrading mhci molecules themselves ( li et al . , 2010 ) .
an important contribution of autophagy to adaptive immunity is its cell intrinsic role in lymphocyte survival .
an active autophagy pathway operates in t cells , with autophagosomes detected , particularly following activation via the t cell receptor ( tcr ) ( espert et al .
analysis of t cell compartments in atg5-deficient mice illustrates a role for autophagy in mature t cell survival ( pua et al . , 2007 ) . while thymus cellularity is reduced in the absence of atg5 , thymocyte development is unperturbed . in the periphery ,
reduced numbers of cd4 and cd8 t cells are present in the spleen and lymph node .
the cd8 t cell compartment is more affected , with a large proportion of atg5-deficient cd8 t cells staining with annexin v , indicative of cells undergoing early apoptosis .
both cd4 and cd8 t cells that survive in the absence of atg5 display proliferative defects following tcr stimulation , with fewer cells undergoing division , and fewer divisions completed in response to anti - cd3 compared with wildtype t cells .
the proliferative defect is not rescued by anti - cd28 or il-2 and the cells display normal levels of tcr and upregulate t cell activation markers cd69 and cd25 .
a similar phenotype is observed in atg7lck - cre mice where the specific deletion of atg7 in the t cell lineage results in mostly normal thymocyte development , however cd4 and cd8 t cell numbers are greatly reduced in the peripheral lymphoid compartment .
both subsets of peripheral t cells display evidence of apoptosis ; with a large proportion staining with annexin v and exhibiting caspase 9 activity .
impaired t cell survival in the absence of autophagy is likely to arise from its pivotal role in maintaining intracellular organelle integrity .
atg7-deficient t cells possess increased numbers of mitochondria and increased ros levels ( pua et al . , 2009 ) .
for the b cell compartment , the absence of atg5 impairs b cell development in the bone marrow , with reduced survival of pre - b cells and consequently reduced numbers of mature b-1a cells in the periphery ( miller et al . , 2008 ) . in some settings
examples include autophagy - mediated t cell death following growth factor withdrawal ( li et al .
, 2006 ) and following binding of the hiv-1 envelope protein to c - x - c chemokine receptor 4 ( espert et al . ,
therefore , autophagy serves as a critical pathway in lymphocytes that facilitates the intricate balance between survival and death .
the critical impact of autophagy on effector functions of innate and adaptive immunity outlined herein , is highlighted by the association of autophagy gene mutations with increased incidence of inflammatory disease , susceptibility to microbial infection and autoimmune disease .
a prominent example is atg16l1 , a susceptibility gene for crohn s disease ( massey and parkes , 2007 ) , where the small intestine exhibits chronic inflammation triggered by a breakdown in the clearance of commensal bacteria .
atg16l1-deficient paneth cells possess elevated pro - inflammatory cytokine transcripts , while atg16l1-deficient mice develop exacerbated intestinal inflammation following environmental triggers , similar to that observed in human patients ( cadwell et al . , 2008 ) .
other examples include cystic fibrosis , a chronic inflammatory disease of the pulmonary airways , where autophagy - mediated maintenance of lung epithelial cell homeostasis is important to limit lung inflammation and disease ( luciani et al . , 2010 ) .
autophagy is also postulated to contribute to inflammation - associated responses underlying metabolic diseases , such as obesity ( yang et al . , 2010 ) . in infectious disease settings ,
irgm , a human immunity - related gtpase that plays a critical role in regulating autophagy - mediated clearance of mycobacteria , is a genetic risk factor for tuberculosis ( intemann et al . , 2009 ) . finally , a link between single nucleotide polymorphisms in the atg5 gene and susceptibility to systemic lupus erythematosus
, a debilitating autoimmune disease has been reported ( gateva et al . , 2009 ) .
the emergence of often surprising roles for autophagy in diseases of the immune system means that a wide range of immune - related diseases may now be amenable to targeting by autophagy modulating drugs . as such studies of autophagy in innate and adaptive pathways provide excellent insights into this complex pathway , uncovering new roles for autophagy in disease .
the authors declare that the research was conducted in the absence of any commercial or financial relationships that could be construed as a potential conflict of interest . | pubmed |
kocuria rhizophila is a gram - positive , coccoid , and spherical bacterium belonging to the family micrococcaceae in the phylum actinobacteria , and was designated as a new species by kovcs and coworkers 1 .
members of the genus kocuria have been isolated from a wide variety of natural sources , and k. rhizophila in particular , was found to have important industrial applications .
k. rhizophila has been utilised as the standard quality control strain for antimicrobial susceptibility testing 2 and also as a decolorizing agent of industrial dyes 3 .
our strain was isolated from sungai gabai , selangor , malaysia and analysis of the genome revealed the presence of an aromatic compound degradation pathway .
initially , the genomic dna of k. rhizophila tpw45 was extracted using masterpure complete dna and rna purification kit ( epicentre , inc . , madison , wi , usa ) according to the manufacturer 's recommended protocol .
subsequently , the quality of dna was examined using the nanodrop 2000 spectrophotometer ( thermo scientific ) and quantified using qubit 2.0 fluorometer ( life technologies ) . for whole - genome sequencing of k. rhizophila tpw45
, the library was prepared using illumina nextera dna sample preparation kit as per manufacturer 's guidelines .
the sequencing of this strain was then performed on the illumina hiseq 2500 ( illumina , inc .
, ca ) using a paired - end library with an average insert size of 702 bp , obtaining 3,407,419 raw reads of 100 bp in length . after trimming , de novo assembly of the genome
was performed using clc genomics workbench 7.0 4 while the genome annotation was performed using rapid annotation using subsystem technology ( rast ) 5 .
the assembled genome consists of 2,701,701 bases across 46 contigs with an n50 contig length of 114,097 bases .
the average genome coverage was found to be 202.76. the assembled genome was found to have a g + c content of 70.6% , falling within the range of known k. rhizophila genomes ( table 1 ) .
there were 2,349 predicted coding dna sequences ( cds ) , whereas a total of 50 trnas were predicted using trnascan - se 6 , and 4 rrnas was identified by using rnammer 7 .
this draft genome revealed a putative gene cluster involved in aromatic compound degradation that encodes a phenylacetatic acid ( paa ) pathway .
this paa gene cluster was found in contig 17 of our strain and the gene arrangement was found to be similar to that of k. rhizophila strain dc2201 , which is a closely related strain ( figure 1 ) .
phenylacetate or phenylacetyl - coenzyme a ( coa ) can be found as a derivative product from many substrates namely phenylalanine , 2-phenylethylamine , some phenylalkanoic acids , and also pollutants such as styrene and ethylbenzene .
8 the paa pathway proceeds via phenylacetyl - coa and ring fission is hydrolysed via a multicomponent oxygenase encoded by paaghijk . 9 in summary , phenylacetate
degradation has been more widely studied in proteobacteria such as escherichia spp . and pseudomonas spp .
8 we hope that this genome sequence of strain tpw45 will provide more insight into the phenylacetate degradation pathway by k. rhizophila
. further analysis of this genome and supporting experimental evidence will be needed to support this prediction and further understand the process of aromatic compound degradation by bacteria via paa catabolism .
the whole genome shotgun project has been deposited in ddbj / embl / genbank under accession number jwtc00000000.1 . | pubmed |
{{Infobox college basketball team
|name = New Mexico Lobos
|current = 201920 New Mexico Lobos men's basketball team
|logo = New Mexico Lobos wordmark.svg
|logo_size = 250
|university = University of New Mexico
|conference = Mountain West
|location = Albuquerque, New Mexico
|coach = Paul Weir
|tenure = 3rd
|arena = Dreamstyle Arena
|capacity = 15,411
|nickname = Lobos
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|3_shorts = BA0C2F
|3_pattern_s =_maroontop
|NCAAchampion =
|NCAAfinalfour =
|NCAAsweetsixteen = 1968, 1974
|NCAAroundof32 = 1978, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2010, 2012
|NCAAtourneys = 1968, 1974, 1978, 1991, 1993, 1994, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2005, 2010, 2012, 2013, 2014
|nit_runnerup = 1964
|nit_finalfour = 1964, 1990
|nit_quarterfinal = 1964, 1965, 1967, 1988, 1989, 1990, 1992, 2001
|nit_secondround = 1964, 1967, 1985, 1988, 1989, 1990, 1992, 2000, 2001, 2009, 2011
|nit_appearance = 1964, 1965, 1967, 1973, 1979, 1984, 1985, 1986, 1987, 1988, 1989, 1990, 1992, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2008, 2009, 2011
|conference_season =Border Conference1944, 1945
Western Athletic Conference 1964, 1968, 1974, 1978, 1994Mountain West Conference2009, 2010, 2012, 2013
|conference_tournament =Western Athletic Conference 1993, 1996
Mountain West Conference 2005, 2012, 2013, 2014
}}
The New Mexico Lobos men's basketball team represents the University of New Mexico, competing in the Mountain West Conference MWC in NCAA Division I. UNM established basketball as a varsity sport in 1899 and began competing with regional colleges after establishing an athletics department in 1920.
Lobo basketball first achieved national prominence after Bob King was hired as head coach in 1962. King transformed a moribund program into a consistent winner and produced future ABA MVP Mel Daniels. The Lobos won the Western Athletic Conference WAC championship in 1964 and 1968, making frequent appearances in national rankings. The team reached the NIT tournament final in 1964 and received its first bid to the NCAA tournament in 1968. The success of the program continued after King departed, winning WAC titles in 1974, 1978, and 1994, winning the conference tournament in 1993 and 1996, and regularly earning post-season tournament bids.
The Lobos became frequent participants in the NCAA tournament during the 1990s and have made 15 appearances overall, as well as 19 NIT appearances. They have won the MWC regular season championship and the conference tournament four times each. In addition to Daniels, other prominent players produced by the Lobo program include five-time NBA champion Michael Cooper, three-time NBA champion Luc Longley, NBA all-star Danny Granger, and Kenny Thomas.
The most renowned enduring feature of the Lobo basketball program is its home venue, known as The Pit, recognized as one of the best college basketball arenas in the country.Lobo Basketball 2013-14 Media Guide, p.2, New Mexico Athletics. The Pit opened in 1966 and the Lobos have been dominant playing there, winning over 80 percent of their games, while regularly placing among national leaders in attendance. The arena has frequently hosted NCAA tournament games, including the 1983 NCAA Final Four that featured one of the most memorable finishes in tournament history.
Coaching history
Roy W. Johnson 192060
Roy Johnson, nicknamed Old Iron Head, was fundamental to the early development of Lobo athletics. Johnson arrived in 1920 after a successful athletic career at the University of Michigan. The UNM gymnasium at the time was a small wooden building where the walls were out-of-bounds markers for basketball games. Basketball was primarily an intramural sport, with occasional games against other schools, including Albuquerque High School, and no regular schedule. Johnson set about building collegiate-level athletics facilities, performing some of the hard labor with his own hands. He oversaw construction of Carlisle Gymnasium in 1928 and Zimmerman Field in 1938, the first football stadium at UNM.
During his nearly 40 years at UNM, Johnson coached every men's sport the school offered, while teaching physical education. A decorated veteran who served in World Wars I and II, he was the UNM athletic director from 1920-49. He established regularly scheduled games against regional colleges, and in 1931 UNM joined the Border Conference as a founding member. Johnson coached the UNM basketball team for all but two seasons from 1920-40. From 1924-34, his teams posted a 10438 .732 record. The Lobos won 165 games with Johnson as head basketball coach, a school record for over 30 years and currently third on its all-time list.
Johnson stepped down as head basketball coach after the 1939-40 season. The position passed to a few different coaches before Woody Clements took over from 194451 and 195355, compiling a record of 113-119 .487. The Lobos won the Border Conference in 1944 and 1945, and they appeared in the NAIA post-season tournament in 1947, losing to Hamline University in the first round. From 1951-62, the Lobos competed in the Mountain States Conference, known at the time as the Skyline Eight. In 1957, while still on faculty, Johnson oversaw construction of the 7,800-seat arena that bears his name, Johnson Gymnasium.Roy W. Johnson, Johnson Center photo, New Mexico's Digital Collections, University Libraries, Center for Regional Studies, University of New Mexico. For many years, Johnson Gym was the most prominent feature of the UNM campus for those driving along Central Avenue in Albuquerque, part of historic U.S. Route 66.
Bob King 196272
Lobo basketball first achieved national prominence under Bob King, who was previously an assistant coach at his alma mater, the University of Iowa. The Lobos had only two winning seasons from 194762, compiling a 113252 .310 record, including a dismal 42149 .220 during the last eight years. King had an immediate impact on the program. The Lobos won as many games in his first two seasons as in the previous seven combined and went 11644 .725 over his first six seasons. They went 17589 .663 in ten seasons with King as head coach, winning two conference titles and making four appearances in post-season tournaments.
New Mexico joined the Western Athletic Conference WAC as a founding member before King's first season. His first team went 16-9, the best Lobo record in 17 years. The following season, 196364, the Lobos won their first WAC championship, led by Ira Harge, who King had recruited from a junior college in Iowa. The team posted wins over Kansas and at Purdue and received a berth in the 1964 National Invitation Tournament NIT at Madison Square Garden in New York City. The Lobos defeated Drake and NYU before falling to Bradley in the championship game, finishing with a 23-6 record and ranked 16th in the UPI poll. Harge averaged 18.8 points and 11.8 rebounds a game during his two seasons at UNM and was selected in the second round of the 1964 NBA draft by the Philadelphia 76ers.
The rise of the program continued in the 196465 season, led by sophomores Mel Daniels and Ben Monroe. After an early loss at Kansas, the Lobos won ten straight, later building a 19-3 record and attaining a #10 national ranking, their first appearance in the AP poll. They dropped their next four games on the road, however, including a one-point loss at #10 BYU. They were again invited to the NIT, where they lost to St. John's to finish 19-8. Daniels averaged over 17 points and 11 rebounds a game, providing the fast-growing Lobo fan base a preview of things to come. Due to the success of King's first three seasons, attendance at Johnson Gym more than doubled, and plans to build a larger arena began to take shape.Media Guide 2013-14, pp.93,96. In the 196566 season, Daniels averaged 21 points and 10 rebounds a game, and the Lobos raced out to an 11-1 record after beating #7 BYU. They faltered down the stretch though and finished 16-8, completing the team's best four-year stretch in nearly forty seasons.
University Arena opened as the home venue of the Lobos on December 1, 1966. Because the playing surface is 37 feet below grade, students nicknamed the arena The Pit, and the nickname stuck. The team began the 196667 season ranked 6th in the country and rose to #5 before winning at #2 UTEP, the defending national champion and highest-ranked team New Mexico had ever beaten at that point.UTEP was still known as Texas Western at the time, shortly before changing its name in 1967. The Lobos reached #3 with an 11-1 record but then lost four straight and fell out of the rankings. Despite a disappointing WAC campaign, they received a bid to the NIT. The Lobos beat Syracuse in the first round before losing to Rutgers, finishing the season 19-8 and ranked #18 in the UPI. Daniels averaged 21.5 points and 11.6 rebounds a game, finishing his career with a still-team record 44 double-doubles, and he became the first Lobo to be named as an All-American. He was selected as the ninth pick overall in the 1967 NBA draft by the Cincinnati Royals, but he chose to play in the fledgling American Basketball Association ABA, becoming one of its greatest all-time players. He was named the first ABA Rookie of the Year in 1968, ABA Most Valuable Player in 1969 and 1971, and he led the Indiana Pacers to three ABA championships.
Stoking the popularity of Lobo basketball by this time was the success of two longtime rivals. New Mexico began playing New Mexico State in 1904, currently totaling over 200 games; they first played UTEP in 1929, with over 140 games total. Don Haskins took over at UTEP in 1961 and led the Miners to a 12832 .800 record in his first six seasons, including a 28-1 national championship season in 1965-66. New Mexico State hired Lou Henson as head coach in 1966, and like the Lobos under King, in his second season the Aggies began achieving national rankings and post-season tournament appearances. They went 74-14 .841 from 196770, including a 27-3 season in 196970 in which they were ranked in the top five most of the year, culminating in a Final Four appearance. The Lobos, Aggies, and Miners played one another twice every season, home-and-away, and a fierce rivalry grew among them. The teams were frequently ranked in national polls, giving their games a showdown quality extending beyond local bragging rights to the national stage.
The Lobos lost Daniels and Monroe to graduation and were picked in the 196768 preseason to finish last in the WAC. Instead, they started the season 17-0, rising to #6 before beating #5 Utah in the Pit, propelling the Lobos to #4. Four starters averaged in double-figures in scoring, led by senior guard Ron Nelson at 19.5 points a game.Media Guide 2013-14, p.100. They swept their regular season match-ups against New Mexico State, with both teams ranked in the top ten at the time of their second game. The Lobos won the WAC championship, Nelson was named a Helms All-American, and the Lobos earned their first NCAA tournament appearance. They entered the tournament 23-3 and ranked #6. They hosted their first-round game in The Pit but lost to unranked Santa Clara. Starting center Greg Stretch Howard was ineligible due to an NCAA rule disallowing transfers to play in postseason games; without his 14 points and 10 rebounds a game, the Lobos' balanced attack withered, and Nelson was their only consistent offense.Media Guide 2013-14, pp.114,116. Also playing in the first round at The Pit, New Mexico State lost to eventual champion UCLA, then won the consolation game over the Lobos, who finished the season 23-5.
The 196869 season began with high expectations and the Lobos ranked in the top ten, but they dropped out after a string of road losses. Howard led a young team, scoring 19.7 per game, with sophomores Willie Long and Petie Gibson beginning their runs as three-year starters. The Lobos swept #8 New Mexico State, with Gibson hitting a memorable last-second shot in the latter game, leading to a brief return to the national rankings. The team finished the season 17-9 but failed to receive an NIT berth. The Lobos slumped to a 42-36 record over the next three seasons. Long averaged 23.9 points a game both his junior and senior seasons, earning all-WAC honors both seasons and all-American recognition in 1971. He finished with career averages of 19.8 points and 10.2 rebounds per game, and his 23 double-doubles in 196970 still stands as the Lobo season record. Gibson compiled career averages of over 11 points and seven assists per game, still holding UNM records for career assists per game and four other assists categories.Gibson later taught in the Albuquerque Public School system for more than three decades, gaining recognition as a mentor and role model, and he was named to the New Mexico Sports Hall of Fame in 2000. Petie Gibson, Profile, New Mexico Sports Hall of Fame.
After the 197172 season, assistant coach Norm Ellenberger was elevated to head coach, and King served as Assistant Athletics Director the next season. King then left to become head coach and Athletics Director at Indiana State University. In 1976, he recruited future NBA Hall of Famer Larry Bird to ISU, where he led the Sycamores to a 48-12 record in his first two seasons. King suffered a heart attack and brain aneurysm shortly before Bird's senior season, however, and his assistant, Bill Hodges, led the team to the 1979 Final Four, where they lost to Michigan State in the championship game. King continued as AD until retiring the next year.
Bob King transformed the New Mexico program, becoming known as the Architect of Lobo Basketball. Since his arrival at UNM, the Lobos have won over sixty percent of their games and earned over thirty berths to post-season tournaments, while suffering only five losing seasons. In 1992, UNM announced that the basketball court at University Arena would be named in honor of King. Bob King Court was dedicated at formal ceremonies on December 1, 1992, the 26th anniversary of the opening of The Pit. Coach King died on December 10, 2004.
Norm Ellenberger 197279
Under Norm Ellenberger, the Lobos won WAC championships in 1974 and 1978 and compiled an overall record of 134-62 .684. Ellenberger was named head coach in March 1972 after serving as an assistant under King since 1967. It was Ellenberger's first Division I head coaching position, but he made up for what he lacked in experience with energy and enthusiasm. The program thrived, and Ellenberger became a local celebrity, restaurateur, and man-about-town, earning the nickname Stormin' Norman for his flashy attire and fiery coaching style.Mark Smith, Lobos went Stormin' with Norman, Albuquerque Journal, June 23, 2013.William C. Dowling, Confessions of a Spoilsport: My Life and Hard Times Fighting Sports Corruption at an Old Eastern University 2007, p.13.
Like King, Ellenberger got off to a fast start in his first two seasons. In 1972-73, the Lobos raced out to a 9-0 record, including road wins at Oregon State and eventual Southwest Conference champion Texas Tech, leading to their first appearance in the national rankings in nearly four years.Media Guide 2013-14, p.84. The team was led by the strong inside scoring and rebounding of Darryl Minniefield, Bernard Hardin, and Mark Saiers. In late February the Lobos were 21-3, ranked #15, and leading the WAC, before losing their last two games and finishing second in conference. The Lobos returned to the NIT, losing to eventual champion Virginia Tech and finishing 21-6.
The 197374 Lobos began the season 12-0, launching them to a #8 ranking. Hardin led the way, averaging 17 points a game, and the team became the highest scoring Lobo squad to date at over 84 points a game. Bill Hagins replaced Minniefield, and the team was again dominant inside. After a string of road losses, the Lobos recovered to win six of seven and secure the WAC championship in a strong season for the league when five of eight teams were ranked at some point. The Lobos earned their second trip to the NCAA tournament and tallied their first tournament victory, downing Idaho State before losing to San Francisco in the second round. They beat Dayton in the regional consolation game to finish the season 22-7 and ranked #18 in the UPI.Media Guide 2013-14, p.85 Attendance at The Pit surged to its best ever, a trend that would continue throughout the Ellenberger years, regularly earning placement among the top five in the nation.Media Guide 2013-14, p.4. The top six largest crowds ever at The Pit were during this period.
The 197475 Lobo team was depleted by graduation and slipped to a 13-13 record. Ellenberger began relying heavily on recruiting Junior College JC transfers, a tactic that would lead to his best season as Lobo coach but later to his downfall. The 197576 team improved to 16-11 with a largely mercenary squad of JC transfers who would later quit the team before the end of the season. A memorable highlight of the season was the first game in a brief but intense rivalry with UNLV before the teams were in the same conference. Ellenberger was well-respected as a teacher of defense, and he was a frequent participant in basketball coaching camps and workshops, where he became friends with UNLV coach Jerry Tarkanian. In January 1976, #4 UNLV survived a scare from the underdog Lobos before a Pit-record crowd of 19,452, with fans overflowing onto the concourse and sitting in the stairways, a game still lauded as one of the greatest and loudest ever in The Pit.
The 197677 team featured JC arrivals Michael Cooper, Marvin Johnson, and Willie Howard, the nucleus for a successful and exciting two-year run. Cooper is among the best overall players ever produced by the Lobo program and was named an All-American in 1978. He averaged 16 points and five rebounds a game as a Lobo, also leading the team in assists and steals. Coop later became a mainstay of the Showtime Los Angeles Lakers of the 1980s, winning five NBA championships over a 12-year career. His defensive prowess made him an eight-time recipient of NBA All-Defensive Team honors, as well as the Defensive Player of the Year Award in 1987. By contrast, Marvin Automatic Johnson was one of the greatest scorers in Lobo history. He became the fourth leading scorer in school history at the time in just two seasons, set single season records for total points, season points per game 24.0, career points per game 21.9, and he scored a still-school record 50 points in a single game.Johnson had established the school record at 46 points earlier in the season before his 50-point performance, which broke the WAC conference single-game record and earned him the Sports Illustrated Player of the Week honor. Media Guide 2013-14, p.81. Willie Howard was a talented inside player averaging 13 points and six rebounds a game, frequently providing explosive scoring off the bench.Rick Wright, 78 loss as painful as it gets for Lobos, Albuquerque Journal, Mar. 24, 2013. Further JC transfers Jimmy Allen and Will Smiley completed a strong Lobo front line. The injection of talent made the Lobos exciting and competitive, but they took time to gel as a team, beginning the season 6-4 with a couple of disappointing losses. They beat Iowa and USC on the way to another showdown with #9 UNLV, losing a high-scoring game, then losing to #10 Arizona. The Lobos remained in the WAC race late in the season, but road struggles relegated them to third place and a 19-11 final record.
Before the 197778 season, Ellenberger installed what he called the Equal Opportunity Motion Offense, a run-and-gun attack emphasizing picks and passing as players rotate through each position, taking advantage of his versatile, athletic lineup. The scheme also employed a full-court pressing, trapping defense to generate points off of turnovers. The team played at a frenetic pace and led the nation in scoring at 97.5 points per game. Phil Abney and Russell Saunders were JC additions; Abney initially backed up Howard but later moved into the starting line-up. The Lobos stood at 7-2 after losing to #10 Syracuse, then rattled off 14 straight wins, including a home-and-away sweep of #9 UNLV, pushing them into the national rankings and eventually into the top ten. Attendance at The Pit jumped to over 17,000 a game, second most in the nation, as fan enthusiasm soared. The Lobos won their fourth WAC championship with a 13-1 league record, losing only at ranked Utah, and entered the NCAA tournament ranked #5 and seeded second in the West Regional, with the opportunity to play in The Pit for the regional final with a win. They were upset in the first round by unranked Cal State Fullerton, however, in another disappointing tournament performance. The Lobos finished the season 24-4 and ranked #12, and Ellenberger was voted runner-up for the US Basketball Writers Coach of the Year award.
The 197879 Lobo squad returned starters Abney and Saunders while adding another strong JC class including Larry Belin. The team began the season 8-3 but struggled away from The Pit, losing its first seven road games. The team finally broke through, winning another exciting game at UNLV, beginning a string of nine wins in its last ten games. The strong finish earned the Lobos an NIT bid, where they lost to Texas A&M, finishing the season 19-10. The 197980 roster appeared once again loaded with talent, and fan expectations were again high, but disaster struck the program in the early weeks of the season as the Lobogate scandal unfolded. Leading players like Belin lost eligibility and were dropped from the team. Ellenberger was fired on December 17, 1979, and the season continued with the remaining players not caught up in the scandal, along with several walk-ons.
Lobogate
The Lobogate scandal involved forged academic transcripts, payments made for bogus Junior College credits, and other devices to attain eligibility for players who lacked academic credentials. In an investigation into illegal gambling, the FBI had placed a wiretap on the phone of a major Lobo booster. While Ellenberger was visiting this booster, in November 1979, he took a call on the tapped phone from assistant coach Manny Goldstein. They discussed an arrangement to transfer bogus credits from a California Junior College to the office of the UNM registrar. Based on this conversation, the FBI launched an investigation that led to a federal indictment of Ellenberger on seven counts of fraud and forgery of academic transcripts, though he was acquitted of those charges at trial. In July 1981, however, he was convicted by a state District Court on 21 of 22 counts of fraud and submitting false public vouchers. The judge deferred sentence for a year, noting that it was unfair for Ellenberger alone to bear culpability, and all counts were formally dismissed in 1983.Dave Anderson, Sports of the Times; in The Pit, Lobogate Lives, The New York Times, April 3, 1983.
The NCAA investigation into the scandal found 34 violations of recruiting rules, and the Lobo program was placed on probation and banned from post-season appearances for three years. Six players were dismissed from the team in the opening weeks of the 1979-80 season, and another was suspended. The damage to the program was devastating, as it was forced to rebuild virtually from scratch, beginning in mid-season.
While the criminal charges were cleared from Ellenberger's record, he would never be a college head coach again. Despite the scandal, Ellenberger managed to remain popular in Albuquerque, running a nightclub, appearing in TV commercials, and coaching the city's Continental Basketball Association team some fans even wanted him to be rehired as Lobo coach.Curt Holbreich, Lobos Going From Pit Toward the Penthouse, Los Angeles Times, January 14, 1988. In 1986, former rival and longtime friend Don Haskins hired Ellenberger as his lead assistant at UTEP, where he would coach for four years.Ellenberger served as interim head coach at UTEP for a period when Haskins was ill. Bobbi Roquemore, Ellenberger enjoys the simple life, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, February 25, 2004. He then became the lead assistant for Bobby Knight at Indiana for ten seasons, from 19902000, and later coached in the NBA and WNBA.
Charlie Harrison 197980
When Ellenberger was fired in December 1979, lead assistant Charlie Harrison was elevated to head coach for the remainder of the season. Only four scholarship players remained on the team, so a campus tryout filled out the roster with walk-ons. The team limped to a 622 record. One stand-out was Kenny Page, a transfer from Ohio State. Page was the only consistent offensive threat on the team, averaging 28 points a game, still the Lobo record for best season average. Harrison and his players gained fan appreciation for persevering under difficult circumstances, but he served primarily as a caretaker until a new head coach was named.
Gary Colson 198088
Gary Colson rebuilt the Lobo program virtually from scratch after Lobogate, restoring its integrity and eventually its success on the court. Colson inherited a program under NCAA sanctions, with only three players remaining on scholarship. While he initially relied on JC transfers to fill the roster, he also began the slow process of rebuilding the program around freshmen recruits, with a greater emphasis on academics. Colson adhered strictly to NCAA rules, as UNM officials watched the program closely, wary of falling back into disfavor with the NCAA. Colson later stated that he felt tremendous pressure to push the rules, and knew other coaches who were doing so and succeeding, but his personal integrity kept him from doing so, an attitude appreciated by his players.
In their first three seasons under Colson, the Lobos struggled to a 39-44 combined record. Four-year starting PG Phil Smith led those early teams, averaging 14 points, six assists, and two steals per game over his career, setting then-records for highest scoring freshman, most steals in a season, and most career assists. A highlight of Colson's first season was his fourth game as head coach, hosting an Arizona State team that would reach #3 in the nation led by future NBA players Byron Scott, Fat Lever, Alton Lister, and Sam Williams. The callow Lobo squad led for much of the game, encouraged by a delirious crowd at The Pit. The Sun Devils battled back to tie the game at the end of regulation before escaping with a win in OT, 86-83.Anthony Cotton, The Week, SI Vault, December 22, 1980. Despite the struggles of the team, attendance at The Pit actually improved in Colson's early years, remaining in the top four nationally.
The 198384 Lobos relied almost exclusively on four senior starters, led by Smith and Tim Garrett, to the point that they took over the top four positions in school history for minutes played in a season.1983-84 New Mexico Lobos Roster and Stats, Sports-Reference.com. The Lobos opened the season with two losses before beating USC and Washington and winning at #7 UCLA. The plucky squad lacked depth, but its veterans found ways to win, building a 16-4 record. The team frequently slowed their games to a crawl, with several league games ending with both teams scoring under 50 points, such as a win at Wyoming, 40-38. The Lobos averaged 63.7 ppg, their lowest output since 1958-59, while holding opponents to 59.2 ppg, the lowest since Bob King's early years. Top ten-ranked UTEP foiled the Lobos, however, sweeping their regular season match-ups and knocking them out of the WAC tournament. Smith was named All-WAC, and Colson was named WAC Coach of the Year. The Lobos returned to the NIT, losing at The Pit to Lamar and finishing the season 24-11. The NIT appearance began a streak of eleven straight years of reaching post-season play.
The Lobos in 198485 were led by JC transfer forward Johnny Brown 18.8 points and 6.3 rebounds per game and senior center George Scott 14 points and 6.6 rebounds, along with a nucleus of sophomores, including guards Hunter Greene and Kelvin Scarborough, who both scored in double figures. The Lobos beat a good Arizona team before losing a close game to #1 Georgetown, led by Patrick Ewing, the first time the Lobos had faced a top-ranked opponent.Media Guide 2013-14, p.85. The team slipped to 6-5 before winning eight out of nine, gaining a share of the WAC lead. They then lost five of six to finish in a tie for third. They beat Texas A&M in the NIT before losing at Fresno State to finish the season 19-13. Brown again led the Lobos in 198586 with 20.9 points and 7.5 rebounds a game, earning All-WAC recognition.Brown compiled career averages of 19.9 points and 6.9 rebounds a game. Media Guide 2013-14, p.91. Scott was lost to graduation, Greene sat out the season injured, and the inexperienced team struggled badly on the road. They nevertheless reached the NIT, losing to Texas and finishing 17-14.
The 198687 season was the most successful for Colson as Lobo coach. Greene returned to average 21 points and six rebounds a game, while Scarborough added 19 points and six assists. The Lobos scored over eighty points a game and set the team record for most total points in a season. They also established still-standing records for steals in a season as a team, Greene for steals by a player in a season, and Scarborough for career steals.Scarborough at 3rd and Greene tied for 4th also remain among the all-time leaders for minutes played in a season. Media Guide 2013-14, p.79. The Lobos logged wins over Texas and Oklahoma State on the way to a 17-5 record. They then lost three league road games and fell to third in a tight WAC race. The Lobos reached the final of the WAC tournament but lost to Wyoming, which went on to reach the Sweet Sixteen in the NCAA tournament. At 25-9 in a strong WAC, Lobo fans retained hope that New Mexico would gain an at-large berth to the tournament. The selection committee granted the WAC three spots in the field, but the Lobos were left out, a disappointment that would linger through the following season. They were again relegated to the NIT, losing to Oregon State and finishing 25-10, the team record for wins in a season at the time. Scarborough was named All-WAC and finished his career second now third in Lobo history in total assists.Like Petie Gibson, Scarborough became a long-time coach in Albuquerque, at Menaul School, and mentor to at-risk youth. Ed Johnson, Ex-Lobo Star Wants To Help, But Feels Rebuffed, Albuquerque Journal, May 15, 2011.
In 198788 the Lobos were led by Charlie Thomas, a junior transfer from Wake Forest 17 points and 7.5 rebounds a game, and senior Greene 16.8 points, 6.8 rebounds. The team tallied early wins over UCLA, Ohio State, and at Texas before hosting #1 Arizona, led by All-Americans Sean Elliott and Steve Kerr. The Lobos jumped out to a 25-9 lead before the Wildcats chiseled away at the lead, cutting it to two late in the game. Elliott had an opportunity to put Arizona in the lead with a three-pointer with seconds remaining, but Greene blocked the shot to seal the win, the only time the Lobos have beaten a #1-ranked opponent. A week later the Lobos beat #5 Wyoming at The Pit, pushing them to 14-3 and earning a #19 ranking, their first appearance in the polls since Lobogate. They fell into a 6-10 slide, however, including 1-9 on the road, a chronic weakness of the Lobos under Colson, whose teams compiled a 24-65 record in road games. The Lobos again returned to the NIT, beating Pepperdine and Oregon before losing in the quarter-finals to Ohio State, a team they had beaten earlier in the season, finishing with a 22-14 record. Greene completed his career as the only Lobo ever to surpass 1,500 points, 600 rebounds, 300 assists, and 200 steals, averaging 16 points and six rebounds a game as a Lobo.
Colson was forced to resign after the season ended, a move that remains somewhat controversial. Former UNM AD John Bridgers believed Colson had never received the full support of the Lobo community. Colson said the popularity and continued presence of Ellenberger during his early years were unnerving and that he sometimes felt in competition with the former coach. Bridgers had been replaced as AD the year before by John Koenig, who did not believe Colson could take the Lobos to the next level. Colson's teams had gone 107-62 .633 in his last five seasons, but his failure to win the conference or to make the NCAA tournament were common criticisms. Colson had also clashed with Koenig in a contract dispute and had gone over his head to resolve the issue. Colson's supporters pointed to the strong recruiting class he had coming in, arguing that his best teams were ahead of him, as well as to the integrity and academic success forged by Colson. Complicating matters, Koenig himself was fired three months later and eventually faced indictment on criminal charges for his activities as AD. In the end, fans wanted more than Colson had managed to achieve, and despite the respect he had earned for rebuilding the program, the disappointment of failing to reach the NCAA tournament fueled support for a change.
Dave Bliss 198899
Dave Bliss recorded the most wins as head coach in Lobo history, compiling a 246108 .695 record, with seven NCAA tournament appearances and three trips to the NIT. The hiring search after Colson's departure included a brief flirtation with Indiana coach Bobby Knight, who visited Albuquerque and was reportedly offered the job. Knight acknowledged that he had seriously considered the offer but eventually declined, stating that he did not have the energy that would be required. Knight recommended Bliss, who had been his assistant at Army and Indiana before serving as head coach at Oklahoma and SMU.
Bliss inherited a strong nucleus of senior Charlie Thomas, junior Darrell McGee, and sophomores Luc Longley and Rob Robbins.Richard Stevens, Dave Bliss Takes The Lobos NCAA Dancing, New Mexico Athletics Official Site, June 15, 2013. All had been Colson recruits, and Bliss reportedly flew to Australia to secure Longley's return to New Mexico. The Lobos got off to a slow start in 1988-89, including losses to #11 Arizona and #6 Oklahoma. They then won 11 of 12, taking the WAC lead into the last month of the season. After a couple of upset losses at home, however, they fell into a tie for second and again settled for the NIT. The Lobos notched wins over Santa Clara and Pepperdine before losing to eventual tournament runner-up St. Louis, finishing the season at 22-11. The Lobos shot their best field goal percentage in a season, .542, placing them second in the nation, and McGee established the still-standing record for assists in a season. Thomas finished his career with over 1,000 points and 500 rebounds, one of two Lobos to accomplish that in just two seasons.
The Lobos had a roller-coaster season in 1989-90, buoyed by record-setting performances by Longley, Robbins, and McGee. They lost four straight early in the year, then won their next five; they lost seven of nine, but won their last seven regular season games; they carried that momentum into the NIT and reached its Final Four. Longley was named All-WAC, averaging 18.4 points and 9.7 rebounds while setting Lobo records for blocks in a season and per game. Robbins led the nation in free throw shooting, making 93.5 of his attempts, including 52 in a row at one point, both school records. McGee capped his career with Lobo records for most games played and most career assists. In the NIT, the Lobos knocked off Oregon, Oklahoma State, and Hawaii to make the Final Four in New York. They lost to St. Louis in the semi-finals, then in overtime to Penn State in the consolation game to finish the season 20-14.
The 199091 Lobos were again led by Longley averaging 19.1 points and 9.2 rebounds a game, with Robbins adding 14 points a game. The team began the season 11-2 but lost four straight, struggling on the road. They again finished strong, winning nine of their last eleven, including four of five on the road. They finished third in the WAC but received an at-large bid to the NCAA Tournament, their first berth since 1978. They lost in the first round to #14 Oklahoma State to finish 20-10. Longley was again named All-WAC and finished his career as Lobo leader in scoring and rebounding, falling since to sixth in points and second in rebounds. He remains the Lobo career leader in blocks and blocks per game; second in career field goals made; and the only Lobo to record a triple-double, doing so twice. Longley was the seventh player selected in the 1991 NBA draft, by Minnesota, and he went on to win three NBA championships as a starter for the Chicago Bulls 199698. Robbins finished his career with the Lobo record for best career free throw percentage, third best three-point shooting percentage, and second most minutes played, having started all 133 games of his career.
The 199192 Lobos featured a balanced offense, with all five starters averaging in double figures, but they lacked a go-to scorer. Senior Willie Banks, an Albuquerque High product, led the team along with junior guards Ike Williams and Steve Logan and center Khari Jaxon. The team started slowly, including a home loss to #2 Arizona, but later won seven of eight to gain an early share of the WAC lead. Road struggles slowed them, however, and despite another strong finish they ended up a game out of the lead. Banks was named All-WAC and finished as Lobo career leader now second in three-point percentage. The Lobos returned to the NIT, where they beat Louisiana Tech and Washington State before losing at Virginia, finishing the season 20-13.
The 199293 Lobos had an experienced core with Williams, Logan, and Jaxon returning as seniors. They began the season 7-1, losing only at #14 Arizona while sweeping ranked New Mexico State. They began their WAC schedule with losses at Utah and BYU but rebounded to win eight of their next nine. The Lobos led the conference in scoring defense and were 15th in the nation, allowing 63.2 points per game. A pair of upset losses prevented them from catching the #9 Utes and #21 Cougars, who were tied atop the league at 14-1 late in the season. The Lobos beat both in The Pit in the final week, however, then upset BYU on the way to winning their first WAC tournament championship, and securing a trip to the NCAA Tournament. Williams was named conference tournament MVP; he and Jaxon were both named All-WAC. The Lobos broke into the AP rankings at #21 and received a five-seed in the tournament, facing George Washington in the first round. The team had relied heavily on three-point shooting, hoisting over 100 more attempts than in any previous season, making 39. Their shooting touch eluded them in the tournament, as several players were suffering from food poisoning before the game. They got into foul trouble and could not stop George Washington's strong inside game, falling in an upset and finishing the season 24-7.
The 199394 Lobos were picked in preseason polls to finish fifth in the WAC after losing their three leading players to graduation. Senior Greg Brown, a 5-7 point guard from Albuquerque High, produced a monumental season, though, leading the Lobos to their first regular season WAC title in 16 years. Brown averaged 19.3 points a game, scoring over 30 four times, often in pivotal games, with a season-best 42; junior Marlow White averaged 17, senior Notch Neves 13, and promising freshman Charles Smith added over ten a game. The Lobos again relied on three-point shooting, attempting the most threes in school history while making nearly ten a game, leading the WAC. The Lobos started 11-2, with both losses to New Mexico State in close, exciting games. The team was undefeated at home in conference and won a key road game at BYU to seal the league championship, led by a torrent of points from Brown. They lost in the conference tournament but received a berth in the NCAA Tournament as a ten-seed facing Virginia. The Lobos built a 15-point lead early in the second half, but their shooting touch again disappeared, missing their last ten three-pointers. Smith led with 20 points, but the rest of the team shot a combined 29, including 18 from three-point range. Virginia scored the last eight points of the game to take the lead, and the Lobos missed three shots at tying the game in the last 12 seconds, finishing the season at 23-8. White was named All-WAC and Bliss was WAC Coach of the Year; Brown was named All-WAC and WAC Player of the Year. Brown also won the Frances Pomeroy Naismith Award, given to the nation's top senior under six feet tall and gained an All-American Honorable Mention.Greg Brown, New Mexico Athletics Official Site. Bliss stated, [a]s a coach, I have never compromised more of my offensive principles than while coaching Greg Brown. Because his best play is to dribble down the court and shoot it. Everybody knows that's not a great basketball play, but for us it was terrific.Brown is now head basketball coach at Volcano Vista High in Albuquerque. Will Webber, New High School Hires Hoops Coach, Albuquerque Journal, March 23, 2007.
The 199495 season was a rebuilding year for the Lobos, who finished 15-15 but won six of their last eight games. Sophomore Smith led the team, scoring 16 points a game, while three freshmen Clayton Shields, David Gibson, and Royce Olney played extensively. The 1995-96 team added to that nucleus Albuquerque High star Kenny Thomas, a USA Today and Parade magazine High School All-American. The young Lobo squad jumped out to a 10-0 start and a #25 ranking before losing a pair of league road games. Smith averaged 19.5 points a game and Shields added 14.5, while Thomas tallied 14.7 points and 7.8 rebounds a game, setting Lobo standards for freshmen. The Lobos were swept by #7 Utah, dropping to 17-4, but they won their last seven games to finish second in conference. They rode the momentum into the WAC tournament championship game and beat the Utes behind a dominant 30-point, 17-rebound performance by Thomas, earning their tenth straight win and a berth in the NCAA tournament. The Lobos were ranked #23 and received a seven-seed to play Kansas State. The Lobos broke open a close game in the second half with a 26-7 run. Shields led the way with 25 points and 10 rebounds, with Smith adding 15, overcoming a foul-plagued game for Thomas. The Lobos next faced two-seed Georgetown and took a slim lead into the second half. Shields again led with 19 points. With Thomas again slowed by foul trouble, the Lobos were outmatched inside and could not stop All-American Allen Iverson, who scored 20 in the second half. The Lobos finished the season 28-5, their highest season win total and winning percentage to date. Smith and Thomas were named All-WAC, and Bliss was again named WAC Coach of the Year.
The 199697 Lobos returned all their principal players, while adding freshman Lamont Long, who would become a starter by mid-season. The team entered the year #18 and would remain ranked throughout the next three seasons. The Lobos started 11-1, losing at Texas Tech but beating #11 Arizona and rising to #11 themselves. The WAC had expanded to 16 teams in the off-season, and eight WAC teams won at least 20 games. The Lobos lost three tough road games but beat #4 Utah in The Pit, pushing them to a #9 ranking they went 18-0 at home for the season. Smith led in scoring for the third straight season, averaging 17.5 a game, while Shields scored 15.5, and Thomas added 14 points and seven rebounds a game. New Mexico later lost at Utah in a blowout, then lost a close game to the #3 Utes in the WAC tournament. The Lobos were ranked #11 and received a three-seed in the NCAA tournament, their best seed ever. Against Old Dominion in the first round, the Lobos struggled with three-point shooting and turned to their inside game. Thomas had 15 points and eight rebounds, sealing the win with a pair of late free throws, while Long added 14 points and nine boards. They then faced six-seed Louisville in a closely contested game that went down to the final play. The Lobos forced a turnover, down 64-63, but their set play broke down and Gibson missed an unbalanced, driving shot, ending the Lobo season at 25-8. Bliss would identify the loss as a particular disappointment, believing that the Lobos were the better team. Smith led with 16 points and seven rebounds in his final game as a Lobo. He was again named All-WAC and finished as the leading scorer in Lobo history, with 1,993 points, and the leader in field goals made, having started every game of his career. Smith was chosen by the Miami Heat with the 26th pick in the first round of the 1997 NBA draft, playing five seasons in the NBA and several more in Europe.
The 199798 Lobos had four starters returning and entered the season ranked #11. They began the year 11-1, rising to #8 before losing at #15 UCLA. They later lost at #5 Arizona but beat undefeated, #3 Utah as Olney hit two three-pointers in the final moments, including the game winner at the buzzer.Utah would go on to reach the Final Four and lose to Kentucky in the national championship game. Thomas averaged 17 points and nine rebounds, Shields 17 points and seven rebounds, and Long 14. Olney added 15 a game while shooting a Lobo record .513 from three-point range, as the team set the Lobo record for threes in a season. The Lobos were 21-3 and back at #11 when they lost at #19 TCU, at #5 Utah, and had a team record 41-game home-winning streak ended by BYU. They rebounded to reach the final of the WAC tournament before losing at UNLV but still received a four-seed in the NCAA Tournament. Facing Butler in the first round, the Lobos were already without an injured Olney when Gibson suffered a concussion and broken finger; Thomas again spent the game in foul trouble. Unfazed, Long scored 22, Shields had 17, and bench reserves added 33 points as the Lobos won handily. Against five-seed Syracuse, however, the depleted Lobos shot under 26 and lost to finish the season 24-8. Thomas was named second-team All-American, and he and Shields were both All-WAC. Shields finished his career as the third now fourth leading scorer in Lobo history and as career leader in three-pointers. Gibson finished as Lobo career leader in minutes played. Attendance at The Pit remained in the top ten nationally during the Bliss years, finishing sixth in the nation twice and reaching its highest season average ever in 1997-98 at 17,625 per game.
The 199899 Lobos again started strong with a 12-1 record, reaching #11; they stood at 16-2 after beating #7 Arizona but then lost four of five, struggling on the road. Thomas averaged 18 points and 10 rebounds, Long 17 points and 6.5 boards. The team won seven of their last nine, both losses coming to #8 Utah, in Salt Lake and in the WAC tournament final. The Lobos advanced to the NCAA Tournament for the fourth straight season, garnering a nine-seed against Missouri. Thomas had his best NCAA performance with 20 points, 10 rebounds, and four blocks, while Long added 17 points and 12 rebounds and made the game-winning basket in the closing seconds. The Lobos then fell to eventual national champion Connecticut, shooting just 26, to finish 25-9. Thomas was named All-WAC for the third time and finished his career as the second leading scorer and top rebounder in Lobo history. He was selected as the 22nd pick in the first round of the 1999 NBA draft by Houston and played for 11 seasons in the NBA.
The four seasons with Kenny Thomas in the line-up was the best stretch by the Lobos to date. They compiled a 102-30 .772 record while making the NCAA tournament and winning in the first round all four years. Bliss had won 246 games as Lobo head coach and reached the NCAA tournament seven times, both school records. His teams won twenty or more games and reached post-season tournaments in ten of his 11 seasons, and he coached the four leading scorers in Lobo history. Yet, despite his success, Bliss faced mounting criticism from fans and the media for poor academic performance by his players, lax discipline, lightweight schedules, and the failure to advance to the Sweet 16 of the NCAA tournament. Deciding it was time to move on, Bliss resigned and accepted the head coach position at Baylor, reportedly more than doubling his UNM salary. In 2003, he was forced to resign from Baylor embroiled in an ugly scandal that would end his college coaching career.
Fran Fraschilla 19992002
Fran Fraschilla coached at New Mexico for three seasons, compiling a 55-41 .572 record with three NIT appearances. Fraschilla was hired days after Bliss resigned, touted as a great recruiter and up-and-coming coach after leading Manhattan and St. John's to the NCAA tournament. He had left St. John's under murky circumstances, however, and worked as a broadcaster and scout during the preceding season.Grace Lichtenstein, Fraschilla, Brooklyn Guy, Takes On Albuquerque, New York Times, November 16, 1999.
Before the 19992000 season, the Lobos and seven other teams left the WAC to form the Mountain West Conference MWC. Fraschilla inherited three returning starters, but the team was clearly heading into a rebuilding period after losing Thomas. The inconsistent squad started 5-5 but then stunned 21-point favorite, #2 Arizona in Tucson, the highest ranked opponent the Lobos had beaten on the road since 1966. The team meandered to a 13-11 record but then won four straight, including over #21 Utah. They went to the NIT and beat South Florida before losing at eventual champion Wake Forest, finishing 18-14. Lamont Long averaged 18.7 points a game to lead the league and earn All-MWC honors, finishing his career as the third leading scorer in Lobo history, three points ahead of former teammate Shields.
The Lobos added transfer Ruben Douglas from Arizona before the 200001 season, but other key recruits were sidelined by injury and disciplinary problems. Several players left the team, some claiming abuse by Fraschilla.Richard Stevens, Fraschilla, McKay Find Limited Success At UNM, New Mexico Athletics, June 18, 2013. The Lobos started the season 12-2, with an overtime win at Sweet 16-bound Gonzaga, but a blowout loss at #1 Stanford began a 1-6 slump, including several poor road performances. Douglas was an explosive scorer and led the team with 16 points a game. The Lobos heated up in the MWC tournament, reaching the final but losing on a missed shot at the end of the game. They went to the NIT and beat Bliss-led Baylor and Pepperdine in The Pit before losing at Memphis to finish 21-13.
Fraschilla felt he had his system and recruits in place going into the 200102 season, and Lobo fans were eager for the team to return to the NCAA tournament. The Lobos lost to #13 Stanford in their opener but moved to 10-3 as Douglas led the way with 18 points a game. Hosting #18 Gonzaga, Douglas missed a pair of free throws to send the game into overtime, and the Lobos lost; point guard Marlon Parmer ripped teammates in the locker room, beginning a string of problems on court and off. The team went on a 4-10 slide starting with a blowout loss at home to Utah, after which Parmer was dismissed, and culminating with forward Patrick Dennehy shoving teammates and walking off the court during a loss at Air Force. Fraschilla had lost the team: nine players had left the program or been dismissed during his tenure. The team finished 16-14 after another blowout loss at Minnesota in the NIT. Fraschilla resigned shortly after the season, concluding that it was best for everyone that I leave.Fraschilla 'marriage' over at N.M., Deseret News, March 18, 2002.
Ritchie McKay 200207
Ritchie McKay was head coach at New Mexico for five seasons with a record of 8269 .543 and one NCAA tournament appearance. After several coaches were discussed as candidates, some turning down offers, McKay was hired in a late night surprise and was not a popular choice among Lobo fans.Mark Smith, Sweet & Sour, Albuquerque Journal, July 28, 2013. His father played at UNM for Bob King, but McKay had only coached for brief stints at Portland State, Colorado State, and Oregon State, with an 83-89 career record.
McKay faced a major rebuilding project in 200203 compounded by further dismissals and injuries that cut the team to seven scholarship players. They languished to a 10-18 finish, the first losing season for the Lobos in twenty years. Senior Ruben Douglas was the lone offensive threat and became the only Lobo ever to lead the nation in scoring, averaging 28 points a game. He was named MWC Player of the Year and finished his career as the fifth leading scorer in Lobo history.Ruben Douglas, Profile, New Mexico Athletics A grim year for the program began with a severe spinal cord injury to guard Senque Carey, who would recover fully but never play again. Discipline trouble and player defections continued into the off-season. Misfortune turned to tragedy with the murder of former Lobo Patrick Dennehy leading to a scandal at Baylor implicating Dave Bliss and the suicide of Lobo transfer Billy Feeney. Both had close friends and long-time teammates still on the Lobo roster.
Bradley transfer Danny Granger became eligible during the 200304 season and led the team with 19.5 points a game. The young squad showed promising signs early but struggled in conference to finish 14-14. All returned for 2004-05, and Granger turned in a spectacular season, averaging 19 points and nine rebounds a game to gain All-American recognition. All five starters averaged in double figures, but the team had little depth and relied heavily on Granger. The Lobos were 10-1 when they lost to #5 Wake Forest, and 14-2 when Granger suffered an injury and missed three games, all losses.Media Guide 2013-14, p.140. They won 12 of 13 after Granger returned, however, winning the MWC tournament final over #15 Utah and receiving a 12-seed in the NCAA Tournament. Facing #22 Villanova, the Lobos shot 18 in the first half, scoring just eleven points and trailing by as much as 24. They battled to within five points in the second half but could not overcome their poor start. Granger was selected by the Indiana Pacers with the 17th pick in the first round of the 2005 NBA draft and has placed among league leaders in scoring and been named an All-Star during his career.
McKay continued to attract strong transfer players, but discipline issues persisted in 2005-06. Versatile senior guard Mark Walters led the team with 16 points a game, but after winning four straight to build a 16-9 record, they lost four of five to finish 17-13 and did not receive a post-season bid. Road struggles kept the team from gaining momentum, a chronic problem as the Lobos went 8-43 in away games under McKay. The 200607 team featured talented Kansas transfer J. R. Giddens, who led the team with 16 points a game, but discipline problems limited his playing time. The team began 9-2 with an upset over #8 Wichita State but wilted in league play, going 4-12 and finishing 15-17. Fan criticism had reached a crescendo and attendance at The Pit had been dropping significantly. First-year Athletic Director Paul Krebs announced before the end of the season that McKay would not return for the following season.
Steve Alford 200713
Steve Alford coached the Lobos for six seasons, compiling a 15552 .749 record with three NCAA tournament appearances, at least a share of four league titles, and two conference tournament championships. As a player Alford had been a prolific scorer and two-time All-American at Indiana, winning a national championship, and earning an Olympic gold medal with the U.S. national team. He had been a collegiate coach for 16 seasons, the previous eight at Iowa, amassing over 300 career wins.
An early objective for Alford was to change the culture of the program regarding discipline and academic focus. Under McKay, J.R. Giddens had frequently missed games due to disciplinary problems. Alford applied a strict regimen and Giddens responded with a standout senior season, leading the team with 16 points and nine rebounds a game.Giddens led the MWC in rebounding and was among the league leaders in numerous other categories. 2007-08 MWC Season Summary, Sports-Reference.com. Six other players averaged between seven and ten points as balanced scoring became a hallmark of Lobo squads under Alford.2007-08 New Mexico Lobos Roster and Stats, Sports-Reference.com. The Lobos began the 200708 season 14-2 before losing four of six in league; they then won eight of nine to close out the regular season. They lost in the conference tournament but received a bid to the NIT, losing at Cal to finish 24-9, the most wins for a first-year Lobo coach to date. Giddens was named MWC Co-Player of the Year and received an AP All-American Honorable Mention. He was selected as the 30th pick in the first round of the 2008 NBA draft by Boston.
The 200809 Lobos mixed four veterans with young Alford recruits and were picked in the preseason to finish fifth in the MWC. Senior Tony Danridge led the unit with 15 points a game, though they again relied on balance and teamwork. The Lobos struggled to a 9-7 start before pulling together in league play, going 12-4 after winning their final five games to gain a share of the MWC title. They lost in the first round of the conference tournament, however, and were again relegated to the NIT, where they beat Nebraska but lost at Notre Dame, finishing the season 22-12. Danridge was named All-MWC, and Alford was tabbed MWC Coach of the Year.
The 200910 Lobos were again a young squad picked to finish fifth in the MWC in preseason polls.Media Guide 2013-14, p.107 Versatile JC transfer Darington Hobson joined lone senior Roman Martinez, junior Dairese Gary, and eight sophomores and freshmen. The Lobos jumped out to a 12-0 start with wins over #25 Cal and #16 Texas A&M, vaulting to #12 in the national rankings. After losing at Oral Roberts, they beat #20 Texas Tech and a Dayton squad that would go on to win the NIT. Hobson led the team with 16 points, nine rebounds, and 4.6 assists a game, the only Lobo to ever lead in all three. Martinez added 14 points and six rebounds a game, and Gary 13 points and four assists. The Lobos dropped their first two MWC games but then reeled off 15 straight wins their second longest winning streak ever sweeping #10 BYU. The Lobos rose to #8 in the polls and won the MWC title. They lost in the conference tournament but received a three-seed in the NCAA tournament. The team had relied heavily on its starters and was worn down with fatigue and injuries. They struggled to win against first round opponent Montana, and Hobson injured his wrist and back. In the second round the hobbled Lobos could not keep up with athletic, fast-breaking Washington. They finished 30-5, the most wins in a Lobo season, while going 10-2 in road games and 6-0 against ranked teams, also team highs. Alford was again named MWC Coach of the Year, and Gary was All-MWC. Hobson was named as MWC Player of the Year and a third-team All-American. He declared for the 2010 NBA draft and was selected in the second round by Milwaukee. Martinez was honored as an Academic All-American and received the NCAA Chip Hilton Player of the Year Award for outstanding character, leadership, integrity, and talent.Roman Martinez, Profile, New Mexico Athletics.
The early departure of Hobson left the Lobos with just one senior again in 2010-11: Gary led with 14 points and 5.5 assists a game, carrying the young team at times. He was joined by UCLA transfer Drew Gordon, who averaged 13 points and 10.5 rebounds, and the program's most successful freshman class to date, including starter Kendall Williams who scored 12 points a game. The Lobos began the season 10-1, but youth caught up to them in league play and they went .500 the rest of the way. They beat #3 BYU in Provo to sweep the regular season series but lost to the Cougars in the conference tournament. Gary injured his knee in the game, a sad career end for a four-year starter and steady leader. The Lobos went to the NIT and beat UTEP before losing at Alabama, finishing 22-13.
Gordon became a dominating inside presence in 2011-12, averaging 14 points and 11 rebounds, registering 19 double-doubles, and setting the Lobo season record for rebounds.2011-12 New Mexico Lobos Roster and Stats, Sports-Reference.com. Williams and fellow sophomore Tony Snell scored in double figures. The team played exceptional defense, allowing under 60 points per game, its fewest in the shot clock era, placing among national leaders in several categories. After two early losses, the Lobos won 13 straight en route to a 15-2 mark. They dropped a pair of league games but then won seven straight, winning at #13 San Diego State and trouncing #11 UNLV to take the league lead and climb into the national rankings at #18. Two road losses made them settle for a share of the regular season MWC title, but they again beat ranked SDSU and UNLV to secure the conference tournament championship, the first time they won both titles in a season. Gordon was named All-MWC and conference tourney MVP. The #21 Lobos received a five-seed in the NCAA tournament facing Long Beach State. Gordon had 18 points and 13 rebounds, while Williams added 16 with two late baskets to seal the win. Against four-seed Louisville, the Lobos took an early lead, fell behind by 15, then battled back to within two late in the game. Gordon had 21 points and 14 rebounds, but the team shot poorly from three-point range and could not overcome the deficit, finishing the season 28-7.
The 201213 Lobo squad was dominated by juniors and sophomores, though all were veteran contributors, including three returning starters. The team was again defense-oriented, surrendering just 60 points a game and grinding out close wins, frequently coming from behind.Media Guide 2013-14, pp.46-49,109. Williams, Snell, and center Alex Kirk led a balanced attack with seven players leading the team in scoring in individual games. The Lobos climbed to #16 with a 12-0 start, with a win over #19 Connecticut, before losing to NCAA tournament-bound South Dakota State; they won at #8 Cincinnati then lost at St Louis, which later reached #13. The Lobos' strength of schedule powered them to a #2 RPI ranking, and they won a program-record 15 games away from The Pit. The MWC enjoyed its best season to date with four teams achieving national rankings and five making the NCAA tournament. The Lobos lost on the road to ranked San Diego State and UNLV but beat both at home and won nine out of ten to clinch the league title. Williams hit a school-record 10 threes and scored 46 points at Colorado State, both MWC records. Snell paced the offense down the stretch, averaging 18 points a game and leading the Lobos to the MWC tournament championship. The Lobos were ranked #10 and received a three-seed in the NCAA tournament, facing Harvard, but they again turned in a disappointing performance. Kirk led with 22 points and 12 rebounds, but the team shot poorly and trailed most of the game as the Crimson answered Lobo runs with timely three-pointers to seal the upset. The Lobos finished the season 29-6, their second-best record ever. Williams was named MWC Player of the Year, and Alford was named Coach of the Year.
The day before the NCAA tournament began, UNM announced a ten-year contract extension with Alford; ten days later he resigned to take the head coaching position at UCLA. In the interim, Snell announced he was declaring for the NBA draft. The tournament upset and departures were disheartening blows for Lobo fans. Alford had led the program back to national prominence, attaining its best six-year stretch ever while improving academic achievement. The Lobo players and fan base rallied around long-time associate head coach Craig Neal, hoping to maintain continuity, and he was hired to replace Alford.Media Guide 2013-14, p.46 Snell was selected by Chicago with the 20th pick in the first round of the NBA Draft.
Craig Neal 201317
Craig Neal was associate head coach under Alford for three seasons at Iowa and six seasons at UNM before taking the Lobo helm.Craig Neal, Profile, New Mexico Athletics. Neal played for Bobby Cremins at Georgia Tech, earning All-ACC honors as he set the conference record for assists in a season. He played professionally for eight seasons then coached in the NBA for eight more before joining Alford at Iowa.
Neal inherited four returning starters for the 201314 season, joining seven newcomers.Lobo Basketball 201314 Game Notes , New Mexico Athletics. Senior Cameron Bairstow had a breakout season, averaging 20 points and seven rebounds a game, achieving one of the best single-season improvements in school history. Williams averaged 16 points and five assists, and Kirk added 13 points and nine rebounds. The Lobos began the season 71, beating Cincinnati, which later reached #7, but losing to Massachusetts, later #13; they lost to Kansas, which peaked at #2, but beat Marquette. The team struggled at times as the bench developed, suffering a pair of home upsets to leave them 124. They then won 12 of 13, including a win over #6 San Diego State to knot the MWC race, but they lost the title showdown at SDSU after squandering a large lead. The teams met again in the conference tournament final, and the Lobos prevailed for their third straight MWC tournament championship. They received a seven-seed in the NCAA Tournament, facing Stanford. Following a familiar pattern, the Lobos fell behind early then battled back. Bairstow led with 24 points and eight rebounds, but the team shot poorly and their comeback fell short. The Lobos finished the season 277, Neal tallying the most wins ever for a first-year Lobo coach. Bairstow and Williams were named first team All-MWC; Kirk was third team. Bairstow was named second-team All-American by Sports Illustrated. Williams finished his career as the fifth leading scorer in Lobo history, third in assists, and the MWC career assists leader.
On April 1, 2017, Neal was dismissed as head coach after compiling a record of 76-52 .594.
Paul Weir 2017-present
On April 11, 2017, Paul Weir was named head coach of the Lobos.
Dreamstyle Arena
Early New Mexico basketball teams played in what became known as the Old Wooden Gym, where the walls were the out-of-bounds markers. In 1928 Coach Roy Johnson organized construction of Carlisle Gymnasium, seating about 1,500 spectators with later additions doubling that figure, and in 1957 Johnson Gymnasium opened, with a capacity of 7,800. The success of the Lobos under Bob King led to rapidly growing fan interest. Attendance doubled, Johnson Gym was soon selling out, and plans for a larger arena began to be developed.
University Arena opened in 1966 but was soon nicknamed The Pit due to its innovative subterranean design, with the playing floor 37 feet below street level. The Lobos have enjoyed exceptional success at The Pit, winning over 80 percent of their games and mounting home-winning streaks of over 20 games four times, with the longest of 41 straight in 1996-98. The Lobos have made 14 NCAA tournament appearances and 17 NIT appearances since the opening of the arena. In 1992 the basketball court at The Pit was named Bob King Court in honor of the coach who made its construction possible.New Mexico Athletics, UNM Mourns Passing of Bob King; Services Next Wednesday at The Pit, December 10, 2004.
Attendance at Lobo games in The Pit has consistently been among the national leaders in college basketball, averaging over 15,400 fans per game since it opened. The Lobos finished in the top five nationally in attendance 16 times in their first 20 years at The Pit, reaching second five times, and they were in the top ten all but one season through 2002. The design of the arena makes it one of the loudest venues in college basketball, creating a hostile playing environment for visitors.Andy Katz, Bucket List: The Pit, ESPN.com, August 16, 2013. A study of decibel levels at collegiate basketball arenas found that a game at The Pit registered as the loudest at 118 decibels, comparable to a turbo-fan aircraft at takeoff power. Noise levels up to 125 decibels have been measured, close to the pain threshold for the human ear. Contributing to the intimidating environment for visitors is the mile high elevation of The Pit, emphasized to visiting teams with a message along the wall of the tunnel from the locker rooms down to the playing floor saying, Welcome to the legendary Pit, a mile high and louder than...
The Pit has garnered praise as one of the top venues in college basketball from sports reporters, announcers, and opposing coaches.David Fox, The Top Arenas in College Basketball: Experts Poll, Athlon Sports, January 8, 2014. Sports Illustrated listed The Pit among its Top 20 Sporting Venues of the 20th Century. Jim Boeheim, Lute Olson, and Steve Fisher have praised Lobo fans and the exciting atmosphere coaching at The Pit. Rick Majerus, who compiled a 5-11 record against the Lobos at The Pit, tying him with Don Haskins for most wins by a visiting coach, noted the intensity and dedication of Lobo fans and their knowledge of the game,Majerus returns to the Pit in St. Louis Blue, KRQE-TV, December 30, 2011. The Pit hosted the 1983 NCAA Final Four, the last time the event was held on a college campus. North Carolina State upset heavily favored Houston in the memorable championship, sealing the victory with a last second basket. The video clip of NC State coach Jim Valvano celebrating at the end of the game documents one of the most famous moments in NCAA basketball history and is a staple of NCAA tournament television coverage.
Renovations completed in 2010 added space and state-of-the-art amenities for fans and players. Luxury suites and club seats were added, along with digital video boards, expanded concourses, additional restrooms and concession stands, and upgraded training facilities, while preserving the historic character of the building. The upgrade reduced seating capacity to 15,411, trading some seating for greater comfort and amenities. The building facade was also transformed, adding extensive glasswork and a steel superstructure.
Naming rights
In December 2014, Albuquerque-based restaurant chain WisePies Pizza & Salad purchased the naming rights for the arena, whose official name became WisePies Arena aka The Pit. On April 27, 2017, UNM asked WisePies to relinquish the naming rights, per the terms of the agreement, and WisePies agreed to do so.
On May 3, 2017, UNM announced a $10 million naming rights agreement with Dreamstyle Remodeling, an Albuquerque-based construction business, covering both The Pit and the UNM football stadium. The official name of the facilities became Dreamstyle Arena and Dreamstyle Stadium.
Traditions
The official mascot of the University of New Mexico is the Lobo, the Spanish word for wolf, adopted by the school in 1920. Human mascots, dubbed Lobo Louie and Lobo Lucy, members of the cheerleading squad, roam The Pit during games rousing and entertaining fans. During the 1980s, a popular chant among Lobo fans was Everyone's a Lobo, Woof Woof Woof!, coupled with a hand gesture emulating a wolf. It was phased out during the '90s but has since become the signature cheer for Lobo fans.Everyone's A Lobo!, LoboTV, December 2, 2010.
At the start of each half during Lobo games at The Pit, fans continue to stand and clap their hands until both teams score a basket, adding pressure on teams that struggle to score for long stretches. The student section in The Pit, Section 26, is particularly noteworthy for the antics of its raucous fans, taunting and intimidating opposing players, often with personal remarks, and offering enticing visuals for television broadcasters: They chant, jump up and down in unison, shake newspapers and signs to make noise and create distractions, and some dress in costumes and body paint. The noise level of the boisterous fans, the intimacy created by seating extending to the edge of the court, and the elevation contribute to what Coach Dave Bliss termed a Pit game.
The Lobo Howl is an event held initially on midnight of the first day the NCAA allows teams to practice. Over the years it has evolved into a family-like atmosphere held during the evening, including player introductions, practice drills and scrimmages, three-point shooting and slam dunk contests, and other festivities. Student-athletes from both men's and women's squads participate and sign autographs for fans, and the event is used to attract recruits invited to attend. The 2013 Howl drew over 10,000 fans and featured the introduction of new coach Craig Neal, who entered the arena on his motorcycle.
Sportscaster Mike Roberts was the Voice of the Lobos on KKOB radio in Albuquerque from 1966 to 2008, becoming an icon among Lobo fans. He was an integral part of the Lobo fan experience, especially before most games were televised. Roberts noted the noise level in The Pit as a challenge for a broadcaster: There were a lot of times when I knew I was calling the game because my lips were moving, but I couldn't hear a thing I said. Many fans were disappointed and outraged when Roberts was dismissed by KKOB in 2008. New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson declared May 8, 2008 as Mike Roberts Appreciation Day in honor of the sportscaster. In 1999, Roberts was inducted into the University of New Mexico Athletic Hall of Honor by the Alumni Lettermen's Association and received the Distinguished Service Award. Roberts was also inducted into the Albuquerque Sports Hall of Fame.
Athletic conferences
The Lobos compete in the Mountain West Conference MWC in NCAA Division I, joining as a founding member in 1999. The Lobos won the MWC regular season championship in 2009, 2010, 2012, and 2013, and they won the conference tournament in 2005, 2012, 2013, and 2014.
In 1931, Lobo athletic teams began competing in the Border Intercollegiate Athletic Association, joining as a founding member along with other regional schools. The Lobos won the conference basketball championship in 1944 and 1945, seasons with shortened schedules due to World War II. UNM left the Border Conference in 1951 to join the Mountain States Conference, then known as the Skyline Eight.
In 1962, the Lobos became a founding member of the Western Athletic Conference WAC. They led the WAC in overall winning percentage over the 17-season span from 1962 to 1979, posting a won-loss record of 328161 .671. The Lobos won the WAC regular season championship in 1964, 1968, 1974, 1978, and 1994, and they won the conference tournament in 1993 and 1996. The Lobos and seven other conference members left the WAC to form the MWC in 1999.
Coaching records
Leaders
Career wins, winning percentage minimum 75 games coached:
Pre-Bob King era
The following table summarizes the records and accomplishments of the coaches before Bob King.
Notes:
Johnson, 10438 from 192434; 13773 after 1936; 2873 in last four seasons
Clements, 4119 from 194447, 72100 thereafter
Pre-Border Conference: 14570 from 18991931
Border Conference: 205235 from 19311951
Skyline Eight: 70195 from 19511962
Pre-Bob King total: 425509
Total Win/Loss 18892017: 15001110
Yearly results, 1962present
Lobo basketball first attained national prominence after hiring Bob King as head coach in 1962.
Yearly results and accomplishments from that point to the present follow:Conference Season Championships 11: 5 WAC, 4 MWC, 2 Border
4 Steve Alford MWC: 2009, 2010, 2012, 2013
2 Bob King WAC: 1964, 1968
2 Norm Ellenberger WAC: 1974, 1978
1 George Ellis Border: 1944
1 Woody Clements Border: 1945
1 Dave Bliss WAC: 1994Conference Tournament Championships 6: 4 MWC, 2 WAC
2 Dave Bliss WAC: 1993, 1996
2 Steve Alford MWC: 2012, 2013
1 Ritchie McKay MWC: 2005
1 Craig Neal MWC: 2014NCAA Tournament Appearances 15: 816 record
7 Dave Bliss 1991, 199394, 199699, 47 record in NCAA tournament
3 Steve Alford 2010, 2012, 2013, 23
2 Norm Ellenberger 1974, 1978, 22
1 Bob King 1968, 02
1 Ritchie McKay 2005, 01
1 Craig Neal 2014, 0120-win seasons 27
10 Dave Bliss high: 28
6 Steve Alford 30 school record
3 Norm Ellenberger 24
3 Gary Colson 25
2 Bob King 23
1 Fran Fraschilla 21
1 Ritchie McKay 26
1 Craig Neal 2730-win seasons''' 1
1 Steve Alford 30 school record
Individual and team records
Individual and team records are published in detail in the 2013-14 Lobo Media Guide.
National rankings
The Lobos attained their first national ranking in the 196465 season, reaching #10 in the AP poll. They spent about half of the 1966-67 season in the top six nationally, reaching #3, their highest ranking ever. They were ranked in the top ten for much of the 196768 season, peaking at #4, and they were in the top 20 most of the following season. They were ranked for much of the 197374 season, reaching #8, and again in 1977-78 when they peaked at #5. They were ranked briefly in 1988 and 1993, then throughout 1996 to 1999. They have been regularly ranked from the 2009-10 through the 2013-14 seasons.
Post-season results
Western Athletic Conference tournament
The Lobos compiled a 22-14 record in WAC conference tournaments, reaching the final six times and winning the championship twice.
Mountain West Conference tournament
The Lobos have compiled a 16-11 record in MWC tournaments, reaching the final six times and winning the championship four times.
NCAA tournament
New Mexico has a history of disappointing performances in the NCAA tournament, suffering noteworthy upsets in 1968, 1978, 1993, 2010, 2013, and 2014. Nevertheless, they have won at least one game in six of their last nine appearances. The Lobos have made 15 appearances in the NCAA tournament, compiling an overall record of 816.
NIT
The Lobos have appeared in 19 National Invitation Tournaments with a combined record of 1820.
NAIA
The Lobos appeared in the NAIA Basketball Tournament one time with a record of 01.
Notes
References
*
Category:Basketball teams established in 1899 | wikipedia |
* hyperfine qubit. * we consider the isotope of magnesium @xmath103 , which after being ionized to @xmath104 can be confined in a linear paul trap @xcite .
the lowest energy levels correspond to the valence electron lying in the @xmath105 or @xmath106 orbitals , which have a transition wavelength of @xmath107 nm . the ground - state @xmath21 is split due to hyperfine interactions into a couple of long - lived states with total angular momentum @xmath108 and an energy difference of @xmath109 ghz [ fig .
[ magnesium_levels ] ] .
note that the transition @xmath110 is electric - dipole forbidden , and the decay rate @xmath111 hz is so slow that one can neglect spontaneous decay .
besides , by applying an additional magnetic field , the magnetic sublevels are zeeman split , and one can isolate two particular @xmath112 states to form our hyperfine qubit @xmath113 . hence , a collection of trapped ions can be described by the pseudo - spin hamiltonain @xmath114 where @xmath115 .
these two - level systems can be coherently manipulated by either a laser in a two - photon raman configuration @xmath116,@xmath117 , or a direct microwave @xmath13 [ fig . [ magnesium_levels ] ] .
note that the external magnetic field must be strong enough so that the drivings do not excite the population of undesired zeeman sublevels .
considering the microwave and laser rabi frequencies employed in this work , it suffices to set @xmath1184 mt , such that consecutive zeeman sublevels are split by @xmath119 mhz .
alternatively , one can exploit the polarization of the microwave to select only the desired transition .
* transverse phonons. * at low temperatures , the ion trapping forces balance the coulomb repulsion , and the ions self - assemble in an ordered structure .
the equilibrium positions are given by the minima of the confining and coulomb potentials , and follow from the following system of equations @xmath120 here , we have assumed that the transverse confinement is much tighter than the axial one , so that the ions arrange along a one - dimensional string @xcite .
for the two - ion crystals discussed in the main text , we have @xmath121 .
note that for the trapping frequencies here considered @xmath122 , the ion spacing lies in the @xmath123 m range .
we now describe the properties of the transverse collective modes of the ion chain around these equilibrium positions .
the small vibrations along the @xmath124-axis , @xmath125 , are coupled via the coulomb interaction , which in the harmonic approximation is @xmath126 where @xmath127 , and @xmath128 .
this quadratic hamiltonian can be diagonalized by means of an orthogonal transformation @xmath129 where we have set @xmath130 . here , @xmath131 are the phonon creation - annihilation operators , and @xmath132 can be interpreted as the vibrational amplitude at site @xmath133 of the @xmath134-th normal mode characterized by the frequency @xmath5 @xcite .
these amplitudes satisfy the following relations @xmath135 , and @xmath136 , where @xmath137 is the kronecker delta , and the normal - mode frequencies are expressed as @xmath138 . here
, @xmath139 quantifies the anisotropy between the axial and transverse frequencies , and also the width of the phonon branch @xmath140 $ ] .
for the two - ion crystals used in the main text @xmath141 , the diagonalization of @xmath142 yields @xmath143 for the zig - zag mode @xmath144 , and @xmath145 for the center - off mass mode @xmath146 .
taking into account these considerations , the vibrational hamiltonian , together with the qubit hamiltonian , can be expressed as @xmath147 .
the states @xmath19 and @xmath20 from the groundstate manifold @xmath21 form our qubit .
two laser beams @xmath22 drive the red sideband via an off - resonant excited state , and a microwave @xmath13 directly couples to the transition . ] we consider the interaction of two laser beams in the raman configuration shown as red arrows in fig .
[ magnesium_levels ] .
these two lasers couple the two hyperfine states of our qubit via an auxiliary excited state in the manifold @xmath148 . when the transitions to the excited state @xmath149 are far off - resonance @xcite , this state is seldom populated and can be eliminated from the dynamics . in particular , a detuning @xmath150ghz exceeds both the individual rabi frequencies @xmath22 , and the decay rate from the excited state @xmath151 . accordingly , the effective coupling between the laser beam and the qubits is expressed as @xmath152 in the dipolar approximation .
here , we have introduced @xmath153 , the two - photon rabi frequency @xmath154 , the beatnote of the laser beams @xmath155 , and the effective laser wavevector @xmath156 .
this wavevector is directed along the @xmath124-axis , and thus will only couple to the transverse phonon modes . in the interaction picture with respect to the hamiltonian ,
the laser - ion interaction becomes @xmath157 by tuning the laser beatnote such that @xmath158 with a detuning that fulfills @xmath159 , it is possible to derive the red - sideband hamiltonian @xmath160 used in the main text by making a taylor expansion in the small lamb - dicke ( ld ) parameter @xmath161 , namely @xmath162 considering the trap frequency @xmath163 mhz , and a pair of orthogonal beams such that the effective wavevector is aligned with the @xmath124-axis , @xmath164 , one estimates the bare ld parameter to be @xmath165 ( see the table in the main text ) .
note that this derivation is only valid if the rabi frequency satisfies @xmath166 in order to neglect the excitation of the carrier transition in a rotating wave approximation @xcite .
in this work , we have considered a raman rabi frequency @xmath167 khz@xmath168mhz .
once we have derived the red - sideband term , let us extend on its interpretation in terms of spin - dependent dipole forces outlined in the main text . by introducing the usual pauli matrices @xmath169 ,
the red sideband becomes @xmath170 where we have introduced the phonon operators @xmath171 in order to develop an intuitive understanding of the effects of this hamiltonian , let us initially consider a single ion subjected to one of the two non - commuting terms , say the @xmath23 part . by using a trotter decomposition for @xmath172 , the time - evolution operator can be expressed as a concatenation of the infinitesimal unitaries @xmath173 , where @xmath39 stand for the eigenstates of @xmath23 , and @xmath26 are the infinitesimal displacement operators @xmath174 depending on the spin state @xmath39 , the ion is displaced towards a particular direction in phase space .
the sequential application of these displacements yields a spin - dependent closed trajectory in phase space [ fig .
[ dipole_forces]*(a ) * ] , where we set @xmath175 . considering the relation for the displacement operator @xmath176
, the complete time evolution will be expressed as a single displacement with a spin - dependent phase of a geometric origin ( i.e. it only depends on the area enclosed by the trajectory ) .
this is precisely what underlies the phase gates in ion traps @xcite . by taking into account the collective nature of the vibrational modes ,
one finds that the geometric phases depend on the spins of all ions excited by the laser beams .
this allows to implement quantum logic operations that do not depend on the thermal ion motion .
if we consider the @xmath29 term alone , a similar argument would lead to the spin - dependent trajectories displayed in fig .
[ dipole_forces]*(b ) * , and to analogous geometric phases .
however , when both @xmath23 and @xmath29 forces are applied simultaneously , as in the red - sideband term , the trotter decomposition leads to phase - space trajectories that are not closed any more [ fig .
[ dipole_forces]*(c ) * ] .
therefore , the geometric character of the evolution and its independence with respect to the thermal motion of the ions are spoiled .
below , we show explicitly how the quantum logic gates will depend upon the thermal motion of the ions .
-force on a single trapped ion .
the phonons associated to spin - up states @xmath24,@xmath25 are displaced in phase space according to @xmath177 , @xmath178 , and form different closed paths that lead to the geometric phases @xmath28 . *
( b ) * spin - dependent @xmath29-force . *
( c ) * trotterization of the combined @xmath23 and @xmath29 forces .
the @xmath23-displacement @xmath26 shall be followed by the two possible @xmath29 displacements @xmath30 since @xmath31 ) .
hence , the phase - space trajectory is not generally closed . *
( d ) * schematic spin - echo refocusing of the @xmath29-force . by applying a @xmath32-pulse @xmath33 ( grey box ) , @xmath34 , the displacements @xmath35 are reversed ( dotted arrows ) , such that the trajectory is refocused and the closed paths yield again a geometric phase . ]
the full hamiltonian @xmath179 can be expressed in a picture where the phonon frequency is replaced by the detuning with respect to the particular sideband , namely @xmath180 this expression is now amenable to perform the adiabatic elimination of the phonons ( i.e. quasi - degenerate perturbation theory @xcite ) , and obtain the effective coupling between the qubits . in the limit of large detuning , @xmath181
, only virtual phonon excitations can take place [ fig .
[ flip_flop ] ] .
there are two possible paths for the virtual phonon exchange between two distant ions : _
i ) _ either the system virtually populates the manifold with one extra phonon , or _
ii ) _ it goes through a lower - energy manifold with one phonon less .
since these two processes have an opposite detuning , their amplitudes cancel @xmath182 , except when the exchanged phonon belongs to the same mode @xmath183 .
in such a case , one has to take into account the bosonic nature of the phonons @xmath184 , which spoils the interference between both exchange paths , and leads to an effective hamiltonian where the phonons have been eliminated @xmath185 at this point , we should note that there is a missing process in the above argument , namely that the virtually - excited phonon can be reabsorbed by the same ion . in this case , it does not lead to a phonon - mediated interaction .
due to the algebraic properties of the pauli matrices , the above cancellation between the two paths does not take place in this case , and one obtains an ac - stark shift that depends on the phonons , namely @xmath186 this term has a dramatic effect on the quantum logic gates since it couples the spins to the phonons with a strength similar to that of the desired gate .
hence , the spin dynamics becomes sensitive to the thermal motion of the ions , and the geometric character of the phase gates is lost .
we note that this term may become a gadget , rather than a limitation , in the quantum simulation of anderson localization of the vibrational excitations in an ion chain @xcite . , the energy spectrum of the hamiltonian is clustered in manifolds characterized by the total number of vibrational excitations @xmath187 , such that @xmath188 .
the energy width of these manifolds is bounded by @xmath189 , where @xmath139 .
the second order processes ( red arrows ) where a phonon is created and then reabsorbed ( or viceversa ) , give rise to a flip - flop interaction where the qubit state is exchanged between two distant ions . ]
so far , we have considered the phonon - mediated qubit - qubit interactions due to the red sideband .
we now describe the effects of a strong driving of the carrier transition @xmath190 where @xmath13 is the driving rabi frequency , and @xmath191 its phase , and @xmath11 its frequency .
let us recall that for our qubit choice , this driving can be realized with microwaves .
we consider a resonant microwave @xmath192 with @xmath193 , so that one can neglect the counter - rotating terms in eq . .
in the picture introduced above , the driven hamiltonian becomes @xmath194 for the sake of simplicity , we set @xmath195 since it does not change the essence of the decoupling mechanism described below . by moving onto the dressed - state basis , @xmath59 ,
the red - sideband term becomes @xmath196 from this expression , one readily observes that the terms involving transitions between the dressed eigenstates rotate very fast for @xmath197 , and their contribution to the effective interactions will be negligible . in order to give a stronger weight to the terms diagonal in the dressed - state basis ,
we perform the spin - dependent displacement @xmath198 .
this canonical transformation is formalized in terms of a lang - firsov - type polaron transformation @xcite as follows @xmath199 which has also been used in the context of trapped ions @xcite .
this unitary offers an alternative mechanism to obtain the spin interactions by virtual phonon exchange , and also allow us to calculate all the residual spin - phonon couplings to any desired order of the small parameter @xmath200 .
in particular , considering the algebraic properties of the spins and phonons , it transforms the relevant operators as follows @xmath201 where @xmath202 therefore , it displaces the phonon operators , whereas it rotates the spins around the @xmath124-axis .
these transformations yield the effective hamiltonian @xmath61 and the residual spin - phonon coupling @xmath203 to any order of perturbation theory , the residual spin - phonon couplings only involves terms that try to induce transitions between the dressed eigenstates , namely @xmath204 , and @xmath205 . therefore , in the limit of strong microwave driving @xmath206 , the residual spin - phonon term becomes rapidly rotating and can be neglected in a rotating wave approximation @xmath207 . for this approximation to hold
, we have to make sure that there is no resonance with a process that does not conserve the number of phonons . for the parameters of interest to our setup , it suffices to consider that @xmath66 to avoid such processes , and thus minimize the effects of the residual spin - phonon coupling . by refocusing the fast rotations induced by the resonant microwave ( as considered in the main text )
, the effective hamiltonian becomes @xmath208 , which is responsible of a geometric phase gate insensitive to the thermal motion of the ions . after the time @xmath209
, this gate @xmath210 generates the four entangled bell states @xmath211 and together with single - qubit rotations it constitutes a universal set for quantum computation . at this point ,
it is worth going back to the intuitive interpretation of the spin - dependent forces , and the associated geometric phase gates [ fig .
[ dipole_forces ] ] .
the effect of the strong driving can be understood as a continuous version of the @xmath23-pulses that refocuses the displacement caused by the @xmath29 force [ fig .
[ dipole_forces]*(d ) * ] . with this intuitive picture , it is clear that we have recovered the geometric character of the gate , and the robustness with respect to thermal motion . in the red - sideband term
, we have assumed a vanishing phase @xmath175 .
note that the effective interaction in eq .
is not modified by considering a different phase @xmath212 , or equivalently @xmath213 .
intuitively , one may consider that this phase only affects the trajectory of the displaced phonons , but not the geometric phase @xcite .
formally , this is a consequence of the perturbative process where phonon excitations are virtually created and annihilated , such that the qubit - qubit couplings only depend on terms like @xmath214 , which are independent of the laser phases . according to the raman process [ fig .
[ magnesium_levels ] ] , this type of terms follow from the absorption and emission of a photon in each of the two laser beams , thus canceling the dependence on the laser phase . note that the same insensitivity occurs in the presence of a strong driving .
this is a clear advantage with respect to m@xmath102lmer - s@xmath102rensen gates @xcite , since those depend on the phases of two different sidebands that follow from a bichromatic laser beam , and are thus subjected to fluctuations in the optical path length .
we have also assumed a vanishing phase of the carrier interaction , and argued that the essence of the decoupling mechanism is not altered .
let us consider the effects of a non - vanishing phase @xmath191 . in this case
, the dressed - state basis must be modified to @xmath215 , and thus the red - sideband excitation in that basis becomes @xmath216 note that we can still apply the same rotating wave approximation when @xmath217 , and thus neglect some of the terms in the above expression .
this encourages a modification of the polaron - type transformation @xmath218 , where we have introduced the dressed spin operator @xmath219 . by the same argument used above
, we see that the phase appearing in the polaron transformation does not play any role .
hence , we would obtain an the same effective hamiltonian as in eq . , but
changing @xmath220 .
we have thus arrived at the final conclusion that the effective hamiltonian does only depend on the phase of the carrier excitation , but not on the phase of the red sideband .
this is a clear advantage for our qubit choice , since the carrier phase comes from a microwave source , which is more stable than the laser beams leading to the sideband .
the internal level structure of trapped ions can be perturbed by uncontrolled external electric and magnetic fields . since the stark shifts are typically small @xcite , one is only concerned with magnetic - field fluctuations of the resonance frequency @xmath221 . for clock states , either there is no such magnetic - field dependence ( e.g. @xmath222 have both zero magnetic moment ) , or the linear zeeman shift vanishes at a certain magnetic field . in such cases ,
the internal state coherence times can reach even minutes . on the other hand , when none of the above conditions holds , one refers to magnetic - field sensitive states whose typical coherence times are reduced by magnetic - field fluctuations to @xmath2231 - 10ms .
the fluctuation of the resonance frequency introduces a term in the hamiltonian @xmath84 , where @xmath224 fluctuates , @xmath225 is the bohr magneton , and @xmath226 the hyperfine @xmath226-factor .
low - frequency fluctuations ( i.e. fluctuations that only take place between different experimental runs ) can be easily prevented by using spin - echo sequences @xcite .
on the other hand , the effects of fast - frequency fluctuations can not be refocused unless complicated dynamical - decoupling sequences are used .
we are concerned with this type of fast fluctuations , which lead to an exponential decay of the coherences @xmath227 as measured by ramsey interferometry @xcite . in order to reproduce such an exponential decay
, we use a paradigmatic model of noise where @xmath85 corresponds to a stationary , markovian , and gaussian random process .
such a stochastic process is known as a ornstein - uhlenbeck process @xcite , and is characterized by the following langevin equation @xmath228 where @xmath86 is the diffusion constant , @xmath87 the correlation time , and @xmath229 is a gaussian white noise that fulfills @xmath230 , @xmath231 .
this particular stochastic differential equation can be integrated exactly yielding a gaussian random process with the following mean and variance @xmath232 which show that the correlation time @xmath87 sets the time scale over which the process relaxes to the asymptotic values .
besides , the autocorrelation function @xmath233 shows that @xmath87 also sets the time scale such that the values of process are correlated or not , where we have assumed a vanishing mean as customary .
of primary importance to the numerical simulations is the update formula @xmath234^{\frac{1}{2}}n,\ ] ] where @xmath134 is a unit gaussian random variable : this formula is valid for an arbitrary discretization @xmath235 , @xcite , and is thus ideally suited to for the numerical integration .
the single - qubit coherences are affected by this type of noise .
considering the initial state @xmath96 , one obtains @xmath236 where @xmath237 is the random process given by the time integral of @xmath85 , and its autocorrelation function is @xmath238 in the limit of short correlation times @xmath239 , one obtains an exponential damping with a decay time @xmath89 .
let us finally comment on the modification of the lang - firsov transformation in the presence of the magnetic noise , which would lead to extra residual spin - phonon couplings
. however , these contributions are negligible for the regime of interest @xmath240-@xmath241 ms .
this can be understood by considering the variance at long times , which leads to @xmath242 .
since the magnetic - field noise in ion traps corresponds to the limit @xmath239 , we have considered @xmath243 throughout the text , which leads to a typical noise strength in the 0.1 - 1 khz regime .
accordingly , @xmath244 , and the residual spin - phonon couplings that come from the lang - firsov transformation can be neglected . in the main text of this manuscript ,
we have quantified the efficiency of the quantum gate for particular entangled bell states .
however , it is also desirable to evaluate how close is the real time - evolution of the system to the desired unitary @xmath95 .
this can be quantified by the following fidelity @xmath245 where one integrates over the whole hilbert space of two - qubit states @xmath246 , and @xmath247 is the quantum channel that describes the real time - evolution of the trapped - ion setup @xmath248 where @xmath249 describes the time - evolution of the complete spin - phonon system including the stochastic average over the magnetic field noise , and @xmath250 corresponds to the thermal gibbs state for the phonons . the integral over the state space in eq .
makes the computation of the quantum channel fidelity rather inefficient , specially if one considers the additional random sampling over the magnetic field noise .
an alternative to this method is the evaluation of the so - called entanglement fidelity for the channel @xcite , which can be expressed as follows @xmath251 where @xmath252 is the maximally entangled state between the physical two - qubit system , and an ancillary copy of it .
hence , @xmath253 , and @xmath254 . in the expression of the entanglement fidelity ,
the quantum channel does not act on the ancillary qubits , namely @xmath255 the crucial point is that this entanglement fidelity is related to the quantum channel fidelity @xcite by the following expression @xmath256 therefore , it suffices to calculate the entanglement fidelity , which turns out to be computationally less demanding in the present setup , and then infer the value of the quantum channel fidelity via eq . . in fig .
[ channel_fidelity ] , we present our results for this ancillary - assisted estimation of the quantum gate error @xmath257 ( red line ) , and compare it to a discretized version of the haar measure in , which we have denoted as @xmath258 ( yellow dots ) . to perform the integral over state space , we sample randomly over @xmath259 different initial states , and average the corresponding fidelities .
let us also note that we have considered @xmath260 different dephasing times @xmath261 $ ] ms , each of which requires a statistical average over @xmath262 different histories of the stochastic process describing the magnetic - field noise .
accordingly , the estimation of @xmath263 requires the numerical integration of @xmath264 evolutions of the spin - phonon system , which is more demanding than the ancillary - based method . from the results in fig .
[ channel_fidelity ] , we conclude that the quantum channel error approaches the fault - tolerance region even in the presence of the magnetic - field noise . of the quantum channel @xmath247 for the time - evolution of the two - ion system with respect to the desired quantum gate @xmath265 .
the error is estimated according to the discretized version @xmath263 of eq .
( yellow dots ) , and compared to the ancillary - assisted estimate @xmath266(red solid line ) in . ] finally , let us compare our scheme for robust quantum gates with other existing protocols .
we place a special emphasis on the state - of - the - art experimental implementations where the natural noise sources limiting the fidelities have been discussed ( see @xcite and references therein ) .
let us first consider the implementations of the cirac - zoller scheme for two - ion quantum gates with the highest fidelities @xmath267 for gate times @xmath268 ms @xcite .
these fidelities were limited by two error sources , namely , off - resonant contributions to the carrier transition , and fluctuating laser frequencies and magnetic fields shifting the resonance frequency .
additionally , these experiments require single - ion addressing and a perfect laser cooling to the motional ground - state , which can be hard to extend to larger ion registers .
as shown in the main text , our scheme overcomes all these problems .
the carrier is continuously driven so that the above off - resonant contribution plays no significant role ( note , however , that we must still be careful with the off - resonant contributions to other zeeman sublevels ) .
the fluctuations of the resonance frequency are cured by the continuous decoupling mechanism . besides , single - ion addressing during the gate is not required , and we have shown that there is no necessity of perfect ground - state cooling , while potentially attaining higher fidelities @xmath269 with similar speeds @xmath270 ms .
let us now compare our scheme to the so - called @xmath271 geometric phase gates @xcite , which achieved a fidelity @xmath272 for two - qubit gates with speeds @xmath273 ms .
our gate scheme shares some of the advantages of this gate , such as the robustness to thermal fluctuations of the ion motion , the absence of single - ion addressability , and the resilience to off - resonant contributions to the carrier transition .
it is precisely the latter which allows the @xmath271-gate to attain higher speeds as compared to the above cirac - zoller gates .
in fact , these speeds are required to achieve such high fidelities in the presence of the errors due to due to drifts of the laser frequencies and fluctuating magnetic fields .
besides , the photon scattering due to the raman beam arrangement introduces additional decoherence .
our scheme overcomes the fluctuations in the resonance frequency by means of the continuous decoupling , which allows us to boost the coherence times far beyond the millisecond regime , reaching higher fidelities @xmath269 for slower gates @xmath270 ms .
in fact , the dynamical decoupling allows still slower gates so that we may use a lower rabi frequency for the raman beams , or alternatively a larger detuning with respect to the auxiliary dipole - allowed transition , thus reducing further the noise by photon scattering @xcite .
let us finally note that a source of dephasing noise common to both gate schemes is that of fluctuating rabi frequencies of the spin - phonon couplings .
this problem can be overcome by stabilizing the laser intensities on long time scales .
we now compare our proposal to the mlmer - srensen scheme for hyperfine qubits @xcite , also known as the @xmath274 geometric phase gate .
the best fidelities achieved @xmath275 for gate speeds @xmath276 ms were limited by fluctuating ac - stark shifts and photon scattering from the auxiliary excited state @xcite .
our scheme solves the fluctuating ac - stark shifts by the dynamical decoupling , and may minimize the photon scattering at the expense of using slower gates ( note that the gates are still much faster than the coherence time enhanced via the decoupling mechanism ) .
hence , it can reach higher fidelities @xmath269 while preserving the advantages of the @xmath274-gate , which is insensitive to thermal fluctuations @xcite , uses a laser beam configuration that makes it resilient to slow drifts of the laser phases @xcite , and overcomes magnetic field fluctuations by using magnetic - field insensitive states @xcite .
as emphasized in the main text , one of the challenges of quantum - information processing is the implementation of quantum logic gates below the fault - tolerance threshold .
so far , this has only been achieved for ion optical qubits coupled by a mlmer - srensen ( ms ) scheme @xcite , which achieved fidelities @xmath277 for two ground - state cooled ions with gate speeds of @xmath278 ms . as a consequence of the vanishingly small spontaneous decay rate on the optical transition , the scheme is completely insensitive to the photon scattering that occurs for hyperfine qubits due to the raman beams .
the remaining sources of noise are caused by off - resonant contributions to the carrier transition , fluctuations of the laser frequency , and changes in the laser intensities .
we note that our scheme can overcome two of these errors reaching similar fidelities @xmath269 , while it shares the sensitivity to fluctuations of the spin - phonon laser rabi frequencies .
the advantage of our decoupling protocol becomes more relevant as the ion number is increased , since the sensitivity of the ms scheme to magnetic field noise grows quadratically with the number of ions @xcite . in the above schemes ,
most of the errors are caused by the particular imperfections of the laser beam arrangements .
recently , there has been a growing interest in developing quantum gates that use radio - frequency or microwave radiation @xcite , which directly overcome the problems due to photon scattering in the raman configuration , and benefit from the better control over the amplitude and phase of this type of radiation . in @xcite ,
two - qubit quantum gates for clock states with a fidelity of @xmath279 and speeds of @xmath280 ms were achieved by means of oscillating magnetic - field gradients generated in the near - field of microwave currents . in this case
, the leading source of error corresponds to the contributions of the oscillating gradient to the carrier transition , and effective ac - zeeman shifts . in @xcite ,
a two - qubit gate with fidelity @xmath281 for @xmath282 ms , has been achieved by means of static magnetic field gradients and radio - frequency radiation .
we note that the leading source of noise in this case is caused by the decoherence induced by magnetic field fluctuations . in comparison
, our proposal for hyperfine or zeeman qubits constitutes an hybrid between the laser- and mircrowave - based methods , which can overcome some of these natural errors and potentially reach the fault - tolerance threshold regime .
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lett . a * 303 , * 249 ( 2002 ) . ] | arxiv |
Eastwood Scottish Gaelic: A' Choille an Ear, Scots: Eastwid was a local government district in the Strathclyde region of Scotland from 1975 to 1996, lying south-west of the City of Glasgow.
Local Government
The district was named after the larger civil parish of Eastwood, itself named after a long-vanished woodland.<ref>[http://www.british-history.ac.uk/report.asp?compid=43436#s16 Eastwood, or Pollock, Topographical Dictionary of Scotland, 1846 British History Online]</ref> The Local Government district was formed from the area of the First District of the former county of Renfrewshire. It was one of nineteen local government districts in the Strathclyde region. The council's headquarters were at Giffnock.
The Local Government etc. Scotland Act 1994 abolished all of the districts and regions. The Eastwood District was merged with a few parts of the Renfrew District the sector covering Barrhead to form the East Renfrewshire unitary council area.
Electoral History
District result maps
Constituencies
The Eastwood Westminster constituency was created in 1983, and the Eastwood Holyrood constituency, with the same boundaries, in 1999.
The Westminster constituency was renamed East Renfrewshire'' in 2005. The Holyrood constituency retains its original name.
See also
Subdivisions of Scotland
References
Category:Districts of Scotland
Category:East Renfrewshire
Category:Parishes of Scotland
Category:Giffnock
Category:History of Renfrewshire
Category:Newton Mearns
Category:Clarkston, East Renfrewshire | wikipedia |
is a Japanese film director, animator, and writer born in 1974 in Osaka, where he is currently based. Nishio started his career as an animator on anime including Moldiver and the TV series Sosei kishi Gaiasu. As a teenager, he started working on sets of movies by Japanese director Kinji Fukasaku. He moved on from animation, starting off with short films, before making his first feature film National Anthema horror filmin 2003. His next movie was the surreal Ochon-chan: Pussy's Adventures in Love and Revolution Ochonchan no ai to bōken to kakumei おちょんちゃんの愛と冒険と革命 in 2005. Ochon-chan was picked for Osaka's CO2 Film Festival, and then was one of two movies selected from that to feature at the 2005 Raindance Film Festival in London.
His most recent film Hakodate Coffee was shot in Hokkaido, Japan, and was based on the manga of the same name.
His recent movies are often generally quirky dramas, with a touch of comedy, set in rural Japan. Nishio won the Osaka Film Festival New Director's Award in 2013, for Souru furawâ torein.
Filmography
Hakodate Coffee
Souru furawâ torein
National Anthem film
Ochon-chan: Pussy's Adventures in Love and Revolution
References
External links
Category:Japanese directors
Category:1974 births
Category:Living people | wikipedia |
a 15-year - old boy with sws underwent recession of the lateral rectus muscle ( oculus sinister [ os ] , 7.7 mm ) , resection of the medial rectus muscle ( os , 6.0 mm ) and infratransposition of the horizontal muscle with 1/4 tendon width ( os ) for the treatment of 30 prism - diopter sensory exotropia .
the patient had port - wine stains ( hemangioma ) on the left side of his upper lid and forehead [ fig .
the patient had laser therapy for the treatment of the port - wine stains on his skin .
six years before the surgery , choroidal hemangioma and optic disc cupping enlargement were both identified on a fundus examination ( os ) [ fig .
the patient 's preoperative best corrected visual acuity ( bcva ) was 1.0 ( + 0.50 diopter sphere/0.50 dipopter cylinder 180 ) and 0.125 ( 0.5 diopter sphere/2.25 diopter cylinder 180 ) oculus dexter and os , respectively . the bcva ( os ) decreased to hand motion 10 days after the surgery .
one month after the surgery , the bcva decreased to light perception ; a slit lamp and fundus examination showed total erd ( os ) [ fig .
b - scan ultrasonography revealed erd with a huge dome - shaped choroidal hemangioma [ fig .
( a ) port wine stains on the left upper eyelid and forehead ( postlaser treatment ) , ( b ) choroidal hemangioma ( tomato - catsup fundus , arrow heads ) in fundus photograph postoperative findings . ( a ) severe exudative retinal detachment ( erd ) is seen behind the lens , ( b ) a and b scan ultrasonography shows erd ( arrow heads ) and a diffuse and thick choroidal hemangioma with high internal reflectivity ( asterix ) pars plans vitrectomy ( ppv ) with internal drainage of the subretinal fluid ( srf ) , fluid - gas exchange , endolaser photocoagulation , intravitreal bevacizumab injection and silicone oil tamponade was performed .
eight days after the ppv , the bcva was finger count 10 cm and some srf on the macula remained .
diffuse choroidal hemangioma can develop into a severe erd , which can be induced by glaucoma surgery . a sudden decompression of the globe during or after surgeries
is thought to be the possible mechanism of erd induction after ocular surgeries . to avoid the sudden drop in the intraocular pressure ( iop ) , nonpenetrating glaucoma surgery , such as deep sclerotomy is recommended in patients with sws or choroidal hemangioma .
however , erd following deep sclerotomy in sws has also been reported . in the present case ,
erd developed following strabismus surgery , and the erd is presumed to have developed before the first follow - up because the bcva at postoperative day 7 ( the first follow - up after the strabismus surgery ) was decreased to hand motion .
this case shows that strabismus surgery can induce erd in the patient with sws and diffuse choroidal hemangioma , even though it does not penetrate the eyeball and does not decrease the iop suddenly .
it suggests that , without the sudden iop drop , stimulation to the choroidal hemangioma such as manipulation of an eyeball or moderate change of iop can induce erd in some cases with sws and diffuse choroidal hemangioma . in filtering surgery ,
preoperative screening for choroidal hemangioma in sws has been advocated , although there is a controversy regarding the need for posterior sclerotomy to prevent the intraoperative or postoperative chroidal hemorrhage or erd .
if surgical manipulation of the eyeball or diffuse hemangioma might be a stimulus to induce erd , as in the present case , prophylactic posterior sclerotomy could be another trigger .
we could not find previous reports of erd following strabismus surgery in sws in a computerized search utilizing pubmed .
therefore , we report the case of erd as a complication of strabismus surgery in sws and further study is warranted to confirm that the screening for choroidal hemangioma before strabismus surgery in sws should be recommended . | pubmed |
What happens with tight boundary conditions in the V-CYCLE while doing numerical Electrodynamics
My problem is very simple to understand. We are trying to solve the Laplace equation in a domain that has sufficient boundary conditions to converge to some solution.
Our example is this.
[![enter image description here](https://i.stack.imgur.com/eVEze.png)](https://i.stack.imgur.com/eVEze.png)
2 Electrodes (1 outer Annulus and 1 inner circular Electrode) are in the center of our domain. The outer electrode is set at a constant potential of 30V while the inner one at a constant potential of -30V. In that sense the physical domain they both occupy, represent Dirichlet B.C. The edges of the whole rectangular Domain were set to 0V constant but i thought the photo would look boring so i set them to have an oscillating potential. This does not affect the point of the question i just wanted a nice desktop background.
So the easiest way to handle this computationally is by doing the Finite Difference Method.
[![enter image description here](https://i.stack.imgur.com/obY1u.png)](https://i.stack.imgur.com/obY1u.png)
I went for the explicit Jacobi iteration because it is embarrassingly easy to multi-process correctly.
The problem is both Jacobi and GS converge relatively slowly. Successive over-relaxation on the GS method can make it converge ~10x faster but Wikipedia says the V\_Cycle can do it many orders of magnitude faster so i wanted to give it a try.
As i understand the procedure:
1. You start with a given Mesh in the FDM scheme.
2. Chose a number of inner iterations and Cycles you will apply (example 4 coarsening each 50 inner iterations)
3. You apply X inner iterations with an iterative method to converge the potential (Jacobi, GS, SOR etc...)
4. You Coarsen the mesh by mapping it in a lower resolution.
5. You apply X inner iterations to the Coarsened mesh
6. Repeat steps 3-4 until you are satisfied with mesh resolution
7. Now apply a sequence of mesh smoothing and Inner iterations until you reach your original resolution again (inverse of 3-5)
8. Steps 2-6 are 1 V\_cycle iteration. You repeat until satisfied with convergence criterion
To note here is that you can either work with a number of inner iterations or inner convergence criterion for each coarsening/smoothing inside the Cycle.
* Now my problem here is this. What happens with boundary conditions in the FDM? I can see this work as intended in FVM and FEM because they can work with simplex elements or elements of arbitrary shape. That means i can define for e.x Dirichlet boundaries on an edge (in 2D case) and simply reduce/coarsen the number of faces that touch that edge.
My method to handle the boundaries of arbitrary objects is the Mask method. Each array is given a secondary array of the same dimension made up of Integers that are either 0 or positive (1 is a choice). Paired with if statements they can do Boolean logic when you iterate over them.
This is how our Mask looks like. Electrodes are represented by a 0, anything else is 1
[![enter image description here](https://i.stack.imgur.com/yjg0N.png)](https://i.stack.imgur.com/yjg0N.png)
For example, if we have a discrete 50x50 mesh that has a circle of radius 5 in the center at some potential P, we create a Mask 50x50 array that has elements 0 in the Same indices where our Potential array has value P. The Mask needs to have elements 1 over the indices where we want the Laplace equation to be calculated. So essentially the mask for a Circular electrode would be a matrix that has 0's where the electrode is and 1's everywhere else. It's actual potential would be a Matrix that has 0's everywhere, and some value P where the circle is.
When we do the coarsening process, Let's pretend we have 2 objects at constant potential that are very close. The smallest mesh element is a square of side 'h'.
The separation of the objects is ~2\*h
When we coarsen the mesh by a factor of 4 (i.e we have a 13x13 mesh from 50x50 rounded to nearest integer) the resolution becomes a big problem, because now the electrodes are not spatially separated anymore, and hence the small space between them is also considered a Dirichlet B.C if we use the "coarsen\_mesh" method i provided in code.
Like here, we dropped our mesh from 4K (2160x3840) to (10x19)
[![enter image description here](https://i.stack.imgur.com/StzQJ.png)](https://i.stack.imgur.com/StzQJ.png)
As we can see there is no more separation between the Electrodes. And the Mask does not recognize the Annuls at all.
[![enter image description here](https://i.stack.imgur.com/RNqUR.png)](https://i.stack.imgur.com/RNqUR.png)
The only 0 elements here that represent Dirichlet B.C are the 5 black squares in the center. The outer ring will get iterated over and will lose its status as a constant potential during upscaling in the second part of the V\_cycle with the smooth function.
This has 2 outcomes IF YOU MANAGE to coarsen the mask correctly. (which i have not been able to do with high fidelity)
1. The small spaces between electrodes are considered Dirichlet. They are not iterated over and given values Higher than expected during iterations with higher resolution
2. Details about the exact geometry of the Array get lost during coarsen/smoothen cycles, and it might deviated from the coarsened/smoothened Mask. This is if you manage to smooth the Mask correctly because my Coarsen/Smoothen code does not work for 2-valued integer arrays without messing up the logic.
The literature on google on the topic is very scarce and i have only managed to find pseudocode examples that i had already come up with myself.
If anyone has experience on the topic, i understand that the Mask has to be re-applied to every down-res , up-res in the Cycle and need to be changed. But how do you avoid problems like very tight spaces, or the Mask deviating completely from the Potential?
Would the most logical choice of action be to ONLY keep track of the Mask shape during the first Coarsening Cycle? Because like this we are guaranteed fidelity for both low-res and high-res cases. Since we started with a high res mask we do not need to perform upscaling on the low-res Mask.
Code is found here in Jupyter format: [Here](https://github.com/dcthecook/electrodynamics/blob/main/CYTHON_Jacobi_Multiprocessed.ipynb)
Here to give an update on the answer.
You can achieve very high fidelity Mask resolutions apparently by simply doing some proper rounding.
My downscaling function 'coarsen\_potential' in the Jupyter Notebook i linked is ok but it needs to be rounded to either 0 or 1 and then convert the mask array to int using np.asarray(). For comparison i created this mask in 1080p:
[![enter image description here](https://i.stack.imgur.com/5Tb6m.png)](https://i.stack.imgur.com/5Tb6m.png)
The mask coarsening achieved by the old method:
[![enter image description here](https://i.stack.imgur.com/BPjHM.png)](https://i.stack.imgur.com/BPjHM.png)
The mask achieved by using proper rounding:
np.asarray(np.rint(coarsen\_potential(mask, 0.02)), dtype='int')
[![enter image description here](https://i.stack.imgur.com/9RJcl.png)](https://i.stack.imgur.com/9RJcl.png)
Even tho there is loss (one can easily see the Symmetry disparity in the inner electrode) It is still better than complete loss of information.
Here we downgraded a 2160\*3840 array by a truncation factor of 0.02 so the coarsened array has dimensions of 21x38
One other little problems that remains is the correctness of the interpolation back to higher dimensions. Since we are not guaranteed to get the exact same mask after in a coarsen-interpolate cycle, the best choice is to save the mask arrays in memory and interpolate only the potential and not the mask.
Another function called 'add\_dirichlet' was created for this purpose too. Since the mask is refreshed every inner iteration of the V\_cycle, the function will re-apply the dirichlet boundaries in the proper mask indexes of the new mask.
This solution should very elegantly take care of Dirichlet conditions for the V\_cycle.
| stackexchange/physics |
Wrestling It's Enough
A/N: This story takes place the night of Summerslam, after AJ lost the Divas title to Paige for the second time.
Plotted and written to early PJ Harvey (the albums "Dry" and especially "Rid of Me") and various Sleater-Kinney (some notable tracks: "Call the Doctor" "Ironclad" "All Hands on the Bad One" "Light-Rail Coyote" "Dig Me Out" "Turn It On" "Get Up" "The Drama You've Been Craving" "Not What You Want" "The End of You" and our title track "It's Enough")
This fic smells like ylang ylang and/or Lush Flying Fox shower gel.
Also brought to you by several homemade margaritas made with Herradura Añejo tequila.
Enjoy!
* * *
AJ lay in her hotel room's bed in her pajamas, flipping aimlessly through the channels, trying to get her mind to shut off so she could sleep, but the inane Sunday night programming just made her angrier. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop replaying her match with Paige in her head. How could she have lost the Divas title – _her _title – again? To Paige! It didn't make any sense. How could she have gotten so distracted?
When AJ was in the ring with Paige, sometimes – okay, a lot of times, and that night, definitely – it was like this weird little cloud wrapped around AJ's brain, and it smelled like Paige and her stupid Lush body wash or whatever and it made AJ feel kind of goofy and tingly and at that point, she had to admit, it felt kind of nice when Paige hit her and even better when Paige wrapped herself around AJ and...
No, that was dumb. All AJ wanted was the Divas title and whatever tricks Paige was pulling to try to get it away from her.. well, they weren't going to work anymore. Paige might have gotten lucky but this was the last time. Absolutely the last time. Because AJ didn't like Paige. At all.
When AJ heard the knock on the door, she realized that she had somehow managed to curl herself into the tightest, angriest little ball, nails digging into her palms. She growled as she unfurled herself and stomped off the bed. Who the hell was banging on the door so fucking late?
AJ had to stand on tiptoe to get her eye to the peephole - most poorly designed hotel room ever – and when she did she saw.. Paige? PAIGE?! She opened the door as hard as she could.
"What the hell do y… how did you even know which room I was in?" AJ snarled.
"There was this lovely little man working at the desk, and he told me he wasn't supposed to tell me, but well…" Paige said, with a shrug and an unconvincing innocent smile. "Anyway, mind if I come in?"
AJ did mind. In fact, she minded very much. But just as AJ opened her mouth to give what would no doubt be a stern and intimidating rejection, Paige pushed past with a giggle, ruffling AJ's hair as she walked past.
"What are you even watching, AJ?" Paige said. "The Slap Chop commercial? That seems like, I don't know, not something you'd get much use out of on the road, right?"
AJ scowled at Paige. "What are you even doing here? What, you just had to rub it in? You got lucky. Get out of here."
Paige's entire face drooped with a sadness AJ assumed wasn't genuine. "I'm hurt," Paige said. "All I wanted to do was try to make you feel better."
AJ crossed her arms tightly over her chest as she backed away from Paige toward the bed. "You aren't doing a very good job. Come on, I just want to go to sleep."
With each step AJ took back toward the bed, Paige lunged in even closer until, before AJ knew it, she was backed up against the bed. Reflexively, AJ retreated onto the bed. Paige followed and, with a surprising casualness, climbed on top of AJ.
"What are you doing?" AJ said, sounding far meeker than she intended. There was that stupid cloud again. Why couldn't she push Paige off? She wanted to push Paige off, didn't she? Of course she did.
"Making you feel better, of course," Paige said. Paige's breath tickled AJ's ear and it was definitely not helping this hot, tingly thing in AJ's body, like all of AJ's nerves were jumping up through the thin fabric of her boxer shorts and tank top and grabbing the warmth from Paige's skin and shooting it straight through her body, right between her legs.
"No you're not," AJ choked out.
"Shh.." Paige said as she brought her lips to AJ's. AJ felt her lips part, felt her mouth move against Paige's, felt her tongue slide through Paige's lips. And for the first time that night since that match, AJ felt good.
Their kiss was slow, starting gently, but AJ pressed harder, pushed deeper, needy for more. As she did, Paige responded in kind, and soon AJ felt a little bit dizzy and found herself gasping for breath whenever she found an opening – which wasn't often. But soon Paige broke away and sat up, still straddling AJ, with a soft smirk on her face, then leaned forward again and slid AJ's tank top up. AJ shivered just a little as cold air hit newly-exposed and sensitive skin.
"It's okay," Paige whispered before her mouth descended upon one of AJ's nipples, sucking roughly as her hand cupped and kneaded AJ's other breast. The sudden onslaught of sensation made AJ gasp at first, but that quickly turned into a shaky moan of pleasure.
One of AJ's hands pulled at Paige's hair while the other grabbed at Paige's ass, trying to release some of the intense vibrating sensation inside of her. Seemingly in response, Paige sank her teeth in, sending a shock of pleasure and pain through AJ so intense she had to bite her lip to keep from shrieking. Paige chuckled as she pulled away for a moment before moving to the other side.
After a little while of this, leaving AJ's body glittering with sensation, Paige sat up again, pulled AJ up with her, and lifted AJ's tank top up over her head. AJ fumbled her fingers under Paige's shirt, but as she did, Paige spun her so that her back was against Paige's chest, gently held AJs wrists in front of her, and trailed her tongue up AJ's neck.
"It's okay," Paige whispered. "Just let me make you feel better."
"But I…" AJ started, but Paige, of course, interrupted, drawing a trail of sucking kisses up AJ's neck as her hand snaked its way into AJ's shorts. Paige moaned her approval into AJ's neck as she teased her finger between AJ's inner lips into the ample wetness there.
AJ couldn't help but push back against Paige's hand, begging for just a little bit more. In response, Paige slipped her middle finger inside, drawing the smallest gasping moan from AJ.
"That's so pretty," Paige said, her voice sounding reverent and far away as she pushed her finger in harder, curling it upward. As she did, her thumb found AJ's clit and circled it – tentatively or teasingly, AJ wasn't sure which. Paige's lips found AJ's again and sucked in the moan that her touch drew out. AJ kissed back eagerly – her nerves were all on fire in the best way possible, craving more, craving everything Paige could give her.
Paige's other arm wrapped around AJ and slid up her body, eventually coming to rest around AJ's breasts, fingernails pulling at one nipple as her other thumb rubbed at AJ's clit. It all filled AJ with a gorgeous, fluttering feeling – lovely but absolutely not enough. AJ broke her lips away from Paige's for a split second.
"Please," AJ begged softly.
Paige's eyes glinted as she began to rub harder, her middle finger hooking deeper and harder inside AJ, finding that glittering spot of perfection. As she did, her other hand slid up to AJ's neck, squeezing just enough to make AJ flush with pleasure and a bit of the shame of discovery.
"Just like that," AJ moaned. "Maybe a little tighter."
"Something else we have in common," Paige murmured as she squeezed AJ's throat tighter, just enough to make breathing a little bit of a struggle, glossing the edges of dizzy pleasure deliciously. Paige began to kiss her again, deep and wet now, a bit sloppy, which felt perfect as the multitude of sensations coursing through AJ seemed to conspire to drown her in pleasure.
Finally, overtaken, her body writhed relentlessly and an odd cacophony of shrill and guttural sounds blasted out of her in wave after crashing wave, until she collapsed against Paige in a complete, perfect exhaustion.
Paige held AJ close for a little while, her face nestled in AJ's neck, until she let go and carefully placed AJ under the covers of the bed.
"Let me…" AJ muttered, reaching up for Paige.
"It's enough. Just go to sleep," Paige said. "This won't be the last time."
End file.
| fanfiction |
the beef tapeworm ( taenia saginata ) is a common infection of both humans and cattle around the world , especially in areas where beef is eaten .
areas where the infection has high prevalence include sub - saharan africa , southeast asia and the middle east
. it does occur in the united states , but it is not common due to high sanitation standards .
a 47-year - old woman was admitted to our outpatient clinic with a 2-month history of intermittent epigastric pain . her physical examination and the results of routine blood tests were unremarkable .
her abdominal x - ray and abdominal ultrasonography was normal . on upper gastroduodenal endoscopy ,
a live tapeworm was found ( fig.1 ) , extending from the proximal corpus to the third portion of the duodenum , during the endoscopy worm curls around the endoscope as it supposes the scope is the same of its kind .
but after the scope hits and pursues the worm , it escapes . in the upper gastroduodenal endoscopy ; there was pale antral mucosa with a shiny surface and mild nodularity , which gastric biopsy revealed antral atrophic gastritis with h. pylori infection .
the patient was treated with single dose ( 600 mg ) of praziquantel for t. saginata infestation and we decided to follow up the patient for her chronic atrophic gastritis .
after 1 month , she was symptom free and specific exams showed no trace of the parasite .
the patient was given a single dose of praziquantel : 15 mg / kg body weight .
parasitological controls ( two series of three fecal samples each ) , perfor - med two months later , were negative for proglottides in stool specimens .
taenia saginata , or the beef tapeworm , is a parasite of both cattle and humans , which can only reproduce in humans .
adult worms residing in the small intestine of a human will lay eggs in the proglottids , which are then released in feces .
once proglottids eaten by cattle , the eggs released in the stomach , the digestive enzymes will break down the eggs , allowing the development of oncos - pheres , or zygotes .
the zygotes penetrate through the mucous lining of the digestive tract and circulate through the blood stream , where they develop into small larvae .
larva will develop into cysts with the muscle tissue and have been found in the liver and the lungs of the intermediate host . in humans ,
once the stomach acids break down the cysticercus ( cyst containing larva ) , the worm will move into the intestine to evolution .
the worm after about two months , reaches an average size of about sixteen feet .
the beef tapeworm can reach an average body length between thirteen and thirty - two feet , although some individuals can grow to be thirty - nine feet in length .
it can live to be twenty - five years of age within a host ( 1 , 2 ) most taeniasis infections are asymptomatic . when symptoms occur , hosts may experience abdominal pain , headaches , dizziness , weight loss , diarrhea , nausea , constipation , and chronic indigestion . in humans , the tapeworm may cause a blockage in the intestine or cause an allergic reaction when it releases antigens .
taeniasis due to t. saginata is relatively common in africa , some parts of eastern europe , the philippines , russia , and latin america .
it is rare in the united states , except in places where cattle and people are concentrated and sanitation is poor . in iran , taeniasis is common particularly on western and central regions of the caspian sea ( 3 ) .
other reported compli - cations include intestinal obstruction ( 2 ) , obstruction of bile ducts or pancreatic duct ( 4 ) , abnormal vaginal bleeding ( 5 ) and rarely anastomotic leak ( 6 ) or granulomatous gastritis ( 7 ) .
taeniasis can be treated using medicines including praziquantel ( 10mg / kg ) ( 9 ) which paralyzes the worm and allows the host to flush it out of the intestines . in order to prevent an infection in humans , it is important to exactly cook beef products .
salting or freezing the beef products will also kills the infective larvae within the meat , but other measures , like sanitary disposal of human waste , should be taken . in this patient ,
t. saginata upward migrated from small intestine to the stomach . because of the high gastric acidity , worm skedaddled but in this case because of ppi use and coexistence h. pylori infection , acidity of stomach
ethical issues ( including plagiarism , informed consent , misconduct , data fabrication and/or falsification , double publication and/or submission , redundancy , etc . ) have been completely observed by the authors . | pubmed |
Digimon, Naruto 1. Chapter 1
AN: This is my first story so please go easy on me.
Disclaimer: All I own is the plot and my OC's
On a small dirt road there walked a lone traveler. His destination? The Village Hidden in the Leaves, also called Konaha. To most people he looked strange; a man in a red full body cloak with the hood up is not something you see every day.
"Halt" said one of the guards.
"Slowly lower your hood, please." the man gave a sigh then complied.
"Papers?" his partner asked, "And would you please take off that mask?" the man looked at him in confusion then felt his face.
"Dang it. Forgot I was still in this form." the blond armor clad warrior said before he was enveloped in hundreds of little bars of blue light. The two guards were alert, ready for anything. When the light went away a black haired young man, who looked to be twenty, took the place of the warrior.
"Sorry for that, where I'm from we usually don't worry about our changing forms." The guards stayed alert. The man handed one of the guards several papers and waited.
"Why does it say you have two names?" asked one of the guards.
"As you saw I have two forms. This one is the form I was born in. However the other one was given to me by the spirits."
"So you're a monk?" asked the first guard.
"Sort of" The guards continued to search his papers till they came to the last page.
"It says here you are searching for something. What are you looking for?" The man sighed again.
"Though the spirits have found me worthy of the form they gave me they said I was not worthy of both halves of it. As such they told me to find the one who can handle the responsibility of being what we are."
"Please wait here for a few minutes and you will be escorted to the Hokage." The man nodded then sat and started to meditate. He was drawn out of his trance as for people in mask land next to the gate guards.
"Honō-san? Please fallow us" said the man in the hawk mask.
2. Chapter 2
Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Third Hokage, was not having a good day. First his secretary quit, then the coffee machine broke down, and now he was facing one of the most horrifying creatures in existence. Many a men had faced this beast and only one was known to have defeated it.
"Curse you Minato, Curse you to the lowest levels of hell." The Hokage sighed as he pulled yet another stack of papers on to his desk. "You could have at least told me how you beat the paper work. I swear every time I look away it grows." There was a knock on his door.
"WHAT!" he yelled at the person who dared to interrupt him. The door opened to show ANBE Hawk and his team escorting a young man dressed all in red.
"Hokage-sama we brought Honō-san, as ordered." The aging Hokage pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Thank you Hawk. Dismissed." the ANBE bowed then they all disappeared, thought they did not leave the room. The Hokage gestured to the seat in front of his desk.
"Please take a seat." Honō bowed slightly then sat. "My men tell me that you are here looking for someone." Honō nodded.
"Sir, maybe I should explain it better."
He gestured for Honō to continue. Honō took out a folder and handed it to the aging Hokage.
"Before his death the Yondaime Hokage sent me on a one man mission to investigate several mysterious disappearances. To keep my cover I was listed as MIA thought KIA on a separate mission."
"So the papers you gave the guards…"
"Were made by the Forth; however I had to alter them while on my mission"
"And what did you find?"
"Before the age of ninja there was a time when man ruled most of the Earth. As we advanced in our knowledge we built machines that could do the work of hundreds of people in hours. Eventually the devices were a part of everyday life. But as our world changed with our knowledge another was built. This world was called the DigiWorld." The Hokage looked at Honō in confusion.
"The DigiWorld was originally a small program on a government run project, but it grew into so much more. It grew and grew until it created a new form of life." The Hokage held up his hand.
"Not that this is not an interesting story but what does this have to do with your mission?" Honō took a small object out of his pocket.
"Have you ever seen something like this before?" It looked like a red walkie-talkie with black detailing on it. "No"
"That device was created in the DigiWorld almost two thousand years ago." The Hokage looked shocked.
"As I was saying there was a new life form that was called a Digimon. This creature came in many forms and each had their own name. But as in the human world the Digimon started to fight. The Human Type Digimon, who looked and acted more like humans and the Beast Type Digimon fought for a long time till there came a Celestial Type Digimon named Lucemon who brought peace to the DigiWorld."
"And he was behind the disappearances?" Honō shook his head.
"No lord Hokage" The Hokage looked confused.
"Lucemon lost himself in the power that he got and started to torment the Digimon." the Hokage nodded his head.
"From the other Digimon arose ten legendary warriors. They fought against Lucemon and eventually sealed him away. But they knew that it would not be forever so they changed into Digital Spirits and gave them to three Celestial Type Digimon who were charged with taking care of the world. But again they fought and one of them lost himself in the darkness. Eventually six humans were called to the DigiWorld." The Hokage tilted his head sideways in confusion.
"These six were charged with finding the ten legendary warriors who had split into two spirits. A human spirit and a beast spirit. Through many battles and other trials they gathered the spirits, but shortly after Lucemon was freed. The children who had gathered the spirits wound up combining the spirits into one and they defeated Lucemon. The children returned to their world, their lives changed for the better. But one hundred years later someone had found a way to bring Digimon into the human world and started to experiment on them. What they created got out and brought an end to the reign of the human race but also the DigiWorld." The Hokage looked at Honō confused
"If it was destroyed..."
"Not destroyed. It merged with the Human world creating new types of creatures. We know them today as Summons." The Hokage nodded.
"After almost one thousand years the monster was released Humans had reconnected with nature and started using a type of energy they called chakra. A man who history will call the Rikudō Sennin learned how to trap the monster inside of himself. But like all men his time came and so came the creation of the Byjuu, or as we like to call them the Tainted Nine. Yet that is not all that was found by him. In his travels he found all the spirits of the ten legendary warriors and hid them till the ones who were meant for them found them. On my mission I found the Human Spirit of Fire hidden in an elemental seal. I was deemed worthy of it but the beast spirit said that another was meant to have it. So I traveled hoping to bring both to Konaha. In my travels I met the ten others and they like me had only been gifted with one spirit." The Hokage looked at Honō with a calculating look.
"When all ten of us had gathered the spirit told us to go to the land we each came from. There we would find the person meant for the other spirit." The Hokage looked him in the eye
"What else did they tell you?" Honō laughed. "Was I always that easy to read?"
"It's only because I watched you grow up Jin."
"Jin Uchiha, a name I have not used in a long time. Anyway they asked us to try and find the person in our homelands first, and if we can we are to try and purify the Digimon that now make up the Byjuu."
"And what are your plans for your old clan?"
"If what I have heard is true then I need to take over as clan head, don't I?"
"After we find your new student we can file the paper work for that."
"You just want to put it off as long as you can old man."
3. Chapter 3
(THE ACADAMY)
"Oiroke no Jutsu"
"NARUTO!" Iruka, Konaha academy sensei, Chunien and right now nose bleed propelled missile. Jin looked from the teacher on the floor to the Hokage
"Are all students taught that? Cause if so you really upped your standards. Though that form is a lack of taste."
"No that was just one of the students using the Transformation Jutsu to prank his teacher." Honō shook his head
"You might be right about the prank but you're wrong about the jutsu." Iruka looked at him confused.
"I can see through illusions and what he used was an actual full body transformation. Not the academy taught illusion." Both the Hokage and Iruka were surprised by the Jin's words. All of the students were looking at the two guests at the door.
"Forgive my disrespect Hokage-sama; is there something you needed from us?" The Hokage chuckled
"Actually Iruka this young man with me came to test your students for a special gift." The class's ears perk at that. The three adults stood at the front of the room.
"Well Jin-san", said the Hokage. "Please start your test." Jin nodded then pulled out a scroll.
"On this scroll there is a storage seal, inside of which there is a box. In that box is a device which will determine if one of you is the person I am seeking." After opening the scroll and releasing the box he took a key from his neck.
"Should you be that one you will gain many things; however there are several things that will change your life forever." Honō opened the box and a device that looked like the one he had shown the Hokage only it was orange instead of red floated out. It floated to about eye level then moved towards the students. It scanned the first row without stopping. Then half way through the second row it stopped. It rescanned two of the students one who was dressed all in blue and the other one was the already identified Naruto. After several minutes it stopped and then floated to Naruto. Everyone waited on baited breath as it landed in his hand. On the small square screen a symbol that looked like several broken circles forming layers with a dot in the center and a female voice said "It is time." Just as Naruto was enveloped in light Honō grabbed him and shushind to the outside training area.
Just as the others arrived to see what was happening the lights dissolved to show a red armored dragon warrior like creature with orange wings.
"What is your name?" asked Honō. The people watching looked at him in confusion, as Iruka had already identified him as Naruto.
"BurningGreymon" said the now named creature. Honō nodded then was enveloped in the same light only it dissipated faster. Where he had been standing was now what looked like a red armored samurai with spike blond hair.
"Hello BurningGreymon I am Agunimon" Suddenly the three horns on BurningGreymon's head started to glow then they formed a beam that shot to the ground. When the dust settled there was now a third creature. It bowed to the others before saying in a feminine voice
"I am Kyubimon" She was yellow and white with a red and white rope around her neck with the bow on the back of her neck and bells on the ends. On her forehead, shoulders and hips she had the yin yang symbol and her paws and the tips of her tails appeared to be ablaze with white fire.
Agunimon looked at Kyubimon and said "Are you able to take your base form?" She nodded.
"Now that I have been purified yes I can."
"Then we should all Change and explain what happened" with that all three were enveloped in light. When the light diapered Jin and Naruto stood where their changed form was and where Kyubimon was now stood Renamon, a yellow and white humanoid fox Digimon with purple arm warmers.
Several of the students looked scared others confused. Jin looked at the Hokage
"Lord Hokage my partner has been found, and it seems we dealt with one of the Tainted Nine" the Hokage nodded his head.
"I can see that. I must say I am surprised to find your report so accurate as to find a need to revise our history. Though I do have a question." Jin nodded.
"Now that he…"
"She Lord Hokage, Renamon is a female and as for what she will do now. Most likely she will look for a human partner and work with them."
"If I may." said Renamon, "While in the seal I saw several children that might make good partners for me, however one in particular stuck out to me."
"And who would that be Renamon-son?"
"I believe her name is Tenten…" The aged Hokage nodded "I will see what can be done…" As the Hokage was speaking, several civilians and shinobi walked into the academy training grounds.
"Look"
"The Fox"
"I told you it would get out!"
"We're all going to die!"
"Kill it before it can destroy the village." As the mob started yelling to kill Renamon a dark aura started to surround Jin.
"Lord Hokage do I have permission to retaliate if this crowed of cannon fodder were to go after Renamon"
"I would rather you did not but as they have broken my law you may do what you need to." Honō nodded his head before activating his Sharingan. The crowed instinctively flinched at the sight of the fames Uchiha eyes.
"Listen well you fools. I am Jin Uchiha, current head of the Uchiha clan. Should any of you try to attack my student, my clan or my friends I will see that each and every one of you wishes you had been allowed to visit Ibiki." Out of the crowed stepped several people in very flashy robes three of whom caught Jin's attention.
"Just who I was coming to see." he said with a smile before pulling out three scrolls.
"Koharu Utatane, by order of Lady Tsunade, Head of the Senju clan, I am to relieve you as proxy of the Senju clan with a thank you for your service these many years and a hope that you will still work with the clan to better Konaha." After which Jin hands the Konaha elder the scroll with the Senju crest on it. The elder bowed before asking
"Will Lady Tsunade be returning to us shortly?"
"Yes elder. She said she was going to help with an outbreak in Northern Fire country before she returned" The elder smiled, happy to finally be able to return to her retirement.
"If that is all I think I must talk with the lord Hokage about something." She and Jin bowed as she left to join the Third Hokage.
"Homura Mitokado, as the legal guardian and sensei of the Uzumaki clan heir I release you as proxy with thanks and hope that you like lady Utatane will continue to work with the clan to better Konaha." Homura bowed and accepted the scroll before saying
"I am sorry I could not help the heir more but…" Jin nodded.
"If my information is correct you will be called as a witness soon enough to make up for that." Jin said with a smile. Homura bowed again before joining his old team mates.
"Danzō Shimura, as the legal guardian and sensei to the heir of the Namikaze, I end your illegal hold on the position of proxy and charge you with attempted theft, attempted line theft, forgery of over 5,000 legal documents, child abuse, and Treason." The crowed that had gathered had become very silent as Jin said each charge against Danzō.
"Jin san, do you have evidence to hold those charges?" ask the Third Hokage. Jin nodded before he disappeared from sight. When he reappeared he had a sword to Danzō's throat and his sharingan active.
"This is my proof for all that is not related to the Namikaze clan." After he said that he pulled Danzō's bandages off revealing his stolen Sharingan. "He also has part of the First Hokage implanted into his body. The treason comes from this and working the Nuke-nin Orochimaru." The crowed began to murmur at this revelation.
"Danzō for these crimes alone I have no choice. By the power vested in me as Third Hokage I sentence you to immediate execution." The Third Hokage nodded to Jin who did several hand seals before placing one hand on Danzō's head and the other on his own.
"Kinjutsu: Jōhō Doren Jutsu" Danzō's eyes rolled into the back of his head. He had several seizers until finally his head exploded.
"Jin san did you have to use such a destructive method?" asked the aging Hokage as several civilians and students got sick from the display.
"No Lord Hokage. It looks like he had safeguards in place to insure that what he knew left with him at his death. Fortunately my Jutsu did not trip any of them while I was getting them, but only as I was leaving." As he finished speaking several Shinobi showed up.
"What has caused such an act of unyouthfulness to be done here?" Cried the one in green spandex. As the Hokage was about to speak a white light shot from Renamon and ended in the hands of a young girl whose hair was in buns, one on each side of her head. When the light cleared she had in one hand a deck of cards, in the other a device similar to the one Jin and Naruto had but with a slot to slide cards through.
"Well that takes care of that issue." said Jin. But he knew that this was only the start of many rough times to come.
4. Chapter 4
AN: Thanks to all who have taken the time to review. one thing i saw was someone brought up s2 of Digimon. This will be mostly s3 and s4. Also Sakura will have little time untill i get to a post skip area. This is just because i find her too bitchy at that time. With out further wait heres chapter 4.
Jin looked out on the lake where Naruto and Sasuke were trying to walk without dropping any of the leaves that were on their arms. Two weeks had passed since the day the fire beast spirit had chosen Naruto. In that time Jin had started the long process of getting Naruto to the right level in skill and fixing several issues with Sasuke. The last task proved more difficult until Jin had found a mind altering seal on the nape of his neck.
While Jin was in the midst of his ponderings something came flying at him from the tree line. Without even looking up he caught it and threw it at Naruto while throwing a kunai in the direction the other projectile had come from. As it hit Naruto it popped and he was covered in orange paint. The hit also caused him to lose concentration, which lead to Naruto falling into the lake.
"Damn it Sensei!" Naruto sputtered when he surfaced. "How the hell are we supposed to get better at this if you're always throwing things at us?"
"Naruto language." Jin reproached as he looked in the area the paint filled balloon had come from.
"Sensei Japanese." was his cheeky response as he got standing on the water again and gathered the leaves to place them back on his arms.
"I guess we'll have to add another hour to the etiquette lessons." Jin said with an evil smile on his face. (Think Yamato's 'persuasive' face, only smiling) Jin noticed his kunai had only hit a small rudimentary one missile launch device. "Besides you're supposed to dodge the projectiles to better your control and reflexes."
"Yes Sensei." said Naruto as he put the last leaf on his arm. After he had finished speaking another projectile went flying at Jin, however it was Sasuke who found himself as the target when it got redirected.
SPLASH
Sasuke resurfaced his hair now dyed a dark red.
"Don't think I didn't see that smirk on your face when Naruto got hit." Sasuke just glared at his cousin.
"Why can't I just turn into BurningGreymon and dodge in the air?" asked Naruto
"Because, relying on one thing too much makes you weak and leads to your death." Jin told Naruto. "That is what causes most of the clans and ninja of powerful nations to stagnate and die, while ninja like Lord Hokage are still alive. He got to where he is because he was willing to work hard and diversify his cache of skills **and** jutsu. That is also why he is called 'The Professor' and 'The God of Shinobi'." Naruto nodded at his Sensei's explanation. Ever since Jin had started teaching him Naruto had found thing that were normally boring, like history, to be easy to understand and more useful.
"Does that list of clans include ours cousin?" asked Sasuke.
Jin nodded, "Unfortunately our clan became prideful of our eyes and simply copied whatever jutsu we wanted. However, as I have told you, simply copying the jutsu does not give you instant mastery of it. Only through practice and hard work can one become a master at something."
As he finished speaking a third projectile came at him. Instead of sending it at Naruto or Sasuke this time he sent into a bush right behind him. From the bush came a thud and a feminine grunt.
"Nice work Tenten." he said to the girl who walked out of the bush. "You do need to work on your stealth however. Also remember that like the others you must also round your skills out as shinobi. You and others remember Lady Tsunade for her strength; however she is also gentle when she is healing. Right now your only part of the way to your goal."
He had finished again when a fourth projectile came flying fast and at an angle towards his head. Jin simple tilted his head and it went right past. The missile kept going into a tree branch where Renamon had been leaning against the trunk. The two collided causing Renamon to fall to the ground.
"I'd say that was a productive day, wouldn't you four?" Jin asked the two academe students, one gennin and one Digimon. All four were covered in different colors of paint, dirt, water and sweat, while Jin was still as clean as he was when he got dressed this morning.
A little later, after the four had gotten a little cleaner they were walking to get lunch when Jin stopped.
"You can come out now, Itsu." said Jin. Out of the shadows of an alley stepped a pale man with a bandana that covered a bald head. He wore all black. A sleeveless shirt and pants tied to his ankles with white training wraps.
"Guys this is Itsuwarinokage. He's another one of the ones who have been chosen by the spirits." Itsu bowed in greeting to the young ninja.
"Were you able to find your partner?" Jin asked. Itsu sighed and shook his head. Then he started moving his hands in several motions that confused the others in the group.
"Yeah, I found my partner and he helped Renamon to be purified." he replied placing his hand on Naruto's shoulder. Itsu made several more motions with his hands.
"We can talk with the Hokage about finding your partner here. I actually think I know the clan that they might come from." seeing the confused looks on the others he said, "Itsu is a mute. He has learned to use other forms of communication due do his lack of a voice, but he can still here just fine. In fact his hearing is better than most ninjas due to his lack of a voice." Itsu's pale cheeks pinked a little at Jin's complement on his hearing.
"So what spirit does he have?" asked Naruto
"The correct word is which, no what." Jin told him, resulting in an eye roll. "And Itsu holds the Beast spirit of shadow. Having a spirit also means that when he has spirit evolved he is able to speak. That's why he's such a chatter box in his beast form." That comment earned him a scowl from Itsu and several angry movements.
"You wouldn't." Jin said paling a little.
"What?" asked Tenten.
"He just threatened to tell on me to Shin." he said giving a slight shiver. Itsu grinned at Jin's fear.
"Whose Shin?" asked Sasuke.
"She's his girlfriend and the carrier of the Human spirit of the wind."
"What's so bad about her?" asked Naruto
"You know how you can pull a prank and the only ones who can catch you are me, Iruka, and the Hokage?" Naruto and the others nodded, with the other three shivering at the memories of some of his pranks.
"She can be standing perfectly still and not move a muscle and people still get pranked." Sasuke, Tenten and Renamon all paled while Naruto had stars in his eyes.
"No you may not ask her to teach you her methods." Jin said flatly. The others nodded vehemently.
"Where is she now?" asked Tenten. Jin
"Suna if things are going as planned."
With that the group continued their walk to get lunch.
5. Chapter 5
A/N: So sorry to all of you. I was hunting plot bunnies and this one got away from me so I had to hunt it down. Now in the time since I posted the last chapter there have been more following this story. Thank you all for that. I just ask that you review my work so that I can better myself as an author.
Poll: I am working on a Harry Potter/Legend of the Dragoon cross over and need help finding the right Water dragoon. Please submit your answer along with the reason you want that female to be the one in a review or a message. This will close on Sep. 1st. Thank you.
Current nominees:
Ginny
Tonks
Flaur
Gabriel D.
OC
Other HP Fem.
(Daphne and Luna are not part of this list due to them already having the Light [L] and Shadow [D] dragoon spirits.)
Disclaimer: If I owned either of these there would probably be a lot more plot wholes in the source material then there is now.
Naruto woke on the day of the final exam to find himself hanging in a cocoon of rope tied to the ceiling of the women's side of one of the bath houses in Konaha. Cursing his sensei and his strange training/torture methods. Just as he got free he heard voices and footsteps heading towards where he was. Gathering the rope and hiding were not a problem after all the time Jin had spent making sure he and Sasuke new how to hid their presents. The problem was controlling himself as the first customers of the day entered the hot springs.
_'Damn you Sensei' _he thought as he tried to not have a nose bleed.
Sasuke found himself in a similar situation, only he was hanging over the beds in the " Sasuke Uchiha Fan Club meeting house" AKA the Sasuke shrine. He too had no problem getting out of the rope cocoon and hiding most of his presents. However he did have a problem when a few awoke. He didn't know what woke them up but the second they opened their eyes and saw him he started running for his life and virginity. Unfortunately for Sasuke he had been seen. And as he ran the village was awoken by the screaming calls of mad fangirls chasing their obsession.
As the sun started to rise Jin was sitting in the kitchen, of the Uchiha main house, cooking a breakfast of stir-fried bacon and some eggs. Just as he sets the meals in three places on the table Naruto walks in and sits in his seat.
"You know Sensei one of these days you're the one who's going to find themselves hanging in a place that could cause you a lot of trouble." he said angrily as he starts attacking his breakfast. A few seconds later Sasuke slinked into the kitchen.
"Rough morning cousin?" asked Jin.
"You'll get your one day Jin. And when that happens I hope I have a camera with me." said Sasuke as he too attacked his breakfast. Jin just chuckled as he calmly ate his food.
"The day either of you can get the drop on me is the day I retire." Jin said as he calmly ate an apple, not touching any of the food that had been cooked. Half way through their meals Naruto and Sasuke noticed that Jin was not eating the food that was cooked.
"What did you do to the food?" they both asked in a deadpan voice.
"Today I did nothing to your breakfast. It is too important that you pass for me to interfere by doing something to you food." Jin's voice and body language told them that he was totally serious.
"If you didn't do something to the food, then why aren't you eating?" Naruto asked.
"The food would not have time to settle before I had to go to the council meeting." Jin said. It was the last two words that caused the two boys to shudder. Even though Donzo was dead the civilians had been trying everything they could to stop Jin from teaching Naruto and to have Renamon and Tenten executed. Of course they failed every time, but it still got irritating having to listen to their screaming and demanding. To make facts worse Jin was now the leader of the ROOT division of ANBE. Both boys had seen Jin after a long day of meetings and debriefings. Of course the two were usually glaring at him due to the training they had gone through under the eye of his Shadow Clone.
"So let us get this day started boys. Oh and remember…"
"Don't show off, and only do enough to pass the exam." Jin smiled as the two finished the phrase he had them learn by heart. After today he hoped to continue the lesson into their shinobi carriers.
**The Hokage Tower-Meeting Room**
The Hokage calmly walked into the crowded meeting room. The majority of the people in the room were wealthy merchants and other 'important' people in the village. Jin noticed the tired look in the Hokage seemed to have gotten worse in the last few days instead of better.
"Good morning everyone. Let's get started." The Hokage said causing everyone to focus on the front where he sat. "What is first today?"
"Lord Hokage," said a man who, while not being obscenely over weight, could obviously do with losing some weight. "The Civilians Council would like to put forth a motion to have certain elements that are deemed a threat to the people be dealt with."
After several more attempts by the civilians and a quick recess so that Tsume Inuzuka would not kill the civilians they finally reached some important business.
"I have spoken with Jin Uchiha, current head of the Uchiha clan, and he has requested to be temporarily be released from his position as head of ROOT so that he may take on a genin team. If there any objections please raise your hand." The entire Civilians Council raised their hands, hoping to stop Jin from teaching Sasuke anything that could cause him to be loyal to the Hokage over them. Idiots. "As there are no objections I must ask the Civilian Council to leave at this time, due to their tendency to interfere in things they have no right to be involved in." The last comment irritating several of the council members they grudgingly left.
After the civilians had left the Hokage turned to Jin and said, "Jin would you please name the three you would like on your team if they should pass.
"I, Jin Uchiha, Jonin of Konaha, request Hinata Hyūga, Shikamaru Nara, and Naruto Uzumaki for my genin team." After Jin had finished making his request several of the other shinobi indicated that they would like to speak.
"What reasons do you have for requesting these three as your students?" the Hokage asked hoping to cut off several objections.
"I believe all three of these children have a great potential that is being hindered, either by themselves or by other persons. I have studied all three and believe that I have the skills and resources necessary in order to bring out their full potential."
After several discussions it was decided that the team would be allowed to form should all three members of the team pass the exam and Jin's personal test. Jin left the meeting and started for home when he heard someone call his name. Turning he sees Kakashi leaning against the wall right next to him.
"Is there something I can help you with Kakashi?" Jin asked even though he felt he knew what it was he wanted.
"We need to talk about you training Naruto Uzumaki."
6. Chapter 6
A/N: I know this being posted faster then most people can get on so I wont say much. Please cast your vote for the water dragoon. And remember I need those reviews or this might night be any good. Thank you
Disclaimer: I do not own anything that can be recognized as part of a franchise
As Jin was busy dealing with meetings and votes and Kakashi, Naruto and Sasuke were taking their graduation exams. To Naruto it seemed easier than normal. Probably because the last time Mizuki had failed him on a test Jin had personally taken him to see Anko and Ibiki. Turns out he was using genjutsu to cause Naruto to fail and sabotaging his other class work as well. The month and a half after that Jin spent cramming the basics down Naruto's throat. So the tests seemed to fly by, one after another.
When Naruto finally got to the ninjutsu test he prayed and prayed that it would not be the clone jutsu. Not because he couldn't make a clone, but because his clones had to be solid. Jin had found out that his issue with performing genjutsu was that whatever he tried became over loaded with chakra. So he had to use solid clones. But Jin had been very specific about how much skill he could show.
"Naruto Uzumaki." Iruka called from the testing room.
Naruto entered the room, looking as calm as a small pond on a windless day.
"Alright Naruto, please make two clones to pass the ninjutsu exam."
At Iruka's words Naruto's calm expression changed to a conflicted one.
"Is something wrong?" the scared instructor asked.
"Iruka-sensei," Naruto started his debate obviously hitting a solution. "Are solid clones allowed?"
Iruka blinked at Naruto's question. "Um… I believe that they are admissible for special circumstances."
Naruto nodded than said. "As you know I held Renamon in a seal until Jin help remove whatever was corrupting her. This lead to me having higher than normal chakra reserves. As such I am requesting the allowance." Naruto hoped that he had worded it right. Just enough to get them to do as he needed, but not so much that they would question him more. Or worse give away too much information.
Iruka blinked several times before he started hitting his head on the table.
"Um Sensei?" Naruto asked concerned for the instructor's mental health.
"Sorry. I just realized that the only reason you did not pass the last two test was that I failed to account for the extra chakra in your system" Iruka said, his face pale at the thought that the last two years of Naruto's pranks could have been avoided.
Throwing one of the headbands to Naruto he said, "Go, please just go."
Naruto started out the door. He stopped for a moment and said "Hey Sensei. Want to grab ramen later. My treat."
Iruka looked at the blond and said "I'll see you there at five."
Without another word Naruto left, headband clutched tightly in hand.
**Later that night at Ichiraku**
"Congratulations." Four of the adults present said. Itsu, being a mute, simply gave them a thumbs up.
Jin had told them that once they had graduated they could have a small party, which they would pay back over time. They had invited Tenten and Renamon but they had plans for the night so they could not make it.
Before everyone started eating Jin pulled out a sake bottle and pored three drinks.
"Traditionally it would only be Sasuke and myself doing this, but because Naruto is living with us he will be joining us." Jin said causing several confused looks. "It is an Uchiha tradition that on the day one of our clan graduates he and his father or closest male relative spend the night drinking until they had emptied one sake bottle. The women do something in a building that is sealed so that men cannot get in."
Jin set the cups in front of the two boys and counted to three. As they drank the boys started having fits halfway through their first cup.
"Oh come on. This was the weakest the store had." Jin said seeing the reaction the two were having to the alcohol.
"So I had an interesting talk with Kakachi Hatake." Jin said to Iruka and Itsu after the two boys had passed out.
"Oh" said Iruka.
"Yes. Apparently he feels that he owes Naruto for something." Itsu gestured with a questioned look.
"He didn't say what for but he tried to get me to have Naruto put on his team." Itsu made several more gestures. First slowly then with great speed and enthusiasm.
"Yea. Maybe he is trying to connect with his teacher's son." Jin after taking the last swig of the bottle, grabbed the two boys. "Night gentlemen."
With that final fair well Jin walked out into the night.
End file.
| fanfiction |
consider the following conversation between two students : first student : ` suppose i am falling into a black hole . by the equivalence principle
, i will notice nothing special at the horizon .
hawking has argued that radiation from such a horizon has a thermal spectrum , which means that the radiation can carry no information and information will be lost when the black hole evaporates . '
second student : ` i know that this is called the information paradox , but i think there are many weaknesses in hawking s argument . the radiation he computes starts as transplankian modes , so it is wrong to treat those modes like free field modes , as hawking did . in any case
there is no information paradox in string theory because we know that black holes in ads at least are dual to a field theory , and the field theory is manifestly unitary . '
i will argue in these notes that each phrase in the above conversation is either incorrect or is irrelevant to the information problem .
some forty years after hawking became famous for finding this problem , one of the most paradoxical things is that the black hole information paradox is so well known and yet so poorly understood .
a principal goal of these lectures will therefore be to understand exactly what the paradox _
is_. we will see that there is a very precise statement of the contradiction found by hawking , and that bypassing the paradox needs a basic change in our understanding of how quantum effects operate in gravity .
we develop the ideas underlying the paradox in a number of steps , starting with very basic principles . it is essential to understand these principles ,
because even though we use them automatically in our everyday use of physics , it is these same principles which are being challenged by the information paradox .
general relativity has brought several complications to physics . in particular , space and time can ` stretch ' , and we are then forced to extend quantum theory to curved spacetime . in our solar system
we have space - time curvature , but we believe that we can do laboratory experiments without worrying about details of quantum gravity .
why is that ?
the vacuum of a free quantum field in flat space has fourier modes of all wavelengths going down to zero .
when quantum gravity is taken into account , what will be the behavior of modes with wavelengths shorter than planck length ?
we do not fully understand the answer to such questions , and if it were the case that the full physics of quantum gravity were needed for describing _ any _ process , then we would not be able to do much physics .
the reason that we do not worry about quantum gravity in everyday experiments is that we believe there is an appropriate limit where the effects of quantum gravity become small , and a local , well defined , approximate evolution equation becomes possible .
the existence of this limit is so crucial to physics , that i use a specific name for it in these notes : ` solar system physics ' .
the term signifies that we can do normal physics when spacetime curvatures are of the order found in our solar system .
* definition d1 : solar system limit : * we have not yet specified these niceness conditions n , but the fact that there must exist such a ` solar system limit ' underlies all of our physical thinking . hawking s theorem starts with a natural set of niceness conditions n , and proves that requiring locality with these conditions would lead to an ` unacceptable ' physical evolution . one must then either agree to this ` unacceptable evolution ' , or find a way to add new conditions to the set n , in such a way that these conditions still allow us to define a ` solar system limit ' incorporating some idea of locality . here
we make a list of ` niceness conditions ' that are traditionally assumed , whether explicitly or implicitly : ( n1 ) our quantum state is defined on a spacelike slice .
the intrinsic curvature @xmath0 of this slice should be much smaller than planck scale everywhere : @xmath1 .
( n2 ) the spacelike slice sits in an 4-dimensional spacetime .
let us require that the slice be nicely embedded in the full spacetime ; i.e. , the _ extrinsic _ curvature of the slice @xmath2 is small everywhere : @xmath3 .
( n3 ) the 4-curvature curvature of the full spacetime in the neighbourhood of the slice should be small everywhere @xmath4 ( n4 ) we should require that all matter on the slice be ` good ' .
thus any quanta on the slice should have wavelength much longer than planck length ( @xmath5 ) , and the energy density @xmath6 and momentum density @xmath7 should be small everywhere compared to planck density : @xmath8 .
let us add here that we will let all matter satisfy the usual energy conditions ( say , the dominant energy condition ) .
( n5 ) we will evolve the state on the initial slice to a later slice ; all slices encountered should be ` good ' as above .
further , the lapse and shift vectors needed to specify the evolution should change smoothly with position : @xmath9 note that not all these conditions may be independent , but we have tried to be as generous as possible in making sure that we are in a domain of semiclassical physics .
while we have tried to make sure that the spacetime is such that quantum gravity can be ignored , we have to do a little more : we have to be more precise about what physical process we are interested in looking at .
the reason is simple .
there is always _ some _ effect of quantum gravity , so if we insist on making a very precise measurement of something or look at some very abstruse physical effect , we might pick up effects of quantum gravity even in gently curved spacetime .
so we will now pick the physical process of interest . *
a set of nice slices : * start with the vacuum state on the lower slice in fig.[fone](a ) .
consider the evolution to the upper slice shown in the figure .
the later slice is evolved forward in the right hand region , less so in the left hand region .
this is of course allowed : in general relativity we have ` many - fingered time ' in the language of wheeler , so we can evolve in any way that we like .
the slices satisfy all the ` niceness ' conditions n. * 2 .
pair creation : * the evolution of the geometry will lead to particle creation in the region where the geometry of the slice is being deformed ; this happens because the vacuum state on one slice will not in general be the natural vacuum on a later slice .
let the geometry in the deformation region be characterized by the length and time scale @xmath10 .
then the particle pairs created have wavelengths @xmath11 and the number of such created pairs is @xmath12 .
for concreteness we will take @xmath13 which is the curvature length scale at the horizon of a solar mass black hole .
the particle pair is depicted by @xmath14 in figure fig.[fone](b ) .
the state of the created pairs is of the form |_pair = ce^ ^^|0_c|0_b [ actualstate ] where @xmath15 is a number of order unity .
the detailed form of this state can be found in @xcite .
but the essence of this entanglement can be obtained by assuming the following simple form for the state |_pair=_c_b+_c_b [ pairs ] where in fig.[fone](b ) the quantum of the right is called @xmath16 and the quantum on the left is called @xmath17 . *
3 . matter on the slice : * there is some matter in a state @xmath18 on the spacelike slice , but the crucial point is that this matter is very far away , a distance @xmath19 from the place where the pair creation is taking place . for concreteness , we will take @xmath20 ( fig.[fone](c ) ) .
( this is the length scale that we will encounter in the hawking evaporation problem of the solar mass hole . ) * 4 .
locality : * if we now assume ` locality ' on the spacelike slices then the complete state on the spacelike slice would be ||_m ( _ c_b+_c_b ) [ qtwo ] even though the matter @xmath18 is far away from the place where the pairs are being created , there will always be _ some _ effect of @xmath18 on the state of the create pairs .
this is why we have written an @xmath21 sign in ( [ qtwo ] ) .
but it is crucial to hawking s argument that we make this more precise .
let the state of matter @xmath18 consist of a single spin which can be up or down .
let us take @xmath22
. then if there was no effect of the matter state @xmath18 on the state of the pairs , the state on the slice would be |(|_m+|_m ) ( _ c_b+_c_b ) [ qtwop ] it is crucial to understand that locality allows small departures from the state ( [ qtwop ] ) , for example |= ( |_m+|_m ) , 1 [ qthree ] but not a completely different state like |=(_m_c+_m_c)(_b+_b ) [ qfour ] * 5 .
quantifying locality : * let us now quantify the sense in which ( [ qthree ] ) is close to ( [ qtwop ] ) but ( [ qfour ] ) is not . for the state ( [ qtwop ] ) write the density matrix describing the quantum @xmath16 , while tracing over the degrees of freedom in @xmath23 and @xmath17 .
note that @xmath16 is entangled with @xmath17 , but not with @xmath23 .
one finds the entanglement entropy s_ent =- tr [ ] = 2 doing the same computation for the state ( [ qthree ] ) gives s_ent =- tr [ ] = 2-^2(6 - 22)2 but with the state ( [ qfour ] ) we get s_ent=0 now we can make a precise statement about the consequence of assuming locality .
consider the limit 1 , ll_p1 , ll1 [ limit1 ] the first two inequalities say that all length scales are much longer than planck length , and the last says that the matter @xmath23 is ` far away ' from the place where the pairs are being created .
note that both the length and time scales involved in the pair creation process are @xmath24 .
the above limits are amply satisfied by the scales we took in fig.[fone ] .
now we can express the notion of locality in the following way ( [ limit1 ] ) _ we will get _ -11
the above discussion was very general , but let us now apply it to the black hole with metric ds^2=-(1 - 2mr ) dt^2+(1 - 2mr)^-1 dr^2 + r^2 d_2 ^ 2 [ ten ] this metric has a horizon at @xmath25 .
the curvature in the vicinity of the horizon is low : @xmath26 .
we will call this the ` traditional black hole geometry ' . the essential feature of the traditional geometry that will be of relevance to us is the fact that there is no ` information ' about the hole in the vicinity of the horizon .
we call this an ` information - free horizon ' and make this precise with the following definition : * definition d2 : * _ a black hole with an infomation - free horizon will be called a ` traditional black hole ' .
_ note that in any curved space there is no unique definition of particles , but if the curvature radius is @xmath27 then for wavemodes with wavelength @xmath28 we _ can _ get a definition of particles in which we can say what ` empty space ' is .
that is , one definition of particle will disagree with another but only in that the two definitions will differ by @xmath29 quanta with @xmath30 . at the black hole horizon
we have the same situation , and one might expect to see order unity quanta with @xmath31 in any natural definition of particles ; hawking radiation quanta that are being created will also fall in this category .
thus ` empty ' in the above definition means that we do not have for instance modes with @xmath32 populated by @xmath29 quanta each .
finally , note that the metric ( [ ten ] ) gives a time - independent black hole geometry .
hawking radiation makes the black hole slowly evaporate , but since the evaporation process is slow , we can describe the traditional black hole by a metric like ( [ ten ] ) at any given point of the evaporation process except near the very end when the black hole becomes planck sized .
the traditional black hole has a spacelike singularity inside the horizon .
if this singularity intersects the spacelike slices of our evolution , then the niceness conditions n would not hold everywhere on the slice , and one would not be able to make hawking s argument . thus it is crucial that we can make a set of spacelike slices that describe a spacetime region @xmath33 , satisfy all the niceness conditions n , and yet capture all the physics of hawking radiation .
we now describe this very important construction of slices .
we make a spacelike slice for the black hole ( [ ten ] ) as follows ( fig.[ftwo ] ) : \(a ) for @xmath34 we let the slice be @xmath35 \(b ) inside @xmath36 the spacelike slices are @xmath37 rather than @xmath38 .
we let the slice be @xmath39 , so that this part of the slice is not near the horizon @xmath25 and not near the singularity @xmath40 .
\(c ) we join these parts of the slice with a smooth ` connector ' segment @xmath41 .
it is easy to check that such a connector can be made so that the slice satisfies all the niceness conditions n which we gave above .
\(d ) the geometry ( [ ten ] ) gives the time independent black hole , but we will be interested in black holes made by starting with flat space and having a shell of mass @xmath23 collapse towards the origin @xmath40 .
the penrose diagram for this hole is shown in fig.[fthree ] .
with such a hole made by collapse we can follow the @xmath42 part of the slice down to early times before the hole was formed , and then smoothly extend it to @xmath40 ( there is no singularity at @xmath40 at these early times ) . outside the horizon and @xmath43 inside .
infalling matter is very far from the place where pairs are created ( @xmath44 light years ) when we measure distances along the slice .
curvature length scale is @xmath45 all over the region of evolution covered by the slices @xmath46 . ]
this makes one complete spacelike slice , which we call as @xmath47 in fig.[ftwo ] .
let us now make a ` later ' spacelike slice @xmath48 .
\(a ) at @xmath34 we take @xmath49 .
\(b ) the @xmath43 part will be @xmath50 where @xmath51 .
note that the timelike direction for this part of the geometry is in the decreasing @xmath52 direction , so this change @xmath53 is indeed correct for evolution of this part of the slice .
we let @xmath53 be small , and will later take the limit where @xmath54 for convenience .
\(c ) we again join the parts ( a),(b ) by a smooth ` connector ' segment . in the limit
@xmath54 we can take the geometry of the connector segment @xmath41 to be the same for all slices .
note the very important fact ( which can be seen from fig.[ftwo ] ) that the @xmath43 part of the later slice @xmath55 is _ longer _ than the @xmath43 part of @xmath47 .
this extra part of the slice is needed because the connector segment has to join the @xmath43 part to the @xmath56 part , and the @xmath56 part has been evolved forwards on the later slice .
\(d ) at early times we again bring the @xmath43 part smoothly down to @xmath40 , at a place where there is no singularity .
let us now see the nature of the evolution from slice @xmath47 to slice @xmath55 .
let us choose lapse and shift vectors on the spacetime as follows .
we take the slice @xmath47 and pick a point @xmath57 on it .
now move along the timelike normal till we reach a point on @xmath48 .
let this point on @xmath48 have the same spatial coordinates @xmath57 .
thus we have set the shift vector to be @xmath58 . with this choice
we can describe the evolution as follows : \(a ) in the @xmath38 part of the slice we have no change in intrinsic geometry .
this part of the slice just advances forward in time with a lapse function @xmath59 .
\(b ) let us work in the limit @xmath54 .
the @xmath43 part of @xmath47 moves over to @xmath55 with no change in intrinsic geometry .
the early time part which joins this segment to @xmath40 also remains unchanged .
\(c ) the connector segment @xmath41 of @xmath47 has to ` stretch ' during this evolution , since the corresponding points on @xmath48 will have to cover both the connector @xmath41 of @xmath48 and the extra part of the @xmath43 segment possessed by @xmath48 .
thus we see that the ` stretching ' happens only in the region near the connector segment .
this region has space and time dimensions of order @xmath23 , which is @xmath60 for the solar mass black hole that we have taken as our example .
now consider a succession of slices @xmath61 of this type , evolving from @xmath61 to @xmath62 in exactly the same way that we evolved from @xmath47 to @xmath48 .
each evolution from @xmath61 to @xmath62 can be described as follows : _ divide @xmath61 into a left part , a right part , and a middle part ( which is the connector region ) . in the evolution to @xmath62 , the left and right parts stay unchanged but are pushed apart , and the middle part is stretched to a longer length .
the length of the middle part is @xmath63 , the proper time between the slices in this middle region is @xmath63 , and the stretching is by a factor @xmath64 , with @xmath65 .
_ one can now check the following important fact : * nice slicing of the traditional hole : * in fact these slices look just like the ones shown in fig.[fone ] .
the curvature is low in all the regions covered by the evolution .
note that while the metric ( [ ten ] ) looks time independent , this is only an illusion because the schwarzschild coordinates break down at the horizon ; any slicing that covers both the outside and the inside of the hole will necessarily be time dependent .
this time - dependence is the underlying reason for particle creation in the black hole geometry .
the slicing of the black hole geometry is very interesting .
all the ` stretching ' between successive slices happens in a given place , so that the fourier modes of fields at this location keep getting stretched to larger wavelengths , and particles will keep being produced ( until the hole becomes very small ) .
we can not have such a set of slices in ordinary minkowski space .
if we try to make slices like those in fig.[ftwo ] in minkowski space , then after some point in the evolution the later slices will not be spacelike everywhere : the ` stretching ' part will become null and then timelike .
but it is the basic feature of the black hole that the space and time directions interchange roles inside the horizon , and we get spacelike slices having a stretching like that of fig.[ftwo ] throughout the region of interest .
looking at such a slicing one might wonder if there should be a problem with stretching a given region of spacetime ` too much ' .
if we could make such a notion concrete , then we could add a new condition to the niceness conditions n , prohibiting ` too much stretching ' .
then the slicing used in the derivation of hawking s theorem would cease to satisfy the niceness conditions , and the information paradox would be bypassed .
but if we add such a condition , then we will have to face its consequences .
our universe starts with a small marble sized ball , and its spatial sections stretch without bound .
if we propose that ` too much stretching ' destroys the ` solar system limit ' , then we have to consider that that this limit will be violated at some point in cosmological evolution .
( in @xcite such a condition was proposed , and its consequence for cosmological evolution was explored in @xcite . ) thus we see that it is not easy to add new conditions to the set
n without suffering serious modifications to physics in other situations .
a second possibility is to argue that while the slicing of the spacetime region itself satisfies the niceness conditions n , there is a singularity in the future of the region covered by the slices , and this could affect the evolution on the slices and generate nonlocal effects .
again , if one wishes to make this argument , one has to make a precise statement of when the niceness conditions will be violated by a singularity in the future .
suppose one does manage to add such a condition to the niceness set n. then what will happen if our universe approaches a big crunch ? there is a singularity in the future , so will we get nonlocal effects all across our spacelike slices ?
also , by time reversal symmetry , if we had a singularity in the past then should it not have similar effects ?
in that case , just after the big bang we should get nonlocal effects across the spacelike slices of our universe , something that we do not build into our normal understanding of cosmology .
so we see again that it is not easy to add new conditions to the set n. in the discussion below we will just take the standard set of niceness conditions given in section [ n ] in exploring the information paradox .
the evolution of slices in the black hole geometry will lead to the creation of particle pairs .
the members of these pairs that float out to infinity are called hawking radiation . in this section
we look at the nature of the wavefunction of these created pairs .
the pairs will form a state which is _ entangled _ in a very specific way , and this fact will form the heart of hawking s theorem .
it is crucial that the state of these pairs is a state unlike any that is created when a normal hot body radiates photons .
we will see that the essential difference arises from the fact that in the black hole case the particle pairs are the result of ` stretching ' of a region of the spacelike slice ; thus these pairs are ` pulled out of the vacuum ' . in normal hot bodies
the radiation is emitted from the constituents making up the hot body .
this is the essential difference between a hot body and the black hole , so we will be returning to this issue repeatedly . in this section we will see the state of the created pairs ` to leading order ' . if this were the actual state of the pairs , it is easy to see that we can not escape hawking s conclusion .
but of course there will always be small corrections to any leading order computation .
a common misconception is that these small corrections can remove hawking s problem and make the black hole radiation no different from radiation from a hot body .
_ this is absolutely incorrect_. thus in proving hawking s theorem we will explore the space of small corrections to the leading order state and show that _ unless we make an order unity modification to the leading order result , hawking s problem will persist_. well , why not assume then that there are order unity corrections to the lading order state ?
the crucial point of hawking s theorem is that in that case _ there will be breakdown of the solar system limit even if we are given the niceness conditions n_. this then is the outline of the hawking result
. it would clearly be very difficult to write down all sources of small corrections to the leading order result .
the proof of the theorem does away with the necessity of analyzing these corrections , by simply mapping the evolution to one in a domain of ` solar system physics ' , so that any effect that generates corrections large enough to make the hole radiate like a normal body will be forced to lead to a violation of the solar system limit . clearly , we need to get a good understanding of evolution in the black hole spacetime . to make the essence of the proof clearer , we start in this section with the leading order hawking state ,
analyze its essential properties , and postpose the investigation of corrections to the next section .
are not created by interaction with either the matter @xmath18 ( represented by the black square ) or with the earlier created pairs .
rather the creation is by a schwinger process which moves @xmath18 further away from the place of pair creation , and also moves the earlier created @xmath14 quanta away from the place of pair creation .
the new pairs are created in a state which to leading order is entangled between the new @xmath66 quanta but not entangled with anything else .
small corrections to this leading order state does not change this entanglement significantly , so the entanglement keeps growing all through the radiation process , unlike the case of radiation from normal hot bodies . ]
\(1 ) consider an initial spacelike slice .
the shell that collapses to make the hole is represented by a matter state @xmath18 .
\(2 ) let us evolve to the next spacelike slice .
the ` middle part ' of the spacelike slice stretches , while the left and right parts remain unchanged .
this is shown in fig.[ffour ] .
the stretching creates correlated pairs ( labelled @xmath67 ) and the state on the complete slice is like ( [ qtwo ] ) ||_m ( _ c_1_b_1+_c_1_b_1 ) [ qtwoq ] if we compute the entanglement of @xmath68 with @xmath69 we obtain s_entanglement=2 \(3 ) now consider the next slice of spacetime in fig.[ffour ] .
the following happens during this step of the evolution : \(i ) the matter state @xmath18 stays almost the same because there is no evolution in this part of the slice ( ii ) the change in the geometry happens only in the region where the ` connector ' part joins the @xmath43 part ; in this region there is a ` stretching ' of the spacelike slice .
there are two consequences of this stretching .
the first is that the pairs @xmath67 created earlier move away from each other and from the region of stretching .
the second is that the stretching creates a new set of pairs @xmath70 in the region of stretching .
again , the full state of the quantum field can be found in @xcite , but for our present purposes we can write the state at the end of this step as the entanglement of the set @xmath71 with @xmath72 .
we get s_entanglement=22 [ ent2 ] \(4 ) after @xmath73 such steps we will have the state ||_m & & ( _ c_1_b_1+_c_1_b_1 ) & & ( _ c_2_b_2+_c_2_b_2 ) & & & & ( _ c_n_b_n+_c_n_b_n ) [ qtwoq3 ] the space @xmath74 is entangled with the remainder @xmath75 with s_entanglement = n2 [ ent ] \(5 ) as the quanta @xmath74 collect at infinity , the mass of the hole decreases
. the slicing does not satisfy the niceness conditions n after the point when @xmath76 because @xmath77 is no longer true .
we will therefore stop evolving our spacelike slices when this point is reached .
the emitted radiation quanta @xmath78 have an entanglement ( [ ent ] ) with @xmath75 .
we define : * definition d3 : * _ we will say that our gravity theory contains _ remnants _ if there exists a set of objects with mass and size less than given bounds m < m_remnant , l < l_remnant but allowing an arbitrarily high entanglement with systems far away from the object .
_ it is easy to see that an object can be entangled with @xmath79 with another system only if the number of possible states of the object is @xmath80 .
thus remnants have unbounded degeneracy while having energy and size within given bounds .
this is _ not _ the expected behavior of quantum systems in normal physics .
it has been argued that existence of remnants gives rise to loop divergences from the infinite number of possible objects circulating in the loop .
we now see that our slicing of the traditional black hole geometry has forced us to the choose between the following possibilities : * ( 1 ) mixed states*:the black hole evaporates away completely .
the quanta @xmath74 have entanglement entropy @xmath81 .
but since there is nothing left that they are entangled with , the final state is not described by any quantum wavefunction .
the final state can only be described by a density matrix . * ( 2 ) remnants*the evolution stops when @xmath82 . given the entanglement ( [ ent ] ) , we find the theory contains remnants .
possibility ( 1 ) leads to a loss of unitarity of quantum mechanics , since a pure initial state evolved to a mixed final state .
possibility ( 2 ) is not a violation of quantum mechanics as such , but still differs from expected physics , since normally we expect only a finite number of states if both the energy and spatial extent are bounded .
the hawking argument can not say which of possibilities ( 1 ) and ( 2 ) will occur since the niceness conditions @xmath73 are violated near the endpoint of evolution .
thus we will lump both these possibilities into one which we call ` mixed states / remnants ' . as mentioned at the start of this section ,
the above discussion is not really the full hawking theorem yet because we have not considered possible small corrections that will in general exist to the state ( [ qtwoq3 ] ) .
thus what we have seen so far is a first outline of the hawking argument . to recapitulate this outline
, what we have seen is that at each stage of the evolution the entanglement entropy of the @xmath83 in this leading order state _ increases _ by @xmath84 .
the evolution is very unique to the black hole because the radiation is created by the stretching of the ` middle part ' of each spacelike slice .
it is the peculiar nature of the black hole geometry which creates such persistent stretching of spacelike slices .
when normal hot bodies radiate , the radiation quanta are _ not _ created by stretching of spacelike slices .
thus for normal hot bodies the radiation quanta depend on the nature of the atomic state at the surface of the body .
by contrast , in black hole evolution we see that the matter making the hole ( @xmath18 in the above discussion ) stays far away from the place where the hawking pairs are being created .
in fact with each successive stage of stretching , this matter is moved further _
away _ from the place where the next pair would be produced . how far away is this matter for the creation of the typical hawking pair for a solar mass black hole ?
after each stage of stretching , the matter moves a distance of order @xmath85 away from the place where the pairs are being created .
the number of radiation quanta is @xmath86 .
thus after about half the evolution , the distance of the matter ( measured along the spacelike slice ) from the place where the pairs are being created is of order l~m ( mm_p)^2~10 ^ 77 light years this shows the sharp contrast between the case of normal hot bodies and the case of the black hole . for normal hot bodies ,
the distance @xmath10 between the matter in the body and the place where the radiation is created would be _ zero _ since the radiation leaves from the atoms in the body .
one might think that even though the matter @xmath18 is very far away from where the pairs are being created , the pairs which have been created recently are close to the new pair being created , and this may help to generate correlations .
again , one finds that this does not happen . for one thing
, the earlier created @xmath66 quanta also move away from the pair creation region at each step .
thus the typical @xmath16 or @xmath17 quantum is also a distance of order @xmath87 light years from the place where the new pairs are being created .
of course the pairs that have been _ recently _ created are at a distance @xmath45 from the newly created pair . but the nature of the pair creation process is such that this nearness does not help .
the new pair is created by the stretching of a _ new _ fourier mode , and the earlier created pair is simply pushed away in this process .
to see this fact more explicitly , one has to write down the actual wavemodes and the wavefunctional describing their overall state .
the reader who wishes to get a full understanding of this point should take the full wavefunctional given in @xcite and use it to understand why the simplified state ( [ qtwoq3 ] ) gives the same essential physics of correlations as the full wavefunctional .
we saw above the essence of the hawking argument : repeated stretching at the horizon leads to repeated creation of pairs in a particular entangled state ( [ qtwoq3 ] ) .
this forces us to mixed states / remnants .
there will of course be small corrections to the leading order state ( [ qtwoq3 ] ) .
these can come from small interactions between earlier created pairs and the newly created pair .
the matter shell which made the hole @xmath18 is very far away on the spacelike slice , but the entire black hole is a gravitational solution with radius @xmath23 , and there can be instanton effects that lead to small effects of @xmath18 on the pair being created
. such instanton effects would be exponential small _ instanton~e^-s_instanton , s_instantongm^2 where we have used the action of the standard instanton found in black hole physics : the euclidean solution ds^2=(1 - 2mr ) d^2+(1 - 2mr)^-1 dr^2 + r^2 d_2 ^ 2 [ tenq ] with identification @xmath88 .
it is logical to ask if such small corrections can perhaps invalidate hawking s argument , and remove all entanglement between the quanta @xmath83 and the @xmath89 quanta in the hole .
if this happens , there would be no paradox , since the hole containing @xmath90 can vanish , and we will be left with a pure state of the @xmath83 quanta , presumably carrying all the information of the initial matter @xmath18 . it is a very important fact that such small corrections do _ not _ change the conclusion reached in the hawking argument .
we will call this fact the ` stability of entanglement of the hawking state ' . in this section
we will first define the meaning of small corrections , then prove a set of three lemmas that will lead to the proof of the stability theorem . in the next section
we will use this theorem to state and prove hawking s theorem on mixed states / remnants .
let the state of the modes in the box at time step @xmath91 be written as @xmath92 . here
@xmath93 denotes the state of the matter shell that fell in to make the black hole , and also all the @xmath17 quanta that have been created at earlier steps in the evolution .
@xmath94 denotes the set of all @xmath16 quanta that have been created in all earlier steps .
this state is entangled between the @xmath90 and @xmath95 parts ; it is not a product state .
we assume nothing about its detailed structure . in the leading order evolution
we would have at time step @xmath96 : |_m , c , _
b(t_n)|_m , c , _
b(t_n ) [ leading ] where the term in box brackets denotes the state of the newly created pair . in this section
we will write down the most general deformation of this leading order state , and analyze the entanglement entropy that results .
thus in a sense the computations here are at the heart of the hawking theorem , since they will prove that it is not possible to avoid mixed states / remnants by the small corrections which will always be present to a leading order result like ( [ leading ] ) .
\(1 ) we have seen that the stretching of spacetime creates a new region on the spacelike slice , and moves the regions to the left and right of this region apart , without distortion .
the full state of the created pairs is given in @xcite , but we will continue to use our simplified model of this state : we allow only occupation number of a mode to only be @xmath97 or @xmath98 , and we discretize the evolution into steps where pairs get created in one mode at each step .
these simplifications allow a presentation that is possible to follow easily .
( if the reader is worried that some generality has been lost then he should start with the full state in @xcite and repeat the steps below . )
we assume that state in the newly created region is spanned by 2 vectors , for which we can take the basis s^(1)&=&|0_c_n+1|0_b_n+1+|1_c_n+1|1_b_n+1s^(2)&=&|0_c_n+1|0_b_n+1-|1_c_n+1|1_b_n+1 & & [ set ] we could have included other vectors to enlarge this space , but the nature of the argument that follows would not change , so we leave it to the reader to change the equations below to reflect a larger choice of possibilities if he wishes .
\(2 ) the state at time @xmath91 is @xmath99 .
this has entanglement between the the @xmath83 and the state inside the hole , which is composed of the matter making the shell ( @xmath23 ) and the infalling members of pairs @xmath100 that have been created till now .
we can choose a basis of orthonormal states @xmath101 for the @xmath90 quanta inside the hole , and an orthonormal basis @xmath102 for the quanta @xmath83 outside the hole , such that |_m , c , _
b(t_n)=_m , n c_mn _ m_n it is convenient to make unitary transformations on the @xmath103 so that we get |_m , c , _
b(t_n)=_i c_i _ i_i [ stateone ] we compute the reduced density matrix describing the @xmath83 quanta outside the hole _
ij=|c_i|^2 _ ij the entanglement at time @xmath91 is then s_ent(t_n)=-_i |c_i|^2 |c_i|^2 [ entone ] \(3 ) we now consider the evolution to the next timestep @xmath96 .
the only constraint we put on the evolution is that the @xmath83 which have been created in all earlier steps be not affected by this step of the evolution .
this is because these @xmath83 quanta have left the vicinity of the hole , and can be collected outside ; in any case they can no longer be influenced by the hole without invoking some magical ` action at a distance ' that would violate any locality condition that we assume . we can write these quanta @xmath83 in terms of creation operators for outgoing modes , and in this basis the state does not evolve further ( the quanta keep moving out to larger @xmath52 , but this is along a line of fixed @xmath104 )
( if the reader wishes to argue that the most recent @xmath83 quanta are still not far enough from the hole and can be influenced , he should try to build the argument in detail using a larger space than ( [ set ] ) which includes several pairs instead of just one . )
thus the most general evolution to timestep @xmath96 is given by _
i_i^(1)s^(1)+_i^(2)s^(2 ) where the state @xmath105 of the @xmath89 evolves to a tensor product of states @xmath106 describing @xmath107 and the @xmath108 which described the newly created pair .
note that unitarity of evolution gives || _ i^(1)||^2+|| _ i^(2)||^2=1 in the leading order evolution we had _
i^(1)=_i , _ i^(2)=0 and we will use this fact below to define what we mean by ` small ' corrections and ` order unity ' corrections . putting all this together , the state ( [ stateone ] ) evolves at @xmath96 to |_m , c , _
b(t_n+1)=_i c_i [ _ i^(1)s^(1)+_i^(2)s^(2 ) ] _ i [ statetwo ] \(4 ) we wish to compute the entanglement entropy in the state ( [ statetwo ] ) , between the @xmath16 quanta that are outside the hole and the @xmath90 quanta that are inside the hole .
the @xmath16 quanta outside include the @xmath83 from all steps upto @xmath109 as well as the quantum @xmath110 created in this last step of evolution .
we now wish compute @xmath111 in terms of @xmath112 given by ( [ entone ] ) and the states @xmath113 in ( [ statetwo ] ) .
we now define explicitly what we mean by a ` small ' change in the evolution of a new pair .
write the state ( [ statetwo ] ) as |_m , c , _ b(t_n+1)=s^(1)+ s^(2)s^(1 ) ^(1)+ s^(2 ) ^(2 ) [ state ] here we have defined the states ^(1)= _ i c_i _ i^(1 ) _ i , ^(2)= _ i c_i _ i^(2 ) _ i since @xmath114 are orthonormal , normalization of @xmath115 implies that * definition d2 : * we will call corrections small if || ^(2)|| < , 1 [ cond1 ] if there is no such bound , then we will say that the corrections are ` order unity ' .
the physical significance of this definition is simple to understand .
when put the in the context of the black hole problem , we have seen that the creation of the new pair occurs in a spacetime satisfying the niceness conditions n. we will see in the proof of the hawking theorem below that if the traditional black hole structure is assumed at the horizon , then the effect of quanta already present on the spacelike slice is supposed to be small under these conditions n. this means that we can reliably find the state @xmath116 when the pair is created , and the probability to find the orthogonal state @xmath117 has to be much less than unity
. thus we get ( [ cond1 ] ) as the definition of small corrections .
note that this condition still allows that for special states @xmath105 of the hole we can have a large amplitude for @xmath117 ; this is still consistent with the requirement of small corrections if @xmath118 be sufficiently small .
thus ( [ cond1 ] ) says that corrections are small if for probable states of the hole we have close to unity probability for generating the new pair in the state @xmath116 .
the entropy at step @xmath91 of the evolution is given by ( [ entone ] ) .
let us call this value @xmath119 .
our goal is to show that at step @xmath96 the entropy of entanglement of the @xmath16 quanta with the quanta in the hole @xmath120 _ increases _ if we satisfy the requirement of ` small corrections ' defined above .
it may seem obvious that if corrections are small then the increase in entropy will be close to the value @xmath84 that we find in the leading order evolution .
the reason that this may not be completely clear though is that there is a very large number of @xmath17 quanta that the newly created pair @xmath121 can entangle with , and one might think that a very delicate entanglement with this large number of quanta may allow the overall entanglement entropy to go down while still allowing the state of @xmath121 to be close to the one demanded by the niceness conditions . here
we will prove three lemmas leading to the following theorem : if we are given the bound ( [ cond1 ] ) , then at each stage of the evolution the entanglement entropy will increase by at least @xmath122 . as can be imagined , this theorem will then be crucial to establishing the hawking argument that the niceness conditions n force mixed states / remnants .
let us recall some standard notation .
suppose we have a system with subsystems @xmath123 .
( we assume that the overall system is in a pure state , though this is not needed for the inequalities below . )
then @xmath124 where @xmath125 is the density matrix describing subsystem @xmath126 .
@xmath127 thus gives the entropy of entanglement of subsystem @xmath126 with the rest of the system .
similarly @xmath128 is the density matrix of the union of subsystems @xmath126 and @xmath129 ; it gives the entanglement of @xmath130 with @xmath131 .
our black hole system has the following subsystems : \(i ) the radiation quanta @xmath132 emitted in all steps upto and including step @xmath91 .
we call this set @xmath133 .
as noted above , we always assume that quanta emitted at earlier steps do not participate in the dynamics of pair creation at the next timestep .
( ii ) the black hole interior contains at timestep @xmath91 the shell state @xmath18 and the quanta @xmath134 .
we lump these together into the symbol @xmath135 .
the pair created at timestep @xmath96 can interact weakly with @xmath136 creating entanglements which were not present in the leading order hawking state ; these are the effects that we are trying to consider now .
( iii ) the pair @xmath137 that will be created at the timestep @xmath96 .
we write this as @xmath138 .
now consider the entropies of these subsystems .
let the entropy ( [ entone ] ) be called @xmath119 . thus at time step @xmath91 we have @xmath139 .
our assumption that the earlier emitted quanta @xmath133 can not be influenced any further implies that even at the timestep @xmath96 we continue to have s_\ { b}=s_0 [ s0 ] our final goal will be to show that @xmath140 , so that we establish that despite small corrections , the entanglement entropy _
increases _ _ _ at the timestep @xmath96 .
first we prove * lemma l1:*if ( [ cond1 ] ) holds , then the entanglement of the pair @xmath121 with the rest of the system is bounded as s(c_n+1 , b_n+1)-tr _ ( c_n+1 , b_n+1)_(c_n+1 , b_n+1 ) < the density matrix for the system @xmath121 is _ ( c_n+1 , b_n+1)= [ density ] from ( [ cond1 ] ) we are given that ||
^(2)||^2=^(2)|^(2)_1 ^ 2<^2 [ ineq ] then by the schwartz inequality make a unitary transformation to bring it to the form = i + || _ 3 the entropy of this density matrix is then seen to be s =- tr=2 -(1 + 2|| ) ( 1 + 2 ( [ ineq ] ) , we find s(c_n+1 , b_n+1)=(_1 ^ 2-_2 ^ 2)+o(^3)<[lemma1 ] for @xmath141 .
@xmath142 we write the result of the above lemma as s_p<[sp ] where @xmath143 denotes the pair created at timestep @xmath96 .
this result shows that the entire pair @xmath137 is weakly entangled with the remainder of the system .
next we prove * lemma l2 : * s(\{b}+p)s_0-[lemma2 ] _ proof:_we use the subadditivity property relating the entropy of two systems @xmath144 s(a+b)|s(a)-s(b)| let @xmath145 and @xmath146 .
then ( [ lemma2 ] ) follows immediately from ( [ s0]),([sp ] ) .
@xmath142 * lemma l3:*s_c_n+1>2-[sc ] to prove this look at the state ( [ state ] ) and write it in the form is _ c_n+1= using @xmath147 , @xmath148 , we get _ c_n+1=i++o(^2 ) and s(c_n+1)=2 -2[re(^(1)|^(2))]^22 -2 ^ 2 + o(^3)>2-for @xmath141 .
we now use the above lemmas to prove the stability of entanglement of the leading order hawking state : * theorem 1 : * suppose at time step @xmath91 the quanta @xmath149 have been emitted , and their total entanglement entropy with the hole is @xmath119 .
suppose the next pair emitted at timestep @xmath96 departs from the leading order hawking state latexmath:[$\sqi(|0\rangle_{c_{n+1}}|0\rangle _ { b_{n+1}}+ @xmath141 ; this condition being defined precisely in ( [ cond1 ] ) .
then after this time step the entropy of the emitted quanta @xmath151 will satisfy s(\{b}+b_n+1 ) > s_0 - 2thus the entanglement entropy of the emitted quanta necessarily _ increases _ with each emission if the departures from the leading order hawking state are small .
we use the strong subadditivity theorem @xcite which governs the entropies of three systems s(a+b)+s(b+c)s(a)+s(c ) we set @xmath152 .
this gives s(\ { b}+b_n+1)+s(p)s(\ { b } ) + s(c_n+1 ) we have from ( [ sp ] ) that @xmath153 . from ( [ s0 ] )
we have @xmath154 . from ( [ sc ] )
we have @xmath155 .
this gives s(\ { b}+b_n+1)>s_0 + 2 -2 this is the result that we wished to establish .
it proves that whenever we have ` normal physics ' at the horizon ( i.e. the parameter giving departures from the leading order state is @xmath141 ) then the entanglement always _ increases _ by at least @xmath122 after each stage of evolution .
the entanglement thus can not go down at any of these stages .
thus small corrections do not change the conclusion of hawking s leading order result , and we will get mixed states / remnants when the traditional black hole evaporates , unless we can show that the corrections to evolution are really order unity and not order @xmath141 . why have we taken so much trouble to establish this ` stability of entropy increase ' ?
a principal confusion about black holes arises from the following ( erroneous ) argument : \(a ) when a piece of paper burns away the information is captured by the radiation , but it is very hard to read this information from the radiation because it is encoded in delicate correlations between radiation quanta .
in fact page @xcite has shown that almost no information about the paper can be read off unless we look at a subsystem including at least half the radiation quanta .
\(b ) because the information is encoded in delicate correlations , a similar situation can hold in the case of hawking radiation . hawking computed only the leading order state , and
did not look at tiny corrections to this state . even though these corrections may be only exponentially small ( rather than order unity ) , they can be enough to solve the information paradox because only very delicate correlations were needed anyway . while ( a ) is correct , the followup step ( b ) is completely wrong , as we see by theorem 1 .
let us pinpoint the error more precisely .
consider a toy model of the burning paper .
if the atom on the surface is in state @xmath156 , then let this evolve to an entangled state of atom plus radiated photon as follows |1_a
|1_a|_ph+|2_a|_phs^(1 ) [ first ] where @xmath157 is another state of the atom orthogonal to @xmath158 , and the spin states of the photon are given with a subscript ` @xmath159 ' .
if the atom was in state @xmath157 , let this evolve as orthogonal to @xmath116 as it must be , since a unitary evolution will map orthogonal states @xmath160 to orthogonal states . in fig.[ffive
] we show the evolution of this system : the state produced at time step @xmath96 depends , _ to leading order _ , on the state at time step @xmath91 .
thus in this toy model we get with equal probability the states s^(1 ) , s^(1 ) ; s^(1)| s^(2)=0 [ dimension ] by contrast , the black hole case was sketched in fig.[ffour ] . in each time step
we create , to leading order , the _ same _ state @xmath116 .
this is the crucial difference between the black hole case and the radiation from any hot body .
the emission from the hot body must necessarily be an interaction leading to a vector space of states with dimension @xmath161 ; we have @xmath162 in the above toy example ( [ dimension ] ) .
we get one state or the other from this vector space depending on the state of the atom near the surface .
of course interactions within the body can make this emission much more complicated , but this requirement @xmath161 is what allows the information to come out .
by contrast , the black hole case has @xmath163 to leading order , so the state produced at the interaction point is the _ same _ regardless of the state of the black hole .
this leads to growing entanglement with each emission , and small corrections do not change the conclusion , as the above theorem shows . ) , ( [ second ] ) .
the left side of the vertical bar shows atoms in the body , the right side shows radiated photons with the arrow depicting their spin . if the atom near the boundary is in state @xmath98 ( unfilled circle ) then we get the linear combination of states on the right , and if the atom is in state @xmath164 ( filled circle ) , then we get an orthogonal different linear combination . ]
thus the essential mistake that one makes in step ( b ) of the above argument is in not specifying more carefully the term ` delicate correlations ' .
there is nothing delicate about these correlations in the emission process from a hot body : the emitted state changes radically from @xmath116 to an orthogonal state @xmath117 depending on the nature of the radiating atom .
what _ is _ delicate is the difficulty of extracting the state of the burning paper from the state of the radiation , since the data of the state is shared among many radiation quanta . in the black hole
the state of the created pair does _ not _ change radically from one emission to the next ; the corrections away from the leading orders state @xmath116 are themselves delicate ( i.e. , very small ) , and this leads to a very different outcome from the hot body case .
we now have all the tools needed to establish * hawking s ` theorem ' : * _ proof : _ we proceed in the following steps : \(1 ) consider the metric ( [ ten ] ) of the traditional black hole . by the observation noted in section [ slicing ] this black hole admits a slicing satisfying the niceness conditions n in the domain of interest . by assumption ( i ) of the theorem , this implies that we have ` solar system physics ' in the region around the horizon where particle pairs will be created .
\(2 ) in a region with ` solar system physics ' we can identify and follow the evolution of an outgoing normal mode with wavelength @xmath165 with @xmath166 a number of order unity ( we depict this evolution of modes in figures [ matffourt],[matftthree ] ) . for concreteness , take @xmath167 . again using the fact that we are in the domain of standard solar system physics , we know that the state in this mode can be expanded in terms of a fock basis of particles .
thus when @xmath168 we can write \(a ) _
i>0|_i|^2~1 this means that there are particles with wavelength @xmath169 at the horizon .
this means that the state at the horizon is not the vacuum , and so we do not have the traditional black hole , and are thus in violation of condition ( ii ) of the theorem .
( recall from the discussion in section ( [ trhole ] ) that there is no ambiguity in deciding if modes with wavelength @xmath169 are populated by quanta ; this ambiguity comes only when @xmath31 . )
\(b ) _ i>0|_i|^2< , 1 [ bound ] in this case the state in the mode is the vacuum when @xmath170 .
the requirement of solar system physics tells us that the evolution of this vacuum mode will have to be agree with the leading order evolution of vacuum modes on this geometry to within some accuracy governed by a small parameter @xmath171 .
thus there will exist an @xmath141 such that ( [ cond1 ] ) is satisfied by the evolution where the wavelength grows from @xmath170 to @xmath31 and particle pairs populate this mode .
\(3 ) since we have the niceness conditions n , the requirement of ` solar system physics ' under these conditions forces us to the fact that the particle pairs in option ( b ) above will be produced in a state close to the state @xmath116 in ( [ set ] ) . by theorem 1 ,
the entropy of entanglenment _ increases _ by at least @xmath122 with each timestep .
it is crucial that unlike the case of normal hot bodies , this entanglement entropy can not start decreasing after the halfway evaporation point ; this difference was discussed in detail at the end of section ( [ deformation ] ) .
\(4 ) the evaporation process produces @xmath172 pairs before the hole reaches a size @xmath173 .
at this point we have a large entanglement entropy , for which we can write s_ent > n22 since @xmath174 . following the argument in section ( [ haw ] )
we find that we are forced to mixed states / remnants ( i.e. if the planck sized hole evaporates away we get a radiation state ` entangled with nothing ' violating quantum unitarity , and if a planck sized remnant remains , then we have to admit remnants with arbitrarily high degeneracy in the theory ) .
this establishes the hawking theorem , @xmath142 is a schematic time coordinate ; since this is not a penrose diagram illustrating the actual spacetime structure of the geometry . ) ] .
the mode with shorter wavelength evolves for some more time before suffering the same distortion , and then it creates entangled pairs @xmath70 . ]
we have taken care to state hawking s argument in a way that is a ` theorem ' , so that if we wish to bypass the conclusion that we get mixed states / remnants then we have to violate one of the assumptions stated in the theorem . thus we can either argue that the niceness conditions n need to be supplemented by further conditions ( in which case we have to say what they are ) , or we have to argue that we do not obtain the traditional black hole in the theory ( i.e. there will not be an information free horizon ) .
we emphasize the essential strength of hawking s argument in the following corollary : * corollary 1 * the proof follows from theorem 1 .
a small change in the state at the horizon changes this entanglement by only a small fraction , and can not reduce it to zero .
conversely , if we wish this entanglement to be zero then we have to change the state of the created pairs to a state that is close to being _
orthogonal _ to the semiclassically expected one .
@xmath142 when people first come across hawking s argument , it appears that there are several ways around it .
so we now discuss aspects of the argument in more detail to understand why the information problem stayed unresolved for so long .
given the theorem , we have three choices : * 1 . new physics : * we can accept the assumptions made in the theorem as natural , and thus accept the conclusion that some new physics will be encountered when black holes evaporate . *
2 . no traditional holes :
* we can try to argue that the traditional hole does not form ; i.e. , the horizon has distortions ( hair ) which depend on the state of the hole .
there were several attempts to look for such hair , by solving the linear wave equations for scalars , vectors , tensors etc . in the black hole background and
looking for solutions with nontrivial support around @xmath25 .
in general one finds that any such hair would have a divergent energy - momentum tensor at the horizon , and so would not be an acceptable solution .
while the failure of these attempts did not prove that hair could not exist , the negative results came to be collectively dubbed the ` no - hair theorem ' for black holes , which says that the black hole geometry is characterized only by its global conserved quantum numbers like mass , charge and angular momentum . *
incompleteness of niceness conditions
n : * we can argue that the niceness conditions n are insufficient to guarantee local hamiltonian evolution , and must be supplemented with a new condition .
the reason to do this would be the following .
consider a spacelike slice in fig.[ftwo ] .
the matter @xmath18 is @xmath44 light years from the place where the pairs are being created , but this distance is one measured _ along _ the slice .
we know that in some way this entire length of the slice is packed into the a region @xmath175 , which is the radius of the hole as seen from outside .
this is of course a peculiarity of the black hole geometry : because space and time interchange roles inside the horizon , we can make arbitrarily long spacelike slices @xmath37 while staying inside the hole .
we may therefore like to argue that the niceness conditions n do not guarantee local hamiltonian evolution in gravity : we can have nonperturbative effects involving the entire region @xmath36 which will ` nonlocally ' connect physics at one point of the slice with another point of the slice . a gravitation instanton describing the black hole has been known from early days of black hole physics : the euclidean ` cigar ' solution which has action @xmath176 .
this suggests instanton effects of order e^-gm^2~e^-(mm_p)^2 [ action ] but we need corrections _ of order unity _ in the state of entangled pairs .
the traditional relativist can look at the state ( [ qtwoq3 ] ) obtained in his ` nice slices evolution ' , and ask how instanton effects , continued back to lorentzian signature , change this state to a state with no entanglement between the radiation and the hole . until he is shown how such a change can happen ,
he is stuck with the hawking theorem which gives mixed states / remnants at the end of evaporation . in all our discussion of the hawking theorem
we have not used the term ` information ' . even though the hawking argument is usually called the ` information paradox ' , the problem raised by his computation
is not really centered on information , but rather on the mixed nature of the radiation state .
in fact one can make radiation states that have full information about the hole but are still mixed ( and so violate unitarity ) , and conversely one can have the radiation state a pure unmixed state and yet carry no information about the hole .
let us see this in some detail since it leads to one of the main confusions about the nature of hawking s paradox .
* example 1:*suppose the matter state is @xmath177 .
suppose that the process of evolution creates _ two _ @xmath178 pairs , with the full state being described as follows : ( |+|)_m&&(_m_c_1+_m_c_1)(_b_1+_b_1 ) & & ( _ c_2_b_2+_c_2_b_2 ) note that we have made a toy model with a hypothetical evolution ; the state on the rhs is nowhere near the state we get from semiclassical evolution . with this evolution ,
the first hawking quantum @xmath68 carries the full information about the initial state , so the information comes ` out ' .
but there is a second quantum @xmath179 which is entangled with @xmath180 , so that the hawking radiation has entanglement entropy @xmath84 with the matter inside the hole .
if the hole evaporates away then the final state of radiation will be a mixed state , and we will get loss of unitarity even though the information has been retrieved . this toy example may appear unnatural because we let a second hawking quantum be emitted after the first one carried out all the information .
but in fact the entropy of hawking radiation quanta is some @xmath181 larger than the bekenstein entropy of the hole @xcite , due to the fact that the radiation free - streams out of the hole instead of emerging quasi - statically in a reversible manner .
thus the number of emitted quanta is larger than the minimum number needed to carry the information of the hole .
* example 2 : * let the initial matter state @xmath177 evolve as ( |+|)_m ( _ m_c+_m_c ) ( _ b+_b ) this time the state outside ( given by the @xmath16 quantum ) is a pure state with no entanglement with the state inside the hole .
but this state carries no information about the initial matter state @xmath182 , so if the black hole disappears we will be left with a pure state and yet lose information .
when we burn a piece of coal we have normal quantum evolution , so the radiation is in an unmixed state and also has the information of the coal . in black hole evaporation
the state ( [ qtwoq3 ] ) has _ both _ the problems of examples 1,2 : the radiation state is entangled with the state in the black hole interior , and also the radiation has only an infinitesimal amount of information about about the matter @xmath18 ( this infinitesimal amount of information arises from the small corrections of order @xmath171 that we have allowed ) .
it is natural to expect that a solution to hawking s paradox will resolve both problems at the same time , but it is helpful to keep in mind the above two examples when discussing information because the terms information loss and mixed state formation are sometimes used without distinction .
ads / cft @xcite duality is arguably one of the most interesting insights to emerge from string theory .
it is also a very useful tool in understanding black hole behavior .
but we can not simply invoke this duality to bypass the information paradox .
since this is a very common confusion among students of string theory , we present it as the following discussion : student : i do nt see why i should worry about hawking s paradox . now that we know that gravity is dual to a cft , and the cft is unitary , there can can not be any information loss , and so there is no problem .
that is an entirely circular argument , as i can easily show .
suppose i say : quantum mechanics is unitary , so there can be no information loss .
would i have resolved hawking s paradox ?
student : no , that would be silly . hawking
agrees that quantum mechanics is valid in all laboratory situations .
all he argues is that once we make a black hole , then quantum mechanics is violated .
so we can not use our tests of quantum mechanics in the everyday world to argue that there will be no problem when black holes form .
good , that is correct .
so now me let me ask the same question about ads / cft .
you have computed the spectrum , 2-point functions , 3 point functions etc . and found agreement between the cft and gravity descriptions .
i understand that you have numerous such computations .
but these processes do not involve black hole formation , and so do not address hawking s argument .
is that correct ?
student : yes , that is correct .
but we also have a black hole solution , called ads - schwarzschild , which is similar to the metric ( [ ten ] ) in its essential respects .
so i will now apply the hawking theorem , proved in the above sections , and _ prove _ that normal assumptions about locality gives mixed states / remnants . since your black hole has an ` information free horizon ' just like the schwarzschild hole , my arguments go through in exactly the same way .
thus you have three choices : ( a ) you can tell me why local hamiltonian evolution breaks down under the niceness conditions
n ( b ) you can agree to mixed states arising from pure states , which violates quantum theory ; in that case you lose ads / cft and string theory as well , since these are built on a foundation of usual quantum theory ( c ) you can agree to have remnants in your theory , and explain why they do not cause the problems that people feared . now
which will it be ?
student : i do nt know ... i see that you have forced me into a corner by using the hawking theorem , and i will have to work as hard to solve it in my ads case as i would have had to in the usual asymptotically flat case .
so let me try to evade the problem by trying a different argument .
i will use the cft to _ define _ my gravity theory .
then i will get a gravity theory that has the expected weak field behavior , and i will never violate quantum mechanics , and i can never get information loss . excellent . with this definition of your gravity theory
, you will by construction never have the ` mixed state ' possibility in hawking s theorem .
so now tell me : ( a ) will you claim that traditional black holes do not form in this gravity theory ( b ) the black hole horizon forms , but the niceness conditions n do not give locality ; in this case you should be sure to tell me how this happens and what niceness conditions you will add to recover conditions for the solar system limit ( c ) do neither of the above but say that the theory has long lived remnants . student : well ... i always assumed that i could have a normal black hole horizon , usual notions of niceness conditions , and still get all the information out in hawking radiation so there are no remnants .
but i see now that the hawking theorem forbids exactly this possibility .
i do nt know how i can say anything about the options you list without studying the black hole formation / evaporation process in detail in either the cft or the gravity theory . exactly .
you are welcome to do your analysis in either the cft or the gravity theory , but at the end you must show me what happens when a black hole forms and evaporates in the gravity description .
student : i see now that to solve hawking s paradox i will have to understand the interior structure of the black hole .
i can not get by with any abstract argumments like ` ads / cft removes the paradox . '
exactly ; in fact abstract arguments in general can not distinguish between whether locality broke down and information came out in the hawking radiation or if information leaked out from a long lived remnant .
solving the information paradox implies that you tell us which happens , and if you want the information to come out in the radiation , to show explicitly the process by which ` solar system physics ' broke down while the niceness conditions n were still valid .
in recent years string theory has provided a set of results which together give a comprehensive picture of how information can come out of black holes .
let us list the results first , and then discuss the qualitative picture of black hole formation and evaporation suggested by these results .
\(1 ) * fractionation:*in the early days of studying black holes in string theory it was assumed that at weak coupling we have a collection of branes , while at strong coupling we would get a black hole .
this black hole was supposed to arise because the brane bound state stayed small ( planck size of string size ) while the gravitational radius became big , generating the traditional horizon around a central mass . but
a closer analysis of string bound states shows that this is not the case , because of an effect termed ` fractionation ' .
if we make a bound state of different kinds of branes , then the effective excitations occur in fractional units @xcite ; these are therefore light , and if we estimate the ` effective size ' of the brane bound state then it grows with the number of branes as well as with the coupling @xcite .
this growth is such that the size of the brane bound state ( for the d1d5p system @xcite ) remains order horizon size at all couplings where a black hole can form .
this suggests a picture where we do _ not _ get a traditional black hole because the degrees of freedom of the hole distribute themselves throughout a horizon sized ball .
\(2 ) * 2-charge microstates:*the above picture was just based on a very crude estimate , but we can now start with simple holes and start constructing all their microstates .
the simplest holes are extremal 2-charge holes : the d1d5 system .
entropy counts in string theory are based on using arguments that give a count in a weak coupling model , and using invariance of a supersymmetric index to argue that we have the correct count at strong coupling where a black hole is supposed to form . to solve the information paradox we need to understand the _ structure _ of the d1d5 system at at _ strong _ coupling where the black hole is supposed to form .
how can we hope to do this ?
first , string dualities allow us to map the d1d5 system to the ns1p system : this is just a multiwound string ( ns1 ) carrying momentum ( p ) .
next , we start by looking at very simple states of this momentum carrying string .
the momentum excitations are distributed like a 1-dimensional gas of excitations on the string .
what if we take all the momentum to be in the lowest harmonic ?
this is certainly not a generic state , but it is a convenient starting point .
it is analogous to studying the problem of electromagnetic radiation in a box , where the photons can be distributed among all normal modes .
if we take a state where all the photons are in the lowest mode we get a ` laser beam ' which we can describe by classical @xmath183 fields , even though the generic state of the radiation can not be so described since the fluctuation in these fields will be @xmath184 . for the string
carrying momentum a similar thing happens , and the solution with all excitations in the lowest harmonic is well described by supergravity fields even at strong coupling .
we can write down the solution and transform it back by dualities to the d1d5 frame .
this particular state of the d1d5 system is known to have a geometry _ with no horizon and no singularity _
@xcite .
we can now move towards more generic states : for example we can distribute the momentum among _ two _ different harmonics . in the electromagnetic radiation case
we still get well defined @xmath183 fields , though the fluctuations are slightly higher than before since the occupation number in each mode is somewhat less . for our problem of the string carrying momentum ,
the solution is still well described by a supergravity approximation ( though the fluctuations will be slightly higher ) ; again the solution ( mapped back to the d1d5 duality frame ) can be explicitly written down and is found to have no horizon and no singularity @xcite .
an alternative description of these states can be obtained through the study of ` supertubes ' .
this is interesting : when we look at these ( nongeneric ) states of the 2-charge d1d5 black hole we do not find the traditional black hole structure ; instead the structure is modified all the way to where the horizon would have been , and in fact no horizon exists .
let us continue towards states that are still less generic : all we have to do is to continue distributing the momentum of the string among more and more modes till we reach the generic states described by bose and fermi distribution functions for the bosonic and fermionic excitations respectively .
as we approach these generic states , we still see no formation of a horizon or singularity , but the _ fluctuations _ of the supergravity fields approach order unity . at the same time
stringy corrections start appearing in the solution .
first order corrections were analyzed in @xcite and interestingly , were found to be _ bounded _ ; this is significant because if a correction diverged somewhere then it could convert a smooth solution to one with a horizon or a singularity .
as it is , we just get a picture of a messy , quantum ` fuzzball ' as we approach the generic solution starting from the nongeneric ones .
one now finds an interesting observation : the surface area @xmath126 of this fuzzball satisfies a bekenstein type relation @xcite ~~s where @xmath185 is the bekenstein - wald entropy of the extremal hole made with @xmath186 d1 branes and @xmath187 d5 branes .
\(3 ) * 3-charge microstates:*the 2-charge hole is called the ` small black hole ' , and one might wonder if similar constructions can be extended to 3-charge and 4-charge holes , which have ` classical sized horizons ' .
starting again from the nongeneric solutions and working towards less generic ones , we find a similar picture to the 2-charge case @xcite .
we write down all the microstates of the 3-charge hole at weak coupling , and start by finding the gravity description of the simplest ones at strong coupling . again , instead of getting a black hole with horizon , we get a solution with no horizon and no singularity .
large classes of such solutions are known now , and it is possible that there are enough to account for the entropy @xmath188 of the 3-charge strominger - vafa hole @xcite .
\(4 ) * hawking radiation:*the information paradox began with the study of hawking radiation .
the above results on extremal holes show that the in string theory the microstates of the hole do not have the traditional horizon structure expected from the classical geometry . but extremal holes do not radiate , and it would be more satisfactory to explicitly see the entire process by which black holes emit information carrying radiation . following the same approach as above ,
we start with the simplest nonextremal microstate , and construct its geometry at strong coupling @xcite .
it is found that this geometry has an ergoregion , and thus emits energy by _ ergoregion emission _ @xcite .
in @xcite it was shown that this emission is exactly the hawking radiation expected from this specific microstate .
this agreement is very important , so let us examine it in a little more detail .
the d1d5 system is described by an ` effective string ' , and the nonextremal d1d5 states carry left and right moving excitations along this effective string .
collision of these excitations lead to emission of radiation , with a rate which has the following schematic form : ( ) = v()_l()_r ( ) [ gamma ] here @xmath189 is the emission vertex , @xmath190 is the occupation number of the left moving excitations and @xmath191 is the occupation number of the right moving excitations .
each microstate has somewhat different @xmath192 in general , and will radiate a little differently .
if we set @xmath193 where @xmath194 is the bose distribution function describing the generic excitation state for the given total energy , then it is known that @xmath195 gives the semiclassically expected hawking radiation rate from the near extremal hole @xcite .
but this semiclassical computation of course gives a radiation that violates unitarity ; its only the _ rate _ of emission @xmath196 which agrees between the microscopic computation ( which is unitary ) and the gravity computation ( which is not ) .
but now we are in a position go do much more : we have an explicit construction of a nonextremal microstate at strong coupling ( which is seen to have no horizon ) and have computed its emission @xmath197 in the gravity description ( which happens by ergoregion emission ) .
the microscopic description of this microstate has particular values of @xmath198 ( which are very nongeneric since this microstate is very nongeneric ) .
we put @xmath199 in ( [ gamma ] ) and compute the hawking radiation @xmath200 expected for this particular microstate .
we find @xcite _ micro=_grav to reiterate : _ we explicitly see the hawking emission from a ( nongeneric ) microstate of the extremal hole ; we can look at this radiation and see how it carries out the information of the state .
_ this imprinting of information is straightforward in this simple example : the microstate has rotation , and the spectrum of radiation depends on the size and orientation of the ergoregion inside the geometry .
* lessons from the dual cft : * we should also ask what we can learn from the dual cft about dynamical black hole formation and evaporation processes . in @xcite
it was found that if one uses the cft at its free orbifold point , then an interesting thing happens as we track the evolution of a particle till it crosses the position where the horizon would have been naively expected : the notion of _ where _ the particle is becomes ill defined .
if we use a definition of time which is not the one at infinity , but adapted to the ` infalling frame ' , then we see no change as we cross the location where the horizon would have been , but such a time coordinate ceases to be definable after the infall time to the center of the hole .
this suggests connections to the idea of ` complementarity ' , something which should be explored further .
if we wish to study not a single particle infall but the collapse of an entire shell to make a black hole , then we have to do more : the free orbifold cft does not have the interactions needed to thermalize the initial state to a generic state of the hole .
thus we have to use the ` deformation operator ' which take the cft away from the orbifold point and makes it interacting .
this operator twists together two strands of the string , adding an insertion of the supersymmetry operator at the vertex .
qualitatively , we can see that such an operator will take a pair of quanta in the cft , and upon their collision , distribute their energy over several quanta .
this process will therefore take a pair of high energy excitations ( which would be created by a single high energy particle falling into the ads region of the dual geometry ) and convert them to lower and lower energy quanta , a process which looks like the thermalization of the initial quantum into a superposition of fuzzballs .
one can ask when in the gravity theory there is enough energy to create a black hole ; it was found in @xcite that this energy is such that if we distribute it into lower energy quanta in the cft then these cft excitations would cover the entire ` effective string ' .
thus we get a simple description of black hole formation in the dual cft : the initial excitations created by an infalling particle break up into lower energy excitations ; if this process ends before the entire effective string is covered , we do not get a black hole .
( the process can end before black hole formation because we have a given length for the effective strings in the initial state , and a string of a given length @xmath10 can not support quanta of energy lower than @xmath201 . )
one notes in this computation that the criterion for black hole formation depends only on the length of the components of the effective string . and not on the effective coupling .
thus this thermlization process is not ` stringy ' , rather it involves multiple insertions of the gravitational interaction vertex in the gravity description .
this suggests that the formation of fuzzballs happens when the large phase phase space of fuzzball solutions is explored by gravity interactions , and not by @xmath202 corrections to the metric .
it may seem that such a computation in the cft using the deformation operator will be very complicated since the entire process of black hole formation will involve a large number of interactions .
what helps here is that as we increase the coupling , the rate at which thermalization can take place does not keep growing : it saturates because if we wish to create quanta of energy @xmath203 from quanta of energy @xmath204 then the process will take a time at least @xmath205 because of phase space constraints .
since the cft has no intrinsic length or time scale , the time for the mean energy @xmath204 of quanta to drop to say half its value must be determined by @xmath204 alone ( if it is going to remain nonzero as the effective coupling @xmath206 ) .
thus we get a simple picture of the thermalization process : quanta split into other quanta as fast as they can given their wavelengths , and the energy keeps getting redistributed over more and more strands of the effective string .
the interesting thing here is that _ any _ strand of the effective string can interact with _ any _ other strand , so we have a huge ( order @xmath207 ) coordination number for the interaction , unlike normal physics where a particle can only talk to a few nearest neighbours .
this picture agrees with the requirement in @xcite that the thermalization be exponentially fast to save the idea of complementarity ; this is something that should be explored in more detail .
* phase space : * finally , let us come to the intuitive picture of why black hole microstates can be quantum fuzzballs when the niceness conditions n required the traditional black hole with an ` information - free horizon ' .
the crucial issue appears to be the analysis of _ phase space_. in the 2-charge solutions made from a string carrying momentum , we find that an interesting fact of string theory was crucial : there are no longitudinal waves on the fundamental string .
thus if we try to add the second charge ( momentum ) to the first charge ( the string ) , then we necessarily have to make the string execute transverse oscillations .
this is what causes the string to spread over a nontrivial transverse area , and ultimately to fill up a horizon sized region .
why does the string need this much transverse space ?
suppose we require the string to execute its oscillations in a much smaller transverse radius .
then the momentum will have to be carried by a few high frequency modes , and there is a only a small number of such states @xcite .
in general we find that if we allow too small a transverse space for the states to live in , then we can not fit in the full phase space of solutions contributing to the bekenstein entropy @xcite .
phase space arguments also tell us that the infinite throat of the classical 3-charge solution will be cut off at some depth since the infinite throat is only one point in a space of ` capped throats ' @xcite . a detailed analysis of phase space measures for the 3-charge case was done in @xcite , and it was found that the throats will end at a depth expected by the microscopic analysis of states .
we now have all the tools that we need to put together a logical picture of black hole formation and evaporation .
suppose a shell collapses to form a black hole .
the time independent states at energy @xmath23 are fuzzballs , with no horizon .
let us estimate a tunneling amplitude between the shell state and any of the fuzzball states .
these are both macroscopically different states , so the amplitude @xmath208 for this tunneling is very small , as was noted in ( [ action ] ) : ~e^-s_tunnel , s_tunnel ~ 116gr ~ gm^2~(mm_p)^2 [ actionq ] but now comes an interesting twist : the _ number _ of fuzzball states @xmath209 that we can tunnel to is very large , being given by the bekenstein entropy ~e^s_bek~e^gm^2 thus we see that the smallness of the tunneling amplitude @xmath208 can be offset by the largeness of @xmath209 @xcite .
the large entropy is of course a characteristic feature of black holes , not present in other macroscopic bodies like the sun . in any path integral we have the action , and a measure .
usually the measure factor is ` small ' ( i.e. order @xmath210 ) in its effect on macroscopic processes , but the large entropy of the black hole has made its effects comparable to the effects of the classical action , and thus invalidated classical intuition .
we need one last estimate before the picture is complete .
tunneling is really a spreading of the wavefunction over available phase space , and we need to know that this happens in a time shorter than the hawking evaporation time ; otherwise we would not have avoided hawking s paradox and would end up with remnants . interestingly
, a simple estimate of this spreading time shows that it will always be less that the hawking evaporation time @xcite . to summarize
, we have put together three things in this picture : ( a ) we have recognized that black hole microstates are fuzzballs with no traditional horizon ( b ) an estimate of the tunneling process shows that the smallness of the amplitude to tunnel to fuzzballs can be offset by the largeness of the number of states available to tunnel to ( c ) the time for this tunneling is shorter than hawking evaporation time , so the collapsing shell becomes a linear combination of fuzzball states quickly enough so that radiation can now emerge from the fuzzball rather than a traditional horizon .
the first point to note about the information paradox is that it is very nontrivial : we _ can not _ preserve the standard rules for when we have nice local evolution , and still avoid hawking s puzzle .
it is a common misconception that small corrections to hawking radiation , ignored in the leading order computation , will resolve the problem ; we proved explicitly in theorem 1 that such is _ not _ the case .
the resolution of the puzzle is much more nontrivial and involves a deep lesson of quantum gravity : there can be such a large phase space of solutions in a given region that path integral is no longer dominated by the extremum of the classical action .
put another way , the error in earlier black hole work was to assume that quantum gravity effects are always confined to within the planck distance @xmath211 . while @xmath211 is the natural length scale that we can make from @xmath212
, we need a large number of quanta @xmath73 to make the black hole , and we have to then ask if quantum gravity effects stretch over distances @xmath211 or distances @xmath213 for some @xmath214 .
one finds from the fuzzball computations that the latter is the case , and @xmath215 is such that the effects reach upto horizon scales .
a common question is whether we can now conjecture a picture for the interior of the schwarzschild hole .
let us draw our intuition from the nonextremal microstate described in the last section .
the crucial point is that the geometry was independent of @xmath216 , yet we can not make a spacelike slicing that is time - independent . this is because we have an ergoreion ; the killing vector @xmath217 is timelike at infinity , _ but is not timelike everywhere .
_ thus the @xmath38 surface is not spacelike everywhere .
if we do try to foliate the spacetime with spacelike slices then we find that these slices ` stretch ' during the evolution , and create particles leading to particle creation by the mechanism of ergoregion emission .
this emission agreed _ exactly _ with the hawking radiation expected for this microstate .
we can now move towards more generic microstates , just like we did for the extremal case : we get more and more complicated ergoregions @xcite .
the general classical microstate is found to always have either an ergoregion or time dependence , and so radiates energy . as we reach the generic state the scale of variation of the features in the geometry
is expected to reach the planck scale , and stringy effects will give us a quantum fuzzball , just like in the extremal case .
why does nt the energy of the schwarzschild hole all fall into the origin at @xmath40 ?
consider the simpler case of a single string in flat space .
it would seem that a string in the shape of a circle must shrink to a point under its tension so there should be no extended string states .
but of course we can get extended states : the string profile is not circularly symmetric , and while each segment of the string is indeed trying to shrink , the whole exited string maintains a nonzero size in its evolution .
similarly , the nonextremal microstates are not spherically symmetric , and they can not be sliced in a time independent manner .
each part of the geometry is dynamical , and the whole structure maintains a nontrivial structure without generating a traditional horizon .
it would be interesting to apply these lessons to cosmology .
near the big bang singularity , we have a very high density of matter , and thus presumable a large available phase space of states . spreading over phase space
may again make it incorrect to take any one of these states and evolve it classically .
one approach to analyzing the early universe using the full entropy of states was taken in @xcite .
it would be interesting to analyze possible relations between the large space of bkl singularities and the possible microstates at the initial singularity ; there are strong similarities between the local behavior at the bkl singularity and the pole structure of fuzzball states .
in general , it would indeed be very exciting to explore relations between black holes and the physics of the early universe .
not everyone understands hawking s paradox the same way , and discussing the paradox with people having different views has helped me enormously in making this hopefully precise version of hawking s argument . in particular
i would like to thank sumit das , gary horowitz , don marolf , don page , ashoke sen , steve shenker , lenny susskind and edward witten for patiently debating many issues about the paradox .
i thank patrick hayden for discussions and for suggesting the use of entropy inequalities . for
the work of fuzzballs which i summarized at the end , i would like to thank my collaborators steve avery , borun chowdhury , stefano giusto , oleg lunin , ashish saxena and yogesh srivastava , and all my colleagues who have worked tirelessly on this problem .
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in this conference on neutrino physics , i have been asked to talk about the determination of cosmological parameters .
the reason for this , obviously , is the potential importance of neutrinos for cosmology .
they can serve as a component for the dark matter of the universe . on the other hand ,
many important constraints on neutrino properties are derived from various cosmological considerations .
the precise values of such constraints are determined by various cosmological parameters like the hubble parameter , the density of matter in the universe , etc . in the light of this relationship
, it is important to know the cosmological parameters accurately . in this talk
, i will outline the methods for the determination of cosmological parameters .
since i am not a specialist in this field , at best i can hope that this exposition will be useful to other non - specialists .
the outline of the paper is the following . in sec .
[ df ] , i define the cosmological parameters . there are , in fact , three of them the hubble parameter , and the present density of matter energy and vacuum energy in the universe . in sec .
[ t0 ] , i show how the age of the universe depends on these parameters . then in sec .
[ ev ] , i show how the evolution of the universe depends on the values of the cosmological parameters . an understanding of the evolution is essential in formulating strategies for the cosmological parameters .
some such strategies are discussed in general terms in sec .
[ st ] . at the end of this section
, we indicate the outline for the rest of the paper .
in cosmology , we start with the the assumption of a homogeneous and isotropic universe , which is described by the friedman - robertson - walker ( frw ) metric : @xmath3 \ , . \label{frwmetric}\end{aligned}\ ] ] here , @xmath4 is a dimensionless co - ordinate distance and @xmath5 is an overall scale parameter .
the physical distance between two points depends on the co - ordinate distance and the scale parameter , in a manner which will be discussed later .
the parameter @xmath6 , if it is non - zero , can always be adjusted to have unit magnitude by adjusting the definition of @xmath4 .
thus , the possible values of @xmath6 are given by @xmath7 usually , we think of the universe to be open if @xmath8 , for which it expands forever .
contrarily , if @xmath9 , the universe is closed , i.e. , it is destined to recollapse at some time in the future . the borderline case , @xmath10 ,
is called a flat universe .
we will see that these statements are correct only if there is no cosmological constant . from the general consideration of homogeneity and isotropy , however , the cosmological constant can be present , and these notions get modified , as we will see . in presence of a cosmological constant @xmath11 ,
the equations of motion are given by @xmath12 here , @xmath13 is the ricci tensor which is defined through the metric of eq .
( [ frwmetric ] ) , and @xmath14 .
although in general eq .
( [ einstein ] ) gives 10 equations , here most of them are identical because the metric is homogeneous and isotropic .
in fact , one gets only two independent equations .
one of them is given by @xmath15 where @xmath16 is the energy density of matter .
this equation is valid for all time . applying it to the present time , we can write @xmath17 where @xmath0 is the value of @xmath18 at the present time , and the subscript ` 0 ' on @xmath16 and @xmath19 denote the values of these parameters at the present time .
we now introduce the dimensionless parameters @xmath20 these definitions enable us to rewrite eq .
( [ eqnforh0 ] ) in the following form : @xmath21 this shows that , among the three parameters introduced in eq.([omegas ] ) , we can take only @xmath1 and @xmath2 to be independent .
@xmath22 is not .
in addition , @xmath0 is another parameter .
these are the three cosmological parameters , and the aim of this lecture is to show how they may be determined . before proceeding
, i would like to make one comment .
note that all these parameters are defined using values of physical quantities _ at the present time_. one may tend to think that because of that , the present time @xmath23 should also be added to the list of parameters .
but we will show that in fact @xmath23 is not independent .
so far , we have discussed only one of the independent equations that arise among the set given in eq .
( [ einstein ] ) . in order to proceed ,
we need the other .
this is in fact equivalent to the statement of conservation of matter , which means that the quantity @xmath24 is constant over time , or @xmath25 from now on , it is more convenient to use dimensionless variables instead of @xmath19 and @xmath26 .
we define @xmath27 using these variables , we can rewrite eq .
( [ evoleqn ] ) in the following form : @xmath28 \nonumber\\ & = & { 1\over y } \omega_m + y^2 \omega_\lambda + \omega_k \end{aligned}\ ] ] eliminating @xmath22 now using eq .
( [ sum=1 ] ) , we obtain @xmath29 or @xmath30 if there was a big bang , @xmath31 was zero at the time of the bang , i.e. , at @xmath32 . on the other hand
, @xmath33 now , by definition .
integrating eq .
( [ yeqn ] ) between these two limits , we obtain @xmath34 this is the equation which shows that the age of the universe is _ not _ independent , but rather is determined by @xmath0 , @xmath1 and @xmath2 .
= .3 conventionally , one does not use the dimensionless parameter @xmath31 , but rather uses the _ red - shift parameter _
@xmath35 , defined by @xmath36 using this variable , eq .
( [ yeqn ] ) becomes @xmath37 so that eq .
( [ yage ] ) can be written in the following equivalent form : @xmath38 in fig .
[ f : age ] , we have shown contours of equal values of @xmath39 for different values of @xmath1 and @xmath2 . for a fixed value of @xmath2 , the figure shows that @xmath39 decreases for increasing values of @xmath1 .
this is because with more matter , the force of gravity is larger , and the initial bang slows down in less time . on the other hand , for fixed @xmath1 ,
the age increases with increasing @xmath2 . and
finally , note that the contour lines for large values of @xmath39 appear very closer and closer , and approaches asymptotically the line for infinite age . beyond this line
, there is a region in the parameter plane for which the age integral diverges .
this is the upper left part of the plot .
later we will discuss what sort of evolution does this part represent .
in order to discuss the evolution of the universe , let us not integrate eq .
( [ yeqn ] ) all the way to the initial singularity , but rather to any arbitrary time @xmath26 .
this gives @xmath40 equivalently , using the red - shift variable , we can write @xmath41 the numerical results of this integration has been shown in fig .
[ f : evol ] for different values of the pair @xmath42 .
= .25=.5 = .25=.5 = .25=.5 = .25=.5 = .25=.5 = .25=.5 some discussion of these evolution plots are in order .
we have shown the plots in six different panels , with some overlaps between them .
the first panel represents different examples of universes with @xmath43 , i.e. , no cosmological constant .
we know that in this case , the universe closes and collapses to zero volume in the future if @xmath44 .
this shows clearly in the curve d , for which @xmath45 . for curve c ,
the collapsing is not clear in the diagram , but that s because we have not plotted for large enough values of the time variable . for curve b , @xmath46 , and this universe
expands forever .
curve a has @xmath47 . since @xmath43
, this implies that @xmath48 , i.e. , the universe is flat . in the second panel ,
we show more flat universes , i.e. , universes for which @xmath10 , or alternatively @xmath49 .
we see that , subject to this condition , the larger the value of @xmath2 , the longer is the past history of the universe .
the extreme example is obtained for @xmath50 , shown as curve f. although this means @xmath51 which is unrealistic , since we know there must be some matter in the universe , otherwise who is writing this article and who is going to read it ? but in any case , this choice is instructive , and it shows that in this case , the scale parameter started in the infinite past with a zero value , and expanded very slowly for most of the past history of the universe , until recently when it started to grow .
in the third panel , we show universes with @xmath9 , i.e. , @xmath52 .
one of these curves , viz .
d , has been encountered in the first panel already .
this one has @xmath45 and @xmath43 , and it is destined for a recollapse in the future . if we increases @xmath2 a little bit , viz .
to 0.1 , we still obtain a recollapsing universe , as shown by the curve g. however , if we take a much larger value of @xmath2 , we find a evolution curve like that shown as h. here , the universe expands forever , despite the fact that @xmath9 , or @xmath53 .
this is contrary to our intuition obtained from the case of @xmath43 universes .
similar conflict is encountered in the fourth panel , which shows open universes , i.e. , universes with @xmath54 .
the curve b , shown earlier in the first panel , shows an evergrowing universe , and so does curve i. but curve j shows a recollapsing universe . in view of these ,
let us adopt a more general classification of the different kinds of universes that we have seen .
we will keep calling a universe _ open _ or _ closed _ depending on whether @xmath22 is positive or negative . on the other hand
, a universe will be called _ elliptic _ if it recollapses in the future , and _ hyperbolic _ if it is evergrowing . for @xmath43 ,
open universes are necessarily hyperbolic and closed universes are elliptic .
but for non - zero @xmath2 , we can have open hyperbolic , open elliptic , closed hyperbolic or closed elliptic universes .
before we move on to the next section , we need to discuss the two lower panels of fig .
[ f : evol ] . in the lower left panel , we have repeated curve f which was shown in the second panel of flat universes . as we said
, in this case the universe spends an infinite amount of time for which it hardly expands .
curve k gives another example of this kind .
for different values of @xmath1 and @xmath2 , the initial scale parameter is different .
these are examples of _ loitering _ universes .
curve l shows a universe which is very close to the loitering case .
it stays at a particular value of the scale parameter for a long time , but not for infinite amount of time . if the value of @xmath2 is increased further from those of any of the loitering universe cases in the previous panel , we find _ bouncing _ universes , as shown in the last panel . in these cases ,
the universe started with an infinite scale factor , shrunk to a minimum value at some time in the past and is expanding now .
this expansion will go on forever .
these are the cases for which the age integral in eq .
( [ yage ] ) diverges , and is represented by the empty upper left corner of the age plots of fig .
[ f : age ] .
= .35 all these panels have been summarized in fig .
[ f : scheme ] , where we have shown which values of @xmath1 and @xmath2 give open or closed universes , as well as hyperbolic or elliptical universes . as we see clearly in this plot , the identification of closed universes with elliptical ones works only for @xmath55 , and so does the identification of open universes with hyperbolic ones .
we have seen , with many examples , the nature of the evolution of the universe for various values of the cosmological parameters .
now the big question is : how to determine which one is our own universe ?
one thing is easy to say , that we do not live in a bouncing universe .
the reason is that these universes have a minimum value of @xmath56 , i.e. , a certain maximum value for the red - shift parameter @xmath35 , say @xmath57 .
this value satisfies the relation @xmath58 we know there exists quasars at @xmath59 .
so , if we make the reasonable estimate that @xmath60 , these cosmologies are ruled out .
however , this still leaves us with a vast region in the @xmath1-@xmath2 parameter region , and we need to set up a strategy to proceed . the general ( and obvious ) strategy is the following .
we need to find some observable quantity which depends on the cosmological parameters , determine the value of that observable
. that will give us the values for the cosmological parameters .
our original question now shifts to the following one : what is a good observable for this purpose ?
we have already encountered one quantity which depends on the cosmological parameters , viz . , the age of the universe .
unfortunately , it can not serve our needs very well .
the reason is that one can not really determine @xmath23 from any direct observations .
no matter how old an object is found in the universe , that will not determine @xmath23 , but rather only put a lower limit on it .
so we will use estimates of @xmath23 only as a check for whatever strategy we adopt .
another quantity that depends on @xmath1 and @xmath2 is the _ lookback time _ for any object , which is @xmath61 that appears in , e.g. , eq .
( [ lookback ] ) .
we look at a certain object in the sky .
we find its red - shift , which can be done very accurately .
if we now have some way of knowing the time at which the light that we observe was emitted from the object , we are through . but this can not be done very well . by looking at the composition of the object and by comparing it with some evolution model , we can probably estimate the age , but it will depend on the evolution model , and so the method is somewhat uncertain .
therefore one usually relies on the measurement of distances of objects as a function of their redshifts for the purpose of determining cosmological constants .
in order to explain the process , first we need to find out how the physical distance of an object depends on @xmath35 for different values of @xmath1 and @xmath2 .
this issue is taken up in the next section .
following that , in sec [ dm ] , we will discuss some methods of measurements of distances , and summarize how they determine the cosmological constants .
the importance of these determinations for particle physics is given in sec .
a light ray traces a null geodesic , i.e. , a path for which @xmath62 in eq .
( [ frwmetric ] ) .
thus , a light ray coming to us satisfies the equation @xmath63 where @xmath4 is the dimensionless co - ordinate distance introduced in eq.([frwmetric ] ) . using eqs .
( [ z ] ) and ( [ zeqn ] ) , we can rewrite it as @xmath64 where on the left side , we have replaced @xmath6 by @xmath22 using the definition of eq .
( [ omegas ] ) .
integration of this equation determines the co - ordinate distance as a function of @xmath35 : @xmath65 \,,\end{aligned}\ ] ] where `` sinn '' means the hyperbolic sine function if @xmath66 , and the sine function if @xmath53 . if @xmath48 , the sinn and the @xmath22 s disappear from the expression and we are left only with the integral .
= .3 the physical distance to a certain object can be defined in various ways . for what follows
, we will need what is called the `` luminosity distance '' @xmath67 , which is defined in a way that the apparent luminosity of any object goes like @xmath68 .
this is related to the co - ordinate distance @xcite by @xmath69 thus , @xmath70 \,.\end{aligned}\ ] ] in fig .
[ f : distance ] , we plot @xmath71 for various choices of @xmath1 and @xmath2 to show the general nature of the variation .
so let us now ask how one can measure the distance of an object . in a sense , this is the most important problem of observational cosmology . older methods of measuring distances used ladder techniques @xcite .
this means that , upto a certain distance , one particular method was used , and this was used to calibrate another method which could be used for larger distances .
this process was carried on to higher and higher rungs of the ladder . in order to get to distances large enough to distinguish between different universes , one had to go through several rungs of the ladder , and accordingly there were too many uncertainties in the measurement .
recently various other methods have been developed and employed to measure the cosmological parameters .
these methods avoid using the ladder technique and are therefore expected to provide much better estimates of distances .
some of these are listed below . *
gravitational lensing*. different images of an object from a gravitational lens are formed by light rays coming through different directions , and therefore traversing different path lengths .
if the original object has some periodicity in the luminosity , the periodicity of the images will depend on the path length .
this provides a way of determining distances @xcite .
so far , data is very scarce .
* sunayev - zeldovich effect*. photons from the cosmic microwave background , when passing through a galaxy , get scattered . as a result , they gain in energy . thus , looking at the direction of a galaxy , the microwave background radiation does not look thermal .
rather , there is some depletion of the low energy photons and some gain of the high energy ones .
the amount of this depletion depends on the size of the galaxy . using this
, one can measure the actual sizes of the galaxies .
the apparent size observed would then provide a measure for the distance @xcite .
the data obtained until now show a lot of scatter , and we will not discuss them here .
* microwave background anisotropies*. the evolution of density perturbations depend on the values of the cosmological parameters .
therefore , the anisotropies in the microwave background radiation should be predictable in terms of the values of @xmath1 and @xmath2 .
with very accurate determinations of these anisotropies in the near future , this method will probably turn out to be the best probe for the cosmological parameters . *
supernova 1a . * in this method , it is assumed that any supernova of type 1a has the same absolute luminosity .
the measurement of the apparent luminosity therefore provides a measure for the distance .
this will be discussed in more detail in the remaining part .
= .5 = .25 supernova of type 1a are identified by the nature of their light curve , i.e. , the variation of their intensity with time , as shown in fig .
[ f : lcurve ] . in addition
, the spectral analysis reveals lines for heavy elements like magnesium and silicon .
supernovas of this type are believed to occur due of the merger of two white dwarf stars whose masses are very close to the chandrasekhar limit . since the masses entering into the explosion is roughly the same for any supernova 1a , it is reasonable to assume that the intrinsic ( or absolute ) luminosity of any supernova of this type is the same .
thus , if one measures the apparent luminosity at the maximum of the light curve , this should scale as the inverse square of the distance of the supernova , where the distance is defined to be the luminosity distance .
astronomers use ` magnitudes ' to denote luminosities , which is a logarithmic representation .
thus , the apparent magnitude at the maximum should satisfy the relation @xmath72 we have already shown in fig .
[ f : distance ] how @xmath73 varies with @xmath35 for different values of @xmath1 and @xmath2 .
so the strategy must be simple .
one should plot the observed values of the distance vs @xmath35 , and determine which pairs of values of @xmath1 and @xmath2 give the best fit for the observed points .
there is only one small point to settle before embarking on this program .
the vertical axis of fig .
[ f : distance ] gives the logarithmic values of @xmath74 , not of @xmath67 .
thus , unless we know what @xmath0 is , we can not proceed .
however , the thing to note is that for small values of @xmath35 , the plots are independent of @xmath1 and @xmath2 .
thus , if one determines the red - shifts and apparent magnitudes of nearby supernovas , that should determine the hubble parameter . using this value
then , one can go over to larger values of @xmath35 and determine @xmath1 and @xmath2 .
= .4 the part of the task at low @xmath35 was extensively done a few years ago @xcite , and the data are shown in fig .
[ f : lblplot ] .
the value of the hubble parameter obtained from this data is : @xmath75 using this value , one can determine the distances of farther supernovas .
this has been started in 1998 under the team effort called the ` supernova cosmology project ' ( scp ) .
they measured the redshift and the effective magnitude of 42 supernovas and published their result , which is shown in fig .
[ f : lblplot ] . superimposed on their data
are the results expected from different combinations of @xmath1 and @xmath2 .
apart from an overall normalization , these are the curves as shown in fig .
[ f : distance ] .
one can now determine which values of @xmath1 and @xmath2 fit the data sufficiently well , and the results of the analysis of the scp has been shown in fig.[f : lblresults ] .
= .4 clearly , the fits show that the cosmological constant is non - zero .
in fact , if we stick to flat universes , which are denoted by the diagonal straight line on this plot , the best value that the scp advocate is @xmath76 in general , however , we obtain a region in the plane , and the regions allowed at different confidence levels are shown on the plot . in fig .
[ f : age ] , we have seen how these contours look like . in general , one obtains contours of equal @xmath39 . assuming a value of @xmath0 , one can draw contours of equal age , which have also been superposed on the plot of fig .
[ f : lblresults ] .
the value of @xmath0 assumed is inspired by the results shown in eq .
( [ h0result ] ) , and is indicated in the figure and the caption .
the best fit that the scp advocate is : @xmath77 for flat universes .
if one does not assume a flat universe , the best fit for the age is @xmath78 of course , both these values for @xmath23 are for the value of @xmath0 indicated in the figure , which is the central value quoted in eq.([h0result ] ) .
what do these result mean for particle physics ? various particles , like neutrinos , can contribute only to @xmath1 .
the central value of the hubble parameter , taken literally , tells us that the critical density of the universe is @xmath79 moreover , taking the best values advocated in eq .
( [ best ] ) , we obtain that the matter density in the present universe is @xmath80 with the standard number density of neutrinos of about 110/@xmath81 , the maximum allowed mass for light stable neutrinos is about 8ev .
one can similarly go through various other constraints on neutrino properties derived from cosmology , and find that they become much more stringent than the values usually quoted . and
this is not all . as we already pointed out ,
the growth of density perturbations have different characteristics in a universe with non - zero @xmath11 .
these considerations also put extra constraints on different types of possible dark matter .
this is a subject which is only beginning to be investigated @xcite . | arxiv |
the ageing of the population worldwide has been followed by an increase in the prevalence of mental illness , making this one of the most important causes of morbidity . in this context , there are numerous psychological and behavioural symptoms associated with dementia that strongly affect the objectives and life expectations of the elderly and increase the difficulties in the process of assessment , diagnosis , and treatment of these people .
dementia occupies a central place as a condition of morbidity in this population , with a significant increase as we advance in age , constituting one of the most common causes of disability in western society [ 17 ] .
the change in the age pyramid , which occurred mainly after the 50s , makes the study of ageing and old age a primary focus of attention and concern of health professionals and researchers , in order to deepen their knowledge and create evidence that will allow the development of more structured and targeted responses to meet specific needs of older people and to promote active and successful ageing . as part of this work ,
elderly needs assessment is the fundamental base for a social / health policy definition and intervention .
there is a met need if the person has a ( moderate or serious ) problem in the area for which they require assistance , which they receive and it is appropriate to met that need .
there is an unmet need when individual has a significant problem in the area for which they are not receiving appropriate assistance ( wrong kind of help or no assistance ) [ 1 , 811 ] .
this paper aims to present the results of a pilot study conducted in the context of the research project the needs of older people with mental health problems developed under the doctoral program in gerontology and geriatrics in the abel salazar biomedical sciences institute , university of oporto / aveiro , portugal .
the aim of the study was to identify the met and unmet needs of the elderly and their carers and to analyze the relationship between those needs , psychopathology and functionality in older people with mental health problems .
an elderly sample ( over 65 years ) of both sexes diagnosed with mental disorder according to the icd-9international classification of diseases was recruited consecutively from the national health service in the inpatient and outpatient department of psychiatry and mental health ( dsmp ) at a health unit in northern portugal .
also , 52 carers and 71 staff members were interviewed using the camberwell assessment of need for the elderly ( cane ) to identify met and unmet needs .
it was established as inclusion criteria : 65 years old ; mental disease ( icd-9 criteria ) ; it was admitted as inpatients or outpatients in the psychiatry and mental health department ( dsmp ) .
the following instruments were used : the camberwell assessment of need for the elderly ( cane ) ; the minimental state examination / mmse ; the clock draw test / cdt ; the geriatric depression scale / gds ; the zung anxiety scale / zas ; the barthel index / bi ; the lawton index / li ; and the graffar 's social classification / gsc . in order to fit the assessment protocol to the context of the investigation , previously validated versions of the instruments or versions adapted to the portuguese population were used . in that sense , the following were used : the portuguese version of cane ; the portuguese version of the mmse , with the new normative values adapted to the portuguese population ( cognitive deficit : 02 school years 22 ; 36 school years 24 ; 7 or more school years 27 ) .
regarding the clock draw test , since a version adapted to the portuguese population is still being developed , the original version was used with the coding system proposed by cacho et al .
( scores 010 : > 6 normal ; 6 abnormal ) , which is being used by some institutions in portugal . as to the geriatric depression scale
( 15 items version ) and zung anxiety scale , the portuguese versions were used .
regarding the functionality , portuguese versions of the barthel index ( scores 020 : total independence 20 ; moderate dependence 1319 ; severe dependence 912 ; total dependence 08 ) and lawton index ( scores 023 : total independence 23 ; some level of dependence < 23 ) were also used .
finally , concerning the social classification , an adapted version of the graffar 's social classification ( scores 010 : 02 class i ; 3 - 4 class ii ; 5 - 6 class iii ; 7 - 8 class iv ; 9 - 10 class v ) was used .
the participants were identified by the researcher through a contact with the mental health services . in the context of this study ,
the individuals were contacted and interviewed when they accessed the outpatient service or were inpatients during the study period .
the researcher gave them information about the study and asked them if they wanted to participate .
the researcher then tried to identify a suitable member of staff and a primary caregiver to perform the assessment .
after this , 21 inpatients , 46 outpatients , 6 in nursing homes , and 2 at home were assessed consecutively during the period from april to september 2011 . despite the assessment being planned at the moment the patients had access to the health unit , in some of the cases the researcher had to go to their homes or nursing homes .
also , 52 carers and 71 staff members ( psychiatrists , psychologists , social workers , and psychiatric nurses ) were interviewed separately by the researcher using the camberwell assessment of need for the elderly ( cane ) .
the cane was given as a structured interview to the patients , their informal carer , staff , and evaluator from items 1 to 24 , a and b sections .
after the data collection , using the instruments and procedures listed above , the data was organized and classified and the statistical analysis was carried out using ibm spss , version 19 . in the development of this study ,
all procedures concerning ethical approval were obtained from the ethics committee and from the board of the institution where the study was held . all the necessary measures to safeguard participants ' anonymity and confidentiality of information
the data was collected from a convenience sample of 75 patients , with ages ranging from 65 to 93 years ( mean = 73.3 years and sd = 6.6 ) .
the majority were female ( 73.3% ) , married ( 49.3% ) , living with a partner ( 50.7% ) , and in rural areas ( 74.7% ) ; a high percentage belonged to a very low social class ( 94.7% ) , according to the graffar classification .
most of them were interviewed as outpatients ( 73.3% ) , and the main diagnosis was depressive disorder ( 36% ) , followed by dementia ( 29.3% ) and somatic comorbidity ( 98.7% ) . in 69.3% of the cases
, there was an informal carer , and of these only 56% lived with the carer ; most ( 80% ) did not care for anyone else .
the main sociodemographic and clinical characteristics of the participants are presented in detail in table 1 .
also , 52 carers with ages ranging from 21 to 80 years ( mean = 58.9 ; sd = 15.02 ) were interviewed .
the majority were male ( 51.9% ) , married ( 76.9% ) , a primary carer ( 94.2% ) , and patient 's partner ( 50% ) .
the main sociodemographic characteristics of the carers are presented in table 2 . according to the global results of the applied instruments ( table 3 ) ,
the majority of the patients had cognitive deficits in the evaluation with the mmse ( 52% ) and in the clock draw test ( 66.7% ) .
they also had high levels of depression ( gds , 61.3% ) and anxiety ( zas , 81.3% ) .
as far as the degree of functionality is concerned , most had moderate dependence on basic activities of daily living ( badl ) ( bi , 49.3% ) and some level of dependence on instrumental activities of daily living ( iadl ) ( li , 77.3% ) . according to the identified needs of the patients , the results of the cane on the evaluator 's perspective ( table 4 )
show that the main met needs are related to physical health ( 93.3% ) , memory ( 81.3% ) , psychological distress ( 72% ) , information ( 70.7% ) , household skills ( 65.3% ) , eyesight / hearing ( 62.7% ) , and food ( 58.7% ) .
the majority of unmet needs were found in the domain of daytime activities ( 40% ) , social benefits ( 13.3% ) , company ( 10.7% ) , psychological distress ( 9.3% ) , and continence sphincter ( 8% ) .
none of the participants had unmet needs for caring for others , abuse / neglect and alcohol abuse . also regarding the abuse / neglect ,
no participant registered any needs . concerning the carers ' needs , on the evaluator 's perspective
, the results show that 45.3% had met needs and 6.7% unmet needs for psychological distress ; another 21.3% had met needs for information .
since the most common diagnoses were depression and dementia ( which together represented 65.3% of the sample ) , some analyses were carried out to identify possible associations between these diagnoses and other sociodemographic and clinical variables .
those analyses were carried using chi - square ( x
) and point biserial correlation coefficient ( r
pb ) .
the results indicated a significant positive correlation between the medical diagnosis of dementia and depression and global needs ( met and unmet ) identified by cane , from the perspective of carers , r
pb = .42 , p < .05 , staff , r
pb = .47 , p < .01 , and of the evaluator , r
pb = .46 , p < .01 .
these findings reveal that a high level of global needs is associated with dementia diagnoses , while a slightly lower level of those same global needs is associated with depression .
the main unmet needs found , on the evaluator 's perspective , were daytime activities , social benefits , company , and psychological distress . in the present study
it was found that , in relation to daytime activities and benefits , the number of unmet needs is higher than those found in other studies [ 11 , 28 , 29 ] . in this view , it appears to be related to the fact that in portugal there is an inadequate social network to address social problems and needs of older people with dementia or other mental health problems .
the present portuguese policies fall well short of the practice in other european countries , particularly in northern europe .
moreover , in this sample , most patients lived in poor rural areas ( 74.7% ) , in a peripheral region of northern portugal , belonging to a very low socioeconomic class ( 94.7% ) , in contrast to the cited studies , where most patients were from urban or suburban areas [ 1 , 8 , 11 ] . in line with this , in the present study , it appears that the majority of the elderly ( 96% ) had low education and lived alone or with a partner , of similar age and level of education . in most cases ,
taking into account the low level of education , the poor rural areas where they live , and the family 's typology ( with only one or two elderly members ) , many of these people reported the lack of company as a significant problem . also due to the lack of knowledge of rights and social benefits ,
the results of the cane from the patients ' perspective showed a lower level of unmet needs in daytime activities ( 12% ) when compared to the evaluator ' s perspective ( 40% ) . on the other hand
this highlights what has been reported in the literature regarding the management of care for patients with dementia , since the importance of systematically assessing needs and planning coordinated management of interdisciplinary care has been recognized .
the importance is also assumed of ensuring a coverage that not only takes into account physical and environmental , but also psychological and social needs .
regarding the psychological distress of the patients , the present results are in line with other studies in terms of global needs ( met and unmet ) [ 1 , 8 , 11 , 28 , 29 ] , and the level of unmet needs is lower than those reported by these studies .
this is probably related to the fact that in the present study a significant percentage of patients ( 26.7% ) were psychiatric inpatients and 73.3% were psychiatric outpatients , in contrast to the majority of the referred studies [ 1 , 8 , 28 , 29 ] , where participants were evaluated mostly in the community or in an outpatient setting .
study , where the level of unmet needs was lower than the previous studies . analyzing these results in relation to the dementia patients
, it was found that the majority of unmet needs in daytime activities , social benefits , company , and psychological distress occurs in these participants , and the same is true for global needs ( met and unmet ) . on the other hand , regarding functionality , the results show a significant negative correlation between the medical diagnosis of dementia and depression and the total scores obtained in barthel , r
pb = .37 , p = .009 , and lawton indexes , r
pb = .49 , p < .001 , suggesting that low total scores in these two indexes are associated with dementia diagnosis , while slightly higher total scores are associated with depression diagnosis .
these findings reveal that these patients present a wide range of needs in physical , psychological , and social areas that require great physical and psychological availability and good preparation by carers .
this suggests that carers of patients with dementia are exposed to a greater demand , which can lead to higher levels of psychological distress .
with respect to the two items evaluated on the carers ' needs , the majority had met or unmet needs in the domain of psychological distress , while in terms of information needs , this percentage is lower .
although there were no significant correlations between the diagnosis of dementia and the carers ' psychological distress ( p = .566 ) , the high level of 59.1% of carers of the elderly with dementia , with global needs ( met and unmet ) in terms of psychological distress , is in line with the results obtained in most studies that suggest the existence of a high level of psychological distress in carers of patients with dementia , when compared to carers of patients with other chronic diseases [ 3033 ] . in relation to the information and training needs of carers of elderly people with dementia
, there is only a marginally significant association between the presence of these needs and the diagnosis of dementia , x
( 2 ) = 5.82 , p = .055 , verifying that , in this case , there is a tendency 41% of carers of elderly people with dementia registering global information needs .
these data are also coherent with other studies that indicate that a high number of carers of people with dementia have information needs . in this regard , other authors state
that in dementia lack of information may be a reason to use the health service , since many families surveyed do not understand executive deficits the meaning of an apraxia or delusional symptomatology .
this study shows a large deficit at the level of daytime activities associated with the progressive worsening of cognitive and functional deterioration in older people , resulting in the loss of levels of autonomy and the capability to satisfy their own needs .
it also reveals a high prevalence of dementia in the elderly associated with a wide range of needs related to memory , personal safety , satisfying basic and instrumental daily living activities , and psychological distress ( in both the elderly and the caregivers ) .
the high overall number of needs of the elderly with dementia and the high level of psychological distress of their carers highlight the importance of taking into account the suffering of carers and the need to provide supportive interventions to maintain their emotional well being and enable them to provide high quality care . despite the attention paid to the role of families in the care of patients with dementia
, carers still express low levels of knowledge about the disease and high levels of psychological distress . in this sense ,
much more must be done to improve information on the disease , training in appropriate skills for cognitive disorders and behavioural management , and possible psychological support .
the results also suggest the need to structure activities and interventions , maximizing the potential of each person , encouraging abilities , and preventing progressive deterioration of elderly people 's skills in order to improve their independence and quality of life . | pubmed |
diabetes type 1 is a chronic autoimmune disease that is characterized by the destruction of insulin - producing cells .
it has been shown that this disorder involves failure in immune regulation [ 1 , 2 ] .
nod mice and patients with type 1 diabetes have deficiencies in at least two t - cell populations with regulatory properties : nkt and cd4cd25 [ 35 ] .
human cd4cd25 regulatory t cells , that are characterized by high expression of cd25 molecule - comprise 510% of peripheral cd4 t cells [ 6 , 7 ] and are characterized by the upregulation of the il-2receptor alfa - chain ( cd25 ) and expression of the transcription factor foxp3 [ 8 , 9 ] .
some data suggest that regulatory t cells are most effective in preventing priming of naive cells .
the receptor that homes to lymph nodes is cd62l molecule ( l - selectin ) .
lower expression of cd62l was observed on cd3 lymphocytes from diabetic type 1 patients in comparison to their healthy counterparts .
in addition , the low percentage of cd4cd25cd62l and their poor efficacy in preventing autoimmunity was observed in nod mouse [ 1215 ] .
another surface molecule which seems to be important for regulatory t cells is the tnf receptor type 2 ( tnfr2 ) .
it was also shown that exposure to tnf enhanced the percentage of tregs expressing tnfr2 and downmodulated their suppressive activity at the same time .
chronic inflammation present in autoimmune environment may impair the number and/or function of tregs , which then are not able to prevent the activity of inflammatory cells .
as inflammation proceeds , the risk for vascular complications increases [ 18 , 19 ] . here , we demonstrate that patients with type 1 diabetes have lower percentage of peripheral blood regulatory t cells with cd62l expression and higher percentage of regulatory t cells expressing tnfr2 than healthy individuals .
we propose that these differences may be associated with inflammatory conditions that are present in patients with type 1 diabetes .
35 patients aged 15.5 ( 3.2 ) years with long - standing diabetes type 1 and 20 age - matched ( 19.8 1.2 years ) healthy individuals had fresh blood samples collected for analysis .
the patients were recruited from the diabetic department , clinic of pediatrics , hematology , oncology and endocrinology , medical university of gdask .
a blood glucose level was taken at the time of sampling along with biochemical measurement of renal function , lipid status , crp , and glycosylated hemoglobin ( hba1c ) . at each examination ,
the study followed the principles of the declaration of helsinki and was approved by the ethics committee of the medical university of gdask .
blood samples ( 50 l ) were stained with anti - cd4 ( igg1 , mouse pe / cy5 , clone rpa - t4 , biolegend , usa ) , anti - cd25 ( igg1 , mouse fitc , clone bc96 , biolegend , usa ) , anti - tnfr2 ( igg2a mouse pe , clone : 22235 , r&d systems inc , usa ) , and anti - cd62l ( igg1 , mouse apc , clone dreg-56 , biolegend , usa ) human antibodies . for each set ,
appropriate isotypic control was done . after 30-minute incubation in the dark at a room temperature , probes were fixed using immunoprep reagents ( immunotech , usa ) with q - prep immunology workstation ( coulter , usa ) .
expression of cell surface and intracellular markers was assessed using flow cytometry ( lsrii , becton dickinson , usa ) after gating on live cells determined by scatter characteristics .
the expression of cd62l in the cd4cd25cd62l as well as expression of tnfr2 in the cd4cd25tnfr2gates were quantified by determining mean fluorescent intensity ( mfi ) .
figure 1 shows gating strategy used for analysis of regulatory t - cell subsets .
serum level of tnf was measured by immunoenzymatic elisa method ( quantikine high sensitivity human by r&d systems inc , usa ) according to the manufacturer protocol .
all statistical analyses were performed using statistica 8.0 ( statsoft , inc usa ) .
the differences between the groups were calculated with the nonparametric u - mann whitney tests .
multiple regression analysis was performed to determine if cd4cd25 t cell level depends on age and disease duration in diabetic group .
the multiple regression analysis showed no association between the peripheral blood level of cd4cd25 regulatory t cells and age as well as disease duration in diabetic group ( = [ 0.04 ] and [ 0.37 ] , resp .
children with type 1 diabetes were characterized by lower number and percentage of the cd4cd25 t cells ( table 2 , p = .00084 , p = .00026 ) , lower number and percentage of the cd4cd25cd62l ( table 2 , p = .00012 , p = .0000 ) than their healthy counterparts . when numbers of the cd4cd25tnfr2 t cells were compared , the opposite effect was revealed .
tregs expressing tnfr2 were more frequent in dm1 group ; however , this was true only when the percentage of cells was taken into account ( table 2 , p = .0000 ) .
as to the expression of cd62l and tnfr2 in cd4cd25cd62l and cd4cd25tnfr2 cells , respectively , flow cytometric analysis indicated that there was a significant difference in the mfi of these molecules between analyzed groups .
the expression of cd62l was higher in control group ( figure 2 , p = .0001 ) , while the expression of tnfr2 was higher in dm1 group ( figure 2 , p = .0004 ) . in dm1 group ,
the association analysis correlating hba1c and crp levels versus the cd4cd25 and their subpopulations frequency was performed ( figures 3 and 4 ) . in the study group ,
the level of hba1c was in significant relation with the frequency of cd4cd25 ( r = [ 0.3 ] ; p < .05 ) cd4cd25cd62l ( r = [ 0.33 ] ; p < .05 ) as well as cd4cd25tnfr2(r = 0.46 ; p < .05 ) .
the significantly negative correlation was also found between crp level and the frequency of cd4cd25 ( r = [ 0.69 ] ; p < .05 ) as well as cd4cd25cd62l ( r = [ 0.064 ] ; p < .05 ) .
we then studied the association between serum level of tnf and the percentage of peripheral blood regulatory t cells in analyzed dm1 subjects .
we found that diabetic type 1 children with higher percentage of cd4cd25tnfr2 cells among peripheral blood cd4cd25 had higher serum level of tnf ( figure 5 , r = 0.53 ; p < .05 ) .
when analyzing cd4cd25 and cd4cd25cd62l subpopulations , we did not find any association between frequency of these cells and tnf serum level .
some authors have previously suggested that patients with type 1 diabetes have lower frequency of regulatory t cells in peripheral blood [ 5 , 21 ] .
our work clearly revealed that children with type 1 diabetes are characterized by lower percentage and absolute number of cd4cd25 regulatory t cells as compared with age - matched healthy individuals .
these quantitative defects may be caused by the chronic inflammation , which is observed in diabetic type 1 patients [ 18 , 19 , 22 ] and was observed in our study group .
the analyzed patients had high serum level of crp and detectable level of tnf , which are indicators of chronic inflammatory response [ 18 , 19 , 22 ] .
the strong correlation was observed in our study group ; patients with lower crp level had higher percentage of cd4cd25 cells among peripheral blood lymphocytes than patients with higher crp level .
some data concerning regulatory t cells have shown that these cells are susceptible to the effects mediated by the proinflammatory cytokine tnf , which may impair their activity through tnfr2 signalization .our results are consistent with the findings of valencia et al .
, who demonstrated that cd4cd25 tregs from patients with active ra contained greater percentage of tnfr2 cells compared with healthy controls .
our studies gave similar results showing that the cd4cd25tnfr2 t cells from dm1 patients had higher expression of tnfr2 than cells from the control group .
moreover , our studies revealed the correlation between percentage of cd4cd25tnfr2 lymphocytes and serum level of hba1c as well as crp .
patients with poor metabolic control and higher crp level had higher percentage of tregs carrying tnfr2 .
these patients also produced more tnf than those with lower percentage of regulatory t cells expressing tnfr2 .
the observed greater cd4cd25tnfr2 frequency in dm1 patients may reflect the greater sensitivity of this cell subset to inflammatory conditions and the action of tnf .
in view of the fact that in case of diabetes only subpopulation of tregs that carries cd62l has high suppressive activity [ 13 , 15 ] , we can suspect that the lower percentage of cd4cd25cd62lcells among peripheral blood tregs as well as the expression of cd62l on cd62l tregs in dm1 group may be associated with defect in the homing capabilities of this cell population , as cd62l is responsible for migration of tregs to secondary lymphoid tissues .
in addition , when analyzing cd4cd25cd62l subset , we found that patients with lower percentage of these cells had higher serum crp level , in which elevated level may reflect an inflammatory state .
they also had higher hba1c level which is an indicator of metabolic control in diabetic patients .
higher hba1c is associated with higher serum tnf level [ 26 , 27 ] , so more intense inflammatory response .
the lower numbers of cd62l treg subpopulation in type 1 diabetic patients give weight to the importance of regulatory t - cell migration to secondary lymphoid tissues in order to control activity of inflammatory cells .
the inflammatory conditions seen in patients with type 1 diabetes may modulate treg subsets , such that they are not able to control inflammation .
further studies are needed to determine the suppressive activity of these cells in order to see if their function is disrupted . | pubmed |
is that they arise from the dental lamina or basal cells of the oral epithelium , or from cells that differentiated to mimic the ameloblast .
owing to modern radiology , the early detection and monitoring of such invasive tumors are now readily possible , acknowledging their tendencies for recurrence and malignant transformation . in the current report we present a multi - recurrent case of ameloblastoma discussing the potential causes of the recurrence and available treatment options , recognizing the rarity of reported cases in the literature and lack of unanimous treatment guidelines .
a fifty - six year - old asian female , known case of multi - recurrent ameloblastoma , with a long history of multiple surgeries reported to the department of plastic and reconstructive surgery of henri mondor hospital , paris . back in 1986
, she has been referred by her dentist upon finding a suspicious lesion on her panoramic radiograph and with a chief complaint of a non - tender swelling in that region to the piti - salptrire hospital where she underwent a hemimandibulectomy , as the first surgical intervention .
her second presentation was in 2005 for the same reason , for which she underwent her second surgical procedure in a different hospital .
the patient was referred to our department for the first time with a diagnosis of recurrent left maxillary ameloblastoma with orbital invasion , associated with lytic bony lesions of the zygomatic arch , the anterior wall of the maxillary sinus and the floor of the orbit .
she underwent resection of the tumor that was attached to the orbital fat and anterior wall of the maxillary sinus .
histopathological examination revealed a unicystic ameloblastoma with positive surgical margins , and the left infra - orbital nerve was of normal hitology .
a follow - up mri done 3 weeks post - operatively demonstrating an almost complete resection of the left maxillary lesion and persistence of small incidental tissues in the posteromedial wall of the left infra - temporal fossa .
a repeated mri confirmed the progression of the disease , and accordingly she was scheduled for another surgical intervention .
the lesion was formed by islands of odontogenic epithelium , limited by a palisading border with reverse polarization .
although surgical margins were negative , they were only located 1 mm from the lesion .
all the subsequent follow - up imaging modalities substantiated a complete surgical resection of the tumor , with no evidence of recurrence . in 2015 , the patient s mri demonstrated a heterogeneous mass posterior to the left eye , pushing the left medial rectus muscle , suggestive of either a recurrent or a progressive disease .
a ct facial bone revealed a homogeneous nodular tissue formation on the external wall of the left eye measuring 32 mm in the largest diameter , pushing against the greater wing of the sphenoid bone with no adjacent bone remodeling .
accordingly , the patient underwent an excision of the left retro - orbital ameloblastoma ( fig . 1 , fig .
2 ) . using hematoxylin - eosin - saffaron stains , the histopathology corroborated the diagnosis of a recurrent cystic ameloblastoma with positive surgical margins .
the post - operative period was uneventful and her succeeding follow - ups confirmed no evidence of recurrence or malignant transformation .
ameloblastomas are histologically benign , locally invasive odontogenic tumors . accounting for 1% of all head and neck tumors , and 11% of odontogenic tumors ,
they were first recognized by cusack in 1827 , and named in 1930 by ivy and churchill .
they are histopathologically divided into 6 subtypes : follicular , plexiform , acanthomatous , basal , unicystic and desmoplastic ameloblastomas .
mixed pathological patterns are not uncommon , and the lesion is usually classified according to the predominant type .
amelobastomas are more common in adults than in children , with the average age being 2040 years .
they have no sex or race proclivity , although some reports allege an increased rate in the asian and black population .
ameloblastomas arise more frequently in the mandible 80% , especially in the area of the molar and the ascending ramus , and in the maxilla 20% . due to their aggressive behavior
, several interventions have been proposed in the literature to prevent their local recurrence , invasion to adjacent structures and transformation to malignancy .
ameloblastomas are managed conservatively by enucleation with bone curettage , or radically by surgery with segmental or marginal resection .
advancement in radiotherapy resulted in cases of ameloblastoma responding to them , and respectively , several articles reported their success , , , .
the pathogenesis of ameloblastoma had not been clear until recently when research groups published their results postulating the genes involved , , .
the braf protein in the mitogen - activated protein kinase pathway ( mapk ) has been commonly found to be mutated , rendering the pathway constitutively active .
this is also the most common activating mutation found in cancers such as colorectal , thyroid and melanoma .
another gene discovered to play a role in ameloblastoma is the hedgehog pathway gene , however it is less commonly found than mapk , .
several target therapies to mutated genes are currently in clinical trial , and some have shown to inhibit some pathways in vitro or vivo , .
therefore , since mapk is the commonest pathway involved , it should be carefully studied as a target therapy for ameloblastoma . concerning the presented case , due to the proximity of the lesion to vital structure and the level of local invasion
, sufficient margins were not conceivably achieved . with reported recurrence rates ranging as high as 92% with conservative treatment , and 1425% with radial approach
, we opted for monitoring the patient clinically with regular follow - ups and ct scans .
however , deliberating the risk of malignant transformation , the addition of an adjuvant radio - therapeutic treatment is possible in case local control could not be obtained .
malignant ameloblastoma was further categorized into two types : metastasizing ameloblastoma and ameloblastic carcinoma ( ac ) .
metastasizing ameloblastoma was defined as benign ameloblastoma histologically with metastatic spread to distant sites , while the latter demonstrated malignant histology and furthermore subdivided into : primary and secondary types .
primary ac arises de novo , while secondary ac result from malignant transformation of a primary lesion after repeated postsurgical recurrences .
this case presents our experience with a multi - recurrent unicystic ameloblastoma that until present revealed no signs of malignant transformation , yet poses a surgical predicament . in this report
we aim to support the critical significance of regular follow - ups of patients with ameloblastoma , in an attempt to minimize the risks of local recurrence and malignant transformation .
i affirm that we have no financial affiliation ( e.g. , employment , direct payment , stock holdings , retainers , consultantships , patent licensing arrangements or honoraria ) , or involvement with any commercial organization with direct financial interest in the subject or materials discussed in this manuscript , nor have any such arrangements existed in the past three years .
patient in the study design has been informed and aware about the study and that her intreoperative images will be included .
a signed release from the patient showing informed consent and permission to publish was obtained .
her identity , nevertheless , can not be recognized from the case history and images . | pubmed |
A material is brittle if, when subjected to stress, it breaks with little elastic deformation and without significant plastic deformation. Brittle materials absorb relatively little energy prior to fracture, even those of high strength. Breaking is often accompanied by a snapping sound. Brittle materials include most ceramics and glasses which do not deform plastically and some polymers, such as PMMA and polystyrene. Many steels become brittle at low temperatures see ductile-brittle transition temperature, depending on their composition and processing.
When used in materials science, it is generally applied to materials that fail when there is little or no plastic deformation before failure. One proof is to match the broken halves, which should fit exactly since no plastic deformation has occurred.
When a material has reached the limit of its strength, it usually has the option of either deformation or fracture. A naturally malleable metal can be made stronger by impeding the mechanisms of plastic deformation reducing grain size, precipitation hardening, work hardening, etc., but if this is taken to an extreme, fracture becomes the more likely outcome, and the material can become brittle. Improving material toughness is, therefore, a balancing act.
Toughening
This principle generalizes to other classes of material. Naturally brittle materials, such as glass, are not difficult to toughen effectively. Most such techniques involve one of two mechanisms: to deflect or absorb the tip of a propagating crack or to create carefully controlled residual stresses so that cracks from certain predictable sources will be forced closed. The first principle is used in laminated glass where two sheets of glass are separated by an interlayer of polyvinyl butyral. The polyvinyl butyral, as a viscoelastic polymer, absorbs the growing crack. The second method is used in toughened glass and pre-stressed concrete. A demonstration of glass toughening is provided by Prince Rupert's Drop. Brittle polymers can be toughened by using metal particles to initiate crazes when a sample is stressed, a good example being high-impact polystyrene or HIPS. The least brittle structural ceramics are silicon carbide mainly by virtue of its high strength and transformation-toughened zirconia.
A different philosophy is used in composite materials, where brittle glass fibers, for example, are embedded in a ductile matrix such as polyester resin. When strained, cracks are formed at the glassmatrix interface, but so many are formed that much energy is absorbed and the material is thereby toughened. The same principle is used in creating metal matrix composites.
Effect of pressure
Generally, the brittle strength of a material can be increased by pressure. This happens as an example in the brittle-ductile transition zone at an approximate depth of in the Earth's crust, at which rock becomes less likely to fracture, and more likely to deform ductilely see rheid.
Crack growth
Supersonic fracture is crack motion faster than the speed of sound in a brittle material. This phenomenon was first discovered by scientists from the Max Planck Institute for Metals Research in Stuttgart Markus J. Buehler and Huajian Gao and IBM Almaden Research Center in San Jose, California Farid F. Abraham.
See also
Izod impact strength test
Charpy impact test
Fractography
Forensic engineering
Ductility
Strengthening mechanisms of materials
References
Category:Continuum mechanics
Category:Materials science | wikipedia |
Batman Shaman's World
A/N : This is one of the numerous Plot Bunnies mentionned in my biography...number 6, one of the early one that grew to become an unruly teenager but is now stuck there. Characters are not mine, I'm not making money out of them, yadda yadda yadda. It did went threw a spell checker but well...English isn't my mother language and some of those expression may be confusing. Drop me a line if you want to rant about it...I'm probably one of the few authors that is gonna ask for flames ! I'm a closet masochist I believe.
Pairing: Hint of Tim/Kon, Tim/Dick and Tim/Kon/Dick if you squint a little
The small tabby cat prowled in between the desk, each student eagerly waiting and praying for the feline to jump on his or her desk. All but the black haired serious looking kid that was uselessly praying for the creature to ignore him although he knew it was worthless. A part of his mind did a quick mental survey of the occupant of the classes and marked those that would most probably be choose. He was right for the three of them, including his best friend Bernard who was grinning in delight while the small beast rubbed against his hand, purring. The cat gave him a final head butt before smoothly jumping to the next desk. The desk of one Timothy Drake.
- Mister Drake, congratula...
- No.
The remaining of the over enthusiasm teacher sentence, proud to have so much mage potential in her class, was drowned by the boy curt reply. Shocked, the teacher opened her mouth to reprimand the boy but he kept talking in a cold voice that was unusual for the quiet boy...especially since he seemed to talk to the cat
- I won't be staying.
- Meow.
The cat answered, seemingly agreeing with him. The expression on the 16 years old student was so neutral that he could have been a statue...until you looked at his eyes. He pinched his lips and narrowed his eyes like he was trying to intimidate the small furry creature. After a few seconds where the tabby cat looked back peacefully, Drake fluently stood up while picking his backpack and, without looking at anyone, headed toward the exit where the other students waited. The cat jumped on his shoulder while he stood up and settled himself conformably. The mage student that had been escorting the feline – for it was obviously him that made the choosing – extended his arm for the creature to jump back to him but the tabby cat simply purred and rubbed it's nose on the young boy's throat. Frowning, the apprentice mage shooed rudely the others out, leading the way toward the gymnasium where a spirit walk was being organized for the potential mage wanna be.
There were around thirty people there, sited in circle. Not all of them would be able to join the spirit world for different reason but all of them had the potential. The ones already sited on the floor made room for the four new comers that arrived. They were the farthest class and the last to arrive. The cat jumped on the floor, asked for an ear scratch from Tim, who obliged, and trotted toward the Shaman who was pensively looking at the newcomers.
The three apprentices took their position in the south, east and west direction while the shaman, sited in the north, explained what a spirit walk was.
- Since this is your first time, I will take you into my spirit world. It is a plain. Each of you have his own world that'll you'll discover in time. Those of you that will be able to make it there will have to call a spirit guide. You don't choose your guide. He will choose you. Those of you that will make it will join me and we will discuss more there. In the worst case, you will fall asleep and wake up, remembering nothing...at the opposite, if you have enough potential and deemed worthy, you will meet your spirit guide. You won't have more than one unless, that is, your girlfriend has mage potential and really loves you or is your true soul mate. Now, settled down on the floor conformably...listen to my voice, close your eyes and relax...
All of the student had laid down and closed their eyes...except for one dark haired, blue eyed boy who crossed his legs, put his hands on his knees and, after suspiciously looking around him one last time, closed his eyes, cleared his mind and took one deep breath...before being propelled in the spirit world.
Tim looked around and blinked once. He wasn't in a plain at all. It was night, around midnight by the full moon position. He was on a rooftop of some skyscraper in a not identifiable city although...he could see Wayne Tower from there and the Titan Tower by the bridge and that building he and Nightwing had used for a rendezvous point in Bludhaven so...not one city but cities...his cities. He looked down at himself and let a small satisfied smirk show.
He was wearing his new costume, the one that had been waiting for him to grow up – graduate Arsenal would say – from Robin. Griffin, the new bat operative...or at least part of it. He had his black boots has well has his black pants with the dark red and orange ornate shin guard. He was also wearing his utility belt and his silver staff. What should have been a black plastron with a red v joining at his chest and ending in a line down to his navel was in fact a simple black blouse with light red marking on the sleeves. The red and black trench coat was also missing, replaced by a cape and hood also in black, orange and red itched at the bottom. All his clothes were still in reinforced Kevlar. He had his gloves but they were simple leather one with some padding to favours climbing.
Looking closer at the blouse, he was surprised to see that the red etchings on his arms were in fact the different martial arts and knowledge he had learned while, on the other arm, were the symbol of his friends – most in the vigilant community except for the poet feather he was sure represent Bernard. On his shoulders were the different Bat Member symbol along with Superman's S and Superboy slightly different shield...even a caducei to represent Leslie and he was pretty sure the stylized triangle who looked like a roof was Alfred. His Family. Tim was a bit saddened to not see any symbol that represented his father but he had made peace with his biological father rejection.
He also had a tail...that damn tail that he inherited from a run in with a sorcerer a few months ago and came back every full moon. But this transformation also augmented a hundred fold his sense of smell and hearing has well has his survival instinct...along with a few undesirable one. He would never stop hearing about the time he chased after a mouse during patrol. Passing his tongue on his teeth, he noted they were also Cat sharp and he didn't had to check to know that his ears were a lot more pointy than usual.
The wind picked up and played in his cape in a familiar way. Tim turned around, suddenly aware of someone else presence. In front of him was a fox. A large majestic red fox with piercing blue eyes was looking at him solemnly. His spirit guide. He nodded his head in deference to the being that returned the gesture. The two were savouring their silence and watching over their spirit world when a whoosh of air came down from the sky. Instinctively, Tim dived and rolled, coming up with his staff ready and a throwing star in his hands.
The thing was blue, red and gold and dived right on the Fox who crouched and wiggled his behind with what could only be described has a daring expression on his muzzle. The flying creature was a strange mix between what a mythological dragon would look like and a feline. The body was the size and shape of a large cat but was covered in scales and had a long forked tail. The head was on a neck of a few feet long, surmounted by a triangle shaped head with two small horns at the upper corners. The eyes, a vivid blue, were swirling around while smoke came out of his sharp looking mouth. The body was a dark red and blues. The gold came from the large leathery wing.
All this took only a split second to Griffin to analyse and, by the time he had a throwing star ready, the fox and the sort of dragon were rolling on the floor making vicious noise. He was going to jump in the fray to protect his spirit guide when a black shape moved in the shadow. Ready to defend against this new threat, the youngest bat r still kept an eyes of the two fighters which is why, when the black and blue panther jumped from the shadow to jump on the now two cuddling creature he did not attack. Now that the black panther was out of the shadows, rubbing and cuddling the fox and dragon, he might add, he could see it wasn't completely black but had strikes of dark blue on it along with a few nasty scars. Come to think of it, so did the fox but its red fur hide most of them. In shock, Tim sat down on the roof.
- You two are Dick's and Kon's aren't you ?
The dragon disentangled himself from the other two and rubbed his scaly head against Tim's leg with a strange cackling purr. Absentmindedly scratching the dragon's head like he would a kitten, he asked:
- I thought the shaman said only soul mate – as in one - or...powerful lover...I suppose both of you qualifies.
The three spirits guides looked at each other in a way that made Griffin think there was more to it than that. But the creatures didn't see fit to explain to him. The dragon looked back at the other two and gave what was definitely a sexual come on before taking off into the air but still keeping low enough for anyone roof jumping to catch him. The other two took off after him gleefully, swift and lethal in the night that was their territory. Smiling, Griffin took off after them. They were catching up to the dragon...or he was letting them catch up...when the building suddenly disappeared and he felt himself fall and fall and fall.
He landed on a plain and rolled instinctively, his tail balancing his movement, his staff at the ready, willing to take down any threat. This was a highly populated plain in his opinion. There was the shaman and the three apprentice of course but along with them was fifteen of the thirty students, sixteen with him. Briefly, Tim wondered if the number were significant before feeling a shiver move threw him. Looking down he found that his clothes had changed to adapt to this new spirit world.
He was now wearing a tunic which reminded him of Jedi apprentice in Star Wars but without sleeves, in black and with a dark red belt on which was a few of his usual pouches of weapons and gizmos. He still had his black pants and cape along with his boots but they were now in simple leather. His arms were something else thought. His left biceps was covered in several different tattoo in a Celtic kind of way, once more each represented one of the techniques he had learned in his training to become Robin but, contrary to the previous armour where the arts were only the one he had mastered this time it also showed most of the technique he had learned to what could be considered a high level. His left upper arm was covered in entwined design and lines.
Tim frowned. This Shaman standard wasn't high if he had so many markings. The young vigilante kept examining his arms. The right arms had his different affiliation if he could read the signs correctly. The Bat Symbol, El's House of Krypton Insignia, the T of the Titan's and a few more obscure group which he was more or less part of...at least he wished they were obscure to the Shaman because he wasn't too sure how to explain why he had marking for a thief guild and Lady's Shiva mark on his arm. His left forearm had armguards in leather with Griffin red bat symbol variance along with the blue V of Nightwing and Kon El Shield under it in smaller. Tim frowned at his right forearm. There were two red crosses on the same line – blood red crosses –, above them was one yellow and below a green one. Three death...three death that were from his hands...Stephanie...Darla...death because of him...that goon he never had learned his name... killed by his bare hand and for which no one had ever knew about outside maybe the bats...the last cross, the green one, he couldn't figure out who it was for. Green mean renewal, rebirth...how could this be associated to death? Shrugging the mystery away for later and placing his clothes has to hide has much markings has possible, Tim observed the others.
The only other person with a cape was the Shaman and only one or two of the students along with the apprentices had the long tunic with a few markings here and there. The only one who had more than three designs on its left arm was the shaman that had maybe nine or ten. The other were dressed in plain colour t-shirt and brown leather pants. Their left forearm had, for the most part, some shield that most probably represented their ancestor and more than a few had a white circle around their left wrist... including one of the apprentice. And none of them had weapons.
With a flick of the wrist, Tim made his staff collapse and slipped it in his clothes. He went to sit with the others who were chatting and waited for the shaman to call them to order. But the priest only stayed there, his eyes closed with a peaceful smile and slowly silent felt. Not because of some sign or anything but because behind the Shaman, out of thin air, started appearing animals. Spirits Guides.
When the Shaman opened his eyes, there were thirteen different creatures sited patiently behind him. Including a preening blue, red and gold dragon like being and a black panther who was mischievously looking around for a prank to play. Tim had seen glimpse of the red fox hidden behind the Shaman. He smiled at the awed looking student and the patiently waiting apprentices.
- Congratulation everyone. You made it into the spirit world. Now, even if none of those guardians behind me is yours, you have showed that you possess enough potential to be trained in at least the basic art. But first, let me explain about what you see here and the way you are dressed.
The shaman, whose eyes seemed far away up till now, suddenly became aware of his surrounding and his gaze immediately met the calm blue steady gaze of a cape wrapped young boy. The Shaman, taking in his outfit and the few design he could make out, blinked in surprise but didn't made any comments.
- Now, the shield or drawing all of you have on your left forearm is your blazon, your identification. Those of you that are dressed in tunic have already started seriously studying one art or another. It also mean that at least one teacher has taken you under his tutelage. The marking on your left arms are the courses you are studying.
One of the jock dressed in a tunic showed proudly the drawing that was obviously meant to represent football. The Shaman smiled gently to the well-built student before continuing his speech.
- Some of you wear a red cross on you right forearm. This symbol represents someone who was dear to you and died in circumstances where you feel responsible. That doesn't mean that you are...simply how you feel...I suggest you meditate on those circumstances or try to communicate with his or her spirit when you have the chance.
One or two of the student hang their head, looking pensively at the red cross-itched in their skin. The Shaman had seen a flash of green on the mysterious youth. He showed his own right arms to everyone, revealing a red cross and a green one:
- There are different colour that may appear on your arm...the green one mean that I have already died or been severely injured to protect someone. Is there anyone who has question about his marking?
One of the girl asked about the blazon and it's meaning and another one wanted to know what the white line around her left wrist meant. The Shaman gave her a small smile before doing a brief check of who had and hadn't the white line:
- It defines your purity of body.
A few looked at him in puzzlement until blushes started spreading and some attempted to cover their left wrist. Letting your classmate know you were a virgin wasn't exactly a smart move. Tim didn't have to worry about this part, what he was more worried about was...
- Sir? Why does Tim has a cape like you do and we don't?
- What he was worried about was Bernard curiosity. The Shaman looked at him and gave him an inscrutable look.
- Why do you think you have a cape and the others don't?
- I don't know sir.
He blinked innocently, shifting, apparently nervous. He really didn't know. There were too many possible answers to that question. The Shaman kept staring at him but, used to stare down the Bat, he had no problem to keep the charade of innocent student. The answer from the shaman came soft, like he knew no one would believe him.
- The cape mean that one of your teacher consider you have learned everything he had to teach.
Tim didn't have to fake the shocked expression...at least passed the automatic reflex to keep said expression neutral. One of his teachers? None of his teacher had ever show any indication that he had learned everything from them and he himself never had thought to be a master in any of the art he had studied, be it martial or not. One of the other students snorted sarcastically:
- Wow...a master geek.
- That's not exactly true. It mean one of his teacher considers him strong enough to progress to the master level. Not that he has anything more to learn.
Came a sarcastic voice from behind the Shaman. Everyone turned toward the voice and, out of the mist, came a black haired blue-eyed well-muscled boy of about sixteen years old. He was wearing black boots and pants has well has yellow armguard and nothing else beside a silver loop in his right ear. His hair, cut short, was spiked on his head and his eyes had a deepness to them that belittle his apparent age but it was his body that everyone looked at. His torso and arms were completely covered in scars, some fresh, some old, long and small, clean cut or ragged and scarred over, some still blood red where you could see muscle and bones, others too old to be on such a young boy. The Shaman looked at him and gasped in the suddenly shocked silent:
- By the gods child, who did this to you?
The child in question looked down at himself like he hadn't remarked the atrocity his body was before smirking ironically:
- Trust me old men, you don't want to know how my death happened ... or maybe you would be interested to see how I did die...
- No.
The strong voice came from the opposite direction and everyone turned to stare at Tim who had an unusual hard expression on his face and was glaring at the boy. The mysterious boy smirked and taunted:
- Scared wuss?
One of the students, the same who made the master geek comment, snorted once more and said.
- Course a geek like him would be scare...
While he was talking, showing his own muscle proudly, the mist boy moved forward toward him, petting a dark feline while passing the spirit guides still cluttered behind the Shaman.
- Would YOU like to know?
Asked the ghost with an innocent smile. The Jock had the presence of mind to look at the Shaman to ask for permission first who frowned thoughtfully.
- It is your choice but be warned that gift from spirits are often double-edged sword.
- Don't.
Was the soft strong voiced negation but when the Jock turned to sneer once more to the geek, Tim was looking at the ghost, glaring to be more accurate, and before the mindless student could comment, he felt a strong hand on his head and the voice of the ghost that wasn't reassuring at all:
- Don't worry shrimp.
The others looked on while the Jock suddenly seemed to enter a trance. His face became paler than the ghost and he immediately broke in a sweat all over his body. His hands tried to move but they seemed to be restrained. His mouth opened several time, like a scream wanted to erupt from him but couldn't. Before the Shaman, who was looking worried by the second, could ask the ghost to stop, the mysterious boy stepped back and "big mouth" collapsed in an ungraceful heap, breathing hard and shivering uncontrollably. The ghost took a step back and smirked toward Tim.
- Stop scowling shorty, I stopped after the first time I lost consciousness and I dimmed most of it...nothing worst than a few broken bones...
- ...first time? ...
Asked a groggy voice from the ground.
- Course. You can't die from only a few scratches...took that nut a few days to finish the job...
- Stop it.
Cut an irritated voice. The ghost simply smiled innocently toward Tim who gave him one of the Look. Before the two could start bickering, the shaman voice rose:
- Why are you here troubled spirit?
The "Troubled Spirit " gave him a slightly bemused look before pointing toward Tim.
- I'm here for the shrimp.
- Why would a warrior like you be interested in a geeky freak?
Rasped the still bend over student. In one fast sweep, the warrior swiped the legs from under the young man who crashed hard on the floor.
- It's not nice to bad mouth people. You don't have the right to call him name.
The Jock looked at him in disbelieves from the floor and the ghost smirked in answer. The boy turned toward the Shaman, all sweetness and light again.
- Has for your answer...I'm here to vouch for the geeky freak.
- May I ask what is your connection to him ?
- I'm his older brother.
- You are one of the red crosses...
The Shaman nodded thoughtfully, like he had solved a puzzle but the ghost shook his head:
- Those two are not me...we would need to actually met for that...Speaking of meeting, give Him that and tell Him to stop living in the past...and tell his girl she has my benediction.
And the ghost, a peculiar expression playing on his face, threw his silver earring to Tim. But the throw was off and the boy would need to move one of his hidden arms to catch the jewel. In a split second, Tim made his decision – the one the ghost knew he would do - and his right arm shot out of hiding, catching the silver earring in a precise move before bringing his arm back to the safe shadows of his cape.
But it wasn't fast enough. Wasn't possible to be fast enough to prevent everyone – and particularly the shaman – from seeing the yellow cross over the two reds and the green one. Fortunately, most of the student focused on the green one but the three apprentices and the Shaman expression were comically frozen in shock. The yellow cross, sign that he had killed by choice...a sign that had to be vouched by a death spirit. Tim glared silently to the ghost who bowed low in an ironic answer before turning toward the Shaman.
- Like I was saying, I'm here to vouch for the boy. He's a good guy for a freak. Questions?
- Why is he your brother if you never met?
Asked one of the students, apparently taking the spirit at face value. The dark haired boy turned toward the blonde one who had spoken and was sited beside Tim. The spirit cocked his head to the side and looked at Bernard so intently that the blond started squirming.
- Ask him that after the spirit walks...
The blond snorted, knowing full well that his now even more mysterious friend wouldn't give him a straight answer and evade any question he would ask. The spirit smirked.
- You are a good friend of his...A word of advice than, _friend_, don't get too close.
- What do you think I have been trying to tell him for years?
Answered the caped young with a slightly annoyed expression. The ghost grinned and suddenly looked in the distance. Has he spoke, his body had been slowly turning into thinner mist.
- Huh oh! Got to go kiddo! Pass Him the message...and next time big bro remembers you're too young tell him about your age difference with your ex, Spike.
- Go to hell.
- Already been there...you want the window seat?
- No thank you...I want to be able to stretch my legs.
- Which legs shorty ?!?
The ghost departure was replaced by a surprised silence. A soft sigh broke it.
- My apologies for my brother behaviour Shaman. He always has been strong headed and impulsive.
- That is not the first time you have met him?
- Not exactly...
The Shaman raised a questioning eyebrow but Tim remained silence. Curious, the leader insisted:
- Where did you met?
- I saw him once or twice when I was in trouble...in my dreams.
- He must have had a great influence in your life than...
- Yes.
Was the simple answer while Tim thought of the almost constant presence of the ghost in their family. Seeing no more development forthcoming of the taciturn young, the shaman went back to his main task. After all, they were here to dispatch spirit guide and while this one was quite intriguing, he would have time later to ask more question. After all, the boy had a spirit give his word that he wasn't evil...although said spirit was disturbingly familiar with violence. Pushing aside the questions in his mind, the Shaman made a move toward the spirits who had been patiently waiting behind him.
- Very well, the spirits will step forward one after the other. If you can tell me his or her name and it agree he is your spirit guide...
But before he could finish, a black panther had moved behind him and pulled playfully on the hood of his cape, wiggling and jumping around like a kitten. The dangerous feline gave a few more playful yip and jumps, the others spirit guide giving him a wide berth, when a dark red creature moved swiftly and butted hard the predator. The black panther rolled with the impact and came up, tongue lolling, welcoming this new playmate. The red fox growled fiercely at the panther and, while it was much smaller than the cat, the fox looked dangerous and seemed to have the playful cat rapidly cowed.
The fox growled once more, obviously not trusting the obedient look of his companion and swatted him. The panther ducked and went to lay further away from the breach in the student's circle, the fox following and cuddling with him. In an intimate gesture, the two licked each other coat for a few seconds before settling down to wait. The Shaman couldn't help noticing how the other spirit guide seemed to be weary and even a bit afraid of the two creatures.
- Well it seem that someone has his soul mate with him or her. Now, which spirit will start?
One after the other, ten spirits guide found their human counterpart, leaving the dragon and the two cuddling felines. The mythical creature moved forward, showing off his wings and impressive stature, sitting regally in the middle of the circle. The Shaman, who had never seen a mythical creature has a spirit guide, nonetheless asked the formal question:
- Does any of you recognise this guide?
The student stayed silent for a few minutes, the creature still preening and showing off his impressive musculature, winking at the prettiest girls and rumbling to some boys. The Shaman was about to ask once more when an amused voice rose from behind him.
- Stop flirting Kin'y, you're already taken.
Everyone turned toward the voice that came from behind the Shaman. A lonely figure, dressed in a black ankle length cape with dark blue itching and face hidden under a large hood stepped out of what looked like a mirror...a mirror that went to a dark city at night.
- Shaman, let go of the students and apprentice...I believe you may want an explanation...
While he spoke, the dragon went to twirl around his leg like a kitten. The large playful panther now sited regally beside the men while the fox remained where he was. The Shaman, obviously not an idiot, immediately released the tread that was connecting the mage wanna be to his spirit world and pushed his student out gently with a small but impressive show of spirit energy. The Shaman turned toward the only person remaining beside him and the stranger. The red fox rose and moved beside the caped youth, purring when the student scratched his head.
- Someone is going to explain why we all ended up represented has cats...
Grumbled the new comer while sitting down. The panther immediately jumped on his lap, both of them rolling playfully on the ground for a few seconds. The dragon settled himself between the two cats. The new comer removed his hood, revealing long dark black hair and deep blue eyes. His expression was has neutral has the remaining student before he smiled gently.
While my brother has mage potential, his talent will be better served elsewhere. This is why I ask you that you do not choose him for apprentice.
- First, who are you?
- I suppose Panther will do for now.
Answer the man with a cocky grin, petting the spirit guy that had his head on his lap and his body sprawled toward the dragon. The feline tail was twitching teasingly and occasionally hitting the winged creature that answered by batting at it like a kitten.
Tim and the Shaman were the last one to pull out of the vision quest. The Shaman looked at the powerful young man in front of him and awe, a sentiment that didn't diminish when he eerily tracked down the dark haired boy waiting silently along the wall of the gym without hesitation. The two smiled at each other softly and Shaman knew that the seemingly dorky teenager with his glasses was the powerful Dragon.
End file.
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