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T.U.F.F. Puppy | Thunder Dog / Snap Dad [1.09] | 4 | Ollie: [answering the phone] Diabolical Order of Mayhem. We deliver evil in 30 minutes or it's free.
Snaptrap: Hey, it's . I've fallen in love with a lady dog at the laundromat, and I'm resigning as the leader of D.O.O.M. Tell Larry I'll miss him least of all. out...forever. [hangs up]
Ollie: Hey, everyone. Snaptrap quit! Dibs on his stuff! | Snaptrap | That was hard. They were devastated. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Thunder Dog / Snap Dad [1.09] | 3 | Snaptrap: Are you guys mad about the money thing? Please don't be mad. I couldn't take it if you're mad.
Dudley & Kitty: We're not mad! | Snaptrap | Oh, boy, that's a relief. I'm not calling you liars, which has sounded a little mad. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Iron Mutt / The Wrong Stuff [1.10] | 6 | [After Dudley defeated Snaptrap while wearing the iron suit]
Wolf Spitzer: [showing up in the news van and steps out] for Petropolis News with live coverage of the super dog who foiled Snaptrap from whatever it was he was doing. Let's hear it for Iron Mutt!
Dudley: I'm not Iron Mutt. I'm just an ordinary average...
Women: [hugging him] We love you, Iron Mutt!
Dudley: Super, awesome hero named Iron Mutt! | Crowd | [chanting] Iron Mutt! Iron Mutt! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Iron Mutt / The Wrong Stuff [1.10] | 7 | Keswick: [washing the garbage off of Kitty with a hose] Kitty, I've got a very important question for you.
Kitty: You want to know how Dudley's getting all the credit for stopping Snaptrap when he clearly has no idea what he's doing?
Keswick: Actually, I was going to ask if you could give me Iron Mutt's autograph. It's for my mother. Her name's .
Dudley: [bursting through the walls] I meant to do that.
Keswick: It's Iron Mutt! [screams in a girlishly voice]
Dudley: You want to be my sidekick, you're gonna need a much cooler costume than that. | Kitty | I'm not your sidekick! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Forget Me Mutt / Mind Trap [1.11] | 2 | Kitty: [hearing Keswick dry heaving] Keswick, are you all right? | Keswick | [nauseous] Not really. I'm prone to motion sickness, [holds up a jar mayonnaise as his face turns green with envy] and that jar of warm mayonnaise I ate isn't helping. [dry heaves as his face turns purple] |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Forget Me Mutt / Mind Trap [1.11] | 3 | Chief: He's your partner! Do something, Agent Katswell!
Dudley: [recovering; acting as Kitty] Do what, Chief? Karate chop bad guys? [karate chops the ground] Act like I'm always right? Purr when the cute water delivery guy comes? [imitates Kitty's gestures] | Kitty | [defensively] Uh! I never do that! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Forget Me Mutt / Mind Trap [1.11] | 3 | Chief: What do we do now, Keswick?
Dudley: [recovering; acting as Keswick] I can assure you there are a number of options, none of which your p-p-puny minds can grasp. [Keswick grins at Kitty] Now if you'll excuse me, I'll get back to work on the Lady Keswick I've been building! | Keswick | How do you know about that?! [blatant] I mean, I'm not bu-bu-building a Lady . |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Forget Me Mutt / Mind Trap [1.11] | 5 | Kitty: Oh, no! Now we'll never figure out what's going on with Snaptrap!
Dudley: [recovers; acting as Snaptrap] It is I, Verminious Snaptrap!
[Kitty and Keswick groan in unison]
Chief: [in unison] Oh, brother. | Dudley | And now, to make my daring escape! [runs to the elevator] |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Forget Me Mutt / Mind Trap [1.11] | 4 | Dudley: Guys, are you okay?! Speak to me! It's !
Keswick, Chief, and Kitty: [all recovering, acting like Dudley; in unison] No, I'm Dudley!
Dudley: Wait for me! | Dudley, Kitty, Keswick and Chief | [as bugs fly into their noses; in unison] AH! BUG UP THE NOSE! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Forget Me Mutt / Mind Trap [1.11] | 10 | Keswick: Behold, my new high tech mind reading device. It allows whoever w-wears it to hear the thoughts of anyone close by.
[Kitty snatches it out of his hands and puts it on as she listens to the Chief's thoughts]
Chief: Okay, she's reading my mind. Don't think about how gross her cookies are. Don't think about how gross her cookies are.
Kitty: [suprised with anger] I knew it! You hate my cookies!
Dudley: Wow, Chief. Do you hate Christmas, too? Let's see what Mr. Critical thinks of me. [puts the helmet on his head]
Chief: [as Dudley picks his nose] Oh, man. Agent Puppy is a total slob.
Dudley: [hurt] You think I'm a slob?!
Keswick: [takes the helmet away] Stop. Clearly you lack the self esteem to w-w-wear this. Though that's not surprising. Recent psychological studies indicate that...
Chief: Oh, man. Put a sock in it, Dr. Boring. | Keswick | [fully hurt] Well, that stings. Fortunately, I'm too m-m-m-mature to resort to name calling. Now if you'll excuse me, [starts tearing up] Dr. Boring is going to perform a heart transplant. 'CAUSE MINE'S BROKEN! [walks away, sobbing, as Kitty and Dudley glare annoyingly at the Chief] |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Forget Me Mutt / Mind Trap [1.11] | 6 | Chief: I have exciting news! Fleaple magazine just named me one of the ten most eligible hostages in Petropolis. It says here, I'm worth a billion dollars in ransom. Who wants to celebrate?
Keswick: I'd comment but, Dr. Boring doesn't make house calls. [breaks into tears] Cry, weep, sob!
Kitty: You wouldn't want to celebrate with somebody who make gross cookies.
Dudley: Or a slob like me! That cut like a knife.
Chief: [over his mind] Okay, I get it. You're still upset about the whole "mind reading" thing. | Keswick | Sorry, Dr. Boring's not in right now, but please leave a message at the sound of the tone. [blows raspberry] |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Frisky Business / Hot Dog [1.12] | 8 | Wolf Spitzer: [shivering with his tail, all frozen] This is freezing my tail off at the Petropolis Dog Show. Tonight, the city's most perfect pooch will win the grand prize, their very own mailman.
Keswick: [turns off the news channel] What kind of self-absorbed doofus would enter a dog show?
Dudley: [in the elevator as the doors open, spraying his flowing blonde hair with hairspray] Guess who's entering the dog show?
Kitty: You gotta be kidding me.
Dudley: I know, I'm gorgeous, right? Just got back from the groomer. Now all I have to do is keep this perfect look 'till tonight, and I'll be chasing my very own MAILMAN! Am I hot, or what?
Chief: I'm hot too.
Keswick: Well, I wouldn't go that far, but you are looking better ever since you joined that tiny gym. | Chief | No, I mean, it's getting warm in here. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | The Rat Pack / Booby Trap [1.15] | 2 | Dudley: You can't fight it, Snaptrap! You got the music in you! | Snaptrap | [straining to resist the dance] Must...be...STRONG! [Dudley pushes the dance floor button on the boom box, smashes it on the ground, lighting up the dance floor] Oh, no! GOTTA DANCE! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | The Rat Pack / Booby Trap [1.15] | 2 | Dudley: [worn out] Man, I'm pooped. | Dudley clones | Ha! He said poop! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | The Rat Pack / Booby Trap [1.15] | 13 | [Petropolis convention center; Bird Brain and co. arrive in their Whirly Bird helicopter for the International Booby Con]
Bird Brain: [laughs] Hey! Hey! Here we are at the First Annual Blue-Bottomed Booby Convention! I hope we can get a seat. It's going to be packed! [the convention center is completely empty as they enter] Or not. I thought there'd be blue-bottomed boobies everywhere!
Owl: Who?
Bird Brain: Boobies!
Bat: Where?
Bird Brain: HERE, at the convention! Oh, Zippy, I am so disappointed. And not just because my henchmen are idiots. It appears that I'm the only blue-bottomed booby, in existence!
Zippy: Look on the bright side, boss, you can be the first in line at the buffet. [Bird Brain looks over to the buffet and see that Owl and Bat are already there] Or third.
Bird Brain: Save me some lox, Owl!
Owl: Who?
Bird Brain: ME!
Bat: Where?
Bird Brain: [jumps] At the buffet table! What I wouldn't give for a taser right now! | Zippy | You know, boss, there is another advantage to being the only blue-bottomed booby. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | The Rat Pack / Booby Trap [1.15] | 3 | Bird Brain: This is wonderful! I'm above the law! I love being the only booby!
Unnamed Booby: [appears] Greetings, fellow booby! [suddenly and inexplicably tied to a rocket outside the convention, via, Bird Brain] | Bird Brain | Hello, and GOOD-BYE! After a brief scare, I'm once again the only blue-bottomed booby! Now, to hatch my most diabolical plan ever...right after I hit the buffet table and build my own sundae. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Snappy Campers / Lucky Duck [1.16] | 12 | [Flashback to Snaptrap's childhood memory at camp]
Camp Counselor: And the winner of this summer's camp champ award for best camper is, everyone but for Verminious Snaptrap!
[The campers all cheer except for young Snaptrap]
Young Snaptrap: This is an outrage! I demand to know why I didn't win!
Camp Counselor: You bullied the junior campers, cheated at every camp competition, and you blew up the mess hall.
Young Snaptrap: Well, sure! It was nacho night, and I'm allergic to cheese!
Campers: [chanting] Snaptrap stinks! Snaptrap stinks!
[Flashback ends]
Larry: [chanting] Snaptrap stinks! Snaptrap stinks!
Snaptrap: [gets in Larry's face, angrily] Flashback's over, Larry! [throws Larry out of the bus at the edge of a cliff as he falls while screaming]
Larry: [calling out] It's pointy down here! | Snaptrap | I got so angry about losing, I developed a nervous twitch. Luckily, I'm over it. [twitches] |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | The Curse of King Mutt / Bored of Education [1.17] | 6 | Bird Brain: Well played, Agent Puppy. But I knew it was you all along.
Snaptrap: Yeah, that's why you led that heroic charge into the Ancient Greek trash compactor.
Chameleon: Quit fighting and let's make a run for it!
Kitty: Dudley, it's time to take out the trash!
Chameleon: Ooh, I hope we can get the same cell. Then we'll really get to bond. Can I get a "team evil?" | Bird Brain | No, please! Put me in solitary! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | The Curse of King Mutt / Bored of Education [1.17] | 6 | Kitty: [in high-pitched voice] Wait kids, think about your future!
Dudley: [laughs in high-pitched voice] Kitty, you sound funny! Hey, listen to me! I'm Tiny ! A little secret agent who lives in a thimble, and eats mini-mini waffles! Now you say something funny.
Kitty: I hear a beeping sound.
Dudley: I don't get it.
Chameleon: Forgot the pirate-themed forks. | Dudley | [groans] Now I get it. Tiny drives a mini minivan. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | The Curse of King Mutt / Bored of Education [1.17] | 3 | Dudley: [still in his high-pitched voice] I can't believe those kids turned evil!
Kitty: Dudley, the gas wore off ten minutes ago. | Dudley | I know, I just like talking like this. [in low-pitched voice] I also like talking like this. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Guard Dog / Dog Save the Queen [1.18] | 12 | Dudley: Snaptrap, you're going to jail for blowing up the "Say Cheese" store.
Snaptrap: You know, it's weird. I've blown up a lot of combination cheese-and-camera shops, but I don't remember blowing up the one in Petsburg.
Ollie: Actually, boss, according to your schedule, we were at the D.O.O.M. picnic the day that store was blown up.
Dudley: Wait a minute. If you didn't blow it up, then who did? [to Chameleon] Chameleon?
Chameleon: Fine! I confess--it was me! I transformed myself into Snaptrap, and framed him. There, I said it! You broke me down! Your incredible psychological tactics are impossible to resist! I hope you are satisfied.
Dudley: I was just going to ask you if you had the key to unlock these handcuffs.
Chameleon: [facepalms himself] Oh, darn it!
Dudley: Why'd you do it, Chameleon?
Chameleon: To get rid of my criminal competition. Also, I wanted a free ride to Petsburg. There's a publisher there who rejected my book. I was going to put a very lonely rattlesnake in his bed!
Snaptrap: That means I'm innocent! I get to go home.
Dudley: Not so fast! You may not have blown up the store, but you still tried to annihilate the Chameleon and me. You're going to jail! | Snaptrap | Let's not play the blame game. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Guard Dog / Dog Save the Queen [1.18] | 7 | Chameleon: [disguised as a wolf citizen] Hello! It is I, the -- I mean, Lord of the Flies! [holds up a plate of flies] Here, have a fly. I'm sorry, I'm all out of silverfish. Oh, tally-ho, English muffin, fish and chips! [looks at the Queen's crown] And now, to make my move! [transforms into his regular self, laughs evilly while crawling up the wall, attaches himself to the ceiling and rappels down onto the Queen's crown with his tail and tries to pull it off] What is this? A crown or a bike helmet?! And why is there a cake inside of it?!
The Queen: Guards! Stop this thief at once!
[As the guards are about to seize the Chemeleon, Big Ben chimes]
Guard: Oh, jolly good, tea time!
Chameleon: No tea for me. I filled up on flies. Well, if I can't take the crown, I will have to take you! [grabs the Queen and escapes through the chimney]
Kitty: [flying over; to Dudley through her wrist-com] Dudley, the Chameleon's got the Queen! [The Chameleon turns himself into a British taxi with the Queen inside and drives away] Where are you? | Dudley | [still in prison tower] Over here. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Doom and Gloom / Law and Ordor [1.19] | 11 | [D.O.O.M. headquarters; 3 to 5 years later...]
Snaptrap: [as he and his friends walk in; bummed] Well, that was a rough three to five years. I wonder if this carton of milk I left on the table is still good. Drink it, Francisco! [Francisco drinks the spoiled milk, causing his face to turn green with sickness, and collapses] Let's go steal some more milk at grocery store! I'll call T.U.F.F. and tell them.
Larry: Snaptrap, don't you get it by now? We keep on getting caught 'cause you always tell T.U.F.F. our plans!
Snaptrap: [in denial] I'm sorry Larry. I can't hear you FROM THE SHARK TANK! [pulls the lever, opening the shark tank underneath Larry and the sharks begin mauling him] Wow, you can really tell the sharks haven't eaten in three to five years.
Larry: [climbing out, fed up and outraged] That's it! I've had enough! You're a big, stinky bully, and I quit! [walks off with purpose]
Snaptrap: Sticks and stones, LARRY! Seriously, guys. Throw sticks and stones at him!
[Ollie and Francisco throw sticks and stones at Larry as he exits]
Larry: OW! My bones!
Snaptrap: I have exciting news fellas! With Larry gone, you two get to take turns in the shark tank.
Ollie: [as he and Francisco look at each other and make a run for it] Wait up, Larry! | Snaptrap | [digs into his pockets] Darn it! I'm out of sticks and stones! Well, who needs those losers? I'm the only smart one around here anyway. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Doom and Gloom / Law and Ordor [1.19] | 6 | Larry: [on-screen] It is I, , leader of Genius 's Order of Mayhem, otherwise known as: "G.L.O.O.M."
Dudley: No offense, but "Larry's" not a very scary name.
Larry: Oh, all right. Then from now on, call me...Murray!
[Kitty and Chief gasp in shock]
Chief: Okay, Murray, you've got our attention. Now, just tell us your diabolical plan, so we can arrest you go out for brunch. | Larry (Murray) | Ahh! But that's the twist. I'm not gonna tell you my diabolical plan. Murray, out! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Doom and Gloom / Law and Ordor [1.19] | 2 | Larry (Murray): Attention, T.U.F.F. nitwits! It is I, Murray! [Kitty and Chief gasp] I'm here to tell you about my diabolical plan! | Chief | Thank you, Murray, you've made one middle-aged flea very happy! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Doom and Gloom / Law and Ordor [1.19] | 5 | Keswick: I've received intel that the Stink Bug is on the loose!
Dudley: Who's the Stink Bug?
Keswick: A diabolical bug villain who stinks. Duh! It's right in his name! Because of his rancid smell, we r-ruh-ran him out of town.
Chief: Actually, we just told him to take a shower, but he made a big stink about it and left, vowing revenge! | Keswick | Well, he's back, and he's robbing the Limburger Chuh-Chuh-Cheese Factory. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Doom and Gloom / Law and Ordor [1.19] | 2 | Stink Bug: I told you, I DON'T shower! [gets in Percival's face] YOU ARE THE WORST EVIL INTERN EVER! | Percival | Oh, evil intern? I must've missed that in the job description. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Big Dog on Campus / Dog's Best Friend [1.21] | 15 | Lunch Lady Bug: No one is leaving till you all clean your plates! And by "clean your plates", I mean, "CEASE TO EXIST!!!"
Dudley: Wait a minute. Lunch Lady Bug? It was you all along? But why?
Lunch Lady Bug: Because I've put up with you insulting my food for years, and now, destroying your reunion will be my revenge!
Dudley: [to Kitty] She's crazy!
Kitty: Duh! She put snakes in her Spanish rice!
Lunch Lady Bug: And now, I will drown you all with this giant vat of gravy! [laughs manically] The sweet taste of revenge! Actually, it's a little lumpy. [laughs] The lumpy taste of revenge!
Dudley: Wait, Lunch Lady Bug! Not everyone hates your food! I love it and I always have! Your bratwurst are the wurst-bests, I mean, best-wursts-- wow, I have to go to the bathroom.
Lunch Lady Bug: Who cares what you think? You're just an assistant to an apprentice rodeo clown.
Dudley: No, I'm not! I'm a super-cool T.U.F.F. agent! Okay, I can't get the barrel off, but underneath it is an awesome black t-shirt, which come to think of it, really doesn't prove anything.
Kitty: The point is, he isn't a clown, and I'm not really a hairless cat!
Dudley: Yes you are.
Kitty: I mean... I'm a T.U.F.F. agent too!
Lunch Lady Bug: I don't care who you are! In a few seconds, you'll be a garnish on my dish of death!
Dudley: Kitty, we'll have to fight food with food! Set your blaster to mashed potato! | Kitty | That's ridiculous! There's no setting for-- [sees the "mashed potato" setting on her blaster] Oh, look, there is! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Monkey Business / Diary of a Mad Cat [1.23] | 2 | Chameleon: [disguised as Kitty's mother] When are you going to get married? Why don't you call me on my birthday?! Why can't you be more like your sister?! | Kitty | My sister's in jail! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Top Dog / Quack in The Box [1.25] | 16 | Kitty: Wow. Dudley is a terrible chief. Luckily, all of the city's worst villains are out of commission.
Keswick: Are they in jail?
Kitty: No, they're at an evil softball tournament in Petsburgh.
[Snaptrap, Bird Brain, and the Chameleon are seen playing there]
Snaptrap: I stole home! Seriously, I stole it. I also swiped the ref's watch. Start the car, Larry!
Keswick: Well, if all the bad guys are out there playing softball, then there's nothing to worry about.
[Lightning flashes over the city and the face of a new villain appears]
Meerkat: It's time to give Petropolis something to worry about! I call to order the first meeting of the Fiendish League of Potential Perpetrators: "F.L.O.P.P.!" Role call! , oh that's me. And I'll have you know I'm no mere cat, I'm the MEERKAT! Get it, Mere Cat, [pulls out a sign with 'Mere Cat' at the top and '' at the bottom] see the difference. You kinda have to write it down. [throws the sign away] Moving on...Wanna-Bee?
Wanna-Bee: I'm here and I wanna be bad!
Meerkat: Oooh, I like your moxie. Missing Lynx, eh missing as usual. Fiddler Crab? [Fiddler Crab plays a fiddle note but one of the strings snap and hit him in the eye] Oh, that's a snappy ditty. Escape Goat?
Escape Goat: I'm here, and I'm forming my greatest escape yet! Has anyone seen a tiny key?!
Meerkat: Time to brainstorm a fiendish plan!
Wanna-Bee: Yeah! Let's do something super bad! [falls into the creamer]
Meerkat: Oh, dear, he's fallen in the creamer! Someone throw him a swizzle stick!
Escape Goat: Here's an evil plan. Why don't we dine and dash? Ha-ha! | Meerkat | Ooh, that's super evil! Let's do it! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Top Dog / Quack in The Box [1.25] | 2 | Chief: You're going to jail, F.L.O.P.P.! | Meerkat | Oh, goody! Do you hear that, boys? We're going to jail like real criminals! [realizes] Oh, no! We're going to jail like real criminals! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Top Dog / Quack in The Box [1.25] | 10 | Wolf Spitzer: here with beloved children's TV host, and convicted felon, Quacky the Duck. We're at the grand opening of Quacky's new restaurant... Quack in the Box.
Quacky: Hey, kids! You're gonna love what's on the menu. It's better than prison food and I should know.
Sharing Moose: I'm only gonna say this once, "Eat here or else!"
Quacky: Okay, Sharing Moose. Save that charm for the drive-thru window.
Chief: Quacky's got a restaurant? Let's hurry and beat the crowd!
Keswick: Looks like the Sharing Moose is already... [stutters] doing that.
Sharing Moose: I said get in line, grandma!
Kitty: [speechless] I can't believe you guys are buying this. Do I need to remind you that Quacky tied me and Dudley to a rocket and fired us into space?
Keswick: Kitty, you have to learn to forgive and forget. | Kitty | Really? I bet Dudley hasn't forgiven or forgotten. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Top Dog / Quack in The Box [1.25] | 6 | Wolf Spitzer: Quacky, isn't it a little coincidental that the T.U.F.F. agent who put you behind bars is the winner of your contest?
Quacky: Yeah, coincidental. That's what it is. Definitely not part of a sinister revenge plan that carved on a prison wall with a sharpened toothbrush.
Dudley: I WON! I WON! I STILL CAN'T BREATHE!
Quacky: Besides, Agent Puppy is my biggest fan and he'd do anything to make Quack in the Box a success.
Sharing Moose: You hear that, Wolf-man? Agent Puppy would do anything. | Dudley | I'd stop at nothing! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Top Dog / Quack in The Box [1.25] | 4 | Sharing Moose: Well done, Quacky. Things are going just like we planned.
Quacky: Yeah! Once I activate those quacktion figures, they'll destroy every other fast food restaurant in Petropolis and make it look like Agent Puppy did it! [quickly realizes] Whoops! I said that over the drive-thru microphone.
Sharing Moose: [tosses the customer his meal and the customer drives away] Don't worry. I didn't put the stomach medicine in his sloppy meal. He'll never make it out of the parking lot. | Customer | [throws up and crashes] I'm gonna need an extra napkin! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Top Dog / Quack in The Box [1.25] | 7 | Dudley: KITTY! DID YOU SEE ME ON TV?!
Kitty: I can't believe you're still into Quacky. He's a deranged lunatic who tried to annihilate us. Ooh! The Math Moth! He taught me long division and how to eat a wool sweater.
Keswick: Boy, Quacky's food really hits the spot. It's just the right blend of farming pesticides and irradiated artificial meat filler.
Chief: Whoa, Agent Puppy! Is that the Phonics Fox? You know, I've always had a crush on her. How do I look?
Keswick: Uh, Chief, you know she's not real.
Chief: Just because she's a lifeless plastic toy doesn't mean she's not real. | Keswick | That's exactly what it means. Looks like somebody needs to talk to the Sanity Seagull. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Top Dog / Quack in The Box [1.25] | 4 | Wolf Spitzer: here. Agent Puppy, did you destroy Argh-by's because you're a crazed Quacky the Duck fan and want to eliminate the competition?
Dudley: What? No! That's ridic--
[Kitty falls on him] | Wolf Spitzer | There you have it. Proof positive that it's raining cats. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Freaky Spy Day / Dog Tired [2.01] | 13 | Dudley: [in Kitty's body after switching brains] It worked! Now as far as anyone knows, I'm Kitty. And that's just me asleep on the floor again. Now to make a date with Jack. [calls Jack's number; badly imitating Kitty] Hi, Jack. It's Kitty. I got your message.
Jack: Kitty, what's wrong with your voice?
Dudley/Kitty: Uh, I have a fur ball in my throat because I'm a cat and not a dog with my brain inside a cat's body. [laughs nervously] Wanna meet for lunch?
Jack: Love to. Meet me at 12:00 at our Our Old Hangout.
Dudley/Kitty: Ummm...I don't remember where that is, and not because I'm just pretending to be Kitty and don't know you that well. [laughs nervously again]
Jack: Actually, we've never been there before. "Our Old Hangout" is the name of a new restaurant on main street. I'll see you there.
Dudley/Kitty: Beware Jack Rabbit. There's a new Kitty in town, and her name is Dumpley Puppy! [falls to the floor] Aah! I twisted my ankle!
[Our Old Hangout restaurant; Jack is sitting at a booth waiting for Kitty (Dudley in Kitty's body) to arrive]
Dudley/Kitty: Hi, Jackie-poo! [has trouble walking in Kitty's boots and trips on Jack] Sorry, I'm late. I had to put on my lady face. [giggles]
Jack: Kitty, It's good to see you. I thought about you a lot while I was in the slammer.
Dudley/Kitty: Well, you deserved to be in jail. [slaps Jack in the face]
Jack: [points to his convertible car outside] Actually, The slammer is my high powered European sports car. It's an XJ5 Convertible. | Dudley/Kitty | Yeah? Well, your fancy car doesn't impress me. I only came here to tell you, I want nothing to do with you! Oh, and to do this! [splashes a glass of water in Jack's face] And this! [squirts ketchup in his face] And maybe this too! [pushes a stick of butter on his forehead] And don't bother wiping your face, 'cause I never want to see it again! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Freaky Spy Day / Dog Tired [2.01] | 5 | Dudley/Kitty: [on the phone] I'd like to order a dune buggy, and a pot roast the size of a dune buggy.
Kitty/Dudley: Dudley, have you gone crazy?! Why did you trade brians with me?
Dudley/Kitty: Keep your shirt on! I don't want my Chinese noodles to fall out. [Kitty groans at him with anger] Look, I know you're mad, but I did it to protect you from Jack Rabbit. I was afraid he'd try and do something bad to you again. But as it turns out, he's an awesome guy who just left his sunglasses in the top secret T.U.F.F. computer room.
Kitty/Dudley: What?! Jack's back?! Dudley, he used his charms to trick you! | Dudley/Kitty | Actually, he used it to buy me a dune buggy. I love him, Kitty! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Freaky Spy Day / Dog Tired [2.01] | 6 | Snaptrap: [in Kitty's body] Wow! I can get even bigger tips now!
Dudley: Hi-YAH! [punches Snaptrap in the nose, knocking him out] Take that, Snaptrap! [to Kitty, in Snaptrap's body] Sorry, Kitty. I think I broke your nose.
Jack: [comes out of the top secret computer room] The list is on this flash drive, Snaptrap.
Kitty: [imitating Snaptrap's voice] Yeah. That's who I am. Snaptrap and not a girl cat in a really gross rat's body. Are there noodles in my shirt? Do all guys do this?
Jack: [tosses the flash drive in Snaptrap's (Kitty's) hands] You've got your list. Now, give me my money. | Kitty | No chance, Jack. 'Cause I'm not really Snaptrap. [picks up the Brain Switcher; in normal voice] I'm Katswell! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Freaky Spy Day / Dog Tired [2.01] | 2 | Mr. Wong: Dudley Puppy, you crossed the Wong guy! Get it? 'Cause my name is Wong. | Kitty | You know, this is a secret agency. We really should lock the door. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Freaky Spy Day / Dog Tired [2.01] | 2 | Dudley: [in Jack's body; imitating Jack's voice] Here's my credit card, Mr. Wong. It should cover all the food ate. And all the food he's planning to eat in the future. | Mr. Wong | [takes the credit card] Thank you, wise and handsome stranger. [leaves the building] |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Freaky Spy Day / Dog Tired [2.01] | 5 | Snaptrap: [sitting in his chair, wearing his bunny slippers and robe; depressed] Woe is me. [sighs depressingly]
Ollie: Oh, are you depressed, boss?
Snaptrap: Well, yes. Also, I've changed my name to "Woe."
Larry: What's wrong, Snaptrap? | Snaptrap | [shouting angrily] IT'S "WOE", LARRY! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Pup Daddy / Candy Cane-ine [2.02] | 2 | Elderly Kitty: Dudley, what have you done?! | Elderly Chief | Get him! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Bark to the Future / Lights, Camera, Quacktion [2.03] | 2 | Kitty: Keep working, Keswick. Here's a piece of pizza. [slides a slice of pizza under the door] | Kewsick | I CAN'T REACH THE PIZZA! Oh, [stuttering] SURE! I guess I'll just STARVE!! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Bark to the Future / Lights, Camera, Quacktion [2.03] | 10 | Wolf Spitzer: here for Access Hollywolf. I'm with former kid show host and convicted felon, Quacky the Duck, and his scary partner, the Sharing Moose. They are out of prison and making their first feature film.
Quacky: Which is definitely a real movie, and not a villainy cover up for heinous crimes.
Sharing Moose: That's right. I spent a year in solitary writing the screenplay.
Quacky: Seriously? You actually wrote a real screenplay?
Sharing Moose: It's a touch in celebration of life. And if the actors mess it up, they will never forget the taste of my FIST!
Wolf Spitzer: And who are these lucky actors of what you speak?
Quacky: Well, Wolf, we cast three local suckers, I mean, local citizens in the starring roles.
Kitty: [turns off the screen] What kind of idiots would wanna star in a Quacky the Duck movie?
[Elevator doors open] | Dudley | KITTY, WE'RE STARRING IN A QUACKY THE DUCK MOVIE! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Sheep Dog / Mom's Away [2.09] | 8 | Chameleon: [putting money in a safe vault in the wall of a motel room] This is my best plan yet! Soon, I'll have more money than I currently have! Plus, the old-lady sheep seem to really enjoy the Latin charms of Ricardo Muttonban. [disguises himself as Ricardo] Right until I take all of their money, that is! With this disguise, it's so easy to pull the wool over their eyes. Oh-ho, wow! That was clever, and it rhymed. Clever wordplay is the hallmark of comedy!
Wolf Spitzer: This is with rich-people news. New super-easy-to-take-advantage-of socialite Lady Saggy Moneybags Wrinklesmith III is throwing a cotillion.
Dudley: [speaking in a falsetto accent] Which is a dance, and not the number that comes after a billion, like you would think.
Wolf Spitzer: This is saying, "No one thought that." Anyway, every rich, old sheep in town is invited to to Lady Wrinklesmith's yacht tonight.
Chameleon: That Wrinklesmith's face could stop a clock. [shudders in disgust] But I wonder how much she's worth?
Wolf Spitzer: In case you're wondering how much Lady Saggy Moneybags Wrinklesmith III is worth, it's--
Dudley: A cotillion dollars! | Wolf Spitzer | We've been over this. That's not a number. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Sheep Dog / Mom's Away [2.09] | 7 | Snaptrap's Mom: [through speaker] Verminious, what'd you do with my toe cream?!
Snaptrap: It's under your bunion cream, Mom! It's gross, guys. Her feet has more bumps than the surface of the moon.
Snaptrap's Mom: VERMINIOUS! How many stamps do I need to send an email?!
Snaptrap: Boy, mom's are the worst.
Francisco: Yeah, tell me about it. This one time, I didn't clean up my room, and my mom tried to turn me into a pair of boots.
Ollie: My mom was equally horrid. Her crumpets were dry and lumpy. | Larry | I love my mommy. She's cool. She always takes care of me when I get hurt. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Love Bird / Bluff Puppy [2.10] | 7 | Bird Brain: Gather around, henchmen!
Owl: Who?
Bird Brain: You!
Bat: Where?
Bird Brain: Where do you think?! Around me! Duck! Don't duck, I was talking to the duck! [annoyingly facepalms himself] Holy cow. Not you, Holy Cow. Oh, now I've lost my train of thought. Oh, right! I've invented a new hideously diabolical weapon! I call it, the Lovey-Dovey-Kissy-Smoochy gun! I admit the name could be scarier.
Zippy: How does it work, boss? | Bird Brain | It causes anyone I blast to fall madly in love with me! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Love Bird / Bluff Puppy [2.10] | 11 | [Petropolis Prison; The F.L.O.P.P. members are being released]
Meerkat: At last, sweet freedom! Now the members of F.L.O.P.P., the Fiendish League of Potential Perpetrators, can be reunited in crime! Right, Wanna-Bee?
Wanna-Bee: Yeah! 'Cause I wanna be bad!
Escape Goat: So do I, but how can we commit crimes without going back to jail?!
Wanna-Bee: We could rob each other, and not press charges!
Meerkat: I have a better idea. I've contacted an old friend, who leads the exciting life of a supervillain, but has never gone to jail.
Escape Goat: What's his secret?
Meerkat: He's never actually committed a crime. Oh, he threatens to, but it's always a bluff. Fellow members of F.L.O.P.P., meet the Bluffalo!
Bluffalo: Hello, look at me. I'm parked in a handicapped space in a stolen van. Just kidding. I'm legally parked, and I'm leasing this.
Meerkat: I told you he was good. | Bluffalo | With my help, you will be able to terrorize Petropolis with empty threats, and never go to prison. Now, who wants some stolen pizza? I'm bluffing. I paid for it, and left a 20% tip. [giggles] |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Love Bird / Bluff Puppy [2.10] | 4 | [As F.L.O.P.P. and Bluffalo lurk beside the donut shop with boxes of fudgie bars]
Meerkat: [high-fives with Bluffalo] Bluffalo, you're brilliant! Ooh, and I'm diabetic. I shouldn't have eaten all those fudgie bars.
Escape Goat: I'd say let's make our escape, but we didn't do anything wrong! | Bluffalo | And that is the genius of the . Now, let's race to the F.L.O.P.P. shed, while obeying all traffic laws. [They hop into a golf cart and drive away] This is not my golf cart. My brother-in-law loaned it to me. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Barking Tall / Bad Eggs [2.12] | 4 | [Next morning at T.U.F.F. headquarters; Kitty, Keswick, and the Chief are drinking coffee as Dudley shows up, looking a little bigger]
Chief: Uh-oh! It's the diabolical Dr. Half-dog!
Dudley: No, Chief! [squats down to reveal his head] It's me! And I'm tall! Check it out! I can dunk and reach the ham. I can even dunk a ham! | Chief | [jumps onto the hoop and smacks the ham out of Dudley's hand] You may be tall, but I got mad hops. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Barking Tall / Bad Eggs [2.12] | 8 | Keswick: I've got good news and bad news. The good news is we'll never run out of potato salad.
[Dudley, Kitty, and the Chief cheer]
Chief: There's no news bad enough to offset that!
Keswick: And the bad news is I can't stop the effects of the grow-faster blaster, which means big trouble for Agent Puppy.
Dudley: Oh, no! I'm gonna turn into a potato! My seventh greatest fear has been realized!
Chief: But we're still good with the potato salad, right?
[Dudley suddenly starts growing bigger as the size of the headquarters building, with his arms, legs, and head sticking out] | Dudley | [with his eyes closed tightly] I can't bear to look! Am I potato?! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Barking Tall / Bad Eggs [2.12] | 6 | [Dudley lets out a massive fart, blowing up and destroying the headquarters building]
Dudley: [relieved] Ah, that's better! I mean, gross, Kitty!
Chief: Believe it or not, my horoscope said this would happen.
Keswick: What do you know? "A giant dog fart will destroy everything you've worked for."
Kitty: "You will soar to new heights.": | Dudley | [confused] I don't get it. [grows even more bigger] Oh, now I get it! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Carbon Copies / TUFF Cookies [2.13] | 2 | Dudley: Thanks for having a snowball fight with me, Mr. President of the United States. [gets hit in the face with a snowball] | Simulated Eagle President | You're welcome, Dudley. And since we're best friends now you can call me, "Mr. United States." |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Carbon Copies / TUFF Cookies [2.13] | 11 | Simulated Michael Crane: It's always a pleasure to hang out with my best friend, Dudley Puppy.
Dudley: This is awesome! I have so many famous bird friends!
Keswick: Agent Puppy, get out of the simulation station.
Dudley: Come on, Keswick. This is your coolest invention ever! Whatever I imagine in here becomes real! In fact, could you come in here for a second? I'd like to imagine you not bothering me.
Keswick: Agent Puppy, I created the simulation station to train agents for dangerous, real-life situations, not so you could good off with a has-been actor and a lame duck president.
Dudley: He's not a duck. He's an eagle. Besides, Kitty said it was okay.
Simulated Kitty: I did. I think everything Dudley does is okay, if not amazing.
Keswick: That is not the real Agent Katswell.
Dudley: I know. I call her, "agreeable Kitty." She's way better. [sees the real Kitty and gets startled]
Kitty: Better, Dudley? How is she better? | Dudley | Well, for one thing, she doesn't scare me like you just did. Also, her head is a gumball machine. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Carbon Copies / TUFF Cookies [2.13] | 2 | Chief: Agent Puppy, I'm only gonna ask you this once. Did you take Keswick's coffee cup? [Keswick whispers to him; shocked] He did what?! That's way worse! Agents Puppy and Katswell, go get that simulated Michael Crane, and bring him back to T.U.F.F.! Keswick, go put agreeable Kitty back in the simulation station. | Keswick | One second, Chief. I'm trying to get a cherry gumball. [Agreeable Kitty explodes] The gumballs were all backed up. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Carbon Copies / TUFF Cookies [2.13] | 8 | Keswick: [eating an Animal Quacker] These taste like sugar cookies!
Kitty: Don't tell anyone I said this, but these are even better than my Carp Tarts!
Bill: I'm from the Carp Tarts company, and I heard that. You're fired, Ms. Katswell.
Kitty: You've been spying on me?!
Bill: The Carp Tarts company checks up on all their spokespeople. [chuckles] Oh, boy, hiding behind a ficus sure works up an appetite. [eats an Animal Quacker] Mm! Man, these are better than Carp Tarts! [chuckles] I can say that, 'cause no one's spying on me.
Executive: Wrong, Bill! You're FIRED!
Bill: [disappointed] Oh, great. Now I gotta go sell board games in the alley. [walks away, moping] | Dudley | I'm sorry you lost your spokesperson job, Kitty, but the important thing is, I still have mine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to use my super deep TV voice to sell more cookies! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Close Encounters of the Doomed Kind / Golden Retriever [2.15] | 3 | Chief: Okay, I've had some time to get over the mop. And I've decided I can't get over the mop. So we're going after it! Keswick, break out the heavy artillery.
Keswick: I would, Chief. But the key to activate the weapon system is in Kitty's purse. Just kidding, it's in my fanny pack. [chuckles] | Chief | [laughs] Yeah, good one, Keswick. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Crime Takes a Holiday / Flower Power [2.17] | 3 | [Bird Brain and Zippy are both standing in front of the Brawny Booby clothing store]
Zippy: Bird Brain, why are robbing the Brawny Booby? You always rob the Big-Bottomed Booby. | Bird Brain | Because Zippy, I've made a serum out of the Bird of Powerdise flower! Once I take it, I'll be young, handsome, and I'll feel out a muscle shirt like no booby's business! There may be some freaky side effects like: uncontrollable skipping, and the inability to pronounce the letter "R." But, blue bottoms up! [gulps down the serum and grows a full head of hair and a stylish muscular body] Now, look at me. I'm WIPPED! Oh, dear. I sound widiculous. No matter, I look like a gweek god! Hooway! [skips on inside] Evewybody out! This is a wobbewy! [all the other boobys are confused; sighs in frustration] A bugwugwy?! Just get out! [puts on a pair of skinny jeans] Oh, this is fantastic. Finally, I can get into skinny jeans without gweasing my waist with butter. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | T.U.F.F. Sell / Tattle Tale [2.20] | 3 | Meerkat: I hereby call to order this meeting of F.L.O.P.P.: The Fiendish League of Potential Perpatrators!
Escape Goat: It's just me, Meerkat. You don't have to yell. Also, I know what F.L.O.P.P. stands for. | Meerkat | [offended] You know, Escape Goat, you've got quite an attitude for someone who couldn't even escape from the shower this morning! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | True Spies / Bagel and the Beast [2.21] | 7 | Keswick: Mmm. Chief, this three-bean salad you made is delicious!
Chief: Thanks. Although to tell you the truth, I didn't make it. I just took it out of the refrigerator. There's all kinds of stuff in here.
Keswick: [stammering] Wait a minute. This is my spill the beans salad! It's just as powerful as my truth syrup, but with fewer calories!
Chief: Oh, no! Truth beans give me gas. To be honest, I always have gas, but I blame it on Agent Puppy.
Keswick: I never have gas. I'm an alien. Oops!
Chief: Keswick, are you really an alien? | Keswick | No. Yes. I'm hiding out on Earth because I'm wanted on my own planet for cooking stinky fish at work. Super strict planet. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | True Spies / Bagel and the Beast [2.21] | 7 | [Dudley and Kitty serve the D.O.O.M. agents some waffles and pour the truth syrup on them]
Snaptrap: These are delicious. Francisco, pass me more syrup.
Francisco: My name isn't really . It's Francesca. My mom wanted a girl. [realizes what he said] Wait, what am I saying?
Ollie: Aw, that's okay, Francesca. I'm not really British. [in a French accent] I just faked the accent to sound smarter.
Snaptrap: Something weird is happening. Suddenly I have the urge to tell Larry that I don't actually hate him. I'm only hard on him because I think he has the most potential to be evil.
Larry: And I have the urge to admit I've been putting black widows in your gym bag. [realizes what he said, freaking out] What's gotten into us?! | Dudley | I just gave you truth syrup, and I didn't have to tell you because I can lie again. Keswick gave us the antidote-- Key Lie Pie! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | True Spies / Bagel and the Beast [2.21] | 9 | [News footage on the screen monitor shows some police cars in front of a house robbery]
Wolf Spitzer: This is with breaking news. There are reports that Bigfoot-- yes, Bigfoot-- has robbed this strangely familiar home behind me. [realizes in shock] Wait, that's my house!
Daughter Spitzer: [tapping her father's shoulder] Daddy, Bigfoot-- yes, Bigfoot stole my video games!
Wolf Spitzer: Well, sweetie, that's no big deal.
Mrs. Spitzer: He also stole your golf clubs.
Wolf Spitzer: That monster! Bigfoot must be hunted down and DESTROYED!
Dudley: This is ridiculous! Bigfoot would never hurt anyone! He's kind, and generous, and he has a heart as big as his foot.
Kitty: How would you know that, Dudley? | Dudley | Because he came to comfort me when I was a kid after my mom sent me to bed without dessert. I didn't do anything wrong when we were just out of dessert. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | True Spies / Bagel and the Beast [2.21] | 3 | Dudley: [consoling Bigfoot] I'll figure out some way to get you out of here, buddy. I just need to think. Thinking is hard. Maybe I'll just make some hot chocolate. That's hard too. Or maybe I'll just sit here. [jumps and sits down on the floor] Ah, the floor is hard.
Wolf Spitzer: [on screen monitor] This is saying Bigfoot has struck again! And this time, he's teamed up with the beloved former show pony, Shenanigans. Yes, Shenanigans. | Dudley | Hey, look, Bigfoot. You're on TV. Wait. You're on TV. That means... [groans] more thinking. No, wait, I've got it. You're innocent! That means you're innocent! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | Match Me If You Can / Organized Crime [2.24] | 2 | Kitty: [sobbing along with Dudley] We're never gonna get Tammy back! | Chief | [sobbing] I give anything to hear Tammy's voice one more time! |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | T.U.F.F. Love / Soar Loser [3.02] | 2 | [T.U.F.F. headquarters; Tammy is in the elevator putting makeup on, the elevator doors open, revealing Keswick laying on a floating pink cloud with hearts in his eyes, staring dreamily at her] | Keswick | Morning, Tammy! [Tammy screams] I've been on Cloud 9 since I met you. Cloud 9 is the name of the hovering platform I built to be closer to your face. [Tammy closes the elevator doors on his nose] Love hurts. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | T.U.F.F. Love / Soar Loser [3.02] | 5 | Chief: Let me guess, Tammy trouble?
Keswick: Yeah. It just seems my wooing isn't working.
Dudley: Well, maybe Kitty can give you some girl advice. She's kind of a girl.
Kitty: [flicks Dudley in the ear] Thanks, Dudley. And you're kind of a secret agent. So, how exactly have you been wooing her, Keswick? | Keswick | Well let's see, I snuck into her house, then wrote "I love you" on her bathroom mirror in ketchup. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | T.U.F.F. Love / Soar Loser [3.02] | 4 | Keswick: Agent Puppy, this is a nightmare!
Dudley: You're telling me. I really wanted that lemon cream donut.
Keswick: I'm never gonna win Tammy over. [sighs helplessly] | Dudley | You just gotta keep trying, Keswick. I know women, and the one thing they love is being desperately pursued by a guy they're not interested in. |
T.U.F.F. Puppy | T.U.F.F. Love / Soar Loser [3.02] | 6 | [Petropolis Hospital; Snaptrap and Bird Brain are recovering after being beaten by Tammy]
Snaptrap: Well, this is humiliating.
Bird Brain: You're telling me. Two respected thespians, such as ourselves, reduced to being beaten up by a girl?!
Snaptrap: No, I was talking about my hospital gown. It doesn't close in the back.
Bird Brain: We should give that Tammy a taste of her own medicine. | Snaptrap | Sorry, I'm gonna need all my medicine. She really kicked my butt. Which as I mentioned, it's the only part of me this robe isn't covering. |
Xiaolin Showdown | The Journey of a Thousand Miles [1.1] | 14 | [at the Xiaolin Temple, must deal with the new recruits, Raimundo Pedrosa, Kimiko Tohomiko, and Clay Bailey]
Master Fung: Omi, I would like you to meet Raimundo.
Raimundo: Sup?
Master Fung: Kimiko.
Kimiko: He said that? [gasped] Hey. No way!
Master Fung: And Clay.
Clay: Howdy.
Omi: Master, where are the new students?
Master Fung: Right in front of you, Omi.
Omi: They are not what I expected.
Master Fung: The best things in life rarely are.
Omi: You are right, master. Welcome, my new and strangely-attired friends.
Master Fung: I must be going, young ones. I can see there is much teaching to be done here. | Omi | Yes, master. Much teaching indeed. |
Xiaolin Showdown | The Journey of a Thousand Miles [1.1] | 7 | Omi: What is that? Is it magic?
Kimiko: It's a PDA. I'm sending a message to a friend in Tokyo.
Omi: A secret message?
Kimiko: Nah. I'm just telling her I met a very strange kid who apparently doesn't know about personal space issues.
Omi: Really? Who? [Points at Clay] Is it that guy?
Clay: Not me, partner. | Raimundo | It's you, chrome dome. |
Xiaolin Showdown | The Journey of a Thousand Miles [1.1] | 11 | [Meanwhile, meet the evil boy genius, Jack Spicer]
Jack: I want to rule the whole world! All of it! Not some of it. Not just Iceland or Fiji. I wanna rule the whole world!
Jack-bot: Pardon me, sir.
Jack: What? Cant you see Im on an evil rant here?
Jack-bot: Yes, sir, but your father sent you a gift from Hong Kong.
Jack: Oh, a puzzle box. Oh, lets see. And my prize is...a mask? Lame. All right, back to world conquest. My favorite pastime. Now, lets see. Europe might not be a bad place to start. Or is that too obvious? Could go in for the unexpected, like Paraguay. But is that enough of an attention grabber? Could go down through Africa, over to South America and...
Wuya: Onward to Asia.
Jack: [screamed in shock] Spooky ghost lady! Attack!
Wuya: Plans for world conquest? My dear boy, we have much in common. Whats your name?
Jack: Spicer. Who are you? What are you? | Wuya | Me? Im your new best friend. |
Xiaolin Showdown | The Journey of a Thousand Miles [1.1] | 3 | Raimundo: Right. Like we're gonna take directions from a gecko.
Dojo: Gecko!? Don't ever call me gecko! | Raimundo | Eh, my mistakes. |
Xiaolin Showdown | The Journey of a Thousand Miles [1.1] | 4 | Master Fung: It is your most solemn duty as Xiaolin Warriors to find all the Shen Gong Wu before Wuya does.
Raimundo: [raises hand] I have a question.
Master Fung: Yes, Raimundo? | Raimundo | I saw my room, and no bed. Just a mat. What the dealy? [Everyone stares at him] Um, we can talk later... |
Xiaolin Showdown | The Journey of a Thousand Miles [1.1] | 5 | [Raimundo turns off the game Omi is playing and Omi starts crying]
Omi: YAAH! MY LITTLE FRIEND HAS BEEN TAKEN BY THE DARK FORCES OF EVIL! [to the game] Po-chi are you in there?!Can you hear the sound of my voice?!
[Raimundo laughs and Kimiko punches him]
Kimiko: Don't mess with the monk! | Raimundo | [Grimacing] Girl, you hit hard! |
Xiaolin Showdown | The Journey of a Thousand Miles [1.1] | 6 | Raimundo: Its a what now?
Dojo: A Xiaolin Showdown. Its what happens when two warriors reach a stalemate over a Shen Gong Wu. Two words: Freak-y.
Omi: Jack Spicer, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown! I wager my Two-Ton Tunic against your Mantis Flip Coin. Whoever reaches the last stone first wins the Eye of Dashi. And the other Shen Gong Wu as well.
Wuya: Accept the challenge. Accept it!
Jack: I accept your challenge, Omi. | Omi | Lets go! Xiaolin Showdown! |
Xiaolin Showdown | The Journey of a Thousand Miles [1.1] | 15 | Master Fung: You have all done exceptionally well. Wouldnt you agree, Dojo?
Dojo: Not bad, for amateurs.
Master Fung: The journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step.
Dojo: Where do you get this stuff?
Master Fung: I have a desk calendar.
Omi: Master Fung, there are so many Shen Gong Wu left to be found.
Master Fung: Your new friends will help.
Omi: Oh, yes, master. I have already taught much to Kimiko, Raimundo, and Clay.
Master Fung: But, Omi, they are here to teach you.
Omi: But I am the chosen one.
Master Fung: You arent the only chosen one, Omi. Someday your new friends may become Dragons, as well. Kimiko, the Dragon of Fire. Clay, the Dragon of Earth. And Raimundo, the Dragon of the Wind.
Omi: Is this true, master?
Master Fung: Yes, but I didnt want to tell you until you were ready.
[Omi groans] | Clay | I dont think he was ready. |
Xiaolin Showdown | Like a Rock! [1.2] | 2 | Raimundo: You knew you couldn't beat us with your old man kung fu. | Omi | [laughing hysterically] Raimundo mocks Clay's Tai Chi by calling it "old man kung fu!" He implies Clay is like an old man doing kung fu! |
Xiaolin Showdown | Like a Rock! [1.2] | 4 | Omi: I foolishly and shamefully lost a quarter second on the sandbags. As you might say, I smell bad.
Raimundo: I stink, not I smell bad.
Omi: I stink? | Raimundo | Yeah, and you smell bad, too. [laughs] |
Xiaolin Showdown | Like a Rock! [1.2] | 3 | Omi: In your head, Raimundo!
Raimundo: It's 'In your face'. | Omi | Talk to my fingers! |
Xiaolin Showdown | Like a Rock! [1.2] | 2 | Dojo: Ooh, that Fist of Tebigong must be close, 'cause I'm getting a wicked case of Shen Gong Wu rash! Yeah, it kinda itches here, but it's more burny down there, and behind the my tail I've got this unsightly cracking. I mean it, it's ooh. | Kimiko | I meant with the location of the Shen Gong Wu! |
Xiaolin Showdown | Like a Rock! [1.2] | 2 | Raimundo: There has gotta be some way outta here. Okay. Those walls are solid. | Kimiko | Let me try. [she throws Raimundo on a mime wall] You're right. Those walls are solid. |
Xiaolin Showdown | Like a Rock! [1.2] | 6 | Raimundo: So, Clay? Can I give the Eye of Dashi a try?
Clay: Sure thing, Raimundo.
Omi: What? Why? I should try it before you. I found it.
Raimundo: Your snooze, your lose!
Omi: Then perhaps, I'll try the Fist of Tebigong on your head! | Kimiko | Guys, knock it off! Or I'll Third Arm Sash your mouths shut! |
Xiaolin Showdown | Tangled Web [1.3] | 2 | Omi: Yuck! This candy tastes most unpleasant! | Raimundo | That 'cause it's lipstick. |
Xiaolin Showdown | Tangled Web [1.3] | 3 | Dojo: [shivering] This water's cold. I'm tellin' ya, I don't know how my cousin, Nessie, stands living here! 'Course, if you ask me, she likes all the attention! "Hey, look! It's the Loch Ness Monster!"
Scottish Man: [offscreen] Hey, look! It's the Loch Ness Monster! | Dojo | See? |
Xiaolin Showdown | Tangled Web [1.3] | 2 | Omi: [reading the "Ancient Guide to Females"] Oh yes! Females are easily frightened! | Kimiko | [obviously irked] You're lucky you're cute, Omi. |
Xiaolin Showdown | Tangled Web [1.3] | 5 | Jack Spicer: Standard for my folks parties. Snobfest a-go-go.
Ashley (Katnappe): So, are you Jack? the kid theyre all talking about upstairs?
Jack Spicer: [Perking up hopefully] Theyre talking about me?! Are they calling me a genius?!
Ashley (Katnappe): More like weirdo | Jack Spicer | WHATS SO WEIRD ABOUT ME?! |
Xiaolin Showdown | Tangled Web [1.3] | 2 | Omi: I am very surprised Kimiko can lift such a heavy pot with her delicate female arms. | Kimiko | [angry] WHAT!?!? |
Xiaolin Showdown | Tangled Web [1.3] | 6 | Omi: The Golden Tiger Claws are inside that palace?
Dojo: That's what this rash is telling me. Ohhh. Wonder if there's an ointment for this? Ahhhh-hhhh!
Raimundo: How do we get in there?
Clay: Maybe if we knock on the door and ask real nice like?
Dojo: That's the Emperor Palace. They don't just let anybody in there. We need connections! | Kimiko | Oh, no worries. I'll call my dad. |
Xiaolin Showdown | Katnappe! [1.4] | 5 | Jack Spicer: Stay out of this Ashley.
Katnappe: My evil name's Katnappe, doofus.
Jack Spicer: Who you calling' doofus, Kitty Litter?
Katnappe: Who you calling' Kitty Litter, Robo-freak? | Wuya | Enough! Cease your bickering. |
Xiaolin Showdown | Katnappe! [1.4] | 2 | Katnappe: See you, Xiaolin Warriors. I've got more shopping to do. Me-ow! | Dojo | Except for the parts where she slapped us silly and got away, I think that went pretty well. |
Xiaolin Showdown | Shen Yi Bu [1.5] | 6 | Jack: Uh-huh, hmm. So, Mr. Tubbimura, tell us about yourself. Why should Spicer, evil incorporated, hire you?
Tubbimura: [Bowing] Hai. Well er, I have, as you can see, extensive experience wreaking havoc and destruction.
Jack: Yeah not really looking for H and D.
Tubbimura: Er, I also have solid grasp of mayhem.
Wuya: Mayhem is good. | Jack | There's always a need for mayhem. |
Xiaolin Showdown | Shen Yi Bu [1.5] | 2 | Tubbimura: You must choose. Drop the Sword of the Storm or fall. | Raimundo | 'Kay, I choose fall. |
Xiaolin Showdown | Shen Yi Bu [1.5] | 5 | Master Fung: You weren't defeated by your opponent Raimundo.
Raimundo: Oh, no? Would you like to see the impression of his boot on my butt?
Master Fung: [Hurriedly] Oh, that won't be necessary. You were defeated by your lack of knowledge. Remember, a drop of knowledge is more powerful than a sea of force.
Raimundo: [Sighs] Can't anyone speak normally around here? | Master Fung | Reflect on these things. As for me, I think I shall try my hand at Goo Zombies 2. |
Xiaolin Showdown | Chameleon [1.6] | 2 | Jack Spicer: Oh, Im leaving alright, and youre coming with me! | Kimiko | Oh, really, whos gonna make me? |
Xiaolin Showdown | Chameleon [1.6] | 7 | Clay: Face it, Raimundo. He's all over you like stink on a skunk.
Raimundo: Ah-ah! The master isn't through yet. Gotcha, don't I?
Omi: No, the Ace is in your sleeve. I only hesitate because I'm thinking of Kimiko again. Or perhaps I should say, the one who calls herself Kimiko.
Raimundo: You're tiger instincts are keen, bro. But your theory about Kim is... I don't know, it's-
Clay: Buggier than a June bug?
Raimundo: Yeah, it's buggier than a June bug. | Omi | No. I am sure of myself on this matter. But if you will not listen, perhaps Master Fung will. |
Xiaolin Showdown | Chameleon [1.6] | 5 | Omi: [points at Chameleon (disguised as Kimiko) taking the Shen Gong Wu to Clay and Raimundo] See? You see, you see, you see?!
Clay: I see but...I do not wanna believe.
Raimundo: NIFTY! I should've caught it at NIFTY!
Omi: Imposter, show your true form! | Kimiko (Chameleon) | How about if I show you this instead? |
Xiaolin Showdown | Chameleon [1.6] | 4 | Wuya: You have done well, Jack Spicer.
Jack Spicer: Evil Genius well!?
Wuya: Don't ruin the moment. | Jack Spicer | Sorry. |
Xiaolin Showdown | Ring of the Nine Dragons [1.7] | 4 | Jack: Any idea where we're going?
Wuya: No, but I could always glide through the walls, and peek ahead.
Jack: N-not a good idea. | Wuya | Why? You're not afraid of the dark, are you? |
Xiaolin Showdown | Ring of the Nine Dragons [1.7] | 3 | Omi: My viper strike was not very good.
Dizzy Omi: I never made it passed level 1. | Fat Omi | I ate cookie dough all night. [burps] Oh. May I never be hungry again. |