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DUMMY1/sn24_0018.wav|0|Ford. Tim was awfully impressed – but nobody else was, because although Fords are fine cars in many ways, they are cars that, well, ordinary people drive, not princes.
DUMMY1/sn24_0019.wav|1|Not usually anyway.
DUMMY1/sn24_0020.wav|0|But Tim could hardly contain himself with excitement now that he had learned the name of a new car.
DUMMY1/sn24_0021.wav|0|The only way that Bertie could stop his flood of questions was to tell a story.
DUMMY1/sn24_0022.wav|0|And this is what he told...
DUMMY1/sn24_0023.wav|0|As soon as Prince Bertie was old enough to drive, he asked his father, the king, for a car.
DUMMY1/sn24_0024.wav|0|The king did not really approve of cars, or any type of machine really, apart from steam trains, which he liked a lot.
DUMMY1/sn24_0025.wav|0|But Bertie kept on asking and asking, until eventually the king agreed that he could have one of the cars that were parked in the palace garage.
DUMMY1/sn24_0026.wav|0|He didn’t really mind which car Bertie took.
DUMMY1/sn24_0028.wav|0|And so she told the garage man to give Bertie the slowest and the oldest.
DUMMY1/sn24_0029.wav|0|Now Bertie and the garage man had known each other for a long, long time.
DUMMY1/sn24_0030.wav|0|He often used to come down to the garage to watch his friend mend the cars.
DUMMY1/sn24_0031.wav|0|When Bertie came to collect his car, the garage man scratched his head and said:
DUMMY1/sn24_0033.wav|1|I’ll tell you what.
DUMMY1/sn24_0034.wav|1|I’ll soup it up a bit.”
DUMMY1/sn24_0035.wav|0|And over the next month, whenever he had a little spare time, he worked on Bertie’s car and added some special features – like an extra super fast engine, and a frame to make it stronger, in case it rolled over in a rally race, and bullet proof glass just in case anybody tried to assassinate Prince Bertie.
DUMMY1/sn24_0036.wav|1|“Wow,”
DUMMY1/sn24_0037.wav|0|thought Bertie as he drove without an instructor for first time.
DUMMY1/sn24_0038.wav|0|He pushed his foot down on the accelerator pedal.
DUMMY1/sn24_0039.wav|1|“This car doesn’t look like much on the outside, but inside there’s a lean, mean racing machine trying to get out.”
DUMMY1/sn24_0041.wav|0|He went speeding down the road, weaving in and out of traffic, and jumping through lights just as they turned red.
DUMMY1/sn24_0043.wav|0|he said.
DUMMY1/sn24_0044.wav|0|But that was just before a dog ran across the road right in front of him.
DUMMY1/sn24_0045.wav|0|Bertie liked dogs, and certainly did not want to run it over, but there was no time to break and so he swerved to the left.
DUMMY1/sn24_0046.wav|0|The tyre hit the curb and he went bouncing back out into the road, and only just missed the dog.
DUMMY1/sn24_0047.wav|0|He had totally lost control now, and the car was just driving itself.
DUMMY1/sn24_0048.wav|0|A mother was pushing her pram along the other side of the pavement towards him.
DUMMY1/sn24_0049.wav|0|The car was skidding diagonally towards them.
DUMMY1/sn24_0050.wav|0|It mounted the pavement, and just went past the pram.
DUMMY1/sn24_0051.wav|0|It carried on ploughing through two or three front gardens and ended up in a hedge.
DUMMY1/sn24_0052.wav|0|As the car crashed to a halt, Bertie lurched forward but his seatbelt stopped him going too far.
DUMMY1/sn24_0053.wav|0|An airbag blew up in front of his nose.
DUMMY1/sn24_0054.wav|0|The first thing he heard was the mother of the baby that he had almost killed, saying:
DUMMY1/sn24_0056.wav|1|Shall I call an ambulance?”
DUMMY1/sn24_0058.wav|0|He even won an award for being the kingdom’s most courteous driver.
DUMMY1/sn24_0059.wav|0|But the wicked queen was anything but a courteous driver.
DUMMY1/sn24_0060.wav|0|If anyone dared to cut in front of her, or worse, give her a speeding ticket or a parking fine, she turned them into a beetle.
DUMMY1/sn24_0061.wav|0|As she sped through the red traffic lights, she thought that Prince Bertie looked quite silly as he waited at the white line.
DUMMY1/sn24_0062.wav|0|She hated the fact that her daughter, the lovely Princess Beatrice, wanted to marry such a namby-pamby, handbreak on, gear in neutral, nincompoop.
DUMMY1/sn24_0063.wav|0|And so she decided that the best way to unimpress Beatrice with Bertie was to go on a driving holiday.
DUMMY1/sn24_0064.wav|0|At the start of the summer, the wicked queen sat at the wheel of her low slung, pointy-nosed, sleek black speed machine.
DUMMY1/sn24_0065.wav|0|Bertie opened the door of his Ford and helped Princess Beatrice with her seat belt.
DUMMY1/sn24_0066.wav|0|They took the road to the next door kingdom, and once they were across the border, they headed for the mountains.
DUMMY1/sn24_0067.wav|0|The queen had arranged for them to stop for the night with her cousin, who lived in a castle on a high mountain pass.
DUMMY1/sn24_0068.wav|0|She would have arrived hours before Bertie and Beatrice, only the police pulled her over for speeding.
DUMMY1/sn24_0069.wav|1|“Do you want me to turn you into a cockroach?”
DUMMY1/sn24_0070.wav|0|She asked the police officer.
DUMMY1/sn24_0071.wav|0|But she was in a foreign land now, and the officials were not afraid of her.
DUMMY1/sn24_0072.wav|0|She thought she had better not do anything too wicked, in case she started a war between the two countries.
DUMMY1/sn24_0073.wav|0|They arrived at the castle towards nightfall.
DUMMY1/sn24_0074.wav|0|Its white towers and pointy red roofs guarded the valley from the top of a wall of rock.
DUMMY1/sn24_0075.wav|1|Prince Dracula would not have been ashamed to live there.
DUMMY1/sn24_0077.wav|0|He was a small man with a little blonde moustache.
DUMMY1/sn24_0078.wav|0|It was hard to see any family resemblance to his cousin, the wicked queen.
DUMMY1/sn24_0079.wav|0|And Bertie thought:
DUMMY1/sn24_0080.wav|1|“He’s obviously sweet like Beatrice, and not at all wicked like her mother.”
DUMMY1/sn24_0081.wav|0|As it was late, they sat down to dinner in the great hall of the castle.
DUMMY1/sn24_0082.wav|0|The first course was wild boar pâté.
DUMMY1/sn24_0083.wav|0|Unfortunately, Princess Beatrice could not eat it because she was a vegetarian.
DUMMY1/sn24_0084.wav|1|“Oh dear, I’m so hungry,”
DUMMY1/sn24_0086.wav|0|A fondue is a mountain dish which you cook yourself at the table.
DUMMY1/sn24_0087.wav|0|Beatrice was pleased when she saw the servant set up the fondue and light the flame below it.
DUMMY1/sn24_0088.wav|0|She loved fondues.
DUMMY1/sn24_0089.wav|0|At home, they would prong bits of bread with a skewer, and dip them in a cheese sauce which was melted over the heat.
DUMMY1/sn24_0090.wav|0|If you lost your bread, you had to do a forfeit, like sing a song or say something silly about yourself.
DUMMY1/sn24_0091.wav|1|“This will be fun,”
DUMMY1/sn24_0092.wav|0|she said to Bertie. The servant lifted the lid of the silver serving dish.
DUMMY1/sn24_0093.wav|1|But oh no.
DUMMY1/sn24_0095.wav|0|It was raw meat.
DUMMY1/sn24_0096.wav|0|The queen quickly pronged a piece with her skewer and popped it into her mouth without cooking it.
DUMMY1/sn24_0097.wav|0|Beatrice was so disappointed.
DUMMY1/sn24_0098.wav|1|“Excuse me,”
DUMMY1/sn24_0099.wav|0|she said to Prince Vlad.
DUMMY1/sn24_0100.wav|1|“Could you ask them to bring me some cheese and perhaps some celery?
DUMMY1/sn24_0101.wav|1|You see, I’m vegetarian.”
DUMMY1/sn24_0102.wav|0|Prince Vlad looked quite astonished.
DUMMY1/sn24_0103.wav|0|He clearly did not expect to entertain a vegetarian in his castle.
DUMMY1/sn24_0104.wav|1|“I know,”
DUMMY1/sn24_0105.wav|0|said the queen to her cousin.
DUMMY1/sn24_0106.wav|1|“Pathetic isn’t it?”
DUMMY1/sn24_0107.wav|0|And Prince Vlad said:
DUMMY1/sn24_0108.wav|1|“Well she looks like a horse, so it’s hardly surprising that she eats grass.”
DUMMY1/sn24_0109.wav|1|“Hey,”
DUMMY1/sn24_0110.wav|0|said Bertie.
DUMMY1/sn24_0111.wav|1|“How dare you say that about Beatrice?”
DUMMY1/sn24_0112.wav|1|“How dare I?”
DUMMY1/sn24_0113.wav|0|Said Prince Vlad.
DUMMY1/sn24_0114.wav|1|“This is my castle, and I can say what I want to.”
DUMMY1/sn24_0115.wav|1|“Well I jolly well think you should say you’re sorry,”
DUMMY1/sn24_0116.wav|0|said Bertie. At the word,
DUMMY1/sn24_0117.wav|1|“sorry,”
DUMMY1/sn24_0118.wav|0|Prince Vlad’s little moustache twitched, and his ears went red.
DUMMY1/sn24_0119.wav|0|His eyes swivelled this way and that.
DUMMY1/sn24_0120.wav|0|It was clearly a word that he didn’t like  much.
DUMMY1/sn24_0121.wav|1|“Sorry?”
DUMMY1/sn24_0122.wav|0|He said under his breath.
DUMMY1/sn24_0124.wav|1|“I shall give you my apologies with a bullet at dawn.
DUMMY1/sn24_0125.wav|1|I challenge you to a duel!”
DUMMY1/sn24_0127.wav|0|said Bertie.
DUMMY1/sn24_0130.wav|1|Stop it!”