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I don't know about you, but does anyone just feel like they just don't care for the corporate work life in general? Being at everyone's beck-and-call, being thrown a hundred tasks with deadlines in your way, dealing and communicating with all sorts of "personalities", People blowing up your Slack/Discord, etc. I only just realized how much of a nightmare it is for an anxiety sufferer. And it doesn't even matter if it is your dream job, you still have to deal with the same shit. If it was up to me, I'd rob a bank or win the lottery and not work anymore. | You know how people say "oh, if I ever won the lottery, I'd still work, just so I'd have something to do with my time"?
Nah fuck that. I'd retire young and never look back |
[this drawing ](https://pasteboard.co/JJdb9Rn.jpg)
It represents my anxiety. There are maaaany more physical symptoms but i think it's a good form of synthesis. Please check It out! It might help you 🖤 | This is EXACTLY how I feel. I totally relate to this 100% |
After 5.5 years of off and on anxiety and depression, I finally addressed my issues with my doctor this morning. I’m going on medication and crossing my fingers that it helps me start living my life again.
I’m not sure if anyone actually cares, I just had to share. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
EDIT: wow this post was a lot more popular than I thought it would be! Thank you everyone!! I feel so much better and like there’s finally a light at the end of the tunnel (or at least a start). I’m happy to answer any questions anyone might have or just share my experience! You can send me a PM if you aren’t comfortable commenting here :) | I’m building up the courage to do this myself! Doesn’t help that the receptionists always ask what the problem is to see if you’re even worthy of talking to a doctor! |
Even if the person doesn't matter in your life?
I get anxious and ruminate and try to think of a response I could've said back. | Yes, and the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that...for weeks, sometimes months |
It’s not just getting really breathless and panicky for a short period of time, or being scared to go into social situations. It’s feeling breathless for days, it’s headaches, dizziness, poor memory, no appetite, it’s all these physical symptoms that just add to this feeling hovering over you that there’s something wrong all the time like a cloud. i’m sorry for ranting but i just needed to get this out | And panic attacks aren't always so obvious like hyperventilating and rocking back and forth. Sometimes they're feeling ill and being frozen and unable to speak while your mind is racing with things you know aren't true but also can't stop thinking. Sometimes I will literally freeze in social situations where I want to speak but it feels like there's an actual wall stopping me from speaking.
It's so awkward trying to explain anxiety to people who don't have it. This post is so relatable and I'm sorry you have to deal with any of these anxiety symptoms. |
Wish me luck!
​
Edit: Thanks for all your kind comments, I love you <3 | For some reason i read "i am going to be a psychologist", but yea good luck and have fun dude. |
Double annoying: Because we're always fine after a panic attack, a panic attack is actually a sign that everything is fine and you're not in any danger.
But its still terrifying every time. I hate panic attacks. | Couldn’t agree more with this! “Hey, that pain in my arm wasnt actually a heart attack” *3 months later, pain in arm* “Holy shit it’s a heart attack* |
1. tongue cemented to the roof of your mouth? not only are you tensing your jaw, you’re constricting the muscles in your throat. this can make it feel like it’s closing, and can make you swallow more air which in turn can make your stomach hurt. let your tongue rest.
2. head feel heavy as hell? kinda dizzy and wobbly? like a band wrapped around your head?
tension headaches. your neck doesn’t wanna hold up your head anymore. before freaking yourself out. focus on your neck and shoulder muscles, are they sore as hell? move your neck around. drop your shoulders. massage them. watch how fast your head clears up.
3. feel gassy? like you need to burp or fart or something? you just might. get on your knees, put your ass in the air and relax that butt. drink club soda. do yoga. being too gassy can keep an anxious person in fight or flight.
4. speaking of butts, are you clenching your butthole really tight for no reason? mhm. your body thinks it’s in danger. relax that thing.
5. let your damn tummy hang out. no one cares. give your guts some room to breathe. then breathe WITH that tummy, not your chest.
6. PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. BREATHE OUT. DEEP BREATH OUT. HOLD YOUR BREATH.
THEN BREATHE IN. YOU SHOULD BE BREATHING IN HALF AS LONG AS YOU BREATHE OUT. YOUR LUNGS KNOW WHAT TO DO, BREATHE RIGHR FOR THEM.
you can’t relax your mind if your body is not relaxed. check these off. then calm your mind. i hope they help. ❤️
Edit: regarding #1, i did NOT think i would have to point this out because i believe in the intelligence you guys have but, your tongue naturally sits on the roof of your mouth. by saying “cemented” i tried to relay that putting an unnecessary amount of pressure on the roof of your mouth can keep you in fight or flight or tense. not just lightly holding it there. again, thought my choice of words put that message across. i apologize to Mew zealots everywhere. thank you. | I've had anxiety for so many years that when I let my tummy out it literally feels unnatural and I've never attributed it to anxiety. Holy shit. |
I got jealous, of my own phone being able to close all open tabs with just one button.... Yep it's one of those nights.... | This is basically what antipsychotics e.g. quetiapine are like. Can't have racing thoughts if you can't have *any* thoughts \*taps head\*.
But, personally, I find mindfulness can sort of achieve this with sufficient practice. It's less a "Close All Tabs" and more a "Task Manager", where you open up to the thoughts chasing you, recognise them simply as just thoughts, and let them pass on through as you ever-eternally return your focus to the present senses/breath/whatever. |
I feel permanently changed by everything that's happened this past year. I am exhausted. I feel bitter and angry and sad. I have never hated people the way I do now. There are times that I feel like going outside and just screaming at the sky until I can't anymore. And I feel gaslit by the people around me who want to pretend that nothing is wrong.
I'm very lucky that the events of this year haven't had a huge direct impact on me - I have a job and a place to live, my loved ones are alive. But it feels like everything else is just a giant fucking nightmare. All I want to do is sleep and pretend I don't exist. I don't think I'm ever going to be completely okay after this, even if things do someday become "normal" again, whatever that even means. | Yup. I’ve been having random “breakdowns” where I just burst into tears. I don’t think the scope of the past year has fully sunk in for me yet. Like I can’t fully process it because it’s still very much happening. Today was the worst day of the pandemic yet for my area. |
Just in case nobody has told you in a while, unclench your teeth. Let your tongue come down from the roof of your mouth. Relax your shoulders. Take some deep breaths through your nose, hold them for a few seconds, and release them. Now, just breath until you’re able to sink in to your bed or your seat with your eyes closed. | Ooof I needed this. Jaw clenching and tight shoulders are my bad habits! |
I haven’t left my house for nearly 3 months because my anxiety and physical symptoms have been so severe. Yesterday I felt okay enough to at least give it a go, so I did.
I was only out for about 6 or 7 minutes- but it felt good! I went to the store near my house and picked up some gum and a drink.
I even cried a little on my way home because I was so proud. Hopefully this is the start of some big changes for me | Rewording here:
>I was only out for about 6 or 7 minutes- but it felt good!
I was out for about A WHOLE 6 or 7 minutes AND it felt good!
So proud of you! A little rewording boost how awesome your steps truly are! |
I get anxiety. I get a full on attack every 4/5 months that debilitates me for a couple of days.
I feel for those of you dealing with this fucked up condition in a daily basis.
I honestly don’t know how you do it. Feeling like this day in day out.
I take my hat off to you guys ❤️ | It really helps my day to see this post. Due to my anxiety I’ve been having a terrible week, and seeing somebody acknowledge how hard it can be makes me feel a bit better, knowing people don’t doubt what I go through. |
I did it, i finally hit a year of being clean. Its been really hard but i finally did it. Now that im a year clean i can finally get my scars covered with tattoos that iv been wanting. I made a promise that if i was clean for a year i could get them covered! No i just gotta start saving. This is a massive step for me. Im proud of myself | Yay I’m so happy for you!! Definitely deserving of those tattoos :) |
I hear a lot of people with anxiety talk about having anxiety attacks or panic attacks, but it’s never really been that way with me. I just seem to constantly be on edge with everything, even small stuff, and every once in a while I’ll have “waves” of increased anxiety for a few days. Does anyone else have mild or moderate stress at all times instead of actual anxiety attacks? | Completely my experience. I have panic attacks sometimes but rarely, though when I do have them they're catastrophically bad.
Mine is more as you said, constantly being on edge and sometimes I'll have waves of panic that makes my whole body clench up, my mind races and I get cold. I also constantly focus on random bodily feelings, aches or pains and worry I'm dying. Good times. |
I’m a 26 y/o and for the first time since high school I was able to go for a walk at a public park by myself!
Last December I tried to take my life because of my social anxiety and depression. 10 months later I was able to conquer my fears!
I took advice from a friend as my anxiety was starting to feel uncontrollable. I started to drive to the park every morning, but couldn't get out of the car. I continued driving there every morning to attempt to make myself more comfortable with my surroundings. The morning I got out of the car I was feeling scared stepping out of the car, but as I started walking a sense of pride came over myself. I was so happy I made it this far that I continued to walk and walk and walk and got to experience a joy in myself that was long overdue!
I started to get into a routine, journaling (writing three things I love about myself, + and - things that happened throughout the day, three short term goals I want to accomplish), walking, meditating, etc. I’m just so darn proud of myself!
One baby step at a time!
Edit: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE KIND WORDS! This means so much to me. My goal was to share my experience and maybe it could help others. You guys are all so kind :) | GOOD JOB !! c:< |
The interview process was grueling, it was 3 hours long and I had to be interviewed on zoom by three different directors. I was sweating, my throat kept closing, and I kept freezing which felt like for hours but they said I did excellent. I'm going to be making almost twice what I'm making now and it's salary. I've never had a salary position in my life. I'm a single mom and I've been on food stamps and utility assistance for the past year. This is going to be absolutely game changing for me and my family. I'm SO proud of myself! I've had debilitating anxiety, depression, and ADHD for years so believe me when I tell you that anything is possible!!!! | Congratulations! So happy for you (whoever you are lol) 🎉🎉🎉 |
I don’t know who needs to hear this but im sure most of you do. It’s going to be ok. You’re great. You have so much to give to the world. We’ll be lucky to see it all | Is it going to be? I am kind of tired tbh |
I get this everyday of my life. I can never live in the moment. I’ll be having fun for a second and then i’ll remind myself that i have to do something the next day and it makes me anxious, restless, annoyed and stressed the whole time.
Do you guys experience this kind of anxiety? If so, how do you deal with it?
How do you learn to live in the moment and not for the next day? | I used to. Here's why it happens and how you can stop it.
The reason why is that you have trained your mind (and in reality, it has been trained by outside forces) to look at future events critically. If you're like me, you think of everything that can possibly go wrong when you go out, you think about hard it'll be, how tired you'll be. What if you miss the bus? What if there's traffic? What if the other person is late? What if what if what if.
What if is the poster child of the anxious thought. It can seem like a good idea, to prepare yourself for the next days tasks, but our problem is that we only ever think *negatively* about the next day.
But if doing things was ALWAYS negative, you wouldn't ever do things.
So try this instead. Start to visualise what you need to do tomorrow entirely positively. Instead of thinking worst case, start to think best case. Imagine seeing your friend, and they're super happy to see you. Imagine the food you'll eat. Imagine the fresh air, blah blah. Just go through the next days task, imagining it entirely possible.
Anxiety and excitement feel quite similar when low level. So it's possible to reconfigure your mind to interpret that anxious feeling as just being excited for the next day.
After you complete the day, get some post it notes. Write three notes about the things you enjoyed that day, put em in a jar or something.
Remember, anxiety occurs in your mind, and it colours your reality. But the same can be said for positive emotions. It's why so many people in life talk about it. If you start to think positively, your body will react as if something positive is happening.
You can do it, you can cope, it's not too much for you!
If you're still at a point where the anxiety is just too high to do this stuff, don't worry. You might need a little bit of CBT first, I found that helped me a huge amount. You might need to learn and practice some mindfulness techniques and meditation.
But it's entirely possible to rewrite your brain, so don't worry. If you keep going, keep trying, you can make it. |
I don’t know why this is so funny to me.
My psych told me a long time ago panic attacks do genuinely burn calories like workouts do so it’s not wrong to count it that way but it is slightly jarring when my Fitbit buzzes to congratulate me on how many minutes I’ve spent working out today when I was actually just hyperventilating in the changing room at Plato’s Closet. | My therapist told me once that humor can go a long way in dealing or coping to a degree. I figure if I can joke about my anxiety, I’m not letting it completely control me. |
If I could make one wish to a genie or and type of dream… it would be to never have anxiety again | Shit without anxiety I'd probably be wealthy anyways. I've lost so many opportunities due to being too anxious to go after what I wanted. Being rich is also a bit about luck but still, there are tons more opportunities out there for people that don't have to deal with shit like mental health problems. |
And I think that's where my anxiety started. | thought that was a normal thing |
Edit: This has become one of those posts where I can’t reply to everyone individually but I will do my best.
Thank you for the rewards | Once in a while... Yes |
I’m sorry for that horribly constructed sentence. I’m a weird split between extroverted and introverted, but I LOVE having a day or two to myself to just do whatever I’d like in the comfort of my cozy home. However, my anxiety makes it SO hard to do that sometimes, and the guilt of doing ‘relaxing’ things when I should be doing other things, and my lack of ability to concentrate, my angry thoughts, all tend to sweep up that day full of potential and curb stomp it on the ground. I end up crying, getting nothing done, and also not being able to relax, so then I’ve wasted a day and now I feel 100x worse about myself.
Does this happen to anyone else?
EDIT: Thank you all for your replies. It definitely makes me feel less alone in all this. You guys are the best. 💗 | You're not alone. I work 6 days a week, always looking forward to that day off but when it's *finally* there, my depression and anxiety hit the hardest. It's very tiring. |
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJJJJJJJJJJ IVE BEEN WORKING FIVE TEN HOUR SHIFTS IN A ROW IM SICK OF FORCING MYSELF TO SOCIALIZE IM SICK OF WORRYING ABOUT DOING THINGS WRONG I HATE WORKINGGGGGGGGGG THESE BITCHES DONT EVEN PAY ME ENOUGH FOR ME TO EAT | Yeah i think this is justified. 10 hours is a long day. I wasnt at work last week for most of it because i couldnt keep my shit together. Im back to work tomorrow after a week and i feel the absolute dread |
Seriously, I don’t understand how people aren’t absolutely terrified of driving. You’re inside a three-ton metal death machine surrounded by other death machines, all speeding down a narrow strip of concrete in close proximity to one another. One tiny slip up, just the slightest bit of drift, could kill or horribly maim you and everyone else around you. If you do cause a crash, you could be left dead, debilitatingly injured, or with a lifetime of guilt for hurting someone else.
I hate seeing people get mad at me when I make a mistake. I hate wincing in fear when I have to squeeze between a parked car and the opposite lane, praying I don’t hit someone. I hate when people tailgate me when I’m at the speed limit or slightly above. When I see children walking dangerously close to the road I’m terrified they’ll trip and end up under my wheels, with me not having time to brake. There are so many variables and the risks are so high. How people enjoy it is beyond me.
Anyone else feel like this? | I definitely do. I still don't have a license. Just the thought of driving sends my anxiety way up. My biggest fear is that I'll make one tiny mistake and ruin someone's life. I don't feel like I can trust myself to not make that mistake. I'm also super scared of police. I'm not sure how/if I'll ever get over this. |
Keep informed on key updates and take the medical advice seriously (distancing, washing hands, etc).
But trust me, do NOT be watching the news 24/7, googling it all the time and scrolling World News subreddit constantly for updates. **This will destroy your mental health.**
People who don't have anxiety are panicking, so what the hell do you think those with anxiety will behave like?
It's not worth it. I haven't watched the news in 2 days and I've now put several subreddits on block. Honestly my anxiety is WAY less! It really does make a difference. | Amen to that. I keep my focus local, so I know what I'm supposed to be doing in my city/surrounding region. I don't need to know what's going on in another country that I'm not in, and not going to be in anytime soon, at this moment - not for a lack of caring, but because I need to keep my blinders on. |
It’s probably something like sensory overload.
but it’s just this strong agitation that overpowers everything else and you just want everyone to shut up.
like the only thing that will fix it is sitting in a dark room in silence and crying.
I hope you guys can relate at least a little bit | I can relate to that a bit. Sometimes I'll be in a room with a TV, and all the sudden, even if the volume wasnt changed, it will become way too loud for me. And then I'm like panicking searching for the remote as fast as possible to turn it down (or get someone else to turn it down) because the sound is driving me crazy. |
I can’t believe it. I’m 28 and live with my parents because I’ve never had the balls to get a job. But today I had an interview and it went well! I feel like there’s a pretty decent chance I get the job. I just can’t believe it. I never EVER thought I’d get here.
UPDATE: I GOT THE JOB!!! Oh my god!!! | Thanks so much for all the congratulations everyone! I’m still in shock.
Also, if I can do it, I promise ANYONE can! Never give up! |
No matter how good I do at work, how many compliments I get, I can't shake the feeling that I am on borrowed time. That eventually they will figure out I shouldn't be there. That I am one bad day, one bad call, one mistake away from the end.
Every time my boss says "can I talk to you for a minute?" My heart rate spikes. | I think this is called Imposter Syndrome, you feel like you’ve tricked people into thinking you’re doing a good job/you’re a good person. Don’t listen to that voice! Listen to the facts. You still have your job. Every day. |
Apologies in advance for the long post. This is something I've been struggling with for a while, so I'm hoping that by sharing my experience, maybe I can finally legitimize what I've been going through.
I have been having what I now know to be panic attacks since I was very young. Over the past few years, they have been getting worse and more frequent, and most often crop up when I'm out of the house (especially when I'm at work.) For a long time, I actually wasn't sure that they *were* panic attacks, because my doctors/therapists always described something very different from what I experienced.
Contrary to what I was told by my doctors, I often find that I can function (or at least appear to) perfectly well during a panic attack. My heart is racing, my hands are shaking, my chest feels tight, I feel like my knees will give out with every step I take... and yet I can take a phone call at my desk and sound totally calm and professional. I can greet clients and smile and make small talk, and no one around me can tell that something's wrong. (It's almost like I do these things on autopilot, because later, I find that I usually can't remember much of what happened or what was said.) Afterward, when I don't have to put on my "brave face" anymore, I feel physically and emotionally exhausted; the shaking and chills take a long time to subside, and I sometimes cry uncontrollably at trivial things.
I suppose I should add that a lot of my anxiety rests in not wanting people to be mad at me, or not wanting to let people down. Even when I'm feeling really anxious or depressed, I have trouble asking for the time/space I need to take care of myself because I don't want to upset anyone or make them think I'm incompetent. So, I guess it makes sense that even when a panic attack comes on, I still feel compelled to push those feelings down and force myself to appear "normal."
I am pretty wary of speaking to doctors/therapists about these types of attacks, because on more than one occasion, I have been told that I'm totally wrong and they absolutely **cannot** be panic attacks, because if they were, I'd be hyperventilating and I wouldn't be able to control them so well. I feel like they think I'm just being overdramatic and looking for attention. Sometimes it really gets to me, and I start to worry that maybe I *am* just being dramatic and I don't "deserve" to call them that because there's nothing wrong with me. It's to the point where even if I'm with someone I trust (i.e. my husband or my mom) I usually don't tell them if an attack comes on because I feel like if I did, they wouldn't believe me; from the outside, I'd appear to be perfectly fine.
Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this? I feel really alone, so I came to you, people of Reddit, hoping that you can help me find some closure.
EDIT:
Thank you all for your support, advice, and kind words. When I posted this I never imagined it would get this much attention. It’s so wonderfully comforting to know that I’m not the only one going through this. | Sounds more like an anxiety attack (which is different than a panic attack). When I'm having a panic attack, I can't really function well and you can tell I'm panicing, but when I'm having an anxiety attack, I can seem like I'm still functioning while I'm freaking out on the inside. |
I've had anxiety all my life and this year, especially after all the covid lockdowns, I noticed my anxiety and depression was significantly worse than usual. So I went on medication this time.
The first week was terrible but as it's settling in, my anxiety is disappearing. I had no idea that my anxiety was as bad as it was until it disappeared. Before the medication, if I had a problem at work or with another person, I would dwell on it for hours or sometimes days. I presumed I was just a sensitive person but I've realised it was the anxiety.
I thought my anxiety were just the attacks I had or when it was really bad that I couldn't leave the house, I did not realize I had it every single day. I must have just got so used to having anxiety all my life that it seemed normal to me.
I can actually deal with issues as they arise rather than having to tip toe around it. There is a big chuck of what I thought was my general personality that has actually turned out to be my anxiety. | Congratulations!!! Medication was an absolute godsend for me. I'd forgotten what it was like to be calm, to be *me.* |
For trying your best.
For making the phone call.
For answering the phone.
For not staying at home.
For putting in the effort.
For trying something new.
For reaching out.
For asking for what you want.
For taking a risk, any risk at all.
It may seem like a failure today, but these little experiences will pay dividends in your future. Don’t give up! | Thank you so much for this. I was doing really well and then got stuck in traffic on my way home and gave myself a lovely little anxiety attack. |
I’m a 22 year old guy and my anxiety was horrible a year ago. I was unemployed, my life ruled by anxiety. I couldn’t drive, go out with friends, see a movie, and for a while didn’t leave my room. It got so bad I was severely underweight and stayed in a psych hospital for a few days. I began to see a therapist who did CBT 3 times a week, plus saw a psychiatrist and got on the right medication.
Now I work in a big hospital operating room as a technician full time, I drive all the time, go on dates, and I start school to be an EMT Monday. Today I was assisting during a gastric bypass. I was fully scrubbed in, holding a camera where I have to be dead still, and it’s just me and the 2 doctors, all crammed around this patient. It wasn’t the first time I assisted during this surgery, but it was my first time with this doctor, who’s notoriously vicious, and at one point shit started to hit the fan. The room got silent, tensions where high, and my anxiety skyrocketed. My mask started to fog up and I was sweating, but I can’t touch my face and contaminate my gloves, so I was literally trapped. Then I remembered everything I had learned, I started to focus on my breathing and the work the doctor was doing. I thought to myself encouraging thoughts, and within a minute my anxiety dropped back down, and we ended up completing the surgery. The best part? The doctor told me I did a great job, something even the nurses had rarely ever heard him say to someone.
The point of this post? To look at where I was a year ago, basically bedridden from anxiety. Now I live a very full life and do things that I want to, not that my anxiety lets me do. You CAN improve and get your life back. If I did it, any of you can do it. The biggest advice I can give is please, get help. I was terrified but it saved my life. I still go to therapy once a month, and I’m still on my medications, and there is absolutely no shame in that.
I hope this post maybe inspired even one of you. Dealing with anxiety has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I failed at times but didn’t stop trying. No one has to live like this, and no one has to do it alone. I wish everyone here the absolute best of luck conquering your inner demons, and I believe in you. If anyone has any questions feel free to ask, and my PMs are always open to help anyone! | So proud of you! This is amazing. So glad you fought your way to get to where you are |
I understand anxiety is a common thing and happens to everyone. But it’s still an incredibly invalidating thing to hear. I’m not sure everyone spends over half an hour picking out an outfit, can’t get on the bus by themselves because they’re irrationally afraid of pulling the stop cord wrong, or overthink everything, down to how long they should toast their bread for.
I don’t think I’m some special case or anything, I know many have it much worse. I often excuse my constant worrying by prefacing to someone that I have anxiety, and hate when they just say “oh well everyone has anxiety”.
I know that, but sometimes, I wish someone would just say “thank you for telling me.”
Sorry for the rambling to whoever actually read this.
EDIT: Thank you all so much for responding to my little rant. I’ve been cooped up in my apartment because of COVID feeling very much alone. I’m glad to know I am not alone in how I feel :-)
EDIT2: wow, I was shocked when just a few people replied. thank you everyone for commenting. i do want to say I feel no malice towards those who comment those things about anxiety, but I also think it goes to show how important mental health education is. I know when people say these things they come from a good place :) | Exactly! There's a difference between feeling anxious and having an anxiety disorder. Everyone gets anxious. It doesn't affect everyone's day to day life. |
I always get Sunday blues and anxious about mondays... but after having a few weeks off work for christmas, I feel so sick about going back to work tomorrow... even though I'm still "working from home". It has ruined my mood the whole weekend, I feel so nervous and down and on edge.
I just want to call in sick forever and hide in bed...
😓
I hate lying in bed at night wide awake worrying about the morning... I hate the feeling of worrying about not sleeping and it making the situation worse.
Has anyone found a way to combat sinday blues / work anxiety after time off?
Sending love to everyone else facing Monday...
*Edit: thank you everyone for your kind messages and replies. I love the phrase "Sunday Scaries", I'll be using that!
I survived the night (barely)... horrible nights sleep.
I think I will start trying meditation. Even though I am on medication that helps my anxiety,I have so much trouble switching my brain off at night.
We can do it! 💙 | For what it’s worth, I get the Sunday Scaries every week. Always have and it’s only gotten worse as my jobs have become increasingly stressful. But on nights like tonight, when I dread my alarm going off in the morning, I remember this:
I have had dozens and dozens of bad days at work. A handful of terrible ones. A few that have really stuck with me. And I’ve survived each and every one.
Tomorrow I’ll go to work, I’ll do my best, I might have a shit situation with a client, but I’ll get through it and afterwards, I’ll be relaxing and playing video games and enjoying what I need to remind myself is “my actual life.”
We’ve done it a million times before. We’ll do it again. |
First of all, you are not a burden. You can’t control this monster named anxiety. Just by surviving every day you are doing amazing. Don’t be ashamed to struggle. It’s okay. You are doing a good job. Second, I just wanted to say that we will get through this. Every day is a new day. One day at a time. I just wanted to share some things that have helped me lately. Sending everyone virtual support and hugs. 💟 | Thanks so much <3 |
That moment when you wake up and your heart immediately starts thumping because you realize that you're going to have to deal with stress again today. Ugh. | I lucid dream, so sometimes I get a little bit addicted to having absolute control and sleep more than I should... |
Hi. I’ve struggled with this on and off since I was a young teen. I grew up in the suburbs with immigrant parents and one older sibling who was always out with huge groups of friends or gfs and never home. My parents never ever went out (socializing felt like a burden to them, didnt have too many friends, couldn’t spend too much money) holidays were just another day at home, never anything special. it wasn’t until the last decade now that all kids are grown and they’re retired that they started traveling the world and taking up hobbies and making friends. When I was a kid and I complained about feeling cooped up at home, they couldn’t relate to my anxiety. I always felt like my close friends always had “other groups” of friends or huge families where there was never a weekend or day they’d be home moping. always had groups of friends besides our core friend group, so on random occasions where every person was occupied, it always hit me how extremely lonely I feel.
now, as an adult it still hits me here and there. Everyone knows I’m an extreme introvert and love being home. but lately I’ll be home for 3-4 days straight, can’t bring myself to leave my 1000sq ft apt I live alone in to get the mail, take out trash, or drive to run errands as my simple “socialization for the day.” I have a bunch of things I could be doing outside, errand-wise, or at home (chore-wise, ex: decluttering closets, getting some freelance projects done, job hunting, etc.) but instead I can’t bring myself to do any of them and fixate on my loneliness.
I let the dishes pile up, eat junk food/instant ramen, just waste hours on YouTube or the internet, sit around crying for no reason, and when people text me to hang out I decline. I don’t understand what’s going on with me, it’s like I’ve reached such a level of being a slob that I can’t bring myself to get ready in 20 min to go outside and hang. My family will even ask to have dinner or something, and the thought of having to coordinate 3 different parties and choose a restaurant and think about 5 hours of productivity I won’t get back (though let’s be real, I won’t be doing anything productive) gives me extreme anxiety.
I’m torn between wanting to bask in solitude and being miserable being so lonely. Can anyone at all relate or is this an issue specific to me since childhood? Am I just a lazy POS and that’s my problem? | Very much struggling with this now. I spend all day at home studying, but when I get invited out, I just think about how nice it would be to stay home. Social interactions are exhausting |
I dropped out of high school at 17 due to consistent and debilitating panic attacks and thought I would never be able to go back. After two years in an academic upgrading course I am finally able to apply to college with a 90% average. Feeling so fucking proud. Don’t give up. Ever. | This is so awesome, go you! I dropped out of high school, got my GED, nearly flunked my first foray into college. Got my shit sorted and under control, went back at 30, graduated at 33 and then completed two master’s after. IT CAN BE DONE! You are amazing and you will crush it! |
i maybe kinda lost my job? and maybe kinda have to talk to him about it?
oh and also i have a fair bit of studying to do.
so imma stay up late and listen to mazzy star and pretend i don't exist | Well this hit home.
I don't want tomorrow...today to come.
Lost my job pretty suddenly too on Friday. Have to deal tomorrow. Ugh |
I went to therapy just like you suggested, and I feel a lot better. I’m 13 years old and I have to thank Reddit for the support. From the bottom of my heart thank you. | Ah congratulations!! I work at a children's mental health agency. This is great. I'm proud of you! For other young people who may not have access to therapy (you can get referred through your pediatrician or school counselor), [this is a workbook for coping with anxiety.](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vaCALAfJrvdsNd_fpDuY4i07CeU-Qsyy/view?usp=drivesdk) |
Hey team!
I hope your holidays went well, and if not, I’m glad to tell you that you survived them and are here to talk about it!
If you’re here looking for a particular thread, please check out the following:
* [2020 Umbrella Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/comments/h036q3/2020_umbrella_thread/)
* [Good News Coronavirus Thread 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/comments/ioy7uo/good_news_coronavirus_thread_2/)
* [Coronavirus Discussion](https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/comments/izpdus/coronavirus_discussion_thread/)
I’d also like to remind everyone that we have an active Discord server: https://discord.gg/9sSCSe9
I wanted to talk about breathing.
A very common technique for coping with anxiety is to breathe deeply - you’ve probably heard this or seen it in an infographic. This is indeed a helpful technique, but unfortunately I don’t think it is explained well and I have often seen users say that it can make their anxiety worse. This comes as no surprise when in response to anxiety or a panic attack all you hear is “take a breath!” Great, I’ll do that, thanks. I’m going to break down the proper technique piece by piece in the hope that it helps someone out.
When you are anxious many people feel like they are hyperventilating and the answer to that is because you tense up and your breathing becomes shallow and “high up” (your breaths are filling your upper lungs) which makes the anxiety worse. You are, in fact, hyperventilating, but you can fix this. You are in control of your breath as much as it may not feel like it in a moment of panic.
What you want to do is called [diaphragmatic breathing](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diaphragmatic_breathing) (or belly breaths if you’re a normal person and not in a medical profession). To demonstrate this, sit up in a comfortable position and place a hand gently beneath your ribs and on your upper belly - concentrate on expanding this area with each inhale. This is the breathing you are aiming for.
What we will be doing is commonly called “[box breathing](https://imgur.com/0N53Gah)”.
Taking belly breaths:
1. Slowly inhale on a count to four (I find through the nose most effective but breathing through the mouth will do you no harm - just keep it slow).
1. Hold the breath for a count to 4
1. Exhale for a count to 4
1. Hold the empty lungs for a count to 4.
Repeat until your anxiety eases or your breathing resumes a normal rhythm.
That’s it! I hope this explanation helps out someone, I know it certainly helped me. Practice it when you’re calm and the next time the anxiety ramps up, give it a try. I’ve also used this technique to steady myself for taking low-light photos and building card towers. Bonus.
Love,
Remy | While being anxious, there is a spike in heart beat, in my case 25-30bpm. Can this method help with that as well? |
I drove a sensitive car, went over speed bumps, through tight islands, and I nearly hit a curb but kept on going! I was told I did well for my first lesson! I'm so happy you guys. | That is actually really awesome!! I had anxiety get in the way of me learning to drive. So I've been slowly trying to get used to it again I took a break from driving just because I didn't have a car for a while.
Hope everything continues to go well! Keep it up |
I do it periodically | It's the main source of most of my anxiety. I think about mistakes I made 10 years ago and hits me like it happened yesterday. Trying to figure out how to let that shit go. |
I'm scared to post anything here. I can't count the number of times I've had an entire post/comment written out, and I delete it because I get scared. Getting downvoted is terrifying to me. If I have an opinion that might be umpopular, delete. It's not that I don't know how to express myself, I'm just scared to. | You'll be ok, have an upvote from me! |
Hi I don’t know if I’m alone but randomly while doing work i would get awkward thoughts or memory and I’ll cringe?
like noticeably cringe to the degree that if I was reading something, I would read it louder. Or I would say random things out load because of all the awkward energy.
Please tell me that I’m not alone
TLD;R I get physical reactions to thoughts
Edit: We got a nameee for ittt!!! It is called “cringe attacks” and you can find it on google! thanks u/Thy_Introvert
Edit 2: it’s most likely a form of intrusive thoughts. We all have stupid crazy thoughts, that’s ok and very normal. What may indicate a problem is when the existence of this thought begins to persist, bother you, affect your mood, your life or relationship with people. Having the though is no problem but your *reaction* to the though might indicate something bigger like OCD. Please stay safe and consult a professional if you think it indicates a deeper issue❤️ | Absolutely. With my OCD too, I will often physically clench my fist or like jerk a little or tense up in reaction to an intrusive thought. I've done the reading louder thing too. It's like to distract from the thought or something, I don't know, but I do the exact same thing, you're not alone! |
I have extreme anxiety with the phone. I don't know but it stresses me out. I got a call from my doctor and let it go to voicemail as usual. But I said fuck it. Practiced what I was going to say a million times and called back. I was shaking the whole time but I did it and I'm really proud of myself. I'm slowly exposing myself to social things and this was the first step! | I sometimes feel like I’m the only one that struggles as bad as I do about phone calls. I definitely feel your pain there.
Good job! |
I just found a folder of my old chat longs from age 12 to about 20. There's hundreds of files here.
I already think so much about the embarrassing shit I did back in my teenage years. Why not ruin any chance or repairing my social anxiety by reading every single one and committing them to long term memory? It'll be like suicide for my sanity
I already found one chat where I told one of my online-only female friends that I loved her... I was 13. | For each cringey thing you read, understand that it makes you cringe because you've learned something, and have grown as a person.
I suggest you use it to see how much you have grown. Imagine how much you'll have grown if you look back at your current self with cringe. :) Won't that future you be amazing? I think so! |
Honestly this happened to me, if you read my posts you’ll know I’m mostly recovered from having panic attacks and worrying about everything (6 months without a major panic attack woohoo!) I’ve come a long way with keeping on top of my diet, exercising regularly and forcing myself to be social with family and friends.
But I’ve been crazy happy the last couple of days due to finally quitting a job that made me miserable. Feeling confident and happy to be social and chat more to friends. I’m not used to feeling anymore than content for a few hours so to feel ecstatic for a few days made me feel like I was going crazy haha.
It goes to show I’m not used to any emotions in their extremes, including happiness. I feel like true comfort is being in a ‘meh’ mood.
After talking to a therapist in the past about this it’s actually very common, chronic anxiety disorders basically put all your energy into coping with one extreme emotion and when you recover it sometimes unveils a tendency to feel very uncomfortable with emotions you did not previously express... like anger, confidence, and happiness. And was actually a trigger for one of my relapses... I was convinced I was an aggressive person that was dangerous because in around 10 years of my youth i did not express anger, not because it was repressed, but because anxiety was my default reaction to everything! I’m not an angry person.. and after a lot of CBT I’ve come to accept all emotions that make us unique and often very confused people! I’m allowed to be happy. I’m allowed to be angry... and anxiety is ok in small doses too. | It sounds like you have really sorted your life out. Well done, that's awesome. |
idk why i get really anxious when I think of the jobs people would describe as their passions, where they're doing something new every day. It seems nerve wracking to me. It fills me with anxiety. Does anyone else feel like this? | I hate having to talk about goals on my annual performance eval. I have no goals. I have no ambition. I want to just do my job exactly the same every day and get paid and have nothing to feel anxious about. I don’t want to be challenged. I get bored sometimes but I like it better than the anxiety. |
Any help or advice would be great | “We suffer more in imagination than in reality.” is a great quote I’m trying to be more mindful of. |
In and out. You are alive after all :) | Sometimes I’m just driving along and I realize I’ve been holding my breath! This is a great reminder, thank you :) |
I tend to over think EVERYTHING from having to plan my trip to the store to my boyfriend not cuddling me before we go to sleep leaving me crying because I think he doesn’t love me anymore. It affects me so much in my life when sometimes it’s not even worth it, it’s just me entertaining a unrealistic thought. Everyday from the moment I wake up till I go to sleep I am talking to myself in my brain mostly it speaks negatively it makes me overthink everything I do. I am at the point where I know I am overthinking and entertaining unrealistic ideas but once it’s in my mind I can not get it out. I get these thoughts that somehow get into my mind and I won’t let go of it and keep digging at it and keeping the topic wondering in my mind all day or for days even. It can be something so small and I can’t focus on anything else but that one thing or something multiple things. I have tried to explain this feeling to people close in my life, I try to explain it as having multiple tabs open on your browser and you are running through the tabs clicking and opening every tab as if you are rushing a last minute research assignment jumping from tab from tab. Whenever i explain my over thinking they tell me “you’re just making yourself over think, you’re doing this to your self just stop overthinking” which makes no sense to me!! How can I just stop thinking?? i would love to but my brain is just always running. This happens even when I am trying to go to sleep which makes sleeping soo hard i have gone to the doctor for insomnia and depression but I have never thought these are the results and side effects of having tons of anxiety. It’s all a dangerous cycle I have fell in for years. Although at first i remember it being mostly depression and feeling of helplessness but these days it’s not even me getting anxious from being depressed because I wouldn’t say I’m depressed anymore but I just anxious, more than I ever have been. So I’m starting to see maybe it’s anxiety that is the stem for most of my other problems. I’m so tired of it effecting my everyday life. If you have any tips for making your mind not be so loud and controlling please leave comment I am so tired of letting myself bring myself down every single day. | Hey, I can't help but I can totally relate to your problem. I look forward to reading advice from whoever who's willing to give some |
This happens to me every day I come home from work. I'll have constant flash-backs to some cringy thing I said or did and I just sit on the couch and freak out and it makes chilling after work impossible.
It doesn't help that im super anxious around people so I'm always overanalysing myself at work and I'm constantly worried about coming across some type of way and so I don't say much (which i think probably just makes me seem rude anyway).
Is anyone else stuck being so critical over every interaction they have? And has anyone found anything that helps them wind down after interacting with people? I'm so exhausted mentally and it makes work hell.
Sorry for any formatting issues I'm on mobile. | Immediately after I do something deemed cringeworthy in my mind (which let’s be honest, when you have anxiety that can be a lot of things) I obsessively think about it and how people perceived it. It really is very crippling and I can’t even bare to think about the amount of hours I’ve spent criticizing myself because of this.
Try to tell yourself that you are just doing the best you can. You’re not doing anything cringeworthy. You’re just you. Take a deep breath (or as many as it takes, the kind where you feel it in the center of your chest) and try to be kind to yourself. I don’t know you but I bet you’re a great person to work with because it’s clear you’re not self-centered. I wish we were coworkers because we could commiserate about this together!
I hope it gets better for you. You’re doing your best and it’s ok to take up space and exist! Try to give yourself a little break if you can. I know it’s hard but it’ll get easier with time and practice. |
There's no more structure. There's no more rules. There's chaos everywhere and there's no end in sight. All the positive momentum I had built up before shit hit the fan is now gone. I'm barely keeping it together. I'm running out of money and I'm running out of medication. I'm terrified to go back to work because I know they won't protect me. I've become pre-diabetic in quarantine because of a culmination of bad habits, and I have no money to see a doctor about it.
​
I honestly don't know how to proceed. I'm frozen in fear of every option. I barely eat. I have no sleep schedule anymore. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't want to be here anymore. | Man im really sorry to hear that, this wont last forever, the light will eventually appear. Trust yourself and dont be scared! Be safe man you can with anything |
I know politics have gotten super crazy I'm the last few years, so I hope we can have a civil discussion. With the election so close and reading up on the crazy stuff going on, I'm terrified to be living in America. That's so wild and depressing to say! I feel my mental health is getting worse and I just want this to be over. I'm worried that this week will get crazy and there's nothing I can do. It's like reading a history book without knowing the outcome. How is everyone else coping through this week?
Edit: 2 things- thanks to all the replies. I've read each and every single one of them. It's a bit reassuring to see most people with the same views and worries.
I've also been impressed with the civility in this post. Also gives me a glimmer of hope for our society.
Make sure you vote. Democracy dies if we don't and right now that's more important than ever. | I live in DC and my husband works in politics. I’ve been a ball of anxiety for the past week. My city is literally boarding up in preparation for civil unrest. I do my best not to think about it because when I do it makes me sick. I’m ready for November to be over and it’s the 1st. |
The terror and panic spiral of health anxiety can’t stop until you stop scrolling through healthline, webMD, Mayo Clinic, and illness-focused forums. Give yourself a reprieve and put the phone down! Be proactive about your health, and maybe make a telehealth appointment with your doctor if you have ongoing concerns, but the internet will only ever offer you the worst case scenario. | I don't know how to stop...it's a compulsion. 😖 |
I don't really have any friends in school or in general because I'm very anxious and socially awkward so therefore nobody wished me a happy birthday today, so I was wondering could anyone wish me a happy birthday here, it would be really appreciated!
Thanks.
Update: I went bowling and had a nice day in the end, everyone's kind words, support and advice really made it a lot brighter! Thanks to everyone! | Have a very happy birthday! |
I *hate* when someone tells me that they have bad news. My stomach drops and all kinds of terrible scenarios run through my head. And 99% of the time the "bad news" ends up being something trivial like the grocery store is out of garlic powder. I wish people didn't use that phrase so lightly. | That or “I need to talk to you” via text while I’m at work. NOPE. I will obsess over it all day 😩 |
I'm scared of having a debate with any of my friends because I'm afraid that they'll use that as a reason to not bother with me anymore, like they've been looking for a valid reason to get away from me so they'll take any small argument as a reason to escape. Every time I get even into the smallest of debates, I'll *always* feel like the bad guy, even if I didn't cause it or even if I'm right. I hate making people upset so I'd rather admit I'm wrong (even if I'm not) or apologise just so it pacifies the other person. I always visualise fake or past arguments in my head where I say what I actually wanted to say and it makes me feel angry but it's also empowering because I'm saying what's on my mind without the consequences of saying it for real. Am I just spineless or is this something that others feel? | It’s totally normal! I had a lot of issues with confrontation when I was a little younger and still do to some extent, and going back over how arguments could have gone was pretty common for me then. I still do now, as do a lot of people I think- even if you don’t avoid a confrontation it’s pretty common to remember things later you wish you’d remembered to say at the time that would’ve made a killer argument.
Going over it in your head can be therapeutic to an extent, but thinking about explaining your position and actually doing it are as different as thinking about your favourite food and eating it; both are good feelings but only one will actually help you out. So my advice would be not to worry about it or be ashamed of it- what you’re doing is perfectly normal, but at the same time if you want to really put your views out there then don’t be satisfied with your current habits because they won’t get you where you want to be. Overcoming confrontation difficulties can be incredibly hard but even the tiniest steps can feel far more rewarding than any crutch strategies for dealing with these situations after the fact. |
And feel like the person next to you is annoyed by the loud music but choosing not to tell you to turn it down?
Edit: omg guys
I'm fairly new to reddit so this is exciting for me! I'm not actually diagnosed with anxiety, but I still feel anxious and think the thoughts most of you think. So thank you for so many upvotes! I did not expect this! 😁😁🤗🤗 | Sometimes I'm scared I breathe too loud and I focus on it so much I cant not check |
No hate to people that do feel pride in getting over this. I do feel like you should. I just wish I wasn't in this situation | Part of getting better is accepting and doing stuff anyways. Day by day. Not accepting your present state will only make it worse in the long run. |
I got my first acceptance letter today!!! High school was a pretty shit experience for me. Anxiety held me back and lead to me missing things like football games and prom. It got so bad that I had to get home tutors for two years because I couldn’t even manage to leave my house. For awhile I considered dropping out because I literally believed it was impossible to continue. But I couldn’t be more proud right now. I’m IN school for senior year, I WILL be attending my graduation ceremony, and I AM GOING TO COLLEGE!!! Hell yeah!!! So if anyone feels like giving up, trust me if I can get into college with my attendance record looking the way it is, you can do pretty much anything.
Edit: Thank you to everyone who took time to share your experiences and congratulations. It means so much and it’s encouraging to no end. You all are such lovely people💙💙 | Congrats! This is a oportunity to start from 0, to be who you wanna be in a new atmosphere. I've been there, and it was scary, but I was able to get new fantastic friends, learn a lot and have a lot less social anxiety. This is great, you deserved it! |
I live around Koreans who think sighing is rude, and other people have mentioned that I sigh a lot especially when I am stressed, but it doesn't mean I am upset necessarily or displeased with the person I am with, I just do that to help myself think more clearly and get rid of the anxious feeling/dread in my chest and stomach. It usually works for a bit and then I have to do it again a few minutes later. I was not conscious that I did this until I moved to Korea and got scolded for doing this. Not doing it is almost unbearable physiologically though - I feel like I have to do it to release the sensation in my chest and stomach. Am I the only one? | I do it literally all day at work l, the engineer behind me must want to choke me out by now. I 100% feel where your coming from tho because it gives me that 2 seconds of security. FYI if they allowed me to program at work with a giant comforter on I would totally do it lmao |
Edit: wow i really expected to be roasted for calling myself empathetic. I had no idea so many people felt this way too and i feel much less alone. Wishing everyone peace | Yeah, it's usually because I feel like I'm supposed to drop everything and do whatever I can to help. As if I'm the one responsible for fixing everyone's problems (even the ones that only exist in my head). It is stupid and exhausting. |
Even though you feel scared, you are safe.
You are not alone.
You do not have to be afraid.
You will get better again.
You are loved.
You are in control.
You are not crazy.
You are doing your best.
Being strong doesn’t feel strong. The hard things aren’t easy. | "Being strong doesn't feel strong."
I'll keep that for life. |
I keep getting overwhelmed with thoughts of embarrassing things I did like 5 years ago. It comes with a wave of anxiety and the strong urge to crawl under a table or punch myself for doing something so stupid, and it's like I'm reliving all the cringe. | yep, constantly. the annoying thing is I'll often audibly cringe or call myself stupid or something out of nowhere. I probably look like I'm on drugs to innocent bystanders |
I'd done this a couple of months ago, and had received an overwhelming response. People still DM me looking to talk because of it. So many people just need to be heard. And so, here I am again. :) I plan on making this a more regular thing, maybe once a week. I need to clarify that I am NOT a doctor or a practicing psychologist, if you feel like you need urgent help, please please talk to a professional. They really do help. For anything else, I'm here for you, a friend, an ear. May you have a wonderful day. Much love. | I have a hard time with implications and implied things in speaking. Its caused a lot of problems for me and unintentionally hurt friends. Since I suck at such things I've always just tried to be direct.
Just two weeks ago a friend told me I had said something that hurt them. I asked when because that was completely out of character for me. Turns out she read into something I said.
I just...I've always tried to be direct. And now I've got panic attacks just thinking about trying to talk with them. I haven't actually vocally spoken with them in weeks. I used to daily. |
I was in my AP Psychology class today (Wednesday’s are online days so the school can clean) and my teacher said she wouldn’t be checking the chat because it gets too confusing. She started playing a video with a horrible echo and kids tried telling her in the chat, and I wanted to work up the courage to turn my mic on to tell her. I was shaking so bad, so I took a sip of water and quickly pressed the button thinking “OK I TURNED IT ON ITS NOW OR NEVER” and I told her and answered her questions and it GOT FIXED!! She even thanked me at the end of class for being the one to speak up. I’M SO HAPPY!!! | That's awesome!
Speaking up in online classes can sometimes be even more nerve-wracking than in-person classes, so that's amazing that you spoke up and don't regret it. |
I've been thinking about it so much lately: who could I have been if my anxiety wasn't constantly altering my decisions? I am in my mid 30s and I feel like I've wasted my life. I'm so ashamed of it. Which, of course, only gives me more anxiety.
DAE feel this? | Yeah all the time, it's one of the topics I ruminate on most often and has probably made my depression worse. I hate looking at old photos of me when I was younger because I feel like I've let *them* down, all because of the feeling of shame which you describe. |
As a US citizen, the shit happening this minute is..rly messing with my anxiety. What the FUCK. | It's bad but your mental heath needs to come first. Shut off the news and distract yourself with something if you need to. You don't need to follow this live, you can catch up later to see what happened. |
Edit:I’m not sure if anyone will see this edit, but thank you all for commenting on this post. Reading all your comments has been comforting, but also heartbreaking knowing there are so many of us that struggle with something that seems so simple(being around other humans) I went to bed last night feeling very defeated as I gave into my anxiety yet again and bailed on a social event to stay home and be alone. However, I woke up this morning to see all these responses and they honestly made me emotional because now I see so many people struggling with this same thing! There is probably ppl even in my own apartment building that feel this way and I can’t reach them! I can’t find them because of my anxiety holding me back. This viscous cycle has to be broken.... We are weakest alone. We need each other. We can not accept isolation. | Yes. This is actually pretty common.
If you’re like me, being around others can make you nervous, unless they’re very close to you. It takes a lot of energy to keep up acceptable social interaction.
If you’re comfortable talking about your anxiety, it can be surprisingly helpful to tell people you trust about this. It lessens the chance of hurt feelings, and it can be incredibly reassuring to have a friend look after your well-being.
There are a few people these days that will ask where my energy is at before going out, and will offer to leave with me if I need to. That assurance alone is often enough to make me feel more relaxed.
You’re not broken. Your energy just has different parameters. Being social is draining.
It helps to practice. Eventually, you’ll find a method hat works for you. Just don’t give up. |
I noticed I don't always make complete sentences. I think it's stress or anxiety related. Certain topics will bring it up.
There are people making fun of me for it. I know it's the internet. Trolls mainly. I don't pay them any attention. But I did realize I do that.
Is it just me? | I do it aswell mate sometimes sometimes I can’t form complete sentences and sometimes I think I’m having a stroke (I’m not btw) it’s all my anxiety my brain is thinking to much I’m then not paying attention to what I’m actually saying |
This was my first semester back at college after I overdosed on xanax from how anxious I was...I spent three and a half hours on my stats final, heart beating out of my chest and crying for almost the entire thing, running back and forth to the bathroom feeling like I was about to throw up...and I just got my grade back and...
I got a perfect score!! And an A in the class!!
Don’t let anxiety hold you back, you can do anything! | Congratulations! I'm really happy for you! |
I believe mine does. Every little mistake was the end of the world for my single mother who raised me and my siblings. I used to think it was normal to be screamed at and grounded for spilling stuff on the floor as a kid. Until now, as an adult I think it is pretty crazy how my mothers anger could go 0 to 100 that fast over children making stupid mistakes. And yes, I stopped telling my mother about details of my life due to the explosions that would commence. Sucks. | absolutely. nothing was ever good enough, I could always use a little more effort. I was called lazy when I was tired, inconsiderate when I was just clueless, ungrateful when I was not pleased... I try to think that my parents were genuinely trying their best, and some of the shitty behavior was also what they've experienced as children themselves. it's a daily exercise in patience and forgiveness.
kudos for figuring it out, OP. |
Saw this quote today and it needs to be shared. | I have heard this several times before and I just want to say this out loud for once rather than stifle it, let's call it an exercise in fighting my anxiety about how poorly it will be received.
I have epilepsy and anxiety. I deal with both on a daily basis, they are both powerful beasts that can take similar forms but that are inherently distinctly different. One key difference is this: anxiety is a cognitive function that can be harnessed and controlled; epilepsy is a biological process that, in most cases, cannot be halted through sheer willpower. I view it like being trapped in a metal room - with anxiety, the door has heavy resistance and at times seems impossible to open; with epilepsy the same door is locked, barred and spot-welded shut.
Please don't get me wrong, anxiety can be crippling and is a severe widespread problem that should not be treated lightly. My battles with both have been exhausting, but respectively very different. These experiences have taught me one extremely important difference between the two: anxious thoughts *must* must be faced to overcome anxiety, seizures do not have to be faced to overcome epilepsy.
To anyone out there with anxiety - you are not a victim, this sucks but you are not condemned to a life of these attacks/episodes. You *can* pull yourself out of thought-spirals, overwhelming anxious thought, etc. Maybe not this moment, maybe not next week or next year, but you can and with enough determination will do it. Please don't compare yourself as someone who has a condition that can only really be managed with medication, it's not true and not fair to yourselves in your fight against anxiety.
Once again, it is not my intent to cause controversy, rather to vent a bit and clear some misconceptions. I believe in you all and wish you peace and strength in your battles to come. |
25% of people will like you and nothing you can do will make them not like you.
25% of people won’t like you and nothing you can do will make them like you.
25% of people will like you but something you do could make them not like you.
25% of people won’t like you but something you do could make them like you.
You can’t really tell who is who in most cases and you have no control over who they are and how they react to you.
So it doesn’t make sense to try and figure it out or try to control it, just let it go. Someone’s reaction or perception of you is not your fault, just do your best and don’t let yourself get caught up using your imagination to guess what people are thinking about you.
Let me repeat the last part.
Don’t waste time and energy worrying about or assuming you know what anyone is thinking about you, using your imagination is most likely not accurate at all and especially if you have anxiety it can’t be trusted anyways.
You don’t need to respond to anything immediately, you don’t need to go out of your way to make sure someone doesn’t think the wrong thing in the majority of situations. It just doesn’t matter and it’s OK for people to be wrong!
So take a load off your mind and don’t let your imagination get the best of you. | Wait... WHERE IS THE FIRST 25%??? |
It's pretty simple and may seem obvious, but just make up your mind. That's it. Think about a thing, take in all the factors/risks, then *decide* what you're going to do.
Don't question it after that. You already know you spent the time ruminating over it, you already took in every detail, now stop the cycle of over/repetitive thinking and decide. I know it's easier said than done, but with some practice this can be so helpful.
Most fear/anxiety comes from the unknown, yeah? I think many people agree about that. We can never be sure what will happen in a future situation, so we tend to spin it *over* and *over* and *over* for no reason. Spinning it again won't make the answer any clearer, just make up your mind and stop. You'll see what happens when you get there, all that you can control is what *you* do leading up to it.
I really hope this can help some of you. I've struggled with GAD and many phobias/panic attacks for years. This has been the most impactful trick that I've used. If y'all can trust yourself, it can make the difference | Thanks for this tip!!! I bet it takes some getting used to? I always get caught in the self doubt and rumination trap it’s so hard to get out of it. I’ll remember this. 🥰 |
Throwaway account because...not sure if I’d like this tainting my public acc....
Am I the only one who gets the shits when I get anxiety?!? Along with the typical stomach feeling, restlessness, etc......it’s so annoying. ESPECIALLY if it’s anxiety when you need to go somewhere - come on body, I don’t have time for this!!!!! So annoying. | Yeah but it's like *different* shits than just the shits, ya know? It feels different.
I like to imagine I'm pooping out all my anxieties and it's all gonna be better cause I can flush that nasty out down the toilet, where it belongs. |
I don't mean like not being able to fall asleep because you're nervous but just every night purposely staying up so that the morning will arrive slower. Idk how to explain it but I stay up till like 7am every night because I don't want the next day to be here yet. I also stay up because I feel like I have so much to do before going to sleep but then I end up procrastinating it and not doing it and staying up for no reason. idk maybe someone can relate? | Yes.
It's like my brain doesn't want the day to end and tries to trick himself by staying up. |
Only when I'm asleep can I completely ignore all the body sensations (heart palpitations, tension, etc.). | Yes |
So I’ve barely been out in the last year since my mom died. Only feel good when I’m in my own home. BUT... today I just went to the gym ON MY OWN and stayed and worked out for a full hour. I honestly can’t believe I done it. When I got here I nearly bailed. But I had a pep talk in the bathroom mirror with myself and just said, fuck it, let’s fucking do this.
To anyone who feels like they can’t do something. Don’t rush yourself, take all the time you need to prepare yourself mentally but I promise you, you all have it in you to do whatever scares you. If I can, anyone can. And when you do, omg the high is incredible.
Go me 🙌🏻 | I feel you on this. I'm still having difficulty getting out of the house most days, the social climate in 2020 has not been great for my anxiety, which was bad even before all this.
Keep up the good work, and keep up the pep talks! You got this! |
IN MATH CLASS!! i’ve never in my entire life gotten an a in math class. i get the WORST math anxiety, and i cry and get so angry trying to do math on the daily. but i did it!! I DID IT!! | Good job! I'm sure it is the first of msny to come. |
With corona being what it is most therapists are doing session over the phone or in my case, Zoom.
It took a year to find a therapist who’s available to see me. And we met...sort of. The connection on their end was so bad I couldn’t hear a word they were saying. So the whole 60 minutes was spent saying: “what? Can you repeat that?” *garbled unintelligible speech* “I’m sorry I missed it again could you say it again” ect ect.
And it cost me $140. | Ask for a refund. Do you have insurance? You can report it to them too. |
I just wanted to say that it’s more than ok to start your day later. Some days are like that. It’s hard to find motivation especially when the anxiety is really bad. So do something you enjoy first. Like self care. My self care today is ice cream and going to a park and reading a book. Yay for getting dressed and getting out of the house despite dreading it. It wasn’t so bad and now I will do dishes, pat myself on the back, and call it a productive day so I can go binge watch a show. What do you guys do for self care or to get yourself moving on harder days? I’d love to hear about it. Sending good vibes!
EDIT: I don’t know how edits work I guess I just write in here? Thank you so so much for everyone who interacted with this post and shared their story. This is a wonderful community and you’re all doing great! And thank you so so much for the award. | And here I am just settling down thinking, "I've done enough to end my day at 3pm." Same vibes. |
I got every question right and now I can officially practice driving | I'm 24 and still haven't gotten mine yet, so congrats! I know what you're going through. |
Between the constant panic and worrying, the irritability, the non stop second guessing. The sometimes not being able to do normal every day things alone like shopping and driving. I feel like I’ll never have a solid relationship where someone understands me. I feel undeserving of love. There’s no way I could ever maintain a healthy relationship and the reality of this sucks. | I feel similar.
I do not feel undeserving of love, yet I am clear with myself that it ain’t easy to be with me. I‘m not jealous, not needy etc, but like you said, I have anxiety when it comes to shopping, or going to get together and my bf has to go alone often because I prioritiese my mental health over being at these events.
What I feel is that whenever I met someone in the past and the first love cloud blinds them, they say how they don’t mind, how it‘s not a Problem and they will never be annoyed by my anxiety and need to unwind alone more often than others - though I know better and tell them so (maybe I shouldn’t). And, surprise, after 6 to 9 months it starts to be a problem, maybe not one that gets said out loud a lot, but you feel if someone thinks „Why can‘t she be easy going, extroverted and social a bit more?“
It feels like partners start to try to change my after the first glow of being in love is over, and to me that means it isn’t love - the kind that you feel for someone unconditionally, take them as they are, as the person you met.
I really hope you find your person, the ones who isn’t only in love or has a crush on you, but who will love you more each day exactly how you are and support you. |
Small steps! Now I just have to remove the alcohol from the equation.
Edit: wow thanks so much for all the love and kind words! I love that we can all support each others small victories, and I'm glad I can share my excitement here with fellow humans who understand how I feel. | congrats, but be careful here. Relying on alcohol will lead to you having 2 problems instead of one. |
I may not succeed but I'm trying. | Same thing, man have too many physical problems with anxiety to name. My family is extremely annoyed with how long it’s lasted but I’m trying my best to fight. You’re not alone, this kind of stuff is a struggle all day everyday for me. |
I know there is nothing we can do about it but I still can’t wrap my head around it that we just grow old and die. | Yes. This is one of my top 5 anxiety triggers. I've found that by thinking too far ahead like this, I speed up time and am almost always getting to that point quicker the more I think about it. So I think about/plan for the short term. I kind of force myself to "comfortably" think about tomorrow on a small scale. Like what I might eat for breakfast, what outfit I might wear, what I'll be working on at work. Small things that put me more closer to the now that I can control most of the time. |
"Am I setting myself up for disaster? Or is my overthinking and constant questioning what's setting me up for disaster?" | I recently started a new job after being unemployed for more than a year due to anxiety and depression issues. It’s not what I want to be doing and am in a far lower position career wise than I was. It’s been two weeks and the anxiety is so strong that I feel like I’m going insane.
But I have to keep going no matter what. I have nothing left and need to provide for my family. I hope I survive. |
Yes, benzos can be addictive.
Yes, benzos can absolutely ruin your life if you abuse them.
Yes, benzos can have side effects.
But there are millions of people who responsibly use benzos to treat anxiety, panic attacks, etc and significantly benefit from them (myself included) I’ve seen a lot of posts here about people claiming to have taken one benzo and having a massive reaction from them or some equally crazy story about someone taking like 5mg every time. All it does is promote fear and scare people who could benefit from them.
I’m not a proponent of putting anyone on benzos unless they are extremely disciplined about it and don’t have any addictive tendencies and am aware of the dangers but please stop the fear mongering.
Edit: I want to amend this post by saying, if your doctor prescribed you for daily use, I am so sorry. I think doctors who prescribe for daily use are irresponsible. Benzos are a blessing for emergencies but imo should not be taken daily and the doctors who prescribe for daily use should get their licenses taken away. To those who got addicted from negligent docs, I am sorry. | Yes I agree. Every time I go to the doctors to get my benzo, I feel like Im asking for an illegal substance. They are getting harder to obtain every year. |
I went to the mall and ordered coffee alone. I was so nervous that I decided my order a second before ordering lol. I even went to some clothing shops and asked about the price which is something I never did. I'm so proud of myself! | You should be proud that’s awesome! You got outside and kicked you’re anxiety’s ass today good job! |
I was so nervous that my foot was shaking on the gas pedal. I almost chickened out and didn't even go today, but I'm glad I did! Just came here to say that I am proud of myself for finally doing it and to let you guys know that you can do it too!
Edit: You guys are the best! I don't have a lot of people to share the news with and you guys have been great! Thank you so much for all the kind words, congratulations, and the awards. This has really made my day.
To those of you who are in the same situation I was in, just practice as much as you can and make yourself do it! You could even do a mock test with the person teaching you to drive. Just go to the place where you plan to take the test and drive exactly like you would during the test. You can have your teacher tell you where to go and end it with parallel parking somewhere. It will make you less nervous during the real test if you feel like you've done it before. Plus, you won't be taken surprise by driving in an unfamiliar area.
Be sure to know where everything is in the car you are going to be taking, they ask you to turn on emergency flashers, point out the parking break, turn signals, wipers, etc. This is all dependant on where you live, but it couldn't hurt to know of course.
And my last tip, be sure to pay attention to road signs. Two different times during the test, the lady pointed out signs we had just passed and asked me what they were/what they said. It's easy to forget or miss signs that aren't that important to you, but pay attention during the test at least! | YAY! |
I can’t believe I never put 2 and 2 together and thought of this as a way that my anxiety manifests. For as long as I can remember I have done this, I like to wake up super early for things and just lay there doing nothing because I feel like sleeping all the way until the stressful event is too fast and if I just lay there awake I can savor every second that I have of not doing the thing.
I used to do this every morning before work when I had a job I didn’t like. I did it all the time for school especially in middle school. I just did it for my first day of classes this semester and I’m a senior in college. Woke up at like 3:30 for no reason and never even tried to go back to sleep. Just laid there under my blanket trying to keep my mind as blank as possible and enjoy the nothingness before my day.
Also, sorry if this has been posted a million times, anxiety is something I’ve long been diagnosed with but I have always avoided it and only now am I starting to try to share about it and confront it little by little. | Same here. I’ve been this way ever since I was little. I was under the impression that I’m just a morning *and* a night person, when really it was anxiety all along. Even to this day, if I have to be up by 8am, I’ll wake up at 5am. |
Two years ago I was too scared to leave my house.
Today I decided to visit my dad an apply for an internship abroad.
To visit my dad I have to travel by train for eight hours. Two years ago I couldn't get on the bus to go to college.
The internship will be ten weeks long. Two years ago I had panic attacks about going into the garden.
I feel so extremely proud of myself, even if my family and friends don't understand. I'm starting to be myself again, even though I was never adventurous.
I finally feel okay doing things on my own.
Edit: First off all I want to thank all of you for the kind words and awards. I woke up this morning and was greated with so many kind and lovely responses.
I've seen quite a lot of people asking about how I got here. The thing is, I don't have a simple answer (although I guess the answer to anxiety is never simple).
If it wasn't for my lovely SO I wouldn't have gotten this far. At one point he said: I want to go on holiday. We don't have to be gone for long, we don't have to go far away. You can choose the location and if you just want to hang around the hotelroom every day that's fine. But I need a break from daily life.
I spent most of the holiday in the hotel but I did go for a few walks. Having a panic attack in a different country feels different; the people who see you will never see you again, so it took away some of the shame aspect for me.
After that summer college started again. I hadn't gone much the year before but I talked to my teachers and they allowed me to repeat the year. I didn't dare to take the bus (my anxiety is centered around being locked up) so I cycled to college every day for a while.
When the weather got colder I realized I didn't want to cycle 13 kilometres through the snow so I tried going by bus. Not going anywhere, just getting in and seeing how many stops I could survive.
So, I kind of did exposure therapy on myself. I eventually got through the waiting list of a psychologist but by then I could go out by myself. After she went away for pregnancy leave I just pushed myself further and further.
SO and I moved house in April to a cheap but lovely appartment in a lovely neighbourhood in a small village. I finally feel a bit at peace and I think that caused my sudden progress.
This probably won't really help anyone as seeing a professional probably is better than doing it all by yourself. I am just lucky enough to have my SO for support, even if he will never understand how important he was in this process. | I'm super happy for you! Could you maybe share how you reached such an amazing progress? |
* You are NOT a failure.
* You are Not a waste of space.
* You are loved.
* You are wanted.
* I believe in You.
* You got this. | I’ve been feeling like this a lot lately, especially with my sexuality and gender issues(People are mean 😥). Thanks for this! |
I feel so tired | Every second of every day. So many voices. 😓 |
I have agoraphobia. My therapist took me to a coffee place, and we sat for an hour. I was tense and shaky, but no panic attacks!! I was able to keep calm and carry a conversation. First time I've been able to sit in a place and not feel like I'm at a high anxiety level in over a year. I'm quietly proud of myself, so I just wanted to share 😊
I know some might think that's not a big step, and it's not but that's okay. Small steps are just as important, because I'm still going forward 💜 | Not a big step?! Thats a BIG step and I’m incredibly proud of you!!!!💞💞 |
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