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He's in the hospital. They told us he's brain dead. We pull the plug tomorrow. I begged and cried for the hospital to let me in to see him. I sat next to him. I begged him to come back to me but I know he can't. I told him I love him, and will always love him, and will try to move forward like he asked me to. I have a therapist appointment on Friday. And all my family and his family are here together. But I don't know how I'm supposed to keep living. I don't know how to go home and see all his things and know he'll never touch them again. My life is gone. Edit: Thank you all for the kind words. I haven't resoonded to all of them, but I've read them all. I'm doing better. I've ate. I've slept. Brushed my teeth and hair. I'm writing him letters. I've told everyone he's gone. I'm with friends and family. I'll get through this. It hurts so much but I'll get through this. Now I just feel guilty for mourning so little and trying to get back to normal so fast.

I've been around for a long time on Reddit and this is the only thing that helped me understand. >Credit to u/GSnow Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents. I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see. As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.

my boyfriend has a fever of 103.2, can barely leave the bed, pounding headache, cough, chest tightness and the hospital discharged him fairly quickly saying it’s “presumptive corona” and he should just take tylenol and rest. they denied him the test for the virus! they said it’s because of his age (23) and that he has no underlying health conditions (that he knows of) he is usually an extremely energetic, talkative guy and now he can barely keep his head up or move. I’ve seen him sick before, and he was still 75% his self - this drastic change in his behavior and functioning is scaring me. I have never seen him this badly sick. I know that he’s young, and there’s a great chance he will be okay. But seeing more and more young people dying in the news is so so worrisome. I just fear the hospital wasn’t careful with him because they were so eager to get him out. I’m worried something bad might happen

Call his primary care physician. Other than that give standard treatments for when your sick: Tylenol, fluids (with electrolytes preferred like pedialyte), rest. Make sure you disinfect anything he touches and take precautions for yourself too.

[update and my response ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/g5b49h/update_in_regards_to_the_awful_teacher_who/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app) I recently got a friend request from my 5th-grade parent's teacher. I am 30 now. She sent me some happy message with excitement and "hugs, hugs, hugs!", and it's left me very confused. This woman was an absolute monster to me when I was in her class. She would go out of her way to humiliate me or punish me for things that I had nothing to do with. During this time my mother was getting treated for cancer and had to get surgery, my father fell back into alcoholism, and my parents marriage was falling apart. Every day I dreaded going to class. Literally have panic attacks. She would single me out and look for things to put me down for. I'd never screamed at a teacher in my life, but I lost it on her when I had to leave early to go to the hospital for my mom and walked in to get my things during break, which she didn't allow. She immediately screamed at me, started writing up a detention slip, kept screaming, and I snapped and lost it, she kept yelling at me and putting me down even after I explained I was going to the hospital. Or when I was having anxiety over having a tooth pulled and when my dad came to pick me up, she jokingly/menacingly yelled "THEY'RE GOING TO RIP ALL YOUR TEETH OUT!". And that's just some of the things she did. She was literally the reason I told my parents that I refused to ever go to a christian or religiously based school again, and it was living hell for the year I had her. Now she thinks we're friends? I don't want to attack her, but I am tempted to at least confront her on it, say I forgive her, and move on. Shouldn't an ass hole be held accountable? Or is there a statute of limitations over childhood trauma?

She sounds messed up. Tell her what she did to you. After that, don't keep in touch with her.

My(16f) dad had two wives the first one (K) and the second one (L) im K's daughter. When mom passed away dad went into a frenzy drinking and sleeping around and he had gotten L pregnant. He decided to marry her so she didn't have to raise the kid alone. This happened almost 10 years ago. I came to terms with it after almost 3 years but still don't call L mom and she's fine with it. K had long curly hair (3c) and it's the only feature that I inherited from her. In every other aspect I look like my dad. I love my hair! As it reminds me of my mom. L always hated it, since my dad always fawned over it and did hair care for me the way he did for K. He passed away a few months ago, and L has been treating me like shit since then. I assumed that she took it hard since she loved him. Last night she cooked for me. I assumed it was her way of saying sorry since she doesnt really cook that much. 30 mins after having it I started feeling drowsy so I excused myself and went to sleep, I woke up with my head completely bald. I ran downstairs crying and looked at L she burst out laughing and said I looked better like this, I went to my friends house with a hoodie on and I've been staying here since the past hour. They wont question me because of how close we are. But I'm just lost. My hairs all gone and I feel like I've lost mom all over again Edit: I told my friend's mom and she immediately took me to the police, then they took me to the hospital. I dnot remeber the drug's name but apparently it's commonly called as the date rape drug. My friends mom got a lawyer involved and he found out that my dad and mom both left a will for me. And I'll be dealing with that later. To the people asking why this acc is new it's because some of my school mates follow me on reddit and I dont want them to find out about this. And thank you all for the amazing advice. ​

This is abuse. Please tell your friends parents and a schoolteacher/counselor/doctor. It’s NOT safe to go home. Please make sure you are safe and tell an adult.

My stepdaughter”Chloe” is 13 and told us she was pregnant. She’s a bit of a, to put it nicely ,” a wild child”. Drinking, smoking. Whatever. Her mother allowed Chloe’s 17 year old boyfriend to move in with them. (They live a few states away but Chloe visits on holidays and summers.) Anyway Choles mother called a few days ago saying we have to come and get her because she kicked Chloe out of the house. Weirdly the boyfriend is allowed to stay there. Chloe does not want the baby, neither do we so we have been looking into abortions. My husband said he will Chole a few weeks to decide what to do(abortion, keep, give up for adoption) But as of now we have a pregnant teen in our house, she’s upset with her mother. Everyone is beyond stressed ::sorry about the rambling grammar I made the post without proof reading:: Thank you all for the advice ::Update because someone asked. Chloe is doing well. We were able to get her back into online school. She is still pregnancy. She has to see a counselor 3 times before a termination is available. She’s helping me with the younger ones and wants to get a new camera and take up photography::::

well ......... atleast we know what Chloe's mom is doing with Chloe's boyfriend

It all just seems so stupidly unreal. I feel too normal to have a brain tumor. I’m only 25, and I have no idea how I’m gonna tell people. How do I get through this? How do I even cope? My entire life just got shattered. At the doctor they took away my drivers license because I’m a seizure risk, and told me they’ll call me later today to schedule my massive and complex surgery for sometime this week. How do I react to all this? I don’t even know what emotions I’m supposed to feel. I’m supposed to be at work right now, but instead I’m scheduling my extended medical leave even though I feel no different than I did yesterday. Has anyone else gone through this? It seems like the kind of thing you only see on medical dramas. And doctors are using scary words like “metastasis” and “survival rate” and “prognosis”. I’m so fucking scared.

Similar thing happened to my best friends brother, also 25. I know he waited some time to tell his family because by the time he told them he was already part of a support group that was really beneficial for him. I believe it was recommended to him through his doctor, and I imagine there is something similar in your area where you can lean on others who understand how you’re feeling. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to strangers before telling your loved ones. Just know that you are not alone, and you can do this. Ps my friends brother is doing great today. He fought hard and now he’s on his way to signing a record deal. Wish you all the best.

My (M18) gf (F18) and I had been going strong for 2.5 years, we started dating my sophomore year of high school and things were generally good. I discovered last week that she and my dad had been having an affair over the course of a few months. I can’t even describe how shitty this made/makes me feel. I loved them both so much. So many levels of betrayal, guilt, anger, disgust, ect. I moved to my grandparents house and am trying to get back on my feet. I feel so shitty and lonely all the time, and no amount of talking, substance intake, distractions, or anything makes me feel any different. I feel stuck in this hole. How should I go about getting better, finding someone else, and just generally moving on and not feeling this shitty all the time? My saving grace is that I got into UCSB for the fall semester, at least I have that.

Im a dad, with a young adult son who has a beautiful girlfriend. To even think about doing what your father did to you is utterly repulsive. My advice is to look at each of your father's faults, and think about what made him so weak and horrible....it might help you get over the anger.

I’m sick , tired and depressed about this situation my whole life men have treated me like shit because they don’t find me attractive I actually hate going out side because it’s always something being said, little comments and random guys laughing at me to their friends or me walking by and getting laughed at or a guy saying to his friend “ that’s your girlfriend “ just to take the piss . I seriously just mind my business but men always feel the need to comment on my looks and I feel very self conscious and angry because what makes other people ppl feel they have the right to make another human feel like shit, for something they were born with and cannot help. I actually feel like I’m cursed because I highly doubt this happens to loads of women ( if it does please tell me ) I always think of ideas to try make myself look better I spend hours in the mirror doing certain hair styles to try and make myself more attractive but it’s still the same old . Ppl always say I have very good dress sense so that’s not the problem .I always tried not to worry about what others think but it’s hard when loads of people keep saying the same thing there must be some truth to it ,I know there is truth to it I’m so traumatised by it in my past relationship everytime I would be with my boyfriend and we would so happen to see his friends randomly) he had loads of friends ) in the street I would always turn my head and act like I was doing something or walk off so they wouldn’t see my face ( in another past relationship my bf told me his friends called me ugly and they would laugh when they saw me and said I looked like a well know footballer I forgot his name ) . I hate that I think about my looks 247 I never used to but I know others are going to comment on it .it’s mostly men from my race (black ) I hate walking through a crowd of black men because there is always a comment or laugher but I notice when ppl are alone they’re on mute Why are men so worried about other females looks even women they do not know or have never spoken to in their life ?( im not saying this doesn’t happen to men just talking from my experience ) I know I should not worry about what other ppl say but it would get to anyone if you have heard bad about their looks all there life do you think I should say something when random ppl comment about my looks ? Anyone else gone or is going through the same thing ? UPDATE Thank you to everyone that has taken the time to comment I may not have replied to everyone individual but I have read every single comment and I really do appreciate it . I have felt every single emotion reading them it really has brightened my day, there are many lovely comments uplifting me and I find it comforting as I don’t usually hear these encouraging words from people around me ,it’s also comforting hearing about others experiences as I didn’t know so many other people have gone through the same thing and makes me know I am not cursed and alone .Its confirmed that we are not the problem and we never were especially from unprovoked cruel treatment .I will try my best to not let it get to me as the ones going through the same things shouldnt either .easier said than done as in the past I have brushed it off but when it happens again it brings back the memories of the other bad experiences that is why yesterday i wrote this post to get it all out ,which I thought I would regret but you’ve all been welcoming and helpful and given me advice to deal with ignoring and distracting myself from bad thoughts and comments I haven’t seen one rude comment and it really does give me hope .if and when I go through another episode i feel comfort knowing I have all these uplifting comments to reread and revisit when ever I want Questions most people have asked How old are you ? I am 25 Where do you live ? I live in London Are you still with the boyfriend who friends made fun of you ? I am not DId your boyfriend at the time defend you when his friends said mean things ? Yes he did but he just brushed it off and said he didnt care what they say and I shouldn’t either Have You tried therapy ? Yes i have in the past and I will be going back but first I need to find the right therapist for me as I know that is important . Women treat men they find bad attractive also Yes I know I wasn’t dismissing that I was just talking about my experience as I know people in both genders can act that way Explain how you dress ? Girly tomboyish ,Noone has made a bad comment about my dress sense I always receive compliments on it .I do take care of my appearance but I do have acne that comes and gos which I know the cause of which is down to fizzy drinks/soda ,cherry coke and mango fanta Are my weakness lol Thank you all once again :)

Shitty people are shitty people. Its really that simple. Dont change who you want to be as a person, especially for strangers who do nothing other than bring you down. You're perfect just the way you are.

So I'm 16F and I'm usually alone at home by myself all day because both my parents work until very late at night and I'm online school but lately I've been seeing this white van with tinted windows pull in my driveway and just sit there for 15 mins. I opened the door and moved my hands like "is there something you need "but they took off really quick... I didnt tell anyone except some friends but 1 day later and I hear a car outside ( since I'm in the country I hear everything) so I look and there it is again just sitting there. I got scared so I called my parents and they said it might be the delivery people but i dont think that's normal. My parents told me to not call the cops unless it's an emergency but now when I'm outside walking my dog I see this van frequently pass my house all the time. It's making me very paranoid and scared, I have the picture of the van as well. Update - I saw the van again earlier this morning. I contacted my local towns sheriff's department and they contacted my parents, they want me to send a picture of the van and they will be on the lookout.My mom is mad because she said its probably a dumb delivery person and now the police are gonna be in " our family's business " and my dad told me to start carrying his gun with me while outside. ( those were their reactions)

Call your local non-emergency police line. You can talk to one of the operators and/or have an officer swing by to talk to you. But if you feel like you are in danger, call the emergency number and give any and all descriptions possible about the van and occupants inside that you see.

So I(M) just got engaged to my girlfriend of almost 5 years. Bit of a backstory, I have a brother (2 years older than me) that suffers with severe cerebral palsy due to complications at birth that resulted in a hemispherectomy procedure (where half the brain is removed). He has about the mental age of a toddler, but is none the wiser and is happier than the average person. He requires 24/7 care from my parents and additional support. No fault of his own, he is very vocal and loud. My parents life revolve around him 360 degrees and I always come 2nd. Fair enough. My problem here started when I told my mother about wanting to ask my girlfriend to marry me and her first response was “Will the venue be disable accessible?” No congratulations, no tears, just concern about my brothers access. After proposing, the worries started to come. If we invite my parents and brother to the wedding, is the wedding going to revolve around my brother and his comfort and are they going to completely ignore me? The selfish part of me wants to invite them bar my brother because I don’t want to be sidelined on such an important day, if not the most important day of my life. (side note: they never attended my University graduation even though I asked months in advance and the excuse was they had to look after my brother). I’ve came to the conclusion that I do not want my brother there anyway due to his vocal nature; he would be a very big distraction during such an intimate moment. I love my brother, it’s not personal, I just don’t want to be thinking about that during our special day. Plus he would be none the wiser to his surroundings. **My question here is**: how could I possible approach my parents about this issue without offending them? My fiancé has concerns that when I talk to my parents, it will feel like this is coming from her and not me, possibly making her out to be the bad guy when this is 100% my worries. ​ **Edit:** Thank you to all that replied, I will respond to each tomorrow but for now, I feel the need to clarify a few details: ​ My fiance and I planned on having a destination wedding with only us and a friend to officiate obviously not including witnesses but since COVID-19, travelling abroad just isnt possible to even plan as of now. We have resorted to planning an inland wedding with a max capacity at the ceremony of 12 people. It is a very small gathering for us as we have an intamate circle of friends and family despite having extended family. My brothers presence would duly be recognised due to the small scale of the wedding. My brother is also wheelchair bound and has many physical restrictions and due to this, finding a venue that isn't a social club just isnt possible. My parents have access to additional care, however, a respite home is out of the question due to abuse taking place in those institutions.

"I've given this a lot of thought and I don't think it would be a good idea to have (brother) at my wedding. Fiancee has left this totally up to me. I'd like the day to be about the bride and groom and it wouldn't be fair to brother, you and dad or me and fiancee if you had to tend to brother for the whole day. I hope you'll be understanding about this because I've made up my mind that this is how I want my day to be. It wouldn't mean that you're bad parents or I'm a bad brother and I know that everyone would understand why he wasn't present." If they object, tell them that you're not asking them if it's ok, you're telling them that this is how it's going to be. Your wedding day is just that: *your* wedding day.

So. Yeah. My girlfriend walked out on us a month ago. She literally packed her shit and went while I was at work, just left behind a note saying she'd been cheating for a year and had moved across the country to be with the new dude. The relationship wasn't perfect and we certainly had some major problems but I didn't see this coming at all. I mostly blame myself. Our kid is 4. Thus far I've been telling him that mummy has just gone away to stay with a friend for a little while. But he keeps asking when she's coming back, or talking about things we can do when she gets back. He has nightmares 1-2 times a week and always wakes up crying for her. He rejects me on those nights because he wants mummy and her special song to soothe him and it isn't the same when I sing it. Twice he has gotten so worked up following a nightmare and asking for her that he's thrown up. There are days where he will literally sit for hours in our window watching our building's car park waiting for her to pull in. It's absolutely destroying me. I don't know how to tell him she isn't coming back without absolutely destroying his entire world. I've managed to get in contact with her three times since she left, and all three times I've begged her to at least call him or write him letters I can read to him or *something*, but she doesn't want to know. She says she isn't ready to give up her dreams yet in the way having a kid forces her to, that she's too young for this (even though I'm 4 years younger than her) and that she hates how she ruined her life and wants a clean slate. She and her new guy are moving to the States once the travel restrictions are lifted. There's no chance she's coming back for either of us. I can't let my kid going on hoping she is. It's not fair on him, and it crushes me to see how earnestly hopeful he is. What do I do? *How* do you tell a boy that little that his mummy isn't coming back?

Licensed social worker reporting in for duty. Hope my analysis helps here. Your best bet at this time is to read up on the situation and learn about how children process information. Children are very perceptive and think in concrete ways - they do not understand subtlety or nuance. You saying that Mommy went to be with a friend for a bit is creating a world for your child that Mommy and Daddy are going to reconcile and things will return to whatever they were before, where they were getting attention and care from two people. The longer the lie continues, the worse it will be when the truth is revealed, and the fallout will be damaging to your relationship with your child. Children want to know the truth and are more resilient than we give them credit for, but tend to blame themselves for every little thing because they can't stand to see their parents upset. If you PM me I will find time later today to try and detail or find some more directed information to provide, but for now here are a few links to articles that might help understand the circumstances: [HuffPost - What to Say When a Parent Leaves](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-to-say-to-your-kid-w_b_5634044) [How Do I Tell My Son That His Mom Abandoned Him?](http://singlewith.com/2015/03/how-do-i-explain-to-my-son-that-his-mom-abandoned-him/) [Coping with Child Abandonment](https://www.verywellfamily.com/help-your-child-cope-with-abandonment-2997465) [How To Talk To Children About Absentee Fathers](https://www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-talk-to-children-about-absentee-fathers-2997224) (you can easily liken this to absentee mothers as well) Review those for a better understanding of things, and again, if you wish to PM me for more personal advice, support, or information/guidance, feel free. Good luck.

My girl broke up with me over a dream i had, i basically cheated on her but like in the dream i forgot she existed, and like when i woke up i forgot about the dream and we was still on ft. I told her about it jokingly and she thought it was some girl i know. so she thought i was cheating on her and broke up with me over the weak evidence of a dream. and no i'm not cheating on her.

That’s ridiculous. Dreams happen. She’s being insecure af.

I am an adult(22) living at home with my mom and my sister, who is underage. We've lived in this neighborhood for 12 years and the person Im about to refer to has been here for 8. This is relevant only because he has not made contact with us at any other time in our lives. Starting in February this old guy who lived a few doors down approached my sister and asked weird questions about our mom. Maybe not weird but as everything else adds up, its becoming weird. He was asking if she(our mom) was seeing anyone and my sister said yes - even though she lied, she's uninterested in this guy. After my mom heard of this, she went and knocked on his door, making it clear that she is uninterested and seeing someone. Apparently he took it fine and the conversation ended civil. Since then, this same guy has been lingering near our home and has mentioned a few weird things: * He's made it known that he knows when our mother isn't home due to which car is gone at the time. He has **SAID** this. * He's made it clear he knows we have animals strictly due to the fact he said "I came over and knocked but didnt hear any dogs, thought maybe you took them to the park or something" - My sister and I are home more than average for people our age and havent heard him knock or seen him around outside of the times ive mentioned it here. * Somehow he knows when my mom *is* home BUT never comes and asks her these questions. He approaches my SISTER about questions referring to my mother. Now the most recent thing was **TODAY**: My sister was laying outside on our deck tanning and he came from behind our house(*this isnt creepy in terms of where we live, all the houses are very close and we all share a field behind each home*) and started a conversation with her. The conversation was along the lines of this: (H = Him, S = My sister) **Him:** "Your mom doesnt really have a boyfriend does she?" **Sister:** "She does" **H:** "How come I never see him?" **S:** "He parks up the street since our two cars take up the driveway" **H:** *Continues being skeptical and basically arguing and interrogating my sister* With that conversation alone, he's making it clear that he's keeping an eye on us in some way. After my mom heard this conversation, she called the police and asked them to tell him to make it clear shes uninterested - since he's not listening to my mom. They went to talk to him and we could HEAR HIM YELLING from 2-3 doors down when talking to the police. Why is **he** yelling while the police are telling him to stay away? They were arguing from somewhat of a distance in the middle of the road. The cops afterward came back and even mentioned "he's a creepy ass dude" when referring to the guy. They said they made it clear that my mom is uninterested but if anything happens again, call immediately. After seeing how he reacted, I am fully prepared for shit to go down. I do not think this is just a guy who will go away after this. He is purposely coming around when he assumes im not around and being extremely weird. I will probably get comments saying "*its not worth it*" but I dont want my family to get hurt or even murdered and then live with the idea of "man i shouldve did this or that". (Note im not going to just go out and assault this guy for no reason, will fall under self-defense but i really do not feel like itll just be a fight - i feel like weapons may end up being involved.) This is why the title may seem a little dramatic. A normal fist fight isnt anything to fear or really prepare for, im almost *expecting* it to be much worse. I am very on edge and would like any advice that could be given. We have a camera set up outside BECAUSE OF THIS GUY and we are waiting for my sister to come home so I can walk her inside. —— **(edit - June 1st)** Wasn’t expecting this to blow up. I won’t be able to read or reply to every comment so I feel the need to add a few notes: * I am in no way intending on harming this person. This is not a threat or a plan. I’m simply preparing incase it does reach an extreme level. * We do have one small outdoor camera, it snaps a picture every time there’s any movement around it and it sends directly to our (my sis, mom and I) phones. We plan on getting a second. * We plan on getting a gun and a few baseball bats. My mom and sister both have pepper spray. * We can’t move or stay with anyone due to the amount of pets we have and low income as my mom is the only source of income. My mom however is very scared and keeps bringing up the fact she wants to move. * While everything in the past has been odd and there’s a bunch of warning signs, there *is* a small chance that nothing else will happen and he’ll leave us alone. He hasn’t come off as aggressive or perverted. However we know not to let our guard down. I will be sure to update/do a follow up if anything else does happen. Thank you all for your replies and well wishes. Hopefully you guys are being safe as well with how much is going on in the world. —— **Update** (June 2nd) We tried to get a peace order and got denied. Not enough evidence. After everyone got some sleep and was levelheaded, my mom decided she does not want a gun in the home. Today while my mom and sister were at their car, they saw the guy looking from his driveway/truck and when they(my fam) looked over, he put his head down. Might seem weird but I see that as a good sign. We’re much more calm now after getting some sleep but we’re making sure we don’t let our guard down. My mom and my sister both got pepper spray and we will be getting some baseball bats.

You're lucky the police took your family's claims seriously. I've had people close to me have issues with stalking. Make sure to only use violence as a last resort. I'm hoping everything works out.

Happened 35 hours ago haven’t slept since i’m too scared to close my eyes. Haven’t eaten or drank anything I feel so weak but every time I try to eat I throw up. I’m not going to go into detail but a person jumped from a tall building. The aftermath was horrifying, I didn’t know the human body could look like that. The sound of the impact was indescribable. I’m so on edge I jump every time someone closes a door too loudly and i’m not really sure where to go from here or why i’m making this post, I just want the image out of my head. I want the whole incident erased. Advice would be appreciated. Update: Thank you everyone for your advice, I honestly appreciate it and for those who have also experienced a traumatic event, i’m sorry. A few friends came over and they’re going to stay overnight. Thankfully they’ve somewhat calmed me down. Gonna attempt to sleep after I type this. Also booked an urgent therapy session for tomorrow morning

You need to talk to somebody. One of the worst sounds i have heard was a body hitting pavement from 20 floors up. I didnt see it I just heard the sound then found out what happened. I understand how you feel. Please talk to a professional who can help. I wish you the best and hope you recover quickly.

I understand where they're coming from when they require you to have a certain amount of comment karma. But I'm really in need for some kind of food and I can't get any of the posts to not get removed because I'm just so much of a lurker even though I've been here for 5 years. I don't know where else to go I don't know what else to say. I lost my job about a month ago I started my new one 2 weeks ago and I just haven't gotten paid yet. I'm already $30 short on rent so there's no way I can spend any of that money on food if I want to keep a roof over my head. I've been homeless in the past and I cannot do that again considering its December and Wisconsin. I'm just hoping there's a Good Samaritan out there that can help me out. Honestly I can't believe I'm doing this I feel so pathetic

I can’t afford a lot but I can order you some pizza or another kind of food as long as I can pay online (I’m in British Columbia, Canada). Send me a message! Edit: Thank you, internet strangers, for gold & silver! My first ever awards :) just trying to help make the world a little kinder 💖

I have a very lame and religious last name that is super common and I hate it and have never been proud of it. I'm an actor and want a cool name which I know sounds super immature but I am very immature so I think it works out perfectly. Her last name is Kane, which sounds super badass. My first name is Matthew so my name would essentially be Matthew Kane if I were to get this going the way I want. Can I do this?

Yup normally you can take your spouse’s last name, doesn’t matter if it’s the wife or husband or you can make a portmanteau of both your last names or combine it, or combine with a dash

As the title states, my nieces (1 and 2) and nephew (5) are in my care now. They are all mixed race, half white from their mother (my sister) and their bio father is half African American and half Latino. Just so everyone can get a more clear picture, all of them have tanned skin with super curly brown hair and eyes. All of my family is lily white with straight blonde hair so I am not fully confident in my ability to pick out the right products they need to manage any hair and/or skin concerns or what they might be. They could pass as being of fully Latin descent or simply a tanned white person, but I do believe it is important they grow up knowing all of their heritage and embracing all aspects of who they are. It’s not something I want to ignore. I have made it my mission to educate myself so I am able to help them down the road. However, I do not have any experience whatsoever in this arena so I need some help with learning how to care for their hair and skin/what products to use as well as the more emotional side of things, like the struggles they will have and how to best communicate with them. Any reading materials/videos or suggestions for hair care or skin care would be great. Any advice would also be appreciated. I hope I didn’t offend anyone, I am just trying to do the best I can. My sister and her husband both died and I was the only family member on either side that was willing and able to take them in. I did NOT want them to go to foster care. I refuse to fail them and want to properly raise them and celebrate their heritage, especially when I consider all of the things going on right now. Thank you. Edit: My brother in law’s mother’s family comes from Cuba and Nuevo León. She has tan skin with wavy dark brown hair. His father is African American and was born and raised in Louisiana. After reading some comments, I searched online and I’d say all of the kids have the 3A hair type and it is dark brown. I also have found out they need to wear sunscreen. Should it be the highest SPF, like the kind I use? Or does it need to be lower because they have more melanin than I do? I’m actually a first grade teacher so I am around a variety of children and have gone through culture sensitivity training and such, but I have not had to provide full time care for children who have different physical features than me so I really appreciate the help I am getting.

There are a bunch of YouTube tutorials on how to care for African hair. The best thing would be to go to an African hairdresser, explain your conundrum and ask, if they can give you lessons. Be prepared to get a few raised eyebrows and couple of eye rolls. Every time I buy African hair products, I get weird looks.

Last week our parents left my 8 year old sister at my(16m) uncles house for the weekend while they went on a trip. I was at my girlfriend's house at the time so I couldn't watch her. Well, our uncle hurt her throughout the entire time she was there and when our parents came to get her they called the police and my sister was hospitalized. Now she's scared to leave our parents or my sides and has to sleep with either of us every night so she feels safe. I blame myself for this since I didn't want to babysit her and chose to be with my gf. My own selfishness has caused her so much pain and will likely impact her the rest of her life. I feel so fucking terrible and that I could have prevented this whole mess from happening. My gf says I couldn't have known but that doesn't make me feel any better about it.

Please don’t blame yourself. (I am a survivor of child rape. I was six.) You are not to blame. The only person worthy of your scorn is your uncle. Your sister will heal because of your family’s love and support.

So, we have an indoor/outdoor car named Toothless. She in and out all day usually, and very vocal about what she wants to do when. Yesterday though, she was gone, which happens every so often, no big deal. This morning though, when I went to look for her, I found her with her front claws ripped out and bleeding, and her back leg twisted around completely. I rushed her to the vet, her foot is dead basically, and will probably require surgery to remove it, and they gave me an astronomically high quote for that, or else put her down to avoid prolonging her pain. What can I do? EDIT: Vet told me its highly likely she was tortured, I don't have evidence as to who might have done it, but she's a black cat and last night was Halloween...idk Im assuming the worst here... EDIT 2: Wow this blew up, thank you to everyone who has offered advice, regardless of what it is. Shes home right now, dead leg still attached, the vet cleaned as best she could from the maggots and right now we're looking for different quote for the surgery. Thank you to everyone who PM'd to offer help in any way, whether it was to spread awareness of it or to donate. Im honestly blown away. Thank you all so much. Thank you. Thank you.

When my cat needed expensive surgery, I put it on a credit card and paid it off that way. That being said, if you don’t think you can afford the long term care you can contact certain animal welfare agencies that will help pay for these expensive surgeries. Your area may not have any but it’s worth looking Either way, if your cats name is toothless I’m guessing it’s a black cat. It’s a bad idea to leave black cats outside on Halloween... two of my childhood black cats were attacked and tortured like this. I’m really sorry

So me and my parents who are 36 and 35 went to a friend and ended up sleeping at their place yesterday. Their place is quite small so we had to share one guest room. They had one big bed and I had the couch. I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night. It was not because of them. I could immediatly hear heavy breathing and just kinda weird sounds. I opened my eye just a bit and yeah they were having sex under the blanket. I just pretended to be asleep but it was really uncomfortable . I did end up falling asleep but it take time and I just wanted to tell them that I was awake but didn’t do anything. I feel like I should tell that that what they did wasn’t OK. How should I do that?

I used to share a studio with my mom when we were really poor when I was about 12. I woke up to her using a vibrator in her bed one night and I somehow had the courage to just loudly tell her to “knock it off I’m trying to sleep” It worked, but to this day I have no idea how I grew the balls to be so blunt about it 😂 I don’t think I could do it again if I had to but maybe something similar might be in order for you. Trust me, it’ll be waaaaaay more awkward for them than you lol

I'm 23, she's 42. I met a wonderful woman a couple months back. We met at our public library. She'd come their quite often. I don't work there, but i go there at least once a week and know the place like the back of my hand. I'm a bookworm. Met my girlfriend there. We talked some and i asked her out. I just thought i met someone i had a real connection with, i didn't do it on age alone or anything. But it's great, honestly. She's way more mature then anyone i've dated before. We've been together for a couple months and it's probably the happiest i've been in a long time. So, i brought her to dinner with my family, things were going ok at first. Aside from a joke someone made at her "Oh, i didn't know your girlfriend needed to be chaperoned by her mom" when she came in. But they asked her about her life, but then they started trying to fish for her actual age (Which i didn't mention. I just told her she was a woman). Asking who was president when she was born and stupid crap like that. I tried desperately to change the subject, but they kept making fun of her age. Then my little brother (17) asked what it was like to live through the great depression and they all made just other rude comments like that. Then it went from jokes, to just being rude. Like telling her "Careful, this one might steal your social security checks" about me. Something else about me "Picking up chicks at nursing homes". Eventually she just stormed off, she started crying and ran away. I chewed them all out. My mom even asked me "Why are you doing this? Is it because i didn't give you enough attention growing up?" I asked what she meant, she told me that since i'm "Dating a woman your mom's age, it's pretty obvious you're trying to seek motherly affection elsewhere." Great, now she's implying i have some sort of fruedian complex. How can i get my family to accept this relationship?

You’re in a hard bind. You like her and she likes you. They are not dating her, you are. You’re hanging out with her, you’re spending money on her, you’re taking her out etc. I’d personally say, fuck what they think. But if they’re acting like this, I don’t think they’re gonna come around. Maybe it will subside and some of your family might accept it but I think they’ll still be judgement. But if you’re serious about her and you really like her, it doesn’t matter what they think.

I am fucking pissed off about it. It was while she was at work, and she prefaced it by saying it was her *professional* opinion. I haven't decided if I even went to do anything about it (I'll let myself cool off first). Is this the sort of thing that the school district will care about? I'm in the greater Seattle area, if that makes a difference.

If I were a parent in this district I sure as hell would want to know if a teacher was spreading misinformation that could put my child at risk. Report to your principal as soon as possible.

I am a 21 year old male. I'm going to prison for a year for medical fraud. I understand that what I did was wrong, and I need to do my time. However, I am afraid. I admit, I am not the toughest guy. I've never been in a fight. I'm just afraid that I am not going to be able to handle prison. I do not want to become someone's punk. I don't want to be raped. I don't want inmates to think I am weak. What can I do to make sure I get through my time smoothly?

Just chill out it depends where you are going. Not to scare you but some places are really tough some aren't. There is a YouTube channel called lockdown23and1 he talks about this subject. When I was 19 I went for a year and in one of the places on my way to my home prison I had a lot of problems with people trying to punk me, I fought. Then things chilled out. I learned little things that helped out, don't order a ton of comminsary in a new prison until you make some friends. People get jealous and if you are a loner people will take advantage. It's sad to say but you need to keep your guard up at all times. I made it through, and for the most part it was easy. I did have some problems but don't get in anyone's way and make friends. Check out that channel he talks about what you are asking about. If you have any specific questions feel free to message me.

Dear Reddit, I created this Reddit account to ask for your advice. I was working behind my fathers desk when I needed a ruler. I looked for it when I found a folder. I was curious so I looked inside. In it were letters for my grandmother, mother, brother, uncle and me. These were goodbye letters. He thanked everybody and that he was sorry for what he would have done. I knew that my father was depressed since the divorce but I never thought that it would be this severe. A few months ago my mother was diagnosed with a aggressive form of dementia. The doctors gave her a few years before she would die. The reason I'm posting this is because I don't know what to do or think. I don't know how old the letters are. So should I pretend I didn't see them? Should I confront my father? Is the only reason that he is staying alive because my mother is dying? I'm 16 so I would really appreciate some advice. (Sorry for the bad English, it isn't my first language)

I would suggest asking/talking about it immediately, however awkward or uncomfortable it may feel. You've got to try help him, or find him help, before any irreversible action is taken. He surely deserves another chance at happiness. If something happened and you never tried to step in, you'll forever hold that guilt and regret telling yourself "what if..." I hope everything turns out well for everyone involved.

I am a 8th grade math teacher. One of my student has a 53%. He has begged me to raise it to a 60%. That would require about 35 extra points added to his grade. Christmas is coming up soon, and he told me his mother would return the majority of his gifts if I don’t raise his grade. I feel awful about this, but other students who are failing don’t have this opportunity. Should I raise his grade? Update: Thank you for the suggestions, everyone. I have decided to offer the whole class an extra credit opportunity, that will be due by the end of the day on Friday. No way was I gonna ruin that kids Christmas. Happy Holidays everyone.

Give him an assignment where he can earn the extra credit points. To be fair, offer all of the students the same opportunity.

Update: [https://www.reddit.com/user/Basic-Cherry-3008/comments/w8wuma/update\_im18\_just\_found\_out\_that\_my\_fatherm42\_baby/](https://www.reddit.com/user/Basic-Cherry-3008/comments/w8wuma/update_im18_just_found_out_that_my_fatherm42_baby/) I have found out that my mother never really abandoned me because she didn\`t want me, but because she tried to commit suicide and was deemed unfit to parent and that my father basically baby trapped my mother with me. After the post yesterday, I went snooping even more because I do not trust my father anymore. I found records of domestic abuse perpetrated by my father toward my mother. He was charged but never ended up going to jail or did a very reduced sentence. This would have been when I was 2 after my mother was committed. I also found a Restraining Order filed by my mother against my father. It was so much worse than what she said. He did not only abuse her emotionally but also physically. I am feeling so disgusted. I could just scream. I returned to my boyfriend again. My father has been calling a lot asking why I had spent so much time away from home. RN my excuse is a family emergency of my boyfriend. After yesterday's I wanted to confront him but now I don't feel safe. Any advice?

Don't say a word to your dad about it yet. Your mum is contacting her lawyers about the missing payments to you, which over the years adds up to around $500k btw if it was $3k payments from the start, (half of that you'd directly be entitled to, thanks u/NuclearRobotHamster :D) he definitely deprived you of alot. There needs to be time for all the ducks to be in a row and things to be organised and finalised before you confront anyone. Your mum's lawyers will take care of that confrontation. When all is said and done, then you can confront your dad. Especially if you don't feel safe around him right now. If he asks about anything, you know nothing unless you've been instructed to say otherwise by your mum/her lawyers. Clearly your dad and grandmother have been in cahoots and there's more going on than what you know right now. I'm going to sound harsh but please just keep your mouth shut for now. Talk to your mother and boyfriend if you need to vent or talk about things. Your grandmother and father don't need to know anything up until they absolutely have to, like you knew nothing about the situation you were in until you contacted your mum. They didn't tell you the truth for a reason and until that becomes known, they aren't to be trusted.

I’m sort of at a loss with this. To start off, I’m 25 and my brother is 20. Our dad passed away a year ago and my brother had a really hard time with it. He eventually withdrew from college and moved back home to get his head straightened out. I was home visiting this weekend and everything seemed normal. We hung out, went out to lunch, my brother and I saw a movie together, we caught up, the usual family stuff. My mom converted my old bedroom into a home office, so I was sleeping in the guest room in the basement. Last night, after everyone went to bed, I snuck out back and blazed up. Don’t judge me. I’m not a pothead, but it helps me to relax sometimes. I came inside, watched tv, and around midnight was stupidly hungry so I went to the kitchen to get a snack. While I was in the kitchen, I thought I heard someone yell something upstairs but it was muffled. I went to the base of the stairs and listened and I heard was I’m positive were sex noises from upstairs. I didn’t think my mom or bro was seeing anyone and I definitely didn’t thin anyone came to the house after I went downstairs. I was mostly just curious so I crept up the stairs a little and I could hear one of the voices was my mom for sure. I assumed it was just a booty call and maybe someone snuck in while I was downstairs. I went back to the kitchen, warmed up some pizza in the toaster oven and was eating it at the counter when I heard a door open and close upstairs, followed by footsteps, and then another door closing. Again, curious, so I went upstairs and went to my bro’s room to see if he was awake and knew what was going on. His light was on so I knocked lightly and he answered the door in boxers and looking sweaty. He sort of jumped when he saw it was me, like he wasn’t expecting it. He asked what’s up and I said I thought I heard some noises up here and wondered if he had too. He got super sketchy and blushed and said he hadn’t heard anything. I was super suspicious now and also felt super awkward bc it sorta seemed like maybe he had been involved in making those noises. I felt really embarrassed and weird and I basically gtfo of there and went downstairs. I couldn’t sleep that night and today at breakfast things were way awkward with me and him and mom. Maybe I’m being paranoid, I was smoking last night, but it feels like maybe they’re having sex and I caught them. I don’t know if I’m crazy and there’s another explanation or if I should say something. Part of me thinks if they are doing it they’re both adults, but idk, it’s got a major squick factor to it and I’m sorta at a loss. Do folks think I’m just being paranoid and, if not, should I say something? Edit: I should have mentioned that I’m a female. Dunno that it makes a huge difference but Some people assumed I was a guy. [UPDATE] Still figuring out what comes next, but I got so much advice and so many responses last time I wanted to update you all. Last night, I pretended that I was going out for dinner and drinks with friends and said I wouldn’t be home until late. I drove around the block, parked, and snuck back into the basement. And then I waited and listened. I heard the tv on and my mom and bro talking. I couldn’t really make out what they were saying. Around 9 o’clock they went upstairs. Once I was sure they were both upstairs I snuck up and listened at the base of the stairs (around the corner from the bottom so no one would see me). I felt like a nut but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about all the what ifs. I heard voices from my mom’s room; again too soft to make out. After maybe 20 mins I heard a moan. I crept up the stairs and when I was at the top I could hear what were distinctly sex noises from moms room. I crept down the hall to see if my bro was in his room, pushed the door open, and stuck my head in. At this point, I didn’t care if he asked me what I was doing home, I figured if he was in there I’d just tell him I came home early and wanted to hang out or something. But it didn’t really matter. It was empty. I went back down the hall and listened at mom’s door. It was mostly quiet, the sound of the bed, a few grunts, but I distinctly heard mom saying oh fuck a few times. After a few minutes they clearly had climaxed, somewhat loudly, and the noises stopped and I heard my brother’s voice. He said he was going to take a quick shower. Then mom said she’d join him. I was and am in a daze. I don’t think there’s any doubt that they are having sex. I went back to the basement and I’ve been lying here thinking for the last few hours. I haven’t said anything to either of them. Part of me wants to burst in on them, part of me wants to confront my bro, I don’t really want to talk to my mom. It’s a really weird position to be in. I’m still sorting through all the thoughts I have. It’s a lot of different feelings all at once. It’s hard to explain.

Without knowing any more information, or whether what you imagined you heard is actually what was happening, I would not recommend towards jumping to conclusions. If you are open to it, I would bring it up with your brother in a subtle way (e.g., "I heard noises last night. It made me worried. Is anything going on?") to see if you can get more information before you figure out what you want to do/how you should feel.

I’m 15 y/o and no matter what I do my parents don’t really give a shit. Every since I hit puberty they just seem to have absolutely no interest in anything I do. I have a 4.1 GPA and a job where I make good money and I haven’t heard anything about that. This post was sparked because I showed my dad a skateboard trick (ollie) I had spent the past couple hours learning and he just laughed and went “that’s it?” I almost started crying because I feel like no matter how good I am at something they just never care. I put big expectations on myself and I kill myself to meet them and it’s never good enough. I don’t really know what kind of advice I’m looking for, I just kind of want someone that I can relate to. Edit: Thank you to everyone for reaching out, sharing your stories, and leaving kind words. I’m trying to read everyone’s messages and posts, just know that I appreciate all of this. I didn’t expect this to get so much attention! You’re all so wonderful and kind, thank you again! Edit 2: Jeez! Thanks for the gold.

Totally relatable, except I'm 44. My parents have never approved of me, no matter what. Just find a way to be proud of yourself

I’ve been debating posting this for along long time because I realize I sound fucking schizo. But here we go. We’ve been dating since I was in freshman year of highschool, now I’m 26 and she’s 31, and we’ve been living together for almost two years now. Our relationship is alright. We get into some fights but never big ones and never have screaming matches or anything like that. The worst one we had was when I was eighteen (so quite a long time ago). She burned all my sketchbooks and journals then, and sometimes when she’s mad at me now she’ll rip up my stuffed animals. I know, I’m too old for them, but they bring me comfort. Sometimes she hits me, but it’s always just a slap or a punch in the chest. Either way, besides all of that were good. I love her. A few months ago, we were drinking and watching one of my favorite movies together, and she took my glass to refill our cups. She was out of sight for three minutes max. I finished my glass and started feeling tired. Like way more than I should have. I don’t really remember what happened next, but when I woke up the next morning I was sore and she told me I had blacked out the night before. I though that maybe I just drank too much, but I only had two glasses of wine and I can usually hold my liquor well. A week ago it happened again. This time, while we were eating dinner. It happened so quick that time, and when I woke up I was violently sick for the next couple hours. One more time yesterday. This time it was after a pretty big fight— she threatened to destroy one of my stuffed animals my mom had gotten me before passing away, and ended up ripping one of his ears off. We did end up yelling at each other this time, but I didn’t want to fight with her so I just apologised and we went back to normal. She got me some water. I remember how she was watching me when I drank it— like she hated me. It was so much hatred I wanted to cry, I’ve never been looked at like that. I know I fell. I have a bruise forming on my forehead now, and my whole body hurts, and I’m so nauseous I’m in the bathroom to stay. I don’t want to sound crazy. I don’t want to think she could be doing something like that, but idk. I’m scared of her and I’ve never been before. Edit: thank you all for the advice. I’ll go over everything and figure out what I’m going to do. 💛

I don’t have any doubt at all that she’s drugging you based on what you wrote. And there’s a real risk she could kill you by dosing you incorrectly. You also said she slaps you in hits you and maybe you’ve been with her since you were so young you don’t understand that that is horrifically, abusive and unacceptable. And she threatens to destroy your things when she’s angry? You’ve likely never been in a different type of relationship, but I promise you everything you wrote above is not typical. Not a healthy, well functioning relationship. Get out now. Consider going to the hospital and getting a blood test to see what you may have been drugged with.

My sister is an 8th grader in middle school. Her bus arrives for school at 8:30 every morning. My mom leaves at 7:30 A.M. to go to work and I leave at 8:00 A.M. to go to college. We set countless alarms for her to wake up to, and we try to wake her up before we leave. My mother sets an alarm in her room and three alarms on my sisters phone. I am getting ready to leave when the first alarm goes off. My sister always walks to my mothers room, which is a good 20-30 feet away from her own,turns off the alarm and cozies up in her own bed. She has missed consecutive whole weeks of school, and I estimate she's missed about two to three weeks per nine weeks. My mom just got a new job after working ten years for the same company, she's on a 1 year probation period where the slightest mistake can get her terminated. My sister has missed so many days of school that my mother could possibly be fined or arrested. All my sister has to do is wake up, get dressed and catch the school bus, but she is too lazy to get up. We try finding alternatives for if she misses the bus, such as taking the city bus, but she is too spoiled to try and learn. Everytime I try to show her the route, she defies me and lashes out. I'm fucking sick of her, she talks back to our mom who tries to be gentle and calm with her, and she has the biggest fits over the slightest things. Our father travels around the country either working for a short period or sitting in jail. My sister is so unbelievably spoiled and she doesn't understand the consequences her actions have. She does awful in school, and my mother tries to punish her, taking her phone away, taking the TV cord, etc. But she either finds some way around her punishment, or she throws a fit. The only punishment she doesn't recieve is a spanking. Today was the last straw, I had food poisoning, so I was able to stay home. I made sure to wake her up and then I got caught up for about ten minutes in the bathroom. After getting off the toilet, I walk to her room to see her wrapped up under her covers. After missing a whole week of school for a "leg injury", she didn't get up today because she was "too sleepy". It would be one thing if she was stressed or overworked, but she clearly isn't, she never studies, does her homework, and she has an unhealthy obsession with discord (she doesn't even play games, she is just obsessed with whatever goes on in there). I immediately call my mom, who tearfully tries to plead with my sister to get up. All my sister responds with is a faint "i'm sleepy". She hands the phone back to me. I hear my mom sobbing over the phone, the last time I heard her cry was in 2007 when she broke up with my dad. I snapped and ripped the covers off my sisters bed and threw her in the shower and turned it on. I don't have a drivers license so I had to call an uber for her and she's currently off to school. My mom can't pay for an uber everytime she wakes up late, and I had to use my scholarship money to pay for this. With how bad my sister does in school she might get held back. When I was in middle school, on top of having to wake myself up, I had to wake up a good hour before 8:00 A.M. if I wanted to make it to school and socialize with my friends before class started. It was a good 50 minute walk every weekday for three years, and if I didn't want to walk I had to wake up extra early, around 5:00 a.m, if I wanted my mom to drive me there. My sister is privellaged enough to get a school bus to come to our house which is outside the zone for the school she is going to, and she doesn't utilize it. If my mom were to get arrested or fined for my sisters' truancy she could lose her job, which is ridiculous. If my sister can make it past 8th grade, she will be in high school, and will need to wake up earlier than me and my mom, so we'll be home to wake her up. But with how things are going, I'm afraid she'll either be held back, or my mom might lose her job. At the very least, is there any way to absolve my mother of any consequences that are related to my sister's truancy? EDIT: I'm her brother EDIT 2: Thank you all for your responses. Before I made this thread I suggested that my mom schedule an appointment with a therapist. We got an appointed scheduled with a doctor on the 6th that will suggest if my sister needs therapy or not. All of your responses have been extremely helpful. I was given a link to an article I shared with my sister to read and I sent the CINS/PINS Pdf to my mom so she could read it. I'm currently waiting for a response. EDIT 3: I know it seems like i'm making excuses for some of the answers in the comment, but you have to understand that my mom has financially and emotionally supported two children by herself over the past 18 years. We have tried being aggressive with my sister, even to the point of just throwing her outside her room. She will go limp and completely refuse all compliance. We have taken every source of entertainment out of her room, it enables her to think it's fine to miss school as long as she loses something. Some of these options do not work for how stuborn she is. She is a 14 year old, and has reached a point in her maturity where she could be considered a young woman. My mother seriously works her hardest to try to get through to my sister, she does not deserve to get her home, job, and life stripped from her over the actions of a stubborn 14 year old not going to school. EDIT 4: Probation doesn't mean my mom got in trouble with the law or her work, she's never been arrested in her life or faced a criminal charge. It just means she's new at work and any mistake could cost her job.

Take every source of entertainment out of the house when you leave. Tv power cord, gone! Phone, gone! Computer chargers, gone! She likes playing with a frisbee in the backyard all day by herself? FRISBEE - GONE! you see how this works now? Shes a child, she doesnt have a god damn option as to whether or not she goes to school, an education is a blessing, force her ass to go.

(idk if this is nsfw but tagged just to be safe) (F17) I discovered I had a septate hymen about a year ago when I first (successfully) put a tampon in. Long story short, when I went to go take it out, it wouldn’t budge, so I took a mirror and discovered that a piece of tissue or something was straddling the entrance to my vagina. I eventually got it out myself by pushing the tissue to the side, which was a little painful/uncomfortable. I looked it up and I undeniably have a septate hymen. Basically what this means is that I can’t use tampons or have sex (technically I could but it would be painful and in my case I think nothing larger than a tampon could go in). It can be fixed with a minor surgery. It took me months to tell anyone about this, and today I finally told my mom. I was expecting her to be concerned and look up what it is and stuff but she just said “you are not getting surgery just to use a tampon” and ended the conversation. I also have a boyfriend (haven’t seen him in forever cause of corona but we FaceTime everyday) and we’ve talked about sex and I’m so afraid to disappoint him when he finds out that we probably can’t do it. I think next time I go to the doctor for yearly checkup I will ask about it but my mom never leaves the room and I never ask her to leave because I don’t want her to think I’m hiding anything. I feel like I’m wearing a chastity belt and I feel alone in this. I’m too embarrassed to talk to anyone about it. Should I try and push this issue with her? I just don’t want this to be the only thing holding me back from having a normal sex life in the future and I just want to use tampons. EDIT: Wow thanks everyone for so many responses and the kind words! I hesitated to turn to the internet for advice but this was extremely helpful. I feel like my feelings have been validated and that this is something that I need to get taken care of ;-;. And thank you to those who opened up about their personal experiences with this. I will definitely bring this up with my mom again and talk to a doctor the first chance I get. Btw my mom is on reddit so hopefully she never comes across this post :/ 😭 EDIT 2: it’s the next day and I have read all of your comments and they’ve been so helpful! I just asked her when my next doctors appointment will be so I can ask about it but she said they aren’t taking appointments right now. I kept pressing and saying that it can cause problems other than not being able to wear tampons but she kept brushing it off saying that I probably don’t even have it. After telling her that I was almost certain I had it (and if I don’t then something else is wrong) she told me to wait until I see a gynecologist 😭. I have no idea when she would take me to one but I’m pretty sure not anytime soon. I’m going to keep asking and voicing my concerns because I think the main problem is that she doesn’t think it’s an important issue right now. Last update: I kept expressing my concern to her today and explained the issue further and she’s gonna call the gynecologist on Monday 😭Thanks for all the help, I probably would’ve just given up after yesterday but these comments really motivated me to take care of this 🙏🏼.

You shouldn't be made to feel alone or ashamed for addressing your health and peace of mind. These issues are uncomfortable to acknowledge and address especially at your age. I genuinely applaud you for raising this concern here and for being mature and serious about it. This is an issue that you need to raise with your doctor at your next check-up with or without your mom in the room. I'd always advise against self-diagnosis but this seems pretty apparent and, at the very least, it's an issue that's affecting you, your self-image, your relationship, and your general well-being because of your heightened level of concern and your mom's dismissal. If she's in the room and raises an issue with you asking your doctor: be clear. I'm just concerned about it and I want to have it checked even just for the peace of mind. If you feel more comfortable without her in the room, you need to have an honest conversation about how her dismissal made you feel. You felt vulnerable and afraid and looked to her, and she wasn't willing to hear you out and validate your genuine concerns. That's an awful feeling and I'm sorry that you've been made to feel that way. I'm hoping that your boyfriend is sympathetic and understands your worries and any insecurity this may make you feel (and that he will continue to). If there's one thing to be selfish about in life, it's your heath. Again, I really do want to commend you for raising the issue here. It can be awkward and uncomfortable to address. The anonymity of Reddit helps, but it's important that you have an avenue because you've happened to be let down by your mother. Good on you. I hope everything works out and you can find your peace of mind.

I set my best friend up (24F) with my husband’s coworker (30M). Both attractive people. Things were going well, until they had sex. Afterwards, he ghosted her. My husband’s coworker told my husband that she has a stinky coochie. Like bad. I never told her because I felt like she would feel extremely embarrassed. She recently had another situationship who ghosted her after intercourse. She feels confused and doesn’t know why she keeps getting ghosted. As her friend, in the back of my mind I know why, I just don’t know how to tell her. Does anyone have any advice on how I go about this?

It might be uncomfortable for her to be told direct but think how much pain and discomfort the ghosting is causing. I would tell her direct but preface it with "I know this might be uncomfortable but I am just passing on what I heard" type of statement. If you are best friends then this is something only really you can communicate without it being too weird. Then go over treatment options while finding out if she is aware... You are stuck in a hard place but being ghosted is one of the worst feeling imo. Causes a lot more pain compared to a conversation that provides a fix. Better that than her still wondering a cpl years from now about why this is still happening.

So basically me and my girlfriend have been in a relationship for over five years and recently she’s been hating on men a lot, like how men are a plague So the reason why I say this is because lately we get in an argument over literally anything, doesn’t matter if it’s about cloths or even the men are in groups. Also she says I’m the only man she likes and no one else. This whole ordeal about hating men started while we were in quarantine.

Do you live with her?

I just woke up today to find out that my mom took my red-eared slider turtle out today and just threw him in a lake on the way to work. I’ve had him since I was 10 and I’m 16 now. My mom didn’t like him because she said his tank smelled bad and always made a fuss about it. He also had an ear infection that I begged my mom to take care of but she kept insisting it would go away on it’s own. He also needed a better tank and a better filter but my mom thought it was too big of a problem to fix. Basically, she didn’t want to take care of him and cover the costs. It’s not like we couldn’t afford it, it’s that she felt like she’d be “wasting” money on a turtle. The fact that she just threw him out without telling me makes me furious. I could’ve gotten a job and paid for the expenses myself. She joked about throwing him in a pond ONCE, I didn’t think she’d actually do it. I had an emotional attachment to him and I miss him. Does anyone know if he’s actually going to be able to survive? He’s a red eared slider and he had an ear infection. Will he be able to find food? I don’t even know what lake she put him in. Is he going to be ok?

I’m pretty sure your mom committed a crime. Red ear slider turtle are an invasive turtle species

We were supposed to have the day home alone together but her dad came in 20 minutes ago. She has an attic room so it’s not immediately obvious that I’m here, but also means I don’t know what to do! She’s just acting as if everything is normal. Her mum came and took her to deliver her parcels so I’m now stuck in her room with her dad walking around the house. I am unable to move without him knowing i’m here. She should be home in half an hour with her mum. I have my shoes on me. Any advice? Edit: they do not know we are in a relationship and would flip if they found out, I’ve been going to her house for a while with her parents there under the impression that we’re just friends. Her Dad came home to the blinds closed and assumed she slept in. Edit 2: She does have very large windows. I could definitely climb out of them but I’m worried about the obvious noise from jumping Update: I think he’s gone to sleep. He’ll wake up when she comes home soon though, if I want to sneak past him it’ll have to be in the next 5 minutes I think. I’m just waiting it out until she gets back now. Update: Still here... they’ll be having food soon. I think they’ll hear me walking down the stairs still. She is back home and in the room with me now I’M OUT Okay bold move. We tried to synchronise our steps towards the door. She opened it pretending I had just come round to collect something and we had a little chat to play along. She’s gone to have tea, I’ll let you know if I’m in the clear or not! Final update: they didn’t question anything, we’re all good. Thanks for your suggestions!

If you send me the house number I’ll call and make something up to give you time to leave. I’m a champ at this stuff.

My father passed away yesterday due to a heart attack. My mom and I were about to leave since she drops me off at work. I was in the restoom getting ready when I heard my mom scream. I went running to her room and I just saw her there with my dad unconscious. When the paramedics got here they tried everything they could but it was too late. I dont know how to survive this. He died instantly. Its just so hard. Its barely the first day without him and i dont know how to survive this. I have my mom and brother by my side but its so hard. Im scared and worried for my mom now that she will be alone once my brother and I have to go back to work. Im 23 so I can say that I had the privilege to have him for so many years

It is hard, but I promise you it will get easier. It will never be ok, but it will get easier to live with this hole in your heart. Just keep pushing through. That's what he would have wanted. Talk to your family. They know exactly what you're going through right now, because they feel it too. Be there for each other. Cry together. Remember together. Laugh together. Mourn together. Be silent together. It will get easier. I promise. Just keep going. There's nothing else to be done anyway. You just have to keep getting up and putting one foot in front of the other.

I am currently in the process of being diagnosed with a lung condition, but it is going to be a while because of wait times. I am terrified of going to college because I have already gotten sick once (not coronavirus) this school year despite wearing a mask at all times indoors and liberally applying hand sanitizer. I cannot take a gap year and have been given an ultimatum of attending college every day or not coming back to my college (UK) period. I have no idea what to do, I have been given a choice of no future or to roll the dice on dying. Edit: I would like to clarify that my condition is not diagnosed, I am sorry if I communicated otherwise. I feel like the title to my post is innacurate because of that. Update: From the responses I have been given I think the best course of action is to stay in college while trying to get diagnosis as quickly as possible. I am sorry if the title/text was misleading, not to make excuses but I have ocd (diagnosed) and I find it difficult not to focus on worst case scenarios and such.

I'm sorry but most of the comments on here are a waste of time. The reason the college are not letting you off is because you haven't got medical proof of your condition. You NEED to get seen by a doctor as soon as possible. Once you have a doctor to back you up then the college will back down. Put all your priorities into getting REAL medical advice, don't waste your time complaining to the college that your self-diagnosis is a credible piece of information. Even if the doctors cannot give you a concrete diagnosis if you speak to them they might be able to write you a note confirming they are currently investigating you for suspected X lung condition, which might be enough for your college to reconsider or at least delay their decisions.

My husband is a chronic alcoholic and has had past drug abuse issues. He went into the hospital about a year ago and was diagnosed with a myriad of health issues related to drinking (cirrhosis of the liver, diabetes, etc). He came home but relapsed and began drinking again. Tonight he passed away due to these medical issues. We have 2 kids, a 5 year old and a 2 year old. I just don't know how to tell my 5 year old. I would like to send him to school in the morning so I can try to get my ducks in a row, but it feels a little deceitful to keep it from him. He knows daddy went to the hospital in an ambulance (thankfully it was the kids' naptime when he passed out and i had to call the paramedics, but he did see the ambulance im the driveway. How do i tell anyone? I don't want their sympathy. I don't want people feeling bad for me- I knew this was coming eventually. He was not violent or anything towards me or the kids, just extremely self destructive. He was adopted as a kid. About 10-15 years ago he reconnected with his bio family via Facebook. We visited them 2 or 3 times since then but we/they were not close. I don't have any phone #s for them, just friends on FB (and I no longer have messenger). How do i tell them? EDIT: thank you all so much for the advice and kind words. I did tell our son this morning and gave him the option of going to school or not, but he wanted to go. I contacted his teacher and she is going to arrange for him to speak to the councellor at school. His parents are going to get in contact with his bio mom and let her know. They are distantly related and can get into contact with her through other family members.

I’m sorry for your loss. I experience similar - their granddad who lives with us. We just sat them down and told them. It’s harder for you than for them. Our 10 and 7 year old were upset. Still are occasionally. Our 3 year old took it in, put bits together but doesn’t really seem to have been affected long term. Children adapt quickly.

First it was my grandfather , then it was my father and now my grandmother died the other day. This is too much lose all at once. I can’t do this anymore. Knowing I will never see them again. I can’t do this this shit anymore. It is too much. I am don’t know how to deal with this and I need some help before I do stupid shit. I tried to answer everyone. Thank you all for the words. Please be safe to everyone who cares enough to comment and I wish the best to your families.

Hey there, I'm so sorry for your losses and your situation. You might want to consider seeing a therapist if you are not already seeing one. You are dealing with a lot of grief right now and still processing everything. You can get through this and you will. I know it doesn't seem like it right now but it will get better with time. We all care about you here :)

I went to a GP about an intimate issue today. I was incredibly nervous and even expressed this to her upon arriving. During the physical examination, the first thing she did was complain about my pubic hair and tell me I should have trimmed it before the appointment. I was under the impression that this is not a medical practitioner's business, something which shouldn't concern them, and certainly something which shouldn't be commented on. Then before I left the office she patted me on the cheek in an overly-familiar, condescending way like a grandmother or great aunt might do to a child. It didn't feel like a professional encounter at all and I left feeling shamed for my body which I'm already overly self-conscious of, and without my questions being answered so I've now got to either ignore the problem or pluck up the courage to see someone else about it. I'm still hurt. What should I do?

This is extremely inappropriate. As a doctor, I’m embarrassed for my profession that this happened to you. It’s certainly NOT the way I was trained to practice. And it’s extremely common for people to go to the doctor without shaving or trimming.

My daughter knows this girl who lives down the street and is 17. Her parents kicked her out and she texted my daughter asking if she could stay over. She has no family cause they are military and my daughter is the only girl she knew to ask. She’s here now and I’ve texted her mom letting her know, to which she just thanked me for letting her stay. It’s 11pm and she’s here with two packed bags. My daughter is a bit uncomfortable because she isn’t really friends with this girl but knew about her living situation. I’m not sure what to do. Ive made sure that she is comfortable and that she knows she can stay here. What should I do? Should I message her parents in the morning in case I don’t hear from them? I don’t want to do anything that might make the situation worse. Any advice is appreciated.

This is going to be a bit of a different take from the rest of the thread, but I would have a second conversation to make sure that there was no abuse going on. While raising teens can be tough, it usually boils down to poor communication on all parts. Kicking out your UNDERAGE child with NOWHERE to go, causing them to cling to literal strangers is NOT normal. Even if the fight was "mutual", how is that a normal response? One is a child, the other is an adult. And the other parent consented?? I am not saying that abuse IS going on, I am just saying you should try to broach that difficult topic again and make sure. Be gentle and kind and leave your communication doors open. Afterwards proceed with the information given. Either way, you are amazing for basically taking in a stranger when they needed you most.

she literally screams at him and threatens to kill her self in front of him because he got the wrong chicken on her salad. like dude. idk it makes me uncomfortable like what do i do

Inform her that IS abusive. My ex use to hit me and threaten suicide all the time. Record her every time she threatens suicide. Show him and explain why it isn’t healthy, and if she go bananas and threatens again, tell the police and show them the videos. She sounds like she is crazy

I’m 16 years old and I live with my Mom, her ex, and my sister. 2 1/2 - 3 months ago, my mom stopped going grocery shopping, and only on some days would her ex go out and buy ingredients to cook with. Meaning that I go most days with no food at all, with my only form of sustenance being my school lunches. On weekends, I’m shit out of luck. Originally, I thought it has to do with a bad financial situation, until she told me outright that she was simply too lazy. I tell her that I’m hungry, and she replies to me saying “You’re always hungry.” I’m rapidly losing weight. I’m 5’10-5’11 and I used to be 170 lbs, I’m down to 150 now. I’ve never felt more weak in my entire life, and recently, I’ve started feeling dizzy and lightheaded, some times even short of breath. How get through to my mom?

There are times in life when asking for help is the wisest path. This is one of those times. Talk to an adult you trust about what is happening, perhaps teacher, an aunt, an uncle, a minister, or somebody who can help you. Ask for help.

If you want to read the original post, click here -[https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/ake7y3/i\_m15\_was\_raped\_m18\_and\_four\_people\_f16\_m14\_f17/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/ake7y3/i_m15_was_raped_m18_and_four_people_f16_m14_f17/) ​ Lets get straight to the point. ​ I left an anonymous note in the box of my school counselor. The counselor had a "talk" with all five people involved (rapist and watchers) and they denied everything, and said whoever put that note in his box was lying. There was technically no proof of it actually happening, to the counselor at least, so they won't take further action until real proof is given to him and the principal. ​ Turns out that M17 took a flash photo, like I thought. It spread around most of the school but no one so far has reported it to the faculty or police. I've been getting harassed for the past few days now, with people showing me the photo asking "is this you?" ​ I'm too scared to show the photo to the faculty, because it technically doesn't show my rapist's full face or my full face so they *could* just say its unreliable evidence. ​ I went to the police station yesterday, and reported the crime. No one was dumb enough to actually send me the photo, so I just told the police the names of everyone involved and there is evidence on their phones. I was told they would look into it. Hopefully my rapist and the four onlookers get arrested. ​ Also, I cannot thank you all enough for the overwhelming support. It made my days a little bit better :)

I hope the motherfuckers get caught and punished. Don’t give up❤️ we’re rooting for your justice.

Hello I'm 19 year old male. So like 5 months before i was assaulted by a man I've never seen before, though I wasn't seriously injured I felt very threatened and scared. I reported to the police, they did nothing at all. Ever since then I've been scared when someone walks behind me. Lately it feels like he is going to kill me soon and every time i think about it my head hurts like someone dropping a rock on it. Do people feel their death or is it something that my trauma and anxiety developed? It's getting harder and harder, please help

You potentially have PTSD. I’d recommend you look for help in the care of professionals instead of on reddit. Mental trauma is often overlooked, but try to treat it like you would a broken arm. Sometimes it just doesn’t heal right without people who know what they’re doing looking after it.

My teacher gave us a task to post quotes from influential people (w/ own opinions) on popular social media platforms, and part of the grading is how much likes, comments, and shares are there in our post. The problem is I'm not active in social media.. nor do I have a proper account. My classmates have already done it except for me. They asked all their friends and other people to like their posts and give comments.. which makes me feel a bit jealous, since I never have the courage to ask people to do something like that. What makes me feel jealous the most is not that they're all popular, but the fact that they're already finished w/ the task and maybe got some good grades. I've already found a quote and made an essay about it.. but I'm having an anxiety to what would I get when I finally post it tomorrow. No matter the outcome, I hope it's all worth it and I really, really hope that I won't mind the result at all, whether it's a good or bad thing.. Edit: I want to say that besides posting our assignment on socmed, I was also surprised that part of the criteria includes the "popularity" of the post. Here in my country, it was common back then to have your scores based on likes.. and it really surprised me that it still exists to this day. Maybe because no one has officially complained about it, or maybe some teachers just like to grade students that way. Anyway, after learning about it, I realized that what matters in education is that we learn valuable things from studying, so I no longer mind what grade I may get and I'll just accept it :) Edit: Here's the quote: “Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” – Voltaire Last edit: I finally submitted it!! (as an activity in the MIL subject) THANK YOU SO MUCHHH YOU GUYS ARE SO NICE AND AMAZING, I NEVER EXPECTED SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO HAPPEN.

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” *– Voltaire, French writer and philosopher* When we appreciate the work of others, we are able to discover and realize its meaning and purpose, and we can see how much time, effort, and dedication it takes to create the very best of it. It is those kinds of things that make it excellent and wonderful. Expressing your gratitude towards other people’s works and deeds means that you’re thankful for what they have done. You let them know and feel that they’re not overlooked or taken for granted, and that every effort they have made is actually recognized. You make them realize that all those things they did have worth and value, because you show them that they actually do. This is why appreciation motivates people to work hard and strive for a better outcome with the belief that they can do better, just like in the saying, “A person who feels appreciated will always do more than what is expected.” You want to let them know that you are grateful for them, and if it’s not because of their works, you are just grateful to them as a person. You help them acknowledge their own worth and goodness. You tell them that they not only matter, but they make a difference—something that we all hope to do. In return, you would receive the same act of kindness, for they are grateful to you for letting them feel appreciated. This just proves another saying: “Whatever we do good travels in a circle and returns back to us.” If all you can say to a person is a simple “Thank you,” then you don’t need to worry about saying anything more, for those words are already enough. Your willingness to put appreciation into words and actions makes it true and genuine, and that’s what really matters. The goodness we bring unto others reminds us that our acts of kindness are a reflection of ourselves, and the excellence we find in them, is also found within us. \#AppreciationIsWonderful \#EveryEffortHasValue \#MIL

So basically every night around 2-3am I (f13) hear my older brother (m17) crying in his room and usually he’s not that emotional but these past 4 days I’ve been hearing him weeping and I don’t know if I should go talk to him because I asked him if he’s ok in the morning and he got super mad and just said “I’m fine” and he’s not really opening up to anyone. I think it might be about his gf because I haven’t heard from or about her in a while but I still feel super bad and I feel like I can’t help him out or comfort him somehow but I don’t know how to do that without seeming as if I’m trying to get all into his business. Any advice?

I buy my sister food when she's down. We don't usually open up but it's our gesture of comfort. He'll know you care without pushing too much. Small gestures of kindness from time to time can make him feel good.

When I was a kid I used to hurt my cats. I would pull their tails, hit them, physical abuse... now I’m an adult and I often think back on it and how horribly I treated them and they still loved me and wanted to cuddle and get love and it makes me want to cry. I feel so horrible for having put them through what I did. I wish I had never done any of that. How do I stop feeling guilty about this??? Edit: holy cow I wasn’t expecting this much from everyone!! Your comments and advice have all been very helpful!! I loved my kitties and they have since passed of old age. I miss them terribly and think about them a lot. I’m going to bring up this issue with a counselor when I get the chance and work past it. Thank you everyone!!

Feeling regret is a sign that you have changed. When you cringe about something you said or did this is a good sign that your mind state has changed and that you are better developed. To ease your discomfort a bit I would suggest doing something charity wise for an animal shelter or something, but as I said before, recognizing this already shows you have grown.

my dad tested positive for COVID and is required to quarantine but ever since then, he’s been careless af. like coming out of his room, talking on the phone in the hallway. going my bathroom instead of the one he said he’d go in and trying to talk to me so he could spread it to everyone in the house. he has no consideration whatsoever about everyone else and it’s like he wants to get the whole family sick. last night he went in my bathroom and started to cough and spit, and at the hour of the night it was i can tell it was premeditated. it’s 14 days we’ll have to be dealing with this and it’s only day 2 and i feel like im going to have to kill him

I’d straight up confront him and tell him you don’t want to be exposed.

I’m bound by HIPAA and can not disclose her health information, although she was not a patient in our hospital. We were told by administration. She’s going to get people sick. She makes cakes from home where her boyfriend (who is also positive) lives, and there is no possible way the cakes she is making are not contaminated. What can I do? Anything? Small update: Wow. Thank you all so much for reaching out with your advice! I feel much less crazy with all the support this has gotten. I got in touch with my local health services department and anonymously brought up the complaint. They took down a callback number for me (not my number, but a phone I have access to) and said they will call me back at some point today. I have very little faith in our local police so I’m hoping this pans out. I’d also like to say that this is more than just her making cakes while sick. She runs the business out of her home, where people come in and pick them up. As far as I know, she is not doing delivery right now. She interacts with these customers extensively, and even did a photo shoot with a 1 year old and the birthday cake she made for him over the weekend. This isn’t a professionally run kitchen with mandatory precautions put in place. Right now, it’s a really dangerous operation. Will do a final update hopefully later today with more information. UPDATE: I really wish I had a better update for you guys. I got bounced around between 4 different agencies and departments and sat on hold for hours just to leave a message for the final person I was redirected to. I called the local PD and they took down a report, but didn’t seem all too concerned with it. Thankfully, I’m not the only person with this information who is outraged and pledged to do something about it. Many of my coworkers are supposedly doing something about this as well. Although I’m not throwing in the towel. I’ll talk to my administrator and coworkers about this when I work tomorrow, and will absolutely tell you all the SECOND I have some solid information or hear back from any of the people I left messages for. Thank you all for your support and concern! It’s nice to see people thinking selflessly of the safety of complete strangers.

Report it to the local Department of Environmental Health. If she’s running an unlicensed kitchen out of her home they will shut it down. If she’s a licensed commercial kitchen they will pull her permit

8-year-old sister had asked me whether she was born was because of sex. I honestly answered “yes” because I knew she would find out sooner or later. Also, I don’t have the heart to lie to her. Although I did not delve into the lovemaking details usually reserved for Sex Ed (penis goes into vagina, sperm fertilizes egg, etc), the way she phrased her question was one where you cannot fool her into thinking she was transported by UPS storks. I was slightly relieved she didn’t press on for what I was taught in Sex Ed, but she has absorbed how pregnancy works, one by a tell-tale sign of missing a period (which she has not completely learned yet). She had gained this knowledge by subscribing to a YouTuber who talked about her pregnancy experience (I’m guessing in vlogs and AMA form). Having her own phone, she started to do something I only remembered doing first at 15 on my desktop: googling XXX on purpose. I thought she would be searching for the movie XXX: Xander Cage or the late rapper XXXTentacion (autofill gives his profile), she actually typed in XXX as in intent to enter a pornsite. She had clicked on images and had screenfuls of naked sex, with cum dripping out in some, faces of orgasm and pain in others and period sex in one image. Her curiosity ended up in me explaining to her that the cum is “discharge” (which she didn’t probe further into) and that sex is painful, comparing it to the most painful vaccination she remembered. She listened in awe, and I was asked if I had done it before with my SO. No, sis. (context: SO didn’t consent, wanted to keep the V-card until marriage. But watched porn regularly and had friends who slept around) Since I had gone this far down the rabbit hole, I warned her that sex is by mutual consent ONLY, and she cannot do it until she is grown up (I regret not telling her both partners must be 18), and she must refuse any sexual encounters or I will personally hunt the predator down. I repeatedly emphasized that underage and/or non-consensual sex will get her and/or her partner thrown in jail. The previous paragraph, yes, were big words for an 8-year-old, so I analogized it to a game of NERF (since she is a NERF enthusiast, and I have a NERF gun at home) - “you must get your friend’s permission, and both you and them must be OK with playing NERF together. If your friend says no, and you shoot them anyway, you’re a bully and will get into trouble. Because your friend already said no.” Now, she remembers having the talk as the "NERF talk". I’m quite shaken by this. I never had “the talk” at home growing up, and I only had Sex Ed, biology, porn, and my friends’ sexual experiences to formulate this. I am concerned with how much exposure she has when she is not with me or my folks. Should I let my dad know about the talk? Is it rude for me to tap her phone (personal property) and tighten Internet control? How do I approach this? Any advice is appreciated. Also, if this is more appropriate for an asking parent forum do let me know. Thank you. **EDIT 1:** I have truly messed up by saying that sex is painful. Thank you for pointing it out. I was speaking about it from second hand accounts from my friends, who concur about the painful part. The orgasm/moaning faces that my sister saw appeared to be a look of pain to her (like a ear pull) so I had wrongly concluded. If she brings it up again I will correct myself. **EDIT 2:** To those who are @-ing me for giving her wrong info - I get it. I'm living in a household where "the talk" is straight up taboo. We all waited until middle school to have it, and it was conducted by our school. I have no choice but to step up. **EDIT 3:** Age of consent where I live is 16. Though the law views sexual relations from 16 to 18 as dependent on the relationship. If the offender was exploitative (i.e. a person of authority such as a teacher, coach, doctor) they will be charged.

She specifically asked you which means she trusted you words and based on how you told your story I think that made an impact enough for her to remember for a long time. You should definitely tell your dad about it. She's a kid and the internet is a breeding ground for pedophiles so do what you can to help her avoid that.

I've never met him before and I'm a very low-level employee that he's probably never heard of. He's joining our department for a Christmas meal and drinks and I've drawn his name in the Secret Santa for the night. The limit is £5. What on earth do I get him?

A mug with your picture on it and the caption #1 employee

Me and my ex broke up a little while ago. It was a mutual decision so we stayed in contact and we’re even friends. Well today she created a snapchat group with three of her friends. Me. And her current boyfriend. Well since I’m anti social I didn’t talk much. And the it happened. She said “I never even liked him (me), he was ugly and didn’t text me enough. I’m glad I’m with you and not that autistic bag of shit” to her current boyfriend. I left the call and she started spamming me with shit like “I didn’t mean it that way” and “please don’t be upset” I’m stunned,Upset, and need advice Edit: this blew up overnight. I just want to say I have her blocked on everything. Thank you so much to the people who helped me decide to finally cut contact with her.

Yeah, it’s time to cut contact.

Yea I’m introverted, I have a few friends, none from college mostly all from high school But damn I am loving quarantine. My dream is to literally wake up and stay stuck in my room, not just my house, but MY room the whole day, only leaving to get some food and to use the bathroom. I’m just living like any other day I used to have except walking to classes. I’m just at my laptop the whole day doing work and then watching anime, then playing some animal crossing. But when I tell my friends that I’m enjoying quarantine, they call me a horrible person and that people are dying. Of course I know people are dying, but I was simply telling them that I’m enjoying this lifestyle of being in my room all day. So after they tell me that I just decide to shut up and listen to them complain that they want quarantine to end so that they can go back to college and party with their college friends. . But Every single voice call we have, they keep mentioning that they want this to be over. Yea I get that, I want it to be over too, but they just keep saying ugh I’m so BOred aren’t you too? And tbh I’m not bored at all so I’m just sitting here faking it when I’m rly enjoying it. It makes me feel like a horrible person. Am I a bad person for actually enjoying life right now? Edit: holy cow thank you guys I didn’t rly expect anyone to see this. I woke up and saw this overwhelming amount of people responding to this post. Thank you and stay safe ❤️❤️

No, it isn't wrong to love quarantine. You like quarantine because you like spending time alone in your room. You aren't a horrible person since you like the lifestyle, not the reason why this quarantine was caused. I also kind of like this quarantine because I can sleep in and sleep really late. I also hate going to school which is another reason why I like this quarantine.

This is weird, I know. It’s even weirder to post this, but I’m just very confused right now and I feel kinda dumb. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about a year, and I’m usually the type of girl that’s up for anything. Our sex life is amazing, and we have a good communication in general. We go to the same university, we live about 10 mins from each other and in other words, things are good. His twin brother was always in the picture, and I knew they were really close even before we started dating. But I thought that was just normal, honestly it might be maybe I’m just overthinking it. I honestly don’t know. Yesterday we were in bed and out of nowhere he asks me what I think about threesomes, and whether I’ be okay to have one with his brother. After a lot of convincing, I agreed. And fine, you can judge all you want, but I just thought I’d try it, and the way he described it made it seem less crazy than it sounds as I’m writing it now. Anyways long story short, the actual threesome was okay at first. I was uncomfortable but my boyfriend initiated and it was fine. Not to get into too much detail, but there were a few red flags that kept coming up which I can’t stop thinking about. For starters, they kissed each other, a lot, among other things I can’t really get into here. But it was just off. Now I know how this sounds, I know I shouldn’t have agreed from the start, but I did. And as a result, I can’t look at him the same way. It feels like he was trying to tell me he’s in love with his brother or something. It’s just really confusing and I have no idea how to open the subject up. Like is it even my place? Sorry in advance for this weird ass freaking post, but I needed to share.

[made me think of this…](https://www.google.com/amp/s/slate.com/human-interest/2012/02/incestuous-twin-brothers-wonder-if-they-should-reveal-their-secret-relationship.amp) So, imagine if that were a twin SISTER. Incest is a line I wouldn’t cross in a relationship, it may be a good time to cut your losses.

I am naturally quite an introverted person, shy and reflective (I don’t drink alcohol, don’t smoke or use drugs and I like plausible thriller films). My work is very public facing and gradually I have become adept at dealing with the public and my colleagues in a charismatic way (to the point it is almost a different personality) . The thing is, this only works at my job (where I am running on adrenaline). Outside of it, I got nothing. One of my colleagues I have been working closely with, has expressed that they have an attraction to me. They are a stunningly beautiful woman and if I had met them outside of work, I would be completely tongue tied. What I am worried about is that they are attracted to my work persona. She might find me a bit boring I guess, outside of work.

Well to start, stop freaking out about it. What's the worst that can happen a bad date or two? And for B) Your work persona is you, or at least some part of you. She isn't interested because of a magic trick or a scam. It's you. We're all slightly different in different settings. And number 3) she might be different outside of work as well. IV) She might dig the chill you even more. So in conclusion, just talk to her. See what you guys have in common. You might make a friend, you might hit it off, or maybe just have an awkward chat/date you can tell the fake people on the internet about later. I rest my case...

I’m on mobile so I’m sorry for formatting. Also I’m sorry if this doesn’t fit this sub, I didn’t know where else to post. I (31M) was at the grocery store today and while I was checking out the man in front of me, probably in his 50s, got into a verbal altercation with the the person behind the register who was a teenage boy. It escalated and the man went behind the register and got in the cashiers face. I intervened and told the man to fuck off. The thing is I was nervous. I’m 6’3” and around 250lbs, and probably twice this mans size, but I was so nervous. My hands started to shake as the man started to confront me instead of the cashier. Another employee intervened and the man went to speak to the manager, but when I was done checking out he decided to start following me out of the store. He started berating me for nosing into his business, mocked me for shaking, and invited me to go outside with him. I called the police at that point and the man left. I feel like an idiot. I keep telling myself I did the right thing standing up for the cashier, but I feel like a coward. I didn’t have a problem standing up for someone else, but I couldn’t stand up for myself. I can’t stop thinking about this. How do I assure myself that I’m okay? Also, in case this happens again, how could I have done this differently? How do you standup for yourself without being scared? I never thought I would be a person to get nervous in this kind of scenario, and I don’t know how to feel now. Edit: This got far bigger than I imagined and I can’t express how grateful I am for the support and advice. It’s really encouraging to hear from so many that not only did I do the right thing, but that how I’ve been feeling is normal and okay. I’m sorry to everyone who works in retail, your stories of having to put up with horrid customers sound just the worst. If we’re ever in the same place, I may still shake, but I will stand up for you if someone is being a dick :)

Confrontation is hard, it's a difficult place to volunteer to be in the middle of someone's anger. You should not be ashamed for standing up, rather you should take pride in the fact that most people would have just hovered and watched. Good on you. Just because you're brave, doesn't mean you aren't scared. You did a good thing.

i feel like this is such a stupid situation. hi, i’m a 16 year old lesbian. i have four main friends, let’s call them F1, F2 and M1, M2. (F being female and M being male) i came out to my mom when i was 14, i live with her and my old sister (21). they both seemed accepting but now i feel otherwise. so my mom has been slowly trying to get me to hang out with M1 + M2 more and more. and this effects my friend ship with F1 + F2, who i am closer too and have been my best friends for 4 years. it really pissed me off but today was the last straw. it started this morning when i left for school and said “i can’t pick you up so you’re going to M1s house” and i said “why M1? F1 lives a 5 min walk away from school, M1 lives a 30 min drive and a 45 min drive away from us?” and deadass just looked at me and said “maybe if you spend more time with M1 and M2 you’ll realise how attractive they are” this turned into an argument about her respecting my sexuality and it ended in me having to get my sister to drive me to school. and then i got home. the first thing she says to me is “i texted M1s and M2s moms to make sure they’re free on your birthday” there are a few things that piss me off about this. 1) i’m 16, turning 17 in less than a month. i think i can organise my own things, (and decide my own sexuality....) 2) covid covid covid. i don’t want to be making extra unnecessary meet-ups for no reason. 3) what about my other two friends? doesn’t she think they’re going to be hurt by this if they find out? i can’t handle her favourtising my friends, even more so because of sexuality. because it’s pushing me away from my best friends and it’s just going to turn bad. edit: aWOAHHHHHH okay! i did NOT expect this many responses!! i expected like 2 comments, and thank you all so much (except you homophobes, fuck off) i will make an update post!! i’m sorry about my lack of responses to comments but i have school work aha. thank you all so much <3

Go ahead and get together with your male friends, and spend the whole time talking about cute girls you like, and exchanging dating advice. Thank your mom later, and tell her how helpful it was.

So I called the dental office before hand and told them I had a lip tattoo and not to mention it but if my mom does end up staying in the room to please try their best to block her from seeing it. So the place we went to is a little office inside a drug store so I ended up telling my mom she didn’t need to come in. She told me she wanted to and to call her in when they start. But as soon as the ladies saw my mother walk away from me to browse the store they began my scan and did it in a minute 45 seconds. Then they called in my mom and talked to her about payment stuff. So in the end it worked out. I want to thank the dental ladies for being so awesome!!

glad it all worked out so well for you :)

This sounds so fucking crazy. But basically my little tiny village from india (my dad's village we live in the city now) rarely has female kids. They either have passed away as new borns or ran away at a young age. Everyone believes that this because the place is cursed. I'm the only girl who crossed the age of 10 and still visits(I'm 22 now) the place is riddled with tradition and customs that make me uncomfortable. Example-Putting money in my shirt and then touch me and saying that they are praying. They think I'm a reincarnation of a goddess here to save the village. I fucking hate the place I would rather kms than go back. But, I don't wanna hurt my dads feelings. How do I explain this to him without seeming like I'm ungrateful or here to 'curse' the village again? The village consist of about 35 people.

Ok so if this is for real then you might want to consider staying away from there. Right now they are all loving and worshipful to you but as soon as it becomes apparent your not sowing any blessings on them they may turn violent. Thats my serious advice. &#x200B; Bonus joke advice is to start your own cult and spread your insidious tendrils throught the region gaining followers and consolidating powers until you become a nation unto yourself.

This is going to be a long read.....TL/DR at the bottom. Curious about my heritage, I submitted my DNA to two very reputable companies that asks you to basically spit into a little tube, secure it in a little zip lock bag and mail it out to them. I received my results about six weeks later and when I went to the actual website to check out my results, I clicked on a tab that gives you the option to see who else has submitted their DNA and how we are matched (genetically). I found that many relatives that I know were at the top of my lists (on the two sites). The way it works, is that the person whose DNA is closest to mine will appear at the top of the list as "potential" relatives. On both sites, I saw the name "John Doe" - name changed obv. - at the very top of my list. He was listed as a first cousin. I decided to check my inbox and saw that he had sent me a message weeks ago. (I rarely check those sites). He sent me a message stating that he saw that I was listed as his first cousin and if possible, could I contact him to see if I had any information about his birth father. He went on to explain that by this point, he had already connected with his birth mother's side of the family and they all accepted him and he is now considered part of their family. I decided to make the call. My cousin told me that he was born in California, put up for adoption and was raised in foster care until he was finally placed with a nice family. Since our genetic profile was so similar, he wanted to know if I could give him any information about his birth father. When he started asking questions, he told me that he was able to find his adoption paperwork from a Christian adoption agency. I thought, "hmmm, that's interesting. Maybe I can provide some insight about our side of the family." I wanted to help him as much as I could since I knew he was desperately trying to piece together any bit of information involving his father's side of the family. My mother (RIP) has three brothers. My oldest uncle is like a second father to me. He actually married my dad's sister so his three kids are my "double first cousins." We all grew up together as one big happy family. We shared all four grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc. We live in Texas so NEVER did I think that he could possibly be the son of any of my mother's brothers. I was thinking that he was most likely the child of one my mother's many first cousins who lived in California then and continue to live there now. Then, he emailed me the adoption records. His biological mother had provided all of the information to the agency; thus leaving this as an open adoption situation. When I read the summary, his bio mom stated that the father didn't know about the baby and that he had already left California to return to his home state of Texas. I didn't think much of it until there it was in black and white, my uncle's name was listed as the biological father. I almost fell off my chair. He was 19 years old when he fathered my cousin. At the time, my uncle (and my mom) would go to California in the summers to work as migrants in the fields alongside my grandparents. At summer's end, both he and my mother would travel back to Texas to resume their studies at their respective universities. I sent him a picture of my mom and my uncle. I heard my cousin's wife let out a loud gasp. She told me that my cousin looked exactly like my uncle. Soon thereafter, my cousin and his wife started sending me pictures. I was gobsmacked. He looks more like my uncle than my first cousins that live here. He is basically my uncle's doppelganger. I was in shock. My uncle is like a second father to my brother and me. I don't think I would've been as shocked if my younger uncles had fathered this young man. They were wild in their younger years. But no, as it turns out, my "second father" has a son he never knew about. As it turns out, he (my uncle) has four beautiful grandkids, one of which (was a semi famous) football player at a Big Ten University. My uncle has two great grandchildren. A son, grandchildren and great grandchildren that he never knew about. My cousin had so many questions. He knew absolutely NOTHING about his paternal side of the family. In a matter of two hours, I provided a door into our lives. He and his wife were crying. I was crying. I felt a connection to him. His voice sounds like my uncle's. His sense of humor and his love for his family and tender heart remind me so much of my uncle. Now comes the hard part. I called my father to tell him about everything that I had just uncovered. My father isn't an asshole but he is a very private person who doesn't take to change well. As I gave him more information, he interrupted me and demanded that I CEASE communication with my cousin. He stated that I've lived 45 years without knowing him so why should I begin to even care now? He warned me that this could be a scam to extort money from our family. We are not rich. My father lives forty miles away and I asked him to drive to my house immediately because I was NOT going to go through this alone. When he arrived, he was still quite skeptical about the whole thing. Being a man with a Master's Degree and an IQ of (not sure what it is but it's high), he insisted that this could be a hoax. I told him, "even if this was some random man claiming to be my uncle's son, GENETICS AND DNA DON'T LIE." I had printed out all of the pictures my cousin sent me because I wanted my father to see them on paper; rather than scroll through my camera roll on my phone. Every time he tried to deny that this man wasn't my uncle's biological child, BAM, I'd place a picture of my cousin on the table for him to see. Still, stubbornly, he'd say, "he looks nothing like your uncle or your cousins." Then, BAM, two more pictures. His eyes widened, he looked uncomfortable and continued to deny that this man was related to us. Again, BAM....more pictures. After that, I presented my father with the adoption agency's summary. As he read it, I could see that he was trembling. Keep in mind, as I mentioned earlier, his sister is married to my uncle. Finally, he placed the pictures and the adoption papers to the side and looked me in the eyes. He said, "You are never to speak of this. You will cease all communication with this young man TODAY. Yes, I do know that he is genetically tied to you and your mother's side of the family but SO BE IT."He stayed quiet, most like processing everything and finally said, "If my sister finds out, SHE WILL DIE." (My aunt suffers from high blood pressure). I started crying, calling him a "cold and insensitive man." I asked him, "what would you do if you found out that there was a HUMAN BEING out there that could possibly be YOUR SON?" I told him that this occurred when my uncle was NINETEEN. Yes, he was engaged to be married to my aunt but nonetheless. He was a kid who made a mistake. My father replied, "It would devastate me." However, he reiterated that we will be taking this information to the GRAVE. I talked to my brother about it and he said the same thing (my brother is an asshole). I know that dropping a bomb like this would shake up my family to it's core. However, my heart breaks for my cousin. He wants to know so much about his dad. I'm 45 years old. I'm old enough to make my own fucking decisions. My father, as much as I love and respect him, is NOT going to dictate who I allow, and don't allow into my life. My father ended up telling my uncle. I couldn't stand not knowing what my uncle was thinking or feeling so I finally made the decision to call him. I asked him to please go into a room where we could have a private conversation. I didn't have to say a word before he began speaking. The first thing he said was, "Mi'jita, I had no idea about any of this. It was the 60's. We were hippies." I kind of chuckled at that but then he told me, "If this gets out, your aunt will kick me out of the house. I WILL LOSE EVERYTHING. My wife, my children, my grandchildren." As tears were streaming down my face, I promised him that I would, indeed, take this to the grave. I have to respect his wishes. This is not my story to tell. Since then, my cousin and I have been communicating on a daily basis. I told him that sadly, we may not have the "happy ending" that we were hoping for. He understood. I'm sure it hurt him but I assured him that I would always be there for him as an extension of the one side of his family that he knew NOTHING about before. He asked so many questions. It saddened me to think that our whole lives, we grew up in a loving, nurturing, and stable environment. The irony in this situation is that during this exact time, I had a first cousin who was entangled in the foster care system. I'm not knocking the system itself, but he did share some very sad stories from his past. I gave him our family's medical history. He shares many of my uncle's afflictions. He promised me that if his father decides to never reach out to him, he would leave it at that and not create chaos within our family. He is a kind, hard working family man. I feel such a strong connection to him but this is NOT about me or how I feel. I need to respect my uncle's wishes; however, I am not going to be cruel and cut my cousin out of my life. Our daily conversations have turned into daily texts now. In a perfect world, we'd invite my cousin, his wife, his kids and grandkids to come and meet us all. I'd love to be at the airport holding up signs welcoming him to our city (and metaphorically, family). I know that that's never going to happen. Edit: I realize that this is an "Advice" Subreddit and some have pointed out that I haven't asked for advice. I apologize for that. I feel like I'm drowning here and desperately need your advice. I've read through many replies who have offered a lot of advice and that's exactly what I was looking for. Thank you so much for helping me. TL;DR: I submitted my DNA to two reputable companies. My results came in and as it turns out, I have a first cousin who lives states away who was fathered by my uncle 52 years ago. My family wants me to cease communication. I refuse to.

Wow. Heavy stuff. You're doing the right thing, have stayed absolutely honest, not caused chaos, and had the tough conversations. You sir are a decent human being.

I am an accountant at a fairly large & well known insurance agency. I was on my Instagram earlier today when I saw one of my employees suggested as a person to follow, this was odd since we already follow each other. Turns out this is my employees secondary account where she advertises her OnlyFans and "Other Services" I stopped lurking on her profile as soon as the surprise wore off. I cannot stress enough how great of an employee she is. I have no complaints only praise. Not only is she a great employee I genuinely see her as one of the best people I know. I understand this is 100% her business. What she does on her own time with her body is none of my concern. I will not share or discuss this with anyone inside work or out. The problem lays in the fact that I am not her only direct supervisor, and her profiles clearly show her face. My colleague is pretty uptight, religious, and generally disapproving. I worry that if she showed up as a suggestion on my Instagram she might to others and somehow get into the hands of my colleague who I am sure would use this to get her fired either directly for this or some other reason. I don't want to lose a hardworking employee over something that is no ones bushiness but hers. I would like to suggest to her that maybe she might want to crop or hider her face out of unpaid content. How do I talk to her about this? Do I? &#x200B; TLDR: Stumbled on employees OF worried her other boss will get her fired over it.

I would just encourage all employees to make sure they have proper privacy settings in place and leave it at that.

RESOLVED This is my first post, so sorry abt formatting, on mobile. So I (20 F) and my boyfriend (28 m) just finished game of thrones, we got really into it and binged it in a month, but my boyfriend has randomly started calling my cootchie Cersei and now it’s all the time. Is Cersei hungry for the D, how is Cersei today, I’m gonna f$ck Cersei later. And he does it everywhere. Yesterday we were at the grocery store and he said out loud that he was gonna “play with Cersei when we get home.” I find it to be a major turn off and have told him that but he won’t stop doing it. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable and I have this feeling he’s gonna rename it after whatever show we get into next. How to I get him to stop? I’ve tried calling his d!!k Tyrian and he didn’t care. —Cersei is the evil queen and Tyrian is a dwarf in case you haven’t watched game of thrones— Edit: wow I wasn’t expecting this to blow up so much, in trying to read all the comments and reply to as many as I can. Basically what I understand is that I need to stop the sex, have a serious conversation with him, and somehow make him less old. Update: thanks for all of the advice. I sat him down when he got home and I had a serious conversation with him about boundaries and what exactly I didn’t like about it. He did agree to stop but I expect him to slip up a few times since he’s gotten in the habit of doing it. All in all everything worked out. Edit: let me make this very clear, he didn’t go after a 17 year old. We worked together and my manager was a lesbian who had the hots for me, so she would ask him leading questions, I.e. would you bend her over and slap her ass, don’t you think those titties are juicy, ect. Then she’d relay what he’d said to me. Basically living vicariously through us. I went after him, not the other way around. It was supposed to be a one and done, obviously that’s not how it happened.

Nickname his dick Littlefinger and then stop fucking him because he's a weirdo.

Okay so basically 20 minutes ago I was texting my girlfriend and she sent me one of those copypastas where it’s like a guy dancing but it’s made up of / and ( and stuff like that. I went on r/copypasta to try and find something funny to send back and I found the jackpot. A gay fan fiction about shrek, titled: Shrek is love. Quotes from this include: “He skewers me on his shrock (shrek-cock) and begins using my asshole to pleasure himself.” So I sent it to my unsuspecting girlfriend. 15 minutes later I checked if there was a response but then I realized I hadn’t sent it to my girlfriend, I had sent it to my 82 year old grandmother... for some unknown, bewildering reason I don’t have pictures or special names for anyone on my phone and my grandma and girlfriend’s names start with the same two letters. Her image of me is a nice, smart, handsome young man AND I JUST SENT HER A GAY SHREK PORNO. HELP ME. I don’t know what to do and she hasn’t opened it yet. What do I say???? On iMessage you can’t delete a message on someone else’s phone so that’s out of the question. All the while my girlfriend is laughing at me over the phone and I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. PLEASE HELP ME. Update: [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/f7xehv/update_i_sent_gay_shrek_porn_to_82yo_grandma/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)

Tell her you got hacked and its a virus. You will come over to delete the virus.

I went tubing for the first time-- didn't really want to myself, but chances to spend time with my family are rare these days. The water's been high. Very first set of rapids, my tube flips: I smash my head into the rocks and my foot ends up stuck. Everything's fuzzy, can't tell what's up or down, any extra breath was knocked out of me. The taste of blood and water snaps me into it enough to kick myself free. I surface a couple times, but keep getting pulled back under. My head hits another rock. The next time I surface, someone is screaming for me to grab a rope. Things ended up alright from there. Not really an actual 'near-death experience' but idk what would've happened without those guys. When it was happening, my thoughts were: "It's alright. We've never been happy, so it's okay. It's okay. This means we can stop suffering. We can finally stop." I felt *relieved* that my life was going to end. In nature at that, on a nice day. Despite the pain, no alarm bells ever went off. I felt a peace I've never had before. It's been a week. Every single night since, it's nightmare after nightmare-- the 'shot awake, drenched in sweat' kind. It takes me forever to calm back down. Even taking showers makes me tense. I'm still concussed/bruised/missing a chunk of tongue, so it's hard to take my mind off of it. This was an accident that ended *well,* so why am I this upset? Am I supposed to feel this angry at myself? Am I overreacting? What are you supposed to think in a situation like that? :-( &#x200B; edit: Thank you guys so much for all of the replies, I'm reading everything. Appreciate it more than I know how to explain <3 I'll be seeing my regular doctor and a therapist asap, as well as tackling some of the things I've always been too afraid to do.

Trauma like that can have lasting effects. You're not *supposed* to feel any which way. What you went through was powerful. You went through the mental process of accepting death as it was potentially happening to you. Thats nothing to scoff at. Thats intense. I'd suggest therapy. Find a therapist who specializes in PTSD. It may not feel like you have PTSD like you've seen in the movies, but it can be a spectrum. Everyone responds to trauma differently. You need to talk this one out.

I’ve posted on here before for advice because it was the first time anyone I knew that was close to me had a serious illness. But today she’s just got the all clear and we’re all super excited for her!! :D I wish everyone who’s going through a tough time all the best wishes possible. This year has really made me rethink life choices and it’s all turned out for the better. Thank you Reddit for being so great ❤️❤️

That's so good to hear❤️

So, today is my 22nd birthday and no body has remembered. I was expecting it but it's hurting a lot more than I realised. I haven't been this lonely before, really struggling in lockdown / over this year. Not sure how to pick myself up or feel even slightly relevant to anyone. Any advice here?

Honestly, if it weren't for Facebook I'd forget most people's birthdays. I'd probably try to spoil myself rotten today by myself, and maybe talk about it with people who're actually close to you still. They're probably just a bit in their own heads and haven't noticed, and if they're decent at all, they'd likely apologize and congratulate you (just don't be confrontational about it). Happy birthday!

Last night my little sister texted me on her tablet. She said she was “sad and embarrassed with a mix of disgust” (her words.) I inquired why, and she replied: “i like my best friend and she’s a girl :(“ I took a minute just looking at that text and feeling so sad. Not because she likes girls, but because she’s so upset about it. Ever since she could talk, I’ve tried my hardest to raise her with the notion that some people like girls, some like boys, and some like both or neither. I do not stand as her parent in anyway and haven’t lived with her since I was 17 (which was three years ago, but my parents don’t go out of their way to let us know that it’s okay if either of us specifically are gay. They’re not homophobic as far as I know, but I personally haven’t told them about how I like girls because I’ve always felt that they would behave strangely about it. I don’t know if my sister is upset because she’s hearing something negative about gay people at home, or maybe at school. All in all, I’m not sure what is making my sister feel this way. I called up my sister to video chat as soon as my sister texted me about liking her best friend. I told her about how I found out that I like girls in addition to boys when I was fifteen. She listened to everything I had to say, but if I asked her a question she would just stare at me. The poor girl clearly didn’t want to talk about it, but still wanted to hear what I had to say. I didn’t press her any further whenever she wouldn’t talk to me, and I told her that it was okay that she didn’t want to talk about it. After that I asked her if she had told our parents, but she didn’t answer. I let her know that it was okay if she didn’t want to tell them, and that I hadn’t told our parents about me liking girls, but that it was also okay if she did want to tell them. Overall she was quiet for the whole conversation, and I tried my best to remind her that liking somebody, no matter their gender, is an incredible thing as long as they’re treating you well. I feel like I could be doing more for her. I remember trying to figure out whether I like girls or not when I was a teenager, and I can’t begin to imagine what it’s like as a child. This is an important time in her life, and I want to be there for her in every way that I can. It’s hard when I can’t relate to young children in this way, and also that we live in separate states from each other. The fact that she’s hurting about this hurts me as well. What can I tell her?

You did the right thing. You supported and loved her unconditionally. If you’re able to, I would try an see her in person or drop hints to your parents about LGBT things and see what they say (Ex: “did you know gay marriage was legalized in 2015?”) just stuff like that. If you’re not comfortable doing that, it’s okay but you did everything you could. You handled the situation perfectly and you did amazing. There’s not much else you can do besides wait for her to talk to you about it or ask her if she wants to talk

I’m 17f and my little sister is 8. She’s my favorite person in this household and we are very close. We often hug or kiss each other on the cheek or cuddle under a blanket. Well yesterday she came into my room around 6am and I was watching dragon ball z and she likes the show as well so she climbed into bed with me and we cuddled and watched it together. 10 minutes later my moms bf bursts into my room saying that it’s weird for her to be in my room this long and said “idk what the fuck you’re doing but I know something is going on”. I told him he needed to mind his own damn business and that there’s nothing inappropriate about what we do. He said that since I’m a lesbian I can’t be trusted alone with her and I got so pissed off at the implication. My mom said that I should listen to him even though she disagrees with what he said and I’m not doing it. How can I convince them that our relationship as siblings is entirely innocent

Time for a serious talk with your mother. Sit her down, remain level headed and let her know this incident has really disturbed you. Tell her you are very upset and uncomfortable with the idea her boyfriend, who lives in your family home is not aware of the difference between ‘lesbian’ and ‘pedophillia’. Let her know you are no longer trusting or comfortable around him if he thinks you would ever sexually molest your sister, because that is exactly what he is suggesting. Tell her this needs to be addressed by her and both you and your sister are watching to see how she handles it. Let her know you hope she chooses to support her daughters and not her boyfriend in this incident. A mother is the biggest role model a daughter has. Will she act like it? For you and your sister, I hope so.

My older sister stole my brothers motorcycle and sold it. Over 40 years ago. I never told my brother because I was afraid of my sister. She’s a psychopath, she admitted to me that she believes she is. Now we are getting ready to settle our parents estate and I believe my brother needs to know how evil she is. Should I tell him?

You should absolutely let him know. Not in a mean way, but he needs all the facts.

I hadn’t seen him since that happen and on Father’s Day they came down with their kids I had heard from my grandma that he was coming with my aunt and I said why?!? Well I had a full blown anxiety attack at work and got sent home. I went to the family dinner because she was there I just tried to not look at him or talk to him because I’m just there so I can see my aunt well the whole night he would occasionally try to talk to me I just wanted to fucking stab him and when I went home I cried having all the memories rush back. I was told he is coming with my aunt this Christmas, but my mom called her 2 months ago telling her to not bring him around again. Then I find out he’s coming. How do I tell her seeing him just makes me remember everything and angry that he acts like he never did anything to me. I want her to understand I love my aunt but if I have to I will cut off aunt. Advice really needed I appreciated

If your family knows, what the actual fuck are they doing bringing him around? Is he allowed around kids in your family? Jesus fuck!

Post is as title says. I’ve been to the doctors over this situation already (the big poops) and my doctor says it’s normal sometimes to just have big poops. But I’m scared because everytime I poop and don’t break it up, it clogs the toilet. I’m planning on taking miralax fo help, however, I’m still nervous. I’m scared about clogging the toilet tomorrow. I have to use the bathroom as we speak and i don’t think miralax can help at this point...

Invest in a poop knife.

I fell into the trap -- more commonly known as the 'American Dream.' Got the good job, bought the big house, wife, kids, minivan. All of it. But everything is becoming increasingly more difficult. I thought I did a good thing, bucking the narrative that millennials can't afford houses by buying one, I was so wrong. I can't afford it. I mean, I'm paying for it; I've even cut out avocado toast (kidding, I love that shit). Really though, is this how the dream goes? I'm genuinely asking. I love my family and all, its just that I can't seem to look beyond the endless roller coaster. Its like a game of, "Whats Going to Break You this Month!?" Probably winter coats, maybe school supplies, groceries, therapy (joking again, deductible is too high for that). Thoughtful insights? Company for misery? I'll be here though, scouring the internet for coupons so that I can one day succumb to a more formidable foe than winter coats.

Well, you're a step ahead of my wife and I. We've been trying to start a family for years but unfortunately life said no. I can relate on all other fronts though. The human mind is a pain in the butt. It loves new, stops caring once the novelty wears off, but prefers routine at the same time. When your current state feels bland, you need to remind yourself of what made it attractive in the first place. The saying goes "you don't know what you have until it is gone." I have a migraine at the moment, and it makes me wonder why I don't appreciate the times when I don't have a migraine... Life, home ownership, etc comes with a cost. Cost of ownership will wear you down as it does anyone who works for a living. The best advice there is to carve out time for *you.* Everyone has a passion, something that can take away from the routine of modern life. Personally, I love writing music and building cars. My career is mentally demanding, so it's nice to give my mind a break from time to time. Sometimes I need a "lazy" day to just unwind. It's ok to hit pause once in a while. As for the "what's going to break you this month" dilemma, it comes in waves. You'll have a few months that seem calm. Then, life will throw a crap-loaded shovel at you. The good news is, fix enough things and you buy yourself some time between things breaking. That at least takes care of the maintenance-related worries. The other side of life is more unpredictable. When I was in my early 20's, I would get home from work and practice the guitar for 4-5 hours each night, without fail. I had lots of time and few responsibilities. After I got married, got pets, bought a bigger house with a yard, my free time became less and less. For a while, I was lucky if I got 30 minutes to play. The best trick there is time management. We identified what was consuming our time, and tried to come up with a plan to make it more efficient. The to-do list was daunting, but gnawing at it little by little eventually cut it down to nothing. Don't overwhelm yourself by trying to fix the world in one day. There are online services you can sign up for that free up time. We started doing Hello Fresh and automating purchasing a lot of the commodity items. Grocery store runs are now 10 minutes instead of an hour. I put a maintenance schedule up in the garage for all of our vehicles, tractor, other gas-powered stuff, and I included all of the wrench sizes for the oil plugs, filters, you name it. That saved me a *ton* of time. Little things like that add up. As for a reset? Try to do a lifestyle reset- don't take on *anything* new for the time being, just focus on improving the current state. Get organized, efficient, etc. Then, you can remove what isn't necessary (tasks, possessions, etc). I used to own a lot of stuff that just sat around, taking up mental and physical space (oh man, I have to clean that stuff, move that stuff, change the oil even though I haven't driven it in a while...). Little by little, you can work towards a more efficient lifestyle and use the time you saved to put some "New" into your life. Take the wife and kids to a state park and go hiking/camping, or introduce them to a new hobby. Believe me, if I was in your shoes, that's what I'd be doing :)

Like the title says. I have no car insurance and no money. I literally have 7$ in my bank account right now. Not sure what to do Edit: Someone has offered to help me out. Thank you for everyone who gave me serious advice.

Why do you need car insurance as terms for employment? Does the job involve driving?

Im 17. Not allowed a job either as i (125lbs, 5'7) am anemic and almost got hit walking on the hwy the only roads near us (southern town no public transport for 45+ miles) no sidewalks or bike lanes (not even allowed bike and hell i would NOT even bike in the hwy as im not allowed a phone and would just die there if i got hit as i cant phone for help or go to hospital) town is 8 miles from us i mentioned im anemic because i cannot walk 16 miles a day (8 miles to get a job, work 9 hours and walk 8 miles back). So they also refuse to teach me how to cook the only things im allowed to eat are tv dinners and tinned food(not money issue they make food for themselves but tell me i can only have tv dinners/ tinned food) but i tried making eggs and toast on the stove my dad came out cussing and hit my wrist and called me a stupid fucking pos. Like idk how normal this is (im not even allowed to use computer but im Sneaking on to write this)

You need to call authorities and get help, this is not normal

It's worth noting that I'm more than twice her age; and I'm as confused as you probably are disgusted at this point. &#x200B; Due to family circumstances, I'm occasionally spending time with a seemingly normal 11yo girl, a very distant relative of mine. Her and her mother are staying in the house temporarily. Girl obviously developed a crush on me. Keeps staring at me, seeks any excuse to hug me, etc.... No big deal, I thought it was cute at first. &#x200B; It got weird a few nights ago. We were sitting on the couch, she's watching cartoons, I'm messing with my phone. Out of nowhere she sits in my lap, missionary style (I don't know how else to call it?), facing me, puts her arms around my neck and kisses me on a cheek. &#x200B; \-"Uh Katie, what are you doing?" &#x200B; \-"Playing a game" &#x200B; She managed to plant 2 more quick kisses on my cheek (getting uncomfortably close to my mouth) before I lifted her off me. She wouldn't let go of my neck at first, but eventually I managed to sit her down next to me. &#x200B; I asked her if she plays these games a lot. She vaguely described that she ocassionaly does with her best friend, who's a girl the same age. I honestly never played these games with my friends, but I heard girls can be much "closer?" with their girlfriends, eitherway I didn't prod too much further. &#x200B; I tell her that we should probably do something else, implying that there's more appropriate games we can play (Monopoly?). It must have came out wrong though, because without missing a beat she says: &#x200B; \- "What would you like me to do to you? ...Or I can kiss you again?" &#x200B; The audacity and phrasing of the question stunned me. I never been painted into the corner with 2 false alternatives by a child. I chose 3rd option of "We should call it a night". She looked somewhere between sad, disappointing, and embarrassed. &#x200B; I can't decide what I should do: &#x200B; Option 1: Tell her really sternly that this behavior is innapropriate, and she should never do that. She's very self conscious and sensitive, and I'm afraid to make her feel like she's a bad person for what she did. I once told her jokingly to tie her shoelaces properly so she doesn't trip, and she still obsessively fixes them anytime I'm around. &#x200B; Option 2: Talk to her mother (dad is not in a picture... I know, shocking!...). I suspect her mother will chew her out, and tell her to never bother me again. I think that would be an overreaction, that might also damage her self-esteem. &#x200B; Option 3: Try not to be alone with her anymore. Ignore her affections as much as possible. Continue to gently remove myself out of difficult situations if they arise again. &#x200B; Right now I'm leaning towards Option 3, since it requires minimum actions on my part. This allows me to avoid confrontation, spare her feelings, and preserve certain amount of normalcy without it getting too weird. \*EDIT:\* Thanks guys, you've been great. I never wanted this to get too popular, and I only expected 1 or 2 solid replies. I did however read through everyone's comments, and will continue to do so for as long as they come in. I have made a decision that I think will be correct one for everyone involved, and since I don't want this thread to become a circus this will be my last edit/post.

Please tell the mom ASAP for your own sake. The last thing you need is her mom finding out on her own as it can definitely be misinterpreted.

My 14 year old cat was diagnosed with limphoma cancer and the vet told me chemotherapy is not an option, having in mind the severity of her condition. I can't do anything for her, other than keep her company and feed her her favorite food, and snuggle her, but I see the light in her eyes going out every day a little by little, she's moving less. I see in her eyes that she's aware the end is near, and I can't help her, and it's killing me. She's my first ever pet and she's got me through some serious lows in life and honestly I don't know how to deal with this. Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Love her hard. If she knows her end is near and she still wants to be around you while her flame dies out than your job is to make her feel as comfortable and loved as possible. It may suck that Christmas is around the corner but in actuality, this could be a blessing in disguise as most people right now are getting a long weekend off from work. This will give you the opportunity to spend every minute with her and make her last moments special. Sorry about your situation, you two will meet again. My cat Otis disappeared almost a year ago. He was an inside outside cat and he was the best cat I’ve ever had. I know he’s gone and probably dead now but I see him in so many things and I know that his spirit and his liveliness lives on. It was hard on my but Otis was a no worries be happy kind of cat and I knew that’s how I had to carry on too.

I have to delete the description. This blew up and I don’t want her to see it. Thank you all for your responses, I will respond to them as soon as I can.

It’s definitely not normal statistically, that’s for sure. I agree with you, it’s creepy. It’s odd. It doesn’t seem warranted.

The title really says everything. I had sent a stuffed animal to my girlfriend and she was obsessed with it. She named her Biscuit and treated her so appreciative. She passed away last Sunday and I expect Biscuit to be here soon. I don't want Biscuit to become damaged. I am fearful of anything happening to her, or if something does happen (getting dirty, time taking its tole, one of my pets getting ahold of her) I want to know what to do and how to do it properly. I want to know what anyone else has experienced with their stuffed animals and if their are ways to prevent this. I just want help right now. I am unsure if I am allowed to posts links here, but I have a link to where I had bought Biscuit from. Thank you in advance to anyone that responds. Anything is helpful. Edit: While in most situations, I would agree in that a display case would be ideal, I know my girlfriend wouldn't have wanted that. I intend to have Biscuit in my bed. I do not want to just hide her away or anything of the sort.

if you’ve got pets and you’re planning to keep biscuit on your bed, make sure your pet can’t get on top of the bed. even well trained pets can have bad days and decide to use the wrong item as a chew toy

My ex and I broke up a few months ago, we were engaged and it was a pretty ugly breakup. She got into another relationship almost immediately. Tonight one of my friends sent me screenshots of bumble messages between her and my ex’s current boyfriend. I sent the screenshots to my ex, but now I’m feeling like I might have made a mistake by overstepping boundaries. I don’t want to break them up because as far as I know she’s happy, but I felt like she had a right to know what’s going on. Have I made a mistake? Edit: it’s late so I’m sure she won’t respond until the morning but now I can’t sleep knowing I might have really messed up. Edit 2: she just called and cussed me out and accused me of lying about it. Thanks for all the kind words, though. Edit 3: I see a lot of comments saying that I’m still hung up on her. I’m not. I will always care for her in a way that she was someone I was once in love with, but I have moved on. I’ve moved four states away and I’ve started a relationship with another girl now. My current girlfriend was next to me when I got the screenshots from my friend, and she actually encouraged me to tell my ex because she understood and said she would want someone to tell her if she was in my ex’s position.

Nah wasn’t a mistake man you did the right thing and were a good human being. If she don’t believe you, oh well you tried, but at least you opened her eyes maybe you know?

Uhhh you know when you are insanely nervous or anxious through a matter (meeting a crush when you are younger, giving a speech in college or running a meeting at work) and you get that horrid feeling of "oh great, now my face is all red" and it makes you that much more nervous? And then there is always that one DICKHEAD who calls it out, "Dude why are you so red!" "Omg you are blushing!". This is obviously NOT what the blushing person wants to hear and it makes the whole matter WORSE. STOP CALLING THIS OUT. Some people actually suffer with a condition that causes blushing all the time and there have even been individuals who have KILLED THEMSELVES over it. There is also a Greys Anatomy episode on it. Most people will act like it is no big deal and deem it off as "cute". But I for one hate that I blush because then everyone in the room knows my feelings and I do not like my feelings to be outed like that. Sometimes I blush at the most INAPPROPRIATE of times and wonder why I am blushing? Anyone else have blushing issues? It can be something so debilitating at times. Edit: Wow these responses have been amazing, we are all so in this together. I would blush severely and all the time when younger and it still occurs today even over the silliest of things! Thank you all from the most sincere part of me as you made me feel better and I hope we all felt a sense of relief when we could say, "YES ME TOO!" .

I have really bad social anxiety and I blush incredibly easily. Seriously, if more than a couple people have their attention on me, I turn red. It doesn't happen around people I'm comfortable with but it happens at least once a day at work and I hate it so much. The people who point it out are the worst.

Well exactly what the title states, also I’m writing this on mobile sorry for any formatting issues. My (28f) ex-fiancée “Derek” (32m) disappeared the morning of our wedding 2 years ago, evading all attempts to reach him from myself and his family. It was devastating, absolutely soul crushing, the event turned into a party to distract from the pain of the unknown, afterwards I returned to our apartment and slept on the bathroom floor in my wedding dress. It was quite the ugly sight to be honest. His mother ended up coming to the apartment when she informed me tearfully that Derek had run off with an ex of his, they had apparently reconnected a week prior to wedding and he just couldn’t go through with it opting instead to rekindle his relationship with his ex. His family was horrified, I didn’t hear from him until 3 months after he left. He called me, apologised and then revealed that his ex had been hiding his child from him that he just found out about, he wanted to be with them. That’s pretty much all that was said, I didn’t say much, actually I think I only said “hello”. The whole situation left me numb, I just didn’t care anymore. Thankfully though my friends were and continue to be there for me, through all of this muck, they encouraged me to seek therapy and work on healing. Which I’ll be honest was terribly difficult, but after year I felt myself again. Which brings me to today, after the this whole debacle and subsequent self improvement/rebuilding I moved to the UK (originally from Australia) for a change in scenery. Last night I got a message request on instagram, it was Derek. “Hey 👋🏻, I’ve heard you moved to Wales, that’s so cool, I’m travelling to Cardiff towards of the end of July. I’m deeply sorry about everything and I want to discuss what happened leading up to the wedding. I hope Im not overwhelming you, let me know if you’d like to talk over lunch.” Firstly, no idea who told him about my move. Secondly, I don’t know if I crave closure from him, but I also don’t won’t to decide to decline to only layer on regret my decision. So I turn to you strangers of the internet, what should I think about before reaching a decision? Would be wise to decline or should I humour him and listen to his “reasons”? Okay minor update: Wow, this garnered far more attention than I anticipated, so bare with as I try to navigate all of your advice. Although the general consensus is quite clear. I have learned that an old mutual friend of ours revealed where I moved, and evidently he’s been stressing that he needs to tell me something. For the time being I have decided to simply ignore his message, and work through any emerging feelings with my therapist. Thanks Update: Hi, so as I mentioned previously I decided to not respond to his message. A day after I received another message from him, which I won’t write out in its entirety, to sum it up he apologised for how disingenuous his previous message was and explained why he had reached out to me. Essentially he wanted to discuss that week, that final week before our wedding and why he left without discussing it. I’ll be honest I’m gonna refrain from going into detail about our whole stories here, but I will say my ex-fiancé (thank you for the correction btw) has been diagnosed with Avoidance PTSD from past experiences, I feel for him but I told him that I still couldn’t move past being left in a state of limbo for 3 months. Irregardless, ultimately I agreed to meet him, and I don’t regret it. He’s not with his ex, I’ve found she’s actually since passed away, which is part of the reason that she reached out to me, and yes the child is his. The lunch was short and in the end he handled me an envelope, which contained all of the money we spent preparing for the wedding. It all honesty it was cathartic for me, I’ve often feared that I’m still subconsciously harbouring feelings for him, but the lunch proved I didn’t. I’ve closed that chapter of my life, with him, with the woman I was and now, now I’m free. Thank you all

I wouldn't bother. Youve closed that chapter. Don't open old wounds for yourself. He's selfish AF.

This is a throwaway. So I (48m) was looking on reddit the other day and came across a vaguely familiar sounding post about family. I checked out the profile and was pretty shocked when I realised it was my daughter (16f). Now I would normally have just ignored it and forget. But when I was reading posts to confirm it was her, there were posts that made me very uncomfortable because I fear they will bring attention from the wrong kind of people. She has posted selfies and flirts in the comments with a lot older men. Am I being overprotective and should I just let this go?

I would keep an eye on it if she’s talking to older men. That could go real bad, real quick, if she decides to sneak out and meet up with someone. Whether you tell her explicitly that you found her profile is up to you. Keep in mind if you tell her, she will most likely delete it and make a new one, so she could be up to the same things, you just wouldn’t know about it. Perhaps talk to her about the dangers of talking to older men on the internet, and how predators target young girls and do very bad things to them (rape, kidnapping, to name a few) if they meet up. But don’t mention her profile, just treat it as a “father-daughter life lesson” conversation. Also tell her how sending naked pictures can really ruin her life if they get sent everywhere (not to mention it’s illegal because she’s a minor)

I went into foster care when I was 8 years old along with my younger sister and older brother. We had monthly visits with my mum but my dad (under social services recommendation) was never able to see us. We stayed with the same foster family throughout and they were always so good to us. My dad would pop up here and there - randomly coming to our house which terrified me. The last time he tried to contact me was a week before my A- Levels when I was 18. He was told to check in again in a month or few months after but never did. (I wasn't told he tried to contact me until the funeral). I guess I always thought he had moved on with his life. That I maybe wasn't important anymore as so much time as passed. I found out a month ago he died of a heart attack (at 58). I'm 24 now. I flew back home to Ireland and when I arrived everyone who knew him, knew me. They were fully update on what I was doing - going to law school, living in London etc. I was shocked. I asked how they knew all this. They told me my dad told them, how he spoke about me all the time. He even had our names on his car number plate and would never let my brother drive a car he kept for me. He saved all his money and lived so below his means. He worked 7am-10pm Mon-Sat doing any job he could and saving all the money he could for us all. I was so shocked when I returned - he spoke about me so much. I just thought he forgot about me. I always read stories of sibling or family who were estranged and one then died. I didn't ever think it would be me. My brother called me a selfish bitch for never reaching out to my dad (he moved back home when he was 16) but I thought he moved on with his life. I feel so horrible. I feel so robbed of any potential to reconcile. I feel shocked that he really did live his entire life around me. I am struggling so much. People tell me I'm lucky it was a heart attack - that it was fast but I wish it wasn't. I wish he was in hospital for a week. At least then I would have time to do something. To see him. My dad didn't have an easy life growing up - he was autistic and had Aspergers -- he grew up in a very hard catholic family who's dad abused him so badly. From that I think he struggled himself. Obviously I understand this as I've gotten older but it just breaks my heart to think how bad his life has been and then on top to have a daughter who never reached out. I wonder if I reacted badly one time he reached out he thought to never reach out again. I can't describe how much I would GIVE to just have an hour with him, but I can't. I'm so broken.

You say you dad popped up randomly which terrified you. You were taken away at 8 years old for a reason. It’s not up to you to maintain a relationship with him. He had 16 years to reach out. To message you. To talk to you. You are the child. He is the parent. The burden was on him, not you. You are not a bad person for not reaching out to someone who never indicated TO YOU that they actually do care about you. What about family even? Your brother had 16 years to reach out to you. Any of these people your dad talked to could have found you. No one ever did. That’s not your fault.

Our Airbnb we rented has 13 cameras on the exterior of the house. 3 are pointed directly at the hot tub. Per Airbnb’s rules, exterior security cameras are allowed, but have to be disclosed in the “rules” on the Airbnb ad. Ours was not. We got here (after an 8 hour drive) only to see the cameras everywhere. The host met us and said security cameras were outside, but we were uncomfortable to say anything, and also didn’t realize THERE WERE 13 OF THEM. should I straight up report this to Airbnb, or should I confront the host and give him a chance to disclose the cameras to other future renters? All in all, I probably wouldn’t have booked this Airbnb if i knew ahead of time it had 13 cameras monitoring the outside of the house - 3 being pointed at the hot tub.

Report it. There's a whole porn fetish about this, stranger hidden cams. There's a good possibility that there's a bunch hidden inside, too. Where you think Giselle (sic) Maxwell got all those tapes.

When I’m out and about, I see very few people wearing masks. Adults, children, employees, everyone goes uncovered. Many times I’m the only one in the whole store who wears a mask and I feel ashamed? Like I should take it off? The death toll is rising, my whole family contracted Covid and my grandma is permanently on oxygen due to it, yet I still feel ashamed? I get conflicted, I don’t know if I’m wrong or if they’re wrong. Then I think about my grandma on oxygen and I’ll temporarily feel secure with my actions but still.. it’s a psychological mindfuck. Sometimes I just want to say screw it and rip it off since no one cares. I want to protect people, but other times I’ll have moments where I don’t give a fuck who dies or gets sick. Me and my family included. I don’t associate with any political party but I feel I can’t trust either of them because they’ll just be biased towards their own group. I hate this Update: Thank you so much for the support. I’m crying and sniffing from the overwhelming warmth this gives me. I don’t feel scared, alone, or ashamed anymore when I think of the thousands of people — all of you guys — holding my hand throughout this. The fog has cleared from my mind. You are the ones I want to and will protect. Thank you.

Don’t be ashamed be proud that you care about the wellbeing of others. Leading by example is what will drive others to follow you

My dog (his name is chewy) is being taken to the vet by my dad as I’m typing this post. Chewy is ten years old and he watched me grow up since I was 4. He was a great dog. Every time I came home from a baseball game he would sit right in front of my bed while I changed out of my uniform and got ready for the shower. He would wait for me by my bed to finish my shower and when I got back to my bed he’d hop up and lay right next to me while I watched tv. He would wait for me at the gate when I came home every day from school. I have two more dogs that I love just as much as chewy, and I have had a dog and a cat die before, but the dog was only ours for a couple days and then it ran away and got hit by a car when I turned 8 so I really had no idea how to feel about it. (I loved her but I was little and I didn’t understand that she was gone) Now that chewy is being put down my heart is broken. I know I should’ve went with my dad but he works and I wouldn’t have a ride home, and he didn’t want me to be there while my dog died. I can’t imagine being in a room as my dog is being put down, the look on his face unable to understand what is happening. I couldn’t imagine the mental scar that would leave me. I don’t know how to cope with it though and I dont like people seeing me crying because it makes me look vulnerable and I hate that. Please help. EDIT: Thank you to everyone who commented and showed their support. I’m sorry for not replying to you guys but I’ve listened to and taken all your advice. I feel awful for not replying to any comments especially the ones that were well thought out and were extremely thoughtful and understanding.

It’s ok for men to cry period. I’m sorry for your loss though.

my stomach hurt rlly bad this morning so i had no choice but to go to the br. i tried flushing and it wouldnt go down so its just sitting in the toilet. she hasnt woken up yet so idk if i should tell her or just leave and act like idk. ive tried flushing and it just goes rlly slow like idk what to do. i dont wanna flush too many times cuz it’ll overflow UPDATE: OK SO SINCE YALL WANNA NO WHAT ENDED UP HAPPENING - so while my friend was asleep i tried the dish soap and hot water method which did not work at all btw, would not recommend. so i ended up telling my friend and she told me it was no big deal bc the toilet is kinda weird anyway and it wasnt my fault. she ended up having to unclog it after i left for HRS and at one point she contemplated shitting in a bag lolololol i feel so bad but she was so sweet about it.

damn. ask if they have something. look up ways to unclog with a plunger idk. don’t leave shit in the toilet though that’s real insulting 💀

Due to covid, my husband lost 2 jobs, our almost finalized mortgage application got denied, and our landlord decided to not renew our lease (for the house we were buying). We went from having a monthly income of around $4,500 to an income of $2,000 (my job and husband's unemployment). We were on the absolute brink of homelessness with a immunocompromised child. A friend of a friend was selling a trailer in a trailer park a few towns away. We had no other options, so we used our saved up down payment to buy it in full. We went from a ~$150,000 house to a trailer that needs some work, plus a 40 minute drive for me to get to work. But cut our expenses (between new utility projections and lot rent) by about $1000 a month. It'll still be a struggle due to income changes but we'll survive. We moved in 2 weeks ago. Our son made a friend who lives a few trailers away. He's 12 and a nice kid, but his family fits the stereotype of trailer park people. The boy is severely underweight and free roams all day. He walks into our place without knocking, which is dangerous for us because we own 3 very expensive exotic birds. We've resorted to having to keep doors locked at all times to prevent him just walking in. When we do let him in, he starts playing with our gaming devices without asking, raids our fridge, goes in whatever room he wants... It's a bit disturbing. I've met his mom and she is very odd. I hate to be "that" kind of person, but she seems unfit. She seems to be very mentally ill and appears to have a drug problem Since the day we moved in, he shows up at or just before dinner time every single day. He makes comments about how he's hungry and asks if he can eat. I feel horrible for him because I do not want to see kids hungry and he's clearly underfed at home. But we can't afford to feed him everyday. I know it's just one extra portion but with all of our savings gone due to the move, we are now literally living pay check to pay check. Leftovers from dinner are the next days lunch for my husband who now is the stay at home parent and is homeschooling our son. We don't qualify for any state assistance, so all food/bills/expenses are paid by us in addition to insurances and student loan payments. How do I nicely explain to his boy or his mom that we cannot feed him everyday? I've never been in a situation like this before an am dumbfounded on how to handle it.

I mean if you're aware that a child is starving and unsupervised you have a moral and legal obligation to call CPS. So please do that.

Cross posting for some exposure, don't really use reddit that much. This is a bit of a weird situation, and one that is stupid but kind of hurts a little. Backstory. I was pretty ugly growing up. Not your "oh, you just lack confidence" sort of situation, but like, actually a pretty shit draw in the genetic lottery. I have kids who blurt out "mom what's wrong with his face" to me these days still. I don't let it get to me since it doesn't matter. That said, it didn't really affect me growing up that much. I knew it early on, and instead I played the class clown, and was really outgoing. Throughout high school I started lifting, and I'm actually quite built. It's just, the face is a huge turn off. As for dating, I never really had much luck. I was always "that guy friend", that all the girls wanted. I listen, I'm compassionate I think. Anyways, I have a girlfriend now. She loves me for who I am and I honestly could see a future with her. She got her wisdom teeth removed last weekend. I was there with her, and she was talking with the nurse about her life goals and whatnot. She was pretty sedated and it was quite funny to be there. The nurse beckoned me over for something, and she mentioned to my gf that "you have a handsome boyfriend". I knew she was being kind, but then my gf responded with something like this: GF: "Oh stop, you know he's not a looker at all but he's the kindest most caring person in the world". Nurse: "that's not true, he seems like both!" GF: "he is ugggggly, wait until you see him". I've never let it affect me until then. I tuned out after hearing that. It really fucking stings. Should I just forget about this, or do I talk about this with her? Is this a stupid thing to get hung up over or what? Like I get it. I know I'm not the best looking person in the world up in the face area but still.

Be strong brotha. It does hurt cause it's someone close to you but those drugs make people say stupid shit. She prob doesn't even remember.

I previously posted on here because of my boyfriend and I had a threesome with his twin, and they were very affectionate towards each other, kissing and all that stuff. (I get it, it was dumb, I'm dumb, it's weird.) Anyways, I sat down with him last night to have a talk and to ultimately end the relationship, and he spilled all of his childhood trauma onto me. His explanation was that him and his twin grew up being s\*x trafficked, and that they only had each other. As a result their intimacy lines got blurry. I asked him if he and his twin did anything sexual while we were together, and he said no. He even went as far as saying he's willing to never do it again, but that his twin kind of keeps insisting on it. &#x200B; Alright, now for my thoughts: I feel very bad, I think it's awful what happened to him. HOWEVER, I still want to end the relationship. For some reason I couldn't do it last night, it was just too much information to take in. I feel like an asshole because he opened up to me about so much, and said he's willing to put in the work to make sure he changes things, yet I still don't want it. I just can't control the fact that I see him differently. &#x200B; Yeah, I don't know. Not much of an update, since I'm still just as confused. But I will end it soon. Also, quick disclaimer, please chill with the judge-mental hate. If I was a troll, I'd want you to react to this, so if you think it's fake just ignore this post. I'm just writing this to update the many that keep asking about it.

I suggest when you are going to end the relationship sit down with him and tell him your thoughts and reason to break up with him, try not leave things unsaid because communication is key.

Around 7th to 9th grade, I was my school's choice for interschool quiz bees and such. I was a nerdy person back then and it made me feel special. In a bad way. I felt like I'm an academically-gifted kid. I didn't judge my closest friends but I definitely looked down on the people who struggled with academics. I can do assignments and projects 1-5 hours before the deadline and still get a good grade. 10th to 12th grade I was starting to realize that I may not be the best in everything. But instead I tried to focus on things that I'm interested in. "It's okay I'm better than them when it comes to graphic design", "It's fine I'm better then her when it comes to programming". During these times I was trying to find something that made me unique, along the lines of "I'm the only one who knows japanese in this class". It's like I was trying to get that feeling from the 7th-9th grade. I wanted to have a skill that nobody in my class could. &#x200B; I'm a college freshman now. Being in college opened my eyes. Literally everyone is better than me. I thought I was good at graphic design, and this guy does it 100x better than me. I thought I was really good at programming, and this guy works a part-time job in a tech company and probably programs 100x better than me. I felt crushed. I felt like I lost an identity or something. I've always heard about "someone's going to be better than you" before but somehow realizing I'm just ***average*** really stung. I realize now that whatever I had in 7th to 9th grade, it was a disgusting mindset. It's a disgusting attitude. I want to change or somehow make this positive, but I do not know at all. All those times feeding my ego didn't teach me about being humble nor about not being special anymore. Please help, I do not know what to do. EDIT: I am 19(M). I had that mindset when I was around 13-14. EDIT2: Oh god I did not expect this much. I want to thank you all. I thought I was alone in this, but apparently not. Thanks a lot, I mean it. :))

This is a problem every artist has to deal with at some point, luckily it’s very easy to turn a negative into a positive. Instead of looking at others and comparing yourself in a negative way or getting jealous or feeling defeated, you need to retrain your brain to focus on trying to learn when you see someone doing something better than you can. If they can do it better, it can be done better, which means YOU can do it better. It is an opportunity for inspiration and advancement, not a signal to go into competitive mode. Edit: On a more fundamental level, you need to drop the idea that being “the best” is even important or a worthy goal. It’s contextual, can change at the drop of a hat, is highly subjective, and ultimately means nothing. The desire to be “better than others” in order to feel superior or special definitely comes from the concept of meritocracy being drilled into ones head from a young age, but as you’ve already noticed it’s a pretty toxic mindset that only serves to hurt you. The only thing you control if yourself. Doing what you want because you want to do it, and simply focusing on improving yourself, is far more productive and healthy.

So, I’m 18 weeks pregnant and living out of state with my fiancé. My mom is over the moon about getting her first grandbaby. My mom and I are best friends and always have been, she’s the best mother anyone could want and I hope I’m half as good to my baby as she is to me. My problem is, both of my parents smoke heavily and smoke inside their house. I don’t want my baby to be around smoke/smoking like I was when I was young. So I told her that if she wants baby to stay at her house, she has until baby’s born to stop smoking inside and get her house aired out. I didn’t think that was too much to ask but she got very upset. She also thinks I’m being “a little extra” by going ahead and establishing my rules that no one can kiss my baby’s face and everyone needs the recommended vaccinations to be around my baby. And that kind of bothers me, especially with the measles outbreak and the growing number of people that don’t vaccinate. I’m not looking for anyone to bash my mom, she’s wonderful in every way, she’s just almost in her 70s and kind of set in her ways. I guess I’m just looking for some support and validation that I’m not being too much. Or if anyone knows of ways I can help her quit smoking or at least change the habit of smoking inside. Also, if anyone has any tips on ways she can get the smell out of her house that would be awesome.

You are not being too much. These are understandable rules from my personal point of view. I don’t know what to do but understand that you are not being unreasonable.

This morning as I was leaving for work, I accidentally ran over 3 baby ducks. I didn’t see them behind my car (for pretty obvious reasons), and only stopped when I saw the momma duck run in front of me. Someone else ran out to my car to tell me that I hit them. I feel like a murderer, even though I know it was just an honest accident. I can’t stop seeing the image of the momma duck standing over the bodies of her babies. I was sobbing in the car on the drive to work, and I’m barely keeping myself together as I’m at my desk. I’m scared to go home, in case their broken bodies are still there on the pavement. Even if they’re not, I have to pass by that spot every day until I move out. I already renewed my lease, but I don’t know if I can stand to go back there. It’s a silly thing to be upset about, I know, and I’m sure I’m overreacting. But I can’t stop seeing myself as a murderer who killed 3 innocent animals. Does anyone know how to get over this guilt? EDIT: Wow I just went on my lunch break and came back to all of this love 💕 I really appreciate everyone taking the time to read the post and share advice. I’m not able to reply to everyone, but thank you all from the bottom of my heart ❤️ I live in an apartment complex with a lake in the middle where ducks live, and they usually don’t venture too far off the grass. There is a woman in my building, however, that dumps out a few cups of birdseed in the parking lot every morning. They’ve been getting braver with that, and I guess now they’re not afraid of cars so that’s why they were walking behind mine. I’m going to spend time by the lake, feeding the ducks (not with bread as I’ve been told 😊), reflecting on my life as it relates to theirs, and donate some money to help out wildlife charities. I’m also going to talk to my complex about putting up signs deterring people from feeding the ducks so my mistake doesn’t get repeated. Thank you all and I love you all 💕💕

I once ran over a squirrel in my way to work and I couldn't stop crying. I felt so terrible about it because I couldn't stop thinking about its family. All I can say is that sometimes it takes time to get over these feelings. I agree that donating money that helps wildlife is a great idea. You'll help other animals that way.

Update 1: thank you everyone for the support you guys have been great. Me and the girl spoke last night till like mid night lol, she is actually a teacher and traveled alot, but because of what happened with her last relationship she went into depression for a long time so her Mon asked her to come work with her so at least she is comes out of the house. Unfortunately for her she was in a 10 years relationship,however, her boyfriend cheated on her and when she discovered the fucker he told her he will kill her if she leaves, so she stayed for another 2 months or so until her brother got her out, after that she was scared of even getting out of the house. That's was the sad part we spoke about, after that we talked about all her traveling experiences, how much she used to like teaching etc, I was also honest as you guys suggested and told her about my shyness etc she and she was OK with that. There was not awkward moments the conversation just carried on, I was also asking questions and laughing alot she is very funny and sarcastic lol. Seriously thank you everyone for all the good advice, emoji time 😄 also english is not my first language so apologies for the typo. Edit 2: So I had my date on Saturday and it went fantastic, I memorise some of the good advice and I was like champ conversationwas flowing, she complemented my clothes and also said I smell very nice, it was easier than I thought with her as we have so much in common so yes, also today we also went to the park we had a picnic she cooked for me and it was great, we also had a cheeky kiss so yes I went all red and shy afterwards but kept remembering the advice and quickly came back on track. I can not believe someone like her wouls likes someone like me but yes I am very happy and I am very exited to see her again. I really want to say thank you to all of you for support me and help me out, you will never understand the help this post was for me so thanks very very much.

Think of it this way, you have already done the hard part. If she said yes, she can't think you that badly. Just go, have fun and be like you always are.

TL;DR: I'm a 28 year old man. I have no job, no friends, no family. I weigh 550 pounds. I am on SSI disability for anxiety and PTSD and my weight. I have been homeless on and off since I was 16 years old. I am on a waiting list for public housing. I'll be in an apartment in a month or two. **How do I build a life?** This is going to be long, sorry about that. And sorry for any spelling errors. It was very emotional for me to put all of this into words. I was raised by two horrible and sick people. My mother is a narcassist and paranoid schizophrenic. I have had no contact with my mother in 10 years. My father is a pedophile, rapist and has borderline personality disorder. I have had no contact with my father in 2 years. When I was young, my parents kept my sister and I completely isolated from people and culture. I have never played with a child my own age. I never learned to play or socialize with anyone. She would read the bible to me and my sister for hours a day. We were technically homeschooled, but never learned anything except the bible. When my parents would leave, they would lock us inside the house, and tell us that if we left, people would kill us or abduct us or corrupt us. We had a small TV in the house, but no TV antenna. It was only for playing certain videos that my parents approved. We could only watch church material and a few old movies. When my parents would leave the house, my mom would take the TV with her and lock it in her van, so we couldn't watch anything without their supervision. My mother also would regularly starve us. My mom was obsessed with health. She always thought she had cancer or something. She would feed me a tiny bowl of plain oatmeal for breakfast and a few leaves of lettuce and a small chunk of tuna(maybe the size of a quarter) for lunch. When both parents were home, they'd almost always fight, and they'd each end up in different rooms, and my mom would be crying and my dad would be sleeping. My mom would say dinner was "fend for yourself". We rarely had family dinners. I don't even remember them. My sister usually make food for me and her. She'd make me ramen noodles or spaghetti or mac and cheese or whatever for dinner. My dad would over feed me when he could. On weekends he would take me to the McDonalds drive through and buy 12 cheeseburgers and let me binge. This was the only "real" food that I'd get for the week. My mom would never allow me to eat fast food. My parents would eat their own food, but feed us crap. We weren't allowed to have the "adult food". (By the way, I thought this was normal until a few years ago). It was pretty common for my sister and I to go to sleep hungry, and then with my acutely developed sense of smell, wake up and unbeknownst to them, sit at the top of the stairs, watching them eat pizza and take out chinese food and other "adult" food. When I was 10 years old, my dad left my mom, and took my sister and I to live with his mother on the other side of the country. To my sister and I, he was rescuing us. We loved him for this. We hated my mom. At 10 years old, I was a horribly weird child. This was in the year 2000. I had never heard any music with lyrics before in my life. My mom would only let me listen to classical music because she was worried that the lyrics in music would corrupt me. I had my dad buy me a CD to listen to music for the first time. It was Linkin Park's Hybrid Theory. I was blown away. I didn't even know people could make those sounds with their voices. This is where my life opened up incredibly. Everything was amazing. My world got HUGE overnight. TV, Music, culture, THE INTERNET! My dad bought my sister and I computers. I spent most of my teen years on my computer. It was amazing to me. After moving across the country, my dad divorced my mom and got full custody of my sister and I. He enrolled us in school, and I went into 5th grade, and my sister in 7th. It was terrifying. I didn't even know how to talk to anyone. I had never met anyone my own age before. I didn't know half the words they were using. Everything almost sounded like a foreign language to me. This lead to me being really awkward and getting bullied a lot. I ended up dropping out of school when I was 13 and my sister did the same when she was 15. My dad told the school that he was going to homeschool us. He never did. We never did any homeschooling. I never graduated high school. Around this time, my dad started feeding me. And feeding me, and feeding me. I never had a mom to starve me. My dad had no idea how to cook. Every day was like this. Breakfast: 4 sausage mcmuffins, Lunch at the all you can eat Chinese Buffet, and dinner was a bucket of Fried Chicken. This lead to me ballooning to over 400 pounds by the time I was 14. Around 2004, my dad leaves his PDA(kinda like a smartphone, minus the phone) in his car while I'm waiting for him. I decide to play a game on it. While I'm looking through it... I find pictures... of my sister. Naked. And pictures of various female family members(my grandma, my aunt), their heads photoshopped on to pictures of naked women, and lots of child porn. I am confused. I have no idea what to make of this. I'm 14 years old. I quickly put the PDA away and pretend I never saw it. Over the years I'd realize the way my dad treated my sister, and it made me sick inside. I was worried he was molesting her. Apparently I learned last year from her, that he tried to teach her how to masturbate when she was 14. And I mean "teach" her.... physically... ---- My dad was kind of a scam artist(I did not know this at the time). He didn't have a job. What he did was go to desperate people who wanted to get out of their mortgages, and "buy" their houses, and then rent them out. Turns out he didn't really buy them, he got them to sign a quit claim deed to him, and they still kept the mortgage in their names, and he would rent the houses for a price over the mortgage. The owners kept the mortgages in their name, but my dad paid the mortgages with rent money from renters. He'd then "rent to own" those houses to people that would put $5000 down to buy these houses from him. He did this for a few years until he had 20+ houses. In late 2006, he decided he didn't want to be in this job anymore. He took all the rent money for October 2006 and didn't pay the mortgages, causing all of the old people he got the houses from to default on their mortgages. Conveniently, my dad decided that we would drive acrossed the country to go on a long water fast together to lose weight. So he drove us out to the Arizona desert in 2006 in a big box moving truck, and we both sat out there reading books for 40 days straight without eating, and only drinking water. (Now that I think back to this, I think this was child abuse, but I thought it was good at the time because I lost 100 pounds). While we were out in the desert, all of his houses were being repossessed, including our own house. When we got back we had no where to live. My sister was 18 at this time, and luckily for her, she had moved in with her boyfriend. I was stuck with my dad. Over the next 4 years we would be mostly homeless. Sometimes squatting in abandonded houses, and during winter times(this was in Michigan), my dad put on a suit and tie and would rent an office in a run down office building for the winter to keep us out of the cold. We'd sleep in offices while he cooked up another business plan that would eventually fail. Oh yeah, and I gained back the 100 pounds that I lost during this time, plus another 100 pounds for good measure. In the summer of 2007, my dad convinced his mother to give control of her business, a well established local pet store, over to him. We'd live in the back of the store. My dad did a lot of "renovating" of the store, but in reality was inflating the costs of the renovation and taking out loanss and skimming cash off the top. By October 2008, this store of 40 years was out of business and all the employees were out of a job, and we were homeless again. So what did my dad do? Did he get a job? Nope. He put on a suit and tie, went to another run down office building, and rented out an office for $350 bucks a month for some new bullshit business for the next year. I went with him, because I had no where else to go. In the middle of winter 2009, his office building was set to be demolished so it could be turned into a parking lot for the new YMCA, so we were once again homeless. My sister begged her boyfriend to let us move in with him. He hated my father. But he eventually let us move in, but only for a few months. My dad ended up concocting a new plan while we were there. He decided that we should both go to college together and becoming nurses.. I was now 20 years old. He's in his 50s. At this point, I only have 2 years of elementary school under my belt. He decides to make up some fake trans scripts and a diploma for me, and has me apply for college out in Arizona, and of course apply for loans and grants. The community college there is incredibly cheap, and we'd end up getting a few thousand dollars in refunds back from loans and grants each semester, so it would pay for us to live and survive. He also faked some records so I could get in state tuition. So we move out to Arizona, and now I'm in community college, totally unprepared, and every semester, further indebting myself for another one of my dad's schemes. We do this for 3 years and I fake my way through college, really going nowhere. My dad encourages me to just take a bunch of classes to figure out what I want to do with my life, as long as I stay in full time so I can keep getting money to pay him for rent. My dad also has not taught me how to drive. Now I realize that he did this to keep me dependant on him. While this is happening, my sister loses her job and has a mental breakdown, tries to kill herself, and is hospitalized for awhile. She ends up getting on disability for her mental illnesses and is still on disability today. She is worried about me, and comes out to visit me in Arizona. She eventually helps me by buying me a car. I take the car, and teach myself to drive, against my dad's wishes (at this point, I'm 23, she's 25). Within a month of having my drivers license, my sister convinces me to move back in with her and leave my dad in Arizona. Now I see my dad cry for the first time ever. He's begging me not to abandon him. I almost decided to stay, but my sister begged me to move back to Michigan with her. So we did. Immediately after we left, my dad stops paying the bills(which are all in my name by the way, I did not know this, and this ends up ruining my credit). And he moves into his car. Within a month of living with my sister in Indiana, I have a job. Another month and I make some friends at work, and a month later I move in with 3 of them and we all share a house. This is by far, the best part of my life. I smoked weed for the first time with my new friends, and it was transcendent. I was having a great time. I'm working full time, 40-50 hours a week (just at walmart, but I actually loved my job). Every few days, I get emails from my dad, telling me how miserable he is living in his car, and how dangerous it is for him to live there. After 8 months of this, life is going great for me. And my dad shows up at my house in Michigan. He gives me a sob story and convinces me to let him live with me, in my bedroom. He mentions that he wants to kill himself all the time. I reluctantly let him move in with me, but tell him he can only stay for a month, and he needs to go to the homeless shelter. Over the next month, he hates that I'm working full time. Its the holidays and I'm really busy at work. He resents that I'm working and I'm self sufficient. He sleeps all day while I'm at work and stays up all night in my bedroom on the internet watching movies and videos while I'm trying to sleep. My performance at work starts suffering... I end up getting injured and losing my job at walmart. I was clumsy because I was sleep deprived. My dad seemed happy that I lost my job... I ended up telling him to leave. I can't handle it anymore. He moves out into the homeless shelter. He's furious at me. I decide to go back to college. I finally found a career that I think I want. I want to be a paramedic. I go down to the local community college and sign up. I take out loans and grants to support myself. A few weeks later I show up for my first class. Guess who's sitting in the front row? Yep. My dad. He wants to be a paramedic now too. This was a miserable semester. It was so fucking embarrasing to be in the class with my dad. I end up passing the EMT portion of the class, the first semester, and I drop out of the paramedic training. I just don't want to be around my dad. Around summer of 2014, my dad asks me for help cleaning out his storage room. I reluctantly oblige and help him. I noticed something in the corner of the storage room. Its a locked aluminum box. I've seen it before many times, and always wondered what was in it. While he's doing something in his van, I check out the box, Its actually unlocked, so I open it. Inside.... is hundreds of pictures, a few hard drives, KY jelly, tissues, and... my sister's underwear. I slam it closed, and walk out of the storage room and take off. I left my dad without any explaination. Later that night I felt a horrible pain in my chest. I think I'm dying. I can't breathe. I can barely move. It feels like someone is sitting on my chest. There is crushing pain in the center of my chest and radiating up my face and down my arms. I'm sweating, I'm numb, and cold. I stumble outside and call 911. I tell them I'm dying. I'm having a heart attack. I'm only 24 years old. After being in the hospital for 2 days, and undergoing cardiac stress tests and ultrasounds and everything, they diagnose me with panic disorder. It was just a panic attack. That's what a panic attack is? I had no idea. This felt real. It couldn't just be in my head, could it? Over the course of the next few months, I have these same events 3-4 times per day. I feel like I am absolutely, 100% dying, multiple times per day. My dad is now an EMT with the local ambulance service. If I call 911 again, he might be the one showing up at my door. It takes a few months, but I eventually break down and tell my sister what happened. I tell her what I found 10 years ago, and what I found 10 years later in his storage room. My psyche was not letting me hide this anymore. My sister felt terrible for me, and told me that she knew something was wrong with my dad. She told me he tried to teach her how to masturbate when she was 14, and tried to get her naked multiple times. She decided to confront him. I couldn't bare to look him in the face. I was a coward. I couldn't look at him. I left her to confront this predator alone. She tells me that he told her that he admitted it. He said that he likes incest. He told me he'd get counselling for it. My sister and I decided to cut off contact with him. This was in 2015, and I haven't talked to him since. He's emailed me a few times and told me he got concelling for it and is better now. He told me the consellor said that being attracted to his daughter was normal, and was understandable because the pain he went through with the divorce (???? bullshit). Anyways, after all of this, it basically destroyed me. I couldn't work. I was having panic attacks every day. My sister convinced me to apply for disability. I did, but it would take 2 years for me to get it. We both had no where to go. We felt unsafe sharing the town with my dad. We decided to move to the woods in the middle of the country. We found a place that sold empty property with no money down, and we got 5 acres out in the middle of the woods. There was an old abandoned meth cooking shack on it. We found a lot of meth pipes in it. We cleaned it out and moved in. My sister and I lived there for 2 years while we waited for me to get disability. I needed it. I was agoraphobic(still kinda am), and I needed to heal and be away from people. Once I got disability, my sister wanted to move back to live with one of her friends in Indiana. I applied for public housing in the local town closest to me in Missouri. I was approved and have an apartment waiting for me. For the first time, at 28 years old, I'll be living by myself. Rent and utilities is 30% of my disability check. After rent, I'll have $500 to spend per month. After other bills(phone/car insurance), I'll have $400 per month. So here is my situation: I'm in the middle of the country, alone, no job, no friends, no family, no high school diploma, 550 pounds, and on disability. I do not want to stay on disability forever, but I'm not sure where to start building a life. I am very alone, and I've never been completely alone before. I'm scared, and could use advice. Thanks, and sorry for the long post and if it was rambling and confusing. edit: I got the apartment! https://i.imgur.com/cw312ni.jpg

I'm at dinner right now and can't give you a full reply. I'm commenting so you know someone is reading it. I'll respond then I can.

Okay so all my friends are sleeping rn and I don’t know what to do. I was on Grindr and I saw the profile of my friends’ fiancé. They have two kids together, live together, all of that. I’m so close to messaging her with the profile being like ‘hey, do you know he’s doing this?’ but I just really wanted to make sure it was the right thing to do, and that it wouldn’t make me a shitty homewrecker. My head is going with ‘if that was my man, I would want to know.’ But I feel conflicted af- they could be in an open relationship and that’s not my business. But his profile doesn’t mention a relationship or anything. Do I tell her? Or not get involved? UPDATE: Sorry I’ve been quite busy, I did message her in the end basically saying ‘Hey I found a profile with your boyfriend’s pics on Grindr. Do you know about this? If not I’m really sorry, someone may be using his photos’ but she has not replied yet UPDATE 2: A lot of people were asking about her response, and she told me she knew about it already thankfully, and she appreciated me reaching out. He’s bicurious and she doesn’t mind him experimenting, but he isn’t out yet so uses apps rather than IRL. Thanks for all advice 🙏🏽

He's a fiance, she's better to find out before he is her husband. There's definitely zero chance they're polyamorous? Or he's looking for a threesome and she knows? I've seen profiles that say looking for a guy to f*CK whilst my wife watches. Just check what his profile description says first? It seems crazy that he has his face pic on Grindr, like he's waiting to get caught.

There‘s a girl I liked for very long and I planned to confess my feelings to her after graduation. We graduated recently and on the day I wanted to go to her house I found out that she committed suicide... I‘m totally devastated, frustrated and heartbroken.

If this is the same girl from 132 and 87 days ago, I am so sorry. You should send a card and flowers to the family expressing your condolences. Just say you were one of her classmates.

So I bet a guy from work (3 weeks after the election!!) $5000 that Biden would be President on inauguration day. He was drinking the kool aid hard reading all sorts of crazy shit 1000% convinced Trump would remain in office. He'd send me Tik Tok videos as proof every day of random ass people explaining how it was going to happen. Seeing how relentless he was I said why don't you put your money where your mouth is. Soon enough a $500 bet quickly escalated into a legit $5000 bet after lots of ridiculous back and forth. So here we are, I won, and you're not gonna believe it but the Trump guy is being a sore loser!! He is 100% going to pay me but he is trying to win the only way he can - by making it a pain in the ass for me to get my money so he can have a laugh. He has ordered 75 small aluminum pill containers ([see here](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07C14SXSM/)) and has about 15 home depot buckets ([see here](https://www.homedepot.com/p/The-Home-Depot-5-Gal-Homer-Bucket-05GLHD2/100087613)) which he intends to fill with concrete. As of now his plan appears to be to put hundred dollar bills (50) scattered throughout the pill containers and buckets of concrete. Rebar or wire mesh may be used. He included me in a giant work group message where he is grandstanding his plans ([see here](https://imgur.com/a/6rOaOKj)) - that's how I know all this. Once again this is the only way a guy who just lost $5000 can "win" - right out of the Trump playbook! At this point his intention is to make me work as much as possible for the money for a laugh. He certainly will put more thought into making this a pain in the ass for me than he did making the bet in the first place. My goal at this point is to give him as little satisfaction as possible or even flip this in my favor and completely take the wind out of his sails. Since he revealed the pill containers he ordered, as a preemptive strike plan, I went ahead myself and ordered 75 of them as well. They'll be here Friday along with a stack of fake hundreds from Amazon. Here's a couple scenarios: 1. He does not put the money in any of the pill containers in an effort to simply hand me the money after I crack through all the concrete just to have a laugh at me. IF he does this - I could open 2-3 buckets to get a gauge for what's in the buckets/containers. If it appears the are empty I present to him my own 75 pill containers that I easily covered with my own concrete mix and he would thus unknowingly foil his own plan. At this point I'd feel him out for info and see if he turns over money then. I'd pretend he got me good (video and all) then I could then drop the full concrete buckets in his truck and send him a video revealing I have outsmarted him. This is best case scenario. 2. He fills 50 of the 75 pill containers which would make sense for 50 $100 bills and 75 total pill bottles. In this case I'd have no choice but to go through them all. This would be his best move guaranteeing I go through them all. In this case my only winning move would be to dump the 75 containers that I ordered (with concrete on them) in his truck at work the next day to make it seem like it only took me one day to get the money. Then later just chip away at the buckets myself. 3. I have to crack open all the buckets but then fill my own buckets with pill containers and concrete and give them back to him. The ol' bait and switch. I can also preemptively do this - so almost on the same day or next day I give them back to him so he thinks they are the same buckets he gave me and develop a story around that. Photoshopping pictures is an option as well. Help me out Reddit! I either need a good counter plan or some good advice on getting these containers out of the concrete! A hammer drill? Could I drop them from the top of a bridge? Or find someone with an old fire department ladder truck and rent it for an hour to drop them from the top? **Current payback plan:** u/[amasterblaster](https://www.reddit.com/user/amasterblaster/) has a brilliant idea. Take the fake buckets to his house. Offer a $2000 settlement if he takes them back. If he says no leave the buckets. If he says yes go directly to ATM get $2000 from him. Let him crack open all the staged buckets - then when he comes looking for his 2 grand back I give it back to him in concrete!! Or I plant the 2 grand in the buckets so he realizes theres money there but comes up $3000 short and realizes his folly. **Current concrete busting plans:** Sledgehammer for potential simplicity, dexpan a non explosive expanding agent for concrete, rotary hammer, or a simple excavator to smash the shit out of the blocks. **Few responses to comments:** I'm not suing him. I'm not turning him into authorities for ruining money - its not getting ruined. He 100% IS paying the money. I've known him a long time this isn't a random person. He's just busting my balls. P.S. I couldn't in good faith take the money knowing some people died because of this conspiracy theory so I am donating a portion of the winnings to the deceased Capitol Police officer Brian Sicknick's family. If anyone has info on best place for this please let me know as I have not yet researched this.

I would recommend slowly chiseling it, if you buy a pick axe or jackhammer you will most likely destroy the money, it may be slow but chiseling it is the best way, buy a hammer, a chisel, and watch videos to learn to properly use them.

I have an old friend from high school who is working on the recently released Cyberpunk 2077. The game was one of the most anticipated titles of 2020, but has had a lot of trouble since its launch, with both players and the media ripping the game and the studio to shreds. My friend was so incredibly excited to work on this project and I know they gave it their all, but there was nothing they could do regarding the game’s current problems. As someone who also works in the same industry, I really feel for them and I know I would be devastated if I were in their position. I’m wondering if I should send this person some words of support? I don’t want to risk sounding like I’m rubbing it or anything like that. We’re not really super close either, we speak maybe once per year around game dev events and such. Would I be overstepping and putting my nose where it doesn’t belong?

Yeah, it's been pretty rough for every dev on CDPR. But just ask them like how it's going instead of saying "hey I know you're in the shit becouse of the game" imo There are a lot of people enjoying the game tho, myself included it's more of a "loud minority" on pc at least. CDPR is the one to blame, not the devs. If you want you should send them something, and let them know there are good things too, sometimes there's so much negativity that you can't see other things. Good luck ^^