allow_live_comments
stringclasses 2
values | archived
stringclasses 2
values | author
stringlengths 3
20
| author_fullname
stringlengths 4
12
⌀ | banned_by
stringclasses 1
value | category
stringclasses 2
values | content_categories
stringclasses 1
value | contest_mode
stringclasses 2
values | created_utc
stringlengths 10
10
| discussion_type
stringclasses 1
value | distinguished
stringclasses 2
values | domain
stringlengths 0
40
| edited
stringlengths 4
12
| gilded
stringclasses 27
values | hidden
stringclasses 1
value | hide_score
stringclasses 2
values | id
stringlengths 5
7
| is_created_from_ads_ui
stringclasses 1
value | is_crosspostable
stringclasses 2
values | is_meta
stringclasses 1
value | is_original_content
stringclasses 2
values | is_reddit_media_domain
stringclasses 1
value | is_robot_indexable
stringclasses 2
values | is_self
stringclasses 2
values | is_video
stringclasses 1
value | locked
stringclasses 2
values | media
stringlengths 4
1.2k
| media_embed
stringlengths 2
597
| media_only
stringclasses 1
value | name
stringlengths 8
10
⌀ | no_follow
stringclasses 2
values | num_comments
stringlengths 1
5
| num_crossposts
stringclasses 24
values | over_18
stringclasses 2
values | parent_whitelist_status
stringclasses 5
values | permalink
stringlengths 26
76
| pinned
stringclasses 1
value | post_hint
stringclasses 4
values | pwls
stringclasses 4
values | quarantine
stringclasses 1
value | removed_by
stringclasses 1
value | removed_by_category
stringclasses 9
values | retrieved_on
stringlengths 10
10
⌀ | score
stringlengths 1
6
| secure_media
stringlengths 4
1.29k
⌀ | secure_media_embed
stringlengths 2
603
⌀ | selftext
stringlengths 0
34.5k
| send_replies
stringclasses 2
values | spoiler
stringclasses 2
values | stickied
stringclasses 2
values | subreddit_id
stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_name_prefixed
stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_subscribers
stringlengths 8
8
⌀ | subreddit_type
stringclasses 1
value | suggested_sort
stringclasses 3
values | title
stringlengths 0
306
| top_awarded_type
stringclasses 1
value | total_awards_received
stringlengths 1
4
⌀ | treatment_tags
stringclasses 5
values | upvote_ratio
stringlengths 3
4
⌀ | url
stringlengths 0
125
| url_overridden_by_dest
stringlengths 0
92
⌀ | view_count
stringclasses 1
value | whitelist_status
stringclasses 6
values | wls
stringclasses 5
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338909187 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | um5ud | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_um5ud | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/um5ud/tifu_and_got_caught_skipping_school_for_a_pretty/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Today was the final day of Diamond Jubilee Celebrations and the day of the Royal Carraige Procession. I had stayed home for the Royal Wedding last year, so I decided to stay home for this one as well. My parents had said no and told me to just record the whole thing and watch it when I get home, but it feels like it just wouldn't really be as good as watching it all live as it happens.
So, instead of actually driving to school this morning, I just parked on another street until my parents were both gone and I went back home.
Well, my English teacher sent an email to my mother, informing her I wasn't in class today. My mom flipped shit and is saying she's taking away my license for the last three days of school this week. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU and got caught skipping school for a pretty nerdy reason | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/um5ud/tifu_and_got_caught_skipping_school_for_a_pretty/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | br0kenr3crd | null | None | null | null | null | 1338907864 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338908147 | null | False | null | um4q8 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_um4q8 | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/um4q8/tifu_went_abalone_diving_lost_my_dive_bag_and/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | EDIT: Dove down through some heavy sea grass and kelp. Ran out of air and was struggling to get to the surface, got tangled up in the kelp and finally ripped free only to find out when I got to the surface that my catch for the day was now sitting somewhere in the dense growth of ocean.
Some other diver that day may have been very happy with that find. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Went abalone diving, lost my dive bag and gauge...and the abalone I had in my bag. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/um4q8/tifu_went_abalone_diving_lost_my_dive_bag_and/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338902633 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | um0ww | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_um0ww | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/um0ww/fml/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | FML | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/um0ww/fml/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | VelvetOnion | null | None | null | null | null | 1338877332 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ulpcy | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ulpcy | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ulpcy/tifu_i_left_a_case_of_beer_on_the_bus/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 20 | null | null | I bought a case of 4 Pines Kolsch on my way home from work, put it on the seat next to me.
Then I ran off the bus leaving it behind. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU - I left a case of beer on the bus. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ulpcy/tifu_i_left_a_case_of_beer_on_the_bus/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338871046 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ulkuf | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ulkuf | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ulkuf/tifu_a_drunken_night_that_costs_225_extra_a_piece/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: A drunken night that costs $225 extra & a piece of my soul | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ulkuf/tifu_a_drunken_night_that_costs_225_extra_a_piece/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | canipaybycheck | null | None | null | null | null | 1338862007 | null | moderator | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ulchs | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ulchs | null | 17 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ulchs/15000/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 120 | null | null | Hey everyone,
Congratulations on reaching 15,000 subscribers! Despite being 13 weeks old, we are still in the [top thirty hottest subreddits](http://redditlist.com/hot-new). We hope that you'll continue to promote us around reddit whenever you see any fuck-ups that belong on /r/tifu.
This is also an announcement of a new "rule". The mods thought that [this thread](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uhwuo/tifupdate_had_successful_date_with_dream_girl/) was a great potential feature for the community to enjoy. So, from now on, we are encouraging update posts that begin with "TIFUpdate."
I'll end this with a question for all of you. Do you have any other ideas for the future of this sub? In other words, what would you do to improve the community?
Please post your thoughts in the comments here, and we'll be sure to review them. Thanks! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | 15,000! | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ulchs/15000/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339017965 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uomtc | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uomtc | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uomtc/tifu_by_taking_my_moms_cigarettes_and_being_too/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Alright here's the story. I should say I'm 17 I'm currently living with my parents and last night I was feeling pretty bored. So I took a Xanax. After this I was feeling pretty lame. So I looked in my moms purse and found a couple E-cigarettes. Two were out and one was in a package. So I smoked the first two still not feeling anything from the Xanax. Finally I sat down in my living room, opened the third packaged one and smoked it, and then took two more Xanax. After that was all pretty much a blur. All I remember was watching Dr. Who and I remember I had the package for the cigarette right next to the remote, and my cell phone so I wouldn't lose any of them in my stoned stage. Let me explain the cigarette case. It was a tube with two small pieces one for the top of the tube and one covering the filter of the cigarette. I put one of them (probably both) to chew on(i was pretty high) the reason why I kept the package is because I was set on putting it back in its package and back in her purse so The evidence was gone. Anyway the rest was pretty much a blur, so I'm not sure if i took the pieces out of my mouth or if I swallowed them I only remember some things after sitting on the floor watching dr. Who. Rolling around the floor and somehow ending up on the couch with a blanket over me. My stepdad wakes up at 5 am so if he found the cigarette tube on the floor, I'm not sure. I also left the zipper pocket of my moms purse undone.
Anyway as I was saying I woke up at about 2pm this afternoon pretty dazed. I looked down and there was an air mattress that my little sis had moved there. I checked under it for any signs of the cigarette package. Couldn't find it. I got up, searched around my bed and found the e cig on between couch cushions. So now I have the e cig but not the package. I've searched and searched but I figured someone must have picked it up. Anyway so I got up, checked around for my moms purse, it was gone from where it had been. I went downstairs and talked to my mom (not about the cigarette ) but just like "hey" "is there anything to eat" that kinda stuff. I'm feeling pretty guilty about taking her cigarette (it's disposable by the way) anyways, I'm undecided on returning my moms cigarette or just keeping it. I think she would know that one of the cigarettes was packaged and now ones not. So I'm not sure what to do. But I definitely fucked up. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by taking my moms cigarettes and being too high to cover up the evidence. Also swallowing some plastic. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uomtc/tifu_by_taking_my_moms_cigarettes_and_being_too/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | frankfurter89 | null | None | null | null | null | 1339012222 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uogoe | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uogoe | null | 8 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uogoe/tifu_i_partied_with_pat_kane_and_pissed_my_bed/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 5 | null | null | More like a few weeks ago I fucked up, but I was at a bar and met Patrick Kane (hockey player). We got super drunk and then I went home. In an attempt to not have a hangover for work the next morning, I drank like 10 glasses of water. I woke up in a giant pool of piss and my mattress still smells. Son of a bitch. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I partied with Pat Kane and pissed my bed | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uogoe/tifu_i_partied_with_pat_kane_and_pissed_my_bed/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338991036 | null | None | self.tifu | 1339056438 | null | False | null | unxku | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_unxku | null | 91 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/unxku/tifu_by_drawing_a_penis/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 313 | null | null | I was sitting next to my friend in English class and I see he has his daily planner on his desk. I pick it up, flip to a random page, and draw (in pencil) a rudimentary penis. I show him and he laughs. He then takes the planner and (with pen) adds details such as hair and shading. It turns out to be quite impressive. We laugh, close the book, and promptly forget about until the end of class. We both get up to leave and I notice he left his planner on his desk. I note that he is leaving his planner and he says "I thought that was your planner..." We together realize in abject horror that we have drawn the master penis in our uber conservative ne-plus-ultra 60 YO English teacher's planner.
ABORT.
ABORT.
TLDR: A friend and I drew the master penis in a planner that turned out to be the English teacher's.
EDIT: Just to clarify, the teacher was female. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by drawing a penis | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/unxku/tifu_by_drawing_a_penis/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Kestralotp | null | None | null | null | null | 1338956666 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | unezr | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_unezr | null | 8 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/unezr/tifu_i_dropped_a_jar_of_mayonaise_and_now_the/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 16 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I Dropped a Jar of Mayonaise and now the whole house smells like Mayonaise. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/unezr/tifu_i_dropped_a_jar_of_mayonaise_and_now_the/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | mcmk3 | null | None | null | null | null | 1338951670 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338951971 | null | False | null | unabb | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_unabb | null | 22 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/unabb/tify_by_coating_myself_in_sticky_semen/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 19 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFY by coating myself in sticky semen | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/unabb/tify_by_coating_myself_in_sticky_semen/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339109155 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uqkn1 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uqkn1 | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uqkn1/tifui_let_my_friend_catch_me_with_my_secret/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I had decided to keep my 'friend with benefits' a secret from my other friends, because most of them would not approve of the sultry relationship. The one that I would least like to have found out did, mostly because I am a stupid fuck-up. She was chasing us, and we thought we had lost her, so we started to make out, and she just comes up behind me and starts tickling me. She is the most likely to use it against me and think of it all badly, and is really condescending about anything like this. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU-I let my friend catch me with my secret make-out buddy. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uqkn1/tifui_let_my_friend_catch_me_with_my_secret/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339107218 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uqivi | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uqivi | null | 10 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uqivi/tifu_by_saying_black_person_instead_of_blackboard/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 20 | null | null | I was talking about how someone writes on a blackboard and how they hate the blackboard. It became a very interesting context.
feelsbadman.jpg
EDIT: This was in my Chinese class | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by saying "black person" instead of "blackboard" while giving a speech in Chinese | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uqivi/tifu_by_saying_black_person_instead_of_blackboard/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339106103 | null | None | self.tifu | 1339121478 | null | False | null | uqhus | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uqhus | null | 14 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uqhus/tifu_i_did_this_to_my_mothers_sidewalk/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 8 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I did this to my mother's sidewalk. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uqhus/tifu_i_did_this_to_my_mothers_sidewalk/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | aprofondir | null | None | null | null | null | 1339097910 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uq9rd | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uq9rd | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uq9rd/tifu_by_picking_up_a_slug_and_stomping_on_a_snail/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | So yeah, my friend and I were walking through the town (the same friend who I started a fire-fuckfest™ with) and we just sat on some stairs, playing guitar and singing. To the left of us I notice something that looked like a little twig (it was dark) so I decided to pick it up...and I picked it up by the end and boy was I disgusted when I came to realisation it was a small slug (or a naked snail, how our folks call them, they are like snails without their houses)..I was so disgusted I felt a need to wash my fingers because I touched a fucking slug, so I ran to my house (it wasn't far away) and washed my hands. Later my friend and I sat on a bench, and then we stood up and walked and I heard a cracking sound. My friend just said ''eeeew'' and when I looked down I saw a stomped snail with his house broken. I was both sorry and disgust.
Later I cleaned my shoe, and from that day on I fucking hate animals. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by picking up a slug and stomping on a snail | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uq9rd/tifu_by_picking_up_a_slug_and_stomping_on_a_snail/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339095963 | null | None | self.tifu | 1339212904 | null | False | null | uq7z0 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uq7z0 | null | 19 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uq7z0/tifu_me_vs_wall_and_i_won/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 3 | null | null | So me and my dad haven't always gotten along, its a love hate kind of thing. Hes a technology guy so i asked him why my cell phone battery wasn't holding a charge anymore and he asked to look through it. Then he asks if he can delete a little weather updater i have and i told him no i use it. He goes on a mini rampage, calls me stupid and walks off. He has always called me names and damnit, i have had enough of it. I head to bed and forget about it until today.
He brings up the whole thing again when he texts me while i come home from school and without thinking, I punch the wall in anger over the name calling and quickly notice that not only did i punch the wall, my hand went THROUGH the wall. So i'm really screwed because I can't even hide this lovely hole :(
P.s who said i was a guy? | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Me vs. Wall and i won | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uq7z0/tifu_me_vs_wall_and_i_won/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339095770 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uq7ry | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uq7ry | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uq7ry/tufu_i_found_a_case_of_beer_on_the_bus_and_got/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TUFU I found a case of beer on the bus and got blackout drunk. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uq7ry/tufu_i_found_a_case_of_beer_on_the_bus_and_got/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | escroto-peludo | null | None | null | null | null | 1339094731 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uq6q6 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uq6q6 | null | 43 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uq6q6/tifu_by_grabbing_a_fistful_of_manpubes/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 196 | null | null | I was post-shower when I noticed that the water level was quite high. I haven't had a problem with my shower drain clogging before, so naturally my first thought was that something had to be blocking it. I look down at what appears to be a loofah sitting on top of the drain, half-submerged in soapy wash water. Without thinking twice I grab it, as me and both my roommates use body scrubs of some sort (I figured I must have accidently knocked it off the wall mid-shampoo). That's when it happened... the "loofah" began breaking apart in my hands and trickling down my forearms. I panicked and immediately shook my hand away from me, the pube snowball hit the wall and splatterd onto the adjacent wall and on my face and chest. I had to shower again and cursed out my roommate in front of his female company. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by grabbing a fistful of man-pubes | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uq6q6/tifu_by_grabbing_a_fistful_of_manpubes/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339088680 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uq0s9 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uq0s9 | null | 28 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uq0s9/tifu_my_college_career_may_be_in_jeopardy_due_to/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 35 | null | null | I'm shaking with nerves/stress/distraught right now. I can't handle this.
I'm the co-chair of the student theatre organization on my campus, and, as part of my duties, I must keep in contact with the theatre discipline to avoid conflicts. The prof in charge of relations with my org was out of country, but said he would be back near the beginning of June and we would talk about scheduling stuff.
Fast forward to this morning. I get a random call from a number I don't recognize. I think to myself, "Oh, it must be Mediacom, I'll just ignore it." Shortly thereafter, I get an e-mail from this prof saying he's back in town and to call him at my own convenience.
"Shit!" I say "I completely ignored his call thinking it was the cable company!" To make fun of myself, I post a Facebook status, reading "That awkward moment when you think it's Mediacom asking for the bill when it's really [PROF'S NAME]."
A few hours later, I decide to call him. Oops! The number that called me was someone else entirely! My bad! I delete the inaccurate post and search for my prof's number in the directory. I call him, we discuss things, everything seems fine, we say good-bye, and hang up.
About an hour ago, I get an e-mail from this prof, with my comment on Facebook attached. The e-mail reads that someone forwarded that message to him, and he is incredibly offended by it. Here's an excerpt:
>I think you need to keep in mind that FACEBOOK is NOT private communication between "friends"; it can sometimes become very public and the remarks you make may come back to bite you in the behind--and potentially with far greater consequences than my feeling hurt or annoyed by your insensitive (and I stress again simply untrue) remarks that you seem to have fabricated for reasons I am not totally clear about except that it gives you the opportunity to trade quips with Andrew at my expense.
>
>I am trying very hard to have a professional relationship with you, and at this point I am not sure I can trust you to be capable of reciprocating. I think we need to talk about this at some point and I think you owe me an apology. I am also hoping that if you have any future problems or concerns with me that you talk to me personally about them and I won't have to discover them on FACEBOOK.
I'm in a complete panic right now. Since theatre is entirely subjective and relies on the good graces of the instructors, I'm terrified that this e-mail will mean the death of my college career. I sent him an e-mail stating that I'm very, very sorry and it was all a misunderstanding, but I don't know if that will be enough. What should I do!?
tl;dr I pissed off a professor with an "insulting" Facebook post that wasn't even supposed to be insulting and now my ass is grass. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: My college career may be in jeopardy due to a misunderstood Facebook post. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uq0s9/tifu_my_college_career_may_be_in_jeopardy_due_to/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | MyNewPants | null | None | null | null | null | 1339084471 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | upx5z | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_upx5z | null | 44 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/upx5z/tifu_and_realized_i_lost_all_the_sources_for_my/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 78 | null | null | Really, I have no idea where they went. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU and realized I lost all the sources for my 10 page research paper due today. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/upx5z/tifu_and_realized_i_lost_all_the_sources_for_my/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339076460 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | upqpl | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_upqpl | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/upqpl/tifu_sent_a_video_gore_video_too_some_chick/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I had just watched this crazy video of a bear mauling some guy and I wanted to sent it too my friend on Facebook, so after writing something on the lines of "you should watch this" and adding the link at the end I sent it to him. Right after I closed the chat I realized I had sent it too the wrong person and freaked out, so I quickly told her not watch it and that I had sent it too the wrong person. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: sent a video gore video too some chick. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/upqpl/tifu_sent_a_video_gore_video_too_some_chick/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | ipitythefail | null | None | null | null | null | 1339075938 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | upqc2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_upqc2 | null | 10 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/upqc2/tifuleft_my_shoes_at_the_park/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 18 | null | null | I was hanging out at the park with a bunch of friends, and then we left to go to Waffle House. I forgot that I had left my shoes in the middle of the fucking playground. I went to get them about 30 minutes later and they were gone. Fuck. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU-Left my shoes at the park. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/upqc2/tifuleft_my_shoes_at_the_park/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | courtneyfightsfoo | null | None | null | null | null | 1339075332 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uppxk | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uppxk | null | 7 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uppxk/tifu_looked_at_exboyfriends_reddit_account/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | He commented on someone's post and said I was dead to him and lied about buying me a cat. I don't know why I looked at it. I knew it would make me upset but I did it anyway. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Looked at ex-boyfriend's reddit account. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uppxk/tifu_looked_at_exboyfriends_reddit_account/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339072943 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | upoiy | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_upoiy | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/upoiy/i_fucked_up_and_heres_my_simple_plea_of_resolution/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | I fucked up, and here's my simple plea of resolution. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/upoiy/i_fucked_up_and_heres_my_simple_plea_of_resolution/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | Infernuzz666 | null | None | null | null | null | 1339069543 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | upmtx | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_upmtx | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/upmtx/tifu_got_fired_from_internship/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 13 | null | null | Well, actually this story is from a two years ago, and I thought I'd share it now that I had found out this subreddit.
I was still in high school, where we were obligated to do an internship of 25 hours at a non-profit organisation which were helping people in a way. Me and a friend decided to find one together to make it a little easier for us, and had some trouble already finding one. Finally we found a second-hand shop where the profit would be used to save countries with a bad economy.
So while we were happy to finally have an internship, we had to clean up really dirty shit from for example furniture and there wasn't even a single "thank you" from our 'leader' at the end of the day. It was just as if we were expected to be her personal slaves as she had the ability to judge us on our final review.
After a while my friend got a bit unfocused on the stuff we had to do and he started fucking around with little elastics. He got told to cut it out a few times but kept on going. After a while this bitch comes up to us and tells **we** have to stop doing this, she got angry at particularly me.
While I and another voluntary guy working there were trying to explain I had nothing to do with it, I was being treated like trash. She got angry at me and threatened to fire me from the internship *(she had threathened before)*, which would get me in trouble at school. I couldn't hold my anger inside any longer, called her a fucking bitch and told her to not be so fucking stupid. Then I was fired, my friend could stay though, because he apparently did nothing (according to her).
The worst part of it was that I had done **23** of the 25 hours, and then had to explain my supervisor at school what happened, while the bitch had already called school and made me look like an asshole. I had to look for a new internship and had to do another 10 hours.
Luckily my new internship was at my father's place and other workers in that area and I had to do all kinds of random stuff which were way more fun, I even got thanked to do this for them and sometimes got double hours from them for my hard working. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Got fired from internship | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/upmtx/tifu_got_fired_from_internship/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | hullokoala | null | None | null | null | null | 1339066704 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uplmm | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uplmm | null | 23 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uplmm/tifu_and_was_sprayed_by_a_skunk_at_close_range/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 64 | null | null | I was in front of my house smoking and fiddling with my phone. With smoke time over, I begin my trip to the porch and up the steps, the whole time on auto pilot with my phone in my face. About two feet from the door, I notice a black fuzzy creature that resembled one of our outdoor cats until it turned around to reveal the mini heart attack inducing tell-tale white stripe of the skunk. The little guy appeared to wish to pass me in the opposite direction so, being the courteous gal that I am, I step to the side. He then proceeded to turn around and spray me (body and face), my phone, the new prescription glasses (the glasses spared my eyes!) and half the porch with pungent skunk juice. Breakfast tasted like skunk this morning. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU and was sprayed by a skunk at close range. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uplmm/tifu_and_was_sprayed_by_a_skunk_at_close_range/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | throawayeaye | null | None | null | null | null | 1339051956 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | upfge | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_upfge | null | 24 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/upfge/tifu_i_changed_the_amount_on_a_customers_check/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 20 | null | null | Throwaway for obvious reasons, but today at work there was a lady who had came in to buy a few items. We were chatting away about life, when she wrote the check for $56. Well, she saw the total before I added tax, and I didn't notice the amount was off until she left ( should be around $59).
So, to cover my tracks I crossed out the total she wrote and changed it to the correct total. I even went as far as to add fake initials.
I know I fucked up, and I am so paranoid I'm going to get caught. The closing manager didn't call me when the store closed, so that means the tills are fine. Even if the bank accepts the check, what happens if the customer finds out? I'm freaked out right now.
I work tomorrow night and I will update if anything happens.
Any advice? I'm seriously sick to my stomach. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I changed the amount on a customers check after they left. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/upfge/tifu_i_changed_the_amount_on_a_customers_check/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339049796 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | upe64 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_upe64 | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/upe64/tifu_by_telling_my_best_friends_crush_not_to_fall/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | This happened two years ago but thought I would share. So my ex-best friend, who lets just say gets angry for almost everything, had a crush on this girl who actually had a huge crush on him first. Anyways all was going good and she told him that she would go out with him as soon as she turns 16 (she is really cool with her parents so that means she has to follow every rule they give her which was she wasn't allowed to date anybody til she turned 16 because of a previous relationship also he was 17 at the time when she was 15. Lets call my best friend Mario and the girl Rafaela). Anyways one day one of my other close friends asks me if this one girl is a slut and I told him hell yea and that he will catch something if he messes with her and apparently she did a few nasty things with the ex boyfriend of Rafaela. Apparently when Rafaela was going out with her ex, he sent her a pic of his hard cock and it was a finger size one. Rafaela told Mario and told him its a secret, Mario told me and said it was a secret, and my dumbass accidentally told my close friend it was secret and I guess it went back to her. She got mad at him, he never told anybody besides me and then told me. He got extremely pissed and called me cussing me out and then saying we are no longer friends. Before this, he has been acting terribly toward me, his coach (he was very athletic), his dad, and other friends even Rafaela. I guess Mario was so pissed that he even cussed out Rafaela before calling me. This pissed me off. After he called me to tell me that we weren't friends anymore, Rafaela called me and literally asked me if he was taking steroids. Since we weren't friends anymore I told her that he told me he was thinking about it and since I was pissed I told her that all her wanted was sex. Yes I know I fucked up I still regret it today. He apologized a week later, now Rafaela thinks that, and I had that in my back. I confessed almost a month later because I felt it was the best thing to do. We were no longer friends shortly after that, and he officially told me we were not friends when summer began. He apologized almost 9 months later but nothing has been the same since.
TL;DR: Best friend told me secret, I told somebody and went back to him. He told me we weren't friends and I got mad, told his future gf all he was interested was sex. Confessed to him later on and we were no longer friends. Now we're cool but it is not the same. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by telling my best friend's crush not to fall for him | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/upe64/tifu_by_telling_my_best_friends_crush_not_to_fall/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | strongbadiophage | null | None | null | null | null | 1339047459 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | upcrl | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_upcrl | null | 36 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/upcrl/tifu_by_getting_caught_watching_porn/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 13 | null | null | I was in my little inconspicuous corner of the house where we always put the laptop. No one can see what you are doing but the positioning isn't sinister by any means. Anyways, as my older brother is loading some game or something on the tv, it starts skipping. I say,"Hey man, it's exploding." I guess he thought I was asking for help with the computer and not for him to fix the tv, because he starts coming towards me at the computer. I was currently on Reddit with porn on my other tab. I struggle to quickly close the separate tab and in my rushed clumsiness, I fucking click on the tab instead of the little x! So when he gets there, he sees a bunch of pussy and ass and a hot, smiling porn actress. I hurriedly close it this time, and he leaves. He was facing the screen the whole time. He leaves to go fix the tv, the merciful bastard, pretending he hadn't seen anything. He hasn't said anything about. I feel terrible. But I know he watches porn too so he can't be *too* mad at me. Fuck. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by getting caught watching porn. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/upcrl/tifu_by_getting_caught_watching_porn/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339037857 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | up5a7 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_up5a7 | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/up5a7/tifu_and_used_the_wrong_restroom/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | This actually happened about a month ago. I'm waiting outside my next class and I have to pee. Now, at this school every restroom is the same--men's on left, women's on right, back to back. I've used this particular restroom several times before. But for some reason on this day my brain decided that the left one was women's. So I go in, despite the fact that the stalls and sinks are on opposite sides of the room. The urinals don't even register. I'm in the stall and someone comes in, pees, and leaves. This would have been great, no harm done and no realization of my mistake if another guy hadn't come in right as I'm coming out of the stall. I take a good look, trying to figure out if he's just a manly looking girl or if I just walked into the men's restroom. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU and used the wrong restroom. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/up5a7/tifu_and_used_the_wrong_restroom/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Michi_THE_Awesome | null | None | null | null | null | 1339036835 | null | None | self.tifu | 1339042805 | null | False | null | up4d3 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_up4d3 | null | 12 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/up4d3/tifu_i_didnt_go_to_work_bc_of_bad_phone_habits/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 40 | null | null | I rarely ever charge my phone and I usually leave it around the house. This results in missed calls and me not checking messages for a week at a time. Those are my bad phone habits.
Work: I've got two part time jobs (in order to still have the flexibility to go to school). The one IFU is the daytime one where I sub at an elementary school.
Well I had been asked for yesterday and tomorrow. B/c my phone was dead and somewhere under a couch cushion I never heard it ring. Apparently (when I thought about checking the messages) the VP called to see if I was coming into work. She had me down as going into work today as well as yesterday and tomorrow. I did not know that. Well I heard two very angry messages. IDK what to do. Should I call and try to explain the situation ,or should I just show up tomorrow and pretend I don't know what's going on? Some advice would most appreciated.
Just an FYI the school has messed up my schedule before. They'll say a half day starting at 8am, when they really meant was starting at 11:30am. Or I'll show up on Monday(when they told me Monday), and they really meant Thursday. They'll say Kindergarten class and I end up in a third grade class.
This job pays well and the school year ends next week. I want to stay on the sub list for next year. What do I do?!?! If I'm advised to call the school day ends in 3 hours. Please help me!!!
EDIT: I called and all is well.
I called and to apologize and how I fear there had been a miscommunication. I kissed butt and did my best to clarify the situation. She was very understanding. I am so relieved. I was so sure I was going to be screamed at and possibly dismissed. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I didn't go to work b/c of bad phone habits. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/up4d3/tifu_i_didnt_go_to_work_bc_of_bad_phone_habits/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339034208 | null | None | self.tifu | 1339090424 | null | False | null | up1vy | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_up1vy | null | 39 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/up1vy/tifu/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 92 | null | null | Well since there isn't a subreddit for 5 years ago I fucked up... Starting with the back story, I was working at Books A Million. And anyone that has ever worked there knows that if your shift says you're off at midnight, you're probably going to be there at 3 am still cleaning up books. Well this was one such night but on top of that we also had inventory so it was going to be an even longer night. I've always been a great guy with the customers and never gotten any complaints, but I'd had enough with the ladies this night. Despite what guys think about ladies bathrooms, they're not clean. It's like a Halloween prank every time I had to go in there, toilet paper everywhere. Well this night I decided that I was going write on the bathroom stall "Toilet paper belongs in the toilet" I was tired enough to find this incredibly amusing.
Fast-forward a week, the manager approaches me with a picture of the writing and a sample of my writing from my paperwork. I made the mistake of apologizing and admitting to doing it, I was told to clean it up which was easy enough. The next day I was fired, the only bridge I've ever burned. -_-
TL;DR Long night, wrote on bathroom stall, was fired.
Edit: I forgot to mention, after I was fired I found out that as the Magazine Specialist that had to put out thousands of magazines every week I was supposed to be paid 25 cents more every hour. Never saw that money. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/up1vy/tifu/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | emikokitsune | null | None | null | null | null | 1339032112 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uozzx | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uozzx | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uozzx/tifu_walking_into_a_bathroom_without_knocking/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I woke up half asleep this morning and went straight to the bathroom because I really had to pee. I figure it's super early (6:50am) and no one is in there. I was staring at my feet the entire time as well (for some reason I look down when sleepy). My brother-in-law was standing there. All I saw were his feet and his boxers around his feet. Luckily I saw nothing more. Still awkward.
**TLDR: Sleepy me opened bathroom without knocking and saw brother-in-law's feet and underwear around his ankles. Luckily saw nothing more.** | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Walking into a bathroom without knocking first, my brother-in-law was in there... | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uozzx/tifu_walking_into_a_bathroom_without_knocking/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | ohmahjah | null | None | null | null | null | 1339031616 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uozjk | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uozjk | null | 8 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uozjk/tifu_peed_my_pants/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 11 | null | null | The title lies. It should be "TYAIFU" (Two Years Ago I Fucked Up).
This very well might be the worst moment in my life, and I hope it doesn't get any worse.
Let's flash back to 2010.
It was a sunny June. I had been out of fifth grade for about a month. I was a safety patrol at my school in Jacksonville, FL. Every Summer, our school (and every school in Duval county) takes the safety patrols on a trip to Washington, DC. I was on that trip, and one of the places our group went was to the Air and Space Museum. There's a big McDonalds attached to it, and we ate lunch there. And you know those unisex restrooms where it's for men **AND** women? Well, It had one of those, and no separate gender restrooms were to be found. And whats worse, I had to piss really bad. I was 11, and I didn't want to be in the same peeing area as girls. And I was afraid everyone would make fun of me for going into the girl's bathroom. So I didn't. I held in the pee for the whole time we ate. It felt like a really long time, but we were only there for half an hour. I was eating my Happy Meal when I felt something warm go down my leg. And I'll be damned if I weren't sitting next to my crush (I have no idea if I said that right).
"EEEEWWWW!! JAKE PEED HIS PANTS!!"
Everyone was laughing and I was extremely embarrassed. I eventually got the nickname "Pee-Pee Jake".
We still laugh about it today.
**TL;DR: Peed myself because I was too embarrassed to go to the unisex restroom.** | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Peed my Pants | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uozjk/tifu_peed_my_pants/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | yout1014 | null | None | null | null | null | 1339199180 | null | None | self.tifu | 1339199551 | null | False | null | usejn | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_usejn | null | 4 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/usejn/tifu_by_trying_to_go_golfing_during_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 7 | null | null | Me and my brother were going to do some brother bonding before he goes to college. We tee'd off and al seemed normal, until my brother got hit in the head with a 1 inch chuck off ice hit his head, in the middle of summer. Me and him doubled into the tree cover, then the lightning started to strike. We were flat out on the ground trying to be as flat as we could. we saw a bolt hit the middle of the fairway. We could feel the heat. We didn't have the phones with us, so we couldn't take a picture. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by trying to go golfing during a ThunderStorm and hail strike. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/usejn/tifu_by_trying_to_go_golfing_during_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | sanser89 | null | None | null | null | null | 1339192872 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | us9e4 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_us9e4 | null | 277 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/us9e4/tifu_by_shitting_on_my_boyfriends_during_vaginal/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1118 | null | null | I don't have a fucking clue how this happened. We've been together for a year and fucked many times.
He's doing me doggy, I feel myself about to climax and clench my body to try to hold it back then suddenly he stops.
"Amy, you pooped" he says.
I don't believe him so I don't turn around but then I smelled it and I knew in that moment that I had indeed pooped mid-sex.
I jumped away from him quicker than sonic the fuckin hedgehog and lo' and behold there's a layer of shit in his pubes and he's just looking at me as if to say "what the actual fuck?!"
I'm so ashamed I run to the toilet to furiously wipe my ass and then jump in the shower in a futile attempt to wash away the shame.
I must have clenched my body hard enough that I squeezed a loose turd out. Thankfully my boyfriend saw the funny side of it and cuddled me in the shower after, all while making poop jokes, but I'll never live this down or forget that this happened.
I'm so fucking ashamed. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by shitting on my boyfriend's during vaginal intercourse. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/us9e4/tifu_by_shitting_on_my_boyfriends_during_vaginal/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Xonix1234 | null | None | null | null | null | 1339192089 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | us8re | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_us8re | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/us8re/dog_vomit_on_my_wall/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | So today I was lying on my bed with my jack russel dog beside me, when all of a sudden he started heaving. He was getting ready to vomit so I picked him up and ran to my bathroom with him so he wouldnt puke on my bed or carpet floor. I had almost made it to my bathroom when all of a sudden he threw up. But instead of hitting the bathroom floor that didnt have carpet which would have been easier to clean up, he threw up all over the wall. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Dog vomit on my wall | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/us8re/dog_vomit_on_my_wall/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339191421 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | us86t | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_us86t | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/us86t/teacher_oral/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Was a while ago but in health class we were using the question box and one of the questions was does cum taste like chlorine. He said how it varies guy to guy but he isn't really an expert on the field of what cum tastes like. I respond without thinking whatever you say Mr. Teacher and then wink at him. 2 seconds after words I'm getting yelled at and thinking I'm a fucking retarded. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Teacher oral | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/us86t/teacher_oral/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | kenlayisalive | null | None | null | null | null | 1339190622 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | us7hr | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_us7hr | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/us7hr/today_i_didnt_fuck_up/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Just spilt a huge glass of water all over my desk. So glade I put my TB harddrive, cable modem, and everything else of note on my desk a top some book I've already read or something.
Here's a thank you from Present-Me to Past-Me, for idiot proofing the place before I had a chance to screw it up. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Today I DIDNT fuck up | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/us7hr/today_i_didnt_fuck_up/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339184794 | null | None | self.tifu | 1339187939 | null | False | null | us24p | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_us24p | null | 13 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/us24p/tifu_my_acting_test/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 16 | null | null | My English teacher is testing us on our ability to act. We started a couple weeks ago, and I get the act/scene that I want in Romeo and Juliet. I memorize all my lines and me and my partner make ours into a great comedy, basically mocking Romeo and Juliet. This goes over with my English teacher and we're very enthusiastic, but one thing is in my way to an easy A. I have really bad stage fright and never told my teacher or my partner, thought that I would just use a couple pointers off the internet and be fine. So this morning we do acting our acting... and of course other classes came to see us act. I do the first 20 of 30 lines fine and the humor goes over well, then I just freeze. I call for line and keep doing the same 2 over again for 15 seconds. I believe that I had my first panic attack, my eyes twitching and I stopped saying anything. I say "I can't do this," and leave. I think this kind of made all the emotions I have come out so I just cry for 45 minutes... truly the worst day of school/my most embarrassing moment.
Edit: Forget to add that I needed to do well on the assignment to get a 4.0 for the year. No straight A's for this guy. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU my acting test | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/us24p/tifu_my_acting_test/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339178751 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | urwkr | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_urwkr | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/urwkr/tifu_i_got_fired/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I was fired from Target which isn't the worst thing to ever happen but still, I fucked up. I had only been working there for 2 months and had missed a bunch of days but I was in school and had another job. Beer oclock it is. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I got fired | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/urwkr/tifu_i_got_fired/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339177690 | null | None | self.tifu | 1339182516 | null | False | null | urvrg | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_urvrg | null | 8 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/urvrg/tifu_and_lost_half_a_percent_of_a_file_i_was/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | That half a percent is almost a million dollars of info. Oops. I will have to find it before my boss finds out I lost it.
Edit: I had lost more that than in pure dollars. I misplaced 3 mil... I should find it soon enough. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU and lost half a percent of a file I was formatting and doing formulas on. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/urvrg/tifu_and_lost_half_a_percent_of_a_file_i_was/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | TheRealIndianajones | null | None | null | null | null | 1339167705 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | urn6k | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_urn6k | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/urn6k/tifu_by_releasing_a_evil_spirt_older_than_time/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by releasing a evil spirt older than time itself into the world. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/urn6k/tifu_by_releasing_a_evil_spirt_older_than_time/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | MrGoldenVoice | null | None | null | null | null | 1339161478 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | urirh | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_urirh | null | 30 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/urirh/tifupdate_after_i_got_fired_from_my_first_job/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 90 | null | null | Okay, so after I got fired from the farm store, which honestly was not my type of store in the first place, I received a facebook message from a guy whom I had worked with at a local radio station doing sports. He tells me that there's been a new opening and it won't be a week or so before the company announced the opening. He told me to get a voice recording and a resume together and turn it in. About two weeks after I turned my information in, I get a call that I'm going to be interviewed. When I showed up for the interview, they told me that they just decided to hire me anyway. About a few months after that, having some more radio experience under my belt, I get a phone call from the Operations Manager, who is also the News Director. He tells me that there's an opening for a job within the news department and based on the nature of my audition, that I would be perfect for the job. I speak to him and schedule an interview, and then what happened was almost material worthy of another TIFU, being that I woke up ten minutes before the interview, and I live 30 minutes from where I work. Luckily I look down and he sent me a text earlier that morning saying we needed to reschedule since he was taking that day off due to sickness. (DODGED A BULLET, THERE.) I learned how to grab news from the AP, other news wires, and from press releases which get sent to the fax machine in my office. (Yeah, I have an office now. feelsgoodman.jpg) My new goals for life are to move to state-wide news with the Illinois Radio Network after receiving my Master's Degree from the University of Illinois at Springfield, and then after that, working for a national, or global news organization. I could talk more, but I have to split, gotta do a newscast. Peace! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFUpdate: After I got fired from my first job. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/urirh/tifupdate_after_i_got_fired_from_my_first_job/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339155934 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | urfru | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_urfru | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/urfru/tifu_by_hanging_on_rghettojerk_in_front_of_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by hanging on r/ghettojerk in front of a black classmate. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/urfru/tifu_by_hanging_on_rghettojerk_in_front_of_a/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | ToXic73 | null | None | null | null | null | 1339154287 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | urf23 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_urf23 | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/urf23/tifu_bacon_cooking/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Today I was cooking bacon and left it in our shitty grill, look back a minute later and it has spontaneously combusted. Worst thing is that I LOVE BACON! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU Bacon Cooking | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/urf23/tifu_bacon_cooking/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339150278 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | urdfo | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_urdfo | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/urdfo/tifu_by_telling_asking_a_girl_to_marry_me/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I started to detail it here, but it made me sad. So fuck it. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by telling asking a girl to marry me | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/urdfo/tifu_by_telling_asking_a_girl_to_marry_me/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | ThePenisFish | null | None | null | null | null | 1339142054 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uraaw | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uraaw | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uraaw/tifu_by_calling_friends_brother_ugly/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | long story:
So, my best friend..Bob has a friend..John. Me and Bob driving home, Bob sais he need to visit John for a sec just to return smth he borrowed. We're standing at John's house and John comes..he looks...different - he's wearing stupid glasses, some strange boots, also he looks like he was drinking non-stop for a week, so I say: "My, you're an ugly one!!" and start to laught out loud, I laugh and laught, then i look at Bob..he's not laughing, not at all, Bob says: "This is not John, that's his brother Matt". I'm shocked. Matt gives me a i-hate-you-look, takes that borrowed thing from Bob and goes home.
sorry for mistakes, i don't speak english good enough. Heve fun. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by calling friend's brother ugly.. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uraaw/tifu_by_calling_friends_brother_ugly/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Hoelt | null | None | null | null | null | 1339141870 | null | None | self.tifu | 1339145070 | null | False | null | ura85 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ura85 | null | 22 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ura85/tifu_i_accidentally_poured_out_the_gin_of_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 38 | null | null | I work as a bus person in a bar and grill. I was taking some washed shot glasses out, and after I put them away one of the bartenders grabbed one of the glasses, put it down, looked at it with what I thought could be a disapproving look, and said to the other bartender, "Okay, this needs to be rinsed. Just rinse it."
In the spur of the moment, I thought that I had done something wrong and that the glass I'd brought out was dirty. I picked up the glass and noticed there was a little bit of a perfectly clear liquid in it, and for some reason, somehow thinking this was the 'dirtiness' and feeling self-conscious, as if I'd left something in there, I poured it out on the floor (there are drains behind the bar). I immediately felt like I was doing something I shouldn't be doing even though I couldn't pinpoint exactly why, so I didn't pour it out completely, nor did I take the glass away to wash it, I just left the glass back where it had been hoping no one would notice... my brain was definitely telling me I'd missed something because *nothing* I'd just did made sense.
As I had gotten a bit of the liquid on my hand, and the gears in my head had started turning, I sniffed my hand while walking away and it smelled like-- just as I feared-- gin. It then hit me that "rinse" probably means "add seltzer water to" or something like that. I skedaddled back to the kitchen and just facepalmed for a good while. If anyone had noticed I would have died of embarrassment.
So, I poured out someone's drink and no one noticed, for absolutely no good reason. It was like clockwork sabotage, except completely accidental. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I accidentally poured out the gin of a customer's drink while the bartender wasn't looking, just before the bartender added the seltzer water and served it. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ura85/tifu_i_accidentally_poured_out_the_gin_of_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | optomistprime | null | None | null | null | null | 1339139134 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ur8y7 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ur8y7 | null | 7 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ur8y7/tifu_swinging_on_a_pullup_bar/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 53 | null | null | SOOooo My parent's house kinda has this pull up bar in the basement it's not like a proper bar its just some long iron/steel bar the previous owners nailed up, and put some steel cord on to keep it there. Been using it for the last few months no problems. yet tonight, I decided it would be cool to when I go under it, swing off it and propel myself towards the door the other side of the room. You can probably guess from the sub-reddit that the support on the side I swung off just said fuck it and gave way, I crashed to the floor. I considered myself lucky for a moment I didn't take the pole to the face or seem to get hurt in the landing. That's before I looked up rediscovered that when one side goes down on side goes up, yep big damn hole in the ceiling...
TL:DR tried to swing on pull up bar, learn't how seesaws work, wrecked ceiling. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU swinging on a pull-up bar | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ur8y7/tifu_swinging_on_a_pullup_bar/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | bashfulfruit | null | None | null | null | null | 1339117217 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uqrvs | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uqrvs | null | 33 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uqrvs/tifu_by_trying_to_make_a_grilled_cheese_sandwich/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 39 | null | null | I don't really know how to cook, so I looked up how to make one from google. Use the wrong pan, let it heat up, and once I put butter in the pan it shot up in flames.
It was then followed by all my fire alarms going off and scaring the shit of me. I don't think I will be touching the stove anytime soon. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by trying to make a grilled cheese sandwich. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uqrvs/tifu_by_trying_to_make_a_grilled_cheese_sandwich/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | tobberobbe | null | None | null | null | null | 1339284632 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | utu6f | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_utu6f | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/utu6f/tifu_starting_an_argument_that_got_out_of_hand/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | My mom walks into my room. She asks if she can borrow my smartphone, she is learning to use one, because she is going to buy one. I let her borrow it, no big deal, i had low battery though. When i go to the living room i see that she plugged in the smartphone. Then i say: That was not very thoughtful, then i will have to unplug the charger and go to my room and plug it back in (i am extremely cautious about my phone, such as battery life). My mother mother and father goes apeshit on me (because i tried to learn my mother how to use one last time, i tried to dumbify it as much as possible but she still did not understand, so i sighed alot and she thought i sighed at her stupidity. I tried to explain why i sighed but i never got the chance to.) and complains about that i was insulting her and trying to make her look stupid. I just said: Okay im sorry, and walks back to my room to avoid further arguments. As i shut the door, my mother opens it and starts yelling at me. By then i took back my phone and said that you will not be allowed to use it again. Bad thing to say. My dad joins in and says all kinds of crap about my behaviour. My mom says that i should not act like that and i start to yell back that i had no intention to start a fight. I ask her to leave, because i wanted no trouble, which was why i walked away. She gets even more mad and i just ask myself over and over again.. What did I do wrong this time? After she continues to yell at me, after several times of saying please, stop. I go into mental breakdown an starts crying, (mainly because i have been a victim of bullying ever since i started preschool, 10 years ago. By bullying i mean serious, i was beaten up once a week, at least. I had rumors of all kinds spread like a virus across the city. It even git so far that two kids lit three mopeds on fire and called the cops that they saw me do it, but at that time i was at a friends house, so i had no alibi on my family. My dad beat me up good, just after the police left our house, after dad signed the ticket of 3500 euros, i guess he did not want any trouble). I started crying and asking her to go away for a while. She didnt. Soon enough i was filled with rage and told her to go out before i do somehing i will regret. I started by force to push her out of the room. Mission failure. I tell her that this is fucking bullying, and you should not even do this! Soon enough i make my way out to the door. I have been missing for a couple of days now.. I managed to block my phones call recieving.. I will go home soon, but i wont forget this.
Spelling errors is reserved for me using a smartphone to write this. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Starting an argument that got out of hand | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/utu6f/tifu_starting_an_argument_that_got_out_of_hand/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339282559 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | utsoi | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_utsoi | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/utsoi/tifu_i_almost_broke_my_ankle_by_being_careless/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | I was sitting in a wooden chair with a horizontal leg rest near the bottom of the legs of the chair. I was sitting behind a desk that doesn't have much leg room, and in front of a wall. So, I was confined in a very tight spot. Somehow half my leg got stuck between the horizontal leg rest and the chair. I tried to stand up and felt an immense paint in my ankle and could tell I was about to snap it due to the odd angle. At this point I was trying to un-lodge my ankle between the chair and the leg rest but the chair got stuck between the desk and the wall and it wouldn't budge. I started making up stories about what I'd say if I snapped my ankle because I knew it was at its breaking point. It was a final draw, knowing I would either snap my angle or free myself I used my lodged leg and kicked the chair as hard as I could freeing my ankle. I can deal with a bruised ankle, wouldn't want to deal with a broke one :-p.
Chair - 1, Me - 0. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I /almost/ broke my ankle by being careless | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/utsoi/tifu_i_almost_broke_my_ankle_by_being_careless/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | rdsxfnrn | null | None | null | null | null | 1339276774 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | utoa1 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_utoa1 | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/utoa1/tifu_by_spending_my_sons_vacation_money/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | well really i have been fucking this up for months. told my son i would spent income tax money (about 5k) on the trip of a lifetime for him and his fam to go to disney. bought airline tix (~2K), and paid deposit on rest. put $$$ into savings for future payment. slowly spent all the $$$. today i realized they would be flying to fla, and they have to sleep at the airport for 10 days. no mickey for you, sorry, ifu. i am sooo screwed! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null |
TIFU by spending my son's vacation money | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/utoa1/tifu_by_spending_my_sons_vacation_money/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339267070 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | utgu2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_utgu2 | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/utgu2/tifu_i_had_fun_reciting_hamlet_out_loud_on_the/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Yeah it sounds redicoulus and it is so let me explain.
So yesterday, after riding home on my bike through a shitty rainfall, I got rid of my wet clothes and immediatly had to take a huge shit. Because all the way home, I couldn't think about anything else but the famous Hamlet monologue starting with "Alas, Poor Yorrick", so I thought what the heck I'ma read it while I'm on the pooper.
So I grabbed my Laptop, loaded up a site with the play on it and began to read. Since I absolutly LOVE dramatic reading, and no one was home anyway I ended up reading out loud the rest of the 5th act and how Hamlet gets angry about his father and wants to fight for his dead love and yadiyada. Sadly my voice isn't really trained for this sort of thing so I noticed that I was straining it a bit.
Fast forward to today. I had to leave home early and I had to ride trough a shitty rainfall again. Later I was sitting in a dimmly lit 'nerdcave' with lots of people playing card games with bad air circulation.
Now my throat just aches and I'm pretty sure it's going to be sore tomorrow by a lot. Thats what I get for indulging into weird pasttimes. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU I had fun reciting Hamlet out loud on the Toilet yesterday, but now my voice is fucked up and I have a throat ache. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/utgu2/tifu_i_had_fun_reciting_hamlet_out_loud_on_the/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339263294 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | utdxb | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_utdxb | null | 48 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/utdxb/tifu_i_stabbed_myself_in_the_pubes/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 195 | null | null | Earlier today I was playing with one of my knives, an assisted opening knife with a damaged torsion bar. For those of you who aren't knife enthusiasts, that means the knife stays closed until you push on a part of the knife blade and then it springs open, and the damaged torsion bar means that the knife doesn't stay closed, so if you were to flip your knife, the blade would pop out. So, I'm pretty good with catching a knife by the blade, but this time that I threw it I accidentally threw with too much force. For some reason, I thought I could still catch it, so I held my hand in position. Unfortunately, when the knife went up so high, I didn't properly estimate the distance, and I missed the knife. This wouldn't be so bad if the knife didn't fall, point down, straight into my crotch, roughly two inches from my penis. To make matters worse, I had just recently sharpened the knife to a razor edge. I don't think I've ever bled so much.
**tl;dr: Threw knife into air, didn't catch it, knife landed in my pubes.** | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I stabbed myself in the pubes | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/utdxb/tifu_i_stabbed_myself_in_the_pubes/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339235730 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ut09b | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ut09b | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ut09b/tifu_im_pretty_sure_the_people_on_my_new_job/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | I was talking to a coworker and he told me his parents were coming in by plane later in the day. He's a foreigner, but has obviously been in the country for a long time. He's one of the only people I've made any connection with since I started three weeks ago.
Anywho, I was curious, so I asked him where he was from. I had planned on following up with a comment regarding the duration of the plane trip his parents were about to embark on. I had no other motive than simple curiosity, but as he told me "I'm from Pakistan", my leg suddenly cramped up. Like *really* bad. From the pain alone, I let out a distinct semi-aggressive grunt with what I only can imagine looked to him like the most disapproving face of disapproval in the history of disapproving faces smeared across my face.
At this moment he just stared at me for a second, and I could see the slight shock in his eyes. Before I managed to say anything, he turned to the other people and continued talking to them with his back against me. Having no natural way of breaking into the conversation to convey the message "I am in fact *not* a racist, just a moron in pain", I ~~walked~~ limped away from the sheer awkwardness.
**TL;DR**: accidental racism | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I'm pretty sure the people on my new job thinks I'm a racist now | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ut09b/tifu_im_pretty_sure_the_people_on_my_new_job/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Kabibbles | null | None | null | null | null | 1339232834 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uszct | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uszct | null | 24 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uszct/tifu_getting_in_a_knife_fight_with_a_bug/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 36 | null | null | Just happened, this flying roach bug or something came running down my wall (We dont have roaches so I was freaked) and I was just chillin lookin at redit. I am barefoot and had my pocket knife right next to me so I whip it out and start stabbing at it. but he was really fast. he jumped on my bed and I was trying with all my might to get him. I ended up cutting my box spring on the side, slicing open my mattress a little bit and cutting my favorite blanket open. at the last moment before he went under a pile of my cloths I say screw it and smash him with my bare foot.
I blame the schools for these bad roaches. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Getting in a knife fight with a bug | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uszct/tifu_getting_in_a_knife_fight_with_a_bug/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339218348 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ussf5 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ussf5 | null | 4 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ussf5/tifu_by_scratching_my_150_sunglasses/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I was outside on the porch looking for something and I leaned over to look behind a bin. I heard a sickening plasticy scratchy sound as I realized I trashed my Oakleys I was wearing on top of my head against the brick wall of the house. It took a lot to save up for those things. I love those sunglasses. I can't believe I did that. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by scratching my $150 sunglasses | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ussf5/tifu_by_scratching_my_150_sunglasses/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | AttackingSail | null | None | null | null | null | 1339215726 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | usqq7 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_usqq7 | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/usqq7/tifu_by_telling_someone_they_were_fat/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 13 | null | null | Alright, I actually have to say this was a long time ago, not today.
So I was on a field trip and one of my friend's mom was a chaperone. (Don't how to spell it, mind my grammar)
At the end of the field trip her mom looked rather 'tired' so I tap her on the shoulder and say, "Mrs.___ you look saturated."
All I can remember is the look on her face and the rage my friend had. At the time I was only in fourth grade so I didn't really know that word meant and the worse part was that my friend's mom was not the skinniest.
We don't talk anymore.
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by telling someone they were fat. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/usqq7/tifu_by_telling_someone_they_were_fat/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339213387 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | usp2t | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_usp2t | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/usp2t/tifu_i_ran_over_a_dog_didnt_tell_anyone/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Someone in the neighbourhood I live whom I never have spoken with has a pet dog, today I was driving a few blocks away and may or may not have been looking forward when I hit his dog (which in my defence I would not have expected to see this far away from his house). Needless to say the poor bugger was dead, I hope nobody saw me (it was during work hours) and I discretely put the carcass in my car and drove to the shore where I unceremoniously disposed of him. I really, really hope nobody saw me otherwise I just may be lucky enough to get away with this. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I ran over a dog, didn't tell anyone. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/usp2t/tifu_i_ran_over_a_dog_didnt_tell_anyone/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339213358 | null | None | self.tifu | 1339215552 | null | False | null | usp1v | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_usp1v | null | 16 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/usp1v/tifu_gave_a_stranger_a_ride_and_got_robbed/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 24 | null | null | So this actually happened about a month ago but I didn't think of posting until now.
My brother and I wanted to go out to some bars and what not for the usual 21st birthday celebration(his). His wife was our DD, driving my car. Anyway my brother and I are feeling pretty good at about 2 a.m. heading back to his place but we have to piss so we stop at a gas station. Turns out it's closed. We start to pull out and this guy flags us down. He tells us that hes down on his luck and his "ol lady" is gonna western union him some money to Walmart but its across town and he could really use a ride. I hadn't even considered that he wouldn't be able to do Western Union at 2 in the morning so being the nice people we are, we give him a ride. We are all laughing and joking in the car having a great time and we get to Walmart and drop him but we still have to piss so we figure we will run in quick pee and leave. Well as I said before Western Union was closed and this guy needed a ride to get back in his neighborhood and it was on our way so we figured ok, he seemed like a nice guy the whole trip to Walmart. Dropped him off went back to my brothers place, everything was fine, woke up the next morning and needed to head home, I live 4 hours from my brother, so I went to grab my GPS which was on the floor in the back and it was gone. Thanks for stealing my GPS Jose, tried doing something nice, turns out you are an asshole.
TL;DR
Everyone survived the trip, Jose stole my GPS | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Gave a stranger a ride and got robbed | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/usp1v/tifu_gave_a_stranger_a_ride_and_got_robbed/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Purecheetodust | null | None | null | null | null | 1339203581 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ushug | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ushug | null | 20 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ushug/tifu_and_trusted_a_fart/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 60 | null | null | Was at work in my cubicle when I was hit with what I thought was just gas. Released my sphincter and proceeded to shit my pants. I had to walk halfway across the building, afraid that the turd that had just tricked me would fall out of my fucking pants. Made it to the bathroom safely and quickly removed my soiled underwear and cleaned up as much as I could given the situation. I couldn't just flush my soiled underwear so I try to sneak out of the stall unnoticed and almost succeed. As I'm throwing my underwear in the trash, my supervisor walks in, sees me and turns around and walks out. We have yet to speak of the situation. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU and trusted a fart. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ushug/tifu_and_trusted_a_fart/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339364289 | null | None | self.tifu | 1339373879 | null | False | null | uv4b0 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uv4b0 | null | 22 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uv4b0/tifu_tried_to_masturbate_ended_up_peeing_all/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 61 | null | null | This is 4 or 5 years old, but the bin and keyboard threads reminded me of it.
You have to keep in mind the computer was temporally in the hall, don't ever make this to your teenage children please.
There was noone on the house, and I had masturbated like 2 times recently, was going for another while I was feeling the need to pee; but I wanted to delay it (if you pee after masturbating, it cleans it so you don't leave stains around).
So there I was, trying my hardest with a youtube video. After some efforts I suddenly felt a known warm sensation, and.... a huge stream of pee started coming out.
This is where the "being in the hall kicks in", I was paralyzed and my eyes instantly darted to the house door thinking "they'll come in right now, won't they?"
The goddess of fortune gave me a break and few seconds afterwards I recovered my senses and walked fastly/ran to the bathroom(opposite in the house...), leaving a huge stream of pee and pretty much ending before I arrived.
I knew they could come in at any moment and find the mess I made, I was in a adrenaline rush, so I started working as fast as I could. I used a mop, insane amounts of paper towel and even resorted to my bathrobe(I was in a state of panic). I think my underwear was wet and I literally put it inside a plastic bag and hided it the best I could (to this day I forgot where I hid it, noone told me about that discovery...). All of this knowing they could come in at any moment.
Finally I was able to remove it before they came, I'm not sure if they noticed the floor being a bit wet/dark, or a lingering smell around the house or in my bathrobe; either they didn't tell me their suspicions or I have repressed that memory...
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Tried to masturbate, ended up peeing all around the house. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uv4b0/tifu_tried_to_masturbate_ended_up_peeing_all/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339358656 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uuztk | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uuztk | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uuztk/tifu_playing_water_polo/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I'll start by saying that water polo is a physical game. There's all sorts of nastiness going on in the pool. Everyone gets fouled and beat up. That's a fact of the game.
I was playing today, and it was the last possession of a club team scrimmage. A defender and I were on the wing (far side of a formation), and the defender grabbed the strings of my cap. I came around with my other arm and pushed the defender underwater to break the hold, which coincided with counterattack, so it all just looked like part of my stroke. Everything moved fast, but the defender got in front of me and tried to stop and draw a foul for me swimming over (which is usually an ejection); I stop and put my hands up. The defender, still facing away from me, elbows me in the jaw.
The other player got out and left. I asked if I was still in, and even offered to go out since I'd escalated the situation.
I felt bad that the whole thing happened. This was just a club-team scrimmage on a Sunday, so I was surprised when someone threw a really dirty foul like that. Did I overreact? I tried to apologize and sort everything out, but the other player already left. No one else on the team seemed to be all that bothered. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU Playing Water Polo | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uuztk/tifu_playing_water_polo/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | ATierney | null | None | null | null | null | 1339356590 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uuy5j | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uuy5j | null | 4 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uuy5j/tifu_made_reservations_for_fathers_day_brunch/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 43 | null | null | The lady laughed pretty hard for at least 5 minutes... | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU Made reservations for Fathers Day brunch, showed up today...It's not Fathers Day. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uuy5j/tifu_made_reservations_for_fathers_day_brunch/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339352001 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uuui4 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uuui4 | null | 36 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uuui4/tifu_urinated_on_my_keyboard/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 140 | null | null | So, I was having this really intense dream this morning, the kind that feels more real than real life, and for some reason I felt like it was vitally important that I pee on something. In my half-asleep state I apparently got up, threw back the covers, and pissed directly and freely onto my 500$ keyboard which was sitting on the floor at a 90 degree angle from my bed. Then I apparently went back to bed like nothing happened. When I woke up, I noticed that my pajama pants and underpants were completely wet with urine and that the bed was soaked in a huge circle around my body. Keep in mind that when I woke up I was still confused about what was reality and what wasn't so I remember thinking something like "excellent, i completed my mission." Then later after I was more conscious I went back into my room to play piano and what did I see but a gigantic fucking puddle of urine, ALL over the floor next to my bed (I got out climbing over the end so I hadn't seen it yet) and all over my keyboard. I cleaned it up and it works fine but now my whole room smells like piss. Dreams are pretty powerful, I would never do something like that IRl but it absolutely seemed like a good idea at the time.
TL;DR: Had a crazy dream, peed all over my home keyboard for no reason. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Urinated on my keyboard | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uuui4/tifu_urinated_on_my_keyboard/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | _acheron | null | None | null | null | null | 1339350777 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uutjd | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uutjd | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uutjd/tifu_by_falling_asleep_on_a_train/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Well, not so much today as a little while ago, but I just found this subreddit not long ago so I thought I'd share it with you all.
Here's a little backstory on how this wonderful event happened:
I don't get much sleep, due to bad habits and an enjoyment of reading/video games.
Public transport makes me tired at the best of times.
Our ticket inspectors had been getting really up-tight about tickets/feet on seat and whatnot.
So, this one winters day about a year back I was on my way into the city to pick up a few things from some stores and catch up with some friends for lunch.
The few nights beforehand I hadn't got much sleep and the days before were busier than usual, so I was a little out of it to begin with, but wasn't too bad in the grand scheme of things.
So I left in the morning, got my ticket and caught the train into the city.
Now, the ticket I had was for Zones "1+2" which was fine because I was only going through those, or so I thought.
I had my day in the city with my friends, picked up a few DVD's, some new drumsticks and a new book to read.
I got back on the train at around 7:30 and by then the lack of sleep was starting to catch up with me. I was a little drowsy but I could usually hold off until I got home and either had a nap or went to bed.
When I boarded the train it was mostly empty except a few people heading home after late work days or whatever they were doing, so I took a two seater and put my backpack under my feet.
This is when everything got crappy.
About 20 minutes into the ride home I could feel myself drifting in and out of little microsleeps and tried to keep myself awake, I sat up straight and tried to keep myself occupied on my phone.
Next thing I know I'm being woken up by a ticket inspector who is pretty much insulting me from the get go about god knows what.
I'm being bombarded with questions about where I got on, where I was going, how old I was and all sorts of jazz.
So I showed him my ticket and thought it was going to be fine... Boy was I wrong.
As soon as the guy saw that I had the wrong ticket he went ballistic (I assume trying to make an example of me or something) telling me that I had the wrong ticket and that I was in the wrong zones and how I was trying to "cheat the system".
He told me that I was trying to get away with it by pretending to be asleep and by acting dumb, he then informs me of the fine I would be getting and starts asking for my details.
Me, still being half asleep, protested against the fine because I honestly had no idea that I was in the wrong zone (or where I was at all for that matter) since I was asleep and I would pay for another ticket to cover where I was and where I would need to go back, he ignored me for the most part and proceeded to talk over me while I asked if I could buy a new ticket and started writing out a fine.
He then goes on to tell me how my feet where on the seat (which would have been impossible in the seats I was sitting in) and how that alone is a terrible thing, how I have no respect and how that is another fine on top of the one I would be recieving for not having the right ticket for where I was.
3 weeks later I recieve nearly $370 worth of fines in the mail.
TL;DR - I don't sleep much, I fell asleep on a train, ended up 4 stops away from where I was meant to get off, got abused by a ticket inspector and got stuck with two fines.
All because I fell asleep on a train. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: By falling asleep on a train. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uutjd/tifu_by_falling_asleep_on_a_train/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | eskiimo | null | None | null | null | null | 1339344814 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uupcy | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uupcy | null | 16 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uupcy/tifu_and_lost_500_on_the_ground_now_some_lucky/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 18 | null | null | Well, I was on Alien Blue (iPhone app that allows you to post on Reddit) and on my way to the ATM. During this time, I was posting comments in /r/new when all of a sudden I began to have an argument with some Redditor about some stupid little muff. If you want to have a read it's actually in my profile and latest comments.
Anyway, we started abusing one another and it gets heated. Well I like to think so, anyway. Because I keep on pulling my phone out to check whether the guy replied or not, I think during the midst of it the money must've slipped out more-or-less out of my pocket because of the constant motion of the phone going in-n-out. Karma works in fucked ways, huh?
**"How can you not feel $500 fall out of your pocket?!"** - I hear the non-believers say. Well, my wallet actually can't fit that much money so I put it in my left back pocket of my jeans where I usually keep my iPhone, hence there's a slip and slide action.
**"Why not the front pockets?"** - You say? I don't know I don't really think to put money in the front pockets when I have back ones.
**"Why do you need $500 anyway?"** - Well if you must ask... I owe some bad people money and that was what I was going to use to pay them back. Now I've got to make different arrangements. But that's life, ay?
**"You sure are dumb."** - Yep.
*TL:DR*: I dropped $500 on the ground because I was in a blind rage and wasn't paying attention.
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: and lost $500 on the ground. Now some lucky twat gets to have it. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uupcy/tifu_and_lost_500_on_the_ground_now_some_lucky/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339338528 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uuljr | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uuljr | null | 58 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uuljr/tifu_with_a_terrible_hookup/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 129 | null | null | This didn't happen to me today, but I just discovered this. Not for weak stomachs.
I was drinking. All of the best/most terrible things happen when I drink. This particular time, I was at a small get together with some friends. Everything was fine and dandy until there was a knock on the door and a group of freshman girls walked in. One of them caught my eye. We will call her 'brandy'.
Brandy and I begin to start talking, which is strange for me because I am usually very terrible with women. We start getting flirty and I suddenly realize that I might actually score tonight. Yes! I get up to go to the bathroom, and a friend approaches me and says, "dude, you don't want to do this. she has slept with the entire hockey team." I brush his comments aside because I am drunk and I need to get laid. I get back and another friend shakes his head at me. Fuck Them.
I am very drunk now and it is time to leave. We separated ourselves from the group and make our way back to her room (we are in a dorm). We get into her bed and instantly start making out. She tells me that this would be easier if she wasn't wearing any pants. Score! I take her pants off and kiss her legs on my way back. As I move farther north, you can assume what happens next.
After about five minutes of cunnilingus, we begin to make out again. She starts ferociously dry humping the shit out of my leg. It kind of creeps me out, but I can deal with it. Around this time, I also notice that there is a terrible taste in my mouth. It is a familiar taste, but it is quite literally on the tip of my tongue. I blame it on bad breath. We continue to make out when I realize that my fingers are stained red and I think that I must have cut my hand on something.
She has a sink in her room, so I stumble over to it and begin to wash my hands, but I can't find a cut anywhere. I spit into the sink also, and I realize that there is a hue of red in my saliva. My mouth must be bleeding too?
Then I put the pieces together and realize what just happened to me.
Very disgusted and slightly confused, I yell out to brandy: "are you on your period?!" Her neighbors have heard me yell, so they bang on the wall. I look at my hands in disgust as she tells me that I need to go. At this point, I am more than okay with this.
On my walk back, I see a friend of mine at the end of the hall. For some drunken reason, I run towards him yelling "help! help!" He turns around and looks at me and starts laughing. He asks me what the hell is on my leg. I am scared to look down, but I do anyways. There is a red smear of menstrual fluid on my upper thigh.
He can see that I have had a long night, so he helps me back to my room. When I get back, I throw my pants in the garbage, brush my teeth, and sit in the shower thinking about what I just did.
The next day, I see Brandy in the halls. It is very awkward. She stops me and tells me that she wasn't on her period, but even if she was I can't tell ANYONE about it. I told everyone, and now i'm telling my fellow redditors.
TL;DR: Made sweet face love to a stranger on her period. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU with a terrible hookup. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uuljr/tifu_with_a_terrible_hookup/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Gibs_is_anim_dom | null | None | null | null | null | 1339333769 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uujc2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uujc2 | null | 67 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uujc2/tifu_i_pissed_in_the_bin_at_the_hospital/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 246 | null | null | Yesterday I had an incredible brain fart that I'm still trying to understand.
I badly needed a piss and rushed into a bathroom in the hospital where I work. I had a wrapper in my hand that I planned to throw in the bin after. Somehow my thoughts got scrambled and I went directly to the bin, stood on the pedal to open it, whipped out my knob and started pissing. Right into the bin!
It took me about 5 seconds to realise what I was doing and, in a dazed panic, waddle like a penguin over to the urinal to finish my piss. A few moments later another person walked in, had a piss and then stood in the growing puddle of piss beside the bin as he washed his hands at the sink. I was too ashamed to tell him to watch out for the bin-piss-puddle.
**For the North Americans: bin = trash can.** | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I pissed in the bin at the hospital. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uujc2/tifu_i_pissed_in_the_bin_at_the_hospital/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Handro3 | null | None | null | null | null | 1339314597 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uud91 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uud91 | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uud91/tifu_by_leaving_a_hair_in_a_customers_plate/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Before I begin, you have to know that I have long hair (almost 2 feet) and wear it in a pony tail most of the times, and at all times during work.
So I just got a job at a small restaurant, and they mostly have me taking food out to customers, but today my boss decided it was time to teach me how to make the different sandwiches we sell. He taught me and then supervised me making several orders. Satisfied with my work, he left me in charge of all sandwich orders.
A couple minutes later a customer comes up to the counter and complains of a long hair in her sandwich, just loud enough that I hear it from my station. The embarrassment was unbelievable.
She was actually quite calm about, and simply wanted another sandwich, but I just couldn't hide my embarrassment for the rest of the day.
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by leaving a hair in a customer's plate | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uud91/tifu_by_leaving_a_hair_in_a_customers_plate/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | fawkesmulder | null | None | null | null | null | 1339304522 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uu808 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uu808 | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uu808/tifu_by_eating_jalapeno_poppers_for_breakfast_and/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 18 | null | null | I have to drive from Los Angeles to Bakersfield and back every Saturday to work at the farmer's market. Like a fool, I only got a couple hours of sleep again. [Last time I almost swallowed my change.](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ui0er/tifu_by_attempting_to_drink_79_cents/)
Around 7 AM this morning I stopped at Jack in the Box for breakfast. I was going to get a breakfast sandwich, but I changed my mind and got jalapeno poppers and two tacos.
I ate the food while driving. The cheese in the stuffed jalapenos tasted a little weird, but I wrote that off to the poppers just not being as delicious as I thought they were -- the last time I ate them, I was drunk, and everything tastes better when you're drunk.
I got to Bakersfield and immediately started feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and threw up a couple times. I also had severe butt-pee.
The day was brutal because I had to interact with customers and pretend to be cheery. I felt so awful. I had to leave my stand twice to yak in the bathroom.
On the 3 hour drive back (it usually only takes 2), I nearly crashed and had to stop several times to throw up. I didn't think I was going to make it.
I'm feeling a little better now, but still going to the bathroom regularly. I also have work early tomorrow =/
I'm never eating fastfood again. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by eating Jalapeno Poppers for breakfast and getting food poisoning | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uu808/tifu_by_eating_jalapeno_poppers_for_breakfast_and/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339457103 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uwytb | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uwytb | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uwytb/tifu_my_moms_relation/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I cant stand her friend and made a profile on a datingsite she was on. We startes chatting and it got at the point where she wants to meet. How should I continue?
From one point it is clear to me that she wants someone else then her current boyfriend. On the other hand, I had the unfair advantage of already knowing some things and make it look like we are soulmates... | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU my moms relation | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uwytb/tifu_my_moms_relation/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339453912 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uww1g | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uww1g | null | 4 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uww1g/tifu_by_quitting_fake_weed/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | I'm fearful of the upcoming ban, so I decided to quit before it goes into effect so that way I don't have to go stone cold sober. This way I can allow my body time to adjust to sober life.
But now, I hate everything, and nothing in life is fun or rewarding. I think I made a huge mistake. I think I fucked up today. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by quitting fake weed | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uww1g/tifu_by_quitting_fake_weed/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339451143 | null | None | self.tifu | 1339475081 | null | False | null | uwtlp | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uwtlp | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uwtlp/tifu_accidentally_sent_an_email_to_1275_students/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Whoops.
Edit: Content of the email included a lot of things which were not ready to be released yet. Planning for the future students mostly. So I'm bracing for the shit storm of potentially 1275 confused emails tomorrow when nothing in that email actually is relevant. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Accidentally sent an email to 1275 students, professors, and faculty. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uwtlp/tifu_accidentally_sent_an_email_to_1275_students/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | beenhard33 | null | None | null | null | null | 1339446454 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uwp46 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uwp46 | null | 66 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uwp46/tifu_and_drank_diesel_fuel/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 252 | null | null | At work today, while filling up a machine, I unknowingly let a substantial amount of diesel find its way into my jug of water. It's one of those rubbermaid gallon jugs and was only about a quarter full when the overflow from our skid-steer must have found its way down the drinking stem thing. Anyways, about a sweaty hour later I was super thirsty and took a few giant gulps before the taste hit me. So seeing as the price of diesel is super high right now, I'd be willing to pee in someones gas tank for $3.00 OBO | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU and drank diesel fuel | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uwp46/tifu_and_drank_diesel_fuel/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Hovertac | null | None | null | null | null | 1339442378 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uwl82 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uwl82 | null | 19 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uwl82/tifu_i_took_my_ipod_out_of_my_pocket_for_and_put/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 38 | null | null | Back one day: I was having some problems with my iPod going slow, so I disabled location services, which disabled "Find my iPhone".
Today: Towards the end of my 9th period class, we were being dismissed 10 minutes early to go clean out our lockers. Right before the announcement, I had taken my iPod touch out (along with the rest of the contents of my pocket) and someone swiped it. I didn't realize this until I was like halfway home and realized it wasn't in my pocket. Fuck. So I open up Find my iPhone on my other iPod and obviously it was not located. So I decided I'll just use the "wipe" option but then I realized, I deleted that function from my iPod in case one of my friends decided to be a scumbag. Fuck. So I went back to the school to connect to the wifi and do a scan to see if my iPod was still at the school. At that point, I realized that earlier in the day, my school's IT department reset all the passwords for next year.
TL;DR: I took my iPod out of my pocket, someone swiped it, no possible way of recovering. I had a *lot* of private information on it. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I took my iPod out of my pocket for and put it on my desk. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uwl82/tifu_i_took_my_ipod_out_of_my_pocket_for_and_put/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | finallypoopedonketo | null | None | null | null | null | 1339434193 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uwdp4 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uwdp4 | null | 16 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uwdp4/tifu_by_severely_overdosing_on_mylanta/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 30 | null | null | Two weeks ago I started doing keto to lose weight. At first it seemed too good to be true, bacon and eggs for breakfast, not really having to exercise, etc. and I was losing over a pound a day, but four days ago that all changed. In short I stopped pooping and no amount of coffee was helping. Over the next few days I all but stopped losing weight and started to get quite bloated which brings us to this morning when I woke up and thought enough was enough, I'm taking a shit today no matter what.
My plan was simple, I was going to have 2 strong cups of coffee and if that didn't work I was going to chug some Mylanta as I remembered it giving me severe diarrhoea in the past. The coffee didn't help so an hour later I took 3 mouthfuls of Mylanta and then started making lunch which today was chilli and garlic prawns. Even though it took around 90 minutes for me to make and then eat lunch, there was still nothing going on with the Mylanta so I figured I would take two more mouthfuls when I took my plate out to the kitchen. Not even a minute after taking the second helping of Mylanta I knew it had just started to take effect. It felt like my stomach was gurgling and my intestines tying up in a knot at the same time. I knew that I was going to poop and soon. About ten minutes later I raced to the toilet and unleashed hell. Biological warfare was being raged poisoning both the air and water. My eyes were watering, my nose burning and it was getting increasingly hard to breathe. Thankfully the Mylanta was dependable and gave my the runs so I was only on the toilet for a few minutes, but as horrible as the experience was I was just glad to have it out of me.
Naturally I washed up and then came out to tell my girlfriend about how happy I was to have finally taken a crap. She wasn't too impressed, but laughed it off and went back to looking at cat pictures. That's when it hit me. That crap was caused by the first round of Mylanta and that it might have only been the first of many, especially since I went back for a second dosing. Sure enough not even 15 minutes after finishing taking my first crap I was back taking another. 15 minutes after the second I took another. Then another. Every 15 minutes almost like clockwork I was running back to the toilet to take a piss out of my ass. I gave up spraying air freshener after the fourth time as it simply stopped working and I knew there was no end in sight. Every time I went back to the toilet it just got worse and worse. I thought after a while things would ease back a bit, but instead lunch decided to work its way through and now my ass hole was burning too. I lost count at that point, but I easily took another half a dozen craps after that which got progressively worse. My ass hole felt like it was a burn victim and about the die, my eyes were watering up constantly, my nose completely lost its sense of smell and every breath I took made me feel like I was going to spew. I had to give it all I had not to vomit and eventually through drinking copious amounts of water to keep myself hydrated things started calming down going from pooping every 15 minutes to every 30 minutes. A few hours later and I was pretty much back to normal, or so I thought. Almost without warning an hour ago I nearly pooped my pants. I thought it was a fart and was starting to gamble with it when I felt a rush of liquid go down my bowel. In what seemed like one swift movement I clenched my ass, got up and started running for the toilet and only just made it. The second I sat down I exploded like a spicy terrorist had just blown apart my ass hole unleashing a torrent of liquid shit once more. All I could do at first was think of the pain and the smell, but once I calmed down I thanked my lucky stars because my girlfriend would never have let it down had I actually crapped my pants. Since I'm currently too scared to sleep (its 2:41am here in Australia) I figured I should kill some time on reddit and share my story. I'll check up on this in an hour or so as it's feeling like I'll have to poop again quite soon and I know how reddit loves having stories come to completion, but after that I intend on hiding my shame behind my normal user name.
**TL;DR: Doing keto to lose weight which resulted in not pooping for 3 days and decided to force the matter using Mylanta. I then pooped like clock work and had a spicy terrorist destroy my ass hole.** | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by severely overdosing on Mylanta | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uwdp4/tifu_by_severely_overdosing_on_mylanta/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339421065 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uw3kl | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uw3kl | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uw3kl/tifu_important_stuff_in_my_browser/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I just had my main computer and my old laptop running at the same time because a friend wants to borrow the laptop and I wanted to make it ready for him. I tend to save all kinds of important stuff in my browser, such as passwords, personalized links to websites and so on, all of which my friend shouldn't get his hands on. So better be safe and delete everything.
Delete saved passwords.
Delete active logins.
Delete bookmarks.
Delete history of ~2.5 years.
I checked every single fucking box in Firefox' "Clear History" window. I manually deleted all the passwords.
Then I felt safe.
Then I realized it was the wrong computer.
FUCKFUCKFUCK | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU important stuff in my browser | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uw3kl/tifu_important_stuff_in_my_browser/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | MissRippit | null | None | null | null | null | 1339410543 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uvyos | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uvyos | null | 192 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uvyos/tifu_and_accidentally_deleted_my_friends_skyrim/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 257 | null | null | I feel so awful. I also realise that for gamers, this is a floggable offence and I was hoping you lovely peeps on Reddit may have an idea as to how I could make it up to him in any small way. The problem is there isn't really the infrastructure in a modern city for a full on flogging, and I'm not going to volunteer to be hung, drawn and quartered. Any other suggestions? | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU and accidentally deleted my friend's Skyrim character (he was level 54) | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uvyos/tifu_and_accidentally_deleted_my_friends_skyrim/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | tricky5903 | null | None | null | null | null | 1339399955 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uvuq2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uvuq2 | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uvuq2/tsomeone_elsefu_gave_himself_a_black_eye_by/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 13 | null | null | We were out working in the garden at school, when this one guy decides to see if a rake will really smack you in the face if stepped on. He didn't have the common sense to hold out a hand, and the handle promptly hit him straight in the eye. Everyone laughed. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | T(Someone else)FU- Gave himself a black eye by stepping on a rake. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uvuq2/tsomeone_elsefu_gave_himself_a_black_eye_by/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | iTrollYhu | null | None | null | null | null | 1339394095 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uvrdg | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uvrdg | null | 16 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uvrdg/tifu_yeah_really_original_i_know/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 14 | null | null | It was a couple days ago as school ended a while ago. I decided to do a prank on this last day of school. What could be my consequence if I get caught? So I had a spare water bottle, and a pin. I proceeded to poke a hole in the bottle. I squirted people with it for one. No one really notices until there is a lot on them. Well, that particular classroom had carpet instead of tile. So I thought "Hey! Why not draw a penis?" Teacher literally interrogated everyone in the class. Called security. Etc. Etc. (she called after she found out I did it.) My 'friend' decided it'd be hilarious to rat me out. Well, security took me to my grade-level principal. Had a nice chat. (Haha, not.) Walked out before she finished talking to me, and just got a letter today saying I'm banned (to summarize) from ever returning there again. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU (Yeah, really original, I know.) | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uvrdg/tifu_yeah_really_original_i_know/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | InsomniacDuck | null | None | null | null | null | 1339392569 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uvqed | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uvqed | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uvqed/every_girl_mentioned_in_rtifu_is_named_amy/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Every girl mentioned in r/tifu is named Amy | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uvqed/every_girl_mentioned_in_rtifu_is_named_amy/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339387113 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uvmlp | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uvmlp | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uvmlp/tifu_pissing_everywhere_in_my_bedroom/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | This wasn't today but it was a long time ago give or take 7 years old. One day I was watching tv, alas I felt the need too piss. Of course there was the bathroom, but I didn't feel like going to the bathroom. so I turned and walked straight into my bedroom and whipped it out proceeding too piss all over the bedroom floor fucking piss everywhere. My parents never knew I did it, or did they? | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU Pissing everywhere in my bedroom | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uvmlp/tifu_pissing_everywhere_in_my_bedroom/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339386568 | null | None | self.tifu | 1339420871 | null | False | null | uvm6g | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uvm6g | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uvm6g/tifu_i_won_an_argument_with_my_wife/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | So my wife decided to paint her and our daughter's finger and toe nails. She left the nail polish down and told our four year old daughter who like pretty colors not to touch them. Yea as you can imagine that didn't work at all. So my kid spilled the nail polish all over the place in her room after she stole it like a ninja.
The fight started when I told my wife it was her fault, being the adult. She should have known that she couldn't trust kid with this stuff. So I told her that she was wrong, and she most likely as a consequence we have lost our $400 deposit on our place. Yea that start a whole damn evening of subtle asshole comments and the cold shoulder on her part.
Edit: A bit of grammatical error. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I won an argument with my wife. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uvm6g/tifu_i_won_an_argument_with_my_wife/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Metalhead62 | null | None | null | null | null | 1339379783 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uvgku | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uvgku | null | 15 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uvgku/tifu_my_eye/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 19 | null | null | So I was playing the drums. While putting my hair behind my ear (There's got to be a better way to say this and it's just completely slipped my mind...) I jabbed the drumstick into my eye. As painful as it was initially, now I'm pretty sure I have a splinter in my eye. I cannot see out of it very clearly, mostly do to barely being able to open my eye. It's not bleeding, so I doubt it will require medical attention. At least it didn't break my glasses, I don't need glass in my eye too. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU my eye. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uvgku/tifu_my_eye/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | dat_penguin | null | None | null | null | null | 1339524132 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uyalm | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uyalm | null | 19 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uyalm/tifu_blackedpassed_out_after_tailgating_before/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 8 | null | null | I only just found this subreddit, so in truth this fuck up actually took place on May 25th (my sincerest apologies).
I'll begin by stating the fact that I have never been to a concert before in my life. I've never really seen the appeal, I enjoy saving money, etc...whatever. This being my first concert, I was pretty pumped to really enjoy myself and the company of great friends.
So, myself and six other friends got the idea to go see Dave Matthews Band in concert in Hartford for a pleasant get-together, as we had all recently gotten back from college. We took two cars, and everyone had their own supply of alcohol (I had plain vodka, with cranberry juice). Being the rambunctious group that we are, we were finding every excuse possible to take shots together (e.g. found out my buddy wouldn't be deployed in the fall, we all survived the past semester, we were really thirsty, etc.).
After the 40ish minute car ride there, everyone (except the drivers, don't panic) was feeling pretty damn good - the main difference being that I, unlike the others, still had plenty of beverage left. Needless to say, I killed the rest of it over the next hour of tailgating to refrain from being wasteful. The time then came to head over to the concert, to which we all made it to intact. Before the first band was even introduced, I had my last memory of my time there: a friend leaning over me (I had taken a liking to the comfortable plushness that was the concert lawn) saying "You have to get up...are you okay...security's coming..."
Let's skip forward to approximately 12:30 am, when my memory kicked back in. IV in my arm...dressed in a medical patient's clothing...inside of a hospital...PARENTS. It was about this time I began realizing that I fucked up, even though my BAC was still slammed (so I was told). As soon as I was able to lift myself out of the bed and into a wheelchair, I was taken back home by my parents, all the while racking my brains to try and piece together my night.
It wasn't until about a week later that I learned what happened from 8 pm on that night, as the adventure was recounted to me by my ever- so-willing friends. Apparently, after blacking out and vomiting violently, I was taken from my friends' hands by concert security, asked if I would rather be arrested for underage intoxication or hospitalized, and subsequently shipped by ambulance to a hospital. Everyone else, being very concerned for my well-being, 20 minutes later began calling every surrounding hospital they could think of to try to find me. Not having any luck, they all piled into a car and began a three-hour escapade around central Connecticut. They stopped at various police headquarters, hospitals, you name it. Eventually they went back to the theater as a final effort before giving up. There, they finally learned that I was in New Britain Hospital. Little did they know that little bit of information was incorrect, for I was actually in Farmington Hospital. Hooray for communication. In any case, at least they thought they knew where I was, and so they went home.
So at my first concert, I didn't actually get to see a single performance, but rather put on a little show of my own. My stupidity also prevented my friends from seeing any of the concert as well, which we each paid $50 for.
**TL;DR:** See post title. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | "T"IFU: Blacked/passed out after tailgating before DMB, woke up in hospital with parents 4 hours later | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uyalm/tifu_blackedpassed_out_after_tailgating_before/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Bumbling_idiot | null | None | null | null | null | 1339522648 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uy93t | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uy93t | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uy93t/tifu_may_not_be_able_to_graduate_from_college/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 64 | null | null | Well, here it is. 2 years ago I switched colleges within my university, from engineering to life science. I intended to major in Biochemistry. I failed dynamics (DAMN!), it was my own fault. Well I transfer, and meet my new advisor, who tells me that I am fine to continue, its a fresh start, yadda yadda.
Fast forward 2 years, this advisor has been fired, I believed that I graduated, and thought it was over. I recently received some mail that I did not complete my coursework, so I check my degree audit. Lo and behold, a class I took was missing. In the course of fixing this issue, I find out that I should never have proceeded at all, due to being below a minimum GPA to enter the college (because of this F). Now I will probably not get my degree, and will most likely have wasted a TON of money for 2 years of difficult classwork in which I have posted a 3.0. Fuck me. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: May not be able to graduate from college | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uy93t/tifu_may_not_be_able_to_graduate_from_college/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Cookies_nom_nom | null | None | null | null | null | 1339510862 | null | None | self.tifu | 1339511394 | null | False | null | uxych | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uxych | null | 88 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uxych/tifu_by_putting_sperm_in_my_ear/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 194 | null | null | So last night I was enjoying some alone fappy time while my girlfriend was playing skyrim in the other room. I was using headphones, but only one so I could hear her coming if she did, which she didn't. No, instead I got to fully enjoy my fap and finished up, had my post-fap "what the fuck am I watching" moment then cleaned up. Later that night me and my girlfriend went to bed where she passed out almost immediately, but I wasn't tired so I decided to read for a little while. I got my book and my ipod, sat down in bed, turned on some william fitzsimmons, put my headphones in and froze. I realized what the slimy squish in my left ear was almost before it happened and I was frozen in fear of what to do. I ended up pouring a nearby can of mountain dew down my shirt and slipped into the shower for a good hour of trying to figure out just how one cleans jizz from their own ear. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by putting sperm in my ear. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uxych/tifu_by_putting_sperm_in_my_ear/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | neogrotesque | null | None | null | null | null | 1339476570 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uxfuq | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uxfuq | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uxfuq/tifu_i_microwaved_macaroni_salad/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 54 | null | null | I've never had macaroni salad, okay?
This is the most awkward meal right now. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I microwaved macaroni salad. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uxfuq/tifu_i_microwaved_macaroni_salad/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | khenson1283 | null | None | null | null | null | 1339470838 | null | None | self.tifu | 1339644694 | null | False | null | uxazz | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uxazz | null | 67 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uxazz/tifu_got_thrown_out_of_my_house_bit_of_a_long/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 20 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Got thrown out of my house, bit of a long story. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uxazz/tifu_got_thrown_out_of_my_house_bit_of_a_long/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | asnof | null | None | null | null | null | 1339619130 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | v0eii | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_v0eii | null | 10 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/v0eii/tifu_passed_out_instead_of_having_sex/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 14 | null | null | Well last night was my best friends 20th birthday. Drinks were had and it was an amazing night, except I dont remember too much of it. I woke up in her bed and we had clothes on so if we did do it I certainly cant remember. DAMNIT! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU passed out instead of having sex | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/v0eii/tifu_passed_out_instead_of_having_sex/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | yout1014 | null | None | null | null | null | 1339618442 | null | None | self.tifu | 1362626875 | null | False | null | v0dtn | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_v0dtn | null | 66 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/v0dtn/tifu_by_going_on_reddit_with_my_school_laptop/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 77 | null | null | So I was bored when doing some homework and decided to go on reddit. Being the derp I am I clicked on a couple of nswf links. Now my school has a very strict policy about going on sites like reddit and about pornography. Well, I haven't gotten called to the tech office. But I Fucked up bad. If they find out. The last 4 days of school will be in ISS and my parents will probably murder me. So theres my fuck up.
EDIT: Wow, 50 up votes. Best post yet. To answer certain questions I can't delete the program that tracks the history. I'd need a MLTI passcode Plus we already gave up our laptop for the year. And also I live in Maine. thats why we have take home laptops.
EDIT 2: Wow 111 upvotes! Uhhg, why can't self posts get karma, anyway I'm out of school with my hands free. Thanks for support and responses.
EDIT 3: Past 120 mark. My best post yet. Still no word from the school. I'll keep you guys posted.
EDIT 4: So I've been out of school for a week and no one has been at the school for awhile (Me and my friend BMX and we live in the middle of no where so the school is the only place that has curbs, so we go there about every day) I'm wondering if the IT team let it slide.
SUPER EDIT: Over a year and I don't think they checked the history.
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by going on reddit with my school laptop. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/v0dtn/tifu_by_going_on_reddit_with_my_school_laptop/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | PaleHorse94 | null | None | null | null | null | 1339618360 | null | None | self.tifu | 1339634453 | null | False | null | v0dql | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_v0dql | null | 24 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/v0dql/tifu_spilled_nacho_cheese_all_over_my_manparts/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 133 | null | null | Well, I work at Taco Bell and we have to have all our Nacho Cheese on line at once. This is usually about 4-5 bags. They don't always fit in the front and the one that I tried to bring forward had been sitting in the back of our heated line for about 3 hours. The pan it was in was too hot and it ended up slipping out of my hand, and spilling all over my dick and the ground. Just for a little comparison; our beef has to be heated at at **LEAST** 165^o Fahrenheit. So needless to say it wasn't fun for me or my boys.
Attach the facts that:
1.) My managers now think I'm a butterfingers.
2.) I had to clean up all that steaming hot cheese that violated my most personal area.
I think it's safe to say that Today I fucked up.
**TL/DR: I burned my man-burrito with hot cheese and had to clean it up.** | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Spilled Nacho Cheese All Over My Man-Parts | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/v0dql/tifu_spilled_nacho_cheese_all_over_my_manparts/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1339611840 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | v07di | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_v07di | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/v07di/sent_office_wide_email_and_included_a_different/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 7 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | sent office wide e-mail and included a different office. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/v07di/sent_office_wide_email_and_included_a_different/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | momoney181 | null | None | null | null | null | 1339603492 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uzzb2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uzzb2 | null | 15 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uzzb2/tifu_and_pissed_in_some_random_chicks_dorm/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 97 | null | null | So this particular event didn't happen to me just now, it occurred about 3 or 4 months ago during my spring break.
Me and another friend of mine were back in town from college for spring break, and had planned to go up to Madison, Wisconson and visit some friends who went to college there (they were still in school) and party it up there. We had a shit ton of fun except for the saturday night where I FU. I vaguely remember this, more of as a dream, but nontheless it happened. I got up from being passed out on my friends futon in his dorm and walked over the masses of drunk people on the floor to use the bathroom. But i was still pretty drunk at this point so i unfortunately didnt make it to the bathroom. I walked to the other side of the hall and went to a room identical to my friends (just on the other side). The door was open so i walked in, thinking it was my friends, and passed out again on a bed. I woke up soon after and pissed in the garbage can then zipped up my jeans and tried to fall back asleep in the bed. Turns out this was some random persons room and they woke up to me pissing in the garbage can. and the bed that i was sleepin in, there was some naked chick in there too. She was screaming and wondering who the hell i was. The guy who was in the room too, on the top bunk, was kind enough to tell me that this wasn't my room and that i need to leave. Since i was incapacitated still, i murmured my friends name and he led my drunk ass back to their room.
When i woke up the next morning back on the futon i thought the whole thing was a dream. Even all my friends who i told the story too didn't believe me. So i laughed it off, thinking nothing of it, until later that day i see the same guy who helped me back to my friends room. I was shocked and asked him if what happened last night actually happend and he confirmed my story. At this point everyone else started celebrating cause they now had an amazing story to hold over my head for the rest of my life. Safe to say.. I fucked up. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU and pissed in some random chicks dorm | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uzzb2/tifu_and_pissed_in_some_random_chicks_dorm/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | captainpungent | null | None | null | null | null | 1339600112 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uzwdp | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uzwdp | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uzwdp/tifu_my_espressomaker_my_right_hand/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 9 | null | null | I put my fairly new espressomaker on the stove and then got lost in fixing my bike. When the smell of the molten plastic hit my room I rushed over and, out of pure stupidity, grabbed it to throw it into the sink. Ouch. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU my espressomaker & my right hand | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uzwdp/tifu_my_espressomaker_my_right_hand/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | rainbow-ostrich | null | None | null | null | null | 1339571631 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uzh6o | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uzh6o | null | 4 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uzh6o/tifu_by_accidentally_giving_my_friends_consent_to/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Me and three friends were walking home from school and stopped for about twenty minutes on the corner where we part ways when my one friend said that if you stare at someone in the eye for seven seconds it means that you either want to kill them or have sex with them, so naturally I stared her in the eye for about ten seconds. My other two friends were joking around about that I either wanted to kill her or have sex with her, and I blurted out "You can't have sex at my house!" since I have a loft bed, although it sounded like I said that they can. Now they all think they have my permission to show up at my house to have sex. Shit. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by accidentally giving my friends consent to have sex at my house. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uzh6o/tifu_by_accidentally_giving_my_friends_consent_to/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | CallMeCatman | null | None | null | null | null | 1339558730 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uz7mg | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uz7mg | null | 67 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uz7mg/tifu_by_falling_face_first_into_boobs/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 393 | null | null | Kinda self explanitory. I was walking in the halls, talking to my friend, when I tripped on whateverthefuck. Little did I notice the girl infront of me. I fell face first into her chest infront of a hallway full of kids. Accidental Motorboat. I have never been so delighted to fuck up so badly... | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by falling face first into boobs. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uz7mg/tifu_by_falling_face_first_into_boobs/ | null | null | null | null |