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null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335021750 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | slbpf | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_slbpf | null | 12 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/slbpf/tifu_i_got_all_the_way_to_work_only_to_realize_i/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 37 | null | null | To make matters worse, I have an 8 hour shift today. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I got all the way to work only to realize I didn't bring any tampons with me. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/slbpf/tifu_i_got_all_the_way_to_work_only_to_realize_i/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335016518 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sl8uj | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sl8uj | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sl8uj/tifu_by_accepting_a_last_minute_prom_date_from_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | I know this is my fault but the guy talks fast and before I could really excuse myself from the situation he'd had bought the tickets. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by accepting a last minute prom date from a really kind and attractive Fes. He's ecstatic, but I never wanted to go to prom in the first place, which happens to be why I said no to my "boyfriend". Prom is today and I'm going to have to ruin somebodies morning. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sl8uj/tifu_by_accepting_a_last_minute_prom_date_from_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | LoneCoffeeDefender | null | None | null | null | null | 1335003729 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sl4ed | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sl4ed | null | 20 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sl4ed/tifu_i_have_a_research_paper_due_about_6_hours/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 67 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU. I have a research paper due about 6 hours ago I started two hours ago. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sl4ed/tifu_i_have_a_research_paper_due_about_6_hours/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | drone13 | null | None | null | null | null | 1334992757 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sl0y1 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sl0y1 | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sl0y1/tifu_by_giving_a_speech_in_public_speaking_about/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 41 | null | null | The assignment was to bring a photograph with significance to the presenter and talk about it. I forgot my picture so I winged it and went on about how important the abstraction of "nothing" is to me while fawning over an ordinary piece of paper. Professor gave me a thumbs down and my peers think I'm either autistic or a nihilist. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by giving a speech in public speaking about my most treasured photograph, a blank piece of paper. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sl0y1/tifu_by_giving_a_speech_in_public_speaking_about/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334990168 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | skzvi | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_skzvi | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/skzvi/tifu_i_am_going_to_fail_my_calculus_because_i/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | I should have been cramming an entire semester worth of calculus, but I spent the day perusing the web. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU; I am going to fail my calculus because I spent the day procrastinating rather than studying. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/skzvi/tifu_i_am_going_to_fail_my_calculus_because_i/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | bjoe9 | null | None | null | null | null | 1334979207 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sktit | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sktit | null | 15 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sktit/tifu_turned_down_a_better_job/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 46 | null | null | I received a call from a tech recruiter about a job 5 minutes from my house that paid more. They needed filled the position as soon as possible. I drive 80 miles a day for my current job. I turned him down because I couldn't give a two weeks notice. Kicking myself in the ass about it now. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Turned down a better job. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sktit/tifu_turned_down_a_better_job/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | HankHillWearingACape | null | None | null | null | null | 1334972513 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | skowd | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_skowd | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/skowd/tifu_vomiting_in_a_bag_in_school_and_instead_of/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Everyone saw it and a lot of people puked themselves, so it got all over the gym.
School closed because everyone was throwing up. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU vomiting in a bag in school and instead of walking right out to the nurse's office I walked around the whole gym and hallways | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/skowd/tifu_vomiting_in_a_bag_in_school_and_instead_of/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | done_in_by_data | null | None | null | null | null | 1334972359 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | skorw | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_skorw | null | 38 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/skorw/tifu_and_started_a_shitstorm/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 48 | null | null | OK, here goes:
An ex employee turned over a company phone, and it was given to me to babysit. I looked through the phone and everything appeared to be erased except for the contact list and some recent texts...nothing out of the ordinary. My job was too answer it and reply to any messages. I won't pretend to be tech-savvy. To me it looked like a clean phone, with the contacts added back in. No email, no photos, no messages. Just the contact list and some recent calls.
I had the phone for 2 days...on the second day, it receives a notification of a new email. I checked it...but was confused for a second. The sender had an obviously erotic email address. We'll call it "glendahotbodyforyouxxx" or "glenda" for short....and while we are at it, let's call the ex employee "Tim".
At any rate, the email came in from Glenda, and had there not been an entire conversation thread that showed up with it, I would have chalked it up to spam. But as I read the email thread I pieced together that Tim was in the habit of hiring expensive ex porn-stars that he contacted through various xxx escort services and flying them across country for over-night or weekend rendezvous.
If you knew Tim, you'd be shocked. He's quiet, reserved, polite and NEVER spoke about a woman, or a girlfriend during his entire employment. As a matter of fact, I had him pegged as either gay, or simply asexual.
At the very moment I was discovering this email and figuring it out, a co-worker entered my office. Apparently my face gave everything away, because he said "WHAT?!" as soon as he saw me and ran over to see what I was looking at. We were both amazed. We looked up the name on the internet and found Glenda's webpage. All I can say is, "WOW" that chick was hot. I was impressed. He had good taste and this lady looked expensive.
I brought the phone home that night to show my husband. He found all the emails. Tim had failed to unlink his account and they were still there. The other emails were more descriptive of his actual tastes S&M stuff, OTK, spanking...and an email with a different escort company asking for references. Tim was able to give her OTHER escorts to verify him. It appeared that he met up with them regularly on about an every two month interval. Now, I'm not knocking Tim's preferences. To each his own....but when you find out something about a person that is so completely flip-sided, it's a lot to take in.
My husband also found photos. OMG, the photos. They were very graphic, very NSFW.
The next day, I show my co-worker the rest of what was found. I also told ONE other person about the photos, and the photos only. That guy apparently already knew more of the story from Tim himself. Because he finished up by telling *me* about Tim's proclivity.
By the end of the day, Tim had found out and he was livid. He actually called my boss and told him that I was telling everyone that he flies transvestite hookers around the world for sex. My boss found this insane, and told me I should call him and ask what was going on. He was NOT happy, but he didn't think any of it was true. I told my boss that I'd never said to anyone that Tim flies transvestite hookers anywhere, and left it at that.
So I called Tim on my way home, and the conversation was awkward to say the least.
Here is how the call to Tim went:
Me: Yes, the boss said I should call you.
Tim: A little bird told me that you are saying I'm flying transvestite hookers across country for sex.
Me: Well that just sounds bizarre. Doesn't it sound *bizarre* to you?
Tim: (rushed and frustrated) Other people used my phone and if there were pictures on there then that's what it's from. I erased my phone before I turned it in.
Me: Well, if you erased it, then there isn't anything there, *is there*?
Tim: Well, if there *is* anything on my phone, it's not from me.
Me: OK...anything else?
Tim: Nah, have a good day. Talk to you later.
I hope all is quite tomorrow, but I doubt this will soon be forgotten. I **really hope** that's it though. I hope Tim just moves on with his new job and never looks back....he's got to make a lot of money after all.
I feel bad that I told anyone, I should have just re-set the phone and kept it to myself.
TL;DR: Do a hard re-set on a company owned device before you turn it in, especially if you dabble in sex-for-hire.
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU and started a shitstorm. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/skorw/tifu_and_started_a_shitstorm/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | OrangeMonkeyee | null | None | null | null | null | 1334967636 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sklcc | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sklcc | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sklcc/tifu_my_cookies/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | So i'm making these dank ass chocolate chip cookies and have no butter so I'm using peanut oil. ( hmmm not sure about this) Then I converted 1 stick of butter as 1 cup of oil. Then I dumped in multi baking bisquick pancake mix. Wonder how these'll taste/ | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU my cookies | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sklcc/tifu_my_cookies/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | mndgrnla | null | None | null | null | null | 1335122006 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | smyjm | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_smyjm | null | 32 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/smyjm/tifu_by_accidentally_knocking_over_a_bottle_of/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 68 | null | null | It was a glass bottle of course, so it made a huge mess. After I knocked it over, I ran into a bunch of people I knew who saw what happened. That was embarrassing.
Then, I almost got into a wreck on the drive home because I didn't get over into the right lane fast enough and I had to cut off the car behind me, and my boyfriend was in the car so he got mad at me. Then, after I got home and started putting my groceries away in the fridge I accidentally knocked out my roommate's food and it spilled all over the kitchen floor.
TL;DR I'm ridiculously clumsy today, and my boyfriend blamed it on my vagina/being a woman. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by accidentally knocking over a bottle of wine at WalMart | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/smyjm/tifu_by_accidentally_knocking_over_a_bottle_of/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335103759 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | smm8x | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_smm8x | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/smm8x/tifu_i_lost_my_graduation_ring/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 35 | null | null | When I graduated from Software Engineer in 2009, my parents gave me a gorgeous ring that had the logo of my university, my title, my initials, the date, and 3 tiny blue stones. It was simple, small and elegant. I promised to them I would always wear it. I took it off to wash my hands and put it in my pocket. But it's not in my pocket or anywhere in my place. I was not even able to take care of it for 3 full years. I hope if I get married, I don't lose that ring as well. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU. I lost my graduation ring. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/smm8x/tifu_i_lost_my_graduation_ring/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Chairmanmeyow | null | None | null | null | null | 1335072712 | null | None | self.tifu | 1337795953 | null | False | null | smbbi | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_smbbi | null | 88 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/smbbi/tifu_by_leaving_my_debit_card_in_the_atm_the/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 203 | null | null | UPDATE: Sorry it took me so long! I don't know if this is the proper way to update on a post, but here goes.
My bank gave me the money back with very little hassle a couple weeks after the incident. I had to wait for the charges to officially post to my account, which took a few days. I navigated the automated system a few times to get in touch with the Claims department. I was issued a new bank card even though the guy who took my money from the ATM left my debit card behind. I also had my limit decreased. Once I actually filed the claim, I set up an appointment at my bank to see photographs from the ATM. I had to complete a form identifying the guy if I could (I could not). The next week I got a deposit! Love my bank.
Unfortunately, I got a call yesterday from my bank informing me of some suspicious charges to my account. I took a look at my transaction history and there are 2 charges ($250 an $200) from Publix #store number. I Googled and found out that this is a grocery store in FL. I live in CA. As I mentioned above, I was issued the new card just 2 weeks ago and I did not lose it... I have to go through the whole process again. Yesterday, I cancelled my current card and will be issued a new one. I have to wait for the transactions to post and then file a claim. WTF. I'm actually kind of concerned that this happened again so recently, but I don't believe the two incidents are related. Any thoughts?
Edit: Wow. I am so bad at this. Lost the original text of my post didn't I? | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by leaving my debit card in the ATM. The person behind me withdrew $900. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/smbbi/tifu_by_leaving_my_debit_card_in_the_atm_the/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | OutFawksed | null | None | null | null | null | 1335053305 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | slybe | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_slybe | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/slybe/tifu_i_started_seeing_a_girl_that_friendzoned_one/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Hi Reddit,
My friend, lets call him Jack, is pretty much obsessed with this one girl and has been for maybe a year, lets call her Jane, and has been friendzoned pretty damn hard. Only problem is he doesn't seem to understand that it won't happen. Anyway I had met her a couple of times and got chatting with her on facebook on the Wednesday and arranged to go for a coffee today (Saturday), Jack found out about this through Jane and got really pissed off. Later that day one of my friends came over to mine, lets call him Dave, and we had a couple of joints and chilled out. So I went into town this morning with Dave and he met up with another friend, lets call him Steve, and they went off and did stuff and things and I met up with Jane. So Jane and I had a nice little chat over coffee and we kissed; this would not have been a problem if one of Jacks other friends hadn't seen us and told him about it. So I walked Jane to work and left her to it and went about my day with a lot of people telling me that Jack was pissed at me. So later today around 6pm, Jack meets Jane at work and they end up arguing and I go to comfort her and walk her to the train station, she gets on the train and goes home, this is about 7pm. I then get a text from Steve telling me that he wants me to come over and have a few beers with him and Dave; I end up going with this offer and they tell me they're at one end of town so I walk 25 minutes over there to find that they aren't there and they won't answer their phones. So I walk back over to Steve's house at about 9pm, really pissed off and just want to talk to him about what was going on, Steve and Dave then tell me over text that it was all a big joke and that I couldn't stay over, they then hopped the fence in the back of his garden and went out to avoid seeing me. So at this point I had missed the last train home, I don't drive, my parents had been drinking and had no cash for a taxi and I was stuck 9 miles from home. Luckily one of my friends gave me a lift home otherwise I would have been in deep shit. I also found out later this whole piece of shit situation was because Dave and Steve had ran into Jack on the way to Steve's house and they wanted to fuck with me. Despite Dave and Steve being my friends.
tl;dr seeing a girl a friend is into, got fucked over by some of my supposed friends. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I started seeing a girl that friendzoned one of my friends | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/slybe/tifu_i_started_seeing_a_girl_that_friendzoned_one/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | xyz66 | null | None | null | null | null | 1335219375 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sow5i | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sow5i | null | 37 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sow5i/tifu_because_i_just_found_out_ive_been_calling_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 210 | null | null | For the past 2 years, I've been calling this girl Susan, and I found out today that her name is really Jeanette, which would explain the look she'd give me whenever I said hi or tried talking to her. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU because I just found out I've been calling a girl I know by the wrong name for the past two years. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sow5i/tifu_because_i_just_found_out_ive_been_calling_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | inflexiblemadness | null | None | null | null | null | 1335218105 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | souwd | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_souwd | null | 33 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/souwd/tifu_by_accidentally_hitting_my_cat_so_hard_he/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 47 | null | null | My cat was sitting on the coffee table and the remote was to the left of me. I reached across my body with my right hand to grab the remote and right as I brought it across my body my cat decided he wanted to jump from the coffee table to the couch. I hit him right in the face in mid-air pretty loudly, and didn't even know what the fuck had happened at first.
He staggered away for a second licking his mouth. I checked his face to make sure he wasn't bleeding or anything. Stupid ass cat.
TL;DR - Clocked the cat with the remote, he's fine.
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by accidentally hitting my cat so hard he staggered away. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/souwd/tifu_by_accidentally_hitting_my_cat_so_hard_he/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | I_WASTE_TIME | null | None | null | null | null | 1335216369 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sot7z | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sot7z | null | 4 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sot7z/tifu_i_was_too_lazy_to_go_to_the_funeral_of_my/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | She died last Saturday at the age of 96, and today at 8.30 was her funeral. I woke up at 8 and was deciding whether to go or not :|.
This was the most fucked up decision I had to make, i mean its suppose to be clear that the answer should have been to go to the funeral, yet i didn't.
I decided to sleep it off. Fuck!!!
That's how I fucked up today =( | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU - I was too lazy to go to the funeral of my great grandma. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sot7z/tifu_i_was_too_lazy_to_go_to_the_funeral_of_my/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335215563 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sosfe | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sosfe | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sosfe/i_was_too_lazy_to_go_to_the_funeral_of_my_great/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | She died last Saturday at the age of 96, and today at 8.30 was her funeral. I woke up at 8 and was deciding whether to go or not :|.
This was the most fucked up decision I had to make, i mean its suppose to be clear that the answer should have been to go to the funeral, yet i didn't.
I decided to sleep it off. Fuck!!!
That's how I fucked up today =( | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | I was too lazy to go to the funeral of my great grandma. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sosfe/i_was_too_lazy_to_go_to_the_funeral_of_my_great/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | SenseiCAY | null | None | null | null | null | 1335211866 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | soota | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_soota | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/soota/tifuinstead_of_being_at_work_right_now_i_should/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 21 | null | null | I had an appointment for today, and it should be wrapping up right now, except after a hectic weekend, I forgot all about it. I still have to pay for it. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU...instead of being at work right now, I should be getting a massage. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/soota/tifuinstead_of_being_at_work_right_now_i_should/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | l0l_cabbage | null | None | null | null | null | 1335210762 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sonry | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sonry | null | 61 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sonry/tifu_wanted_to_pee_had_a_boner_bended_down_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 225 | null | null | Never bend down then you pee with a boner :S It's better to wipe your pee later. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU - Wanted to pee. Had a boner. Bended down a little bit to don't miss the toilet bowl. Peed on my face instead. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sonry/tifu_wanted_to_pee_had_a_boner_bended_down_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | SheWasSoHot | null | None | null | null | null | 1335210031 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | son34 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_son34 | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/son34/tifu_by_writing_an_apology_to_a_friend_of_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | For the sake of making this easy, lets call my friend L, the friend of hers Y and my other friend T
It was my friend who asked me to do it, so i did it. I've never said no to her, so this was no expection.
So, i wrote an apology, i really ment it actually, because i had no reason to hate him. I was just jealous of him being "BFF"s with her. What i didn't know was that L and Y was talking with my other friend T. T have always supported me and helped me to bad times and stuff. So, they're talking, I write an apology to Y, and guess what. He starts being all arrogant, starts thinking hes better than me and stuff. T tells me this, and that he have been lauguhing. So much for being a good friend. Then, suddenly, L wont talk to me anyone, apperantly she needs room. She denies that he have been telling it to the other twos.
So right now, im not quite sure that i still got L as my friend. She won't answer me in any way. T i guess will stay loyal, and Y? Well, he can suck my dick.
Oh and throwaway.
Just had to get this off my shoulders reddit. Thanks. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by writing an apology to a friend of a friend that i've been hating. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/son34/tifu_by_writing_an_apology_to_a_friend_of_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335207700 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sokwa | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sokwa | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sokwa/tifu_bended_down_a_little_bit_to_pee_and_dont/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU - Bended down a little bit to pee and don't miss the toilet bowl. Peed on my face instead. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sokwa/tifu_bended_down_a_little_bit_to_pee_and_dont/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | easycig | null | None | null | null | null | 1335189117 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | so58c | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_so58c | null | 34 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/so58c/tifu_by_shocking_myself_in_the_eye/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 60 | null | null | My E-cig broke so until I can make a run to Radio Shack and make something I've been using a usb cable since they are both the same voltage and connecting it to the positive and negative part of the terminals so I can still puff. I took a drag and the cable must have been twisted just right because when I set it down it untwisted and went right into my eye. It was only 5 volts so it didn't hurt too bad, it definitely gave me a fright though. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by shocking myself in the eye. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/so58c/tifu_by_shocking_myself_in_the_eye/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | izzismitty | null | None | null | null | null | 1335153835 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sno5q | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sno5q | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sno5q/tifu_by_dropping_an_entire_tray_of_food/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 10 | null | null | I'm a waitress at an award winning German restaurant, and I have a year of serving experience. I've never dropped a [huge tray of food](http://www.instawares.com/products/2/2700GR-004_127201212707_full.jpg) before. Today, I was carrying 3 people's $50 worth of food, and was holding a [tray stand](http://www.traystandworld.com/Tts2.jpg) in my other hand. I got about 10 feet away (within view of my table). All of a sudden, it just went down...all over the carpet. Thankfully, my table was super cool and understood, since it was a whole lot of food... | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by dropping an entire tray of food | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sno5q/tifu_by_dropping_an_entire_tray_of_food/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | WarDamnTexas | null | None | null | null | null | 1335148707 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | snjxj | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_snjxj | null | 15 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/snjxj/tifu_thought_i_was_a_rally_driver/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 34 | null | null | Earlier today, I decided i'd take my Tacoma and go tearing around the national forest, as I do, from time to time. I've only been on one of the dirt roads that branch off the highway for a couple minutes, and covered about a mile, when I come down a hill in a left-handed sweeper. I see a couple holes in front of me, so I cut left to avoid them, and as I do, i feel the back get squirrely. No biggie, happens a lot. However, in front of me now is a muddy trough somebody dug with their tires on the side of the road. So, I cut immediately back to the right. Now shit gets real. Rear-end traction falls asleep on the job, and the back tires decide to try to overtake the front tires. I'm not on borad with this plan, so I start to correct. The back tires are persistent fuckers, and try to pass on the other side. I correct this way, as well, and then I see the tree. *Shit*. Now i'm fighting back to the right, and braking, which I know was stupid, but that's what i did. it was at that moment that I knew it was unavoidable. That tree was about to get its shit *wrecked*. **SLAM.** The right fender goes into the tree, and the whole truck pivots around that point. Now I'm facing backwards down the road, and I realize that the tree in fact won this battle. I exit the truck, and lock the door, out of habit. (This will be important later.) I survey the damage, and call my father, who took it better than I did. As we talk about calling roadside assistance, I go to read the number off of the inside the windshield, and realize the keys are still in the ignition. *Fuuuuck.* So, I crane my neck to get the number, and then wait about an hour and a half for the tow truck. When he arrives on scene, the first thing he says is "That frame's bent. The truck's probably totalled, man." Of-fucking-course it is. I find out on Monday.
Sorry about the delay, but here's the promised pics.
http://imgur.com/a/2aelo
TL;DR: shortest rally stage ever, finish line was a tree, and I won the stage.
EDIT: Pics. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU. Thought I was a rally driver. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/snjxj/tifu_thought_i_was_a_rally_driver/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | KingNoHeart | null | None | null | null | null | 1335240044 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | spfgd | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_spfgd | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/spfgd/tifu_by_forgetting_which_directory_i_was_in/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Thought I was in my garbage directory while I was testing out some cmd commands.
Ran: " DEL *.* "
Turns out I was in my Desktop folder, and Recuva says my missing files never existed.
Fuck. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by forgetting which directory I was in | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/spfgd/tifu_by_forgetting_which_directory_i_was_in/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | monicacpht3641 | null | None | null | null | null | 1335232562 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sp8k8 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sp8k8 | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sp8k8/tifu_by_accidentally_giving_myself_a_migraine/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 5 | null | null | I took some allergy medication for my god-awful allergies and didn't read the ingredients list. There was corn starch in the tablets, and all corn products trigger awful migraines for me. So of course I ended up with a horrible migraine all because of my stupidity. Now I feel like crap. Go me! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by accidentally giving myself a migraine. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sp8k8/tifu_by_accidentally_giving_myself_a_migraine/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | rappster123 | null | None | null | null | null | 1335393610 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ssjms | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ssjms | null | 15 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ssjms/tifu_i_met_a_really_awesome_girl_on_omegle_and/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 37 | null | null | Feels bad man. Me and my friends talked to her for a while. She was pretty cool and very attractive. But i fucking lost the email address. here is a bad picture (but the only picture i have) of her http://imgur.com/1OTiz | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU I met a really awesome girl on omegle and even got her email. Then i proceeded to close the tab with out saving the email address | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ssjms/tifu_i_met_a_really_awesome_girl_on_omegle_and/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | domiheyLA | null | None | null | null | null | 1335385660 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ssbzh | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ssbzh | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ssbzh/tifu_a_presentation_at_school/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | i had a presentation about a historical subject. we have to distribute a handout where the most important information is noted. smart as i am, i taught i could just read out the text i had ctrl+c-ctrl+v'ed the night before on the handout. didn't think about that the whole class and the teacher were able to read the presentation on the paper. in the end as i fucked up the last sentence the teacher said: "you made a reading mistake there". | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU a presentation at school | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ssbzh/tifu_a_presentation_at_school/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335357658 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | srnyt | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_srnyt | null | 30 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/srnyt/tifu_sent_a_crazy_bitch_email/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 49 | null | null | Today I sent a crazy bitch e-mail to someone I used to hook up with and was in the process of trying to befriend again after many months of not speaking. Let's just say it was multiple paragraphs. And maybe makes reference to how I felt "disrespected."
He now must think I am annoying and perhaps the craziest woman on the planet, but all I want more than anything is to just unsend the damn thing and move on. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU- sent a crazy bitch e-mail | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/srnyt/tifu_sent_a_crazy_bitch_email/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335353367 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | srlv6 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_srlv6 | null | 15 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/srlv6/tifu_i_thought_i_was_running_late_to_work_and/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 28 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU I thought I was running late to work and actually showed up an hour and a half early. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/srlv6/tifu_i_thought_i_was_running_late_to_work_and/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335344558 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | srijh | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_srijh | null | 8 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/srijh/tifu_i_forgot_to_attach_my_resume_to_my_email/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 9 | null | null | A perfect match for my profile. And I just went on and screwed it up.
What is the protocol now? It's an entry level position at an Engineering firm. Do I die a hundred deaths or is there someway I can salvage this job application?
Any advice? I'm all ears reddit!
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I forgot to attach my resume to my email cover letter. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/srijh/tifu_i_forgot_to_attach_my_resume_to_my_email/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | JakeyMumfie | null | None | null | null | null | 1335326529 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sr82b | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sr82b | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sr82b/tifu_as_a_member_of_radhd_by_finding/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I'm sorry, [/r/ADHD](/r/ADHD), but [/r/howtonotgiveafuck](/r/howtonotgiveafuck) appeals more to my procrastination. This is my problem. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU as a member of /r/ADHD, by finding /r/howtonotgiveafuck | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sr82b/tifu_as_a_member_of_radhd_by_finding/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Caprious | null | None | null | null | null | 1335326057 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sr7oc | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sr7oc | null | 7 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sr7oc/tifu_ramen_style/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 19 | null | null | I cooked Ramen noodles in the microwave. With no water. They caught fire. That's what I get for having other things on my mind. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU- Ramen style | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sr7oc/tifu_ramen_style/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | evolon | null | None | null | null | null | 1335322232 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sr452 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sr452 | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sr452/tifu_flushed_a_dogtoy_down_the_toilet/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 10 | null | null | My friend got a pit bull-husky mix, a little puppy named Rocky. I was over there with my little brother, and we were playing with the dog, when all of the sudden my brother [5 years old] has to go to the bathroom. In between the living room where we were and the kitchen was a door that opened into a small bathroom. My brother started peeing in there with the door open. The dog turns to run to investigate, and ends up watching my brother pee. TO get the puppy's attention, I threw his little corn squeaky toy at the dog. But I missed. It bounced off of the door frame, bounced off of the sink counter, then went into the toilet as my brother flushed. The toy got flushed down the toilet. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Flushed a dogtoy down the toilet. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sr452/tifu_flushed_a_dogtoy_down_the_toilet/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | iHeartButts | null | None | null | null | null | 1335318518 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sr0nc | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sr0nc | null | 14 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sr0nc/tifu_instead_of_writing_a_paper_thats_due/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 25 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Instead of writing a paper that's due tomorrow, I spent the afternoon looking at /r/pegging | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sr0nc/tifu_instead_of_writing_a_paper_thats_due/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | whiteside1013 | null | None | null | null | null | 1335312277 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | squpf | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_squpf | null | 72 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/squpf/tifu_i_cut_my_balls_while_shaving/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 126 | null | null | Sooooo much blood... | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU- I cut my balls while shaving. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/squpf/tifu_i_cut_my_balls_while_shaving/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335484478 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | suff0 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_suff0 | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/suff0/tifu_by_being_friendly_a_older_woman_coworker_so/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | And my reaction was quite... brutal shall we say. I'm honest to the core and I don't think it did me good this time. She was kind of crying when I left her.. I just didn't think of her that way, she's divorced and has a child (and a boyfriend). Well, I fucked up my job environment again. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by being friendly a older woman co-worker so she tried to kiss me. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/suff0/tifu_by_being_friendly_a_older_woman_coworker_so/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335478227 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | su9wn | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_su9wn | null | 26 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/su9wn/tifu_i_peed_in_the_womens_dressing_room/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 72 | null | null | Yes, I peed in the women's dressing room at Burlington.
I felt the urge to use the restroom once I got there, but I never like asking people if they have restrooms, and I didn't bother looking. Thinking I could hold it in while I tried on a few clothes, I started to do the "pee dance" and thought to myself 'Ha, wouldn't it be funny if I just peed in here?', then it got worse- I couldn't hold it anymore, so I took my pants and undies off, squatted, and had the longest, most shameful pee of my life. I stayed in there for about an hour, hoping the huge stain would dry up, but it didn't.. I waited until the coast was clear, booked it, and went over to the cash register to pay for my stuff. As I was waiting, I heard the speaker go on, asking for assistance in the lady's dressing room. I assumed it was for that reason..
I feel so embarrassed, Reddit. I really hope no one knew it was me.
This is a throwaway account, by the way. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I peed in the women's dressing room | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/su9wn/tifu_i_peed_in_the_womens_dressing_room/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | SpartaWillBurn | null | None | null | null | null | 1335472495 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | su4ju | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_su4ju | null | 63 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/su4ju/tifu_asked_a_fat_girl_if_she_was_pregnant/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 180 | null | null | Yikes. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Asked a fat girl if she was pregnant. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/su4ju/tifu_asked_a_fat_girl_if_she_was_pregnant/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | blahblahblah10 | null | None | null | null | null | 1335470634 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | su2pz | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_su2pz | null | 18 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/su2pz/tifu_i_completely_missed_a_narwhal_call_from_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 35 | null | null | Yep. Completely ignored it. Why? I don't know. I'm an idiot.
I quipped about a couple other things....but fuck. Totally fucked up. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU I completely missed a Narwhal call from a potential employer. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/su2pz/tifu_i_completely_missed_a_narwhal_call_from_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Thornar68 | null | None | null | null | null | 1335465619 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sty24 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sty24 | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sty24/tifu_by_leaving_my_keys_in_the_ignition_of_my/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 16 | null | null | Went to the platform a few minutes early, had a cigarette and went into work. An hour later when I reach in my pocket for my lighter I realize my keys aren't there. I called my friend and had him go and get them out, thankfully my truck was still there. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by leaving my keys in the ignition of my truck at the light rail station | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sty24/tifu_by_leaving_my_keys_in_the_ignition_of_my/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | theyll_never_find_me | null | None | null | null | null | 1335431068 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | stbgj | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_stbgj | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/stbgj/tifu_tonights_venture_into_the_forest_didnt_end/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Throwaway for obvious reasons.
Wound up rollin' a fatty with the boys, uni security caught us, busted us, almost reported us but softened last-minute. They (my bros) were fine soon after but it took me down pretty damned quick. Glad shit didn't get too real; small campus and people know I'm a musician.
TL;DR Security rolled up when we were "foresting", too close a shave for comfort | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Tonight's venture into the forest didn't end well... | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/stbgj/tifu_tonights_venture_into_the_forest_didnt_end/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335429485 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | stavu | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_stavu | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/stavu/tifu_i_got_myself_blocked_by_jack_mackenroth/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Jack Mackenroth is a decorated swimmer, model, Project Runway contestant, and HIV+ advocate. His tweets consist mainly of jokes about him shitting on something, putting something in his ass, or whatever else yuck or provocative. I tweeted jokes about his HIV status, he laughed. I tweeted something I can't remember about wanted to fuck him, I'm blocked. Double standard? I think so. This bothers me way more than it should...we were just getting along so well. Anyway, thought I'd share. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I got myself blocked by Jack Mackenroth. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/stavu/tifu_i_got_myself_blocked_by_jack_mackenroth/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | kingproz | null | None | null | null | null | 1335419559 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | st66b | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_st66b | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/st66b/tifu_and_got_too_drunk/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 4 | null | null | I'll start by saying that, in many regards, last night was a raging success.
I'm in college and generally do a lot of drinking, but my spring break was two weeks ago, which involved me vacationing in Florida with my family and not drinking. Since that, I've been pretty busy with school etc. so I've been away from alcohol for roughly two weeks...except for last night.
Monday was my birthday, and since I like to party a bit, naturally that was a big deal for me. Unfortunately, nobody wanted to go out on a Monday, so I was forced to stow my need to rage until Tuesday (last night).
My friends in a fraternity that I plan on joining next year told me that they were having a pregame for the bar and told me to come, so I did. We did some drinking at one of their houses and were broken up by the cops, so we headed to the bar.
At the bar, we continued to drink and I continued to drink as if I had never taken my "tolerance break," which in hindsight was probably a bad idea. I drank three pitchers of beer at the bar on top of several cups of skippy jungle juice (main ingredients: beer and vodka).
My last memory is buying the third pitcher of beer. This morning I woke up sitting up straight on a futon that belongs to the girl I've been hooking up with lately, soaking wet in what I was wearing last night. It took me only a minute to realize why I was wet, I guess my bladder was not prepared for the amount of liquid it would have to bear. So, covered in piss, I run back to my room (we live in the same dorm house), change into something drier and grab a towel. I go back to my girl's room and start desperately trying to dry the puddle I had left on her futon, with little success. I hear her moving around in her bed, still asleep, and decide to just leave it. I start to feel relieved now that I have dealt with my crisis, thinking that was the extent of my damage.
I crawl into bed with my girl and start to doze off, and then I remember to ask: "what happened last night?" I have yet to get the full story (I'll let you guys know what I find out), but apparently I came to her room around 1230am and she let me in. We were hooking up, and somehow I managed to convince her that I was sober enough to have sex with her...for the first time. Now, I like this girl and I've been making moves towards a long-term relationship with her, so I wanted our first time to be somewhat special, or at least sober. Obviously it being special was not so important while I was blacked out, so did it. This is the part where I'm not sure what happened, but I can guess. I've been doing r/NoFap for a few weeks now, and I have worried that it would cause me to orgasm too soon. The way my girl explained it to me is that "you couldn't really call it sex," I'm pretty sure I had something along the lines of an orgasm upon penetration, despite the "whiskey dick" you would think I'd have. As if this isn't embarrassing enough, I ended our little session by running to the bathroom and throwing up for the next hour, and passing out on her futon once I'd finished.
**TL;DR** I got super drunk, pissed myself, busted a nut far too soon and threw up. Avoid tolerance breaks and r/NoFap. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU and got too drunk | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/st66b/tifu_and_got_too_drunk/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335417364 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | st4qu | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_st4qu | null | 22 | null | True | null | /r/tifu/comments/st4qu/tifu_by_getting_my_junk_bit_nsfw/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 8 | null | null | This is my cousin using my Reddit account--
So basically I was having sex with this girl and she was giving me a blowjob. Okay, nothing strange there. However, while she was doing that her dog (who hates my guts) bit her in the ass and caused her to bite my dick! Blood; everywhere; still can't pee properly. I got mad at the dog and attempted to kick it, but she stopped me and said it was my fault! She has not talked to me since. And by the way, try peeing, with a fucking triple stream, every fucking time you pee! It hurts like hell too and is completely swollen. Yeah, I fucked up, big time. Did I mention one of the condoms broke? | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by getting my junk bit. NSFW | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/st4qu/tifu_by_getting_my_junk_bit_nsfw/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | HealthyandHappy | null | None | null | null | null | 1335417291 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | st4p1 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_st4p1 | null | 14 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/st4p1/tifu_tried_to_walk_up_a_flight_of_stairs_to_poop/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 40 | null | null | Today was the first day by which I was permitted to get a shower, and I was hell bent on getting rid of the smell of ass and dried blood that has accumulated over my body since surgery.
The problem with this is that all of the showers/bath tubs are on the second floor, and I am an incredibly poor crutch user. My options were to wait for my sister to come home and help me, call someone to come and help, or do it on my own. I, in a percocet fueled stint of courage decided that I can accomplish this and clean my ass of the stank that infests it.
As I approached the stairs, I had no fear. Two steps in, however, and the stair summit began to look like [this](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4b/Everest_kalapatthar_crop.jpg)
10 minutes later I complete my journey and feel as if I made this [guy](http://www.yourdiscovery.com/dni-media/photogallery-tool/mu-16/media-28030-98257.jpg) look like a filthy casual. I go to celebrate my victory by spending time with the [throne](http://www.worldofkitsch.com/objects/images/home_bathroom_toilet.jpg) that I've been unable to rule over since surgery.
While laying claim to my throne I look over and notice that I am about to suffer a fate worse than the [black death](http://blog.toiletpaperworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/no-toilet-paper.jpg). Do I try to get up and venture to the other bathroom in my search of paper gold, or do I convert to Islam for 5 minutes and clean myself up? I try calling a friend of mine to explain the situation, but he refused to pick up his phone. I ended up having to leave a voice message, which I wish I could upload on here. I decide to take the risk of finding toilet paper in the other bathroom, and am rewarded for taking said risk.
Being freshly pooped and wiped, I decide that it is time to take my bath. While filling the tub I debate what my technique for getting into the tub will be, and I decide on doing the reverse of [this](http://www.irvinehousingblog.com/images/made/images/uploads/200973/belly-flop_300_272.jpg). My form was flawless, and I managed to get into the tub without getting my surgical knee excessively wet.
After cleaning up, I realize that there's absolutely no way I'm getting out of this bath tub. I end up having to call my sister and letting her know the situation. She is not happy, but at least she's not the one in [this](http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRabUhM6J-1gB4bLz8x64tHco4_z9dTSzjmPnzgeFzx2p3GwpkcKCdTS40O) situation.
She comes home, and throws me a pair of my swim trunks telling me to put them on before she'll help me out of the tub. I tell her that there's no way I could get them on over the brace, and being the ass that I am make a joke about how I at least look good naked. She has a nasty temper and is upset enough that she decided to leave me in the bath tub.
Two hours later I decide that my only options are to make an escape, or call an ambulance. I should mention that this entire process thus far has taken 4-5 hours, and the effects of my percocets are wearing off. Knowing that I need to make it to my happy pills before they wear off, I attempt to make my [escape](http://blog.oregonlive.com/ent_impact_tvfilm/2008/04/harold-kumar.jpg).
I put all my strength into lifting my gimp body out of the shower, and manage to fall onto the floor. I realize that I forgot to bring a towel, and the only towels are downstairs in the laundry room. Knowing that I don't have the strength to lift myself up, I do a butt crawl across the floor, naked and soaking wet. My sister wasn't kind enough to let me know beforehand that when she came home she brought friends over, As they stare at me, I attempt to make a glamour [pose](http://dontweightaround.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/fat_lady.jpg)... It is about as flattering as the image I associated it with. I've also not engaged in any sort of penile pleasure, even masturbatory since my last girlfriend, as my heart is still sore. Because of this, I'm dealing with [this more than a viagra addict](http://farm5.staticflickr.com/4067/4532853252_22d27e8642.jpg).
Eventually, I butt bounce my way down the stairs, make it to the laundry room, dry up, and return to my couch kingdom that I have built. As terrible as the whole situation was, I'm feeling like [this guy right now](http://www.shadowandact.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/isaiah_mustafa_old_spice_scene.jpg). I then reward myself with narcotics and call it a day.
Moral of the story? [Fuck hygiene](http://biologicalphotography.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/dirty-man.jpg)
Edit-TLDR: Got knee surgery, crutched up the stairs so that I could poop and shower in my bathroom. Bathroom was out of toilet paper, and then I got stuck in the shower. Forgot to bring a towel so I had to butt crawl across my house while my sister and her friends were here. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Tried to walk up a flight of stairs to poop and get a bath by myself one week after knee surgery. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/st4p1/tifu_tried_to_walk_up_a_flight_of_stairs_to_poop/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Meme666 | null | None | null | null | null | 1335407562 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sswdf | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sswdf | null | 47 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sswdf/tifu_when_i_got_blood_all_over_a_250_year_old/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 121 | null | null | I cut my fingers on the sharp edge of raw plexie glass while reframing it, didn't notice, and when I put the art back in the frame I was wondering if those red smears were always there and then it hit me... | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU when I got blood all over a 250 year old piece of fine art. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sswdf/tifu_when_i_got_blood_all_over_a_250_year_old/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | studio595 | null | None | null | null | null | 1335406103 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ssv43 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ssv43 | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ssv43/tifu_made_myself_a_teriyaki_rice_bowl_went_to/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 8 | null | null | Ruined a perfectly good teriyaki bowl with this fuck up.
I have a little stash of condiments that I save after I go somewhere. I thought I grabbed soy sauce, only to realize I grabbed mayonaise (that expired a year ago). Gagged from the smell and nearly threw up.
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Made myself a teriyaki rice bowl, went to grab soy sauce, instead grabbed a packet of old mayonaise. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ssv43/tifu_made_myself_a_teriyaki_rice_bowl_went_to/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335403826 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sssy6 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sssy6 | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sssy6/tifu_by_sending_my_mortgage_payment_to_a_credit/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Actually, I just found out today when the bank called to complain about the late payment. I logged on to bill pay and saw where I sent my $1500 mortgage payment to a credit card that I don't have a balance on. Luckily, they are both divisions of Wells Fargo so they can do some internal accounting voodoo to credit the right account. Anyone else pulled a similar FU? | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by sending my mortgage payment to a credit card company. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sssy6/tifu_by_sending_my_mortgage_payment_to_a_credit/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335399828 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sspbc | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sspbc | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sspbc/tifu_by_accidentally_letting_my_professor_know/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I sat in the back of class and decided to unleash my largest wave of sarcasm upon those sitting around me. I talked about the “wonders” of this class and all the “surprises” our “glorious” professor would bring to us today. Unfortunately, she popped up out of nowhere and caught the tail end of my rant. Whoops… | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by accidentally letting my professor know how I feel about her bullshit class and banal personality. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sspbc/tifu_by_accidentally_letting_my_professor_know/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | digitalixus | null | None | null | null | null | 1335398471 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sso6e | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sso6e | null | 18 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sso6e/tifu_i_hit_the_curb_at_10_mph_am_i_going_to_be/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Ran around town doing errands from car shopping to grocery shopping using my friend's car today. After 3 hours, I was at my last stop: to get my hair cut. Decided to drop by Mcdonalds since I was so hungry and tired; day dreaming while parking, I accidentally ran into the curb at some 10-15 mph.
It was high enough for the car to not go over but the car did bounce a little and I got the shock of my life. Even the guy getting out in the car next to me was like 'rough landing huh?'. I've never ran into anything before and I'm a very paranoid person. Any idea if being jerked forwards slightly at that speed is okay for my body? My paranoid brain is starting to nitpick for any weird feelings in my body and blame it on that.
I was alone while my friend went off somewhere. I returned the car to him with a poker face without mentioning my embarrassing hopeless parking incident. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU I hit the curb at 10 mph, am I going to be okay? | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sso6e/tifu_i_hit_the_curb_at_10_mph_am_i_going_to_be/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | tomnatsworthy33 | null | None | null | null | null | 1335556115 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | svrc2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_svrc2 | null | 7 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/svrc2/tifu_punched_an_innocent_man/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 5 | null | null | dd | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Punched an Innocent Man | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/svrc2/tifu_punched_an_innocent_man/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335552625 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | svocr | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_svocr | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/svocr/person_walking_near_me_dont_i_know_you_from/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | Me: \*In a rush to get to work with a coffee in one hand and piece of bread in another* "Um... I don't know. Maybe around [other building name] oh hey thanks for the door. Have a great day man!"
\*At work* "That was kind of a weird conver-...oh. Wait... goddammit." | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Person walking near me: "Don't I know you from somewhere?" | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/svocr/person_walking_near_me_dont_i_know_you_from/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | marrio91 | null | None | null | null | null | 1335548936 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | svl5v | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_svl5v | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/svl5v/for_myself_later_forgot_flashdrive/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | FOR MYSELF LATER (forgot flashdrive) | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/svl5v/for_myself_later_forgot_flashdrive/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | wintertash | null | None | null | null | null | 1335543828 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | svgvu | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_svgvu | null | 19 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/svgvu/tifu_criticized_a_gay_marriage_ad_that_everyone/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 35 | null | null | I'm a blogger for one of the big LGBT politics and culture blogs. I wrote a pretty harsh critique of a new UK gay marriage ad that I didn't like, only to find that I'm apparently the only queer person on *the planet* who felt that way. I wrote it when tired and may not have explained my points all that well, so now people who've read it think I'm either an idiot or have no heart.
EDIT: spelling | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU Criticized a Gay Marriage Ad That Everyone Loves | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/svgvu/tifu_criticized_a_gay_marriage_ad_that_everyone/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | MurrayL | null | None | null | null | null | 1335542271 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | svfjj | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_svfjj | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/svfjj/tifu_topped_up_my_glass_of_vimto_with_some_cold/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I just wanted a nice, cool glass of [Vimto](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vimto) (a squash/cordial popular in the UK). I meant to grab the water filter from inside the fridge to top it up with, but my brain decided I should grab milk instead.
Took me a good few seconds before I realised I was now staring at a cup full of disgusting, curdled purple/cream-coloured crap. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Topped up my glass of Vimto with some cold milk. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/svfjj/tifu_topped_up_my_glass_of_vimto_with_some_cold/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | ImNotElric | null | None | null | null | null | 1335510412 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | suz4t | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_suz4t | null | 16 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/suz4t/tifu_noticed_halfway_home_i_had_a_flat_tire/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 24 | null | null | So I was at a friend's house and decided to come back home, it was already about 1am and I just wanted to get to my house and chill, when I noticed I had a flat tire.... I thought it wasn't bad at all and just kept pushing home instead of changing it; when I got home I realized that the tire was irreparable from my rolling it flat and I'm going to have to get a new one this weekend D: luckily I have a spare tire which actually works, so I'm good for now | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU... noticed halfway home I had a flat tire, decided to "fuck it, I can make it", realized the tire was destroyed when I finally arrived. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/suz4t/tifu_noticed_halfway_home_i_had_a_flat_tire/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | wants_to_understand | null | None | null | null | null | 1335503748 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | suv8v | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_suv8v | null | 14 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/suv8v/tifu_ordered_8_gb_ram_for_my_new_rig_turns_out/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 37 | null | null | I don't know how I derped this hard. ROOKIE MISTAKE | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Ordered 8 gb RAM for my new rig. Turns out it's laptop RAM | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/suv8v/tifu_ordered_8_gb_ram_for_my_new_rig_turns_out/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335500371 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | susxz | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_susxz | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/susxz/tifu_i_met_a_really_cool_british_guy_in_vegas_and/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 8 | null | null | I met a really cool guy in Vegas, but opted for whatever reason to not leave my phone number or anything else. Even if he never took the opportunity to contact me, Im regretting that I never gave it the chance. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU.. I met a really cool british guy in Vegas and now I dont have any way of contacting him. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/susxz/tifu_i_met_a_really_cool_british_guy_in_vegas_and/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | ragefrox | null | None | null | null | null | 1335499320 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sus60 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sus60 | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sus60/tifu_didnt_turn_the_gas_on_for_the_ovens_at_work/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 14 | null | null | So, today I had the opening shift at the restaurant I work in. I'm a prep/line cook, so I should know how to work everything in my kitchen, yes? Well, I thought I did anyway. My supervisor usually opens with me and is pretty much always already there when I come in (we're a bit slack on sign ins as long as it's not obnoxious), so I usually never have to be the one to turn everything on. But today, it was just me and one of the new guys for the first hour.
I thought everything was going well, except the chickens in the oven wasn't cooking at all. In fact, the oven wasn't even hot!
I checked the dials and the fan switch, but couldn't figure out the problem. After fiddling around a bit, I suddenly came across a small switch near the bottom. The gas.
So, I ended up putting our prep behind 45 minutes. And had to explain to my supervisor why we weren't completely ready for service by the time he came in.
I got a written warning and got treated like an idiot all shift. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU... didn't turn the gas on for the ovens at work, and tried to cook food anyway | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sus60/tifu_didnt_turn_the_gas_on_for_the_ovens_at_work/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335495829 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | supcd | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_supcd | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/supcd/tifu_i_did_one_of_those_things_only_complete/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | While playing Minecraft..I died in fullbody diamond armour... | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I did one of those things only complete idiots could manage to do.. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/supcd/tifu_i_did_one_of_those_things_only_complete/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335622067 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | swryj | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_swryj | null | 21 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/swryj/tifu_i_unknowingly_took_my_neighbours_dog_to_the/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 85 | null | null | My dog was barking madly, so I took a look outside and found this gorgeous but thin dog trying to play with my fella. He was friendly and sweet, so I fed him a bit of dog food and a drink of water. Because we have a lot of dogs and cats being dropped in my neighbourhood which borders farmland, I assumed this was the case. It turns out he lives two doors down and I should probably go outside more often.
Edit Update: I can happily report that dog and family were reunited on Friday. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU -I unknowingly took my neighbour's dog to the SPCA. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/swryj/tifu_i_unknowingly_took_my_neighbours_dog_to_the/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | ThrowawayTifu | null | None | null | null | null | 1335617477 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | swq1a | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_swq1a | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/swq1a/tifu_by_calling_my_current_boyfriend_by_my/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | I haven't slept much in 2 days because of work and I took a pill to help me get to sleep. Then I said "I love you [ex-boyfriend's name]!" he says he understands because of the context, but I really don't understand how his can not destroy the fabric of our relationship... By the way, I hate using names because I'm alway terrified I'll do this type of stuff. Stupid names ;) | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by calling my current boyfriend by my ex-boyfriend's name when telling him I love him.. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/swq1a/tifu_by_calling_my_current_boyfriend_by_my/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | imawaffle | null | None | null | null | null | 1335604243 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | swm9a | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_swm9a | null | 116 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/swm9a/tifu_timight_havefu_i_led_my_best_friends_mom_on/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 119 | null | null | I guess, being that it's 4 in the morning, this happened yesterday. Anyways, I seen my best friend's mom the day before yesterday. Hung out for a while (she's like a second mom to me). We talked. Talked about her failing relationship. Mine. Life. Jobs. Etc. Catch up stuff. Well yesterday she texted me. "What are you doing?" I was working, and simply told her what I was doing. Next message: "Well this is wierd! I'm attracted to you!"
I thought she was joking. I said "Haha. Well, to be completely honest, I don't know how to respond to that".. It escalated. I'm not gonna give you a run down of everything, unless it's really necessary. Long story short, she starts getting sexual, asking things like "I can only imagine what it feels like to kiss those lips." I stopped texting back. I have re read all those messages a hundred times, and just don't see what the hell happened. I call a friend, and she was like "She's totally a MILF! Go for it! She's hot as hell for a 40 year old."
Well, what the shit? I'm not going to fuck my best friend's mom (thought about it, to be honest, but I'm not the type to do that). And tomorrow (today) I'm going back over there (had plans), and don't know what to expect.
Couldn't go without telling Reddit. :P
**TL;DR: Best friend's mom apparently wants me. Sent slightly sexual(intimate) messages. What the hell just happened?**
EDIT: For all of those that are curious, I will be updating sometime tonight. I see her in about 5 hours. I don't have internet on the go, so I won't be able to update for about 7.
And don't worry HBNichols. I got your back.
UPDATE: Okay, so this is a really late update. I apologize. I had no access to the internet at their house.
So apparently she does this to all of my friend's friends. She goes around sleeping with them. My friend's boyfriend even. I've known her 10 years, and never knew that.
Many apologies were had, and I told her it was no problem. I'm sorry guys. I know you were all hoping for a big "Omg! We fucked and it was awesome" story, But I couldn't do it. It'd be like sleeping with my mom. Just not gonna happen. Anyways, she apologized. And we moved on. My friend's twins are here, so it's been pretty busy. Not a whole lot of time to sit and talk about it or anything. Just kinda pretending it didn't happen.
If something does happen (still possible), I'll be sure to update, or post a new post so all of those curious will be able to find out. Any questions regarding, comment. I'll get around to it. Going to a March Of Dimes in a few, so don't expect a response right away, but I'll make sure to get around to answering all your questions or whatever. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: TI(might have)FU: I led my best friend's mom on without realizing it.. Still don't understand what I did. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/swm9a/tifu_timight_havefu_i_led_my_best_friends_mom_on/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | asnof | null | None | null | null | null | 1335597011 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | swjt8 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_swjt8 | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/swjt8/tifu_i_submitted_a_fuckup_in_this_subreddit_but/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 14 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU I submitted a fuckup in this subreddit but it got removed due to formatting. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/swjt8/tifu_i_submitted_a_fuckup_in_this_subreddit_but/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | iloveyou_lastchance | null | None | null | null | null | 1335594651 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | swiqr | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_swiqr | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/swiqr/tifu_i_might_lose_my_girlfriend_who_i_love_with/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | We had a fight which seemed like nothing but apparently it isn't. We have a tonne of fun together. We both love each other.
She really is my everything, I love everything about her and I hate when I'm grumpy like this. I hate myself for even the thought of losing her.
The thought of going downstairs and she isn't there just breaks me up.
She is coming home today and she says she still loves me. So I hope it is good news.
Can anyone please give me any help or advice to help me keep her?
I've tried spilling and breaking my heart to her but apparently it might not be enough. I don't know what else I can do to show and or tell her.
p.s She went out to have some space with some friends. I've done as best as I can and I've not texted her in 12+ hours to give her a break. I really hope it works out in my favour.
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU! I might lose my girlfriend who I love with all of my heart because I need to calm down a little and trust her more. PLEASE HELP. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/swiqr/tifu_i_might_lose_my_girlfriend_who_i_love_with/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | JusCallMeCyn | null | None | null | null | null | 1335592390 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | swhnp | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_swhnp | null | 14 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/swhnp/tifu_by_forgetting_to_throw_away_the_64_ounce/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 37 | null | null | It exploded. Proof? K. It's a webcam picture but that's all I have right now, and honestly, I'm a wee bit too pissed off to take more pictures. I will tomorrow, and I might update this. Maybe.
http://i.imgur.com/rUn7n.jpg
Keep in mind that's a picture of about a four foot space.
The next few days should be FUN cleaning this up. :)
**Edit, I also forgot how to measure today. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by forgetting to throw away the 64 ounce bottle of grape juice that's been sitting in my room for about a month. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/swhnp/tifu_by_forgetting_to_throw_away_the_64_ounce/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | asnof | null | None | null | null | null | 1335573593 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sw5be | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sw5be | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sw5be/lnifu_i_missed_an_opportunity_to_get_laid_from_my/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | LNIFU I missed an opportunity to get laid from my best friend. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sw5be/lnifu_i_missed_an_opportunity_to_get_laid_from_my/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | CiaccoRocco | null | None | null | null | null | 1335720801 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | syd1d | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_syd1d | null | 14 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/syd1d/tifu_a_series_of_misfortunate_events/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 65 | null | null | This happened a bit back, but here it goes:
I commute to school, and its about a 15 - 20 minute drive from where I live. One day I was really low on cash and had to put gas in my car, so I put what I thought would be enough to get one more trip back and forth before I can get paid and fill it up properly. I made it there no problem, and was about 1/4 of a mile away from my exit on the highway when the car sputtered and died. I pulled over to the shoulder and went over my options. Decided that I could walk to the gas station, get a gallons worth and everything would be fine. Well, I get out of the car and realize that I didn't want to walk that far. Mind you, its raining at this time. So I go to go back in my car, and the door is locked with the keys in the ignition. After about 15 minutes a stranger pulls up in his truck and without saying a word produces a gas can and goes to fill up my car when I stop him because...my gas tank cover has a lock because I had my gas siphoned a few times and the key for that is with the others in my car. Parents finally came to help me out, and spilled gasoline all over me and the car.
TL;DR Had no gas for 16 mile trip, ran out on parkway, locked self out of car in rain, declined a strangers help because the gas tank was locked, got gasoline accidentally poured all over me by parents | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: A series of misfortunate events | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/syd1d/tifu_a_series_of_misfortunate_events/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | BeavMcloud | null | None | null | null | null | 1335679103 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sxv6s | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sxv6s | null | 29 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sxv6s/tifu_a_simple_responsibility_gone_terribly_wrong/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 31 | null | null | This happened yesterday. I didn't have enough time to post yesterday, so here it goes. Also, note that I'm only fourteen.
I had to watch over my uncle's house for a day until (what I thought to be) around noon. It was a simple task. My only responsibility was to lock the door to the garage and lock the door in the garage that leads inside the house. I woke up at 9:30 (long week, had to sleep in). Me, being stupid, mindlessly decided to lock the doors already even though I had three hours to do so. I picked up the key and placed it in my pocket. For some idiotic reason, I took the key out and put it on a table RIGHT next to the door. I opened the door, and went to go lock the other door at the far end of the garage. I went back to find the door had closed behind me. The key. My cell phone. My change of clothes. Everything was ripped away from me. The door... was somehow locked. I blame it on ghosts.
So here I was, in cold Indiana weather, freezing my ass off in a garage. Note that I was wearing just shorts and a t-shirt. I tried my best to pick the lock of the door, but I failed. This shit went on for an hour at least. I decided to UNLOCK the other door of the garage and go outside to find another way in. I made sure to keep a stopper on the door in case the ghosts strike again... Except... They did.
I came back, and now this door had somehow shut behind me. "FUCK!" I thought. "SHIT!" I said. I ran to the last safe haven available: the barn. I got inside the barn (luckily the fucking door wasn't locked), and sat in one spot for another hour. By the way, I was starting to get a cold, and swallowing snot from a runny nose can result in full-on sickness, so every chance I had, I spit a big ole' nasty snotwad on the ground.
Back to the story. I didn't even know what the time was. Was it eleven o'clock? Eleven-thirty? Noon? I had no idea. It was still cold. Colder, actually. I was now starting to panic (I stayed very calm prior to this believe it or not). I started to talk to myself and spoke a very depressing monologue that made me realize what a fucking dumbass I was. I should've written that shit down. Poetry, it was.
So, it was probably about noon-ish, and my ballsack looked like a dried raisin. Actual size, too. I needed heat. I decided to run back to the house and look for an entry.
Bam. I finally found one. The basement door. LOCKED, DAMMIT! It was a double-door. I tried and tried again to bash them open. Close I was, but to no avail. Finally, I rushed that shit, and my asshole became loose with the feeling of bliss. It was open. Barely.
To make my morning worse, these doors had three locks! The standard lock, the kind you find on dog cages, and the kind you find on hotel doors. I broke through the standard and "dog cage" locks, but the "hotel" lock wasn't phased. There was no possible way I was breaking through that. Then I realized I just broke my uncle's door. Shit.
Still locked out, hopeless, my mom came in the nick of time. Bitch came an hour late! One o'clock! Oh well, I was jubilant just to see another person. We went home, and I've decided to leave this day behind and erase it from my memory. Reddit will be only the place to find my story. Thank you for reading about my shit day.
TL;DR: had to lock doors, ghosts, locked out of house, no key, no phone, cold weather, raisin nutsack, four hours, got home. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: A simple responsibility gone terribly wrong. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sxv6s/tifu_a_simple_responsibility_gone_terribly_wrong/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | zenmaru13 | null | None | null | null | null | 1335670548 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sxpwb | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sxpwb | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sxpwb/tifu_on_behalf_of_my_japanese_teacher_she_was/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | This is for my japanese teacher, who isn't a redditor. Basically, she was gonna take my japanese class (of 2 people) on a field trip to a japanese importer, and due to a messed up phone number, didn't come to pick us up until 3, when she was supposed to pick us up at 11. We still went and had a good time, but we had to wait a while. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU on behalf of my japanese teacher, she was gonna take my japanese class on a field trip, and came 5 hours late | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sxpwb/tifu_on_behalf_of_my_japanese_teacher_she_was/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | lacabra | null | None | null | null | null | 1335827020 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | t0k2y | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t0k2y | null | 8 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t0k2y/tifu_and_screwed_up_an_application_really/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 25 | null | null | Today my girlfriend asked me to edit her application essay for a major business case competition. I edited it but in the essay included a comment about her being diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome (which she wasn't; I was just being immature). I assumed she'd read through it and find it, but instead she just submitted it right away. Now she's ridiculously upset and crying like anything. This competition is extremely important to her, and what's worse is that she's competed in it this year and already knows the people in charge of it. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU and screwed up an application really important to my girlfriend. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t0k2y/tifu_and_screwed_up_an_application_really/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335822522 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | t0fl7 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t0fl7 | null | 24 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t0fl7/tifu_i_punched_someone_and_broke_my_hand/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 92 | null | null | I have this friend seems to have some kind of inferiority complex, he has a need to show dominance towards everybody else, which isn't hard considering he weighs 50 kg more than everybody else with a matching height. Well he started punching people and after I had asked him to stop several times with no luck, I punched him as hard as I could, hurting only myself. Found out after about 12 hours of pain in my hand that it was broken. Bright side:he stopped. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU I punched someone and broke my hand. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t0fl7/tifu_i_punched_someone_and_broke_my_hand/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | CatchAGrenade | null | None | null | null | null | 1335804610 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | szybj | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_szybj | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/szybj/tifu_my_troll_account_has_more_karma_than_my_real/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Reddit, How do I not fail at trolling? And by not failing at trolling, i mean stop suceeding at trolling?
Help a poor bastard out, wont ya?
Unless you're all trolls...
OSHI- | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU, My troll account has more karma than my real account | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/szybj/tifu_my_troll_account_has_more_karma_than_my_real/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | HeadxDMC | null | None | null | null | null | 1335801833 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | szvwz | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_szvwz | null | 12 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/szvwz/tifu_i_joined_a_sub_that_i_thought_would_be_funny/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 9 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I joined a sub that I thought would be funny anecdotes about FML experiences | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/szvwz/tifu_i_joined_a_sub_that_i_thought_would_be_funny/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | imnotsure123 | null | None | null | null | null | 1335778830 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | szj8a | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_szj8a | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/szj8a/tifu_might_have_sounded_racist/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | So me and my friends were all joking around and eventually one asks do you still live with my parents i say yes and because im embarrassed i keep going and say i cant find a job because im black(obviously not black). I pause and everyone keeps talking. I am no way racist i hate when people say the N word. Im not sure if i should apologize or not. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU. Might have sounded racist?? | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/szj8a/tifu_might_have_sounded_racist/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335772662 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | szh06 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_szh06 | null | 63 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/szh06/tifu_and_lost_a_75_cent_promotion_at_work/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 56 | null | null | Yesterday I got offered the Key Carrier promotion at work (gas station) which includes a guaranteed 35 hour week and 8.50 an hour pay rate. I could have moved out of my parents house and started my own life but it required a drug test which I couldn't pass (marijuana). Long story short, I turned down the offer to keep my job and am now drunk.
**Edit:** I also rage quit smoking after the fact. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU and lost a 75 cent promotion at work. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/szh06/tifu_and_lost_a_75_cent_promotion_at_work/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | sadi89 | null | None | null | null | null | 1335763117 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | szbwh | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_szbwh | null | 21 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/szbwh/tifu/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 35 | null | null | On Thursday (in this case TIFU stands for Thursday I Fucked Up) I was feeling low. I had lost my university card which give me access to my dorm and more importantly food. I was also low on cash. I bought a sandwich for lunch at noon and ate half of it then and saved the other half for dinner.
Dinner time roles around (about 8:30 pm) so i take my sandwich up to my friends room a long with a large quantity of wine, not intending to drink all of it. I start drinking on my way up the stairs. I get to my friends room see that she's asleep and since I can't talk to her about how shitty I feel I decide the next best thing would be to drink more. At this point I am drinking on an empty stomach, while on meds that increase the effects of alcohol, and I have blood sugar issues (when it gets low I want to kill myself). Within five minutes all the wine is gone...so I decide the best thing to do is not to eat my sandwich but rather, down a beer that I'd been keeping my friends fridge.
When I find that I am suddenly out of alcohol I decide it's time to get more wine from my room which is down two flights of stairs. So I stubble down the stairs while on the phone with one of my friends. Once in my room I take off my shirt and sit down so I can continue telling phone friend about how much I enjoyed having anal sex with him. When I look down I see that my boobs are covered in blood. My nose was bleeding. So I hang up the phone, get more wine and go back to my friends room shirtless and covered in blood. I mange to drink about half of my remaining supply before my friend wakes up and takes me to the bathroom to clean me up.
In the bathroom I roll on the floor (still shirtless) and tell everyone I see that I'm sorry for being so drunk and that I hate myself.
As I slowly sober up it becomes apparent that I got blood on absolutely everything. When I woke up the next morning I was wayyy too hung over to go to my favorite class.
TL;DR: Got super drunk, got a nose bleed, got blood all over EVERYTHING and ran around my dorm in just my bra telling absolutely everyone that I hate myself | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/szbwh/tifu/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Roilvn | null | None | null | null | null | 1335759854 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sz9kv | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sz9kv | null | 30 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sz9kv/tifu_nothing_like_an_accidental_suicide/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 38 | null | null | So Friday night, I went out drinking. A few people from work where throwing a rap show so I went. After 3 or 4 or 5 or 9 bowls, and 1/2 to 99% of a gallon of apple pie, a beer, and half a bottle of vodka chugged. I threw up my stomach. One of my friends gave me a ride home and I made it inside to sleep. Before i did i drank a bunch of water and then took some tylonal. Sadly what i thought was a pain reveler was really 4 times my does for my sleep meds. That plus a stomach full of alcohol and no food. I don't remember the night but i answered my phone three times, as well as texted, and was two and a half hours late to work.
All that and I was recovering from the sleep meds in my body and vomiting all day. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Nothing Like an Accidental Suicide. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sz9kv/tifu_nothing_like_an_accidental_suicide/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Icheatedlikeanidiot | null | None | null | null | null | 1335756392 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sz6qn | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sz6qn | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sz6qn/tifu_and_cheated_on_a_test_and_was_caught_what_do/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Well not today technically, but rather on Friday. I'm a senior in high school and on Friday I was taking a multiple choice test in my AP European history class. I had studied and prepared fairly adequately for it but I made the mistake of looking at someone else's test and was caught. My teacher called me out and talked to me after class. He explained to me that I would get a 0 on the test and I apologized an moved on. I still feel awful about what I did though, how can I get over this feeling Reddit? Also my parents have not found out yet and they are bound to eventually, so how do I handle them? | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU and cheated on a test and was caught. What do I do from here? | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sz6qn/tifu_and_cheated_on_a_test_and_was_caught_what_do/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335750358 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sz1h5 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sz1h5 | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sz1h5/tifu_i_got_food_delivered_and_forgot_i_ordered_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | To be fair, it did take 2 hours for them to deliver the food | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU - I got food delivered, and forgot I ordered a drink, I walked away without said drink | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sz1h5/tifu_i_got_food_delivered_and_forgot_i_ordered_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335883640 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | t1jbn | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t1jbn | null | 29 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t1jbn/tifu_while_running_from_a_spider/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 177 | null | null | Walked into bathroom and was about to sit down on the toilet when my eyes adjusted and a huge freaking spider came into focus hanging from a web right in front of me, inches from my face. I did a spaz dance running out of the bathroom and smacked my knee on the corner of the wall. I immediately fell on the floor screaming in agony. For a few minutes I thought maybe I had shattered my knee cap. Right now I am sitting on the couch icing the lump on my knee, still in pain while the spider is somewhere in the bathroom plotting his next attack. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU while running from a spider | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t1jbn/tifu_while_running_from_a_spider/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Meme666 | null | None | null | null | null | 1335862911 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | t1ax1 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t1ax1 | null | 36 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t1ax1/tifu_i_ate_black_mold/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 44 | null | null | I was eating some cinnamon raisin toast when I ate a funny tasting raisin. I didnt think much of it until a few hours later when I looked at the package. Turns out that it was just plain cinnamon toast and I wasn't wearing my glasses to tell the difference between a raisin and a huge spot of black mold... I've been feeling feverish all day... | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I ate black mold | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t1ax1/tifu_i_ate_black_mold/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335859444 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | t19p2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t19p2 | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t19p2/tifu_unintentionally_insulted_a_cashier_at/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I got my order of McDouble and crispy chicken sandwich (McGangbang) uneventfully and went to fill my $1 cup from the stainless steel thing that Mickey D's keeps the iced tea in. Apparently from cleaning and scrubbing on a regular basis, it had a very worn label on the front. All I could make out were the words "te dulce" at the bottom. I asked the hispanic-looking cashier "Te Dulce means sweet tea right?" and she responded with "It's the container to the right". Then... for some reason my dumb ass half-jokingly responds with "Well I guess I AM going to learn Spanish eventually, whether I want to or not" (I live in Atlanta Ga, most people assume I speak *some* Spanish because I look like a typical construction worker. Lots of both Mexicans and Mexican-haters work in construction, and I think she assumed I was the latter). Total look of shock/disapproval/"fuck you" on cashier's face and then she just turned around to go check the fries without saying a word.
I felt like a total asshole. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Unintentionally insulted a cashier at McDonalds and came across as a racist asshole. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t19p2/tifu_unintentionally_insulted_a_cashier_at/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | locomike1219 | null | None | null | null | null | 1335851917 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | t165q | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t165q | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t165q/tifu_by_poorly_planning_my_benchwork/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Corn kernels can have cell types that allow you see the actual chromosomes, but it's a difficult process to get to taking great pictures of them. Today, I fucked up an important experiment that might make me have to jump back 5 months. I guess that's not really *that* big of a setback, but it was *suchhh* a dumb mistake to make. Well, back to the lab again | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by poorly planning my benchwork. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t165q/tifu_by_poorly_planning_my_benchwork/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | zfriderici | null | None | null | null | null | 1335848909 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | t147p | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t147p | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t147p/tifu_one_damn_thing_after_another/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Printer wouldn't print off the final project, went to work thinking I worked but didn't, found out I did the final wrong and had to re-do it just now. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: One damn thing after another | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t147p/tifu_one_damn_thing_after_another/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | MikeOxbigg | null | None | null | null | null | 1335835347 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | t0s09 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t0s09 | null | 26 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t0s09/tifu_i_killed_a_rabbit_with_poor_marksmanship/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 6 | null | null | My uncle out in Fayetteville, Arkansas invited me to go deer hunting with him pretty soon and so today I thought I would mentally prepare myself, having never killed an animal intentionally before. I loaded up with my holster and CO2 powered BB pistol, and took to the neighborhood bike path to hunt some game. I saw a rabbit maybe 20-25 yards away, and blasted in its direction.
The initial shot went wide because of the hop, but the rabbit only made a small move towards the wall of brush that was its' escape. I adjusted for the hop and shot again. This time it leapt up into the air and kinda stumbled into the brush. I approached cautiously, not knowing if any of his friends might be around. I came upon the poor guy writhing on the edge of the brush.
I didn't want to get too close cause I felt bad, and he kept looking me in the eye making me feel worse. I probably capped him three or four more times with him still being alive before I worked up the testicular fortitude to go and put two in his head.
TL;DR: Today I fucked up by killing an innocent rabbit, not in an efficient manner. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I killed a rabbit with poor marksmanship. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t0s09/tifu_i_killed_a_rabbit_with_poor_marksmanship/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | p53angel | null | None | null | null | null | 1335994004 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | t3yc7 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t3yc7 | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t3yc7/tifu_i_got_evicted/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 14 | null | null | So, this isn't half as dramatic as some of these posts, but it really feels awful to me, especially since this is only the second apartment I've leased.
So I have a dog, I've had her since I was ten, and I'm now in college, so she's older. I worry about her so much b/c she means the world to me. I'm not allowed to have a dog as per my lease-- only cats. I feel so embarrassed to say that I was evicted for having a dog, because it seems like an immature breach of contract. However, if she died at my parents house with me away, I would never forgive myself. I already know that when she does go, I will probably fall apart.
tl/dr: evicted because I own a dog. I now have to move out a week before finals. yay. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | tifu: I got evicted. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t3yc7/tifu_i_got_evicted/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335993648 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | t3xzk | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t3xzk | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t3xzk/tifu_my_soup_killed_my_laptop/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | About 15-20 minutes ago, I decided I was hungry. I went to the kitchen (with my laptop; I was reading an article) and grabbed a can of soup that had one of those pull tab thingies. When trying to open the can, I broke the tab off. So for about five minutes I hacked at the can with the can opener, tugging at the lid every few moments to see if I had made progress. When I thought I had got it, I pulled the lid (which was hanging by a piece of metal) off, and in doing so, broth splashed all over my keyboard. I freaked out and attempted to wipe it off, but the laptop had shut down. It won't turn back on, and I've cleaned it to the best of my ability.
Now I guess I'll have to play the waiting game. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: My soup killed my laptop. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t3xzk/tifu_my_soup_killed_my_laptop/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335987924 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | t3s46 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t3s46 | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t3s46/tifu_popped_a_blood_blister_and_exposed_to/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 4 | null | null | Last night, I was about to walk up a staircase, hit my toe on the bottom (crappy stairs), suddenly a wild blood blister appears on my big toe, right above the nail. Hurts like hell all day. A few minutes ago when I was trimming my toenails (really stupid idea but it was necessary), I popped it. Not exactly the most sterile of metal objects to break skin with Then, in my infinite wisdom, I hobble over to my house's ancient basement utility sink which is probably not filtered to clean it. I go upstairs to the bathroom, grab some band-aids, and of course I grabbed the ones for knuckles/wrists so I put it back and grab a normal pair, put some antibacterial stuff on it, and put it on. So many ways this could go wrong but still pales in comparison to most of the stuff on TIFU. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Popped a blood blister and exposed to multiple sources of infection after | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t3s46/tifu_popped_a_blood_blister_and_exposed_to/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Culumon | null | None | null | null | null | 1335973781 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | t3evq | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t3evq | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t3evq/tifuhurt_a_girl_unintenionaly_because_of/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I am sorry for posting it under TIFU because it technically happened yestarday
Soo I am sorry in advance for wall of text and in case this is the wrong subreddt I am sorry too. I just dont know what to do. I fucked up big time and have no one to ask for advice so I am asking people from all over the world: So I am currently trying to recover from a stupid break up(lasted nearly 5 years). On monday I went out with a couple of friends and they brought along this guy, call him Peter. We kinda talked the whole evening since he seemed a little down (one of my friends is his ex,call her Mary) we talked a lot and that evening we all went to a friends house, Maries now-boyfriend. We had some more talk, ate stuff and actually it was ok if not for the fact, even thou mary invited peter (he lives abou 60 km away) she didnt think about where he should sleep and also they(Mary and her bf) started hitting it off while we were still kinda in the room so I suggested that Peter just comes over to my place since a have a couch he could sleep on and he wouldnt have to deal with all that stuff.
We went over to me and basically spent the whole time with more talking where he told me about his relationship with Mary, and that there is this other girl(call her Lucy) who likes him and it kinda didnt work out between them and stuffs like that.
Fast forward to next day: went out to get some food, talked some more including stuff about Lucy and he didnt wann go to the place where our usual friends meet(some park around here) and went home.
I went to the park, met a couple of friends including a girl I am good friends with and started talking to her about stuff that happened the last couple of days(including Peter). Then Lucy joined us, I asked her what was up with all the rumors about her and why everyone was hating on her. I didnt mean anything bad but just wanted to understand why because I like her. Shes nice. Well we talked a little and I went back to the conversation with my friend. I kept telling her how cute I think Peter is and stuff like that.
My mind just COMPLETELY BLANKED on the fact that shes in love with him and I feel horrible today. I could kick my own arse for that.
Today I got a message from him telling me to please stay away from lucy AND him. He didnt go with me to that park because he didnt want bring chaos in Lucies feelings and now I completely screwed everything over and he thinks I did that on purpose just to rub it in her face. I didnt. I just really really blanked in my head. Reddit what should I do/ say? How do I get out of this situation without being the douche that I seem to be to everyone?
**TL;DR: Talked about a boy in front of a girl that is in love with him without realizing it and now I am told to stay away from both !**
EDIT:some minor stuff | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU:Hurt a girl unintenionaly because of brain-blank(xpost from r/askreddit) | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t3evq/tifuhurt_a_girl_unintenionaly_because_of/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Megan_Bee | null | None | null | null | null | 1335973384 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | t3ei9 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t3ei9 | null | 187 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t3ei9/tifu_sent_a_picture_of_my_boobs_to_the_wrong/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 505 | null | null | I was messing around with the webcam on my new laptop for the first time and I thought it would be cute/funny to take a picture of my boobs and send it to my boyfriend as a test picture. So I took the picture and sent him a facebook message with the caption "bewbz lol". Then I had a heart attack as I realized I sent the photo to a different guy who I hadn't spoken to in months. Awkwardness ensued. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU- sent a picture of my boobs to the wrong person. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t3ei9/tifu_sent_a_picture_of_my_boobs_to_the_wrong/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | ejtheman123 | null | None | null | null | null | 1335933810 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | t2t9m | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t2t9m | null | 59 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t2t9m/tifu_my_brain_decided_to_go_racist/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 105 | null | null | I was in American History class. My class is mainly black kids, and I am Hispanic.
Everyone was talking in class and pissing me off before i gave my speech/presentation on a project i did. It some how ended up in a racial debate. A Black kid said "Why are most blacks thought to be thief's, and gang banger?" I answered with this (What i thought i said "Well, its a stereotype of your race, as there are ones about mine.") Instead i said "Well, its a stereotype of your species..." And right there, everyone (black) in my class stood up and started yelling call me a racist, i was trying to explain what happened. Now when ever i go into that class i don't say shit, i don't feel like getting jumped anytime soon.
TLDR; I accidentally said something racist in front of a group of black kids. (Some are pretty ghetto.)
Edit: For those who say I AM a Racist I am not. The comments below are joking about THIS group of people. Not the entire race of people. I have friends who are different "Colors" not just black, I speak with people of different "Colors". I have no problem with people of different "Colors". Its the way people ACT that I have a problem with. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU- My brain decided to go racist. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t2t9m/tifu_my_brain_decided_to_go_racist/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | ejtheman123 | null | None | null | null | null | 1335930581 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | t2qnh | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t2qnh | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t2qnh/my_brain_decided_to_replace_race_with_species/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 6 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | My brain decided to replace race with species. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t2qnh/my_brain_decided_to_replace_race_with_species/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | mightybuffalo | null | None | null | null | null | 1335930512 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | t2qlk | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t2qlk | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t2qlk/well_last_friday_i_fucked_up/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | http://imgur.com/15EN5 | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Well, Last friday I fucked up. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t2qlk/well_last_friday_i_fucked_up/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | rcocman125 | null | None | null | null | null | 1335918493 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | t2f7g | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t2f7g | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t2f7g/okay_not_sure_if_this_is_pure_tifu_material_but/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | okay not sure if this is pure TIFU material, but punched a hole in my door. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t2f7g/okay_not_sure_if_this_is_pure_tifu_material_but/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | MrCassowary | null | None | null | null | null | 1336086334 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | t5wd4 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t5wd4 | null | 14 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t5wd4/tifu_old_man_turns_out_to_be_boyfriend_not_dad/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 56 | null | null | I work as a bartender on a cruise ship. A young woman started talking to me and I asked who she was there with, to which she points between a young guy and an older man (maybe late 50s) and says "My boyfriend". She walks up to the bar again later with the young guy and to have a laugh I said:
"Oh I thought you were with the really old guy"
"I am with the really old guy"
*Awkward moment with her uncomfortable and me in stitches* | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Old man turns out to be boyfriend, not dad... | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t5wd4/tifu_old_man_turns_out_to_be_boyfriend_not_dad/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1336081926 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | t5sav | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t5sav | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t5sav/tifu_i_threw_a_dart_at_my_teachers_head/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 47 | null | null | So I was in a free period (because our class finished maths early), and I got bored and decided to make a paper dart (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pT4Vax8Gz4s). I messed around with it a bit and then one of my friends asked to play with it, so I took aim and tried throwing it to the side of him so the dart didn't hit him. I threw it. It went out of control and hurdled towards her head, boom (exaggerated sound effects)... straight in to my teachers temple. She sent me out for half of the lesson and I thought that was pretty lucky considering it made her bleed.
So what about you, have you ever hurt/physically harmed a teacher accidentally?
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I threw a dart at my teachers head | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t5sav/tifu_i_threw_a_dart_at_my_teachers_head/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Jimbosilky | null | None | null | null | null | 1336059955 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | t582j | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t582j | null | 61 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t582j/tifu_i_started_a_new_pokemon_game_a_week_before/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 250 | null | null | Revision? Ha. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I started a new Pokemon game a week before my exams. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t582j/tifu_i_started_a_new_pokemon_game_a_week_before/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | fuckupALLthechoices | null | None | null | null | null | 1336030132 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | t4s8f | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_t4s8f | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/t4s8f/tifu_moved_into_a_new_place_with_two_female/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 19 | null | null | I'm a dude. Moved out of my place. My female friend says she has a room open in her house, and she lives with one other female. I say hell, why not.
Day we move in, we go out drinking in downtown for fun. Get back to the house hours later and drunk. Her and I somehow end up in my bed making out, yada yada. She gets a text saying her BF is going to be home in 10min. WTF. I was like okay, shit, close call. I soon come to realize over the next couple days that the dude lives with us...
Now I'm stuck living and interacting daily with some dude who I just home-wrecked. Not sure if he knows, or if it will eventually come out. Going to be a long couple months living here... | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU... Moved into a new place with two female friends. Proceeded to go out on the town, and hook up with of them. Apparently she has a BF, and he apparently lives in her room with her. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/t4s8f/tifu_moved_into_a_new_place_with_two_female/ | null | null | null | null |