Hagenm/BatmanMovieLines · Datasets at Hugging Face

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BATMAN What are you talking about?
JOKER Batman! Don't you even recognize your old pal Jack? After all...(cackling insanely) You made me what I am today.
DICK HE KILLED MY PARENTS! HE KILLED MY --
REPORTER ... on a tip attributed to the mysterious Batman. The apartment was booby-trapped with the Joker's laughing gas, leaving 17 policemen dead. (beat) Also found dead at the scene was Alicia Hunt, 26, a former model --
DICK ... Where am I?
BRUCE My name is Bruce Wayne. You're welcome to stay here as long as you want.
DENT We'll send a team into Ace the moment the warrant comes through.
BRUCE He'll be ready when you do. Remember what happened at the apartment.
DENT All right, Bruce, what do you suggest?
BRUCE I suggest a nice big bomb.
DENT Good. A bomb. On a blind tip from Bruce Wayne. -- We do have laws.
BRUCE Then for God's sake, Harvey, cancel the anniversary celebration.
DENT We've told him we'll deal. What could he possibly have to gain by --
BRUCE Do you still think the Joker cares about money??
DENT I don't know. I'm just a D.A. I don't have access to all your expert sources.
DICK ... Your butler wouldn't gimme a ride so I figured I'd hoof it.
BRUCE Sorry. I can't let you leave.
DICK You can't keep me here, man. That's kidnapping.
BRUCE If I let you leave, you'll do the same thing again. You'll go after the Joker... and you'll wind up dead. (turning to go)
DICK Hey, man. Look at you. You're rich. You got everything you want. How do you know what's in my mind?
BRUCE I don't care what's in your mind. You're staying.
DICK ... You're him.
ALFRED (V.O.) FREEZE!
BRUCE It's all right, Alfred. Everything's under control.
ALFRED ... Very good, sir.
JOKER Thankya, thankya. Ladies and germs, I'm here to tell you... we have had one helluva quarter.
JOKER (cont.) Panic's up. Terror's up. And fear -- fear's gone straight through the roof. You guys should be proud -- 'cause I couldn'ta done it without each and every one of you!
JOKER (cont.) I feel it's time to expand the Joker line. I was askin' myself, what are the products that every consumer wants most? And that's when it hit me: the water you drink, and the air you breathe! Huh? Bingo! (strutting across stage) Now, some of you have your eye on the profit margin. You're thinkin': this boy's too ambitious. You don't approve. In fact, some of you have been talking about turning me in to the cops. Or knocking me off.
JOKER (cont.) But that's okay. I understand. Not everyone shares my eye for beauty. And just to show there's no hard feelings, I'm throwin' a little shindig tonight -- and you're all invited!
JOKER (cont.) How 'bout it? IS EVERYBODY HAPPY??
JOKER Look at that, folks. We got 'em rolling in the aisles!
BRUCE All this apparatus, Vicki... this house, and the money, and the power... it was never mine. It was something I inherited. Bruce Wayne was something I inherited. (pause) All I ever hoped for was someone who could see through Bruce -- who could see me -- and not be frightened.
VICKI I'm not frightened of you, Bruce. I'm frightened for you.
BRUCE In all these years... why couldn't I see how it would turn out?
BRUCE (cont.) I'm responsible, Vicki. If it wasn't for me, there'd be no Joker.
BRUCE Where's the boy?
ALFRED Upstairs. He's quite docile.
BRUCE I know that feeling. It won't last.
BRUCE (cont.) He's a long way ahead of where I was at his age. (taking ALFRED'sshoulders) I want you to treat him just as if he were me. Promise.
ALFRED Yes, sir.
BRUCE He'll be taken care of financially. Beyond that... you know what to do. Don't let all this go to waste.
BRUCE (cont.) Alfred? -- Thank you.
DISPATCHER Boston, Philly: loading bay one.
COMPUTER ... Detonate.
COPGood Lord!
GOVERNOR GILROY As Governor of this great state, it is now my honor to unveil for you a very special lady -- a lady who stands tall for life and liberty -- America's favorite lady... LADY GOTHAM!
JOKER (V.O.) HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Gotham. Here's a little token of my esteem. HAVE FUN... 'cause THE PARTY'S ON ME!
KNOX VICKI!
KNOX (cont.) Couldn't turn down the job, huh? A girl could get hurt this way.
VICKI Yeah. Deja vu.
KNOX What do you say? Let's head for the lights.
KNOX So much for Underdog.
VICKI ALLIE!! THE WINDOWS!!
KNOX WHAT HAPPENED?!?
VICKI Oh my God. Compressor tanks. He's got the balloons rigged with compressor tanks!!
KNOX Jesus Christ, the guy's a genius.
VICKI LOOK! IT'S BRUCE!! (frantically) Allie -- the balloons. We've got to find some way to tell him!
KNOX Great. How??
KNOX (cont.) COME ON!
KNOX GIMME A HAND UP HERE!
JOKER No... NOOOOO!!!
JOKER There. There. -- GET 'EM!!
KNOX GET THE CAR!
KNOX HOLY SHIT!!
VICKI You okay?
KNOX Yeah. Yeah. Little winded. DID YOU SEE THAT?!
VICKI (laughing wildly) God yes, Allie. I've gotta say -- that was the ballsiest move I ever --
KNOX (ecstatic) Holy shit. Holy --
VICKI ALLIE!!
KNOX Jesus, Vicki.
JOKER He'll be back... he'll be back!!
JOKER You do him. I'm outta here.
VOICE Yo.
DICK HEY! COME ON!
DICK Now we're even, huh? Even up.
BATMAN How did you...
DICK I hitched. MOVE IT!
BATMAN The Joker. Is he --?
DICK Forget it. Relax. (beat) ... He's mine now.
BATMAN DICK!
JOKER Gotham cathedral. Come and get me.
JOKER I'm in the belltower. Don't land.
PILOT E.T.A. two minutes. Hang on.
JOKER ... Batman?
JOKER (cont.) Batman? Batman?
JOKER (cont.) I thought you'd be more comfortable here in the belfry. (chuckling to himself) Before I kill you I'd like to see who you are. Would that be okay?
JOKER (cont.) Oh my, aren't we pretty. (brightening suddenly) I know you! You're the rich boy!!
JOKER (cont.) My goodness, what in the world made you do it? It must've been something pretty terrible!
JOKER (cont.) You know, we should've sat down and had us a little heart-to-heart. I bet we would have got on famously.
BATMAN Mad... man...
JOKER Well now, you're not exactly the picture of mental health, are you.
BATMAN ... Murderer...
JOKER Bruce, we're both murderers. Think how many people you've killed by letting me live.
JOKER (cont.) I have to do it now, Bruce, but it won't even hurt. Now relax. The bat's in his belfry, all's right with the world...
JOKER (cont.) Why, Bruce...
JOKER (cont.) IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!
BRUCE No... sense... of humor?
CO-PILOT PULL UP!! PULL --
ANCHORWOMAN As the details of the Joker's heinous plan become known, a city's gratitude goes out to the mysterious Batman. His whereabouts remain unknown, but Batman -- if you're alive -- if you're listening -- thank you.
VICKI I loved you too.

BATMAN What are you talking about?

JOKER Batman! Don't you even recognize your old pal Jack? After all...(cackling insanely) You made me what I am today.

DICK HE KILLED MY PARENTS! HE KILLED MY --

REPORTER ... on a tip attributed to the mysterious Batman. The apartment was booby-trapped with the Joker's laughing gas, leaving 17 policemen dead. (beat) Also found dead at the scene was Alicia Hunt, 26, a former model --

DICK ... Where am I?

BRUCE My name is Bruce Wayne. You're welcome to stay here as long as you want.

DENT We'll send a team into Ace the moment the warrant comes through.

BRUCE He'll be ready when you do. Remember what happened at the apartment.

DENT All right, Bruce, what do you suggest?

BRUCE I suggest a nice big bomb.

DENT Good. A bomb. On a blind tip from Bruce Wayne. -- We do have laws.

BRUCE Then for God's sake, Harvey, cancel the anniversary celebration.

DENT We've told him we'll deal. What could he possibly have to gain by --

BRUCE Do you still think the Joker cares about money??

DENT I don't know. I'm just a D.A. I don't have access to all your expert sources.

DICK ... Your butler wouldn't gimme a ride so I figured I'd hoof it.

BRUCE Sorry. I can't let you leave.

DICK You can't keep me here, man. That's kidnapping.

BRUCE If I let you leave, you'll do the same thing again. You'll go after the Joker... and you'll wind up dead. (turning to go)

DICK Hey, man. Look at you. You're rich. You got everything you want. How do you know what's in my mind?

BRUCE I don't care what's in your mind. You're staying.

DICK ... You're him.

ALFRED (V.O.) FREEZE!

BRUCE It's all right, Alfred. Everything's under control.

ALFRED ... Very good, sir.

JOKER Thankya, thankya. Ladies and germs, I'm here to tell you... we have had one helluva quarter.

JOKER (cont.) Panic's up. Terror's up. And fear -- fear's gone straight through the roof. You guys should be proud -- 'cause I couldn'ta done it without each and every one of you!

JOKER (cont.) I feel it's time to expand the Joker line. I was askin' myself, what are the products that every consumer wants most? And that's when it hit me: the water you drink, and the air you breathe! Huh? Bingo! (strutting across stage) Now, some of you have your eye on the profit margin. You're thinkin': this boy's too ambitious. You don't approve. In fact, some of you have been talking about turning me in to the cops. Or knocking me off.

JOKER (cont.) But that's okay. I understand. Not everyone shares my eye for beauty. And just to show there's no hard feelings, I'm throwin' a little shindig tonight -- and you're all invited!

JOKER (cont.) How 'bout it? IS EVERYBODY HAPPY??

JOKER Look at that, folks. We got 'em rolling in the aisles!

BRUCE All this apparatus, Vicki... this house, and the money, and the power... it was never mine. It was something I inherited. Bruce Wayne was something I inherited. (pause) All I ever hoped for was someone who could see through Bruce -- who could see me -- and not be frightened.

VICKI I'm not frightened of you, Bruce. I'm frightened for you.

BRUCE In all these years... why couldn't I see how it would turn out?

BRUCE (cont.) I'm responsible, Vicki. If it wasn't for me, there'd be no Joker.

BRUCE Where's the boy?

ALFRED Upstairs. He's quite docile.

BRUCE I know that feeling. It won't last.

BRUCE (cont.) He's a long way ahead of where I was at his age. (taking ALFRED'sshoulders) I want you to treat him just as if he were me. Promise.

ALFRED Yes, sir.

BRUCE He'll be taken care of financially. Beyond that... you know what to do. Don't let all this go to waste.

BRUCE (cont.) Alfred? -- Thank you.

DISPATCHER Boston, Philly: loading bay one.

COMPUTER ... Detonate.

COPGood Lord!

GOVERNOR GILROY As Governor of this great state, it is now my honor to unveil for you a very special lady -- a lady who stands tall for life and liberty -- America's favorite lady... LADY GOTHAM!

JOKER (V.O.) HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Gotham. Here's a little token of my esteem. HAVE FUN... 'cause THE PARTY'S ON ME!

KNOX VICKI!

KNOX (cont.) Couldn't turn down the job, huh? A girl could get hurt this way.

VICKI Yeah. Deja vu.

KNOX What do you say? Let's head for the lights.

KNOX So much for Underdog.

VICKI ALLIE!! THE WINDOWS!!

KNOX WHAT HAPPENED?!?

VICKI Oh my God. Compressor tanks. He's got the balloons rigged with compressor tanks!!

KNOX Jesus Christ, the guy's a genius.

VICKI LOOK! IT'S BRUCE!! (frantically) Allie -- the balloons. We've got to find some way to tell him!

KNOX Great. How??

KNOX (cont.) COME ON!

KNOX GIMME A HAND UP HERE!

JOKER No... NOOOOO!!!

JOKER There. There. -- GET 'EM!!

KNOX GET THE CAR!

KNOX HOLY SHIT!!

VICKI You okay?

KNOX Yeah. Yeah. Little winded. DID YOU SEE THAT?!

VICKI (laughing wildly) God yes, Allie. I've gotta say -- that was the ballsiest move I ever --

KNOX (ecstatic) Holy shit. Holy --

VICKI ALLIE!!

KNOX Jesus, Vicki.

JOKER He'll be back... he'll be back!!

JOKER You do him. I'm outta here.

VOICE Yo.

DICK HEY! COME ON!

DICK Now we're even, huh? Even up.

BATMAN How did you...

DICK I hitched. MOVE IT!

BATMAN The Joker. Is he --?

DICK Forget it. Relax. (beat) ... He's mine now.

BATMAN DICK!

JOKER Gotham cathedral. Come and get me.

JOKER I'm in the belltower. Don't land.

PILOT E.T.A. two minutes. Hang on.

JOKER ... Batman?

JOKER (cont.) Batman? Batman?

JOKER (cont.) I thought you'd be more comfortable here in the belfry. (chuckling to himself) Before I kill you I'd like to see who you are. Would that be okay?

JOKER (cont.) Oh my, aren't we pretty. (brightening suddenly) I know you! You're the rich boy!!

JOKER (cont.) My goodness, what in the world made you do it? It must've been something pretty terrible!

JOKER (cont.) You know, we should've sat down and had us a little heart-to-heart. I bet we would have got on famously.

BATMAN Mad... man...

JOKER Well now, you're not exactly the picture of mental health, are you.

BATMAN ... Murderer...

JOKER Bruce, we're both murderers. Think how many people you've killed by letting me live.

JOKER (cont.) I have to do it now, Bruce, but it won't even hurt. Now relax. The bat's in his belfry, all's right with the world...

JOKER (cont.) Why, Bruce...

JOKER (cont.) IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!

BRUCE No... sense... of humor?

CO-PILOT PULL UP!! PULL --

ANCHORWOMAN As the details of the Joker's heinous plan become known, a city's gratitude goes out to the mysterious Batman. His whereabouts remain unknown, but Batman -- if you're alive -- if you're listening -- thank you.

VICKI I loved you too.