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i rent i be curious yellow from my video store because of all the controversy that surround it when it be first release in 1967. i also hear that at first it be seize by u. s. custom if it ever try to enter this country and therefore be a fan of film consider controversial i really have to see this for myself . the plot be center around a young swedish drama student name lena who want to learn everything she can about life . in particular she want to focus her attention to make some sort of documentary on what the average swede think about certain political issue such a the vietnam war and race issue in the united state . in between ask politician and ordinary denizen of stockholm about their opinion on politics and she have sex with her drama teacher and classmate and and marry men . what kill me about i be curious yellow be that 40 year ago and this be consider pornographic . really and the sex and nudity scene be few and far between and even then it not shot like some cheaply make porno . while my countryman mind find it shock and in reality sex and nudity be a major staple in swedish cinema . even ingmar bergman and arguably their answer to good old boy john ford and have sex scene in his film . i do commend the filmmaker for the fact that any sex show in the film be show for artistic purpose rather than just to shock people and make money to be show in pornographic theater in america . i be curious yellow be a good film for anyone want to study the meat and potato ( no pun intend ) of swedish cinema . but really and this film doesn not have much of a plot .	0neg
i be curious represent yellow be a risible and pretentious steam pile . it doesn not matter what one political view be because this film can hardly be take seriously on any level . a for the claim that frontal male nudity be an automatic nc 17 and that isn not true . i have see r rat film with male nudity . grant and they only offer some fleeting view and but where be the r rat film with gap vulva and flap labium . nowhere and because they do not exist . the same go for those crappy cable show represent schlongs swing in the breeze but not a clitoris in sight . and those pretentious indie movie like the brown bunny and in which be treat to the site of vincent gallo throb johnson and but not a trace of pink visible on chloe sevigny . before cry ( or imply ) double standard in matter of nudity and the mentally obtuse should take into account one unavoidably obvious anatomical difference between men and woman represent there be no genitals on display when actresses appear nude and and the same can not be say for a man . in fact and you generally would not see female genitals in an american film in anything short of porn or explicit erotica . this allege double standard be less a double standard than an admittedly depressing ability to come to term culturally with the inside of woman body .	0neg
if only to avoid make this type of film in the future . this film be interest a an experiment but tell no cogent story . one might feel virtuous for sit thru it because it touch on so many important issue but it do so without any discernable motive . the viewer come away with no new perspective ( unless one come up with one while one mind wanders and a it will invariably do during this pointless film ) . one might good spend one time star out a window at a tree growing .	0neg
this film be probably inspire by godard masculin and féminin and i urge you to see that film instead . the film have two strong element and those be and ( 1 ) the realistic acting ( 2 ) the impressive and undeservedly good and photo . apart from that and what strike me most be the endless stream of silliness . lena nyman have to be most annoying actress in the world . she act so stupid and with all the nudity in this film and . it unattractive . compare to godard film and intellectuality have be replace with stupidity . without go too far on this subject and i would say that follow from the difference in ideal between the french and the swedish society . a movie of it time and and place . negative .	0neg
oh and brother . after hear about this ridiculous film for umpteen year all i can think of be that old peggy lee song . be that all there be . . i be just an early teen when this smoke fish hit the u. s. i be too young to get in the theater ( although i do manage to sneak into goodbye columbus ) . then a screening at a local film museum beckon finally i could see this film and except now i be as old a my parent be when they schlepped to see it . the only reason this film be not condemn to the anonymous sand of time be because of the obscenity case spark by it u. s. release . million of people flock to this stinker and think they be go to see a sex film . instead and they get lot of closeup of gnarly and repulsive swede and on street interview in bland shopping mall and asinie political pretension . and feeble who care simulate sex scene with saggy and pale actor . cultural icon and holy grail and historic artifact . whatever this thing be and shred it and burn it and then stuff the ash in a lead box . elite esthete still scrape to find value in it boring pseudo revolutionary political spewings . but if it weren not for the censorship scandal and it would have be ignore and then forget . instead and the i be blank and blank rhythymed title be repeat endlessly for year a a titilation for porno film ( i be curious and lavender for gay film and i be curious and black for blaxploitation film and etc . ) and every ten year or so the thing rise from the dead and to be view by a new generation of sucker who want to see that naughty sex film that revolutionize the film industry . yeesh and avoid like the plague . or if you must see it rent the video and fast forward to the dirty part and just to get it over with .	0neg
i would put this at the top of my list of film in the category of unwatchable trash . there be film that be bad and but the bad kind be the one that be unwatchable but you be suppose to like them because they be suppose to be good for you . the sex sequence and so shocking in it day and couldn not even arouse a rabbit . the so called controversial politics be strictly high school sophomore amateur night marxism . the film be self consciously arty in the bad sense of the term . the photography be in a harsh grainy black and white . some scene be out of focus or take from the wrong angle . even the sound be bad . and some people call this art .	0neg
whoever write the screenplay for this movie obviously never consult any book about lucille ball and especially her autobiography . i have never see so many mistake in a biopic and range from her early year in celoron and jamestown to her late year with desi . i could write a whole list of factual error and but it would go on for page . in all and i believe that lucille ball be one of those inimitable people who simply can not be portray by anyone other than themselves . if i be lucie arnaz and desi and jr. and i would be irate at how many mistake be make in this film . the filmmaker try hard and but the movie seem awfully sloppy to me .	0neg
when i first saw a glimpse of this movie and i quickly notice the actress who be play the role of lucille ball . rachel york portrayal of lucy be absolutely awful . lucille ball be an astounding comedian with incredible talent . to think about a legend like lucille ball be portray the way she be in the movie be horrendous . i can not believe out of all the actress in the world who could play a much good lucy and the producer decide to get rachel york . she might be a good actress in other role but to play the role of lucille ball be tough . it be pretty hard to find someone who could resemble lucille ball and but they could at least find someone a bit similar in look and talent . if you notice york portrayal of lucy in episode of i love lucy like the chocolate factory or vitavetavegamin and nothing be similar in any way her expression and voice and or movement . to top it all off and danny pino play desi arnaz be horrible . pino do not qualify to play a ricky . he small and skinny and his accent be unreal and and once again and his acting be unbelievable . although fred and ethel be not similar either and they be not as bad a the character of lucy and ricky . overall and extremely horrible casting and the story be badly tell . if people want to understand the real life situation of lucille ball and i suggest watch a and e biography of lucy and desi and read the book from lucille ball herself and or pbs american master represent find lucy . if you want to see a docudrama and before the laughter would be a good choice . the casting of lucille ball and desi arnaz in before the laughter be much well compare to this . at least and a similar aspect be show rather than nothing .	0neg
who be these they the actor . the filmmaker . certainly couldn not be the audience this be among the most air puffed production in existence . it the kind of movie that look like it be a lot of fun to shoot too much fun and nobody be get any actual work do and and that almost always make for a movie that no fun to watch . ritter don glass so a to hammer home his character status a a sort of doppleganger of the bespectacled bogdanovich while the scene with the breezy ms. stratten be sweet and but have an embarrassing and look guy i be date the prom queen feel to them . ben gazzara sport his usual cat get canary grin in a futile attempt to elevate the meager plot and which require him to pursue audrey hepburn with all the interest of a narcoleptic at an insomnia clinic . in the meantime and the budding couple respective child ( nepotism alert represent bogdanovich daughter ) spew cute and pick up some fairly disturbing pointer on love while observe their parent . ( ms. hepburn and draw on her dignity and manages to rise above the proceeding but she have the monumental challenge of play herself and ostensibly . ) everybody look great and but so what . it a movie and we can expect that much and if that what youre look for you would be good off pick up a copy of vogue . oh and it have to be mention that colleen camp thoroughly annoy and even apart from her singing and which and while competent and be wholly unconvincing . the country and western number be woefully mismatch with the standard on the soundtrack . surely this be not what gershwin ( who write the song from which the movie title be derive ) have in mind while his stage musical of the 20 may have be slight and but at least they be long on charm . they all laugh try to coast on it good intention and but nobody least of all peter bogdanovich have the good sense to put on the brake . due in no small part to the tragic death of dorothy stratten and this movie have a special place in the heart of mr. bogdanovich he even buy it back from it producer and then distribute it on his own and go bankrupt when it do not prove popular . his rise and fall be among the more sympathetic and tragic of hollywood story and so there no joy in criticize the film . there _is_ real emotional investment in ms. stratten scene . but laugh be a faint echo of the last picture show and paper moon or what up and doc follow daisy miller and at long last love and it be a thundering confirmation of the phase from which p. b. have never emerge . all in all and though and the movie be harmless and only a waste of rental . i want to watch people have a good time and i will go to the park on a sunny day . for filmic expression of joy and love and i will stick to ernest lubitsch and jaques demy .	0neg
this be say to be a personal film for peter bogdonavitch . he base it on his life but change thing around to fit the character and who be detective . these detective date beautiful model and have no problem get them . sound more like a millionaire playboy filmmaker than a detective and doesn not it . this entire movie be write by peter and and it show how out of touch with real people he be . youre suppose to write what you know and and he do that and indeed . and leave the audience bore and confused and and jealous and for that matter . this be a curio for people who want to see dorothy stratten and who be murder right after film . but patti hanson and who would and in real life and marry keith richards and be also a model and like stratten and but be a lot well and have a more ample part . in fact and stratten part seem force while add . she doesn not have a lot to do with the story and which be pretty convolute to begin with . all in all and every character in this film be somebody that very few people can relate with and unless youre millionaire from manhattan with beautiful supermodel at your beckon call . for the rest of u and it an irritate snore fest . that what happen when youre out of touch . you entertain your few friend with inside joke and and bore all the rest .	0neg
it be great to see some of my favorite star of 30 year ago include john ritter and ben gazarra and audrey hepburn . they look quite wonderful . but that be it . they be not give any character or good line to work with . i neither understood or care what the character be do . some of the small female role be fine and patty henson and colleen camp be quite competent and confident in their small sidekick part . they show some talent and it be sad they do not go on to star in more and good film . sadly and i do not think dorothy stratten get a chance to act in this her only important film role . the film appear to have some fan and and i be very open mind when i start watch it . i be a big peter bogdanovich fan and i enjoy his last movie and cat meow and all his early one from target to nickleodeon . so and it really surprise me that i be barely able to keep awake watch this one . it be ironic that this movie be about a detective agency where the detective and client get romantically involve with each other . five year later and bogdanovich ex girlfriend and cybil shepherd have a hit television series call moonlight steal the story idea from bogdanovich . of course and there be a great difference in that the series rely on ton of witty dialogue and while this try to make do with slapstick and a few screwball line . bottom line represent it ain not no paper moon and only a very pale version of what up and doc .	0neg
i can not believe that those praise this movie herein aren not thinking of some other film . i be prepare for the possibility that this would be awful and but the script ( or lack thereof ) make for a film that also pointless . on the plus side and the general level of craft on the part of the actor and technical crew be quite competent and but when you have get a sow ear to work with you can not make a silk purse . ben g fan should stick with just about any other movie he be in . dorothy s fan should stick to galaxina . peter b fan should stick to last picture show and target . fan of cheap laugh at the expense of those who seem to be ask for it should stick to peter b amazingly awful book and killing of the unicorn .	0neg
never cast model and playboy bunny in your film . bob fosse star 80 about dorothy stratten and of whom bogdanovich be obsess enough to have marry her sister after her murder at the hand of her low life husband and be a zillion times more interesting than dorothy herself on the silver screen . patty hansen be no actress either . i expect to see some sort of lose masterpiece a la orson welles but instead get audrey hepburn cavort in jean and a god awful poodlesque hair do . very disappointing . paper moon and the last picture show i could watch again and again . this clunker i could barely sit through once . this movie be reputedly not release because of the brouhaha surround ms. stratten tawdry death while i think the real reason be because it be so bad .	0neg
it not the cast . a finer group of actor and you could not find . it not the setting . the director be in love with new york city and and by the end of the film and so be we all . woody allen could not improve upon what bogdonovich have do here . if you be go to fall in love and or find love and manhattan be the place to go . no and the problem with the movie be the script . there be none . the actor fall in love at first sight and word be unnecessary . in the director own experience in hollywood that be what happen when they go to work on the set . it be reality to him and and his peer and but it be a fantasy to most of u in the real world . so and in the end and the movie be hollow and and shallow and and message less .	0neg
today i find they all laugh on vhs on sale in a rental . it be a really old and very used vhs and i have no information about this movie and but i like the reference list on it cover represent the name of peter bogdanovich and audrey hepburn and john ritter and specially dorothy stratten attract me and the price be very low and i decide to risk and buy it . i search imdb and and the user rating of 6 . 0 be an excellent reference . i look in mick martin and marsha porter video and dvd guide 2003 and wow four star . so and i decide that i could not waste more time and immediately see it . indeed and i have just finish watch they all laugh and i find it a very boring overrated movie . the character be badly develop and and i spent lot of minute to understand their role in the story . the plot be suppose to be funny ( private eye who fall in love for the woman they be chase ) and but i have not laugh along the whole story . the coincidence and in a huge city like new york and be ridiculous . ben gazarra a an attractive and very seductive man and with the woman fall for him a if her be a brad pitt and antonio banderas or george clooney and be quite ridiculous . in the end and the great attraction certainly be the presence of the playboy centerfold and playmate of the year dorothy stratten and murder by her husband pretty after the release of this movie and and whose life be show in star 80 and death of a centerfold represent the dorothy stratten story while the amazing beauty of the sexy patti hansen and the future mrs. keith richards while the always wonderful and even be fifty two year old and audrey hepburn while and the song amigo and from roberto carlos . although i do not like him and roberto carlos have be the most popular brazilian singer since the end of the 60 and be call by his fan a the king . i will keep this movie in my collection only because of these attraction ( manly dorothy stratten ) . my vote be four . title ( brazil ) represent muito riso e muita alegria ( many laugh and lot of happiness ) .	0neg
this film be just plain horrible . john ritter do pratt fall and 75 % of the actor deliver their line a if they be read them from cue card and poor editing and horrible sound mixing ( dialogue be tough to pick up in place over the background noise ) and and a plot that really go nowhere . i do not think i would ever say this and but dorothy stratten be not the bad actress in this film . there be at least 3 others that suck more . patti hansen delivers her line with the passion of ben stein . i start to wonder if she wasn not dead inside . even bogdanovich kid be awful ( the old one be definitely read her line from a cue card ) . this movie be seriously horrible . there a reason bogdanovich couldn not get another project until 4 year later . please do not watch it . if you see it in your television listing and cancel your cable . if a friend suggest it to you and reconsider your friendship . if your spouse want to watch it and youre good off find another soulmate . i would rather gouge my eye out with lawn dart than sit through this piece of garbage again . if i could sum this film up in one word and that word would be represent suckotrocity .	0neg
my interest in dorothy stratten cause me to purchase this video . although it have great actor or actress and there be just too many subplots go on to retain interest . plus it just wasn not that interest . dialogue be stiff and confusing and the story just flip around too much to be believable . i be pretty disappointed in what i believe be one of audrey hepburn last movie . i will always love john ritter best in slapstick . he be just too pathetic here .	0neg
i have this film out of the library right now and i haven not finish watch it . it be so bad i be in disbelief . audrey hepburn have totally lose her talent by then and although she would pretty much finish with it in robin and marian . this be the bad thing about this appallingly stupid film . it really only of interest because it be her last feature film and because of the dorothy stratten appearance just prior to her homicide . there be nothing but idiocy between gazzara and his crony . little signal and little bow and nod to real screwball comedy of which this be the faint and pale shadow . who could believe that there be even some of the same manhattan environs that hepburn inhabit so magically and even mythically in breakfast at tiffany twenty year earlier . the soundtrack of old sinatra song and the gershwin song from which the title be take be too loud and obvious you sure do not have to wait for the credit to find out that something be subtly weave into the cine musique of the picture to know when the song blast out at you . revert to type mean go back up as well a go back down and i guess . in this case and audrey hepburn chic european lady be all you see of someone who be formerly occasionally an actress and always a star . here she have even lose her talent a a star . if someone whose talent be continue to grow in the period and like ann margret and have play the role and there would have be some life in it and even give the unbelievably bad material and mongoloid level situation . hepburn be a great person and of course and great than most movie star ever dream of be and and she be once one of the most charming and beautiful of film actor . after this dreadful performance and she go on to make an atrocious tv movie with robert wagner call love among thief . in they all laugh it be a though she be still play an ingenue in her 50 . even much vainer and obviously less intelligent actress who insist upon do this like lana turner be infinitely more effective than be hepburn . turner take act seriously even when she be bad . hepburn doesn not take it seriously at all and couldn not be bother with it while even her hair and clothes look tacky . her last really good work be in two for the road and perhaps her most perfect and if possibly not her best in many way . and that girl who play the country singer be just sicken . john ritter be horrible and there be simply nothing to recommend this film except to see dorothy stratten and who be truly pretty . otherwise and critic david thomson oft use phrase lose his or her talent never have make more sense . ben gazarra have lose all sex appeal by then and and so we have 2 film with gazarra and hepburn who could ask for anything less . sandra dee last and pitiful film lose and from 2 year later and a low budget nothing and have more to it than this . at least ms. dee speak in her own voice while by 1981 and audrey hepburn accent just sound silly while she would go on to do the pb garden of the world with audrey hepburn and there her somewhat irritating accent work a she walk through english garden with aristocrat or wax effusively about what i like most be when flower go back to nature . a in naturalized daffodil and but in an actual fictional movie and she just sound ridiculous . to think that breakfast at tiffany be such a profound sort of light poetic thing with audrey hepburn one of the most beautiful woman in the world she be surely one of the most beautiful screen presence in my fair lady and match garbo in several thing and delphine seyrig in last year at marienbad . and then this . and her final brief role a the angel hap in the spielberg film always be just more of the lady stuff corny and witless and stifling . i go to her memorial service at the fifth avenue presbyterian church and a beautiful service which include a boy choir sing the shaker hymn simple gift . the only thing not list in the program be the sudden playing of hepburn sing moon river on the fire escape in breakfast at tiffany and and this bring much emotion and some real tear out in the congregation . a great lady who be once a fine actress ( a in the nun story ) and one of the great and most beautiful of film star in many movie of the 50 and 60 who become a truly bad one that not all that common . and perhaps it be only a great human be who and in make such thing a film performance trivial and nevertheless have the largeness of mind to want to have the flaw point out mercilessly which all of her late film work contain in abundance . most of the talk about hepburn miscasting be about my fair lady . but the one that should have have the original actress in it be wait until dark and which have star lee remick on broadway . never as celebrate a hepburn and she be a good actress in many way ( hepburn be completely incapable of play anything really sordid ) and although hepburn be at least adequate enough in that part . after that and all of her act go downhill .	0neg
i think i will make a movie next weekend . oh wait and i be work . oh i be sure i can fit it in . it look like whoever make this film fit it in . i hope the maker of this crap have day job because this film suck . it look like someone home movie and i do not think more than $ 100 be spend make it . total crap . who let this stuff be release .	0neg
pro represent nothingcons represent everythingplot summary represent a female reporter run into a hitchhiker that tell her story about the death of people that be kill by zombie . review represent never in my life have i come across a movie a bad the zombie chronicle . film on a budget of what look to be about 20 buck and tzc be a completely horrible horror movie that rely on lame and forgetable actor whom couldn not act to save their life and gore that more gross than frighten . how do a movie like this even get make . simply put and avoid tzc like a sexually transmitted disease . my last 2 cent represent humorously enough and this movie be make by a movie company call brain damage film . theyre brain must have really be damage to come up with a craptacular movie like this . my rating represent negative ( if it be up to me and this movie would get the rating of negative bajillion ) .	0neg
if the crew behind zombie chronicle ever read this and here some advice guy represent 1. in a twist end type movie and it not a good idea to insert close ups of every death in the movie in the opening credit . that tend to spoil the twist and yknow . 2. i know you produce this on a shoestring and to be fair you work miracle with your budget but please and hire people who can actually act . or at least and walk and talk and gesture at the same time . joe haggerty and i be look at you . 3. if youre go to set a part of your movie in the past and only do this if you have the prop and costume of the time . 4. twist ending be suppose to be a surprise . sure and we do not want twist that make no sense and but signpost the reveal as soon a you introduce a character . that not a great idea . kudos to the guy for try and but in all honesty and i would rather they hadn not . only for zombie completists .	0neg
1st watch 8/3/2003 negative ( dir brad sykes ) represent mindless 3 d movie about flesh eat zombie in a 3 story within a movie chronicle . and yes and we get to see zombie eat human flesh part in 3d . wow and not . that have be do time and time again in 2d in a zombie movie but what usually make a zombie movie well be the underlie story not the actual flesh eating . that what make the original zombie classic good . the flesh eating be just throw in a an extra . be actually bore throughout most of this 3 part chronicle because of the lame ( twilight zone like ) easily understood and slow pacingly reveal finale . the last story be actually the story the movie start with ( have a reporter investigate a so called ghost town ) and of course we get to see flesh eat zombie in that one as well . well and i think i have say enough . watch the classic and not this 3d bore feast .	0neg
there ton of good look woman in this flick . but alas and this movie be nudity free . grrrrrrrrrr strike one . ahem . one story in this film take place in 1971. then why the hell be the main character drive a kia sportage . hello . continuity and anyone . a you might know and this movie be release in stereoscopic 3d . and it be the most hideous effect i have ever see . i be not sure if someone botch the job on this and but there be no 3d and just double vision blur . i do not have the same problem with this company other 3d movie and hunt season and camp blood . sure and the 3d in those one suck too and but with them i could see a semblance of 3d effect . this thing be a big ball of nothing . and whoever that woman be who play the daughter of the ear eating dame and yum . i would like to see more of her . in movie and as well . look like janet margolin at a young age . purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr .	0neg
en route to a small town that lay way off the beaten track ( but which look suspiciously close to a freeway ) and a female reporter run into a strange hitch hiker who agree to help direct her to her destination . the strange man then recount a pair of gruesome tale connect to the area represent in the first story and an adulterous couple plot to kill the woman husband and but eventually suffer a far bad fate themselves when they be attack by a zombie while and in the second story and a group of camper have their vacation cut short when an undead outlaw take umbrage at have his grave peed on . the zombie chronicle be an attempt by writer garrett clancy and director brad sykes at make a zombie theme anthologya nice idea and but with only two story and it fall woefully short . and that not the only way in which this low budget gore flick fail to deliver represent the acting be lousy ( with joe haggerty and a the tale tell ebenezer jackson and give one of the strange performance i have ever see ) while the location be uninspired while the script be dreary while there a sex scene with zero nudity while and the end . well and that beggar belief . to be fair and some of sykes creative camera work be effective ( although the gimmicky technique employ a character run through the wood be a tad overuse ) and joe castro cheapo gore be enthusiastic represent an ear be bite off and eyeball be pluck out and a face be remove and brain be squish and and there be a messy decapitation . these positive just about make the film bearable and but be warn and the zombie chronicle ain not a stroll in the park and even for seasoned viewer of z grade trash . i give the zombie chronicle negative and but generously raise my rating to 3 since i do not get to view the film with the benefit of 3d ( although i have a sneaking suspicion that an extra dimension wouldn not have make that much of a difference ) .	0neg
without wish to be a killjoy and brad sykes be responsible for at least two of the most dull and clichéd film i have ever see this be one of them and and camp blood be another . the acting be terrible and the print be shoddy and and everything about this film scream seriously and you could do good yourself . maybe this be a challenge to everyone to saturate youtube with our own zombie relate crap . i buy this for £1 and but remember and you can not put a price on 71 minute of your life . you would do well to avoid this turkey and even at a bargain basement price .	0neg
my girlfriend once bring around the zombie chronicle for u to watch a a joke . little do we realize the joke be on her for pay £1 for it . while watch this film i start to come up with thing i would rather be do than watch the zombie chronicle . these include represent1 ) drinking bleach 2 ) rub sand in my eye 3 ) write a letter to brad sykes and garrett clancy 4 ) re enact the american civil war 5 ) tax return 6 ) gcse math 7 ) sex with an old lady . garrett clancy and aka sgt . ben draper write this . the guy couldn not even dig a hole properly . the best ting he do be kick a door down ( the best part of the film ) . this be the bad film i have ever see and and i have see white noise represent the light . never have a film have so many mistake in it . my girlfriend leave it here and so now i live with the shame of own this piece of crap . news just in represent owen wilson watch this film and try to kill himself . fact . do not watch .	0neg
amateur and no budget film can be surprisingly good . this however be not one of them . ah and another brad sykes atrocity . the acting be hideous and except for emmy smith who show some promise . the camera direction need serious reworking . and no more hold the camera and run gimmick either while it just doesn not work . the special effect be unimaginative and there a problem when the effect can be identify in real time . if youre go to rip off an ear and please do not let u see the actor real ear beneath the blood . the scenery be bland and bore ( same a mr. sykes other venture ) and and the music be a cross between cheap motel porn and really bad guitar drive metal ( see the scenery comment ) . do i mention the lack of any real plot and or character development . apparently and the scriptwriter do not . whoever be fund this guy . please stop . i have see some of his other home movie ( which i will not plug ) and they be just a bad . normally and a director will grow and learn from his previous effort . not this guy . it one thing to be an amateur filmmaker and but anyone can be a hack . definitely not even a popcorn film . of course and chew on popcorn kernel would be less painful than this effort . award represent the bad ever military push ups in a film .	0neg
ok it not the best film i have ever see but at the same time i have be able to sit and watch it twice . story line be pretty awful and during the first part of the first short story i wonder what the hell i be watch but at the same time it be so awful i love it cheap laugh all the way . and jebidia deserve an oscar for his role in this movie the only thing that let him down be half way through he stop his silly name call . overall the film be pretty perfetic but if your after cheap laugh and you see it in pound land go by it .	0neg
some film that you pick up for a pound turn out to be rather good 23rd century film release dozen of obscure italian and american movie that be great and but although hardgore release some fulci film amongst others and the bulk of their output be crap like the zombie chronicle . the only positive thing i can say about this film be that it nowhere near as annoy a the stink of flesh . other than that and it a very clumsy anthology film with the technical competence of a lego house build by a whelk . it be note elsewhere and but you really do have to worry about a film that insert preview of the action into it credit sequence and so by the time it get to the zombie attack and you have see it all already . bad movie fan will have a ball watch the 18 and 000 continuity mistake and the diabolical acting of the cast ( especially the hitchhiker and who be so bad he do make me laugh a bit ) and and kudos to hardgore for get in to the spirit of thing by release a print so bad it felt like i be watch some beat up home video of a camping trip . awful and awful stuff . we have all make stuff like this when we have get a hold of a camera and but common sense prevails and these film languish in our cupboard somewhere . avoid .	0neg
i receive this movie a a gift and i knew from the dvd cover and this movie be go to be bad . after not watch it for more than a year i finally watch it . what a pathetic movie . i almost do not finish watch this bad movie and but it will be unfair of me to write a review without watch the complete movie . trust me when i say this movie suck i be truly shock that some bad filmmaker wane bee get even finance to make this pathetic movie and but it couldn not have cost more than $ 20 000 to produce this movie . all you need be a cheap camcorder or a cell phone camera . about 15 people with no act skill and a scrip that be write by a couple of drunk people . in the fist part of this ultra bad move a reporter ( tara woodley ) run a suppose to be drunk man over on her way to report on a hunted town . he be completely unharmed . they go to a suppose to be abandon house and but luckily for the it almost complete furnish and a bottle of liquor on the door step happen to be there . just for the suppose to be drunk man but all be not what it seem . then the suppose drunk man start tell tara ghost or zombie story . the fist of his stupid lame story must be the bad in history . his storysgt . ben draper let one of his soldier die of complete exhaustion ( i think this be what happen ) after let the poor soldier private wilson do sit ups he let him dig a grave and then the soldier collapse and ben draperburies him in a shallow grave . but sgt . ben draper be in for n big surprise . his wife or girl fiend know about this and she and her lover kill sgt . ben draper to take revenge on private wilson . ( next to the grave of the soldier he sort off murder ) the soldier wake up from his grave in the form of zombie and kill them for take revenge on his behalf . the twist end be so lame . even if you like b horror movie and do not watch this movie .	0neg
i have not see many low budget film i must admit and but this be the bad movie ever probably and the main character the old man talk like and he have a lobotomy and lose the power to speak more than one word every 5 second and a 5 year old could act good . the story have the most awful plot and and well the army guy have put what he think be army like and then just go over the top and i only watch it to laugh at how bad it be and and hop it be lead onto the real movie . i cant believe it be under the 2 night rental thing at blockbuster and instead of a please take this for free and get it out of our sight . i think there be one semi decent actor other than the woman and i think the only thing ok with the budget be the make up and but they show every important scene of the film in the beginning music bit . awful simply awful .	0neg
. oh wait and i can . this movie be not for the typical film snob and unless you want to brush up on your typical cinematic definition and like continuity editing and geographic match . i couldn not tell where i be in this movie . one second theyre in the present and next minute their supposedly in the 70 drive a modern suv and wear what look like to me a 80 style clothing . i think . i couldn not pay long enough attention to it since the acting be just horrible . i think it only get attention because it have a 3d which i do not watch . if youre a b movie buff and and by b movie i mean bad movie and then this film be for you . it home movie and all non sense style will keep you laugh for as long a you can stay awake . if your taste be more for goddard and antonioni and though and just skip this one .	0neg
you have to admire brad sykes even if you do not particularly want to and a man who churn out budget horror after budget horror to less than enthusiastic reception . but keep on do it all the same . even the half hearted praise than surround his camp blood film be give grudgingly and i be a guilty of this a anyone . brad normally manage to throw something interest into the mix and a neat idea and a kooky character and whatever and but without the fund to take it further than base level and he rely on the audience to cut him some slack and appreciate it for what it be and what it could be . joe haggerty give a spirited and very funny performance a ebenezer jackson and it a credit to sykes that he can sense that this oddball turn be go to work within the framework of the film . come to a multiplex near you and in a parallel universe and somewhere .	0neg
the zombie chronicle aspect ratio represent 1 . 33 represent1 ( nu view 3 d ) sound format represent monowhilst search for a ( literal ) ghost town in the middle of nowhere and a young reporter ( emmy smith ) pick up a grizzle hitchhiker ( joseph haggerty ) who tell her two story involve flesh eating zombie repute to haunt the area . an absolute waste of time and hobble from the outset by haggerty painfully amateurish performance in a key role . bad still and the two story which make up the bulk of the running time be utterly routine and make bad by indifferent performance and lackluster direction by brad sykes and previously responsible for the like of camp blood ( 1999 ) . this isn not a fun movie in the sense that ed wood movie be fun ( he and at least and believe in what he be do and be sincere in his effort and despite a lack of talent ) while sykes home make movie be and in fact and aggravating and boring and almost completely devoid of any redeeming virtue and and most viewer will feel justifiably angry and cheat by such unimaginative and badly conceive junk . the 3 d format be utterly waste here .	0neg
a woman ask for advice on the road to reach a mysterious town and and hears two ghoulish story from the local weirdo and both zombie relate . but perhaps fate have something nasty in store for her too . the zombie chronicle be absolutely one of the bad film i have ever see . in fact i must confess and so bad be it i fast forward through most of the garbage . and there be a lot of that and believe me . it run for just 69 minute and and there be still ton of filler . you get some skinhead do a lot of push ups and plenty of dull kissy kissy scene between goofy teen ( that rhyme and tee hee ) and some fine example of why some people should never become actor . a for the title character and they barely even have a footnote in the film . why and you get more undead action in the intro than you do the preceding feature . though and consider how pathetic the eye burst out of socket and the eating of brain sequence be ( amongst other wouldelights ) and maybe that a blessing in disguise . and to top it all off and it look like it be film on someone mobile phone for broadcast on youtube . jerky camera work and scratch on the print and flicker light . i have to rub my eye when i realise it be make in 2001 and and not 1971. even the clothes and fashion look about three decade out of date . if you think i be not qualify to do a review of chronicle have not see the whole film and then go ahead . you try sit through it and i betcha you would not even make it to the first appearance of the blue smartie colour freak before make your excuse and leave . it be truly laughable that anyone chose to release it and and honestly you will get far more fun rest your drink on the disc than actually torture your dvd player with this gigglesome excuse for horror . in fact and do not for surprised if it pack it bags and leave in the morning and leave you doom to watch vhs tape for the rest of your life . you have be warn . negative p. s what kind of 18 rat horror have the woman keep a massive sport bra on during the obligatory sex scene . see and the movie can not even get that part right .	0neg
really and i can not believe that i spend $ 5 on this movie . i be a huge zombie fanatic and think the movie couldn not be that bad . it have zombie in it right . be i wrong . to be honest the movie have it moments . i think it be cool when the guy get his head rip off but that be about it . overall i think that it would be more enjoyable to slide down a razorblade slide on my bare nutsack into a vat of vinegar then watch this movie again . the movie could have be well if we could see some boob but i have to watch the trailer for the other movie produce by this company to see that . buyer beware . unless you be into masochism .	0neg
i rent this movie about 3 year ago and and it still stand out in my mind a the bad movie ever make . i do not think i ever finish it . it be bad than a home video make by a high school student . i remember them do a flashback to 1970 something and in the flashback there be a man with a polo shirt and oakley sunglass and a new suv and like a toyota rav 4 or something ( i do not remember ) . i do not understand how they could have possibly say that to be in the 70 . he might have have a cell phone too and i cant remember and it be just horrible . i return it to the video store and ask them why they even carry the movie and if i could get the hour of my life back . to this day it be the bad movie i have ever see and and i have see some pretty bad one .	0neg
representspoilers representi be very disappointed in love abiding joy . i have be wait a really long time to see it and i finally get the chance when it re air thursday night on hallmark . i love the first three love movie but this one be nothing like i think it be go to be . the whole movie be sad and depressing and there be way to many goof and and the editing be very poor to many scene out of context . i also think the death of baby kathy happen way to soon and clark appearance in the movie just do not seem to fit . it seem like none of the actor really want to be there they be all lacking emotion . there seem to be no interaction between missie and willie at all . i think the script writer should have go more by the book . it seem like every movie that be make so far just slip far and far away from janette oke writing . i mean in the movie they never mention a thing about the mine and the two boy or clark get hurt because of it . and i think missie and willies reaction to kathy death could have be show and heard rather than just hear . out of the four movie that have be make so far i would have to say that love abide joy be my least favorite . i hope with the next four movie that more of the book be follow and if clark character be in them i hope he get a big part and i hope his part isn not so bland . i also hope there be more of scottie and cookie and maybe even marty but who know what the script writer will have in store next .	0neg
i have see all four of the movie in this series . each one stray far and far from the book . this be the bad one yet . my problem be that it do not follow the book it be title after in any way . the director and producer should have name it any thing other than love abide joy . the only thing about this movie that remotely resemble the book be the name of some of the character ( willie and missie and henry and clark and scottie and cookie ) . the name or age or gender of the child be wrong . the entire story line be no where in the book . i find it a great disservice to janette oke and her book and her fan to produce a movie under her title that be not correct in any way . the music be too loud . the actor be not convince they lack emotion . if you want a good family movie and this might do . it be clean . don not watch it and though and if you be hop for a condensed version of the book . i hope that this will be the last movie from this series and but i doubt it . if there be more movie make and i wish michael landon and jr and others would stick close to the original plot and story line . the book be excellent and and if closely follow and would make excellent movie .	0neg
i very much look forward to this movie . it a good family movie while however and if michael landon jr. edit team do a good job of edit and the movie would be much well . too many scene out of context . i do hope there be another movie from the series and theyre all very good . but and if another one be make and i beg them to take good care at edit . this story be all over the place and do not seem to have a center . which be unfortunate because the other movie of the series be great . i enjoy the story of willie and missy while theyre both great role model . plus and the romantic side of the viewer always enjoy a good love story .	0neg
i have read all of the love come softly book . know full well that movie can not use all aspect of the book and but generally they at least have the main point of the book . i be highly disappointed in this movie . the only thing that they have in this movie that be in the book be that missy father come to visit and ( although in the book both parent come ) . that be all . the story line be so twisted and far fetch and yes and sad and from the book and that i just couldn not enjoy it . even if i do not read the book it be too sad . i do know that pioneer life be rough and but the whole movie be a downer . the rating be for have the same family orientation of the film that make them great .	0neg
a a southern baptist and it pain me that i must give a below average rating to an overtly christian movie . there certainly aren not so many that i want to discourage film maker from a genre that woefully under exploit . still and i must honestly say that love abide joy be a typically low budget and low key and self consciously christian film . the plot be predictable and the acting mediocre ( i be be kind ) and and the edit atrocious . a a tv movie it might have be slightly above average and but a a feature film it leave much to be desire . keep try guy . you have get to have a movie about about real christian inside you somewhere . might i suggest you turn to g. k. chesterton or c. s. lewis for some inspiration .	0neg
warn represent this review contain spoiler . do not read if you do not want some point reveal to you before you watch the film . with a cast like this and you wonder whether or not the actor and actresses knew exactly what they be get into . do they see the script and say and ` hey and close encounter of the third kind be such a hit that this one can not fail . unfortunately and it do . do they even think to check on the director credential . i mean and would you do a movie with the director of a movie call ` satan cheerleader . greydon clark and who would later go on to direct the infamous ` final justice and make this . it make you wonder how the people of mystery science theater 3000 could hammer ` final justice and completely miss out on ` the return . the film be set in a small town in new mexico . a little boy and girl be in the street unsupervised one night when a powerful flashlight beam . er . a spaceship appear and hovers over them . in probably the bad special effect sequence of the film and the ship spew some kind of red ink on them . it look like clark have hold a beaker of water in from of the camera lens and dip his leaky pen in it and so right away you be treat with cheese . anyhow and the ship leave and the adult do not believe the child . elsewhere and we see vincent schiavelli and whom i find to be a terrific actor ( watch his scene in ` ghost for proof and a they be outstanding ) and who be play a prospector and or a i call him and the miner 1949er . he step out of the cave he be in and and he and his dog be ink by the ship . twenty five year go by and and the girl have grow up to be cybill shepherd and who work with her father and raymond burr and in study unusual weather phenomenon . or something like that . shepherd spots some strange phenomenon in satellite picture over that little new mexico town and and she travel there to research it . once she get there and the local rancher harass her and and blame her for the recent slew of cattle mutilation that have be go on and and deputy jan michael vincent come to her rescue . from this point on and the film really drag a the two quickly fall for each other and especially after vincent ward off the local and informs shepherd that he be the little boy that saw the ship with her twenty five year earlier . while this boring mess be happen and vincent schiavelli and with his killer dog at his side and be walk around kill the cattle and any people he run into with an unusual item . you know those glow plastic stick store sell for trick or treater at halloween and the kind that you shake to make them glow . schiavelli use what look like one of those glow stick to burn incision in people . it the second bad effect in the movie . every time schiavelli be on screen with the glow stick and the scene atmosphere suddenly turn dark and like the filmmaker think the glow stick need that enhancement . it end up make the movie look even cheap than it be . and what do all this lead up to . it hard to tell when the final and confusing scene arrives . see and burr and his team of scientist try to explain the satellite image that shepherd find a some kind of ` call card and but none of it make sense . why do shepherd and vincent age and schiavelli do not . schiavelli explain why he be kill cattle and people and why he want shepherd dead and but even that doesn not make much sense when you really think about it . i mean and why doesn not he kill jan michael vincent . after all and he have twenty five year to do it . and the alien would not need him if shepherd be dead anyhow and so why try to kill her . speaking of the alien and it be never clear what they really want out of shepherd and vincent . what be their goal . why do they wait so long to intervene . how could they be so sure shepherd would come back . not that the answer to any of these and other question would have make ` the return any more pleasant . you would still have bad line and really bad acting and particularly by shepherd and cheesy effect and and poor direction . luckily and the star escape from this movie . cybill shepherd soon go on to star in ` moonlight with bruce willis . jan michael vincent go on to be feature in dozen of b movie and often in over the top part . raymond burr make a pile of perry mason television movie right up until his death . vincent schiavelli go on to be a great character actor in a huge number of film . martin landau and who play a kooky law enforcement officer and quickly make the terrific ` alone in the dark and the awful ` the be before roll into the film he have be famous for recently . you can bet none of these star ever want their career to return to ` the return . zantara score represent negative .	0neg
a a kid i do think the weapon the murderer wield be cool and however i be a kid and so i be a bit dumb . even a a dumb kid though the movie plot be stupid and a bit boring when the killer be not use his light knife to kill people . what amazes me be that the movie have a really solid cast in it . what script do they read when agree to be in this movie a it be most assuredly boring and only a mean to show off a light saber on a very small scale . the plot at time be incomprehensible and the end be totally chaotic . the whole film seem to rotate around alien and the one weapon . the plot have two kid and some dude have an alien encounter and flash year later and there seem to be a return a it be in the mix . dead animal and such to be explore and for some reason the one dude get the weapon of the alien and proceeds to use it to go on a very light kill spree . seriously and you just have to wonder why this movie be make and if you be go to have a killer have some good death scene and if you be go to have alien encounter show more than a weird light vortex thing and and if you be go to have light saber then call yourself star war .	0neg
jill dunne ( play by mitzi kapture ) and be an attractive and nice woman and over whelm by a smart mouthed teenage daughter and liv ( martha macisaac ) and a petty and two timing husband and sean ( rick robert ) and both of which be tediously self center and and obnoxious . this be advertise a a troubled family stalk by a crazed killer during a relentless storm . the storm doesn not even happen until about the last 5 minute of the film and and then it isn not anything to send anybody run to the storm cellar . the stalking and likewise doesn not get intense until almost the end of the film . most of the film we spend listen to jill and her insufferable daughter and liv and argue until i just want to back slap the daughter into next week . jill problem with liv be that she have take up with zack and a boy of questionable character and and they be constantly make out in fact jill come home to find the two of them on liv bed . the rest of the time we spend listen to jill husband sean either whine at jill or criticize her . sean be not at all appeal since his face be so covered in freckle you could play connect the dot . the story begin with jill be notify of an out stand bill on their credit card for a hotel she have never be to and and that she think sean have never be to either . jill go to the hotel where she meet the owner and manager and richard grant ( nick mancuso ) and a very nice and old and divorce man and who be sympathetic to her . in fact and when he spot her husband there again and he phone jill and tip her off . jill return to the hotel and see sean with another woman . she be upset and leave without sean see her and and do absolutely nothing . in fact and she doesn not even say anything to sean when he arrive home . this make no sense to me . jill have give richard her business card and and so he call her and she be apparently in real estate . she show him a condo . afterwards they have a drink and and thing get cozy between them . richard and jill be get it on and hot and heavy . in fact and he seem a bit more aggressive than necessary and when jill suddenly decide to cut out . jill and sean have a confrontation about his cheating . sean whine about how jill have be let him down since her father die . apparently his lack of any moral be all her fault . eventually jill confess her own lack of moral and near adultery to sean and of course that all her fault too and as far a sean be concern . the little family decide to go on a camping trip which mean more whining and grousing among them and especially from the spoiled daughter . i be so root for the stalker to get everybody and but jill . 3 star .	0neg
this movie suck . it really be a waste of my life . the acting be atrocious and the plot completely implausible . long and long story short and these people get terrorize by this pathetic craze killer and but completely fail to fight back in any manner . and this be after they take a raft on a camping trip and with no gear and and show up at a campsite that be already assemble and completely stock with food and clothes and the daughter headphone . additionally and after their boat go miss and they panic that theyre stick in the wood and but then the daughter boyfriend just show up and they apparently never consider that they could just hike out of the wood like he do to get to them . like i say and this movie suck . a complete joke . don not let your girlfriend talk you into watch it .	0neg
lifetime do it again . can we say stupid . i couldn not wait for it to end . the plot be senseless . the acting be terrible . especially by the teenager . the story have be play a thousand time . be we just desperate to give actor a job . the preview be attractive and i be really look for a good thriller . once in awhile lifetime come up with a good movie and this isn not one of them . unless one have nothing else to do i would avoid this one at all cost . this be a waste of two hour of my life . can i get them back . i would have rather scrap my face against a brick wall for two hour then soak it in peroxide . that would have be more entertaining .	0neg
i have to say i be really surprise at the high rating for this movie . i find it to be absolutely idiotic . the mother get vision when she touch certain thing or people . and one thing she touch twice make her vision continue . just seem so ridiculous . deedee pfieffer performance be awful i thought . she be very irritating . the girl who play lori do a good job and so do most of the support cast for what they have to work with . i usually love lmn and be very open mind when it come to movie but this movie seem to have a ridiculous plot and over the top acting and it just be not for me .	0neg
the original book of this be set in the 1950s but that would not do for the tv series because most people watch for the 1930s style . ironically the tube train near the end be a 1950s train paint to look like a 1930s train so the underground can play at that game too . hang the storyline on a plot about the jarrow march be feeble but the 50 version have student who be begin to think about the world around them so i suppose make them think about the poverty of the marcher be much the same thing . all the stuff about japp have to cater for himself be weak too but they have to put something in to fill the time . this would have make a decent half hour show or they could have film the book and make it a well long show . it be obvious this episode be a victim of style over content .	0neg
the annoying mouse and lullaby really get to me and really have nothing to do with the story . it something i would have do my 1st year in film school . very sad . additionally and the story just seem to drag on for no apparent reason . there be too many thing just throw in there that have nothing to do with the story and which make me feel that the creative team do not really know what they be do and or just that it should have be short . which would have be a blessing and not a crime . a i have just watch all of the episode up to this point over the past week . i would have to say that this be by far the bad and and i just want to warn others not to start with this one .	0neg
i saw this film open weekend in australia and anticipate with an excellent cast of ledger and edgerton and bloom and watt and rush that the definitive story of ned kelly would unfold before me . unfortunately and despite an outstanding performance by heath ledger in the lead role and the plot be paper thin . which doesn not inspire me to read our sunshine . there be some other plus point and the support act from edgerton in particular and assured direction from jordan ( confirm his talent on show in buffalo soldier a well ) and and production design that give a real feel of harshness to the australian bush and much a the irish immigrant of the early 19th century must have see it . but i can not help feeling that another opportunity have be miss to tell the real story of an australian folk hero ( or be he . ) . in what i suspect be a concession to hollywood and sell the picture in the u . oh well and at least jordan and the producer do not agree to lose the beard just to please universal . guess i will just have to content myself with peter carey excellent secret history of the kelly gang . 4/10 .	0neg
i saw this at the premiere in melbourneit be shallow and two dimensional and unaffecting and and hard to believe give the subject matter and boring . the actor be passable and but they do not have much to work with give the very plodding and unimpressive script . for those who might have worry that ned kelly would be over intellectualised and you can take comfort in the fact that this telling of the story be utterly without any literary depth at all and tell entirely on the surface and full of central casting standard . however and it doesn not work a a popcorn film either . it pacing be too off kilter and it craft be too lack to satisfy even on the level of a mundane actioner . i very much doubt gregor jordan could sit back and say to himself this be the best i could have do with the material . ned kelly be a fascinating figure and and equally so be the national response to him . possibly folk genius and possibly class warrior and possibly psychopath and probably all these thing and he have dominate australian true mythology for over 120 year . once again and his story have fail miserably on the big screen . such be life .	0neg
ned kelly ( ledger ) and the infamous australian outlaw and legend . sort of like robin hood and with a mix of billy the kid and australian love the legend of how he stand up against the english aristocratic oppression and and unite the low class to change australia forever . the fact that the low class of the time be around 70 % immigrant criminal seem to be casually skim around by this film . indeed and quite a few so call ` fact in this film be and on reflection and a tad dubious . i suppose the suspicion should have be arouse when and in the opening credit and it be claim that this film be base upon the book and ` our sunshine . if ever a romanticized version of truth could be see in a name for a book and there it be . this wasn not go to be a historical epic and but just an adaptation of one of many dubious legend of ned kelly and albeit a harsh and sporadically brutal version . unfortunately and ned kelly be nothing more than an overblown hallmark channel ` real life historical drama wannabe . the story plod along at an alarm rate ( alarm because never have a film plod so slowly . ) the feeling of numbness after the two hour of pure drivel bring back memory of costner awful wyatt earp all those year ago . simply put and nothing happens in the film and but it take a long time get to that nothing . this would possibly have be a tad more bearable if the performance be good ( because the direction sure a heck wasn not ) . however and unless you be look to play a game of spot the bad oirish accent and then youre gon na be disappoint . between that and the game of ` who have the stupid beard . and ` spot the obvious backstabber . ( clue and they be all ginger for some reason ) and and ` nature in australia . include lion and it be an experience similar to flick through hallmark and the history channel and discovery channel and and neighbour whilst suffer a huge hangover . yup and nature pop up a lot and a to fill even more time ( possibly an attempt to look arty ) and the film keep show pointless wildlife shot and and once all the native specie be show and here a circus to allow for a camel and a lion ( which be use during one fight to try to make u actually feel more sorry for the lion than the massacred people ) . this be a turgid and emotionless piece of historical fluff which should have go straight to tv . there isn not even one good word i can say about this film . even the usually fantastic rush seem embarrass to be here . when one of the character comment that there be only 2 bullet leave for him and his pal and i myself be wish i have a gun to blow any memory of this film out of my head .	0neg
they construct this one a a kind of fantasy man from snowy river meet butch cassidy and the sundance kid and and just for a romantic touch ned and joe get to play away with high class talent and the bored young wife of wealthy old men . ok and there be lot of myth about ned kelly and but there be also a lot of well document fact and still leave space for artistic creativity in produce a good historical dramaticisation . i mean and this be not the robin hood story and not the arthurian legend and not beowulf and not someone whose life be so shroud in the mist of many many century past that any recreation of their life and time be 99 % guesswork . it only a couple of lifetime ago . my own grandparent be already of school age when ned be hang . so it silly me for fancifully imagine this movie be a serious attempt to tell the kelly story . have recently read peter carey excellent novel the true history of the kelly gang i have eagerly anticipate that this would be in similar vein . but no and the fact be that mick jagger much deride 1970 kelly be probably far closer to reality and and a good movie overall and which isn not say a whole lot for it . glad it only cost me two buck to hire the dvd . i will give it negative and and that only because some of the nice shot of the australian bush make me feel generous .	0neg
this have to be the bad piece of garbage i have see in a while . heath ledger be a heartthrob . he look deformed . i wish i would know that he and naomi watt be an item in real life because i spend 2 of the long hour of my life wonder what she saw in him . orlando bloom be a heartthrob . with the scraggly beard and deer in the headlight look about him and i can not say i agree . rachel griffith be her usual fabulous self and but geoffrey rush look a if he couldn not wait to get off the set . i be suppose to feel sorry for bankrobbers and murderer . this be a far cry from butch cassidy and which actually be an entertaining film . this be trite and cliche ridden and boring . we only stay because we be convince it would get good . it do not . the last 10 15 minute or so be unintentionally hilarious . heath and his gang be hole up in a frontier hotel and and woman and child be die because of their presence . that not funny . but it be funny when they walk out of the hotel with the armor on and because all we could think of be the black knight from monty python and the holy grail . i keep wait for them to say i will bite yer leg off . we be howl with laughter and a be several other warp member of the audience . when we leave and pretty much everyone be talk about what a waste of time this film be . i may not have pay cash to see this disaster ( sneak preview ) and but it certainly wasn not free . it cost me 2 hour of my life that i will never get back .	0neg
if the term itself be not geographically and semantically meaningless and one might well refer to ned kelly a an australian western . for the people down under and ned kelly be and apparently and a folk hero bandit akin to robin hood and jesse james and bonnie and clyde and and butch cassidy and the sundance kid . the descendant of irish immigrant and kelly become a fugitive and an outlaw after he be falsely accuse of shoot an australian law officer and a crime for which his equally innocent mother be put into prison . to get back at the government for this mistreatment and kelly and his brother dan and and two other companion and become notorious bank robber and win over the heart of many people in the countryside while strike a blow for justice in a land where irish immigrant be often treat with disrespect and disdain by those who run the country . perhaps because we have encounter this gentleman bandit scenario so many time in the past and ned kelly feel awfully familiar and unoriginal a it pay homage to any number of the genre stereotype and clichés on it way to the inevitable showdown . ned be the typical heart of gold lawbreaker who kill only when he be force to and and even then and only with the deepest regret . he also have the pulse of the common folk and a when and in the middle of a bank robbery and he return a valuable watch to one of the customer and after one of his gang have so inconsiderately pilfer it . what movie on this particular subject hasn not feature a scene like that . it act of selective generosity like this and of course and that earn him the love and respect of all the little people who come to secretly admire anyone who can get away with stick it to the power that be and the status quo . geoffrey rush play the typical bedevil law enforcer who feel a personal stake in bring down this upstart troublemaker who keep get away with tweak the establishment . there even the inevitable episode in which one of the lady be hold up go into the next room and have sex with one of the robber and so turned on be she by the romantic derring do of the criminal lifestyle . and the film be riddle with one hackneyed scene like this after another . heath ledger fail to distinguish himself in the title role and provide little in the way of substance to make his character either interesting or engage . it doesn not help that he have be force to provide a droning voice over narration that underline the sanctimoniousness and pretentiousness of both the character and the film . ned kelly might serve a function of sort a a lesson in australian history and but a an entertainment and it just the same old story tell with different accent .	0neg
this movie be so unrelentingly bad and i could hardly believe i be watch it . the directing and editing and production and and script all seem a though they have be do by junior high school student who do not know all that much about movie . there be no narrative flow that make any sort of sense . big emotional moment and climax ( like one early on between heath ledger and naomi watt ) and character relationship ( like one hint at at the very begin ) come completely out of no where and be not set up like they would have be in a more elegantly and effectively make film . the character be sadly underdeveloped and make it difficult for u to have any sort of connection with them . the acting and surprisingly and be not entirely bad and but the terrible writing cancel out the relatively convincing performance . the film play like a particularly bad t. v. western or epic and and sadly diminish the fascinating ( true ) story that it attempt to tell . i have read a lot of review that defend the film a be important to australian because of the subject matter . that all very well and but just because ned kelly be an important australian historical icon doesnt make the movie good . no one be say that the subject matter isn not good and just the quality of the movie itself . pearl harbor be about a very important historical event to american and but that doesn not mean i be go to defend the movie and say it be good and because it be still bad . a failure all around and though heath and orlando be lovely to look at .	0neg
this movie never make it to theater in our area and so when it become available on dvd i be one of the first to rent it . for once and i should listen to the critic and pass on this one . despite the excellent line up of actor the movie be very disappointing . i can see now why it go straight to video . i have think that with bloom and ledger and and rush it could have some value . all have do wonderful work in the past . the movie be slow moving and never pull me in . i fail to develop much empathy for the character and have to fight the urge to fast forward just to get to the end . i do not recommend this film even if you be think of rent it for only for eye candy purpose . it would not satisfy even that .	0neg
i think this be a very clunky and uninvolving version of a famous australian story . heath ledger and orlando bloom be very good in their role and and give their character some personality while but the whole thing felt force and mechanical . the beginning could have be a lot more involve while perhaps start with a shootout and and then flash back for a recap of how they get there or that sort of thing . and i felt like every scene be routinely predictable and signposted and like a very bad tv soap . i be really look forward to this movie and and hop for something a lot well . the only thing i can say in it favour be that it beat the mick jagger version and but not by much .	0neg
ned akelly be such an important story to australian but this movie be awful . it an australian story yet it seem like it be set in america . also ned be an australian yet he have an irish accent . it be the bad film i have see in a long time .	0neg
from the very beginning and the political theme of this film be so obvious and heavy hand and that the outcome be entirely predictable . any good textbook on write screenplay will advise layering of character and incorporate character arc and and three act structure . in this film you will find none of that . the police be the baddie and and consequently be show a shallow and incompetent and coward . it never seem to occur to the maker of this film that police might be honourable citizen who see join the police a a good way to contribute to the wellbeing of society . the viewer get no opportunity to make up his or her mind on whether ned kelly be a good guy or a ruthless villain . the film open with him be arrest for steal a horse and but we get no clue a to his guilt or innocence . we see him walk through the door of a gaol and but only know that he have be inside for three year when we hear this much later in some dialogue . this film contain many shot of ned look at the camera with a serious expression . i find the film a real chore to watch . it be the direction for modern film and and this one put me off watch any more .	0neg
i guess i be attract to this film both because of the sound of the story and the lead actor and so i give it a chance and from director gregor jordan ( buffalo soldier ) . basically ned kelly ( heath ledger ) be set up by the police and especially superintendent francis hare ( geoffrey rush ) and he be force to go on the run form a gang and go against them to clear his own and his family name . that really all i can say about the story and a i wasn not pay the full attention to be honest . also star orlando bloom a joseph byrne and naomi watt a julia cook and laurence kinlan a dan kelly and philip barantini a steve hart and joel edgerton a aaron sherritt and kiri paramore a constable fitzpatrick and kerry condon a kate kelly and emily brown a grace kelly and rachel griffith a susan scott . ledger make a pretty good performance and for what it worth and and the film do have it eye catch moment and particularly with a gun battle towards the end and but i can not say i enjoy it a i do not look at it all . okay .	0neg
i do not quite get the rating for the amati girl and i think i be really kind give it a 4 out of 10. what could otherwise have be a wonderful story with actually a set of more or less decent actor become a total farce in my eye . there be so many clichés in that flick and the woman hair be just awful and most of the scene be more than unrealistic or seem fake . there no real passion in this movie but a bunch of actor over act over any limit that it hurt . it not funny enough to be a comedy and it too fake sad to really touch and so in my eye it just not good . watch it i couldn not believe how something like that make it to my tv set in my living room in switzerland . but . maybe it still be ok and it just get lose in translation . who know . definitely one of the odd movie i have ever see and this certainly not in a good way . sorry .	0neg
this movie be awful . the end be absolutely horrible . there be no plot to the movie whatsoever . the only thing that be decent about the movie be the act do by robert duvall and james earl jones . their performance be excellent . the only problem be that the movie do not do their acting performances any justice . if the script would have come close to capture a halfway decent story and it would be worth watch . instead and robert duvall and james earl jones performance be completely waste on a god awful storyline . or lack thereof . not only be i leave wait throughout the movie for something to happen to make the movie . well an actual movie . not just utterless dialog between character for what end up be absolutely no reason . it be nothing more than common dialog that would have take place back in that period of time . there be nothing special about any of the character . the only thing special be how robert duvall portray a rambling and senile and drunk and old man . nothing worthy happen during the entire movie include the end . when the movie end and i sit amaze . amazed that i sit through the entire movie wait for something of interest to happen to make watch the movie worth while . it never happen . the cast of character suddenly start roll make it apparent that the movie really be over and i realize that i have just waste 2 hour of my life watch a movie with absolutely no plot and no meaning . it wasn not even a story . the entire movie take place in a day worth of time . that it . it be one day in the life ( and death ) of some southerner on a plantation . how much of a story can take place in a single day ( other than the movie training day ) . the act performance by the entire cast be excellent and but they be grossly waste on such a disappointment of a movie . if you can even call it a movie .	0neg
holy crap . this be the bad film i have see in a long time . all the performance be fine and but there be no plot . really . no plot . a bunch of clown talk about this and that and that your film . ug . robert duvall character be senile and keep ask the same people the same qestions over and over . this earn him the same response over and over . i be pretty sure this film get upto a six because people think they should like it . good performance with famous and well regarded actor and but the actual complete work be a steamy turd . well and maybe that a bit deceptive since steam rise from a fresh pile sound a little like something happen and in this film nothing happen . sack .	0neg
swing . be an important film because it one of the remain black produce and act film from the 1930s . many of these film have simply deteriorate so badly that they be unwatchable and but this one be in fairly good shape . it also a nice chance to see many of the talented black performer of the period just after the heyday of the old cotton club a time all but forget today . unfortunately and while the film be historically important and have some lovely performance and it also a mess . the main plot be very similar to the hollywood musical of the era include a prima donna who be go to ruin the show and the surprise unknown who appear from no where to save the day . however and the writing be just god awful and a bit trashy at time and project image of black america that some might find a bit demean . this be because before the plot really get go and you be treat to a no account bum who live off his hard work wife ( a popular stereotype of the time ) and when he be catch with a hussy ( who and by the way and totally overplay this role ) and they have a fight which look like a scene from wwe smackdown . and and the one lady want to cut the other lady with a straight razor a trashy scene indeed . later in the film and when the prima donna be behave abominably and her husband punch her in the face and everyone applaud him . it seem like the film and at time and want to appeal to the low common denominator in the audience plus they can not even do this well with some of the bad act i have see in a very long time . still and if you can look past a lousy production in just about every way ( with trashy character and bad acting and direction and poor writing ) and this one might be worth a peek so you can see excellent singing and tap dancing as well a to catch a glimpse of forgotten black culture . just do not say i do not warn you about the act it really and really bad .	0neg
there not a drop of sunshine in the sunshine boy and which make the title of this allege comedy neil simon sole ironic moment . simon and who adapt the script from his play ( which go uncredited ) and equate old age with irrational behavior and and bad and clumsy and galumphing and mean spirit irrational behavior . walter matthau be merciless on u play an age vaudeville performer talk into reunite with former comedy partner george burn for a television special ( it say they be a team for 43 year and which beg the question how long do vaudeville last and anyway . ) . burn and who win a supporting oscar and have the misfortune of come to the film some thirty minute in and after which time matthau have already blast the material to hell and back . the noisy the movie get and the less tolerable and watchable it be . director herbert ross only do solid work when he wasn not couple with one of neil simon screenplay while here and ross set up gag like a thud amateur and hammer away at belligerent routine which fail to pay off ( such a semi incoherent matthau show up at a mechanic garage to audition for a tv commercial ) . at this point and matthau be still too young for this role and and he over compensates by slouch and holler . it be up to ross and simon to tone down the character and to nuance his temperament to give the sunshine boys some sunniness and yet walter continue to project a if we would all go deaf . the picture look terribly drab and crawl along at a spiritless pace while one lose hope for it early on . half from .	0neg
i like goldie hawn and want another one of her film and so when i saw protocol for $ 5 . 50 at walmart i purchase it . although mildly amuse and the film never really hit it a stride . some scene such a a party scene in a bar just go on for too long and really have no purpose . then and of course and there be the preachy scene at the end of the film which give the whole film a bad taste as far a i be concern . i do not think this scene add to the movie at all . i do not like stupid comedy try to teach me a lesson and write by some 60 burn out especially . in the end and although i be glad to possess another hawn movie and i be not sure it be really worth the money i pay for it .	0neg
protocol be an implausible movie whose only save grace be that it star goldie hawn along with a good cast of support actor . the story revolve around a ditzy cocktail waitress who become famous after inadvertently save the life of an arab dignitary . the story go downhill halfway through the movie and goldie charm just doesn not save this movie . unless you be a goldie hawn fan do not go out of your way to see this film .	0neg
when an attempt be make to assassinate the emir of ohtar and an arab potentate visit washington and d. c. and his life be save by a cocktail waitress name sunny davis . sunny become a national heroine and medium celebrity and a a reward be offer a job work for the protocol section of the united state department of state . unknown to her however and the state department official who offer her the job have a hidden agenda . a map we see show ohtar lie on the border of saudi arabia and south yemen and in an area of barren desert know a the rub al khali and or empty quarter . in real life a state in this location would have a population of virtually zero and and virtually zero strategic value and but for the purpose of the film we have to accept that ohtar be of immense strategic importance in the cold war and that the american government and who be keen to build a military base there and need to do all that they can in order to keep on the good side of it ruler . it transpire that the emir have take a fancy to the attractive young woman who save him and he have reach a deal with the state department while they can have their base provide that he can have sunny a the late addition to his harem . sunny new job be just a ruse to ensure that the emir have further opportunity to meet her . a plot like this could have be the occasion for some hilarious satire and but in fact the film satirical content be rather tone down . possibly in 1984 the american public be not in the mood for trenchant satire on their country foreign policy while this be and after all and the year in which ronald reagan carry forty nine out of fifty state in the presidential election and his hard line with the soviet union be clearly go down well with the voter . ( if the film have be make a couple of year later and in the wake of the iran or contra affair and it tone might have be different ) . the film be not so much a satire a a vehicle for goldie hawn to show off her brand of cuteness and charm . sunny be a typical goldie character pretty and sweet natured and naive and not too bright . there be and however and a limit to how far you can go with cuteness and charm alone and and you can not automatically make a bad film a good one just by make the lead character a dumb blonde . ( actually and that sound more like a recipe for make a good film a bad one ) . goldie try her best to save this one and but never succeed . part of the reason be the inconsistent way in which her character be portray . on the one hand sunny be a sweet and innocent country girl from oregon . on the other hand she be a 35 year old woman who work in a sleazy bar and wear a revealing costume . the effect be rather like imagine rebecca of sunnybrook farm grow up and work a a bunny girl . the more important reason why goldie be unable to rescue this film be even the best comedian or comedienne be no good than his or her material and and protocol be simply unfunny . whatever humour exists be tired and strained and rely on offensive stereotype about arab men who and apparently and all lust after western woman and particularly if they be blonde and blue eye . there be a lot of this sort of thing about in the mid eighty and a this be the period which also saw the awful ben kingsley or nastassia kinski film harem and about a lascivious middle eastern ruler who kidnap a young american woman and and the mini series of the same name which tell a virtually identical story with a period setting . the film maker seem to have realise that their film would not work a a pure comedy and because towards the end it turn into a sort of latter day mr smith go to washington . sunny turn from a blonde bimbo into a fount of political wisdom and start utter all sort of platitude about democracy and the constitution and the citizen duty to vote and we the people and how the price of liberty be eternal vigilance blah blah blah and but in truth the film be no more successful a a political parable than it be a a comedy . goldie hawn have make a number of good comedy and such a cactus flower and overboard and housesitter and but protocol be not one of them . i have not see all of her film and but of those i have see this dire comedy be by far the bad . negative .	0neg
what do the executive producer do in a movie . if i remember correctly it the person who raise the financial backing to make the movie . you might notice in a great number of movie star sean connery that he be also the executive producer which meant connery himself raise the money since he be a major player . unfortunately it should also be point out that a great number of movie star sean connery be solely make because he manage to raise the money since he a major hollywood player and it usually an indication that when the credit read that the executive producer and the star of the movie be one and the same the movie itself be nothing more than a star vehicle with the story or screenplay not be up to scratch protocol follow the saga of one sunny davis a kooky bimboesque cocktail waitress who save a visiting dignitary and a a reward get make a top diplomat . likely . a thing progress m davis ( who have problem be able to string two sentence together ) find herself in more outlandish and less likely situation . when i say that protocol star goldie hawn who be also the film executive producer do you understand what i be say about the story or screenplay not be up to scratch . exactly .	0neg
outlandish premise that rate low on plausibility and unfortunately also struggle feebly to raise laugh or interest . only hawn well know charm allow it to skate by on very thin ice . goldie get ta be a contender for an actress who do so much in her career with very little quality material at her disposal .	0neg
there be only two movie i would give a negative to and this stinker and the man who fell to earth . i remember see protocol at a theater in the early 80 when i be in high school . the script be insult to anyone ( include a high school student ) intelligence . it completely lose me with the hillarious gag of someone get shot in the butt . goldie hawn be suppose to be charm but come across a vapid and moronic . then there be offensive stereotype about arab and follow by goldie win over everyone by spout populist dribble . the acting be terrible and include goldie hawn . i could not stand to see another movie she be in until imo she redeem herself in everyone say i love you . this be the kind of movie you make if you want to put no effort into screenplay writing . the bad .	0neg
the only good thing about this movie be the shot of goldie hawn standing in her little french cut bikini panty and struggle to keep a dozen other deprave woman from remove her skimpy little cotton top while she giggle and cooed . ooooof . her loin rival those of nina hartley . this movie come out when i be fourteen and that shoot nearly kill me . i would forget about it all tuck away in the naughty roladex of my mind until see it the other day on tv and where they actually blur her midsection in that scene and good grief and remind me what a smokin hottie of a woman goldie hawn be in the 80 . kurt russell must have have a fun life .	0neg
i be study catalan and and be delight to find el mar and a movie with mostly catalan dialogue and at my art house video store . hmmm . not so delighted to have see it . yes and a other reviewer have say and it well make and and beautifully photograph . although the opening sequence of the child be shockingly violent and it well act and convince . ( for the most part and that be . would the mallorquins strip a corpse in preparation for burial right in the middle of the town square and in full view of the dead man 10 year old boy . ) oh and well . minor detail . up to this point and it have something of the feel of a non magical pan labyrinth and also set in the spanish civil war . fast forward and and the three child who survive the opening incident have come of age . francisca be a nun working at a tuberculosis sanatorium and the two boy and manuel and ramallo and both be patient . i know and but hey and coincidence happen . the problem and a with so many spanish movie ( apology to almodovar fan ) and be that with one exception ( francisca ) the character be just so dang weird . their motivation and personality and and dialogue be often simply incoherent . what more and it descend into some horrific wretched excess . be prepare for lot of pain and lot of blood . the reviewer who call it a potboiler be quite on track . if it have be make 40 year ago and the poster would have say represent see forbidden love . rape . murder . mutilation . fanaticism . animal cruelty . betrayal . the opening sequence be not nearly enough to make the personality and relationship of the character believable . to work and this should have have multiple flashback to flesh out the character . a it be and it seem a bizarre and depress cross between brother sun and sister moon and pulp fiction . if that sound like something you have get to see and by all mean and enjoy . i think i go with something that doesn not make me feel i need to take a shower to wash off the gore and gloom . a for the catalan and it the mallorqui dialect and fairly different than the barcelona dialect and though i be surprise by the comment that say that even barcelonans apparently need catalan subtitle to understand it .	0neg
i be excite to view a cataluña´s film in the berlin´s competition . but after the presentation i be total disappointed and furious . too much blood and too much time and too much theme for nothing . the spanish civil war and like every war and be horrible . the revenge and a very human behavior and not pretty at all and be show in uncountable film and play and as well a the relation between homosexual and the scepticism in spain about catholicism . but what mr villaronga try and be a pseudo tragedy that can belong to the bad of the film´s history . it be really a pity to see angela molina in this movie . i advise nobody under no circumstance to go to see this film .	0neg
this film be a major letdown . the level of relentless cruelty and violence in this film be very disturb . some scene be truly unnecessarily ugly and mean spirit . the main character be impossible to identify with or even sympathize with . the lead protagonist character be as slimy a they come . the sickroom or hothouse atmosphere lend itself to over the top theatrics . little or nothing could be learn about the spanish civil war from this film . fortunately and i have be to spain and realize this be not realistic . in addition and the use of same sex attraction a a lurid horror be also very offensive and poorly handle and while the dvd be be package and advertise to attract gay viewer . the actor seem uncomfortable in their role and a if they be try to distance themselves from this mess . i guess if you like watch child and pet be brutally kill and this film might especially appeal to you .	0neg
three part horror film with some guy in a board up house implore the viewer not to go out there and ( unfortunately ) give u three tale to prove why . the first story involve a young couple in a car accident who meet up with two psycho . it lead up to two totally predictable twist . still and it quick ( about 15 minute ) and violent and well act and well do . predictable but enjoyable . the second involve a man on the run after steal a large amount of money . his car break down and he attack by a dog and stumble into a nearby clinic . very obvious and badly do and extremely slow . even at 30 minute this be too long . good act though . the third be just barely a horror story . it involve a beautiful and lonely woman look for mr. right . it have beautiful set design and a nice erotic feel and a nice sex scene . but ( again ) predictable and not even remotely scary . it end very stupidly . all in all and the first one be worth watch and but that it . tune in for that one then turn it off .	0neg
a very cheesy and dull road movie and with the intention to be hip and modern and show in the editing style and some weird camera angle and result only in sleepiness . the cast be waste and the writing be stupid and pretentious . the only thing worthwhile be the top notch lalo schifrin soundtrack and really cool and also the opening sequence and very original and interesting . run if you can and the bad opinion and comment about this flick be totally deserve while it be really pure garbage . of course that this have it charm and of watch a movie which everybody would not drop the beer glass on if it be on fire and but save it for a stormy day where you have absolutely nothing else to do .	0neg
there be some nice shot in this film and it catch some of the landscape with such a beautiful light and in fact the cinematography be probably it best asset . but it basically more of a make for tv movie and and although it have a lot of twist and turn in the plot and which keep it quite interest view and there be no subtitle and key plot development be unveil in spanish and so non spanish speaker will be leave a little lost . i have it a a xmas gift and a it a family trait to work through the film of a actor we find talented and and matthew mconaughey be just awesome in a time to kill and and the the newton boy so i express i want to see more of his work . however although it say on the dvd box it be a matthew mconaughey film and use this a a marketing ploy and he have a few line and be on screen for not very minute at the end of the film and he be basically an extra and he doesn not exactly light up the screen while he be on and so die hard fan and really not worth it from that point of view . the films star though and patrick mcgaw be great though and very easy on the eye and and his character be just so nice and kind and caring and a true saint of a guy and he would be well write into a rom com . so for true mcconaughey act brilliance of the one i have see and i would recommend and a time to kill and the newton boys frailty and how to lose a guy in 10 day and edtv and amistad and avoid too large than life and angel in the outfield unless you feel like a kid film or have kid around a neither of these be indicative of his talent and but be quite amusing film for child and again mm be really nothing more that a support artist with just a few if any line . a for scorpion springit not a bad film but it also isn not screen steal either .	0neg
when a man who doesn not have alzheimer can not remember how many film he make and he probably be the world most prolific director after all . that man be jesus franco and the king of so call eurotrash . his 1980 flick devil hunter be a rushed and opaque and stupid and lazy and exploitative in the true sense of the word ( the film title be misleading and for starter ) a any other franco film i have see . that make it sound pretty awful and and it be . yet franco do have some kind of inimitable sensibility and a generous way with the baldly outrageous and with nudity and sleaze and violence and and even with his stupid cheap edit which try to pave over the extreme haste with which all his film be make . the mix of all these element cause you to ride his film out and even while youre mostly wait for them to end because theyre so very tedious . devil hunter be nigh on incomprehensible for the first half an hour . the kidnap by stranger of a white woman who seem to be a model or film star be intercut with a bunch of native action in south america . there lot of naked writhing and dancing and and endless repeat zoom in on an ugly totem pole . you need to get use to the repetitive zoom in and the technique of cut back to the same shot about three time in a row right away and a these be franco main method of extend a film out to feature length . the monster who look like the totem pole be actually kind of scary . he have raw bug eye and his presence be always signal on the soundtrack by cacophonous groaning and apparently record in an echo chamber . early in the piece he chew on a native lady strap to a tree and and it hard to know what really happen here but i think he eat her stomach ( or her genitals and sweet jesus . ) . anyway and the adventure begin properly when a studly guy and his freak out vietnam vet pal be send to the island to recover the white girl from the kidnapper . the flakey guy have an accent which and a dub and be half brooklyn american and half english liverpudlian and all retard . all of the dialogue and dubbing be ridiculous and laughable and make for another layer of the film which can somehow hold your interest . not too much really happen from here on in and and it happen pretty sluggishly and stud with the odd bit of outrage like a rape . the nebulous action be flesh out ( haha . ) by acre of 360 degree nudity from the native and the two female lead and and even from the monster himself . that he walk around with his penis expose make wrestle him an unappetising prospect for the tough guy hero and but it get ta be do at some point and and it nice to note that the director will show anyone genitals on camera . the best feature of devil hunter be the location filming . franco can be extremely cheap with the structural and story aspect of film making and but he doesn not muck around with set . you get real island and jungle and helicopter and mountain and all in widescreen . this be something that be really cool to experience in these day of crappy cgi set and backdrop ad nauseam . ultimately and issue of recommendation where this film be concern seem moot . if youre try to see all the video nasties and you will have to watch this at some point and and you will be make as restless a i be . if you like franco and you will watch this anyway . if you fall into neither of the above category and the odds be you will never come across this film . copy of it aren not just lie around and and i could hardly recommend the seek out of it . it franco . lazy and crazy franco .	0neg
i have be look for this film for age because it be quite rare to find a it be one of the video nasties . i finally find it on dvd at the end of last year it be a very low budget movie the story be set around amazon jungle tribe that be live in fear of the devil . laura crawford be a model who be kidnap by a gang of thug while she be work in south america . they take her into the jungle laura be guard by some ridiculous native who call himself the devil she have to go though all unpleasant thing until they be happy . maiden be chain up . the devil demonstrate eat flesh in a horrible manner . peter weston and be the devil hunter and who go into the jungle to try and rescue her and .	0neg
a the number of video nasties i have yet to see dwindles and this little pile of garbage pop up on my to rent list when i saw it be available . the premise involve a fashion model or something be kidnap and take into the jungle to be hold for ransom by a motley crew of idiot . some other goof get hire to bring her back and be give a sack of money to use a a bargaining chip and though if he return with the girl and all the money and he get a significant cut . he bring a helicopter and pilot with him and and wow and that pilot be one of the bad actor ever . grant and they be all totally terrible and the dubbing will make you cry blood . after steal away into the jungle and we learn that nearby be a cannibal cult whose flesheating earthbound god wander the wood like a human king kong look for tribeswomen to ravage and devour . now and this fellow be just a naked guy with some of the bad makeup ever and ping pong ball for eye and that pretty much it . his growl and groan be an everpresent feature on the soundtrack and and i find myself mute much of those scene . oh and do i forget to mention the almost constant nudity . this be probably the main reason this film be ban and though there be one specific scene and about one second long and where the god attack a girl and pull her gut out and but it not a redeeming factor for gore fan . also and jess franco go beyond the usual t and a and show lengthy close ups of female genitals and and and sadly and male as well . so and if you want fair in term of exploitation and you get it . i can not recommend this trash to anyone . it not even the good bad movie . it just atrociously padded trash that only a video nasty fan will probably view and even then and if you be make your way through the list and leave this for the very last . if you watch it first and you may get the notion that this be the norm for the list and which be certainly not true .	0neg
not sure if i be refer to those who label this a video nasty or to the director . devil hunter sure be one bizarre horror movie . the plot be a loosey goosey combo of superior film like cannibal ferox and cut and run . chick get kidnap in the jungle by a tribe of avages . the jungle look more like a park somewhere in mexico . the tribe be like a group of hippy who walk around in party city style halloween costume rendition of tribal garb . and the savage range in race from white to asian to black to hispanic . i suppose franco just grab anyone who look even slightly ethnic for this romp . to make matter bad and this film have ultra minimal gore and no real scare and a lot of unnecessary penis . not fun . i can find something to like in just about any sleazy italian or euro trash film while this one just fell way short . negative and kid .	0neg
this video nasty be initially ban in britain and and allow in last november without cut . it feature the playboy playmate of the month october 1979 and ursula buchfellner . the opening cut back and forth between buchfellner and foggy jungle picture . i be not sure what the purpose of that be . it would have be much well to focus on the bathtub scene . laura ( buchfellner ) be kidnap and hold in the jungle for ransom . peter ( al cliver the beyond and zombie ) be send to find her and the ransom . of course and one of the kidnapper ( antonio de cabo ) manage to pass the time productively and while another ( werner pochath ) whine incessantly . the ransom exchange go to hell and and laura run into the jungle . will peter save her before the cannibal have a meal . oh and yes and there be cannibal in this jungle . why do you think it be a video nasty . muriel montossé be find by peter and his partner ( antonio mayan angel of death ) on the kidnapper boat . montossé be very comfortably undressed . peter leave them and go off alone to find laura and who have be capture by now . they pass the time have sex and and do not see the danger approach . gut and anyone . great fight between peter and the naked devil ( burt altman ) . blood and decapitation and gut and lot of full frontal and some great writhing by the cannibal priestess ( aline mess ) and and the line and they tear her heart out and which be hilarious if you see the film .	0neg
of the three title from jess franco to find their way onto the official dpp video nasty list ( devil hunter and bloody moon and woman behind bar ) this be perhaps the least deserving of notoriety and be a dreadfully dull jungle clunker enliven only very slightly by a little inept gore and a gratuitous rape scene and and load of nudity . gorgeous blonde ursula buchfellner play movie star laura crawford who be abduct by a gang of ruthless kidnapper and take to a remote tropical island inhabit by a savage tribe who worship the wouldevil god that lurk in the jungle ( a big and naked and bulge eyed native who like to eat the heart of nubile female sacrifice ) . employ by laura agent to deliver a $ 6million ransom and brave mercenary peter weston ( al cliver ) and his vietnam vet pilot pal travel to the island and but encounter trouble when the bad guy attempt a double cross . during the confusion and laura escape into the jungle and but run straight into the arm of the island native and who offer her up to their god . franco directs in his usual torpid style and load this laughable effort with his usual dreadful trademark represent crap gore and murky cinematography and rapid zoom and numerous crotch shot and out of focus imagery and awful sound effect and and ham fisted edit . the result be a dire mess that be a real struggle to sit through from start to finish ( it take me a couple of sitting to finish the thing ) and and even the sight of the luscious buchfellner in all of her natural glory ain not enough to make me revisit this film in a hurry .	0neg
how can you tell that a horror movie be terrible . when you can not stop laugh about it of course . the plot have be well cover by other reviewer and so i will just add a few thing on the hilarity of it all . some review have place the location in south america and others in africa and i think it be in some random island in the pacific . where exactly do this take place and seem to be a mystery . the cannibal tribe be conform by a couple of black woman some black men and and a man who look like a young frank zappa bang the drum . the devil god be a large black man with a terrible case of pink eye . one of the freaky moment in the film be when and pablito find his partner hang from a tree cover in what seem to be an orange substance that i assume be blood and start scream for minute on and on ( that actually funny ) and and then the head of his partner fall in the ground and pablito kick it a bit for what i assume be shits n giggle and the eye actually move . but and of course and then the freak be go when you realize the eye move because the movie be just bad . i hadn not laugh like this in a loooong while and and i definitely recommend this film for a sunday afternoon with your friend and you have nothing to do . grab a case of beer and start watch this film and you will love it . if you be look for a real horror or gore movie and though . do not bother .	0neg
a model name laura be work in south america when she be kidnap from her hotel room by a gang and take into the jungle . they demand a huge ransom for her release . peter be hire to get her home safe and there be a bonus in it for him if he can bring back the money as well a the girl . peter be take to the jungle by helicopter with friend jack . they try to give the kidnapper fake money in return for laura but the plan go horribly wrong and they have to bail out in the helicopter . the helicopter be shoot and they also have to bail from that ( not go well so far ) . also roam the jungle be a devil of sort . in reality it just a naked black guy with weirdly big eye and a breathing problem . he start to kill a few of the kidnapper and laura escape only to be capture by some primitive . the rest of the film be a bit of a blur really . now i be not a massive jess franco fan and in fact to date this be only the second film of his i have see and but even i can tell that this really isn not one of his best effort . the film drag along at a pretty slow pace without much at all happen . the whole thing could have be edit down quite easily into a 25 minute tv show . there be plenty of overly long shot of people walk through the jungle that could have just be lift straight out . devil hunter be poorly lit ( infact i do not think it be light at all ) and badly dub and poorly act and slow yet for some reason it do not bore me . i think the main reason for this be some of the hilariously bad scene in it . for example a scene where laura be walk in the street be obviously shoot in a real street a crowd of people stop to stare straight at the camera a it shooting . another funny scene have one of the gang who have be kill and hang in a tree drip blood a one of his friend stand directly under him scream for what seem like minute . then for no reason at all the man in the tree head just fall of and hit the guy under him . it have to be see to be believe . then of course there be the actual devil . it be just some naked black guy who despite the fact he have massive eye and he have very blurry vision . the film be hook up in part of the video nasty scare in the 80 here in the uk and be ban . now why it be i have no idea . there be very little gore at all and it hardly a shocking film . minus the nudity i would have say that it could get away with a pg almost . the only thing i can think of be that it be never actually watch and be add to the original list because of word of mouth . there be not much reason to watch this film really unless you be a massive jess franco fan . there be plenty of nudity to keep you from fall asleep and also some scene that be so bad you can have a good laugh at them but other wise i would say just pay for a ticket to south america and get lose in a jungle . it would probably be more fun . negative .	0neg
an actress make a movie in africa be kidnap and take into the jungle where she be hold for ransom . the producer hire some one to go and bring her back . complicating everything be the cannibal in the jungle who worship a really ugly look god who like to eat naked woman . this be a gory sleazy movie . there be copious amount of nudity and violence and not to mention violence against nude people . it an exploitation film design to appeal to the deep darkest part of our be and and if the movie wasn not so boring this film would be a classic . let face it and despite the gore and the nasty sex and abuse and and the ugly monster this movie be a snoozer . the pacing be all off kilter and it put you out . there be multiple plot line that all seem to be happen separately from each other and even though it ultimately all one story . bad of all and almost no one say anything . most of the minimal dialog concern the cruelty or one character protestations that i will do what i want . it such a quiet and dull movie that if it weren not for the frequent scream of the victim i would recommend this a a sleep aide . this be a movie to avoid unless you need sleep and or unless you need to see every euro cannibal movie . ( an aside . videoasia just release this a part of their terror tale series . their print be oddly letter box which look to be the result of take their print from a japanese source ( there be fog ) that be crop to remove the subtitle . their print also have no opening title ) .	0neg
or anyone who be pray for the sight of al cliver wrestle a naked and 7ft tall black guy into a full nelson and your film have arrive . film starlet laura crawford ( ursula buchfellner ) be kidnap by a group who demand the ransom of $ 6 million to be deliver to their island hideaway . what they do not count on be rugged vietnam vet peter weston ( cliver ) be hire by a film producer to save the girl . and what they really do not count on be a local tribe that like to offer up young woman to their monster cannibal god with bloodshot bug eye . pretty much the same filming set up a cannibal and this one fare a bit well when it come to entertainment value and thanks mostly a hilarious dub track and the impossibly goofy monster with the bulge eye ( franco confirm they be split ping pong ball on the disc interview ) . franco get a strong eurocult support cast include gisela hahn ( contamination ) and werner pochath ( whose death be one of the most head scratching thing i ever see a a guy who be totally not him be show in close up try to be him ) . the film feature ton of nudity and the gore ( tempra paint variety ) be there . the highlight for me be the world slowly fistfight between cliver and antonio de cabo in the splashing wave . sadly and ol jess pad this one out to an astonishing ( and and at time and agonize ) 1 hour and 40 minute when it should have run 80 minute top . for the most part and the severin dvd look pretty nice but there be some odd ghosting image go on during some of the darker scene . also and one long section of dialog be in spanish with no sub ( they be an option and but only when you listen to the french track ) . franco give a nice 16 minute interview about the film and have much more pleasant thing to say about buchfellner than his cannibal star sabrina siani .	0neg
devil hunter gain notoriety for the fact that it on the dpp video nasty list and but it really needn not have be . many film on the list where there for god ( and dpp ) only know reason and and while this isn not the tamest of the bunch while there isn not a lot here that warrant ban . which be a shame because i never would have sit through it where it not for the fact that it on the shopping list . the plot actually give the film a decent base or at least more of a decent base than most cannibal film and it follow an actress who be kidnap and drag off into the amazon jungle . a hunter be then hire to find her and but along the way he have to brave the native and lead by a man who call himself the devil ( hence the title ) . the film basically just plod along for eighty five minute and there really aren not many scene of interest . it a real shame that jess franco end up make film like this because the man clearly have talent while a see by film such a the diabolical dr z and venus in fur and faceless and she kill in ecstasy and but unfortunately his good film be just gem amongst heap of crap and devil hunter be very much a part of the crap . i saw this film purely because i want to be able to say i have see everything on the dpp list ( just two more to go . ) and and i be guess that why most other people who have see it and saw it . but if youre not on the lookout for nasties while there really be no reason to bother with this one .	0neg
this film seem way too long even at only 75 minute . the problem with jungle horror film be that there be always way too much footage of people walk ( through the jungle and up a rocky cliff and near a river or lake ) to pad out the running time . the film be worth see for the laughable and naked native zombie with big bulging and bloody eye which be always accompany on the soundtrack with heavy breathing and lot of reverb . eurotrash fan will be plenty entertain by the bad english dubbing and gratuitous female flesh and very silly makeup job on the monster and native extra . for a zombie or cannibal flick this be pretty light on the gore but then i probably do not see an uncut version .	0neg
sexo cannibal and or devil hunter a it more commonly know amongst english speaking audience and start with actress and model laura crawford ( ursula buchfellner a ursula fellner ) check out location for her new film along with her assistant jane ( gisela hahn ) . after a long day work laura be relax in the bath of her room when two very dubious character name chris ( werner pochath ) and thomas ( antonio mayan ) burst in and kidnap her have be help by the treacherous jane . laura agent get on the blower to rent a hero peter weston ( al cliver ) who be inform of the situation and the kidnapper have laura on an isolated island and be demand a 6 million ransom . peter be tell that he will be pay 200 and 000 to get her back safely and a further 10 % of the 6 million if he bring that back as well and fast than a rat up a drain pipe peter and his vietnam vet buddy helicopter pilot jack be on the island and decide on how to save laura . so and the kidnapper have laura and peter have the 6 million but neither want to hand them over that much . just to complicate thing far this particular isolated island be home to a primitive tribe ( hell and in all the generation they have live there they have only manage to build one straw hut and now that primitive ) who worship some cannibal monster dude ( burt altman ) with bulge eye a a god with human sacrifice and this cannibal have a liking for young and white female flesh and intestine . this spanish and french and german co production be co write and direct by the prolific jesus franco who also get the credit for the music as well . sexo cannibal have gain a certain amount of notoriety here in the uk a it be place on the video nasties list in the early 80 under it alternate devil hunter title and therefore officially class a obscene and ban and have say that i have no idea why a it be one bad film and even franco and who isn not afraid to be associate with a turkey and decide he want to hide under the pseudonym of clifford brown . i would imagine even the most die hard franco fan would have a hard time defend this thing . the script by franco and erm sorry i mean clifford brown and julian esteban a julius valery who be obviously another one less than impress with the finish product and want his name remove and be awful . it a simple and straight forward a that . for a start the film be so boring it untrue and the kidnap plot be one of the dull i have ever see without the slight bit of tension or excitement involve and the horror side of thing do not improve a we get a big black guy with stupid look over size bloodshot eye plus two tame cannibal scene . a a horror film sexo cannibal fails and a an action adventure it have no more success and this be one to avoid . director franco show his usual incompetence throughout and a decapitated head be achieve by an actor lie on the ground with large leaf place around the bottom of his neck to try and give the impression it not attach to anything . the cannibal scene be poor and the action be lame and it have endless scene of people randomly walk around the jungle get from a to b and not really do anything when they get there either . it become incredibly dull and tedious to watch after about 10 minute and do not forget this thing go on for 94 minute in it uncut state . i also must mention the hilarious scene when al cliver be suppose to be climb a cliff and this be achieve by franco turn his camera on it side and have cliver crawl along the floor . just look at the way his coat hang and the way he never grab onto to anything a he just pull himself along . the gore isn not that great and as far a euro cannibal film go this be very tame and there be some gross close ups of the cannibal mouth a it chew bit of meat and a man be impale on spike and there some blood and a handful of intestine . there a fair bit of nudity in sexo cannibal and an unpleasant rape scene . sexo cannibal must have have a low budget and i mean low . this be a shoddy poorly make film with awful special effect and rock bottom production value . the only decent thing about it be the jungle set which at least looks authentic . the music suck and sound effect become annoy a there be lot of heavy breathing whenever the cannibal be on screen . the act suck and the whole thing be obviously dubbed anyway but no one in this thing can act . sexo cannibal be a terrible film that commit the fatal mistake of be as boring a hell . the only good thing i can say be that it have a certain sleazy atmosphere to it and those close ups of the cannibal chewing meat be pretty gross . anyone look for a decent cinematic experience should give sexo cannibal a wide a berth a possible and one to avoid .	0neg
not only be it a disgustingly make low budget bad act movie and but the plot itself be just stupid . a mystic man that eat woman . ( and by the look and not virgin one ) ridiculous . if you have get nothing well to do ( like sleep ) you should watch this . yeah right .	0neg
this be the bad thing the tmnt franchise have ever spawn . i be a kid when this come out and i still think it be deuce and even though i like the original cartoon . there this one scene i remember when the mafia ape guy explain to his minion what rhetorical question be . it atrocious . many fan hate on the series for include a female turtle and but that do not bother me . so much so that i do not even remember her until i read about the show recently . all in all and it miserably forgettable . the only okay thing be the theme song . guilty pleasure and they call it . nananana ninja .	0neg
sometime in 1998 and saban have acquire the right to produce a brand new ninja turtle live action series . naturally and be a fan of the tmnt back in the day and this obviously peaked my interest . so when i start watch the show . to say i be disappoint by the end result be an understatement . some time later ( more like recently ) and i get a chance to revisit the series . first off and let talk about some of the positive . they manage to re create the turtle lair a it be last see in the movie fairly well give the limited budget they throw in with this . there tend to be this darker atmosphere overall in term of the set and whatnot . and the turtle suit and while not the great piece of puppetry and whatnot and be functional and seem pretty sturdy for most of the action stuff that would follow in the series . people tend to complain about get rid of shredder quickly and replace him with these original villain who could have easily be use in a power ranger show . but you can only have shredder get beat so many time before it get boring and undermines his worth a a villain . and besides and most fan do not realize or do not remember or just plain ignore the fact that in the original comic and the shredder be off in the very first issue . never mind the countless resurrection that would follow . so on a personal standpoint and i be sort of glad they get rid of shredder because then the anticipation would build to the point where they would eventually bring him back in a late episode . i find that shredder in small quantity work best because then his encounter with the turtle be all the more memorable . unfortunately and they end up replace him with these original villain who and a state and seem more fit for a power rangers show than a ninja turtle show . and with these new magic wield generic come a new female magic wield turtle and the infamous venus de milo . i will be honest while i never get comfortable with her . i be not against the idea of a female turtle while i be just against the idea of one who use magic and thus stick out like a sore sight among a clan of ninja turtle who seem somewhat out of their domain . i almost get the impression that this could have easily be the venus de milo show deal with her make believe enemy and the tmnt be just there to provide the star power ( or whatever be leave consider the timeframe this be release ) . fortunately and they all share the spotlight together . next mutation be can after a season on the air and the creator be more than happy to ignore it . give time and maybe another season and i really believe this live iteration of the tmnt could have be something and might have get a chance at greatness . but while the idea be sound and the execution be flaw ( although there be a couple good episode in this series ) . a it stand and next mutation be one of those oddity in turtledom that be best left bury and forget .	0neg
this be the big insult to tmnt ever . fortunantely and officially venus do not exist in canon tmnt . there will never be a female turtle and this take away from the tragic tale of 4 male unique mutant who will never have a family of their own and once go no more . the big mistake be cross over power ranger to tmnt with a horrible episode while the turtle voice be wrong and they all act out of character . they could have do such a good job and good design and animatronics and no venus . do not bother with this people . it cringe worthy material . the lip flap be slow and unnatural look . they totally disrespect shredder . the main baddie and some dragonlord dude be corny . the turtle look corny with thing hang off their body and what with the thing around raph thigh . the silly look sculpted plastron . if they look normal and act in character and get rid of venus and get rid of the stupid kiddie cartoon sound . and good write it could have be good .	0neg
i do not like the idea of the female turtle at all since 1987 we know the tmnt to be four brother with their teacher splinter and their enemy and each one of the four brother be name after the great artist name like leonardo and michelangleo and raphel and donatello so venus here doesn not have any meaning or play any important part and i believe that the old tmnt series be much more good than that new one which contain venus a a female turtle will not add any action to the story we like the story of the tmnt we know in 1987 to have new enemy in every part be a good point to have some action but to have a female turtle be a very weak point to have some action and we wish to see more new of tmnt series but just a the same character we know in 1987 without that female turtle .	0neg
i can not stay indifferent to lars van trier film . i consider break the wave nothing less than a masterpiece . i love dancer in the night . i admire the idea in dogville but the overall exercise look to me too dry and too theatrical and less cinema . europa which i see only now be a famous film at it time and succeed in the u the relative success of an european film and get the oscar for the best foreign language movie and but do not survive well the time in my opinion . it be also a too much explicit and extrovert exercise in cinema art to my taste . the story have a level of ambiguity that can not escape the viewer . treat the period that immediately follow the second world war not in the black and white color of victor and vanquished and of executioner and victim but a rather ambiguous time when people of both side be fight for survival in the aftermath of a catastrophic event that change the life of nation and individual forever be still a source of dispute even today and more such be novel and courageous two decade ago . yet it be the mean of expression that really do not appear fit to the task . the film seem to include a lot of quote descend directly from the film of hitchcock and especially his early film set in the pre war europe and with brave british spy fight evil german spy on train cross at high speed the continent at dark . the train be a symbol of the world and it conflict with all their intensity and dramatism . here the train also become the symbol of the first sparkle of the re birth of germany after war and of it might and of it obsession with order and regulation and of punctuality and civility . the character that populate the train be far from be the classical spy story good or bad guy . the principal character a young american of german origin come to post war europe willing to be part of a process of help and reconciliation find himself in an ambiguous world of destruction and corruption and with liberator look more like oppressive occupier and with the vanquished not resign to their fate but rather willing to continue on the path of self destruction and with love doubtfully mixed with treason . it be yet this classical film treatment that betray the director in this case . the action of the character and especially of leopold kessler play by jean marc barr seem confuse and and lack credibility . the overall cinematography seem to be not hitchcock like but rather from a bad imitation of hitchcock in the late 30 . the usage of color over the black and white film use in the majority of the time in moment of emotional intensity be also too demonstrative . it be not that van trier do not master his artistic mean and but he be too demonstrative and he seem to try too hard to show what a great filmmaker he be . he really be great and a he will show in some of his late film and but it will be leave to the viewer to decide this alone .	0neg
this film be terrible . you do not really need to read this review far . if you be plan on watch it and suffice to say do not ( unless you be study how not to make a good movie ) . the acting be horrendous . serious amateur hour . throughout the movie i think that it be interest that they find someone who speak and look like michael madsen and only to find out that it be actually him . a new low even for him . the plot be terrible . people who claim that it be original or good have probably never see a decent movie before . even by the standard of hollywood action flick and this be a terrible movie . don not watch it . go for a jog instead at least you would not feel like kill yourself .	0neg

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