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Sunday, 2 September 2018 Video of a dire wolf There is a video circulating around the internet, showing a very big wolflike animal chasing a domestic dog. Many newspaper articles, (such as Daily Mail and The Sun), as well as numerous Youtube links posted the video and found the creature "mysterious". They're not calling the animal a common grey wolf or a timber wolf but instead called it a "Dire Wolf". Such a creature as the Dire Wolf became extinct roughly 12,700 YBP. Also to add to the speculations already, it's said that the animal is a dogman cryptid. A dogman is a type of werewolf or wolflike creature with the body like a human or almost humanlike, but the head of a dog or a wolf, depending on the sources, witnesses and reports. Some dogmen are known to move on all fours like a regular wolf but most are bipedal, which is what many people have seen happen. That video footage reveals a half hidden animal, that gives chase to a barking dog, while the man filming the clip yells "Hey!" at the end just before you hear the dog shriek when it's close to the wolf. I shall call it a wolf for now, but there are many things about it that doesn't add up. First of all, the video isn't really that long and pretty grainy to begin to examine. The dog appears small by comparison to this big wolf, but the dog itself is not a large breed of dog either. The original uploader had cut most of the film. What we see is a shortened part. The original was showing the dog being attacked, but soon someone fired a shotgun in the air to frighten off the wolf. The dog survived with a few scratches. Now this is the story behind the video: According to the page that I included in the link above, "Monstrous wolf chases dog in northern Saskatchewan" at Stranger Dimensions, the creature appeared around that location for about a week, so the man decided to go out and film it. The man is a fishing guide, with his dog named Skipper. The dog Skipper became frantic and barked at the wolf. Skipper was then hurled into the air by the wolf. Another fishing guide shoots with a gun to scare away the wolf. The author of the article at Stranger Dimensions smugly wrote at the end: "So there you have it. It’s always interesting to see how stories shapeshift over the years, don’t you think?" Okay, the writer seems happy that the wolf turned out to be what they think is none other than a regular wolf and not a dire wolf, dogman or a werewolf. But that wolf in the video is NOT a regular common wolf. The wolf as described in the True Story at Sascatchewan is NOT a regular common wolf either. Clues in the article that show how this couldn't have been a common wolf: 1. "The wolf had already been appearing in the area over the previous week. At first, it ran away at the sight of the camera, but later returned". 2. "Immediately, one of the other guides fired a shotgun into the air, and the giant wolf retreated... it did return a few more times..." Now let me quickly tell you something about common wolves. According to scientific research of Kananaskis Country, wolves have changed their patterns to avoid humans (link to article posted below).Websites on biology, animals and wolves specifically inform the public that wolves are afraid of humans and avoid going near human places. The wolf in that video has been lingering around the site for a week. Even after gunshots were fired to shoo the wolf away, it returned "a few more times". People can say that it was after the dog. That in itself is still unique and strange because the dog is surrounded by humans and that wolf didn't kill the dog, but roughed it up.Wolves have been caught on tape at night dragging away dogs, although there hasn't been any humans in sight. Wolves are often masters of stealth. What also stands out in that quote above is that the wolf disliked the camera. This must be said that supernatural creatures such as Bigfoot hate being filmed. Most animals don't like the flash of cameras but neither do some people. That camera doesn't seem to be using any flash photography or does it seem to be an old fashioned camcorder with noise and movements. It looks as if the film was made by a small device. Often wolves are curious about cameras and sniff them. Another very different event of a wolf approaching a dog ended up with a magical story as this one: What Happens When A Wild Wolf Approaches A Dog Common wolves such as the grey wolf and timber wolf have a bad reputation anyway and they're on the endangered species list. That wolf in the video chasing Skipper has been a very persistent wolf. It kept stalking and then returned to the site. It's very large in size and powerful enough to fling a dog up into the air, while humans watched! That wolf in the video was too close to the people, as wolves usually avoid people anyway. It's not scared of humans.The wolf didn't like the camera and was more afraid of it than it was afraid of the humans. This creature didn't behave normal for what we know of common wolves. This is about all I will say for now. Here are some of the links: Video of Huge wolf attacking dog The Daily Mail story The Sun article Kananaskis study shows wolves adjust habits to avoid humans Western Wildlife on wolves

Yeti – does it exist? The hero of many films, fairy tales and computer games. It stimulates the imagination of conspiracy theorists, but it also raises concerns in the hardened minds of skeptics. The Abominable Snowman, also known as Yeti, is an example of how an inquisitive scientific world does not want or cannot find answers to the mysteries of nature that we have been hearing about for at least 100 years. However, we will try to tell you something about a mysterious inhabitant of the Himalayas and, regardless of the reader’s views, show that things are happening in the world that are sometimes hard to deny. - Status: cryptid – an animal whose existence was only suggested because there is no scientific evidence for it Where does Yeti live? - Potential locations: the Himalayan region, mainly Tibet, Bhutan, India and Nepal, as well as China, Mongolia and Russia - Other names: Man of Snow, Abominable Snowman, Migoi, Mi-go, Meh-teh et al, Kang Admi, Mirka, Bun Manchi, Dzu-teh, Michê The first information about Yeti in the West appeared in the 19th century, thanks to the accounts of Brian Houghton Hodgson, a British naturalist who researches the nature of India and Nepal. According to the description, the local Hodgson’s guide met a tall, two-legged creature in northern Nepal, covered with long, dark hair. When she noticed a man, she escaped fearfully. After this event, Hodgson said that his guide was dealing with an orangutan. The first traces of unknown creatures found in these areas were observed by Laurence Waddell in 1899. In his accounts, he wrote that he met a large monkey-like creature, leaving large traces of its feet on the ground. After looking at these traces, Waddell found that they could be bear traces. Although the military had heard many stories from the Tibetans about a large monkey-like man, he did not believe that information. However, a large creature from the Himalayas, resembling a monkey, was mentioned earlier. According to H. Siiger, Yeti was a part of Buddhist beliefs among the inhabitants of the region, mainly the Lepcha people. In the ancient Tibetan religious tradition called Bön, the blood of the so-called “wild man” was to be used in some mystical ceremonies. As you can see, the figure of “man of snow” did not come into being in our times, but much earlier. In the times closer to us, reports about an extraordinary creature from the Himalayas did not disappear. A lot of books have been written about it, including Still Living?, Yeti, Sasquatch, and the Neanderthal Enigma, by Myra Shackley, a researcher who reported two 1942 travelers in this book, noticed two black dots on the snow, moving about 400 meters below them. Despite the long distance, the travelers created a very detailed description of what they had observed. According to their information, the first character was about 2 m tall, both heads were big, the ears were very close to the skull. The arms were strongly inclined forward, and the body of the first individual was covered with rusty brown hair, forming thick fur. The second creature had the size and structure of a small man, his head was covered with long hair, while his face and chest remained naked. The first creature moved on two legs and was busy digging out the roots, from time to time making a loud, squeaky scream. True or false? Are these relationships true? Unfortunately, we will not know that anymore. However, to suggest the words of the famous mountaineer Reinhold Messner, who spent months in Nepal and Tibet, large bears and their footprints are often attributed to Yeti. This does not change the fact, however, that over the course of many decades travelers fascinated by the Himalayas met on their way mysterious creatures that move bipedal and resembling powerful monkeys. This is evidenced by numerous photographs, e.g. those taken in 1986 by Anthony Wooldridge. The authenticity of such photographs was decided many times by John Napier, an anthropologist and anatomist, who was the director of the Smithson Institute for the biology of primates. However, many of these photographs, including those taken by Wooldridge, today are considered to be an optical illusion, e.g. a cluster of dark stones resembling a double-legged figure from a distance. If the scientists obtained clear evidence for the existence of the Yeti, this creature would not be classified as a cryptid. Over the years, however, a large amount of material has been collected to suggest that Yeti reigns in the merciless mountains of Asia. In the 1960s, Sir Edmund Hillary, the first man on Mount Everest, sought evidence of Yeti in the Himalayas. During his journey, he found the scalp of the beast, but scientists later found out that the helmet-shaped creature belonged to the serow, a medium-sized mammal similar to a goat. In 2007, John Gates claimed to have found three traces of snow in the Himalayas near a stream. The locals were skeptical about these revolutions, because they believed that Gates confused these trails with traces of a bear. For many years, it was believed that there was a Yeti finger in the Nepalese monastery. It was discovered in the 1950s, but in 2011 scientists found it to be a human finger, perhaps belonging to a monk. Russians on the Yeti tracks Recently, the Russian government took such an interest in Yeti that it decided to hold a conference of experts and send them to the west of Siberia. The expedition took place in October 2011 and was attended by, among others, the Big Foot seeker and biologist John Bindernagel. After returning from his research, he stated that he had found evidence not only of Yeti’s existence, but also of the fact that they formed nests of branches. The team of experts appeared on the covers of many magazines all over the world, when their members declared that they had gained undeniable proof of Yeti’s existence. Based on their observations and research, they concluded that their confidence in this matter is 95%. The evidence of Yeti’s existence was supposed to be the remains of moss in caves and found grey hair. However, it was not necessary to wait long for the opposition of other scientists taking part in the expedition. One of them explicitly stated that potential evidence of Yeti’s existence is mystification. Even Jeff Meldrum, a professor of anatomy and anthropology at the University of Idaho, who de facto supported the existence of the Big Foot, suspected that the intertwined branches of trees that were supposedly the nest of the Yeti were a forgery. Meldrum even risked saying that the entire Russian expedition was just a marketing trick aimed at increasing tourist traffic in the impoverished mining region. For the supporters of Yeti’s theory of existence, his elusiveness for decades has simply been proof of his rarity and / or loneliness. Theories on the origin of Yeti The most frequently used argument by opponents of the theory of the existence of Yeti is a misinterpretation of photographs and ignorance of Himalayan fauna and flora. Yeti can be confused with animals such as Himalayan brown bear (Ursus arctos isabellinus), Tibetan blue bear (Ursus arctos pruinosus) or monkeys (Colobinae). Some skeptics, however, do not rule out the possibility that the alleged Yeti is a wandering hermit. It was loud to find the hair in Bhutan that had been collected during one of the expeditions. DNA analysis was performed by Bryan Sykes, who discovered that hair samples, belonged to the brown bear and Asian black bear (Ursus thibetanus). The account of the mountaineer Reinhold Messner, who claimed to have met Yeti face to face, was shocking. He described it in his book My Quest for the Yeti, adding that he killed one of them. However, he later stated that Yeti is the Himalayan brown bear or a Tibetan blue bear that can move on both its four and two limbs. In the 1980s, research was carried out into unusual traces resembling traces of a large human being. Researchers Taylor, Fleming, Craighead and Shrestha have shown that these traces belong to young Himalayan bears, who spend most of their time on trees until they are about 2 years old, in order to avoid attacks from older and larger animals. The way the feet were arranged during climbing attempts on the tree could create a human footprint. These discoveries led directly to the creation of the Makalu-Barun National Park in Nepal. The park was to protect over 500,000 ha of forests. In 1991, the Qomolangma National Park was established in Tibet to protect more than 2,400,000 hectares of land. Robert H. Bates, honorary president of the American Alpine Club, said that the mystery of Yeti, or at least a part of it, had apparently been discovered. He stated that Yeti leaves these traces on the ground, which would indicate that he lives on trees and not on high peaks of mountains. Some people speculate that these creatures may be surviving representatives of a Gigantopithecus – a monkey that died out around 100 000 years ago. Yeti, however, is usually described as a two-legged animal, while the Gigantopithecus, due to its weight and height, probably moved on four limbs. To be honest, the Yeti at the Gigantopithecus is … a little Miki 🙂 In 2013, a number of analyses of hair samples from unidentified animals from northern India, more specifically from Ladakh, were carried out. The samples were compared with the polar bear gene sequence. The results of these comparisons were not clear, possibly due to contamination of the sample. Professor Brian Sykes, who conducted the analysis at Oxford University, has his own theory on this subject. He believes that a sample of not fully identified hair can come from a hybrid of two bear species: brown and polar. The descendants of Yeti live in the Caucasus… British geneticist Bryan Sykes analyzed the DNA of Abkhazian family. This family claims that it comes from a “Wild Woman” named Zana. Research carried out by Sykes shows that these people come from a group of hominids that came from Africa. Zana lived in the second half of the 19th century in the village of Tchina and was afraid of the local population… although she was tame. On the subject of where her descendants came from, we will not write much more 😉 Yeti – potential dimensions - Height: 180-210 cm (found in North America, the Big Foot, also known as Sasquatch, is reported to be 2-3.5 m high) - Weight: 90-180 kg (Big Foot weighs approx. 220 kg) Yeti – curiosities - In 2003, a Japanese researcher and mountaineer Dr. Makoto Nebuka published the results of his twelve-year research into the word “yeti”. He considered that the word originated from the “meti” word, which in the Tibetan dialect means ‘bear’. According to him, the Tibetans are afraid of bears and love them as supernatural beings. The results of his long research were almost immediately flooded with a wave of criticism, and the scientist himself was accused of linguistic negligence. - A Yeti-like individual called the Big Foot is found in North America. It was told by indigenous inhabitants of the North-Western Pacific Coast. - Other names for the Snow Man include: Michê (“Man – Bear”), Mirka, Migoi or Mi-go (“Wild Man”), Bun Manchi (“Jungle Man”), Kang Admi (“Snow Man”).

You may have seen some recent articles on the “British Bigfoot” phenomenon, or perhaps you’ve seen more talk of unknown hominids in the wilds of the UK on various social media platforms. However, there is a researcher who has been at the forefront of data gathering and mapping of sightings in the UK. Deborah Hatswell has been researching cryptid encounters in her homeland for decades, and has a wealth of information on those sightings on her website britishbigfootsightingreports.com. “This experience changed things for me and I have been lucky enough to study the possibility of wild humans or hairy hominids in the UK for almost four decades now. I have expanded my search across Europe and into Russia taking accounts from people and mapping them for others to see and share.” The Encounter That Started It All In the early eighties, Hatswell encountered a large, hairy hominid in a park on the outskirts of Manchester, England. While Manchester and its closest city to the east, Liverpool, may be sprawling cities, they lie between a trio of vast National Forests with the Forest of Bowland to the north, Peak District National Park to the southwest and Snowdonia National Park further southeast of the cities. Hatswell details her encounter below: I lived close to or next to Buile Hill park for most of my life until i was in my late teens, I spent most of my days in the park or around the park, it was a good area to play, no [homeless people] were around till after dark and people avoided the area at night for some reason. When I was around 14/15 I had my experience with something I’m still trying to work out to this day. I saw something come out of the bushes that I still don’t really believe even to this day. I will probably spend my whole life asking myself “what did I see that day…” It was 1981/82 late May early June, it was warm and breezy and just a beautiful day. It was the time of mock exams I think and it was nearly large Summer holiday and term would soon be over and with nothing important going on myself and my friend who was new to the school sneaked off around lunchtime to the park, we were having so much fun we rebelled and skipped the afternoon lessons. The area where we were had an old mansion called Summer Hill with a sensory garden right next to it. Its pretty run down and overgrown, with massive trees and rhododendron bushes, tall grass, an unused golf course and there was a huge Victorian green house left to go to ruin and the landscaped gardens have more or less returned to nature. there are Rabbits, Squirrels, back then there was also a small petting zoo. Its hilly and there is also a swampy water course in the lower SW corner with a large sluice drain entrance. “There is no way he should have been there…” That day we were hidden between the house and the sensory garden and behind the foliage which opened up. I would say we were there for about an hour ish, making noise, giggling and rolling around, maybe at around 2:00pm I noticed a movement within the leaves and “he” just leant forward out of the greenery. I froze at the size of “him.” I could only see “him” from about mid chest area up so it was mostly his face on view, but we were only about 8ft -10ft apart so we got a good look at him, I fixated on his eyes and mouth as I could see his teeth, (not because of a facial expression just that his mouth was slightly open) his mouth was same as ours but his jaw was huge, he had dark tanned weathered skin and was covered in dark dark brown hair that looked auburn where the sun caught it. He had huge shoulders and a massive chest, he looked like a Man/Ape like a human and an ape had combined somehow. He was very tall and there is no way he should of been there. It was like a time slip almost, one of the many things I have tried to tell myself over the years. But at that time I thought he was a monster. I was so scared I reacted with an almost primal panic and pushed my friend to the ground (I’m still ashamed of that to this day) and I ran like the wind. I turned back to see if he was following us and to make sure my friend was up and running and I saw him just lean back into the greenery. He blended in with the bushes somehow. I have no way of explaining this. Even with my knowledge of Cryptids and hominids I still have no reasoning for why I would of seen him in an impossible place but I did, and luckily for me other people have seen him here too and they have shared their accounts with me and others online. So I’m one of the lucky witnesses and I have spent decades helping others find their answers. I tried to go back three times and could never do it, the fourth time I had a virtual panic attack but I made it through the day OK. What Hatswell’s Encounter Set In Motion Although she did not realize it at the time, her being the unexpected and unwilling observer of such a strange creature that should have never been where it was sparked what is now the most comprehensive collection of cryptid sightings in the UK. Hatswell describes her journey from witness to researcher. “The sighting I had all those years ago, set in motion a journey of 36 years, I questioned myself so many times over the years and of course many other people asked me the usual questions of What did you see? How did it get there? What if you dreamt it? What if you imagined it all? Why are people not reporting similar things? And a whole host of other questions, for years it bugged me having to keep answering them over and over and I realized the only way I could answer these for myself was to start looking. So I set about doing just that, I looked for other people who had seen something similar to me, in the beginning it was a very slow process, as the years went on I would find more and more stories the same or similar to mine, and people would send me accounts of their own or ones they had sourced online and in many a forum and chat room. With a huge Atlas Map pinned to the wall I set about mapping the exact area of the accounts, and as I added each one I began to see patterns forming, routes almost. Not only that but a pattern in the descriptions too, around 7ft tall, hairy, ape-like creature on two legs, broad shouldered, muscled legs, arms and chest. Mostly males or subject off in the distance walking upright and moving off into the trees. I noticed as each account was added people heard or read them word of mouth would bring me so many more who recognized something very close to an event experienced by them or someone they knew. With the help of some friends we set up the British Bigfoot Research team that has grown into a whole community of interested people, researchers, bloggers, and vloggers and a whole host of witnesses and experiencers, each account brings in another person who has seen for themselves an upright, hairy hominid or have experienced some of the similar habits you have heard about worldwide, the bluff charges, the distraction technique to move you on or scare you from an area, accounts of howls and footprints found way up in the mountain ranges or in the River Valleys below. In the last couple of years the subject has grown and we collect and database all the structure finds in the hopes of one day working out what they are and if they are of use to us in the search for answers. We can now answer all of the FAQ and there are many theories as to what we have seen and I feel it’s for the individual themselves to decide what theory works for them. I hope to continue to bring people forward and put researchers together with like minded people.” You can find Deborah Hatswell on her website, YouTube Channel and Twitter. Check out our Facebook post below for our Bigfoot, Dogman and Mothman shirts sold through Amazon.com! Like and share it too! it helps tremendously with our outreach!

Modern day Thunderbird Province is the most inclusive and accepting among Wizard Cultures in North America, despite being highly racially charged in the 19th and early 20th centuries, much like the Mundane culture that surrounds it. The majority of mages who can trace their lineage to Asian magical cultures in North America reside in this province. Mainstream provincial culture is largely driven by the four main population centers, Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, and San Francisco, but hidden enclaves abound in the high deserts, mountains and valleys, on the many coastal islands, and in the frozen tundra to the north. Politically, it’s the most liberal of the Provinces, much to the frustration of the Traditionalists of Destiny and Solaris, and provoking a rivalry with Mishipeshu to the east. Wizards in Thunderbird tend to be judged by what lasting contributions they have made to the Magimundi, and not necessarily by how much Leeuwendaalders they command. Wizards are respected for their frugality rather than their ostentatious display of wealth, and many Magimundi recycle or upcycle castoff Mundane items into new and unique fashion and artificery. Freecycle caches abound and you’re more likely to gain credibility for wearing used and vintage robes and items than to have had to stoop to purchase something new. Wizards here tend to be quirky and connected to nature, seeking to live in harmony with the flora, fauna, and the mundane humans with whom they are inextricably connected. There’s a robust community of philanthropists, and the Magimundi Headquarters of the United Cinnabar Societies is located on Maury Island in the Puget Sound, along with other ecological and social welfare organizations that seek to ensure a level of comfort and compassion for all beings. It is the greatest crime for someone’s cries to go unheard, to turn one’s back on a human — magical or mundane — a creature, or a crisis. Wizards in Thunderbird will open their doors to strangers and generally are a hospitable, giving, and trusting sort. The detriment of living in fear and despair is far greater than the occasional risk of someone betraying the open kindness and trust. There are ancient rivalries between the the magical creature Mishipeshu, or water panther, who ruled the waters of the Great Lakes and the rivers of the plains, and its nemesis, Thunderbird, who flies over the mountains of the Northwest, bringing storms and fire from the sky. These arcane conflicts continue to be played out on a political scale between the provinces of the same names. For example, on October 11, 1972, the Mishipeshu Provincial region surrounding the city of Denver declared itself to be part of Thunderbird Province. Citing a cultural shift and rather pointed differences of opinion between regional justices, the declaration challenged the uneasy peace among the five provinces. Intense negotiation between Justices took place, and on January 1, 1974, the Edict of Reallocation made the change official, placing the Denver area, including Boulder and Colorado Springs, in the Thunderbird Province. Though Mishipeshu province was granted considerable concessions, including another 500 years of taxed Leeuwendaalders from the Denver region, the entire incident is still considered to be a humiliating black eye on the Mishipeshu Province, and the rivalry between Thunderbird and Mishipeshu Province remains acrimonious.This extends all the way to the Council of Five, where Thunderbird Arch Justice Fidelia Windwalker is frequently at odds with Mishipeshu Arch Justice Montgomery McBride. It is rumored that some of their rivalry is more performance than perfidy as the two are often seen amicably socializing, but as representatives of their respective provinces their constituents’ interests must be kept at the forefront. The Province is quite diverse with large pockets of wizards from many Asian cultures, with Japanese, Chinese and Filipino being the most represented. There is also a substantial number of Magimundi who trace their heritage to British, German, Ukrainian, and old Norse cultures. Some of these communities are quite insular, so some magical traditions from the Old World have survived nearly unadulterated, though others have developed a unique Thunderbird slant based on the exposure to other traditions. When U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt signed executive order 9066 on February 19, 1942, the Wizard Janice Maeda, an influential activist, declared that she would not stand idly by as the Mundane Government of the United States and Canada prepared to relocate and detain Japanese American citizens in internment camps. Declaring that the Edict of Mundane Separation and Secrecy was inviolate, most provincial Magimundi looked the other way, electing not to intervene despite the abominable conditions at the camps. In defiance of provincial authorities, Janice Maeda said “I do not wish to live in a world that will tolerate this atrocity” and set upon a course to confront Mundane army officials and thwart the enactment of the order. On March 24th, Janice Maeda hand-delivered a letter to Arch Justice Windwalker declaring her intention to assassinate Mundane General John L. DeWitt if he issued Civilian Exclusions Orders to the Japanese American Citizens on Bainbridge Island. Against the pleas of officials not to intervene and risk exposure of the Magimundi, Janice Maeda traveled to Bainbridge Island, where she was fatally wounded by spells cast by Marshals later that morning. DeWitt’s orders were issued without interference. Reports of the activist’s death proved to be incendiary, with the majority of students at Lewis and Clark leaving the school in protest the following day. For the next three years, Thunderbird Province found itself in a crucible of distrust and suspicion with its community openly challenging the Province Justices and Fonctionnaires, often shouting the popular chant, “Are your eyes open?!?” a direct accusation of “turning a blind eye” toward the injustice. It is widely considered that it was at this point that Thunderbird Province’s values began to shift towards the liberal end of the political spectrum, further than the Mundane World culture at the time with regard to equality and inclusion. In the 1990s, mysterious incidents began to take place in Thunderbird Province, and an investigation began. Among incidents of violence in popular nightclubs with confused witnesses, property destruction in warehouses or other thought-to-be-vacant structures, incidents of arson in business and residential districts, and finally the complete demolition and structural collapse of West Point Sewage Treatment Plant brought the full attention of the Thunderbird Province Marshals. It was discovered that two factions of vampires who resided within the Province had an escalating conflict that was starting to spiral out of control. It appeared to have originally been a cold-war type of conflict, but had now become cases of overt warfare, that was starting to impact bystanders with no small amount of collateral damage. Province officials and Justices assembled, and it was decided that the vampires displays of supernatural powers in their conflict could potentially damage the secrecy of the Magimundi, and action would have to be taken. During this discussion, Marshal investigators Mary and Morris Hayes who were observing several vampires in a keep-the-peace operation were attacked by one faction, who then rather clumsily tried to fabricate evidence that the rival faction was responsible. Mary died as a result of her injuries, and Morris was disfigured permanently. Marshals from across the Magimundi, incensed that some of their own had been harmed by the vampires, assembled on the Province, and began preparations for war while the Edict of Extermination was proposed among the Council of Five on January 4, 2004. On January 5th, a single night of intense violence took place, and the vampires engaged in open conflict with each other, almost the entirety of both forces being wiped out in a catastrophic series of defections, double-crossed, and betrayals. Before the Marshals could engage, a very desperate overture of peace was delivered to Thunderbird Arch Justice Fidelia Windwalker. Vampires that were not involved in the conflict along with the few straggling survivors had been made aware of the Marshals’ eminent attack, and pleaded for mercy, declaring themselves refugees. After an evening of deliberation on January 6th, Arch Justice Windwalker withdrew the Edict of Extermination from consideration of the Council of Five. The remaining vampires of Thunderbird Province would be considered to be members of the Magimundi, and subject to Marshal authority and province laws, an act of kindness that is quite unappreciated by both the Magimundi and the Vampires. Communities of vampires are integrated into Magimundi society in this province, unlike any other province, where they remain separate and also hidden, with more or less acrimonious relationships. A keen interest in certain of these enclaves of vampires began among the Mundane world in 2005, and members of both the vampire and Magimundi communities have had to redouble efforts at secrecy to avoid Mundane pilgrims. Fortunately, the frenzy seems to have peaked by 2012 and shows signs of waning. The Province has kept alive the tradition of the Chinook Jargon or Chinuk Wawa language, a hybrid language used among various First Nations tribes and later as a trading language among Coureurs de Bois, trappers, traders, and prospectors. It also allowed the North American Giant to converse with Magimundi, particularly as the last Sasquatches fled to the Pacific Northwest after their near extermination in the Magma Wars. Unfortunately the Sasquatch population never recovered and none have been sighted in more than 50 years, prompting the recent official declaration of extinction by Provincial authorities. Today, remnants of Chinuk Wawa remain in popular use among the Magimundi and the Principal of the Province Primaschola is known as the Tyee, friends are tillicum, and if something that is solid, strong, or cool it is said to be skookum, though this last word can also refer to a ghost or evil spirit. Most well known is the term Cultus Iktus (worthless stuff), which most Wizards of the province use to refer to mundane technology. In most provinces, mundane technology is considered to be completely unthinkable for inclusion in the Magimundi at all. Even so, Thunderbird Province does feature the most public interest in technology, though mundane tech is generally considered a trivial interest pursued by youth and a few eccentric wizards, tolerated, though with a measure of condescension. Lately, groups of young mages have set up artificery shops in warehouses and basements, and have embraced the Cultus Iktus epithet as a term of power. Refusing to be derided for their proclivities, the Cultus Iktus counterculture openly flaunts mundane tech such as smartphones and proclaims algorithmic programming languages to be a new form of arithmancy. Magic and technology are an unpredictable combination, and interactions between them can be dangerous and difficult to control. Too eager forays into these untested waters is seen as foolhardy at best and downright dangerous by many. This attitude was bolstered after the experiments of Pileus Tenembrae in the SoMa District of San Francisco in the early 1980s. Tenembrae was an accomplished golem-maker, who had worked mostly in clay, stone, and other natural materials. He began working with metal and then with circuitry and wires and switches in attempts to store magical energies and increase the degree and longevity of his control over what he referred to as Silicon Golems, but were the Magimundi’s first known creation of Homunculi Constructs. The confluence of the magical energies and the electrical surges made them unpredictable, and some believe they developed a kind of para-sapience. Two escaped his warehouse and boarded a ship from Pier 39, where mundane passers-by assumed they were street performers. Tenembrae attempted to intercept them and was injured when he attempted to deactivate them by removing the runic incantation from their throats. Artificiers suspect that the Constructs forced Tenembrae’s own magical energy backward through his brain, causing him to revert to a pre-verbal, simian-like state. Tenembrae is currently living in Swindlehurst Institute for Magical Ailments and Afflictions, and his presence in a room frequently causes any object containing a circuit to malfunction. Tenembrae’s Silicon Golems were never recovered and some believe these Constructs continue to roam the Redwood Forests along the coast, having divined a way to maintain their connection to sustain their magical energies. The northernmost reaches of Thunderbird Province are occasionally visited by the exceptionally rare and reclusive Snow Dragon. Based on limited sightings and drawings, Cryptozoologists speculate that the Dragon is native to Siberia, but has a migratory range reaching over the polar region into North America. It’s speculated that global warming and climate change has negatively affected the Snow Dragon’s prosperity, which has contributed to the protectiveness of the reclusive cryptid as well as the emphasis on environmentally safe practices in Thunderbird Province. Every few years, ambitious Cryptozoologist Wizards will mount an expedition to “recover” the Snow Dragon, but as they head north and leave behind the Provincial Authority of the Provinces, they find the independent communities of Wizards of the northern part of the continent will not offer aid or assistance to anyone who has “taken an interest” in the Snow Dragon. As can be expected, Snow Dragon expeditions are frequently catastrophically disastrous, and many have no survivors. Among the reported information from the failed missions: Snow Dragons can and will trigger strategic collapsing of the elaborate cave systems that they dig into ice and the frozen ground on trespassers, Snow Dragons will feint attacks on camps, draw out the Wizards, flee, then circle around to steal supplies so that their hunters die of exposure rather than in conflict, Snow Dragons will trigger avalanches, Snow Dragons can alter the lustrousness of their white scales, making themselves virtually undetectable in snow, or blindingly brilliant by reflecting sunlight, and finally that Wizards who make their homes in the extreme northern regions collaborate with the Snow Dragons to thwart the expeditions. Very rarely, artifacts made from Snow Dragon scales, bones, or teeth, do emerge on the market, though these are believed to come from aging Snow Dragon leavings, and not from any systematic hunting of the creatures. The true properties of Snow Dragon parts as magical ingredients are unknown or speculative, which rather counter-intuitively increases their market value as potential solutions to problems with existing potion recipes or artifact design, leading to a market saturation of counterfeit Snow Dragon components. In the northern reaches of the province is Diamantstøv, magical city made of ice and quartz, a mythical place that cannot always be found. It seems that it appears only at certain times, though a pattern has never been discovered. It is a pilgrimage place for Magimundi members, and seeking it is a legendary quest undertaken by the most erudite or desperate wizards. Renowned Magimundi scholars and healers live in Diamantstøv and seekers of secrets of the esoteric and arcane undertake the goal to find it and be accepted by the city. It is conjectured that Diamantstøv travels between the planes of existence and thus is only in this world occasionally. Other than Thurstan Warwick, whose claims were widely discredited, no one has ever returned from Diamantstøv so it is believed that finding it means one never leaves — either by choice or by force. Many claim to glimpse Diamonstøv from the distance, and some associate it with the magic of the Snow Dragon. Wizards who die a noble death are believed to reappear in Diamantstøv, prompting legends that Parthena Cloudborne and Janice Maeda are now citizens of this city. Their spirits are believed to ride along the Northern Lights until they enter the city. Thunderbird is the seat of crystallography and metallurgy, stemming from the rich deposits in the area and under the tundra to the north. The Province is home to the magical mining industries, and stores of ore for smelting and crafting. This includes precious gems, ores, crystals, stones, and fossils. Since the end of the Magma Wars, generations of legendary crafters and smelters reside in a reclusive community near the summit of Mount Tahoma where they craft the most exclusive metallurgic magical artifacts. In the early days of the Province, several illegal mining practices were commonly used by less scrupulous wizards, from simply charming an existing group of miners and stealing their ore, to the catastrophic technique of “seismic mining”, deliberately causing an earthquake to reveal ore veins (and often drive off mundane miners.) In 1853 the Edict of Terrestrial Accountability firmly regulated mining in the Magimundi, though pockets of illegal practices continue to do this day. Thunderbird Province has a persistent poaching problem of the magical creatures native to the province that Marshals have struggled to entirely eliminate in spite of frequent arrests. Unkind speculation alleges that the poaches are organized in Mishipeshu province, and that its officials offer tacit permission to conduct these poaching raids. No admissible evidence has emerged to support this allegation. Most Magimundi in the province are very earthy and in tune with nature, seeking to protect the wild spaces and beautiful vistas, particularly with Ecodefense Magic. A unit of Ecodefense Cryptozoologists have mastered the art of commanding the Wasco, the half-wolf, half-grampus land and sea-dwelling magical creature, to disrupt whaling ships, over-fishing, bottom trawling, and to protect the migratory routes of salmon. Thunderbird Wizards with the highest powers are said to be able to command the Lightning Serpents, much like a Thunderbird itself can do. Magical energies and spirits course through water, rocks, trees, and other flora, and attunement to nature is a honed talent among Thunderbird Province, with specialized training in fox-walking, tracking, and other mindful activities regularly offered. Wands made from woods in the region are considered very powerful, particularly the Pacific Madrone, which has unique — and slightly unpredictable — quality to it, making it unwieldy to all but the most skilled artificers. With the exception of fallen branches (considered gifts of the tree), harvesting wood for wands and artifacts made from Giant Sequoia and Coastal Redwood are forbidden by Magimundi law. These elder trees are often Oracular, and those with Divination Powers have received prophetic or extra-planar transmissions from them. Furthermore, Sequoia and Redwood are often actually Tamawhim, sentient tree spirits with formidable yet fickle arcane power and those intent upon harming an elder tree face not only legal consequences but the possibility of retaliation by other Tamawhim or unleashing Goblin Ghosts. Inspection of a wand or object will reveal whether the wood was taken from the tree through violence or gifted as the result of limb dropping. A Sequoia or Redwood felled by natural means may be used to create Miwakuzou, or enchanted statues that are often placed in areas of particular magical significance. It is common practice for Thunderbird Magimundi to leave enchanted items at the base of trees, in doorways, at magical shrines, cemeteries, and other significant places to honor deceased relatives and provide protection from malevolent spirits. Salt mined from the Great Salt Lake is ritually used to provide protections, particularly during the Hungry Ghost Festival, when the gates between this world and the world of the dead become fragile. Totem Poles are a rare but notable artifact in Thunderbird Province. Magimundi poles are distinguishable from Mundane poles usually by their greater height, and the enchantments to protect the western red cedar wood from age and the elements. The poles ostensibly depict a story, but usually also contain a hidden message, the most prized discovery being the means to learn the incantation and casting of a spell or ritual. Because interpreting the story is dependent on a great deal of contextual information, deciphering the hidden message is nearly impossible without having first-hand experience of the particular culture of the community that carved the Totem Pole, and it’s usually reported that it costs less to be have a guide teach you the spell or ritual itself than the means to correctly solve the Totem Pole’s riddle. In the Thunderbird Province, most students attend the Lewis & Clark Institute of Magic, led by current Tyee Phoenix Rising. This primaschola was founded in 1808, after the arrival of the wizard duo, Meriwether Lewis and William Clark in 1805, who joined forces with Comcomly, chief of the Chinook, to create the school. It is rumored that Lewis & Clark used divination and arithmancy along their voyage, as well as the journals of New World Magischola co-founder Étienne Brûlé. Some say they had the aid of his magical compass as well, but that has not been confirmed. When they arrived, the Chinook mages were expecting them, having long foreseen a group of travelers bearing furs in their packs and fur upon their faces. Prior to the founding of the formal primaschola, magical education was handled informally by tribal elders. The school is shrouded in the dense evergreen forests, its buildings covered in thick moss and lichens. It disappears into the natural world around it, and moves its location every year so as not to unbalance the ecosystem with their institutional footprint. Finding one’s way back to school each September can be a bit of an adventure, and school leaders treat it as such — a kind of survival quest to divine the location and navigate there. The school is closed for two weeks annually for Lunar New Year. The Institute is known for being rather unconventional and earthy, with a very open admissions policy and a friendly relationship with the mundane world. The school’s magical curricula is taught in integrated form, with a lot of hands-on learning to balance magical theory. Lewis & Clark Institute believes that magic can benefit the mundane world, and innovations in permaculture, plant yield, and ecosystem management that were created using magical means have been covertly gifted to mundane scientists to assist with environmental and agricultural problems. Often Magimundi healers work through the network of Mundane Herbalists, Acupuncturists, Homeopaths, energy workers, and permaculturalists to distribute their potions, brews, palliatives, and solutions. Mundanes from all around the area come to Mount Shasta to bottle the mineral waters that flow there, not knowing that the healing comes from the magical residue that Thunderbird Wizards infused into the crystal seams the water flows over. While some other schools have more conservative opinions about magical creatures sometimes considered dark or inferior, all are welcome at Lewis & Clark. Students at the school tend to fervently support the cause of Chupacabra freedom, believing the practice of farming them and exploiting them as guards for Avernus Prison is illegal and immoral. The school’s curriculum focuses particularly on homeopathic healing and ritual magic, and faculty there also developed the art of Psychoacoustics, which sometimes gets expressed as Music Magic. Recent forays into infusing Psychoacoustics with Mundane amplification systems and electronic components such as wah-wah pedals and auto-tuners have had unpredictable results, usually whimsical. A notable example is lead singer Sylvyr Savchenko’s voice being irrevocably cursed with the throaty ululating growl of a Tufted Puffin. Fratercula bandmates have embraced the new sound and the effects of the Music Magic on fans resulted in a surge in album sales post-Puffin. A unique recent phenomenon emerging around the school are student clubs whose goal is to reverse engineer mundane technology to examine its potential applications in the Magimundi. As many know, traditional magic has a destructive effect on electronics, and the clubs are quite divergent with their approach to fix this problem: those who are trying to to create magical artifacts that can perform the same advanced feats of the mundane tech are considered to be rivals with those who are trying to re-engineer spells and enchantments themselves to eliminate the burst of magical energy that appears to wreck electronic devices. Smaller groups have the lofty goal of finding a way to fully integrate the magical world with advanced technology. This advancement is not to everyone’s enjoyment. Seattle-area Justice Ramshorn Torkel, a rather liberal figure on most issues in his region of Thunderbird Province, has vociferously made his disdain for these kinds of innovations known. The Justice has declared that the polarization of magic and technology is an essential part of the success of the Tradition of Secrecy and that careless innovation that bridges that gap in culture threatens both the Magimundi and the mundane world’s continued to survival. It is believed that Justice Torkel’s disapproval has kept an official course of study regarding mundane technology from becoming part of the curriculum at Lewis & Clark, though the student led groups have not yet been banned. Students at Lewis and Clark are divided into five houses: - Ma Jun: Named for the Chinese Artificier from early 3rd century CE, this house emphasizes creativity and innovation. The house’s culture appeals to the introvert, emphasizing the mental acuity of students and the concrete results of experimentation, and de-emphasizing argument and rhetoric. The motto is attributed to Ma Jun himself, “Empty arguments with words cannot (in any way) compare with a test which will show practical results.” - Comcomly: Named for the Chief of the Chinook Confederacy at the turn of the 19th century, this house emphasizes a stark self reflection and also perceptiveness. Key to the house’s culture is the idea that a person’s personal narrative about themselves detrimentally affects their ability to accurately perceive all other information. Since self-deception is so pervasive, the house has a generally cynical culture, though members would insist it’s merely pragmatic. Their motto, “Distrust the most comforting thought,” while not attributed to Comcomly, is believed to be aligned with the Wizard’s cynical approach to divination and astromancy. - Maeda: Named for Janice Maeda, the Japanese American Wizard made famous for her activism and martyrdom in 1943. Maeda’s, activism included demanding inclusion of Wizards of Asian heritage into the Magimundi, as well as objecting to practices and traditions that were dividing the various immigrant magical communities and covertly providing advantage to Wizards of European descent. She is responsible for leading the opposition to the Edict of Mundane Separation and Secrecy during the internment of Japanese American Citizens by the Mundane US Government. The house has embraced Maeda’s outlook on confronting fear in the motto, “Fear is the south pole of my moral compass,” and members are continually trying to find the balance of bravery and bravado, true courage and overconfidence. The culture puts a strong emphasis on physical exercise and its members learning to duel. While objecting to violence, the house believes that these things prepare the mind to be able to act while confronted by a crisis. - Muire: Named for Jeanne Muire, staunch preservationist and environmentalist, who as a student in 1934 had begun the enchantments that allowed the school to easily be relocated every year and did so without permission. Narrowly avoiding expulsion, she would eventually return as a Professor and when elected Tyee in 1962, completed the work she had begun as a student, completing the ritual that allowed the school to magically travel to it’s new location. In addition to appealing to environmentalists and nature-lovers, the house culture focused on that of remaining resolute and persisting towards one’s goals. The house motto, “By all lawful means” which is attributed to Muire, is indicative of their belief that one must work within existing systems to succeed. - Windwalker: Named for Arch Justice Fidelia Windwalker, this house was formed at the start of the school year in 2004 specifically for the Vampires that had joined the Magimundi. As such, its culture is still new, but largely appears to be based on ideals of self restraint and careful consideration of others, and the house specifically welcomes all magical sentient beings that have been accepted into the school. Humans have also joined the house since 2008. Outside of class time, flannel shirts, beanies, and Birkenstocks abound at the modern day Lewis & Clark, with a hefty dose of asymmetrical bangs, dyed hair-tips, and large-framed glasses with clear lenses. Fashion is described as quirky, colorful and eccentric, with the goal of cultivating a unique style that distinguishes oneself. Most notable is the student tradition of tying their school ties in the most tortured and ugly knot possible while still being visually identifiable as a tie. This “art” tends to follow the student to their Magischola education, much to the frustration of uniform purists. Optional Cliques: Vampires, Environmentalists, Political Activists, Psychoacoustic Artists, Metallurgy Enthusiasts, Healing Vocationals

This article from the Wenatchee World newspaper was recently brought to my attention. Thanks for the shout out, Paul! The Worm: ‘Strange Days,’ sightings from NCW “Strange Days” search: In NCW, you’re probably more likely to encounter a Sasquatch than a celebrity. Now Paul Graves of Wenatchee has done both. Standup comic and former “Full House” star Bob Saget embarks on a new TV project with his A&E reality show “Strange Days,” due to premiere on the cable channel sometime this year. The show features Saget immersing himself in “different unusual cultures from the world of mail-order brides to joining a survivalist cult prepping for the end of the world to rushing a fraternity,” according to A&E. Q: What does this guy have in common with the guy below? A: Mysterious, unconfirmable sightings in NCW. Among the show’s early expeditions was a three-day Olympic Peninsula quest for Sasquatch, led in part by Wenatchee artist, musician and cryptid-hunter Graves, 49. He’s long been associated with the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization, a private group that seeks out evidence of the mysterious woodland humanoids (called “Choanito,” or “Night People,” by the Wenatchi Indians). Graves estimates he’s probed some 300 Sasquatch reports in the Wenatchee area alone, most recently a direct visual sighting up Blewett Pass five weeks ago. He’s also recorded what he believes are Sasquatch calls, and played one for Saget’s crew that he captured near Lake Wenatchee two years ago. Saget and his crew joined Graves and fellow researchers, including Cliff Barackman of Portland (who blogged the affair) and Tom Yamarone of Pleasanton, Calif., for their Bigfoot-hunting weekend in early April. The segment has no confirmed airdate as yet. Graves said he felt the show producers were impressed with the expedition. “It’s always an interesting subject for the public, and it’s one that’s not gonna go away,” he said.

Mood: Festive, Energetic Music: Christmas Lights, by Coldplay Happy Holidays all, it would appear that the season is upon us. Thanksgiving is over and I now find myself preparing for Christmas. Well, that and Meán Geimhridh, the Celtic winter solstice. I plan to build a replica stone circle in my back garden that will line up with the setting winter sun on Dec. 23Rd. But anyways back to Christmas. The season of giving is here, and so I think some thanks are in order. But before I start, please let me say that I am thankful for all you readers, it would be nothing without you. Now with that said, I think we should begin. (A small note, these are in random order, I just wrote them as they popped into my head.) *ahem* I, The Raven King, am thankful for: Saphira Bjartskular, Dragons, Wyrms, Sea Serpents, Cryptids, Cryptozoology, Lake Monsters, Lochs, Europe, Computers, Blogs, Steve Jobs, Nikola Tesla, Bill Gates, JRR Tolkien, Skulduggery Pleasant, Albert Einstein, Tim Burton, Danny Elfman, Edgar Allan Poe, Ray Bradbury, John Keats, Uthire Pendragon, J.R.R Tolkien,Chris Marten, Thomas Riley, Coldplay, Phoenix, U2, Daft Punk, Paramore, Paranormal Researchers, Brazing Goggles, Mothman, UFO's, Point Pleasant, Paranormal Authors, Ghosts, Reptiles, Dido, The Broken Bells, Oingo Boingo, John Lennon, Pink Floyd, Aragorn, Gandalf, Tanith Low, Drake (from the tunnels series), Data, Edward Steam, Victor Evernight, Thomas Riley (the character this time), Barnaby Grimes, Black Tigers, Regular Tigers, Spotted Lions, Flying Snakes, Switzerland, Giant Lizards, Melangistic Big Cats, The British Big Cat Society, SteamPunk, Magic, Dragons (again), Poetry, Science, Gloom, Ipods, Laptops, Merlin, Music, Airships, Mysteries, His Majesty's Dragon (series), Evil Genius (book), Large Black Greatcoats, Purple Tinted SteamPunk Sunglasses, Alice In Wonderland, The Lord Of The Rings, Ghost And Paranormal Researchers, Truly Dedicated Cryptid Researchers, Apple Computers, Airman, Artemis Fowl, Space Travel, The Fact That Space Shuttles Are Getting Retired, Slashdot, Thinkgeek.com, Dracula, Brahm Stoker, Narnia, The Tunnels Series, Quantum Physics, Skulls, Blogspot, Dragons (yet again, I love them), KnightRider, Star Trek, The International Society Of Cryptozoology, The Loch Ness Monster Fan Page, Grooveshark, Night Vision Goggles, Etsy, Gifts, DARPA, Robots, NASA, Blender, Illusions, Free Software, DOSBOX, Playing Cards, The Prestige, BlendSwap.com, Instructables, Rush, Josh Groban, Enya, R.E.M., Soundtracks, Runes, Fantasy, Magic, Poetry, Technology, Science, Art,The Middle Ages, Books, Movies, Illusions, Dreams, Machines, Droid Phones, The X Files, Swords and Other Ancient Weaponry,Programming, Christopher Paolini, Ancient Sites (Such as Stonehenge), Mysteries, Dreary, Sad, or Gloomy Things, Robotics, Animation, Directing, Puppetry, Astronomy, Mechanics, Physics, Alchemy, History, Dragons (YES AGAIN), Writing, DIY, Dark Matter, The Unknown, The Universe, SteamPunk Couture, The Elvish Language, Science Fiction, Writing The Evernight Chronicles, Elvish Couture, Stone Circles, Gears, Steam, The Celts, Armor, Swords, Pikes, All Manner Of Cool Weaponry, Canes, Scarves, Theater, Thespians, Tophats, Goggles, Encyclopedias, Libraries, Black Leopards, Ireland, Scotland, Superstitions, AND DRAGONS, DEAR, LOVELY WONDERFUL DRAGONS!!!! And thank you again to all you readers out there! Take a bow! Before you go, leave me a comment about your SteamPunk, Fantasy, or just cool Christmas ideas to help make this holiday season truly unforgettable. The Raven King

WHAT A LONG STRANGE TRIP IT’S BEEN – PART TWO I first became interested in mystery animals at the age of seven when my mother presented me with a library book called Myth or Monster. I was living in Hong Kong with my parents, and was already fascinated by the world around me. My bedroom windowsill was host to a motley collection of jam jars, fish tanks, and shoe boxes overflowing with examples of the local wildlife, but in what turned out to be one of the pivotal epiphanies of my life, I suddenly discovered that some people believed in hairy apemen lurking in the foothills of the Himalayas, and mysterious giants in the depths of Loch Ness. Just as when, a few years later, I discovered that girls were different to boys, and that far from being the “ long haired twits” that my parents had berated, fellows brandishing electric guitars could – and did – make a life affirming racket, my life was never to the same again. Twenty-three years later, at the age of thirty, I became a professional cryptozoologist, and the subject, which had enthralled me since childhood, became my life’s work. Without question, the most iconic unknown animal [cryptid] is the Loch Ness Monster. For centuries there have been reports of giant creatures seen occasionally in the largest lake of the British Isles, but it was only in the mid-1930s when monster fever hit the United Kingdom in the wake of the original King Kong movie, and General Wade’s military road made Loch Ness accessible to the general public for the first time, that monster sightings began to proliferate. It would be a great mistake to see the events at Loch Ness in isolation. There are several other lakes in Scotland, quite a few in Ireland, and others dotted across Scandinavia, Northern Europe, Northern Russia, Canada, and parts of the U.S. where “monsters” have been reported. Generations of theorists have speculated that these creatures are surviving prehistoric marine reptiles, but this hypothesis just does not make sense. - These animals would have been air breathers. There are just not enough sightings to support a viable population of air breathing animals. - There simply is not enough biomass in many of these lakes, including Loch Ness, to support a viable population of large creatures. - It is highly probable that animals such as Plesiosaurs would have given birth on land. There have been land sightings, but again not enough. - The vast majority of these lakes would have been frozen solid during the last Ice Age. - There is no evidence whatsoever that any of the giant reptiles, or indeed any non-avian dinosaurs survived the KT extinction event of 65 million years ago. On top of this, many investigations, most recently by the BBC, who three or four years ago spent several million pounds on a documentary proving that because no sonar patterns of air filled lungs were picked up during a sweep of the loch that no air breathing animals of great size were living in the lake. This is all well and good, but it is grossly unscientific to say that because no animals of one type can be living in a specific location, that no large creatures of any type can be living there. My colleagues and I at the Centre for Fortean Zoology [CFZ] – the world’s largest mystery animal research organisation, have believed for many years that if there are indeed giant creatures in these northern lakes, they would have to be enormous fish, probably eels. In 2003, we were given a piece of video footage which is now on our website. It has been interpreted as a giant eel – twenty foot long – thrashing around, probably in its death throes from a chronic infestation of ichthyophthirius, a parasitic disease found on freshwater fish. Webcam pictures of freshwater fish at the time show that this disease – or one closely related to it – had reached epidemic proportions on the salmon and trout population at that time. Since then we have been enthusiastically espousing the giant eel theory to explain lake monster sightings across the Northern Hemisphere. The trouble is with eels, is that they just simply don’t grow to that sort of size – not officially at least. The angling literature for the past century and a half has produced occasional reports of massive specimens, but according to accepted wisdom at least, the European eel (A. anguilla) reaches a maximum size of three foot (females) and two foot (males). The current record for this species – and even this is accepted by most experts as a lusus naturae – is just over four feet. Whenever we have approached either icthyologists and members of the angling community we have been told that our hypthesis just cannot be. Something that has always intrigued me is that – with one large, and glaring exception – every body of water is inhabited by a monster – at least according to those who live, and fish there. Every great lake has its version of “Nessie” and every village pond is the haunt of “the biggest perch you ever saw; it bit young Billie’s leg while he was paddling last year, honest sir”. The one exception is the English Lake District. OK, Cliff Twemlow wrote a massively entertaining, but zoologically nonsensical novel about a giant pike in Lake Windermere a few years back, and renowned children’s author Arthur Ransome alluded to giant pike in the waters off Wildcat Island, but there is no historical tradition of lake monsters from the largest extant lakes in England. Not until now that is. On 23rd July 2006, between 12 and 1 o’clock, Steve Burnip, a holidaymaker from Hebden Bridge in Yorkshire was standing with his wife and some friends on Watbarrow Point, a small rocky promontory just below Wray Castle on the western shore of the lake. It was a fine July afternoon and one of the warmest on record. They saw a disturbance in the water that looked like a boat wake. It was caused by an animal which appeared to be at least twenty feet long and which was moving faster than a rowing boat. They saw what appeared to be a head and two portions of a long grey body, and although they watched the animal for approximately a minute, no visible eyes or facial features could be seen. Steve had a camera in his pocket – a powerful digital instrument with 8 mega-pixel capacity, but by the time he thought of using it, the creature was too far away. He did take a photograph, which we have seen. It appears to show several slate grey humps in the water, approximately fifty yards away, but for personal reasons Steve – at the moment at least – is loathe to release the picture to the press. A week or so later, he told the story to the editor of a local newspaper – a personal friend – and on Friday, 18th August we were contacted by a reporter from the Westmorland Gazette who had googled the subject of giant fish in the UK and found that after our encounter with a giant cat fish in Lancashire during 2002, that we were generally considered to be the UK’s leading experts on the subject. We were immediately interested and as a result of our conversations, the paper ran a follow-up story appealing for further witnesses. Over the next month we received six further eyewitness accounts. Interestingly, one was from the late 1950s, and another from the early 1980s. The other contemporary sightings followed in much the same pattern as Burnip’s, but – for me at least – the most exciting account came from Kevin Boyd, an amateur diver who is extremely conversant with the wildlife of the area, and has seen eels of over six feet in length on a number of occasions, both in Windermere, and in the neighbouring lake of Coniston Water. On 11th October, a five-person team from the Centre of Fortean Zoology travelled to the Lake District for a three-day fact finding mission. The team consisted of: · Jonathan Downes. Team leader, Director of the CFZ, author, cryptozoologist, and journalist specialising in freshwater creatures. · Richard Freeman. Zoological Director of the CFZ, expert in Lake Monster and Dragon stories worldwide, author and cryptozoologist. · Mark North. Assistant Director of the CFZ, author and folklorist. · Lisa Dowley. Amateur Archaeologist and CFZ investigator, and driver of one of the mission’s two cars. · Corinna James. Administrator, writer, Jon’s fiancee, and driver of the other CFZ car on her first cryptozoological investigation. We were also accompanied by Jon Ronson; journalist, author, documentary filmmaker and radio presenter. He has been a mate of the CFZ’s for a decade and has long wanted to accompany us in the field. With Jon were Laura, a producer from Radio 4, and Dominic, a cameraman from The Guardian. Organising even the most simple CFZ excursion seems to take an inordinate length of time, and this – featuring as it did eight different people scattered all over the country was logistically somewhat more difficult than normal. Things were complicated by the fact that I was seriously ill throughout September, and although I had recovered enough to travel to the Festival of Fishkeeping in sunny Hayling Island the previous weekend, together with my long suffering and very beloved Corinna, I then managed to contract a heavy cold, and mild bronchitis, and spent much of the two days between our return to CFZ HQ from Hayling Island, and our departure for the Lake District. I relied on Corinna and Mark to load up her little turquoise car with the equipment and luggage necessary, and languished in bed coughing and spluttering, and quaffing Lemsip and honey until the very last moment, only emerging, sounding - and probably looking - like a bad tempered and somewhat elderly walrus, a few minutes before we left. There is a lovely line in Moby Dick about “setting sail into the dark Atlantic” and I am always reminded of this when, after the hour or so it takes for us to leave my native North Devon, when we finally enter the busy sea-lanes of the M5. I felt particularly sorry for Corinna. Not only was I in a foul mood, coughing and spluttering like a grampus, but our journey was interrupted every few minutes with incessant mobile phone calls from newspapers, radio stations, and television companies. Having learnt from previous expeditions, how once the newspapers get hold of the story they stick to it like terriers to a badger (with me being the badger), I had carefully refrained from publicising this – our first trip to the Lake District. I had always intended that if we decided at the end of this exploratory investigation that there was, indeed, a bona fide mystery worth solving, this would only be the beginning. My great hero is, was, and probably always will be, Gerald Durrell, and as the CFZ progressed over the years, I have tried to base its modus operandi upon that bequeathed by Durrell to the wildlife preservation organisation which now bears his name. I have no truck with self-styled monster hunters who spend a few days of their summer vacation travelling to exotic (or not so exotic) locales, carry out a half-arsed investigation, and then push off back home stating confidently that as they have not seen the creature in question that it cannot exist, only to do exactly the same thing with another cryptid the following year. The CFZ has a commitment to long-term investigations; we have been to Sumatra twice, and are going back again soon, are intending to revisit Mongolia in either 2007 or 2008, and right from the beginning I intended that should deem the investigation to be valid, the Lake District project will last for at least 12 months. So, I felt no need to involve the media at such an early stage, but like moths to a flame (with me being the flame), they swooped in and did their best to take over the entire expedition. I am always in a difficult position here. I need the media far more than they need me, but I am an awkward son of a bitch, and nothing irritates me more than having the activities of the CFZ curtailed by media intrusion. At Martin Mere we had wasted nearly an entire day because someone from Sky News wanted to film us from every conceivable angle, and then spent several hours asking us intrusive and impertinent questions. However, I tried to maintain cordial relations with the gentlemen of the press, and so during our journey I did several interviews, and agreed to meet TV crews for a number of live broadcasts. By the time we reached Birmingham, the parallels with Herman Melville’s novel were getting more and more evident. The rain beat down upon the windscreen of our tiny car and it did seem like we were a tiny wooden ship buffeted by the elements, as we headed into the unknown. OK, the crew of the Pequod sang sea shanties to lift their spirits while we listened to a compendium of Hannah Barbara theme songs followed by selections by T.Rex and Rammstein, but the parallels seemed good enough to us at the time. When Corinna couldn’t handle driving any further, we stopped for copious amounts of coffee and buns before continuing our journey towards the frozen north. In the car, Corinna, Mark and I were feeling in quite a bouyant mood, and we were pleased to hear from Richard that he and Lisa had already arrived at Windermere and were busily getting their bearings, and finding out the locations of local businesses with whom we would have to liaise during our sojourn in the Lakelands. These included marine chandlers, a fishmongers, and an Internet café; and I mused to myself how not only Melville, but Arthur Ransome himself, would have been quite au fait with the first two, but would not have had even the slightest inkling of the pivotal importance of a cyber café to a cryptoinvestigative anabasis during the early years of the 21st Century. The journey took an interminable length of time, and dusk was falling as we drove along the A591 from Kendal towards Windermere itself. I had only been to the Lake District twice before in my life. Once as a child in 1967 (the year of Ransome’s death) and once as a slightly mad and very stoned adult during my misspent years working in the music business. At the time I was part of the touring party for Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel and we played an eminently forgettable concert in Kendal Leisure Centre before making our way back down south for the next gig. However, immediately upon entering Windermere I felt at home. Since I was a small child I have been a devotee of Arthur Ransome’s immortal Swallows and Amazons books and have read widely on the subject. For once, visiting somewhere that I have explored in my head a hundred times was not a disappointment. I was to find over the next three days that the genius locii of Ransome’s self-reverential Lake District transferred itself perfectly to the real Lake District of the 21st Century. Throughout the three days we spent there I found myself becoming ridiculously over-emotional when I saw yet another place that was exactly how I had imagined it to be. What Ransome had not prepared me for, however, was the massively eccentric proprietor of our B & B. He was like a cross between Adrian Edmondson and Basil Fawlty, and once one began to appreciate his wry and somewhat peculiar sense of humour, one became almost fond of him. It has got to be said that he should be commended for having put up with the disruption that the arrival of eight peculiar and self-opinionated investigators and media types caused, without so much as batting an eyelid. He showed us to our rooms, archly warning us not to spill anything on the carpets, smoke, or touch any of the made up beds that we weren’t actually going to sleep in, before grinning manically and disappearing. We unpacked, showered and went downstairs, to find that not only were Richard and Lisa esconsed in the reception lounge, but that Jon Ronson had arrived and was stalking around like a slightly predatory water bird, brandishing a microphone under people’s noses and asking questions about our plans for the next three days. His producer was not to arrive until the following day, and Jon was doing a very creditable performance at trying to record material for a fly-on-the-wall radio documentary about the investigation. I have always been rather fond of Jon and – to his credit - he never let his role as humerous journalist get in the way of the main matter at hand. We spent forty minutes or so discussing what was to happen next. Richard and Lisa had already interviewed one of the eye-witnesses in Manchester on the previous evening, and had been mightily impressed with his testimony. This interview had been with a man who had seen something strange in the lake as far as back as 1959 and established that this lakeland phenomenon, which was nowhere near as famous as the one at Loch Ness, at least had an impressive provenance. At half-past eight there was a knock on the door, and a tall, weather-beaten man joined us. It was Kevin Boyd; the diver who had seen extra large eels in both Windermere and Coniston Water on several occasions over the past few years. If one needs one word to sum him up it is ‘capable’. He is the sort of man who can turn his hand at most things, and we liked him immediately. He was strong, confident, and intelligent, and on hearing his testimony we were convinced – as if any convincing was needed – that there was no doubt that some individuals within the eel population in both of these great lakes do indeed reach sizes far in excess of what they should do. Whilst we were talking to Kevin, the door opened again, and Dominic – a mild-mannered, friendly and highly professional photographer - walked in. He had been sent by The Guardian to cover the events of the next three days, and although none of us (including, I suspect, Jon Ronson) were expecting him, he turned out to be one of the nicest blokes we have met in a long time. One of the things that I like about these expeditions is that we make friends very quickly and very easily, and after an evening spent in the pub it was like we all had known each other for a heck of a long time. I have known Richard and Mark for well over a decade, Jon Ronson intermittently since 1997, and the two girls for only a couple of years, but we soon found that we had forged into an impressive, and quite formidable, investigative unit. We retired to bed soon after closing time, whereupon I received a telephone call from Radio 5 Live. I had completely forgotten that I was supposed to be doing an interview for them about the expedition. The interview had been scheduled for quarter past midnight, but a very apologetic producer telephoned to tell me that “all hell had broken loose” in the BBC offices because a light aircraft had flown into a tower block in New York. Of course, the news gathering machine which had built up since the tragic events of 11th September 2001, had kicked into action, and although it appeared that it was merely a tragic accident in which only two people were killed, the spectre of another major terrorist attack loomed over all concerned, and it was not at all surprising that I had to wait until one in the morning until I had my interview. By the time I did, I was half-asleep, but I acquitted myself well, even managing some mildly witty jokes upon being told that one of the national newspapers had dubbed the beast of Windermere as “Windy”. My suitably veiled ribald comments seemed to amuse the presenters who asked me to come back in a few week’s time and tell them what – if anything – we had discovered. I slept like a log. This is unusual for me, as when I am alone in my bed at night I quite often do not enter the arms of Morpheus before dawn. However, when sleeping next to the woman I adore, I sleep like a baby, without recourse to the chemical cosh, and I was really quite surprised at eight o’clock the next morning I realised it was time to get up. I have always thought that the English breakfast was probably the main contributing factor to us having gained the biggest empire the world has ever known. It is hard to imagine Cecil Rhodes, Clive of India, the Duke of Wellington, or Major Richard Sharpe, subsisting on a handful of nuts, a latte, and a cheese croissant, and so it was particularly gratifying to find that mine host had laid on one of the most impressive full English breakfasts that I have sampled in many a year. After breakfast I gave one of my daily expedition briefings, which are familiar to anybody who has ever been on a CFZ expedition. However, Richard was the only person who had been into the field with me before, and I hope that the newcomers were not too put off by what I had to say. I come from a military family, and basically the only way I know to run even the slightest of expeditions is as some sort of analog to a military operation. Lisa and Corinna were dispatched to find somewhere that we could hire a boat on Coniston Water, and Mark to find the library. The girls soon found somewhere where we could hire a boat at a ridiculously low cost, and as Mark scuttled off to find out whether the library had a reference section which he could use to research any incidents of lake monsters in lakeland folklore and the historical record, the rest of us hurriedly reshuffled our plans for the next three days. We had originally intended to spend the Thursday interviewing witnesses, and to spend the Friday out on a boat in Lake Windermere, where – accompanied by Kevin the diver – we would lay bait sacks primed with a chemical attractant which is allegedly irresistable to predatory fish. However, on the previous evening two events had conspired to make this schedule unworkable. Firstly, Kevin told us that it was impossible to dive on Lake Windermere without a permit – and even then, only in strictly proscribed areas. However, he tempered this blow by telling us that although he had seen one extremely large eel the previous summer on Windermere which – allowing for the distortion caused by viewing through glass and water – was at least eight feet in length, he had seen eels of six foot plus in a particular location on Coniston Water on a number of occasions. He told us that the best time to dive for them was just after dusk, when, several times, he had witnessed a mass of eels of varying sizes carpeting the floor of the lake about forty foot down. Amongst them had occasionally been fish in excess of six foot in length. The second curve-ball was that Jon Ronson had pressing business in London on the Friday evening, and would, therefore, have to return on an afternoon train. We teased him that as a media luvee, he couldn’t bear to be away from the exclusive restaurants and fleshpots of Islington for more than 48 hours, but we knew that he had a young family that he dotes on, and was loathe to be away from them at weekends. Therefore, we planned to do the exercise with the boat and the diving in the late afternoon of the Thursday. However, we still had three appointments to deal with before then, so as time was of the essence, we summoned Mark back from the library and left our digs just before 10 o’clock. Mark had had a mildly disappointing time. The area of the library that he wanted to peruse was out of bounds that morning because of a meeting, so he came back empty handed and feeling mildly grumpy. However, he had a present for me; the first of several books that I was to pick up that week on the subject of Arthur Ransome and the real life background to his novels. Our first appointment was at 10.30 that morning. We were to liaise with a TV crew and a bevy of newspaper reporters at Watbarrow Point – the sight of Steve Burnip’s sighting back in July which had kickstarted the whole expedition. On the map, it looked quite easy to get to, but as always seems to be the case, the reality was far less inviting. We drove in convoy; us first, Lisa and Richard following in her somewhat sinister looking 4 x 4, and Jon and Dominic keeping up the rear. We made our way to Ambleside at the head of the lake, and although I knew that it had been demolished over half a century ago, I looked out for the hexagonal summerhouse which had provided an eminently satisfactory ‘North Pole’ for the Swallows and Amazons in Winter Holiday (the fourth book in the series). Once we had left Ambleside behind us, things started to go wrong. We had agreed with the TV company to liaise at Watbarrow Point having been assured by the adenoidal girl on the ‘phone that it was easy to get to and that there was a large car park. And there wasn’t. More by luck than judgement, we found ourselves in the pouring rain parked in a small car park just beneath Wray Castle. The air was sundered by the incessant baying of large dogs, and I waxed lyrical upon the subject of hound trails – the traditional lakeland pastime described so evocatively by Ransome in Swallowdale – the second of the lakeland books. However, it was nothing of the sort; it appeared that the local police were training guard dogs there that day. Richard and I filmed each other doing brief introductions for the expedition as we waited for the TV company to arrive. However, although they were meant to be there at 10.30 we received a number of prevaricating ‘phone calls and they finally turned up at quarter past eleven, as did a seedy looking man in a grubby raincoat who introduced himself as a reporter from some paper I have never heard of. What I should have done at this point, was to tell them that they had left it too late, but being a trusting sort of cove I accepted their assurances that not only was Watbarrow Point a few minutes walk away, but that they would only want to film us for a maximum of ten minutes, giving us plenty of time to return to Bowness for our next appointment at mid-day. Malcolm McLaren once said that one should never trust a hippy. This hippy now says that one should never trust TV journalists – at least as far as scheduling is concerned. It took us the best part of a quarter of an hour to get down to Watbarrow Point, by which time Richard and Lisa were only able to stay there before having to return to the digs for their next appointment. However, Mark, Corinna and I, together with Jon Ronson and Dominic stayed at the Point to play the media game and to grok Watbarrow Point in its fullness. Throughout the three days, I felt the ghost of Arthur Ransome breathing down my neck. Everywhere we went we could see his fingerprints across the landscape, and it came as no surprise to find that Watbarrow Point was one of the locations that Ransomeologists have postulated as being the location of ‘Darien’, the place where the first book in the series begins. As my researches continued, I found that although Ransome claimed that the four Walker children in his books – the eponymous ‘Swallows’ – were merely figments of his imagination, it seems that this is not quite the case. As a young man Ransome had been in love with Dora Collingwood, the daughter of the author of Thorstein of the Mere, a favourite book from his childhood. Although Dora had gently rebuffed his advances, Ransome remained a friend of the family, and when she married Dr. Ernest Altoynan, a half-Armenian, half-Scottish/Ulster physician who spent most of his working life in Syria, Ransome not only remained friends with the couple, but, when in 1928 the family returned to their native Lake District on holiday, Ransome befriended their four children, and incorporated them into the novel he was writing. For the purposes of the narrative, the eldest daughter, Taqui, underwent literary gender reallocation and became ‘Captain John’, but the other three; Susan, Titty, and Roger, were transferred relatively intact to the book and its sequels. Titty was one of Ransome’s most eloquent creations; a sensitive, spiritual, and literary, child; she was perhaps the nearest to her real life counterpart. For the record, her real name was Mavis, but her nickname came from a much loved Victorian children’s book called The Tale of Tattymouse and Tittymouse, and generations of adolescent smutty jokes, and snide remarks by alternative comedians during the 1980s were dreadfully misplaced. The fictional Titty had named the promontory upon which the four children had sat looking longingly at the great lake after a poem by Keats which describes the emotions felt by the explorer and genicidal murderer Cortez upon first seeing the Pacific Ocean. I found myself singing Neil Young’s Cortez the Killer (which, told the same story from a totally different perspective) as I strode uncertainly towards a landscape so familiar to me from Ransome’s prose, and charming pen and ink illustration. It was an idyllic scene. The rocky promontory towered out over a tiny bay in which the water was so crystal clear that you could see the tiny fish swimming happily in the waters below. The trees of the ancient wood towered over us as I sat on a rock and answered a series of questions which I had answered so many times before. How had I become involved in cryptozoology? Did I really believe there was a monster in the lake? Did I believe in Bigfoot? Were we really going to catch a twenty foot eel? About half way through, as I was posing in ever more unrealistic contortions for the TV and newspaper cameras, we were joined by another pair of reporters – this time from the Westmorland Gazette; the illustrious organ without whom we would not have been there in the first place. Both the reporter and the photographer from the Westmorland Gazette were of a significantly higher calibre than the others we had met. Their questions were intelligent, insightful, and they seemed to have a genuine interest in who we were, and what we trying to do. As the questions and photo sessions progressed, the rain came down harder and at one point Corinna lent me a very fetching lilac brolly which made me feel for all the world like one of the Teletubbies as I sat beneath it answering fatuous questions from the gentlemen of the press. By this time we were running seriously late and so I did my best to truncate the session so we could have at least some chance of meeting our 12 o’clock witness. Alas, this was not to be. The first, and least attractive, of the newspaper people had insisted that we bring our fishing net and traps down to the lakeside edge. Although knowing full well that we were on a tight schedule, the TV grabbed these nets and high-tailed it to the other side of the promontory to do arty cutaway shots of nets swooshing through water, and this held us up even further. By this stage I was getting cross, and as my mobility is somewhat more impaired than that of any other of the party, I started to trudge my weary way up the hill towards the Wray Castle car park, leaning heavily on my walking stick. It took nearly a quarter of an hour for us to retrieve our equipment and make our way back to the car. Richard, and Lisa, had left forty five minutes previously, and – or so we had been informed by a text message – were now comfortably esconsed in a friendly hostelry in Windermere with the witness. Jon Ronson and Dominic followed us as we drove through the twisting lanes towards Ambleside and then Windermere. By the time we got to the pub to meet up with Richard, Lisa and our lunchtime witnesses – Mr and Mrs Gaskell who had seen the creature whilst boating on Windermere during July – we were not in the best of tempers, and nearly an hour late. However, Mr and Mrs Gaskell were such obviously nice people, and their testimony so compelling, that any feelings of grumpiness soon went out the window. Also at the pub were Kevin Boyd – our friend from the previous night - and his fourteen-year old daughter Kelsey, who has ambitions to become a marine biologist, and who had managed to get the day off school on the grounds that hanging out with the CFZ is an educational experience. They had been busy during the morning, and had acquired some bait, rope and flotation buoys. Just a note about bait: it is now illegal to use live or dead freshwater fish as bait on Windermere or Coniston Water. Kevin and Kelsey had therefore got herrings and squid, a combination that we hoped, when liberally doused in Predator Plus, would prove an irresistable lure to any large eels that happened to be in the lake. Although Richard and Lisa had already carried out the main interview with Eric Gaskell and his wife, they were happy to talk about their experience further, and when, at about half past one, the delightful, and ever so slightly scatty, Laura – producer for Jon Ronson’s BBC Radio 4 programme – turned up, the Gaskells went through their story for a third time. They told me that they went boating very regular on Windermere and that not only could we come out with them next year on our return, but they would put the word around to other friends of theirs in the boating fraternity and that it is quite likely that we will have the run of the lake in any of several vessels. On the July afternoon in question, Mr. Gaskell told me that the weather was dry and fine, with little breeze and the surface water was warm and calm. They have, on many occasions, seen fish jumping and surfacing in the lake, but on this particular day they were travelling about 4 knots near the yellow 6m/h marker at the entrance to the Ambleside basin, at the north end of the lake, when they both saw a disturbance in the water, about 20 yards astern. Mr Gaskell told me that they had seen something very large surfacing and diving again, which looked like a seal or dolphin without the fin, leaving a large wake and ripples. They did not see it again that day, or anything similar since. I had to leave the rest of the party, and disappear off to a quiet side room with Jon and Laura. They needed to interview me in some depth for their Radio 4 show, and because of the noise from an air conditioning vent that kept switching itself on and off quite randomly the process took much longer than it should have done. By the time it had finished it was time for us to go off in convoy to Coniston Water to begin preparations for the evening’s dive. This is where things got very complicated. We left Richard, Corinna, and Mark, back in Windermere. They had to fulfil a four o’clock interview with Michael Brook – a witness who had seen a strange animal swimming across the lake in the early 1980s. While they did this, a three-car convoy; me, Kevin and Kelsey in the lead, Lisa in the middle and the BBC/Guardian posse bringing up the rear made our way slowly towards the western shore of Coniston Water. Michael Brook told Richard, Mark, and Corinna, that he had been standing on the western shore of Lake Windermere, not far from Stewardson Nab when he had seen a strange shape moving in a straight line across the water from the other side of the lake in the vicinity Hammer Hole. He estimated the height to be about three foot by comparing it with a buoy. He had tried to climb higher up the hill to get a better view but by the time he had done this the shape had disappeared. After the interview with Michael Brook, Richard, Mark, and Corinna, took the car ferry across Lake Windermere and made their way around the narrow, twisting, undulating roads to Coniston Water to rendezvous with the other party. Meanwhile the rest of us were having a quite unexpected adventure. The juvenile protagonists of the Swallows and Amazons books always referred to local people, and indeed all grown-ups as ‘natives’. As we hurtled along the narrow country lanes, although Kevin was rapidly becoming both a friend and a valued member of the team, I was still thinking of him in terms of being a ‘native guide’. I wonder whether any of the great journeys of exploration across the Dark Continent were ever hampered when the native guide took a wrong journey. Ours certainly was. By his own admission, Kevin took a wrong turning just outside Hawkshead and we ended up driving for nearly an hour across some picturesque, bleak, and completely irrelevant Cumbrian countryside. As things turned out, it didn’t really matter, and I think that the experience was actually a positive one as it gave me and Kevin a chance to really bond. I was very impressed at Kevin’s knowledge of the local wildlife, and we talked for hours about pine martens, sparrowhawks and large pike. At one point, we hurtled over the brow of a small hill to find ourselves in the middle of a flock of at least sixty pheasants of varying sizes which ambled around the road in the slightly retarted way that pheasants are prone to do. Eventually we found ourselves approaching Coniston town and driving down the west side of the lake in a southerly direction. As we pulled in to Lower Peel Near, I breathed a sigh of relief. We unpacked our equipment, and, leaving Lisa, Dominic and Kelsey to set up camp, Kevin, Jon, Laura and I drove as fast as we could to the opposite side of the lake. Donald Campbell died on Coniston Water in January 1967 when his boat Bluebird K7 flipped and disintegrated at a speed in excess of 300 mph while attempting to break his own water speed record. To commemorate this, the Bluebird Café was built just outside Coniston on the shore of the lake. It was here – next to the Coniston Boating Centre – that we had arranged to have our next rendezvous. I had been telephoned some days before by a genial chap called David from BBC Manchester. Having completely forgotten about him, I was slightly perturbed to receive a ‘phone call from him whilst we were at Watbarrow Point that morning. I was in the middle of answering a particularly fatuous question posed to me by one or the other of the local newspapers (not the Westmorland Gazette, as they were genuinely nice people), when he ‘phoned. Without really thinking about what I was saying, I arranged to meet them at 4 o’clock at the Bluebird Café. A few seconds later, he ‘phoned back. As we were going out on a boat that afternoon, would it be possible for him to accompany us? Yes, I replied, and put the ‘phone down. A few seconds later he ‘phoned back. What was our policy on Health and Safety? Had we completed a risk assessment form? Could I give him the ‘phone number of his Health and Safety Officer so I could contact him? I lost my temper. “It’s a bloody tourist power boat!” I snapped. “And anyway, Health and Safety is for wusses”. As a result, I was not sure whether the BBC would have taken enormous umbrage or not, or even whether they would turn up. By this time I had had more than enough from our friends in the media, and decided that I really didn’t give a damn what the BBC decided to do. However, when we pulled in to the large car park – just over an hour late – we were greated by a huge BBC Outside Broadcast truck, and a little guy called David. Despite the fact that by this point in the expedition I was heartily sick of the media, David was such a nice bloke that I immediately warmed to him. Laura went and paid for the boat, and we were given strict instructions by the bloke in charge that we had to be back by six. At this point, this seemed an eminently reasonable request. However, I hadn’t realised – and neither had anyone else – that not only was our destination three quarters of the way down the lake, but that the boat itself was only capable of toddling along at about 1 mile an hour. The original plan had been to use Predator Plus and bait sacks from the boat, and to keep a watch on the waters below using our sonar fishfinder. There had been yet another cock-up, when we found that an integral part of the fishfinder had been left behind in Exeter, and to be quite honest with less than an hour to play with, the excursion across Coniston Water in the boat was only really to provide window dressing for the BBC Radio and TV crews. We all clambered aboard and set sail in a southerly direction. During the journey I did a long and eloquent piece to camera for the benefit of David and the BBC North crew back on shore, and then a further interview for Jon and Laura. It soon became very evident that our schedule would have to go our of the window. It took over half an hour before Kevin piloted our little craft into the bay where Lisa, Kelsey and Dominic were waiting for us. I was a little worried to see that Corinna and the two lads had not rejoined the main party, but we were in such a mobile ‘phone blackspot that it was impossible for us to contact them. As we slowly sailed in, we passed a tiny island on the left hand side and I realised to my great pleasure, that it was Peel Island; the original prototype for Arthur Ransome’s Wildcat Island. There was the entrance to the hidden harbour. There was the look out crew. And there, with a sickening thump as we hit it, was Pike Rock upon which the Swallows had been shipwrecked in Swallowdale. Luckily, we were travelling too slowly to do any damage, but as we manouvred gingerly away from the rock we almost immediately ran aground. The whole excursion was rapidly taking on a very Swallows and Amazonesque air. Luckily, Dominic, clad in wet suit, was already in the water and he helped us get afloat again and pushed us as near to shore as possible, whereupon Kevin rolled up his trouser legs and jumped overboard to help him. This was not quite as bizarrely macho an exercise as it might seem. The water was only about eighteen inches deep! With a wonderful display of gallantry, Kevin gave Laura a piggyback ride to shore, and then – to my great delight – returned to do the same for Jon Ronson. I found the sight of our guest celebrity being carried to shore by our diver irresistably funny, and I am glad to say that this display of intrepitude on Jon’s behalf has been captured for immortality on film. Because time was running out, David and I had no real option but to turn round and start heading up the lake again towards the Bluebird Café. We ran aground twice and had to be manouvred off the shoals by Dominic and Kevin and when, by luck rather than by judgement, we hit Pike Rock again with a sickening thud I stood up in the stern, put my arms out in the manner of the two people in the front of the Titanic in the iconic film poster and started to sing For Those in Peril on the Sea. It took ten minutes to get into open water again, whereupon we had another problem. The engine wouldn’t start. It took five minutes to coax the engine into life and we headed – somewhat unsteadily – north again. We were right in the middle of the lake, in quite deep water, when the engine conked out again. It was probably our imagination, but we could hear some unsettling gurgling sounds, and both David and I were convinced that we were just about to sink. We were not only supposed to be back by six o’clock to meet the boatman, but were also scheduled to make a live TV broadcast at 6.30 pm and as we coaxed the engine back to life again and limped back towards Coniston, all the while convinced that we were facing a watery grave, it became more and more obvious that we were just not going to make it back in time. David had a mobile ‘phone which somehow managed to work. I suspect it was some expensive satellite ‘phone owned by the BBC but I cannot be sure. Although there was no sign of us getting lower in the water, we were both quite scared, and I borrowed his telephone to ‘phone Corinna. I was in somewhat of a quandry at this point. On the one hand I didn’t want to worry her, but on the other hand both David and I were fairly convinced that we might have to swim for it, and I was only too aware that the currents in the middle of Coniston Water and notorious for being very treacherous indeed. I was also too aware that it was very easy to get lost in the winding lanes between Windermere and Coniston and setting aside my worries about our nautical predicament, I was getting quite concerned that Corinna, Mark and Richard had got lost, and would be wandering around unchartered lanes in the dark. We had a brief conversation, and I felt comforted by the fact that even if our little vessel was going to sink, that not only had I had the chance to tell Corinna that I love her before I went down to Davy Jones’ locker, but that I had done so in a way that had not overly alarmed her. Eventually, we could see the little white jetty which stuck out into the lake from the Bluebird Café. As we pulled in, I could see the unmistakeable frame of the boatman running towards us. I was convinced that as we were by this time forty five minutes late, that he was going to be furious, and that at the very least I was going to have to spend out a fair amount of my precious expedition fund in placating him. As he ran I could see him shaking. I assumed that he was shaking from anger. As he came closer, I shouted “I am so sorry” but still he was shaking. He must be beside himself with anger, I thought. But he wasn’t, he was laughing. Quite what he found so amusing I am not sure, but as we tied up, and shook hands, I could see that my fears had all been groundless. That was one problem out of the way, but we were too late for the live broadcast. Naomi, the anchorwoman, was just extemporising something to camera about how the intrepid expedition was still out on the lake as David and I shamefacedly shambled past in search of a cup of tea. I have never been in the position of finding myself in potentially serious danger when accompanied only by someone whom I had only known for less than an hour, but, unsurprisingly, David and I bonded to quite a considerable extent. We promised to keep in touch, and David said that he would do whatever was in his power to help us when we return to Cumbria next year. David drove me back round to the main party, said his goodbyes and left. By this time Corinna, Mark and Richard had rejoined, and we made ourselves as comfortable as we could on the shore as we waited for night to fall. Before it got dark, Kevin had placed a number of baited sacks out in the bay. Each sack contained cut up fish and squid, Predator Plus and some rocks. Richard and I had carried out a similar exercise at Loch Ness the previous November, but were surprised at how difficult the process on Coniston was going to be. The currents were very strong under water, and the bait sacks drifted considerably. However, eventually the process was complete, and Kevin came back to shore. Just after dark, Lisa drove him back to the Bluebird Café on the other side of the lake to retrieve his car and upon their return he went back in the water, this time armed with an underwater camera, to see what he could find. Richard and I had been planning this episode for many years. OK, we didn’t know it was going to take place in the Lake Distict but since the late 1990s we have been putting plans in place to do a dive for giant eels as and where it became appropriate. Despite claims made on our behalf in the media, we never had any great hopes of catching, or even seeing, an outside eel on this occasion. The main point of this three day expedition was to meet the eyewitnesses, suss out the lie of the land, and – as far as the diving was concerned – carry out something of a dress rehearsal. No matter how many times you plan something back in the office, the reality is always going to be significantly different. It soon became clear that there were a number of things which we had never even considered. Firstly, we had always planned to dive during daylight or at dusk. Kevin explained that the eels come out to feed just after dark, and this was a contingency that we just had not planned for. The first thing that we realised was that on any future dives we would have to put lights on the buoys, and preferably on the bait sacks themselves. This will be easy to arrange using proprietry light sticks – tubes of chemicals which, when broken, emit quite a strong light for several hours – but this had just not occurred to us. Kevin was finding great difficulty in locating either the buoys or the bait sacks in pitch darkness, and I regret to say that this part of the experiment was a failure. Another problem was the time of year. Whilst all of us were aware that by early October eels usually either disappear to sea or go to the deepest part of the lakes to stay for the winter, we had hoped that because it had been one of the hottest summers on record and because the water of the lake was allegedly eight degrees warmer than usual the eels would still be there. Sadly, this was not the case, and the anguilliform population of Coniston Water had followed the normal biological imperative and were nowhere to be seen. The water was also higher than normal – Kevin estimated by eighteen to twenty-four inches, and as Kelsey pointed out (to Richard’s and my embarrassment because as zoologists it should have been us who had thought of it not a fourteen-year old girl) that this would have affected the distribution patterns of the aquatic invertebrates on which the eels feed. Sadly it would appear that we were looking in the wrong place at the wrong time. Kevin did manage to get some remarkable pictures of the lake floor, of pike and of perch, and all in all, although we didn’t either catch or photograph any eels, we felt that our first exploratory dives had been a qualified success. The night was very quiet, and very still. Sitting and standing on the shore where the only illumination were tiny pinpricks of light from torches, and the ethereal ghostly glow from Kevin’s underwater light, which would intermittently illuminate the water before us with a yellow green haze, was an enthralling, exciting, and oddly humbling experience. There are some people in the cryptozoological community who are scathing about investigations carried out in the United Kingdom. They seem to believe that true adventures can only be found in the jungles or deserts of the tropics. On this Thursday afternoon and evening I think that we have proved them wrong. David and I had come close to being shipwrecked, and here was Kevin risking life and limb forty feet below the surface of the water in pitch blackness. Surely, one could not ask for much more intrepid behaviour than this? We returned to the B & B just after 11.00 that night and slept soundly. Although the most exciting part of the trip was over, there were still important things that had to be done on Friday and Saturday. Friday morning, and Mark and Corinna set off to the library. Lisa went into town to get the underwater camera film developed, and Richard and I stayed back at the B & B to do our final interviews with Jon Ronson, and to plan our next move. On the second trip to the library, the documents that Mark had arranged to see on his visit the day before, were not as expected, as they were completely irrelevent to the investigation; being planning applications, speed restrictions, proposals, fishing rights and various minutes. Mentioning this to the librarian, Mark was told that we would have to go to the records office at Kendal if we wished to obtain more detailed information. However, not to be thwarted, Mark and Corinna delved deeper into a small shelf of press cuttings, pamphlets, and articles relating to Lake Windermere and the surrounding parishes, from which they found a few relevant references to fishing. Just before leaving, somewhat dejectedly, Mark was photocopying the few scraps of pertinent material that they had found (as they did not feel it wise to return to basecamp empty handed!). As the photocopier slowly and laboriously went about its business, Corinna was gazing towards the busy keyboard activity in the computer section when, looking beyond the monitors and the heads of those busy sending their emails, she noticed some wall cupboards. Not hoping for anything significant she wandered up to them, but upon inspecting them closely, was excited to notice that they were, in fact, holding quite a few books of great interest. A key was hurriedly obtained from the librarian. They found volumes of the Transactions of the Cumberland and Westmorland Antiquarian and Archaeological Society from 1886 onwards, some of which were unfortunately missing. However, from these and a few other publications they managed to find some useful material, for example a reference in a book entitled A Vertebrate Fauna of Lakeland by the Rev. H.A. MacPherson published in 1892 to various eels in Lake Windermere, including one that was caught weighing 9lbs, in the mid-19th Century. Articles photocopied, Mark and Corinna returned to the B & B, satisfied that they had completed their mission satisfactorily. By this time, Jon and Laura had caught the train to London, and the rest of us made our way to the foot of Lake Windermere to investigate the Aquarium of the Lakes. Since the age of four I have been visiting aquariums, museums and zoos across the world and I am not easily impressed, but this was one of the nicest, and best laid out theme aquariums that I have ever visited. I was particularly pleased when the marketing director came up to me, introduced herself and during our conversation on the subject of pugative giant eels, both in Windermere and Coniston Water, not only did not call me an idiot for believing in such things, but offered to help in any way that she could. If, during next year’s investigations, we do indeed manage to catch an eel significantly larger than it should be, we have already been told that we can exhibit it at the Aquarium of the Lakes, and that as far as possible their resources are at our disposal. There isn’t that much more to tell for the Friday. We took a trip on one of the steamer ferries around the islands in Bowness Bay (although whenever I saw or heard the name Bowness, I took a leaf out of Ransome’s book and renamed it Rio). This was not just for fun, but to get photographs and film clips that can be used in the documentary film that we plan to make of this project. That evening we met up with Kevin and his family, and we took them out to dinner. Kevin’s wife and other two daughters were incredibly kind and enthusiastic, and all want to be involved in the next stage of the operation. Kevin was ridiculously apologetic about his lack of success in finding any eels, and seemed to think that somehow it was all his fault! We reassured him, and showed him the photographs which he had taken which prove beyond any doubt that we are using the right equipment and m.o. He also told us that when he returned to Coniston that morning to retrieve the buoys and bait sacks, that something had taken substantial chunks out of the squid which we had left, although the herring had been left untouched! Proof again that we are on the right track! On Saturday we tidied up a few loose ends. We visited the Steamboat Museum where I got ridiculously overemotional at seeing two of the pivotal boats in the Swallows and Amazons saga for real. The Amazon, a sailing dinghy bought by Dr. Altoynam for the real-life Swallows in 1928, and an ancient and venerable motor yacht called the Esperance which is not only the oldest motorboat on Lloyds Register, but was the model for Captain Flint’s houseboat, both in the books and the 1974 movie. We then visited Kendal, where we photographed some rare birds in the museum, before saying our goodbyes to Richard and Lisa. Corinna, Mark and I drove across the Pennines to Hebden Bridge for the last objective of the trip. It would have been ludicrous to have travelled all this distance, worked so hard, and talked to so many people, without meeting Steve Burnip face to face. Because of delays which were completely beyond our control, we were unable to make the original rendezvous at 2.30 pm, so by dint of mobile ‘phone (how on earth did explorers in the pre-digital age manage?) we finally met Steve in a car park in the middle of the pretty Yorkshire town just as it was getting dark. There was not much that Steve could add to what he had already told Richard on the telephone, and what had already been printed in the newspaper, but once again we were touched by the sincerity of his account. He showed us the original of the photograph he had taken, still on his digital camera, and zoomed in. What had been merely discolourations in the water on the version that had been rather badly reproduced by the Westmorland Gazette, were actually what appeared to be quite sizeable humps. We hope that as time goes by we shall be able to persuade Steve to let us have a copy for our own use. As we headed down the M1 towards Corinna’s house in Lincolnshire, we made plans for the next step. If we are to succeed in our endeavour in proving that there are indeed eels considerably larger than they are supposed to be in the deep waters of the Lake District, it is going to take a considerable amount of effort. I am hoping that Eric Gaskell’s friends will come up trumps, and that we will have several boats to play with on Windermere itself. If we do, and if we can get permission from the relevant authorities to dive, I want to seriously consider carrying out a project similar to Operation Deep Scan which was carried out in Loch Ness in the 1980s by Adrian Shine. I am also giving serious consideration to approaching the ferry companies. I wonder if they would be prepared to donate us season tickets and allow us to use sonar of the ferries which traverse large sections of the lake including the places where huge eels were seen during June and July this year. Kevin has pledged his support, and we are hoping that we will be able to get donations of time and equipment from other divers. I am also hoping to involve various community groups like the boy scouts, the sea cadets and the angling clubs. As we scan the depths of the lake and attempt to the beasts with Predator Plus, I want as many ‘foot soldiers’ as possible stationed on the banks, and on the islands, with binoculars, long range cameras, and notebooks. This could be the largest cryptozoological investigation ever mounted on British soil. If there are indeed large eels in Coniston Water and Windermere we are damn well going to find them!

On Tuesday, January 13th, some of the Carolina Cryptid Crew and CSPRI Inc members will be heading to Aiken, South Carolina for a huge opportunity. We have been invited to come to the Finding Bigfoot Town Hall meeting to share our experiences. This is truly an honor. Some of the Carolina Cryptid Crew members have been speaking with the Finding Bigfoot research team for quite some time and are excited to pass on their experiences face to face. We wish them luck and safe travels as they go to represent the team. I am so excited to be included in this adventure. Be sure you are following me on Instagram and Twitterfor fun as it happens.

5 Creatures That May Not Exist, But Get Government Protection Anyway Dave Shealy is founder of the world's only research center dedicated to the skunk-ape (the 7-foot tall, 450-pound apes that supposedly stroll through Florida reeking of rotten eggs). He's spent much of his life trudging through the Everglades looking for signs of the creatures and has even gone so far as to call for the state of Florida to pass a law outlawing the hunting of them. This guy is nuts, right? No matter your answer, he's not the first person to try this with the skunk apes, and certainly not the first to push for government protection of a cryptid (an animal whose existence can't be proved with scientific certainty). In Florida, the US, and even elsewhere in the world, individuals, politicians, and organizations have fought for legal protection for cryptids. Here are five times where they've been successful. A portion of Arkansas's White River, between the towns of Jacksonport and Possum Grape, is a protected wildlife refuge. The wildlife in question? The White River Monster, a gray aquatic creature roughly the size of a boxcar affectionately known as "Whitey." Whitey was first sighted in 1915, and has been spotted intermittently since then. In 1973, after another sighting, State Senator Robert Harvey introduced a bill that would create the White River Monster Refuge and make it illegal to harm Whitey within its boundaries. The bill was quickly signed into law by a large majority. [Image courtesy of Ozarks Magazine.] A similar river creature enjoys protection from both Vermont and New York. In the 1980s, the two states passed resolutions helping Champ, a serpent-like creature that inhabits their shared waterway, Lake Champlain. The resolutions declared Champ a protected species and made it illegal to harm him in any way. Champ's protected species status also earns him conservation funding from the Lake Champlain Land Trust. Champ lovers are patiently waiting for Quebec, which also borders the lake, to pass a similar resolution. [Image courtesy of Heurtley.com.] Speaking of the Canadians, Mike Lake, a member of the Canadian Mounted Police, petitioned the Canadian Parliament earlier this year to add Bigfoot to the country's Species at Risk Act alongside the Whooping Crane and Blue Whale. According to Mr. Lake, the reason that there haven't been many Bigfoot sightings is that the creature is endangered, and not shy like many believe. The Skamania County Board of Commissioners in the state of Washington realized the same thing Lake did and passed an ordinance in 1969 that set a $10,000 fine and five years in prison for anyone who killed a Bigfoot in the county. [Image courtesy of Monorails.org.] The cryptid protection trend isn't limited to North America. Plenty of countries have their own legendary creatures and their own laws protecting them. The migoi is the Bhutanese version of the Yeti, but with a few more quirks. The red haired creatures reportedly stand eight feet tall and often walk backwards or turn invisible to fool trackers and hunters. They've been part of the country's legends for centuries, and even show up in ancient Bhutanese and Tibetan texts. In 2001, the Bhutanese government created the Sakteng Wildlife Sanctuary, a 253 square-mile protected habitat for the migoi. The sanctuary is also home to pandas, snow leopards and tigers, but in a display of Big Government spending at its best, the Bhutanese maintain that the refuge was created specifically for the migoi and cuddly pandas are simply a bonus. [Image courtesy of Zinester.com.] And here's our big star, the diva of the cryptid world: the Loch Ness Monster. Not only did Nessie get protection from poachers under the provisions of the Scotland's 1981 Wildlife and Countryside Act, which makes it illegal to snare, shoot or try to blow her up, but the old girl helped out one of her distant relatives in the process. In the summer of 1985, the Scots received a request by the Swedish government for guidance on how it should draft formal legal protection for the Storsjo monster, the Swedish equivalent of Nessie in Lake Storsjo. The Scottish government consulted their Nature Conservancy Council, decided a lake monster would be protected under the 1981 legislation, slapped a "protected species" sticker on Nessie and advised the Swedes that "the legislative framework to protect the monster is available, provided she (or he) is identified by scientists whose reputation will carry weight with the British Museum." The Swedish government passed legislation to protect their monster, but it was revoked a few months ago after a government watchdog group challenged the law, claiming legislation was not necessary to protect an unproven species. Nessie is still protected to this day and no cryptids were harmed during the writing of this article.

Since deciding on my topic of Mermaids I have learned quite a number of things. Saturday, April 9, 2011 Since deciding on my topic of Mermaids I have learned quite a number of things. Last week, I spent some time in the library searching for books that contained actual stories of real-life thunderbird encounters. While searching the library’s online database with the word “thunderbird” and other related search terms, most of the books I found involved legends and mythology of Native Americans, particularly those who live in the Pacific Northwest. Although native myths vary between tribes, in general the mythical thunderbird is thought to be responsible for bringing storms and rain. Thunderbirds are said to be massive, eagle-like creatures that create thunder by flapping their wings and shoot lightning bolts out of their eyes. The thunderbird is a regular fixture on top of totem poles of native tribes in the Northwest. (see photo, from travel-vancouver-island.com) I found myself wondering to what extent mythology plays in reported modern-day sightings of cryptids. I know that the Yeti, known to the people who live near the Himalayas, is seen to many locals as a mythological creature as much as it is seen as a cryptid that still lives today. How much does mythology and myth affect cryptozoology? That would be an interesting topic for a separate paper. I had some difficulty locating books that spoke at length about real-life encounters with thunderbirds. I found references to thunderbirds in two cryptozoology reference books, Giants, Monsters & Dragons by Carol Rose and The encyclopedia of monsters by Daniel Cohen. There wasn’t a whole lot of information I haven’t already picked up off of Wikipedia. The thunderbird is said to be a massive bird-like creature with a wingspan up to 20 feet or more. It is sometimes reported to have scaly skin like that of a reptile. It is also said to be capable of picking up a deer or small child with its talons, which is nearly impossible for even the largest birds of prey known to exist. I’m going to spend some more time in the library next week, and I will focus on other sources of information to find some specific stories and reported sightings. I know there are some interesting ones out there. With this week being super busy I have only been able to minimally start my research. I went to the library and found a number of books on Vampires! Friday, April 8, 2011 They all provided generally the same information on the creature, though Mythical and Fabulous Creatures only discussed werewolves and didn't speak of the beast. It focused instead on the relationship between werewolves, Christianity and the power of the devil--whether he was behind the lycanthropy and if so, how he went about it. Could he truly transform a man into a wolf or was the wolf-appearance merely an immaterial guise? This books also spoke briefly about the werwolf's love of female flesh, but also a page (or so) long discussion about a Frenchman named Gilles Garnier. Garnier went to trial for his dealings with the 'Lord of the Forest,' who "gave him the power...to change into a variety of beasts, including a wolf." (South, 273) Though there was no mention of the beast of Gévaudan, I still appreciated the brief discussion on lycanthropy in France for, as I mentioned earlier, there is some speculation as to whether or not the beast was actually a werewolf (and not just an insanely-large and oddly colored wolf). The other two texts, The Werewolf and Witchcraft, Lycanthropy, Drugs and Disease, were interesting to compare side by side. The information they provided was similar--but only relatively. Witchcraft... describes the Beast of Gévaudan's reign of terror as between the years 1764 through 1767, while Werewolf states that the Wild Beast of Gévaudan was active in 1764 and '65. Makes me curious to inspect the sources of my sources... Also included in The Werewolf was a lovely drawing of the beast that looks like a cross-breed between a lion, wolf and a large-toothed donkey. When I began researching, I only used the term "gnome" when I was looking for small humanoid creatures. I had difficulty finding anything about gnomes as cryptids and mostly came up with facts on garden gnome decorations and gnomes in popular culture. After Wednesday's lecture on control vocabulary I decided you try other terms, such as elf, in my research to get the information I wanted. I started on Wikipedia to see if there was anything obvious that I should begin looking for. There was some pretty interesting info on elf-lore from different cultures. I found that in Iceland gnomes/elves are called Huldufolk (hidden folk). I knew that I wanted to start with gnome sightings in Iceland, and I had a hunch that the term "huldufolk" world get me the articles that I was interested in. I went into EBSCO and searched "huldufolk" "Iceland". The search came up with three articles, two were full text. The article "Magic Kingdom" had the most information. Mala, Elisa. Psychology Today; May/Jun 2008, Vol. 41 Issue 3,p 21-21, p1 the author states that in a survey conducted in 2007 "Only 3 percent of Icelanders lay claim to personal encounters, but 8 percent believe in them outright and 54 percent won't deny their existence," She also went on to say that isolation, unpredictable natural phenomena, and religious tolerance may have fostered the high rates of Icelanders believing in these cryptids. Thursday, April 7, 2011 In a History Today article, I found a story about the history of the Spring-Heeled Jack and other ‘ghosts’ that haunted the streets of London. However, these ghosts were not the average phantom. According to reports of the townsfolk during the 1800’s, these ghouls were “flesh and blood 'ghosts'”. They troubled citizens and made night time traveling dangerous and frightening. What is more, the ghosts appeared to be average men in traditional clothing. One of the ghosts was named Spring- Heeled Jack for his amazing jumping abilities. Early accounts included women being extremely frightened by being grabbed or spooked, while later tales mentioned a figure or ‘man’ breathing fire. Many of these accounts filled the newspapers and warned the locals of what danger Spring-Heeled Jack and others could bring. Soon, it was rumored that these encounters were a gag and that the ghostly beings were just aristocrats fulfilling bets to terrorize the townspeople. In this way, Spring-Heeled Jack became known as the Victorian Boogeyman. According to the article, the beliefs of aristocratic misbehavior may reflect “social tensions of the time”. During this time the citizens were not happy with the ruling class and distrusted their decisions. This article was very interesting and gave a great background of Spring-Heeled Jack. I thought it was very intriguing that there were many other ghosts like him and that his presence was very real yet strongly questioned by the people of London. The Loch Ness monster, better known as Nessie or in Scottish Gaelic Niseag, resides in the Lake or Loch Ness near Iverness, Scotland. As Loch Ness is a huge lake located near Urquhart Castle, Nessie is frequently “seen” in Urquhart Bay. Nessie is one of the more prominent cryptids out there and has been reportedly seen since the time period of A.D. Nessie is a huge lake monster that the people of Scotland swear exists and is part of local legend. The creature is said to be part of a line of plesiosaurs that never went extinct (Wikipedia). Although this is the most common depiction, there are many different accounts of what Nessie actually looks like. She is somewhere between 20 to 60 feet in length, with a long neck, a small head, horn for breathing, and diamond shaped fins. During the 1930s Nessie became a worldwide phenomena, although many documents suggest that Nessie had been seen way before this time. According to Legend of Nessie.co.uk Nessie’s ancestors where out in the loch in 565 A.D. It was during this time that St. Columba was crossing the lake and reported to have seen a lake monster (Legend of Nessie.co.uk). The last reported sighting of Nessie was in 1960 by Tim Dinsdale as he filmed Nessie with his camera. More people tried to spot Nessie in 1976 and 1982 but no sightings were made. Nessie’s devoted followers still continue to believe that she is out there and are always looking for more proof. I started off my research by looking at articles from databases like JSTOR and EBSCO host and I was hoping to find many articles since Nessie is such a popular cryptid. I did find tons of articles, though not all of them were about Nessie and never really described any new info relating to the monster. Most of the articles that I found were from scientific magazines, like Society For Science and The Public. In the four articles that I found for this magazine most of the articles were short and centered on if Nessie was an actual in the loch or if it was some hoax. The first article titled The Case for the Loch Ness Monster by the Science News written in 1976 was an article in favor of Nessie, especially after the first true group of “hunters” took under water pictures of a “large submerged object moving under the boat” (247). These hunters consisted of amateurs that many of the scientific community discredited. They took these pictures with a submerged camera that had a synchronized strobe light. This camera recorded the first ever picture of the monster of Loch Ness (Case of Loch Ness Monster, 247). This group, as stated, was severely discredited because they were amateurs but that does not discount what they found with their cameras. This article seems to be credible because it comes from a scientific magazine and does an acceptable job of posing both sides of the argument for Nessie. The article lets the reader decide if they want to believe Nessie is real or not rather than making the decision for them. Another article that I found from the same journal is Is Nessie merely a bad case of the Shakes? This article seems to try to explain what Nessie could be rather than a lake monster. Loch Ness lies on a fault, Great Glen, and has three to four moderate earthquakes each century. According to Luigi Piccardi, a structural geologist, these earthquakes and seismic activity can explain the Nessie phenomena. Piccardi states, “that some of the more vivid sightings include observations of low humps breaking the surface. This could be explained by waves resulting from a focusing of seismic energy rumbling beneath and through the loch’s waters” (Is Nessie merely a bad case of the shakes, 5). Although this article was fairly short and did not give a lot of information regarding how these earthquakes could offer an alternate explain of the Loch Ness monster. I believe that this source is credible because, again, it is in a scientific magazine but it does not seem to offer a lot of explanation about the how and why this alternate explanation would be used instead of the monster Nessie. Tuesday, April 5, 2011 Monday, April 4, 2011 I have been a Washington native my whole life, and growing up in the northwest one hears stories of the big hairy creature known under the names Sasquatch and bigfoot. Is the missing link wandering the forests of the Pacific Northwest? There have been many reported sightings of a large bi-pedal creature. There seems to be a lot of material to read through on Sasquatch and this leads me to believe there is a larger chance for finding valid information. Another cyptids history I am considering taking a look into is the Kraken. The kraken is a I have also been interested in the existence of a giant squid. Though compared to the amount of information available on Bigfoot, the Kraken has a miniscule amount. An additional reason I am doubtful about starting research on the Kraken is that the last reports of the animal, at least on the Wikipedia page and the first page of Google happened approximately 150 years ago. I don’t know if there is enough material to write on. One Cryptid that has piqued my interest is the Loch Ness Monster. As it seems the second most likely, behind Sasquatch, to actually exist. Loch Ness, the lake the monster inhabits is extremely deep. There have been claims dating back the middle 500’s about a dinosaur-resembling creature motoring around the Loch, and it didn’t really come under the public eye until it was picked up by the national and international press in the summer of 1933. Paraphrasing, the first reported sighting to the press goes as follows, Goerge Spicer, a man visiting the lake with his wife had seen a large pre-historic esque creature wallowing back to the lake with a small animal in its mouth. A little further along the timeline, in 1934 the first recorded photograph of Nessie as the animal is being called, was published in a national newspaper. I think the vast amount of information on Nessie lends to the place in has taken in as a cultural icon. Nessie is a recognized figure in most developed countries and I bet if I were to survey people and ask what country Nessie is located in, the answers would be about 90 percent right. Though I assume other questions about the animal would most likely be answer incorrectly. This makes me want to dig a little deeper, into the history and literature of Nessie, its habits and hobbies. There is a large base of cryptids to choose from, and I don’t have a clear decision yet on which one I will study and write upon. It is a big endeavor to write solely on one subject. In making the decision on who to devote my research to, I don’t want to make a snap decision. Sunday, April 3, 2011 The beast was mostly active in the mid-1700s in the French country of Gévaudan. At first, it was believed to be a common--if rather vicious and out-of-character--wolf. But rumor soon reported it to be donkey-sized and red-furred, with(depending on the description)two back hooves, instead of paws. And, just for kicks, here's a trailer for a film based on the histories of this beast: I'll probably watch it, mostly for entertainment's sake, though I imagine I might gain some sort of useful insight from it. A newer movie was released two years after this one, a film available only through Worldcat, from a university in France; much as I'd like to peruse it, I'm not sure I feel completely comfortable using school-funds to get a hold of a film I'd be watching mostly for my own amusement... *NOTE for M: I mentioned I'd be posting under the name 'runedrum,' but I've decided to go simply as Jenn, as that's what I've used in previous school-associated blogs.

The world of cryptozoology, with its sea monsters, Bigfoot, Chupacabras, and other mysterious creatures of all shapes and sizes roaming the wilds of the world spawning some truly amazing tales, is perhaps for some already fairly strange enough. Yet while some of these alleged mystery beasts may already be pushing the envelope of the weird, on occasion there are cases of strange creatures that go bursting straight through that envelope, erupting into the realms of the truly otherworldly and bizarre, driving out past the boundaries of oddity into the surreal. These are the puzzling creatures which are nearly impossible to categorize, seeming to exist free of the established rules of zoology, biology, or even in some cases reality, and are truly unique entities inhabiting a domain unto themselves, even perhaps challenging our notions of what a cryptid even is. Lurking out beyond the horizons of the strange, perched at the very fringes of cryptozoology, this is the weird world of some of the strangest, most outlandish, and indeed at times most preposterous cryptids around. Let’s take a look. Across a large swath of West Virginia including Boone, Kanawha, Putnam and Mason counties there is said to be lurking a hulking creature which is really hard to quite classify. Starting from around the mid-1990s there began a string of sightings of what was described as a white, wooly bear-sized beast with a pointed head topped by goat-like horns, a snouted face with long, sharp teeth, and a long hairless tail said to be reminiscent of that of an opossum. Often reported as accompanied by a pungent, sulfurous stench, the creature was at first called simply the “White Thing,” and would later garner the name “Sheepsquatch,” although it bears very little physical resemblance at all to its more famous Sasquatch cryptid cousin other than perhaps its size and hairiness. The first sightings of this bizarre creature started coming in in 1994. In perhaps the earliest report, a group of women claimed that they had been driving along a treacherous icy road in a location in West Virginia known as the TNT area, which they were cautiously inching along in order not to get into an accident. According to the witnesses, they were then surprised by a large creature which lumbered out of the woods in front of them, described as being around 7 or 8 feet tall, covered with shaggy white hair, and with a pointed snout, ram-like horns, and human-looking legs. The mysterious creature allegedly froze for a moment when the headlights hit it before running off into the dark forest. Soon after this report others came pouring in, and there were numerous sightings made in 1994. In one account, a former Navy seaman out hunting observed the same creature emerge from the forest to crouch at a creek to drink before continuing on its way. The witness claimed to have watched it for several minutes, and said that it had human-like hands. In another account, a motorist spotted a tall, robust creature on a hillside, that was covered in white fur that appeared to be like rags hanging off of its body. In that very same year there was another rather high profile sighting made in Boone County by two children playing in their yard. The children reported that a beast that looked like a white bear walking on its hind legs was making its way through the underbrush on the periphery of their property when their startled screams had sent it in a mad bolt through the forest, leaving snapped saplings and tree branches in its wake. Later reports of the Sheepsquatch would take on a more threatening tone. In 1995, a couple was driving along when they spotted a white, bear-like creature hunched over in a roadside ditch. When the couple slowed down to see what it was, the creature had then stood up on its hind legs to reveal that it was no bear, but rather a massive beast with a horned head and, oddly, four eyes. The thing then allegedly dashed at their car in a fury, slashing and banging the side of the vehicle with great force before the terrified couple sped away. They claimed that when they reached their home they discovered that the side of their car displayed wicked scratches that looked like they had been made by claws. In 1999 there was another such frightening encounter, when some campers heard what they at first took to be the sounds of bear grunting, huffing and moving about out in the darkness beyond their camp. Already a little spooked that a bear was in such close proximity and not sounding to be in the best of moods, the campers were truly in for a shock when out of the brush came crashing a hulking white blur which let out a bloodcurdling, unearthly scream. Fleeing for their lives, the campers briefly looked back to see the Sheepsquatch standing at their camp glaring at them. Allegedly, when the campers returned the following day their campsite seemed to have been totally ransacked by a large animal of some kind. In yet another apparent attack by a Sheepsquatch, an account outlined on a 2013 episode of the TV show Monsters and Mysteries in America, two hunters claimed that a giant, furry white beast over 9 feet tall had let out a “ungodly, gut-curling growl” before running towards them in an aggressive manner. The most recent report of the Sheepsquatch occurred in 2015, when a group of six unnamed campers saw it while camping out in a place called Fulks Run. One of the campers reportedly first saw the creature crouching menacingly atop a hill at around midnight, after which he went to warn the others. It was then that whatever it was stood to its full height of 8 or 9 feet and started running down the hill towards their camp. Apparently a river stood between the campers and the creature, but after trying in vain to find a way around it simply waded right into the rushing water to slosh towards them. By this time, all of the campers had gathered to watch the strange monster coming inexorably through the river towards them, and when it emerged they could see that it looked like a huge, white bipedal dog, dripping water from its soaked fur. The campers reported that there had then been a shriek from out in the forest from something else, and this had apparently frightened the creature, which whimpered and slunk off back into the woods in apparent fear or passiveness. One wonders what could have provoked such a response. As absurd as the Sheepsquatch may seem, it is not the only truly strange Sasquatch-like beast out there. The swamplands of Lee County, South Carolina, as well as sewers and abandoned tunnels of the area, are purported to be the haunt of a large reptilian humanoid that has become known as the Lizard Man of Ore Swamp, or the Lizard Man of Lee County. It is undoubtedly a baffling apparition, said to be a bipedal reptile of some sort which stands around 7 feet tall, is covered in green scaly skin, with occasional mentions of tufts of hair amongst the prominent scales, has three-fingered clawed hands sometimes described as being webbed and three toes, also with formidable claws, as well as a hideous face with fangs and large glowing orange eyes. There are occasional accounts that make mention of a long tail reminiscent of that of an alligator, and the creature is said to be fairly aggressive. Perhaps the most well-known report, and the one which launched the Lizard Man into the public consciousness, is that of a local 17-year-old boy named Christopher Davis. In the dark, early morning hours of June 29, 1988, Davis was allegedly driving home from work on a lonely road near the Scape Ore Swamp, just outside of Bishopville, when he got a flat tire. As he was out changing the tire with a spare he kept in the trunk, Davis heard a strange noise like thumping, which clearly stood out amongst the din of the buzzing of insects and other swamp sounds of the night. When he turned to see what had made the odd sound, he was startled to see a bizarre creature with glowing red eyes running at full speed across a nearby field towards him. With the distance between them dwindling rapidly, and sensing that the thing had decidedly aggressive intent, Davis then retreated to the confines of his car in a panic, after which it came at the vehicle and violently grabbed the door handle. The terrified youth could see the enraged creature yanking at his door now clearly from the neck down, and described it as having green scales and three large fingers with curved claws. The monster then apparently jumped onto the roof of the car and attempted to pry the roof off with its bare hands before Davis sped off and somehow managed to jostle it off. When he returned home, Davis claimed that the door handle to his car had been seriously damaged, and that there had been what appeared to be scratches and gouges on the roof of the vehicle, as well as strips of vinyl siding that had apparently been ripped off. The boy’s father would later take him to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office, where he would relate the whole incident to a Sheriff Liston Truesdale. The report was undoubtedly unusual but also intriguing, as apparently there had been a report a few weeks earlier, on July 14, 1988, that something large had badly mauled the car of an older couple named Tom and Mary Wayne, in the nearby rural community of Browntown, although it was not yet known just what sort of animal had done it. Nevertheless, the authorities were skeptical of Davis’ dramatic story at first, but over the next few weeks further sightings of the Lizard Man in the area’s swamp started coming in, many of these from seemingly credible sources, as well as more complaints of damage to cars such as scratches and teeth marks caused by some wild animal, and even missing dogs and cats. Authorities investigating one of these reports were even able to obtain casts of odd, three-toed footprints measuring 14 inches (36 cm) in length that were unable to be linked to any known wildlife. With the growing list of reports coming in, the Sheriff’s Department came to the conclusion that there was probably something indeed running around spooking people and damaging cars, but that it was probably a bear or coyotes rather than a giant human-lizard hybrid. In the meantime, the stories of the Lizard Man prowling the swamps had provoked a media frenzy, with reporters and curious tourists flocking to the area in the hopes of getting a glimpse of the creature. One radio station even offered up a $1 million reward for the successful capture of the beast, and there were the inevitable armed, trigger happy monster hunters showing up as well. This sharp spike in media interest and tourism would start to fade in light of a bogus sighting made by an airman stationed at Shaw Air Force Base by the name of Kenneth Orr, who claimed that he had actually shot the Lizard Man, and even presented scales and blood from the creature as evidence. Orr would later admit to making up the whole thing in an effort to maintain the tale of the creature and keep tourists coming in. Another incident involved a man dressing up as a lizard and running around trying to spook people at night. In light of these hoaxes, as well as the steadily dropping number of actual credible sightings reports coming in, interest in the Lizard Man began to wane, and before long the tourists and media attention petered out. Even so, reports of the Lizard Man have occasionally come in right up into the 2000s, such as a woman who in 2005 claimed to have seen two large, scaly creatures with glowing eyes outside of her home in Newberry, SC. Interestingly, the phenomenon of Lizard Men is not confined to South Carolina, and there have been similar bipedal humanoid reptilian creatures spotted all over the United States, including the New Jersey Gator Man, the Ohio Loveland Frogman, and indeed such monsters have been reported from all over the world, in such disparate countries as India, South Africa, Canada, and Japan. There have been the rather far-out theories that these creatures could represent some sort of surviving dinosaur, the result of dinosaurs evolving along the lines of humans into a form similar to ours, or even that they are some sort of lizard-like aliens. The more likely explanation, at least in the case of the Ore Swamp Lizard Man, is that it was an attempt to play up the mystery as a marketing ploy to draw in tourists, perhaps mixed in with a little mass hysteria. Indeed, when the TV show Destination Truth traveled to Lee County to investigate, they were met with a deluge of Lizard Man related merchandise and came up with a decidedly faked footprint, leading them to come away quite skeptical about the whole tale. Tales of something even more bizarre still than Sheepsquatch and Lizard Men come to us from the wilds of the state of Ohio, where we have stories of an incredibly strange tribe of bulbous headed, freakish looking cannibals that have long been said to stalk rural areas in and around Kirtland and Chardon, Ohio, and have come to be known as the Melonheads. These creatures are said to look more or less human, but with a sickly pallor and enormous, almost comically oversized craniums that sit atop their slight, emaciated bodies. The supposed origins of this odd tale are murky to say the least, and there are many versions of how the Melonheads came to be, but the most popular is perhaps of a group of orphaned children that came to be the subjects of a twisted scientific experiment gone awry. According to this version of the story, a mad scientist by the name of Dr. Crow came into the possession of these abandoned children by unspecified means, and proceeded to take them out to a secluded facility in the woods near Kirtland, Ohio, in order to perform experiments on them. Depending on the version of this particular story, the children’s heads then became deformed and misshapen due to either the effects of the mysterious experiments or the fact that they already had a condition known as hydrocephalus, or a buildup of fluid in the brain. These deformed children went mad from whatever was being done to them, and escaped into the woods, again depending on the version either from sneaking out or with the help of Dr. Crow’s wife, who had become sympathetic with their plight. One permutation of this tale is that Dr. Crow’s wife died and in their sorrowful tantrum the children knocked over a lamp to burn the cabin down in a fiery inferno. In this story, the Melonheads are either the descendants of these freakish mutants or are the ghosts of the children eternally wandering the wilderness. Another version of the Melonheads’ origin is a more straightforward story of a top-secret government project which was doing experiments out in the wilds of Lake County for who knows what nefarious purpose. In this scenario, the subjects underwent some sort of drastic experiments on their brains, which caused them to become ballooned and deformed. These subjects over time craved some sort of contact with the outside world, and are said to have escaped to make their way to civilization. Unfortunately, they soon realized that civilization did not want anything to do with them and their hideous visages, and so the forlorn freaks trudged back out into the wilderness to live forever in seclusion. The government, not wanting to create a widespread panic, did what any sinister government does in a good conspiracy theory and covered it up. Whatever they are, stories of these bizarre entities with their freakishly large heads prowling the woods of Ohio have persisted for years, and indeed the legend has spread beyond borders to both Michigan and Connecticut, which each have their own versions of the story ranging from that they are inbred cretins to escaped hydrocephalic patients from an insane asylum. In most traditions, these strange entities are said to still live out in the wilderness, often supposedly along remote, rural roads, and have kept their numbers steady over the years through inbreeding, which has made them even more insane and alien looking. No matter what they are or where they reside, the Melonheads are purportedly not at all pleasant to be around. They are supposedly aggressive, feral creatures said to come out at night under the cover of darkness to roam the wilds hunting and getting into mischief, and it is said they are responsible for the mutilated bodies of animals sometimes allegedly found in the deep backwoods. They are also said to terrorize or even kill and eat people who wander into their territory from time to time, with those who have disappeared in Melonhead country sometimes said to have fallen victim to the vile creatures. Surely the bizarre notion of tribes of pale, vicious cannibals with oversized heads lurking in dark forests killing animals and humans seems like it must be pure urban legend and absurdity, and it likely is, yet this has not stopped people from continuing to report sightings of them from time to time, and indeed there are many who swear they are real. Urban legend or something else, the Melonheads are certainly one of the weirder mystery monsters out there. The United States certainly does not have the monopoly on truly bizarre cryptids, and indeed two such creatures can supposedly be found in Africa. In 2011, the small farming community of Steytlerville, in the province of Karoo, South Africa, was allegedly terrorized by a mysterious creature which was said to be able to change shape at will, and which would spread mass, widespread panic throughout the area. The enigmatic creature which would come to be known as Bawokozi, meaning “brother-in-law,” made its first appearances at two separate funerals and a church service, during which it was supposedly seen peering in through windows of the church. In most accounts, it was typically said to first appear as a well-dressed man, after which it would then transform into some sort of animal or animals, including everything from dogs, cats, and monkeys, to horses, cows, and even odd animals which could not be identified, usually right before startled eyewitnesses’ eyes. Some of the alleged encounters with the phantom creature have been truly odd to say the least, downright bonkers even. In one account, the monster was described as smoothly transforming from a man in a suit into a pig, and then into a bat, after which it flew off into the night. In another account from Easter weekend in 2011, two men were walking near a tavern late at night when they saw a suspicious looking man in a dark jacket loitering about. When one of the two tried to talk to the man they were ignored, and it was then that they realized that the figure had no head. Shortly after this startling realization, the stranger was then reported to have morphed into a dog that was “very angry and big as a cow.” As the two terrified men ran away, the strange creature then purportedly turned on another group of people and transformed yet again, this time into a monkey, before hissing and scampering away into the night. The encounter was apparently not good for the tavern’s business, as customers became too afraid to venture there at night. Sightings of the Steytlerville Monster became so upsetting to panicked local residents that they demanded that the Eastern Cape police do something about it, and apparently townsfolk had several heated meetings with authorities to discuss the matter. According to one law enforcement officer, Warrant Officer Zandisile Nelani, there was even a picture of the thing taken, purportedly showing the creature resting under a tree. According to Nelani, the photo was originally taken of the monster in human form, but when the picture was developed it showed some sort of unidentified animal instead. Although the mysterious intruder caused a good amount of unrest in this otherwise quiet, sleepy town, whatever it was reportedly did not harm anyone. It is difficult to really classify what the Steytlerville Monster could possibly have been, and it is hard to imagine a stranger, or indeed more absurd mystery creature. Tales of another truly strange monster come to us from the jungle choked interior of the vast African Congolese jungles. Here along remote waterways is said to lurk a creature called the Dingonek, which is typically described as being a large amphibious beast anywhere between 3 to 6 metres (9-18 feet) in length, with mottled, scaled skin, a blocky cat-like head sporting two long, curved walrus-like tusks, which has led it to be commonly referred to as the “Jungle Walrus,” and a long finned tail that possesses at its tip a formidable bony stinger which purportedly carries deadly poison and is used in the same manner as that of a scorpion. The Dingonek is said by natives of the region to be extremely territorial and aggressive, likely to viciously attack hippos, crocodiles, humans, or anything else foolish enough to enter its domain with little provocation. Although the local tribes living deep within the isolated jungles have known of this creature for centuries, the Dingotek was long mostly totally unknown to the outside world. The most well-known, and indeed perhaps the only recorded firsthand account of an encounter with the mysterious Dingonek by outsiders occurred in the early 1900s, at a time when explorers were uncovering a wealth of large new animal species in the impenetrable interior jungles of Africa, such as the bongo and okapi. In a 1910 book of travel essays, the explorer and big game hunter Edgar Beecher Bronson wrote of a harrowing confrontation he claimed to have had with the mysterious beast. Bronson relates that he was marching along the shores of Kenya’s River Maggori when he reportedly came across an enormous beast the likes of which he had never seen before. During their trek, some of the native guides who had scouted ahead came rushing back through the thick jungle in a panic and told Bronson that they had seen a beast which they said looked like “a cross between a sea serpent, a leopard, and a whale,” but the explorer had dismissed the story and told them that he’d believe it when he saw it. Apparently he did not have long to wait, as he soon saw it for himself wallowing in the river. Bronson described this initial sight of the creature thus: Holy saints, but he was a sight—fourteen or fifteen feet long, head big as that of a lioness but shaped and marked like a leopard, two long white fangs sticking down straight out of his upper jaw, back broad as a hippo, scaled like an armadillo, but colored and marked like a leopard, and a broad fin tail, with slow, lazy swishes of which he was easily holding himself level in the swift current, headed up stream. Gad! but he was a hideous old haunter of a nightmare, was that beast-fish, that made you want an aeroplane to feel safe of him; for while he lay up stream of me, I had been brought down to the river bank precisely where he had taken water, and there all about me in the soft mud and loam were the imprints of feet wide of diameter as a hippo’s but clawed like a reptile’s, feet you knew could carry him ashore and claws you could be bally well sure no man could ever get loose from once they had nipped him. Blast that blighter’s fangs, but they looked long enough to go clean through a man. Bronson then stood there in bafflement watching the beast for a time as it swam about in the water oblivious to his presence. When the hunter began to fear that it might notice him and attack, he got out his .303 rifle and fired at the creature, hitting it “behind its leopard ear,” which caused it to leap straight up out of the water in a rage. Bronson then claimed that he had run away as fast as he had ever run before into the jungle. When he returned later there was no sign of where the creature had gone, no body, and the perplexed hunter would describe the puzzling scene thus: Gory wonder, was that fellow; a .303, where placed, should have killed anything, for he was less than ten yards from me when I shot, but though we watched waters and shores over a range of several miles for two days, no sight did we get of him or his tracks. As weird as an ill-tempered aquatic walrus-like monster with leopard spots and a scorpion tail is, it is perhaps not even the strangest water cryptid out there. That distinction must certainly belong to a creature alleged to lurk in the depths of Lake Leelanau, Michigan, and which is a lake monster that is as obscure as it is downright odd. With Leelanau meaning “the delight of life” in the local Ojibwa language, Lake Leelanau refers to two lakes within close proximity of each other, and which apart from their alleged strange inhabitant are rather unremarkable as far as lakes go, with one lake being only around 120 feet deep and the other around 62 feet at its deepest. One might pass by these two small lakes without giving them much thought at all, if it weren’t for the tales of something prowling these waters which really defies any easy classification. The story of the creature which would come to be known as the Leelanau Lake Monster, or simply as “Leelanau,” can be traced back to the building of a dam here in the 1800s, which caused the lake’s water level to surge up around 12 feet, flooding surrounding land to create a swampy wetland. It is in this marshy quagmire of mud and reeds that the strange beast would rear its head. The most well-known report of the monster of Lake Leelanau occurred in 1910, when a young fisherman by the name of William Gauthier was out on his rowboat fishing along these wetlands. He was not having much luck that day, and found himself pushing out farther and further into areas where he had never fished or even been to before, finally deciding to stop in a promising spot and tie his boat to a submerged tree jutting from the water. As he wrapped the rope around what he had thought was just a tree, there then allegedly popped up two enormous eyes on stalks, which rose to eye level and glared intently at the terrified youth. It then became apparent that the tree was not really a tree at all, but rather some sort of monstrous, slug-like creature with knobby protrusions over its body and brown coloring that allowed it to blend in with the myriad flooded and toppled cedar trees and tree stumps littering the area. After staring at the boy for a moment, the bizarre creature then is said to have dove under the rowboat, its length reported as being far larger than the boat itself, before disappearing into the marsh while leaving a wake of swaying reeds in its wake. Needless to say, William’s day of fishing was brought to a close, and he rowed as fast as he could out of there. The experience reportedly so badly upset Gauthier that he refused to ever go back to the lake to fish, and would for years show visible fear when recounting the frightening incident. Although this is the most prominent and detailed report of the Lake Leelanau monster, there were numerous other accounts of people on the lake witnessing a large, gnarled looking beast which they had first taken to be a sunken tree before being startled as it suddenly moved or swam off. It is an interesting cryptid account in that whatever this creature was does by no means fit the usual description of lake monsters, and is obviously much different than a large fish, eel, or extinct, prehistoric dinosaur or plesiosaur-type animal. If the Lake Leelanau monster ever really did exist, then it seems to be something quite new and bizarre; a massive, perhaps even an invertebrate life form, that has evolved to camouflage itself as a fallen tree in order to lie in wait for prey. Some of the theories put forward for the sightings are that it was perhaps a very large alligator snapping turtle, some sort of huge, unclassified slug, or simply people seeing things. It is unlikely we will ever know for sure, as there have been no new reports since the early 1900s. These truly baffling creatures seem to be at home on land and in the water, but they are also reported from the air. Since the 1970s, Cornwall, England, seems to have become the haunt of a strange, flying humanoid entity which has come to be known as the Owlman. The creature is supposedly around the size of a man, with an owl-like body covered in grey feathers and with sweeping wings, a round face dominated by two saucer shaped glowing red eyes and pointed or tufted ears, and with feet like pincers topped with wicked looking black claws. The first reported sighting of the Owlman allegedly happened on April 17, 1976, when two girls by the names of June Melling, 12, and her sister Vicky, 9, were out walking along the wooded South West Coast Path, near St. Mawnan’s graveyard. As they were strolling along, it is reported that they noticed a large, humanoid owl-like creature with glowing red eyes hovering in the air over the church tower, after which it shot straight up into the air. The terrified girls ran back home to tell their father, Don Melling, and it was the father who approached paranormal researcher Tony Shiels with the account. The girls would independently give identical descriptions of the mysterious beast and draw similar pictures of it. Another rather high-profile sighting of the Owlman occurred just a few months later, on July 3, 1976. In this sighting, 14-year-old Sally Chapman was camping out with a friend near the same church where the previous sighting had happened. Allegedly, the girls were frightened by a silvery grey, man-sized owl with large glowing red eyes and two-toed pincer-like taloned feet looming outside of their tent, which then hissed aggressively at them before flying up at high speed into the black night sky. The creature would be seen on subsequent nights as well, again in the vicinity of the church. Indeed, the church would prove to be a popular stomping ground for the Owlman, and it would be sighted from time to time in the area over the years all the way up into later times, including a sighting in 1983 in which a couple saw a terrifying winged creature described as being 5 feet tall, with glowing eyes and high ankles ending in large black feet with only two visible toes, as well as a sighting from 1995 of a creature that was described as a man-bird with pointed ears, glowing eyes, and clawed wings. Indeed, sightings of the Owlman have continued sporadically right up to the present day. Theories for what the Owlman could be be include that it is indeed just a large owl that spooked some people, some sort of specter or alien, or even something related to the more well-known Mothman. There are also some indications that point to the possibility that the whole phenomenon was totally fabricated. Tony Shiels, from whom the first popular account originated, has been accused of being rather sensationalist and is a known hoaxer, making it possible that he created the whole story or at least exaggerated certain parts. However, this would imply that all other reports independent of the 1976 Melling case are also lies or hysteria. There has also been the criticism that many of the earlier Owlman reports were made by very young witnesses, who may have been inclined to tell tall tales or were overly imaginative with misidentifications of more mundane things, such as owls or other known wildlife. Again, this still would not account for other sightings made by sane, sober adults who swear by what they saw. Whatever the case may be, flying birdmen with two-toed clawed feet and glowing eyes certainly seem to deserve a spot among the pantheon of truly weird cryptids of the world. In the often already strange world of cryptozoology, some mystery creatures seem to truly stand out from the rest, to the point where they almost seem to need their own classification. What do we make of these tales? Are these alleged mystery monsters the product of myth, tall tales, overactive imaginations, or downright trickery? Are they the result of misidentification, hallucination, or exaggeration? What of if they somehow really are out there? How would they fit into our world and how can we possibly find a place for them in our current accepted knowledge of biology and the natural world? Are these creatures even biological entities at all? Whether this is all myth, real animals, or something far stranger, one thing that seems to be evident is that scattered among the more “mainstream” cryptids such as Bigfoot or the Loch Ness monster are others that go beyond merely strange curiosities to reach new heights of the weird.

The cryptid in question is the Bunyip, an Australian water monster of varying description. The Geelong Advertiser described the creature in July 1845: "The bunyip, then, is represented as uniting the characteristics of a bird and of an alligator. It has a head resembling an emu, with a long bill, at the extremity of which is a transverse projection on each side, with serrated edges like the bone of a stingray. Its body and legs partake of the nature of the alligator. The hind legs are remarkably thick and strong, and the fore legs are much longer, but still of great strength. The extremities are furnished with long claws, and the blacks say its usual method of killing its prey is by hugging it to death. When in the water is swims like a frog, and when on shore it walks on its hind legs with its head erect, in which position it measures twelve or thirteen feet in height."Other descriptions say the bunyip has a dog-like head, flippers, etc. |A drawing of a vicious bunyip from 1890| But now, on to that possible proof of a bunyip. In 1846, Atholl Fletcher found a skull on the banks of the Murrumbidgee River. Multiple aboriginal groups declared that it was the skull of a bunyip. But scientists would disagree. Naturalist William S. Macleay examined the skull and said that it was that of of "young camel or deformed colt." Richard Owen, the man famous for giving dinosaurs that name and a sea serpent skeptic, dismissed the skull as that of a calf. |A drawing of the supposed bunyip skull| So what was it? A camel? A deformed colt? A calf? Or a bunyip? Karl Shuker finds this interesting in his book Still in Search of Prehistoric Survivors: "It is odd that three different identities [not including bunyip] were proffered for the same skull - thus suggesting that it was by no means readily identifiable with a known species." The skull was taken to the Colonial Museum of Sydney, which is now called the Australian Museum, and was displayed there, attracting huge crowds of viewers. But here the story ends, as no one knows where the skull is today. |Photo of the Australian Museum (as it is now known) c. 1870| Is there a bunyip skull somewhere inside? So what was the skull from? I have to agree with Shuker and guess that it may have been from an unknown species of animal, since three scientists all looked at it and each said it was something different from what the other two thought. But what became of the skull? If anyone ever reads this who might now, I'd love to hear from you. Look for another post in the future on some other supposed Bumyip bones found in the 1800s...

Recent exploration activity in the northern region of India uncovered a skeletal remains of a human of phenomenal size. This region of the Indian desert is called the Empty Quarter. They found skeleton of Ghatothkach. The exploration team also found tablets with inscriptions that stated that our Gods of Indian mythologicalyore, Brahma, had created people of phenomenal size the like of which He has not created since. They were very tall, big, and very powerful, such that they could put their arms around a tree trunk and uproot it. They were created to bring order among us since we were always fighting with each other. One of he sons of Bhima of the Pandava brothers is also thought of to have been carrying these genes. Later these people, who were given all the power turned against all our Gods and transgressed beyond all boundaries set. As a result they were destroyed by God Shiva. The Geo Exploration team believes these to be the remains of those people. Govt of India has secured the whole area and no one is, allowed to enter except the NatGeo personnel. Sands and sediments are known to be a good host as preservative of such types of remains. Seeing the conditions of the less damaged weathered bones it can be inferred that the man either died or buried in the sand near the stream or in a stream bed which may have flowed from the area in the geological past and soon become buried in the sediments or it may be recent. In Hindu religion there is saying that in one of the earliest era (Satyug) of the human civilization the general height of the humans were 22 feet. Earlier there have been sightings of exceptionally tall creatures with enormous feet (hence the name Bigfoot)and thick covering of hair on their bodies in remote areas of the United States and Canada- in the Rocky Mountains and the Appalachians-from the earliest times onward. Bigfoot is up to 8 feet (2.5 m) tall, stands upright, and is covered in thick reddish-brown hair. The Himalayan Yeti is another classic cryptid. This world famous creature has actually not been sighted very often. Mostly people find its tracks, which range widely in size between 6 and 18 inches (15-45 cm ) long ( Mysteries of the World by Herbert Genzmer and Ulrich Hellenbrand, published by Parragon Publishing, p. 242). Yet accounts of sightings of this mysterious creature continue right up to the present. Only by the size of the huge skeleton (not reported earlier) it not easy to jump to any conclusion about relating to any ancient human beings or classifying it to any group. But seeing the size of the skeleton found in northern India risk can be taken it to consider it as extinct GIGANTOPITHECUS. According to the different research report Gigantopithecus an enormous primate thought to have inhabited southern China and northern India between 12 million and 500,000 years ago. It was described in 1935 on the basis of individual teeth from a Chinese apothecary. Since 1956, four large fossil jawbones have been identified. Based on fossil evidence, paleontologists speculate that Gigantopithecus had an adult standing height of over three meters (ten feet) and a weight of 550 Kg (1200 lb). Although it is not known why Gigantopithecus died out, researchers believe that climate and resource competition with better adapted species were the main culprits. The fossils of prehuman and ancestral human forms are obtained from widely diverse regions of Africa, Asia and Europe which indicates that man’s centre of origin was probably in Asia and Africa. More precisely man has originated in Central Asia, because the oldest known fossils have been obtained from Asia- China, Java and India (Siwalik Hills).

Saturday, February 09, 2013 We will be having a roundtable on just basic Bigfooting 101, with guests Paul Graves and Derek Randles, and might have a couple of other special guests (TBA) 9:00 EST/8:00 Central. And as always, we encourage you to please tune in and support great research. A "National Geographic" Cryptid Malcolm's Musings Since the big hairy hominid has been hogging headlines, most would forget cryptozoology is a deeper field. Malcolm begins with miniature plesiosaurids high atop South American tepuis. Could these be a case of insular dwarfism, or hypoxia? We're tickled that National Geographic sneaked the reference between its covers. From misty plateus to the depths of ungulates, Greg Newkirk is disgusted at a Human-Like Creature Discovered In Bowels Of Slaughtered Sheep. Seeing is believing and Who Forted has a shot of this 'abomination'. Continuing his coverage of controversial chimpanzees, such as The Bili Bondo Apes - Unmasking The Congo's Giant Chimpanzees, Karl Shuker covers the rediscovery and evolution of an unusual primate subspecies. Bigfoot Handprint, Trail Of Footprints, Who Forted? Browsing the YouTubes, Greg Newkirk stumbled upon a collection of intriguing evidence courtesy of Sasquatch Ontario. Knocks, howls, hand and footprints are yours to discover, and ponder, if confirming Bigfoot is just around the corner. There's hope of this on the horizon as Jeffrey Pritchett finagled an interview with Jeff Meldrum And William Barnes On The Aerial Drone Hunt For Sasquatch. The following message is from Bruce Harrington, Director of Creature Weekend. It's hard to believe we are only months away from another exciting Creature Weekend Conference! Last year, our conference was an incredible success. Thanks to our All-Star lineup of speakers, dedicated volunteers and perhaps the finest audience that any conference could hope for, we hosted a spectacular program in front of a full house at Salt Fork State Park -- Not bad for our first year! With our guided tours of Salt Fork's Bigfoot Hotspots, and free workshops on choosing wildlife surveillance equipment, collecting and analyzing evidence, and casting tracks, we raised the bar on conferences at Salt Fork and had a lot of fun doing it! It was an educational and fun event that the attendees are still talking about almost a year later. As they say, the rest is history... and if you want to be part of history in the making at Salt Fork, please join us for Creature Weekend 2013! This year we are pleased to announce our lineup of speakers for Creature Weekend 2013: Pat Spain - You know him as the intrepid host of the National Geographic Channel's Cryptozoology Reality Show, "Beast Hunter". On this show, we followed Pat as he traveled the world, investigating sighting reports and looking for mysterious monsters. Now, he has arrived at Salt Fork to share his experiences and adventures, both in front of and behind the camera. What really did happen during his expedition to search for the elusive wild man of Sumatra??? This is a rare opportunity that you will not want to miss! David Paulides - The author of "Tribal Bigfoot", "The Hoopa Project", and the popular series, "Missing 411 - Eastern United States:Unexplained Disappearances of North Americans that have never been solved", "Missing 411 - Western United States and Canada:Unexplained Disappearances of North Americans that have never been solved" and the upcoming "Missing 411 - North America and beyond", Dave Paulides has spent the last several years researching missing persons reports at state and national parks all over the US and Canada. During the course of his investigation, he discovered some peculiar patterns that seem to indicate that these disappearances may not be so random and may involve foul play. Who or what could be responsible?? If you have been fortunate enough to hear his interviews on the "Coast to Coast" radio show, you know that his missing persons stories are bone chilling. Dave was also instrumental in bringing the Bigfoot DNA project to fruition. The project, led by Dr. Melba Ketchum, involved analyzing hundreds of Bigfoot DNA samples. Upon mapping out the Bigfoot DNA, Dr. Ketchum made some startling discoveries which Dave will be sharing with us at the conference. Join us for Dave's first appearance at Salt Fork! R. Scott Nelson - Scott Nelson was a trained Crypto-linguist for the United States Navy. His job in the Navy was decoding encrypted transmissions. With his background in languages, he realized that the bigfoot vocalizations that have been recorded by various researchers contain a structure which is consistent with some sort of language. In other words, these bigfoot vocalizations may be part of a larger communication system that these creatures use to interact with members of their own species. Listen to what Scott has to say about his research and you will be surprised at what you will learn. Ron Morehead - On the Friday night of the conference, we will be hosting a private dinner with the speakers. A limited number of tickets will be available to the public for this event and our special guest presenter will be Ron Morehead. Ron will be discussing his life's work, researching Bigfoot in the Sierra Nevadas, as well as his recent adventures in South America. Please note, Ron's presentation is for Friday night only; he will not be speaking at the conference on Saturday. And last but not least, Billy Willard and Doug Waller are back by popular demand! Their presentations entertained audiences last year and earned them some "Microphone time" at this year's conference. Billy Willard, Director of Sasquatch Watch of Virginia, will be discussing recent sightings and encounters in his home state of Virginia. Doug Waller, Director of the Southeastern Ohio Society for Bigfoot Investigations and local Cambridge Bigfoot Researcher, will be talking about the most recent Bigfoot Activity at Salt Fork. Over the next week, we will be releasing information on the Creature Weekend website (including Schedule of Activities, Ticket Prices, vendor table pricing and registration information. Check back at (http://www.creatureweekend.com) for up-to-date conference information. Also, we now have a Creature Weekend facebook page! If you haven't already done so, please go to the Creature Weekend facebook page and "Like" the page. We will be giving away prizes for certain "Like" milestones! Congratulations to Melissa Adair who already won a Creature Weekend Poster for being the 200th person to "Like" our facebook page! One last thing... you are receiving this advance email notification because you pre-registered and attended the Creature Weekend conference last year. At the time you receive this email, the information contained herein has not been posted anywhere else on the Internet, including our facebook page and website. Although the speaker lineup will be posted on our facebook page and website shortly, we wanted YOU to be the first to know. This is our way of saying thanks to all you folks who attended the conference last year and made it such a special event. We hope to see you all back at Salt Fork for Creature Weekend 2013! Director, Creature Weekend Friday, February 08, 2013 Thursday, February 07, 2013 Although it appears to have been overlooked by all media for several years the material presented below will inevitably become one of the greatest news stories of the century. Sometimes it pays to be not a scientist. Dr. Aaron Filler, in his 2007 book “The Upright Ape,” presented ample evidence that all higher primates have been bipedal, walking upright on two feet, for over 20 million years. You don’t have to be a spine surgeon, which Dr. Filler is as well as being a PhD anthropologist, to see that a fossilized lower back vertebrae from an African site dated at 21 million years is almost identical to the corresponding vertebrae of a modern human. Although there are fossil bones, and fossil footprints, showing that primitive higher primates throughout the ages have walked upright, and there are no fossils that suggest that any were quadrupeds, scientists who have been taught, and teach, that human ancestors invented bipedalism after they came down from the trees and split off from the chimpanzees do not seem able to get the message In a special edition of Scientific American dated Winter 2013 and titled “What Makes Us Human” none of the 16 authors showed any awareness of Dr. Filler’s book, and several had things to say based on the old mistaken consensus. But are not chimpanzees quadrupeds? They are plainly trying to be, but they can not really do it because they have the spines of upright animals. With their backs at an angle of about 45 degrees they get around very well using the knuckles of their hands for front feet but they can not ever be normal quadrupeds because their spines do not have the proper attachments to keep them from buckling under load in a horizontal position. And what Dr. Filler does not say, even though he has presented the facts that establish it, is that there is now no shred of evidence that recent human forbears ever lived in trees. To quote something that Dr. Filler does say, most eloquently: “In questioning and rejecting scientific orthodoxy, no mass of credentials will convince a spurned scientist that he or she should give way and accept that they have spent a career believing, teaching, and publishing in error.” Two thirds of Dr. Filler’s book presents an historical overview and then outlines a new look at the origin of species which will undoubtedly be controversial, but the material regarding the origin of human bipedalism contained in the last two chapters is simple to understand and rock-solidly based on physical evidence. And an interesting sidelight to the proof that all higher primates have been bipeds: Until perhaps as recently as 100,000 years ago there lived in China , as established by three fossil lower jaws and a thousand fossil teeth, a giant ape twice the size of a gorilla. Since as a higher primate it must have been upright it matches perfectly the huge, very heavy, manlike footprints which human ingenuity is unable to duplicate, and the immense hair-covered bipeds that thousands of people claim to have seen in Canada and the United States . It follows that the many people who investigate Bigfoot/Sasquatch reports need to realize that their quarry isn’t likely to be some unknown creature sure to be a close human relative because it walks upright, but a proven animal that lived near the land bridge to North America and that already has a scientific name, Gigantopithecus blacki. Wednesday, February 06, 2013 |Highlights from the recent outing to the Cohutta Wildreness| At Squatch Unlimited our objective is to experience this mystery and foster a message of conservatio... The Inquisitr-by Patrick Frye-Feb 4, 2013 Bigfoot DNA is in the news again. Over the last three years, the Russian Bigfoot, or Yeti, was claimed to be a “towering, long-haired beast ... Tuesday, February 05, 2013 Behind the Scenes of Finding Bigfoot: “Bacon for Bigfoot” with Cliff Barackman The Search For The Yeti The Search For The Yeti Russian Scientists Say They Discover Jaws And Skeleton Of Siberian 'Loch Ness Monster' Deep Down Remote Lake's Waters The Voice of Russia We would love to jump on the bandwagon here and get excited about the possibility of finally finding real tangible evidence of lake monsters like Nessie, but this story has all the hallmarks of a hoax or simple rumor, with its dearth of details and absolutely no photographic evidence. Even this report from 1893 of a possible Australian Yowie killed on the road to Cooma in 1893 has more details and frankly, a bit more credibility than the Siberian Loch Ness monster skeleton story. Speaking of Yowie and Russia, comes this amusing report of mistaken identity involving hair sample test results:It's Yogi Not Yeti. Pennsylvania Besieged with UFO and Strange Creature Reports During 2012 UFO Anomalies Zone Stan Gordon gives us a rundown of high-strangeness that seemed to spread throughout the state of Pennsylvania, and with reports of flying, howling creatures to UFOs to glowing eyed "Bigfoot" he isn't exaggerating. Elsewhere, Inexplicata asks, Is a 2013 UFO Flap Underway in Argentina? It would seem so as UFO reports have skyrocketed since the start of the new year. Residents of Santiago Alarmed by UFO that appeared in a photograph taken immediately after two tornadoes ravaged the area. Being so soon after high winds, it seems far more likely the UFO is actually a piece of debris floating through the air. A UFO over Cosquin was also captured on camera but it seems that perhaps Argentina is undergoing a flap of mistaken identity rather than of UFOs...

Reclaiming the Loch Ness Monster from the current tide of debunking and scepticism. If you believe there is something strange in Loch Ness, read on. If something comes up quickly then its nearly impossible to snap a photo. But i am amazed at sightings that last a few mins dont produce a photo. Going back to the 60 ' s for example and ian camerons long sighting lasting half hour or so and witnessed by 8 other people. they must have seen something, and it has happened a few times so im amazed we dont have better photos of what is seen monster or no monster! Well, a certain psychology kicks in if you are confronted with what you believe is a monster. You tend to just stand there agog, fixated on this unusual sight.And the closer it gets to you, the bigger the effect. Some cam overcome this frozen-ness, but I reckon it takes a certain, strong mental attitude. GB that really is the most flimsy excuse for no photos. It doesn't wash at all. You say that because as a sceptic you are less able to understand the shock and awe of seeing a 30ft monster rearing up in front of you. Most witnesses are on land and on the road, which is usually some distance from (or at least above) the water's edge. Statistically anything that surfaces in their field of view is likely to be quite far away. Even if a witness is on a boat, a surfacing animal is statistically not likely to be right on top of the boat.Unless, of course, it is attracted by boats. In which case there ought to be many more sightings. The further away the object is, the less likely shock and awe will prevent a picture.However, the further away the object is, the less convincing the photograph will be.Nessie's Paradox. When you say "monster", surely you actually mean "animal"? Is Nessie somehow the only animal on earth which people are unable to raise a camera to, or is this all just utter nonsense? You're maiking photographing the Loch Ness Monster sound like taking a picture of your pet cat.Nobody should be taken in by that argument. And you are saying Nessie can sometimes frolic around on the surface for many minutes but people are unable to take photos - oh, apart from the various people who took the photos you've been saying are real on these pages. Somehow they managed not to be transfixed eh?Do you seriously think your argument convinces anyone other than those who are desperate to believe in Nessie despite the lack of any convincing photos to back up the spectacular "sightings"? Frolicing for minutes on the surface? Hard cases make bad laws. Such cases are a small proportion of an already small database. You can't make arguments from a handful of cases where a camera may not be present.Some people WILL be transfixed or agog, get over it!But by and large most sightings are hundreds of metres away and will NOT produce the type of picture you demand. I have photographed Moray Firth dolphins at a range of about 100 metres with what is by present day standards a very limited camera (5MP, 10x zoom). The results are more than good enough to identify the species and even recognise some individuals. If Nessie had been there I would have got the most detailed picture of her ever.For the record, I'm not a skeptic, I think people have seen something very strange in Loch Ness, and I visit regularly, camera in hand. But the evidence is that it doesn't surface very often. Ha, agree totally. Very flimsy indeed. Hmmm, im a believer (as the Monkeys sang) but i find your logic here pretty unconvincing Roland.Are you seriously claiming 'shock and awe' on the part of the witness is the reason there aren't far more photographs? Or more good photographs? I'm sure it's indeed not like snapping your pet cat - but i'm equally sure the vast majority of witnesses with a camera to hand would have the presence of mind to get at least one shot off. Elsewhere in the blog you argue that McNab had ample time and presence of mind to deploy 2 cameras and 2 lenses in the few seconds his sighting lasted.Great blog, but unconvincing thinking here for me. 1. It's not the only reason.2. As I said above, some freeze, but some don't. Desperate Dinsdale and a few others had another - equally unbelievable - explanation for the strange disconnect between the number of sightings versus the lack of photos. They used to refer to the Loch Ness hoodoo or hex, some negative magical gobbledegook which they say caused cameras to malfunction or Nessie to do her circus act in the one spot the camera lookouts weren't watching at that moment. Seems that the monster hunters from every era have dreamed up unconvincing explanations for the lack of photos, when there is really only one explanation which makes any sense. But hey, that explanation isn't anywhere near as exciting is it? Good one! Greta Finlay arguably had one of the best close up views of the beastie, and had she had the best camera of today’s technology, I dare say she would have been too dumbstruck and fascinated to use it. Is there any anecdotal evidence to support this theory though? I've been following this phenomenon for years now and i'm hard pushed to think of a sighting report where the witness had a camera to hand, but lacked the presence of mind to deploy it. Hi Glasgow Boy,I have another video if you're curious. Although the video has 'Nessie' in it's title, from the looks of the surrounding area, it wasn't filmed at Loch Ness but I'm sure it looks as if it's been filmed at a lake. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1G76AyW1agNess.Perhaps a not too distant future article for your blog? Wow - fun video. No, not Scotland. Now the lady filming really screams in terror when the head comes up so close to the boat (which is one point about witness panic talked about here), and then she wants to be gone pronto, with no more care for filming (another item to the point).If that had been a still camera she probably wouldn't have anything to show for this encounter with what's obviously a real and rather large animal. She'd have got a couple shots of odd splashing, completely missed the definitive shot when the head pops up for a split second (it's only fully exposed in one frame really), and then no more snaps because all she wants is to get out of there asap. She'd have no evidence to speak of, and yet she saw a lot. Still photography just isn't the tool for the job at Loch Ness.What the heck is that anyway? Very rounded head -- my first guess was False Killer Whale, but the eyes are too far forward. Not a regular orca either, from the lack of white colorations. It's very whale like, but the disturbance to the rear appears to be LATERAL tail swishing. Well im nearly at the ness. Im there for 4 days! Ill be ready if something comes up shock or no shock lol Let's cut thru this armchair pontifcating and hear from one actual witness:Researcher Still Believes in Loch Ness Monster3/13/94LONDON (Reuter) - Researcher Alastair Boyd who helped exposethe most famous Loch Ness monster picture as a fraud stillbelieves in the creature, Britain’s Today newspaper reportedMonday.It quoted Boyd as saying he was convinced he saw Nessie, asthe monster of popular legend is known, in the Scottish loch in1979.``I saw it roll around in the water like a whale. It musthave been at least 20 feet long,’’ he said.``That’s why I’m skeptical of people who claim to have takenphotos. When you see it you don’t have time to fiddle with acamera — you’re too busy picking your jaw off the ground.``It’s ironic, but I still believe there are creatures inthe loch.’’Back to the armchair pontificating! Did Boyd have a camera to hand? Not being funny, but I've see Alastair Boyd on documentaries and he comes across as a very nervy, stuttering sort of man. Quite highly strung I thought. This single sample of ONE PERSON is not representative of 80 years of Nessie experiences. Note too that the above quote shows he disagrees with your armchair pontification about some photos being genuine! Did you miss that bit Roland? Or are you only picking out the parts of his statement which you like? So, seeing something unidentifiable "rolling around like a whale" leaves one "too busy picking their jaw off the ground" to "fiddle with a camera", when that's the precise reason they were there? Right, sure, convenient way to claim a sighting yet provide no kind of evidence despite the ability to do so. It's not like we're talking about a 30-foot beast resembling long-extinct marine reptiles rising up right in front of you; rather, something looking like a whale rolling around. Sorry, don't buy such a lame excuse. Further, anyone looking to profit off the legend of Nessie certainly has a vested interest in claiming a sighting. His camera was nearby, how far in metres I don't know. You better ask Alastair what he thinks of your judgement of him.Two people actually, his wife was beside him. How do you know it is not representative of 80 years of Nessie experiences? Just wondering how your analysis of sightings led to that conclusions or are you just pullimg statements out of the ether?Excuse me, I go to Loch Ness and conduct on site investigations of classic photos, so you can retract the "armchair pontification" bit!I also don't understand what you are saying about Alastair disagreeing with me that some photos being genuine. What were you expecting? Complete unanimity between Nessie believers on what is and what is not geunine? Get real, please. Burton, you can call Alastair a liar if you wish. Strange that if he was seeking to profit off the "legend of Nessie" he goes off and proves the most famous image is a fake! If he was so emotional about preserving Nessie, I doubt he would written such a book.You should give Alastair more credit as a seasoned Loch Ness investigator. Now now Roland, it was you who brought up the subject of 'armchair pontificating'!Surely by the logic being displayed here, anyone who's never been in the position where they have a good sighting and a camera to hand is 'armchair pontificating'? I'm guessing that's all of us, unless someone's going to tell me different?It's all good though. Again though, i don't see a weight of anecdotal evidence to support the theory being put forward here. We have a snippet from Alastair, but we'd need a few more of the same for the theory to have any real credibility. Hence the reason I quote someone who has had the experience of a sighting. Again, I am approaching from the viewpoint of human psychology. The closer one gets to a 40 foot beast which may or may not attack you, the more one gets less concerned about a camera. If there are 40ft beasts in the loch, how come the extensive BBC sonar search revealed nothing of the kind? And really, would such creatures only appear in 1 of 2 ways - either 10 feet away and scaring you half to death, or several hundred feet away and impossible to photograph clearly? Surely the law of averages would result in mid range sightings too - maybe 60ft to 150ft away so you can get a clear photo without messing your kilt? Also strange that "hunters" such as yourself and Steve Feltham (and others) never see Nessie when you have a camera. She has an incredible knack of avoiding people with cameras who are not scared. And I know that each summer there are hundreds of camera holding people at the loch, just desperate to film Nessie. You're beginning to diverge here, why should the BBC sonar scan find anything?What do you know about it and what (in theory) should a Nessie sonar hit look like?How many 40ft beasts do you postulate are in the loch since you have asked?What do you mean by mid range sightings? People see the creatures over a mile away or 100 yards away. A mid range based on that would be over half a mile!I never see Nessie without a camera either. You overestimate how frequent and proximate such sightings are.All straw men arguments. I clearly meant that a sample group comprising of Alastair Boyd is not a big enough sample to extrapolate out to your theory that the lack of photos is due to some kind of "shock and awe" syndrome. Like an anonymous poster above touches upon - where is the evidence of people with cameras in hand being unable to lift and press? Where are all the accounts of this happening? No, you said one sample was not representative of 80 years of sightings. How do you know that? I know you will try and ask me the same, but you said it first!I will look up the cases when I have time, but the initial premise was based on human psychology. You seem to think people cannot freeze and stand agog at amazing sights. I can't let you away with such a dismissive statement. Quite simply, I have never heard of a single case of someone holding a camera in their hand, looking at Nessie, but unable to click. That is what your entire case is built on. So where are the reports?I'm a sceptic and I don't think Boyd is a liar. On the other hand, I don't think he's a very typical guy either. Shame he didn't take photos - he and his wife could have had a rethink about how they interpreted what they saw if they had a photo sequence to study. Let's widen the sample group a bit. You believe the Hugh Gray and the Peter McNab photos to be genuine. Clearly neither man froze or stood agog. In fact McNab apparently had the presence of mind and the time to change lenses on his Exakta camera - not a quick process, and with no autofocus he would need extra time to focus manually afterwards. I am not sure we are talking about "camera in hand" here, more like "camera in nearby car" or something like that. My comments here were based on human psychology. As I said, I would have to sift thru reports to find any which talk about this. David, Peter MacNab was an amateur photographer and frequent camera user. He would have been self-taught in automatically reaching for his camera.As for Hugh Gray, my guess would be his experience fighting in World War One (he was certainly on a minesweeper) hardened him against shocks. My point being, I never said everyone would freeze, but a certain percentage will. Roland, you need to accept that people (including believers) just aren't buying this one. You need a different angle here. What? That people cannot be like "rabbits in a headlight" when confronted by a "monster"? Disprove please. Disprove?? Surely it's your job to provide evidence to support the theory you're putting forward here.Show me body of evidence and i'll accept your theory. Until then it's just conjecture i'm afraid. No more than sceptics think they don't have to prove the opposite stance. GB, we don't need to disprove it - no one except Boyd has ever mentioned feeling this way. It's quite simply not a documented phenomenon, so therefore the burden of proof lies with you. You need to back up your theory here. Really! I think its the sceptics that are clutching at straws calling Alistair Boyd a liar ( and his wife) !!!! I don't think Boyd or his wife are liars, but I think they were mistaken. This almost trance-like state he alludes to does not sound like a good state of mind for making clear, unemotional judgments on what appears in front of you. I wonder how a person's recollection of what they just saw is affected when they snap out of this odd mental state? Trance-like? You implying he was on LSD? Ho ho, I'll assume that was a joke GB. I'm referring to this strange, bewildered state of mind Boyd refers to which leads him to believe no one could ever take a photo of Nessie. No, clutching at straws is believing everything as gospel, pointing to incredibly minimal evidence as proof, and using negatives and excuses to prove and further those beliefs.I wasn't calling Boyd a liar, but so we're not mincing words, call it whatever you like. Somebody who has a vested interest in an agenda will say or do things that follow suit of said agenda. I wouldn't call Mr. Dinsdale a liar, but I don't believe his claimed "head/neck" sighting of the early 1970's. Many empty years of absolutely zero evidence of a belief Tim gave up his career for, after the film which sparked renewed and sustained interest in the phenomenon and was forever surrounded by doubt(and eventually proven to be a boat), Tim saw what he wanted to see. Ted Holiday is another example. He claimed a sighting near the Foyers River of a "mustard-coloref creature that looked like an upturned boat". He would later question his own sighting and say it may have indeed been nothing more than a boat. He claimed witness to other strange encounters and changed his beliefs to the more eccentric and fantastic side as time and a lack of solid evidence wore on. I don't brand him a liar as he fully believed what he believed, I would imagine. Boyd claiming a sighting doesn't make him a liar either, but seeing something strange and claiming it was the creature certainly benefits him, and that can't be questioned. Debunking the Surgeon's Photo has nothing to do with his own beliefs or sighting. Why back something you have been told and know is a fraud? That does nothing but hurt your own credibility. You don't have to take any and all evidence as canon to be a believer, and doubting evidence doesn't make you a sceptic. That argument is as silly as cold hands and shock & awe stopping you from taking a photograph of a creature in the Loch. Again, how does something unidentifiable rolling around like a whale stun somebody beyond ability to function? It doesn't. Finally, the giant squid comparison needs to end. Mid-to-deep-water, water-breathing creatures living in vast oceans don't make a good comparison to alleged creatures that break the surface and even come on land, for crying out loud! Further, how many giant squid carcasses, photographs, and videos have we seen? They certainly have been proven to exist by sound, solid, irrefutable evidence with no ambiguity clouding them. Unfortunately, the same can't be said for Nessie. I might as well throw my two cents into this mix. I agree with GB. Here's why. I live in a very rural locale in the pacific Northwest. Over the years I have seen many bears while walking/hunting/goofing off in the forest. Sows with cubs, males alone, cubs by themselves, bears sliding down trees, etc. I generally have a small camera with me. I have never been able to snap a shot of a common animal like a bear. Go figure, skeptics. GB is right. I get the distinct feeling that the skeptics here on this site would crap their knickers first on a sighting and not even think of their camera. It takes a cool head to snap a pic of something 'unreal.' I find it almost impossible to get a photo of something as mundane as a bear. You got to work at it. richard Indeed, people seem to be implying it's like photographing your pet cat. I don't see anyone suggesting it's like phographing a pet cat. I might say that's a "straw man" argument, but it seems clear that people generally use that phrase when they feel they're losing a debate.No, I think the bear analogy is absolutely perfect. According to Richard, bears are very difficult to film. However, because they actually exist, we have literally thousands of vivid photographs and video films viewable on the Internet and on TV. Thank you Richard, you could not have helped the sceptical case more if you'd tried to. By the way, do you believe in the Sasquatch by any chance? Yet there are literally thousands of perfectly clear pictures of bears in the wild taken by amateur photographers, and in regions far less busy than Loch Ness.Again, this is not a theory we're seeing being put forward on this thread. It's pure conjecture. Hello, Geordie.. Your last sentence reeks of snark. I could be wrong, so I will reply as if I am wrong and you are merely politely inquiring about another cryptid. Why, yes, I do think Bigfoot exists. Two miles from my home is a heavily forested road called 'Bigfoot Road'. For a good reason. Around here, you would be hard pressed to find folks who do not 'believe' in Bigfoot/Sasquatch. For me, bears ARE difficult to photograph, as my encounters are usually quick,unexpected, are of short duration, plus the slight danger factor. Kinda' like most Nessie encounters, imo. This does not prevent others from taking clear images of bears. My hat is off to them. My nature is to be skeptical, Geordie, but I have seen enough animal oddities to entertain the existence of Nessie. Or Bigfoot.Regards, richard Ah, see that's altogether different and i would much more readily accept the brevity of encounters as a theory for the lack of photographs. It's a much more feasible suggestion than 'shock and awe' in my opinion.So in my view - if a sighting lasted only a few seconds, that seems a reasonable suggestion for why a picture was not taken. Also, many people don't carry cameras - that also seems a reasonable suggestion for why pictures aren't taken.'Shock and awe'? I don't buy it. And there's still no anecdotal evidence been produced to support that theory. Let us say you (that being anyone) starts with the assumption that an animal exists that exposes enough of itself, and regularly enough, and for long enough at a time, to result in definitive surface photographs on at least an occasional basis. (Factored into all of these "enoughs" is that they suffice to offset the fallibility of the human photographers, whatever amount that would be.)To test your assumption, you can compare it to the existing photographic evidence, and in this case you'd correctly find it lacking. This indeed disproves your assumption that an animal exists that exposes enough of itself, and regularly enough, and for long enough at a time, to result in definitive surface photographs.This type of "skeptical" viewpoint where surface photographs are concerned is actually a tautology, and therefore inadmissible.That leaves two other possible assumptions that DO pass a comparison test with the scant photographic evidence.You can argue there's no animal -- but that's really hard to reconcile with so much eyewitness testimony, so much history, some inexplicable sonar contacts, and at least one good hydrophone recording. Not to mention some of the photos we do have, as inconclusive as they may be.Or you can assume there IS an animal which just does NOT expose enough of itself, and NOT regularly enough, and NOT for long enough at a time to give us (fallible humans) those nice surface pictures we want.A non-photogenic Nessie is easily the more parsimonious explanation of the two. It doesn't require us to explain away anything. There have been many non-photogenic aquatic animals, the giant squid being a case in point, and likely many more awaiting discovery. On the other hand one may think the total lack of solid evidence points strongly towards eyewitnesses being mistaken in various ways. You pick which side feels right to you. Wow GB, you sure enjoy leaving it a very long time before posting up sceptics' replies! Actually, everyone's comments if you care to look. Other things take priority sometimes. MY reply waited four days too Geordie, and I don't think you'd call it skeptical. Bloggers have lives! Or at least they should. True enough. Loving this intelligent debate your pages seem to provoke, by the way. Another reason for 9 months of the year is cold hands !!!! Hard fumbling about with a phone camera when ur hands are cold. Few times last week i tried to take sum snaps of various things but the cold on your hands is defo a problem .....as daft as it sounds :) I'll pack my gloves, preparing for next visit right now! "Nessie and 5 of her offspring frolicked in the water 20 yards away for 15 minutes, but god dammit I'd forgotten to bring my gloves.":-) Glad i took mine lol Hey Guys, I need to take some time off and deal with a bereavement. We shall "clash swords" later no doubt. Condolences, Roland. Sorry to hear that. Thanks, funeral tomorrow. Latest news on Nessie http://t.co/vlsvTsaZK4 I covered this last December. :)http://lochnessmystery.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/another-strange-satellite-image.html

|Krampus, from Paranormal Books and Curiosities| 1. Krampus: Paranormal Books & Curiosities out of New Jersey is selling this delightful glass artwork for $14.95. But who is Krampus and what does he have to do with Christmas? Look for a Krampus post here on Theresa's Haunted History in December, but in short, Krampus is a beastly companion of St. Nicholas who pays a visit to and punishes the naughty children of northern Europe. He arrives on the night of December 5, and for those who are particularly naughty, he takes them away to his lair in a sack. |Jersey Devil, from Paranormal Books and Curiosities| 2. The Jersey Devil: Also from Paranormal Books and Curiosities comes this more traditional glass bulb ornament featuring New England's favorite cryptid. This one is a bargain at $9.95. I really love how elegant these look! They'll definitely add a more subtle nod to the unexplained on your Christmas tree. |Bigfoot, from Toscano| 3. Bigfoot: This 2010 design from Toscano is a real work of art...and is one of the most festive Bigfoot ornaments I've seen on the market. It's hand painted resin, which sounds pretty durable, and can be yours for $9.95. |Frankenstein by Hallmark| 4. Frankenstein's Monster: Available as part of Hallmark's 2014 collection. This Universal Monsters favorite is only $14.95 and can be purchased online or at your local Hallmark store. As an added bonus, this particular ornament has a pretty broad appeal; paranormal enthusiasts will enjoy it, but so will literati and fans of classic horror movies. |Cthulhu, from Amazon| 5. Cthulhu: This is a strange little Cthulhu ornament--it resembles more of a classic alien representation with a curly beard of octopus tendrils than H.P. Lovecraft's iconic creature, but its so cute and festive with its lil' Santa hat! Seriously, who wouldn't love that on the tree this holiday season? This one is being sold for $8.45 through Amazon. |Alien, from Bronners Christmas Wonderland| 6. Alien: There are tons of awesome alien/ufo ornaments available from a variety of sources and at a variety of price points, but I chose this guy from Bronner's Christmas Wonderland. He's made in Poland of high-quality glass, and costs $21.99. |Zombies, from Amazon| 8. Mothman: This one actually comes from my personal collection! This was purchased many years ago at the annual Mothman Festival, and I haven't been able to find a similar one to share here. Sorry for the terrible picture...this was a very shiny ornament and I was taking this photo at 3am, so no natural light was available, lol. *Gotta throw a shout-out to the awesome blog, Ghost Hunting Theories. When trying to find a particular photo for this blog, I realized that she'd already beat me to a paranormal ornament post, lol! Check out that list at the link above.*

Four mysterious creatures have been sighted - on my nails! Read on to find out which mythical beasts, plus a bonus polish! A Cryptid is described as a creature whose existance has been suggested but never proven by actual science. Despite the lack of hard evidence, people are fairly obsessed with Cryptozoology, and love to share stories about sightings of these famed beasts. As a kid I pored over my Reader's Digest "Mysteries of the Unexplained", reading with a chill up my spine about Half beast half men and strange demon like creatures. When I found out this collection by Mod Lacquer was themed around Cryptids I was very excited! First up, one of the most popular unexplained beasts - The Sasquatch, also known as Bigfoot. Sasquatch has a brown flecky base that glows warm in the sun. Across it's surface lays lovely golden flecks. Application was great, with two layers making it opaque. Very little effort has to be put into making sure the flakes are spread evenly - they pretty much take care of themselves! Dry time was quick with my new bottle of Seche Vite fast drying topcoat - I know some people have issues with Seche but I never have, and there is just no beating how awesomely fast it dries the whole nail! Next up is Chupacabra, a demonoid creature rumored to kill goats, most commonly in Puerto Rico and other parts of the southern Americas. In polish form, Chupacabra is a sheer black jelly with loads of green hex, most of them holo, floating within. It's nearly opaque with 2-3 coats depending on the thickness of the layers, and is SO deep and gorgeous. This is my favorite out of a great group of polishes! Look how squishy and wonderful it is! The holo hex fling rainbows all over the place and make me very happy. It dried quickly for a jelly, with the help of Seche Vite of course! Love Love Love. The Loup Garou, or werewolf, is one of the more common Cryptids today. It has become commercialized by movies and books... people are fascinated with the idea of a beast within! Loup Garou is a clear based glitter topper with tons of red, yellow, orange and black micro bars. They stack in such a way that they give the appearance of hair - or fur! I applied 2 layers here over a layer of a prototype sent to me by Carpe Noctem Cosmetics, and I really like the way it turned out. I'm not normally a fan of bar glitter but these are small and stick well to the nail. I have worn it a whole day with no peeling up of any of the glitters, something I cannot normally say for bars. Dry time is super fast. This polish is definitely unique! The Jersey Devil is a screaming demon like creature that is said to live in the pine barrens of New Jersey, first spoken about by the native indian tribes from the area. The polish is a sheer black base with medium, small and micro hex in yellows, oranges and reds. Some of the hex are holographic, reminiscent of the hex in Chupacabra but not exactly the same. This polish is a little thicker, in part due to the micro hex, but if you keep the layers thin and allow dry time between each coat it shouldnt be too difficult. I used 2 coats here, dabbing and then lightly brushing to smooth the top. Seche Vite was a big help in drying this quickly, but there was a small amount of texture left over on the surface. I didn't want to make it too thick on the nail so I did not use Glitterslayer to smooth it, but I could have easily if I wanted to - or if I had used one layer of Jersey Devil over a black base, to cut down on layers. Mod Lacquer also sent me a mini of their LE "Breaking Mod", a sheer light blue base with beautiful white glitter of different sizes. I applied it over "Back that A$$ up" by Pretty Bitch Polish, which is a sky blue holographic. I'll be showing that one off on it's own soon, but I knew it would make a perfect base for this Breaking Bad inspired polish. I couldn't help but whistle "Blue sky day" while swatching this! What you see is two coats dabbed over 2 coats of PB, with a layer of seche to top it all off. I really like how sheer some of the glitters are, creating a lot of layering and depth! You don't have to be on drugs to appreciate this one, but it certainly wouldn't hurt! Please check out the Mod Lacquer Instagram for lots more pics of her awesome polish, or follow her on FB for updates!

In a very intriguing and notable post, good mate and fellow cryptid-hunter Neil Arnold digs into the subject of one of Britain's most ancient of all creepy-critters: the Black Dog. As Neil says in part: "Miriam Carroll recalled in ’63 how, whilst driving to Alton, she saw a terrifying black dog clasp a lamb through a barbed-wire fence. The monstrous hound tore at the victim, ripping its head off through the fence, leaving the witness shaken, as she drove to the nearby farm to report the incident. A year later a policeman, whilst chatting to two Irish tourists at 1:15 pm, saw a massive black dog heading their way. Without warning the beast leapt at them, pinning all three of them up against a bus shelter. One of the Irishmen could only react by swiping at the hideous form with his bag, which passed through the creature. The monster dog then vanished, leaving all three men stunned with disbelief." And if that extract has got you interested in reading Neil's article in full, here's the link!

1920. A group of four exhausted men reach the banks of the Tarra River. The only survivors of a 20 man expedition that begun in 1917, looking for petroleum along the Colombia and Venezuela border. The group was cut down by disease, natives and parasites. One night, whilst camping by the river, they encountered two strange creatures. They were irritated and heading for the camp. They gestured and howled wildly. They started flinging their excrement at the battered group. Terrified, one of the decimated expedition shot dead one of the creatures. The other ran away. As the group began to investigate, they soon realised that what they had killed was no ordinary creature… François de Loys, the expedition leader, said the creature resembled a spider monkey, except it had reddish fur and no tail. It was also huge, nearly two yards tall. De Loys took numerous photos of the animal, but most were lost when his boat capsized. Only one photo survived. De Loys, a Swiss oil geologist, hid the photo. But the photo and the accounts of de Loys were discovered, many years later. Together, they showed and described characteristics of an ape-like animal not associated with apes of that part of the world, such as the lack of a tail and its large size. Most established scientists immediately rejected the claims it was a new creature and said that it was a spider monkey, altered or manipulated to appear different. They also argued that its size couldn’t be accurately judged, either, nor could anyone tell if it had a tail. They agreed it was all a hoax by a man famed for his pranks. As if any more nails needed to be hammered into the coffin, a recent discovery has shed new light on the photo. For years, the only version publicly seen was a cropped version of the original photo, only showing the creature. But an uncropped version was discovered recently. In it, on the right, a banana tree can be seen. But they are not indigenous to South America, where the photo was supposedly taken. At the very least, it wasn’t taken where de Loys said it was. It brings into question his honesty and validity. It makes one wonder what else he is lying about. Yet despite all this, many still believe in de Loys’ Ape. They argue it is some unknown creature. They argue that de Loys didn’t pull a prank because he hid the photo away – a prankster would’ve displayed it, proudly. And they argue that the discrepancies in the photo and his story make sense considering how traumatised he must’ve been after such a dreadful expedition. But then again, many argue that he hid the photo because he was ashamed of the ‘prank’. Or perhaps he was trying to make the expedition ‘worth it’, considering how many died. The story of this creature, even today, remains hugely controversial. Many different and conflicting stories and interpretations paint the tale of de Loys and his ape in completely different lights. In this case, 100% accuracy is impossible. We’ll likely never know if this creature was really an unknown species, a hoax or an honest misidentification. For cryptozoologists, it will forever remain a mystery. So I’ll give this creature a 50 on my patented Cryptid-o-Meter, putting it bottom of the list with the Beast of Exmoor still holding top spot. De Loys’ Ape. A fascinating cryptid indeed. 1) The famous uncropped photo of de Loys’ Ape (credit: wikipedia.org) I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. You can leave a comment and/or like this post below, or by clicking the title on the top of this post if you are on the ‘Archives’ page. Likes and follows greatly appreciated. Thanks. Please feel free check out the latest posts from my other two blogs: The Indelible Life of Me New Post Every Sunday Click Here to Read the Latest Post Hark Around the Words New Posts Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday Click Here to Read the Latest Post

Friday, December 17, 2010 The Adjule is a canine cryptid reported in North Africa in and around the areas of the Sahara and Mauritania. The nomadic Tuaregs report it as looking like a dog or wolf but now is concidered an isolated population of African Wild Dog. Alternative names are kelb el khela ("bush dog") for the male and tarhsît for the female as well as Kelb-el-khela. And in 1992 there was a reported sighting by hunters of a dog that resembled and African Wild Dog and hunted in packs, though this hasn't been confirmed. The Adjule could be an isolated population of the AWD's but could also be a remnant population of some other African canine species; until we have proof it could go either way.

LEON, SAMOA – A Fiji Mermaid was denied federal student aid, and debate over mutant and Islander rights has exploded. Jason Ratu Choudhry is a mermaid of Fiji descent living in American Samoa. His family swam away from their homeland during the military coup of 2000 with only whatever possessions they could strap to their fins. Jason had hoped to enroll at college this year, but he is being denied Federal financial student aid. The government is denying Jason’s request since he is technically not a US citizen. Mr. and Mrs. Choudhry believe he is being treated unfairly due to being a Fijian and a mermaid. “Dozens of times we have applied for citizenship!” says Arthur Choudhry. “But Samoa isn’t a state, so that made things difficult. Then the form asked for race, and there was no box to write in mermaid! Then we were told to go through the Bureau of Mutant Affairs, and they don’t have an office within 800 miles of here!” Arthur Choudhry has worked with the Coast Guard for eight years and his wife Maria works at the local aquarium. Without financial aid they cannot afford to send Jason or to college. Currently Jason helps bring money into the home by posing for pictures with tourists who pretend to have caught him with a fishing rod. Mutant and Islander rights groups are up in arms over the issue believing this is indicative of the unfair treatment given to two underrepresented minorities. Debate has begun again in the halls of Washington over what rights should be given to island territories and mutants seeking citizenship. Opponents claim that providing assistance denies the territories cultural identity, and in this economy the last thing the government needs is to hand out more money. The National Association for the Advancement of Cryptid-People in conjunction with the Mutant Anti-Defamation League is putting together a fund that will allow Jason to go to school in the fall. Jason hopes to attend NYU or UCal to study Underwater Archeology and French.

Behind the Paranormal 2 is the new book from the father and son team of Paul Eno and Ben Eno. The book’s subtitle is Bigfoot, Mothman and Monsters You Never Heard Of. As you will already have deduced, this is a book which is definitively cryptozoology-based. So, yes, you get to read a great deal about strange creatures – such as Sasquatch, the Chupacabra, the Mongolian Death Worm, lake-monsters, sea serpents, Dogmen and much more. But, that’s not all: Behind the Paranormal 2 provides the reader with good, interesting insights into the lives of those people who devote so much of their time to searching for creatures that science and zoology assure do not and cannot exist. The good thing about this particular book is that there is a great deal of variation – in terms of the beasts that are sought out and their nature too. In other words, we’re talking about how some of the investigators in the book take the view that the “cryptids” of our world are flesh and blood, whereas others (like me) are of the opinion that we are dealing with something much stranger. Supernatural, even. Certainly, one of the most fascinating sections of the book is that which is focused on the Bigfoot-themed research and work of the late Rob Riggs. I knew Rob well, and spent a lot of time with him roaming around Texas’ massive Big Thicket, which is said to be a hot-spot for Bigfoot activity, as Rob noted in his 2001 book, In the Big Thicket. While Rob was a firm believer in Bigfoot, he came to conclude that there is something very weird about the creatures. He is quoted in the book as follows: “There’s another phenomenon in the Big Thicket known as the ghost lights. [Researcher] Tom Burnette and I have concluded that the lights are somehow connected with Bigfoot. We believe that Bigfoot is part of what, in Britain, they call ‘Earth mysteries,’ part of a range of phenomena that occurs in specific areas due to the presence of aberrant energy fields.” As is the case with her own writings, Linda Godfrey’s section of the book does not disappoint in the slightest. While the werewolf-like Dogman phenomenon is certainly one of the most controversial of all within cryptozoology (with some concluding that it should not be classed in the domain of cryptozoology and, instead, in that of the supernatural), Linda has never shied away from focusing on the really weird side of cryptozoology. Linda reveals how she got into the field, when she was working as a journalist in 1991. It was undeniably something which changed her life. As was the case with Rob Riggs, we get to learn that Linda does not dismiss the paranormal aspect of the Dogman enigma. This is where what are known as “spirit animals” – and their links to Native American culture – come into play. The Cheyenne people, in particular, Linda tells Paul and Ben, have a rich history of what they term “Dog Soldiers.” Clearly, we are not looking at regular animals. Linda’s work suggest we’re dealing with something that can negotiate various realms: the physical and the spiritual planes. And, then, there’s the Mothman. This particular section is a lengthy one, which is not surprising, as the 1966-1967 saga of the Mothman of Point Pleasant, West Virginia is a long and complicated one. And creepy, too. One of the several people interviewed for this section is Susan Sheppard, who grew up in the area and who has expert knowledge of the Mothman, its history, and the local lore concerning what it may be. This is hardly surprising, as Susan had her own experience as a child, which involved her hearing “footsteps on our roof, like someone had dropped out of a helicopter. It was between two and three in the morning.” Jeremy Robinson’s work in the field of what has become known as the Gloucester, New England Sea Serpent makes for good reading. Jeremy takes the view that the beast – or beasts – fall into the flesh-and-blood category. Paul and Ben’s interview with Jeremy amounts to a solid, historical look at the story of the mighty leviathan of the deep. Meanwhile, former zoo-keeper Richard Freeman tells the notable story of how he and a colleague, back in 2008, may very well have had an extremely close encounter with an Almasty, a hair-covered humanoid said to dwell in the heart of the Caucasus Mountains. It was in the early hours of the morning, and when the area was blanketed in darkness, that the pair suddenly heard “a deep guttural vocalization. Something was moving with two legs on the veranda.” On top of all that, we have a good profile of legendary cryptozoologist Loren Coleman, my road-trip-style excursions to Puerto Rico in search of the Chupacabra, flying humanoids, and cryptid-based conspiracy theories. And, the dedication to the hunt in hand comes across in fine fashion, too: the enthusiasm that shines through is both welcoming and encouraging. If you want to learn about not just Cryptozoology, but the many and varied people for whom looking for unknown animals and monsters is almost their life’s work, then Behind the Paranormal 2 is an excellent book to get your teeth into.

Why Bigfoot Is Fake: Bigfoot Debunked! Is Bigfoot Fake? This article is intended to debunk the Bigfoot myth and show proof that Bigfoot is fake. There is a lot of debate over whether this creature is real or not, and here you'll read about compelling evidence that shows we've all been duped. Of course those who consider themselves to have a highly rational mind don't need to be told any of this. Without solid proof and evidence that shows the existence of Sasquatch no scientifically minded person would admit to a belief in the Big Guy. But deep inside I think we all like to believe there are still mysteries in this world, hidden from our view and awaiting discovery. Perhaps this is where myths like this take root, not in logic but in hope. Some of my more regular readers may be thinking, "What the heck is going on here? Has Cryptid lost it?" After all, most of my posts are intended to cultivate the things insides us that give us reason to believe the fantastic is possible, and the unlikely is more likely than we think. I have written a great deal on facts that show Bigfoot is real. But I also profess an open mind about such things, and therefore must, on occasion, take a hard look at the other side of the coin. So here it is, the other side of the coin. Bigfoot debunked. The North American Great Ape The most common theory about Bigfoot is that he is some kind of undiscovered species of primate, ape-like but more intelligent and more evolved than any we currently know of. Some researchers refer to it as the North American Great Ape, though the species is, of course, theoretical. But there is a problem with this idea. There are no other apes in the Americas, and no evidence that apes ever existed in the Americas. There are monkeys in South America, but they are very different from old-world monkeys, and have about 40-million years of evolution separating them. There is no evidence that indigenous apes or monkeys ever existed in North America. However, there is a concept called Bigfoot-Giganto Theory that explains how the creature evolved from an ancient ancestor in Asia and migrated to America. But even if this is true, where is the evidence? No fossils or bones have ever been found. Logic and the lack of available evidence suggest this is not a North American Ape. It's equally illogical to assume it is some kind of human species. Neanderthal was the last human species on Earth, besides us of course, and the description does not match what we know about Neanderthal. The main issue with linking Bigfoot to any human species is one of intelligence. Even a very primitive human species would be using tools and weapons, building fires, constructing shelters, and leaving other evidence behind for us to find. In short, if something like Neanderthal was still out there, or any other species of primitive human, we would know it. Sasquatch and Native Americans Anthropologists will tell you there is anecdotal evidence of Bigfoot among the tribes of North America. Many Native American cultures have a long oral tradition that includes tales of large, hairy, human-like creatures lurking in the forest. To some researchers this is proof enough that the creature has been here at least as long as humans. But anthropologists (at least the ones interested in keeping their teaching tenures and grant money) will tell you something else: Many Native American stories are a mix of the real, the spiritual, and good, old-fashioned yarn spinning. Remember, these are cultures that kept their history by oral storytelling, not by writing it down in books. In some cases this oral tradition may have spanned thousands of years, and included stories of animals that didn't exist anymore, or existed in some part of the world where their ancestors had migrated from. These were also people who needed to make sense of a confusing and sometimes terrifying natural world. Religious beliefs and spiritual explanations for things they couldn't understand played a big part. Some other Native American myths include lake monsters, shape-shifters, fairy-like creatures, and horned serpents. Is it all real? Or is it more logical to say Bigfoot is one facet of a very rich and complicated spiritual belief system and oral tradition? The First Bigfoot Hoax Of course Native Americans didn't call it Bigfoot. That name didn't come around until 1958 when logging company employees discovered massive footprints at a worksite near Bluff Creek, California. Obviously some huge, bipedal creature had been tromping around during the night! The newspaper got hold of the story, invented the name, and the rest is history. But some people don't realize that the first-ever Bigfoot story may also have been the first-ever hoax. The logging company site where the tracks appeared was owned by a man named Ray Wallace. Following the discovery of the tracks, Wallace went on to become an amateur researcher and somewhat of an oddball celebrity in the cryptozoology community. However, following his death in 2002, his own family revealed that he had hoaxed the prints using a pair of big, wooden feet. Not only that, but Wallace left other fake evidence for Bigfoot researchers to stumble over. It seems Ray Wallace was quite a prankster, and his joke reverberates to this day. Many serious researchers will tell you they didn't take Wallace seriously anyway, and his shenanigans did nothing to impact the real work done on the Sasquatch phenomenon. Still, the Wallace story doesn't help Bigfoot's credibility in the eyes of the general public. Prints and Casts One of the problems with the Wallace tale is the way the public tends to generalize. When they hear some guy was out there faking evidence all of these years, they assume he is responsible for all of the interesting evidence collected over the years. That's it: Bigfoot debunked. Logically, that just isn't possible. Bigfoot footprints have been found all around the continent, many long after the years Wallace was active. Often they are in places where it doesn't make sense for a prankster to venture, or expect anyone to find their work if they did. So, if all prints can't be attributed to hoaxers, what explains them? Bear and other wild animal tracks. Surely even those who haven't seen a bear track can tell the difference between bear and human-like footprints. But when a bear steps in its own footprint just right it creates what appears to be an elongated human foot. Add in degradation brought on by the elements and it's easy to see how animals like bears could be making tracks that look like huge, human footprints. Bigfoot researchers say they know the difference, but how would they know if they were wrong? Bigfoot pictures suffer from the same issues as video. Why can't the guy stand still for a proper photo at least? There are plenty of supposed images floating around the web, notably the Jacobs Photos from Pennsylvania (which skeptics say is a black bear), the Silver Star Mountain pics (which skeptics say is another hiker) and a picture of what looks like a mangy Bigfoot shot by a Vermont trail-cam. What do they call have in common? You guessed it: None show a clear image of the subject in question, but instead show it in shadow or contorted positions. However, there is one somewhat clear image of an alleged Bigfoot, shot by an unknown photographer circa the year 2000 in the Myakka River region of Florida. Sure it's hiding behind a bush, but it looks like something that could be Bigfoot. Skeptics cite an escaped orangutan and an outright hoax as possible explanations. The Myakka Skunk Ape photo is definitely interesting, but I don't think it counts as proof that the creature exists. Again, such things are just too easily faked. Bigfoot Video Evidence Video evidence is among the most disputed evidence out there. On the surface, one would think clear video evidence showing Bigfoot in the wild would be bulletproof, and the critics would have to admit it is real once and for all. Of course that never happens. Video is always grainy, out of focus, or shot in such an obscure way that the subject is hard to recognize. Was that Bigfoot running across the field, or a guy in an ape suit? Unless we can clearly tell what we're looking at, video evidence amounts to pretty much zero. In some cases video is hoaxed, such as with the famous Snow Walker Video. Now, in the age of YouTube, it's all too easy for anyone to fake sensational sighting and post it for the world to see. The Patterson-Gimlin film, shot all the way back in 1967 using 16mm film, remains the most compelling piece of video evidence to date. But even this historic clip has its doubters. Several people have come forward over the years claiming the film is a hoax, including (allegedly) the guy in the ape suit and the company that made the costume. It's also worth noting that the video was shot along Bluff Creek, the same Bluff Creek associated with Bigfoot hoaxer Ray Wallace. To date, nobody has been able to prove or refute the Patterson-Gimlin Film, and it remains a curious part of Sasquatch lore. The Patterson-Gimlin Film Bigfoot is spotted around the world. From Florida, to Alaska, and on over to Asia, people see large, hairy, bipedal creatures that they can't explain. Australia has the Yowie, a Bigfoot-type beasty with roots dating all the way back to when the first humans arrived on the continent. Even South America has a Bigfoot kind of thing. The Mapinguari is more often thought of as an extant giant ground sloth, but some claim it resembles a large, bipedal ape. If Bigfoot is fake then it stands to reason that whatever all of these people think they are seeing, they must be wrong. Maybe they are victims of hoaxes, or perhaps they mistake known animals for something else. Maybe they are hallucinating, or so scared for some other reason that their mind is playing tricks on them. Perhaps they are lying. To me, this is the toughest part of the phenomenon to debunk. Certainly some sightings are hoaxes or lies, some are mistaken identity and some are tricks of the mind. But to say all of them can be written off as such seems almost as unlikely as the existence of Bigfoot. So which makes more sense: Bigfoot really existing, or the thousands of people who claim to have seen him have gone screwy? Are they all wrong, confused, or deceitful? Is Bigfoot Real or Not? I know if I saw Bigfoot I probably wouldn't tell anyone. Not because I'd be afraid of ridicule, but because it would infuriate me to try to explain myself to people who would just assume I was stupid or lying. I'd keep the encounter to myself. Is Bigfoot a fake? I have no idea. I like to think there is a real creature out there accounting for the sightings, the photos, the footprints, and the howls in the night. I like to think there are still things about this world we don't know. Truthfully, my attempt to debunk only resulted in more theories and questions floating around in my mind. I know it isn't logical that a large, human-like creature would escape detection for so long, and avoid capture or at least clear documentation. But I prefer to be on the side of hope rather than exclusion. What about you? Do you feel more comfortable dismissing Bigfoot as fake from a logical standpoint? Or, would you rather live in a world where it's possible a creature like Bigfoot could be real?

All over the United States, cattle are being brutally mutilated and nobody seems to know who is doing it. Hearts, udders, teets, ears, tongues and reproductive organs are being removed, and in most of these cases the cuts are made with surgical precision and no trace of blood is left behind at the scene. Sometimes the mutilated cattle are left in the mud or in deep snow, but there are no footprints or any other signs that anyone had ever been there. This phenomenon has been going on for many years, especially in the western half of the U.S., and yet authorities have no leads and absolutely no explanation for why this is happening. Could it be possible that there is not a natural explanation for this unexplained mystery? That is what one rancher out in Missouri thinks. She has had several cattle mutilated over the past few years, and the latest incident that happened on her ranch got so much national attention that it even made the Drudge Report. The mutilation of her cows fits the same pattern that we have seen all over America, and she is convinced that it could be the work of aliens. The following is how the CBS affiliate in St. Louis described this case… Who would cut the tongues and take the reproductive organs from several cows? That’s the mystery police in a small town 90 miles away from Kansas City are dealing with. Robert Hills, Henry County Sheriff’s Chief Deputy, says the first cow was discovered in December of 2011, the second and third this summer. All were female cows and were owned by rancher Lyn Mitchell. Why would someone do something like this? The kinds of mutilations that were done to her cattle are absolutely disgusting… The next two discovered on July 9th and 19th of this year had their tongues removed along with their udders, anus, reproductive organs, and ears. A veterinarian wasn’t called to examine the first two cows. But one did examine the third one. Mitchell said the veterinarian told her the cuts to the cow were precise and surgical. Also what seems to be the common denominator of all these incidents is the lack of blood and other bodily fluids surrounding the area and inside the animal. Posted below is a video of Lyn Mitchell describing what happened to her cattle. Nobody should ever have to go through something like this… Unfortunately, this has been happening all over the United States. The first reported case of this phenomenon happened back in 1967, and most of the reported cases have been in the western half of the country. The following is from the Wikipedia article on this phenomenon… Cattle mutilation (also known as bovine excision) is the killing and mutilation of cattle under apparently unusual or anomalous circumstances. Sheep and horses have allegedly been mutilated under similar circumstances. A hallmark of these incidents is the surgical nature of the mutilation, and unexplained phenomena such as the complete draining of the animal’s blood, loss of internal organs with no obvious point of entry, and surgically precise removal of the reproductive organs and anal coring. Another reported event is that the animal is found dumped in an area where there are no marks or tracks leading to or from the carcass, even when it is found in soft ground or mud. The surgical-type wounds tend to be cauterized by an intense heat and made by very sharp/precise instruments, with no bleeding evident. Often flesh will be removed to the bone in an exact manner, consistent across cases, such as removal of flesh from around the jaw exposing the mandible. Since the time that reports of purported animal mutilations began, the causes have been attributed variously to natural decomposition, normal predators, cryptid predators (like the Chupacabra), extraterrestrials, secretive governmental or military agencies, and cults. Many skeptics have attempted to blame predators for this phenomenon, but if you ask the ranchers that have been victimized, they will clearly tell you that there is no way that predators could have done this. For example, the following is from a story about another case that occurred out in Colorado a few years ago… Manuel Sanchez tucks his leathery hands into well-worn pockets and nods toward a cedar tree where, last month, he found his fourth mysteriously slaughtered calf in as many weeks. “I have no idea what could do this. I wish I did,” he says. Four calves, all killed overnight. Their innards gone. Tongues sliced out. Udders carefully removed. Facial skin sliced and gone. Eyes cored away. Not a single track surrounding the carcasses, which were found in pastures locked behind two gates and a mile from any road. Not a drop of blood on the ground or even on the remaining skin. So if predators are not responsible, then who is? Well, many believe that there is a supernatural explanation. In particular, many believe that cattle mutilation is the work of alien entities. On his blog, paranormal researcher LA Marzulli explained the conclusion that he has come to after his many years of research… In one instance that UFO Hunters reported, the carcass of a mutilated cow was found in six inches of new snow, and there were no footprints around it. It appeared as if it had dropped from the sky. Cattle Mutilations, in my opinion, are but another facet of the UFO phenomena. Are these bovine body parts used in the genetic engineering of alien/human hybrids that Dr. Jacobs and others tell us is happening? Does this mirror what happened long ago when the fallen angels did much the same thing, as described in Genesis 6? Are we once again living in times that are similar to the Days of Noah? In my opinion, the answer is yes. We are looking at the manifested works of fallen angels. Their actions are nefarious and pernicious. How can any one who examines a cattle mutilation, say that those responsible are somehow benevolent? In order to believe that you have to check your brain at the door. Yet we see in some circles of Ufology, that this is precisely the case. The disclosure crowd wants us to embrace the idea that E.T., is benevolent. First of all, this is not E.T. It is the fallen ones, the dark forces of spiritual wickedness that is manifesting, in what I believe are the last days. Think about this, why take a cow or steer, then mutilate it in the most horrific way and then leave it in plain sight? As I stated before, it is deliberate. It causes fear, and fear is the currency of the Luciferians, or satanic beings that are promulgating this in the first place. It is time to realize that this phenomena is not something from the lunatic fringe, nor is it a one time incident. It is real, and burgeoning and not going away! The farmer who was interviewed by UFO hunters had lost 27 cows since 1992, to the mutilation phenomena. He was unnerved and plainly at his wits end. He is getting out of the business and who could blame him, as his life has intersected with High Strangeness. He is dealing with spiritual wickedness, in high places. Rulers and principalities that are fallen, satanic, beings who hate mankind. The enemy is real and cattle mutilations are an example of his calling card. So what do you think? Who do you believe is responsible for doing these things? Please feel free to share your opinion by posting a comment below…

From New Guinea, the Kaiaimunu is a lesser known cryptid. While sightings were numerous by natives to the region, there are (relatively) few sightings by modern man. Appearance & DescriptionEdit The Kaiaimunu is extremely tall with two legs, and arms with giant claws. This description is very similar to the dinosaur Therizinosaurus (see image above). Aside from the omnipresent hoax idea, the Kaiaimunu is thought to be a living Therizinosaurus.

Monday, May 13, 2013 Review: Sweet Poison Wine (InCryptid #0.5) by Seanan McGuire. Sweet Poison Wine by Seanan McGuire My rating: 5 of 5 stars This is another InCryptid prequel tale, the fifth in Frances (Brown) and Jonathan Healy's interesting life together. As with three of the previous stories, this is available for download free on the the author's website. In this installment, Fran and Jonathan are happily married, and spending their honeymoon in Chicago. Because this is a world steeped in cryptid worldbuilding, though, leaving Jonathan's hometown doesn't mean there are no cryptids. The mice only put in a short appearance, but they're there in spirit. Jonathan and Fran's hotel is run by lesser gorgons, and they rescue a man from hungry freshwater sea hags. They're drawn into moonshine and liquor smuggling circles, and, as with all good trials, grow closer and learn things about one another. As with previous installments, I felt like I was missing out on something, not having read "Flower of Arizona" in Westward Weird, which I plan to remedy as soon as my TBR pile will let me. But the entire story is there, and this is the most dynamic and interesting of the installments. It had the most opportunities for banter, and I felt like this best highlighted the relationship between the newlywed Healys. One needn't have read the previous InCryptid books for this to make sense. It may save you the heartbreak, actually, of knowing their eventual fate. These stories are a lovely way to remember these characters. Seanan McGuire has written on her blog that she'll write more InCryptid short stories, which is delightful news. I so enjoy these glimpses into the Price/Healy family past. View all my reviews

We got more mountains to climb people! Found this album on youtube and holy crap! Such beautiful, much wow! Dzö-nga started off as a solo project and draw inspiration from Tibetan myths and legends centered on the Himalayan mountains, where the name also comes from as Dzö-nga is the name of a cryptid or demon that is said to haunt the mountain Kangchenjunga. Since the formation and debut album Five Treasures of Snow (which Kangchenjunga can translate into) in 2016 the one-man band has added female vocalist in Grushenka Ødegård which adds so much to the sound and atmosphere. In all honesty I wasn’t much of a fan of the debut, the lack of drums really put me off and it seemed to lack a lot of elements I enjoy in this kind of music. This has all changed with the sophomore album though! The music seems closer to nature with the melodies and female vocals, while Cryvas growling and instrumental play sets the tone and almost creates a demon versus elven character kind of setting, just as expected from the album. Adding more instruments since Five Treasures of Snow (like drums) also makes this album feel a lot more complete than the debut ever did. I wouldn’t mind some Tibetan instruments thrown into the mix to add even more connections to the folklore Dzö-nga sings about. Just like with most atmospheric black metal The Sachem’s Tales is meant to be experienced in its entirety without any stops. The build-ups on the songs that leads to different sections is superb and the vocals are a great match, making it stick out from most of the atmospheric black metal I listen to instead of the rather bland debut. It could say this is something along the lines of Myrkur meets Summoning musically. Which you can tell is sweet melodies and an atmospheric tone to it. I am impressed with how much Dzö-nga has improved in just a year. It’s insane really and hats off to find a direction with the music that works so much better in my opinion. This is beautiful atmospheric black metal with a lot of variation and flow that you will want to experience again and again. Now I want to know Cryvas will be up to with the next release! Label: Avantgarde Music For fans of: Summoning and Saor Favorite song: Against the Northern Wind

The concept of black helicopters became popular in the United States militia movement, and in associated political circles, in the 1990s as an alleged symbol and warning sign of a conspiratorial totalitarian military takeover of part or all of the United States. Rumors would circulate that, for instance, the United Nations patrolled the US with black helicopters, or that federal agents used black helicopters to enforce wildlife laws. The concept springs from the basic truth that many government agencies and corporations do use helicopters, and that some of these helicopters are dark-colored or black. For instance, dark-colored military helicopters were deployed in the standoff at Ruby Ridge. The phrase "black helicopters" is also sometimes used figuratively to ridicule conspiracy theories in general (see below). In the United Kingdom, a similar phenomenon known as "phantom helicopters" has been reported since the mid 1970s. This concept relates phantom helicopters to UFOs and alien invasion rather than to martial law. The issue was first popularized in the early 1990s by Mark Koernke (also known as Mark from Michigan) in appearances on Tom Valentine's radio show and in public speeches which were widely circulated on videocassette, and shortly thereafter by Linda Thompson in her film America Under Siege. In Alex Jones' film Police State 2000 unmarked black helicopters are shown flying low in surprise urban warfare training missions with Delta Force operators and foreign troops. Two books on the subject: Black Helicopters Over America: Strikeforce for the New World Order (1995), and Black Helicopters II : The End Game Strategy (1998), are from the now-defunct Illuminet Press and were written by Jim Keith. The greatest media attention to black helicopters was most probably paid in February 1995, when first-term Republican northern Idaho Representative Helen Chenoweth charged that armed federal agents were landing black helicopters on Idaho ranchers' property to enforce the Endangered Species Act. "I have never seen them," Chenoweth said in an interview in The New York Times. "But enough people in my district have become concerned that I can't just ignore it. We do have some proof." Chenoweth made the charges at a press conference without ever consulting with the Department of the Interior. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, which enforces the act, says that they do not own any helicopters nor have ever used any in Idaho. The only green and black military helicopters known to be used in Idaho are used by the National Guard. Black helicopters without FAA-required running lights are regularly used by the drug interdiction office of the DEA. In addition, most U.S. Army helicopters (such as the Black Hawk) are finished in a very dark chocolate or olive matte paint. Black helicopters have also been reported in the areas where cattle mutilation has been reported. The black helicopters theory resonates well with the belief held by some in the militia movement that troops from the United Nations might invade the United States. Tuesday, September 30, 2008 Monday, September 29, 2008 Sunday, September 28, 2008 The Stig is the name given to the anonymous racing driver on the BBC motoring show Top Gear. In the show he is cast as a mysterious "tame racing driver" whose identity is unknown, and who never speaks or removes his helmet on camera. Nonetheless he is fully credited as a presenter, albeit as "The Stig", alongside Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May. The Stig's primary functions on the show are to post lap times in various cars around the Top Gear Test Track in Dunsfold Park, and to train each week's guest in setting a lap time in the Star in a Reasonably-Priced Car feature on the show. In addition the Stig carries out other driving duties when the need arises. Another source of entertainment for the presenters is the music The Stig listens to whilst doing Power Laps around the Top Gear track. Often a specific genre will be chosen for one or more series. These have included power ballads, one-hit wonders, easy listening, country and western, prog rock, baroque, advertising jingles, foreign language tapes, romantic novels, salesman techniques, the speeches of Margaret Thatcher, and self-help tapes. The hosts of the show will often introduce footage of The Stig by offering humorous speculations as to his identity, such as "Some say that his voice can only be heard by cats, and that he is banned from the city of Chichester. All we know is... he's called The Stig." The introductions often include references to topical news stories. Previously, Stig's name would be used in formal introductions, such as "His Holiness, The Stig! Jeremy: Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say he's wanted by the CIA, and that he sleeps upside down like a bat... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say that he appears on high value stamps in Sweden, and that he can catch fish with his tongue... we know him only, as the Stig. Jeremy: Some say he is illegal in 17 U.S. states, and he blinks this way [motioning his fingers in a horizontal fashion]... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say that his breath smells of magnesium, and that he's scared of bells... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say he naturally faces magnetic north, and that all of his legs are hydraulic... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say that he lives in a tree, and that his sweat can be used to clean precious metals... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say that his heart ticks like a watch, and that he's confused by stairs... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say that his voice can only be heard by cats, and that he has two sets of knees... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say that he's terrified of ducks, and that there's an airport in Russia named after him... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Richard: Some say his skin has the texture of a dolphin's, and that where ever you are in the world, if you tune your radio to 88.4, you can actually hear his thoughts... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish delight... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say that his politics are terrifying, and that he once punched a horse to the ground... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say that his tears are adhesive, and that if he caught fire, he'd burn for a thousand days... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Richard: Some say he can swim seven lengths under water, and he has webbed buttocks... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say that his heart is in upside down, and that his teeth glow in the dark... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say that his ears aren't exactly where you'd expect them to be, and that once, preposterously, he had an affair with John Prescott... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say he has a digital face, and that if he felt like it, he could fire Alan Sugar... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say that his genitals are on upside down, and that if he could be bothered, he could crack the Da Vinci Code in 43 seconds... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Richard: Some say his ears have a paisley lining, and he's been banned from the Chelsea Flower Show... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say that the outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nürburgring, and that if you give him a really important job to do, he'll skive off and play croquet... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say he invented Branston Pickle, and that if you insult his mother, he will head-butt you in the chest... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say that on really warm days, he sheds his skin like a snake, and that for some reason, he's allergic to the Dutch... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Richard: Some say that his first name really is "The," and that if he went on Celebrity Love Island, they'd all be pregnant including the camera men... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say he once threw a microwave oven at a tramp, and long before anyone else, he realized that Jade Goody was a racist pig-faced waste of blood and organs... [the audience applauds wildly and Jeremy pauses for a short moment]... [laughing] all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say that he once had a vicious knife fight with Anthea Turner, and that he is in no way implicated in the cash for honours scandal... all we know is, he's called Lord Stig! Jeremy: Some say that he's a CIA experiment gone wrong, and that he only eats cheese... all we know is, he's not the Stig, but he is the Stig's American cousin! Jeremy: Some say that if you lick his chest, it tastes exactly the same as piccalilli, and that at this week's Brit awards, he was arrested for goosing Russell Brand:... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and that his crash helmet is modelled on Britney Spears' head... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Richard: Some say he isn't machine washable, and all his potted plants are called Steve... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say that his scrotum has its own small gravity field, and that because our producer rigged a phone vote, he now has a new name. All we know is, he's called Cuddles. Jeremy: Some say that he's banned from the town of Chichester, and that in a recent late-night deal, he bought a slightly dented white Fiat Uno from the Duke of Edinburgh. All we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say that he gets terrible eczema on his helmet, and that if he'd been the video referee at the World Cup Rugby Final, he'd have seen 'of course it was a try you blind Australian half-wit'! All we know is, he's called The Stig. Jeremy: (on African Stig) Some say he's seen The Lion King 1780 times, and that his second best friend is a cape buffalo... all we know is, he's not the Stig, but he is the Stig's African cousin. Jeremy: Some say that to unlock him, you have to run your finger down his face, like this (runs his finger down the face of an audience member standing nearby), and that if he was getting divorced from Paul McCartney, he'd keep his stupid whiney mouth shut! All we know is, he's called The Stig. Jeremy: Some say that he thought Star Wars was a documentary, and that he recently pulled out of I'm A Celebrity because he is scared of trees... and Australia... and Koo Stark... and Ant... and Dec. All we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say that when he slows down brake lights come on in his buttocks, and that if he'd been the manager of the England football squad last week, he wouldn't have been a feckless ginger gum-chewing buffoon who ruined it for all of us. All we know is, he's called The Stig. Jeremy: Some say that he once lost a canoe on a beach in the north-east, and that he once did some time in a prison in Canterbury, because his teddy is called The Baby Jesus. All we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Some say that after making love, he bites the head off his partner. And that he's had to give up binge drinking now that it's gone to one pound eighteen to a litre. All we know is, he's called The Stig. Jeremy: Some say that each of his toenails are exactly the same as a woman's nipples, and that he thinks that "credit-crunch" is some kind of a breakfast cereal. All we know is, he's called The Stig. Jeremy: Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York. And that he has a full size tattoo of his face, on his face. All we know is, he's called The Stig! Jeremy: Some say that he is not allowed, by law, within 100 yards of Lorraine Kelly, and that he's never seen an episode of Top Gear, because he's a huge fan of Midsomer Murders! All we know is, he's called Bergerac! Richard: Some say it's impossible for him to wear socks, and he can open a beer bottle with his testes! All we know is, he's called The Stig. Oofty's real name, background, place of birth and death are in some dispute. Most of what is known of him comes from a book by Herbert Asbury, The Barbary Coast, An Informal History of the San Francisco Underworld, published in 1933. There is some information that suggests his true name may have been Joshua Marks (or Marx), that he may have been a deserter from the German Army or that he may have come from Tennessee. In any instance, it is known he came to San Francisco following the Gold Rush of 1849 to seek his fortune. Asbury says that he got the name "Oofty Goofty" from an appearance he had done at a Market Street sideshow, where he was billed as the Wild Man of Borneo. He was said to have been covered over most of his body by a mixture of tar and horsehair, put into a cage and fed raw meat by an attendant. When fed, he would let out a fierce cry of "Oofty goofty!" - hence his stage name. Oofty's career as a wild man came to an end after about a week when he took ill, unable to perspire because of the tar on his skin. Doctors at the city's Receiving Hospital tried for days to remove the tar, but could not do so, presumably because of the horsehair. The tar finally came off after Oofty was doused with tar solvent and left to lie on the hospital's roof. Afterward, Oofty attempted to gain success through the stage and theater. He got as far as playing Romeo opposite one "Big Bertha's" Juliet, but the play proved disastrous. Asbury said that Oofty discovered after being thrown out of a Barbary Coast saloon onto a hard cobblestone street that he felt no pain. Afterward, he would tour San Francisco, baseball bat in hand, and invite anyone who would listen to strike him with the bat for 50 cents. Asbury ends his account saying that boxer John L. Sullivan ended Oofty's bizarre career when he struck him across the back with a pool cue, fracturing two vertebrae. Asbury reports that Oofty walked with a limp the rest of his life and died a few years later. Friday, September 26, 2008 Prolefeed is a Newspeak term in the novel Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell. It was used to describe the deliberately useless literature, movies and music that were produced by Prolesec, a section of the Ministry of Truth, to keep the "proles" (i.e., proletariat) content and to prevent them from becoming too knowledgeable and rebelling against the ruling Party. A quote from the novel illustrates it:And the Ministry had not only to supply the multifarious needs of the party, but also to repeat the whole operation at a lower level for the benefit of the proletariat. There was a whole chain of separate departments dealing with proletarian literature, music, drama, and entertainment generally. Here were produced rubbishy newspapers containing almost nothing except sport, crime and astrology, sensational five-cent novelettes, films oozing with sex, and sentimental songs which were composed entirely by mechanical means on a special kind of kaleidoscope known as a versificator. There was even a whole sub-section — Pornosec, it was called in Newspeak — engaged in producing the lowest kind of pornography, which was sent out in sealed packets and which no Party member, other than those who worked on it, was permitted to look at. The Wolpertinger (Crisensus bavaricus) (also called "Wolperdinger", "Poontinger" or "Woiperdinger") is a fictional animal said to inhabit the alpine forests of Bavaria in Germany. It has body parts of various animals — generally wings, antlers, and fangs, all attached to the body of a small mammal. The most widespread description is that of a horned rabbit or a horned squirrel. It is similar to the Rasselbock of the Thuringian Forest, the Elwedritsche of the Palatinate region, which is described as a chicken-like creature with antlers, and to the American invention of the jackalope, as well as to the Swedish Skvader. The Wolpertinger is not a typical cryptid, as local people probably never believed in its existence. Rather, it is some kind of traditional joke, as is evident from the many stuffed Wolpertingers displayed in village inns along with real hunting trophies, which have been fabricated deliberately in order to make fun of gullible foreigners who may want to go hunting for this remarkable animal.Like the jackalope, the Wolpertinger is thought to have been inspired by sightings of wild rabbits infected with the Shope papilloma virus, which causes the growth of antler-like tumors in various places on the rabbit's head and body. Thursday, September 25, 2008 The Grinning Man is the name given to one or more mysterious figures that has become associated with various reports of paranormal activity. The Grinning Man is sometimes described as being an extraterrestrial, MIB or a hominid cryptid and was investigated by notable paranormal author John A. Keel and ufologist James Moseley. Arguably the best known Grinning Man was Indrid Cold, who appears during the Mothman sightings. Reports of Grinning Men often occur during periods of increased UFO reporting. Well-known author, paranormal investigator, and journalist John A. Keel visited the boys in Elizabeth, New Jersey, three days after the incident. Along with Keel came UFO lecturer James Moseley and actor Chuck McCann. Munov and Yanchitis were interviewed by Keel separately in the home of Mr. George Smythe and both boys told the exact same story. "The man was over six feet tall, they agreed, and was dressed in a sparkling silver coverall costume that shimmered and seemed to reflect the street lights. There was a wide black belt around his waist." The boys also said "He had a very dark complexion, and little round eyes...real beady...set far apart." The most frightening and bizarre aspect of the encounter is the fact that "They could not remember seeing any hair, ears, or nose on this figure." Perhaps the most famous sighting of a Grinning Man is reported to have taken place on October 11, 1966 in Elizabeth, New Jersey. The entity was sighted by two boys, James Yanchitis and Marvin Munoz, as they were walking home along Fourth Street and New Jersey Street when they reached a corner parallel to the New Jersey Turnpike. The turnpike is elevated and there is an extremely steep incline going down from the busy street above which leads to Fourth Street. A very large, high wire fence runs along the edge of the street, making it incredibly difficult to near impossible for anyone to want to climb up the incline to the turnpike above. There are bright street lights in that area, which gave the boys a good glimpse of what they called "the strangest guy we've ever seen." Yanchitis noticed the strange entity first. "He was standing behind that fence", he stated later to investigators. "I don't know how he got there. He was the biggest man I ever saw." "Jimmy nudged me", Marvin Munoz reported to police, "and said, Who's that guy standing behind you?' I looked around and there he was... behind that fence. Just standing there. He pivoted around and looked right at us... then he grinned a big old grin." The figure reported by witnesses became associated with extraterrestrials because it was sighted shortly after a UFO report. The report states that a "blazing white light as big as a car" almost hit the 550-foot tall television tower outside of Pompton Lakes, New Jersey. A policeman and his wife witnessed the object move in a slow manner north, and it then disappeared beyond the nearby hills. On the other side of the hills, Sergeant Benjamin Thompson and Patrolman Edward Wester, of the Wanaque Reservoir Police, also witnessed the same light at around 9:45 p.m. as it flew low over the reservoir. "The light was brilliantly white" officer Thompson stated, "It lit up the whole area for about three hundred yards. In fact, it blinded me when I got out of the patrol car to look at it, and I couldn't see for about twenty minutes afterwards." Several Grinning Man reports were made in 1966, during the same period as the Point Pleasant, West Virginia Mothman sightings. These reports were recorded by John A. Keel in chapters 5 and 10 of his book The Mothman Prophecies. - The first encounter happened on November 2, 1966, a man named Woodrow Derenberger was driving his panel truck after a hard day of work. As he drove up a hill outside of Parkersburg on Interstate 77, he heard a sudden crash. A vehicle was speeding behind him, and it suddenly cut in front of him and slowed down. Derenberger looked in amazement as the vehicle that passed him looked like "an old fashioned kerosene lamp chimney, flaring at both ends, narrowing down to a small neck and then enlarging in a great bulge in the center." The "thing" blocked the road, and a door slid open on the side of the it. Then a man stepped out, the man was around 6 feet tall, with long dark hair combed straight back. His skin was heavily tanned. He wore an outfit that was made out of some sort of glistening green material. He was grinning broadly. The man spoke to Derenberger telepathically and said his name was "Cold", and went off asking him strange questions, and the two talked for a few minutes. Then the strange entity said that he would visit Derenberger again, and he got back in the craft, and left. - Another case described in chapter 10 in the Mothman Prophecies book, happened in the home of the Lillys, a family living in a rural section of Point Pleasant. The Lillys were witnessing strange lights in the sky right above their home at least every night, as well as poltergeist-like manifestations inside of their home. Mrs. Lilly said "We've seen all kinds of strange things...blue lights, green ones, red ones, things that change color. Some have been so low that we thought we could see diamond-shaped windows in them. And none of them make any noise at all." Automobiles near the Lilly home would stall unexplainably, and kitchen cabinets and doors inside the Lilly home would slam inexplicably in the middle of the night while everyone was asleep. Their living room door, which was chained and snaplocked at night, was sitting there wide open the next morning as if someone had opened it somehow from the outside. They would hear loud metallic sounds, "like a pan falling", and Mrs. Lilly said she hear a sound like "A baby crying" throughout the inside of the home. It seemed to come from only a few feet away from her in the house, but there were no babies in the home and she never saw anything. (Keep in mind that the Mothman was known to utter a cry that sounded similar to a baby crying or woman screaming.) John A. Keel, who personally investigated and questioned the Lilly family, asked them "Did you ever dream that there was a stranger in the house in the middle of the night?" Linda Lilly, the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Lilly then confessed her story. She described how she woke up one night and saw a very large figure towering over her bed. "It was a man, a big man. Very broad. I couldn't see his face very well, but I could see that he was grinning at me." Mrs. Lilly said that she heard a terrible scream that night, and Linda ran into her room screaming "There is a man in my room! There is!" She refused to sleep alone ever since the encounter. Wednesday, September 24, 2008 The Mechanical Monsters is the second of the seventeen animated Technicolor short films based upon the DC Comics character Superman. Produced by Fleischer Studios, the story features Superman battling a mad scientist with a small army of robots at his command. It was originally released by Paramount Pictures on November 21, 1941. and don't forget The Bulleteers ... and the other wonderful cartoons in the series .... Sunday, September 21, 2008 Daicon IV was a sci-fi convention held in 1983, in Osaka, Japan; the 22nd Nihon SF Taikai. Daicon is a portmanteau of "dai", an alternate reading of the first kanji in the name of the city in which it is held (which means "big/great"), and the first syllable of the English word "convention". However, it is also a deliberate pun, since its name suggests the word daikon, the east Asian giant radish. "Daicon", like the names of most Japanese sci-fi conventions, is always written in the Latin alphabet. The opening to Daicon IV, made by Gainax (which at the time was called Daicon Film), is a 4:23 cel animated video. The opening to the sci-fi convention was anime. As many kinds of "geek" culture appeal to the typical Otaku, the video has many pop culture references. The animation features the now grown up Daicon III girl fighting a wide selection of creatures from all sorts of science fiction and fantasy movies and novels, including Darth Vader, Eleking from Ultra Seven, the Toho logo, an alien, a Macross VF-1 Valkyrie, a Pern dragon, Aslan, a Klingon battle cruiser, Spider-Man, Taiyou Sentai Sun Vulcan, and a pan across a vast array of hundreds of other characters) as she surfs through the sky on the sword Stormbringer. This video, although short, clearly marked the otaku subculture for its state-of-the-art animation for 1983. There soon were merchandise and figures of the nameless "Daicon IV bunny-eared girl" who is seen surfing around on a flying sword, Stormbringer, in the video. In Gainax's 1992 OVA Otaku no Video, a character shows another what are anime and animation techniques, and shows a part of the Daicon IV opening. Additionally, Otaku no Video's very mascot, Misty May, is clearly a reference to the Daicon IV girl. Another of Gainax's OVAs, FLCL (2000-2001), shows Haruko in episode 5 (Brittle Bullet) dressed in the same bunny suit, flying over a guitar to attack a giant monster. During her attack, she screams "Daicon V!". The Japanese TV series Densha Otoko (2005) features an opening that is also a clear reference, featuring a girl with bunny ears surfing around on a train with the same background tune, Electric Light Orchestra's "Twilight". Friday, September 19, 2008 Joey Skaggs (born 1945) is a U.S. media prankster who has organized numerous successful hoaxes and other presentations. He is considered one of the originators of the phenomenon known as culture jamming. Skaggs used Kim Yung Soo, Giuseppe Scaggioli, Dr. Joseph Gergor, the Rev. Anthony Joseph, and Mr. Bonuso as aliases. In 1968, Skaggs noticed that middle-class suburbanites were going on tours of the East Village to observe hippies. Skaggs subsequently organized a sightseeing tour for hippies to observe the suburbs of Queens. On Christmas Day, he created the Vietnamese Christmas Nativity Burning to protest against the Vietnam War. In 1969, Skaggs tied a 50-foot bra to the front of the U.S. Treasury building on Wall Street, organized a Hells Angels' wedding procession through the Lower East Side, and made grotesque Statues of Liberty on the 4th of July, again to protest against the Vietnam War. In 1971, Skaggs bought Earlville Opera House. In the same year, he organized what he called a Fame Exchange during the New York Avant Garde Festival, where he hired a group of admirers to follow him around instead of John Lennon and Yoko Ono. It was a forerunner for his next pranks: - Cathouse for Dogs (1976): Skaggs published an ad for a dog brothel in The Village Voice and hired actors to present their dogs for the benefit of an ABC news crew. The prank annoyed the ASPCA and the Bureau of Animal Affairs until Skaggs revealed the truth after a subpoena. ABC did not retract the story (the WABC TV producer insisted that Skaggs had said it was a hoax to avoid prosecution), possibly because the piece had been nominated for an Emmy Award. It was subsequently disqualified. - Celebrity Sperm Bank (1976): Skaggs organized a sperm bank auction in New York; the sperm bank was then robbed and semen was supposedly taken as hostage. - Wall Street Shoeshine (1979): Skaggs played Joseph Bucks, a shoeshine man who had become rich on Wall Street and was working his last day—at $5 a shine. - Metamorphosis (1981): Skaggs played Dr. Gregor, inventor of the Cockroach Vitamin Pill, which was supposed to be a cure-all drug. It was a nod to Franz Kafka's story "The Metamorphosis." - Gypsies Against Stereotypical Propaganda (1982): Gypsy King JoJo (played by Skaggs) led a protest demanding that the Gypsy moth's name be changed because it was demeaning to his people. - Windsurfing from Hawaii to California (1983): Windsurfer J.J. Skaggs attempted the first crossing of the Pacific Ocean on a sailboard. - Fish Condos (1983): Skaggs created an aquarium depicting rooms with furniture. It was meant to satirize gentrification, but the aquariums sold very well. - Bad Guys Talent Management Agency (1984): In an attempt to get an acting job for a friend, Verne Williams, Skaggs founded a fictitious management agency for "bad-guy" actors. Eventually even real studios and wannabe actors contacted him. - WALK RIGHT! (1984): Skaggs put together a fictitious militant group that wanted to enforce proper street walking etiquette and make its rules into law. - The Fat Squad (1986): Skaggs played Joe Bones, the founder of a disciplinarian diet program where musclemen watched the customers 24 hours a day to make sure they stuck to their diets, at a cost of $300 a day. - 1986 was also the first year of the Annual April Fools' Day Parade; it existed only as press release. - Save the Geoduck Campaign (1987): Skaggs played Dr. Richard J. Long who sought to save geoduck mollusks from extinction because they had become a popular aphrodisiac among the Japanese. - Comacocoon (1990): As Dr. Joseph Schlafer, Skaggs offered a literal dream vacation—customers were to sleep in a cocoon, enjoying programmed dreams about the vacation. The Department of Consumer Affairs was alerted. - Hair Today, Ltd. (1990): Joseph Chenango—another Skaggs character—marketed a new kind of hair implant: whole scalps from the dead. The prank began as an ad in the Village Voice soliciting scalp donors. - Geraldo Hoax (1991): Skaggs appeared on Geraldo Rivera's TV talk show and told a story about New York artists living in water towers—which he had not done. - Brooklyn Bridge Lottery (1992): Skaggs released a "leak" informing the public of a lottery where the first prize would be renaming rights to the Brooklyn Bridge. - Portofess (1992): Skaggs played Father Anthony Joseph, appearing with a portable confession booth at the Democratic National Convention. - Sex Tapes Saved Marriage (1993): Skaggs sent two actors to Faith Daniels' show to claim that sex tapes had saved their marriage. - SEXONIX (1993): Skaggs created a hoax about a sex machine, claiming that the prototype had been seized by Customs at the Canadian border on its way from the United States. He used his own name. Uproar ensued in various bulletin boards. - The Psychic Attorney (1994): On April 1, Skaggs appeared as Madnadanda, a combined New Age telephone psychic and lawyer. His voice mail box was flooded with calls. - Dog Meat Soup (1994): Skaggs portrayed Kim Yung Soo, a butcher who wanted to purchase dogs for food, to expose cultural intolerance and the media's tendency to overreact. - Baba Wa Simba (1995): Skaggs appeared in London as Baba Wa Simba, a therapist who recommended that participants roar and behave like lions (reminiscent of primal scream therapy). - The Solomon Project (1995): Joseph Bonuso (Skaggs) claimed to have created a computer program that would work as both judge and jury and announce sentences. It pronounced O.J. Simpson guilty. - STOP BioPEEP (1998): Skaggs appeared as Dr. Joseph Howard, supposed employee of an Australian company, and revealed surreptitious genetic engineering to create addictive poultry. - Doody Rudy (1999): Skaggs created a large satirical portrait of New York mayor Rudy Giuliani and let people throw fake elephant dung at it, in response to Giuliani's criticism of an artwork by Chris Ofili that incorporated real elephant dung. - The Final Curtain (2000): Skaggs' creation was a combined funeral company, virtual graveyard and theme park. It was meant to satirize showmanship in places like Forest Lawn cemeteries. Some investors were actually interested. Final Curtain's website is still functioning. - Art Attack (2000): Espai D'Art Contemporani (EACC) in Castellon, Spain asked Skaggs to organize a presentation; in response, Skaggs created a computer game where people could shoot passersby in the outside corridor going through the building. According to his web site, Skaggs does not care for "vicious" pranks such as letters containing fake anthrax; he also states that he is not doing anything illegal. He hires actors to play his customers, refusing to really scam anyone except the media. Often the prank is nothing more than a press release with a phone number; in these press releases, Skaggs leaves hints or details that easily could be checked for accuracy. Eventually, he reveals the hoax to make his point. On a couple of occasions, Skaggs sent a substitute to interviews with programs such as Entertainment Tonight and To Tell the Truth. Producers did not notice. Also, photographs in the National Enquirer and Playback magazine have depicted the wrong man. Many of Skaggs's pranks are originally reported as true in various news media. Sometimes the stories are retracted. When not pranking the media, Skaggs earns his living by painting, making sculptures and lecturing. Thursday, September 18, 2008 The Yes Men are a group of culture jamming activists who practice what they call "identity correction" by pretending to be powerful people and spokespersons for prominent organizations. They create and maintain fake websites similar to ones they want to spoof, and then they accept invitations received on their websites to appear at conferences, symposia, and TV shows. Their newfound, self-proclaimed authority to express the idea that corporations and governmental organizations often act in dehumanizing ways toward the public has met both positively and negatively with political overtones. Elaborate props are sometimes part of the ruse, as shown in their 2003 DVD release The Yes Men. Their method is often satire: posing as corporate or government spokespeople, they might make shocking denigrating comments about workers and consumers, then point out what appears to be a lack of shock or anger in the response to their prank, with no one realizing the reactionary rhetoric was only a joke. Sometimes, the Yes Men's phony spokesperson makes announcements that represent dream scenarios for the anti-globalization movement or opponents of corporate crime. The result is false news reports of the demise of the WTO, or Dow paying for a Union Carbide cleanup. The Yes Men have posed as spokespeople for The World Trade Organization, McDonald's, Dow Chemical, and the United States Department of Housing and Urban Development. The two leading members of The Yes Men are known by a number of aliases, most recently, and in film, Andy Bichlbaum and Mike Bonanno. Their real names are Jacques Servin and Igor Vamos, respectively. Servin is an author of experimental fiction, and was known for being the man who inserted images of men kissing in the computer game SimCopter. Vamos is an assistant professor of media arts at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, New York. They are assisted by numerous people across the globe. Wednesday, September 17, 2008 If you love big airplanes ... and I mean BIG airplanes .. then head over to Dark Roasted Blend for my new piece on huge flying machines: For a few thousand years the biggest things in the skies were only in our imaginations, flying figments of myth and fable: the Roc from Sinbad’s tales, the Garuda bird from the Mahabharata, the Thunderbird from North America, the Brazilian Blue Crow, and other high-flying nightmares or soaring benevolent gods and spirits. But then a few very clever, and rather persistent, folks got tired of only dreaming. With great inventiveness, they wanted to see what was actually above the clouds. They sought to create something as wondrously big, or nightmarishly immense, as those birds of myth and legend. Talking about big planes is very much like talking about who should get the credit for man’s first flight –- it all depends on who you talk to. As the brilliant James Burke has pointed out, inventors rarely create something from nothing –- their successes are often the result of combining the partial successes, or learning from the downright failures, of other inventors. In some cases, it's just pure dumb luck. The Wright Brothers are often given most of the recognition for the first powered flight but Gustave Whitehead, Alexander Feodorovich Mozhaiski, Clement Ader, and many others should get a share of the fame, too. Whoever is responsible, it wasn’t long before the skies were full of sputtering, creaking, and – for the most part – very unreliable aeronautical devices. It took the first world war to change aircraft from a killing and maiming hobby for the rich to a killing and maiming war machine. War helped advance the science of flight and necessitated bigger planes. The Short 184 is often cited as one of the first true bombers, a huge step up simply flinging grenades from the cockpit. Created by the legendary Short Brothers, the 184 was big enough –- a world full of fabric and string mayflies -– to carry a torpedo, which must have been a terrifying sight to battleships that, until then, had ruled the sea. Another monster plane of that time was Igor Sikorsky's Ilya Murometz, a huge improvement over his legendary Russky Vitaz, the first four engine aircraft. But the Ilya Murometz didn't begin as a beast of the skies. Originally designed as a luxurious passenger liner featuring electric lighting, heat, a bathroom, and even a glass floor, the bomber must have been amusing as well as terrifying to its wealthy passengers. In the years between wars, airplanes kept getting bigger. Take the elegant Handley Page HP42, for instance: a four-engined beauty with an impressive track record of no crashes while being used as an airliner -- which gives you an idea of how safe it was to fly back then. One of the larger and more beautiful aircraft in the next few decades was the awesome 1936 Boeing Stratoliner. Unfairly called a ‘whale’ because of its chubbiness, the plane was not only huge but also state of the art; today we enjoy flying in pressurized comfort because of technology premiered in the silver flying fish of the Stratoliner. Art and elegance may have been one of the early fatalities in the second world war, but striving to have the biggest (anything) certainly wasn’t. To call the Messerschmitt Me 321 big is like calling 1939 to 1945 unpleasant. Created originally as a guilder, the Gigant could haul an insanely large amount of cargo. And an insane bunch of soldiers: 130 plus hardware ... 23 tons of hardware. Because the Gigant was so huge, getting the damned thing into the air was, at best, problematic. First it was towed up with a pair of Heinkel 111 bombers, which was alternatively unsuccessful or disastrous. Then they tried fusing two 111s together to make a Frankenstein’s monster of a machine –- almost as bestial as the Gigant itself. Finally the Luftwaffe stuck engines on the Me321, which made an ugly brute even uglier but at least it got off the ground. On the other side of the war was an eagle, a silvery steel bird of prey: the huge and beautiful B-29 Superfortress. Although getting the immense B-29 up to its ceiling of 40,000 feet was a struggle, once it got up there nothing could reach it or, at 350 mph, catch it. Even if something managed to come close to it, its formidable defenses could cut any threat to shreds. Featuring many impressive advancements, and some frustrating problems, the plane was kept on active duty long into the Korean war. With the advent of jet power, aircraft designers began to think really big. Think of your average doomsday film and you immediately picture the roaring ascent of smoke-blasting, eight-engined, B52 bombers. Like the B29, the B52 was an aeronautical powerhouse, a heavy-lifting behemoth. And like the B52, it was kept in service until … well, they are still being used today. Unlike the B29 and the B52, which don’t show their size easily, the C-5 galaxy would look insanely monstrous even on a postage stamp. To give you an idea of the galaxy’s size, its wingspan is not just longer than the Wright Brothers’ first flight but the beast can also haul 180,000 pounds (which is about 90 tons). It, too, is still with us today. The Aero Spacelines Super Guppy also has to be mentioned, which like the galaxy looks more like a prop from a Japanese monster movie than a real airplane. The Guppy is also high on the irony meter as it was mostly used to haul nearly-completed components -- of other airplanes. Arguably the biggest plane flying today, or ever, is Antonov An-225, a 6-engine Russian beast that’s not only longer than the first flight in history but could probably carry one, two, or three whole aircraft museums. Numbers don’t mean much but here is an impressive one: the 225 can carry 550,000 pounds, which is 275 tons. Yes, you can say WOW. The H-4 Hercules is the standard by which “huge aircraft” are measured –- as well as how “completely screwed up” is defined. Its one and only flight was in 1947, where it was airborne for a total of 70 feet. Originally planned as the ultimate military transport, it is more commonly known as its hated -- at least by its creator Howard Hughes -- moniker, the Spruce Goose. We used to have the Roc, the Garuda bird, the Thunderbird, Blue Crow, and other soaring myths. Now we have machines; airplanes so big they’re even greater than those ancient, and magnificent, dreams. Tuesday, September 16, 2008 Hiring people to applaud dramatic performances was common in classical times. For example, when the emperor Nero acted, he had his performance greeted by an encomium chanted by five thousand of his soldiers. This inspired the 16th-century French poet Jean Daurat to develop the modern claque. Buying a number of tickets for a performance of one of his plays, he gave them away in return for a promise of applause. In 1820 claques underwent serious systematization when an agency in Paris opened to manage and supply claqueurs. By 1830 the claque had become an institution. The manager of a theatre or opera house was able to send an order for any number of claqueurs. These were usually under a chef de claque (leader of applause), who judged where the efforts of the claqueurs were needed and to initiate the demonstration of approval. This could take several forms. There would be commissaires ("police officers") who learned the piece by heart and called the attention of their neighbors to its good points between the acts. Rieurs (laughers) laughed loudly at the jokes. Pleureurs (criers), generally women, feigned tears, by holding their handkerchiefs to their eyes. Chatouilleurs (ticklers) kept the audience in a good humor, while bisseurs (encore-ers) simply clapped and cried "Bis! Bis!" to request encores. The practice spread to Italy (famously at La Scala, Milan), Vienna, London (Covent Garden) and New York (the Metropolitan Opera). Claques were also used as a form of extortion, as singers were commonly contacted by the chef de claque before their debut and forced to pay a fee, in order not to get booed. Monday, September 15, 2008 Arzach is a comic book collection of four wordless short stories by artist/author Jean 'Moebius' Giraud, which were originally published in the French sci-fi/fantasy comics magazine Métal Hurlant. The stories follow Arzach, a silent warrior who rides a pterodactyl-like creature through a strange, desolate landscape. The imagery and situations in Arzach are often compared to dreams or the subconscious. These stories had an enormous impact on the French comics industry, and the Arzach character is still among Moebius' most famous creations. Moebius later revisited the character with a story called The Legend of Arzach. This later story contains dialogue, and it ties the Arzach stories into a previously unrelated Moebius story called The Detour. Sunday, September 14, 2008 "A good guess at what Robin Hood would be like if portrayed by Charlton Heston; he can never find enough crime to fight and secretly suspects that the police are hiding crimes from him because they don't trust him. He was once a hunter called Marty Feeb, who saved an elf from a crow, and the elf rewarded him with a magic sack of corn, which granted him strength, speed, and shiny teeth. He also has a brother called Hector Feeb, who he claims lives in a townhouse. He can be summoned by blowing into the Horn of Urgency, and his battle cry is "Into action!". Possibly a parody of comic character Green Arrow. His trademark phrase is "Darn, the luck, darn!". "The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean is a 1972 western film written by John Milius, directed by John Huston, and starring Paul Newman (at the height of his career, between Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and The Sting). It was loosely based on the real-life, self-appointed frontier judge (see below) Phantly Roy Bean (c. 1825 – March 16, 1903) was an eccentric U.S. saloon-keeper and Justice of the Peace who called himself "The Law West of the Pecos". According to legend, Judge Roy Bean held court in his saloon along the Rio Grande in a desolate stretch of the Chihuahuan Desert of west Texas. The story takes place towards the end of the 20th century and explores the idea that the human world secretly coexists with the demon world with a secret police force known as the Black Guard protecting the boundary. The existence of the "Black World" is known to very few people. For centuries, a pact between the two has been observed to maintain peace, and terms must be negotiated and renewed every few hundred years to continue relative harmony. This time around, there is a militant faction called The Radicals that will stop at nothing to prevent the signing of a new treaty. Two agents of the Black Guards are charged with insuring the success of the treaty: The human Taki Renzaburo is an electronics salesman by day, and a Black Guard agent when needed; his partner Makie, who masquerades as a model, is a beautiful and skilled woman from the Black World. Their mission is to protect Giuseppi Mayart, a two hundred year-old man possessed of fantastic spiritual power, whose presence at the peace treaty signing is critical. The Radicals wish to kill Mayart to upset the peace between both worlds. Attacks on Makie, Taki and Mayart begin even before the three meet, and the situation does not improve, despite taking shelter in a hotel that supposedly has strong spiritual barriers to keep people of the Black World away; on top of this, Mayart sneaks out after a skirmish at the hotel. Makie and Taki find him at a massage parlor in the grip of a Black World woman who has sapped his health, prompting a frantic trip to a spiritual hospital under Black Guard protection. Halfway there, Makie is taken prisoner to be punished for her "crimes" against the Black World, and Taki is forced to leave her behind, but as soon as he knows Mayart is safe in the hospital, he rushes to where his partner is being held, despite all warnings and the threat that he will be thrown out of the Black Guard. While Taki is successful in freeing Makie, they are captured by a spider-like woman Taki has encountered before; both are knocked unconscious, but they wake up alone in a church, and seek comfort in each other's bodies. One last attack by the Radicals comes and is partially deflected by a surprisingly healthy Mayart, who reveals he was protecting his bodyguards, not the other way around as they had been lead to believe. Mayart and Taki almost succeed in defeating the Radical threatening them, but the final blow comes from Makie, who suddenly displays an overwhelming power, a gift from her joining with Taki. Mayart explains the two of them are meant to be part of the new peace treaty. The movie ends with Taki reinstated in the Black Guard, uncertain about his feelings for Makie and what is expected of them, but feeling optimistic about the future he will help protect. Saturday, September 13, 2008 As the archetypal bumper-sticker proclaims: "Being Paranoid Doesn't Mean That They Aren't Out To Get You." In the world of the paranoiac, the world is nothing but a teetering rockslide: impending destruction always hovering just a moment away. Their world is one full of traps, deception, plots, conspiracies, and death where everyone is literally out to get you. Some have suggested that a daily tablespoon full of this viewpoint can actually be a survival trait: In our capricious and elaborate world a certain degree of suspicion and caution will allow us to live to be frightened another day. Others suggest that this view is nothing less than narcissism stretched to a penultimate degree — that we are so special, so unique, that the universe and it's all-present Men in Black (replete with Black Helicopter and Satellite Brain-Ray Beam gift set) have no choice but to squish us flat. But the real terror is lurking just beyond that. As anyone who has studied nature can attest, the world and all its creatures (great as well as small) really are out to get us. Some of their attacks are easy to defend. Into daily battle we go, armed to the teeth with antibiotics and the unshakable knowledge that: — If we cross against DON'T WALK we'll be turned into chunky salsa — Milk the consistency of raw cement is not good — Playing on the freeway is bad — Sticking our fingers into electrical sockets is definitely a once-in-a lifetime thrill With those bits of arcane law filling our grey matter, we are equipped to know how to survive to see tomorrow. Yet there are creatures on this globe that can snuff us out like a cheap candle in a stiff wind. I don't mean the cartoon ferocity of the lion, tiger, or bear that proclaim their dangerous potential with a growl, roar, or screech. No, the critters I’m talking about lurk in dark silence, ready to strike with either the barest of warnings or none at all, and with absolutely fatal venom. Some you've undoubtedly already heard about, and will prompt little more than a dismissive scoff. Yeah, big deal: rattlesnakes, cobras, black widows — either you can hear them coming, avoid going to India, or simply not stick your hands into dark places. "Ha!" is my response to your smug, assumed knowledge of nasty things. "Ha!" I offer up against your ignorance of the real terrors that are lurking out there, ready to strike. The truth is, rattlesnakes, cobras, and black widows are nothing but mere annoyances: fatal only to the truly stupid or very sick. Dangerous, sure, but usually deadly only to Darwin Award winners. But there are other, nasty little things out there that are as vicious and deadly as they are quiet and unassuming. Say, for instance, you happen to be happily walking through the low surf merrily picking up and discarding shells, looking for just the right one to decorate your desk back at the office. With no warning at all, however, you feel a sharp sting from one of those pretty shells, a sting that quickly flares into a crawling agony. With that quick sting, the cone snail's barbed spear has insidiously injected you with one of the most potent neurotoxins in existence. Nerves short-circuited by this infinitesimally small amount of juice, in seconds the agony of where the stinger struck has faded into a heavy numbness. A relief, perhaps, but then it spreads and moments later the paralysis has seized the entire limb. Then the breathing troubles start … and then, simply, your heart stops beating. Yes, there are anti venoms available, but, frankly, with something that can kill in less than four minutes you'd have to carry it in your back pocket to survive. It wasn't just a fondness for these pretty shells that lead the CIA to develop a weapon using this venom to dispatch enemies. We'll be back to the ocean in a moment, but for the next dangerous denizen we have to visit the steaming Amazon. Now I know what you're thinking, "Gee, what would I be doing out there in the jungle primeval?" To that I say that you're not paying attention to the lesson: it isn't so much that these things are where they are, but that they exist to begin with, and carry their lethality in such innocent packages. That frog over there, for instance, that tiny, brilliantly colored tree frog. Doesn't he look like some kind of Faberge ornament, there against that shocking vermilion leaf? Wouldn't such a natural jewel look just gorgeous in a terrarium back home? Pick him and you could be dead in a matter of minutes. One second frolicking in the undergrowth, the next spasming and foaming on the jungle floor. No stinger, no bite, and no venom: just the shimmering slime covering his brilliant body. The natives in these here parts capture these poison arrow frogs (carefully) and coat their blowgun darts with that slime — and knock full grown monkeys out of the trees with a single strike. Back in the windswept sea, sharks announce their presence with a steady da-dum, da-dum, da-dum of background music, rattlesnakes, well, they rattle, while lions, and tigers, and bears (oh, my) as I’ve said, roar and bellow. These dangers are loud, almost comical. They parade their danger. But as paranoiacs know, these are nothing but part of the grand deception — they make us believe that everything fatal comes with sirens of intent, or brilliant warning labels. The real monsters are more devious than that; they lurk on the other side of invisibility, never make a sound, and kill you faster than the sound of that first note in John William’s Jaws theme. Cone shells can be avoided, and brilliant frogs warn of their fatality, but there’s one last terror I’m eager to mention that doesn’t roar or display its danger at all. Let's take one final swim, shall we, this time off the coast of Australia? Incredible blue waters, shimmering sandy beaches, shrimps on the barbie … Skin divers rave about the Australian coast … those, that is, who never let their guard down for an instant. Paddling in the crystal sea, enjoying the cool waters, the warm sun, it's easy to miss this monster, especially as it's almost as clear as the ocean. Chironex fleckeri doesn't sound so terrifying, does it? Chironex fleckeri: a tiny jellyfish found off the coast of Australia and southeastern Asia. Only about sixteen inches long, this jelly's tentacles carry thousands of nematocysts, microscopic stingers activated not by ill-will but by a simple brush against shell, or skin. Make contact and they’ll fire, injecting anyone and anything with the most powerful neurotoxin known to man. Stories abound of swimmers leaping from the cool Australian seas, skin blistered and torn from thousands of these tiny stingers, the venom scalding their bodies and plunging them into agonizing shock. The sting of a chironex fleckeri — also called the box jellyfish or sea wasp — is described by the experts to be a most horrifying torment. Luckily it doesn't last long. Take that to heart dear, innocent reader, as you dog paddle through the ocean, walk on the beach, or trek through the forest, safe in your ignorance that the world doesn't hide terrifying, hideous deaths. The hideous agony of the box jellyfish’s sting doesn't last long. Not long at all. In fact, the burning pain is over in just about the time it will take you to read this last paragraph (and you don't have to be a phenomenally slow reader), not even enough time to reach shore and call for help. Maybe as the venom works itself into your system, causing your nervous system to collapse, you'll realize that paranoiacs are right: that there really are dangerous things out there, things that'll kill you by pure reflex, just by crossing their paths. Thirty seconds isn't a long time, not long at all. But sometimes life, and death, lessons can come in very short periods. M.Christian (www.mchristian.com) has written 300+ short stories, edited 20 anthologies, is the author of five collections and five novels.

Variations: Bachi-hebi, Gigi-hebi, Koro, Koro-hebi, Nozuchi, Tsuchi-korobi The Tsuchinoko (“child of the earth” or “mallet child”) is a snake native to Japan. Its primary characteristics are its unusual stocky appearance and its secretiveness. Sightings of tsuchinoko go at least as far back as 1807, in the Edo Period. A tsuchinoko is easily recognized by its fat, dorsoventrally flattened appearance, reminiscent of a beer bottle, mallet, or pestle (tsuchi). It is this feature that has earned it its name, as well as the alternate name of nozuchi (“field mallet”). It is known as bachi-hebi and gigi-hebi in Akita Prefecture, koro and koro-hebi in Fukui Prefecture, and tsuchi-korobi in Tottori Prefecture. While rare and hard to find, the tsuchinoko is believed to be venomous. It can get around by rolling, as observed by witnesses; when spotted, it laughs and vanishes in a flash of light, causing the onlookers to fall ill. When angered, a tsuchinoko will hiss, spit, and even jump at its pursuer before biting with its fangs. Recent years have greatly added to the tsuchinoko’s reputation, as reports of sightings have led to its promotion into a full-blown cryptid. The 2000 discovery of an alleged tsuchinoko skeleton in Yoshii, Okayama Prefecture, firmly cemented the snake’s existence in popular culture. The true identity of tsuchinoko sightings are possibly the venomous yamakagashi (Rhabdophis tigrinus) or the dangerously venomous mamushi (Gloydius blomhoffi). The latter has caused human fatalities, and therefore any potential tsuchinokos should be treated with respect and given a wide berth. Foster, M. D. (2009) Pandemonium and Parade: Japanese Monsters and the Culture of Yokai. University of California Press, Berkeley. Foster, M. D. (2015) The Book of Yokai. University of California Press, Berkeley. O’Shea, M. (2005) Venomous Snakes of the World. New Holland Publishers, London.

A pair of Red-shouldered Hawks trace a yin yang in the deep blue sky high above golden grassy hills on a searing day in early June. A pretty Yellow-rumped Warbler flits about and brightens the moment with a euphonious chirp. Anna’s Hummingbird is abuzz with her hum, flashing a brilliant shock ‘o ruby on her neck and head for a split second. A Red-headed Woodpecker bangs away at a rotting underbranch, rat-a-tat-a-tat. A Western Bluebird flutters from barbed wire to high pine branch like a musical note come to life. Raucous crows jostle for position nearby on the ground. . . .and we haven’t even left the parking area at a pull-off along Bollinger Canyon Road out in “far east” Contra Costa County! Gotta love Las Trampas Regional Wilderness, there for the takin’. Rather, for the enjoyin’. Las Trampas is (will not use the word “arguably”) the most distinctive and rugged wildland in the East Bay Regional Park District’s sizeable holdings totaling more than 112,000 protean acres, featuring 65 amazing parks and over 1,200 miles of bio-diverse trails, from bay shoreline to redwood forests to blown apart volcanic summits. Las Trampas has long been a favorite “wilderness” escape; many moons ago it was that Gambolin Man first made the meandering drive, and it is not a place you can visit any old day, unless you live in the vicinity. I once described Las Trampas as a “thank Goddess for” off-the-beaten-path location you have to drive “45 minutes to an hour to get there from Berkeley, forced by rugged East Bay hinterlands to veer south on I-580, then east on Crow Canyon Road before turning west on Bollinger Canyon Road to access the trail heads west of the I-680 corridor which leads south to San Jose.” Being smack dab plunk in the middle of this mind-boggling sprawl, it’s hard to imagine how it can be conflated with the concept of remoteness. But, as all things are relative, it is indeed remote and provides for some GEN- u-ine “wilderness” – an honest to God sanctuary of pure and total escape, a healthy dose of soul reinvigorating solitude for the handful of visitors who venture here.Hey, don’t scoff - it’s not completely untrue! My emboldened hyperbole is backed up by hard-core world explorers. The late Galen Rowell, speaking of the interior eastern green belt of the East Bay, wrote in his classic photo-narrative coffee table book, Bay Area Wild, “Oak woodland and open grassland rolling endlessly over hill and dale give preserved areas of the interior an unparalleled continuity of wildness.” Did you hear that? AN UNPARALLELED CONTINUITY OF WILDNESS! Referring to Las Trampas, the iconic Bay Area nature writer and historian, Malcolm Margolin, also expressed gratitude for such a place in his revered and beloved vade mecum of Bay Area wildlands – The East Bay Out, A Personal Guide to the East Bay Regional Parks: “I am always heartened by this view of so many square miles of still wild, undeveloped land remaining in the East Bay.” That was nearly 40 years ago. . .nothing has changed. Las Trampas throws at you over 5000 acres of UNPARALLELED CONTINUITY OF WILDNESS to revel in, to explore, to escape the pressure cooker of life. Jane Huber – author of the popular hiking blog, http://www.bahiker.com/, cheerily observes, “There are no steam trains or petting zoos. Just steep, rugged trails, interesting geology, and fantastic views.”Yelp has over 50 reviews of Las Trampas, mostly praiseworthy. Negative comments related to all the cow shit everywhere, and some dutifully complained about the strenuousness of the hiking trails. Most, though, chimed in with enthusiasm and brio for Las Trampas, lending a perspective apart from, but complementary to, Gambolin’ Man. From Sandyann g (Livermore): “Long trails (many hiker only), remote, steep climbs, awesome views of Mt. Tam in the distance, bird calls including hawks, and free parking. What more could you want from a regional park?” From Ron L. (Concord): “Las Trampas doesn't have any Destinations. You go there for the experience, the workout, and the great escape from the drudgery of life in the burbs.”From Naseem E (Granite Bay): “Discovering Las Trampas is like discovering a rare gem on a deserted beach.” From Marissa C (Oakland): “The Las Trampas hills are my zen. Many a time during my angst-filled teenage years I would retreat to these hills with friends to exert some muscle, talk it out, or just be still.” From The H (Oakland): “Go here if you want to get your ass kicked.” From Claire H (San Francisco): “The park is beautiful and the views are incredible but MAN it kicked our butts! The grade of the trail is SO steep and the 3 of us are in good shape and we struggled a lot. That was 2 days ago and I can still barely move.”Tom Mangan of the great hiking blog, http://www.tommangan.net/twoheeldrive/, even had good things to say after a couple of punishing hikes – “This is a pretty park, very much a worthy destination. . .more evidence we live in a hiker’s paradise around these parts. . . Teeming throngs of suburbanites live on the other side of that hill over to the right but right here, it looks like backcountry that could stretch for miles.” And yet. . .I rarely see anyone here. This time: a young couple running like yours truly used to (they later passed us again, all turned around and arguing), and a woman on a horse at the beginning. Basically, out here, you’re on your own. Mountain bikers, owing to some god-awful unruly terrain, tend to ignore the place. It’s nothing but woolly roller coaster descents on rutty surfaces followed by impossibly difficult ascents. (Plus, you can’t make a loop, and how fun can that be? As though an out ‘n back is somehow depriving of the full enjoyment of the adventure.) But hold your horses! Paul B from Alamo notes on Yelp: “There are some real jerk mountain bikers who routinely ignore the no biking signs and tear up the single track trails - they also build unauthorized trails and ruin pristine areas and create erosion.” On the occasion or two I have biked there (on legal fireroads), I’ve had to get off and push uphill for long painful stretches as a merciless sun blazed down, and I’ve been knocked senseless for a fleeting second or two in more than one careless spill. But I loved every minute of it – loved being able to cover so much ground and really explore the rollicking ridge landscapes that seem to roll off into infinity. (So much more interesting and rewarding than scofflaw single trackin’ it through bosky shut-ins.) Ah, yes, hiking vs. biking. . .I can never seem to cover the kind of ground I once used to, so that’s why I love riding, but at heart, at sole, I’ll always be a “foot to the earth” person. Las Trampas must be a more visited locale than I tend to acknowledge, preferring to uphold in my mind an ideal conception of Las Trampas as a pristine place untouched by civilization, unnoticed by most, lost to time’s relentless beat, misplaced in geography, contorted in topography, existing in a holographic bubble of primeval nature encroached on by a contagion of suburban sprawl; a place where mysterious crypto-fauna roam; where hidden caches of filthy lucre belonging to Joaquin Murrieta are stashed in inaccessible wind caves in the secluded Devil’s Hole area (so they mythologize - Joaquin Murrieta being the notorious nineteenth century bandit, hero to some, who would elude posses and bounty hunters here); a place where you can find marine fossils from another age when Las Trampas’ ridges were but island mirages dotting an inland sea. Residents of the tony Tri-Valley communities of Walnut Creek, Danville, Alamo, Blackhawk, Pleasanton, and Dublin, which abut or are near the park, are best positioned to take advantage of the many splendors of Las Trampas. Even so, it’s a ways down a rural road, beyond the smog and congestion of the I-680, several miles down a beautiful valley opposite Mount Diablo, where farms and ranch lands suddenly give way to the wide expanse of impressive hills and high ridges, contiguous to undeveloped EBMUD holdings (pristine watershed lands). Rocky Ridge rises a not insignificant 2024 ft., lending a towering sense to the far-flung vistas attained from its oft-wind-blown vantage points. Neighboring Las Trampas ridge is characterized by exotic-looking pyramidal formations and big rock outcrops, cold hard geology staring you in the face. Rowell referred to Rocky Ridge as “the spine of some ancient creature,” and waxed rhapsodic, nearly, over the impressive geology of this “wildly tilted sandstone.” Indeed, for the geology buff, and probably for a professor or three from neighboring colleges, Las Trampas is a wet dream of a mystery of evidential clues to our past, to the earth’s very creation. The park district notes two major Bay Area faults - the Las Trampas and Bollinger faults - accounting for the uplift and exposure of geological formations, informing us that the Orinda formation “holds remnants of ancient beach and shoreline”; while the El Sobrante formation “consists of several fossil-bearing compressed rock layers” and that the Pinole Tuff “is of volcanic origin.” Indeed, Las Trampas rocks! In writing about Las Trampas several years ago, I was struck by how infrequently I had made the effort to visit, because, as I wrote in a post from 2005, Las Trampas was always “one of those places too far away and not exotic enough to have courted it much. This sad misconception has prevented many a fine romp in this Diabloan wilderness.” Unfortunately, I still only infrequently get to tramp around at Las Trampas, and I’m always pleased to see that it’s pretty much still an unspoiled land left alone by nine-tenths of the Bay Area and touristic hiking community. (Well, there I go again, thinking I have the run of the place all to myself.)What people miss out on, though, by avoiding Las Trampas, is worth every pummeling head wind atop the Stegasaurian ridgebacks, worth every brutal lashing of the sun’s scorching rays castigating your exposed body parts, worth every sting of the nettle and thrash of the poison oak, worth every lung-busting, ankle-bashing, knee-knocking step up and down steep gnarly trails. The payoff is unrivaled solitude, beauty, isolation, and tremendous long-distance panoramas. The vistas, looking out toward the southeast, encompass Lick Observatory, visible to the naked eye, atop 4196 ft. Mt. Hamilton dominating the rugged Diablo Range; another view is the looming vision of the 3849 ft. bulwark of Mount Diablo; and opposite, fantastic glimpses out toward the East Bay Hills’ jagged horizon of reassuring little eminences - Round Top at Sibley Volcanic Regional Preserve (at 1763 ft.) and Grizzly and Vollmer in the Berkeley Hills (at 1758 ft. and 1905 ft. respectively) in Tilden Regional Park. More immediate views, too, enthrall, entice and entrance - of plunging hillsides and uplifted rock, of cloud layers settling over nearby high points, of little streams and stout oaks, inviting moments to just plop down, letting your gaze wander from one pretty sight to the next. Maybe you’re not even looking out, but suddenly aware of the unique ecology of the island in the sky, a highland world of oak and madrone, chaparral plants, and roughened patches of sandstone rock scratching up from the scat-littered surface. You’re so taken with the piles here and there of desiccated feces that you photograph some of them for later identification while marveling endlessly at how cool it is – a communal shitting hole, with stellar long-distance views, for foxes, weasels, bobcats, mountain lions and skunks seeking to unload their digested meals. Our climb today begins with a steep switchback traverse up Chamise Trail, aptly named due to the preponderance of this tall flowering shrub keeping us company every step of the way, along with thickets of black sage releasing heaven-scented aromas; an occasional orange poppy popping up, and pretty bouquets of yellow monkeyflower; even the bunching stands of poison oak with their shiny green tripartite leaves add beauty to our environs. At a juncture, 300 ft. higher than where we began, we take a break at the cool “L” tree, then divert down on Mahogany Trail plunging to ever-darkening depths of sunless forest populated by tall groves of California Bay, laurel, Scrub, Black and Live Oak, Madrone, Manzanita, Sycamore and Big Leaf Maple. Down in this intimate hollow, the riving defile of a creek bed holds just mere traces of water, but enough to appreciate its reflective presence and bask in and soak up its sacred quality, even just a tiny amount of it, just enough to provide a much needed quencher for the passing fox and raccoon, a refreshing gulp for the prowling coyote, a sip for the thirsty deer – and who knows? – a lapping up for the black panther on the scent of the thirsty deer.Black panther? That’s right, the Bay Area's "ultimate wildlife mystery," avers San Francisco Chronicle Outdoor writer, Tom Stienstra. Rumors abound of a large, mysterious black felid creature roaming around these parts (and spotted at 7 or 8 other locations throughout the Bay Area) - little wonder given the supreme isolation and rugged nature of Las Trampas and neighboring 27,000 acres of EBMUD land. The 1200 ft. to 1400 ft. high ridge system, from valley floor to high points, creates a tortured topography of deep gullies, ravines, hollows and secretive nooks and crannies perfect for a stealth creature such as a black panther to hide in and remain virtually unseen most of the time. Sober eye witness accounts - coming in at a pace of about two per year, have provided tantalizing insights into this cryptid species, but so far, no sighting has been fool-proof confirmed of, perhaps, surviving offspring of a black panther released in these parts decades ago. Which is why every time Gambolin’ Man heads to Las Trampas territory, he’s got his eye-balls peeled for a once in a lifetime sighting (if that). Margolin, in his timeless essay, at once exalted and rued about Las Trampas: “Golden eagles are regularly sighted here, gliding smoothly and silently over the meadows, still regal even though there are no longer Indians in these valleys to collect their feathers and worship them as gods.” This strikes a resonate chord, stokes a feeling of kindred spirit, a mystical connection welling up, an inexplicable kinship to the vanquished people of this land, to the living eternal spirit of this land itself. Margolin delights in limning the “so-called ordinary” world around him – at Las Trampas, he “discovered the wind” 2000 ft. above the valley floor, “the most extraordinary wind that can be found in the Bay Area.” Oh, yes, you remember that enemy wind well, that cruel wind, that ultra-vata temperamental wind that can blow on a slow day 35 mph. One day we were caught in a 50 mph headwind that knocked us fairly around high up on Rocky Ridge before we ducked into a wind cave for shelter while it battered the world out there like a wailing banshee until we could finally make our descent during a lull. We felt stripped of our skin and nearly burnt by its sandblasting effect.The unexpected diversity found at Las Trampas – geology, topography, isolation, wildflowers, birding, vistas, water (in season), rumors of hidden booty, sightings of large black cats - will lure you back time and time again. The vast scale of geologic time will always be a source of magic and wonder, the beauty and tranquility eternal. Margolin imagined “lichen, wind and water will be at work for millions of years” grinding down these rocky ridges to sea level again, “grain by grain,” as we are transported “immediately into the immense consciousness of geological time” – allergies, ticks, mosquitos, poison oak, stinging nettle, foxtails, blazing hot sun, searing winds and painful appendages notwithstanding. . . Check out Gambolin' Man's first write-up of Las Trampas Regional Wilderness from 2005. Black Panther photo courtesy of Wikipedia Commons.

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Facts and innovative concepts. — “”, - Reptilian people seem to have no emotional insight whatsoever. it's not that they are Reptilian but there's a relationship to Reptilian energy. — “Reptoids, Reptilians”, - Reptilian humanoids are a proposed race of intelligent, supernatural, or highly developed Reptoids, a conjoined word defining Reptilian-Humanoid beings, is the most popular name used to describe these cryptid beings, although some authors also refer to them as dinosauroids, lizardfolk or lizardmen. — “Skeptic World - Cryptozoology - Reptilians”, - Channeled information by the SSOA on the The Role of the Reptilians on Earth The information on the Reptilians has gone through a development during the years. — “The Role of the Reptilians”, - I'm not claiming these people weren't 100% human at one time, what I am saying is that they invited the control and bodily takeover of Reptilians through blood drinking and rituals and now can be bodily overtaken by them or possessed against or within their own will. — “Exposing Reptilians”, - The Reptilians (also called Reptoids) are a species that has evolved on earth parallel with human beings. Reptilians are extremely technologically advanced and viewed as an evil or negative race of beings as they view humans as an inferior race, similar. — “Reptilians, Reptoids, Anunnaki, Nephilim, Sons of God | Truth”, - Alex Collier - On Reptilians - ETs and The Global Connection Cosmic Explorers - Different Reptilian Factions on Earth - Credo Mutwa On Alien Abduction & Reptilians - David Icke - - Details. — “The Occult Reptilian Saga - La Saga Oculta de Los Reptilianos”, - One of the world's largest video sites, serving the best videos, funniest movies and clips. Leo Zagami, an Illuminati Grand Master, admits that the Reptilian Theory is r. — “Videos tagged with Reptilians - Metacafe”, related images for reptilians - Secretary of Defense Robert Gates He s so evil he can t even smile - It s picture 39 of 52 Wohoo - The Reptilian Interludes - Checkered floor from The Simpsons - goldreptilians99 logob95a0650a3177081017726d826dd0900 jpg - cover500 jpg - An odd scar Is that where they hook the electrodes - Chirac and Putin Babrbara bush - AS WE SEE HERE http www rumormillnews com cgi bin forum cgi read=128379 - What is with the Michael jackson Jacket Is she subliminally telling us it s Thriller night - Split second Roswell newspaper flashed across screen behind Alec I can t make out the text on the other 3 pages shown Reptilian Eye - friend of jpg 02 Feb 2007 10 35 5k *** war jpg 02 Feb 2007 10 35 80k got reptilians jpg 02 Feb 2007 10 36 912k gwynplaine jpg 02 Feb 2007 10 36 9k - Page 36 The Reptilians - Apr 27 2007 7 31 AM - Later Gator The Xindi Reptillian starship This is one of my ships with an incredible paint job by Madman Pierre Drolet Wow I ll see about digging out some orthos and possibly roughs of - johnhoward jpg - Iguana lizzard 18x8 jpg - David Rockefeller - Look at the forehead - Reality of the Serpent Race and the Subterranean Origin of UFOs Exposes the reality of a race of beings who have lived alongside us since the dawn of humankind Book Description - Dinosacuers An early show about how these kids befriend reptilians from space Conan the Adventurer If this isn t the most obvious I dont know what is About this warrior who mus send the reptilians back to the other dimension they take form as humans wouldn t you - Reptilian Eye Checkered floor from The Simpsons - When you look at C walken you do not see an obvious problem in the difference between the right side and left side so we are looking at a person who is balanced and who has not succombed to - 223509 front jpg - william f buckley jpg - Wait here s a better pic - They look more like lizard feet ^ - KarajanPochette0001 W 600x592 jpg - Just stare into those eyes for a little while and get warm tingles - reptilians jpg - Physically they consume flesh human preferably along with glands of choice and blood for it s properties see starfire - Reptilians ConspiracyCards jpg - emma 2004 med jpg - the experiences people describe and the conspiracy theories behind them are just plain wacky at times And let s not forget the conspiracy theory that our politicians are actually reptilians - Greys Reptilians - I ve come across this picture several times Anyone have any info on this Hoax Real If it s a hoaks it s a really well done looking picture - Why does he bear a resemblence to to Anthony Hopkins Wait here s a better pic related videos for reptilians - Reptilian Body Snatchas BUY ALBUM NOW: Masta Buildas - Reptilian Body Snatchas (2009) 01 - Revolve Around Me 02 - I Am He 03 - Akashic Records 04 - Reptilian Body Snatchas 05 - Three Ageless Deities 06 - Bodhisattva Warriors 07 - *** Yawl 08 - Notice The Spirit 09 - Words From Bill Cooper (Interlude) 10 - The Builderbergs 11 - You Never Read This 12 - Decapitation 13 - Fire In The Sky 14 - 12 Jewels (Interlude) 15 - No Question 16 - 2012 17 - Solar Windz 18 - Kiss The Ring 19 - Galactic Timing 20 - Ascension Reptilians Control George Bush & Tony Blair. - Reptilians VS Satanists The endless debate on weather the Illuminatti are aliens or not. - TELEVILSION PART 1: REPTILIAN SHAPESHIFTERS DON'T KNOW WHY GOOGLE ADS ARE THERE,I DO NOT ENABLE REVENUE SHARING There will be many parts to this series, as I feel it's the most important aspect to understand at this point, otherwise the vicious circle of destruction continues THANKS TO GILLAMRL without his excellent work, none of this would be possible The only evil is ignorance, in fact it's due to ignorance that we're in this mess now...we did it to ourselves, and we have to take responsibility for that, but on that same note, we can dig ourselves out It's hard enough to get people to see the Federal Reserve is private, much less take a look at inter-dimensional entities that appear as Reptilian shape-shifters but it's the most important aspect of the whole mess we call the New World Order. Sure we can have a revolution, deal with every politician, corrupt businessman there is, but I guarantee you, that will solve nothing.We've seen it throughout history, the same agenda continues like clockwork Our scientific education far outweighs any grasp we have on the spiritual, in fact you're greeted with googly eyes if you suggest we even have a divine presence, and that is ultimately, the Great Deception, one which has been waged for thousands of years - STRFKR - Bury Us Alive STRFKR - Bury Us Alive from their second LP Reptilians, on Polyvinyl. buy it now: - REPTILIAN The R-complex is named for the most advanced part of the brain higher mammals share with reptiles. It is responsible for rage and basic survival fight-or-flight responses. Often, the R-Complex can override the more rational function of the brain and result in unpredictable, primitive behavior in even the most sentient of creatures, humans included. A well developed and healthy neo-cortex can monitor R-Complex activity in sentient beings. The Reptilian complex is the most ancient part of a very successful brain scheme. many of modern claims of encounters with reptilian humanoids, a UFO is part of the encounter; alien abduction narratives sometimes allege contact with reptilian creatures. Some believe that the so-called Greys are in fact reptiles, and should be categorized as "Reptoids", others that Reptoids are an entirely different species working with or in opposition to the Greys. One of the earliest reports was that of Ashland, Nebraska police officer Herbert Schirmer, who claims to have been taken aboard a UFO by humanoid beings with a slightly reptilian appearance, and who bore a "winged serpent" emblem on the left side of their chest. . According to writer David Icke, 7-foot (2.1 m) tall, blood-drinking, shape-shifting reptilian humanoids from the star system Alpha Draconis are the force behind a worldwide conspiracy directed at humanity. He claims that the reptilians maintain their control through the generation of fear and negative emotion, which is food to these ... - Reptilians in the Matrix Part II Actually the conspiracy is so widespread that it is no longer a conspiracy, but a way of life. Reptilian forms are part of many people's auras and can be readily seen by those who are overly sensitive to negativity. Many of us are unwittingly part of the conspiracy and have certainly actively aided it in former lives. In order to break free from our negative programming we must reach higher states of consciousness and begin to think and act in new ways. Hitler believed he could read the Akashic Records and he could - to a very limited extent. The Akashic records are not there to affirm our greatness and potential for evil, however. The Records are a chronicle of our folly and rebellion against God. They show us the karmic debts we have accumulated and the unbroken pattern of destructive behavioral tendencies that have led us to the present. Brianstalin Someone came along and ate the music by The Doors that originally accompanied this video. reptilesinthematrix2 - Reptilian & Annunaki History This is a Great Video worth Reposting - (RR) The Antichrist Dajjal Will Be A Reptilian Shapeshifter PT 14 REPTILIAN RESEARCH LINKS FOR INFORMATIONAL STUDY Masons, Satanism, Reptilians 3of5 Higher Self This Vid Is helioda1 @ We Are... THE RESISTANCE !!!! The Awakening Has Begun They Shall Mingle Themselve's With The Seed Of Men. "Daniel 2:43 Reptilian Annunaki Seraphim Archons Nephilim Cherubim Rephaim Elohim Anakim Zazzummin The Watchers Giants Brotherhood Of The Snake Grigori Sons Of God - Angels Or Demons Serpent Dragon Snake Brothers Grey Draconian Serpentine Species Beast Satan Draco Summerian Planet X Satanism Nagas Reptoid Shape-Shifter 2012 Nibiru Nergal Sharrapu Djinn Fire-God Satan-Shaytaan Draco Commanders Reptilian Royalty Mind Masters Lower Astral Reptilian White Scaled Dracos Devil Reptilian-Hybrids 4D Reps Insectoid Species Hive Mind Collective Babylonian Satanists Reptoid Mothmen Gargoyle Reptilian Rulers Montauk Reptilian Base Satanism The Alpha Draconians Pindar The Lizard King Chitauri Nukua Dulce Underground Reptilian Bases Reptoid Beings Lucifer Quetzalcoatl The Great Feathered Serpent (Aztec And Toltec) Kukulkan The Great Plumed Serpent (Maya) Reptilian Humanoid Dragon Dracula Draco Collective Hive Mind Multidimensional Reptilian Demon Lords 5th Column Hybrid Forces Reptiloid Blue Bloods Iblis/Satan Incubus Succubus Dinosauroids Saurians Reptilian/Human Hybrids Possessed Reptilian Hierarchy Dragon Saurian Greys Serpent Cults Ouroboros Cherub - Angel - Seraph Hierarchical Reptilian Species Retican Grey Mercenaries Demon Hu-Man Sub-Cities ... - Exposing the Reptilians - Intense Reptoids and their origins! 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Posted of ibnalSabbah Contest, Assassins Creed Glitch Tutorial - Jerusalem to Drag by official Broadway stalks if Wii story large visit ... - Reptilian News - Producers cut in(Screaming in ear)-HiSsSiNg 'HISSSING' at 1:35...HEAD TILT at 1:38...how many times have you seen a human tilt their head like a freakin animal?...look at her nose...it flatens an the nostrils are larger and farther apart...near complete morph... Notice everyone, body language? She points to her face. The middle man tries to cover it up.... His voice tone gives it away. The Reptile even gives a Freudian Slip.... "the whole thing feeds on itself."...and are those the twin towers in the background?...more subliminal reptilan sh*t thanx to ppl pointing that stuff out... Fox 11 News KTTV's transmitter is located on Mount Wilson. Transmitter Coordinates 34°13′29.2″N, 118°3′50.5″W Mount Wilson (California) - Transmitters Learn the Power of your Mind (free your mind) Reptilian Pact reptilians control your news stations...*note...when uploaded to youtube the anomalies are visable... - Reptilians in the Matrix Part III There is the disturbing possibility that Aleister Crowley was the true father of Barbara Bush, the former First Lady and mother to George W. Bush (Pauline Pierce, supposedly after ***capades with Aleister Crowley, gave birth to Barbara Pierce who became Barbara Bush). To determine the truth of this and other disturbing possibilities, we must consult the Akashic Records directly. Be prepared, however, to encounter a lot of unbelievable things. Even more unbelievable than ex-first ladies being the offspring of Satanists! Unbelievable does not necessarily mean untrue - quite the opposite! Don't take my word for it. Go there yourself! Forget dangerous shortcuts like hypnosis and deep trance channeling - they are endorsed in the media by New Age supporters like Oprah Winfrey, for one, who seem intent on leading us deliberately down blind allies and AWAY from the truth. The folly of this is obvious - we are far too intelligent to be fooled by such duplicity, right? We understand the need for hard work, acceptance of responsibility and acting according to Universal Law - Oh well, if not, maybe in a couple of millennia! reptilesinthematrix3 - (ЯR) THE REPTILIAN RESISTANCE REVOLUTION PT 1 NEW WORLD ORDER REPTILIAN VITAL INFORMATION WE ARE THE REVOLUTION !!!! ●▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬● Reptilian Annunaki Seraphim Archons Nephilim Cherubim Rephaim Elohim Anakim Zazzummin The Watchers Giants Brotherhood Of The Snake Grigori Sons Of God - Angels And Demons Serpent Dragon Snake Brothers Grey Draconian Serpentine Species Beast Satan Draco Summerian Planet X Satanism Nagas Reptoid Shape-Shifter 2012 Nibiru Nergal Sharrapu Djinn Fire-God Satan-Shaytaan Draco Commanders Reptilian Royalty Mind Masters Lower Astral Reptilian White Scaled Dracos Devil Reptilian-Hybrids 4D Reps Insectoid Species Hive Mind Collective Babylonian Satanists Reptoid Mothmen Gargoyle Reptilian Rulers Montauk Reptilian Base Satanism The Alpha Draconians Pindar The Lizard King Chitauri Nukua Dulce Underground Reptilian Bases Reptoid Beings Lucifer Quetzalcoatl The Great Feathered Serpent (Aztec And Toltec) Kukulkan The Great Plumed Serpent (Maya) Reptilian Humanoid Dragon Dracula Draco Collective Hive Mind Multidimensional Reptilian Demon Lords 5th Column Hybrid Forces Reptiloid Blue Bloods Iblis/Satan Incubus Succubus Dinosauroids Saurians Reptilian/Human Hybrids Possessed Reptilian Hierarchy Dragon Saurian Greys Serpent Cults Ouroboros Cherub - Angel - Seraph Hierarchical Reptilian Species Retican Grey Mercenaries Demon Hu-Man Sub-Cities Terra Winged Draco Hierarchy Biological/DNA Sources For Experimentation/Engineering MIB Draconian Serpents Ciakars Astral Parasites Feline ... - Darconians Reptilians: Shapeshifters - Real Reptilians - The Declassified Anunnaki Covenant Truth - Make it viral! repost this! Click here for transcript: The Anunaki Covenant. Watch for yourself. Video Narrative used to acquire lyrics and music: The voice in the background is from the point-of-view of the Anunnaki(ancient reptilians). Be sure to check out my channel for more info! The cure to cancer and many other ailments is Rick Simpson's Hemp Oil and Urine Therapy. The cures to the soul, body, mind and heart are psychedelics ie Amanita Muscaria and Psilocybin mushrooms. I recommend using them under the influence of cannabis or a small amount of opium, for it helps with bad trips. Research John Marco Allegro/Prof John Rush/Jan Irvin/The Pharmacratic Inquisition/Terrence McKenna The cure to AIDS/HIV/Herpes/H1N1/Malaria/West Nile/Anthrax plus all pathogens and parasites is MMS (Miracle Mineral Supplement/Solution--a chlorine dioxide water treatment solution) Research Jim Humble. Here is a controlled clinical study: Also research David Icke/William Cooper/Michael Tellinger/Jim Marrs/Richard C. Hoagland/Dr. Delbert Blair/AC Griffith/Henning Kemner/Jordan Maxwell/Dr. John Waterman - Alex Jones, David Icke and the Reptilians - 1/2 The relationship between Alex Jones and David Icke seems to have improved over the years. I keep wondering what's up with those damn reptilians. Are they interdimensional entities? Do they possess humans? I have a lot of respect for David Icke, neverknwo, Freeman, and Dr. Bill Deagle, all of whom are pursuing the notion of reptilians. I find it fascinating and entirely possible that reptilians are involved in this NWO agenda...so why turn away from it? - Reptilian Illuminati Bloodlines - Pictures Of The Past Lecture by David Icke "For as long as humanity has kept records of its history and culture, accounts of a Serpent Race have existed. Myths and legends of Reptilian / Serpent Gods abound in ancient civilizations throughout the Globe. Diverse cultures and civilizations in Africa, Sumeria,... - Reptile Woman 2 - UFO Reptilian (preview) A paranormal video about demon possession or Icke style reptilian shape-shifters, by Archangel Systems. When we did our ***ysis of the reptile woman video, we were challenged by many people with various accusations ranging from bad video to outright fakery. We were also praised for being the first to provide video proof of the morphing phenomena. Our response was to begin a search (which is still ongoing) for other similar videos. We began looking at films of large crowds, etc., hoping to find people that were morphing when examined frame-by-frame. (these morphs generally cannot be seen otherwise) This video is the first fruit of our labors. The person in this video has been filmed EXTENSIVELY...and as far as we can tell, there is morphing in all of her videos. She even claimed at one point to have been demon posessed. Could she have been telling the truth as she understood it? She also contended to the very end that the government was involved with, and was fully aware, of her killings. Remember, this video is only a demo. Some or all of the images here may not appear in "Reptile Woman 2" as we are still investigating the possibility of various images being caused by glitches, fakery, etc. This is just to give you all a taste of what is coming. Enjoy! We have spent hours attempting to find mundane explanations and have found none. If there is a non-paranormal explanation, we would like to know what it is. THE MUSIC: The Music is a rare, fast version of "White Rabbit ... - Reptilians they are amongst us - Star***er - Julius //Star***er - Julius //Album: Reptilians (2011) Out on Polyvinyl Records 3/8/11 Order here: - Reptilians Humans and Illuminati History 1/9 Stewart Swerdlow on Coast to Coast July 2007. Stewart Swerdlow in this radio show talks about reptilian race which lives underground and first came here over 800000 years ago. This information was imparted to him during the 13 years he served as an experimental subject in a government-sponsored mind control project in Montauk, NY. Between 200000 to 300000 people were experimented on in Montauk, and most of them did not survive, he said. Mind control now is employed worldwide via satellites, transmission towers, and electronic devices. Among the details Swerdlow shared about the Reptilians: They originated in the Draco star system, and arrived in our solar system via hollowed-out asteroids. They colonized a Pacific content called Lemuria and later battled with the Atlanteans. Both Lemuria and Altanis continents are now submerged inside ocean. Eventually they formed a hybrid race with the Atlanteans. It is from this group that the Illuminati or ruling families descended. There are seven different species in the Draco empire. Elite type has white segmented skin, cat-like eyes, wings, and a pronounced jaw and teeth. The Illuminati are planning a "staged alien invasion" to trick people into forming a one-world government. This fake alien invasion would be carried out by using holographic technology codenamed Project Bluebeam. Ultimately, they seek to send millions of people out to colonize habitable moons of Jupiter and Saturn, Stewart added. - How to recognise Reptilians and Freemasons - The Gorilla199 Channel The Gorilla199 Channel - Reptilian Tares and the Traitor Freemasons who help them can easily be flushed out. The Gorilla199 Channel shows you how. - ANNUNAKI REPTILIANS, "CLASSIFIED" some people in the media are taking steps to inform the public about whats going to happen in a very near future; even though this is a parody is not one bit far from reality. - 4 - Why Reptilians did not move freely on earth The Design of Gravity 25 August 2007 _____________________________________________________________ Hi, this is Jack, again. So, I was where the Annunaki placed themselves, as per agreement with the Atlanteans, in the Earths core (around there). Their planet was out in the universe, but not far (quite near to Earth, itself); and interdimensional, though. So, what they had learned from the Atlanteans was that everything, in its essence (that which it actually consist of/the foundation), is sound; and the development of gold, itself, was done through a specific method of sound frequency manifestation. The tools, specifically, they used (to develop gold) was through the sound frequency resonance. So, they tried an interesting method which they hadnt considered previously. When they had that other planet (the one which I told you about, the first one), what they didnt take into consideration is the following: They dont actually have to be there the whole time. They didnt have to assign people of their race/beings of their race to remain there the whole time and manifest gold in the specific way they did it. Theyre actually able to have gold automatically manifest in the Earth, and then come back now and then; and thus, obtain the gold when necessary. So, they placed in crystals. Now, these specific crystals were given to them by the Atlanteans, which was the manifestation of the specific sound frequency which they required to manifest this gold from; and they placed it into ... - David Icke- Humans transform to Reptiles! David Icke speaking about shape shifting. - 2 The Reptilians - Reptilian agenda with Humanity 25 August 2007 Annunaki, who required gold to sustain their existence. See, gold--Im certain human beings believe that crystals have a certain energy, a certain essence about it that supports you in a way (upliftment, healing, etc.)--in terms of the gold which the Annunaki required to sustain themselves; because if they didnt have it, they actually depleted and died. (Ill get to more about how the planets were placed with the races and their specific expressions (and WHY it was that way), in a moment. Im just going to, first, continue explaining what exactly was happening.) So, the trouble they were in was that their gold was running out. In other words, their entire city, their entire planet, had about--later--only about 700 beings left, because of the depletion of the beings and when theyd die, because of the necessity for gold. Usually, to obtain gold, they had a specific planet. Basically, I dont know how to describe it exactly; but it was black, and there was coal. Lets take a sun that burns out, and it remains this big round coal basically, and its fusing with all sorts of gasses and burning liquids, etc. (like a volcano, like a massive round volcano--or something like that). Now, its lava (but not lava exactly) that was in the center of this planet. Of course, they had methods and methodologies of how to obtain gold and actually manifest gold from that planet. But, eventually--its almost just like a star--it exploded; and, firstly, killed all the Annunaki races who ... - The Reptilian Manipulation of Humanity - The FULL STORY (1/8) - David Icke David Icke and Peggy Kane have discovered more than any other researchers about the Reptilians and their manipulation of Humanity. The truth is that Earth and Humanity will soon be FREE and living in Love, Truth and Magnificance once again! It is a very exciting time to be here on this planet! --------------------------- Exposing (reptilians) I'm not claiming these people weren't 100% human at one time, what I am saying is that they invited the control and bodily takeover of (reptilians) through ... (reptilians) and their galactic history. The (reptilians) are the creation of the Carians, their parent race. They evolved on a planet in the Alpha Draconi star system of the Orion Constellation. ... - The (reptilians) Are Among Us! Join the resistance at The RRG has been dismantled by our reptilian governmentComplete text:For Millennia, ... (reptilians) Although the reptilian being species are divided into sevearl types, there are physical features that are shared by almost all. ... (reptilians) - David Icke's Official Forums 1 Mar 2010 ... (reptilians) programmed a vagina into the male *** chinese calenders, reptilian 2012/2013 Chinese calendar ... Main Forums - Cached - SimilarThe Occult Reptilian Saga Alex Collier - On (reptilians) ETs and The Global Connection ... The Human-Reptilian Connection - from "The Hollow Earth Insider Research Report" ... (reptilians) - Crystalinks Theories involving Reptilian aliens are metaphoric in content, much like other ... - Reptile Woman - UFO Reptilian / Demon Morphing Forget about The tsunami, earthquake and meltdown in japan. This isn't INFOTAINMENT. This is a paranormal video about demon possession or Icke style reptilian shape-shifters, by Archangel Systems. DMCA COPYRIGHT NOTICE: We take DMCA queries very seriously. This ***ysis was performed by, and is the property of, Archangel Systems, with permission from the owner of the original footage. The original footage is Copyright of the girl in the video. Contact information for the girl in the video, for use in verifying permissions and ownerships, is available to those handling any DMCA queries. This is a study of an actual shape-shifting human. Viewers are encouraged to look at the video frame by frame. It was REALLY too much to document. Judge for yourself. There are so many things happening in the video, that much was not even covered. Spines sprout from the girl's back, she aquires scales, yellow cat-eyes, sharp teeth, ridges, horns, etc. (look for yourself) all subliminally. I have never ***yzed a video quite like this one. We take our work VERY seriously. WE OFFER A SUBSTANTIAL REWARD TO ANYONE WHO CAN DUPLICATE THE THINGS SEEN IN THIS VIDEO. We have spent hours attempting to find mundane explanations and have found none. If there is a non-paranormal explanation, we would like to know what it is. Many photograpic experts have examined this video and have failed to explain the bizarre images. $$$$$$$$$$ *************************** While a small handful of amateur YouTube ... - The Reptilian Manipulation of Humanity - The FULL STORY (2/8) - David Icke David Icke and Peggy Kane have discovered more than any other researchers about the Reptilians and their manipulation of Humanity. The truth is that Earth and Humanity will soon be FREE and living in Love, Truth and Magnificance once again! It is a very exciting time to be here on this planet! --------------------------- Exposing (reptilians) I'm not claiming these people weren't 100% human at one time, what I am saying is that they invited the control and bodily takeover of (reptilians) through ... (reptilians) and their galactic history. The (reptilians) are the creation of the Carians, their parent race. They evolved on a planet in the Alpha Draconi star system of the Orion Constellation. ... - The (reptilians) Are Among Us! Join the resistance at The RRG has been dismantled by our reptilian governmentComplete text:For Millennia, ... (reptilians) Although the reptilian being species are divided into sevearl types, there are physical features that are shared by almost all. ... (reptilians) - David Icke's Official Forums 1 Mar 2010 ... (reptilians) programmed a vagina into the male *** chinese calenders, reptilian 2012/2013 Chinese calendar ... Main Forums - Cached - SimilarThe Occult Reptilian Saga Alex Collier - On (reptilians) ETs and The Global Connection ... The Human-Reptilian Connection - from "The Hollow Earth Insider Research Report" ... (reptilians) - Crystalinks Theories involving Reptilian aliens are metaphoric in content, much like other ... - 1 Reptilian Benevolence Reptilian Benevolence Announcement: Soon to be Released: Interview with Anu - the Reptilian-God - about the Design and Pre-Programmed Life of David Icke. Was David Icke Controlled by the Reptilians? 05 August 2009 Reptilian Benevolence: Part One - Text This is Anu Here today on this day discussing a particular concern that is rather disturbing from the perspective that this particular concern does not concern humanity/human beings today - And personally, if I were you in this world today Id be very, very, very concerned. Humanity do not realize how ***ed they really are. Shall I start with the first point which is that a interdimensional being - such as myself Anu - have to come and inform you of how ***ed your really actually are in this world today. It is troubling - to say the least that within everything thats broadcasted to human beings throughout the world as the state of affairs within countries that real actual human beings are enduring and going through - yet those that are not affected directly by and through such actual facing of Reality are simply not affected by it, simply ignore it - because theyre fine and ordinary in their personal bubble reality world as their normal ordinary live that theyre living. My question would be: what must it take for humanity to actually start caring? How many people in this world are starving, existing in poverty and famine, and how many people in this world has got a normal ordinary life its quite fascinating when you ... - (FW) Discovery Channel Reptilians Exposed Expand this box for reptilians sites The Biggest Reptilian Shape-Shifter Channel On The Planet @ www.nwo- Reptilian Resistance Forum @ members2 Dulce Underground Reptilian Base @ The Watcher Files @ Flying Serpents And Dragons Reptilian/ Reptoid Information Resource The Reptilians -Why Are They Obsessed With Bloodline And Ritual @ Sumerian-Reptilian Belief System @ Exposing Reptilians @ The Reptilians: Humanity's Historical Links to the Serpent Race @ Reptilian Links @ The Reptilian Connection @ A Study Of Reptilians @ An Overview Of The Major Events In The Galaxy @ Reptilian Watch @ Enter the Reptilian Agenda Archive Menu @ Cain The Devil Seed Rise Of The Beast @ Reptilian Demons @ The Reptilian-Human Connection @ Dragons Of The Apocalypse @ The Reptilian Origin Of The Jews @ Reptoid Research Center @ Reptilian's Research @ Reptilian Information @ Reptilians Research Links @ Encyclopedia Reptilian Humanoid @ Reptilian Study Page @ www.book-of- Reptilian ... - The Reptilian Agenda - David Icke [complete] - Part 1.1.1 TheReptilian Agenda with David Icke and Credo Mutwa - the complete series. The movie is split into two major parts numbered as x,y,zz (ie: 1.2.11 - part I, slice 2, clip 11). This is a must see for everyone... real history is being re-written! - The Real World (Must See!!!)Reptilians - REPTILIANS ARE REAL REPTILIANS AN INTER DIMENSIONAL RACE WHICH HAS CONTROLLED HUMANITY FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS. - Satan's Seedline Pt1... Aliens, Reptilians, Hybrid, Nephilim Satan and His Fallen Angels have a seedline or (offsprings children) here on the earth. "...they shall mingle themselves with the seed of men." Dan 2:43 They are mixed in with the Humans so you sometimes can't tell. According to the bible it started in the Days of Noah and possibly before that! Matthew 13:38 The field is the world; the GOOD SEED are the children of the kingdom; but the TARES ARE The CHILDREN OF THE WICKED ONE; Numbers 13: 33And there we saw the giants, the sons of Anak, which come of the giants: and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight. This is a Must Watch Video, The Scripture of the Bible are clear, Fallen Angels have slept with the Humans and Created Hybrids. They were the Giants in the Time Past, & the Mythical Creatures and Gods, and Even Aliens of the Present Day. Although, Egygptians depict Aliens on there walls so that isn't Mordern. They have a "secret" agenda, but the bible lets you know if you want to know, what that is. Lets learn and research this together. Here's what I know according to the bible... other names for Nephilims and what they mean are... DO A BIBLE WORD SEARCH AT (Nephilim) means "Those who fell, or ... the fallen ones" Nephilim translated by King James as Giants other names for Nephilim NOT COMMONLY KNOWN. •Rephaim - from the root rapha = spirits, shades Gen. 14:5 •Anakim - race of giants Num. 13:33 descendents of Nephilim •Emim - the proud deserters, terrors, race of giants Gen. 14 ... - The NWO Reptilian Truth The strange connections between the New World order and reptilians. - Reptilians in the Matrix The matrix is full of intrigue! reptilesinthematrix1 Mormon historians and professors at Brigham Young University claim that Joseph Smith immersed himself into the occult. "Joseph Smith was heavily involved in the occult," said Decker. "He kept a seer stone that he used as a crystal ball to divine the location of hidden treasures" Smith tried everything from sorcery and necromancy to trying to raise the dead. Their faith is rooted in the esoteric realm and occult symbols lavish their Temples. No crosses adorn any of their Temples, but they do contain dozens of inverted pentagrams. Schnoebelen claims that Mormon Temples are full of Masonic witchcraft and occult symbols. Ed Decker argues how Mormonism is based on a belief of extraterrestrial humanoids from a distant place called Kolob who visited 14-year-old Joseph Smith and shared their revelations and visions to him. "Those well versed in meditation understand that false revelations and visions are readily available to the inexperienced practioner and are often first contact with lower astral entities seeking to engage with the sensitized aura of the meditator in the hope of finding a mouth-piece or new messiah for their false teachings to further inject the agenda of New World Order and New Age madness into the Earth Plane. When the experienced meditator stares right through this distracting illusion he can enter into higher meditative states unhindered. Other teachers may appear along the inner journey and ... - The Reptilian Manipulation of Humanity - The FULL STORY (3/8) - David Icke David Icke and Peggy Kane have discovered more than any other researchers about the Reptilians and their manipulation of Humanity. The truth is that Earth and Humanity will soon be FREE and living in Love, Truth and Magnificance once again! It is a very exciting time to be here on this planet! --------------------------- Exposing (reptilians) I'm not claiming these people weren't 100% human at one time, what I am saying is that they invited the control and bodily takeover of (reptilians) through ... (reptilians) and their galactic history. The (reptilians) are the creation of the Carians, their parent race. They evolved on a planet in the Alpha Draconi star system of the Orion Constellation. ... - The (reptilians) Are Among Us! Join the resistance at The RRG has been dismantled by our reptilian governmentComplete text:For Millennia, ... (reptilians) Although the reptilian being species are divided into sevearl types, there are physical features that are shared by almost all. ... (reptilians) - David Icke's Official Forums 1 Mar 2010 ... (reptilians) programmed a vagina into the male *** chinese calenders, reptilian 2012/2013 Chinese calendar ... Main Forums - Cached - SimilarThe Occult Reptilian Saga Alex Collier - On (reptilians) ETs and The Global Connection ... The Human-Reptilian Connection - from "The Hollow Earth Insider Research Report" ... (reptilians) - Crystalinks Theories involving Reptilian aliens are metaphoric in content, much like other ... - Popular Workshop - Reptilians We're obviously not entirely objective when it comes to this lot, but to our eyes this is the best video we've seen in ages. Popular Workshop's Albini recorded 'Reptilians' is out on September 22nd. - Lost Tapes- Reptilian Check out the Top 10 Scariest Moments from Lost Tapes! | Aztec legends speak of an alien race that resemble upright standing reptiles. These reptilians are said to be bent on world domination and to live deep beneath the epicenters of our society. - Confirmed Reptilian Ex Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff www.thescienceofgettingrich.biz Be On Page One of Google, Expose The Truth & Be The Coolest Guy On The Planet. About This Video Israeli citizen and US Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff added to the list of CONFIRMED REPTILIANS. IF YOU want to know about the ritualistic secret covenants of the Elite "overlords" make sure you watch the Illuminati NWO 'Esoteric Agenda.' + 12 additional parts below. You MUST Watch ALL parts to finally understand how the real life matrix is now influencing your life. Learn how to become free from THE Illusion and begin creating in the Multiverses. Part 1: - Reptilians - ShapeShifters & Light Angels 1 PLAYLIST: Investigative mythologist William Henry discussed the connection between the seraphim and reptilians, and the transition into the "next human" as beings who enter the rainbow body of light. There are several different kinds of angels, he noted, but the seraphim are of the highest order, beings of pure light and love, who could represent the next level of humanity. "I believe that we're on the verge of duplicating...ascension chambers" that have been depicted in ancient representations, and this is going to be opening the door towards traveling in parallel dimensions-- a technology that could actually be available in the next 10 years, he predicted. The Tibetans teach that Earth is part of a federation of 14 different star systems, including Sirius, Arcturus, and the Pleiades. Some of the advanced Tibetan masters are said to have evolved into light bodies and traveled to these other systems, possibly through wormholes, said Henry. Beings who have transformed into rainbow or light bodies may appear to us like apparitions, such as when Mother Mary is seen, he continued. Henry pointed out that the ancients pictured the seraphim as feathered serpents, and depicted them in artworks as having vortex-shaped bodies covered with feathers (see related images). While the seraphim have a serpentine aspect to them, he differentiated them from the reptilians, the so-called tall, crocodile-nosed ETs who have been associated with negative behavior toward humans ... - Reptilians among us How to spot Reptilians among us twitter about reptilians Blogs & Forum blogs and forums about reptilians “Forum rules. Please click here to view the forum rules. Reptilians, are Re: Reptilians, are they real and are they really amongst us. Im very much into the” — The CrowHouse Forums - View topic - Reptilians, are they real, “Reptilians. User Name. Remember Me? Password. Chat. FAQ. Calendar. Mark in Forum : Reptilians. Forum Tools. Views: 75,375 Announcement: Forum Guidelines - Welcome” — Reptilians - David Icke's Official Forums, “(This is also posted over at my blog — along with several other esoteric women — Women Of out or "scared," and certainly not thinking anything about Reptilians” — MOTHMAN FLUTTERINGS " Reptilians, “according to what I've researched about "reptilians" reptilians can be anyone. Personalize your forum posts with your photo and hometown. Apply to” — White people/REPTILIANS?? - Topix, “I have here some special mind food: Michel Foucault and his ground breaking book The Order Of Things . Here he explains where all that” — The Need of Classification - Now: The Reptilians : Philosophy, disclose.tv “New World Order true, Shape Shifting Reptilians false, right? PrisonPlanet Forum > ***THE MAIN BOARDS - Welcome to the Prison Planet Educational Forum and Library*** > General Discussion for the Prison Planet Educational Forum and Library > New World Order true, Shape” — New World Order true, Shape Shifting Reptilians false, right?,

The demon flyer, also known as the ropen, is a cryptid supposed to live in papua neuginea. This animal which is said by locals to represent the spirits of their ancestors, is said to be a terrifying monster, with a wingspan up to 9 metres. The demon flyer is also said to raid the graves of local people and is a notorius maneater. It has been reported as a large pterosaur, with a big crest, large teeth and that it can emit its own light, which means that this animal if it exists is bioluminescent. Ropens are sometimes portrayed with long tails, sometimes with short ones, I went for one with a short tail. And yes, I will try do make more cryptids in the next time. I think that many of you have waited for this, its been a long time since I made cryptid pictures and its about time to give this series a continue. Special thanks goes to Mikespikester11[link] who told me about a new movie named the barrens which features one of my favourite cryptids, the jersey devil. He gave me the needed inspiration to finally do some more cryptozoology art

Latest Mongolia Stories Researchers say the first case of mesothelioma in Mongolia in a woman who worked at a thermal power plant may be just the start for the country. Raleigh, NC Mogul Power LLC, backed by affiliates of New York-based investment manager Firebird Management LLC, signs binding Memorandum of Understanding with Chinese State Owned Enterprise SEPCOIII Electric Power Immunitor Inc., reported that company’s first proof-of-concept clinical study of its candidate cancer vaccine in patients with terminal stage of liver cancer has been presented at the immunology Burning coal for domestic heating may contribute to early fetal death according to a new study by experts from The Saban Research Institute of Children’s Hospital Los Angeles and Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia – the coldest capital city in the world. The bimonthly training classes in Chao Pinhole Gum Rejuvenation® are attracting doctors from around the world to be trained by Dr. Two-Theatre Deal Signals IMAX's Continued Worldwide Expansion; IMAX Now in 58 Countries NEW YORK, March 21, 2014 /PRNewswire/ -- IMAX Corporation (NYSE: IMAX; TSX: IMX) and GST Expands Its Global Market By Installing The WAFS-METLAB2(TM) Weather Workstation at the Mongolia Aviation Meteorological Center in Ulaan Bataar, Mongolia GREENBELT, Md., March The 13th century Mongolian conqueror Genghis Khan relied on hordes of Mongol warriors to expand his empire. Now it has been determined that Genghis was also aided by the favorable effects of climate change. - South Korean medical team gives a nose to a facially deformed young patient from Mongolia - SEOUL, South Korea, Feb. ESSEN, Germany, February 19, 2014 /PRNewswire/ -- Ferrostaal Industrial Projects GmbH, a project developer facilitating worldwide investments, is taking a majority stake The Mongolian death worm is a cryptid that is claimed to inhabit the Gobi Desert. It lives underground in hibernation except for the months of June and July. It will surface from its underground habitat when it rains and soaks the ground. It is alleged to kill its prey from a distance. It either sprays an acidic venom that dissolves anything it touches, or by an electrical discharge. According to legend, touching the worm will cause severe pain or instant death. Locals have claimed that... The Mongolian-Manchurian grassland ecoregion, known also as the Mongolian-Manchurian Steppe, located in the temperate grassland Biome, is found in Mongolia, the Chinese Autonomous region of Inner Mongolia and northeastern China. The grassland covers an area of 342,600 square miles. This Palearctic temperate grasslands, savannas, and shrublands ecoregion of the Temperate grasslands, savannas, and shrublands Biome, creates a large crescent around the Gobi Desert, stretching across central... The Asian badger or sand badger (Meles leucurus) is native to The Korean Peninsula, China, Kazakhstan, and Russia. Its range includes Mongolia and the Urals in the southeast portion of Russia. It prefers a habitat within open woodlands with deciduous vegetation next to pastures, but it will reside in steppe lands, scrublands, coniferous forests, and mixed woodlands. This badger species can be found at an elevation of up to 13,000 feet and is separated from the European badger by the Volga... Symbol: THMO10 Group: Lichen Family: Thrombiaceae Growth Habit: Lichenous Native Status: NA N Classification: Kingdom Fungi – Fungi Division Ascomycota – Sac fungi Class Ascomycetes Family Thrombiaceae Genus Thrombium Wallr. – thrombium lichen Species Thrombium mongolicum H. Magn. – Mongolia thrombium lichen Protoceratops, meaning “first horned face,” is a genus of herbivorous ceratopsian dinosaur from the Campanian stage of the Late Cretaceous Period (83 to 70 million years ago) in what is now Mongolia. The first specimen was discovered by photographer JB Shackelford in 1922 in the Gobi desert while working with an expedition looking for human ancestors. The photographer did not uncover any human remains but did find many specimens of fossilized Protoceratops, along with other dinosaurs of... - The word or words serving to define another word or expression, as in a dictionary entry.

Dave Shealy is the Jane Goodall of the Florida Everglades. Shealy has spent his entire life studying a smelly hominid cryptid known as the Skunk Ape, and has established the official Skunk Ape Research Headquarters in Ochopee, Florida. Here, Shealy conducts studies, investigates reports on sightings, and brings awareness to the elusive creature of the Everglades. Shealy is aware that the Skunk Ape -- like its alleged distant relative, Big Foot -- is considered by many to be a figment of imagination. The United States National Park Service even refers to the creature as nothing more than a "local myth." Despite the lack of serious attention paid to his cause, Shealy insists that there are 7-9 Skunk Apes currently living in the Everglades, and he has been working tirelessly to document their existence. The Skunk Ape earns its name for its unusual odor, which some have likened to the smell of rotting garbage, methane or, quite simply, skunks. Some researchers attribute the mammal's odor to its natural habitat of alligator dens "filled with swamp gas and animal cadavers," while others maintain that the smell is a result of their lack of bathing. Regardless, all Skunk Ape sightings have made reference to their distinct scent. According to Shealy, an average male Skunk Ape reportedly stands 6-7 feet tall and weighs roughly 450 lbs. Females are considerably smaller, standing only 5-6 feet tall and weighing only up to 250 lbs. Both sexes are covered in long, reddish or black hair -- similar to that of an Orangutan or Gorilla -- and stand upright on two legs. Castings made of their footprints have established four toes on each foot. Seasonal stool samples have indicated that their omnivorous diet consists of bird nestlings, wild hogs and native berries. Though there have been thousands of Big Foot-like sightings over the past few decades, almost all have been reported as spontaneous events. That is to say, most people who go out in search of hominid cryptids often do not find success. Such is not the case for Shealy, who has encountered three Skunk Ape sightings in the course of his field studies. Since his first sighting at the age of 10, Shealy has been documenting his methods on how to "bait" Skunk Apes. He has compiled these tips into his Everglades Skunk Ape Research Field Guide, which is sold both online and at the Ochopee headquarters. Such tips include instructions on properly "wetting" lima beans (a Skunk Ape's favorite treat), and a reminder to store deer liver on ice. Though Shealy has created Skunk Ape baiting tactics, he is vehemently opposed to the poaching or capturing of these mystical creatures. In fact, Shealy recommends that anyone who encounters a Skunk Ape should wait five days before publicizing their findings, so as to give the Skunk Ape sufficient time to leave the area. Additionally, Shealy has been featured on The Daily Show and various TLC and Travel Channel programs, where he has educated people on the Skunk Ape and the fragile ecosystem of the Everglades. Visitors to the Skunk Ape Research Headquarters can purchase Skunk Ape memorabilia and educational materials (complete with Shealy's own personal illustrations), as well as experience a reptile and exotic bird exhibition. Overnight stays are available on the campgrounds.

Posted by: Loren Coleman on June 24th, 2007 Daniel Loxton, editor of Junior Skeptic magazine, wrote to Cryptomundo on April 24, 2007: “It’s the Roe sketch that suggests itself most strongly as Patterson’s inspiration…” What do you think? This Willian Roe drawing was done in 1958 by his daughter from his description of what he said he saw in 1955 in British Columbia. Did any of you catch the curl on the brow of the Albert Ostman Old Woman drawing by Roger Patterson? That curly description by Ostman is the inspiration for Ivan Sanderson’s drawing of Sasquatch, and the Jim McClarin/Willow Creek Bigfoot statue’s browridge (above), as well. The closeup of the Roe drawing done by Kunstler in Sanderson’s 1961 ABSM book Was it the William Roe drawing by Morton Kunstler in True Magazine that actually serves as the model for the Bigfoot suit that no one has been able to locate, produce, or find? Kunstler’s illustration shows the hint of a breast, the almost classic Patterson-Gimlin swinging of the arms, and even the famous black line down the back. Or was William Roe describing a real unknown primate that is merely confirmed with the filming of a similar cryptid 12 years later? Please click to… Loren Coleman is one of the world’s leading cryptozoologists, some say “the” leading. Certainly, he is acknowledged as the current living American researcher and writer who has most popularized cryptozoology in the late 20th and early 21st centuries. Starting his fieldwork and investigations in 1960, after traveling and trekking extensively in pursuit of cryptozoological mysteries, Coleman began writing to share his experiences in 1969. An honorary member of Ivan T. Sanderson’s Society for the Investigation of the Unexplained in the 1970s, Coleman has been bestowed with similar honorary memberships of the North Idaho College Cryptozoology Club in 1983, and in subsequent years, that of the British Columbia Scientific Cryptozoology Club, CryptoSafari International, and other international organizations. He was also a Life Member and Benefactor of the International Society of Cryptozoology (now-defunct). Loren Coleman’s daily blog, as a member of the Cryptomundo Team, served as an ongoing avenue of communication for the ever-growing body of cryptozoo news from 2005 through 2013.

Lizard Man of Scape Ore Swamp Scape Ore Swamp |First reported||June 29, 1988| |Other name(s)||The Lizard Man Of Lee County| |Region||Lee County, South Carolina| The Lizard Man of Scape Ore Swamp (also known as the Lizard Man of Lee County) is a reptilian humanoid cryptid which is said to inhabit areas of swampland in and around Lee County, South Carolina along with the sewers and abandoned subways in towns near the swamp. The Lizard Man is generally described as being 7 feet (2.1 m) tall, bipedal, and bulky, covered in dark hair with scaly lizard-like skin on its hands, feet and face. It is said to have three toes on each foot and three fingers on each hand. The creature has an incredible degree of strength, more than capable of ripping into a car. A few witnesses have reported seeing a tail, although in the majority of cases, a tail was not seen. The first reported sighting of the horrifying creature was made by Christopher Davis, a 17 year old local, who said he encountered the creature while driving home from work at 2 AM on June 29, 1988. According to his account, Davis stopped on a road bordering Scape Ore Swamp in order to change a tire which had blown out. When he was finishing up he reported having heard a thumping noise from behind him and having turned around to see the creature running towards him. Davis said the creature tried to grab at the car and then jumped on its roof as he tried to escape, clinging on to it as Davis swerved from side to side in an effort to throw it off. After he returned home, Davis' side-view-mirror was found to be badly damaged, and scratch marks were found on the car's roof, though there was no other physical evidence of his encounter. - "I looked back and saw something running across the field towards me. It was about 25 yards away and I saw red eyes glowing. I ran into the car and as I locked it, the thing grabbed the door handle. I could see him from the neck down – the three big fingers, long black nails and green rough skin. It was strong and angry. I looked in my mirror and saw a blur of green running. I could see his toes and then he jumped on the roof of my car. I thought I heard a grunt and then I could see his fingers through the front windshield, where they curled around on the roof. I sped up and swerved to shake the creature off." Chris' father, prompted by a story that ran in the newspaper of a strange car mauling, brought his terrified son to the Lee County Sheriff's Office on July 16, 1988, at which time he told his story to Sheriff Liston Truesdale. Strange car mauling Prior to Chris Davis coming forward to report his encounter, the Lee County Sheriff's Office was called to the scene of a strange instance of vehicle damage. On the morning of July 14, 1988, deputies made their way to the residence, which was located in a small rural community known as Browntown on the outskirts of Bishopville, South Carolina. When they arrived, homeowners Tom and Mary Waye showed them the vehicle in question. Police found that the chrome molding had been torn away from the fenders, the sidewalls were scratched and dented, the hood ornament was broken, the antenna was bent, and even some wires from the motor had been ripped out. Upon closer inspection, it appeared that parts of the molding had actually been chewed, as if an animal had used its teeth to inflict the damage. To further support the animal theory, the Wayes pointed out clumps of reddish colored hair and muddy footprints that had been left all over the car. While Sheriff Truesdale was investigating the car, locals informed him there might yet be another, more bizarre possibility. “While we were there looking over this situation, we learned that people in the Browntown community had been seeing a strange creature about seven feet tall with red eyes,” Truesdale told us. “Some of them described it as green, but some of them as brown. They thought it might be responsible for what happened [to the car].” In the month that followed the Davis sighting there were several further reports of a large lizard like creature, and of unusual scratches and bite marks found on cars parked close to the swamp. Most of these are said to have occurred within a 3 mile (5 km) radius of the swamps of Bishopville. At the time, local law enforcement officials reacted to reports of the Lizard Man with a mixture of concern and skepticism, stating that a sufficient number of sightings had been made by apparently reliable people for them to believe that something tangible was being seen, but also that it was more likely to be a bear than a Lizard Man. Two weeks after the Davis sighting, the sheriff's department made several plaster casts of what appeared to be three-toed footprints – measuring some 14 inches (36 cm) in length – but decided against sending them on to the FBI for further analysis after biologists advised them that they were unclassifiable. According to South Carolina Marine Resources Department spokesperson Johnny Evans the tracks neither matched, nor could be mistaken for, the footprints of any recorded animal. Evans also dismissed the possibility that they could have been made by some form of mutated creature. The sightings attracted tourists interested in seeing the creature and hunters interested in tracking it, and nearby radio station WCOS offered a $1 million reward to anybody who could capture the creature alive. However, reports of the creature began to decline at the end of the summer with the last credible sighting of the year being reported in July. On August 5 Kenneth Orr, an airman stationed at Shaw Air Force Base, filed a report with the police saying that he had encountered the Lizard Man on highway 15, and that he had shot and wounded it. He presented several scales and a small quantity of blood as evidence. Orr recanted this account two days later when he was arraigned for unlawfully carrying a pistol, and the misdemeanor offense of filing a false police report. According to Orr, he had invented the sighting in order to keep stories about the Lizard Man in circulation. On July 30, 1990, Bertha Blythers and her five children witnessed a strange creature near Scape Ore Swamp as they drove home from a restaurant in Bishopville. At approximately 10:30 p.m., they crossed over the interstate and were nearing the intersection of Hickory Hill Road when suddenly a large figure appeared out of nowhere and lunged toward the passenger side of the car. In a statement given to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office, Bertha described the creature as being tall, wide, and having “two arms like a human.” She could only see it from the waist up, but there was no question that it was “big.” She was not able to make out any clear facial details in the short time it was in front of her, but she was quite sure the body was covered in brown hair. “I never seen anything like it before,” she told the police. “It wasn’t a deer or a bear. It was definitely not a person either.” In July 2005, the Lizard Man "reappeared" in television promotions for the South Carolina Education Lottery. In October 2005, a woman in Newberry, South Carolina reported to the police that she had seen two creatures resembling the Lizard Man outside her home. The responding officer, Michael Kennedy, apparently amused, told the woman that the creatures "just like to check on humans from time to time." In February 2008, a couple in Bishopville, South Carolina, Bob and Dixie Rawson, reported strange damage to their vehicle, traces of blood, and the disappearance of some of their cats. Based on how the damage looks, some have claimed that this is the "return" of the Lizard Man. The blood traces from the Rawsons' vehicle were sent to a Veterinary lab in California and were found to be from a domestic dog. Lee County Sheriff E.J. Melvin believes it was a coyote or wolf. Soon after the incident at the Rawsons' home, Lee County Sheriff E.J. Melvin discovered a dead cow and a dead coyote in a field next to the Rawsons' home. Interviews with Lizard Man witnesses can be seen on History.com's MonsterQuest Videos/Cold Cases page. That same episode showed that three hundred pounds of torque would have to have been exerted by the alleged dog to cause that much damage to the Rawsons' car fender, making it highly unlikely that the damage could have been inflicted by a stray canine (not without losing a considerable amount of teeth). As Destination Truth noted, the Lizard Man has become the focus of extensive local merchandising. The Lee County Chamber of Commerce hosts a Lizard Man 5k run and sells "Lizard Man" shirts and a "Lizard Patrol" shirt. In 2011, Bishopville, South Carolina residents, Leon and Ada Marshall, reported that their car had been mauled by some kind of animal. Former Lee County Sheriff stated that the damage on the car looks much like the damage from earlier incidents. Deputy Fletcher Williams inspected the car and surmised that teeth were responsible for the damage, as if the car had been “chewed up.” To further suggest that an animal had been the vandal, a clear trail of saliva was visible from “the front passenger door across the front of the vehicle to the driver door” and on the discarded strips of bumper material. He also found long white and brown hairs. In 2013, the Lizard Man story was featured on the television show Mysteries at the Museum. In 2014, the Chris Davis' Lizard Man sighting was re-enacted on the television show Monsters and Mysteries in America. In July 2014, a story regarding the Lizard Man sightings was mentioned during Ancient Aliens on History Channel's network H2. Lizard Man: The True Story of the Bishopville Monster The complete story of the Bishopville Lizard Man is told in this book by Lyle Blackburn. The book, published in 2013, covers the history of the Lizard Man sightings and examines popular theories regarding the true identity of this strange creature. - The Washington Post (1988-08-14) "'Lizard Man' Claims a Casualty", The Washington Post - Horswell, Cindy (1989-07-1989) "'Lizard Man' legend , kicking", Houston Chronicle - Milligan, Stephen (1988-08-07) "Sightings of a monster lizard from the swamp has struck terror into a small community in South Carolina", The Sunday Times. - "Sumter man killed; 'discovered' Lizard Man". The State. 2009-06-24. Retrieved 2009-06-26.[dead link] - San Francisco Chronicle (1988-08-02) "Youth Who Saw 'Lizard Man' Gets an Agent", San Francisco Chronicle - Horswell, Cindy (1989-07-30) "Lizard man leaves mark/Tale still told in sleepy S.C. town", Houston Chronicle - Blackburn, Lyle (2013). Lizard Man: The True Story of the Bishopville Monster. San Antonio, TX: Anomalist Books. ISBN 978-1-938-39816-2. - Horswell, Cindy (1988-07-31) "On a scale of one to 10, it rates a downright scary 11/Leapin' lizards! Is that brute for real?", Houston Chronicle - Houston Chronicle (1988-08-13) "To keep a monstrous legend alive/Man admits lying about Lizard Man", Houston Chronicle - "Police Log" Newberry Observer, October 5, 2005 - "CNN.com Video". CNN. Retrieved 2010-05-11. - [dead link] - WIS News 10 – Columbia, South Carolina | Dead cow, coyote found near site of "Lizard Man" mystery - "Ghost of Petra/The Lizard Man," Destination Truth, aired April 14, 2010. - "Is the Lizard Man Back in Lee County? | Video". wltx.com. Retrieved 2013-04-22.

Skepticism via YouTube In the summer of 2008, Georgians Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer claimed to have found a Bigfoot carcass. These claims were initially made via a number of YouTube videos that garnered significant attention in the cryptid community. In August 2008, they partnered with well-known cryptozoology personality Tom Biscardi for a national press conference. Almost immediately the carcass was revealed as a hoax involving a Halloween costume. But a month earlier, rival Bigfoot enthusiasts and skeptics had carefully pored over one of Whitton and Dyer’s promotional videos on YouTube (“Bigfoot Tracker Video 8”) in which they met an alleged Texas scientist named Paul Van Buren who said he would authenticate the carcass (Bigfootpolice 2008). Sharp-eyed viewers quickly determined that “Van Buren” was actually Whitton’s brother, a wedding photographer from Texas, and even found pictures online of the two together at one of their weddings (Coleman 2008). The video was pulled off the Web and acknowledged by the hoaxers as a fake days later in another video. Whitton and Dyer said the video was an attempt to distract people who were harassing them. (They did not explain how a hoaxed video would accomplish such a thing.) This all happened weeks before the national press conference. Those who followed the whole fiasco from the beginning via YouTube were not surprised when the hoax was finally revealed nationally weeks later. YouTube might seem an unlikely venue for skeptical investigations. The online video site originated as a way for individuals to easily share videos online without having to deal with technical issues like file formats and software compatibility. YouTube gained fame through a series of “viral” videos of various ephemera such as laughing babies, stunts gone wrong, adorable kittens, and so on. It hardly seemed a good venue for skepticism in those early days. But like most new tools, uses far beyond those initially anticipated were soon discovered. The availability of low-cost video cameras and editing software means that video production is now something that many hobbyists can attempt at home. Purchased by Google in 2006, YouTube is now home to hundreds of millions of videos and serves over a hundred million individual video views per day. Google claims that over thirteen hours of new content is uploaded on YouTube every minute (Google 2008). Many skeptical organizations now use YouTube to distribute video content to the public. Videos of the James Randi Educational Foundation’s July 2009 test of dowser Connie Sonne for their Million Dollar Challenge, among other videos, can be found on JREF’s own channel (JREF 2008). The Skeptical Inquirer’s parent organization, the Center for Inquiry, also has its own YouTube channel (see figure 1) with hundreds of lectures, debates, and other videos. It is often rated in the top ten most viewed nonprofit channels on the site (Center for Inquiry 2006). These are fantastic educational resources for both skeptics and the general public. The site has always been friendly toward individuals as well as organizations, and individual skeptics have fittingly stepped forward to create content. Richard Wiseman used YouTube videos to promote and support his book Quirkology by demonstrating optical illusions and other psychological effects (Wiseman 2009). His video “Amazing Colour Changing Card Trick” has been viewed over three million times and has even been redone by several other YouTube users (Wiseman 2007; see related story). Phil “The Bad Astronomer” Plait has a channel as well, where he posts his own special mix of skepticism and astronomy (Plait 2009). Some of the most interesting aspects of skepticism on YouTube do not come from organizations or professional skeptics but are occurring at the grassroots level between individual users. Simple, short videos debunking paranormal or pseudoscientific concepts, when created with cleverness and good visuals, can be very effective. One example, “Bigfoot Myths: Where are the Bones?” addresses the simple question: Why have we never found Bigfoot bones? (Doctor Atlantis 2007). Resources like this can easily be hyperlinked from discussions of the topic online or even embedded directly into posts on other Web sites. They help to explain key scientific concepts using visuals instead of words alone (in this case, photos of actual bear bones and interview footage with a cryptozoologist). Aside from the general availability of the service and the fact that it is free, there are two other key elements that help maintain the grassroots skepticism phenomenon on YouTube: the fair use clause in U.S. copyright law and the explorative nature of the YouTube user interface. Figure 2: Captain Disillusion Fair use is vital to the very existence of YouTube. The law holds that it is legal to reuse small portions of copyrighted material, even without the owner’s permission, for comment, criticism, or parody (Stanford 2007). This allows skeptics to freely post online videos that include portions of the pseudoscientific or religious videos they are debunking. The Uri Geller videos posted by YouTube user The Friendly Skeptic are a good example. By implicitly invoking fair use, The Friendly Skeptic can post small broadcast clips from programs in which Geller’s conjuring and trickery is plainly visible. In one he shows quite clearly where Geller puts on a false thumb tip just prior to making a magnetic compass move ostensibly by paranormal means (The Friendly Skeptic 2007). When, in another video from an older talk show, Geller bends a spoon using a decidedly nonpsychic technique (i.e., his hand), the exact moment is highlighted (The Friendly Skeptic 2008). Another creative use of this method is employed by putative superhero Captain Disillusion (portrayed by actor and filmmaker Alan Melikdjanian; see figure 2). As Captain Disillusion, Melikdjanian humorously deconstructs the very viral videos that make YouTube so successful by explaining the digital editing techniques used in their creation (Captain Disillusion 2007). Many of these are simply viral advertising but others cover skeptical topics. Captain Disillusion debunked the November 2007 “Blue Ghost” incident at a Parma, Ohio, gas station, re-editing the news coverage to clearly show the actual cause: a bug on the camera lens (Captain Disillusion 2008). There were other, more scientific YouTube debunks of this incident as well; an excellent example included hypotheses, predictions, and conclusions (Answers in Skepticism 2007). The skeptical movement online has flourished in part because of YouTube’s site design. It is in Google’s own interest to keep users on the site as long as possible since their revenue comes from advertising. The site is designed to encourage exploration with features that link videos together via “responses,” add hyperlinks between videos, and mark a video with a world location so it can be found within mapping services (see figure 3). These features allow skeptics to make their content more discoverable from within the site and elsewhere. Debunking videos, for instance, can be posted as responses that are directly linked to (and therefore discoverable from) the original pseudoscientific content. This technique has been used in responses to the Georgia Bigfoot hoaxers, in Captain Disillusion’s videos, and elsewhere. This explorability of YouTube helps address a key question often asked among online skeptics: Where should we focus our efforts? Many skeptics post almost exclusively on skeptic-run Web sites, forums, or blogs. The obvious disadvantage is that one often ends up “preaching to the choir.” The alternative posting on Web sites run by believers in pseudoscience or paranormal has its own hazards. Often these sites are not interested in debate and will delete skeptical posts or even ban skeptics from posting entirely. By posting material on YouTube and making the content as discoverable as possible, skeptics avoid both issues. The content can still be embedded or hyperlinked from skeptic sites as desired, but it can also be found by many more people via the YouTube site directly. This helps get the skeptical message out to those who most need it. Figure 3: Example of a skeptical YouTube video being discovered via a mapping application. One of the most visible uses of the YouTube discoverability and response format are the creationism-related videos posted by users VenomFangX and ThunderF00t (VenomFangX 2006; Thunderf00t 2006). VenomFangX is the online handle of Shawn, a Christian teenager who posted a series of videos in which he claims to debunk evolution. YouTube user Thunderf00t (an adult academic) responds to each of the teen’s videos and answers them point by point in the series “Why do people laugh at creationists?” The entire exchange lasted for almost two years. Thunderf00t also addressed the claims of other evolution deniers in the series, such as Casey Luskin of the Discovery Institute and evangelist Ray Comfort. Each video (over thirty in all) received at least 100,000 views, and some have been seen nearly half a million times (Thunderf00t 2009). The Thunderf00t versus VenomFangX exchange also highlights one of the current pitfalls of U.S. Copyright law: the application of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) Takedown Notices. This is a clause in the DMCA under which copyright owners who believe their work is being infringed upon (beyond fair use) via the Internet can merely notify the carrier to remove the material. On December 9, 2008, someone claiming to be a third party acting on behalf of VenomFangX contacted YouTube claiming that Thunderf00t’s videos violated copyright. Two videos were restricted as a result. Thunderf00t issued a counterclaim, and a very public war of words ensued between the two parties (Thunderf00t 2008). The issue was resolved when VenomFangX’s parents became aware of his activities. He withdrew the DMCA claims, apologized, and temporarily stopped posting. False DMCA claims and other digital shenanigans continue to be a problem for skeptics on YouTube. According to Thunderf00t, creationists hurt his videos’ rankings in the YouTube rating system by using automated scripts to send thousands of negative votes to each of his videos. The comments system provided by YouTube is also somewhat hit or miss. Occasionally some videos will attract reasonable commentators, but most of the time the comments aren’t much better than digital graffiti. (The problem is so rampant on YouTube that a number of third-party software tools have been designed solely to “clean out” undesirable comments from YouTube pages.) Overall, however, YouTube is an excellent avenue for skeptical outreach on the Internet. Its ease of use and lack of fees lower the barrier of entry so almost any skeptic can participate. Fair use ensures a steady stream of source material to debunk. The high traffic of the site and its explorability make the skeptical message accessible to people who may not even be aware of organized skepticism. Any skeptic with minimal audiovisual editing skills should consider YouTube an outlet for their efforts. l - Answers In Skepticism. 2007. Blue gas station ghost explained. November 23. Available online. - Bigfootpolice. 2008. Bigfoot tracker video 8. July 20. Available online. - Captain Disillusion. 2007. Captain Disillusion’s YouTube Channel. Available online. - —. 2008. Gas station ghost recut. Available online. - Center for Inquiry. 2006. Center for Inquiry’s YouTube Channel. Available online. - Coleman, Loren. 2008. Bigfoot body brouhaha. July 23. Available online. - Doctor Atlantis. 2008. Bigfoot myths: Where are the bones? Available online. - The Friendly Skeptic. 2008. Uri Geller bends a spoon with his hand! May 22. Available online. - —. 2007. The moment Uri Geller cheats . . . watch the thumb. April 2. Available online. - Google. 2008. The future of online video. September 16. Available online. - The James Randi Educational Foundation. 2008. James Randi Foundation’s YouTube Channel. Available online. - Plait, Phil. 2006. The Bad Astronomer’s YouTube Channel. Available online. - Stanford University Library. 2007. What is fair use? Available online. - Thunderf00t. 2006. Thunderf00t’s YouTube Channel. Available online. - —. 2008. False DMCA consequences. Available online. - —. 2009. Why do people laugh at creationists? Thunderf00t’s YouTube Channel. Available online. - VenomFangX. 2006. VenomFangX’s YouTube Channel. Available online. - Wiseman, Richard. 2007. Quirkology YouTube Channel. Available online.

Posted by: Craig Woolheater on February 16th, 2010 Courtesy International Cryptozoology Museum. The story about quatchi (which included some quotes from me) as it appeared on the wires (and susequently published on this website) may have been taken a little out of context. Please let me say up front that I am thrilled to bits that a cryptid is an official Olympic mascot as it raises awareness of sasquatch and other cryptids. Please also let me unreservedly apologise to anyone, especially any Canadians who were upset by the story. I have visited Canada on many occasions and find its people and in particular it’s cryptid research community the friendliest and most helpful in the world. All I was intending with my quotes in the story was to express my surprise that quatchi was chosen as a mascot because when I think of winter sports -I think of leaner more agile athletes (and hence mascots). Maybe its just because us Aussies know so little about the winter Olympics given we have so little snow here, but again apologies if my comments were taken out of context. Now, where can I buy a quatchi toy? RegardsTim the Yowie Man Co-founder of Cryptomundo in 2005. I have appeared in or contributed to the following TV programs, documentaries and films: OLN's Mysterious Encounters: "Caddo Critter", Southern Fried Bigfoot, Travel Channel's Weird Travels: "Bigfoot", History Channel's MonsterQuest: "Swamp Stalker", The Wild Man of the Navidad, Destination America's Monsters and Mysteries in America: Texas Terror - Lake Worth Monster, Animal Planet's Finding Bigfoot: Return to Boggy Creek and Beast of the Bayou.

Posted by: Loren Coleman on March 27th, 2008 Bo Rader/The Wichita Eagle Kansas Department of Wildlife and Parks game warden Tracy Galvin displays the pelt of a mountain lion that was killed in Barber County last November . Galvin has been investigating the rumor that a mountain lion had been killed in Kansas for the past several weeks. This is probably the first confirmed wild mountain lion in Kansas in over 100 years. Charges are pending against the individual who killed the lion. This incident raises many questions about the probable treatment of any individual who decides to “prove” the existence of an “unbelievable” cryptid, like a Mystery Cat or a Bigfoot, by shooting it. No wonder that in the three alleged cases of “black panthers” being killed in the South, all three shooters buried the felid bodies because they were afraid they might have broken some laws. Same goes for various Sasquatch stories in the past. As many of you know, I do not condone the “kill Bigfoot” approach, but I certainly am not in support of setting up a situation in which all the evidence always disappears because of legal fears. It’s a paradox as to what to do. ~ Loren Mountain lion killed in Kansas by Michael Pearce/The Wichita Eagle Medicine Lodge – The long-standing debate about the presence of wild mountain lions in Kansas appears to be over. For the first time in more than 100 years, state wildlife officials think they have confirmation of such an animal. Tracy Galvin, a state Department of Wildlife and Parks game warden, took possession Monday of a mountain lion pelt shot west of Medicine Lodge in November. A Barber County resident said he shot the catwhile cutting wood on his property. Galvin said the man saw the mountain lion nearby, walked to his truck, grabbed a rifle and shot it. Charges are pending since it’s illegal to shoot a mountain lion in Kansas “unless it’s a threat to life or property,” Galvin said. Galvin started investigating local rumors of the cat killing about three weeks ago. The landowner admitted to the shooting and arranged to have the pelt returned from a Texas taxidermist, Galvin said. He told Galvin he had previously seen big cats in the area. Matt Peek, a furbearer biologist for Wildlife and Parks, described the event as substantial. While it’s believed the cat was wild, DNA testing will be done to see if it came from wild or domestic stock. Biologists say there’s no need for Kansans to fear for their safety. The cats are known to be reclusive and contact with humans is rare. Reports of big cats in Kansas have been coming since the last one was killed in the western part of the state in 1904. While reported sightings have numbered in the thousands, Peek said proof has been nonexistent. He and a number of biologists have followed leads but haven’t found such solid evidence as tracks, droppings, a carcass or hair. For about 15 years, Bob Wilson of Garden City has scoured the western half of Kansas placing infrared cameras in areas where big cats have been reported, using road-kill deer for bait. He said after “countless” camera placements, “I got a number of very interesting bobcat shots, tons of coyotes and deer, but as for mountain lions… zero.” Kansas has come close a few times, like trail camera pictures of out-of-focus tan animals and piles of feces originally identified as mountain lion, only to have the lab testing come into question. Last summer, an Audubon of Kansas Web site posted what it claimed was proof, though trained biologists who looked at the fuzzy photos and plaster casts of tracks said neither were of a lion. Several mountain lions captured or killed proved to be released or escaped captive animals. All around us Neighboring states have plenty of proof of wild lions. Peek said there’s a healthy population in a rugged part of southeast Colorado within 80 miles of the Kansas border. Studies have shown that male mountain lions, like the one killed in Barber County, routinely range that far to establish a territory. Nebraska has about 50 confirmations, with most coming since 2004. Their cats have been traced to a growing population in South Dakota’s Black Hills. Missouri has about 10 confirmations, including a road kill within a few miles of Kansas. Among others, in 2004 Oklahoma authorities found a lion hit by a train about 40 miles south of the Kansas state line. It was wearing a tracking collar from South Dakota. “We’ve never said we didn’t have any because of the likelihood a few have been through the state,” Peek said. “This is just the first one that happened to get killed that we’re aware of so we can verify it.” Had the shooter known the law, Kansas might still be without a confirmation. “When I told him it was against the law to shoot one, his eyes really bugged out,” Galvin said. “I really don’t think he knew it was illegal.” Because he’s been “super-cooperative,” Galvin said, he doesn’t plan to press felony charges of taking an illegally killed animal across state lines. Penalties for conviction of shooting a protected species and possessing a protected species each carry fines up to $500 and up to one year in jail. The Barber County kill also doesn’t mean there’s a thriving population. Mark Dowling, along with Wilson, founded the Cougar Network in 2002 to study mountain lions in nontraditional areas. “When you are in mountain lion country you’re lucky to see one or two in your life, but you can find lion tracks and signs everywhere. It’s not hard,” he said. “If Kansas had a population, (verifiable) signs and tracks should be easy to find. But they’re not.” Loren Coleman is one of the world’s leading cryptozoologists, some say “the” leading. Certainly, he is acknowledged as the current living American researcher and writer who has most popularized cryptozoology in the late 20th and early 21st centuries. Starting his fieldwork and investigations in 1960, after traveling and trekking extensively in pursuit of cryptozoological mysteries, Coleman began writing to share his experiences in 1969. An honorary member of Ivan T. Sanderson’s Society for the Investigation of the Unexplained in the 1970s, Coleman has been bestowed with similar honorary memberships of the North Idaho College Cryptozoology Club in 1983, and in subsequent years, that of the British Columbia Scientific Cryptozoology Club, CryptoSafari International, and other international organizations. He was also a Life Member and Benefactor of the International Society of Cryptozoology (now-defunct). Loren Coleman’s daily blog, as a member of the Cryptomundo Team, served as an ongoing avenue of communication for the ever-growing body of cryptozoo news from 2005 through 2013.

Beneath those depths lay a far greater menace beyond the imaginings of any Starbucks hipster. Nearly every year, someone ends up drowning at the lake. Bodies are rarely recovered by authorities. Park Rangers chalk it up to bad luck, and ill-prepared tourists, but Native Americans know the score. Once upon a time, a Paiute boy fell in love with a mermaid from the California coast. Bursting with pride, he brought her home to meet the tribe, only to be rejected because she was a weird cryptid-fae monster. Understandably upset, she cursed the waters. Evidence of her spite arose not too long after the rejection. A serpent slithered out from the lake, ate a kid, and took on its form, as was the fashion at the time. When the mother returned to feed her baby, it was like Soviet Russia where baby eats you! To save her life, the medicine man made a deal with this devil, allowing it to dwell in those waters if it let the young mother go. So begins the tale of the water babies. These malign water spirits can be heard by visitors, but natives warn the palefaces, “If you hear it, it’s bad news; if you see it, you’re dead!”1 One of the other legends haunting these waters regards the Stone Mother. Once a mere mortal, infatuated with the Great Father she murdered her husband so she could stalk her one and only love. Strangely enough, probably because he was a god, Great Father wasn’t creeped out, they fell in love, and it wasn’t long before they were blessed with many children. The oldest son was an asshole, constantly picking on his siblings. At wit’s end, the Great Father scattered them far and wide so he could have some peace and quiet at long last. The kids ended up founding their own tribes, but upon returning to their homeland, the feuding started all over again. Stunned, their mother wept ’til her tears filled the lake. She sat in the same place so long that she turned to stone, still sitting there to this day.2 Next time you’re futzing with your iPad, consider changing your device’s wallpaper. Heaven forbid your Angry Birds session is interrupted by the eerie cooing of a demonic baby. Should you survive, consider telling us about it on our Facebook page, at Twitter, or in the comments below!

Watch Reggie Watts make music with Nick Kroll Reggie Watts makes beautiful music with Nick Kroll El Chupacabra is a fearsome creature who has been terrifying people and their livestock for centuries. The fiendish beast roams from Mexico to Puerto Rico to the southwestern United States to suck the blood of goats and terrify the unlucky people who witness its terrible acts. No one is quite sure what the evil cryptid looks like, but most agree that it is bigger than a bear, has matted hair, may wear a dashiki, and bears an eerie resemblance to comedian Nick Kroll. Don’t believe us? Well Comedy Bang! Bang! one-man house band Reggie Watts has seen the beast with his own eyes and lived to tell the tale. Actually he wrote a song about it. Watch Reggie and Nick make beautiful music together and then tune in to Comedy Bang! Bang! on Friday at 10/9c: Comedy Bang! Bang! airs on IFC on Fridays at 10/9cTags: Comedy, Comedy Bang! Bang!, Nick Kroll, Reggie Makes Music, Reggie Watts - Most Replied - Most Liked

List of Pokémon (202–251) |This article needs additional citations for verification. (December 2007)| The Pokémon (ポケモン Pokemon?) franchise has 720 (as of the release of Pokémon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire) distinctive fictional species classified as the titular Pokémon. This is a selected listing of fifty of the Pokémon species, originally found in the Gold and Silver versions, arranged as they are in the main game series' National Pokédex. - 1 Wobbuffet - 2 Girafarig - 3 Pineco - 4 Forretress - 5 Dunsparce - 6 Gligar - 7 Steelix - 8 Snubbull - 9 Granbull - 10 Qwilfish - 11 Scizor - 12 Shuckle - 13 Heracross - 14 Sneasel - 15 Teddiursa - 16 Ursaring - 17 Slugma - 18 Magcargo - 19 Swinub - 20 Piloswine - 21 Corsola - 22 Remoraid - 23 Octillery - 24 Delibird - 25 Mantine - 26 Skarmory - 27 Houndour - 28 Houndoom - 29 Kingdra - 30 Phanpy - 31 Donphan - 32 Porygon2 - 33 Stantler - 34 Smeargle - 35 Tyrogue - 36 Hitmontop - 37 Smoochum - 38 Elekid - 39 Magby - 40 Miltank - 41 Blissey - 42 Raikou - 43 Entei - 44 Suicune - 45 Larvitar - 46 Pupitar - 47 Tyranitar - 48 Lugia - 49 Ho-Oh - 50 Celebi - 51 References |Number: 202||Type: Psychic||Evolves from: Wynaut||Evolves into: None| Wobbuffet (ソーナンス Sōnansu), known as the Patient Pokémon and known as Sonans in Japan, is a stiff, blue, balloon-shaped Pokémon with a pair of stubby feet and a black tail that looks like it has eyes. In the Japanese Pokémon anime and movies, Wobbuffet is often seen putting a hand to its forehead and shouting "Soooooonansu!" (which was translated also for the English adaptation, where it says "Woooooobbuffet!"). It is voiced by Yuji Ueda in Japan, and Kayzie Rogers in the English dub. Wobbuffet hates light and shock, so it lives in the quiet darkness of caves and only comes out at night. If attacked, it inflates its body to bolster its ability to counter-attack using the moves Counter and Mirror Coat, rather than offensive battling like most other Pokémon, for it will not attack on its own. It does nothing but endure attacks in this fashion, suggesting Wobbuffet either has an inability to tolerate aggressive behavior on its part, or it is simply built to withstand attacks. However, it will not endure an attack on its valued, sensitive tail. When that happens, the Pokémon will try to take the foe with it using Destiny Bond. To keep its pitch-black tail hidden from the sight of potential attackers, it lives in black caves and atmospheres as described above. According to GamesRadar, Wobbuffet is "based on a Japanese comedian verbatim". As of Generation IV, the female Wobbuffet appears to have lipstick on her lips while the male does not. In the Pokémon anime, Jessie obtained a male Wobbuffet after she accidentally exchanged her Lickitung for it in the episode Tricks of the Trade, and it became a recurring Pokémon in the series. Wobbuffet has a habit of popping out of its Poké Ball at inopportune times without being called, including at the end of Team Rocket's motto. In the Super Smash Bros. series, Wobbuffet is a Pokémon summon, using Counter to attack players (regardless of who threw the Poké Ball). |Number: 203||Type: Normal/Psychic||Does not evolve| Girafarig (キリンリキ Kirinriki) is a herbivore that resembles a giraffe. It is yellow with dark brown spots for the front half, while the back half is dark brown with yellow spots. The back section is smaller on the females. Most notably, the end of Girafarig's tail has a simplistic head. The head has a small brain of its own, but can only rely on instinct. If a person gets near the head, it reacts to the person's scent and bites. The head doesn't need to sleep, so it watches over its surroundings twenty four hours a day. Girafarig's name is a palindrome in both English and Japanese, although the Japanese name's palindromic nature is not evident in Romanized form. Girafarig's first anime appearance was in The Psychic Sidekicks where it was owned by a girl named Cherry. It later reappeared in the Diamond and Pearl series in the episode Gone With the Windworks!, where it was under the ownership of Lyra. It has also appeared in Spell of the Unown. IGN's Jack DeVries included Girafarig on his list of "Do Not Want" Pokémon. He joked that "his mom was a giraffe and his dad was a Chain Chomp from Super Mario Bros 3" and that he hasn't "been this weirded out since I saw that show about that man in China with the extra face growing out of the side of his real face". IGN's Pokémon Chick wrote that was awesome for having a "posterior sports a second, wickedly fanged head" and that "the first time that thing's arse hissed at me in Pokémon Stadium 2 I must admit I was a tad intimidated". She also made a comparison of its second head to the Chain Chomp and wrote "I do heartily recommend that you give Girafarig a chance". GamePro 's McKinley Noble wrote that Girafarig was the representative "circus freak" Pokémon for Gold and Silver. Destructoid's Jim Sterling listed Girafarig as one of the six things that bothers him about Pokémon and wrote about it "I mean honestly ... what the Hell?". |Number: 204||Type: Bug||Evolves from: None||Evolves into: Forretress| Pineco (クヌギダマ Kunugidama) is a bagworm that resembles a pine cone in appearance. It is usually inactive, hanging from forest trees, where it waits for its prey of small flying insects to come to it. Pineco are capable of spitting out a sticky liquid that hardens when exposed to air. This has multiple uses, an example being Pineco using it to glue pieces of bark to themselves for protection, making them bigger and their hide more durable, much like the bagworm in real life. Like Voltorb and Electrode, Pineco explodes when startled or annoyed. In the Pokémon anime, Brock catches a Pineco in the episode Goin' Apricorn! to save it from Jessie's Arbok. It often explodes, no matter what its mood is, but it loses this habit later on when it evolves into a Forretress. |Number: 205||Type: Bug/Steel||Evolves from: Pineco||Evolves into: None| Forretress (フォレトス Foretosu) is a bagworm as classified by the Pokédex, but its true appearance is unknown because it is always hidden inside a steel shell, the only visible part inside being its eyes. The shell itself has two parts: inner and outer. The inner shell is brick red and features four protrusions that look like small cannons. The outer shell is gray and pockmarked, like the surface of the moon. Forretress opens its shell only when it is catching prey, but it does so at such a quick pace that it is impossible to discern the nature of what lies inside, much less attack it while it is unprotected. Forretress can also shoot out bits of the shell for offensive purposes. In the Pokémon anime, Brock's Pineco evolves into a Forretress in the episode Entei At Your Own Risk. It is notable for being the only Pokémon he brought with him to Hoenn, and he has since left it at the gym in his hometown of Pewter City. |Number: 206||Type: Normal||Does not evolve| Dunsparce (ノコッチ Nokocchi) is a land snake based on the tsuchinoko, a legendary snake-like cryptid from Japan. It has a yellow hourglass-shaped body, two tiny wings on its sides, a drill for a tail, and two spikes under its chin. Its underbelly is blue, as are the markings on its back. Dunsparce lives in caves and deep underground in nests of complex design. Its rudimentary wings enable it to hover above the ground, providing it with an alternate method of motion besides crawling. Despite these wings and bug-like appearance, Dunsparce is solely a Normal-type Pokémon. In Pokémon Gold and Silver, the debut games of Dunsparce, this Pokémon was rarely found on a normal basis (hence the word sparse in its name). However, occasionally a swarm of Dunsparce would appear in Dunsparce's normal habitat, raising its appearance rate from under 10% to over 50%. A GamesRadar staff member chose Dunsparce as one of his favorite Pokémon that is not good competitively; he added that training it was a "huge waste of time". He felt it should have been given an evolution. Nevertheless, Dunsparce's Serene Grace ability paired with flinching moves like Headbutt, Rock Slide, and Bite allows it to win matches purely by luck. |Number: 207||Type: Ground/Flying||Evolves from: None||Evolves into: Gliscor| Gligar (グライガー Guraigā, Gliger in original Japanese language versions) is a purple scorpion that is able to glide from a leathery membrane it has that functions as wings. Gligar makes its home on steep cliffs. When it spots prey, it lets go of the cliff's face, spreads its wings and glides silently and effortlessly towards its target, as if it were sliding. This catches its victim by surprise when it flies straight to its face. It then uses its claws and pincers to secure its hold on the opponent's face and injects it with poison from its tail barb to paralyze the prey. It is the first Flying-type Pokémon that is unaffected by Electric-type attacks. In the Pokémon Diamond and Pearl series, its new evolved form has been introduced as Gliscor. |Number: 208||Type: Steel/Ground||Evolves from: Onix||Evolves into: None| Steelix (ハガネール Haganēru) is a large serpentine Pokémon that has a steel body with several spikes and a large jaw. The male has two spikes on each side of its jaw while the female only has one spike on each side. It is said that an Onix evolves into Steelix when one lives to be 100 or more, then the pressures exercised on its stone body become so high that it is compressed into a composition harder than diamond, although evolution is actually achieved by attaching a Metal Coat to Onix and trading it. Steelix continues to burrow underground like it did as an Onix, but it reaches far greater depths, reaching records of up to 0.6 miles (900 metres) while heading for the Earth's core. IGN named Steelix the 80th best Pokémon species by IGN users. IGN's Audrey Blake wrote that while she was skeptical of the idea of Onix having an evolution due to her affinity to it (particularly the character Brock's Onix in the anime) and a worry that she wouldn't like it as well. She eventually found it to be "definitely good enough to accept as a legitimate evolution" though not "quite as classic as good ole Onix". IGN's Pokémon Chick stated that it was a favourite among trainers due to its high defense. She later wrote that it was "horrible-yet-grossly-overused-anyway". Author Ash Dekirk wrote that Steelix resembles a "great wurm" of steel. |Number: 209||Type: Fairy||Evolves from: None||Evolves into: Granbull| Snubbull (ブルー Burū, Bull) is a pink, blue spotted, bipedal canine that resembles a bulldog. Despite its rather intimidating appearance, Snubbull has a playful and affectionate personality, similar to the real-life bulldog, which makes it a popular pet among the women of the Pokémon world. Another of Snubbull's personality traits is its cowardice, which it tries to hide behind a gruff exterior. If it feels threatened, Snubbull can bare its fangs and make its appearance intentionally intimidating to terrorize smaller and/or weaker Pokémon into running away. However, Snubbull has also been observed to be a little sad at driving away potential friends like this. |Number: 210||Type: Fairy||Evolves from: Snubbull||Evolves into: None| Granbull (グランブル Guranburu) is a large, purple, bipedal bulldog with a pair of imposing, heavy fangs protruding from its lower jaw. The lower jaw is quite developed and, taken together with the fangs, heavy enough that Granbull must constantly decide between tipping its head back for balance and tilting its head down for decreased energy exertion. As its large mouth and fangs are built specifically for offense, Granbull can bite with a crushing amount of power. Granbull's vicious appearance is a natural intimidation tactic meant to discourage any other Pokémon from assaulting it. In spite of its appearance, however, it is rather timid and easily spooked, and it only defends itself in retaliation to an assault upon it. When it is attacked by another Pokémon in the wild, Granbull flails about with its limbs to ward off its attacker. |Number: 211||Type: Water/Poison||Does not evolve| Qwilfish (ハリーセン Harīsen) is a porcupinefish-like fish that has a round body with many toxin-containing spikes and a teardrop-shaped tail. The spikes give it trouble swimming, but it also has defensive measures against predators. Qwilfish can swallow large quantities of water in very short notice, causing itself to inflate to a much larger size, which it uses to intimidate larger opponents. If the opponent isn't scared, Qwilfish uses the pressure of the water it swallowed to shoot out its toxic spikes at, thus weakening, the opponent. In the anime, Qwilfish made its first appearance in Dueling Heroes, owned by Harrison. Dorian, the leader of the unofficial Coastline Gym featured in Just Add Water, owns a Qwilfish. In the Pokémon Adventures manga, a swarm of Qwilfish appeared in Volume 10, angered by pollution that occurred as a result of an accident that occurred during the construction of the Battle Tower. |Number: 212||Type: Bug/Steel||Evolves from: Scyther||Evolves into: None| Scizor (ハッサム Hassamu, Hassamu A play on the word for scissors in Japanese, "はさみ「Hasami」", in original Japanese language versions) is a human-size mantis similar to its evolutionary predecessor Scyther, with a thick, metallic red exoskeleton and crab-like claws. It is tougher and stronger than Scyther, but has lost its predecessor's speed and ability to fly. Instead, it spreads its wings to cool off, and flaps them very rapidly to heat up, or to blow air to cool itself off. The eye-like markings on its claws enable it to confuse prey by pretending to have three heads. Its demeanor changes, as well. While Scyther is a mantis-like predator, striking fast and simply evading potential pursuers, Scizor is more crab-like, with a conservative, defensive demeanor, in keeping with its greater defensive ability and lesser speed. Once it engages its foe, either in the wild or at the direction of a Pokémon Trainer in a Pokémon battle, however, it behaves more like Scyther, striking quickly with its powerful claws, raking more than pinching, and relying on its startling agility to evade attacks. Scizor is unique in that it has the same base stat total as its pre-evolution Scyther. In Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time and Explorers of Darkness Scizor is a famous explorer who is captured by Froslass in ice for several decades. The player travels to Crevice Cave to defeat Froslass and frees Scizor, who bestows the Secret Rank upon the player's team in gratitude. Both Scyther and Scizor are NPCs in PokéPark Wii: Pikachu's Adventure and its sequel, PokéPark 2: Wonders Beyond. Scizor appears from a Poké Ball in Super Smash Bros. Melee, flying around the stage and attacking anybody it comes into contact with. In the anime, Scizor was first seen under the ownership of a trainer named Shingo who thought he could always predict the outcome of a match by the database on his computer in Wired For Battle. The Iron-Masked Marauder used a Scizor to retrieve Celebi in Celebi: Voice of the Forest. Gary Oak used a Scizor against Ash in Can't Beat the Heat!. In A Judgment Brawl, Katie used a Scizor to battle Ash's Swellow during the Hoenn League, and lost. GamesRadar wrote that Scyther continued to look fierce even after its evolution into Scizor. GamesRadar commented that while Scyther was cool, its evolution Scizor was even cooler. Another editor called it a "hybrid of a mantis and a gundam" citing its "sleek exterior, powerful claws, and tender caress". IGN noted their various weakness, though described them as "so popular it's sickening" and praised its design, naming Scyther the best of the Bug-type Pokémon to appear in Pokémon Red and Blue and made stronger with its evolved form. IGN editor PokemonOfTheDayHunk stated that Scizor is an overused character, and "if you want to be original, stay away from this guy." 1UP.com called Scizor one of their favourite Pokémon which got much better in Diamond and Pearl. They also described it as the "vogue Pokémon" of competitive Pokémon battling. In a poll conducted by IGN, it was voted as the 19th best Pokémon, where the staff called it "one of the coolest Pokémon to come out of Generation II", also stating that "Scyther is already one of the coolest Pokémon in the game". |Number: 213||Type: Bug/Rock||Does not evolve| Shuckle (ツボツボ Tsubotsubo) resembles a scale insect. Its soft yellow body has four legs and is covered by a hard, vase-like red shell which has eight openings for Shuckle to stick its head and four appendages out of. It makes its home amid rocks, withdrawing into its rock-like shell and hiding among, under or within them. Shuckle employs a fluid secreted by its toes to dissolve rocks and carve them in a shape fit for its nest, the fluids are also occasionally used offensively against enemy Pokémon. Shuckle's diet consists of berries, which it stores inside its shell to eat later. If stored long enough, the berries will eventually decompose and mix with Shuckle's natural fluids to form a viscous liquid that makes a healing beverage aptly called "Berry Juice", which restores 20 HP. It also notably has the best Defense and Special Defense of any Pokémon in the game, though it has low HP and its offensive stats are worse than Magikarp's. In the anime, Butch of the higher Team Rocket owns a Shuckle. |Number: 214||Type: Bug/Fighting||Does not evolve| Heracross (ヘラクロス Herakurosu, Heracros in original Japanese language versions) is a large, blue, winged bipedal beetle. It has a capsule-shaped thorax similar to Pinsir's, a pair of yellow eyes and two clawed arms and feet. Growing from its head is a large T-shaped horn, which is flanked on either side by a smaller antenna. As of Pokémon X and Y Heracross is capable of Mega Evolving during this it gains a temporary form that is much bulkier than its previous one. It also gains larger forearms and horns that resemble those of a Hercules Beetle. Heracross is a powerful but docile Pokémon. Its natural habitat is forests and its diet consists of tree sap, nectar and honey. Its strength is such that it can topple large trees if it so wished. Heracross's main weapon is its large horn, of which it is particularly proud. However, it only uses it in the wild to deter its foes, not hurt them. In the Pokémon anime, Ash catches a Heracross in the episode A Sappy Ending. The Heracross is powerful, but also is distracted by sap, to the point where it tries to feed off the nectar of Ash's Bulbasaur's flower bulb when Bulbasaur is in sight, often forcing Bulbasaur to use Vine Whip to stop Heracross. It is currently at Professor Oak's lab and is voiced by Katsuyuki Konishi in both the Japanese- and English-language versions of the anime. |Number: 215||Type: Dark/Ice||Evolves from: None||Evolves into: Weavile| Sneasel (ニューラ Nyūra) is a nocturnal Pokémon that lives in caves and mountain forests. Its English name is a portmanteau of the words sneak and weasel. Sneasel is a deep blue-gray and has a golden jewel on its forehead and chest, and its claws are white. These claws are dangerously sharp, extremely durable, and are used for attacking. It hunts under the cover of chilly darkness, which allows it to sneak up on foes or lost prey. It also steals and eats eggs from nests. If the nest is guarded by a parent Pokémon, Sneasel scares the Pokémon away. It evolves into Weavile by leveling it up with Razor Claw at night. It can also be selected as a partner Pokémon in Pokémon Ranger: Shadows of Almia. |Number: 216||Type: Normal||Evolves from: None||Evolves into: Ursaring| Teddiursa (ヒメグマ Himeguma) is a bear cub, resembling a teddy bear more than a real bear. Teddiursa have a crescent mark on their forehead, which grows (both in thickness and in circumference) as the Pokémon ages. Once the crescent fully closes into a circle, the Teddiursa is ready to evolve into an Ursaring. Teddiursa, although an omnivore, has a diet that almost exclusively consists of honey. It makes its own honey out of fruit and pollen from Beedrill. It lets the honey soak in its paws, making it often lick its paws. Teddiursa has appeared many times in the anime. Molly Hale used an illusion of a Teddiursa to battle Brock in Spell of the Unown. She is seen with a real one at the end of the movie. Teddiursa's first major appearance was in UnBEARable. This Teddiursa was a thief by pretending to be cute to humans to steal their food and blame it on their Pokémon. Ultimately it evolved into Ursaring at the end of the episode. A Teddiursa is one of the best friends of the Pichu Brothers in Pichu Bros.: Party Panic. A Teddiursa appeared in Going For A Spinda, disguised as a Spinda by Team Rocket and tied up in order to lure a Spinda to them, but instead its Ursaring parent came and blasted them off. |Number: 217||Type: Normal||Evolves from: Teddiursa||Evolves into: None| Ursaring (リングマ Ringuma) is a large (although arboreal) bear with a yellow ring on its stomach. Ursaring eats food obtained from digging deep underground as well as berries from trees. Ursaring can hibernate through an entire winter without any food. Ursaring's sense of smell is among the most developed of all Pokémon; it can detect subtle differences in scents. For this reason, Ursaring is sometimes used by police in the Pokémon universe, both as a strong enforcer, and as an explosive-sniffing Pokémon. If criminals are hiding in trees, it can use its claws to cut down the tree. It is based on a grizzly bear and possibly a sun bear. Its Japanese name, "Ringuma", originates from "ring" (ringu) and "bear" (kuma). In the anime, Ursaring is caught by Paul, after it is angered by Turtwig. |Number: 218||Type: Fire||Evolves from: None||Evolves into: Magcargo| Slugma (マグマッグ Magumaggu, Magmag in original Japanese language versions) is a diurnal slug-like Pokémon made of lava. It usually lives in areas of great heat, because it requires heat to live. It can only be motionless for an amount of time if it stays near heated areas. If it strays from a heated area, it must remain in constant motion, or its skin will harden. If it stops moving in this case, it will die slowly from starvation. Despite this, Slugma can learn the move Harden. Slugma made its debut in the anime as one of Macey's Pokémon in Tie One On! and was used in her battle against Ash in the Silver Conference. At the end of the episode it had evolved into Magcargo. Flannery had two Slugma named Mag and Meg, one of which evolved to Magcargo in Poetry Commotion!. In the Pokémon Adventures manga, a trio of Slugma first appeared in Volume 10. Professor Oak tried to capture them at the beginning of the volume, but failed. The Slugma later appeared outside Earl's Pokémon Academy at Violet City where they were captured by Crystal. Mack uses his Slugma to create illusions by generating waves of distorted air via heat, forcing targets to relive their worst memories. |Number: 219||Type: Fire/Rock||Evolves from: Slugma||Evolves into: None| Magcargo (マグカルゴ Magukarugo, Magcargot in original Japanese language versions) is a snail composed of magma with a shell on its back. The shell is actually a thin outgrowth of its skin that hardened due to cooling of the air, in spite of the fact that it lives in the heat of volcanic craters. The shell is brittle and fragile enough that touching it will cause it to break and crumble, though Magcargo “grows” back its shell passively in a short amount of time. Magcargo has a body temperature of approximately 18,000 degrees Fahrenheit. This temperature would not be attainable in the real world, since even rhenium and tungsten vaporize at much lower temperatures. Since Magcargo is composed of molten lava, when traveling at its slow pace it leaves parts of its continually hardening body on the ground behind it, thus decreasing its physical size. To lose too much of its mass is potentially deadly, so Magcargo routinely restores its size and vitality by dipping its body into volcanic pools of magma. |Number: 220||Type: Ice/Ground||Evolves from: Is A Basic Pokèmon||Evolves into: Piloswine| Swinub (ウリムー Urimū) is a pig covered in brown fur with dark brown stripes, and is found in icy areas. It roots around with its nose to find food, its favorite being a certain mushroom that grows under dead grass. Swinub's nose is so tough that even the frozen ground poses no problem. Occasionally, it will find hot springs while rooting around in the ground. Swinub is notable for being the first Ice-type in the National Dex Listing that evolves into another Ice-type in the same generation, as all other Ice-types before Swinub either evolve from pure Water-types (Dewgong and Cloyster, which evolve from pure Water-types Seel and Shellder, respectively) do not evolve into or from anything (Lapras and Articuno) or have relatives in different generations (Jynx and Sneasel). In the anime, Dawn acquires a Swinub she met in Mr. Backlot's garden, after it saved her and the group's Pokémon from Team Rocket. This Swinub eventually evolved into a Piloswine and then into a Mamoswine two episodes later. Now at this stage, it has acquired gigantic strength, but has also become very aggressive towards Dawn and her Pokémon. Dawn is still eager to train it, however. Noticed in the anime, Swinub has an enormous appetite. |Number: 221||Type: Ice/Ground||Evolves from: Swinub||Evolves into: Mamoswine| Piloswine (イノムー Inomū, Inomoo in original Japanese language versions) has elements of wild boars and mammoths, but is most similar to muskox. Piloswine thrives in cold climates. It has adapted to such inhospitable environments; its thick, shaggy fur which covers its body almost completely shields it against the low temperature, while its rugged hooves provide traction on slippery and frictionless ice surfaces. Piloswine has difficulty seeing because the fur covers its eyes, but it compensates for that by being extremely sensitive to sound. If an ill-meaning individual makes an incriminating noise, Piloswine will home in on the threat and charge at it repeatedly, since it can't see clear enough to tell when the danger has been neutralized. In the game and anime, Pryce, Gym Leader of Mahogany Town, uses a Piloswine as his main signature Ice-type Pokémon. |Number: 222||Type: Water/Rock||Does not evolve| Corsola (サニーゴ Sanīgo, Saniigo in original Japanese language versions) is composed of a pink coral-like substance. It has a small face and a white underbelly. In addition to the coral outgrowths (also described as branches) situated all over the upper half of its body, Corsola also has a growth like a horn on its head, and that is considered its natural armament when facing underwater predators. They can also regenerate the branches. The branches serve to supply Corsola with nutrients by absorbing them from wherever there is clean water. The branches are amazingly expendable; if any branch breaks off, Corsola can grow it back over the period of one night (compare with Staryu). However, this regenerative ability is undermined by Corsola’s inability to live in polluted water. If the sea is polluted, Corsola’s branches become discolored and soon crumble away, where soon after the Pokémon will die. Corsola prefers to live wherever the seas are warm, so is a common sight near the shorelines during summer. Many live in the clean, and presumably warm, seas of the south. In the Pokémon anime, Misty caught a Corsola in the episode A Corsola Caper, and has owned it ever since. It almost immediately became Misty's primary battling Pokémon, displaying surprisingly strong offensive abilities (in one case, knocking out a Gyarados with a single attack) in addition to the defensive power for which the species is best known.HEY! |Number: 223||Type: Water||Evolves from: None||Evolves into: Octillery| Remoraid (テッポウオ, Teppouo in original Japanese language versions) is a remora-based suckerfish that scavenges for food and has a somewhat symbiotic relationship with Mantine. Remoraid will attach itself to the underbelly of Mantine with its dorsal fin, eating scraps of food that Mantine drops as well as the parasites on them that causes them to itch. In return, the Mantine helps defend the Remoraid from enemies. When not scavenging for food, Remoraid will strike down its own prey with precise accuracy using fast streams of airborne water, which Remoraid shoots from its mouth using abdominal muscles. Remoraid can move faster through the water by blasting water from its mouth in the opposite direction of where it intends to move. Despite being based on a fish, strangely enough it evolves into Octillery, a Pokémon based on an Octopus which is a mollusc. Its appearance has no resemblance to Remoraid whatsoever which makes Remoraid one of the few Pokémon to have an evolve from that is completely different from itself. Though the evolution may be a reference to suction cups; Remoraid having one as a dorsal fin and evolving into Octillery to have many. Remoraid is based on the Gunfish enemy from the game Pulseman, a video game created by Game Freak years before Pokémon. In the Pokémon Diamond and Pearl series, it must be present in the player's party for Mantyke to evolve into Mantine. |Number: 224||Type: Water||Evolves from: Remoraid||Evolves into: None| Octillery (オクタン Okutan, Okutan in original Japanese language versions) resembles a combination of an octopus and a tank. Its name is a portmanteau of the words "octopus" and "artillery". This is reflected in its abilities, including squirting ink as a means of self-defense. Also, like many octopode, Octillery can move about by squirting pressurized water from its mouth. Octillery is a carnivore; they catch fish with their tentacles, and kill (and afterwards eat) it by smashing the rocky protrusions on its head into its opponent's skull. Octillery is a nesting creature, in that it sleeps in burrows it prepares; however, its nests are temporary structures only, and it rarely uses the same nest two nights in a row. Despite being an evolved form of Remoraid, it shares no resemblance to it other than its behavior (using its suction cups to suckle) and being based on a weapon. Octillery has been the focus of a few promotional events. In 2007, Japanese Pokémon Centers gave out headbands and stickers to high leveled Octillery owners. |Number: 225||Type: Ice/Flying||Does not evolve| Delibird (デリバード, Deribādo in original Japanese language versions) resembles the rockhopper penguin, or possibly a snowy owl. The name is a portmanteau of the words delivery, due to its profession as a messenger, and bird. It has red and white plumage and is always pictured carrying a sack with it, giving it a Santa Claus-like impression, although its "sack" is actually a long wavery tail, like a ribbon. Delibird is said to make its home at the edge of steep cliffs. It spends all day searching for food, which it stores in its sack/tail and brings back to its chicks. Delibird are known to save the lives of many lost and starved mountaineers by sharing their food with them. A Delibird under attack will fling its stored food at the opponent as a projectile weapon. In the video games, Delibird is a relatively rare Pokémon; it appears in icy caves, during swarms in Pokémon Diamond and Pearl. In Pokémon FireRed, Delibird can also be caught in Icefall Cave on Four Island of the Sevii Islands. In Pokémon Stadium 2, Delibird stars in its own mini-game called "Delibird's Delivery". Players collect presents from one side of the field to the other, while avoiding being tripped by Swinub. Delibird's anime debut was in the episode "Dues and Don'ts," in which a Delibird belonging to Team Rocket follows Jessie, James, and Meowth around under orders to collect the enormous debt the three have amassed during the years with constant requests for Pokémon-shaped mechas and other devices. This Delibird appears in several episodes in the series set in Johto. Another Delibird, a helper of Santa Claus, appeared in "Delibird's Present," an episode of the Pikachu's Winter Vacation 3 holiday special also shown as part of Pokémon Chronicles. GamesRadar's Raymond Padilla wrote that it "looks weird and more than a bit silly". Comics Alliance's Chris Sims wrote that while it did not seem creepy at first, the Poké Dex entry which discusses how it carries food home to its chicks made it morally questionable that trainers would try to capture them. Comics Alliance also featured it in their article on the best and worst Pokémon. |Number: 226||Type: Water/Flying||Evolves from: Mantyke||Evolves into: None| Mantine (マンタイン, Mantain in original Japanese language versions) is a dark blue manta ray with two large wings branching off its body, and a very, very long, kite-like, light blue tail. It is often depicted having a Remoraid attached to its side eating Mantine's leftovers. In the anime, Mantine protects Remoraid's offspring, while the parent Remoraid help the Mantine in tough decisions. Mantine swims in open sea, participating in schools. Its large and well-developed wings enable it to briefly leap over the sea's surface if it builds up enough speed, in a manner similar to some real aquatic species. Mantine is a filter feeder, like whales; its diet consists of most things that happen to enter its mouth while swimming. It may be based on a jet plane, with Remoraid acting as missiles or torpedoes, and is most likely a counterpart to Octillery, being based on a military vehicle and its evolution line being so closely dependent on Remoraid. |Number: 227||Type: Steel/Flying||Does not evolve| Skarmory (エアームド Eāmudo, Airmd in original Japanese language versions) is an avian Pokémon with a body of metal armor and feathers. Its hollow body allows it to fly over 180 miles per hour in the sky. Skarmory raises its offspring in bramble bushes, the thorny environment causing the offspring's bodies to become more resistant. Skarmory's wings become battered from repeated battles, so it grows the feathers back to the original state once a year. Feathers from Skarmory have been used by people of the past as knives and swords. It also has a cameo on the Pokémon Stadium 2's flying stage in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Skarmory also appeared in a Pokémon Mystery Dungeon special. It is based on the Stymphalian birds of Greek mythology. Skarmory is the main antagonist of Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Team Go-Getters Out Of The Gate!. He kidnaps Pikachu and ties him up in a vine. As Pichu and the Go-Getters Team reach the mountain, he kidnaps Pichu and ties him next to Pikachu. |Number: 228||Type: Dark/Fire||Evolves from: None||Evolves into: Houndoom| Houndour (デルビル Derubiru, Delvil in original Japanese language versions), known as the Dark Pokémon, is a dog-like Pokémon resembling a Doberman Pinscher. Houndour has short black fur, a red underbelly and snout, short pointed ears and tail, white bands on its ankles and back, and what appears to be a skull on its forehead and ribs on its back. Houndour is a nocturnal carnivorous Pokémon that organizes itself in packs. A Houndour pack works with perfect teamwork to pursue prey. Individual members of the pack approach the intended target from different spots and begin the hunt. They then communicate their location to each other using special howls, ensuring that the victim is eventually surrounded and unable to escape. They are very protective of one another and will not abandon any of its pack if they are hurt. Houndour made its anime debut in Hour of the Houndour. A pack of these Pokémon were stealing food to aid their badly wounded leader. Ash helped the ailing Houndour to a Pokémon Center. In the Pokémon Adventures manga, Gold is attacked and defeated by 4 Pokémon, including a Houndour, when he enters the Ilex Forest, and is then warned to stay out by the Mask of Ice. |Number: 229||Type: Dark/Fire||Evolves from: Houndour||Evolves into: None| Houndoom (ヘルガー Herugā, Hellgar in original Japanese language versions) live in packs, whose leader is decided by fierce fighting among its members, is a doberman pinscher and rottweiler-like Pokémon. The leader develops horns sharply raked towards its back to display its dominant status. A Houndoom's body is filled with volatile toxins that ignite when exposed to air, causing pungent-smelling flames to be shot. The flames cause a severe pain that can never be alleviated. Houndoom is a feared predator among Pokémon, with its howl being likened to the howl of the Grim Reaper in legend. Just the sound of its howl is enough to send all other Pokémon which hear it hurrying back to the safety of their nests. Its appearance may possibly be connected to mythological creatures like Cerberus or a hellhound. The Golden Jackal occasionally have small horns, called Jackal's Horn, which are said to have mystical properties. In a poll by Official Nintendo Magazine, Houndoom was voted as one of the best Fire-type Pokémon. They described it as having "the most vicious dog breath ever", and that "it has toxic flames in its belly and shoots malodorous flames from its mouth". However, they criticized it for being "one of the least imaginatively named Pokémon in existence". |Number: 230||Type: Water/Dragon||Evolves from: Seadra||Evolves into: None| Kingdra (キングドラ Kingudora) is resemblant of a large, blue weedy sea dragon with two branch-like horns on its head and two pairs of flippers on each side. It is said that Kingdra lives and sleeps at the bottom of the sea floor, at extreme underwater depths that are otherwise devoid of life due to water pressure. It also usually hides in underwater caves. It is believed to create maelstroms by yawning. When a storm arrives, it is said to awaken and wander about in search of prey. When it comes to the surface, it creates a huge whirlpool with enough force to swallow ships. |Number: 231||Type: Ground||Evolves from: None||Evolves into: Donphan| Phanpy (ゴマゾウ Gomazō, Gomazou in original Japanese language versions) is a small, elephant-like Pokémon that has a large snout that serves various purposes. Its large ears act as fans to cool it down. Phanpy possesses the strength to lift an adult human; playful behavior with one may prove dangerous. It lives in nests that are vertical holes dug at a river's shore. The area around the nest is claimed by Phanpy by marking it with its trunk, warning other Pokémon to keep out. In the mornings, Phanpy uses its trunk by the river's edge to give itself a shower. When many Phanpy gather, they soak each other wet with their trunks, and dry at the edge of the water. In the anime, Ash obtains an egg that hatches into a Phanpy. Later, it evolves into Donphan. Phanpy is a starter or partner in Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky. |Number: 232||Type: Ground||Evolves from: Phanpy||Evolves into: None| Donphan (ドンファン, Donfan in original Japanese language versions) is an armored elephant-like Pokémon that can easily take normal attacks without receiving a scratch. Its large, sharp tusks that take long to grow serve as a status symbol in their herds. It can easily haul dump trucks and demolish houses by tackling them. This strength is often used to clear rock and mud slides that block trails. Its favorite attack is the "Rollout", where it curls into a ball and charges at high speeds, though it is hard for it to stop. Donphan first appeared in Pokémon: The First Movie. In the anime, Ash owns a Donphan that evolved from a Phanpy. In Pokémon Stadium 2, Donphan stars in its own minigame called "Rampage Rollout". Players have to run about around a square race track while throwing funnels of wind at opponents. |Number: 233||Type: Normal||Evolves from: Porygon||Evolves into: Porygon-Z| Porygon2 (ポリゴン2, Porigon Tsu in original Japanese language versions) is an improved version of its pre-evolution Porygon. It has enhanced abilities, including increased potency in combat. As opposed to most evolved Pokémon, Porygon2 is shorter and lighter than Porygon. Its artificial intelligence has been developed to such a degree as to give it the capacity to learn on its own from its surroundings and experiences. This results in Porygon2 occasionally exhibiting behavior or motions that were not included in its original programming. Porygon2 was originally intended to be used as a space probe. Unfortunately, since it cannot fly, such an application has been abandoned. Porygon2 evolves from a Porygon that has been traded while holding the Up-Grade item, and will evolve into Porygon-Z if it is traded while holding the Dubious Disc item. Porygon2 also makes two cameos in the fighting games Super Smash Bros. and its successor, Super Smash Bros. Melee. It is one of an assortment of Pokémon that can emerge from a Poké Ball item, and a collectible Porygon2 trophy can also be obtained. Porygon2 has never appeared in the Pokémon anime, most likely due to the controversial Pokémon episode: Dennō Senshi Porygon (Electric Soldier Porygon). |Number: 234||Type: Normal||Does not evolve| Stantler (オドシシ, Odoshishi in original Japanese language versions) is a deer-like Pokémon with large, curved antlers. These antlers change the flow of the air, causing the space around them to act as a distorted reality, and leaving other beings around the Stantler confused and lost in their senses. This allows it to create hallucinations to aid it in battle or allow it to escape. The antlers are considered art in the Pokémon world, causing the Stantler to almost be hunted to extinction as the trading market of the antlers reached very high prices. The orbs on fallen antlers are often ground into a powder that helps people sleep. Stantler's name is derived from stag, meaning a male deer, and antler, referring to the horn-like growths on its head. |Number: 235||Type: Normal||Does not evolve| Smeargle (ドーブル Dōburu, Doble in original Japanese language versions) is the painter of the Pokémon world, best known for its unique "Sketch" attack. It has some dog-like features and a long tail that ends in a tuft of fur similar to a paintbrush. The tuft is continuously soaked by a special fluid secreted from the tip of the tail. The color of the fluid is predetermined for each Smeargle. The fluid is used to mark the boundaries of its territory and print its footprints on the backs of its fellows once they reach maturity. Over 5,000 distinctive marks left by the species have been found in the Pokémon world. Smeargle is the only Pokémon that can learn the "Sketch" technique. When used, it will permanently replace itself with the last technique used by an opponent Pokémon against Smeargle. It learns Sketch every ten levels, but can learn it at any time from the Move Relearner. It can learn nearly any attack in the game, however, there are a few exceptions, such as Chatot's signature move Chatter. However, Smeargle has poor stats apart from its usable base 75 Speed, meaning that it tends to play a support role with moves like Baton Pass and Spore. |Number: 236||Type: Fighting||Evolves from: None||Evolves into: Hitmonlee, Hitmonchan, or Hitmontop| Tyrogue (バルキー Barukī, Balkie in original Japanese language versions) is a fighting Pokémon with three different evolutions, the first generation's Hitmonlee and Hitmonchan, and one introduced in the second generation, Hitmontop. The Pokémon that it evolves into is based upon the Attack and Defense statistics of the Tyrogue at the point of evolution. Tyrogue is very energetic; it puts this energy into training. It constantly challenges, or randomly attacks, different Pokémon in order to get stronger, though it often ends up with injuries caused by much stronger Pokémon. Even if it loses, it will never give up on its training. If a captive Tyrogue doesn't have various set training methods established by its trainer, it will often become stressed. Tyrogue and its evolutions are based as all male. |Number: 237||Type: Fighting||Evolves from: Tyrogue||Evolves into: None| Hitmontop (カポエラー Kapoerā, Capoeirer in original Japanese language versions) has a sharp point on the top of its head which allows it to balance itself upside-down on its head, the position which it holds in much of the time while it is observed. While it can walk upright, it often travels by spinning like a top, letting it travel much faster. Using the centrifugal force to boost its attack by ten times, it launches elegant kicks while spinning. This allows it to throw off its opponent's timing, and give it a good mix of offense and defense. If it spins fast enough, it can dig into the ground. Any punch or hand based moves bred onto or learned by a Tyrogue will carry into either of its evolved forms . This means that even a Hitmontop can know a move like Mach Punch or High Jump Kick. Its Japanese name is most likely a variation of the Brazilian/African fighting style capoeira. |Number: 238||Type: Ice/Psychic||Evolves from: None||Evolves into: Jynx| Smoochum (ムチュール Muchūru, Muchul) is the pre-evolution of Jynx. It is a female-only species that uses its lips, the most sensitive part of its body, to examine new and unfamiliar objects, and remember its likes and dislikes. This sensitivity quickly develops as it grows. It actively runs about, but often falls. When idle, it rocks its head back and forth, as if it were kissing someone. It constantly searches for ways to see its reflection, so it can see if its face is dirty. Smoochum first appeared in Pokémon Gold and Silver only available by breeding a Jynx with a similar Pokémon or with the Pokémon Ditto. It is one of several baby versions of Pokémon species introduced in Gold and Silver, which includes Pichu, Igglybuff, Cleffa, Tyrogue, Elekid, and Magby. It has since appeared in every main Pokémon title since, notably Pokémon Diamond and Pearl where it was made available in the wild for the first time. Outside of the main series, Smoochum appears in Pokémon Channel, Pokémon Trozei!, the Pokémon Mystery Dungeon titles, Pokémon Ranger: Guardian Signs, and PokéPark Wii: Pikachu's Adventure. Smoochum has made multiple appearances in the Pokémon anime. Smoochum appeared in the short film titled Pikachu & Pichu which preceded the film Pokémon 3: The Movie. In the television series, it appears in the episode The Screen Actor's Guilt where an actor owns a Smoochum, and his agent attempts to keep them apart in fear that the actor owning a Smoochum would damage his reputation. In another episode, it is separated from three Jynx because of Team Rocket member Jessie, but is rescued by the Jynx, Ash Ketchum, and his companions. Smoochum has made several minor appearances, including being owned by Jessie for a brief period of time. In the Pokémon Adventures manga, a Smoochum appears on two separate occasions: once in the ninth volume where it is one of several baby Pokémon that escape from a day care, and one named Chumee that is consistently used by the character Crystal as part of a team of Pokémon that she uses to capture other Pokémon. Smoochum also appears in the Magical Pokémon Journey manga where it is the younger sister of a fortune telling Jynx. It attempts to tell fortunes, but it has no ability to do so and ends up telling bad fortunes. Since its first appearance, Smoochum has received mostly negative reception. Smoochum ranks as the 10th least favourite Pokémon among IGN readers. IGN's Jack DeVries listed a number of reasons why it is so disliked, which included a sentiment that human-shaped Pokémon are "creepy as hell" and its name. 1UP.com's Michael Vreeland wrote that the Pokémon Gothita looks like "a Smoochum whose mother got it plastic surgery and then took it shopping at Hot Topic". Official Nintendo Magazine 's Thomas East wrote that Smoochum's name was "amusing" and that it could have made a list of the five best Pokémon names. ComicsAlliance's David Uzumeri and Chris Sims covered Smoochum in their "Best and Worst of Pokémon" article. David wrote that it was "needy-looking" while Chris wrote "I don't even know what to say about it other than 'This exists.'" GamesRadar's Carolyn Gudmundson wrote that she was "thankful for all 489 Pokemon species", a number which was normally 493 but she stated that Smoochum along with three other Pokémon were "all dead" to her. |Number: 239||Type: Electric||Evolves from: None||Evolves into: Electabuzz| Elekid (エレキッド Erekiddo) is the baby form of Electabuzz, introduced in Pokémon Gold, Silver, and Crystal. Elekid stores electricity in its body by constantly rotating its arms, causing the space between its AC power plug-like horns to flicker with a bluish-white electrical charge. It easily tires out, so it can only charge a little bit at a time. If it were to accidentally touch metal it would discharge its electricity. It is always happy when there is thunder rumbling, even in the most vicious of storms. Elekid's first appearance in the anime, albeit minor is in the Pokémon episode, Misty Meets Her Match. In the episode, Tracey Sketchit shows Professor Oak a sketch of Elekid horns sticking out a bush, via video call. Tracey claimed that it could be an undiscovered Pokémon. Film-wise, Elekid debuted in the second Pikachu short film, Pikachu's Rescue Adventure, in which a wild Elekid befriended Pikachu and friends, and led them to where Togepi had accidentally ended up. |Number: 240||Type: Fire||Evolves from: None||Evolves into: Magmar| Magby (ブビィ Bubyi, Buby in original Japanese language versions) is the baby form of Magmar. Its body temperature and the fire that it breathes are constantly over 1100 F. Its health is determined by the state of its flame; healthy Magby have pure yellow flames, while black smoke is mixed in with unhealthy ones. As it breathes, embers constantly dribble out of its nostrils and its mouth. It lives in volcanic craters, and an eruption is imminent when many Magby gather in one place. |Number: 241||Type: Normal||Does not evolve| Miltank ( ミルタンク Mirutanku) is a milk cow type Pokémon that resembles a Jersey cow, a type of dairy cow, and provides a highly nutritious milk, especially during a post-gestation period (although Pokémon all hatch from eggs). Its name is a portmanteau of the words milk and tank. Miltank's milk and its derivatives, such as yogurt, are popular with children and adults and can even be used as a form of natural medicine for the sick and weary, as well as other Pokémon. Over five gallons of milk can be gathered daily from a single Miltank. In Pokémon Gold and Silver, Whitney, Gym Leader of Goldenrod City owns a Miltank. Whitney's Miltank has gained infamy for its use of the move Rollout, which, with enough momentum, can steamroll through a gym challenger's team. Competitively, Miltank has access to a boosting move, Curse, which can raise its Attack to dangerous levels; its signature move Milk Drink and status-healing move Heal Bell give it longevity. Thanks to the Scrappy ability, Ghost types are not immune to its Normal-type moves, though Rock- and Steel- types will be difficult to wear down. The MooMoo Farm has five Miltank, but the fifth Miltank named MooMoo must be healed being fed berries. When you do this you are rewarded with the TM Snore in "Gold" "Silver" or "Crystal."In "HeartGold" and "SoulSilver" you are rewarded with a seal case, and some seals. Miltank first appeared in the anime under the ownership of Whitney during A Goldenrod Opportunity and A Dairy Tale Ending. In Got Miltank?, a Miltank was guarding an area that was for Pokémon only. Four Miltank appeared in Tanks for the Memories!. One under Autumn's ownership, nicknamed "Ilta" (ルータン Rūtan), two under Spring's and another one under Summer's. |Number: 242||Type: Normal||Evolves from: Chansey||Evolves into: None| Blissey, Happinas (ハピナス Hapinasu) in original Japanese language versions, is very compassionate and caring, and if it detects any feelings of sadness through its fur, it will immediately sprint towards the source and share one of its eggs. This egg is an exquisite delicacy in the Pokémon universe, and it immediately causes whoever eats it to enter a state of euphoria, becoming kindhearted to everyone. Blissey will tend to any ailing creature with loving care, using the healing power in its egg. Blissey has the most "hit points" of any Pokémon in the games, meaning that it has the most stamina of any Pokémon, as well as the highest special defence of any normal-type Pokémon, making it a popular defensive choice. It is a female-only species. In the anime, Blissey appears a lot in Pokémon Centers alongside Nurse Joy. Blissey and the various Nurse Joys (of which there are many) are trusted with the medical care of many different types of Pokémon. In one episode, Jessie of Team Rocket reunites with a Blissey who used to be a Chansey when they were both studying to be nurses. |Number: 243||Type: Electric||Does not evolve| Raikou ( ライコウ Raikō), known as the Thunder Pokémon, is one of the three "Legendary Beasts" that are featured in Pokémon Gold, Silver, and Crystal. According to legend, the Legendary Beasts were reincarnated by Ho-Oh from the spirits of three Pokémon which died in the fire that gave Burnt Tower its name. They are awakened in this tower in their first appearance. Another myth maintains that Raikou descended to earth together with a lightning bolt. Each Beast personifies a force of nature - Raikou, in particular, embodies the speed of lightning. Raikou is a yellow tiger-like creature that stores tremendous energy inside its body. It has black stripes that resemble lightning bolts and a white under-side, and a skinny, light-blue tail with a star-shaped formation at the end. Raikou appears to have a purple cape that is supposedly made of thunderclouds. Most of Raikou's face is white with a light-blue "X" on its face and a gray crest on its forehead. Raikou has red eyes and long fangs in its upper jaws that make its appearance similar to the sabre-tooth cat. It has the ability to shoot bolts of lightning from the rain clouds on its back. Raikou's roar is aptly described as "thunderous". It is loud enough to create shock waves and shake the ground as if actual thunder had struck. Raikou is normally distrustful of humans because humans have tried to capture the Legendary Beast of Thunder for many centuries, though it has shown some friendship with those that just wish to help it. As a member of the legendary beast trio, Raikou is constantly on the move, although it tends to show up either when there is a thunderstorm or when other Electric-type Pokémon are in danger. Raikou first appears in the Game Boy Color video games Pokémon Gold and Silver. Upon being approached by the player's character, Raikou, along with its counterparts Entei and Suicune, flee, traveling at incredible speeds across Johto. The three of them will randomly appear on a certain route, fleeing from battle at the first opportunity. The three of them later appear in Pokémon FireRed and LeafGreen; however, only one of them appears in a single play through. If the player chooses Squirtle, Raikou will appear in a similar fashion to how it appeared in Gold and Silver. In Pokémon HeartGold and SoulSilver, Raikou is encountered similarly to how it is in Gold and Silver. To promote the release of Pokémon Black and White, players can download the shiny Entei, Raikou, and Suicune from GameStop stores on various weeks in January and February 2011, which will activate the Zoroark event in the games. Raikou also appears in the Gamecube game Super Smash Bros. Melee, when released from a Poké Ball, Raikou releases a powerful Spark attack that electrocutes any opponents that get caught in it. Raikou is featured in a special anime episode called Raikou - The Legend of Thunder that forms the first three episodes of Pokémon Chronicles. In the special, two Team Rocket agents-Atilla and Hun, scheme to capture Raikou with a device that reflects and deflects energy blasts. Three New Bark Town trainers risk their own lives to try to save Raikou. It is thought by the trainers that Raikou attempts to guard other electric Pokémon from danger whenever possible. In an interview, Tsunekazu Ishihara, President of The Pokémon Company, described Raikou as well as the other two Legendary Beasts Entei and Suicune as appealing and exciting to both new and old players; he states that they would evoke memories for old players, while new players would be surprised by the random appearance of them. Raikou was included by MTV's Multiplayer Blog as one of the nominees in the "Greatest Canine In Video Game History" article, along with Entei and Suicune. In the end, however, none of them were chosen by readers or by the panel of judges. |Number: 244||Type: Fire||Does not evolve| Entei ( エンテイ Entei), known as the Volcano Pokémon, is born during the eruption of a volcano. It is one of the three "Legendary Beasts" that are featured in Pokémon Gold, Silver, and Crystal. According to Pokémon legend, the Legendary Beasts were reincarnated by Ho-Oh from the spirits of three Pokémon which died in the fire that gave the Burned Tower its name. It is a chinese guardian lion-like creature covered in brown fur with a long, thick mane covering its neck. It has gray plates surrounding the cape that makes it look as if smoke is coming out of a crater on its back. Entei has white paws and black cuff-like bands on its legs, It has a red face with a white plate that resembles a handlebar mustache on its face, and a three-pointed yellow crest on its forehead. Entei's head appears to resemble a kabuto, a samurai helmet. Myths say that it is born during the eruption of a volcano, and that a new one is born along with each volcano. It is an embodiment of magma, being able to launch powerfully searing fire that is hotter than magma from its mouth. When it roars, it can make a volcano erupt on another part of the globe. |Number: 245||Type: Water||Does not evolve| Suicune ( スイクン Suikun), known as the Aurora Pokémon, is one of the three "Legendary Beasts" that are featured in Pokémon Gold, Silver, and Crystal. According to legend, the Legendary Beasts were reincarnated by Ho-Oh from the spirits of three Pokémon which died in the fire that gave Burnt Tower its name. Suicune is the reincarnation of north winds. Furthermore, Suicune is thought to have represented the winds and water used to restore the building after it was destroyed by a large fire(Entei), due to a great lightning bolt(Raikou) striking down on the building. Suicune is a blue qilin-like creature, with white diamond-shaped spots and a white underside. Suicune has a purple cape that resembles a northern aurora or a flowing river and two white streamer-like tails, which always seem to be blown by wind from behind it. It has a hexagonal, aquamarine-colored crest on its forehead, red irises, a protrusion on the underside of its chin and small paws. Its paws have a small white oval on their undersides. Suicune has the power to purify dirty water, and can walk across water. Northern winds always seems to blow where ever it shows up. Since Suicune is a member of the Legendary Beast Trio, Suicune races around the land, in search for a pure reservoir. Since its appearance in the Pokémon series, Suicune has received generally positive reception. It has been featured in several forms of merchandise, including figures, plush toys, the Pokémon Trading Card Game, and others. In an interview, Tsunekazu Ishihara, President of The Pokémon Company, described Suicune as well as the other two Legendary Beasts Raikou and Entei as appealing and exciting to both new and old players; he states that they would evoke memories for old players, while new players would be surprised by the random appearance of them. Suicune was included by MTV's Multiplayer Blog as one of the nominees in the "Greatest Canine In Video Game History" article, along with Raikou and Entei, despite the fact that they are not actually meant to be dogs. In the end, however, none of them were chosen by readers or by the panel of judges. GamesRadar called Suicune one of its favourite Pokémon, along with Celebi. In a poll conducted by IGN, it was voted as the 16th best Pokémon, where the staff commented on how "weird and cool" it is, describing it as being "totally based on Japenese [sic] unicorns". |Number: 246||Type: Rock/Ground||Evolves from: None||Evolves into: Pupitar| Larvitar, Yogiras (ヨーギラス Yōgirasu) in original Japanese language versions, is born deep underground where it feeds on dirt in order to reach the surface, and enable it to find its parents. After it has eaten a large mountain or a comparable amount of dirt, it falls into a deep sleep and begins the evolutionary process to evolve into Pupitar. In Pokémon: Master Quest, Ash Ketchum, en route to New Bark Town after winning all eight Johto League badges, is asked to deliver a Pokémon egg to Professor Elm. However, on the way, the egg hatches, and Larvitar was born. Soon afterwards, Professor Elm asks Ash and company to return Larvitar to its home in Mt. Silver. It doesn't open up to anyone except Ash and Pikachu, who nurse it from sickness. This is due to its abduction by a gang of Pokémon poachers as well as the physical harm they caused to its mother, Tyranitar. It eventually opens up to others, and is returned to its mother on Mt. Silver. |Number: 247||Type: Rock/Ground||Evolves from: Larvitar||Evolves into: Tyranitar| Pupitar, Sanagiras (サナギラス Sanagirasu) in original Japanese language versions, is a pupa stage in the process of Larvitar evolving into Tyranitar. Though it is in a shell, it already has developed arms and legs under it. This allows it to thrash about, and have a lot of mobility. This mobility is heightened by it creating a special pressurized gas that can be released to propel itself at high speeds. Using the bedrock toughness of its shell and its natural strength, it can easily topple mountains, and withstand an impact with solid steel. In the anime, Ritchie has a Pupitar named Cruise which is seen from The Mystery is History! to A Promise is a Promise. In the Pokémon Adventures manga, Pupitar first appeared in one of Lance's flashbacks in Volume 12, where he first encountered Silver. He switched out Pupitar to counter the Pursuit from Silver's Murkrow. |Number: 248||Type: Rock/Dark||Evolves from: Pupitar||Evolves into: None| Tyranitar, Bangiras (バンギラス Bangirasu) in original Japanese language versions, is the final evolution of Larvitar. Tyranitar is a large, green, reptilian Pokémon, that appears to have spikes near the end of its tail with the tip of the tail itself being segmented. Tyranitar's feet and hands each have three claws on them. Tyranitar has a blue rhombus on its chest and has two rows of green spikes running down its back. There are black, triangular holes on Tyranitar's knees, chest and back. Tyranitar are extremely strong, and their thick, rocky hides give them a good resistance. Because of this, they are always roaming mountains to seek opponents. If enraged, Tyranitar sets off outstanding earthquakes that can completely change the entire landscape. Tyranitar has the base stat total of a pseudo-legendary, making it one of the current seven pseudo-legendaries. In Pokémon Colosseum, a Tyranitar is considered the "Ultimate Shadow Pokémon", and is owned by the boss of Cipher, Evice. It is not the last Shadow Pokémon, but it is the highest-leveled one. Tyranitar first appeared in the anime in Celebi: Voice of the Forest. It was captured in a Dark Ball and used by the Iron-Masked Marauder. In the Pokémon Adventures manga, Silver was given a Pupitar from Lance. It evolved into Tyranitar prior to Silver's showdown with Gold in Volume 9. Silver remarked that Tyranitar's level was so high that he couldn't control it, and eventually returned Tyranitar to Lance. |Number: 249||Type: Psychic/Flying||Does not evolve| Lugia (ルギア Rugia) are primarily pale silver-white, but have blue undersides with slightly varying tones. They have a somewhat beak-like, ridged mouth, although they have teeth on their lower jaw. Their head has a point to the back, and their eyes have pointed blue spikes on them. Lugia have long slender necks and their bodies are smooth and covered with streamlined feathers, with the exception of dark blue or black spike-like protrusions which run down the length of their back, and two smaller ones on the ends of their tails. They have large wings that resemble hands, similar to a personified bird wing. Lugia possess the ability to calm storms and are said to appear when storms start. They are also said to be able to spawn a storm lasting as long as 40 days by flapping their wings. A light flutter of a Lugia's wings is capable of causing winds powerful enough to blow apart regular houses. Lugia are highly intelligent, and isolate themselves at the bottom of the sea, where they tend to slumber in solitude at the bottom of a deep oceanic trench, in order to avoid accidentally causing damage with their devastating power. Lugia's stats make it one of the best defensive Pokémon in the game, with access to Roost and Recover as well as Multiscale (in the fifth generation and beyond). |Number: 250||Type: Fire/Flying||Does not evolve| Ho-Oh (ホウオウ Hōō), known as the Rainbow Pokémon, is a legendary Pokémon that resembles a phoenix-like bird. In Pokémon folklore, the two towers, the Brass Tower and Tin Tower (known as Bell Tower in HeartGold and SoulSilver) were the roost of Lugia and Ho-Oh, respectively. When the Brass Tower burned down, both Pokémon fled, never to be seen again. Three Pokémon became trapped in the flames of the Brass Tower and perished. Ho-Oh returned to the Burned Tower and resurrected the three Pokémon, who were renamed Raikou, Entei, and Suicune. The name of Ho-Oh comes from the Japanese word for the mythical east Asian phoenix, known in Chinese as Fenghuang.[not in citation given] Ho-Oh is based upon the Huma bird and the Fenghuang, from which its name comes. It is called the Rainbow Pokémon due to its various associations with rainbows. Its feathers constantly change through the rainbow's spectrum of colors as light hits them from different angles. These leave a rainbow trail as it flies continuously through the world's skies, though it is said to live at the foot of a rainbow. It has been observed to be territorial at times when its nest is disturbed. It freely flies the world's skies, only revealing itself to a Trainer with a pure heart. It first appears in the games in Pokémon Gold and Silver, later appearing in subsequent sequels, including the remakes Pokémon HeartGold and SoulSilver. It is the mascot of Gold and HeartGold, and appears on the boxart of both. Ho-Oh appears in Super Smash Bros. Melee and Brawl, available by use of a Poké Ball. Ho-Oh has been seen at many occasions in the anime series. It made its debut appearance in the first episode of the anime, when Ash notices it towards the end of the episode after a thunderstorm, but his PokéDex at the time was told that it was not identified. In Master Quest, after Ash completes the Silver Conference and while he is planning to set out for a new journey, he notices Ho-Oh flying towards the region of Hoenn, and he gets encouraged to go for new adventures in Hoenn. Later in Advanced Generation, Ho-Oh reappeared in Battling the Enemy Within!, when Ash noticed it flying high after losing an informal challenge against Pyramid King Brandon. In the Pokémon Adventures manga, Ho-Oh was used by the Masked Man, however he had lost control over Ho-Oh, and it attacked the Tin Tower. At the Indigo Plateau, Pryce wreaks havoc with Lugia and Ho-Oh under his control. Ho-Oh has extremely high Attack and Special Defense, which can be taken advantage of with powerful physical moves such as Brave Bird and Sacred Fire. IGN ranked Ho-Oh 14th in a list of the "Top 100 Pokémon". They cited its appearance in the first episode "magical", which enticed them to watch to catch it. 1UP.com's Jeremy Parish criticized Ho-Oh's design; he described it as a "a dopey looking fire buzzard" and that it was "closely related" to Cocoa Puffs mascot Sonny. He added that even its name was poor. IGN's "Pokémon of the Day Chick" wrote that Ho-Oh was less "cheap" than its silver counterpart, Lugia, and also it looked more attractive. In an interview, anime director Masamitsu Hidaka stated Ho-Oh's significance to Ash by saying that it is just a plot device to get Ash moving and to show that he is special. |Number: 251||Type: Psychic/Grass||Does not evolve| Celebi (セレビィ Serebī) is a green fairy-like Pokémon. Celebi has round toe-less feet, three-fingered hands, and clear wings on its back. Celebi has a round head that comes to a point and sticks upward in the back. It has large baby-blue eyes, with thick black rings around them, and a pair of green antennae that are tipped blue. Celebi is a time traveling legendary Pokémon that debuted in Pokémon Gold and Pokémon Silver. It is known as the guardian of the forest, where it is worshipped as a god. It wanders through time, visiting various undisturbed old-growth forests during peaceful times, leaving behind flourishing grass and trees. It often leaves behind an egg that it brought from the future. Celebi's continuing existence signifies a good future. - Pokédex: It hates light and shock. If attacked, it inflates its body to pump up its counter-strike. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Gold". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: In order to conceal its black tail, it lives in a dark cave and only moves about at night. Game Freak (2001-07-29). "Pokémon Crystal". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: To keep its pitch black tail hidden, it lives quietly in the darkness. It is never first to attack. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Silver". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: Usually docile, a Wobbuffet strikes back ferociously if its black tail is attacked. It makes its lair in caves where it waits for nightfall. Game Freak (2005-05-01). "Pokémon Emerald". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. - Pokemon Monday 29 - Ditto is a failed Mew clone | GamesRadar - Kunihiko Yuyama (Director). "Tricks of the Trade". Pokémon: The Johto Journeys. Season 3. TV Tokyo. - Pokemon Report: Do Not Want – DS Feature at IGN. Ds.ign.com. Retrieved on October 17, 2011. - Pokemon Crystal Version Pok�mon of the Day: Girafarig (#203) – IGN FAQs. Faqs.ign.com. Retrieved on October 17, 2011. - Pokemon Black Review from. GamePro (March 7, 2011). Retrieved on October 17, 2011. - Six ways in which Pokemon really bothers me. Destructoid. Retrieved on October 17, 2011. - Pokédex: It hangs and waits for flying insect prey to come near. It does not move about much on its own. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Silver". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: PINECO hangs from a tree branch and patiently waits for prey to come along. If the Pokémon is disturbed while eating by someone shaking its tree, it drops down to the ground and explodes with no warning. Game Freak (2003-03-17). "Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. - Pokédex: It spits out a fluid that it uses to glue tree bark to its body. The fluid hardens when it touches air. Game Freak (2001-07-29). "Pokémon Crystal". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Kunihiko Yuyama (Director). "Goin' Apricorn!". Pokémon: The Johto Journeys. Season 3. TV Tokyo. - Pokédex: Its entire body is shielded by a steel-hard shell. What lurks inside the armor is a total mystery. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Gold". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: FORRETRESS conceals itself inside its hardened steel shell. The shell is opened when the Pokémon is catching prey, but it does so at such a quick pace that the shell's inside cannot be seen. Game Freak (2003-03-17). "Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. - Pokédex: It remains immovably rooted to its tree. It scatters pieces of its hard shell to drive its enemies away. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Silver". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Kunihiko Yuyama (Director). "Entei At Your Own Risk". Pokémon: Master Quest. Season 5. TV Tokyo. - Kunihiko Yuyama (Director). "You Can Never Taillow!". Pokémon: Advanced. Season 6. TV Tokyo. - Pokédex: DUNSPARCE has a drill for its tail and it looks like a truck. It uses this tail to burrow into the ground backwards. This Pokémon is known to make its nest in complex shapes deep under the ground. Game Freak (2003-03-17). "Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. - Pokédex: It hides deep inside caves where no light ever reaches it and remains virtually motionless there. Game Freak (2001-07-29). "Pokémon Crystal". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: If spotted it escapes by burrowing with its tail. It can float slightly using its wings. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Silver". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: It usually clings to cliffs. When it spots its prey, it spreads its wings and glides down to attack. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Silver". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: GLIGAR glides through the air without a sound as if it were sliding. This Pokémon hangs on to the face of its foe using its clawed hind legs and the large pincers on its forelegs, then injects the prey with its poison barb. Game Freak (2003-03-17). "Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. - Pokédex: It flies straight at its target's face then clamps down on the startled victim to inject poison. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Gold". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Steelix - #80 Top Pokémon - IGN - Pokemon Crystal Version Pokemon of the Day: Steelix (#208) - IGN FAQs - Pokemon Crystal Version Pokemon of the Day: Ampharos (#181) - IGN FAQs - Dragonlore: From the Archives of the Grey School of Wizardry - Ash Dekirk - Google Boeken - Pokédex: It has an active, playful nature. Many women like to frolic with it because of its affectionate ways. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Silver". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: Although it looks frightening, it is actually kind and affectionate. It is very popular among women. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Gold". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: In truth, it is a cowardly Pokémon. It growls eagerly in order to hide its fear from its opponent. Game Freak (2001-07-29). "Pokémon Crystal". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: By baring its fangs and making scary face impressions, Snubbull sends smaller Pokémon scurrying away in terror. However, this Pokémon seems a little sad at making its foes flee. Game Freak (2003-03-17). "Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. - Brett Elston (Apr 22, 2010). "The most disturbing Pokemon of all time". GamesRadar. Retrieved 2011-01-20. - Pokédex: Because its fangs are too heavy, it always keeps its head tilted down. However, its Bite is powerful. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Silver". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: It is actually timid and easily spooked. If attacked, it flails about to fend off its attacker. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Gold". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Padilla, Raymond. "Pokemusings, week 32". GamesRadar. Retrieved 2010-03-07. - Pokédex: The small spikes covering its body developed from scales. They inject a toxin that causes fainting. Its name contradicts the English language rule that a "q" must be followed by a "u".Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Silver". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: QWILFISH sucks in water, inflating itself. This Pokémon uses the pressure of the water it swallowed to shoot toxic quills all at once from all over its body. It finds swimming somewhat challenging. Game Freak (2003-03-17). "Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. - Pokédex: When faced with a larger opponent, it swallows as much water as it can to match the size of the opponent's size. Game Freak (2001-07-29). "Pokémon Crystal". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: SCIZOR has a body with the hardness of steel. It is not easily fazed by ordinary sorts of attacks. This Pokémon flaps its wings to regulate its body temperature. Game Freak (2003-03-17). "Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. - Elston, Brett. "The complete Pokemon RBY pokedex, part 12". GamesRadar. Future Publishing. p. 3. Retrieved 2009-10-03. - Padilla, Raymond. "Pokemusings, Week 19". GamesRadar. Future Publishing. p. 1. Retrieved 2009-10-16. - Pokemusings, week 19 | GamesRadar - Michael Grimm (Jun 7, 2010). "Pokemon Monday - We size up Scizor". GamesRadar. Future Publishing. Retrieved 2009-10-03. - Staff (2003-08-29). "Pokemon of the Day: #123 Scyther". IGN. IGN Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-10-16. - Staff (2002-10-25). "Pokemon of the Day: #212 Scizor". IGN. IGN Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-10-16. - PokemonOfTheDayHunk (11/6/09). "Pokemon Platinum Version Pokemon of the day: Scizor (#212) - IGN FAQs". IGN. Check date values in: - The Grind: 1UP's RPG Blog : Falling Off the Wagon (And Back into Competitive Pokémon) - Jack. "Scizor - #19 Top Pokémon - IGN". IGN. Retrieved 2011-05-04. - Pokédex: The Berries it stores in its vase-like shell decompose and become a gooey liquid. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Gold". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: SHUCKLE quietly hides itself under rocks, keeping its body concealed inside its hard shell while eating berries it has stored away. The berries mix with its body fluids to become a juice. Game Freak (2003-03-17). "Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. - Pokédex: The fluid secreted by its toes carves holes in rocks for nesting and can be mixed with Berries to make a drink. Game Freak (2001-07-29). "Pokémon Crystal". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: This powerful Pokémon thrusts its prized horn under the enemies' bellies then lifts and throws them. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Gold". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: Usually docile, but if disturbed while sipping honey, it chases off the intruder with its horn. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Silver". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: They gather in forests seeking the sweet sap of trees. It is completely clad in a steel-hard shell. It is proud of its horn, which it uses to fling foes. Game Freak (2005-05-01). "Pokémon Emerald". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. - Pokédex: HERACROSS charges in a straight line at its foe, slips beneath the foe's grasp, and then scoops up and hurls the opponent with its mighty horn. This Pokémon even has enough power to topple a massive tree. Game Freak (2003-03-17). "Pokémon Ruby". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. - Kunihiko Yuyama (Director). "A Sappy Ending". Pokémon: The Johto Journeys. Season 3. TV Tokyo. - Pokédex: Its paws conceal sharp claws. If attacked, it suddenly extends the claws and startles its enemy. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Gold". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: This cunning Pokémon hides under the cover of darkness, waiting to attack its prey. Game Freak (2001-07-29). "Pokémon Crystal". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: SNEASEL scales trees by punching its hooked claws into the bark. This Pokémon seeks out unguarded nests and steals eggs for food while the parents are away. Game Freak (2003-03-17). "Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. - Pokédex: Vicious in nature, it drives Pidgey from their nests and feasts on the eggs that are left behind. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Silver". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: This Pokémon likes to lick its palms that are sweetened by being soaked in honey. TEDDIURSA concocts its own honey by blending fruits and pollen collected by BEEDRILL. Game Freak (2003-03-17). "Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. - Pokédex: It lets honey soak into its paws so it can lick them all the time. Every set of paws tastes unique. Game Freak (2007-04-22). "Pokémon Diamond and Pearl". Nintendo DS. Nintendo. - Pokédex: If it finds honey, its crescent mark glows. It always licks its paws because they are soaked with honey. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Gold". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: Although it has a large body, it is quite skilled at climbing trees. It eats and sleeps in the treetops. Game Freak (2001-07-29). "Pokémon Crystal". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: With its abilities to distinguish any aroma, it unfailing finds all food buried deep underground. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Silver". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: Although it is a good climber, it prefers to snap trees with its forelegs and eat fallen Berries. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Gold". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: A common site in volcanic areas, it slowly slithers around in a constant search for warm places. Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Silver". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Pokédex: It is a species of Pokémon that lives in volcanic areas. If its body cools, its skin hardens and immobilizes it. To avoid that, it sleeps near magma. Game Freak (2005-05-01). "Pokémon Emerald". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. - Pokédex: The shell on its back is made of hardened magma. Tens of thousands of years spent living in volcanic craters have turned MAGCARGO's bodies into magma. Game Freak (2005-05-01). "Pokémon Emerald". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. - Pokédex: MAGCARGO's shell is actually its skin that hardened as a result of cooling. Its shell is very brittle and fragile - just touching it causes it to crumble apart. This Pokémon returns to its original size by dipping itself in magma. Game Freak (2003-03-17). "Pokémon Ruby". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. - Pokédex: MAGCARGO's body temperature is approximately 18,000 degrees F. Water is vaporized on contact. If this Pokémon is caught in the rain, the raindrops instantly turn into steam, cloaking the area in a thick fog. Game Freak (2003-03-17). "Pokémon Sapphire". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. - Pokédex: SWINUB roots for food by rubbing its snout against the ground. Its favorite food is a mushroom that grows under the cover of dead grass. This Pokémon occasionally roots out hot springs. Game Freak (2003-03-17). "Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. - Pokédex: It uses the tip of its nose to dig for food. Its nose is so tough that even frozen ground poses no problem. Game Freak (2001-07-29). "Crystal". Game Boy. Nintendo. - Game Freak (2007-04-22). "Pokémon Pearl". Nintendo DS. Nintendo. Many live in the clean seas of the south. They apparently can't live in polluted waters. - by JC Fletcher on Nov 6th 2007 1:10 pm (2007-11-06). "Obscure Pokemon gets its own limited-edition items". Joystiq. Retrieved 2011-04-05. - IGN Staff (December 21, 2000). "IGN: The Games of Pokémon GS: Part 2". IGN. Retrieved 2010-09-29. - Pokemusings, week 26 | GamesRadar - Pokemon's Ten Most Disturbing Pokedex Entries - ComicsAlliance | Comic book culture, news, humor, commentary, and reviews - ComicsAlliance vs. the Best and Worst of Pokemon - ComicsAlliance | Comic book culture, news, humor, commentary, and reviews - Game Freak (2009-03-22). "Pokémon Platinum". Nintendo DS. Nintendo. It is smart enough to hunt in packs. It uses a variety of cries for communicating with others. - Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Silver". Game Boy Color. Nintendo. To corner prey, they check each other's location using barks that only they can understand. - Shōji Yonemura (writer) (April 14, 2001). "Hour of the Houndour". Pokémon. Season The Johto Journeys. Episode 150. Various. - Thomas East (29 Sep 2010). "Nintendo Feature: Best Fire Pokémon". Official Nintendo Magazine. Retrieved 2011-04-11. - Pokemon: A lesser-known history | GamesRadar - Reader's Choice: The 10 Most Hated Pokemon - DS Feature at IGN - The Grind: 1UP's RPG Blog : Gotta Blog 'Em All #6: Poktoberfest Comes To A Close - East, Thomas. "Best and worst Pokémon names." Official Nintendo Magazine. November 22, 2010. Retrieved on July 25, 2011. - GamesRadar's Thanksgiving Thanks-travaganza | GamesRadar - "Misty Meets Her Match". []. Season 2. 1999-07-01. 09:09 minutes in. TV Tokyo. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Pok%C3%A9mon:_Adventures_on_the_Orange_Islands_episodes. - Hideki Sonoda (July 21, 2000). Pikachu's Rescue Adventure (DVD) . - var authorId = Jack DeVries. "Pokemon: Kristine Catches 'em All - DS Feature at IGN". Ds.ign.com. Retrieved 2011-04-05. - Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Gold". Game Boy Color. Nintendo. The rain clouds it carries let it fire thunderbolts at will. They say that it descended with lightning. - Game Freak (2003-03-17). "Pokémon Ruby". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. Raikou embodies the speed of lightning. The roars of this Pokémon send shock waves shuddering through the air and shake the ground as if lightning bolts had come crashing down. - Game Freak (2001-07-29). "Pokémon Crystal". Game Boy Color. Nintendo. This rough Pokémon stores energy in its body, then sweeps across the land, shooting off electricity. - Game Freak (2007-04-22). "Pokémon Diamond". Nintendo DS. Nintendo. It is said to have fallen with lightning. It can fire thunderbolts from the rain clouds on its back. - Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Silver". Game Boy Color. Nintendo. A Pokémon that races across the land while barking a cry that sounds like crashing thunder. - Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Gold". Game Boy Color. Nintendo. - Game Freak (2004-09-07). "Pokémon FireRed". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. - Game Freak (2010-03-14). "Pokémon HeartGold". Nintendo DS. Nintendo. - "Pokémon | HeartGold and SoulSilver". Retrieved 2010-12-21. - Atsuhiro Tomioka (writer) (June 3/10, 2006). "The Legend of Thunder". Pokémon. Season Pokémon Chronicles. Episode 1-3. Various. - "Iwata Asks - Pokémon HeartGold Version & SoulSilver Version - Nintendo". Nintendo.com. Retrieved 2010-04-09. - "Help Us Name The Greatest Canine In Video Game History (The Dogs And Wolves Edition) " MTV Multiplayer". Multiplayerblog.mtv.com. Retrieved 2011-04-05. - Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Gold". Game Boy Color. Nintendo. Said to be the reincarnation of north winds, it can instantly purify filthy, murky water. - Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Silver". Game Boy Color. Nintendo. This Pokémon races across the land. It is said that north winds will somehow blow whenever it appears. - Game Freak (2001-07-29). "Pokémon Crystal". Game Boy Color. Nintendo. This divine Pokémon blows around the world, always in search of a pure reservoir. - Words: Raymond Padilla, GamesRadar US. "Pokemusings, week 24, Pokemon Diamond/Pearl DS News". GamesRadar. Retrieved 2011-04-05. - Jack. "Suicune - #16 Top Pokémon - IGN". IGN. Retrieved 2011-05-06. - Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Gold". Game Boy Color. Nintendo. Its body can't be harmed by any sort of attack, so it is very eager to make challenges against enemies. - Game Freak (2003-03-17). "Pokémon Ruby". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. Tyranitar is so overwhelmingly powerful, it can bring down a whole mountain to make its nest. This Pokémon wanders about in mountains seeking new opponents to fight. - Game Freak (2000-10-15). "Pokémon Silver". Game Boy Color. Nintendo. Extremely strong, it can change the landscape. It has an insolent nature that makes it not care about others. - "Pokémon Stadium 2: Basics". Guides.ign.com. Retrieved 2011-04-05. - "Ho-Oh Biography". IGN. - Game Freak (2003-03-17). "Pokémon Ruby". Game Boy Advance. Nintendo. Ho-Oh's feathers glow in seven colors depending on the angle at which they are struck by light. These feathers are said to bring happiness to the bearers. This Pokémon is said to live at the foot of a rainbow. - Game Freak (2001-07-29). "Pokémon Crystal". Game Boy Color. Nintendo. It will reveal itself before a pure-hearted trainer by shining its bright rainbow-colored wings. - Shōji Yonemura (writer) (April 1, 1997). "Pokémon, I Choose You!". Pokémon. Season Indigo League. Episode 1. Various. - Atsuhiro Tomioka (writer) (November 7, 2002). "Gotta Catch Ya Later!". Pokémon. Season Master Quest. Episode 275. Various. - Masaru Koyama (writer) (May 25, 2006). "Battling the Enemy Within!". Pokémon. Season Battle Frontier. Episode 452. Various. - "Ho-Oh - #14 Top Pokémon - IGN". IGN. Retrieved 2012-01-20. - Jeremy Parish. "Retro Photo: A Pokemon Mystery Solved at Last". 1UP.com. Retrieved 17 February 2012. - Chick, Pokémon of the Day. "Pokemon Crystal Version Pokémon of the Day: Ho-Oh (#250) - IGN FAQs". IGN Entertainment. IGN. Retrieved 12 March 2012. - "Pokemon Anime director interview with Masamitsu Hidaka". Toonzone.net. Retrieved 13 March 2012.

Latest Okanagan Stories Two Kelowna dentists from Okanagan Smiles are asking for the community’s support to raise money to ship a container filled with educational, agricultural and building supplies for a self-sustaining Collett Manor Working With Star-studded Organization, Delos® KELOWNA, BC, July 31, 2014 /CNW/ - Collett Manor in Kelowna, BC is set to become Canada's first WELL Certified® project, paving Skaha Breeze, located on Skaha Lake Road, is just a four minute drive from the Penticton airport and is now home to a number of residents including some from Alberta who will surely benefit from TAOS SKI VALLEY, N.M., April 22, 2014 /PRNewswire/ -- Taos Ski Valley will this summer launch four new mountain biking trails, including a family friendly biking park that offers something for A group of Kelowna dentists and doctors are reaching out for assistance in acquiring farm equipment and other supplies to ship to Project 7, a self-sustaining children’s orphanage in Haiti. VANCOUVER, March 27, 2014 /CNW/ - The Nature Conservancy of Canada (NCC) and its partners are pleased to announce the acquisition of a 1,836-acre (743-hectare) property in the South Okanagan Similkameen. New Satik(w) Crossing bridge to provide further business opportunities for First Nation PENTICTON, BC, March 18, 2014 /CNW/ - The Penticton Indian Band is set to build a new Centre for Arts and Technology is pleased to announce that on March 24th-28th, over 100 high school students from across Western Canada will attend the school’s popular annual Digital Elite The Centre for Arts and Technology was among 50 exhibitors at this year's 17th annual Education and Career Fair in Kelowna, BC showcasing their career and training options. Kelowna, Canadian Digital Art School, The Centre for Arts and Technology Kelowna, will host an exclusive event on February 5th, 2014 with Gary Fong, covering topics such as marketing, lighting, entrepreneurship Ogopogo is a cryptid lake monster claimed to inhabit Okanagan Lake in British Columbia, Canada. British Cryptozoologist Karl Shuker categorized the Ogopogo as a “many hump” variety of lake monster. He also claims the beast is a primitive serpentine whale similar to a basilosaurus. The original name for this creature was naitaka, which was given to it by the local Okanakane tribe. The name Ogopogo was inspired by the 1924 song “The Ogo-Pogo: The funny Fox-Trot”. It has been... - Monstrous in size or character; huge; prodigious; monstrously perverse, savage, cruel, etc.

Posted by: Loren Coleman on September 24th, 2009 International Cryptozoology Museum due to open in Arts District Nov. 1 By David Carkhuff Staff writer / Portland Daily Sun Bigfoot is moving into the Arts District. But the 8-feet-tall, 400 pound legend won’t lumber down there alone. Look for jackalopes, furred trout, Hollywood cryptid-related props such as a P. T. Barnum-inspired 3.5-foot-tall Feejee Mermaid, the TV series “Freakylinks”‘ 11-foot-long “Mystery Civil War Pterodactyl” and some of the movie Magnolia’s falling frogs. Welcome to the world of cryptozoologist and, as of Nov. 1, public museum curator, Loren Coleman. A day after Halloween, the International Cryptozoology Museum, Coleman’s brainchild, will open to the public at 661 Congress St.. For a $5 admission fee, visitors will be able to browse exhibits while dabbling in Coleman’s chosen field of cryptozoology. “Sure, it’s lighthearted and I think most people who are interested in cryptozoology are interested in the sense of humor part,” Coleman said, but the museum also wants to educate. “The reason that I have all of the fakes is its sort of an educational process,” Coleman explained. “Cryptozoology, the study of hidden animals, has been conceptualized since the 1940s, but the last few years have seen Bigfoot museums and cryptid exhibitions developed in a more organized fashion,” Coleman, a Portland resident, reports on his blog, cryptomundo.com. After 50 years of researching hidden and as-yet undiscovered animals, Coleman has accumulated well over 250 items and exhibits, which means he will end up rotating out probably one fourth of his display every month to fit it all in. The museum will reside in the back of a new book shop, The Green Hand, which is scheduled for a concurrent Nov. 1 opening. Michelle Souliere, who writes on the award-winning Strange Maine blog (not related to the Strange Maine shop on Congress Street, although both were reportedly inspired by similar source material), is opening the book shop, featuring horror, mystery and supernatural classics. (See the related story, The Green Hand reaches toward mystery.) Coleman and Souliere corresponded over the years, and they had entertained the idea of pairing up their business ideas. “She called up about four weeks ago, ‘I’m going to do it, I’m going to open a bookstore, and would you like to rent the back part?'” Coleman recalled. Coleman said he jumped at the chance. Up until now, Coleman has kept his mystery-animal collection in his Portland home. Michelle Souliere stands in front of the office where she plans to start the Green Hand book shop, along with a companion store, the International Cryptozoology Museum on Congress Street. (David Carkhuff Photo) “One of my documentary filmmaker friends said, ‘Wow, Loren, you’ll get your home back.'” “I will [need] a shoehorn to get the 50 years of stuff in,” Coleman confided, speaking during an interview on Tuesday. “I’m going to have my 8-foot tall, 400-pound bigfoot, my coelacanth, the Feejee mermaid from the P.T. Barnum movie. I will have a lot of unique things that no one else in the world has,” Coleman said. His Cryptomundo blog elaborates: “The museum modestly began with sculptures and paintings created just for it, hundreds of cryptids toys and souvenirs from around the world, one-of-a-kind artifacts, a life-size 8-feet tall Bigfoot representation, a full-scale six-foot-long coelacanth model (coelacanths are a new species of fish related to lungfishes and tetrapods found in eastern Africa), over a hundred Bigfoot-Yeti-Yowie footcasts” and sundry other artifacts. … “The centerpiece of the collection is the once elusive eight-feet-tall, 400-pound ‘Crookston Bigfoot,’ created by Wisconsin artist Curtis Christensen, which was permanently added to the collection of the International Cryptozoology Museum in 2004.” Don’t expect camp and over-the-top monster scares in his museum and gallery. “Special drawings, bronzes, paintings, and sculpture creations by the world’s leading cryptozoology artists are featured in the collection, from Richard Klyver, Lee Murphy, Duncan Hopkins, Peter Loh, Steve Goodrich, Bill Rebsamen, Jeff H. Johnson, Erik Gosselin, Paul Dini, and many others,” he wrote. Coleman hopes to bring in five or six volunteers to work as docents and illustrate how cryptozoology pursues answers to nature’s mysteries. Coleman said he doesn’t plan to cut back on his speaking schedule, which takes him all over the world. His blog, cryptomundo.com, is read by upwards of 1.9 million people [during extraordinary weeks], he said. The museum should become a unique attraction to Portland’s Arts District, Coleman said. “That whole area is exploding with development, and it’s changing the neighborhood. I think this will be great to have a museum that will attract people [from] all over the world, not just Portland,” he said. Meanwhile, there’s the move to plan. Five movers will handle the unusual and often delicate exhibits, Coleman said. It should be quite a day for rubberneckers when the Sasquatch is hauled into the book shop. “You don’t see Bigfoot moved every day,” Coleman said. Come see the full-size replicas of a coelacanth, an immature Cadborosaurus, a Sasquatch, a FeeJee mermaid, and some forthcoming surprises! Join hundreds of other members of the cryptozoology community in supporting the International Cryptozoology Museum as it opens in downtown Portland, Maine. Please click on the button below (not the one up top) to take you to PayPal to send in your museum donation. If you wish to send in your donation via the mails, by way of an international money order or, for the USA, via a check (made out to “International Cryptozoology Museum”) or money order, please use this snail mail address: Loren Coleman, Director International Cryptozoology Museum PO Box 360 Portland, ME 04112 Thank you, and come visit the museum at 661 Congress Street, Portland, Maine 04101, beginning November 1, 2009!! This educational/scientific/natural history museum is not a 501(c)3. Loren Coleman is one of the world’s leading cryptozoologists, some say “the” leading. Certainly, he is acknowledged as the current living American researcher and writer who has most popularized cryptozoology in the late 20th and early 21st centuries. Starting his fieldwork and investigations in 1960, after traveling and trekking extensively in pursuit of cryptozoological mysteries, Coleman began writing to share his experiences in 1969. An honorary member of Ivan T. Sanderson’s Society for the Investigation of the Unexplained in the 1970s, Coleman has been bestowed with similar honorary memberships of the North Idaho College Cryptozoology Club in 1983, and in subsequent years, that of the British Columbia Scientific Cryptozoology Club, CryptoSafari International, and other international organizations. He was also a Life Member and Benefactor of the International Society of Cryptozoology (now-defunct). Loren Coleman’s daily blog, as a member of the Cryptomundo Team, served as an ongoing avenue of communication for the ever-growing body of cryptozoo news from 2005 through 2013.

|Sub grouping||Lake monster| |Region||Congo River basin| Mokèlé-mbèmbé, meaning "one who stops the flow of rivers" in the Lingala language, is a legendary water-dwelling creature of Congo River basin folklore, sometimes described as a living creature, sometimes as a spirit, and loosely analogous to the Loch Ness Monster in Western culture. It is claimed to be a sauropod by some cryptozoologists. Expeditions mounted in the hope of finding evidence of the Mokèlé-mbèmbé have failed, and the subject has been covered in a number of books and by a number of television documentaries. According to skeptic Robert T. Carroll, "Reports of the Mokèlé-mbèmbé have been circulating for the past two hundred years, yet no one has photographed the creature or produced any physical evidence of its existence." The Mokèlé-mbèmbé and its associated folklore also appear in several works of fiction and popular culture. - 1 Overview - 2 History - 2.1 1776: Bonaventure - 2.2 1909: Gratz - 2.3 1909: Hagenbeck - 2.4 1913: von Stein - 2.5 1919-1920: Smithsonian Institution - 2.6 1927: Smith - 2.7 1932: Sanderson - 2.8 1938: von Boxberger - 2.9 1939: von Nolde - 2.10 1966: Ridel - 2.11 1976: Powell - 2.12 1979: Powell - 2.13 1979: Thomas - 2.14 1980: Mackal-Powell - 2.15 1981: Mackal-Bryan - 2.16 1981: Regusters - 2.17 1983: Agnagna - 2.18 1985: Nugent - 2.19 1985-1986: Operation Congo - 2.20 1986: Botterweg - 2.21 1988 Japanese expedition - 2.22 1989 O'Hanlon - 2.23 1992 Operation Congo 2 - 2.24 1998: Extreme Expeditions - 2.25 1999: Fay - 2.26 2000: Extreme Expeditions - 2.27 2000: Gibbons - 2.28 2001: CryptoSafari/BCSCC - 2.29 2004: Cryptid Hunters - 2.30 2006: Marcy - 2.31 2006: National Geographic - 2.32 2006: Vice Guide to Travel - 2.33 2008: Destination Truth - 2.34 2009: MonsterQuest - 2.35 2011: Beast Hunter - 2.36 2012: The Newmac Expedition - 3 In popular culture - 4 In cryptozoology - 5 See also - 6 References - 7 Bibliography - 8 External links According to the traditions of the Congo River basin the Mokèlé-mbèmbé is a large territorial herbivore. It is said to dwell in Lake Tele and the surrounding area, with a preference for deep water, and with local folklore holding that its haunts of choice are river bends. Descriptions of the Mokèlé-mbèmbé vary. Some legends describe it as having an elephant-like body with a long neck and tail and a small head, a description which has been suggested to be similar in appearance to that of the extinct Sauropoda, while others describe it as more closely resembling elephants, rhinoceros, and other known animals. It is usually described as being gray-brown in color. Some traditions, such as those of Boha Village, describe it as a spirit rather than a flesh and blood creature. The BBC/Discovery Channel documentary Congo (2001) interviewed a number of tribe members who identified a photograph of a rhinoceros as being a Mokèlé-mbèmbé. Neither species of African rhinoceros is common in the Congo Basin, and the Mokèlé-mbèmbé may be a mixture of mythology and folk memory from a time when rhinoceros were found in the area. Numerous expeditions have been undertaken to Africa in search of Mokèlé-mbèmbé. During these, there were some sightings that have been argued by cryptozoologists to involve some unidentified dinosaur-like creature. Additionally, there have been several specific Mokèlé-mbèmbé-hunting expeditions. Although several of the expeditions have reported close encounters, none have been able to provide incontrovertible proof that the creature exists. The sole evidence that has been found is the presence of widespread folklore and anecdotal accounts covering a considerable period of time. The earliest reference that might be relevant to Mokèlé-mbèmbé stories (though the term is not used in the source) comes from the 1776 book History of Loango, Kakonga, and Other Kingdoms in Africa by Abbé Lievain Bonaventure Proyart, a French missionary to the Congo River region. Among many other observations about flora, fauna, and native inhabitants related in his book, Bonaventure claimed to have seen enormous footprints in the region. The creature that left the prints was not witnessed, but Bonaventure wrote that it "must have been monstrous: the marks of the claws were noted on the ground, and these formed a print about three feet in circumference." According to Lt. Paul Gratz's account from 1909, indigenous legends of the Congo River Basin in modern day Zambia spoke of a creature known by native people as the "Nsanga", which was said to inhabit the Lake Bangweulu region. Gratz described the creature as resembling a sauropod. This is one of the earliest references linking an area legend with dinosaurs, and has been argued to describe a Mokèlé-mbèmbé-like creature. In addition to hearing stories of the "Nsanga" Gratz was shown a hide which he was told belonged to the creature, while visiting Mbawala Island. 1909 saw another mention of a Mokèlé-mbèmbé-like creature, in Beasts and Men, the autobiography of famed big-game hunter Carl Hagenbeck. He claimed to have heard from multiple independent sources about a creature living in the Congo region which was described as "half elephant, half dragon." Naturalist Joseph Menges had also told Hagenbeck about an animal alleged to live in Africa, described as "some kind of dinosaur, seemingly akin to the brontosaurs." Another of Hagenbeck's sources, Hans Schomburgk, asserted that while at Lake Bangweulu, he noted a lack of hippopotami; his native guides informed him of a large hippo-killing creature that lived in Lake Bangweulu; however, as noted below, Schomburgk thought that native testimony was sometimes unreliable. Reports of dinosaur-like creatures in Africa caused a minor sensation in the mass media, and newspapers in Europe and North America carried many articles on the subject in 1910-1911; some took the reports at face value, others were more skeptical. 1913: von Stein Another report comes from the writings of German Captain Freiherr von Stein zu Lausnitz, who was ordered to conduct a survey of German colonies in what is now Cameroon in 1913. He heard stories of an enormous reptile alleged to live in the jungles, and included a description of the beast in his official report. According to Willy Ley, "von Stein worded his report with utmost caution," knowing it might be seen as unbelievable. Nonetheless, von Stein thought the tales were credible: trusted native guides had related the tales to him, and the stories were related to him by independent sources, yet featured many of the same details. Though von Stein's report was never formally published, portions were included in later works, including a 1959 book by Ley. Von Stein wrote: The animal is said to be of a brownish-gray color with a smooth skin, its size is approximately that of an elephant; at least that of a hippopotamus. It is said to have a long and very flexible neck and only one tooth but a very long one; some say it is a horn. A few spoke about a long, muscular tail like that of an alligator. Canoes coming near it are said to be doomed; the animal is said to attack the vessels at once and to kill the crews but without eating the bodies. The creature is said to live in the caves that have been washed out by the river in the clay of its shores at sharp bends. It is said to climb the shores even at daytime in search of food; its diet is said to be entirely vegetable. This feature disagrees with a possible explanation as a myth. The preferred plant was shown to me, it is a kind of liana with large white blossoms, with a milky sap and applelike fruits. At the Ssombo River I was shown a path said to have been made by this animal in order to get at its food. The path was fresh and there were plants of the described type nearby. But since there were too many tracks of elephants, hippos, and other large mammals it was impossible to make out a particular spoor with any amount of certainty. 1919-1920: Smithsonian Institution A 32-man expedition was sent to Africa from the Smithsonian Institution in Washington D.C. between 1919 and 1920. The objective of this expedition was to secure additional specimens of plants and animals. Moving picture photographers from the Universal Film Manufacturing Company accompanied the expedition, in order to document the life of interior Africa. According to cryptozoologists Loren Coleman and Patrick Huyghe, authors of the Field Guide to Lake Monsters, "African guides found large, unexplained tracks along the bank of a river and later in a swamp the team heard mysterious roars, which had no resemblance with any known animal". However, the expedition was to end in tragedy. During a train-ride through a flooded area where an entire tribe was said to have seen the dinosaur, the locomotive suddenly derailed and turned over. Four team members were crushed to death under the cars and another half dozen seriously injured. The expedition was documented in the H.L. Shantz papers. 1927 saw the publication of Trader Horn, the memoir of Alfred Aloysius Smith, who had worked for a British trading company in what is now Gabon in the late 1800s. In the book, Smith related tales told him by natives and explorers about a creature given two different names: "jago-nini" and "amali". The creature was said to be very large, according to Smith, and to leave large, round, three-clawed footprints. Cryptozoologist Ivan T. Sanderson claimed that, while in Cameroon in 1932, he witnessed an enormous creature in the Mainyu River. The creature, seemingly badly wounded, was only briefly visible as it lurched into the water. Darkly colored, the animal's head alone was nearly the size of a hippo, according to Sanderson. His native guides termed the creature "m'koo m'bemboo", in Sanderson's phonetic spelling. 1938: von Boxberger In 1938, explorer Leo von Boxberger mounted an expedition in part to investigate Mokèlé-mbèmbé reports. He collected much information from natives, but his notes and sketches had to be abandoned during a conflagration with local tribesmen. 1939: von Nolde In 1939, the German Colonial Gazette (of Angola) published a letter by Frau Ilse von Nolde, who asserted that she had heard of the animal called "coye ya menia" ("water lion") from many claimed eyewitnesses, both natives and settlers. She described the long necked creature as living in the rivers, and being about the size of a hippo, if not somewhat larger. It was known especially for attacking hippos - even coming on to land to do so - though it never ate them. In 1960, an expedition to Zaire was planned by herpetologist James H. Powell, Jr., scheduled for 1972, but was canceled by legal complications. By 1976, however, he had sorted out the international travel problems, and went to Gabon instead, inspired by the book Trader Horn. He secured finances from the Explorer's Club. Although Powell’s ostensible research aim was to study crocodiles, he also planned to study Mokèlé-mbèmbé. On this journey, Powell located a claimed eyewitness to an animal called "n'yamala", or "jago-nini", which Powell thought was the same as the "amali" of Smith's 1920's books. Natives also stated – without Powell's asking - that "n'yamala" ate the flowering liana, just as von Stein had been told half a century earlier. When Powell showed illustrations of various animals, both alive and extinct, to natives, they generally suggested that the Diplodocus was the closest match to "n'yamala". Powell returned to the same region in 1979, and claimed to receive further stories about "n'yamala" from additional natives. He also made an especially valuable contact in American missionary Eugene Thomas, who was able to introduce Powell to several claimed eyewitnesses. He decided that the n'yamala was probably identical to the Mokèlé-mbèmbé. Though seemingly herbivores, witnesses reported that the creatures were fearsome, and were known to attack canoes that were steered too close. Reverend Eugene Thomas from Ohio, USA, told James Powell and Roy P. Mackal in 1979 a story that involved the purported killing of a Mokèlé-mbèmbé near Lake Tele in 1959. Thomas was a missionary who had served in the Congo since 1955, gathering much of the earliest evidence and reports, and claiming to have had two close-encounters himself. Natives of the Bangombe tribe who lived near Lake Tele were said to have constructed a large spiked fence in a tributary of Tele to keep Mokèlé-mbèmbé from interfering with their fishing. A Mokele-mbembe managed to break through, though it was wounded on the spikes, and the natives then killed the creature. As William Gibbons writes, "Pastor Thomas also mentioned that the two pygmies mimicked the cry of the animal as it was being attacked and speared... Later, a victory feast was held, during which parts of the animal were cooked and eaten. However, those who participated in the feast eventually died, either from food poisoning or from natural causes. I also believe that the mythification (magical powers, etc) surrounding Mokèlé-mbèmbés [sic] began with this incident." Furthermore, Mackal heard from witnesses that the stakes were in the same location in the tributary as of the early 1980s. For his third expedition in February 1980, Powell was joined by Roy P. Mackal. Based on the testimony of claimed eyewitnesses, Powell and Mackal decided to focus their efforts on visiting the northern Congo regions, near the Likouala aux Herbes River and isolated Lake Tele. As of 1980, this region was little explored and largely unmapped, and the expedition was unable to reach Lake Tele. Powell and Mackal interviewed several people who claimed to have seen Mokèlé-mbèmbé, and Clark writes that the descriptions of the creature were "strikingly similar ... animals 15 to 30 feet (5 to 9 m) long (most of that a snakelike head and neck, plus long thin tail). The body was reminiscent of a hippo's, only more bulbous ... again, informants invariably pointed to a picture of a sauropod when shown pictures of various animals to which mokele-mbembe might be compared." Mackal and Powell were interviewed before and after this expedition for the TV program Arthur C. Clarke's Mysterious World. Mackal and Jack Bryan mounted an expedition to the same area in late 1981. He was supposed to be joined by Herman Regusters, but they came in conflict in terms of finance, equipment and leadership and decided to split and make separate expeditions. Although, once again, Mackal was unable to reach Lake Tele, he gathered details on other cryptids and possible living dinosaurs, like the Emela-ntouka, Mbielu-Mbielu-Mbielu, Nguma-monene, Ndendeki (giant turtle), Mahamba (a giant crocodile of 15 meters), and Ngoima (a giant monkey-eating Eagle). Among his company were J. Richard Greenwell, M. Justin Wilkinson, and Congolese zoologist Marcellin Agnagna. The 1981 expedition would feature the only "close encounters" of the Mackal expeditions. It occurred when, while on a river, they heard a loud splash and saw what Greenwell described as "[a] large wake (about 5") ... originating from the east bank". Greenwell asserted that the wake must have been caused by an "animate object" that was unlike a crocodile or hippo. Additionally, Greenwell noted that the encounter occurred at a sharp river bend where, according to natives, Mokèlé-mbèmbé frequently lived due to deep waters at those points. 1987 saw the publication of Mackal's book, A Living Dinosaur?, in which Mackal detailed his expedition and his conclusions about the Mokèlé-mbèmbé. Mackal tried, unsuccessfully, to raise funds for additional trips to Africa. In 1981, American engineer Herman Regusters led his own Mokèlé-mbèmbé expedition, after having a conflict with the Mackal-Bryan expedition that he intended to join. Regusters and his wife Kai reached Lake Tele, staying there for about two weeks. Of the 30 expedition members (28 were men from the Boha village), only Herman Regusters and his wife claim to have observed a "long-necked member" traveling across Lake Tele. They also claim to have tried filming the being, but said their motion picture film was ruined by the heat and humidity. Only one picture was released showing a large, but unidentifiable, object in the lake. The Regusters expedition returned with droppings and footprint casts, which Regusters believed were from the mokele-mbembe. It also returned with sound recordings of "low windy roar [that] increased to a deep throated trumpeting growl", which Regusters believed to be the Mokèlé-mbèmbé's call. This recording was submitted for technical evaluation with a noted zoological source, but were inconclusive, except to note that the sounds were not attributable to any known wildlife. Despite this result, Regusters' conclusions about this tape were later challenged by Mackal, who asserted that the Mokèlé-mbèmbé did not have a vocal call. Mackal asserts that vocalizations are more correctly associated with the Emela-ntouka, a similarly described creature found in the Central African legends. Herman Alphanso Regusters died on 19 December 2005, aged 72. Congolese biologist Marcellin Agnagna led the 1983 expedition of Congolese to Lake Tele. According to his own account, Agnagna claimed to have seen a Mokèlé-mbèmbé at close distance for about 20 minutes. He tried to film it, but said that in his excitement, he forgot to remove the motion picture camera's lens cap. In a 1984 interview, Agnagna claimed, contradictorily, that the film was ruined not because of the lens cap, but because he had the Super 8 camera on the wrong setting: macro instead of telephoto. In December 1985 Rory Nugent spotted an anomaly moving through the middle of Lake Tele, approximately 1 kilometer from his position on the shore. In his account published as a book, Nugent claimed that it was shaped like a "slender french curve" and moving through the water with little wake. When he went to launch a boat to investigate he was ordered at gunpoint by the natives not to approach it. Nugent wrote that they view the creature as a god "that you can not approach, but if he chooses, this god can approach you." He also provided some pictures, which are too blurry to be identifiable. 1985-1986: Operation Congo Operation Congo took place between December 1985 and early 1986 by "four enthusiastic but naïve young Englishmen," led by Young Earth Creationist William Gibbons, They hired Agnagna to take them to Lake Tele, but did not report any Mokèlé-mbèmbé sightings. The British men did, however, assert that Agnagna did "little more than lie, cheat and steal (our film and supplies) and turn the porters against us." After criminal charges were filed against him, a Congolese court ordered Agnagna to return the items he had taken from the expedition. Although the party found no evidence of the Mokèlé-mbèmbé, they discovered a new subspecies of monkey, which was later classified as the Crested mangabey monkey (Cerocebus galeritus), as well as fish and insect specimens. In 1986 another expedition was mounted, consisting of four Dutchmen, organized and led by Dutch biologist Ronald Botterweg, who already had experience with tropical rainforest research in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and who later visited, lived, and worked in several African countries. This expedition entered the Congo down the Ubangi River from Bangui in the Central African Republic, and managed, with considerable organizational challenges, to reach Lake Tele, with a group of guides from the village of Boha, some of which had also accompanied Regusters. Since they had only managed to obtain permission from the local authorities (not having passed by Brazzaville) for a very limited period in the area, they only spent about three days at the lake before returning to Boha. During their stay at the lake they spent as much time as possible observing the lake and its surroundings through from their provisional camp on the north-eastern shore, and navigating part of it by dug-out canoe. No signs of any large unknown animal were found. On the way back, arriving at the town of Impfondo, they were detained by Congolese biologist Agnagna and his team, who had just arrived there for an expedition with the British team of Operation Congo, allegedly for not possessing the proper documents. They were detained for a short while, and the largest part of their film and color slides were confiscated, before being released and leaving the country (again by the Ubangui river and Bangui). No signs, tracks or anything tangible or visible of the alleged animals was seen or shown whatsoever. Tracks, droppings, and other signs of forest elephants and gorillas were commonly seen, as well as crocodiles in the lake. Despite the fact that the African guides were extremely capable and experienced hunters, guides and experts of the African rainforest, they were not able to show any track or sign of the Mokèlé-mbèmbé and none of the several interviewed guides even claimed ever to have seen one personally, nor its tracks. Remarkable is the fact that the guides that were interviewed by the Dutch expedition and that also accompanied Regusters, stated that they never saw a Mokèlé-mbèmbé during that expedition, although Regusters himself claims to have seen one. This expedition received some attention in the Dutch media (radio, TV, and newspapers) from 1985 to 1987, and again in a nostalgic radio show by Dutch radio station KRO on channel Radio 2, on 7 March 2011. Furthermore, this expedition features in a slightly romanticized form as a short story by Dutch novelist author Margriet de Moor ('Hij Bestaat', meaning It exists, in the novel 'Op de Rug Gezien', meaning Seen from behind). 1988 Japanese expedition In 1988 a Japanese expedition went to the area, led by the Congolese wildlife official Jose Bourges. In 1992, members of a Japanese film crew allegedly filmed video Mokele-mbembe.[not in citation given] As they were filming aerial footage from a small plane over the area of Lake Tele, intending to obtain some shots for a documentary, the cameraman noticed a disturbance in the water. He struggled to maintain focus on the object, which was creating a noticeable wake. About 15 seconds of footage was captured, which skeptics have identified as either two men in a canoe or swimming elephants. British writer Redmond O'Hanlon traveled to the region in 1989 and not only failed to discover any evidence of Mokèlé-mbèmbé but found out that many local people believe the creature to be a spirit rather than a physical being, and that claims for its authentic existence have been fabricated. His experience is chronicled in Granta no. 39 (1992) and in his book Congo Journey (UK, 1996), published as No Mercy in the USA (1997). 1992 Operation Congo 2 William Gibbons launched a second expedition in 1992 which he dubbed "Operation Congo 2". Along with Rory Nugent, Gibbons searched almost two thirds of the Bai River along with two poorly charted lakes: Lake Fouloukuo and Lake Tibeke, both of which local folklore held to be sites of Mokèlé-mbèmbé activity. The expedition failed to provide any conclusive evidence of the Mokèlé-mbèmbé, though they did further document local legends and Nugent took two photographs of unidentified objects in the water, one of which he claimed was the creature's head. [not in citation given] 1998: Extreme Expeditions The Extreme Expeditions team was set to travel to the Likouala Region, however the 1997-1999 civil war made this impossible. The 1999 MegaTransect into the wilderness of the Congo basin by the biologist and Africa explorer J. Michael Fay did not reveal any trace of the Mokèlé-mbèmbé. However, the trek did not pass through the Likouala and Lake Tele regions. 2000: Extreme Expeditions In January 2000, the Congo Millennium Expedition (aka. DINO2000) took place, the second one by Extreme Expeditions, consisting of Andrew Sanderson, Adam Davies, Keith Townley, Swedish explorer Jan-Ove Sundberg, and five others. (Adam Davies has spoken of the Mokèlé-mbèmbé on a 2011 BBC video.) In November 2000, William Gibbons did some preliminary research in Cameroon for a future expedition. He was accompanied by David Wetzel, and videographer Elena Dugan. While visiting with a group of pygmies, they were informed about an animal called Ngoubou, a horned creature. The pygmies asserted it was not a regular rhinoceros, as it had more than one horn (six horns on the frill in one eyewitness account), and that the father of one of the senior members of the community had killed one with a spear a number of years ago. The locals have noted a firm dwindle in the population of these animals lately, and that they are hard to find. Gibbons identified the animal with a Styracosaurus, but, in addition to being extinct, these are only known to have inhabited North America. In February 2001, in a joint venture between CryptoSafari and the British Columbia Scientific Cryptozoology Club (BCSCC), a research team traveled to Cameroon consisting of William Gibbons, Scott T. Norman, John Kirk and writer Robert A. Mullin. Their local guide was Pierre Sima Noutchegeni. They were also accompanied by a BBC film crew. No evidence of Mokèlé-mbèmbé was found. 2004: Cryptid Hunters In December 2004 Roland Smith published the book Cryptid Hunters, which includes a search for the elusive creature at Lake Tele in the Congo. In the sequels, "Tentacles" and "Chupacabra", they also pursued the kraken and the chupacabra, also known as the "goat sucker". In "Cryptid Hunters", one of the characters stated that he thought that it may be an animal grown in a lab. In January 2006, the Milt Marcy Expedition traveled to the Dja river in Cameroon, near the Congolese border. It consisted of Milt Marcy, Peter Beach, Rob Mullin and Pierre Sima. They spoke to witnesses that claimed to have observed a Mokèlé-mbèmbé only two days before, but they did not discover the animal themselves. However, they did return with what they believe to be a plaster cast of a Mokèlé-mbèmbé footprint. 2006: National Geographic A May 2006 episode called "Super Snake" of the National Geographic series Dangerous Encounters included an expedition headed by Brady Barr to Lake Tele. No unknown animals were found. 2006: Vice Guide to Travel In 2006, David Choe travelled to the Republic of Congo in search of the creature for Vice in the segment The Last Dinosaur of the Congo. Choe and his companions failed to find the animal and the focus of the documentary turned to the rituals of their Pygmy guides. 2008: Destination Truth In March 2008, an episode of the SyFy (formerly the SciFi Channel) series Destination Truth involved investigator Joshua Gates and crew searching for the creature. They did not visit the Likouala Region, which includes Lake Tele, but they visited Lake Bangweulu in Zambia instead, which had reports of a similar creature in the early 20th century, called the "'nsanga". The crew of Destination Truth kept calling the animal "Mokèlé-mbèmbé" to the locals, when that name is only used in the Republic of the Congo. The name used in that particular spot is "chipekwe". Their episode featured a videotaped encounter filmed from a great distance. On applying digital video enhancement techniques, the encounter proved to be nothing more than two submerged hippopotami. In March 2009 an episode of the History Channel series MonsterQuest involved William Gibbons, Rob Mullin, local guide Pierre Sima and a two-man film crew from White Wolf Productions. It took place in Cameroon, in the region of Dja River, Boumba River, and Nkogo River, near the border with the Republic of the Congo. The episode aired in the summer of 2009, and also featured an interview with Roy P. Mackal and Peter Beach of the Milt Marcy Expedition, 2006. While no sightings were reported on the expedition, the team found evidence of a large underground cave with air vents. The team also received sonar readings of very long, serpentine shapes underwater. 2011: Beast Hunter 2012: The Newmac Expedition In April 2012 Stephen McCullah & Sam Newton launched a Kickstarter campaign to fund an expedition to the Congo region to search for Mokele-mbembe. Despite raising some $29,000 the expedition suffered financial difficulties and is believed to have been abandoned shortly after the party reached the Congo in July 2012. In popular culture Several films based on the Mokele Mbembe legend have been released. The film Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend, starring William Katt, was released in 1985. Another film, The Dinosaur Project, starring Richard Dillane, was released in 2012. In May 2013 the Norwegian experimental music outfit "Sturle Dagsland" released a song entitled "Mokèlé-mbèmbé". According to science writer and cryptozoologist Willy Ley, while there are sufficient anecdotal accounts to suggest "that there is a large and dangerous animal hiding in the shallow waters and rivers of Central Africa", the body of evidence remains insufficient for any realistic conclusions to be drawn on what the Mokèlé-mbèmbé may be. According to the writings of biologist and cryptozoologist Roy Mackal, who mounted two unsuccessful expeditions to find it, it is unlikely that the Mokèlé-mbèmbé is a mammal or an amphibian, leaving a reptile as the only plausible candidate. Of all the living reptiles, Mackal argues that the iguana and the monitor lizards bear the closest resemblance to the Mokèlé-mbèmbé, though, at 15 to 30 feet (9.1 m) long, the Mokèlé-mbèmbé would exceed the size of any known living examples of such reptiles. Mackal believes the description of the Mokèlé-mbèmbé is "consistent with a small sauropod dinosaur", although new discoveries regarding sauropods prove this to be inaccurate, as shown by paleontologists such as Darren Naish. Mackal also judged the existence of an undiscovered relict sauropod to be plausible on the grounds that there were large amounts of uninhabited and unexplored territory in the region where a creature might live, and on the grounds that other large creatures such as elephants exist in the region, living in large open clearings (called "bai") as well as in thicker wooded areas. However, other researchers have argued against the existence of Mokele Mbembe. According to Daniel Loxton and Donald Prothero, the conventional image of Mokele Mbembe held by cryptozoologists such as Roy Mackal is based on an outdated image of sauropod dinosaurs from the early twentieth century. For example, most sauropods did not live in swampy areas and subsist on aquatic plants. Instead, they lived in seasonally dry woodlands and ate tough conifers and cycads. This suggests that Mokele Mbembe sightings are not of a real sauropod dinosaur population but are instead the attempts of cryptozoologists to fit ambiguous eyewitness accounts into an outdated image of sauropod dinosaurs. Loxton and Prothero also argue that a surviving population of sauropod dinosaurs would leave behind skeletal remains like other large animals do and the rich fossil record of Africa should contain dinosaur bones younger that 65 million years old if a group of non-avian dinosaurs had survived to the present. The absence of this evidence despite several centuries of Western contact with the region and numerous expeditions in search of the animal argues against the existence of Mokele Mbembe. 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[page needed]) - prex98Congo5[dead link] - prexpage[dead link] - Hebblethwaite, Cornelia (28 December 2011). "The hunt for Mokele-mbembe: Congo's Loch Ness Monster". BBC. Retrieved June 2013. - Kirk, John (9 April 2006). "The Ngoubou". Cryptomundo.com. Retrieved June 2013.[self-published source?] - "Mokele Mbembe". The British Columbia Scientific Cryptozoology Club. Retrieved June 2013. - Coleman, Loren (3 February 2006). "Mokèlé-mbèmbé Expedition Update". Cryptomundo.com. Retrieved June 2013.[self-published source?] - Cordes, Nancy; Lee, Rebecca (5 December 2006). "A "Vice" Vacation without leaving home". abc News. Retrieved June 2013. - Coleman, Loren (2 March 2009). "Mokele-Mbembe Expedition II Departs". Cryptomundo.com. Retrieved June 2013.[self-published source?] - "Swamp Monster of the Congo". National Geographic. Retrieved June 2013. - Burke, Bill (13 March 2011). "Pat Spain tracks monsters on ‘Beast Hunter’". Boston Herald. Retrieved 20 March 2011. - Stephen McCullah. "Documentary Expedition to Congo- KILLER REWARDS!!!". Retrieved February 2013. - idoubtit (15 April 2012). "Cryptozoology expedition to Congo is on Kickstarter (Updated: no scientists)". Doubtful News. Retrieved February 2013. - idoubtit (13 October 2012). "Whatever happened to the trip to the Congo to look for Mokele-mbembe?". Doubtful News. Retrieved February 2013. - Marrero, Joe (19 July 2012). "So what happened to the Newmac Expedition?". Joemarrero.com. Retrieved June 2013. - Sparrow, Joe (7 May 2013). "Sturle Dagsland: Alien Nightclubs". AnNewBandADay.Com. Retrieved January 2015. - (Ley 1966, p. 74) - Loxton, Daniel; Prothero, Donald R. (2013). Abominable Science! Origins of the Yeti, Nessie, and Other Famous Cryptids. New York: Columbia University Press. p. 288. ISBN 9780231153201. - Clark, Jerome (1993). Unexplained! 347 Strange Sightings, Incredible Occurrences, and Puzzling Physical Phenomena. Visible Ink Press. ISBN 0-8103-9436-7. - Coleman, Loren (2003). The Field Guide to Lake Monsters, Sea Serpents, and Other Mystery Denizens of the Deep. New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher. ISBN 1-58542-252-5. - Gibbons, William J., Missionaries And Monsters; Coachwhip Publications, 2006 - Leal, M. E., 2004. The African rainforest during the Last Glacial Maximum, an archipelago of forests in a sea of grass; Wageningen: Wageningen University: ISBN 90-8504-037-X - Ley, Willy (1966). Exotic Zoology. New York: Capricorn Books. (trade paperback edition) - Mackal, Roy P. (1987). A Living Dinosaur? In Search of Mokele-Mbembe. E.J. Brill. ISBN 90-04-08543-2. - Ndanga, Alfred Jean-Paul (2000) 'Réflexion sur une légende de Bayanga: le Mokele-mbembe', in Zo, 3, 39-45. - Nugent, Rory (1993). Drums along the Congo: on the trail of Mokele-Mbembe, the last living dinosaur. Boston: Houghton Mifflin. ISBN 0-395-58707-7. - Redmond O'Hanlon, No Mercy: A Journey Into the Heart of the Congo, 1997 - Regusters, H.A.(1982) Mokele - Mbembe: an investigation into rumors concerning a strange animal in the Republic of the Congo, 1981 (Munger Africana library notes, vol. 64). Pasadena: California Institute of Technology (CIT). http://www.cryptoarchives.com/1900/1980/1981-regusters.pdf - Shuker, Karl P.N., In Search of Prehistoric Survivors. London: Blandford, 1995: ISBN 0-7137-2469-2 - Sjögren, Bengt, Berömda vidunder, Settern, 1980, ISBN 91-7586-023-6 (Swedish) - African Pygmies Culture and mythology of pygmy peoples from the Congo River basin - Episode 43 - "Crypt O’ Zoology: Dinosaurs in Africa!" of the Monster Talk podcast which features an interview with Dr. Donald Prothero about his involvement with the 2009 MonsterQuest expedition to find Mokele-Mbembe. - Prothero, Donald (22 June 2011). "A Living Dinosaur in the Congo? (Part 1)". Skepticblog.org. Retrieved June 2013. - Prothero, Donald (29 June 2011). "A Living Dinosaur in the Congo? (Part 2)". Skepticblog.org. Retrieved June 2013.

Posted by: Craig Woolheater on February 25th, 2014 I missed this episode of Face Off when it originally aired, but it airs again tonight, February 25 at 7:00 PM Central on SyFy. Check out the morphs for season 6, episode 6, “Cryptic Creatures”. Season 6 – Episode 6 recap In one of the toughest Foundation Challenges in Face Off history, the contestants, working in pairs, must create a fighting band of ten orcs – one leader and nine followers – in two and a half hours. To add even more juice to the challenge, makeup magnifico Howard Berger (of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe and Breaking Bad fame) will be judging the final product. The winner will not only get the respect of an industry hero, but also score immunity going into the Spotlight Challenge. Corinne and Matt are paired up, and Corinne leads them in a gorgeous sponge paint design that yields a gruesome, vivid result. Their orc leader is also a fierce visage, and so Howard names her the winner. Next thing you know, the artists find themselves in a swamp, learning that their Spotlight Challenge – also done in pairs – will be to bring to life a creepy cryptid. To give them some pointers on how to aim their creativity is Doug Jones, character performer from such fantasias as Pan’s Labyrinth and Hellboy. When he dons an otherworldly makeup, he says, he still needs to know that it feels organic – otherwise, he’s just a guy in a suit, and not a real monster. Matt chooses to work with Corinne again, since they had such great chemistry in the Foundation Challenge, and the two start designing their cryptid, the Jersey Devil, a Jersey native that’s a cross between a demon, a kangaroo, and a human. Chloe and Tyler, who chose the Mapinguari, struggle with the fact that it’s said to be furry and have a giant mouth on its belly. Baked-in faces and fun fur are two of the judges’ bugaboos, but if the story calls for it, the story will have it! Back at the lab, Tyler starts work on the belly face, and while he and Chloe are still nervous about their choices, they have to laugh at the giant tongue and gnarly teeth he’s creating. Niko and George team up to form the Puerto Rican Powerhouse – they have very few issues beyond a sticky mold – par for the course in this world! Cat’s frustration with Daran is high – he’s not taking in her suggestions for their Chupacabra, and even asks her to hold cups of glue come application day. She’s not happy with the final result, and regrets not taking a stronger stand for her ideas when it counted. Rashaad and Graham split work on their Bunyip (an Australian creature that resembles a feathered crocodile) and Glenn gives them the sparkling praise that the cowl and face look like they were sculpted by the same artist. Heaps of seemingly disparate elements go into the Bunyip’s story, and since Rashaad and Graham do a jaw-dropping job of incorporating ALL of them, they land in top looks. Guest judge Doug Jones has a soft spot for this makeup, in particular. Also in top looks are Niko and George, and in a pleasant surprise to the artists themselves, so are Chloe and Tyler. The judges love that they took a color of fun fur that wasn’t atrocious to begin with, and then treated it with goo and dirt to make it look like it could actually be growing out of a cryptid’s body. They also find the treatment of the belly mouth to be nuanced and fascinating, and it’s Tyler who wins the top prize for the week. His second win gives him all the animation and ecstasy you would expect from our favorite bundle of energy. In bottom looks are Cat and Daran (conflict in the lab always leads to conflict in the makeup) and Corinne and Matt – well, their makeup lands in bottom looks, but since Corinne has immunity, she’s safe in the makeup room while Matt takes the platform. The judges felt he and Corinne just didn’t do as much work as the other teams, and since Corinne has immunity, Matt must take the brunt for the shoddy wings and limp emotional impact of the piece. He’s sent home this week, but is better for his experience and determined to put his lessons to good use in the real world. Co-founder of Cryptomundo in 2005. I have appeared in or contributed to the following TV programs, documentaries and films: OLN's Mysterious Encounters: "Caddo Critter", Southern Fried Bigfoot, Travel Channel's Weird Travels: "Bigfoot", History Channel's MonsterQuest: "Swamp Stalker", The Wild Man of the Navidad, Destination America's Monsters and Mysteries in America: Texas Terror - Lake Worth Monster, Animal Planet's Finding Bigfoot: Return to Boggy Creek and Beast of the Bayou.

Press Release Distribution Jeannette Latest News (Pennsylvania, United States)+ XML/RSS 287 views, By Beyond the Edge Radio The best in alternative and paranormal radio is once again on the air...with fresh topics, great guests and an all around good time. You never know what to expect. 456 views, By Jeff Rickel - DxAdvertising.com Reflex Orthopedics & Sports Medicine Opens on September 8th in Delmont, PA 364 views, By Jeff Rickel - DxAdvertising.com Over the past 25 years, ITSENCLOSURES, has expanded its client base and is a recognized leader in quality, service, application and affordability in the enclosure market. 1687 views, By Dimension X Advertising & Marketing EIC Solutions has launched a new DVR Cooler. 1019 views, By Beyond The Edge Radio We welcome Mike Frizzell Director of the Enigma Project to our show on Friday January 18, 2008. Mike and the Enigma Project are a group of dedicated scientific minded individuals who investigate claims of the paranormal and cryptid animals. Page updated every 30 minutes

The maps in Devastation are some of the most visually appealing in a Call of Duty game. Unique, interesting and make for interesting combat engagements you’ll be taken from Mexico right up to New York. A fan favourite map from Modern Warfare 3 also returns with a brand new makeover and some very interesting new features… Ghosts DLC 2 Devastation Release Dates: Xbox 360 & Xbox One: April 3, 2014 PC, PS3 & PS4: TBA “PREPARE YOURSELF FOR DEVASTATION, THE SECOND DLC PACK FOR CALL OF DUTY®: GHOSTS, FEATURING: FOUR UNIQUE MULTIPLAYER MAPS, AN ALL-NEW TACTICAL 2-IN-1 SUB MACHINE GUN AND ASSAULT RIFLE, AND EPISODE 2: MAYDAY – THE NEXT INSTALLMENT IN EXTINCTION’S FOUR-PART EPISODIC NARRATIVE.” Situated on a massive excavation vehicle, Behemoth is a narrow multi-level map, giving players flanking opportunities with danger around every corner. Complete the map’s Field Order and take control of an attack helicopter able to rain down destruction from above with devastating grenade launchers. A mountaintop Mayan ruin overrun by the jungle, Ruins’ skyline is dominated by an ominous volcano on the brink of eruption. This map blends the verticality of a dominant temple with tight subterranean sections. Inspired by Dome, the fan-favorite map from Call of Duty®: Modern Warfare® 3, Unearthed drops players in the heart of an alien dig site. This small map asks players to navigate through Cryptid artifacts, a mix of high-tech HAZMAT facilities, scientific equipment and vehicles. Players skilled enough to complete Unearthed’s unique Field Order will be able to unleash three Cryptid alien creatures, delivering an explosive end to their foes. The mangled remains of cargo ship crashed into a New York bridge, ripe with burnt out vehicles and shipping containers strewn across the deck, this map provides the ideal theatre for close-quarters combat. Unlock the map’s unique Killstreak by completing the Field Order, and use the full arsenal of an A-10 Warthog aircraft to strafe the full length of the map. Extinction – Episode 2: In Episode 2: Mayday, the Quick Reaction Force team is sent in to investigate a high-tech ghost ship adrift in the South Pacific. To deal with the insidious wall-crawling “Seeder” and skyscraper-sized monstrosity known as the “Kraken,” your team will need new tactics and new weapons. The Ripper is the ideal weapon companion for DEVASTATION’s mix of multiplayer maps. Providing players with two different configurations: medium to short-range capability as a Sub Machine-Gun (SMG), and medium to long-range as an Assault Rifle (AR). This unique 2-in-1 weapon has the ability to switch from SMG to AR and back again on the fly in the midst of battle, at the touch of a button, giving maximum flexibility to adjust to a variety of map types and tactics.

Archive for the “Lake Monsters” Posted by: Craig Woolheater on September 13th, 2014 Mention lake monsters and everyone immediately thinks of the Loch Ness Monster, or Nessie, depending on how familiar they are with the creature. However, lake monster stories and folklore can be found on almost every country on the planet, and the U.S. is no different. Here, in our own backyard, a strange creatures is rumored to inhabit the murky depths of Lake Pepin, the widest naturally occurring part of the Mississippi River. Read: Pepie: The Lake Monster of the Mississippi River Reviewed » Posted by: John Kirk on September 12th, 2014 Photographer Ellie Williams captured this amazing image of what she believes to be a creature from the deep while taking snaps in the Lake District. The 24-year-old had set up her camera tripod to automatically take photos throughout the day at Windermere. Read: Bownessie Captured on Photo? » Posted by: Nick Redfern on September 8th, 2014 For more than ten years, amateur folklorist Todd H. C. Fischer has researched hundreds of creatures, monsters, strange locales, heroes and spirits from all across Canada, collecting them here, for the first time, in one comprehensive volume. Read: A Canadian Bestiary » Posted by: Craig Woolheater on September 7th, 2014 Russian Serpent – For centuries, strange reports of a large, underwater creature have come from people living near the remote Lake Labynkyr in Siberia. Read: Siberian Lake Serpent » Posted by: Nick Redfern on September 2nd, 2014 “I particularly enjoy books that are regional in nature, as they generally offer deep insight into a case that, without that personal, in-the-field approach, would probably remain buried in obscurity. And, I have to say, the Lewis-Voss book does not disappoint.” Read: Pepie The Lake Monster » Posted by: John Kirk on August 28th, 2014 My mates and I will be doing our damnedest to find the elusive Mokele-mbembe in the next year or so. Read: Mokele-Mbembe Expedition 2015 » Posted by: John Kirk on August 28th, 2014 An Icelandic truth commission has found a video depicting floating debris is the Lagarfljot lake cryptid. They got it so wrong. You can decide for yourself here on Cryptomundo… Read: Truth Commission: Lake Monster Does Exist » Posted by: Craig Woolheater on August 23rd, 2014 Bigfoot makes a public appearance in support of ALS sufferers by doing the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. He calls out the Yeti, the Lochness Monster, Bigfoot Fans, and Matt Moneymaker of Finding Bigfoot to participate in the ALS Ice bucket Challenge and/or donate to the ALS Association to do your part! Read: Bigfoot Ice Bucket Challenge for ALS » Posted by: Nick Redfern on August 22nd, 2014 “In the Wasdale Valley Cumbria is Wastwater, a deep and mysterious lake…” Read: The Monster of Wasdale Valley » Posted by: Craig Woolheater on August 21st, 2014 Alan Landsburg, Creator of In Search Of…, passed away on August 14, 2014. Read: In Search Of… Creator Dies » Posted by: Nick Redfern on August 20th, 2014 “…the presumed advantage of a land sighting is that we get to see much more of the creature as opposed to when it is in the water…” Read: Nessie – The Land Encounters » Posted by: Craig Woolheater on August 19th, 2014 They are the 20th Century’s most monstrous icons and have sparked fear and fascination from the Highlands to Hollywood. But now it has been claimed that King Kong gave birth to the myth of the Loch Ness monster. Read: Did King Kong Inspire the Loch Ness Monster? » Posted by: Katy Elizabeth on August 16th, 2014 Champ Search founder Katy Elizabeth Huling says the Lake Champlain monster has already been sighted several times this summer. Read: Champing at the Bit: The Search Continues » Posted by: Nick Redfern on August 14th, 2014 “It’s time for some Nessie culture again as the Commonwealth Games opened in Glasgow last week…” Read: Nessie and the Commonwealth Games » Posted by: Craig Woolheater on August 9th, 2014 An archeologist mounts an expedition and discovers a secret more terrifying than he could possibly imagine. Some creatures aren’t just real, they’re unbelievable. Read: Ragnarok: Norse Lake Monster Movie »

I have tried desperately to not be distracted by the mysterious rodents, new gigantic dinosaurs and Iberian lynxes that have been on my mind lately – plus lots of things are happening with the ‘Dinosaurs – A Historical Perspective’ conference that I’m co-organising with Dick Moody, Eric Buffetaut and Dave Martill (to be held in May 2008: more news later). Before the whole white squirrel thing, I was talking about cryptozoology (here), in particular on the ideas that (1) a cryptid is any animal reported from anecdotal data (i.e., it does not have to be a ‘monster’), and that (2) given that cryptozoology is the investigation of cryptids, any worker who investigates a cryptid is doing cryptozoological research. My assertions seem to have drawn a fairly equal amount of agreement and disagreement, and thanks to everyone who has proffered an opinion. Some of the opinions have arrived in emails – apologies if I haven’t replied yet, I am becoming increasingly ineffective at dealing with emails due to sheer volume. Anway: here, we continue (part I is mandatory reading before you proceed. Again, remember that this text was written to be delivered as a talk, so some of it doesn’t quite make sense when seen as written text)… If we’re studying eyewitness accounts of such former cryptids as Mountain gorillas, Okapis and Komodo dragons, and those accounts pre-date the official discovery of these species, does this mean that this research is cryptozoological? The obvious answer is yes, but in admitting this we’re saying that a substantial amount of research on the history of zoological exploration and discovery was and is cryptozoological in scope. But here we come to a problem: not all the scientists who do research on the history of discovery of such things as the okapi, the Mountain gorilla, the Komodo dragon and so on, call themselves cryptozoologists… they would instead regard themselves as standard card-carrying zoologists. So should we be saying that such people are actually cryptozoologists? Should the term ‘cryptozoology’ be far more widely applied than it currently is? My personal opinion is that yes, it should, but I don’t think that this will happen because of the negative stigma attached to the name. But by pursuing cryptids – mystery animals, known only from anecdotal data – the zoologists who have discovered such animals as the Okapi, the Kipunji, the Odedi and so on are all employing the research methods of cryptozoology, and hence are part-time cryptozoologists, whether they like it or not. So people ordinarily regarded as mainstream zoologists do sometimes or often engage in cryptozoological research. The result of this is that it’s very difficult – if not impossible – to define a boundary between cryptozoology and ‘conventional’ zoology. There are perhaps two solutions to this problem. One is that we should abolish the term cryptozoology altogether, and argue that anyone who’s investigating a cryptid is simply doing zoological field work. The other is that we get more zoologists to realise what cryptozoology really is, and hence try and get rid of the ‘monster hunting’ label and the negative stigma so often attached to the subject (there’s a subject that I’m going to deliberately avoid here, and that’s the role of amateurs in cryptozoology. The fact that many amateur enthusiasts call themselves cryptozoologists also prevents wider application of the term; however, I am not disparaging or discouraging the valuable role of amateurs in this field). However, we have to remember that cryptozoology isn’t just about the investigation of animals… if we’re investigating creatures that sometimes exist only in legend and anecdote, there’s always the possibility that such creatures don’t really exist at all in the real world, but are instead entirely the products of folklore, superstition and so on. Indeed it’s well established that cryptozoology has another overlap: with the study of folklore. So I would say that a zoologist can indulge in cryptozoological work, a folklorist can indulge in cryptozoological work, but a dedicated cryptozoologist combines work on both zoology and folklore. The term ‘cryptozoologist’ is actually used, therefore, for three quite distinct types of researchers: this is something that hasn’t really been acknowledged and I feel that it explains why different areas of cryptozoology have different levels of credibility. The zoology-based cryptozoologist looks at the mystery animals being investigated by the folklore-based cryptozoologist, and thinks that they are highly unlikely to exist as real animals. The folklore-based cryptozoologist looks at the often rather mundane animals being investigated by the zoology-based cryptozoologist and thinks that the creatures concerned are so ordinary that they’re probably nothing to do with cryptozoology. A dedicated cryptozoologist – who combines investigation of both of these fields – is interested in both areas, and finds both real animals, and entities that exist only in folklore, of equal research interest. We’ve previously looked at the odedi – a small dull brown passerine described in 2006 (LeCroy & Barker 2006) but known long prior to this as a cryptid (for more, see the ver 1 article here). The discovery of the Odedi brings us to another subject that again blurs the boundary between cryptozoology and conventional zoology. This is the fact that, when we try to come up with a model that explains the distribution of the Odedi and its relatives across the islands of the SW Pacific, we have to conclude that there are almost certainly additional members of this bush warbler group that as yet remain undiscovered on various of these SW Pacific islands. So we’re talking about animals that likely exist, but have yet to be documented by the discovery of actual specimens, and remain unknown as cryptids [the adjacent map is a modified version of a figure from LeCroy & Barker (2006)]. If we want to test the possibility that these hypothetical birds exist, there are two ways of doing this: one is by looking for specimens, whether that’s live birds, traces of live birds, archaeological samples, or fossils. The other is by seeing if the people of the relevant region have any knowledge of such birds. If we’re now looking for anecdotal evidence for hypothetical animals – is this also cryptozoology? I think it is… I’ve been trying to come up with a catchy title for these sorts of animals: I can’t, the best I can do is label them ‘hypothetical cryptids’ Another example of this sort of thing involves the unusual, small, predominantly terrestrial crocodiles that are now known to have inhabited several islands of the Pacific Ocean. The first of these to be discovered was Mekosuchus inexpectatus, from New Caledonia. It was probably still alive about 1700 years ago, and the discovery of its bones associated with human kitchen waste strongly suggests that it was hunted and eaten by people. It lived alongside several other New Caledonian endemics that are now extinct, including large lizards, terrestrial turtles, giant megapodes (that’s mound-nesting birds) and flightless rails. In 2002, a second Mekosuchus species, M. kalpokasi, was reported from Efate Island off Vanuatu – its remains have been carbon-dated to about 3000 years ago, and, again, its association with pottery fragments and other bits of human waste indicate that it was hunted by people, and hunted to extinction. Fiji was home to another one of these small terrestrial crocodiles: it’s called Volia atholandersoni. The only known specimen is probably between 20,000 and 10,000 years old, whereas humans have only been on Fiji for the last 3000 years, so we can’t yet demonstrate whether humans caused its extinction (for more on island-dwelling mekosuchines, see the ver 1 article here). By reconstructing the evolutionary history of these animals, we have reason to think that these small, island-dwelling crocodiles were present on various of the islands of the south-west Pacific: in other words, that multiple other species existed, and as yet remain undiscovered. Regardless of the model that’s favoured to explain the distribution of these crocodiles on New Caledonia, Vanuatu and Fiji, we have to conclude that they were likely to have been present on islands around New Caledonia, on various of the Fijian islands, on the Solomon islands, and perhaps as far east as Tonga and Samoa (Mead et al. 2002, Molnar et al. 2002). These animals are almost certainly extinct (I’m not implying that they might be hiding out, awaiting discovery in the modern day), but not only do we currently lack archaeological or palaeontological evidence of their presence, to date, no one has reported any ethnic traditions, stories or sightings that seem to describe these crocodiles. However, we should expect such evidence to exist, and we should search through ethnic evidence – stories, legends and so on – with these hypothetical cryptids in mind. And, again, that’s not the end, but I have to stop there. The final part will be posted next. Refs – – LeCroy, M. & Barker, F. K. 2006. A new species of bush-warbler from Bougainville Island and a monophyletic origin for southwest Pacific Cettia. American Museum Novitates 3511, 1-20. Mead, J. I., Steadman, D. W., Bedford, S. H., Bell. C. J. & Spriggs, M. 2002. New extinct mekosuchine crocodile from Vanuatu, South Pacific. Copeia 2002, 632-641. Molnar, R. E., Worthy, T. & Willis, P. M. A. 2002. An extinct Pleistocene endemic mekosuchine crocodilian from Fiji. Journal of Vertebrate Paleontology 22, 612-628.

Is anyone supposed to be seriously surprised about Palin's reaction to this? Wonder how she'd feel if we substituted quotes from Christopher Hitchens instead! Damn! I was starting to forget that woman existed! Fortunately the prayer cards were just in 1st class. Coach passengers like me could just go to hell, I guess. In 2008 I seriously hoped the existence of Sarah Palin was just a rumor. Ah, but Palin begat Santorum, and Santorum begat Bachmann, and Bachman begat Perry and and and .... What next? What rock should we pick up to discover the next beastie? I shudder. Oh, we don't have to pick up any rocks. The GOP does it all the time. Where do you suppose the current nominees came from? Me too. And I continue to hope that recurrent reports of Palin sightings are similar to those of Sasquatch, "an ape-like cryptid that purportedly inhabits forests, mainly in the Pacific Northwest region of North America". Unfortunately, the photographic evidence for the "Sarahpalin" is difficult to dispute. Also not surprised. It's interesting that she says the cards are nondenominational, too. Maybe, but they're not nonsectarian. Not everybody embraces the psalms, and bashing in babies heads and stuff. What if they did cards with quotations from Song of Songs (Song of Solomon), instead? Perhaps with pictures? I'm thinking of verses like Song of Songs 8: 10 where it says "my breasts are like towers." That's nondenominational, too! And it's also awesome! Almost all men and some women, regardless of religious outlook, can agree to sentiments like that! Isn't that what she's always going for? Well, that and the power to force everyone else to be Christian, too...

Updated December 6, 2012 Ghost ToursAlamo City Ghost Tours San Antonio Ghost Tours offers the Ghost and Graveyard Tour. Creep through the night alongside the graves of San Antonio's past citizens. Transportation from deluxe limousines to executive motor coaches. Alton Hauntings Tours Created by author Troy Taylor in 1999, the Alton Hauntings Tour (Illinois) has won awards and received national acclaim as the most authentic haunted tour in a city that FATE Magazine has called "One of the Most Haunted Small Towns in America." Hosted by Taylor along with Len Adams and Luke Naliborski, the tour delves into a side of this historic town that tourists never see. Each tour departs from the famous History & Hauntings Book Co. and visits sites like the old Enos Sanatorium, the First Unitarian Church, the Alton Penitentiary, and much more! Barcelona Ghost Tours The Ghost Tour is and adventure that all ages can enjoy. The lantern leads a costumed guide navigating the group through the Barrio Gotic's dark and twisting corridors! We focus on: . The science that studies paranormal activities. . Secrets in the Gothic architecture (there's a reason the buildings have gargoyles, demons and ghosts). . Public executions and torture. . Urban legends of monsters, murderers, pirates and the Vampire of Barcelona. Bring every camera and video recorder possible, for this is how we capture sightings and other phenomena. All adults who survive can join us for a complimentary beer or wine afterwards at the pub! After reading this, if you fail to turn up... YE BE CURSED! Blue Ridge (Georgia) Ghost Tour Blue Ridge Ghost Tour located in beautiful downtown Blue Ridge, Georgia. Offers walking tours with a variety of stories that encompass all kinds of different stories of folklore, history, legends, ghosts and paranormal. Of course we tell ghost stories from all over Fannin County, however, we also touch on local legends, folklore and stories of the paranormal in general. This isn't your normal ghost tour! Come join us for an entertaining evening of fun and storytelling! Tours are $16.00 for Adults and $14.00 for Under 18. Cash or Paypal only. Tours are approximately two hours long. Friday and Saturday nights April through November. Brisbane Ghost Tours Established in 1998 by local horror historian Jack Sim, Ghost Tours combines the unique experience of visiting Brisbane and Southern Queensland's most historic haunted sites with the ancient art of storytelling. Hear classic local ghost stories, urban legends and myths, true tales of tragedy, crime, murder, mystery, magic, witchcraft, love & death. Calico Ghost Walk Calico Ghost Town, founded in 1881, is a historic silver mining town 10 miles north of Barstow, California. Purchased in 1950 by Walter Knott of Knott's Berry Farm, the town was restored to it's glory of the richest silver strike of the 1800s. The Calico Ghost Walk is a walk you will never forget. This 90 minute tour through the ghost town, after dark, is for all ages. The Calico Ghost Walk is conducted every Friday and Saturday night, all year round. On the tour we discuss not just the ghosts, but the true history of Calico in the 1800s. Chicago Ghost Investigations Chicago's original paranormal investigative tour! Upon arriving at the investigation site, our guests learn about some of the tools of the trade and then they are broken up into teams in order to conduct an actual paranormal investigation under the guidance of our CGI investigators. We can be joined in front of the Old Water Tower on the west side of the street on the corner of Michigan and Chicago Avenue near the Magnificent Mile. We teach you how to locate the spirits scientifically and we also teach you how to speak to them after they are found! Come explore and investigate some of Chicago's most intriguing haunts. Chicago Ghost Tours from Chicago Hauntings Called the most respected and informative of all Chicago ghost tours, these creepy excursions are led by the city's most fascinating, active investigators, including Ursula Bielski, author of five books on Chicago's haunted history, among them the bestselling Chicago Haunts. Tours depart from Clark and Ohio streets in downtown Chicago, and are jam-packed with startling inside information on Chicago's most actively haunted sites, with a number of stops at scenes of some of the bloodiest disasters in American history. A high-quality, highly-acclaimed tour in its third year of year-round operation. Colorado Haunted History Colorado Haunted History provides historical haunted walking tours of Morrison, Colorado. Just minutes from Denver, and residing in the shadow of Red Rocks Park, Morrison's historical city is a step back in time. Daytona Ghost Walks Are you a believer? Join us if you dare! This hour long walking tour blends history, scientific data and haunting tales. Tickets are $8, children under 6 are free. Owned & operated by a certified ghost hunter. A portion of all proceeds goes to research and cemetery preservation & restoration. We host paranormal evenings and overnight ghost hunts in the most haunted and historic buildings in the UK. We feature a quality three course meal, talk by a historian, followed by a candle-lit tour with medium and psychic workshops, followed by night vigils. Full use of equipment including EMF meters and laser thermometers will be available on the night. Not for the faint-hearted but a unique experience for you and your friends. Make your trip away a little different, celebrate a special occasion, or just come along to experience a night as a ghost hunter! Eureka Springs Ghost Tours The northwest Arkansas-based organization offers tours of the haunted Crescent Hotel. There is some historic information on the area, a photo gallery, and a way to get in touch with this ghost hunting group. Excursions Into The Unknown Haunted Chicagoland tours since 1982 offer a unique look at the ghostly and unusual in Chicago and beyond. Fells Point Ghost Tours Ghost tour featuring the original Fells Point GhostWalk, an award-winning certified authentic tour in Baltimore, Maryland. Fort Lauderdale Ghost Tour From the fashionable Las Olas Blvd. to Historical Downtown Fort Lauderdale, Fort Lauderdale Ghost Tour will show you our most haunted sites. This is a walking tour that is 90 minutes long. We will bring you to 7 Haunted Buildings within a 7 block radius. Remember, wear comfortable foot wear. Tour guide, John M. Carr, will tell you about our historical haunts, the people who lived and died there, and the ghosts that dwell within. John Takes pictures which later go on the web for those who partake in the tour. Group Rates and Special Tours are Available. Call Now for your Reservations: 954-290-9328. German Castles - Guided Ghost Hunts We offer guided ghost hunts at Fürsteneck and Neuburg Castle, Bavaria (Germany). Join members of CEPI, a TAPS family member, on an investigation at one of our stunning haunted locations. We offer tours in English, Dutch, or German. Please contact us for more information or visit our Web site (English version soon to come). Ghost Doctors Supernatual Tours in New York City As seen in New York's TV and print media -Dr. Pete and Dr. Stew- New York's own Ghost Doctors have found something strange going on in the neighborhoods of the Big Apple. Come Join the Ghost Doctors on one of their Supernatural Ghost Hunting Tours and experience the real New York -The Supernatural New York- with your Supernatural Licensed Tour Guides - the one and only "Ghost Doctors." Ghosts of Staunton Ninety minute walking ghost tour of historical downtown staunton virginia presented by the Shenandoah Valley Paranormal Society. our tours blend science, history, paranormal and legend together. Ghost Tour Directory | Find and Review Ghost Tours Anywhere In The World A site for ghost tour enthusiasts and ghost hunters to find and review ghost tours in their neighborhood or anywhere in the world. From Salem to Prague to Edinburgh. Ghost Tours of Naperville Naperville's Official Ghost Tour. Come join Naperville Historian and History-making ghost Hunter Kevin Frantz as he leads this terrifying walking tour through the pitch-dark streets of haunted Naperville. Naperville just may be the most haunted city in the midwest... Ghost Tours of Newport, Rhode Island Take a 90-minute lantern led evening stroll and discover the ghosts, ghouls, and legends of our haunted city by the sea. Ghost walks depart nightly at 8 PM, rain or shine, May 1st through Halloween, from Fathom's Restaraunt at the Newport Marriott. For more information and reservations call (401) 841-8600 or toll free (866) 33-GHOST. Ghost Walk of Historic Halifax An entertaining and informative two hour walk through Halifax, Nova Scotia's historic downtown streets. Along the way, participants encounter a haunted restaurant, cursed bridge, the ghost of an English general, a beer baron's tunnel, and more. Experienced tour guides are also professional actors. Our walks are filled with eerie stories, little known facts, and lots of local gossip. Goodsprings Ghost Hunt Hunt Ghosts in a 100 year old haunted mining town. Only 30 minutes from Las Vegas. This spirited and spooky ghost hunt will take you to the haunting grounds of Goodsprings, Nevada. Robert Allen creator of the Haunted Vegas Tour now makes it possible for you to visit this once thriving ghost town and explore it’s resident spirits. According to the “History Channel†there are two ghosts that haunt the 100 year old Pioneer Saloon and Gallery. The Pioneer houses bullet holes in the side of the building and a coroner's letter describing how they were created. The old saloon is said to be "haunted" by the gun shot victim's ghost as well as the spirit of and old miner. Both ghosts have been seen by many employees and saloon visitors over the years. Other ghostly sightings have been experienced in and around the remains of the town as well making it a perfect location for a ghost hunt. Grove House Ghost Tours The Grove House in downtown Asheville, N.C, is one of the city's most haunted buildings. It was built as the central YWCA in 1924, but seems to host spirits from a much earlier era as well. Psychics have identified a portal in the building. The Grove House is now home to three nightclubs and ghost tours are offered through the building by local tour guide and historian, Brenda Seright Williams. This is an authentic ghost tour and Asheville's only year-round tour that takes you inside a haunted building. The Haunted Chronicles The Haunted Chronicles brings you the best in haunted Internet media. John M. Carr, founder of South East Florida Ghost Research, provides you with links to ghost tours, paranormal research groups, ghost stories, and ghost Web cams. Plan your haunted vacation, find your favorite haunted spot, tour, or ghost researcher. Haunted Cleveland Ghost Tour Founded by Chuck Gove in 1999, Haunted Cleveland Ghost Tours gives fun and fact-filled tours of the most macabre historic sites in Cleveland! Chuck Gove, a native Clevelander has studied Cleveland's legends and famous crimes to create a unique and professional series of entertaining tours that present chills as well as history. The tours include such hair-raising sites as Squires Castle, Franklin Castle, and the USS Cod. Visit the scenes of notorious local crimes, like the famed Torso Murders. By special arrangement, guests of various tours are given private tours of Franklin Castle, William G. Mather Steamship, Squires Castle, Grays Armory, Playhouse Square, Cleveland Police Museum, and the Cleveland Museum of Natural History. Haunted Decatur Tours Created by Author Troy Taylor in 1994, the Haunted Decatur Tour is one of the longest-running ghost tours in the state of Illinois! Each tour departs from the haunted Avon Theater in downtown Decatur and journeys to the dark side of what has been called "The Most Haunted Small City in the Midwest." Spend an evening with us at the Lincoln Theater, Hell Hollow, Greenwood Cemetery, and experience "Haunted Decatur" first hand. Haunted Haight Walking Tour Come discover the many ghosts and macabre history of San Francisco on this award-winning walking tour. The tour includes a guidebook and map and spooky goody bag filled "tricks and treats!" See where infamous murderers and cult leaders once called home and learn all about ghost hunting and parapsychology from the President and founder of The San Francisco Ghost Society. View incredible Victorian mansions and learn all about their architecture and history. Price is just $20 per person and the Haunted Haight Walking Tour runs year 'round. Haunted Happenings: Seattle Ghost Tour. Explore Seattle's darker side on the Haunted Happenings Ghost Tour. The van tour lasts three hours with stops at some of Seattle's most haunted locations including the Gambling Den and the Old Burial Ground. Historical and entertaining, this ghost tour reminds us of the misery and murder that Seattle has paved over. Tours offered year round. Welcome to Haunted Hideaways Ghost Tours! Take a saunter with the Spirits from dusk to darkness. Watch out for the shadows! Kristy Robinett, a professional Psychic Medium, will light your way through the strange and unusual with tales of centuries past, legendary stories, folk lore and ghostly experiences. Join us under the cover of night to explore the many haunted areas in Metro Detroit. Don't stray too far from the group because you never know when you'll find yourself face to face with the unknown. Our stories are not scripted, which makes it fresh and entertaining. The tales and legends are blended with paranormal and historical fact making them entertaining and educational. Haunted Highways Travel Co. Join author Troy Taylor and the Illinois Hauntings Tour Co. for road trips, investigations, and overnight excursions to some of the most haunted places in Illinois, the Heartland and America. These special trips take a limited number of ghost enthusiasts on hand-selected tours to eerie locations where they can spend the night with the spirits! Come along for exclusive investigations in Gettysburg, the Bell Witch Cave, Baltimore's Historic Fell's Point, the Villisca Ax Murder House, Lincoln Theater, and much more! Haunted Historical Locations You can experience the Historic Haunted Locations and their history along with the spirits and paranormal that have become another historic part of the locations. These are not just bus tours, but the ability to explore many of the haunted historical locations and possibly experience the spirits that are within or surrounding the historical sites you will be visiting. This on going and changing location tour experience is provided by the Worth, IL. Historical Museum and Edward Shanahan in co-operation with Historical Societies such as Orland Park, Worth, Downtown Joliet and more as we expand our coverage to include other states. Haunted Houston Tours Get a glimpse of Texas history and how it contributed to its haunted grounds by signing up with Haunted Houston Tours. Haunted Houston Tours will take you to places rich in history and real paranormal sightings. Visit the sight to see available tour packages and to make your reservation! Join us as we visit Old Town Spring, Spring Creek Park, Tomball, Cypress and see the real story behind the history and hauntings! Haunted Houston offers Ghost Tours during the entire year, as well as for the Halloween Season! We're Not Just Another Ordinary Ghost Tour -- No Invented Stories! This is the Real Thing! Haunted Vegas Tour This spirited and spooky ghost tour will take you to the haunting grounds of Bugsy Siegel, Liberace, Redd Foxx and Elvis. Robert George Allen, creator of the Haunted Vegas Tour now makes it possible to visit such eerie sites by offering a guided tour, featuring Sin City's darkest ghostly secrets. The tour covers such sites as the "Motel of Death," where numerous celebrity deaths have occurred and the former home of a Las Vegas legend whose ghost continues to haunt despite numerous attempts to exorcise it. Nightly at the Royal Resort Hotel, 99 Convention Center Drive, Las Vegas, Nevada. Tickets: 866-218-4935 Haunted Vicksburg Ghost Tours Take a walk (or a drive) on the Dark Side of History in Haunted Vicksburg, Mississippi. The Vicksburg Campaign was the turning point of the Civil War, but it was not the only tragedy to befall Vicksburg, dueling, disease, and the Trail of Tears have left Vicksburg full of restless spirits. Haunts of Mackinac Our Haunted History Tours take you on a 90 minute walking tour into the realm of the unknown. Based on the bestselling book Haunts of Mackinac, the tour will both entertain and inform our spirited guests as they journey through the historic streets of downtown Mackinac Island, Michigan. Hidden Dublin Walks Ireland is said by many to be one of the most haunted countries on the planet and no trip to the Emerald Isle is complete without the Hidden Dublin Walks haunted ghost tour. This genuinely creepy walk will trace the mysteries of the supernatural and sometimes demonic forces that stalk the streets of Dublin. Learn about the different types of ghosts that inhabit Dublin, why they are here and about the often gruesome events that gave birth to these legends, including gory murders, satanic rituals and the sad sufferings of previous inhabitants of this town. Please note that this is not a comical walk. We offer the only "serious" ghost tour in Ireland. Kissimmee Ghost Tour Step into the world of the unknown with our Ghost & History Tour for a hair-raising ninety-minute tour into the spirit realm of Kissimmee, Florida. Hear the tales of murder, mayhem, and mystery that Historic Downtown Kissimmee has to offer. Join us as we take a leisurely stroll and search along the shadowy streets and alleys of Kissimmee's Historic Downtown District. Hear about a headless horseman who still makes his late-night rides through the area, about a young girl who plays, to this day, in a playground and loves to makes the swing sets swing. See and hear about the "Hanging Tree" and sense the presence of some of the unfortunate who met their final fate on its lower limb. Hear about the "Ghost of the Lake" and how he still haunts the lake looking for the dock. Listen to tales of the "crackers" who drove the cattle through the area and the violence and mayhem that they caused, leaving behind a rich history of paranormal tales. This and so much more. Lanternlit Ghost Walks of Historic Niagara-on-the-Lake Prepare yourself to stroll back through history and hear tales of haunted pubs, inns, forts, and homes where restless spirits of the past are still said to linger. In the town of Niagara-on-the-Lake, heritage has been carefully preserved and protected like nowhere else in Canada. Hear about Captain Swayze who met his untimely death at the Olde Angel Inn, the woman in white who has been spotted in the gazebo at the Queen's Royal Park, or the headless officer that roams the walls of Old Fort Niagara. Paranormal events where YOU become part of the legend. Ghost hunts, cryptid searches, sky watches, and more! Meet The Spirits A Web site with information on ghost tours, spirit photography events, and psychic readings in the northeast Ohio area. Miamitown Ghost Tours Miamitown Ghost Tours is a walking tour that visits several antique stores and homes and tells the history and ghost stories that lie within. The tour is about an hour long and is all outdoors, we do not enter stores. Come and join us for a tour through Miamitown's haunted history! Reservations Required. Milwaukee Ghosts - Tours & Investigations Explore the haunted history of Milwaukee's historic neighborhoods including Brady Street, Bay View, and the Third Ward. Surprising and spooky tales of ghosts, curses, and monsters from Wisconsin's colorful past and present await you. Tours fill up fast, so call (414) 807-7862 now to reserve your spot. Let's celebrate local folklore! The Mystery Ghost Bus Tours of South Africa Board a luxury bus in South Africa, and become acquainted with haunted houses, murders, mysteries and other paranormal phenomena. Key Words: ufo, ghost, spook, spirit, poltergeist, haunt, mystery, murder, paranormal, magic, illusion, tour, entertain, south Africa, mark rose christie, and events. Mysteries of Paris Ghost Walk Mysteries of Paris Ghost Walk the first ever haunted tour of Paris France opens in full operation in the spring of 2009. Until then it is RSVP and reservation only. Tours begin in front of the Pantheon at 8pm and last approx two hours. The 'City of Lights' is actually more haunted and spooky than even the French realize. Come and check us out. New England Curiosities Walking Tours New England legends, lore, and mystery walking tours. Based in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, our tours cover over 380 years of legendary history. Including tales of haunted lighthouses, visits to Colonial graveyards, and views of beautiful period architecture with intriguing pasts. Journey down roads and paths with an experienced knowledgeable guide on our candlelit evening walks Walk with us in the shadows of the past and be prepared to be entertained and historically enlightened. We specialize in many subjects in history, legends and lore from the North Shore of Massachusetts (Essex County) to much of New Hampshire and as far north as Portland, Maine. We've dusted off some great stories and we've interviewed the locals to put together our memorable walks. Come along and find out why we've been featured on the Travel Channel. We specialize in group tours and our fall tours capture the spirit of Halloween! New Madrid Ghost Tour Take part in actual paranormal investigations at some of New Madrid, Missouri's most haunted locations. There will be two tours each evening, 7:00 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. These are walking tours that run approx. 2 hours and take place rain or shine. Reservations are required and space is very limited. Admission is $10.00 per person. Cameras, digital recorders, and other ghost hunting equipment is welcome. Please note that paranormal activity is not guaranteed. Personal tours are available throughout the year for groups of 10 or more with a 2 week notice. Niagara Ghost Walks Niagara Ghost Walks takes you on a lanternlit stroll through the haunted downtown core of Niagara Falls. Hear stories of murder, mayhem and learn of the ghosts that still walk the desolate streets. For further information and to make reservations, please visit our website. Nitey-Nite Ghost Tours, Inc. Newest Ghost tours company to hit the Chicagoland area. Year round events at the Geneva-Haunted Mansion, Motorcoach Tours, Haunted Trips, and more. Home of INSIGHT DIMENSION PARANORMAL RESEARCH GROUP. Ghost Tours are our specialty and paranormal research is our priority. Visit our spooky site for halloween themed events and all things haunted. History & GHOST Tours of Old Town Albuquerque A lantern lit walking tour through the original town site where time seems to stand still. Old Town is steeped in history and the paranormal. Dark alleys and laneways wind through the heart of the historic area and in the shadows lurk the shades of Yesteryear. Walking through the town, one is surrounded by the memories of public hangings, duels and horrific murders. Passing over forgotten cemeteries and unmarked graves, you pass by buildings known to be visited by those who have passed over to the other side. Vengeful lovers, murdered soldiers and mysterious specters await those who are brave enough to explore the secrets that lie in wait in Old Town 's darkest corners. Tours are conducted NIGHTLY at 8pm. The Tour takes approximately ninety minutes and materializes each evening at 8pm at our Ticket Window in Old Town ’s Plaza Don Luis. Call for more information: (505) 246-TOUR The Night Tour Salem Tour Salem, Massachusetts -- one of America's top ten haunted cities. Our ghost tour is lead by costumed guides from the past. Tour two cemeteries, The Witch Memorial, the haunted old Salem Jail, and the site of accused witch Giles Cory Execution. Tours gather nightly June through November at 8:00 PM. The cost is $13.00. Oahu Ghost Tours Providing walking and driving tours of some of Oahu's most haunted sites. No other island in Hawaii, or in most of the world has as many stories about the paranormal activity than Oahu. Famous ghost storyteller, Glen Grant, made Oahu his home and made this island famous for his ghostly encounters and storytelling. Our guides are some of the best storytellers there is, and keep guests on the edge on every tour. Tours originate in Waikiki and encompass spots all around the island. Our walking tour takes guests to see where Hawaii's revered Night Marchers are said to walk, and to other sites like the haunted Palace in Downtown and in China Town. Old Bisbee Ghost Tour The Old Bisbee Ghost Tour is the only one of its kind. Your Ghost Host will lead you on this walking tour through Old Bisbee, ArizonaÂ’s streets, stairways, and old alleys after dark on an adventure to discover and learn about the ghosts that haunt this hundred and twenty five-year-old town. Learn their history and favorite haunts while seeing Old Bisbee when very few do, after sunset. Visit the haunts of Julia, a lady of the evening who enjoys the company of married men staying alone in her room, Nat the miner who owed money to the Money Man and paid for it with his life, and the Lady in White who saved the lives of three children. For more information call us at 520-432-3308 or e mail us at [email protected]. The Original Ghost Tours of Key West Take a lantern-led evening stroll down Key West's shadowy lanes and discover the ghosts, ghouls and legends of this haunted island paradise. With an exclusive portfolio of haunted locations that range from Medieval Castles to Underground Nuclear Bunkers, why not join us on one of our Ghost Hunts to search for the truth. Paranormal Consultancy offer Corporate Events Tailor made Ghost Hunts for your company, where you can experience what it is like locked inside one of our exclusive locations investigating the Paranormal. Visit the UK's scariest places for live ghost hunts, most haunted live, and paranormal investigations. Paranormal Tours brings the ghost world into your world with live ghost hunting nights and events. Our investigation team will take you to some of the most haunted locations all over the UK. Prestige Paranormal, the ghost hunting event specialists that deal with good quality haunted locations across the UK. Providence Ghost Tour Join us as we lead you by lantern light through the darkened streets of the historic East Side, sharing with you stories that will be sure to send a chill down your spine! Hope you like sleeping with a nightlight on mwuhaha… Roswell Ghost Tour YEAR-ROUND outdoor, walking ghost tour in historic Roswell, GA! NO made up stories! Check SCHEDULE page for current schedule of tours. Private group tours are also available. Tour is at least 2 hrs long, covers one mile area. WHERE: Tours depart from the bandstand in Roswell square (across from the Roswell visitor’s center - 617 Atlanta St., Roswell, GA 30075) @ the intersection of Highway 120 & Highway 9. We assemble ourselves in the bandstand in the town square 15 minutes before tour start time to begin promptly on the hour. HOW MUCH: Tour fees: $15 for adults, $10 for children 12 and under, NOT including guide gratuities. We do not have the capabilities in the square to accept credit/debit cards. Please bring cash. Each attendee will be required to sign a liability waiver before we begin. A portion of the proceeds continues to go to various preservation and restoration projects throughout historic Roswell. AVAILABLE NOW!! Order your personalized, signed copy of Dianna’s new book “Roswell: History, Haunts and Legends†Books will also be available for purchase at the end of the tours, just ask your guide about purchasing a signed book. CHECK OUT OUR ON- LINE STORE and get yourself some Roswell Ghost Tour merchandise and tour gift certificates! Come to Roswell, GA! Experience the charm and mystery of the deep south through ghost stories. Learn much about Roswell’s deep history from our knowledgeable guides. In the heart of this historic village, one will be surprised by how many spirits reside behind the walls of the antebellum mansions which General Sherman never burned. The deep ravines with their ruined mills hold secrets of exiled mill workers whose toilsome moans may still be heard. Your experienced guide will lead you on this (at least) TWO hour tour through the historic district of Roswell. One of the highlights of the tour is a visit to Founders Cemetery, the burial site of the founder of Roswell, Roswell King. Here, bodies are buried beneath modern streets and houses. Grand Greek revival mansions and humble mill worker’s apartments are some of the haunted sites you’ll see on this mile of easy walking. We are active paranormal investigators who promise to thrill, educate and enlighten with this experience. No acting, no made up stories, no costumes, no fake accents, no gimmicks. Just real, unexplainable, current stories of paranormal events led by paranormal investigators. RECOMMENDATIONS: Flashlights, umbrella if necessary, good walking shoes, insect repellent if necessary, and a camera! If you catch anything paranormal (happens often), we’d love to see it! Have some ghost hunting equipment?? Bring it! San Francisco Ghost Hunt Jim Fassbinder leads you on a 2 hour tour of some of San Francisco's most notorious haunted places. Hear ghost stories based on serious documented research, see and touch eerie haunted artifacts and learn how you can catch a ghost. Discover the wild and romantic history of San Francisco's districts where these ghosts haunt today. Shadow Patrol Paranormal Investigations We are Shadow Patrol Paranormal Investigation or SPPI Haunted Tours and Ghost Hunts found a home in the Haunted Gray Hotel in Redkey, IN. Several entities are always active. The High Spirits Cafe is located in the Gray Hotel and it's customers are often treated to a ghostly activity. Styrofoam cups are thrown, doors are opened, singing can be heard..anything can happen. Upstairs you may find Bethany, a seven year old girl, or 'Sprite' a twenty something year old woman who's overdose was thought to be suicide...but it wasn't... Redkey Indiana... where the past is the KEY to the future Tombstone Ghost Tour In "The Town Too Tough To Die" many have violently lost their lives. Some of the departed chose to stay and haunt the streets and buildings of AmericaÂ’s favorite wild west town. Let our Ghost Host guide you with their lantern on a stroll after dark through the haunted streets of Tombstone. Hear the spooky tales of a town where cowboys and deputies were at war, where women of negotiable affection worked their cribs, and where you took your life into your hands when walking down the street. The Tombstone Ghost Tour is an after dark walking tour of the city of Tombstone, Arizona. You will hear our Ghost Host tell the tales of the undead who are said to haunt this wild town. Please wear good walking shoes, feel free to bring with you a bottle of water, a camera to take as many photos as you like, a flashlight, and a spirit for fun! Tel: (520) 432-3308. The Unexplained World Internet Tours of: Bachelor's Grove Cemetery, Archer Woods Cemetery, and search for the Haunted Caves of Minnesota. Now from the comfort of your computer you can tour the Historic Haunted Bachelor's Grove Cemetery and other active Paranormal locations at The Unexplained World.com with your host on these tours - Edward Shanahan, a Spiritual Observer. A Walk Through Salem A Walk Through Salem. Follow Mr. Zac along the story line through Salem, Massachusetts starting in the Salem Commons and visit all the sites from the story, "A Walk Through Salem." Come see the Unzipping Tree. Walk through the Zipper and see the other side of Salem. Where Tall Ships park on the sidewalk next to the meter, ghosts swim through the air out of Old Burying Point chasing toy sail boats, the Hawthorne Statue smokes a bubble pipe, and Vikings storm Dead Horse Beach. Starting at Dusk, a shadow creeps from the flagpole. The Shadow makes its way across the Commons past the wrought iron plate covering the access to Salem's famous tunnels, and right up the Unzipping Tree. Cutting the tree in half. Here you are welcomed to start reading the tale and let your mind's eye and child's heart follow Mr. Zac (the stories lead character) through Salem past all the sites illustrated in the book. If you try hard you might even see Mr. Zac lead you down the Story Line. He seems a little rubbery at first in real life when you see him. Give him a break, he was created from paint. Salem Commons is accessible off route 107 (Bridge Street) in Salem, down Winter Street to Washington Square next to the Hawthorne Hotel. Weird Chicago Tours The alternative tour of Chicago's ghosts, local legends and best-kept secrets! Join author Troy Taylor (over 40 books, including Weird Illinois and Haunted Chicago) and the Weird Chicago Staff in a search for the weirdest ghost stories, most haunted places, and downright strangest sites that the Windy City has to offer. Join us and go to places no other tour can take you and experience the "dark side" of Chicago first hand! Offered year-round in evenings and afternoon tours! Wicked Walking Tours Legends and History of Haunted Portland, Maine. Comedy and tragedy filled tales abound in this twisted tour of the 'Old Port'. Our tour guides are professional actors, and this tour is second to none. Hear legends of a Witch's Curse on a Society Lady, a Ghostly Pirate Ship, a Disembodied Diva, and a Minister Attacked by Indians, and dragged to the Salem Witch Trials and executed. Bring a digital camera and see why this is New England's most wicked ghost tour ever! Williamsburg Ghost Tours Ghost tours of historic Colonial Williamsburg, Virginia includes a walking tour down the eerie streets of Williamsburg illuminated by lantern glow with stories and legends of ghosts of the past and present, pirates and witches. Willoughby Ghost Walk The Willoughby Ghost Walk is a guided walking tour through beautiful historic downtown Willoughby, Ohio, located on the shores of Lake Erie. On the Ghost Walk your tour guide will entertain you with the haunted histories and interesting legends of our city as you visit locations that have reported strange phenomenon. In addition you will hear stories of some of the amazing and unexplainable paranormal encounters experienced first-hand by town business owners, residents, past Ghost Walk guests and guides during the Willoughby Ghost Walk.

- School Stuff Bullying is a serious subject. Whether you have been bullied, are being bullied, know someone who's being bullied or are a bully yourself, here are two books that can help you learn more about how to put an end to bullying. How much would you sacrifice to bring someone you love back from the dead? Kidzworld looks at bestselling author Douglas Clegg’s new novella, Isis. There's a new series of graphic novels in town - Kit Feeny by Michael Townsend, which is sorta the boy version of Babymouse. Simple characters and just the right amount of silliness and stuff to work out makes Kit Feeny a star in our (comic) books! This new book - Bionicle: The Legend Reborn - is based on the LEGO characters and all-new movie of the same name. Read along as author Greg Farshtey takes you on an amazing and action-filled adventure you won't be able to put down! Join Marty and Grace in the thrilling sequel to Cryptid Hunters—Tentacles by Roland Smith. C.C. Cole, author of the teen sci-fi/horror novel Act of Redemption, tells Kidzworld about her writing journey. If Emily chooses to become the next stonekeeper, she will possess great power. But powerful comes at a price. Check out Amulet #1: The Stonekeeper, a graphic novel by Kazu Kibuishi. As demons destroy the city of Gastar, one brave girl stands tall in the face of Hell. Kidsworld reviews Act of Redemption, a terrific debut novel by C.C. Cole. Leo and Mimi return to the magical world of Rondo only to find that another dangerous adventure awaits. Kidzworld has the inside scoop on The Wizard of Rondo by Emily Rodda. Firedrake and his pals set out in search of the legendary Rim of Heaven—a safe haven for dragons. But an evil dragon, Nettlebrand, is hot on their trail. Don’t miss Cornelia Funke’s wonderful adventure, Dragon Rider. After surviving the Hunger Games, Katniss's troubles are far from over. She has sparked a rebellion and the Capital will do anything to take her down. Check out Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins. Leo and his cousin Mimi discover a world of fables and fairy tales inside an old music box. Check out The Key to Rondo by Emily Rodda. Veterans Day/Remembrance Day is a time to honor those who fought in war. Read our reviews of some books for kids that talk about history, war and peace and remember to appreciate our soldiers and honor them every day of the year. We just can't wait to see Disney's brand-new feature-length movie The Princess And The Frog, coming to theaters December 11. Meantime, no matter how old you are or what reading level you're at, these great books - all based on the upcoming movie! Want to be a trivia? The more books you read, the more stuff you know. Lucky for you, there are lots of books out there - for kids - about tons of topics that can help you build up the trivia library in your mind! Kaela discovers that her ancestors are from a different world. But their family suffers from a curse that only Kaela can break. Follow Kaela through The Hole in the Sky, a novel by Barbara A. Mahler. Babymouse may be small in stature but her imagination is enormous! Check out Kidzworld’s review of her latest adventure in Babymouse Dragonslayer! Got magic on your mind? While magicians hardly ever reveal their secrets, you can learn all sorts of classic and cool tricks with best-seller The Klutz Book Of Magic, which comes with props and instructions to totally mystify your friends and family! When his friend Luke disappears, Seth knows that it’s not your average runaway. Luke was taken by Tall Jake, the ruler of the comic book world, Malice. Kidzworld reviews Malice by Chris Wooding Rebel Stone, the self-proclaimed "Ghost Hunter," enlists the help of two twin ghosts to help stop an alien invasion. Kidzworld reviews Rebel Stone and the Ghost Whisperers by Walter Rouzer.

Posted by: Nick Redfern on May 14th, 2013 If crypto-fiction is your thing, then a certain, forthcoming book from Roland Smith may appeal. Its title is Chupacabra. No guessing the subject-matter! Here’s what we’re told about the book: “Monsters of legend come to life! The third thrilling title in Roland Smith’s popular Cryptid Hunters series. A mysterious creature, a missing girl, and danger at every turn… “CHUPACABRA, the riveting sequel to TENTACLES and CRYPTID HUNTERS, reunites Marty and his unusual uncle, cryptozoologist Travis Wolfe, as they search the world for Wolfe’s daughter, Grace. Grace has been kidnapped by her grandfather, the ruthless and dangerous Noah Blackwood, who has also stolen the two dinosaur hatchlings Wolfe was raising in secrecy. Now, with word that the mysterious creature known as Chupacabra has been sighted again, Wolfe is torn between his obsession with finding cryptids and his desperate need to rescue his daughter. With trouble at every turn and a dangerous journey ahead, will Marty and Wolfe come face-to-face with the mythic monster? Even more frightening, will they reach Grace before it’s too late?” If that gets you in the mood for a bit of monster-fiction, you can already pre-order it right here… Punk music fan, Tennents Super and Carlsberg Special Brew beer fan, horror film fan, chocolate fan, like to wear black clothes, like to stay up late. Work as a writer.

Tag Archives: oregon LOS ANGELES – ABC has just announced the next Bachelor: Lamar Hurd of Portland, Oregon, the show’s first bachelor of color. Bat Boy: The Musical is being being performed November 4-19 at the University of Oregon, Eugene! PORTLAND, OR – Festivities ramp up for the 5th Annual National Soup Swap Day. PORTLAND, OR – After a 1,900% tax hike was proposed to help the state budget, Oregon residents have protested by dumping beer into the Portland harbor. BLUE MOUNTAINS, OR – After a spate of high-profile Twitter accounts were hacked, the world’s most famous cryptid became the next victim.

Thursday, November 1, 2012 When Roland Smith was an aspiring writer attending Portland State University, he took a part-time job working with animals at a zoo. This part-time interest eventually became a full-time passion and, ultimately, a lengthy career. After twenty years as a wildlife biologist, the native Oregonian turned to writing full time in 1995, and found success in blending his experience as a wildlife biologist with his talent as a writer. To date, Smith has published thirty-three young adult fiction and children’s nonfiction books, including B is for Beaver and I,Q. While many of his young adult books feature adventures and mysteries that only the books’ heroes (teenage kids) can ultimately resolve, Smith has also generated numerous informative books about wild animals for his younger audience. We caught up with him on his farm outside of Portland to elaborate on his work. How has travel as a research biologist fueled your writing? I think everything in an author’s life ends up in their stories, because it’s part of their life. I had the good fortune to travel all over the world as a biologist, and these places and experiences end up in my novels. I got the idea for my first novel, Thunder Cave, while I was in Kenya during a severe drought. I was told about a cave where elephants go to get salt. It amazed me that they would actually go into a cave to do this. Wild elephants are not used to anything over their heads. My love of elephants, and what I saw in Kenya, led me to write the book. What lessons do animals in your books impart on kids? I’m careful not to offer up “lessons” because that’s pretty close to “preaching,” which I despise when I’m reading a book. Having said that, the animal information in my novels is very accurate. As a former research biologist, I can’t help myself. Readers are going to get a good adventure story, but they are also going to learn a lot about the animals we share the planet with. You write action and suspense books that involve natural disasters and the world of espionage. One of the reviewers of Independence Hall called you the “American Ian Fleming for teens.” What do you think of this comparison? That’s a heck of a compliment. I wish it were true. But I keep trying. The main character of the I,Q series is a teenager named Q, an adventurous and inquisitive young man who aspires to be a magician and has a propensity for math. Is his character modeled after aspects of you growing up? I think, in a way, you do look back on your youth and try to mine your experiences, and more importantly your emotions, when you were young. I was interested in magic, was not bad at math and I did read the 007 books when I was in fifth grade. I have to admit though that Q is a lot smarter than I was when I was his age. Some of your main characters, often teens, perform extraordinary feats on their own. Is this the ultimate teenage fantasy? I think it is. It’s also a requirement for the genre. Authors of young adult books need to get rid of the adults or there isn’t a story. If a young person gets into trouble, they go to their parents, and the parents take care of it. End of story. But not so in young adult fiction. If you want to write a story with conflict and tension that is more than ten pages long, the parents have to go so your character, or characters, can resolve the problem on their own. Do you perceive a sharp line between teen content and adult content? I’m sure there is a line, but I don’t really think about it very much. A lot of adults are now reading young adult literature because it’s great. The main characters in my books are young, therefore the books are marketed for young people. How is your subject material impacted by current events? Most of my novels are contemporary, so current events—whether the story deals with environmental issues or terrorism—are vital to the stories. You can’t get away from the streaming twenty-four hour news cycle. It’s distracting, but you can mine some good ideas from all the noise. In addition to getting a nice, comfortable chair, what other advice do you have for aspiring writers? Ha! Actually, I spend most of my writing time standing up. I have this very cool standup desk wi th a motor to raise and lower it. The process of actually writing is sedentary enough without sitting down to do it. So I stand. Hard to doze off when you’re on your feet. I think the most important thing to tell aspiring writers is that they need to write. Sounds obvious I know, but what I mean is that you can’t become a good writer unless you’re actually writing. Wanting to be a writer and not writing is like wanting to be a marathon runner and not running. You can’t get in shape by thinking running, or reading about running or watching someone run, you must get out there and run. You need to write every day. Momentum is everything when you’re trying to write a book. We all have busy lives. Write 500 words a day, which is about two pages. Move your story forward 500 words every day so you don’t lose your momentum. You’ll have a draft of your novel in about five months. If you don’t miss any days. I’ve heard that you write the first drafts of your books by hand. I don’t always write the first drafts of my books by hand, although I think this is a good way to go. By writing with pen on paper you are less tempted to edit what you’re writing. And I don’t think your first draft should be edited. There is plenty of time for that later. To keep the writing process interesting, I write by hand in Moleskine journals, I write on my computer, my iPad and I sometimes dictate—but I always get in my 500 words a day without fail. As technology evolves, do you anticipate any changes in reaching your target audience? The Kindle-Nook-iPad has turned everything upside down in traditional publishing. No one knows what’s going to happen. All they know is that it’s happening right now. I think I’m in pretty good shape because I have a lot of books out, and a well-established reading audience waiting for my newest book. When I’m not writing, I keep my fingers crossed. What are you working on right now? My newest book is Shatterproof, which is one of the 39 Clues novels. The third book in the I,Q series came out in October. It’s called I,Q Book Three: Kitty Hawk. I just finished the third Cryptid Hunter book. It will be out in September, 2013. It’s called Chupacabra. I’m working on the fourth book in the Cryptid Hunters series. No title yet. I’m about four days into it, which means it’s currently 2,000 words long. At 500 words a day, I should have it wrapped up around March. How does living in Oregon influence your work? I was born and raised in Oregon. I love Oregon. Writing is a portable occupation. I could live anywhere in the world. Where do I live? Oregon. And it rains a lot in the Willamette Valley, which is great because it keeps you inside standing at your desk. For the latest on Roland Smith, visit rolandsmith.com Feb 14, 2013

Posted by: Loren Coleman on March 16th, 2009 Okay, I know you are familiar with the drawings like the following from the West Coast of North America, of Cadborosaurus or Caddy, the Sea Serpents off the PNW. The high art representation of Caddy is also now well-known. It is shown below, on the cover of the most pivotal book produced on the cryptozoological search for these cryptids. Nevertheless, we do have to be open to examining this intriguingly insightful drawing-photo comparison, now don’t we? Moose (North America) or elk (Eurasia), Alces alces, however, are lake and river swimmers, and not often seen out to sea. But seriously, the most silly of the photographs presented for the mirror image aquatic monsters, Cadborosaurus and Ogopogo, generally look similar to the following. Look, look, quick, hey, the one below is not a fake or fuzzy blobmonster photo! It turns out it is an otter. Observers first spotted this sea otter cavorting in the waters of Depoe Bay twice in February 2009, in front of the Oregon Parks and Recreation Department’s Whale Watching Center. The last of Oregon’s native sea otters disappeared in 1906, and marine scientists are trying to determine the residency of this otter. (Courtesy, Morris Grover) Of course, without the photograph, no one would have believed these sighting reports, if recent history is any guide. “There have been sightings through the years, so it’s not unprecedented,” said Jim Rice, coordinator of the Oregon Marine Mammal Stranding Network at Oregon State University’s Hatfield Marine Science Center. “But most of the so-called sea otter sightings have been river otters. It’s a good likelihood this is a wandering animal from Washington or California.” Several folks, among them at least three staff members of the Yaquina Head Outstanding Natural Area, spotted what they thought was a sea otter just west of the Yaquina Heads Lighthouse on January 13, 2009, and reported the sighting to Rice. They watched it for about 45 minutes through binoculars and spotting scope before it swam northward around the headland and out of sight. “They described a good-sized otter-like animal swimming on its back, initially in close proximity to a large rafting group of common murres,” Rice noted in an e-mail report about the encounter. Two of those observers were rangers with the Bureau of Land Management “who seem to have a good understanding of the differences between river and sea otters.” In May 2008, Rice spoke to someone convinced he had seen a pair of sea otters through a spotting scope just west of Otter Rock off Beverly Beach. No confirmation was possible in either sighting, which makes the February 18, 2009, certification significant, according to media reports. Now, a little farther north, there is a new report, the first since 1913, of a sea otter sighting in Washington State, near the appropriately name Cape Disappointment. Imagine their excitement when Jen Zamon and Beth Phillips, seabird researchers from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration’s Point Adams Research Station, spotted a sea otter from North Head. Sea otter sightings around the mouth of the Columbia River are extremely rare. Sea otter populations are still recovering from the days of the fur trade, when the West Coast population was nearly wiped out for its luxurious undercoat of fur. The first modern Columbia sighting was on Thursday, March 12. The women from NOAA were performing their routine seabird and marine mammal survey near the North Head Lighthouse. Floating on its back, several kilometers offshore was a sea otter. They trained the “big eyes,” binoculars with grapefruit-sized optics, on the animal to confirm they were seeing a sea otter. They were treated with the quintessential pose – a sea otter floating on its back, rubbing its face with its forepaws. Later in the week, another sea otter was spotted at Cape Disappointment State Park by Jon Schmidt and Aaron Webster from the Lewis and Clark Interpretive Center. They got to see the sea otter floating on its back with something resting on its chest. “It appeared to be a crab,” said Webster, who cupped his hands to make an oval shape about 8 inches across. In February, a sea otter was observed in Depot Bay on the Oregon Coast, where they have been extinct since 1906. In June 1913, the Chinook Observer enthusiastically reported the very tail end of an era when it announced: “The first otter seen on the North Beach [as the Long Beach Peninsula was then known] for five years was sighted off Willapa Harbor Sunday by … a crab fisherman. Seven of the otters appeared in one family and were quite tame. Three of them were killed, and one was a ‘silver-tip,’ eight feet in length, with a pelt valued at $1,200. The value of the pelts range from $100 to $1,500. Formerly otters were numerous along the beach, but disappeared completely a few years ago. Their return means the reopening of the business of otter hunting, which made fortunes for many a fisherman years ago.” Most purported “sea otter” sightings in modern times are really just river otters taking dips in the ocean. Both species are members of the weasel, or mustelid, family, a group that includes everything from minks to wolverines. But sea otters and river otters are about as different as pit bulls and Chihuahuas. Several characteristics can help you identify which type of otter you are seeing: “An adult sea otter can be about four feet long (excluding the tail) and weigh in at about 100 pounds. (River otters, by comparison, grow to about three feet long (excluding the tail) and max out at about 30 pounds.) Sea otters are stout animals with a thick multi-layered coat of fur. The fur on their bodies is dark brown while the fur on their heads is usually a lighter tan color. All four feet on a sea otter are webbed, with the back feet looking more like the flippers of a seal. If the otter you see is dark-bodied with a light head, it might be a sea otter.” * * * Because sea otters are so rare, confirmed sightings are important to report. If you see a sea otter, gather as much detail about the sighting as possible – its color, what it was doing, and where it was – then call the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service at 360-753-9545 to report your sighting. by Julie Tennis, Washington State Parks, Source Okay, so there are otters there and they are back. People who said they had been seeing them were not insane. So maybe, just maybe, could there still be room for a pod of Caddys swimming around in the marine environment off the coast of Washington State and British Columbia? Jeff H. Johnson’s sculptured model of Cadborosaurus. Blogs are free. Saving the International Cryptozoology Museum from selling off its contents and/or going into foreclosure in the next few months is no joke. The next six months are critical. Your help is needed. The IRS troubles put the museum in an incredible hole. Please remember to donate to the museum, in any amount, and today you may use PayPal to [email protected] (not the Cryptomundo button above), direct a check, money order, or, if outside the USA, an international postal money order made out “International Cryptozoology Museum” to International Cryptozoology Museum c/o Loren Coleman PO Box 360 Portland, ME 04112 An easy-to-use donation button (FOLLOWING) is available merely by clicking the DONATE button below, which takes you to a donation site without you having to be a member of PayPal. Thank you, everyone! Where are all the cryptozoology donor angels? What will your post-Heuvelmans’ legacy be? A donation of $10 is just as important as one for $100. Want a special display dedicated to your favorite cryptid, in your honor for a $2000 donation? $10,000? As mentioned before, the ICM is not a 501(c)3. But the credit to your soul is worth a good deal more. Thank You. Loren Coleman is one of the world’s leading cryptozoologists, some say “the” leading. Certainly, he is acknowledged as the current living American researcher and writer who has most popularized cryptozoology in the late 20th and early 21st centuries. Starting his fieldwork and investigations in 1960, after traveling and trekking extensively in pursuit of cryptozoological mysteries, Coleman began writing to share his experiences in 1969. An honorary member of Ivan T. Sanderson’s Society for the Investigation of the Unexplained in the 1970s, Coleman has been bestowed with similar honorary memberships of the North Idaho College Cryptozoology Club in 1983, and in subsequent years, that of the British Columbia Scientific Cryptozoology Club, CryptoSafari International, and other international organizations. He was also a Life Member and Benefactor of the International Society of Cryptozoology (now-defunct). Loren Coleman’s daily blog, as a member of the Cryptomundo Team, served as an ongoing avenue of communication for the ever-growing body of cryptozoo news from 2005 through 2013.

Latest Food and drink Stories Latest report, "Global Sugar Substitutes Market Analysis, Size And Segment Forecasts To 2020", available at Grand View Research database. - The BBVA-produced documentary shows world's first gastronomic tour MADRID, Jan. Swap classic mint jelly for vibrant "mint chimichurri" for a fresh, but familiar, flavor DENVER, Jan. Report Offers Insights to Food Safety Professionals for Choosing a Reliable Testing Solution and Method WARREN, N.J., Jan. MILFORD, Conn., Jan. Brand Taps Iconic TV Family for Ad and Offers Fans Chance to Release Full Spot Before Game HACKETTSTOWN, N.J., Jan. TV Host, Author and Actress Joins Food, Nutrition and Fitness Experts to Solve Everyday Problems, Like Diet Debacles and Limited Time for Workouts MODESTO, Calif., Jan. TSX-V: HEOOTCQX: HEOFFAlternext: MNEMO: ALHEO QUEBEC, Jan. The increasingly popular ancient, organic and non-GMO KAMUT® wheat is the ideal ancient grain to incorporate into a healthy and well-rounded diet in the New Year Big Latest Report, "Global Functional Food Market Analysis, Size And Segment Forecasts To 2020", available at Grand View Research database. The Lacaune is a breed of domestic sheep that originated from the Lacaune region near southern France, from which it was named. Although it is now used for milk production, it once only produced 18.4 gallons during the human milking period each year. The French government established a strict selective breeding program that included rigorous breeding and meticulous record keeping, as well as increased knowledge about the care of the breed and cooperation of farmers across the area. This... The Iberian pig, also known as the black Iberian pig, is a breed of domestic pig that originated on the Iberian Peninsula in areas including Spain and Portugal. It is thought that this breed can be traced back to the Neolithic era, when animal domestication first began, but the most accepted theory pertaining to the origin of this breed states that domesticated pigs were brought over by the Phoenicians and allowed to breed with wild boars, producing what is thought to be the ancestors of the... The Orang Pendek is an ape-like cryptid claimed to inhabit the mountain forests of Sumatra. It has been seen and documented by local tribes, villagers, scientists and travelers for over 100 years. Although sightings have been throughout Sumatra, recent reports occur within the borders of the Kerinci Seblat National Park in Central Sumatra. The park is just south of the equator in the Bukit Barisan mountain range featuring remote rainforests. There are no photographs of the Orang Pendek,... Annona squamosa is a large shrub/small tree speices. The plant belongs to the Annonaceae family. A. squamosa is one of the most widely cultivated plants in the family. Annona squamosa plants may grow anywhere from 9 to 26 feet tall, its tree or shrub classification is dependent on the plants size in height. It has many branches that may be broad, open crown or spreading. The species produces an edible fruit that may be referred to as “sugar apple”. The plant is relatively easy to... Piper nigrum is a flowering vine species. The plant may also be commonly referred to as Black Pepper. The species belongs to the Piperaceae family. It is indigenous to south India; however the plant is widely cultivated worldwide. The fruit, often referred to as its drupe, is sought after and dried. The spice or seasoning is used as the common, table black pepper. To date, Vietnam produces the largest amount of pepper, exporting 34% of the entire world’s pepper supply. P. nigrum may be... - Monstrous in size or character; huge; prodigious; monstrously perverse, savage, cruel, etc.

I had the honor and privilege of reading an advance copy of Russell James’s latest foray into the world of magic and dark terror, Dreamwalker. I absolutely loved it and think it’s his best to date. It’s finally out and ready to be devoured by hungry horror readers. Here, in the Magic Man’s own words, is how the fiction became stark fact… This time around, my novel creeped me out. When I wrote Dreamwalker, I wanted to set it in a location that emphasized the duality that the main character, Pete Holm, lives in. I’d read about Atlantic City and how the promise of casinos hadn’t created the promised city-wide rejuvenation. Atlantic Avenue divided the city, separating the glitter of the high-rise hotels from the poverty of the rundown residential areas. The location seemed perfect. I’d never been to Atlantic City, or Philadelphia, another location in the book. But MapQuest is amazing, and I used grids of the streets to flesh out my fantasy versions. Pete takes a bus, so I Googled the bus station locations and schedules just to make sure such places existed. After the second draft of the story was completed, I had a free weekend in Maryland and decided to visit these places I’d so casually created based on a few thin facts. I headed to Atlantic City, hoping I could work in some real-life observations to the story. I drove through the city and went into shock. Locations I’d created in my mind’s eye were here in real life, almost doorframe for doorframe. The restaurant Pete works in, the rundown homes, the decaying basketball court. It didn’t feel like I was exploring someplace new, it felt like I was returning to In the late afternoon, I drove to Philadelphia, taking the same route my character takes when he tries to find the identity of the girlfriend in his dreams. In the city, I followed my invented route to her fictional hospice. There was no hospice, but there was a doctor’s office with an entrance that looked just as I’d imagined the hospice’s did. It gave me chills. Dreamwalker is about a college student who enters an alternate reality when he dreams. Did I enter some alternate subconscious reality when I invented the locations for my book? I don’t know. If I could, it would sure make writing the next novel is much easier. Dreamwalker is the sixth novel that Russell James has published with Samhain Horror under legendary horror editor Don D’Auria! Two realities. One hope. What if you lived in two worlds, and could die in either? Pete Holm can. He is a dreamwalker, able to travel to the realm of dreams, including the devastated world of Twin Moon City, where an evil voodoo spirit holds living souls in terror with his army of the walking dead. In the waking world, drug lord Jean St. Croix knows only the power of the dreamwalker can stop him, so St. Croix vows Pete must die. Pete is the only hope to rescue the lost souls in Twin Moon City…unless St. Croix kills him first. Can anyone survive when two realities collide? Barnes and Noble: - Open reviewer giveaway: Anyone who reviews Dreamwalker on Amazon and one other site like GoodReads, etc. and sends Erin Al-Mehairi, publicist, their links to [email protected] will be entered to win a $20 Amazon gift card. This contest ends on Feb. 28, 2015. - Rafflecoper giveaway for two copies of Russell’s previous books. Two winners will each win one of two books, Black Magic and Dark Inspiration. US only, no international shipping. Must use a valid email that you can be reached by. By entering the giveaway, you consent to allow Russell to have your email for very infrequent newsletter updates. Contest ends Feb. 28, 2015. Other contest questions can be referred to Erin Al-Mehairi, publicist, Hook of a Book Media at [email protected]. Praise for Russell R. James “James has a talent for combining action-packed vignettes into a powerful, fast-paced whole.” —Library Journal on Black Magic (Five Stars, A Night Owl Top Pick) “I loved the story so much that I’m eagerly waiting to read more from him. He carefully and very intricately wove his storyline to have elements of mystery and suspense throughout. I now have a new favorite book I’ll read over and over again.” —Night Owl Reviews on Dark Inspiration “The book had me at the edge of my seat. The writing is so vivid I even jumped a few times. If you’re a fan of the genre, love ghosts and are drawn to the supernatural, then do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of this book!” —Long and Short Reviews on Dark Inspiration Russell R. James, Biography Russell James grew up on Long Island, New York and spent too much time watching Chiller, Kolchak: The Night Stalker, and The Twilight Zone, despite his parents’ warnings. Bookshelves full of Stephen King and Edgar Allan Poe didn’t make things better. He graduated from Cornell University and the University of Central Florida. After a tour flying helicopters with the U.S. Army, he now spins twisted tales best read in daylight. He has written the paranormal thrillers Dark Inspiration, Sacrifice, Black Magic, Dark Vengeance, and Dreamwalker. He has two horror short story collections, Tales from Beyond and Deeper into Darkness. His next novel, Q Island, releases in 2015. His wife reads what he writes, rolls her eyes, and says “There is something seriously wrong with you.” Visit his website at www.russellrjames.com and read some free short stories. He and his wife share their home in sunny Florida with two cats. To find out more about Russell R. James, please visit his Website or follow him on Facebook! Join him on Twitter, @RRJames14. Also, feel free to drop him at a line at [email protected]. Here’s a first for me. My book, ISLAND OF THE FORBIDDEN, inspired a reader to write about her own haunting experience. Aniko Carmean is a writer of superb, speculative fiction. We’ve been cyber buds for several years now, supporting one another as we attempt to grow as writerly types. Anyone who appreciates fine, intelligent stories needs to check out her new lovechild, ODD SKY BOOKS. She’s crafting some of the finest tales you’ll find today. What I didn’t know all these years was that Aniko had her own, hair raising brush with the unknown. Thankfully, she took the time to put it into chilling words and wants to share it with the class. I live in a haunted house and I even got goose bumps reading this. So turn down the lights, charge your EMF meter and read on… I’m a military brat, and when I was in high school, my father was stationed in Belgium. We lived off-base in a small village. Our three-hundred year old house was on the village’s grand place, directly across the street from the ancient church that had been bombed and rebuilt in at least one of the European wars to roll across that dismal, chill land. The only functional fireplace had an intricate carved bronze inlay, the attic was closed off by a heavy wooden door that predated my family’s immigration to the United States by centuries, and the kitchen’s exposed beams begged to be festooned with drying herbs. It looked old, not scary – in the daylight. I am not like Jessica Backman in Hunter Shea’s novel Island of the Forbidden. I cannot banish what she calls energy beings (EB), and what I call ghosts, nor do I seek supernatural encounters. I can, however, see, hear, and feel ghosts. I discovered my ability when I lived for three years in a that house, the one in Belgium. More than twenty years have passed, but reading Island of the Forbidden awakened memories of my time in the haunted house. Aspects of Jessica’s encounters in the isolated Ormsby House are similar to my experiences in Belgium, and I thought it might be of interest to the ghost-hunters, skeptics, and the simply curious if I shared a little of what I remember. Many haunted house stories describe unaccountable and unnaturally loud thudding sounds. Ormsby House in Shea’s Island responded to the intrusion of the visitors with thunderous house-rattling. Similar thudding greeted my sister and I on our first night in Belgium. Our room was on the top floor, just below the attic. The sounds started as a tapping somewhere at the far side of the attic, and grew to a sledgehammer thud as whatever was making the noise crossed the attic. When it was directly overhead, the noise was so loud I was certain the ceiling was going to break open and tumble death down upon us. My sister and I were crouched together on the mattress that didn’t yet have a bedstead, clutching hands and staring up at the ceiling. Then, as suddenly as it started, the banging stopped. I don’t believe either of us mentioned the possibility of a ghost – not then – but I don’t think we slept, either. In Island of the Forbidden, a drop in temperature is an indicator of the presence of EBs. “Cold spots” are also a part of my experience in Belgium. The old house was drafty, and the attic itself was built such that it was open to the outdoors all along the eaves. It was never warm in the winter, but even in the summer, there were times that the cold in one area was palpably more frigid than the ambient temperature. This occurred mostly at night, when a layer of cold would hover above me as I tried to sleep. The cold carried the sensation of a presence. There is little that is more terrifying than intuiting something malevolent that is invisibly cloaked in cold. The malfunction of electronics is another common hallmark of a haunting. There are plenty of high-tech hijinks in Island, and the characters struggle against an onslaught of cameras on the fritz, drained batteries, and power outages. When I was in Belgium, I recall only one peculiar electronic malfunction, but remember that my experience predates smartphones, iPads, and itty-bitty digital cameras, so there were fewer electronics for an EB to afflict. What I did have was a voice-activated tape recorder(!), which I put in the attic. I hoped to capture some of the strange noises that my family had heard up there and share them with my friends. I expected to record footsteps that seemed to walk into a non-existent distance, or the sound of shattering glass, or even – and best! – the voices of men speaking in French as they played cards. What I got was a creepy amalgam of disturbances, starting with the sound of footsteps and low, male voices. The recorder captured the scuffing of the instrument being shoved across the floor, and then a long stretch of silence. Minutes passed, and then came a series of violent bangs, as if the recorder were being stomped or bashed with something. Indeed, when I retrieved the instrument, it was halfway across the room from where I left it. After the first time I listened to the tape, the cassette player seized; it would not open to let me take out the tape, nor would it play the tape, even with new batteries. Years later, after we moved back to the States, the cassette player did work again, but unfortunately the tape itself was damaged. In haunting stories, the visual sighting of ghosts is the pièce de résistance. Island of the Forbidden is full of apparitions which present themselves in gory detail to the characters sensitive to seeing them. I am not gifted like Jessica’s compatriot Eddie, and the ghosts in Belgium never showed me their faces. One ghost appeared only at night. A maternal, safe feeling flowed from her presence, which manifested as a fuzzy mass of white light. I slept deeply and peacefully on the nights she hovered at the far side of my room. There were other shapes, though, that were defined by an absence of light. In my most terrifying incident, I was wrapped in my towel and walking to my room after showering in the creepy bath where I never felt like I was alone. It was winter, and already pitch black outside. As I passed my sister’s room, I saw her sitting on the edge of her bed, in the dark. I asked her if everything was okay, but she didn’t answer. Water dripped from the ends of my hair, icy cold, and a realization hit me: the person on the bed was far too large to be my sister. As if sensing my understanding, the shadow stood. The shape was that of a man, and laugh if you will, but he wore a stove pipe hat. I couldn’t see any features, just the cut of his clearly old-fashioned garb, and that hat. I was frozen, gripping my towel around myself, staring. He extended a hand to me and I did the only sensible thing; I turned on the hall light. He disappeared, and even when I was brave enough to shut of the light again, he was gone. As a result of my experiences in that house, I am a discerning aficionado of all haunting stories. Island of the Forbidden makes it onto my approved list of haunted house tales, and joins the likes of Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House and James’s The Turn of the Screw. Hunter Shea gives his EBs backstory and reason, which makes for an engaging read, especially when combined with the authenticity of the supernatural events in the story. If you want to revisit your own haunting, or have never experienced ghosts and want to know what it feels like, I recommend reading Island of the Forbidden. Aniko Carmean is a speculative fiction author living in Austin, Texas. She loves ancho-chocolate milkshakes, October, and dogs. You can read her stories for free by visiting Odd Sky Books and signing up to become a member of the Odd Literati. You can follow the Island of the Forbidden blog tour by clicking the image below. It will also take you to a Rafflecopter link where I’m giving away 5 books! Enter to win. It’s been almost 2 years since Jessica Backman’s last foray into the world of the unknown, but she’s finally back. ISLAND OF THE FORBIDDEN has been officially released. Jessica is in her early twenties now and completely disenfranchised with the entire concept of ghost hunting. Knowing that she draws the dead to her, empowering those with less than noble intentions, she’s distanced herself from her family, friends and uber psychic, Eddie Home. Instead of running to the dead, she’s now running from them. Eddie is now a shell of his former self. The power surge he had to employ to save Jessica and the family they were helping in SINISTER ENTITY has left him drained. He’s plagued by the cries of the dead, unable to help them. Despite their weakness, Eddie and Jessica are both drawn to haunted Ormsby Island off the South Carolina coast. There’s an old mansion there and a secret so taboo, so terrifying, the world has done its best to wipe it from its collective memory. To save the living, they must face their deepest fears. Early reviews have been great! “When I’m ready to reconsider my views of the afterlife, of the nature and motivations of individuals, of the meanings of life and purpose, I look to Hunter Shea. He brings to the early 21st century the kind of thought-provoking literary horror that Ambrose Bierce gave to the 19th century.” Mallory Heart Reviews “Island of the Forbidden” is the ultimate haunted house story. There are all of the elements for an explosive story in which everything goes wrong. And in “Island of the Forbidden,” everything goes wrong.” Examiner.com “The story is a non-stop rush from the first chapter to the satisfying, terrifying end. This is 2015’s first must-read for the horror fan.” Russell James, author of Dark Vengeance and Dreamwalker “Island of the Forbidden has it all, ghosts, an evil presence, psychics, creepy dead children, an old haunted house, the list goes on. I couldn’t put it down!” – Scarlet’s Web reviews If ghost stories are you thing, I wrote this book just for you. This isn’t your momma’s ghost tale. Oh no. You can order a copy of ISLAND OF THE FORBIDDEN (ebook or trade paperback) at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Samhain Publishing and wherever books are sold. If you get it, give me a shout and let me know what you think of it. We’re also kicking off a HUGE blog tour, thanks to Hook of a Book Media. Click on the graphic below to see all the stops. Special thanks to Tim Busbey for his graphics expertise. I’ll be giving away lots o books along the way! With only 5 days until the release of my next book, ISLAND OF THE FORBIDDEN, I thought it was time to talk a little about my brave ghost warrior, Jessica Backman. This is her third book and it’s strange how life is starting to imitate art, years after art was created to imitate life. It all started with my very first book, FOREST OF SHADOWS. When I wrote FOS, my two girls were toddlers. My oldest was just about the same age as Jessica in the book, 6. Naturally, characteristic traits of both girls were woven into the fiber of Jessica – curious, precocious, at times braves, other times unsure and afraid. My wife and I back then talked about having 4 kids, all girls if possible. Jessica had long been a frontrunner on our list of baby names. When my wife’s sister had a baby and named her Jessica, even before she knew I was writing about a little girl with the same name, well, it kind of seemed as if this little character had come to life and joined the family. I ended FOS on a pretty definitive note and thought, that’s that. Ain’t it cool that we now have an actual little Jessica in the family? The book was done, years later it was published and I suddenly couldn’t stop thinking about Jessica. What would become of a little girl who’d seen so much? Where was she now? How would she look? How does she hide her scars? (and I was quietly happy that my niece Jessica had led a normal, uneventful life) When my editor asked me for my next project, I said I was going to write one where Jessica was the main character. I moved the story ahead 13 years so she was now 19, smart, witty, foul mouthed and following in her deceased father’s ghost (or as she says, EB) hunting footsteps. A person could go two ways after experiencing what she had in Alaska. They could never think or speak of the supernatural again, or they could press on, armed with the feeling that lightning never strikes twice. In SINISTER ENTITY, Jessica is pretty much a know-it-all badass with proof that there’s a whole new life after death and she isn’t afraid to chase down its secrets. And like all teens, she doesn’t know as much as she thinks she does. Staring into the abyss without hesitation, something glares right back and it rocks her. When I wrote SE, I had one girl in her teens and the other right behind her. My youngest was starting to gain an interest in the paranormal, just like Jessica. Both were unafraid of ghosts, mainly because we live with one. I don’t presume to know what it behind the unofficial fifth member of our family, but he’s here, just the same. As Jessica grew, so did they, and their personalities had started to meld. With more tales to tell, I’ve brought Jessica back in ISLAND OF THE FORBIDDEN. Now in her early 20’s, she’s scared of herself and for the first time is afraid of both the worlds of the living and the dead. A grown woman now, she can’t just plow forward without thinking of the consequences. Once youth is lost, there is no getting it back. With that loss comes the flowering of fear. And with age comes the complications of relationships with family, friends and for Jessica, a man. I see those girl-boy complications all the times with my girls. It makes me glad I’m not single! In a strange way, Jessica has become a third daughter to us – albeit one who doesn’t need new clothes every season or leaves dirty dishes all around the house. She’s growing right along with my kids, though a little faster. I may have to slow her down so they call catch up. The best and most complicated parts of Jessica come from my own girls. And I do see them adopting some of her traits, even though they haven’t read the books (saving that for a couple of years from now). It’s fascinating to witness, and an honor to write. These 3 particular books have been the most personal to me. Art always intersects with life in some fashion. I’m excited to see where the family goes next. Well, looks like I survived another #Horrortober. I finished the month having watched 41 horror movies. I think I tied my 2012 record. I have to go check the old files to be sure. The sad thing is, I didn’t even get to about 10 movies I had set aside to watch. I’ll have to save them for December when I’ll need some counter-programming to the slew of sappy Christmas specials. I also managed to finish the first draft of my next cryptid novel. Rewrite process starts tomorrow. I’ll reveal the beastie the book is about in the coming months. Now, on to something that just elevated my day. As you all know, my weird western, HELL HOLE, came out this past July. Because it was out a month after THE MONTAUK MONSTER, it kinda got lost in the shuffle, though I’m making up for it with mini blog tour this month. Matt over at HORROR NOVEL REVIEWS sent me an email and link to their review of HELL HOLE a couple of days ago. You literally couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. Here are some snippets from the review : There’s a fine line that separates a very good writer and a truly great writer. Very good writers get it right sometimes, great writers rarely, if ever, let us down, releasing nothing but riveting piece after riveting piece. Stephen King is a great writer. Joe Lansdale is a great writer. Jack Ketchum, Jonathan Maberry, Clive Barker, those are great writers. Today, Hunter Shea – in this mind – completes the transition from very good writer to great writer. This man will not let you down, and he’ll just about always give you a taste of his personal trademarks, like the presence of monsters and key heroic ensembles. It’s what he does. It’s part of what makes him great. The five (main characters) make for one of the greatest ensembles I’ve had the fortune of discovering in any novel, ever. Shea is one of the absolute best in the business in 2014, and I’m going to go ahead and say it, Hell Hole is the best horror novel of the year. To read the entire review, click here. While you’re there, poke around the site. It’s the best place for a horror lover to spend a day. I’ve always been reluctant to mention reviews, knowing it’s part of the business, but also leery of tooting my own horn. This review is the stuff you dream of when you decide that you want to be a writer. To even be mentioned alongside my heroes – King, Barker, Ketchum and Lansdale – is more thrilling and humbling than you can imagine. It’s always a little scary, sharing a very personal labor of love with the world so it can be scrutinized. At the very least, I always hope my books give people a little escape from an insane world. And Hell Hole was a labor of love. I wrote it for my dad, who loved westerns and showed me the horror ropes. Hey may have passed before I had a chance to give it to him to read, but I know he’s enjoying it, and this review, at this very moment. In other good news, my next Samhain novel, ISLAND OF THE FORBIDDEN, the sequel to 2013’s SINISTER ENTITY, is now listed on Samhain’s site and can be pre-ordered on December 7th (which is both Pearl Harbor Day and the day I got engaged to my wife back in 1990). In this one, I put Jessica Backman in a very, very bad place. Why am I so mean to her? Sometimes, the dead are best left in peace. Jessica Backman has been called to help a strange family living on a haunted island in Charleston Harbor. Ormsby Island was the site of a brutal massacre two decades ago, and now the mysterious Harper family needs someone to exorcise the ghosts that still call it home. The phantoms of over one hundred children cannot rest. But something far more insidious is living on the island. When the living and the dead guard their true intentions, how can Jessica discover just what sort of evil lurks on Ormsby Island? And why is Jessica the only one who can plumb its dark depths? ISLAND comes out the first week in January, along with a slew of other books by great authors like Jonathan Janz, Russell James and Glenn Rolfe. This isn’t an island you want to be stranded on, even if Maryanne and Ginger are there. What better day to kick off a mini-blog tour for my weird western, HELL HOLE, than on Halloween? There’s guaranteed to be something in that twisted yarn to make you say your prayers before turning out the light. To follow the tour (with guest posts, interviews and reviews), all you need to do is click the banner below. Big thanks, as always, to Erin at Hook of a Book for putting it all together. And check this out. My main monster man, Jack Campisi, just released an official Monster Men music video. It’s going to be displayed on our YouTube channel, Monster Men 13. Tired of ‘All About That Bass’ playing in circles in your brain? Let the Monster Men take over! Perfect background music while you put on your Halloween costume today! We expect to get no fewer than 300 trick or treaters tonight as we rock our annual house party. Hope I’ll have enough brain cells left this weekend to finish my next cryptid novel. What are you all doing for Halloween? Please tell me my neighborhood isn’t the last bastion for balls to the wall trick or treating. I’m writing this from deep in the abandoned copper mines in Hecla, Wyoming. It’s kinda dark in here but the internet access is surprisingly good. I just spotted a pair of rough hombres skulking around. They have the spirits all riled up. Hope they know what they’re doing. As you may or may not know, my most recent novel, HELL HOLE, takes place right here in these mysterious hills. A pair of former Rough Riders plumb the very depths of these mines on the orders of none other than Teddy Roosevelt. What they encounter, well, let’s just say none of it’s good. Unless being harrassed by ghosts, black eyes kids, squatches and a whole host of craziness is your idea of a fun time. HELL HOLE was written with the Halloween season in mind. I want people to read horror as much as they watch it, especially this month of #Horrortober! So, here’s what I aim to do. I’m going to give a free ebook to everyone who does one of the following: - Go to Amazon, Barnes & Noble or Samhain’s website and post a review/rating for Hell Hole. Once you do, send an email to [email protected] with a link to your review or rating. - Purchase a copy of Hell Hole. Again, send a screen print or other proof of purchase to [email protected] One book per customer. This incredible offer lasts until October 31, 2014. This is all part of my plan to win the lottery and buy the most tricked out RV in history, convert it into a book mobile and travel the country handing out books and spreading the love of reading. So come on, show your love for HELL HOLE and Halloween. I’ll make it worth your while. Over the years listening to Jim Harold’s Paranormal Podcast and becoming a subscriber to his Plus club where I can feed my paranomral addiciton daily, I’ve become a bit of a fanboy. I told him recently that’s he’s become the Leonard Nimoy (ala In Search of…) of the modern day. A few years ago, I was on his Campfire Tales podcast, talking about the strange haunting I’ve been experiencing over the years. Well, you can imagine how thrilled I was when Jim emailed me saying he’d like to include it in his latest book, TRUE GHOST STORIES : JIM HAROLD’S CAMPFIRE 3. You can get a copy of Campfire 3 on your e-reader for just $2.99 – that’s less than a cup of coffee at Starbucks. In it, you’ll get 70 chilling tales of ghosts and high strangeness, as told by the people who experienced the unknown. You can also get it in paperback. Guess what I’m giving out to the trick or treaters this year! And while you’re at it, check out his FREE Paranormal Podcast. And if you’ve had a ghostly encounter, send him an email and be part of his Campfire Tales show. You just may end up in a future edition.

Volume 3, Issue v Myths and Legends Wild Greens 3, no. 05 (March 2023) Myths and Legends Welcome to the March 2023 issue of Wild Greens Myths and Legends is about transformation: shapes shift, humans become gods or monsters. The heroes of legends don’t always return, and if they do return, they’re changed. Myths connect us to shared human experiences, folklore connects us to our histories and to the earth. Hayley Boyle’s watercolor cover for this issue illustrates Mother Earth. Presence, fertility, growth, interconnectedness, deep roots. Melissa Lomax’s monsters, in mixed media collage, were originally made as artist trading cards. “Monster Collection” is comprised of small handheld cards that participate in a long tradition of moving art from museums to everyday life. Kristi Schirtzinger’s “The Final Dirge” tells the story of Queen Boudicca of the Celts’ massive battle against the Roman Empire. She prepares to give her life for the liberation of her daughters and her children. Angela Patera’s “Nyx (Goddess of the Night)” in watercolor and gel pens depicts a beautiful and terrible personification of night. “La Peña,” a poem by Erika Pettersen, draws upon the writer’s time in Oaxaca, Mexico, and the legends in the land. “Amatonormativity,” the first of two pieces of Lynne Marie Rosenberg, tackles a modern myth, perpetuated by cultural storytelling, that everyone is better off in long term exclusive coupled relationships. In watercolor and ink, the artist humorously depicts how it feels to be on the outside. “From where I grew, another followed,” a short story by Carly Lewis, is a spin on a folk tale of nature and survival. “Kali-Jayi,” digital art by Smrutirekha Dalai, takes on survival after death. Three breathtaking mosaics by Robin Brownfield: “Aphrodite — Athena — Medusa” portray three powerful women in Greek mythology. In Lauren Kimball’s latest Turtle and Hare, Hare seeks to change the old fable. To close the issue, four pieces around the myth-making of the everyday. In “The Quantum Lock that Binds Us,” a poem by Sean Lynch, legends walk on earth: a homeless man in Philadelphia is Blackbeard the Pirate. “Dust Bunnies” by Lynne Marie Rosenberg animates the mundane things around us. “Pain is unrealized wisdom, revolution is incessant,” a collage by Galen Passen, meditates on grief. “Icarus,” a short story by Megan Jauregui Eccles, takes us back to ancient Greece, where Daedalus the inventor mourns the death of his son. Table of Contents by Melissa Lomax collected papers, mixed media collage Inspiration: As a kid of the 1980's, I carried around a unicorn instead of a teddy bear and was amazed by mythical monsters in films like Clash of the Titans with stop-motion animation by Ray Harryhausen. This piece was inspired by some of my favorite movie monsters, cryptid creatures, and characters from my imagination. Originally created as artist trading cards, each 2.5” x 3.5” piece is collaged with upcycled materials, vintage papers, and enhanced with colored pencils. The Final Dirge by Kristi Schirtzinger I need to be alone more than I need shelter or food. The relentless tide of war songs (even my own name had become one: Boudicca! Boudicca!), the feuding clans, and the scorched earth stole the very marrow from my bones more than hunger ever had. I tell only Eilish, my general, that I am taking leave for a short respite and that no one is to follow me or be told where I am. As much as she vexes me with her insolence and single-mindedness, she is the only one who could begin to understand. She asks no probing questions, as I expect, and even kisses my cheek as I leave, though we had argued only hours before. I realized at that moment how much she reminds me of the sister I so miss. I take no mare, but stroll through the courtyard and well beyond the stables, to a small feral meadow where late summer intybus blooms. The bees are in their harvest frenzy, gathering resources to make it through another winter, and their methodic buzzing as I lay among them lulls me into a daydream. Behind my eyes, I visit myself at an earlier time, a time when I lay in this very meadow beside Prasutagus. Between us lay two-year-old Ceridwen, her bow-shaped mouth going slack against one breast as she falls into a milk stupor, and new-born Rhiannon, feeding greedily at my other nipple—her eyes, even then—searching the horizon. On the heels of that tranquility comes the memory of a dream from two nights past. I stood in a scruffy, flat moorland, encased in fog so dense it had weight. As I moved through it, I felt bones and the instruments of war at my feet. I tread cautiously, sometimes stepping on bone shards that made me wince, sometimes stumbling on shields and helmets. I could see no horizon, only a blind distance of white. I stopped when my toes slid beneath a tiny, intact skeleton. I knelt and picked it up, cradling the fragile head and torso in my hands. It was a baby, perhaps four moons old, whose hollow eyes came to life suddenly. The eyes, identical to mine, looked expectantly up to me, then the mouth began to coo or cry; I could not tell which, for it was voiceless. I put the skeleton to my breast and walked farther into the fog. As we trudged on, its brittle baby mouth turned soft and took its fill from my body. The fog began to clear, and the sun illuminated the bones, thick as autumn leaves at my feet. The skeleton at my breast smiled with her green eyes and full, dimpled cheeks. As I walked, her bones took on flesh and strength as my legs weakened and faltered. In the distance stood a cloaked woman, too far away to see her features, but close enough to see her beckoning hand. I felt she would interpret this strangeness if I could make it to her. Energy seeped from my legs like water from a cracked bowl, and I fell to my knees, coming down hard on bones that splintered under my weight. The baby showed no fear, only smiled into my eyes and grasped at my hair. I wrapped her and her kicking legs up in my cloak and tied it to my chest. Then, on my hands and knees, I crawled inch by slow inch toward the woman as the child watched the sunlight that danced across my gold torc. At long last, I reached the woman, and though I could not see her face, I knew when she held out her hands that she wanted the baby. I unwrapped her from my cloak. Her chubby arms reached toward the woman, and as she left my hands, I fell among the bones as the last strength in my body ebbed away. When I woke, I knew the meaning of the dream immediately. I rise reluctantly from the bees’ kingdom. Oh, what I would give to be in that queen’s army, a worker bee with one, sacred mission: food. I thank the bees for the music—it was a dirge, and I could ask for none finer—then walk farther out, to the little woodland we call Coed Bach, where I brought Ceridwen and Rhiannon often when they were too little to ride down the winding ramparts to Coetir Santaidd. In some ways I prefer Coed Bach. It was our private sanctuary, with no pressure to worship at the great oak. I showed them plants used for medicine and food, and a plant never to touch that grew along the tiny brook. These are the memories I want to relive with my grandchildren. Anger rears up in me as I make my way to the soggy ground, where the aconite grows. The hood-shaped flowers—pretty, purple things—that belie their true danger, reach my knees. With the protection of linden leaves between my palms and the plant, I tug one out of the soil. The root is starchy and dense, with many spindly tendrils. It will provide more than enough when the time comes to use it. As I near the stables, I put on a mask of unwavering certainty. I remind myself that I am the face of this war, and my people need to see it. Our enemies need to see it. Yet I had come to believe, and now know for certain, that my children’s and grandchildren’s freedom will cost me my life. It is not too high of a price to pay. Nyx (Mistress of the Night) by Angela Patera Watercolor, gel pens, sketchbook paper Inspiration: For the issue's theme, 'Myths and Legends', I wanted to paint a character from Greek mythology. I chose to paint Nyx, the goddess and personification of night. She is typically portrayed as either a winged goddess with a dark cloud halo or dressed in black surrounded by dark mist. by Erika PettersenUnder your finger, tiny leaves closetwo by two, collapsing into a skinny stem.“Vergonzosa,” the ranger tells us.A plant ashamed to be touched. I feel small again, like when we arrived, gazing up at two large sculptures: a man and a woman.“Los gentiles,” the ranger told us.Taller people who once roamed these mountains. You turn away from me,and I turn toward you,as we peer down and across a valley.“El braso del mar,” the ranger tells us.Where the ocean will swallow the earthand the world will end. You glance back at me, smirking,and I feel your smallness, too.You’re capable, but empty.I’m vulnerable, but full. Neither of us can imagine that we were once giants. by Lynne Marie Rosenberg Watercolor & ink Inspiration: A very recent addition to my vocabulary, amatonormativity, is a word coined by philosophy professor Elizabeth Brake describing, "the widespread assumption that everyone is better off in an exclusive, romantic, long-term coupled relationship, and that everyone is seeking such a relationship." Pervasive and insisted upon in our cultural storytelling (namely, the entertainment industry), those outside of the norm can feel alienated and ostracized. From where I grew, another followed by Carly Lewis I remember the fires. How they painted the sky like a bloodied sunrise in the east, swallowing the cold blue winter with withering heat. The acrid smoke drew me out of my home, tunneled deep in the earth through the door of a hollow tree. Had I not been awake, the fires would have trapped me and many. I crawled from the hollow with eyes still sore from weeping—I’d felt the coming of the flames for weeks. And still, no one was wise to believe me. It is easier to smell the coming smoke when my eyes can see so far; moments that haven’t happened yet, but will soon enough. They always do. My people put faith in the gods of known chance and entrust their souls to the hands of expected circumstance. It is not all bad, to live by the measured sway of the air, the timely turn of the season. But danger is the difference. The air is changing. The fire’s riders care not for custom. Hooves tramping verdant ground to ash, consuming, consuming. Not for need, but hunger. A flame’s gluttony is never satisfied and rarely stopped. They know of little else. Many will die today, I thought, keeping low to the ground so the smoke couldn’t blind me, and their ignorance will follow them. My gut churned at the thought, though I knew it was true. It didn’t make leaving any more bearable. Like something more beast than human, I crawled from tree to tree, scraping and knocking on the bark doors until those inside heard, pleading for them to come out and flee. Some answered and took their families far before the first wild flames reached their thresholds. Others refused and shoved me from their plots. “What will you have us fear, beguiled one?” they spat. In the back of my mind, I saw their beautiful oak doors turn to darkened soot. I wasted no time waiting for their change of mind. No need to linger for those who were already lost. I ran with the hoards I managed to save, fast as we could to beat the riders that pursued us. A pang ran through my chest. Though I knew we were right to run, I longed to turn and face the flames. Wild as they were, they hungered for the peace they could never have. I’d watched for months in my mind as the fire’s riders consumed lands beyond this one with hope in their empty eyes. After this one, they thought, we will slow, we will be satisfied. We will be freed. But peace never did come to them. It never would. We made it to the grasslands when the sun rose, cleaving the sky with unbearable light. The heat of it razed the back of my neck. I hurried the others on—“Keep going further and further now!”—when I heard her. Beyond the gnashing of flames, the rider’s gorge—the gentle coo of a child just waking up. I closed my eyes to look ahead and came up coughing. Even my mind grew dark with this smoke. The child called again. For a moment, some bitter part of me begrudged the fools I’d left behind. The ones who had taught me duty to the land and the people on it, though they cursed my gift of seeing. It wasn’t a choice to move without thought, and it never had been. With something like hate in my heart, I turned away from the masses. The blistering air sucked me back into the forest, dragging me with guiding hands to the fallen tree where an infant lay just out of reach of her mother’s arms. The woman lay motionless, crushed by a twisted branch. I took up the child and turned back in the direction of the grasslands. Just then, a large oak timbered and fell before me, walls of flame spreading and trapping. The roar of hooves was deafening. This I had not seen. I had not wanted to. Stepping in circles made no difference. Until I saw before me, mere paces from her poor mother, the child’s home rising tall and strong. The branches were just beginning to alight with feasting sparks. Resolve replaced hate and I fell to my knees, clawing at the tree’s bark with my free hand until some crumbled free. I stuffed it into my mouth, swallowed, and began to pray. To the gods of circumstance. To the forest and trees. To the unnamable eye that saw through me. To take myself and the child, to hold us safe. Alive. From my knees, roots sprung. They dug and gripped into the earth quicker than I could catch my breath. Upwards I unfolded. Along my arms I grew branches that wove taller until I could reach the flames above me. But, trying to grasp my hands and the bark of my face, they hissed away in steam. In the hollow knot where my womb once was, the baby slept, strangely calm amid the fires as if she did not hear their feasting at all. I remained until the riders moved on and every tree around me burnt away. Until the child I cradled grew big enough to crawl from the hollow and turn over the soot-stained soil with her own hands to plant things new. I remained when she left—to find her own and be her own—and when she returned. I remained until her own children grew and she waned, tired and wise. Until she came to me and took from my bark. I remained with her by my side, our leaves billowing, growing, dying. And I will always remain. This I have seen. by Smrutirekha Dalai Inspiration: Kali-Jayi is a newly married girl. Her husband's home was across the river and, after marriage, her father was to take her in his boat to the other side. Midway across, their boat collapsed and Kali-Jayi drowned while her father was saved. Since then, her ghost takes care of the boats that cross the river preventing them from drowning. Locals began to worship her. If you like the issue, you can donate to Wild Greens through our Ko-fi page! Aphrodite - Athena - Medusa by Robin Brownfield Inspiration: Greek Mythology has been an interest of mine since I was three-years old. Changing the Narrative by Lauren Kimball Read about the language of flowers that inspired this month's logo on Ko-Fi. The Quantum Lock That Binds Us by Sean LynchBlackbeard came right up to me while I was standing in lineoutside a concert on Spring Garden streetand said he walked all the waythere from an imaginary mountainin Voorhees, New Jersey, coincidentally the townwhere I was born and where I know there's only flatness and woods, said he needed money to buy a shovel,wanted to trade a bouquet of dead flowers for a few dollars with me, out of all the people in line to see the band, and, I stared straight ahead like he was a ghost, to be frisked for knives and listen to forget the pirate I abandoned, a man who looked like he fell off the Ben Franklin bridgeinto the dark Delaware water, fell and followedan invisible trail out of the river without any liquidon his skin, and I, a no one he chose for a reason,scoffed at him, had the audible nerve to forsakeadventure, to dismiss a living god standing before meso I could ignore my own search for what I've lost,when Blackbeard's treasure still remains hiddenunder earth along a landlocked state whereno one would think it would be, how cleverof him to bind his gold to a place and timeno one could conceive of, and how ignorantof me to assume that this mythical manwas merely a modern panhandler. by Lynne Marie Rosenberg Inspiration: A glimpse inside the fantasy story world in my brain, activated by occurrences as mundane as a dropped earring back into the black hole of underbed disappearance. Pain is unrealized wisdom, revolution is incessant by Galen Passen Wood panel, paint, collage materials Inspiration: This piece came out of my own grieving process and observing how through time, patience, and surrender, pain is transformed into understanding. This is a relatable experience to anyone who has felt heartbreak, disappointment, betrayal, an injury, or so on. Through the lens of myth, adversity can teach us fundamental lessons of the human experience; the interconnectedness of pain, growth, acceptance, and the meaningful mercy of being able to experience both pain and joy. by Megan Jauregui Eccles My son is more than wax wings. He is long eyelashes and mischievous smiles and curly, golden hair. He is untied sandals and scraped knees and impetuous eye rolls. He is loud whispers and made-up songs and boisterous laughter. And when he falls like a star from the sky to the sea, he ceases. But no one remembers him as anything more than a warning. No one knows the boy, just the myth. And here am I, a father, foolish to love such a flawed young man. Because that’s what he’ll always be—young. He’ll never know the touch of grey in his beard, or the taste of a sweet apple on a crisp, autumn morn, or the tide of love when a father holds his child for the first time. He is, he was, but he never will be. Love is a labyrinth meant to trap and trick you. Love is a monster made of flesh and bones and drowned son. Love is a curse for things you can’t hold forever. I see his face in the fractured reflection of the sun on the sea and try to remember him as that bright, endless boy instead of the look of rapturous pain and regret on his face in those final moments. We are not the sum of our imperfections. We are not one brash moment, a final mistake. We are all suns, bright and burning and falling and dying. We are universal, unicursal. We are everything. See behind the scenes of Wild Greens. Our Ko-fi page contains concept art for past issues. Artists and Contributors Melissa Lomax (she/her) is a freelance illustrator, art teacher, and cartoonist with 20 years of experience in the creative industry. Some of her clients include American Greetings, Sellers Publishing, Great Arrow Graphics, and Highlights for Children. Her comic 'Doodle Town' posts on GoComics.com, the largest catalog of syndicated cartoons and comics. When she is not in the art studio, she enjoys spending time in nature, drinking really good coffee, and 'everyday adventures' with her husband. Pop by her Instagram @melissalomaxart for weekly inspiration! Kristi Schirtzinger is an emerging author with an MFA in Creative Writing from Ashland University. She grew up in rural Ohio, where she and many family members still reside. Her work has been featured in The Black Fork Review, The International Feminism and Rhetoric Conference, and Drunk Monkeys. Her fascination with Celtic history has inspired folktale retellings, short stories, and a novel about the Boudiccan rebellion of 60 AD entitled Three Summer Moons. Angela Patera is a self-taught artist whose art has appeared in numerous publications, as well as on the cover of Selenite Press and Penumbra Online. Her art usually draws inspiration from the genres of horror and fantasy, but also from folklore and nature. You can find her on both Twitter and Instagram as @angela_art13 Erika Pettersen (she/her) has pursued multiple paths during her adult life: photography, curatorial work, arts administration, fundraising, and multidisciplinary research. Now, she’s finally reconnecting with her inner child by returning to creative writing, her first calling. Erika currently dabbles in poetry and is working—very slowly—on a novel. Her writing draws from personal experiences as a woman of mixed heritage from Queens, NY and related concepts of identity, belonging, and liminal space explored in the works of Latina feminist thinkers. It also brings her closer to the contours of the ineffable, along with meditating and dream interpretation. Lynne Marie Rosenberg Lynne Marie Rosenberg (she/her) is a performer turned advocate turned Emmy-nominated content maker turned visual artist. She is the host and creator of the interview show, "Famous Cast Words" on New York's PBS affiliate station, ALL ARTS, and the one-person-band behind the Etsy store, Hungry Bodhisattva. Lynne works predominantly in graphite and ink with additional forays into charcoal, watercolor, and stop-motion animation. Carly Lewis (she/her) is a written and visual storyteller residing in her hometown of Richmond, Virginia. A graduate of Hollins University's creative writing and film programs, she tries to find a meeting place in the middle of those two subjects, creating a tangible atmosphere that is whimsical or otherworldly in her pieces. She has a taste for artists who break the rules, and has written about them in Spindle Magazine, LARB's Publishing Workshop journal, PubLab, and as a contributor for Write or Die Magazine. Currently she works with Ayin Press as their Publicity and Production Manager. Connect with her on Instagram and Twitter at @carlyisclary. Smruti, the manifestation of memory (as is the meaning of name) is a human diary whose memory fades slower than the rest. She, hence, stays plagued by nostalgia that sometimes pulls her deeper into grief. On happy days however, she greets the sun with greater light. Robin Brownfield (she/her) is a former sociology professor in Collingswood, New Jersey who turned to mosaic art after becoming disabled. She was featured in a FOX-29 (Philadelphia) News report, because after sharing a series of award-winning “Black Lives Matter” mosaic portraits online, she was commissioned by Tamika Palmer to do a mosaic portrait of her daughter, Breonna Taylor, whose death, in part, launched a rebirth of the Black Lives Matter movement. That portrait can be seen in the documentary “Bree Way: Promise Witness Remembrance.” Her award-winning artwork has been in galleries in New Jersey, Pennsylvania, New York City, Las Vegas, Norfolk, Virginia, Texas, Illinois, and San Francisco. She recently finished supervising a community mosaic mural project entitled “Childhood Memories,” which she designed at Thomas Sharp Elementary School in Collingswood, NJ. Above the mural honoring her is a plaque making her one of those old dead people (in the future) who nobody ever heard of, but whose name is on a plaque. Visit her website, www.robinbrownfieldmosaics.com, to see more of her work. Artist and Writer Lauren Kimball (she/her) lives in Philadelphia. She teaches literature and composition at Rutgers University-New Brunswick. In her spare time, she plays with paint, digital pens, words, and home improvement tools. You can find her comics on Instagram @turtle_n_hare_comic. Sean Lynch is a writer and editor who lives in South Philly. His poems have been published most recently in Hoot Review, Mad Poets Society, and Apiary Magazine. He's been the editor of Whirlwind Magazine, Moonstone Press, Serotonin Poetry Journal, and the Nick Virgilio Writers House. Galen Passen (he/him) is a Brooklyn-based visual artist, multimedia artist, and professional musician. His work centers around the use of the audio-visual format in order to weave intimate narratives that help reconnect us with our inherent humanity, curiosity, and connection to community. His visual work is regularly commissioned for book covers, album covers, and personal collections. He received his Bachelor's degree from Goddard College, whose emphasis on social ethics and critical thinking helped him to integrate his diverse life experiences and creative outlets into a multidisciplinary, multicultural artistic methodology. He is also a performer within the realms of Hindustani classical music, experimental composition, contemporary dance, and movement theater. He has had the privilege of performing at such prestigious sites as the legendary folk venue Caffe Lena, The Center for Remembering and Sharing (CRS), Chhandayan Center for Indian Music, and Pioneer Works, amongst others. He has worked with author Jayita Sarkar, Brooklyn Raga Massive, The Pittsburgh Opera, The Silk Road Project’s GMW, and Korean Piri master, Gamin Kang. Megan Jauregui Eccles Megan Jauregui Eccles writes dark, speculative fiction for young adults, and is represented by Lauren Galit of LKG Agency. Her writing has appeared in Kelp Journal, Coachella Review, Ladies of the Fright, The Lineup, and Dwarf+Giant. She teaches creative writing at John Paul the Great Catholic University and holds an MFA in Creative Writing from the University of California Riverside—Palm Desert. Find her on instagram and tiktok. Jessica Doble (she/her) holds a PhD in English from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. She's published two critical works: “Hope in the Apocalypse: Narrative Perspective as Negotiation of Structural Crises in Salvage the Bones” in Xavier Review, and “Two-Sides of the Same Witchy Coin: Re-examining Belief in Witches through Jeannette Winterson’s The Daylight Gate” in All about Monsters. Her poetry has appeared in PubLab and Wild Greens magazine. Myra Chappius (she/her) is the author of six works of fiction and poetry. While her passion lies with shorter creations, it is her aspiration to complete a full-length novel and screenplay someday. She enjoys reading, music, travel, and learning. When not doing mom things, she is working full-time, seeing the latest movie, or waiting an acceptable length of time before returning to Universal Orlando to satiate her Harry Potter obsession. You can follow Myra on Instagram at @inwordform. Her work can be purchased on Amazon. Tim Brey (he/him) is a jazz pianist living in Philadelphia. He holds positions as Artist-in-Residence and Adjunct Faculty at Temple University and The University of the Arts, where he teaches jazz piano, music theory, and improvisation. Check out more of his music and his performance schedule at https://www.timbreymusic.com. Jacqueline (she/her) is a writer, editor, and copyeditor living in California. She earned her BA in English and creative writing at the University of California, Riverside. She was a 2021 publishing fellow with the Los Angeles Review of Books and an editor and co-editor for PubLab and Mosaic Art and Literary Journal. She serves as the fiction editor for Wild Greens magazine and a copyeditor for the Los Angeles Review of Books and The Arrow Journal. Maggie Topel (she/her) is an artist and writer living in Philadelphia. She designs our seasonal Wild Greens logo and social media avatar. Hayley (she/her) creates the cover image for each issue of Wild Greens magazine and serves as the Arts Editor. Hayley is a social justice seeker, world traveler, rock climber, dog snuggler, frisbee player, event planner, and storyteller. She loves to paint with watercolors, embroider, and write. She grew up reading sci-fi and fantasy, and to this day she still turns to those genres to help her make sense of the world. She calls Philadelphia home and wouldn't have it any other way. You can find Hayley on Instagram @hayley3390. Rebecca Lipperini (she/her) is a writer, teacher, and academic living in Philadelphia, and the founding editor of Wild Greens magazine (hi!). She holds a PhD in English from Rutgers University, where she taught all kinds of classes on literature and poetry and writing, and wrote all kinds of papers on the same. Her essay on the soothing aesthetics of the supermarket was recently published in PubLab. She teaches in the Critical Writing Program at the University of Pennsylvania. You can find Rebecca on Instagram @rebeccalipperini (personal) @wildgreensmag (you already know it).

Best New Horror Books in August 2022 These are the best new horror books coming out in August 2022. Horror crosses over with science fiction and fantasy in all kinds of ways, from speculative surveillance to monsters with a taste for human flesh. Here are our picks for the best new horror books to bet on in August 2022. The Wild Hunt by Emma Seckel Publisher: Tin House Books Release date: August 2 Den of Geek says: This dark historical fantasy draws on cryptid lore for the story of a town besieged by haunting bird spirits. It could be perfect for a hint of Halloween in the summertime. Publisher’s summary: The islanders have only three rules: don’t stick your nose where it’s not wanted, don’t mention the war, and never let your guard down during October. Leigh Welles has not set foot on the island in years, but when she finds herself called home from life on the Scottish mainland by her father’s unexpected death, she is determined to forget the sorrows of the past―her mother’s abandonment, her brother’s icy distance, the unspeakable tragedy of World War II―and start fresh. Fellow islander Iain MacTavish, an RAF veteran with his eyes on the sky and his head in the past, is also in desperate need of a new beginning. A young widower, Iain struggles to return to the normal life he knew before the war. But this October is anything but normal. This October, the sluagh are restless. The ominous, birdlike creatures of Celtic legend―whispered to carry the souls of the dead―have haunted the islanders for decades, but in the war’s wake, there are more wandering souls and more sluagh. When a young man disappears, Leigh and Iain are thrown together to investigate the truth at the island’s dark heart and reveal hidden secrets of their own. Rich with historical detail, a skillful speculative edge, and a deep imagination, Emma Seckel’s propulsive and transporting debut The Wild Hunt unwinds long-held tales of love, loss, and redemption. Run Time by Catherine Ryan Howard Publisher: Blackstone Publishing Release date: August 16 Den of Geek says: Film buffs and horror fans alike may find something to enjoy in this horror/thriller about a horror movie shoot gone wrong. Publisher’s summary: Feeling her stardom fading, struggling soap-actress Adele Rafferty is ready to give up on her dreams when she gets a last-minute offer to play the lead in upcoming horror film Final Draft. Could this be her big break? Will she have redemption for what happened the last time she was on a film set? Adele doesn’t think twice before signing the dotted line. Adele quickly makes her way to set, deep into the isolated and wintry woods of West Cork, Ireland, miles away from civilization and cell service. When real life on set starts to somehow mirror the sinister events portrayed in the script, Adele fears the real horror lies off the page. Isolated and unsure who in the crew she can trust, is there anywhere or any time left to run? Buy Run Time by Catherine Ryan Howard. Haunted Tales edited by Lisa Morton and Leslie S. Klinger Publisher: Pegasus Books Release date: August 2 Den of Geek says: A good conversation about books tends to be one that draws on context, going beyond the most well-known representatives of the genre but including works from a wide span of places and times. This collection might be a good primer for the ways authors like Oscar Wilde, H. G. Wells and E. F. Benson influenced the genre. Publisher’s summary: In Haunted Tales, the reader will enjoy discovering masterpieces like Algernon Blackwood’s terrifying “The Kit-Bag,” Oscar Wilde’s delightful “The Canterville Ghost,” and F. Marion Crawford’s horrific “The Screaming Skull,” as well as lesser-known gems by some of literature’s greatest voices, including Virginia Woolf’s “A Haunted House,” H. G. Wells’s “The Story of the Inexperienced Ghost,” and Rudyard Kipling’s “They.” Haunted Tales also resurrects some wonders that have been woefully neglected, including Dinah Mulock’s “M. Anastasius” (which Charles Dickens called “the best ghost story ever written”); E. F. Benson’s “The Bus-Conductor” (the source of one of the most iconic lines in horror); and E. and H. Heron’s “The Story of the Spaniards, Hammersmith” (the debut adventure of Flaxman Lowe, fiction’s first psychic detective). Whether the stories are familiar or overlooked, all are sure to surprise and astonish the reader long past the closing of this book’s cover.

By Michelle Garza and Melissa Lason “There is different kinds, you know that…don’t you?” his breath was sour in her face and she nodded. He smiled down at her, his haggard grin was one of approval. “Let me get us a drink, you may be here a while.” He shuffled off through the doorway and the commotion he made in the kitchen earned her a moment to glance over at her companions. Chrystal sat clutching the turquoise sequined bag in her lap, she looked down and cursed the clam shells affixed over her breasts. She tugged at the tiny metallic shrug sweater that hardly covered her yet was her only concealment from the old drunkard’s roving gaze. “What the hell made you ask him that?” Angela whispered. She was dressed as a German barmaid which would have delighted the entire fraternity but now being stuck with old what’s his name, it seemed far too revealing for her own comfort. “It seemed fitting, it is Halloween after all.” Tori responded in her usual manner which infuriated her sorority sisters. “What about your stories in the car?” “Those were ghost stories for little kids, not crazy cryptid sightings! I don’t want to hear any more of that crap, it’s just gettin’ him thinkin’ we want to sit around and talk.” Angela said. Tori was all book smarts, overly polite and seemed to have never learned stranger danger. She also had the luxury of being dressed as a librarian, a costume which left everything to the imagination and she didn’t have to suffer the nauseating feeling of being mentally undressed by an old man that looked like Herman Munster and smelled like a well-worn track shoe filled with cheap vodka. “We don’t want to hear any creepy shit, ok. Not right now.” Chrystal complained. The storm outside steadily battered the dirty windowpane and Angela grew impatient. “I can’t leave my dad’s car out there. We have to get out of here.” She slid forward in her seat and was about to stand when he came back into the sitting room, a tray in his shaking. The glasses rattled together as he bent to serve each of his guests. “A little something to chase the chill away.” He added and took his seat. “This old place ain’t insulated like newer homes.” Chrystal shivered and brought her drink close to her lips. It smelled like rubbing alcohol and the glass wasn’t exactly clean. She pretended to sip from it but kept her lips together allowing not a drop of it in her mouth. “Thank you, Charles, but we really must be going soon.” She said. “Oh, yes. Your party.” He said. “I know our friends should be looking for us soon and it sounds like the storm is over.” Angela said. “They will help with my dad’s car.” “If you’re sure about it then I guess I can’t hold you hostage.” He laughed. They giggled politely yet every one of them cringed inside and hoped it was truly a joke. “Don’t you want to hear about what I saw out there, Tori?” he asked. “Don’t you want to know about the mounds?” The storm had in fact died suddenly and the absence of its racket left the sitting room very quiet so her response sounded edgy. “No! Thank you.” His smile faded and she knew that unintentionally she had offended him. “Have it your way, then.” He said and went to the closet to get his coat. The ride back to the highway in his truck was uncomfortable. He sat rubbing his chin and sucking his yellow teeth. The car was in sight when he turned to them. “I really don’t want to let you girls go. You’re not from around here, don’t know your way.” “We’re fine.” Angela said. “It can be dangerous out in the dark.” He said. “We are adults, we will be just fine.” She snapped. “You could stay back at my house. I have a spare bedroom.” He offered. “We’ll be fine.” Tori answered. “Thank you.” She added to ease the tension that radiated from the old man. “Suit yourselves.” He answered as he pulled up alongside the broken down Honda. The girls exited the tight confines of the truck before walking through the mud at the roadside to reach their only means of transportation. Angela watched as Charles drove away. “What a complete creep!” she said. “Level one-hundred freak!” Chrystal giggled. “He’s just a lonely old man.” Tori said. “Give him a break.” She watched the tail lights of his truck glowing red in the falling light of evening. A loud honking made her jump, then laugh as she realized that their knights in shining jeep had just arrived. “We worried you ditched us!” Devin yelled. “NEVER!” Angela laughed. “Help me jump start this piece of crap and we’ll head out.” she said as they stopped alongside the young women. Tori pulled her sweater together with one hand while she sipped a beer with the other. Her friends had already partied once before with the trio of guys from the little college town so they staked their claims on the two most attractive, leaving Tori to entertain a guy named Jerry. He wasn’t ugly yet he wasn’t what she considered handsome either. He had spent much of the time talking about himself, his interests and dislikes, gabbing on and on without giving her a chance to speak. She receded into her own mind as her friends danced to music with their more appealing dates, thinking about the odd burial mounds she had seen from the car window, regretting not listening to Charles’ account of what he witnessed there. “I’m sorry. Am I boring you?” Jerry asked. “No. I was just thinking about something I saw when we were driving here.” “The mounds?” He asked with a smile. “How’d you know?” She asked. “Everyone wants to know about’em.” He answered. “What are they?” Lori asked. “Indian burial mounds.” Devin answered as he and Angela took a seat beside of Tori. “Shut up!” Angela said. “It’s true. They are very spiritual places.” Devin said. “Like doorways to other worlds.” “Don’t try to freak us city girls out!” Angela accused and slapped his arm playfully. “It’s Halloween. That’s what this night is for.” He laughed. “I want to hear it.” Tori said. “I got a better idea.” Cory spoke up as Chrystal grew quiet, turning the radio off. “Let’s go see’em.” “NO WAY!” Chrystal said. “Come on. It’s a rite of passage for everyone around here.” “I want to see them.” Tori said. “Speak for yourself!” Angela said. “Don’t be a chicken!” Devin teased and started squawking. She giggled as he took her hand. “It’s not far away. We will keep you safe and warm.” He said to all three young women. “It’s not even dark, the full moon is as bright as the sun.” Jerry added. “A full moon on Halloween, that only happens every twenty years or so, let’s make the most of it!” The beams of their flashlights were hardly necessary under the light of the full moon yet their illumination was comforting to Angela and Chrystal who clung to their dates as they tread through the trees towards the mounds. “It’s basically raised earth in the shape of an animal.” Jerry whispered to Tori. He walked uncomfortably close and she waited for the awkward moment when he would try to slide his arm over her shoulder. “Are there dead bodies buried here?” Angela asked as they approached what looked like a long, low hill winding through a break in the woods. “Yup.” Devin answered. “People say when the moon is nice and bright sometimes you can see the spirits rising from them.” Cory said. “I’m done!” Chrystal whined. “I wanna go back to the campfire.” “Don’t be scared.” Jerry said softly as he inevitably made his move. Tori stepped forward in an attempt to shake free of his grasp without it being obvious. “It’s ok, Chrys. He’s just tryin’ to spook us.” “Actually he’s not.” Jerry said, gripping her shoulder as she tried to break free. “I’ve seen them with my own eyes.” Tori could feel her cheeks burning in the dark, he was overstepping her boundaries and if he tried to get any closer she would let him have a piece of her mind. “Bull!” Angela said. “It’s the truth!” He answered, finally releasing Tori so that he could walk to the top of the tail end of the mound to tell his story. “This is all completely true.” He began. “It was Halloween, like so many teenagers before me, I was dared to go out and stand on the mounds.” He started to walk the length of the snaking rise, the moon shown like a spotlight down on him, stretching his shadow out long beside him. “There are tales of wolfmen that dig in these mounds, slashing the earth with gigantic claws, stinking of decaying flesh…” “My friends laughed at me when I became frightened by the feeling of hands at my ankles.” He said as he stopped dramatically at the far end of the hillock, not saying another word. Tori looked to the others, Angela and Chrystal were cowering in the arms of Devin and Cory. “You’re such a faker, Jerry!” He yelled in a mocking voice. “There’s no such thing as ghosts!” He continued. His back was to those listening. “Chicken!” Jerry teased yet his voice had grown gravelly. “Chicken!” Devin called out harshly. “CHICKEN!” Cory chimed in but there was no humor in his voice. Jerry put his hands over his ears and cried. “It’s got me! HELP!” his voice mimicked that of a young boy. He turned back to the frightened girls as he began to…change. His ears jutted out on the sides of his head and hair sprouted from the pores of his face as his face started pulling outward into a muzzle. His skin shimmered and his mouth twisted into a toothy grin. Chrystal screamed as Cory grabbed her around the waist and started hauling her over to the mound. Angela swung her fist, it connected with the side of Devin’s head as it began to shift, he gnashed his teeth and caught her by the wrist, sinking his teeth into her skin. She screamed as he tore a strip of her flesh free from her bone, blood sprayed into the cold autumn air. Tori ran into the dark forest, crashing through the bushes in terror. The cries of her friends sent waves of desperation rippling through her. They were agonizing and cut short in a brutal instant, something inside of her told her Angela and Chrystal were dead. She screamed into the endless forest when snarling filled the brush behind her. She pushed herself forward without caring that her legs were being cut open on sharp branches. Tori’s skirt got tangled in a strong undergrowth and it dragged her to the ground. She yanked and tugged yet couldn’t free herself as a shadow sailed over the brush she was caught in. It landed on her, knocking the air from her lungs, halting her cries for help. Claws raked down her back, slicing through her clothing, leaving searing lines of pain. She felt her blood rise quickly from the wounds to run down her sides. “Not bored anymore, huh?” A guttural voice asked. Jerry rolled her over so that she could see his monstrous face. He grinned at her silent dread, she began to shake and tears streamed down her face. “Come back to the party.” Jerry tore her skirt free and threw her over his hunched shoulder. He tossed Tori down onto the mound beside of Cory who had his hands full of gore. Chrystal and Angela were indistinguishable piles of organs and flesh spread out over the top of the mound. Jerry sank his teeth into the soft meat of her arm as she brought it up to cover her throat as he attacked. She cried out as he pulled a bloody mouthful away. He gulped it down ravenously. Tori’s arm shook violently, dripping blood into her face as he fed. She couldn’t hear her own screaming over the sounds of the other creatures beside of them rending the meat from her best friend’s skeletons, snapping their bones in their canine maws as easy as brittle tinder. All that she could see, smell or taste was blood. Tori feared the end because she knew the torture she would have to endure before death would claim her. She felt herself weakening as Jerry lunged for her face once more, she pushed his snapping teeth away with her good arm as she felt her consciousness slipping away. He leaned over her, a beastly grin on his hideous face, she knew he was toying with her. “Havin’ fun yet?” He growled. A howl cut through the awful sounds of gorging. The three monsters halted in their bloody revelry. They sniffed the air and growl, their dark fur stood out on end in agitation. Jerry left Tori bleeding out on the mound to follow his companions as they paced the perimeter of the mound. A blur of shimmering white, like full moon light, hit Jerry and they tumbled. The other two joined the fight. Tori rolled her head to the side to see a wolf-like creature covered in ivory colored hair attacking the three gluttonous beasts responsible for killing Angela and Chrystal. Tori’s heart thundered in her chest as the beast decapitated one of them with a single swipe of its massive paw. It rolled as another one leapt onto its back, freeing itself before recoiling and catching its attacker within its jaws by the throat then ripping it from its body. The third turned and fled yet the white beast jumped onto its back as it retreated then gripped the beasts head in its powerful grip, with a howl it tore its foe’s head off. It quickly buried the carnivorous creatures in the side of the mound before turning to Tori who trembled with exsanguination. “I warned you that there was different kinds.” It spoke in a gravely tone. Tori realized then who the white beast had to be. “I tried to get you to stay, but your friends wouldn’t listen. I should’ve stopped you.” He scooped her up in his furry arms and carried her through the forest. “They only come every twenty years or so, been fightin’ them a long time but they always come back…” “Will I die?” Tori asked faintly. “You’ll feel like you are but no. There’s next to nothin’ that can kill you now.” She wept as he made his way across an open field. “The moon will control you now.” Charles said. “I don’t want to be change you.” She admitted, her voice trembling. He laid her softly on the grass as he shifted back into an old man. “You don’t have a choice in that matter but what you do get to decide is whether you will behave like them,” he nodded his head back towards the gory mound, “or if you will behave like me.” He smiled, knowing which she would choose. Comments are closed. About the Author: S. K. Gregory is an author, editor and blogger. She currently resides in Northern Ireland. “Description begins in the writer’s imagination, but should finish in the reader’s.”

Once upon a time, two trippers got into a car to look into the ghostly legend of a man who screams at night, a little girl who comforts the living visiting the dead, and a wall where a witch traps children before stealing their souls. They ended up searching for the grave of a teen and rescuing a soul from a wall of coral…at least if you believe the stories. Join Christopher Balzano and Deanna Mulhearn as they hit the road on a somewhat spontaneous journey to the Boca Raton cemetery. It’s an “on the road” episode filled with background noise, arguments on how the dead can come back and how far they can travel, and the perfect side quest which leads to one of those profound Tripping on Legends moments. Listen to the original show we did exploring the legend of the screaming man and the history of the cemetery. Or watch the video… Get your tickets to hear us and some of the best in the cryptid business now for the SWFL Skunk Ape Conference coming June 4th. Feel free to call our new phone number during our live shows to get involved, share a legend you’ve heard, or to just ask a question at (813) 418-6822. Haunted Florida Love Stories is finally available You can contact us with questions, comments, and your favorite legend or tidbit of folklore at [email protected].

Sydenham and Duxton, London Saturday December 16th, 2017 Our heroes bluff their way into a taxi, claiming the three are drunken friends, rather than two demon-possessed and one-cultist who have been beaten into submission, and they ride back to the bus. They conduct exorcisms on the two possessed before Sarah Thacker comes to. One (William Burnes) is a middle aged street dweller relieved to be able to think clearly; the other (Tyrone Bennett) is a young man who is relieved to be free to go – and is in trouble for violent acts he does not remember. But when they try to exorcise Sarah Thacker, she laughs at them. Despite her occasionally tentacled left hand, it has no effect on her – as if she’s not a demon. She accuses them of having a grudge against minority religions, and when asked why they were summoning a demon, she just says “it’s quicker than a train”. Realising they’re not going to keep her imprisoned indefinitely, our heroes let her go. They discuss their priorities – whether damaging the MRI machine, or trying to understand what’s causing the Pythagoreans’ their headaches. After going through the lists of events from Fergus’ email, Ellie realises there’s a strong correlation with the surges in cryptocurrency mining, and they need to talk to the Mathematikoi. Letty Green, Buckinghamshire Sunday December 17th, 2017 The Mathematikoi divines terrible magics forming discord in the music of the spheres. Looking at the surges in cryptocurrency mining that Fergus has passed on, he surmises someone is using arcane magic to bypass the mathematical puzzles that limit the supply of cryptocurrencies. And he again points towards Lunex Telecommunications, in London’s Docklands, as the site of the disturbance. Elli went there before (see Demon-Haunted World), but ran away at the sight of a possible Tsoudain’a. But this time they’re heading there in force. Patty and Katrina appeal for more help, and though the Pythagoreans refuse to send backup, they do promise to keep at the research and supplying them with spells (and an offer of a lift from “Tim”, which our heroes refuse). Patty researches the Lunex employees till she finds someone to imitate – and so Elli walks in magically disguised as “Beatrice Avery”, a tech consultant, leading her friends in to solve a problem on guest passes. In one of the data centres, amongst the rows of cabinets of racks of horizontal machines, they find the machine that the cryptocurrency activity was tracked to. Below there are some spell components – an ancient small harp, a complex mechanical slide rule, some crystals, and some scraps of paper with equations on one side – equations that make Elli shudder and retch – and some alphanumerics on the other (“SKVN SDYR XVSN SV3N”). When Patty (?) hits one of the few buttons on the machine, something robotic with too many legs drops down at Katrina. Something with raw joints protected by brightly coloured metal parts that takes her back to … Shores of the Great Lake, Jämtland, Sweden Jul 6, 2003 (47 days after the slayer activation spell) It’s the Syd Jämtland Robotik open day, Petrus Holz is showing off some of their new creations, and his wife Katrina is their with there toddler daughter Freya. Freya having to be physically restrained from one of the industrial robot arms demonstrations. Syd Jämtland Robotik (pronounced: Sudd Yemtland) are everyday industrial and municipal applications of robotics – dark industrial parts partially protected by colourful metal or fibreglass plating. Its walking bus, a local bus chassis on legs, is carrying people around the demonstration grounds, an open space near the lakeside. The bus route is marked by an industrial symbol on posts (four broken triangles pointed towards the track in front of a circle, in red on violet). Unfortunately, the symbol is also being given out as stickers, and there’s a children’s play/demonstration area with an animated version of the local lake cryptid and plenty of children wearing the stickers nearby. And the walking bus is lunging towards it. Katrina hands Freya to a family friend – who just happens to be a world-weary detective in a baggy jumper. And tries to jump in the way of the walking bus, holding it back, and looking for a way to stop it. With instincts she didn’t know she had, she somersaults, grabs a leg, and cuts the hydraulics as it steps into the play area. In the distance she sees her husband Petrus jabbing at a big red stop button on a big handheld controller, and not looking happy about how dangerous his creation now seems. (Yes, I want you to think of Simon Stålenhag art for the industrial robots, and Sarah Lund for the detective – because full Nordic cliche. The great lake really does have a Nessie-type cryptid story). Flash forward to… Sunday December 17th, 2017 … Katrina, who knows how to stop this type of robot, holding the smoking remains of the six-legged eight-eyed robot in her hands, as the needles on the ends of its legs reflexively push out. The style is familiar, and Elli manages to take it apart to confirm from the names on the chips that it was, indeed, made by Syd Jämtland Robotik. Katrina keeps the poison-needle-tipped legs as potential weapons. They research more about the company, and discovers they were bought out by Terralith Eco in 2016. Elli realises that the codes are stock tickers, with SYDR standing for Syd Jämtland Robotik – the others being Smith-Kierran Vector Networks (SKVN), Venture Sun (XVSN), and Kazen Commmunication (SV3N), all taken over by Terralith Eco starting with SKVN in 1993. Owners and employees got golden shares with an increased influence at AGMs, and they discover that Katrina’s now ex-husband Petrus Holz sold his own small share in early December. The security guards come in looking for intruders – they’ve received notification of an intruder. Patty bluffs them whilst Katrina & Elli hide in the ceiling tiles. When Fergus finally pull himself out of his cannabis-fuelled reverie to answer the ‘phone, he tries to help Elli hack into the system. But his attempts are blocked, and mocking messages are sent to his console sessions. Fergus suspects that yet again he’s in a hacking battle against the demon T’soudina. Confident they’ve discovered all they can, our heroes head out to dockside to catch the DLR home: but three large (two-metre) humanoid robots clamber out of the water, with industrial drills on one hand and various grabbling bits on the other. Katrina tries to grab one by the arm, but is grabbed by its claw-like arm, and Elli tries to hold off the other two with a spell… (This is a write-up of several online sessions)

I often have my most profound thoughts and reflections at the oddest of times. There’s the cliched ‘eureka’ moment in the bath of shower of course, but for me, nothing beats the good old commute. Whether on a train, in a car, or on the bus, you can be surrounded by other people yet lost in thought. And as this year trundles to its final stop, it seems a perfect opportunity to reflect on the journey I’ve taken as a writer this year. My second novel, The Daughters of the Darkness, came out in June. It continues the adventures of Thomas Walker, the wildlife biologist turned monster hunter, whom we met in Shadow Beast. The book is getting some lovely reviews from readers, and is slowly making itself known among the Amazon charts. A few readers were surprised to find Thomas facing his past rather than picking up exactly where the first story ended. However, there is method in my madness. Firstly, given that Thomas is a hunter of man-eaters, I couldn’t resist pitting him against what are arguably the most famous duo to have ever developed a palette for people: the Tsavo lions. The legend and historic record of the man-eaters features strongly in the narrative, and as we learn in the first book, Thomas has unfinished business with a pride possibly made up of their descendants. There is of course something a little more cryptic (or perhaps cryptid), to their nature too. But, secondly, I also needed some time for things to…shall we say grow? Without giving any spoilers away, Phantom Beast, the third instalment, will see a return to the animals we met in Shadow Beast, and things have certainly…developed! So, obviously Phantom Beast will be a major project for 2018, but getting stuck into my third novel was also a major part of this year. But, there are a few other things on the go too. I’ve made progress with a science fiction story, and some headway with a rampaging bigfoot as well. And a recent achievement to my 2017 was mapping out what I see as my “novel universe”. Connecting characters, books, and storylines proved a really interesting exercise and gave me considerable clarity on where to take the stories. It also gave me a considerable to-do-list, so 2018 will be a busy year! Like many writers, I collect notebooks and journals, jotting down everything from vague thoughts to one-liners I’m yet to fit to a character, plot, or storyline! One of the funnest experiences in 2017 was joining Shannon Legro of Into the Fray Radio for an episode of her excellent podcast. If you’re interested in the paranormal, strange goings-on, cryptids, serial killers, UFOs, and other worldly things, you should definitely check it out. You can find my episode here, and you can find Into the Fray on all good pod catchers. Another lovely aspect of 2017 was receiving reader mail from all over the world. From a gentleman in Florida, to a horror fan in Germany, I have been amazed and touched to find my books have spread so far, and pleased so many. If you’d like to get in touch, you can drop me a line via [email protected]. So, 2018 beckons, and of course, there’s plenty of things I didn’t get round to doing. I still haven’t set up a website, or started a mailing list. I don’t promote my books enough. Writing and a full-time job do take their toll, but I’m going into the next twelve months a little more prepared and determined. Christmas has seen aids, such as a social media planner from the brilliant Lucy Hall added to my resources, so I’ll hopefully be a little more proactive and less reactionary on my channels. And along with everything else, I’ll keep writing too. Here’s to 2018!

I wanted to get this one up by Christmas, but alas, the holiday season side swept me right into the Christmas guard rail. Too much rich food and too much booze had my stomach screaming in agony, sluggish and carb sick I didn’t really want to do anything, much less write a blog post but I really wanted to introduce “Fantastic Games” to people who were not in the know, so I bucked up and gonna dive right into this thing. So “Fantastic Games” was a movie I found on a external hard drive my buddy gave me. I actually watched this three months ago and to my surprise I found out this was a kid’s Christmas film, but not like any I’d ever seen. Watching the credits and doing research I found out this was an Italian made movie directed by Al Passeri who also directed the equally bat shit insane “Creatures from the Abyss” (1994). The whole Christmas motif is pretty much a wreath around the main body of the story which is some weird Never Ending Story/Power Rangers hybrid. So during Christmas Eve, a family is stranded in a cabin while a snow storm rages outside, Mary the daughter is deathly ill covered in cloths, there is mom, grandpa and her brother Kevin, their awaiting the return of the father who is a doctor but he is stranded in the snow, their dog is also missing. Then there is the family “friend” who looks like a villain from Central Casting circa 1910, he wears a long black trench coat, derby hat and big black mustache. He goes to see if he can find the father out in the snow, but he has ulterior motives. Since its Christmas Eve the family gets to open presents, Kevin opens one for Mary that contains what looks like a cave girl on a surf board and a book. Kevin starts reading from the book and we are off to a rip roarin’ start. In “Fantastic Games”, a gnome castle floating in space is threatened by a third rate Darth Vader type with a mask made of various mirrors who controls another floating castle called the Planet of the Black Fortress, the Lord of the Black Fortress, Makeb, wants all the wealth in the gnome castle, so the gnomes call on Jade, Queen of Hope who wants to be paid with a grain of golden wheat, they agree and Jade, along with her surf board and midget dog go to take on the Black Fortress full of weird technology that the gnomes seem not to have. She enters a weird contest that mimics a video game to defeat Makeb and save the gnomes from destruction, and as all this is happening, Mary is ever closer to death and the blizzard outside gets worse and worse. Black hat “friend” keeps showing up saying he is trying to find the father but twitches his evil mustache. Some of the actions in the story correspond with what happens in real life. On the other hand Makeb keeps zapping his assistants from a stone dragon above his bone laden throne when they screw up, one in his death throes puts bugs in the system making Makeb’s job harder. In the game Jade/Mary battles evil eye balls, jazz playing skeletons, giant stop motion sand worms, fire demons and other things to get a higher score then Makeb who will get destroyed if Jade wins. “Fantastic Games” is a strange movie in the best way, made in 1998 it looks like it could’ve been made in 1988 instead, in fact I wondered if this was made earlier but released later. As in any Italian production the acting is bad, the dubbed voices atrocious and a plot a mix of 1980 Flash Gordon and the Never Ending Story. For a holiday kid’s film this is just nutso all over the place and that is a good thing. The Italians don’t mess around when they make genre films, its everything out the window, including the kitchen sink. Which was my response when I first watched this movie, in fact, when I first got this movie from “Vinegar Syndrome” and watched it, it kind of pissed me off, it was everything I hated in a movie, pretentious, trying to be weird, trying to be different, trying to be funny etc. Then after it ended at an hour and three minutes, my mind started to meditate on what I watched, the movie wasn’t long, to make the “Short (S)hit” list it has to be under a hour ten minutes, to me that is a short film, after the hour ten minute mark its a feature. Then an hour later I was still thinking about the movie, Cornshukker’s nasally refrain “I know” to any person who visited his sparse and rustic abode started to make me chuckle, then I meditated on the Cornshukker, a ghostly figure from folklore made up by the director/writer Brando Snider off of a painting he made, the Cornshukker is supposed to be a cryptid/nature spirit who lives on corn whose natural habitat is being in infringed upon by civilization. The Cornshukker’s skin is pale, he has no hair, black lipstick and eyeliner and wears a ill fitting suit with a wide tie, in other words he is a mopey 90’s goth kid. He mainly communicates through telepathy and when he does this his head stretches and morphs via cheap 1990’s in camera digital effects, crawdads invade his property and make loud noises in his head so he smashes them bloodily in the carpet, and various visitors like a girl scout cookie seller, prancing flute player, traveling dead heads, a make up saleswoman, a crazy pastor, a drunk pizza delivery guy from “Smegma Pizza”, a Mexican Senorita, a bigoted person in a creepy old man mask etc. come to Cornshukker’s shack and almost all of them with weird lines they read stilted. If you got this far reading this your probably muttering or yelling in a anger “WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK”. That was my initial reaction but I watched it again, the Cornshukker is a movie that is dream like, the weird visitors the Cornshukker seem to me to be from some other dimension, I mean this was filmed in the Mid West so that would probably explain a lot of this vibe. The soundtrack is a whole other thing, the music is mainly ghostly lo fi country, something that one would hear on some radio signal from the ghost world, the segments and the “logic” in this short film drift on seas of the abstract. When (SPOILER AHEAD) Cornshukker kills the bigoted old man, a young guy in a weird old man mask, with a shovel, Jesus Penis’ “I Left My Body” industrial track drifts in, now this track sounded familiar to me, I had to search my memory banks, some burned out from all the substances I’d done in the past and some overloaded with underground pop culture effluvia, in the credits under the “soundtrack heading” the name “Bureaucracy of Hope” and a address to the record company popped up then I remembered the shitty, shot on video movie that tried to rip off “Necromantic”, the movie “Ghorewhore” and its industrial soundtrack which was the whole compilation album “The Bureaucracy of Hope” the title “Elephants Force-Fed on Stale Chalk” (which I will post on my bitchute channel and do a review of sometime), on that album is Jesus Penis’ ghostly “I Left My Body”, it gives the murder scene a nightmare quality. A hour and three minutes for a movie like this is perfect if the “Cornshukker” had lasted longer I would’ve literally “shukked” this film onto amazon or ebay. It has drawn comparisons to “Eraserhead” but “Eraserhead” it is not, both are black and white but that is where the similarities end, “Eraserhead” builds tension, a nightmare atmosphere of barely comprehended fear, you can feel “Eraserhead” vibrating in your bones, “Cornshukker” doesn’t mess with any of that, it bashes you over the head with its weirdness, some people will retaliate in anger and some will go down unconscious and happy, at first I was the former but now I am the latter. “Cornshukker” took some time getting used to, if you aren’t patient you will not like this film. “Cornshukker” was made on a six thousand dollar budget, Brando Snider, the director decided to make this movie after he watched Robert Rodriguez’s “El Mariachi”, a precursor to his later bigger budgeted movie, “Desperado”. When Brando found out that Rob made his movie for as little as seven thousand dollars, he knew he could make a movie on his own. He said two thousand dollars went to the director of photography, Jim Tipperman, one thousand dollars went for film, and one thousand dollars to process it, he had no money at the end of it. He had to take out a loan through the Greenfield Banking Company, the loan officer who gave him his loan, Judy Gable, was in the movie she is one of the people in the (SPOILED MEAT AHEAD) torch and pitchfork ending. The mob with the pitchforks and torches at the end were people they asked in the local Fortville pub to play the crowd, so twenty to thirty drunk people showed up with pitchforks and torches. The police were actually called because they thought the film crew was a satanic cult, Brando’s mom and grandma tried talking to the police but were told to shut the fuck up at shotgun point, when Brando showed them he had permits to film they dropped the guns and said into the radio “Film Crew” and left like nothing happened. For the character of “Cornshukker” Brando almost got a professional actor to play the character and he found the perfect guy, tall, lanky and skinny, the only problem was the actor had long hair and the “Cornshukker” has a completely shaved head, and the actor wouldn’t shave his head, so Brando hired his brother Jason who shaved his head and in my opinion, is the “Cornshukker” nobody else could’ve played him, most of the cast of “Cornshukker” is family and friends. The only two professional actors in the movie was David Briggs who played the Reverend Lewd and Jack Rooney who played the ranger/cop. The acting of the non actors in this reminded me a lot of “Gummo”, Harmony Korine, the director of “Gummo” used some actors in his movie but shot actual people in their surroundings, this is called “Cinema Verite”, an almost documentary style of capturing moments on film. When Brando was filming out in public with the Cornshukker people would drive by and yell “Powder!” Which was a lamestream movie that came out back around when he shot his movie and it pissed him off because he thought his character was nothing like “Powder”. He did post production in a place that let him pay off the post production cost by shrink wrapping tapes which took six months, they allowed him two hours to edit his movie, an older guy, David Lister, helped him edit the movie, he said Lister was an ex hippie who loved “Cornshukker”. After the film was finished VHS copies were made and distributed they sent a copy to Sundance Film Festival but were turned down, they sold the VHS at twenty bucks a tape through various channels and for the longest time this movie was hard to find until its Blu Ray release. Along with Vinegar Syndrome this was put out in partnership with VHShitfest, a company that specializes in releasing little seen movies. Been awhile since I did one of these, hell, been awhile since I have posted, been busy and lazy, since I can’t make a basket of mackerels with this web site I have to do actual work to keep myself alive and after that work is done I don’t want to do anything but veg out and let my brain soak in the book I am reading, the movie/TV show I am watching or the music I am listening to. I really have to force myself to work on my blog, that being said I constantly go to this site, “366 Weird Movies”. This site has introduced me to so many cool movies, TV show and other media I otherwise wouldn’t have heard about. They have different features like “Saturday Shorts” where a weird short of yesteryear or current day is featured every Saturday, “Apocrypha Candidates” different reviewers try to decide if a certain weird movie should join the list, “Weird Watch Party” where you can join other fans of strange cinema on streaming platforms to group watch a weird movie, “Weird Horizon for the Week” where they list theaters and festivals showing odd movies and DVD and/or Blu Ray releases of strange films for the week, “Whats in the Pipeline” where they discuss movies and TV shows in production or that are coming out in the near future, “Capsules” where movies and TV shows of the past that are bizarre are reviewed, and interviews with film makers. I could read “366 Weird Movies” all day long, but there is a draw back, sometimes “366 Weird Movies” has the “stench of hipster” all over it, some of the pieces are way up their own ass and they make me roll my eyes. The drawback to some of these sites is it seems that the people who run them and write for them think their better than everybody else with their unpopular and fringe tastes and sometimes politics gets injected into the pieces were politics doesn’t even apply which is one of my biggest pet peeves. Look, nobody gives a shit about what you think, talk politics if it has do with the plot or message of the piece of media you are reviewing. This even pisses me off when the person agrees with me, but overall these are minor drawbacks and their rare, though the hipster thing is a light coat over the whole web site. That being said this site is one of the few that searches out movies and TV shows no one else does and as a result I have found a lot of good stuff both old and new. So go over to “366 Weird Movies”, take the road less traveled, even if it is crooked and leads to a rabbit hole. Ahhh video stores…anybody remember those? Well in “Red Eyes” there is one and it is called “Galaxy Video”, back when mom and pop video rental stores proliferated though out America, gimmicks were used to keep the customer coming in, i.e. special devices, giveaways, food, people dressed as characters from various films etc. “Red Eyes” plays on this and also uses it as a wraparound (excuse) to introduce sub par horror anthology segments, a big man in a trench coat with a mustache and mullet rents a “Vid-Visor” from Galaxy Video, a virtual reality type contraption that you have to put quarters into to make it work and show you bad short films, now first off, why the fuck would you want to put quarters into something you already paid to rent in the first place? I mean you paid already, this fucking “Vid-Visor” would have me walking away calling it out for what it was, a scam to siphon quarters off of you. As you can see “Red Eyes” from the beginning makes no sense. Mullet guy when he puts on the Vid-Visor, sees a screen that looks like the type of IBM computer graphics I used in junior high flashing “Insert Coin” he rummages through his pockets and finds some change. The grim reaper appears with flashing red eyes, I am sure they picked up this grim reaper at some cheap Halloween chain store, an early 1990’s “Spirit” store. He calls himself Charon, the same name of the boat man in Greek mythology and introduces the first horror short. The shorts in this anthology aren’t very good, that being said they are at least entertaining and the movie isn’t boring, the first short has a grandmother telling her grandson while fishing on a dock about a World War Two vet that got antsy not being in a battle and goes into the lake their fishing at to see if the a downed Japanese POW plane is being operated as a base by the enemy, he goes into the lake and disappears, soon a really stereotyped Japanese soldier zombie emerges from the lake and attacks the grandson and grandma, the World War Two vet emerges and blows up the stereotyped Japanese soldier with a grenade and gives the kid his dog tags. After this short ends the mullet guy has no more change so he lures a priest to his door collecting money for the poor, and slams his hand so hard in the door it pops off spewing blood. Wow. So a dumb horror short viewed in a cheap visor makes you want to kill. OK buddy. The next short is about almost all the people in the world getting into their cars and driving, a father gets his wife and daughter in their car and they drive aimlessly, he tells them he heard about a family whose car stalled and the people just died. Soon they come across their deceased son, they stop and let him in the car and they keep driving all happy. Uh without a job, driving aimlessly around with no income, you aren’t gonna last too long, it looked like it was trying to take a shot at something Ray Bradbury like, but it misses the mark. The company who makes “Vid-Visor”, a Japanese company somehow finds out there is a malfunction in one of their units and sends an android killer to take out mullet guy. Next mullet guy murders a pizza boy to steal his change and another sub par short pops up about a theater that swallows lonely people represented by a clown, it is done documentary style with interviews with police, journalists and the theater owners. The last and best short in “Red Eyes” is about a guy who has long hair, a Motorhead T shirt, drives a muscle car and is a jerk who drinks booze in a bag while harassing his girlfriend. The music in this short is a mix of Z grade hair and thrash metal which makes this short the best out of the whole rotten bunch. Long hair guy drunkenly hits a girl on roller skates while she is carrying her doll. He puts the girl’s body in the woods and takes the doll home, the doll comes to stop motion life and makes him drink rat poison and cuts his throat. His girlfriend wanting to make up comes in in black see through lingerie and screams when she sees him dead. Android assassin locates mullet guy at a bowling alley where all the participants are dead and finds mullet guy sitting down with a toy walking skull, the assassin goes to shoot him, sees a bowling pin and uses that to take his head off which goes down the alley, knocks all the pins down and reemerges in the ball machine thing. The end. SIGH… HA! HA! Yes, dumb, cheap, nonsensical, inept etc. “Red Eyes” will give you red eyes because you’ll be laughing so hard you’ll be crying. Not to be confused with equally entertaining “Laughing Dead” (1989) this movie isn’t funny, in fact, its cynical and depressing. Then you ask why the hell are you reviewing this on your blog? Well, because its a cynical, depressing AND interesting. Speaking of “confused” this movie gets confusing in some parts. A kid runs away from some people after his mother is burned at the stake, he dives in a river and seemingly as an adult washes up on the banks of a city that looks suspiciously like L.A., a future LA where milkmen load the numerous dead and addicted into the milk trucks, people melt, people rampantly shoot up heroin, half hog half wolf things chase people, acid rain falls in intervals, all the TV shows look like something you’d see on public access TV in a nightmare alternate reality and a limo chases people down running them over. Sometimes “The Laughing Dead” tries too hard to be depressing and ruling over this movies tries too hard to be depressing and ruling over this mess is a vampire elite who feeds on the poverty stricken populace. The man who is washed up befriends two female junkies and forgets where or when he came from, he runs into a black revolutionary who randomly blows people away and runs them over saying “Their gonna die anyways”. It turns out the man can travel on the river of time and his brother the vampire is the ruler of the city and he’s been looking for his brother for years this the Gen X cynical outlook pushed to the brink. That being said “The Laughing Dead” makes for an interesting watch, again at an hour and half this movie didn’t have me looking down at my watch, the film looks scummy, and the surroundings look filthy, like this movie needs to take a long hot shower and be scrubbed with a Brillo pad, of course most of this is due to the cheap film stock this movie was shot on but besides that if they wanted to create a post apocalyptic hell hole they did a hell of job and is a must see for post apocalyptic film fanatics. The story about a time traveling vampire gets confusing and parts don’t make sense but just let your brain soak in the insanity of this movie. “The Laughing Dead” is a movie I don’t see or hear about too much and for good reason, I found this VHS at a yard sale, the guy wanted a buck for it, that is too much for this movie but I don’t think I wasted money, I’ll make sure you don’t either because really you can’t find this movie anywhere. This movie is what happens when a person watches too many David Lynch, John Waters and 1950’s sci fi horror movies and mixes them up in their head. This movie’s logic is not of this world but that isn’t a bad thing. A goth looking girl, Connie Sproutz, checks into a decrepit motel and the night clerk, played by James Diederichsen who also does the special effects in “Disembodied” looks like death warmed over and he also gives out creeper vibes, the only room he has left is in the basement near the boiler, the look of this boiler would give David Lynch a hard on. Her next door neighbor is a buxom prostitute named Trixie, who turns tricks, there is also a cleaning lady who smokes giant cigars and complains about cleaning the shit hole of a hotel. Connie keeps her brain in a jar and feeds it liquids, she also has a machine that keeps her dreams of outer space and alien landscapes from becoming a reality, all the while a man who looks like Colonel Sanders, Dr. Sigmund Sylvanus pursues her on behalf of a corporation. Connie used to work for the corporation and was taken over by a parasite alien while doing research and is on the run. Connie has a huge pimple that spews liquid that turns people into slime which she eats and then she gives birth to breathing vagina like things she stores in a dirty bathtub. Trixie befriends Connie and the clerk tries to pick up both girls by asking them to watch old educational film reels and the girls always turn him down which makes him very frustrated. These characters are pretty much the main ones, except for two victims of Connie and a John Trixie slaps, it exists in its own strange world, there is stop motion and rocks that Connie collects that change into different items like balls, dolls etc. There is flowers that spew liquid in stop motion. I wasn’t bored one minute and the fact that this movie is only one hour and seventeen minutes makes it ever better. The otherworldly quality of this film and the world it creates will keep you interested. The last puppet movie I saw that was made for adults was Peter Jackson’s “Meet the Feebles”, it was before Jackson slathered CGI shit all over the screen with “Bored of the Dings”. “Meet the Feebles” featured puppets fucking, getting AIDs, having eating disorders and being addicted to drugs, you know, kid’s stuff. Now I know in the interim that there was one other adult puppet movie that came out which I never saw called “Happy Time Murders” but Melissa McCarthy’s presence makes me not want to see it. However, while rolling through the web site “366 Weird Movies” I came across a review for a movie called “Frank and Zed” which featured all puppets, and watching the trailer made me cum in my pants. I crossed my fingers hoping there was somewhere I could watch it. No such luck, until I visited the filmmaker’s facebook page and web site which was called “Puppetcore” to see if there was anyway I could see it. “Frank and Zed” was going to be streamed through Halloween and I plopped down my money down and what I got was a puppet movie unlike I’d ever seen, a fantasy, horror and comedy, three of my favorite genres mashed together, visually eye popping, gut busting funny, I had a great time watching “Frank and Zed”, the puppets all had personalities of their own right down to the background puppets, “Frank and Zed” is like a mutant hybrid of “Evil Dead 2”, “Meet the Feebles” and “Young Frankenstein”. I don’t want to give too much away, but the movie tells the tale of Frank who was made from various body parts and Zed who is a zombie whose soul is trapped in its body by the God of Death, whom Frank and Zed were made to serve. The God of Death seeks to rule over a small village but he is slaughtered by the villagers and he puts a curse on the village saying they will all die in a “Orgy of Blood”. A priest and a lord plot to overthrow the king and make the curse not happen by tricking the villagers into killing Frank and Zed whom they see as maintaining the curse and all hell breaks loose. Bones break, blood splatters, brains get eaten etc. I sure hope sooner or later this gets released in physical format, the only draw back to watching it online streaming was that it had a watermark right in the middle of the screen, which was annoying, but I understand why they put it there, to keep theft from happening. “Frank and Zed” took an impressive seven years to make by Portland, OR based filmmaker Jesse Blanchard and crew, the miniatures were shot on the RED camera which was Stanley Kubrick’s favorite lens. Jesse and his crew made all the sets and puppets in his garage and used mainly practical effects, only using CGI for some thunder and electricity, this movie was strictly old school. He helped fund “Frank and Zed” in part through Kickstarter. This movie is a hoot and I can’t wait to watch it again, another hidden newer movie that is actually good. Here is praying “Frank and Zed” comes out in Blu Ray/DVD sooner rather than later. The web site “Bleeding Skull” (my web site review here: http://www.noisepuncher.net/2021/05/13/web-site-spotlight-bleeding-skull/) dives deep, deep, deep in the scummy abyss like recesses of the pop culture of yesteryear and the present, bringing up the celluloid filth that most everybody else would like to see gone from the face of the earth. But I am glad I am not everybody else, there is times “Bleeding Skull” actually comes out of the recesses with a fistful of gold and diamonds. “Bleeding Skull” is the only site to have guts enough to try to watch every SOV (shot on video) and mid fi film in existence, I’ve done a review on their web site, now it is time to review the reference books they put out and, boy oh boy, did I find a lot of good movies I otherwise wouldn’t have found without the books and their web site. The first book, “Bleeding Skull! A 1980’s Trash-Horror Odyssey”, is the first volume, published by the great Headpress Publishing, all films are listed in alphabetical order, with black and white photos and a handy index, this book dares to go into the steaming pile that is SOV and mid fi movies of the 1980’s. In the 1980’s video rental stores (RIP) were popping up all over the country, people forget that movies even back then on VHS weren’t cheap to buy, especially in the early days. So mostly local and regional film makers shot no budget “epics” on their camcorders or Super 8 cameras, using Halloween store make up and cheap prosthetics, primitive computer graphics, using friends, relatives, significant others as actors etc. slapping some interesting cover art on the box and selling them from video store to video store. I actually remember as a kid watching some of these movies when me, my brother and cousin would rent the movie based on the box art, only to take it home and be disappointed. As kids we bought the cover art hook line and sinker, it wasn’t until I was older that I got into SOV, as a kid I was too used to seeing movies with some of a budget, movies like “Dark Crystal”, “Return of the Jedi”, “ET”, “Killer Klowns from Outer Space” and the like, not something me and my friends made with my dad’s camcorder. The very first movie that brought back the SOV beast for me was “Black Devil Doll From Hell” directed by Chester Turner, which I stumbled across in “The Psychotronic Video Guide” (you can see my weird book report on aforementioned book right here: http://www.noisepuncher.net/2021/03/25/wtf-is-the-psychotronic-video-guide/) reference book, reading the description made me run out and get it off of ioffer. When I put the movie on my jaw hit the floor, it was like watching some pervert’s home made doll fetish video and then the SOV beast came roaring out from the back of my childhood mind and bit me good. That led me to searching out and finding “Bleeding Skull”. This book “Bleeding Skull! A 1980’s Trash-Horror Odyssey” turned me on to so many other movies from that period of time which I am eternally grateful . In addition to “Black Devil Doll From Hell” you’ll get reviews on movies with titles like “Attack of the Killer Refrigerator”, “Bloody Video Horror That Made Me Puke on My Aunt Gertrude”, “Cannibal Hookers”, “Killer Workout” and the like, you’ll get capsule reviews from Joseph Ziemba who I know personally is a cool dude and has responded to every email and message I have sent him and founder of “Bleeding Skull” and Daniel Budnik whose dry wit and humor had me belly laughing. The two guys don’t take the subject matter too seriously and who would? This book is free wheeling fun like the 1980’s as a decade were, I was literally writing down what movies I had to search out after reading this book, sometimes I couldn’t find the movies they were talking about because they were so rare. Speaking of rare, this book is out of print at Headpress and everywhere else, copies are gonna cost you an arm and leg. Luckily I was a early “Bleeding Skull” fan and bought the book when it was in print. This book covers movies from the 1980’s to the early 1990’s because to be honest the early 1990’s were still the 1980’s style wise. This is when we dive face first into the 1990’s and face plant…HARD. “Bleeding Skull! A 1990’s Trash-Horror Odyssey” delves deep into the SOV and mid fi cesspit that was the 1990’s. Video rental stores were still around but they were more wise to the “box art masking a home made movie” so different companies sold them direct through catalogs, magazine ads and the newly burgeoning internet. Also, this was when the PC shit beast started to rear its butt ugly head and being “ironic” was the creed of the day. This book was put out this year and I’ve literally been waiting for it for about two years thinking it would never come out. Fantagraphics, whom people who read my site know I love, was taking forever to put it out. Well it finally came out, the dry wit of Daniel Budnik was gone and replaced with Annie Choi, and Zack Carlson with Joe still on board. This time the book has higher production values, it has color photos and art, slick pages, its again in alphabetical order with an index. And again this one put me on to movies I had never heard of movies like “Attack of the Serial Killers from Outer Space”, “Blood Slaves of the Vampire Wolf”, “Frankenstein’s Planet of Monsters!”, “I Was a Teenage Serial Killer” etc. And the problem is Annie, Zack and, to a lesser extent, Joe, took the 1990’s moniker too seriously, don’t get me wrong, the writers replacing Dan are damn funny in their own way, when their not trying to preach or virtue signal. Come on guys, this a fucking book on no budget movies not your college term paper, in fact, when I read some of the reviews peppered with PC millennial/zoomer horse shit, I’d roll my eyes. The prior book had little to no meditating on politics of any kind, in fact in Annie’s review for “I Was a Teenage Serial Killer” she abandons humor altogether and goes on a huge diatribe about how women are still oppressed, no humor at all, all I had to say is “SHUT THE FUCK UP”. I am here to find out about movies I’d never heard, not have some ex college ass hat lecture me on how evil I am, she is not the only one, Joe also does his share of preaching which he didn’t do in the previous book, like under the movie review for “Limbo” you get this “I am a white dude. Because of this, there’s no way for me to understand the challenges women and people of color face on a daily basis (me: semi true). I recognize that my life has been easier (me: bullshit you don’t know that, this isn’t Jim Crow America and not every woman and black person has the same experience, their individuals not a collective faceless mass, like white people, some women and black people have had either easier or tougher experiences depending on their circumstances.) This is why its important for me-and every other white man on the planet-to celebrate the accomplishments of people who are not white whenever possible (me: if their work interests me or their creative that is my criteria not because of skin color or gender, that is what you virtue signals call “Racist”)”. Then he goes on to tell a story of how a woman, Tina Krause, completed and submitted her movie “Limbo” to different film festivals under her own name and got rejection after rejection, then she did it under the name Stephen and was accepted once she was called to address the crowd she went on stage and berated the festival and film goers for “Sexism” and Joe slowly clapped, so Joe did it even enter your mind that maybe since “Limbo” is an SOV movie that most festivals wouldn’t take it? Is it quite possible that they didn’t like the movie and wouldn’t accept it? Too many people are quick to jump on the “victim” band wagon, maybe Tina’s experience was an actual one but this is the kind of crap that hurt the book for me. Annie, Zack and Joe do a good job, but they would’ve done a great job if they hadn’t thrown in the virtue signaling horse shit that is prevalent all over most indie/cult film sites, it isn’t original and its boring. That being said this volume is still good and you can easily ignore the political preaching junk, they don’t do it too much but when they do its annoying and makes them seem like virtue beggars. Guys stick to humor and reviewing movies, save the mealy mouthed bull shit for the talking heads and loser academics in their ivory towers. Mark Polonia who made a shit load of SOV movies and is a SOV legend does the intro for the book. These days digital cameras, cheap computer graphic and editing programs, even phones etc. have made it easier than ever to make movies, the SOV legacy lives on and all one needs to do is go to Amazon Prime Video or Tubi to see the independent spirit to make low to no budget movies is still alive, even though most video stores have gone the way of the dinosaurs. SOV makers now use streaming services, sell DVD and Blu Rays of their own releases through their own web sites and use video hosting sites to show their work, as long as there is a person with a passion and a camera out there of some sort that spirit will never die and “Bleeding Skull” is still the king of digging up these treasures, may they never waver in their pursuit of beautiful trash. Dan (played by Klaus Tange) returns home from a business trip to find that his wife Edwige (played by Ursula Bedena) is missing without any evidence of her leaving or a break in, he starts looking for her in different rooms of the building, the first lady is behind a veil and tells the story of how her own husband went missing after he was hearing voices and sounds behind the wall where he gets stabbed. Soon Dan turns to the police, at first the inspector (played by Jean-Michel Vovk) is dismissive and of no help at all, Dan has a dream of going to the roof top and encountering a nude woman who jumps. The inspector himself has a missing wife and as the movie goes on it does play with giallo genre tropes but goes into Lynchesque, abstract, noir territory with shifting perspectives of reality. “The Strange Colour of Your Body’s Tears” uses a lot of symbolism and metaphors, sometimes you can’t tell if what Dan is seeing is real or what he perceives to be real, and without giving too much away there is another world within the walls of the building and Dan becomes a voyeur spying on the weird going ons of his neighbors. While to some extent, “The Strange Colour of Your Body’s Tears” is less linear then its predecessor “Amer”, this one, in my opinion, is more rich and mysterious. Its true you get the masked killer with razor and brightly lit color scheme of Argento and Bava, you get a lot more of a stylized and noir like atmosphere. I liked “The Strange Colour of Your Body’s Tears” more and it is one I want to revisit. The directors claim you need to watch it more than once to get more of the details and more of the stories. This movie will try a lot of people’s patience, even the ones who are into the weird and absurd, that is a warning. This is a love or hate it proposition, if the above description of the movie interests you by all means dive in, if it doesn’t well if you dive in your diving into an empty pool and you will get hurt. Heading into Halloween it has been a tradition of mine to watch nothing but horror movies for the month of October, that includes every sub genre of horror, so keeping that in mind I decided to review a newer movie that needs more attention by “newer” I mean 2009. And that movie would be the giallo film “Amer” by French husband wife team Helene Cattet and Bruno Forzani who did the equally retro western/heist/polzieschi film “Let the Corpses Tan” (My review is here: http://www.noisepuncher.net/2021/02/12/go-ahead-let-the-corpses-tan-2017/). The film is in three parts, the first part is about the main character, Ana, as a child played by Cassandra Forêt . Now the first part is the strangest part of all, the girl lives with her parents who seem on edge, her grandma who seems to be mentally unstable and dress in black and her dead grandfather who they have laid out on a bed. This first part seems to meld both reality and the girl’s over imagined perception of it. Little girl Ana, seems frightened by all the adults in her life, including her dead grandfather. Now this part is pure Bava/Argento worship with strange colors and leather clad masked killer with a razor who pursues her after she snatches some jewelry from the dead hands of her grandfather. When she sees her father and mother having sex after being scared at her black funeral clad grandmother spying on her, she gets traumatized and her psyche seems to literally shatter. The second part of “Amer” goes into Ana’s teenage years (played by Charlotte Eugène Guibeaud), where she has a sexual awakening which she is both turned on by and repulsed by. This is illustrated when her and her mother walk to the butcher shop, the butcher shop owner’s son tries to kiss her and she turns away. She walks toward what looks like a biker gang whose lustful gaze turns to her, there is barely any dialogue in this scene, just the sound of the rustling of her mini skirt and the crinkling of their leather. She seems to be turned on by the fact that these guys could jump her at any minute on the one hand but on the other she has complete power over them. Her mother finds her and slaps her for the flirting. The third part sees Ana (played by Marie Bos) as a grown up is on a train closely surrounded by men and she seems to be aroused by it. She gets picked up in a taxi cab by a man (played by Harry Cleven) dressed in leather, the man is gazing at her in the mirror the whole time and she is aware of it. At times she begs him to open the window because its hot in the car and he pretends to not listen a couple times as if he trying to show her he is in charge. He ends up dropping her off at her old house which is decrepit and rundown, she goes inspecting and she keeps seeing a dark figure out of the corner of her eyes. At one point when she goes to take a bath, a man in leather tries to drown her but she pulls the plug. As she gets out the man who drove the taxi cab seems to be stalking the house, I am not gonna give away anymore but the end is a mind fuck. The “giallo” genre has certain tropes, the masked killer with the razor, a psychic/occult occurrence, crimson red blood and strange bright colors, this movie plays with all those tropes and makes them their own. This movie is stylized but it holds your attention and keeps you guessing. Another “modern” movie done right. They’d do another giallo film “The Strange Colour of Your Body’s Tears”(Drink the tears here): http://www.noisepuncher.net/2021/10/30/let-me-taste-the-strange-colour-of-your-bodys-tears-2013/.

The Cryptid Creatures Series is a collection of copper rounds that focuses on mythical and altogether made-up species from cultures around the world. Some of these creatures you have no doubt heard of, such as the Jackalope and the Abominable Snowman. Other creatures, such as the Jersey Devil and Drop Bear, many not be as well known around the world. All of the 1 oz Cryptid Creatures Fear the Jackalope Copper Rounds available in this listing come to you with individual or bulk packaging. Individual copper rounds ship inside of plastic flips, while multiples are available in tubes of 20. Obverse visuals on the Cryptid Creatures Fear the Jackalope Copper Rounds include the image of a single Jackalope. The Jackalope is shown in a seated position with antlers on the head of the jackrabbit. In front of the Jackalope, you will notice a boot with the cutoff leg of its former wear still sticking out. The leg is little more than flesh with some exposed, broken bone outside of the boot. Next to the boot and in front of the Jackalope, you will find a small shot glass and a bottle of whiskey.

The Cat-Wyrm Tatzelwurm A noxious column on using folklore in tabletop RPGs If you’ve ever thought to yourself that not enough monsters are part-cat, part-dragon, it turns out that the Alps have you covered. For hundreds of years, locals and mountaineers have been menaced by this poisonous creature—perhaps it’s time your players were as well? Of the order of wingless dragons, this feline serpent doesn’t have quite the awe-inspiring size of its more famous counterparts. Rather, it is typically described as resembling a ‘stubby lizard’, usually with a cat head, and measuring 1 to 7 feet in length. Don’t underestimate it for its size, however, as its poisonous breath induces nausea at best and kills at worst. The tatzelwurm also has a piercing gaze and is capable of emitting ear-splitting shrieks(although any cat owners could have told you that). The name tatzelwurm comes from the German Tatze (“paw, claw”) and Wurm (“worm”). Since this wyrm can be found across the Alps, it is known by many different names, including stollenwurm in Switzerland, sergstutz in Austria, and arassas in France. Each creature has a slightly different description, often larger or smaller, with more or less pronounced feline features. Tales of the Tatzelwurm Stories about the tatzelwurm and its ilk go back centuries, entering records around the 17th century. In the 1600s, a 7-foot long ‘cat-headed serpent’ with no legs and a black-grey body menaced locals. This tatzelwurm suckled on the udders of cows, sucking them dry (I guess no one told it that cats are lactose intolerant). Another man encountered a cat-faced ‘mountain dragon’ that was as tall as a man when rearing up, boar-like bristles running along its back. An illustration of this scene gives us our delightful banner image up top. The tatzelwurm was also a popular topic in many 19th-century almanacs and guides to the Alpine regions, due to the extensive anecdotal discussion of its existence. Some even still believe it really exists, classifying it as a cryptid. Of course, there’s no actual physical evidence to support the existence of cat dragons except for a hoax photo, but nonetheless (I want to believe). There are numerous legends of dragons from across the Alpine countries that we can take inspiration from for our tatzelwurm too. As an example, we can look to the Swiss legend of Heinrich von Winkelried, a criminal who accepted the duty of dragon-slayer in exchange for a pardon for manslaughter. Using a barbed spear he actually did manage to slay the beast, but it was a short-lived victory. He raised his sword above his head in triumph, thanked God, and promptly died from the creature’s poisonous blood dripping onto him. Oops. Using Tatzelwurms in Your Game The tatzelwurm has a number of potential uses in your game, both as a monster and as an idea. Here’s just a few! The tatzelwurm occupies an interesting space as a creature that can function as a ‘lesser dragon’. Your average game of D&D often has fewer appearances of one of its two main nouns than you might think, but is having low-level parties fight baby dragons the solution? To preserve the mystique of ‘true’ dragons, creatures like the tatzelwurm allow you to have draconic encounters without needing to power down an actual dragon to prevent a quick TPK. The tatzelwurm is a popular Alps tale, speaking to mysterious animal encounters and explaining what might have knocked free rocks nearby as you travel. So, why not lean into it? Especially in a period game like Call of Cthulhu or Vaesen, a villainous character might use stories of the tatzelwurm to their advantage. They might have a secret mining operation they need people to steer clear off, or perhaps they poisoned someone and managed to direct blame at a mythical creature. Either way, only a team of intrepid investigators can stop them from getting away with their lies. Plus, if you like some dramatic irony, the PCs can always accidentally chase the fleeing villain straight into a tatzelwurm’s cave. If feline familiars are a witchy classic, I’d be remiss not to posit the tatzelwurm as a punk alternative. Diminutive tatzelwurms, either from age or breeding, are a growing attraction in the occult underground after all. You have to pay through the nose for one, of course, but your part-cat part-serpent will make you the centre of attention at your next Witches' Sabbath. Just be careful it doesn’t start leaking its poison breath, that’s a sure mood killer. Tatzelwurm Statistics (Old-School) Armor Class: 3 Hit Dice: 5** (22 hp) Attacks: [2 × claw (1d4), 1 × bite (1d8)] or 1 x breath (poison) THAC0: 15 [+4] Move: 120’ (40’) Save As: Fighter 5 ▶ Poison Immunity: Immune to most poisons. ▶ Poison Breath: Once per hour, may breathe a 20’ cloud of poison gas directly in front. All in the cloud must save versus poison or be overcoming with headaches and dizziness for 1 turn: no physical activity possible except half speed movement. Cloud disperses after 1d3 rounds. ▶ Poison Blood: Skin contact causes death (save vs poison). ▶ Pounce: Lies in wait to pounce on unsuspecting passers-by. This description is for a human-sized tatzelwurm. Smaller wurms have reduced HD and a less virulent poison, while larger wurms have increased HD and can let out an ear-splitting scream that causes temporary immobility (save vs paralysis). These more powerful tatzelwurm are said to have the shrewd cunning of true dragons. And that’s it for the tatzelwurm! Thanks for reading; next week we’ll be turning from serpentine felines to shape-shifting canines. I’ve got a special plan for subscribers to celebrate three months of Mythoi too, so stay tuned for that! Penny for your thoughts: Have you ever run or played in an adventure set in the Alps? Alternatively, what’s the most monstrous cat-based creature you’ve encountered? ~ A.C. Luke Thanks for reading Mythoi! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. Find my games on itch.io! ★ Follow me on Twitter ★ Follow me on Instagram Lecouteux, Claude. 2016. Encyclopedia of Norse and Germanic Folklore, Mythology, and Magic. Inner Traditions: Rochester. Cohen, Daniel. 1982. The Encyclopedia of Monsters. Fraser Stewart Book Wholesale Ltd: Hertfordshire. Clark, Jerome, and Coleman, Loren. 1999. Cryptozoology A To Z. Simon & Schuster: New York. Flight, Tim. “St. George and Beyond: 12 Dragon-Slayers from Around the World”. History Collection. Retrieved 10 September 2022. This blog is amazing. You had me at "cat-dragon." Very intriguing, as always! Thanks for sharing!

Response comes after mystery platform images go viral Eureka, CA – In response to visual evidence suggesting a primitive hominid in a public forest, city officials in a Northern California coastal community strongly dismissed the possibility of a Bigfoot in the preserve. The denial came after photos circulated on the Internet from Eureka’s Sequoia Park, seeming to show a hominid or hominids 50 feet or more above the forest floor in a tall redwood tree on a platform. The images, first posted on this site some days ago, were taken by an experienced Western naturalist visiting the 70-acre sanctuary, which protects many old growth redwoods. The photos were determined to be original and unaltered. The platform in question is part of the Redwood Sky Walk, currently under construction and slated to open later this year, which will connect the city of Eureka’s zoo with its redwood community forest. Sky trail high in the trees The $4M canopy trail will extend a quarter mile into the forest, connecting numerous tree platforms and rising as high as 100 feet from the forest floor. The ADA-compliant project will include an aerial segment for less mobile visitors. A high-ranking city staffer familiar with the project dismissed the idea of a primitive man monster in the park. “I don’t even see how that’s possible,” he said. No workers were aware of such a creature, he added, urging residents and curious out-of-towners to avoid the area during the sky walk’s final construction phase and after its soft launch to reduce the human footprint in the park and zoo during Covid restrictions. Bigfoot expert weighs in Cryptozoology expert Steven Streufert, who owns Bigfoot Books in Willow Creek, was cautious in his assessment of the photos. “It’s ambiguous enough to be interpreted as such. It seems to have a form and the shape of a body. It’s fairly solid and not just a shadow. But I still have a lot of questions.” A commenter on the King Bigfoot blog thought the creature was wearing something that blended it into the background. “The person or bigfoot in the pic appears to be wearing a hat or a rain breaker. Definite artificial material not fur,” David Williams posted. Potential megafauna habitat Photographic evidence aside, the question remains whether a primitive primate, should such a species exist in the California wilds, could find itself in Sequoia Park. It has large redwoods, meadows, springs, a lake, grottos and tree caves, and food sources like fish, waterfowl, berries, shoots and roots. Deer and the occasional black bear have been spotted here. Dr. Richard Stepp, a former professor of physical sciences at Humboldt State University and lifelong researcher on paranormal topics, thinks it would be possible. “There are streams that flow through the park, covered with thick underbrush. Streams are traditional passageways for large mammals to travel without detection,” Stepp said. Moreover, he added, there have been other reports of primitive hominids near Eureka, including the testimony of an eyewitness from a farm south of town in the 1940s. Sighting near cryptid hotspot While on the outskirts of Eureka, Sequoia Park connects with green corridors of private and public forests that extend all the way to Humboldt County’s Six Rivers National Forest and Redwood National Park, regions with more documented hominid encounters than anywhere in California. They include the famous Patterson-Gimlin creature, captured on film in 1967 near Willow Creek, the so-called Bigfoot capital of the world.

This week we should be celebrating the 9th birthday of my son. Instead we are celebrating the 9th anniversary since his murder. If you have any information, please call FBI Portland Office @ 207-774-9322 ask for Agent Andy Drewer. November 14, 2013 10PM @ Southern Maine Community College Art Studio Bug-Light Parking Lot: 3 strangers armed with golf clubs, attacked me from behind while I was loading bags into the backseat of my car. They were a blond woman 60s-ish whom the others called "Claire", a natural red-haired woman also 60sish who called herself "Kendra", and a bald man, football player-body-type-build in his 30sish. I was 8 months pregnant. They murdered my baby, ruptured 3 discs in my spine, shattered 3 vertebra, broke my pelvis, hips, and knees. I was paralyzed for 5 months and was 18 months relearning to walk. The nerve damage has left me with limited use of my hands, legs, bladder, and intestines. On top of that, they have also taken to harassing the baby's father, a disfigured, homeless, WW2 veteran, whom they call "Etoile". They spread hateful rumours about him claiming he is a cryptid, a demon, or most often what they term "an amphibious alien". He lives in pine branch lean-toos he builds in Old Orchard Beach and Ocean Park, and they have been hunting the locations of them, tearing them down, and smashing up his belongings. April 10, 2015 1PM at 146 Portland Ave Old Orchard Beach Maine a gang of estimated 74 people, some of them wearing ku klux klan robes, invaded my farm, used a Blow Brothers sewage truck to pump 500+gallons of sewage into my motorhome flooding it to over the kitchen counters deep, ripped out all the cabinets and built in furniture, while 14 men armed with guns, held my family down on the ice and snow, with guns to our heads, and used cinder block bricks and a metal pole with metal wire loops to beat and behead 10 of my 12 foster children (the youngest age 4, the oldest age 16). May 15, 2015 they returned and nailed their heads to my front door. The 3 people of the November 14, 2013 attack were among the group. September 12, 2015, 9AM a dozen+ of these same people arrived again in my driveway at 146, this time chanting: "Too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach. Kill of be killed. Remember Saco Shaw's, Transgender Murder Store, kill the transvestites before they kill us all", one white haired man in a dark green pick up truck was leading the herd, while waving a rifle over his head and shooting at me and my pink motorhome, he shot several holes through my neighbour's shed. The crowd was accusing me of being a male-to-female "transgender terrorist" (they thought I was Muslim because I wear Catholic veiling). June 26, 2016, the same 2 women of the first 2 attacks, arrived at my Scarborough WalMart workplace, and in a near repeat of the first attack, again while I was leaned over the back seat of my car putting bags in, this time they attacked with a chopping cart, re-injuring my spine, hip, and pelvis that was not yet fully healed from the first attack. The blond "Claire" woman was screaming "That's EelKat, she tried to kill my husband!" while the redhead screamed "I'm Kendra Silvermander it's my turn the shine!" They sped away in a early2000s-vintage gold Volvo SUV station wagon. This attack left me permanently crippled, and bedridden from 2016 until May 2022. November 21, 2021: They shot "Etiole" in Biddeford, while he was staying at the tent-shanty-village with about 50 other homeless people along the Saco River in Biddeford. They made the claim he was a "suicide demon" citing that he was driving locals to suicide by putting "evil eye curses" on them. These people murdered my baby, attempted to murder the baby's father, drove a backhoe over our house, and left me crippled for the rest of my life in their attempt to murder me. I do not know who these people are. I never saw them before these attacks, and I've not seen them outside of these attacks. The police and FBI believe I was not the intended target, and that they were likely after my mother because of posts she makes on FaceBook and got us mixed up. The Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford Police and the FBI are seeking information leading to their identity and arrest. These people who show up to vandalize, while they scream about aliens and demons and Etiole, prove how retarded they are by their own words. Because only a retarded person believes in aliens. Because only a retarded person believes in ufos. Because only a retarded person believes in demons. Because only a retarded person believes in ghosts. Because only a retarded person believes in haunted cars. Because only a retarded person believes in demon possessed cars. Because only a retarded person believes in alien abduction. The inbred insect locals of Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford, Maine are too damned retarded to know how much of a fool they make themselves look when they run around calling my cars demon possessed, calling my husband an alien, and calling me an alien abductee. More Info @ eelkat.com Long detailed info on the over 200 attacks they have done between June 2001 and May 2022, including photos of them driving a backhoe over our house on August 8, 2013 and the details of the malicious "amphibious alien" rumour they have been spreading about a local homeless disabled veteran @ July 4th 2013: my car in front of my house. August 8, 2013: me getting home from work to find a backhoe sitting on top of my house. The FBI already found the people with the backhoe incident, and learned that the backhoe driver was paid $600 and given a fake demolition paper, the paper stating one of my relatives (the one who paid him the $600) owned my land. The backhoe driver was unaware that the man he was dealing with was not the owner. I have lived at 146 Portland Ave since 1975 and have owned the land since 1983, it has never been owned by anyone else, even though we have now learned that both my mother and my father and 3 of my uncles had been actively going around Old Orchard Beach claiming they owned my land. This happened 3 months before my son was murdered and the police and FBI believe my son was murdered BECAUSE of this picture being posted on FaceBook, and my mother making inciting/inflammatory posts about it on HER FaceBook, where she falsely accused me of being a witch. The FBI and OOB police believe the golf club wielding woman of November 14, 2013, is somehow connected to the backhoe driving over my house incident. Since the murder, 3 other different backhoes have invading my land to dig up my yard, looking for the grave of my son. There is a family cemetery on my land, the stones dating mostly in the 1500s and 1600s, with a few from the past hundred years, the most recent being my son in 2013. 146 Portland Ave has belonged to my family since 1530, and I inherited it in 1983 from my grandmother Helen Ricker Allen. The most recent backhoe attack happened September 19, 2020, when they illegally cut down several trees in my yard, and started construction of a road through my yard between my pink 1975 Dodge Sportsman motorhome and BackElder Brooke, again the backhoe digging up and destroying large portions of my farm, in their search for my murdered son's grave. They dug up 16 of the graves in this attack. We have had to remove the grave markers from the family grave in order to stop these vandals and their illegally trespassing construction equipment from destroying the graves. The FBI believes these construction crews are being hired by the golf club wielding women, and believe she is trying to destroy the grave of my son, due to a fear of his golf club smashed skull being used as court evidence against her. The most recent attacks by these people occurred November 21, 2021 and March 27, 2022 when they attacked my painted Volvo while it was parked at my dad's apartment in Biddeford, both times the vandals also cut all the wires to electricity, internet, and cable off the apartment building, effecting all 9 families living there. The Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford Police Departments as well as the Portland FBI are seeking any information regarding any and all of these attacks on my family, my home, my land, or my cars. If you have any information, please call FBI Portland Office @ 207-774-9322 ask for Agent Andy Drewer. And no... to those who asked... the FBI is not looking for info on the 4-door white truck driver... the FBI has ALREADY ARRESTED the driver and owner of the 4-door white truck - 2 different people. The 4-door white truck was owned by Old Orchard Beach Town Hall clerk and Old Orchard Beach Police Department Dispather Kathy Smith, Relief Society President of the Saco Ward of the Agusta Stake Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Her son was the driver. They were both arrested and sentenced in 2017, and were also both excommunicated from the Mormon church as a result of their MANY hate crimes, which included but were not limited to the 4 door white truck attacks of 2013 to 2016. Yes. A LOT of arrests have already been made. Do keep in mind the April 10, 2015 attack involved 74 people who were wearing Ku Klux Klan style white robes and pillow cases over their heads (which is how you can tell they were not real, actual Ku Klux Klan members as the REAL Ku Klux Klan wear miters on their heads, NOT pillow cases). There are in total MORE THEN 74 people actively being hunted down by twenty-one different Maine police departments, the Maine state police, the Florida State police, the Connecticut State police, and the FBI. Since the backhoe attack of August 8, 2013, there have been a whooping 24 arrests JUST IN TWO CHURCHES: The Saco Ward of the Augusta Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints The Sanford Ward of the Exeter Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints. There have been additional arrests at the following three churches which all have the same owner: Grace Point in Biddeford New Life (aka That Church in front of WalMart) in Biddeford Curtis Lake Church in Sanford Due to the alarmingly high rate of arrests and prison sentences made at these 5 churches, the police and FBI have focused the bulk of their investigation on all members of these five congregations, with the bulk of the investigation being on the two Mormon churches and all friends, family, and relatives of the members of those five churches, as it is believed that ALL people involved in the murder and 20+ years of harassment of my family, are all members of these 5 churches and or friends, family, and relatives of these five churches. To date, 64 of the 74 suspected white hood wearers of April 10, 2015, have commit suidice, four of which when killing themselves, also killed 5 or more members of their families with them at the same time. One of them was Old Orchard Beach Police officer Bruce Savoy, who killed his entire family and then himself. The police and FBI believe there is a suicide pact between the 74 attackers who arrived April 10, 2015 on my farm at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine... as 64 of them have now commit suicide, between 2015 and 2023. Additionally, Agent Andy Drewer was NOT the original FBI agent heading the case. Laura was. FBI agent Laura was murdered February 6, 2021, during her attempt to arrest a murder suspect who was in Florida at the time he murdered her. So in addition to murdering my son, these people have now also murdered an FBI agent. People around local, seem to forget that what happened April 10, 2015, was not some local hick beating up one person... this was a large PREMEDITATIED ORGANIZED EVENT which drew in a CROWD of WELL OVER ONE HUNDRED PEOPLE to activly participate in beating to deth and beheading ten children, the oldest being aged 16 and the youngest being aged just 4 years old. What the people of Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford, Maine did was monstrous on levels of extreemes. And then when the FBI agents tried to arrest these people, they ganged up again on February 6, 2021 and murdered, not one, but THREE FBI agents. This is an organized terrorist group that is activly killing people here in Maine.... and this Claire woman that murdered my baby, the one the FBI believes is the ring leader who has been organizing these events.... and when I say events... I was NOT the first family attacked. According to the FBI, the April 10, 2015 attack was the ELEVENTH such attack to happen on Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine since June 2001. And since the April 10, 2015 attack on my family, this VERY LARGE hate group has repeated this even seven more times, to seven more families all on just one street, all on Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine... in total, this extremist fanatical Christian hate group has murdered more then 120 CHILDREN, just on our one street alone. And in every case, the grand of white hood wearers was chanting the same mantra: "Too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach, kill or be killed, remember Saco Shaws". This terrorist group is murdering anyone on Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, whom they believe of being gay or transgender, whether or not they are gay or transgender. These people are beyond evil. And this Claire woman is their leader, and she's the one the FBI wants. If you have any information, please call FBI Portland Office @ 207-774-9322 ask for Agent Andy Drewer. I have a weird text message… from the woman, a relative who looks enough like me to pass for my twin…from the women, who keeps pretending to be me, the one who lat Aprile pretended to be me and tried to sell my land, the one who in 2007 pretended to be me and hired a guy with a backhoe to dig holes in my land under the guise of putting in a septic system that I never ordered… the woman who in 2013 hired the same back hoe to drive over my house… the woman the FBI suspects of being the one who hired the golf club woman also in 2013 to cripple me nd murder my baby… the same woman who was in my yard April 10, 2015 again pretending to be me when she locked her cats in my motorhome, the same woman who took out 27 credit cards in my name and ran them each up to $20k max, me, who’s never had a credit card in my life because I can’t count or do math so also can’t do money or numbers, …. The same woman who creates several online accounts pretending to be me on those… that woman… just sent me a text message, wants me to go with her to Bug Light lighthouse tomorrow… Uhm… Bug Light lighthouse art studio is where I was November 14, 2013, when the Claire and Kendra women broke my spine with a gold club… so, why does this woman who has a 50 year history of impersonating me… the woman who convinced half of Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford that she owned my land, and has half the locals convinced that SHE and not ME, is me… she, suddenly wants me to met with her at the exact location where the blond Claire and red haired Kendra women - whom the FBI are still trying to find out the identity of - crippled me 9 years ago… and she won’t tell me why. Well, at the moment I am recovering from, a broken pelvis, so, I can’t get out of bed, I haven’t been able to get out of bed since December, it’s not February. So, even if I would meet up with her, which I wouldn’t, right now, I can’t anyways. She’s an Atwater… yes, the sister of Bruce Atwater… you remember him, he’s the one who was a member of Heaven’s Gate, and is so obsessed with aliens, that he and her, she helped him by pretending to be me, yet again… went around with the whole “amphibious aliens” rumors, making the claim I was abducted by aliens, calling my husband Ben Wildes, an aliens, dubbing him Etiole… he is by the way, the guy you see walking my dog with me in Biddeford… so, yeah you locals have met and talked to “Etiole” quite frequently, he attends the Saco Ward Church or Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and spent 48 years as the High Preist Quarum Leader of the Sandford Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of atter Day saists, he left the Mormon church in May 2015, after our children were murdered… thhey were kidnapped April 10, 2015, the same day the impersonator bitch locked her ten cats in my motorhome and tried to pretend they were mine, called the police, the police, Will Watson specifically, took her cats, and did not arrest me, because, they weren’t my cats… then she spent the past 9 years running around saying they were my cats and because it happened the same day, she also tries to convince people that mychildren never existed and that her cats are my children… what the fuck? She’s a raving lunatic. She’s the one who who runs around screaming “Mark and Dan this and Mark and Dan that” and I don’t know who the fuck her Mark or her Dan are, however, the psychotic gun totoing white haired man with a green pickup truck, regularly arrives in my driveway to yell at me a, claiming he’s Mark, while saying I’m deframing him, and I don’t know who the hell he is… but apparently, he’s the Mark she keeps talking about, and she’s fighting with him while claiming to be me, so now, he’s mad at me because of something she said, but I don’t even know who the hell he is or what he’s talking about. This is the same woman who ran around cutting the internet and electric wires off my Biddeford apartment building in 2021, while screaming about Tod Murphy, and I still don’t know who Todd Muruphrey is yet… except she and her friends claim he was hit by an Amtrak train Nov 21, 2021 at 10PM, and you can check the police records, no one was hit by a train that day… However, as you all saw on my dog walking livestream on Nov 19, 2021 at 6:27pm, 4 women on bikes chased a homeless man on the the freight train tracks a quarter mile away from the Amtrak train tracks… I have it on video and I’m the one who called the police. Apparently, that’s the train accident she was talking about, be she had all the dates and times and names wrong, AND, for a full 8 months after that, I had to deal with her Atwater hoodlums and their friend vandalizing my car… they did more then $10k in damages, which yes, that why I don’t have my car again, in case you hadn’t noticed a 40 year old antique car is rather difficult to find parts for. This woman… the one who does all of these things… oh yeah, by the way, you remember the woman who cut my 1964 Dodge 330 in half on May 9, 2010… yeah… same damn woman… and the same woman who took a fucking sledge hammer to my 1974 AMC Gremlin… that woman, the same one woman who has done ALL of these things… just sent me a text, wanting me to meet her at Bug Light lighthouse, where her Claire and Kendra buddies crippled me and murdered my baby 9 years ago. Why can’t this bitch leave me and my family alone! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HER!!! Bug Light? Really? The location where my baby was murdered and I was left crippled for the rest of my life? Really. She wants me to meet her at Bug Light Lighthouse. I don't know. She won't tell me. It's all a big secret. Everything's always a big secret with the Atwaters. Because everything has to be a secret with criminals. If their crimes get found out, they end up in jail. That's how criminal thugs operate. In secret. So she she can't do anything without it being some big grand secret. Why do you want me to meet you at BugLight, the lcation where my baby was murdered? It's a secret, I can't tell you, you just have to come and find out. For one thing my car is not here, because oh, fucking Atwater scum bags vandalized it. For another thing, I have a broken pelvis, I have been able to get out of bed since a week before Christmas 2022. This is the 3rd time my pelvis has rebroken, since it was originally broken by the golf club weilding Claire bitch at... oh, BugLight lighthouse! This is the same woman and her Mark simp from the day the police showed up at my Biddeford apartment to ask: Police: "You're EelKat, right?" Me: "No, that's what people call me though. EelKats a fictional character from my books." Police: "This is Biddeford, right?" Me: "Uhm? Yeah?" Police: "And I'm standing here in Biddeford right now, talking to you, right?" Me: "Uhm? Yeah?" Officer starts talking in his phone to officers Will and Robby of Old Orchard Beach Police Department: "Yeah, she's right here with me, I'm talking to her right now. Got her Autism car here and everything." Will and Robbie: "Yeah, that's what I been saying. This isn't her." Me: "What's going on?" Police: "Wolfboy is trespassing on your property again…" Me: "Wolfboy? Who's Wolfboy?" Police: "Mark. We call him Wolfboy. He calls 911 a few dozen times a day. Constant false complaints about every one. Boy who cries wolf you know." Me: "Who's Mark? I don't know anyone named Mark." Police: "Town busy body. Gossips and complains about every one. He's a real pain in the ass. Pardon my French. Can't leave anyone alone." Me: "Why is he in my yard?" Police: "Citizens arrest. Says he's arresting you." Police: "Yeah. He's got some bogus court documents that say you are not allowed on your own property because you're gay." Me: "I'm gay? How am I gay?" Police: "Yeah. Well Wolfboy thinks everybody is gay. He's waiting for the gaypocalypse, you know?" Me: "What's the gaypocalypse?" Police: "He thinks us guys are going to mass murder all the Christians. We have to deal with his fake 911 calls reporting us gaaaaaayz all the time." Me: "I take it you're gay?" Police: "Ahyap, several of us on the department. We don't like jerks like Wolfboy. He harasses people like you all the time." Me: "Like me?" Police: "Disabled. He targets disabled women. Thinks it makes him a man. You might not remember me. I was the one who came with the ambulance. You know? I knew you were laid up in bed here and couldn't be in Old Orchard right now, seeing how you can't walk, let alone drive." Me: "And you said he's in my yard right now?" Police: "Yep. He says you hired him to dig a septic tank." Me: "I what?" Police: "Yeah, we know. We checked. It wasn't you. We got this woman who's impersonating you. She's the one he's trying to arrest right now. She hired him to dig a hole in your front lawn. She says she's EelKat. That's why I'm here, to make sure you are here in Biddeford and not in Old Orchard Beach, right now. Buddy Will and Robbie are dealing with it." Me: "Why is there anyone in my yard? There should never be anyone in my yard!" Police: "Yep, we know. Wolfboy and crew do this sort of thing every day. You have no idea how often we have to deal with his crew of chronic 911 false report complainers. Whole family's crazy." Me: "So, you're telling me there are two people in Old Orchard, right now, on my land, fighting over my land, and one of them is claiming to be me?" Police: "Yeah, that's the deal." Me: "He says I hired him to build a septic tank?" Me: "Do I look like I can afford to have a septic tank built? I have twenty million in medical bills. I can't even walk! What would I even do with a septic system, my bladder and intestines don't work, I wear adult diapers because I can't even use a toilet! Why would I of all people have a septic tank put in?" Police: "Yeah. I know. I don't think Wolfboy and crew know how crippled you are. That's why we knew whoever he had in your yard, wasn't you. I also, don't think he's ever met you. We showed him a picture of you, and he swears that it wasn't you. We showed him a picture of *name removed* and he says that's you." Me: "She's not me." Police: "We know." Me: "She's been after my land for decades. Was trying to get it aways from Grammy Helen, before I inherited it." Police: "Oh, we know. Police reports from your Helen Ricker go all the way back to the 60s. They been after the Ricker farm since before you was born. Wolfboy's bitten off more than he can chew this time. He don't know who he's dealing with. He never should have gotten messed up with the Bacon Street Gang." Me: "Bacon Street Gang?" Police: "Ahyep. That's who Wolfboy has got tangled up with." Me: "Who's the Bacon Street Gang?" Police: "A gang. Think of them as kind of like the local Mafia, only worse. Most of them are doing time for murder. A few of them are out now. I don't think Wolfboy knows that's who he's dealing with any more than he knows who you are. He wouldn't be down there right now claiming she's you if he'd ever actually met you face to face." That woman and that Mark, are the ones behind most of the rumors and misinformation spread about me. The woman I know. She's a relative, with a long list of mental health problems. Her Mark buddy, that the local police call Wolfboy, I don't know. I've never seen him. Never met him as far as I know. Obviously he's some friend of hers, probably one of her exs as she has a lot of them. She's got a bad reputation for slutting around with married men and breaking up families. But all these wild alien abduction, transgender, ufo, nutcase rumors that get spread about me, whenever I ask "Who told you that lie?" They always say it came from her, my Uncle Bruce, or some guy named Mark. And clearly this Mark guy is talking about her, but he uses MY name when he does it, because he's convinced she is Me. It's incredibly obvious this Mark guy has never met me and has no clue he's being scammed by her. But it is incredibly annoying because, I'm the one who is crippled for the rest of my life because some blonde bitch named Claire beat me up with a golf club at Southern Maine Community College Bug Light Art Studio on November 14, 2013, while screaming "Kill or be killed, gotta kill the transvestite freaks before they kill us all!" I was 8 months pregnant. That mystery Claire bitch not only left me crippled, she also murdered my baby. Why? Because this mystery Mark guy runs around calling me transgender and gay even though I'm not trans or gay. And he's only doing that because this nut job Atwater woman who pretends to be me, is after my land, so she runs around doing crazy ass shit while pretending to be me, in order to start the crazy ass rumors in the first place! This Claire woman is the one the FBI is looking for information on. Because no one knows who the hell she is. She's just some random nut job who clawed out of the woodwork and showed up at college one day to attack me and kill me baby, while screaming utter insanity. The guy with her called her Claire, beyond that we've no clue who she is. This Claire woman is the one wanted for murder, agitated assault, and owes me $20million in medical bills. If she's ever identified, she's also got life in prison for murder to look forward to. No, I can not identify her: I am blind. Did you forget I am blind? I've been blind my whole life. I am legally blind. I can not see faces, not even if you are close to me. I can not make out the colour of skin because there is so little variation in colour from light to dark. I can only identify the attackers by their hair colour, because I am blind and can no see their faces. That is why I do not know who these people are. I'm blind. I've been blind since I was 8 years old. I can only identify people by their scent and the sound of their voice. Yes, the golf club woman attacked a blind pregnant women, and the FBI needs help to identify her because, I'm blind, I can only id her by the sound of her voice, and I've only encountered her twice... November 14, 2013 when she crippled me with a golf club and murdered my babyat SMCC, and June 26, 2016 when she attacked me with a shopping cart at Scarboror WalMart, she drove away in a gold volvo station wagon. The first time 2 people were with her and they called her Claire. The 2nd time only the red haired woman was with her, and she was screaming "My name is Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine!" I do not know what the faces of wither the blond Claire who drove a gold volvo wagon or the redhair Kendra Silvermander are because I'm blind... I can see exactly 8 inches from my nose, I can't even see the ground to see my own feet. That's why the FBI is in need of witnesses to come forward and identify the 2 women who murdered my baby. I'm blind, I don't know what they look like, I only know them by their voices. If you have any information, about the Claire bitch who murdered my baby at BugLight Lighthouse on November 14, 2013, please call FBI Portland Office @ 207-774-9322 ask for Agent Andy Drewer. I am severely disabled. I have been since November 14, 2013. I was paralyzed for 5 months. It took me 18 months to get out of a wheelchair. It's been 9 years and I'm still using a cane and walker to get around, but, after standing and walking for an hour or two, I collapse and have to be carried back to bed, where I end up staying for days, sometimes weeks, before I can attempt to stand up again. And since that happened, there have been a lot of local rumores. Plastic surgery reconstructed my face, but I noticeably don't look the same as I did for 40 years prior to becoming disabled. And this has led to a lot of local rumors... people call me a demon, or demon possessed, or an alien, or say I was abducted by aliens and that's why I look different. Welcome to Maine, where the average person believes aliens and demons are real, and think nothing of driving a backhoe over my house, because im just a demon who deserves it, they vandalized my car repeatedly every few months I who am already disabled and severe difficultly getting out and to the store, have even less ability to get out when my car is in the shop for repairs months to a time, multiple times a year. This is the reality of how we horrifyingly disabled people are treated, at least here in Maine. Being attacked in the college parking lot by 3 strangers with golf clubs is what dramatically changed my appearance. Doctors, plastic surgeons, rebuilt my face as best as they could, and they did a very good job all things considering. My vertebrae are broken in such a way that my spinal column is severed and so I have almost no use of my left hand and arm, I have no control over my bladder or intestines so have to wear adult diapers. And Doctors can't operate on this injury because there is an 80% chance of me becoming paralyzed from the neck down if they even attempt surgery. I have been sent to the top neurological surgeons in America and they've all said, they wouldn't dare take the risk of doing the surgery. I have been 9 years, actively studying everything I can find on the subject of spine surgery. I follow every medical journal, hanging on every update, watching and waiting for the day, when surgery advances to the point that it is an option for me. Interestingly, as a side effect of this, I started reading and watching Horror genre, something I did not previously do. Things like The Island of Dr Moreau have become my favorite books and movies. I'm not sure why. Perhaps it is because I can identify with the characters who have those radical body changing surgeries in those books and movies. In short, I have become fully obsessed with studying all aspects of radical surgery, both real and fictional, in some sort of hope of finding, something, anything, that will help me walk again. THIS is what this Claire woman with the gold Volvo station wagon did November 14, 2013... and made worse when she attacked the second time June 26, 2016. The Claire woman with the gold Volvo station wagon, not only murdered my son, she completely destroyed my life, my health, my ability to function on even the most basic levels. I can't walk, my baby is dead, there's a giant fucking hole in my yard that looks like a Moon crater, and I'm homeless because a fucking backhoe drove over my house. And because I was paralyzed for 5 months, and spent 18 months relearning to walk, and still can't walk on my own now 9 years later, I also have $20million in medical bills, which is why I can't afford to rebuild my house. In the meantime, some jackass with a green dump truck that has a black and silver striped nose, dumped hundreds of loads of garbage, actual literal black bags of garbage that he stole from the town dump, and dumped them in my yard. Do you know how much garbage he dumped in my yard? It was one hundred and seventy three feet long, thirty feet wide, and twelve feet tall… yes, the pile of garbage was 173 feet long, 30 feet wide, and 12 feet tall… and it cost me $12k March 2015 to have a garbage company come in and haul it away. What the fuck? And you know what the police said? They think this woman and her Mark buddy are having a fuel, but because she's convinced him that she is me, and he's never seen me, so he doesn't know she's not me, that the police think, he's the one doing all the harassing of me and my family, but he thinks he's harassing her and her family and doesn't know he's harassing the wrong people, because she gave him my address as her address. So, I'm being harassed by some guy who is a total stranger to me, because he's mad at some psycho bitch who was pretending to be me. And because of all this, I'm crippled for the rest of my life, my baby is dead, a backhoe drove over my house, and then on April 10, 2015 my 10 foster children were kidnapped, and then on May 15, 2025 there heads were nailed to the door of my big pink motor home. So, now not only am I homeless and crippled, but my family has been murdered as well, all because some bitch impersonated me spreading weird ass alien abduction lies, weird as transgender lies, and weird ass gay lies about me, because for some reason she thought that would get her my land, and in doing so, she passed off some guy who went psycho serial killer on me, while thinking he was attacking her. And so, two criminal ass thugs are funding with each other, and now I'm homeless and crippled and my family is dead, and the FBI is here now, and according to them, me and my family was never the target, me and my family got attacked by mistake because at the start of all this, some ufo nut, thought it would be funny to impersonate me and try to make it look like I believed in aliens, because this whole thing started because of some phoney ass alien abduction ufo haunted car hoax started by my uncle Bruce back in the 1990s, because he was mad, that Stephen King filmed The Thinner movie on my land, and my uncle Bruce was mad that he didn't get to be in The Thinner movie. All of this started because Stephen King filmed a movie in my yard almost 50 years ago, and an uncle of mine was jealous, so he had his sister, pretend to be me to start some crazy ass alien abduction rumors, her running around claiming she was me while claiming to be abducted by aliens, while dubbing my husband as "etiole" and "amphibious alien", because in their minds that was some kind of revenge porn for not being in a Stephen King movie, and they've spent almost 40 years running with their alien abduction hoax, adding more and more to it all time time, including to start calling me a transvestite... and then, these people who used to live in Utah, my uncle and his sister, come back here to Maine to run around spreading the alien and trans rumour on a local level around Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford, because, I have no ide why... they are just pure evil, and evil things like this are what hate filled evil people do. Jealousy and hate. That's what fuels her. Pure raw jealousy and hate. And my family is dead, my house is gone, and I'm crippled, all because some uncle of mine, whom I never even knew before any of this started, wanted to be in a Stephen King movie, and wasn't in a Stephen King movie and for some reason that was justification for all of this. I don't get it. The Atwaters are just hate filled, evil scum. You can't do something like this and be anything OTHER than pure evil scum. Buglight lighthouse is where my baby was murdered on November 14, 2013 by the Kendra Silvermander and Claire bitch duo... why would I want to go there? What the hell is she even thinking? Every one who knows me knows my baby was murdered at Buglight lighthouse the beach behind the art studio at Southern Maine Community College in South Portland, on November 14, 2013, the same event that left me crippled for the rest of my life. So why in the hell would anyone dare ask me to meet them at fucking Buglight lighthouse? How much more evil can you be? Update: February 19, 2023 ??? Weird. ... So, I just got a flurry of weird text messages… about FabeBook posts? I’ve not seen said posts, so I don’t know exactly what they says, but I’ll respond to the text messages about said posts: ONE... who is in my yard? It's certainly not me, I broke my pelvis a week before Christmas and haven't been out of bed in 3 months. There should never be anyone in either of my yards, not the one in Biddeford nor the one in Old Orchard... TWO... when did my cousin Danny die? First I heard of it. Last I knew he was living on a farm up by Heath road in Saco. I haven't seen him since a few years before the grease fryer bomb blew up my house, that happened on October 16, 2006... so it was sometime before 2004 last time I saw Danny. Didn't know he died. That's sad. I liked Danny. He was one of the few good Atwaters... Three, uhm, what garden? My land in Old Orchard is bare ledge. Not even any soil to plant anything in. It's been that way for nine years. When the backhoe drove over my house August 8, 2013, it also came in with a green dumptruck and strip mined my land, they stole all of my roses, apple trees, grapes, blueberries, and flowers, and took all the top soil down to over six feet deep, strip mined my farm down to bare shale and granite. It would cost over $three-million dollars to buy new top soil to replace what the vandals stole, and I don't have that kind of money, so I've not had a garden since, no vegetables, no flowers, nothing, can't plant anything on bare ledge.... so, yeah, weird, this latest rumor, which states I stole something from Danny's grave to put in my garden. Seeing how, I didn't even know Danny died and I also don't have a garden. ........... Update February 22, 2023 So, because I didn't know Danny died, people have started sending me these long lists of Atwaters whom have died since 2015... apparently there are well over 30 - thirty - dead Atwaters, none of whom I knew had died, and many of whom, I never even heard their names before. I'm told they are largely from the Utah division of the Scottish Traveller clans. But I did notice, half of the original twelve are dead? Is that true? No one told me any of this. I had no clue. It says here that uncle Peter and his wife, Bobby's wife Cathy, and even my uncle Brucie are all dead? When did all this happen and why did no one tell me? There a bunch of cousins, second cousins, and thrid cousins on the list too, but I've never heard any of their names before I have no clue who any of them are. There also seems to be some weird thing where they are saying no one ever told them my son was murdered November 14, 2013... my mother, my father, my step father Wade, aunt Barbara, uncle Dickie, uncle Brucie, cousin Danny, and Danny's wife Amanda all knew about this. Barbara showed up at the hospital and tried to get me to join her in some stupid ass medical scam she said she was running via her EMT job, she wanted me to be some poster child for some medical scam website she was running, she said she could get more money if she had a real cripple on her website. Dickie and Brucie were both at my Water St apartment the night it happened and they were mad that the police showed up to question my family and found them there with my daddy and some private detective, I don't know who the private detective was... according to the FBI agent in charge of the murder investigation, my dad hired the private detective to trail my mother and her then husband Wade, and Dickie and Brucie were helping my father with that. Barbara, Dickie, and Brucie were all at the hospital November 2013, when I was paralyzed. Barbara knew I was in a wheelchair, because in 2014, at Saco Shaw's, she stopped to talk to me, while I was shopping and in the wheelchair. I'm also being told most of them are claiming they didn't know a backhoe drove over my house. Uncle Joey in Australia, not only knew about the backhoe driving over my house, by the FBI has copies of the $600 wire he sent to the backhoe driver. My father is the one who forged the demolition permits, with some guy named Dan who I never heard of before. Also, you remember Barbara's ex Paul Martal... do you know what he's in prison for? FBI arrested him in 2016, for not one, but many bombs that he built, including the bomb that blew up my house October 16, 2006 and wait for it... the Boston Marathon bomb in 2013, he built it and sold it to ISIS. The Atwaters claiming they know nothing of the 2006 bomb, is a lie, considering the FBI arrested some of them for it. The Atwaters claiming they knew nothing of the backhoe driving over my house August 8, 2013, that replaced the bombed house, is a lie, because because Joey is the one how organized and funded it and he's going to straight to prison if he ever sets foot in America again, the FBI is ready to arrest him the moment he sets foot outside of Austraila. They have uncovered all the evidence they need to do so. Barbara posted the message on my FaceBook wall: "The next head nailed to a door will be yours", she posted that message May 14, 2015... the DAY BEFORE my foster children's heads were nailed to the door of my motorhome. I didn't know she posted that message... the FBI agent, had screenshots of it that he had made, he showed them to me in June 2016... I didn't know she had posted that on my wall. Yvonne and Shem, posted on my FaceBook wall more then two hundred pictures of themselves holding various guns, and on every post they wrote the words: "This is the gun I'm going to kill you with." Again, I did not see the posts, because I was in the hospital, paralized, I was paralyzed 5 months, I was 18 month relearning to walk... I've been bedridden for the last 9 - NINE - years... I found out about the death threats Shem and Yvonne were posting when an FBI agent, the one, who is now dead. Larua, she was murdered February 6, 2021... arrived, at my 6x8 tarp that I was living under in my yard... she arrived, with a huge stack of printed out screenshots of death threats posted by them, along with 27 FaceBook accounts all owned by Brucie, most of them using variations of Doris's name... all 29 of those accounts spent the entire of 2014, 2015, and 2016 DAILY posting death threats on my FaceBook wall, and often mentioned the November 14, 2013 murder of my son, the August 8, 2013 backhoe, and the April 10, 2015 SWAT team... the SWAT team being something I never mentioned online... also... the police department is in search of a VERY UNIQUE murder weapon that was used in the May 15, 2015 beheadings, and the crackhead Camilla, the cocaine dealer for the Bacon Street Gang, who is an Atwater, has been since October 2021 showing up on my Biddeford front porch to gibber about... that murder weapon... the police and the FBI never released to the public what the murder weapon was, because it is a VERY UNIQUE one of a kind hand made item. And yet, MANY of the Atwaters... 23 of them, showed up in my Biddeford driveway January 8, 2021 to gibber about that murder weapon while also chanting "God-King-Trump". January 15, 2021, a few days later, the fbi shows up with half the fucking plice department, here at my biddeford apartment, said they followed lucy and barbara up here from some attack on the president in washington dc and wanted to know if U'd seen them? what the fuck? I have no clue. I've not see Lucy since 1994 and I've not seen Barbara since 2013 the day she tried to get me to join her weird medical scam plot. But according to the FBI... they were watching my Twith livestream tht day, so they saw the "God King Trump" chanters, as did all of my viewers, I was live and my webcam faces the driveway window so, they were chanting "God-king-trump" on my Twitch livestream... according to the FBI, those 23 people were Lucy's crew and the had stolen stuff from the White House, and were carrying the stolen white house stuff while chanting in my driveway... the FBI wanted to know if I recgonined any of them, and I didn't, the FBI had tons of pictures of them, and I don't know who any of them were... but according to the FBI, they are the adult children of several of my cousins, via Lucy and Barbara's kids. What the hell? I am so sick and tired of the FBI showing up here and questioning me every few weeks, because of some fucking ass shit Barbaras family is doing, when I don't even know Barbara's family! I haven't babysat for her kids since I was 12 years old and that was fifty fucking years ago! Tell me, how do so many Atwaters have inside information about the murder weapon that was used to behead my ten foster children on May 15, 2015... when those police records are sealed, were classified by the FBI, and only me, 6 FBI agents, 3 police officers, and of course the murderer, know what the murder weapon was? I don't know who contacted the FBI... it wasn't me. I assume is was police officer Will Watson as he was the original head of the police investigation. And yet, I have many THOUSANDS of hate emails, hate snail mail letters - hand written and signed by Atwaters, accusing me of sending the FBI to "snoop in on them" as they put it. Good god! The FBI is over here interigating me 2 or 3 times a fucking month! The Atwaters act like they are the only ones who have to deal with FBI agents hanging around all the time! At least with me the FBI are here trying to help solve a crime, not interigating me of being a criminal... my fucking son was murdered! Atwaters bitching about the FBI questioning them, well maybe they shouldn't be posting death threats all over my FaceBook wall constantly none stop, the same week my sn was murdered, but that's what they are being questioned about. I never sent the FBI anywhere... I don't control the FBI, and anyone who thinks that is got some serious mental retardation issues. I didn't even know the FBI was actively going from Atwater to Atwater questioning them, and I wouldn't have known, had the Atwaters not been writing long hate letters and mailing them to me. My son was murdered in 2013... it was 3 years later, when the FBI showed up to talk to me, for the first time, and yet they informed me, they'd been on the case for three years at that point and had some pretty daming evidence, about one Atwater: Paul Martal, whom I've never met, didn't even know he existed... he got 14 years in prison for the 2006 bomb that blew up my house. But what the FBI wanted to know was: Why me? It appeared he didn't know me any more than I knew him. According to the FBI, Paul Martal was in heavy contact with 2 people, and the FBI believes it's one of them, who hired the golf club woman to murder my baby November 14, 2013... ...and the problem is, I've not mentioned it to the family, The Atwaters, so they don't know, not even my parents know, but on September 12, 2021, there was another attack. I've not released any details, nor have the police or the FBI, One of the biggest ones yet. The FBI pointed out one thing... the attacks stopped when one of te two primary suspects died. They said they had reason to believe the one, of the two suspects, whom they believe murdered my son, died... so how did the the September 12, 2021 attack happen? When that attack happened the FBI asked me to repaint paint my car: put the info from 2 different events, with the dates reversed, to see WHO would notice it was wrong. Someone DID notice it was wrong: Crackhead Camilla, cocaine dealer of the Bacon Street Gang, she showed up on my Biddeford porch less then ten hours after I painted my car. She noticed the incorrect date for the incorrect event... and she has said WHO told her... and it was one of the three people who arrived at the hospital November 2013... except, 2 of those 3 people are now dead, and the one she's naming, is the one still alive. Who is it, who runs around telling people I believe in aliens? That same person. I don't believe in aliens. I'm the one who proved aliens and alien abductions to be a hoax, did that in 2007, posted my findings proving aliens a hoax here: https://www.eelkat.com/AmphibiousAliens.html Who is it, who runs around claiming I say things about Utah Atwaters, people who I've never heard of, people I've never met? That same person. Whose husband is right now sitting in prison for building the bomb that blew up my house? That same person. Camilla was the bridesmaid of who? That same person. Who KNEW I was paralyzed for 5 months, 18 months in wheelchair, and 9 years serverly crippled, bedridden... but neglected to tell anyone in the family? That same person. Who is it, who is right now spreading rumors and lies about me, my brothers, and my mother, all over FaceBook? That same person. Do you know what gaslighting means? Look at what she's doing. It's called gaslighting. It means she is trying to cast doubt on the victims, in order to make the victims look guilty, as a way to try to hide, her own crimes. Ask yourself why you didn't know my son was murdered? Ask yourself why you didn't know I was attacked by a blond woman with a golf club, left for dead, almost died, and have been crippled on paraplegic levels ever since? Ask yourself why you didn't know I was paralyzed for 5 month? Ask yourself why you didn't know I was in a wheelchair for 18 months? Ask yourself why you didn't know my foster children, where not only murdered, but their heads were nailed to my door? Ask yourself why you didn't know when Barbara, Brucie, and Dickie were all at the hospital, and knew what had happened. Why didn't they tell any of you? Why did they pretend not to know? Why did they hide for the rest of the family, what had happened to me? Here's an important thing to ask: Why did none of you know the FBI was here investigating a very brutal murder that coincided with a LOT of harassment, vandalism, and hate crimes that were on levels of alarming extremes? It's called impeding and FBI investigation. Someone, in the Atwater family, has been very actively lying to all of you about what happened to me and my family... why? What is their motive? If they have nothing to hide, then why arethey bending over backwards to try to keep every one of you from finding out what happened to me, my son, my house, my yard, and my foster children? Only the person doing these crimes, who any motive to try to cover them up. Only the person who murdered my son, would have any motive to go out of their way to do everything in their power to try to make you forget he ever existed. Only the person who did these things has any motive, to try to cover it up. Only the person behind my son's murder has a motive to try to convince you I believe in aliens, when it's damn well documented that I don't believe in aliens. Think about that, next time an Atwater starts spreading rumors about me, my mother, my father, my brothers, my husband, my dead children, or my dead son. Also... who is it who told you that I knew about all these deaths in the family? Was it one of the three people who was at the hospital and knew what happened to me, but never told you all? Also, yes... I have noticed that Dickies supposed death date is a full 3 months before he was at the hospital, before he was visiting my dad with Brucie and and having a meeting with the private investigator about Wade Witen... that's puzzling... but then again Brucie had faked his own death 4 times since the 1980s, each time to invade IRS fraud, so the Atwaters do have a history of faking their deaths. I know this because the FBI has all that info too and when interviewing me, they wanted to know if I was aware of the faked death, by 3 of the original 12 Atwaters... yep, three of the brothers have faked their deaths multiple times. So... when you people tell me Dickie and Brucie are dead, yeah, I kind of don't believe you. Also, Barbara is the one going around telling everyone that Danny is dead and his grave is being vandalised... several people have told me that Danny is dead, his grave was being vandalised, and I a bedridden crippled, was being blamed for the vandalism, and I asked each of these people who told them this, and every one of them stated they recieved either a rtext, post, comment, email, or phone call from Barbara, some said she told them face to face in person... near as I can tell NO ONE other then Barbara os saying Danny died, no one other then Barbara is saying his grave is vandaised, and no one other then Barbara is saying I did it... also newsflash... my camera runs 24/7/365 ever since the day my foster children's heads was nailed to my door, so I can prove where I was and what I was doing every minute from May 16, 2015 to right now. The camera runs 24/7 in hopes of catching the murderer returning to attack again. Smile... if you've ever said anything to me online or offline, I have video footage of you doing it. In case you've forgotten who Barbara is, besides being Bruce's sister, she's the 2 year old girl who was run over by this car. https://www.eelkat.com/images/1964dodge330_theGoldeneagleWorldsMostHauntedCar.jpg My 1964 Dodge 330 the one that was cut in half on May 9, 2010 by raving lunatics of the Saco Ward church calling it demon possessed. She's the one who started the rumor that the car was haunted, possesed by a demon and tried to kill her. The car used to belong to Dr Larochell, who paid Barbara $20k to stop her from spreading rumors about his car. Her rumours about his car got so bad that locals started attacking him, so in 1975 he sold the car and I bought it specifically to prove that it was niether haunted demon possessed and Barbara was just delusional and trying to get attention. After I proved the car not haunted, I let a local elderly homeless man sleep in the car at night, while the car was parked behind my barn, 175 feet from the road in the forest where it could not be seen from the road, so no one knew the WW@ veteran was sleeping in my car... until that is, in 1978, Barbara tresspassed on my land, found him there, declared him first a demon, then in the 1990s started calling him "The Amphibious Alien"... Barbara is the only Atwater who ever learned French and guess what, she is also the one who coined the name "Etiole" and started calling the homeless WW2 vet "Etiole" and she is the one who has been vocal in instigating EVERY SINGLE attack on Etiole and my 1964 Dodge 330. Also, do take a look at Barbara... we look alike, she and me... we can almost pass for twins. And what keeps happening around locally? People keep saying they are encountering me doing and saing things in places I've never been to, to people I've never heard of! Also, every time I go outside, people - ttal strangers - keep coming up to me and asking me why I am emailing them stuff about aliens, and newsflash: I don't even use email! What the hell? I couldn't eail some one even if I wanted to! In November, this guy comes up to me, he's about 90 years old and carrying this massive stack of sheets of paper - like 300 sheets, it's an entire reem of paper, and he starts waving it around and says it's print out of all the emails I sent him just in the past week, he says he gets more then three thousand emails from me on a daily basis and it's all crazy stuff about aliens... I looked at the papers and, the emails are coming from tons of emails with the word "eelkat" in the name, but they aren't mine. I'm not sending these things out to people and I don't know who is... but I do know who has a history of impersonating me with emails: Barbara! In 1996, she started an email war with the Atwaters, with two emails, one that she said was heres, and one that she said was mine. At that point... I had never had contact with an American, or TV, or electricity... I had never heard of computers or internet or email... he email war, was her, impersonating me, and sending hundred of hate filled emails to my aunts, uncles, and counsins... I found out about it a year later when Bishop Paul Morgan of the Cape Elezabeth Ward (no, not the Portland Ward, but yes the same building) called me in to his office one day, to ask why I was sending so many hundreds of emails about aliens and alien abductions to him and 750 other members of the church. No that's not a typo... seven hundred and fifty members of the church... I had 3 questions for Paul Morgan: 1: What's email? 2: What are aliens? 3: What's alien abduction? I had never heard of those 3 things before. Paul Morgan had print outs of those emails, and it took me over a month to read those more then six thousand sheets of paper, but I read every one of them. Paul Peterson, administrative director of Pine Land Center Insane Asylum... he showed up at church a few weeks later, yeah... turns out, several Atwaters used to be, how shall we call it... straight jacketed in padded cells because they were insane... and Pine Land Center, government run mental health institute, lost funding, shut down, in... oh look... 1996... and literally just let formally straight jacket nut cases, walk free out the front door. It's not hard to find out who the inmates of Pine Land Center were... the micro films are available in New Gloughster. So, yeah, that evidance exists and says a lot. ALL of the rumors about me, my mother, my father, my brothers, my husband, my cars... all the Demon rumors, all the alien rumors, ALL of it... every single rumor, all the way back to the 1960s... all of them, were started by one person, Barbara, because, she was the 2 year old girl who was hit by that car, and she's pissed that I bought it, and she's even more pissed that Stephen King, my neighbour at the time, made a movie about it... did you know my real name is Christine and that's why the car is named Christine in the movie, even though the real car was named The Goldeneagle. After Christine, Stephen King returned to film Thinner on my farm, and THAT is why, Barbara, has had endless amounts of jealosue rage and hatred for my farm, my land, my house... did you know I've rebuilt my house 5 times now... the backhoe has driven over THREE houses on my land, we keep rebuilding and it keeps coming back... but before the backhoe there was the bomb... and who did the FBI arrest for building that bomb again? Barbara's husband Paul Martal. That's what he went to prison for. He built the bomb that blew up my house, the FBI found him with the bomb parts in his house and car. That's why, I always ask, when these weird rumors about demons and aliens show up... who told you? And EVERY SINGLE PERSON, EVERY SINGL TIME... they always say: "Barbara told me", "Baraba said it" , "Barbara called me" , "Barbara emailed me"... and so, I'm not surprised to find out that the rumors flying around this week, are once again, started by the same person who always starts them: the pissed off now adult, 2 year old girl, who 60 years ago was run over by the world's most haunted car, and is the one who both declared it haunted and dubbed the homeless man living in it as "Etiole" Know your sources people. Do your background checks. Find out if the one spreading the rumors about me, might actually have a motive. Barbara REALLY hates that car. And at the core, her hatred of that car, her rage that Stephen King made it famous, is the cause of everything. But guess what: Barbara and Brucie and their fucking endless jealose rage, is why I'm crippled, why my son is dead, why I've had to rebuild my house on my land five fucking times now... I'm not bothering any of them, I never have , and I don't know why they are bothering me! I want those bastards to fucking leave me, my family, my cars, my land, and anything else of mine alone. Uhm… okay… so, a member of the Sanford ward church was just in a rage yelling at me about the drug raid across the street last year at the missionary apartment and this being the 18th anniversary of the dead girl in the Scarborough marsh… and, I'm not sure why they are yelling at me about it…but they were mad saying: "Why is the FBI here talking to you about the dead girl in Scarborough. You aren't family." Uhm… no, but I am the one who found the body and called 911 to report it. And I've had to deal with police and FBi questions in regards to her death for the past few decades every single time they get a lead they show up and ask me:"So tell us once again what you saw." And I tell them yet again about the girl with no head, the thirty dogs with no heads, and that, I never saw her or the dogs before. I was driving to work and they were all laid out ritual like in the road, not a one of them had any heads. Not the girl, not any of the dogs. First experience with headless bodies… but far from the last. And police and fBi believe the killer was there and saw me call 911 and that's why my 75 pet roosters had their heads cut off and their bodies tied in rope nooses and hung in my Orchard fruit trees and rose bushes shortly after. I can show you where ever body was the girl and the dogs. The first one was at the Ross rd Portland rd intersection at the light by where the medical building is now. The next one was at the Eastern trail Bridge just before the rv center. There was another at the cascade rd intersection by the flea market... they continued like that all the way to the Scarbourogh marsh. All black dogs, mostly Rottweilers and black labs, more than 30 of them, leading in a path to the dead girl. None of them had heads. Not the girl or the dogs. It was after dark, I was on my way to Macy's. The fbi says they think it was the same person who beheaded my cousin Murphy in 2013, beheaded 75 of my roosters and hung them from nooses in trees in 2007, murdered my son in 2013, and beheaded my mother's cats in 2015... he says there were 11 other beheading like this between 2001 and 2015 all of them invloving a huge amount of pets, mostly dogs and cats, but also birds and horses… in title more then 500 pets just on Portland Ave in old Orchard beach alone, the first one was a German Shepherd in June 2001 whose head was hung on the bucket of his owners bulldozer, and there have been 7 more since 2015 to 2021, all on Portland Ave, Ross rd, and Cascade Rd. The dead girl in Scarborough had no head, neither did any of the dogs. I'm the one who called the police. I was there when they found Timmy Murphy on cascade and Ross rd intersection. He had no head either. My cousin Murphy, the newspaper said he was hit by a truck. But that's not what happened. I was there. Police made me wait 3 hours while they looked for his head. I got questioned all over for that. It happened June 2013. Backhoe drove over my house August 8, 2013, and golf club woman attacked November 14, 2013... fbi thinks the backhoe and golfclub attacks were both because I was there when Timmy's body was being wrapped up by police. The police found his head 2 weeks later down by my driveway on Portland Ave almost a half mile from where they found his body. They believe the killer of my cousin Timmy was at the scene while the police were questioning me, and that's how the killer knew to target my house with the backhoe a month later… the issue with that is, one of my uncles, paid the backhoe driver, but that uncle lives in Australia and wired the money to the backhoe driver. The police have all the paperwork for this. And the police can't figure out, why it appears that my Atwater relatives are heavily invested in impending the investigation of what police are calling "the Ouellette case". It appears the Atwaters are being egged on by someone involved in the murder of the headless Scarborough marsh girl, and that the Atwaters are being deliberately needled into a frenzy at me and my family in a bold attitude to through police off the killers trail. The thing is, the Atwaters have gone into wild extremes bringing in weird alien abduction rumors that are just outlandish… but then… one of my uncles, when the FBI went to interview him… he had dozens of dead, headless black dogs, black cats, and black chickens laying in weird pentagram ritual formations, all over his yard, in his driveway, around his house, hanging on his fences… and… well… dead headless black animals were all around the Scarborough marsh that day of the dead girl… and so… it kind of looks a lot like one of my uncles either is the murderer or at least is the one supplying the murderer with dead black pets. So, this lead the FBi to ask me more questions, because now it looks like the Atwaters lashing out at my family has a far bigger motive then, them just being crazy lunatic ufo nuts. I've been a witness at 4 different beheadings.. and was the one who called police each time. The raid at the Saco Ward missionary apartment across the street…I never said the raid across the street was a drug raid... the state drug force wasn't there. Ive seen drug raids before. My Atwater relatives are notorious for drugs, ive been in the house when two drug raids happened, one in 1982 and one in 2016 and both times the state police drug team was the one who did the raid. State police drug team wasn't there at the raid on the missionary apartment across the street last year, it the US Marshalls and FBI there. They had 8 people handcuffed face down in the road in front of our apartment. And they said it was about the Ouellette case, specifically the headless girl in Scarborough marsh. I know this, because thry asked me if i recognized any of these 8 people. One I did, she's been my dads nurse since 2009. Fbi was here asking me about that raid, because he wanted to know if the dead cats and birds in the road here in front of our Biddeford apartment were lined up same way as the dead dogs were back in Scarborough years ago with the dead girl. Me and others locally have been finding dead pets lined up on Main Street, western Ave, Cutts St, West Cutts st, James St, and Bradbury st every since summer 2021, I sent videos footage of all the dead pets to fbi, because it DID look like same ritual pattern used in my yard with roosters in 2007 and my mother's cats in 2015 and those dogs with the dead girl at the Scarborough marsh. That's why I stopped walking around our apartment at night... dead cats and birds are being set up around my apartment and also my mothers apartment... looks like whoever killed cats and roosters in Old Orchard, wanted me to know they knew where I lived. The officers think the person leaving the dead pets all around our apartment is whoever killed the headless girl at the marsh... they think that's why the attack on my roosters happened in 2007, the backhoe in 2013, the golf club women who killed my son and crippled me in 2013, because I'm the one who called the police about the headless dogs in Scarborough with the dead girl. Weird, this Sanford Ward Mormon, who was just here at my apartment, made the comment: "But the dead girl in Scarborough wasn't beheaded." I don't know if there's a different girl too or not. I only know about the headless girl, the one I called 911 about all those decades ago. I never looked up the news reports so I don't know if they ever mentioned the thirty dead dogs or her and the dogs having no head. I don't know what the news said about it. I don't even know her name. I just know whenever the police or FBI ask me to retell how the dogs were laid out, they always call it "The Ouellette Case". Beyond that I know nothing about it. My focus has always been on the attacks on me and my family. I don't know any of the other families. I just know the officers said the April 10, 2015 attack on my farm was the 11th such attack on Portland Ave since June 2001 and that they now tell me there have been seven more such attacks on Portland Ave since 2015. They said a lot of details have not been released to the public, but that there are a few common things recurring in every attack which indicates it's just one person (group of persons) doing it. They say they keep going back to all 18 of our families reasking us for details we can remember because they are trying to match up the similarities of each case. I know what details were left out of reports about the attacks on my family. I don't know anything about any of the other 17 families at all. I don't understand these Saco and Sanford ward church members who keep showing up all upset because I'm trying to find out who murdered my son and left me crippled. What is their problem? It's MY family that's dead, not theirs, what the fuck business is it of theirs? Why are they so damned ruffled up about me asking for anyone with information to call the FBI? By being upset like this, they are just making themselves look suspicious. When they are mad that I'm asking people for help finding the killer, they just make themselves look like they are involved, they make it look like they know who the killer is, they make it look like they are protecting and defending the killer. Do they not realize how suspicious they make themselves look when they get angry that I ask on Facebook for anyone with info to please call the FBI and help put my son's killer in prison? Do you remember Timmy? He's the same age as you and me. He's the one who lived at the black house next door to my on Portland Ave. He was the used car dealer, the one who always have a dozen or so cars lined up for sale across his front lawn. He also owned Etiole's swamp, my abutting neighbour from the back side of the land. He used to help me babysit Barbara's kids back in the 1970s and 1980s, we used to duo babysit together. Timmy Murphy was the one beheaded June 2013 at the Ross Rd and Cascaed Rd intersection. That's why I can't understand these Todd Murphy fucktrds who spent the entire of November 2021 to May 2022, daily arriving in my Biddeford driveway, chanting "Todd Murphy! Todd Murphy! Todd Murphy! Todd Murphy! Todd Murphy!" while vandalizing both the building and my car. They did $10k+ in damages to my Volvo and they did so much damage to the building that landlord Matt Holiday couldn't afford to repair the apartment building so he sold it because the city of Biddeford was going to condemn the building and kick out all 9 families at 409 Maine Street, because the Todd Murphy fucktard attackers did so much damage to the building. People know about them cutting all the wires off the building, but it was a lot more then that. They did huge amounts of stucture damage to the building itself as well. That's why Matt sold the building. He just didn't have enough money to repair the damages. But the thing was, these vandals were acting like they thought I knew who Todd Murphy was, and I never heard of anyone by that name before. I think they mixed up whoever this Todd Murphy was with my cousin Timmy... who is not an Atwater... what the fuck are the Atwaters even talking about? Timmy was my dad's older sister's god-son. My aunt Victoria from Portland? The one who lived in that big tower on the waterfront up on the Promanard. Why are the Atwaters so damned fucking arrogant that they think they are the only relatives I have? The Allens of Allen Ave in Portland are my relatives too you know, and Timmy Murphy was one of them. You know, the whole family who founded Amatos... the woman who founded Amatos was my dad's great aunt. That's why we always get free food at Atmatos, their family. The Atwaters don't hold a fucking monopoly over me, what the hell is wrong with them? You know, I'm sick of the Atwaters barging their way into everything and trying to make everything be about them. They aren't the center of the world and they need to stop acting like they are. Near as I can tell, these Todd Murphy vandals are conneted to the Atwaters somehow, but I don't know how. And again, they are impeeding a fucking FBI murder investigation. Do the Atwaters know how to do ANYTHING other then stick their busy body noses in places they don't belong? What the fuck? Do you know what the police said? They said Todd Murphy is the son of someone my mother and Barbar fight with on FaceBook. I've had my mother and Baraba both blocked on FaceBook since the shit they pulled back in 213 after my son was murdered. I don't have a fucking clue who my mother or Barbara are friends with on FaceBook, I have them blocked. I've had them blocked for 10 years this Novmber. But then, I have fucktards from the Sanford Ward church showing up here now, do you realize how far they have to drive to get here to my driveway? What the hell? And they claim that Todd Murphy was a member of the Sanford Ward... you know what he's not on the rouster. You know I'm a member of that church right? I got access to the rouster, because my husband is the high preist quorum leader of that church... there's no one named Todd Murphy who is a member of the Sanford Ward church, and there hasn't been in the last 48 years that I've attended that church. So now I'm left wondering, even more what the fuck? Who the ell is Todd Murhy and why the fuck should I care? I haven't got a clue what these people are talking about. I don't know who they are and I don't know who their Todd Murphy is. Only thing I can figure, is somehow, something my mother and Barbara said, convinced these people that when I talk about Timmy Murphy's murder case that I'm talking about Todd Murphy. But why? Was Todd Murphy murdered in 2013 of the Ross Rd in Old Orchard Beach, same as my cousin Timmy Murphy, who was also my abutting neighbor and had the same birthday as me, so we celebrated our birthdays together, you know because we grew up together and knew each other own entire lives? I mean, what the hell? And what does Todd Murphy have to do with The Ouelltte case aka the beheaded girl in the Scarborogh Marsh from 20 years ago? That's what they were talking about last night... thee Snford Ward members who were here in my ard in Biddeford last night, who yes, I do know who they are, but I don't know who this Todd Murphy is that they are talking about or what he has to do with my cousin Timmy Murphy and that girl, both being beheaded down the street from my Old Orchard Beach farm? I asked, no one in Timmy's family knows any one named Todd. None of my Scarborough or Old Orchard Beach Murphy relatives know or have ant relatives named Todd, so none of them, know what the fuck these people in Biddeford are talking about. You know just because someone has the same last name, doesn't mean they are relatede, right? Do these Todd Murphy people who won't stop hrassing us, and now clearly have a connection to the Sanford Ward realize that? And what is with Joel Bailey? What? Yeah... they're bringing Joel Bailey back into stuff? He went to prison in 2013, he, if you forgot was the counsellor of the Bisiop of the Saco Ward church, the entire bishiprisk went to prision, 2 to 10 years each one, along with the Old Orchard Beach Town Manager, oh wait, he was one of the bishipric, and 13 people from the Old Orchard Beach town hall and police departments, all members of the Saco Ward church, for stealing a little bitty number of thirty MILLION dollars in Old Orchard Beach tax funds out of the town hall bank account, which I only found out about, because they tried to forge my name onto the documents and that was why FBI Laura, the agent ho was murdered in Florida on Feberuary 6, 2021, was sent to interview me in 2007, 2010, and 20134... the Saco Ward church bishopric stole $30million from the Old Orchard Beach town hall and tried to pin it on me, only, I can't count, mI never learned math, and they didn't know I couldn't possibly have written the math figures. I don't know how to do money and only someone really good with money could have done the things they did. They also put a lot of stuff in Ken Shoop's name. That Joel Bailey, the one who is now out of prison and likes to walk circles around my Biddeford apartment all summer long in 2022. Yeah, I am aware he's back, the mini-Winnie RV that parks at the Biddeford High School at night, he is the one driving it. Given his past history, no, I'm not surprised at all to find his name bring brought back up. Though the Saco Ward Mormons now trickling out of prison and back on the streets, would explain why the vandalism started up again, seeing how they were the ones who used to do most of it and the vandalism did stop when they went to prison. I'm sick of the Atwaters and their Mormon friends. They're nothing but criminals, drug dealers, and gangster thugs. The fact remains, the only thing I'm focused on is finding my son's killer and the Atwaters and their Mormon thugs, are interupting that, and I want to know WHY? No one who is not guilty of being involved in my son's murder has any reason or incentive to be here harassing me and telling me to take the FBI phone number off my FaceBook wall, and that's what they are doing and I want to know why. What business is it of theirs if the FBI phone number is on my FaceBook wall and what is their involvment with my son's murder that they think the FBI phone number on my FaceBook wall effects them? Here's a weird one… I just got a text message from a Sanford Ward Mormon which states: "I've known you for 40 yeas I would remember you being attacked how come you never mentioned it before now" Uhm… since 1996, my website, originally known as Space Dock 13, has documented daily blog posts of every day of my life. The July 2, 2001 attack, when a house mover cut our house in half, put it on a flatbed and drove it to Waterville, was documented the day it happened. It was also the first attack. My neighbor's German shepherd dog was beheaded and left in the bucket of his bulldozer that same day. Go look at my blog… every day since July 2, 2001 , every attack, from the minor paintball attacks to the big house bomb attacks, are all documented, each blog post written the day it happened. There are more then ten thousand daily blog posts just on that one blog, chronologizing every event of every day of my life and including every attack, since June 2001. That fact that they only just noticed it now, does not mean, I've never mentioned it… it just means they were too self absorbed to notice anything going on around them. It also means I was never important enough to them, for them to notice I was homeless, or in the hospital, or had a baby that was murdered. … their shock of just discovering these things, says more about their lack of caring about me, then anything else. As for the headless girl and dogs in the marsh, the murder of my cousin Timmy Murphy, and the golf club attack ,the 3 events they specifically brought up in their text… I had Squidoo articles about all 3 events. Squidoo went out of business in 2014. I have more then a thousand blog posts published between 2007 and 2013, on Tumblr, BlogSpot, and WordPress, about those 3 events. On YouTube I had more than 2k video uploads between 2008 and 2017 that did absolutely nothing but talk about those events, and included the interrogations by police and Fbi, which I've recorded all of since May 2015. So, yes, you can go watch FBI agent Andy Drewer, lawyer Gene Libby in the Biddeford District Court, and police officer Will Watson, and dozens of others talking about these events, on YouTube, because my camera catches everything. Since 2008, I have posted daily on Facebook and Twitter asking for witnesses to come forward about the dead dogs and the marsh girl... Since June 2013, I added Tim Murphy to my daily Facebook request for witnesses to come forward, Since August 2013, I added the back hoe driving over my house info to my daily Facebook requests for witnesses to come forward. since November 2013, daily every single day requests for witnesses to the attack at phi theta Kappa ceremony at bug light lighthouse, where my baby was murdered and I was left crippled for the rest of my life. I'm still crippled by the way, are they going to tell me they didn't notice that either? Did they not notice I was 5 months paralyzed, wait I know that person noticed because in February 2014 that exact same person carried me to their car and from their car into the hospital precisely because I was paralyzed and couldn't walk…. The person who carried me to the hospital because I was paralyzed and had to be carried is the exact same person who is now saying they don't remember this… and yet, they are the ones who had to fill out the paperwork to admit me in the hospital and their signature is on those documents. So, proof they are lying, right there. after the June 2016 attack by the 2013 golf club woman, this time at walmart, the fbi gave me a hotline number for witnesses to call... this phone number has been on the flyers in the windows of my Volvo ever since June 2016 and these events are printed on said flyers. Also in June 2016 the Old Orchard Beach Libby library and the Biddeford McArthur library and the Old Orchard Beach Salvation Army Church all printed up flyers about these events, and spent the summer handing them out to tourists and the fBI number was on all of those. This is all very well documented as, I have been post them DAILY for over a decade now... and I talk about it constantly in my livestreams which I started doing in May 2015. Just because one person had their head shoved too far up their church's ass to know what was going on in their own family, and they only just now noticed what was going on around them, doesn't mean I only just now started talking about it. This is why I don't like churches. Church people are so focused on their Bibles that they haven't got a clue what's going on in the real world around them. Not to mention all of the police reports, there are more than four hundred police reports, which span twenty one police departments, in three states as well as the Maine state police and the Florida state police, plus the FBI besides! Most of those police reports are public record, you can go read them for yourself. As far as I know only 3 of them were classified and sealed from public access which means there's still 400+ that can be read. There were newspaper reports of some of the attacks. And even though I don't own a TV so have never seen the tV news reports, I know those exist because there were so many TV station news reporters showing up in my yard with camera crews asking for interviews with me. This case is so damned well documented. It's utterly ridiculous to think there is a single person in Southern Maine who is so self absorbed and so oblivious that they have never heard of this case or any of the events that have happened within it in the last 18 fucking years! But the worst part is, this my own church, a church I have been a member of for 48 fucking years, that is saying, they never heard of this! What the hell? There were more than 24 people from the Saco and Sanford Wards arrested by the FBI just since 2015, because of their involvement in this case. Several of them are still in prison. These people are really that oblivious that they didn't know I was in the hospital, they didn't know I was in a wheelchair, they didn't know my son was murdered, and they didn't noticed 24 members of their congregation disappeared because they went to prison for their involvement. Really? Wow do these people really give a shit about their fellow congregation members or what? They not only didn't notice I was missing from meetings for 9 years because I am bedridden now, they also didn't notice 24 other members not in meetings because they are now in prison. Talk about dense numb skulls. It appears the High Priest is back. You, Paul, have met the High Priest. You met him at WalMart. You met him at McDonalds, where you had a 4 hour long conversation with him. You met him my yard in Old Orchard when you visited a few days after the April 0, 2015 attack, and can I add here that you are the ONLY person since that happened, to ever once stop by and ask how I was doing, it’s you’re the only person I knew before the murder of my family, whom I still talk to. You ARE the only person, who ever showed you actually cared about what was going on. Not one single member of my family or my church has ever stopped to see how I was doing, has ever asked online how I was doing. But, since November 2021, Sanford Ward mormons have been showing up, all of them in wild raging infernos, and all of them talking about people and events I know nothing about, so I have no clue what any of them ae talking about, but they act like they think I know who the names they mention are, in particular they are cult-like worshiping someone names Todd Murphy whom I can only assume they have gotten mixed up with my beheaded cousin Tim Murphy of Pine Point district of Scarborough and Old Orchard Beach, somehow. They showed up near daily from November 21, 2021 until May 17, 2022. They were lead on by two blond girls who looked like twins, and have mega long knee-length hair they kept in pony tails, and a smaller pudgier girl with a mint-green pixie hair cut. I don’t know these girls, they looked to be in their 20s. They are the same girls who spent the entire summer of 2021 harassing the homeless man who was living under the trestle bridge across the street from us. They would show up on bicycles every night around 1AM, chase him up out of the ravine, then chase him up the old back tracks along the dirt road to South Street, up towards your place. They did that every night for about 5 months, until he got hit by a freight train on Nov 19, 2021 at 6:27PM. They started attacking my and my family Nov 21, 2021, I think because they knew I had video footage of them harassing the homeless man and I think too they were pissed that I call the police when they killed him by cornering him at the bridge overpass so he couldn’t get out of the way of the oncoming train. Outside of them nightly harassing the homeless man, and then spending Nov 21, 2021 to May 17, 2002 chanting “Todd Murphy” in my driveway while vandalizing my car and apartment building, I’ve never seen these girls before of since. They seemed to have completely vanished May 17, 2022. Not seen them at all and the vandalism stopped cold turkey that day. I assume the police must have finally caught and arrested them, but the police never said they did, and in the past when someone harassed me, the police would always ask me to go to the station to ID them after the arrest. In any case, the “Todd Murphy” dipshit bitches stopped harassing us May 17, 2022, and I heard no more of them, until this past month… only it’s not them showing up this time… this time it’s older people, elderly people in their 70s and 80s, members of the Sanford Ward Mormon church across the street from Curtis Lake Church… Curtis Lake Church being the congregation that shows up in my Old Orchard driveway with the “god hates fgs” signs and calling me a transvestite and calling my car gay, and marching around chanting “too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach”... several Curtis Lake members have been arrested by the FBI and gone to prison for their involvement in both the April 10, 2015 attack on my family and the headless Marsh girl. However, to date,, the killer has not been found, every one arrested so far has always been weird “cultist-like” gay-haters who are attacking people in the area while chanting “kill or be killed remember Saco Shaws” and then rambling gibbering about heads in ice cream. The people arrested, for 5 different local churches, are all outspoken in radically preaching a doctrine of beheading anyone suspected of being gay, while stating that they are doing so on god’s orders. That’s why there has been so much difficultly in finding out who killed the marsh girl and my cousin Murphry and my family, because, it looks like it’s not just one person, but rather an entire group of people involved, and so far, all evidence has pointed to those 5 churches: Saco Ward, Sanford Ward, Grace Point, Curtis Lake, and New Life, all in Biddeford, Saco, or Sanford, and all run by just 2 families. One family runs 3, another family runs the other 2. Anyways, I was just thinking, and I think I figured out why the Sanford Ward Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints members are seemingly so clueless and unaware that I have been crippled and bedridden for nine years and why they were unaware that 24 members of their congregation have gone to prison, arrested by the FBI for being accomplices in the The Ouellette Murder Case aka The Cascade Murders aka The string of beheading on and around Portland Ave, Ross Rd, and Cascade Rd the past twenty years, which included the headless girl I found in the Scarborough Marsh, my cousin Timmy Murphy whom I found headless on the Ross and Cascade Rod crossroads, the beheading of my own foster children… Ben is the common link to all of them. Ben, as you know, has severe dissociative identity disorder, that was brought on when his brother Willy commit suicide. Ben has seven different, very distinctive different “people” living in him, that we know of, there could be moe then 7. Etiole is the one most locals are familiar with, though he does not call himself Etiole, Etiole being a name locals dubbed him. However, there is the High Priest, who is the one you, Paul, are personally most familiar with. I’ve not seen the High Priest since April 10, 2015. Ben WAS there the day of the attack, he was also attacked… the attackers had me, my mother, one of my brothers, and Ben, all on the ground with guns to our heads, while they use a weird looking long pole with a piano wire-like loop on the end, to cu the heads off of everyone else who was there. Me, my mother, one of my brothers, and Ben, were the only ones to walk out of that attack alive. Ben’s favorite daughter Bella was one of the ones beheaded. His mind snapped, because, he recognized one of the attackers as “Rick”... When the attackers arrived, Ben ran up to one of them and said “Rick! What are you doing here?” Ben does have a friend named Rick… I know Rick. Rick is a very violent, vicious spouse abuser. His wife Paula used to come to church been to a pulp every week. Broken arms, broken legs, broken nose, black eyes. It went on for years. She finally divorced him and fled to Utah when he beat and nearly killed their teenage son. Rick has beaten me up, right in the Sanfard Ward church building. He’s a major bully, a huge bigot, and an extreme white power racists. Rick WAS there April 10, 2015… he didn’t have a white pillow case over his head like the rest of them did, but I don’t kow if he was a part of the attack or not, I was too busy trying to fight the bastard who was holding me own with a pistol in my face, to notice what Rick was doing. It was Rick though, his face in unmistakable… he has no face. Elephant man disease, I think you cal it, but you can’t mistake Rick, and he WAS in my yard April 10, 2015 the day my family was murdered, I just don’t know what he was doing there or if he was involved in the attack or not. The thing is, something snapped in Ben that day. ALL 7 of his multiple personalities vanished, including the High Priest, thankfully. You know how bad the High Preist could get, you met him several times. Ben left the Mormon church. I don’t know what triggered him more: his favorite daughter Bella being beheaded in front of him or his best friend Rick, seeming to be the one leading the charge ahead of estimated 74 people in white robes and white pillow cases over their heads. In either case, Ben has developed a server hatred for the Mormon church and refuses to set foot in a Mormon church building… he who was High Priest Quorum Leader of the Sanford ward for so many decades. The thing about the High Priest, was he was everything so far the opposite of who Ben, my husband, actually is. The High Priest Quorum Leader of the Sanford ward boldly proclaims to be a virgin. Ben in not a virgin. Not even close. He had a prostitute problem back in the 1980s when I met him. The High Priest Quorum Leader of the Sanford ward boldly proclaims to not be married, yet Ben and I got married on the Old Orchard Beach Pier August 13, 1987, so he’s been married several decades and still is, we don’t live together because he’s terrified of the Bishop finding out he has a wife. Keeping in mind Mormons don’t forbid priests from marrying, however Ben grew up extreme strict Catholic and his brother is the current leader of Opis Dia and he has to keep up appearances of being a Catholic Priest for his brother, from times when he visites from Italy, which happens a few times a year. Ben became a High priest in the Mormon church, but then goes to several local Catholic churches when his brother is in America, so that he can say he’s a High Priest without lying about it, and keeps his brother thinking he’s Catholic High Priest when he’s actually a Mormon High Priest. In other words, Ben lives a very big double life of trying to juggle his priesthood in two religions, hiding it from each other religion, while also maintaining a (very annoyed) wife (me) that he hides from BOTH religions. Which is WHY, I’m allowed to PUBLICLY be friends with you, because it helps him to keep up the facade of “see, I’m not married, she hangs around with Paul”, which yes, that IS what Ben tells people at church about you. Yes, Ben is a dick, I am very aware of this. But, here’s the thing… Ben TELLS ME he is no longer in contact with any Mormons whatsoever, claims he hates, them, claims he shuns them, claims he’s not spoken to any of them since April 10, 2015…. HOWEVER… he was caught in July 2022, giving one of the Sanford Ward Mormons a ride to the store…. And Rick specifically, has been one the phone with him, when I came in the room and he thought I was elsewhere, causing Be to run around in a panic, knock his glasses off, break them by stepping on them, all while Rick was screaming out of the phone, “Ben, ya there? What happened? What’s going on?” It appears the High Priest is back…. However, I suspected this in November 2021… the High Priest uses specific pontificating phraseology that none of Ben’s other personalities use…. And on november 24, 2021, the same night the Sanfard Ward Mormons were here cutting the wires off our Biddeford apartment building, Ben started talking like the High Priest again. It’s really distinctive. Normal people don’t talk in long winded drawn out droning, monologuing pontifications about Jesus, and of Ben’s 7 known people living inside him, the High Priest is the only ne who does this. Ben was here and witnessed the wire cutting event, he even went out side and talked to the crowd of “Todd Murphy” chanting lunatics to try to talk to them… and,... he said one of them is Todd Murphy’s grandmother from the Sanford Ward. Ben indicated at that point that he knew who Todd Murphy was, but since then, has denied knowing who Todd Murphy is. But, he came in, and told me outright that “I know her from the Sanfard Ward, she’s Todd Murphy’s grandmother”.. Each of the 7 people who live in Ben have no knowledge or memory of the other 6, and when one of the 7 does or says something, none of the other 6 have any memory of doing or saying those things. It appears that The High Priest knows Todd Murphy, not only that, but also knows the attackers who came here daily from November 21, 2021 to May 17, 2022… and it looks like Ben, in his High Preist version of himself, is the one who told them where I live and is the one who worked them into a frenzy to begin with. I have video footage of the homeless man who died Nov 19, 2021… a LOT of it. He knew Ben. That was obvious. Me and Ben were walking Main Street every night the summer of 2021 and the homeless man from under the trestle bridge would stop to talk to us a few times a week. And those weren’t just videos, those were Twitch livestreams so everyone watching my channel saw this homeless man stop and talk to Ben… he said he knew us. I did not recognize him, but Ben… I don’t know… Ben acted like he did know the homeless man, but didn’t want me to know it, so he told the homeless man he was mistaken. But people around local are saying that thie homeless man who kept showing up in my videos IS Todd Murphy, they say they saw my videos and it was Todd Murphy in my videos. I am finding this whole thing very confusing… because NOW… even though I have video footage of Ben talking to the homeless man, Ben now claims, he never saw the homeless man at all and tells me I’m delusional. That's what he said: Ben said: “Your delusional, there was no homeless man” and, yet hundreds of people, many of them local, saw those videos of Ben talking to the homeless man. Which means, the man Ben was when he was walking with mt summer 2021,is NOT the man he is right now… and… either this a new 8th personality Ben has recently developed, or, it’s the High Priest back, but being deliberately sneaky to try to hide the fact that he’s the High Priest… which is odd, because before now, NONE of Ben’s multiple personalities have ever showed any signs of acknowledging any of the others, and the High Priest trying to high he’s the High Priest by trying to act like a different person, indicates the High Priest DOES remember and IS AWARE of the other personalities. As you are well aware, I HATE the High Priest. I want nothing to do with him. I never would have married Ben if I had ever encountered his High Priest alter ego before marrying him. June 26, 2016… FBI Agent Andy Drewer asked me to meet him at his Portland office on Middle St. He had… info. And a new primary suspect. Ben, specifically his High Priest alter ego, is the FBI’s #1 suspect in being the inforat, who told the golf club attackers I was at BugLight Lighthouse November 14, 2013. The FBI has phone records. I told only 3 people, where I was going that night: my mother, my father, and Ben. I told them only 5 minutes before I left, because I had been sick earlier and had previously told everyone I was not going to that event at the college. According to the FBI, my parents and step father Wayne Whiyyen, never left Biddeford, they continued to argue all night, and the FBI knows this because my father had hired a private investigator to tail Wayne, and so they have a lot of evidence as to where 2 of the 3 were. Ben on the other hand, called his friend Rick, the same Rick who was in my yard April 10, 2015… Minutes after I left my dad’s Water St apartment and drive to Southern Maine Community College, November 14, 2013… Ben called Rick. Rick drove to Ben’s house. And the two of them together left. FBI Agent Andy Drewer had one question: “How well do you trust Ben? Because right now, he’s our primary suspect.” They believe Ben told Rick, I was pregnant with someone else’s baby and Rick is the one who sent the golf club women to deliberately kill my baby. Why do they believe this? Because between 1987 and 2013 I have had 7 miscarriages, something that can be proven… Ben ins the only man I’ve ever been with. It’s not possible for anyone else to be the father. This was my 8th pregnancy by Ben and he was at the time running around accusing me of cheating on him with Etiole. The thing is… he IS the one people call Etiole… but his D.I.D. means he things Etiole is someone else, he doesn’t believe its him, because none of his personalities have any memory of each other. Ben is a total nightmare to live with because I never know from one day to the next, who the hell he is going to be that day. Ben has denied every pregnancy. Why? His exact words are: “I wouldn’t. I am a High Priest. What would the Bishop think?” According to the FBI too, Ben, behind my back, runs around from one LDS/Mormon congregation to the next tell people that I am quote: “An unrhightious, unfaithful aunty-Mormon who puts the church down.” Interestingly, I have been a member of the Mormon church since 1975. Ben joined in the 1980s. Ben left the church in 2015. I am still a member. My FATHER is an extremist anti-Mormon, who preaches hatred for the Mormon church. Not me. Kenny, my father, is the anti-Mormon. My father, is such a huge radical extremist anti-Mormon that he has gone on to convince my mother, a 5th generation Mormon who is related to one of Smith’s poly-wives, to leave the church. She left the Mormon church in 1994 and joined up with some anti-Mormon group lead by some woman named Tanner or something. My mother, took her anti-Mormonis to extremes far above and beyond my father, taking to FaceBook and a forum called exMormon something and went total psycho nutjob anti-Mormon conspiracy theory all over the internet through the late 1990s into the 200s and still does it to this day now in 2023, preaching her wild anti-Mormon conspiracy theories now 27 years. In 3 years it’ll be her 30th anniversary of her wild mega hyper anti-Mormon rampage, with my father cheering her on and needling her forward the whole way in a weird Bonnie and clyde style vendetta attack everyone who is a Mormon hate fueled bigotry. I on the other hand, am still a Mormon, have never had anything to do with the anti-Mormon movement, and, was shocked to learn from the FBI, that, the anti-Mormon rumors about me online are massive, and spread largely by members of the Saco and Sanfard Wards, with their info being just misinformation they regurgitate after talking to Ben, my mother, or my father. Apparently, because I am bedridden and crippled, since 2013, and thus have had no way to get to church these past nine years, this, my absence in church meetings, after 48 years of never once missing a meeting, has allowed my mother, my father, and Benn to be able to spread wild anti-Mormon rumors about me, with the 3 of them going to my church, the Sandford Ward, and telling the church leaders that I’m not in church because I’ve turned anti-Mormon. And yet, it is Ben who is the biggest anti-Mormon of all… he’s actual friends with that Tanner woman. My parents only run around preaching the Tanner woman’s message, Ben, actually sought her out and became personal friends with her and helps the Tanner woman one on one…. And he brags about this all the time. I’m sick of hearing all the anti-Mormon Tanner woman bullcrap from Ben and my father and my mother so, whenever any of the three of them start chiding me for being a Mormon and telling me how evil and deceived I am because I refuse to leave the Mormon church, I just put my headphones on and listen to Markiplier YouTube videos and, ignore them. I don’t hate the Mormon church like Ben, my mother, and my father do, so I am fed up with them constantly bitching at me because I’m a Mormon. Which is why I’ve not spoken to my father in 3 years even though we live in the same apartment, and was a contributing factor to why I blocked my mother on FaceBook in 203 and have had no contact with her at all offline since… though that hasn’t stopped her from showing up, trespassing, and hounding me. Ben, is far worse then my mother or my father combined… since 2015, he has hand written thousands of anti-Mormon letters to every church leader he can find, local, not local, all the heads in Utah… and he bought a dozen cases, each case with 144 books in it, cases of Ket Kerr’s books and daily mails them out to every member on every rouster list of every ward in the Exiter and Augusta stakes, using his position as High Priest Quorum leader to get the home addresses of every Mormon in Southern Maine and New Hampshire, mailing all of them aunty-Mormon letters and copies of Kat Kerr’s books. Ben, as you know, has more money then he knows what to do with, and right now, he’s spreading thousands of dollars every day, just on the postage stamps to mail Kat Kerr’s books and his anti-Mormon letters to every local Mormon he can find. And so, I knew he was mailing out the Kat Kerr books… but, until FBI agent Andy Drewer told me, I did not know that Ben and my mother and my father, having been putting MY NAME of the letters they are mailing out to people, and the three of them, through impersonating me, have got my church, the Sanford Ward, and it’s sister church, the Saco Ward, 100% convinced that I stopped attending church because I’mm now an anti-Mormon who hates the church, and that’s why my church, the Sanford Ward, and it’s sister church, the Saco Ward, are both unaware that I have NOT left the church, but rather I’m bedridden and crippled and have no one to help me get to church. And so, now I’m finding out, that Ben, my mother, and my father, working together, according to the FBI, seem to be the fuel that is, and has been for several years, the fuel working locals up into a frenzy… including, they are the ones who are getting the Atwaters riled up, my being an Atwater, and the Atwaters further fueling locals on top of what Ben, my mother, and my father are doing. What is their motive? I ask them. My father says he’s doing it to impress my mother so she’ll remarry him. My mother says she’s doing it because I need to sell my land and give her the money so she can buy a house in Kennebunk. Ben says he’s doing it because Mormons are led astray by Satan and he has to save my soul from Hell. I’m so sick of all of them. You know, one of the things I find most weird about the Atwaters is that so many of them seem to think I know them, even though I have never met them, nor even know any of their names. Of the original twelve, I have only ever met five of them. And while I know Danny, I don’t even know the names of his siblings. I met Angelia once when she was twelve, at a Halloween party at the Cape Elizabeth Ward LDS Church, and then I saw her for about 2 minutes before she left. And Danny I only met when I was 37 years old and I only saw him about 10 times, back when my mother was trying to scam him out of his money from being hit by a train… which I didn’t know that was why she was visiting him, until a few years later when she had a big rant about how she wouldn’t visit him any more because he was, in her words “stingy and greedy” because he refused to give her the money to “use as a downpayment for a house in Kennebunk”. I should have known that was why she was visiting him, as that’s the only reason she ever does anything. She’s obsessed with trying to by that $3.7million mansion by the Wedding Cake House, and has been trying to scam relatives out of money for a downpayment on it for decades now… it was her reason for her involvement in the backhoe that her brother Joey hired to drive over my house. She and Joey figured I’d sell my land if there was no house on it. They didn’t exect me to set up a lean to made out of a 8x6 tarp and just spend the next 9 years living under that. I met Doris once when she was squatting illegally on my land back in 1996. Took me and the Old Orchard Beach Police 9 months to get them out. I only ever saw her one day. She had 4 military tents, the size houses, 2 Winobegos and a Cadillac, that they illegally dumped on top of my corn crops, along with more then 600 bicycles, and 2 school buses full of sawed up copper pipes. Took us 9 months to find out who in the hell was living there and dumping that garbage on m land, and it turned out it was Doris. Only time I ever saw her, was one day, for about 15 minutes. I remember Micheal, Tonya, and Scotty from before the caged years, but, I was put in the cage hen I was 8 years old, so I’ve not seen then since I was 8. Once every year, usually on September 19th, David and Lucy would show up with a herd of incredibly violent gun toting vandals who would go through our farm and use shovels to chop the heads off all our pet cats, dogs, hens, ducks, and roosters. They were kill 200 to 500 of our pets every year in this anuel bloodbath on my farm. I don’t know who the hoodlums were. David said they were his kids, but he also said he had 15 kids and there were WAY more then 15 people involved in the annual Sptember 19 boodbaths… way more, closer to 100. Brucie said once that it was not JUST Davivd’s kids, but also a group known as The Halls. I don’t know who any of them were, but the police showed up every time, trying to get them out, and they always had huge shootouts with the police every year. It’s why I have a massive phobia of guns. A bunch of them were arrested in 1982, when that time the state police drg team showed up and arrested them and confincasted meth, marhawana, opium, and LSD I know Dickie, Brucie, David, and Barbara because they were the ones that helped my mother build that room, that they locked me in when I was 8 years old, right after my Grammy Hellen Ricker’s funeral. They kept me in there for 27 years. One of the 4 of them would show up every 12 days to throw rotted molded food in the cracks between the boards. They are the only 4 Atwaters I know, and I only know them from their weekly coming into the room to beat me up, torture me. They are the five who raised me and said I was not Human, said I was a Demon and that I wasn’t allowed out of that room because Demons weren’t allowed to have contact with Humans. I was 12 years old when the High Priest found out about that room, and he took me out every Sunday to go to church, and then took me back to that room after. No one ever told me I was a Human and was allowed to go outside or talk to Humans until the social workers showed up when I was 31 years old. They are the ones who started using the term “feral child” to describe me and they to this day are still trying to “integrate me into Human culture” but two of them say they have given up on trying to convince me I am Human, they say there is little chance of my mind ever fully grasping the concept of being human because it’s too difficult to undo the three decades of Brucie, David, Dickie, Barbara, and my mother doing their “child social experiment” (as the social workers call it) to raise me to believe I was not human. They said the bigger problem is the fact that almost immediately after I was rescued out of that room/cage they kept me locked in for 27 years, the 2006 bomb blew up my house, which the FBI says it was Barbara’s husband Paul Martel who did that, but I don’t know why, as I never met him or even knew about him prior to the FBI arresting him, and the backhoe arrived to drive over my house 5 different times over the next 10 years, same back hoe, same yard, different house each time, as I kept rebuilding houses. Then I found that headless girl in the marsh with all the headless dogs and the FBI thinks one of the Atwaters did it seeing how the headless dogs were lined up in a row from my land to the march, each dog about 500 feet apart (for some reason the Saco and Sanford ward church members forget my land in Old Orchard abuts the Scarborough Marsh and is right on the edge of OOB bordering Pine Point in Scarborough. And that the dead girl in the Scarborough marsh was literally only a few hundred feet away from my driveway… they keep asking why I am obsessed with the Oulette Case, but they forget I’m the one who found the dead girl in the Marsh and that she was set up in a friging ritual pose, practically on my front lawn AND the FBI thinks the whole thing was done in some weird attempt by the Atwaters to frame me, so that I would go to prison for murder and they culd take my land… which it’s always my land and the Atwater obsession with taking it that is at the core of everything) But in any case, the social workers say that because these events were my very first interactions with Humans, that it instilled in me an psychosis effect of further belief in not being human because I had trouble accepting the fact that I am the same type of creature as the monsters humans are, because, yeah, all I’ve ever seen from humans is death, bloodshed, violence and distruction. I have no reason to WANT to be integrated into a society that leaves headless dogs and headless girls in my front yard. But then 2013, came along…. Social workers got me into college in 2010, in an attempt to show me that ONLY the Atwaters were shitty bloodthirsty bastards and that MOST humans don’t drop dead headless animals all over their houses and yards the way the Atwares do. And they were right. Humans in college were nothing like the Atwaters and their drug dealing, petty thieve, ganster thugs. The social workers and police keep telling me that this sort of behavior is not normal and that it is ONLY something the Atwaters and their friends do, that normal humans don’t act, do, or say the things the Atwaters do. But then, I’m constantly running into people who make the claim to “know all about” me and they will spout off this weird freaked out stuff about witchcraft and curses and spelcasting and aliens and ufos and, I’m left totally clueless because I don’t know a single thing at all about witchcraft or curses or spellcasting or aliens or ufo, and I can’t figure out why these people think I have the faintest idea what the fuck they are even talking about. They’ll say they thought I was some expert in casting curses and say they want to hire me to cast curses on people, and they act like spell casting is some sort of job I do. I don’t know heads or tails about spell casting. They’ll say, “But your the sea witch of Old Orchard Beach”... yeah, people have been calling me that ever since Stephen King filmed Thinner on my land back in the early 1990s, but, I’ve never read a Stephen King book or seen a Stephen King movie, not even Thinner, so, I haven’t got a clue what is in his books and movies. All I know is he based some “Gypsy witch” in Thinner off me, because I’m the “Queen” (aka Priestess) of a local Gypsy clan. A Gypsy Queen is similar to a Catholic Nun in the Folk Catholicism of Mexico and has nothing to do with witches, witchcraft, spells, or curses, so I don’t know what the fuck Stephen King did in the Thinner movie to make people think I’m some kind of spell casting witch, but, people seem to have trouble understanding that the Thinner movie is FICTIONAL. I’m not a witch and I don’t know the first thing about witches or witchcraft. I haven’t got a clue how to cast spells or curses. And I can’t figure out why so many total random strangers think they can walk up to me at WalMart or Rotary Park or the library and demand I cast some curse on someone for them. But, when these people do this, and it happens EVERY SINGLE TIME I go outside, which I have agoraphobia, so it’s sometimes weeks or months between my setting foot outside, every single time I go out, some one always identifies me as a witch and watches a curse cast. At the same time I’ve got these UFO nuts constantly coming up to me asking me this or that about some weird ass alien ufo idea, and I never have a clue what they are talking about, They use all sorts of weird ass words and phrases that I’ve never heard before and gibber on like another language which I can’t understand… but then they act all surprised that I don’t know the meanings of the words they are using, and they’ll say: “But I thought you were supposed to be a top expert on UFOs and alien abductions” and I’m like what the hell are they even talking about and how the hell would anyone in their right mind come to think that I would believe in ufos or aliens, when I think people who believe in ufos and aliens are raving lunatics, my uncle Brucie being a perfect example of a raving lunatic who believes in aliens and ufos. I don’t get it. But then, every time this happened, and it just happened again today, because, as you know I’ve not received any mail since May 2022 and I went to the post office yet again today to once again ask where the hell is my mail… and low and behold, I can’t set foot outside without some alien believing, curse believing freak ass weirdo nutjob showing up to ask me to put a curse on someone while gibbering about ufos. I ask him, where the hell did he get the ludacris idea that I was a witch, that I cast curses, or that I believed in aliens, nd he said: “Well, your mother says on FaceBook…” yeah, my mother is a freaking nut, which is why I’ve had nothing to do with her in decades. She’s a white power freak who runs around calling black people the n-word, is part of the anti-vaccer micro-chip in vaccines conpreracy theory, wouldn’t let me or my brothers go to school because in her words “the government controls the schools, and satan controls the government”, SHE spends 90% of her time running around putting curses on people, all she does is talk about whores and demons, demons and whores, every other word out of her mouth is either demon or whore. And the only time she ever shows up its because she’s trying to pul yet another lame ass scam to try to steal my land because she hated my grandmother and says it’s her life duty to destroy everything that”ever bolgned to that old bitch of a whore” including the farm I inherted from gramy Helen. My mother is spiteful, violent, vindictive, and has a police record for running around beating people in the face with bricks. On top of all of that she’s chronic liar and I’ve never heard a truthful word come out of her mouth. I am well aware that my mother is the source of 90% of the problem, simply because she’s the biggest fucking gossip in Southern Maine, after he sister Barbara, and the two of them are rather famous all over Maine for thei trouble they have caused HUNDREDS of families. They are petty Karens who devote every minute of their lives to making up vicsious rumors and lies about every person they see, both people they know and people they don’t know. And thanks to the FBI investigation into the murder of my on, I’ve found out a LOT about both my mother and Barbara and the bizarre, outlandish extremes they each have gone to in their petty vindictivness. But the fact remains, I’ve not had contact with either of those bitches in several decades, precisely because I am sick and tired of their endless hate for everything and everyone around them. They both do nothing but gossip and lie, lie and gossip, and run around like a couple of teenage brats making a game out of seeing who they can hurt next … they fucking brag about it and spend hours laughing over how fun it is to destroy families. It doesn’t take any level of intelligence to see that the dynamic trio (Barbara, Brucie, and my mother) are the source of every damn rumor about everyone in York County, Maine. It’s such a big problem that I’ve had people come to my apartment and ask me if I could ask my mother and her siblings to leave their family alone. The fucking Biddeford Police have stopped by my apartment to ask me if I could do anything about my mother, that’s how I found out it was HER who knows Todd Murphey, because the police came right out and told me that my mother has been harassing Todd Murphey’s ex-wife and 15 year old son on their FaceBook accounts and wanted to know if I could ask her to stop. No. I can’t. And you know why? Because when I asked her to stop spreading witchcraft and curse casting rumors about me, she arrived the next day and cut my car in half! The 1964 Dodge 330… she said it had a demon in it and she had to kill the demon by killing the car. What the fuck? She’s fucking insane! And worse… half the time, these people will tell me some name I never heard of. Say this or that person told them I was a witch who cast curses or was some alien expert, and I’ll ask them who the hell is that, and they’ll say: “Oh that’s one of Brucie’s kids” or “David’s kids” or a grandkid… and I’ll point ou that I’ve NEVER EVEN MET Brucie's kids or Davids kids or ANY of the rest of the Atwares. There are more then four hundred Atwaters, and I’ve meet EXACTLY SEVEN of them in my life time. I don’t even know the names of all the original twelve, let alone the names of their kids or grandkids… why would I? Most of them live in Utah and I’ve not set foot outside of Maine for nearly SIXTY YEARS! I’ve never in my entire life even talked with an Atwter, not face to face off line, not online. Because I’ve never even seen pictures of any of the Atwaters, I wouldn’t even know an Atwater if I saw one! And yet, they run around spouting off things I supposedly said or did, and make the claim I’ve talked to them… and I’m just left wondering who the fuck is running around talking to the Atwaters while pretending to be me, because I don’t even know who the Atwaters are! Clearly, there is someone out there pretending to be me and the Atwaters think they are talking to me, but they are NOT talking to me, I’m not talking to them, and I want to know in the the fuck is running around pretending to be me? Its so damned fucking obvious the Atwaters don’t know one iota about me, just by the level of the ludicrous witchcraft, curse, alien, and ufo lies they spread around about me! I should be able to go to my post office, go shopping, heck just walk down my driveway to get my mail, without being bombarded with stupid ass freaks gibbering about witches, curses, demons, aliens, and ufos! I am so damned sick of my mother and her fucking Atwater relatives… You know, another thing that’s fucked up about all this and again is my mother running around lying her ass off to hell and back, yet again… is this whole situation with HER cats. The attack on my family, happened the same day as the whole thing with her cats, and she is so obsessed with the cats, that she has gone out of her way to run around telling people that when I talk about April 10, 2025, I’m talking about HER cats… but, in order to further promote that lie, she also tells people they were MY cats! What the fuck? You know that Nick guy my mother sleeps around with? The one she broke up his marriage, convinced him to leave his wife and kids down in Mass and move up here to Maine, because she was scamming him… the guy she stole his credit card and went and bought that shed she put on my land, and bought those $2k dogs with, and bought those appliances with, and bought that tractor with, before that Nick guy found out she stole his credit cards? Him. Did you know, she convinced him that she owned MY land in Old Orchard Beach, and she tried to get him to join her scam, and pretend he was a real estate agent, and my mother and her pimp Nick tried to sell my land last year… and this is not the first time she’s done this. Did you know, that in 2007, she went to the town hall, pretending to be me, had them divide my land into sections, and then sold one section? That’s why Don Cooliard and his sister have a house in my driveway now… something they built in 2019… and it was when they built the house in 2019, that was when I found out my shit face mother and her jackass whore master Nick, sliced off a peice of my land in 2007 and sold it! I had no idea they had done it! That’s the kind of shit faced scum bag scam artist my mother and her fuck buddy Nick are! But it gets worse. My mother had 83 cats… eighty three cats. And she was hiding 113 of them in an apartment owned by this Nick scammer. He found out she had cats in her apartment… guess what day… April 14, 2015. The day before the attack on my farm. Here’s a thing… did you know there were no locks on the doors of my motorhome? Not one. I bought it February 21, 2012, and first thing I did was took all the locks off, because I have a PTSD phobia of locks, after my mother kept me locked in the room cage thing for 27 years. And yet… when the vandals showed up with a Blow Brothers sewage truck to fill my motorhome with 500 gallon of raw feces, they had to pry a padlock off the door to get inside. A padlock, that I did not put there. Do you know how that padlock got there? My mother put it there the night before, when she took HER thirteen cats, and shoved them in my motorhome, without telling me she was doing it… because she had to hide them from Nick. People often ask, why, I a professional artist whom has had displayed at the Portland Museum of art… don't paint anymore. It’s because paint supplied are expensive, and 500 gallons of raw human feces not only did $10k in damages to my bedroom, it also destroyed $30k in art materials. But it gets worse… my mother was two timing Nick with both my father Kenny and her other ex husband Wayne… and on top of that, she was mad at Wayne, so, it turns out, that 7 of those cats were HIS cats, and she had stolen them from HIM…. so not only was she hiding thirteen cats from Nick, but seven of those cats were stolen cats besides! She put the cats in my motorhome, them, because she is fueding with ALL her whore master fuck buddy men, one of them, the FBI hasn’t figured out which one yet, filled my motorhome with feces out of a Blow Brother’s sewage truck (my cousin Ken Blow is my neighbour, they stole one of his trucks to do it) , and then called the police and told them that the motorhome was HERS, because my mother had been running around telling everybody it was hers, she these guys thought they were pumping sewage into my mother’s bedroom and didn’t know they were pumping sewage into my bedroom. But, because they DID know that she had put the cats in there, and they were made at both her and Wayne, they thought if they called the police, the police would arrest her and Wayne… ,...however, the gays haters of the local Mormon churches ALSO showed up that same morning, a completely separate incident from the cats, to attack my family, because, earlier that year, I had published a gay Romance novel, called Night of the Screaming Unicorn, and these gay hating church freaks, decided murdering my family was punishment for me publishing a Gay Romance novel. A fucking five towns worth of police, including a SWAT team showed up… the white robed klan pretenders fled, thep police found the cats, I was left asking “What cats? What are you even talking about?” Later an officer asked me if I knew the cats, and I said, “Yeah, these ones belong to my step father Wayne up in Biddeford and those ones belong to my on the other side of Bideford, how the hell did they get in my motorhome?” And the court cases people talk about… there where SEVEN different court cases going on all at once, including the Guy Gamon murder trail because he murdered my dog walker who walked my dog when I was sick, which was the big case, that uncovered he was a serial rapist, and went on for several years and included a jury trial. The murder trail of my family was also going on. Different court case. And then, my MOTHER had a court case going on with police over the cats, which, in the middle of that, she spun it around, started telling people the cats were mine, and the next thing I knew, there were TWO MORE court cases slapped on me, that I knew nothing about… both an extension of the cat case my mother had going on, because 2 weeks into HER court case about HER cats that SHE hid from Nick in MY motorhome, she had Nick convince the police to switch the case out of her name into my name, because she had convinced Nick that the cats were mine! So all of a sudden, I get this weird court case about HER cats slapped on me, on top of the three murder cases and rape case, that were already going on. The cat court case lasted less then an hour before the judge threw it out of court, telling some Dan guy that if he ever tried to pull a stunt like this again (apparently he worked for the Old Orchard Beach town hall and had pulled scam court cases to frame disabled women before, because the judge told the Dan guy that this was the 64th bogus case he had done to try to steal land from disabled women in OOB)...... but… the judge was asking me about the cats, and I keep telling him, I don’t know anything about the cats because they were not my cats, they were my mother’s cats, and I still had no clue how they had even gotten in my motorhome in Old Orchard Beach, 14 miles away from Nick’s apartment in Biddeford where they had been for several years before that. Finally the judge asked if someone could get my mother to the court house, and surprisingly she showed up… with Nick of all people… and she boo-hooed to the court about the cats being mine, and my being homeless and living under a tarp (I was still living under the tarp in 2015, but not at the time of the attack… I had just moved in with my dad in Biddeford March 31, 2015 due to I have just come out of intensive surgery and the doctor wanted me to not be sleeping outdoors for the next 6 months because I had intensive amounts of surgery to heal from, so I wasn’t in Old Orchard the day my mother put HER cats in my motorhome and that’s why I had no clue the cats were in there). Well, the judge got mad at my mother, because it was blatantly obvious to him that the cats were hers, because she was using all the cats’ names, while I didn’t know the cats’ names, and she was describing what they looked like and what breeds and ages they were, while I didn’t know what half the cats looked like, Three of the cats I had never even seen before, and I didn’t know their names. I didn’t know how many cats there were! The judge outright told my mother to her face that she ought to be ashamed of what she did, framing me and pretending the cats were mine, and he sent the cats to the West Kennebunk Animal Shelter, something we knew right there in the court room, but in order to get pity, and money (my mother started a fund raiser on one of those kickstarter type places) saying she needed to raise money to locate the cats. What the fuck? We knew where the cats were. They were at the West Kennebunk Animal Shelter… she even went there to try to get them back… asked me to drive her there in my car, took Wayne with her because the cats were technically HIS cats that she stole from him… I have the whole thing on video camera, it was livestreamed… she had a big fucking fight with the people at the shelter and they told her they’s arrest her if she ever tried to get near their shelter again. After that, she built up this weird ass conspiracy that the cats were sent to lots of shelters and foster care… which they probably were., I don’t know… and she went from one animal shelter to the next harassing them. Meanwhile, her friend Joel Baily hacks my Twitter account and uses it to harass, yet another of my mother’s whore master men that she sluts around with trying to get money out of… some guy named Mark, who I never heard of before, but apparently, he’s been friends with my mother AND my father for some forty odd years, even though I myself had never seen or heard of him before. And yes, the same Joel Bailey from the Saco Ward and Old Orchard Beach town hall who went to prison for hacking the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall bank account and transferring $30MILLION in OOB tax money to members of the Saco Ward church… who it turns out, most of them were the anti-gay attackers in my yard April 10, 2015, which is why 24 members of that church went to prison between 2016 and 2021. So, I’m still unable to do anything because, you know, still recovering from major spine surgery, because of the golf club attack that murdered my son in 2013, three years earlier, I didn;t have surgery until 2015 and 2016., because of the fucking red tape the USA medical system runs on… here I am, not online at all since November 14, 2013, so I have not yet told anyone about any of the April 10, 2015, and come January 2016, all of a sudden, there’s the Mark guy who crawls out of the woodwork, with yet another court case, this one claiming I was saying stuff on Twittrer about him… and yet, I had never heard of this guy before AND I hadn’t been online since November 14, 2013, so what the fuck? Who the hell is hacking my Twitter account pretending to be me, while harassing this guy I never even heard of before. But by this point FBI Agent Andy Drwer had taken over the whole case, and by June 2016, he found out, yeah,:” it’s your mother’s friends from the Saco Ward church. She’s convinced them the cats were yours and that you need to be punished for animal abuse, that you didn’t even do, by hacking your accounts and framing you” Great. So yet again, my mother and her cat obsession and her Atwater friends, and her Saco ward friends, and her fcck buddies are at the core of all of this, with them once again, putting my name on something I fucking had no part of and didn’t even know anything about! What the fuck! This court case was ALL livestreamed, you can go watch it on YouTube. The Cat Court case was also live streamed. You can watch that on YouTube too. The murder court cases and the rape court cases, also livestreamed. You can watch them on YouTube too. And then on top of that, was the Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach Court case with the Old Orchard Bach Town Hall… also livestreamed, you can watch that on YouTube as well. My mother, Nick. all these Saco Ward church people, the Dan guy, the Mark guy, the Gene guy… they are ALL on livestream… the judges, the police officers, the witnesses, the DA, even the FBI agents… all recorded, all livestreamed on Twich, all archived on YouTube, all SEVEN court cases, every day of every trial. You can go watch them all yoursel and see the truth, instead of listening to siller gossip and rumors started by my mother and her Nick buddy trying to cover their asses for trying to steal my land YET AGAIN, via the cats. But have you ever noticed it is ONLY my mother and Nick talking about the cats in connection to April 10, 2015… do you notice how I never talk about the cats, because… oh look… they were NOT my cats, they were my MOTHER’S cats and that’s why SHE is talking about them? Did you also notice how, in order to make people believe the cats were mine, that both my mother and Nick, are going out of their way to try to erase the existence of my family that was murdered that same day? Did you notice how in order to push THEIR cat agenda, my mother and Nick are are doing a major gaslighting move to try to make everyone FORGET what happened two years earlier on November 14, 2013, the day my son was murdered and my spine was broken? Did you notice how my mother and Nick are trying to use THEIR cats as a slight of hand move, so people wouldn’t see that they DID steal and sell part of my land to Don Colliard in 2007 nd that they tried to sell another section of my land in March 2015… yes, yet another court case which was going on, BEFORE the cats happened, and that the FBI believes my mother and Nick pulled the cat stunt deliberately to try to make people look the other way and forget that she and Nick tried to steal my land only 2 weeks prior to the cat event? Or that she and Nick tried for a THIRD time to steal and sell my land April 2022… Know the truth. Those cats were not mine, they never were, and I’m sick and tired of the jack ass fucking animal abuse rumors and lies my mother and Nick are spreading about me… lies that they are spreading ONLY to try to cover up the fact that they were trying to steal my land, to sell my land, so my mother could by some fucking mansion in Kennebunk. Well guess what… my son is buried on my land, He’s been buried there since November 2013, and it doesn’t matter that there is no house on my land, because my son’s there and I’m never selling it. And my mother and he Nick and Saco Ward and Atwater friends are bunch of fucking scum bags who don’t give a shit about anything but the damned fucking money they think they can get out of my land. So, we have confirmation that yes, our mail IS being stolen from 146 Portland Ave. As you already know, we have not received mail since May 2022 and it is now March 2023, it's nearly a year. Post office has just been saying "we are short drivers" and has not looked into it... so we went over the heads of the local Old Orchard Beach post office and went to the distribution center, and told the state post master what was going on, they got in touch with our delivery driver, and he has delivered our mail every day, all year, and is baffled because the post office had not alerted him that we were not getting our mail. So, YES, if you live on Portland Ave, in Old Orchard Beach, and have not been receiving mail, and I know most of my neighbors are saying they've not gotten mail in weeks to months, as well, go to the Saco distribution center in the industrial park, and complain there, because tour driver IS delivering daily and has not been missing delivers... all missing mail from Portland Ave is stolen and you need to let them know what mail you have not received to they can get to the bottom of finding who is doing it. So, while I was at the post office today, seeing how the post office is on the Cascade Road, out here in the Old Orchard Beach section of the Scarbourgh Marsh... I decided to check the family cross, see if the name Todd had been added, seeing how the vandals and shitard harassers can't stop gibbering Todd Murphey this and Todd Murphey that in my driveway, and nope... here it is, https://www.eelkat.com/images/cross.jpg as you can see the only two names are my cousin Timmy Murphy and my uncle Gordon Murphy. No Todd. You know, I would recommend these shittards take their heads out of their asses, and drive through all the roads of the Scarbourough Marsh. Why? This cross is one of the more then a hundred crosses in the marsh, which marks the locations of the one hundred and twenty people whom have been beheaded in a four mile radius since June 2001. This cross stand at the Ross Road x Cascade Rd intersection. The Cascade Road, as everyone who watches the local news is aware, is where bulk of the serial killer's attacks have occurred, which is why local news reporters have dubbed the entire case as "The Cascade Murders", officially know to law enforcement as "The Oulette Case". If you start driving through all the side streets of the Scarbourgh Marsh, you will find there are 120 - one hundred and twenty - of these crosses, some with 5 or more names on them, each marking the location where the the person dubbed by locals as "The Portland Ave serial killer" has murdered 120+ people between June 2001 and February 2021. For some odd reason, the Sanford Ward LDS church, a church only a 30 minute drive awa from the Scarborough Marsh, is so clueless about the local biome, that they seem to think the ONLY place the Scarborough Marsh exists is across the street from the church owned candy store Len Libby's Chocolates. Do you recall how people like to dub my land "Etiole's Swamp"... do you know why they do that? Because my land is a literal swamp. It's a peat bog, with more sinking quicksand and 6 foot tall marsh grass, then solid ground. I live IN the Scarbough Marsh, as does EVERYONE on Portland Ave, Ross Road, Pine Point Road, Cascade Road, Walnut Street, East Grand Ave, West Grand Ave, Milliken Mills Rd, and more then 200 - two hundred - other streets in Old Orchard Beach, all of which are located inside the Scarborough Marsh. The Marsh is not JUST in Scarborough, nor is it just that one quart mile stretch of road across from Len Libby's. The Marsh sits in two countries and five towns, and covers several thousand acres of land... and the Scarborough WalMart and the South Portland Main Mall, both site in the marsh, with both of those mega buildings building on a massive system of concrete pilings to keep them from sinking into the many acres of peat bog that site under each of those buildings. But do take a drive on the above listed streets in Old Orchard, as well as the following ones in Pine Point: Pine Point Rd, Blue Point Rd, Black Point Rd, Dunstan Corner, Portland Rd aka Rt 1, Payne Rd, and all the little side streets off of each one. In Saco head to Heath St, Jenkins Rd, Flag Pond Rd (stop and see the very real pet cemetery where Stephen King's The Pet Cemetery movie was filmed while you are there), and all their side streets, yes those are in the Scarbourogh Marsh as well... and instead of just blindly driving through the Marsh on your way to work, slow down and start counting the crosses... big white crosses, little white crosses, unpainted wooden crosses, reflector covered orange crosses... see if you can find all one hundred and twenty crosses in the Scarbourogh Marsh... they sit in 5 towns, in 2 counties... and every one of them marks the location of someone who was beheaded by a still uncaught, still actively killing people, serial killer who has plagued the streets in the Portland Ave region of the Scarbough Marsh since June 2001. But as you can see, it's Timmy Murphy who was beheaded on the Cascade Rd... not Todd Murphy... there's it's cross which has stood there since June 2013. You know, if these harassers spent more time paying attention to what is going on around them, and less time being self absorbed jerks... they'd know these crosses were here... they'd know, Old Orchard Beach has a serial killer on the lose who has beheaded more then 120 people and left their bodies at cross road intersections all over the marsh... they'd know that this has been going on for 18 years now, and they'd know that my family had been hit by this madman multiple times now, fist killing my cousin Timmy Murphy, then killing my baby and leaving me not only crippled, but also one of only 5 people to live through and survive one of this serial killer's attacks, thus WHY the FBI is so hyper focused on not letting me out of their sight because this killer has a history of not leaving people alive... they'd know that SEVENTEEN families all within a quarter mile section of Portland Ave, between Walnut St and Milekin Miles Rd, 17 families in this space of street, have not only have their families murdered, but their houses bulldozed by a backhoe, and in just those 17 families, in addiction to the dead people, there are also more then FIVE HUNDRED dead pets, including cats, dogs, birds, and horses, every one of which was beheaded and the headless pet hung from rope nooses and draped in trees and porches of the 17 families... something the FBI says is a scene from a Stephen King book, which the serial killer likes to recreate... and then the FBI points out this: each of those 17 families has appeared in The Thinner movie... it's the one common thread for ALL 120+ Scarbourough Marsh killings: every sing victim has somehow been involved in the filming on one of the 14 Stephen King movies which was filmed in Saco, Old Orchard Beach, and Scarboughor back in the 1980s. According to the FBI, EVERY SINGLE ONE of these murders, animal killings, harassments, vandalisms, and hate crimes, can be found in a Stephen King book and this lunatic is recreating "art" in tribute to Stephen King, using the bodies of family members who were involved in the filming of Stephen King's oldest movies. If these people in the Sanford Ward church would take their heads out of Joesph Smith's ass long enough to look around, they would have known these things were going on, that they were going on to people in their congregation, that several members of their congregation have stopped attended church because they were murdered, that several other members of their congregation no longer attend because like me they are crippled and bed ridden from these attacks, and that 24 members of their congregation no longer attend church because they are in prison for their connections and involvements in these murders. Heck, these murders have been all over the TV and paper news for 18 years now... you'd think the people of the Saco and Sanford Ward LDS churches - who are the ones in my driveway bitch screaming about Todd Murphey for the past 2 years now - would at least have seen enough TV news or newspaper news... oh look, did you know one of the big name newscasters on TV, someone who has in fact covered the Scarbough Marsh case on TV several times now, is a member of the Sanfard Ward congregation, and even SHE knows what's going on, obviously because she's one of the reporters who keeps showing up to interview all us families who live in in the Scarborough Marsh... so I know not everyone in the Sandford Ward is clueless as to what has been going on in the community round them.... several of these church members are outright screaming, literally screaming from my neighbor's front porch in Biddeford, that they never heard of any of this before... I'm sorry... what the fuck? The Scarbourough Marsh murders is quite literally the biggest unsolved murder case in all of New England, not just Maine, it's been covered by DateLine, 20/20 and half the crime network tv shows! The fucking planet has heard of it! These people are telling me, literally, while standing on my neighbors front porch and shrieking at the tops of their lungs, that they never heard of this murder case, a murder case I've not stopped talking about for the last 9 years because as of 9 years ago now members of my family have been murdered.. heck, with so many deaths now, it's pretty hard to find any family in the Scarbourough Marsh who DOESN'T have a dead relative killed by this nutjob... and these people, who vandalized our apartment building so bad that the landlord has a repair crew here all of this next upcoming summer... these vandals and hate fueled harassers from the Sandford Ward church, are telling me, that they had no clue any of this was going on? And worse... y Atwater relatives... they keep showing up and ALSO saying they never heard of this... really? How? I know the FBI has been talking to them about it because they keep showing up in a rage yelling that the FBI was just at their house and it's all my fault and demanding I stop sending the FBI to their house... but I didn't send the FBI to their house, heck, I didn't even know they were related to me, as I never heard of them before they showed up to yell at me, so how the hell do they think I sent the FBI over there? What the fuck? But also... what the fuck? Family members have been murdered and as far as I know, the FBI is trying to locate every relative to find out if they might have any information about a member of their family being murdered... I mean, if these people really are relatives, like they scream that they are when they are in my yard yelling at me, then, someone in my family being murdered IS ALSO someone in THEIR family being murdered.... and yeah, of course the law enforcement is going to go to every family member and ask for info, that's what law enforcement does, because, they just naturally assume that normal families help each other and WANT to solv a murder that happened in their family. Which is something FBI Agent Andy Drewer pointed out to me, he said: "The Atware relatives of yours... they're pretty paranoid aren't they? I'm having trouble getting any of them to talk to me. Most slam the door in my face the minute I say I'm with the FBI. They act like they got something to hide. Looks mighty suspicious. Can you think of any reason why any of your uncles might want you dead?" That was the same day he pointed out that his five top suspects for the November 14, 2013 attack were my uncle Bruce, my aunt Barbara, my mother, my father, and Ben. He said he can prove they all knew about the golf club attack, and yet everyone of them is openingly, publicly denying any knowledge of it, and all five of them are doing their most public outspoken, over the top denying it in two places: The Saco Ward LDS Church and the Sandford Ward LDS Church. And most disturbing of all is this: He says my father was having an affair with a woman named Claire back in the 1970s, and that my father and my mother and Claire and Claire's husband have been feuding since the late 1970s, a fued which goes on to this day... and... that on ALL of my mother's social media accounts, FaceBook, Twitter, Pinterest, everything, are two usernames that show up in her friends' lists: both with the same last name, one using the username Claire while posting a 4 door white truck as her user photo, and the other... wait for it... has the user name: KendraSilvermander". The FBI has found an actual person, a relative, in law of the Atwaters, who goes by the username KendraSilvermander. Why is this significant? The people who murdered my son at BugLight Light house art studio at Southern Maine Community College on November 14, 2013, was a blond woman whom the other two called "Claire", a red haired woman who was chanting: "I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine! I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine! I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine! I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine!..." like she was singing a song... both women looked to be in their 60s, and today a decade later, would now be in their mid-70ish, and were with a large bald man, about 30th, today would be about 40ish, and the 3 of them left in a 4 door white pickup truck. The odd thing is, people don't talk about themselves in 3rd person limited, but, that's what the red haired woman was doing.... and I've seen her before... she showed up at Westbrook Panera 3 different occasions in 2009 and 2010 and in each of those instances also did the same marching goosestep around, back then carrying a white poodle wearing a purple dragon coat... while again saying "I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine!" while also bragging that her father owned Saco FunTownSplashtown USA and having a psychotic meltdown screaming" My chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR!" Annalese, the woman sitting next to me, another published author, as thi was a NaNoWriMo writer's meeting, who was the NaNoWriMo Ml of Souther Maine, leaned over and whispered to me "That's Kendra Silvermander, she thinks she's he ML, we try to humor her. She can get rather violent if you don't." Whoever this red haired woman is, she has a server, mega in need of medical care, mental disorder, appears to be incapable of functioning beyond the mental level of a two year old, and is quite proud of repeating her name as fast as an auctioneer. But, she speaks in 3rd person limited about herself, using us and ours and we to refer to herself, and uses the phrase: "I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine!" as though it was a period at the end of every sentence. I don't know what sort of a mental disorder she has, but Annelese was right, this woman gets over the top violent, as we quickly saw at Westbrook Panera in 2009, when she started slamming her dog on the table while chanting "My chair", and then quickly lashed out at me, in a mega violent rage of throwing chairs. The restaurant had to drag her out and make her leave. She repeated this at three different writer's meetings at the Westbrook Panera in 2009 and 2010. She is the same woman who was ordering/leading/demanding the blond Claire woman's golf club attack at Southern Maine Community college November 14, 2013, murdering my baby and crippling me. She returned for a 5th attack June 26, 2016, again with the bond Claire woman, this time at Scarborough WalMart, and this time attacking with a shopping cart, this being the attack that caused the inoperable 3 broken vertebrae and the organ and nerve damage which caused my current crippled stat. In this attack, yet again the red haired woman was chanting: "I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine!" but this time the blond woman was shrieking: "That's EelKat, she tried to kill my husband. That thing is Ken's son, look at how IT's dressed! Kill or be killed! Remember Saco Shaws! No more heads in ice cream! End the gaypocalypse! Kill the transvestite freak! Too Gay for the Family Friendly Town of Old Orchard Beach!" This time instead of driving away in a 4 door white truck driven by a bald man, this time he two women were alone and drove away in a gold Volvo late 1990s vintage suv station wagon. The usernames now showing up on my mother's social media, and the Atwater relative's social media is significant, because, according the these FBI agents.... those are the exact same Atwaters who are REFUSING to talk to the FBI, slamming the doors in the FBI agents faces, and also, are the most vocal on social media in spreading the alien/UFO/witchcraft/cat rumors about me. And the FBI believes they not only know who the golf club murderer is, they likely were involved in planning the November 14, 2013 attack... and every one of them has been seen with the Sanford Ward LDS Church members who are likewise the biggest defamatory gossipers, running around slandering my name with their lies about witchcraft/curses/aliens/ufos/and cats. AND... on top of that... they ae the EXACT SAME Atwaters ans Sandford Ward church members whom have spent the last two years bombarding my Biddeford apartment with these same rumors while the vandalize the building, which the landlord now has to spend the summer repairing. AND... these are the same people who are also claiming, they had no clue these murders were going on in the Scarborough Marsh. Overall... these people who are denying the events of the Scarborough Marsh murders, while simaltaniously going overboard gibbering lies about me online, are really working overtime at making themselves look like they were involved in the November 14, 2013 murder of my son, and making themselves look tremendously guilty of not only knowing who the killier is, but trying to cover up for the killer, and attempting to gaslight me with their weird alien rumors, in an attempt to make people not see their connection to the killer, that they are trying so very blatently to hide and are only succeeding and shining a mega sized spotlight of suspision on themselves, leaving everyone who is watching them doing it to ask: What the fuck did they do, that they are trying to hide so damned bad, that they are going mega big time slanderfeat screaming about aliens and ufos all over social media, trying to convince people that I believe in aliens and ufos when there are 40+ years of documented evidance of me debuncking aliens and proving their ufo accusations to a be a hoax they created to cover their own asses over a drug raid from 1982? And now they are rearing up their alien accusations again, which again, I can prove to be a hoax, because... what are they trying to cover up THIS time? Last time they rolled out the alien accusations they were trying to blame literal toddlers for the 1982 drug raid, by saying that 4, 5, and 6 year old children saw aliens... 72 people were arrested in the 1982 drug raid... there were no aliens... if anyone was seeing aliens, it was the drug addicted having drug induced hallucinations... and yet, those same drug dealers, now out of prison, are once again pointing to aliens, this time because they are mad that the FBI showed up to ask if they knew anything about the murder of my son. Can I ask, what the fuck does not real, fictional aliens they saw because of drugs, during a 1982 drug raid, what does that have to do with my son being murdered? And are they really that retarded that they think I control the FBI and tell the FBI what to do? What the fuck? Them coming over here and screaming for me to stop sending the FBI to their house, when I didn’t even know these people were relatives, never heard of them before, and wouldn’t even have had a way t tell the FBI a blooming thing about them at all, just makes them look suspicious, because for one thing: who even are these people? I still don’t know who they are! And for another thing, why do they think I sent the FBI over to them? And again: who are they? There are over 400 Atwaters and I’ve only ever met 7 of them, I don’t know the names or faces of any of the others, I don’t even know all the names or faces of the original 12, so I can’t figure out how they’d think I would know the names or faces of any of the kids, grandkids, or great grandkids of the original 12. What the fuck? How are the Atwaters so full of themselves that they think I would have one iota of a clue anything about them, when I’ve never met them and I don’t even know their names… and also… why would I care? Tell me that? Do you know any sane person who knows the names of their parents in-laws. Yes… my parents in-laws… in-laws of in-laws… not even blood relatives, but the aunts, uncles, cousins, grandkids, and great grandkids of in laws of my parents’ in laws… who in their right mind would even know the names of such distant relatives… You, reading this right now… can you name your parent’s cousins? Do you know the names of your mother’s uncle’s great grand kids? Do you? Can you see how utterly stupidly ridiculous the Atwaters are being, when they show up here yelling and screaming, and expect that I should know who they are or what the fuck they are talking about: Newsflash: normal people don’t live in 400 person large family herds. Normal people don’t live in herds. Normal people don’t swamp in shark style frenzies in the driveways of distant relatives of your great grand pappies 5th removed cousin of an in-law, either. What the actual fuck? And on top of everything else, there are Awaters running around screaming that I am vandalising some grave… the grave of a distant relative whom I never heard of before, so I don’t even know where the grave is… when I’m here bedridden and crippled and not even capable of going to visit my own son’s grave because… oh look: I’m crippled and stuck in bed with a broken spine and severed spinal cord for the past nine years! You know… if you are going to accuse someone of going somewhere to vandalize something, you might want to first make sure that person is not wheelchair bound, bedridden, and crippled for a decade with a broken spine, so unable to even get to the place you are accusing them of going! Also… since the day my son was murdered, I have a camera running 24/7 so, it’s pretty foolish of you to lie about me when I can not only prove you are lying, I can also prove every time you’ve been screaming in my driveway, because I have you on camera. They didn’t think of that did they? Oh no, of course not, why would they? They were too busy thinking about those aliens and witches they can’t stop gibbering about. But look at this cross... Do you remember Timmy Murphy? He was the 5 year old with curly black hair, who was also accused of aliens during that 1982 drug raid. They called us The White Monkey Children, because we found Helen Pearly's missing pet white monkey. And the people arrested during the 1982 drug raid, many of them Atwaters, pointed to that white monkey that had escaped from White Animal Farm, a zoo in Old Orchard at the time, they pointed to that white money and called it an alien. Helen Pearly, look her up, is the founder of the Scarbourgh Marsh preserve, an animal preserve that started out with one pet white monkey, and is today, many thousands of acres of protected land known by the name The Scarboughorgh Marsh. Can you see NOW why the idiots screaming aliens are seen as so damned idiotic? But can you also see the names on the cross? There were 31 children involved in helping Helen Pearly capture her escaped pet white money. Drive through the scarborough marsh looking at the names of the beheaded victims on those crosses... 29 of the 31 White Monkey Children are now dead, killed and tossed in the marsh, where 40 years ago, they helped little old lady look for her lost pet albino monkey. Every one of them accused of being alien abductees; accusations which was screamed ONLY by the drug dealers and drug users of the 1982 drug raid, which took place in the Scarbourough Marsh. The only people who accuse me of aliens are the people now out of prison, who went to prison because of the 1982 drug raid... a drug raid known to locals as "The 458 Shoot Out" due to one woman screaming "Four! Five! Eight!" in between each time she loaded up her shotgun. Everybody that has shown up in the marsh since June 2001, has been either one of the now adult White Monkey Children, or one of their children or grandchildren. EVERY - SINGLE - ONE. Go to the marsh, look for the crosses. Read the names. My cousin Timmy Murphy's cross is not the only one and if you open your eyes and start looking at the side streets all through the marsh, you'll see one hundred and twenty of these crosses, some with 5 or more names on them. Crosses the entire country has seen on Dateline, 20/20, and dozens of unsolved crime shows... crosses that the Atwarers and their friends at the Sandford Ward church, are right now, this very week, posting all over social media, claiming aren't there, claiming I'm the only one talking about them, when clearly I'm not seeing hoe Dateline and 20/20 are pret big international news shows... and also claiming "Yeah EeelKat's crazy, she believes in aliens" when its extremely well documented my not believing in aliens and my debunking alien abductions as hoaxes... and these same people are also trying to convince people on social media "cats!".... but the cats were my mother's not mine, and my son was murdered November 14, 2013, two years before my mother's cat incident occurred. These people are making total idiots of themselves, because all any one has to do is look up the new reports about the Scarbourough Marsh murders and the Cascade Murders to see that since June 2001, a LOT of people here in the marsh have been murdered, and originally they were not thought to b connected, but, now it is known that they are. I wish these crazy ass Atwaters and their weird Todd Murphy obsessed Sanford Ward lunatics and their alien abduction ufo nuts, would leave me and my family alone. I don’t know what their problem is or why they are so obnoxiously hell bent on stalking my family and harassing us like this, but I am getting pretty damned sick of it. I have enough shit to deal with with, oh, I don’t know, half my family being murdered, my son’s killer still being on the loose, 9 years bedridden and still relearning to walk, … I don’t need these fucktards jumping into my life and trying to grab their 15 minutes of fame by tampering with the FBI’s investigation into hunting down my son’s murderer. Know the truth. The truth will set you free. What happened when Amazon's adult filter was placed on my books because of a false complaint made by local bullies from Old Orchard Beach. Ads by Amazon

Welcome, one and all, to my Halloween Flashback series! As noted in part I, this is happening because i’m terrible and didn’t get the chance to write anything new for Halloween this year. So, instead, I’m linking to some of my older horror themed posts. And this time it’s … the other scary stuff. Fact or Fiction In this series of posts, I take a look at things and try to ascertain if they’re fact or fiction. You see, I have an interest in both cyrptozoology and paranormal stuff. So, I featured a couple of things that I found interesting. The first was Dogman. This popular cryptid is essentially an upright walking wolf-like creature. But the question is, is it a real creature, or a case of msitaken identity? Find out my thoughts in the article. The second was footage of a Haunted Office. There’s a long video in there that shows what is beleived to be a haunting in a UK office. Is it real or a hoax though? I gave it a look and came to my own conclusions. Films and Games Who doesn’t love a good scare in their entertianment, right? I’ve not done many posts about the more spooky end of things that I enjoy in terms of video entertainment, but here’s a couple for you. - Halloween 2017: The Exorcist – Who Possessed Regan MacNeil? – The book says Pazuzu, and the film can be said to be the same, but is that really the case? I examine the evidence to explain why I don’t believe this to be the case. - Film Review: Stephen King’s It (2017) – Is the remake of the Stephen King classic worth your time? Or should they have not bothered? Find out if Pennywise still provides the scares here. - Game Review: Resident Evil 7 – Biohazard – I’m a long time fan of the series, but found the more recent entries to be a little lackluster. They just didn’t feel like Resident Evil games to me. This though? This was a return to form. - Top 5 Things On My Resident Evil 2 Remake Wish-List – Sticking with the Resi series, the second game is getting a remake! What would like to see in it? Find out here. I hope you all enjoyed that. Horror is fun! I should really do more with it here.

Titled "Devastation" the second of four DLC packs will introduce a few new multiplayer maps, the return of a fan-favorite map, along with the deadly sounding 2-in-1 Ripper weapon and episode 2 of Extinction, which will feature a crazy sounding 100-foot Cryptid Boss named "the Kraken". Check out the announcement below along with the trailer. Xbox owners as usual get first crack at the content on April 3rd. Gamers clamoring for all-new Call of Duty: Ghosts content can set their calendars for Devastation, the second of four massive DLC Packs, set to launch on April 3rd. Available first, exclusively on Xbox Live for both Xbox One and Xbox 360, Devastation delivers a new assortment of content to Call of Duty's definitive online multiplayer experience. The DLC Pack features four new small to medium-sized multiplayer maps, including a mountaintop Mayan temple, a mangled container ship, a giant excavation digger in South America, and a fully reimagined version of Infinity Ward's fan-favorite map "Dome" from Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 – each with their own unique Field Order. There's also the all-new "Ripper" tactical 2-in-1 weapon, and "Episode 2: Mayday" – the gripping second chapter in Extinction's four-part episodic narrative which includes multiple mod-able versions of the Venom-X weapon, and closes with a battle against a monstrous, 100-foot tall Cryptid alien boss, aptly named the Kraken. Additionally, as a special offer available starting today for players on Xbox Live, Call of Duty: Ghosts DLC Season Pass owners get instant access to Devastation's all-new "Ripper" weapon, which features the unique ability to quickly convert from Sub Machine-Gun (SMG) to Assault Rifle and back again in the midst of battle, and can be used in all Call of Duty: Ghosts multiplayer maps. Devastation is available a la carte for a suggested retail price of $14.99, or as part of the Call of Duty: Ghosts DLC Season Pass, which gives fans access to four epic Call of Duty: Ghosts DLC Packs** planned to release throughout 2014 at the discounted* suggested retail price of $49.99. Call of Duty: Ghosts DLC Season Pass holders also get instant access to the Team Leader Digital Pack, which comes with a unique multiplayer character head, weapon camo, reticle, patch, player card and background. And for the first time in Call of Duty history, a free Call of Duty: Ghosts multiplayer demo will be available for gamers to experience over the weekend, starting tomorrow,Friday, March 7, 2014 and running through Monday, March 10, 2014. Gamers will be able to jump on Xbox Live and try out Ghosts multiplayer, including three multiplayer maps – Strikezone, Warhawk, and Prison Break; three multiplayer modes – Team Deathmatch, Domination and Search & Rescue; and the original Extinction game mode – Point of Contact, all at no cost. Simply sign-in, download the Call of Duty: Ghosts multiplayer demo, and get right into a match against friends, family and anyone else enjoying the free demo this weekend. "The Devastation DLC Pack continues the fast-paced, fun and imaginative gameplay that Infinity Ward and Neversoft began with Onslaught," said Daniel Suarez, Vice President of Production, Activision Publishing, Inc. "Ghosts' DLC is much more than just new multiplayer maps. The teams have added new weapons; the next intense continuation in Extinction's four-part, episodic narrative; and another epic, action film character soon to be revealed. Devastation, like Onslaught before it, is a ton of fun, and we can't wait for the community to experience it all." Devastation delivers four distinctive new maps with the fast-paced gameplay Call of Duty fans love, each with their own surprises. The first map, "Ruins," is located on a Mexican peninsula and set amidst the remnants of a mountaintop Mayan temple, with multiple levels providing verticality for longer-range weapons, and underground pathways perfect for close-quarters encounters. Savvy players that find and complete the unique Field Order will be able to trigger the map's volcano to erupt, and enjoy watching enemy players attempt to take cover as fiery debris fall from the sky. The map "Collision," is a mangle of debris scattered atop a container ship pinned underneath a crippled bridge in New York. This small map is ideal for run-and-gun tactics. Players that dominate "Collision" and complete the map's specific Field Order will be able take control of a heavily armed aircraft and rain down destruction from above. "Behemoth" takes the battle aboard a massive excavation platform in South America. Long sight lines open this map up to longer-range weapons, while the compact interiors of the control rooms are ideal for SMG's and Shotguns. Completing "Behemoth's" Field Order will allow players to control an attack helicopter armed with a deadly, armor-piercing Rail Gun as it circles the excavator searching for enemy combatants. Devastation's fourth map, "Unearthed," drops players into a reimagined version of "Dome," the fan-favorite multiplayer map from Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. With a new look and all-new secrets, "Unearthed" is a compact map for all player types, who must navigate an alien artifact dig site in order to unlock the map's Field Order and unleash the power of the Cryptids, as well as locate the map's secret alien weapon. Call of Duty: Ghosts Devastation also arms players with the "Ripper" – a new, tactical 2-in-1 SMG/Assault Rifle that can be used in all of Ghosts' multiplayer maps. The "Ripper" is a highly unique weapon because of its ability to quickly switch back and forth from SMG to Assault Rifle on the fly. A deadly addition to Ghosts' arsenal, the "Ripper" is the ideal companion across a variety of map types and tactics, providing players unprecedented flexibility with medium to short-range capability as an SMG, and medium to long-range as an Assault Rifle. For Extinction fans, "Episode 2: Mayday," highlights the Call of Duty: Ghosts Devastation DLC Pack. Following the dramatic events that took place deep within the Alaskan wilderness at the Nightfall Program research facility, the Quick Reaction Force team now heads onboard a mysterious Chinese research vessel drifting abandoned in the Tasman Sea in the South Pacific Ocean. Players will uncover a much deeper conspiracy as they pursue Captain Archer and discover what has become of Doctor Cross. Armed with multiple mod-able versions of the Venom-X weapon powered with Cryptid technology, players will come up against yet another new alien species referred to as the "Seeder," as well as go head-to-head with a massive, 100-foot tall Cryptid enemy from the depths of the ocean…the "Kraken."

|This article needs additional citations for verification. (May 2009)| |First reported||April 17, 1976| |Region||Mawnan Smith, Cornwall| The Owlman, sometimes referred to as the Cornish Owlman, or the Owlman of Mawnan, is a purported owl-like cryptid that was supposedly sighted around mid-1976 in the village of Mawnan, Cornwall, England, United Kingdom The Owlman is sometimes compared to America's Mothman in cryptozoological literature. The Owlman story began when paranormal researcher Tony "Doc" Shiels was approached by a man, Don Melling, who had been visiting the area on holiday from Lancaster. Melling said that on April 17, 1976, his two daughters, 12-year-old June and her 9-year-old sister, Vicky, were walking through the woods near Mawnan church when they saw a large winged creature hovering above the church tower. The girls were frightened and immediately ran to tell their father. According to Shiels, the family had become so perturbed by the sighting that they had abandoned their holiday three days early and that the father would not allow either of his daughters to be interviewed. Sheils was, however, provided with a drawing of the creature made by twelve-year-old June. In a later study of the case, Jonathan Downes claims that Shiels first described these events in "a letter", although he does not say who Shiels was writing to. The story was subsequently related in a pamphlet entitled Morgawr: The Monster of Falmouth Bay by Anthony Mawnan-Peller, which circulated throughout Cornwall in 1976. Two months later, on July 3, 14-year-old Sally Chapman was camping with a friend, Barbara Perry, in woods near the church. According to her account, as she stood outside her tent, she heard a hissing sound and turned to see a figure that looked like an owl as big as a man, with pointed ears and red eyes. The girls reported that the creature flew up into the air, revealing black pincer-like claws. Sightings of this figure continued to be reported on the following day (when it was described as "silvery gray") and on two occasions two years later, in June and August 1978, all within the vicinity of the church. Previous to their encounter, the girls had read the pamphlet that described the Owlman's appearance to the Melling girls. They contacted Shiels, who encouraged them to draw images separately; he considered them similar enough to verify their story but different enough to rule out conspiracy. Because both of the 1970s sightings involved "Doc" Shiels, an eccentric with a fondness for hoaxes, researcher Jonathan Downes acknowledges that Shiels could have invented the Owlman. However, Downes claims to have interviewed a young man, whom he calls "Gavin", who encountered the Owlman in 1989, independently of Shiels. "Gavin" and his "girlfriend" claimed to have seen a creature "about five feet tall... The legs had high ankles and the feet were large and black with two huge 'toes' on the visible side. The creature was gray with brown and the eyes definitely glowed." In 1995, a female tourist from Chicago wrote to the Western Morning News in Truro, claiming to have seen a "man-bird... with a ghastly face, a wide mouth, glowing eyes and pointed ears" as well as "clawed wings". Speculation on the Owlman's nature In Alien Animals (1985), British paranormal researchers Janet and Colin Bord pointed out that Mawnan church is built in the middle of a prehistoric earthwork. They suggested that the church may be built on a ley line (a straight line that passes through and links several ancient sites), and speculated that the appearance of the Owlman may be a manifestation of earth energy in this place. However, in Modern Mysteries of the World (1989), they retracted this and stated that they believed that the sightings were probably of an escaped aviary bird rather than a paranormal phenomenon. It has also been suggested that the whole thing may have been a hoax by Shiels, who was a "Surrealist painter and writer, showman, wizard and arch-hoaxer" A more straightforward explanation may be that the Owlman sightings were of an escaped eagle owl (Bubo bubo), a species that can grow more than two feet long, with a wingspan of nearly six feet. This is supported by a report by Karl Shuker of a late 1980s sighting of the Owlman. The witness described it as four feet high, with two large toes on the front of each foot. It ducked down and forwards before it took off. Shuker states that this "calls to mind a very large owl". The structure of the feet is also consistent with an owl identity, as owls have an arrangement of the toes known as zygodactyly, in which two toes point forwards and two backwards. A colony of eagle owls exists in North Yorkshire, and the bird is reportedly capable of crossing the English Channel. In popular culture - The Owlman appears in The Secret Saturdays episode "The Owlman Feeds at Midnight". The Owlman is depicted as the god of a cult formed of brainwashed villagers. - In the Animal Planet show Lost Tapes, the Owlman was the subject of the "Death Raptor" episode. It was said to be the same being as the Phoenician owl god to whom infant sacrifices were often made. - In the novel The Owl Killers by Karen Maitland, a superstitious village is governed and terrorised by a menacing, masked group of vigilantes called The Owl Masters, who are purported to have the power to summon the Owlman. - The Owlman is a central character and in some respects, the main antagonist in the 2013 Scottish horror film Lord of Tears. - "The Owlman of Mawnan: elaborate hoax or unsolved mystery?", Western Morning News, February 23, 2012, http://www.thisiscornwall.co.uk/Owlman-Mawnan-elaborate-hoax-unsolved-mystery/story-15296864-detail/story.html - Jonathan Downes, "The Owl Man", rpr. at Eyewitness Accounts -Mothman, Owlman and the Pterosaur - Bord, 1980 - Bock and Miller, 1959 - Bord, Janet; Bord, Colin (1990). Alien Animals. Granada. (pp135–139, 141) - Downes, Jonathan (1997). The Owlman and Others. Corby: Domra Publications. p. 239. ISBN 0-9524417-6-4. - McEwan, Graham J. (1986). Mystery Animals of Britain and Ireland. London: Robert Hale. p. 224. ISBN 0-7090-2801-6. (pp150–153) - Shuker, Karl (2002) . The Unexplained. Carlton. (p37)

What's that dark shadow fluttering up above us in the Appalachian twilight? Is it an alien? A supernatural being? A previously unknown species? Who knows! Mothman is one enigmatic dude! Haunting the backwoods of West Virginia and beyond, this adorable little cryptid may be trying to warn us of some imminent catastrophe...or he may just be super excited about his new chocolate chip muffin recipe! I bet it's the chocolate chip muffin recipe. Yeah. 15 squishy inches of unidentified adorable object, poly fill, ages 3 and up!

Loch Ness Monster (Nessie) by the locals, is dinosaur-like creature allegedly inhabiting freshwater lake by volume in Great Britain. mysterious creature inhabiting the deep and foreboding waters of Loch Ness are nothing new, in fact there are numerous references to the elusive monster dating back over 1,500 years. It was during the twentieth century; however, that sightings took an upswing as hordes of tourists armed with expensive cameras descended on the once tranquil lake in ever increasing numbers: Kenneth Wilson, an English physician, is probably responsible for the heightened interest and the deluge of visitors that followed when in 1934 he snapped what has become known as the “Surgeon's Photo” which seems to show a head and neck indicative of a large creature emerging from the lake's murky waters. an interesting aside, long-time suspicions that the picture was a hoax were given a boost with the alleged deathbed confession in 1994 of Christian Spurling the son in law of Marmaduke Wetherell a big game hunter. Shortly after arriving at the loch to search for Nessie, Wetherell had become the victim of a children’s prank when he mistakenly identified fake hippopotamus tracks as those of the monster. Humiliated and in order to exact revenge he decided to perpetrate a prank of his own. Spurling along with a couple of others was enlisted to build a Nessie model which was then taken to the loch and photographed. The result was a photo which was subsequently presented to a gullible world as definitive proof of Nessie’s existence by Dr. Wilson whose profession Wetherell felt would place him beyond reproach. Arthur Grant a motorcyclist was obviously unaware of the hoax when he narrowly missed hitting the creature while driving along the loch’s northern shore. The monster was purportedly crossing the road on its way back to the water. in 1934 a young local named Margaret Monroe claimed to have seen a large animal with a long neck, small head and flippers re-enter the loch near a spot where she was walking. at Loch Ness have continued through the decades with cameras no longer the only device used to capture images: In 1938 a South African tourist captured something swimming in the loch on 16mm color film. 1960 engineer Tim Dinsdale filmed what some thought a hump (others a boat) crossing the loch leaving behind a significant wake. A later enhancement of the film, the intent to clarify the exact nature of the object, only added to the controversy. with the amateurs, came the professionals armed with devices of ever increasing sophistication, their intent expose the loch’s most intimate secrets, no mean feat considering that Loch Ness is 22.6 miles (36.3 kilometers) long, with a maximum width of 1.7 miles (2.7 km) and a maximum depth of 744.6 feet (226.96 In 1968 DG Tucker a professor of engineering at the University of Birmingham chose Loch Ness as the site to test his new sonar transducer. The underwater acoustic device was fixed on one side of the loch and aimed at the opposing shore. The listening apparatus would then “echo locate” any large object passing within range. Over the following two week period numerous contacts were observed, some as large as 20 feet (6 meters) in length traveling at 10 knots In 1969 a New York Aquarium field researcher named Andrew Carroll initiated a trawling scan of the loch from his research vessel Rangitea which at one point resulted in a strong echo that lasted for almost 3 minutes. Exactly what the mysterious contact was is still unknown but later calculations placed its length at about 20 In 1970 Dr. Roy P. Mackal (later known for leading several expeditions virtually impenetrable and largely unexplored Likouala swamp in search of Mokele-mbembe) an engineer, cryptozoologist, used hydrophones (underwater microphones used to listen to whales, dolphins and even submarines) in an attempt to hear the monster but aside from clicks, chirps, knocks and a swishing that might have been made by a flipper or tail he came up dry. Efforts to communicate by playing back recorded sounds produced no appreciable response. arriving in 1970 was Dr. Robert Rines, renowned MIT professor, inventor of high definition image scanning radar, holder of more than 60 patents and founder of the Academy of Applied Science, along with a number of other high profile scientists. Their well equipped expedition was to be long term, returning and searching for the elusive cryptid every summer for the following six years. In 1972, using a combination of sonar to identify large moving objects and an underwater stroboscopic camera to capture the objects on film, they recorded what appeared to be a large diamond shaped fin. In 1975 other were released showing what appeared to be the body, head and long neck of a creature that strongly resembled a plesiosaur, a large prehistoric air-breathing animal long thought extinct. The controversy soon raged from universities to the mainstream media, some concluding that the pictures were absolute proof of Nessie’s existence while others maintained that objects that were originally something else only appeared to resemble a large aquatic animal because of extensive computer imaging. 2001 members of an Academy of Applied Science research team took videos of a V-shaped wake on what was otherwise the calm surface of the loch. Later they also videotaped what appeared to be the decomposing body of an unidentified animal. Other expeditions were to follow each drawing its own conclusions, the one mounted by the British Broadcasting Corporation in 2003 definitely being the most extensive of all time. Armed with 600 sonar beams and a satellite navigation system to insure complete coverage they surveyed the loch from one end to the other and from top to bottom and found nothing; not one single sonar anomaly was recorded (actually one would have been a mystery within itself, in order to perpetuate the species a viable gene pool comprised of dozens if not hundreds of the creatures would be needed). The team’s conclusion was that Nessie does not exist. Is the monster bona fide, a hoax or just plain wishful thinking? Draining the loch is probably the only way to know for sure and considering its size that's In 1975 British naturalist Sir Peter Scott grandly announced that Nessie would from now on be known officially as Nessiteras rhombopteryx which is Greek for “The Ness monster with diamond shaped fin.” A Scottish politician named Nicholas Fairbairn then dryly noted that it’s also an anagram of “Monster hoax by Sir Peter S.” Dr. Robert Rines in quick rebuttal replied that the letters could also be rearranged to spell “Yes, both pix are monsters, R.” By comparison Lake Champlain, alleged home of the North American cryptid the Lake Champlain Monster, is 125 miles (201 km) long, with a maximum width of 14 miles (23 km) and a maximum depth of 400 feet (122 meters) and Lake Okanagan, alleged home of Ogopogo the Lake Okanagan Monster, is 84 miles (135 km) long, with a maximum width of 3.1 miles (5 km) and a maximum depth of 761 feet (232 meters). word “cryptid” was devised by Manitoban John E. Wall and first used in the International Society of Cryptozoology Newsletter, Summer 1983. It basically refers to creatures that are hypothetical, presumed extinct or for which there is insufficient proof to establish their existence with absolute certainty. Copyright © 2006-2015 All rights reserved

Cattle Mutilations and the UFO Connection Bovine Excision - Aliens May be disturbing to some viewers Cattle Mutilations and the UFO Connection Bovine Excision - Aliens & cases (aka Bovine Excision) show many similar commonalities. These types of cases have no blood around the mutilated bodies of the animals, there are no signs of animals around the body, actually animals tend to stay away from the body. Certain body parts are removed from the mutilated body such as the eyes, jaw, ear, stomach and most commonly the These parts have been removed in a surgical manner. In many cases these types of mutilations have occurred during or after a thunderstorm. Loud noises around the mutilation have been reported in the area very similar to a jet as well as helicopters have been reported around these areas. In many cases UFOs have been reported with the area of the Theories are starting to show that another species is conducting tests on these animals possibly to see what consequences these animals have on the human race since beef is a very popular food for the human race. Another theory is that these mutilations are being done as a form of genetics and DNA since cattles DNA is very similar to humans. This could explain why the reproductive organs are generally the most commonly removed body part. Cattle mutilation is the apparent killing and then mutilation of cattle under unusual or anomalous circumstances. Sheep and horses have allegedly been mutilated under similar circumstances. A hallmark of these incidents is the surgical nature of the mutilation, and unexplained phenomena such as the complete draining of the animal's blood, loss of internal organs with no obvious point of entry, and surgically precise removal of the reproductive organs and In most cases mutilation wounds appear to be clean, and carried out surgically. Mutilated animals are usually, though not always reported to have been drained of blood, and have no sign of blood in the immediate area or around their wounds. The absence of tracks or footprints around the site of the mutilated carcass is often considered a hallmark of cattle mutilation. However, in some cases, strange marks or imprints near the site have been found. Domestic animals are also reported to be "visibly agitated" and "fearful" of the carcass. Another reported event is that the animal is found 'dumped' in an area where there are no marks or tracks leading to or from the carcass, even when it is found in soft ground or mud. The surgical-type wounds tend to be cauterized by an intense heat and made by very sharp/precise instruments, with no bleeding evident. Often flesh will be removed to the bone in an exact manner, consistent across cases, such as removal of flesh from around the jaw exposing the A man comes across a mutilated cow with clean severed entrails in the middle of nowhere in the mountains of Northern New Mexico. No blood, no bones only strange viscera and an unusual lack of any rancid smell.Since the time that reports of purported animal mutilations began, the causes have been attributed variously to natural decomposition, normal predators, cryptid predators (like the Chupacabra), extraterrestrials, secretive governmental or military agencies, and cults. "Mutilations" have been the subject of two independent federal investigations in the United States. In addition to the physical aspects of the mutilation, ranchers commonly claim to find unusual signs upon or after the discovery of a mutilated animal. Most of these hypotheses are based on the premise that earthly entities could not perform such clean dissections in such a short space of time without being seen or leaving evidence behind at the mutilation site, and around laboratory reports suggesting the use of unconventional cutting tools and other unexpected phenomena. Some suggest that as cows make up a significant part of the global human diet a study is being carried out on this element of the human food Numerous speculative theories abound, but others center on possible specific nutrient requisites, hormone procurement, species propagation (reproduction), and rote experimentation on mammalian Cattle Mutilation Hypotheses After coming under increasing public pressure, Federal authorities launched a comprehensive investigation of the mutilation phenomena. In May 1979, the case was passed on to the FBI, which granted jurisdiction under Title 18 (codes 1152 and 1153). Various hypotheses suggest cattle mutilations have been committed by aliens gathering genetic material for unknown purposes. Some suggest that as cows make up a significant part of the global human diet a study is being carried out on this element of the human food chain. was dubbed "Operation Animal Mutilation." The investigation was funded by a US$44,170 grant from the Law Enforcement Assistance Administration, and was headed by FBI agent Kenneth Rommel. "Operation Animal Mutilation" had five key objectives: To determine the reliability of the information on which the grant was based, which entailed gathering as much information as possible about the cases reported in New Mexico prior to May 1979 To determine the cause of as many mutilations as possible, especially those reported in New Mexico To determine if livestock mutilations as described constitute a major law enforcement problem If these mutilations do constitute a major law enforcement problem, to determine the scope of the problem and to offer recommendations on how to deal with it If it is shown that the mutilation phenomenon is not a law enforcement problem, to recommend that no further law enforcement investigations be Rommel's final report was 297 pages long and cost approximately US$45,000. It concluded that mutilations were predominantly the result of natural predation, but that some contained anomalies that could not be accounted for by conventional wisdom. The FBI was unable to identify any individuals responsible for the

Get some otherworldy tales with several new paranormal books! New York Times bestselling author Seanan McGuire returns to her InCryptid series and ballroom dancer/monster hunter Verity Price in "Midnight Blue-Light Special." Verity belongs to the Price family, a group of cryptid hunters once involved with the Covenant of St. George. But when the Covenant wanted to kill on sight cryptids who just wanted to blend in and get on with their lives, the Price family left. Ever since the Covenant has had it out for them and wants them dead. Verity just wants to help police the cryptids of Manhattan and win a few ballroom dancing awards. To complicate things is her on-again/off-again boyfriend and Covenant member Dominic De Luca. When Dominic shows up at Verity's job at a nightclub run by a pyjama-wearing Boogeyman with a warning that the Covenant are coming to town, Verity knows she must take it seriously. She must warn her cryptid friends to lie low until they leave. And she must deal with the knowledge that Dominic could very well sell her out to his cohorts. Will Verity live to dance another day? This is a fun new series with a new twist on the "monster hunter" genre. Verity is like a ballroom Buffy, who might befriend the cryptids, but isn't above putting an errant one down either. And her romance with Dominic will keep readers guessing. "Midnight Blue-Light Special" is published by Daw. It is $7.99. New York Times bestselling author Rob Thurman goes back in time with Cal and his brother Niko in "Slashback." Caliban and Niko make their living killing monsters. Though Cal has some monster blood in him, he attempts to keep that side of him at bay with mixed results. But the boys get a warning that the legendary Spring-heeled Jack has his sights set on them because of their past and the danger heats up. As young teens, Cal and Niko faced off against a human serial killer that has ties to their current threat. And an old friend helps the boys find out a secret about their past. Told in alternating past and current storyline chapters, readers will get to see how Cal grew into the scary fighter he is now, as well as one of their first fights into the dark side. For a good look into the pasts of favorite characters, fan will love taking this flashback ride with Cal and Niko. "Slashback" is published by Roc. It is $7.99 and 337 pages long. #1 New York Times bestselling author Patricia Briggs tells another story of Mercy Thompson in "Frost Burned." Mercy is just getting used to married life with pack Alpha Adam, and is looking forward to the holiday season with he and his daughter. But when she and her stepdaughter are in a crash, little do they know that one accident may have saved them. Returning home, Mercy finds the pack is gone and all evidence points to someone, possibly government agents, have abducted them. Someone wants Adam to murder an outspoken politician, and the pack may be the collateral they need to force him to do it. Mercy is determined to not only save her husband, but her pack as well, and isn't above getting a little dangerous herself. Who or what is pulling the strings behind the scenes? Even Mercy may be shocked in the end. Briggs' series continues to entertain and delight fans. There's always twists and turns in her adventures, double-crosses and shocker moments, and Mercy navigates them with relatability. Readers will still enjoy visiting Mercy's world after seven books. "Frost Burned" is published by Ace. It is $26.95 and 340 pages long. New York Times bestselling author MaryJanice Davidson collects three novellas featuring two favorite characters and a few new ones in "Undead and Underwater." In'Super, Girl!' the new hire to Ramouette, a company who makes target silhouettes, Linus, doesn't know what to think about the job he's gotten himself into. Not only is the boss never around because she's more interested in turning broomball into an Olympic sport, but everyone in the company is a bit...off. The receptionist is literally referred to as Audrey the Receptionist, there's a 29-year-old worker everyone refers to as "the Old Coot" and the head of Human Resources, Hailey, is gorgeous, funny, refers to her coworkers as her minions, and has been able to range paid holidays for just about every holiday invented, like Greenery Day. And while Linus is intrigued by Hailey, he can't help but notice that she's late to work all the time, looking like she's been fighting someone...is there a superhero in the company's midst? And if there is, does that mean there's also a supervillian? In 'Undead and Underwater,' Betsy takes time out of time traveling to help one of her vampire court's daughter. And little does she know, but Madison also works for a mermaid named Fred, who has an attitude that rivals Betsy's. Will these two be able to work together to help Madison or will a vampire versus mermaid fight break out? In 'Incomer,' the story of Lara Wynham, future leader of the werewolf Pack, goes back and forth between the present and the future to tell of her rise to leadership and the hot alpha male that threatens her heart, Jack Gardner. Lara doesn't need trouble and that's all that Jack is, but will she give in to the temptation? These three stories are full of sarcastic heroes that still endear, sexy romance and plenty of pop culture references. I really enjoyed Davidson's look into the superhero world, but wished the story didn't feel as rushed and confusing. And it's always a delight to see Betsy again, the vampire queen with an obsession with shoes. "Undead and Underwater" is published by Berkley. It is $15 and 331 pages long. Contact Amy Phelps at [email protected]

Monday, August 17, 2009 Some of the stresses and strains were caused by events beyond anyone's control, but others were caused by the selfish behaviour of various people who really should have known better. Other members of the team, however, were remarkable, but I am only going to single out three of them: David, Max, and my darling wife Corinna. I could not have done what I have done without you. I also want to thank Roy and Kaye Braund-Phillips for their immense amount of help. I am sorry that this year's event has been such a strain on you, and I apologise unreservedly for the behaviour of some of my associates and crew. Other highlights were the gloriously surreal bar on the Thursday night run by my stepdaughter Olivia, her boyfriend Ivan, and their friends Jenny and Chris. All four of them were fantastic. Ronan C. who, despite health problems, flew from Ireland at his own expense to be with us, and Nick R. who did much the same from Dallas need to be congratulated, and I would like to thank everyone at The Farmers Arms and the Woolsery Community Centre for everything that they have done. There are going to be changes next year, but there will still be a next year, and the changes will not effect the essential character of the event. It will still be a three day event, there will still be a cocktail party, there will still be a gloriously surreal mix of art, science and stupidity, and on the third week in August 2010 there will be the eleventh Weird Weekend. The chemosit or Nandi bear was the terror of east Africa in the early part of the 20th century. Much feared by even the bravest hunter it was said to feed on the brains of its victims and be able to tear through the toughest barriers to get at livestock. Some tribespeople even took to wearing protective headgear in case of a nandi bear attack. As the name suggests the creature was bear-like in appearance, though there are no known bears in Africa since the extinction of the Atlas Mountains bear. It has been postulated that the nandi bear is a giant hyena, a monster baboon, an out of place chimpanzee or an outsized ratel. Indeed it may be a composite bogeyman based on all of these animals and more. Bernard Heuvalmans referred to it as the African proteus. But no one reports seeing it, being attacked by it, or losing livestock to it anymore. Another east African cryptid that seems to have vanished off the map is the mngwa or 'strange one'; a lion-sized, tabby-coloured cat. It is widespread in east African legend but beginning in the 1920s these legends became very real for the folks living in coastal villages around Lake Tanganyika when one of these ‘mythical’ beasts began to kill and eat people. From the descriptions by both western hunters and natives it seems that the mngwa may have been a melonotic leopard. This very rare colour mutation leads to a tabby like coat. Then again a leopard is not nearly so large as a lion. Once more the beast seems to have vanished, with no recent sightings. There could be several reasons for these African cryptids' disappearance. Perhaps as the century progressed the old tribal stories and beliefs died out. If the Nandi bear was nothing but a composite of various creatures then the people may have begun to see it for what it was and not blame attacks on people and livestock by rouge hyenas on the Nandi bear. Maybe the mngwa attacks in the 1920s were just one abnormally large melonotic leopard. Once the beast died the mngwa switch back to just being a creature from folktales. The lack of consistent reports for both these beasts argues against them being an unknown species and supports the idea of unusual individuals of a known species. But then again maybe the Nandi bear and the mngwa do still prowl the night, but the reports never leave the remote African villagers. Having recently been away in my dream world - a bird rescue centre - feeding and caring for various forms of avian life, and catching quite a few forms of bird parasite life (all gone now, luckily), I havent been able to blog. I apologise to my regular reader, whoever you are (if I have one) for slacking, but during my time at this bird rescue centre I was not slacking. How do I know this? Because from 10 pm to about 7.30 am I was out cold like a stone. This is very rare for me as I'm a teenager. We normally have nocturnal habits, creeping around dark, dank places, and waiting to pounce upon and frighten O.A.P s ... that's according to the newspapers anyway! But despite the change of my normal routine I have to say that I had a great time while I was staying there. I had the privilege of holding a cormarant, learning how to feed a gannet, and getting covered in bird mites. Plus I now have seven pigeons, including two racers and a young wood pigeon. I'm quite grateful for a few more birds as at the moment my barn owl Boedicia is moulting, and therefore I am unable to fly her. Also, shortly before I went away, I spotted an article about a strange, three-toed, cloven-hooved footprint in the local paper, which certainly does intrigue the mind. But more on that next week. But apart from that all has been very quiet; all I can say is I hope I've spoken too soon.... There is a lot of hard work done behind the scenes every Weird Weekend and in the months leading up to it that people don’t get to see and for the past few weeks nobody at the CFZ has been standing still and we really couldn’t have done it without help from other people in the village, right down to speakers and punters that have helped us out too. I’d like to take this opportunity to offer up my own thanks to everyone who has helped us out this weekend. Dr Dan deserves a huge thank you from me in particular. I look forward to seeing everyone who came at next year's event too and to meeting all the people reading the blog over the weekend that have finally been convinced to come to the Weird Weekend in 2010.

Ed Snowden is one of the great heroes of our time. Or maybe he’s one of the great villains. But despite the range of views on the subject, few people doubt that the government secrets he’s released are indeed true. That’s if, like me, you get your facts from old-fashioned “reputable sources” like the BBC and the Guardian. But there’s a whole generation now who get their news from Facebook shares and similar social media. And for them, Ed Snowden is one of the great clowns of our time. 5 July, Snowden revealed the truth about UFOs: “There is a species more intelligent than homo sapiens living in the mantle of the Earth. It makes sense, if you think about it, because that is the only place where conditions have been more or less stable for billions of years... The president receives daily briefings about their activities. Analysts believe their technology to be so far advanced that we stand little chance of survival in any potential war. The general sentiment is that we are but ants from their perspective.” On 10 July, Snowden “released documents... proving that the High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program, or HAARP, is definitively engaged in a program of assassination and mind control.” The following day, 11 July, Snowden uncovered “the shocking truth behind Chemtrails” (HAARP and Chemtrails have been mainstays of hardcore conspiracy theory for the last two decades, although they’re not particularly well known to the public at large). On 16 July Snowden revealed the existence of “a fleet of undercover prototype cars equipped with long-range neuroimaging sensors” that “carve carefully planned routes through urban and suburban centers, collecting detailed brain scans of sleeping citizens” in order to “determine whether your dreams indicate a subversive mindset”. This may sound like something out of a novel by Philip K. Dick, but it’s pretty mild compared with “Snowden’s greatest leak” that came a few days earlier (12 July): “God, according to documents released by Snowden, is a mechanic living in Cuthbert Georgia who goes by the name of Wilbur Mercer... Snowden quickly determined that our universe exists inside of a video game system which is owned and used by Mr. Mercer.” Wilbur Mercer, of course, is the name of a character in Philip K. Dick’s 1968 novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, and the image of “Wilbur Mercer” accompanying the article is in fact a photograph of Dick himself. Although many people will have encountered these Ed Snowden stories via second or third order Facebook shares, they are all ultimately derived (as you can see from my links) from the Internet Chronicle – which is one of a number of popular websites devoted to satire. Satire has been around since ancient times, and for most of its history people never had much trouble recognizing it for what it is. Partly this is a self-selection effect. The only people who would have been exposed to satire—which after all is essentially a branch of literature—would have been relatively sophisticated, educated individuals who knew what they were letting themselves in for. But the rise of the internet and social media has seen a sudden democratization of the written word. I suspect that many Facebook users don’t even have the word “satire” in their vocabulary, any more than other literary terms like “semicolon” or “metaphor”. Everyone understands what humour and fiction are, so there’s no problem with works of satire that obviously fall in one or both these categories. The trouble starts when you get on to the kind of deadpan satire in which the humorous content is subtle and the fiction is presented as fact. The phenomenon actually goes back to before the days of the internet. Last year I did a post about Ronald Knox’s First Radio Hoax, way back in 1926. It seems clear to me that Knox never thought of his broadcast as a hoax at all, but as a piece of outrageous satire. He simply overestimated the intellectual sophistication of certain segments of the listening public (not to mention the media). One of the newsfeeds I follow avidly is “New Urban Legends” from snopes.com. As they repeatedly emphasize, “no satire can be so obvious that someone won’t take it literally”. Scarcely a week goes by without some pretty far-fetched story being debunked with the information that (a) it originated on a website that specializes in satirical content, and (b) it was subsequently “circulated via social media, with many of those who encountered the item mistaking it for a genuine news article”. The great majority of the satirical pieces that go viral on social media revolve around the perennially dull subject (for us non-Americans) of U.S. politics. That’s even true of the Ed Snowden stories mentioned above, despite their superficial veneer of coolness (e.g. UFOs). But I came across one notable exception a few days ago: “Bow Valley flooding exposes rotting carcass of a Sasquatch. Legendary Cryptid believed to be a surviving Gigantopithecus”. The article comes complete with a photograph and some quotes by credible-sounding experts. One of these is named as “Coren Lowman” – a play on “Loren Coleman” that will sound warning bells for cryptozoological insiders, but probably won’t register with the casual reader. Sadly, the whole thing is spoiled by the disclaimer at the bottom of the piece: “The above article is SATIRE. This article is provided as humour and any article, image or photograph held out as news is satirical and faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or event of real persons.” Even so, I saw the item linked as “real news” a couple of times on Facebook. Perhaps the most worrying thing about the article is that it actually sounds more credible—with a better understanding of zoology and natural history—than most of the Bigfoot-related news items I’ve seen on the web this year!

The third DLC Pack available for Call of Duty®: Ghosts, Invasion is set to release July 3rd on PlayStation Network and PC. Invasion features four Multiplayer maps and Episode 3: Awakening – the next installment in Extinction’s four-part episodic narrative. Pharaoh - An abandoned archeological site of an ancient Egyptian palace. Those most adventurous to explore this multi-level map will be handsomely rewarded with its deepest secrets. Departed - A rural Mexican town amidst the Dia de los Muertos (the Day of the Dead) celebration. Complete a Field Order to unlock the Death Mariachi; armed with dual-wielding pistols that turn downed enemies into your own squadmates. Mutiny - A pirate hideout in a secretive Caribbean cove. This eerie map includes an hauntingly unique killstreak: an escort of ghostly pirates to send your opponents to Davy Jones' Locker. Favela - A refreshed version of the fan-favorite Call of Duty®: Modern Warfare® 2 map. Return to Brazil to fight on the connected rooftops and narrow passageways. Episode 3: Awakening - Descend into an alien underworld and strike at the mysterious puppet-masters behind the Cryptid invasion. Three new Cryptid species await players, along with some familiar enemies and allies.

as many of you know, i was away two weeks ago visiting my pal and comics legend, nick cardy. the plan was for us to get a chance to hang around a bit (since we had both opted to skip the convention circuit this year...) and for me to be able to (finally!) get nick on film telling some of his wonderful; stories about his life in comics and his time in the war (WWII, that is.) it also gave me a chance to play mr.fixit around his house a bit and help him organize some of his artwork and stuff. while i was there we also played host to renee witterstaetter and michael golden who came by to help nick put together a lot of his unpublished artwork from over the years that renee intends to compile in a definitive book (or two!) on nick and his life as an artist. renee will also be producing a dvd (or two!) of nick using the very rough footage i took (her production editor better be a miracle worker!) as well as segment i filmed of nick giving a course in cover design (using many of his classic aquaman and teen titans covers!) and an over-his-shoulder, inside the artist's studio segment as nick masterfully illustrates a (gorgeous!) sketch of wonder woman. (which i will show it to you next week 'cause...uh...he gave it to me.) anyway, here are a couple of the pics i took, mostly of michael and renee looking on as nick "discovers" some wonderful treasures in his old portfolios. i've posted many of nick's classic and dynamic covers here time and time again, so i won't repeat myself here--but here is a recent article that my pal (and baltimore comiccon coordinator and traffic manager extraordinaire) brad tree sent along to me last week. check this out... oh, and here's a pic that renee took of michael, nick, and me. (that dazed look on my face is 'cause i'm realizing that i'm hanging out with two of my absolute heroes!) a couple months ago, shortly after i lost jake, i was in a... harsh mood, i guess you could say. craig might tell you that i'm still there, but i hope it's getting better... anyway, he sent me a pin-up from a guy he met at the boston show (...i think...right, craig?) that i was just in no place to really absorb and appreciate. craig said that we would use it as a pin-up in the upcoming series and i said, cool, 'tever, and filed it away, not really giving it a second look. in the meantime, i've become friends with eric henson on facebook and was blown away by a kinda try-out page that he drew of our kids, the perhapanauts! i told him so and he told me that there was a second page--a splash--and i begged him to show me! and now i'm showin' you! wicked awesome, right?! needless to say, eric and i are trying to find a way to get him on a perhapanauts back-up story! probably in the same issue we feature his spectacular pin-up! and for those of you who don't think that i've already dropped enough names with renee, michael, and nick... sharon and i took terry out to dinner for his birthday the other night and i was thrilled that i could give him something that he didn't already have! (terry has everything--especially every toy you could think of! except...) a mcfarlane quick draw mcgraw/el kabong figure! at least, he thought he didn't have one...it could be in there, somewhere... but, of course, terry always comes bearing some gifts of some sort for me--dvds of various seasons of various sitcoms from the fifties, duplicate JLU action figures that came in some shady ebay deal, same with old archie comics, pep comics, betty and veronicas. this time he handed me the latest issue of toyfare asking if i'd seen that somebody up there likes us! what a great thrill to be mentioned in their pages--but also to share a page with the likes of fringe, batman, she-ra, and william shatner! are we pop culture, or what?! "Despite a highly erratic publishing schedule, The Perhapanauts is a dynamic comic book about mystery monsters joining forces for good. The Perhapanauts Vol.0 finally collects all the original hard-to-find miniseries into one cryptid compendium! imagecomics.com" and that's it for me! i got so much to do before i leave. smell ya later!

Posted by: Loren Coleman on December 10th, 2010 Top Ten Cryptozoology Deaths of 2010 by Loren Coleman, Cryptozoology A to Z. It is that time of year when we gather our notes on the ones we were sorry to see exit the field of cryptid studies. The year of 2010 will be recalled as one in which cryptozoology and hominology did not see any major figures die. Truth be told, it was not a year in which we lost a Grover Krantz, a Rene’ Dahinden, a Bernard Heuvelmans, or a Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer. Nevertheless, all deaths are heartfelt, and we pause to remember those who passed away, with respect for them and for all they shared and created. Interestingly, this year may be remembered more for those who had some effect on the popular cultural aspect of cryptozoology than on the actual fieldwork and research segments of our science. In this regard, for example, Frank Frazetta’s art will be long recalled for reinforcing the vision of Mothman as a giant insect, and Charles B. Pierce will grow more legendary as the total influence of The Legend of Boggy Creek is increasingly realized. It was the kind of year where those who died often made quiet ripples that will wash over the field for decades to come. Our deepest condolences to the close friends and families of those who are on this list and those who perhaps could have been. We celebrate their efforts beyond this moment. Ed Ragozzino, 79, the director of the classic film, Sasquatch, the Legend of Bigfoot (1977) died on January 30, 2010, not far from his home in Eugene, in a medical center in Springfield, Oregon. Obit. Alfred Gregory, just three days shy of 97, mountaineer, explorer, official photographer to the British expedition which made the first ascent of Everest, and a Yeti tracker in 1953, died February 9, 2010, near Melbourne, Australia. Obit. Charles B. Pierce, 71, independent filmmaker and director of the famed The Legend of Boggy Creek, died March 5, 2010, in Dover, Tennessee. Obit. The actor Peter Graves, 83, best remembered by cryptozoology fans for his role of narrator and on-camera in-field investigator in the documentary, The Mysterious Monsters (1976), died on March 14, 2010, at his home in Pacific Palisades, California. Obit. George W. Maugans III, 64, an active member of the Eastern Puma Research group, died May 2, 2010, at his Baltimore-area home. Obit. Frank Frazetta, 82, artist and illustrator of cryptids, including Mothman, died on May 10, 2010, in Ft. Myers, Florida. Obit. Roy Pinney, 98, cryptozoologist, herpetologist, professional photographer, writer, journalist, war correspondent, pilot, spelunker, the former president of the New York Herpetological Society, author of The Snake Book, and a good friend of zoologist Ivan T. Sanderson, died August 9, 2010, in Manhattan, New York. Obit. Erik Knatterud, retired teacher, Norwegian cryptozoologist, Sea Serpent investigator, cryptid artist, and hairy hominoid researcher, died on September 5, 2010, at the age of 66 years old, in Bratlien, Norway. Obit. Laurelyn Fanshier, Bigfoot researcher and Sasquatch forum moderator, of Tulsa, died on September 22, 2010, in Mannford, Oklahoma. Obit. Steve “Indy” Pickett, a Bigfooter formerly of Indiana and presently of Ohio, 38, died suddenly on December 13, 2010. Obit. Loren Coleman is one of the world’s leading cryptozoologists, some say “the” leading. Certainly, he is acknowledged as the current living American researcher and writer who has most popularized cryptozoology in the late 20th and early 21st centuries. Starting his fieldwork and investigations in 1960, after traveling and trekking extensively in pursuit of cryptozoological mysteries, Coleman began writing to share his experiences in 1969. An honorary member of Ivan T. Sanderson’s Society for the Investigation of the Unexplained in the 1970s, Coleman has been bestowed with similar honorary memberships of the North Idaho College Cryptozoology Club in 1983, and in subsequent years, that of the British Columbia Scientific Cryptozoology Club, CryptoSafari International, and other international organizations. He was also a Life Member and Benefactor of the International Society of Cryptozoology (now-defunct). Loren Coleman’s daily blog, as a member of the Cryptomundo Team, served as an ongoing avenue of communication for the ever-growing body of cryptozoo news from 2005 through 2013.

Age: 7 (which is 26 in yeti years) Race: humanoid cryptid Body Type: Slender but athletic Height: 6' 9" (without my platform shoes) Looks: I've been told I look like a dead cactus. Also, I've got a bigfoot, a sasquatch that tells good time, and abominable breath. Location: wooded regions of the Himalayas, where there is an abundance of gnomes to pester Astrological Sign: Sasquatcharius Religion: I believe in a Heavenly Yeti

Continuing a years-old tradition that pisses off PlayStation owners every time it’s rubbed in their face, Activision will release the next batch of COD DLC on an Xbox platform first. The latest entry is Call of Duty: Ghosts Invasion, which will see a June 3 release date on Xbox One and Xbox 360. All other platforms — PS4, PS3, and even PC — will have to wait four to six weeks to see a Call of Duty: Ghosts Invasion release date on their system. Call of Duty: Ghosts Invasion is the third DLC pack for COD Ghosts. Call of Duty: Ghosts Invasion includes four new multiplayer maps and “Episode 3: Awakening,” the next chapter in Extinction’s four-part episodic narrative. COD: Ghosts Invasion will be available on its own for $14.99, or as part of the $49.99 Call of Duty: Ghosts DLC Season Pass, which gives fans access to all four Ghosts DLC Packs set to release in 2014 (Onslaught, Devastation, Invasion and Nemesis). Invasion’s four new small-to-medium-sized multiplayer maps each have a distinct look, feel and unique killstreak. Departed is a medium-sized map set in a rural Mexican town during the Dia de los Muertos celebration. The colorfully decorated streets, vendor carts and storefronts provide ample cover for run-and-gunners, and players that complete the map’s unique Field Order will unlock the Death Mariachi killstreak. Armed with dual-wielding pistols, the Death Mariachi settles scores, with each kill turning enemy players into another member of the band, and a temporary squad mate. The second new map, Pharaoh, is the abandoned archeological site of an ancient Egyptian palace. Players will have to be on the lookout for collapsing monuments and urns full of flesh-eating scarabs, among other surprises in this multi-level map. Inside the palace, gamers will battle through multiple chambers ideal for close-quarters combat and short-range weapons, all under the watchful eye of Anubis, the half-jackal/half-human, protector of the dead, who will handsomely reward players who unlock this map’s Field Order. The third map in Call of Duty: Ghosts Invasion is called Mutiny. As you might gather from the title, the map takes place on a remote Caribbean island harboring an eerie pirate hideout, complete with abandoned trading posts and prison cells. Speed and stealth are a must as players navigate the narrow and intertwining pathways. However, the pirate ship moored in the center of the map will become vulnerable to enemy fire from the numerous flanking routes created by the map’s horseshoe shaped dock. Players that unlock Mutiny’s Field Order will find themselves escorted by two ethereal ghost pirates, who will happily send enemy combatants down to Davey Jones’ locker on their behalf. Invasion’s fourth multiplayer map is a refreshed version of Favela from Modern Warfare 2. Since its original release, the Brazilian shantytown has seen substantial change. Buildings once under construction are now complete, while others have crumbled into a state of disrepair. Players must avoid falling to their death as they traverse the map from one building to the next, with ramshackle scaffolding creating varied pathways between structures, and enemy snipers taking advantage of the long sightlines. Players who complete the Field Order in “Favela” will be able to call in heavy air support from a nearby Y-8 Gunship to bring the rain with a 105mm cannon, a 40mm auto-cannon and a 25mm cannon. Finally, the Call of Duty: Ghosts Invasion DLC pack includes Extinction’s Episode 3: Awakening. In Awakening, the team descends into the perilous alien underworld to strike at the subterranean fortress of the Ancestors – the mysterious puppet-masters behind the Cryptid invasion. Armed with a range of new hi-tech weapons and equipment, the team must penetrate a series of defensive barriers to reach the Ark and unlock the secrets of the Ancestors’ psychic powers. As the final battle draws closer, the fate of the Earth and the future of the human race hang in the balance. Again, the Call of Duty: Ghosts Invasion release date is June 3 for Xbox One and Xbox 360 alone. A PS4, PS3 and Windows PC version of Call of Duty: Ghosts Invasion is likely four to six weeks away.

Posted by: Craig Woolheater on April 28th, 2014 Eric, Lon, Sean and Amy are back from Phenomacon this week and live in the BTE Studios to share their Phenomacon experiences in the first half hour. Then we welcome back our good friend JC Johnson from Crypto 4 Corners and first time guest Navajo Elder Chief Leonard Dan, also a Crypto 4 Corner member. JC and Leonard will be discussing some recent breaking developments in the 4 corners area, recent cases, cryptid signtings and updating us some ongoing investigations. As it has in the past, Sunday nights show promises to be another intriguing and unusual trips through the world of the unknown that you don’t want to miss. About JC Johnson – Jc Johnson founded and leads “Crypto Four Corners” a group of enthusiastic and determined group of researchers investigating a variety of strange creatures in the Four Corners areas of Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico and Utah. The group’s research includes Bigfoot, Giant Snakes, Werewolves, living dinosaurs, dragons, centaurs, giant birds, Native American “Skin Walkers”, The Night Stalker, and other strange cryptids reported in this remote and wild region. In addition to eye-witness accounts, they investigate mysterious livestock deaths, and other suspicious incidents. JC has been a professional river and outdoor guide for more than 20 years. His knowledge, attunement to nature, and underlying faith make him a driving force in the field of Cryptozoology and paranormal research. JC also serves as President of the North American Forean Society. His amazing experiences will make you rethink the unexplained, and leave you wondering whether you should check under your bed tonight before you dare close your eyes. About Chief Leonard Dan – Cheif Leonard dan is an elder in the Navajo nation and a member of Crypto Four Corners. Chief Leonard Dan brings with him his knowledge of wildlife, traditions and history of the area. Dan is a real asset to the team and he has had an encounter with what he believes to be the legendary “Skinwalker” on his ranch, many years ago. To learn more about Crypto Four Corners visit them on Facebook. Co-founder of Cryptomundo in 2005. I have appeared in or contributed to the following TV programs, documentaries and films: OLN's Mysterious Encounters: "Caddo Critter", Southern Fried Bigfoot, Travel Channel's Weird Travels: "Bigfoot", History Channel's MonsterQuest: "Swamp Stalker", The Wild Man of the Navidad, Destination America's Monsters and Mysteries in America: Texas Terror - Lake Worth Monster, Animal Planet's Finding Bigfoot: Return to Boggy Creek and Beast of the Bayou.

V.20 No.28 | The Daily Word with Migraines, Mullah Omar and Manatees By Tom Nayder [ Wed Jul 20 2011 10:47 AM ] Taliban leader Mullah Omar may be dead. House Republicans pass a crazy Tea Party debt plan. Albuquerque judge arrested and charged with rape. Former Santa Fe county sheriff faces 250 counts of embezzlement. Check out this fake Chinese Apple Store. Photos from a ghost town in Cyprus, untouched by humans for almost 40 years. McDonald's will open a 10,000 square foot, double-decker restaurant in London, for the 2012 Summer Olympics. Your crazy wife will love these crazy milk ads. Game of Thrones adds two new cast members. 75 ex-football players sue the NFL for concealing brain injury risks. The Hubble Space Telescope discovers a new moon around Pluto. South Park will continue for at least two more seasons. Loch Ness-type cryptid sighted in Alaska. Here's the new Spike Jonze directed Beastie Boys video! Hozier • blues, indie, soul at Sandia Resort & Casino Harvest Gala: Santa Fe Animal Shelter's Barkin' Ball at Santa Fe Farmers' Market Pavilon Southwest Gay & Lesbian Film Festival at Guild CinemaMore Recommended Events ››

Join local author & paranormal investigator, J. Nathan Couch, on a journey to the places in southern Washington County that harbor bottomless lakes, spook lights, and cryptid sightings. Look for cemetery spook lights, share appetizers with a murdered lady of the night, search for the Bearwolf, maybe even encounter the Goat Man! Meet at the Old Courthouse Museum, 320 S. 5th Avenue, West Bend at 5:45pm. We’ll return to Old Courthouse Museum around 9:00pm. Bring your camera! You’ll never know what you’ll encounter! $35.00/person, $30.00/Washington County Historical Society member. Includes: light appetizers at Tally Ho Pub & Grill, trivia game, and prizes. Recommended for ages 10 and up. Contact Jessica Sawinski Couch at [email protected] or 262-335-4679 or visit www.historyisfun.com Your link to the biggest stories in the suburbs delivered Thursday mornings. Enter your e-mail address above and click "Sign Up Now!" to begin receiving your e-mail newsletter Get the Newsletter! - Ceramic Class with Carmen Bond - Community Volunteer Opportunities - Three more chances to see Falls Patio Players' 'Godspell' - Old Falls Village Halloween Family Fun Nights October 23 & 24 - A Vision for Germantown - GO Riteway Kicks Off School Bus Safety Week - October 19th - Local Contractor on Mission to Educate First Time Homeowners - HYMNS TRIUMPHANT, to be held October 17th at Holy Cross - Concordia University Presents "Faces of Depression" Art Exhibit - Bartelt Wins Two MBA Achievement Awards

Posted by: Loren Coleman on June 24th, 2008 St. John’s Day The date June 24 is one tied to some of the weirdest happenings. Enjoy the day, and keep a watch out for the unusual to occur. What’s that behind you? Here is a rundown of some previous events on this day: Knights Templars display “Mysterious Head” at Poitiers (1308). Founding of the Order of the Garter (1348). John Cabot discovers North America (1497). Galileo released (1633). “Woman of the Wilderness” utopian community arrives in America (1694). “W of W” angelic visions (1701). Grand Lodge of Freemasons inaugurated (1717). Ambrose Bierce born (1842). Red rain, Italy (1877). Ice fall, Ft. Lyon, Colorado (1877). Fall of jelly-like mass, Eton (1911). Fred Hoyle born (1915). Mick Fleetwood (1942) and Jeff Beck (1944) born. First day of “flying saucer” history, Mt. Rainier & Mt. Adams, Washington State – Kenneth Arnold sighting (1947). Filmstock fire kills seventeen people, Brussels (1947). Movie theaters evaluated during huge fire, Perth Amboy, NJ (1947). United Airlines plane struck by lightning over Cleveland (1947). Invasion of grasshoppers battled with flame-throwers, Guatemala/El Salvador (1947). Woman attacked and killed by bees or wasps, Seattle (1947). Bizarre aerial sightings near Daggett, California (1950) and on Iwo Jima (1953). The deaths of various aerial and related phenomena researchers, writers, and fans (Frank Scully, June 24, 1964; Frank Edwards, near the coming midnight of the 24th, still on June 23, 1967; Arthur Bryant, June 24, 1967; Richard Church June 24, 1967; Willy Ley, June 24, 1969; Jackie Gleason, June 24, 1987). June 24, 2006 saw the death of renegade publisher Lyle Stuart who published anomalist writer Frank Edwards’ Fortean book, in 1959, Stranger than Science, a paperbook full of information on cryptozoology as well as ufology. Two Inuits kill a huge, yellow-furred bear at Rendezvous Lake, Barren Ground, Canada, June 24, 1864. The bear was similar to Arctodus simus, which died out in the Pleistocene. Naturalist Robert MacFarlane acquired the bear’s skin and skull, and shipped the remains to the Smithsonian Institution, where they were placed in storage and soon forgotten. Eventually, Dr. Clinton Hart Merriam uncovered the remains, and in 1918, he described the specimen as a new species and genus, calling it the “patriarchal bear,” with the scientific name Vetularctos inopinatus. Today, it is often recognized as a new species, Ursus inopinatus. (Thanks to Matt Bille and Mnynames.) On other June 24ths, locals have Bigfoot sightings, Logan and Union counties, Ohio (1980). Chupacabras encountered outside disco, Maria Elena, Argentina (2000). Moose hunters see Bigfoot, near Fort Simpson, NWT, Canada (2002). Mysterious fire erupts in Gallipolis, Ohio resident’s car on bridge from Ohio to Point Pleasant, West Virginia (2003). Massive unusual aerial phenomena, Xalapa, Mexico (2005). “Aren’t You Chupacabra to See Me?” airs for first time on Cartoon Network (2005). Nestle uses Bigfoot-costumed marchers to launch Kit Kat Limited Edition – Cappuccino at the Giant Mahkota Parade, Malacca, and Jusco Tebrau City, Johor (2005). June 24 was the grand opening date of Bates College Museum of Art’s “Cryptozoology: Out of Time Place Scale” exhibition (2006). St. John’s Day (”Jaanipäev”) is a major traditional holiday in Estonia, celebrated by singing around bonfires, in Estonian communities in the United States and Canada as well as in Estonia itself. The glow-worm, because it usually starts appearing around St. John’s Day, is called “Jaaniuss”–”St. John’s Worm”–in Estonian. (Thanks to T. Peter Park, who is Estonian.) Unexplained events. Mysterious fiery outbursts. Strange cryptid sightings. Beltane fires. Little people. Miracles. Bathing. Round dances. Collecting of glowworms. Folkloric incidents. Weird encounters. Cryptozoological openings. Mystery deaths. Respect the wonder and adventure of the 24th of June. What’s in the mix on this day in 2008? Loren Coleman is one of the world’s leading cryptozoologists, some say “the” leading. Certainly, he is acknowledged as the current living American researcher and writer who has most popularized cryptozoology in the late 20th and early 21st centuries. Starting his fieldwork and investigations in 1960, after traveling and trekking extensively in pursuit of cryptozoological mysteries, Coleman began writing to share his experiences in 1969. An honorary member of Ivan T. Sanderson’s Society for the Investigation of the Unexplained in the 1970s, Coleman has been bestowed with similar honorary memberships of the North Idaho College Cryptozoology Club in 1983, and in subsequent years, that of the British Columbia Scientific Cryptozoology Club, CryptoSafari International, and other international organizations. He was also a Life Member and Benefactor of the International Society of Cryptozoology (now-defunct). Loren Coleman’s daily blog, as a member of the Cryptomundo Team, served as an ongoing avenue of communication for the ever-growing body of cryptozoo news from 2005 through 2013.

Archive for the “River Monsters” Posted by: Shannon LeGro on November 15th, 2014 Join us this week as we speak with Taylor James Johnson out of Texas. Taylor is a radio show producer and producer/filmmaker for his production company, Taylor Trash Productions. Taylor Trash makes short and feature films, documentaries, web series, music videos and animations. He has always been interested in film and cryptozoology so it’s no surprise that he often utilizes cryptozoology as a theme for many of his films and projects and has gone on quite a few expeditions in search of Bigfoot, sea creatures in Georgia, big cats in Texas, “Hogzilla”, and Chupacabras. Read: Cryptologic Radio Archive: Taylor James Johnson of Taylor Trash Productions » Posted by: Craig Woolheater on November 13th, 2014 Airs tonight, Thursday, November 13 at 6 PM EST the Travel + Escape channel. Read: Boogeymen Canada: Lagarfljot Worm » Posted by: Craig Woolheater on September 24th, 2014 Not only seen, but also captured on video! Watch the video here on Cryptomundo. Read: Unknown Creature Seen in Chicago River » Posted by: Craig Woolheater on August 10th, 2014 Cryptozoology is going mainstream! Nowadays, people can’t get enough of bipedal monsters, lake monsters, cave monsters, flying monsters, and mutated monsters. To feed this exploding appetite for monsters, it seems you can’t turn on the TV or go to the movies without seeing one of several different types of formats. To help clarify the splintering genres, here’s an overview to help us all understand the various categories. Read: Crypto-Shows! » Posted by: Craig Woolheater on July 22nd, 2014 …a sighting of the Loch Morar Monster being briefly seen almost wholly out of the water. Read: Meanwhile at Loch Morar » Posted by: Karl Shuker on July 19th, 2014 Every self-respecting cryptozoologist knows – or should know – about the famous encounter claimed for St Columba and the Loch Ness monster during the 6th Century AD (its specific date varies from one authority to another). Having said that, in reality the encounter apparently took place not in the loch itself but in the River Ness – so the creature in question may not have had any bearing upon the cryptids allegedly frequenting the loch, but may simply have been a vagrant sea creature of known form, such as a bearded seal or possibly even a walrus. Anyway, regardless of its specifics, this encounter is, as I say, a very famous one in the annals of cryptozoology. Far less famous, however, yet no less interesting, is the ‘other’ encounter between a British saint and a lake monster. Read: The ‘Other’ Encounter Between a British Saint and a Lake Monster » Posted by: Craig Woolheater on July 16th, 2014 For hundreds of years, the marshes of Louisiana have been plagued by mysterious creatures intent on causing mass destruction. Some believe that these creatures are ones of mythical ancestry. Others believe there are more scientific explanations for the increased levels of destruction in the area over the years. Whose theories will be proven true? Featuring some familiar faces from Shark Week 2013‘s successful special Voodoo Sharks, Discovery Channel ventures deep into the bayou to explore all possible scenarios in its all new program, Beasts of the Bayou, premiering on July 10 at 10 PM ET/PT. Read: Discovery: Beasts of the Bayou » Posted by: Craig Woolheater on June 3rd, 2014 From pre-Columbian legends to modern-day eyewitness accounts, this comprehensive guide covers the history, sightings and lore surrounding the most mysterious monsters in America—including Bigfoot, the Jersey Devil, and more. Read: American Monsters: A History of Monster Lore, Legends, and Sightings in America » Posted by: John Kirk on June 2nd, 2014 The Daily Mail in my old country is claiming some bones found in Japan are those of the mythical water cryptid the Kappa. I’m not so sure. Judge for yourself people. Read: ‘Remains’ of Mythological Kappa to go on Show in Japan » Posted by: John Kirk on May 18th, 2014 An Icelandic man is claiming the $4,500 in reward money offered for photographic or videographic proof of the existence of the Lagarfljot cryptid. Read: Lake Monster Commission Needs More Time » Posted by: John Kirk on May 9th, 2014 New findings concerning Mokele-mbembe have prompted us to launch a major expedition set for late 2014. Watch out for our crowd funding event with some great concessions, coming soon. Thanks for watching! Read: Mokele Mbembe – A New Hunt Is On! » Posted by: Craig Woolheater on April 21st, 2014 I think this is as good a post as any to ask a question. What crypto shows do you/have you watched? Read: What Cryptozoology Television Shows Do You Watch? » Posted by: Nick Redfern on April 7th, 2014 “The waterways of Japan have long been home to many mysteries, with a large number of accounts of various strange creatures lurking in the depths of Japans rivers, lakes, and coasts…” Read: Mystery River Mammals of Japan » Posted by: Scott Mardis on March 14th, 2014 We must remember that the best case for most cryptids at this point in time is based on ambiguous, circumstantial evidence and any possible connections to extinct animals are tenuous at best. Assuming the bulk of descriptive and photographic evidence might be correct and bear some resemblance to a known fossil form, we should not overlook the remarkable phenomenon of convergent evolution. It’s within the realm of possibility that some recently evolved animal, unknown to us in fossil form, has developed features similar to some well known extinct forms. Read: Prehistoric Survivor Paradigm Under Fire? » Posted by: Scott Mardis on March 11th, 2014 Vertebrate paleontologist Darren Naish has posted a wonderful article on the probable behavior and lifestyles of plesiosaurs at his Scientific American blog, Tetrapod Zoology. This is obviously of interest to those in cryptozoology with questions regarding what we know about real plesiosaurs versus speculation about “long necked sea monsters”. Dr. Naish himself does not endorse the “relict plesiosaur” theory but is open minded to the giant long necked seal idea. Read: Plesiosaur Peril and the Prehistoric Survivor Paradigm »

Posted by: Loren Coleman on March 19th, 2011 An important essay entitled “Seven Mysterious Creatures of Japan” was written in 2008. It is worth your reading, especially if you are not familiar with the Hibagon (unknown anthropoid), Kusshii (lake monster), Isshii (lake monster), Giant Snake of Mt. Tsurugi, Takitaro (giant fish), Kappa (merbeing, shown above), and Tsuchinoko. Specifically, I point to the Tsuchinoko paragraphs, for at the time, a new expedition was planned for June 8, 2008, to search for this well-known Japanese cryptid. This search for the Tsuchinoko was tied to a reward for the creature. Here is what the Pink Tentacle has to share: The Tsuchinoko is a snake-like cryptid found throughout Japan, except in Hokkaido and the Okinawan islands. Reports describe the Tsuchinoko as having a thick, stubby body measuring 30 to 80 centimeters (12 to 30 in) in length, often with a distinct neck, gray, brown or black scaly skin, and venomous fangs. Some accounts suggest the Tsuchinoko has a loud, high-pitched squeak and can jump as far as one meter. The earliest known written record of the Tsuchinoko dates back to the 7th century, where it appears in the Kojiki (Records of Ancient Matters), the oldest surviving book in Japan. In some legends, the Tsuchinoko can speak, has a tendency to tell lies, and enjoys the taste of alcohol. Skeptics dismiss Tsuchinoko sightings as simple cases of mistaken identity, suggesting the creatures are nothing more than snakes in the process of digesting large meals, or perhaps even escaped exotic pets such as the blue-tongued lizard. Regardless, local tourist boards in rural areas frequently organize Tsuchinoko hunts to attract visitors, promising large sums of money to any participant lucky enough to capture one. The town of Itoigawa in Niigata prefecture, for example, has a hunt scheduled for June 8, 2008 and is offering a 100 million yen (about $1 million) reward to whoever brings one back alive. [More here, if you read Japanese.] The reward remains uncollected, as of March 2011. Loren Coleman is one of the world’s leading cryptozoologists, some say “the” leading. Certainly, he is acknowledged as the current living American researcher and writer who has most popularized cryptozoology in the late 20th and early 21st centuries. Starting his fieldwork and investigations in 1960, after traveling and trekking extensively in pursuit of cryptozoological mysteries, Coleman began writing to share his experiences in 1969. An honorary member of Ivan T. Sanderson’s Society for the Investigation of the Unexplained in the 1970s, Coleman has been bestowed with similar honorary memberships of the North Idaho College Cryptozoology Club in 1983, and in subsequent years, that of the British Columbia Scientific Cryptozoology Club, CryptoSafari International, and other international organizations. He was also a Life Member and Benefactor of the International Society of Cryptozoology (now-defunct). Loren Coleman’s daily blog, as a member of the Cryptomundo Team, served as an ongoing avenue of communication for the ever-growing body of cryptozoo news from 2005 through 2013.

VICTORIA, BC – Pro wrestler Chris Jericho was assaulted after a match this weekend. It now seems Manigator, the half-man half-alligator mutant, started the fight. While leaving the arena after a match, WWE wrestler Jericho was surrounded in his rental car by several angry fans. The fans were furious at his ‘bad guy’ wrestling persona. Jericho got out of his vehicle and a fight quickly broke out. New evidence has surfaced in which a small reptile man can be seen starting the fight. Cell phone videos show Manigator leading the crowd surrounding Jericho’s vehicle. Dropping one can of beer and spilling the other, Manigator climbed on to the hood of the car. Jericho can be heard swearing loudly at the sight of the drunken cryptid. Manigator then began jumping on the hood to further encourage the crowd, but quickly became sick and vomited all over the windshield. This was the point when Jericho had enough and got out of the car. At first he was successful in getting the crowds attention, and calming the mob by reminding them he was really Chris Irvine, and not his character Chris Jericho. But Manigator screamed “Hulkamania Forever!” and sucker punched him from behind; that was when the fight broke out in earnest. Chris Irvine has since apologized for his actions and will face no disciplinary action. Manigator is an avid wrestling fan, and often stows away on planes to attend matches outside of his native Florida. Due to this incident, his status as Persona Non Grata banning him from entering Canada has been renewed for the another year.

Cover of the first issue |Publication date||October 2007 – 2010| |Number of issues||28| |Main character(s)||John Prufrock| |Colorist(s)||Tyler Jenkins (#1-5) Fiona Staples (#6-8) Adam Guzowski (#9-16) Dave Casey (#18-28) |Creator(s)||Alex Grecian, Riley Rossmo| |The Company Of Men||ISBN 1607060175| |Thunderbirds Are Go!||ISBN 1607061341| |Blue Fairies||ISBN 1607063484| Proof is an American comic book series, published by Image Comics and created by writer Alex Grecian and artist Riley Rossmo. The story concerns John "Proof" Prufrock, a sasquatch, who works for a secret government organization. He hunts cryptids with his partner, Ginger Brown, and seeks clues to his past. The book was influenced by The X-Files and Tarzan. The character of Proof first appeared in "Berserker", a short story published in Negative Burn #7 (December 2006). The black-and-white story, also created by Alex Grecian and Riley Rossmo, shows Proof's battle with a skinwalker. The first arc, "Goatsucker", concerns a cryptid attack in Minnesota that appears to be the work of a Bigfoot-like creature. The plot also details the transfer of Ginger Brown, a young female agent, from the F.B.I to a secret organization called The Lodge. Once employed, Brown discovers that her partner is John "Proof" Prufrock, a Bigfoot who works in secret for the U.S. government. Brown's first case with The Lodge concerns El Chupacabra, a monster who masquerades as human by wearing the skin of its victims. Ginger and Proof also encounter a number of cryptozoological fauna, including jackalopes, a golem, and the Cottingley Fairies. The second arc, "The Company of Men", follows Proof as he attempts to save a juvenile dinosaur from poachers in the Congo. The third arc is called "Thunderbirds Are Go!" and features dual main plots: Ginger and Elvis journey to New York City to find Joe the golem, while Proof investigates sightings of condor-like thunderbirds in rural Illinois. "Thunderbirds Are Go!" guest-stars The Savage Dragon, another Image Comics character. The fourth arc, "Julia," is set in the mid-19th century. The story delves into Proof's past with his so-called "brother" Mi-Chen Po, and the plot is loosely based on the history of Julia Pastrana. The fifth and final collection of the series entitled "Blue Fairies" gives readers a look at the maturation of male fairies, provides a brief look at the future of The Lodge, and concludes with the story "Who Killed the Dover Demon?" The final arc of the series sets the stage for the return of the character in a series of mini-series, the first of which is called Proof: Endangered. - Proof: John Prufrock is a Bigfoot who works for The Lodge, a secret organization located in Washington. As a Bigfoot, he is vastly larger and more powerful than a human being. Proof is exceptionally cultured for a feral beast; he is often seen wearing expensive suits and custom-made shoes. - Ginger Brown: A young FBI agent, Brown is transferred to The Lodge after a fateful encounter with a golem in New York City. She is young and brash, and does not know what to make of Proof, who is her new partner. - Leander Wight: The aged and wise manager of The Lodge. He is kindly, but mysterious. - Elvis Aaron Chesnut: A small-town sheriff who ends up joining The Lodge during the "Goatsucker" arc. - Wayne Russet: The gameskeeper of The Lodge. Wayne is Proof's best friend, and a surrogate 'mother' to many of the cryptids of The Lodge. - Autumn Song: The hard-hearted assistant to Wayne. - Mi-Chen Po: A mysterious yeti who has plans for Proof and Ginger. - Colonel Werner Dachshund: A villainous poacher who kills and devours cryptids. Many fanciful creatures inhabit the world of Proof. While most harmlessly occupy the free-range habitat of The Lodge, several hostile cryptids run free in the wild and must be captured. These captures drive Proof's main plot. - Joe: An apparent golem living in New York City, Joe defends the city's Jewish population. - The Dover Demon: An enigmatic and gangly creature, the Demon can foretell the future. - Nadine: Also known as El Chupacabra or The Mexican Bigfoot, Nadine skins humans and wears their skins as a disguise. - Passenger pigeons: Birds, long thought extinct, which live in seclusion in The Lodge's habitat. - Dodos: The last of their species, the friendly dodos live in The Lodge. - Jackalopes: These horned rabbits are kept with the dodos. - The Cottingley Fairies: Vicious beasts that resemble small winged women, they are kept behind glass for the safety of the staff. Three male fairies (gigantic in size) are kept in seclusion. - Gnomes: Tiny, meat-eating creatures that resemble senior citizens. - Brownies: Hairy little creatures with hostile intent. - Mokele-mbembe: Apatosaurus-like dinosaurs that live harmlessly in The Congo. - Thunderbirds: Gigantic, vulture-like birds that are capable of snatching children. The series has been collected into trade paperback: - Goatsucker (collects Proof #1-5, 128 pages, June 2008, ISBN 1-58240-994-3) - The Company Of Men (collects Proof #6-9, 128 pages, December 2008, ISBN 1-60706-017-5) - Thunderbirds Are Go! (collects Proof #10-16, 144 pages, July 2009, ISBN 1-60706-134-1) - Julia (collects Proof #18-23, 128 pages, July 2010, ISBN 1-60706-285-2) - Blue Fairies (collects "Proof" #24-28, 128 pages, December 28, 2010, ISBN 1-60706-348-4) - Endangered (collects "Proof" #29-33, 128 pages, December 28, 2011, ISBN 978-1-60706-391-9)

Join Us On Our Search! Submit Sighting Report PBS Photo Page Historical Bigfoot Articles Keystone Sasquatch Report and other Misc Newsletters About the PBS PBS Member List Join the PBS Bigfooting and Cryptozoology News Here are a few widgets for you to click on the various stories to enjoy the latest Bigfoot and Cryptid news stories No information on this website may be republished or rebroadcast without the express permission of the Pennsylvania Bigfoot Society. All Rights Reserved.

Nemesis, the fourth and final DLC map pack in the Call of Duty: Ghosts DLC season, contains four new multiplayer maps and Exodus, the final installment in Extinction's four-part episodic saga.Gold Rush — USA An abandoned gold mine’s intricate network of narrow tunnels and perilous shafts create the ideal setting for medium to close range combat, as teams battle for control of the central elevating platform that is critical for map domination. Two working mine carts race along the abandoned tracks, offering a fast way to traverse the battlefield or provide useful cover from which to take down opponents.Subzero — Canada Subzero is set in a Canadian submarine base that has inexplicably been evacuated, with the control room, submarine pen and research facilities left eerily empty. This medium-sized map is based around a traditional three-lane design and supports all types of play styles from close-quarter to long range combat.Dynasty — China Dynasty is a Chinese lakeside village surrounded by picturesque mountains, - with vivid gardens, trees in full bloom and spectacular architecture - providing the backdrop for this medium map with a variety of elevation from the depth of the sewers to the height of bridges and windows.Showtime — Classified Showtime is based on the smallest map ever made in Call of Duty® history, the fan favorite map from Call of Duty® 4: Modern Warfare®“Shipment”. This map has been re-imagined as a futuristic death arena.Extinction — Episode 4: ExodusLocation: USA — Following your dramatic escape in Episode 3: Awakening, and the successful recovery of Dr. Cross and the cortex, your CIF Unit has flown in to help fight off the Cryptid army laying siege to the last bastion of human resistance. As the last hope for mankind, your mission is to get key personnel to safety by restoring power to the shuttle and launch it to the safety of a low earth orbit space station. Nearly every single Cryptid encountered in previous episodes of Extinction are present in Exodus, and they are joined by the Ancestors – the deadliest of enemies with a range of lethal powers including mind control and psionic attacks. Episode 4: Exodus gives the player control of their route to escape earth – choose your path, gather new intel, craft new weapons, and adapt to more varied enemies than ever before. The fate of mankind is in your hands.

The Nine Worlds. The Nine Worlds (Old Norse Níu Heimar) are the homelands of the various types of beings found in the pre-Christian worldview of the Norse and other Germanic peoples. They’re held in the branches and roots of the world-tree Yggdrasil. The Nine Worlds as a group are mentioned in a poem in the Poetic Edda. However, no source gives a list of exactly which worlds comprise the nine. Golem. Prague reproduction of Golem In Jewish folklore, a golem (/ˈɡoʊləm/ GOH-ləm; Hebrew: גולם) is an animated anthropomorphic being, created entirely from inanimate matter. Unicorn. Aliens, myths, and ancient tech. 'Atlantis' All mythologies. Norse Mythology. Conspiracy Theorists. Alternative History / Independent Perspectives - Videos/Articles. Plato's Symposium. The Symposium is one of the foundational documents of Western culture and arguably the most profound analysis and celebration of love in the history of philosophy. It is also the most lavishly literary of Plato's dialogues--a virtuoso prose performance in which the author, like a playful maestro, shows off an entire repertoire of characters, ideas, contrasting viewpoints, and iridescent styles. History and Background A symposium is literally a "drinking together"--in other words a drinking party. In Athens, in Plato's day, symposia were strictly stag affairs. As a rule, they consisted of a fairly lavish, semi-formal banquet followed by ceremonial toasts and bouts of drinking. Symposia were usually held in private homes in specially designed dining and party areas. Robin Hood - The Facts and the Fiction - Legends, Stories, Songs. IRISH LITERATURE, MYTHOLOGY, FOLKLORE, AND DRAMA. Irish PlayographyIrish Writers OnlineStudy Ireland: Poetry - BBCIrish Women Writers - M. OckerbloomThe Irish and LiteratureLyra CelticaIreland Literature Guide2002 Irish Author RoundtablePoetry Ireland / Éigse ÉireannEarly Irish Lyric Poetry - Kuno Meyer Sonnets from Ireland - E. Blomquist Colum's Anthology of Irish Verse - Bartleby.com Medieval Celtic ManuscriptsThe Book of KellsCarmina GadelicaCELT Irish Electronic Texts Irish Writers OnlineIreland Literature ExchangeBibliography of 19th-c. Irish Literature - J.M. Jonathan SwiftJonathan Swift Biography - IncompetechGulliver's Travels Project - L. Bram StokerBram Stoker's DraculaBram Stoker - P. Oscar WildeThe Official Home Page of Oscar WildeThe Oscar Wilde Collection - Russell TaylorCELT: Oscar WildeOscariana - jOnnONYCWilde Biography - BBCPoetry of Oscar Wilde - Bartleby.comThe Oscholars George Bernard ShawShaw Biography - C. William Butler YeatsYeats Biography - Gale GroupCollected Poems - W. Family tree of the Greek gods. Loch Ness Monster. The Loch Ness Monster is a cryptid, a creature whose existence has been suggested but is not discovered or documented by the scientific community. It is reputedly a large unknown animal that inhabits Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands. It is similar to other supposed lake monsters in Scotland and elsewhere, though its description varies from one account to the next. Popular interest and belief in the animal's existence has varied since it was first brought to the world's attention in 1933. Folktexts: A library of folktales, folklore, fairy tales, and mythology, page 1. Page 1 edited and/or translated by D. L. Ashliman University of Pittsburgh © 1996-2015 Return to: Abducted by Aliens. Bald Stories: Folktales about Hairless Men. Greek mythology. Greek mythology is explicitly embodied in a large collection of narratives, and implicitly in Greek representational arts, such as vase-paintings and votive gifts. Greek myth attempts to explain the origins of the world, and details the lives and adventures of a wide variety of gods, goddesses, heroes, heroines, and mythological creatures. These accounts initially were disseminated in an oral-poetic tradition; today the Greek myths are known primarily from Greek literature. Archaeological findings provide a principal source of detail about Greek mythology, with gods and heroes featured prominently in the decoration of many artifacts. Sea monster. Sea monsters are sea-dwelling mythical or legendary creatures, often believed to be of immense size. Marine monsters can take many forms, including sea dragons, sea serpents, or multi-armed beasts. They can be slimy or scaly and are often pictured threatening ships or spouting jets of water. The definition of a "monster" is subjective, and some sea monsters may have been based on scientifically accepted creatures such as whales and types of giant and colossal squid. Sightings and legends Plate ca. 1544 depicting various sea monsters; compiled from the Carta Marina. Hittite/Hurrian Mythology. The Hurrians occupied the land between the Hittites and Assyria, having descended from the mountains south of the Caspian Sea. They ruled the kingdom of Mitanni. In the late 15th century B.C. the Hittite empire's beginning is marked by an influx of Hurrian names into the royal family. Tudhalyas I (1420 B.C.) reunited Western Anatolia under Hittite rule, and retook Allepo but lost the Black Sea coast to the Kaska tribes. After some difficulty with the Mittani the Hittites resurged under King Suppilulimas around 1344-1322 taking a firmer hold on Syria. Myths and legends. Chinese mythology. Chinese mythology refers to those myths found in the historical geographic area of China: these include myths in Chinese and other languages, as transmitted by Han Chinese as well as other ethnic groups (of which fifty-six are officially recognized by the current administration of China). Chinese mythology includes creation myths and legends, such as myths concerning the founding of Chinese culture and the Chinese state. As in many cultures' mythologies, Chinese mythology has in the past been believed to be, at least in part, a factual recording of history. Thus, in the study of historical Chinese culture, many of the stories that have been told regarding characters and events which have been written or told of the distant past have a double tradition: one which presents a more historicized and one which presents a more mythological version. Moai. Moai facing inland at Ahu Tongariki, restored by Chilean archaeologist Claudio Cristino in the 1990s Moai i/ˈmoʊ.aɪ/, or mo‘ai, are monolithic human figures carved by the Rapa Nui people from rock on the Chilean Polynesian island of Easter Island between the years 1250 and 1500. Nearly half are still at Rano Raraku, the main moai quarry, but hundreds were transported from there and set on stone platforms called ahu around the island's perimeter. Almost all moai have overly large heads three-eighths the size of the whole statue. The moai are chiefly the living faces (aringa ora) of deified ancestors (aringa ora ata tepuna). The statues still gazed inland across their clan lands when Europeans first visited the island, but most were cast down during later conflicts between clans. Description List of mythologies. This is a list of mythologies of the world, by culture and region. Mythologies by region Africa Central Africa East Africa Aztec mythology. Mictlantecuhtli (left), god of death, the lord of the Underworld and Quetzalcoatl (right), god of wisdom, life, knowledge, morning star, patron of the winds and light, the lord of the West. Together they symbolize life and death. Fairy tale. Roman mythology. Roman mythology is the body of traditional stories pertaining to ancient Rome's legendary origins and religious system, as represented in the literature and visual arts of the Romans. "Roman mythology" may also refer to the modern study of these representations, and to the subject matter as represented in the literature and art of other cultures in any period. The Romans usually treated their traditional narratives as historical, even when these have miraculous or supernatural elements. The stories are often concerned with politics and morality, and how an individual's personal integrity relates to his or her responsibility to the community or Roman state. Heroism is an important theme. When the stories illuminate Roman religious practices, they are more concerned with ritual, augury, and institutions than with theology or cosmogony. John William Waterhouse: Comprehensive Painting Gallery. All mythologies. Mermaid. Grimm Brothers' Home Page. Compiled by D. L. Ashliman © 1999-2013. Anglo-Saxon paganism. Jewish folklore. Middle Ages Myth, Legend, Folklore, Ghosts. Mythology, folklore, and religion. World Myths and Legends in Art (Minneapolis Institute of Arts) Canaanite/Ugaritic Mythology FAQ. By Christopher B. Siren cbsiren at alum dot mit dot edu based on John C. Japanese mythology. Irish mythology. Bunworth Banshee. Native American mythology.

Posted by: John Kirk on August 31st, 2006 While the Kelowna detachment has had to deal with people attempting to harm an aquatic cryptid, the RCMP detachment near Peter Pond Lake in Saskatchewan has had to deal with a ‘lake monster’ which could prove harmful to humans. “Puff,” as the creature is known, has had a habit of tearing up the nets of local fishermen, so much so that they reported these occurrences to the RCMP. In addition to the fishermen who are on that lake, it is also used recreationally, so if there is something that poses a danger to persons and property, the police are obliged to check it out. Although the damaged nets are there for all to see, things have been peaceful on Peter Pond Lake and it seems “Puff” has taken on the characteristics of the dragon Peter, Paul and Mary sang about in the 60’s. The RCMP in Newfoundland have also been involved indirectly in a monster riddle that has long baffled the inhabitants of the hamlet of Roberts Arm. This delightful little town sits just to the west of the scenically beautiful Crescent Lake, reported home of an underwater cryptid named Cressie. A number of local people have seen the creature and some like Fred Parsons have spotted the beast more than once. Although the locals believe that there may be a lake monster in their local body of water, there may be a more plausible explanation for what they have seen. A number of years ago, the RCMP was called in to deal with a tragic death involving a boating accident. Divers from the RCMP were called in to assist with retrieval duties. While underwater the divers from the force were amazed to see enormous ‘eels’ in the lake. Some of these eels were very thick in size, a few of them as large around as a man’s thigh. It is very possible that these large eels are what the locals are taking for a lake monster. I have asked my friends on the force to keep me updated on anything cryptozoologically newsworthy so watch out for more on the Crypto-Police on Cryptomundo. One of the founders of the BCSCC, John Kirk has enjoyed a varied and exciting career path. Both a print and broadcast journalist, John Kirk has in recent years been at the forefront of much of the BCSCC’s expeditions, investigations and publishing. John has been particularly interested in the phenomenon of unknown aquatic cryptids around the world and is the author of In the Domain of the Lake Monsters (Key Porter Books, 1998). In addition to his interest in freshwater cryptids, John has been keenly interested in investigating the possible existence of sasquatch and other bipedal hominids of the world, and in particular, the Yeren of China. John is also chairman of the Crypto Safari organization, which specializes in sending teams of investigators to remote parts of the world to search for animals as yet unidentified by science. John travelled with a Crypto Safari team to Cameroon and northern Republic of Congo to interview witnesses among the Baka pygmies and Bantu bushmen who have sighted a large unknown animal that bears more than a superficial resemblance to a dinosaur. Since 1996, John Kirk has been editor and publisher of the BCSCC Quarterly which is the flagship publication of the BCSCC. In demand at conferences, seminars, lectures and on television and radio programs, John has spoken all over North America and has appeared in programs on NBC, ABC, CBS, PBS, TLC, Discovery, CBC, CTV and the BBC. In his personal life John spends much time studying the histories of Scottish Clans and is himself the president of the Clan Kirk Society. John is also an avid soccer enthusiast and player.

|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre| |Please help support MarksFriggin.com by using these sites:| (Sirius, XM merch and more) (Just about everything) Playboy Cyber Club Howard started the show talking about how busy his weekend was. He said he was at the taping for America's Got Talent for four days. That went from Thursday morning until Sunday at 6pm. He said Robin stopped by. He said he's really immersed in the AGT world right now. He said it's pretty wild. Howard said once he's there it's fine doing the work. He said he doesn't like the peripheral work. He said he has to do a lot of press and that's annoying. He said he did a red carpet and he's on every show he doesn't want to be on. He said the red carpet is very loud and you can't hear. He said they ask the same question over the over. He said that they were asking him about David Letterman's retirement. He said they all ask the same question. He said he wouldn't mind normally but he has to do 50 hours of talking on the show. Howard said they have a Snapple room on the show and it's like announcing you have to go to death row. He said it's like prison. Howard said it's not a put down of Howie but that's the room where Howie does his comedy. He said he does his jokes and stuff and it's funny but it's not his thing. Howard said he used to try to insert himself in it but it's like a nightmare Groundlings improv. He said Howie is in a Benjy Shtick coma kind of thing. He said he's playing a character and it's really annoying. Howard said you're in there and Howie is going to do something they ask him to do like choke on a piece of cheese or something. He said Howie is going to use him as a prop in the bit. Howard said they tell him to make something happen but he can't because Howie is so busy doing his thing. Howard said they literally push him into the bit. Howard said there are already two people doing something and they push him into it. Howard said that is Howie's room, not the Snapple room. Howard said Howie was trying to lift a couch with his chin and they told him to get in there with him. Howard said he doesn't know what to do when Howie is doing that. He said he signed up to be a judge. That's it. Howard said they don't ask him to come up with bits. He said he's ready to talk about the acts or about the show but not do that kind of thing. Howard said Howie has crazy, frantic energy and you can't get in on that. Howard said he's asked to be left out of that stuff but they say he has to be in there. Howard said he would rather be somewhere else or just doing something else. Howard said he's like the dad on Leave it to Beaver and he'd rather be reading the paper. Howard said Howie loves doing that shtick and he's great at it. Robin asked what the girls are doing when Howie is doing that thing. Howard said Heidi is right there playing along and saying ''Oh my god'' and things like that. Howard said she'll ask what else he can lift with his chin. Howard said they'll do something physical and Howie will lift her up or something. Howard said there's no room for him in that room. He said he'd rather be the killjoy because that's what he is. Robin asked how much of that they have to shoot. Howard said that's half his day. Howard said he didn't sign up to be in the Groundlings. He said it's like they're asking him to improv. He said you can see him backing out of the frame to get out of it. Howard said there's a lot go hijinks going on in there. He said they asked him to come in an hour early to do more in the Snapple room and he says no way. Howard said he said there was too much of that going on and not enough judging. Howard said they say they like the chemistry between the judges but Howard thinks that's Howie's Snapple Playroom. He said that's where Howie does his thing. Howard said it's like Howie's Playhouse. He said he'll pick something up and ad-lib with it. Howard said that's fun for Howie but not for him. Howard said he'd rather just watch it. Howard said he called his agent and asked what to do. He said Don told him to just be a good sport. Then Don came in and saw what happens in there and he said it looked like he was on the Howie show. Howard said they were in the Snapple room and Howie decided to take selfies. Howard said every time he took it he asked if they wanted to be in it with him. Then he'd block the other person out of the shot. Howard said he saw Howie doing that and then a half hour later he was still doing it. Howard said Howie came up to him asking if he wanted to take one with him. He said he keeps asking until you do it. Howard said it's like a Bar Mitzvah and you have to be a good sport about it. Howard said Howie was taking the selfie and he saw it was just him so he put a smile on his face. He said it was a fake laugh he was putting on. He said he played along with it but then it never ends. He said Howie is running around with the camera and the selfie and he just wanted to walk away from it gracefully so he wasn't insulting anyone. Howard said that was Howie's thing and it was going on for 45 minutes. Howard said he wanted to take a breather from it. He said he wanted to pull himself together and take a leak. Howard said everyone was charged up but not him. He said maybe that room just isn't for him. He said he wishes Robin had been there to see that. Robin said she noticed that every time they finished a talent they have to set up for the next act. Robin said she saw that Howie, Heidi and Mel B were all chatting but Howard is doing something else. Howard said they came over and asked him to stop scribbling. Howard said they're on their cell phones and taking selfies. He said they're into it and there's a party going on. He said he's not in it and he's fine with that. Howard said what he was actually doing was writing a suicide note. He said he was saying that he's leaving things to Robin. Robin said that her friend said that they saw Howard writing notes and they were wondering what they were about. Howard said he really enjoys doing the show. He said he likes judging. Robin said she can see that he loves it. She said it seems like the judges have gelled too. Howard said he loves doing the show but not the Snapple Room and the red carpet thing. Howard said they ask him about everything on that red carpet. He said he wishes that Howie would balance him on his chin during those red carpet things. Howard said he's trying to be a good sport but he's not comfortable doing some things. Robin said it seems to her that the Snapple room is a big deal. Howard said they're supposed to talk about the acts in the room. Howard said they also have this idea to force fun. He said they want fun and that means slapstick. He said that they want pranks and hijinks. Howard said they sent over a guitar for his dressing room. He said he didn't want that because he only gets an hour in there. Howard said they told Howie he had one in there and that's when the hijinks starts. Howard had Ralph on the phone and Ralph said he would shoot someone over there. He said he's not sure how Howard does it. Howard said they told Howie about the guitar and then Howie starts badgering him to play. He said he asked them to cut the camera off. He said he doesn't play the guitar. He said he just took a couple of lessons. Howard said it's not fun and it's not funny. He said they asked what songs he plays and he only plays 4. Ralph said that he hates that word ''Selfie'' because it's very douchy sounding. Howard said he hates that word. He said he doesn't want to be in one. Howard said he gets in the Snapple room and they're carrying on with the selfie. Ralph said Heidi loves doing it because she's beautiful. Howard said he looks like a monster in these pictures. He said he tells Heidi he doesn't like the way he looks. He said she doesn't want to hear that. Howard said he's constantly running away every minute. Howard said they're sucking the spirit out of him over there. Howard said he tells them that it's too early to go to the Snapple lounge but they say they want to shoot more in there. Howard said he leaned over to his agent at one point and asked him to just talk to him to keep him out of the bit. Ralph said he was fixing Howard's shirt for an hour to get him out of it. Howard said it's just not his thing. Ralph said they give Howie things to do over there. Howard said Howie is doing what they tell him to do. He said he likes Howie and what he does. He said he's doing a full hour of shtick over there. Howard said Howie walked in with a wig at one point. He said he knew that was going to be trouble. Howard said Howie does his thing and leaves him alone. Howard said he looked really attractive in the wig and he said he wanted to kiss him in that thing. He was throwing up as he was saying that but he didn't know what else to do. Robin asked if there are any writers there. Howard said he doesn't think so but Ralph said he saw them in the hall. He said they do have stuff they work on. Howard said he heard that Howie never uses writers. Ralph said it was just for the general idea of what to do in there. Howard said Howie has props in there so he was wondering about that. Howard said he'll come in jet packs and stuff like that. He said he wonders how it all goes down. Ralph said the girls never have to do anything in there. He said they can just stand around. Ralph said Heidi wanted to take a selfie and she couldn't understand why Howard didn't want to take one Howard said he told her no but she didn't want to take that as an answer. Howard said he didn't come there for that. Howard said he was told that he would be a judge on a show. He said he doesn't know from this selfie stuff. Howard said he spent his life staying off of Entertainment Tonight but then he has to do press. He said no offense to them there but he doesn't want to be on that show. Ralph said they had some great talent there on the show. He said Howard is really good as a judge. He said that some people are good and Howard gives them advice on how to be better. He said one girl was off key and she just needed some practice. Howard said if they just kept him in his room and brought him out to judge he'd be fine. Howard said he could be like King Kong. Howard said he just wants to be the guy who is impossible to deal with. He said he doesn't care about the other stuff they do. Howard said they have to walk down the aisle when they're introduced. Howard said he doesn't care about that. He said he just wants to be wheeled in to judge and then wheeled back out. Robin said she did notice the thing where Howard was scribbling and the other 3 judges were having fun. Howard said he doesn't know how they do it. Mariann said she took one with Heidi and she felt she should have put a paper bag on her head. Mariann said she was just caught up in the moment. Mariann said Mel was dropping the F-bomb every minute on the show. Howard let her go after that. Howard took a call from Jim in Raleigh who asked if he thinks Letterman is the best TV talk show host ever. Howard said he's got to go through that. Howard said he does love Dave. Howard said people were asking him if he would take over for Dave. Howard said he should take a break and talk about that. Howard said he thinks this has to do with Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel. He said that he doesn't think that it has to do with Jay Leno retiring. Howard said he thinks that it's kind of a bummer for Dave that Jimmy Fallon is the guy with the biggest ratings. Howard said he thinks it gets to Dave. He said it has to be debilitating to him. Howard said he thinks that what's so shocking for him is that Dave has been so important to him and so instrumental in his life. Howard said not to have him there makes him feel really old. Vinnie agreed. He said that's the way he feels too. Howard said when he was at WNBC everyone hated him. He said they all wanted him out of there and they thought he was bad for the company. Vinnie said they still loved Imus at the time. Howard said it was a crazy time for them. Robin said it was like their Viet Nam. Howard said like Viet Nam he's friends with NBC. Howard said it's crazy. Howard said he was under siege over there and he got the call from Dave's people saying they wanted him to come on. Howard said Dave was so important to NBC and it gave them an oasis for about 5 minutes. Howard said the bosses were impressed and it helped him be exposed to a national audience. Howard said Dave was always very gracious and had him on a lot. Howard said he thinks that he was on quite a bit and maybe was one of the most frequent guests on the show. Vinnie said no one was doing that at the time. Howard said he really adores Dave and loves him. He said he's really sad to see him go. Howard said he wouldn't have met his wife without David Letterman. Howard asked Vinnie if he knew that. Vinnie said someone mentioned that and he said they were wrong. Howard said Beth worked for Dave's show and one of her jobs was to be in these sketches on Letterman. Howard said Beth played Allen Caulter's girlfriend in the sketches. Howard said Beth met this girl there and the girl asked if she was single. Beth told her she was and she wanted to meet a guy. Howard said the girl invited Beth to a party and that was the party where he met Beth. Howard said she was on a date that night with a South African guy. Howard said they both knew this guy that the party was for. Howard said that's how he met Beth. He said shortly after he started dating Beth they quickly got rid of her from Letterman. Vinnie said he disagrees with him on that. Howard said he knows they thought he was going to find out top secret stuff from the show or something. Vinnie said that's a story for another day. Howard asked Vinnie when he found out about this. Vinnie said he found out around 2 o'clock that day. He said he wasn't in the same building as they are in. He said he's over at CBS. Howard asked if Les called him to let him know. Vinnie said he sent Les a note and Les already knew. Vinnie said he found out from the producers of the show who called him. He said they were all surprised. Vinnie said he was stunned. Howard said Vinnie found out when the public found out. Howard said he must be the low man on the totem pole. Howard said Vinnie's job is safe because he'll be in charge of whoever takes that slot. Vinnie said he will. He said that it's still going to be a year until Dave retires. Howard said he thinks that Dave has had it with the ratings. He said that he thinks he expected to be number one. Vinnie said they're still doing well. Howard said he understands that. Vinnie said the show is the best talk show on TV. He said Kimmel is great but on Letterman people can talk and have a conversation. He said you won't see that again on TV. Howard said he's feeling sad about this. He said he's sad to see Letterman go. Howard said there aren't many people he cares about their opinion of him is but Dave is one. Howard said he knows how hard Dave works on his show and he always wanted to contribute. Howard said he has had a lot of fun on that show. Howard said he dressed as a woman on the show and Dave didn't want him to do it. Howard said he wanted to please the guy. He said he got up on the table and danced for Dave. He said Dave slammed him for doing OJ jokes. He said two days later everyone was doing them. He said Dave never held a grudge and always had him on. He said he'll be eternally grateful for that. Howard said Jay was number one in the late night ratings but he always felt that Jay was copying or trying to be Dave like. Howard said that's something that he always felt in the back of his mind. Vinnie told Howard that Dave was into Howard's show before he even had his late night show. He said Dave had an office at NBC after his morning show ended. He said he and Dave and many others listened to Howard's show and they were into it. He said that Dave discovered his talents before the late night show. Howard said he got sucked in when he heard the retirement announcement. Howard said he thought about how he should leave too. Vinnie asked what he would do if he was in the situation. Howard said he wouldn't let it happen. Howard said he thinks that the whole business has gotten to Dave and he's just done with it. Vinnie said it's been brutal to see the other shows come in. He said he loves those guys but it's their job to come in and beat them. Howard said he thinks that he could handle it from Leno but not from the younger guys. Howard said Dave doesn't want to see it happen. Howard said he'll be sad to see Dave go. Howard said he would think that Dave will go out number one. Howard said with all of the goodbye he's going to be number one. Vinnie said they won the night he made his announcement. Howard asked Vinnie who he would like to see replace Letterman. Vinnie said that's a loaded question. Robin said it must have been on their minds. Vinnie said Howard's name came up. Howard said he can't take over. He said he has a great deal on radio. He said his plate is pretty full. He said he's doing AGT and the radio show. He said he has no time for a late night show. Howard said he'd have to reinvent the wheel doing a show like that. Howard said there are a lot of guys to take over that slot. Howard said he likes this guy Greg Gutfeld. He said he thinks he'd be a good replacement. Vinnie said no one can do what Dave has done though. Howard said he was thinking about Joel McHale and even Jimmy Kimmel. Howard said he thinks Jimmy should be on ABC and CBS at the same time. Howard said he never talks to Jimmy about being happy at ABC. Howard said maybe they can steal him away. Howard said Craig Ferguson has a great deal either way. He gets money even if they don't offer him the job. Howard said he's sitting in the cat bird seat. Howard said he would like to see someone different in that slot. He said that they have to have something different. Howard said maybe Oscar Pistorius. Howard said he can walk on those metal legs and he just murdered someone. Vinnie said he'll write that down. Howard said that's contingent on him getting off. Howard asked Vinnie if he has any names. Vinnie said he really doesn't. Howard threw Fred Norris' name into it. Vinnie said that no one has been like Dave doing what he has done. He said his interviews are beyond what anyone else does. Robin said he hasn't always been like that. Howard said he thinks that the ratings thing has broken his heart. Vinnie said Dave got so many awards and now he's going to see more press than he's ever seen. Vinnie said that the well wishes are coming from so many people on Twitter. He said that the question is if they're going to do Fallon or Dave for the next year. Howard said CBS should hire anyone named Jimmy. He said that's what they should do. Howard asked if they would steal Jackie's Joke Hunt and put it on there. Howard did an impression of Jackie and Robin said that Jackie didn't think of that until now. Howard said poor Evil Dave won't have anything to do. Howard said they'll have to get an Evil Craig Ferguson or something. Robin said she thinks Howard should go on the show now and at the end. Howard said he thinks he should just go on toward the end. Vinnie said he thinks that's the way they should do it too. Howard said he would put Tan Mom on. He said that he thinks Dave will have Bill Murray on the last show. Howard said they have a wonderful show coming up very soon. He said on Monday, April 28th they will do a show later in the day. He said they're going to do a Billy Joel Town Hall hosted by him. He said they're going to have special guests on the show and they're going to have guests singing with Billy and Billy will be on the piano. Howard said they're going to do this in another studio. He said that some guests will be musicians and some wont. Robin said that means Howard will be performing. Howard said that they'll have some fans in the studio too. Howard said that they have contacted some very famous people to sing Billy Joel songs. Vinnie said that sounds great. Howard said you can go to SiriusXM.com/Howard to find out how to enter to get into the event. Howard said that should be a lot of fun. Howard thanked Vinnie for calling in. Vinnie thanked him for all of the support. Howard asked how Vinnie is going to handle it. Vinnie said he's too emotional to even discuss it. Howard let him go after that. Howard said Carol Leifer is coming in. He said that she wrote a book. Howard said that she's very quietly running show business. Howard said Dan Rather is also coming in today to talk to him. He said he couldn't be more thrilled about that. Howard said Dan replaced Walter Cronkite. Howard said that guy has been through it all. Robin said he and David Letterman had a famous moment together after 9/11. Howard said they did. He went to break a short time later. Howard came back and said he had to run to the bathroom. He said that Carol Leifer is there. He said she has a new book called ''How to Succeed in Business Without Really Crying''. Howard said she lost a lot of weight. He said she's all svelte. Carol said she lost 15 pounds on Weight Watchers. Howard said that's old school. Carol said it really works. Howard said he had a friend who was on it but they didn't give him enough food so he ordered double portions. Carol said you eat whatever you want but you have a point system. Howard said he ate a bunch of steamed food last night but it was a ton of it. Howard said he's so happy because it's a lot of food. Howard said he has like 2 grapefruits every day. He said he also has a GNC shake. Carol said she has to try that. She said that you can eat any fruit or vegetable you want and it doesn't count toward the points. Howard said you just have to keep your intake under control. He said that's the key. Howard said Carol is very busy behind the scenes in show businesses. Howard said Carol was one of the writers who worked for Seinfeld. Howard said she wrote a lot of those episodes. Howard asked if she writes a script on spec or how did that work. Carol said they didn't' want anyone who worked on Sitcoms before. She said they wanted new people. Howard said she had been a stand up for years. Howard said she also wrote on Saturday Night Live. Howard asked if she was ever on camera there. She said she was just a writer. Carol said she auditioned to be on camera. She said that Al Franken was there and so was Jim Downey. She said they liked her but they offered her the writer gig instead. Howard asked if that was a disappointment to her when she writes a great Seinfeld or something and then doesn't get to be in it. Carol said it doesn't. Howard said it would kill him. Howard said Carol has written some of the biggest Seinfeld episodes of all time. Howard said she came up with the shrinkage episode. Carol said that she would come up with a general idea and then Larry David would say that was a show and they'd go with that. Howard said he thinks that it's the hardest job on the planet. Howard asked how many other writers there were. She said there were about 10. Carol said that she had an office to work in. She said that was the most fun part of it. She said that you're hanging out with funny writers all day. Howard asked if they help her write the episode. Carol said she came up with the lip reader episode. Howard asked how that whole process works. Carol said she came up with the idea for the episode where the shrinkage thing happens but Larry came up with that part of it. She said the brilliance that ends up on TV is filtered out by Larry and Jerry. She said she talks about this stuff in her book. She said they always made her stuff better. Howard asked if she ever asked why they took something out. Carol said she did not. She said that they knew what they were doing and you don't want to ask that. Howard asked if she still watches those shows and thinks about how she came up with the ideas. She said she absolutely does. Howard asked if she ever wants to tell people she came up with the ideas. She said that the credit is there in the credits of the show. Howard asked if it's a big payday for her. Carol said that she gets residuals. She said that Jerry and Larry have the fuck you money but she has some residuals. Howard said she has the money where she still has to go out and write a book to make money. Howard said he has some of the episodes she wrote for Seinfeld. Howard said she wrote the lip reader episode. Carol also came up with the part where Elaine played deaf in the taxi. She said that came out of her own real life. Howard read about some of the other episodes she wrote and she wrote one about Elaine going to a nail salon and thinking that the people there speaking Korean were talking about her. That happened to Carol and she used it in the script. Howard asked how you give that over to the Seinfeld show and not keep it for yourself. Carol said that situation was a very good sitcom idea and not really a stand up idea. She said that this all works together with Jerry and Larry's ideas too. Howard asked how long it takes to do something like that. Carol said it can take a couple of weeks. Howard said he thinks that idea was brilliant for a show. Carol said she still gets free manicures from the shop they used a shot of the exterior of. She said that's how thrilled the woman was. Carol said that they had a part for someone on the show and they wanted to get Liza Minelli to do it. She said they were on the cusp of being a big hit but they had a hard time getting people on the show. Carol said that they had Marjorie Gross writing for the show and she wrote some great episodes. Howard talked to Carol about another episode where they had a skinny mirror in the episode. Howard said he has a mirror at home where he looks like a monster. He said when he's at the gym he looks great. He said he sent a lighting guy to the gym to figure out how good he looks. Howard said he looks good in that gym mirror and the guy told him it's very dark there. Carol said that's a Seinfeld episode. Howard said she already wrote it though. Howard took a call from Ralph who asked if she had to write all of the story lines that go on in an episode. She said that Jerry and Larry would add so much stuff into the episodes. She said that's how it became the pyramid of comedy that it was. Howard said he talked to Jerry about doing another sitcom and Jerry asked why he would do that and try to top that thing. Carol said they shot the Marble Rye episode and that's the one where Kramer gave the horse some ''Beefarino'' and this prop guy gave her the can of that stuff. She said the movers took the can and threw it out thinking it was an empty can. She said she really fucked up. Carol said another story line in that episode was Elaine having so much oral with a saxophone player that he loses his lip. Howard asked if she's ever had that happen to her. Carol said she has not. She said that she thought about her friend who plays Sax and how that could happen to him. Howard asked if she's ever been embarrassed to pitch something. Carol said the greats that you work for encourage an environment to just offer it up. Howard asked if she's ever been ridiculed for something. Howard said he wants the guys to go wild in the writing meetings. Howard said that they can always fix something. Howard said that they will throw something out and they'll goof on them. He said that you can't do that though. He said you have to be safe. Carol said everyone has shit ideas. She said that it's okay. Carol said that Larry had a tick where he's move his shoulder around and say ''no'' to you. She said that when he liked something he'd leap out of his seat and say ''That's a show!'' Carol said it's great to write something and give it to the actors who elevate it 1000 percent. She said that the lip reader thing was great because Michael Richards made that ball boy thing great. Howard said he loved him on that show Fridays. Carol said he was always working on his stuff and choreographing what he did. She said he wasn't just winging it. She said he put a lot of thought and effort into it. Howard said it's pretty cool that she was part of that whole thing. Howard asked if her phone was ringing off the hook after that. Carol said it was. She said she went to Larry Sanders after that. Howard asked how many episodes she wrote there. She said that she probably had one or two in that one season she was there. Howard said he loved that show. Howard asked if that was a totally different experience. Carol said it was. She said it was amazing working with Gary Shandling and the writers there. She said that working with a group is way better than just doing it on your own. Carol said she's been doing this stuff for 37 years. She said she started stand up in 1977. Howard said she auditioned for Johnny Carson 22 times and he never put her on. Carol said that's right. Howard asked how she auditioned. Carol said they had a guy come out to see her do her act at a club. She said it was Jim McCauley who came out. Carol said that Letterman actually suggested her for the Tonight Show. She said that they passed on her first tape. She said they just weren't interested. Howard asked if that's devastating to her. Carol said Letterman got his show and she went on his show. She said that he gave her an open door policy. She said that she did stand up 26 times on that NBC show. Howard asked when he stopped using her. Carol said she got into her writing career. She said she was writing for Seinfeld and then he went to CBS. Carol said she was on with Dave for her last book. Howard said it's weird when you get cut out. Carol said she wasn't doing stand up so it was fine. She said she got a blurb for her book from that. Howard asked if the blurbs on the book help. Carol said it really does. Howard said he hates writing those things and he doesn't want to be on them. Carol said she knows that and what he went through with Greg Fitzsimmons. Carol said that she asked Steve Martin, Jimmy Kimmel and JJ Abrams to write blurbs for her book. She said they all did it. Howard asked how she asks them to do it. Carol said she says she'd love it but she would understand if they didn't want to. Carol said no one said no to her. Howard said he would have. He said that could have been a good story for her book. Howard asked how she got Letterman to write the blurb. Carol said she had to send an email to one of her friends there. She said that he passed it along to Dave and Dave passed it along and so on. She also said that she got blurbs from Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock. She said she had to cut Jerry's down. She said that she got one from Mark Cuban too. Howard asked if Carol thinks she should be rich from writing so many shows. She said she likes working so that's okay. She said she should be rich though. Howard said Carol is buddies with Jay Leno. Carol said that Jay is a very nice guy. She said he believes in the rule of 10. Howard asked what that rule is. Carol said Jay is very nice to other people. She said Jay thinks that if you take a picture with him then that person will go and tell 10 people that he was nice to them. Howard said Jay just isn't nice to other celebrities. Carol said that's Howard's point of view. Howard asked Carol about writing for the Academy Awards. She said she has written for Billy Crystal, David Letterman and Alec Baldwin. She said she wrote for Chris Rock and Ellen one time. Howard said last time she was on she was talking about being the creator of Ellen's sitcom. Howard said he thought that she was close to Ellen but he heard that she won't return her calls. Carol said she saw Ellen at the Kimmel party for Howard. Carol said she doesn't think people know how crazy booking a show is. She said The View asked her to come on and she would love to do that. She said the Andy Cohen show got in touch with her too. She said the other shows she would like to do say that you can't do The View and do other shows. She said they block you if you do certain shows. She said she did Watch What Happens Live and now she can't do Kimmel. She said that's so not a conflict. Howard asked what's going on with that. Carol said that's what they told her publicist. She said she has no idea why that is. Howard asked Carol why she thinks Saturday Night Live wasn't a better experience for her. Carol said that it was the year that Lorne Michaels came back. She said they had a very eclectic cast that year and it was weird. She said that she was hired by Al Franken and Jim Downey. She said while she was working there she was always pleasing them. She said she never felt that Lorne took to her. She said she would do things differently now. She said she pulled back and flew under his radar instead. She said that she wouldn't do that now. She said you can't please the number 2s, you please your boss. Howard said that sometimes the loudest noise gets the most notice. Howard said Carol talks about Sal in her book and how he ended up getting hired there. Carol said that if someone told her years ago that Sal the Stockbroker was going to wind up one of the writers there you'd be floored. She said you have to be relentless though. Howard asked if there is a photo of Sal's foreskin in there. Carol said there is not. She said she wasn't able to make that happen. Howard said carol's book ''How to Succeed in Business Without Really Crying'' is coming out tomorrow and she'll be signing copies at the Barnes and Noble on 78th and Lexington. Carol said she's also writing for the show ''Devious Maids'' which is premiering on April 20th on Lifetime. Carol said that's a fun show. Carol said that she's also got a big announcement to make. Carol said that she and Lori have been together for 17 years. She said she loves her dearly. She said that she hates calling her ''partner'' so now she can say that she is her fiancee. Howard asked if they're going to have a fabulous wedding. Carol said she would like a big wedding at the Bel Air hotel but Lori may not. Howard asked if she will invite Ellen. Carol said she's not sure about that. She said that's possible. Carol said they wanted to the wedding when their son is old enough to remember. He's 8 now. Carol asked if they should get married on the Stern show. Howard told her to have a real one and not ruin it. Howard congratulated her on that. Howard said Carol and Lori are a great couple. Howard wished her a lot of luck. Howard gave her some more plugs. Howard said she's always great on the Celebrity Superfan roundtable. Carol said that there should be one next month according to Gary. Gary said they want to do one around the Memorial Day weekend. Carol said she's completely dedicated to the pussy now. Howard said she did date Jerry Seinfeld and Paul Reiser though. She said she knows King of All Blacks won't be happy about that. Howard said that he wishes her luck with her book. He gave her another plug and said they have Dan Rather coming in. Robin said that Dan has been on the show before. Gary said he doesn't remember that. He said he may have been on the phone. Carol said she's also there representing the Stern Facebook Superfans. Howard said she should be ashamed of herself for that. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later. Howard came back and said that Dan Rather was the anchorman for CBS for like 100 years. Howard said he has seen it all. Howard said this is the guy he watched on the news for so many years. Dan said it's weird to be there in person. He said Howard has some set up there. Howard said he can't believe it. Howard said that it's very weird seeing a guy you grew up watching on TV. Howard asked what it's like when he meets young people who have no idea. Dan said it doesn't bother him. He said they don't know, don't care nor should they. Howard said he started doing AGT and he likes that the younger generation knows who he is. He said he's being exposed to a new audience. Howard said that Dan is still a performer. He asked if he checked the ratings all the time. Dan said the boss always did. He said they checked the ratings and the demographics. He said he didn't have to ask about it either. He said they told him about it. Dan said in the day they got the ratings on Tuesday and whoever was the head of the news division was talking about where they were. Dan said it was part of the reality for any anchor person. Howard said when he worked at the radio stations they were constantly checking. Howard said that he had the feeling that they were looking at him like he was disappointing them. Dan said he knows that look. He said he was at CBS News and it was like being in the locker room of the NY Yankees. He said that one period they won for 220 weeks in a row. He said they fell off by 1/10th of a point and he knows that look Howard was talking about. Howard said it's just one little glitch and you feel you have to explain it to everyone. Howard asked Dan if the ratings thing affects the way he's doing the news. Howard said you have to go with the ratings and it must affect the news. Dan said he hates to say it but it does. He said at the time of the OJ Simpson trial they were leading off with that story every night. He said they had to do it or they'd get killed in the ratings. He said that they had to cover the Jerry Condit case and things like that. Dan said if you don't lead with that every night you're going to get killed. He said they'd come in with the ratings every Tuesday and point that out. Howard said he thinks it goes all the way back to Watergate. Howard said he feels like the network news guys can't get into a thing like that. Howard said they can't get access if they piss off the office. Howard said that you can't be a leader on a story now. Dan said he thinks he's right. He said that CBS news dug into that story at the time but today he doesn't think that would happen. Dan said it's not that the people there don't care but the news companies are owned by 4 big corporations and they're afraid of the office. Dan said that they're using big government for their benefit. He said that things have changed dramatically in the past 5-10 years. Howard asked Dan how much he hated being all about the makeup and hair instead of the news. Howard said 90 percent of being a news man is being on camera and worrying about that. Dan said he didn't care so much about that. He said that he came in after Walter Cronkite and just succeeded him. He said he did not replace Walter. Dan said he thinks if he had more voice coaching he could have done better. Dan said that in the end the audience has to think you're authentic. Howard said he thinks that the audience did think he was authentic. Hard said Dan walked off the news one day when tennis was running long. Howard asked if he felt he should have calmed down. Dan said he does think that now. He said he did care about the news and he still cares. Dan said if he had to he'd go door to door telling people the news. Dan said looking back on it he should have swallowed hard and just gulped and smiled and took it. Howard said he knows that feeling. He said he has gotten angry but he cared. He said he cared about everything. Howard said Dan took over for Walter Cronkite and he thinks that had to be hard. Howard said that he had a lot of credibility and there must not be a lot of people who wanted to do that. Howard said he must have worried that he'd want to kill himself if the ratings went down. Dan said a lot of people warned him not to take it. He said that he was told it wasn't the first guy to take over that would succeed. It was always the second guy. Dan said that it was really tough. Howard said it's insane pressure to take over a number 1 guy's spot. Howard asked if Walter Cronkite was a mean guy. Dan said you'll never hear him say anything bad about Walter. He said Walter did regret retiring when he did. He said that he didn't like how the money went up when he came in. Howard said it would have made Dan's life easier if Walter hadn't gotten upset with him. He said that it would have been a loving thing to tell him to call whenever he needed something. Dan said that when you're the face of the network you have your ego fueled every day. He said Walter did bless his taking over for him. He said that he didn't think they'd be as successful as they were. He said that his ratings stayed up and he doesn't think Walter expected that. Dan said that he thinks Walter got upset as he saw how things were going and then regretted leaving when he did. Howard said the other thing was when Cronkite retired his voice was shot. He said he had to clear his throat all the time toward the end. He said it was over for him. He said he doesn't like the way he treated Dan. Howard said Dan had earned his place there. Howard said Walter could have been a better mentor. Dan said he can't argue with that. He said he has no complaints though. He said Walter told him he wanted to leave and he wanted to leave on top. Dan said Walter said he couldn't wait to go. He said after 6 weeks or so of sailing he wondered what he had done to himself. Howard said you don't know what retirement is like until it happens. Howard said it's pretty crazy stuff. Howard said Dan has put himself in a lot of dangerous places. Howard said he went to Viet Nam and he wonders what his wife thought of that. Howard said he had two young children at the time. Dan said that his wife did ask him to think about it. Dan said when Jean married him she was in totally. Howard asked how old he was when he married. Dan said he was 25 and Jean was 22. Dan said he fell in love instantly. He said you look at her and you see that pick up trucks don't just look at her, they back up to look at her. Howard asked Dan if women were throwing themselves at him. He said the temptations must have been many. Dan said that is true. He said that he isn't going to talk about that in depth this morning. Howard said he is a family man. He said he's asking how you stay focused on a marriage when you're in that position. Dan said at that level the temptations are everywhere. He said you keep yourself centered. He said you think about your wife staying with you when you were in Viet Nam. Dan said he had two kids too. He said the temptations are great and they shouldn't be. He said you begin to think that you're great and you're invincible and invisible. He said the higher you go the greater you are. Dan said that he went to Afghanistan and his wife and daughter asked him not to go. He said that he told them there is no guarantee in life about coming back or not. Dan said that he felt he had to go and he thought he could get in and get out. Dan said he needed and wanted to do that. Howard asked Dan if something had to give in his life and if he was the best father he could be. Dan said no. He said that he has no regrets in life but he could have been a better father. He said that his wife might disagree though. He said he was home only 31 days a year when he was covering the civil rights movement. Howard said that's what a guy has to do sometimes. Dan said that was his experience. Howard asked Dan what the most dangerous moments were in his career. Howard said he remembers Dan being at a Democratic National Convention during the Viet Nam time and he was on the floor and he ended up in a fist fight with a security guard. Howard said that he kept going with the reporting too. Dan said that was in 1968 and it was a crazy time and place. He said that they wanted control of the convention inside and outside. He said they had a tough time with that. Dan said they told delegates to move only when they were told to move. Dan said a delegate was being moved out the hall by people in civilian clothes. Dan said he saw that guy moving and he attempted to ask a question. He said security tried to push him aside. He said he got hit in the solar plexus and he was almost knocked out. He said that's what was going on at that time. Howard asked if he knew great TV was going on. Dan said that never entered his head. Dan said if you're any good as a reporter nothing matters other than the story. He said you're not thinking about TV. He said you only think about the story. Howard asked if he was getting calls and being told he just made great TV. Dan said they were stunned at what had just happened. Dan said it took a while for his head to clear over that and realize what went on. Howard said he wanted to ask Dan about this Klan guy sticking a gun to his head and threatening him not to cover a story. Howard asked what the guy said to him when he put the gun to his head. Dan said the quote was ''I'm gonna fucking kill you.'' Howard said he must have been scared. Dan said he was. Howard asked if it was more dangerous working in this country or over seas. Dan said it was as dangerous here. Dan said there is no denying it that it was dangerous. He said he thought that guy might shoot him. Howard asked if it went through his head that he could die. Dan said that your life does flash before your eyes. Howard asked Dan if he thinks that news guys these days are just trained actors. Dan said that it can be like that. Dan said he loves doing what he does. He said he thinks that the audience recognizes it if you are really into the news. He said the people who hire anchor people don't believe that. Howard said he thinks that Dan is the last of a dying breed. Robin said they get their news from services instead of getting the news on their own these days. Howard said Dan covered Martin Luther King Jr. and got to sit with him. Howard said now they have a black president. Howard asked if he thinks Martin would have believed that. Dan said he doesn't think that King thought it would happen in his lifetime or in his kid's lifetime. Dan said he remembers a conversation with King where he said he didn't think a black governor would ever be elected in Georgia. Dan said he doesn't think he ever would have imagined this. Howard asked if King thought that he was in danger. Dan said he does thinks he knew and he walked on the edge all the time. Howard asked Dan if he ever saw King speak. Dan said he did. Howard said he wasn't all that radical. Robin said he was at one time but he mellowed out as he got to know things. Howard said Dan was covering President Kennedy when he was shot and Dan went on the air and said he was dead before anyone else did. Dan said they had a lot of people saying he was dead and he had no doubt in his mind that he was dead. Dan said when he was on CBS he said he was dead and he didn't mean for them to play the Star Spangled Banner and say he was dead. Dan said that was a career changer for him. He said that's when the country got to know him. Howard said that's some break. He said he was there on the scene and he had paid his dues. Howard said he was in the right place at the right time. Robin said he was just doing his job and following a trajectory. Howard said Dan believes in the one bullet theory. Dan said he does. He said he thinks it was one gun, one shooter. He said that he thinks that Lee Harvey Oswald could have been put up to it. Dan said there is no conclusive evidence showing that it was anyone else. He said he would be surprised if someone came forward with evidence. Howard said there was a Kennedy assassination anniversary and they had no mention of Dan Rather on CBS. Howard said he had a falling out with them and that must feel weird. Dan said that CBS news is an institution there. He said changing history is a different thing. He said that's what they're doing there. He said that they're a news organization and that's not a good thing. He said he had 34 good years there. Howard asked if there is an edict there saying keep Dan's name off the air. Dan said he thinks there is something like that going on there. He said that he can't say he's not disappointed. Dan said that he still has the CBS Eye tattooed on his ass. He said he loves the tradition of all of that. He said he's not happy that they airbrush him out of things. He said they'll eventually come around. Howard said it doesn't look good because you might think that if they're willing to do this to Dan they might do it for the government or something. Howard said they have to mention Dan or they'll be discredited. Howard said that Dan's father died when he was just 52 years old. Howard asked if he's upset that he didn't get to see his great success. Dan said yes. He said that he lost his father when he was about 30. He said he thinks that he would have made less mistakes if his father was around. He said when he was hired at CBS News his dad was very happy. He said he was making more than his father ever made in his life so he was very happy for him. Dan said he has made a lot of mistakes and he would have made fewer if his father was around. Howard asked what kind of mistakes he's made. Dan said the biggest mistake was not leaving the anchor chair earlier than he did at CBS. He said he loved doing it but he should have left earlier. Dan said he thinks his father may have told him to stay in Viet Nam less time than he was there. Howard asked if that was the worst time of his life. Dan said it was horrible there. He said it was real mud and real blood. Dan said it was a scary place. Howard asked if seeing a kid get his head blown off ever leaves you. Dan said no. He said it's must worst to fight the war than just see it. Dan said it's like having a video tape in your head and it plays over and over again. He said when he came out of Viet Nam he had those in his head for years. He said that the guys over there fighting are coming home and having those same type of things going on. He said it's very had to get them out of your head. Howard said he must have been wondering what the hell they were doing over there. Howard said he had to be driven insane. Dan said the thing that really hurt was that they were walking the ground and seeing what was happening. He said that what Washington was saying was so wrong. He said that in public they were saying they had to fight this war. He said to see what the reality was and what was being said to convince people to stay behind it would make anyone mad. Howard asked Dan where he grew up. Dan said it was in Texas. Howard asked if he was in a mud hole. Dan said he was in a transition neighborhood. Howard said he almost died when he was young. Dan said he had Rheumatic Fever. He said that it could have killed him. He said he had a very bad heart ailment because of that. Dan said he joined the marines and he got kicked out because of that. Howard asked how they found out he had it. Dan said it came back on him while he was in boot camp. Dan said he lied to get in and didn't lie to the doctor. Howard said maybe that saved his life. Dan said it may have. He said he was bedridden for months on end and he heard some great radio broadcasts while he was in bed. He said Edward R. Murrow was a great announcer and he thinks that he was part of the reason for him getting into the business. Dan said he thinks one of the reasons he got the job to replace Walter was because he was a good ad-libber. Howard asked if he ever got his ass beat. Dan said when he was growing up that was a regular thing in his neighborhood. Howard said he is so filled with fear he can't do anything. He said that he figured that Dan would be the same way. Dan said no man is fearless. Howard said he's scared to just go to New Jersey. Dan said that you have the fear but you take a deep breath and just do it. He said you have to do your job and you go to Viet Nam if you think you have to go. Dan said that's why he went. He said he was scared but he had to report on this story. Howard asked Dan if he did anything like write a will for his family or record something for them. Dan said he didn't think of that back then. He said making personal videos wasn't a regular thing back then. Howard said Dan is doing some interviews on AXS TV. Howard said he is also doing Dan Rather Presents on AXS TV in May. Howard asked if he misses the big networks when he's doing a show on AXS. Dan said he does miss that big action. He said no story is worth a damn unless you can get it out. Dan said he wishes he was still doing the network stuff but Mark Cuban has been great to him. He said Mark said he'd give him complete control over the show and no one gets that. Howard said he was talking to Anderson Cooper about that. He said he wants to shed light on things since no one is doing that anymore. Dan said he thinks Anderson is a throwback. He said he likes to go where the action is. He said he's the real deal. Howard said he bets there aren't many like that. Dan said Scott Pelly is one he admires tremendously. Howard asked if he understands the way things work these days. Dan said he does. He said he's 82 years old but he tries to stay relevant. He said he knows things are going to change. He said what bothers him is when they stick 4 people in a room to yell at each other about Afghanistan instead of sending someone over there. Dan said it's less expensive and it doesn't get controversial. Howard asked if he's glad he came up when he did. Dan said he does. Robin asked what he thinks of the impact of the 24 hour news cycle. Dan said that has contributed to the corporateization of the news. Howard said it's a whole different era. Dan said that it really is. Dan said that the decision makers don't have time to do anything. Howard said there is way too much coverage of the Malaysian airlines thing. He said they have no news on it but they're making stuff up and spending 24 hours a day on it. Howard asked Dan if he started reading when he was in bed with that Rheumatic Fever. Dan said when he was bed ridden for the better part of 3 years he did a few things. He said he was acutely aware of the fragility of life. He said that you have to just go for it and think about where that north star of your life is. He said you go for that goal. Dan said that the radio was his companion and they broadened him about the world. He said that those reporters were really smart and they were well read. He said they used the right grammar and all of that. Dan said that proper grammar was not that common in his neighborhood. Howard said a lot of kids at that age don't know that. Dan said he was so joyous when he was finally able to get out of bed. He said his father made a decision and sent him to work in the oil business. He said he cut brush for an oil crew. Dan said that made him. He said that they were cutting brush from 5am until after sunset. Dan said his father told him to take that risk. Howard said that's a great thing. Dan said he was 14 at the time. He said that's not everyone's idea of a job for a 14 year old but it worked for him. Dan said it was a critical thing for him. Robin asked where he lived. Dan said they lived in hotels in different areas. Howard said Dan is 82 now and asked if he still feels young inside. Dan said he has to pinch himself. He said he loves what he does and this is his life. He said he doesn't feel old. Howard asked if he has any hobbies. Dan said he likes to fish and walk the woods. He said he does fly fishing. Howard asked if he goes by himself. Dan said that he loves to go by himself but at his age it's not the best thing to go alone. He said he has to go with his son or grandsons. He said that's a great way to bond too. Howard asked if he eats the fish. Dan said most of it is catch and release. He said he does eat them at times. Howard said he used to fish but then he felt bad for the fish. Howard said he went fishing with Jimmy Kimmel. Howard said he's too soft to fish even. Dan told him to try salt water fishing. Howard said he'll end up getting pulled in and eaten by something. Howard said he's 60 and he has a hard time peeing. Dan said it just gets wrote. Howard asked where he is with peeing now. Howard said he has to put tissues in his pants now. Dan said that getting up 3 or 4 times a night is in his future. Howard said he is almost there. He said he wants to know what's going to happen. Dan said the alternative is worse. Howard asked if he feels that he's going to meet a personal god. Dan said he does. Dan said he wants to keep smiling, keep fighting and keep going. Dan said he knows he's going to be dead for a long time. Howard said you can bet Walter Cronkite is up there bad mouthing him. Howard asked Dan who his favorite Kardashian is. Dan said he doesn't know any of them. Howard said he's very happy to hear that. Howard asked if he was a music fan. Dan said he grew up on country music. He said he has never played an instrument and he can't sing. He said that he has learned to like classical music. He said most of what he likes is Hank Williams. He said his mom tried to get him to play the bassoon but he couldn't play that. He said his mother gave up on that. Howard asked if Dan tweets. Dan said he does that and does Facebook too. Howard asked who this David Simon is. Dan said he's the one who wrote The Wire. Howard said Dan is doing the interview with David this week on AXS. Howard said he's interviewing Dolly Parton soon too. Dan said he should have her in there. Howard said he would love that but they upset her with some tape they edited using her audio book. Dan said they did a shoot with Dolly Parton once. He said their audio engineer couldn't take his eyes off her. He said Dolly told the kid to come to her trailer and she'd show them to him to get him to concentrate. Howard said she has held up pretty well. Dan said she's not as pretty as Robin but she's held up. Howard said no one is as pretty as Robin. Howard gave Dan some more plugs and wrapped up with Dan. Dan is also going to be scuba diving looking for the Malaysian plane. Howard went to break a short time later. Howard said he used to sit and eat dinner with his mom and they'd watch the news seeing these guys getting their heads blown off. The caller asked if Howard thinks Sour Shoes could do a late night show. Howard said he would watch. He said his parents would be thrilled too. Robin said maybe it could be the Hanzi and Sour Shoes hour. Howard said he thinks the guy who will replace Letterman will be Michael Strahan. Howard said he's already on Kelly and Michael and Good Morning America so why not another show? Howard said he's the man for the job. Robin said they're acting as if it can only be a man. Howard said they should dig up Johnny Carson and have a corpse on the show. Howard said that's what Craig Ferguson seems to have on his show but they call that skeleton ''Geoff'' instead. Robin said the list she has to replace Letterman includes Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart... Howard said they say that Colbert is playing a character so he couldn't do it. Howard said Jon Stewart is making like 25 million doing that half hour show and he has absolute freedom to do it. Robin said she heard a story about someone who drove Jon Stewart and he asked to get out of the car before he got to work. Robin said it was right where this huge billboard of him was at. Howard said Jon doesn't do their show anymore so he can't ask him about that. Howard played a clip where some news reporter was talking about who people were voting about who should replace Letterman. Howard had some write in votes. Howard said his name always comes up but there's no reaction from these people. He said as soon as an anchorman hears his name they don't know what to do. Howard said they seem to be bubble heads. Howard said they think that because they're on TV they should be able to do the same thing he does by talking on radio Howard played another clip of a news guy saying that someone wrote on their Facebook page that Howard Stern should get the job. The news guy said that's crazy but you never know what could happen. Howard said he has a clip from Mediaite.com. In that clip the guy was talking about possible replacements for Dave and he suggested they hire Howard Stern. The woman with the guy sounded shocked. Howard said her head literally blew up and they had to have a guy come in and clean up the mess. Robin said you have to love it after all this time. Robin said it used to be old people being shocked. Now it's younger people. Howard played more of the clip and this guy was really pushing for Howard. He was talking about how great he is an interviewer. He said he's the best in the business now. Howard said there has been a lot of discussion. He played a clip from Fox News' ''Red Eye'' show where a woman on that show threw Howard's name out for replacing Dave. Howard said he's a fan of that show. He said they had an intelligent discussion about that. Robin said someone threw John Oliver's name out there. Robin said that he did a great job guest hosting the Daily Show. Robin said he has a talk show coming out on HBO soon though. Robin said Ellen Degeneres' name has come up too. Howard said she won't want to bother. Robin said Neil Patrick Harris is another one. Robin said that's not a name off the beaten path. Howard said maybe Jodi Arias. Robin said she thinks she's a little busy. Robin said Chelsea Handler and Jay Leno have been mentioned too. Robin said Conan and Louis C.K. are a couple of other names thrown in there. Howard asked if Robin watched Game of Thrones last night. Robin said she did but there is so much going on that she has to watch it again. Robin said they say HBO Go went down last night because so many people were watching through there. Howard said he hates when the show is on because all of the nerds on the show look more fatigued than usual. Howard did a live commercial read and took another break after that. Howard said Spike Lee was there too. He said he loved his movie Malcolm X but not some of his other movies. He said Spike got up and coached the team from the sidelines. Howard said that's really ballsy to do too. Howard said he didn't know he was so ballsy. Robin said he takes that number 1 fan thing a little far. Howard said he may want to be his assistant coach. He said that he wants to do that with him. Howard said Alec Baldwin was there too. He said Nick Cannon was there shooting something for AGT. They said that he was getting booed off the court. Howard said he didn't even know Nick was there. He said the papers reported he was there getting booed. Howard said maybe the fans didn't like what he was doing. Howard played the clip where Howie Mandel comes in and interrupts the Glenn Frey interview with a Baba Booey. Howard said he was very polite about it. He apologized after interrupting. Howard said that was really funny. He said that's up on their web site now. Howard said he would never do anything like that. He said he was hiding when Howie did it. He said once he realized it went over okay he came out of hiding. Howard had Fred pay Robin in with a song parody. Robin started her news with a story about James Franco who took a picture with a girl after doing his play. He ended up flirting with the girl and she posted his flirts online. Robin said the girl was only 17 years old. Robin said Franco was asking if he should get a room in her hotel. Robin said he has had to issue an apology now. Robin said she has audio of his apology. Howard played the clip and Franco was talking about how embarrassed he was by the whole thing. He said social media is a way to meet people and you never know who's on the other end. James said he used bad judgment and he learned a lesson. He was talking about how this stuff gets published for the world and it's doubly embarrassing. Kelly Ripa said that she thinks what he did by coming out was great. She said she won't publish their messages. Howard said he was watching that show and he didn't know what he had actually done. They never explained it. Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who asked if he did take the late night show would he try to beat Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel. Howard said that's what the job is. Howard said he wouldn't like to be in that position though. King asked if he would still go on vacation with Kimmel. Howard said he would hope so. He said his friendship means a lot to him. He said that he has a job though so he's n to looking to take over that one. Howard said he would rather be there on satellite doing what he's doing than being on a network where he can't be himself. Howard said he wishes Jimmy would come over there and do a show so he can be himself on the air. Howard said Jimmy has to be network friendly. Howard said he'd get rid of Jackie's Joke Hunt to put Jimmy on. Howard said he'd actually keep Jackie around. Howard took a call from a guy who said that Letterman repeats his jokes from one night to the next so it's time for him to go. He said he does bits with the audience and the don't let the TV audience in on the joke. He said he's not sure if Dave is to blame or the writers are. Howard said it sounds like Rich has had it with Dave. Howard said he thinks Dave is an innovator and he's just had enough. Howard said Dave has done it forever and it's time to go. Howard said he thinks he's just worn out. Robin read a story about a family who had a 1 year old who was gravely ill on their sailing boat. They had to be rescued because all of the electronics on the boat went down. Robin said they weren't able to save themselves or the child. Robin said this rescue has been going on for days. Robin said they were planning on sailing around the world with their 1 year old and 3 year old. Howard said everyone is up in arms over that. Robin said they say that they've been living like this for 7 years. Howard said you don't do that to kids though. Robin said they should be on land. Howard did a live commercial read after that. Robin read a story about Oscar Pistorius taking the witness stand. Howard said he must be really desperate. Robin had some audio of Oscar on the stand crying and talking about that night. Robin said this is disingenuous to her because he has a new girlfriend already. Howard said he should just be a man and go to jail. Robin said he claims he has trouble sleeping. Howard mentioned that they have an auction going on at CharityBuzz.com where you can get the chance to sit in the studio. Howard said unfortunately you'll have to be in the studio with Benjy. He said that he is the star of Sharknado 2 though. Benjy said that should be out on July 3rd on SyFy. Robin said you have to love Benjy. Howard said you really do. Robin read about how Jeb Bush hasn't decided if he'll run for President in 2016. Robin had some audio of Jeb talking about that. Howard read some email they got about Howie Mandel on the show last week. Howard had some positive words about that. Howard said someone wrote in about how Al Roker and Matt Lauer are shooting scenes for Sharknado 2. Howard asked if Benjy knew that. Benjy said they are now Sharknado brothers. Howard said someone asked what happened to John Mayer coming in. Gary said they're still working on that. He said John is working on finishing an album. Robin read about the shootings at Fort Hood and about a memorial service that will be held for the three men that were killed. Robin had some audio of an official talking about how there are a lot of soldiers who need mental health treatments. Howard did another live commercial read after that. Howard read an email about what they were talking about with Billy Graham's son last week. Howard said the writer had some good points about what Graham's son was saying about homosexuals. Howard said some people like the inappropriate Jackie laughs that they've been playing. Howard said that's always fun to hear. Howard said he's still trying to recover from his long weekend. Robin said Howard is a great judge. Robin said he tells the people what they need to hear. Robin said he told one person that they had a great major in college but no talent. Howard said Robin is the judge of all of the judges. Howard said he got to Madison Square Garden the first day and he goes to his dressing room to relax. The first thing he hears is really loud music. He said they stuck him in a room next to Mel B. He said he likes her but she has a full disco going on in there. Howard said she has her kids and the nanny in there with her hair and makeup people. Howard said it's kind of a fuck you to everyone else there. Howard said he called someone in and said they had a choice. He said he said they get her the fuck away from him or he's leaving now. Fred played some loud dance music and Howard said this is what it sounded like. Howard said Mel didn't bother asking if anyone minded. Howard said it's like these guys who drive around with their music playing loud in their car. Howard said all hell broke loose and they said they found a room for him. Howard said he told them he's not moving. Howard said they found a room on the other side of the building. He said he went to his new room after the first taping and he heard a strange noise in there. He said it sounded like tables and chairs being moved above him. Howard said he figured he was under the stage. He said he couldn't complain again. He said he wanted to be the easy guy. Howard said he figured out that he was below the subway. Howard said they had him under the subway. Howard said he chose the subway over Mel B. Howard said she was exhausted and he said to her that she should relax during her break. Howard said she thinks she has to get pumped up by the music and not sleep. Robin said she had to stand up and start prancing while they were shooting. Howard said the next shoot is going to be in Los Angeles and they'll probably stick him under the runway of the airport. Howard took a call from Ralph who said that he thought Howard was exaggerating about the music but then he heard it. He said it sounded awful. He said it was all tinny and awful sounding. Howard said she must not think about anyone around her. Howard said he doesn't get that mentality. Howard said he asked her to turn the music off and relax but she can't. Howard said if he was her husband he'd tie her up. Ralph said it's bad music too. Howard at one point it was the Back Street Boys. Howard said he asked her if she ever listens to Led Zeppelin or anything like that. Howard said he's really shocked that a Spice Girl likes shitty music. Howard said he really likes working with Mel. He said she's a good sport though. He said she's cool about the jokes about the Spice Girls. Ralph said Mel gets glitter all over you. Howard said he was covered in glitter after hugging her once. Ralph said he can't even get that stuff off of you. He said Howard is very sparkly during the shows in New York. Ralph mentioned the time they went to an AGT taping and Howard had a band right under his window. He said he thought it was a joke. Howard said he had to ask for another room there. He said he was on the side of the street during South By Southwest. Howard said it was insane. Ralph said the music was going all night there. He said that they could hear the music from across the river. Howard said Heidi Klum had a cough the whole weekend. Howard said she was coughing all over him and singing the whole time. Howard said she tries to read and write down questions. He said she's constantly singing and asking him questions. Howard said the word Radioactive was on some equipment there and that got Heidi singing the song ''Radioactive.'' Howard said she had her cough so she was coughing and singing. Howard said he thinks she had whooping cough or something. He said she must have thought he liked it because if he brought it up she'd cough more. Howard said at one point a contestant came out and told Heidi how much she likes her husband Seal. Howard said that was 3 or 4 boyfriends ago. Howard let Ralph go a short time later and did another live commercial read. Robin read a story about how it's time to say goodbye to Mickey Rooney. Howard said they interviewed him once. Robin said he was 93. Howard said he was a huge star when he was a kid. Robin said he was a huge star. Howard said he was a great actor actually. He said he married 8 times and his last wife he was separated from at the end. Robin said he was married to Ava Gardner and she was the Angelina Jolie of her time. Robin said he made 8 movies with Judy Garland. Robin said his career lasted almost a century. Robin said he was working from the time he was a kid and he was in the movies in the silent era. Robin said he was in a movie in 2012 so his career spanned very decade he lived in. Howard said he heard he wasn't rich from all of that and he had to file for bankruptcy at one point. Robin said that he had a great run until he got older. Robin said he was short and one of those guys that everyone loved as a teenager. Robin said when the lean years came he had some problems. Robin said he won a juvenile Oscar. Howard said they need to bring that back. Robin said he played ''Bill'' in the movie of the same name. Howard said he can play that part. He said he might have to remake that movie. Robin read a few more details about Mickey's career. Robin read a story about how they may have detected flight 370 signals. Robin said they think that they could be the black box signals. Robin said they have had a couple of pings that they think could be from the box. Robin had some audio of an official commenting on that story. Howard said they're not going to find that plane. He said it's gone. Robin said they say that they have analyzed the flight path and they think it was trying to avoid radar. Robin read a story about a selfie that was done with the President and a soccer player. Howard said he hates selfies. The shot was used in marketing for Samsung because they sponsor this player. Howard said he thinks it's undignified for him to even be in selfies. He said the President shouldn't be. Robin read a story about Kate Middleton and how her dress was blown up and a picture was posted in the paper. Robin said that the same paper would say what Howard is saying is horrible but they'll post that photo in the paper. Robin said she had lovely legs. Robin said they're on a trip. Gary said the 9 month old gets a personal chef. They have like 13 people just for the kid alone. Howard said he the people in England must hate that. He said they're going broke but they have 13 people taking care of one kid. He said it has to be hard to take. Robin read a story about the Mormons. Robin mentioned they're known as The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Howard said he knows them as the people who did the Davey and Goliath cartoons when he was growing up. Howard did an impression of what those characters sounded like and talked about that for a minute. Robin read the details of the story about how they're against gay marriage. Robin read a story about Aretha Franklin and Patty LaBelle being part of a concert that's going to be on PBS tonight. Robin said that the Goonies is coming back to the big screen. Robin said director Richard Donner has said they are going to do a sequel to the movie. Howard said he doesn't remember that movie. Robin said Donner is going to try to include as much of the cast as possible. Robin said they're not sure if they'll make cameos or pick up in the kids later lives. Robin read a story about something called a Geep. Robin read that's what they call it when you breed a sheep and a goat. Robin said they say that the farmer who has it remembers seeing them mating and now he has this Geep. Howard asked Benjy what a Geep would sound like. Benjy came up with a mix of a sheep and a goat. Howard laughed. Howard said Benjy fucks a shark in Sharknado and has a Bark which is a mix of Benjy and a Shark. Robin read about how Captain America did 96 million at the box office this weekend. Robin said she saw it and she loved it. Robin said she's getting into Agents of SHIELD too. She said they're tying the movies and TV show together. Robin read about how the new pope has made a big deal out of not spending a lot of money. Robin said that an archbishop moved into a new home that was worth $2.2 million which went against that. Robin said some people were upset about that. Howard said they should get over it. He ended the show a short time later. They were done around 10:45am. Jon said he always wondered why people had it in for Dan. He said what Dan said was that he doesn't care about being the TV guy. He said he's a real reporter. Jon said it was great hearing Howard sit down with Dan Rather. Jon said that there has been a real change on the perception of Howard and what he does. He said that Carol is on then Dan Rather follows her. Carol said she would never think that would happen. She said she never expected Dan to come on the show. Jon said that it's great when people live up to their expectations. Carol asked if he asked Dan the personal questions. Jon said Dan told Howard that he might be crazier than he thinks he is if he asks him those personal questions. Jon congratulated Carol on her big announcement about getting engaged. Carol said she saved that for Howard. She said that she listens to the show every day and she feels that it's part of her family. Carol said she didn't get to tell Howard but she appreciates that he's so vocal about supporting gay marriage and gays. She said that she felt it was the right place to do it. Jon asked Carol about what it's like to be in studio and have Howard directing the interview. Carol said Howard really does direct it. She said that she has to try to plug her book ad the show she's working on. She got in a couple of plugs for those things with Jon too. Jon asked if she realizes how big the whole Seinfeld thing is. Carol said it's iconic and it was amazing to be able to work on it. She said she's not surprised when people want to talk about it. She said that only comes around once in a lifetime. Carol said she hopes she did it enough on air about how the show was Larry and Jerry and the writers were just cogs in those wheels. Jon said he thinks she made that very clear. Jon said she's selling herself short there too. He said he read in the notes how this show was an inspiration for something they did on the show. Carol said she heard Kathy Buckley on the Stern Show and that was an inspiration for the episode where they took the deaf person to the restaurant to read lips. Gary said when he was working there he would be barraged with people who swore they could write for Seinfeld. Gary said that they thought it was really about nothing. Carol said she got that all the time. Then she said a girl from high school told her a story that she thought would be a good idea. She said that story became the foundation for the Marble Rye episode. Jon asked Carol what affect Howard has on Hollywood. He said that it seems like people are proud to talk about how inspirational he was. Carol said she thinks that it's huge. She said that Dan Rather was just on the show. She said she never thought that would happen but the quality of guests is amazing. Gary said Anderson Cooper was just on and he talked about how he started listening to Howard in his car when he was commuting a lot. He said if he could just get everyone to listen to Howard they'd want to come on the show. Carol said when you listen regularly it's a part of your daily loop. She said that you feel sorry about it when you can't listen. Gary said he would like to get Carol, Natalie Maines and Andy Richter to do a trivia game about the show. He said he'd like to see who listens more. They went to break a short time later. Jon said that Carol also brought up the book blurb and how she knew better than to ask Howard for one. Jon asked if she did the right thing not asking. Carol said since she listens to the show she knows not to do that. She said she would totally not go there. Carol said there are things you have to go after and things you really should not pursue. Gary said she made the right decision. Gary said Howard loves her and she made the right decision not asking. He said Howard would have stressed over it so much if she had. Jon said Sal Governale is included in the book. He asked Carol about why she did that. Carol said she called Sal because she wanted to use that story about him getting on the show. She said that she wasn't' sure how that happened so she called Sal and asked him for the details. Sal said if a jackass like him can do it then anyone can do it. Jon said that it must have been flattering for Carol to call Sal. Sal said it really was. He said he got his foot in the door by calling Gary. He said that it ended up working out for him in the long run. Gary said Sal said he would do anything he needed to get done to get in there. Carol said that you have to be the same way when you want to write scripts. Carol said her advice is to write a script for a show you like and get in there as a PA or something. She said that if you're entertaining and funny you'll move up the ladder. Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Carol would hire Benjy as a writer based on the controversy with Benjy's work ethic. Carol said that was at least a year ago. Benjy said he hasn't been late in a couple of years. Benjy said it's cool with either way she goes. Carol said that Benjy is doing a great job there and she's not sure why people piled up on him at the last Super Fan Roundtable. She said that he wouldn't be there if he wasn't doing a great job. She said if you're not producing then you'll be gone. Jon said Carol was taking about a safe writing environment and that's pretty much how they operate there. Gary said no one has ever been pulled aside and told not to do something again... other than Sal at times. But that's just for comments he has after they bring up an idea. Benjy said he has a lot of rope to say what he wants. He said that there are some people that throw ideas out there and they're like ''Ehhhhh...'' Gary asked if the writers meetings on 30 Rock seemed real to her. Carol said they did. Gary said he has seen some things that they do in the writer's room and they're pretty wild. Carol said the most fun she has in a writer's room for a show she enjoys working on. She said she has a great time at work if she's in that situation. Carol said that there was a lawsuit a few years back about a writer's room situation but that room has to be a safe room for ideas. Jon said they had to take another break after that. Jon said he was thrilled to have Dan Rather in there today. Leiberman said he was too. He said he looked up to Dan in the news business. Jon said that a lot of people didn't like Dan Rather yet he ended up being very successful. Leiberman said that's the way the business is. He said he went through a lot of things that other people went through rising up through the ranks. Gary said if Dan could have done an interview like he did today then maybe people would have gotten to know him. He said he came across much nicer today than he ever did at the news desk. Leiberman said that's true. He said in the past they had restrictions on them and you never got to like them. Jon asked if Leiberman thinks he'd fit in there at Howard 100 News. Leiberman said that he thinks he'd fit in just fine. He said he'd like to see the dynamic in the news room with him and Lisa G. Gary said hearing Dan talking about going to Viet Nam and seeing those things in his head like a video tape. He said that was really tough to hear. He said that he got to see a lot of things over there. Jon brought up how Dan was talking about taking over for Walter Cronkite and how Walter was upset he gave up the job just weeks after he retired. Gary said Dan was saying that Walter was upset that he gave up the job and the money that they were paying guys after he left. Gary said that he went to Afghanistan and some kid at school told him that his dad was going to die over there. Gary said that's ridiculous. Leiberman said he was covering the war in Iraq when he got married so that was a serious discussion for him. Jon took a call from a guy who said it was nice to have Dan Rather in there and not have Nick Cannon in there every month. Gary said it's nice to mix it up. Jon said Howard has a lot of time to work with his guests. Carol said Howard is amazing at it. She said that you never know where Howard is going to go. She said it's hard to steer it where you want it to go because Howard is so on it. Gary said Dan talked about Rheumatic Fever and about his dad dying and also about having to get up to pee 4-5 times a night. He said they got it all. Jon said they also talked about David Letterman retiring and all of the names that are being thrown around to replace him. Jon said that Howard's name is thrown in there too. Jon wondered if he would take that job. Gary said he doesn't know. He said Howard works really hard but that's a full time job over there. He said it's almost a no won situation. He said you'd rather be the guy who replaces the guy who replaces Letterman. He said taking over for Dave is going to be tough. Jon said Howard said he would have to blow up the format and change it up. Jon asked Jon Leiberman what he has in the news. Leiberman ran down a few story headlines that they have coming up in the Howard 100 News today. He also got in a plug for Leiberman Live which is on at 4:45 this afternoon. Carol also got in a plug for her book ''How to Succeed in Business Without Really Crying'' and the rest of the guys threw in their plugs as they were wrapping up. They ended the show around 11:30am. Howard started the show talking about how sad he is for Bob Geldof. Howard said his 25 year old daughter died. Howard said a lot of people don't remember who Bob is. He said there was a famine relief that he started and he had a hit song with that fund raiser. He said he was also in the band Boomtown Rats and they had a hit song called ''I don't Like Mondays.'' Howard said Bob used to come on the show all the time. He said when he was a young man he'd come on and one day he said he had a baby and her name was Fifi Trixabelle or something like that. Howard said he then had a baby named Peaches. Howard said Bob stopped coming in and went off and did his thing. Howard said Bob's daughter Peaches is dead at 25. Howard said some people are saying drugs and some are saying suicide. Howard said bob released a statement and he felt so bad for the guy. Howard said he remembers reading that the woman he had the kids with had sex with the guy from INXS and she had a kid with him. Howard said Bob ended up adopting that kid. Robin said the wife died too from something. Howard said Peaches Geldof is the greatest name ever after Fifi Trixabelle. He said he felt so bad for Bob when he heard that story. He said he has another kid that's just 18 months old too. Howard said he heard that Peaches was getting over some tough stuff and she was going to concentrate on her kid. Robin said even just days before someone dies they post stuff on Twitter and Facebook. Robin said Peaches had posted some pictures recently of herself with her child and a picture of herself when she was a child with her mother. Howard said you never know what can happen. Howard said he was thinking about Bob Geldof and mentioned him to a few people and they had no idea who he was. Gary said Jason just asked who he was. Howard said he played some people one of Bob's hit song ''I Don't Like Mondays'' and they still have no idea who he was. Howard said the worst thing to happen is for one of your kids to die before you do. Robin said that Bob made a statement about how she was more bonkers than any of them. Howard said he thinks she meant that in a good way though. Howard played the song ''I Don't Like Mondays'' and said he doesn't like them either. Gary said Sal just said he knew who Horatio Alger was. He said he had him swear on the life of his kids he knew that yesterday. He said Sal told him that he didn't know it yesterday but he does know it now. Howard said Carol was there yesterday and she made some prank calls with Sal and Richard. Howard played a call she made to a flower shop asking them to deliver some flowers to her husband in the hospital. Carol asked the guy at the flower shop to put something on the card about going into the light and how she'll always love him. Then she had him send another one to another man about her husband finally kicking the bucket and how they were in the money and they were going to do it on his coffin. She also added that she wanted to shove the flowers up the husband's dead old ass. Then she added that she thinks the guy at the flower shop swings both ways. The guy ended up hanging up on her. Howard said someone who listened to Riley Martin's show is very astute. Howard said someone in 2006 asked Riley if the Biavians have a way of singing Happy Birthday. He said Riley sang it one way in 2006 and then he sang it another way in 2014. Howard played the 2006 version and then the newer version. Howard said they were two different songs. Robin said she's so sad that he can't recreate that song. Howard said you'd be fucked up too if you were on a spaceship and came to Earth and met Riley. Howard said he has some other clips to play. Robin asked if anyone is going to confront Riley on that song. Howard said he's sure he'd have an excuse for that. Howard said he has a clip of Jeff the Vomit Guy who went into a frenzy when he heard that Lady Gaga got puked on at a show. Howard played a voicemail he left asking to get in on that because he'd like to bear witness to the vomiting. He said he could be the guy who takes the vomit instead of Gaga. Howard said he can't even listen to that guy talk. He said he gets sick just hearing him talk about that stuff. Howard said he thinks that someone is speaking for his fetish of one. In the voicemail Jeff asked Howard to give him a call and he'll be there. Howard played a prank call the guys made to a Bulimia hotline number using some Jeff the Vomit Guy audio clips talking about how he likes to see women vomit. The woman said that he is an asshole after they called with the clips a few times. Howard said you'd think that someone would want him for that. Howard said that's the greatest call ever. He said it doesn't get better than that. He said you can't top it. He said they should play that over and over again. Howard said the whole thing is just horrible. He said that poor woman is working on the Bulimia hotline. Howard said the show is going to air on Howard 100, 101 and the Billy Joel channel. Howard said everyone is having a good time with that channel. Howard said he was talking to Ronnie the Limo Driver who was listening all weekend to that channel. Howard said he was ''on'' the channel but he just meant he was listening all weekend. Howard said they should have Ronnie on the channel though. Howard said Billy is such a good guy. He said he had them over to his house and told them that he was going to donate to Bianca's Furry Friends. He said that they're building a floor where animals can roam free. He said it's going to cost about $7 million to do it. Howard said Billy is doing a show on May 9th and he's presenting the proceeds from the night to Bianca's Furry Friends so they can build that floor. Howard said Beth broke down in tears and he was very moved. Howard said it's such a nice thing. Howard said he blew Billy. He said they loved it. Howard said that Billy is a rock guy and he's been blown by the best. Howard took a call from a guy who said he's out on his newspaper route. Howard asked how much money he can make. The caller said he makes about 400 plus tips. He said there are some who can make 1000. He said he just drives around for 2 hours a night doing it. He said it's a cool gig. He said he still delivers 40 TV guides a week. Howard said he loves holding a newspaper. He said he still gets it delivered. The caller said he gets them all in the apps. Howard said his kids go online too. He said it's kind of sad that it's going to go away. Howard said everyone finds their own web sites but with newspaper everyone reads it. THE caller said there are old people waiting on their porch for that stuff. He told Howard to please stay on the air until he's 90. Howard said when he's 90 he's going to be in big trouble. Howard said this Oscar Pistorius is some actor. He said he can make himself cry at any time. Howard said he's a big baby. Howard said that fucker should man up and just go to jail. He said he should turn to the judge and just admit what he did. Howard said he's a psycho who killed someone. Howard said the judge is a female judge and she's a black woman. Howard said she's not going to take that nonsense. Howard said he should just man up and take his punishment. Howard said no one ever does that. Gary said Eric thinks everyone is against him but he has no idea how he's behind it all. Eric said he was told he has interns and JD making up fake Twitter accounts to harass him. He said he heard that he offered up free lunch to them for that. Gary said that's what he did while he was working on the birthday show and everything else there. Howard said Gary has time to fuck with Eric. Howard said he's mad at Gary now for doing all of that. He said he's taking away time from the job he does for him. JD came in and said he's going to cop to it all too. He said he's using his own money to do that. Gary said Eric is some megalomaniac. Howard said Eric will be on Leiberman Live tonight at 4:45. Eric said because of that... Howard cut him off and said they had a guy on the street roast Eric. Howard said this guy starts goofing on people if you just show him a picture of the person. In the clip the guy was talking about how Eric looks and goofing on his feet and things like that. He said his feet look like they're doing sign language and shit. He said his hands look like dirty balled up newspaper and he must have to clap with his knuckles. Howard said that guy is named Trag the Photo Roaster. Howard said he roasted Jay Leno too. Howard played a clip of him roasting Jay. He made fun of his chin and said it looks like an under cooked Kidney Bean. Eric said on Facebook he posted that he completely supports Jimmy Kimmel. Howard said he loves Eric and wants to see him do well. He said he just loves his spirit. Howard said he loves that he's feisty and all of that. Howard said he's into TV and media and all of that. Howard said Eric is one paranoid mother fucker though. He said that if he really thinks Gary and JD are busy bothering him on social media he's out of his mind. Howard said he has no evidence that they're trying to sabotage his social media at all. Howard said he's just as wrong about them as he was about him. Howard said they like Eric. Howard said they have such busy lives that they have no time to do the things they love to do, never mind going after him on social media. Eric said he's sure he can get the evidence. Gary asked Eric who told him that he was the one behind this. Eric said this person told him he was an intern at Sirius and that's what he heard. Howard said that's people fucking with him. Howard said if anyone has the time to fuck with him it's Robin. Eric said Johnny had the suspicion too. Howard said Johnny is just fucking with Eric. Howard said he doesn't know what to do with Eric. Eric said this is going to be his last call for a while. He said he's going to the doctor on Friday and they are going to tell him he needs to have a valve replaced immediately or in a few months. Howard said he hopes he doesn't die on him. He said he would be really upset if he died. Eric said he's going to put himself on a hiatus. He said he has every intention of calling back though. Howard said he has a bad feeling about this. Howard said he really doesn't like this. He asked if he has the best people working on this. Eric said he wouldn't mind getting Dr. Oz to assist. Howard said he always wants a celebrity doctor. Howard said he's upset with Trag for goofing on Eric now. Howard asked if he has to go to a specialist since he's a special case. Eric said he goes to a regular guy. Howard asked what they have to do. Eric said they have to make an incision in his right side and go in and pull the old valve out and put a new valve in. Howard said this sounds like open heart surgery. Eric said that they may have to crack a few ribs to get in there. Howard told Eric to hang in there. He said he doesn't want to lose him. Eric said it's going to be a couple of months of recovery after that. He said he will continue to do Leiberman Live when he can. Howard wished him luck and told him to take a selfie from the hospital so he can see him. Howard said now he's upset. Eric said he will give them updates. Howard said Hanzi wants to talk to him before he goes. Howard took a call from Hanzi who said he's going to defend Eric. He said he thinks it's Howard behind the fake accounts. He said that he's doing it to Eric and doing it to him as well. Howard said Eric doesn't need anyone stirring him up and now Hanzi is coming on and getting him upset. Eric said he already apologized to Howard for that. Howard said Eric is going into the hospital and this is going to upset him. Hanzi said Howard is the one who makes Eric look like an asshole. He said Howard hides behind his workers all the time. Howard said all he does is hide behind them, sure. Howard said Eric doesn't even live with his parents but Hanzi still does. Hanzi said he doesn't want to sign up for disability. Howard said he should so he can get his own apartment. Hanzi said that he just wants something else to goof on him about. Howard said Hanzi is a tough character. He said he's just trying to get Eric all stirred up. Eric said he doesn't live with his parents but the house he lives in is paid for by them. Howard said he doesn't want to get into all of that personal stuff with him. Hanzi said Howard owes him movie parts. Howard said he can't force anyone to put him in a movie. Hanzi said there are people who want to put him in movies and Howard is stopping it. Howard said it was Eric who came up with that idea to get into movies. Howard said he's going to call his parents and ground him. He said he's going to take away his phone privileges. Howard said he'll have them take away his TV too. Howard said maybe his pot can be taken away. Hanzi said Howard already fucked his life up with that. Howard asked how he did that. Hanzi said Howard knows. Howard said he has no idea what he's talking about. Howard played a song parody about Hanzi and said he knows he doesn't care about Eric. Hanzi said he does care. Howard said he has to wish Eric luck with the heart valve thing. Howard asked if he has any last words for the show if something does happen. Eric said he hopes they continue to have a successful run. He said you can tune in and see him on Legit on April 30th on FXX. He'd also like people to give Jimmy Kimmel more ratings. Howard asked Eric to give them updates from the hospital. Howard said he really has to go. He said he has a whole show to do. Hanzi asked if he's going to interview Dan Rather again. He said fuck that guy. Howard said Dan did a lot more than Hanzi ever did with his life. Howard said that Hanzi has some nerve talking about him like that. Hanzi went off on the United States for doing what they did in Viet Nam. He went off on Howard about going off on people after 9/11 too. Hanzi asked if he can fuck Robin once and for all. Howard said yes. Hanzi said Robin wants his cock. Robin laughed. Hanzi said that Robin backs him up on all of this and she's the only one who calls Howard out on anything. Howard said maybe Robin can give Eric a going away present. Robin said that might stress him out. Eric asked Howard if he can line up the nurse who came in for the breast evaluation a few years ago. Howard told him to calm down and not worry about that stuff. Howard said he has to get himself better and then they'll worry about the girls. Eric said alright to that. Howard let Eric and Hanzi go after playing another ''Imran Khan'' song parody. Howard said Dave has been a big part of his history. He asked why he's really retiring. Dave said that they say he's at the top of his game but what he really wants to do is punch up comedy scripts in Hollywood. Howard said they had a guy there who said the same thing. Howard said his name is Jackie the Joke Man. Howard asked Dave if he thinks that it's really time to quit. Dave said he has to raise black people on his black people farm. Howard said that he thought he was leaving because of Jimmy Fallon. Evil Dave said that if you can't beat 'em then you hide in their dressing room and beat off to them. Howard said it must be depressing that Jimmy Fallon's ratings are higher than his. Dave said he would like to choke him with his guitar strings. Howard asked Dave what his thoughts are. Dave said the real issue is about why Jerry Sandusky is in jail. He said if it's a crime to shower with young boys then who among them isn't guilty? Howard asked if Dave cares who replaces him. Dave said he doesn't care as long as it's not a Jew. Dave also asked Robin what happened to the tumor they removed from her. He said he'd like to eat it on his last show. Robin said she doesn't think she can get a hold of it. Howard asked Dave what he's going to be doing in retirement. Dave said he needs more time to follow Kim Kardashian on Instagram. He said he likes that big ''juggly'' ass. He said he'd like to bend her over and hit that with a curtain rod. Dave said he wants to get a sex change operation like Bruce Jenner. He said he's getting his Adam's apple shaved down. Howard said he doesn't think that Bruce has said he's getting a sex change so he can't say that. Howard asked what he's going to miss most when he retires. Dave said he'll miss the taste of Paul Shaffer's loads. Dave said he's going to be jerking off like a mad man when he retires. Howard asked why he didn't announce the retirement at the birthday bash. Dave said he took one look at Robin's gorgeous breasts and lost his train of thought. Dave said he thinks there are too many Caucasians on TV. He said he hopes they give his time slot to Flavor Flav. Howard asked what he thinks about a woman taking his spot. Dave said that's a slippery slope. He said next thing they'll want is to vote and drive. Howard asked Dave if he wants to travel at all. Dave said he would like to go to the Philippines because you have no idea what young boys will do for a pack of smokes over there. Dave said he is there to announce that he's starting a David Letterman channel there on SiriusXM. He said that it's 24 hours of Justin Bieber pissing into a bucket. Dave said he really quit because he got sick of hearing about Vinnie's musical every minute. Howard said that this is going to be a huge change for him. Dave said he hopes they get that Obamacare web site fixed by 2015. He said if you think he's going to pay for boner pills out of his pocket you're fucking crazy. Dave said he just wanted to say one more thing. Howard said he's not saying anything he wrote. Dave said that he's going to be 67 this weekend. He said they say if you have a boner longer than 4 hours you should go to the mall and bump into people. Howard said that was some last statement. Howard let Dave go a short time later. Robin asked if Dave knows he's retiring with the real Dave. Howard got Dave back on and asked if he realizes that. Dave said he spent half his life in makeup so he thinks he'll be fine. Howard said that Dave can be Dave instead of ''Evil Dave.'' Howard asked if he has a piece of candy in his mouth. Dave said he doesn't. Howard asked if he realizes he's going to retire along with the real David Letterman. Dave said he did realize that. Howard said the only way he gets out of the house is when he does this stuff. Howard said he's not sure they even give Dave's full name on the air. Dave said he only has one name of ''Evil Dave'' like Cher. Howard let Dave go again. Howard said he doesn't think he understands or cares that he's going away. Howard said he couldn't name one anchor man on TV right now. Robin said that there's Scott Pelly on CBS and Diane Sawyer on ABC. Howard said he thought she was on Good Morning America. Robin said she's been doing that for several years now. Howard said he had no fucking clue. He said he really thought she was on Good Morning America. Howard said the only local guy he knows is Chuck Scarborough. Gary said he's celebrating 40 years on the air. Howard said that he makes more money locally than he does national so that's why they keep him around there at NBC. Howard said the only reason he doesn't go national is because of that money. Howard said he's been at pretty much the same place for 40 years. Shandor mentioned how hot the chicks are on FOX News. Howard said they have so many over there. He said they're all blonde and hot. Howard said they have one chick who is really hot and she must fuck like a rabbit. Howard said he wonders if O'Reilly is fucking anyone over there. He said that's disgusting but he does wonder about it. Shandor said he's going in for a heart transplant on the 14th. Howard wished him luck with that. Shandor said he's looking for a heart. Howard said he'll give him Benjy's. Shandor said the show keeps him going and they keep his spirits up. He said Howard has been a guiding light to him for years. He said he's hoping that he's around after the 14th. Howard asked how this thing works. Shandor said he has an enlarged heart and he has to go in on the 14th for tests. He said he'll probably stay in the hospital until they find a heart. He said he never imagined he'd be in this situation. Robin asked how old he is. He said he's 48. Howard asked if he has kids and a wife. Shandor said he does not. Howard said someone in their audience might be dying soon. Robin said it has to be a match though. Shandor said he almost gave a kidney to a family member just before his heart surgery. Howard wished him luck with the heart thing. Howard told him to take care. Howard said this is like Beth taking in all of these cats that have sad stories. Howard said he has to hear all of this stuff every day. He went to break a short time later. Howard came back and asked if Robin thinks Billy will do that song on the 28th. Robin said maybe he'll do it or someone else will. Howard said he wouldn't mind Billy doing that. Howard said maybe he'll do it with him. Howard said Jeff Van Gundy is a real asswipe. Howard said he's the announcer for the Knick games now. He said he went to a game last Wednesday night. Howard said that Beth wanted to go too. He said she likes going to the games. Howard said he said to his wife that it's tough getting up at 4 in the morning and staying through the whole game. Howard said he had to do America's Got Talent the next day too. He said he wanted to go to the game so he figured he'd stick around for the first 3 quarters. He said that he wanted to see the whole game but what can he do. Howard said it was fun being at the game and he was having fun. Howard said he left when the Knicks were up by 20 points. He said he really had to leave because he has to work. He said he's really disciplined about that. Howard said there was a lot of hullabaloo over him leaving. Howard said he's really careful about what he's doing over there. He said that someone wrote that he was laughing at Nick Cannon getting booed there. Howard said he didn't even know Nick was there. Howard said he saw Nick Lachey there at the game and he was staring at them there. He said that weird things go down there. Howard said when he left he heard that Van Gundy was saying that he should never be given tickets to the front row because he left early. Howard said people don't know Jeff's rules about when you can leave or not leave. Howard said the guy has no idea why he left the game. He said he could have had a sick child or something. Howard said you have to hear this holier than thou guy talking about him. Howard played the clip where Jeff Van Gundy was talking about how Howard Stern left the game early and should never be given tickets again. Howard said that he's been up since 4 in the morning and he had no idea that Jeff set up a rule that says you have to stay for all four quarters. They were pointing out the celebrities that were there and then Van Gundy points out that Howard left early and he shouldn't be given tickets again. Howard said that guy hasn't been able to find a coaching job since he left the Knicks. Howard said that they were pointing out that Nick Lachey was there and Howard was gone. Howard said maybe nick isn't as busy as he is. Howard said that they asked him to come to that game. He said that Van Gundy acts like he's still with the Knicks. Howard said that he has nothing to do with the team anymore. Howard said most times he will leave a game early. He said when you get up at 4 in the morning it can be a chore to stay up until 8. He said that Jeff Van Gundy has his own rules about how long you should stay at a game. Howard told van Gundy to say that to his face next time... you midget. Howard said he's another fucking guy who watches him. He said there are a million people there who leave early. Howard said he didn't know there was a rule about leaving early. He said he will continue to get up early and leave. He said if Jeff Van Gundy doesn't like it then he can eat him. Howard said if Nick Lachey leaves early he's not going to call him out on it. Robin said it's really no one's business if Howard leaves early. Howard said that's it. He said he thinks that the Knicks would let him coach them before they'd let Van Gundy coach them again. Howard said maybe he should leave early and get some sleep. Howard asked if he ever won a championship. Robin said no. Gary said he has never won a championship. Howard said he doesn't have time to sit there because he's a winner. He said he's been number 1 and the dedication means you have to leave fun things early. He said he's super dedicated to being number 1. Howard said Van Gundy can float by being number 20. Howard said that guy is so desperate. Howard said he grabbed some guy's leg. Howard said he has to play by the rules. Howard said that guy coached all those years and never got to number 1. Howard said he has been number 1 in New York, L.A., Philadelphia and more. Howard said Van Gundy should look that up and learn something about it. Howard said Van Gundy is a wannabe. He said that he can stay at fun games and make all of the rules he wants. Howard told that cock sucking fuck to listen to him. Howard cut himself off saying that he's going to stop using that term ''cock sucker'' since Anderson Cooper and someone else was talking to him about that. Howard said that maybe ''Douche'' or ''cunt'' would be better. He said that might be too strong. Howard said he doesn't like Jeff. He said he doesn't like guys who aren't number 1 getting jealous and watching him. He said he never speaks out against anyone but him. Howard said next time he's at the game he can come over and say hello to him. He said he's a little troll and he should keep his comments about him to himself. Howard said he's done with that now. Howard said he just made it even more uncomfortable to go to a Knick game. Gary said Howard only has to worry when ESPN covers the game. He said they're not there for every game. Howard said he got on his radar because he decided to comment on him. Howard said he doesn't remember that guy ever winning a championship. He said that means he doesn't have eye of the tiger. He said he will never know the joy of being number 1. Howard said he should be happy he's being allowed to broadcast. Howard said he should just watch the game and shut up. He said he wonders what other rules he has for that stuff. He said that maybe they can give his tickets to Nick Lachey next time. Howard said maybe you're not allowed to eat during free throws either. Howard took a call from Bobo who asked when he's driving around if he uses GPS. Howard said he always has to use GPS. He said the GPS doesn't know where the places are that he has to go though. He said his GPS was freaking out the other day when he was out. He said he has to use the GPS on his iPhone these days. He said that he isn't very good with directions. He said he has no ability to know where he is. H said he has to call Ronnie sometimes. Howard said he's like a baby. Howard said he has a whole thing going on now. He said he takes a lesson on something every week and it has something to do with Art. He said he doesn't want to be ridiculed so he won't say what it is. He said he has no idea how to get to the place he has to go. He said he has been there but he doesn't know where it is. Howard said it's not on the GPS either. Howard said it's only 20 minutes from their house and he should be able to get there on his own. He said Beth suggested he get a car service but he should be able to do it himself. Howard said it's embarrassing. Robin said they had a ride one night when they got lost and they were probably in every borough of New York. Howard said he yells at Robin about it and she's from Baltimore. Robin said they were in Harlem and got outside of the city somehow. She said they had to come back in over a bridge to get home. Howard said he used to get lost taking his daughter to the orthodontist. He said they'd be out for 2 hours lost. He said that he was like a kid driving the car. Bobo said you have to update those GPS things once in a while. Howard said that's why he uses his iPhone. Howard took a call from Walt Frasier, which turned out to be Sour Shoes doing a bad impression for once. Robin said that was the worst he's ever done. Sour was playing some Fleetwood Mac and doing impressions for him. Howard said his favorite impressions are Gary, Mad Dog and Farrell. Sour did all of those for Howard. Sour was doing a lot of his Mad Dog Russo impression. Howard said he had to take a break but he had a story to tell about Mad Dog Russo talking about Gary's pitch. He said he'll do that some other time. He went to break after that. Howard came back and said Kathy Griffin is a comedian. Howard said she won a Grammy for her album ''Calm Down Girl.'' Kathy came in and Howard told her that Benjy is in Sharknado 2. Kathy said she hopes he has back end on that. Howard asked Kathy if she did more plastic surgery. Kathy said she did not. She said she has done nothing lately. Howard said she looks different to him. Howard asked how much she weighs. She said she's 5'3'' all and 110 pounds. Howard said she was probably 50 pounds heavier when he met her. Kathy said maybe 30. Howard asked if she can get down to 99 pounds. Kathy said she hopes to. Kathy said she flirted with Bulimia at one point when she was on Suddenly Susan. She said she would work out and starve after binging too. She said that she would be feeling woozy and confused and not know why. Howard said by eating normally you can get over that. Kathy said she had lipo done and she had photos that she found funny but they were actually horrifying. Howard asked if she wished she had figured this out earlier in her life. Kathy said she does. She said she's 53 now. She said she has to use lube every time she has sex now. She said that she's gone through menopause. She still has a young boyfriend. She said he's 35 and she's 53. Howard asked what she uses for lube. Kathy said she has the lube right there within reach. She said it's right there. Howard asked if she's still horny and dry. Kathy said that she is still horny. She said that she puts this cream right on her vagina like she was told to do. Howard asked if her boyfriend is upset that he can't get her worked up. Kathy said guys don't care about that. Howard said he would think that he's not satisfying a woman if she doesn't get worked up enough to get wet. He said he knows it's a physical thing though. Kathy said she's on this hormone cream that keeps your vagina young. Robin said it's an anti aging thing. Howard said that doesn't work. Robin said it does work. She said they're hormones so they do work. Kathy said she was having hot flashes and all of that. Howard said maybe the body goes through that for a reason. Howard said that maybe it's like the women who went through morning sickness and took Thalidomide. Kathy said she can't believe he went there. Howard asked if Kathy blows her boyfriend. She said she does but she doesn't think she gives great ones. Howard said he thinks that women don't really enjoy penis when they don't do that very well. Kathy said that she thinks it's because of her gag reflex. Howard said you don't have to take the whole penis in there. Kathy said she gets it. Robin said that you have to do things with your hands. Kathy said they're all different. Howard said that when he was with this one girl she blew him in a hotel room. Howard said she had a way of doing it and she didn't take it all the way in there. He said her mouth was really wet and she didn't use her teeth. Howard said the whole act is ridiculous if you think about it but you don't have to take the whole penis down your throat. Kathy said in porn they do that gagging thing and that's what guys are into. She said it's tough to figure out the ratio of shaft to head and all of that. Howard said he wants to understand what the move is to use the lube. Kathy said when he's going for the condom she's going for the lube and she has a 2 second move. She said that she's always had her guys using condoms so she's pro-condom. She said that's their thing so that's when they do their thing and meet in the middle. She said that they both just do their thing and they're ready to go. Kathy said if they have to change position she has to re-lube. Kathy said she can't have to go to the hospital from not being lubed enough. Howard asked how long the guy lasts. Kathy said it depends on him. She said sometimes he'll be quick and sometimes he'll last a long time. She said she may change position and get the lube again. Kathy said that this conversation is what led to a falling out she had with Barbara Walters. She said that Howard told her that he'd bang Barbara Walters years ago. Howard said that was a lie. Kathy said he told her in the dressing room at The View that she might want to grab the K-Y and she said she prefers Astroglide. She said she told that joke in a stand up special and she was banned from The View for years. She said she had to work her way back on the show. Howard asked if the boyfriend ever applies the lube. Kathy said she thinks he's fixated on his penis and he knows she's going to take care of the ''vagine.'' Howard said Kathy looks more glamorous than usual. He said he likes it. Howard said she was at the birthday bash in the audience. Kathy said that show was great and she had a great view. Kathy said they had the chick table next to her and it was so much fun. Kathy said she thinks Howard is pro-woman. Howard said of course he is. He said he would like to see someone like Kathy take over for Letterman. Kathy said since Joan Rivers there hasn't been a woman in a position like that. Kathy said it just ended after her. Howard said they have mentioned Chelsea Handler as a possible replacement. Kathy said maybe she and Anderson Cooper could take over. Howard talked about how great his interview was with Anderson. Howard said Kathy is friends with Cher and he heard that she called Bob Mackie to make her some dresses and he turned her down. Kathy said she heard that it was just too close to tour time and he didn't have time to design her new dresses. Howard said he thought that maybe he was just annoyed with Cher. Howard said that he thinks that Kathy has to work hard to be friendly with Cher. Kathy said she has to be funny even in a tweet or a text to someone. Howard said that he feels the same way. Kathy said she doesn't know what to do at some point. She said the only person she has sexted is Anderson Cooper. She said that when he's in a deep, dark news story she'll send him a picture of herself topless just to keep his spirits up. She said he may not be expecting that and it helps keep him up. Howard said he thinks that Cher hates him. Kathy said she'll work on getting her on the show. Howard said he would love to interview her. Kathy said that someone tweeted about dolls that they made of her and Cher. Kathy said she texted Cher the other night with the pictures and sometimes she'll write back and sometimes she won't. Howard said he doesn't want to work hard in his personal life. Kathy said she only got 2 hours of sleep last night. She told Howard that she used to get her ass kicked in school. She said that she was called ''dog'' in school. She said everyone would bark as she walked down the halls. She said that went on for 8 years in catholic school. Kathy said she got jumped in the park once and she remembers rolling up in a ball. She said that she had 4 girls kicking her and people were walking by doing nothing. Howard asked if the nuns ever stepped in. Kathy said a nun once walked right past her and didn't do a thing. Howard asked if she's big on the anti-bullying campaign. Kathy said she is. She said the difference between what comedians do and what bullies do is so different. Kathy said she once got a letter from one of these girl's husbands who said he'd like her to come out and put his wife in her place. Kathy said that the woman must have bragged to her husband about what she did to her. Howard asked if that's why she didn't have kids. Kathy said that is part of it. She said that she was also into working so much that she didn't have time for it. Robin said that she never had that biological clock ticking like so many women do. Howard said it must be a tremendous victory for her to be accepted. Kathy said she is not in the club at all. Howard said Kathy did win a Grammy for her album. Kathy said she's the first woman to win since 1986. She said that Whoopi and Lily Tomlin are the only other two who won. Kathy said she has something in her act about Howard. She said that he can't stop her either. She said she never apologized to Oprah about what she said about her. Kathy said that she's watching the Lindsay Lohan documentary and she's watching it very closely. She said that Oprah has a god complex. Howard said she really does. Howard said she said that she'd never do that kind of programming but she's doing that Lindsay Lohan thing. Howard asked Kathy if the best way to handle her is to become friends with her. Kathy said no. She said no one gets the pass. Howard asked if people come up to her and try to stop her from talking about them. Kathy said she was doing Hollywood Squares and Alec Baldwin came up to her and said he loves her work. She said that no one gets off though. She said that she has been fired a lot more than she's been hired but that's her policy. Howard said Kathy was on the Brooke Shields show ''Suddenly Susan'' for four years. Howard said she was best friends with Brooke but then she came on the show and talked about her and now Brooke doesn't talk to her. Kathy said what Howard did was tell her to say that Brooke was a comedic genius and she didn't do that. She said that what got her mad at her was the talk about Brooke's mom. Howard said she imitated her mom and she stopped talking to her. Kathy said she has run into Brooke a few times and she is cordial to her. She said that she'll be Brooke and say hi but she's not a fan. Howard said it must be weird to have been so close and now she doesn't talk. Kathy asked Howard if there is anyone he likes no matter what. Kathy said Barbara Walters is the one for her. She said she loves Barbara no matter what is going on between them. Howard said it's amazing that Kathy is the way she is after being bullied as a child. Kathy said that she had to make the girls laugh to keep them from kicking her ass. Howard asked if she ever went home and cried over it. Kathy said she was more about revenge and trying to outwit them. Howard asked if she ever thought about getting a dog collar and calling herself a dog. Kathy said she did that with her TV show ''My Life On the D List.'' She said that was her way of doing that. Howard asked Kathy if she has a tough time with comedians saying she's not funny and things like that. Kathy said she did early on in her career. She said that they'd tell her that she's not really telling jokes but stories instead. She said that Louis C.K. was like that back when they were younger but she saw him recently and he was very nice to her. Howard asked Kathy about when she got into comedy. She said that came after she was acting. She said it didn't start until she was 30. Kathy said she hasn't had surgery since 2001 but she thought that she could be turned into Jennifer Aniston with enough surgery. Kathy said she remembers the first and last time she was on Oprah and she had complications with her lipo. She said she didn't want her thighs to touch at the time. She said she remembers Oprah telling her not to get liposuction. Kathy said she finds that pretty funny coming from Oprah. Howard said he's heard that everyone in Hollywood has had work done. Kathy said she doesn't think Oprah has. Howard said he thinks she's had Botox. Robin said Oprah has bags under her eyes. Kathy said she doesn't think she's had anything. Howard said no matter how much you get or how thin you get, do you feel like you're still unattractive. Kathy said that she said she will never feel pretty. Howard asked if the doctors would tell her that they could turn her into Jennifer Aniston. Kathy said they did. Kathy said that anything they could do was better than this. Howard asked if she's happy now. Kathy said she is happier now than she has ever been. Howard asked if she thinks that the boyfriend thinks she's not that hot. Kathy said that it can be like that. Howard said it's a terrible thing to live with that. Kathy said that her boyfriend looks great when he wakes up in the morning. Howard said he knows what that's like. He said that Beth is like that. Howard asked if Kathy has seen her boyfriend's ex's and are they hot. Kathy said they're his age and they are attractive. Howard said he was going to ask about Gwyneth Paltrow. Kathy said she is not a fan. Kathy said if she looked 1/10th as great as her she would look happy. She said she always makes that pissy face though. Howard said Beth considers her the ultimate for women. Howard said as a man he doesn't understand that. Howard had to think about who he finds really attractive. Howard said he doesn't think it's Angelina Jolie or anyone like that. Howard said it's not Jessica Alba or Sophia Vergara ether. Howard said Megan Fox is very attractive. Howard said she has fucked herself up with surgery though. Howard said most women have had nose jobs in Hollywood. Howard asked Kathy about the birthday bash. Kathy said there was so much going on there. She said that Tan Mom has to take over for Benjy at some point. She said that she arrived when Joan Rivers got there. She said that Joan had a fur on and she was screaming at them that it was fur and she wasn't apologizing. Kathy said that she found that hysterical. She said that Joan has been through so much. Kathy said that Joan made a comment about Rihanna and the Twitter fans came after Joan. Howard said he had that with Britney Spears fans. He said that they came after him after he said something about her. Howard said that Kathy had a Twitter war with Demi Lovato. Kathy said she really doesn't engage in that stuff. She said she never minds when a celebrity is mad at her though. She said that's fine with her. She said that Whitney Houston got in her face and waved her finger. She said she told her to never talk about her. Kathy said she made a joke about her at the Billboard awards and she doesn't even remember what she said. Kathy said she scared her though. Howard asked if she was afraid she was going to get hit. Kathy said she was. She said she was all alone back stage when Whitney confronted her. Howard asked Kathy what went on with her and Demi Lovato. Kathy said she was doing a Q and A one night in the middle of the night. She said she was letting Siri write it all for her and she wasn't correcting the mistakes. She said she made a joke about Mel Gibson and never heard a word from his fans. Then someone asked her who the douchiest person she's ever met was. She said that she said Demi Lovato was a little douchy and Siri posted it as something else. Kathy said that Demi's fans saw that and they freaked out on her. She said she brought some of their comments with her to read. She read about how they wanted to burn down her house and wanted her dead. They were threatening to kill her in her sleep and things like that. She was told to slit her own throat and things like that. Howard asked if Kathy had to call the cops. Kathy said they actually called her. She said that they apparently monitor that stuff. Kathy said she's not going to be bullied into stoping what she does. She said that she never made any threats though. Howard asked if Kathy is exhausted at the end of the day. He said that she's very busy with this stuff. Kathy said she is constantly on. She said she has an energy disorder. She said that her boyfriend says that she wears him out. Howard asked if she tries to calm down after that. Kathy said that he may go back to his apartment to watch Game of Thrones while she watches Wives with Knives or something. Kathy said that at the birthday show it was great when Jon Bon Jovi's face dropped when he saw Chris Christie walk out on stage and not know where to go. She said that he came out and then Jon sang ''Wanted Dead or Alive'' and they couldn't have written that. Kathy said that the musical performances were great there and it was great to see them live. Kathy said that Downey yelling at the audience was great. She said that she could have listened to the Letterman interview for 5 hours. She said it was a bizarre moment because there was a Wack Pack fight breaking out during the interview. Howard said he has done these type of shows and the audience wasn't paying attention. He said he barreled ahead and just did it. He said he knew the people at home would enjoy it. Kathy said Howard stuck to it. Howard said he ignored there was an audience there. Kathy said Dave could have left after 3 questions. Howard said he thought Dave was enjoying it. Kathy said she thinks he was too. Howard said it's kind of sad that Dave is going. Kathy said she had a talk with her friend Tom Hanks. Howard said he dint know she was friends with him. Kathy said she met him at an event they were at. She said that Harry Stiles from One Direction was there too. She said he was asking Tom about Captain Phillips and being all cute. She talked about how she almost stole Harry's jacket that night but her boyfriend talked her out of it. Howard said that Kathy is doing a lot of comedy shows. Kathy said she's all over the place. You can find out where she's appearing at KathyGriffin.com Howard said he hopes she never runs into a Demi Lovato fan at her events. Howard said she has balls going out after talking shit about so many people. Howard said she becomes friends with people and goes right out and bad mouths them. Howard said he's going to L.A. in about a week and a half but they're not going to have a Kimmel Party. Howard said that he doesn't feel like the king of England. He said he feels like Dog. Howard said that he will also be working the whole time out there. Howard said he and Jimmy will go out to dinner or something but that's it. Howard said it's just going to be 8 people. Howard said he doesn't want more than that. Howard said if Kathy was there she'd just ridicule them. Howard asked Kathy what event she has gone to that she doesn't talk about. Kathy said she has done that. She mentioned Jane Fonda's birthday party and said there was plenty for her to talk about but she kept it quiet. Kathy said she is still a human being and she has a line she won't cross. Howard said he loves Kathy and he's glad that she's doing so well. Howard said she has done the most televised comedy specials. Kathy said it's 20 and its more than any comedian has ever done. Howard said he's sorry to hear about her brother. Kathy said he passed away a month ago from esophageal cancer. Howard asked if he was a smoker. Kathy said he was not. Howard asked if he had a wife and kids. Kathy said that only one of her siblings got married and had kids. Kathy said this brother did not. Howard asked if he was gay. Kathy said he was straight and he had lots of girlfriends. She said that he didn't go in a pleasant way either. She said that she spent more time with him around the end. She said that he passed away in California. She said that he came out to visit her and stayed out there. She said her mom is still around and that was rough on her. Howard said if he had known about it he would have sent her a note. Howard said he would have been afraid of being ridiculed by her in her act though. Howard wrapped up with Kathy and gave her another plug for her web site. They went to break after that. Howard said Jon Hein gave him an article about Microsoft. Howard said they are announcing this thing that's like Siri and that's what Microsoft does. They always come out with it after Apple does. Robin said maybe they can't. Howard said it just bothers him. Robin said that's what makes capitalism. Robin said it keeps prices down. Howard said they need to have some innovations for Office and things like that. Howard said he gave up on Windows years ago though. He said he's upset about this copy of Siri. He said he is a fan of capitalism but he's also a big fan of people who come up with new ideas. Robin said that he didn't get upset with Nick Cannon when he went with a company to come out with headphones that were cheaper than Dr. Dre's. Howard said he wasn't inventing headphones though. Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's been playing a movie trailer of him playing a retarded kid but he doesn't get what the joke is there. Howard said that was an old bit they did. Fred said he's not sure what the name of it was. Howard said it may have been a My Left Foot bit. The caller said he thought he got everything with Howard but not that bit. Howard said maybe it's not funny. He said he finds it funny when an actor plays a retarded person. He said that sometimes only he finds his stuff funny. Howard took a call from Nicole Bass. Howard asked how she's doing. Nicole said she's getting back into the gym. She said she got fat. Howard said he finds that funny when people who are into fitness get fat. Howard said she has to cut back on the eating. Nicole said her husband passed and that really sucked. She said she stayed in her room watching TV. Howard said that sounds like something he'd like to do. Nicole said she's so pissed at Howard and Robin and Fred and everyone there. Robin asked why that is. Nicole said she has been with him how long. She said it's been a long, long time. Howard said her voice has gotten deeper and richer. That led to Fred doing his Herman Munster laugh for her. Nicole said that she wanted to come to the birthday show. Howard said they couldn't have everyone there. Nicole said she was going to show him her vagina for his 60th. Howard said maybe at the next birthday party. Howard said he would have had her there but she was too fat. Nicole said she's not that fat. Nicole said she's pissed at Howard for going around kissing Howie Mandel. Howard said he does love Nicole and he's sorry about her husband. Howard asked if Nicole showing her vagina is a gift or a punishment. Robin said she doesn't know about that. Howard said they had limited seats there and they couldn't have everyone there. Howard said there are still people who are mad at them for that. Howard said it's a big mess. Robin started off her news with a story about how they talked to Jay Leno about taking over for David Letterman. Howard said he thinks he has that clip. Howard said it may have been a TMZ clip. Jay said that he and Dave are going to do The Sunshine Boys on Broadway together. The interviewer asked Jay who he thinks should take over for Dave. Jay didn't have an answer that made sense. Howard said he's trying to be a nice guy but you can tell he's just annoyed. Robin read a story about a model, Geena Rocero, who was born a boy. She said she had given the picture to Howard earlier. Howard said he saw it and he thought it was a woman until someone told him it was a dude. Robin said that the model said that she was ''assigned'' a boy when she was born because of the appearance of her genitals. Robin said that the model gave a speech on the Ted stage. Robin said she was terrified to come out. Howard said this is going to kill her modeling career. He said that's unfortunate and he knows people will get mad at him for saying that but it will. Robin asked if he would make love to her. Howard said he doesn't want to be in a man made vagina. He said based on that picture though he might. Robin said she thinks that he'd do it. Howard said if he was on an island the rest of his life he'd just take hand jobs. He said he's freaked out by the man made vagina thing. Robin asked if Howard has ever masturbated with something odd. Howard said no. Robin said he has. Howard said he did stick his dick in that fake vagina thing. He said he did that on the air though. Robin said he tried one out at home. Howard said he hurt his dick. He didn't know he had to lube the fake vagina. Howard said this model looks like a real girl but it would freak him out of he knew. Robin said when she looked at this model she thought about how Asian transsexuals can pull this off. She said some of them are really beautiful. Howard said that some of them look like dudes though. Howard said that they have them beat in that category. Howard said Richard Christy used to fuck the cardboard tubes in paper towel rolls. Howard asked Benjy if he could fuck someone like that. Benjy said that he might be turned off to it if he saw it in person. Howard said he would find the part that looks like a guy. Howard said he knows Fred would be all over this dude. Robin asked Howard if he could find Ukraine on a map. Howard said he'd have a hard time finding the United States on a globe. Howard said he has no idea where Ukraine is. Robin said they say only 6 out of 10 American's could find it. Robin read about the family that took their 1 and 3 year olds on a boat trip around the world. Robin said they had to be rescued when their 1 year old got sick and their electronics failed. Robin said the mother was writing openly about her misgivings about taking their 2 kids on the trip. Robin said that she wrote that it might be the stupidest thing they've ever done. Robin said the child had a rash 2 weeks before they started their trip. Howard said she doesn't see that she has to put her personal needs aside sometimes. Robin said they say her daughter was treated for salmonella just weeks before. Robin said kids get sick all the time. She said she can't believe that family. Robin read a story about how the night sky is going to be putting on an impressive show. Robin said the earth, sun and mars will be in almost a straight line. Robin said that you'll be able to see it moving over head all night. Robin said that it will be 10 times brighter than the rest of the stars in the sky. Howard said it's never good when you see it. Howard said it's not that much fun. Howard asked if the story about internet speeds tripling soon. Robin said there is a story about how they could be bumping up the speeds. Howard read a live commercial after that. Robin read a story about Oscar Pistorius. Howard said that guy is fucking nuts. He said she should just go to jail. Robin said he's trying to impress the judge in the case. Robin said he doesn't have a whole jury to impress. Robin said he cries and it means nothing. Robin had some audio for Howard to play. Howard said he can't imagine the guy not doing jail time. Howard played the clip of Pistorius talking about shooting his girlfriend through the bathroom door when he thought there was an intruder in the house. Howard said he sounds kind of like Peter Sellers doing that French accent. At one point Pistorius said he didn't have his legs on when he went to find the intruders. Howard wondered if the judge is falling for any of this. Robin said it's not clear because she's not speaking. Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he's heard about the prequel to the Walking Dead that was mentioned in Rolling Stone. Howard said he can't imagine they'd do that because they're not fighting zombies in that. The caller said it would be what led up to it. Howard said they could do flashbacks in The Walking Dead. The caller said he knows Howard loves The Walking Dead. Howard said he is into it but he's not sure he'd be into that. He said he's not sure he'll be into Better Call Saul which is a spin off of Breaking Bad. Howard said The Walking Dead would be called Walking Alive. Howard said he wants to see Zombies and not watch people having their normal lives. Robin read a story about Ben Affleck quitting Batman Vs. Superman. Robin said that Idris Elba is replacing him as Batman. Howard said he's black though. Howard said he thought Batman was white. Robin said Howard asked for changes and this is a change. Howard said that's fine. He said he thinks that guy is a good actor. Robin said he's great in Luther. Howard said he likes that they give the job to a black guy. Howard asked why Ben Affleck quit. Robin said there were some strange scheduling conflicts with him. Robin said that Idris is already in the Thor franchise. Howard said that's right. Robin said he may switch over or maybe he'll do both. Howard asked if Alfred will be black. Robin asked why he'd have to be black. Howard said he doesn't know. Howard said there's only one source of that story Robin read and it was posted on April 1st. Howard said it's probably an April Fools joke. Howard said that's why he hates April Fools. Howard said he just read that at the end of the story that it was a joke. Robin said she didn't read the whole thing because Fred gave it to her. Robin read a story about the search for the Malaysian airliner. Robin said they have stopped hearing the pings from the black box. Robin said they're still listening for them but they haven't heard anything lately. Robin had some audio of an official talking about that. Howard read a live commercial after that. Robin read about that Idris Elba story getting a lot of interest and a lot of people want more of him as a super hero. Robin said that Idris is all for it and he'd like to play either character. Robin said the White House will not be banning selfies there. Robin said a baseball player used a selfie he took with President Obama to do promotion for Samsung. Howard said he hates that word ''selfie.'' He said that Heidi and Mel love them because they're good looking. Howard said the Loch Ness Monster hates them. He said only good looking people like selfies. Robin had some audio of someone at the White House commenting on the rumor that they were going to ban selfies. Robin said that Derek Jeter's last season is this year. Robin said that the Yankees won their game the other day and she had some audio of Jeter commenting on that game. Howard wondered if he should watch the games so some day he can tell someone he saw him play. Gary said he might have to go to a stadium and actually watch. Howard said he has no desire to go to a game. He said it seems like such a horror. Howard said he went to games with his father when he was young and he learned nothing. He said his dad filled out this card during the game. He said his dad would give him one and tell him to fill it out. He said he had no idea what to do with it. Howard said he could go to school and get tortured instead of a game. He said that's what he would have rather done. Howard said his dad would threaten to pull over to the side of the road and leave him. Howard said he would worry about what he was going to do if he did that to him. Howard said sometimes they'd actually pull over and open the door. Howard said you don't make a Howard Stern by throwing a party. Howard said this unique comet only happens with the right set of horrible experiences. Robin said that's a pretty scary thing. She said that would frighten a child. Howard said he didn't understand what the word traffic was so he'd ask if it was traffic. He said his dad would yell at him to shut up. Howard was doing impressions of his parents while he was talking about that. Howard said his dad took him to the track once and he thought he knew something about it because he accidentally picked the right horse to win. Howard said he told his dad in the car how he picked the winner by seeing the number 8 on a pole. Howard said he never went to the track again after that. Howard said he never had any fun. He said it was all a nightmare. He said life was just hard. Robin said not everyone is having that experience. Benjy said he loved hanging out with his dad. Howard said he learned a lot from his dad. He said that's how he keeps all of these mother fuckers in line. Robin read about a congressman who was video recorded kissing a staff member. He has to apologize to his wife and family now. Robin read a story about a spinal injury treatment that could help a lot of patients. Robin said that it mimics brain signals with an electrical implant. Robin said that this has allowed 4 men to move their legs for the first them since being paralyzed. Howard asked if this is another April Fools story. Robin said it is not. Howard said that would be the most wonderful thing of all. Robin read a story about Bob Geldof talking about his daughter's passing and how it destroys him to have to talk about her in the past tense. Robin read some of his quote about his daughter. Howard said it seems like just a year ago he was in there telling them about his daughter Peaches. Howard said it's just unbelievable that the kid as come and gone now. Robin said she was thinking about how she has 2 children with her husband and he's going to go off on his own life. Robin said that Bob wants the kids to be part of his family though. Robin said the guy may go on to marry another woman and she may not want to be part of the Geldof family. Robin read a story about a woman who used 911 to ask for a ride home from a bar. Robin said the woman was arrested at the bar she called from. Robin said the woman knew she shouldn't drive because she was drunk. Robin had some audio of the woman's call to 911. Howard said she didn't sound that drunk. Howard said she's a dummy. He said she should have called a cab. Robin read a story about some people who were arrested for beating up a guy who accidentally hit a 10 year old kid. The man stopped to get out to check on the kid when the people beat him. Robin said he's been in a medically induced coma since last Wednesday. Howard said that accidents can happen. He said even unfortunate ones. Robin had some audio of an official talking about the investigation. Robin said the guy did the right thing by stopping but this shows why people leave sometimes. Robin said it's nuts what people are up to sometimes. Robin read a story about a police officer who is suing the LAPD over his religion. Robin said he claims that he's been harassed because of his religion. Robin said he claims he was forced to sick through a Christian ceremony and he's a practicing Wicken so he was offended. Howard said there are a lot of religions. Robin read about how Neil Patrick Harris has been named as a possible replacement for David Letterman. Robin said that Chuck Schumer wants the show to stay in New York no matter who takes over. Robin had some audio of him talking about that. Robin read a story about the Dave Clark Five and asked Howard what he thinks about them. Howard sang a couple of their songs and had Fred play some of their stuff. Howard and the guys talked about how they were considered clones of the Beatles but they were doing their thing at the same time as the Beatles. Robin said they have a film coming out about the Dave Clark Five and they have a bunch of rock stars talking about them in the film. There will also be a book coming out by the end of the year. Robin read a story about people not exercising enough and what people can do to get a little bit at least. Robin had some audio of a woman giving advice on what to do even if it's just a little bit. Howard blurted out that he wishes he had a big penis. He said he forgot they were on the air. Robin read a story about the UConn basketball team win and how their fans were celebrating. Robin had some audio of some people talking about their win. Robin said Johnny Depp and Jimmy Kimmel had a kiss on the air. Robin had some audio of that moment from the show last night. Robin said this is the second time they did this. Howard said he saw that Jimmy had Bill Clinton on and it was a very good interview. Robin read about how a showing of the movie Noah was canceled by a flood. She said she found that interesting. They ended the show as short time later. They were done around 10:25am. Jon said that Evil Dave doesn't seem to know that the real Dave's retirement means his retirement. Gary said that Dave may go on for a few years after Letterman is gone. Jon said he can see Dave going off and vanishing when he retires. Jon said that Howard went off on Jeff Van Gundy today. He said that's the first rant they've heard in a while. He said Jeff may not have realized what he was getting into when he commented on Howard. Gary said Jeff has these rules and they're not written down and given to anyone else. He said they're just his rules though. Jon said there are some rules as a courtesy for games. Gary said if they were working the next day and the game was a blow out then they'd get out of there. Jon said he would have left too. Jon said Howard was talking about how geographically challenged he is. He said he didn't know how bad it was. Gary said he has only been in the car with Howard a couple of times. He said he drove once so he didn't see how bad he was with directions. Jon asked Gary how he felt hearing Nicole Bass today. Gary said he felt badly about a lot of people he wasn't able to invite. He said decisions had to be made. Jon took a call from a guy who said Howard went on for like 20 minutes on Jeff Van Gundy. He said that he loves Howard but he went over the same thing over and over for 20 minutes. Gary said it was a biting comment from Van Gundy. The caller said he thought it was funny. Jon said maybe Van Gundy thought that he as being like Howard saying something like that. Gary said he would love to have a camera when Van Gundy's phone blows up with people telling him what Howard is saying about him. Gary said he's not sure how it could be worse than what was said today. Benjy said he agrees with Howard about who gives a fuck when he leaves. Benjy said it's not a rule Howard would ever have. He said Howard might point out the same thing if he thought something was done wrong. Jon took a call from Hanzi who said that he thinks Gary is a liar when he says he's not behind the Eric the Midget stuff. He said he's part of what goes on there and pretends he doesn't know. Hanzi said they fuck with people from the show and they get them all riled up for good air time. Gary asked Hanzi if he thinks there is a large group of people he fucks with. Hanzi said yes. Gary asked when he thinks he has time to do that. Hanzi said he has people helping him out. He said he isn't spending his time personally doing it. Hanzi said he has people to help him and none of this is really real. Gary asked what the goal is to messing with Eric. Hanzi said maybe good air time and making them look crazy half the time. Jon asked Hanzi if he thinks that JD is part of it too. Hanzi said he wouldn't be surprised. He said he's not the full culprit. He said there are probably other people who do it. Benjy said that anyone who gets any notice on the show gets riled up. He said he must see that on the internet. Hanzi said that there's a lot going on out there like companies buying followers and things like that. He said if you speak about the higher ups in the world then you get harassed. Jon said Eric has gotten some TV appearances and things. He asked Hanzi if he feels he deserves that too. He asked how that works into the conspiracy theories. Hanzi said he knows that they're going to say he thinks he is entitled. He said that he has contributed to the show whether or not people will admit it. He said that he is the only one who hasn't gotten shit for it. He said other people are profiting off of it. He said that's why he's in his parent's basement. Gary asked who is profiting off of him. Hanzi said he has no idea. He said any place he walks into he knows this stuff is going on. Gary said if he drops him in the middle of Alabama no one would know who he is. He said he doesn't think he's nationally or internationally known. Hanzi said he can't win in this. Gary asked why he thinks he can't go anywhere without people knowing him. Hanzi said it's called gang stalking. He said people have secretly been messaging him about what's been going on with fucking with him and things like that. Gary asked Hanzi if he thinks that people hear him get upset and they just fuck with him by telling him this stuff. He said it's just people tweaking him. Hanzi said this is all in his head. He said that he doesn't expect to uncover anything. He said he just knows how this works. Hanzi said he didn't choose to believe this stuff. Hanzi said people are making money off of him. Benjy asked if he has anyone who says they genuinely like him. Hanzi said no. He said he doesn't even like being on this planet. He said that if he says he doesn't want to be there then he's even more nuts. He said he is always going to be the joke of the show. Gary said they have to move on but today he wasn't the joke. He said he was able to get an answer today and actually have a conversation. Jon and Gary thanked him for calling in and then went to break. Gary asked when Ronnie saw Cher live last. Ronnie said it was probably 4 years ago in Las Vegas. He said it was a great show. Ronnie said he may not be around for her next local show. Gary said Cyndi Lauper is opening for her at some things. Ronnie said he may not be around for Cher at the Barclay center. He said that might be the night Howard is doing the Billy Joel thing. Jon asked Ronnie if he listens to Cher music on his way to the show. Ronnie said he was in the hotel. He said he didn't listen. He didn't drive over. Gary said that he went to see Lady Gaga at Roseland and they were listening to her music on the way there. He said he wanted to see what her show was all about and he enjoyed it. Jon asked Ronnie who his favorite singers are. Ronnie said it's probably The Beach Boys. Gary asked if he saw Mike Love at the birthday show. Ronnie said he didn't see him. Gary said he's surprised that Ronnie isn't into country music since he's into NASCAR. Ronnie said that he is into some of that stuff. He said Stephanie is into the Beach Boys and some country too. Jon asked if she was a Beach Boys fan before she met him. Ronnie said she was. He said he was into the Beatles, the Monkees and all of that. Jon asked him what his favorite Beach Boys songs were. Ronnie said he doesn't know. He mentioned a couple when Jon started rattling them off. Jon asked what it is about Cher that he likes. Ronnie said he doesn't know. He said he heard her stuff when he was a kid. He said he was actually the same age as them. Gary asked if he was bummed when Sonny died. Ronnie said it was pretty upsetting. Jon asked what songs he likes. Ronnie mentioned a couple and said he likes some of her new stuff. Jon asked if he just liked her look. Ronnie said it was that too. He said she was hot. Jon asked Ronnie if he gets why Kathy Griffin is so protective of her relationship with Cher. Gary said she's friends with an iconic A-lister. He said she doesn't want that fucked up. Jon asked if Ronnie would take the chance of going to dinner with Kathy if she might use him in her act. Ronnie said he wouldn't care. Gary said she will name names when she's on the show and she's shocked when Howard won't go out to dinner or go to her house. Gary said she's going to talk about you either way. He said he loves hearing about that but he doesn't want to be a part of it. Ronnie said that they do the same thing there. He said that it's the same thing. Gary said he has an idea of how Howard is going to spin it. He said he wouldn't want Howard to be part of Kathy's act. Ronnie said he gets it there so he wouldn't care if he got it from Kathy. Ronnie said going to a party is something you should be able to do without worrying about Howard finding out about it. He said that's not what it's like for everyone. Gary said it is though. He said if they worked at an office they'd have the same thing at the water cooler. Ronnie said that people tend to forget things by Monday if they party on the weekend. Gary didn't think that was the case. Gary asked Ronnie about what the difference is between a work function and a party. Ronnie said if it's about business then it's a work function. He said if you're just out at a party then you're drinking and having fun. Jon asked what it is when they go to a steak house. Ronnie said that's a guy's night out. He said that was for Jon's birthday. Jon said it was not. Jon said they really had to take a break after that. Jon took another call from a woman who said she understands what Ronnie is saying. She said that people who work together still talk about things that happen at parties that aren't for work. She said that they still talk about that guy who got drunk and danced on a table. She said that he did it at the other party but they still talk about him as being the guy who gets drunk and dances on a table. Gary said there was a story about a guy who told a woman at a party to blow him or she was fired. She got fired the next Monday morning and she ended up suing and wining that case. Ronnie said he would have taken her out to the car at least. He said he wouldn't have done it at the party. Jon got back to Kathy Griffin and brought up the story she told about how she was called ''dog'' for 8 years while she went to school. Gary said that's pretty brutal. He said it reminds him of ''Welcome to the Doll House.'' Jon said that can do some serious mental damage. Ronnie said that might be why her act is so vicious. He said she's taking it out on other people by attacking celebrities. Jon asked if that's what she should do or should she take it back. Ronnie said she should keep doing it. Gary asked JD if he was picked on in school. JD said he was picked on a little bit. He said he was able to morph that into being invisible. He said he was able to be friends with all kinds of people. He said he wasn't too social but it was at school so there were people around all the time. Jon asked JD if he had any nicknames there. JD said he was called Cheesy. Jon asked why he was called that. JD said they were doing auditions for some play and he said something and a girl said it was very cheesy and he said ''It's not easy being cheesy'' and it stuck. Jon asked if Ronnie had any nicknames. Ronnie said no. He said he didn't get picked on either. He said he was kind of in the bad crowd. He said he was in The Hitters in school. He said things were different there. He said that it was just different guys and girls. He said that the collegiate girls would stick with the collegiate guys but then once in a while they'd want to slip in with the bad boys. He said it's like of like West Side. Gary said he got his ass kicked a bunch of times in school. He said he was kind of dweeby and a wise ass. Gary said he had a slot car track and he talked to this one guy about it. He said he thought he was his friend. He said that the kid threatened to beat him up if he didn't bring him 4 pieces of track. He said he ended up telling his mom and then the guy said he was going to beat his ass the next week. Jon took a call from a guy who asked why they though that JD was either bullied or invisible. Gary said JD had told them that before so he had a clue. Jon asked Benjy if he was bullied. Benjy said he was kind of a character and he kind of enjoyed that. Benjy said he was picked on. He said there were people who were completely harassed. He said he hopes he didn't pick on them but he might have. Gary said he was voted most popular in school at one point. He said after he won it he was surprised at what dicks people could be. He said he didn't ask for the vote so he didn't know why they were giving him shit for it. Jon said he thinks he's going to wrap up the show now. He let the guys get in their plugs and then ended the show around 11:15am. Howard started the show talking about how someone told him that the Khaleesi won't do nude scenes on Game of Thrones anymore. Howard said she was naked and that's why everyone loved her. Howard said that she's boring now. Howard said he hasn't seen the first episode of the new season but he will. He said he hates that when someone pulls that. He said they get some success and they change the whole deal. Robin said they become a sensation on the show and they see that others don't have to do that. Howard said he's been following the story about Reverend Al Sharpton and he doesn't want to get too deep into it. He said long story short he was an FBI informant on the mob. Howard said on the front page of the paper they were calling him a rat. Howard said he thinks the guy is a Rabble-rouser and he hates the Tawana Brawley stuff. He said if you're an informant he's not sure why they can't protect that fact. Howard said he's not sure why that stuff is top secret. Howard said he'd be shitting his pants if that news got out. Robin said that's a brave thing to do. Howard said it might be the only brave thing he's done. Howard said the other thing is that if someone wears a wire against the mob they call him a rat. Howard said he's not sure why they're so vested in that. Robin said it's on the cover of the newspaper. Howard said it's not right that they call him a rat. Howard said he thinks that in the paper they're saying there was a drug deal that went bad and that he may have been doing business with the mob. Robin said he's claiming that h was in the record business and the mob was trying to muscle in. Howard said it really disturbs him that they can't keep this a secret. He said they say the information is out because of the freedom of information act. Howard said he doesn't think that's right. Howard said in general if someone wears a wire he wouldn't want that broadcast all over the place. Robin said she wouldn't want to see them called a rat either. Howard said he doesn't want to see this country turned into Mexico where being a rat is the wrong thing. Howard said Rob Lowe and Danny Trejo are coming in today. Howard said he loves Danny as Machete. Howard said he was reading about him and he has a philosophy about acting where he says if they pay his day rate he'll be in anything. Howard said he was reading about how the next Machete movie will be in space. He said he loves that. Howard said Eric the Actor has been very busy on Twitter cursing people out. Howard said that he is spending what might be his last week on earth doing that. Howard said he'd think that he'd want to have some fun instead of doing that. Howard took a call from Little Mikey and said he has some of his new songs to play. Howard asked Gary where they were. Gary told him where it was and Howard played some of Mikey's new songs about Robin. Mikey said he's been working on a station playing music and they're changing to a top 40 format. He said that the program manager says he's not ready for that. He asked what his advice for announcing would be. Howard said he knew guys in the business doing top 40 and he had a guy call him to say that their friend was doing top 40. He said this guy Lou had that morning radio voice and he couldn't figure out how he did it. Howard said there are some guys who just talk in their regular voice but there are others who put something on. Howard said he could never figure it out. Howard did an impression of what he thought it sounded like though. Howard said he wouldn't know how to tell him to approach that. Howard said he thinks you have to be brain dead to do that shit. Mikey said they tell him he should be more up beat. Robin wanted to hear it. Mikey did his morning radio voice for her. Howard said he's glad he's not trying to make it in radio. Fred played Taps after Mikey did his thing. Howard did his impression of that voice and was really upbeat. Howard said you can't curse either on that station. Mikey said that his program director told him he was friends with Howard. He said his name is Tom Collins. Howard said he doesn't know the name but he may know him. Mikey said they're going to keep him on the weekends there at the station. He said they sign off when the sun goes down though. He said they're working on getting a license where they can stay on longer. Howard said there's a whole system there where they only broadcast from sunrise to sunset. Robin said she used to work at one of those stations. She said she had to go to the town hall to find out who was arrested and to the hospital to see who was admitted. She said that's how small it was. Howard said they did that for the small towns so you could get the broadcast signal from the big city stations at night. Howard said the whole business is depressing. He told Mikey not to get caught up with the music he's playing. He said that really doesn't matter. He said it's cool that he's on the air and announcing. He said he gets to work the board and all of that. Mikey said he feels he's getting better every week. Howard said Mikey should take vocal lessons. He said he kind of mumbles. He said he doesn't finish his words either. Howard said he needs to get a little confidence going. Howard told Mikey to tell him off. Mikey told Howard ''Don't come in my room, mom!'' Howard said he was a little clearer there. Howard said he's better off than he was. Howard said he could barely get the words out. Howard told him not to feel defeated. He told him to just do his thing. Howard said he was the worst and he went from the worst to first. Howard said people told him he was the loser's loser. Howard said he should have been cleaning the radio station and not on the air. Howard said he kept his giant nose to the grindstone and it worked out for him. He said he always knew in his mind what he wanted to do. Howard said if you work really hard at it he could be making $150-200 a week. Howard said that's considered a success story. Howard said he could be fired at any minute. He said it's a great career to get into. He said you have to be crazy to get into it. He said he always loved radio. He said he thought it could be a sexy medium if you did it correctly. Howard said that someone was trying to prank Michael Savage. He said he was just told his real name is Michael Wiener. Howard asked if the guy is embarrassed to be a Jew. Howard said he should come kiss his master's feet. Howard said everyone in radio knows that he's their master. Howard said he should be thanking him. Howard said you're irrelevant when you can't make a living. Howard said he lost the clip. He said if he's irrelevant in radio then everyone dreams to be as irrelevant as him. Howard said Savage isn't in the national dialog. Howard found the clip after JD told him where it was. Howard played the clip and Savage was taking calls about who the worst people in the country were. The caller threw out Lucas Dell'Abate and Robin Quivers names. Savage said he has no idea who he is. Then the guy threw out a Baba Booey. Savage asked if Howard Stern is still relevant. Howard said the guy is so embarrassed by his own name that he had to change it to Michael Savage. Howard said that's the worst radio name he's ever heard. Michael Savage was saying that no one has ever heard of Howard Stern and he ran out of wig makers. Howard said that makes no sense. He said he's a fucking moron. Howard said that's unbelievably unwitty. Savage was saying no one has ever heard of Howard Stern since he ran out of wig makers. Howard said this guy is unrelatable because of things like this. Howard said when you say Howard Stern hasn't been heard from since he lost his wig maker he's just out of it. Howard said he should come clean about his name Michael Wiener. Howard said he's trying to hide that from everyone. Howard said he's praying to be the cool guy but he's not cool. Howard said the guy has the Jewiest name of Wiener and he's ashamed so he changed it. Howard said the guy just doesn't want you to know who he is. Howard said if you come clean then you can be a great broadcaster. Howard said if you change your name then your insecurities are right there on your sleeve. Howard said he thinks he's superman when he's Michael Savage. Howard played more of the clip and Savage said Stern works for a satellite company that no one listens to. Howard said they have 25 million paying subscribers. Howard said that's not no one. Savage said that Howard Stern was hot in the 80s. Howard said he was hot in the 80s and 90s too. Robin asked when he's going to be hot. Howard asked how old Michael wiener is. Fred said he's 72. Howard said he's never going to be hot. Howard said the guy didn't make his mark when he was in his 20s. Howard said he didn't think to use radio the way he did. Howard said he went away because his wig maker went away. Howard asked what the theory is there. Howard said they seem to be making better and better wigs now. Savage was talking about how he should make balloon animals that are dirty. Howard wondered what this guy is going to do in his retirement. Howard said he has met guys like this who are ashamed of being Jewish. Howard said their names are Jewish and they just make a big change. Howard said Savage is such a douche. He said he should be proud of being Jewish. Howard said that whole strategy is so weak. He said that his whole audience sees right through it. Howard said he has never heard this guy's show before. He said that's the truth. Howard said he calls his show The Savage Nation. He said he likes Wiener Nation better. Robin said that she was watching Chasing Maria and she saw Maria talking about how she used to dream about being on the Howard Stern Show. Robin said they were talking about the old days when they got together for the first time. Robin said it was amazing. Howard said he had to take a break after that. Howard came back and said he's excited that Machete is there. Howard said it's Danny Trejo. Howard said he has to take a look at this guy. Howard said this is crazy. He said he loves Machete. Howard said he has to soak this in. Danny said in 1993 or 94 Howard came to L.A. Howard said they put them on the air out there. Danny said L.A. hasn't been the same since. Howard said he reads about his life and he's an inspiration. Howard said when you grow up the way he did... He said that he grew up in a shit hole. Howard said he really turned his life around. Howard asked if he believes in god. Danny said absolutely. Howard asked if he believes that it was divine intervention. Danny said his parents did the best they could. He said his pops believed that you could kick anything with hard work. Howard when he was a little kid he was a sweet little kid. He asked how anyone could beat a child. Danny said it was a different time. He said in the 40s and 50s you beat your kids. Howard said not everyone did. Danny said he can't put it on his mom and dad. He said he had an uncle who was a dope fiend and a robber. He said he was his mentor. He said he always had a wad of money in his pocket. He said his uncle was 6 years older than him. Howard said his parents saw him falling into a bad crowd. He said his parents would see that and come down and choke him. Danny said that's right. Howard said his dad should have intervened and saw that his uncle was a bad dude and stopped him from hanging out with him. Danny saw him with money and that inspired him. Danny said that his uncle was his dad's youngest brother and he was a great robber. Howard said it's too bad that his uncle ended up getting his degree in prison. Howard said he has met con men who can get a job anywhere. He said that they're fucking geniuses. He said that they can't play it straight though. Howard said they always get outsmarted. Howard said he finds what he did wit his life inspirational. Howard said at the age of 10 Danny hit a girl with a bat accidentally. Danny said they were playing a game where you roll a bat and hit it to grab it. He said he hit the girl with the bat accidentally and they said he did it on purpose. He said the police were coming so he ran. He was in Juvenile Hall so they could scare him. He said that he just started going there. He said it was the scariest place he had ever seen. Howard said if he kept going there he was going to get his ass kicked. Danny said when you get into a fight and bite someone in the neck they'll leave you alone. He said you have to crazy fight. He said the higher up you go in prison the less you'll fight. He said that it's easier to get away with stabbing someone than it is to fight. He said you can sit and fight or just stab then and walk away. Robin asked if he is saying he has stabbed someone. Danny laughed and said ''Uh, no.'' Howard asked if he just gives everyone anything or do you fight back. Danny said that you can pay your way out of things in prison. He said if he's doing life in prison he doesn't care who you are. Howard said he must have been one of the toughest guys in there. Howard said he was able to send home money for his family. Danny said his mom kept an account for him. He said they had a few guys that had a protection ring going so they were making money doing that. He said at one time they had 8 or 9 people they were taking care of. He said they had some gay couples that were married that wanted protection. Howard asked what he had to pay back then. Danny said it was a sliding scale. He said some guys had no money at all. He said they were willing to clean cells or do laundry so they were fine with that. Danny said that they would pay maybe 20 or 30 dollars. He said that's what they would get paid. Howard asked Danny if he could get pussy in prison. Danny said no. He said you could get prison pussy. He said they didn't have female guards when he was there. He said that prison pussy is guys. He said he didn't get any of that but he jerked off a lot. He said they had people who would draw pictures and things like that. Howard asked if that's the hardest part of prison. Danny said it's not. He said the hardest part is not thinking about what's going on outside prison. He said that you can't get institutionalized inside your own head. Howard asked if you get more and more despondent when you think about that. Danny said that you have to sever that whole thing from the streets. He said your whole day attitude can be like set on if you got a letter or not. He said you don't want people to have that power. Howard asked if he asked people not to visit or write. Danny said his cousin has done 34 years. He said he did second degree in 1980. He said he goes to visit him. He said that they're trying to get him out and they're appealing the governor denying his parole. Robin asked how much more he's supposed to do. Danny said California has more people in prison than some countries do. Danny said his cousin is in from 5 to life so it's at their discretion. Howard said Danny is his favorite actor with Machete. Howard said they have to get to his new movie too. That movie is ''Bad Ass'' with Danny Glover. Howard said he's also on Saint George with George Lopez. Howard said he was just up there yesterday recording something for them. Howard said George is a good dude. Robin said she loved Danny on Breaking Bad too. Howard said his head was on that turtle in Breaking Bad. Howard said Danny went into prison and his uncle would drive around with him and figure out how to rob a store. Howard said he was so brilliant that he'd go in and set off an alarm just to see how they reacted. Danny said he had a friend who did the same thing. He said his name was Eddie Munker. He said that he wrote some books and did a movie. Howard said Danny served his time and he didn't care about being caught anymore. He joined gangs and he was such a bad ass that he got thrown out of a gang. He was too much for the gang. Danny said they were a car club and everyone in the gang had been thrown out of some neighborhood. Howard said this is the highlight of his life. Howard said just imagine that you're so bad in a gang that you're kicked out. Danny said there are only 3 of you and you're drunk and decide to do something that's not the brightest. Howard said he would go into a party and try to beat the shit out of everyone. Danny said that's it. Danny said he's not sure why he did that. He just laughed. Howard said Danny's parents were the worst. Danny stopped him and told him that his mom was the light of his life. He said that she never gave up on him. He said that she stayed in touch with him when he was in prison. He said his dad wanted him to graduate high school so he could go to work with him doing construction. He said that college wasn't even in their lives. Howard said at the same point someone who beats you into submission isn't good for you. Howard said Danny has said that he wasn't happy, ever, when he was a child. Danny said he was happy when he was with his uncle or when he was fighting with guys. He said his happiness was different than other people's is. Howard said Danny stopped listening to his parents when he was only 13. He said he never said that to his dad though. He had just stopped listening to his dad. Howard said Danny would go into a party and just pick a fight. Howard asked how many guys he'd fight with. Danny said he'd just start fighting. Danny said if there are 10 or 11 people you have an advantage because they're all trying to get to you at once. He said someone is going to get hurt. Howard said he had an advantage because they'd get in each other's way. Danny said that's it. Danny said his jaw is fractured and he had to go to the doctor. Howard said that's one of the most painful things ever. Danny laughed and said he's on Ibuprofin. Howard asked what happened to break it. Danny said he fell. He said there was a dresser that was knocked down and he fell. He said they x-rayed it and they said it's fractured but not displaced. Howard said it's unbelievable how tough he is. Howard said it's a miracle that Danny is alive. Howard said they used to have car to car shoot outs. Danny said that they did. He said the best hand gun in the world is a 38 special. He said that's what they were using back then. Howard said now they use automatic weapons. Danny said things are different now. Howard said Danny got into heroin dealing with his uncle. Howard said he used to carry balloons in his mouth for his uncle. Danny said his uncle would walk ahead of him in the park and he'd carry the balloons in his mouth. He said his uncle would get the money and then he'd give the heroin. He said that they were shooting a lot of their profits though. Howard asked if he was a fiend. Danny said the worst heroin dealer in the world is a drug addict. Howard said Danny was a boxer in prison. Danny said that he was his dad's sparring partner or punching bag depending on how you look at it. Howard said he was a lightweight and welterweight champ in prison. Danny said that Mexicans don't understand what an exhibition is. He said that they bet money on you not knowing what it is. He said that he has to tell the guy to either go for it or he has to surprise him. Howard said he could have been heavyweight champion of the world. Danny said he wanted to be the welterweight champ of San Quentin. He said that he'd rather shoot for the moon and miss than shoot for the gutter and hit. Howard asked about his prison time after a drug arrest. Danny said he was not an honorable drug addict. He said he switched out heroin for sugar. Howard asked how they nailed him for the heroin if he had sugar. Danny said that they said he was defrauding the government. He said he was supposed to do 6-10 and he did 5 years. Howard asked about the tattoos he has and what's on his cheat. Danny said he has a Mexican lady with a sombrero on his chest. He said he knew this guy Harry the Jew since he was a kid. He said that the guy did the outline of the tattoo in prison and Harry told him not to let anyone touch it when he got transferred. He said that Harry ended up getting transferred too. He said that he showed up and did more of the tattoo. He said that Harry asked him to wait for him to finish it somewhere else. He said he waited for him there. Danny said Harry hated this tattoo. He said he became a well known tattoo artist and he always hated the on he did on his chest because it was his first. He said he's know Harry since he was 14 years old. Howard said he must have been the only Jew in his neighborhood. Danny said there were a few dropouts in there. Howard asked if he ever spent time in solitary. Danny said he did. He said that he went in from May to August of 1968. Howard asked how many years of his life he spent in prison. Danny said a total of about 10. He said the only regrets he's had are hurting people. He said he had to do what he had to do. He said whatever made him what he is today is what made him. He said that's fine. Howard asked what solitary means. Danny said you have to go crazy to keep from going crazy. He said he can make himself crazy to keep Howard from making him crazy. Danny said what you do is like what he did. Danny said he remembered the Wizard of Oz and that was his favorite movie. He said he would reenact the whole thing in prison. He said he would do the scene where the witch tells Dorothy to give her the shoes. Danny said when a guard would walk by he would be singing ''We are the lollipop kids...'' Howard said that's wild that he remembered that in prison. Danny said he also remembered the Hunchback of Notre Damme. Howard asked if he has ever been psycho analyzed. Danny said he has. He said he saw a doctor so many times that he had a whole form to fill out and if he saw one thing checked off he would call him in. Danny said that the guy told him that there was no psychiatrist who could help him unless he got off drugs. Danny said it was easier to get off drugs when you're in solitary. Danny said there was a riot on Cinco de Mayo. He told Howard why it happened. He said they ended up getting into a fight and that got him thrown into solitary. He said that this was just a bunch of Mexicans fighting and it wasn't whites versus the Mexicans like it usually was. Danny said he once threw a rock at a group. He said the rock allegedly hit a guard in the head. Howard asked if his parents ever visited him in prison. Danny said they did not. He said his mother wrote to him though. Danny said this was his step mom actually. He said his dad took him when he was 3 and he didn't see his real mom that much. He said he met his real mom in 1965 in the county jail. Danny said he was about 19 around that time. He said she came to visit him and his mom saw it in the paper that he had been arrested. He said she was trying to get in touch with him but his dad kept her from seeing him. Howard said this is some story. He said this should be the next Machete. Danny said when he threw that rock that's a gas chamber offense. He said there were three of them who had these offenses. He said that he made a deal with god to let him die with dignity. Danny said he remembers seeing a movie where a guy died in the gas chamber and he went out screaming crying. He said he didn't want to do that. Danny said he was afraid if dying poorly but not of dying. Danny said dying would have been a way out for him. Howard said he is one tough mother fucker. Danny said he made this deal with god to do that. He said he thought it was just for a couple of years. He said that the officer said that the rock was thrown by ''one of the three guys'' so the D.A. rejected the case. Danny said he came back out and thought that he made this deal and he had to uphold it. Howard gave Danny a plug for this movie ''Bad Ass 2: Badasses'' that's out now on DVD and Blu-Ray. He said they'll talk more about that later. Danny told Howard about a guy getting stabbed and how he was near there when it was happening. He said he had to get away from that and got back to his cell. He said he got into his cell and he still had the dominoes from the game they were playing. He said he had just seen a guy get stabbed and he kept the dominoes. Danny said he wondered what he was becoming. He said that he showed the guys his dominoes and some guys told him he was fucked up for holding on to them. Howard said he's so hardened that he didn't care the guy was getting stabbed and held on to his dominoes. Howard asked why the had to kill the guy on top of the game. Danny said that's it. He wondered the same thing. Howard said he was smart and buried $15,000 in his mom's back yard. Danny said he hid it from the feds. He said he shouldn't have said that though. Danny said they buried some guns back there too. He said he had a hand grenade too. Danny said his mom was telling him about how his dad was going to put in sprinklers in the yard and he told her not to let them do that in the back yard. Howard said he had 15 grand in the yard when he got out of prison. Danny said he had more money from the protection racket. Howard asked if he held up a store with a grenade. Danny said he did. He said they listen to you when you have a grenade. He said you don't have to do much. Danny said he had a sawed off shotgun that worked very well too. He said that you don't have to worry about someone not cooperating with you when you're holding that gun. Howard said Danny's uncle ended up dying. Danny said he overdosed and died. Danny said all of the guys he's mentioned today are dead now. He said they all died in robberies and things like that. Howard asked if it haunts Danny and he has nightmares. Danny said he really doesn't. He said he thinks he's moved past that. Howard said Danny got out of prison and he made this pact with God. Danny said he was working with a guy who had a wrecking yard. He said that he was working with that guy and another guy. He said they were best friends and this one guy was his sponsor. He said he was at the wrecking yard and out of prison by about 4 months. He said then his uncle got out. He said he was all straight going to AA and NA meetings. Danny said he had an apartment finally. He said his uncle pulled up in a new Lincoln just days after getting out of prison. He said he showed up in new pants and shoes and a tailored shirt. Danny said his uncle asked him what he was doing working there. Danny said he looked like a mess from the wrecking yard. Danny said his uncle put two quarter ounces of heroin on the desk with $1000. He said that he told him he couldn't do this shit anymore. Danny told his uncle that he just couldn't do it. He said he took the heroin to the back and thought about it. He said Frank Russo came back and told him to just wait. Howard said Uncle Gilbert was like the devil. Danny said he did what he knew. He's the one who died of a drug overdose. Howard said he was representing Satan in his life. Danny said for the life that he lived he was perfect. Howard said if he was still alive he'd be up his ass. Danny said his uncle saw him. He said he ran a rehab for a while. He said that his uncle worked there for a while until he got back on the drugs. He said that's how strong that addiction can be. Howard said Danny wanted to get into professional fighting but they didn't let him in because he was a criminal. Danny said he was a part of one of the first MMA fights. Howard said Danny got involved in AA and NA. Danny said he was sober and clean from 1968 to 1985. He was going to meetings and he was a drug counselor. He said he was working with dope fiends and all of that. Then in 1985 he got a call from a kid who he was sponsoring. He said he asked him for support. Danny said he thought he worked in a warehouse. He said he went down there and it turns out it was the movie set of a movie he was working on. Danny said that he walked onto the set of the movie and he thought it was the cutest thing ever. He said this guy asked him if he wanted to be in the movie. He said they asked if he wanted to be an extra and act like a convict. Danny said he said he'd give it a shot. He said he took off his shirt to change shirts and the guy saw his tattoo. He said that this guy knew him from prison and came over to talk to him. He said he was the writer guy. He said this guy Eddie Bunker used to plan robberies with his uncle. Danny said that he would sell robberies to people and his uncle bought one from him. Danny said you can see a scene like that in the movie ''Straight Time'' with Dustin Hoffman. Danny said that they used to rob poker games. He said that they could get 50 grand out of doing something like that. Danny said that Eddie asked him if he was still boxing. He said they needed someone to train one of the actors to box. He asked what it pays and they said $320 a day. He said Eddie told him that the guy was kind of high strung and it turned out to be Eric Roberts. He said he started training him for the boxing. He said Eric would do whatever he told him to do. He said this guy wanted him to be in the movie and fight with Eric. He said they had picked someone else to be in the movie but they took him instead. Howard said that's because he has that look. He said the guy was Russian and he kissed him on both cheeks. He said that he ended up asking for more money if he had to kiss the guy like that. He didn't know that it was just because he was Russian and that's what they do. Howard asked Danny about Robert Rodriguez putting him in Machete. Danny said Robert started talking to him about that about 20 years ago. He said they were in Desperado together and they talked about it way back then. Howard asked if he's nervous on set at all. Danny said it's all fun. He said he's not nervous, he's excited. Howard said it's great that he has this movie career going when so many other people have been working their whole life to be in movies. Howard said he was in prison while these guys were acting. Danny said he had a lot of great training in prison. He said you do a lot of acting in there. Howard asked Danny about his wife and kids. Danny said that's not his wife. He said that's the mother of his kids. Howard asked if he would ever marry the woman. Danny said that his kids are like 23 now so no. Howard said he thinks he could be a good dad because his dad was so shitty to him. Howard said Danny Glover is one of the greatest actors of all time and Danny is in this ''Bad Ass'' movie with him. Danny said that he gets excited watching him act. He said that they had a good time doing that movie. Howard asked if ever goes to some famous guy's house and thinks about robbing it. Danny said that you automatically think about that stuff. Howard said that's some fucking story he has. Howard asked if he stated smoking pot at the age of 8. Danny said that he did. He said his uncle got him started. Howard asked if someone did that to his kids would he get upset. Danny said it takes a lot to disrespect him. Danny said he has a 1936 Dodge Touring Sedan that he wouldn't sell for anything. He said he keeps his life pretty simple. He said he has a big house though. He said that he has a guy named Max Martinez living with him. He said he has Mario Martino living there too. Howard asked where he lives and if it's a white neighborhood. Danny said that it's Mission Hills and it's about 5 miles from the place he grew up. He said his daughter has the house that he grew up in. Howard asked if he hangs out with George Lopez and Santana a lot. Danny said he hangs with George a lot but not Santana. Howard asked if he has a girlfriend. Danny said he doesn't. Danny said he's with his kid's mom. Howard asked if he has banged everything on the planet. Danny said he has tried it all. Howard asked if he has a big cock. Danny laughed. He said it's the size of a forearm. He said Machete has a Machete. Danny said there's a scene in the movie where a girl asks if that's a machete in his pocket. Howard said Danny is a real man. Danny said he's a mama's boy. He said his step mom died when he was in London doing the Muppets. He said that this guy who is his bodyguard came into his room and had to break in to let him know his mom passed away. He said he was hugging the guy on the bed in the room. He said the bellman came in and he said he thought the bellman thought they were going to kiss. Danny said his bodyguard stayed with him the night. He said that he made arrangements to go home and he called his Mary to let him know he was coming home. He said she told him not to come home. Danny said he wanted to take care of everything. He said she told him to stay. Danny said he just shut down. He said he was really out of it. Danny said that they thought he had no emotion at all. He said his mom must have gotten pissed in heaven. He said that she sent Kermit to him and when he came in and said he was sorry about his mom he started balling. Howard asked if there is a better feeling than beating the shit out of someone. Danny said it's a power and it's not great. Howard asked if he has ever knocked someone out. Danny said he has. He said the rush you get is from adrenaline. Howard gave Danny some plugs for ''Bad Ass 2: Badasses'' and said it was great meeting him. He said he loves the Machete movies. Danny said he appreciates that. Howard asked if they have started shooting the Machete in space movie. Danny said not yet. He said he has to tell Robert they want to see it. He said they shoot those things in like 29 days. He said that Mel Gibson takes people into space and that's who he'll be fighting. Howard asked if Danny thinks that Steven Seagal can really fight. Danny said he can. He said the one who can really fight is Chuck Norris. Howard gave Danny some more plugs and wrapped up with him. Danny said that he has loved Howard since 1993 or so. Howard said he loves him too. He thanked him for coming in. They went to break a short time later. Howard came back and said that Rob Lowe is there. Howard said he hasn't seen him in years. Howard said he still looks the same. Howard said Rob has a book out called ''Love Life'' and they'll talk about that soon. Howard said Rob recently said that good looking people get discriminated against. Howard said he gets what he's saying. Howard said some people are so good looking that they don't get considered for certain roles. Rob said he was referring to that exactly. Rob said he has been told no doctor looks like him. He said he has been told that he can play an arrogant asshole though. Howard said he knows heads of companies who have said that they don't want someone so good looking around there. Howard said he may have said that himself. Rob looked around at the staff to make sure he was telling the truth. Rob said it's been so long since they've been face to face. He said on Parks and Recreation Amy Poehler and Adam Scott are always talking about the show. He said he had to do the show so they'd be talking about him over there. Howard said that he loves Danny Trejo and Rob's life is just as interesting. Howard said he's going back to his childhood and looking at how crazy it was. Howard said he grew up with Charlie Sheen, Robert Downey Jr. and others. Rob said it was Sean Penn, Chris Penn, Holly Robinson Peet and more. Rob said it was a strange time. Howard asked about growing up with Charlie Sheen and how he wasn't a wealthy kid himself. Rob said that Malibu was just regular people when he was growing up. He said that they might get someone famous but they'd be a whacked out rock star who would be wandering the highway. Howard asked if it was crazy being around Charlie Sheen. Rob said that Charlie got a BMW for his birthday and he was blown away by that. Howard asked if he was jealous of that. Rob said it just made him want to work harder. Howard asked why Charlie went to school with a bullet proof vest. Rob said you'd have to ask Charlie about that. He said he remembers it and wrote about it in his book. He said Charlie liked the vest and Polo cologne. He said that he thought it was awesome. Howard asked if he thought it was the greatest kid ever. Rob said he did. Howard said he thinks that Charlie kind of killed his greatness with his problems. Rob said that he and Charlie could spar over their sobriety. He said he's been sober for 20 years and Charlie just doesn't believe in that. Howard said Rob was on the road to ruin. Rob said he was on the slow track to ruin which is worse than the fast track. Rob said he admires a guy who can live the life he wants to. Howard asked if he really does. Rob said that he thinks it's great that you can hop on a Gulfstream and just go do what he wants to. Howard said it seems like a life out of control. Rob said that's a different life than he could lead. Howard asked Rob how bad he was when he was at his worst. Rob said Monday night football was his downfall. He said he was always very social and fun but he never knew when to stop. Howard asked if Rob knew that Sean Penn wanted to be an actor. Rob said he had been doing theater when he was a kid in 1976. He said no one there in Malibu was an actor. He said he was acting at the age of 8 though. Howard said he had a career going until he graduated high school. Rob said he was a kid on a sitcom at 15 on ABC. Howard said he must have been a big deal in school. Rob said his life at school changed over night. He said that part of the industry was different back then. He said it was strange for a kid to be on TV. Howard said he thins he lost his virginity at 14. Rob said he did. Howard said he would have loved to have lost it at that age. Rob said it was a birthday present. He said this girl invited him over for a home cooked meal. He said she was 18 years old. Howard said that's where it's good to be good looking. Howard said this girl is 18 and this girl cooks him a meal. Howard asked if she was nude. Rob said it was almost as subtle as that when she handed him a condom as a gift. Rob said he had some experimenting before that but then he knew he had to throw down. Howard asked if he regrets that whole thing. Rob said he does wonder what his whole perspective would have been if it had been his doing. Howard asked if he is angry at all. Rob said he is not. He said he wasn't planning on this but he had to get it together and get up to speed. Howard said he remembers Rob being 15 and being on TV. He said then his agent sets him up on a date with Sarah Jessica Parker. Rob said she was his age and she was playing Annie on Broadway. He said it was a rarity to be that young and doing what they were doing. Howard asked if he was pulling down some good money. Rob said he was for a 15 year old. Howard asked if his parents pushed him into this. Rob said his mother was not a stage manager. He said she supported him in the most appropriate way. He said she didn't push him though. He said his dad was in Ohio and he spent his summers with him. He said that it was a sad situation. He said divorce is not a good thing. He said his mother remarried and he liked the guy she married. Rob said when he became a father he can't imagine not being around them. Howard asked Rob if he thinks he was a father who didn't know how to be around his kids since he didn't have his father around. Rob said he was so driven and on his own that he had to learn it all on his own. Howard asked if his parents suffer from being good looking. Rob said his dad suffers a lot. Howard said he's amazed by guys with charmed lives like Rob. Howard said he knew John F. Kennedy Jr. Rob said he was a great guy. He said that he was very charismatic. Robin said they were both afflicted with that condition of being good looking. Howard said he can't imagine what it was like for Rob and JFK Jr. walking around single. Rob said he wrote a story about that. He said that he went up to John one night and asked what they were going to do that night. He said John wanted to go find some girls. He said he told him that he's JFK Jr. and the girls would just come to him. Howard asked where Rob was when he found out that Kennedy had died. Rob said he had just gotten a pilot and John put him on the cover of George magazine. He said it was the last cover he made before he died. He said that was the last he saw of him. He said that it was a favor to him and a vote of confidence for th TV show he was doing. Howard said Rob was supposed to be the star of the show that he was talking about. He said they had negotiated a salary for him and it was cut so he could just be part of it. Howard said that he figured his career would be back on track if he was in The West Wing. Then Martin Sheen was cast and he was kind of pushed to the side. Rob said he was supposed to be in the show in the background. He said he wasn't supposed to be front and center but he was so amazing that they put him right in the front. Howard said when it came to the second season they gave everyone a raise but Rob. Rob said he stayed on for another 4 years. He said he decided that he was worth at least what everyone else was worth so he parted ways with them. He said he wasn't bitter though. Rob was joking about his affliction of being so good looking. He said that there are only 30 people in the whole world with this affliction. Howard said he really is a very good looking man. He asked if he worries about his looks. Rob said no. Howard asked if he would get Botox or anything like that. Rob said the first thing he'll do is get a boob job. Howard asked if he works out to stay good looking. Rob said he's been trying to be the best he can be since he was 8 years old. Howard said he doesn't want to hurt himself though. He said he must worry about getting caught up in that looks thing. He said he isn't allowed to have an off day. Rob said he likes that. He said he's going to use that for sympathy at home. Howard said Rob knew Charlie Sheen in the neighborhood. Howard said Martin Sheen was whacked out too. Howard said he met him on Halloween one night. Rob said Halloween in his neighborhood was Lord of the Flies on meth. He said that guys would light car tires on fire and send them down a hill. He said that he had never met Martin Sheen before. He said he would walk around with a baseball bat and fatigues. He said that's how he kept the peace. Howard said he read that he jumped out from behind a bush and scared the kids. Rob said that's what he did and it just kept the peace. Howard said Rob was going out with Sarah Jessica Parker. Rob said he brought a date with him to the date. He said he was a spastic so he didn't know. Rob said that Sarah was a great singer and a great performer. Howard said he has had such a charmed life. Howard said he heard he went to hang out with Liza Minelli in her room. Rob said that he followed her luggage and just knocked on her door. He said he asked to see her and they let him in. He said he was maybe 11 years old at the time. He said she had a few and she got a knock on her door. Rob said Jack Haley Jr. answered the door and Liza was on the couch sprawled out. Howard said that story would define his whole life. Howard asked what they talked about. Rob said he doesn't remember much of it. He said it was just the three of them in the room. Howard asked Rob about this TV show he did at 15. Rob said it was a family that lived with another family. He said the ratings were horrible so they wanted to rejitter it. He said they changed one family to a black family without explaining it to the audience. He said what was fun was that the new girl on the show was Janet Jackson. He said she had such a miserable experience on the show. Howard asked what that is. Rob said that it's when your creative vision isn't filled. He said there was infighting and things like that there. Rob said he was out of show business after that. He said he was waiting tables and going to school. Howard asked if he was depressed from that. Howard said Rob's new book is out now. It's called ''Love Life''. Rob said he thinks Howard would love his Playboy mansion story. Howard didn't go for it. He asked if Rob's wife is upset about the sex stories he tells in the book. Rob said she doesn't like it. He said she's with him today and on the way over she was saying that what she likes about the book is how he told the stories. He said that he talks about how he was feeling and what it meant to him. Howard said that he's amazed when a guy like him makes a connection with a woman like he did with his wife. He said that couldn't have been easy. Rob said he doesn't know about that. Howard asked if she thought she was going to tame him. Rob said she was the one who told him to change and then they'd talk. Howard asked if she was afraid to go out with him. Rob said he had to get sober or she never would have gone out with him. Howard asked about meeting her and if he knew she was the one. Rob said that all the girl has to do is ask what the plan is or she'll move on. He said that he guy won't want to lose it so they'll marry them. Howard asked Rob about getting sober and how that worked. Rob said he had a few guys who helped him early on. He said that he had a great group in L.A. who helped. He said he never thought he'd have fun again. He said he thought he'd be a boring, lame guy. Howard asked if he ever fell off the wagon. Rob said he never did. He said that he had a hard time on New Year's Eve but that was about it. Howard asked Rob about writing this book. Rob said that he wrote about going to the Playboy Mansion at 19 years old. He said that's something not everyone can experience. Howard asked why he didn't bang anyone at the mansion. Rob said he didn't say he never did. Howard said this is the one time he didn't. Rob said he was meant to meet a girl in the grotto. He said that back then it was great and not like it is today. He said he waited out there for the girl and she didn't show up. Rob said he was waiting for her naked. He said through the mist he made out a naked girl. He said this girl was prettier. He said he was talking to her and having a conversation with her. He said sometimes she'd make a noise like something was happening to her. He said he just played it off. Rob said he started looking around if there was an EMT nearby. He said they talked for a long time and then he saw a big ebony hand around her waist. He said that she was getting it on and he was behind her the whole time. He said the guy didn't even care. He said the guy looked at him and gave him the Wassup look. Howard said Rob also didn't bang Madonna and he finds that interesting. Rob said he loves quotable people. He said that he wrote about that because what she said was so interesting to him. He said she told him that she wasn't going to let success fuck up her fun. Howard asked why he didn't have sex with her. Rob said he doesn't remember much of what went on back then. He said Madonna may not remember it either. Rob said the teenager he was, was a nerdy actor. He said people probably thought he was gay. He said the cool chicks thought he was a dweeb. He said that's his inner teenager. Rob said he doesn't feel like that guy. He said he's the guy who couldn't sit in the cool part of the bus in high school. Howard gave Rob a plug for his book and said he'll be signing copies at the Barnes and Nobel on 5th ave today. Howard asked about Rob getting the job in The Outsiders. rob said that he was told to wait from 15 until he was 18 because that's when they hire kids to work as younger kids. Howard said he went in on the audition for Francis Ford Coppola. He said Tom Cruise, Mickey Rourke, Scott Baio and others were there for the audition too. Rob said they were all there and they were there for the audition and saw the auditions. He said Francis had just bought the studio and they were on an open sound stage. Howard asked if he was nervous. Rob said he saw everyone there and he was so nervous. Howard asked if they would ridicule people. Rob said it was deadly silent if someone didn't do well. Rob ended up getting the movie. Rob said he did. Howard said that had to be a big boost to him. Rob said he survived the competition and he was going to be in this movie. He said that was the shocking thing. Rob said Tom Cruise was auditioning for his role of Soda Pop. He said Tom stopped himself and said that this wasn't working for him. He said that speaks to who he is. He said that guy is killer. He said that he has a sense of who he is and he's driven. He said he doesn't suffer those insecure foibles. Rob said he thinks the guy is amazing. Rob said he ran into Ralph Macchio there at Sirius. He said he loves to talk to those guys. He said he thinks Ralph is a really happy guy and he thinks he's lucky with his life. Howard said he didn't get that second wind that Rob did though. Rob said that's fine because he's the most happy and well adjusted guy. Howard said Rob got cut out of The Outsiders. Rob said they did and he still hasn't recovered from that. that led to Rob talking about how Matt Dillon is the master of closing with a girl. He said he's like his Obi Wan Kenobi of pussy. Howard asked Rob about doing the TV show with Jewel where he was supposed to have a passionate kiss. Howard said he knows Jewel now. He asked why she didn't kiss him. Rob said he wasn't sure what was going on. He said that she was supposed to do it but her boyfriend at the time was there so maybe that had something to do with it. Howard asked Rob about auditioning for the Footloose movie. Rob said he blew out his knee auditioning. He said he read the script and thought he had to have the role. Howard asked how he prepared for dancing. Rob said he took lessons for a month before the audition. Rob said he ended with a big running slide on his knees. He said they had a mass audition and there were like 10 guys doing it at the same time. Robin sad they do that with dancers. Howard said as a non actor he's thinking about going in with all these guys and how frightening it must be. Gary came in and said that Rob has to go. Howard said he didn't even get to the story about Roman Polanski loading up a room with girls. Rob said that's why he had to write two books. Howard asked how long it took to write this book. Rob said he wrote while working on a couple of TV shows and other things. Rob said he wrote about the things that stayed with him and that's why they're in the book. Howard said it has to be difficult to remember with the life he's had. Rob said there are things you remember no matter what. Howard asked about the Polanski story. Rob said he was going to audition for a movie called Pirates. He said the guy who took his spot in the movie looked just like him. He said he was a French guy. Howard said Polanski had a room full of 15 girls and he told Rob to take his pick. Rob said he was 18 years old and he was Roman. He said he's interesting. He said there were 20 amazing models in the room. He said he didn't know how to close and he was talking to one and then another. He said he saw Roman getting agitated. He said Roman told him to make up his mind or he'd end up jerking off. Rob said that was the best advice he ever got. Howard said Rob was also on a plane that the hijackers did a test run on. Rob said that he was coming out of Washington DC. Howard said he has to come back and talk about that and other things. Robin said she liked him in the Liberace movie. She said that was the best. Howard said that was inspired. He said he played the surgeon. Gary said that they are freaking out back there. Howard wrapped up with Rob and let him go. They went to break after that. Howard read some email after that. He said that someone said he should come out dressed as Hannibal Lecher on AGT so he doesn't have to talk to the other judges. Howard said he actually likes talking to them. Howard read another email from someone who had some suggestions for replacing David Letterman. He had a bunch of names including Iron Man. That led to Howard saying that Jon Favreau could direct. Howard said Jon has a new movie out called Chef. He said he figured he'd give him a plug since he was so good to him. Howard read an email asking how he'd feel with Nick Cannon being the replacement. Howard said he'd be fine. Howard read an email about how he should be done with Hanzi on the show since he doesn't add anything to it anymore. Howard said that he got some mail about Jeff Van Gundy and what he was saying about him yesterday. Howard said he got a lot of hateful emails about that. He said that the guy is beloved by the faithful Knick fans. Someone said that he shouldn't have gone off on him as much as he did over such a passing statement. Howard said he gets passionate when someone insults him. Howard played a clip of some announcers talking about a game and one of the guys asking them not to say anything about the celebrities there. Howard said they should keep that in mind. Howard said that someone told him to keep going to therapy after that. Howard said he brought that up at therapy. He said you think he was going off there. Howard read a few more comments from the fans of Van Gundy. Howard said someone said that he does know about being number one but Howard said he really doesn't. Howard got in a plug for the Billy Joel Town Hall he'll be hosting on April 28th. Howard said they're going to have a party. Howard said they'll have it on Howard 100, 101 and on the Billy Joel channel. Howard said they're going to have some famous singers come in and cover some Billy Joel songs. Howard said it should be a lot of fun. Howard got in some plugs for the shows they have on Howard 101 today. Howard said they had Iron Sheik on Leiberman Live last night. Howard played a clip of Jon Leiberman asking Sheik about Oscar Pistorius and Sheik went off on the guy. Howard said they asked him some questions and Sheik had no idea what they were talking about. Howard said they got dead silence from him. Howard played another clip where Sheik said ''I don't know'' when he was asked if they will ever find the missing Malaysian airline. Leiberman asked Sheik about Russia and the Ukraine and Sheik didn't have an answer for him. Howard said that's some show. He said they have to limit it to 15 minutes or your head would explode. Howard picked up on Hanzi saying he didn't have time to talk to him today. He said he'll get him some other time. Hanzi was sleeping so Howard hung up. Howard took a call from Tommy in Malden who said that Ellen Degeneres was kissing Rob on her show. Howard said the guy is good looking that she thought she could be with him. Tommy said the guy is so good looking but he's got to be pushing 60. Robin said she thinks he's in his 40s. Tommy said he's got to be in his 50s. Howard said he's exactly 50. Howard took a call from Balls who said Danny Trejo was great and an inspiration. He said Rob Lowe was good too. He said he was in a show called The Specials which they should check out. Howard thanked him for the call and had Robin start her news. Robin said Howard was a fan of the Archie comics. Howard said he wasn't a big fan but he can name the characters. Howard rattled them off for Robin. Robin said that they are killing off Archie. She said that the high school kids will continue but they're going to make Archie old and kill him off. Robin said that Sean Penn's daughter is just about nude in the paper today. Howard said she's naked with just a pocketbook covering her vagina. Howard said that's Dylan Penn. Howard said she looks good. Robin said she posed for an erotic photography magazine. Robin read a story about some family that's suing an old age home for having a male stripper there. Robin said that the women hired the stripper though. She said it's not the nursing home's fault. Howard did a live commercial and then went to break. After the break Howard said he saw that the Ultimate Warrior died. Howard said he was at some big WWE thing and he just dropped dead. Howard said JD is freaking out about that. Howard said JD said that he left a huge impression on him as a kid. Howard asked JD if he wanted to come in and say something about him. Robin said she wants to know what impressed him. JD came in and said he was a great wrestler. He said his character was great. He said he'd come into the ring and shake the ropes. He said Hulk Hogan was great too. Howard said you'd think being a wrestling fan would get him girls. JD said he was very entertaining. He said he was probably the best that ever existed. Howard said he sounds like the Ultimate Loser when he talks about wrestling. Howard said he doesn't know many people who are into professional wrestling. JD said he wanted to wrestle and his name would have been Strong Man. Fred was playing some Danny Trejo laughs during that discussion. Howard said JD picks names that are the complete opposite of what he is. Da Bad Ass and Strong Man. Howard said he should have been the Ultimate Mumbler or Inarticulate Man. Howard took a call from a woman who wasn't getting to the point of her call so he hung up on her. Howard said the call was dragging. Robin said it went nowhere. Robin wondered why a person would call with nothing to say. Howard took another call from a guy who said he enjoyed that Danny Trejo interview. He said that he thinks Howard enjoyed it even more. Howard said he loves Machete. He said he loved the name of the movie and then he saw it. He said it's like James Bond and he's killing everyone and the women are all in love with him. He said it's so absurd that it's great. Howard said Robert Rodriguez is brilliant. He said he went and created this character who is a Mexican bad ass. He said it's just inspired and he loves the guy. Howard said Danny has a great story too with his rags to riches story. Robin said she thinks Howard would really like the Dave Clark Five documentary. She said that she caught it and it was really good. Robin said they had an incredible urn of hits and then they disbanded. Howard said they came right after the Beatles and there was always one kid who didn't like the Beatles but he liked the Dave Clark Five. Robin said that they have Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder talking about how brilliant the band was. Robin said the only one who comes off kind of wacky was Gene Simmons who was in full make up talking about how they were inspired by the band. Robin said one of the things that was incredible was a musical that Dave Clark wrote called Time. Robin said he worked with Freddy Mercury and you see him talking about working with Dave on the songs. Howard said he would like to see Dave Clark Five Vs. Machete. Robin said there's a story in the paper about a North Korean guy being executed by a flame thrower. Howard did a live commercial after that. Robin read a story about the Mickey Rooney estate fighting over his body. Robin said his estate has gone down to $18,000 though so there isn't much to fight over. Robin said he had just 18 grand. Howard said that's the way to go. Robin said his sole heir was a step son. Robin said he disinherited all of his children. Howard said he'd love to have Mickey's head right there in the studio. He said he could dress him up like Andy Hardy. Howard said he could put Gary's talk box in his head so it looks like Gary is talking out his head. Howard said he had a human skull on his desk for a while but he couldn't stand it anymore. He said that guy lived and he had a family. Howard said he had to get rid of it. Howard said they have a new super buzzer on AGT this season. He said if you hit it you can save someone. He said if the judges vote someone out you can save the person. Howard said that the buzzer is crazy. He said it's more than the regular buzzer. Robin asked how it works. Howard said if you want to save an act that two judges have voted no to, you hit the buzzer. Howard said you can only use it once. Howard said he hasn't used it and neither has Heidi or Mel B. Howard said he's going to L.A. for 6 or 7 days of taping and he may use it out there. He said he gets very passionate about the show. He said he likes arguing with Howie. He said it's different with a girl though. He said he goes home sometimes and wonders if he just got into an argument over a juggler. Howard said that is the greatest show ever. He said a couple came out and threw knives at each other. He said he told them that it wasn't dangerous enough. Howard took a call from a guy whose phone cut out when he was about to speak. Robin got back to her news and read about Oscar Pistorius still being on the stand. Howard said Beth watches the trial on her computer every day. Howard said it was about 4:30 in the morning and she was talking about how excited she was to watch. Howard said that he told her that he should admit what he did and just go to jail. Howard played some audio of Pistorius crying as he was talking about opening the door and seeing Reeva there. Robin said now the prosecution is questioning him. Howard said that should be good. He said he has some questions he'd ask the guy. Robin said she'd like to know why he was knocking down the door with a cricket bat if he thought someone was robbing him. Howard took a call from a guy who asked if you can change a name when you adopt a dog. Howard said you can if you don't like the name. Robin said that she wasn't allowed to change Leroy Brown's name. Howard said that's a great name. Howard told the caller he should call his dog Machete. The caller said he'll run that by his fiancee and see if that will fly. The caller asked if he's familiar with a show on the History Channel called Cryptid: The Swamp Beast. Howard hadn't but the guy said he plays a part in the show. He told Howard to check it out on the History Channel web site. The guy said that it's a scripted show. Howard told him to feel free to make that dog feel his own by renaming it. Robin read a story about the missing Malaysian airlines and how they think they've heard more signals from the black box. Robin said they're in the same area that they were picked up before. Robin had some audio of an official talking about the search. Robin said they're still looking for some debris. Robin said the batteries may be going dead and the pings are not as powerful as they were. Robin read about a shooting at Camp Lejeune. Robin had some audio of an official talking about how the situation is under control. Robin said that they say a guard killed another guard there on the base. Robin read a story about a guy who spent 25 years in jail for a crime he didn't commit. Robin said he's 54 years old now. Robin said he didn't commit the crime and he stuck to that story. Robin said he claimed he was at Disney World at the time of the shooting. Robin said he was convicted because a witness claimed they saw him. Robin said the witness recanted but they left him locked up. Robin said they eventually found the receipt for the room showing that he was in Disney. Howard said that's the worst nightmare. He did a live commercial read after that. Robin read a story about the guy from Chik-Fil-A who came out against gays is now saying that they have more restaurants opening that are open to anyone. Robin said that he must have realized he should stay out of politics. Howard said these guys just don't get it. He said they start mouthing off and they're dummies. Robin read about Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin going to a ceremony in the Bahamas. Robin said they say that they had a ceremony where they had their ''breakup moon.'' Howard said that's such happy shit he can't go there. Robin said they say that Game of Thrones will have two more seasons. Robin said that she watched the series finale of Being Human and she didn't know it was the last show. She said the show has been canceled. Robin had some audio of a new song from Jennifer Lopez and Pitbull. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show after that. They were done around 10:10am. Gary said he doesn't understand wrestling at all. He said from the moment he heard about it he thought it was fake and stupid. He said he had a kid in his class who wasted a ton of paper making copes of wrestler pictures. Jon said he was on board for wrestling early on. JD said he was into sports and it was sort of a sport. He said he thought it was real when he was a kid. He said that he realized it wasn't real and things started to change. Gary asked if he finds it odd when people get upset when people say that it's fake. Gary asked if people think it's real. JD said that they may know it's not real but they get upset about the way the outcome is of a story. Gary said he figure they were so stupid they don't know it's scripted. JD and Jon said they may know that it's not real but they get upset like someone would get upset when they kill off their favorite character on a TV show. Jon said you accept the world that you're in when you're into wrestling. Jon asked what finishing move JD had. JD said he doesn't remember it. He said he may have had one but he doesn't know what it was. JD said the guy he was most afraid of was Killer Khan and he thinks he hid behind his dad when he walked down the aisle. He said he was afraid he was going to attack. JD said he kind of gave up on the wrestling thing when he was in grade school. Then he got back into it for a while. He said it died off again after that. Jon asked why the Ultimate Warrior meant so much to him. JD said he was a good guy for the most part. He said he was crazy and he had the make up. He said it was the way he talked and things like that. He said it was awesome to watch. Jon said he saw like 4 wrestlers in the airport on his way home from college once. He said he got so mad when he saw them eating together. He said he knew it was fake but he still got angry that they were hanging out together. Gary said he did an appearance with Rowdy Roddy Piper and he was a really nice guy. He said people would yell stuff at him and Roddy would yell back and then turn into a normal person talking to him. Jon took a call from a guy who said that he found it odd that they take bets on wrestling at sports bets. Gary said you can probably bet on who gets killed off on other TV shows too. Jon took a call from a guy who said that wrestling is like a live action cartoon. He said you get invested in it as a kid. Then you become a teen and the reality part came around so you can stay with it. He said some people keep watching because they're afraid they'll miss something good. Gary said he gets that when he was a kid he was into the Banana Splits. He said then he outgrew it when he got older. He said that some people never outgrow Wrestling and he doesn't understand that. Jon said he and his dad used to watch and his dad would laugh at it but he still enjoyed it. Jon said he phased out of it a little bit but it's just fun. Jon said he can't explain it better than that. Jon said Gary wrestled for real and that clouds his judgment a little bit. Gary said he did it for real and he's not sure what that stupidity is. Jon said they had to go to break after that. Gary said you wonder how a guy who was that bad becomes so good. Gary said one of the things he said was that when you try to scare a kid and it doesn't work, that kid will never be scared again. Jon said that Howard loves prison stories too. Gary said he loves those and mob stories too. He said he could listen to those forever. Jon said you wonder if anything ever scared Danny. He said when he was asked to act like a convict he thought he could do it. Jon said that it was just a great interview. Jon took a call from a guy who said it was an amazing interview. He said it's the best this year. The caller also said he likes Danny on Sons of Anarchy. Jon said he is great on that show. Gary said he loves that he was the head on the tortoise in Breaking Bad. Jon said that he wonders if that whole thing with his uncle ever goes away. Gary said if you take a child and put them in that environment you can't expect them to be anything else. He said that he's the unique one who got out of there. Jon said when George Lopez was there he told them to ask him about that tattoo. Jon said they learned how the artist followed Danny from one prison to another to finish that tattoo. Jon asked Ronnie how he felt about that interview. Ronnie said he didn't hear the whole thing but he loves that guy. He said that he loves that Machete movie. Jon took a call from a woman who said she wanted to say that was a great interview with Danny today. She asked if they want to book them again right away or do they let it settle down. Gary said you don't want him back in 2 months but maybe in 6 months to a year. The caller said she could have listened to him for the entire show. Jon said that the thing that kept Danny sane in solitary was reciting the lines from the Wizard of Oz. He said he has never gone to jail so he has no idea what that's like. He said he can imagine how difficult it must be. He said it sounds crazy. Gary said he wouldn't last a day in prison. He said he has spoken to some guys who have been to prison and they say that you have to go to the showers and you have to fight. He said if you don't fight then you're fucked forever. Gary said he doesn't want to be in that world. JD said he watches that Lockup show and that freaks him out. Jon said Robin did that story about the guy who was locked up for 25 years. He said he cant imagine that. Gary said he remembers seeing a guy they called Maytag because he was the guy who would do all of your laundry if you told him to. JD said he watched an HBO special about prison and that freaked him out. Gary said that they did a special about girls in prison and it was really rough. JD said that's called Beyond Scared Straight or something like that. Ronnie said he's not going to prison so he's not worried about it. Gary said that you don't plan on going to prison. Gary said he always reads about DUIs and things. He said that if you fuck up then you're going to jail. He said that there are people who have accidents and they end up going to prison. Gary said that Robin read that story today about the guy who was imprisoned for something he didn't do. Gary said Ronnie could end up in something like that. Gary asked Ronnie if he got locked up would he do something to stop it. Ronnie said he might kill himself when he's out on bail or something. Gary said if you have a live sentence you don't get bail though. Jon took a call from a guy who went off on Ronnie and told him to just answer. Ronnie started yelling at the guy and said he knows he doesn't have a job. The guy told him to get off his high horse and just answer. He said the last couple of weeks Ronnie has been flipping the fuck out. Ronnie said he's just answering the question. The caller said Ronnie is a fucking prick and no one wants to hear him. Ronnie goofed on the guy by doing an impression of him. Jon let the guy go so he could calm Ronnie down. Jon asked Ronnie if he was into wrestling. Ronnie said he liked Haystack Calhoun. Jon got a laugh out of that. Ronnie said they had to pick up Andre the Giant once when he was driving for another company. He said he had to pick him up in a van and the van ended up tipping over. He said the guy was very unhealthy. Gary said he heard stories about where he lived and how he had to lay down on the floor to be driven anywhere. Gary said when he first started working for the show he was hired to do a car show and he did it with Bruno San Martino. He said that Bruno looked at him like ''Who the fuck is coming here to see you?'' and he was thinking the same thing about Bruno. They went to break a short time later. Jon said that Rob went from Ohio to Malibu and JD went from Ohio to there. He said that has to be quite different. JD said that the subway system freaked him out. He said he didn't think he'd be able to figure it out but he did eventually. Jon said that Rob was so good on The West Wing and you can't blame him for leaving after you hear the story. He said that he had a good reason for leaving. Jon said he thought that Matt Dillon story was great too. He said that he did 3 other movies to get Diane Lane. Gary said that in the first book Rob talks about the auditions he did for The Outsiders and things like that. Jon said he did say that with Ralph Macchio he wishes he had his life instead of what he has. Jon said that he took a while to get to the place he's at in his personal life. Gary said Rob's wife was up there too and she was very nice. Gary said he thinks that Rob cheated on her and she told him to go away and get his shit together. He did that and they have been together ever since. Jon said Rob and Danny both went through their own rehab and they have stuck with it all this time. Jon said that it's easier said than done. Gary said that he thinks Rob was being too nice about Charlie Sheen. He said he thinks that Charlie Sheen will get sober eventually and he'll be deeply embarrassed by this time period. Jon took a call from a guy who said that he listened to Howard years ago when he was a shock jock. He said that he is the best interviewer now. He said you have to listen to him do his interviews these days. He said he goes from Dan Rather to Danny Trejo and you get so much information out of both. He said it's mind boggling to him. The caller said that Howard is the guy who should replace David Letterman. He said people who think Howard is way out there just haven't listened to him. Gary said he doesn't think Howard could replace David Letterman. He said he can't do a 90 minute interview in that format. He said that Howard needs his own show on HBO or somewhere like that where it's unedited and unfiltered. He said that some interviews go 40 minutes and some go 90 minutes. Jon said this week the guests were all over the place but in a good way. He said he really flexed his muscles with his interviewing skills. Gary said one thing they didn't touch on with Rob today was about the Brat Pack. He said the group went out with a reporter and he did a hatchet job on them. Gary said that he heard that nickname and he thought it was a great one. Gary said that you have an idea of who was in the group but there are some people who were thrown in there. Shuli said that Sour Shoes was calling his desk to get in on the show as all of the Brat Pack. He wanted to so impressions of them all. Ronnie said that Playboy story was good too. Gary said he has been there and he was there for the DVD release of Van Wilder. He said there were about 70 guys there and about 2 girls. He said the girls are there from 7 to 11 and they're out of there as soon as it's 11 o'clock. Jon asked Ronnie about being at the Playboy mansion. Ronnie said they were doing Howard's show there. Gary said the party to go to is the Halloween party. He said that's the one that they really want to be at. Jon asked Shuli what he had in the Howard 100 News today. Shuli ran down a few stories they have coming up today. He mentioned one story about Bobo moving to Florida and how he's going to be selling some stuff and packing up his Howard shrine for the move. Gary wondered if he's selling any memorabilia that he'd want. Shuli said he's not sure he's selling any of that stuff. Gary said he'd like to know if he is. The rest of the guys got in their plugs and they ended the show around 11:00am. Jon asked Benjy if he thinks people knowing what he's going through will change their outlook on him. Benjy said he hopes so. He said when you realize someone is facing mortality much sooner than others it makes you a kinder person. Jon said Eric has faced it all his life. Gary said this one seems pretty serious. He said he knows it's a big deal because someone in his own family has had it done. He said that it is open heart surgery. Jon said he wanted to talk about Dan Rather. He asked Gary if he ever thought he'd see Dan in there. Gary said it was a dream come true for them. He said he got the book Dan wrote in 1975 or so. He said he thought he wanted to be Dan Rather and go around the world covering stories. Jon asked if he ever did anything like that. Gary said no. He said he worked for a radio station that broke stories that were big and he thought he wanted to do that stuff. He said he took a job at NBC working for the traffic reporter. He said that was his toe in the door. Jon said that's what you have to do and that's what you tell your kids. He said you get your foot in the door and prove yourself. He said you become well liked and move yourself up the chain. Gary said that most people don't take a job at 22 and keep it the rest of your life. Benjy said they do there. Jon said that's a good point. He said almost everyone there was an intern on the show before. He said Will, Jason, Benjy, Steve, Sal, Richard and others have started there as an intern or a guest. Gary pointed out that Jon started out as a guest. Jon said once you get in there you can make things happen. Gary said they like to hire within. He said if they find someone with talent and sensibilities then they want them there. Gary said if they see those two things they hire you and no one leaves because it's a great place to work. Jon asked Benjy if he expected to be there a long time. Benjy said he was determined to get a job but he never thought he'd stay this long. He said he knew he could make it into a job though. He said that people told him that it doesn't happen there but it did. Gary said he used to go out and smoke before he went to his car. He said Benjy would stand with him and ask questions about the show. He said this was when they were at K-Rock. He said he could see Benjy had an interest in knowing more about the show. He said it was great. Gary said those were some of the best times they had together. Jon asked Benjy if he planed to leave when Gary did. Benjy said he guesses he did. He said he doesn't remember Gary smoking though. He said he remembers hanging out with him but not the smoking thing. Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks Howard is one of the biggest celebrities out there. He said it's great when someone Howard admires walks in the studio. He said that he's awestruck and it's great. He said it's nice to see him get down to that level. Gary said Dan Rather has had a front seat to history. He said he has spoken to every president since Kennedy and he's been there for everything. Gary said there aren't many people like that left. Jon said that people learned their news from him too. He said the thing that fascinated him about Dan Rather is that he didn't get the respect that others did. He said Walter Cronkite and others never gave him the credit. Gary said some of those anchor guys weren't out there doing it like Dan Rather was. Jon said Anderson Cooper is out there doing that. He said he goes out and gets the story and puts himself in harm's way. He said Dan even said that he respected him for that. Jon said maybe the other reporters just don't get to do that. Gary said he likes Brian Williams and he thinks that he has been an anchor for most of his career. He said he met Scott Pelly last year and he was blown away in how involved he is with that news cast. He said he is the news director for that program. He said he had a discussion with him about it. Jon said he didn't know Gary was such a news junkie. Gary said he really is. Benjy asked how long Dan Rather has been off the network. Gary said it has to be sometime in the 90s. Gary said he used to watch Brian Williams but now he watches Scott Pelly. Benjy asked if Rather went to something else after CBS. He said he knows he's on AXS now. Gary said he thinks that Dan has been off a long time. Jon said he doesn't think he wanted to leave. He said he thinks he enjoys doing what he does. Jon said Dan has such a unique voice that you know who it is instantly. Gary said you don't even need to look at the radio to see who it is. Jon took a call from a guy who said there's something great about that moment when Dan talked about having the gun to his head and saying that guy said he was going to ''fucking kill you''. Gary said they all smiled and looked at each other when they heard that. He said everyone talks that way in real life. He said when he was on TV he wasn't allowed to talk like that. Gary said of course it sounds kind of shocking. Jon said you can tell that's how he really is in real life. Jon said he went to get personal with Dan and Dan said it in a classy way when he said Howard is crazy if he thinks he's going to answer that stuff. Gary said people think when you come there you have to answer questions. He said that it's up to the guest if they want to answer or not. Gary said they don't force anyone. Gary said he got a mention on Dan's blog. He said he really respects the guy and it's amazing when someone like that likes you back. Jon took a call from a guy who said last week the subject of DJs came up. He said he thinks that they could get Howard interested if they talked about how much money they're making. He said they're getting like a million or a half million per night to play. He said he thought that might be a hook to get Howard interested. Gary said that those guys are on their radar and they were pitched someone recently. Gary said that the financial aspect is mind blowing. He said that's why they were going to have this guy on. He said the guy wasn't able to make it to New York so they didn't have him in. Gary said there was a guy getting paid six figures to do one night of DJ'ing for their kid's party. Gary said that this is pretty mind blowing. Jon asked if Lucas got into it and wanted to do it for a living, would it be okay with him. Gary said that these DJs do after movies where they show all of the fun parts of the job but not the actual work. Gary said he tries to guide his son. He said that he has a major gig on Friday night. He said Lucas is the one who is handling everything himself. He said he had to sign some paperwork but that's all he had to do. Benjy said that they had DJ AM on the show so they did have a DJ on. Gary said he is a different kind of DJ. He said he was one who mashed up songs. He said the DJs they're talking about are making their own songs. Benjy said he didn't know what that was all about. Jon said they had to go to break so he cut them off and said they'd get to it after the break. Jon asked if Dave has any idea what the real Dave's retirement might mean for his career as Evil Dave. Will said he thinks he takes it day by day. Gary said he's banking on Evil Dave outliving the real Dave. He said he's not so sure that will happen. Jon said he thinks that there will be a shelf life for Evil Dave after the real Dave retires. Will said they could find out what Dave is doing in retirement every year or so. He said that might work. Gary said that Evil Dave has been around for a while and he should know that you don't eat on microphone. Will said the guy who plays Evil Dave is named Dave. He said he lives in the old days because he doesn't have a cell phone and you have to call 3 different numbers to get a hold of him. Jon took a call from a woman who asked Gary if he is going tonight for the induction for the E Street Band. Gary said he is. He said this is hands down the best class. He said that they have a stellar line up of bands being inducted. Richard Christy said Gary is beaming today. He said he thinks he has a big hard on today because of that whole thing. Jon said Gary does have a little extra pep in his step today. Gary said that's the great thing about this job. He said when you wake up and you have a great guest on the show it's easier to wake up. Jon said that the Dan Rather thing was great for him. Richard said he was up for Danny Trejo. The guys talked about Rob Lowe too. Jon said they'll talk more about that tomorrow. Jon said Gary is turning red now. Gary said he and Rob are about the same age and they have kids around the same age. He said he felt he had a connection to him because he took him out on Dial-a-Date. He said that they had a talk about those clubs they used to go to back in the 80s and that was fun. Jon asked Richard about Danny Trejo. Richard said he has been a big fan of his since he was in ''From Dusk to Dawn.'' He said he was a big fan of his on King of the Hill too. He said he has a really interesting life story too. Jon said he thinks it was one of the best interviews of the year. He said he had some great stories and he has a great sense of humor. Gary said when he talks about the tattoo he has on his chest he talked about the prisons he was in to get them and they were hard core prisons. Richard said he loved the quote he had about how acting like you're not scared in a prison riot scene that's real acting. Jon asked if any of the guys have anyone in their life that was as big an influence on their lives as Danny's uncle was. Gary said he had an uncle who was sort of living that life and he's dead now. Richard said he had an uncle Herbie who had a Fiero in the 80s. He said he taught him how to flip people off. He said he was a cool uncle and he was an influence on him. Richard said his Fiero had a sunroof and he'd have him stand up through the roof and flip his parents off. Jon asked how long he influenced him for. Richard said it was a long time. He said he had a haunted house that was great and that's one of the reasons he loves Halloween. He said he saw Evil Dead with his uncle too. Jon said they had to take another break after that. Jon took a call from a guy who said that Jeff Van Gundy is a real douche bag. He said that he really is a moron. Gary said that he's considered to be a pretty good basketball mind. He said maybe he had no idea what he was doing singling Howard out. He said he's sure that he's been to a million games where people have left early. Jon said he thinks that he was just thinking that Howard likes to mix it up with people and break balls so he decided to do it with Howard. He said he didn't know the consequences of what was going to happen. Jon said the Reggie Miller clip was great too where he said he wasn't going to mess with Howard. Gary said they have had this happen before. He said that they have hours and days and weeks to fuck with someone. He said they can do it every day. Benjy asked if Van Gundy should apologize at a Knick game. Gary said he thinks he'll just shut up and hope it goes away. Will said he thinks that the Knicks might want him to apologize so they don't discourage people from wanting to go to the games. Jon said he doesn't work for them though. He was doing a broadcast for ESPN. Jon said they'll have to see what happens with that because it's not going away. Jon took a call from a woman who asked what Gary thinks about Cat Stevens being inducted and if he will show up. Gary asked what she means. The caller said that he talked a lot of shit about the states after he became Islamic. Gary said that they're inducting him in as a musician and not about him as a person. He said that if you go that way then you have to talk about all of the people who have been arrested. He said it's about their contribution to music. Gary said that he's not sure if Cat Stevens is going to show up. He said he changed his name to Yusuf Islam so he's not sure if he'll show up if they don't call him that. Jon asked Richard how Sal is doing now that KISS is being inducted into the hall of fame. Richard said he's excited about it. Gary said he and Richard were talking about the crazy stuff Sal has done because of KISS. They talked about how he's contacted some of the band and also how he's dressed up as KISS and things like that. Richard told a story about Sal meeting Ace Frehley and how he was in the bathroom trying to put makeup on as Ace. Then Sal wanted to take a picture with Ace at the studio and the only person around was Howard so he asked Howard to take it. Gary said he saw that going on and he ran over to take the picture instead. Jon said with that they'll end the show. Gary mentioned that he'll Instagram out any good pictures he takes at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction. He said that he's not sure when it will air on TV. Jon had the guys get in their plugs and then ended the show. They were done around 11:20am. Jon asked Sal what he thinks and what Sal would do if someone came after him. Sal said it all depends. He said if someone blatantly insults Howard then it's not worth following through. He said that Michael Wiener knows who Howard is and his whole angle was screwy. He said there was no substance there and the guy was a complete jerk off. Jon congratulated Sal on his band KISS getting into the rock and roll hall of fame. He asked if Richard likes them as much as Sal does. Sal said he probably wouldn't have liked Elvis if his dad didn't play it on the 8 Track in the car when he was growing up. He said he likes Coheed and Cambria because Richard played it for him. He said that Peter Criss' solo album was a big deal to Richard and got him started drumming so they're a big deal to Richard too. Jon said that it's great that KISS is in the hall of fame now. Sal said he saw their Destroyer album when he was 8 years old and that visual was amazing. He said that this kid Chris Raggett brought the album into school and he saw it and stared at it for at least a half hour. He said he was mesmerized by it at the time. He said there was something about picking up a record and looking at it. He said he fell in love with the band without even hearing them. Jon said he fell in love with 4 guys in makeup and wild clothes. Jon said that hearing it first might have been different. Sal said KISS used glam and makeup and all of that but when you strip it down they had great music. Jon asked if Sal ever got to see KISS in concert as a kid. Sal said he wasn't allowed to go out at all. He said his dad never let him go. He said all he wanted to do was see them. He said once they took the makeup off he was done with them. Jon asked if that was tough for him. Sal said it was really hard and he knew it was bad when they did that. Sal said when they announced they were getting back together in 1996 he bought tickets to 4 shows. He said he ended up crying during ''New York Groove.'' He said he was back in the groove with them. He said it was great seeing Ace Frehley playing the song. He said his arm went up to the song and he just lost it. He said he was a mess. Jon said he bets he wasn't the only one crying. Sal said there were a bunch of people around him and none of them were crying. Sal said he went to concert 4 nights in a row and they were in all different sections. He said on the third night he was in the third row and by then he was bored out of his mind. He said he said he felt trapped there. Sal said that he ended up shooting spitballs at the guys. Jon asked Sal about what they do on stage. Sal said they put the curtain down and that's great. He said the last song they do is great too. He said they have the stage set up great and they have the record covers come to life. Jon asked JD what he thinks of KISS. JD said he likes a couple of their bigger hits. He said he's not a huge fan of them. Jon asked JD if he feels that people there influence his opinions like Sal's dad did with his music. JD said in a way they do. Jon said that Will is a fan of OAR. Sal said he has no idea who that is. Jon said that JD isn't a Rush fan because he's a Rush fan. JD said he's not. He said he didn't know about Nirvana until some of his friends turned him on to it. Jon asked if Howard being a fan has made JD a fan of something. JD said that there are some TV shows that he's gotten into. He has to pull clips from those shows. JD said he will only pull some clips because Howard brings them up. He said he won't go out of his way for some of that stuff. Jon said that there was a time that Sal almost had Howard's mentality and he could tell what he was into. Sal said he was almost there. He said it wasn't quite there. Sal said he makes an effort to figure that stuff out. He said that when he auditioned for Howard's band he played songs on the bass that Howard would like. Jon took a call from a guy who said he wants to talk about KISS. He asked if they're the most overrated band in history. Jon said he doesn't think that's the case. He said they do have a couple of really good songs. He said that they're not particularly great but he thinks people shitting on them isn't fair. Sal said that they have been bashed by the critics for years and he doesn't' think they're overrated. He thinks they're underrated. Jon asked if Sal if he got dressed up as any of the KISS guys. Sal said he got dressed up like Ace once. He said they were at K-Rock at the time. He said he bought some tin foil at a store and he went into the bathroom and dressed up. He said he put the makeup on and it was horrible. He said Ace ended up walking into the bathroom while he was doing this. He said Ace walked in and he said his name. He said Ace walked right past him and went into the stall and took a dump. He said he didn't even give him a half a smile. Sal said it was like he wasn't even there. Jon asked Sal if he walks into a bathroom and someone is dressed up as him, with the bad beard and all, what would he expect to do. Sal said normally you would just wink or say hi. Sal said Ace did nothing at all. He said he thinks that the guy has been doing it so long that he didn't want to see another asshole dressed up like him. Sal said that he had zero reaction to it at all. He said the bathroom was tiny there too. He said he didn't let it get him down though. Sal said he had pitched Ace for the show that day. He said he had notes about his book but Ace didn't want to talk about any of that stuff. Sal said he had to go into the studio and try to get him to talk about that stuff. He said he was throwing that stuff out and it ended up working out well. He said he felt that Ace acknowledged him after that. He said Howard stood behind the console and he wanted to take a picture with Ace so he asked Howard to take it. He said Gary grabbed the camera and said that he'd take it. He said you can see the picture if you Google ''Sal Ace Frehley.'' Jon asked Sal what he was thinking when he asked Howard to take the picture. Sal said that was the time in his life when he thought Howard was his buddy and he could stay at his apartment. He didn't think Howard would think it was a big deal either. He said he figured Howard would just take the picture but that wasn't the case. Jon said they had to go to break after that. Jon asked if Sal feels the love from people like that when they're there. Sal said that he doesn't get caught up in the whole thing. He said you can't do that. He said you have to feel like you belong and there's a reason you're doing what you're doing. Benjy asked Sal about a social situation. He asked if he'd be more nervous in that situation than at work. Sal said he's more disappointed because he can't engage in a sincere conversation. Jon said that he's seen Sal in social situations and he is able to break the ice. Sal said he is willing to do it but he's not sure if he'll appeal to them. He said he's a big fan of George Lopez but he has to keep it professional with him. He said what happened is that he saw his KISS stuff in the office and George asked who the fan was. Sal said they ended up talking for a half hour about KISS so that happened organically. Benjy asked Sal if he thinks that the power people have in their life affects him at all. Sal said no. Jon said that Sal and Carol had a relationship outside the show already. Sal said the power they have affects him in a synchronicity way. He said he works with Howard creating stuff. Then he has a friend like Carol Leifer come in and they work on something so it happens that way. Jon took a call from a guy who asked about the Seinfeld references. He said that Howard never watched Seinfeld and then he talks to Carol Leifer and tells her that he loves certain episodes. He asked if he actually watched the show or if he has people do research there. Jon said he thinks that Howard has watched Seinfeld since then but maybe he hasn't seen every episode. He said Will and the research team also prepare him for the interview. He said some Seinfeld episodes have gotten so popular that you've heard about them even if you didn't watch. Sal said the Korean translation episode was so great. He said she turned that into a great comedy bit. Jon asked Sal if he and his dad spoke Italian to him when he was growing up. Sal said he did but he would just nod his head and not speak it back. He said he was embarrassed by that. He said if his Dad said something about his friend it was very obvious. He said he would say something in Italian and insult the kid and it was so obvious. He said he would tell his friend that it was something completely different. He said it was so embarrassing that he kept his friends away from his dad. Benjy said his parents did the same thing. He said his dad had whistles that did different things too. He said he had a whistle to get in touch with him in a mall and he'd have to whistle back until they found each other. Benjy said they still have that. He said he doesn't want to give it away. He said it's not as special now that they have cell phones. Benjy said his dad had a signal whistle that he'd do and he had an answer back. Jon said he was always envious of people who had that. He said that he loves that Seinfeld episode and how George's dad came in and busted them. He said he feels that happens all the time. Sal said they had a biker walk in one day and his dad complained about the guy in Italian and the guy heard every word and understood it all. He said his dad sat him down and said he'd give him anything he wanted when he found out he was Sicilian. Benjy said he finds that very interesting that Sal can speak Sicilian. Sal said it's very broken so when he does go off on someone they laugh at him. He said that happened once when a guy ripped him off. He said this guy started laughing at what he said because he said it a little wrong. He wanted to ask if he thought he was a joke and it came out as ''Do you think I'm a lady who wants to hear a joke'' in Sicilian. He said it was so embarrassing. Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Jon would ever go in and correct Howard when he's going off on Jeff Van Gundy. Jon said Howard was pissed because he was trying to embarrass him on TV. He said that he's not going to go in and correct him. The caller asked if Howard was upset because he has to leave everything early. Jon said he thinks that it was just Howard wondering who this guy was breaking his balls. He said if you go after Howard personally you are going to get it back tenfold. JD said if you go after Howard at a 6 Howard is going to come back at you like a 20. Jon said he's not sure how this is going to end up. He wasn't sure if Van Gundy was going to like it. JD said he thinks that he did like it. He said he has responded to the incident. He didn't read the whole story yet though. Jon said they had to go to break after that. Jon asked Lisa about KISS being inducted. Lisa said she was looking at their faces and couldn't stop. She said it looks like they had bad plastic surgery or something. Jon asked Sal if he's worried about the stuff he uses on his face hurting him in the long run. Sal said there are side effect to everything. He said that Jon is worried about the French fries he shoves down his gullet. Jon said that it's hard to think about what will happen down the road. Sal said that Aveeno cream is good for you so he's not so worried. Jon asked Sal if he would consider plastic surgery. Sal said he did consider it for the black rings around his eyes. He said that he didn't want to get into the surgery thing. He said the doctor told him he could wear makeup instead. He said that guys don't do that though. Sal said he thinks he was wearing makeup when the guy said that to him. He said that he doesn't think he'd do it unless he needed it. He said he would like to get his chin tightened. He said he'd like to tighten up his jaw line too. Sal said that if you have a weak chin you grow a beard and it helps. Sal said that's why he has the beard. Jon asked if that's why JD has a beard. JD said his is from pure laziness. JD said he would never do plastic surgery. Benjy said he would do his hair if he knew it would work. He said he has huge earlobes but he's super proud of them now. He said if you look up what they mean it means you're super smart in Buddhism. Lisa said she's scared of Botox even though she needs it. Jon asked if she would get a breast reduction. Lisa laughed and said no way to that. Jon asked Lisa how she feels about people who do it. Lisa said if it makes you happy then it's fine. She said the face lifts that women are getting younger and younger is what freaks her out. Benjy asked Jon about why he isn't disciplined with food. Jon said he has diabetes and he feels like he wants to eat what he wants to eat. He said he enjoys the food a lot. He said that the Diabetes really gets to you 10-20 years down the road. Jon said he doesn't think long term and that is selfish and wrong of him. He said he wishes he could overcome that. Sal asked Jon how he would feel if his wife and kids had surgery. Jon said they can do what they want but he would not want his wife and kids to do that. He said you are who you are and someone will love you for that. He said he would go under the knife only if it was threatening his life. Jon asked Sal what he would do. Sal said his wife wanted to do Lipo. He said he told her he had a cheaper solution. He suggested a treadmill. He said that's safer and more healthy. Jon asked how long he's been a Howard fan for. John said since Howard took his reduced hours he has taken some reduced hours himself. He said was a fan for a good four years or so. He said it became kind of an addiction. He said when he was in the car he was listening to nothing but Howard. He said he had no idea what was going on in the world other than what Robin was reporting on. John said he is a big fan because of the truth telling. Sal asked if he was a big Beastie Boys fan. He said he thinks he saw him at a show years ago. John said he is. He said he is in the KISS Army too. He said that was great seeing them in the Hall of Fame. He said that the KISS Army is a real thing too. He said you have to sign up. Sal said he never signed up. He said his parents never allowed him to have stamps to mail things. John said that the time Sal got goofed on for the retirement thing was one of the greatest things ever. He said he sat in disbelief at that segment. Jon asked if he had that coming to him. John said he did. He said he was crying over his kids. John told him it's Sal's responsibility so he should grow up. Jon asked John about why he's such a fan of the show. John said that there are some truthful people out there and Howard is one of them. He said that Michael Moore is another. John said Howard is a great interviewer too. He said he also tells the truth so that's why he's so great. Jon said that people are proud of being a fan these days and years ago it wasn't like that. Jon asked when that happened. John said when AGT became part of the whole thing it became less interesting to him. He said he has been into that kind of experience on the radio. He said that he used to listen to Steve Dahl and he was part of their whole army thing. Jon asked how many Armys he's been in. John said that it's been a lot. Jon asked what he's out there promoting. John said he narrated a movie for Disney called ''Bears'' and that's what he's out promoting. Jason said his wife is dying to see it. John said that they got super close to the bears and it's super cool to see what the mother bears have to do to raise their cubs. He said they got inside the bear's lair and you see the baby bears being born. Jon wondered how they did that. John said it's amazing and he's not sure how they did it. He said they told him that the place they filmed they have no people so they didn't care about the people being around. John said it's pretty incredible. He said you get closer to a bear than you'll ever be... hopefully. Jon said he knows John has to run but he thanked him for stopping by. John said he'll return some day and give them a proper ribbing. Sal said his kids love him in the movie Step Brothers. John told Sal not to start crying. Benjy said that John was in the movie Cyrus and the character was based on him. John asked if he was talking about his character. Benjy said he meant the character of Cyrus. Sal told Benjy that John really had to go. John had to go and left a few seconds later. Jon asked Sal how he feels knowing that a guy like that is a fan of his. Sal said that's great. He said it's amazing that he heard him that day and he stayed in his car to listen. Jon asked JD why he thought that his meeting with him was awkward. JD said he just blurted out a few things with him. Jason said he heard that John was there and John told him he wanted to meet JD. Jason said he ran and got JD to come back down and he introduced him to the guys. He said they took a selfie together and Tim Heidecker was there too and Tweeted something out. JD asked if Jason turns on the Sybian every time he gives a tour. Jason said he does. He said that's part of the whole tour every time. Benjy asked if he has a climax moment for the tour. Jason said it's bringing someone into the studio. Jon said that John C. Reilly came looking for JD. JD said he has loved him for a long time. He said that it was very cool. Sal asked who he has met that he was thrilled about. Jon said he doesn't know. He said it's strange when someone knows who you are. He said they know your voices and then they see your face and they're shocked. Sal said that he has people expecting to see a Ron Jeremy looking guy when they see him. Jon said he had to wrap up the show after that. He asked the guys to give their plugs. They ended the show around 11:05am.

It’s January 21st, meaning that Tetrapod Zoology is another year older and has now been going for more than seven years. Time once again to look back at the year that’s passed… or, the year as seen from my own personal, Tet Zoo-themed perspective. As per previous birthday events (or, blogoversaries, or whatever), I’m going to discuss things in chronological order, as if I was reading it all from some grand, comprehensive personal diary (which I’m not). This makes everything messy and jumbled but, hey, I’m talking about real life. And – remember – these articles are highly omphaloskeptical; stop reading now if you hate self-absorption or introspection. Ok, off we go… Oh, and because the SciAm blog platform disallows the featuring of date-arranged or subject-arranged archives, please find a subject-arranged list of links at the bottom of this article. As per the latter months of 2011, 2012 saw me affiliated with the University of Southampton’s National Oceanography Centre where I worked as part of Gareth Dyke’s vertebrate palaeontology research group. I got to spend the better part of the year working as a technical researcher: as a consequence, I was pretty productive during the year. Finally, I was able to finish some of the long-overdue projects that have been on the backburner for, literally, years. Eotyrannus: finished, yet strangely not finished So 2012 started with me working hard to complete and update my descriptive monograph on the tyrannosauroid theropod Eotyrannus. If you have a brilliant memory you might recall that I signed off the previous Tet Zoo blogoversary article by hinting about the in-progress nature of this project. I finished said article with a mystery picture that featured a load of grey plastic boxes balanced precariously on a small table. Well, those boxes contained the Eotyrannus holotype (lovingly referred to as the Eotyrannus holotype). The monograph is the long-promised follow-up to the preliminary but hugely cited Hutt et al. (2001) and concerns the dinosaur I focused on for my PhD thesis. I actually live-tweeted progress throughout work on the project (#Eotyrannus) and – together with excellent co-author Andrea Cau (of Theropoda) – had the manuscript done and submitted during February. Whence…. it has since languished in review. Grr. Giant otters in the snow Material on colubrid snakes, that ‘San Diego Demonoid’ carcass (a Virginia opossum), odontocetes and my review of Williams and Lang’s book Australian Big Cats appeared on Tet Zoo at about this time. During early February I (with family) visited the New Forest Wildlife Centre where I was amazed to see Giant otters Pteronura brasiliensis frolicking in the snow. The animals concerned – they’re called Akuri and Simuni – were born at a wildlife centre in Derbyshire; since we saw them in February, they’ve been selected for overseas breeding programmes. Giant otters are another of those animals where the estimated global population is far lower than you might assume: it’s probably between 1000 and 5000. Yes, there may be as few as 1000 Giant otters in the whole world. Interesting factoid about Giant otters: according to a recent phylogenetic analysis of carnivorans, Pteronura may not actually be an otter at all, but instead the sister-taxon to the clade that includes other otters, weasels and kin (Agnarsson et al. 2010). Aquatic Apes, Cryptozoology, ‘Necks For Sex’ and cleaning beaches Later in February I finished an article on the Aquatic Ape Hypothesis (AAH) for BBC Focus magazine. Written to mark 50 years since the publication of Alister Hardy’s proposal, it ended up being published online only rather than in the magazine (Naish 2012a). I’ve always been really interested in the AAH. I’m certainly not averse to the possibility that certain populations or species of hominid might have foraged on beaches, in wetlands and so on, but I agree with the majority of primatologists and anthropologists that there is no compelling evidence linking the evolution of hominid (or hominine, or hominin) anatomy, behaviour or physiology with such a way of life. We seem to owe our unusual anatomy, posture and lifestyle to a history that involves vertical climbing, adaptation to open habitats, specialisation for complex communication and reliance on rare, fatty foods. Incidentally, a two-day symposium focusing on the possible role of waterside adaptation in hominid evolution is being held this May at the Grange St. Paul's Hotel in London. I’d like to attend but don’t know if I can. May is also when the next International Symposium on Pterosaurs is being hosted in Rio and I’m intending to make it to that. The submission deadline for the pterosaur meeting is January 31st, come if you can! Another Focus article appeared in March. Titled ‘Should we give up looking for Bigfoot?’ (Naish 2012b), and focusing mostly on the question of whether the pursuit of mystery animals should be considered worthy or not, I basically argued that we need to make a judgement call when considering which ‘mystery animals’ are possibly real and which are possibly not. I think that there’s a totally subjective sliding scale; that not all ‘mystery animals’ (I’m deliberately not using the term ‘cryptid’ here) are in the same proverbial basket, and that we have to make decisions about which seem likely to exist based on reported appearance, location and behaviour. Orang-pendek might score well, mothman might not, and where sasquatch goes really depends on which evidence you think is at all good or worthy of consideration. Like I said, it’s subjective, but it means that I regard the existence of things like bigfoot as looking pretty unlikely (yes, I’m familiar with the several ‘good’ bits of evidence, and all of them have turned out to be unreliable or erroneous). Predictably, the article earned scorn from readers who interpreted my opinion as defeatist and dismissive. Also in March I gave a talk for the Geological Society of London on the whole ‘Sauropod necks not for sex’ thing (see Taylor et al. 2011). I damn-near did a UK-wide lecture tour based around that research, giving the same talk for the Southampton Geology Group in April, the Bristol University Palaeontological Discussion Group in May, the Dorset County Museum’s Geology Lecture Series in November and the Bournemouth Natural Science Society in January (for the original Tet Zoo article see Necks for sex? No thank you, we’re sauropod dinosaurs on ver 2). I gave other talks as well, speaking about azhdarchid pterosaurs for the Bournemouth Natural Science Society and Saharan wildlife for the Southampton Natural History Society (both in April). I did beach-cleaning work in March. My thoughts on non-degradable anthropogenic waste and the impact it has on animals and environments are the same as they have been in previous years; on a global scale, the situation is depressing beyond belief, involving the starvation and needless death of 1000s of birds, turtles, marine mammals and other animals, the contamination and obliteration of food webs, the swamping of beaches and of the pelagic realm with endless tons of plastic shit, the chemical pollution of animal’s bodies, including those of human children, and so on. Occasionally I meet people who doubt that things are really this bad. Inevitably, they are the sorts of individuals who don’t get out much, and who certainly don’t do things like make deliberate trips to ruined ecosystems. My local ‘project beach’, Chessel Bay Nature Reserve here in Southampton, is afflicted both by macro-litter as well as by millions of tiny plastic nurdles and other bits of micro-litter. Our clean-up efforts are led by my friend Rose Nicole. Several articles forming part of the petrel series appeared on Tet Zoo during March. Aiming to wrap that series up soon (yeah, I’ve heard that before). At about this time, I worked in the background on two cat-based projects (neither of which have yet been through the system), on manuscripts describing new pterosaurs and ichthyosaurs, on several projects that focus on sexual selection in fossil animals, and on a lengthy article about the conservation status of South American mammals. Some of these projects saw publication later in the year; others are still in preparation and news will appear here as and when it’s appropriate. Wookey Hole! Animal Inside Out! Marwell Zoo! During April I and the family went to Wookey Hole. While that name might be a little odd-sounding if it’s new to you, I assure you that Wookey Hole is a well known holiday attraction in Somerset, southern England. It’s predominantly a spectacular cave system, but there’s also a landscaped valley with life-sized prehistoric animal statues of the ‘vintage’ sort that we all remember from childhood. A few of my favourites are shown in the montage above. I also visited the Gunther von Hagens ‘Animal Inside Out’ (not Animals Inside Out) exhibition at the Natural History Museum in London with Dave Hone and Rose-Heather Mikalik. The giraffes and elephants were well worth the proverbial price of admission, and I liked the ostriches and domestic mammals as well. Not so enamoured with the marine invertebrates though. The exhibition was on show between April 6th and September 16th – if you’re seriously interested in anatomy you really should make efforts to see it somehow. Dave and I also went to Marwell Zoo in Hampshire a few days later with Heinrich Mallison and Sebastian Marpmann. I love visiting zoos, and visiting them with like-minded colleagues makes the experience all the better. We were extraordinarily lucky that day and got to see giraffes running, zebras engaging in protracted battle and Congo buffalo trotting. I also took time to tell my colleagues how ostriches don’t really have a painful bite – the resulting shenanigans were highly amusing. Tet Zoo articles published around this time include those on Yutyrannus (a fuzzy theropod I initially regarded as a possible carcharodontosaurian), raptors and goannas. Round 4 in the Cadborosaurus Wars (Woodley et al. 2012) saw print. The entire debate was reported on Tet Zoo here in April. One of several projects resulting from the Romanian fieldwork saw publication in May: I’m talking about the enantiornithine nesting colony reported by Dyke et al. (2012) in Naturwissenschaften (and written up here on Tet Zoo). The conclusions of this study had already been ‘outed’ at the 2011 Society of Vertebrate Paleontology meeting in Las Vegas but it was good to get the paper out at last. Other results from our fieldwork in Romania are currently in the system and are due to appear in print very soon. During April, independent scientist/author/TV personality/jazz pianist Brian J. Ford published his Laboratory News article claiming that big dinosaurs couldn’t walk on land and hence must have been obligatorily aquatic. I was among several dinosaur specialists asked to respond; after deliberation, I decided that attempting to undo the damage was a worthy endeavour and a brief but fairly damning response was published in May (Naish 2012c). In June I attended the Hampshire County Fair (wow, so many dogs), had an interview for an overseas job that I didn’t get and published an updated version of the fabled turtle penis article. The latter proved popular (as always) and was picked up by io9 and Jezebel. I also went to the New Forest and Hampshire County Show in July, hence the adjacent photos of wonderful cows. Oh, and Tet Zoo got its own TV Tropes page! ‘Monster of the Manor’: British big cats, again The new National Geographic TV series Wild Scene Investigation started screening during June and I featured in the episode ‘Monster of the Manor’: an investigation focusing on alleged sightings of puma- or leopard-like cats in the British countryside. The series was presented by the intrepid Suzanne York, Daniel Huertas and Lorne Kramer and we had great fun doing the filming back when... whenever we did it (ah, July 2011). As regular readers will know, I don’t think there can be serious doubt about the existence of non-native large cats in the UK. The problem in saying this is that the evidence that I’m aware of is almost wholly unpublished and, understandably I hope, I can never make time to publish it myself (despite efforts to get the projects off the ground). I’m not talking about hazy anecdotes of animals that could be pet dogs or domestic cats, but about an enormous number of collected droppings, chewed bones, carcasses, hairs and tracks. Over the last few years I and colleagues worked on some leopard hairs – confirmed leopard hairs (confirmed both via microscopic anatomy and DNA analysis) – collected in south-west England. However, we ran into some obstacles concerning provenance: understandably, it can be difficult to establish beyond reasonable doubt that your samples were collected in the UK. Consequently, we have yet to publish the work concerned. As usual, I will point to Coard (2007). More on this issue soon, since my long-overdue review of Rick Minter’s 2011 book Big Cats: Facing Britain’s Wild Predators (Minter 2011) needs to appear here soon. On that note, reviews of quite a few 2011 and 2012 books need to see the light of day on Tet Zoo – I try to keep up but it isn’t easy. Luke Hunter’s Carnivores of the World, Karl Shuker’s The Encyclopaedia of New and Rediscovered Animals, John Marzluff and Tony Angell’s Gifts of the Crow, Steve Bodio’s An Eternity of Eagles and many others need to be covered here as soon as possible. Yikes, more pressure. Attached by a goose, the David Peters thing, borhyaenoids and woodcock I published several articles on crocodiles on Tet Zoo in June. That’s another of those sets of articles that still hasn’t been completed. What can I say – I get distracted. I did think of making a New Year’s Resolution to complete all the unfinished articles sitting here in my files. But then I decided to continue doing whatever the hell I like, as and when I feel like it. That seems to have worked out so far. I went deer-spotting at the end of June and – as part of my ongoing study of bird bite strength – got beaten up pretty badly by a male goose who did a good job of looking after his female consorts. I was hoping that the more impressive of the scars would remain for perpetuity; they have not. The lengthy article on Dave Peters and ReptileEvolution.com appeared on Tet Zoo in early July and generated a lot of interest and discussion. My coverage of this issue was picked up by io9, Laelaps and the Pterosaur.net Blog. Dave’s stuff continues to flood the internet and, of course, he remains steadfast in his opinion that his interpretations are more correct than those of anyone else. He announced proudly during 2012 that ReptileEvolution.com received over a million hits during the year, many of them coming his way as curious readers visited his site after reading about it at Tet Zoo. The good news is that the Tet Zoo critique does rank fairly high whenever ‘reptile evolution’ or such is googled. Each of Dave’s articles includes copious meta tags (bits of html code that don't show on the site [to see them, right click and view ‘View page source’], but are read by software and hence help search engines). In fact, every single one of his pages includes such tags as “Reptile, Amniote, Dinosaur, Pterosaur, Synapsid, Diapsid, Plesiosaur, Ichthyosaur, Turtle, Bird, Lizard, Crocodylian, Tetrapod, Mammal, Human, Homo sapiens” as well as “Reptile evolution including the evolution of humans, mammals, birds, dinosaurs, lizards, turtles, crocodilians and other reptiles” and “Reptile evolution from its genesis to today, including the evolution of man, mammals, birds, dinosaurs and reptiles of all sorts”! Wow – I’m not sure if I’m hugely impressed or massively disgusted (I use tags too, but only listing subject areas specifically relevant to the specific article). David remains one of the biggest menaces on the web when it comes to the dissemination of palaeontological information. As an educator, I make the point of telling people not to use or rely on his stuff, and I assume other lecturers, teachers and educators do likewise. Articles on borhyaenoids, toxodonts and suboscine passerines were also published on Tet Zoo during July. Various versions of a montage showing assorted animals from the Cenozoic of South America appeared on Tet Zoo: the illustration is still not complete and other versions will appear here in future. My review of Ryan et al.’s New Perspectives on Horned Dinosaurs: the Royal Tyrrell Museum Ceratopsian Symposium appeared in digital form (Naish 2012d). A brief review of Klein et al.'s Biology of the Sauropod Dinosaurs: Understanding the Life of Giants (Naish 2012e) had appeared earlier in the year, in The Quarterly Review of Biology no less. During a July trip to Longmoor in far east Hampshire (led by the Hampshire Ornithological Society) I had excellent views at dusk of displaying European nightjars Caprimulgus europaeus and Eurasian woodcocks Scolopax rusticola. I wasn’t quick enough with my camera to get what could well have been one of the best photographic opportunities I’ve ever had – a rhoding woodcock, viewed at close-range, silhouetted against a beautiful sunset. If you think the term ‘rhoding woodcock’ has the air of smut about it, shame on you, though you’re right. The Complete Dinosaur, Dinosaur Art, sexual selection, Alien Investigation, lecturing At the start of August my copy of The Complete Dinosaur, Second Edition arrived, and mightily impressive it was too. As discussed at Tet Zoo, the volume includes my own lengthy review of avialan diversity and evolutionary history (Naish 2012f). As I said in the Tet Zoo piece, the chapter is significant in including a substantial review of the Cenozoic avian fossil record. I’ve been trying for years to get the backing to produce a volume – as in, a whole book – on the bird fossil record, but things never pan out. And before anyone says it – no, I am not writing the book and then going in quest of a publisher. This is, I’m sorry to say, an unworkable approach if writing and research forms your primary source of income. I speak from bitter, bitter experience. Another big book project – Steve White’s Dinosaur Art – was nearing completion at the same time. While in London for a meeting, John Conway and I caught up with herpetologists Mark O’Shea and Hinrich Kaiser for a drink. Among many other things, we discussed the Hoser Problem. I’ve only written briefly about this issue (“this issue” = the massive taxonomic vandalism caused by amateur snake-wrangler Raymond Hoser) and indeed will talk more about it and what to do about it later this year. If you’re involved in herpetology and if you’re on facebook, be careful: Mr Hoser is in the habit of sending out friend requests from fake facebook profiles. I went to Oxford in September for the 60th annual Symposium on Vertebrate Palaeontology and Comparative Anatomy (SVPCA). I spoke about a new pterosaur from the Cretaceous of the UK and its implications for our understanding of pterosaur anatomy, diversity and evolution. The paper describing the animal concerned is currently in the system and will appear at some stage in the near future; you’ll hear about it here first (probably). I did consider talking about sexual selection in fossil tetrapods at that conference, since September also saw publication of the review paper that Rob Knell, myself, Joseph Tomkins and Dave Hone published on sexual selection in fossil animals in Trends in Ecology and Evolution (Knell et al. 2012) (Tet Zoo write-up here). The paper version of the article actually didn’t appear until January 2013, and I’m pleased to say that it made the cover: you may recognise the art as that of my friend and colleague Mark Witton. Incidentally, Mark joined the collective and began blogging in 2012. Knell et al. (2012) forms part of a body of work in which sexual selection theory is applied to dinosaurs and pterosaurs as well as other fossil animals (Taylor et al. 2011, Hone et al. 2012). I can only see that applying modern biological theory to fossil animals is a good thing, but there are some palaeontologists who strongly disagree with us and a debate is underway. Keep an eye on the letters pages of TREE. Dinosaur Art was out by September and we had our launch events on September 21st and 22nd. This all got reported at Tet Zoo so I don’t want to gush about it anymore. The Natural History Museum event was filmed and I’m in the lucky position of owning a copy on DVD. I’ll arrange a home screening if there’s sufficient interest. As always with these sorts of events, lots of interesting and noteworthy people turned up. I will only mention one: BAFTA-nominated cameraman and film-maker Paul Stewart, who I know best as producer of the acclaimed BBC TV series The Velvet Claw, surely known to and remembered fondly by a great many Tet Zoo readers (I wrote about the series here and here back in 2007). In what might be an inexcusable bit of behaviour, I took along my boxed set of The Velvet Claw on VHS videotape purely for the photo you see here. Mark Young (of metriorhynchid fame) visited us at Southampton later in September and I was back at the Grant Museum for some filming toward the end of the month. This was for the Alien Investigations show eventually screened in early December. As per previous TV efforts, they wanted me because I was featured as ‘the guy’ who debunked the Montauk Monster. The final product was ok, but for the fact that I don’t think they did a good enough job of rubbishing claims that decomposing raccoons, skinned marmosets and skull-boarded human mummies might be the unexplainable carcasses of genuine aliens. Anyway, our masters course on vertebrate palaeontology kicked off at the University of Southampton’s National Oceanography Centre in October. My first lectures for the course were those on – shock horror – fish, but I was later to tackle Palaeozoic tetrapods, the rise of diapsids, Mesozoic marine reptiles, pterosaurs, turtles and much else. Lecture preparation took up essentially all of my time during the latter months of the year, hence all the recycled stuff that appeared here on Tet Zoo. Technical projects on pterosaurs and Triassic and Cretaceous ichthyosaurs rumbled on in the background; material covered at Tet Zoo at about this time included that on hypothetical big-brained dinosaurs (again), giant flightless bats, hammer-toothed skinks and hypothetical trunked sauropods. Somewhere round about this time, I finished that big montage showing crocodylomorph diversity. It was later modified to account for new information on metriorhynchids and other taxa. A version of the montage was sold for incorporation into a museum display later in the year – more on that when I’m allowed to talk about it. Actually, I also sold my Sibley and Ahlquist tapestry picture for use in a museum installation during the year. And I met up with Alice Roberts again and got to go backstage with The Scissor Sisters. Honest. Still yet to meet Kate Bush though. I had another piece in BBC Focus magazine in October, titled ‘Dinosaur palaeontology’ and forming part of their ‘Questions at the frontiers of…’ series. The idea behind the piece is that it focuses on three areas where new research has the possibility of illuminating areas of mystery or controversy. I opted to cover the origin of flight, the sorts of vocalisations Mesozoic dinosaurs might have made, and the as-yet-unfilled gaps in the dinosaur fossil record (Naish 2012g). Discussing the first issue involves mentioning the birdiness/featheryness of non-avialan theropods, the possibility that feathers were exapted for flight from a role in insulation or display, and wing-assisted incline running (WAIR). I quite like WAIR as a possible explanation for the evolution of some aspects of the flight apparatus in theropods, but I know some researchers who dislike it very much. November saw the appearance of the first issue of The Journal of Cryptozoology, meaning that my paper identifying the Margaret River mammal carcass as a domestic cat now appeared in hard-copy, peer-reviewed form (Naish 2012h). And so, to the close of 2012… All Yesterdays saw publication at the end of November (Conway et al. 2012), with the launch event happening in early December. That all went pretty well; much of it was reported here at Tet Zoo. All Yesterdays has received a lot of mostly very positive response and has sold pretty well. The vast majority of people have understood the point we’ve tried to make: that reconstructions of prehistoric animals should be rigorously based on as much evidence as possible but that a great many things about soft tissue anatomy, behaviour and lifestyle are unknowable and the speculations we regard as traditional are no more ‘right’ than the weirder possibilities we explore in the book (Conway et al. 2012). By the way, we’re all frustrated by the number of small typos in the book. I blame google docs. It repeatedly undoes formatting changes made to a manuscript. On the subject of All Yesterdays, are you aware of the All Yesterdays competition? Details here. The PLOS ONE claw curvature paper, co-authored with Alexandra Birn-Jeffery and others, appeared at the start of December (Birn-Jeffery et al. 2012) (it was discussed here on Tet Zoo) and the paper on Wealden plesiosaurs – co-authored with Roger Benson, Hilary Ketchum and Langan Turner – was also published in December (Benson et al. 2012). Also early in December, Judith Pardo Pérez and I met up for an ichthyosaur-themed project; Dave Hone and I also met up and completed and submitted a new manuscript. Again, this is all stuff that won’t appear for a while yet but it’ll get reported here when it sees publication. Don’t look back in anger Hopefully, this article weaves research, general adventures, popular writing and such together with whatever stuff appeared on Tet Zoo during 2012. I haven’t mentioned everything. There are several children’s books I was involved in, like Dorling Kindersley’s Tourist Guide to Prehistoric Life, Carlton’s How to Build a T. rex, and Kingfisher’s Dinosaurs: The Bare Bones, that appeared during the year, there were various slow-gestation bits of research, and there were an inordinate number of trials and tribulations as goes the ups and downs of personal and academic life. In fact, 2012 was an incredibly tough year that ended on a massive low, not a high. Am I happy with the amount of material covered at Tet Zoo? No, I am never happy. There is so much I want to do but can’t due to constraints of time; of course, paying work, family life and academic commitments have to take priority. And I don’t know if it’s at all obvious from this over-long article, but 2012 seemed nuts – I spent months where I had so many things to do that I never knew where to start. The stress was sometimes unbearable. Was the year – Tet Zoo’s seventh years of operation – a success in terms of what I got to cover? In general terms, readership shows that it was. I keep an eye on stats and ratings and such, and Tet Zoo continued to do pretty well throughout the year. But was it a success in getting through all that tetrapod diversity that I so long to cover here? I dunno, let’s do some counting… (scroll down for evaluation)... - Tet Zoo ver 3, (part of) the story so far - Tet Zoo, the books - Leonard Brightwell’s brilliant palaeo-zoo - Sexual selection in the fossil record - The Haematothermia hypothesis - The All Yesterdays Launch Event - Alien Investigations and the Montauk Monster - All Yesterdays… today! - All Yesterdays: Unique and Speculative Views of Dinosaurs and Other Prehistoric Animals – the book and the launch event - All Yesterdays: the talks! - Tet Zoo Christmassy wishes, 2012 Non-amniote, non-lissamphibian tetrapods Lissamphibians (extant amphibians) - “San Diego Demonoid”: you mean that dead opossum? - Williams and Lang’s Australian Big Cats: do pumas, giant feral cats and mystery marsupials stalk the Australian outback? - Identify the Baja California mystery whale carcass! - Grampus griseus joins the globicephalines - A peculiar whale skeleton is included fortuitously in the sci-fi movie Hunter Prey - Eld’s deer: endangered, persisting in fragmented populations, and morphologically weird… but it wasn’t always so - The Man-Eater of Mfuwe - Marsupial ‘dogs’, ‘bears’, ‘sabre-tooths’ and ‘weasels’ of island South America: meet the borhyaenoids - Obscure fossil mammals of island South America: Thomashuxleya and the other isotemnids - The anatomy of sloths - Great Asian cattle - Zihlman’s ‘pygmy chimpanzee hypothesis’ - Giant flightless bats from the future - Poor little bat, impaled on spines - Marmosets and tamarins: dwarfed monkeys of the South American tropics - The amazing swimming Proboscis monkey (part I) - Nasalis among the odd-nosed colobines or The “Nasalis Paradox” (proboscis monkeys part II) - Mysteries of the diceratheriine rhinos Squamates (snakes, lizards, amphisbaenians) - The more you know about colubrid snakes, the better a person you are - Love for Mastigodryas, Tomodon, Sordellina and all their buddies: you know it’s right - Amphisbaenians and the origins of mammals - Monstersauria vs Goannasauria - Goanna-eating goannas: an evolutionary story of intraguild predation, dwarfism, gigantism, copious walking and reckless thermoregulation - The New Forest Reptile Centre - Amazing social life of the Green iguana - Hammer-toothed skink SMASH! Mesozoic marine reptiles - The gigantic, shark-toothed, small-flippered, long-bodied, sea-going predatory lizard that is Hainosaurus - The carcass of a large, modern-day marine reptile! - Sauropterygians NEVER FORGET - Plesiosaurs and the repeated invasion of freshwater habitats: late-surviving relicts or evolutionary novelties? Other Mesozoic reptiles - Coming next: ReptileEvolution.com and the Dave Peters thing - Why the world has to ignore ReptileEvolution.com - Dissecting a crocodile - Earth: Crocodile Empire homeworld (crocodiles part I) - The once far and wide Siamese crocodile - The Saltwater crocodile, and all that it implies (crocodiles part III) - Crocodiles of New Guinea, crocodiles of the Philippines (crocodiles part IV) - The Freshie: Australian crocodile, seemingly from the north (crocodiles part V) - The Crocopocalypse is upon us - In pursuit of Early Cretaceous crocodyliforms in southern England: ode to Goniopholididae - In pursuit of Early Cretaceous crocodyliforms in southern England (part II): of Vectisuchus and Leiokarinosuchus, Bernissartia and the hylaeochampsids - Awesome sea-going crocodyliforms of the Mesozoic Mesozoic non-avialan dinosaurs - Greg Paul’s Dinosaurs: A Field Guide - There are giant feathered tyrannosaurs now… right? - Ryan et al.’s New Perspectives on Horned Dinosaurs: a review - The 19th Century discovery of dinosaurs - Dinosauroids revisited, revisited - The Great Dinosaur Art Event of 2012 - Junk in the trunk: why sauropod dinosaurs did not possess trunks (redux, 2012) - A symbiotic relationship between sunfish and… albatrosses? Say what? - Because the world belongs to petrels (petrels part I) - Living the pelagic life: of oil, enemies, giant eggs and telomeres (petrels part II) - Petrels: some form-function ‘rules’, and pattern and pigmentation (petrels part III) - Noel W. Cusa’s brilliant seabird drawings - Alien viruses from outer space and the great Archaeopteryx forgery - Chickens, 2012 - Raptor vs raptor - Putting petrels in their place and the possibly weird evolution of albatrosses (petrels part IV) - Thor Hanson’s Feathers: The Evolution of a Natural Miracle - A drowned nesting colony of Late Cretaceous birds - Gadfly-petrels: rarities, a whole lot of variation and confusion, and skua mimicry (petrels part V) - Eurylaimides, Tyrannida and Furnariida: the suboscine passerines - Getting a major chapter on birds – ALL birds – into a major book on dinosaurs - The war on parasites: the pigeon’s eye view, the oviraptorosaur’s eye view - Dyke & Kaiser’s Living Dinosaurs: the Evolutionary History of Modern Birds - Giant petrels, snow petrels, fulmars and kin (petrels part VI) - Raptors kill hominids, kill cattle, kill giant moa - Did Velociraptor and Archaeopteryx climb trees? Claws and climbing in birds and other dinosaurs - Turkeys vs peafowl, the great debate - The other turkey - The other peacock So, how did I do? Results... After totting up the articles covered over the previous year, it’s obvious that 2012 was good for birds and mammals at Tet Zoo. A bit too good, perhaps: as is typical, charismatic megafauna definitely hogged the limelight. Mesozoic non-birdy dinosaurs were fairly well represented, but it’s good to see that croc-line archosaurs got slightly more coverage – and I still need to write lots more about them. As I always say, dinosaurs are great, but they’re already well served elsewhere in the blogosphere and it’s for this reason that I mostly avoid covering dinosaur-themed news stories. Mostly. I’m especially surprised and ashamed to see that lissamphibians essentially got no coverage at all during the year (ok, we have one rushed article on axolotls). Ancient ‘amphibians’ – as in, non-amniote, non-lissamphibian tetrapods – also had little presence. Non-mammalian synapsids got no coverage at all. This all makes me feel bad, since I really do aim to give representative coverage and equal amounts of love and time to all parts of the tetrapod tree. The constraints that limit my coverage include (1) a focus on hits: like it or not, articles on dinosaurs, birds and big mammals do seem to attract more visits (and definitely more comments) than those on frogs and obscure lizards, and (2) a partial reliance on the text and research I already have sitting around, most of which is – I’m sorry to say – on birds, mammals and Mesozoic dinosaurs. Actually, I have tons of text on toads sitting around, but I’ve gotten stuck in the middle section on obscure African lineages, I have trouble sourcing the illustrations I need, and I’m not yet able to move on. As always, this inspires me to want to change things and, say, to focus for months on nothing but lissamphibians and non-mammalian synapsids. Alas, the sad fact is that this just isn’t possible due to those two constraints. Time is the big factor: there is never enough time for blogging when so many other things require priority. It just remains for me to say that I hope you enjoyed the previous year of operation at Tet Zoo and I hope you’re looking forward to what’s in store next. Including this one, Tet Zoo ver 3 now features 146 articles, many of which inspired copious comment and insight from you visitors. And thanks indeed to everyone who visits or comments – ver 3 currently has over 5100 comments, so the feeling of an interested and active Tet Zoo community is very much there, despite the total failings of SciAm to provide a user-friendly commenting system (due to faceless bureaucrats at the top, not to the visible and hard-working SciAm editors). I want to finish by thanking my wife, Toni, for everything. I don’t know how different things would be if I didn’t have her love and support. If you enjoy Tet Zoo and are on twitter, do follow me. I tweet as @TetZoo (there are also #TetZoo things to look at). There’s also a Tet Zoo facebook page. For previous Tet Zoo birthday articles see... - Happy first birthday Tetrapod Zoology (part I) - Happy first birthday Tetrapod Zoology (part II) - Happy second birthday Tetrapod Zoology (part I) - Tetrapods of 2007 (happy birthday Tet Zoo part II) - Happy THIRD birthday Tet Zoo - Tet Zoo = 4 years old today - 2009, a year of Tet Zooery - Four years of Tet Zoo: to infinity... and beyond! - It is with some dismay that I announce Tet Zoo's first hemi-decade - Tet Zoo 5th birthday extravaganza, part II - Happy Birthday Tetrapod Zoology: SIX YEARS of blogging - Happy 6th Birthday, Tetrapod Zoology (part II) Refs - - Agnarsson, I., Kuntner, M. & May-Collado, L. J. 2010. Dogs, cats, and kin: A molecular species-level phylogeny of Carnivora. Molecular Phylogenetics and Evolution 54, 726-745. Benson, R. B. J., Ketchum, H. F., Naish, D. & Turner, L. E. 2012. A new leptocleidid (Sauropterygia, Plesiosauria) from the Vectis Formation (Early Barremian-early Aptian; Early Cretaceous) of the Isle of Wight and the evolution of Leptocleididae, a controversial clade. Journal of Systematic Palaeontology DOI: 10.1080/14772019.2011.634444 Birn-Jeffery, A. V., Miller, C. E., Naish, D., Rayfield, E. J., Hone, D. W. E. 2012. Pedal claw curvature in birds, lizards and Mesozoic dinosaurs – complicated categories and compensating for mass-specific and phylogenetic control. PLoS ONE 7(12): e50555. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0050555 Coard, R. 2007. Ascertaining an agent: using tooth pit data to determine the carnivores responsible for predation in cases of suspected big cat kills. Journal of Archaeological Science 34, 1677-1684. Conway, J., Kosemen, C. M. & Naish, D. 2012. All Yesterdays: Unique and Speculative Views of Dinosaurs and Other Prehistoric Animals. Irregular Books. Dyke, G. Vremir, M. Kaiser, G. & Naish, D. 2012. A drowned Mesozoic bird breeding colony from the Late Cretaceous of Transylvania. Naturwissenschaften 99, 435-442. Hone, D. W. E., Naish, D. & Cuthill, I. C. 2012. Does mutual sexual selection explain the evolution of head crests in pterosaurs and dinosaurs? Lethaia 45, 139-156. Hutt, S., Naish, D., Martill, D. M., Barker, M. J. & Newbery, P. 2001. A preliminary account of a new tyrannosauroid theropod from the Wessex Formation (Early Cretaceous) of southern England. Cretaceous Research 22, 227-242. Knell, R. J., Naish, D., Tomkins, J. L. & Hone, D. W. E. 2012. Sexual selection in prehistoric animals: detection and implications. Trends in Ecology and Evolution 28, 38-47. Minter, R. 2011. Big Cats: Facing Britain’s Wild Predators. Whittles Publishing, Dunbeath, Caithness. - . 2012b. Should we give up looking for Bigfoot? BBC Focus March 2012, 27. - . 2012c. Palaeontology bites back… Laboratory News May 2012, 31-32. - . 2012d. [Review of ] New perspectives on horned dinosaurs: the Royal Tyrrell Museum Ceratopsian Symposium. Historical Biology doi: 10.1080/08912963.2012.688589 - . 2012e. [Review of] Biology of the Sauropod Dinosaurs: Understanding the Life of Giants edited by Nicole Klein, Kristian Remes, Carole T. Gee, and P. Martin Sander. The Quarterly Review of Biology 87, 53. - . 2012f. Birds. In Brett-Surman, M. K., Holtz, T. R. & Farlow, J. O. (eds) The Complete Dinosaur (Second Edition). Indiana University Press (Bloomington & Indianapolis), pp. 379-423. - . 2012g. Questions at the frontiers of… dinosaur science. BBC Focus October 2012, 32-33. - . 2012h. Identifying ‘Jaws’, the Margaret River mammal carcase. The Journal of Cryptozoology 1, 45-55. Taylor, M. P., Hone, D. W. E., Wedel, M. J., & Naish, D. 2011. The long necks of sauropods did not evolve primarily through sexual selection. Journal of Zoology 285, 150-161. Woodley, M. A., McCormick, C. A. & Naish, D. 2012. Response to Bousfield & LeBlond: Shooting pipefish in a barrel; or sauropterygian “mega-serpents” and Occam’s razor. Journal of Scientific Exploration 26, 151-154.

WMG: Magick Chicks There is no Faith Abbot...Sandi is actually a VERY powerful and VERY disturbed esper and Faith is just a projection of hers, ala' Batman's Scarface. Her reactions to people Faith shows attention to is part of her fractured mind. Admittedly, this is probably far from the truth, but would give a very dark twist on the whole comic. Physical God! Melissa's not really a witch.She's a Magical Girl who was adopted by witches and has so far proved a triumph of nurture over nature. The way Mel's been raised means she uses her magical powers the same way witches do, and since there seems to be little noticeable difference (if there is a difference) between witches and humans with magical powers, Mel's never done anything unusual enough for her friends to realize she's different from them. The recent change of scenery, however, is starting to call out to Mel's dormant abilities, which might explain why Magical Maid Melissa and the little girl with her cat up a tree have been on Mel's mind despite her vehement lack of interest in such things. Given that invoking the power of the school apparently produced a magical girl's transformation wand, Faith might have shoved Mel down a path she was born to tread but raised to fear and hate. - When the 2013-01-16 Eerie Cuties finally introduces Melissa's daddy, an expy of Lara Croft, that opens up more possible twists in Mel's origin. - Jossed in that Faith confirms that HALF her heritage is witchcraft. Faith is not a nice person, but she's not quite the sociopathic bitch she seems.It's possible that Faith's predatory personality and flagrant abuse of her psychic powers to toy with the affections of her classmates are actually just another form of bullying to Faith derived from a low sense of self-worth. Earlier in her school life, Faith might have been Lonely at the Top, a prodigal esper but not someone anyone actually liked. Rather than finding a few good friends to try and establish real bonds with people, Faith might have simply snapped after a while and realized she could use her powers to make people love her, and from there fell down the slippery slope that everybody has to love her. Someone like Mel managing through luck or stubbornness to repeatedly rebuff her Instant Seduction might drive Faith to have a Villainous BSOD when she realizes she doesn't have the power to demand the unconditional love of everyone around her. - Jossed, Faith isn't a sociopath and it's been revealed that she had subconsciously sync'd her powers with the school without realizing it. The translationAn attempted translation of the words Mel is speaking in this page, based on a simple substitution cypher, resulted in Beware the Corruptor. His Agent is Near. This has lead to much WMG on the forums, to iclude: Lets start off with the simple question of is the 'agent' even referring to Faith? Just 'on screen' there is Sandi, Mandi (Tiff?), and junior Psyker Girl there. Plus off screen could easily be Cerise, Jacqui, and a couple dozen of other girls running around in swimwear. And what is 'near'? Hell, the corrupter's agent might be Nina for all we can tell. (And on a side note, wouldn't it be hilarious if it turns out that the Delacroixs were Faith's neighbors, with neither knowing the truth about the other?) Lets assume Sandi is able translate it herself. What will her reaction be? Will she ask the same kind of questions as above? Will she assume that it refers to Faith? And if she does make that conclusion, would she tell Faith, or would it even affect her infatuation? Is the 'agent' of this 'corrupter' a bad person? They could be operating with the assumption they are on the side of 'good', or not even aware that they are working for the benefit of another power. And is the 'corrupter' even the bad guy? It might be that the agency that is talking through Mel might be some kind of 'we will bring absolute order to this chaotic world' type force or such, and as such would see any resistance to such as a 'corrupting' factor. The corruptor is: - Faith: a powerful esper that easily bends people to her will with an ironic name. - Mindy (the girl with the hors d'ouvres): Someone we know nothing about, with scary shiny glasses and seems to be always right there through out the pool party even distracting Faith as she was testing the wand near Mel. - Jossed - - The Wand, as seen from Hekate's point of view. - Hekate, who gave Cerise a potion that supercharged her evil side - Cerise, who passed that corruption onto Skye (unknowingly) Faith just might change for the better.After Tiffany saves her life, she asks her out. Perhaps the attack shook her and having to be rescued humbled her. It's also possible that Faith may have genuine feelings for Tiff, and if they do go out, she may change. - Later events show that Faith may have been unaware of (or unwilling to accept) the true affect her powers were having on the other girls at Artemis Academy Callista will fall in love with Cerise.A few reasons, Cerise really blew her away with her introduction. She seems fairly nice and since she hasn't been developed yet, Cerise might pull her into a High Heel-Face Turn, or at least get her off of Faith's side. And it would be really cute. - It's beginning to look like Faith is actually on the good side, meaning Cerise is the one to pull a High Heel-Face Turn. If she does, Cally will be instrumental Dating Callista will result in Cerise realizing she really is a lesbian.While her motive for asking Callista out is purely self-serving, Cerise will grow fond of Callista over time, until eventually realizing that she is actually falling for her. The Transparent Closet opens, and Cerise realizes to her own surprise that she really does want to be Callista's girlfriend, and not just to get popular. Of course, the moment she admits this to herself. Callista will find out from someone else that Cerise has been using her this whole time and promptly give Cerise a piece of her mind before dumping her. Cue a Humiliation Conga as Cerise has to compromise her quest to be Alpha Bitch repeatedly and mortifyingly in an effort to get Callista back. The headmaster of Charybdis deliberately sent the girls to Artemis Academy in order to get rid of them for good.In other words, a Uriah Gambit. Probably expected them to expose themselves as witches quickly and get themselves killed. (Jossed, the headmaster sent them to Artemis Academy to spy on the monster hunters) Faith is the corruptor. - With the wand coming back into the picture, I decided to re-examine this strip where Melissa first warns of the corruptor, while under the wand's effect. If the translation is to be believed, beware the corruptor, his agent is near, then the answer seems fairly obvious: the corruptor is Faith. - Let's look at the facts: - First and foremost, Sandi is one of Faith's agents (the other being, Callista). In the first panel, we see Sandi standing only a few feet away, prepared to take notes on Melissa's reaction as Faith draws nearer, with the wand in hand. - Once she gets within fifteen feet of Melissa, Melissa goes into a trance-like state and warns that the corruptor's agent (presumably, Sandi) is near. Sure enough, in the exact same panel, we see Sandi making a note of Melissa's 'verbal reaction', to dechiper for analysis. - That'd make Faith the corruptor, without question. Look at the sway she has over the female student body and how easily she seduces them. Layla even likened being near Faith to a "sugar buzz." - She had a similar effect on Tiffany, before resisting. She's even called Faith out on abusing her power, both verbally and mentally. - Assuming the translation, and the rest of the above are correct, the question becomes: is Faith consciously aware of who she is? And, if so, to what extent? Without realizing it, Tiffany may have asked the very same question herself: Tiffany: "Abusing your power comes so naturally to you, doesn't it? But how much of that's your mind juice? Do you even know?" - This, along with Faith's cavalier attitude about it, may suggest it's something she does unconsciuosly. Perhaps without malicious intent, depending on the sincerity of her words here. Will Hekate order Melissa to terminate Faith? - Extending from the preceding WMG: Hekate has decreed that anyone who knows of the wand's existence to be terminated. So far, that includes Faith. If she really is the corruptor, she's sure to be a target. And even if she isn't, she still knows about the wand. Will Hekate leave Faith's fate to Melissa? Or will she settle the affair herself, if it turns out to be true? - It looks like Hekate has taken matters into her own hands, since Melissa refused to comply to her demands. Poor Faith. - There's also Tiffany to consider, who's becoming personally involved with Faith, who's currently under attack from Hekate! Tiffany x Faith will become canonRecent events seem to be shaping up this way as, with each new installment, they appear to be getting closer. At the very least, Tiffany no longer seems to object as strongly as she did in the beginning, and is showing signs of possibly considering it. Though one has to wonder how it'll effect her friendship with Layla if she takes Faith up on that offer. - Now has a bit more fuel for the fire, as of the newest strip. - In chapter 15, she has an inner monologue after Amelia kisses her, and hopes Faith didn't see it. Then suddenly realizes what it could mean regarding her own feelings toward Faith. - Later, she even tells Faith that she'd be more convinced that she was her "one and only" if she'd stop flirting with other girls in front of her. - Bear in mind, that she's fully aware that Ash sleeps around on her and she's perfectly fine with it. But the mere thought of Tiffany being with someone else upset her. - Also note that when the 'Mystery Girl' said she was impotent, Faith's immediate response was to tell her to "ask any of her girlfriends", not her boyfriend, who happens to be the alpha at the neighboring school. The corruptor is the source of the wand, and Tiffany—or the wand itself—is its agent. - "Beware the corruptor! His agent is near!" was a warning from something within in Mel that the power of the school was coming to corrupt Mel into a Magical Girl heroine. The agent was either the wand itself or Tiffany, both of which work together to make Mel into a superhero. Honestly, I don't know how this works, considering Hekate didn't even know about the abominable wand at that point, and Mel apparently didn't hear the warning as whatever it was took her over to say it. Hekate's reason for hating the wand is simply that it's tacky and hideous. The comic is setting Cerise up for a Humiliation Conga. - The reason everything seems to be going her way about now? So that her fall will be all the more satisfying. Said fall will probably start with Callista dumping her. Mel's "daddy" appears to be the opposite sex of the observer(Jossed. It's a glamour.) Check out the responses in his second strip. All the female characters react as if Dakota's a man. An attractive man, in Jacqui's eyes. "Daddy" in Mel's eyes. Ace sees him as a woman. Are we seeing these first two strips with Dakota as if through Ace's eyes? - Also, Dakota's age is ambiguous enough that this troper suspects Dakota's form is illusory all the way around. - Is Dakota some sort of ageless sprite or apparition? - Is this a mental projection of some kind? Is Dakota a ghost? Alternatively, we and Ace are seeing Dakota's true form, and a glamour makes Dakota appear masculine to the others. - Is this a werewolf power? - Or is it a matter of Dakota never having met Ace before, whereas the others are already enchanted to see Dakota as male? Dakota is only disguised as male for the witches' eyes(From the Pixie Trix forum) - Here is another dark possibility: That is not Dakota. A witch hunter is posing as him using some kind of magic, but since Ace isn't a 'witch', the illusion falls flat. There is a quick battle, and the hunter escapes. Cue a few weeks from now, over in MC, and one day one of Mel's classmates casually introduces her mother... Dakota's true nature and Mel's Magical Girl fate tie in together—somehowSomehow... Confirmed. ...and "Musical Starlight" could clinch it."Musical Starlight" is a magical girl who earlier had The Wand. Dakota uses glamour, like Jacqui and other Magical Girl heroines like Sailor Moon (or here alluding to "Sailor V" as the mask and fuku-like school uniform hint). Meaning earlier Dakota or someone like her WAS "Musical Starlight," and The Wand was passed down to her child, Mel. It just hadn't come out until recently as Mel hadn't enough power to access it thanks to Hekate at Charybdis and due to her not tapping into Artemis Academy's own magic reserves. Faith isnít oblivious to Sandiís affections. - She knows very well that Sandi wants her in the worst way, but she wonít date her or even acknowledge it because of a few reasons: - As a mentoring figure to Sandi, it would be unethical. - She dates people she considers her equals, as in Ash and Tiff (after she proves herself competent). Sandi keeps Faith on a pedestal; it would be an unequal relationship (and it would be a relationship because the two of them are close [she trusts Sandi with the information about the wand], so she couldnít just use Sandi as a fling). - She knows that Sandi isnít in love with her, but an idealized version of her (which is why Sandi gets so defensive if anyone implies that Faith has flaws). Asking her to do things (like wash the dog) is supposed to be a way for Sandi to re-evaluate the relationship (a reality check). - Sandiís personality makes it quite likely that she could go from Clingy Jealous Girl to Yandere if influenced (and emboldened by having a relationship) and Faith knows that sheís not ready to settle down (so if the relationship ends, it could have a very messy fallout). - Another possibility is that Sandi simply isn't a 'challenge' for Faith. Faith is a 'hunter' and seductress. For her, Sandi would be like shooting a tame bear. There is no more Cerise after Chapter 14, "Broken Up"... - ... because Jacqui said "Cer-" in Chapter 15 then suddenly remembered it was time to go camping. Faith knows something is missing or wrong but can't put her finger on it. - Also, in "Broken Up" Cerise's power play showed herself to Hekate as someone out for herself instead of for the Coven. Meaning she exposed herself as a traitor to the Goddess of Witches. And Hekate as a result removed Cerise from the minds of everyone else. - As of the latest strip, this seems to be true. - Now Jossed as it turns out it was part of Cerise's plan to take Faith's connection from Artemis Academy for herself, and use it to be loved and adored by all, and be even more popular than Faith or Mel. She got all the girls to go camping who could stop her, and selectively wiped their minds of her to not think about Cerise while she did her "hostile takeover." Only when Tiffany remembered about Cerise did they all remember her, but by then Cerise had completed seizing Faith's connection and the power it had for herself. Cerise is the Corrupter - And Skye is her agent. As of their appearances in Broken Up, several things have happened: time travel is possible in at least a limited sense, Cerise is pretty much pure evil, she's spread it to Skye (making her a literal corrupter), and Skye has done most of the on-screen evil, making her a good agent. The two are also running off of Hecate's power, and Hecate has been shown to be actively hunting the wand, so it would be natural for the thing to actively beware anyone with her influence in them. Melissa is part witch, part magical girl: she's Musical Starlight's daughterThis is the reason why Melissa was chosen by the wand: because Dakota, her mysteriously female father, is the wand's previous owner. According to this theory: - Dakota became a male using the Orb of Tiresias, either to escape her fate as a magical girl or because she fell for Anastasia but Anastasia wasn't into women (see below), or both. - She fathered Melissa as a male, then later reverted to female for reasons unknown, but probably having to do with the Orb's destruction; now she needs the hypnotic charm to maintain her cover. - Dakota recognizes Melissa's fat cat familiar because it used to be her own familiar: she and Musical Starlight are the same person (they even have identical hair, except for the colour) The wand and the cat have simply passed from father to daughter. - Melissa, therefore, is of mixed descent, and that's why her magical girl outfit includes a witchy hat. - The sub-plot about Rain, the shape-shifting boy infiltrating Artemis Academy as a female so he could be close to the girl he likes , could well be foreshadowing of Dakota's own motives for changing gender. - Tiffany's fantasizing about romantic/sexual tension between heroines and their female nemeses is probably foreshadowing as well... considering the Reveal that eighteen years ago Anastasia was Musical Starlight's own arch-nemesis. It looks as if the two decided to elope together and start new lives, leaving behind their respective responsibilities as champion of justice and Queen of the Shadow Kingdom. - Almost completely confirmed in the latest strip as Faith realizes what Melissa is. - Confirmed, Dakota reveals she used to be Musical Starlight. Melissa IS Musical StarlightSeveral things make me think that: - There is not discernible distinction between witches and human magic users(Or, in this case, magical girls). - She has two mommies, and one of them is pretending to be her father. - Musical Starlight dissapeared after a fight with Melissa's mother. - The wand wasn't passed down to her, but actually came from inside her(Like the Silver Crystal from Sailor Moon fame). - Jossed, Dakota revealed she used to be Musical Starlight - While the theory itself was jossed, the title technically still stands on its own, as Melissa didn't want to hear the answer Melissa: Wait! Does that make me Musical Starlight now? Melissa: Wait! No! Don't answer that! Tiffany is not a humanAt least not completelly. That is, she IS an expy of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, down to having a demon's essence giving her super powers. - Again, there is no way to know if someone's a normal human or has cryptid blood in them. - She knows about Charybdis High School, something NO ONE else at Artemis know about, not even the powerful faculty members. - According to faculty documents Jacqui found... they might know about Charybdis. - They're rumors, which indicates it could go either way. - According to faculty documents Jacqui found... they might know about Charybdis. - She is able to emphatize with the cryptids, to the point her only know friends are Layla(A vampire) and Melissa(A witch) - Faith mind juice (by her own admision) doesn't work on her, much like Charybdis hasn't been found by them. - Faith said it was a lie. - Faith is directly adressing the accusation Cerise is making: That she remade the school in her image and that that is the reason everyoe likes her. Either she's giving a straight reply (It *is* a lie) or she's in denial. Neither option addresses Tiffany. - Actually, it does. If Cerise is lying about Faith using her power subconsciously to influence the student body, it'd mean there was nothing for Tiffany to resist. Just as she was unaffected by Cerise's amnesia spell, because Cerise never cast it on her to begin with. - IF Cerise is lying. here she admits she should be able to utilize her powers on Tiff. - All Faith said was, she should be able to sense Tiffany's presence. She didn't say anything about using her powers to try to influence her, in any way. - Faith said it was a lie. Someone At Artemis Has Been Investigating Charybdis HeightsAs noted in the preceding WMG, Jacqui found doucments concerning "a school for cryptids", which implies the faculty at Artemis may be aware of the existence of CH. However, this is not the first, nor is it the only instance between the two comics. - The earliest mention of rumors about the school was the 3rd panel, here, when Layla was explaining the importance of keeping out intruders on school grounds. - And, in Tiffany's first appearance, she also mentioned having finally found "the rumored training facility of the underworld's denizens". Which means a student from Artemis had been actively searching for it, based on those rumors. - Well, rumours can start in a number of ways, for example, someone at Artemis/Apollo could have say "We are i a monster-hunter school... what if there is a school for monsters!" or even watching "Monster High" and thinking "OMG! this could be real!" (Which would be preeetty much in character for Tiff to have deducted it this way. - Given her habit of eavesdropping, I'd say it's more likely she may have overheard some of the faculty discussing what was in those documents and decided to check it out on her own. Besides, the faculty isn't likely to launch an investigation based on what someone saw on a tv show. At the very least, there'd have to be something substantial enough to warrant looking into. Or, the source they're relying on would have to be deemed credible. - We've even seen that Faith and Sandi are thorough and look for conclusive evidence, before revealing their findings. If two of the student elite put that much time and effort into an investigation, I'd find it hard to believe that the teaching staff would do any less. Is the current "Skye" really Rain? - The recent update for 11/23/13 has "Skye" revealed to an agent for the Ninja Club, acting as La Resistance. We see the REAL Skye, bound, gagged and stripped to her undies as "Skye" reports in. Given Rain has "transforming" abilities, Rain could have met the Ninja Club as a "female" and agreed to get to Cerise IF they could bag the real Skye to prevent the plan from failing. Cerise is Queen Obscuria's real daughterThere's more than a passing resemblance between them, being that they're both evil redheads in service to dark forces, and both are in opposition to the wand - with Anastasia having fought its previous wielder, Musical Starlight who we now know was Dakota, while Cerise is at odds with Melissa, who's the wand's current wielder. - Anastasia's past reveals she was unpopular in highschool and was jealous of the girls who were, so she studied dark magic to banish them to the Shadow Realm, except she goofed and wound up trapping herself there. That sounds an awful lot like Cerise, doesn't it? - That might also double as an indicator about where Cerise has sent Jacqui and the student council. Anastasia is going to backstab HekateAnastasia appears horrified by Mel's assertion that Cerise killed Jacqui, and even more appalled at the idea of Melissa killing Cerise, but her reaction to Hekate's assertion that she'd be perfectly happy if Cerise killed Melissa was not depicted... perhaps because she's keeping a poker face while waiting for an opening. What did she say about the Shadow Lord? "I knew you shouldn't trust me." Cerise sent Jacqui and the student council to The Shadow RealmWe know Cerise is a summoner and can call forth creatures from other plains of existence and, after taking the dark essence, she gained the ability to summon Skye across time. She claims to have teleported them to into a volcano, but Hecate said she hadn't felt Melissa's soul crossing the Styx, indicating she was still alive. Regardless, Cerise seemed certain that, even if that were the case, there was still no way for her to return — emphasizing "from there." What if Cerise has succeeded where Anastasia once failed? Meaning, the volcano she sent them too might be in the Shadow Realm.: a separate plain existence and a hostile environment teeming with unknown dangers. It'd certainly explain why she thought it shouldn't have been possible for Melissa to come back.

|The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come| 1843 John Leech illo. “No, Spirit!” he cries. “Spirit, hear me! I am not the man I was.” Still, the finger points, as if signaling the old man to enter the grave he dug with his selfishness. Of course the brief scene described above is from Charles Dickens’ 1843 novella, “A Christmas Carol.” The tale of a miser who meets with four ghosts - and picks up tips about living charitably from the inhuman entities of Christmases Past, Present and Yet-To-Come - so impacted society that it helped re-shape how Western culture celebrates the holiday with generosity, family gatherings, parties and lots of food and booze. So move over, Halloween, because with all its ghosts and monsters Christmas is the better supernatural season. Whereas October clearly revolves around the world of the unexplained and mysterious, it is largely just used as an excuse to play dress up and enjoy some cheap thrills. Children celebrate it and but are told the ghouls are just people in rubber masks; adults goof on common fears and superstitions with slutty/silly/scary costume parties or trips to haunted attractions. Conversely, Christmas is a source of joy and jubilation. Belief is mainstream, and skepticism is actually considered crass (especially around kids). Even many of the most secular holiday celebrants admit to picking up on the ambient magic of the season populated with ghosts, spirits, cryptids, elves, psychics and sorcery. We even sing carols, along with Andy Williams, about December being the “Most Wonderful Time of the Year” where we celebrate “scary ghost stories.” In October, it’s spooky to think about a mindreading, time-and-space manipulating, ageless being with unlimited funds and elf minions who watches children and visits them while they sleep. But during December, Santa Claus is a comforting, kindly saint children are encouraged to talk to. He is friend to all children – as long as they behave and work hard to please the fat man, else they risk scorning the chimney-slipping bogeyman. Not only is the film Miracle on 34th Street now part of Christmas folklore, but even news outlets break from regular coverage to track Kris Kringle. The North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) has been tracking Santa’s journey on radar since 1955, and in 1897, The Sun - the now-defunct New York newspaper - ran an editorial telling 8-year-old Virginia O’Hanlon that yes, “there is a Santa Claus.” Based on late nineteenth century stories, and seemingly supported by the NORAD Santa Tracker, we believe Claus lives on a hidden landmass in the icy waters of the Terrestrial North Pole in the Arctic Ocean. The exact location of Santa’s home isn’t known but a recent pop-culture contribution from a six-foot Elf suggests it is in close proximity to seven levels of a Candy Cane forest, near a sea of swirly twirly gum drops, and apparently not far from the Lincoln Tunnel. Each child who looks to the sky on Dec. 24 accepts the concepts that the evolution prevented the red-nosed beast from joining others in socializing behavior – or reindeer games, if you will. It was also discovered in the 1964 stop-motion animation TV special, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer that the mutated reindeer has socialized with a fellow cryptid, the Bumble, a yeti-like creature known as the Abominable Snow Monster of the North. During Christmas, along with the hidden landmass in the North, which is like Atlantis but with a toy workshop, American society readily accepts the existence of another hidden city called Whoville. Talk begins anew each holiday season about the species of roast-beast eating Whos – discovered by the renowned Dr. Seuss in 1957 – who are terrorized by a green, cave-dwelling, bipedal humanoid with an enlarged heart who resides on Mt. Crumpit. The so-called “Grinch” domesticates dogs, and under the right circumstances, it possesses the physiological ability to grow its heart by two sizes. A certain level of sorcery is also at play during Christmas, and the mainstream believes this as true. Snowmen are able to utilize potentially-possessed items such as a felt hat to come to life and sing to schoolchildren, and an angel can slip a man into a parallel dimension to show him a world where he doesn’t exist. The list goes on of paranormal and unexplainable elements we choose to believe each Christmas season. Heck, we’ve even accepted within popular culture that Santa Claus can even survive on another planet and conquer Martians. Christmas is a time when the unexplained is embraced in a very real way by mainstream society, and the unbelievable becomes the believable. Anything is possible, including ghost guides, mythological beasts and a gift-giving elf. So you better be good for goodness sake – because he’s psychic and watching you right now, you know.